RECKLESS

STELLA RHYS

CONTENTS

Copyright

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Epilogue

The Irresistible Series

NOW OR NEVER

CONTACT STELLA

Copyright © 2020 by Stella Rhys

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

PROLOGUE

AJ

A wise woman once told me, “Shut that shit down, Adrienne—starting now.”

That wise woman was my sister Emily, older by two-and-a-half years, advising me on how to survive my new, incredibly coveted job at the male-dominated Engelman Sports in Beverly Hills, where I’d been miraculously hired as assistant to “that unbelievable smokeshow.”

“He is hot as hell, girl, but I don’t care what you do. Flip a switch. Get a poker face. Fake it till you make it, AJ, because that office will eat you alive if you let on that you have even the tiniest crush on your boss,” Emily had said—and with that big sister sternness she always broke out when things were serious. When she felt I needed it.

Which I very much did.

Because once upon a time—a distant five years ago—I found Adam Maxwell to be deathly attractive. Like, lose-your-breath, when-was-the-last-time-I-blinked, why-am-I-suddenly-sweating attractive. Objectively, he was.

Still is.

But five years ago, I wasn’t equipped to deal with it. I was twenty-two years old. Fresh out of college and brand new to his presence. I’d yet to build up my Adam Maxwell immunity and in fairness, I’d just never been face to face with a man who looked like that.

Having grown up in SoCal, I’d seen plenty of good-looking guys before. But Adam Maxwell was stupid handsome. The kind of perfect in the face that you didn’t see outside of movies, that would make him a stone-cold panty-dropper even if he were a mortal five-foot-ten, but the man was six-foot-goddamned-four with the lean muscle of an Olympic athlete, and to make matters worse, he had that smile.

That big, devilish smile that made you smile even when you didn’t want to smile—even when you were actively trying not to smile.

It was annoying.

Completely maddening for a variety of reasons, starting with the fact that I didn’t actually like him. I had a loving boyfriend in Caspar, whom I’d been dating since college, and I wanted nobody else. But getting heart palpitations when Adam Maxwell smiled wasn’t a choice, it just happened, and it wasn’t just me.

I saw with my own two eyes what it did to people. How it managed to seduce both men and women alike.

Thanks to that stupid, effortless charm, Adam got away with murder on a daily basis—murder that only I had to deal with the fallout of. He could blow off a date the fourth time in a row, cancel a meeting just as it was about to start, or plain steal the shirt off your back in the name of landing a client, but it would be totally fine—all because of that stupidly charming, irresistibly boyish-yet-cocky-as-hell smile.

In the beginning, I hated him for it.

But in the end, it was exactly what saved me.

Because every angry call I had to take, every Adam-induced fire I had to put out was like a little more dirt thrown on my silly crush, and within five weeks of working for him, the attraction was totally buried. Breathing or not, it was six feet under, and within about another month, I pronounced it officially dead.

Which made room for the start of our new dynamic.

The one where I was so consistently overworked and annoyed with the man that I didn’t have the time to do anything but my job, or the patience to bite my tongue and shut up when he was being far too much of a prick. Questions as to what “that face” was for were met with totally truthful answers, whether it was “you’re annoying me right now” or “I need you to stop rescheduling on this girl if you have no intention of ever seeing her.” And because Adam Maxwell was a bit of a twisted dickhead, that snappy brusqueness was precisely how our work relationship thrived. Precisely how I endeared myself to him and became known at the office as The Adam Whisperer. The only one who could rein him in when he was being a raging asshole. The only one who could make him sit long enough to actually listen.

It took a good six months, but once we fully settled into those roles, we became the ultimate dream team.

And in past five years, we’d gone to hell and back for his clients.

Together, we’d negotiated over three hundred-thirty million dollars worth of MLB contracts. Endured hundreds of layovers and thousands of hours worth of keeping one another sane in airports all around the world, with activities ranging from highlighting scouting reports for meetings to forcing our Spotify playlists on one another to filling out our trusty RuPaul-themed Mad Libs I’d bought from a Hudson News at O’Hare three years ago.

We’d camped outside clients’ houses together, driven through 2AM snow squalls together and argued over whether or not I said to just listen to the GPS, which I obviously had.

Unsurprisingly, I’d hated the man more times than I could count.

But that wasn’t to say I hadn’t also appreciated him before.

Borderline loved him.

Because the fact of the matter was that I’d lived the craziest, most eventful days of my life with him. We battled daily drama together, defended each other and guarded each other’s most precious secrets from the rest of the gossipy office.

Five years into this journey and we were a formidable duo, and in my mind, nothing was ever going to stop us.

But in my heart, I knew all good things came to an end.

And I should have known that one day—in just a matter of seconds—everything would change between me and Adam. In a literal blink of an eye, our years of hard-earned friendship would burst into flames. The word “platonic” would be a joke.

And work would never be the same.

“Nothing in this world stays perfect, AJ,” Emily had always told me.

So I should’ve known that one day, Adam and I would be ruined forever.

And I should’ve known it would all start with Caspar.

1

AJ

“Whoa.”

The wide-eyed looks were immediate when I got into the office this morning, which made me snort as I rolled my eyes.

“Hair,” Carl at reception said bluntly, still staring in shock at my hair. Because it was down.

That was it.

Though in fairness to Carl, my hair was never down at work and it was professionally blown out for the first time since high school graduation—hence the whole being down thing.

On a regular basis, I was a wash-and-air-dry kind of girl, but I’d woken up early this morning and paid a semi-absurd sixty dollars plus tip to make my hair bounce and shine like something out of a L’Oreal commercial, because as soon as I was finished with work tonight, it was going to be the night.

The super special, extra romantic kind of night to remember forever, and dammit, I wasn’t about to let a single strand of my hair move out of place till it was seen by the man I’d had it so perfectly done up for.

Even if that meant showing up to work like this and breaking part of my self-imposed dress code for the office.

Ponytail. Basic makeup. Heels no higher than two-and-a-half inches. I could wear whatever I wanted once I was officially promoted to agent but till then, this was the rule. Unless, of course, it was a very special occasion.

Which today, it very much was.

“Ooh yesss, girl, he’s gonna love it,” Liza squealed excitedly, eyeing the garment bags I was carrying as I wheeled my luggage past The Pit, the cluster of assistant desks that sat across the big glass wall of agent offices.

As recently as a year-and-a-half ago, I’d sat there too. But then Adam was promoted up the ladder and with him, my desk was upgraded to a wonderfully quiet, much more secluded corner fifty feet down, right outside his shiny new office.

Flashing a big grin at Liza, I continued down the hall toward my head-on view of Adam sitting half-reclined at his sprawling glass desk, looking every bit the cocky bastard he was while wearing a tailored grey suit and bored smirk on his lips—generally the sign that he was putting next to no effort in charming the pants off whomever he was talking to.

And that was definitely the case right now, considering he was talking to Kenzie Engelman, the boss’s daughter-slash-our resident rich girl intern who spent most of her work day tending to her fairly massive following on Instagram and trying to flirt it up with Adam.

Whoops.

Considering I doubled as Adam’s bouncer on a day-to-day basis, I knew well that Kenzie had taken my late arrival to work as an opportunity to pounce and subject my boss to her unique brand of flirting, which consisted basically of showing him shots from her latest “photo shoot” and asking which he thought were “cute enough to post” on Instagram, and which were only “medium-cute,” and thus only worthy of Stories.

Sorry, bud, I winced, though my guilt was nixed as soon as Adam looked up to catch me striding down the hall.

He was mid-sentence when our eyes met, and though he didn’t miss a beat of his speech, he paused in the middle of flipping a page in his file, his piercingly blue gaze assessing me for a moment before his dark eyebrows lifted high at the sight of my swishy hair.

But the double take lasted all of a second before he caught sight of all the extra bags I was carrying and with a brief but deeply ridiculing shake of the head, rolled his eyes swiftly back to his file.

I snorted.

“Dickhead,” I said under my breath as I got to my desk, because that was exactly what he was.

And because he knew exactly what all my extra luggage was for.

It wasn’t for the big client meeting we were flying to Palm Beach for in three hours—it was for the giant surprise that was to take place after, that I’d spent the entire past week meticulously planning for my fiancé, Caspar.

It was his twenty-ninth birthday tomorrow and we were originally scheduled to spend it apart because of work. I had to be in North Carolina with Adam for a big meeting with our potential client, Sean Knox, and Caspar was shooting his latest short film in West Palm Beach. Thanks to our hectic work schedules, we hadn’t seen much of each other in literally months, and it would be an understatement to say that things had felt strained between us of late.

But tonight was going to change everything, because as brutally corny as it sounded, it was like the stars had miraculously aligned in the name of our love.

Out of nowhere last week, Sean Knox had decided to report to Spring Training early, which meant that Adam and I would no longer be meeting him at his home in North Carolina, but at his Spring Training rental in West Palm Beach—right where Caspar was working.

The sudden change of plans had come exactly six days ago and since the moment I heard, I’d been scrambling like a crazy person to orchestrate the biggest, sexiest, most romantic birthday surprise for Caspar.

And of course, Adam had spent the same amount of time rolling his eyes as hard as humanly possible, because he didn’t have the highest opinion of Caspar, and like a true dickhead, was never exactly shy about letting it be known.

Beyond deeming my fiancé “needy” for how often he texted to check in when I was at evening work events, Adam had also once called Caspar “an offensive caricature of a person from LA.”

“I mean there’s the aspiring filmmaker thing. The yoga thing. The green juice thing. And not that anyone should be a vegan evangelist, but you definitely shouldn’t be if you aren’t goddamned vegan yourself half the time,” Adam had said, which in fairness, was a pretty solid point.

Still, I called him a jerk in my head as I took a seat at my desk.

And just about the second my butt hit my chair, a pair of texts buzzed into my phone.

ADAM: I’ve asked her five times to leave

ADAM: Get the hell in here and save me already

I smirked, tapping the space bar on my computer to wake up my screen. Out of sheer pettiness, I opted to fire off a few emails before making any attempt to help.

But then came the third text.

ADAM: You’re working tomorrow morning if you don’t come get her now

“Oh, come on,” I grumbled.

I had specifically requested tomorrow morning off so I could have a little more time to bask in the glow of the passionate morning sex I fully expected to have with Caspar, and while I doubted Adam would actually renege on his decision, I wasn’t about to risk it either.

I’d purchased way too much pricy lingerie and endured far too much waxing pain to put this weekend in any sort of jeopardy.

So after finishing the last sentence of my email, I grabbed my planner, my file and swiveled my chair to the left, walking the four steps it was to Adam’s office and shooting a look that said drama queen as soon as our eyes locked over Kenzie’s shoulder.

I let the shaming sink in for a good two seconds, but then with a swift transition to a look of exaggerated concern, I gave a knock on the door.

“So sorry to interrupt, Adam,” I said gently just as Kenzie whipped her blonde head around. “But your housekeeper called. She said it happened again.”

There was a creak in Adam’s chair as he paused and eyed me warily. “What?”

“The dry cleaner. They broke the zipper on your good pair of footie pajamas.”

Adam stared at me. An instant look of what the fuck glimmered in his eyes as he gave a long pause, like he was trying to decide if he hated me right now or if he found this reasonably amusing.

It was often a fine line.

“Which one?” he finally asked, with just enough of a frown in his brow to portray a sense of meaningful concern.

Kenzie whipped her head from him back to me as I grimly said, “The alligator one. With the spiky tail.”

“Fuck.”

“Wait.” Kenzie sat stiffly, her eyes shifting from side to side. “I don’t get it… why is this such a big deal?”

“Oh…” I bit my lip and peered up at Adam, as if seeking permission to tell her. “Well, you know, after such long, stressful days, Adam can’t sleep unless he’s wearing a special onesie.”

Kenzie stared, her nose wrinkling a little. “Really?” She turned from me back to him. “Really?”

He nodded seriously.

“She’s on line one now, Adam, if you want to talk to her,” I said before holding the door open. “Sorry, Kenzie—do you mind giving him some privacy?”

We both kept our straight faces as I saw Kenzie silently out, but as soon as I closed the door behind me, Adam let out a snort.

“You’re an asshole,” he informed me as he turned back to his laptop.

“Learned from the best,” I smiled brightly.

“Can’t argue that.”

“So Kenzie being at the fundraiser tomorrow night…” I stepped forward to stand in front of his desk. “Will that count as three of your exes in one room?”

“No, because one, I don’t have any exes,” Adam replied swiftly, which was actually fair because he didn’t do relationships and never officially dated anyone. “And two, you’re having way too much fun with the Kenzie story, so it’s being officially retired as of right now,” he said, to which I snorted, because I knew what he was referring to.

The Dungeon.

It was a place for off-limit topics. Things we’d inevitably discovered about each other after having worked so closely for so many years.

Once they were dungeoned, we were strictly not allowed to bring them up ever again, because one, they genuinely embarrassed the crap out of us, and two, there had to be rules when two people knew this much about each other. Without them, our heated debates—of which we had many—would get entirely too dicey. There were too many cheap shots and low blows we could resort to. It would be the Wild Wild West.

Hence The Dungeon.

It covered topics that ranged from the serious to the not-so-serious, like the time Adam gave a sincere “gracias” after asking a stranger for directions—in Tokyo—and the time he accidentally went on the world’s worst date with Kenzie three years ago.

Long story short, he’d invited her to a friend’s party after mistaking her late-night “hey u” as a text from a different Kenzie—whose name was actually Katie.

At said party, Adam was crestfallen to find the wrong hot girl not only waiting for him but convinced they were on a date. All night, Kenzie wound up following him like a puppy, fiercely cock-blocking him at every turn and eventually getting so high on edibles that Adam had to take her to the ER and spend three hours convincing her that she was not in fact dying.

I found out about the story when I picked him up from the hospital that night, and admittedly, I still found it hard not to laugh when Kenzie spoke with misty eyes about the night Adam “saved her life.”

“Alright, fine, dungeoned,” I relented, accepting the submission of the new topic, because I did have way too much fun at his expense with the story. “That said, you should probably stop doing anything to lead the girl on. Unless of course you plan on sleeping with her at some point.”

“Yeah, not happening,” Adam said.

“Why? Because she’s the boss’s daughter?”

“No, because I’d never be able to get past the extreme baby voice. It would be like fucking a Cabbage Patch doll.”

“That entire sentence just gave me hives, but you’re probably right. Which is why you should just nip it in the bud before she falls any deeper in love with you.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine.”

“Mm. Famous last words,” I lilted, earning myself a grouchy look from Adam, but he said nothing in reply, because he knew my record with him.

From bets about which of us would fare better at SoulCycle to whether or not there was something going on between his sister Holland and his best friend Iain last summer (spoiler alert: there was), I was undefeated in just this past year alone. I knew it, he knew it, and he hated acknowledging it, which was why he generally just changed the subject.

“Moving on,” Adam said. “What’s the rundown?”

With a dutiful nod, I opened up my planner, going swiftly into the rundown of the day’s schedule, which started with our noon flight to Palm Beach, which got us in before six and allowed us an hour to go over the notes for tomorrow’s big meeting before I was dismissed to get ready to surprise Caspar.

“At which point, you’ll be an hour away from having dinner at The Palm Grill. Confirmed the res with Mario last night and made sure you had your usual table and your usual wine,” I said.

“Perfect. What else?”

“Confirmed with Knox’s team that we’re on for noon tomorrow, and just to pack a little more punch to our presentation, I’ve scheduled three of your current clients to be available for a conference call during the meeting—just so Knox can hear from other like-minded players who’ve had contract success as your client,” I said, peering up to catch Adam’s eyebrows lift with approval. “And last but not least, I know you only asked for a list, but here’s a full breakdown of every endorsement deal you’ve negotiated for your clients over the past two years.”

With a big, winning smile, I leaned over his desk to present him the report, watching his eyebrows ascend even more as he flipped through its concise but detailed pages.

“Damn. Good work,” Adam said, openly impressed. Still, he knew better than to assume that I’d do extra credit just to be nice so leaning back in his leather chair, he hit me with a look. “What do you want?”

“To pack my extra stuff in your suitcase.”

“Your extra Caspar stuff?” He made a face. “Are you sure you need all that shit?”

“Are you sure that’s any of your business?” I countered.

“Just seems you’re going a bit overboard with this whole thing.”

“Yeah, well, you would too if you ever, you know, loved somebody.”

Adam uncapped a pen with his teeth. “I love being single more than anything in this world, so hard pass on that,” he said, circling something in my report. “That said, this is pretty exceptional work, so I’ll go ahead and let you pack all your dumb shit in my suitcase,” he said, making my eyes light up for all of a second before adding, “As long as you show me what’s inside first.”

“Of my garment bag? What, I need your approval on what I’m going to wear to surprise my fiancé for his birthday?”

“Considering I had to spend my week watching you make thirty date night Pinterest boards on company time, yeah. I’d like to know your efforts and my patience didn’t wind up in vain because you decided to go with a brown pants suit.”

“First of all, there’s nothing wrong with brown or pants suits.”

“So that’s really what’s in there.”

“No, dickhead, if you must know, it’s all very expensive lingerie in there,” I said, tipping my nose in the air. “A little silk robe and some very delicate, strappy bras and garters that I don’t want to get all tangled.”

Adam raised his eyebrows, as if impressed that I knew such spicy lingerie existed in this world. He paused for a second, as if genuinely needing the second to process.

“Well,” he finally said. “I certainly hope it works.”

I narrowed my eyes at the hint of a smugness touching the corner of his mouth. “For what?” I asked, already annoyed.

“Cassie’s performance issues.”

Ugh.

“Okay, first of all, dungeon,” I started curtly, knowing well that he was referring to what he’d overheard me telling my best friend Georgia about Caspar on the phone last week. God, I wish he would just tie me up and take control for once. For good reason: Dungeoned. “Second of all,” I went on hotly. “It was never performance issues, it’s just a… fundamental difference in personal taste.”

Adam’s eyes glimmered wickedly as he nodded.

“Right,” he said. “You like good sex and he doesn’t.”

“Alright, I’m leaving,” I said, already turning around.

And with that I marched back to my desk, breathing in, then out, then promptly getting over the fact that my boss knew the intricacies of my inadequate sex life. It wasn’t like I didn’t know plenty of weird shit about Adam, and in Caspar’s defense, I probably could’ve been more vocal about things I wanted in the bedroom. Of course, that was precisely what tonight was about.

Fixing things.

Getting us back to the us we’d always been.

It was basically going to be a hot, sweaty, sexy reset button for our whole relationship, and there was honestly nothing Adam could say today that could ruin my excitement.

In fact, just peering over at my garment bag full of satin and lace had me feeling like I could hardly wait any longer.

At this point, I was just counting down the hours.

2

ADAM

Sitting forward at my desk, I dragged my hand across my jaw.

I had an hour till our flight and about thirty emails to send but despite staring at all the words on my screen, I wasn’t actually seeing a single one, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of the bullshit that had been bothering me all week or the bullshit that was bothering me right now.

“I mean come on, man.”

My eyes flicked up to the bullshit of the moment, Josh MacMillan—or as he liked to call himself, J-Mac.

He was an entertainment lawyer who consulted at Engelman, generally on endorsement deals, and one of the guys I played basketball with on the weekends. He was also annoying as all hell, even when he wasn’t doing what he was doing today, which was hanging out uninvited in my office while staring out the door at AJ, who was talking to one of the other assistants down the hall.

“It’s wild. Five years she’s worked here and only now does she decide to start putting an effort into looking hot.”

“I think she specifically avoided ‘making an effort’ to avoid the creepy shit you’re doing right now.”

Josh laughed. “I’m not being creepy. I’m just being a guy with a working dick and eyes,” he said, waving down the hall at presumably AJ, no doubt because she’d caught him staring like an idiot. “I mean she’s one of the only chicks in the office, and probably the only one who’s actually hot underneath it all. No way you’ve never thought about hitting that before.”

“I haven’t,” I said as I finished up one of the thirty emails. “I’m also not engaging in this conversation with you.”

“Good. ‘Cause I don’t actually have anything to talk to you about. I only came in here to get a better view of Adrienne ‘I Was Secretly Hot This Whole Time’ Tan,” Josh said, chuckling at his own dumb joke right before cursing under his breath. “Goddamn, bro. You seeing this shit?”

I heaved a sigh as I glanced up, looking past Josh and at AJ, who was over by The Pit. She was smiling big, her dark hair spilling over her shoulder as she leaned over Liza’s desk, discussing something on Liza’s computer.

And as she did that, I took the time to fully process her look today.

I did this often enough, and pretty easily considering I saw her way more than any of these other clowns at work. I’d seen her at home in her pajamas before. Noticed the way her body looked in a fitted cotton tee. On pure instinct, my dick had definitely twitched that time I saw her at the hotel gym in Chicago.

All I remembered was a grey hoodie that cut off above the waist of her black yoga pants, and thighs so toned I’d been compelled to look for longer than a second as we walked past each other. “Gross,” AJ remarked, to which I’d snorted, and then we kept it moving.

Because that was generally what I did with her in these situations: Assess the difference. Catalogue it in my head. Carry on with my life.

But today was different.

Today, it wasn’t quite as easy to move on from looking at her, because I knew she looked the way she did specifically for Caspar, and while I had always known his weak ass didn’t deserve her, I was pretty sure I had the hard evidence now after seeing him outside a cafe on La Brea three days ago.

When he was supposed to be location scouting in Sydney.

As in Australia.

The lie itself would’ve been bad enough, especially since AJ had been waking up at a quarter to five all week just so she could call him before bed, but his shittiness didn’t actually stop there, because I hadn’t just seen him in LA.

I’d seen him with his hands stuffed into some girl’s back pockets.

And his mouth buried in her neck.

Christ.

The memory of the image made me grimace and curl my lip at my desk, because I’d already disliked this guy before all this—for always forcing AJ to tend to his needy ass, and for making her step outside to call him every twenty minutes when she was with me at work parties.

It didn’t help his case that he started every sentence he goddamned spoke with “as a filmmaker.”

But now I had a much realer reason to hate the little shit, and I was struggling hard with the decision not to tell AJ about what I saw.

So as Josh went on about some bullshit, I grabbed my phone off my desk and shot a quick text.

ME: You’re sure I shouldn’t tell her?

I attempted in vain to read an email as I waited for the reply, which took about twenty seconds.

HOLLAND: Yes. She literally spent her entire week getting ready to surprise him and you’re only 70% sure the guy you saw was Caspar.

I grimaced, rubbing the back of my neck as I read my little sister’s text.

Admittedly, with his stupid face buried so deep in other-woman neck and my car going sixty miles an hour, I hadn’t been able to confirm with total certainty that the blond douchebag with the man bun was in fact Caspar.

But he was about five-ten with a slight build and a T-shirt with Quentin Tarantino’s stupid face on it, so all signs seemed to be pointing in the cheater’s direction.

ME: Fine. But for the record it’s more like 76%

HOLLAND: Weirdly specific but my point stands. Don’t tell her.

My brow furrowed at her insistence, but just as I went to text my number two for his opinion, she texted again.

HOLLAND: Save it pal. Iain agrees with me.

“Alright, damn,” I said under my breath, laughing because eight months later, I was still getting used to the fact that my kid sister and best friend were an item.

I was also getting used to the fact that Holland, despite being ten years my junior, was a whole lot wiser a lot of the time.

HOLLAND: I know it sucks because you tell AJ everything but if it helps, I don’t think it was Caspar you saw. He might be annoying but he’s always been loyal.

HOLLAND: And to be totally fair, you’ve hated the guy since day one. Don’t you think there’s a chance your bias might’ve influenced what you saw that day?

I frowned hard as I read the latest text, but as I started typing a rebuttal, I stopped myself.

Because I didn’t actually have a defense.

I did hate Caspar. He constantly wasted AJ’s time and thus mine and I certainly wouldn’t complain if I didn’t have to hear his name again.

But at the same time, I didn’t want this to be AJ’s reality.

And as much as I hated having to defend Caspar—even if it was only in my own head—the fact was that I much preferred to hate the guy than have to kill him, or to see AJ made a fool.

So I went with the only move I had left, which was to assure myself that everything was probably fine.

“Hey, so now that you’ll be in town, you gonna be at the party tomorrow?” Josh asked, referring to the Engelman Foundation Fundraiser, which was held every year at a luxury resort in Palm Beach.

I blinked out of my thoughts but didn’t look at him. “Yeah,” I said, returning to my work.

“Is AJ going?” he asked, making me snort.

“No, she’ll be with her fiancé.”

“Ah, right. Forgot about him,” Josh said distractedly, staring down the hall for another few seconds before adding, “Man, fuck that guy.” To which I smirked.

At least there was one thing we could agree on.

3

AJ

“So, like… how long has it been exactly?” Georgia asked as I sat on the phone with her at the bar of The Hugo, where Adam and I stayed whenever we were in town on business.

It was a gorgeous hotel on the island of Palm Beach, and the very place I’d booked Caspar his own suite—as an “early birthday gift” to make up for “not being able to be there.”

It was the perfect cover.

Since the reservation was under my name, I was able to grab my own key at check-in fifteen minutes ago, which set the plan right in motion. Upon finishing this quick meeting with Adam, I’d do my hair and makeup in his room and then go to let myself into Caspar’s, where I’d be ready and waiting for him once he got home.

The timing was perfect, since according to Instagram, he and his crew were currently shooting at some house in West Palm Beach, and according to his texts, he planned to be back at the hotel by seven-thirty.

I couldn’t help the grin on my lips as I reread some of his cute texts from the morning.

CASPAR: All I want is to be back in that big ass bed. :) Thank you again for the room babe

CASPAR: Best fiancée ever. Miss you like crazy

I looked again at the cute selfie he sent me before taking a sip of my wine and following up on my best friend’s question of exactly how hefty a streak Caspar and I would be breaking tonight.

“Ummm, since actual sex or since sexual contact?”

“What do you mean by sexual contact?”

“Like… hand stuff? While we’re both half-asleep on the couch and mostly focused on Netflix?” I said, my entire face puckering into a shameful wince as I heard Georgia stop dead in the middle of stirring the soup she was making—basically the equivalent of me hearing her horror.

“Like, not even looking at each other, just looking at the screen?”

I covered my face with my hands, unsure if I was about to break into laughter or tears. “Yes.”

“Oh…” My best friend trailed off, sounding so genuinely upset for me that I had to cackle. “AJ. Honey,” Georgia said seriously. “How did it get that bad?”

I took a big drink of wine as my amusement wound down to a groan.

“I don’t know, he just… lifts a lot of heavy film equipment every day? And is super tired?” I hypothesized weakly. “And we just put so much energy into our careers. He’s busting his ass to break into the film industry and I’m dealing with Adam and these clients all the time. By the time we get home, we wind up just relaxing with each other instead of... firing each other up. You know?”

“Oh, I know,” Georgia said, her sigh a clear reference to her on-and-off boyfriend of four years, Wes. “Thing is, babe, it’s an easy fix. All that attraction and sexual chemistry is still there. It’s always been there. It’s just buried under a million layers of life and stress and all the complexities of your relationship. But it only ever takes is one night to wake it all up. And before you even know it, you two will be humping like bunnies.”

“God, I hope you’re right, because it’s been a month since I’ve been laid and my vibrator basically handed me a letter of resignation last night.”

“Wow, that is quite the visual. But hey, you know the saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’?”

“Yes…”

“Well, I think distance also makes your climax stronger.”

I broke into a laugh that was half-groan as I glanced at the clock. “That’s… beautiful, Georgia. But on that note, I gotta go. This meeting’s about to start any second.”

“Fine, but text me later to let me know how it goes with Caspar!” Georgia said eagerly just as the bartender slid a neat whiskey onto the counter next to me.

“I’ll text you tomorrow morning. Hopefully I’ll be too busy to text you tonight,” I said, looking down at the fingers wrapping around the whiskey, then up at who they belonged to—a smirking Adam as he slid into the seat next to mine.

“Hopefully being the key word,” he said as I hung up.

My eyes rolled back. “Adam. If you don’t let go of that one stupid thing you overheard about my sex life, I’m going to go into extreme detail about every time in the past five years that Caspar rocked my world with his nine-inch dick.”

Adam choked on the first sip of his drink, but my satisfaction was short-lived. “Christ, I think we’ve hit a new low for Cassie when you’re lying about his dick size for him.”

“Who says I’m lying?” I quipped, but the very dry look I earned made it clear that there was no point in trying to keep up the act. “Alright, fine, I’m lying, but for the record, I don’t need to defend Caspar’s bedroom abilities to you and also, no woman actually wants a dick that big inside her.”

Adam lifted his eyebrows. “No?” he laughed. “And why not?”

I blinked. Because it would hurt? And if it was that big, you wouldn’t be able do it that hard?

But also you’ve never been with a nine-inch dick, so you don’t know that for sure, I considered, feeling a tiny rush of heat in my cheeks as I entertained a brief but very X-rated fantasy of what it would feel like to have a dick that big inside me.

“For the record, I’ve never had any complaints,” Adam said.

And coincidentally, my thighs clenched.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, AJ, I scolded myself.

But it was too late. I wasn’t even looking at Adam, but the smirk was audible in his suddenly wicked voice and out of nowhere, the heat in my cheeks flooded down to my neck. Bitch, are you flustered? I asked myself, so stunned that I forced myself to act quickly normal by tossing my hair back and giving a “pshh” as I picked up my wine.

“Yeah, if Caspar doesn’t have a nine-inch dick, Adam, neither do you,” I scoffed, though my eyebrows pinched together as soon as the words left my lips, and I stared unblinkingly forward as I drank my wine in frowning silence, taking a couple seconds to realize my grave mistake—which was that one, I had no reason to say what I just said so confidently, because two, Adam was probably that big, given what I’d seen of him under his basketball shorts at the gym and three, it was weird as fuck of me to act like he and Caspar were anywhere on the same level.

They weren’t anything close to the same kind of man.

Which was totally fine.

I’d always loved and appreciated Caspar for who he was, even if he got occasionally sensitive about the kind of guys I was constantly surrounded by at work—in his words, “Meathead jocks who only talk about money and sports and probably have dick-measuring contests.” Hell, if there was any one thing I found unappealing about Caspar, it was his insecurity over Adam, because it was always pointless and silly and totally unfounded.

Until now, apparently, because you’re fucking blushing your face off and wondering what a nine-inch dick feels like, and Adam can a thousand percent tell, so get your shit together, I scolded myself.

But it was most definitely too late, because from the corner of my eye, I could see Adam having the time of his life, his head tilted just so as he watched me suffer quietly through my inner turmoil.

But then with a crooked grin on his lips, he faced forward like me and took a drink from his glass.

“I think we both know I have a couple things your fiancé doesn’t,” he said, making my cheeks light on fire all over again.

Because he absolutely did.

Dick aside, he had the clout. The success. The respect. Every networking connection in LA that an aspiring filmmaker would kill for. Yes, Adam did have literally everything that Caspar wanted, and yes, it was exactly why my fiancé was constantly texting me to come home whenever I had to work late.

Because he was jealous.

That much had always been abundantly clear to both Adam and me. It just went mercifully unspoken of over the past five years, because it’d be painfully awkward for me to have to acknowledge that my boss’s mere existence managed to threaten my relationship in any way.

Doing that would be a slippery slope down a road where I’d also have to acknowledge that my boss was very, very attractive and appealing as a man, and that was a fact that I had happily forgotten many years ago.

Though it was clearly rearing its unwanted head right now.

For the love of God, AJ, what the fuck? I demanded of myself, taking a deep breath and facing Adam only once I knew the heat had drained from my cheeks.

“Not that I’m ever shocked by what a dick you are, but is there a reason you’re being the particular worst about Caspar today?” I finally asked, mostly as a long-winded way of saying “you fucking suck.”

“Am I?” Adam frowned. And for a brief moment, considering the slight falter in his smile, I thought he was about to be serious. To have an actual answer for me. But then the corner of his mouth twisted into a crooked grin. “Apologies. My intention is to go this hard every day, but I’ll be sure to pick up the slack.”

I groaned. “I’m going to do actual damage to my corneas if I roll my eyes any harder, so I won’t. But please know that your joke just now sucked.”

“Noted. Shall we get on with this meeting?”

“Please.”

And for the next forty-five minutes, we did exactly that, reviewing all the notes we’d compiled for tomorrow’s meeting with Knox. It wasn’t difficult. We’d been obsessively preparing for this presentation all month, which was definitely a good thing now, because as incredibly important as this potential client was to me, I couldn’t quite focus on him right now.

My mind was fixed entirely on two things:

Getting over the weird exchange I’d just had with Adam.

And getting ready to pull off this big surprise for Caspar.

Thankfully, the excitement of the latter soon overtook the former, so pretty much the second we wrapped on the meeting, I popped up from my chair, chugged the last of my wine and beamed as Adam handed over his extra room key while giving me the customary look of annoyance.

“Just don’t take too long, alright?” he said as I tucked the card into my pocket. “I need to shower and get ready for dinner once you’re done.”

“No worries, I’ll be fast,” I said, tossing back the final gulp of my wine. “Who’s your date tonight, by the way?”

“No idea. I’m still deciding between Jess and Danielle.”

“What, are they on call for you or something?” I snorted. But as Adam took a drink from his glass and gave me a blank stare, I realized they very much were. “Oh, gross,” I crinkled my nose, because five years later, I was still in awe of the amount of shit the man got away with. But as I slung my purse over my shoulder and weighed between the almost identical, model-looking blondes, I put in my two cents. “I say go with Jess.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because Danielle’s from NorCal and she says ‘hella’ so often that you kept saying ‘hella’ after spending a night with her last time, and it was in an ironic way, but I haven’t forgiven you for it.”

Adam raised his eyebrows. “Jess it is,” he concluded as he whipped out his phone. “Now get your ass moving so we can get on with our nights.”

“Trust me, I’m gone,” I grinned, heading out. “But hey, cheers to us both getting laid tonight,” I called over my shoulder.

Adam didn’t look up from his phone. “Cheers to just you,” he corrected. “Since it’s a much rarer occurrence for you.”

4

AJ

Studying makeup tutorials on YouTube all week hadn’t been easy. I had braved probably a dozen videos’ worth of nasally teens welcoming me to their channel and urging me to “smash that like button,” but in the end it was all worth it.

Because what a killer smoky eye.

“Damn, should I do this every day?” I muttered to myself seriously despite already knowing that the answer was no. I definitely didn’t have the time or the energy to do this every day, but it was still an extremely valid question because holy hell, did I feel sexy.

Like super confident, it’s-not-just-the-lighting, should-I-make-a-sex-tape kind of sexy.

I definitely wasn’t going to make a sex tape.

That said, I did take about a dozen selfies and then opt to put my lingerie on ASAP. I had originally planned to complete the look after getting into Caspar’s room, but now I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to see the full get-up.

So unzipping my garment bag, I lifted out the lacy black set, hanging it on the bathroom door before stripping off my clothes with my bottom lip trapped between my teeth, because admittedly, it felt a little weird to be getting fully naked in my boss’s hotel room. For all the personal boundaries we crossed on a daily basis, this was definitely a first.

And it felt especially weird since he’d just revealed the size of his dick to me.

Though in fairness, you could’ve guessed it was that big. Also, he’s six-foot-four, so it’s just proportionate to his height, I thought before pausing half a second, wrinkling my nose and whisper yelling, “Stop thinking about this!”

Which I promptly did.

It helped that I got briefly confused as to how the hell garters even worked. I’d definitely never put them on before, but once I figured it all out and everything was all fastened and fixed, I couldn’t help but stare again in the mirror, asking myself—while fully knowing the answer—why I didn’t do this every day.

I felt like a full-on bombshell with the absurd amount of volume in my hair and my boobs so spectacularly pushed up in the balconette cups of my bra. And of course, there was the lacy black garter just absolutely killing it. It accentuated the pinch of my waist and the flare of my hips, and I was so in love with the way it looked that I truly couldn’t wait any longer for Caspar to see me.

So hastily, I threw all my clothes back on over my lingerie, grabbing my luggage and my phone and shooting Adam a text as I headed out the door to Caspar’s.

ME: All done! You can head up now

ADAM: That was actually pretty fast.

ME: Well it was really just makeup. The hair was all set

ADAM: Right. I meant to compliment the hair this morning.

ADAM: You clean up slightly better than expected

ME: And you snored the whole plane ride but I didn’t say anything

I snorted, rolling my luggage down the hall as I watched him start typing then stop.

It was a total lie what I’d said, but it made me smile to imagine Adam staring into the distance of that bar, wondering for the first time in his thirty-two years if he was in fact a snorer. Even he knew that the girls he slept with were too eager for a second date to ever tell him if he did.

Of course, he did not.

It would’ve been a useful imperfection in terms of keeping that ego in check, but alas, God said nah.

“Okay, three twenty-two… three-twenty-two…” I whispered to myself as I closed in on Caspar’s room number on the third floor.

My heart skipped a beat when I finally got to it and upon letting myself in, I smiled.

Straight ahead, on the table next to the window, I could see Caspar’s trusty MacBook accompanied by a single lowball and the bottle of his favorite Japanese whiskey that I’d had waiting in the room when he checked in yesterday.

It gave me a clear picture of his first night in the room—wearing just his sweats while sipping on a nightcap and editing next to a view of the glimmering water.

Biting my lip, I pictured the way my fiancé looked at me after a few glasses of whiskey. I pictured that glazed but mischievous look in his eyes as I stripped down again. And as I slipped on a little black robe, I relived the last time Caspar had fucked me like he meant it.

Almost a year ago, admittedly, but that didn’t stop my neck from getting all hot at the memory.

Of his hands in my hair. His panting hot breath on my skin.

I was so starved for passion that all it took were those thoughts to get me quickly hot and bothered.

God, just get here already, I willed my fiancé, pouring myself a bit of his whiskey as I gazed again in the mirror.

Taking a sip, I let the warmth trickle down my throat then spread in my chest, my eyes following the sensation and my lips curling into a smile, because God, I was so ready for this.

I looked and felt like walking sex and at this point, I was just so damned eager to be touched and appreciated and looked at by Caspar the way I used to be. I literally couldn’t wait.

And luckily, I didn’t have to much longer.

Because within another few minutes, I heard footsteps approaching the door. Quickly, I put my glass down and leaned myself against the table, biting my bottom lip with both excitement because I could hear Caspar on the other side of the door, fumbling adorably with the key card.

“Goddammit,” he chuckled to himself, which made a full grin burst onto my lips.

But then I heard a breathy voice follow.

“Cas, hurry… please…”

I froze.

A chill fell over my body as the blood promptly drained from my face, but before I could even think to move or cover up, the lock gave a click and the door flew wide open to present me with an undeniable image.

Caspar’s face attached to the mouth of some girl.

And that girl’s hand shoved down his already-unzipped pants.

My stomach lurched as I felt my eyes light on fire. They stung with tears of betrayal that soon became disgust as she noticed me first.

“Omigodwhatthefuck!” she screeched, ripping away from Caspar and gaping open-mouthed at me.

My wet eyes burned into her. She was a short blonde wearing a band tee and her blue and green-streaked hair in two buns at the side of her head.

Blood roaring in my ears, I stared at her then Caspar, whose eyes were the size of saucers as he gaped at me, visibly trying to think of his next move.

“AJ,” he breathed out in shock.

And as our entire relationship flashed before my eyes, I prayed to God he’d have something better to say than what I sensed was coming.

But he didn’t.

“AJ, it’s not what it looks like,” he blurted.

God.

“So her hand wasn’t wrapped around your dick just now?” I hissed, marching forward and pushing furiously past him as he tried to hold me back.

“Goddammit, AJ, just let me explain—”

I flung his arms off me. “Do it then,” I seethed. Panting hard, I stopped firmly in front of him and stared. “Do it. Right now in one sentence or don’t bother,” I demanded, pausing exactly one-and-a-half seconds.

But all he did was stare in defeat.

So with a curl of the lip, I took off.

“AJ—what the fuck!” Caspar yelled as I furiously chucked my ring behind me.

I had no idea where it went. Didn’t even hear it land. All I heard was my blood roaring louder as I felt Caspar catch my arm, jerking me so hard I burst into tears as I used all my might to shove him the hell off and run.

And before I knew what was happening, I was sprinting down the hall, hugging my robe shut with my cheeks wet and my vision blurry. I could hear Caspar bursting out of the room to come after me, and my pulse spiked as he yelled my name.

But the next thing I knew, I was alone in the elevator and shortly after that, I was pounding on a door.

Adam’s.

Desperately, I called his name, my voice cracking and my heart racing as I rapped my knuckles over and over against the door till I heard his muffled confusion on the other side.

“Jesus, what the hell—”

And when the door finally swung open, I caught the split second of his irritation before he blinked at me in surprise.

“AJ, what…?”

He took one look at me then hauled me into the room, his eyes intense and moving all over my tear-streaked face, searching me for two hard seconds before he glared out at the empty hall and shut the door.

And only once it was shut did I hear the sound of the shower running.

I blinked, suddenly dazed and disoriented.

By Caspar. This moment.

By Adam staring at me as we stood a foot apart in his hotel room, silent besides the sound of the soft pitter-patter coming from the bathroom. His white button-down was undone and as my wet eyes locked on the deep-cut line between his chest, I remembered that he was about to shower. That he had plans to get to.

Fuck.

Suddenly, I regretted this but at the same time I knew I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I was barefoot and crying in a little robe that barely covered my ass, and if that weren’t shitty enough, I had a cheating asshole chasing me down.

So staring at Adam, I mustered up the words to explain myself.

“He was with someone,” I blurted, watching the confused look in Adam’s eyes immediately flicker into something hot. And angry. “He came in kissing some girl,” I went on breathlessly. “I told him to explain and he had nothing, but he wouldn’t let me go, so I ran and now—”

I cut off when Adam’s hot stare dropped to my arm. And when I spotted the flash of rage in his eyes, I looked down myself to see what was there.

Caspar’s angry handprint wrapped around my wrist.

“Adam—don’t!”

I jumped in front of him as he lunged for the door, gasping as I felt the sheer weight of his muscle crashing against my front.

Grabbing hold of what I could, I flew backward, and before I knew what was happening, my face was inches from Adam’s—my body sandwiched between him and the door, and my hands pressed flat against his bare chest.

Holy fuck.

My heart leapt in my throat as I looked up at him.

His jaw ticked as he looked down at me, his blue eyes burning into mine. I’d seen him mad before. When deals fell through. When a rival agency once stole away our client. But even then he didn’t look as completely riled up as he looked now.

And it wasn’t even about work.

It was about me.

There was still fresh chaos swirling in the air, yet this one fact managed to stun me—as did the fact that I was touching my boss’s warm, hard chest. That underneath my fingers, I could feel his heart slamming.

Holy fuck, holy fuck.

What is happening?

My stunned stare stayed fixed on my Adam even as his fell with a fluttering reluctance.

Down the front of my robe.

Shit. Only then did I realize how much it had fallen open in my struggle to keep him in the room.

So he wouldn’t fight my fiancé—no.

My ex-fiancé.

“God, what is happening,” I exhaled, dropping my hands from Adam’s chest and hastily tying my robe shut.

But before I could fully get myself together, I jumped at the sensation of a buzzing at my feet. What the—? I looked down.

My phone. I didn’t even realize when I had dropped it. All I knew was that Caspar’s name and face were glowing on the screen, forcing my mind back to everything that just happened downstairs in his room.

And though I picked up the phone, I didn’t pick up his call. All I did was stand there, feeling my fury flood back as his stupid texts flooded in. One after another then another and another till out of pure irritation, I swiped to look at them.

CASPAR: Pick up the phone.

CASPAR: Let me explain.

CASPAR: AJ we’re adults let’s talk about this

CASPAR: For Christ’s sake don’t be this immature you couldn’t have gone far wearing that.

The last text sent me over, so without thinking, I fired back.

ME: You’re right I didn’t go far. I went to Adam’s room.

The text had barely delivered before he was calling again, and this time, I picked up. But I could barely open my mouth before Caspar hissed at me like the snake he was.

“What, are you going to fuck him, AJ?” he demanded, so livid I could practically hear his spittle hitting the phone.

“And what if I did?” I asked, feeling a twisted sense of satisfaction when I heard the two seconds of Caspar’s sputtering gibberish before he finally made real words.

“AJ... just get the hell back here, alright? I didn’t have sex with Vicky and I swear to God, if you do anything with Adam, it’s over between us!”

“Oh, I promise you, Caspar,” I almost laughed. “It’s already over. But if fucking Adam means you’ll never speak to me again then I’ll go ahead and start getting naked for him now.”

“Goddammit, AJ! Just tell me where the fuck you—”

I hung up.

And as soon as it was silent again, I came back to earth, processing everything I just said… along with the fact that I’d just threatened to fuck my boss in front of my boss.

Oh God.

Eyes wide, I looked back up at Adam.

He was still standing right in front of me, a solemn statue watching me closely

“Sorry,” I said, my voice coming out breathy. “I was just trying to piss him off.”

“Do whatever you have to do,” he murmured. Silence stretched between us for another second before he said, “You know I have your back.”

I nodded, his words somehow assuring me and firing me up at the same time. I was so pissed at Caspar that I imagined something crazy. Something so screwed up I had to blink hard to get the filthy image out of my mind.

God. Okay.

Dial it back, I thought, sucking in a deep breath. You’re just crazy-brained because you’re angry and vengeful. So just breathe. Calm down, I told myself, though I couldn’t seem to do it, and my struggle was evident because Adam murmured, “Tell me what you need right now, AJ.”

“I…”

I need a drink.

I really did. But after taking a few seconds to really breathe, I realized what I needed first and foremost, which was my own fucking room. One without Caspar in it. And I couldn’t get that without my wallet or ID, which meant I needed my purse—which I’d stuffed in the suitcase I’d left at Caspar’s.

“Fuck, I need to get my luggage from his room,” I breathed out, raking my hands through my hair.

“Hey. Easy.” Adam stepped closer, his voice a low, deep rumble. Like a blanket, it draped a calm over my body that didn’t waver even as he touched me, gently pulling my arms down to my sides.

“Tell me the room number and I’ll go get it,” he said.

“I’ll go with you,” I offered. Adam’s jaw ticked.

“You’re barely dressed, AJ,” he said. Hearing him acknowledge the fact in words brought heat to my cheeks, so I only nodded as he said, “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Despite agreeing, I stared blankly for a little longer, so dazed again by everything that Adam brought me over to the bed, sitting me down before going to the mini bar and mixing me a whiskey ginger—what I always drank when I needed to pound a lot of something hard.

I watched as he then grabbed the remote, one-handing the buttons on his shirt as he turned on the TV. His eyebrows pulled together as he quickly scrolled the channels till he found one of my guiltiest pleasures: Catfish.

“There. Now sit here, breathe, and wait for me. Okay?” Adam said, taking my hand and wrapping it around the glass of booze. I nodded.

“Just… don’t hurt him, okay?” I asked with a wince. “Trust me, I fucking hate him and want nothing more than for him to get his ass beat into the ground, but he is absolutely the type to try and sue the shit out of you,” I said, opening the floodgates of my disgust for my ex. “So promise me, Adam… you can say whatever you want to him. Just don’t hit him.”

Sitting at the edge of the bed, I looked up at Adam pleadingly. His jaw noticeably ticked with irritation, but he nodded.

“Fair enough,” he said.

Then with his eyes still on me, he finished buttoning his shirt. But just as I felt a knot form in my throat, he turned around.

And off he went.

5

ADAM

No breaking his fucking jaw, I reminded myself on repeat, dragging my hand across my face as I got down to the third floor.

My brain was working overtime, because I was still furious, still seething over that worthless little shit Caspar, and at the same time, I was trying as hard as I could to erase what I just saw from my head.

But fuck, my brain was holding on hard to that image of AJ.

Her hands on my chest. The way she looked in that lacy fucking lingerie.

It definitely wasn’t the time to look, nor did I have any business looking because for Christ’s sake it was AJ and I wasn’t supposed to look at her like that.

But it was also completely goddamn impossible not to notice her body when she was nearly fucking naked. When her chest was heaving that hard as she looked up at me with those big brown eyes.

Jesus.

I felt every kind of fucked up there was right now, my mind jumping back and forth between the way she looked. How goddamned worthless he was.

He was already out of his league with her. And now this?

My jaw was clenched tight as I approached room three twenty-two. But as I rapped on the door, I gave myself a reminder. Rein in. No killing anyone, I told myself, getting about three knocks in before the door swung open.

Little shit, I thought the second I laid eyes on stupid, man-bunned Caspar who looked pretty fuckin’ shocked to see me. He stared wide-eyed for a second but then as if suddenly remembering his pride, he gnashed his teeth at me.

“Where the fuck is she?” he growled.

“I’m here for her luggage,” I said flatly.

Caspar glared at me full of contempt, huffing and puffing with his scrawny chest before hissing, “No fucking way I give that to you.”

“Suit yourself,” I said, easily pushing past him to get into the room.

“Hey! Hey, you can’t do this!”

Right away, he was sputtering. Indignant to the point of sounding cartoonish. He even threw in an accusation of trespassing before he realized that he was a hundred-fifty pounds soaking wet and helpless to stop me from just walking across the room to get AJ’s suitcase.

So with a sneer on his face, he switched gears.

“You know, I always knew not to trust you,” he said as I did a quick check to ensure that AJ’s purse was inside the suitcase. “But with her… fuck. Should’ve known she wasn’t any different. Or smarter. In the end, every girl spreads her legs for the dumb jock, am I right?” He attempted a laugh when I only glanced up with boredom.

Because I knew what he was doing.

He couldn’t physically stop me from entering the room. Taking the suitcase. So now he was trying to provoke me. To get me to lose my cool.

“You fuck her, asshole?” he asked as I zipped the suitcase and stood back up.

I wore a blank look on my face as I stared back at him for a second.

“No,” I grunted my reply as I headed for the door. But I kept my eye on him, watching his shoulders relax, letting the relief set in before I stopped right next to him. “I didn’t fuck her,” I said, my chin tipped slightly up as I looked down at him. And slowly, as I felt his uneasiness rise, I let a look of satisfaction curl onto my lips. “But I did put my hands all over her,” I said, breaking into a full grin and watching his face go pale as I stroked my chin and laughed. “Shit, I couldn’t help myself. With the way she looked in that lacy thing?” I swiped my thumb across my lip, playing up the dumb jock persona. Just to piss him off. “Christ, Cas. I didn’t know she was hiding that body under there—she’s fuckin’ stacked. Thought she was gonna pop right out of that little lace thing she was wearing,” I said, sucking in a breath between my teeth.

And as the words came out of my mouth, the images flooded back into my brain. Of her body. Her smooth skin.

Her perfect fucking tits.

I felt my blood rushing as I let myself relive what the hell happened upstairs, but through it, I kept a smirk on for Caspar, still paused in front of him, giving him the chance to say something back.

But surprise, surprise. He didn’t.

So with a laugh, I shook my head.

“You fucked up, bro.” I clapped his shoulder hard. “But don’t worry. We won’t let any of that lingerie go to waste,” I said assuringly. “’Cause I’m going to be making her come all night. She won’t even remember your name by morning,” I grinned, tossing him an asshole wink just to put the cherry on top of his shit sundae as I strolled out of the room.

He was still standing there, paralyzed with fury when I left.

And while that thoroughly satisfied me, I didn’t exactly feel relaxed or at ease as I headed back up to my own room, because there were still several things to wrap my head around, starting with whatever it was that had happened between AJ and me at the door.

Or rather, against it.

“For fuck’s sake,” I muttered to myself.

Because I knew what the energy usually felt like between me and AJ. Whether things were normal or we were in crisis. Whether we were having fun or fighting about something. No matter what was happening on any given day, the air between us was never unfamiliar. That was half the comfort of our relationship. We always knew what to expect with each other.

But whatever happened against the door before—that was new. And because it was new, it was chaotic, fucking with my head even as I let myself back into the room and found AJ standing ten feet from the door, staring down at her phone.

And when she looked up at me in surprise, I knew that Caspar had texted her exactly what went down in his room a minute ago.

“You told him we…?”

I brought the suitcase in and stopped at the door. “Yeah,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I mean I’m the one who started it, and I kind of… wanted you to,” she said sheepishly, chewing her lip.

The corners of my mouth curved up a little as I gave something of a laugh. “Then we’re good,” I assured her, hauling her suitcase onto the rack. I was ready to tell her to get in there—to grab her clothes and get changed—but something hanging in the silence told me that she had something to say, so I held off for a moment and when I looked up again, she was still standing there, looking at me.

Biting her lip.

“What did you say to him exactly?”

I clenched my teeth as I looked back at her—as I processed her swollen lips and that glimmer of something in her eye I’d never seen before. Something impulsive. And reckless.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to repeat it, AJ,” I finally said.

“Why not?”

I drew in a deep but silent breath as I just looked at her, saying nothing despite knowing the answer to her simple question of why not.

Because she was in a vulnerable state. Because I’d get hard as a rock if I told her. Because I couldn’t predict what was about to happen next, and while I generally thrived in that kind of situation, it was only because AJ was always in control—always three steps ahead me and ready to rein me in if I got too crazy.

And right now, she wasn’t in the place to do that. She was angry. Emotional. The fact that she was standing comfortably before me in just a silk robe and lingerie was the first sign that something was seriously wrong. The fact that she was also asking me to describe a fake scenario in which I’d put my hands all over her body was confirmation that the situation was entirely fucked.

So with the sternness I was used to getting from her, I doubled down.

“It’s just not, AJ,” I said. “Now come on,” I nodded at her suitcase. “Get dressed and we’ll order some dinner.”

She nodded through the first few words of my sentence but then blinked at me. “Don’t you… have a date tonight?” she asked, but I was already shaking my head.

“Nah. We’re doing room service and Catfish tonight,” I said, grabbing the menu off the table and handing it over to her.

She blinked at me a couple more seconds but then she nodded, taking the menu like it was an assignment. And once we were finished ordering, I gave two knocks on her suitcase on my way to the bathroom.

“Get changed. I’m gonna shower and once I get out, we’re gonna eat and drink and watch the trashiest shit we can find on MTV or Bravo or… fuckin’ HGTV if that’s what you want. How’s that sound?”

I glanced over my shoulder to catch her cracking a half-smile at the edge of the bed, a lock of hair in her face and her robe falling slightly off one shoulder.

