Between the Cracks

Helena Hunting

Between the Cracks is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are all products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locals, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright (c) 2013 Helena Hunting

All rights reserved

Published by Helena Hunting

Cover art design by Shannon Lumetta

Except as permitted under the US Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Chris

Inked Armor Teaser

About Helena Hunting

Other books by Helena Hunting

Connect with Helena Hunting

Acknowledgements

Johnny B, Anne and Alex and Gill; thank you for wielding your red pens. You make everything prettier.

Nina, you’re amazing and I’m so fortunate to have you on my team. Thank you for getting me through all the hard parts. Filet love forever.

Shalu, you rock the graphics world, thank you for sharing your talent with me and making this perfectly wonderful cover.

Micki and Brooks, you've been awesome! I love working with you.

Readers, thank you for sharing in my excitement and for being such amazing cheerleaders.

Blogger friends, I’m so fortunate to have been welcomed into the writing community with such warmth. I’m honored to know you.

Chris

A vibration below the waist woke me up. I cracked a lid and blinked against the dim light from the TV. A Shamwow infomercial flickered on the screen, the volume low. I was half-lying, half-sitting, sprawled over Sarah’s couch. Sarah was draped over me. Her forehead rested against the side of my neck, and all that long, pale blonde hair fanned out across my chest.

My neck had a crick and my left arm had no feeling. The position was hella uncomfortable, but the view was stellar. Sarah’s hand was curled in a fist under her chin, lips parted slightly. Her breathing was slow and even; she looked peaceful.

As the haze of sleep lifted, the memory of the events that led to my current discomfort returned. Tenley had taken off with her asshole brother-in-law or whatever the hell he was; Hayden had lost his shit, and when he’d pulled himself together, taken off after her.

The vibration, and its accompanying buzzing sound stopped, thankfully; it was annoying. I closed my eyes and relaxed back into the couch. Or tried to. Now that I was awake, it was hard to ignore the pain in my neck or the lack of feeling in the arm pinned under Sarah. A minute later the buzzing resumed. It finally registered that my phone was in my pocket.

I dug around for it, trying not to jostle Sarah and wake her up. She’d been pretty damn upset when Tenley pulled a runner, and it had taken her a long time to calm down. She’d fallen asleep eventually, and apparently so had I; otherwise I wouldn’t still be here at whatever-o’clock in the morning.

My phone stopped ringing before I got it out of my pocket, but I checked the screen anyway. It was three-thirty and I’d missed a bunch of calls from Hayden. I dialed him back.

“Thank fuck. I thought I was going to have to call Jamie.”

“What’s up? You okay?”

“I’ve got a problem.” He sounded like someone had run his vocal chords through a grater.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen to Tee?”

“No. I don’t know. I mean I can’t get through to her phone. It keeps going to voicemail, so I have no idea.”

“You want me and Sarah to try her?” I couldn’t tell him Sarah had called until she fell asleep and got the same result. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to give it another shot.

“I don’t think it’s going to make a difference. She’s probably not answering because she doesn’t want to. That’s not my only problem, though. I got caught speeding. The cop suspended my license for twenty-four hours. My car’s been impounded.”

“Ah, shit, H. How fast were you going?”

“Pretty fucking fast. This night’s all kinds of screwed. I won’t be able to get my car back until Tuesday morning.”

Technically, it was Monday morning now. Hayden, stuck in the middle of wherever on his own, in the state he was in, would be bad news. “Where you at? I’ll come get you.”

“Don’t do that. I just need you to reschedule my appointments on Tuesday—”

“Fuck that, dude. Tell me where you are. I’ll pick you up. Then we can go get Tenley and bring her home.”

“You don’t even have a car.”

“Tee’s is still parked behind Serendipity. If the keys aren’t in her apartment I’ll hotwire it. If that doesn’t work, I’ll borrow Sarah’s beater.”

There was some rustling around on the other end of the line and a heavy sigh from Hayden. “I’m at a truck stop just south of the Wisconsin Dells on the 94. It’s three hours away if you don’t drive like an asshole.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

I ended the call before he could argue. Sarah sighed and shifted, freeing the arm pinned under her. The rush of blood sent angry prickles shooting down my arm. I rested it on the back of the couch, flexing my fingers as the feeling returned. I turned my head, pressing my lips against her hair. Like a sap, I inhaled the clean, fresh scent of her shampoo. She used some brand that smelled faintly of mint and something else. Whatever it was, I liked it.

When most of the feeling returned to my hand, I slid it under her hair, resting my palm between her shoulder blades. She mumbled in her sleep, but that was it.

“Hey, baby,” I murmured, rubbing circles on her back.

I felt bad for waking her up when she’d only been asleep for an hour at the most, but I didn’t want to leave without telling her what was going on. She burrowed her face into my chest and moaned unhappily.

A few seconds later she lifted her head. Her eyes were red and puffy. There were lines on her face from my shirt and a damp spot on my chest where she’d been drooling on me. But I didn’t give a shit.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“It’s after three in the morning.”

She rubbed her eyes and pushed up off my chest, sitting back on her knees. “I’m sorry. I must have fallen asleep . . .”

“Don’t worry about it, so did I. I didn’t want to wake you, but Hayden called.”

She sat up, suddenly more alert. “Did he get Tenley? Is she all right?”

“There’s a minor setback.”

“What? Is he okay? Where is he? Did that asshole Trey do something?”

“It’s nothing like that. He’s just having some car trouble. I’m gonna pick him up and then we’ll get Tenley.”

“Oh. So he’s talked to Tenley?”

“Not yet, but it’s the middle of the night. I’m sure he’ll get a hold of her soon.” True or not, I didn’t want to upset Sarah more than she already was. From the look on her face, though, I doubted she believed it either.

I pushed up off the couch, grimacing at the stiffness in my back and neck. I wondered how differently the night would have ended if this business with Hayden and Tee hadn’t gone down.

Sarah stood up, her palm settling against my chest. “I could come with you.”

I cupped her cheek in my palm. “I don’t want you to miss school and you have to work tonight, right?”

“I only have one class today and I don’t work until late.” She traced the logo on my shirt.

“I won’t be back until sometime on Tuesday.”

Her eyes lifted. “You think it’s going to take that long?”

“Yeah. H got a speeding ticket and his car’s been impounded. Besides that, it’s a long drive. Even if we just go get Tee and come right back, it’ll still take a whole day.” And that was best case.

“I’m really worried about her. I’m worried about Hayden, too, but Tenley . . . you didn’t see her . . . she just looked so hollow.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. Sarah dropped her head, wiping them away.

Putting a finger under her chin, I coaxed her eyes up to mine. “We’ll bring her back.”

I bent to kiss her; for as tall as she was, I still had a good head on her. Not to mention a hundred pounds. Sarah’s hands moved over my shoulders, her palms coming to rest on the back of my neck. Her lips parted and I felt the soft press of her tongue. I didn’t resist, aware it wasn’t going farther than this. I was careful not to pull her in too tight, so she wouldn’t feel my growing hard-on. Instead, I savored the taste of her mouth and the feel of her fingers sliding up the back of my neck, into my hair. I wanted to delay leaving, especially knowing how bad the next several hours were going to suck. Staying here with Sarah and making out was a more attractive option. Eventually I pulled back. “I have to go.”

“I know.” Her arms stayed around my neck and she kissed the edge of my jaw. “You’re not taking your bike, are you? It’s too cold.”

“I was planning to take Tee’s car if she left her keys behind.” I didn’t mention hotwiring it if she hadn’t.

“Take mine.”

“What about school and work?”

“If I can’t find Tenley’s keys, I can take transit to school, and I’ll take a cab to work or call one of the girls for a ride in.”

Sarah didn’t have a license to drive my bike and I didn’t like leaving her without wheels. Still it would be easier if I didn’t have to hunt for Tee’s keys. “You sure?”

“Of course. But you’ll call me when you get there?”

“Definitely.”

Five minutes later, we were standing at the bottom of the landing, me with my jacket on and her keys in my hand, and Sarah with a threadbare blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

“I’ll call once I pick up H. Try and get some more sleep.”

I went to leave, but she grabbed the sleeve of my jacket. When I turned back to her, she threw her arms around my neck and pulled my head down.

“What’s—”

As soon as I opened my mouth, her tongue pushed past my lips. She melded her body to mine. We’d been out a few times now and I hadn’t tried to get her naked because I didn’t want to make it about that; but man, it was hard. And I was hard. There was no way she couldn’t feel it with the way every long, lean line and curve of her was pressed up against me. Her nails dug into my skin. When she shivered, I broke the kiss.

“Maybe we could pick up where we left off when I get back.”

Her fingers fluttered to her lips. “That’d be good.”

