THE LUCKY HEART

Copyright © 2017 by Devney Perry

All rights reserved.

ISBN-10: 0-9983583-2-0

ISBN-13: 978-0-9983583-2-1

No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations in a book review.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Editor: Elizabeth Nover, Razor Sharp Editing www.razorsharpediting.com

Cover Artwork © Sarah Hansen, Okay Creations www.okaycreations.com

Proofreader: Julie Deaton www.facebook.com/jdproofs

Formatting: Champagne Formats www.champagneformats.com

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Epilogue

Author's Note

Other Books

Acknowledgements

The Outpost

About the Author

Silas

What a fucking horrible day.

Wes’s funeral had been about as much fun as shoveling horse shit. I’d gone home to the ranch afterward and gotten straight to work, hoping it would distract me, but after three hours, I knew nothing was going to take my mind off Felicity.

Fourteen years. I hadn’t seen her in fourteen years, and today was the day she’d come back to Prescott. For Wes. She’d stayed away from her family, from me, for fourteen years, but she’d come back for Wes?

That stung.

Then on top of it all, she’d acted like an ice queen. It made the fact that she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen even harder to stomach. I just couldn’t believe the harsh and rude woman at Wes’s funeral had been my Felicity.

So here I was, standing outside her hotel room door in the freezing cold, needing to see for myself if she had really changed that much. Because if she had, then maybe I could finally let her go.

I raised my fist and banged on the door, taking out some of my frustration on its wooden face.

“Coming,” Felicity called. She must not have checked the peephole because when she opened the door, she sucked in a sharp breath.

Fuck. Why did she have to be so beautifully sad? All I wanted was to pull her into my arms. Her eyes had been covered at the funeral, hidden behind huge black sunglasses, but now I saw they were red and puffy. She’d cried for losing Wes. Had she ever cried that much over me?

Without a word, she stepped back and swung an arm out for me to come in. I stepped inside and crossed the room but didn’t sit.

“How are you?” she asked after closing the door.

“Fine. You?”

She shrugged. “I’ve had better days.”

“So since you’re in a bad place, it gives you the right to treat people like shit?” The words flew out of my mouth without thought and I regretted them the second she winced.

She took a calming breath. “I know I didn’t handle myself the right way at the funeral. I’m sorry for being rude to you and I’ll be apologizing to my family on Christmas.”

I scoffed. “Did you apologize to your mom and brother for not visiting for fourteen fucking years?”

She winced again.

Fuck. What was wrong with me? I had always tried to keep a hold on my temper where Felicity was concerned but again I was blurting out attacks.

This time, she didn’t keep that calm composure. Her spine stiffened and her lip curled. “That’s none of your business,” she snapped. “I apologize for being rude to you at the funeral, but if all you’re here to do is yell at me, get out.”

I closed the gap between us, standing right in her space and glaring down at her. Most people, men and women, would have cowered. I usually intimidated people with this glare, but not Felicity. Time hadn’t dulled her feisty spirit in the slightest. She didn’t move an inch, just glared right back.

“You’d like that,” I sneered, “wouldn’t you?”

“Like what?” she asked through gritted teeth.

“For me to leave so you can go back to pretending that avoiding this place and the people here wasn’t totally fucking selfish.” I was being a complete and total asshole. I knew it, I just couldn’t stop. All the pain I’d buried for years had bubbled up to the surface and was spewing out of my mouth.

Felicity’s eyes welled but she didn’t lose her edge. “What else? Obviously, you came here to pick a fight. To hurt me back. So, keep going. If that’s what it will take to make you feel better, then please, keep going.”

Another thing that hadn’t changed: she called me on my shit. My anger deflated and I shook my head. “It’s not making me feel better.”

“Then what will?”

Not fighting with her would make me feel better. Having her explain what had happened all those years ago would make me feel better. Hearing why she’d stayed away for so long would make me feel better.

But I didn’t tell her any of that. Instead, I crushed my mouth to hers and hugged her tight so she couldn’t push me away. Not that she tried. Her arms wrapped around my waist and she fisted my shirt in her hands.

I poured all of the pain and anger she had caused me into our kiss. She gave me all of her grief and heartache. Neither of us stopped until we were both exhausted from hot and angry sex.

While she slept on my side, I stared at the ceiling, wishing tonight had gone a whole lot differently. I wished I weren’t still drawn to her. I wished that she had come back for me, not Wes. I wished that I weren’t such a damned fool, always waiting on the sidelines, ready to pick her up when he broke her heart.

All tonight did was prove one thing.

History really does repeat itself.

Felicity

Fall. Two years later . . .

“Uh, thanks.”

“Thanks?” I asked. He said it like I’d just opened the door for him or let him cut in front of me at the bank.

“Yeah, thanks. That was, uh, nice.” Silas was buttoning up his shirt like he couldn’t get out of here fast enough.

Nice? How could he say that? It had been incredible. Phenomenal even. It ranked in my top five best sexual experiences, even beating our hookup after Wes’s funeral two years ago. Top five was not nice. And I knew that he’d enjoyed it. He couldn’t fake that level of satisfaction to save his horse’s life.

I slid out of bed and pulled the sheet around my naked body. Moments ago, I had been enjoying some post-coital relaxation. Now I was getting angry.

The last thing I wanted was for any man, especially this man, to think that I was an easy lay. Is that why he’d come over? Had he been expecting me to put out?

I certainly hadn’t planned on having sex with him tonight, but when I’d opened the door, one thing had led to another and, well, Silas Grant was hard to resist. That chiseled jaw. Those brown eyes the color of warm maple syrup. A body perfectly sculpted from honest work. What had started as an awkward hug had soon turned electric and neither one of us had been able to stop after that first kiss.

“Is that why you came over tonight? For something ‘nice’?”

Please say no.

“No,” he said, buckling his belt. My shoulders sagged for the briefest second until he kept talking. “Maybe. I don’t know. I’m not sure why I came over but it was a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Every muscle in my face tightened.

“Yeah. A mistake.”

“Then it’s a good thing you’re leaving.”

He shook his head. “There she is.”

“What does that mean?”

He sat on the bed and pulled on his brown cowboy boots. “Just surprised it took over an hour for that attitude of yours to finally show.”

My lip curled. “Get. Out.”

He stood from the bed and pulled on his baseball hat, trapping his dark blond hair beneath. Just minutes ago, I’d been running my fingers through those silky strands. Now I wanted to yank some of them out.

“Welcome home, Felicity,” he clipped before walking out the door and slamming it behind him.

I let the sheet fall from my body as I snagged a pillow from the floor. With all the force I could summon, I threw it at the closed door. My breath was coming in angry pants as I stomped to my suitcase and tugged on a sleep shirt and panties.

“That man!” I pulled my long, honey-blond hair into a ponytail.

Silas could ignite my fiery spirit like no one else. In bed, it was amazing. Elsewhere, things could get dicey. We were either perfectly in sync or at each other’s throats.

I picked up the sheet off the floor and shook it out over the bed. Then I did the same with the white down comforter. The clock on the nightstand read 12:09 a.m. I’d been in town less than twelve hours and had already managed to piss someone off.

I had hoped that by moving home I could repair some of the relationships I had broken when I’d left sixteen years ago. That I could get to know my niece and nephew better and strengthen my relationships with my family. That maybe, just maybe, Silas and I could put the past behind us and start over.

“If you wanted to start over, maybe you shouldn’t have had sex with him. Brilliant move as ever, Felicity. Next time, keep your damn clothes on.”

The empty room didn’t have a response.

Felicity’s Journey Home, as I had deemed this new chapter in my life, wasn’t just about relocating back to my small hometown of Prescott, Montana. It was about making amends. It was about setting aside my mask and revealing the real me. For too long, I had hidden behind layers of false confidence and snide comments. I had disguised my vulnerabilities and insecurities with “attitude.” It was time to do better. Be nicer.

It was time to show people that I had changed.

I wasn’t the immature girl that had left Prescott after high school. Time and age had softened my rough edges. So had the love of my best friend, Sabrina. She had always seen through my sharp exterior, and thanks to her encouragement over the last sixteen years, my forked tongue came out less and less.

This new journey was about finding the courage to let others discover the version of myself that she had always seen. The version of myself that might, for once, be able to have a healthy long-term relationship.

I let out a dry laugh. “So far, you’re off to a great start.”

I walked to the door and picked up my pillow. Pressing it against my face, I let it muffle a frustrated scream.

Why had I snapped at Silas and told him to get out? He hadn’t meant to be a jerk, it wasn’t his style. He was probably just as confused about me as I was about him and hadn’t known what to say. But instead of being honest about my feelings, I’d let my armor snap back in place and released the snark.

I tossed the pillow against the headboard before curling into a ball beneath my covers. With my nose pressed into the sheet, I inhaled a deep breath. Silas’s rich and soothing scent still lingered on the cotton.

God, that smell. I drew in a few more breaths, memorizing the new leather smell, because I doubted I’d ever have it on my sheets again.

Okay. New rule. No more sex with Silas.

In the last two years, Silas and I had hooked up each time I’d visited Prescott. First, at Wes’s funeral, then again at my brother’s wedding, and every time after that except for last summer because I’d been dating someone in Seattle.

The casual sex had worked because, after each tryst, I could run back to Washington and hide. But now that I was living here, we couldn’t continue with the hookups. Here, I couldn’t have secret sex with Silas and pretend I didn’t want more.

Decision made. “No more sex with Silas.”

And no more attitude.

The next time I saw him, I would apologize for my behavior and tell him I’d like to build a friendship. We could put tonight, and all the other nights, behind us and move forward.

As friends.

Because this crazy idea that he’d ever love me back was just that.

Crazy.

Two days later, I was riding in the back of the new Suburban my brother, Jess, had bought his wife, Gigi. Mom was riding shotgun, my baby nephew, Ben, and six-year-old niece, Rowen, were safely buckled in the middle seats, and Gigi was with me in the third row.

We were all going downtown for Prescott’s annual trick-or-treating event. Kids paraded along the sidewalks collecting candy from the local shop owners while adults scurried along after them. Everyone in the Suburban was excited.

Everyone except me.

“What’s wrong?” Gigi asked. “The hole in your jeans has grown since we picked you up.”

I tucked my fingers under my legs to stop from picking at the denim frays. “I’m a little nervous,” I admitted. “This is my first public outing. You know the gossip mill is going to be churning and I’m sure I’ll be a hot topic.”

Returning home from Seattle after a decade and a half was juicy news and I could practically hear the whispers.

I heard she got dumped and came running home to lick her wounds.

Do you think she’s still a stuck-up bitch?

I bet she moved back because Wes is dead.

This was not going to be fun.

“I wouldn’t worry,” Gigi said. “You’ve visited a lot these last couple of years. The novelty of you has worn off.”

“I hope you’re right.”

I’d spent fourteen years away from Prescott, never visiting once. But two years ago, when I’d come home for my ex-boyfriend Wes’s funeral, Jess had asked me if I’d consider moving home. It hadn’t been an easy or fast decision to abandon the life I’d built in Seattle, but it had been the right one.

Mom was getting older, my brother’s kids were growing up, and I was missing it. So after a sixteen-year absence, I was back. Once again, I could call myself a bona fide Prescott resident.

“Aunt Lissy?” Rowen called, pulling me from my thoughts. I wasn’t particularly fond of the nickname my dad had given me as a toddler, but in Roe’s singsong voice, it sounded kind of wonderful.

“Yeah?” I leaned forward so I could see her freckled nose.

“Will you watch me tonight?”

I smiled. “Sure.”

I wasn’t exactly sure why she always wanted me to watch her, but whenever I’d come to visit, she’d ask me to watch something. Her new dance moves. How good she was at coloring. Her singing on a karaoke machine. And now I’d watch her trick-or-treat.

Having never spent much time around kids, they were still a bit of a mystery but I was doing my best to get to know my niece and nephew. Jess and I had grown up without an extended family and it had been lonely. I didn’t want that for Rowen and Ben, and since I was their only aunt, I was here to participate.

Besides, Rowen was a doll and watching her was no hardship. Tonight, she was dressed up as a fairy princess, looking more and more like Gigi every day. They had the same long, brown hair and deep-blue eyes. One day she would grow to be a beautiful woman, just like her mother.

“Felicity, stop.” Gigi’s hand landed on mine. Absentmindedly, I had resumed picking at my jeans.

“Damn it,” I blurted, then caught myself as Rowen giggled. “I mean, darn it.”

Gigi smiled. “Jess cusses all the time. She’s heard ‘damn it’ before.”

“He cusses, but you don’t. I’m trying to be less like him and more like you.”

“Aww. I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” she teased.

“Ha, ha.”

Gigi and I hadn’t gotten off to a great start. My fault, not hers. The first time I’d met her had been at Wes’s funeral and I had treated her like a complete bitch. I had been distraught with grief over Wes’s death and consumed with guilt for ignoring my family. Added to that, there was the shock of seeing Silas again after so many years.

None of those were valid excuses. I had lashed out at a complete stranger, hoping that hurting someone else would dull my own pain. My behavior had been awful, but not once since then had Gigi mentioned it or held it against me. Instead, she’d welcomed me with open arms into her family. And during these last two years of visits to Prescott, she’d become more than just my sister-in-law. She was my friend.

Moving home to Prescott hadn’t been as daunting knowing that Gigi Cleary was in my corner.

“We’re here,” she said as Jess parked on Main Street. My knee started to bounce and she clamped her hand down on it again. “Stop worrying about the gossips. It will be fine.”

“We’ll see,” I muttered.

The prospect of being fresh fodder for the town’s gossips wasn’t my only source of anxiety. I was also on edge about running into Silas.

Yesterday, I’d come back to the motel from running an errand and nearly tripped out of my car at the sight of Silas’s truck. I’d figured he’d come to talk about our little romp the other night, but he hadn’t been there for me.

He’d come to visit Maisy Holt.

He had been in the office, comfortably leaning over the reception counter, laughing and smiling with her. My plan to apologize to him had been shoved to the wayside when the green-eyed monster had appeared on my shoulder. My knee-jerk reaction had been to glare at them both, then stomp into my room.

I shouldn’t have gotten jealous. Who cared if he was talking to a pretty young woman? I mean, all I wanted was friendship. Yeah, right. As it was, I now had another item to tack onto my two-page list of apologies for Silas.

I was determined to get through that list, but before I dove headfirst into the apologies, I needed more time to compose myself. I wasn’t ready to see him yet, not until I’d taken a week or two and settled into Prescott life. I might actually stand a chance at keeping my attitude in check if my life wasn’t in such a state of turmoil.

Maybe I’d get lucky and wouldn’t see him tonight.

Wishful thinking. Silas was definitely going to be here. Karma was a bitch and she wasn’t a Felicity fan.

When Jess shut off the SUV, my stomach dipped. Swallowing hard, I took a few soothing breaths while I waited for Gigi to climb out ahead of me.

You can do this. Show the town, show Silas, that you’ve changed. I would be cheerful, the smile on my face permanent. I’d laugh at any and all jokes. I wouldn’t give the town gossips any further ammunition to hold against me. And if—when—we ran into Silas, I would be pleasant.

Affirmations complete, I scooted out of the Suburban and joined my family on the sidewalk. With Roe leading the way, we set off to watch her fill her pillowcase with candy.

“Happy to be home?” Jess asked.

“Yeah. I’ll be glad when my stuff gets here next week and I can move into my rental.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay at the farmhouse?”

“I’m sure, but thanks for the offer. I like the motel and it’s only for a week. I’ve got plenty of space to work from my room. Besides, you guys have enough going on without me crowding in.”

I looked at Ben, who was perched in Jess’s arms, and smiled at his costume. Tonight, he was dressed up as a tiger, whiskers and all. How Gigi had managed to keep him still for the face paint I had no clue. Reaching out, I adjusted an ear on Ben’s costume that had turned sideways. He leaned away and shied further into his dad’s chest. Ben still wasn’t overly comfortable with me, but in time I hoped we’d grow on each other.

While Rowen looked like Gigi, Ben was a mini-Jess. The kid wasn’t quite one year old, but it was obvious that he had inherited my brother’s strong and broad frame. Jess, Ben and I all shared the same ice-blue eyes. Mom’s eyes.

“How’s Mom doing?” Ahead of us, she was helping Rowen open a mini Snickers bar.

“Good. Happy. She had an episode a few months ago but nothing since.”

Our mom, Noelle, was a loving woman but had some mental disabilities. Nothing too serious but enough that when Dad had left it had forced a six- and an eight-year-old kid to grow up really fast. We’d learned to cook and clean, how to shop for groceries and pay bills, what neighbors to call when we needed a ride to the hospital after Mom had an accident.

And for the last sixteen years, Jess had been taking care of her on his own.

“I’m sorry, Jess.” This wasn’t the best place to start making apologies, but I had to begin somewhere and I wanted my brother to be the first.

“Sorry for what?”

“For leaving you to deal with all her troubles all these years. For selfishly staying away for as long as I did. God, I didn’t even do a good job at making regular phone calls. I dumped all that responsibility on you and that wasn’t fair.”

“She’s my mom too.”

“I know, but that doesn’t make it right. I wouldn’t blame you if you resented me for abandoning you guys. I’m a horrible daughter and a rotten sister.”

He chuckled. “Dramatic much? You’re not a horrible daughter and sister, Lissy.”

“Yes, I am. I should have done more to help, but now that I’m back, I promise to make it up to you.”

“Helping others is kind of my thing. Did you forget that I’m a cop?”

“But—”

“Hey,” he interrupted, shifting Ben and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “You don’t need to feel guilty. Okay? I didn’t mind.”

I sighed. “Okay.” The guilt was still there but I wouldn’t win an argument. I’d just show him I was dedicated to helping out.

“Though, if you’re hell-bent on balancing the scales, you can start taking over my assignments on Georgia’s chore wheel.”

I elbowed his side. “Jess, I’m being serious.”

“So am I. I fucking hate Toilet Tuesday.”

“You’re making this apology too easy.” Making amends was supposed to be hard.

“There’s no apology to make, Lissy. Just glad you’re home.” He squeezed my shoulder again and then tugged on my hair, something he had done all throughout my childhood.

In return, I poked a knuckle into his ribs. He jerked and scooted away. “Does Gigi know how incredibly ticklish you are?” I asked. “Maybe I should let her know, just in case. Let’s see, if I recall, you never liked it when I pinched the back of your neck.”

At my threat, his eyes narrowed. “Don’t even think about it.”

“I’m immune to that glare, Sheriff Cleary. You might be able to intimidate everyone else in this county, but not me. Put the scowl away.”

“Might have to take back my earlier statement. I’m not so sure I like having you back,” he joked. “Especially if you’re going to team up against me with Georgia. Got enough trouble keeping up with her and Maisy. You’d think I wouldn’t be surprised by now, but fuck, some of the shit they come up with . . .” he trailed off, shaking his head.

At the mention of Maisy, my smile fell. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Maisy. I didn’t know her well enough to judge. She had been quite a bit younger than me in school, and from everything that Jess and Gigi had told me, she seemed nice.

My frown stemmed from jealousy.

She made Silas smile and laugh. I made him curse and slam doors.

“What? What’s that look about?” Jess asked.

“Oh, uh, just a mild headache. I’ll be fine.” I assumed my happy face.

He frowned, well aware that I had just lied, but dropped his interrogation when a harried father chasing Captain America and Thor came running between us.

“Look how cute they are,” Mom said, stepping to my side. Her eyes were bright and shining as she watched her grandchildren.

I looped my arm through hers. “They sure are. How are you doing, Mom?”

My mother had always been a small woman but now she felt frail and much too thin. I was going to make it a point to prepare her meals four or five times a week. Between my efforts and Gigi’s frequent dinner invites, maybe she wouldn’t need to cook for herself anymore.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” she said. “It’s been a long time.” Her voice was never loud, and long ago, I’d trained my ears to block out all other sound so I could hear her whisper.

I nodded. “Too long.”

“Oh, look! Jack and Annie!”

My anxiety skyrocketed and my feet did a stutter-step on the sidewalk. Jack and Annie Drummond. Wes’s parents. I hadn’t seen or talked to them since Wes’s funeral. At one point, they’d been like parents to me—in-laws, really—but my relationship with them had ended when I’d disappeared to Seattle.

I had no idea what Wes had told them about me over the years. They had been affectionate at Wes’s funeral but their hearts had been cloaked in grief. Now that things had settled, would they hate me for how I had treated their son? Did they know that I’d betrayed him? Did they know I was to blame for his drug habit?

I jumped when Rowen’s hand slipped into mine. Before I could object, her little body was dragging me down the sidewalk, away from Mom and straight toward the Drummonds. “Come meet my best friend, Mason,” she ordered. Standing between Jack and Annie was a cute, brown-haired boy dressed as a farmer. “Mason, this is my Aunt Lissy.”

“Um, hi, Mason.” I gave him an awkward wave then lifted my eyes. “Hi, Annie. Jack.” I tensed, hoping to get a hello but expecting the cold shoulder.

In a flash, Jack’s long arms wrapped around my back and he squished me against his chest. One second later, Annie’s short frame was pressed to my side and her smaller arms slung around my waist.

“Heard you came home,” Jack said. “We were giving you until this weekend to get settled and then we were invading.”

I smiled and relaxed against his soft fleece jacket. “Invade away.”

We stood motionless on the sidewalk for a few moments while I soaked up their affection like a sponge. With one last squeeze, Jack and Annie let me go.

“You’re coming to dinner,” Annie declared. “I’ll make your favorite.”

“I’d really like that.”

“Can I go with Rowen?” Mason asked. At Jack’s nod, Mason took off after my niece to collect more candy.

“Are you both well?” I asked.

“We’re great,” Jack said, pulling Annie into his side. “We adopted Mason last year. He’s keeping us on our toes.”

That was unexpected. My eyes widened and Annie smiled. “We’ll give you all the details at dinner.”

I nodded. “Sounds like we’ll have a lot to talk about.”

“Oh, boy do we ever,” she said. “Give me a call when you’re ready.”

“Okay.” I waved good-bye as they went to collect Mason, glad that reunion had gone so smoothly. Eventually, we’d have to have a conversation about Wes, but for now, I was relieved we’d just kept things light.

Rejoining my family, I followed Jess and Gigi as they attempted to keep up with Rowen. After an hour of meandering down the sidewalk, my niece was overloaded with candy and we were making our way back toward the SUV.

I made it. I had survived the evening and there had been no sign of Silas. Maybe Karma was warming up to me after all. “This was actually really fun,” I told Gigi honestly.

“I love Halloween.” She smiled. “And I told you not to worry.”

I smiled back. “I’m glad you were right.” Everyone tonight had been welcoming and friendly. I hadn’t heard any hushed whispers or caught any strange stares. Maybe I had been too hard on Prescott’s residents and hadn’t given them enough credit.

Then again, maybe not.

I hadn’t run into anyone that I’d gone to school with. Who knew what would happen when I saw those familiar faces? I was holding out hope that most of my classmates had forgotten my juvenile transgressions—that, or moved away.

“Oh, there’s Maisy.” Gigi waved to her friend.

My feet came to an abrupt halt as I scanned the surrounding faces. Maisy was weaving through the crowd, her bobbed hair looking almost white underneath her black beanie.

“Hi!” she said to Gigi with a hug. Her blue doe eyes landed on me for a split second before darting away to find anyone else. “Roe! I love your costume,” she said, bending at the waist to talk to my niece.

Rowen smiled and twirled around, her fairy wings swatting Maisy in the face.

“You’ve got weapons, Roe.” I smiled at Maisy as she stood. “Hi, Maisy.” I did my best to soften my face as I swallowed my jealousy.

She gave me a suspicious glance and muttered, “Hi, Felicity.”

Okay. She’s not a fan either. Great.

“Where’s Coby?” Gigi asked her.

Maisy looked over her shoulder and I followed her gaze. When my eyes landed on Silas carrying a brunette toddler with dark-brown eyes, the smile vanished from my lips. When Silas slid an arm around Maisy’s shoulders and pulled her into his side for a quick hug, I bit my lower lip to keep my mouth from falling open.

Were Silas and Maisy a couple?

They had to be. Why else would he have been visiting her at the motel? And it explained why he was with her tonight, carrying around her child. Why he’d said our night together had been a mistake.

Holy hell. My heart plummeted into my stomach.

After handing Coby over to Gigi, Silas shook Jess’s hand. “How are you guys tonight?” His eyes came to me briefly before he looked back at Jess and they started talking.

I tuned them out and focused all my energy on calming my racing heart. How could he do this to me? To her? He’d had sex with me two days ago.

“Felicity?” Mom asked, touching my elbow.

“What?” I snapped. Shock flashed across her face before she frowned.

I dropped my scowl. “Sorry.”

When I was upset, my first instinct was always to lash out. My default defense mechanism had always been to put up a wall of evil glares and sharp comments, but I didn’t want that to be me anymore. I was better than the habits of my past and the last thing I wanted was to be rude to my mom or my brother’s family and do something that I’d regret.

It was time to walk away.

I couldn’t stand here and pretend that everything was wonderful. I needed some space to come to terms with the fact that Silas Grant was not the man I’d thought he was. And this was not the place for me to deliver the verbal beating that he had coming for cheating on Maisy.

“I need to go,” I told Mom. “Can you just tell them I had a headache and decided to walk back to the motel?”

She studied my face for a moment, then nodded. My heeled boots spun around, carrying me away swiftly as they clipped against the sidewalk. My eyes barely registered my surroundings.

Silas was a cheater? I couldn’t believe it. He always touted his traditional values. He wore them like a badge. He wouldn’t play two women at the same time. Would he?

I had to be reading this situation wrong. Silas had always been the epitome of honorable. Had he changed that much?

Just the idea of him not being my Silas, the good and true man of my dreams, had my stomach churning. By the time I made it back to the motel, I was nauseous and had the headache I’d lied about. Resting on the bed with a cool washcloth pressed to my forehead, I knew one thing for certain.

Felicity’s Journey Home meant going down a long, hard road.

“Why are you calling me, Tyson?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“Hello to you too, love. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Don’t call me ‘love.’ Don’t call me period. I told you that weeks ago.”

“Come on, Felicity. Don’t be like that. We just had a stupid fight. Isn’t it time you forgave me and we worked this out?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. This man was denser than mercury.

“We will never work it out,” I said. “You fucked your assistant while we were dating. Repeatedly. And then when I found out, you had the audacity to suggest that we invite her over for a threesome.”

“I was just trying to get you to be a little more adventuresome in bed. And I only had sex with her because you were being a bitch and—”

“Yuck.” I hung up before I had to listen to another pitiful excuse. These calls were his way of blaming me for our breakup and repairing his ego. Eventually he’d get bored and stop calling, probably when he found a new woman to pursue. Whoever she was, I felt sorry for her. Tyson had undeniable charm but no moral fiber. It had taken me the better part of six months to see through his pretty façade.

Now the thought of his face made my stomach roll. The six hundred and fifty miles between him in Seattle and me in Prescott didn’t feel like enough.

It had been four days since Halloween and I had survived my first week back in Montana. It hadn’t been easy. I had spent a considerable amount of time dwelling on all things Silas and rethinking the past. It was harder than I had expected, being home. Difficult memories kept slapping me in the face and the guilt of past mistakes followed me around like a shadow.

But there was also love here.

There was family.

After my breakup with Tyson, the first person I’d called had been Mom. I’d been so mad that she didn’t have an iPhone to FaceTime, I’d gone to buy her one. But as I’d stood in line at the Apple store, realization had dawned. Phone time wasn’t good enough anymore. Infrequent visits weren’t good enough anymore. What I’d never find in Seattle was my family.

And I wanted a family.

My dad had left his behind. I’d done the same but I still had a chance to fix my mistake. Just one week in Prescott and the bonds I’d broken were starting to regrow. It would take time, there was still a long climb ahead, but I was convinced now more than ever that leaving Seattle had been the right decision.

Grabbing my keys off the motel desk, I decided to blow off work for the afternoon and go for a drive. Refamiliarizing myself with the area was just what I needed to brush off Tyson’s call.

I pulled out of the motel parking lot and turned my black Range Rover down Main Street, enjoying the charm of my hometown. Prescott was located in southwest Montana, close to Yellowstone National Park, and a lot of the town’s commerce came from tourists. Outsiders loved the quaint feel of Prescott, so business owners took care and pride in making their window displays attractive and tasteful.

Our small town had a clothing boutique, a couple of gift shops, a moderately sized sporting goods store, a few restaurants and two bars. I’d eventually miss shopping in Seattle or the city’s vast restaurant selection, but for the time being, I was content.

It only took me three minutes to cruise down Main Street, pass the community fishing pond and cross the truss bridge over the Jamison River. Then I was free, driving through the wide-open spaces like a girl in a Dixie Chicks song.

There would be no claustrophobia for me in Montana. This time of year, Seattle was almost always cloud covered. I had lived in an expensive, yet cramped downtown apartment, and between the gray skies and tall buildings, I had often felt trapped. But here, everything was open, big and blue. Even at the beginning of November, the sun shone brightly over miles and miles of golden plains. In the distance, the indigo mountains stood tall.

The rustic scenery may have been rough for some, but for me it was soothing.

It was home.

After an hour of driving nowhere, I came back to town and swung into Maple’s for coffee.

“Felicity?”

I turned toward the gasp and froze three steps away from the counter. Sitting at a small table was a former classmate, and not just any classmate, but Khloe.

Just my luck. My first run-in with a high school acquaintance was with the girl who had been on the receiving end of one too many of my nasty teenaged jokes.

I came unglued and walked to her table. I smiled and hoped that she knew it was genuine. “Hi, Khloe! It’s so nice to see you.”

“Uh, okay.” She focused intently on her coffee cup.

“I was just going to get a coffee. Could I buy you a refill? I’d love to catch up.”

“Oh, no, that’s okay. I’m sure you’re busy. I shouldn’t have said anything. I was just surprised to see you, that’s all.”

My shoulders fell as my heart sank. Felicity’s Journey Home wasn’t just about rebuilding relationships with family and friends, it was also about making amends with people I’d wronged. And I owed this woman an apology.

“Please?” I asked quietly. “I’d really like to visit.”

She shrugged but didn’t say no. I hustled to the counter to place my order before she could duck out. When I sat across from her, she slid away from the table a few inches.

I took a sip of my coffee. “Having spent so many years in Seattle, I can say with authority that Maple’s coffee is better than Starbucks.”

Khloe nodded but didn’t engage with my small talk. Her posture was rigid and she wouldn’t make eye contact. I couldn’t blame her. She had every right not to trust me and look for the first opportunity to escape.

“You look great,” I said. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

She didn’t respond.

How ironic was it that I had teased her about her looks? She was a knockout and time hadn’t done anything but make her prettier.

Her dark-brown hair hung in sleek panels past her shoulders. She wore the same black-rimmed glasses I had teased her about in high school. I had told her they made her look like a spinster when they actually made her look like a hot librarian, accenting her green eyes perfectly.

And I’d kill for her curves. I was long and lean, whereas she had an hourglass figure. Khloe’s curves had developed early and I’d once made a snide comment about how she should trade pizza for Pilates. Not my finest moment.

Damn it. I had been such a little brat. No wonder she looked like she was sitting on a bed of nails.

“I’ll just get right to the point,” I said. “Then you can be free of me. I just wanted to tell you that I’m really sorry for how I treated you in high school. There’s no excuse for my behavior. The things I said to you were horrible and I am just so, so sorry.”

Her wide eyes shot to mine. We stared at each other for a few seconds until she relaxed and looked back to the table. “Thanks,” she whispered.

I brought my coffee cup up to my lips to hide my relief. It hadn’t been easy to admit my faults and to swallow my pride, but holy hell, it had been worth it. Even if she rejected my apology, I felt better just for having made it.

Khloe surprised me by not jumping up to flee and, instead, scooting back up to the table. “Are you just here on vacation?”

“Actually, I moved back last week. It was time for me to come home. Seattle is an amazing city but it wasn’t for me anymore. I’m living out of the motel until I can get into my rental next week, but it feels good to be home. What about you? How have you been since high school?”

She gave me a sideways glance.

“What?” I asked, swiping my face. Was there foam on my lips?

“Honestly? You’re so different. Not at all the mean girl I remembered. When you moved away, I did a happy dance that I’d never have to see you again. Now you’re being nice and . . . real. It’s throwing me off.”

Was there a hole anywhere close that I could crawl into? “I’m sorry. I am completely ashamed of myself.” Did the pained expression on my face convey just how much I regretted teasing her? I hoped so.

“Thank you,” she said. “Um, can we change the subject?”

“You’ll get no objections from me.”

“Are you married?”

“Nope. You?”

She nodded. “I married Derrick Olson after college.”

I bit my bottom lip to stop a frown. Derrick had run with a rough crowd in high school and he’d had a reputation for being too physical with his girlfriends. I hadn’t known him well but he’d always given me the creeps. His stare had always been aimed at my breasts, and he’d like to invade my personal space.

Judge much, Felicity? What was my problem? I had changed since high school, so maybe Derrick had too. Maybe Khloe had seen something in him that the rest of us had missed.

“How is Derrick?” I refused to let myself be pigeonholed by past opinions.

“He’s good.”

For the next half hour, we visited and caught up on the past. She shared a few college stories with me and I told her about my job working as a consultant for a large tech firm. As we deposited our cups in the dishes bin and stepped outside, I smiled, thinking this could be the start to a new friendship. “I’d love to meet up with you again.”

“Uh, maybe.” She looked to her feet. “I don’t get out much when Derrick’s home. We just like to spend a lot of time together. He’s on a work trip today so, uh, maybe the next time he’s gone.”

Okay, weird.

If she didn’t want to have coffee with me again, she could have just been honest. She didn’t need to make up some lame excuse and blame her husband. But I didn’t hold it against her. I’d be wary of me too. One apology probably hadn’t been enough to erase all the hurt feelings I’d caused her as a kid.

“Sure, if that works best for you.” We exchanged numbers and I waved as we parted. “Call me whenever. I had fun catching up with you today.”

“Felicity?” she called before I could turn away. “I’m sorry about Wes.”

I gave her a sad smile. “Me too.” I waved again before walking to my car and climbing in. Safe behind my tinted windows, I closed my eyes and leaned back against the headrest.

Hearing Wes’s name always stung. Unfortunately, now that I was back, I needed to brace because it was bound to happen often. Long ago, Wes and I had been inseparable. Wherever he’d gone, I’d followed. People didn’t talk about Felicity Cleary without talking about Wes Drummond too.

This past week, I had been assaulted by memories of the times we had spent together. Different places in town would trigger a remembrance or a feeling, and with each came the heavy weight of guilt.

I’d only been back for a week, but it felt like I had stepped back into the past. Like my Seattle life had been encapsulated in a bubble that burst the second I’d driven into Prescott. Sixteen years had passed but the memories were as fresh as yesterday.

I ignored my heavy heart and pulled out my phone to call Mom. “Are you busy? I was going to pick up my keys to the rental and check it out. Want to join me?”

“I’d love to,” she said.

“Okay. Be there soon.”

An hour later, we had done a full walk-through of my rental house. The movers had packed up my Seattle apartment and the truck was en route to Prescott. They had a stop in Spokane along the way, but by the beginning of next week, I’d be permanently home.

“Have you called the Drummonds?” Mom asked when we got back into the car.

“Not yet.” I’d been stalling on making dinner plans with them. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see Jack and Annie. I just wanted to avoid the Drummond farm for a few more days. The memories from places in town had been hard to cope with. Visiting Wes’s house, a place where I’d spent countless hours with him, would be agonizing.

“Remember that time when I caught Wes trying to climb into your bedroom window? It wasn’t too long after you two started dating. You were what, a freshman?”

I smiled. “Yeah. He tried to pretend he was looking for Jess’s room but Jess had been out on a date.”

“He was always a schemer, that Wes. I used to worry that he’d get you into trouble, but he was always so careful with you.” She patted my shoulder. “I miss him. I bet you do too.”

Did I miss Wes? Yes. I hadn’t known the adult Wes, but at one point, the teenaged Wes had been my whole world. That was the Wes I missed, the one from early on. The Wes from before the lies and the drugs. The Wes that I never would have betrayed.

Mom sighed. “Such a sad ending.”

“Yeah.” On that, I wholeheartedly agreed with her.

I hadn’t really come to terms with Wes’s death. Instead, I had simply blocked it out. Blocking things out was easy in Seattle. Here, not so much. Would it help me come to terms with Wes’s death if I talked about him? If I spent time remembering the good times we’d once had together instead of dwelling on the mistakes?

Maybe it was time to come clean and finally admit what I had done.

“Mom, can I tell you something?” I trusted her to listen and keep my secrets safe.

But she didn’t answer.

“Mom?” Her eyes were fixed on something outside. “Mom?”

Still no response.

“Mom.” I reached out and shook her shoulder. “Mom!”

She couldn’t hear a word I said or feel my touch. I pulled the car into a parking lot and jogged around the hood to open her door. With both my hands on her shoulders and my face in hers, I shouted, “Noelle!”

Recognition finally dawned and she snapped back to reality. Her blank expression was replaced with confusion as she started looking around.

“Did you need to go into the flower shop?” she asked.

I turned and saw that I had parked in front of Prescott Floral. “Yeah,” I lied, my hands falling from her shoulders. “I was thinking we could get some nice flowers for Gigi.”

“Good idea. Let’s see if they have something cheerful.” She smiled and stepped out of the car.

I took a few deep breaths as we walked inside to calm my racing heart. It was the first time she’d gotten spacey since I had moved home. I’d forgotten how scary it was and how hard it was to shake her out of it, but at least I’d been with her and she hadn’t gotten hurt.

By the time we were done picking out a dozen pink roses, the adrenaline spike was gone.

“Are you doing okay?” I asked Mom as the clerk rang up our flowers.

She nodded. “I’m great. I can’t wait to see Rowen’s face when she sees these roses. She loves pink. And it’s been such a nice week with you at home.”

I smiled. “Good.”

Mom never remembered when her mind wandered and got lost, and it would only worry her if I told her she’d had an episode. Usually the only time she even knew one had happened was when she’d hurt herself. As a kid, I had quizzed her about them relentlessly, certain that she had just been pretending not to know what she’d been daydreaming about. But as I grew up, I’d realized that it hadn’t been daydreaming. She was sick.

Maybe it was time for Jess and me to take her in for new tests. We’d done it a long time ago but the doctors had told us that there wasn’t anything we could do. Our only options at the time had been to watch out for her and deal with the fallout.

But things were different now. With modern advancements in medicine, maybe there was something else we could do for Mom, like get her on some new miracle drug to keep her lucid.

At this point, anything was worth a shot, and now that I was home, I’d do whatever I could to make up for all our lost time.

I was digging into a carton of kung pao shrimp when a knock sounded on my door. I had no idea who would be visiting since everyone that would want to see me was at the farmhouse. I’d dropped Mom off with Jess and Gigi for dinner so I could catch up on work from playing hooky this afternoon. Maybe it was someone mistakenly at the wrong door?

Setting my food aside, I crossed the room and checked the peephole.

Not a mistaken visitor. Silas was on the other side of my door.

Shit. I hadn’t had enough time. I hadn’t found the courage for this confrontation yet, but I couldn’t turn him away. With one deep breath, I released the safety chain and opened the door. “Hi.”

“Hey.” We stared at each other for a moment and I tried to keep my breaths even.

Along with my nerves, the sight of his handsome face made my heart pound. With his hands tucked into his jeans pockets, his green sweater pulled tightly across his broad shoulders, hinting at what I knew were the sexy ripples and contours of his muscled arms and chest.

“Do you want to come in?”

“Sure.” He ducked his head and walked inside.

Silas stood six or seven inches taller than my five nine. I had dated men that were under six foot before, but there was just something about a guy that could loom over you. One of the things I loved best about the way Silas kissed me was that he had to tip his head down to mine first. It gave me a perfect view of his mesmerizing brown eyes.

Why was I thinking about kissing him? I was still mad at Silas from earlier in the week when he’d called our tryst a mistake. That same night he’d cheated on his girlfriend. Well . . . maybe. I had been dwelling on it for days, too chicken to call Gigi and just ask if he was really dating Maisy or if they were just friends.

But before I jumped right into an interrogation, I wanted to give him a chance to explain why he was here.

“Are you hungry?” I asked. “Mom’s eating at the farmhouse tonight so I ordered takeout.”

“For twelve people?”

“I couldn’t decide what I wanted and I got a bit carried away.” The TV stand was crowded with six different cartons of Chinese food, two containers of rice and a handful of fortune cookies. “Help me out,” I said, handing him a plastic fork.

I went back to my shrimp as he took the cashew chicken and sank into the upholstered guest chair in the corner.

We ate in awkward silence for a few minutes, listening to the whir of the mini fridge. We had a lot to talk about and none of the topics were particularly fun. How in the hell was I supposed to start this discussion? Luckily, I didn’t have to come up with an answer. In true Silas fashion, he cut right to the chase.

“I didn’t come here the other night expecting sex.”

I stopped swiveling and locked my eyes with his. “And tonight?”

“I came to apologize. I shouldn’t have said it was a mistake. It just threw me off and I, well, I fucked up.”

I appreciated the apology but I needed more. I needed to know if I had doomed yet another relationship.

“How exactly did you fuck up? By saying it was a mistake and pissing me off? Or by cheating on your girlfriend?”

His fork froze in midair and he stared at me for a minute before dropping it back into the white carton. “What?”

“Are you dating Maisy?” I asked quietly.

“Do you think that little of me? That I’d cheat?”

“I don’t know what to think,” I admitted. “Please. Just tell me. Are you with Maisy?”

With one hand, he rubbed the stubble on his jaw. “No. We dated for about a month last summer but it didn’t stick. She’s just a friend.”

Relief washed over me. The worry I’d had in my heart for days vanished. It was foolish of me to have doubted his character and I cursed myself for insinuating that he’d be anything but honorable.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Seems like all we’ve done these last two years is fuck and fight. We’ve got to figure out a way to be around each other now that you’re back. I don’t want to bump into you on the street and watch you run in the other direction.”

I couldn’t agree more. “We used to be friends once. Maybe we could get back to that.”

“Friends would be good.”

Silas pulled off his faded brown baseball hat and combed his fingers through his hair. It was getting a bit long and could probably use a trim, not that I’d advocate for one. When he was on top of me, my hands loved to wander through those soft strands and grip them tight. That and his sculpted ass.

Oh, lordy. Control yourself, Felicity! We had just agreed to be friends. I had made a rule. No sex with Silas. What was wrong with me?

“Are you okay?” Silas asked.

My cheeks were flushed and I was starting to sweat. “Great. This shrimp is just really spicy,” I lied.

He dug back into his food as the awkward silence descended again. While I chewed, my eyes wandered around the room so I wouldn’t stare at the man in my guest chair.

The Fan Mountain Inn had impeccably clean and stylish rooms. I had plenty of space for my abundant luggage, and the wide desk provided a more than adequate workspace. But right now, this room was much, much too small.

Silas sat by the door while I swiveled nervously at my desk chair. Between us was the bed. The same bed where we’d had sex just a week ago. Seeing him next to it wasn’t helping me push thoughts of sex aside.

“You were jealous, weren’t you? The other day when you saw me talking to Maisy in the office.”

“What?” I said, pretending to be surprised. “I wasn’t jealous.” My declaration came out in a high-pitched squeak.

Silas smirked, trying to fight back a smile, but it was pointless. He burst out laughing, filling the room with sound as his head tipped back and he let loose.

Even though I was embarrassed he’d busted me on the jealousy thing, I couldn’t keep the corners of my mouth down. Silas’s laughter was a deep rumble, a hearty sound that could warm the coldest of souls. I hadn’t heard it nearly enough lately.

The last time I remembered hearing him laugh had been at Jess and Gigi’s wedding. We’d both had too much to drink and had found ourselves in the backseat of his truck. He’d discovered the Spanx that my satin dress required and had laughed his ass off as he tried to yank them off. That seemed like eons ago.

Silas got control of his laughter and bent forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. He shook his head a few times and then lifted his eyes to mine as he smiled.

Breathtaking. He was breathtaking.

Silas’s smile transformed his face. Dimples broke across his cheeks. His eyes warmed and crinkled. Those soft lips parted, revealing his flawless white teeth.

I was a sucker for that smile and smolder. All he had to do was snap his fingers and I’d leap over the bed and crawl into his lap.

“You’re blushing, Felicity. Are you going to lie and blame it on the shrimp again?”

I shook my head and looked to my lap, embarrassed that he could read me so easily. The room went quiet as the atmosphere got heavy. The sharp contrast from moments ago sent tingles down my spine.

He was staring at me. I could feel his heated gaze, but I kept my eyes fixed firmly on my lap. If I looked up right now, I’d never be able to resist those eyes.

After an eternity, though it was probably only a few seconds, Silas let out a loud breath and stood from his chair. “Got any sweet and sour?”

Phew. “Yeah.” I stood too, going to the TV to help him find the right carton.

We resumed our meal, thankfully without another heated moment. I had resisted once. Twice would have been impossible. After the Chinese had been decimated, I escorted Silas to the door, having learned one thing for certain tonight.

Making friends was hard to do.

Silas

“Good night,” Felicity said from the doorway.

“Thanks for dinner.” I waved and headed for my truck.

Friends. The word kept ringing in my ears. She wanted to be friends. How the fuck was I going to manage that?

One look at her stunning face and my pulse would race. My hands wanted nothing more than to grab her head and pull her lips to mine. My dick had been at half-mast since the moment she crossed the Jamison County line.

I certainly didn’t have that kind of reaction to any of my other friends.

But we also couldn’t keep taking jabs at one another. I hadn’t meant to insult her the other night but my mouth just kept fucking things up. At least she always had the balls to call me on my shit. I loved that about her. If I pushed, she pushed right back.

When Felicity was around, I came alive. Her passion sparked my own. Life wasn’t dull or predictable. The mundane seemed exciting.

I loved that she felt everything deeply, the good and the bad, even though she worked hard to hide it from the world. She was a master at pushing people away to avoid getting hurt. It came so naturally to her, most of the time I wondered if she even knew she was doing it.

But she couldn’t hide from me. I’d seen her true self too many times not to want her fixed permanently in my life. And, damn it, if she wanted to be friends, then I was going to try.

We had a lot of history to overcome and maybe this idea wasn’t all bad. Maybe this was the way for us to move past all the hurt.

I’d be her friend and then press for more.

Because now that she was back in Montana, I wasn’t letting her go. I’d play it slow and steady. Put in the time. But one day she’d be mine.

Just like she was always meant to be.

Sitting in a window booth at the Prescott Café, I was finishing my third cup of coffee and powering through a romance novel.

“Hey.”

I looked up from my iPad to see Silas’s warm brown eyes looking back. It was the first time we’d seen each other since he’d shared my Chinese food a few days ago.

He wasn’t making it easy on me, this friendship thing. Not when he looked like that on a Monday morning. His black, long-sleeve T-shirt showcased his lean frame. His jeans clung to his hipbones, and I bet if I lifted up the hem of his shirt, I’d get a peek at the muscled V that disappeared beneath his waistband.

“Hi.” I dabbed the corner of my mouth for any drool. “What are you up to?”

“Meeting Jess and Beau here for breakfast. You?”

“Just loading up on coffee and calories before the moving truck gets here in a few hours.”

The bell on the door caught my attention as Jess and Beau Holt walked into the restaurant.

I’d forgotten that Maisy’s older brother, Beau, was so big. Jess and Silas were about the same height, each with broad shoulders and strong frames. Jess carried more bulky muscle, whereas Silas was slightly leaner, and neither man would ever be considered small.

Beau Holt dwarfed them both.

He had filled out considerably since high school and now reminded me of the mountains that bordered Jamison Valley. Beau was solid and unwavering. With the addition of his thick, brown beard, he looked nothing like my former classmate.

As I slid out of my booth, my jeans squeaked against the navy vinyl. “Good morning.” I gave my brother a quick hug and then smiled up at Beau. “Hi there, stranger.”

“Heard you were back.” He grinned and bent to give me a brief kiss on the cheek. “It’s been a long time.”

“It sure has. I think you’ve doubled in size,” I teased as his wide chest shook with a deep chuckle.

“Mind if we join you?” Jess asked.

“Please do.” I gestured toward the seats as I slid back into the booth.

When Silas slid into the bench seat at my side, I realized my mistake. His thigh was pressed tightly against mine. His soothing leather scent wafted my way and I found myself taking a long, deep breath. I was completely turned on.

Letting them share my booth had been a bad decision. A very, very bad decision. Clearly one carafe of coffee was not enough for me to think rationally at this time of day. There was no way I could be squished up against Silas’s side like this for an entire meal without him noticing my quickened breaths and clenched thighs.

Sexual-tension issues aside, the booths at the café could comfortably hold four people. Four normal-sized people. Not me plus three brutes.

“Maybe we should move to a table? You two look like sardines smashed together over there.” I hoped that Jess and Beau would agree. The center of the room was filled with square tables and if we switched seats, Silas and I would at least have a corner between us.

“We’re good,” Jess said.

Damn.

Silas flagged down the waitress and we all ordered the cook’s famous breakfast hash before we started chatting. “You said your movers are getting here today?”

“Yeah. Probably around ten. I already checked out of the motel so I’ll be ready when they pull in.”

“Need any help?” Jess asked.

“Nope. This crew I hired is amazing. They pack everything up for you, haul it over and then unload it too. They’ll even set up my furniture. All I will have to do is unpack the boxes.”

“Where are—” Silas was interrupted when my phone rang on the table between us. He looked down and shoved it toward me.

My lip curled and I growled at the sight of Tyson’s name. “Sorry,” I muttered before declining the call. I really needed to change his contact picture. It was an old selfie of me kissing his cheek.

“What were you saying?” I asked Silas.

“Nothing,” he clipped. His jaw was clenched and his nostrils were flaring.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jess asked him.

“Headache. I need coffee.” He grabbed the empty carafe and stomped up to the counter.

I guess he didn’t like that picture much either. Whatever. By the time Silas returned, he seemed to have found a better mood and I was able to relax again. Well, kind of relax. His leg was still firmly touching mine.

We all visited while waiting for our food and it was nice to catch up with Beau. I learned he worked for the Forest Service and was the head of Jamison Valley’s Search and Rescue team. Conversation quieted once our food arrived and we commenced shoveling.

“Want to come over for dinner tonight?” Jess asked as the waitress cleared our emptied plates.

“Thanks, but I’ve got plans. Jack and Annie invited me over.”

“You’re good with that?” he asked. He knew how hard it would be for me to set foot on the Drummond farm.

I shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out.”

“Okay. Call if you need anything. I gotta get to the station.”

“Yeah. I’ve got to get going too,” Beau said. “Good to see you, Felicity. Don’t be a stranger.”

I waved good-bye and waited for Silas to slide out too but he stayed firm at my side.

“Did you ever tell Jess about what happened?” he asked quietly.

I shook my head. “No. Did you?”

“You asked me not to.” He stood from the seat and pulled on his baseball hat. “You sure you don’t need any help moving?”

“I’m sure. Thanks, though.”

“Okay. Have a good one,” he said with a quick nod.

“Silas?” I called before he could go too far. “Thanks for not telling Jess. I know it wasn’t fair of me to ask you to keep those secrets, but I appreciate that you did.”

“You’re welcome.” Before he walked out the door, he tossed me a smile.

Hottest friend ever.

“Dinner was delicious. You’ve perfected the recipe,” I told Annie.

“Oh, thanks, Lissy. It’s so nice to have you back so I can make it again. Jack never has liked marsala sauce.”

“He’s more of the beer-batter type,” I joked and set another stack of dishes by the sink.

She laughed. “Isn’t that the truth?”

Besides complimenting her dinner, I didn’t know what else to say so I just stood against the kitchen counter and stayed quiet. Should I help load the dishwasher? Or wipe down the table? It never used to be this awkward at the Drummond farm, but then again, I’d had Wes by my side.

I’d carefully avoided mentioning his name all night, not wanting to dive into the past until we’d been reacquainted, but Jack and Annie had been nervous too, so we’d spent the majority of our meal discussing the weather.

“Um, Mason seems great.” I could only compare him to Rowen but he seemed like a nice enough little boy. And he had the cutest dimple.

“He’s a real joy,” Annie said as she rinsed a plate.

Glancing over my shoulder into the dining room, I made sure Annie and I were alone. “What’s his story?”

“That little boy had a rough start to his life.” She sighed, abandoning the dishes to hand me my glass of wine and lean against the counter too. “His mom got sent to prison so he was placed here in Prescott to live with his aunt. When he started school, his teacher noticed he was being neglected. No showers. No clothes. No food.”

“That’s awful. It’s a good thing the teacher was paying attention.”

“It sure is. Mason’s aunt was mixed up with a bad crowd. One thing led to another and Jess asked if we’d keep him here for a bit. After two days, Jack and I both knew we couldn’t let him go, so we got Mason’s mother to relinquish her rights and we adopted him.”

“It’s amazing that you’d take him in.” Jack and Annie weren’t old but they had been empty nesters for quite some time. Taking in a young boy was a huge sacrifice on their part.

“He’s a sweet boy. He deserves a chance and we can give him that.”

“Why is the mother in prison?”

“Prostitution. Drugs.” Her shoulders fell at the mention of drugs.

Wes had been Jack and Annie’s only child. He’d developed a meth addiction as a young man and never stopped using. Eventually he’d become the predominant meth producer in Jamison Valley and had been murdered by a rival drug dealer.

I stood awkwardly by Annie’s side, unsure of what to say, until she broke the silence. “Sometimes I feel like we’re getting a second chance. To do a better job with Mason than we did with Wes.”

“You can’t blame yourself for Wes’s choices.” The person to blame was me.

“I know you’re right but it’s hard to accept. He came here one night, about a month before he was . . .” She trailed off and didn’t finish her sentence, not that she needed to. The next word was “murdered.” “He was different that night. Reflective. He actually said that he was thinking about getting help.”

My chest squeezed painfully tight. A month before Wes had died was about the same time that he’d called and left me a message. Hearing his voice after fourteen years had caught me so off guard that I hadn’t called him back immediately. By the time I’d found the courage to do so, he’d been gone.

“That was the first time I’d ever heard him admit he had a problem,” Annie said. “I had my hopes up.”

I’d regretted not calling him, but until now, I hadn’t realized how much of a mistake I’d made by blowing him off. Maybe together with Jack and Annie, the three of us could have convinced Wes to go to rehab. Maybe he’d still be alive.

My throat started to burn and tears pricked my eyes. Damn it. All I’d had to do was pick up the phone.

Annie shook her head and turned back to the sink. “Thank you. It helps me to talk about him. Jack and I do sometimes but it’s different with you. You knew him better than anyone at one point.”