“Sounds good,” she said, her voice soft in a way I’d never heard it, and her eyes briefly locked on me with a look I didn’t recognize. But then she turned back down to the menu, and as much as I wanted to linger for some reason, I didn’t. Instead I got into the bathroom and closed the door.

And as I stripped down, I turned the shower to the coldest water there fucking was.

6

AJ

I may or may not have crushed two full Makers and gingers while Adam was in the shower.

But in all fairness, I had every right to.

Aside from the whole Caspar-blowing-up-my-world-by-cheating-on-me thing, I’d had fresh mountains of logistical bullshit to deal with, namely the fact that this hotel—along with every neighboring one in Palm Beach—was fully booked for the weekend thanks to some golfing tournament, and on top of that, I couldn’t even cancel the reservation I’d made for my philandering liar of an ex-fiancé.

Did I expect to be able to kick him him out on his ass tonight? No. Did I fully hope I’d be able to do that for tomorrow and steal his reservation as my own?

Yes. Absolutely.

But apparently, canceling wasn’t allowed without forty-eight hours notice, which meant my ex could still cheat on my dime if he so pleased and I was shit out of luck in terms of a place to stay for tonight or tomorrow.

My third drink was consumed while avoiding eye contact with a freshly-showered Adam as he acted like it was no big deal if I just stayed with him tonight. And that consumption only accelerated as he turned to face the bar, allowing me to drunk-stare at the way the damp cotton of his T-shirt clung to his shoulders, dipping into those muscled lines in his back as he poured himself a drink.

“Considering you’re already hammered, it’s probably best for you to just stay in and try to relax,” he had said to me, to which I’d argued, “I am not hammered,” while stuffing an ambitious handful of fries into my mouth—a famously hammered behavior of mine.

And that was the end of that discussion.

I couldn’t remember if I’d put up much more of a fight about staying or not, but it no longer mattered, because at this point I wasn’t moving. It was well past 10PM and I was tipsy, tired, and very cozily snuggled in the plush sheets of Adam’s king-sized bed while he lay ten feet to my right on the couch in a white V-neck and sweats.

And thanks to the mental fogginess, I kept drifting in and out of realizing—despite how quiet and relaxed we were—that what we were doing right now was absolutely wild.

Because for how close Adam and I were, we had definitely never done this before.

We had never spent non-work-related time together, let alone hung out in pajamas together in his hotel room late at night. We’d also never gone such long stretches without trading barbs or being snarky in some way, and all this would be actively mind-fucking me right now if it weren’t for the fact that my brain was simultaneously exhausted and in a million other places right now.

It was halftime of the Lakers game when I’d turned on my side to grab my phone off the nightstand, but then a whole thirty seconds passed before I actually looked at my phone, because lying on my side, Adam was now directly in my eye line.

And as much as I didn’t want him to be, he was very distracting.

His long body was stretched out with one leg bent and one arm behind his head, and for how relaxed and casual the position was, it really did stupid wonders for showing off his hyper-athletic build.

I was basically forced to look.

With his arm folded behind his head, his bulging bicep was just right in my face and I could see his sculpted lats straining against the soft cotton of his tee—which, annoyingly enough, had ridden up, giving me a slight but very noticeable peek of his very deep-carved hip bone.

This is your boss, I told myself.

When I was this level of drunk and emotionally exhausted, it was all I had in my arsenal in terms of mental pep talks about not checking out certain people. Adam. Boss. Don’t look, I told myself in a caveman voice, which made my stupid drunk ass laugh.

Adam peered over at me. “What?”

I blinked as I averted my eyes to my phone. “Nothing. Just putting Caspar’s number on silent,” I said since it was exactly what I turned over to do in the first place.

Adam had turned back to the TV after his initial question, but now he was looking at me again, his eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “He’s still texting?” he asked.

“Yep,” I said, my bleary eyes skimming the latest message. The hundredth version of “we need to talk about this” with some dig thrown in about my maturity. “God, why the hell does he think this is salvageable?” I muttered.

“Because he’s delusional in every sense of the word.”

“This is true,” I murmured distractedly as I clicked around on my phone, proceeding to look at things I told myself I wouldn’t look at till Adam firmly interrupted.

“AJ. Stop.”

I didn’t look up as I frowned. “Stop what?”

“Facebook-stalking the girl he was with.”

My eyebrows lifted as I paused mid-scroll, peering up to see Adam still watching the game. Damn. He hadn’t even been looking at me while I was doing it. But I wasn’t totally surprised. Sometimes he just had a sense.

“It’s just I recognize her,” I said quietly as I put down my phone. Grabbing a pillow, I hugged it against me. “I mean… pretty hard not to.”

Adam looked over at me. “Why?”

“Because she has green and blue hair.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Does she also shop at Hot Topic?”

I cracked a faint smirk. “Well. She’s definitely young. Still in college,” I said, feeling a twisting in my chest as I remembered when Caspar first introduced me to her in December. His new PA who was in her second year of undergrad at USC. “I remember thinking she was really shy and awkward, but I figured it was just because she was a kid. Not even old enough to drink,” I said with a weak laugh of disbelief as I zoned out at a random spot on the floor.

Uh oh. I could feel a ramble coming on, and though I wasn’t looking at him, I could see Adam’s head still turned to study me closely, as if he sensed I was going into a place.

“And it’s not that I ever imagined Caspar would cheat, but if someone told me I had to, I don’t think I would’ve pictured a college kid with green hair who can’t even make five seconds of eye contact at a time. I just… I never would’ve thought that’d be what he’d want more than me,” I said. But I’d barely finished my sentence before Adam cut in.

“It’s not, AJ,” he said sternly.

And when I lifted my eyes to him, I found him looking at me from the couch like I was a total dumbass, which was fine and actually made me want to laugh, because it felt normal. As much as Adam and I supported each other on a daily basis, we were never outright nice to each other. And if he was going to be this nice to me tonight, I understood that it was probably going to come with some level of taunting and ridicule.

“Let’s just be real here, alright?” he said in his I can’t believe I have to explain this to you voice. “You’re way smarter than that girl. Way more interesting. More sophisticated. You can hold a conversation with Caspar or anyone else in this world for way longer than she can, and I don’t even need to see her to know that you blow her shit out of the water in the looks department,” he said so matter-of-factly that I could barely process the compliment before he was already barreling on.

“Your idiot ex just wants someone who’ll be blindly impressed with him regardless of his achievements. He wants someone who doesn’t know about all his flaws yet. His failures. If he can’t be the person he wishes he was, he wants to at least live the fantasy of it, and that girl he cheated on you with—she still believes that fantasy,” Adam said simply, looking me dead in the eye. “And that’s the only thing she’s got on you, AJ. Naiveté.”

I stared.

Well, shit.

A giant lump formed in my throat as I hugged my pillow tighter to my front. Because apparently, I hadn’t been ready for Adam to give such a surprisingly accurate read on Caspar. Nor had I been ready for him to be this sweet to me tonight.

This protective.

It was silent for several seconds before I finally gathered myself enough to speak again.

“Naiveté’s a big word for you,” I observed softly, to which Adam promptly snorted.

“Alright,” he said, rolling his eyes back to the game and adding something or another about me being a smart ass, which I barely heard because I’d only cracked that joke to deflect from the realizations sweeping over me.

Hindsight really was twenty-twenty, because in retrospect, I could admit that things had been declining between Caspar and me for awhile. That I’d been blinding myself to a lot of things about him that angered me to no end—in particular, his painfully fragile ego, and his constant need to be praised and assured.

“I don’t even know why I stayed for so long,” I said, staring blankly at the game.

“Sunk cost fallacy,” Adam replied. When I looked at him, he explained. “You put all that time and energy into someone, you don’t want to feel like it was for nothing. Especially when you love them. Makes it hard to know when to cut your losses.”

My eyebrows pinched together as I found myself reckoning with the fact that Adam casually nailed it again. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Were you always this smart?” I questioned.

He laughed. “Me? Yeah. Believe it or not, I’m more than just a pretty face.”

I snorted despite the fact that I couldn’t help myself from studying his face when he turned back to watch the game.

Though my eye line was angled toward the TV, my gaze subtly lifted toward Adam, running along his razor sharp jaw, those strong cheekbones and that goddamned dimple that lingered the way it always did when he flashed that deceivingly boyish grin. Fuck that grin, I thought. But then my eyes raked through his thick brown hair, which was fully dry now and tousled in a way that made the corners of my mouth curve up.

Ugh.

It was undeniable that Adam Maxwell was impossibly handsome.

Gorgeous, really.

Which was why it had been awhile, probably years since I’d let myself stare at him like this, and the only reason I was letting myself do it now was because I was drunk, this night was crazy, and as far as I was concerned, nothing I did, said, or thought right now counted. I was still completely rattled, having been tossed into the head bitch of emotional wringers tonight, and when you topped that with whiskey, it was grounds for a mental free-for-all.

So I gave myself a pass. Even went ahead and checked Adam out when he got up ten minutes later to send a work email from his laptop.

As he leaned over the table, I observed the stone-carved straightness of his nose, his finely etched lips, and the annoying perfection of his tan against his white T-shirt—along with every little twitch and flex of his muscled forearms as he quickly typed away.

Ridiculous. Imagine being this effortlessly good-looking, I thought to no one in particular.

Well. Maybe to Georgia.

It was at that point I decided it was time to text my best friend about all that had happened tonight, because the sooner she knew about Caspar, the sooner I could tell her about Adam—in particular, that moment we had by the door.

Along with the whole impromptu sleepover situation that was going on right now.

And the fact that I was currently willing myself not to stare at his package under those sweats.

“Oop—fuck,” I cursed as I knocked my purse onto the floor while trying to grab my phone. Serves you right for not looking where you’re reaching since you’re too busy staring at forbidden boss dick, I scolded myself just as Adam looked up from his laptop and snorted at my purse on the floor.

“Seems like more than you’d need for a weekend,” he remarked as I pulled myself over the side of the bed to grab my toppled purse, which had ejected a comically long strip of condoms on its way to the ground.

“Yeah, probably,” I laughed, because it had clearly been wishful thinking that compelled me to pack three dozen rubbers for less than forty-eight hours with Caspar. “I guess I can admit now that he was shit in bed,” I snorted as I put my purse back onto the nightstand and snuggled back into the covers.

Adam laughed. “I mean I always knew that, but I’m glad you finally got to get it off your chest.”

“Shut up, you did not always know that,” I retorted. But Adam said nothing in response, only wearing a self-satisfied smirk as he shut his laptop—which was a specific type of Adam smugness that meant he was telling the truth. I squinted at him. “How?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I know what women look like when they’ve been thoroughly fucked,” he said as he ambled over to the bar.

“What wrong way would I take that?”

“I have no idea. I was just putting some kind of preface on the statement since we don’t usually talk about this shit, and I don’t know how weird you’re going to be about it,” he said, lobbing a water bottle onto the bed. “Drink that.”

I scoffed. “I’m not going to be weird. We talk plenty about your overactive sex life,” I said as I uncapped the bottle and took a swig.

“We talk plenty about the women I go on dates with. Not how good I am in bed and how good you haven’t had it for years.”

I paused, something about that sentence bringing heat to my cheeks.

“Okay. Fair,” I relented, clearing my throat. “So, fine—you know what women look like when they’ve been thoroughly fucked. And you’re saying in the five years you’ve known me, I’ve never once looked that way to you?”

Adam wore a dubious look as he leaned against the bar. “You really want me to answer that?”

“Yes,” I said. And for the next two-and-a-half seconds, I did my best to withstand the pressure of his gaze as he tried to decide if I could in fact handle the truth. For some reason, it was making my pulse pick up.

But then with a smirk and swig of his water, Adam finally spoke.

“I saw you look like that once. But not because of Caspar.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ace Hotel in Chicago. Two years ago.”

I paused. Then my eyes went wide.

Oh, shit.

That was all he had to say for me to know exactly what he was talking about, because that had in fact been a particularly stellar orgasm thanks to the two-hundred-dollar vibrator I’d bought on that business trip. My cheeks heated up as I ignored the look of sheer entertainment on Adam’s face.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I answered the door a good twenty minutes after I… finished. So I’m really not sure how you could’ve known.”

“Like I said, I just know what it looks like.”

“Of course. Because you’re the king of orgasms and every woman you’ve ever slept with has woken up all fresh-faced and glowing.”

“You’re mocking me right now, but you know it’s true.”

“Only because you’ve subjected me to being in the hotel room right next to yours for the past five years. I swear to God there were times the moaning was so dramatic I thought you were blasting porn.”

“Nah. I don’t even watch porn.”

“Yeah, right,” I laughed. But when I looked at him, I could tell he was being serious. “Shut up,” I said. “You don’t watch porn, Adam? I don’t believe you.”

He only smiled at me. “You don’t have to.”

“Okay. So basically, you’re saying you never…” I trailed off, suddenly realizing exactly what I was asking a man who was very much my boss.

Adam cocked an eyebrow. “Never what?”

I wrung my hands behind my pillow as I tried to figure out my phrasing. “Never… take care of yourself,” I finally said.

He eyed me with amusement. “You’re asking if I ever jerk off?”

My stomach clenched.

God, was I? Was I really asking my boss if he masturbated? How did this conversation even get here?

My toes curled under the sheets as I forced myself not to bite my lip. “Yes. That,” I confirmed, to which he smirked.

“I do.” He held his glinting gaze on me as he took another long pull of water. “I just use my imagination.”

I nodded.

“Huh,” I said, making some vague sound of acknowledgment to play off the sudden pulsing between my legs—and the fact that my boss was literally watching me right now as I thought about him jerking off.

Dear God, stop, stop, stop, I chanted in my head, but my insides clenched without mercy as my traitor brain flashed with images of twitching forearms and nine-inch dicks.

Adam laughed. “You good?” he asked.

I was legitimately burning up inside, but despite the internal chaos, I narrowed my eyes at him. “Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?”

He was still leaning there casually in those goddamned sweats, that dimple showing as he capped his empty bottle and tossed it in the bin. He let the silence stretch another tormenting few seconds before he finally answered. “No reason,” he said before pushing off the bar and going to the bathroom.

Only once I heard the electric whir of his toothbrush going did I finally exhale.

Because we both knew he was lying.

He knew well that my mind had just gone deep in the gutter—that I had just been picturing him in ways that were so beyond inappropriate for our relationship that I was literally staring at the ceiling mouthing what the fuck because I needed someone, something to react to.

Unsurprisingly, the ceiling did not suffice.

So with a groan, I yanked the covers over my head and burrowed myself deep into the sheets. I was never one to go to bed without getting ready, but clearly, tonight was the night for all the firsts.

Brushing my teeth be damned. It was time to sleep all this away.

7

ADAM

I had to give myself props this morning despite the fact that this wasn’t exactly a surprise.

I was accustomed to crushing presentations.

Regardless of circumstance.

It didn’t matter how foreign the territory, how early the meeting, or how annoyingly cold and unwelcoming the client—like the one sitting in front of me at this table.

Sean Knox. Twenty-nine. Right-handed pitcher with a cutter you couldn’t hit if he told you it was coming. He was an incredibly talented athlete with a nightmare reputation and just about no other agencies pursuing him, thanks to the whole nightmare reputation thing. But I’d had my eye on the kid for awhile now. Three years to be exact, which was why I’d been preparing for this meeting since the day he dropped his agent last month.

That agent, of course, had been his unqualified friend from back home whom he’d hired because he was famously untrusting of authority and the so-called “suits.” Which put my chances on the slim side.

But I didn’t give a shit.

I was hell-bent on landing this prickly motherfucker and that started with crushing this goddamned meeting in spite of multiple obstacles, the first being that Knox had moved the start time up three hours on short notice.

The second being that I was coming off one serious mindfuck of an unexpected night.

One that ended with me adjusting my fully hard dick under my sweats just ten feet from where my assistant lay asleep.

Or fake-asleep.

Whatever it was she was doing.

I’d come out of the bathroom last night to see AJ completely hidden in the sheets, wrapped like a cocoon with only a few locks of dark hair peeking out from under the comforter. But her feet were still moving here and there and I could hear her breathing patterns, which weren’t the actually-asleep breathing patterns I knew well from basically a thousand flights and layovers in which she’d dozed off right next to me.

If I had to guess, she was awake for at least twenty minutes after I got out of the bathroom last night, and as annoying as I found it when she pretended to be passed out—which was often, given how often I emailed her past work hours—I was half-grateful she’d pulled that stunt on me last night.

Because talking to her about jerking off wasn’t exactly a breeze for me either.

Especially not when her eyes got all big like that. Her cheeks all pink.

I’d witnessed a lot of AJ’s expressions—in fact, I was sure I knew them all. But I was clearly wrong, because I’d never seen that look from last night. Just that second of reluctant lip biting had been enough to make my dick stir, but then she started squirming under those sheets. It was subtle, but it was just enough for me to notice.

And just enough to have me willing down a hard-on for the rest of the night. Though needless to say, my dick won that battle.

Thankfully, of course, that was doing nothing to hinder my performance today.

“Well, in case it didn’t come across, I have to say we’re certainly impressed with everything you put together today.”

The grinning praise came from Ben, Knox’s older brother and one of three men in the team of advisers who were clearly pushing him to hire a real damned agent already. They had both spoken on his behalf all meeting while Knox grunted here and there with a disinterest that remained even now at the end of the presentation—which was fine.

Because if we’d swayed the brother, we’d won half the battle.

“Adam. We’ll be in touch soon,” Ben said as we all got up from our seats in the rented conference room and did the obligatory round of handshakes and goodbyes.

And before long, the room was cleared out. Our financial advisor Craig was still lingering out side the door with Ben, but aside from them, it was just me and AJ as we gathered the files off the table.

Shamelessly, I watched her as I did this.

She was wearing what she had on by the time I got back from the hotel gym this morning: a navy blazer and pants with a white shirt buttoned nearly to the collar—her way of warding off unnecessary attention at the office.

It usually worked.

Of course, it wasn’t doing shit on me today, since my brain was back to thinking about what I hadn’t let myself think of last night—her palms pulsing on my chest. Her full, fucking perfect tits barely contained in that paper-thin lingerie.

Christ.

I’d successfully forced the image away for most of last night while we were watching TV, and though it had come briefly back in the bathroom—after I witnessed the closest thing to a fuck-me face as I’d ever seen on AJ—I had ultimately kept the thought of her knockout curves wrangled, because there was something entirely too fucked about getting hard off the thought of your half-naked assistant while she slept innocently in the same room.

But we were both fully conscious now, so I let myself have it, running my eyes over her and trying not to smirk because while she’d had her game face on throughout the meeting—staying doggedly on top of the discussion, anticipating Knox’s questions and flipping to the exact page of research for my every point, just in case I needed backup—I could see now that it had all been her trusty poker face.

Because with the room about empty now, she was already breathing faster. I could see it in the rise and fall of her chest. She looked completely worked up, and given it could’ve been one of a handful of things bothering her, I broke the silence by asking, “What’s on your mind right now?”

She glanced at me before swiping the last few printouts off the table. “Being petty,” she finally said without looking up.

I raised my eyebrows, studying her for a second before dropping my gaze to her phone, which was actively lighting up with new texts. I didn’t need to look too hard to know who they were from.

“What’s he been saying?” I asked.

AJ

ONCE UPON A TIME, I had actual nightmares about my boss being able to read my personal texts.

And yet now here I was, voluntarily handing Adam my phone, giving him a VIP, first-look tour of my shitshow personal life, all because I simply couldn’t think anymore.

Last night had been, in a massive understatement, fucking wild. My fiancé cheated, my boss nearly beat the shit out of him for me, and then said boss and I had an increasingly inappropriate sleepover that started with whiskey and ended with me asking about his masturbation habits—and then getting very openly flustered by his answer.

I genuinely could not imagine the monumental levels of awkwardness that awaited me in the morning. But then I awoke at 7AM to an empty room and an email from Knox.

Can’t do noon. Let’s do 9 or reschedule.

Shortly after, Adam rushed back from the gym looking pissed. “You see the email?” he demanded. “I’m letting everyone know,” I said, on the phone.

And then we were off.

I made a round of calls while he showered and just like that, we were too busy to think about the night before. It was a miracle. An actual godsend of a dick move from Knox, and it had me thinking this day might just go by drama-free.

But then came Caspar.

Deciding to blow up my work phone mid-meeting, with what I’d thought might finally be reflective, remorseful texts, but nope.

They were completely unhinged.

CASPAR: Tell me what you did with him

CASPAR: I know you fucked him. Just admit you always wanted to

CASPAR: I should state for the record that I did fuck Vicky

CASPAR: Twice last night and once this morning.

CASPAR: Depending on what floor you’re on you might’ve heard

It didn’t even stop there.

He went on to detail how I could have prevented this. How he’d only slept with Vicky after I chucked his engagement ring. How Adam probably couldn’t even make me come. That he probably just pounded women like sex toys.

Yep.

Super charming.

In a weird way though, I was almost grateful for the texts, because they were so revolting that they fast-tracked me to about the ninety percent mark of getting the hell over this jackass.

The downside, however, was the fact that they had me so fucking pissed that I was thinking of all the filthy, sweaty sexual acts I could tell him I did with Adam. He was harassing me for the info, so why not?

Well.

Because you didn’t actually sleep with Adam, you will never sleep with Adam and thinking about this is the last thing you need after getting kind-of-almost turned on by Adam last night.

Not that that counted, I reminded myself, feeling my neck getting warm as I watched Adam read the texts from my phone.

His brow was furrowed as he stroked his thumb across his bottom lip, drawing my eyes to all the places they didn’t need to be right now. His mouth. His long fingers. Those thick goddamned forearms that brought me right back to last night’s dirty thoughts.

Okay—easy, perv, I warned myself, trying to remind myself that I was angry right now, not horny.

My nose crinkled. Unless there’s a fine line. Is there?

Potentially valid question but I didn’t ponder the answer for long because Adam finally got to the part about how he probably “pounds girls like sexy toys.”

“For Christ’s sake,” he exhaled a laugh that I could only describe as amused disgust. Then he handed back my phone, his blue gaze locking on me with a look of intrigue. “So are you going to respond?” he asked.

“I mean…” I swallowed, my eyes on my phone as his eyes remained on me.

And just like that, I was asking myself how the hell I survived five years of standing this close to Adam, being the recipient of his scrutinizing gaze. He was so damned casual, his hands slid in his pockets and his head tilted just so as he watched me with interest. Meanwhile, I could think of nothing but the fact that I was standing barely a foot away from him, my eye line right at his chest, forcing me to look up at him from under my lashes.

“I definitely want to respond,” I finally answered, my bones feeling every millisecond of silence between us as Adam’s lips turned slightly up at the edges.

“With what?” he asked.

Ugh. It was an innocuous-sounding question, but it made the conversation feel suddenly like we were talking dirty to each other. So I tried to play it off with a shrug.

“I don’t know. Probably just the obvious.”

“Which is?” Adam asked, making me narrow my eyes.

“You’re really going to make me say it?”

“Apparently.”

“Well, for starters, do you pound women like sex toys?”

He smirked. “Only when they want me to.”

My tongue was running along the bottom of my teeth before I knew it. Oh my God, stop that. Put your tongue away, I scolded myself, but it was clearly too late because there was something different in Adam’s crooked little smile now as he watched me. Something… flirtatious?

For fuck’s sake, are we flirting?

I’d barely asked myself the question before I was putting on my poker face, forcing myself to sound as un-sexual as possible as I lowered my voice and said, “I’m just going to tell him that you… did make me come.”

The back of my neck felt like it was on fire as Adam’s curious eyes taunted me. “That’s it?”

I shot him with a look of mock irritation. “Hard—okay?” I added. “Harder than I ever have in my life.”

He nodded with satisfaction before adding, “Twice.”

My eyebrows went up. “Oh, really?”

“Gotta make it realistic,” he smiled just as Craig poked his head back in the room.

“Adam, quick question.”

“I’ll be right there,” he said without taking his eyes off of me.

God. I just wanted to chew the living hell out of my lip, but I suppressed the urge and gave him a little eye roll instead. “Right. Well, while I’m at it, I’ll go ahead and tell him you got the job done in twenty seconds flat.”

“You can if you want. It’s happened before.”

I burst out laughing. “Okay, look, I can believe your nine-inch, no-porn claims if I really have to,” I said with my voice lowered to a murmur as I gave a quick glance toward the door. “But what I can’t believe is that you’ve made a girl orgasm in a matter of twenty seconds. That’s literally impossible.”

“I understand how it would feel that way when you’ve dated a guy like Caspar for five years.”

“You’re a dick.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“And speaking of dicks, you’d get about twelve thrusts in with twenty seconds.”

“You have no idea how many I’d get in with twenty seconds,” Adam countered, looking thoroughly entertained as he held his gaze on me. “But for the record, it wasn’t my dick I was using that time,” he said, lingering to watch my taunting smile promptly falter as I processed his words. Then with a chuckle to himself, he ambled off to meet Craig in the hall.

Leaving me standing alone in the conference room, tingling all over and wondering with hot reluctance what he’d used.

His hands or his mouth.

According to my imagination, it was his mouth.

“Fuck,” I whispered harshly, squeezing my eyes shut for a second and opening them to find that Adam had caught my little moment from the door. Crap, I thought, our eyes locked as he broke into a little laugh before returning swiftly to whatever he was saying to Craig.

Okay.

So this is definitely flirting, I concluded, completely disturbed but also vaguely fascinated, because how the hell did this happen? For five years, there had been literally nothing between us. We were practically brother and sister. But suddenly here I was, staring in disbelief at my phone as I held off on texting Caspar about my pretend fuckfest with Adam.

Because it wasn’t to spare Caspar’s feelings.

It was to control my own.

I had denied it since last night, knowing that nothing I felt after all that chaos could be remotely trusted. But clearly, I wasn’t out of the woods today.

Because according to every fiber of my aching hot body, I wanted to fuck my boss.

Which was bad. Very bad.

This weekend was madness, yes, but anything I did this weekend would still have very real consequences on Monday. The kind that would affect the career I’d been busting my ass for since college, and any chance of respect I’d ever have in my industry.

Reminder: this isn’t even real, I told myself.

Yes, Adam Maxwell was objectively hot as sin, but I’d also spent an entire week hyping myself up for a night of wild, sweaty, all-night-long sex. I’d done my hair. Bought new lingerie. Got a frickin’ Brazilian. I’d gotten myself all worked up for absolutely nothing to happen—and then I found myself wearing lingerie in front of Adam.

Who definitely did notice my efforts.

So of course I had a case of misplaced horniness.

If it wasn’t an official medical term, it needed to be, because that was exactly my problem right now. To a tee. I had so much sexual energy pent up inside me and to make it worse, I was sharing a damned hotel room with Adam. To make it doubly worse, my ex was still wreaking havoc on my emotions, which meant I had no idea what exactly was going on in my head right now, but if there was any one thing I did know, it was this:

Under no circumstances would I be sleeping in the same room as Adam tonight.

I just wouldn’t.

Because for a million and one reasons, I couldn’t let whatever craziness I was feeling right now get any bigger. I couldn’t risk another night like last night.

And I most definitely could not fuck my boss.

No. Never.

Just not gonna happen.

8

ADAM

My history of arguing with AJ was a storied one.

We essentially bickered for sport, going back and forth often, over things we cared passionately about and things we didn’t care about at all. The topic of discussion was never actually the point. The point was just to win, so I blamed this mildly screwed-up aspect of our relationship for what I couldn’t stop thinking about right now, which was proving her wrong.

Specifically by draping her legs over my shoulders and making her come in twenty seconds flat.

“Christ, Adam. Stop,” Iain said, prompting me to blink hard and frown defensively, trying immediately to act like I didn’t completely forget I had him on the phone.

“Stop what?”

“Thinking about fucking her.”

“What makes you think I was—”

“You muttered ‘fuck’ under your breath in a way that was half-groan and frankly very disturbing for me to listen to,” Iain said, making me break into a shit-eating grin as the car pulled onto the highway. “Also I asked you a question about ten seconds ago and you still haven’t answered it.”

“Sorry. I was thinking about fucking her.”

“I know.”

“In my defense, it’s only because we’re pretending explicitly like I fucked her,” I said as Iain made a vaguely dubious sound. “But anyway, what’s your question?”

“Where is she right now?”

“The hotel. She headed back way before me while I hung back to talk to Craig.”

“Do you know what her plans are for the night?”

“Well, she’s probably getting ready right now.”

“For what?”

“The fundraiser.”

Iain paused. “You mean Engelman’s big ass party that your whole company gets hammered at every year?”

I laughed, feeling like this was a trap. “Yeah. Why?”

“Nothing,” Iain said wryly. “Just sounds like a perfectly safe environment for you and AJ, given everything you just told me about last night.”

I grimaced as I reclined in the backseat of the car. “Yeah, speaking of all that shit, don’t tell Holland, alright?”

“Asshole—how about you don’t do this to me since you know I can’t keep things from her.”

“To be fair, this isn’t necessarily a ‘thing.’ It’s a fluke that I’ll get over, so there’s no sense in worrying Holland when I can assure you I’m not going to do anything to jeopardize my work relationship with AJ.”

“Yeah,” Iain said flatly, with that tinge of disinterest he employed whenever he wanted to convey that he did not in fact believe me. I snorted.

“Look, no need to guilt me like I’m one of your clients. I’m not going to do anything to screw things up. I’m well aware of what AJ’s done for my life,” I said, though I knew I sounded somewhat like a surly kid, because I kind of hated this topic.

Not because I wasn’t grateful for AJ, but because I hated thinking about how non-existent my relationship with Holland was before AJ came along.

“Alright, I’m going to choose to believe you then,” Iain relented. “But for your sake, I hope she wears something as ill-fitting and unattractive as possible tonight.”

I laughed at the remark, but by the time I got back to the hotel, I was thinking about it again—mostly because I was realizing that AJ hadn’t originally planned to attend Engelman’s fundraiser tonight. She had expected to be with Caspar, so in all likelihood, she hadn’t packed anything to wear to this party.

I wasn’t exactly sure what this realization meant, but it definitely had me walking a little faster down the hall as I approached the door of my room.

When I got in, my eyes went straight toward the closed door of the bathroom. I closed the door slowly as I called, “Hey.”

I heard the distinct rustle of makeup brushes before she called back.

“Hey! Do you need the bathroom? I’m done in here.”

I eyed her open suitcase as I set my things down. “Take your time,” I said, drifting over to the bar to grab some water. “All I really need to do is—”

My sentence cut off as the bathroom door swung open, and wherever the rest of my words fucked off to I couldn’t say.

Because all I could do was stare.

Fuck. Me.

Whatever she was wearing, it was black, sleeveless, and wrapped so tight around her body I couldn’t blink if I tried. Her long, dark hair was down and gathered over her shoulder to show off the curve of her neck as she fastened her bracelet, and when she looked up at me, my pulse picked up at the sight of her smoky eye makeup. Her creamy lipstick.

One look at those lips and my blood went hot. Some lonely corner of my brain was telling me to relax, but it was way too late.

“Jesus fuck, AJ. What the hell are you doing?”

AJ

IT WAS pointless to act dumb, but I did it anyway.

“What?” I asked with convincing nonchalance. Impressive, considering the way Adam was raking his stare all over me right now, leaving a trail of heat over every inch of my bare skin he dragged his eyes across.

“You’re going to act like this is how you normally dress for a work function?” he asked as I walked out of the bathroom.

“Well, obviously not, but I didn’t initially plan on going to this party and all I packed were date-night dresses and lingerie,” I said, fastening the backs of my earrings. “So it was between this and the slutty maid costume, and for some reason I just thought this would be a little more appropriate.”

Adam’s eyebrows were still deeply knit as he looked at me, but I could see the reluctant interest twinkle in his eyes till he cracked a grin. “You have a slutty maid costume?”

I smirked. “Just pretend you didn’t hear that part.”

“Might take a minute.”

I rolled my eyes as I headed to the table, one hand braced on the table as I leaned over to ease myself into my heels—which was, unsurprisingly, kind of difficult with the heat of Adam’s unabashed stare on my backside.

Things still felt grey this morning, but it was like we just went from zero to sixty. Boundaries: Annihilated.

“Are you really checking me out that blatantly right now?” I finally called him out. But he didn’t exactly back down.

“Pretty hard not to when you’re bending over in a dress that looks like it’s going to explode off your body like a fucking rubber band.”

“Oh, and you’re slut shaming my outfit now?” Standing up straight again, I cocked an eyebrow at Adam, feeling a strange little thrill course through my veins when I caught the single tic in his jaw.

“Trust me. I’m a fan of the outfit,” he said tightly. “But it’s telling me something’s going on with you right now, because you normally want the opposite of this.”

“‘This’ being what?” I asked.

“Eyes,” he said, annoyed. “On you. Particularly at work. ‘I don’t wan’t to give them anything to talk about.’ That’s been your line for years.”

“Well, like I said, this is all I’ve got,” I said, my heels click-clacking as I went back to the bathroom to grab my lipstick. “And I figure if I’m wearing it, I might as well make it look good,” I shrugged, grabbing my clutch off the TV stand and not even having to look at Adam to know he didn’t buy it. We both knew that he didn’t, but we were going to leave it at that.

At least I thought we were.

But as I opened up my clutch to drop my lipstick inside, Adam stopped me.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up.”

My eyes fluttered wide as he came bounding toward me in three long strides. “What?” I asked, stunned as I closed my clutch—but it wasn’t quick enough, apparently, because Adam hit me with a don’t bullshit me look.

“Open it back up,” he said.

And for the next five seconds, we stared at each other, engaged in a heated standoff that ended with me heaving a sigh and just opening my damned clutch, which contained exactly three things. My phone and credit cards, my lipstick.

And my toothbrush.

Adam looked at me, incredulous.

“You expect to be sleeping somewhere else tonight?” he questioned.

My mouth parted a few times before I settled on my reply. “I figured just in case,” I said with a nonchalance that clearly didn’t work this time, because Adam stared at me, his blue eyes searching me with unveiled irritation.

“What the hell is going on right now, AJ?” he asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re not acting like yourself.”

I forced a laugh. “Is that surprising? I mean I did have a bit of a life-altering day yesterday.”

“Well, should we talk about that?”

“Why would we?”

“Because you’re being rash for once,” he said heatedly. “You’re making decisions you wouldn’t normally make. And I don’t know if I’m supposed to be worried.”

He stood close to me now, his stare on me intense, relentless. Threatening to break me. But I refused to let it, so tipping my chin up, I met his eyes with confidence. “How did I do at the presentation today?” I asked.

“Good. Why are we talking about this?” he answered straightaway.

I stood up as straight as I could. “Because if I did fine there, Adam, that’s all you need to worry about. As long as I’m showing up to work on time and doing my job well, you shouldn’t have anything to say. Right?”

I’d verbally trapped him. We were technically just boss and assistant and as tight as we were, we’d never actually referred to each other as friends. According to the unspoken rules of our very-close-but-only-because-of-work relationship, that would be weird.

That was at least how I felt about it.

And I suspected Adam felt the same, because with a single clench of his jaw, he stepped back.

“Guess so,” he finally said.

And though he sounded mostly like he meant it, his eyes said something else entirely. They were hard, steely. They took several moments to move away from me and hours later, the intensity of that stare still burned in my mind, making my breath feel suddenly short, and my dress suddenly too tight.

Annoying, but I told myself it was good motivation, because that was the whole point of tonight—shifting my focus to someone else.

And getting Adam Maxwell the hell out of my head.

9

ADAM

“Bro… did I do this? Maxwell. I swear to God, I made this happen.”

For fuck’s sake.

My jaw tightened as I ignored Josh MacMillan while standing in the middle of the crowded ball room, taking a bigger than usual drink of my whiskey because, well, Josh was unfortunately pretty hard to ignore.

Especially when he wouldn’t stop running his mouth about AJ.

“I mean come on. I was just noticing how hot she looked and then I asked you about her stupid fiancé. Didn’t I? And then boom. They’re over. After five fucking years.” Josh gave a hearty laugh to the skies, like the gods of dirty rebound sex had just smiled upon him. “Bro. How does that even happen?”

Dragging my palm across my jaw, I looked at him then at Keith, the head of the music division whom I’d been talking to before Josh came loping over like an idiot. I took another drink before peering over at Keith.

“Sorry,” I muttered, to which he laughed.

“Hey, I was like that once. I’ll let you young guys talk,” he said before excusing himself and leaving me alone with Josh and his cartoonishly blatant ogling of AJ from well across the room. He palmed his hand over his head as he stared at her.

“Goddamn, I just hope that isn’t a padded bra.”

My jaw clenched. It’s not, I thought as I reluctantly brought my eyes to her.

She was standing by the arched doors that led to the courtyard, looking like a fucking bombshell as she smiled wide, talking to Liza and some others from the office that I didn’t know. Christ, AJ. Don’t do that, I willed her as she leaned over to murmur in Liza’s ear, drawing both Josh and my eyes to the dip of her lower back—the way it curved into a round ass I couldn’t believe I hadn’t spent the past five years staring at. What the hell had I been doing with my time?

Probably working, I thought to myself wryly as Josh snorted.

“Look at those fucking clowns,” he said as a few guys—other assistants—inched closer to AJ and her friends, lingering around. Clearly waiting to cut in.

I couldn’t blame them.

It was why I’d avoided her since we got here. I knew well I could spend my entire night fixating on her. On how good she looked. Who she was talking to and who was looking at her. I knew it only took one glance in her direction to break the seal.

And now that it was effectively broken, I couldn’t stop watching her, staring hard the way I did when I wanted her to look up at me from across a crowded room.

It took another few seconds, but she then did exactly that.

“Oh, shit,” Josh said before giving a big grin and a wave. AJ paused, giving that slow, close-lipped, what’s going on smile as she waved back. “Goddamn,” Josh groaned through his smile. “See that little jiggle when she waved?”

I scowled, knowing well that he was talking about her tits. Whether or not I wanted to admit it, I’d been looking too.

“That’s it. No matter what happens tonight, I gotta smash.”

I managed a bored nod despite the increasingly hot irritation crawling through my veins. “Cool. I need another drink,” I said. And with a tightly-clenched jaw—along with a nod toward the bar when AJ caught my eye again—I excused myself.

AJ

I HAD BEEN SUMMONED.

I’d sensed it coming from well across the room, so as soon as my gaze locked again on Adam’s, I headed for the bar, giving an obligatory eye roll to Liza as I said, “The boss needs something.”

That was usually the case at these parties, and it was usually some work-related task, like getting intel from a fellow assistant or helping him eavesdrop on one of the partners.

But I had a hunch that wasn’t what this was about tonight.

“So.” Approaching the bar, I arched an eyebrow at Adam as he nodded his thanks at the bartender. “Any reason you and Josh MacMillan were staring me down?”

Adam eyed me over the edge of his glass as he took a drink. “There’s a reason he was. He wants to fuck you.”

My eyebrows flew up. “Really. And what makes you say that?”

“I don’t know. Just the fact that he told me explicitly.”

“Huh.” I blinked in surprise as I leaned one elbow on the bar and eyed Josh from across the room. He was talking to the Melissas from marketing, a pair of bubbly BFFs who talked openly about their “giant boner” for Josh.

And now that I was single, I could see it. He was a bit of a bro, but at least that gym addiction meant he was pretty built. He wasn’t Adam-level ripped, nor did he look as powerfully good in a black suit as Adam did right this very second, but I very clearly needed to stop noticing Adam, so maybe Josh was the key.

He certainly wasn’t anyone to kick out of bed.

From the corner of my vision, I could see Adam watching me.

“What, are you interested?” he asked with open disbelief.

I laughed. “Well he technically doesn’t work at Engelman and he’s pretty objectively hot.”

“He calls everyone ‘broski’ and refers to himself in third person. As J-Mac, no less.”

“Well, thankfully this is an area where personality isn’t exactly the deciding factor.”

“No? Then what is?”

I squinted as I studied Josh a little harder. “Hmm. Well, a strong upper body is important but I think the deciding factor is the glutes.”

Adam coughed on his drink. “Come again?”

“The gluteal muscles.”

“Yeah, I know what glutes are, but why are we talking about them?”

“You asked what the deciding factor was in choosing a partner for a one-night stand and I say it’s a nice sculpted ass.”

“Holy shit, I hate this conversation.”

“Because your thrusting game isn’t going to be strong if you don’t have strong glutes,” I explained. “Also you asked for this conversation so don’t cry about it now.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t aware at the time that it would lead to a discussion about Josh MacMillan’s ass.”

“His very sculpted ass.”

“Christ.” Adam winced hard. He let a couple seconds pass as he took a drink, but then he muttered, “Mine is better anyway.”

I burst out laughing. “Really.”

“Yeah. We don’t have to pretend you haven’t noticed.”

I squinted. Umm. Okay. If there was one part of Adam Maxwell’s body that I did let myself check out from time to time, it was definitely his ass. So yes, that was true. But... “How do you know that I’ve noticed?” I asked.

“Reflective windows at the office.”

I raised my eyebrows way up. Oh.

“Damn.” I gave a genuine laugh as I thought of all those times I followed him into the conference room and totally looked. “Well, there goes my cover,” I said, making him laugh too, and for a second it felt like our usual joking around. Like we weren’t talking about how I did sometimes check him out.

It was weird. It felt half-normal, half-crazy. Like we were toeing the lines of safety. Was this flirting? Was it not? I had no idea but I didn’t ponder it for long, because suddenly, Josh was approaching us at the bar.

“AJ. Gorgeous,” he said, holding his arms out grandly. “I’d give my condolences over your idiot ex, but you look like you’re doing more than fine.”

I laughed, almost solely because I knew how much he annoyed Adam. “Thank you, Josh,” I said, managing a smile as he touched my hip and started to extol the beauty of breakups. Between nods of feigned interest, I eyed Adam, who didn’t bother disguising the way he was shaking his head through all of Josh’s pet names for me as he spoke. Sweetheart. Angel. He really was such a douche, but I couldn’t help being amused by it as Adam leaned against the bar, looking like he wanted to blow his brains out.

“Know what I say? Forget that loser. Okay? How long were you with him again?” Josh asked, his questions like rapid fire.

“Almost six years,” I replied with suppressed laughter as I eyed Adam, who mouthed Jesus Christ.

“Six years. AJ. You must be ready for a real man. I mean look at you. I know you’re ready.”

He continued talking a mile a minute till he was briefly pulled away, at which point Adam turned to me.

“Yeah, there is no way in hell you’re going home with that clown,” he said.

“Weird, I missed the part where it was your decision.”

“AJ. For Christ’s sake, he’s not going to be quiet about it, and the last thing you want is someone with ties to the office talking about what you were like in bed.”

I tipped my chin up. “Fine. I won’t have sex with Josh MacMillan,” I said, waiting till Adam’s tense shoulders relaxed before I added, “I’ll just find someone with no ties to the agency.” He groaned. “Or I’ll just go to a bar after this and pick some lucky guy.”

“You’re going to go home to some stranger’s place tonight?” Adam laughed. “No the fuck you’re not.”

“Sorry, boss, that’s actually not your call. And I’ve already made the decision, so.”

He stared at me, more serious now. “Remind me why you need this so badly?” he asked, looking at me like I was so out of my mind that I couldn’t help but take offense.

“Oh, I don’t know, Adam. Probably because I spent over three hundred dollars on lingerie and an entire week getting primped and preened and waxed so I would feel like walking sex for my fiancé, but he didn’t end up fucking me, because he was too busy fucking someone else, so on top of the fact that I was left completely high and dry, I’m dealing with a bit of an emotional shitstorm, I’ve got a lot of post-breakup logistics to deal with once I get back to LA, and all I want right now is to blow off this steam with a really, really good orgasm.” I was breathless, hot all over by the time I finished my rant, and it didn’t help that Adam had his gaze locked so fucking tightly on me, penetrating me in a way that made me feel as naked as I wished I could be right now. “Long story short, I’m feeling pent up in a way I don’t think you would ever understand,” I said, my ears tingling hot as I tossed back the last of my champagne.

Adam didn’t take his eyes off me, but he took his time responding. “And what makes you say that?” he asked once I was done with my drink.

“Oh, just the fact that you have a full roster of eager fuck buddies in every city,” I replied, my tipsy gaze fluttering down to his broad shoulders in that black suit, and that white shirt so perfectly fitted against his hard chest. “I can’t imagine that you’ve been sexually frustrated anytime in recent memory,” I said, bringing my eyes back up to find his gaze heavy on me.

“I think you’d be surprised,” he said, his voice suddenly husky, prickling over my skin. “Believe it or not, the past twenty-four hours haven’t exactly been a cakewalk for me.”

A shiver darted up my spine as I swallowed. “Because my Caspar drama cock-blocked your date last night?” I asked hopefully.

He looked at me with a knowing smirk that he let sink into my skin, waiting till I was fully hot all over before he answered. “Because I saw you damn near spilling out of that black lingerie and then I told your fiancé that I was going to fuck you all night,” he said bluntly. “And since then, I haven’t had any time alone to…” His eyebrows pulled slightly together as he wet his lips and chose his words. “Take care of myself. As you would say.”

My heart slammed against my chest as I processed his words.

Unless I was hammered again, my boss just admitted to wanting to jerk off to the thought of me.

Wow. Okay. I was shocked. And floored.

And so completely turned on.

But I refused to show it.

“Well… you could have gotten it done in the shower,” I pointed out smartly.

Adam eyes glimmered with amusement. “Seemed like a bit of a risk with you right outside the door.”

“I mean I doubt I would have heard you jerking your dick over the sound of the water running.”

“No.” He took a drink. “But you would’ve heard me come.”

Oh.

I unstuck my tongue from the roof of my mouth, the casual filth of his words making my pussy clench so hard I wondered if it was physically possible to be turned on any harder than I was.

But just as the thought crossed my mind, Josh’s voice reentered our space.

“Hey, babe—” He spun around only to bump directly into the server passing in front of us. “Shit!”

My pulse spiked as two flutes of champagne toppled off the tray. But in a flash, I felt Adam grab my waist and jerk me close, my body crashing against his just as the glass splintered at my feet.

“Miss!” The server was immediately frantic. “Miss, I apologize! Are you hurt?”

Eyes wide, my heart pounded. “No, I’m okay! I’m fine,” I assured him as he held his arms out to block anyone else from passing. And as a few other servers rushed over to clean, I joined everyone around me in reacting to the scene, making sure I wasn’t in the way.

Of course, it was all an act.

Because while I had my head twisted around, staring wide-eyed at the sea of champagne and shattered glass at my feet, all I actually processed was the fact that Adam was still grasping me tightly in his arms, the front of my body still pressed flush against his and every inch of him feeling so hot and hard against me. His chest. His abs.

His cock.

Holy fuck.

My mouth fell lightly open as my fingers curled hard against his chest, and though I was still looking behind me at the mess, it was all just a cover at this point. A ploy to direct everyone else’s attention to the ground so they wouldn’t see what was happening right in front of them.

My boss pressing his steel erection against me.

And my cheeks flushing as I leaned into him, lightly writhing against it.

I convinced myself it was for balance till I felt Adam’s hot breath near my ear.

“Don’t do that unless you want to get fucked, AJ.”

My eyes glazed over as I stared at the shattered glass, the low murmur of his threat sending both a chill up my spine and a flood of heat in my panties.

Holy hell.

This is your fucking boss, AJ, I reminded myself as the servers began sweeping at my feet. The man who employs you, so for the love of God, peel yourself off his rock-hard body and throw your panties in the trash like this never happened, I implored myself as Josh’s laugh pierced through my fog.

“Damn, babe. Got you all wet.”

He leaned down, dabbing a napkin to the back of my calf and alerting me to the fact that clean-up was over now—that I was standing on my own two feet, staring at a fully swept floor as I felt the remaining bit of Adam’s touch—his hand on my hip—slide slowly off my body.

“My bad, AJ. Let’s get you another drink,” Josh said as I finally lifted my head to look over at Adam. And as soon as our eyes locked, my heart leapt in my throat.

He was leaning casually against the bar and at first glance he was stoic, impassive.

But I could see the thick, hot lust behind his heavy-lidded gaze, and the half-second clench of his jaw as our eyes remained locked for another few seconds.

Don’t do that unless you want to get fucked, AJ.

Did he really say that to me? It was ten seconds ago, but it felt like a fever dream now.

“Come on. I got some friends to introduce you to,” Josh said as he placed a flute of champagne in my hands.

I was still staring at Adam, but without protest, I let Josh usher me away, because I needed to separate myself right now.

I needed to be as far as physically possible from Adam for the rest of the night, because as many times as we’d played things off this weekend, the tension was now unmanageable.

I mean how could it not be? I had just felt the full length of Adam’s cock throbbing against me and my pussy hasn’t stopped clenching since. My head was still spinning and I was so worked up I could barely handle Josh touching my back as he introduced me to some people whose names I didn’t even try to catch.

Still, I stood up straight, giving my best smile and chatting along, faking perfectly normal despite the fact that Josh was letting his hand slide down to the small of my back.

And the fact that Adam was still watching me like a hawk from the bar.

I didn’t have to look to know. I could feel it. I’d always been able to feel his stare and generally, I didn’t mind that. I liked it. It made communication between us faster. Easier. But tonight, he was weaponizing it. Using it to remind me of what I felt before.

Which was admittedly the hottest ten seconds of my life.

Shit. I needed to text Georgia.

No.

As soon as I had the thought, I changed my mind, because I knew I couldn’t. My best friend had been suppressing Team Adam vibes for years now, and I knew she’d only be the devil on my shoulder—especially when she heard the full story. That Caspar cheated. That technically, I could sleep with Adam if I really wanted to.

So I whipped out my phone to text the strictest voice of reasoning in my life.

ME: Tell me I can’t sleep with my boss.

EMILY: Excuse me??

EMILY: Obviously you can’t?? Why are you texting me this??

When I didn’t answer right away, she called, but I ignored it, so she texted again.

EMILY: What is happening right now?? You are ENGAGED Adrienne are you on drugs???

I unstuck my tongue from the roof of my mouth.

I was not engaged. But I couldn’t rule out the drugs. I hadn’t taken any, but they would certainly explain the absolute batshit crazy taking over my mind right now. It was bad, taking on a life of its own and forcing me to imagine a scenario in which I just went home with Adam tonight and let him fuck me as hard as I knew he would.

Okay, no.

I needed out.

So once I finished chugging my champagne, I flashed a smile to the group, ignoring Josh’s bewilderment as I abruptly excused myself to the bathroom, where I found Liza sighing with boredom as she texted. Looking up, she cracked a grin.

“You look like you’re over it,” she snorted. And when I only blinked in response, she went back to texting. “Girl, I’m over it too. Me and the Melissas are sneaking out soon to hit a club. You in?”

My eyes lit up as my brain saw flashes of hope. Sweaty dancing. Sexy strangers.

Zero signs of Adam Maxwell.

I didn’t need to think before I was nodding vigorously.

“Hell yes. Let’s go.”

10

AJ

I felt hot.

Hotter than what could possibly be normal, even given the situation. The way my blood was pumping right now, coursing through me made my lips feel all swollen and tingly.

And I couldn’t help but wonder if he noticed when he looked up at me.

“Do me a favor—make a copy of that and give it to Warner. And try Julian again. He should be back from lunch by now.”

I nodded, watching Adam as he multi-tasked, his eyes laser-focused on an email on his laptop while his hands flipped through a file for a paper.

It was our third day back at the office since the pure havoc of the weekend. And it was my third day back since the night I ran off to the club with Liza.

The plan had been to grind against a hot guy at a club, go the hell home with him and then have a thrilling one-night stand that would satiate me for at least the next week—or whenever I got my ass on Tinder to find a decent fuck buddy in LA.

But that wasn’t what happened.

“Enjoy your sleepover with Deb?”

That had been the wry question that Adam had greeted me with at the airport the next morning, and though I couldn’t be sure he knew all the details—that I couldn’t find a guy I was willing to sleep with and wound up going home with Deb from accounting and watching Nightline with her while she complained about her husband—I could guess, judging from that prickish ghost of a smirk on his face, that he knew.

He knew I couldn’t trust myself to be near him. That I not only felt the clear-as-day contour of his impressive dick, but that wanted it too—so badly that I had to physically separate myself from him.

And that was where we were now. Completely aware of all of that.

But acknowledging absolutely none of it.

“Got it,” I nodded, but just as I turned to leave, Adam stopped me.

“AJ.”

A shiver moved over my skin as I turned around. “Yes?” I asked politely despite the wry look Adam was hitting me with.

“I think you need to take this from my hand in order to make a copy of it.”

My eyes fell to the file he was holding.

Goddammit.

“Right,” I said, willing my cheeks not to burn as Adam eyed me with that look.

That damned look.

Anytime he said anything to me this week, I swore he did it with this look. This mix of smugness, pity, and amusement. It had been gnawing at me all week and I truly couldn’t hate him more for it, despite the fact that yes, I’d been totally off all week.

Since coming back to LA, there’d been no extra talking on my part. No joking. No banter. In fairness, I’d been really busy. But I’d been busy before and still had time to give Adam my usual shit.

But this week is different.

Because every time I stepped foot in his office, I felt the desperate, flustered need to get out. STAT. My words weren’t coming to me the same. I felt less coherent and eye contact in itself was suddenly a job.

It was draining. Being within five feet of Adam was rough, so his office to me was now like a war zone.

And to make matters worse, I couldn’t stop thinking about the dream.

The fucking dream.

The one where Adam called me into his office, his gaze steely as he reclined in his seat and instructed me to undress for him.

It made me gasp myself awake the first night I had it, which was super awkward considering I was rooming with Deb, who I really didn’t know that well. Hopefully, she didn’t hear it. But if she did, I didn’t want to know.

I had more than enough messing with my head.

“Thanks. I’ll be right back,” I said, taking the file and turning on my heel.

But not before I caught his little smirk to himself as he went back to work.

Ugh.

What happened that weekend happened to both of us, but in classic Adam fashion, he seemed totally fine. Undistracted and unfazed. Meanwhile, I was struggling bad, and all he could do was find it amusing.

It pissed me off.

But I couldn’t call him out on it without bringing up the whole weekend I never wanted to talk about again, so I tried to detach myself, focusing instead on simply doing my job and acting as professional as possible and avoiding any unnecessary or prolonged contact with Adam.

