Brides of the Kindred

Book 8: Shadowed

Evangeline Anderson

KINDLE EDITION

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PUBLISHED BY:

Evangeline Anderson on Amazon Kindle

Brides of the Kindred

Book 8: Shadowed

Copyright © 2013 by Evangeline Anderson

Kindle Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

Author’s Note #1— First of all, please no piracy. It's not a victimless crime--I have a family to support so please, buy your own copy and encourage friends to do the same so I can keep writing these books for everyone's pleasure.

Author's note #2--Most of you know I'm writing another series as well as the Kindred now--a set of paranormal books called Born to Darkness. If you haven't checked them out yet, they are on Amazon, Smashwords, and All Romance. The first book is Crimson Debt and the second one is Scarlet Heat. I have a blurb for the third book, Ruby Shadows at the end of this book. There is also an excerpt from a new sci-fi erotic romance I've been working on called Purity. I'm almost done with it so I hope to have it out soon. Drop me a line and let me know if the first chapter intrigues you. I love to hear from readers and I usually look in on my Facebook page at least once a day.

Author’s Note #3—This is the eighth book in the Brides of the Kindred series. (I know, can you believe it? And I have some awesome ideas for book 9, Chained, as well.) Anyway, I recommend that you read Claimed, Hunted, Sought, Found, Revealed, Pursued, and Exiled before beginning Shadowed or you are going to be totally lost.

Hugs and Happy Reading to you all!

Evangeline Anderson

Dedicated to Kim:

Thanks for being a loyal and true friend and for kicking my butt to make me finish this book. I feel so blessed and lucky to have you in my life as a constant reader and support. Hugs, besty!

Table of Contents

Shadowed

About the Author

Brides of the Kindred Glossary

Ruby Shadows Blurb

Purity chapter 1

Chapter One

“You can’t do this to me.”

The harsh, grating voice took Saber by surprise as he stepped in the sliding metal door of his suite. He spun around to see who was speaking and, more importantly, who was in his home without his permission. The suite he and Lissa shared in the Kindred Mother Ship had been locked when he came in—he would swear to that. So how…? And then he saw him.

A hooded figure crouched in the far corner of the living area, his face hidden in shadows.

Saber knew it was a male—there was no question about that. The figure was half a head taller than he was, which was saying something since no Kindred warrior was under six foot six.

“You can’t…fucking…do this to me,” the voice snarled again.

“Who are you?” Saber demanded, taking a step toward the huge, crouching figure. “And what are you doing in my home?” He was glad that Lissa was out with Kat, planning the redheaded Earth girl’s joining ceremony. If he’d had any reason to think she was here with this strange figure and in any kind of danger…

“Saber? Is that you?” Lissa’s light, feminine voice drifted from the back of the suite, and Saber felt the short hairs on the back of his neck rise. What was she doing back? And what had been done to her in his absence?

“Lissa,” he sent through their link as he circled carefully closer to the hooded invader. “Stay where you are. Don’t come up here!”

“Who are you?” he barked aloud at the strange male, since the invader still hadn’t answered. “Goddess damn it, if you’ve touched my female—”

“Don’t worry, old friend. Lissa is perfectly safe.”

The invader raised his head, and at last, Saber was able to catch a glimpse into the shadowy confines of his hood. Pure silver eyes, like melted starlight, flashed at him and Saber felt the knot of protective tension and rage that had been building inside him suddenly melt.

“Reddix?" His voice was thick with relief. “Is that you?”

“Who else would it be?” Reddix growled. “Are you expecting another old friend you screwed over to show up this evening?”

“But what are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you for at least another week.”

“I came early. Couldn’t wait to see you and try to talk you out of this madness.”

“Watch what you say, Brother.” Saber heard the growl enter his own voice and did nothing to try and stop it. “Loving Lissa and choosing to spend my life with her is the sanest move I’ve ever made, and I won’t hear anyone say otherwise—not even you.”

Reddix made a noise at the back of his throat as he rose from his crouching position and came into the light.

“Then you won’t want to hear what your mother has to say about it.” He unrolled a small vid screen and thrust it at Saber. “Here. She made me swear by the Goddess to be sure you watched her message.”

Saber pushed the screen away before the recording could start playing and sank down onto the couch.

“I don’t care what you or she or anyone else has to say, my mind is made up.”

Reddix sat down beside him, on the opposite side of the large leather couch.

“So you’re really going to do this? You’re going to give up everything, your home, your future, your position as the Clan Overlord—all for a female?” His gravelly voice was incredulous.

“I’m afraid so.” Saber sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I know it’s hard for you to comprehend, Reddix, but for the right female, it’s worth it, and Lissa is the right one for me. Try to understand—I’ve loved her from the moment I saw her.”

“By the laws of our people, she’s your sister,” Reddix pointed out.

“I know.” Saber shook his head. “I know how wrong this seems to you—to everyone back home. But there is no blood tie between us, and for some reason, the kinship compounds didn’t take for either Lissa or me. So we’re not repelled by each other as any other male and female of our clan would be if they tried to be together.”

“I’m not judging you,” Reddix said heavily. “I’m in no position to judge. I’m just saying.”

“I know. And I’m just saying that the moment I saw Lissa’s face, so many years ago, I knew she was the one for me—the only one.” He put a hand on his friend’s broad shoulder. “You’ll understand when you find the one female for you.”

Reddix shook off his hand. “Right, just find a female—that’s the answer to everything. Except it won’t do me a damn bit of good unless she can somehow cure my disease.”

“Ah, yes…that.” Saber coughed, feeling stupid. How could he have been so insensitive as to talk about love and bonding with a female to one with his friend’s condition?

“Yeah, that.” Reddix’s deep, rasping voice was heavy with sarcasm. “That little thing that makes having a female impossible. That minor detail which has kept me hiding in the shadows half my life.”

“You don’t have to hide with me—you can take off the hood,” Saber said quietly, indicating his friend’s shadowed face. “I’ve seen you before, you know.”

“I’m keeping it on.” Reddix’s eyes flashed silver from the depths of the hood. “You want to know the truth, I almost never take it off now, not even at home.”

Saber frowned. “But surely at home, where everyone is used to seeing you…”

“It’s getting worse.” Reddix got up abruptly and began pacing, his big body moving smoothly with animalistic grace.

“You mean your RTS?” Saber shook his head. “I didn’t know it could get worse.”

“Well, apparently, it can,” Reddix snapped. “A hell of a lot worse.”

RTS was short for Reverse Touch Syndrome, a rare disease that affected only Touch Kindred males and only one in a thousand at that. The sufferers were almost all from the Star Clan, which Reddix’s father had been. But there had never been any RTS in his family before Reddix had been diagnosed with it not long after they had come to manhood together.

Since they had grown up in the same town, Saber could remember his friend before he had been afflicted with the dreaded disease. Reddix had been so happy when he was younger—outgoing and funny with a dry sense of humor. He had been teased some for his beautiful features—Star Clan members were notoriously lovely, and Reddix was no exception. Still, he took the teasing good-naturedly and fit in well with the group of young males they ran with, even though he looked different from the rest of them.

And then just at the age when they were becoming adults, Reddix had been dealt a crushing blow—his Touch sense had failed to develop. Or rather, it began to develop wrongly.

He’d kept it a secret for a long time—longer than Saber would have thought possible. Back when he and his friends were just starting to experiment, using their new Touch senses to play tricks like pulling a favorite female’s hair or blowing in her ear with newly developed whisper-lips, Reddix had begun to withdraw. He started wearing baggier clothes and jackets with high collars or hoods—anything to hide his muscular body and handsome face. Anything to avoid the curious stares of other people.

Finally, his parents had caught on and taken their only son for testing. Though the doctors had told them what they had feared all along, the shock was still so great it nearly tore their family apart. Reddix’s parents had distanced themselves from him, had allowed him to hide himself away out of shame. His friends had fallen away too. Only Saber and Reddix’s little sister, Minda, had stuck by him.

Watching his friend pace, Saber felt a great surge of pity for his friend. RTS was a diagnosis every male of the Touch Kindred feared above all else, because it was crippling on so many levels. It meant that Reddix would never be considered a man—not really. Because of his inability to Touch a female with his mind, he would never be able to bond with a female or truly satisfy her by giving her the Deep Touch, which was what the Touch Kindred considered necessary for a fulfilling sexual relationship. In addition, the poor bastard had to feel the emotions of every other person who looked at him or touched him as a physical sensation upon his skin. It was no wonder he preferred to keep his hood on.

Still, back home he had only worn the hood to special occasions—gatherings of the Clans where he knew a lot of strangers who hadn’t seen him before would be assembled. If it had become necessary for him to wear it around everyone, even old friends like Saber, he must really be in a bad way…

“Stop it!” Reddix barked, rounding on him suddenly. “Stop it, Goddess damn you!”