I just smiled, unsure of what else to say. I had known Wes. I knew that he hadn’t really wanted to become a farmer but had felt trapped by his parents’ expectations. I knew that he had mood swings worse than any person I’d ever met, but with me, he’d always tried his hardest to be a sweetheart. I knew the only times he’d treated me badly were when he’d been on drugs. And I knew exactly how he’d started doing those drugs in the first place.

Because of me.

“Enough of the sadness,” Annie said as she started loading the dishwasher again. “Tonight was about spending time with you. Tell me about your life.”

Before I could answer, Mason came bounding into the kitchen. “Do you want to see my room?”

“Um, sure.” Ten minutes later, I had been given an impressively thorough tour of Mason’s room.

“All right, kid,” Jack said from Mason’s doorway. “Time to take your shower and get ready for bed.”

“Yes!” Mason cheered and ran out of the room.

“He loves baths and showers,” Jack said. “I think it’s because he rarely had them before he came here. Some days he’ll ask if he can take two.”

“It’s really something, what you’re doing with him. He’s lucky to have found you.”

“I think we’re the lucky ones.” He smiled and followed Mason toward the bathroom.

After picking up the toys that Mason had taken out to show me, I wandered down the hallway of the Drummonds’ long rambler. Next to Mason’s room was the room that had been Wes’s.

I peeked inside and was relieved to see that Jack and Annie had taken down everything from Wes’s childhood. The room was now a guest bedroom. The only thing that remained was an old dresser that Wes had covered with stickers. On its top were a handful of small framed photos.

My fingers skimmed the stickers as I inspected the pictures. One was of Wes, Silas and Jess as young boys. The three of them were playing football in the snow. A couple of the other pictures were of them as teenagers. One was a photo that I’d taken when we’d all gone swimming at the Jamison River in high school.

A larger photo at the back was of me and Wes at my senior prom. He’d given me such grief about the prom because he’d been a couple years older and hadn’t wanted to go back to a high school dance. But he’d come despite his protests, looking as handsome as ever in his black suit and an emerald-green tie that had matched my one-shouldered dress. There hadn’t been much that Wes wouldn’t have done for me back then.

That was the problem, though, wasn’t it? He’d done too much for me.

The last picture on the dresser was one taken in this very room. Wes had tackled me onto his bed and tickled me. His light-brown eyes had sparkled as he’d looked down at my laughing face. A lock of his chestnut hair had fallen across his forehead.

The moment my hand picked up the frame, a lead weight settled in my stomach. The guilt and pain were so heavy that I stumbled backward until my knees hit the bed and I sank onto the mattress.

The night that picture had been taken was the night that everything had changed.

Fall, sixteen and a half years earlier . . .

“Andrea!” I shouted. “Give me back my camera.”

She giggled and tossed it on the bed, running out of Wes’s bedroom.

His parents were out of town at some fall farming convention, so he’d invited a few people over to hang out and drink. A couple of my girlfriends were here, along with some guys that had graduated but hadn’t gone away to college. Like Wes and Silas, they’d stayed in Prescott to work on their parents’ farms and ranches.

“Having fun?” I asked Wes.

“Yeah. You?”

I nodded. “So I have this crazy idea. I kind of want to try something wild.”

“I like wild.” He grinned and pressed his hips further into mine.

I giggled. “Down, boy. We can do that kind of wild later. I was talking about something else. Danny brought some meth to smoke and said it was really fun. I kinda wanted to try getting high. What do you think?”

“What?” He jerked back, all of his playfulness gone. “No, Lissy. You’re not doing drugs.”

“Oh, come on. It would just be this once, just to see what it’s like.”

“It’s too dangerous, darlin’. You’re not doing it.”

“Please? You’d be with me and could make sure I was safe. It will be like the first time I got drunk. You made sure nothing bad happened and held my hair back when I got sick.” I gave him my best pout and sad-puppy-dog eyes.

“Christ. Don’t look at me like that. You know I can’t say no.”

I smiled. “So that’s a yes?”

“How about this? Let me try it first. Then I’ll know what to expect. If I think it’s safe, you can try it later. Okay?”

“You hate drugs, Wes. I don’t want you to do it just for me.”

He buried his face in my neck. “It’s just this one time. I’ve seen the guys do it before and it isn’t that big of a deal.”

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “Okay. Deal. Let’s pinky promise that we’ll both just do it once.”

He lifted up and looped his pinky finger with mine. “Promise.”

Raising my head off the pillow, I brushed my lips to his.

“Love you,” he whispered.

“Love you too.”

Hours later, my pinky promise was unnecessary because I’d vowed never to do drugs.

My gentle, sweet and loving boyfriend had turned into an arrogant asshole and this party had become a nightmare.

“Stop it, Wes. You’re being a jerk!” I shouted.

We were all partying in the basement and playing darts. I had been trying to ignore Wes’s disgusting, asshat comments but this last one was over the top. He had just announced to the entire room that I didn’t have enough sex with him.

“Hey, darlin’, I’m just being honest. I’m a hot commodity around Jamison County. You don’t want some other girl moving in on your territory just because you’re being a prude.”

“Wes,” Silas said. “Too far.”

“Fuck you, Grant. Stay the fuck out of it. This is between Lissy and me. She’s my girlfriend.”

“She isn’t going to be your anything for much longer if you don’t stop being a dick. You think you’re so hot you can get any girl? Let’s see how you do after I cool you off.” I threw my glass of ice water in his face.

“Fuck!” Wes yelled.

“And for the record, I faked it last night. I’m leaving. Don’t call me tomorrow.” I poked my finger in his chest and then turned to the stairs.

The room erupted in snickers, but I ignored it all, stomping up the stairs with my fists balled tight. I had just cleared the front door when I heard Silas behind me.

“Felicity! Wait!”

I stopped running when I got to the sidewalk and realized that I was stranded. “Damn it!” I yelled into the dark night. “I don’t have a car.”

Silas reached my side and slung an arm around my shoulders. “Come on. I’ll take you home.” He led me to his big, black truck and helped me hop in.

“Can you just take me somewhere else for a while? I don’t want to go home. I’ll just have to explain everything to Mom.”

“Sure. Where did you tell her you were going tonight?”

“Andrea’s.” I turned and stared out my window, so angry I wanted to cry. “That was humiliating. How could he do that to me?”

I hated crying in front of people, but this was just Silas so I let the tears fall.

What a monumentally stupid idea. I should never have made that deal with Wes. When his eyes had turned glassy after those first few hits, I had known that it had been a mistake. That my Wes had disappeared. And then everything had just gotten worse and worse.

But at least it was only this once. He’d never break his promise and try meth again.

“Don’t cry. He’ll sober up.” Silas took my hand in his.

“He better or I’m dumping him.”

By the time we pulled off into an empty campground overlooking the river, my eyes were dry and I could take in the view. Moonlight shimmered on the rippling water. The light dusting of snow on the riverbanks was glittering. The serene setting was just what I’d needed to feel better. Somehow Silas had known the perfect place to bring me.

“Sorry,” I said. “I’m really glad you were there tonight.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I’m just glad Jess is at the academy. He would have beat the piss out of Wes for what he said to you. I was about five seconds from doing it myself.”

“Please don’t tell Jess.” I turned on the bench seat and begged. “Please, please, Silas. He’ll freak out.” Adding my brother’s temper to the mix would make everything worse. He’d go ballistic and demand I tell him the whole story. I’d never be able to lie and he’d hate me if he knew I’d been wanting to try drugs. Then he’d be livid that Wes had done it instead and then they’d get in a fight. Jess could not find out about this. “Please, Silas.”

His jaw locked tight but he gave me a short nod.

I sighed. “Thank you.”

I kicked off my shoes, pulling my knees to my chest, and pointed my eyes back to the river. We both watched it flow as country music played softly on the radio.

“I’m sorry for wrecking your night,” I said.

“You didn’t wreck my night.”

“Sure I did. Andrea was hanging all over you tonight. You totally could have scored.”

He made a sour face. “I don’t want Andrea.”

“Oh, is there somebody else?”

He blew out a long breath before muttering, “Yeah. There’s somebody else.”

“What? Who?” I was shocked.

Silas had always been one for the casual flings and I’d never seen him seriously interested in a girl. If he was actually crushing on someone, that was a major development. Maybe if I knew who this girl was, the unexpected twinge of jealousy stuck in my side would go away.

“Not telling.”

“What? You can’t do that to me. Tell me. Tell me right now.” I started shaking his shoulder.

He laughed and pushed me away. “Knock it off and maybe one day I’ll tell you.”

“Don’t make me wait. Please tell me.”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

“You really won’t tell me who this mystery girl is? Even if I crossed my heart, my fingers, my toes and my eyes, swearing not to tell a soul for the rest of my life?”

He laughed as I tried to cross everything. “You’re going to hurt yourself. No, I won’t tell you. That secret’s mine for now, Felicity.” That was his final answer.

“Okay, fine.” I pouted but knew I’d pester it out of him eventually. We went back to watching the river until a random thought popped in my head. “You know, I’ve always wondered. Why don’t you call me ‘Lissy’ like everyone else?”

“You don’t like that nickname.”

My eyes widened and my chin fell. “What? You noticed that?”

“It’s hard not to notice you.” His eyes were pointed at the river and I couldn’t quite read him.

“Oh.” I studied his profile for a moment before looking to my lap. There was something behind his tone but I wasn’t sure what to call it. I’d never heard Silas talk like that before, all gentle and soft.

We sat quietly again and I started yawning. “I’m tired.” The clock on the dash read 2:41 a.m. “Can I lay down for a while?”

“Sure.” He reached into the back and pulled out a flannel blanket. “Here you go.”

I stretched out as best I could in the cramped space and ended up with my head on his thigh. “Is this okay?” I asked, looking up into his eyes. Silas’s eyes were always so warm and smooth. Like chocolate frosting on freshly baked cake.

“Yeah. It’s okay.”

“Will you talk to me about something?”

“About what?”

I didn’t care. Anything. His voice was so pretty, all manly and deep, I’d be happy to listen as he read the phonebook. “How about the ranch?”

“The Lucky Heart?”

“Yeah. Tell me what you love about it.” I snuggled further into his space and closed my eyes as he told me ideas he had for his family’s ranch. He spoke quietly but with passion, his soothing voice echoing in the truck, easing all my worries away. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, the brush of his fingertips lifted a chunk of fallen hair from my forehead.

“Get some sleep, Lis,” he said.

I smiled.

“Lissy” I didn’t like.

“Lis” I did.

I drifted off to sleep, thinking that Silas Grant just might know me better than anyone else.

A few hours later, I woke to angry voices outside his truck. He’d driven us back to the farm.

“You fucked up.”

“I know. Fuck. I was really out of it.”

“Don’t do it again,” Silas warned Wes.

“Never. I swear. Where’s my girlfriend?”

The door opened and I propped myself up to look into Wes’s apologetic face. “I’m mad at you.”

“I’m sorry. So fucking sorry.”

The sincerity written on his face weakened my resolve not to talk to him for a week. “You were so mean to me.”

“I know. I’m really fucking sorry.” I didn’t protest as he pulled me from the truck and cradled me in his arms. With his face buried in my hair, he apologized over and over. “Forgive me?”

“Forgiven. But no more drugs. Ever, Wes. You promised.”

“Right. No more drugs,” he said and started carrying me inside the house.

I looked over his shoulder at Silas and mouthed, “Thank you.”

He jerked up his chin but didn’t say a word. His frame was locked tight and he looked furious. But there was something else too. Pain, maybe? I couldn’t quite tell.

Along with that look, a mixture of new feelings swirled in my head.

I was confused about the boy I was dating, and the man standing outside that boy’s house.

Tears flooded my eyes as I clutched the picture to my chest. The guilt was so crippling and painful, I rocked back and forth to keep from getting sick.

The promises Wes had made me that night had all been shattered. He’d gotten addicted to the high and had never stopped using. For months, he’d managed to hide it from me and his family, but then it had started to dominate his life and he hadn’t been able to keep it a secret any longer. By the time I had graduated from high school that spring, he’d become a different person.

Wes’s drug addiction had been my fault. If I had never suggested doing something wild, he never would have started using. He never would have been cooking and selling meth. He never would have been stabbed by a rival drug dealer.

He never would have died.

This would have been his house. He would have been working the farm. Jack and Annie would have grandkids by now and be traveling the world like they’d always dreamed for their retirement. Instead, their dreams had been shattered too.

A cry escaped my mouth and I slapped a hand over my lips to contain the ones that followed.

“Oh, Lissy.” Jack rushed to my side. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. “It’s okay. Let it out.”

His comfort just made the cries come faster. I didn’t deserve his pity. He had lost his son because of me and I had been a coward for years, never fessing up. He deserved to know that I was the one to blame and that he couldn’t pin it all on Wes.

“I’m so sorry, Jack.”

“Let’s not go there. Not tonight. We’ll get to that one day. Or maybe we won’t. It doesn’t matter now.”

“But it does. I—”

“Hush now.” I leaned back and looked into his eyes. They were brimming with tears. “I’ve made peace with it all, Lissy. Someday, you will too. For now, let’s just remember how much we loved Wes and leave the rest as history. But you keep that picture, okay?”

I nodded and leaned in for another hug with the frame sandwiched between us. Jack wasn’t ready to hear about the past, and if I was honest with myself, I wasn’t ready for the truth to come out. Not yet.

It would, soon enough.

“He loved you so much.”

Jack’s words only made the pain in my chest burn hotter.

“I loved him too,” I whispered. Just not enough. If I had truly loved Wes, I never would have broken his heart.

“Last box done!” I flopped back onto my bed and smiled at the ceiling. “I live here.”

The feeling of being completely unpacked was like none other. I had been diligently unpacking every night this week and was now savoring my job well done. All I had left to do was to put out my framed pictures, but I wasn’t quite ready for those yet. First, I wanted to get some more recent photos of my family.

The house I’d rented was in a nice, established neighborhood about six blocks from Main Street. I’d chosen this house because it was within walking distance to the café and downtown. It was small but still twice the size my Seattle apartment had been.

The main floor had a square kitchen, small breakfast nook and living room. Upstairs was my master suite plus a guest bedroom and bathroom. The small alcove at the top of the stairs was now my office area.

The ringing doorbell had me pushing off my bed and scurrying downstairs.

“Hey,” I greeted Jess and Gigi. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Hi!” Gigi leaned in for a hug. “We came to see if you wanted to have drinks with us tonight.” She came in and started inspecting my house. Jess bent to kiss my cheek and followed his wife inside.

“Um, I’m not really dressed for drinks.” I was wearing a pair of ratty jeans and a plain black T-shirt. My hair was up in a ponytail because I hadn’t washed it today and my makeup had long ago been rubbed away.

“You look fine for the bars around here,” Jess said.

“Please come with us,” Gigi said. “We rarely get a sitter and it’ll be months before we can all hang out without the kids again.”

“How do you say no to that face?” I asked my brother. Gigi was giving me sad eyes and a small pout.

“It’s not easy.” He pulled her into his side for a steamy kiss.

“Fine. I’ll go.” It wasn’t like I couldn’t binge-watch Gossip Girl reruns tomorrow. “Give me five to freshen up. When you two get done kissing, feel free to take the self-guided tour.”

I rushed upstairs and swiped on some mascara, eye shadow and red lipstick. Then I cuffed my jeans and pulled on some six-inch heels and my black leather motorcycle jacket. It wasn’t my usual stylish “out for drinks” attire but it would do in a pinch.

“Ready!” I said as I rounded the corner of the stairs. The smile on Gigi’s face fell. “What?” I asked and looked down at myself. Had I ripped the crotch out of my jeans on accident?

“Give us commoners a chance, will you?”

“Ha! Like you’re one to talk.” Gigi made heads turn wherever she went.

“Jesus,” Jess muttered. “You’re both beautiful. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“Oh wait! I bought a bottle of champagne to celebrate when I unpacked everything. I just unloaded the last box before you got here. You can celebrate with me.” I hustled to the fridge and pulled out the bottle.

“Let’s just drink at the bar,” Jess said.

“This will take five whole minutes and I doubt the Prescott bars will have this type of champagne.” When it came to my bubbly, I always splurged.

“I better skip the glass,” Gigi said. “I’m the designated driver.”

I rolled my eyes. “A glass of champagne is not going to impair your driving abilities.”

“That’s okay,” she said. “I’m going to pass.”

“Seriously?”

Gigi didn’t answer but instead looked to Jess, who was intently studying my ceiling.

“Okay, what’s going on? You two are acting weird.”

“Nothing,” Gigi blurted. “I just don’t want any champagne.”

“Says the woman who is never without a glass of wine in her hand.”

Gigi’s eyes darted to the floor. I looked at Jess, who was now studying his boots, then back to Gigi. The two of them were definitely hiding something.

“You’re pregnant,” I guessed.

Gigi’s eyes shot to mine and Jess threw his hands in the air. “Told you we could have just told her.”

“Well, I didn’t know she was going to try and force-feed me champagne and that she had your super sleuthing abilities,” Gigi fired back.

Jess opened his mouth to retort but I interrupted. “Before you two get into one of your cute, albeit lengthy, debates, can we get back to the pregnancy news? You’re having another baby?”

Gigi nodded as a huge smile spread across her face.

“I’m so happy for you guys!” I rushed to give her a hug and then one for my brother.

“It’s early so we’re not telling people yet,” Gigi said.

“My lips are sealed. When are you due?”

“Mid-July. We’ll get a more specific date after my doctor’s appointment next month.”

“Awesome.” I never got to hold Ben when he was a newborn or see Rowen meet her little brother. Now that I was home, I would be fully participating in all other family milestones. I had missed too much already.

“Can we get going now?” Jess asked. “Or did you two want to stand out here and plan the baby shower while our sitter charges us twenty-five fucking dollars an hour?”

Gigi gave him an exaggerated scowl and I jabbed him in the ribs with my knuckle.

“Maybe you could help babysit the kids while we’re in the hospital?” Gigi asked as we walked outside. “Rowen would love that.”

Babysitting? “Uh, sure.” Rowen I could handle. Ben? Yikes. He still looked at me like I was a stranger, and any time I got close, he’d cry and run away. I had until the summer to get him to like me. Maybe I’d start bribing him with candy and toys.

I think that was how Mom got him to cuddle with her all the time. Her pockets were always full of chocolates.

“Can I run an idea by you guys?” I asked as Gigi drove us downtown. “I want to ask Mom to move in with me.”

“Good luck,” Jess mocked. “I asked her to move for years but finally gave up when she wouldn’t budge. I tried again last year. Offered to build her a cottage out by the farmhouse but she still said no.”

“What? Why?” The old trailer where we’d grown up was practically falling apart. Mom had neglected it for so long, some of the damage was irreparable. Jess had done his best to keep it up but there wasn’t much to be done when you had such a poor foundation to build upon.

“I think she feels like it would be a burden on us,” Gigi said. “She’s already so sensitive about her episodes and I think she likes living in town.”

“Well, my place is close to downtown and she could walk. Plus, I’d be there in case something happens to her. I’m going to ask her unless you think I shouldn’t.”

“Fine with me,” Jess said. “I’ll help do whatever to get her out of that shithole.”

Our conversation about Mom was cut short when we parked in front of the Claim Jumper bar. It was one of the few buildings in Prescott I hadn’t been inside before.

The room was long and narrow with dark wood paneling. The bar ran along one side of the room and a row of tall tables along its opposite. The mirrored shelves behind the bar were crowded with liquor bottles and old Montana license plates. Other Montana paraphernalia adorned the walls between multiple flat-screen TVs, including a framed state flag, a painted saw mill blade and a bison skull decorated with feathers and turquoise beads.

The place had character. I could see myself coming down to watch Seahawks games and drink a few beers. Make new memories in a place that wasn’t already heavy with history.

“There they are,” Gigi said, pointing toward the back of the room.

I followed her finger and my heart dropped. Silas and Maisy were sitting side by side at a table. Had I known he was going to be here, I would have at least worn nicer jeans.

Following Jess and Gigi through the room, I took a few deep breaths. Seeing Silas still made my belly flutter and adding Maisy into the mix wasn’t easing my nerves. I was glad that they weren’t a couple but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of their close friendship.

“Hello.” I gave them a small wave and forced a smile.

Silas rumbled, “Hey,” but Maisy gave me a wary glance before focusing all her attention on Gigi and Jess. She must not have known that I was coming tonight either because she still wasn’t a fan. Glaring at her when she’d been talking to Silas in the motel lobby had done me no favors.

“Beer?” Jess asked and I nodded. After he came back from the bar with two beers and a vodka on the rocks—a.k.a. water—for Gigi, the group settled into conversation. Well . . . they talked. I listened.

“Did your new window shutters come in?” Gigi asked Maisy.

“No, they got delayed but Silas called them and talked them into doing rush shipping for free.”

“Bastards were going to charge her extra even though they dropped the ball.” He rested his arm across the back of her chair and I did my best to keep the smile on my face. I hated how affectionate he was with her and not me.

“Silas to the rescue,” Maisy teased, nudging him in the side with her shoulder. “Between him and Beau, I never have to make uncomfortable calls. If they think I’m even remotely being taken for a ride, they get all worked up and jump on the phone.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to make sure you have enough money to make me your—”

“—buttermilk biscuits,” Maisy finished.

Silas patted his stomach and everyone laughed. I took a huge gulp of my beer instead.

Damn, this was uncomfortable. As far as I knew, no one knew about me and Silas. They were oblivious to how much his behavior with Maisy was shredding me. I’m sure they all thought I was being a stuck-up bitch, just sitting here and not participating in the conversation. The reality was I couldn’t speak, not with jealously and emotion clogging my throat.

I wanted his arm around my chair. I wanted to be the one cooking his favorites. I wanted to be the one finishing his sentences.

Silas had said that he and Maisy had dated briefly last summer, but had they been more serious than he’d let on? They acted like a long-standing couple, not casual friends. Any outsider would take one look at our table and identify me as the fifth wheel.

Two beers later, I couldn’t take it anymore. “I think I’m going to head home. I’ve got to catch up on some work tomorrow and the last thing I need is a hangover.”

“What? No!” Gigi protested.

“You guys stay and have fun. I’m just going to walk home and enjoy the quiet night.”

I stood from my seat at the same time someone screeched “Felicity!” behind me.

My old friend Andrea Merkuso rushed my way and came right into my space for an exuberant hug. “I’m so excited to see you! It’s been ages.”

Her reaction was unexpected and it took me a moment to hug her back. Andrea and I had been close in high school but I hadn’t talked to her since graduation. She had a catty side, and right before I’d left for Seattle, we’d gotten into a spat. I was glad to see that she wasn’t still holding a grudge.

“It’s good to see you too.” Surprisingly good. Refreshing, actually. It was rare for me to see a familiar face and not feel the need to apologize for something.

“You look hot!” She stepped back and surveyed my outfit. “Like a sexy motorcycle chick.”

I laughed. “You look good too.”

Andrea was as beautiful as she’d been in our youth. She had the same long blond hair and trim figure, though her boobs had definitely been enhanced. “So, you’re back. How great! It will be just like old times.”

I smiled but didn’t comment. The last thing I wanted was for my adult life to resemble that of my adolescence.

“I’ve been meaning to track you down but wanted to wait until you moved out of our rather unfortunate motel.”

I didn’t miss her dig toward Maisy and glanced back to the table.

Maisy had shrunk into her chair and Silas’s arm was around her shoulders again. His jaw was locked tight. Gigi was glaring daggers at Andrea while Jess was staring at his beer bottle with extreme concentration.

Okay, weird.

“So are you working?” Andrea asked, stealing my attention away from the table.

I nodded. “Yes. I work as a consultant for a tech company back in Seattle.” Her eyebrows came together, so I explained, “I dig into a company’s processes and recommend where they can automate manual steps with software.”

“Sounds fancy.”

“It’s not fancy at all. Boring, actually. What about you?”

“I’m a dental hygienist for Dr. Lester.”

“Just like you always wanted to do. Good for you.”

“Thanks! I’m here with some people. Let me go get a drink and tell them where I’m at. Then I’ll come back and we can catch up. Okay?”

“Oh, I was just leaving.”

“No! Please. One more beer. Pleeeease.”

“Um . . . okay. I guess I could stay for one more beer.” I really didn’t want to stay, but if Andrea joined our table, at least I wouldn’t feel like a tagalong anymore.

She walked away and I slid back into my seat, looking up to four pairs of eyes glaring at me. My spine straightened as the tense, angry mood hit me in the face.

“What?”

“Inviting Andrea to sit with us is not okay, Lissy,” Jess said.

“Why? I haven’t seen her since high school. I’m just trying to be nice and say hello.”

“Don’t.”

My defenses snapped into place. “Seriously? Don’t be nice? Don’t talk to an old friend?”

“No, don’t talk to that one.”

“Why?” I said through gritted teeth.

“She’s a bitch to Georgia and Maisy and not welcome here. Whip out that famous lashing tongue of yours and get her the fuck out of here.”

“Jess—” Gigi said but I interrupted her.

“I’m not going to be rude just because you don’t like her. She was my friend.”

“Do yourself a favor and cut her out of your life. The sooner the better. And she’s not sitting here.”

“Look,” I said, “I don’t want Gigi and Maisy to be uncomfortable but I’m also not going to blow off Andrea when I just told her I’d stay. I’ll just move to a different table.”

“You’re sitting with us,” he insisted.

“Not anymore.”

Jess was dreaming if he thought he could dictate my actions. I stood from my chair, but before I could leave, Andrea appeared at my side.

Oh, hell.

She smiled at me and then turned to the table. “Hi, Silas,” she purred before narrowing her eyes at Maisy. When her gaze wandered over Jess and Gigi, her entire face twisted in disgust. “I can’t imagine how horrible it must be for you to have to hang out with them just because you’re related. Thank god I came here tonight so I could rescue you.”

“Watch yourself, Andrea,” I snapped. “That’s my family you’re insulting.”

My attitude locked into place. She had just proved Jess right and made me look like a dope for arguing with him. There wasn’t anything I could do to save face now, but I wouldn’t let her make it worse. Jess would get to see my lashing tongue after all.

“What?” Andrea asked, playing innocent.

“You know what. Don’t forget who you’re talking to.” I hardened my glare, daring her to keep pushing me.

“You’d actually pick them over me?”

“How is that shocking? Don’t be stupid. Think that through for one second and answer your own question.”

“I guess the rumors are true,” she sneered. “You are just as big of a bitch as you were in high school.”

That hurt but I didn’t let my expression falter. I’d expected the rumors but had foolishly hoped I could prove them wrong. Too late for that. Andrea would twist my words into something malicious, and tomorrow, the whole town would think that I had viciously attacked her.

I should walk away and let it go, I didn’t need to give her any more fuel for the fire, but I wasn’t going to.

I looked down my nose, using the three inches I had on her as intimidation. “I’ve spent years sharpening my claws. The woman I am now would rip the old me to shreds. Care to keep going and see how you stand up?”

She held my stare for a moment before crumbling under its pressure. “My friends are probably waiting for me.”

“Bye.” I dismissed her and, as her heels clicked away, spun around to grab my purse. “Happy, Brother?”

“Lissy—”

“Good night.” I walked out the door, ignoring Gigi’s call and Andrea’s glare.

I hadn’t succeeded in making any friends tonight and had shoved Andrea firmly into the enemy category. On top of it all, Silas had been front and center to witness my complete lack of self-control.

Way to go, Felicity.

One step forward, two steps back.

Silas

“Why did you do that?” Gigi scolded Jess.

“Do what?” he asked.

“Push her like that. The minute you got after her about Andrea, it was like a wall snapped up in front of her face. Can’t you see that she’s trying to let people in? Now she’s fully retreated back into her head.”

Felicity had been trying and I was glad that someone other than myself had noticed.

“Fuck,” Jess muttered and hung his head. “I’ll go talk to her.”

I jumped up from my chair. “No. Let me.”

Gigi and Maisy shared a knowing look but I ignored it along with Jess’s scowl and hustled outside.

“Felicity,” I called after her. She was walking fast but I caught up to her with a few quick strides. “Hold up.”

“I just want to go home, Silas.”

“Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” she said over her shoulder as she kept marching.

“Felicity, stop.” I grabbed her elbow. She yanked it free and picked up her pace.

Not this time, babe.

She wasn’t running from me anymore. I took two long steps and wrapped my arms around her. The smell of her flowery hair surrounded me as she struggled to get free. The more she fought, the tighter my hold became. “Lis,” I whispered into her ear, “stop.”

Her body immediately relaxed and her head fell forward.

“Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“It’s so disappointing,” she whispered.

“What is? Andrea? Who cares about her? She hasn’t changed since high school. Did you really want her as a friend?”

“No. I don’t need people like her in my life. It’s not that.”

I let her go so she could turn and face me. “Then what is it?”

“It’s me. I’m trying to fit in here and make new friends, but instead, I’m just driving that wedge deeper. I shouldn’t have gotten so mad at Jess. Maisy thinks I’m a bitch. And you . . .”

“Me what?” I stepped closer into her space.

Her hitched breath had my cock twitching. When my eyes locked with hers, I almost forgot what we were talking about. Those eyes would be my undoing. Even in the darkness I could make out their bright blue. I could go blind and still see them clear as day.

Staring into their brilliance, I willed her to open up. To be honest with me about her feelings. To give me the chance to prove to her that I was her safe place.

My frame deflated when her shield went right back up. Those eyes closed me out and she took a step back.

“Forget it,” she said. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long week and Andrea made me mad.”

I shook my head. “Uh-huh.”

“I think you and Maisy should give a relationship another shot. It seems like you’ve got something there.”

What. The. Fuck. Where had that come from?

“I told you. We’re just friends.” The only person that I didn’t want to be friends with was the infuriating, beautiful, stubborn woman in front of me.

“Maybe you just don’t want to admit your feelings for her but they’re there. It’s hard not to miss.”

I closed my eyes and clamped my teeth shut to keep from speaking. If I told her she was being a blind fool, she’d snap at me. If she snapped at me, she’d get mad at herself because sometime in the last sixteen years she’d gotten her head twisted right the fuck up.

She was trying to smother that spirit I adored. Did she think that her fiery personality was keeping people at arm’s length? I opened my eyes and my mouth to start the untwisting process but she was already backing away.

“I’ll see you, okay? Just think about what I said. Maisy seems like a nice girl.” She spun around and let those long legs and high heels carry her quickly down the sidewalk.

Should I catch her? Try and talk some sense into her?

No. It was pointless tonight. Felicity wouldn’t hear anything I had to say right now so I went back inside the bar.

“Is she okay?” Gigi asked.

“Yeah,” I lied. “She’s just pissed about Andrea.”

“Well, that put a damper on the evening,” Maisy said. “I’d probably better get going anyway. If I hurry home, I can say good night to Coby before he falls asleep.”

“We’re going to head home too,” Gigi said.

Maisy and I said our good-byes to the Clearys and walked to my truck. As she climbed into the passenger seat, I realized that she had spent more time in that spot than anyone else.

Almost two years ago, Maisy and Gigi had been kidnapped and nearly killed. In order for the women to escape, Maisy had been forced to kill the man that had taken her. But he hadn’t been just a random attacker. The man had been a doctor at the hospital, her ex-boyfriend and Coby’s father.

Ever since that night, Maisy had leaned on me. She’d told me once that I made her feel comfortable. We’d become good friends and I liked spending time with her. She was sweet and easygoing, but had Felicity been right? Was there more?

I turned and looked at Maisy, then dismissed the thought. She was great but she wasn’t right. The truck may have changed, but there was only one woman who had ever looked like she belonged in that seat.

“When Felicity came back for Wes’s funeral and was a bitch to Gigi, it didn’t make me like her much. Now that she’s back, I’ve been apprehensive, but Gigi’s right, she’s different. And the fact that she put Andrea in her place was, like, amazing.”

I nodded but didn’t agree. Felicity wasn’t all that different now than she was before. I had just known her better back then than she’d let anyone else know her.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s going on between you two?” Maisy asked.

I chuckled. “Is it that obvious?”

“Probably just to me because I’m so brilliant. And I may have seen you sneak out of her motel room before Halloween. So spill. What’s going on?”

I sighed. “There’s a lot of history there. Good and bad. Lots of gaps in between. She hurt me once, but even after that, she’s always been with me. Ever since we were kids.”

“You love her.”

There was no use denying it. Maisy would see right through a lie. “Yeah.”

“Does she know?”

I scoffed. “No, she wants to be friends.”

“Then be her friend.”

“Easy as that?”

“Yep. Easy as that. Treat her like you treat me and she’ll have no choice but to love you.”

Her words sent my heart to my stomach. Fuck. I didn’t have feelings for Maisy but did she have them for me? Had I been leading her on all this time? It had been my idea for us to try dating but I’d also been the one to break it off. Christ, I’d only kissed her twice and both times it had felt like kissing a little sister. I’d known after two weeks that we’d never work.

“Maisy, I—”

“Don’t, Silas,” she interrupted before I could apologize. “I’m not in love with you. I just love you. I’m happy for you and sad at the same time. You’ll set off to win Felicity’s heart and that will leave me without you.”

“You won’t lose me.”

She smiled. “I will, but that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

I couldn’t argue. With Felicity in my life, things would certainly change, including my friendship with Maisy.

“I’m sorry.” I pulled into the motel’s parking lot and parked by the stairs that led to her small loft above the office.

“No apologies. Go win your girl, then name your first-born daughter after me as payment for my unbelievably sage advice.”

I laughed as she hopped out of the truck. Maisy had a gift for lightening the mood.

“Bye.” She waved and walked upstairs. I waited until she was safely inside before heading home to the ranch. Halfway home, my phone rang.

Jess.

It was no surprise that he was calling. If Maisy had noticed something between me and Felicity, Jess would have too. In thirty-some years of friendship, I never could get much past him. The fact that I’d managed to hide my feelings for his sister for this long was nothing short of a miracle.

“Hello,” I answered.

“What’s going on with my sister?”

“She’s got it in her head that we’re all mad at her. She’s on some quest to reinvent herself.”

“That’s not what I meant. What’s going on with you and my sister?”

How did I answer that? I’m in love with her. She’s in love with Wes, even now that he’s gone. I’m so desperate for her I don’t even care that he’ll always have her heart. Yeah, he wasn’t getting that answer.

I blew out a deep breath. “It’s complicated, man. And I’m not going to tell you until I can work out some of that shit with her.”

“How long?” His teeth were grinding together.

I thought about it for a moment before answering. “Since the beginning.”

“And Wes?”

“He was never the right one. He just asked her first.”

“She’s finally back,” Jess said. “I don’t want something to chase her off again. I want to see her happy.”

“You and me both.”

“Fine,” he grumbled. “I’ll back off. Tell me this, though. Am I ever going to learn what happened when I was at the academy? Why my sister split the second the ink dried on her diploma, you joined the army on a whim and my other best friend became a fucking junkie drug dealer?”

Jess had asked me those questions more times than I could count. I had finally gotten so sick of his persistence that I’d broken his nose. But his answers could only come from one person: Felicity.

“I made her a promise. It’s her story to share.”

The minute I got home from the bar, I changed into my most comfortable sweats, climbed into bed, pulled the covers over my head and burrowed in deep.

Doubt filled my mind.

Why was I putting myself through so much grief? I could be back in Seattle in a day. I could just turn back and leave. Was this really the right place for me?

Yes.

This was hard, but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t see this through.

My family deserved my commitment. Silas deserved an explanation. I had only been home for two weeks and I wouldn’t let one bad night chase me away. Setbacks were bound to happen on my journey but I’d keep moving forward.

I would not run. Not again.

I was not my father.

Hank Cleary had been a coward. When I’d been six, he’d moved to Billings without much of an explanation. Jess and I theorized that he’d gotten tired of caring for Mom. Regardless, his leaving had broken our mother’s heart and made Jess the head of our house at eight years old.

I hardly remembered Hank now. He could pass me on the street and I wouldn’t recognize him. He had been forgotten. Unfortunately, the damage he’d caused wasn’t as easy to erase.

Over twenty-five years later, Mom’s heart was still broken, Jess had a compulsive need to be in charge, and I was still trying to shed my mask of indifference.

It wasn’t an easy task.

I had spent far too long learning to guard my heart. I was a master at pretending I was fine on my own. I was famous for striking back with attitude whenever I felt pain. And I had become an expert at leaving others before they could leave me.

Now that one was ironic.

Spring. Sixteen years earlier . . .

“Silas?”

“Yeah?” His voice was rough with sleep.

“Can you come get me?”

“Where are you?” he asked as clothes rustled in the background.

“At the farm. Out by the old green barn.”

“You okay?”

“No.” My chest heaved and the angry tears flowed freely now.

“Hold tight. I’ll be right there,” he said, slamming the door of his truck. “What happened?”

I took a calming breath and wiped the tears away. “Wes wanted to have a bonfire. He said it could be my pre-graduation party except he invited all of these random people and none of my friends. Then this group of guys came and they gave me the creeps.”

“Who were they?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen them before. But one of them brought some meth. And Wes . . .” I trailed off as my emotions swelled again.

“Lis,” Silas said gently, “take another breath.”

My whole body shook as I pulled in some air. “He’s been doing drugs this whole time and hiding it from me. Ever since that first night. These guys that came were his druggie friends.”

“Fuck,” Silas hissed.

Wes had been acting strange lately, distant and grouchy. I had thought it was because I’d been talking about leaving Prescott for college and he was bitter that I might actually escape. Nope. It had been because he’d been trying to hide his drug habit. “We got in this big fight and I tried to leave but he wouldn’t give me his keys.”

“Where is he?”

“Still at the bonfire. I came into the barn to call you. I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Just breathe,” Silas said. “I’m on the highway. Ten more minutes and you’re out of there.”

If Silas was ten minutes away, he was flying down the road. The Drummond farm was miles outside of Prescott in the opposite direction from the Grants’ ranch and the drive normally took half an hour.

“This is all my fault,” I whispered. Wes wasn’t completely to blame. He’d only ever tried meth because last fall I had wanted to do something wild and crazy.

“It’s not. This was his choice.”

My angry tears came back as I wished that statement were true.

Just as I heard the sound of an approaching truck, Silas said, “I’m here,” and disconnected. I wiped away the tears and hurried out the barn door, rushing straight toward the truck.

But before I could escape this horrible night, two arms banded around my stomach and hauled me backward.

“There you are,” Wes said. “Don’t hide from me.”

“Let me go.” I pushed at his arms but they didn’t budge.

“Let her go.” The headlights of Silas’s truck illuminated his tall body coming our way.

“Did you call him?” Wes asked.

“Yes, I called him! I told you I wanted to leave and you wouldn’t let me. Now let go!” I picked up my foot and kicked it backward straight into his shin.

“Fuck!” He released me to clutch his injured leg. “You fucking bitch!”

“Fuck you!” I yelled back.

Silas was on top of Wes in an instant. With one hard shove, he sent Wes flying backward and onto his ass. “You’re a fool, Drummond. You’re really going to throw away the best thing in your life to get high?”

Wes looked up and sneered. “Fuck you. You’re just trying to move in on what’s mine. Don’t think I’ve missed how you look at her.”

What? How did he look at me? My eyes traveled back and forth between them as I tried to make sense of their conversation.

“You’re probably already fucking him. Aren’t you?” Wes asked me.

“What?” I gasped. “What are you talking about?”

He pushed himself up off the ground. “Fucking me wasn’t enough so you had to start in on my friends too?”

Ouch. I didn’t have a sharp comeback for that one. His accusation hurt too much for me to keep my wit. “Wes,” I whispered, “how could you say that?”

“Whatever, Lissy. Go ahead. Leave with him. A couple of the girls by the fire were eyeing me earlier. I’ll just get what I need from one of them instead.”

Silas’s fist flew like a hammer, plowing into Wes’s jaw and knocking him out cold.

I just stood there, frozen, staring at Wes’s motionless body until Silas stepped into my line of sight.

“You okay?” he asked.

I shook my head before letting it fall against his chest. His big arms wrapped me up tight and I clutched the sides of his white T-shirt, stunned and speechless at what had just happened.

When I found the right thing to say, I pushed away from Silas and glared at the still knocked-out Wes. “We’re over.” He couldn’t hear me, but I had to say it. He’d just thrown four years together into the trash.

“Come on.” Silas grabbed my hand and pulled me to his truck, helping me inside before jogging around to the driver’s seat and climbing up. With one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding mine, he drove me off the farm.

“Do you want to go home?” he asked as we got close to Prescott.

“No. Take me anywhere but home.”

It was only eleven o’clock and Mom thought I was spending the night at Andrea’s again. I’d give her a couple more hours to fall into a deep sleep, then sneak in through my bedroom window.

Silas drove through town and into the countryside. In the distance, moonlight limned the wooden archway that marked the entrance to his ranch.

“Come on,” Silas said after he’d parked.

I hopped out of the truck and followed him alongside the barn. Its golden wood paneling must have been retouched not too long ago because every few steps, I got a whiff of the drying stain. We rounded the back corner and walked to a green door at the center of the building.

“This is where you live?” I’d assumed he was still living with his parents.

“Yeah. I’ve been slowly fixing it up. It’s not much right now but it will be someday.”

I followed him down a hallway to where the small barn apartment opened up into a wide but short space. Above us was an open wooden platform.

“Are you going to put in stairs?” The only access to the upstairs loft was by the tall blue ladder leaning against the wall.

“Yeah. They’ll go along that back wall of the living room. I’m putting in some windows up there first.”

In the middle of the living room space was a mattress and a pile of blankets sitting on the bare floor. The only furniture in the room was one old couch pointed at a TV, which rested on a stack of wooden crates.

Silas had been right. It wasn’t much but I could definitely see its potential.

“Want something to drink?” he asked.

“Water, please.”

I plopped down onto the couch while he grabbed a couple water bottles from the fridge. Next to me was a stack of scattered papers and brochures.

“What’s all this?” I asked, picking up one of the pamphlets. My eyes zeroed in on the U.S. Army logo.

“Oh, uh, just an idea.” He handed me my water and sat on the opposite end of the couch.

“The army? You’re going into the military?”

“Maybe. I’ve been thinking about it.”

“What about the ranch?” Silas had always planned on running the place and taking over for his parents. If he went into the military, what would happen here?

“Dad and I haven’t been seeing eye to eye lately. It might do me some good to get out of Prescott for a while.”

“You could go to college. You’re so smart it would probably be a breeze.”

“Nah. Sitting in a classroom isn’t for me. I like the idea of serving my country.”

“How long would you be gone?”

“I don’t know. Three or four years.”

That seemed like a lifetime. Where would I be when he came home? What if he didn’t come home at all? The idea of something happening to Silas had my stomach churning.

“Is it dangerous?” I asked.

He took a long drink before answering honestly. “Yeah. It could be but the world is pretty quiet right now. My recruiter said it would be an opportunity for me to see the world. Maybe get stationed in Europe for a year or two.”

So much was changing. I was lost trying to understand it all. I was graduating in a week. Wes was nearly unrecognizable. And now all this?

These last six months, Silas had become my closest friend. He was my confidant and advisor. With him, I didn’t have to pretend to be perfect. I didn’t have to hide when I felt scared or unsure. What would I do if he was halfway across the world? I couldn’t fathom the idea of living in Prescott without him.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I stared blankly at the TV. “I feel numb.”

“Come sit on the floor.”

“Why?”

“Trust me.”

I immediately shifted to the space between his feet, sitting cross-legged. Besides my brother, I trusted Silas more than anyone else, even Wes. Silas had always been honest with me, and whenever I needed someone to lean on, he was there.

His hands came to my shoulders and gently kneaded the knots away before moving into my hair. His fingertips delivered just the right amount of pressure to my scalp. They circled around, over and over, and with every passing second, the tension left my body.

“Holy hell. That’s amazing.” No one had ever given me a scalp massage before.

“Feel better?”

I hummed. How did he do that? Just an hour ago I thought my world was over, but now strength suffused my very bones. It was like I was drawing it from him.

We sat in silence as he finished with my hair and went back to my shoulders. His touch was relaxing but there was something else there too. My belly was full of butterflies and my skin had goose bumps. Desire and heat throbbed at my core.

Was I turned on?

Definitely.

How had I missed this? How had I blocked out this connection with Silas? Probably because I had been so worried about my relationship with Wes. Maybe because I was scared at what it would mean.

I had been mentally replaying Wes’s comments from earlier. Most of them were garbage except for the one about the way that Silas looked at me. That one was hard to dismiss.

“Silas, who’s your mystery girl?” I whispered. We hadn’t talked about her since that night by the river and he’d never told me her name.

His hands stilled. “You really don’t know?”

My heart started racing. His question was like a light switch. Everything that I had shoved into the dark corners of my mind was now glowing brightly.

Of course I knew.

It had been me for a long time.

“Now what?” I asked.

“Whatever you want.”

I pushed off the floor and stood above him. He sat wide open and vulnerable. The feelings he’d always masked, or I had ignored, were fully exposed. His brown eyes were locked with mine, full of longing. Of hope and love.

Whatever I want.

I wanted to find out if this was real, if my feelings for him were more than just friendship. I wanted him to kiss me.

I climbed onto his lap, my legs straddling his, and threaded my fingers through his hair. He sucked in a short breath right before my lips touched his. I started kissing him, gently and softly, but the moment my mouth fell open and my tongue touched his, the slow exploration became a frantic search for more.

His arms wrapped tightly around my back as he crushed me against his body. I sank further into his lap and his hardness pressed against my core. That friction, that glorious friction, ignited me like striking a match. My fingers clawed down his back, grabbing at the hem of his shirt and pulling it up.

But before I could rip it off, his mouth tore away from mine. “Lis, wait,” he panted. “Are you sure?”

One kiss and I had fallen apart. We had something here. Something more powerful than I’d ever felt before.

My forehead fell against his and I nodded. “I’m sure.”

“I don’t want this just because of what happened with Wes tonight.”

I leaned back so he could see the sincerity on my face. “It’s not. You said whatever I want, and I want this. Maybe I’ve wanted this for a lot longer than I let myself admit.”

His hands came up to smooth away the hair that had fallen into my face. “This will change everything.”

“It’s already changed,” I whispered. “And I don’t want to go back.”

I reached down and grabbed the bottom of my shirt, dragging it up slowly before whipping it off my head. Then I went back to the hem of his T-shirt, easing it up and off until it flew to the floor next to mine.

The sight of a shirtless Silas stole my breath away. My fingers traced the lines of his chest and stomach, dipping into the valleys between the muscled peaks.

“You’re stunning.” He trailed his fingers across my collarbone and down my shoulder.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” I whistled a catcall as a wide smile stretched across his face.

God, that smile.

“Kiss me,” I ordered.

His lips touched mine, then broke away, again and again until he had claimed every part of them as his. Finally, he welded his mouth with mine and let his tongue claim the rest.

His hands unclasped my bra and tossed it to the floor before his chiseled arms banded around my back and he picked me up off the couch. With my legs wrapped around his hips and my arms over his shoulders, he walked us to his makeshift bed on the floor.

He sank to his knees, gently laying me down, and covered my body with his.

Chest to chest, the power of his heart thundered against mine as he made love to me. Its rhythm set my blood on a new course, one that flowed in his direction, the right direction, with a precise pulse. Like a clockmaker setting a watch to its flawless rhythm.

Hours later, we held tight to one another as time ticked by and into a new day.

“Are you okay?” he asked. I was draped across his chest as his fingers traced patterns on my bare back.

Was I? So much had happened tonight it was hard to make sense of much. But even with all the conflicting emotions swirling in my head, I didn’t feel lost or hopeless. Tomorrow, I would face the consequences of my actions. So would Wes. But tonight, I was safe here with Silas.

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

“That’s my Lis.”

I smiled against his bare chest. He had more faith and confidence in me than I had in myself. I turned my head so I could kiss his heart, then laid my cheek back down and drifted off to sleep.

I woke to the sound of a broken heart.

“Lissy?”

Shielding my eyes from the streaming sunlight, I sat up. Wes was standing in Silas’s living room, staring at me with shock and horror. One side of his face was swollen and red from where Silas had punched him.

I pushed up from Silas’s chest and clutched the sheet to cover my breasts. Silas rolled over and snagged his jeans from the floor. As he stood to pull them up, I did my best to get off of the mattress while keeping myself covered.

“How could you?” Wes asked.

I opened my mouth to respond but stopped when I saw that he wasn’t talking to me. He was asking Silas.

“Me?” Silas said. “This isn’t on me.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Wes shouted. “How is you fucking my girlfriend my fault?”

“Do you even remember what you said to her last night?”

Wes’s hands balled into fists and the muscles in Silas’s arms flexed tight.

Any minute, these two were going to start fighting. And over what, me? The girl who’d pushed her boyfriend into drugs. The same girl who couldn’t wait to sleep with her boyfriend’s best friend until officially breaking off the relationship.

Shame washed over me.

In the light of day, I saw myself for what I really was: the cheating bitch that Wes had accused me of being.

I didn’t regret having sex with Silas, but I should have waited. It wasn’t fair of me to do that to Wes or to Silas.

“This is my fault, Wes. Not his.”

“Lis—” Silas started.

“It was wrong.” When I cut him off, his whole body winced.

I opened my mouth to explain but Wes spoke up first.

“I’ll never forgive you for this. Either of you.” He turned and walked down the hallway but before he opened the door, he swung back around. The glare aimed at me was full of hatred. “No matter what I said to you last night, I didn’t deserve this. You were the only one, Lissy. I loved you.”

Tears flooded my eyes, but before I could apologize, he slammed the door behind him.

Four years. Wes had been mine for four years. He’d been my first everything, and I had just tainted all of our wonderful memories with betrayal.

Silas’s chest pressed against my back as he held me while I cried.

“Will you take me home?” I asked when I’d run out of tears.

“Yeah.” He let me go and I hurried to get dressed.

The drive back to town wasn’t slow and steady. It was rushed and angry.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean that we were wrong. I just mean that we should have waited and—”

“It’s okay. I get it.” His jaw was clenched tight and his fingers were white-knuckled on the steering wheel.

“Do you? Because you’re driving like a mad man. Silas, I don’t regret last night. I just wish I had ended it with Wes first.”

His frame instantly relaxed and he eased off the gas. “You’re probably right.” He grabbed a hand from my lap, bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

“Now what?”

“Whatever you want.”

I knew what I had wanted last night. But now? Things were harder to make sense of. The magic of last night had been tainted.

“He’ll never let us be,” I said. “You know how he is.”

Wes was fiercely stubborn, and when hurt, he had a mean streak. The only time it had ever been aimed at me was when he’d been high. But now that he considered Silas and me his enemies, he’d be vicious.

“He’ll get over it eventually,” Silas said.

“What about the army?”

“I haven’t enlisted. I could stay.”

“I don’t want you to give that up for me. You should enlist. And I want to get out of Prescott too. Maybe live in a city for a while.”

He let go of my hand and combed it through his hair. “What are you saying, Lis?”

“I just don’t want you to regret staying here because of me.”

“I wouldn’t regret it. If you want to go away to school, live in a city, then I’ll wait. Or go with you. I don’t know. Do we really have to figure that all out right now?”

“No.” Yes.

I was graduating in a week. I wanted to start living my own life. Had I just jumped from one serious relationship to another? Was I becoming one of those pathetic girls, completely dependent on the boy in my life?

Chills traveled down my spine. No. I would not turn into my mother. I had to make it on my own. I wasn’t ready to depend on Silas, or anyone, to make me happy.

I had to make it on my own, which meant this thing with Silas couldn’t continue. I had to stop this before it hurt us both, before I couldn’t let him go. Silas could see the world. I could escape Prescott.

And I had to make it on my own.

“When did Jess get back?” Silas asked, pulling me from my thoughts as he parked in front of my house.

“Huh?” I looked up to see Jess standing outside the front door. I jumped out of the truck and rushed straight into my brother’s arms.

“Hi,” he said.

“I missed you.”

Jess had been at community college and then the police academy for the last two years and didn’t get home to visit often. This trip could not have had better timing.

“Missed you too.” He engulfed me in a tight hug. “Wes came by an hour ago looking for you. He had quite the swollen face.”

“Yeah, I know. He found me.”

“Want to tell me what’s going on?”

I shook my head and hugged him tighter.

“Welcome back,” Silas said behind me.

I released Jess so he could shake Silas’s hand. “Glad to be back.”

“How long can you stay?” I asked.

“All week. I’ll head back after your graduation ceremony. Then a couple more weeks and I’ll be back for good. Figured this week I’d get all the paperwork squared away at the station so I can get deputized and start as soon as I get home.”

“It’ll be good to have you back,” Silas told him.

“Jess?” Mom called from inside.

“Let’s catch up later this week.” Jess waved at Silas before leaving us alone.

“Call me later?” Silas asked.

I nodded. “Okay.”

“Bye.” He waved and walked back to the truck.

“Silas?” I jogged after him. He turned just in time to catch me as I ran into his arms. “Bye,” I whispered, my heart cracking at the three-letter word.

He bent to kiss the top of my head. “I’ll see you later.”

No, he wouldn’t.

For a week, I ignored every one of Silas’s calls. When he came to the high school’s graduation ceremony, I ducked out the second after I walked off the stage. Then the next day, I packed up my car and drove to Seattle.

And cried the whole trip.

Time hadn’t dulled that memory in the slightest.

My scared eighteen-year-old self had let fear drive her away from Silas. I had been so terrified of depending on him that I’d run away. Running hadn’t been the answer but I had been too young to know better. I had acted like my father, a coward, totally focused on my own feelings.

I’d never even told Silas why.

Would he want my explanation now? In the few times that we’d spent together since Wes’s funeral, he’d never asked why I had left, but even if he didn’t want to hear my excuses, the least I could do was apologize.

I hadn’t apologized to Wes for that night and now I never could.

But I wasn’t going to miss my chance to atone with Silas.

Monday. I hated Mondays. For the last ten years, I had spent all but a handful of Mondays in back-to-back conference calls, so when my phone rang over my fifteen-minute lunch break, I really didn’t want to answer it. But Gigi’s name flashed and I picked it up.

“Hello?” I shoved a potato chip in my mouth and did my best to muffle my crunching.

“Hi. Can you come to the hospital? Your mom’s here. She cut herself pretty badly.”

I shot up from my desk chair and rushed to find some shoes. “I’ll be right there.”

My pulse was racing at Mach three by the time I jogged through the ER doors. The sterile smell assaulted my nose and I gagged.

I hated this hospital. I’d spent too many days here in my youth, sitting beside Mom and watching her get treated for countless burns, cuts and sprains. By the time I was ten, I had become an expert at triaging her injuries and determining which needed emergency treatment.

“How’s Mom?” I asked Gigi. She was a nurse at Jamison Valley Hospital and was waiting for me when I reached the ER counter.