“I’ll call you later.” I considered going in for one more, but it would’ve turned into a full-on make-out session, given how Sarah was looking at me.

I started down the stairs.

“Chris?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a good person. Hayden’s lucky to have you for a friend.”

“Wait until we bring Tee back before you go saying things like that.”

I jogged over to her car. It wasn’t locked. But I didn’t bother to ask questions–I needed to hit the road.

Sarah’s Tercel was a certified piece of shit. My apartment might be a dump, but her car was way worse. I couldn’t believe it still ran. It took me more than three hours to get to Hayden because the car shuddered every time I tried to go over 55 MPH. When I arrived at the truck stop in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, the sun made an appearance on the horizon, casting a pink glow over everything. It didn’t make the drive any more appealing.

Hayden was sitting at a booth, nursing what looked to be a mug of black sludge. He barely acknowledged me when I slid into the corner where he’d set up camp. His hair was totally fucked. It looked like he’d had his hand in it for the better part of the night. There were dark circles under his eyes and they were bloodshot. For Hayden, he was a complete mess.

“You look like shit.” No point in sugar coating it. Hayden wouldn’t appreciate it anyway.

“I know.”

“You haven’t talked to Tee yet?”

“I’ve called her every half hour, but it’s dumped me into voicemail every time. Maybe her phone’s off.” Hayden lined the condiments along the edge of the table.

“Her battery could have died,” I said.

Hayden chewed on his viper bites as he mulled over the possibility. “Yeah. That might be it." After a long pause he asked, "You want something to eat before we take off?”

“Nah, man, I’m good. I gotta take a leak, then we'll head out?”

He nodded. It looked to be the only answer I’d get, so I left him at the table and hit the bathroom. He’d already settled up with the tired-looking waitress when I came back.

The trip to Arden Hills was quiet. Hayden didn’t say much, other than to thank me for picking him up and comment on the shitty state of the car.

Arden Hills was nothing like Chicago. Twenty minutes outside of Minneapolis, it had a small town feel. That Tee had grown up here shed a lot of light on who she was as a person. While I knew she wasn’t a city girl, this was way different than I’d expected.

“You’re gonna turn up here,” Hayden said.

I followed his directions and headed down a heavily tree-lined road.

“It’s supposed to be on the right.” Hayden peered out the window, fingers tapping restlessly. “That’s it.”

I hit the brakes and turned into the nearly invisible driveway. After a hundred feet of interlocking stone drive, the trees thinned out and manicured lawns and gardens took their place. A quarter mile down, the driveway split in two. The one to the right disappeared around a corner. On the left was an enormous house. Actually, it looked more like a mansion with its five-car detached garage and front steps to rival a museum’s entrance. Cassie and Nate’s place seemed like a dump by comparison, and that was saying something.

“Where the shit are we?” I asked.

“Apparently, this is where Tenley’s fiancé lived.” Hayden’s voice came out in a monotone.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope.”

No wonder Tee hadn’t wanted to tell Hayden about that fiancé of hers. Not only was the guy dead, but it looked like his family was disgustingly rich. I pulled the car up to the front steps, surprised that the property wasn’t gated. But then, there were security cameras stationed at various intervals along the front of the house. It wasn’t like Arden Hills was a mecca for crime, so I supposed the gated business wasn’t necessary.

“You want me to come with you?”

“It might be a good idea.”

I waited for Hayden to get out of the car before I did. He looked determined as he walked up the stairs to the massive entrance. There were two sets of doors; the first were elaborately designed wrought iron, the second were heavy, carved wood. He hit the doorbell and waited. The sound of static brought our attention to the intercom system wired into the side of the house. It was one of those high tech jobs with a screen and everything.

No image appeared to accompany the tinny, female voice, “May I help you?”

“I’m here for Tenley,” Hayden barked.

There was a long silence before she spoke again. “I’m sorry, Miss Page is not receiving guests.”

Hayden’s jaw clenched. “According to who?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“Mr. Hoffman, sir. It would be best if you called prior to your arrival.”

He turned to me, “I’m going to beat that fucker’s head in.”

“Pardon me, sir?”

I cut Hayden off before he said something to get himself in trouble. “We’re close friends of Tenley’s. We’ve been trying to get in touch with her, but her cell reception must be bad. Think you can cut us some slack?”

“I’m sorry, sir, but Mr. Hoffman has given very specific orders. I’m not to disturb Miss Page under any circumstances. As I said before, it would be best to call in advance.”

“Screw that,” Hayden said. “You tell that fuckhead Trey, he’d better get out here, or I’m going to shove my foot so far up his ass it’ll come out his mouth.”

There were very few people who could rile Hayden up to the point where he lost control. Sienna had been one of those people for him. She'd never had much of an impact on me, but then I didn't give a shit about her. She made Hayden volatile, though. Putting him in the same room with her was like pulling the pin on a grenade. Eventually, it was going to go off; and when that happened, watch out, because the destruction would be epic. It had been a relief to all of us when he finally ended things with her.

Unfortunately, it looked like this Trey guy, or anyone affiliated with him, had the same effect.

Muffled voices filtered through the intercom, until a man spoke: “Unless you’d like to be arrested for trespassing and uttering threats of bodily harm, I suggest you get back in your car and go home.”

“I’m not going anywhere until I see Tenley.”

The intercom system made a faint clicking sound as it turned off. I waited for Hayden to start beating the door down. Several seconds passed before the small screen to the right of the intercom flickered to life.

Of course the guy was too chicken shit to come to the door, which might have been good. Otherwise, Hayden would have taken him to the ground. I doubted even the best plastic surgeon would have been able to restore his face after Hayden got through with him.

The man on the screen had a narrow, expressionless face. Shadows lined the hollow under his eyes and his nose seemed swollen, like maybe he'd been punched in the face. He looked me over, a slow smile forming as his attention moved to Hayden. In some weird way, he reminded me of Damen from Art Addicts, the tattoo studio where Hayden and I had both started our careers before opening Inked Armor. He had that same snake-ish vibe, like he was gauging the threat and deciding how to take it down.

“I see you brought along one of your bodyguards. I feel it’s only fair to inform you this entire property is under video surveillance, in case you hadn’t noticed.” Hayden looked up to where one of many video cameras was wired into the trusses.

“I suppose it won’t be in your favor to. . . what was it you said? Ah, yes, shove your foot so far up my ass it will come out my throat? Do I have that right?” He adjusted the collar of his shirt, his smile was smug. “Very eloquently stated. You’re quite the purveyor of violence aren’t you? Tenley’s taste has clearly suffered since her move. Or maybe it’s her guilt that’s the problem. Either way, it’s a good thing she came back with me when she did.”

Hayden’s fists clenched at his sides. He was working hard to keep a lid on his anger, but it didn’t look like he was going to win the battle. “Like you gave her a choice?” he spat. “I want to see her, I want to talk to her, now.”

“I imagine you do. However, that’s not going to happen. Tenley had a very long night. You know how dramatic she can be, always making everything about her. Regardless, she finally calmed down enough to fall asleep an hour ago.”

“So wake her the fuck up,” Hayden snapped.

“Considering the amount of medication it took to subdue her, I have my doubts anything short of an apocalypse could wake her.”

“You sonofabitch. What the hell did you do?”

“Nothing she hasn’t done to herself on countless occasions in the past.”

Hayden grabbed the door handle and reefed on it, but it didn’t open.

“Have you already forgotten the cameras above you, recording your attempt at breaking and entering,” he said coolly.

“You’re lucky this is as close as I can get to you,” Hayden snarled.

“It’s closer than you’ll get to Tenley while she’s here with me.”

Hayden was too worked up not to react. He slammed his palms against the iron frame, making it rattle.

I grabbed his shoulder and said quietly, “You gotta get a handle on yourself.”

He shrugged me off. “I’m not going anywhere. Not without Tenley.”

“Like hell you’re not. You’re going to leave my property, or I will call the police. With your appearance and the video feed I have, I don’t think it’ll take much to convince them you’re not welcome here.”

“Let’s bail, H, we can come back later.”

“If either of you so much as drives by my house again, I’ll have a trespass order issued. I’m sure you don’t need to add any more criminal offenses to your record.”

Hayden snorted. “If anyone’s a criminal here, it’s you. Maybe I should call the police and tell them you’ve kidnapped my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend? Is that what you think she is to you? You’re more delusional than I thought,” Trey said with derision. “You go right ahead and notify the police of her whereabouts, but I’m well connected. I’m not sure you’d get very far with such an inane lie.”

“You manipulated her into leaving.”

“I’m sure you’d rather believe that than the truth. Tenley made the choice to come with me. I didn’t have to work hard to convince her it was for the best.”

“I’m sure you didn’t have any problem guilting her into it,” Hayden said.