Saber jumped, startled. “Stop what?”

“Stop pitying me! And don’t try to deny it.” Reddix stabbed a finger at him accusingly. “I can feel your pity like acid burning down my spine. And let me tell you, Brother, it isn’t pity you ought to be feeling—it’s guilt.”

“Guilt?” Saber raised an eyebrow at him. “Guilt for what exactly?”

“For screwing me over this way—for abdicating your responsibility. For forcing me to take your place as a public figurehead when you know perfectly well it’s my personal idea of the Seventh Hell.”

Saber did feel a stab of guilt at his old friend’s words, and Reddix nodded at him with bitter satisfaction.

“Now you understand,” he said, sinking down on the couch beside Saber again.

“Reddix, please—I never meant—”

His friend held up a palm to stop him.

“You don’t have to say it. I feel your remorse too—a stinging pain deep in my side like someone slipped a knife between my ribs, right here.” He pressed one large hand to his side.

“Goddess,” Saber murmured through numb lips. “You can feel it that distinctly?”

Reddix grunted moodily. “It’s not pleasant but it’s a hell of a lot better than what I’ll have to face if I become Clan Overlord. Greeting the people, going out to meet the crowds, feeling all of their emotions all over me…” He leaned forward, and Saber saw the glint of desperation in his pure silver eyes. “Saber, I can’t do this. You have to come back.”

“You know I can’t.” Saber started to put a hand on his friend’s knee and then stopped himself, remembering that touching made the RTS worse. He sighed. “I’m so sorry, Reddix, but you know how our people would feel about Lissa and I being together. The Clans would be horrified that I had taken a female of my own clan as a bride, and I can’t give her up. I wouldn’t even if I could.”

Reddix’s muscular body twitched nervously, and then the big male jumped to his feet and began pacing again.

“So that’s it then. I’m doomed to a life of pure hell, because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants.”

“I’m sorry.” Some of Saber’s guilt turned to anger. “I didn’t plan this—any more than you planned on having RTS.”

Reddix barked a laugh. “So you’re saying love is like a disease? Like a fucking cancer eating into your heart that you can’t cut out?”

“It’s not like that,” Saber protested. “You’d understand if you could just—” He stopped abruptly, biting the inside of his cheek.

But it was clear Reddix knew what he’d almost said.

“If I could just what, Brother?” he demanded. “Just find a female to love? One who won’t pity or resent me for not being able to give her the Deep Touch? One whose emotions I won’t have to wear like an ill-fitting suit of clothes every Goddess damned day for the rest of my life? Well, guess what?” He laughed bitterly. “My parents and yours have already gotten together and found me one.”

“What?” Saber frowned. “But I thought…who? Who did they pick for you?”

“Tilla. You remember her?”

“Of course I do—she was just a few years behind us at school.” Tilla was a gossipy girl, well known for her love of pretty clothes and expensive jewelry. Her father, a prominent merchant on Tarsia, kept her well supplied with both, but she wouldn’t have struck Saber as Reddix’s type. Not that anyone really was, not with his RTS. Still, if he had to pick anyone for his friend, Tilla would have been the last on the list.

“Feeling her emotions is like swimming in slime.” Reddix’s harsh voice sounded weary and disgusted. “And she hates me too. Nevertheless, she’s got the right bloodlines for succession, and she’s agreed to be my bride.”

“But…but why?”

“You know how important social position and prestige is to her family—she wants to be the wife of the Overlord, even if the Overlord is a fucking cripple who can’t give her the Deep Touch. Who can’t even stand to touch her physically enough to have sex with her.”

“About that…” Saber cleared his throat. “If you can’t even stand to touch her, how will you—”

“I’ll have to manage, somehow. I have to give her an heir and soon—before my RTS….” Reddix shook his head. “The line of succession must be upheld.”

Saber sighed. “Look, Reddix, this doesn’t have to be your life if you don’t want it. Give it up, like I did.”

The silver eyes glinted. “You mean abandon my post and abdicate my responsibilities? You know who’s next in line for the succession of Clan Overlord if I pass on it, Saber?”

Saber shifted uncomfortably. “Um…isn’t it Fendrick? He should do well as the Clan Overlord.”

Reddix looked away. “He might have—if he hadn’t died in a duel a few days ago.”

“Fendrick’s dead?” Saber couldn’t keep the shock out of his voice.

Reddix nodded grimly. “The damn fool was always too quick to take offense—this time he happened to take it from someone who was better with a knife than he was. Now that he’s gone and you’re off playing house with your amalla, there’s no one else besides me. And you know how hot blooded most of our males are—do you remember what happened the last time there was no clear leader to succeed the old Overlord?”

Saber felt sick. “The war of the Clans…” It had happened hundreds of years before, but the bloody conflict was still well remembered. Every clan of the Touch Kindred had brought forward a male they felt should be leader, and none had been willing to compromise. The resulting civil war had decimated the Touch Kindred and cemented the belief of the other Kindred races that they were too volatile and vicious to be allowed to consort with the rest of the Kindred as a whole. It had resulted in the banishment of the entire Touch Kindred people—what were left of them after a winner had finally emerged, that was.

That leader had been Saber’s ancestor and up until now, the line of succession had never been broken. But I’m breaking it now, he thought to himself sickly. I’ve already broken it. Reddix is right—I’m forcing him into the public eye—forcing him into a life that’s going to be a living hell for him. And all because I couldn’t help myself and had to have Lissa.

“Stop.” Reddix put a hand to the flat plane of his abdomen. “Now you’re making me nauseous. Your guilt is like a stone in my gut.”

“Sorry.” Saber shook his head. “Reddix, I’m desperately sorry about all of this. But I love Lissa, and we’re already bonded. There’s nothing I can do.”

“I didn’t think there was. I just had to ask. Don’t worry, old friend, I’ve got a plan B.” Reddix sat back on the couch.

“Plan B? What are you talking about?”

The melted silver eyes inside Reddix’s hood flashed dangerously. “I’ve been to see Xandra.”

“The swamp witch? You went to see her?” Saber shook his head, disbelieving. “You’re joking.”

“I wish I was,” Reddix said fiercely. “It wasn’t a very fucking pleasant experience. But I needed help, and there was no place else to get it.”

“All Xandra can offer you—can offer anyone—is death,” Saber protested. “You need to stay away from her, Reddix!”

“Too late.” Reddix laughed, a deep, harsh sound that hurt Saber’s ears. “We’ve already struck a bargain—a bargain in blood. See?” He held out his arm and pulled up the sleeve of his hooded jacket.

On the inside of his wrist, Saber saw something that made his gut clench with fear and loathing. There, on his friend’s pale skin was a black mark shaped like a small, slithering creature called a lthss. It looked remarkably like the Earth animal called a snake except that a lthss changed color after it fed, by sucking the blood from its victim, going from black to red. The mark on Reddix’s inner wrist was still small and still black. But what color would it be when Xandra was done with him?

“Reddix,” he said. “You can’t do this. There has to be another way.”

“To overcome the RTS long enough to get Tilla pregnant and make sure the Clans don’t kill each other?” Reddix barked a bitter laugh. “I don’t think so.”

“But this is extreme,” Saber protested. “I really don’t think—”

“No, you don’t, old friend. You don’t think about anyone but yourself. But you know what? I do.” Reddix jabbed a thumb at himself. “I’m thinking of my little sister—of Minda. Did you know she’s found a male from the Wind Clan? He doesn’t have much status, but he loves her and he’s good to her. They’re already joined, and she’s going to have a baby. What do you think will happen to that sweet, happy little family if the Clans go to war? How long do you think they’ll survive? And who should Minda side with—the clan she was born into? Or the clan she married into?”

He stood suddenly and swayed unsteadily.

Saber jumped up to help him, but Reddix shook off his hand and took another step back.

“Stop touching me,” he muttered. “Just makes it worse.”

“Sorry.” Saber took a step back. For the first time it occurred to him that his old friend looked more than just tired—he looked sick. He couldn’t get much of a look at Reddix’s face with the hood in the way, but from the little he could see, his friend looked unshaven and unspeakably weary.

“I’d better be going,” Reddix growled. “I need to get back and tell your mother and father and the rest of our people I’m their next Overlord.” He snorted. “You can imagine for yourself their overwhelming joy at the prospect.”

“Don’t go just yet,” Saber protested. “Stay for a while and recuperate—you look terrible.”

“Don’t look nearly as bad as I feel,” Reddix rasped. “But don’t worry, I’m not running straight back to Tarsia yet. I have some unfinished business right here on that little blue-green ball of rock all our Kindred Brothers seem so fucking taken with.”