“She’ll be fine. The doctor will come down in a few and get her stitched up. Silas is in with her now. He stayed so I could come out and call you and Jess.”

“Silas?” I asked. “What’s he doing here?”

“He was at the hardware store when she got hurt. He brought her in.”

“The hardware store? How did she get cut there?”

“I’m not sure. She can’t remember much.”

I sighed. “Okay. When Jess gets here we can talk to Silas and see if he knows what happened. Which room?”

“Three. I’ll wait for Jess and then we’ll be in.”

I nodded and hurried across the shiny linoleum floor to Mom’s room. Knocking twice, I slowly pushed open the door.

Mom was propped up on the bed. Her jeans were spattered with blood and a thick white bandage was wrapped around her left forearm. Silas was sitting in a chair by her feet. His gray, long-sleeved Henley was streaked with blood too.

My heart twisted but I forced a smile. “Hi, Mom. How are you feeling?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, shaking her head.

I walked in and sat on the edge of her bed, gently holding the hand of her uninjured arm. “It’s nothing to apologize for. Accidents happen.”

She nodded but her eyes filled with water. I had always encouraged her not to feel embarrassed, but these episodes left her feeling ashamed and it would take days for her to shake this off.

“Hi,” I told Silas, squeezing Mom’s hand tighter and giving her a moment to collect herself.

“Hey.”

“Thank you,” I mouthed and he nodded back.

I wasn’t sure why he was here, I was just glad he was. Mom had always been comfortable around Silas, probably because he’d been one of Jess’s best friends for ages. That, and it was just him. He was a master at giving support and lending his strength.

We all sat quietly until Jess poked his head inside the room. “Hi, Ma.”

At the sight of her son, Mom’s entire frame relaxed into the bed. Jess had always been able to give Mom comfort that I couldn’t.

Gigi pushed Jess into the room and the doctor entered behind them. At least I assumed he was the doctor based on his charcoal scrubs and the sterile package in his hand. He looked more like a Calvin Klein underwear model. His brown hair was tied back in a man bun and he had a devilish grin.

“Hi, Noelle. I’m Dr. Faraday. Sounds like we’re going to do some stitches today.”

Mom nodded and I hopped off her bed so Jess could take my place. He held her hand and started asking questions while the doctor worked opposite him to stitch up the five-inch gash on her arm.

“Do you remember what happened?” Jess asked.

She shook her head. “I must have tripped. Or got bumped. Sorry, I don’t remember.”

“It’s okay. What were you doing at the hardware store?”

“I was trying to find a little housewarming gift for Felicity.”

“That’s sweet of you, Noelle,” Gigi said.

“Yes, thank you, Mom.” She always had the best intentions. It was a shame that following through with them had so often caused her trouble.

“Do you know what you cut yourself on?” Dr. Faraday asked. “This is a pretty nasty gash.”

Mom shook her head but Silas spoke up. “I caught a glimpse of it from behind. She fell right into the corner of a big metal shelf. One of those little hooks they hang from the holes must have caught her on the way down.”

I cringed as he spoke, picturing Mom’s skinny arms grasping to break her fall, instead snagging on the hook.

“Okay,” the doctor said. “I’m going to order you an antibiotic and some pain meds. Once that numbing agent wears off, it’s going to hurt but I think it should heal up nicely with just a small scar. You’ll be good as new in a couple weeks.” He continued on with post-care instructions and risk factors to watch for seniors. When he was done, he stood and patted her hand. “If you need anything else, Gigi can track me down.”

We all said our thanks and huddled around Mom’s bed after Dr. Faraday left the room.

“Ma, why don’t you rest for a few minutes?” Jess suggested. “Be back in a bit to take you home.”

“And I’ll come over and cook dinner tonight,” I said.

“Okay.” Her eyes left mine to find Silas. “Thank you for bringing me here. I’m so sorry.”

He bent to kiss her cheek. “No thanks needed and no apology necessary. I’m just glad that I could be there.”

We all fell in line to give her a hug before letting her close her eyes and rest in the quiet room.

“Is she getting worse?” Silas, Gigi, Jess and I were congregated in the hallway. “She had an episode a little over a week ago, that night that we brought you flowers. I don’t ever remember them coming on so often. Has it been like this for a while?”

I hated that I even had to ask. If I had been more present in her life, I would already know the answer.

“If she is, she’s not telling us. I wonder how much time she’s losing at home that she’s hiding,” Gigi said.

“Or doesn’t even fucking remember,” Jess said.

“I think we should get some new tests done,” I said. “It’s been years. Maybe there’s something more that we can do for her now.”

“Agreed,” Jess said.

“I’ll visit with Dr. Faraday,” Gigi said.

“Sure you will,” Jess muttered.

Gigi grinned and winked at me. “Jess is a little jealous of Dr. Faraday.”

“Fuck that. I’m not jealous.” He crossed his arms over his chest with a harrumph.

I couldn’t resist. “He is so pretty. I volunteer to go with you when you talk to him about Mom’s tests.”

At my side, Silas growled. His stance matched Jess’s and his nostrils flared.

I looked at Gigi and we both burst out laughing.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “You’re both far more handsome than the young doctor. No need to let your man feathers get ruffled.”

“She’s right.” Gigi grabbed Jess’s hand. “Come on, Sheriff. Let’s get your mother discharged.”

As they walked away, Gigi tugged on Jess’s hand and tipped her chin up so he could lean down for a soft kiss. If Jess thought that Gigi had eyes for any other man, he was delusional. Just like Silas would be an idiot to think that I would ever go for a young, preppy doctor. For years, I had compared every boyfriend against Silas and none of them had ever measured up. Dr. Faraday was cute but didn’t hold a candle to the man at my side.

Not that any of that mattered.

Silas and I were on the road to friendship. The way my breath hitched and heart raced when I saw him was no longer relevant.

“Thanks for being there for Mom,” I said.

“Happy to help.”

“Can I buy you a new shirt?”

“Nah. This will wash out.”

I took a deep breath. After that night at the bar, I had promised myself that I’d talk to Silas the next time I saw him and make the amends I’d been delaying. It was time to take the first step. “How about dinner? There are a few things I was hoping we could talk about.”

His eyebrows came together. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Of course. Nothing’s wrong. I just thought that since we’re trying to be friends, dinner might be nice. Not like a date. Just as friends. I’d just like to know what you’ve been doing all these years. Catch up as friends.”

Nice babbling. Could you say the word “friends” a couple more times, Felicity?

“Uh, okay,” he said. “A friendly dinner. When?”

“Wednesday night? Meet at the café around six?”

“Sounds good.” He nodded and turned to leave.

“Thanks again!” I called to his back. He kept walking but lifted a hand to wave.

My shoulders fell when he was out of sight. All weekend long I had been replaying the past, trying to figure out how best to broach an apology to Silas. Friday night at the bar had made me realize that I needed to start the healing process with him. I didn’t want more uncomfortable encounters or awkward conversations.

I didn’t know if it was the right choice or not to dredge up that ancient history, but I felt that I had to. For my own sake, if not his.

I popped back into Mom’s room for one last hug and good-bye before making my way outside. Digging through my oversized purse for car keys, I walked right into someone coming into the ER.

I gasped as she let out a pained cry. “Shit! I’m so sorry!”

Khloe Olson was stumbling backward. I reached out to try and catch her but she regained her footing on her own. When she looked up, her eyes were wide and her face ashen. One arm was clutched to her chest.

“Are you hurt?” I asked.

She nodded and walked around me inside. I turned and followed. Gigi was just walking back to the ER counter but saw us and changed direction.

“Can I help you?” she asked Khloe.

“I think I broke my arm. I was carrying a laundry basket down some stairs and tripped and fell.”

I winced. Ouch.

“Oh, no! Follow me,” Gigi said, leading the way to another private ER room.

Khloe followed and I trailed them both. Within a minute, Gigi had Khloe resting comfortably in bed with her arm propped up on a pillow.

After Gigi left to fetch Dr. Faraday, I moved to Khloe’s bedside. “Can I call Derrick for you?”

“No. Please don’t.” She talked but avoided my eyes. “He’s working and I don’t want to bother him. This was just a stupid accident.”

What woman wouldn’t want her husband with her when she was in the hospital? I eyed her suspiciously. Maybe they were having marriage troubles and she didn’t want to divulge her secrets to the woman who had tormented her in high school.

“Okay. I’d be happy to sit with you while you get fixed up. Would you mind if I stayed?” I couldn’t leave Khloe alone, not in good conscience. Not when I knew what she had in store. Some of Mom’s most painful injuries had been broken bones.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“I’m sure you would be but I can at least keep you company. My mom’s down the hall anyway. I was going to stick around while she rested,” I lied.

She shrugged and I took it as my invitation to pull up the metal guest chair and sit at her side.

Three hours later, Khloe was in a cast and leaving the emergency room.

“Can I drive you home?” I asked.

“I can make it. Thank you, though. And thank you for sitting with me.”

“You’re welcome.” I faked a smile and waved before walking outside with my foul and angry mood.

Khloe had been nearly silent as Dr. Faraday set and casted her arm. No screaming or crying. She hadn’t even winced. Either she was the toughest person on the planet or she was no stranger to pain.

The longer I’d sat by her side, the angrier I had become. Both the doctor and Gigi had offered to call her husband but she’d adamantly refused. Every time Derrick’s name had been mentioned, Khloe had shrunk further and further into the hospital bed.

And it hadn’t just been me that noticed either. Gigi’s eyes had found mine a couple of times and we’d shared a knowing look.

Something was going on in the Olson house and I was going to find out what. Khloe needed a friend and I was volunteering for the job. I’d prove to her that I wasn’t the mean girl from our childhood. It wouldn’t be easy, but the best friendships in my life had always been the ones that I’d worked hard to build.

And to keep.

“Thanks for meeting me,” I told Silas after handing my menu to our waitress at the café.

“Sure,” he said.

My fingers laced together on my lap so I couldn’t drum them on the table. For the last two days, since our encounter at the hospital, I had been mentally practicing my apology, but being prepared was doing nothing to settle my nerves.

“So, um, I’ve been thinking a lot about everything that’s happened. About us. We haven’t ever talked about it and I guess I thought maybe we should.”

He shook his head. “It’s in the past. Let’s leave it there. I see no reason to open old wounds.”

“Not even if it helps them heal?”

“Is that what you need?” he asked. “To hash it all out?”

“No, I guess not. But I want to apologize. I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”

He stared at me for a long moment before looking to the table and fidgeting with his napkin-wrapped silverware. “It took me a while to get over it, but I understand why you left.”

“You do?”

“You were eighteen and gearing up to start your life. Your boyfriend was a junkie. Stuff between us got real complicated, real fast. You got spooked. I think most people in your position would have done the same thing.”

No one had ever understood me as well as Silas. I shouldn’t have been shocked that he’d guessed at how I had been feeling back then.

“Thank you for understanding. I’ll always regret leaving the way that I did and for being too much of a coward to admit that I was scared. I should have tried to tell you that years ago, but I was too busy being stubborn and trying to prove myself in the city. I was too afraid to come back and face everyone. My apology is long overdue.”

My fears had driven me out of Prescott and kept me away. I had been terrified of coming back to Prescott. I had been scared of a confrontation with Wes. Mostly I had been scared to see that Silas had moved on with someone better. Someone that would never hurt him like I had.

Silas shook his head. “I’ve never met anyone that’s as hard on themself as you are.”

“Maybe.” I shrugged. Maybe not.

Our waitress came over with our cheeseburgers and provided a welcome end to our serious conversation.

“Tell me about your life,” I said as we ate. “What have you been doing these last sixteen years?”

Our hookups over the last couple of years hadn’t been overly chatty, so we basically had a decade and a half to catch up on. I was curious what his life had been like.

“Really? You want to know?” he asked.

“Really. Don’t friends know stuff about one another’s lives?”

“I guess friends do.”

Why did he keep doing that, drawing out the word “friend”? This truce was just as much his idea as mine, so he could be a little more positive.

“You go first,” he said.

“It hasn’t been all that eventful. I drove from here to Seattle. Found a small community college and got my degree. Started working for a software company after school and I’ve been with them ever since. This summer I decided that Seattle wasn’t for me anymore and came home.”

“That’s it, huh?”

“In a nutshell. Now enough stalling. It’s your turn.”

“I went into the army. Stayed for ten years. Came home. Picked back up with work on the ranch.”

“Ten years is a lot more than the three or four you had planned. What happened?”

“September eleventh,” he said.

Right. “Were you deployed to the Middle East?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Did three tours in Iraq.”

“Thank you for your service.”

He nodded again and went back to his meal.

“Does it bother you to talk about?”

“Not much anymore. The first couple of years back home were the worst but I worked through it. I try to keep in touch with the guys from my squad and talk to them when it gets to me.”

“I’m glad you have them.” I didn’t push for more details of his army life. If he wanted to talk to me about that time, I’d be happy to listen, but for now, I was just grateful that he had been willing to serve and that he had come home safely. “What’s new on the ranch?”

“Things at the ranch are hectic.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Gus Johnson, our hired man, fucked up his back again so he’s pretty much out of commission. I have no idea how I’m going to get all of the calving and spring work done one man down.”

“Is there anyone else around you could hire?”

“Yeah,” he huffed, “but Dad’s being picky. I get his reasoning. He’d rather find the right guy than the right-now guy, but since he’s dragging his feet, I’m probably going to end up doing it all myself.”

“I, uh, don’t know anything about ranch work, but I’d come and help you. I could do the easy jobs that no one else wants. Cleaning or whatever.”

His french fry stopped in midair. “Seriously?”

“Wipe that shocked look off your face. I could do it.”

“In your high heels?”

“You’re a comedian. Obviously, I’ll buy some boots first.”

He grinned. “Okay, city girl. I’ll put you to work.”

“Good, then it’s settled. You can have me on weekends this spring.” The second the words passed my lips I wanted to suck them back.

“I can have you on the weekends? I thought you wanted to be friends. Me having you might confuse things, don’t you think?”

My lip curled. “You just couldn’t let that one go could you?”

“Too easy.” He grabbed a fry off my plate and popped it into his mouth. “Did you lose your edge in Seattle? The Felicity I knew before would never have left me that opening.”

“I forgot how quick-witted you are,” I muttered. “I’m going to have to step it up.”

“Yeah you are.” He reached for another fry and I slid my plate across the table so he could finish them off.

Dinner may have started off heavy but I couldn’t have hoped for a better ending. Joking and teasing one another felt warmly familiar. Silas paid, despite my protests, and we walked outside into the chilly November night air.

“Thanks,” I said. “Don’t be a stranger, friend.”

“Uh-huh,” he muttered. “Bye.”

I had just turned to leave when I heard my name called from behind. I knew that voice and cringed. When I spun around, Tyson was strolling down the sidewalk.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

I blinked once, then again, hoping that when I opened my eyes, the sight of my ex-boyfriend would have vanished.

Nope. Still there.

I took a few steps to stand at Silas’s side while Tyson approached.

“Surprise, love!” He claimed me in a tight embrace.

I squirmed and pushed out of his arms. “What are you doing here?”

“I told you on the phone that we needed to talk and work this out. I thought it would be easier face-to-face. So I made a huge sacrifice and came to you just to show you that I’m willing to move past our issues.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Had Tyson always been this much of a dumbass? I had been perfectly clear that we were over. Repeatedly. I’d moved to Montana! What else could I do to get it through his thick skull?

“Well, your big sacrifice was unnecessary. I cannot believe you came all the way here from Seattle. We broke up weeks ago. There’s nothing to work out. You cheated on me. Remember? That’s a deal breaker.”

He opened his mouth to respond but stopped when none other than Andrea Merkuso waltzed into our circle.

“Oh, fuck,” I muttered. Silas’s chest started shaking with suppressed laughter.

Andrea took one look at me and her face scrunched up. “Felicity.” She glared at me before turning her gaze to Tyson. Immediately, she started preening. His eyes zeroed in on her large breasts, which were nearly escaping her V-neck sweater.

Eureka!

“Oh, Andrea! I’m so glad you’re here. Tyson just got to town for a visit and I’d love to show him around, but unfortunately, I’ve got to get home to, uh, let my dogs out. Would you mind showing him around a bit? Maybe take him over to the Silver Dollar Saloon for a drink?”

She looked him up and down again, licking her lips at the sight. “Sure,” she said. “I could do that.”

“Tyson?” His eyes snapped from Andrea’s chest to mine, then up to my face. “Would you mind if we delayed our conversation for another day? Andrea is a dear friend from high school. You’ll be in good hands with her tonight.”

A laugh escaped Silas’s mouth and he coughed to cover it up.

“Fine,” Tyson said. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“And I’ll be waiting on pins and needles until then,” I deadpanned.

When they were out of sight, I turned to Silas and smacked him in the arm. “Thanks for all your help.”

He grinned. “You had it well under control. I was just glad I got to watch.”

“I should feel guilty for setting Andrea up with a known womanizer, but I just don’t.”

“Her? I feel bad for him. She’s going to eat him alive.”

We laughed together. “I’m going to escape now before someone else attacks us on the street.”

He waved. “See you later.”

I waved back before walking to my car. The smile on my face stayed there for hours.

Silas

Friends. As much as I had hated that idea a week ago, right now it seemed to be making a whole lot of sense.

Felicity’s apology had been healing. When she’d left all those years ago, it had cut deep. But the lingering pain had disappeared when I’d looked into her eyes tonight and seen regret and sincerity.

Before dinner, I had been ready to press for more. To turn this friendship dinner into a date. But now I was going to pull back.

I was thirty-six years old and this would be my last chance to win Felicity’s heart. I couldn’t risk rushing things and fucking up my chance.

Backing off would give her time to settle into her life here. She’d have the opportunity to plant some roots and to remember that this is where she belonged.

If she wanted to work on the ranch this spring, I’d let her. We’d do this friend thing until then, because once she set foot on the Lucky Heart, I was making her mine.

“If I gave you the entire balance of my 401k, would you move here?” I asked Sabrina.

My best friend started laughing hysterically into the phone.

This had become an ongoing joke between us: me begging her to move from Seattle to Montana, her stubbornly refusing.

“Sorry, lady. Not happening. Didn’t you say that it snowed six inches last night?”

“Shit, I shouldn’t have told you that. It will melt. Winter is not eternal around here.”

“Yeah, it’ll melt in March or April, but it’s only December. I can’t live in a place where the snow sticks for four or five months in a row. Your 401k isn’t big enough to pay for the large winter wardrobe that I’d require to live in Montana.”

“I’m seriously considering finding a new best friend.”

“Uh-huh. You’re stuck with me and you like it.”

She was right. The two of us would be friends forever. When our families eventually committed us to a nursing home, we’d arrange to be roommates.

Sabrina MacKenzie and I had met by chance the first week that I’d moved to Seattle. We had both been shamelessly bribing the owner of a small apartment complex for his last open unit. When we’d figured out that he’d been scamming us both, we’d told him to fuck off and moved in together. She’d been my partner in crime ever since.

We complemented each other. My attitude hadn’t scared her away, and I had bulldozed my way into her vacant best-friend position. She called me on my shit, and because of it, I’d learned to see my attitude for what it was, a defense mechanism. I didn’t need that defense with Sabrina. She saw me for me, and because she’d always have my back, I had found the courage to come home.

If only I could convince her to move to Montana. These phone calls to keep apprised of each other’s lives weren’t enough.

“Working on any cool stories?” I asked.

She was an investigative reporter for The Seattle Times. Her tendency to dig deep had gotten her into more than one dangerous situation in the past but she’d always come out on top. Still, I worried about her pissing off the wrong people one of these days.

“I’ve got something in the works but it’s too early to talk about. How’s work going for you?” she asked.

“Yuck. Next subject please.”

“How is your expedition to apologize to everyone in Montana?”

I rolled my eyes. Like Silas, Sabrina thought I was being overly self-critical. “It’s going fine.”

“What’s happening with that chick from high school? Any progress on finding out what’s going on with her?”

“Khloe. And no, not since I talked to you after Thanksgiving. I called her twice more this week but she didn’t answer.”

“Don’t give up,” Sabrina said. “It might take time for her to trust and confide in you. Besides, you never know. Maybe she really is just accident-prone.”

“She had a black eye two weeks after she broke her arm. My mother is accident-prone and has never had two injuries like that back to back. Something isn’t right.”

Thanksgiving morning, I had run into Khloe at the grocery store. Literally. My cart had slammed right into hers as we’d both rounded the same corner. She had been wearing huge sunglasses but they hadn’t covered up all the purple and blue around her eye and cheek. When I’d asked her what had happened, she’d ignored me and run off in the opposite direction.

“I bet it’s her husband,” Sabrina said. “You said it yourself, he used to beat up his girlfriends in high school.”

“I’m trying not to judge but I have a feeling you’re right.”

“Speaking of injured women, how is your mom doing?”

“Good. I took her into the hospital this week to get her stitches out and we scheduled new tests for the beginning of January. Now we just have to hope there’s something more we can do for her.”

“Any progress on getting her to move in with you?”

“Nope.” Twice I had asked Mom to consider coming to live with me but she had declined my offer without explanation. It baffled me that she was so unwilling to leave that trailer park.

“Has Terrible Tyson called you lately?” she asked.

I smiled. “Not once.” My matchmaking scheme had worked. Tyson and Andrea had become a new item, and rumor had it, she was currently on an extended vacation in Seattle. If Andrea ended up leaving Prescott, Gigi had promised to throw me a parade.

“And Sexy Silas?”

“No nicknames. You haven’t even met him. How do you know he’s sexy?”

“Because you want him, which means he’s sexy.”

“He’s just a friend.”

“Don’t forget who you’re talking to, Felicity Cleary. I can read right through all your friend bullshit. You want more.”

“Maybe,” I sighed. “I don’t know. When I first got back, I thought maybe we could be more but the more time goes by, the more I think there’s too much for us to overcome. I don’t know if we can even manage friendship. A relationship feels . . . impossible.”

It had been three weeks since my dinner with Silas at the café and I hadn’t seen or heard from him since. We had ended the night on such a fun and positive note, I’d been sure that we were making progress. Apparently, I’d been wrong.

“Don’t give up,” Sabrina said.

“Hope at this point would be silly and I’m done making a fool of myself over men. Can we drop this? It’s bumming me out.”

“Fine. What else?” she asked. “I need more. I miss you desperately and these phone calls are barely cutting it.”

“Sorry, that’s all I have to report. And I miss you too. Promise to come visit me soon?”

“As soon as the dastardly snow and ice disappear, I’ll be there.”

“Okay,” I sighed. “Call me next week?”

“It’s a date. Love you, lady.”

“Right back atcha.” I made a kiss-kiss sound and hung up.

Standing from my cozy espresso leather sectional in the living room, I walked to one of the large windows that overlooked my small front yard. The snow we’d gotten last night had blanketed everything and I’d forgotten how peaceful and dreamlike the winters here could be.

“Get to work, Felicity,” I told myself.

It was Saturday and I had planned on catching up on some overdue tasks. Instead, I’d been procrastinating. Work wasn’t giving me the satisfaction it used to. The excitement I used to find from the fast-paced, crazed environment now just felt stressful, which made the hellish hours I’d been putting in miserable.

Screw it. There was no way I was going to work today so I bundled up and went outside to shovel snow.

Thirty minutes later, I was halfway done with my own driveway and working my way up my seventy-three-year-old neighbor’s.

“Ugh,” I grunted as I heaved a large scoop off Mrs. Porter’s driveway. “Damn, that’s heavy.” I stood and wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead.

It was below freezing, but my entire body was sticky and the hair under my hat was matted. I rested for a moment, taking a deep breath of the cold, dry air.

“Hey,” a deep voice said behind me.

“Ahh!” I jumped and screamed. The snow in my shovel went flying through the air, coming right back down on my head.

Silas started chuckling as I spun around and glared. “Give a girl some warning, would you?” I bent down and picked up a handful of snow. Balling it, I threw it at his face but he dodged my shot.

“Where have you been?” I snapped.

“Working. Why? Did you miss me?”

Yes. “No.”

He smirked. “Sure you didn’t.”

“Whatever. What are you doing here?”

“Came to take you to a party. The Slaters are having a small gathering to celebrate the opening of Nick’s new garage.”

I frowned. “I’m not going to crash a party. I wasn’t invited.”

“It’s not crashing when you’re with me because I was invited.”

“Well, I’m disgusting. I can’t go looking like this and I’m not done shoveling yet.”

He stepped closer. “Just go with it. I’ll finish this.”

I held my breath as he took the shovel from my hands. When his body was that close to mine, I had trouble remembering our relationship was platonic. At this very moment, all I wanted was to invite him inside to share my shower. I imagined his big hands soaping me up, his strong fingers shampooing my hair and his chiseled torso glistening with water droplets.

“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling me out of my fantasy.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Just hot from the shoveling,” I lied. “I’ll be ready in a bit. Just come on in and make yourself at home.”

He nodded and I darted around him, glad to put some distance between us. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering with abandon just because he had come over. I had to get myself under control. I couldn’t keep having these sexual thoughts about Silas. It was just begging for trouble.

I had always initiated sex with Silas. He’d never once made the first move. What would happen to my heart if I made a move and he didn’t return it? Staying friends was safer. Besides, he didn’t seem to be affected by me like I was him, so I had to push those desires aside.

Good luck with that.

An hour later, the shoveling had been done and I was ready for the party.

“Sorry,” I said. “I went as fast as I could.” My hair had been washed and dried and my makeup was heavier than I wore during the day. I had changed into jeans, knee-high black boots and a simple black cashmere sweater. “What have you been up to?” I asked as we drove through town in his large black truck.

“I’ve been crazy busy at the ranch. Dad wants to tune up all of our equipment this winter so I’ve become a grease monkey. On top of that, Beau and I have been spending our nights at the motel helping Maisy convert one of her rooms into a little apartment. We added a kitchenette and washer-dryer. It’s been a pain in the ass but we finally finished yesterday.”

I tried to mask my jealousy with a fake smile. “It’s nice of you to help her out. That will make a good addition to the motel.”

I’d gotten nothing but radio-silence for three weeks, but of course he’d made time to see Maisy. My jealousy was ridiculous. He was just doing something nice for her, but still, I was green.

“Felicity.” His tone was full of reproach.

“What?”

“This idea you have in your head about me and Maisy being more than friends? It’s crazy.”

I really wanted to believe him. “Tell me more about this party.”

“Felicity,” he said again.

“I get it.” Lie. “You’re just friends.” So are we. “The party?”

He sighed and didn’t push me further. “Nick and Emmeline Slater opened up a garage a couple months ago. Nick’s a killer mechanic. He used to run the fire station but quit to open Slater’s Station. Have you met them yet?”

“No, but I’ve heard of them. Gigi told me a story awhile back. Something about them being married but not seeing one another for nine years. Is that right?”

“Yeah. They got married young, split, then randomly both landed in Prescott. This spring they went through some bad shit but things are good for them now. They’re having a little boy in March or April. I can’t remember exactly when.”

“What was the ‘bad shit’ that happened last spring?”

“A motorcycle gang tried to kidnap her and then her dad’s fiancée tried to kill her.”

“Come on.” I laughed. “Tell me the truth. What happened?”

“I’m completely serious. It was fucked up.”

My mouth fell open. “Holy hell,” I muttered. “Maybe I need to dig out my stun gun.”

Silas chucked—even though I hadn’t been joking—as he pulled into a large parking lot next to a huge, maroon steel building. I hopped out and followed him inside, passing through a nice office and into a big, open garage. Two overhead doors fronted the building, another at the back. In the middle of the concrete floor were three hydraulic car lifts. Tool benches, drawers and shelves lined the walls.

It looked like the majority of the party guests had already arrived and were congregated by a refrigerator and a long table full of salads and hot dogs. I smiled, relieved to see mostly familiar faces. Gigi rushed over for a hug while Jess shook Silas’s hand.

“Hi!” Gigi said. “Come meet everyone.” She pulled me right into the middle of the group and started making introductions.

“Nick and Emmeline Slater, meet my sister-in-law, Felicity Cleary.”

“I’m so glad you could come,” Emmeline said. “We’ve all been dying to meet you.” Emmeline was a beautiful woman with long auburn hair. She had to be at least six months pregnant because her belly took up the majority of her small frame.

“Thank you for having me. This is quite the place,” I said, looking around the room again. A classic Chevrolet Chevelle was on the far side of the room. “Cool car.”

“Thanks,” Nick said, extending his hand. “It will look better when we get it all shined up and repainted. Glad to finally meet you.” Nick was handsome with a thick brown beard. He wasn’t quite as tall as Silas but had the same athletic build.

“Ooh,” Emmeline gasped. Our crowd silenced and looked at her with concern. She smiled and waved us off. “Just a strong kick. He does that when I’m hungry.”

Nick immediately rushed to get her a plate of food and settle her in a chair. The way he hovered over his wife, making sure she was comfortable at all times, was adorable.

I didn’t know if I’d ever get a chance to have children, but if I did, I wished for a man who treasured me and his unborn child that much. I never wanted to worry that I’d come home one day to find my husband and the father of my children had decided that living life with us was just too much of a hassle. Thanks for that, Dad.

“Do you know Milo Philips?” Gigi asked, pulling me away from my thoughts.

I nodded. “Good to see you again, Milo.”

Seeing the burn scars that lingered along Milo’s jaw and forehead made my heart heavy. Those scars were from an explosion that Wes had caused. It had permanently marked Milo’s skin and had nearly cost Jess his life. Jess and Milo were both healthy and happy, but if Wes hadn’t been into drugs, they wouldn’t have been injured in the first place.

Another apology. Wes had wreaked havoc all because I’d asked him to try meth.

“And you know all of the Holts,” Gigi said.

I smiled and waved to Beau, Maisy and their younger brother, Michael. It was times like this that I realized my sixteen-year absence had been much too long. The last time I’d seen Michael Holt, he’d been in grade school. Everywhere Beau had gone, little Michael had followed. Now he was a full-grown man and the newly appointed fire chief.

“Aunt Lissy!” Rowen screeched. She had been running around the room and finally spotted me.

I bent down and touched her freckled nose. “Hi, Roe. Having fun?”

She smiled. “Want to watch me eat a hot dog?”

“I’d love to. Where’s Ben?” I’d been carrying around a little car in my purse to use in my pursuit of his affection. It was working. He’d finally started warming up to me.

Rowen turned and pointed to where Maisy’s son and Ben were hiding behind a box, playing on the floor. In just a couple short weeks, my nephew would be turning one and I was looking forward to attending my first birthday party at the farmhouse. Jess and Mom had both warned me that Gigi had a tendency to go over the top and I couldn’t wait to see it firsthand. I was done missing family parties.

An hour later, our crew had eaten and the natural divide happened; the men huddled to discuss cars and sports while the women visited about the men and kids. The longer the evening progressed, the more out of place I began to feel.

I wanted to fit in with these women but I didn’t know how. I didn’t have much in common with them so I kept quiet and stoically smiled, hoping that this would be easier in time.

At a break in the conversation, I escaped to refill my wineglass.

“Hi, Felicity.” Maisy came up to my side.

“Hi. How are you?” This was the first time she’d ever approached me without apprehension, which, in turn, made me suspicious.

“Good. Are you all settled into your new house?”

“Uh, I am. It feels nice to call Prescott home again.” Small talk was not my forte and I racked my brain for something, anything, to talk about so we wouldn’t land on the weather. “Silas said you remodeled one of your rooms?”

She looked over my shoulder to the men. Silas was laughing with Jess, and my breath hitched at the sight of his gorgeous and pure smile.

“Yep!” Maisy said, pulling my focus. “If it’s a hit with the tourists, I’m going to convert another room next fall. Silas has been so busy at the ranch that when he said he’d take a break to help Beau, I jumped all over it. Having them do the work for free saved me a fortune.”

“He’s a great friend.” And you two seem very close. Tell me, are you in love with him? I took a sip of my wine to keep that line of questioning to myself.

“He’s easy to lean on.”

“That he is.”

“It’s too bad we don’t have any chemistry,” she said. “He’d be, like, the perfect man for me if I could stomach kissing him.”

I coughed and choked on my wine as she giggled.

“Well, I better go check on Coby. Good to see you, Felicity.” She walked away, leaving me completely dumbfounded. How had she known exactly what to tell me to put my jealousy to rest?

I shook off my shock and rejoined the party.

An hour later, I was glad to be heading home. I was sleepy from all the wine and ready for my bed.

“Did you have fun?” Silas asked.

“I did,” I said. “Thanks for inviting me.”

The last hour had been much better than the first. I had more in common with Emmeline than I’d originally thought and, as an avid Sons of Anarchy fan, I’d been fascinated when she’d told me about how Nick’s dad and brother were in a motorcycle club.

“You’re not lying to me, are you?” Silas asked. “That goes against the rules of friendship.”

“No, I’m not lying. It was fun. Maybe a little awkward at first.”

“Why?”

“Honestly? Even though I’m from here, sometimes I’m not sure how to act. I’m just . . . trying not to make waves.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to be like Andrea anymore. That mean girl who never grew up. I want to make new friends here and not be fodder for gossip. I know that I have a sharp tongue so I’m just trying to keep it behind my teeth and make sure I don’t offend anyone.”

“Hmm,” he muttered as he pulled into my driveway.

“Well, good night. Thanks for taking me tonight. And for shoveling earlier.” I reached for the door handle, but before I could pull it open, Silas grabbed my elbow.

“Lis,” he said gently, “you don’t need to stifle yourself to make friends. That spirit you have? It’s what makes you special. Don’t smother that fire because you think others won’t like it. They’ll be drawn to it, just like I am. And if I ever hear you compare yourself to Andrea Merkuso again, I’ll take you over my knee.”

My chest swelled with emotion and I fought to breathe. It never ceased to amaze me how much this man understood me. All of me. His words? They were everything I needed to hear.

I couldn’t lose myself on my quest to better myself.

The right thing to say wasn’t coming to mind, so instead, I leaned across the cab and placed my hand on his cheek. Softly, I brushed my lips to his and whispered, “Thank you.”

When I pulled back an inch, his hands came to the sides of my face, then his mouth was back on mine, rough and demanding. I melted as his tongue coaxed my lips open and slid inside. We kissed without restraint, my hands wandering over his muscled chest as he slanted my head so he could take my mouth exactly the way he wanted.

What did this mean? Did he want more? Questions flitted through my head but I pushed them away and enjoyed the sensation of his lips against mine. I’d been waiting, aching for this moment for so long, I wanted to relish it. His kiss left me breathless and I panted when he pulled back and broke away.

“We should stop,” he said.

My heart fell with my shoulders. I tried to hide my crushing disappointment as I leaned back into my half of the cab. “I’m sorry. You’re right. We can’t do this again. We’ll just end up in bed and then probably get into a fight. We agreed to be friends and that’s what we should be. It’s my mistake. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“Lis, that’s not—”

“I’m going to go, okay? Before this gets weird. Let’s just forget it ever happened. Thanks again for tonight.” I opened the handle and jumped out of the truck before he could say anything else or I could make a bigger fool of myself.

I waved and forced a smile as I rounded the hood of the truck and walked to my front door. When I was safely inside, I leaned back against the door, glad that Silas couldn’t see the pain of rejection on my face.

Silas

“I should get a fucking medal for self-restraint,” I muttered.

I had wanted nothing more than to carry Felicity into the house and spend the night deep inside her, but I’d vowed to take this slowly. We weren’t in a good place yet and sex would just complicate things. I just hoped that I hadn’t alienated her tonight and that one day, she’d understand why I’d stopped that kiss.

She was lonely and doubting her every move. Before we took the next step, I wanted her in a better mental place. Whenever we’d been together in the past, it had always been so dramatic. She’d been drunk. She’d been angry. She’d been heartbroken by the love of her life.

This time around, I didn’t want her running to me as an escape.

This time around, I wanted her to finally choose me just because I made her happy.

“And you’re sure I can’t get you to reconsider?” my boss asked.

“Thanks, but no. This is the best thing for me and for you too. I’ve been a rotten employee lately.”

“Hardly,” he said. “On your worst day, you’re still my best.”

“Well, I had a great teacher.” James had been my mentor for years and I hated letting him down, but I was miserable and it was time for a change. I had always vowed never to let myself suffer in a job that didn’t make me happy.

“When will I lose you?”

“I’ll give you a firm resignation date later this week. I’d like a couple of days to do some forecasting and see when I’ll have all of my current assignments wrapped up. If you need a rough estimate, probably the end of January, early February.”

“I’ll take whatever you can give me. I appreciate your willingness to stick around and finish up with these clients.”

“The last thing I want to do is leave you high and dry.” It wasn’t like I had another job waiting.

He sighed. “I’m going to miss you. Whoever gets you next is one lucky employer.”

I smiled. “I’ll miss you too. Bye.” I set my phone down and stared at it.

What did I just do?

Quitting my job certainly hadn’t been on my to-do list today, but when James had called to touch base, I’d had to be honest. The words I’m unhappy and this job just isn’t for me anymore had just poured right out.

I didn’t regret it but my timing was brilliant, as ever. Just days before Christmas and I was looking at unemployment come spring. So now, in addition to making new friends, being a nicer person, building lasting relationships, et cetera—Felicity’s Journey Home also included finding and starting a new career.

Damn.

At least I was lucky enough to have a good chunk of change stashed away in savings. I didn’t need to rush to find a new job and could spend some time thinking about what I wanted to do with my life.

I walked to the fridge and popped the top off a plastic storage container, lifting out another rainbow-chip cupcake. In four enormous bites, it was safely in my belly, along with the other five I’d eaten throughout the morning.

The last three weeks since the party at Slater’s Station hadn’t been much fun. I’d been putting in relentless hours at work, often waking up before five a.m. and working well into the night, only stepping away to visit Mom and cook her dinner. The grueling hours had cemented the fact that I didn’t want consulting to be my lifelong career.

And now it wasn’t.

But the added work had been necessary. I’d been cramming my days full of distractions so I wouldn’t think about Silas and how I’d completely humiliated myself.

Gah! Why had I kissed him? Any progress I’d made toward building a friendship had been erased. I had been a daft idiot to push for more, because he didn’t want me like that. Now I didn’t have him at all.

Grabbing my phone, I hit Sabrina’s name only to get her voicemail. Again.

“Three voicemail messages and no return call. I’m assuming that your phone is in a bag of rice because you’ve dropped it in a toilet. Why else would you not be returning my calls or sending me a ‘Hey, I’m alive’ text? You have exactly twenty-four hours to respond before I call the police. Please don’t be dead.”

My phone chimed with a text not long after I hung up.

Sabrina: Not dead. Call later. Love.

Next up, I found Khloe’s name. Just as I’d suspected, it went to her voicemail too.

“Hi, Khloe. It’s Felicity. I was just calling to say hello, find out what you’re doing for Christmas. If you want to meet for a holiday coffee, I’d love to see you. Bye.”

That was what felt like my millionth message for Khloe, but I wasn’t giving up. She was either going to accept the fact that I wasn’t going anywhere or change her number.

The cupcake wasn’t doing its job and I was still in desperate need of a pick-me-up. If I couldn’t gab with friends, then I needed the next best thing. Shopping. Prescott didn’t have much but I’d make due at the hardware store today.

Two hours later, I pushed inside Mom’s trailer, my arms loaded with groceries and two bags full of new kitchen gadgets.

“Mom!” I called. She came walking out of her bedroom with a white bandage across her cheek. “What happened?” I gasped, dropping my bags and rushing toward her.

“Oh, I just slipped.”

I brushed my fingers over the bandage. “Did you go to the hospital?”

“It’s just a scratch. I’ll be fine.”

“Mom,” I said gently. “Was your slip because of a blackout?”

She looked to her feet and nodded. “Sorry.”

“No apologies, okay? I’m just glad you’re okay.” I feared the day that I came over and she had seriously injured herself. “How about some dinner? Your choices are stuffed pork chops or a homemade chicken pot pie.”

She smiled. “Both sound wonderful. You decide.”

I went back to my bags, picking them up and taking them to the kitchen to start unloading supplies for pork chops. “I know you’re nervous about those tests but I really do think it’s for the best.”

She nodded and gave me an unconvincing smile.

Her appointment at the hospital was in two weeks, and with any luck, we’d have the results back within a month. I only hoped that with the results would come the good news that there was something more we could do to help Mom avoid her spells.

I wanted to know why she was so nervous about the tests but I didn’t ask. Was it because they could find something? Or that they wouldn’t? Pushing too far with this topic had always made her uncomfortable.

“So, I quit my job today,” I told her while I cooked.

“What?” she gasped.

“It’s for the best. The time has come for me to do something new. Now I just have to figure out what. Brainstorm with me?”

She took a seat at the small round table in the kitchen. “You’d be good at so many things. How about opening up a clothing store? You always look so nice.”

“Not a bad idea. What else?” I went to the sink to rinse my hands.

“Hair stylist?”

I shook my head. “I’d rather not have to go back to school.”

“How about a job at the bank?”

“Maybe, though I’d rather have a job with a bit more flexibility and independence. I think starting a business could be fun. Can you think of anything that Prescott is missing?”

“Hmm. Let me think.”

I did the same while stirring the stuffing mix. When I couldn’t come up with anything, my mind wandered to other topics until, like always, it landed on Silas. I hadn’t heard from him since the party and that kiss. He had said that he understood why I’d left, but after another long stretch of no communication, I was doubting his sincerity. Just like I doubted he really wanted to be friends.

“Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Do you think it’s possible to truly forgive someone who broke your heart?”

“Oh.” She sat back further in her chair, likely surprised by my complete change of topic. “I don’t know. I guess. It probably depends on the situation.”

“If Dad came home and begged for forgiveness, would you take him back?”

It was a risk, bringing up Dad. She’d erased him from our lives after he’d left, removing pictures and throwing out any of the things he’d left behind, and she never spoke of him. I half expected her to ignore my question, but I needed to know if forgiveness—even under extreme circumstances like hers—was possible.

“If it was just me,” she said, “yes. But he left you and Jess too. I’ll never get over that.”

I smiled. Maybe there was hope for me and Silas after all. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Is this about Wes? Did he break your heart?”

I could see why she’d wonder. Silas hadn’t been the only person I’d abandoned without explanation. Neither Jess nor Mom had ever gotten the full story as to why I’d left so suddenly after high school. I’d called them from Seattle, told them I’d needed a change and that Wes and I had broken up. End of discussion.

“No, Wes didn’t break my heart.”

“Oh, I just assumed since you only came back after he had passed.”

I sighed. “I was scared. That’s why I didn’t come back. At first, I was so determined to prove to everyone that I could make it on my own. I was scared that if I came back, I’d look weak. Years went by. Then more. It just got easier to stay away.” It had been easier to ignore my mistakes rather than face them.

“It’s hard,” she said. “I’m sad, the way Wes’s life ended, but at the same time, I’m also glad because it brought you home.”

My nose started to sting and I swallowed the lump in my throat. Wes’s death had been tragic and senseless, but it had been my wake-up call. “Does it make me a horrible person that I’m grateful for his funeral?” Tears flooded my eyes as the words came out.

Mom stood and crossed the room, pulling me into her arms. “I don’t think grateful is the right word. How about this? You’ll always love and remember the good things he brought to your life. One of those was the chance to come home.”

I nodded and hugged her tighter. “I like that.”

I had loved Wes. We never would have made it long-term, but he had been my first everything, and for that, he’d always have a special place.

With one last squeeze, I let Mom go and wiped my eyes dry, then went back to cooking.

“You never said. Who broke your heart?” Mom asked while I slid the pork chops into the oven.

“Oh, I was just being hypothetical,” I lied. “No one broke my heart.”

My wounds were self-inflicted.

“Oh, Felicity!” Annie said. “Come in, come in! What are you doing here?”

I leaned in to give Annie a quick one-armed hug, balancing a stack of Christmas presents in the other. “Hi, I just wanted to drop these off.”

“You wonderful girl. You didn’t need to get us anything,” she said as I followed her inside.

“I wanted to.” I set three gift boxes on the kitchen island. “It’s nothing big, just a couple of little things I thought you and Jack would enjoy, and I got a present for Mason too. It’s a Lego set.”

“Thank you, he’ll love it. You’re too sweet. How have you been?”

“I’m doing well. You? I was thinking about you last week.”

“Thanks.” Her eyes glistened. Last week had marked the two-year anniversary of Wes’s death.

“I should have called or . . . stopped by. I just wasn’t sure if you’d want company.”

“You are always welcome here.” She sniffled and dried the corner of an eye. “And we’re doing okay. It was a sad day but we tried to make the best of it. We took Mason sledding and then to a movie. Jack and I each spent a little time visiting Wes’s grave. It helps us both to talk to him, to speak our feelings out loud. I’m not sure if he can hear us, but it gives me some peace. If he can hear me, I want him to know that I’ll always love him.”

“I can understand that.”

“How about some coffee?” I nodded and, with steaming mugs in hand, we wandered to the living room. “What are your plans for Christmas?”

I took a sip and set my mug down. “Mom and I are going over to the farmhouse. Gigi pulls out all the stops for her holiday meals so I’m sure I’ll stuff myself to the brim and waddle home. What about you?”

“Mason has had so few real Christmases that we’re planning a big ordeal for him here. Jack has gone, shall we say, completely off the rails. See those gifts there?” She pointed to the enormous stack of presents under their tree. “There’s another pile from Santa just as big hidden away upstairs. Mason doesn’t even believe in Santa.”

“Oh, lordy,” I muttered and we both laughed.

Thankfully, the awkwardness from my first dinner here was gone, and for the next hour, Annie and I visited about the farm. She told me about the changes she and Jack had made the last few years so it would be more manageable as they got older. Their plan had always been to pass the farm down to Wes, but now they were just hoping to keep it running until Mason was older and could decide if he wanted it for himself.

But the more she talked, the more my heart hurt for her. Wes’s life hadn’t been the only one drastically changed by his drug use. Had he ever realized how much he’d hurt those who loved him? Jack and Annie had had hopes and dreams for Wes. They’d planned to leave him their legacy.

If he were alive, I wouldn’t know whether to punch him for being so selfish or hug him and say I was sorry. Probably both.

“Well, I’d better get out of your hair,” I said, standing from the couch. I’d kept the smile on my face during our conversation, but I couldn’t take much more without my real feelings starting to show and I didn’t want Annie’s sympathy. Not when I was to blame. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“I’m so glad you stopped by. And thank you for the gifts.”

“My pleasure.”

She walked me to the door and gave me another hug. I turned to leave but hesitated when my hand touched the doorknob.

“Annie?” I turned around. “I’m so sorry about Wes.”

“Thank you.”

“No. I mean I’m sorry because it’s my fault. When we were younger, I asked him to . . . he was . . .”

I tried to tell her what had happened all those years ago but I couldn’t get the words out. Annie and Jack deserved to know the truth, but I was terrified that after my confession, she’d never look at me the same way again.

“Felicity.” I stopped stuttering and met her gaze. Her eyes were full of pain. “I’m sure there were things that happened, but it’s just too much. Jack and I, we’ve come to terms with what happened with Wes. Let’s leave it alone.”

“All right.” I wouldn’t push. I wouldn’t put this woman through more pain.

“I don’t mean to shut you out, it’s just—”

“I get it, Annie.” I carried guilt, but so did she. I didn’t have to have kids to know that mothers felt guilty when bad things happened to their children, no matter how old those children were.

Her whole body sagged with relief. “Thank you.”

“You guys have a merry Christmas.” I turned to the door and stepped outside, but before I could get off the front porch, Annie called my name.

“If you have things to say, you should say them to Wes. Tell him and get it off your chest. It always helps me cope.”

I nodded and waved again, walking down the sidewalk to my car. Should I go to Wes’s grave? Could I?

I set my purse inside my car, then set out along the gravel road toward the oak tree in the distance. In the middle of a wheat field, under its towering limbs, was Wes’s grave.

The air was fresh and smelled of the rich dirt from the fields. We’d gotten an unseasonable Chinook wind this last week and most of the snow had melted. It would come again but, for the time being, the breeze was warm and the ground dry.

The oak tree’s leaves had long since blown away and the wheat in the fields had long since been cut, leaving behind short, yellow straws that contrasted with the dark evergreens in the distance. The setting for Wes’s resting place was beautiful, even in the dead of winter. In the spring, when everything was green and bright, it would be spectacular.

“Hi, Wes,” I said to his tombstone. A simple square slab of charcoal granite stood tall above the earth. His name had been engraved in large block letters.

I stared at his name for minutes, unsure of where to start. There was so much to say but the only words that seemed to come out were “I’m sorry.”

A flood of tears followed my apology. Regret and guilt poured down my face. Sadness and longing too. The hairs blowing in my face stuck to the wetness on my cheeks.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I ever had that horrible, dumb idea. Why didn’t you just tell me no? Why didn’t you stop? You promised.”

My sadness morphed to anger and I bent down and picked up a handful of rocks lodged between the grasses. One by one, I started throwing them at Wes’s name.

“I’m sorry but I am so fucking mad at you!”

Throw.

“You left us. How could you do this to all of us?”

Throw.

“You almost got my brother killed in that goddamn explosion. How could you be so reckless?”

Throw.

“Your parents had to bury you. How could you be so goddamn selfish?”

I ran out of rocks.

“Did you blame me for this? Did you hate me all these years?”

“He never hated you, Lis.” I jumped at Silas’s deep voice. He stood behind me with his hands tucked into his jeans pockets.

It took me a moment to get over the shock of seeing him, but once I did, I started swiping my cheeks to dry my face. “He should have hated me. It was my fault he even started using meth in the first place.”

“How do you figure that?”

“It was my idea,” I confessed, sniffling. “That first night he did meth? It was for me. I told him I wanted to try getting high and he wouldn’t let me. He said he would do it first to make sure it was safe but then he couldn’t stop.”

Ouch. I rubbed my hand against my sternum. I had buried that burden deep, carrying it alone for so long, that setting it free physically hurt. The tears returned and I furiously wiped my eyes, but there were too many to stop.

When Silas’s strong arms folded around me, I didn’t resist as he pulled me into his chest. “It wasn’t your fault, Lis.”

“Of course it was. Wes hated drugs. He told me all the time. But you know how addicting meth is. Once he started, he couldn’t stop.”

His arms squeezed me tighter. “I’m not sure how to tell you this.”

“Tell me what?”

Silas let me go and bent down to pick up his own rock, chucking it out into the open field.

“Tell me what?” I repeated, knowing whatever was coming would be bad news because he wouldn’t look at me.

“Wes started doing meth his senior year, Lis. Not yours. He started using two years before that party.”

My whole body jerked. “What?”

“I didn’t know it at the time, but after I got home from the army, Wes and I met up for a beer. It had been so long, I thought all that shit was behind us. It wasn’t. Long story short, we got into an argument when I found out he was still using. I told him to get some help and he said he didn’t need it. He said he’d been doing drugs since his senior year and was just fine.”

“No. No! That can’t be.” My hands balled into fists so tight my fingernails bit into my palms. “How is that possible? I would have known, Silas. I would have seen the signs. I would have helped him.”

He shook his head. “Wes didn’t want help. He was the master at hiding his habit.”

“So, you’re saying that Wes was doing drugs for over half of our relationship and lying to me?”

Silas nodded.

“And the first time he did meth, it wasn’t my fault at all?”

“No. It wasn’t your fault.”

I shook my head. “I can’t believe this.”

“Think back. Did you really have to try hard to convince him to use?”

No. Wes hadn’t put up much of a fight at all.

A wave of dizziness washed over me. Silas jumped forward to grab my elbow as I swayed. Though I found my feet again, my head was still spinning.

How many years had I felt guilty? How many times had I regretted that night? How many tears had I cried over Wes? I’d spent sixteen years regretting that party. And now? Poof. All that time. All that worry. Wasted.

“I can’t believe this. He lied to me,” I whispered. That hurt the worst. More than all the unnecessary guilt, the fact that Wes had lied was the most painful part to hear. I trusted so few people, especially men. But I had trusted Wes.

“He lied to all of us, Lis.”

I stepped past Silas and turned back to Wes’s grave. “He left me a voicemail about a month before he was killed. He said that if I came home, he’d get help. I didn’t even call him back, Silas. Do you think if I had, he would still be alive?”

He stepped up by my side. “I don’t think it would have made a difference. Toward the end, he was high all the time. No one could have convinced him to get help. Not even you. He never thought he had a problem.”

I hoped he was right but I hated that I’d never know.

We stood silently for a while, side by side, as I let everything sink in. Shock. Sorrow. Anger. I didn’t know which emotion to start with first.

Anger. Anger and I were old friends.

“I’m so mad at him.” I kicked at a rock by my shoe. “Grrr! I feel like punching something.”

Silas took a large step away. “Well, before you decide that something is me, let’s get out of here.” He jerked his head back toward the Drummonds’ house. “Come on. I think I’ve got something that could help.”

“What is this place?” I asked Silas as he flipped through his keys for the right one to unlock a padlock.

“It’s our Quonset.”

“Huh.” I muttered, never having heard that word before.

The Quonset was a windowless, semicircular building made of corrugated steel. It looked like a giant can of vegetables, sans label, had been buried halfway in the dirt. The sliding doors on the front had to be at least twelve feet tall, and the peak of the arch had to be nearly twenty.

After we’d left the Drummond farm, I had followed Silas back to the ranch, but instead of stopping at the barn as I’d expected, we’d kept driving down a gravel road to the Quonset. I had no idea why Silas would bring me here, but my curiosity was piqued.

With the correct key in hand, Silas unlocked the padlock on the doors and slid one open so we could step inside.

“Hang here,” he said as I stepped into the dark room. “I’ll hit the lights.”

The smell of oil and dirt filled my nose as Silas walked along the front wall to a light panel. With each switch, a row of hanging florescent lights above us flickered on. After six rows, the building was as bright as if we were in broad daylight.

“As you can see, this is where we keep all of our tractors and equipment.”

“Yes, I see that.” I followed Silas as he weaved past a plethora of machines. Some were big, others small, but all were green. “Do you guys have stock in John Deere?”

Silas laughed and kept walking, leading me to our destination at the back of the building. A corner had been cleared except for a black, heavy bag hanging by a thick chain from the ceiling.

“Here you go,” he said. “You want to punch something? Punch away.”

“Cool.” I smiled and walked up to the bag, pushing it gently so it swung. “I’ve never hit one of these before.”

“Well, now’s your chance.”

I had been so angry and hurt at Wes’s grave but the long drive out to the ranch had given me a chance to settle. I was in a better mental place now, but still, I wanted to give this punching bag thing a try, if for no other reason than to see what it was like. “What do I do?”

Silas stepped up to the bag and nodded me over. “Stand like me. With your left leg forward.”

“Like this?” I said, mirroring his stance.