Was that normal for us? No. Did we both know that? Yes. But I was in survival mode right now, so I didn’t care. I was just doing whatever I needed to do to get past this period where the majority of my energy was spent warding off sexual thoughts about Adam.

It’ll go away, I assured myself. Over and over.

It’ll go away.

But on Wednesday, I entered his office to find him sitting on the couch, which was by no means an unfamiliar sight.

But he was holding his phone in his lap, and something about the manspread he had going in that blue suit sent my mind straight to the gutter. It was like full-on going to battle having to stand in front of him, absorbing the full pressure of his gaze while giving him the rundown and fighting off every dick-related thought that existed in my mind.

The worst part was stumbling twice on my words, earning myself a condescending look.

“Do you need a minute?” Adam asked, sounding frosty. And annoyed.

Probably because I’d been short with him. Avoiding him. Trying to pass off a million unusual behaviors as our office normal, which he clearly didn’t appreciate.

It was definitely tense.

But since it was my only move, I kept telling myself to take it day by day. That things would get slowly better. Just watch, I told myself. Things will feel so much more normal by Thursday.

But then Thursday came.

And it couldn’t have been worse.

11

AJ

“I can’t lie. That sounds hot,” Georgia mused as I held my phone to my ear while checking under every stall of the bathroom. All empty, and thank God for that, since I’d just caved and given Georgia a very detailed description of what had happened in the conference room before. The short version was that I’d brushed past Adam on my way out and gotten a whiff of his cologne.

The long version was that it was two very long seconds of torture, mostly because of how fucking good that cologne smelled, and how annoyingly hot he looked in that suit. I’d never seen it before but it was dark blue and tailored, and stretched so perfectly across his Superman shoulders that I couldn’t help but relive that night in the hotel room—when he’d worn nothing but a white T-shirt, and I’d gotten a much better look at all that sculpted muscle.

“It was hot, technically, but I’m seriously failing right now at the whole stop-looking-at-him-like-that thing. And it really doesn’t help that I’m currently separated from my good vibrator.”

“The one you got in Chicago? That Adam said made you look ‘thoroughly fucked?’”

“Yes,” I grumbled, standing in front of the sink and staring at my not-so-familiar reflection in Georgia’s soft button-up top and a grey pencil skirt.

With Caspar refusing to vacate our shared home, I’d been staying at an AirBnB since returning to LA, and since I couldn’t get him to leave long enough to grab my things, I was currently living off whatever belongings I’d brought with me to the Palm Beach trip—along with some borrowed clothing from my best friend’s corporate days.

It wasn’t ideal, but I didn’t have time to shop. Also, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice Adam’s lingering eye when he first saw me walk in wearing a skirt.

“So, did you guys get to third base in the dream yet?” Georgia asked, making me stamp my heeled foot.

“Georgia Jane. Please don’t make me regret telling you about that,” I said, referring to the realization that my sex dream about Adam was in fact recurring. I’d had it Sunday night, Tuesday night, and again this morning.

And each time, we got a little more naked.

“What? I just want to know if Dream Adam has a nine-incher too.”

“Honestly, I don’t know yet because we haven’t gotten that far, but I’d prefer not to think about it now because—”

My phone buzzed twice to interrupt my sentence, and the second I looked at my screen, my pulse jumped.

ADAM: Where the hell are you?

ADAM: Get in my office

“Shit!” I hissed, looking at the texts then the time and realizing I’d taken way longer than a five-minute break. “Georgia, I gotta go!” I blurted.

I couldn’t even wait for her to say bye before I was bursting out of the bathroom, racing down the hall, and getting into Adam’s office just in time to hear him snap at me.

“Why didn’t you send the research to Knox’s team?”

I blinked.

It was like smacking face-first into a brick wall as I stopped dead in my tracks, my pulse jumping at the look of pure, undisguised fury on Adam’s face.

“What?”

“The research. From the first meeting,” Adam said tightly. “They asked for it on Tuesday. I thought you’d sent it by Wednesday. But they just called right now saying they never got it.”

I stared, the realization hitting me like another pile of bricks. “Adam, I…”

I frowned to myself.

I’d spaced. I realized that as I remembered the email from Knox’s team on Tuesday. I remembered Adam reminding me about it. And then I just… forgot about it.

Fuck.

I hadn’t made a mistake this dumb since my first month on the job and suddenly all I wanted was to crawl into a hole. But I forced myself to get past the mortification so I could remedy the situation.

“I’m so sorry, Adam. It won’t happen again. I’m going to send it right now,” I said, barely finishing my sentence before he cut in.

“Don’t bother. They took a meeting with RTA today.”

My heart sank into my stomach. “As in Roth Talent Agency?”

“What other RTA is there?” he asked cuttingly.

I swallowed.

None.

RTA was the industry goliath that took on any and every client just to keep its monopoly over the sporting world. Like everyone else at Engelman, I hated them.

Of course, my reasons were both professional and personal.

I gulped, feeling several worlds of regret as I just stood there, watching Adam seethe.

“Look, AJ, maybe you forgot, because of all your personal issues during the Palm Beach trip, but this client is really fucking important to me.”

I bristled at his tone. “Trust me, Adam. I want to sign him as badly as you do.”

“Then act like it.”

My temper flared for half a second before I breathed in deep, forcing myself to respond in a strictly professional tone.

“I will. It won’t happen again,” I said respectfully before turning on my heel and heading back to my desk.

I wanted to be pissed at Adam—and I was—but I also knew I had no right. I’d just fucked up. Royally. And for the dumbest possible reason.

ME: Hi I just potentially cost us a client because I can’t stop avoiding my very fuckable boss

I sent the text to Georgia just as Kenzie Engelman waltzed by in a crop top and leather skirt. “Adam busy?” she asked.

“Free as a bird,” I lied, if only to give myself a two-minute breather from him.

GEORGIA: Are you okay?

ME: Well I messed up big and he just chewed me out but I still managed to be turned on by how hot he is when he’s mad so I think the answer is no I’m not okay because I’m legit insane.

GEORGIA: No you’re not! Angry Adam is a thing

She had a point.

Angry Adam was indeed a thing coined by the women of this office, because he was generally always smiling and being a smart ass. It was rare that he was ever full-blown mad and when he was, the ladies tended to find an excuse to pass by his office, just to get a glimpse.

Well, now’s the time, girls, I thought as I decided to ignore his latest text of “get rid of her”—as in Kenzie—for just another minute.

GEORGIA: So what are you doing now?

ME: Oh nothing just avoiding his office because of what we did there in my dream

ME: And trying not to picture his dick based on what I felt over the weekend.

I hit send on the last text just as Liza’s voice sounded before me.

“Hey, girl,” she said, appearing so suddenly that I practically slammed my phone face down on my desk. “I’m heading out soon but I need to scan those documents. Did Adam sign them yet?”

“Oh.” I peered over my shoulder into his office. “I’m not sure, but I’ll remind him and I’ll bring them right over,” I replied as I watched Kenzie lean so far over Adam’s desk that she was practically laying on her stomach. “I just gotta get that one out of there first,” I said, offering a laugh as I turned back around.

But when I did, I found Liza still gazing into the office, her eyes glittering the way they did whenever she let herself check out Adam.

“Yeah, Kenzie Engelman is the epitome of spoiled and clueless, but I can’t even blame her for this,” she said, her head tilted to the side as she bit the corner of her lip. “Sorry. I know Adam drives you nuts, but we’ve been discussing him all day in The Pit. He just looks… so fucking hot today. I honestly don’t know how you do it.”

I don’t, I thought bitterly, but I smiled through a couple more lines of chit-chat before Liza went back to her desk. And as soon as she was gone, as if on cue, Kenzie came out on her own.

But this time, she stood in front of my desk till I slowly lifted my head and looked up at her and her little scowl.

“He told me to send you in,” she said.

I raised my eyebrows.

Shit.

It definitely said something when Adam was having Kenzie deliver messages to me.

“Okay,” I said awkwardly, watching Kenzie then turn on her heel, walk down the hall and then grab her purse off her desk before leaving for the evening.

Only then did I look around, noticing what time it was and that almost everyone had gone home.

The quiet made me feel especially unnerved as I got up and went into Adam’s office, where I found him thumbing through a report on his desk.

I stood at the door for another few seconds before he spoke without looking up.

“You were at your desk a few minutes ago. Is there a reason you just let Kenzie walk in?”

I drew in a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” I said genuinely. “I was just trying to… write an email,” I added, but it was such a blatant, half-hearted lie that when Adam looked up at me, his eyes glinted with a mix of scorn and amusement.

“Were you?” he asked, his question sounding so much like a taunt that I felt my tongue naturally gearing up to fire back. But then he spoke again. “Or were you trying to picture my dick based on what you felt this weekend?”

What.

The blood promptly drained from my face as I stared.

How…

The hell…?

My heartbeat was already thumping in my ears as I gaped unblinkingly for another few seconds. Then it hit me. And with a violent twist in my stomach, I realized why Georgia suddenly stopped replying mid-conversation. Because I didn’t send those last few texts to her.

I’d accidentally sent them to Adam.

Fuck.

Blood rushed to my tingling lips as they parted but said nothing. Speechless, I could only watch as Adam leaned back in his seat, his blue eyes glimmering on me as he adjusted the crisp white cuffs of his shirt.

“For the sake of your productivity, I’d be more than happy to show you,” he said, the corner of his mouth twisted up in such a devilish smirk that it took me a second to process what he was offering me right now in this office.

To show me his dick.

I was stunned, every inch of my skin on fire as I simply stared in silence at Adam. He cocked an eyebrow.

“So are you gonna tell me what we did in that dream?”

My mouth pursed into a line as I tried to find my words. It took several seconds, and they were shaky, but it was better than nothing. “I’d rather not.”

“And why is that?”

“Because the last thing I want or need is for you to get hard again.”

“I get hard every time I lay eyes on you, so I’d say that ship’s already sailed,” Adam said straightaway, his utter nonchalance sending a shiver down my spine that settled into a hot pulse between my legs.

Still, I steeled myself, doing my best to look impassive, even despite the words he spoke next.

“I’m not doing another week of this, AJ.”

My pulse picked up some more as I arched an eyebrow. “Of what?”

“You avoiding me,” Adam replied swiftly. “Acting like a total stranger around me. We can’t afford this total lapse in communication when we have this much work ahead of us, so I want to take care of this. Now.”

The way he spoke was so assured that I couldn’t hide the bewilderment that pulled my eyebrows together.

“What exactly are you proposing, Adam?”

His reply was unapologetic. “That I give you the orgasm you’ve needed since last week in Palm Beach.”

I inhaled sharply. My heart slammed and my every muscle clenched. Everything inside me was rioting right now, but I pretended to be unfazed.

“What makes you think I didn’t already get it?” I asked.

“It’s painfully obvious you haven’t,” he said.

Okay.

My jaw clenched and I looked away for a second, knowing well that I couldn’t really argue that.

“Well, whether or not I have, it’s only a matter of time, and the last person I need to get it from is you.”

“We both know that isn’t true. You’ve had a week to fuck anyone else, AJ, and judging by how incredibly tense and fucking awkward you’ve been around me all week,” he said, pausing half a beat to soak in my ire, “I’m the only person you actually want it from. So what I’m proposing right now is that I make you come all over my cock.” He paused another beat to enjoy the look on my face. “And after that, we can both stop thinking about this and carry on with our lives.”

I exhaled like I’d been socked in the chest.

“You realize that’s crazy, right? We would be risking our entire working relationship.”

“That’s already gone or we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Adam said, making my ears burn. “As far as I can tell, it can’t get worse than where we’re at now. Which is why I suspect we don’t have a whole lot to lose.”

My toes curled in my shoes.

God, was I crazy or did he have a point?

“Hey, guys?”

I nearly jumped when I heard Liza’s voice behind me.

“Sorry to scare you,” she laughed, touching my arm. “And so sorry to interrupt, Adam. I just wanted to know if you had those signed forms for me to scan.”

“Right here.” Adam held out a folder that I stepped forward to grab before handing it off to Liza.

“Thanks so much. I’ll be right back.”

And once Liza was gone, I turned back to Adam, our eyes boring into each other as I waited for her footsteps to walk far enough away so I could tell him no. That this was crazy.

But when I opened my mouth, different words came out.

“Just this once.” My voice was confoundingly calm. Assertive. My mind was at war with my body, and clearly, it wasn’t winning. “Just this once,” I repeated, “and then we’ll never speak of it again.”

Despite his easy gait, Adam’s eyes were vibrant, lit with an unmistakable thrill.

“You know we’re good at that,” he said calmly. “Anything else?”

My mind raced for a moment. “No kissing,” I decided. “My mouth or my pussy.”

“As long as I get to fuck you, AJ, I’m good.”

I writhed a little as I let his words sink in. They made me feel hot, my clothes feel too tight—like I could feel every shift of fabric against my skin as we gazed at each other in silence, both of us listening to the sound of Liza’s footsteps coming back.

In seconds, her voice was behind me again.

“Here we go,” she said brightly, handing me back the forms and then bringing her smiling eyes to Adam. “Thanks, Adam. Have a good night.”

“You too,” Adam said, his gaze returning smoothly to mine as Liza turned and went. He kept it fixed on me even as he said, “Anyone else out there?”

“No,” Liza called over her shoulder from halfway down the hall. “You guys are the last ones left.”

I suppressed my smirk, shaking my head at the pleased look in Adam’s eyes, and for the next ten seconds, our stares remained locked, unwavering.

But once we heard the ding of the elevator, the air shifted. I caught the flicker in his eye as we listened to the doors open.

And as soon as they closed, he broke the silence.

“May I have those forms back, please?” he asked with a courteousness we both knew was a farce.

There was nothing professional about this moment, so I shot a sarcastic look as I obliged, walking the forms over to him and trying not to melt under the blaze of his stare. But it felt like I was under the most erotic spotlight. The entire office was silent save for the neat click of my heels and with Adam’s wolfish gaze roaming freely all over my body, I felt so keenly aware of my breasts in my lace bra. My hips and thighs wrapped in my tight skirt. I had literally never been more eager, more aroused.

Of course, I refused to show it.

I was determined to hide any sliver of emotion—to act like this was just something I wanted to get done for the sake of efficiency. It was a little absurd, yes, but I strictly did not want to give Adam any more reason to be smug.

So I kept a fairly straight face on as I finally stood in front of his desk, a wry look in my eye as I handed over the folder.

“Anything else I can do for you?”

It was a question I asked him ten times a day, but this time was obviously different.

A wicked smile on his lips, Adam let his eyes linger on my chest before he said it—the same words that kicked off my dirty little dream.

“Take your clothes off for me.”

12

ADAM

Christ.

Just the thrill of saying that.

Reclined in my seat, I spread my legs wider apart, adjusting my cock and giving a slow stroke as I took in her ass—the way it moved from side to side in that skirt as she went to close the door.

And once it was shut, she turned around, making me grin as she gave me attitude. That reluctant, tired-of-your-shit look that she gave whenever I asked her to cancel on someone or come in on a weekend.

It was a look I got often.

But never as she was unbuttoning her top, showing me those beautiful tits.

Goddamn.

I couldn’t help my grin as she came toward me, her dark eyes locked on me, still giving me that vaguely annoyed look even as she arched her back and let her fully unbuttoned top fall off her smooth shoulders, fluttering down her arms and to the floor.

“Fuck, AJ,” I muttered under my breath, mostly to myself once she was down to just that black skirt and lacy black bra. Unblinking, I sat forward a little, still stroking my cock over my pants as my greedy eyes moved over the full curves of her tits and the tight peak of her nipples I could see through the lace. “Lose the bra already,” I said.

“Be patient,” she bit back, making me lift my gaze to her.

“I don’t think you realize how much patience I’ve burned through this week.”

“Over what?” She played innocent. “Me?”

“Yes.”

She arched an eyebrow as she reached behind her back. “What exactly did I do?”

I curled my lip, barely having to think to list her every offense against my cock this week.

The sashay of her hips that first Monday she came in wearing a skirt. The way she forced my eyes on her ass when she leaned over her desk to hand something to Liza. That was rough, but worse of course was the time she walked dutifully into my office, bright-eyed and ready for my instruction—while completely unaware that her nipples were hard enough for me to see through her top.

Just fantasizing about how many times she’d stood in front of me turned on with soaked panties had driven me crazy. I’d needed to jerk off literally every twenty minutes since Monday morning, but work didn’t exactly permit for that, so it had definitely been a hell of a trying…

Fuck.

My train of thought came to a halt when her lacy bra hit the floor. But as soon as it did, I was grinding my jaw, because she was teasing me now, her head tilted to the side and her lips curved up as she covered those luscious fucking tits with her hands, rubbing and squeezing them, pushing them against each other and refusing to let me see those nipples I’d been waiting to suck on all week.

It took everything in me to tear my eyes off of her chest to cut a look at her. “Enjoying yourself?”

She gave a little laugh that made my cock twitch.

“You’ve spent the past five years pissing me off, Adam. I think it’s fair that I spend a couple minutes getting revenge,” she said in a mischievous murmur, sliding her hands to the sides of her breasts, using her fingertips to keep her nipples covered and teasing me to the edge of my limit.

The second she looked down while bouncing herself in her hands, I lost my patience.

“Get the fuck over here, AJ.”

She smirked, rolling her eyes at my tone but coming over to me anyway. She took her time, of course, but as soon as she was close enough, I jerked her onto my lap, enjoying her resistance as I pulled her hands off her chest and pinned them behind her back.

“Asshole,” she breathed as I trapped her wrists, cursing under my breath when I finally soaked in the sight of her naked tits—full and round and bouncing for me as she writhed against my restraint.

“Sit still,” I muttered, before taking her nipple in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it, sucking hard till she gave me a moan. It was short, reluctant, but full of such desperate pleasure that it made my lips curl against her skin as I switched to one-handing my restraint, using my free hand to push her skirt up above her pussy.

“Are these even panties?” I muttered, slipping my fingers into her flimsy thong and hissing fuck when I felt how smooth and wet she was. Immediately, my mouth watered for a taste, making me wish I hadn’t promised not to kiss her there. “This how wet you’ve been for me all week?” I taunted.

“No,” she said, so insolent I had to smile as I gave a last flick of my tongue over her nipple before pulling back.

“Don’t lie to me. I was watching every time you squirmed at your desk,” I murmured, tilting my head as I lifted her skirt, “from all the juices leaking out of this pretty pussy.”

Teasing her for a little, I finally slipped my fingers inside—one then another, with such ease I had to praise her for being so wet for me, even as she continued to give me that attitude, her breathing ragged as she stifled her moans and curled her top lip.

“Bit of a creep watching me like that,” she breathed, her voice tinged with both pleasure and spite.

“At least I kept it to myself. You’re the one texting your boss about how badly you want his cock.”

“That wasn’t meant for you, asshole, but since we’re on that topic, maybe just stop talking and take your dick out already.”

I smirked. Not a bad idea. At this point, I was so hard it fucking hurt and the fact that her naked tits were right in my face made me feel like I might actually bust open my zipper. I needed to fuck her STAT.

But at the same time, I needed to punish her a little, so leaning back in my chair, I withdrew my fingers from inside her, taking satisfaction in the way her eyebrows twitched in their wake.

“Touch yourself first,” I instructed, reaching for my belt and suppressing my amusement as she glared. She even threw in a roll of the eyes, but I made sure to look bored with her attitude. “Do it now,” I said flatly, earning myself her signature death look.

I could practically see the sharp quip lining up on her tongue, but with a jangling sound of my belt, lust flashed in her eyes and before I knew it, I was living out a fantasy: AJ straddling me half-naked in my office, looking like she fucking hated me as she stroked little circles over her pink clit.

The soft jiggle of her tits nearly fucking hypnotized me as she played with herself, and though she did her best to look fed up, impatient as I reached for my cock, I could see every bit of her eagerness for me. The twitching flex of her thighs. The gorgeous flush of her cheeks.

Right before my eyes, the blood rushed to her lips, getting them nice and swollen for me as I unzipped my pants and freed my hard-on.

I could feel my own damned smugness shooting through the roof as AJ immediately went from huffy and moody to staring in awe at my rock-hard dick.

“Fuck,” she breathed as I gripped the base of my shaft, stroking slowly up and down to display my every hard inch for her bright, unblinking eyes. I wet my lips at how entranced she looked, watching as she unconsciously lifted herself enough to slide her fingers into her pussy, gently fucking herself to the sight of my cock as I reached for my wallet to grab a condom.

But once I had the foil in my hand, I clearly didn’t open it fast enough for AJ’s liking, because with an angry little moan, she grabbed it.

“Let me do it,” she said, taking over and whispering a string of expletives as she wrapped her fingers around my hot shaft. She was squirming in my lap, her wet pussy soaking my suit, thoroughly ruining it. But I didn’t give a shit, because I never wanted to forget this moment. How cute she looked when she was mad.

When she was desperately achingly for my cock.

“Your shirt. Unbutton it,” she said, which I did as I buried my face in her chest, licking up the heavy swell of her tits and swirling my tongue around her nipple, the corners of my mouth turned up as I did so, because I couldn’t help but enjoy her signature haste and impatience for me while she rolled a condom onto my throbbing dick. She was eager, hungry, but to my delight, her haste slowed when she lifted herself to position her sopping wet entrance above my flared tip.

As she bit her lip, I smirked, knowing well that she was afraid of plunging down on a cock my size.

“Bigger than you’re used to?”

She lifted her sharp gaze to me. “Yes. But trust me, Adam. Now’s not the time to be smug.”

“Why is that?” I asked, my voice husky as she rubbed my tip up and down her wet length. Her dark eyes gleamed.

“Because your big cock is at my mercy right now.” Her voice was a soft murmur as she rubbed me in circles against her clit. “And I can do this for a lot longer than you can handle,” she said, making my jaw clench and my abs contract as I endured the hot fucking sensation of her teasing.

God, she was so sexy. I couldn’t goddamned wait to fuck her.

And a part of me wished I’d said nothing to tease her, but I was also quite enjoying the fact that AJ was back. Being herself with me again. I’d missed her smart mouth all week. Getting it back was a relief, but getting it back while she was naked with her panties pulled to the side and her pussy all wet on my cock?

A thing of beauty.

Come on. I know you want it, I thought as she moaned softly while rubbing the head of my dick to her clit, getting herself so riled up she clearly couldn’t hold out anymore. Naturally, I felt the need to give her shit about it. But the last thing I wanted was to encourage her need to prove me wrong, so I kept my mouth shut till she finally slid her tight pussy down on me.

Holy… fuck.

Just a few inches and my every muscle clenched with pleasure and anticipation.

“There you go,” I murmured—not that she was paying attention to what I was saying anymore. She was too busy easing down onto me, making my jaw clench tight and a groan rumble from the depths of my chest as her sweet pussy stretched to accommodate my size. “Fuck, baby, that’s it. Just like that,” I rasped as she gripped handfuls of my collar while easing herself all the way to the base of my shaft.

“Fuck…” Her eyebrows pinched tight as she let out a little moan—so breathy and vulnerable that I just wanted to blow my load inside her. It really goddamned felt like I could, especially as she started swiveling her hips, working to get herself accustomed to my size. “God, you’re so fucking big,” she hissed, almost like an accusation. And though she sounded pissed, she clawed at my chest, pleasure twisting on her face as she started riding me, faster and faster till she was full-on bouncing on my cock with her perfect tits shaking in my face.

“AJ, Christ,” I cursed with a ragged groan, squeezing rough handfuls of her ass, gripping her waist, wanting to touch her fucking everywhere.

She felt so immediately like heaven that I wished I could’ve told myself in the middle of the hectic afternoon that things would be fine. That everything would be perfect at the end of the day, because at the end of the day, I would have AJ alone in my office, her clothes strewn on the floor and her pussy gripping me like a vise. Riding me hard. Like she was fucking made for my cock.

“Goddammit, AJ,” I growled, palming my hand up her tits and her neck till I was gripping her jaw, admiring those swollen pink lips as I held her face to mine. “Do you have any idea how badly I’ve wanted this?”

I could see her reluctance to look me in the eye. To let me see just how much she was enjoying my cock. But her lust was undeniable now with my grip firm on her, forcing her to look at me. And though I could see her trying to hold in the words, they escaped her lips.

“Tell me,” she panted as I tightened my grip on her jaw so that her back arched taut as she ground against my cock, fucking me like a pro, making my every muscle flex with pleasure as I answered through gnashed teeth.

“That night,” I ground out. “At the hotel. All I could think about was pulling those sheets off your body,” I dropped my eyes to her swollen lips, “and fucking your mouth. Your pussy. These fucking beautiful tits.” She cried out as I slapped her tit and squeezed it, taking it in my mouth again and sucking her nipple till I felt her muscles fluttering around my cock. “I wanted to see you covered in my cum,” I growled, her walls squeezing tighter around me with every word of my fantasy. She was digging her fingers into my shoulders now, riding me so hard and fast I felt delirious. “I wanted to pin you down to that bed… hear you screaming my name all night,” I said, smiling because just the thought of it made her moan and clench so hard around me I groaned, dropping my hands to her ass and spanking her. “Tell me how good it feels,” I rasped.

She panted for several seconds before answering with a tinge of mischief. “No.”

In response, I took my mouth off her tits, roughly squeezing her ass and spreading her pussy, watching the tortured pleasure twist on her face as I slammed her onto my cock—hard, without mercy, till she was gasping and moaning in succession, pleasure expelling nonstop from her lips till she was crying out all the words I wanted to hear.

“Fuck, it feels so good, Adam.”

“Tell me just how good it feels. Tell me how much you’ve wanted my cock,” I said through gritted teeth, the intensity of the pleasure taking over me, nearly blinding me.

Especially as she answered me. Sweet, breathless moans about how wet she’d been for me in that hotel room. How she wished I would’ve climbed into her bed. Pulled her panties to the side and slid my cock right inside her. I groaned as she went on, detailing every dirty thought she’d had all week. I had to force myself not to explode as little moans interrupted her confession about wanting to taste my cock. To feel it stretching her lips as she knelt under my desk.

She had me so turned on I felt fucking lightheaded.

“So good, AJ… so fucking good,” I growled hard enough to come to for a second—to realize her arms were wrapped around my neck now. That my hands were cupping her face, our gazes fiery, burning inches from each other as her perfect pussy milked my cock.

And before I could think twice, I broke the rule.

Jerking her close, I sealed my lips against hers, kissing her for the shortest three seconds of my life before she pulled sharply away, her stunned eyes glowing on me.

Our bodies still rocked against each other as the silence stretched. One second. Then another.

And then our mouths crashed against each other again, my groan rumbling into her as my tongue pulsed against hers, sweeping through her mouth and claiming her like I’d desperately needed to do since that night. Since I had her pushed against the door.

Since I saw her look at me like she needed me.

“Adam…”

Her little whimper came just as I felt her muscles contracting against me, and as soon as I murmured for her to come, she fell apart.

Grasping handfuls of her hair, I groaned at the sweet sound. And as I helped her rock against me, I muttered filth against her lips, praising her tight pussy and urging her to come all over my cock. I gripped her waist as the aftershocks rippled through her, and though she was limp, panting against me for awhile, she slowly returned to swiveling her hips, around and around, faster and harder till she was not only riding me again but coaxing my cock for every drop of cum I had inside me.

When I came, I dug my fingers into her ass, groaning louder than I ever had in my life.

I collapsed against my chair, cursing the stars in my vision because I knew AJ wouldn’t let me have her for much longer. I could already hear her gathering herself, rushing to catch her breath as she lifted herself off of my cock.

By the time I came to, she was still straddling me, gently squeezing the condom off and tying it up to toss into the trash.

And once she was done with that, she smirked at me, clearly enjoying how speechless and goddamned useless she’d rendered me. For once I was quiet. Sucked dry of any asshole humor or smart remarks. All I could do was stare through a heavy-lidded gaze as she took my hands and rubbed them all over her breasts.

“Last chance since you’ll never touch them ever again,” she said.

I blinked, still in a blissed-out daze for half a second. But in a flash, I was alive again, hastily groping and sucking the hell out of her tits, getting my fill and refusing to stop till she pulled away, making me growl as she got off of me.

And once again, I could only watch as she pulled her skirt back down over her smooth thighs, strutting over to her top on the floor and forcing me to stare at the swell of her tits from behind as she bent over to pick it up.

I shook my head to myself as I watched her button it back on, and I was all ready to fuck her again as she peered over her shoulder with a smile.

“‘Night, Adam,” she said, smoothing her hands down her sides before disappearing out of my office and leaving me staring at my door.

Because holy shit, that was amazing. The best thing I’d ever felt.

And quite possibly the worst—simply because I knew I’d never get to feel it again.

13

AJ

There were a quite a few important things I needed to get from the little house in Silver Lake that I’d shared with Caspar as recently as last week. There was my laptop. My passport and Social Security card. There were all my shampoos and comfy pajamas, and the rest of my entire wardrobe, too. Realistically, those items were my priority.

But at this particular moment, all I wanted was my vibrator.

It didn’t even have to be the good one for God’s sake. I’d settle for any at this particular moment, because holy hell was it impossible to stop thinking about Adam this morning.

Flopping onto my back in my lumpy AirBnB bed, I stared at the ceiling, hitting snooze once again so I could just take a little longer to reflect on the next-level craziness that was last night.

I slept with my boss.

The words repeated in my head as I relived flashes of it all.

The chiseled sections of Adam’s six-pack.

The warm lashing of his tongue across my nipple and his greedy hands squeezing all over my body.

I could actually feel every ounce of pent-up lust and desire in his touch and just thinking about it again this morning stole my breath away. Yeah, that… really happened, I thought, a fresh wave of awe hitting me as I relived his smooth lips. His rough tongue.

That fucking kiss.

I mean what the hell was that?

It had been such a shock of intimacy in the middle of our dirty, sweaty filth-fest, and not only had I let it happen, I’d… enjoyed it. So much so that it was exactly what sent me over the edge and made me come—as promised—harder than I’d ever come in my life.

It was a bit troubling how good it felt.

At the same time, I refused to let myself overanalyze it.

We did what we did last night to get it out of our systems. To squash the sexual tension and carry on with our lives, I reminded myself while staring at my reflection in the mirror and trying to brush my teeth like it was any other morning.

You’re just gonna fake it till you make it, baby.

That was the name of the game for this particular Friday, and it was the mantra I repeated in my head as I drove to work, peppering in the occasional “you’re fine” and “relax,” and just for good measure, a “you can work through any level of awkwardness”—just in case our little sexperiment did not in fact fix anything between us.

It actually worked enough to ease my nerves as I got into the office and said good morning to everyone in a passably normal way. I did, of course, stealthily scan the floor for Adam and wonder where he was, if he was in yet and what the hell it was going to be like when I saw him today.

But I didn’t have to wonder long, because just as I got to my desk, Liza came over, eyes playfully narrowed at me as I rounded my desk.

“K-Beauty?” she asked just as my heart leapt briefly into my throat.

Because emerging from an office behind her was Adam in a sharp grey suit, his smirking eyes already locked on mine as he strode toward his office.

I forcibly tore my eyes off of him, returning them to Liza at I set my purse on my desk. “What?”

“Are you doing that new skincare routine Deb’s been going on about? You’re literally glowing,” she said just as Adam passed my desk—stroking his bottom lip and wearing the biggest shit-eating grin of his life.

Bastard.

I suppressed my overwhelming need to shake my head as I heard him settling into his chair in his office, because I knew he was still listening to every word of my conversation with Liza. Even with a wall between us, his smugness was so palpable that I struggled for a second to think of my answer.

“Umm, yes, actually. That’s exactly what it is,” I said, assuming it’d be fastest in terms of getting me out of the conversation. But it wasn’t.

“Girl, I need this in my life,” Liza said. “I mean you’ve always had good skin but I’ve never seen it glow like this. What are you using? What’s the name?”

Umm.

Boss Dick?

“I… don’t remember off the top of my head, but once I get home I’ll be sure to take a picture of it for you,” I said to a pouting Liza. And then we talked for another minute but as soon as she left, I peered my narrowed eyes into Adam’s office and shook my head.

His gaze was focused on his laptop, but he was still wearing the remnants of that smile. Asshole, I snorted to myself as I turned back to face the front.

Well. I already want to smack the smug look off his face again. So maybe that’s a good sign, I thought as I shook my head through my first few emails of the day, because I already had a fair amount of messages to give to Adam, but that required going into his office and facing his annoying hotness and smugness—and in the very room where we’d had crazy, sweaty, admittedly mind-blowing sex twelve hours ago.

Yeah, except don’t think about that right now, I reminded myself. Or ever, since you are literally never allowed to look at his dick again let alone touch it. My fingers clicked away as I typed another sentence. Or taste it.

God.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, trying to force the image out of my head just as I heard a new email chime in—from Knox’s team.

Dammit. Knox news was always urgent, but just as I decided to put it off for another ten minutes, a reminder popped up on my screen about his meeting in ten minutes with the boss himself, Don Engelman.

Which meant I couldn’t put off facing Adam for much longer.

Not that you should. You got your big O out of your system and Adam has always been hot. You just know what his dick feels like now. But other than that, nothing has actually changed, so pull up your big girl panties and get in there, I told myself, letting myself fire off one more email before sucking in a deep breath and getting up to just get it over with.

Grabbing my notepad, I skimmed it as I headed into Adam’s office, but upon looking up, I saw the only thing at his desk was his jacket draped on his chair.

Which meant he was sitting over on the couch.

Dammit.

I braced myself for the manspread before turning my head to the right but it did little to prepare me because lord.

The full length of his height and muscle was on display with the way he sat half-reclined on that damned couch, a report in one hand and his other arm draped over the back of the couch, pulling his sleeve tight around his shoulder and bicep, and forcing my eyes there before they fell instinctively down to his muscled thighs and package.

Fuckin’ manspread, I thought before I finally looked up to find his eyes already on me, sparkling at me with sheer entertainment.

“Good morning,” he said, his voice smooth and sexy as ever, but tinged with enough humor that I narrowed my eyes in a wordless, mostly playful fuck you.

“Morning,” I returned, the weird energy in the air making my lips wiggle with the need to laugh or smirk or something. But I refrained. “Got a rundown,” I said with deliberate flatness. Adam smiled.

“Let’s hear it,” he said.

And so I rattled everything off my notepad, starting with Knox.

“His team emailed just now, and it looks like Knox wants one more meeting before he makes his decision. He says he’s interested in coming to LA, seeing the office since he still has time before the start of Spring Training, so if next Thursday at 9AM works for you, I’ll go ahead and confirm that.”

“Confirm it.”

“Great,” I nodded, jotting it down before confirming his availability for several video calls with clients today, and then getting into the itinerary Holland sent for her visit in a few weeks.

But all throughout, I felt a smile twitching at my lips, because while Adam and I spoke with utmost professionalism as we ran through the schedule, every time we looked at each other, there was laughter dancing in our eyes—enough that by my last note, I finally broke.

“Alright—am I really going to have to deal with you looking this pleased with yourself all day?” I asked. He grinned.

“Most likely, yeah. I mean I have to agree with Liza. You’re glowing.”

“And you’re taking all the credit for that, I assume?”

He feigned a frown. “Should I not?”

“Honestly, I think I just slept really well thanks to the intense workout I got from all that riding.”

“If that’s a dig at the amount of work I did last night, I’ll have you know that I was being nice by letting you have the top. But for the record, that’s usually my spot and in case you’re curious, I do my best work there.”

Just like that, I had a vivid image of the muscles in Adam’s long, hard torso rippling as he hovered over me. But I played it off.

“If you’re trying to entice me for round two, I’m good.”

“Sure?”

“Mm-hm. I got the full gist of what fucking Adam Maxwell is about, and I’m not all that curious about the rest,” I lied so confidently he looked legit annoyed for a second.

“I could make that pussy come a thousand ways with just my tongue, AJ.”

“I highly doubt that,” I said as I remembered the wet heat of his tongue on my tits and imagined it between my legs. As if he could see into my head, Adam cocked an eyebrow.

“Wanna bet?” he asked, flashing me that sexy, boyish grin that was such an unfair weapon I didn’t even have to fake rolling my eyes.

“Look, as happy as I am that we’re back to placing stupid bets, I think we should probably take this moment to just dungeon what happened last night. From here on out, no talking about the sex we had, even if it was… decent.”

“Judging by the claw marks on my back, it was better than decent,” Adam said with such an unbothered smile I felt my pride flare up.

“Fine,” I said coolly, soaking in his smug expression as I decided to play his game. “It was the best sex I ever had, Adam,” I admitted, letting him have two seconds of triumph before I went on. “I was so wet I could feel my pussy dripping down my thighs when I was in the elevator last night,” I said, enjoying the flash of surprise in Adam’s blue eyes. “And when I got home, I fucked myself with my fingers while thinking about how hard your cock was inside me. And then I did it again this morning while thinking about the sounds you made when you came.” Eyebrow arched, I cocked my head at him. “Happy now?” I asked with a little smile that curled wider as I watched the lust darken Adam’s eyes as he stared back in silence for a second.

And when he spoke again, his voice was tight.

“Yes,” he said, adjusting his dick and making me smirk.

See? Two can play that game, I thought wickedly as I put on a cheery voice.

“Great. Well, anyway, you have a meeting with Engelman in the conference room. It starts in two minutes, so I’d suggest you do your best to will down your dick,” I said with a placid smile, peering briefly down at Adam’s hard-on snaked down the leg of his pants and reveling in his utter silence before waltzing out of his office.

But not before I caught the little laugh of disbelief he breathed out like he’d been socked in the chest.

It filled me with a twisted sense of satisfaction, which was actually a pretty familiar feeling when it came to Adam.

Well, how about that? We’re officially back, I thought with delight as I returned to my seat at my desk.

We weren’t back to normal, per se.

But whatever this was, I could handle it.

14

ADAM

I woke up on Saturday to the sound of my phone ringing off the hook—to Holland’s ringtone, which she’d unfortunately set to “Barbie Girl” the last time I saw her.

With a groan, I shot my hand out, grabbing my phone off the nightstand. And before the song could play again, I picked up, grumbling, “Why did you do this to me?”

Holland’s giggle made me laugh despite myself. “It’s been the most effective way of getting you to pick up the phone. Were you asleep?”

I rolled onto my back. “Yeah? It’s 6AM on a Saturday,” I said, though as soon as the words left my mouth, I remembered all the alarms I slept through.

“Uh, it’s actually a quarter past eight,” Holland snorted. “And I wouldn’t have called if you weren’t usually up by the crack of dawn every morning. Were you out crazy late or something?”

I winced as I stretched. “Yeah,” I lied, since that would make a lot more sense than the truth.

Which was that I’d been wound up tight after a full day of catching AJ’s lingering glances and having to will down my own dick every twenty minutes or so. It was fairly exhausting, so after getting out of work late and bailing on a client’s birthday party by 10PM, I went home, jerked off in the shower, then lay sleepless in bed, staring at the ceiling and getting painfully hard every few hours.

Not exactly a story to tell anyone, let alone Holland, so I quickly changed the subject.

“So, what’s going on with you this morning?” I asked, earning myself an instant sigh.

“Oh, nothing, just dealing with Dad calling me all morning because Mom’s in another tizzy. She tried to visit me at work yesterday, but I told security not to let her up.”

My eyebrows shot up as I blinked several times, feeling officially awake. “Christ. Are you kidding? How’d she find out where you worked?” I asked, though I should’ve known that this aspect of my sister’s life would eventually get out given that she worked at a company as high profile as Minx.

“I’m not sure. I’m guessing it’s Google-able information now, especially with the promotion. It was only a matter of time before she found out, but security’s been briefed on the situation and luckily, she still doesn’t know my home address,” Holland said, sounding so casual that I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt, because already, she was used to living like this.

And the only reason she lived like this was because of me.

Having grown up the bad kid, I’d set the stage for her life. I’d never gotten along with my mom, Jeannie, and I was such a nightmare that when I was ten, she gave birth to Holland and raised her to be her perfect do-over child who was quiet and docile and basically everything I wasn’t. Since I was deemed a lost cause, I got to run free throughout my childhood and adolescence while Holland was just about chained to the house. She basically lived the life of a human doll with Mom dictating the way she dressed, controlling her every move and isolating her from friends—all because she couldn’t let “another Adam” happen again.

So… yeah.

Thankfully, my sister was smart enough to plot her escape by working secret jobs while commuting from home to college every day, eventually saving up enough money to move out upon graduating college last year. Of course, she didn’t tell anyone but AJ and me till about twelve hours before leaving.

And needless to say, our mom didn’t take it too well.

If she was crazy when I was growing up, this incident had her fully unhinged. Unable to put any other spin on her abusive ways. She made everything from harassing phone calls to threats and eight months later, she was still bothering everyone she could to get in contact with her precious baby Holland, and while Holland and I both had her number blocked, she did occasionally break my dad down enough to make him do her bidding.

Which sucked.

A lot. Because I did love my dad. Our relationship was as good as it could be, given the way I grew up, and all I wished was for him to leave. To just cut off contact like Holland and I did. But because he wouldn’t, Holland and I were never going to get a clean break from our mother.

A complicated situation for sure, but it was basically background drama that we lived with every day. It was by no means ideal, but we didn’t let it disrupt our lives. Of course, there were exceptions on the days that Jeannie was “in a tizzy” as Holland called it, or when she actually managed to make contact.

“Anyway, no biggie. I just wanted to warn you in case Dad calls today. I said I wouldn’t text Mom, so he’s probably going to try to get you to convince me. But you know how he is,” Holland said breezily, referring to the fact that my dad generally respected our boundaries. Only on occasion did he cave to his wife, but rarely ever for more than a day.

“Yeah, I know. But thank you for the heads up,” I said as I sat up in bed. It was on days like these that I was especially grateful for my best friend. As much as I thought about Holland and worried about her, it wasn’t anywhere near as much these days since she had Iain, and I knew he’d never let anything hurt her. “So. How’s the workaholic?” I asked with a grin.

“Iain? He’s good. He’s taken the weekend off three weeks in a row,” Holland said with audible pride that made me laugh, because I knew she was the sole reason behind my best friend’s new interest in not living at the office. “But hey, speaking of work, what… the hell is going on with you and AJ?”

The sudden shift in her tone made my pulse jump. “What do you mean?” I asked, on edge for a second.

“I mean are you guys bickering or something? She called before and sounded more annoyed than usual at the mention of you,” she said as I laughed and let go of the breath I was apparently holding. “Are you torturing her more than usual this week? I know you’re making her come into work today. Not cool.”

“Look, things are busy this week, so it can’t be helped. But I assure you I haven’t been torturing her,” I said, though I had to give a bit of a wince at my own answer, because it wasn’t entirely true. I’d been torturing AJ plenty this week, in ways I never had before.

In fairness though, she’d been giving it right back.

“Fine,” Holland said with a huff. “But you better not be, Adam, because it’s always been my greatest fear that someday you’ll legit piss her off enough to drive her away.”

“Really? Of all the things in this crazy-ass world, that’s your greatest fear?”

Holland laughed. “Yes! But in my defense, it’s because you basically ignored me before she came along.”

“Ouch,” I said playfully, though it was actually a pretty genuine ouch. “Ignored you? Come on. I wasn’t the most protective older brother, but I could never ignore you.”

“Adam. Iain was the only reason you talked to me when you guys came home for the holidays, and then once you guys weren’t living together anymore, it was radio silence for… awhile. Basically till AJ was hired. But even then, I had to wait six months before she had enough influence on you to make you call me back sometimes.”

Holland’s tone was still light and playful, which was something I wanted to take comfort in, but it was hard with this subject. I knew I’d been an absent brother to Holland. Aside from the fact that my mom was fiercely possessive of her, she was eight years old when I moved to California and never looked back. Most days, when I wanted to be able to live with myself, I chalked up the lost years of our relationship to those two reasons.

But on other days, when I was forced to really think about it, I knew I could’ve done more to be there for her. But I had trained myself to be distant. Growing up, my circumstances had forced me to wire my brain all wrong.

And I was still working these days to get it right.

“Um. Adam?” Holland said, breaking what I realized was a good five or six-second silence. “I totally didn’t say that to upset you. Did I? I only brought it up because I’m just extra grateful for you two since I moved out. Mom is Mom, and I was never close to Dad, so it’s like…” Holland trailed off, her voice getting quiet and sheepish in the way that always reminded me of when she was a kid.

“It’s like AJ and I are your surrogate parents now?” I teased, making her snort.

“No! But also kind of. It’s like you and AJ are the closest family I have left. How about that?”

“Definitely better. Less creepy.”

Holland laughed and for the last few minutes of our conversation, I got to talk to her about work, her promotion and the new location of Minx opening up in Los Angeles in a few weeks, which would mean her visiting for the first time in several months. And when we finally did hang up, I had a smile on my face the way I generally did after talking to my sister on the phone.

Of course, I had the usual guilt as well, and it was bigger than ever today—mostly because I’d been the one urging Holland to cut off Mom for years. To make this good but admittedly extreme decision to leave behind the closest family she had. I’d assured her everything would be fine. That we’d be here to take care of anything she needed after.

But I was realizing now that I always said “we” because I knew I needed AJ’s help.

Aside from the fact that Holland loved her, she was the only one who kept my head on straight. She called me out when I ignored Holland’s calls for too long. She refused to let me slack on my role as a brother, which made her basically the glue that kept what little family life I had left together.

Considering all the shit my sister had been through, I knew it meant everything to her.

But I’d just put all of it at risk to indulge my own pleasure.

Palming my hand over my head, I got out of bed, cursing myself a little before getting into the bathroom. Splashing some water on my face, I looked up at my reflection.

Alright, asshole.

Time to stop fucking around.

15

AJ

I woke up this morning feeling uncertain. In a bit of a limbo.

Yesterday had technically been a success in that Adam and I had finally started talking again. It was clear we’d restored the back-and-forth bickering aspect of our relationship, but it was also clear we had yet to reach normal, since we were bickering about the most sexual topics possible.

But I told myself that was natural.

Because the other night had been crazy. Absolutely wild and insane, and understandably, we needed time to react. Acting like it never happened would be like keeping that wall of miscommunication up between us, so in order to truly move on, we had to acknowledge the fact that we’d had sex.

Hence yesterday’s dirty talk warfare in Adam’s office.

Slash the reason that I may or may not have brought an extra pair of panties in my purse today.

I was convinced that didn’t mean anything though. Had that conversation turned me on? Yes. Did I still find Adam deathly attractive? Yes. But were we far enough past the hump of awkwardness for me to be myself again at the office?

Totally.

In fact, I had high hopes for today to be our first official day back to normal, and I was only further encouraged when I got out of the shower to find the usual text Adam sent on the Saturdays that he made me come into the office.

ADAM: Put your order in now or you’re getting French toast

I snorted.

The Saturday routine was that Adam played a game of basketball before heading into the office. I usually worked remote for limited hours on these days, but in the event that he needed me in person, the agreement was that he had to buy me baked French toast or some other delicious meal from his secret breakfast spot that literally everyone at the office had tried for years to get him to divulge.

But because Adam liked having a place to sit before work where he ran into absolutely no one from Engelman, he never told and had sworn me to secrecy as well.

Hilariously enough, the place was no hotspot. It was just Gizzy’s Kitchen in Santa Monica, a small, super casual cafe that looked like a little beach shack. It was definitely worlds different than Adam’s usual kind of restaurant and I knew he was treated like a king there, because whenever I was tasked to pick up our food because he was busy, the waitresses all asked me about him, and the owner was so eternally wrapped around Adam’s pinky that she was willing to cook pretty much whatever he wanted.

It was one of the rare times Adam’s killer smile benefited me as well. I could request literally anything right now and the last Saturday I worked, I’d done exactly that, having been in a weirdly sudden and aggressive mac and cheese mood.

But today, I went with the usual.

ME: It’s a French toast kind of morning

ME: Should I remind you how I take mine?

ADAM: No need to insult my intelligence.

ME: Sorry it’s just last time you forgot the whipped cream

ADAM: That wasn’t me that was the kitchen and they were slammed

I laughed as I dried my hair, because I found it funny and weirdly charming that when it came to Gizzy’s, Adam was a forgiving man.

Anyone at the office would get barked at if they forget anything he asked for. “I don’t care about excuses, just do it” would be the line he hit them with. But Adam was a different person at Gizzy’s, and I always thanked God for that place’s existence, because I was pretty sure it was the only thing that made him tolerable by the time he came into the office in the morning.

“Hey, you. Cute dress,” Liza remarked when I got into work.

I smiled, giving a “thank you” as I passed The Pit to get to my desk.

The office was a third full on a Saturday with everyone in more casual attire, including me. I had on a light grey, almost white tie-waist dress—another piece from Georgia’s closet that I was borrowing till I could get my real wardrobe back tonight. After a full week of living off borrowed clothing, I was finally going to get my things from my old house today after work, having confirmed with a mutual friend, Seth, that Caspar would be out.

I was in the middle of confirming the whole thing with Seth when I heard Liza’s chipper voice down the hall.

“Good morning, Adam!” she said brightly.

It served as a good warning for me, giving me ample time to steel myself before looking up and laying eyes on Adam.

Dammit, I cursed to myself wryly, because I’d half-hoped to find my level of attraction at least somewhat lowered, but nope.

Not when his tan looked especially good today against that crisp white shirt that he wore with the first few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up. Oof. One-two punch, but it’s okay. You got this, I thought, giving myself a little pep talk as my eyes raked through his hair.

It was still a little wet from the shower at the gym and I could literally tell how good he smelled right now just from looking at him. But you may not take a whiff of your boss today, I told myself firmly. Or ever, I added as I watched him nod hello to the handful of others who were in today before looking up and locking those blue eyes on me.

He didn’t smile with his lips, but I could see one twinkling in his eyes as he held up the take-out bag and nodded into his office—my sign to follow him in and chow down. So popping up from my chair, I did exactly that.

Fake it till you make it, baby, I reminded myself as I got in, acknowledging Adam’s little once-over of my dress with only a smirk before I kicked us off with a typical Saturday question.

“So. How was your game?” I asked, happy to have something to do as I approached his desk and unpacked the food as usual.

“Pretty damned good.”

“That extra sparkle in your eye tells me you embarrassed Josh MacMillan more than usual today.”

Adam gave a short laugh as he hit the space bar on his keyboard. “You know me well,” he said, a crooked smile touching the corner of his mouth.

It was a small smile. Not his usual grin from ear to ear. He was already looking at his computer too, which led me to conclude that he was a bit subdued today. More serious.

I knew this mood.

I’d seen it a good handful times in the past five years, and it usually meant something in his personal life was weighing on him. Most likely something to do with his family, since his mother provided no shortage of drama. But since “what Jeannie did this time” was a topic that was strictly dungeoned, I never asked about it. I generally just talked about whatever else there was to talk about until Adam cracked a real smile.

And thankfully, I was pretty good at that. All it took today was running through what few messages there were before asking Adam if Josh wore his personalized J-Mac jersey this morning with the matching and completely unnecessary arm sleeve.

There we go, I suppressed a triumphant grin when Adam answered with a yes and a laugh, and though he didn’t take his eyes off his screen, we talked for a few minutes, our usual chit-chat about nothing in particular.

At least until I made the critical mistake of licking whipped cream off my finger.

Mid-click, Adam cut his gaze to me—and with such laser swiftness I actually froze mid-lick, eyes wide and suppressing laughter till he shook his head, averting his eyes back to his screen. He gave another few clicks of his trackpad before he said, “If you’re going to eat in here, I’m going to need you to do it less attractively.”

His sternness made my eyebrows lift with both surprise and amusement. “Okay, let me just chew with my mouth wide open then.”

“That, I’d fire you for.”

I smirked. “Someone’s cranky today. It’s not my fault you don’t eat your French toast with strawberries and whipped cream the way you’re supposed to.”

“Fuck that. Blueberries was the tradition growing up.”

“Yeah, but you’ve always lived to rebel against your family’s traditions,” I snorted. “I mean isn’t that the reason you cheered for all LA teams growing up? And fled New Jersey the second you turned eighteen? Figured you would’ve been Team Strawberries just to piss everyone off.”

Adam laughed. “Nah. Team Blueberries forever,” he said, sounding mostly thawed from whatever mood he’d been in. Mission accomplished, I smiled to myself as I took a bite of my food. “So what did you call Holland for this morning?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing.”

He gave me a look. “Your voice just went up two octaves,” he said dryly. Read: I know what you sound like when you’re lying. I narrowed my eyes

“Fine, I was thanking her for the use of her employee discount, which is what I used to buy my copious amounts of lingerie for Caspar last week,” I said with a breeziness that I was using specifically to hide the tension I now had as I waited for Adam to make me sweat by saying something dirty.

But to my surprise and relief, he didn’t.

I did notice the single tick of his jaw at the mention of lingerie, but rather than saying something sexual, he opted to give me his usual shit.

“You still managed to drop three hundred dollars while using her discount?” he asked, clicking away at his screen.

“Trust me, it’s not that hard.”

“It’s a fifty percent discount.”

“Well, I bought the really good stuff,” I said, my words coming off sultrier than I meant because they prompted Adam to hit me with a look just as I was licking the whipped cream off the tip of a berry.

His stare moved to my tongue then to me. “You’re kidding, right?” he said.

“I didn’t know you were going to look up right then!”

“New rule, you can’t eat in my office anymore.”

“But everyone asks where my food is from when I eat outside!”

“It’s not that hard to lie, AJ, now get out,” Adam said, and though he was laughing, I knew he was serious, so I held my hands up and said “alright, alright,” grabbing my food and leaving.

I was still grinning by the time I got to my desk, but my smile faltered as soon as my eyes landed on the notifications glowing on my phone screen.

Texts.

From Caspar.

“Shit,” I muttered under my breath, already sensing the trouble as I grabbed my phone off my desk.

CASPAR: Seth told me you’re coming to get your things tonight and I just want to let you know that I plan to be home.

CASPAR: You’re welcome to come back but I’m not going to let you pack your bags until we talk. It’s been over a week AJ. We clearly have things we need to discuss like two adults. You’re my fiancee for Christ’s sake and I’m not going to give up on our union just because you’re not thinking straight.