“All I did was remind her of how unstable she’s been over the past year and how difficult it was for me to take care of her when she was released from the hospital. Of course, you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? Tenley’s not always forthcoming. I’m sure she wasn’t interested in sharing those details with you.”

“I don’t buy it. I think you’re full of shit.”

“Think whatever you want. Tenley was the one who told you to leave. You are the one who followed her here. And for what? To rescue her? Did you honestly believe she would turn around and go back with you?” Trey laughed. “Of course you did. When you called her repeatedly on your way here, she chose not to answer.

“As much as she rails on about hating me at the moment, she still came with me rather than stay with you. If you’ll excuse me, it’s been a long night and I have better things to do than argue with you regarding your misperceptions.”

The screen went blank. Hayden stared at it, silent and unmoving for the longest time.

A static buzz came from the intercom and the housekeeper’s meek voice filtered through. “Mr. Hoffman has called the police. He suggested leaving if you wish to avoid charges.”

“We should just go, H.”

As much as I wanted him to get what he came for—Tenley—that wouldn’t happen if we ended up in a jail cell.

Hayden exhaled hard. “Yeah. You’re right. Let’s get out of here.”

He turned and walked down the steps to the car. I followed, glancing over my shoulder to check the windows. I was sure we were being watched by that jackoff. Hayden dropped into the passenger’s seat and dragged the belt across his chest.

When we were a few miles away, I found a gas station and pulled in. “We can go back later. Maybe that Trey dick will leave and we can convince that housekeeper to let us see Tenley.”

“What’s the point? Trey’s not going to open the door and he’s not going to let Tenley answer it. If we show up there again, he’ll do the same thing and call the police.”

“But Tee’ll have to leave the house at some point, right? It’s not like he can hold her hostage.” I said, hoping I was right.

“Even if everything he said was bullshit, Tenley didn’t tell me she was leaving. She just went with him. I don’t even know her. Not like I thought I did.”

“Sarah said she wasn’t making sense. She was probably just confused. That brother-in-law of hers is a fuckwad.”

“He’s not her brother-in-law,” Hayden said.

“Sorry, you know what I mean. I can only imagine the crap he spewed to make her think she had to come here.”

Hayden shrugged. “She would have stayed in Chicago if she wanted to.”

“You can’t know that unless you talk to her.”

“That’s not going to happen anytime soon.” He sighed. “I need a drink.”

I wasn’t going to argue with him. He’d been up for more than thirty-six hours and a lot of bad shit had happened in a short time. Getting him drunk might be the best plan. His not knowing what was true and what was a lie was going to mess with his head. Without answers from Tenley, Hayden was going on the assumption that all the things that douche said were true.

After finding out who she’d lost, especially the way he did, he’d have a hard time trusting Tenley again—even when she did come back. If I got him wasted, I could buy some time until I figured out a plan. We’d have to grab a hotel room and stay the night in Arden Hills; then we could try again tomorrow. It was better than taking him home with nothing but Trey’s asshole comments floating around in his skull.

“I’ll find us a bar.” I put the car in reverse and drove out of the lot.

It turned out there weren’t that many bars in Arden Hills, and we ended up at a tavern. They served beer and they had flat screens, so I was game. Hayden was disappointed in the selection of scotch, and the draft wasn’t much better.

He opted for the bottled variety, doubling up on the first round. Hayden rarely did draft because he didn’t want to risk drinking out of glasses he suspected weren’t clean. His options were limited, though, and I wasn’t going to cruise around looking for another bar.

If I did, he might decide he wanted to get out of Arden Hills. I didn’t like the idea of leaving Tenley in that house with that fucker Trey. Even if Hayden believed Tee had gone with him by choice, I didn’t think the decision was that simple. Hayden was too wrapped up in his own fears to see Trey was manipulating him, too.

When our waitress, a tiny redhead named Linda, came back to check on us, I ordered him another double round and some food, even though he insisted he wasn’t hungry. Linda looked a little nervous to be serving our table. Hayden was like Eeyore with a black cloud of doom hanging over his head, and neither of us fit the profile of most of the guys in the place. The crowd was a cross between hicks in their mid-to-late twenties and guys over sixty.

Several hours later, Hayden had polished off a dozen beers. The more he drank the less he said. He kept rubbing his eyes until they were completely bloodshot. He had to be wiped. I was. The sun had already gone down, and we couldn’t get his car until the morning.

“Why don’t we settle up here and find a place to crash for the night. We can get Tee in the morning.”

“There’s no point,” Hayden slurred. “Let’s just get my car and go back to Chicago.”

“No can do, bro. You’re hammered. You need sleep and a few gallons of water. A shower wouldn’t hurt, either. Besides, we can’t get your car until morning, might as well stay put.”

He didn’t have the energy left to fight with me, which told me how messed up he was. I paid the tab and got Hayden out of there without too much stumbling. Even in his drunken stupor, he still managed to make it difficult to decide on a decent hotel. He balked at the Quality Inn, but I wasn’t paying for the Hilton when there was a good chance he would puke.

Securing the room was just as much of a challenge as finding a hotel. As far as piercings went, I only had the eyebrow ring, and all my ink was covered by my jacket. Hayden wasn’t so inconspicuous. Besides that, he looked like hell and he was half in the bag.

When the concierge told me there were no rooms available, Hayden pulled out his platinum credit card and his ID. He shot the guy behind the desk a murderous glare. “One room. Non-smoking.”

“Two beds,” I added.

After that, there didn’t seem to be a problem.

Before I was allowed to go into the room, Hayden checked out the bathroom and the closet. It was normal for him to do that kind of thing. Because of his parents’ murders, he was diligent about making sure things were safe.

He shed his coat, hung it on the sole hanger in the closet, then lined his shoes up on the floor. I waited until he was on the other side of the room before I tossed my own shoes and jacket inside and closed the door. He hadn’t had much to say after I’d picked him up at the roadside diner, but since leaving Trey’s, he’d barely managed more than a handful of sentences. I didn’t want to give him a reason to go off.

He milled around the room, moving things he deemed out of place. It was almost seven and I was bagged from lack of sleep. Hayden on the other hand was spun.

“I’m going to grab us some drinks from the vending machine down the hall. You want anything specific?”

“Water is fine,” he said, but didn’t turn away from the window.

I pocketed a keycard and left him in the room. When I came back, Hayden was still standing in front of the window. I carried the armload to the only table in the room, and Hayden stepped in immediately.

He spent several minutes arranging the snacks by type before he was satisfied. Usually I wouldn’t think anything of it, but the length of time it took him worried me. Hayden was always anal. This was worse than usual, though. It made me think of when we were first setting up Inked Armor and he was kicking the coke habit.

Once he’d gotten past the worst of the withdrawal and had started to function again, he put all his energy into getting the shop in order. Sometimes for Hayden, that meant spending hours in the stock room arranging everything until it was perfect. Once I’d left him there after closing, only to find him the next morning, passed out on the floor having used paper towels for a pillow. After that, we watched him a lot closer.

Lisa had been the one to deal with him the most when he got into one of his organizational “moods.” Eventually she figured out how to curb the problem—at least to a point. Stress brought out his anal side and right now he was stressed to the max. As much as Tee might be struggling with her own shit, I was pissed at her for doing this to him. If they’d just been honest in the first place, I wouldn’t be dealing with this.

When Hayden was done organizing the snacks he headed for the bathroom. The shower came on, so I took the opportunity to call Sarah. She had to work tonight and I wanted to catch her before she went in. I’d sent her a couple short, vague messages during the day, hoping I’d have a positive update later. She’d want to be filled in, even if the news wasn’t good.

Sarah answered halfway through the first ring. “Hey, hi. I was going to call you. Are you on your way home now? Can I talk to Tenley? How is she?”

“Whoa, slow down, gorgeous. Are you on the road?” I didn’t want to have this conversation to begin with, especially not if she was driving and distracted.

“No, I’m already at The Dollhouse. I was going to call before I went in, but you beat me to it.”

“Okay. That’s good.” I leaned against the headboard. “So, we’ve hit a little roadblock.”

“A roadblock? What kind of roadblock?” I could almost feel her panic.

“Turns out Tenley’s brother-in-law is loaded. He lives in a mansion with security cameras and everything. He wouldn’t let us in to see Tee. Then he said a bunch of shit to piss Hayden off and called the police on us.”

“Oh my God, did Hayden get arrested? Did he kick Trey’s teeth in? Please tell me he did. No, wait, I don’t mean that. I never should have let Tenley leave. I should have called you first, and then Hayden could have stopped her.”

“Sarah, baby, calm down. Hayden didn’t get arrested. That pussy wouldn’t even open the door.”