“Yep. Now hands up.” In a flash, he threw a left jab into the bag. It hit with a light pop and the bag swayed. “Make tight fists, otherwise it will hurt.”

“Okay.” I clenched my fists hard.

He reached out with both hands and stopped the bag from swinging. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

I smiled nervously then let my hand fly. My knuckles didn’t sink more than a centimeter into the black leather and the bag didn’t move. “Ouch.” I shook out my fist. “That’s a lot harder than it looks. And really heavy.”

Silas smiled, standing back and crossing his arms over his chest as he waited for me to start again.

“Okay. Here goes.” Getting back in my stance, I made sure my fist was as tight as I could make it and then punched again. This time the bag started to swing. “I did it!”

“Good. Now do a jab,” he said, stepping up to demonstrate, “and then a hook with your right.”

He did it twice, once in slow motion and once in real time, so I could memorize the movement.

“Got it.” I threw my punches and smiled when they hit. This felt good. Really good. Like, I was going to buy one of these bags tomorrow and hang it in my garage, good.

“More?” Silas asked.

I nodded. “Yes, please.”

For the next hour, Silas showed me more punch combinations and a few elbow and knee techniques. By the time we were done, I was sweating, my knuckles were red and puffy, and the endorphins from the exercise had turned my mood around. Well, that and just being with Silas.

It was hard to believe I could be this happy after how my day had started and the drama at Wes’s grave. More proof that Silas was good for my soul. He always knew what I needed, even when I didn’t.

“Thank you. I needed this.”

“You’re welcome.” He walked over to a mini fridge and pulled out two waters. After tossing me mine, he opened his own and tipped it up to his lips. As he gulped it down, I stared at his corded throat and bobbing Adam’s apple. The sweat on his skin glistened and his damp T-shirt clung to his chest.

Holy hell.

Everything about this man was sexy. Everything.

What I wouldn’t give for him to want me back.

Before Silas could catch me staring, I snapped out of my trance and opened my water, taking a few long swallows and letting the cold chill spread down my throat.

“More?” Silas asked, going to the fridge for another water.

“No, thanks. I’m good.” I waited for him to take another long drink before asking, “Did you learn all of that in the army?”

“Yeah. Me and some of the guys in my squad started boxing as a way to keep in shape. I set this up when I got home so I had a place to go when I needed to burn off some steam.”

“Does that happen a lot, you needing to burn off steam?”

He shrugged. “Depends on the day. Lately I’ve been so dog-tired by the time I’m done working, I just go home and crash.”

“Still no luck in hiring some help, huh?”

He shook his head and walked over to a tool bench, jumping up to sit on its top. “Nope. No help, and Dad’s in charge, so that means I’m fucked.”

“He’s in charge? I thought you were running this place together.”

He scoffed. “So did I, but since Dad doesn’t listen to a damn thing I say, it sure doesn’t feel like we’re in this together.”

“I’m sorry.” I hated to hear him sound so bitter.

His eyes softened. “Don’t be. I shouldn’t be piling my shit on you anyway.”

“I don’t mind.” I walked over to a stack of tires and took a seat. “Tell me. I want to know.”

Silas

Damn, she was easy to talk to. I had forgotten that.

I didn’t open up to just anyone, only those I trusted, and since that list of people could fit on a sticky note, I kept a lot of things to myself.

But Lis?

When she was sitting on those tires with her face flushed and her hair pulled back, I’d tell her anything.

“Dad is having a hard time passing the baton. He’s no different than a lot of old farmers and ranchers. The old way is the only way, you know?”

She nodded. “He’s set in his ways.”

“To a fault. I can’t imagine it’s easy letting go of something he’s poured his blood, sweat and tears into for his entire life, and I’m not unsympathetic to how hard it is to let go. His own merit and hard work made this ranch a success. But the problem is, he’s robbing me of the chance to do the same.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“I’ve tried but we always end up in a fight.”

Dad and I been having the same argument for decades. I’d pitch him a new idea, he’d shoot it down without consideration, and we’d both start yelling. He always had an excuse as to why my idea wouldn’t work. Before I went into the army, he’d tell me I was too young and didn’t know better. After I came home from Iraq, he’d say I’d been gone too long and didn’t know how things were done here anymore. These days, it was taking him longer to come up with excuses, but he’d eventually think of some bullshit to throw my way.

The truth was, he didn’t like change.

“What about your mom?” Felicity asked. “Could she help by talking to him?”

I smiled. “Mom always says that Dad has two wives, her and the ranch. She jokes that he’d let her go before the Lucky Heart and I don’t know if she’s wrong.”

Her beautiful blue eyes widened. “Yikes.”

“It’ll work itself out eventually.” Dad wasn’t getting younger, and worst-case scenario, he’d keep control until he was too old to run the ranch and then he’d be forced to turn it over. I just hated that, at this point, the worst-case scenario was looking like the most likely scenario.

Time for a subject change. “Thanks for listening.”

She smiled. “Always.”

“How are you? You had a rough day.”

She looked to her feet as she considered her answer. “I think I’m okay.” She looked up and I studied her face to make sure it was the truth. “I feel . . . different. Lighter, maybe? I don’t know if that’s the right description, but I feel like a weight is off my shoulders. I carried a lot of guilt over that party and Wes’s meth addiction, and I’m hurt that he lied to me. I thought we loved each other enough not to lie. It’s going to take some time to come to terms with everything, but I’ll get there.”

I nodded. “Yeah. You’ll get there.” I’d do everything in my power to see she did.

“I just wish I’d had the chance to apologize.”

“For what?”

“For, um, what we did. That night.” She blushed and looked back to her feet.

“Oh.” She meant fucking me. She felt bad and wanted to apologize to Wes for fucking me. She still thought that making love to me that night had been a mistake. Which really fucking stung, because I thought that night had been one of the best in my life.

I took a long drink of my water, counting the bubbles as they popped in the bottle, and reined in the pain. What I really wanted to do was throw the bottle across the room and go five minutes balls-out on the heavy bag. But where Lis was concerned, I always tried to keep a hold on my temper.

“What were you doing at the farm anyway?” she asked.

“Dropping off a check. We bought some hay from Jack, and Mom forgot to stick it in the mail. I needed a break so I decided just to drive it over. I was coming out of their barn and saw you walking up to Wes’s grave.”

“Why’d you follow me?”

Because I want to be around you all the time. Because this distance I’ve tried to keep is killing me. Because I need to know if you will ever stop loving Wes.

No. The truth would be too much for today. “I just figured that wasn’t going to be easy for you.”

She smiled and whispered, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

We sat quietly for a while, listening to the small noises in the shop. The lights above us were humming, the air vent rattled as the wind blew outside, and the utility sink dripped slowly.

It was nice to sit for a change. I couldn’t remember the last time I wasn’t rushing off to do the next thing on my to-do list. And it was especially nice to just sit with Felicity ten feet away.

I had promised myself I’d wait until she was in a better spot before making my play, until she was over Wes. I didn’t want to break that promise, but I couldn’t keep avoiding her either. I was working myself to the bone, exhausting myself, so that at the end of the day I wouldn’t have the energy to drive to her house and carry her to bed.

There had to be a middle ground. A way for us to be more than friends—I fucking hate that word—but less than lovers. We needed time to just be together, but without sex to complicate things. I wanted to own her heart, not just her body.

Today was probably a horrible day to approach this, with all the drama from Wes’s grave, but I was going to be a selfish dick and do it anyway. I opened my mouth to start talking, but she spoke up first.

“Silas?”

“Hmm?” My eyes found hers.

“Did I mess us up with that kiss in your truck?”

I shook my head. “No.”

Her spine relaxed from stick straight and she sighed. “Good. Do you think we can try this friendship thing one last time?”

“I don’t know if friendship is ever going to work with us.”

“Oh.” Her frame deflated and a flash of pain washed over her face. “Okay.”

Fuck. I needed to hurry up and explain before her wall of defenses slammed down and blocked me out. Hopping off the bench, I crossed the cement floor and stood in front of her.

“That’s not what I meant.” Her head tipped way back to find my face. “I’ll always be your friend, Lis. But I’m fucking tired of saying that’s all we are.”

“What?”

I’d shocked her, that was certain, but it was a hopeful shock. This might just work after all, you lucky bastard. Bending down, I set my hands gently on her neck so I could speak right in her face. I needed her to hear me, loud and clear.

“How about we stop labeling our relationship? Stop trying to fit us into a mold. Let’s just enjoy the time we spend together and see what develops. Okay?”

She blinked at me once, then again. Her mouth opened but she closed it without saying a word. Then another blink.

“Nod if you understand me.”

She nodded and I smiled. When her breath hitched, my cock jerked. Before I started thinking with my dick, I needed to back off. Dropping my hands and standing tall, I helped her off the tires.

“Now that we’ve got that settled,” I said, “I need to get back to work. When you drive away, are you going to twist this all around in your head?”

“Hey!” She poked me in the stomach. “I don’t twist things around in my head.”

There was that fire. I’d been worried for a second that she’d smothered it. “You do twist things around. You have an incredible tendency to overcomplicate shit.”

“I do n—” I pressed a finger against her lips, silencing her protest. Her blue eyes narrowed but I didn’t drop my finger.

“Can you just let this happen? However it happens?”

She frowned, but nodded so I let my finger fall from her soft, pink lips.

“Don’t analyze every word I just said. Just know that I want to spend time with you and in no way did that kiss last month mess us up. It was the highlight of my night. Or it was until you bolted out of my truck before giving me the chance to explain why I stopped.”

She huffed. “What was I supposed to do? You rejected m—”

Back went the finger. This time I got a death glare so I dropped my finger before she bit it off. “I didn’t reject you. I just didn’t want us to fall back into an old routine. We’re taking it slow this time around. Are you with me?”

“Yes.” She pursed her lips to hide a smile, but I still caught it.

“Good.” I grinned, placing a light kiss on her forehead, and then turned to walk out.

I made short work of shutting off the lights and locking up the shop. I opened her car door for her to climb in, then hopped in my truck to lead her back to the main road. Pulling over to the side and waving, she honked as she blew past me toward town.

Pretty soon, I hoped to be done watching her taillights.

Felicity

What a weird day.

This morning, I’d thought I was responsible for my ex-boyfriend’s meth addiction and that the man I loved wanted to cut me out of his life.

Now it was late afternoon and everything was different.

It was lucky that Silas had been at the farm earlier. How many more years would I have spent holding onto my own guilt had he not told me the truth about when Wes had started using?

Forever.

I would have carried that guilt with me forever.

Now it was gone and I felt lighter than I had in years.

I drove from the ranch to town, passing the side street that led to my house as I continued onto the highway and back to the Drummond farm.

I hoped that Jack and Annie wouldn’t mind me coming back, but I had one last thing to say to Wes and I didn’t want to wait. I had to do this one last thing, and then I could let him go.

Turning off the highway, I slowly bumped along the gravel drive, past the Drummonds’ rambler and up the hill to the oak tree.

The sun set early this time of year and the temperature had dropped. I was shivering as I walked to Wes’s grave, but what I had to do wouldn’t take long.

“Hey. Me again,” I told his tombstone. “I was mad earlier and I forgot to tell you one last thing.”

I took a deep breath and said, “Thank you.”

When the tears came, I just let them slide gently down my cheeks.

“Thank you for being all of my firsts. Thank you for being the first boy I ever loved. You were good to me, Wes. I’m sorry how everything turned out at the end, and that Silas and I hurt you, but I hope you know that you were incredibly special and I’ll never forget all of the wonderful times we had together.”

I kissed my fingertips and placed them on the cold, granite tombstone. “Rest in peace.”

“You’re in trouble,” I said, answering Sabrina’s call on my car’s media panel.

“I know. Sorry. It’s this story. I’ve been undercover for the last two weeks.”

“Can you tell me about it yet?”

“Negative.”

I shook my head. “Are you at least being safe?”

“Um, define safe.”

“Not funny, Sabrina. I’m worried.”

She laughed. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

“Hmm,” I grumbled. “What are you doing tonight?”

It was Christmas Eve, and one of our long-running traditions had been to spend it together. These last couple of years I’d been back in Prescott for the holidays, and though I was happy to be with my family, I’d also missed that special time with my best friend. Our typical night had always included drinking and eating our body weight in junk food while watching musicals and singing along at the top of our lungs.

“My Christmas Eve plans are sad,” she said. “I’ll be drinking alone. Watching Chicago alone. Missing you terribly. Alone.”

“Here’s a crazy idea. Hop on a plane and come visit me. There’s usually an early morning flight to Bozeman. I’ll drive over and pick you up. We’ll have the entire hour drive to talk and then you can meet my family at Christmas dinner.”

She sighed. “Wish I could, really. I’d even brave the weather but I need to be in Seattle. I’m so close to breaking through with my source that I’d hate to miss my window because he decided to spill while I was in Montana.”

I pouted. “Okay.”

“Keep me company for a while? Tell me what’s new.”

“Well, I, uh, quit—”

“Shit! Felicity, I have to go. My source is calling.”

“Be careful!” I shouted, but she’d already hung up.

I didn’t like this. Not one bit. I had a bad feeling about this story of hers.

Sabrina had never left me so in the dark before. Usually I’d get little tidbits or her overall idea. Her silence on this one likely meant that she was into something dangerous.

I dropped my phone in a cup holder and kept driving toward Silas’s ranch. On a whim, I had decided to deliver his Christmas present.

Earlier tonight, Mom and I’d had dinner with Jess, Gigi and the kids. After we’d left the farmhouse, the two of us had exchanged gifts and sipped a glass of wine before she’d gotten sleepy and I’d gone home. But the second I’d stepped through the door of my dark and empty house, I’d grabbed Silas’s gift and spun back around to my car.

We hadn’t seen each other since he’d taken me to the Quonset two days ago and my surprise visit was a risk. My nerves were bouncing like magic jumping beans but I really wanted to see him. No, I needed to see him.

I’d been replaying his words from the other day on loop and overcomplicating them, just as he’d predicted. Were we dating? Were we keeping this thing a secret? What was this thing? I had no clue. By spending a little time together, maybe I could get a better feel for our unlabeled relationship. The text messages we’d been exchanging just weren’t cutting it for me.

And even if things went south tonight, I’d at least get the chance to enjoy the scenery. The moon and stars were bright and the fresh snow we’d gotten earlier was sparkling like fairy lights across the plains. It was like driving through the scene of a movie.

I loved Montana.

Crossing under the arched entrance to the ranch, my nerves spiked but a smile tugged at my mouth. With all that had changed over the years, it was nice to see that the sign hadn’t. It was just as iconic as I’d remembered.

Two huge logs stood tall in their stone bases. Across them was another log, equally as large, with Lucky Heart Ranch stamped into its center. Hanging from the beam was a metal sign swinging from two thick chains that depicted the ranch’s brand: a simple heart.

It wasn’t fancy, but it was romantic. I always thought it deserved a slogan.

For those who cross under this sign, may your hearts be lucky in love and in life.

Past the sign, a long, gravel lane lined with tall trees led to the Grants’ house. I rattled over a cattle guard and rolled slowly through the enormous gravel lot that connected all of the ranch buildings.

At the far end was the huge wooden barn. To its right was a massive hay shed. To its left sat the Grants’ house. Just like all of the other buildings here, the house itself was oversized. I’d only ever been inside once but had been impressed with vaulted ceilings and vast spaces. It was so different than the old, cramped trailer where I had grown up.

I pulled into the ranch’s gravel lot and parked next to Silas’s truck by the barn. The night was still and quiet and my new knee-high winter boots crunched on the fresh snow as I walked toward Silas’s apartment on the back side of the barn. When I heard voices coming from the main house, though, I switched directions and climbed the Grants’ front porch steps.

I reached out to knock on the door but stopped short when I realized that it wasn’t just voices I’d heard; it was shouting between Silas and his dad, Elliot.

“You’re really going to dig your heels in on this? Even when it’s going to cost us thousands?” Silas shouted.

“It’s my decision!” Elliot yelled back. “I’ve been doing this for a hell of a lot longer than you and don’t need you questioning everything. I’m the one who taught you about running this ranch, for Christ’s sake.”

“Stop!” a woman’s voice interjected “Both of you. It’s Christmas Eve and you promised to get along.” I assumed that voice belonged to Olivia, Silas’s mom.

The shouting stopped and the thud of footsteps came my way. I tried to back up but was still close to the door when it flew open and Silas stormed out.

“Ahh!” I stumbled backward when his chest collided with mine.

His hands shot out and caught me by the arms, steadying me before I could fall or drop his gift. “Felicity?”

“Hi. Sorry.”

“What are you doing here?”

I lifted the gift box between us. “Christmas present.”

He let me go and raked a hand through his hair before looking over his shoulder at the open door. He leaned back and slammed it shut, then tugged me along behind him. I followed him silently as he led me past our cars and along the barn to the back. As we pushed inside his apartment, he dropped my hand.

“Drink?” he asked over his shoulder as he stomped down the hallway to the kitchen.

“Uh, sure.” I lingered in the hall, giving him a moment to cool off.

While he banged and crashed around in the kitchen, I inspected his apartment from the door. I couldn’t see the whole place, but just from the entryway, I could tell he’d done an incredible amount of updating since the last time I’d been here. The place was almost unrecognizable.

The laundry room on the right had been tiled and painted. The bathroom on my left was entirely new. It had distressed barnwood walls, a tiled shower with a waterfall faucet and a metal stock tank as a bathtub on the far side under a glass-block window.

Slowly coming further into the space, I inspected the wide, main room. The kitchen had hickory cabinets and marbled cream counters. The stainless appliances were new and top-of-the-line. Silas had refinished the floors with rich, chocolate maple, and his old furniture had been replaced with a camel leather couch and armchair. The lofted bedroom hanging over us had a huge platform bed in the center with a closet on one side and a bookshelf on the other.

“This place is amazing.” I tipped my head back to the tall ceiling. At its center was an old, metal windmill that he had repurposed as a chandelier.

“Thanks,” he grumbled, sliding a glass of ice cubes and amber liquid across the island that separated the kitchen from the living room.

“Would you like to talk about it?”

He shook his head and gulped down the contents of his own glass.

“All right,” I said. “So, uh, did you do all the work here yourself?”

“Yep,” he muttered while refilling his glass.

“Okay.” I set his gift on the counter. “Sorry, I came at a bad time. I’m going to leave and we can talk next week. Merry Christmas.” I spun around and walked to the door, wishing I had texted before driving out here.

My fingers brushed the door handle but couldn’t get a grip because I was hauled backward by two strong hands clapped down on my shoulders. Silas steered me away from the door and down the hallway, maneuvering me to the living room couch, where he pushed down so I would sit.

“Sorry,” he said.

I smiled. “Don’t apologize. I should have called first.”

“I’m glad you came. Dad just—”

“No explanation necessary. I get it.”

“Thanks.” He went to the kitchen to collect our drinks and his gift. “What did you get me?”

“Open it and find out.” While he ripped at the paper and ribbon, I sipped my scotch, anxious to see his reaction to my present.

He grinned, inspecting two pairs of deerskin leather gloves. “These are great. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I asked the clerk at the hardware store for a recommendation and he told me that ranchers can always use leather gloves.”

He chuckled. “He’s right about that.” Setting them down on the coffee table, he pushed off the couch. “Sit tight.” When he returned from the kitchen, he brought back a box wrapped in white craft paper. “This is for you.”

I smiled, touched that he had thought of me. My smile got wider as I took the box and untied the candy-cane ribbon. I laughed. “You got me gloves too!”

The soft, buttery leather was the same yellow shade as the gloves I’d gotten for him except mine had a fluffy layer of sherpa lining. I pulled them on and fisted my hands. Perfect fit.

“If you’re going to help me out here, you’re going to need those.”

“You can count on it.”

He leaned his head against the back of the couch and scrubbed his hands over his face. “Sorry about earlier. It’s just . . . frustrating.”

“Talk to me, Goose.”

“Goose?” he asked. “Christ, I forgot that you’re obsessed with Top Gun.”

“It has, possibly, some of the best one-liners in the history of all movies.” That, and the volleyball scene where all of the men were sweaty and shirtless was the foundation for many of my fantasies as a young adult. Until they’d all been replaced with fantasies about Silas. Not that I’d share that little tidbit.

“You do realize that the depiction of fighter pilots in that movie was incredibly inaccurate.”

“Details,” I said. “Now quit stalling. What’s going on?”

“Just like I told you the other day, we’re stuck in the same old fight. I want to do things one way. He wants to do it another. He wants to retire but he won’t let me make any fucking decisions.”

“What did you guys fight about tonight?”

“Well, last year he bought a section of land next to the forest service. I wanted to use it to background yearlings in the summer but he’s hell-bent on trying to plant alfalfa. What he isn’t seeing or he’s just ignoring is that we’re getting really low yields, so we still end up buying hay. We’d be money ahead to have steers up there grazing and then sell them at heavier weights in the fall.”

I stared at him, dumbfounded, having no clue what he’d just said. “So, uh, I want you to know that I’m more than willing to listen. However, if you expect me to offer advice or even comprehend what you’re saying, you have to speak my language. English. I speak English.”

He relaxed and laughed, giving me that smile I loved so much. “I’ll try to remember that you haven’t taken Ranching 101.”

“Appreciated.”

“Any sage advice?”

“No, but I can lend a sympathetic ear.”

“Thanks. The only other person that gets it is Mom but I don’t want to put her in the middle all the time. So, that leaves me to dwell on it alone. I appreciate you listening again.”

“Anytime.” He’d often been my sounding board and it felt good to return the favor. Plus, I felt a little twinge of pride that he’d chosen to confide in me instead of his other friends, including Maisy.

“What’s going on with you?” he asked. “How’s work?”

“Right, um, work. I forgot to tell you, but I sort of quit my job this week.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. If I run out of money and am forced onto the street, can I sleep in the barn with your horses?” His eyes widened and the vein in his temple started pulsing. “Kidding! Don’t have an aneurism over there.”

“Are you okay on money?” His tone was so full of concern I thought for sure he was about to reach for his wallet.

“Yes, I’m fine.” I patted his shoulder. “Though I’ll have to delay buying that private island I had my eye on.”

He smiled, relaxing and sipping his drink. “What happened? Why’d you quit?”

“I was burnt out. I’m ready for something new.”

“Like what?”

“That’s the million-dollar question. I’ve been doing some soul-searching this week. Thinking about things I liked and didn’t about my job, then narrowing down my options. I love the idea of being my own boss but starting my own business seems daunting. I don’t know if I want to run something completely on my own.”

“Understandable. What’s on your short list of possibilities?” He turned sideways in the couch and threw an arm across the back.

“I’ve actually been thinking about becoming a real estate agent.”

He nodded. “I could see that.”

“Me too. I love the idea of finding families their forever homes. One of my friends in Seattle is a realtor. I always thought it was neat how she’d get to know her clients and then go on a hunt to find places that she thought they’d like.”

“You should talk to Rob Jordan,” he said. “He owns the agency in town and I think he was looking to bring on a partner. With the influx of rich tourists buying summer places these last couple of years, he’s been swamped and stretching himself pretty thin.”

“Really?” I asked, bouncing to my knees on the couch.

He grinned. “Really. When I saw him last, he was bitching about all the new regulations and paperwork with the residential sales. I bet he’d offload it to you.”

“I wonder how much money I’d have to come up with.” I tapped my chin as numbers raced through my head.

“I don’t know but it’s worth asking.”

“True,” I said. “I’ll give him a call once we get past the holidays. I’ll still be working for the next couple of months, finishing up my current projects, but it would be nice to start planning. Figure out if it’s an option and study to get my license.”

I was instantly in love with the idea of working with Rob, even if he was a stranger. Barring any major personality issues, it would be so much easier to learn from him rather than by trial and error.

The overhead costs would be lower if I joined him rather than starting something on my own. I had money in savings but was hesitant to use it all. We’d gone without so much when I’d been a child that I was neurotic about maintaining a substantial rainy-day fund.

“Do you want more to drink?” Silas asked, standing from the couch.

“I’d better not. I need to drive home.” I stood and followed him into the kitchen.

“I’m skijoring at the fairgrounds on New Year’s Day,” he said. “They have a big tournament every year. I’ve always gone to watch but somehow Nick convinced me to be his partner this year. We’re probably going to hurt ourselves competing with all the young guys, but if you’re not busy, would you like to come?”

I shook my head. “Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.”

“Oh, fuck me,” he muttered.

“What? That’s one of the best!” Well, not quite. My favorite Top Gun movie quote was “Take me to bed or lose me forever,” but I didn’t want to mention anything related to sex. I was still confused about what exactly Silas and I were doing and didn’t want to make the wrong assumption and humiliate myself again.

“Does that mean you’re not going to come to the fairgrounds?”

“No.” I smiled. “I’ll be there. I just wanted to sneak in another quote before I left.” I didn’t know what skijoring entailed but there was no way I’d turn down an invitation to spend time with him.

“I’m glad you came over. Turned my night around.”

“Me too.”

I ducked my head to hide my smile and the flush of my cheeks. From the corner of my eye, I saw him round the corner of the island. When his heat hit my side, I lifted my eyes to meet his gaze.

Those eyes. They weren’t full of complicated color patterns or changing shades. They were pure and simple. I could spend hours soaking up the warmth that came from those rich-brown irises.

His fingers came up and swept a stray hair off my forehead. They traced the curve of my ear, down the side of my jaw and to my neck, leaving behind a trail of tingles that tickled like champagne bubbles bursting on my tongue.

My lips parted as I took in a breath, holding it in as I waited for his next move. His eyes left mine and went to my mouth. When his tongue darted out to lick his top lip, my whole body shuddered.

Please kiss me.

I’d give just about anything to have that tongue against my skin. Silas had used his tongue to explore almost every inch of my body and his skill with it rivaled his talents with some of his other more prominent extremities. Well, almost.

The sound of my pounding heart echoed in my ears and my eyes drifted shut when his breath hit my cheek. His lips slowly descended toward mine.

This was it. Finally!

He would kiss me and all of the doubts I’d been having about our relationship would be erased.

“Silas?” Olivia Grant’s voice followed two sharp knocks on his front door.

My eyes snapped open and Silas stepped back, our moment gone.

So. Close.

“Come on in, Mom,” he called over my head.

I turned and plastered on a smile. Olivia was a very nice woman but her timing was rotten. Three more seconds. That’s all I’d needed, and Silas would have been kissing me.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had a guest.”

“It’s no problem,” he said. “Mom, you remember Felicity Cleary?”

“Yes. Hello, Felicity. So nice to see you again.” She came closer and held out a hand.

“You too,” I said as we shook.

Olivia had aged gracefully over the years. She still had the same tall and lean figure but her style had changed from trendy to classic. Her hair was the same shade of light brown and any grays that she’d earned were covered up with soft blond highlights.

“I have to say,” she looked me up and down, “you were one pretty girl back in the day, but my god, you’ve grown into a stunning woman.”

I smiled. “And I always liked you best out of all the moms.”

She laughed and looked up at Silas. “Sorry to intrude. I’ll leave you kids alone. Come and find me tomorrow morning before you head out to feed.”

“Okay,” he said.

“Oh, it’s okay,” I said. “You go ahead and talk. I’d better get going anyway. I’m spending Christmas at the farmhouse with Jess and Gigi and I’ll need at least ten hours of sleep if I’m going to keep up with Rowen and Ben tomorrow.”

Behind me, Silas grumbled. I wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t want to talk to his mom or because I was leaving. I crossed my fingers for the latter. Regardless, I ignored him and went to the living room to collect my new gloves. I hated to leave before Silas and I could continue where we’d left off, but I didn’t want to stand in the way of him and his family working through their issues, especially before Christmas.

“Have a merry Christmas,” I said and waved good-bye. Olivia waved back while Silas followed me to the door. “Thanks for the gift.”

“You too.” His hands were planted on his hips. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. You guys should visit.”

“Yeah. It’s probably for the best. I told you that we’d take this slow.”

“Slow. Uh-huh.” I fought a lip curl. “So, I guess I’ll see you on New Year’s Day for skijoring?”

He nodded. “I’ll text you the details.”

“That gives me a week to figure out what skijoring actually is.”

“Wait. You don’t know?” I shook my head and he smirked. “Do me a favor and don’t look it up. I want to see your face when you see what it is.”

I gave him a sideways glance but agreed. “Okay.”

“Merry Christmas.” He bent down to brush his lips across my cheek.

I winked before walking out the door to my car. With my new gloves in hand and tingles on my cheek, it was shaping up to be a very merry Christmas.

Silas

“That didn’t take you long,” Mom said as I closed the door behind Felicity.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I turned around and crossed my arms.

“She’s been back for, what, a month or two? And she’s already here?”

“How is that a problem?”

She sighed. “It’s not for me. You know I’ll support you in whatever you decide, but your father is going to explode over this. He blames her for a lot, you leaving for the army, that rough patch we went through while you were gone. He’s not going to like seeing her here.”

“That’s ridiculous. It wasn’t her fault. I’ve told you both that a hundred times. I was considering the army before she—”

“—broke your heart?”

I scrubbed a hand over my face. “That was a long time ago, Mom.”

“I know but we remember what you were like that week after she left. I’ll never forget how lost and shattered you looked. Then you left and we didn’t know if you’d ever come home.” Her voice cracked and her eyes welled.

“I’m sorry, Mom.” I walked close and pulled her in for a hug. “I never meant to hurt you guys but I needed to get away.”

“I understand. It was just a scary time for us. A lot of sons didn’t come home back then and you’re all we have.”

“I know.” Mom and Dad had tried for more kids after I was born, but after two miscarriages, they’d stopped.

“Your dad loves you, Silas. He wants only the best for you. To him, she’s not it.”

I let her go and ran a hand through my hair. “Why?” How could he harbor such resentment toward Felicity? He didn’t even know her.

She shook her head. “He’s got his reasons.”

“Reasons,” I scoffed. “Are these the same reasons why he’s so damn determined to fight with me on everything too?”

“You know how he feels about change.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “I know.” Dad was a stubborn old mule.

“Just be prepared. This ongoing battle is going to get a whole lot worse when he learns that you’re chasing her again.” She pointed to the door.

“If I can get over it, why can’t he? She was eighteen years old, Mom.”

“I’m not saying you’re wrong and he’s right. Just be sure she’s the one.”

“I am.” I’d never been so sure of anything else. Felicity was mine, even if she didn’t know it yet.

“Then I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

“Get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” She kissed my cheek before walking out.

Mom was right. Son of a bitch. Dad would be relentless in his attacks against Felicity. He needed somewhere to point his finger and he’d pick her. But Lis was tough. She could take it.

At least I hoped so.

I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else than the Lucky Heart. This is where I wanted to raise my family and where I’d always pictured growing old. But if Dad drove Felicity away, he’d be seeing my back too.

Because no matter where she ran, I’d be racing right after her.

Whatever skijoring was, it was popular. The parking lot at the Jamison County Fairgrounds was packed. There were more cars than I’d ever seen here, including the busy nights I remembered from the county’s summer fair and carnival.

Though it had been akin to torture, I had done as Silas had asked and not looked up anything about skijoring this past week. I was assuming that the activity would be outdoors, so I had dressed in warm layers for the event even though the midmorning sun was shining brightly. Silas had warned me that the tournament would last through most of the day, so with my light gray beanie and matching mittens, I’d be prepared for the cooler temperatures of late afternoon.

Giving my hair one last primp in the rearview mirror, I swiped on another coat of lip gloss before making my way toward the arena. People were flowing toward the main entrance but I veered off to the left and into the lot designated for participants, where Silas had asked me to meet him.

Having no clue what to expect, I was shocked to see the staging lot full of large trucks and horse trailers. All of the men wandering around were bundled up in Western winter gear that consisted of canvas jackets, chaps and cowboy hats. Half of the men in the lot were leading around horses. The other half were carrying skis.

I’d never find Silas in the maze of trailers and trucks so I pulled out my phone. “Hi. I’m here. Where are you?”

“By my truck. I’ll come find you.”

“Okay. I’m by the entrance.”

I stood and people watched, enjoying the bustle and excitement of the crowd, until my eyes caught on a breathtaking sight. Silas came striding my way, dressed in the same fashion as everyone else, except that he looked nothing like the other men.

His black cowboy hat made the line of his jaw appear more pronounced and kissable. The emerald green silk scarf he’d wrapped around his throat made the color of his eyes more vibrant. His chaps hugged his powerful thighs while revealing his jeans underneath at the front and waist.

I swayed a little as I took him in until I realized—oh my god—I was staring at his penis like a drooling fool. But the way the denim creased as he walked hinted at the magnitude of what was beneath. I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

Stop staring at his penis, Felicity!

My eyes darted to his face just in time to see a sexy grin spread across his mouth. I waved and walked his way, hoping that my face wasn’t as red as it felt and that he hadn’t caught me ogling his package.

I’d never had a thing for cowboys before, and even though Silas was as cowboy as they came, he rarely dressed the part. But from now on, whenever I needed a happy thought, I was picturing him exactly like this.

Silas the Cowboy was off-the-charts sexy.

“Hi, there.” My words came out breathy and heated.

“Hi.” He bent to brush his lips against my cheek and my stomach fluttered. We hadn’t seen each other since Christmas Eve and the tingles from his kiss that night had just been starting to fade. Luckily, now I had them back.

“I’m just getting prepped. Nick should be here soon and then we can go in. Come hang out?”

I nodded and his gloved hand reached out and captured mine, pulling me by his side through the busy crowd. As we weaved between trailers and trucks, I saw a few familiar faces but mostly new ones. Silas, on the other hand, seemed to know everyone on the path to his truck.

“Is this a guy-only thing?” I hadn’t seen a single woman dressed like she was going to participate.

“No. There’s three or four female teams competing. Tina, the waitress from the café? Her team won the whole damn thing last year. She’s probably going to beat us all again and then never let us live it down.”

“Good for her.” I smiled and decided I was going to cheer for her to come in second place behind Silas and Nick.

“Do you want to meet my horse?” he asked.

A horse? “Um, okay.” Contrary to popular belief, not all Montanans had experience with horses. Having grown up in town, my exposure had been limited, and because of their size, I had always been a bit intimidated by the pretty animals. My admiration had been from afar.

“Stay here.” He opened the back door on the trailer and ducked inside. I shifted nervously from one foot to the other when the trailer shook and loud footsteps thundered from inside. Silas came out with a tall horse at his back. “Lis, meet Courage.”

Courage was as beautiful a horse as I’d ever seen. His buckskin coat was smooth and thick. His black mane sleeked down one side of his neck, while his matching tail swished up in the air.

“Hello, Courage.” I leaned back when he got close. His black eyes seemed to stare right through me and I was certain they could see my fear.

“Don’t be scared,” Silas said. “Come here.” He held out a hand and I hesitantly stepped to his side.

After pulling off one of my mittens, he took my hand in his and held it up to Courage’s nose. The horse sniffed my palm, then huffed out a hot breath on my skin, making me flinch and yank my hand back.

“Easy,” he said. “Just go easy. Try petting him right here.” Silas lifted my hand again and gently showed me how to stroke the soft hair on Courage’s round cheek. “Good?”

“You tell me. I don’t have much experience around horses.”

He smiled. “Don’t worry. We’ll fix that soon.”

I smiled back. The prospect of Silas teaching me about horses was something I was suddenly looking forward to, not that my excitement was really about the horses. As long as I got to be with him, he could teach me about the proper way to shovel shit and I’d love it.

When my petting was done, I eased away from the horse. Silas began saddling Courage and I took the opportunity to check him out again.

Those chaps? Damn. I wasn’t sure if the front view or the back view was better. They sat in just the right place to highlight the curves of his behind.

“Felicity!” I begrudgingly turned away from the view. Emmeline waved as she and Nick walked my way.

“This is going to be epic,” Nick said after we’d all exchanged hellos.

Emmeline rolled her eyes. “Epically ridiculous. You’re going to hurt yourself trying to compete against twenty-year-olds. Felicity, can you believe that they’re going to—”

“Don’t tell her!” Silas shouted from the side of the horse trailer. “She has no idea what skijoring is and I want to see her face when she figures it out.”

“Seriously?” Nick asked.

“Yep. It’s taken every ounce of my willpower not to Google it the minute I showed up and saw the horses.”

Emmeline and Nick shared a look, then both burst out laughing.

Twenty minutes later, Emmeline and I followed Silas, leading Courage, and Nick, carrying snow skis, toward the arena.

“How are you so calm?” Emmeline asked. “I hate surprises. I’d be freaking out right now.”

“Years of practice,” I said. “Jess and all his friends, including Silas, used to love nothing more than to torment me. One of their favorite things to do was tell me we were doing one thing and then surprise me with something completely different. I had no choice but to learn to just go with it. That’s what Silas always told me. ‘Just go with it.’ ”

She shook her head. “That sounds like my personal nightmare.”

As we approached the gate to the main entrance, Silas handed Courage’s lead rope to Nick. “Be right back.” Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he steered me through the masses of people shuffling up the ramp and into the stands.

“When did all of this get added?” I pointed to the tower of bleachers that separated the entrance from the arena itself.

“A couple of years ago. Between this event and the rodeo, the fairgrounds have been drawing bigger and bigger crowds each year. The county commissioners finally decided that those old wooden benches weren’t going to cut it anymore. Now they even do concerts in the summer.”

“As long as the band isn’t death metal, they can count on me to come. I love outdoor concerts.”

“Me too. I’ll bring you to one.”

As a date? I smiled but didn’t ask.

We passed a concession stand filled with snacks and a beer garden packed with people before Silas stopped me in front of the chain-link fence that encompassed the arena.

“That’s skijoring,” he said, poking a finger through one of the holes.

“Oh my god!” I laughed. “That. Is. Awesome!”

The arena had been filled with snow, an oval track smoothed in the middle, while large jumps and bumps formed an outer ring.

“Watch, over there.” Silas pointed toward the shoots and corrals at the far end of the arena where a two-man team was setting up to practice the course. One man was riding his horse while towing a skier on a rope along behind him. The skier went bouncing and flying over the many jumps, trying to stay on his skis, while the horse and rider sped along the center circle.

When the skier stumbled on the corner and crashed into a stack of hay bales, I knew why Emmeline thought Nick could hurt himself. The poor guy that had just crashed had been going very fast and had fallen very hard.

“Cheer for me?” Silas asked.

“You got it. Though I wish I had brought my air horn.”

Smiling and laughing, we walked back to Nick and Emmeline so the men could get lined up for their own practice run.

“Shall we go in?” Emmeline asked.

“Let’s do this.”

We shuffled up the ramp and then turned to the nearly full stand of bleachers.

“Felicity! Emmeline!” Up several rows, Gigi and Maisy were waving wildly at us to join them.

“Hey! Where’s Jess and the kids?” I asked Gigi when I settled onto the cold metal bench next to her.

“Jess is down there checking in with Milo and Bryant.” Gigi pointed to the arena floor, where my brother was visiting with his uniformed deputies. “And the kids are all at the Holts’ house. Maisy’s mom volunteered to watch them all so we could have some fun.”

“Nice. I’m so excited. I cannot wait to see this.”

She smiled. “Me either.”

“Do you guys want drinks? I was thinking of braving the line at the beer gardens before the guys have their turn.”

“Water for me,” Emmeline said, rubbing her protruding belly.

“I want beer,” Maisy said, standing. “I’ll go with you to help carry drinks.”

“Gigi?” I winked, curious how she’d play this. As far as I knew, no one but me, Jess and Mom knew she was expecting.

“Water for me. I’m pregnant,” she blurted.

Maisy and Emmeline started screaming and giving her hugs while I stood back with a wide smile. Gigi and Jess deserved every minute of their happiness.

Thinking of my brother, I glanced over my shoulder to see him looking back up at us with a grin on his face. No doubt he’d heard the joyous shouts and knew that his wife had spilled their secret.

“How was Christmas?” I asked Maisy as we walked down the stairs to get our beers.

“So good. Coby was too little to understand it last year but he was all about it this time around. He got spoiled.”

“Wait for us!” I stopped on the bottom step and turned to see Gigi and Emmeline carefully descending. “We decided to come with you too. The pregnant women are hungry, go figure.”

Standing in line at the snack stand, we chatted and laughed. I was amazed at how much more at ease I felt today than I had during the party at Slater’s Station. I didn’t feel like an outsider with these women because I wasn’t married or didn’t have my own children. Instead, I felt lucky that I was getting to know them and they had pulled me into their tight circle without reserve.

Today was going to be—what had Nick said?—epic.

After we’d loaded up on food, we all meandered to the beer garden.

“Felicity!” Andrea was rushing toward our spot in line.

Now less epic.

“Hi.” I was suspicious of the smile on her face.

Behind me, Gigi muttered, “Eff.”

“I was hoping to run into you today.” Andrea wrapped me up in an awkward-for-me hug.

“Uh, okay.” I hadn’t seen her since the night she’d met Tyson, and at any moment, I was expecting her to slap me in the face because I’d set her up with a cheating bastard.

“I am just so grateful that you introduced me to Tyson,” she said. “I don’t know if you’ve heard or not, but we’re engaged!” She shoved her enormous diamond ring in my face.

“Congratulations?” I was so shocked that it came out as a question.

“Can you believe it?” She started bouncing up and down. “It’s all happening so fast but we both feel like we shouldn’t waste any time. I’m moving to Seattle in a couple of weeks so we can plan the wedding. We’re thinking of doing something exclusive in Mexico or Belize.”

“Well . . . great, I guess. I’m happy for you, Andrea.” If she and Tyson really loved one another, then I sincerely wished them all the best, though I did feel a smidgeon of guilt for not being up front with her about his womanizing ways.

Should I tell her about him?

“And I can’t wait to be in the city, where the women aren’t all bitches and sluts.” She aimed a vicious glare over my shoulder at Gigi, Maisy and Emmeline.

Nope. She can learn all about Tyson the hard way.

“Well, good luck to you both!” With a saccharine smile, I said good-bye.

The second she was gone, my ears filled with cheers and whistles. Behind me, the girls were whooping it up. “I can see you are all depressed that she’s leaving town.”

“I’m buying your beer,” Emmeline said. “And you’ve got free oil changes at Nick’s garage until the end of time.”

Maisy nodded. “Any and all future stays at the motel are on the house.”

“If we hadn’t already decided on names for this baby, I’d name this one after you,” Gigi said, patting her tummy.

I laughed. “No thanks needed. It’s payment enough that I’ll never have to hear from her or Tyson again.”

“This is going to be an awesome day,” Gigi said.

“Hell, yes,” I agreed.

Overloaded with beverages and snacks, we went back into the stands and again found our seats. When Jess joined us, he tucked Gigi into his side. “They’re up next for a practice run.”

I glued my eyes to the starting line, excited to see the guys attempt to do this. In the short time we’d been sitting, I’d watched three different skiers crash fantastically. Only one, and a woman at that, had made it through the whole course without a fall. But regardless of the track fails, all of the participants seemed to be enjoying the fun.

“There they are,” Emmeline gasped, reaching out to grip my arm. Her face paled and she was stroking her baby belly.

“Is everything okay?”

“I’m just nervous and worried that Nick is going to break a leg right before we have the baby.”

Her fingers on my forearm tightened until Nick and Silas finally came through the gates and set up at the starting line. At the sight of her husband, Emmeline’s entire frame relaxed.

Nick clicked on his skis and grabbed the rope that dragged behind Courage. He gave Silas a mischievous smirk before waving to Emmeline. When he flipped off his baseball cap and turned it backward on his head, Emmeline actually swooned.

Silas looked up to me and tipped the brim of his cowboy hat. One gesture and I practically melted. I might have swooned a little myself.

“Okay. What’s going on?” Gigi asked.

“Huh?” I tore my eyes away from Silas.

“You and Silas? What’s going on?”

I shrugged. If I had a better idea, I would have told her. But as it was, I was still a little confused so I stayed silent.

She narrowed her eyes. “Your brother does that too and I hate it.”

“Does what?” I asked.

“Answers a question without an actual verbal answer.”

I grinned. “Where do you think I learned it?”

We both laughed and turned back to the arena.

With Courage positioned in the center ring, Silas nodded at the official. My heart raced and I held my breath as we waited for the starting buzzer. At its loud beep, Silas spurred Courage’s side and off they raced, Nick’s rope snapping tight as he shot off behind them.

He bounced over three small bumps, then sailed over one of the large jumps before they whipped around a wide curve and raced back toward the finish line. Nick yelled out and Silas urged Courage on even faster as they hit the final stretch. They were flying by the time they vanished from the ring and through the finishing gate.

The red numbers on the electronic board flashed 21.3 seconds, the fastest time we’d seen in any of the practice rounds.

We all shot off the bench seat and cheered, hooting and hollering as Nick walked back through the arena gates with Silas following on Courage.

God, he was sexy.

He leaned forward in his saddle, confident and comfortable. The grin on his face was contagious and I smiled like a fool for the rest of the day, enjoying the time with my friends as we watched the competition. Silas and Nick ended up in second place overall, having lost to none other than Tina the waitress’s team.

“Nice work,” I told Silas when we all met him and Nick back at the horse trailer.

He smiled and draped his silver medal over my head. “Thanks. I won this just for you.”

I fanned my face, feigning dramatics. “I’ll wear it always.” With a yank on my arm, the girls literally pulled me into their huddle to discuss dinner plans.

“How about the café?” Gigi asked.

“I ate there yesterday,” Maisy said.

“Chinese?” Emmeline suggested.

“I could eat an egg roll or twelve.” The hot dog and popcorn I’d had for lunch had long since burned away and I was famished.

“Chinese,” Gigi said. “And break.”

Maisy and Gigi left to collect Jess while Emmeline waddled to Nick’s side. While we stood waiting for Silas to stow away Courage, I started people watching.

One group of men were fishing beers out of a cooler and settling into camp chairs for what appeared to be a long evening of drinking in the cold. At first, I didn’t recognize anyone in their group but then my eyes zeroed in on a familiar face.

Derrick Olson was sprawled out in a faded blue camp chair.

“Maisy? Isn’t that Derrick Olson?” I asked, pointing to Khloe’s husband.

She glanced over her shoulder and nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

“Oh, no reason,” I lied. “I knew him in high school but he’s changed so I wasn’t sure.”

That last part was true. Derrick had filled out his once-lanky frame with beefy muscle. His hair was much longer than it had been in high school and was styled heavily toward the front, likely to hide the beginnings of a receding hair line.

When a woman walked past their group, his eyes locked on her breasts. When she passed his chair, he reached out a hand and “accidentally” brushed her ass.

Pig.

Derrick hadn’t changed a bit since high school.

I scanned the crowd, looking for Khloe, but couldn’t find her. If Derrick had left her at home alone, could this be my chance to break through with her? Maybe with him away she’d be more willing to open up to me.

“Are you okay?” Silas stepped up to my side.

“Yeah!” I said a little too loudly. “Sounds like we’re all going to the Chinese restaurant. I just need to run a quick errand first. Meet you there?”

His eyes narrowed. He knew I was up to something but he didn’t push.

“Great job today,” I said. “I had fun.”

“Yeah, good times. Thanks for coming. Nick has convinced me to build a course out on the ranch so we can practice. Next year, that trophy will be mine.”

I winked good-bye and snuck away from the group, hustling to my car.

Speeding through town, I followed my GPS to the Olsons’, a newer home built in a small development next to the river.

I had no idea if Khloe would talk to me but there was only one way to find out. I parked and wasted no time marching up to the house and knocking. When Khloe’s eyes peeked through the door’s window, she paled and ducked away.

“Khloe, please. I just wanted to check on you,” I said to the closed door. “If you can honestly tell me you’re okay and that the reason you’ve been ignoring my calls is because you hate my guts, I promise to leave you alone forever. I’m only visiting because I’m worried.”

I held my breath and listened, hoping to hear the unlocking door and not her retreating footsteps. When the knob twisted, I sagged and blew out a loud breath.

Khloe kept her chin down and only showed me one side of her face as she cracked open the door. “I’m fine. Okay? I don’t hate your guts but I just don’t have time for friends right now.”

“All right. I’m sorry to have been bothering you.”

“It’s okay.”

“If your schedule opens up, please keep me in mind?”

She nodded and started to close the door.

“I, uh, saw Derrick at the fairgrounds,” I blurted. “He was just hanging out. Having a few beers. He reminded me a lot of the same guy I knew in high school. The one that got a little . . . rough.” I was pushing but I hoped that by hinting at my suspicions, she’d realize that she wasn’t fooling me.

My tactic worked. She stood straight and revealed her full face. The cheek that she’d been hiding was covered in a round, red welt and her bottom lip had a fresh split.

My first instinct was to call Jess, have him arrest Derrick for being the wife-beating piece of shit that he was, but I pulled back that urge. Khloe would have to be fully on board for Derrick to stay in jail. If she wasn’t ready for that yet, my meddling would only make things worse. So I did the only thing I could. I reminded my friend that I was here for her.

I clenched my fists to keep from fussing over her injury. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Her eyes filled with tears as she shook her head. “No.”

“Can I help?”

She shook her head again and dropped her eyes to the floor.

“Will you call me if I can?”

Her head bobbed.

“Happy New Year.” I touched her shoulder.

She looked up and gave me a half smile. “Same to you.”

I waved good-bye and walked briskly back to my car. Given how comfortable Derrick had looked at the fairgrounds, I wasn’t expecting to bump into him on my way out, but I also didn’t want to risk it. Who knew what he’d do to Khloe if he caught me visiting her?

As I drove to the Chinese restaurant, I was torn between savoring my victory at finally getting through with Khloe and worrying about her safety. There wasn’t much I could do if she didn’t want my help, but today I’d made progress.

I hadn’t gotten a full-fledged confession but I’d cracked her walls. Derrick was beating her. And she knew that I knew.

Now I just had to be patient and hope that soon she’d be ready to free herself from his abuse. Because when that time came, I’d prove to her that I was a friend she could count on.

I hadn’t seen the signs that Wes had been in trouble. I hadn’t done anything to save him from his demise.

I wouldn’t make that same mistake with Khloe.

“That was a waste of five dollars.”

I tossed my Cosmopolitan on the coffee table and face-planted into a throw pillow on my couch. I had bought the magazine earlier today because it featured an article on the benefits of taking a new relationship slowly.

Hogwash.

I had experienced all of the alleged benefits and could attest that they were definitely not beneficial. It was the middle of February, and Silas and I were stuck in the same place we had been six weeks ago: undefined.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t had opportunities to make his move, since we’d been spending plenty of time together. At least twice a week, we’d meet for dinner, and one night last week, he’d taken me to a movie. Yet here I was, sexually frustrated and confused. No kisses. No hand-holding. Nothing. All I got was the occasional hug.

Were we back to being just friends? Had he changed his mind about us?

There was no time to dwell on it now. I heard the sound of his truck pull into my driveway and then the chime of my doorbell. I pushed up off the couch and grabbed my magazine, searching around for a hiding place. When it was safely tucked under a cushion, I yelled, “Come on in!”

“Hey.” He closed the door behind him. “Ready?”

“Yeah. Let me just run upstairs and grab my shoes.”

Tonight, Silas was taking me out to dinner at The Black Bull, a nice steakhouse a little way out of town. It wasn’t casual like the café or the deli downtown where we had been going. The Black Bull was the type of restaurant where a man would take a date.

Was this a date? I hadn’t a fucking clue. Regardless, I wore heels in case it was.

Silas was staring at the pictures on my fireplace mantel. “All set.” He didn’t move at my announcement, just kept his eyes glued to a frame. His jaw was clenched tightly and his nostrils were flaring.

That wasn’t a good sign.

I walked behind him. He was glaring at the picture of me and Wes from high school, the one that Jack had given me when I’d gone to the farm for dinner months ago.

“Silas?” I touched his elbow.

He flinched and looked down to me. “Sorry,” he muttered, his face relaxing.

“It’s fine. Are you okay?”

“All good.” That was a lie, but I didn’t push him for the truth. Strange. Why would seeing Wes’s picture bother him so much? “Ready?”

I nodded and followed him outside.

“How was your day?” I asked as we drove to the restaurant.

“Long. I was out all day in the cold, checking cows. I ended up having to bring one into the barn. I can’t tell if her calf is breeched or what so I’ll be up all night checking on her. Then I’ll do it all over again tomorrow.”

This was the first time Silas had seemed disheartened about his ranch work. He’d complain about dirty jobs here and there or tell me about arguments with his dad, but tonight, he sounded worn-out and stressed. I was guessing a lot of it was his lack of help.

“We should skip the restaurant,” I said. “I can hang out at home tonight since you’re tired. Or if you want, we could just pick up a pizza and head to the ranch. I’ll keep you company while you work.”

My motivations for offering to go with him weren’t entirely unselfish. The last time I’d been at his place, he had almost kissed me. Maybe back in a private setting, he would feel more comfortable accelerating our relationship. And if nothing happened, I’d know I had been friend-zoned.

“You’re all dressed up.” He grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with mine.

Tingles spread from my palm up to my shoulder. Whoop whoop! Friends did not hold hands like this. “I’m in jeans and a blouse. Lend me a sweatshirt before we walk into the barn and I’ll be just fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Only if you let me pick the pizza toppings.”

He squeezed my hand and smiled. “Just no onions.”

I turned my face to my window to hide my smile. Though I had been looking forward to a nice dinner, spending the night at Silas’s place, eating pizza and, hopefully, cozying up on the couch together would be exponentially better.

An hour later, my bare feet were tucked under my rear in the couch as I ate a slice of pepperoni from the plate on my lap.

“How’d your meeting with Rob go?”

“Good.” I nodded. “Really good. I think we’ve landed on a price.”

“No shit? That’s awesome. Congrats.”

I had met Rob Jordan, Prescott’s realtor, shortly after New Year’s, and he’d immediately taken me under his wing. He had let me accompany him on a couple of showings and I’d known after the first that I’d chosen the right career path.

Since then, Rob and I had been negotiating the price of a partnership, and today, we’d finally come to an agreement that wouldn’t wipe out my savings. I had already finished the licensing course. Now the only hurdle left to jump was taking the actual exam. In two weeks, assuming I passed, I would officially be a realtor and half owner of Jamison Valley Real Estate. Rob would be focusing on land sales and commercial properties while I brokered all of the residential properties. I hadn’t been this excited about a job since I was fresh out of college.

“It’s all because you gave me that tip at Christmas.”

“Nah. It’s all because of you.”

I looked to my plate to hide my blushing cheeks. “Thanks.”

Silas had never been shy about giving me praise, and every time he did, it felt like more than just a friendly compliment. There was an intimacy behind his words.

“When do you take your test?” he asked.

“On Thursday next week. I wrapped up one of my consulting projects today, and the last one should be done by the end of the week. That’ll give me a few days with nothing to do but cram.”

“You’ll crush it.”

Another smile.

“Any word from Dr. McDreamy?” he grumbled.