“On Earth?” Saber frowned. “What do you want there?”

“It’s not what—it’s who.”

“Reddix, if I could—” Saber began.

“Don’t say another word—your mind is made up, I can feel it. The certainty that you’re not coming back is like a weight around my neck. A heavy fucking weight.”

“But—”

“And don’t worry.” Reddix pointed to the half unrolled vid screen, which lay on the floor. “I’ll swear to your mother you watched that and still wouldn’t come home. It’s doubtless only the first of many lies I’ll be forced to…”

His words trailed off, and he swayed again, much more alarmingly this time.

“Are you all right?” Saber took another step toward him in concern. “Brother?”

“Saber, I…I…”

But Reddix never finished. His silver eyes rolled up, showing the whites, and he dropped heavily to his knees. Then, before Saber could take even one more step forward to catch him, he toppled forward like a fallen tree, face down onto the floor.

Chapter Two

Nina Kerrick sighed as she dusted the glass case containing the brightly colored Seminole dolls and the display of sweet-grass coiled baskets. Moving methodically but quickly, she cleaned the rest of the exhibits and straightened the stacks of brochures located near the front of the small tribal museum attached to the Hard Rock Casino. The museum didn’t pay much, but she only worked there two or three times a week. She loved being surrounded by the fascinating history of the Seminole Tribe even though she was only half Native American on her mother’s side.

Her father was Welsh, and the resulting combination gave Nina an exotic look with high cheekbones and warm copper-tan skin. She also had long, straight black hair with reddish highlights, but it was her deep blue eyes, so unexpected in one with her coloring, that drew the most attention. Nina liked her looks, but she wished she had inherited a smaller behind—her big hips and bottom were a constant source of consternation, but no matter how hard she worked and dieted, they never really got any smaller.

She moved to the small gift shop area, swiftly straightening the array of handmade items—the patchwork vests and jackets, the pillows, potholders, and ornaments, as well as the miniature dolls attached to key chains. Crafted of palmetto husk fiber and adorned in brightly-colored traditional skirt and capes, the doll key chains were by far the best seller. Every woman who nagged her husband or boyfriend away from the gaming tables for a second had to have one.

The small space was straightened and ready for the next day’s patrons—mostly bored gamblers who trickled in from time to time from the casino next door. It was time for Nina to go. She barely had time to run through the drive-thru and get Mehoo-Jimmy her favorite fast food burger before she had to be at her night job as a therapist at Massage Envy in South Tampa.

She paused in front of a framed black and white photograph depicting a Seminole woman from 1910. The picture was part of the Camera-man exhibit, taken by renowned photographer Julian Dimock. The photographs he’d taken revealed fascinating details of Seminole Indian life deep in the interior of the Florida Everglades back at a time when few whites dared to venture so far.

The woman in the picture caught and held Nina’s eye not because of her historical significance but because of what she wore—strands and strands of glass beads woven around her neck. Not just a few either—the woman was wearing literally hundreds of strands, so many that they started just under her chin, covered her entire neck, and dripped down the front of her breasts. Their weight must have been enormous but the woman stood straight and strong, staring into the camera with an unyielding look in her dark eyes.

Nina didn’t need a degree in Native American studies to tell her why the woman wore so many beads. In the past, it had been a matter of pride—of status—for Seminole women. The beads were an outward exhibition of their wealth and worth, not just received as gifts but bought with the money they made themselves, selling handcrafted baskets, blankets, dolls, and anything else they could make. Seminole women would wear the beads, only taking them off at night, even though the immense weight of them eventually led to severe back and shoulder problems. It was a matter of pride to keep them on, and more than once a female who slipped accidentally into the river was drowned because of the great weight around her neck.

“So heavy,” Nina murmured, staring at the woman from over a hundred years ago. “How did you carry that weight day in and day out? How did you keep standing so straight?”

Her own weight to bear was nothing so tangible as hundreds of strands of glass beads, but Nina still felt it pulling her down. It was the dreams, of course—they were like an anchor tied around her neck. If she didn’t stop having them soon, they would drown her as surely as the Seminole women, too proud to take off their necklaces, had drowned in the swamps of the Everglades. And like a woman adding strand after strand of beads, the dreams kept getting worse until she woke up every night in a cold sweat, feeling like she might be sick.

“It’s going to be all right,” Nina told herself bravely. She lifted her chin. “Everybody has weird dreams once in a while.” Except these dreams had been happening for months. At first, they were no big deal, but lately…

If only I didn’t feel so…funny every time I have one.

Except funny wasn’t really the word, was it? It was more like aroused. Incredibly aroused. Nina didn’t know why, but whenever she saw the faceless man in her dreams, her heart started pounding and her palms got damp. And that was only the start—when he came closer, her nipples tightened and her pussy suddenly got so hot and wet she felt swollen between her legs. And all the time the man whose face she couldn’t see was talking to her in a low, harsh voice. Telling her all the things he wanted to do to her. Saying that she was the only woman for him, that she was the only one he wanted to touch…

She always woke up from these dreams sweaty and disheveled. And confused—so confused. Had she had a nightmare or a wet dream? Part of her said nightmare—no question. A man with no face chasing her? That had to be a bad dream. Except…bad dreams didn’t make you horny out of your mind. So much that she had to touch herself before she could go back to sleep. Nina couldn’t help being ashamed of that—how could the idea of a huge, frightening man whose face was hidden make her so hot? And why wouldn’t the dreams leave her alone?

Stop thinking about it! You’re only making it worse. And anyway, it’s time to go.

Nina glanced down at her watch and gave a low curse. She’d been thinking about her bad dreams so long she had forgotten about how late it was getting. It was past time to be out of there.

Flipping off the light switch, she locked up the small museum and ran for her car, parked at the far end of the employee lot. The hot Florida sun beat down on her, but Nina was used to it. She slid into her little hatchback, barely noticing that the interior was like an oven. The heat she could handle—it was the few cold days a year that got to her. Luckily, living in Tampa, those days were few and far between, so she was generally pretty comfortable.

She went through the drive-thru and got a double cheeseburger for Mehoo-Jimmy and a chocolate shake for herself from the dollar menu. It was a small splurge, since she was trying to save every penny to go back to school, but after the particularly bad dream she’d had the night before, Nina decided she deserved it.

I just need to let the dreams go, she told herself as she sipped the shake and drove toward Mehoo-Jimmy’s little bungalow. Need to forget about them and just breathe.

Pulling up in front of the little green house, she saw that Mehoo-Jimmy was sitting out on the front porch, petting one of her many cats and probably humming to herself. Sure enough, when she got out of the car, Nina could hear the soft, wordless crooning that was surprisingly tuneful drifting through the air. It was this soft sound that had comforted her after the death of her mother, when Mehoo-Jimmy held her and whispered that all was not lost, that she would see her again someday on the other side.

Nina had only been twelve when her mother had died of breast cancer, and Mehoo-Jimmy had taken her under her wing and protected her when Nina’s father was out trying to drown his grief in whiskey and gambling. In some ways, he had never gotten over her mother’s death—or at least that was the excuse he always gave when he came home drunk or lost his paycheck at the craps table.

But Nina didn’t want to think about her father now. She ran lightly up the path to the tiny pea-green bungalow, the white paper sack with the cheeseburger crinkling cheerfully.

“Mehoo, how are you?” She took the porch steps in two bounds and bent to kiss the soft cheek, wrinkled with age. As always, Mehoo-Jimmy smelled of baby powder and the herbs she grew in her garden out back.

“Hello, eecho.” The affectionate name meant “little deer” in Miccosukee, one of the Seminole dialects. The old woman gave her a wide smile, revealing teeth too white and even to be anything but false. “What you doing here? Don’t you have to be at that Greedy Massage place?”

“It’s Massage Envy, and I have a few minutes. Thought I’d bring you lunch.” Nina handed her the bag and pulled up a wicker chair to sit beside her. “So how are things?”

“Not bad, not bad. Except…” The old woman frowned at her. “I got a worried feeling about you, eecho. Early this morning when I first woke. Are you all right?"

“I’m fine, Mehoo.” Nina shifted uncomfortably under her adopted grandmother’s ancient stare.

“Tell the truth to your mehoo.” The old woman spoke sternly though her eyes were gentle. “I can tell when something is on your mind.”

“I had another dream,” Nina said, looking down at her hands. “A dream about the man…the man whose face I couldn’t see.”

As she spoke, the half-remembered dream came back with a force that left her feeling uneasy and ashamed. Besides the shameful way the strange dreams turned her on, there was something else about them—a feeling she got that the faceless man needed her help. That he was in terrible trouble, and only she could save him. But it was hard to say how she could possibly do that—he was so big, and his face was always shadowed…

“A man who hides his face? Hmm…” Mehoo-Jimmy hummed thoughtfully as she unwrapped the burger Nina had brought her. “That’s not good, child. He sounds like a bear.”