Our “union”? What a douche.

CASPAR: I don’t want to do this but if you force me to I will tell everyone why this actually ended and I’m pretty sure the absolute last thing you want is for everyone, least of all your friends from college, knowing that you’re fucking your boss.

Unreal.

In a flash, I was seething. I seethed for literally every second of the next several hours of work, and though I hid it fairly well from Adam, I knew he’d detected the shift in my mood by our next conversation. And though I gave a pretty convincing “I’m fine” when he asked what was wrong, it stopped working by the end of the day, and I should’ve known.

Because in the way I could suss out his moods, he could suss out mine.

So the last time he told me to spit it out, I went ahead and showed him Caspar’s texts, which he took five seconds flat to read before handing my phone back, his jaw tight and his voice steely as he said, “I’ll go with you.”

I instinctively shook my head. “It’s fine, Adam. I’m just going to call Emily and—”

“Emily lives in Venice and it’s almost rush hour,” Adam said. “Let’s just do this so you can get rid of this jackass once and for all. I’ll just be there as back-up.”

I chewed my lip, considering the fact that Adam was five times Emily’s size and probably a better choice for this kind of mission. Plus, the whole point was to convince Caspar that I had moved on, and what better way to do that than show up with Adam?

“Is that a yes?” Adam asked, no doubt reading the glimmer of change in my face. I looked up at him.

“I want him to think we’re together,” I said, staring up at Adam as I watched the serious look in his eyes flicker with a hint of mischief.

“I got you covered,” he said, our eyes staying locked on each other for another few seconds. But then at the same time, a smirk touched our lips and Adam nodded toward the elevators. “Ready then?” he asked.

I grabbed my purse. “Let’s do it.”

16

AJ

Breathe.

It was the one word I repeated to myself the whole drive from the office, with Adam’s Range Rover trailing my Camry. We had discussed taking just his car to up the image of coupledom, but in the end, I’d nixed it for the sake of his convenience.

And perhaps my own nerves.

There was definitely a considerable amount of Caspar fury racing in my head and my heart right now, but there was something else too. Something I knew had to do with Adam, and the fact that we were about to appear before Caspar as a couple. Was I nervous? Or excited? Or both?

I couldn’t tell, but whatever it was, it got briefly washed over as I finally pulled into the driveway of the little bungalow I’d shared with Caspar for years. Just looking at it made me seethe, immediately bringing back the full hurt and anger and resentment for my ex that had taken a backseat in the past week or so.

Which was kind of unfortunate.

Because if I weren’t so pissed, I would’ve enjoyed the stupid reaction on Caspar’s face when I turned my key in the front door and walked back into the house.

“AJ, what—”

He’d been waiting on the couch, but he launched straight up when he saw me.

Or rather, when his gaze slid past my shoulder at Adam walking in behind me. And just like that, his eyes were instantly wild, bugging on us as I processed the scene behind him on the kitchen counter. Two glasses of red wine poured. A candle lit.

Was he fucking kidding?

I was honestly ready to ask him, but he was too busy frothing at the mouth, starting several different sentences before he finally spit out a full string of words.

“Motherfucker—you have no right to be in my house! I want you out! Now!” he snarled at Adam, who had been trailing me by a few steps.

But I could feel the heat of his body behind me now, making my breath briefly hitch in my throat, especially as he slid his assuring palm along my hip and let his fingertips settle on my hipbone.

I couldn’t help but peer up at him, my heart starting to pound as I saw him staring at Caspar with utter boredom.

“Nah, I’m good here,” he finally said, and with the ease of someone who knew he couldn’t be physically removed from anywhere.

By anyone.

I could see that face actively stirring fury in Caspar’s eyes, thoroughly wounding his precious ego as he stared at him another few seconds. But then as if accepting he was no match for even half of Adam, Caspar turned to me, livid.

“AJ, if you don’t get him out of our house in two seconds, you’re never getting your shit back. The bedroom door’s locked and only I have the key, so maybe think twice about being a fucking stupid bitch,” he hissed, making my temper flare fast.

But even faster was Adam.

“Adam—don’t!”

My hands were suddenly flat on his chest as I stopped him mid-lunge toward Caspar, who’d cowered so sharply I’d caught the motion from the corner of my eye.

It filled me with that much more disgust for my ex, but I paid it no mind as I slid my hand from Adam’s chest to his shoulder, willing him to look at me and calm down, but I wasn’t doing the best job.

I was busy being stunned myself.

Because it wasn’t an act.

Adam’s jaw was tight, his muscles tense and his eyes blazing as he stared Caspar down. But when I moved my hand to the back of his neck and repeated his name, he looked down at me.

“It’s okay,” I said, my voice coming out in a whisper and making me feel oddly sheepish, because I’d never touched or looked at Adam like this before, and I couldn’t tell if I was playing up my affection right now.

Or if it was real.

I couldn’t tell as he nodded and put his hand on top of mine if this part was an act, and it had my head all mixed up until Caspar’s seething voice brought me rudely back to earth.

“For fuck’s sake, AJ. You of all people know what’s going to happen here.”

Turning back around, I didn’t try to hide my irritation. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Caspar,” I said. He shook his head.

“I’m talking about how I should’ve never spent all that time being there for you after the shit that happened in college,” he said with a cruel sneer on his lips. “It was clearly a waste of time since you were just gonna go ahead and become the exact kind of dumb girl Schilling thought you were.”

My throat tightened suddenly as I felt Adam still behind me.

Because he recognized Schilling’s name.

Of course he did. Everyone in the sports world did.

Fucking asshole. It was my turn to shake my head at Caspar, amazed that he would bring that up the way he did. I felt so immediately rattled by his words.

Of course, I refused to show it.

“Listen, I get it, Caspar,” I said, my voice low, a sharp murmur. “You’re finally realizing that I am done with you, so you’re trying to go for the jugular, but let me just save you the time, because I know exactly who I am. I know exactly what I’ve accomplished entirely on my own, and nothing you say is going to make me insecure the way you are,” I informed him, and as mortified as I currently was, I meant every word of it. “So just give me the key so I can get my stuff and we can get out of—”

“We?” Caspar interrupted fast. “As in you and Maxwell?” he scoffed, looking at Adam and giving a bitter laugh that was way too long and performative. “AJ. People like him—with the power, the money—they know they can do whatever they want to you before kicking you to the curb. And that’s exactly what he’s going to do with you. The second he finds a better pussy to—”

“Watch it,” Adam cut in, making me instinctively reach for him as he stepped forward. But he didn’t go further, staying next to me and letting me hold onto his arm just to be safe as he spoke to Caspar in a heated mutter. “Look, I know I may be wasting my breath here since your particular brand of delusion is stronger than most,” he said, waiting a beat to let Caspar seethe over his words before he went on. “But the fact of the matter is that you don’t know shit about my relationship with AJ. You’re actually more clueless than I would’ve ever even imagined given you cheated on a woman you should’ve been thanking God every day you even had.”

My heart slammed in my chest, my eyes darting from Caspar to Adam as he spoke now with ease, his eyes on fire but his voice calm, relaxing with every word that left his lips.

“In case you forgot, I’ve been with AJ for five years too. But the difference is I’ve known her worth since the day she came into my life, and I never forget it for a second. I know exactly what she brings to the table. That there isn’t anyone else like her out there. I know I wouldn’t have made it anywhere close to this far without her, and that’s what sets my five years apart from yours. I know how fucking lucky I am. And I know to never do anything to screw that up.”

In the silence that followed, his words lingered in the air. And for several seconds, all I heard was my pulse slamming in my ears.

I didn’t know when it happened—I suspected it was me—but at some point, my hand had slid down from hugging his arm and entwined itself in his fingers. And not only had he let it happen, he’d held on tight, squeezing in a way that drew Caspar’s eyes.

He stared for a moment, as if the image of our locked fingers was the nail in the coffin. And when he looked at me again, I could tell he believed it now.

That we were real.

The bitterness in his eyes was so strong now that it was clear he was no longer trying to hide it.

“I’ll just tell everyone at Engelman that you two are fucking,” he said.

“Yeah, that’s where you’re wrong, jackass,” Adam said comfortably. “There’s no rule against this at the company, so it won’t hurt AJ’s career. But it’ll kill yours before it even starts, because we both know I have every connection you could possibly want. I know everyone worth knowing in this city—every last person you want to work with, to get funding from, and I promise you, if you do anything to try and make her life more difficult, I’ll make sure none of your work will ever see the light of day.”

Adam paused, letting his words sink in as a promise.

“Now do yourself a favor and hand over the key,” he finished.

It took several seconds and some scowling, but finally, Caspar dug into his pocket, lobbing over the key that Adam caught without taking his eyes off of him.

“Test it,” he said, handing it over to me.

Heart pounding, I did exactly that, going down the hall and sliding the key into the keyhole of my bedroom door. As soon as it turned, I headed back.

“It works,” I said to Adam, and though his nod was directed at me, he didn’t take his eyes off of Caspar.

“Come back in three hours,” he said.

Despite his calm, it was every bit a demand, and it made Caspar’s nostrils flare with what looked like defeat. He stared at Adam, then at me, and in some last-ditch effort to say something to me, he stepped toward me.

But in no time, Adam had me pulled into his side, his hand on the small of my back and my breasts pressed against him as he watched my ex finally go, his eyes fixed tightly on Caspar.

And my eyes fixed tightly on him.

His body felt hot and hard against me, and as I studied the strong angle of his jaw, the perfect shape of his lips, I felt a mix of heat and gratitude surging through me.

It was a warm, buzzing sensation that traveled through my veins up to my lips, parting them as soon as the front door shut and Adam looked down at me again, his eyes immediately reading the look in mine.

I could tell by the way he swallowed, his throat moving as he studied my eyes, my lips for two seconds of thick silence. When he looked back up at me, I could tell he was trying to be firm. But his voice was a soft murmur as he said, “Let’s go pack, AJ.”

And when I shook my head, he didn’t look surprised. But he did swallow again, looking resistant as he asked his question.

“What do you want to do?”

ADAM

IT WAS like zero to sixty.

Without a word spoken, she already had me hard as a rock, helpless to do anything but watch in awe as she gripped a small handful of my shirt and guided me to the couch.

Jesus fuck.

My dick throbbed as I watched AJ get on her knees, and though it was clear what was happening, I still couldn’t believe it, because despite the fact that she was my assistant, I’d never in my life seen her act quiet, submissive. Yet here she was, so uncharacteristically docile, looking so eager to serve me as she leaned gently forward, pressing her firm tits lightly against my legs as she undid my belt, button and zipper.

Christ.

So this was really happening.

With my every sense perked wide awake, I stared, unblinking as I watched her take out my hard cock, giving me barely any time to react before I felt the wet heat of her mouth wrapped tightly around it.

“Oh fuck, AJ.”

My head fell back for a second and a groan tore from my throat as she started sucking me greedily from the first goddamned second. Holy fuck. Her pink lips were stretched so perfectly around my thickness, and her cheeks hollowed as she gave pulls so immediately long, wet and tight on my shaft that I had to stop myself from tugging the hell out of her hair as I threaded my fingers through it.

But her mouth felt so good I just wanted to fuck it.

I wanted to take full control. To go fast and hard the way I liked it. But with my every muscle flexed tight, I restrained myself, not letting myself move my hips let alone thrust into her mouth.

Because I needed to savor this.

I had no idea what was happening. If or when I’d get to feel this again. So I forced myself to just sit goddamned still, to simply watch in awe as AJ kept eagerly sucking on my cock, swirling and fluttering her tongue against my hot skin, spreading sweet wetness all over my shaft and withdrawing her mouth only to watch the fat drop of pre-cum beading at my tip.

Fuck me… you have got to be kidding me, I thought as she lifted her eyes to mine, sticking her pink tongue out and licking it off, humming with pleasure as she sucked my tip clean and pulled a low, gravelly sound from the pit of my throat.

“Fuck, AJ, that feels so good,” I cursed as she dropped her mouth back down on me while pushing the top of her dress off her shoulders, making me want to bust in her mouth as she treated me to the sight of her tits. “So fucking sexy.” I shook my head. “Look at me,” I rasped, convinced I was in heaven as soon as AJ obliged, lifting her gaze and keeping her beautiful eyes on me even as she filled her mouth with my cock, jerking and sucking me off like she was desperately craving my cum.

Stroke after stroke, she took more of me inside her, getting those swollen lips closer and closer to my root, till my tip was pulsing against the back of her throat, forcing me to growl like an animal as I pulled her hair hard.

Sensation was trickling in from every corner of my body now, my balls tightening as I felt the build-up of pleasure ready to explode. Fuck.

“I’m going to come,” I warned when I couldn’t hold out any longer.

And though I expected AJ to pull off she responded by looking up at me, continuing her wet stroke on my cock, and watching with glimmering eyes as I emptied in her mouth, spilling hot cum all over her tongue and watching in a trance as she swallowed each burst like she wanted more.

Holy… fuck.

I was still recovering, delirious as I watched AJ lick her lips and zip me back up with a satisfied little smile. But as soon as she got up, I hauled her onto the sofa, pinning her on her back and pushing up her skirt.

But I’d barely gotten to kiss her pussy over her soaked thong before she was giggling—Christ, that sound—and squirming out of my grasp.

“You have dinner with Engelman in an hour and you need to go home to change first,” she said, back on her feet and smoothing her dress down at the sides.

“Fuck dinner.”

“He’s your boss,” she smirked.

“I’d rather eat your pussy all night,” I said, so dead serious that I could see arousal glowing in her eyes, making her bite her lip for a second before she shook her head, wearing a little smile.

“Get up, Maxwell. I’m kicking you out.”

I was reluctant to move but she wound up getting me up by lifting her dress, wiggling out of her thong and leading me to the door with her naked pussy. But instead of letting me lick it like I’d hoped, she slipped her panties in my pocket and slid her hand up my chest. “Souvenir for you,” she murmured with a crooked little grin. “Thanks for everything. Enjoy your dinner tonight.”

Then as promised, she kicked me out.

17

AJ

I’d tossed and turned last night, unable to sleep till past 4AM, which wasn’t all that surprising. Given the rather eventful night I’d had, it was surprising that I slept at all.

But luckily, I did, and when I woke up at 10:15, I was already biting back a grin, smiling to myself before I even opened my eyes.

Unlike my past few mornings after Adam-related incidents, I felt… pretty damned good. And content.

It was surprising, and a little strange, but a part of me was relieved to have no regrets whatsoever.

If there was any at all, it was just the fact that I slept in so late, because after twenty or so minutes of just lying lazily in bed, I popped up and hissed, “Crap!” because I totally forgot about brunch.

It was Sunday, my usual day for boozy afternoon catch-ups with Georgia and Emily, the latter of whom I shot a quick text to before I bolted into the bathroom to take the world’s quickest shower.

ME: No need to pick me up. I just woke up. So sorry. Order the usual and start eating with Georgia I’ll be there ASAP

By the time I got out of the shower, I checked my phone expecting to see a text from Emily. But instead, it was Georgia.

GEORGIA: Lol she thinks you’re sleeping in because you’re depressed over how lonely you are and that we need to stage an intervention or take you on a girls trip ASAP

ME: Oh God no

I snorted despite feeling pretty damned guilty about my sister’s worry.

While Georgia was completely caught up on my Adam escapades, having been the person I was texting till 2AM, my sister was still in the dark.

About everything.

The last time I spoke to her about Adam was when I texted her at the Engelman gala in Palm Beach, and I wound up just telling her that I got way too drunk with some female coworkers who were egging me on about my hot boss, and the “tell me I can’t sleep with my boss” text was just the result of being hammered while dealing with some pretty raw post-breakup emotions.

She bought it, and I never updated her about, well, full-on sleeping with Adam, because I knew what her reaction would be. It would be all the horror and disappointment in the world, and maybe even a little panic on my behalf. The plan had been to just not tell her anything forever, until the end of time, because I’d very much planned on snuffing out whatever weird feelings I was having for Adam. I mean they’ll be gone in no time, so why bother? I kept telling myself.

Yeah…

No time my ass, I thought only somewhat ruefully as I finally got into brunch a whopping thirty minutes late. Thankfully, the hostess had been kind and let Emily and Georgia get seated first, which meant they were already halfway through their first round of mimosas when I sat down.

“Aww! You don’t look sad at all!” Emily said happily, making me laugh, because tucked behind her ear was one of the flowers from the vase on the table—though that was no doubt Georgia’s doing, because even when she was tipsy, my sister was still ever the practical one.

It was actually amusing to see her in her typical blue Oxford and jeans while sitting next to my free spirit of a best friend, who was the polar opposite as usual, decked out in a yellow gingham print dress, a big, floppy hat and heart-shaped sunglasses. I blamed how cute they looked—specifically with their big smiles and playful hair flowers—for the fact that I decided to just come clean to Emily about Adam.

My heart was pitter-pattering already, but I figured it was best to put Emily out of any worried misery she might have about me and my breakup with Caspar, so within the first few sips of my mimosa, I went for it.

“So, I have something to confess to you about Adam.”

Emily’s eyes went wide, but she was still laughing. “Oh God,” she said in her I’m horrified voice. “You still want to sleep with him?”

Oof.

“I slept with him,” I said, ripping off the bandage before I could change my mind. But I regretted it as soon as I watched the mirth flicker from Emily’s eyes, leaving them cold and hard as she stared at me for a second.

“I’m sorry, what?” she said.

“She slept with Adam,” Georgia confirmed. “In his office. Like a porno.”

I looked at her. “Georgia.”

“What? That’s the best part.”

“I agree, but I don’t think that’s where Em’s head is at right now,” I said slowly, and a bit humorously in hopes of tricking Emily to be lighthearted about this. But I should’ve known that wouldn’t work.

“You have got to be kidding me, Adrienne,” she said, her voice so stone-cold and sober it was as if she’d never had a drink in her life, let alone one a second ago. “How could you do this?”

I heaved a giant sigh, saying things I knew would be useless, things about the tension, the inability to work. How we were actually doing better now than we were before we had sex. I even played the Caspar breakup card in hopes of earning some sympathy, but I got absolutely none. The cross-armed death look that Emily pinned on me was so potently icy that the waitress kept nervously peering at us and skipping our table, even as Georgia tried to flag her down for another round of drinks.

“Look, I know you’re pissed, but all I want you to know is that I’m actually fine,” I said in the end. “I’m not depressed and you don’t have to worry about me.”

“Oh, I think I do,” Emily said in singsong, raising her eyebrows as she turned her attention briefly to her drink. Across the table, Georgia shot me a crap look because we both knew the singsong meant Emily was about to throw down.

And that was precisely what she did after a sip of her mimosa.

“I’m sure you know this, AJ, but you are playing with fire here. Adam might be a good boss, but you have no idea what he’s like in a relationship, because he has no idea what he’s like in a relationship. He’s never been in one. He can’t commit to a single human being beyond a work level. He can’t even keep in touch with his own sister without you reminding him.”

“Hey—easy,” I frowned hard, feeling defensive. The only people I’d ever talked to about Adam and Holland were Georgia and Emily, and it had always been with the understanding that there was no judgement.

Emily took in a deep breath.

“I’m just saying, AJ. I like Adam. A lot. I know he’s a good person. But this is uncharted territory for him, and we have no idea how he’s going to act. I mean how many times have you slept with him?”

“Once.” I paused. “Plus some stuff last night.”

“At his house?”

“Mine. And then I kicked him out.”

“So you gave him that one orgasm last night and you haven’t talked to him at all today?”

I squinted at her. “No…”

“And you guys haven’t carefully mapped out the exact logistics of your new friends-with-benefits situation?”

“No, because we aren’t serial killers—what are you even getting at right now, Em?” I asked.

“The fact that it’s his one off day a week, and I highly doubt he’s going to just spend the day jerking off in his living room like the homebody he’s not,” Emily said. “You make his schedule. What’s he doing tonight?”

I took a second to think. “He has a dinner tonight,” I replied.

“With who?”

“A friend.”

Emily arched an eyebrow. “The kind he has sex with?”

I pursed my lips. The answer was yes, because his dinner date was with Naomi, his fuck buddy from his days at Stanford Law. She was particularly eager to see him while she was in town, which was why I’d confirmed this reservation for them over two weeks ago.

Emily took my silence as the “yes” it very much was.

“So, how would you feel if Adam slept with her tonight?” she asked.

“Well, we’re not dating, so he’s well within his right to sleep with her,” I said.

“Obviously, but how would it make you as a person feel?” Emily pressed.

Totally fine? I tried the thought out in my head but realized it didn’t actually fly as hoped. Okay no, not really. Ugh. I couldn’t even lie in my own head.

Reading the look on my face, Emily sighed.

“Alright, well, I’ll wrap this up since you both look like you want to jump off a bridge right now,” she snorted, glancing over at Georgia who had her chin in her hand and her glass overturned to drip the last bit of mimosa onto her tongue. Shaking her head, Emily laughed before turning to me, her eyes softer now. “I’m sorry for being an asshole about this stuff, AJ. I know it’s annoying and it’s not what you want to hear, but I’m only this tough, because I know what this job means to you. We all saw what you had to deal with in college with Schilling, and I just don’t want even a shade of that to happen again,” she said earnestly, offering a sad little smile as I nodded in understanding. Then she turned back to Georgia. “Help me out here, GiGi.”

“He’s hot as fuck, I say go for it,” Georgia said, barely finished with her sentence before Emily had her hand covering her face. “What?” Georgia frowned. “I mean I can acknowledge that it’s risky what AJ’s doing, but I also know someone as measured and careful as she is wouldn’t be doing it if her body wasn’t calling for it.”

Emily cackled. “I love how you have a way of framing impulsive decisions as something healthy and holistic.”

“You know me, I’m all about listening to your body. I can’t even begin to tell you how much better life got for me when I stopped counting calories and just eating intuitively.”

“Are we really comparing Adam to food?” I snorted.

“We should, considering I’d lick him all over,” Georgia smiled brightly at me. “Can we get confirmation, by the way, on how big it is?”

I gave her a look that said not now, but then I saw Emily arch a curious eyebrow at me. “Wait—what the hell? You don’t get to disapprove of my choices and then ask me how big Adam’s dick is!” I practically yelled.

But I was also thankful for a reason to laugh, because I knew we needed it—in particular Emily and me. Georgia had been very much there for me during the whole thing that went down in college, but as my sister, Emily shared half my heart, and had hurt for me on a whole other level than my friends when Schilling did what he did.

So as much as everything she’d just said sucked to hear, I gave her a pass. Because I knew it came from a place of love.

Tough love, for sure. But love nonetheless.

18

AJ

After an overall good brunch with the girls, we’d gone shopping for a bit, taking a walk through the mall then a quick stroll on the beach before I had to go home to finish a report on Knox that I hadn’t quite wrapped up yesterday at the office, thanks to my intermittent fuming over Caspar’s shitty texts.

“And... bye-bye,” I murmured to myself as I officially blocked his number and deleted him in my messages. It took a second after the initial swipe left, because there was something so final about hitting delete on literally years and years’ worth of texts.

But as soon as I did it I smiled, feeling actually lighter. I felt so good, in fact, that I managed to finish my work in half the time I’d expected, which was perfect since I needed to get this jump drive full of Knox highlights back to Adam tonight—just for some extra reviewing ahead of our second meeting with Knox on Thursday.

Peering at the clock, I wiggled my pursed lips.

For work purposes, I’d let myself into Adam’s all the time. The protocol was just to text him a heads up, which I usually did when I was ten minutes away.

But it was seven-fifteen right now and his date was at eight, and since the restaurant was a thirty minute drive from his house, he was probably getting ready right now. Most likely showering or getting dressed.

Ugh.

Emily’s words came back to haunt me as I sat at my kitchen counter.

So, how would you feel if Adam slept with her tonight?

I stewed for three seconds before I heaved a sigh. “Not great, Emily, okay?” I confessed aloud, irrationally annoyed at both her and me and Adam as well, because now my stupid brain was digging through every memory in the past five years that I had of Adam’s smile as he talked on the phone with Naomi, and that low, sexy chuckle he gave whenever the girl on the other line said something presumably very dirty. “Ughhh,” I said with exaggerated irritation just to get it all out of my system.

Then I pulled up my big girl panties, told myself to stop thinking about this and played Words With Friends in the kitchen till it was a quarter to eight and a safe time to go.

By the time I got to Adam’s house, it was a hair before 8PM, which explained why Morris’s car wasn’t here yet. He was the home cook who came every Sunday evening to meal prep for the week, since I swore Adam ate more meals a day than any human I knew.

Then again he was six feet and four inches of pure lean muscle, so maybe it was normal.

Aside from his daily breakfast at Gizzy’s, lunch somewhere near the office and a dinner meeting at some ritzy restaurant, he also had first breakfast in the early morning and second dinner at night, since he generally stayed up late to work.

I was wondering what Morris had on the menu for tonight as I was letting myself in, but as soon as I was in, I was wondering something else entirely—namely why Adam left the TV on. He never did that, but as I made my way through the foyer I could hear the distinct sounds of March Madness playing from the living room.

My intention was to turn it off until I got to where the living room met the dining room and kitchen—and saw Adam sitting at his dining table, wearing a white T-shirt and sweats. The sun set on him as he, surprisingly, wrote a letter on stationery. By hand. There was even a first draft balled up next to him, as well as an envelope already stamped and addressed.

I could’ve watched him for longer, but it felt like a big, weird invasion of privacy, so as gently as I could, I said, “Adam.”

Still, he startled, looking instinctively pissed the way he did whenever he was interrupted. But then his eyes found me, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel warm all over from the way he instantly calmed.

“Oh. Hey.”

Heading over to him, I cocked my head to the side. “Why aren’t you dressed? Or at dinner?”

Adam blinked for a second, as if forgetting what dinner was. “Oh. I got held up by a phone call and I decided to just… cancel altogether. Didn’t really feel like going.”

“Huh.” Do not rejoice that he didn’t go. He’s clearly bummed about something, I scolded myself. “Everything okay?” I asked as we met each other halfway in the kitchen. “Was it work?”

“No,” Adam answered.

And since he left it at that, I nodded, doing my typical silent cursing of Jeannie. Thanks a lot, lady. Can you chill with your shit for just one day? I thought before glancing over at the clock on the top oven.

“You know Morris is going to be here any second, right?” I reminded him, instinctively sorting the pile of mail on his pristine white counter as he took the seat right by me on one of the kitchen stools.

“Nah, I canceled. I needed a quiet house.”

I frowned. “Well, he’s booked till next Sunday and now you’ve got a fridge full of groceries you’re going to waste, because you can’t cook to save your life.”

Adam laughed a little but didn’t hit back. Okay. My frown deepened. Something is very wrong.

I looked around, trying to find any sort of hint as to why he was so somber. But as soon as my eyes returned to his letter in the dining room, he said something about cleaning up his shit before getting up and collecting the stationery and envelope off the table.

Curiously, I watched him.

I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen Adam in a mood so shortly after another mood. They were usually spaced farther apart, but I also didn’t doubt his mom was raising increasing amounts of hell every day. The one time I met her, she was cold and frosty and spent most of the lunch talking only to Holland, and in low mutters that were not for the rest of us to hear. Possessive didn’t even begin to describe Jeannie Maxwell, so I could only imagine what she was like these days given she still hadn’t gotten in contact with Holland.

“Jump drive for you,” I said when Adam got back, and once I set it in his palm, I made the announcement that I had just decided on two seconds ago. “I’m going to meal prep for you tonight.”

Adam’s eyebrows lifted as he cracked a smile. “AJ, you definitely don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I want to. Consider it a thank you for helping me exorcise Caspar yesterday.”

Adam smirked. “I’m pretty sure you already thanked me. In fact, I haven’t finished thanking you.”

Something fluttered inside me, and I bit back a smile as he tugged me gently over to him by the pocket of my jeans.

“Adam,” I said softly. I was definitely happy to see that he was okay enough to still be thinking about this, but mustering every ounce of good behavior in me, I removed his hand from my pocket and set it back in his lap. “That won’t be happening right now,” I said.

I’d actually meant to say “that won’t be happening,” as in at all, but the last two words just slipped in, and I tried to tell myself it didn’t make an actual difference.

Adam’s blue eyes glinted as he read my inner turmoil with ease. “You don’t want me to?”

“No,” I replied fast, absently organizing his mail again. And though I wasn’t looking at him, I could hear the smile he broke into, which made me want to smile too.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want me to make you come again.”

I wet my lips, which reluctantly curved at the edges. And though I didn’t look up at him, I did answer.

“I do want it,” I said quietly, as if there were other people in the room. “But I can’t afford to know how good that feels.”

“Why not?” Adam asked.

Because.

Because I just got chewed out by my sister for sleeping with you this morning.

Because I’m afraid of feeling more than whatever I’m feeling now, which I’m pretty sure is already too much.

“Because you’re my boss,” I finally replied, looking up at him. It seemed like a pretty solid reason. “But anyway.” He looked amused as I changed the subject. “I’m going to cook for you now.”

“As long as you stay and eat with me.”

“I can do that,” I said before going over to his fridge and having a look at the groceries. “Okay. Where’s your cast iron?”

“What’s that?”

I turned around and laughed at the earnest cluelessness on his face. “It’s a pan, Adam.”

“Sorry. I’ve been kitchen illiterate my whole life.”

“Really?” I laughed as I started opening all the drawers and cabinets to look for everything I needed.

“Yes. I feel like that shouldn’t surprise you.”

“Well, on TV you’d always see jock boys like you constantly raiding the fridge and eating everything in sight.”

“Yeah, well, I generally avoided the kitchen and downstairs as much as possible. Unless Iain was over. And even then we did our best to be upstairs or outside.”

The mental image I had in my head sharpened as he talked about nights he’d crashed in the pool house with Iain. I hadn’t known that particular detail. What I knew was that in college and law school, Adam couldn’t be motivated to visit for holidays unless he was allowed to bring a friend. I’d always figured it was a boredom thing, but I should’ve known bringing Iain was also for mere survival’s sake.

Well, at least that eventually worked out for Holland, I thought to myself, freshly charmed by the thought that many years later, she managed to land her dream crush from her childhood.

“I take it all this was to avoid your mom?” I asked as I located the cutting boards.

“Yeah.”

I couldn’t help shaking my head a little. I knew that Adam’s relationship with Jeannie was rocky, but I could never really wrap my mind around just how awful it was.

Or more importantly, why.

“Were you really that bad of a kid?” I asked cautiously, half-expecting that Adam would say “dungeon” and move on. But instead he laughed.

“Between you and Emily, you were considered the bad kid right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And what was the worst thing you ever did?”

“Ummm.” I had to think about it. “My parents wouldn’t let me go to this party one night, so I snuck out my window to go. And then I got too drunk at the party and passed out with my friend somewhere in the house. And my parents thought I was missing till probably noon the next day, which is when I finally woke up and texted that I was alive.”

Adam nodded through my story, a smile glinting in his eyes as he no doubt imagined the scene. But the look faded away as he spoke again.

“When I was in high school, my dad got my mom a new car for Christmas and I took it on a joy ride a week later and totaled it,” he said, making my eyes widen. “Probably on purpose,” he added.

“What does that mean? That you kind of knew what you were doing when you crashed it?”

“Yeah. I knew what generally happened when I drove that fast.”

I nodded, trying not to look too fazed. I actually wasn’t. I knew about the “speed demon” side of Adam from Holland. He and Iain had both been like that. Adrenaline junkies with a taste for recklessness. I knew Adam had stayed that way all through law school, but forcibly toned it down once he was promoted to agent at Engelman when he was twenty-five.

“That’s not too bad,” I said as I washed the vegetables. “But I know you used to fight a lot before you started having clients too,” I added. He’d actually met Iain mid-bar brawl. “And I’m sure those stories would horrify me more since you’d actually, you know, hurt people.”

“Yeah.”

I peered up at him in the middle of scrubbing, but he was spacing out as he played with the jump drive. I had kind of hoped he would detail the stories of the fights he got into, because I was starting to realize that all these events in his life weren’t just due to him being “wild” or “a party animal” as he was often described at the office, mostly for the way he could rage till dawn with clients after events.

It definitely wasn’t just that. There were definitely more demons in Adam’s past than he liked to let on, and though I’d sensed that before, I’d never quite felt the need to fully know and understand it till now.

But as curious as I was, I didn’t bother asking.

To start, I didn’t want to sink him deeper into this mood on a Sunday night before the start of a busy week. Plus, I knew I’d probably just get that shrug and the generic line that had always driven his sister crazy. “I was just a bad kid.” That was it. The explanation for why his mother was abusive. Why she raised Holland like a prisoner.

I was back to quietly cursing her in my head when Adam asked about Caspar.

“He still bothering you at all?”

It said something when I was actually thankful to get Jeannie out of my head with the topic of my ex.

“Nope. I think you officially scared him off, but if you didn’t, I wouldn’t know, because I blocked him today,” I said brightly, placing a wet paper towel under the cutting board before I started chopping.

“Nice,” Adam said, but when I heard the tinge of strangeness in his voice, I looked up.

“What?”

“What?”

“You said that weirdly.”

“I said one word,” he argued, but he lost steam halfway through the sentence because he knew I knew better. “Fine. It’s just… I never told you something,” he said, grimacing as he rubbed the back of his neck. I stopped cutting.

“What?”

“The week you were getting ready to surprise Caspar, I was pretty sure I saw him on La Brea with some girl. I don’t know if it was the blue hair girl, because she was wearing a hoody. But the guy definitely looked like Caspar and I felt like I should’ve given you a heads up, but Holland said not to if I wasn’t a hundred percent sure, especially because you were so excited for his birthday that week, and I just…” He held his hands out as he tried to figure out his words, but then he let them fall back into his lap. “I don’t know. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you. But you wound up getting hurt anyway. And I probably could’ve warned you.”

I blinked at him, nodding as I took in all the information. And by information I meant the fact that he looked this level of stressed out right now over this total non-issue, and the fact that he’d been so mixed up about it the other week that he had actually consulted with Holland.

When I realized he’d cared this much before we’d ever even slept together, I almost wanted to make a face.

Great. I might’ve actually been better off not knowing that, I thought, because it made my heart melt to imagine my arrogant prick of a boss actually having a quiet meltdown over my wellbeing, and I really didn’t need to be any further endeared to him right now.

“You’re pissed,” Adam said to break the silence. I laughed.

“Not even,” I said, suppressing the urge to just round the counter right now and plant a giant kiss on his forehead. “I really do appreciate the concern, Adam, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not sure it would’ve changed things at the time and at this point, I’m just done thinking about Caspar. Yesterday was pretty good closure,” I said, warmth in my cheeks as I remembered the words Adam had said yesterday. The speech he made that I told myself was all an act, despite the fact that I was pretty sure it wasn’t. “And even if there wasn’t that closure, I could never look at him the same after all those completely shitty things he said.”

I’d barely finished my sentence before the thought of Schilling popped up.

Ugh. I wrinkled my nose. And for the next thirty seconds, the topic of what Caspar said lingered palpably in the air, the whole house silent save for the sounds of basketball and my chopping.

Peering up, I smirked. “Wow. I’m impressed,” I said.

“What?”

“You usually have zero impulse control but you’re refraining from asking me about the whole Schilling comment he made.”

Adam laughed. “If I had zero impulse control, you would’ve been naked and fucked on multiple surfaces of the office already,” he said with such confidence that I felt a little shudder. “But yeah,” he relented after another second of silence. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about whatever happened with him.”

Him. As in Simon Schilling.

Everyone in the sports world knew his name. Back when I knew him, he was just a superstar agent. Now he was the VP of Roth Talent Agency.

Also known as RTA, our direct competition.

“I met him when I was a sophomore. He was my professor for sports law,” I said before explaining just how coveted that particular course was.

Everyone in my major scrambled to get that class every year, because everyone knew that Schilling always awarded one lucky student an internship with RTA that included a front row seat to the MLB Winter Meetings—which was basically heaven for anyone interested in the business side of baseball.

“We learned negotiation strategies, participated in mock negotiations.”

“I’m assuming you crushed that shit.”

“I was definitely top of the class,” I said, grinning when Adam held up his hand for a high five, which I swiftly returned before getting into the race for the internship. “We had to draft up the best mock contract, and everyone knew it was between me and this kid Corbin because we were the top two students. But between us, Schilling was always heaping more praise on me. Constantly spotlighting me and my work.”

Adam nodded slower now, and I mentally commended him for feeling wary this early in the story, because he was right to. But at the time, even Emily hadn’t suspected anything was fishy.

“I wound up landing the internship and after, Schilling invited me out to meet with him and some other agents from RTA. The first meeting went well. But the second time, it was just us two and Schilling started doing these… little things that I recognized as early trouble.”

I wasn’t looking at Adam as I detailed everything, because I was sliding two baking trays into the oven. But I could actually feel his heated disdain, his rising anger as I talked about how Schilling started doing the things that all girls knew as warning signs, like touching my shoulder a lot. Putting his hand on my back when there was no reason to at all. He even asked if I had a boyfriend and mused about how much attention I probably got for being an attractive woman in a male-dominated field.

“I told my guy friends, but they said it was no big deal and it wasn’t worth getting up in arms about. Basically, they told me not to blow the opportunity by being sensitive and just look past it.”

“Did you?”

I looked up at Adam, feeling a tinge of regret as I said, “Yes. Just out of sheer hope that I was overreacting, because I really wanted that internship. I just wanted to learn. It was RTA. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

Adam nodded, that handsome little frown knit in his brow. “Of course. I understand,” he said.

And while I knew he did, I still took a little while to muster up the strength for the rest of the story, because it’d been awhile since I’d said it aloud. Probably college, actually.

But after getting everything in the oven and grabbing the chicken from the fridge, I went into the start of my internship. How it had been amazing at first.

“I learned so much so fast that it felt like a whole semester of college compressed into one week. It was exhilarating. I loved it so much. But at the same time, I knew my gut feeling about Schilling was right, because he kept it super professional at RTA and barely spoke to me at the office, but at school, he’d always flip a switch and ask me to hang back after class. He started letting his gaze wander more openly. And then he started make comments about how as a woman, I actually had an advantage because I could showcase my ‘assets.’ To catch the eye of future clients.”

The string of expletives that Adam muttered under his breath was so full of disgust and fury that I opted not to say the rest of that part, which was that Schilling would always take that time to drop his eyes to my chest and let them linger.

“At this point, I pretty much knew I was in a bad spot, but I also knew I had only my word against his, and more often than not, he was professional around me, so I essentially just prayed every day that he’d behave so I could keep studying what I loved and showing up to this job I adored without any trouble.”

“But he tried to get you in bed?” Adam asked tightly. I looked up at him.

“Yeah,” I said, which was the short version.

The long version was that Schilling had lured me to stay one day after class by giving me a real, recently-negotiated Major League contract to look at.

In the middle of reading it, of course, he placed his hand on my upper thigh.

I still remembered so distinctly being immediately horrified, but finishing reading my sentence first. I couldn’t understand why. Maybe as a way to try and convince myself that I was okay. That this moment of shock and horror might go away. I had been completely paralyzed.

But as soon as he started rubbing my thigh, I’d stood up and walked out.

“Obviously, I rejected his advances,” I said. “And the next time I tried showing up to my internship at RTA, they told me I had been dismissed. And then the next time I showed up at class, everyone was congratulating Corbin for landing the internship, because Schilling chose him to replace me.”

My throat briefly tightened when I remembered that day. How gutted I’d felt even before Schilling addressed the class about Corbin, speaking of “hypothetical” situations, and how in this industry, you always had to be ready to seize an opportunity, because you never knew what was going to happen. “The reality is there are often people who get the job, but aren’t actually suited for the position. Sometimes it’s nepotism or luck... or looks…”

For all to see, his eyes landed on me as he said that word.

“I’m going to kill that motherfucker,” Adam said seriously when I got to that part. I laughed.

“Trust me, I had these thoughts. And so did Emily, actually. But you’re not going to kill him. He’s kind of huge in this town. I don’t think you could get away with it.”

“I’d find a way.”

“Stop,” I snorted.

“I hope you knew then that it was bullshit,” Adam said, changing the subject back fast. “You know you earned that internship.”

The edges of my lips quivered as I adjusted to being serious again.

“I know,” I said softly, my eyes back on the cutting board as I seasoned. “But it still fucks with you a little. It just… robs you of your triumphs, you know? All your achievements. Were they legit or were they just handed to you? I know I earned it, but does everyone else?” Shaking my head, I heaved a big sigh. “It shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks, right?” I asked with a rueful smile as I looked up at him. “But you know how it is in this town. This industry. It shouldn’t matter. But it does.”

“I know,” Adam said solemnly, still frowning so hard that I just wanted to reach over and touch his face.

God, why does he have to be such a cute listener?

“Is this why you’re so patient about it?” he asked.

“About what? Not getting promoted?” I arched an eyebrow. “Yeah. I mean at the start of every season, Engelman promotes someone, and I’ve seen five go by where it’s not me. Granted, I don’t think I really deserved it till the last few years, but it still sucks to hear the buzz right now being that Davis is going to get it, since he only started last year,” I said honestly. “But I just keep my head down and work, and just stay patient, because I need to know that when I’m rewarded, it’s because I earned it. That nothing was handed to me.”

“Of course,” Adam said, his voice still serious, a murmur. I could feel his gaze on me right now, but I only peered up a little to give him a teasing smile.

“You gonna go crash a car out of anger now?”

He snorted. “Maybe. I’ve definitely never crashed a car into a house before. Where does Schilling live again?”

“Shut up,” I laughed, but quickly, the humor was gone from his face.

“Do I ever make you worry?” Adam asked.

“What do you mean? Do you ever worry me the way Schilling did?” I said incredulously. “Adam, no. Schilling fired me when I wouldn’t sleep with him. He gaslit me and made me doubt my own skills. You’re literally the opposite.”

“Thank God. But how do you mean?”

“Well, with you, I know my employment doesn’t hinge on me sleeping with you, considering we went five years not doing anything close to that,” I said with a smile. “Plus, you’ve given me more responsibility and opportunity than any of my fellow assistants get. I know hundreds of other assistants, Adam. I know not every boss out there is like you.”

I laughed. “Yeah, trust me, I never would’ve guessed you’d be this good of a boss based on my first impression of you.”

“Wow, alright. Well that was nice while it lasted,” he said, pretending to be offended. “And what was your first impression of me?”

“Honestly? That you were hot as fuck, but definitely an asshole that was used to getting away with everything.”

“Accurate.”

I snorted. “And what was your first impression of me?”

He smirked. “I got a look of you from way down the hall, before you ever laid eyes on me. So between us, I was actually the first one to have inappropriate thoughts.”

I looked surprised enough that he laughed, but before I could ask for details about that, Adam informed me that my pan was smoking, and I gasped as I remembered the fact that I was heating up oil on the cast iron.

It was only after I’d cooked the chicken thighs, packed them with the vegetables and batched several mason jars’ worth of overnight oats that I found the time to think back on what he’d said about first impressions.

I wanted so badly to ask what his inappropriate thoughts were, but I also knew they’d get me riled up in a way I couldn’t afford to be, because I really couldn’t figure out what I was doing here with Adam.

Even in a best-case scenario where we were say, dating, it’d still look bad. I was his assistant and despite being just an assistant, I’d earned a fair amount of respect at the office. But that would be gone if people knew we were sleeping together. Assumptions about unearned opportunities and preferential treatment would be made, and I of all people knew how much that shit sucked.

So I kept the conversation light as we ate together, talking about the game on TV, and a little bit about Knox. I warded off the barrage of sexual thoughts when Adam got up to get water from the fridge, treating me to the view of his very noticeable bulge in those sweats, and despite getting very hot and bothered, I managed not to writhe or squirm when he came up behind me to refill my glass.

But God, the heat of his chest against my back was damn near electric, and all I wanted was to feel him touch me. Anywhere.

It was honestly a miracle that I managed to survive dinner, though just to be safe, I got up as soon as we finished eating, citing the time—past 10PM—for why I had to get going so fast.

“Yeah, definitely,” Adam had said, following me to the door.

And for a moment, it felt like I was really going to get out of here unscathed, without a new incident to make me toss and turn tonight, sleepless and breathless in my bed. I was almost convinced.

But then I felt a shiver up my spine when he said, “Hey.”

“Yeah?” I turned around, a knot jumping into my throat when I found Adam standing right behind me, our toes barely a foot from each other. God. Standing this close put such an emphasis on his height. How much I had to lift my chin to finally meet his dark blue gaze, which was relaxed yet searching as he looked at me. His eyes moved from mine to my lips, then my throat as I swallowed, needing to steel myself through the thickness of the silence before he finally said, “Thanks for tonight. I needed it.”

His voice was such a low, husky murmur that I felt immediately hot. Swallowing again, I smiled.

“Of course,” I said lightly, a tingle darting over my skin.

Then it was back to quiet, our bright eyes dancing on each other for the next two seconds. But on the third, our bodies collided, his shirt in my fists and his lips crushed against mine. His fingers laced in my hair, Adam rubbed his cock against me, all while our tongues stroked against each other, licking and laving with all inhibitions thrown to the wind, as if we’d kissed each other a thousand times. As if this were nothing new to us at all.

For what felt like an entire night of its own, we kissed by the door, our hands smoothing over each other then grasping at each other tightly, greedily, like we couldn’t bring our bodies close enough.

And when he pulled away first, I understood, because I felt every hard inch of why he needed to, and I was half-relieved myself. But with his forehead resting on mine, I let my hands slide to the back of his neck, tipping my chin up gently and returning my lips to his for one more kiss—softer this time.

I savored the warmth of his breath when he breathed out after, exhaling like he was expelling the stress of the entire day.

When our eyes glowed on each other again, he looked loose. Relaxed with a heavy-lidded gaze. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he murmured.

I smiled. “Goodnight.”

Then, turning around before I didn’t, I left, glancing over my shoulder once to wave to Adam as he stood by the door. I focused hard once I got into my car and pulled out of his driveway, but as soon as I was around the corner, I pulled over just to catch my breath, because it legitimately felt like I was driving under the influence—which actually seemed like a pretty good metaphor for what I was doing right now.

I was playing with fire. Being totally reckless. And as always, I knew better.

But for once, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

19

ADAM

“So, when’s that cranky son of a bitch coming for a visit? Tomorrow? Thursday?”

I laughed at Don Engelman’s question despite the fact that he had just been palming his shiny, bald head and was now grabbing the signed baseball from my desk to toss to himself—something I let him do solely because he owned the whole goddamned company.

“He’s coming tomorrow,” I said, referring to Knox, whose potential signing had flown previously under the radar here. But now Engelman himself had a personal stake in it, for reasons most anyone in the sports industry, but especially I, could relate to:

Fucking RTA.

“Well, you let me know what you need from me, son. I’ll do the meet-and-greet. Show him around. The whole shebang. He got a girlfriend? I’ll find him one.”

I snorted. “He’s all set in that department, but I appreciate the offer and I’m sure I’ll take you up on the rest—pending whatever his stupid fucking mood is that day,” I said. Engelman gave a belly laugh.

“You better keep tabs on that stupid fucking mood of his. Text him. Ask him what we can do for him. We’ll get anyone in this town to cater the meeting. Sky’s the limit,” he said before plunking my baseball back onto my desk and seeing himself out.

I laughed as I watched him waddle down the hall.

Despite the baseball thing, I did appreciate my boss’s new interest in Knox. In fact, for as busy as it was, this week was actually going fairly well despite my personal life trying to drive me up a goddamned wall.

Having AJ around obviously helped.

Saved me, really.

It had always been the case in the past, but this week, the feeling was multiplied a thousand times, because between the new background drama unfolding in my life and the scrambling to move up meetings, prepare for Knox and keep up with the often needy and dramatic clients I already had, I’d felt my patience wear thin about a thousand times since Monday. But every time I was close to snapping, AJ sensed it and strolled into my office, making a list of everything agitating me then addressing each bullet point separately to tell me exactly why it wasn’t a big deal and why we were going to have it handled.

That part was what she’d always done in the past. Of course, this week, I got to enjoy a few added bonuses to that routine.

Namely those lips I couldn’t stop thinking about since she came over Sunday night.

They always came with her hand resting softly on my chest as she leaned over my chair, and I didn’t know what the hell it was about that combination, but it was like taking a hit of something powerful. So good you had to sit for a little after and just breathe and relax.

I was actually still riding the high of her last kiss about an hour ago, which explained my ease when Engelman rubbed his dirty paws all over one of my more prized possessions.

But as it turned out, I’d be in desperate need of another hit in an hour.

And surprise, surprise, it was because of Knox.

After Engelman left, I’d texted to see if we could provide anything for him tomorrow morning, and an hour later, he sent a casually infuriating text.

KNOX: Forgot to tell you I can’t make tomorrow

I’d stared at the message for what felt like a full minute, reminding myself that there was no asking a potential client what the fuck his problem was.

ME: That’s unfortunate. What day can we reschedule to?

This time, his reply came quickly.

KNOX: Don’t need to. Thanks

I dragged my hand over my face.

“What the fuck?” I hissed under my breath, and again when I tried Knox only to be sent straight to voicemail.

I was trying again when AJ walked in with her eyebrow arched.

“Knox canceled tomorrow and said he doesn’t want to reschedule,” I said when I hung up. “He isn’t picking up either.

She stared. “That fucking asshole. Are you kidding me?”

“I wish I was. He’s such goddamned difficult prick.”

“I mean it’s his reputation for a reason. Remind me again why we’re so eager to sign this dickhead?”

I rubbed my tight jaw as I reminded myself of the reasons. Because I’ve been quietly tracking him for years.

Because whether I like it or not, he and I have some very important things in common.

The unfortunate thought crossed my mind just as he finally texted again.

KNOX: I’m going with RTA. Meeting them tomorrow

AJ

THE SAME FOUR words rang through my head in the past hour.

Poor Adam. Fuck Knox.

Rinse and repeat.

At this point, I was working at my desk with my every sense tuned into Adam’s temper as we both waited for Knox to call back, just so Adam could convince him to take a second meeting with us tomorrow, before making any final decisions.

I lied—it was six words.

Because fuck RTA was also finding its way into the mix.

Fuck RTA. And Schilling. And my classmate, Corbin, who had replaced me in that internship, and was promoted to agent at RTA two years ago. Admittedly, I’d Internet stalked one random night to find that out. But thankfully, those nights were few and far between, because my goals were about making myself proud, not doing better than others.

But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t indulge in a quick Google of my old classmate just now and have a peep at his blog. His client list was mostly minor leaguers that he touted as “foolishly overlooked.” Mark my words. Corbin Mathews is representing a future World Series MVP.

Not before I do, I instinctively thought just as I heard the sound of Adam’s phone ring once before he picked up.

“Knox. Talk to me.”

I stilled, listening to the silence that followed, but quickly sensing Adam’s fury just from the way he said “is that right.”

Uh-oh.

I knew he’d been particularly stressed all week with whatever was happening in his family, and beyond that, it wasn’t hard to sense that something about Knox just set him off. I didn’t know what that was at this particular moment, but I did know I needed Adam to be calm in order to convince Knox to meet us tomorrow.

So getting up, I went into his office to find him in full Angry Adam mode, his rigid shoulders looking broader than ever as he sat forward at his desk, leaning on his elbow while holding his phone in front of his face like he wanted to watch himself crush it.

I barely finished mouthing easy before he was mouthing back I’m going to kill him.

I laughed, “Breathe,” I whispered, rounding over to his side of the desk to get a better listen on Knox.

“Nothing personal, man. Just figure if I have to have some suit telling me what to do, I should at least get one from the biggest agency out there,” he said as I leaned myself against Adam’s desk. “And in case you didn’t realize, you guys are a distant second to RTA.”

Adam’s jaw clenched just as his steely eyes locked like magnets on my chest. They were right at his eye level and I had to smirk over the fact that he still had time to notice my body while looking simultaneously like he might punch a hole in the wall.

“Knox, they didn’t even know who you were until they heard Engelman Sports was interested,” Adam said in a tone so curt I practically heard Knox bristle.

Okay, breathe, Adam. Dial it way back, I wanted to say.

But I couldn’t actually say it without Knox hearing, so instead, I opted to bring Adam’s eyes back to me.

With my hand curled toward my body, I undid the buttons of my shirt. Slowly, one by one, my little smile spreading with satisfaction as I watched Adam’s heated gaze follow my hand, fixated on it till I had my shirt open enough to flash my lacy white bra.

I tried not to giggle at the sight of his gaze looking instantly heavier. Practically drugged.

And when he spoke again, his voice was audibly calmer. Much more relaxed.

“I hate to say it, but that’s just their MO at RTA. They only show interest once another agency does, because their game is blocking others,” Adam said, glancing briefly out the door before returning his lusty eyes to my bra. I smiled as I watched his free hand drop under the desk, his chest expanding under his pale blue shirt as he breathed deeper while stroking up and down the back of my thigh. “It’s all about keeping the highest numbers at RTA, and the last thing you need to be is another number on a never-ending roster of clients.”

“Yeah, well…” Even without an argument prepared, Knox was hell-bent on being defiant. I bit my lip, Adam stroking his thumb along my inner thigh, both of us smirking at each other as we listened to Knox search for something to say. “I think it’s just a better match at RTA,” he finally concluded. “They just know me better.”

“I can tell you now they don’t,” Adam countered easily, glancing out the door again before slipping his hand up my skirt. There was a light pulsing in my clit as I spread my legs wider, letting Adam rub his fingertips against my wet panties as I tugged lightly down at the lacy cups of my bra, teasing him till he lifted his eyes to me and mouthed show me.

For some reason, I didn’t think twice about obliging. And when I did, I watched Adam’s blue eyes practically glaze over with lust—and a hint of surprise, like he hadn’t actually expected me to listen.

Oops, I thought. But as crazy as it was, no one outside could tell what I was doing, and I didn’t regret it. Especially as I watched Adam wet his lips as he stared in awe, soaking me in, taking so long to follow up on what he was saying to Knox that I was afraid he’d forgotten. But he didn’t.

“They know how to tell you what you want to hear, but they don’t actually know jack about you, Knox,” he said before rattling off a small handful of the things he knew off the top of his head. Specific stats and injuries. Management preferences. The teams Knox’s girlfriend approved for him to sign with, because she could easily transfer her job there.

All this while he felt up my tits.