I laughed and nearly choked on a bite. “Dr. McDreamy?” I repeated after swallowing. “Silas Grant, are you a closet Grey’s Anatomy fan?”

“No,” he huffed. “Mom loves that fucking show. She’s always got reruns on.”

“Sure, blame it on your mom,” I joked. “Well, you’re right about one thing. Dr. Faraday is dreamy.” I fanned myself. He was so jealous of Dr. Faraday that I couldn’t help but tease.

“Did you hear from him or not?” He poked me in the side.

I giggled and swatted his hand away. “No. We haven’t heard anything back yet.”

Mom had gotten her tests done in January but they’d showed no abnormalities that could be causing her spacey moments. Dr. Faraday suspected that she had a form of dementia, maybe even a mild case of Alzheimer’s, and was currently researching treatment possibilities.

“Want another slice?” Silas asked.

I nodded and handed him my empty plate. “When do we have to go check on that cow?”

He pulled out his phone from his jeans pocket. “An hour. I set an alarm so I wouldn’t lose track of time. Do you want to watch a movie until then?”

“Sure. Can I pick?”

He pointed to the cabinet under the TV. “I get one veto.”

“You won’t need it. My taste in movies is impeccable.”

“Says the woman obsessed with bad eighties films.”

I pouted and leapt off the couch. “That hurts.”

Opening the cabinet drawer, I sat on the floor and inspected his collection. Just as I had suspected, westerns and action films. I loaded up Open Range, turned the TV on and went back to the couch.

“Nice choice,” Silas said when the opening credits came on the screen.

“Told you so. Kevin Costner and Robert Duvall are two of the best. ‘How about I hold your head under water for just a little while?’ ” I quoted in my best man-voice. “I love that line. I say it to Sabrina as often as I can.”

He chuckled. “Who’s Sabrina?”

“My best friend. She’s a real kick. I’ve been begging her to come out and visit.”

“I’ll look forward to meeting her.”

“Does that mean you’re going to keep me around?”

I held my breath and waited for his answer. I was fishing for something, anything. I needed a little verbal reassurance that what we had wouldn’t soon fizzle out when he’d gotten bored with me.

He set his plate aside, then did the same with mine. His arms reached for me, and with one strong pull, he slid me across the couch and into his side.

“Yeah. I’m keeping you around.” With the hand not wrapped around my shoulders, he handed me back my plate.

“Good.” I relaxed and burrowed further into his side.

We turned our attention to the movie, and though my eyes were aimed at the screen, I wasn’t really watching. My heart was soaring through the clouds. Silas and I were cuddling!

For two people that had had sex numerous times, it was strange for our relationship to be progressing at a snail’s pace, but given that we were both trying to overcome the past, it was for the best. We were getting reacquainted with one another. We were connecting emotionally. The physical part could come later.

Slow is good. Have patience. When Silas was ready, he’d claim me. I just had to wait until he thought the time was right.

The movie progressed and I struggled to keep my breathing steady. Just because my mind had decided to let him take the lead didn’t mean my body was on board with the plan. The sexual tension between us was heavy and tempting. Silas felt it too. He was forcefully restraining himself, his teeth audibly grinding together, but he never made a move.

If he hadn’t done anything yet, he probably wasn’t going to. Tonight wasn’t the night for us to sprint forward. Fine. Great. Grand. I’d do what my magazine had advised and savor the slow burn. Yeah, right.

Just when I’d resigned myself to watching the movie, Silas’s hand slid across my cheek. His face bent close as his thumb stroked my skin. My pulse was racing and I fought the urge to close that final inch between us.

His lips were right there. Inviting me. Begging me. I had almost given into their lure when the shrill sound of Silas’s alarm filled the room.

Seriously?

Silas leaned away, grumbling under his breath while silencing the alarm.

“Time to head to the barn?” I tried to hide my disappointment behind false cheer.

He sighed. “Yeah. You can stay here if you want.”

“I’d like to go with you, if that’s okay.”

“Of course. Let me grab you a sweatshirt.” He jogged up the stairs against the back wall of the loft and rifled through his closet while I took a few moments to collect myself.

Don’t be in a rush, Felicity. I couldn’t let myself get frustrated and pushy. Silas wanted to take this slow and I could give him that, even though it was killing me.

When he came back downstairs, he handed me an old green sweatshirt. Across the front was the logo for our high school.

“I haven’t worn a Prescott High Mustangs sweatshirt in years. Awesome!”

He grinned. “Figured you’d like that one.”

I pulled it over my head and took a deep breath, inhaling the lingering smell of fabric softener and Silas. The chances of him ever getting this sweatshirt back were slim to none.

“Shit. I should have thought about shoes.” I looked down at my bare feet and realized I only had the heels that I’d worn for dinner.

“Oh, uh, I got you something.” Silas rubbed the back of his neck as he walked to the laundry room.

I followed, watching as he reached in and pulled out a pair of brand-new, black, knee-high rubber boots. The soles were heavy with thick tread, perfect for working outside in the mud and dirt.

I choked down the lump in my throat. “Muck boots? You got these for me?” I’d been eyeing this exact pair at the sporting-goods store but they weren’t cheap, and since I had been unsure of my employment situation, I had passed them up. I was beyond touched that Silas had thought to get them for me.

These completely unattractive, yet highly functional boots were an incredibly thoughtful gift. Silas always took care of me. On the worst nights of my life, he’d never let me down. My chest felt too small for my heart and I struggled to breathe.

“What?” he whispered. “Is that not okay?”

I shook my head. “No! No, they’re wonderful. Thank you.”

“The least I could do is get you some boots so your fancy shoes don’t get wrecked. I’m grateful that you offered to help me out here. It means a lot.”

“Really?” I whispered. “You don’t think I’m just some silly city girl who’s going to get in your way?”

He tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “Really.”

I smiled and took my boots so I wouldn’t be tempted to kiss him. “They’re perfect. Just my size even.”

“Do you want some socks?”

“No, they’ll be fine just like this. Let me grab my gloves.” I dug through my purse and pulled out the gloves that Silas had gotten me for Christmas. They didn’t go with any of my coats but I still carried them everywhere.

Silas stepped into his own muck boots and grabbed a worn flannel coat from the closet by the door. He trapped his hair under a baseball hat and pulled on the gloves that I’d gotten for him. The cold air blasted me in the face as we walked outside and around to the front of the barn.

“So when we get in there, just hang back a bit while I check her out. Just like with horses, the key is to go slow and easy.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

He slid open one of the large wooden doors to the barn and closed it behind me. The smell of straw and leather filled my nose. The barn was wide, long and surprisingly clean. It was hard to believe that just beyond the stack of hay at the far wall was Silas’s apartment.

On the left side was a row of wooden stalls. The right side was lined with tool shelves and hooks full of ropes, chains and leather straps. Saddles rested on wooden posts bolted to the wall.

I followed Silas to the second stall where a huge, black cow was standing. About three stalls down, Courage poked his head out. “Where are your other horses?”

He chuckled. “You don’t have to whisper. And they’re all outside. We only bring them in if we’re going to ride. I’ve been taking Courage out to check cows, so he gets to stay inside where it’s warm. He likes it because he gets spoiled with grain and I think Mom’s been sneaking him apples.”

Silas slowly opened the stall’s gate and eased in next to the cow. He started feeling her side, then moved to her rear where some gross stuff was happening. While he did his inspection, I went back to inspecting the barn.

Each time my gaze landed on Courage, he was staring at me with disapproval. It was like he was calling me a chicken. I’d finally had enough so I made a face and stuck my tongue out at him. So there, horse. He snorted a loud breath, which made me jump. Damn it. One-upped by a beast.

When the stall gate squeaked, I looked back to Silas. His eyebrows were creased together. “This calf is backward. I’m going to have to pull it.”

“Pull it? Like pull it out of her?” I asked with wide eyes.

“Yeah.” He walked to the wall and collected a set of chains. “I could use some help with these. Think you can stomach it? It’s fine if you can’t. I’ll just run inside and get Mom or Dad to help.”

“I-I can help,” I stuttered.

“That’s my Lis.” His sentiment and sexy grin did a lot to calm my nerves.

I had no idea what to expect but I wouldn’t let him down. Besides, I wasn’t really a queasy person. I’d spent way too much time in the hospital with my mom to be scared by the sight of blood and bodily fluids anymore.

Silas led me into the stall and handed me a set of small silver chains. “Stand right there at her side and hand those over when I tell you. I’m also going to have you hold her tail out of the way. Okay?” I nodded and my jaw dropped as he pulled on a pair of plastic gloves that went all the way to his shoulders.

Holy hell. What had I gotten myself into?

Fifteen minutes and a lot of slimy goo later, an adorable, little, black calf was lying on a bed of straw beneath his mother’s feet.

“He’s so cute! I love him. Can he come live with me at my house? I’ll name him Pete.” I was leaning over the stall’s gate, completely enamored by the baby animal.

Silas chuckled as he finished washing up at a sink in the corner. He joined me at the railing and nudged me playfully with his shoulder. “Thanks for your help.”

“Uh, sure. I didn’t really do anything.” All I’d done was hand him the chains when he’d asked. He had looped them around the calf’s tiny hooves so he could help it out. “How’s the mama cow doing? I can’t believe she didn’t make a sound or anything.” I had expected to hear something as she birthed her baby but she’d just stood there quietly and let it happen.

“She’ll be fine,” he said. “Cattle are incredibly tough animals.”

“I’ve never seen one so little before.”

“He’s a cute one.”

“Now what?”

“Now we hang out for a bit. Make sure he takes a teat. Then do a lap through the calving pasture to make sure all the other cows are in good shape.”

“Sounds good.”

We stood in silence for a while, watching as the little calf slowly got up on his wobbly knees and stumbled over toward his mother to nurse. I had never witnessed something so miraculous before. Yes, it was just a cow, but still, I had watched a new life come into this world tonight.

“Do you still love it? Ranching?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Things would be better if Dad and I were getting along and we had more help, but I can’t see myself doing anything else.”

“What do you love most about it?”

He thought on my question for a few moments before answering. “The land and the animals. The purity of producing something tangible with my own hands. That, and being a steward to the land. I like that I’m helping to feed people. When I was in Iraq, I saw a lot of people without much. Women. Kids. We’re not feeding the world or anything, but I like our purpose.”

“You’re a good guy, Silas Grant.” The best, actually.

His eyes softened and he trailed his fingers across my cheek, leaving tingles in their wake. I pushed off the railing, standing tall to stare into his eyes. They were darker than normal and full of heat. I imagined mine were much the same.

Again, his hand came to my cheek but this time his fingertips didn’t stop. They traveled up and across my forehead, then lightly down the bridge of my nose to the tip.

When they traced my top lip, a shiver rippled down my spine. His fingers rubbed a little harder against my bottom lip and it fell open with a hitched breath. Even though he’d only touched my face, my entire body had come alive. The throbbing between my legs had me swaying slightly on my feet.

“Lis,” he whispered, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. If I spoke, it might make him take his fingers away from my lips. I didn’t want to risk losing them, not until his lips were there instead. So instead of telling him how much I desperately wanted his kiss, I just nodded.

His other hand came up and framed my cheek. I leaned my head into his palm, giving him its weight. His mouth inched down toward mine. The soft and gentle brush of his lips was almost torture but I didn’t push for more. I stood unmoving as they glided across my top lip and then my bottom, just like his fingers had done.

We were both panting when Silas’s lips finally parted against mine. His tongue darted out and I’d barely felt its warm, wet touch when a dog started barking outside and headlights flashed through the crack underneath the sliding barn doors.

Silas growled “fuck” against my mouth before pulling back and turning to the door.

No! The universe was playing a sick and twisted joke on me.

After catching my breath, I followed Silas out into the cold night. The bright headlights were aimed right at us so all I could make out of this visitor was his silhouette. His frame was tall and broad, reminding me somewhat of my brother’s.

“Hey, princess,” the man called.

Was he talking to me? I had no idea who this person was but Silas was grinning as he said, “Hey, cupcake.”

The visitor stepped in front of the car’s beam and I could finally make out his handsome face. He had black hair and dark eyes framed with long lashes. His stubble was at least a week old and he looked to have some Hispanic heritage.

He was not a relative. Maybe an old friend?

The men stared at one another for a moment until they both started laughing. They shook hands, and after a few pumps, Silas pulled the man in for a back-slapping hug.

“Good to see you, man,” Silas said.

“Good to be seen.”

“Come inside.” Silas grabbed my hand and tugged me along as he led us all to his loft.

When we got inside, I stepped out of my dirty boots while Silas did the same. As the men shrugged off their coats, I got a better look at “Cupcake’s” face. On one side was a huge scar that went from his temple all the way down his jaw to his chin.

“Felicity, this is Paxon Montero. We were in the army together,” Silas said.

“Nice to meet you.” I smiled and extended my hand.

“Felicity? The Felicity?” Paxon was shaking my hand but looking at Silas.

Uh-oh. The inflection in Paxon’s voice told me that being “The Felicity” wasn’t good. It made sense. Silas and I had just recently reconnected and I doubted he’d called his army buddies to keep them apprised of his love life. But this was just what I didn’t need. Now, in addition to all the other agenda items on Felicity’s Journey Home, I had to try and win over one of Silas’s friends. I needed to start ticking items off my list, not adding to it.

“Well,” Paxon said, turning his attention back to me. He still hadn’t let go of my hand. “This is going to be interesting.”

“What brings you to Montana, Pax?” Silas asked.

We were all standing around his island drinking a beer after Silas had returned from his lap through the pasture to check on the cows. The thirty minutes that he had been gone, Paxon and I had waited together. Awkwardly. He’d walked around Silas’s home, checking it out while I’d sat on the couch and stared at the blank TV. At first, I’d tried to make small talk but all of the questions that I’d asked were returned with grunts and muted “Uh-huhs,” so I’d finally given up.

Damn me for not driving my car here tonight. I desperately wanted to escape.

“I discharged last month,” Paxon said. “Then went home to LA for a bit but it was too loud. Lots of chaos, and I needed to be somewhere quieter.”

“Understood.” Silas’s tone spoke volumes. He’d said that he’d had a rough couple of years after he’d first come home so I figured Paxon was going through that as well. If he needed quiet, he’d come to the right place. Prescott was about as opposite from Los Angeles as he could get.

“How long are you here for?”

Paxon grinned. “Depends on how long it takes you to kick me out.”

“Stay as long as you want,” Silas said immediately. “Where are you staying?”

Paxon tipped his head toward Silas’s couch. “Care if I crash there for a night or two?”

“It’s all yours, man. For as long as you need.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it. Got any work around here you need help with?”

Silas huffed. “More than enough. If you feel like pitching in, I’d be grateful.”

“You got it,” Paxon said, then turned to me. “What about you, Felicity? Are you helping out too?”

I hated the way he sneered my name. It took every ounce of willpower not to sneer his in return. I opened my mouth to answer his question—nicely—but Silas stepped closer to my side and threw an arm around my shoulders, answering Paxon first. “She is. Tonight she helped me pull a calf.”

Paxon glared at Silas’s hand clamped on my bicep, but smiled when he looked back at Silas. “It will be fun to reminisce. Talk about old times. Remember that time we were on leave in Seattle and you hooked up with that bartender? That was an awesome trip. What was her name again?”

I flinched and Silas’s arm banded tight. Ouch. I wasn’t sure what hurt worse, hearing that Silas had come to Seattle and hadn’t bothered to look me up or that Silas had come to Seattle and had sex with another woman.

The latter. Definitely.

I hated thinking about Silas with other women. He hadn’t stayed celibate during our years apart; neither had I. But the mental picture of the man I loved with anyone else was not easy to see.

And thanks to Paxon, that image was now front and center. “Asshole,” I muttered.

Paxon opened his mouth, but Silas shut him up with a menacing “Pax.” They glared at each other for a minute until Pax finally lifted up his hands, giving in.

Escape. I needed an escape. If Paxon was staying here, I was not.

I inhaled a deep breath and faked a yawn. “I’m getting tired.” I looked up at Silas. “You guys should catch up. Would you mind taking me home? I’m beat and I need to work tomorrow.” When he frowned, I begged, “Please?”

He sighed. “Okay.”

Paxon didn’t give us the choice to go alone. I insisted on riding in the backseat, where I stayed silent during the trip into town. The two of them chatted about their former squad members while I stared out my window.

“How about I buy you a drink?” Paxon asked Silas as we rolled down Main Street. “I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t hit the . . . Silver Dollar Saloon,” he read from the bar’s neon sign.

Silas chuckled. “Sounds good. Felicity?” His eyes tipped to the rearview mirror.

“No, thank you.” I faked another yawn. “Maybe some other time.”

When he pulled into my drive, I breathed a sigh of relief. Ironic, wasn’t it? An hour ago, I never would have asked to leave Silas’s side. Now I was more than ready to be home alone.

“Thanks for the pizza. Nice to meet you, Paxon,” I said, opening the door. My polite farewell earned me another rude grunt. “Or not.”

“I’ll call you later.” Silas reached a hand back to squeeze my knee before I waved and jumped out of the truck.

I didn’t waste any time getting ready for bed and crawling beneath my heavy comforter. Though it could have ended on a much better note, one good thing had come from the evening.

I still had Silas’s sweatshirt.

“So? How’d it go?” Silas asked when I answered his call.

I turned my car down Main Street, smiling. “Great. I aced it.”

“I knew you would.” I couldn’t see it, but I knew he was smiling too. “Pax and I are going to the café for dinner tonight. Meet us there? I’ll buy you a congratulatory bacon cheeseburger.”

My lip curled at the thought of seeing Paxon. Not only had he been an asshole to me but he’d also been occupying all of Silas’s time. I hadn’t seen Silas since the night Paxon had arrived, and though I missed Silas’s company, I had no desire to celebrate anything in Paxon’s presence.

“I’d be a horrible dinner guest. I’m exhausted from the trip so I think I’m going to swing into Maple’s for a hot chocolate and then go home to watch TV. I’ll probably fall asleep on the couch.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie. I was tired. I’d gotten up before dawn to drive the four hours to Missoula, where the realtor licensing exam had been administered. My early morning alarm paired with the stress of the actual test, plus the drive back, had drained all my energy reserves. I was looking forward to a relaxing evening in my sweatpants.

“How about tomorrow?” he asked.

“I can’t. Jess and Gigi invited me to tag along to their Friday-night dinner at the café. What are you doing this weekend?”

“I’ve got a list, like always.” Silas’s to-do list resembled an encyclopedia.

“Do you think you could get away? I was thinking about going to a movie.”

“Just text me when. I’ll make time.”

My smiled widened. “Okay. Bye.”

I parked in front of Maple’s and walked inside. My smile turned to a grimace when I saw a pair of black eyes watching me stroll through the door.

Shouldn’t he be at the ranch?

“Hello, Paxon. Here to taint another one of my favorite places?”

There went the snark. Silas was definitely going to hear about this one. Damn.

“Felicity. How are you?”

Like he really cared. “I’m fantastic. You?” Like I really cared.

“Awesome.” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his bulky chest. His legs were planted wide and he kicked out the chair across from him. “Join me.”

Was that an invitation or an order? I couldn’t tell.

“I’d love to. Really,” I said dryly, “but I’m just grabbing something to go before I head home. I need to wax my eyebrows and I think that would be less painful than sharing a coffee with you.”

Sonovabitch! What was wrong with me? I’d been doing so well at keeping my attitude in check, but today my pent-up bitchy retorts were coming out like a tidal wave. Though, in my defense, this guy had it coming.

The corner of his mouth twitched. Was he laughing at me? Asshole.

“Listen,” he said, “I think we’d better clear the air. Silas reamed my ass last week because I was a dick to you and I promised him I’d make it right.”

I stifled a smug grin at the thought of Silas setting Paxon straight. “Fine,” I muttered. “Just let me grab a coffee.” I didn’t offer to buy him a refill. He could pay for his own drinks.

With a huge mocha in hand, I returned to his table.

“Chitchat first or should I just get to the point?” he asked.

I did like people that cut right to it. “By all means, let’s get this blessed event over with.”

He grinned. “So, you gotta know. Silas and I met not long after he joined the army. He was fucked up about you back then. It took years for him to open up about what had happened when you guys were kids but that hurt was still there. I’ll always take his back so it shouldn’t surprise you that I don’t like you much.”

That hurt. It came as no surprise but it still didn’t feel good to hear. Silas had let me off easy that night at the café when I’d apologized. I hated that he’d taken my leaving so hard and that it had taken him years to get over it.

“You should know,” I said, “that I never meant to hurt him, but I was a stupid kid, not that it’s any excuse.”

“Yeah, well, he also set me straight that things had changed. Sorry about the other night. Some of those hits were below the belt.”

“Thank you,” I sat back, a bit stunned. “Apology accepted.”

He chuckled and took a sip of his coffee. “Well, fuck. That was easier than I thought it would be.”

“Really? What did you expect?”

“I was prepared for you to dump hot coffee on my lap. I guess I always pictured you with horns and a forked tail.”

“Hmm.” I took a sip of my coffee but didn’t respond. He’d see my horns and forked tail if he ever mentioned one of Silas’s old hook-ups again. And if this nice-guy apology was all a ruse, my coffee wasn’t going in his lap; he’d be getting it in the face.

“So, you just moved back?”

“Yep.” I took another sip.

“And your family is still here?”

I set down my cup and studied his face. His eyes were smiling and he looked genuinely interested in my answer. Okay, he was trying. I’d give him credit for that. And it would mean a lot to Silas if we could get along, so I sat all the way back in my chair and decided to give Paxon Montero another chance.

“Yes, my family is all still here. What about you? You’re from California?”

He nodded. “Born and bred.”

“What made you decide to go into the military?”

“Funny story.”

For the next hour, I got to know Paxon Montero. Turned out, he wasn’t much of an asshole. On the contrary, he was a big sweetheart and I was glad that we’d been able to start over.

“You’re easy to talk to, Felicity,” he said as we walked outside.

Though our conversation had started out light, with stories from his adolescence and how he’d found himself enlisted in the army, time had passed and Paxon had become more serious. He’d confided in me about some of the horrors he’d seen in Iraq, and it was clear that he was struggling with demons he’d brought home from overseas.

“I’m always looking for coffee companions. Call me anytime,” I said.

“You mean that?”

I answered by giving him my phone number.

“I don’t know what to do about the weather up here. Last week it was snowing. Today it was in the sixties,” Paxon said.

He was sitting at the small table in my breakfast nook while I was in the kitchen, cooking pasta for dinner.

I laughed. “March is tough. It’s just so unpredictable.”

It had been two weeks since I’d met Paxon at the coffee shop, and in that time, he’d attached himself to my side. Whenever he hadn’t been working on the ranch or hanging out with Silas, he had been here with me.

Talking.

And I had been listening.

Paxon’s demons made mine look like teddy bears. In my house sat a man with burdens I couldn’t even fathom.

I usually had no idea what to say when he confided in me. The first few times, I had urged him to talk to Silas but he’d refused. Why, I wasn’t sure, but Paxon had been adamant about keeping our conversations between us. So I’d opened my ears and promised my mouth would stay closed. His secrets were safe as long as they didn’t threaten his wellbeing or safety.

“You and Silas didn’t have big Friday-night plans? No night out at the Silver Dollar or Claim Jumper?” I asked.

“I couldn’t find him earlier and he didn’t answer his phone.”

“Oh, I see how it is. I’m second fiddle.”

“Yep.”

“You could at least pretend to like me more. Inflate my ego a bit.”

“Right. Sorry. Next time.” He grinned as I went back to cooking. Pax was a handsome man and, in a different place and time, maybe boyfriend material. But my heart was for Silas only.

If he wanted it.

All he had to do was take it.

Silas

“Pax?” I called into my apartment as I shrugged off my coat.

I had just gotten back from working in the Quonset. I’d been having trouble with a tractor earlier and found out that it wasn’t going to be a simple fix that I could do myself, which meant a call to the mechanic and a hefty service bill on top of my already shit day.

Dad and I had gotten into a rip-roaring fight this morning that had left Mom in tears as she tried to mediate. I was an ass for putting her in the middle and not controlling my temper with Dad. Then, on top of all that, the tractor had broken down.

I needed a beer, or five, and some time spent away from the ranch tonight. Only two things stood a chance of snapping me out of this mood: sex or beer. The only woman I wanted to have sex with was Felicity, and since that wasn’t going to happen, beer would have to do.

Where was Pax? He was always up for a trip to town.

The situation with Felicity had been weighing heavily on my mind. Slow had turned to stagnant, and with Pax as my house guest, I’d hardly seen her. I cursed myself for not getting more than a barely there kiss in the barn. I’d gone for the slow burn when I should have picked fast heat. We’d been so close that night to crossing the line. So fucking close.

Paxon’s timing had been worse than a broken stopwatch’s.

I’d been glad to see him until he’d opened his asshole mouth, tossing out that comment about the woman I’d hooked up with in Seattle. Fucker. We’d had words about that one.

But the damage had been done. I’d felt the pain that flashed through Felicity’s body. Was that why she’d been distant? Over two weeks, and she’d disappeared completely. I didn’t know what was going on in her head. Every time I got close, she froze. It wasn’t in a scared or nervous way, she would just turn solid. Like she refused to move and meet me in the middle.

Maybe it was time to do something drastic. Get us out of this rut. But I was worried about scaring her away.

Beer. I needed beer.

“Pax,” I called again after pulling off my boots and walking down the hallway. “Gone again?” He’d been disappearing lately. I smiled and shook my head. “Didn’t take you long, man,” I said into the empty room. Paxon had a way with the ladies. He had probably gotten bored out here alone and had found a hookup in town.

Walking to the fridge for a beer, I paused to read a note on the counter.

Princess,

Going to dinner at Felicity’s house.

Be back late. If I come back at all.

Might just stay there.

—P

What. The. Fuck.

My vision turned red.

She was mine and he was a fucking dead man.

I crumpled the note and stormed down the hallway for my coat and boots. The door shook as I slammed it shut with a rage I hadn’t felt in years.

After all that I’d done for him, he repaid me by going after Felicity? And what the fuck was she doing? Was Pax the reason she’d pulled away from me?

The drive to town went by in a furious haze. I parked and marched right up to her door, peering inside, hoping that I had misunderstood Paxon’s note and there was another Felicity in Prescott that I didn’t know about.

Nope. There they were, laughing and talking in her kitchen. Her beautiful face was split in a wide smile and Paxon was making wild gestures as he told her a story.

My blood started boiling and my temper wiped out any rational thought. I exploded through the door, ignoring the shocked gasp from Felicity and bolting straight for my “friend.”

Paxon held up his hands in surrender but grinned. The fucker grinned!

I didn’t slow, plowing right into him and grabbing him by his shirt to shove him against the wall. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I roared into his face. “She belongs with me!”

His grin widened. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Before I could ask, his hands came up and started pushing me away. “Come on, let me go.” When I didn’t, the smirk on his face fell. “Silas, man, let me go.” He fought to get out of my grasp, but I didn’t budge. We were pretty evenly matched physically but I had rage on my side.

“Let me go!” His own rage sparked behind his dark eyes. Just like all the times we’d boxed together, that was the sign he was about to unleash hell.

Bring it on.

“What the fuck are you doing with her?” My jaw was clenched so tightly, my teeth didn’t move as I spoke.

Paxon didn’t answer. Instead, he let go of his temper. He pushed hard and I rocked back but then I used all my strength to slam his back into the wall again. This time he twisted, jerking my arm locked on his to the side. We both dipped and he lost his footing, so I was able to keep him pinned to the wall. Using all of my weight and every ounce of my strength, I kept him trapped as he struggled to get free. We were so lost in our grappling battle that neither of us noticed Felicity approaching from the side.

Then I was wet.

My face was soaked with cold water and I blinked furiously to clear the drops from my eyes. The surprise made me lose my grip on Pax’s arms and he jerked free. He was wet too.

And the fucker was grinning again, his anger evaporated. “She is perfect for you, princess.”

“What?” I rubbed both hands over my face, clearing away more water that was dripping out of my hair.

“Well, that was fun,” Pax said. He turned to Felicity who stood by our sides.

She was holding two empty glasses.

And she was pissed.

Well, too fucking bad, babe. I was pissed too. “You want to tell me what is going on here?”

Her answer was curling a lip and slamming the glasses onto the counter. Then with two hands planted firmly against my chest, she pushed me backward with all her might.

Was she kicking me out of her house? To be with Pax? No fucking way. “Felicity—”

“Shut up,” she snapped and kept pushing until the backs of my knees hit a chair and I had to sit.

My eyes were glued to her angry scowl when her hands clapped to the sides of my face. She bent low to look me right in the eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

Then she crushed her mouth to mine for a hard, fast kiss. She let me go, spinning away before I could react. Paxon was behind her, staring at us, smiling like a fool. I just stayed in my chair, staring at them both like—what had she called me?—an idiot.

“Thanks for dinner, Felicity,” Paxon said.

“You’re welcome. Let me know if you decide on house hunting. There’s a couple of nice places on the market right now.”

“Will do.” He walked toward the door, stopping when he reached my side to clap a hand on my shoulder. “About time you pulled your head outta your ass. I should have left you that note a week ago.”

Fuck. I’d played right into the bastard’s hands.

My shoulders slumped. So I may have overreacted. I couldn’t help it. The thought of Felicity with any other man made me lose my mind. When the door closed behind Paxon, I looked up from my lap to see Felicity with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Sorry.”

She dropped her arms to her sides and frowned. “You’re an idiot.”

I nodded. “Pretty much.”

“Now what?”

Now you tell me that I’m the man you want.

Now you kiss me again.

Now I pick you up and carry you to the couch, where those clothes will come off and I’ll spend the next two days buried inside you.

But I didn’t tell her any of that. Instead, I told her what I had always told her when she’d asked me that question.

“Whatever you want.”

Felicity

Whatever I want?

I faced away from him and planted my hands on the counter. It was look away or storm across the room and strangle him.

Whatever I want?

You! I want you, you big dumbass!

In front of me was the plate of oatmeal cookies I’d made for dessert. I reached for one and held its chewy goodness in my hand.

“I’ve been waiting and waiting,” I said. “Hoping you would finally decide to make a move.”

I spun back around and flung the cookie at him, flicking it like a Frisbee. The cookie fell short so I reached behind me and grabbed another, this time giving it an extra zing. Still not quite enough.

“What are you doing?” He stood from the chair, staring at me like I had gone cuckoo.

“All this time and this is how you do it?” I yelled. “You come in here, your temper way out of control, and almost pick a fight with your friend?”

I went back for another cookie. This time, I hit my mark. He tried to block it but the cookie smacked him right in the face before crumbling to the floor.

“Hey! Stop throwing cookies at me.”

“You deserved that!”

He swiped the crumbs from his face. “You think it was my move to make? What about you? You could have come after me for once.”

This time I grabbed a whole handful of cookies and whipped them in his direction, littering the floor between us. “I have always come after you! Did it ever occur to you that I needed you to show me that you wanted me more than any of the obstacles in our way? Huh? That I was more important than your friendship with my ex-boyfriend? That even though I hurt you before, you were willing to take another chance on me?”

Any calm he’d had evaporated. “Did it ever occur to you that I needed you to choose me when there wasn’t a bunch of shit swirling around us? That I needed you to show me that you wanted me, just for me?”

We stared at each other for a moment, my chest heaving and his nostrils flaring. Then we were both moving, closing the distance between us with desperation.

My foot slipped on a cookie but Silas caught me before I could fall. His arms spanned my ribs and he hoisted me up against his chest. My arms and legs clung to him and I erased all of the space between us.

When I tipped my head down, lowering my mouth, his was open and waiting. His tongue swept in and twisted with mine, spreading fire through every nerve. Everything was hot. My skin. My lips. My sex. Everything.

Silas walked us backward, and when my ass hit the counter, I broke away from his mouth and pulled at his coat. I worked it frantically over his broad shoulders, and as he shrugged out of its sleeves, his mouth came to the sensitive skin underneath my jaw, sucking and kissing.

His fingers yanked at my navy sweater until they finally found its hem. Leaning back, he whipped it over my head before reaching to the base of his own gray shirt and doing the same. When his lips fused with mine, my hands rubbed all over his muscled chest. Feeling his chiseled abs brush against my stomach sent another jolt of heat to my core.

“Baby,” I whimpered when he pulled back.

“Up,” he ordered, grabbing my ass and sliding it off the counter. My legs swung around his hips and my ankles crossed at his back as he started walking. His tongue trailed along my neck and collarbone as he carried me upstairs.

“To the right,” I panted when we reached the landing. He obeyed and entered my dark bedroom. The faint light from the streetlights outside gave my white bedding a soft glow. When my back hit the mattress, Silas went to the button on my jeans. I wriggled my hips as he slid them down and off. I pushed up and went straight to the buckle on his belt. While I worked it open, he twisted the clasp on my bra.

My hurried fingers couldn’t get the zipper down fast enough on his jeans and I let out a frustrated groan. Silas’s deep chuckle filled the room as he stared down at me, his brown eyes so dark they looked black.

“Hurry,” I begged, letting him work his jeans off while I slipped off the straps of my bra.

Silas tucked his thumbs into the waistband of his jeans and off they came. Holy hell, he was going commando. That was so fucking hot. I stared at his thick, hard cock while he tugged off my satin panties and sent them flying over his shoulder.

“Mouth,” he ordered and I tossed back my chin just in time to catch his crashing lips. Holding tight to his shoulders, I stroked my tongue with his as he moved me further into the bed by the backs of my knees.

“Condom?” he asked.

I shook my head and felt his grin. Silas and I had never used a condom. He was the only man that I’d ever had inside of me bare. Some of my serious boyfriends, including Wes, had asked but I had always refused. Even though I was on the pill, I had required that barrier.

But not with Silas.

I didn’t want anything between us.

He lined his cock up with my slit and teased me, sliding himself up and down through my wetness. When it grazed my clit, I moaned and tipped my hips up to meet his.

“Please, baby.”

“What do you want, Lis?” he whispered.

“You. I want you.”

With one hard thrust, he drove into me to the root. “Fuck,” he groaned as I cried out.

I closed my eyes as I stretched around him. He filled me completely. Perfectly. I throbbed around him and pressed my hips up, urging him to move.

When he didn’t, I opened my eyes. He was staring down at me. The intensity of his gaze and the seriousness of his face surprised me. I lifted a hand to his cheek and caressed his stubble with my thumb.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing.” His eyes softened. “I just want to remember what you look like tonight. You’re so beautiful, Lis. And all mine.”

My heart swelled into my throat and I drew in a jagged breath. “Silas,” I choked out. I didn’t know what else to say. That was the sweetest thing I’d heard in a long, long time.

He dropped his forehead to mine and slowly eased his cock out, stopping when the tip was barely inside. I groaned at his loss and again lifted up my hips. My hands went to his sides and his muscles tensed as he slid back inside, inch by inch.

When I was full again, he lifted his head and looked into my eyes. “Ready?”

I nodded. Yeah, I was ready. More than ready.

He went from slow, restrained glides to powerful, frantic thrusts in an instant.

“Silas,” I gasped. My legs were shaking as he brought them up to his sides. His muscled thighs drove his hips and cock, sending me higher and higher with each powerful stroke.

With a rush of heat, I moaned and threw my head back into the pillow. “I’m com—” Before I could finish my sentence, my climax peaked and I exploded around Silas, pulsing and squeezing as it washed over me. Every muscle shook as my long and hard orgasm rendered me completely helpless.

“Lis.” His voice was rough and on edge. I was just coming down when his thrusts lost all control. Pounding into me, I opened my eyes just in time to see Silas’s corded neck tighten. His hot release spilled inside me.

His sweaty chest collapsed on mine and we held tightly to each other, panting for breath as our hearts thundered between us.

The after-sex with Silas was almost as good as the sex itself. Almost.

I loved that he would lay on me right after we came and our combined heartbeats drummed between us. The rhythm resonated across my arms to my fingertips and down my legs to my toes. It was like my body was saying, “This one. This one is the right one.”

My eyes closed as I enjoyed this closeness, this connection. He was heavy and he wouldn’t stay here for long, just enough to give me what I wanted.

“Are you okay?” he asked into my hair.

I hummed and wrapped my legs around his thighs, pulling him deeper.

He propped himself up on an elbow, brushing away the hair that had fallen on my forehead. “Lis?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to ask you something important.”

My eyes popped open and I searched his for a sign of anything bad. But they were happy, full of warmth and light. “What?”

“Did you throw all of the cookies?”

I giggled. “There’s probably a couple left.”

“Good. I’m hungry.” He slid out and rolled off the bed.

With one hand, he tugged me out too. He bent and grabbed his shirt, shaking it out before pulling it over my head. While I pushed my arms in, he stepped into his jeans, leaving his belt buckle hanging and the top button open. I could see a light dusting of hair at the zipper that traveled up his happy trail to his belly button.

Sexy. Damn sexy. I was ready to go again.

“If you keep staring at my cock, we’re never going to make it back to the kitchen.”

“Fine by me.” I let my eyes linger as they climbed his abs and chest to his handsome face. “I ate dinner.”

He smiled and captured my hand. “Come on, babe.”

After a quick pit stop in the bathroom, we walked downstairs hand in hand. I refused to let cookies be Silas’s dinner, so while he leaned up against a counter, I whipped him up some scrambled eggs.

“Sorry about coming over like I did.”

I looked over my shoulder and smiled. “I’m not.”

He sighed. “Fuck. I feel bad for getting physical with Pax.”

“He’s not doing well, Silas. He’s been coming over to talk to me about some stuff from the army but I don’t know what to say. I think you should try and talk to him. Maybe see if there is somebody in town that he could talk to, like a professional.”

“Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. He hasn’t talked to me, but he is jumpy as all hell. I cracked a whip at one of our bulls the other day and he dropped to the ground for cover.” He raked a hand through his hair. “And then I tried to fight him tonight.”

“What were you thinking? Did you really think I’d go for him?” I set his plate down in front of him.

“We’ve been in a weird place lately. I didn’t know what you wanted.”

“Do you now?”

“I’ve got a pretty good idea.” His eyes twinkled, and when he smiled, my knees wobbled.

“Good. I’m glad we don’t have to have a big discussion. That we can agree we’re better off as just friends,” I teased.

His fork fell to the counter and he lunged at me. I squealed and darted around the island, running up the stairs but I was too slow. He caught me at the hips and started tickling my sides.

“I’m kidding! Stop!” I laughed and begged but he was relentless.

“Are we friends?”

“No!”

“That’s right.” He stopped torturing me and bent low, shoving his shoulder in my belly and hauling me up into a fireman’s hold. My shirt flew up and my bare ass felt the cool air. “We’re friends with benefits.”

“Silas!” I said, smacking his butt. I knew he was joking but I couldn’t resist giving him a smack. That gorgeous behind was right in front of my face.

“Payback.” His hand cracked against my ass.

I yelped and started laughing again as he carried me upstairs and tossed me down on the bed. Off came his jeans and he proceeded to show me that we were definitely not just friends. Two orgasms later, we were both exhausted and ready to sleep.

“Are you still hungry?” I asked.

“Too tired. You can make me a big breakfast.”

I hummed my agreement. “This is nice.” I was tucked into his side while he lay on his back. My leg was thrown over his and our feet were gently playing. “We’ve only ever spent one whole night together. You always used to leave after. I could get used to this.”

He leaned down and kissed the top of my hair. “You better.”

“Morning.”

I smiled and nuzzled Silas’s chest with my nose. After a quick kiss on his pec, I lifted my chin and looked into his beautiful eyes. “Morning.”

I’d only been awake for ten seconds, but I already knew this was the best morning I’d ever had in my thirty-four years.

“Do you have anything you need to do today?” he asked.

“Nope.”

“Do you feel like hanging out with me?”

“Hmm.” I looked up and pretended to think about it.

“I’d make it worth your while.” He reached beneath the sheet and trailed his fingers down my bare back. Shivers broke across my skin as they skimmed down to my ass.

“I’m sure you will.”

He rolled me onto my back and lined his lips up with mine. When his mouth came down, his tongue and cock slid inside in unison.

He proceeded to make it worth my while. And then again in the shower.

By the time we walked downstairs so I could make us a big breakfast, I was sated and famished.

“No showings today?” Silas asked as I scrambled eggs for omelets.

I sighed. “No. Prescott’s real estate market isn’t exactly booming right now.”

Since buying into Jamison Valley Real Estate, I’d only had one client meeting and I didn’t have another lined up until the middle of next week. Though I was still excited and loving the job, adjusting to the slower pace had been difficult.

“It will pick up when the weather gets warmer. People don’t want to move when it’s snowy and cold.”

“Yeah. You’re probably right. I’m just anxious to get a couple of deals under my belt. This is such a change for me, I just want to know that I’m doing a good job.”

“You’ll be great, babe.”

I ducked my head to hide my smile and blushing cheeks. “Thanks.”

He pushed away from the counter and pressed his chest against my back, wrapping me in his arms. “I love that you get all shy when I give you a compliment,” he said into my hair. “But don’t hide that smile from me, Lis. I live for it.”

My chest swelled and I had trouble breathing. Sniffing away the sting in my nose, I said, “You’re going to make me cry and then we’ll never eat breakfast.”

“We can just have cookies.”

I shook my head. “All those muscles of yours need protein. I can’t have you getting weak on me.”

“Good point.” He kissed the back of my head and stepped away. “I’ll just have a couple of these anyway”—he nabbed a cookie—“before they end up as weapons.”

I stuck out my tongue as he laughed. God, that sound.

Best morning ever.

“So what are we doing today?” I asked as we parked outside the barn an hour later.

“I thought we could take a drive through the calving pasture. You can see all of the cute little calves, then we can do whatever you want.”

I stared at his firm butt as we walked to the door. “I’ve got a few ideas.” All of them involved a bed and a lack of clothing.

“Pax?” Silas called when we pushed inside. Paxon answered from the living room and we walked in to find him zipping up his large duffel.

“What are you doing?” Silas asked.

“Well, princess, time has come for me to find a new home.”

“Listen, man, if this is about last night, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten physical.”

Paxon grinned and winked at me. “That’s too bad for you, Felicity. I thought for sure he’d get physical after I left.”

“Oh my god, you’re a child.” I tried not to laugh but failed.

Paxon chuckled and clapped Silas on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. I would have done the same thing if I’d been in your boots.”

“Thanks.” Silas sighed with relief. “Then why are you leaving?”

“This is your place. You should be able to bring your woman over and not have a third wheel. I’m just going to crash at the motel for a while until I find a permanent place in town.”

“You’re staying in Prescott?” I asked hopefully. “No more California?”

He smiled. “Montana has grown on me. Figured I’d help out the dipshit here until something better comes along.”

“I’d love your help but I’m paying you from now on,” Silas insisted. Pax opened his mouth, but before he could protest, Silas talked over him. “Hear me out. Gus is coming off payroll. Last week he decided to take disability, retire and get back surgery. That leaves us shorthanded as we head into the busiest time of year. Dad and I already discussed it, and if you’re interested, the job is yours.”

“I don’t know shit about ranching,” Paxon said. “You should hire someone with experience.”

“You know plenty. Dad and I will show you the rest. What you lack in experience you make up for in hard work and trust. That’s huge. Please? Take the job.”

I was on the tips of my toes, waiting for his answer. This place could be so good for Paxon. There was peace here with the outdoors and the animals, and maybe if he let it, some would settle into his heart and chase the demons away.

“All right,” Paxon finally agreed and shook Silas’s hand.

“Yay!” I cheered. “How great is this?”

“Are you going to find me a house?” Paxon asked.

I gave him a mock salute. “I’m on it.”

The three of us visited for a while until Silas and I went to check the cattle and Paxon headed to the motel. When we got back, Silas helped me out of my coat, then bent to give me a light kiss. “Want to watch a movie and chill?”

“Nope.” I grinned and started padding down the hallway and up the stairs. Silas’s hand gripped the back pocket of my jeans as he followed.

I’d never been in Silas’s bedroom loft before, but by the end of the day, I was well acquainted.

Especially with his bed.

“Thank you, Felicity.” My client was shaking my hand with such abandon, my entire arm was moving up and down.

“That’s enough, dear.” Her husband gently pried both of her hands away from mine. “Thanks, Felicity.”

I smiled. “It was my pleasure.” We were at Maple’s, wrapping up an afternoon spent shopping for homes. I was helping this young couple find their first house before their baby was born in the summer. “I’ll draft your offer agreement right now and send it over so you can sign it. With any luck, we’ll hear back from the sellers this evening or tomorrow.” I waved good-bye as they left the coffee shop and sat back at my table, getting to work on their offer.

I couldn’t have picked a better pair of clients to be my first. They were such a cute couple, with a little boy and a baby girl on the way. Seeing her pregnant belly, plus being around Gigi’s, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of longing.

Being this close to Rowen and Ben had really amped up my biological clock. I swear I could hear it ticking louder each morning as I swallowed my birth-control pill. Would I get the chance to have my own kids? Did Silas even want children? We hadn’t had the kid conversation yet, and as much as I’d like to know the answers to my questions, I didn’t want to get ahead of myself.

I was enjoying the beginning of our relationship. We couldn’t keep our hands off of one another, any spare moment was spent together, and we laughed just about as much as we kissed. The serious family discussions could wait. Right now, I was happy we were together.

Finally.

After all these years.

“Felicity?” Khloe Olson stood at my table, on the other side of my laptop.

“Khloe, hi!” She looked so much better than the last time I’d seen her. Her cast was gone and this was the first time in months that her face wasn’t bruised and battered.

“Can I sit?” she asked.

“Of course!” I rushed to slide my computer and papers off the table.

“You look nice,” she said. “Though you always do.”

“Thank you.” I smoothed out my navy pencil skirt and gray blouse. “I had a couple of house showings today and I wanted to dress up.”

“House showings?”

“I got my realtor license a couple of weeks ago and went into a partnership with Rob Jordan. It’s all very new but so far I am really enjoying it.”

She smiled. “I bet you’ll be great.”

I smiled back. “How are you?”

“I’m good. Really good, actually. I’m glad I ran into you today. I’ve been meaning to call and say thanks.”

“Thanks for what?”

She took a long breath. “For coming over on New Year’s. You really helped me that day.”

“I did?” I’d only been there for five minutes.

She leaned forward and whispered, “I left Derrick that afternoon.”

“Oh.” I tried to sound shocked instead of elated.

She smiled and toyed with her keys on the table. “Our separation didn’t last long. He came and found me at the motel the next morning. He promised to go to counseling if I came home and that he’d stop drinking. He’s kept his promise and things have been good. I think our marriage will come out stronger because of it all.”

“Oh.” This time I tried to sound hopeful instead of disappointed. “How did my visit make a difference?”

“I hated that you saw me so low,” she said. “That you were judging me. I decided that day that I didn’t want to have Felicity Cleary’s pity ever again.”

Ouch. She didn’t think much of me at all, did she? What could I say that would convince her that I wasn’t the bratty adolescent that she had once known?

“Khloe, I never judged you,” I said, “or pitied you. I just wanted to help. I just wanted—want to be your friend. I hope you will believe that.”

She studied my face for a minute, then looked to her lap. “Maybe I needed to think you were judging me. Then I could judge myself.”

I could give her that.

“I never thought I’d be a woman whose husband abuses her. It just . . . happened. Derrick and I have been married for eleven years. Most of them have been great, and I don’t want to make excuses or anything, he shouldn’t have hurt me, but he only ever did it when he was drinking. These last couple of years have been hard. He turns into a different person when he’s drunk.”

I nodded but kept quiet. I knew what it felt like when a partner treated you differently when they were under the influence. Wes had turned into a different person when he’d been high. So I wouldn’t judge Khloe for forgiving her husband. I would, however, judge Derrick for being a rotten piece of shit that beat his wife.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have given him one last chance, but I love him.”

“I understand that.” I patted her hand.

“Anyway, enough of that. If you still want to be friends, I’d really like that.”

“Me too.”

We chatted over the next hour and gossiped a bit. When I told her that Andrea Merkuso had left town to marry my ex-boyfriend, she stood up and did a happy dance. Apparently, the teasing I’d done to her in high school paled in comparison to how Andrea had treated her behind my back.

“Thanks for letting me interrupt your work,” Khloe said, standing to leave. She smiled, maybe the most genuine smile she’d ever given me, and waved good-bye. “See you around.”

I waved back. “Bye.”

I wished Khloe the best with her marriage, and I truly hoped that we could become friends. She was sweet but had a hilariously dry sense of humor.

Derrick had just better watch himself. Nobody messed with my friends. If he stepped over the line again, I wouldn’t be quite as hesitant about my involvement or pulling my brother, the sheriff, into the loop.

I hurried to finish up my work so that I could leave the coffee shop and call Sabrina. She had promised me that she would be free all night long and we could have a long talk. Between Khloe, Paxon and Silas, we’d need at least an hour. That, and I was keeping my fingers crossed that tonight she’d finally spill on this super-secret story she had been investigating.

When I got her voicemail, my heart sank. I left her a quick message and held my phone tight, willing it to ring.

Something was wrong. I’d heard Sabrina’s voicemail more these last few months than I had in the past ten years combined. I was tempted to do something drastic, like fly to Seattle and track her ass down, but instead, I drove to the ranch to spend the night with Silas.

I kept my phone close all through dinner and the movie we watched together on the couch, but Sabrina never called.

It took her a week to finally return my message.

With a text.

“Lis!” Silas called.

“I’m in the kitchen!” I was making us beef tacos with homemade salsa and guacamole for dinner. Reheating, actually. I’d made the same thing at Mom’s house on my lunch break and saved half for me and Silas.

“Smells good.” He had taken off his boots but his clothes were splattered brown. I had learned over the last couple of weeks that I couldn’t assume anything brown was mud or dirt. That, and not to wash my clothes with his.

“How did fencing go?”

He pulled a stool out from beneath the island and slumped into the seat. “Long. It was a fucking mess down there.”

Silas and Paxon had spent the entire day repairing a section of fence that had been washed away. This spring had been wet. So wet, there were days when I’d felt like I was back in Seattle. It was great for the grass and the land, but it had wreaked havoc on the ranch. The creek that ran from the mountains through the ranch had been at record levels.

The roaring water had pulled down hundreds of fence posts and the barbed wire in between. One of the culverts that had channeled the creek under a gravel road was now gone, requiring the road be completely rebuilt. And an old, empty barn had finally given way under the pouring rain and would now need to be cleaned up.

“Sorry, baby,” I said.

“We’ll get it all done eventually. This weekend, maybe you can help me fix a section of fence in the lower meadow.”

“Definitely. I’d be happy to.” Silas had been hesitant to have me working out in the mud, so while he put in exhausting hours, I sat around and felt useless. I was itching to help him on his actual ranch work, not just the cooking and cleaning I’d been doing at his place.

It had been a month since we’d moved from our unlabeled relationship to an actual relationship, and we hadn’t spent a night apart. We’d stayed at my place a couple of times early on, but with Silas needing to be up early, it just hadn’t made sense to make him stay in town and drive out to the ranch before dawn.

So I’d hauled over my fancy kitchen gadgets, some clothes and my nice laundry detergent and made myself at home.

“Did Sabrina call you today?” Silas asked.

I shook my head. “I’m getting worried. It’s been, what, three weeks? She’s never gone this long without checking in. If I don’t hear from her by Monday morning, I’m calling her boss and her doorman just to make sure she’s okay. And if I have to take a couple of days and fly—”

I whirled toward my ringing phone. It wasn’t Sabrina, but instead an unknown Prescott number.

“Sorry. One second,” I told Silas. “Hello?”

“Felicity? This is Dr. Faraday.”

“Hi, Dr. Faraday.” I stifled a laugh at Silas’s jealous face.

“I’ve got some good news,” the doctor said. “I’ve been able to get your mother approved for that drug trial I was telling you about.”

“That is great news. Does she know?”

“Yes, I called her first. She seemed a little hesitant and asked that I call you to explain the program details. Is now a good time?”

“I’m actually just getting ready to sit down for dinner. Would you mind if I came to the hospital next week and we discussed it in person? Maybe Monday morning?”

“Not at all,” he said. “Swing by whenever it works best for your schedule.”

“See you then. Bye.” I hung up and looked to Silas. “Mom got approved for that Alzheimer’s drug trial!”

“That’s great, babe.” He smiled and came around the island to give me a kiss.

Kissing Silas always made my belly flutter, but this time I had another reaction too. “Baby, don’t take this the wrong way, but you stink.” I stepped back and plugged my nose. He smelled like stale water and stinky mud. I was pretty sure there was some cow shit mixed in there too.

He chuckled. “That’s eau de ranch. My new cologne.”

“Yuck. Throw that one out, smelly man.”

He laughed and walked out of the kitchen and toward the front door.

“Do you want a beer?” I heard him in the laundry room and I assumed he was changing into some clean clothes. When he strode down the hallway wearing only his dark-green boxers, I nearly dropped the plate in my hands. “What are you doing?” I asked as he went to the fridge and pulled out a beer.

“Getting my beer. What are you doing?”

“You know that’s not what I meant. Why are you practically naked?” My eyes traveled over all that muscle and I had to fan my face.

Forget milk. Ranch work does a body good.

“I thought you’d prefer this over my stinky clothes.”

“Obviously I prefer this look,” I said. “I’m just not sure how you expect me to eat with you sitting next to me like that.”

He walked into my space and lifted the plate from my hands, setting it on the counter. A shiver ran down my spine when his hands came to the sides of my neck and he whispered, “Maybe we should—”

“Silas?” Olivia called from the door.

I let out a frustrated sigh at the same time Silas grumbled. He stepped away and called, “In here, Mom!”

Her footsteps echoed down the short hallway and I did my best to stop panting so she wouldn’t know that seconds ago I had been about to jump her son. Who was I kidding? There was no way she would miss my flushed cheeks and Silas’s lack of apparel.

When Olivia walked into the room, she gasped. “Oh, I’m interrupting. I should come back later.” She was looking anywhere other than at Silas and me in the kitchen.

“You’re fine,” Silas said. “We were just getting ready for dinner. My clothes were filthy so I stripped.”

“Right,” she said, still not making eye contact. “I just need to borrow your keys and then I’ll get out of your hair. My car is at the shop and your dad isn’t back yet. I just wanted to run and grab the mail.”

“Sure, but it’s a filthy mess right now.”

“Do you want to take mine?” I turned and pulled the keys from my purse on the counter. “Here. It smells like vanilla, not poop.”

She laughed and took the keys. “Thanks, sweetie. Be right back.”

I smiled and went back to setting out the tacos. “We’d better eat. Otherwise your mom is going to come back to a locked door and you’ll have to go fetch my keys because I can never show her my face again.”

He chuckled and leaned down to kiss my forehead. “You do realize she knows we’re having sex.”