“He could be, I guess,” Nina admitted, frowning. “He’s huge—as big as a bear, anyway.”

“The bear is your spirit animal, Nina,” Mehoo-Jimmy said sternly. “You’ve dreamed of him before, remember?”

“Well, yes…” Nina sighed. She had had several dreams about a bear that talked to her when she was little, but that was years ago—a childish fantasy. Not that she would say that to Mehoo-Jimmy.

“When your spirit animal comes to you in a dream, you need to listen. What does he want, this bear?”

“I don’t know.” Nina raised her hands helplessly. “He never speaks, and I can never see his face—just these strange, glowing eyes like he’s hiding somehow.”

“Dreaming of a bear means fever coming,” Mehoo-Jimmy announced. “A fever you can’t put out with water alone.”

Nina nodded respectfully, though she wasn’t completely sure she understood. Mehoo-Jimmy’s late husband had been a respected medicine man of the panther clan, and the old lady had studied with him until she too was known as a doctor of Seminole medicine. She would never be as powerful as a medicine man, but her herbal remedies and medicinal rubs got good results and were favored above “white medicine” by many of the older tribe members. Her homemade medicine earned her just enough to let her keep up her house as well as feed herself and the many cats that could always be found wandering through her garden.

“This fever—could you put it out with your special tea?” Nina asked. Personally, she swore by the herbal tea Mehoo-Jimmy brewed for colds and flu. She was almost never sick herself, but when she was, the tea helped her bounce back within a couple of days.

“No medicine will be strong to quench this kind of fever,” Mehoo-Jimmy said mysteriously. “The power to heal such a fever will have to come from within. From here.” Leaning forward, she tapped one crooked finger above Nina’s heart.

“You know I don’t have power like you, Mehoo,” Nina protested.

The older woman had tried to teach her some of her cures and remedies, claiming she had the “healing touch” but Nina had never learned to make much more than the tea and a few herbal rubs. She always promised herself she would come and learn more, but these days she was so busy she barely had time to spare a few minutes with her adopted grandmother before it was time to rush off to the next job.

“Of course you do, eecho. Why do you think those clients of yours at the Jealous Massage place keep coming back over and over? Why else are you saving to go back to school and be a doctor? Because when you touch people, they feel your power—the power of your heart to heal.”

“Oh, Mehoo…” Nina made a shooing motion. “I just want to be a physician’s assistant. And it’s not like that—I’m just a good therapist. That’s why my clients come back. Not because of any ‘power’ I have.”

“You have more power than you think.” Mehoo-Jimmy nodded solemnly. “You have a strength in you, eecho. A strength that won’t let you break, no matter how far you have to bend.”

Nina felt sudden tears prick her eyes, and she looked away, trying not to let the older woman see her cry.

“I…I certainly hope so,” she said, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. “Because lately, sometimes I feel…feel like I’m going to break. These dreams…” She looked back at Mehoo-Jimmy and tried to smile, but the other woman shook her head.

“Tell me, Nina,” she said softly. “Are the dreams really so bad? Or is there another reason you’re upset. Is it that no good father of yours? What did he do this time?”

“Oh, Dad’s always in trouble.” Nina sniffed and sighed. “I am disappointed, though—I thought he was doing better. I had him going to Gambler’s Anonymous every Friday night. He hadn’t been in the casino in ages. And then…”

“Then what?” Mehoo-Jimmy’s eyes were hard, but the anger in them wasn’t directed at Nina.

Nina sighed. “Oh, I found out he’d been in the casino again. That’s all.”

“How much?” Mehoo-Jimmy asked. “How much did he lose?”

“I’m not sure exactly,” Nina lied uneasily. In fact, she knew to the penny how much her father owed. But if she told Mehoo-Jimmy, the sum might give the old lady a heart attack.

“Nina…” Mehoo-Jimmy frowned at her. “Are you helping him pay it off? Is that why you’re all the time working, eecho?”

“I’m helping a little—it’ll be okay,” Nina said. “Mostly, I’m saving for school. It’s just…I haven’t been sleeping well, so I’m a little tired right now, that’s all.”

In fact, she felt near the ragged edge of exhaustion lately. All the hours she was working combined with all the stress of the dreams to make her feel half-crazy most of the time. But she couldn’t let her mehoo know that.

“You shouldn’t be helping that dog of a man,” Mehoo-Jimmy snapped. “All he does is take, take, take. Probably doesn’t even care that you’re working yourself away to nothing, trying to keep his worthless hide from being nailed to the nearest tree.”

“Of course, he cares,” Nina protested. “He feels terrible about what he did. He just hasn’t been the same since Mom died. You know that.”

“That was twelve years ago, Nina. The death of a loving spirit is a terrible thing, but you can’t use it as an excuse forever.”

Mehoo-Jimmy was only saying what she herself had often thought, but Nina couldn’t help the surge of guilt she felt when hearing it spoken aloud. Her mother had begged her to take care of her father when she was dying, and Nina had done her best, though she was scarcely twelve at the time.

Cooking and cleaning the house as well as doing her homework had been a heavy burden at such a young age, but somehow, she had managed. And no matter how much she might hate her father’s drinking and gambling, she could never forget all the good times. The way he and her mother would laugh and dance in the little kitchen to the tunes coming out of the scratchy old radio… The way her father with his charming Welsh accent and deep blue eyes—the one feature Nina had inherited from him—would tell silly jokes and tickle her mother until she laughed so hard she cried…

“They were so in love,” she murmured, looking down at her hand again. “I guess…I can’t blame him for missing her so much.”

“He had a problem with gambling fever a long time before he met your mother.” Mehoo-Jimmy sighed and put a withered hand to Nina’s cheek. “Just don’t work yourself to death for him, eecho. He’s had his life, and he used it badly—don’t let him take away yours too.”

“He’s not,” Nina said a touch defensively.

“Yes, he is.” Mehoo-Jimmy sounded sad. “Look at you—you’re halfway through your twenties, and you still have no house or family of your own. You ought to find a good man to love you—someone to cook my special fry bread for.”

“You do make good fry bread,” Nina admitted, glad to change the subject. “I’d eat it all day if it wouldn’t go straight to my behind and hips.”

Mehoo-Jimmy made a disgusted hmmph sound. “You’re too skinny as it is, eecho—you ought to be eating a whole plate of fry bread every day.”

“The top of me, maybe. But this…” Nina patted her too-generous hips and ass. “This is never getting skinny, no matter what I do.”

“Nothing wrong with having wide hips,” Mehoo-Jimmy said with certainty. “It shows you’re fertile. The right man will come along and want to put a baby between those hips.”

“Mehoo!” Nina shook her head, laughing in embarrassment. Mehoo-Jimmy was known for speaking her mind, and she didn’t mince words. Half the time, Nina had no idea what she was going to say next.

“It’s true,” her adopted grandmother insisted. “Just you wait and see.”

“Well, I promise if I find a man who actually wants a girl with big hips and a wide behind, I’ll bring him home and feed him your fry bread—how about that?” she said.

“Hmmph,” Mehoo-Jimmy said again, frowning. “I’ll believe it when I see it. You don’t have time to find a man with all the hard work you do.” She narrowed her eyes at Nina. “The best I can do is send out a prayer that the man will find you.”

For some reason a shiver went down Nina’s spine. She thought again of the man in her dream, the one whose face was always shadowed.

“Don’t do that, Mehoo,” she begged. “I’m fine just like I am, really.”

“We’ll see.” The old lady turned her attention back to her half eaten burger. “We’ll just see.”

“Well, right now, I see it’s time for me to go.” Nina glanced at her watch. Actually, it was past time. She hopped up and dropped another kiss on Mehoo-Jimmy’s wrinkled cheek. “Love you, Mehoo. I’ll see you later.”

“Good-bye, eecho. Be well and safe. And thank you for lunch.” The old lady smiled and shooed away a cat before taking another bite of the burger with her big false teeth.

Nina waved as she slid behind the wheel of her car. Time to go to her shift at Massage Envy, which would last until nine. She loved working at the museum, but it did make for some long days.

She sighed wearily as she took a back road that led to South Tampa. The long hours had never bothered her before, but back when she first started her demanding schedule, she hadn’t been woken at least once a night by the dreams. And once she woke up, she couldn’t get back to sleep. Couldn’t get him out of her head.

How much longer could she keep going like this with little to no sleep? And why couldn’t she stop having the dreams?

Not for the first time, Nina wondered uneasily if something was wrong with her. Was she having some kind of mental breakdown? Going crazy?