“He’s such a bastard. You should have heard the way he talked to Tenley,” Sarah’s voice shook. “He was horrible with her. For her to go back to Arden Hills with him . . . you can’t leave her there.”

“We’re gonna do everything we can to bring her home. We’re staying the night in a hotel so we can try again tomorrow. Hayden’s pretty wrecked, though, and he’s not in best frame of mind.”

“I don’t know what Tenley said to Hayden, but she kept telling me she didn’t deserve him. I just . . . I’m scared. If she doesn’t come back with you, I’m afraid she won’t come back at all.”

I had no idea what to say to that. I didn’t know Tee well enough to have a solid read on the situation. “Have you tried to call her?”

“A bunch of times. It goes straight to voicemail. I really hope she remembered her charger.”

“Me, too.” A dead battery was a better scenario than Tee purposely avoiding H’s calls. Being the dickwad he was, Trey would have said anything to put doubts in Hayden’s mind.

“I’m really sorry, Chris, I have to go. Sienna called me in early and I don’t want to get left with a bad section.”

I had a vision of Sarah dressed in one of her skimpy outfits. “You be careful in there. Don’t let Sienna pull her crap with you.”

“I’ll be fine. Can I call you when my shift is done? I know it’ll be late . . . .” she trailed off.

“Yeah, of course. You call whenever you feel like it. I sleep pretty hard, so you might have to try a couple times.”

“Okay.”

“Catch ya later.”

“Chris?”

“Yeah.”

“I think—” she hesitated and expelled a slow breath. “I’m glad I met you. You’re a really good guy. Take care of Hayden.”

I didn’t expect the compliment. “Uh, thanks. I will.”

She hung up first. I ran my thumb back and forth over the blank screen, listening to the sound of the shower running. Hayden had been in there a long time. I leaned over, knocked on the wall and called out, “You all right in there, bro?”

I got back a muffled, “Yeah. I’ll be done in a few.”

Hayden could go to dark places. I’d witnessed some pretty low moments with him. Many of his worst included Sienna. Tee was as opposite to Sienna as a person could get, which probably made this whole thing harder to deal with.

I only knew the version of Tee who hung out in the shop and gave Hayden the gears about cupcakes. Everything else—her past, the things she’d seen—that information had been passed on to me through Hayden. But his brain didn’t work the same way as most people. The way he saw things was different. Sometimes that was good, other times it wasn’t. He’d own her leaving as a failure on his part.

With Tee, it had been clear from the beginning that she wasn’t a chick he planned to bang and ditch. Now that he’d seen what Tenley’s life would have looked like if all those people hadn’t died, he was going to be hard to manage. Hayden was good at getting inside his own head and staying there. Sometimes I was grateful that I didn’t have his smarts. It was as much a curse as a gift.

Twenty-five minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Hayden came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. The skin that wasn’t covered in ink was bright pink and irritated looking. “I used all the soap,” he said matter of factly. “And the hot water.”

“I can shower later.”

He laid his clothes over the chair, rearranging them until they were creaseless. Then he went back into the bathroom and the hair dryer came on.

“Getting pretty for me?” I called, hoping to get a laugh out of him. I didn’t expect to succeed.

“Fuck you,” came the reply.

The bathroom door was still open, so I leaned forward and caught a glimpse of his reflection in the full length mirror hanging in the hall. He was blasting a pair of boxer shorts with the blow dryer.

I got up off the bed and came around so I could see him clearly. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What the hell does it look like? I’m drying my boxers. I’ve been wearing them all day. It wasn’t like I was going to shower and then put them back on dirty. It’s bad enough I’m going to have to wear the same clothes tomorrow.”

“Right. Gotcha.” I left him to it and palmed the remote so I could channel surf while I waited for him to be done.

“Feel better now?” I asked when he came out a while later wearing the dry boxers.

He nabbed a Gatorade from the table and flopped down on his bed. “No. But I’m clean, so there’s that.”

I muted the TV. “Should we make a plan for tomorrow?”

“I don’t know that it’s going to make a difference. As much as I hate it, that shithead has a point. Even if she didn’t want to, she left with him. I think that spells out pretty fucking clearly where we’re at.”

“I don’t know, H. She’s got a lot going on, and that Trey guy is shady. I wouldn’t trust a damn thing that comes out of his mouth. I think we should try again in the morning.”

“I guess.” He punched his pillow and turned his attention to the TV. “You mind turning that up. I’m done talking.”

I must have passed out at some point, because I woke up to my phone vibrating against my cheek. I fumbled with it, blinding myself with the glare of the screen. It was Sarah. I answered the call, glancing over at Hayden. He’d fallen asleep sitting up with his arms crossed over his chest. The TV screen glowed black, casting a dim shadow across the room. I rolled off the bed and shut myself in the bathroom.

“Hey, how’s it going?” My voice came out all gravel.

“I’m sorry I woke you.”

“No problem. I’d wake up to the sound of your voice any time. How many times did you call before I picked up?”

“Four.”

“That’s not bad.”

She laughed, but then grew serious. “Have you heard anything?”

“Nothing. But then that Trey guy said she was sleeping.”

“Do you believe him?” Sarah asked softly.

“I don’t know what to believe.”

“I tried to call Tenley a few more times tonight. I’ve even emailed her with no response. It’s not like her. She’s not a heavy sleeper and she has a lot of nightmares. I used to hear her, back before she and Hayden were a thing.”

“Hear her? Like walking around her apartment in the middle of the night?”

“She had night terrors or whatever you call them. She’d scream in her sleep. Sometimes it was so loud I could hear it from my apartment.”

“Seriously?”

“You didn’t know? Hayden didn’t tell you that?”

I sat on the edge of the tub and rubbed my temple. I’d only had a couple of beers earlier, so that couldn’t be the reason for the sudden headache. Maybe it was lack of sleep and the stress of the situation. “This thing between them is way complicated. Hayden’s not into sharing, especially not his feelings. He keeps a lot of stuff to himself. Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s going on with him. We’re going back to Trey’s tomorrow to try again. Whatever happens, I’ll call you.”

We talked for a few more minutes but she was preoccupied and I was tired. Eventually she ended the call and I went back to bed, but I didn’t sleep much after that.

Hayden woke up at five in the morning. Normally, I could sleep through anything. He must have had one hell of a dream, though, because he’d ended up on the floor between our beds, swearing like a champ.

“You all right, man?” I asked, struggling to focus in the dim room.

“I don’t—”

He rubbed a circle over his pecs and looked down at his hand, eyes wide and haunted. I didn’t have to ask what that was about.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

That was total bullshit. He picked himself up off the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. He stayed that way for a while, elbows resting on his knees with his head bowed. Eventually, he got up and disappeared into the bathroom. This time he was quick with the shower. I figured he’d want to get Tenley early so we could all head home.

My own shower wasn’t that refreshing. Hayden hadn’t left much in the way of shampoo and the soap was gone. I hadn’t thought to call down to the front desk to ask for more, so I made do with what little there was.

Fifteen minutes later, I came out of the bathroom to find Hayden dressed, sitting on the edge of the bed, foot bouncing on the floor.

“Let’s go get my car.”

I stood there, staring at his bowed head, trying to decide if I’d heard right. “I think you mean we should go get Tenley.”

“No. I want to get out of here and get my car. Like I said before, if we go back to that house someone will call the police. I’ve never had a record and I don’t need one now.”

“Calling the cops doesn’t mean you’ll end up with a record. We have to at least try.”

“Tenley’s not answering her phone. Not for me. I know Sarah tried to call her because I heard you talking last night.” He stood up. “Trey’s right. She made a choice and I’m not it.”

I thought he’d been asleep when I answered the call. Obviously, I’d been wrong. Arguing with him was pointless. When Hayden got an idea in his head, it was impossible to change his mind. I considered using Lisa or Sarah as leverage to get him to go back to Trey’s. It would cause more problems than it would solve, though. Hayden didn’t need any more guilt than he was already shouldering.

“Okay. We’ll get your car and go home.”

The first three hours of the drive were tense. Hayden hadn’t had much to say. We picked up his car from the impound lot without too much hassle, thankfully. Hayden was edgy and I didn’t want him to freak on anyone, so I did the talking. I didn’t feel good about him driving in his condition, but at least I could follow him and make sure he didn’t launch his car off a bridge. That seemed to be a possibility, given his mood.

On the way home I called Sarah and got her voicemail. I left a message telling her we’d be back soon, but I didn’t mention Tenley’s not being with us. Lisa's texts had gone unanswered since we left Arden Hills; they were growing in frequency the longer I stayed silent. I couldn’t reply, unable to handle her reaction when she found out I’d failed.

When we got to Chicago, I followed Hayden into the parking garage of his building and made him hand over the spare key to his apartment.

“What do you need my key for?”