“Yes, I realize that, but let’s not make a spectacle out of it. She called me ‘sweetie.’ That means I’m on her good side.” And I intended to stay there.

I desperately wanted his mother’s approval. There was already so much stress in their family dynamic, I didn’t need to add to it by being anything less than the perfect girlfriend for her son.

We were halfway done with our meal by the time Olivia came back and returned my keys. She chatted with us for a while before she left to go home and cook her own dinner.

“Dinner was awesome,” Silas said, carrying his plate to the sink. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”

“Okay.” I stood on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek before he walked down the hall.

Now that’s a view. I wasn’t sure which I liked better, Silas’s tight behind or his sculpted back. I planned on doing some research with my hands later to help me choose the winner.

When the shower turned on, I busied myself with the dishes until I heard the door open again and slam shut.

“Did you forget something?” I walked around the island, expecting to see Olivia. Instead, Silas’s dad, Elliot, came storming down the hallway, his muddy boots leaving a trail behind his angry footsteps.

I had forgotten how much Silas looked like his father. Elliot’s blond hair was starting to gray but he still had the same build and height as his son.

I opened my mouth to greet him but he snapped at me before I could.

“Is that your fancy fucking car out there blocking the hay shed?”

“Uh, I’m sorry,” I stuttered, shocked that Elliot had chosen to greet me this way.

Not once in the month that I had been with his son had he come over to say hello, and Silas had never wanted to go over to their house in the evenings. I had remembered Elliot as being such a gentleman. Clearly, things had changed.

“You’re sorry?” Elliot mocked. “Maybe you can be sorry enough to consider the fact that there are people here trying to work and make a living. But since you know nothing about running a ranch, I guess I can’t be all that surprised. Maybe I’ll just hope you realize soon enough that you don’t belong here and leave again. If I’m lucky, maybe you’ll stay gone this time.”

All I could do was blink as Elliot spun around and left just as quickly as he had entered.

I stood frozen, trying to process Elliot’s blow until I heard Silas turn off the shower. I came unstuck and walked back to the kitchen before he could tell I was upset. Nothing good would come from me telling him what exactly his father had said.

“Did someone come over?” he asked.

“Your dad,” I said, rinsing a plate. “He asked me to move my car.”

“Oh, okay. Mom must have parked it in a bad spot. Let me throw some clothes on and I’ll do it.”

“All right.” A few minutes alone would give me a chance to recover.

“I see he didn’t bother to take his boots off,” he muttered as he walked to the stairs. “What an ass.”

Yeah. He could say that again.

“Are you okay?” Silas asked me the next morning.

“I’m great!” I lied. “Excited to see what this fencing jazz is all about.”

He chuckled. “That’s the most enthusiasm I’ve ever heard someone express toward fencing.” He tossed me a sweatshirt from his closet. “Here, pull this on. We’ve got one thing to do before we get to work.”

I pulled it on and took a long breath. Silas’s scent filled my nose and went a long way toward easing the worry caused by Elliot’s harsh words last night. I’d been mentally replaying them on repeat, and I still couldn’t figure out what I’d done to anger him so much. I hadn’t even been the one to park in the bad spot! Jerk.

I didn’t care if fencing was a miserable job. At least it would be something else to occupy my thoughts.

“Am I going to get that sweatshirt back?” Silas asked.

“It’s doubtful.” This would make the third sweatshirt now happily hanging in my closet instead of his.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. “If I let you keep it, will you tell me what’s bothering you?”

I dropped my forehead to his chest and let him pull me closer. Part of me wanted to brush off his question just to keep the tension between them from rising, but honesty was so important to me that I had to fess up. “Your dad wasn’t overly pleasant last night. He was actually kind of a jerk.”

“Fuck,” he hissed and let me go. “I’m sorry, babe. I’ll talk to him.”

“No, don’t do that.” I had a feeling it would just grow Elliot’s anger toward me. And really, I could take some rude comments. I’d dished out enough in my lifetime to know that maybe Elliot had just been in a bad mood and the next time we met, he’d be more pleasant.

“No way. He doesn’t get away with it.”

“I’ll be fine. He just rubbed me the wrong way. Please, don’t talk to him.”

He shook his head. “No.” At his sides, his fists were clenched. If he lost his temper at his dad, Elliot and I wouldn’t have a chance at starting over.

“Please, Silas.” I walked into his space and reached up to frame his face, forcing his eyes to mine. “Please. I know it goes against your alpha-male ways, but please, just let this one slide. For me?”

He let out a deep breath and relaxed his fists. “Fine. Just this time.”

“Thank you.” I dropped my hands from his face and wound them around his waist.

He hugged me back. “Come on, sweatshirt thief. I’m taking you on a ranch tour before we get to work.” He let me go to grab my hand and lead me down the stairs. When we got outside, we bypassed his truck and headed inside the barn.

“I thought you wanted to do a ranch tour.” I was looking forward to it and hoped that he hadn’t changed his mind in the last two minutes.

He started fiddling with a saddle. “We are.” He lifted the saddle off its post and slung it over a bench. “Come sit on this and see how it feels.”

“Oh, uh, me on a horse doesn’t seem like the safest activity to do first thing in the morning.”

“Just go with it.”

I hesitated. He give me a look that said, “I’m waiting.”

“Ugh. You have to drive me to the hospital when I fall off and break my ass.”

“I’ll break every speed limit on the way,” he deadpanned.

Swinging a leg over the saddle, I sank onto the hard seat. Silas poked around for a minute, and when he determined that it would fit—whatever that meant—I swung off to greet the dog that had just come into the barn.

“What’s your name?” I asked, rubbing behind its ears.

“That’s Dolly. She’s Mom’s dog.”

“Hey, Dolly. Your name fits you perfectly. You are a doll.” She had a face that would melt your heart. Half of it was solid black and the other was a marbled gray, like the rest of her coat. Her dark brown eyes were friendly and complemented her gentle nature.

“Okay, babe. Come on over and meet Lulu.”

Hesitantly, I approached the stall where Silas was standing. Inside was a beautiful red horse with a thin white stripe on her nose. She was, thankfully, much smaller and less intimidating than Courage, who was glaring at me from the next stall over.

“Hi, Lulu.” I touched her cheek like Silas had showed me.

“She’s a sweet old mare,” he said, running a weird circular comb over Lulu’s back. “You’ll like riding her.”

“You should know, Mr. Grant, that I’m not the kind of girl that would get bucked off a horse and get right back on. If she ditches me, my horse-riding days are over. Forever. You hear me, Lulu?”

Silas’s hand froze as he stared at me blankly. Then he bent forward and burst out laughing.

“He thinks I’m kidding?” I asked the horse.

Still laughing, Silas stood and leaned forward to plant a hard and fast kiss on my lips. “Babe, if Lulu bucked you off, which she won’t, but if she did, you’d be so pissed off that the first thing you’d do is tell her to ‘fuck off, bitch’ and then climb right back on just to show her who’s boss. My Lis is not a quitter.”

That praise gave me goose bumps. I blushed and smiled, like I usually did at his compliments, but this time I didn’t try to hide it. And because I didn’t, I got a gift. Silas’s gorgeous smile shined back, his eyes sparkling with tiny stars.

I’d never shy away from him again.

He gave me another quick kiss before handing me the metal ringed comb. “This is a curry comb. Just brush her back and sides so that the hair lays flat.”

“Like this?” I mimicked what I’d seen him do.

“Yep.”

After the combing was done, he showed me how to get Lulu saddled up, narrating his instruction as he demonstrated. The lesson was unnecessary. I promptly forgot everything he’d showed me because I was too nervous about the ride itself to absorb the saddling process. Maybe once I had some hours in the actual saddle, I would care more about putting one on.

I hung with Dolly while Silas got Courage ready to go, and when he pulled his horse out of his own stall, the butterflies in my stomach turned to angry hornets.

“Grab her reins and follow me,” Silas said.

I could do this. I could ride a horse. And if it doesn’t work out? I’d just tell Silas that I was taking Big & Rich’s advice to “save a horse, ride a cowboy.” Since he was the cowboy, I doubted he’d object too strongly.

Silas walked out of the barn first and I followed with Dolly right at my side. Lulu’s nose nudged my arm a couple of times when my steps became too slow for her liking.

“All set?” Silas asked after making some final adjustments to my saddle. I nodded and smiled even though I felt like puking. He positioned me in the right place and helped me get my foot in the stirrup, and then with one fast hoist and spin, I was sitting on top of a horse.

“Oh, lordy,” I muttered while Silas swung up on Courage. “Lulu, please be nice to me.”

She answered by swishing her tail over her butt. Was that a good sign or bad? Good. Stay positive. She started following Courage automatically and my hands tightened on the saddle’s horn like a vise.

“Relax,” Silas said. “Just enjoy the nice morning. We’ll take it very slow.”

It took a while but I was eventually able to relax. Lulu’s calm and steady nature rubbed off on me, and when I stopped staring at the ground, I saw that Silas was taking me up a gentle ridge that overlooked the ranch.

“Wow. I didn’t realize how big those meadows were,” I said when we reached the top.

The valley below us was green and lush. Small pools left over from the flooded creek were glistening in the morning sun. There wasn’t a breath of wind in the air, and the cloudless sky was a clear blue. “This is amazing, Silas.”

“It sure is.” But he was smiling at me and not the view.

I smiled back, then returned to the beauty down below. “Thanks for bringing me up here.”

“Anytime. We can go for rides more often so you start to feel more comfortable on a horse. I’ve gotta turn you into a ranch girl.”

“City girl, be gone,” I teased but Elliot’s words echoed in my ears.

I didn’t belong here, Elliot had that right. I didn’t know what it took to run a ranch but I was willing to learn. I’d bend over backward to know all about the Lucky Heart as long as that meant I could stay by Silas’s side.

“I need to apologize for my dad. I should have warned you that something like that might happen.”

“What?” I gaped at him. He knew Elliot didn’t like me? And he hadn’t thought to mention that in the last month when I’d been practically living on the man’s property? My shock turned to anger and my mouth snapped closed with a loud bite.

“Like I said, I should have warned you.”

I huffed. “You think?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have to tell me things, Silas. I’m not some little woman that you need to shelter and protect.”

He nodded. “You’re right and I should have told you. I was just hoping that he’d get over his issues and be more respectful.”

“Well, he wasn’t. He was a jerk and I was totally unprepared. You’re just lucky that, by some miracle, I managed not to let go of my attitude and piss him off even more.”

“Babe, if Dad’s a dick, I couldn’t give two shits if you told him off. I’ve told you this a million times: don’t stifle your spirit. I love that you call me on my shit when I fuck up. Call him on his.”

My anger fizzled out. “I want your parents to like me.”

He chuckled and nudged Courage to step closer to me and Lulu. “Mom does. Dad will too. This is just a change. He’ll get over his issues.”

“What did I even do?” I asked even though I was pretty sure the answer was hurt his son all those years ago.

“Dad needed a place to point his finger. He picked you. He’s blaming you for me going into the army because he thinks that if you had stayed, I would have too. But I was gone and they had a rough couple of years. They nearly lost the ranch when the cattle market took a nosedive. It’s part of the reason why Dad’s so resistant to try new things. He finally got things back in the black and doesn’t want to take any risks.”

I deflated in the saddle as guilt settled on my shoulders like a hundred-pound weight. Elliot had a right to point fingers. Silas’s ten-year absence was my fault. I had no doubt that if I hadn’t run away, Silas would have stayed in Prescott. When were my mistakes going to stop haunting me? Would we ever be able to move past this?

I closed my eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey.” He grabbed my hand. “Look at me. It’s not your fault. You know, just like Dad does, that I was considering the military even before all that shit happened with us. Dad is just being stubborn but he’ll get over it.”

“And if he doesn’t?” If Elliot had been holding a grudge against me for sixteen years, it wasn’t going to be easy for him to forget.

“He will.”

“He might not.”

“If he doesn’t, well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Okay?”

I nodded and turned back to the view. It was hard to appreciate the beauty with a whirling mind and heavy heart. “Should we go back?”

“Lis,” Silas tugged on my hand, “it’s going to be okay. Promise.”

I really wanted to believe him. “Okay.”

All I thought about on the slow ride back was how I could approach Elliot. As always, I decided the first step would be an apology. It felt like all I’d been doing since moving back to Prescott was saying, “I’m sorry.” How many apologies would I have to make? A thousand? A million? I knew I had a lot to apologize for, but with each “I’m sorry,” the need to say three more sprouted in its place.

By the time we made it back to the barn, it was nearly noon and I was completely dejected. “Do you want some lunch?” I asked Silas as he got the horses back into their stalls. “I could put together some BLTs.”

“Sounds good. I’ll take care of these two. You can head on in.”

I forced a smile and walked to the barn door, pausing at its frame. “Silas?”

“Yeah.” He leaned out of Courage’s stall.

“If I could go back and talk to the younger me, I would. I’d tell her not to be scared and not to run away. That she was giving up something great. I hope you know that.”

His eyes softened. “I know.”

Nodding, I went inside to make lunch. I worked automatically, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me, but as I was slicing the tomato, a tear dropped down my cheek and landed on the cutting board.

I set down my knife and braced against the counter as I started crying. Every time I thought I was making progress, that I’d finally unburied myself from years of guilt, something happened and it came right back. When would it stop hurting? I hated that I’d broken Silas’s heart. Just thinking about it made me sick, but I couldn’t change the past. When was it going to stop being thrown in my face? I had been trying so hard. When would it be enough?

I didn’t even try to stop crying. I was so exhausted, so emotionally spent from the highs and lows of these last few months, I just let the tears fall onto my tomato until two strong arms wrapped around my chest.

“Don’t cry,” Silas whispered into my hair.

I dragged in a few stuttered breaths. “I’m sorry, Silas. I’m just so sorry.”

He turned me around to frame my face with his calloused hands. “Stop apologizing, Lis. There’s nothing to be sorry for. You were a kid. So was I.”

“I’m so . . . tired.” I fell into his chest. “I’m tired of feeling guilty for leaving. For not coming home sooner. I don’t know what else to do other than to keep apologizing, but I’m just so tired. Just when I think we’re moving forward, someone throws the past right back in my face. I hate myself for causing you pain. I hate it.”

His arms tightened around me, and he leaned his cheek down on the top of my head. “Having you back, holding you in my arms, makes all the pain worth it.”

“We could have had so much more time together. I threw that all away.”

“You don’t know that for certain. We both needed to leave Prescott. I don’t regret my time in the army, and if you had stayed, I think you would have resented it here. Things turned out the way they were meant to.”

He lifted his cheek, and I tipped my chin up.

“No more tears, okay? I don’t want you to feel guilty about the past or regret the time we spent apart. It’s done. Over. I want you to be happy. For us to be happy together. People like Dad will come around when they see that the past doesn’t matter to us. All right?”

I buried my face back in his chest and nodded. We were happy, and given time, things were bound to get easier. I just had to keep telling myself that.

We held each other for a while. Silas’s strong embrace made me feel sturdier. He’d never let me fall, no matter how bad things got.

“Change of plans, babe. We’re going to postpone fencing.”

“Okay. What would you like to do instead?” I asked, but the way his fingers started trailing up my back gave me a pretty good idea.

“Well, when my Lis is sad, I do what needs to be done to cheer her up.”

“Cheer away.” I barely got the words out before his hands came to my face, and he slanted it back. When his lips crashed down, I kept my mouth closed so he would have to use his tongue to coax them open.

A low and deep rumble came from his chest and I smiled before letting him in. His tongue fluttered up and down against mine, sending a wave of tingles right to my belly. That flicker was one of Silas’s signature moves. It felt great in my mouth but even better between my legs.

When his hand grabbed my ass, hard, I moaned. He did it again before banding his other arm behind my back and pulling me with him through the living room. His mouth never lost hold of mine as he laid me down on the couch.

We kissed like teenagers who hadn’t made it past second base. There was no hasty petting or rushed stripping of clothes. We just lay there, exploring. I savored the feel of Silas’s big body pressed down on mine and the way his tongue plundered my mouth, memorizing every curve and ridge.

He finally broke away and leaned back to gaze into my eyes. “The most beautiful pair of eyes in the world. I’d do just about anything to make them shine like that.”

“Anything?” I asked and he nodded. “ ‘Take me to bed or lose me forever.’ ”

His chest shook as he grinned. Yes! I’d been waiting to use that Top Gun line for a month.

Silas’s laughter stopped and he attacked. This kiss was different. Things got heated quickly, and after another one of his tongue flutters, I broke away, panting for air.

He hauled us both off the couch and laced his fingers with mine. As he led me to the loft, I used my free hand to grip the railing. Silas was the only man that had ever been able to kiss me dizzy.

He crossed the room to the bed, stripping off his shirt and socks. He turned to me and unbuttoned his jeans, leaving them hanging from his hips. No elastic waistband for boxers. Commando again.

Hot.

I walked to him and reached for his zipper. Slowly, carefully, I pulled it down, setting his hard cock free from the denim. Silas’s eyes were hooded as his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths.

Whipping the sweatshirt off my top, I tossed it on the floor and then did the same with my fitted tee. I hurried to slide my jeans down and step out, kicking them to the side. Wearing only my black lace bra and matching panties, I sank to my knees.

I hadn’t done this to Silas yet, and I was nervous, yet excited to please him and drive him wild.

When my hand wrapped around Silas’s cock, he sucked in a sharp breath. I flicked my tongue over the tip twice before finally putting the head in my mouth. When a deep groan filled the loft, I sucked his cock in deeper until it hit the back of my throat.

With my hand and my mouth, I alternated pumping and sucking until Silas’s hips started sawing back and forth, setting the rhythm of my strokes. My sex ached as he gripped the back of my head, urging me to go faster and deeper.

He was coming completely undone, and it made me want him that much more. “Lis,” he hissed. I ignored his warning and kept going. He groaned a second before his salty come hit my tongue. When I’d swallowed it all down, he hummed and let go of my hair.

Looking up, I gradually eased my mouth away, giving his tip one last flick before he popped free. Then I reached up with my index finger and wiped the corner of my mouth. Silas’s cock twitched and started getting hard again.

“I’m supposed to be cheering you up.” He helped me to my feet.

“Trust me, baby, that was fun.” It was no lie. I was so turned on he’d barely have to touch me and I’d explode.

His hands came to my shoulders and caressed the sides of my arms. On an upstroke, his fingers looped under my bra straps and pulled them down. His mouth came to my chest and he started kissing the skin right above where the lace cups hung, down one side and then up the other.

I moaned his name, closing my eyes and tipping my head back. Gently, he laid me back onto his simple gray comforter. The cotton was cool and smooth against my bare skin. I kept my eyes closed as he trailed his kisses lower and lower, down the center line of my stomach. His tongue darted out and rimmed my belly button at the same time his fingers slid into my panties, dragging them over my hips and down my legs. Silas wasted no time parting my thighs and kissing my wet folds.

And then I got the tongue flutter.

My first orgasm ripped through my body and I came, long and hard. Silas kept at it until I came again on his mouth.

When he sank his cock inside, I was still pulsing. Either it was the longest orgasm I’d ever had or he’d found a third with just one stroke. By the time he came again, my troubles had been erased.

He rolled off me and onto his back so I could collapse on his side, utterly satisfied. When I’d regained my breath, I traced the tattoo on his left shoulder with a finger. It was a heart, just like the Lucky Heart’s brand, inked in a simple, solid black line.

“When did you get this?”

“My third year in the army. Me and a bunch of the guys from my squad were on leave for a weekend in South Carolina. None of us wanted to travel far from the base so we went out drinking and talked each other into getting tattoos.”

“Why did you pick your brand?”

He kissed the top of my hair. “That was a pretty intense time for all of us. We had just gotten back to the States, and everyone was jumpy as all hell. I was on edge and restless, so when the tattoo artist asked me what I wanted, the first thing I thought of was home. I thought maybe having the brand would bring me some peace.”

“Did it?”

“Yeah. For a while.”

We stayed quiet for a while, content just to lie together. The clock on the wall ticked softly, and outside a cow was calling.

“We didn’t get any fencing done,” I said.

“It’ll be there tomorrow. We needed this today.”

I hummed in agreement. “Are you hungry?”

“Starved.”

“Okay. Stay right here.”

I climbed off his platform bed and opened a closet door under the slanted roof. Shrugging on one of his blue, long-sleeve shirts with shiny pearl snaps, I rolled up the sleeves and went downstairs to make us a tray of snacks. Then we spent the rest of the afternoon and evening snacking and talking in bed.

Silas had been right. We had needed this. Especially me. By the time the moonlight was shining through the large window above his bed, the worries I’d felt earlier in the day had all but vanished. Slowly and with his help, I was letting go of the past.

“Thank you for today.” I yawned. “Night, baby.”

He took my hand and brought it to his lips. “Good night, my Lis.” His voice was still in the air when the chime of my phone echoed through the loft.

“Ugh,” I said, reaching up to grab it from the wide windowsill above the bed.

Unknown Caller.

“Who is it?” Silas asked.

“I don’t know. Hello?”

“Is this Felicity Cleary?” I didn’t recognize the man’s voice on the other end of the line but he sounded young.

“Yes, this is Felicity.”

“Could you tell me where you are? I need to drop off someone with you.”

“Uh, who is this?”

“She wants to know who I am,” he said to someone else. I heard another voice but couldn’t make out the words. “My name’s Kenny. Now can you tell me where you are?”

Yeah, right. And lead a potential serial killer to Silas’s door? Not happening, creep.

“Look, Kenny. I don’t know you, and I’m not comfortable telling you where I am. What’s going on?”

“I’m dropping someone off.”

“Who?”

“Hey! Don’t grab my phone. I’m trying to drive here,” Kenny said to his companion, then came back on the phone. “Listen, lady, are you going to tell me where you are or not?”

“Who’s with you?” I asked but I didn’t get to hear the answer. Silas took the phone from my hand.

“What do you want?” I could hear Kenny rambling in the background. “Fine. Do you have GPS? Type this in.”

Silas gave him the address and hung up.

“What’s going on?” I asked as we both got out of bed.

“I don’t know. The kid’s spooked but I doubt he’s dangerous. He sounds like he’s fifteen years old. Let’s just see what he wants and whoever he’s got with him.”

I yanked on some jeans and pulled on a sweatshirt. I hesitated by my purse, thinking maybe I should grab my stun gun, but decided against it. Silas and the pistol he tucked into his waistband would protect me if need be. By the time we walked outside and rounded the corner of the barn, headlights were bouncing down the gravel road.

A black Prius pulled into the space next to my SUV, and out came the driver, a skinny young man with bleached-white hair.

When he stepped toward us, Silas ordered, “Stop.” The kid froze. “Kenny, time to explain.”

“Listen, I’m just here to drop her off.” He held his hands up in surrender just as the back door opened.

In the faint light, I could see a woman emerge. She stepped around Kenny and limped toward us. I gasped when I saw her bloody, swollen and barely recognizable face.

Sabrina.

“Oh my god!” I rushed from Silas’s side to Sabrina, throwing my arms around her back.

She drooped against my chest as I scanned her battered face. Both of her eyes were red and swollen. She had a gash on one cheek and another near her scalp. Her lip was puffy and split in the center.

“What happened?”

“I’m in a bit of tro—”

“Hey!” Kenny interrupted before she could finish. “Can I get paid so I can get the hell out of here and back to civilization?”

“Sorry,” Sabrina said. “Can you pay him?”

I nodded. “Sure.” Looking over her head to Kenny, I asked, “How much?”

“Five thousand dollars.”

“What!” I yelled, then looked down to Sabrina just to make sure she’d really agreed to pay this kid five thousand dollars. “Seriously?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I don’t have any money.”

“Kenny, I hope you have a PayPal account.”

He nodded and I turned to Silas. “Can you run inside and get my phone?”

He frowned, but when I mouthed “please,” he turned and jogged inside.

“Sab—”

“Don’t!” she blurted.

“What?”

“Don’t say my name,” she whispered. “I’ll explain when he’s gone. Okay?”

“Oh my god. You’re in deep, aren’t you?”

“Pretty much.” She started to slip so I shifted my feet and hands to help support her better. When I squeezed around her ribs, she flinched and moaned in pain.

“Here.” Silas returned and handed me my phone.

“Thanks.” I turned to Kenny and started questioning him rapid-fire so I could transfer him the money.

When he confirmed it was in his account, he gave Sabrina a sad look. “Good luck, Lois.”

“Thanks, Kenny,” Sabrina said. “Remember, this trip was just a nice little vacation all by yourself. And if anyone asks where you got the money, it was from an old friend paying you back for a loan.”

“Got it. I’ll be glad to forget today ever happened.” He rushed back to his car and backed away from the barn, spinning his wheels as he zoomed away.

When his taillights were out of sight, I asked, “Lois?”

“I didn’t want him to know my real name.” She stepped out of my hold. “I’m what you’d call ‘on the lam.’ ”

“Jesus,” I muttered. “Let’s go inside and you can tell us what’s going on.”

She nodded and started to limp forward but Silas said, “Here. Let me help.” He picked her up and carried her inside as I trailed behind them.

She gave him a small grin. “Thanks, Sexy Silas.”

“Sounds like you know who I am. Who are you?”

“This is Sabrina MacKenzie,” I answered, “my best friend, who is about to get the biggest ass chewing in the history of the world.”

“Better you than me,” he teased to lighten the mood. “Nice to meet you, Sabrina.”

“You too.” She looked over his shoulder and asked, “Any chance an apology will save me from that ass chewing?”

“No way in hell.”

She sighed. “I figured.” When Silas set her down on the couch, she rolled her hand in the air. “Commence ass chewing.”

“It has been weeks!” I yelled. “I had to call your boss and your doorman just to make sure you were still alive. I have been fucking worried! You made me stalk you and now this?”

“I’m sorry but I can explain.” She brushed her fingers against her swollen lips and winced.

Damn it. She was in pain and didn’t need me scolding her right now. I took a breath and reined in my anger. “Have you taken anything?”

“No.” She shook her head.

“I’ll get you something.” After handing her a glass of water and a plethora of painkillers, I sat next to her on the couch. I took her hand in mine. Blood was peeking out under her French-manicured nails.

“I knew something was wrong,” I said. All of my initial anger was gone and now I was just really, really, really worried. “I should have pushed harder to get in touch with you these last couple of weeks. I should have flown to Seattle and kidnapped your skinny ass.”

She laughed but then winced, using her free hand to clutch her ribs.

“Where exactly are you hurt?” Silas asked. He was sitting on the coffee table across from us on the couch.

“My face, obviously. I know it’s probably a wreck, but I haven’t seen it. How bad is it?”

I shook my head. “It’s not good. What else?”

“My ribs on this side where I got kicked. My ankle is pretty swollen and I think it’s sprained. I can’t put much weight on it.”

“Anything else?”

She shook her head.

I studied her battered face to see if she was hiding anything more.

“Nothing else. I promise,” she whispered. “Just the beating.”

That was bad enough, but I said a silent prayer of thanks that she hadn’t been raped.

“Okay.” I brushed her long blond hair out of her face.

It was strange to see her hair so dirty. Sabrina was willing to leave the house without makeup but her hair had to be perfect before she went out in public. She was going to need two rounds with the shampoo to get it back to its normal light blond, but that was going to have to wait until we got back from the hospital.

I looked to Silas as I stood from the couch. “Let’s take my car to the hospital.”

“No!” Sabrina grabbed my arm. “No hospital.”

“Why?”

“No one can know that I’m here.”

“But you’re hurt. What if—”

“No hospital, Felicity.” Her tone was as unwavering as her stare.

“How about this,” Silas said before I could keep arguing. “Let us call someone to help you. I’ve got a friend that used to be a nurse. She could come here and get you checked out.”

Sabrina thought about it for a moment but shook her head. “I’m in a lot of trouble. I’ve already taken a big risk by coming here. Anyone that knows I’m here could be in danger.”

“Let us be the judge of that. How about you tell us what is going on and then we’ll go from there. Okay?”

She closed her eyes and nodded. “Okay.”

Silas squeezed my hand, nodding for me to sit. Perched on the edge of my seat, I held my breath, waiting for my best friend’s explanation.

Sabrina took a deep breath. “I’ve been working on a story to expose a prominent family in Seattle with ties to the Russian mafia.”

“Shit,” Silas clipped at the same time I stood and yelled, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I knew you would react this way. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“Of course this is how I would react! You don’t mess around with the mob, Sabrina. Everyone knows that! We used to watch The Sopranos together, for Christ’s sake.”

“Calm down, babe,” Silas said. “Let’s get the rest of the story before your head explodes.”

“Fine.” I frowned but plopped back down on the couch. It was a good thing he had an iron grip on his temper because I was about to boil over.

“It all started when I met this guy,” she said. “We hooked up a couple of times last summer but then I got busy at work and never called him again. I didn’t know much about him other than his first name and number. Not that I needed more. We were just casual and I didn’t plan on seeing him again after the last time.”

She shifted a little on the couch as she struggled to find comfort. I was sure that having spent hours in the back of a Prius had done nothing but make her aches and pains worse.

“Fast forward a couple of months, and my boss pulls me into his office to talk about an organized-crime story. He’d been sent an anonymous file with evidence showing that guns were being smuggled into the country by the Russians. Not a surprise, but for once there was a chance to prove it. So I’m sitting in his office, thumbing through this file, when I land on a picture of this guy.”

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“Anton Federov.”

“As in Federov Shipping?”

She nodded. “The Federovs are alleged to be one of the wealthiest mafia families on the West Coast but no one has ever been able to take them down.”

“So of course you felt the need to give it a shot,” I said dryly.

She shrugged. “I figured it was worth a try.”

Over the next half hour, Silas and I learned all the details about Sabrina’s investigation. She had been working tirelessly through the fall and winter and had managed to collect enough documentation and evidence to send the Federovs to prison for the rest of their lives.

“How big of a smuggling ring are we talking about here?” Silas asked.

“From what I can tell, almost every international cargo shipment has at least one illegal container. Hundreds of thousands of banned weapons have been coming into the country over the last ten years.”

“Shit,” he muttered.

That meant a lot of money was involved. If Sabrina’s story threatened to cut off that illegal income for the Federovs, she was in serious danger.

“How does all of this lead to you being driven to Montana by our friend Kenny?” I asked.

“I had an inside source but everything he gave me led my investigation to shell companies. If I ran the story or handed it over to the cops, the port authority would have gotten a slap on the wrist and nothing would have changed. So I called up Anton and we started ‘dating.’ I figured if I was his girlfriend, I might be able to find evidence that tied him and his family to the gun shipments.”

“And he found out?” Silas asked.

She nodded. “This morning. I had been using a fake last name, but somehow, he learned who I was and that I was a reporter. He came to my apartment in a rage,” she pointed to her face, “and did this.”

“He could have killed you.”

She unzipped the collar of her jacket, revealing angry red bruises on her throat. “He almost did.”

I gasped and clamped a hand over my mouth as my stomach rolled. No wonder her voice had sounded hoarse.

“I almost died today. I really fucked up.” Her hopeless whisper brought tears to both our eyes.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and reached for her hand. “But you didn’t” was all I could say.

We sat quietly for a few moments, both processing the gravity of the situation. I had almost lost my best friend today and I could still lose her. The Federovs could be on their way to Montana at this very moment.

“How’d you get away?” Silas asked.

“I got lucky.” She swiped at her eyes. “Anton was choking me but stopped. He said before he killed me, he wanted to . . .”

“Rape you.” I finished her sentence.

She nodded and a tear fell down her cheek. “He must have thought I was too weak from his punches and kicks because he left me on the floor and stood up to unbuckle his belt. When he did, I kicked him in the balls as hard as I could and then ran for the door. I twisted my ankle when I was running down the stairs.”

“How’d you find Kenny?” I asked.

“I left through the alley exit and ran to the CVS on the corner. I begged the clerk to call an Uber. When Kenny showed up, I told him I’d pay him five grand under the table to drive me the twelve hours to Montana.”

“And Anton has no idea where you’re at? There’s no way he could have followed you?” Silas asked.

“No.” She shook her head. “With any luck, before they can find me, each of the Federovs will be in prison. Yesterday, I sent a file to the FBI that has evidence directly linking Anton, his brother and his dad to the gun smuggling. My boss is running with the story as we speak.” She turned to me and with a small grin. “I got the bastard.”

I grinned back. She’d gotten herself into an epic mess, but she had always been committed to making the world a better place. And now she had.

Silas stood from the coffee table and raked a hand through his hair. “You’re in a fuckload of danger.”

“I know.” Her frame deflated and she shrank into the couch. “What am I going to do?”

I didn’t have an immediate answer. Families with mafia ties were not known to just let their enemies go free. But there had to be a way to figure this out. We could—no, we would find a way to keep her safe.

“Let’s start by getting you cleaned and bandaged up.” She opened her mouth to protest but I held up my hands. “No hospital.”

Her shoulders fell as she breathed, “Thank you.”

I took a quick inventory of her clothes, but none were salvageable. Her black leggings were ripped and her pale-pink zip-up was spotted with dried blood. Her matching pink tennis shoes were also spotted but would have to work because her feet were two sizes smaller than mine. “While you take a nice, hot shower, I’ll find you something else to wear. Then we’ll regroup.”

She nodded. “Good plan.”

I helped her to the bathroom and brought down some clothes from the bedroom. As the shower turned on, I met Silas in the kitchen and let him pull me into his arms.

“I’m scared,” I whispered. “This is bad. I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

I needed Sabrina in my life. She loved me for me and I loved her for her. We confided in one another. We always told each other when jeans gave us mom butt. We were going to be nursing-home roommates. We were a pair.

Silas kissed the top of my head. “You won’t lose her. I’ll make sure of it, but babe, she can’t stay here. I don’t want her anywhere near you until this blows over.”

“She has nowhere else to go. We can’t just kick her out. Can’t we think of something?”

He answered by pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“Who are you calling?”

“Reinforcements.”

The first to arrive after Silas got off the phone was Maisy with a sleeping Coby in her arms. Our next guest was my brother toting his gun and Gigi’s massive first-aid kit. Lastly, Beau Holt arrived wearing the same angry frown as Jess.

Even if he was grumpy, my brother’s presence eased a lot of my worries. I was confident that between Silas, Jess and Beau, we could come up with a plan to keep Sabrina out of the Federovs’ grasp.

“When are the women of this town going to stop causing so much trouble?” Jess asked as we stood around and waited for Sabrina to come out of the shower.

“I’m telling Gigi you said that,” Maisy said, joining us in the kitchen.

Jess grumbled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit. Thought you were upstairs.”

“Is Coby still asleep?” I asked.

She nodded. “He could sleep through an earthquake.” Turning to Silas, she asked, “Where’s my patient?”

“She’s in the bathroom. When she comes out, can you take a look at her face and ribs?”

“No problem.” She started inspecting the contents of the first-aid kit. Maisy had once been a nurse, but after being kidnapped, held captive and nearly killed in the hospital, she’d given up her career to take over Prescott’s motel.

“Thanks for coming to help,” I said. Luckily, Maisy had been willing to come over so we hadn’t had to call over a pregnant Gigi.

“No problem. I’m glad to be—”

She stopped talking when the bathroom door opened. Everyone’s eyes swung to the hallway as Sabrina limped out and came right to my side.

“Sabrina, this is my brother, Jess. Remember I told you he’s also the Jamison County sheriff?”

“Hi,” she said dismissively and turned to me with a frown. “Did you forget in the last thirty minutes that I was in hiding? Who are these people? And you brought in a cop? We can’t report any of this.”

“Don’t worry,” Jess said. “I’m off the record.”

She relaxed a bit so I continued introductions. “This is Maisy Holt. She used to be a nurse so she’s going to take a look at your injuries.”

“Thanks,” Sabrina told her. “I’d appreciate that.”

Lastly, I introduced Beau. “And this is Beau Holt, Maisy’s brother. We were in high school together.”

Sabrina tipped her head way back to meet Beau’s stern scowl. She was a couple of inches shorter than me, which meant he stood almost a foot above her. “Nice to meet you,” she said but his face didn’t soften. Sabrina assumed a scowl of her own and asked, “I get why the cop and the nurse are here, but what’s your role in all of this, Goliath?”

“Sabrina,” I hissed.

“What?” She feigned innocence.

Before we could start debating the appropriateness of her affinity for nicknames, Silas interjected. “Beau’s here to help figure out where we can stash you for a while.”

“Stash me?” Sabrina asked. “I thought I could just hide out at Felicity’s place.”

“Not happening,” Silas stated at the same time Jess and Beau chorused, “No.”

“Sit down.” I pulled out a stool and patted the seat. “Maisy can get to work on you while we all brainstorm what to do.”

“How about we get the full story first?” Jess asked. “I’d like to hear this from the beginning.”

Thirty minutes later, everyone knew Sabrina’s story. Maisy deemed none of Sabrina’s injuries too serious and said the wounds on her face would heal with minimal scarring. Deciding the less she knew the better, she collected Coby to go home. The minute the door closed behind her, Jess started grilling Sabrina about the evidence she’d sent to the police.

“You’re sure you got enough evidence for a conviction to stick?”

“I’m sure. The FBI should have taken down an illegal handgun shipment,” she glanced at the clock on the oven, “six hours ago. With my intel, Anton should currently be sitting in a jail cell.”

“You trust the federal agent you contacted?”

She nodded. “I’ve worked with him for years. He’s a good guy and an even better cop. He’s solid.”

“If he’s such a good cop, why’d he let a reporter do an investigation meant for the FBI?” Jess asked.

“You kept it a secret, didn’t you?” I asked Sabrina.

She nodded. “No one knew what I was doing.”

“Reckless,” Jess huffed. “Just like coming here. You should have gone to your FBI guy instead.”

“Probably,” she admitted. “But I panicked and my first thought was to run. I’m not all that confident in protective custody and really don’t want to enter witness protection.”

Jess shook his head. “The Federovs aren’t going to stay in jail for long. They’ll be after you if they aren’t already.”

“I know but as soon as my story breaks tomorrow, they’ll be hounded by the press. They won’t be able to go anywhere without an audience.”

“That still doesn’t make it safe for you to go back to Seattle,” I said.

“And you can’t show your face in Prescott,” Silas added. “The first place they’ll look for you is with family and friends.”

“You need to be off the grid,” Beau rumbled.

“That’s what I’m thinking,” Jess said. “You got any ideas?”

“Maybe one of the outposts? The one on the north side of Fan Mountain? I could take her up there and get her settled. Stick around for a while and clean the place up. Then make trips up and down to keep her in supplies.”

Jess and Silas shared a look. Were they grinning? How was this funny?

“I think that would work,” Silas said.

“What’s an outpost?” I asked.

Jess smirked. “Think of it like a cabin in the woods.”

“Wait a minute.” Sabrina’s face paled. “I don’t think that’s necessary. I’ll just promise not to go out in public, stay tucked away in Felicity’s closet or something. I’ll be like Harry Potter living in my tiny cupboard.”

“I’m sorry, Sabrina,” Silas said gently, “but I’m not having you anywhere near Lis.”

Silas, my protector. My heart warmed and I gave him a small smile.

“I can understand why you’d say that,” Sabrina said. “I don’t want her in harm’s way either, but I’m not going to disappear into the wilderness with a strange man.”

“Then what are you going to do?” Jess asked.

She lifted a hand and twirled a lock of hair. She was worried. Really worried. That hair twirl was her one tell. “I don’t know. I need a new ID. Maybe a car. Can you lend me some money?”

I nodded. “Sure.”

“Okay. What else?” Sliding off her stool, she hobbled across the living room to a big window and stared into the dark night.

“Talk to her, babe,” Silas said quietly. “Going with Beau is the safest thing for her. She shouldn’t be on her own and out in the open.”

I nodded and turned to Beau. “What’s this outpost like? The truth?”

“It’s not much, but there’s water, power and heat. We use the outposts for forest-fire crews and the one I’m thinking about is really secluded. She’d be as hidden as it could get.”

Damn it. They were right but this was not going to be an easy sell. “She hates nature. She hates dirt and bugs. She gets weekly mani-pedis and spends every Friday afternoon shopping. This will be like torture for her.”

“If she goes out on her own and fucks up, she’ll hit their radar in seconds and then she’s dead,” Jess said.

I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around my stomach. I couldn’t bear to think about what the Federovs would do if they tracked her down. She’d be tortured, raped and killed, of that I had no doubt.

This outpost was her best shot at life.

“Talk to her.” Silas rounded the island and tucked me into his side. “She’ll listen to you. When she sees how worried you are, she’ll go with Beau.”

I nodded, leaving the men in the kitchen, and went to the living room and stood next to Sabrina. Taking a few moments to stare into the dark night, I formulated my speech, then dove right in. “I think you should go with Beau.”

“No way,” she fired back immediately.

“Please, hear me out? They’ll track you down if you’re using my credit cards. The five thousand dollars I gave Kenny is going to show up as a huge red flag. They could find you here in the time it would take you to get a fake ID. It’s not like you can jump on an airplane. So what does that leave? You driving around the country like a vagabond, living out of the back seat and cheap motels?”

“That sounds better than living in a shack in the mountains.”

“Really? Are you sure about that? I’ve heard three out of ten motels have bed bugs.” That last part wasn’t true but it helped make my point. She would be miserable constantly running from one place to the next and there was no way she’d be able to afford top-of-the-line hotels for however long this lasted.

She took a deep, loud breath and dropped her forehead to press against the glass. “Fuck. You’re right. I’ll go with Goliath.”

“Thank you.” I pulled her in for a gentle hug. “He’s a good guy and I know he’ll keep you safe. Think of it like a rustic adventure. Maybe write a story about it.”

We spent the next two hours rushing around Prescott buying food, picking up supplies from Beau’s house and getting Sabrina clothes and linens from mine. By the time we came back to the ranch, it was well after midnight and Beau’s truck was packed to the brim.

Standing outside the barn, I wrapped my arms around Sabrina and held tight. “I love you. Watch your back and listen to Beau.”

She nodded. “Love you too, lady. Be safe.”

We hugged until Silas’s hand stroked the back of my hair. “Time to go.”

“Take care of her,” she said to Silas at the same time I said those words to Beau.

Both men nodded and I hugged my friend once more. Please don’t let this be the last hug we have. My silent wish floated into the dark night sky. When Beau’s truck disappeared down the gravel road, I found myself wrapped in Silas’s arms.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?”

He sighed. “I honestly don’t know, but I hope so.”

“Me too,” I whispered. Me too.

“Baby?” I gently placed my hand on Silas’s chest.

He stopped whipping his head back and forth on the pillow and shot straight up in bed. His eyes remained blank for a moment until he blinked and cleared the fog of sleep. Rubbing his hands over his face, he muttered, “Fuck.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Throwing the comforter aside, he swung his legs to the floor and went downstairs. When he disappeared from my sight, I listened to his footsteps pad through the living room and into the bathroom. I fell back into bed at the sound of the shower’s spray.

This had been his fifth nightmare in a week.

I glanced at the clock and cringed. It was just after five in the morning. There was no use trying to go back to sleep so I slipped out of bed and shrugged on some gray leggings and a plum hoodie.

By the time Silas emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, I had the coffee made and was nearly done with our oatmeal. “Do you want raisins?”

“Fine,” he muttered and went upstairs to dress.

He joined me at the bar and we ate in silence. It had been nearly a week since Sabrina’s dramatic appearance, and all but one morning had been like this. The nightmares had started two days after she’d gone into the mountains with Beau.

I had no clue what he was dealing with, but something about her visit had triggered the nightmares. Was it memories from his time in the army? I could only venture to guess. Every time I had asked, he’d locked down and shut me out.

“Thanks for breakfast.” He placed his bowl in the dishwasher. “I’m going to head out. Get an early start on fencing.”

“Okay. I don’t have anything going on today. Can I help?”

“You don’t need to do that.” He barely kissed the top of my head as he walked toward the door.

Fuck this. “Stop.”

“What?”

I hopped off my stool and met him in the hall. He spun around and didn’t try to hide his annoyance that I’d hindered his escape. I mirrored his stance, fisting my hands on my hips.

“I said stop. You don’t get to keep closing me out, Silas. Something is wrong and if you don’t want to talk about it, fine. But avoiding me and spending all day wearing yourself out until you’re utterly exhausted? That’s not working either.”

“I’m not avoiding you.” He started to turn but I grabbed his arm and held him back.

“Do not lie to me.”

His annoyance vanished. “Shit. I’m sorry.” He stepped into my space and pulled me in for a hug. “I’m in a bad mood and didn’t want to make you deal with it.”

“You are always there to cheer me up when I’m in a bad mood. Don’t take away my chance to do the same for you.”

His cheek pressed against my hair. “You’re right.”

“I know.”

He chuckled and let me go. “Is your offer to help me with the fencing still on the table?”

“It’s going to cost you.”

“I’m willing to pay. What’s the price?”

I smiled. “You have to watch Top Gun with me tonight.”

He smiled back and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. “Deal.”

“And you have to find someone to talk to about what’s bothering you.”

He shrugged. “We’ll see.”

It wasn’t a yes but I hadn’t really expected one. Silas buried his demons. He let their bad juju fester and grow until he couldn’t keep them locked down anymore and they let loose his roaring temper. I considered it a personal miracle that he’d ever opened up to me about the ranch and his dad. Somehow, he’d trusted me with those troubles. Maybe in time, he’d trust me enough to spill the rest.

“Okay. Let me change real quick.” I tipped my chin up for a quick kiss before hustling upstairs. I came down wearing ripped jeans and the Mustangs sweatshirt I’d stolen from him.

He tossed me my leather gloves, and we walked to the barn, where he collected a roll of barbed wire, a pair of fencing pliers and a bundle of steel fence posts. After loading up his truck, he drove me down a gravel road not far from his parents’ house and into a wide, green meadow filled with wildflowers of every color.

“This is beautiful,” I said when he parked next to a grove of trees that ran along the creek.

“This is my favorite spot on the ranch. Someday, this is where I’d like to build a house.”

A home here would be amazing. No matter how it was positioned, every view would be spectacular. On one side was the mountains; the other had the meadow and a grove of trees.

I could definitely live here.

I smiled, wishing one day I’d get that chance.

“Ready for your crash course in barbed wire?”

I grinned. “Bring it on.”

Three hours later, I’d stripped my sweatshirt down to the simple, white tank top underneath, now-drenched. My muscles hadn’t worked this hard in ages and I was a sweaty, hot mess. No wonder Silas had such a sculpted body and never went to the gym.

The patch of fence that we were repairing was deep in the trees. Silas was using a chainsaw to cut up a huge Cottonwood tree that had fallen onto the fence itself, and as he cut, I tossed the wood blocks into a pile, then hauled them all back to his truck for firewood.

Once the debris was cleared, we got to work on restringing the wire. Silas pounded steel posts into the ground, then I helped him string the barbed wire, attaching it to the posts using special clips. My arms had been scraped repeatedly and I looked like I’d lost a fight with an angry herd of barn cats.

But as difficult as it had been, I was enjoying the hard work. More so, I was enjoying working side by side with Silas.

“Let’s take a break.” He wiped his brow with his forearm.

His tight, white T-shirt showcased his broad and muscled chest. Damp with sweat, it clung to all the right places to highlight just how ripped he was, and as soon as we got back to his place, that shirt was coming off.

Silas sank down onto a fallen log, and I sat next to him, taking a long drink of cool water from his canteen. “Thanks for your help, babe. This would have taken me twice as long without your help.”

“Really?” Pride swelled in my chest.

He leaned over and brushed his lips against mine. “Really.”

I stared into his brown eyes full of bright sunlight and knew he wasn’t just appeasing me. Elliot had said that I didn’t belong here, and maybe he’d end up being right. Ranch work really wasn’t my passion or my forte. But I did belong with Silas.

And since my man loved this ranch more than anything in the world, I’d put up with sore muscles and scraped skin every day of the week. I rested my head on his shoulder and listened to the birds chirping in the trees. When we’d both had more water, he helped me off the log and we got back to work.

As the morning went on, the sunlight disappeared and the clouds turned gray. I was pinching on my last wire clip when a drop of rain hit my nose. Three more followed and landed on my arms before the clouds burst and not even the trees could keep out the downpour.

“Gah!” I yelled, holding my hands over my head as I ran down the narrow trail toward the truck. Silas stood at the end of the trail.

He was just standing there. Not waiting to rush me back to the truck. Not shielding his face from the rain. Just standing and staring. His arms were hanging at his sides as he let the drenching rain wash over him.

My hands fell from my face when I reached him and the rain soaked my hair, running down my forehead and into my eyelashes. “What’s wrong?”

The water streamed down his face but he didn’t answer my question.

“Silas?” I was starting to get worried until a small smile tugged at his lips.

“You’re breathtaking, Lis.”

My breath hitched. Soaking wet with matted hair and no makeup, I had never felt more beautiful.

Silas’s fingers caressed my cheek. I tipped my head so it rested against his wrist and closed my eyes, letting the rain drip down my nose and over my lips. So what if we were wet? If he wanted to stand here in the rain, I’d stand here too.

When his warm breath hit my lips, his nose rubbed against the side of mine. I opened my eyes when his fingers started tracing the rain drops down the sides of my arms. Goose bumps broke across my skin and my heart pounded as I stood perfectly still, enjoying the feel of his sensual touch coupled with the rain.

His fingers reached mine and he laced them together before pulling me forward on the trail. He didn’t turn but was somehow able to navigate the rough ground as he walked backward. It was erotic, having his eyes locked on my face, refusing to break away.

The trail came to an end and we stepped out of the trees into the meadow. Silas’s back hit the truck and his slow, steady pursuit changed to a rough, greedy claiming as his mouth crushed down on mine. The heat from his tongue mixed with the cool water as both invaded my mouth. I let out a small moan when his hands started jerking and yanking at my wet clothes.

My hands went to his shirt, lifting it up so I could pull at the button on his jeans. When it was free, I slid down the zipper and let my hands slip underneath the damp denim to grip his muscled rear. I squeezed and kneaded the curves of his ass, pulling his hips closer to mine so I could feel his erection against my stomach.

He untangled his tongue from mine but kept our lips pressed together. “Inside,” he ordered. We leaned to the left and I reached around him to open the door’s handle.

He hopped inside first, tugging down his jeans. His hard cock sprang free and my mouth watered. I kicked out of my jeans and panties before climbing into the back seat, setting my thighs on the outside of his. My lips found the skin at his neck, and without hesitation, I lined up my entrance and sank down onto him.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “You feel so good, Lis.”

One of his hands came to my ass and he guided me up and down on his cock. The other dove inside my bra, rolling and pinching my hard nipples.

“Yeah, baby.” My moan vibrated against his corded throat and he let out a deep rumble of his own.

“Faster,” he commanded.

I braced my hands on his shoulders and worked my hips and thighs faster. His hand abandoned my breasts so both of his strong arms could support my legs as I fucked him. We slammed together, his hips thrusting upward to meet my descent, and each time we came together, my clit ground against the base of his cock.

My legs were starting to burn but I kept going, powered on by the sensation of my building orgasm. “Silas,” I gasped before it overtook me. White spots broke out behind my closed eyes and I cried out, clenching around him. I tried to keep moving but the wave of pleasure was too strong. All I could do was feel as it washed over me, bucking my hips as I pulsed.

I was coming down when Silas twisted us across the bench seat. With one of my legs on the floor and the other thrown over the seat back, he settled into my hips and started pounding. With his eyes locked on mine, he reached between us, found my clit and took me over the edge again, this time coming with me. The truck’s cab filled with sound as we both let go. Collapsing on top of me, his heavy breaths heated my neck as his come leaked down my rear. I loved that intimacy, knowing his seed was inside me.

“It just keeps getting better,” I murmured into his neck. “How is that possible? Every time I have to redo my top five.”

He leaned back and cocked his head. “Top five?”

I grinned. “Oh, yeah. Top five.” When his eyebrows furrowed, I brought a hand between us and rubbed the crease out. “Don’t worry. They all belong to you.”

His frown turned into a proud smile. “What’s number one?”

“It’s a secret.” I winked. The first time we’d ever been together would always be my number one.

Silas chuckled and pulled out, sitting up and taking me with him. With one skilled maneuver, he reversed our positions so he was on his back and I was lying on his chest. The rain dribbled on the truck’s roof, and the windows were all fogged white.

His hand came up and he stroked my hair while I closed my eyes and relaxed. The early morning, hard work and amazing sex had worn me out.

My clothes were all outside, getting soaked. Should I get up to get them?

Nah.

I’d walk home naked if that meant I got to take a nap on Silas while the rain lulled me to sleep.

Silas

Reaching under the seat, I fished out the flannel blanket I kept in the truck, draping it over Felicity’s bare back.

It wasn’t overly comfortable lying on the bench seat. My legs were at an odd angle, much too long for the tight space, and a seat-belt latch was digging into my side. But with Felicity content and sleepy, I’d be damned if I moved an inch.

“Lis?” I said before she could fall asleep.

She yawned. “Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For helping me today.”

“Anytime, baby,” she whispered and nuzzled further into my neck. I trailed my hands slowly down her back until her weight settled as she drifted off.

I’d been a dick this week, short and irritable, and I felt bad for taking it out on her. But these nightmares, they were fucking with my head.

Felicity probably assumed it was my time in the army causing my bad dreams. It wasn’t. I had been exposed to extreme violence and intensity, but somehow, I had learned to compartmentalize that time and not let it get to me.

Many others, like Paxon, were not as fortunate. I didn’t envy the way his memories would sneak up on him and thrust him into the past. He had been more forthcoming with me lately. A couple of times this week, he’d confided in me some of the problems he was having coping with his civilian life and I hoped that with a calm home and hard work, he would find a way to quiet his mind.

Those things had helped me. Coming home to Montana had made all the difference in the world and I hadn’t lost sleep because of my military past in years.

My nightmares were from Wes.

Right before Christmas, two years ago, I had been driving along an old country road on the far edge of the ranch and spotted something in the ditch.

Not something. Someone. Wes.

My childhood friend.

Dead.

He had been stabbed brutally and left to bleed out in the snow. His white skin and empty eyes had been in my dreams almost every night this past week. He’d sit up from his icy grave and tell me that Felicity would never be mine. That she’d always love him.

His blue lips would speak my biggest fear.

Felicity would always love Wes more than me. I was competing with a ghost. Men like me didn’t like to come in second place, but I had no chance at beating Wes. Felicity wasn’t over him.

I could read the signs.

In sixteen years, she’d never moved on. She’d had plenty of time to meet someone, get married and have kids. Instead, she’d dated assholes like that douchebag Andrea Merkuso was marrying. She’d dated men with no chance of replacing her love for Wes.

When she’d come home from Seattle, she had said that it was for her family and to be around for her mom, but I didn’t buy it. I think she came back because, now that Wes was gone, this was the only place where she still had a connection to him. Here, she could visit his grave and spend time with his parents.