Of course I’m not going crazy, she denied to herself uneasily. Everything is going to be fine. I’m sure tonight I’ll be able to sleep without dreaming. Tonight will be the night the dreams finally end.

But she didn’t believe it—not really. The man with the shadowed face was too real to just fade away like that. He wanted something from her—something Nina was afraid to give.

But what?

Chapter Three

Sylvan frowned as he stared down at the male lying on his exam table. According to Saber, Reddix had collapsed with no warning. Saber had thought it might be due to exhaustion and truly, anyone seeing the dark circles and ragged appearance of the Touch Kindred warrior would say the same. But Sylvan’s tests, performed quickly and discretely while the male was unconscious, said otherwise. The RTS Reddix suffered from was extremely serious—obviously more so than even his best friend knew. Sylvan wondered if Reddix himself had any idea of his dire prognosis.

He sighed and shook his head. Well, there would be time enough to tell him. In the mean time, he would let Reddix rest as long as he could. Not that the rest appeared to be doing him much good. As Sylvan watched, the big male body jerked and his eyes tracked restlessly under his lids. Was he registering the emotions of others even in his sleep? Or was he simply dreaming?

There was no way to know…

It took a long time to find the swamp witch’s hut. Hours of slogging through the putrid water coated in yellow and purple algae, pushing the low hanging branches and vines out of his way. Most of the vegetation on Tarsia was bright orange and yellow, colors that reflected the light of the planet’s red sun and hurt Reddix’s eyes, which were made more sensitive by his RTS. Still, at least he was away from the crowded city, away from the constant intrusive buzzing hum of emotion that always surrounded and invaded him.

The fact that the rotten smell of decay, the fetid heat, and the stinging flies that kept buzzing around his hooded face were preferable to his own cozy home on the outskirts of the city told Reddix volumes about himself. The RTS really was getting worse. If he didn’t get a handle on it soon…

But he refused to think about that. Up ahead, he saw a wooden shack with a wisp of purple smoke coming from its crooked chimney. That must be the place.

Slogging through the blackish-purple mud, he came around to the front of the ramshackle place. But just as he was raising his hand to knock, a voice called his name.

“Reddix…Reddix, son of Redan, second in command of the Clans of the Touch Kindred.”

Reddix frowned. The voice seemed to have come from inside the shack, but he couldn’t feel any emotions coming from the low wooden structure.

“Come in,” the voice, a low, feminine contralto continued. “Come in, I’ve been expecting you.”

A shaft of unease pierced him. How could she be so close without him feeling her emotions? Generally when he was within twenty yards of a person, he began to feel what they felt as sensations against his skin. The closer he got or the more people there were, the more magnified the feelings. Touching intensified it even more, which was why Reddix went out of his way to keep his hands to himself. He wasn’t touching her, but from the sound of her voice, the witch was just on the other side of the door. Why couldn’t he feel her?

“All will be explained, Warrior. Don’t fear—step inside.”

Despite his unease, Reddix had come too far to turn back. Slowly, he pushed the door open and stepped into the hut. It took a moment for his sunlight-dazzled eyes to adjust to the gloom, but what he saw surprised him.

Sitting by herself on a rough wooden stool was a woman with long, white-blonde hair and piercing yellow eyes with strange, vertical pupils. She was wearing a flowing black gown, but despite her plain dress, she had lovely, delicate features and long white hands. On one of her fingers was a large ring with a dazzling pink jewel. It flickered in the firelight as she moved, stirring something in a large pot.

“Who are you?” he asked suspiciously. “I’ve come to see Xandra.”

“I am she.” She widened her slitted yellow eyes at him and laughed. “Yes, that’s me—the swamp witch. What? You thought all witches had to be old and ugly? Sorry to disappoint you, Reddix, my dear.”

“I just thought…never mind.” He shook his head. “Why can’t I feel you? Your emotions…”

“Ah yes, your RTS. Such a nasty affliction.” She shook her head and made a tsking sound. “As to that, you can’t feel me because I’m shielding myself. I can do that, you see, because I have a Touch sense myself—the same as any male of our Clans—and I’ve learned to use it.”

“What?” Reddix frowned. “But a female can’t have the Touch Sense. That would be—”

“Unnatural? Blasphemy? A crime against the Goddess and Nature?” Her slitted eyes flashed. “Yes, that was what your father said when they cast me out. Do you think I live out here by choice?”

“I…don’t know.” Reddix shook his head. “But I thought…I heard you have powers.”

“Oh, I do. Above and beyond my oh-so-unfeminine Touch Sense.” She smiled mockingly. “And fortunately for you, I’ll be happy to use them for your benefit.”

Reddix frowned. “I thought it would be harder than that. Why would you want to help me, just like that?”

“Because I feel for you, dear boy.” She put one long white hand to her bosom. Looking more closely, it almost seemed to Reddix that her fingers had extra joints. But that couldn’t be—could it?

“I know all about you, you see,” the witch continued. “I’ve been keeping tabs on you for years—ever since you were diagnosed, in fact.”

The skin between his shoulder blades began to crawl. The witch was lovely on the surface but there was something under her smooth, beautiful face that wasn’t right. Something as putrid as the swamp she lived in.

“I should go.” He started to turn, but her words stopped him.

“What a pity—going before you get your cure?”

Slowly, Reddix turned back. “You can cure me? You can reverse my RTS?”

“I can’t reverse it, and I can’t give you the ability to give a female the Deep Touch—let’s be perfectly clear about that—I don’t believe in false advertising.”

“Then what can you do?” Reddix demanded.

“My dear Reddix, I can mute it. I can make it so you never have to feel the emotions of anyone around you again.” She rose and came to stand before him. “Now wouldn’t that be a relief?”

“I—”

“Just imagine,” she continued, tapping him lightly on the chest with one long nail. “Having a conversation with another person without feeling their emotions crawl all over you like slugs. Their curiosity pricking you like a thousand needles, their contempt coating the back of your throat like vomit. Or if they’re female…” She reached up and threw his hood back, baring his face before Reddix could stop her. “My, my, yes…” She nodded approvingly. “I can only imagine what you feel when females look at you—you’re a pretty one, my warrior. Too pretty for one with a condition like yours. Is that why you did that to your face?” She reached up to brush his cheek with her fingertips, but Reddix jerked his head away.

“Don’t touch me.” He took a step back and pulled the hood back into place.

“But why, my dear Reddix? Surely you can’t feel my emotions no matter how lascivious they are—I told you I’m shielding.”

“Shield all you want, just don’t touch me.”

It was true he couldn’t feel the witch’s emotions but when she got close, he could sense they were there, barely held in check by the invisible barrier she had somehow erected between them. It was as though she was holding a bag of live vipers and the sides of it were bulging—he didn’t want to get bitten when it finally burst.

“I came here for help—not to be mocked,” he said stiffly.

“And as I said before, I’ll be happy to help you.” She smiled. “For a price.”

This was more like what Reddix had expected. “Name it, witch,” he growled. “And I’ll tell you if I’m willing to pay.”

“Oh, you’ll pay all right.” She smiled at him, her yellow eyes flashing again. “You’ll pay because you have no choice.”

Reddix nodded. “I have a good amount of credit saved…”

“I won’t be paid in coin or credit.” The witch’s red lips curved into a smile. “I want to be paid in blood.”

Reddix held out a wrist without hesitation. “Take it.”

“Not yours, my dear. The payment and, indeed, the cure you so desperately need, can only be made with the blood of another. The blood of one with a pure heart and healing hands.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know anyone like that.”

“Not yet, you don’t.” The witch smiled knowingly. “But you will. You are going with a delegation to the Kindred Mother Ship to try and talk your good friend Saber out of his incestuous love, are you not?”

Reddix frowned. “How do you know about that?” The fact that Saber had decided to marry a female from his own clan, thus committing incest in the eyes of the Touch Kindred, had been hushed up as much as possible.

“Never you mind how I know. The point is, there is one such as I have mentioned on the planet the Mother Ship orbits. One whose blood can seal our deal and set you free.”

“So you want me to find some innocent person and sacrifice them so that I can be free of my curse?” Reddix grated. “I may not have a Touch Sense, but I still have my honor.”

“Oh honor. Who cares for that?” The witch made a dismissive motion. “Besides, what choice do you have? Think of the Clans and your darling little sister. Think of all the carnage if you fail to overcome your RTS and get that lovely young bride you’re going to take pregnant with an heir.”

“You must have a bug or a spy—something—”

“Never mind what I have.”

Xandra walked back to the boiling pot and stirred the thin blue broth in it with one long finger, apparently heedless of the pain. “After all, it’s not like I’ll kill her, this innocent little flower you’re going to pluck. I just need some of her blood, and then you can return her if you like. Or keep her as a pet, I don’t care.” She shrugged.