“So I can check on you when you don’t show up for work tomorrow.”

“I’ve got appointments lined up. I’ll be there.”

I held out my hand. “I still want the key. I’ll call before I come by.”

He handed it over with an eye roll. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned away, pausing to look over his shoulder. “Thanks, for coming to get me and for taking me to get Tenley, even though it didn’t work out.”

“Any time, H. She’ll be back when she’s ready.”

“We’ll see.” He disappeared into the stairwell, moving slowly.

I parked Sarah’s car behind Serendipity. Lisa needed to be filled in before I called Sarah again, so I cut through the narrow alleyway leading to the storefronts and crossed the street to Inked Armor.

Lisa shot out of her chair when she saw me, then sank back down just as quickly when she realized I was alone. What I didn’t expect—although maybe should have—was to find Sarah sitting beside her. She jumped up and came out from behind the cash desk, throwing her arms around me. The hug caught me off guard. I stumbled back a step as I returned the embrace.

“I’m so glad you’re home. Where are Tenley and Hayden?”

I wanted something other than bad news to relay. “Hayden went up to his condo.”

“Tenley’s with him, though, right? Have they worked things out?” Sarah asked.

I was glad I couldn’t see her face, because I didn’t want to be responsible for the disappointment I was about to put there. I glanced at Lisa and shook my head, confirming what she already knew.

Lisa’s shoulders sagged and Jamie came over to put an arm around her. “How is he?”

“Not good.”

Sarah leaned back and looked from me to Lisa. “What’s going on?”

“Tenley didn’t come back with us.”

“What? Why not? I don’t understand.”

“Remember how I told you that Trey dick called the police on us? Hayden figured it was pointless to try and go back. And Tee hadn’t answered any of his calls, so there was that, too. Plus Trey said a bunch of shit that riled Hayden up yesterday. I think he spent all night stewing over it.” I looked to Lisa. “I tried to convince him we should try again this morning, but you know how he is. He gets something in his head and he can’t get past it.”

“But he was supposed to bring her back,” Sarah said softly, her bottom lip trembling. “It’s my fault she left. I let her go.”

“Hey, don’t do that to yourself.” I ran my palms down her arms, hating that my inability to change Hayden’s mind made her take on the blame. “Tee made a choice.”

“But I could have . . .” She shook her head. “I should have stopped her.”

“She’ll be back,” I said, praying it was true.

“I hope so.” Sarah dropped her head and sniffled.

“You want me to walk you back to your place?” I asked.

“Please. Will you stay for a while?”

“Yeah. Of course.” I was more than happy to spend time with Sarah. I just wished it were under different, less crappy circumstances.

She gave Lisa a hug and they had a whispered conversation while Jamie asked me in a low voice how bad I thought Hayden was. All I could think to compare it to was when Hayden finally cut ties with Sienna, and he was way more attached to Tenley then he ever was to Sienna. Hayden wasn’t going to deal with this well. We all knew that. Sarah didn’t know his history, though. The shitstorm would hit eventually; I wanted to protect her from it as long as I could. When Hayden went down, he went down hard.

“I’ll be back later.” I tossed the key to Hayden’s apartment on the counter. “You might want to go up there and check on him. I don’t know that his being alone is good right now.”

I walked Sarah out and took her across the street to her apartment. She made me tea while I filled in the details.

She curled up on the couch beside me, folding her legs under her. “I just wish Tenley would have talked to Hayden before she left. She’s in love with him. I think after everything she’s lost, Tenley’s terrified of the way she feels.” She paused to sip her tea. “That brother-in-law of hers is awful . . .”

“He’s a jerkoff. The only thing that makes me feel any better is the fact that there are other people in that house with her. At least she’s not completely alone with him, even if they’re Trey’s employees.”

“She didn’t talk about him much. The few things she shared weren’t good. I’m pretty sure he took care of her after the crash. He was the only one left. Everyone else was gone. I think she believes it’s her fault everyone died and I have a feeling Trey would reinforce that guilt.”

Things were starting to add up. Trey had mentioned something about having taken care of her after she was released from the hospital. I dropped my head back and closed my eyes, wishing I’d pushed Hayden to go back this morning instead of leaving her behind.

I felt the cushion beside me dip. Sarah’s long nails skimmed my temple before sifting through my hair. “You must be exhausted.”

“I’m all right.” I was tired, but too worried about Hayden, and now Tenley, to be able to relax. I’d been in the same clothes for the past two days and I’d sat in a car for more than seven hours today. The only food I’d eaten had come either prepackaged or from a drive thru.

“Can I get you anything besides tea? Are you hungry? Do you want a shower?"

I cracked an eyelid. “Do I smell that bad?”

“What? No. I just . . . you’ve been wearing these clothes since we went out the other night. I could wash them for you if want to shower. It might make you feel better.”

I looked down at my wrinkled shirt. The lack of food stains was a surprise since I’d been in it for so long. The offer was nice, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about showering at her place.

We’d barely made it to third base the last time we went out. Although, if we hadn’t been interrupted by Hayden’s call that night, things might have been different. Showering meant getting naked in her space. I was already entertaining possible scenarios. It didn’t bode well for keeping things slow.

“It’s cool. I can wait until I get home.”

“Honestly, I don’t mind. Let me get things set up for you.”

She was off the couch and down the hall before I could stop her. Not that I had much motivation to, anyway. A shower and clean clothes would be heaven.

A minute later she poked her head around the corner. “Okay! All set.”

It took a lot more energy to get my ass off the couch than it should have. I stretched as I followed her down the hall, my eyes gravitating to her legs. They were endless, and I knew what they felt like when they were wrapped around my waist, thanks to our last make-out session.

Sarah didn’t fit the usual strip-club waitress profile. Sure she had a rockin’ body, but she was missing the huge tits, the extensions, and the fluorescent fake nails. It was what I liked about her in the first place. She seemed out of place in The Dollhouse. The skimpy outfits never made sense on her, even though they looked good.

The shower was running, the bathroom already filled with steam. Once Sarah showed me where everything was, I closed the door and stripped. Wrapping a towel around my waist, I cracked the door and passed her my clothes.

Her eyes dropped to my waist and lingered there. “I’ll just put these in the wash then . . .” She gave me a small smile before she left me to it.

Sarah’s shower was weak compared to mine, but it was awesome anyway. I hadn’t realized how much I needed it until I lathered up and washed off the residue of the past two days. I wanted to scrub away the failure.

Sarah used expensive shampoo. It wasn’t the typical girlie stuff, either so I wouldn’t end up smelling like fruit, or a flower bed. I stayed in the shower until the hot water started to cool. Once I dried off, I wrapped the second towel around my waist. It covered all the important parts.

I found Sarah in the living room sitting cross-legged on the couch, a pair of glasses perched on her nose and her laptop propped open on the coffee table. Her jeans were ripped at the knees and her t-shirt was just as worn. It wasn’t anything special, but she looked so damn hot. My cock must have realized this at the same time as my brain and forgot the memo to stay the hell down. The towel I had for cover didn’t camo the problem, but the back of the couch was the right height, so I hid the issue behind it.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a t-shirt that would fit me?”

“I don’t—” Sarah sucked in a breath when she turned around. Her eyes dropped from my face. Aside from my sleeves, I had a few smaller pieces on my chest. “I . . . uh . . . wow.”

“Is that a no?”

“What?”

“A shirt? You think you might have one for me?” With the way she was staring, I almost hoped she didn't.

“Right.” She cleared her throat. “I doubt it. What size are you? An XL?”

“I could make that work.”

“Let me check.”

She popped up off the couch and hurried out of the room. It gave me the opportunity to sit down without Sarah getting an eyeful of my semi. I grabbed the closest pillow and put it over my lap for extra protection.

I felt a little stupid hanging out in just a towel, but the shower had felt so good. Sarah had made me another tea while I’d been in the bathroom. I picked up the mug and took a sip. It was minty, like her shampoo.

She returned with a couple of t-shirts. “These are the ones I sleep in. They’re the biggest I have. You can try them on and see if one fits.” She held up a bright pink one with the logo of a college I’d never heard of on it. “This one is the loosest on me.”

I took it from her and checked the tag. It was men’s large. The neck was so small I could barely get it over my head. It was way too tight, but I’d take being slightly uncomfortable for the next couple of hours if it meant time with Sarah. Especially after the shit day I’d had.

Sarah bit her lip to keep from smiling. “I think it’s too small.”

“You don’t think it’s a good fit?” I asked, running my hand over my pecs. If I raised my arms over my head, I could almost guarantee I’d rip it at the seams. “I think the color makes me look hot.”

“You were hot without the shirt on. Now you’re ridiculous.”