My mouth hung slightly open as I finally felt a bit of the shock of the situation, mostly because I could still hear everyone working as normal right outside. Footsteps. Phone calls. Usual chatter. The sounds of the busy office were still clear as day as Adam fondled my naked breasts, massaging gently one second then rougher the other, moving his hand back and forth between them and rolling my nipples between his fingers.

His voice was normal, at total ease as he spoke to Knox. But I could see him getting hard as he played with my tits, and as soon as my eyes made out the full outline of his dick, he got up from his desk to go and shut the door.

Oh boy.

My pulse picked up and I bit a nervous grin back as I heard Adam’s footsteps return.

My thighs pumped when I caught his hard-on snaked down his pants as he returned, and I practically moaned in relief when I watched him put the call on mute as Knox started rambling. All I wanted was to climb on top of him. To taste his lips as I rubbed my aching sex against his erection.

But with a nod toward his desk, Adam murmured, “Get on there and spread your legs for me.”

I stared at him, blinking for a few seconds, because I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant. Like… get up on all fours or sit facing him?

I wanted to ask, but just then he took Knox off mute to address some misinformed point he’d made about endorsement deals. But even as he spoke, Adam looked at me expectantly, sitting back in his chair, stroking his dick over his pants and waiting for me. So without waiting another second, I hiked my skirt up—just enough so that I could spread my legs as I perched my butt against the edge of the desk.

But judging from the way Adam didn’t move, his lips pressed firmly into a line as he looked at me, that wasn’t what he wanted. I snorted. What? I mouthed.

He took a second to smirk at my nervous cluelessness before grasping my waist, hoisting me up on his desk and sitting me farther back, his lustful eyes on my wide ones as he positioned me to his liking.

Once he had me propped up on my elbows, he made me lift my hips, pulling off my panties and slipping them into his pocket before draping my legs over his wide shoulders. Okay, holy fuck. I breathed jaggedly as it all happened in a rush. I’d been naked in his office before, but I’d never felt this exposed. It was daylight. I could hear voices right outside the door. Yet here I was, my boss’s head between my legs, cold air hitting my pussy as Adam rolled his chair back.

And latched his mouth onto my clit.

“Adam!”

He hit mute just as I gasped at the sensation, moaning as he sucked, forcing my stomach muscles to start fluttering already. I tipped my head back, keeping the image of his face buried between my legs as I closed my eyes, mouth open but forcing myself not to moan as I felt the wet warmth of his tongue pulsing against me, and heard the metal jangling of him jerking his belt undone.

He licked me up and down as he started jerking off, dragging the flat of his tongue up my wet length, swirling it around and around and giving low, quiet groans before murmuring about how wet I was. How fucking good I tasted.

It all just felt unreal.

Like a fantasy.

Especially as he took Knox off mute and kept talking, slowly getting through to him between his stroking, wet licks of my pussy. And with my head tipped back, I could hardly tell when he was taking the call off mute and putting him back on. All I heard was him speaking normally to Knox one second then loudly sucking on my clit the next. It was as nerve-wracking as it was arousing, and I swore I could’ve come a dozen times already. But desperately, I held out, my stomach clenching and my nails scraping uselessly against the smooth surface of his desk, especially as he slid his fingers inside me—one at first, then another and another—rumbling again about my wetness, the sound of pleasure and approval in his voice as he started pumping and sucking at once, all while furiously jangling that belt buckle as he jerked himself off.

As soon as he hung up with Knox, I came, dizzy as pleasure escaped my lips in desperate little gasps that I tried to keep as quiet as possible, but I was only half-successful. I couldn’t help the delirious moan that slipped out as I stayed spread on Adam’s desk, coming down from my heights while listening to him edge toward his own.

His breaths were growing shorter, harsher, and I wasn’t sure what come over me when I decided to kneel at his feet. All I knew was that I loved the carnal look in his eyes as he gazed down at me, his teeth gnashed and his upper lip curling as he gave two more pumps of his dick before streaking my tits in thick ribbons of cum.

Holy God, I want to remember that face forever, I thought as I studied Adam, his jaw hanging open and his eyebrows sloping as he breathed out sounds of such low, gravelly, ridiculously sexy pleasure I just wanted to come all over again.

But instead I rubbed my breasts, spreading him all over my skin and making his eyes widen as he shook his head, still stroking himself gently as he watched me.

Admittedly, it took awhile to get cleaned up.

But it could’ve taken longer, considering how tempted I was to go for round two as I kissed Adam deeply while buttoning up my shirt, smiling against his lips as he muttered under his breath, almost angrily, about how fucking perfect I was.

“I don’t know what the fuck I would do without you.”

He said those words with his fingers threaded in my hair, and they were the last ones he spoke before we were interrupted, and before I rushed to get back to my desk, an utterly casual look on my face as I scanned the office.

Only once I confirmed that everyone was still going about their day—not even looking in my direction, let alone at me—I cracked a smile. Just a small one that was entirely for myself, because I knew what Adam and I just did was crazy.

But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love every second of it.

20

ADAM

I had a specific task to finish while I was here, but that wasn’t happening for a variety of reasons, starting with the fact that Engelman wouldn’t stop anxiously texting me about Knox coming in today.

Which was actually doubly distracting, because naturally, texts on that topic got me thinking about my conversation with Knox in my office yesterday—in particular, what I was doing when I persuaded him to meet us today.

Yeah, nice try, buddy, but not right now, I told my dick, firmly willing it back down as I sat for breakfast on the half-full patio at Gizzy’s.

The place was a little white shack of a building with blue shutters, potted greenery in every corner, and big flowering cactuses flanking the front entrance. Lights were strung above the picnic tables and wicker chairs that decorated the outdoor patio where I’d sat every morning since the place opened four years ago.

In that time, I’d watched it turn into a fairly popular brunch spot. But thankfully, it was less crowded on the weekdays, giving me space to get in some much-needed alone time before I launched into another day of nonstop meetings, video calls and shooting the shit.

It was like I lived a second life here.

None of the other regulars here knew me as Adam Maxwell from Engelman. Instead, I was just the guy who came in solo every morning and sat in the corner near the owner’s dogs, Rocky and Ruby. Ruby was the massive, majestic German Shepherd, and though I preferred big dogs, I was partial to Rocky the chug. He was sixteen, arthritic and going blind in both eyes, but otherwise he was pretty damned healthy. He kept a heating pad under his bed to help with the arthritis pain and had completed hydrotherapy to lose a whopping three pounds last year.

So, yeah.

This was the kind of dumb shit I cared about at Gizzy’s.

And honestly, it was nice. There were days when the stress still managed to creep into my time here, but for the most part, this weird little place place was my haven.

“Hey, you. Special delivery from the kitchen.”

I looked up to see my waitress, Samantha, making room on my table for a small plate of two freshly baked cinnamon rolls that I realized I’d been smelling the buttery scent of for the past ten minutes.

“Goddamn, that looks good,” I said. “Please thank Heidi for me, but would you also let her know that I’m—”

“Stuffed? She knows,” Samantha giggled, producing a take-out box from behind her back. “She said try a bit now, take the rest to work and give one to your assistant,” she instructed, her big smile sparkling on me for a few seconds before her flirty eyes looked back down at the table. “That’s some classy stationery you go there. Never thought I’d see someone like you write snail mail,” she mused. “Love letter?”

I laughed. “Not quite.”

“Well. Love letter or not, there’s always something very romantic about writing by hand,” she said, practically beaming at me. “My grandma always said that letters by hand come from the heart.”

I lifted my eyebrows to humor her, which I did in some form pretty much every Wednesday when she was my waitress. “Yeah?”

“Mm-hm! I mean it obviously takes more effort than just sending a text. When you write by hand, you just mean it more,” she said brightly. “You know?”

I nodded. “Yeah, maybe,” I said. And maybe I didn’t do as good a job humoring her this time, because she laughed sheepishly.

“Well, either way, I think whoever receives that letter is going to feel very lucky,” she said, biting her lip at me before she bounced on her heel and walked away.

Yeah.

I highly doubt that, I thought as I looked back down at my half-written letter. But before I could try and get another line in, my phone pinged with a text.

KNOX: You know what I decided to take you up on your offer.

I stared at it for a second, unsure of what offer Knox was even talking about. But before I could ask, he followed up.

KNOX: Been jonesing for a date shake from Judy’s in Palm Springs. RTA couldn’t come through on that request but something tells me you will.

“For Christ’s sake,” I said aloud.

There were a hundred places to get a good date shake, but he wanted one from the place two hours away.

I was in the middle of suggesting a closer spot when he texted again.

KNOX: And don’t try to save time by going to the spot in Newport Beach

KNOX: That place is trash

Alright.

Sucking in a deep breath, I heaved a sigh, drumming my fingers on the table and just breathing for a minute, because God, I couldn’t stand this fucking asshole.

He blatantly reveled in being immature. Acting as intolerable as possible, because he didn’t actually want an agent. It was painfully clear that he hated agents and any type of person whose advice he had to heed. It was why he initially hired his hometown buddy to be his agent, and of course, that dumbass move was precisely how he got himself stuck in a shitty, incentive-based contract that paid him according to the number of innings he pitched—which looked great on paper, assuming he remained a starter throughout his contract.

But surprise, surprise, he did not.

Because no one fucking likes you, Knox, I thought, trying my hand at immaturity for a second. But it didn’t feel as good as I’d hoped, so instead I got myself together, reminding myself that as much as I hated him—as much as I didn’t need the commission from his contract—he was still very much worth the trouble.

And still someone I desperately wanted to sign.

So grabbing my phone, I went to text AJ, simply sending her the screenshots of Knox’s texts, to which she replied immediately.

AJ: Oh my God

AJ: What a dick. That shake is forever away

AJ: But don’t worry. I got this

I laughed at her reaction, feeling myself breathing easier already.

But I shouldn’t have been surprised.

This was how it had always been. This wasn’t even the weirdest thing AJ had gone to get for one of my clients. Usually, she went alone on these excursions.

But this time, I felt like sharing the burden.

ADAM: I’ll come with you. Meet me downstairs in 30 minutes

21

AJ

The date shake place was two hours away. That made the trip four hours back and forth. It was 10AM now, the meeting was at at 3PM sharp, and honestly, I doubted that Knox had even asked RTA to get the shake first. He was just doing this because he knew he had the power to slightly fuck with us right now.

And it would’ve been the worst if I weren’t perfectly happy to go on a mini adventure with Adam this morning.

“Here you go. Just these three things?”

Handing me a cooler, a bag of ice and a long spoon was the manager from the restaurant in the lobby of our building, which was so used to agents requesting weird things last minute that they didn’t even think twice about providing it.

“That’s it. Thank you!” I said before heading out the restaurant and the building to see Adam’s Range Rover parked out front.

He had a hell of a cute smile waiting for me when I got in the passenger seat.

“Morning,” he said, his eyes skimming over my white Oxford shirt and hip-hugging cigarette pants. I smiled back.

“Morning,” I said, trying not to melt under his stare because he was looking at me like he wanted to kiss me.

But he didn’t, and that was fine, because we were still in front of the building, and there were other important things to do, like get snacks.

It didn’t matter what time of day it was—snacks were customary for every car ride at least two hours long. I didn’t even have to say a word for Adam to know to drop by my quesataco truck, and it didn’t even matter that we’d both had breakfast recently. It was understood. When the ride was two or more hours long, we got to have car snacks and second coffee.

“What, are these for the way back?” I snorted when Adam somewhat swerved to get out of the way of a crazy driver, then immediately told me to check on the cinnamon rolls in the back. He smirked at my question.

“Yeah. From Heidi. They’re okay?”

I laughed. “Yes, the cinnamon rolls are unharmed. You managed to swerve this giant-ass car very smoothly.”

“Well, I’ve been driving this thing for fifteen years, so I better.”

I nodded absently before pausing. “Wait—what? You’ve been driving this very car since you were seventeen?”

“No, not this one. But it was a pretty similar Range Rover.”

My eyebrows went up. “Well, la dee da,” I teased, making him grin. “I grew up driving a hand-me-down Honda. Which was honestly pretty good for sneaking in and out of the house. I can’t imagine being stealthy with this beast of a car. Even just the flash of my Civic lights coming into the driveway was enough to wake up my mom.”

“Well, my dad was on and off with how hard he tried to stop me from sneaking out. But even when he did have the energy to try and keep me in check, it was still pretty easy ‘cause we had this circle driveway. And my parents’ bedroom faced the backyard anyway.”

“I see,” I said, adding the details to my existing image of Adam’s childhood.

It was always funny thinking about what teenaged Adam was like, because it was the part of him I didn’t really know at all. We didn’t talk often about his childhood in New Jersey because, well, we had about nine million more important things to talk about on a daily basis and beyond that, the topic generally led back to his mom, and how he openly despised her.

Hell, I kind of despised her too. It was why I’d been so active in helping his sister finally carry out her long-hatched secret plan to move out. Adam and I had actually fought constantly over her during that time, bickering about whether it was best for her to live in this neighborhood or that, and whether she should go with my real estate friend or his. In the end, Holland got so sick of our debating that she resorted to an extremely sketchy apartment listing on Craiglist.

Thankfully, it led her to a perfect roommate, who indirectly led her back to Iain’s life.

I smiled as I thought about them, trying to conjure up my most vivid image of the Maxwell household.

“Okay, so Range Rover. Circle driveway. And from what I recall, Iain would crash in your pool house when he stayed over,” I said. Adam peered at me, wearing a quizzical look but already laughing.

“Yeah. What are you getting at?”

“Nothing. I’m just rounding out the already-clear picture I had of who Adam Maxwell was in high school.”

Adam snorted. “Which was what?”

“King of Barton Prep. Life of the party. Drove all his teachers nuts by paying zero attention in class and being a complete dickhead yet somehow always acing the tests. Star of the basketball team. Probably started for the football team too, whether or not he deserved that position.”

Adam laughed. “Shit. You actually nailed it.”

“And just to round out my stereotypical presumptions, I’m going to go ahead and guess that you were prom king.”

“I was not, because Barton Prep was a Catholic all-boys school and we didn’t have time for that dumb bullshit.”

“Oh, well excuse me. I’m just a public school kid who actually had normal things like homecoming and prom.”

“Well, we had prom,” Adam said. “We just didn’t have prom court.”

“I see. And who was your date?”

Adam looked over his shoulder as he switched lanes, and I thought he hadn’t heard my question. But a couple seconds later, he answered, “My girlfriend.”

I blinked.

He glanced at me. “You look surprised.”

“I literally thought you’d never had a girlfriend before in your life.”

“Yeah, well. I did.”

“How long did you date?”

“Three years.”

“Holy shit.” I wasn’t sure why I was so taken aback, but this was blowing my mind. “So most of high school.”

“Yeah. Which I think is considered a decade in high school years.”

I managed a laugh. “Add Adam years to that equation and you were basically married.”

Adam snorted. “Basically.”

I looked at him, trying to gauge if he was actually agreeing with me or just repeating after me absently. Then I asked myself why the hell I was taking this so seriously.

“What was her name?” I asked directly before jumping at the sheer volume of his phone ringing through the Bluetooth of his car.

“Ah, Jesus. Fuckin’ Engelman,” Adam muttered before picking up and getting immediately blasted with Engelman’s voice.

“What the hell is a date shake?” he asked, prompting Adam to groan and me to muffle a laugh.

“It’s a shake, Don. Made of dates. What the hell else would it be?”

I snorted, and as they talked, I checked my texts and work emails, all the while marveling over the fact that only Adam could get away with bitching and moaning and cursing on the phone with the head boss of bosses.

I tried not to laugh as the call stretched on, getting to that point in conversations that Adam hated. Silly stuff unrelated to work. Talking about golf and shooting the shit. It was like a saving grace when Adam’s friend Sully from law school just so happened to call.

“Don, hey. I gotta go, I got a call,” Adam said urgently, assuring Engelman he’d keep him post before hanging up and grinning broadly. “Sully. What’s up, brother.”

But the voice that came back wasn’t Sully. It was a woman’s voice—low and sultry, and dripping with sex while simply saying, “Hey, you.”

Adam and I paused as we stared at the screen. Judging by his quizzical expression, he didn’t recognize the voice. But it hit him quickly enough.

“Naomi,” he finally said.

“Mm-hm. Had to use Sully’s phone to get you to pick up. That’s not very nice,” Naomi said, though the undertones of her words were still very much I’d like you to fuck me—which was honestly fair enough considering they were strictly fuck buddies, and he’d canceled on her last-minute on Sunday night.

The night of that mind-blowing kiss.

That you should not be thinking about right now as he talks to a woman he’s slept with many more times than you, I thought while making a face at Adam, because I hated when he took personal calls on speaker without telling the other party that someone else was listening. Almost done, Adam mouthed as Naomi went on about the swanky hotel she booked.

“That sounds great, but now’s actually not a good time. I’m driving and—”

“Fine, then I’ll make it quick. I decided to extend my stay by a week, because I’m not leaving LA without getting fucked, specifically by you, so call me later, Maxwell, because my pussy’s been waiting,” she said, giving a sexy little “bye-bye” in singsong before hanging up and leaving me to stare ahead at the road for a few awkward seconds.

“So,” I said, solely to break the silence. “Schedule Naomi for Friday then?”

Adam gave a curt laugh. “I’m good.”

“Adam,” I snorted. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend you’re suddenly this pure angel who has no interest in sleeping with other women.”

I looked over at him, but it took several seconds of me looking at him for him to look over at me. And when he did, there was half a smirk on his face, though he didn’t actually look all that amused. In fact, his eyebrows were just slightly lifted in the way they were when he thought someone just did something weird.

“Alright,” Adam said slowly, in a tone that made me feel especially weird.

And that was it.

Wait. Seriously?

In the silence that followed, I couldn’t help staring somewhat crankily out the windshield, because I’d said what I’d said, and I had certainly meant it, but couldn’t he acknowledge it? Or say an actual sentence back?

Also, I knew him well enough to know that he was very much capable of delivering the word “alright” in a less shitty voice.

It annoyed me.

And though we talked for the rest of the car ride, it was noticeably strained. And then it got even more strained because Adam knew it was strained, and all he did was laugh to himself about it.

I knew it was irrational, but it put me in a huff.

A very girlfriend-y type huff, which was the exact kind of huff I had no right to be in, given I was not a girlfriend. But here we are.

We had radio playing for the last twenty minutes of the ride before he pulled into Judy’s, the little white shop with the Spanish tile roof and big palm trees out front.

As soon as Adam parked, he was looking at me, watching me as I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed my phone off the dash. I could feel him smirking and smiling, but since he wasn’t saying a word of anything, I didn’t look his way before getting out of the car.

It took till he got out of the car before he finally said, “AJ.”

“Yeah?” I rounded the front of the car to find him shutting his door, wearing that boyish grin I didn’t want to be charmed by right now.

“Come on. You usually read me better than this.”

“Better than what?” I asked, but since I didn’t stop walking, Adam snorted.

“Get the fuck over here,” he muttered, jerking me over to him by the back of my shirt and spinning me so fast that my yelp was half-surprised laugh.

And before I knew it, he had me leaned against the side of the car, his strong arm circling my waist and his hand pushing the windblown hair from my face. He took a few seconds to just look at me before he said, “If it isn’t clients or family these days, AJ, you’re all I think about.”

My breath hitched in my throat. All I did was stare back at him, and though I might’ve looked outwardly blank, bells were sounding off in my head, like I’d just won some big prize I didn’t even know I was waiting for.

“If we’re being honest, I spend half my day trying to get you out of my head and the other half just letting you fucking own every inch of my brain space, so have I been thinking about sleeping with other women?” Adam paused and laughed. “I can barely think about getting up in the morning instead of jacking off a second time to the thought of you.”

Oh.

Well then.

Stunned, chewing my lip back, I only nodded. But it was probably clear that I was trying to suppress a giant smile, because Adam suddenly looked smug.

“What?” I snapped.

“Nothing,” Adam smirked. “I just love how pissed off you get when you’re wrong.”

With that, I finally broke into a smile, prompting Adam’s satisfied grin as he touched his thumb to my dimple.

“There we go,” he murmured before nodding at the shop. “Now let’s go get this stupid fuckin’ shake.”

22

ADAM

I wasn’t sure if I was more aroused or amused.

But I was definitely both, mostly because AJ had insisted on not only keeping the shake in a cooler of ice during the ride back, but stirring it constantly to “preserve the consistency, or else it’s just melted ice cream.”

Definitely a fair point, but the stirring had been beyond distracting, and I had to commend myself for not crashing the car despite the fact that her perfect tits were bouncing the entire ride from stirring the stupid shake.

I smirked as I watched her set up the conference room now. She’d even gotten fresh whipped cream from the restaurant downstairs, which alone was filling my head with every dirty thought that didn’t need to be there right now.

“You alright, buddy?” AJ asked teasingly, not even needing to look up to feel my stare.

“Yeah. I think it’s just too often that I’m watching you handle whipped cream in this office,” I smirked, peering out the door as I came up behind her. “Remind me that I need to lick every dessert that exists off your body soon, or I might fucking explode.”

“Noted,” she said, giving a little giggle that made my dick twitch as she let me run my hands along her backside as she continued setting up.

But then without a word or a glance at each other, we separated ourselves, because we could hear two pairs of footsteps coming toward the conference room, and within seconds, Carl from reception poked his head in.

He gave me a look that asked you ready? And when I nodded, he looked out into the hall and gestured into the room.

“Mr. Knox,” he said.

And in walked Knox looking half-asleep, wearing team warm-up gear including low-worn sweats and a baseball cap he didn’t take off even as we did the customary handshakes and greetings.

I have zero respect for this meeting was the message he was trying to convey.

And he did it well.

“So. Flying solo today?” I asked, hoping to see Knox’s team walk in any minute as he took a long pull of date shake from his straw. I had to wait till he was done—a good three or four seconds—before he gave his shitty answer.

“Nah. Figured I’d make this quick as possible.”

I smiled. “Right.”

Fuckin’ asshole.

He was being such an intolerable piece of shit from the jump that it was a good breather for me to be able to show him around the office and briefly pass him off to Engelman, who wasn’t as subtle as he thought as he asked how Knox’s RTA meeting went, and if he’d gotten to meet the head of RTA like he was getting to do here.

I whisked Knox away from Engelman as swiftly as I could after that, and we were just outside Engelman’s office when Knox spoke his first full sentence since arriving.

“Listen, I know this is supposed to be the big VIP tour, but I don’t really give a shit. I don’t care how fancy your office is and it’s nowhere near as big as RTA’s anyway, so let’s just get to the meeting, alright?”

My eyebrows flashed for half a second, but even from behind me, I could feel AJ willing me to be nice, so I simply grinned at Knox. “Alright. Let’s get a move on.”

As we headed back to the conference room, AJ and I exchanged a look and I could tell we were on the same page, since it was a look that basically said yeah, he’s a dick, but we can play this game too.

We were usually much more flattering and complimentary of clients, and provided far more pomp and circumstance, but it was clear Knox wanted to lose the corporate veneer, and I was actually more than happy to do that.

So as soon as we were seated just the three of us in the conference room, I got right into it.

“Look, I don’t need to know how your other meeting went to know that RTA is looking to make you fit their mold. They have more clients than any agency in the world. They want you to shut up, do your job and just be grateful they took you on, and I haven’t known you that long, but I do know that you don’t really respond to that kind of authority,” I said, making Knox smirk. He leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed as he took his sweet time to respond.

“I think I’d give it a shot if the authority was Simon Schilling,” he said.

I stilled.

For longer than I intended to actually, but I was trying to gauge what was going on with AJ right now without taking my eyes off of Knox. I was pretty sure I felt an instant shift in her at the mention of Schilling, but now she was playing it cool enough that even I couldn’t tell if she wasn’t okay.

“Schilling is taking you as a client?” I clarified, because since being promoted to VP of RTA, he’d stopped taking new clients. Knox smiled.

“He said he was interested.”

I refrained from asking if he’d only shown interest after Knox mentioned who was pursuing him from Engelman Sports. I wondered for a second if Schilling even knew that AJ worked here now. As I concluded the answer was yeah, probably, I glanced across the table at AJ, my eyes running along the delicate profile of her face as she sat there calmly, her expression impassive.

But I knew how her lips normally rested, and this wasn’t it.

She was rattled, thinking about Schilling, what happened in college, and it had me suddenly fantasizing about all the ways I wanted to choke out that motherfucker out. But when AJ looked over at me, eyebrow slightly arched, I knew I’d been silent for too long.

Alright, get your shit together. Hers is, I told myself before returning my attention smoothly to Knox.

“The reality is that Schilling has a team of interns briefing him about who you even are before his every meeting with you.”

“Whereas you know everything about me?” Knox challenged.

“I do,” I replied with ease. “I know the ins and outs of your entire life and career, because I actually give a shit. Same goes for my assistant. She could run this whole meeting if she had to.”

Knox raised his eyebrows before turning from me to AJ.

“And you’re the assistant?” he asked, a different kind of smile spreading his lips. “Schilling told me all about you. Adrienne, right?”

AJ

I COULD FEEL the blood briefly drain from my face, and I knew Knox wasn’t lying—that Schilling had told him about me, because Schilling was the only person not named Mom, Dad or Emily who called me Adrienne.

And for the next few moments, I wondered if I was over-reading the amusement in Knox’s eye. If Schilling told Knox his version of the story. I knew it was unlikely he’d go into detail, but all that was needed in this world was a little lilt of the voice and a sly wag of the brows to say something about a woman. “Oh, Adrienne Tan? Oh, I’ve had the pleasure of working with her.”

It wasn’t fair. To have to feel even for a second like a fraud. Cut down to nothing with just a smirk.

So for all the horror churning in my stomach right now, I refused to let it affect me.

“Adrienne Tan, yes. But you’re welcome to call me AJ.”

Knox nodded with a look of exaggerated interest. “Well, AJ. Adam here says you know enough about me to run the whole meeting yourself, so…” Arms crossed, he leaned all the back. “Let’s give Adam the day off and see what you got.”

I stared, surprised enough that he laughed.

“And since you look like a very… nice girl,” he said in a way I forced myself not to over-read. “Let me just go ahead and say I’m not really into the whole sugarcoating thing, so if you could try to do without that, that’d be great. Alright?”

Oh…

Okay then.

Nodding, I finally gave Knox a smile—a real one, too, because without even looking at Adam, I could feel his delighted amusement. Like he was ready to go make himself a bag of popcorn.

Because he knew the match Knox just lit. Hell, he knew better than anyone that the best way to fire me up was to be patronizing. To doubt me based solely on the way I looked.

“So tell me then, Adrienne. Why shouldn’t I sign with RTA today?” Knox asked.

I answered without hesitation. “Because RTA is good for superstars. The absolute one percent of professional athletes.”

“And, what, I'm not a part of that one percent?” Knox asked.

”No," I said so bluntly he paused with surprise and bristled.

But he kept a smirk on his face as he asked, “Aren’t you trying to sell me right now?”

“Didn’t you ask me not to sugar-coat?”

“Touché.”

With a good-natured smile, I sat forward to give him the rundown of exactly who he was in this league.

“Knox, you’re a solid starting pitcher who could be a difference maker in a World Series. You’re not going to be a name that the casual fan knows, but hey, if you want people to blow smoke up your ass, by all means, go with RTA. I know they may have all the connections to promise endorsement deals and a dedicated marketing team just for you, but the reality is that not even the most recognizable faces in baseball have very lucrative endorsement deals. This isn’t the NBA or the NFL. Baseball is America’s pastime, but endorsement deals just don’t work the same in this league and if anyone wants to tell you differently, they’re lying to your face.”

The wiseass grin was gone from Knox’s lips now, but he cocked an eyebrow. “And why would RTA lie to me?”

“Because they reserve their best resources and their hardest efforts for their one percent superstars—of which they have many—and they’d rather not put in the work to fix the actual problem with someone like you. They want you to just shut up and take this demotion to reliever, because they claim they can make up for the loss of income by promising commercials for sports drinks and deodorant, but I think even you know those are long shots.”

I could almost see the glimmer of asshole fun in Knox’s eyes being snuffed out as I spoke, but I didn’t stop. I went on, giving him the full truth—that even deodorant and razor commercials were reserved for the household names of the sport. The sluggers who hit bombs out of the park and wound up on SportsCenter at night.

“So once you sign that contract with RTA, what you’ll actually end up getting are a few autograph signings at car dealerships, and we both know that a handful of low five-figure endorsement deals won’t make up for the fact that you’ll be finishing your current contract as a reliever, because that tanks your already-damaged market value going into free agency next year,” I explained breezily. “It’s going to tell other teams that they can get away with paying you reliever money for the final years of your career, and that’s not what you deserve considering the pitcher you are.”

I caught Knox’s throat moving as he swallowed. “What kind of pitcher am I?” he asked.

“You’re one of the few in this league who only needs one pitch to strike out your batter,” I said, referring to his filthy cutter. “You’re easily a starter. You just don’t have the right representation to help you fight the reputation you’ve garnered over the years.”

“And what reputation is that?” Knox asked, that twinkle back in his eye.

“Asshole,” I replied.

The next few seconds of silence felt like an eternity. But then Knox gave a snort and a laugh.

“Fair enough.”

And for the rest of the meeting, despite inserting a few lines here and there, Adam let me take the lead. When Knox asked how the hell we planned on getting him out of his shitty contract, Adam and I brainstormed on our feet, eventually coming up with a potential trade to the reigning champion New York Empires this season, since Adam had a close relationship with the team, given most of their players was represented by either Adam or Iain.

“Their starting rotation’s been plagued by injuries, and we know they’re currently looking at Trey Bock to fill out their last spot, but he’s just coming back from Tommy John surgery, and he’s more expensive than you with three years left on his contract,” I said. “You’ve got your noted ‘behavioral issues,’ of course, but if they know you’re represented by Adam, they’ll be much more likely to take a shot. And considering the Empires are a lock to win the championship again this year, if you can win with them, you’ll have no trouble getting a solid contract once you’re a free agent after this season.”

I commended myself for speaking calmly the whole time despite the absolute adrenaline rush coursing through my veins, especially as we wrapped up the meeting and got up to say goodbye to a completely different Knox.

He was visibly pleased.

Trying to hide it, sure, but pleased nonetheless.

“Alright, well… I’ll be in touch after I talk with my team,” he said, nodding with a bit of laughter in his eyes that acknowledged the total one-eighty he just did. He was on his way out, tossing a lazy glance over his shoulder as he said, “But if nothing changes my mind as it stands, I’ll be going with you guys.”

Fuck. Yes.

Bitch.

Okay, I didn’t mean that last part. It was just that adrenaline was still coursing hot through my veins as I stared at the door. I felt practically breathless, like my entire body was buzzing from head to toe as I brimmed with triumph and excitement, and just a little bit of a spiteful fuck you reserved strictly for Schilling.

“You have no idea how badly I need to fuck you right now.”

I grinned and when I finally turned to face Adam, his brilliant blue eyes slammed into mine, fixed so hotly on me that I actually wanted him to lunge forward and just rip off all my clothes.

“Fuck me then,” I said, gently tugging on his silk tie as he circled his arms around my waist and pressed a kiss to my lips. He groaned against my mouth as I dropped one hand down between us and cupped his package, stroking gently till I felt him harden in my palm.

“Engelman’s already goddamn texting me to see how it went,” he said, but for how tormented he sounded, he didn’t stop kissing me. “I just need you to know that you’re fucking incredible,” he murmured, making my heart flutter in my chest. “I keep thinking I’ve found out everything there is to know about you,” his voice was a near whisper now, “but you keep surprising me every day.”

I smiled against his lips, wishing I could just climb all over this man right now. “Ditto,” I said just as a knock came at the door.

We separated a second before Engelman’s assistant poked his head into the room. “Adam? Engelman’s asking for—”

“Yeah. Coming,” Adam said, clearing his throat and following him outside. But in the hall, he shot a glance over his shoulder at me, hitting me with a single second of that sexy grin and sending one last thrill darting up my spine.

And as I stood alone in the conference room for the next minute or so, just basking in the glorious aftermath of that meeting, I kept asking myself the same question. Is this even real?

But as I laughed to myself, finally turning off the light and walking out of the conference room, I answered my own question.

This was absolutely real.

And so much better than I could’ve ever imagined.

23

ADAM

Brunch on Sunday was downtown at Summit, a rooftop bar overlooking Pershing Square. As long as I was in town, I was either right here every Sunday at noon or at the rooftop spot over on Sunset.

The crew consisted mainly of my friends from law school, though we occasionally had some new meat in the mix. Thankfully, today wasn’t one of those days. I generally had no problem meeting my friends’ friends or colleagues, but I definitely wasn’t in the mood today, considering I barely had the patience for just my friends themselves.

In their defense, they were doing what they did pretty much every Sunday here—hit on the table with the hottest girls by sending drinks. Usually, at some point, this game included the two brothers, Brandt and Theo, delivering drive-by pick-up lines on the way to the bar or the bathroom, to see which of them would be more successful.

The record this month was two to one in Theo’s favor, which explained Brandt laying it on thick today, enlisting Sully to wing for him and making this whole meal pretty fucking intolerable—especially considering today, the “hot girl table” was right next to ours, so I couldn’t even get a break from their shit without excusing myself to the bar.

“Don’t listen to that clown. He’s not even single,” Sully said of Theo, making some girl feign an offended little gasp.

“What about him? Is he single?”

I didn’t even have to look up to know the girl was asking about me.

“Who, Adam? Yeah, but he’s married to work. See? Can’t even look up from his phone.”

I offered a smirk as I peered up for a second, but that was all I gave before going back to looking at the last text AJ sent me on Friday.

AJ: Enjoy my panties :) And dinner

Five words and they made me want to groan right at this table.

I had spent Thursday on the golf course with Engelman—at Engelman’s insistence—which made Friday an annoyingly busy-as-hell catch-up day at the office. And considering Holland and Iain were visiting on Monday, I had even more things I had to rush to complete so I’d have that evening free for them.

It left me with little time to do what I’d been waiting to do since our second Knox meeting on Wednesday, which was get AJ behind a closed door so I could taste and touch her as I pleased. I knew I wouldn’t have time to see her over the weekend since she had to visit her parents in Torrance on Saturday to tell them in person about Caspar, and Sunday—today—was reserved for Georgia’s birthday brunch with Emily and their friends from high school.

It had me on essentially a deadline to get in my fix of her, which was what led to our rushed but hot-as-all-fuck encounter before I left for my evening meeting on Friday.

I was supposed to be in my car, already on my way to dinner when I opted instead to take a turn down the hall and stalk AJ into the back file room. Just the memory of her sharp little gasp as I came up behind her made my blood rush.

And that was only the start of it.

I had exactly five minutes to make her come, but despite yanking her skirt up and pulling her panties to the side, she wound up getting her way, turning around, sinking to her knees and sucking on my cock. She took as much of me as she could, as fast and wet as she could, and when I grabbed two fistfuls of her hair, she looked up at me, holding those sexy eyes on me as she nodded, giving me permission to fuck.

When I filled her mouth with cum, she swallowed every drop, and as if that didn’t blow my mind enough, she wiggled out of her wet panties, handing them to me before sending me out to go to dinner.

And that was how we left off.

Which honestly made it a fucking miracle that I even made it to brunch today.

That was how we left off for the weekend.

It was also why I arrived mid-meal today. Because I’d spent the morning jacking it into her panties like a fucking animal.

I told myself it was a protective measure—to ensure that I didn’t have to deal with any public hard-ons, but here I was now, once again forced to tell my dick to chill the fuck out.

I was only vaguely registering my friends’ conversation with the girls, but eventually, Sully kicked me, and when I looked up, he shot me a quizzical look while nodding at the brunette in the crop top and ripped shorts. “Yo. You wanna talk to this girl or what?”

“Does it look like I want to?”

“Christ, okay,” Sully snorted. “The hell’s up with you, man? You good?”

He had a smile on to keep it lighthearted, but I could tell he was genuinely concerned.

“I’m good,” I said, and it was the truth. I was good.

Better than good.

I was just doing my best to leave my assistant alone on a Sunday.

“Your name is Adam? I’m Bella,” Crop Top said as she tipped her chair as far back as she could to extend her hand. I shook it.

“Nice to meet you,” I said directly before excusing myself.

I didn’t have anywhere to go. I just didn’t feel like faking interest in what my friends were doing, which they were definitely becoming aware of, judging by the one-word text Sully shot me.

SULLY: Bro

I snorted before I sent back a convincing lie.

ME: Dad’s asking me to call

SULLY: Ah ok tell Brad hi. Hope everything’s ok

I frowned.

Goddammit. Did he really need to add that second part?

It made me wonder myself if everything was okay. Rather, less okay than usual. I wouldn’t know because now that I was forced to think about it, I hadn’t called my dad in probably two weeks. Actually, I had no idea how long it had been. Long enough that I had to throw out an arbitrary guess.

“Fuck you, Sully,” I muttered to my unsuspecting friend, because without even realizing, he’d officially guilted me into calling my dad.

So dipping inside, I found an unoccupied seat at the end of the bar where I quickly dialed my dad’s number before I decided not to.

He picked up in one ring.

“Hey!”

A smile quirked on my lips, because he sounded good. “What’s up.”

“What’s up yourself! I’m surprised to hear from you.”

I grimaced as I looked off in the distance. Man, everyone was unintentionally guilting me today. “Sorry I’ve been so busy. Figured I’d just call to see how it’s going.”

“Oh, you know. It’s going.”

I snorted. That was what Holland and I called Brad-isms. Basically good-natured filler words. Non-answers to try to paint things as fine when they weren’t. Oh, it’s going. It is what it is. What can you do. That kind of thing. When there wasn’t an active flare-up of mom craziness, we tried not to talk about her or the Holland drama. But that was what made our conversations so strained these days.

There was really nothing else to talk about, especially when we all knew that Dad missed Holland and me. He hadn’t seen Holland since she moved out eight months ago. He’d seen me for a lunch in January, when I had a business trip to New York. But other than that, full-day visits were a no-go, because there was no leaving for long without setting off Mom. And since Holland and I wouldn’t see her, and Dad felt bad seeing us alone, we were basically trapped in this limbo from now till forever.

It sucked. It wasn’t fun.

But it was just our reality.

“So, what are you up to?” I asked.

“Uhh, actually, we’re cleaning out Holland’s bedroom,” Dad said somewhat awkwardly as I raised my eyebrows. Damn. That meant Mom was finally getting it. She wasn’t going to come home. “Not fully, but just moving some stuff to the basement.”

“Well, that’s… good,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s good to tidy up,” Dad said, ever eager to keep our conversations positive. “Hey—by the way. When I was in the basement, I found your old cell phone from high school.” I paused. “The one with all the video diaries you recorded for—”

“Yeah, Dad,” I interrupted, shaking my head. “I don’t need that thing. Just throw it away.”

I heard a pause and shuffling on the other end. “Are you sure? These are precious memories. And they’re such nice videos. I don’t think it’s too late to send them.”

“Dad,” I said firmly. “For Christ’s sake.”

“Alright, alright.”

It was quiet for a few seconds before I said, “Sully says hi.”

Jesus. Really didn’t think I’d have to bank on that for conversation.

“Oh, tell him hi!” Dad said.

Then he asked where I was, which other friends I was with and if the food was good at Summit. When I described what I’d ordered, he asked if I’d take him there the next time he visited, and I said of course, despite the fact that we both knew he wasn’t coming anytime soon.

Then we talked about a bunch of other shit—what he bought for dinner tonight, how he was making it, how the deer were still eating his tomatoes in the backyard—but I knew, even as we got a few laughs out, what we were both actually thinking about right now.

Those stupid video diaries that I couldn’t believe I’d actually recorded as a high schooler.

It was a distant memory, but apparently there was a time when I was a naive little puppy dog. When I’d yet to realize what happened to your head and your heart when you chose to fully love someone.

I was distracted enough by the memory of them that I could hear myself giving delayed replies, starting to sound bored despite the fact that I wasn’t—my mind was just determined to wander somewhere else.

But there was no one more sensitive to that sound than my dad, so it wasn’t long before he was telling me to go ahead and be with my friends, and thanking me for calling him, which quietly depressed the living shit out of me.

This is why I don’t call. Because we both love each other, but nobody wins.

“Hey, one more thing, son,” Dad said just as I was about to hang up, and when I said “what’s up” without hearing anything back from him for the next three seconds, I knew I was in for something heavier than I wanted to deal with right now.

But that was Dad these days. I didn’t call enough, so when I did, he tried to make it count.

He made a few “uh” and “ah” sounds before finally finding his words.

“If I could go into the past, I would’ve been stronger about the way I let Mom treat you. I wouldn’t have let her drive away the people you love,” he said.

I stared blankly out at nothing as I nodded like my dad could see me. And when I went too long without responding, I finally said, “Thanks.” It seemed a little short though, so I added, “I appreciate it.”

Then we hung up and I headed back to my table where I sat back down and did a better job of acting interested in whatever my friends were talking about with the girls. I smiled, laughed, introduced myself to the other three girls and joined Theo in roasting Sully for a little before I told myself I’d done my part and given my best effort.

I’d tried to hang out normally with the guys and not bother AJ, but I’d just hit my limit.

So I checked her Instagram story for the third time, watching the video she took of a big brunch spread and a table of what looked to be six girls, including Georgia and Emily.

It was from over two hours ago, so I reasoned that brunch could very well be over now. And after another few minutes, I caved, shooting her a quick text.

ME: What are you up to?

24

AJ

“Wait, so who’s coming to get you?”

The check was paid for, but the girls and I were still at the joyful birthday mess of a table, hoping to finish the ambitious amount of booze we’d ordered, but apparently, ordering that fourth pitcher was not in fact a good idea for six girls, especially since Emily stopped after her second drink, like the responsible human the rest of us were not.

Besides my sister, it was me, Georgia and three friends from high school—Chloe, Kate and Annie, who were all very curious about who was coming to give me a ride from brunch.

When I opted to keep mum by sipping on my sangria, the girls turned to Georgia.

“Her hot boss,” Georgia said.

“What?”

“Adam?”

They all knew his name—mostly because Georgia had to describe him in detail after seeing him for the first time four years ago—but none of them remembered his last name, and now it was a madhouse with me insisting “it’s not a big deal” while everyone ignored me to badger Georgia, because they knew she was more prone to spill any details.

“Wait, where is he taking you on a Sunday?”

“Is it for work? Georgia’s smiling like it’s not for work.”

“What’s his last name again? I need to Google him.”

My head was spinning. It was all chaotic to the point of being hilarious, but it was also completely anxiety-inducing, because the last thing I wanted was for my friends to get all excited over something I had no idea how to describe.

Adam and I were… something for sure. I knew we were more than a hook-up at this point, but I couldn’t put a label on it. I was also still nervous about it—almost superstitious. Like if I said any of my feelings or suspicions out loud, it would all get ruined the next day. It was why I hadn’t even been telling Georgia the full story of anything this week. She was getting more excited than I could handle anymore, so all I’d told her was that I’d gone to his house to help him meal prep last Sunday, that we’d had a good heart-to-heart, and that we’d fooled around a few more times this week. I admitted that things were fun.

But that was it.

“Damn, Em, why the face?” Chloe asked suddenly, making me blink across the table.

In the pure chaos of the past few minutes, I’d neglected to look in my sister’s direction, but now that I was, I could feel my mood dipping, because she was doing that thing where she just shook her head and sipped her drink.

“What?” I said.

“Nothing,” she replied.

And to my partial relief, she left it that.

But I knew what she was thinking. That I was now doing double duty as both assistant and Sunday afternoon booty call. In fairness, I did just get a vague, potentially brunch booze-fueled text to get picked up, and I didn’t know why, but it was probably for sex.

My cheeks burned for a moment, because as much as I knew this wasn’t a booty call, I knew how bad it looked right now. I also didn’t know for sure that Adam wasn’t drunk after a meal with his boys and looking to fuck me in his car.

But just as I started to indulge my dumber thoughts, Kate gasped.

“Oh. My. God. Is that him?”

I instinctively shook my head, ready to tell the girls to relax, that he wouldn’t be coming in. But then I looked at where they were all staring and my heart skipped several beats, because there was Adam—wearing simple blue jeans and a white V-neck that made his shoulders and chest look so good that under the table, my toes were curling in my shoes. He looked hotter than anyone in Hollywood with that pair of wayfarers on, but he took them off as soon as he saw that we’d spotted him.

And when his eyes found mine, he smiled.

“Wait. Stop. Are you kidding me? Stop.” Next to me, I could hear Georgia hissing her delighted disbelief under her breath, which became not-so-under-her-breath when she spotted the white paper bag Adam’s hand. “Oh my God—did you bring me cupcakes?” she squealed.

That set off the next round of madness that had me laughing as my tipsy friends clamored over Adam, saying hello, introducing themselves, insisting he sit and offering drinks. It gave me no time myself to react to the fact that he’d brought Georgia cupcakes, which was potentially the cutest thing I’d ever seen him do.

Oh my goodness.

What the hell is even happening?

As I asked myself the question, I snuck a glance across the table at Emily, who was staring openly stunned at Adam, not taking her eyes off of him, her gaze traveling all over—from his smiling face to his admittedly impossible-not-to-look-at torso to the box of cupcakes he set on the table as he actually obliged my friends’ aggressively insistent request that he sit and have a drink.

“Adam…” I said, only just managing to get a word in as Georgia scooted a seat down so Adam could sit between us.

“Hey,” he said to me with a grin before he had his attention pulled back away by Georgia and the girls. But he kept a hand on my knee as my friends fired off a million questions about work and clients and if I was being a good assistant, if I was his best assistant ever—basically just embarrassing me to no end and making me desperately wish for a quiet moment to talk to Adam, because I was actually kind of stunned myself that he was here.

Thankfully, and a bit surprisingly, Emily read the anxious look on my face and after some looking around, managed to direct everyone’s drunk attention to a particularly cute dog across the street.

“Oh my God, he’s so smallll,” Chloe cooed, making me laugh before I turned to Adam.

“Hey. Everything okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because you were out with your friends for less than an hour before asking what I was up to,” I said. He squinted at me for a second before she added, “I made the reservation Adam. I know.”

“Right,” he chuckled. “Well. They’re kind of loud and I wasn’t really in the mood for all that noise,” he said just as Georgia and Chloe started squealing, because puppy and owner were crossing the street to say hi.

“I think you might’ve come to the wrong place if you’re in the mood for quiet,” I said. He laughed.

“I’m in the mood for you, AJ,” he said unapologetically, making me swallow hard. “I don’t even remember what it’s like to not be thinking about you every five minutes.”

I was speechless for a second. It was just that he said it so unabashedly. Like it never occurred to him that this would be an embarrassing admission for somebody else to make. Namely me. I hated this particular fact about myself in the past couple weeks—so much so that I hadn’t even admitted it to myself. But leave it to Adam to say it like it were any other sentence.

I was thankful to be sitting, because it kind of knocked me off my feet for a second.

“Same,” I finally said as quietly as possible, just in case Emily could hear.

But apparently it didn’t matter, because thirty minutes later, as we were all getting ready to leave, and as Adam was saying bye to my now-very attached friends, Emily pulled me aside.

“What. The fuck, AJ.”

“What?” I practically whined, stamping my foot playfully because I was in no mood for her lecturing. But that wasn’t what I got.

“There is a lot that you haven’t been telling me,” she said, looking me dead in the eye, like she could read the memories of the past few weeks flashing through my mind. I frowned at her, ready to ask her what she was getting at, but then she said it. “You realize he’s into you, right?”

“What?”

“Adam. He’s genuinely into you. Like, two notches from falling-in-love-with-you type into—”

“Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill,” I said, my stupefied seriousness followed immediately by a burst of incredulous laughter. “Emily. What’s going on? Is this you?” I teased. “What happened to my no-nonsense, tells-it-like-it-is sister?”

“She’s right here, bitch,” Emily snorted. “And she’s telling you like it is—as someone who has an even better perspective than you, because she was actually watching him when you were talking to Georgia and Chloe about the dog. And the way he looks at you… it’s something.”

My smile faltered and I could actually feel the laughter in my eyes fading away. Because I thought I’d wanted Emily to ease up on me about Adam, but I was realizing now I couldn’t quite handle this total one-eighty. “Look… I don’t know what this is, Emily,” I said carefully, suddenly forcing myself to get serious. Practical. “And you were the one who pointed out how much this couldn’t work. How he’s never been in a relationship,” I reasoned.

Emily shrugged just as Chloe called her to the car, but before she walked off, she left me with a piece of advice.

“Well, maybe you should ask him why.”

25

AJ

The entire ride to Adam’s house was spent talking on the phone with Georgia, who had graduated to the weepy stage of her drunkenness and kept thanking me for “the funnest afternoon.”

“And the fact that Adam came,” she cried before graduating immediately to her thirsty stage. “God, that man is next-level sex, AJ. Adrienne Joelle. When he lifted the pitcher of sangria—did you see his bicep? The way it twitched? I think I have to booty call Wes.”

“Georgia—no.”

That, of course, kicked off the first ten minutes at Adam’s house, which were spent talking Georgia out of booty calling her ex.

I was wandering in the kitchen when Adam touched my waist.

Gonna shower, he mouthed to me as I tried but failed to wrap up with my very hammered birthday girl. I nodded, mouthing back sorry but smiling as he let his touch and his laughing gaze linger on me for another second before heading upstairs.

God…

When did he become my Kryptonite?

“Well, what if I promise not to get back together with him this time? It’ll just be the sex,” Georgia said, making me groan and laugh at the same time.

“Georgia, you said this last time,” I said while smiling to myself at what I saw at the top of the pile of mail on the kitchen counter. It was some obscure, fancy-looking gardening catalogue, which seemed like something Adam had no business receiving, given he had never gardened or even spoken the word “gardening” in his life.

Georgia was going on about soul mates and the concept of “twin flames” as I walked out onto the terrace then floated back into the kitchen, gravitating absently to the counter again and deciding a closer look at the catalogue.

But when I picked it up, my eyes were drawn to what lay underneath.

A cream envelope.

It had Adam’s address on the top left corner in his handwriting, and it was on the somewhat pricy stationery set I bought him years ago, when he’d asked me to find him “something nice.”

Scrawled in red on the envelope were the words “RETURN TO SENDER.”

With instant guilt, I dropped the catalogue back onto the envelope, taking a step back. But not before I’d already processed the address it was mailed to. There was no name, but it was an address in Asheville, North Carolina.

I blinked as I remembered that I’d seen Adam writing this letter last week.

“Okay, I can hear your judgment in the silence, so fine, I shan’t text him,” Georgia said in a huff. “Also I know I’ve kept you on the phone forever, so go be with your man.”

“He’s not—” I cut off. “Georgia, you just go drink some water now, okay? And if you take a bath, text me once you get out so I know you didn’t fall asleep and drown in there.”

“Yes, ma’am, will do.”

Once we hung up, I wandered back to the living room just in time to see Adam coming down the stairs all showered, wearing a soft T-shirt and the same sweats he wore at the hotel room in Palm Beach.

It was only a few weeks ago, but it already felt like a different lifetime.

I smiled as Adam pulled me to him by the front of my top and kissed me all the way to the couch, bringing me to a straddle on his lap. He tasted my mouth in slow, deliberate licks as I lay my hands flat on his chest, and just feeling the warmth and hardness of his muscle under my fingers made me feel drunk again.

And tiny. At five-foot-six, I never felt particularly small, but I did in Adam’s arms, and while I never knew I wanted or needed the feeling, I had to admit that I kind of loved it.

I was floating off on a cloud by the time I finally pulled away to crack a little smile at him. “Thank you for sitting with my crazy friends today. And for bringing Georgia cupcakes. That was really sweet.”

I could see his lips curved in a smile as he dropped a kiss onto my shoulder. “Everything good with her?”

“Yep. Just had to prevent her from falling down that rabbit hole of booty calls and exes and… on-again off-again madness… you know how it is.”

“I don’t, actually,” he said. It was without judgment or humor—it was just total honesty. And it was the exact topic Emily had told me to ask him about. I told myself not to ask though—to just leave it, because I wouldn’t like the answer.

But the question just slipped out. “Why not?”

Adam blinked like he’d forgotten what we were talking about. “What do you mean?”

“Why is that a rule?” I asked. “The no-relationship thing.”

His brow furrowed. “It’s not a rule. I’d just… never cared to be. I like keeping my life compartmentalized, and that can’t really happen when you have a partner. You have to share everything,” he said. Before I could overanalyze that, he gave a rueful laugh. “Plus, I was born into enough complicated relationships. I have a lot to sort with that. I still have to make things up to the people I already love.”

“What do you mean? Like with Holland?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to have to rely completely on Iain or you to remember my own sister’s existence. I need to reverse this instinct I have to just… not care about her too much.” He shook his head to himself, like he found himself confused. “It’s not right.”

I was quiet for a second, staring at Adam’s long lashes as I watched him play with the drawstring of my linen joggers. Do I dare ask him? I asked myself before deciding that I did. “How did it get that bad?” My question came out barely above a whisper. “What did she do?” I asked.

Because while I didn’t know exactly how she did it, I knew who was at the root of all of this.

His mom.

I watched the little frown between Adam’s eyebrows deepen as he untied and retied my drawstring, making us both snort a little before he finally gave me an answer.

“After Holland was born, I think she was home from the hospital for four, maybe five days before I got to even look at her.”

My lip protruded as I tilted my head to the side. Four or five days? What was the normal amount of time to wait to introduce siblings? Probably none? As soon as they get home?

What the fuck, Jeannie, I thought for probably the ten thousandth time in the past five years.

“She’d tell my dad she just gave birth, she needed time alone with the baby. Said I stressed her out. When I finally did get to see Holland, it was like she was throwing me a bone. It would just be these little two-second glimpses, but as soon as I started trying to say hi, she’d pull away.”

“Wow.” I tried not to gape as Adam spoke—not that he was even looking at me, his eyes were still downcast—but it was hard not to be a little shocked, because I actually wouldn’t have guessed Jeannie Maxwell to be this level of cruel. To a ten-year-old no less. “So you never got to bond with Holland,” I said softly. Adam shook his head.