“But…” Reddix shook his head. “I’m told there are billions of people on that little world. How can I possibly find the right one?”

The yellow eyes glinted pure gold for a moment. “How do Kindred usually find the right one for them? You’ll dream of her, of course. And when you go down to the surface, you’ll be drawn to her—like an iron filing drawn to a magnet.”

“But how will I know for certain she’s the right one?”

“When you find her, you’ll know.”

“But how?” Reddix demanded.

“You just will. But I’ll give you a test to be absolutely certain. Here, give me your arm.”

Taking a step forward, Reddix thrust out his right arm.

Xandra reached into the bubbling pot again and pulled out a small, writhing black speck. Before Reddix could protest, she dropped it onto the exposed skin on the inside of his wrist. There was a sharp piercing sensation for a moment, as though someone had driven a spike right through his flesh. Reddix grunted in pain and jerked away.

The witch laughed.

“I know—it stings, doesn’t it? Poor baby.”

“What is it?” But looking down at his arm, he could already see the answer. “A lthss. What the hell? Why did you put this on me? These things are fucking parasites!”

“That’s not just any lthss, my dear Reddix. It’s my pet—tied to me. Just call it a symbol of our agreement.” The witch smiled and nodded at the tiny black creature now embedded firmly in his skin. “When you find the girl—and you will find her, never fear—simply press her skin to yours in the spot where the lthss lives.”

Reddix frowned. “I don’t touch skin to skin—ever.”

She smiled. “Do it anyway. When you find her, press her hand or finger to the lthss. If she’s the right one, it will bite her. When it takes her blood, it will turn crimson and you’ll know.”

“But if the lthss takes her blood, why do I have to bring her back? Why not just leave her where she is?” Reddix argued.

“Still troubled at the prospect of kidnapping an innocent?” The witch shook her head. “Well, you’ll have to get over that. I need her blood, fresh and hot, right from the vein or your cure won’t work. Do you understand?”

“But you won’t kill her? I won’t commit murder, not even to be free of this damn curse,” he growled.

“She’ll be fine…probably.” The witch smiled smoothly. “Now you’d better run along, my dear Reddix. The lthss will only remain inactive until you find her and press her skin to it. Then you’ll have a few solar weeks to get back to me. If you take longer than that, it will begin to feed on you. And that wouldn’t be pleasant, now would it?”

She was already herding him out the door, but Reddix wasn’t content to leave before he had all the answers.

“Wait.” He frowned at her. “I still don’t know what’s in this for you. Why should you help me? Why is this girl’s blood so important to you?”

“Oh, it’s not. Not really.” Xandra smiled brightly. “Although there is power in purity of spirit, which I can never again hope to possess myself.”

“But I still don’t understand why you’re willing to help me.”

“I…because I…”

The witch began to shake. Her yellow eyes suddenly rolled up, showing only the whites, and her voice deepened to a strange sonorous tone.

“Dark and Light

Wrong and Right

When one finds Peace

The other may Fight

Day and Night

Growth and Blight

One in Love

The other in Flight

Tied together

Fate to fate

Strangers, brothers

Mate to mate

Prisoners they no longer be

When one is healed

The other is free.”

“What?” Reddix stared at her, wondering if she was having some kind of a seizure. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Xandra’s eyelids fluttered, and she suddenly looked normal again. Or as normal as a swamp witch with pale white skin, yellow eyes, and fingers with too many joints could look, anyway.

“I beg your pardon, my dear Reddix. Where were we?”

He frowned. “I was asking why you’re willing to help me in the first place.”

“Oh. Because in this deal, I can’t lose.” The witch patted his cheek, or tried to—Reddix jerked away before she could touch him. “Tsk tsk, so skittish.” She shook her head. “Anyway, as I was saying, I can’t lose. If you return bringing the girl with the healing hands and I cure you of your RTS, I’ll have done a favor—one which I expect to be repaid—for the future Clan Overlord.”

“And if I don’t?” he growled.

Her yellow eyes glowed. “Then I’ll get to watch as the Clans that threw me out clash in a bloody civil war. I’ll get to watch as the Touch Kindred and all they love burn.”

“Burn…as they burn…burn to ashes…”

“Reddix? Reddix, wake up.” There was a sound like snapping above his face, and then someone patted his cheek, gently but firmly.

Reddix flinched away from the touch instinctively. Despite the briefness of the contact, he could feel the concern of whoever had touched him like some warm, sticky syrup dribbling over his cheek. Ugh.

Abruptly, he was awake, and the memory of his encounter with the witch dissolved. Only the stinging of the tiny lthss embedded in the flesh of his wrist remained. He shuttered. Gods, of all things to dream of…

“Can you hear me?”

“'Course I can hear you. I’m not fucking deaf.”

Reddix forced his eyes open and saw a concerned face—a male with ice blue eyes and white-blond hair—leaning over, staring at him.

He immediately felt naked. Where was his hood? He reached for something to cover his face but the other male stopped him.

“Don’t. Your hood is safe, and I’m the only one here. I won’t touch you again except to examine you, and that will be very minimal, I promise.”

“Who are you?” Reddix licked his lips with a tongue that felt like sandpaper. “Where am I? What happened?”

The male smiled, and Reddix felt his amusement, tart-sweet at the tip of his tongue.

“One question at a time,” he said. “I’m Sylvan, one of the physicians aboard the Mother Ship, and you’re in a private room in the Med Center.”

Reddix frowned. “You still didn’t tell me what happened.”

“You fell and bumped your head.” Sylvan frowned. “According to your friend, Saber, you lost consciousness well before that, though. Has this happened to you before?”

“Once or twice,” Reddix said before he thought about it. Immediately, the other male’s concern increased, making him even more uncomfortable. Damn it, why hadn’t he lied? “I mean, not really, no,” he amended quickly.

The blond physician frowned. “Mmm-hmm.” Clearly, he didn’t believe Reddix. “Saber tells me you have RTS.”

“Yeah, but it’s under control.” Reddix started to sit up. “Can I go now?”

“Not so fast.” Sylvan pushed him gently but firmly back down on the exam bed, and Reddix tried not to flinch from his touch. “How long have your symptoms been this advanced?”

Reddix glared at him, but the other male simply looked back patiently. “We can stay here all day if you like. Or you can tell me what I want to know and go back to your guest suite a lot sooner.” His voice dropped to a gentler tone. “I just want to help you.”

“Nobody can help me,” Reddix growled. “But if you have to know, my symptoms have been getting worse ever since Saber left Tarsia. As second in the line of succession, I’ve had to take on a lot of his duties. That means more public appearances, more council meetings, more of everything to do with other people.”

“And that forced contact makes your symptoms worse?”

“Having all those people staring at me, feeling about me, their emotions constantly Touching me…” Reddix shook his head. “Let’s just say it’s no fucking picnic.”

“Hmm.” Sylvan nodded. Instead of pity or disgust, Reddix was surprised to feel the other male’s curiosity, marching like a line of insects along his skin. “And what are they feeling?” he asked.

“What do you think they’re feeling?” Reddix snapped. “I’m an oddity to them—a freak. A freak who might wind up ruling them if anything happens to Saber. Now there’s an idea that stirs up strong emotions—none of them very Goddess damned pleasant, I might add.”

“And the more emotion you’re forced to endure, the stronger your symptoms get. So how long have you been blacking out?”

Reddix ran a hand through his hair, which was long and shaggy, in desperate need of a cut. “Just for the past solar month or two. It never lasts for long—I wake up feeling a little weak, but it passes. I’ll be fine—can I go now?”

“Actually, you won’t be fine.” Sylvan’s ice blue eyes were filled with concern—so much so that a sticky film of it seemed to coat Reddix’s skin.

“Please don’t,” he said thickly. “Don’t feel for me. If you have something to say, just say it.”

Sylvan nodded. “All right. Reddix, I hate to tell you this, but the symptoms you’re experiencing are serious—very serious. I believe that your RTS has progressed to the point where it may very well be fatal.”

Reddix took a deep breath and blew it out. “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.”

Sylvan looked surprised. “You knew?”

“You don’t get a disease like RTS and not research the hell out of it,” Reddix said. “I’ve looked for years for any kind of hope—any kind of a cure. But I also learned what could happen if it went too far. I know the blackouts aren’t a good sign.” He shrugged. “But what can I do?”

“Slow down for a while,” Sylvan advised. “Stop the public appearances and council meetings. Take a break—your system needs a rest before it completely overloads.”

Reddix shook his head. “Can’t do it. Now that Saber is gone and isn’t coming back, there’s no one else. I have to keep going.”

Sylvan frowned. “If you do, you’ll die. The next time you black out, you might not wake up.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Reddix demanded, irritated by the worry and disapproval he felt coming from the other male. “But stopping isn’t an option. Besides, you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be fine—I need to get back.”