“I thought you’d be more comfortable if I was wearing more than a towel, but if you want me to take it off—”

Sarah’s grin was devilish. “The shirt or the towel?”

I raised an eyebrow. “That’d give a whole new meaning to hanging out.”

She burst into laughter and I smiled. Part of me—the one hidden under the pillow and the towel—was disappointed she didn’t opt for clothing removal.

She sat down next to me and nabbed the remote, flicking on the TV. The Discovery channel came on, featuring some nature program. “Are you okay with this?” Sarah lifted my arm, ducking under it so she could burrow into my side.

“Sure. It’s cool.” We could watch static for all I cared. It was just nice to chill with her.

During the show, Sarah migrated from her own couch cushion to my lap. I liked that she was all tucked up against me. I dwarfed most women, but Sarah was tall, so I didn’t feel like I would break her if I hugged her. She snuggled in closer, the top of her head under my chin.

“What’s up, you okay?” I asked, giving her a squeeze.

“I just wish I knew what was going on with Tenley.” She traced the perimeter of one of the buildings tattooed on my arm.

“Yeah. That whole situation is messed up.” I kissed her hair.

She lifted her head. “Do you really think she'll be back?”

She looked so sad. It made me wish I’d done a better job of convincing Hayden to stay and work things out. “You said yourself she’s in love with him. That’s got to make it hard to walk away permanently. Especially after everything she’s already been through.”

She nodded, as if she wanted to believe it, too. Neither of us looked away, and the heavy weight of her anxiety became something more like desperation, charging the air.

Her fingers skimmed my jaw, running over the stubble I hadn’t shaved because I didn’t want to use her razor without asking first. Sarah’s palm came to rest against the side of my neck. She lifted her chin and tugged, pulling my mouth down. It started out innocent enough, but that didn’t last.

Sarah shifted around, straddling my lap as she sucked on my bottom lip. Her thumbs stroked down the side of my neck as she tilted her head and slipped her tongue into my mouth. She tasted like mint tea and some kind of sweet lip balm or whatever girls put on their lips to keep them soft and kissable. Which hers were.

I tried not to get too excited. Sarah was upset. Maybe she was looking for a diversion from the shittiness of the past couple of days. I knew I was, but I wasn’t going to make the next move, in case she regretted the decision when she wasn’t so keyed up.

I kept my hands on her waist, but the urge to move them higher or lower was pretty damn difficult to curb when she started making noises to accompany the tongue action. Those nails of hers went under my shirt, but the thing was so tight she couldn’t get far.

Sarah broke off the kiss and went for the hem, pushing it up until my abs were exposed. “Want to help me out here?” she asked, all attitude, even though she was breathless.

“Not when you ask like that, no.”

She stopping fighting with the shirt long enough to meet my gaze. I tried not to smile at her angry expression. Sarah was aggressive. It was part of the reason I liked her. She was also no nonsense and had a biting sense of humor.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder and batted her eyelashes. “Please?”

I lifted my arms over my head. “Will you look at that? Must be magic.”

“Oh, I’m looking, all right,” she muttered and went back to the battle with the too-small shirt.

It got stuck on my chin and then again on my nose. “I don’t even know how you got this on in the first place. You’re built like the Hulk.” She gave it a firm yank and it finally came off.

Then it was just me in my towel and her fully dressed. It seemed unfair, but I wasn’t pushing. Not that I needed to. Sarah evened the playing field by losing her own shirt.

I kept my eyes on her face, even though I could swear her boobs had magnets in them. “Are you sure you want to be doing this right now?”

She reached behind her back, arching so her chest pushed out toward me. I looked down. Her bra was plain white satin. None of that lacy shit or frilly crap to distract me. It slid down her arms and her boobs came into view. I hadn’t seen them unwrapped before. I mean, we’d done some serious making out. She’d had her hand down my pants and I’d had mine down hers, but there hadn’t been any getting naked.

“Sarah.” I closed my eyes and held onto her hips. The image of her perfect, soft, round tits with their sweet pink nipples was already seared into my brain.

“Chris,” she whispered, lips brushing mine. Her fingers drifted along my arms. “I want you to touch me.”

“I am touching you,” I mumbled around her tongue.

“I didn’t get shirtless so you could fondle my hips.”

She guided my hands over her ribs until I reached the swell of her breasts. My thumbs brushed her nipples and she made a soft, throaty sound.

“Mm. That’s so much better.”

I wanted to be able to control myself, but I wasn’t sure it was in the cards tonight. Sarah was raring to go and all I’d done so far was feel her up. My plan had been to take her on at least one or two more dates before I let her take it to the next level, but with the way her hands kept heading south, I had my doubts it would go down that way.

She fumbled with the towel, hand diving under, fingers exploring until she reached my cock and grabbed hold. “Shit, Sarah,” I groaned as she gave it a firm squeeze.

She broke the kiss and looked down as her thumb circled the head. “Oh God.”

“You can just call him Dick,” I joked, worried about my stamina tonight. I’d been cooped up with Hayden for the past couple of days, so taking care of business hadn’t been a priority. Now I wished I’d made it one when I’d been in her shower.

“I’m going to be totally honest with you.” Sarah looked from my cock to my face and down again. “I knew you were . . . ample—”

“Ample? Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

She ignored my question and kept running her thumb around the head. “—I just didn’t expect you to be proportional to your body.”

I lowered my voice to a whisper. “If you cover it with the towel, you can pretend you didn’t see it, and there won’t be anything to be afraid of.”

She scrunched up her nose and tweaked my nipple. It hurt.

I grabbed her around the waist and laid her out on the couch. Her legs locked around my hips and she shrieked, giggling.

“I didn’t say I was afraid!”

“Maybe you’re just a little intimidated.”

She squirmed under me. “More like nervously anticipating.”

“What is it that you’re nervously anticipating?”

“You fucking me.”

The mood went from light to serious. I stared into those dark blue eyes of hers. “It’s been a rough couple of days. We don’t have to rush—”

“Stop overthinking things and take my jeans off.”

I sat back when she pushed on my chest, giving her room to pop the button and pull them over her hips. I took over from there, dragging the jeans down her legs. She wore simple white cotton bikini briefs.

“God, you’re beautiful,” I said, running my hands up the outside of her thighs. I hesitated as I hooked my fingers into the waistband of her panties. But then she lifted her hips and I removed those, too. Between her legs was a neatly trimmed triangle of pale blond pointing toward the Holy Grail.

I leaned over, kissing her softly before I started a slow descent, stopping at her nipples to lick and suck while I ran a knuckle down her slit. She was soft and smooth and so goddamn fucking wet, it was killing me not to just dive in. But I took my time, kissing every inch of skin until my face was between her luscious legs.

Sarah’s sighs were soft as I licked her clit and slid two fingers inside her, pumping slowly, learning her body. When she came, her body shook and she said my name in a low, desperate whisper. She cupped my face in her hands, guiding me up to her mouth.

“We don’t have to—” she cut me off with a hard kiss.

“Please, Chris. You make me feel good. I want to feel good.”

“You sure? ’Cause once we go there, we can’t go back.” She tried to kiss me again, but I stayed out of reach. “I need to hear it. I don’t want to screw this up.”

“I want this. I want you.”

I reached blindly for the coffee table, but Sarah beat me to it. She rifled through my wallet, produced a foil square and tore it open. I didn’t think to ask how she knew it was in there. Sarah was the one who rolled it on. She lined everything up. I pushed forward and eased inside, inch by slow inch.

Sarah’s eyes fluttered shut and her body relaxed into the couch. I wished I’d thought to change locations before we took things this far. I hadn’t banked on this happening tonight. A bed would have been better, but it was too late to stop now. I waited until her eyes opened again before I started to move.

Each measured thrust was punctuated by Sarah’s quiet moans. She gripped my shoulders, fingernails biting the skin. I cradled the back of her head in my palm and kept my mouth on hers, working to hold a steady rhythm.

I knew when she came again by the way her lips parted, and she threw her head back in a silent scream. She was gorgeous and sexy and exactly what I had expected her to be in bed. Fucking phenomenal.

Later, Sarah went to get my clothes from the dryer. When she came back my pants and shirt were draped over her arm.

She tossed my boxers at me. "Your pants are still a little damp.

"They're clean. That's a serious improvement over smelling like stale French fries." I held out a hand for them, but she cradled them to her chest.

"You could stay if you wanted."

"Until my pants are dry?"

Sarah shrugged. "Or longer."

"How much longer?"

"You could spend the night," she said softly.

I shoved my feet into my boxer and pulled them up as I rose from the couch. "They'll definitely be dry by then."

"So you'll stay?"

"That all depends . . ." I took a step closer to her.

"On what?"

"Where I'm sleeping."

Sarah's grin was full of promise. "Who said anything about sleeping?"