“I thought it was normal that kids weren’t allowed to go anywhere near babies. But then our family visited, and my mom let my neighbor hold Holland on the couch. And we were the same age. So I asked if I could. Answer was no. And when my dad tried to argue, she said I was bad, that I’d hurt the baby and make her cry. So at this point, I was like, fuck this.”

I managed a laugh. “That’s what your ten-year-old brain thought?” I teased. He smirked.

“Whatever the ten-year-old equivalent to that is,” he said. “I was just pissed, because I had actually been on my best behavior when she got back from the hospital. No tantrums. Being quiet. I was about to have a little sister, so I was trying to turn a new ten-year-old leaf,” he said, making me giggle softly. “But that day with my neighbor was my breaking point and I just thought, fuck being good. When Mom’s asleep, I’m going to sneak into the nursery at night and hold my sister better than my neighbor did, and just prove everyone wrong.”

“Did you?”

Adam nodded. “Yeah. It was solely to spite my mom, but then I climbed into the crib and scooped Holland up. And she woke up, but she was fine. Didn’t even cry. She just looked up at me like, oh, okay. That’s what you look like.” My heart twisted a little as Adam laughed to himself. “I was just holding her and I was basically triumphant one second, crying the next. These angry little kid tears, because that meant I wasn’t actually damaged or defective like Jeannie made me believe for so long. I could hold my baby sister and keep her safe. And happy.”

I was floored, a giant knot in my throat. Adam didn’t even tell the story like he was sad, but I was completely heartbroken. I could understand how a teenager who fought at school and totaled cars could earn such disdain from a parent, but I couldn’t imagine that ten-year-old Adam deserved to be treated like a leper in his own home. Conditioned to believe he was plain bad. Defective.

I felt like there had to be something more here, and I wanted so badly to ask. But I knew even Holland didn’t know, so how would it be any of my business?

“Adam, you know you’re a good brother, right?” I said, tipping his chin up so his eyes met mine. “You were there for her when she was planning The Great Escape,” I said, smiling when he smiled at the name of the plan Holland had hatched to move out. “You consulted on everything, all the logistics, so it could work without your mom finding out.”

“That was both of us,” Adam said.

“True.”

“And let’s be real, she took your advice more often than mine.”

I laughed. “Also true. But we’re a team. She wouldn’t have me without you. And she’ll always need you. It’s never going to be too late to be the brother you always wanted to be for her, because your relationship to her is nothing anyone else can replace. You’re her only brother,” I said with a growing smile as I felt Adam’s strong arms circle around me, hugging me even closer as I spoke. “You’re the only one she grew up looking at like he was a superhero. And I know she’s become quite the grown-up really fast—like, out of nowhere—but she’s still always going to be that little girl who’s just endlessly fascinated by everything her big brother does,” I said softly. “She’s never going to stop looking up to you. And because you helped her get out of that situation last year, you have from now till forever to be in her life, and be good to her the way you always wished you could.”

Adam nodded, and for the next five or ten seconds, he just looked at me. With my arms snaked around his neck, I felt his touch on the bare skin of my back as he slipped his hands under my shirt. “You know I couldn’t have done this without you, right?” he finally said. His eyes were solemn, serious, but I could feel the appreciation glowing in them as he looked at me.

“I think you could’ve,” I said genuinely. But then I cracked a smile. “I just think it would’ve taken a little longer.”

“Yeah, well.” His fingers stroked lightly against me. “I’m glad it didn’t,” he said before cupping the back of my neck and pulling me in for another kiss—one that didn’t break even as he pressed his hand against my back and laid me down on the couch, letting me feel the weight of his hard body as he laid on top of me. Parting my lips, his tongue slid against mine, kissing me with a hunger that deepened by the second.

We were both half-naked, our shirts on the floor and my hand in his sweats when he groaned that he was out of condoms. I almost blurted that I was on the pill. That I was clean and I knew he was, because I was in the car and his phone was too loud when he got his last test back.

But I didn’t. A part of me said it was for the better, because I needed to slow down. Take a breather. Because what Emily said about Adam being a few notches from falling—it turned out she was onto something.

Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn’t.

But I was definitely there. Smack dab in the danger zone and in too deep to pull myself out.

26

AJ

I stirred to the sound of an unfamiliar chime and awoke to find myself blinking out the window. My bleary eyes took their time to focus. First on the shimmering blue pool. Then the canyons.

I processed that I was in Adam’s bed about a second before I processed his strong arms wrapped around me.

Wow.

So this is a thing that’s happening, I thought, a bit delighted, surprised and amused as I nestled into his chest and recalled last night.

He had gotten a work call late at night and the last thing I remembered was dozing on the couch. Warmth spread through me when I realized I’d fallen asleep there and that Adam had carried me up here.

Oh, wait.

Lifting the sheets, I peeked down at my naked body and remembered a flash of last night. My body hitting this glorious bed and immediately wiggling out of my top and joggers. I remembered the tortured groan Adam gave as I flung my bra on the floor.

“Fuck, baby, don’t do this to me right now.”

I grinned at the memory just as I heard Adam give a low, sleepy rumble that made his warm chest vibrate against me. I didn’t know what it was about that, but it felt so good, and I actually pouted to myself when I felt him lift his arm off me to reach behind him for his phone. I giggled when he clearly couldn’t reach without turning all the way around, and before I knew it, he was on his back with me climbing on top of him, reaching across the bed for him to turn off the alarm. I toggled all three off, hearing the smile in Adam’s groggy voice before I even looked at him.

“Sorry. Forgot to turn it off last night.”

“Why would you? We do have work in an hour.”

“Yeah… think I’m going to work from home today.”

Setting the phone down, I lay on top of his chest and grinned. “Oh, really? Why is that?”

“Because I don’t feel like moving from this position for at least the next two hours.”

“Would you feel that way if I reminded you that you don’t have any condoms in the house?” I teased.

“Yes. I’d rather be tortured with you lying naked on me than be at work having to keep my hands off of you.”

“Fair enough.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Do you always sleep naked, by the way?”

“No. But I can’t sleep in my outside clothes, which is probably why I stripped last night while half-asleep.”

“Got it,” he laughed. “That was hell, by the way.”

I smirked. “Sorry. Did you jerk off?”

“Multiple times.”

I raked my bottom lip between my teeth at the thought of Adam jerking off while I was asleep. That combined with the fact that he was so hot and rock-hard underneath me right now was like torturous karma. God, just put it inside me, I begged internally. Condom or not, I was ready, but it felt like there was a level of intimacy to that—one that I felt self-conscious suggesting since he hadn’t already. So I just gave him a wicked little smile as I looked up at him.

“I can make you come with my hands, mouth or tits. What do you want?”

His eyebrows went up. “To marry you, I think.”

I laughed. “Choose.”

“Can I say all?”

“Mm-hm,” I answered as I slid myself down his body, reveling in the sound of his breath already getting a little heavier out of pure anticipation.

Admittedly, I fucking loved having that effect on him. I could actually feel how much he wanted me, and as promised, I gave him a little bit of everything, starting with my mouth for several minutes, reveling in every twitch of his muscled thighs, and drawing out every low, sexy grunt I could out of him as I got him slick enough to stroke in my hands. But with the way my breasts were bouncing as I did that, I knew he wouldn’t let me keep going for long, and just as suspected, it was only about a minute before he had me flipped on my back, my lips parted and my eyes wide as he treated me to the full view of his long, chiseled torso at work. His every muscle rippled above me as he braced his hand on the headboard, making the sexiest sounds I’d ever heard as he fucked his cock between my pushed-up tits.

I swore I had a hands-free orgasm when he came. The groan he let out was unabashedly loud, angry, and it made my pussy pound as right in front of me, I watched his hips flex and his dick jerk, jetting hot pleasure all over my breasts and my stomach.

The kiss he planted on me after was more of a greedy lick against my tongue, claiming me before he said, “Get in the shower.”

I did as I was told, walking ahead of Adam into his sun-drenched bathroom with the glittering white marble and glass shower. Our eyes were locked as he turned on the water, and for the first few minutes, he simply watched me in a trance as I soaped up my breasts, rubbing gently to wash off his cum.

“God, I could watch you do this every fucking morning,” he muttered.

“You’re going to make me wash your cum off my tits every morning?” I teased. He smirked.

“That alright with you?”

“I wouldn’t mind. As long as you come other places sometimes too.”

He sucked in a breath between his teeth, his upper lip curling with arousal. “Like where?” he asked, his gentle voice a stark contrast to the wolfish look in his eyes as he came close to me. “Here?” He dipped his head down to kiss my lips as I hummed an mm-hmm.

“And here,” I whispered, guiding his hand between my legs and rubbing his palm all over my wetness. Holy hell, that felt good. Hanging onto his neck, I tilted my head back, deliberately ignoring his hot gaze that I knew was pinned on me right now. I could feel its surprise as he stared, his eyes hungry yet questioning as he gently rubbed the length of my wetness.

“You want my cum in your pussy, AJ?” he murmured, sending a shudder up my spine.

“Yes.”

There. I said it.

And when I looked at him again, I swallowed, feeling my breath grow shallow as I caught the carnal look in his eyes. He stroked his thumb gently along my jaw before he spoke in a steely command.

“Turn around.”

Goosebumps burst over my wet skin as I obliged, turning to place my hands in front of me on the glass wall and dutifully arching my back as Adam came up behind me. I watched, my breath caught in my throat as he looked at me, then down at my pussy. The way I presented it to him so eagerly.

He took a few moments just to enjoy the view.

“God, I don’t think you realize how fucking perfect you are,” he muttered, his eyes pinned so tightly on mine that I couldn’t look away, even as he placed one hand firmly on my hip, making my stomach clench with anticipation before I felt him nudge his silky, flared tip against me. He hissed fuck, long and drawn out, as he pushed slowly inside, spearing me with his hot, hard length and forcing my mouth to fall wide open as I felt myself stretch for him.

Holy fuck.

I let out a forceful breath, my palms sliding against wet glass as I felt him push all the way inside me before pulling out completely, once, then twice, getting me used to his size again and making me ache so badly for him that I whimpered.

“What’s that sound for?” Adam murmured. “You want me to fuck you?”

He was taunting me the way he always did, but despite my usual instinct to hit back, I was too needy right now, so I only breathed out, “Yes, please.” I could at least take pleasure in knowing that it threw Adam when my smart mouth was nothing but docile and needy. “Fuck me, Adam,” I panted, lifting my eyes to his blazing hot stare. “I need your cock inside me now.”

He groaned at the sound of my begging, digging his grip into my flesh.

And without another word, he plunged into my pussy, tearing a sharp gasp from my throat as he buried himself all the way inside me, filling me to the hilt. He growled like a beast as he went straight to giving strokes so full and deep that our wet bodies slapping against each other sounded like someone getting brutally spanked.

“Christ, you feel so good,” Adam hissed in my ear, never slowing his stroke. “Fuck, AJ,” he squeezed my ass hard then spanked. “You make me fucking crazy. Do you realize that?”

I could only answer in ragged moans, my back fully arched, my arms outstretched and my palms pulsing against wet glass as Adam fucked me like he owned me. His rough tongue pulsed along the curve of my neck as his squeezing hands slid all over my ass, up my back, into my hair as he pumped his hips relentlessly, pounding me without mercy. The pleasure was already earth-shattering and I hadn’t even come yet.

But as soon as he dropped his hand between my legs and started stroking my clit, I could feel myself hurtling fast toward the edge.

Moaning sharply, I collapsed forward, my hands and breasts pressed against the cold glass and my back arched taut as Adam rubbed between my thighs with one hand and cupped my jaw with the other. I gasped as his firm grip tilted my head back, far enough so that he could thrust his tongue into my mouth, kissing me deeply, fully claiming me as he brought me to an orgasm so powerful I felt it tearing through every inch of my body. It shook me hard enough that I doubted my feet were even touching ground as Adam held onto me, groaning and thrusting through my every clench around his shaft.

“Adam.” I sounded drugged, in ecstasy as his name seeped from my lips. His breath was ragged in my ear and I could feel him close, slowing his stroke inside me as I rolled my head back onto his shoulder. I was mindless, euphoric. Just reveling in a post-orgasmic haze, and the feeling of being tightly held in his arms, still being filled by his cock.

Another climax threatened as Adam continued to worship my body, his hands everywhere, growling between each shuddering stroke inside me.

“Nothing… nothing feels as good as this, AJ… fucking nothing.”

I was so deep in bliss I didn’t even know when he turned me around. I just knew that my back was pressed against the glass now, my panting breaths mingling with his, and our eyes dancing together as he lifted my leg and draped it over his strong forearm. Squeezing my ass, he kept my pussy spread for his stroke as his other arm circled my waist, holding my chest flush against his. In the same breath, our lips curved up at the corners, our bodies feeling impossibly close as I wrapped my own arms tight around his neck.

He murmured words I thought I’d imagined till he said them again, prompting me to thrust my fingers into his hair. “This is all I fucking want.”

He said it through tortured pleasure, jagged breaths that grew heavier, more forceful as he drew close. His strokes were growing shorter now, tighter, and causing a friction against my clit that felt mind-numbingly good, especially because I knew Adam was in heaven himself, seconds from erupting inside me. His every muscle felt tense, hard like concrete, and I knew it was because he was desperately staving off his climax, trying to make this pleasure last forever.

“I swear to God,” he murmured raggedly, his forehead pressed against mine. “Every morning. Just this. That’s all I need.”

I was in oblivion, his words spiraling me into a place so perfect it felt like fantasy, and when his lips sealed against mine, I felt myself quickly unravel.

“That’s it,” Adam whispered as he kissed me deeply, with urgency, sliding his tongue against mine and sweeping it furiously through my mouth till a second orgasm crashed through my body, taking the last of his restraint.

I gasped as I felt his heat burst inside me, my pussy spasming around his throbbing cock and drawing out the most delectably guttural sounds from deep in his chest. My eyes were closed, my mouth smiling as his strong body collapsed against my front, his dick giving a last jerk inside me.

The pitter patter of the water continued to rain down as we recovered, our bodies still entwined, our lips still panting for breath. We were in no rush at all to come down from our heights, so kissing softly, we didn’t.

And I was grateful for that.

In a little bit, I would be telling myself things. Reminding myself that words spoken in the heat of the moment could mean nothing at all. But for now, I basked in Adam’s arms, in a fantasyland where it was just and this moment.

And absolutely nothing else.

27

AJ

Despite working up an appetite, we lay in bed for the next few hours. But when hunger hit Adam, it hit him like a speeding train, and before I knew it, I was laughing in bed, watching him growl with hunger while getting hastily dressed.

“But where are we going to go?” I said, since we were craving breakfast, but it was well past breakfast hours. Adam flashed that irresistible dimple, making a pshh sound as he pulled up his jeans.

“I got you,” he grinned.

And twenty minutes later, we were together at the one place he never went with anyone: Gizzy’s.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened to ‘this is my secret spot, I come here alone’?”

The ribbing came from the Lakers hoodie-wearing dad sitting at a picnic table on the patio with his grinning wife and kid.

“Same thing that happened to ‘I’m quitting coffee,’” Adam laughed as the man pushed his coffee toward his young son.

“This is Ryan’s,” he said, making Adam laugh before introducing me to the table—and then eventually, to two other tables and a pair of waitresses. We’d had several full conversations before we could even get to his usual round table in the corner.

“My God. So you’re basically the mayor of Gizzy’s,” I said.

“Basically,” he laughed just as I saw a familiar face coming out to greet us from the kitchen. It was Heidi, the owner of Gizzy’s who I could already see jumping to conclusions.

“Hi, Heidi,” I said, already blushing through my smile, because she had a big, open-mouthed grin frozen on her face as she looked between Adam and me. I burst out laughing when Adam briefly buried his face in his hand.

“I’m sorry!” Heidi said to him, hands on her hips, pretending to be defensive. “It’s just we’re so used to seeing you come here solo, so it’s so nice to see you two together for once.”

She put such an emphasis on the word “together” that Adam laughed and said, “Alright, take it easy.”

“Fine, fine,” Heidi said, doing a poor job of suppressing her delight before taking our orders and disappearing back into the kitchen.

Once we were finally alone, I smiled. “Wow. They really treat you like family here huh?”

“Yeah,” Adam grinned. “Speaking of family.”

“Your sister’s coming in tomorrow,” I said.

“Yeah,” Adam nodded. And for the next few moments we just looked at each other with the same slightly awkward, close-lipped smile we gave Heidi, because we both knew what was on our minds.

But Adam was the first to break the silence about it.

“What are we going to tell her?” he asked.

I wet my lips and swallowed.

It was basically the whole what are we doing question, and despite our last twelve or so hours, I had no idea.

I knew I had feelings for Adam. Strong ones. I knew I wanted to be with him.

But as much as I imagined myself in bed with him, entwined with him, enjoying late nights and early mornings with him, I couldn’t quite imagine us doing normal couple things. Walking down the street hand in hand. Being together in the traditional sense.

Aside from the fact that he hadn’t exactly said anything to change his mind on relationships, I was realizing that I didn’t want anyone at work to know we were involved.

It would look bad only on me. I could only imagine the looks I’d get from people like Josh MacMillan or the other assistants, especially the guys. Just thinking about the judging eyes and knowing looks I’d get around the office made me kind of shudder, so before I could think twice, I said, “We’ll just act normal around her.” Hastily, I added, “For now.”

Adam’s face was annoyingly unreadable as he nodded.

“Alright. Then it’s decided,” he said, and though he sounded entirely on board, I saw a glint in his eyes that didn’t quite match the tone of his voice. Or did I imagine that?

Did he prefer the other option? I wondered just as a little voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Adam!”

I blinked, turning just in time to see the little brown-haired boy from the picnic table, Ryan, come up to deliver Adam a crayon-scribbled drawing.

“This is for me?” Adam asked with the kind of big excitement that made every kid grin. Ryan was no exception, though after he nodded giddily, he turned and ran fast back to his table, forcing me to quietly melt in my seat as I watched Adam smile while looking over the drawing. I could barely change the look on my face in time when he glanced up with a smile and asked, “What?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly. “Just… didn’t expect you to have such intense dad energy,” I teased. He laughed.

“Pretty sure I was made to be a kick-ass dad.”

I almost snorted but caught myself and squinted. “Wait—really?”

“Yeah,” Adam said matter-of-factly while nodding his thanks at the smiling waitress who came by to drop off a bowl of mixed berries. He popped one in his mouth before asking, “Why?”

“Umm… I think because you’ve never imagined being in a relationship or getting married, so I just assumed…” I trailed off as I considered that that was a totally shitty assumption. But was it? I didn’t even know anymore.

Adam looked unfazed. “I just always imagined giving my kid all the best parts of my childhood and redoing all the parts that went wrong,” he said simply, piquing my curiosity.

Because I knew about all the parts that had gone wrong, but I’d literally never heard Adam talk about any good parts. I had kind of assumed his childhood was constant acting out, getting in trouble and butting heads with his mom until college, when he left Jersey for California and never looked back.

“Really,” I said slowly, since the only fond childhood tradition I’d heard him talk about was the Maxwell family French toast. “Care to share any of those good parts?” I asked just as our drinks arrived—a beer for Adam, a Bloody Mary for me.

Adam took a drink before he answered easily. “Baseball games. They were cheaper than basketball games and the time I caught a foul ball was the greatest day ever,” he said with a big grin that made me laugh as I pictured baby Adam.

“Amazing. How old were you?”

“Eight. But we’d been going to games since I was two. It was always Philippe’s before the game, seats in the top deck, try to catch a foul ball.”

“Cute,” I remarked, utterly charmed despite the fact that something about what he’d just said sounded off to me. I couldn’t figure out what though, nor did I care to try since Adam was now talking about how his eight-year-old self took great care of that baseball, never going anywhere without it for basically a year. I squinted.

“Is that the one that…”

“Is on my desk at the office? Yeah,” Adam smiled. But when I made a funny face, he asked, “What?”

“Nothing. I always thought it was some client’s game ball. I guess I’m just surprised, because I always saw baseball as the sport that’s your job. It’s pretty clear you like basketball better.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know. The fact that you played it pretty seriously in high school. The fact that you’re always watching a basketball game when I come over. Plus, I saw an absurdly tall stack of Lakers memoirs and books on the bottom part of your nightstand,” I said, smiling as I recalled the sight, along with the unexpectedly large number of dog-eared pages. “Kind of makes me wonder why you chose to represent baseball players instead of basketball.”

Adam raised his eyebrows, as if commending my observational skills. “I just did, I guess,” he finally said.

“Mm-hm. You realize that’s a total non-answer ever, right?”

“Yes. That was by design.”

I smirked. “Asshole,” I said just as our food came out—delivered by not only Heidi, but her two dogs trailing her, the smaller one much farther behind, but trucking along. It was a chihuahua mix that was half-blind, but it still made its way over to Adam, immediately sitting at his feet.

“Yeah, Rocky can’t see, but he knows he loves Adam,” Heidi laughed when I visibly melted at the sight. She then proceeded to crack me up with stories I never knew, namely about how Adam often walked the dogs before going to work. And as she went on, I realized just how much I didn’t know about this man.

Once upon a time, I thought I had him all figured out. I’d spent nearly every day of the past five years with him. I couldn’t remember a day where we didn’t talk at least once. I knew secrets no one else knew, could anticipate his every need at work, so I clearly knew him inside out. Right?

Wrong.

So incredibly wrong, I thought, because it was more than clear to me now that there was more to Adam Maxwell than I could have ever imagined. And as I watched him talk and smile with the staff at Gizzy’s, his eyes crinkling adorably through his laughter, I found myself wanting to know everything.

Needing to, really.

With a smile on my face, I arched an eyebrow at him once Heidi left.

“So, kids, check. I’m guessing dogs are in your future too?”

“Oh yeah,” he replied, taking a big bite of his food before he looked at me with a curious twinkle in his eye. He finished chewing before he asked, “You too, right?”

“Of course,” I replied.

His lips turned up with satisfaction.

“Good,” he said.

And for the next few seconds, we just nodded in silence, our eyes quietly glimmering on each other as some kind of wordless acknowledgement swirled in the air between us.

But when he broke into a full grin, I had to look away, because I couldn’t let him have a head-on view of me actually blushing.

Easy, I told myself, trying to remind myself not to overanalyze his remark.

But with the way he was looking at me—the way he’d been looking at me all morning—it was pretty hard not to.

And… yep. You are officially fucked, I thought, taking a long pull of my drink from my straw, because I knew what was happening right now.

I was falling for this man. So fast and hard that at this point, nothing could stop me.

I was certain of it.

28

ADAM

Standing in Engelman’s office, I thanked God for the fact that it was a pretty full room.

Because I couldn’t take my eyes off of her this morning.

Not the biggest surprise.

Even if she didn’t look fucking stunning today with her hair gathered in a bun, and her body wrapped in a cream-colored top and hip-hugging pencil skirt, I’d still be having trouble tearing my eyes off of her.

I had definitely struggled this morning when we woke up.

After hanging out for hours at Gizzy’s yesterday, we’d gone back to my place and relaxed for the rest of the day, bringing a bottle of wine out by the pool. With AJ’s head resting on my chest, we switched back and forth between talking and simply laying there, watching the sun go down.

The sky was streaked with purple, orange and gold when I got the text from Knox.

KNOX: Let’s sign that contract tomorrow.

Before I so much as pumped my fist, I flashed AJ the screen.

And the next thing I knew, she was squealing, cheering with such triumph and excitement that I couldn’t help but forget about Knox in that moment—about why I’d been quietly chasing him for years.

All I could think about was AJ. Because I knew what this meant for her.

Given how closely we worked, my success was always hers, but it was different this time. Because of RTA. Schilling. She was stronger than to let the demons from her past haunt her every day, but still, I knew this felt good, deeply satisfying—especially since she’d been the one to hook Knox. To lead that meeting and beat him at his own game of bluntness.

“This is the secret weapon right here.”

Surrounded by his team, Knox sat at Engelman’s desk, nodding at AJ and setting off a round of laughter that allowed me to keep watching her as I pleased.

I liked that she wasn’t looking at me. It gave me the chance to just soak her in as she smiled and talked to Knox, who clearly couldn’t help himself from chatting her up a bit more today, because as gorgeous as she was on her own, she was radiating happiness right now, and it was genuinely fucking mesmerizing. The glow of her skin was probably a result of the cardio we did till 2AM, but her smile was about far more than that.

It was bigger, brighter than I’d ever seen it, and I couldn’t stop staring even as she caught my eye and snuck a knowing smirk across the room that made a big-ass grin spread onto my lips.

Oh, yeah.

I was fucked.

But I kind of knew I’d be after bringing her to Gizzy’s yesterday. It was the kind of mistake that I knew I was making as I made it, that I wanted to make because as much as I knew I needed to compartmentalize my life, I couldn’t help but indulge my temptation to just bring her to that happy place of mine. The private spot that had been my secret escape for so many years. I couldn’t explain my need to be there with her. To have other people see us together.

I just knew it meant I was fucked.

But in a way that I didn’t exactly mind being right now, because oddly enough, it felt okay. Right, even.

“Too early to drink, Maxwell?”

The question came from Engelman after the room had cleared and he’d asked me to stay behind.

“We’ve had eighteen-year-old Scotch in this room at 9AM before. Is this a real question?” I asked. He laughed.

“Nah. Just a formality,” he said as he poured two glasses. “I only wish I got to see the fucks at RTA react to this news.”

“Trust me, same here.”

“You know, if you keep up this kind of work, you could be partner here soon.”

“I’m flattered, but if anyone’s going to be promoted for the Knox signing, it’s AJ. She did half the work,” I said.

Engelman chuckled. “She’s quite good at what she does, but I’m promoting Davis this year.”

“You’re shitting me. That kiss-ass?” I didn’t even try to hide my contempt, because Davis was an inept suck-up who was the son of Engelman’s college buddy, so it was pretty clear what was going on here.

Engelman shrugged. “What are you going to do, huh?” he said, as if this were just out of his hands.

“I can answer that—you can recognize AJ’s talent sooner rather than later, so you don’t lose both her and me,” I snorted, taking a drink.

“I already told you, I’ll burn Thorn Sports to the goddamned ground if you ever leave us for them,” Engelman said with a grin.

“My best friend’s run the place for the past six years, Don. If I wanted to leave, I would’ve done it awhile ago. You know LA’s my home. Always has been, always will be. And as long as I’m happy here, I’m retiring Engelman.”

“Yeah? So it’s LA forever? Even with Iain and your sister in New York?”

“They visit often enough, and everyone else I love is here,” I said so breezily that I didn’t process exactly what just came out of my mouth till moments later.

“Well, that’s music to my ears. Cheers to that,” Engelman smiled broadly.

“Cheers,” I returned.

And somewhere in the next few minutes of conversation, my mind rewound to what I’d just said.

Everyone else I love is here.

Leaning back in the leather chair, I took a drink from my glass, pretending to listen to Engelman as I realized that it was entirely true.

Holland and Iain were in New York, but the rest of my world was here in LA. Everything I wanted and needed was right here. It always had been.

I just hadn’t realized that until the past couple of weeks.

Say it, you idiot, I told myself, goading myself to admit even in my own head what I knew I felt.

But it was a first. It was different than what I was born feeling for my family. It was brand new. Well, the realization was at least. Because something told me that the feelings I had for AJ had been there for years.

I just didn’t know what I was looking at.

“Go ahead and take the day off if I got you too drunk. I know your sister’s in town,” Engelman said as I got up to leave. I smirked.

“I appreciate it, but I’m not drunk,” I said, despite the fact that I did feel a buzzing in my veins and a risky question at the tip of my tongue. In my head, I knew it was wisest to keep it reined it.

But I didn’t care.

I’d already decided to ask her.

AJ

I WAS PHYSICALLY at my desk and I was talking to Deb.

But I wasn’t actually there.

My head was back in that fantasy world that felt too good to be true. It had honestly started Sunday at brunch, when Adam came to pick me up, and since then, I hadn’t quite left.

Then again, how could I really be expected to come back to the real world?

I’d just spent two consecutive nights at Adam’s, had the most mind-blowing sex of my life and then the biggest triumph of my career thus far.

I genuinely couldn’t remember the last time I felt this happy.

Of course, there was a petty part of me wishing I could’ve been listening in when Knox called Schilling and RTA to let them know he’d gone with Adam. But that was only a tiny sliver of my brain, because the truth was that I’d never felt the need to shove anything in Schilling’s face. The only way I had ever planned on getting my revenge was by living well. Being successful. Having clients I took care of, whose careers flourished because of me. The goal was to be happy, proud of myself.

I had never needed anything more than that.

But this victory with Knox?

Definitely a fun little bonus, I thought just as I watched several heads in The Pit—namely Liza’s and Kenzie’s—whip up at the same time.

Usually the sign that Adam was coming.

I smiled when I caught sight of him, and I thanked God that today, we had an excuse to be grinning at each other from well across the floor.

Catching the look on my face, Deb looked over her shoulder.

“Lord, that smile. I’ve never seen him so happy before,” she remarked. I laughed.

“Yeah. He was just really dying to land Knox,” I said, though I knew in my heart that that smile wasn’t for Knox.

It was entirely for me.

“AJ, a word?” Adam said, not breaking his stride as he nodded for me to follow him in.

Excusing myself from Deb, I got up from my desk, trailing Adam with a smile on my face that I had to bite back as soon as I closed the door behind me, because I knew as soon as it clicked shut, I’d feel Adam’s body against mine. And I was right.

The door had barely closed before I was pressed against it, Adam’s hands cupping my face as he sealed his lips against mine, kissing me like he hadn’t just seen me thirty minutes ago. I was breathless, eyes fluttering when he pulled away, still holding my face and searching me so earnestly that I couldn’t help my shy smile.

“What?” I whispered.

“What if we just told her?” he asked.

“Told who what?”

“Holland,” he said, making me still for a moment. The smile was still on my lips, but I eyed Adam with a cross between nerves and amusement, because he didn’t have to answer the rest of my question for me to know what he wanted to tell her.

“Adam.” My lips spoke before I even knew what I was going to say, because I certainly didn’t know exactly what I was feeling. “Why do you want to?” I asked gently. “We’re not…” Dating, I wanted to say. But I rephrased myself. “We don’t know anything for sure right now,” I said softly.

“I do,” he returned swiftly. “I know I can’t live without you,” he said—and with such confidence and ease that the breath had barely the chance to catch in my throat before he was going on. “It’s been the case for years and I’ve always known it, but now I know it differently. I want to be with you. I’m never going to want to be with anyone else. I know that, AJ.”

My heart was pounding. I wasn’t sure when that started, but it was, and it was so loud that I told myself perhaps I’d imagined it. I could barely hear anything besides my own frantic pulse, so what made me think I’d really just heard Adam Maxwell tell me that he wanted to be with me and only me?

Oh, I don’t know.

Just the fact that he said it and this is real and you’re denying this why?

My head spun as I tried to wrap my mind around the rush of shock and excitement and completely paralyzing fear. I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth when I gathered myself.

But when I finally did, the answer apparently was laughter.

The happy kind.

“You’re crazy,” I said, to which he laughed too.

“Maybe. But if I am, it’s your fault.”

“Adam, I…” I trailed off, a million questions zipping through my brain. Were we together? Was I his girlfriend? How were we going to navigate things at work? Were we going to have secret dates at Gizzy’s till one of us left Engelman for another agency? But neither of us were going to do that. We loved it here. “I don’t know yet, Adam,” I breathed out, overwhelmed. “I know it would make her so happy and I know it would make her feel like we’re this family, but I’m scared too.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” Adam said assuringly, his voice a murmur as he brushed a lock of hair from my face. “You have time to think about it.”

“We only have five hours before dinner,” I laughed.

“Well then you have five hours to think about it,” he smirked. “And you can always say no,” he added. “It wouldn’t change anything.”

“It wouldn’t change the way you feel?” I questioned. His eyebrows furrowed genuinely.

“Why would it?”

My heart quietly soared as I gave a little shrug.

Those fucking dimples. One look at them and my brain short-circuited, telling me to just zip it with the questions and tell him yes.

But I made sure to take the next few hours to think. To weigh my options. To try and come down from my heights and reason with myself, pointing out to myself that we’d just skipped a million steps here.

We hadn’t been on a real date. We hadn’t said those three words. We’d always had a different, complicated, rule-bending relationship, but I wasn’t sure that meant we could just fast-track ourselves to being together. Forever.

I’m never going to want to be with anyone else.

I only want to be with you.

Another few hours later, and I hadn’t fully processed that he’d really said these words.

So I did what I always did when I needed help wrapping my mind around something.

“He really said that?” Georgia squealed when I finally found a free minute to run off to the bathroom and get her on the phone.

I did my best not to full-on freak out with Georgia as I confirmed that yes, Adam really did say that.

“AJ, you know it’s not even about telling Holland, right?” Georgia said excitedly. “I mean it is, but it isn’t, because the reason he even asked you that today was because he realized you’re his endgame. He’s a man who knows what he wants, and he wants you. And only you.”

“Georgia… I would be lying if I said I didn’t love the way that sounds, but this all happened so fast,” I pointed, closing my eyes and feeling my eyebrows pinch together as I said it. “It hasn’t been a month since that weekend in Palm Beach. How the hell would he really know that he wants to be with me forever?”

“AJ, come on. He’s lived the last five years of his life with you by his side. Every step of the way. And the same goes for you,” she said in an uncharacteristically know-it-all voice that both amused me and made me break into a giddy smile. “Besides, don’t you remember what I told you that weekend in Palm Beach?”

I paused to think about it. “Honestly, no. All I remember is your whole ‘distance makes the orgasm stronger’ thing.”

Georgia giggled. “Okay, fine. Well, what I told you at the time was for Caspar. But turns out it should’ve been for Adam the whole time.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know. That all that attraction, all those feelings are there. They’ve always been there. They’ve just been buried under a million layers of life and stress and all the complexities of your relationship, but it only ever takes one night to wake it all up,” she said, making my floating stare glaze over as she stunned me with not only the memory of her words that night but how right she was.

How they applied perfectly to Adam.

“I can tell from your silence that you know I’m absolutely right,” Georgia said smugly. I snorted.

“Perhaps,” I said before just staring in space for five seconds. “So now what?” I finally asked.

“Well, if you’re asking for my opinion, you know me. I’ve been quietly Team Adam this whole time, so I say tell Holland tonight,” Georgia said. “You might not be able to act like a couple for awhile, but at least let yourself have it tonight.”

IT WAS 7PM. Dinner was at 8PM, but Adam and I had planned to get drinks before meeting up with Holland and Iain.

Of course, that plan was derailed when Knox called at 6PM, inviting Adam to grab drinks with him and his girlfriend before his flight back to West Palm Beach.

“Please just come with me,” Adam said, appearing at my desk before he headed out. “We both know you’re the reason he signed today.”

I smiled. “Whether or not I was, you’re still his agent. I’ll have a client of my own someday, but this one’s yours, and he clearly wants some bonding time, which is… a pretty big deal, considering what an unfriendly little shit he’s been for so long.”

Adam laughed. “Fair enough. So you’re just going to leave for dinner from here?”

I nodded. “The restaurant is closer to here than from my AirBnB, and the bathroom has better lighting for when I do my makeup.”

A curious look flickered in his eye and as a few coworkers walked by, he lowered his voice. “You’re still not telling me what you’re wearing tonight?” he asked, referring to our plans for after dinner, which were to go with Holland and Iain to Holland’s work party. Considering she worked for one of the biggest lingerie brands in the world, we had a hunch the vibe would be at least a little bit sultry.

I smirked. “Nope. You’ll just have to see when you get there,” I said.

Relenting, he laughed. “Alright. Guess that gives me motivation to get this over with,” he said.

But just as he turned to go, I said, “Hey.”

He turned around. “Yeah?”

I drank in that faint, gorgeously peaceful smile on his face as he looked at me, unsuspecting.

“Let’s tell her,” I said, a thrill tingling over every inch of my skin as I watched the excitement flash in Adam’s eyes. He held his stare on me, the satisfaction spreading his lips till he was hiding his grin behind his hand, which stroked across his jaw.

I knew all he wanted right now was to touch me. Put his hands all over me. But with the office still full, he disguised it, letting that electric gaze linger one more second before he simply nodded.

“Sounds good,” he said in his most professional voice.

I knew it had both of us laughing to ourselves as he walked off.

To be perfectly honest, it had me laughing to myself several times over the next twenty minutes, which probably explained the new nickname Josh MacMillan had for me when he swung by my desk.

“Hey, Giggles. Congrats on Knox.”

I looked up. “Thank you,” I said as he nodded at my garment bag and striped pouch sitting on my desk.

“What’s all this?” he asked.

“A dress. And makeup.”

Josh wagged his eyebrows. “Hot date tonight?”

Technically, I thought, though I answered, “No. Adam’s little sister is in town so we’re going to meet up with her.”

“Got it,” Josh said before lifting an eyebrow. “You gonna invite me?”

“No, Josh,” I snorted. “Is there a reason you’re at my desk, by the way?” I asked.

“Yeah. Adam was supposed to email me the Slater contracts, but then he got drunk with Engelman in the middle of the day and forgot,” he answered. “Can you do your boss’s job and send it to me?”

“Sure.”

Getting up, I went into Adam’s office, leaning over his desk and typing in the password to his laptop that he’d given me years ago for these specific situations. They happened often enough, which was why I knew where everything was organized on his desktop and was able to find the Slater contracts within ten seconds. Once I was done emailing it to Josh, I closed out Adam’s mail window.

But as soon as I did, I saw another window hidden perfectly behind it.

For whatever reason, a chill shot up my spine as I stared at the image in front of me, which was a Facebook picture of a pretty, smiling blonde flashing her tongue and a peace sign for the camera while grilling in some big, suburban backyard.

My eyes shifted to the right of the photo to read her name.

Lyla Townsend.

I could see the first four letters of her name in the seven other tabs open. The next four tabs were both from her Facebook. Then there were two Instagram tabs. The last one was from YouTube and though I told myself not to click on it, I did exactly that.

And what I found was a video of Lyla.

With Knox.

Sean’s first playoff win/Our anniversary!!!

One look at that title and my heart was suddenly pounding, and before I could stop myself, I was Googling “Lyla Townsend Sean Knox.”

The results I got confirmed what was already obvious. She was his girlfriend. His current girlfriend.

And someone Adam clearly had a vested interest in.

Stepping back, I stared at the screen, feeling a sudden pit in my stomach despite my mind racing to give me a dozen explanations.

He was just trying to do research. To know everything he needed in order to land Knox.

But our last meeting with Knox was last week. We signed him this morning. There was no reason for him to be Internet-stalking the girlfriend today, I thought just as I remembered something.

The mystery letter he’d written. For someone living in Asheville, North Carolina.

No…

With a single click, I confirmed that was where Lyla lived with Knox. That she had stayed there while he went to West Palm Beach for Spring Training.

You have got to be kidding me, Adam, I thought, my temples pulsing as I made all the connections.

“All set, sweetheart?” Josh grinned when I emerged from Adam’s office.

“All set,” I said, giving him a natural smile that hid my true emotions and every dark thought seeping into my brain, telling me that Adam Maxwell was a liar.

That there was far more to his pursuit of Knox that he had ever let on.

29

AJ

I smoothed my hands down the sides of my dress as I got into the restaurant.

I was twenty minutes early, because I was afraid I wouldn’t show up at all if I didn’t just leave, and the last thing I wanted to do was bail on Holland.

Even if the last place I wanted to be right now was in public—with Adam.

Maybe it had been a brash move, but I had texted him before leaving. Only five words but, I knew they’d hurt.

Hold off on telling her.

I tried to reason with myself to wait. To tell him in person. But then I’d imagined him and Holland getting to the restaurant early. I’d imagined his sister immediately reading the difference in his smile and getting the good news out of him before I could get there, which would be a problem, because as excited as I’d been just a few hours ago about coming out as a couple—telling Holland that Adam and I were together—there was no way I could do that now, or even put an act on till things perhaps smoothed over.

Because this wasn’t a little spat or our usual bickering.

This was Adam harboring some secret obsession with Knox’s girlfriend. It was as big of a lie by omission that I could possibly imagine, and just thinking of all the overtime and extra hours we’d put in pursuing Knox together just so Adam could, I don’t know, be closer to his girlfriend made me feel like a dumbass. An absolute fool.

“AJ!”

The excited squeal I heard was Holland’s, so with a sharp inhale, I mustered up my best happy face and spun around.

“Hey, you!” I smiled big, laughing as she burst over, a blur of blonde hair and navy satin. “God, look at this dress, girl, you look great!” I said, hugging her as I waved over her shoulder at Iain, who looked like the picture of content as he trailed her, hands in the pockets of his sharp grey suit and watching her with an easy smile. I grinned, grateful for the reason to show some genuine joy as I noticed the navy of his tie matching Holland’s satin slip dress.

“I mean the dress code was ‘lingerie-inspired,’ so this is what I came up with,” Holland giggled before pulling back and promptly gesturing with wide-eyed excitement at me. “Ahh! AJ! Are you kidding me? You totally nailed it!” she squealed as she stepped back to take in my dress.

In any other circumstance—namely one where I wasn’t stupidly and messily involved with my boss—I would’ve ignored the lingerie-inspired dress code for this party and just come in a basic black dress. But because I’d wanted to knock Adam’s socks off, I’d gone with something way out of my ordinary: a black lace corset dress with a demi-cup bust to show more than enough cleavage, and opaque detailing to cover the parts that needed to be covered, but sheerness everywhere else.

I was wearing a blazer over it now, just to keep myself covered up while only at dinner, but since picking it up during lunch today, I’d been so eager to put this dress on. Beyond excited for him to see me in it. But now I felt oddly guilty because I was essentially going to be riling him up just so I could ignore him. And be angry at him. Because honestly, what the fuck? I hadn’t expected the words he’d said to me today and I’d tried my hardest to stay balanced. Reasonable. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. To let myself get completely swept up.

But then I did.

And as soon as I caved and gave myself permission to feel everything I felt for Adam, I got slapped in the face with eight tabs worth of his stalkerish fixation on Lyla Townsend.

You should’ve known it was too good to be true, I told myself as the hostess led the three of us to our booth.

“So how much celebratory whiskey has Adam already consumed today?” Iain cracked as we sat down. “Congratulations on Knox, by the way.”

I smarted, hopefully not noticeably. “Thank you,” I said graciously, despite the fact that it was hitting me again—that I had essentially helped Adam stalk this girl and insert himself into her life. “No idea on the whiskey thing, but the number’s probably high,” I joked, managing a laugh with them as I suddenly remembered that Adam had a high school girlfriend.

He’d been with her three years. I had no idea how they ended, but suddenly I wanted to see where Lyla Townsend was from. If she had always been from Asheville or if she had grown up in New Jersey.

“So.” Holland reached across the table to touch my hand. “Now that that douche Caspar is totally out of the picture, are you looking to start dating again?” she asked, a mischievous little twinkle in her eye. When I squinted playfully at her, Iain laughed.

“We’ve gotten to know the new head of marketing at Minx. His name is Gavin and he’s a good guy, so naturally, Holland wants to set him up with you.”

My heart thumped as I raised my eyebrows, looking from Iain to Holland, who grinned boldly. “I know it’s a little soon, but it could just be for fun, and if I show you a picture, you’re definitely going to say—oh! Hi!”

I blinked, confused for all of a second before I felt a prickle of heat travel up the back of my neck. Suddenly stiff, I swallowed, sensing Adam’s presence a second before I heard his jovial voice.

“Hey, you.” I looked to my right to see him grinning wide as Holland jumped up to give him a hug. He kissed the top of his head before turning to Iain, who slid out of the booth to give him their usual handshake-half-hug greeting.

He seemed perfectly happy, and the smile was still on his face when he turned to me. But like a light switch, his cheery gaze flickered to something so hard and steely I felt a lump form in my throat. “What’s up,” he said to me casually, like he was greeting any one of his guy friends. It wasn’t unlike how he had greeted me at past work events when we had seen each other just hours before.

But obviously, this situation was a little different.

“Hey,” I said normally as everyone sat down. And as Adam started talking to Holland and Iain about their flight and which hotel they were in, I told myself to be rational about my anger.

You’re mad because he lied about Knox. And Lyla.

You cannot be mad that he’s barely acknowledged you and is treating you like nothing ever happened, because that is literally what you asked him to do when you told him to hold off on telling Holland. He has no idea why you said it and he’s hurt.

He’s trying to act normal. Just like you.

I reminded myself that, but still, half of me seethed, annoyed at how good Adam was at faking normal.

Maybe because that was what he’d been doing this whole time with me, for who knows how long. While I thought we were pursuing Knox because of baseball, we were actually pursuing him because of a girl. And all through that, I’d laughed and smiled with Adam the way he was doing with Holland and Iain right now. I’d been his friend. His loyal assistant.

I’d slept with him. Fallen for him.

You idiot, I told myself as Adam’s teasing voice next to me broke through the thick haze of my thoughts.

“Holland. What are you so busy doing on your phone?”

I blinked, quickly coming to, because I already knew the answer.

“I’m just trying to find a picture of Gavin for AJ,” Holland said.

I felt the instant tension in the air as Adam stilled beside me. I caught the look he exchanged with Iain across the table, and suddenly I realized that Iain knew.

About Adam and me.

Perhaps not all of it, but some of it, because judging by the flash of apology in his eye, Adam was shooting him some sort of death look.

My mind raced for a second.

If Iain has known, but didn’t tell Holland, it’s because he hoped this would end. He knew this was a bad idea, I told myself as Adam finally broke the silence Holland didn’t even seem to notice.

“Who’s Gavin?” he asked, and though his voice was light, casual, I could make out the hint of tightness. Irritation.

“He’s a new friend we’re going to introduce to AJ,” she said as she handed her phone across the table to me. Whatever look Adam flashed her made her laugh and clarify, “Just for fun. Nothing serious.”

Oh, he won’t like that either, Holland, I thought as I took her phone and looked at the photo of Gavin.

I almost wanted to laugh. Mostly because he was on a boat. Shirtless, tanned. Conventionally handsome.

Absolutely nothing compared to Adam.

Even before the whirlwind of the past few weeks, I wouldn’t have noticed a Gavin walking down the street, because Adam had long dulled my ability to be impressed by other men. I may not have realized it at the time, but it was just what happened when someone spent every day with a man like Adam. Every day, even when I wasn’t looking at him like that, he was still seeping into my brain. My bloodstream. He was still becoming deep enough a part of me that eventually, it was just something I knew: That no other man was like him.

No one had eyes as blue, a jawline as sharp. They didn’t have his smile, his charm or that tinge of mischief in that low, sexy voice. They didn’t have all that height and lean muscle or the way he looked just watching you while leaning back on leather, wearing a sharp white button-down with the sleeves rolled up.

Had I not already been with Caspar, been through the Schilling mess with him before I met Adam, I would’ve never noticed him either.

And realizing this now only pissed me off.

Because it was like shining a light on the fact that Adam had been in my head, under my skin all these years, in all the ways I tried to tell myself he wasn’t. I thought we were just as close as we could be as friends. A boss and assistant. Everything we learned about each other and did for each other was for the sake of work. Being the absolute best team at the office.

That was what I thought.

But I was so incredibly wrong.

The reality was that this whole time, I’d been setting myself up to want one man and one man only. I’d been through my most formative years with him. I’d lived my proudest moments with him. He fit me best, and I was crazy about him.

Enough so that I could barely look at this picture of another man without wanting to laugh and say, I got my man, I’m good. They were the words I felt in my heart.

Of course, they weren’t the ones that left my lips.

“Damn. He’s cute,” I said, eyebrows up and grinning.

“He’s better in motion,” Holland said as Iain dipped his head and said something to her I couldn’t hear. But Holland relayed it. “He’s telling me to stop being so aggressive, but I’m honestly not,” she laughed to me, then him. “It doesn’t have to happen. I only thought of it because I saw what you were wearing,” she said to me.

Adam looked over at me fast enough that Holland looked at him.

“What is she wearing?” he said flatly, looking at my blazer. From the side, it was all he could see, save for a bit of the skirt of my dress.

I wasn’t sure if I imagined the awkwardness as Holland looked at her brother.

“Uhh. It’s like, a lacy corset dress,” she said slowly. “ ‘Cause of the dress code for the party tonight.”

The awkwardness was definitely not imagined as she suddenly shifted in her seat and frowned at Iain in a wordless question. I didn’t know exactly what she was asking, but I felt something shift in the air, making it so stifling that I wanted to excuse myself to the bathroom. But something told me Holland would follow, and I didn’t want to explain to her what was happening, because I wasn’t entirely sure myself, so instead, I sucked it up till the server arrived to take our drink orders.

Adam and I ordered first, and as soon as the server started speaking to Holland, I felt Adam’s attention shift swiftly back to me. It had been on me since the mention of Gavin. He hadn’t looked me in the eye once, but I could feel it in the tension emanating from his body, and now that both Holland and Iain were talking to the server, it was a thousand times as palpable.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

He said the words under his breath, his face angled toward me as he looked at the dinner menu.

“Tell me why you wanted Knox,” I countered. “The real reason.”

I watched as Adam’s scanning eyes stopped at a random point of the menu. It only ignited the fire in my veins, because it was an admission. Of guilt. And now he was trying to understand how I knew. How I realized he’d had ulterior motives with Knox the whole time.

Probably for our sake, Iain was asking about their whiskey selection, so while I had the time, I cut to the chase.

“You were supposed to email Josh a contract, I did it for you and I saw the pictures you had up of Lyla. I saw the video.” My voice was soft but trembling as I looked up to see Adam’s jaw tightening. “Who is she to you?” I demanded quietly.

He shook his head. His voice was stiff as he said, “No one.”

“Then why are you stalking her online?” I asked. When he didn’t answer, I repeated myself. “Who is she, Adam?”

“I can’t talk about this right now.”

The fire lit in my veins as I peered at Adam. The way his face went blank. Expressionless. The way he wasn’t looking at me, still pretending to read the stupid menu.

“Then just tell me one thing. Was your interest in Knox personal or professional?” I asked.

His jaw ticked. “Personal.”

“Okay,” I said—and with a finality I didn’t fully understand myself until ten, twenty minutes later, when I was talking to Holland and chose to ask about her colleague Gavin.

I pushed through, even as she sounded surprised by my interest. Even as she suddenly backtracked, saying maybe it was too soon after Caspar. But since I insisted I was completely over Caspar, she obliged my interest, answering my questions as I sat next to Adam, who was talking to Iain about baseball, clients.

But tuned in entirely to me.

I knew him well enough to know when he was shooting the shit or actually talking, and right now, it wasn’t the latter.

It made me feel malicious. Like I was doing the opposite of my usual instinct, which was to look out for Adam. To protect him and make his life as seamless as possible.

But he wasn’t doing the same for me.

He knew I’d always had his back. Been honest with him. He knew how much I cared about him—before we got together, but especially after.

He knew I was hurt.

But he was still choosing to stay silent. To protect whatever truth he had with Lyla Townsend.

So, fuck it, I thought.

If he didn’t care enough about me to give me an answer, I was going to do my best to care less about him.

30

ADAM

It was like the last night in Palm Beach all over again, but worse.

By miles.

For starters, we weren’t at some buttoned-up Engelman fundraiser. We were at a party being thrown by one of the biggest lingerie brands in the world. The vibe of the room was distinctly different than that of the room in Palm Beach. There, we had chandeliers, a grand piano, servers gliding around in vests.

Here, we had a dim-lit club, a quasi-burlesque theme and women wearing dresses that could’ve doubled as lingerie. There was more sexual energy floating in the air than I’d ever felt in one room, and I would’ve been more than enjoying it if things tonight had gone as planned.

If I could’ve been not only with AJ, but letting my hands roam freely on her body. Slipping that blazer off her shoulders so I could see what she was wearing underneath, and knowing that it was mine for the taking.

Because when I’d left her at the office this evening, that was what I had felt in my bones.

That she was mine.

But as I watched her from across the room, it was obvious that she thought otherwise.

“Something you need to tell me?”

I heard Iain’s question a second before he leaned against the spot at the bar in front of me, effectively blocking my view. Instead of craning my neck to adjust, I took a drink of my whiskey, because despite my instinct to look at Iain before, I didn’t actually know what he knew. I hadn’t told him shit.

But when he smirked and leaned his back against the bar, not only clearing my view but turning his head to look at AJ and Gavin, I realized I hadn’t actually done the stellar job of keeping my business a secret the past couple weeks.

“It’s pretty obvious what’s going on between you two,” he said. “Kind of got the sense when you magically stopped talking about AJ after a weekend of desperately wanting to fuck her brains out.”

“I told you it was a fluke I’d get over.”

“And I believed you till you stopped talking about AJ altogether whenever we were on the phone. I usually hear one or two stories about her, something she did, something funny she said. But suddenly, I was getting nothing despite the fact that you guys weren’t arguing, and considering it hadn’t been like that once in the past five years, it wasn’t really hard to figure out what was happening,” Iain said, wearing the exact kind of easy smugness of his face that AJ frequently wanted to kill me for. Now I understood that rage. Especially as Iain laughed. “I mean it was obvious enough that Holland figured it out mid-sentence at dinner.”

“Alright, take it easy. I’m in a shitty spot right now and you’re having the goddamned time of your life over here.”

“Sorry. I’ve just never seen you like this and I do feel for you. But it’s also hilarious.”

I shot Iain daggers. “Why.”

To my deep irritation, he turned and ordered a drink before answering. “Because something’s always been there between you two. For years. Holland’s known it. I’ve known it. She makes jokes all the time about bringing a butter knife when she goes to hang out with you two.”

“I don’t need to know punchline of this.”

Iain smirked. “To cut the sexual tension.”

For fuck’s sake.

“Right.” I nodded, somewhat amused but unable to smile, because a movement in the corner of my eye seized my attention, and when I turned, I saw AJ doing what I’d been dreading all goddamned night.

“Ah, shit. Here we go,” Iain said, grabbing his drink off the bar and turning to watch with me as she gently arched her back, still talking as she let that blazer slide off her smooth shoulders and down her arms.

Leaving her in a dress that made me want to punch a hole in the wall.

“Fucking Christ,” I growled between gnashed teeth, white-knuckling my drink as I stared, because I had no idea what the fuck that dress was, but I knew she’d worn it to make me want to rip it clean off her body.