“Tarsia will keep turning without you for a little while longer,” Sylvan said gently. “I want to keep you here in the Mother Ship for at least one solar week—you can spare that much time, surely.”

Reddix frowned. “I’ll give you two days.”

“Four days,” Sylvan said grimly. “And that’s my final offer. I won’t clear you to fly until then.”

“Clear me to fly?” Reddix frowned. “What the hell are you talking about? I came here in my own ship, and I’ll leave in it whenever I want to.”

“Oh, no you won’t.” There was a steely glint in Sylvan’s pale blue eyes. “You had a loss of consciousness, which means you need a physician’s permission to take off from the Mother Ship. You’re not going anywhere until I say so. Keep talking, and I’ll keep you here for a month—that’s really what you need to heal. A month of isolation with no one’s emotions intruding on you, forcing your system to react.”

Reddix glared at the other male, but he could feel the physician’s resolve like a cold steel rod pressed to his spine. Clearly, there was no changing Sylvan’s mind. Well, fine—he hadn’t been planning to go straight back to Tarsia anyway. He had unfinished business down on the planet. But what about the girl? When would he start to dream of her, and how long would it take to find her?

“Reddix? Do you understand?” Sylvan asked, and Reddix realized the other male had been waiting patiently for an answer.

“Fine,” he said at last, running a hand through his hair again. “I’ll call home and tell them I’m staying here to try and reason with Saber. Not that it’ll do any good.”

“Good. But that’s as much contact as I want you to have with anyone,” Sylvan said sternly. “After you make the call, I want you to go straight to bed. I want you to rest and relax and see no one—not even Saber—for the entire time. And report to me if you have another blackout immediately—are we clear?”

Reddix balled his hands into fists but somehow managed to keep from punching the other male.

“Are you this pushy with all your patients?”

“Only the ones looking to commit suicide.” Sylvan’s pale eyes snapped.

Reddix frowned. “Suicide? Look, just because my RTS has gotten worse, doesn’t mean I want to check out.”

“Don’t you?” Sylvan frowned pointedly. “Then stop pushing yourself so hard.”

“Excuse me, Dr. Sylvan?” The door opened, and a pretty young nurse with short black hair and brown eyes looked into the room. “I’m sorry to interrupt but I—oh…” She trailed off as her eyes caught and held on Reddix.

Once again he felt naked—completely helpless and vulnerable. Pinned by her gaze like a bug to a card. Whoever had taken his hood had also removed his shirt, the better to examine him, he supposed. But for whatever reason, it left him bare. He could feel the nurse’s gaze wandering over his naked face and torso, could feel the exact moment her intense interest turned to lust. The emotion coated his skin in a layer of cool slime, making his stomach churn and his muscles clench with disgust.

“Hello there,” she murmured, trying to make eye contact with him. “I heard there was a Touch Kindred in here, but I didn’t realize you’d be so handsome.”

“My hood. Where’s my hood?” Reddix looked away from her, feeling violated and hating himself for the stupid, helpless emotion. Certainly any other male being eyed by an attractive female would have loved it and probably returned her coy glance with a frankly interested one of his own. Instead, Reddix felt like he might be sick. Her emotions were so strong, so Goddess damned invasive. The cool slime of her lust coating his skin was like a jacket he couldn’t take off. Her desire stung like a swarm of Tarsian hornets, stabbing and poking at him, peeling him raw…

“Nurse,” Sylvan snapped, apparently sensing what was happening. “This is a private consultation. Leave at once and remember to be more professional in the future.”

The nurse gave Sylvan a surprised glance—clearly she wasn’t used to him talking to her in such a fashion. Then she shrugged and said, “Yes, Doctor,” before shutting the door.

“I’m sorry about that.” Sylvan rummaged in a small storage locker and handed Reddix his shirt and the dark green hood he wore almost constantly now. “Here, put these back on, you’ll need them. The Med Station is full of unmated Earth girls—a new training program we have going on at the moment.”

Reddix groaned. “I can see getting out of here is going to be fun.”

“You’ll manage,” Sylvan said. “Is it always this bad for you?”

“Worse with females,” Reddix admitted, sitting up and pulling the shirt over his head. He slid off the bed and stood up, flexing his spine. “Can I go now?”

Sylvan nodded. “But remember, I want you on complete isolation and bed rest. And call me if there are any more blackouts.”

“Fine,” Reddix growled, though he had no intention whatsoever of seeing Sylvan again.

“All right.” Sylvan sighed. “I hope you know I’m not trying to be officious—I just want to see you healed.” He started to hold out a hand and then drew back. “I won’t offer to shake your hand.”

“Thank you.” Reddix felt a surge of unwilling gratitude. At least this doctor understood his affliction. “For saving me the trouble of refusing and offending you.”

Concern filled Sylvan’s eyes. “When was the last time you touched anyone willingly?”

Reddix looked away. “Don’t remember.”

Sylvan shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Reddix said flatly. “I don’t want to feel your pity or your sympathy. For just once in my life, I don’t want to feel anything.”

“Then don’t,” Sylvan said firmly. “Go to your suite and go to bed. Rest and try to relax.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“You do that.” Sylvan looked at him gravely. “Let your body heal itself, Reddix. Before it’s too late.”

“I will,” Reddix lied. He was going to bed all right—he was beat and needed at least one good night’s rest in order to be in top shape. But as soon as his battered body and mind were ready, he was going down to Earth to find her—to find the girl whose blood could set him free.

Not so he could bond with her, though. All his life he’d heard other Kindred warriors speak with longing about finding their perfect female—the one soul who could complete them.

Reddix took a much colder view. This female—this Earth girl—was nothing more than a means to an end. He didn’t want her love or compassion or trust. He didn’t want to hold her and look deep into her eyes or rouse her body to pleasure with his touch. He had no interest in building a life with her or giving her sons. It was her blood he was interested in and nothing else.

And he would do anything he had to in order to get it.

Chapter Four

Lissa had waited until Saber was gone to pick up the half-unrolled vid screen Reddix had brought with him off the floor. She’d kept to the back part of the suite while Saber’s friend had been there, but she couldn’t help overhearing bits and pieces of their tense conversation. And then when the big warrior collapsed, she’d run out to help Saber deal with him.

But Saber had shooed her away. “Don’t touch him—he doesn’t like to be touched, especially not by females,” he’d said curtly. He’d called for some medical help and one of the floating stretchers from the Med Center and had followed his friend down, hardly saying a word to her before he shut the door.

Now Lissa sat with the vid screen on her lap, feeling awful. She knew she shouldn’t look at it—Reddix had clearly said it was for Saber’s eyes alone. But she couldn’t help herself—she had to know what it said even though it was sure to be terrible. It was like squishing a big bug under a rock and then feeling the need to look and be sure it was dead even though she knew the sight would turn her stomach.

With trembling fingers, Lissa unrolled the vid screen and turned it on. It hummed for a moment in her hands, and then a 3D image of her adopted mother—Saber’s real mother—suddenly appeared hovering above its surface.

“Saber, my son,” she began, holding out her hands in a beseeching way. “I hardly know what to say or where to start. Receiving your message that you intended to stay on the Kindred Mother Ship and bond yourself to a female of your own clan is almost more than your father or I can take. Think, my son—think what you’re giving up. What you’re doing to your life. This decision will follow you the rest of your days and ruin any hope you might have of leading a normal, ordinary existence. The people—your people—will never respect you again. And Saber…” There were tears glimmering in her eyes now. “You’re breaking your father’s heart. He couldn’t even bear to help me record this. He said to tell you that he still loves you, but he is very, very disappointed. As am I, my son.”

The 3D figure leaned forward, her eyes now overflowing with tears. “What has she done to you, Saber?” she sobbed. “How has she bewitched you into giving up everything that was so important to you? Into betraying your family and your people and throwing everything over for a relationship you must know is unholy and wrong? The Goddess sees what you’re doing with that awful, ungrateful girl, and she weeps. She weeps, my son—”

Unable to take it anymore, Lissa closed the vid screen with a snap, cutting the recording off. But the damage was done.

Though she and Saber had agreed they would ignore the age-old taboo of their people and forget they were from the same clan and thus, by Touch Kindred law, brother and sister, she could feel the old guilt coming back to her now. There’s no blood relation between us—not even a distant one, she reminded herself fiercely.

But the argument, which used to make her feel better, did nothing for her now. All she could hear were the words of Saber’s mother, making accusations and weeping for her lost son…

* * * * *

The conversation with Saber’s parents back on Tarsia did not go well. Saber’s mother wept copiously, and his father, the current Overlord, looked so grim it was a wonder his face didn’t crack into a thousand jagged shards. Reddix felt awful for them and angry at himself for caring. Still, it was true they had lost their son, and he, with his disabling disease, was a poor substitute.