As she led me down the hall to her bedroom I realized I'd been right; we couldn't go back now. And I didn't want to.

Inked Armor

Coming Soon from Gallery Books

a division of Simon and Schuster

May 2014

Chapter One

Tenley

At 6:23 in the morning, the front door opened downstairs and the security system let out a chirp, signaling Trey’s arrival. I held my breath as I listened for the sound of the code’s being punched in, then a warning beep, followed by Trey’s irate curse.

Last night I’d changed the security code for the seventh time in as many days. I started doing it after I woke up to his standing over my bed, screaming bloody murder about the tattoo on my back. Verbal abuse from my almost brother-in-law was not a good way to wake up. So since he’d thwarted my attempts to have the lock changed, I made the alarm system the bane of his existence.

Trey strung together creative new phrases describing exactly what he thought of me; he knew the alarm would start shrieking at any moment. I reached for my iPhone, jammed in the earbuds, and scrolled to the playlist I’d created for this freak show. Hard rock filled my ears as the alarm went into full panic mode.

Before long he started pounding on my door. Nabbing the remote from my night table, I turned on the surround sound hooked up to the flat-screen and blasted techno beats, then went into my bathroom to shower. Trey hated techno.

The pounding had ended by the time I’d showered and dressed. With practiced stealth, I silently turned the dead bolt on my bedroom door. Opening it a crack, I peeked out. No Trey, but that didn’t mean he was gone. He’d waited for hours before; his persistence knew no bounds.

Just outside the door was a pile of papers and a pen for me to sign over the property. He’d shown up each morning without fail, but in the past week his tactics had changed slightly. Occasionally he left the papers and ambushed me later in the day or the evening. The past couple of days, he’d gone back to waiting me out.

My response never changed. I always tore up the papers and watched them scatter like fat snowflakes on the floor. Their destruction had become a ritual I enjoyed.

I was about to shred the ones left for me this morning when I noticed they weren’t the usual documents. The stack was thinner. I leafed through the pages, frowning as I absorbed the content. The back page held my sloppy signature. Based on what I was reading, I’d signed over power of attorney to Trey.

I had absolutely no recollection of reading this document, never mind signing it. According to the date, it was drafted and made legal two months after the accident. I’d been released from the hospital at that point, but I hadn’t been in any state to care for myself, and Trey had put himself in charge of my medication. Now I understood why.

“Trey!” I crushed the documents in my fist and rushed down the stairs.

He was sitting at the kitchen island, typing away on his laptop with a coffee at his side. As if it were his house and not mine. I slammed the laptop shut on his hands.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He stood, his chair toppling backward. The metallic clatter echoed in the open space.

“What’s wrong with me?” I shoved the papers into his chest. “What’s wrong with you? Do you think you can bully me into signing the house over?”

He seized my wrists to stop me from attacking him. His lip curled in a sneer. “I have power of attorney. I can take everything if I want to.”

“Have you lost your mind? Do you honestly think this is going to hold? I wasn’t even lucid when I signed this.” I struggled against him, the bones in my wrists grinding painfully as his grip tightened.

“Sign over the house and it won’t be a problem.”

“Not to you, and especially not now!” I spat.

“Sign over the fucking house, goddamnit!” he roared.

“Why are you so intent on making me do this?” I screamed back.

“Because the estate is useless to me until I have possession of this house!”

He released my wrists and turned away to lurch around the kitchen, his wiry body jerking as he tried to get a handle on himself. Trey had never before lost control. I rubbed my wrists, red marks marring the skin where he’d held me too hard. His nostrils flared, eyes burning with hatred. He took a deep breath and adjusted his tie.

“There are five houses on the property; why do you need this one?” I asked, his motivation lost on me. Although, with him, logic need not apply.

“Are you really that stupid? I can’t sell the estate unless I own all the houses.”

“But in your parents’ will—”

“The will doesn’t matter anymore! My parents are dead, no thanks to your brilliant wedding plans, so what they wanted is irrelevant.”

The shot of guilt hit me like a bullet to the heart. “That’s not fair.”

“You don’t like the truth? Is it too much for you to handle? Should I get you a pill?”

“Enough.” I held up my hand.

I could never live in this house—not when it symbolized everything that might have been, but would never be. I couldn’t stand the thought of it leaving his family. Especially when he had so many close relatives who would jump at the opportunity to call the estate home if they could afford it. The property had been in his family for generations.

“Even if I signed over this house, your uncles still own the summer home, don’t they?” I asked.

“My uncles will sell.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because everyone has a price. I’m just not sure what yours is. I mean, you stayed with Connor even after he fucked his way through half the female population of Cornell while you were on your little break, or whatever you called it,” Trey sneered. “And then you jumped all over that fucking proposal. So maybe the money is more important than you’re letting on. You’ve been more than willing to relinquish your self-respect these days, from what I witnessed in Chicago. What if I doubled the offer? Would you take it then?”

Any shred of empathy I may have had for Trey dissolved. Connor hadn’t been perfect, and neither had our relationship, but Trey’s allegation sounded like another of his ploys to hurt me. True or not, I didn’t need that stain on Connor’s memory.

“Why do you have to be so cruel?”

Trey’s smile was malicious. “You are the only thing standing in my way, and I will do anything in my power to get what I need. If you don’t sign it over, I will take it. The request was a courtesy, but I see you’re too self-absorbed to understand that. As usual.”

I held up the crumpled papers, my resolve hardening. “This will never hold.”

“We’ll see about that.”

He righted the toppled chair and picked up his suit jacket. He tucked the laptop into his briefcase, but before he closed the case he withdrew yet another set of papers. These I recognized.

“I’ll just leave these for you, shall I? In case you change that little mind of yours.” With that, he turned and walked out the door.

As soon as Trey’s car disappeared around the bend in the drive, I sank down in one of the chairs. His words were like slivers working deep into my skin.

My relationship with Connor had always been tricky. He was older by several years, and he’d had some unrealistic expectations, mostly old-fashioned notions of propriety. In hindsight, it had been all about keeping up appearances. If we’d gotten married, I would have had to balance that my entire life. All my “little quirks,” as Connor called them, would have been shelved or channeled into more acceptable things. Or hidden under clothing or hair, as my tiny tattoo and ear piercings had been.

Connor had been halfway across the country for years, only coming back to Minnesota during the summer months and holidays. When we started dating, he flew back more often. But the distance strained the relationship, and in my final semester of college it became too much to juggle. I needed to focus on school, not pine for a boyfriend so far away. So I gave him a reprieve. It lasted eight weeks. I’d never asked him about that span of time. It hadn’t seemed necessary to know, because shortly thereafter he proposed.

Unfortunately, that little barb from Trey brought up other concerns that had nothing to do with Connor. An image of Hayden with Sienna all over him popped into my head. The thought made my stomach turn. I couldn’t stand the idea of him with anyone but me. Which wasn’t fair because I left him, not the other way around.

If he went back to her in my absence, I had no one to blame but myself. Two weeks was long enough for her to find a way to sink her claws back into him, especially with how I’d left things. It made the urgency of tying up loose ends even more pressing. I missed him so much it was a constant, painful distraction.

I smoothed the power-of-attorney papers out on the counter. Unlike sorting through Connor’s effects or managing the financial aspects of the settlement, this wasn’t something I could handle on my own. I snatched up my purse and the documents and headed for the garage.

The familiar drive to Minneapolis didn’t take long, and I soon reached Williams and Williams Attorneys at Law. I should have called ahead, but Frank Williams was a longtime friend of my father’s. I was certain he would see me, even without an appointment.

The elevator ride to the twelfth floor took forever. The confined space made me anxious; I hadn’t been to Frank’s office since I signed the paperwork regarding the settlement from the airline and my parents’ will.

The receptionist looked surprised as I entered. “Tenley!”

“Hi, Catherine. I’m afraid I don’t have an appointment, but I’m happy to wait if Frank is available.”

“Is everything okay? Is there a problem with the settlement?”

“It’s about Connor’s estate. I have . . . some questions.”

“I’ll be right back.” She went down the hall to Frank’s office, and less than a minute later he appeared, Catherine following behind.

“Tenley! It’s so good to see you.” Though he smiled, I saw his concern as he folded me in a fatherly embrace. I hugged him back. “How is Chicago treating you?”

“I’m taking a short break. There are some things that need my attention here.”

“Why don’t you come to my office and we can talk.” He looked to Catherine. “Can you reschedule that lunch meeting?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll let you know if we need to rearrange anything else this afternoon,” Frank said, and led me to his office.

Once the doors were closed, I filled him in, handing over the documents. Frank lifted the bifocals hanging around his neck, his frown deepening as he scanned the pages.

“Why haven’t I seen this before?” he asked.