I couldn’t tell if it was an illusion, but it looked totally sheer around her waist and ribs, and a little bit down her hips. It had me pretty fucking certain she wasn’t wearing panties, which was double the torture, because I already knew she wasn’t wearing a bra. The lacy cups holding her tits looked just a little too small, pushing her cleavage up in a way that was impossible not to look at.

And that made my temper rise fast, because she wasn’t standing beside me in that dress like she was supposed to. She was standing with some guy who was grinning like an asshole, barely trying to hide the way his eyes lit up like he’d won the jackpot.

“You look like you’re going to have an aneurysm.”

Iain’s remark pierced my consciousness but did nothing to piss me off more, because my fury was already at capacity.

“If he touches her, I’ll kill him.”

“Please don’t do that,” Iain said flatly. “We don’t do that shit anymore.”

I slid my eyes to him and that rare reference to our rowdier past. “You don’t,” I said, making him snort.

“Neither do you, jackass. We both have careers now. And women in our lives who’ve made us better. Smarter.” From the corner of my eye, I saw him take a drink, still watching me before he asked it. “What did you do to fuck up?”

“She found out about something she wasn’t supposed to know.”

“You gonna tell me what?” he asked.

“No,” I said, and he simply nodded, because if anybody did, Iain understood having private matters you just didn’t talk about. He’d had plenty of his own. We’d both battled our demons side by side during college and law school. We had our shitty ways of dealing, had been through a thousand stupid, reckless decisions together. We both knew what it was like to have to blow off steam pretty much every night, because there were things in our lives that were never going to be settled.

The difference was that I was the one person who knew all about Iain’s past. At least before Holland came along. I knew why my best friend once had that taste for chaos. Trouble. Being reckless.

Iain, however, knew nothing about my life before I met him. Nobody knew.

Except for the people involved.

Leaning back on the bar, Iain took a leisurely drink. “You’re wasting time,” he said.

My stare shifted to him, but I said nothing. He looked at me.

“If you want her, Adam, tell her the truth. All of it,” he said, still relaxed but fully serious now. “Everyone has a past. Doesn’t mean we have to live in it. I’m telling you this, because I know now. I kept secrets too. I lived a double life. I did all the same things you’re doing, because we’re the same person in too many ways. We’ve always known that.”

My gaze drifted as I thought about it, because I knew he was right. We were both at least a little fucked in the head. It was probably what drew us to each other in college.

But now he was out of that place.

And I wasn’t.

“It took you long enough to realize she was the one. Don’t let it take longer,” Iain said, watching me as I watched her. “It’s not worth losing her. You know I can tell you that from experience.”

I did know that. I knew exactly what kind of darkness he had been through. What my sister saw him out of.

I also knew I was never going to let AJ leave with anyone but me.

I’d known it since the moment I’d sat next to her at dinner. Knew it even after she stopped speaking to me. What I felt for her wasn’t something that was going to go away. Ever.

And I’d be damned if I let anyone think for a second that she wasn’t mine.

“Easy,” Iain said as I watched that asshole touch her hip.

In a flash, my temper flared. It came back angrier than before as I stared at her. As images flooded my brain. Our bodies tangled in my sheets. Her naked pussy under that dress.

Her smile was nervous. I could see it. And I knew exactly why.

Because like she always did, she sensed my gaze.

She didn’t look my way. I doubted she knew where in the crowded room I even was. But she knew I was watching, waiting for him to try it again.

And as soon as he did, I was off.

31

AJ

It wasn’t good to force things.

But I’d tried it.

I’d smiled and flirted. Told myself I like the way this man looked. He was polite and courteous. Interesting. He did his best not to look when I shed my blazer, but I could see in his eyes, in his smile that he liked the way I looked in this dress. Maybe even as much as Adam did.

But probably not.

I’d felt his eyes on me as soon as I’d gone off with Holland, having her introduce me before she got whisked off for work. His attention had been so rapt on me that I’d felt it practically sizzling on my skin, making me so hot that I reasoned it was his fault.

A part of me had decided to keep the blazer on the whole party. To stay covered up since I’d only gotten dressed for Adam.

But then I was burning up. From his stare. From my own anger. So off went the blazer, but somehow, it only made me feel hotter. It made me feel urgency spiking the air. From Adam. From Gavin. He’d been reserved with his flirting before, but once I had all that bare skin showing, he kicked it up a notch.

When he slid his hand along my hip, I actually felt Adam’s fury.

Mine too.

Because it was at that very second that I knew this was pointless. That I felt nothing here. Wanted no part of this man. I wasn’t going to succeed at forcing anything here, which meant I was leading someone on, and even if it was for just ten minutes, I hated that.

I hated this whole situation. That his touch had only made me crave Adam’s.

There was no shortage of things to be pissed about, and I did such a bad job of hiding it that Gavin noticed. Asked if I was okay.

Then he touched my hip again, and I felt my heart leap out of my chest.

Because I knew Adam was coming.

From which direction, I wasn’t sure, so I excused myself. Heart pounding, I angled through the crowd, my heeled feet clacking against the floor as I made my way to the downstairs restroom that Holland had told me about when the line for the regular one was too long.

I was pretty sure it was for Minx employees only, but I didn’t care. I needed somewhere to go to catch my breath and force my thoughts to settle, because they were on a rampage right now, fully and furiously realizing something that I wished I could know with full happiness.

That he was the only one.

That there was no one in the world who could make me feel as good, as whole. As alive. Everything in my heart and my mind pointed toward me being with Adam and nobody else, and all I wanted was to feel the joy of all this without feeling the hurt of his secret as well.

I just wanted to love him without feeling stupid. And lied to.

“God,” I hissed under my breath despite the fact that I was alone once I got downstairs.

At least I was in this area. It was a small room separating the hall and the restroom, with just a long table and mirror on one wall and a tufted satin bench against the other. I plopped down on the bench for a little, staring at my own flushed reflection for about ten seconds before I realized I had no capability whatsoever to sit still. My skin was hot, my muscles were restless, and my blood was thrumming in my veins. The stark silence of the room made the sound of my pulse unbearable so in a flash, I was on my feet, taking two hard strides toward the door before it flew open, forcing me to stop so hard in my tracks that my heart threw itself against my chest.

I reeled from the thump of pressure as I stood there frozen, staring at Adam, my eyes wild but my throat unmoving as my breath stayed hitched inside.

The only movement came from the door falling shut behind him as he stood before me, fury emanating from his visibly tense body. His jacket was off and his shoulders looked rigid, ready to bust the seams on his shirt. Fire lit the deep blue of his eyes as they fixed tightly on me. But when he spoke, his voice, albeit steely, was firm. Controlled.

“I met her today,” he said as the door clicked shut behind him. “I’ve never met her before. I don’t know her. I don’t think about her. She’s not the reason I went after Knox. I understand what you think you saw, AJ, but you have to know it isn’t that, because I would never in my life do anything to betray your trust. I would never do anything to embarrass you or hurt you. Ever.”

The certainty in his voice made my heart pound.

“There’s no one in this world I need like I need you, AJ. There’s nothing that matters the way you matter to me. You’re the only one I’m ever going to want or need. You have to know that.”

My heart ached and soared at the same time.

I wanted to believe him. In fact, I already did. But my pride knew I needed to demand some kind of proof. A better explanation. “Why did you need to sign Knox then?” I asked, my voice firm despite the slight tremble. “And why did you have those tabs up if not for her?”

The hollow of Adam’s cheek flexed as he clenched his teeth. “It’s a long, complicated explanation,” he said as he took a step forward. “And I’ll give you every word of it tonight. Once we’re alone.”

“We’re alone right now,” I said, solely to be resistant. But I could see the way it backfired as Adam’s wolfish eyes dropped down to my dress.

“I’m aware,” he said, his husky voice forcing a hammering in my heart, an unwanted throbbing between my legs.

My pulse jumped as he took another step forward, forcing me to back up. “I don’t want you right now,” I blurted.

He lifted his hard stare. “Who do you want then? Him?”

I swallowed. I knew who he was talking about but I’d already forgotten that guy’s name.

I shook my head. I didn’t know what I was saying no to anymore. I wanted Adam. I wanted answers. I didn’t know what I was thinking. I just knew I had every emotion inside me crashing together, bubbling to the surface and forcing hot anger and need to burst from my lips as Adam pushed me up against the wall and jerked my hips into his body.

I gasped as his tongue licked a torrid line up my neck, and though I struggled against him, trying to push him off of me, I couldn’t resist once his hands dropped down and ripped my dress up, exposing my bareness to the cold air and making me immediately ache for his touch.

“Tell me who you want.” Adam’s fingertips parted my folds, teasing the length of my wetness, drawing his touch gently back and forth before pushing his fingers inside and muffling my cry with a kiss. “Tell me the truth,” he hissed, our lips brushing together, moving against each other as I confessed.

“You.”

I moaned as my answer deepened the stroke of his tongue in my mouth and his fingers in my pussy. My arms clung tight around my neck as I both gasped for breath and kissed him back, feeling the hot pleasure flood my body, my brain, till I couldn’t think about anything but him. His touch and his taste, and the hot desire thickening the air in the room. It made it feel like a sauna as Adam tunneled inside me, forcing me to moan into his mouth as he fucked my pussy with his fingers while rubbing my clit with his palm. I was so wet I could hear it and as my walls contracted around him, I felt Adam groaning from the sheer pleasure of knowing he had me. I was warm all over, seconds from exploding as I grasped him tightly.

“Let me hear it,” he whispered, so I gave it to him. My cries were muffled against his mouth as my orgasm rocked through me, making me crumble against his hard body. And as he held me tight, he murmured against my mouth, into my skin, telling me everything I wanted to hear. That I was his and nobody else’s.

That he was mine and nobody’s else’s.

He kissed me as he pulled my skirt back down over my thighs, and I lost track of how long we stayed there with our lips locked, my palm flat on his chest and my other hand in his, our fingers locked tightly at our sides.

There was one more thing I wanted him to tell me before we left, and considering we hadn’t been at this party for long, I didn’t think I would hear it. But when Adam was finally able to tear his lips from mine, he looked me in the eye and said, “We’re going home.”

I didn’t argue.

32

ADAM

I’d passed Iain talking to a few others at the bar on the way out with AJ. We’d exchanged a passing nod, but I didn’t stop to say bye nor did he expect me to.

But I did get his text as soon as AJ and I got into a car.

IAIN: Atta boy. I’ll tell Holland you said goodnight.

I laughed.

And thankfully, it was enough to lighten my mood a little. To ease the tension in my shoulders and remind me that I was good now. I had AJ with me, sitting next to me in the backseat, our hands still intertwined.

I had yet to explain a thing to her, but she trusted that I was telling her the truth nonetheless, and I was beyond grateful for that, because it had been all of three hours tonight that I didn’t feel like I had her. Her friendship or whatever else.

Three hours and I couldn’t take it.

It made it easier to swallow the fact that I was going to tell her something I’d never told anyone—not even Iain during one of our thousands of mindless, hammered nights in college. Even when my brain was annihilated, blackout drunk, it had never come out.

Maybe because I was that ashamed. Or because it was just too difficult to explain.

I was actually grateful when AJ spoke up first.

We were stuck in traffic for a little, and at a random red light, she said, “I know it has to do with Jeannie.”

Her voice was soft, almost sleepy. Combined with the way she ran her thumb over the back of my hand, it kind of made me feel that way too. Tired and relaxed as I nodded in reply.

“She never wanted me.”

AJ was silent for a little, and I could feel her gaze on me as I stared ahead at the driver in front of me, the traffic. The radio was on, but whether or not it was, I didn’t really think about the fact that some stranger was here, potentially listening to our conversation. I didn’t think he was, but AJ lowered her voice to a whisper nonetheless.

“She never wanted to get pregnant?” she asked. I shook my head.

“She was never pregnant with me. I didn’t meet her till I was nine.”

AJ froze next to me as something strange happened in my lungs. It felt like they filled with air.

I wasn’t sure how many seconds passed before I turned to look at AJ, but I knew she was still wearing the same facial expression as that first second she processed my words, because it was still paralyzed on something blank. Stunned. The only movement came in the shock flickering in her eyes, like little fish darting under a frozen lake.

Her mouth opened and shut without producing any words, and after awhile, she just nodded and squeezed my hand, deciding to wait till we were alone. Just the two of us.

And by the time we were home, she had shifted for me. The way she did as my assistant, she processed the information, no matter how shocking, and went straight to problem-solving. In this case, problem-solving meant being calm and just staying near me, gauging how I felt, and not rushing me. Just letting me talk once I found the words.

I knew I was going to talk about this tonight, but I’d underestimated the amount of time it’d take for me to feel ready.

Upon getting home, we’d hung out in the kitchen first. Hydrated, talked about the party. Kissed.

She let my hands wander again, examining every inch of her dress like I’d wanted to, and shaking my head at goddamn good she looked.

When I suggested we change into more comfortable clothing, she gave me a knowing smirk but an innocent, “Sure,” and as I followed her upstairs to my bedroom, I watched her slowly undress, till she was walking ass naked down my hall, so fucking sexy and at the same time, adorably clueless as to where any of my light switches were.

I let it stay dark as I watched her climb onto my bed, stretching out that perfect, moonlit body of hers on my sheets, writhing a little bit and getting me fully hard by the time I climbed on top of her.

I let the weight of my cock fall between her thighs as I kissed her, and in the black of the night, I let myself simply feel what she did to me. The way she put out the fire in my veins with just the sweet taste of her lips, and the way she melted me at her touch with just her delicate hand wrapped around my base, gently guiding me between her legs.

I never thought I could handle fucking this woman slowly. Taking my time. But when I realized slow strokes brought different sounds out of her, I had all the motivation I needed.

Because fuck me, I loved every one of those perfect goddamn sounds.

The little moans that trickled from her lips and stretched on and on with content. Those feathery soft yet sharp breaths of pleasure that sliced through the air. It was that much more torturous to soak it all in as I moved languidly inside her, rolling my hips, savoring every inch of tightness as I pushed into her wet heat. It was like everything was in slow-motion. Magnified.

I couldn’t quite see the face she was making as she whimpered for more, and I couldn’t see the way her breasts were bouncing against my lips before I caught her nipple in my mouth, but I could imagine based on what I knew of her in my mind, and thinking of all of her perfection as I sank my cock balls-deep inside her was enough to get me high. Drunk off every memory I’d quietly kept of her since day one. Every smile, every laugh. Every sound of her voice. When she was pissed at me, reluctant to laugh. When she was happy, triumphant. Delirious with pleasure.

Five years later, I had tens of thousands of memories of her tucked away for safekeeping, and they all filtered through my mind now as I felt her trembling underneath me, desperately grasping at me the way she did when she was about to come.

I loved this feeling. Knowing she needed me. Couldn’t get close enough to me.

“I love you so fucking much, AJ.”

I didn’t know those words were going to come out. They just happened, but I didn’t think twice about them. I said it again and again as she gasped and moaned through her climax, crying out my name and taking me with her over the edge.

My dick jerked and pulsed inside her as I filled her and as I collapsed against her, my mouth buried in her neck, I heard her say it back, exhaling the words.

“I love you.”

Three words I never knew I needed from her.

But now that I’d heard them, I knew I was never going to settle for living without them.

33

ADAM

I’d passed out with her in my arms, but somewhere around 4AM, I’d gotten up.

It wasn’t unusual. Sometimes, this was just the hour that I started my day.

But today, I didn’t have the mind to get to work. I didn’t need to anyway. Knox was signed and at this particular moment, my clients were happy, all of them scattered between Florida and Arizona, set to start their first games of Spring Training this week.

So instead of checking my emails or going on my computer, I went out to the deck, stretching out on the chaise by the pool, and just staring out at the stillness of the water.

I’d only missed AJ for about ten minutes before I heard the sound of the sliding door pushing open, followed shortly after by her footsteps.

I smiled as she simply assumed her rightful place on me, climbing on top of me and resting her head on my chest. She was wearing one of my hoodies and literally nothing else underneath, which easily had my dick stirring again, but as soon as her head hit my chest, she was back asleep, breathing softly and making me wonder what the fuck my life was like before she came into it.

It wasn’t that long ago, but it was a different world.

Hell, just three weeks ago was a different world.

Three weeks ago, I never touched her like this. Never felt her this close. And now that I had, I knew there was no going back.

Thank God for that weekend in Palm Beach.

It was one of the last thoughts that drifted into my mind before I dozed off myself, waking what I guessed was two hours later, because the sky was no longer black but gold streaked with a fiery, almost neon orange.

We didn’t move, and there were no words spoken to announce that we were awake. We just knew. And when she said, “Tell me about her,” I knew who she meant.

My mom.

My actual mom. The one I loved.

“She met my dad when she was nineteen. But she lied and said she was twenty-three because he was twenty-five and single and he was just in LA for the weekend to visit friends. They were a one-time thing and they were from ‘different worlds’ is what my mom said.”

“Different worlds,” she repeated. “How so?”

“He was from a good family,” I said, repeating the version of Dad I was given from my mom. “Educated even beyond college. He was just a guy enjoying his weekend before he went back to his real world, which was living in Jersey. Working finance in Manhattan. Saving up to buy a house so his dog could have a bigger backyard.” I managed a laugh when I pictured my dad at this age. Still pretty much the same guy, but with so many fewer concerns in life that it made my chest kind of twist a little. “He was just a nice stranger she got the chance to meet. And the fact that she got pregnant didn’t change that. That’s at least what she felt.”

“So she never told your dad?”

“Not for awhile. I was her son, her responsibility, so she fought to keep me fed and happy and pretty impressively clueless to the fact that we didn’t have a permanent home, and living the way we did wasn’t actually a fun adventure.”

I heard AJ’s lips part a little as the next realization hit. That I hadn’t always lived that stereotypically charmed life with the big house, the pool. Captain of the basketball team who drove a Range Rover to school.

I had the good life you saw on TV, but it wasn’t the one I was born into.

By the time my mom had met my dad, she’d already been struggling with homelessness. She’d been kicked out of her home as a teen, but she made things work by often crashing with friends, sleeping in her car. While she had one at least. From what I recalled, she couldn’t afford to keep it once I was born.

“She didn’t want to disrupt my dad’s life, and she’d never planned to tell him. But then it became a matter of keeping us alive,” I said. “She was running on fumes every day. Trying to earn and save and show up to all three of her jobs on time while constantly getting sick, having no car, no home. No reliable childcare for her kids.”

AJ stilled and I could practically hear the first thought that popped into her mind. Did I hear right?

When she looked up at me, I could see it was the question flickering in her big, sun-lit eyes. But she simply looked at me, as if she didn’t want to ask.

Swallowing the knot in my throat, I nodded.

“My little brother, Cole,” I said. “He’s three years younger. He had a different dad. One who was just as down and out as my mom, so… while I got rescued into this new life and big house…” I cleared my throat, feeling my vocal chords tighten up as I thought about the things they went through directly after I was shipped off to Jersey. “He stayed with her when she was struggling. Harder than she ever had.”

I didn’t know the exact details, but I knew there was an incident at a homeless shelter. And I knew right after that, there was a boyfriend. Someone who abused my mom enough that there was law enforcement involved. Restraining orders and arrests.

I wanted to know specifics. But to this day, I couldn’t get them.

“Was there a—” AJ cut herself off abruptly, shaking her head.

“What?”

“Nothing. I… I was going to ask if there was an option for your dad to take Cole too, but I realized…”

I nodded since she had the right thought. “Jeannie didn’t even want me. She wasn’t going to let my dad take Cole,” I said, swallowing again at the knot. But it didn’t go down, because suddenly I was remembering the day I left.

Cole was six and I was nine, and I’d pretty much kicked and screamed till the minute my dad touched down at LAX and called my mom to let her know he was on the way to her friend’s house.

We had been staying in the garage, but to meet my dad, we’d sat and waited in the living room, and since I realized it was really happening, I got my shit together fast and told Cole everything Mom told me to tell him. While he sat on the couch, I sat on the floor in front of him and told him this would make things easier for Mom for a little. But I would be back, and in the meantime, he’d get to have all my things. He’d get my toys, my sleeping bag, my portion of French toast at breakfast. I would call him every day too, to tell him about my adventures on the other side of the country, and to hear all about how his day went.

I still remembered his eyelashes when I told him.

The kid had the most ridiculously long, thick eyelashes that I used to make fun of him for, and I still remembered the almost comically big teardrops clinging to them that day when he nodded, trying to be brave as he accepted that he was the new keeper of my most cherished toys—a red car and a plastic ninja.

It was almost a fond memory, because I was still his big brother that day.

I was still his hero who he adored so much he’d forced himself to overcome his tears and shyness to meet my dad. To say hello, introduce himself and even sit in his nice car for a little, where we had our last good conversation. The last one where we felt like brothers.

And the last one before I met Jeannie.

“That explains… a lot,” AJ murmured. She had my hand in both of hers now, squeezing it hard. “You were just a little boy,” she said softly, her neck still craned to look up at me. “It wasn’t even your choice to go, and she pinned all her blame on you.”

“Yeah.”

It had been a hell of a jump.

After leaving my mom and Cole, I’d spent another day in Cali with my dad. He took me to Disneyland, bought some sort of pass where we skipped all the lines and got me my own churros and beignets and all kinds of food I’d never had before, let alone all to myself.

I was basically sugar-blitzed out of my nine-year-old skull when I got to Jersey. Still so mind-blown by my Disney adventures that I hadn’t processed that I really didn’t have Mom or Cole anymore.

But the realization hit fast when I met my new mom.

From day one, it was bad.

“I felt the tension literally the second I stepped into that house. It was like she possessed this chill,” I said, feeling almost cold at the memory. It had been like walking into a horror movie. I still remembered seeing her standing at the kitchen island, her hands wrapped around a mug of tea, silent when she first laid eyes on me. “She was just so… different than my mom. My mom was free-spirited. She smiled a lot and when she laughed, she laughed with her whole face. But this new mom was quiet and so measured and just… stiff. She looked at me like I was evil. She had a disapproving look for everything I did, every move I made around the house. If I touched something, she’d wrinkle her nose and wipe it clean. I scratched my head once and she told my dad to get me checked for lice and anything else I caught from the shelters.”

AJ’s jaw dropped.

“What… a fucking asshole,” she hissed, so floored and completely livid I couldn’t help but laugh a little, which was nice, given the topic.

“Yeah. Meanwhile, I had no idea I’d ever lived in a shelter. Or that that was a bad thing.”

She frowned. “You didn’t know anything in your life was bad until someone told you,” she said, sounding so sad I squeezed her hand back. She was quiet for a little, still frowning to herself as her mind visibly worked. “So she never got better. She just had Holland to make up for how much she resented having to take you in.”

“Yeah. Made sure that was her perfect baby. Her ‘real’ baby.”

“She did not actually say that.”

“When I was younger, yeah, but by the time Holland was older, she stopped. The only thing worse than having to take me in were people knowing her son was a homeless kid. We moved to a new town and a bigger house before Holland was born.”

“Did you keep in touch with your mom and Cole?” she asked.

“My mom, yeah,” I said, feeling her wilt a little against my chest.

“But not Cole.”

I shook my head. “I wanted to. But he wasn’t coming to the phone as much after awhile. After things got harder for them and I wasn’t there for it, he just got distant. And resentful. He knew what my new house looked like. How big it was. He thought I was just living it up over there, and he didn’t get why we couldn’t all live there together. All he wanted to ask when I called was if I was coming back yet. He didn’t get that I had to wait for our mom to get on her feet. To save up some more and get an apartment. He thought I just liked my new life better.”

“But he understood better once he got older, right?” AJ asked.

“I think so. But it didn’t really matter. I wasn’t really relevant to his life anymore. I was just the lucky one who got to get out while he lived a hard life where I know…”

I trailed off, and the time that elapsed after the first half of my sentence felt like forever. I looked out at the colors of the sunset shimmering on the pool. At the changing sky. I felt AJ nestle closer into me and whisper, “You know it’s not your fault.”

I nodded, and in my heart, I knew it wasn’t. But I still didn’t agree.

“I know he saw things and went through things that he shouldn’t have,” I finally finished. “He used to be the little brother I took care of and suddenly he had to grow up really fast by himself. He was in eighth grade when he had to fight off grown men who hurt my mom,” I said, clearing my throat, because my words were choked as I tried to imagine Cole at that age based on the school pictures Mom sent. He didn’t look like someone who could fight off a grown man. But apparently he was. Because the way I did before I left, he looked out for Mom. Made it his job to protect her. “Wherever they were, he slept on floors to let my mom have the couch or the bed. In the meantime, I was sleeping in the pool house, my bedroom, my girlfriend’s house. My friends’ giant-ass houses.”

“But it’s not like you liked your life in Jersey,” AJ argued gently. “Jeannie made your life hell since you were a child. I’d act out too if my house never felt like a home,” she defended me, sounding so hurt I rubbed my hand up and down back. “You were just waiting till your mom got back on her feet.”

I nodded, but I didn’t answer for a little while, just staring out at the deepening warmth of the sky.

“She finally got an apartment when I was sixteen,” I said. I felt her tilt her head up to look at me, but I couldn’t return her gaze. “I was on a nationally ranked basketball team. I had friends and a life. I’d waited for so long, but now Cole hated me, and my coaches were talking about which college I should go to. I think it was just a bad week. Or month. Cameraphones had just gotten really good, so I talked to my mom and my dad and I had got the best ones there were and sent them to Cali. Figured maybe if Cole didn’t want to talk to me directly, he’d be down to record videos here and there. Just send or whatever. Mom was hopeful and said she’d talk to him. So I spent a whole week recording all these videos for Cole. Told him all these stories I’d always wanted to tell him. All the feelings I had as a kid when I left. Pretty much just poured my heart out and figured he might get it now that he was thirteen. But I texted the videos and he never replied, and a few weeks later, Mom asked if I wanted to move into their apartment and share a room with Cole, and I just said no. It was the moment I’d been waiting for since the day I left LA as a kid, and I rejected it.”

It took a while longer to muster up the rest of the story. To tell AJ that my mom’s ex had come back sometime after I rejected the offer. That I could’ve been there to protect her, but wasn’t. Instead, the job fell again to Cole, and it cemented his hatred for me.

Shortly after getting their first apartment, they had to relocate again for safety. Mom moved into a three-bedroom with another single mom from church who had a daughter Cole’s age. Since it was already four of them packed into a small, three-bedroom home, I couldn’t change my mind about going back.

I’d officially missed my window to rejoin my family.

And while it stung like a bitch, it lit a fire under my ass.

It cemented my decision to forego basketball in college. It wasn’t a guaranteed career, and what I needed more than anything was to provide. To have an Ivy League education that would guarantee me a good job, so that when I graduated, I could take care of Mom and Cole. In whatever way they needed.

I was already in law school by the time I found out that all that Little League growing up paid off. Cole was going to LSU for baseball. He ranked high in the country among third basemen, and considering my best friend Iain was already on the path to becoming a sports agent, I decided to take the same one.

“In my head, I was going to save him one day,” I said, and for some reason, the idea still gave me that burst of energy from ten years ago, when I first thought of it. “I was going to be the agent, he was going to be the star. We were going to find our ways back to each other and take care of Mom together, like we used to.”

AJ was looking up at me now, trying to read my expression, and I knew why.

“What’s his last name again?” she asked of Cole.

“Ridnour,” I said, and she went quiet, because she didn’t recognize the name. I knew she was praying to. I could practically feel the surge of hope in her chest as she lay against me, trying to remember every Cole in the league.

The big leagues at least.

“Is he still in the minors?” she asked, her voice small, still hopeful, because the minor leagues at least meant he was still trying.

I nodded.

“He actually did well enough in Triple-A that he got called up a few times. He posted pretty good numbers for this one five-week stretch, but then he got the shoulder injury, and it’s just set him back repeatedly,” I explained, my jaw tight at the thought of all the shitty medical advice Cole had taken in the past several years. All the times he was forced to play despite being far from full health.

I thought about the fact that he was injured again now, and still refusing all forms of my contact, let alone my offer—the one I’d written him in a letter—to simply set him up with the best doctors. He didn’t have to talk to me. Let me come to a game. I just wanted him to have a shot.

But he wanted nothing from me.

“There was a bad stretch where he was going to quit,” I said as I played absently with the drawstring on AJ’s hoody. “He wasn’t making any money. Had to take second, third jobs to keep the dream live. He was back to living that life where he couldn’t find a steady place to live, and he had too much pride to ask for help. But then someone found out about how he was living.”

“Who?”

“A teammate. From his time in the big leagues.”

AJ was quiet for a moment. Then her eyes went wide as she looked up at me. “Knox?”

“Yeah.”

I knew from Mom that Knox came through for Cole. It was only for a five-week period, but they were teammates on that Colorado team, and when Cole was sent down to the minors, he played for their affiliate in North Carolina, where Knox was from.

Since he had a home in Asheville, right where Cole played, he let Cole live there during the season. He sent Cole his weekly per diem, which was more than enough for groceries, and allowed him to drop his other jobs and simply focus on baseball.

Even in the off-season, he let Cole crash and train with him. His house was plenty of space for Cole, him and his girlfriend.

“Knox doesn’t have social media, but his girlfriend does, so admittedly…” I trailed off, laughing to myself at how ridiculous it sounded. “I’ve combed through all her social media to find bits of him, even if he’s just in the background or mentioned in the caption. Her page was private for a long time, so when it was public again, I…”

“Stalked your balls off,” AJ giggled.

“Yeah.”

We were back inside, making coffee by the time she asked what I knew was coming. Whether or not I was still trying.

“To get in contact with him?” I said. When she nodded, I shook my head, and when that made her frown, I could only give a sad smile. “At some point, it just becomes harassment. He wants to live his life. Try to be happy. Besides, he already has a brother figure in Knox. And as much as I wish it were me, I’m just grateful for that.”

“But… didn’t you want to sign Knox to get to Cole or something?” AJ asked. I shook my head.

“Cole’s going to find out soon that Knox signed with me, and it’s not going to change his mind about getting in contact with me. It might actually piss him off, honestly.”

“Then why do it?” AJ cocked her head, our legs mingling as we sat facing each other at the kitchen counter. I shrugged.

“Just to say thank you. Make his life easier. Get him paid like he deserves to be,” I said. “Maybe by some extension, I’m making Cole’s life easier, since at least he lets Knox take care of him.”

There was a little frown between AJ’s eyebrows, and I knew this wasn’t the happy ending she wanted, so with a smile, I took her hand.

“It’s fine, AJ. I’m good. Just because I’m not whole doesn’t mean I’m not complete.”

She blinked up at me and squinted. “How can you be complete without being whole?”

My eyebrows pulled together as I tried to remember my mom’s phrasing of it.

“Some people aren’t meant to be whole,” I said carefully. “But they can be complete, because when you’re complete, you’re saying this is what I have, and it’s still good. You accept the parts of you that are going to stay empty. Nothing’s ever going to fill up that hole. No one’s ever going to be my little brother besides Cole, but that’s fine. Because everything else I have in my life makes me complete.” I watched her process my words with a reluctance that made me laugh. “I have you. And because of you, I have Holland.”

“And Iain.”

I laughed. “And Iain.”

“And your mom?” AJ asked curiously. I nodded.

“Yeah, I have her, too,” I said, and as I smiled at her, a funny little look wiggled onto her lips.

“Am I ever going to meet her?”

I laughed. I was going to tell her soon, but not now. “Don’t worry about that,” I said, just to mess with her.

The pissy look she shot me was well worth it and with a grin, I memorized it, tucking it safely away with all my other favorite memories of her.

34

AJ

“I knew something was up!” Georgia yelled triumphantly, making me hold the phone briefly away from my ear.

Admittedly, I’d completely ignored all her calls since finding the tabs on Adam’s laptop yesterday evening. And since the night had continued to go completely off-course, I’d taken awhile to recover from the roller coaster and finally call her back.

But I was making it up to her now, giving her the full story of what happened between the last time we spoke yesterday to about an hour ago, when Holland and Iain came over.

“Wait, so how did they react to the news?” Georgia asked excitedly.

I snorted. “They made the sound I just made. And then hugged us and said ‘took long enough.’”

“Oh. That’s less exciting than I expected.”

“It’s okay, I’ve had my fill of excitement in the past twenty-four hours. In the past month, really.”

“I’ll say. You got to fuck your hot boss and now he’s in love with you.”

I laughed at her phrasing. “That’s… actually perfectly accurate.”

I still had a sliver of instinct to deny things, but now I realized I didn’t have to. I could say all the crazy things I’d fantasized about in the past month out loud now.

I loved Adam. More than my heart could really take. And miraculously—incredibly—he felt the same way about me.

“So. Am I gonna be the maid of honor?”

“Georgia.”

“What?” she laughed. “It’s not that weird a question. You guys have been together for five years, technically. You’ve lived a life together. Plus, he knows you in ways that other one could never even begin to,” she said, cracking me up, because she was apparently past the point of addressing my ex by name. “So why the heck can’t wedding bells happen soon?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Georgia. Probably because I don’t even want anyone at work knowing yet. I’ve already decided I want to be an agent for at least a year before I come out as his girlfriend.”

“Fair enough. But after that, am I maid of honor or is it Emily?”

“Can’t it be both of you?”

“Yes. But I’m the one that plans the bachelorette. She can do all the other serious planning.”

“Honestly, we both know she’d prefer that,” I snorted just as Holland yelled “where’s AJ” from the deck, and loud enough that Georgia gasped like she was in trouble and rushed to get off the phone.

The next few hours were spent just lounging, eating sushi that we ordered and drinking wine that Iain brought over. It felt particularly indulgent since we were supposed to be in Arizona to watch some clients’ games. But we’d postponed it by a day just to spend more time with Holland and Iain, who were still hilariously nonplussed about Adam and I being together.

“Honestly, the only shock comes from the fact that I thought Adam was too stupid to ever realize it,” Holland said, making me burst out laughing as Adam made an offended sound behind me.

We were lounging on the far side of the pool with Holland and Iain cozied together on the couch across from us, two couples separated by a table littered with empty wine bottles and plates. It was the perfect double date I never knew I wanted.

“Damn. And here I thought this whole announcement was going to be a feel-good moment,” Adam said, making Holland laugh with me.

“What? Don’t get me wrong, I’m freakin’ ecstatic. But Iain got most of that out yesterday when he told me you guys left together. I literally blew out his eardrums. I squealed and shrieked like such a crazy person that I tired myself out and I don’t have the energy to replicate that reaction for you now,” she said, and now Iain was laughing his ass off. “But know that I couldn’t be happier for you guys. And for the record, neither of you had a big reaction when Iain and I came out as a couple.”

“True,” Adam and I said at once, since I’d basically been telling him for months that something was going on with Holland and Iain, and while he staunchly didn’t believe me, he still didn’t give much of a reaction when Holland finally told him. Priority had gone to cursing the fact that he’d lost a bet to me.

“This is definitely my favorite day ever though,” Holland said, her eyes sparkling. “I literally don’t think I could be happier right now.”

“Same,” Adam and I said. But then Holland wrinkled her nose.

“Oh no. Are you guys one of those couples that speaks in unison?” she teased. “Even Iain and I don’t do that.”

“Well, get used to it. We’re going to start wearing matching outfits too,” Adam said. “I already ordered us matching onesies.”

I looked up at him. “You didn’t really, did you?”

He laughed. “No, but I might. And I’m going to make you wear it with me around the house. Just as payback,” he said, referring to the joke about footie pajamas I’d made to Kenzie Engelman what felt like forever ago.

We stayed out there till the sun started to set, and though we laughed the whole way, I couldn’t help feeling pangs of guilt for knowing things that Holland didn’t know yet—namely that Adam was her half-brother. That somehow, her dad had agreed it was best not to tell her.

But in some ways, I got it. It was clear that Brad felt he owed his wife something. He’d thrown a curveball into the life she’d planned for them by bringing Adam into it, and he was constantly trying to make it up to her while just keeping the peace with everyone else.

It broke my heart. It was clear Brad needed to leave Jeannie. It would help him be close to his kids again. But if it hadn’t happened yet, I wasn’t sure that it would. All I could hope was that what Adam said this morning applied to his dad. Hopefully, even if Brad didn’t feel whole, he felt complete. And if he didn’t, maybe someday, that could still happen for him.

“I just realized this was why you cheered for all Cali teams growing up,” I gasped out of nowhere hours later.

Holland and Iain had just left, and we were in the middle of cleaning up. Adam turned on the Lakers game and boom. It all made sense.

He laughed as he carried the plates in beside me. “Yeah. That actually wasn’t an act of rebellion against my family. It was just me being born and raised in Los Angeles. For the first nine years at least.”

My mouth hung wide open, and delight coursed through me as I was hit with several realizations. One, that all those good childhood memories of Adam’s had come from his mother and Cole, and two, that he and I had actually grown up thirty minutes apart.

“I mean I was three by the time you left, but still. We were at one point Cali kids together,” I said so brightly he just snorted and pecked me on the lips.

“Yeah. We were practically neighbors,” he said, and though he was teasing me, I was still thrilled.

“And the French toast! That didn’t start out as a Maxwell family tradition at all. It was all Ridnour.”

“Actually, it was the church we went to,” Adam smiled as I passed him the plates to load the dishwasher. “They had this community breakfast, which I obviously didn’t know at the time was for people in need. I just knew I loved that shit. Both Cole and me. When I moved to Jersey, my mom told my dad if he ever needed to bribe me into behaving, to make me blueberry French toast. It was basically a taste of home.”

I smiled and nodded as Adam spoke, casually loading the dishwasher, completely unaware of the way I was watching him. Staring in awe of him. I couldn’t believe all the pain and burden he’d lived with all these years. I would’ve never imagined it given the way he smiled every day. The way he just went about living and doing his best to be a good brother to Holland and Cole, and a good son to Brad and his mom.

“Will I ever meet her?” I asked again, completely unapologetic, because after all the stories he’d just told me about their beach picnics, the time she got another job just to buy them Dodgers gear for Christmas, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I needed to know more about this woman. “Why do you keep laughing when I ask that?” I demanded in a huff that I honestly wasn’t even faking.

Adam grinned as he closed the dishwasher and looked at me. “You’ve known her for years, AJ.”

I stared at him.

And suddenly I knew.

“Heidi,” I breathed.

There was a twinkle in his eye as he nodded.

“Adam!”

I have no idea why I shoved him. I just felt like I had to. It didn’t move him anyway. All he did was catch my wrists, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss me as he said things that made me feel like my feet were no longer touching the ground.

“I needed you to know her,” he murmured. “I liked knowing you did. It just felt good. And right.”

I wish I didn’t cry, because it only made him laugh again, but I couldn’t help it. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that Adam had to lift me up and carry me to the couch, where he held me as I tried to process the fact that he’d let me all the way into his life so much earlier than I’d ever known.

“Would now be a bad time to tell you the ninja was named Gizzy?” he asked.

“Yes?” I said, wiping away my tears and remembering the prized ninja toy that Adam had given Cole before he left. I imagined that Cole had treasured it. That Heidi had named her café after it because it was the one thing her boys shared even after they were separated.

I had a feeling that hunch was right when I learned later that night, with a sharp twist in my chest, that Cole and Heidi still spoke, but thanks to her relationship with Adam, there was a strain. Apparently, it happened when Cole found out that she hadn’t opened Gizzy’s on a loan, but from money gifted by Adam.

And as much as I knew I would be in Adam’s corner for the rest of my life, I could understand every bit of the hurt. Cole had been rescuing his mom since he was a little boy. He’d probably gone into baseball thinking he’d make it big and set her up for life. But his career didn’t pan out as he thought, and it had to sting to see his brother swoop in after all those years apart and save the day.

“Don’t be sad,” Adam laughed, thumbing a tear from my cheek. “She still flies to see his games every month. They still talk all the time. They just don’t talk about me.”

“That leaves such a big gap in the conversation though,” I said. “She spends every single morning with you.”

“Exactly,” Adam smiled. “We’re in each other’s lives now. We might not be a family anymore, but at least she has both her sons back. That’s all that matters.”

I nodded even though I didn’t feel totally settled on that. Of course, I knew I was being partly irrational. Defensive of Adam. I loved this man so much I just wanted him to have everything. To be happy and have the fullest life he could. But as much as it bugged me, I didn’t let it bother me for long.

Because at least I knew I was here for him now. Maybe his life wasn’t whole.

But I had now till forever to try and get it as close to that as possible.

35

AJ

Though we obviously kept it professional at meetings and games, Adam and I had a few days to act like a couple during our business trip to Arizona.

We took turns driving from ballpark to ballpark, and we took detours here and there, just to extend our time alone. We stopped in little towns, we bought chicken mole tacos from a small Oaxacan restaurant, and we ate leaning against the car, watching the brilliant red sun set across the desert horizon.

It felt like I was collecting sunsets with Adam lately, which I loved because each one came with a new story from the part of his life I didn’t know. His true childhood that he never got to reminisce about with anyone except Heidi.

He talked about failed games of hide and seek with Cole, since Cole could never stand to be anywhere but Adam’s side. He talked about how Heidi had always dreamed of opening a place that served breakfast. He even confessed why he liked Rocky, Heidi’s half-blind, fully elderly chihuahua-pug, so much more than her glorious German Shepherd. As it turned out, the explanation was simple.

“Because Rocky grew up with Cole,” he said, laughing as he watched my face light up with realization—realization that included the fact that I was now partial to Rocky as well.

Sorry, Ruby. Still love you though.

On our last sunset, we tried to figure out when and how he would tell Holland the truth about everything. He’d have to give his dad the heads up, but it was going to have to happen. After a long silence, I said, “I know it’s scary.”

The moment had felt so heavy that I didn’t expect the happy kiss Adam buried in my hair.

“I got you. I can do anything.”

He’d said it almost breezily, so matter-of-factly that I was glad he wasn’t facing me to see me swoon.

After that, we spent an hour trying to figure out if and where our paths could’ve crossed when we were little SoCal kids.

Growing up in Torrance, it wasn’t uncommon for Dad, Mom, Emily and me to make the occasional drive to Los Angeles—mostly to visit relatives, but often to see Lakers games, since my dad was partial to basketball like Adam. But we’d definitely gone to a few Dodgers games growing up, and it was fun imagining little Adam and toddler me cheering for the same home run at some point.

It was mostly silly, but it was also like we needed the explanation for our connection.

It had always been strong, but now it felt bigger than anything else we knew. Like perhaps it was fated. So with his arms wrapped around me, my body leaning back on his chest, we stared out at the burnt orange sky and pictured all the signs we’d missed in the earliest parts of our lives. Clues from the universe that one day, we’d find each other again.

Like I said, it was silly. But it felt so good that it felt like we’d somehow floated back to Los Angeles. I barely remembered the flight home. It just felt like I’d transported from that last Arizona sunset to the dark of his bedroom, and his arms wrapped around me again.

I felt light, just brimming with content the next morning when we headed to work. Adam had to go to a meeting first, so I walked into the office myself.

And upon walking in, I felt a strange energy.

Along with stares. And smiles.

Ummm.

I tried to ignore it as I walked past Carl at reception. I wasn’t getting the bad tinglies, per se, so maybe everyone was just in a good mood?

Okay, but why is everyone grinning at me like this?

It made me nervous, like somehow they knew. Considering the last few days, a part of me thought they really could pick up Adam’s scent on my skin, or maybe just the pure bliss emanating from my soul.

But I had a history of good gut feelings. I trusted my senses, and they were telling me right now that this wasn’t bad energy. It was good.

It was definitely weird though, so as I passed The Pit, I made eye contact with Liza and with the slightest tilt of my head, she followed me into the bathroom.

I was vaguely nervous, but once we were in there alone, I felt a smile burst onto my lips. Mainly because of the smile on hers.

“Okay, so something’s weird,” I said, narrowing my eyes, but unable to stop grinning at her utter giddiness. “Care to tell me what’s going on right now?”

“Ummm.” She stretched the noise out as she bounced once on her heel. “I would really like to,” she said measuredly. “But I don’t want to take that moment away from you, so I’ll just say that we’ve heard… you might get a call into Engelman’s office today.”

I stared.

Then my pulse jumped.

No way.

“What—”

“That’s all I know!” Liza said, and I saw a flash of her excited smile before she turned and disappeared out the bathroom door, leaving me alone to realize that it might actually be happening.

I knew I wasn’t about to be disciplined for anything. I also knew this was the time of year that assistant promotions happened.

For the next few hours, I tried to work normally and avoid celebrating before anything was official, but that was certainly hard when people would come by with work questions only to end our conversation in a grin, a fist bump and a “congrats.”

There was only so long a girl could go before texting Georgia to freak out.

ME: Hi. I’m freaking out.

GEORGIA: Hi. Why??? Did he propose or something?

I laughed. She knew about my last few days with Adam, and the stories definitely had her on a high herself, because she was already asking me what kind of ring I’d want.

ME: No. But I think I’m getting promoted to agent.

GEORGIA: SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

GEORGIA: IS THIS REAL LIFE??!?

GEORGIA: This has been the best three days of my life and it’s not even my life. I’m overwhelmed. I have to go buy out all the champagne from my local store now.

I was cracking up at my desk, and even harder when twelve minutes later, Georgia texted a picture of her cart at the liquor store.

“Holy crap,” I muttered to myself just as I got a call at my desk. I picked it up fast, and my eyes fluttered wide as I heard the hilariously brash, scratchy sound of Engelman’s voice.

“AJ. Get your ass in my office.”

“YOU FUCKING KNEW.”

An hour later, I was in Adam’s office, standing in front of his desk and shaking my head like I was pissed at him.

But we both knew I was so far from that.

“Let’s not act like this was a cakewalk for me, alright? I’ve known since Monday when we signed Knox, and I managed to keep it from you this whole time,” Adam grinned as he leaned back in his chair with his gaze dancing on me, because we both knew we wanted to be touching each other right now. All over each other. But he’d just come back from his meeting, I’d just been awarded my fucking dream job and the attention of the entire office was still trained on me.

I could literally feel the eyes of The Pit watching us down the hall with amusement right now, so it felt like closing his door at this particular moment would be a bad idea. Adam and I were still high from Arizona, there was hot adrenaline coursing through our bodies, and we wanted nothing more than to indulge our needs to touch, taste and lose ourselves in each other.

But with the big spotlight shining on me, all we could do was grin big at each other and react as professionally as possible to this news with the door wide open.

“I’m usually better at reading your bullshit,” I said, hands on my hips as I tsked at myself.

Adam laughed. “What can I say? I still have the advantage in that department.”

“What, bullshitting? I won’t argue that. You can keep that lead, I don’t want it,” I snorted, heading out of his office to confirm the grins of The Pit on us.

“You won’t be saying that when I sign clients out from under you with my bullshitting skills,” Adam called out the hall to me, prompting the chuckles and quick congratulations from the people nearest my desk.

I gave them the obligatory fuckin’ Adam eye roll as I grabbed my phone to text Adam. But he beat me to it.

ADAM: Speaking of bullshit

I suppressed the actual giggle I felt at the back of my throat.

AJ: I know. Are we going to have to get used to putting that act on every day?

ADAM: Probably

AJ: Fine by me as long as we even it out :)

ADAM: What do you suggest?

AJ: Lunch break at your house so you can fuck me over the kitchen counter

ADAM: Done. Though I should point out that we’ve made perfect use of the file room before

AJ: I know. But the file room is for quiet orgasms and that’s not what I want today

ADAM: Goddammit

ADAM: Exactly how hard are you trying to make me right now

I bit my grin back as the giggle made its way out of my lips.

Okay, so this secret dating thing was going to be torture, but at least it was going to be the fun kind. I already had a preview of how our future days at this office were going to look. Our offices were going to be farther apart now, and I was going to have fewer excuses to talk to him all the time, but it was more than doable given we could text.

It actually put a new spin to our relationship in the office.

ADAM: How the fuck could you do this to me right now AJ

I snorted when I got that 11AM text from Adam.

I knew he was on his way to a meeting, so I decided to piss him off by sending him the picture I’d just taken in the bathroom—just a selfie with my shirt unbuttoned and the cups of my bra pulled down.

It was timed to torment him just the right amount before we met up for lunch.

ADAM: I’m going straight from the meeting to my house. I want you fully naked over my counter by the time I walk in

AJ: You’re not the boss of me anymore

I grinned to myself, because I could imagine the way his jaw was clenching in his car right now.

ADAM: How hard are you trying to get me to fuck you?

AJ: As hard as possible

ADAM: You don’t have to worry about that. See you at 1

In case anyone was looking my way, I refrained from chewing the corner of my lip.

But I did wait anxiously for lunch, eyeing the clock more than usual as I sifted through the applications that had come in for my job as Adam’s assistant. The posting had apparently been put up on the company website the day we signed Knox, so there were already loads to go through.

I had finally found a decent one when Kenzie came by my desk, craning her neck to look into Adam’s office.

“He’s out for a meeting,” I said.

“I know.”

I looked up. She was standing right next to my desk now, playing with her hair as she stared at the resume on my screen.

“Do you need something, Kenzie?” I asked, frowning because I could already feel a strange vibe coming off of her. For starters, she never hung out at my desk, but it seemed that for once, she’d come by to talk not to Adam, but me.

I sensed eyes from the office peering our way as she just stood there, leaning over now, reading this resume over my shoulder.

When she finally stood up again, she said, “I’ll be his new assistant.”

“You can always apply if you want,” I said, since it was better than saying, you do not possess the attention span or actual skill set to perform well in this job.

Kenzie’s mouth spread in a placid smile as she slid her eyes to me. “I was at the party,” she said.

I frowned. “What party?”

“The Minx party.”

My heart dropped.

Suddenly, her odd little smile made a lot more sense to me. I could feel my stomach lurching, my pulse picking up as I tried to figure out what to say to fake cluelessness. But she hadn’t actually said anything incriminating yet.

Of course, that all changed within the second.

“You guys are a cute couple.”

My blood rushed in my ears as I felt the spotlight on me brighten, getting bigger, wider by the second, just like Kenzie’s smile.

There was a taunting malice in her voice as she asked, “How long have you guys been together?”

“Kenzie—what are you talking about?” I finally said. “We attend events together all the time. There’s nothing new about this.”

“You don’t have to pretend, AJ. Why else would he threaten to quit if you weren’t promoted instead of Davis?”

I stared.

Everyone did.

Somewhere down by The Pit, someone said “no fucking way.” Maybe Davis, but I couldn’t tell, because along with my heart hammering in my ears, I heard this ringing sound now. Panic.

I felt like I was drowning in it, but I made sure to give nothing but my best poker face as I spoke calmly to Kenzie.

“Kenzie, none of that is true. But I’m not going to dignify this conversation by explaining to you that I earned that promotion. My work here speaks for itself,” I said, returning her challenging stare until she arched an eyebrow, smirked and walked away.

My heart continued to slam as I exchanged “what the fuck” looks with the people around me. They were offended, just as perplexed as me.

At least they were in that particular moment.

But as the minutes ticked by, I felt a trickle in the air. A slow and gradual shift in attitude as people got the time to pass by each other’s desks, talk under their breaths and basically confer with each other.

Is she really sleeping with him?

I didn’t have to hear the question to know that it was the subject of at least a handful of the hushed conversations and private texts that unfolded over the course of the next hour.

I forced myself to work through it.

It was my worst nightmare. Everything I had feared. But it wasn’t true. I had put in the work and the time. I’d watched less deserving people get promoted over me the past few years. I knew I’d earned this job.

But by 12:30, the judging quiet of the office was so suffocating that I got up to leave. I couldn’t be here right now.

And I couldn’t even care if they knew I was going straight to Adam.

36

ADAM

It was midday on a Tuesday, but instead of being at the office, AJ and I were home, the house so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

As far as the office was concerned, we were out at meetings, but the reality was that neither of us could stomach being there.

It had been four days since her promotion, and we’d had all of a few hours to celebrate it before I found myself coming home to find AJ sitting on my couch, looking at me calmly, but with wet eyes that indicated she hadn’t been so calm a few minutes prior.

“Tell me you never threatened to quit,” she said as I held her in my arms.

“Never,” I murmured, frowning deeply as I dried her tears.

I’d meant it too.

But it wasn’t till I confronted Engelman about his daughter the next day that he told me not to blame Kenzie.

“I didn’t know you were dating. But it came from your mouth, Maxwell. You said you’d leave if I didn’t reward her.”

My mind had spun and my heart had raced as I stood in that office, suddenly wracking my brain to recall my exact conversation with him.

It was the day after I’d taken AJ to Gizzy’s. The day after my mom saw us together for the first time, after five years of hearing all about her, and several years of chatting her up when she came in alone.

We signed Knox that day and I realized I loved her.

I’d had a casual conversation with Engelman about acknowledging AJ’s work with the company—about recognizing her talent “sooner rather than later, so you don’t lose both her and me.”

I had in fact said that.

I had meant it as a way of saying that if the company didn’t act fairly in promoting who was worthy, I’d have to rethink my position.

I had not intended my words as a threat or ultimatum, and AJ knew that. She assured me she did. She kissed me in the driveway when I got home that night, my car pulling in a minute behind hers. “I know that wasn’t your intention,” she told me.

But intention didn’t matter.

As much as we tried to hang our days on the fact that she had done the work to earn this promotion—that I hadn’t forced Engelman to award it—it was impossible to go on business as usual. Because the office was turning on her.

And for once, my having her back only made it look worse.

NO ONE SAID ANYTHING OUTRIGHT, but AJ and I both knew the weight she once carried at the office.

She was the resident badass among the assistants within her first eight months of working for me. She dealt with me better than any previous hire, made me easier for everyone at Engelman to work with. She did her job, helped others and earned her respect.

But twelve days after her promotion, that respect was back to zero.

She powered through during the day, as did I. We didn’t acknowledge the dating rumors and spoke to each other as we normally would at the office.

Still, eyes followed us. Followed her. She overheard remarks. And on Monday, I overheard one too.

It came from Josh.

He was in one of the agent’s offices down the hall. I couldn’t see which one, but he was doing his usual thing and hanging around and talking shit.

But this time, it was louder than usual.

For everyone to hear.

“Hey, I’m all about using what you’ve got. I’m just mad I wasn’t the one who got to boss her around.”

I looked up to see the heads in The Pit staring into the office where Josh was.