For Christ’s sake, she kept a picture of them from high school on her mantel. Her house was void of any other photographs except the one of her and Wes. I’d seen that picture months ago and known I’d always just be a second-place contender for her heart.

And as much as all that shit had bothered me, I’d been able to push it down, ignore it and bury it deep. There had been no nightmares until Sabrina had showed up at my door.

Did Felicity recognize that her best friend was the spitting image of Wes?

Sabrina had lighter hair and eyes of a different color, but her face, nose and mouth were the same shape, and she reminded me so much of a younger Wes it was uncanny. Felicity had left us all behind but had made sure to find a Wes replacement to fill his void. How the fuck was I supposed to ignore that?

For the first time ever, I was actually glad she’d stayed gone for sixteen years. Seeing them together in my nightmares was bad enough. If she’d come home and reconnected with Wes, it would have gutted me. I would have re-enlisted and never come back.

But here we were, together. Get over this shit, man.

I had to work this out. Alone.

I wouldn’t tell Felicity about the nightmares, but I would spend more days like today, soaking up the comfort of her presence. Reminding myself over and over that Wes was gone and she was mine.

And that second place was better than no place at all.

“I’ll never get these back on.”

I had just woken up from my nap and Silas had gone outside to fetch my clothes. My shirt was soaked but at least I could pull it on. My jeans were a different story.

“Just wrap up in the blanket and I’ll carry you inside.”

The rain had stopped and I cracked my window to take deep breaths of the clean, sweet air as he drove us home.

“Do you think we’ll hear from Beau soon?” I asked.

Sabrina had been constantly on my mind and I hated that I couldn’t talk to her. I had called her phone a couple of times this week, leaving increasingly frantic fake messages in case anyone from the mafia was monitoring her calls, and each time I’d heard her voicemail recording, my worries had increased.

“I doubt it,” Silas said. “They’ve got supplies for nearly a month. He’ll probably stay up there and make sure she’s set before he comes back.”

“I feel so bad for inconveniencing him but I’m unbelievably grateful at the same time. If he hadn’t offered to do that, I don’t know what we would have done.”

“Don’t feel bad,” he said. “We’ll all do what we can to keep your friend alive.”

It meant so much that everyone had rallied around Sabrina, that they’d do something so risky just for me. “Thank you.” I just hoped that Sabrina wasn’t being too tough on Beau and that when he left her up there alone, she didn’t go crazy. I had sent her with my Kindle but there was only so much she could read before getting restless.

Silas took my hand. “I still can’t believe her story. She’s got talent, that’s for sure.”

“There’s a true statement.”

Sabrina’s story had come out, as promised, the day after she’d left for the outpost. Her writing had been impeccable. Her story crafted to perfection. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought it was a creative-writing piece, not an investigative report.

Setting those worries aside, I changed the subject. “What do you want for dinner?” As we pulled up to the barn, we were still debating options. I was just reaching for my door handle when Silas’s parents emerged from inside with Dolly happily trailing behind.

“Oh, no.” I tucked the blanket around my bare legs and tried to cover up my breasts. My pink satin bra was shining brightly through my see-through white tank.

“Sit tight,” Silas said, rolling down his window as his parents approached the truck.

“Hi, kids,” Olivia said with a smile. Elliot didn’t say hello, he just stared at Silas.

“Hi,” Silas said. “What are you guys up to?”

“We took the four-wheelers out for a quick drive. It smells so good, I couldn’t stay in the house,” his mom said. “What are you two doing?”

“Just got back from fixing fence down in the lower meadow.”

Elliot’s eyes raked over me and his mouth turned down in distaste. “Right.”

“Dad,” Silas grumbled. “Watch it.”

“Ignore him,” Olivia said. “He’s just mad because I beat him in cribbage twice today. What are you two doing for dinner? I was hoping you’d be free and could come over. I’m making Silas’s favorite, shepherd’s pie.”

Silas looked to me for an answer. “That sounds great,” I told Olivia. “Can we bring anything?”

She shook her head. “Just come on over around six.” The smile on her face was pure, unexpected joy. “Come on, you old grump.” She pulled Elliot away from Silas’s window.

When they were out of sight, Silas hopped out and came to my door, carrying me inside. “Thanks for agreeing to dinner. I know it will make Mom happy.”

“You don’t have to thank me. Considering they live a hundred feet away, we rarely see them.”

I was looking forward to spending more time with Olivia, though I could do without seeing Elliot. Clearly his attitude toward me hadn’t changed and I had a feeling I’d be under scrutiny all through dinner.

Unfortunately, I was right. By the time Olivia served her chocolate sheet cake, I was ready to crawl under the table and stab Elliot in the foot with my fork.

Elliot hadn’t stopped glaring at me since the second I’d crossed the threshold. Olivia had been overly nice and friendly, going above and beyond to make up for her husband’s attitude, but Silas was about five seconds from exploding.

My hand had been attached to his knee beneath the table since we’d taken our seats. If not for his mother and my frequent knee squeezes to reassure him that I was fine, I think he would have dragged me out of there before Olivia had the chance to serve her meal.

“We need to talk about the branding,” Elliot said to Silas. “It’s a month away. Time to start lining up a crew.”

I sighed, glad that we’d finally landed on a topic that didn’t involve me. In two hours, Elliot and Olivia had interrogated me about my life these last sixteen years. Olivia’s questions had been sweet and curious. Elliot’s had been direct and critical.

“I think we’ll have plenty of help,” Silas said. “The Lee brothers confirmed they could come and rope calves with me. Between Paxon and some of the other guys, we’ll have enough wrestlers. You can take the irons, and Gus can vaccinate.”

Rope. Wrestle. Irons. Vaccinate. I made a mental note to ask Silas what all of that meant.

“Good,” Elliot said. “I figured you’d be on top of it. I don’t know what you think, but I’d rather not let Gus rope. No matter what he says, being on a horse is no place for him.”

“Agreed,” Silas said. “If he begs either of us to rope for a while, let’s tell him no. I don’t want him doing something else to stress his back. Vaccinating should be plenty.”

Silas’s leg relaxed. It was nice to see him and his dad agree on something about the ranch. They still had their disagreements, but maybe this was a sign of more cooperative times ahead.

“Have you ever been to a branding before, Felicity?” Olivia asked.

“I haven’t.” I smiled, relaxing too. “I’m looking forward to seeing it.”

“It’s quite a production.”

“What’s she going to do there?” Elliot asked Silas.

And just like that, we were all tense again.

“Whatever she wants,” Silas growled. I pressed down harder on his leg when he started to rise.

“Elliot,” Olivia warned.

“Just wondering if I need to plan on her being in the way,” he grumbled. “You know how it is with people who don’t know what they’re doing. We’ll spend all day making sure she doesn’t hurt herself.”

“I’ll be sure to follow instructions and not get in the way.” My smile was fake. I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t open my mouth and tell him to kiss my ass. My patience was wearing thin, but the last thing we needed was an argument during my first dinner in the Grants’ home.

Don’t let him get to you. I pushed my fork farther away.

Silas glared at his dad and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Felicity will get to do whatever she wants. This is her first branding and I want her to enjoy it. If she wants to stand around and watch, that’s what she’ll do. If she wants to help, we’re all going to teach her what to do. Understand?”

Elliot’s face turned red but before he could respond to Silas’s decree, Olivia jumped in. “Felicity, I could really use your help that morning with all the cooking. We host a big dinner that evening for the crew and their families.”

“I’d love to help. Whatever you need.”

“Great! And would you mind inviting your family? It’s been ages since I’ve seen your mother.”

“I’m sure she’d love to come.”

“Jess usually comes to help every year,” Silas said. “We should have Gigi and the kids come along too. I’ll take Roe for a ride on Lulu.”

My anxiety about the branding instantly settled. Having my family here would give me a safe group to be with while he was working. I wasn’t surprised that Silas had already thought ahead. If he couldn’t be with me all day, buffering my interactions with Elliot, he’d make sure my family was by my side.

I smiled and gratefully leaned into his side. “I’m sure they’d have a great time.”

Turning back to the table, my eyes locked with Elliot’s. His thoughts were transparent.

Sorry, Elliot, but I’m not going anywhere.

No matter what challenge he put in my path.

The next month flew by and the morning of the branding came fast.

“All right, sweetie,” Olivia said. “Looks like the troops are arriving. Let’s get the breakfast pastries and coffee outside.”

“Okay.” I smiled nervously, grabbing a platter of cinnamon rolls.

I was so worked up that my hands were shaking. Over the last month, Silas had explained the process, and though I was excited to see it all firsthand, I still didn’t know what to expect.

Silas and I had been up before five this morning to start preparations. I’d showered and joined Olivia in her kitchen while Silas and Elliot had worked to prepare everything in the corral beside the barn where the branding would take place.

As I was heading outside, a truck and horse trailer pulled through the lot and drove down to the corral. I smiled as they passed me carrying my platter of rolls to the barn, where Olivia and I had set up a nice, long table right outside its doors so the crew could grab pastries and refill coffee cups as they went back and forth to the corral.

Please, let this go well for Silas. He’d told me that branding was one of his favorite things to do every year, and he deserved to have the day go smoothly, to have some fun. His nightmares weren’t as bad but he was still having them occasionally. The stress of the ranch still weighed heavily on his shoulders and things with Elliot were still strained.

He needed a good day.

“We couldn’t have asked for better weather.” Olivia joined me with a huge thermos of coffee.

“It’s beautiful.” I took a few deep breaths of the cool May morning air and looked to the sky. There wasn’t a cloud in sight and the sun was shining brightly. By noon, the chill would be gone and it would be the perfect day for outside work. “What else do we need to do?”

“Nothing right this minute.” Olivia smiled and linked her arm through mine. “Let’s go check on the guys.” We walked along the corral’s fence to where Silas and Elliot were greeting the men from the truck. “Those are the Lee brothers,” she said. “Do you remember them? They are quite a bit older than you.”

I shook my head. I’d probably be surrounded by unfamiliar faces all day and couldn’t wait for Mom, Jess and Gigi to arrive.

“Morning,” Olivia called to the men.

They all turned and one of the Lee brothers waved. Olivia released my arm and I joined Silas at his side. With an arm around my shoulders, he introduced me to the twin brothers.

“This is my girlfriend, Felicity Cleary.”

We shook hands and one of the brothers asked, “Cleary. You’re the sheriff’s sister?”

I smiled. “That’s me.”

“Speak of the devil, here he comes now.” Silas nodded toward the barn.

I turned and saw Gigi’s SUV park next to my car. The Cleary gang piled out and, with Rowen skipping wildly at my mom’s side, joined our huddle.

“Aunt Lissy!” Rowen screeched, hugging my legs.

I bent to kiss her nose and then leaned over to hug my mom. “Hi,” I said. “How are you today?”

“I’m great.” She smiled and started visiting with Olivia.

Mom had started the drug trial a month ago, and it seemed to be making a small difference. I had been spending afternoons with her instead of evenings, those being reserved for Silas, and I hadn’t seen her have an episode for almost a month. I had my fingers crossed our lucky streak would continue.

“How’s my big man?” I took Ben from Jess’s arms and kissed his chubby cheeks. “Excited to play outside and get dirty?”

“We might have to hose him off before we go home,” Gigi teased. She was as beautiful as ever this morning, her skin glowing and hair shining. It would be just a couple more months until baby girl Cleary joined our family and I couldn’t wait to meet her.

“Choc,” Ben said.

“In a little bit.” I’d definitely won my nephew over but had created a bit of a chocolate-obsessed monster in the process.

After visiting for a while, Elliot declared that there was work to be done and everyone went their separate ways. Gigi and I went back to the house and sat at an outside table, enjoying a morning coffee while the kids played in the yard. In the background, the cows and calves were bellowing.

“So, Jess tried to explain all of this to me last night but I’m still confused as to what’s exactly going to happen,” Gigi said.

“You and me both. I’ve been asking Silas questions for a month and still can’t picture it.”

Last night, the cattle had all been brought into an arena that adjoined the branding corral. Silas and the Lee brothers would ride in and rope the small calves, pulling them into the branding arena. From there, a crew of wrestlers would hold down the calves while Elliot gave them a brand and Gus vaccinated them against common bovine illnesses.

Gigi smirked. “I can’t wait to see Jess wrestling around in the dirt.”

“Silas said that if I wanted to try, I could. And he promised to teach me how to rope this summer. I guess Olivia used to be one of the best ropers around.”

“Seriously?” Gigi asked. “That’s awesome. I hope you try the wrestling thing. I’ll be sure to take a lot of pictures of you filthy and gross to use against you one day.”

“Gee. Thanks,” I deadpanned.

“Do you think the branding is going to hurt the calves? I really hope not. They’re so cute and happy.”

“Silas says that calves are a lot tougher than we’d expect, and the pain only seems to bother them for a second. He promised me that by the end of the day, they’d all be back to running around and playing with one another in the pasture. Still, I feel bad for the little guys too.”

“Did you know it’s the law to have them branded? Jess told me that, and I thought he was joking. He made me Google it when I didn’t believe him.”

“Well, one thing about today is for certain—it will be educational.”

Hours later, the ranch was packed full of laughing and smiling people. The branding wasn’t just a necessary task but also a chance for neighboring farmers and ranchers to spend time with one another. The fence next to the corral was lined with people watching the crew work in the arena.

My eyes constantly wandered to Silas. He looked so handsome and commanding, as he always did riding Courage. I felt so proud to call him mine, and in twenty years, I wanted to be in this exact place, watching him manage another branding.

The fence line erupted in laughter when one of the bigger calves almost got the best of Jess and Paxon and the duo was sent flying into the dirt, smiling and cursing at the same time. They, along with the other wrestlers, were all filthy but happy.

Silas called for a lunch break and the crew disbursed to grab sandwiches from the table Olivia and I had set up for them. After tying up Courage, Silas sauntered over to me at the fence. “Hey, babe.”

“Hey, yourself. Looking good out there, baby.” I winked

He tipped back his cowboy hat and leaned down to brush his lips against mine. “Having fun?”

“This is amazing. Do you still think I could try to wrestle one of the calves later?”

It wasn’t really wrestling the creatures, just holding down their legs so they didn’t kick when Elliot came over and gave them their brand. I wasn’t known for my upper-body strength, but I could give it a try. There had been other women in the corral today, and seeing them had given me confidence.

Silas grinned and kissed me again. “You bet. Let’s grab a bite to eat first.”

Not long after, I was sitting on the ground, dirty, sweaty and so damn proud of myself. Silas had helped me wrestle three calves while his dad had looked on in disbelief. It hadn’t been easy, my arms were burning and tired, but I hadn’t given up. I’d used all my might and followed his instructions without error.

Silas stood and helped me off the dirt, immediately pulling me into his chest. His mouth came down on mine and quickly swept his tongue inside. Right in the middle of the corral, he kissed me like we were alone in his bedroom.

I kissed him right back. Tongues twisted. Teeth nipped. Lips explored. Neither one of us held anything back.

“That’s my sister!” Jess called from beside us. “Do you mind, Grant?”

He broke away, and we both smiled like silly fools as the crew around us laughed.

“You did awesome, babe,” he said. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

My heart soared with the praise. “I’m proud of me too.”

If not for Elliot glaring at us, it would have been the perfect moment. Whatever. I turned back to Silas and started laughing. “I’m covered in shit. These jeans will never be the same again.”

“Eh,” he said. “It’s just green grass and water.”

“I’d better head inside and you’d better get back to roping.”

“Okay. See you in a bit.” He gave me a quick kiss before I climbed over the fence and crossed the gravel lot toward the main house.

The Grants’ sprawling house was one of the nicest I’d seen in all of the Jamison Valley. Elliot and Olivia’s log home had a wide porch that ran the length of the front. Its first floor was full of windows and the roof had two large dormers cut into the tin.

Inside, the house was full of rich maple and hickory woods. Olivia had decorated with espresso leather and deep-green upholstered furniture that gave the entire place a rustic and woodsy atmosphere. The kitchen was the only room in the house that wasn’t dark and cozy. It was full of cream cabinets, stainless appliances and yellow granite slabs. It didn’t match the rest of the house but somehow it all went together perfectly.

“Hi,” I said to Olivia and Mom, who were standing in the kitchen. “What can I do?” I was eager to learn all about preparing a meal for this many people. I wanted to know everything about being a branding hostess, like Olivia.

Because in twenty years, I wanted to be right here too, working to prepare the celebration meal for a branding that was wasn’t just Silas’s big day. It would be ours together.

The rest of the branding went by in a flash. I worked tirelessly with Olivia to prepare a prime rib and turkey feast for the evening’s big dinner. She might not have been outside in the dirt but Olivia had worked harder than anyone else on the ranch today and she’d made it seem easy.

Not once had she gotten stressed or rushed. She’d moved with grace and efficiency, knowing exactly what to do to prepare a gourmet meal for over forty people. My respect and admiration for Silas’s mom had grown tenfold in one afternoon.

“Phew,” I said when the last person came through the buffet line in the kitchen. “That was insane. You’re amazing.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” Olivia said. “Having your help was a lifesaver.”

Next year, I promised myself I’d do even more to share her load.

“Mom?” Silas called from the front door. “Can you come out here?”

“I’ll go,” I said, touching Olivia’s shoulder. “You should eat and have a big glass of wine. You’ve earned it.”

She smiled. “You know? I think I will.”

I hustled outside. Silas stood at the base of the porch steps, Courage right behind him. “What’s up?”

“Where’s Mom?”

“Inside taking a much-needed break.”

“Oh. I need to get him unsaddled and brushed out. I was hoping she could run down to the corral and grab the vaccines from Dad. They need to go in the fridge.”

I kissed his dusty cheek. “I’ll do it.”

“Lis—”

“I’ll be fine. Your dad and I can’t avoid each other forever. He’s just going to have to get used to me being around.” After dinner a month ago, we hadn’t seen him much but I meant what I’d said. We couldn’t avoid one another forever.

Silas sighed. “I just don’t want him to upset you or wreck your day.”

“Like I said, I’ll be fine. Go and get Courage taken care of and I’ll meet you in the barn. I put our dinner plates in the oven so we could eat together.”

“Thanks, babe.” He gave me another quick kiss before we split.

I squared my shoulders and marched to the corral. Please don’t let him be an ass. And if he is, please help me keep my mouth shut.

“Elliot?” I called.

He spun around from the table he was packing up. “What?”

I found my fake smile. “Silas said the vaccines need to be refrigerated. I just came down to get them from you.”

He grumbled something rude under his breath and turned to close a small, blue cooler, shoving it at me without a word. After I’d spent all day helping him and his wife, he couldn’t even mutter a “thank you”?

“You’re welcome,” I clipped and instantly wished the words back into my mouth. Why hadn’t I just ignored him and walked away?

Fucking hell, Felicity.

With a red face and clenched jaw, Elliot eyed me up and down. “That’s a good look for you, covered in shit.”

There was no keeping my anger in check now. My lip curled. “What is your problem?”

“You. You don’t belong here.”

My eyes narrowed. “You won’t scare me away.”

“Yeah?” he sneered. “We’ll see about that.”

We glared at one another for a few moments before I finally broke away and turned to leave, clutching the handle on the cooler with all my might.

“That’s an even better look,” he called. “You walking away. Make my year, Felicity. Don’t stop until you hit ocean.”

I raised a hand but didn’t speak. My middle finger did the talking.

The evening air was starting to cool but I was raging hot. I stomped back to the barn and unloaded the vaccines into the mini fridge, slamming the door shut when I’d finished.

“Uh-oh,” Silas said at my back.

“Yeah. Uh-oh.”

“Fuck,” he clipped. “What did he do?”

I blew out a loud breath and turned to face him. “He was just his usual unpleasant self. Though, in all fairness, he’s not entirely to blame. I may have let loose some snark.”

“Was that before or after he started shit with you?”

My eyes dropped to my shoes. “Um . . .”

“That’s what I thought,” he muttered when I didn’t answer.

“It will be fine.” I stepped closer to reassure him but he spun around and took a step toward the door.

“The fuck it will. This is bullshit.” He turned back to me, rage burning behind those brown eyes.

“Silas,” I said, holding up my hands to try and calm him down. He didn’t even notice. He just launched into a loud, shouting rant.

“He’s my dad. He should be bending over backward to make you feel welcome here. Instead, he’s been a total fucking dick. You’d think he’d be in a good mood today of all days, but no. He couldn’t even let me enjoy this without ruining it. You know? Fuck it. If he picks a fight with you, he picks a fight with me.”

The curry comb flew out of his hand and into the wall as he spun around and walked to the door.

Holy hell.

The lid on Silas’s temper had just popped off.

“Wait!”

Silas stormed out of the barn and I had to jog to keep up with his long strides.

I reached his side just as he cleared the door and pulled on his arm. “Silas, stop.”

“No.” He yanked his arm free and kept moving. “Not this time.”

Running around him, I stood in front of him and put my hands on his chest. “Forget I said anything, please? Don’t do this. Not today.”

Without a word, he put his hands under my armpits and picked me up, setting me out of his path.

“Silas!” I scrambled again to keep up.

Elliot had left the corrals and was just crossing the threshold into his house. Silas’s steps changed direction as he followed. If he got inside, their fight would be on full display for the branding guests, and Olivia would be humiliated.

I ran around him again, and this time when I pushed at his chest, I used as much force as I could muster and dug my fingernails into his pecs. “Stop this right now!”

“Felicity—”

He went for my armpits again but I dropped my hands and slapped his chest. “Don’t!”

He stopped pushing and glared down at me, fisting his hands on his hips. “Get out of the way, babe.”

I copied his stance. “No. I’m not going to let you get in a fight with your dad today. That house is full of people.” I pointed behind me. “Your mom has worked too hard to let you ruin it.”

He growled. “I don’t care.”

“Of course you do. You’re being completely irrational! Who cares that your dad was a jerk? It wasn’t the first time. What’s this really about?” Before he could deny I was right, I held up a hand. “And don’t tell me it’s about your dad and me snapping at each other. You’re off the rails here, Silas. Something else has been festering for weeks. I’m going to venture a guess and say it’s the same thing causing your nightmares, but since you won’t talk to me, I’m not really fucking sure. Do you feel like telling me yet?”

His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared, but he didn’t answer.

“Fine.” I threw my hands in the air. “You want to get in a fight with your dad? Do it. But I’m not sticking around to watch.”

Flying past him, I went straight for my car. I’d been leaving the keys inside so that anyone could move it if it was in the way. Right now, I was really glad that I didn’t have to go inside before I made my escape. I had about thirty seconds before angry tears were going to come pouring out.

I was pissed at Elliot and Silas, but more than that, I was hurt. He was hiding something from me. He was upset and didn’t trust me enough to confide that in me. Paxon had been able to talk to me. Why couldn’t my own boyfriend?

I heard his footsteps behind me but I didn’t turn.

“You’re going to leave?”

“Yep.” I tossed the word over my shoulder.

“So that’s your answer? I’m pissed so you run away?”

My feet slid to a halt on the gravel and I spun around. “I’m not running away.”

He glared at me and sneered, “Sure feels like it. And I’d know, wouldn’t I?”

Ouch. That was the first time he’d ever thrown the past in my face.

How could he think I’d run away? I was giving him some space. I was taking some time to compose myself before we both ended up saying things we’d regret. How could he not see that?

I guess he really hadn’t forgiven me for the mistakes I’d made, after all.

Maybe it was foolish of me to think he ever would.

Silas

I stood in the middle of the gravel lot and watched Felicity’s car peel away from the barn in a cloud of dust.

“Hey, princess.”

Paxon was on the porch behind me. “What do you want?” I clipped. I was pissed about Dad, about Felicity, about everything, and he’d picked a bad time to come find me.

“Whoa.” He held up his hands. “Just wanted to invite you inside for a poker game, but since I see you’ve got other issues,” he pointed to where Felicity’s car was nearly out of sight, “I think I’d better offer you a beer or twelve instead.”

Beer. Beer would be good.

I turned and followed him inside, keeping my mouth shut when people asked me where Felicity had gone and walking straight to the cooler to pop the lid on a bottle of Bud Light. When I’d drained it down, I dug out number two.

“Easy,” Pax said at my side. “I think you’d better come sit in on this poker game before you stand here by the cooler and get yourself in even more trouble.”

I huffed. “Probably not a bad idea.” I wouldn’t mind getting passed-out drunk but I’d save that for after Felicity came back and dumped my ass.

An hour later, I was down a hundred and fifty bucks and would have an empty wallet when I went home to an empty bed.

“Fuck,” I muttered, tossing my cards on the table. “I fold.”

“You’re in a shit mood tonight,” Jess said.

“There’s trouble in paradise,” Paxon informed the table.

“What?” Jess asked, looking up from his cards with concern.

I shot Pax a scowl. He hid behind his cards, but I saw the corner of his lip twitch. Dickhead.

“It’s nothing,” I lied.

Now that I’d had a chance to cool off, I realized just how right she was. I’d exploded over something minor because I’d been keeping too much bottled inside. Part of it was Dad. Part of it was stress. Most of it was trying to come to grips with the fact that I wanted to tell Felicity I loved her but I was afraid she wouldn’t say it back.

I was afraid she’d tell me she’d only ever love Wes.

And I’d let this stupid incident today push me over the edge and I’d hurt her.

Fuck.

“Daddy, look!” Rowen snagged my attention as she ran up to Jess’s side with a horseshoe in her hand.

“Nice.” He smiled and started fawning over her discovery. A familiar pang of jealousy hit my gut. I was happy for my friend and fatherhood agreed with him, but I wasn’t getting any younger. I was starting to worry that I’d never have the chance to build my own family.

I wanted kids, a life centered on family. And I wanted it all with Felicity. I wanted our children to grow up close to their cousins and our friends’ kids. I wanted to see them running around playing at a summer barbeque. To have sledding parties at the ranch in the winter. To have big holidays full of laughter and love.

But none of that was going to happen if I’d royally fucked us up this afternoon and driven her away.

I had completely fucking overreacted.

“Snap out of it, dipshit, it’s your deal,” Paxon said.

I chuckled. Yeah, I was a dipshit all right.

What was I even doing here? I should be at Felicity’s house, on my knees, begging for her forgiveness. Promising that I’d never throw the past in her face again.

I set down my beer and stood. “I’ve got to go.”

Ignoring their demands for my money, I jogged inside and through the house. Leaping down the porch steps, I was about to hop in my truck when I saw her car in its normal spot.

She came back?

“Thank fuck,” I muttered, running past the barn and into my loft. “Felicity, I’m sor—” My feet ground to a stop when I hit the end of the hallway. “What’s going on?”

Standing by the couch, she blushed and tucked her hands in her jeans pocket. “Will you come sit down?”

I gave her a sideways glance, then walked to the couch. It wasn’t in its normal spot but pushed too close to the TV. The coffee table was now by the kitchen and my armchair was by the stairs. She’d rearranged my entire living area to make room for my mattress, which was now on the floor instead of on its platform upstairs.

As soon as I sat down, Felicity came to me and straddled my thighs. My hands immediately went to her hips as she settled on my lap.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

My shoulders sagged in relief that she wasn’t mad. “It’s my fault, not yours. I shouldn’t have gotten so pissed.”

“Regardless, I shouldn’t have left. Sometimes we might need space, but Silas, I promise I’ll never leave you again.”

I pushed out a breath that I’d been holding in for years. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d needed to hear that promise.

She leaned back, and I pushed the hair out of her face. “Is my punishment for being an ass that I have to sleep upstairs without a mattress?”

She laughed and I closed my eyes, blocking out everything else except that musical sound. When her hands framed my face, I opened them back up. Her beautiful blue eyes sparkled in the dim light.

“I wish we could go back in time,” she said. “That we would have spent these last sixteen years together, not apart, but since that isn’t possible, I thought maybe we could recreate our first night. This time, have it end a little differently.”

She dropped her hands as I glanced around. Then it clicked. How could I have not noticed when I came in? Our first night together had been one of the best in my life.

When my eyes came back to Felicity, she was studying my face. “What are you thinking?”

Easy answer. “That I love you.”

This time she bit her lip so her chin wouldn’t quiver. It didn’t work. Those blue eyes filled and her breath hitched. Her chest heaved before she said, “I love you too.”

I was just about to kiss her when she lost hold and tears poured down her face. She fell into my chest and cried against my neck as my arms hugged her tightly.

Shit. I had pictured this going much differently.

“Don’t cry.” I stroked her hair. “I know it’s hard to hear. I know you’ve only ever loved Wes and he’ll always be the love of your life, but can you make some room for me too? Please? We could be happy. Please? Please give me a chance to make you happy.”

I was begging. I didn’t beg. Ever. But the more she cried, the more desperate I became. The pleas kept popping into my nervous mind and flowing out of my mouth without pause.

Felicity’s chest started shaking even harder and I was starting to panic, but then I realized she wasn’t crying anymore. She was laughing.

Full-out belly laughing.

She leaned back and tipped her head to the ceiling, filling the entire room while I sat dumbfounded and openmouthed. Dragging in a couple of deep breaths, she managed to pull it together, and though her laughter stopped, the beautiful, beaming smile on her face remained.

This was better. I could work with the smile. The tears had almost wrecked me.

Her hands came back to my face and she pulled me forward for a hard, short kiss. “You’re an idiot.”

What?

“Do you actually think Wes was the love of my life?”

“Well . . . yeah.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I have been in love with one man for what feels like my entire life.” Her forehead pressed against mine as her lips whispered, “You.”

I sucked in a short breath when my heart skipped.

“After our first night together, I knew I didn’t love Wes. Not really. I couldn’t love him because I loved you. Even when you were just my friend. Even when I lived in Seattle. Even when you were across the world, fighting for our country. You always had this.” She took my hand and pressed it against her heart.

My fingers warmed against the thin cotton of her shirt.

“And I was crying, because I’ve been waiting a really, really long time to hear you say you loved me too.”

My nose was burning and my throat closed. Fuck. Before my eyes could water, I took Felicity’s mouth. With one hand still pressed between us, I used the other to slide her hips closer. She ground down on my cock and I groaned into her mouth. My dick strained against my zipper to be free.

Just like our first night all those years ago, I carried her to my mattress and laid her down gently, peeling off her clothes, then mine. I stroked my cock and lined it up with her slick entrance, savoring her sweet moan when I slid inside. When her arms wrapped around my back, I pressed my chest to hers.

Heart to heart.

I made love to my Lis slowly, deliberately, using every stroke to remind her that my soul was hers. She owned me completely. When she came, crying out my name, I fought to restrain my own orgasm but her tight, wet heat clenched around me like a fist. I poured into her as white stars consumed my vision and her sweet voice whispered, “I love you, Silas.”

I didn’t know what her top five times were, but this one had just skyrocketed to my number one.

Collapsing on top of her, I let myself take three full breaths before pulling myself free and rolling to the side.

Felicity curled into my side and kissed my nipple. More of that, and I’d be ready for round two in three minutes instead of ten. “Now what?” She smiled against my skin as she asked the familiar question.

“Whatever you want.”

“I want babies,” she declared.

I chuckled at her bluntness. “Then stop taking those pills and I’ll give you babies.”

“Really?” She pushed off my chest and looked at me in surprise. “We should probably get married first.”

“We’re getting married.”

Her eyes widened. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

I smiled. “Nope.” There was no way my Lis was getting a casual proposal. She deserved the big show and I knew exactly what I was going to do.

“So you want to get married and have kids?”

“Yep.”

“But you’re not asking me to marry you.”

“Right.”

“I’m confused.”

I lifted my head and kissed her soft, pink lips. “Just go with it.”

She grinned at the familiar line from our youth. Fuck, that smile. She was stunning, so beautiful it made my heart hammer in my chest. Without a doubt, this was the happiest I’d ever been.

I kissed her gently again. “I love you.”

That smile spread even wider. “I love you too.”

Now that was a better reaction than the first time.

I came up at her in a flash, slamming our mouths together and spinning her onto her back. Then I took full advantage of the mattress being on the floor.

Felicity

Someone was knocking on the front door.

“Go away,” Silas muttered.

I blinked away sleep and pushed up onto an elbow, twisting to grab Silas’s T-shirt from the floor.

We had been asleep for maybe an hour. By the time Silas was done with me, it had been well after midnight, and I’d passed out, completely satisfied and deliriously happy. Squinting, I tried to read the clock on the microwave.

Silas got up first, yanking on a pair of jeans and zipping them up. He skipped the top button so they rode loosely on his hips. Please don’t be his mother at the door.

I stepped into my panties and tugged the hem of Silas’s shirt down over my rear. Walking quickly to catch up to Silas, I slipped a hand into his back jeans pocket and followed him down the hall.

He looked over his shoulder at me and grinned. When he opened the door, I forced my eyes away from his sculpted back to see who was here.

I gasped and slapped my free hand over my mouth.

For the second time in as many months, I was staring at a friend who looked like she’d just gone one extremely unsuccessful round with Mike Tyson.

Khloe Olson stood at Silas’s front door, bloody, bruised and battered.

“Oh my god.” I pushed around Silas and threw an arm over Khloe’s shoulders, steering her inside. I didn’t need to ask her what had happened.

This was all Derrick.

“I’m sorry for bothering you,” she whispered. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Don’t apologize. Let’s sit down.”

Silas followed us inside, then swiped his phone from the kitchen counter and mouthed, “Jess?” When I nodded, he started dialing while I sat with Khloe on the couch.

“Silas is calling the cops.” She flinched and her eyes widened, but I didn’t let her protest. “It’s time to stop this, Khloe.”

“I know.” Her frame slumped in defeat. “I’m just scared. Derrick won’t like that I involved the police.”

“We’ll think of something,” I promised.

“Jess is on his way,” Silas said. He came to the couch and smiled at Khloe, giving her some space. “Don’t worry.” He gave me a sad smile before jogging upstairs to put on a shirt.

“I really believed that he had changed,” Khloe whispered before starting to cry. I let her lean against my shoulder while I stroked her hair and let her talk.

“Things were going great.” She sniffled. “He’s been a different man lately. Loving and sweet. Just like he was after we got married. And he quit drinking.”

“Was he drunk tonight?”

“Yeah. We were supposed to go to a dinner party tonight but I’ve been sick so I stayed home. He told me he’d be fast, that he’d make his appearances and then come home to take care of me. And he promised me that he wouldn’t drink.”

Obviously, he’d broken that promise along with a whole slew of others.

“He came home late. Drunk. He wanted to have sex, but I told him no because I was sick. It sent him into a drunken rage. He told me that if he couldn’t get off one way, he’d find another. And then he hit me.”

Derrick must have focused all his blows on her face because there wasn’t an inch of it that wasn’t red, swollen or cut.

“You have to press charges this time.”

She started crying harder, but nodded. “How could I have let it come this far? I’m a stupid, pathetic woman.”

“Don’t say that, Khloe. This isn’t your fault. It’s his.” In addition to the physical abuse, I was sure that prick Derrick had convinced Khloe that she was to blame. I fought to keep my calm and not storm out of here with my stun gun. That guy deserved more than a few jolts.

“Here.” Silas was standing over us with a glass of water and three painkillers.

I left Khloe to take her medicine while I pulled on my jeans. “Damn it,” I muttered to myself. I should have gotten Jess involved sooner. I should have pressed harder with Khloe. Maybe all of this could have been prevented.

Before I could go back to the couch, Silas came to my side and pulled me in for a hug. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged. “I should have done more.”

“You’re a good friend, babe. There’s nothing else you could have done.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“I am,” he said. “She’s here because you gave her a safe place to go. Your friend trusts you. If she didn’t, she’d still be at home with that fucker and not here with you.”

“Thanks.” I melted into his side. Silas always knew what I needed to hear to chase the doubts away. We broke apart, and I went back to Khloe while he pulled the mattress upstairs.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your night,” she said.

“Don’t be.”

“I didn’t know where else to go.” Her voice broke. “He’d find me at the motel and I don’t have any other friends. No one wants to hang around with a woman who’s too dumb to leave her abusive husband.”

“It’s their loss and you’re not dumb. You’re just going through a rough patch. We’ve all had them. Anyone who would abandon you to go through it alone isn’t much of a friend at all.”

She rested her head against my shoulder. “Thank you, Felicity.”

“You’re welcome.”

Over the next hour, Silas, Jess and I listened to Khloe recount tonight’s events in detail. She also told us about numerous other times that Derrick had hurt her, and Jess promised that with her official statement and hospital records, Derrick stood no chance of avoiding jail time.

While Khloe went to the bathroom to clean her face, I stood with Silas and Jess in the kitchen. “You two look murderous.”

“Just praying that fucker tries to resist arrest,” Jess said.

“How long will Derrick be in jail?”

He shrugged. “I’ll do my best to keep him as long as I can, but he’ll probably get out on bail before too long. The judge will put him under a restraining order but that might not keep him from trying to talk to her.”

“I don’t think she should stay at home. I don’t trust Derrick.”

“I agree,” Silas said. “He’s a stupid fuck up and always has been. I don’t see him taking this well. He’ll go after her.”

“Got any ideas where to stash her?” Jess asked.

She could stay with us but the only place for her to sleep would be the couch. Olivia would be more than willing to have a guest but I didn’t think Khloe would be comfortable around Elliot. “What about my house? She could stay there.”

“No, I won’t put you out.” All of our eyes swung toward Khloe as she emerged from the bathroom. “I’ll just go to the motel.”

I shook my head. “I think that’s too dangerous. It’s the first place he’ll look for you. My house is empty and free. I rarely go over there, and when I do, it’s for five minutes to get some clothes.”

“If Derrick knows you two are tight, he’ll find her.”

“He doesn’t,” Khloe said. “He doesn’t care about my friends. We talked about his life, not mine.” Her newfound anger was giving me hope that she’d be done with Derrick for good. “Are you sure I can’t go home?” she asked Jess.

“Until we know how Derrick is going to react to all of this, you gotta lie low.”

“Please?” I begged. “At least stay there for a few days. It would give your face a chance to heal and for your cold to go away.”

“All right,” she said reluctantly.

With that decision made, we set off from the barn. Jess went off to arrest Derrick while Silas and I got Khloe settled in my house. We hid her car in the garage and I packed myself more clothes for Silas’s closet. After handing her a bottle of cold medicine, I sent her upstairs to bed and we drove back to the ranch.

“Babe?” Silas asked as we drove home.

“Yeah?” I yawned.

“I think I need to get the full roster of your friends. That and a quick synopsis of everything they have going on in their lives.”

I giggled. “I think we’re safe after this one.”

“Life with you will never be boring, will it?”

He laced his fingers with mine and drove in silence through the darkness. Maybe one day Khloe would be lucky enough to find a man like mine.

Then again, he was one in a million.

“You’re burning up.” I pressed the back of my hand to Silas’s forehead. “I’m getting you more medicine.” He had gotten Khloe’s cold but had spent the last two days working like normal, pushing his sick body too hard, and now he was exhausted with a fever.

“No medicine.” He grunted and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Dad and I are heading up into the mountain today to deliver salt blocks. He can’t go alone and I can’t be drowsy.”

“No way, baby. You’re not going anywhere but back to sleep.” I pushed his shoulders, surprised when he didn’t put up much of a fight. Oh, lordy. That meant he felt even worse than he was letting on.

“Can you just tell Dad that I’ll take the blocks up when I’m feeling better?”

“Yes, I’ll take care of it.” I made him take a heavy dose of cold medicine and left him sleeping as I went in search of his dad.

“Elliot?” I called into the barn.

“What?” he snapped, not bothering to look at me.

This guy was never going to give me a chance, was he? Not that I was surprised by his greeting. After the drama between us at the branding, I doubted Elliot and I would ever get along.

“Silas is sick today so he asked me to tell you that he’d take the blocks up to the mountain when he’s feeling better.”

“Figures,” he muttered, tossing a big brush onto one of the work benches. “Leaves me to do the work alone.”

“He’s really sick.” I was pissed that he’d act this way. Silas was not the type of man to fake an illness to get out of work, and his father, of all people, should know that.

“Ever since you showed up, all he’s been is distracted. Now he’s sick. It’s the end of May, and we’re weeks behind. I can’t afford to wait until he’s better, which means I’ll be making a two-man trip myself today.”

“Silas said you were behind because of the rain,” I argued. Elliot was placing unfair blame and I wasn’t going to let him do that to Silas.

“Whatever,” he muttered. “We’re still behind.”

I pushed out a long breath, dreading what was about to come out of my mouth. “Is it something I could help with?” I had no desire to spend my day with Elliot but it might make Silas’s life easier and give him an extra day to recuperate.

Elliot stared at me for a minute until he started laughing. “You couldn’t do it if you tried.”

Ass. Now I’d do it just to spite him. I’d prove to him that I did belong here and a day of hard work wasn’t going to scare me away. “I guess we’ll see about that. I’ll take Silas’s place.”

His laughter stopped as he sneered. “Stay home. You’re in over your head, city girl.”

My hands fisted on my hips. “Like I said, I guess we’ll see.”

Elliot’s evil grin had me questioning my rash decision but I was too stubborn to give in.

“We’re delivering those.” He pointed to a stack of pink rectangular salt blocks. “The only way to get to the mountain pastures is on horseback.”

I nodded. “Okay. I’ll saddle up Lulu.”

“Lulu’s out in the pasture. You’re on Courage.” His sneer spread and I swallowed hard. Silas and I had been spending a few mornings each week riding but I was still a little uncomfortable around his horse. Courage was just so damn big and intimidating.

But my stubborn streak won out and I walked to the saddles, preparing the one I always used on Lulu.

“Oh, and you can’t use that saddle,” Elliot said. “It’s too small. You have to use Silas’s.”

“Fine,” I clipped and went to Silas’s saddle instead.

While Elliot saddled his horse, I combed Courage and tried to bury my fears. “Courage,” I whispered. “You’re scary, bud. Please be nice to me today. Please?”

It took me five tries to get Silas’s heavy saddle on Courage’s back. The thing weighed at least twice as much as mine and Courage was a good deal taller than Lulu. Frustrated and almost in tears, I’d heaved and given the saddle one last swing with all my might and a loud grunt. Miraculously, I’d managed to get it up high enough to push it the rest of the way onto Courage’s back.

“Thanks,” I told Courage. He hadn’t budged since my earlier confession.

When the saddle was strapped on, I turned around, ready to lead Courage out. Elliot was standing in the middle of the barn with a smug grin aimed my way. That bastard had seen my whole saddle fiasco, but rather than offer me a hand, he’d just watched me struggle.

Don’t let him win. Don’t let him win. Hold that tongue.

“Ready?” I asked with a fake smile.

“Are you?”

Grrr. Was there any manure around? At this point, I’d grab it with my bare hands just for the chance to throw it in his face.

After loading up the trailer with the horses, two mules and the salt blocks, we set off toward the mountains, driving in uncomfortable silence. As Elliot scowled, I stared out my window, wondering what I had gotten myself into. I had a feeling that the saddle incident was just the beginning.

And I was right.

Seven hours later, I climbed back into the truck, utterly miserable. I was in pain, stiff and ready for a good angry cry.

Today, we’d ridden over steep hills and rocky trails deep into the forest. Courage and I had led one pack mule while Elliot and his horse had led another. We’d delivered eight salt blocks to various mountain pastures where about three hundred of the Grants’ cows and calves were spending the summer.

Silas’s saddle had been much too large for me and I’d had to grip it hard with my thighs to stay in place on the rough terrain. I couldn’t see them, but I was sure there were blisters by the seams of my jeans. My arms and shoulders felt like jelly and I had scratches all over my hands from batting away tree branches that hung low over the trails.

My only break today had come from Courage, who must have sensed my misery. Not once had he gone too fast or jumped over the logs that had fallen on the trails like Elliot’s horse had done. He’d just plodded right over them. Regardless of his care, by the end of the trip, even those gentle steps were pure agony.

When Elliot turned off the road and pulled up to the ranch, I sighed with relief. All I had to do was get Courage unsaddled, brushed and settled in his stall. Then I could go inside for a long, hot bath.

“Anything else?” I asked when I was done brushing Courage. Elliot had basically ignored my presence all day and only spoken to me if I had been doing something wrong, so I half expected him to stay quiet.

“No,” he muttered from his horse’s stall. No “thank you” or “good-bye.” Just “no.”

I turned and started walking toward the door. My steps were slow and painful but I managed not to limp or grimace. I’d do that once Elliot was out of sight.

“Felicity?” he called.

I straightened my spine before glancing over my shoulder. “Yeah?”

“He deserves someone better.”

My eyes watered and I turned away so he wouldn’t see my tears. “You’re probably right,” I said, “but I’m not letting him go.”

Elliot scoffed. “Selfish. Just like you always were. Tell me, if he’d come home from Iraq in a body bag, would you have cared?”

Ouch. One tear fell and three took its place. With my chin quivering, I kept walking out of the barn and around the side. When I knew Elliot couldn’t hear me, I covered my mouth to muffle the sob I’d been holding in. Tears poured down my face as I fought to cry in silence.

When I heard the barn door close behind me, I pulled in a few shaky breaths, drying my eyes and then limping through Silas’s door.

“Felicity?”

“Hey,” I said when he appeared in the hallway. “You’re up. Are you feeling better?”

“A little. Where have you been?”

“I went up with your dad to deliver those salt blocks.” I smiled and tried to pretend it was the best day I’d ever had.

His mouth fell open. “What?”

“I’m beat. Do you care if I take a quick bath before making dinner?” I didn’t wait for his answer before slipping into the bathroom and closing the door.

Alone again, the tears came back. My arms protested when I pulled off my army-green tee, I struggled to get my boots off of my swollen feet, and as I slid off my jeans, I couldn’t help but cry out when they peeled away from my thighs.

I bit my lip so Silas wouldn’t hear but his arms were soon wrapped around my chest.

“What’s wrong?”

I sniffled. “My legs are sore.”

“How bad is it?”

“It’s nothing. I’ll be fine,” I lied.

He sighed and let me go, dropping to his knees to help me out of my jeans. As he inspected my thighs, the crease between his eyebrows kept getting deeper. “They’re practically rubbed raw.”

Indeed, my skin was chafed bright red and bleeding slightly in a couple of places, and there was one small blister close to my knee where the seam of my jeans had been rubbing particularly hard.

“Come on.” Silas grabbed my hand and pulled me to the stock-tank bathtub.

While he got the water going, I eased out of my bra and panties. Then, holding his hand to steady myself, I sank into the hot water. Wincing as the water touched my raw skin, I took a few deep breaths until the pain eased away.

“Better,” I sighed and closed my eyes, resting my head against the cool metal edge.

“What happened?” Silas had pulled up a stool and was sitting by my side, gently stroking the side of my face with his thumb.

“Just too many hours in the saddle. It was a long ride and I kept sliding around in the saddle.”

“That saddle fits you perfectly. Why were you sliding around?”

“Well, I had to use your saddle because your dad said mine wouldn’t fit on Courage.”

His hand froze. “You rode Courage today?”

My eyes opened. Silas’s jaw was clenched tightly as he raked his hands through his hair. “Was that wrong? Your dad said that Lulu was in the pasture.”

“She is, but Dad should have gone to get her. No one rides Courage but me. He doesn’t like strangers and we’re damn lucky he didn’t throw you. Something Dad sure as fuck knows.” His head dropped down. “I should have gone today.”

“You’re sick, Silas.” Even after a day of rest, his skin was pale, and he looked exhausted.

He shook his head. “It still should have been me to go up. I don’t like that you could have gotten hurt, and Dad better brace because he went too far.”

Silas’s temper was on the rise. He started shifting on the stool and fisting and un-fisting his hands.

“Hey.” I flicked a few drops of water in his face. His eyes snapped to mine as he wiped them away. “I’m fine and today is not the day to fight about this with your dad. For now, let it go.”

His face went from angry to anguished. “You could have gotten hurt, Lis. And then what would I do?”

My heart melted at his concern. “Hey, I’m okay. If you want to get after your dad about it, I’m not going to stop you. He shouldn’t have put me in danger, but baby, you have to keep your temper under control. All of this arguing back and forth isn’t working. Maybe it’s time to try another tactic.”

He thought about my words for a minute. “Maybe.”

“Courage was actually great today. He was gentle and slow. It was like he knew I was struggling and wanted to make it easier on me.”

“Maybe he knows you’re special.”

I smiled. “Maybe.”

“Did you know I named him after you?”

I jerked in surprise. “You did? Why’d you pick Courage?” I could think of many, many more accurate words to describe myself.

“Do you remember that trip we all took out to the lake when we were kids? The cliff-jumping trip? I think it was right before my junior year.”

I closed my eyes again, relaxing to Silas’s calming, deep voice. “Yeah. That was the summer before I started high school.”

“You were the only girl.”

I opened my eyes and flicked more water. “Something you, Wes and my brother failed to mention until we got there and I saw the entire male population of Prescott High.”

He chuckled. “We knew you wouldn’t have come otherwise.”

“You were right about that. Remember how everyone was just standing around? I thought it was so funny that all these big, tough guys came out to jump in, but no one would.”

“Until Jess. He was the first one to go. Then me. Then Wes.”

My heart had been in my throat that afternoon. Seeing my brother and his two best friends catapult off that rock ledge into the dark water forty feet below had scared me half to death.

“I was so proud when you jumped,” Silas said. “When we were swimming below, we could hear the guys taunting you. Your brother and Wes kept saying that you’d never jump but I just kept my eyes on that cliff. I knew you had the courage to do it, and you did.”

To this day, I couldn’t believe I’d actually jumped. It had been one of the most thrilling and terrifying things I’d ever done.

Silas grazed my cheek with his knuckles. “I remember thinking, ‘That’s my girl.’ I was planning on asking you out that night.”

My eyes opened and blurred with tears. “You were?”

“Yeah, but Wes beat me to it. The asshole knew I was going to do it, and he did it first.”

Another what-if echoed in my head. I was getting really sick of them.

I’d had a crush on Silas back then. I’d only agreed to date Wes because Silas had seemed so far out of my league. Wes had been handsome, and I had been so young, only fourteen at the time, so of course I had said yes when Wes had asked me out. It had never occurred to me that Silas’s sweetness was because he’d seen me as more than just his friend’s little sister.

“When did you get Courage?”

“About six years ago. Right after I got home from the army.”

“And you named him after me? Even though you hadn’t seen me in a decade?”

“Just because you weren’t here, doesn’t mean you weren’t here.” He reached into the water and pulled out my hand. Dripping wet, he pressed it against his heart.

My heart swelled so full of love, the only thing I could say was, “I love you, Silas.”

“I love you too, Lis.”

I relaxed further into the bath but kept my hand on Silas’s chest. With each one of his heartbeats, my aches and pains melted away.

Three days later, I was spending a nice Friday afternoon with my mom shopping. She’d asked if I would take her downtown to see the holiday decorations. All of Main Street had been decked out in red, white and blue for the Memorial Day celebrations tomorrow.

Before picking up Mom, I’d stopped by my house to find Khloe feverishly cleaning. When I’d told her that it was unnecessary, she’d refused to listen. Her gloved hands just kept scouring away as she declared that cleaning was a necessary outlet.

Khloe had been as fired up and angry as I’d ever seen her. If Derrick did find her hiding spot, God help him. She’d ranted on and on about what she’d like to do to his man parts the next time she saw her soon-to-be ex-husband.

“How about this one?” Mom asked, pulling me from my thoughts. She was holding up a sleeveless azure tunic.

“Definitely. It would be great for your eyes.”

“Oh, not for me. I meant for you. I don’t leave the house enough for something this nice.”

“You know, if you moved in with me, you’d be a lot closer to downtown. You could walk down here whenever you wanted and then you’d have the chance to wear that pretty shirt.”

“No, no,” she said. “We’ve talked about this. I’m not going to move.”

I refolded a pair of jeans and stacked them back on their table. “Why, Mom? I don’t understand why you’re so set on staying in that old trailer.”

“I just am. Please stop asking me to move. You’re becoming as bad as Jess.”

“Then explain it to me. If you want me to stop asking, you have to help me understand your attachment to a place that’s falling apart around you.”

She handed me the blue blouse. “You should buy this.”

“Mom, please?”

She sighed and leaned a hip against the jeans table. “I didn’t have much when your dad and I got married, but we were happy. A couple of young kids in love. Hank worked nights, and I wanted a job with hours that matched his so we could spend our days together. It wasn’t a fancy job, just stocking shelves at night at a grocery store, but I did my best. We were living in this tiny apartment but managing to get by.”

I stood quietly and listened. Mom was rarely forthcoming about her time with my dad and I didn’t want to stop her before she could finish.

“My parents both died when you were a baby and they left me a small sum. I used it along with what I’d managed to save from my own paychecks to buy our trailer when we moved here. That old house is the one thing I’ve been able to give you and Jess.” Tears filled her eyes as she looked to the floor. “I haven’t been a good mother, but at least you had a place to call home.”

Tears of my own welled. How could she think so little of herself as a mother? She had her struggles, and I wouldn’t say that after my dad had left, things had been easy. But she’d given us a lot more than she was taking credit for.

“Mom.” I touched her shoulder. “You were a good mother. You taught us how to love and trust. How to appreciate what we had. And how to stand on our own two feet.”

She shook her head and spoke to the floor. “No, I wasn’t.”

“Will you look at me?” She wiped her eyes before tipping them up. “I love you, Mom. There’s no one else in the world that I’d want for a mother.”

Her sad smile and pat on the arm were her ways of ending our discussion. She didn’t believe me but that was okay. I’d remind her every day that she was special until she did.

“I’ll drop the serious talk. We’ll go back to the fun day.”

“Thank you.”

Before she could turn away from me, I pulled her in for a tight hug. “And I’m buying you this shirt.”

She laughed and agreed. We shopped for a little while longer, and along with her top, I bought myself a few pairs of jeans. Ranch work, I had learned, was not easy on denim. After checking out and waving good-bye to the store owner, I met Mom at the window of the boutique.

“Ready to go? Maybe we could get a coffee. I could use some caffeine.”

She didn’t answer, just kept staring out the window at Main Street.

“Mom?” I called again but she didn’t move.

Goddamn it. I had hoped that the medicine she was on would prevent these moments and it seemed to have been helping. Just not today.

“Mom?” I gently shook her shoulder.

Okay, weird.

This felt different. She was blinking and seemed to hear me. This didn’t feel like her spacey episodes. This felt like she was ignoring me.

Why, I had no clue, but I didn’t ask. Maybe she was annoyed that I’d forced her to tell that story about Dad.

Since we weren’t in a rush, I stood at her side and glanced outside, people watching safely behind the storefront glass. The street was full of people enjoying the beautiful May weather. I was actually surprised at how busy Main Street was, given that it was a Sunday and only half the businesses were open. Tourist season seemed to be starting off early and with force.