“I just found out about it this morning. I came directly to you. Is Trey right? Can he take everything?” The property and the value attached to it didn’t concern me. It was having control stripped away, the potential for more loss too much to handle.

“This is your signature?” He flipped to the back page and turned it toward me.

“Yes, but I had just been released from the hospital and was on a lot of medications. I don’t remember signing that.”

“That son of a—” Frank shook his head. “He can be disbarred for this.”

“Is there anything we can do?”

“I’ll need a few days, but I’m sure I can have this rescinded. He should be taken to task over this—but I have a feeling you won’t be interested in going that route.”

“I don’t have the energy to take him to court. I just want to make sure he doesn’t have any power over me, and that he doesn’t get the house. I want this behind me so I can move on.”

“If that’s what you prefer. Now, Catherine said something about Connor’s estate. Is there more we need to deal with?”

“Yes.” I pulled out a copy of Trey’s transfer-of-ownership papers and the proposed remuneration.

So much had changed since I’d signed the papers for the settlement. I’d been drowning in guilt over accepting financial compensation for such overwhelming emotional losses. For the past year I’d believed the loss was a direct result of my selfishness. Trey had played on that, but I’d finally seen that what had happened was far beyond anyone’s control. I wouldn’t allow him to hold that over me anymore.

Four days later I was back in Frank’s office with Connor’s cousin Weston.

Frank had been able to overturn the power of attorney. He’d also uncovered some information about a recent proposal for the Hoffman estate, which sprawled over ten acres with five houses. Trey had applied to the city council for commercial zoning and demolition.

My house and its two-acre parcel of land was a gift from Connor’s parents, meant for us once we were married. We were supposed to move in when we returned from Hawaii—except that hadn’t happened.

I’d been shocked when I found out the property had been left to me. Trey had been livid, particularly since Connor, who’d specialized in real estate law, had left him with no loopholes to take it from me.

While his plans for the property were unknown, some of the houses, if not all of them, were at risk of being torn down. That was not acceptable.

In drawing up the new transfer-of-ownership agreement, Frank included a clause that stipulated the house and two acres would remain under the residential zoning bylaws. And since the house was smack in the middle of the estate, that kyboshed Trey’s plans.

Pen in hand, Weston looked up at me. “You’re sure about this?”

“Absolutely. Connor would have wanted to keep the estate in the family.” Weston’s family also held half the deed to the summer home. Once my house was signed over, Trey was effectively screwed.

Weston and Connor had been close growing up. Weston had almost come to the wedding, but it hadn’t worked with his schedule. He’d been gravely disappointed, but now I was glad for that small mercy.

With a respectful nod, he bent over the papers, signing at each of the yellow tabs. When his signature was scrawled on the last page, he set the pen down.

“Is that it?” I asked Frank. “The house is Weston’s?”

“That’s it. The keys will be passed over tomorrow evening at five.”

That would give me enough time to get the rest of Connor’s effects boxed and sent off to charity and to pack my bags. The tension of the past few weeks drained out of me. The power of attorney had been reversed. The house wasn’t my responsibility anymore; it belonged to someone who deserved it. I hadn’t wanted any money for it, but Weston insisted. Frank had assured me we could set up a trust fund. My parents’ house was the only thing left now. I still wasn’t ready to part with that.

Weston pulled me into a hug. “Thank you for doing this for Connor. I know it must be hard for you to give this up.”

It was more of a relief, especially knowing the house was safe now. “I’m sorry you’ll have to deal with Trey.”

He laughed. “Don’t worry yourself about that. I’ve been dealing with him my entire life. It’s about time someone put him in his place.”

After I left Frank’s office, I went to my parents’ house. Despite my daily visits, I hadn’t accomplished much in way of cleaning out my childhood home. Sadness overshadowed the warmth of the familiar surroundings. Being in the house without my family hurt; it had become a mausoleum instead of a home.

I wandered through the house, lingering over familiar treasures, boxing up things I felt compelled to take with me. I could almost see my parents in the living room, cuddled up on the couch watching TV. I missed my father’s dry sense of humor and my mother’s warmth. I missed summer dinners in the backyard, Friday movie nights, camping trips in the rain. I missed the life I had before it fell apart.

Yet I realized that even if I could have it all back, it would never be the same. I was a different person now. I could no longer live in the protective cocoon of my previous existence; I had seen too much. The trauma had triggered my metamorphosis.

I stopped in the doorway to my bedroom. The black comforter went perfectly with the band posters and the framed prints of Escher and Dalí. My parents had always allowed me creative freedom. Maybe they’d believed it would be enough of an outlet for my rebellious tendencies, but it hadn’t been. My mom had argued with me over the piercings as they traveled up the shell of my ear. When I brought up the possibility of a tattoo, I got a lecture on the type of image I should want to project.

When Connor echoed their sentiments, I went out and got one anyway. When he got upset, I retaliated further by dying my hair poppy red right before a huge family event. I wasn’t allowed in the pictures, but I snuck in the back anyway.

I had always straddled the line; many of my interests were unacceptable in my social sphere. So I fostered them through the subjects I chose to study.

Until Hayden.

I crossed the room and ran my fingers over the bedspread. What would Hayden have thought of my teenage bedroom? What would my parents have thought of him? Would they have been able to see past the unconventional exterior? I wanted to believe they could.

They might have seen him as a passing phase, something to try out and eventually move on from. Maybe before the crash I would have regarded Hayden as an experiment in deviance, but I doubted it. I would still have been drawn to him. But I wouldn’t have had the courage to act on that attraction. His allure would have been overshadowed by my desire to fit into an impossible mold. My loss had made him accessible in a way he wouldn’t otherwise have been. Hayden understood my impulse for difference.

His quiet, unassuming intelligence and his unique perception of the world kept me intrigued. Beyond that, our physical connection far surpassed mere need. From the very first time, sex with Hayden had been transcendental. I’d never experienced anything like it before him.

I missed our physical connection. I missed the way he tasted, the feel of his skin, the endless lines of ink covering his body. I wanted him back—but I needed to be worthy of him first.

Moving around my old bedroom, I peeled the posters off the wall and rolled them up, threw some knickknacks I couldn’t leave behind in a box, then went downstairs to lock up. The next time I came here, it would be after I’d decided what to do with the house. With every additional piece of my past I released, I felt more capable of embracing my future.

Driving away, I resolved to do the one thing I’d avoided since my return. I stopped at a greenhouse and picked up poinsettias. They wouldn’t last long in this weather, but I wanted to leave something beautiful behind. As I pulled into Hillside Cemetery, I felt a pang of guilt for not having done this sooner. The memorial service had been horrible, not healing, which contributed to my avoiding the cemetery.

Trying to understand why the crash had taken so much from me was pointless. I’d internalized that pain, allowing it to take over my life, but I couldn’t anymore. Not if I wanted to go back to Chicago, to Hayden. It had taken returning to Arden Hills for me to finally realize that the tragedy wasn’t a punishment for my transgressions.

At the cemetery, I visited everyone: the friends I’d lost, Connor’s parents, my own. I spent a long time at my mother’s grave, telling her about Chicago. I told her how much I hated my adviser and how I wasn’t sure if I could manage his unrealistic expectations, his ever-changing demands and his unwanted interest in me. I told her about my job at Serendipity and the friends I’d made; how much she would have liked them even though they were different. And I told her about the tattoo and the artist who’d changed my world, and that I wanted to be with him, despite being afraid.

Connor I saved for last. Soft flakes began to swirl around me as I set the white poinsettia beside his gravestone. I sank down on the grass, heedless of the cold damp.

He’d been stolen from life so early. I traced his name on the stone, followed by his dates of birth and death. He was a constant in my life; I’d grown up with him. The summer before I started college, things had changed between us. He looked at me differently. Treated me differently.

Dating had been a natural progression. In the beginning we kept it quiet. The secrecy of it had been part of the draw: the sneaking around, the frantic make-out sessions when we found ourselves alone. I liked the rebellion of it all, that he was older, that his attraction to me made him reckless, and that I wielded such power over him.

In the cold, quiet of the cemetery I mourned my old life, finally allowing myself to grieve Connor, our families, and our friends in a way I hadn’t before. The guilt and pain flowed out of me in streams of tears, yet there was a peace I’d never before felt. I would always love Connor, but he was gone. It was time to let go.

About the Author

Helena Hunting lives on the outskirts of Toronto with her incredibly tolerant family and two moderately intolerant cats. She's putting her English degree to good use by writing popular fiction. She is the author of Clipped Wings, her debut novel, and Inked Armor.

Other books by this author

Cupcakes and Ink

Clipped Wings

Inked Armor

Cracks in the Armor

Connect with Helena Hunting

Facebook

Website

Twitter