Then turning to stare down the hall at her.

“Adam.”

AJ was pushing me back into my office before I knew what I was doing, and though I could feel her eyes burning on me, her nails practically digging into my chest, I glared down the hall, waiting to make eye contact with Josh.

And when he finally strolled out of the office and looked our way, his eyebrows waggled. “Whoa. Showtime,” he grinned as AJ hissed at me.

“Look at me, Adam.”

I held my fiery stare on Josh for two more seconds, hoping he understood my wordless promise to beat his ass into the ground. Then I tore my eyes off him and looked at her, expecting to see fury.

But instead, I saw her eyes pleading with me. And when I blinked once more, I realized I’d crossed the line. Forced her to put her hands on my chest at the office and stop me from kicking Josh’s ass on her behalf.

It had all happened in a matter of seconds, and on paper, I could very well be just a friend defending a friend. Even if this was months ago, I would’ve done the same.

But that wasn’t how it looked. And it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks, right? I remembered AJ’s words the night she told me about what happened to her in college. But you know how it is in this town. This industry. It shouldn’t matter.

But it does.

WE HAD BEEN quiet in the past few weeks at home. When we spoke, we spoke in quiet voices. Even when we managed to laugh or joke around, it was as if we didn’t have the energy to get past a certain volume.

Probably because we both knew what was going on.

There was an unspoken hunch going on between us, and it became inevitable after the Josh MacMillan incident at the office.

I was pissed at him. Engelman. Everyone. She was too.

And I knew she was a little pissed at me, though she said it was irrational.

“I know everything you did was with the best intentions,” she said, squeezing my hand as we lay in bed at night.

We still kissed. Still had sex. Still fell asleep in each other’s arms.

But on a random Friday night, I felt something different. The way we’d felt a gradual shift in the air at Engelman over the course of the week following her promotion, I felt a shift in AJ. It was just that it happened all in one day, and I was unsettled by the fact that she denied anything was different.

I knew she was lying to me. I felt it as we walked around each other in the house, as we made dinner and as I followed her into the shower that night.

The fog of the hot shower only thickened the tension as she glanced over her shoulder, saying nothing as she saw me peel my shirt over my head, push my sweats down and get in after her. She faced forward again, staying silent even as my arm circled her waist, bending her over just enough for me to enter her.

There were no words spoken. It was only panting, angry breaths that grew hotter and harsher as I fucked her like I wasn’t going to get to again.

At night, she still slept in my arms, but I couldn’t ignore the feeling anymore. Something was off, and if that weren’t obvious on its own, it was in the fact that we’d both been lying still for an hour, but neither one of us was asleep. I knew she was staring out my window into the dark of the sky, and suddenly, I couldn’t take the quiet anymore.

“Talk to me,” I murmured.

She stayed completely still in my arms. But she talked.

“I reached out to Ace Sports in New York,” she said.

I didn’t try swallowing the knot in my throat.

I didn’t try to ask if they’d replied either. If she had interviewed. If they had offered and if she’d accepted. I already knew.

I almost asked why she didn’t go with Thorn Sports. With Iain.

But I didn’t, because I knew.

She didn’t want it to look like her boyfriend’s best friend took her in. She knew she’d have earned a job there on merit alone--that Iain would have hired her in a heartbeat based purely on skill.

But that wouldn’t be how it looked.

Stay, I urged her in my head. Stay or let me come.

I wanted to tell her that I’d go work at Thorn while she worked at Ace. But I knew she didn’t suggest this because it was obvious what would happen if I moved to New York. It was already Iain’s town. If I went to work alongside him at Thorn, we would be kings in Manhattan. The spotlight would shine constantly on us. AJ would work in my shadow. And she already said it herself.

She needed to distinguish her career from mine.

I knew she’d worked hard for it. Busted her ass for it before she ever even met me. I knew she wanted to give herself a chance to stand on her own, and as much as I wanted to ask her not to—to stand beside me instead—I couldn’t do that to her.

I loved her entirely too much for that.

So with that knot in my throat, I kissed her shoulder, and I pretended I didn’t ask what I just did, or hear what she just said. I closed my eyes and as I felt her nestle back against my chest, I pretended that this night was like any other. I treasured it somewhere deep in my heart.

But I didn’t tuck the memory safely away in my head.

This one I wanted to let go of.

37

AJ

Two Months Later

The trip to Rhode Island wasn’t short—a three-hour drive from my apartment in Brooklyn Heights to the stadium in Pawtucket.

But I didn’t mind it at all.

For one, I wasn’t driving, which was something I was still getting used to but definitely enjoying at the moment. Also, the company was paying for the ride and beyond that, I’d never ridden along the East Coast before.

Back when I worked at Engelman, all our East Coast trips involved flying everywhere, so it was kind of fun to just gaze out the window, passing through Connecticut on the way up and driving through all the quaint beach towns with their tall grasses, white fences and cute little houses on stilts. The ocean was a moodier blue on the East Coast too, and that was something I needed lately.

The first two weeks without Adam had been hard. Impossible, even.

I knew we were close. Even before we were together, I knew we had a friendship so close it was hard to define. But I hadn’t even realized the true level of our bond till I was without him.

At least a dozen times a day, I itched to tell him something. Sometimes the most trivial, silly, inconsequential things. I saw the New York J-Mac on the train one morning and couldn’t believe I couldn’t tell Adam. The guy was literally a fratty, thirty-something-year-old Josh MacMillan type carrying a basketball, wearing a backwards cap and a hoody that had The J-Mac emblazoned on the back, which was technically worse actually, because even Josh didn’t use “the” before “J-Mac.”

Stupid things like that made me miss him, as did legit things, like craving advice or conversation. Or a laugh.

He was my person for so many more things than I had ever even realized.

Just meeting the new characters at Ace Sports felt like something I should naturally be discussing with Adam—even more so than Georgia or Emily.

But then I remembered that he was the reason for my new office. My new coworkers. My new state.

It was hard—feeling some days like I was angry at him and other days like I’d completely overreacted. Like I’d punished him for something he barely did. He’d said the wrong thing, yes, but it was only a passing sentence. A fleeting moment. And he’d had the best of intentions.

But his intentions didn’t change the way I was perceived at Engelman, and as much as I’d wanted to power through it—through the judgment, the assumptions, the talking—I couldn’t.

If I stayed, I’d want to be with Adam, but if I was his girlfriend, I’d be seen only as that. AJ, Adam’s girlfriend. The one who got promoted because he threatened to quit if she wasn’t.

The short of it was that I wanted to give myself a shot. To prove myself and have my accomplishments stand alone. I’d worked long and hard enough, and I owed it to myself, so whether or not Adam was my soul mate or my “twin flame,” according to Georgia, it didn’t matter.

I had to give myself an honest chance at my dream. It was as simple as that.

“Don’t second guess yourself. You’ll hit your stride eventually,” Emily told me on the days that were hard, when I’d go back and forth between wondering if I could keep in contact with Adam because I missed him so much, and reminding myself that my heart could never handle that. “Just keep your chin up. There’s going to be a turning point for you, AJ. And after that, everything’s going to make sense.”

Like so many other pieces of her advice, I’d held all that close to my heart. I let myself be sad if I had to. But I was patient. And things did feel better when I started getting to those firsts-as-an-agent milestones, in particular, when I signed my first client, whose first minor league start I was now on my way to seeing.

He was an eighth round draft pick out of LSU and a kid I’d actually been scouting for ages, before I even arrived at Ace, so I was beyond excited to have front row seats to witness his first ever pitch as a pro. It wasn’t quite work—it was celebratory. The very start of my working relationship with my first ever client.

I’d desperately needed something to be excited about, and it was like a true breath of spring to feel a real smile finally spread on my face when the car pulled up to the stadium.

Alright. This is it, I told myself as I got out. This is going to be your turning point.

I was convinced it was going to my first perfect, seamless day on the East Coast.

But like an idiot, I hadn’t even checked who my client was facing up against.

THE OPPOSING TEAM today was the Carolina Redwolves. Visiting from Asheville, North Carolina.

Cole’s team.

I realized only as I got into the stadium to see them leaning against the dugout in their uniforms—red lettering emblazoned across a grey jersey and white pants with a single red pinstripe down the side.

Cole was leaning right at the end, by the stairs.

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t Googled him before. I’d actually done it the day after Adam told me about him. Stats and scouting reports had come up along with one official portrait of him that was used across every website.

He’d looked young in the picture, and not much like Adam.

But even from a distance, in person, the resemblance was striking. So much so that it made my heart sharply twist in my chest, because I’d done well all day not missing Adam.

But as I watched his brother lean against a railing with his tanned arm dangling loosely over the side, I felt a knot rise in my throat. One that only grew as the game started, because as proud as I was watching my client—watching him hurl fastball after fastball with his velocity inching toward the mid-nineties—half the energy and attention in my body was tuned into Cole in the dugout.

More than half, really.

Even during the stretches of the inning where I forced myself to pay full attention to the game, when I clapped and cheered like everyone around me, my pulse was still hammering, refusing to let me even fake normal with myself for a second.

One second, I breathed almost steadily.

The next, it felt like I had no air in my lungs.

Especially when the bottom half of the inning came and I watched Cole jog to take his position at third base. My palms were sweaty as I wrung my hands in my lap, feeling as completely enthralled as I did guilty.

Because I knew how much Adam missed him.

How long it’d been since he’d seen him in person. I knew he wished he could just sit at one of his games unnoticed and just watch him play. But he couldn’t.

Yet here I was. Just stumbling into the opportunity he’d dreamt about every day for the past many years.

I can’t believe that’s really him.

Versions of that sentence ricocheted through my mind as I stole glances at Cole between every pitch.

He had black hair and olive skin, which made him look strikingly different from Adam, yet so damned similar at the same time. The shape of his jaw was just like his brother’s. Same with his sculpted cheekbones. His long, straight nose. From where I sat, I couldn’t tell his eye color, but I could see that he looked about the same height as Adam, with a build that was slightly leaner, and a gait that was… actually so different it made me want to smile.

Maybe I was projecting, but it just felt like the gait of a little brother. It was boyish. Almost surly. He stood tall—he didn’t slouch by any means—but he had a way of leaning to the side, tipping his chin up and looking bored as hell as he surveyed the infield. Like he was waiting for someone to impress him. To give him something to do.

Unfortunately for the Wolves, that happened in the bottom of the fourth when their pitcher gave up a triple that put a man on third right where Cole was.

He’d had his stoic game face on as he waited to make the out, but once it was ruled a triple, I watched in awe as he nodded a hello to the runner, who said something or another to make Cole laugh.

And… there it is.

That smile.

It was Adam’s. The same boyish grin with the dimple that transformed Cole’s face completely. Suddenly, I could imagine the little boy who worshipped his brother. The kid who was still the baby of the family before Adam left.

I stared so hard I was briefly convinced that from third base, he looked in my direction and saw how hard I was staring.

But that would be impossible. He’s more than an infield away and he’s focused on the game, I told myself.

So I let myself keep staring and in the fifth inning, when he hit a single and made it to first, I found myself staring at him from a distance so short I for some reason held my breath. He can’t hear you, idiot, I thought.

Just as he looked directly at me.

Fuck.

I shifted my eyes immediately to the batter, telling myself it was a coincidence. That my seat was front row right behind first. Of course we’d make eye contact at some point.

For God’s sake, get a hit or strike out, I urged the batter, just so we could get Cole off first.

Because now he was occasionally eyeing me while chatting up with the first baseman.

Except he’s really not, I told myself even the second time. The third too. But then his teammate struck out, the inning ended and he jogged off first and headed toward the dugout.

But not before fully turning his head and looking at me with a completely unreadable face.

Uhhhh.

“You know number twenty-four?” the older man next to me asked. My eyes shifted.

“No,” I said.

“Well, he just looked right at ya.”

“Oh?”

“Dead in the eye.”

Okay, yeah. Thanks, guy.

I spent the rest of the game trying to not look at Cole at all, but that was actually pretty hard because he kept frickin’ getting to first. Another single a few innings later. Then a walk in the eighth.

I avoided looking anywhere but the batter after his single, but then my old man friend nudged me. “Twenty four’s lookin’ at ya.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, you ain’t lookin’. I am.”

Cool.

Well this is officially weird. I was at the game of my ex-boyfriend-boss’s estranged brother, having a weird stand-off with said brother whom I’d never actually met, and someone’s grandpa had elected to give me the play-by-play of his every look in my direction. He was actually having a grand ol’ time, giving that wheezy, old man laugh over my every look of visible discomfort.

Thankfully, the old man left before the final out, volunteering his explanation to me on his way out. “Gotta beat the crowd. Good luck with twenty-four,” he said, clapping my shoulder before he walked off.

I said goodbye to him and admittedly heaved a huge sigh of relief once he was gone, because it was easier to finish watching the game alone. Without a witness, I could go back to pretending Cole didn’t notice me staring, and wasn’t looking back as a way to basically tell me he could sense something fishy about me.

See? You’re good. It’s all good, I told myself once the game was over. The Wolves had won 5-2 and my client hadn’t gotten the win, but that was okay, because everyone was starting to leave. The players were giving high fives on the field and I was on my feet, getting ready to go.

But I had one foot on the steps when I heard a whispery hush fall over the chatty women across the aisle from me. And when I looked at them, I saw them whispering furiously to each other while gawking at the field.

Ah… shit.

I turned around, both surprised and not when I saw Cole standing there at the edge of the field, those blue eyes locked unapologetically on me. His face was stoic, but I was sure I didn’t imagine the amusement in his eye as he got an up-close view of my not-fully-disguised awkwardness.

“Hi,” he finally said.

I noted that his voice didn’t sound like Adam’s. It was similarly low, but not as smooth.

“Hi,” I said. My eyes shifted awkwardly as I turned fully around, because I was unsure exactly what Cole was doing here, and I didn’t want to presume that he wanted to talk to me, especially with how thoroughly blank and disinterested his expression was right now.

But he was here. And he wasn’t moving.

So…

I headed over to the railing, glad that the stands were emptying despite the handsome third baseman standing right there. Maybe it was the fact that he was from the other team. Or the fact that he was chewing his gum and eyeing anyone trying to rubberneck with casual looks of disgust.

Okay... I can see how he and Knox would get along, I thought with amusement.

Even the whispering girls left after awhile—or at least they gave what Cole deemed enough space to start talking.

“You were mad-dogging me the whole game, so figured I’d come say hi,” he said, so completely deadpan that I thought he was serious for a second. But then came that glimmer in his eye that I knew well.

“I was not mad-dogging you,” I snorted.

“You were staring into the dugout before the game even started.”

Okay. Didn’t realize he saw that.

When my mouth opened and closed a few times without a sentence happening, he smirked.

“I know you’re Adam’s assistant.”

I didn’t try to contain my surprise. “How… did you know that?”

He snapped his gum then looked at some goings-on down the field before returning his attention to me. “I’ve Googled him,” he said.

I lifted my eyebrows. Well, well, well. Look who actually does give a shit. Even if it’s the tiniest one.

I must’ve looked too visibly pleased, because Cole hit me with a look that was a cross between vaguely annoyed and amused.

“Adam send you here?” he asked, prompting that twisting in my chest again. Please not now, I asked my heart politely as I shook my head no.

“I was here to watch my client pitch. I’m an agent at Ace now. I left Engelman in March.”

Cole didn’t react. “Lover’s quarrel?”

I frowned. What? “No. I just left for another agency. There was nothing—”

Going on between me and Adam.

I was going to finish that sentence, but it seemed pointless. Cole didn’t know or care about Adam’s life. At least that was what I thought till he made a sound that I was pretty sure was a snort.

“Yeah, I still talk to my mom,” he said.

It took me a second to understand what he meant by that.

Okay…

Was he saying… he knew about me and Adam? Being together? Had Heidi told him about us? It felt like a lot of presumption and I didn’t want to ask, but Cole clearly wasn’t the type to say more than he cared to, so I just went for it.

“She talked to you about Adam?” I asked.

His sharp features were unmoving, unreadable as he answered. “Sometimes.”

My pulse picked up.

Okay, relax, I told myself, trying not to get excited, because there was something depressing about getting excited over this. It felt like an impossible push and pull. I’d made this decision to start my career as an agent in New York, not LA. At this point, I wasn’t going to leave my job at Ace to return to Engelman, so it was pointless to stir up all these emotions I had on Adam’s behalf.

That was what I told myself.

Of course, it was virtually impossible not to care, especially as I looked directly at this reflection of Adam—this hardened, grown-up version of the adorable little boy Adam had described in such detail during that trip in Arizona. How before he’d been forced to grow up fast, Cole had been a slightly mischievous but mostly sensitive little boy. He got nervous when his mom spoke to strangers, and ran to hide behind Adam whenever he was afraid or unsure.

I wished Cole could know all of this.

How Adam still cared. Still hung on so tight to his memory.

“You know, he thinks about you all the time.”

The words had been out for a few seconds before I realized they’d come from my own mouth.

Meddler, I scolded myself. But I’d already said what I’d said, and I couldn’t take it back, so I decided to own it, an unabashed look on my face as I watched his eyebrows move a little. But he didn’t say anything.

So I did.

“He’s never going to stop being your brother. He just wants to look out for you,” I said, trying not to let the utterly unfazed look on Cole’s face discourage me. “He wasn’t just off living the life. He never stopped thinking about you.”

Cole’s blue eyes studied me now. Before they were just looking at me, but now they were searching.

“If he’s such a good guy, why are you here instead of LA?”

My throat contracted for a second. “I had a better opportunity here,” I said. “Doesn’t change a word of what I said about Adam. You’ve been on his mind since the day he left. Everything he does, he does for you and your mom.”

I thought I saw a sneer curl Cole’s lips, so I braced myself for impact. Cutting words of some kind. But I didn’t get that.

“I know,” he said, his voice sounding suddenly different.

Slightly thawed.

Or did I imagine that? It didn’t matter. I pounced.

“You know he sits with Rocky every morning at breakfast,” I said, referring to the chihuahua-pug Cole grew up with.

He snorted.

“Yeah, I never liked that little freakshow.”

“Wow. I don’t even know you that well, but that was definitely a lie,” I said as Cole cracked the absolute faintest of reluctant smiles. “I’ve seen that dog. He might look like an alien, but he’s adorable.”

The rest of Cole’s smile spread on his lips, but he looked over at home plate till it was gone. “He fully blind yet?” he asked, eyes back on me.

“No. But almost. You should see him before he can’t, you know… see you.”

Cole’s eyebrows lifted as he chewed his gum. “Poetic,” he said wryly.

I controlled the urge to roll my eyes. “I wasn’t trying to be, but thanks.”

We exchanged a few more lines about the dogs. About Gizzy’s. Then we parted ways, but just as I headed up the stairs, he said, “Hey.”

I turned again, and when I cocked my head, he gave a upward nod. “You were with him for what, five years?”

I took a second to realize we were talking about Adam again. “Yeah,” I answered.

He nodded. “That’s almost as long as I knew him,” he said. And for some reason the thought of that stunned me quiet for a little.

Cole broke the silence.

“You miss him more than I do though.”

I managed a laugh. “It’s that obvious?”

“From the way you’re going to bat for him? Yeah.”

Now it was my turn to just nod for a little. “So… was there an end to this thought? Or was that it?”

A smirk glinted in his blue eyes for a second but then he looked serious.

“Just saying. I know I haven’t seen him in awhile, but if there’s one thing I know about Adam, it’s that when he loves someone, he never forgets them,” Cole said, holding his gaze on me. “Even after they’ve forgotten about him.”

My heart ripped right in half as I let the words sink in. Everything inside me was still unraveling as I watched Cole turn around, but as he headed off, I said, “Hey!”

He turned around again, still walking backward as he lifted an eyebrow that said what?

“You got an agent?” I called out.

He laughed. “Yeah,” he said, cracking his gum as he swiped his thumb across his nose. He took another few backward steps before saying, “But he’s shit, so I could probably use a new one.”

I broke into a grin.

“Good to know,” I said, but he didn’t hear. He was already jogging down the field.

38

AJ

Three days after the game in Pawtucket, I got to work to find a package waiting for me on my desk.

From Cole.

In no time, I was sitting down, scissor in hand as I eagerly sliced through the tape to open the little cardboard box. It wasn’t that heavy and I genuinely couldn’t imagine what was inside.

But when I saw, I laughed.

Mainly because I hadn’t seen this kind of phone in ages. Since probably middle school. It was probably the best of its kind at the time but now it looked chunky, its screen too small.

It took me a few seconds to get past my initial amusement to realize exactly why Cole was sending it to me though, but when I realized, I gasped sharply enough to startle someone passing my office.

“Sorry!” I called after them, though they were already gone and I really wasn’t that sorry. I was too busy dealing with a suddenly thumping heartbeat as I noticed the raggedly torn piece of folded paper left in the box. My hands snatched it fast, like it might poof and disappear if I didn’t, and when I opened it, I squinted, finding myself looking at messy handwriting I could barely make out.

Do whatever you want with this.

Cole

I stared.

At the note then the phone. And when I realized the phone was charged, I quickly peeked into the camera roll, finding scores of videos recorded from the month of June.

Sixteen years ago.

I wasn’t sure if it was a breach of privacy but Cole’s note did say to do whatever I wanted so I played the first video I clicked, a chill erupting over my skin as I heard Cole’s voice sounding younger—much younger—as he gave a tour of a school. His school.

I laughed as he said “this is my locker” before opening the locker and cursing in surprise as a deluge of binders and papers and empty Gatorade bottles spilled out. “Yeah, so… still as messy as ever,” he laughed, the camera shaking as he tried to pick everything up.

My heart skipped several beats as I realized that thirteen-year-old Cole hadn’t actually ignored Adam’s attempts to reach out. Why he’d never sent the videos, I didn’t know. But I was pretty sure his note was giving me tacit permission to do exactly that on his behalf—sixteen years later.

I was so thrilled I reached for my phone to text Adam only to remember as I was going into my Recents that he wasn’t there.

“Dammit, AJ,” I hissed at myself before just sitting still at my desk for awhile. Potentially a full twenty minutes. I honestly had no idea how long it was. I’d lost track of time as I got lost in my thoughts, which were only a mix of happy and sad because I was happy for Adam, and I wanted to be happy beside him.

But just because I couldn’t be didn’t mean I couldn’t take joy in this moment, because I didn’t know what this phone meant for sure, but I knew it was definitely something. A gesture.

Or a baby step.

The next few minutes were spent wondering if I should send the phone to Adam’s house or the office. Given our currently non-existent relationship, I figured it would be less invasive and potentially hurtful if I sent it to the office instead of his house. But then I wrinkled my nose wondering who his assistant was these days and if that person guarded his door well enough to keep say, Kenzie, from going in and potentially opening the package.

Even you know she probably wouldn’t do that, I told myself.

But since I was paranoid, I decided the plan was to send the package to Liza to hand deliver to Adam. For whatever reason, it gave me the most peace of mind so before I could waffle again, I picked up the phone and sent Liza a text asking if she could deliver something to Adam’s office for me.

I expected her to text back immediately with something along the lines of an enthusiastic “of course” or “sure” but instead, I watched her type for what felt like seven whole minutes before she finally sent a text back.

LIZA: Hey girl! I can’t tell you how much I miss you. And Adam. He doesn’t work here anymore. I feel weird telling you this because I would’ve guessed you knew since he’s also on the East Coast now. He switched agencies.

My heart stopped.

I processed the shock of him leaving the job he loved at Engelman only to tackle the shock of knowing he had to be in New York.

In the same damned city as me.

I couldn’t imagine he was anywhere else.

The only other agency he’d be caught dead switching to was another top-tier heavy-hitter, and the best one on the East Coast was Thorn Sports.

Seriously?

I tried to grapple with all my warring emotions.

I felt a natural relief steep in my bones just from knowing he was nearby. But at the same time, I felt incredibly hurt. And insulted. He knew I had come here to get space. To distinguish my career from his.

And all I wanted was to be a medium-sized fish in this city, but if Adam and Iain were here working together, there was no way I could avoid hearing about them constantly. They were the exact kind of best friend duo the media salivated over, and with their client list together, there would be no doing my job without having to compare to them somehow.

My heart was still pounding when I texted back Liza.

ME: That’s actually news to me. Do you know how long he’s been in New York?

LIZA: Girl

LIZA: He went to GL Sports of all places

What the—?

I stared. I knew the agency. It was successful but small. Located in Connecticut and a fraction of Engelman’s size. Maybe half the size of Ace.

Adam. There?

I couldn’t suppress my shock even through text.

ME: What the hell??

LIZA: I know. We were all surprised. We knew he wasn’t happy here after how things went down with you but we are all pretty shocked to hear he went from Beverly Hills to Stamford. Can’t wrap my mind around it.

LIZA: But you know him so maybe you can.

I actually could.

My heart was pounding at my desk, because I knew what this was.

It was Adam’s love for me the exact way Cole had described it.

He had never intended to let me go.

When he loved someone, he never forgot about them. He didn’t give up on them and he clearly wasn’t giving up on me.

But what he was doing was sacrificing for me.

He could’ve easily gone to Thorn. Had the time of his life working alongside Iain. He’d have a huge office. He’d have Manhattan. It would be a career even bigger and bolder than what he had in LA.

But he knew I needed space to carve out my own career.

And he wasn’t going to impede on my wishes.

I didn’t even know what I texted back to Liza. It was some quick thank you for the information that probably wasn’t all that coherent because my fingers were already itching to text somebody else.

Someone who I’d had to limit my contact with as well lately, just for the sake of my pain.

But we’d still texted here and there, and as was the case with her brother, the love was still there.

ME: Hey. Any chance you can give me your brother’s new address?

39

ADAM

I’d had less than a month of falling asleep with AJ in my arms.

But apparently that was enough to spoil my tastes.

It was honestly the biggest thing I missed about my house in LA. The feeling of waking up in that bed and feeling her warmth. Her skin against mine.

In that house, I’d had AJ all to myself. I’d had her on my couch, in my kitchen, by the pool. In my bed.

In this apartment, I had… not a whole lot yet.

Six weeks into living here and it wasn’t quite a home yet. The bed certainly didn’t feel like much. But I didn’t really care. It was a nice, spacious enough apartment, but it was a rental. I had plans to work at this agency for at least the next year, but beyond that, I didn’t know what was happening.

All I knew was that I wasn’t giving up on her.

“Alright… alright,” I groaned, stretching in bed when I processed that I’d woken up to the sound of “Barbie Girl” playing on my phone.

Fuckin’ Holland.

“I’m going to change this goddamned ringtone today, and you’re not going to guilt me about it,” I said when I picked up.

“Do whatever you want!” she huffed. “I’m just calling to ask if I left my umbrella outside your door yesterday.”

Umbrella? She had an umbrella with her yesterday?

Since I was only an hour drive from Manhattan, Holland and Iain had visited yesterday. They took a tour of my new office, and my new colleagues further wondered what the hell I was doing working at GL Sports in Stamford, Connecticut when I was best friends with Iain Thorn. The fact that I was coming from an agency like Engelman in Los Angeles only confused everyone more. But they were all good, nice-enough people, and both Holland and Iain understood why I’d chosen to be here.

My career was important, and I’d obviously chosen this path for a reason. But I had a good number of clients and ninety-five percent of them were going to stay with me no matter where I went. Beyond that, I already made enough money to take care of all the people I loved if they so needed, so I didn’t think twice about coming here.

Neither did my mom.

Gizzy’s was still alive and well in Santa Monica, but she’d gotten someone to replace her in the kitchen. As soon as I mentioned the idea of moving to the East Coast, she jumped right on board. “If both my sons are there, why would I stay here?” she’d asked with a laugh during our last breakfast at my corner table with the dogs at our feet.

Since moving here, we still saw each other the same amount. And she got to see Cole even more.

“Yeah, I don’t know if your umbrella is outside my door, Holland,” I said, rubbing my face as I opened my eyes.

“Well, go check.”

“No. I just woke up and I’m not dressed.”

“Who cares? You’re at home.”

“Yeah. But you met my neighbor,” I said, making Holland snort.

“Oh yeah.”

I had two other neighbors on the top floor of this building. A married couple and a single woman. Both women seemed to open the door as soon as they heard me open mine. Neither was subtle about their interest, which more than amused my sister yesterday.

“Well, then put some pants on, Adam. I don’t know what to tell you,” she said.

“Alright, fine,” I grumbled, rolling out of bed and pulling on a pair of sweats as I made my way out of the bedroom, crossing the living room to get to the front door. When I opened it, I looked down and saw nothing. “No umbrella,” I said just as the elevator dinged on my floor.

Great, I thought, expecting one or both of my sexually aggressive neighbors.

But when the elevator opened, I just stood there for a second. And then I heard Holland laugh.

“Bye,” she said before hanging up and leaving me staring at the vision from my every fucking dream this month. Last month, too. However long it’d been since that night in Palm Beach.

“Hi,” AJ said, a crooked little smile wiggling onto her lips as she stepped out of the elevator looking like an angel in a white sundress so perfect on her body I forgot what the fuck blinking was. I was honestly afraid that if I blinked, she’d either disappear or I’d wake up from my dream.

“Hey,” I finally said, unable to tear my eyes off her, even as I heard the sound of one of my neighbors opening her door. AJ briefly turned to look, but I didn’t, and whichever neighbor it was, she got an eyeful of thick morning wood twitching under my sweats as I devoured AJ with my eyes.

There, I thought, figuring that would get the message across that I didn’t have any interest. A Cali girl in New York still owned every inch of my mind and that wasn’t going to change.

Ever.

“You gonna let me come in?” AJ teased as I brought my roving stare back up from her lips to those big, brown eyes I missed so much.

I nodded.

“As long as you remember what tends to happen when we close the door behind us.”

She smirked. “I know. And trust me, I’m prepared.”

I grinned as I pulled her inside and once the door was closed, I pressed her up against it, hearing her purse fall to the floor as she wrapped her arms around my neck and let me kiss her like I’d been dreaming of doing every day for the past two months apart.

She moaned as my hands squeezed all over her body, but when she tore away, she was laughing. “Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m doing here?”

I blinked. “Honestly, didn’t occur to me,” I said so earnestly it made her giggle.

But once I got myself together, and once she gave herself a look around my apartment, I went ahead and asked. “What changed your mind?”

Standing in front of my floor-to-ceiling window, looking that much more like an angel with the blue sky behind her, she looked at me. “You mean about seeing each other?”

“Yes.”

She wet her lips as I came close. “I talked to someone who made me realize I could never actually leave you.”

I laughed. “Holland?”

She shook her head. “The other one.”

I paused. Then squinted. “Cole?”

She nodded, making my heart beat a little faster, and with a soft smile, she told me all about the game in Pawtucket. Her conversation with Cole.

What he said about me.

I was so stunned I didn’t know what to say. I tried to dial back my excitement, my hope that this could mean something. That somehow, AJ had done it again. Bridged the gap between me and my sibling.

Take it easy, asshole. Don’t get carried away, I told myself.

But then she took something out of her purse and as soon as she handed it to me, I knew what it was. Hell, I’d picked it out sixteen years ago, before Dad and I mailed it over to Cole. I took one look all the videos in the camera roll before I set the box back down and cupped AJ’s face in my hands.

She broke into that big, beautiful smile of hers just before I pressed a kiss to her lips, and this time, I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. Two months wasn’t a long time but without her, it was an eternity, and now that I had her in my arms again, I wasn’t letting go.

“I thought I could try,” AJ breathed hastily between kisses as I hoisted her up in my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist. “I thought I could turn it off, but I couldn’t. I don’t know how to stop thinking about you, Adam. Or loving you or wanting you. It’s not something I can do.”

“Me neither,” I murmured, my lips still locked on hers as I carried her into the bedroom and laid her on top of my bed.

There we go.

Maybe this bed’s not so bad after all.

In fact, with our clothes strewn on the floor, the whole place felt like home already.

“God, you don’t know how much I missed this,” AJ whispered once our bodies were flush against each other again. Heart against heart. Skin against skin.

“I think I have an idea,” I laughed as she wrapped her legs around me. “Promise me we won’t even try it again.” I savored the sound of her little moan as I sank myself inside her. “I told you once and I meant it. I can’t live without you, AJ. Not even for a fucking second,” I murmured, rocking into her, already losing myself inside her. “Promise me you’re mine forever.”

Her lips curved against mine as she answered.

“I promise.”

EPILOGUE

AJ

Eighteen Months Later

I blinked awake to find myself staring out a vaguely familiar window. It looked like the one in our bedroom, but it wasn’t the right view.

Because… this is not your apartment, I realized with a weak snort.

It was the building I lived in, but it wasn’t our unit. It was Holland and Iain’s.

We’d all crashed here after a night of partying that was honestly enough partying to last me several lifetimes. And I didn’t even drink that much. I was just exhausted from the sheer madness of the celebration.

After missing the mark last year, the New York Empires had just won their third World Series in four seasons, and though we were always happy when our clients did well, it couldn’t have been a more personal win for Adam and me.

We had watched from the very front row behind home plate last night—me and Adam, Holland and Iain, and Iain’s friend Evie Maddox, plus her baby Kai. We were cheering on the Empires, but in particular, Iain’s client Drew Maddox, and our clients Sean Knox and Cole Ridnour.

Our family at Thorn Sports.

Drew had won Game 1 and 6, and Knox had pitched a gem of a Game 7. The bad news was that the 1-0 lead he left the game with in the eighth inning was promptly lost when his relief gave up three quick runs.

The good news, of course, was that the next inning, it was Cole who came up to bat with the bases loaded and two outs.

The crowd had roared for their new fan favorite—the underdog who was a no-name minor-leaguer included in last season’s trade that brought Sean Knox to the Empires. No one had expected much of him, and admittedly, he’d struggled his first several weeks.

But then the two-game hitting streak became three, then four, then five. By the end of his first season with the Empires, he’d earned himself a starting spot batting ninth.

By this season, however, he’d found himself batting fifth, which was what brought him to plate in the absolute nick of time.

“God,” I laughed to myself, testing out my scratchy voice as I rolled onto my back in the guest bed.

I had screamed my throat and lungs raw when Cole swung on the first pitch he got last night, lining a go-ahead, bases-clearing triple to cap off the eighth inning comeback that would win the Empires the game.

And thus the World Series.

“Guys,” I whispered when I sat up, trying to hold in my laughter as I realized that despite being in their own home and having a glorious master bedroom, Iain and Holland had passed out on the little loveseat in the corner, having stayed up so late talking to Adam and me in the guest room, like it was one giant sleepover.

Which it pretty much was.

“Okay, never mind,” I whispered, mostly to entertain myself as I rolled out of bed, on a mission to find my boyfriend.

His phone wasn’t on the nightstand and his shoes weren’t anywhere in sight, so he was clearly up and about. I just had to figure out where.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I walked down the hall and past the guest bedroom, where Knox was passed out with his girlfriend, with the TV still on and playing reruns of last night’s World Series coverage on ESPN.

Adam had turned every TV in the house to the coverage once we got in last night, and six hours later, it continued to play softly on all the screens. It was on in the empty kitchen as I got downstairs, craning my neck to look out at the living room, where Cole was passed out alone, which meant Brad was up and off somewhere too, since last I’d checked, he’d passed out there.

That’s probably where Adam is, I thought just as my bleary eyes squinted at Cole’s head of thick, black hair. “Interesting,” I snorted when I realized that someone had gelled his hair into a fauxhawk. Probably Holland.

It was about a year ago in this very apartment that Adam finally told Holland the truth. It was the four of us sitting in the living room, and there was obviously no shortage of shock or tears, but more than anything, there was love, understanding and relief like no other. It was the night of answers that Holland had wanted her whole life, and it set off a chain of events that included Brad’s divorce from Jeannie and Holland’s introduction to Heidi and Cole.

“Wait, so he’s my half-brother too? Oh, he’s not. Wait, is he? How does this work?” a still-tearful Holland had asked, making us all crack up that emotional night she found out about Cole. We tried to tell her she did not technically have another brother, but she wouldn’t listen. “No, he is, he’s my brother. I have two brothers and no one can tell me otherwise, thanks,” she had declared.

And as it turned out, she was right.

They weren’t related by blood, but something about Holland and Cole together made Cole and Adam seem that much more like brothers, since the two younger ones liked to occasionally team up against Adam just to piss him off.

Of course, I knew he was never actually pissed off. He was elated. The joy I’d seen in him in the past year or so was so clear every day we woke up, and I knew it was because he had all of us now. Me, Holland, Iain. Brad, Heidi, Cole.

It had taken time. It hadn’t been a completely seamless transition back into brotherhood. But over time, things started falling into place.

“I don’t know if I’ve processed it yet…”

I heard the sound of Cole’s voice despite the fact that he was still passed out in front of me.

“I struggled a long time. Spent most of my career in the minors…”

I turned around, looking at the TV playing in the kitchen.

It was Cole’s post-game press conference. I’d seen bits and pieces of it last night, but not this particular part.

Standing alone in the kitchen, I watched as he wore a World Series Champion cap low over his eyes, which shimmered with pure joy as he grinned through every question.

“Honestly, besides my teammates, it’s been three people. My mom, Heidi, my brother Adam, and my agent, AJ. Truthfully, I was ready to hang it up a few seasons ago. It was just bad break after bad break. But those three… they’re the reason I’m here. That’s my family. I couldn’t have done it without them.”

I stared, feeling my lower lip wobble.

“Seriously?” I said, turning to Cole, as if he weren’t completely passed out. “Little shit,” I whispered, breaking into a huge grin because the jerk hadn’t even told me he’d said all that. Then again, of course he hadn’t. In so many ways, he was still the same Cole I’d met in Pawtucket a year-and-a-half ago. A slightly difficult asshole who was generally somewhere between stoic and surly. But since getting him to the Empires and setting him up with the right training and medical team, he’d started opening up to me. And then slowly, to Adam.

And since then, things just kept getting better.

Since the start of this season, we’d pretty much all been inseparable. It was like all these worlds had collided to make this big, beautiful, crazy, happy family. It just fell together beautifully.

And every day, Adam told me, “It wouldn’t have happened without you.”

“Where are you?” I whispered as I typed out the same words and texted them to Adam.

He replied quickly.

ADAM: Went for a walk. Meet me outside

Finding my shoes, I quickly slipped outside, going down the elevator and smiling once I got to the lobby, because I could see Adam’s eyes already on me as he waited for me on the sidewalk.

God, I’m a lucky woman, I thought as I looked him up and down. He’d clearly gone back to our apartment to shower and change, because he, Cole and Knox had been absolute maniacs last night. They’d drank like crazy, wrestled, hugged it out and basically passed out looking like they’d take a few days to get up.

But Adam looked sharper than ever this morning in his white button-down and jeans, his eyes more alive and vibrant than I’d ever seen them as he watched me cross the sidewalk to give him a good morning kiss.

“How do you wake up looking like this?” he asked me, making me look down at the simple white sundress I had on. It was actually the same one I’d worn a year-and-a-half ago, when I went to surprise him at his very temporary apartment in Stamford.

“It helps that I didn’t drink much last night,” I said, smiling as I felt our hands find each other and interlock as we started walking naturally toward the water down the block.

“Did you know your brother gave us a shoutout during his post-game presser last night?” I asked.

“Yeah. I got about two hundred texts about it,” Adam laughed, reminding me of the fact that most of the people in his life didn’t realize he had a brother until recently.

“I wasn’t expecting that. I was so surprised when I saw it just now,” I said, compelling Adam to give me a funny look. “What?” I asked.

He shook his head. “You still don’t realize, do you?”

I bit my lip, already feeling a rush of warmth in my cheeks. “What?” I said as we slowed to a stop in front of the river. A smile spread my lips as Adam pulled me close, his blue eyes lit so beautifully under the glow of the morning sun.

“You’re responsible for all the happiness in my life,” he said, pushing my hair behind my ear, his gaze moving all over my face before it returned with a glint of a smile to my eyes. “You make everything come together and feel right in a way I could’ve never dreamed of, and every day I wake up, I’m so fucking grateful to be holding you. Every morning, I feel it stronger than the last. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, AJ. I just know that I want to spend the rest of my life protecting you and making you proud. Making you as happy as you make me every second I’m with you.”

He’d already stolen my breath several times over, but then he took a step back, savoring the look of shock I already had on my face before he reached into his back pocket and produced a little velvet box.

“Oh my God,” I breathed when he opened it and damn near blinded me with the beautiful, absolutely breathtaking diamond inside.

“Marry me, AJ.”

All the air left my lungs and I felt tears burst in my eyes as I looked down at the ring then up at this beautiful man who looked at me like I was his whole world.

“Of course I’ll marry you,” I said before the tears fell, streaming down my cheeks as he broke into that grin that made my knees go weak. I thanked God once he slid the ring on my finger, because as much as I wanted to admire its beauty, I needed to throw my arms around his neck.

“I love you so much,” I said, my voice cracking through the tears and the kisses.

“I love you more than I’ll ever be able to say in words,” Adam whispered as he murmured to me between kisses. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, AJ. From now till forever.”

I repeated his last few words in a whisper as I nodded, my body brimming with all the love and gratitude in the world, because we had always been complete.

But now we were whole.

The End

THE IRRESISTIBLE SERIES

Thank you so much for reading Reckless! If you enjoyed Adam and AJ’s story, be sure to check out the rest of the Irresistible Series on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited!

SWEET SPOT - Lukas and Lia

BAD BOSS - Julian and Sara

DIRTY DEEDS - Emmett and Aly

HOTHEAD - Drew and Evie

NOW OR NEVER - Iain and Holland

Turn the page for an excerpt from Now or Never!

NOW OR NEVER

He’s ten years older. My brother's best friend.

And for the next two weeks, he gets to have me in all the ways he’s ever wanted.

HOLLAND

The last time I saw him, he still called me kiddo.

But fast-forward five years and more than a few things have changed.

He’s still Iain Thorn. He’s still my brother’s best friend and the painfully sexy man I clearly never stopped wanting. But me?

Apparently, I’ve grown up in more ways than he can resist.

IAIN

I’m going to hell for looking at her like this.

She’s too young for me. Too sweet and naive.

She has no idea what I would do to her.

But since the day she walked back in my life in that tight little dress, I’ve felt myself caving. I said I’d never in my life get involved with Holland Maxwell.

But since I’m already going to hell, I might as well make it worth it.

CHAPTER ONE

IAIN

Fuck me if that’s her.

A single upward glance and just like that my night was screwed.

In an instant, my pulse doubled, and I could feel my jaw ticking tighter and tighter under my palm as I ran my hand over my face, my eyes devouring her body in ways I told myself had strictly to do with the shock.

Because what the hell was she doing here?

And for Christ’s sake, what the hell was she wearing?

My shoulders tensed under my suit and my grip tightened around the lowball of Scotch I suddenly wanted to pound like a shot, because now that I’d looked up—now that I’d seen her—I had a face to match to all the filthy, vulgar shit my clients had spent the past two minutes groaning about, and it wasn’t just any face.

It was one I’d known since she was only thirteen years old.

“Jesus fuck. How do we trade our waitress for that Playboy bunny-lookin’ thing?”

My jaw clenched at Watt’s description.

It wasn’t far off. In fact, it was surprisingly fucking accurate, but still—I was failing to reconcile what I was seeing with what I was remembering, because the last time I saw her she was a sweet, innocent little thing. This shy little girl wearing a powder blue backpack and braided pigtails—who I made it my job to protect because her own brother had no instinct whatsoever.

But now… for Christ’s sake, now there was no trace of that shy little girl as she flitted from table to table in a tight little dress, holding a tray of drinks up high and arching her back so taut I wanted to clench my teeth out of my skull.

“Goddamn, when she bends over in that thing…” Ty growled into his fist.

“Do it again, baby. Come on,” Watt willed her, licking his grinning lips and forcing me to exhaust every muscle in my body to keep myself from knocking him the fuck out right there. “See the new waitress?” he turned to ask me, shaking his head and sucking in a sharp breath between his teeth—his way of emphasizing just how badly he wanted to fuck her.

It made me picture my forearm digging into his neck as I pinned him to the wall and detailed exactly why he’d never lay a finger on her.

But despite the vivid image, I managed a nod and a smirk to remain outwardly calm, casual. Sitting forward, I adjusted my onyx cufflinks, throwing in a “very nice” that sounded so convincingly disinterested that Watt rolled his eyes and gave a pfft before turning his hungry stare back to her—and that tiny little skirt that had her legs so close to naked I had to look away.

Fucking hell.

I white-knuckled my drink, silently wracking my brain for a plan while reminding myself that no agent had ever put his own clients on the injured list, so I shouldn’t aim to be the first. Shane Watt was a top reliever in the league and Ty Damon was one of the best sluggers in baseball. They were two of the best players on the New York Empires, two of the highest-earning contracts on my all-star roster of clients, and I really couldn’t afford to kill them right now.

So I opted instead to shut their fucking mouths.

“Enough,” I cut in sharply, interrupting their debate about whether or not she was wearing a goddamned push-up bra.

I could feel my eyes on fire, and my blood fucking boiling, but by the time my clients turned to face me, all they saw was an easy smirk on my lips that made them grin sheepishly, because they knew this look—the one I wore right before I set their asses straight.

“Gentlemen, we’re here tonight to talk about the Under Armour deal, but if you want to waste my time drooling over some waitress, then you’re welcome to find a different agent to negotiate your contract for a third of the price,” I said, leaning back in my seat. “But in that case, Watt, you’d have to tell your wife that the new beach house is a no-go. Is that something you’re interested in?”

“No! No, no, no,” Watt laughed in a panic before socking Ty in he arm. “Come on, asshole. Pay attention.”

“What! Me?”

And just like that, we were back on topic.

But as I returned to discussing business with my clients—even with my eyes fixed directly on them—I had my attention sharply trained on her.

Little Holland Maxwell.

My best friend’s kid sister who was clearly all grown up, and about to make my night a living hell.

CHAPTER TWO

HOLLAND

“Did you see him yet?”

Mia grinned as I practically slammed my tray onto service bar, rushing to skewer cherries for all the Manhattans she was stirring for my latest table. I processed her question at a three-second delay because I was desperately trying to remember what my giant party of businessmen had just asked me for.

“Nuts!” I snapped my fingers when I finally remembered. Off the weird look Mia shot me, I giggled.  “I’m sorry—did I see who?” I asked breathlessly.

“Mr. Ass.”

“Mr. Ass?”

“Mr. Angry Sex In A Suit.”

I squinted at her. “Shouldn’t that be Mr. Asis? Or A…sias?”

“Don’t ask me, your fellow waitstaff made it up,” Mia laughed, stirring the amber mixture of whiskey and vermouth with a long metal spoon. “I just go with it because he is one absurdly fine piece of ass.”

“I thought you weren’t into the suit-wearing type. In fact, I distinctly remember you saying that men aren’t attractive unless they’re sweating through a dirty T-shirt while chopping firewood.”

“And I stand by that, but Mr. Ass is an exception because he is criminally hot, and he always looks so stern and serious and… mean.” Mia’s stirring slowed as she bit her lip and squinted wistfully into the distance. “I’m into it.”

I burst out laughing. “Well, I’m not really into mean guys, so he’s all yours.”

“Actually, he’s nobody’s,” Mia corrected, snapping right out of her dream state. “He’s been coming here for years now, and none of the girls have been able to get him to look at them for more than the second it takes to order his drink,” she said, smirking as Lana marched over. “Not even Tits McGee over here.”

Lana huffed and stuck her nose in the air.

“Funny you mention that, since it’s all changing tonight,” she said, pushing me aside to grab some napkins off the bar. “He’s different tonight and I’m pouncing, so get ready to pay up, bitches.”

As soon as she came, she went, and when I cocked an eyebrow at Mia, she gave a snort.

“There’s an ongoing bet about which of the girls is gonna finally get his attention,” she explained, pouring my drinks into their cute little glasses. “My money’s on Jasmine the hostess. Mostly because she isn’t a raging bitch.”

“Well, in that case I’m Team Jasmine too,” I laughed before taking off with my drinks to my section.

I was pretty much Team Whoever Mia Likes since she was the only reason I landed this killer side gig a couple weeks back. Aside from being my roommate she was the head bartender here, and basically my tall, gorgeous, potty-mouthed guardian angel since I arrived in New York. Five weeks in and I was still thanking my lucky stars that I found her with that extremely sketchy-looking apartment listing she put up on Craigslist. It had just been a two-sentence description with no pictures at all, which gave it “big time serial killer vibes,” according to my friend AJ, but I still went for it.

Because for me, it was a risk worth taking to execute The Great Escape—which was what my brother Adam nicknamed my plan to finally move away from home.

I’d started hatching it senior year of high school, since the day I pled—literally on my knees—for Mom to let me dorm at college. To let me have just the tiniest taste of independence. She was the town’s most notorious helicopter mom and at seventeen, she still dictated what I wore out of the house, what I watched on TV, how I decorated my room.

For the record, it was all pinks and pastels.

Because all my life, I served as nothing but her precious little doll. Her do-over child who was raised to be perfectly quiet, polite, obedient—basically everything Adam wasn’t. He was unmanageably wild, I was exceptionally docile, and that was just how it was in our family.

Which was why I wound up commuting daily from our home in Jersey to my classes at Parsons School of Design. Three hours back and forth every day with a 9PM curfew—just to ensure that I wasn’t out drinking or partying like every other kid my age. And if I ever caught anything later than the 8PM bus home from Port Authority, Mom would grill me for hours, search my purse, smell my breath, and if it was an extra special night, change the WiFi password before reminding me in a fit of tears about the torture she went through raising Adam, and how she refused to let “another Adam” happen again.

So… yeah.

I love my mom—I swear I do—but I was more than ready to move by the time I graduated college, which meant I was more than happy to chance it on Mia’s super-sketchy listing.

And thank God I did.

Because now, after four years of secretly busting my ass by working two, sometimes three jobs during school to save up and move out, I was finally, finally my own woman. An adult who made my own decisions, paid my own bills and had my own rush hour commute to a job at a company I’d wanted to work for since I was fourteen years old. I was—at long last—living the life I’d been dreaming up and plotting out in a little notebook since I was that painfully sheltered, over-protected child constantly holed up in her bedroom.

And it all started with Mia Zamora choosing me to live with her at her bomb-ass apartment in the East Village—which was why I was still, on pretty much a daily basis, thanking God Almighty for her.

“Hey, babe?” she called to get my attention, whistling me back to service bar once I finished dropping off the Manhattans at my table twelve. “These are the IPAs for your table ten but before you drop them, will you drop this check real quick at Mr. Ass’s table? Lana was supposed to like twenty minutes ago, but she’s too busy trying to seduce him right now.”

“Got it,” I nodded dutifully, stacking my tray with the beers before grabbing Mr. Ass’s check and narrowing playful eyes at Mia. “Is he really that hot?”

“Girl.” She shot me a very serious look. “My thong melted off my ass the first time I looked at him, but if you don’t believe me, you’re about to see for yourself,” she said, making me snort as she reached over service bar to fluff my hair and yank my neckline down a couple inches. “Just try not to have heat stroke and die, okay? ‘Cause I can’t afford to pay rent on my own.”

“Oh, thanks, but I think I’ll survive,” I laughed as I made my way to Lana’s section, a smirk already curling on my lips.

I had trouble believing anyone was as hot as Mia described Mr. Ass, but considering how much drama and fighting I’d witnessed among the staff in just my first few weeks here, I was excited to see the one thing in the world they could all agree on—this alleged panty-scorcher of a mystery babe.

It was probably about time, anyway, that I start letting myself look at men again. I didn’t ever during college because it was just a bunch of pointless torture. I’d had some cute guys hit on me before, but there was no sense in talking for long because once it came to being officially asked for my number, I had to explain that I didn’t actually have time to meet, because not only did I still live at home with my parents, I had a bus to catch and a very early curfew to make.

Pretty much all it took was one crush-worthy guy laughing in my face and saying “yikes” for me to just shut up about my curfew and stop talking to boys altogether.

Besides, I had my fellow freakshow in Brendan.

He was a sweet, soft-spoken family friend whose mom was best friends with mine. Since he grew up similarly smothered, he commuted home with me every day after his classes at NYU, and we wound up dating junior and senior year because, well, we were each other’s only options.

We fumbled through our first kisses together, clumsily lost our virginities to one another, and while I held onto hope that it would start to feel good at some point—like that hot, breathless, passionate sex I saw in movies—we never came anywhere close to finding our rhythm. Partly because doing it in his classmate’s dorm room during the twenty-minute window that we could afford to meet up wasn’t the most romantic thing in the world.

But mostly because he never lasted more than two minutes.

And I’d never been genuinely attracted to him in the first place, so I tried to break it off senior year, but then he cried very loudly on the bus and reminded me that this would upset our moms, which he was absolutely right about, so I stayed with him till exactly five weeks ago—when I pulled off the The Great Escape.

And now you’re free, I exhaled with a minty fresh wave of gratitude as my heeled feet weaved through the candlelit tables in Lana’s section. Free to talk to all the boys you want, go on all the dates you want… free to have all the real, non-dorm-room sex you want with hot guys like Mr. Ass.

I smirked to myself.

Assuming he’s really that hot.

I had to suppress my amusement as I closed in on his booth, because our resident flirt, Lana, was being even sultrier than usual while standing in front of the table—one hand holding her tray up high and the other placed on her very dramatically cocked hip.

Come on, lady, way to block my whole view, I snorted inwardly as I came up behind her, though just as the thought crossed my mind she lowered her tray.

And bam.

The world’s greenest eyes locked on mine, and I nearly dropped all my beer because holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

Now or Never

Available Now on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited!

CONTACT STELLA

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Also Available By Stella Rhys

IN TOO DEEP

TOO FAR GONE (IN TOO DEEP #2)

HAVOC

DAMAGE (HAVOC #2)

DARE ME

WRONG

EX GAMES

SWEET SPOT (IRRESISTIBLE BOOK 1)

BAD BOSS (IRRESISTIBLE BOOK 2)

DIRTY DEEDS (IRRESISTIBLE BOOK 3)

HOTHEAD (IRRESISTIBLE BOOK 4)

NOW OR NEVER (IRRESISTIBLE BOOK 5)

Table of Contents

Copyright

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Epilogue

The Irresistible Series

NOW OR NEVER

CONTACT STELLA