“Mom?” I asked again. “Are you ready?”

She smiled and turned my way. “Yes. Let’s go.”

“Would you like a coffee?”

Glancing over my shoulder at the clock, she shook her head. “No, thanks.”

“Oh, okay. Do you have somewhere to be?”

“Oh, no. I, um, just feel like going the other way this afternoon. How about we walk down to the hardware store?”

I shrugged. “Sure. I could use another pair of leather gloves.” The ones Silas had given me for Christmas were nearly worn out and I wanted some without lining for the hot summer days.

As we meandered slowly down the sidewalk, I heard a woman whisper, “There she is.”

Who, me?

I looked over my shoulder toward the voice. An older woman ducked her head and avoided my eyes. I had no idea who she was. Weird. I kept walking but slowed when every person we passed kept staring at me.

It wasn’t unusual to make eye contact and say “hello” as you passed people on the sidewalk in Prescott, but this was beyond strange. It wasn’t just the passersby that looked. Everyone seemed to have eyes on me. Across the street, a man whispered something to his companion and then both men actually pointed. Inside one of the stores, two women had their heads poked out of the door’s window to stare.

What the hell?

Why were people talking about me? I looked down at my clothes and made sure I didn’t have a rip or stain on my shirt. There wasn’t anything on my butt or stuck to my shoe. No boogers were hanging from my nose.

That meant something was stirring up the gossip mill. Fucking fantastic. Just what I didn’t need. More gossip. What had I done now? Who had I pissed off?

My first guess was Elliot. He was part of Prescott’s Coffee Club, a group of old men that met every morning for coffee and gossip. Maybe since he was having trouble running me off the ranch, he’d decided to try and run me out of town instead.

“Here she comes.” Another whisper.

“Mom?” Maybe she’d heard the rumors and could give me a clue. When she didn’t stop, I called again and stepped closer to her side. “Mom, have you heard any rumors about me lately? People are looking at me funny.”

“Uh, no.” She avoided eye contact and walked even faster.

Not a good sign.

I followed behind her and felt my resting bitch face snap into place. If these people wanted to judge me based on a rumor, then at least I’d have some armor in place.

“Hold on one second,” Mom said when we reached a crosswalk.

“There’s no one coming.” I started to cross but she grabbed my arm and tugged me back onto the sidewalk. “Okay. What’s going on? You’re acting strange.”

I stood shocked when her arms wrapped around me for a hug.

“What—”

“He’s a good man and I’m so happy for you.”

“Huh?” Was this an early sign of dementia?

She pointed to the top of a building across the street. “Turn around and look up.”

I humored her. “Why am I staring at the top of the newspaper building?”

The sound of a plane’s engine buzzed in the distance. As it approached, its roaring engine echoed louder and louder off the buildings. At first, all I could see was its faint white outline, but as it neared, I recognized it as one of the smaller planes that farmers in the area used for crop dusting. It was flying low and slow, coming straight toward us, close enough I could see its propeller whirl and its red-tipped wings.

A block away from Main Street, it banked away, trailing a huge white banner hooked to its tail. In big, block, red letters were the words Marry me, Felicity.

I gasped and stared wide-eyed as the plane cruised by. People on the street started laughing and cheering, “Say yes!”

“Oh my god.” My hand flew to my mouth as I started laughing and crying at the same time.

He remembered.

The winter of my senior year in high school, Silas had taken me to Bozeman to tour the university. He had needed to go for specialty ranch supplies and volunteered to take me along so I wouldn’t have to brave the winter roads. We had just pulled into town and were navigating through traffic when he’d leaned over to point out my side window. Above us had been a small plane streaming along a marriage proposal.

“That’s the kind of proposal I want,” I’d told him. “Any man that asks you to marry him via sky banner has to love you more than life.”

He’d remembered.

With a full, full heart, I stood on the sidewalk, amazed. When the plane disappeared over Main Street, my eyes started scanning faces, searching the crowd for Silas.

Mom’s hand touched my shoulder. “He’s over there.”

I turned and followed her pointing finger. Silas was standing in the middle of the sidewalk in the direction from which we had just come. He must have been following us down the sidewalk.

His arms were crossed over his broad chest, showcasing his summer-tanned arms. His feet were planted wide, making his strong thighs bulge under his faded jeans. His mouth was set in a smug grin.

Breathtaking. My man—no, my future husband was breathtaking.

My feet turned automatically. When his arms opened wide, I started jogging, running right toward my dream. I launched myself at him from two feet away and he swept me up and held me tight as I buried my face in his neck, whispering, “Yes.”

His rich chuckle vibrated into my hair.

“I can’t believe you remembered.”

“I remember everything.”

I giggled. “I’ll make note of that.”

“Good idea,” he said. “Now kiss me and you’ll get your ring.”

I leaned back and immediately latched my lips onto his. With his fingers threaded in my hair, he slanted my head so our tongues could twist.

We let that kiss say it all. Promises of love. Oaths to honor. Vows to cherish. When we broke apart, all that was left to do was celebrate with the crowd clapping and whistling around us. I hadn’t even heard them until now.

“Congratulations!” chorused around as Silas and I were mobbed by family and friends. Jess and Gigi emerged from the crowd with the kids in tow. We all exchanged hugs and I promised Rowen that she could be my flower girl.

Maisy, Coby and Beau found us next. Then Emmeline, Nick and baby Draven Slater came over followed by Paxon. Khloe had even managed to sneak downtown, disguised in a hat and huge sunglasses.

The Drummonds, too, came over to offer their congratulations with Mason in tow. When Annie walked away, she looked back with a smile but had sad tears in her eyes.

The bittersweet moment passed when Olivia came right into my space and pulled me in for a tight embrace. “Welcome to the family, sweetie.”

“Thank you.” I hugged her back.

This was my family. Felicity’s Journey Home had been more successful than I could have ever imagined.

Only two things dampened this moment. Sabrina’s absence. And Elliot’s. I scanned the faces around us but saw no sign of Silas’s dad. His loss. Today was a day that people in this town would be talking about for decades.

“Drinks!” Silas called and the masses erupted in applause while shuffling toward the Silver Dollar Saloon. As people moved, Silas grabbed my hand and held me back.

“We’re not going?”

“Nah.” He smirked. “I just needed to get them to leave us alone so we could go home.” His lips brushed against mine. “We’re having a private celebration.”

“Don’t you think it’s rude for us to just ditch them?” I whispered.

“Yeah, it is. I just don’t give a fuck. They’ll figure it out.”

I smiled. “Yeah. They will.” I pulled on his hand and led my handsome fiancé home, where we celebrated all night long.

Then again in the morning.

“I wasn’t sure that you’d be up for showings today.” Paxon leaned against my car with a cocky stance.

“Why is that?”

“Thought Silas would have worn you out.” He grinned and shook his head. “I see that I’m going to need to give your man some stamina tips before your honeymoon.”

“That won’t be necessary.” I patted his arm. “I have no complaints about Silas’s stamina.” None whatsoever.

“Did you two decide on a wedding date?”

I nodded. “The end of August.” Just three months away.

“Damn. You aren’t messing around.”

No, we were not.

We’d spent the morning making love, relaxing and eating a big brunch while we discussed wedding plans. To my surprise, Silas had more ideas for the wedding than I’d thought he would. He wanted to get married in the quaint one-room country church about thirty miles from town and hoped that we could host a reception afterward here at the ranch.

Four months gave me just enough time to secure the church, rent the biggest white tent I could find and organize the excess of other wedding details. It would be a lot of work, but neither one of us wanted to delay. Gigi, Maisy and Emmeline had already been drafted to help and I was praying Sabrina’s troubles would be over by then so she could be my maid of honor.

My to-do list was up to three pages by the time Silas left to do some work and I came outside to meet Paxon for some afternoon showings.

“Where are you taking me today?” he asked.

It had taken me a while to find some properties that fit his budget, but thankfully, he hadn’t been in a rush. Now, three places had happened to come up all at once so he had a selection to pick from.

“I’ve got three places to show you. Two are nice little duplexes on the north side of town a couple blocks from Main Street. The third is my favorite and I’m hoping you pick it.”

“Oh, yeah? How come?”

I winked. “It’s a surprise. You’ll just have to wait and see. But you realize that once you buy a house, you’ll have to move out of the motel, right?”

“I suppose it’s probably time.” He pouted and kicked at the dirt. “Maisy could use an actual tenant. She won’t let me pay her full price.”

Life had been pretty easy for Paxon these last few months so it wasn’t a surprise he’d kept delaying our house hunt. Somehow, he’d managed to convince Maisy to do his laundry and he joined her and Coby for dinner most nights.

“I’m sure Maisy’s just happy to have you there. Half price is better than nothing.”

“True,” he said. “She doesn’t know it yet, but I’ve been sneaking money into Coby’s piggy bank.”

“She’ll appreciate that one day. Ready to go?” I asked as I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

“Jeez.” He winced and shielded his eyes. “Put that thing away before you blind me.”

I wiggled my fingers and smiled, inspecting the beauty on my left hand. After Silas’s proposal yesterday, he had given me my gorgeous ring as we’d driven to the ranch. It was a flawless, two-carat, oval diamond solitaire set on top a simple, yellow-gold band.

I had attacked him with kisses and he’d been forced to pull over to avoid a crash.

“Come on, Mrs. Grant. Stare at your rock on your own time,” Paxon teased, forcing my eyes from my hand.

I smiled at my future name. Silas had been calling me that since we’d gotten home yesterday, and though Paxon saying it was nice, it wasn’t nearly as good as hearing it from my handsome fiancé.

“Paxon!” Elliot hustled down the steps of the big house. He jogged across the gravel lot and came to Pax’s side. “Glad I caught you. Before you head out, would you mind signing your insurance paperwork for me? I finally got it from the insurance company and wanted to get it back to them this afternoon.”

“Sure, boss.”

“Great.” Elliot clamped a hand on Paxon’s shoulder. “It’s on my desk. Red sticker by the places you need to sign.”

Pax nodded. “Be right back, Felicity.”

Elliot watched Paxon disappear into the house before turning to me. The friendly attitude he’d had with Pax vanished the second his eyes landed on my ring finger. “I’m not okay with this.”

“Shocking,” I deadpanned. “And here I was, thinking you were going to congratulate me and welcome me into your family.”

“This isn’t going to happen.”

“It is. In August.” I stressed the month. Nothing he could say would keep me from marrying his son.

“If you marry Silas, he won’t inherit this ranch.”

Except maybe that.

“What?” I swayed on my feet and steadied myself on the car with a hand.

“He’ll be out of my will. I’ll break it all apart and sell it to the neighbors.”

“You hate me that much? You’d take away his future? He loves this ranch. It’s part of his soul. Don’t do this. He’s your son.”

His resolve faltered and the confidence in his eyes waned. “I love my son.”

“Then please, Elliot. Please don’t—”

“I’m back.” Paxon jogged back to us and interrupted my plea.

Without making eye contact with me or Paxon, Elliot stalked away. I watched him go, hoping that something in my short plea had registered.

Paxon gently touched my arm. “Felicity? What happened?”

“Nothing.” My voice was cold and distant. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and slid sunglasses over my eyes so he wouldn’t see them flood. “I just have some decisions to make.”

Like if I was willing to sacrifice my heart so Silas wouldn’t have to give up his dreams. Or if I really was the selfish woman that Elliot proclaimed me to be.

Silas

Shifting my hands on the tractor’s steering wheel, I dug in my pocket for my vibrating phone.

Paxon: Your dad just said something to Felicity. She’s upset.

Me: Shit. Did you hear what he said?

Paxon: No, but it had to be bad. She’s all kinds of fucked up. It’s like an ice wall just went up in front of her face.

Me: Fuck. I’ll handle it.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Dad hadn’t even bothered to show up downtown yesterday when I’d told him that I was proposing to Felicity. Stupid me, thinking maybe my dad could actually support me for once.

Enough was enough. Today, I was ending this feud between us.

I was done taking his shit about the ranch. And I was done letting him harass my future wife.

I swung the tractor’s large wheels around and headed back toward the ranch. By the time I’d parked it back in the shop and started my search for Dad, my muscles were pulsing with fury.

But today I was taking a different approach with Dad. I was taking Felicity’s advice. There would be no shouting or yelling. It was going to be fucking hard, but I wasn’t going to let my temper lead the way.

Stepping inside my parents’ house, I called for Dad.

“Oh, hi, honey,” Mom responded. “I thought I saw you leave in the tractor. Is everything okay? You didn’t have another breakdown, did you?”

I shook my head. “No. It’s fine.” I took a deep breath and willed myself to stay calm. “Where’s Dad?”

“Right here.” He walked out of his office and stood at Mom’s side. “What’s up?”

“What did you say to Felicity?” I shoved my hands into my jeans pockets so he wouldn’t see my fists.

Dad’s face paled, knowing exactly what I was talking about. “She told you?”

“No, she didn’t, but Paxon did. I’d like you to tell me what you said.” The muscles in my back were taut with rage but I kept my voice steady.

“She’s no good for you,” he said. “She’ll run away again as soon as she realizes ranching isn’t her cup of tea.”

“That’s for me to decide. What did you say to her?”

“I’m just looking out for you.”

“What did you say?” My whisper made his eyes grow wider.

He dropped his head and spoke to the floor. “She doesn’t belong here.” Was he trying to convince me or himself? “She’s not cut out for this life. She’s a spoiled, rotten brat, just like she always—”

“Dad, stop.” My gentle tone surprised me as much as it did him. “Tell me. Please.”

His face was white now. “I told her you wouldn’t inherit the ranch if she married you.”

I rocked back on my heels, shocked to my very core.

“Elliot,” Mom gasped and clutched her chest. “No.”

He turned to her, pleading for support. “When she leaves him again, he’ll go right back into the army. Or leave town. Is that what you want? To go through all of that again? I’m just looking out for my son.”

Mom wasn’t buying anything he was saying and started yelling while I stood silent.

How could he do this to me? He’d really take away my home, my job, just because I was marrying a woman he didn’t like? This was not my father, the hero from my childhood, the man who had taught me so much.

“You will apologize and fix this!” Mom yelled.

“Olivia—”

“Do not talk to me!” she shrieked. “If you don’t make this right, you’ll find yourself out of this house. You haven’t even given Felicity a chance. He is my son and she will be his wife. No husband of mine will treat my children like this. I’m ashamed of you! I can’t believe—”

“Mom,” I said, interrupting her rant. “Don’t.” I didn’t want her to say something she’d come to regret.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Silas.”

I nodded and turned to Dad. “I’m leaving.” Mom’s gasp filled the room, but I didn’t stop. “All I’ve ever wanted was to run this place with you, to take what you’ve taught me and build on that, to continue your legacy. But you won’t let me. You won’t let me share this with you and you won’t let me share this with the one person who makes me happy.”

“Silas, I-I just—I’m sor—”

I shook my head. “No excuses, Dad. You’ve made your stance clear and now I’m doing the same with mine. She will always come first. If that means I have to give up all my dreams to make hers come true, then that’s what I’ll do. The ranch is yours. I’ll be gone this week.”

“No, Silas. Don’t leave,” Mom begged. “We’ll figure this out.”

“I’m sorry, Mom, but I don’t think we will.”

The drive into town from the ranch was tense. Paxon tried to cheer me up but Elliot’s ultimatum kept replaying in my mind.

Leaving would be a snap. All I’d have to do was drop off Pax, pack a bag and hit the highway. Silas would have the ranch and he’d be free to choose someone who met with his father’s approval. I considered it for a millisecond and laughed at myself.

I wouldn’t make it ten miles.

I wasn’t running away again. Not from Prescott and certainly not from Silas. No matter how difficult things got, I was sticking it out this time. Elliot had tried to push me into a corner but the only person he’d trapped was Silas. I didn’t have to make a decision because it wasn’t mine to make.

This was Silas’s choice.

It was his home, his job and his dreams at stake. I’d tell him what Elliot had said and then leave it up to him. I loved him too much to take away his future and make a decision for him. If Silas wanted to cancel the wedding so he could keep the ranch, then I’d honor that choice. Would it hurt? Definitely. But we didn’t need to get married to be happy or to love one another.

If Elliot’s protest was our marriage, then I’d just stay his permanent girlfriend. We’d be like those couples who were completely committed to one another but had chosen not to become husband and wife. We’d be married in spirit.

I could do that.

Yeah, right.

Well, I could try.

By the time Paxon and I arrived at the first showing on my list, I’d managed to shove my personal problems aside and concentrate on doing my job. I focused on finding Paxon a home, rattling off detail after detail as I walked him through the small, two-bedroom, one-bathroom home.

“What do you think?” I asked as I locked up the door.

“It’s nice, but I was hoping for something with more space. Maybe a little more privacy. I don’t know if I want to share a wall with my neighbors.”

“Okay. Then let’s skip the next one since it’s a duplex too and go to the third.” It was the one I’d told him was my favorite.

The house was on the edge of town close to the cemetery. It was in a quiet and peaceful neighborhood with a big yard to separate Paxon from his neighbors. The home itself needed some work, but Pax might like little projects here and there to keep him busy when he wasn’t on the ranch. He seemed happier when he wasn’t idle.

“How are you doing?” I asked as we drove. “We haven’t had the chance to visit much lately.”

“Ha! Me? You’re asking how I’m doing? I think you’re the one with problems today.”

“There’s nothing I can do about my problems until I talk to Silas, so let’s talk about you instead. How have you been feeling?”

He shrugged. “Okay. It’s helped, working at the ranch. I’m usually so tired when I finally make it to bed that I don’t have nightmares as much. The flashbacks are coming less and less during the day too.”

I turned and smiled at him in the passenger seat. “I’m glad.”

He smiled back. “Me too.”

“Here we are.” I pulled up next to a small, two-story beige house. The siding was an old shingle style that could use a fresh coat of paint, the trim around the windows was peeling and needed to be redone, and yellow dandelions were starting to dominate the spring-green yard.

“Don’t judge from the outside,” I said before Paxon could get out. “This place has a lot of potential. It’s not as nice as the duplex we just visited but I think it could be really great with a little work.”

He took a long breath. “Okay. Show me what you’ve got.”

An hour later, Paxon walked out the door as excited as I’d ever seen him.

“I think I could knock out that wall between those two bedrooms upstairs and make it more of a master suite. Maybe plumb in a bathroom.”

“That would certainly increase its resale value.” I opened the back door. “Come on, let’s go check out the yard.”

The lawn around the house was wide open and backed up to the cemetery. Large trees separated the two, but we stood close enough to see American flags sticking out of the ground and a group of people congregating for the Memorial Day ceremony.

“If I put up a fence, I could get a dog,” Paxon said. “I’ve been wanting to get a collie like Dolly.”

“She’s the best dog I’ve—”

Gunshots silenced me. I winced and covered my ears as a twenty-one-gun salute in the cemetery blasted through the air.

I turned to Paxon, ready to explain that he may have to deal with this kind of noise on occasion, but instead found myself flying through the air. In a swift dive, he had tackled me to the ground.

My back landed with a hard jolt and all of the wind rushed out of my lungs. My mouth gulped for air, but with Paxon’s big body on top of mine, I couldn’t get my breath back. Swatting at his sides, my legs writhing beneath his, I tried to get loose but he stayed frozen. His hands were wrapped around the back of his head, and his elbows trapped my head against his chest.

Adrenaline fueled my panic and I bucked my hips as hard as I could, hoping to rock him off my chest. Just an inch or two and I’d be able to breathe again, but the harder I struggled, the more pressure he put on my sternum.

The gunshots continued to echo loudly and my vision started to blur.

This was bad.

By my fourth attempt to buck him off, my energy was drained. I’d never passed out before but I knew it was coming next. My limbs were weak and my head fuzzy. My eyes drifted shut without my permission as my body forced me to sleep.

“Felicity?” Paxon’s frantic voice filled my ears. “Felicity! Wake up!”

The weight on my chest was gone and a loud rasping noise came from my throat as air rushed back in. My lungs burned in protest as I rolled to my side and started coughing. Slowly, I propped myself up on all fours despite the protest in my ribs. Hanging my head, I shifted back into child’s pose. The fresh smell of the lawn filled my nostrils as I forced rough but steady breaths.

Paxon’s hand ran gently down my back. “Fuck. I’m so sorry, Felicity. The gunshots . . . I just got spooked.”

After a few minutes, I got my oxygen back and pushed myself up to rest on my knees. “It’s okay.” I was still panting. “I’m okay.”

“Fuck. No, it’s not. I’m so sorry.” He ran his hands through his black hair. “Silas is going to beat my ass for this.”

“Let’s not worry about that right now.” I pushed up from the ground. The back of my white, silk blouse was covered in grass stains and the knees of my new jeans were streaked with dirt. “I think we should call it a day, get back to someplace a little quieter. We can come back here a different day when there isn’t as much activity in the cemetery.”

Paxon’s eyes were full of regret. “I’m so sorry.”

A tear hung from one of his dark lashes and my heart broke. He wouldn’t hurt me intentionally. He’d actually been trying to protect me, except there just wasn’t anything to protect me from.

“Paxon, don’t beat yourself up about this. Okay? I’m fine.”

His hand came up and rubbed the scar on his face, something he seemed to do whenever he was stressed or anxious.

“Okay?” I repeated. He didn’t answer. “Paxon. Look at me.”

His sad eyes found mine.

“I’m okay.”

His shoulders fell and he nodded.

“Come on. Let’s go.” I hustled to lock up the house while he walked to the car. When I joined him inside, I tried to lighten the somber mood. “I’m going to have to increase my rate from five percent to ten to cover the emotional damage of that showing.”

His frame slumped even further into the seat.

“I’m kidding,” I said. “Bad joke. I’ll only bump it to seven.”

A relieved smile spread on his face. Today wasn’t the right time, but soon, I was going to suggest he start seeing someone. It was time for Paxon to get some professional help before something else triggered a flashback and it ended much worse.

“Would you care if we swung by my house so I could grab a clean shirt?”

“No, go ahead.”

We drove the two minutes to my house and parked in the driveway. The neighbors must have been hosting a party because there was a strange truck parked in front.

“Paxon.” I touched his arm before he could open the door. “I really am okay.”

He nodded. “Thanks, Felicity. I really am sorry.”

“No more apologies. Let’s go inside and I’ll introduce you to Khloe.” We got out and walked toward the house. I hoped that Khloe had been baking today so Paxon could have one of her treats. She was keeping me and Silas in desserts, sending me to the store daily for ingredients. My house was the cleanest it had probably ever been and smelled like a bakery.

I was just glad that she was still livid with Derrick and was planning on taking him to the cleaners in the divorce.

“Khloe makes these amazing éclairs. They’ll cheer you right up,” I told Paxon, opening the door to my house.

The smile on my face fell when I saw Khloe pressed up against the kitchen wall. Her legs were dangling a foot off the floor and her fingers were clawing at Derrick’s hands wrapped around her throat.

“Khloe!” I screamed and ran toward her but didn’t get more than five feet inside when a big arm banded around my waist and hauled me backward. “Pax!” I shouted. “Get to Khloe!” I thrashed and kicked at my attacker as Paxon roared behind me. Why wasn’t he going after Derrick?

Twisting my neck, I saw him fighting off a third man. Furniture crashed in the background as they wrestled and both men grunted while fists connected with bone and muscle.

“Let me go!” My captor’s grip tightened as I yelled. His sweaty cheek pressed against mine and his hot beer breath stuck on my neck. He used one of his arms to try and cover my mouth but I thrashed my head and kept kicking.

In front of me, Derrick was choking Khloe cherry red. Her eyes drooped closed and she faded away, lights out.

“Derrick!” I screamed. “Stop!” Why wasn’t he letting her go?

His bloodshot, evil eyes came to me. “Stupid bitch had me thrown in jail!”

His grip on her neck tightened and Khloe’s lips turned blue. Her head was hanging forward as she dangled in the air. He was going to kill her. If we didn’t get to her soon, it could be too late.

“Let her go!” I cried, struggling wildly again.

“Shut her up!” Derrick bellowed.

My attacker grunted, “Shut up,” as his hand found my mouth. Before he could clamp it down, I sank my teeth onto the meaty flesh and bit as hard as I could. The metallic taste of blood hit my tongue at the same time I wound up and thrust my elbow backward into his gut.

“Ahh!” He grunted and jerked back, doubling in half as I wiggled free. I threw myself on the floor, darting toward my fallen purse to frantically dump it out.

Hurry! Where was it?

“Get back here!” the man yelled. He bent to grab me at the waist but I scooted across the floor, stretching for the little black box in front of me.

My fingers touched the plastic and I gripped my weapon tightly. Flicking on the switch, I rolled onto my back. This time when the man came at me, I jabbed my stun gun right in his chest. His body shook with the electric current before he collapsed at my feet.

Kicking away from him, I hurried to my feet. Paxon and the other man were still fighting. I spun around, ready to rescue Khloe, but Derrick had been expecting me.

He had dropped Khloe, unconscious, to the floor so he could come after me instead.

Silas

“Jess,” I answered the phone. “Can I call you right back?” I was loading up the last bundle of flattened cardboard boxes into my truck.

“Better come up to the hospital.” My spine snapped straight. “Lissy’s here.”

“Two minutes.” I slammed the truck’s tailgate and jogged to the driver’s side door. “What’s going on?” In the background, someone called Jess’s name.

“I gotta go. Just get here.”

Fuck. Fuck. Something bad had happened. I dug out my phone to call Felicity while I drove. One ring. Two. My heart pounded. Three rings.

Come on, Lis. Please answer.

When I got her voicemail, my foot pressed harder on the gas. I was thirty seconds from the hospital when my phone rang and I blew out a relieved breath at the sight of Felicity’s name.

“What’s wrong?” I answered.

“Did Jess call you?” Felicity’s panicked voice didn’t calm my racing heart. “Are you coming to the hospital?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there. What’s wrong?”

She started crying. “I’m having a really bad afternoon.”

Crying was good. Crying meant she was alive and not hurt. More often than not, crying meant she was mad. “I’ll make it better,” I promised. “I’m almost there.”

My stomach was in a fierce knot when I hit the parking lot, and seeing Paxon sitting on the curb outside the hospital’s emergency-room doors just wrenched it tighter. His head rested in his hands as his elbows dug into his thighs. Blood covered his fists and forearms.

“I’m here, babe,” I said into the phone as I hopped out of the truck. “Where are you?”

“In the waiting room.”

“Okay. I’m hanging up. Be right there.”

I tucked my phone in my pocket and jogged past the ambulance toward Paxon. When he heard my footsteps, he looked up, his face full of agony and torment. What the fuck had happened at that house showing?

“Pax, what’s going on?”

He shook his head and looked back to his feet. “I fucked up.”

I wanted to press further but he was shutting down and I had to get to Lis inside. “All right. Stay put and I’ll be back in a few.”

I rushed to the doors, and the second the glass doors slid open, Felicity was in my arms. My hands traveled down her arms and up her back, searching for an injury. I pushed her away so I could inspect her face and when I saw it was unharmed, just scared, I pulled her close again. “You’re okay?”

She nodded and buried her face deeper, clinging to the sides of my shirt with all her might.

“Talk to me.”

“Derrick almost killed Khloe today.”

My whole body jerked. “What?”

She took a step back and opened her mouth to explain, but I held up a finger. “Come on.” I grabbed her hand and led her to the waiting room to sit. Three sheriff’s deputies stood outside one of the ER rooms while Jess and Milo talked to the doctor. We sat down on one of the wider seats and I tucked her into my side.

“Okay. What happened?”

She took a deep breath and started explaining, starting with Paxon’s flashback and tackling her at the cemetery, then recanting everything that happened when they’d arrived at her house.

“Derrick was a split second away from punching me. A split second. I can still see his fist coming at me.” She shuttered and burrowed closer. “But then Paxon was there. He was all over Derrick in a rage. I’ve never seen anything like it before, Silas. Two hits and Derrick was unconscious, but no matter what I said, Pax wouldn’t stop punching him. I kept hitting Pax’s back, grabbing at his arms, but he just kept pummeling Derrick’s face.”

My arm banded around her tighter when her eyes filled with more tears.

“There was so much blood,” she whispered. “It was so violent. I didn’t know what else to do so I stun-gunned Paxon. Then I called 9-1-1 and I just had to stand there, staring at all of these unconscious people.”

“You did just the right thing, Lis.”

She shook her head. “It doesn’t feel like it. I should have thought of it sooner. What if Derrick doesn’t make it? What’s going to happen to Paxon if he dies? I should have done it sooner.”

“Hey,” I stopped her, “you did the right thing.”

Her blue eyes locked with mine. She was close to unraveling.

“Khloe still hasn’t woken up yet,” she said. “The other guys that attacked us are in jail. One of them threatened to sue me.”

“It’ll all be okay. We’ll get through it,” I promised. We would get through this.

Sliding one arm under her legs, I threw them over my thighs. Then I reached around her back and pulled her completely onto my lap.

“Can we stay until Khloe wakes up?” she asked.

“Of course.”

Stroking her hair, I held her close and took a few deep breaths, letting the panic from earlier subside. The hospital buzzed with activity behind us, but we just sat and held one another.

“Did you already give your statement?” I asked.

“Yeah. I was talking to Milo when you called. What were you doing in town?”

“Picking up boxes.”

I had come into town after my confrontation with Dad and gone straight to the hardware store for boxes. I’d originally planned to stay at her place tonight, but now that her place was a crime scene, I wasn’t sure where we’d go. Maybe the motel. Maybe the farmhouse with Jess and Gigi. If she wanted to camp out in the back of my truck, that would be fine. I’d take her wherever she wanted to go as long as we were together.

“Why do you need boxes?”

I turned my nose into her hair to breathe her in. “So I can pack up my place and move.”

Her arms around my waist squeezed tight. “How did you know?”

“Paxon texted me. He told me Dad said something to you that made you upset, so I confronted him about it.”

She leaned back to look at my face and tensed. “Whatever you decide is fine with me. If we need to cancel the wedding, then—”

“Do not finish that sentence.”

She relaxed but her eyes were still worried. “I don’t want you to lose the ranch.”

“Me neither.” I stroked her cheek with my thumb. “But you’re more important. Dad isn’t going to dictate our lives. Besides, it’s just a place. It doesn’t mean anything if I can’t share it with you.”

“Silas, you love that place.”

“Felicity, I love you more.”

She settled her head back on my shoulder. “I hate that it’s come to this.”

“Me too.” Me too.

I had no idea where we would live or what I would do, but the days of living on the Lucky Heart were over. The idea of working on someone else’s ranch left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I’d swallow it down. Soon I’d have a wife to support and, hopefully, kids not long after. It didn’t matter where I worked or where I lived as long as I got to come home to them.

“Felicity.” Jess’s voice made us both turn. “Khloe’s awake and asking for you.”

She leapt off my lap and rushed through the waiting room.

Jess and I followed but stopped in the lobby. “How bad is it?” I asked him.

“Physically? She’ll be fine, but I just took her statement, and mentally, she’s a fucking mess. That bastard husband of hers tried to kill her. His blood alcohol is through the roof. Same with his two friends.”

“How’d he even find her?”

Jess shook his head. “Derrick’s friends—the ones involved with the attack—are both in a cell. One confessed to Milo that he’d spotted Khloe downtown when you proposed to Lissy. The friend followed Khloe, then told Derrick where she’s been hiding. Guess all Derrick’s been doing these days is drinking. They all got loaded today and Derrick convinced them to help go after her.”

“How is Derrick?” I tensed and waited, hoping he wouldn’t say “dead.” Paxon had enough shit swirling. A manslaughter charge would push him over the edge.

“Gonna be in the hospital for a while, but he’ll pull through. Then his ass is in prison.”

My shoulders fell. “Have you talked to Pax yet?”

“Not yet,” Jess said. “Thought you might want to talk with him first before I take his statement.”

“Are you bringing him in?”

“Nope. From everything Khloe and Felicity told me, he saved their lives.”

“Fuck, that’s good news.” I clapped him on the shoulder before heading outside. I walked outside to Paxon and sat on the curb by his side. “Pax.”

He didn’t look up from the asphalt between his knees. “Did I kill him?”

“No.”

“Am I going to jail?”

“No.”

His head fell into his hands and his shoulders started shaking. I threw an arm around his back and sat silently as he wept. This was going to be difficult for Paxon to cope with, but I’d be there to support him. Christ, what would have happened had he not been there today? He’d saved Khloe’s life. I couldn’t stomach thinking about what would have happened to Felicity if she’d gone into that house alone.

Paxon pulled himself together and looked up. “I lost it today. Twice. I need some help.”

“Okay.” I squeezed his shoulder tighter. “Then we’ll get you some.”

“Paxon?” Felicity’s gentle voice sounded at our backs.

I stood and held out a hand to help my friend off the ground. Before he’d even steadied his feet, Felicity threw her arms around his middle. He hesitated for a moment before bending down and hugging her back.

“It’s going to be okay,” she promised.

He held her for another second before they broke apart.

“The deputies would like to take your statement,” she told him.

“All right.” He tucked his hands in his pockets and walked inside the hospital.

Stepping into Felicity’s space, I pulled her into my arms. “What did Khloe say?”

“She’s scared but grateful we came when we did.” She shuttered and hugged me tighter. “I was going to take Paxon to the coffee shop, Silas. If he hadn’t tackled me and gotten my shirt dirty, we wouldn’t have saved her.”

“But you did. You got there and she’ll be okay.”

I rubbed her back for a few minutes, just holding her, until she leaned back and said, “I’m okay.”

My thumbs gently stroked her cheeks. “That’s my Lis.”

“Can we leave? I want to go.”

Looking up and over her head, I found Jess watching us from just inside the glass doors of the emergency room. “She okay?” he mouthed and I nodded. He waved and turned back into the hospital where his deputies were questioning Paxon.

“Come on, babe.” I folded Felicity into my side and guided her into the parking lot. “Let’s go.”

I helped her inside the truck, and after hopping in myself, I grabbed one of her belt loops and dragged her into the middle seat, not wanting her more than two inches away from me on a day like this.

We didn’t go straight back to the ranch. Instead, I drove her out to the river.

“What are we doing here?” she asked as I shifted the truck into park.

“I thought we could watch the sunset. I’m still on edge and so are you. Maybe an hour of quiet will do us both some good.”

She snuggled further into my side. “Good idea.”

An hour later, the sun was filled with orange and pink and the knot in my gut was finally coming loose. Felicity was doing better too because she’d stopped picking at the seam on her jeans.

“How did it go with your dad?” she asked. “Was the fight really bad?”

“No fight at all, actually.”

She leaned back and studied my face. “Really?”

“Really.” I pulled her back in close and smiled. “This woman once told me that I’d have better luck making my point if I didn’t let my temper get the best of me. She was right.”

“She sounds smart. You should keep her around.”

“For all of the days of my life.”

We stayed close and quiet, holding each other until the sunset faded away. By the time we pulled into the ranch, the stars were ready to greet us.

And so was my dad.

Waiting for us on the front steps, he stood when we pulled up to park.

“This can’t be good,” I muttered and opened my door.

Felicity hummed her agreement and slid to the passenger door to hop out of the truck.

I barely had my feet on the gravel when Dad was in my space, locking his arms around me for a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Silas. I’m sorry.”

“Dad, I—”

“Please let me explain.” He let me go and stepped back. Even in the dim moonlight, I could see the regret in his eyes. “Please.”

“Dad, can we not do this tonight? Felicity’s had a bad day and I’d like to just go inside and give her some quiet.”

“Oh, um, sure.” His eyes darted to Felicity, who had rounded the hood of the truck and was standing by the fender. “I’m sorry. I’ll let you guys go but I wanted to say that first. I’m very sorry.”

Felicity stood stunned for a minute, like she was waiting for him to take it back. But Dad was being sincere. I knew it, and after that minute, so did she. She turned to me and said, “I’m okay,” then looked to Dad. “I think I’d like to hear what you have to say, Elliot.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “We were at the hospital not two hours ago. Let’s not push it.”

“The hospital?” Dad took a panicked step toward her. “Are you all right?”

She sighed. “I’m fine, but let’s save that story for tomorrow. I’d rather not hash it out again.” Pushing away from the truck, she came to my side and threaded her fingers with mine. “Come on. Let’s go sit down.”

I looked at Dad and gave him a silent warning. You’d better not fuck with her.

He got the message. He nodded and led us over to the front porch steps of his house. The light was shining brightly through its windows but I couldn’t see Mom anywhere inside.

“Did you want to go inside?” I asked as he took a seat on the top step.

“No. I’m . . . locked out.”

Felicity’s choked laugh came out fast and she coughed to cover it up.

Dad’s eyes found her and my muscles tensed, waiting to see how he’d react. “It’s okay to laugh. I deserve to be sleeping with the horses tonight. Please, sit down.” He patted the wooden step.

Felicity and I sat, me taking the middle to act as a buffer between them.

“I’m sorry, Felicity,” Dad said, looking past me to her. “I’d like it very much if you’d give me another chance.”

Her fingers, laced with mine, squeezed a bit as she said, “I’d like that too.”

Fuck, I hoped this was real. I hoped that this wasn’t some sort of dream and I was asleep at the river. Life would be a whole lot better if Dad would treat Felicity with the respect she deserved. Life would be a whole lot better if we didn’t have to leave the Lucky Heart.

“I owe you both an explanation,” Dad said and took a fortifying breath. “You see, when I was in college, I was engaged to a young woman from San Francisco.”

What? How had I not know about this? I didn’t ask, though, just sat shocked as he kept going.

“She knew I wanted to come back here after college and take over the ranch from your granddad, so she came with me after we graduated. She lived in town and I lived out here, but she spent a lot of time on the ranch. She said she liked it. But two weeks before the wedding, I went to pick her up for a date and her house was empty. She’d moved back to California and told me in a note that she didn’t want to be a rancher’s wife. I never saw her again.”

Felicity’s hand clamped down on mine as I blew out a loud breath. “Holy fuck.”

So much made sense now. Dad had pinned his own broken heart on Felicity. Mom had said he’d had his reasons for not trusting Felicity. Not that Dad’s actions were right, but I could see now why he’d been so skeptical. In his eyes, Felicity was the fiancée that had abandoned him. She was the city girl who hadn’t wanted a ranch life.

Holy fuck.

Dad sighed. “It all worked out for the best. I met your mom a few years later and knew she was the one, but what my first fiancée did left its mark.” Dad leaned forward again to look at Felicity. “It wasn’t fair for me to compare you with her. I’m sorry.”

“I appreciate the explanation,” she said. “I get it, but please know, I won’t ever leave Silas again.”

“I see that now. Sorry it took me so long to pull my head outta my ass. I’m too stubborn for my own good.”

“Well,” she sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t make that easier on you. And I apologize for flipping you off.”

Dad chuckled. “I may have flipped you off too.”

“You did?” she asked.

“Your back was turned. Sorry.”

She laughed and leaned further into my side.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this, Dad?” I had missed out on a huge part of my dad’s life. I was mentally replaying so many arguments and discussions and seeing them from a new angle now. I would have done things differently had I known.

Dad shook his head. “Pride. I didn’t want my son to know how badly I’d been dumped. I was planning on telling you after Felicity left all those years ago but then we got into that big fight about you enlisting and leaving the ranch, and well, before we could talk, you were gone.”

Damn. I wished we had gotten the chance to have that conversation. “Well, I’m glad to know now.”

“I’m sorry, Silas. About everything. You said earlier that you wanted to run the ranch together. I’d really like that too, if you’d consider staying.”

“I’m done fighting with you, Dad.”

He held up his hands. “No more fights and I promise to be open to new ideas. Give me a chance to prove to you that I mean it. A month. Give me a month.”

We’d never gone a month without arguing. If we could make it thirty days, I might actually believe it was possible. “Okay. A month.”

“Thank you.” Dad clapped me on the shoulder. “We’ll make this work.” He stood and stepped down a step, holding out a hand to shake mine. Then he shuffled over and did the same to Felicity. “Welcome to our family.”

She shook his hand and smiled. “Thank you.”

“I’ll let you kids get home. Are you sure you’re not sick or hurt?” Dad asked her.

“I’m fine. We’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he said. “If Olivia lets me back inside, maybe we could all have breakfast tomorrow?”

I nodded. “Sounds good. Night, Dad.”

“Night.” Dad walked down the remaining steps and across the gravel lot to the barn. When the door slid closed behind him, I scooted back behind Felicity, framing her legs with mine and wrapping my arms around her chest.

“Wow,” she said. “Did that just happen?”

“Ask me again tomorrow.” I chuckled. “I’m still not sure this isn’t all a dream.”

“I really hope he means it,” she whispered.

“Me too,” I whispered back. Only time would tell if Dad and I could run this ranch together. Only time would prove if he would treat Felicity like a member of this family. But we had time. And if it didn’t work out, we had each other.

Felicity rested her head against my chest. “Now what?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I want you to tell me that you love me.”

I smiled. “I love you.”

“I want you to kiss me.”

I leaned to the side, bent down and brushed my lips against hers. “Anything else?”

She smiled and my heart skipped. “I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

Yeah, she would. Life would never be dull or boring with my Lis.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

One year later . . .

“Don’t overdo it today,” Elliot warned.

“Uh-huh,” I muttered.

“He’s right,” Silas said. “Take it easy.”

“Leave her alone.” Olivia came to my rescue. “She’s just sitting there.”

“No, she’s not. She’s cooking,” Elliot argued.

My lip curled. “She is just peeling potatoes. I’d hardly say what I’m doing is strenuous.”

“You’ll get carried away,” Elliot said. “I think you should go sit on the couch. Watch TV or read a book.”

I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. I was about ten seconds away from throwing a potato at his face.

“Come on, Dad,” Silas said. “Let’s get out of here before she maims you with that peeler.”

“Fine,” Elliot muttered and kissed Olivia good-bye. He came to me next and kissed the top of my hair before going outside.

“See you in a bit.” Silas’s arms wrapped around my stomach as he bent over my chair. “Love you.”

“Love you too, baby. Good luck out there.”

He kissed my cheek and followed Elliot outside. I enjoyed the view of him leaving almost as much as him coming. If I could move faster, I would have hustled after him and given that sexy butt of his a good squeeze before he’d left. As it was, it would take me ten minutes just to stand from this chair.

“Finally, they’re gone,” Olivia sighed. “You’d think you were the first woman to ever have a baby.”

“It’s a good thing she’ll be here any day,” I said, rubbing my belly. “I don’t think I can take more of his smothering. I’m peeling potatoes here, not running a marathon. Me, of all people, should be able to tell when I need a break.”

I sighed and took a drink of my herbal tea. God, I miss caffeine.

Olivia sat beside me with her rich, black coffee. “He’s just hovering because he cares.”

“I know. It’s actually quite sweet.”

If someone had asked me a year ago if I thought Elliot and I would have a loving father/daughter-in-law relationship someday, I would have said, “Fuck no.”

But the night of Derrick’s attack had changed everything.

Since that night, Elliot and Silas hadn’t had a single disagreement about the ranch, and Elliot had made it his personal mission to become the positive father figure I’d never had. He’d even asked to do the father-daughter dance with me at my wedding.

Silas and I had gotten married in a one-room country church, surrounded by family and close friends. Silas, wearing a simple black suit, had been waiting at the end of the aisle as Jess had given me away. Since Sabrina couldn’t be there, we had decided not to have attendants, with the exception of Rowen as my flower girl. She’d led the way down the aisle, wearing a simple plum dress with matching flowers in her hair. I had followed in my cream gown with a delicate lace bodice and billowing chiffon shirt.

Just as he had wanted, Silas and I had hosted a huge reception at the ranch after the ceremony. The white tent that I’d rented had taken up nearly all of the Grants’ backyard. The party had been in full swing when Elliot and Olivia had asked us to pop inside for a minute. Waiting for us in Elliot’s office had been their wedding gift.

The Lucky Heart.

That night, they’d deeded the entire place over to Silas and me.

My wedding gift to Silas hadn’t been quite as fancy. When we’d left the party and come back to the loft, I’d handed him a plastic baggie with my positive pregnancy test sealed safely inside.

That night, Silas got his ranch and I got my family.

Now, nearly nine months later, we were on our ranch, expecting our first baby and preparing for another branding.

“My break time is over,” Olivia said. “I’d better get going on the lunch buffet.”

“Leave that coffee,” I said. She gave me a sideways look. “I just want to smell it. I promise not a drop shall pass these lips.”

“Would you like me to make you some decaf?”

I grimaced. Let the record show, decaf coffee was not the same as regular.

Twenty potatoes later, I struggled out of my seat to help Olivia in the kitchen, hoping that standing would ease the pain in my lower back. Let the record also show, pregnancy was equivalent to a perpetual state of discomfort.

“We’re here!” Khloe pushed inside after a quick knock, Paxon following close behind. “Where do you want these?” She lifted five boxes of cookies she’d made for today’s festivities.

“Come to mama.” I held out my hands, planning to steal an entire box for myself and baby girl.

“I’m going to head down to the corral and help get the rest of the stuff ready. Do you need anything before I go?” Paxon asked Khloe.

“Can you bring in the cake for me?”

He nodded and jogged outside.

“Cake?” I shoved a snickerdoodle cookie in my mouth.

She shrugged. “It’s his favorite. He wouldn’t stop pestering me while I was baking so I finally gave in.”

“It’s tough to find good roommates these days,” I teased and she smiled.

Paxon had bought that little beige house by the cemetery, and not two weeks after he’d fixed up the spare bedroom, she’d moved in as his roommate.

Khloe hadn’t needed to bunk up. I’d brokered the sale of her and Derrick’s former house and she’d made a killing, plenty to afford her own place, but living with Paxon made her feel safe. Derrick was enjoying a fifteen-year sentence at Montana’s state prison for attempted murder but Khloe still had a lot of fears to overcome.

It was actually good for both of them. Khloe gave Paxon peace and he was steadier when she was around. Over the last year, he’d been seeing a counselor in Bozeman, and I think Khloe’s influence complemented his therapy.

“Ouch,” I muttered, rubbing my back. It was going to be a long day with this backache. Eating two more cookies, I went back to cooking, ignoring Elliot’s and Silas’s warnings to take it easy.

Hours later, the ranch was crowded with people and I had traded my post in the kitchen for a chaise lounge outside, visiting with Gigi and Emmeline as the kids played in the yard. Inside, Khloe and Maisy had come to my rescue, taking my place in the kitchen to work with Mom and Olivia as they prepared everything for the big dinner tonight.

“Ba, ba, ba, ba.” Adeline, my almost one-year-old niece, crawled over and pulled herself to her feet by my chair. With one hand, I stroked her pretty brown hair while the other rubbed the side of my belly. As nonchalantly as possible, I snuck a glance at my watch.

Surprise. My backache wasn’t a backache. This baby was coming a week early.

I was definitely having contractions and, holy hell, those fuckers hurt. They weren’t close enough together for me to raise the alarm but I was having a hard time concentrating on the conversation.

“What’s wrong?” Gigi asked me.

“Huh?” I looked up from Adeline. “Oh, I’m fine,” I lied. “The kids seem like they’re having fun.”

In the yard, Rowen and Mason were running around while Ben and Coby did their best to keep up. Draven, Nick and Emmeline’s one-year-old son, was more interested in the sand box than in playing with the bigger kids.

“Did you get the nursery finished?” Emmeline asked.

“Yep. Silas set up the crib, and I finished my last load of baby laundry last—ouch!” My hands immediately clutched my belly as I breathed through the strongest contraction yet.

“You’re having this baby today, aren’t you?” Gigi asked.

I nodded. “I think so.”

She held out a hand to help me up off the chair.

“I’ve got the kids,” Emmeline said as Gigi walked me inside. “Good luck!”

I followed Gigi blindly into the kitchen, the reality of what was about to happen both unnerving and exciting. Oh my god. I’m having a baby.

“Olivia,” Gigi said into the kitchen, “would you mind going down to the corral and telling Silas he’s about to be a daddy?”

The room erupted in cheers and clapping. Mom and Olivia rushed to my side for hugs and kisses before making room for Khloe and Maisy.

“I need my bag,” I said. “Would one of you buzz down to the house and get it? It’s in our bedroom, right inside the closet.”

“On it!” Maisy bounced toward the door with a beaming smile.

I sucked in a sharp breath as another contraction started, gripping Mom’s hand as I waited for the twisting pain to subside. “Phew. I am definitely getting the drugs.” I had been flip-flopping on whether or not to try a natural childbirth. Definitely not.

Waddling outside with my entourage, I caught a glimpse of Maisy’s car disappearing down the gravel road toward our house.

A few months ago, the construction crew had finished building our forever home. Silas and I had gone a little crazy on size, building a five-bedroom, three-bath house on the edge of the meadow where he’d had first taken me fencing. We’d opted for a craftsman style instead of log but had incorporated a lot of wooden beams and stone accents to give it a rustic feel.

It was everything I wanted in a house, designed with plenty of open space for family time and entertaining friends.

My head whipped away from the road and toward the corrals as the sound of a galloping horse pounded our way. I smiled as Silas came barreling up on Courage, his cowboy hat shielding his dusty face from the sun and his T-shirt pulled tight across his rippled stomach. God, he was sexy. Any other day, and I’d sneak him into the now-empty barn apartment for some afternoon nooky.

Silas swung down off Courage and took the porch steps two at a time. “You’re in labor? Are you okay?” he asked as he wrapped me in a hug.

“I’m fine.” My nose scrunched up as I pushed him back. “But you smell like burnt hair and cow shit. I’m not pushing out this baby with that smell wafting in my nose. You need to shower.”

He lifted his armpit and sniffed. “It’s not that bad. Let’s go.”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Gigi said. “She’s right. You stink. Shower, use extra soap, then meet us at the hospital.”

“Hold up.” Another contraction started and I grabbed Silas’s hand as my uterus squeezed. When it stopped, I looked to Gigi and said, “Time to go,” before turning to my husband. “Silas, shower. Don’t forget the car seat.”

“Lis—”

“Now is not the time to argue with me, baby.” Water ran down my legs and pooled at my feet. Okay, that was kind of gross. “Silas!” He was staring at the puddle with wide eyes but at my shout they snapped to mine. “Get a move on.”

He turned on his heel and leapt down the steps, sprinting for the barn.

Maisy returned with my bag before Gigi and Mom helped me into her car and off we went, speeding down the road toward the hospital. Gigi made short work of the trip, but by the time I arrived, my contractions were less than a minute apart.

“He’d better hurry.” Bad smell and all, I needed Silas with me now.

I waited for a contraction to pass before pushing open my car door, but before I could step out, Silas’s hand was there to help me down.

“How did you get here so fast?” I asked. “And you showered?”

“There was no way I was missing my girl’s arrival just to obey the speed limit. Come on, babe.”

Four hours later, Silas and I were staring at our beautiful baby girl.

Victoria Noelle Grant.

I was exhausted and in desperate need of a nap, my entire body ached, and things between my legs would never be the same.

But I’d never been happier in my life.

Silas

“Let’s take a walk, cricket. Give Mommy a chance to rest.”

I wrapped up my girl in the black band that Felicity had shown me how to use. I looked like a total putz wearing this baby carrier, but I didn’t care. At least it wasn’t pink.

And Vic loved it. The only way to get her to sleep was by walking her around. The minute you’d sit, she’d start screaming her head off. At one month old, she already resembled her mother in more ways than just looks. She’d inherited Felicity’s feisty spirit.

“Lis?” I stroked Felicity’s hair. She’d fallen asleep on the couch about twenty minutes ago.

“Hmm? Is she hungry?” Her head barely lifted off the pillow.

“I’ve got her. We’re going to take a walk. Get some sleep.”

She nodded and drifted off to sleep before I stepped away.

Fuck, she was beautiful. That woman, my daughter. They both took my breath away.

I grabbed my phone and a spare bottle from the fridge, then headed outside. We strolled along the gravel drive that wound up to my parents’ house, enjoying the early afternoon sunshine. In the distance, Mom was working in her garden and Dad was on the riding lawn mower.

“See all this, Victoria?” I bent down to kiss her soft hair as she slept. Her little nose rested against my chest. “It’s a special place. With you and Mommy, it’s where my dreams came true. Proof that miracles do happen on the Lucky Heart.”

I am, by no means, a ranching expert. The ranch activities depicted in The Lucky Heart are solely based on my experiences working on my husband’s family ranch in central Montana. When I met my husband in college, I knew nothing of agriculture, but over nearly twenty years, I’ve learned a few things. For the most part, my job is to stand by the fence and stay out of the way, but I help where I can and am not too bad with a pair of fencing pliers. One thing I have learned for certain is that no two ranches are alike. The way things are done on the Perry Ranch is unique and done for many reasons based on its size, location, history and available resources. But, though the Lucky Heart ranch is fictional, I hope you’ve enjoyed this glimpse into the ranching lifestyle that I’ve come to respect and cherish.

Jamison Valley Series

The Coppersmith Farmhouse

The Clover Chapel

Thank you for reading The Lucky Heart. I am truly blessed to have such amazing readers.

To Elizabeth Nover, my unbelievably talented editor. Thank you for helping make each story shine.

Thank you to Sarah Hansen, Julie Deaton and Stacey Blake for the special touches you give to my books. Thank you to Nazarea at InkSlinger PR, the team at EverAfter Romance and all of the book bloggers who promote this series.

Thanks to my family and friends who support my writing wholeheartedly. And to Bill, my own handsome cowboy. Thank you for making my ranching education fun over the last fifteen years. I can’t wait to see what new adventures the Perry Ranch has in store for us and the boys.

The Outpost

Coming November 2017!

Trapped in his tiny mountain cabin, she didn't expect to fall for his big heart.

Exposing a prominent criminal family with an investigative news report didn’t exactly work out the way Sabrina had hoped. Instead of basking in the glory of her article’s success, she’s on the run from a powerful man who wants her dead. To stay safe, she’s forced to trade one bad situation for another. Stuck in the Montana wilderness, she’s secluded from anything resembling civilization or the modern-day world. The only good thing about her situation is the gorgeous mountain man assigned to protect her. Too bad he isn’t the slightest bit interested in a city girl like her.

Beau likes his life quiet and simple. Give him a peaceful day hiking in the woods with his dog, and he’s a happy man. He has no use for large crowds, noisy cities or dramatic women. So when a hotshot reporter rolls into town, dragging her big-time problems with her, he should have run for the hills. Instead, he volunteered to keep her safe. Bringing her into his world won’t be easy, but if he can convince her that Montana isn’t as terrifying as she believes, they might just be the perfect match.

Devney lives in Montana with her husband and two children. After working in the technology industry for nearly a decade, she abandoned conference calls and project schedules to enjoy a slower pace at home with her kids. She loves reading and, after consuming hundreds of books, decided to share her own stories.

www.devneyperry.com

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