The only thing he could be grateful for was the fact that he couldn’t feel their emotions through the viewscreen. Say what you wanted to about RTS, at least the person had to be physically present for their emotions to affect him.

It made Reddix wish he could lock himself away in a room somewhere and conduct all of his business via viewscreen, but that simply wasn’t possible. The rank of Overlord was a very hands-on, face to face type of position. The people expected to see the male who was leading them—see him, interact with him, look into his eyes, and clasp his hand…

Reddix didn’t even want to think about it.

Don’t think about it then, he told himself sternly. Think about the cure you were promised. About what the witch can do for you.

He didn’t know why he was so certain she could help—maybe because of the tiny pinpoint of pain in his wrist that was the lthss, maybe because of all the things she had known, which she had no business knowing. Or maybe you’re just too stubborn and too scared to give up your last hope, whispered a little voice in his brain. Science and technology had failed him. There was no medicine for RTS, because there was no way to treat the Touch Sense. It was an inherent part of a Touch Kindred’s soul. If the witch couldn’t heal him, Reddix might as well just lie down and die.

Well, I might do that anyway, if that doctor is right, he thought numbly. Better get some rest so I don’t black out and never wake up again.

The draining viewscreen conversation and all the emotions he had to feel as he made his way through the Mother Ship combined to take their toll. Reddix was so tired he could barely walk by the time he got back to his guest suite. He was so exhausted, so drained from feeling everyone’s emotions all the time. It was good to retreat into a dark corner alone and lick his wounds like a hurt animal for a while.

He staggered into the suite’s bathroom and shed his protective hood at last. Looking in the viewer showed a male with a wild mane of black hair and stubble so long it was almost a beard. Reddix contemplated a shave but decided against it. A shower was all he had strength for—he would deal with his ragged appearance after he slept a good eight hours. Or maybe twenty-eight—that would be nice.

After a shower so hot it left him feeling nearly boneless, he stumbled into the bedroom and fell across the bed. Tired, he was so damn tired…

He started dreaming before his head hit the pillow.

Chapter Five

“There you are.” Saber came up behind his bride and put his hands on her shoulders. He was glad to have found her at last—he’d been searching for hours, and now, here she was, back at their suite.

But Lissa pulled away from him.

“Don’t.” She stood up and paced to the other side of the living area. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what—don’t touch the woman I love?” “The woman I’m bonded to?” he added, through the mental link they shared.

“We shouldn’t be bonded,” Lissa burst out. “We shouldn’t be together at all. You know it, and I do too.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Saber came toward her, trying to take her in his arms. But she moved away from him, putting the couch between them.

“I’m talking about that.” She pointed at the vid screen Reddix had brought, which was lying half unrolled on one of the cushions. “I watched it,” she told Saber, her voice breaking a little. “I knew I shouldn’t but…but I couldn’t help it.”

“What did you see?” Without waiting for an answer, he unrolled the viewscreen and watched as a hologram of his mother appeared above its flexible surface.

“Saber, my son,” the holo said. “I hardly know what to say or where to start. Receiving your message that you intended to stay on the Kindred Mother Ship and bond yourself to a female of your own clan is almost more than your father or I can take…”

Saber watched the message, his thoughts growing grimmer and grimmer. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and turned it off. The flickering blue image of his sobbing mother faded, but somehow the crying didn’t stop. Looking up, he saw that Lissa was staring at him with tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, shaking her head. “So sorry—I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to take you away from your responsibilities, your family.”

Saber sighed heavily and went to her. This time, to his relief, she let him hold her.

“Amalla,” he murmured softly into her hair. “I didn’t mean for it to happen either—but it did. I love you. I can’t stop just because a few people think it’s wrong.”

“More than just a few people,” she protested, pulling away. “All our people—even your parents. Especially your parents. They hate me, Saber. And that’s going to be so hard when we go back.”

“When we go back?” He frowned at her. “To Tarsia?”

“You know we have to.” Lissa swiped at her eyes. “I know you wanted to ask me, but you didn’t know how.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Especially not after watching my mother rant and rave like that.”

“She won’t be the only one ranting and raving about us,” Lissa said bleakly. “And you know it.”

“Yes.” He sighed. “I know.” He hugged her silently for a moment, breathing in the delicate feminine scent of her hair and skin. “We don’t have to,” he said at last. “I was thinking about asking you but now…”

“Now more than ever.” Lissa looked up at him, her green eyes fierce despite her tears. “We can’t do this to your friend—it’s not honorable or right. We have to at least try to go back and do the right thing. I can’t take you away from your responsibilities just because I’m selfish.”

“Oh, amalla…” He kissed her damp cheeks gently, feeling a great surge of love for her. “You’re not selfish,” he said tenderly. “In fact, you’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met. Is it any wonder I love you so much?”

“Moch Daer…” she whispered, giving him the old, cherished nickname. “I love you too. I’m just afraid.”

“You have every right to be,” Saber said grimly. “But I promise you this—if it comes to a choice between you and the whole rest of the Touch Kindred race, I’ll choose you, Lissa. We’ll go back and offer to stay, together. If my parents and our people can’t handle that, then we’re coming back here, and I’ll swear them all off forever.”

“You mean it?” She looked at him hopefully. “I just…part of me still feels guilty, like they’re right. Like what we’re doing is wrong.”

“Is this wrong?” Saber murmured. Tilting her chin, he took her mouth in a sweet, gentle kiss, savoring the taste of her soft lips.

Lissa moaned softly and opened her mouth to him, granting him access without reservation. When he pulled back at last, her eyes were half-lidded with desire.

“It doesn’t feel wrong,” she admitted softly. “In fact it feels right. Incredibly right.”

“That’s because it is incredibly right.” Saber kissed her again and let his hands wander down the curve of her hips to cup her bottom. “Gods, I can never get enough of your sweet body.”

“Saber!” she protested breathlessly. “It’s the middle of the night, and you know how this metal the ship is made of conducts our…activities.”

“So?” he growled softly, kissing the side of her throat.

“So we’ll wake everyone up.” Lissa moaned softly as he nipped the vulnerable side of her neck. “That…that would be so rude.”

“I don’t give a damn about being rude,” he murmured, pulling her even closer. “All I care about is showing you exactly how I feel.”

“But—” The single word of protest had barely left her mouth when Saber swung her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. He laid her on the bed carefully, making sure her lower legs were hanging over the side.

“Tell me again how we shouldn’t be doing this,” he murmured as he lifted the little black skirt she was wearing. What he saw under it made him groan as his cock came to sudden attention. Lissa was wearing a tiny pair of bright red panties trimmed with lace that barely covered her sweet little pussy. Already the slender panel of fabric that ran between her legs was dark with her juices, making him want her even more.

“We…we really shouldn’t,” she protested, but at the same time she was spreading her legs for him, inviting him in.

Saber was quick to take her up on the unspoken invitation.

“Yes, we should,” he murmured softly. Dropping to his knees before her, he leaned forward to kiss her pussy. The silky panties felt soft against his lips, and Lissa bucked and moaned when he traced the cleft between her pussy lips with his tongue. “Gods you taste good, amalla,” he muttered hoarsely. “Can’t wait to feel you coming against my tongue.”

“Saber!” she protested, but she was already lifting her hips, helping him slip the little red panties off so he could bare her pussy completely.

Saber pressed his cheek against the silky skin of her exposed mound. Gods, he loved her scent, the warm, secret, feminine aroma that signaled her desire for him. And he loved her taste too—the sweet, slippery honey that welled up from her core was so delicious, so completely and utterly Lissa.

“You don’t know how often I fantasized about doing this,” he told her hoarsely, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her pussy slit. “How badly I wanted you, even back when we thought it was wrong.”

“You…you did? You thought about this? About…tasting me?” Her eyes were wide with shock.

“Constantly,” Saber assured her. “Even back before we knew the Kinship Compounds didn’t take with us, I thought about it. Even though I wasn’t sure we’d be able to ever touch physically at all.”

“Oh…” Lissa whispered, squirming a little. “I never dreamed this kind of thing was going on in your head.”

“What did you think I was thinking of?” Saber laughed. “I am male, you know.” With a little concentration, he sent two gentle whisper-tendrils to tease apart the swollen lips of her pussy. Lissa moaned out loud as they parted her, baring her slippery inner folds and the pink pearl of her clit.

“Saber…” she whispered longingly. He knew what she was asking for, but he wanted to hear her say it.

“Ask me,” he sent through their link. “Ask me for what you want, amalla.”

“Do I have to?” She looked down at him, biting her lip in consternation.

“You do.” Saber made his mental voice stern. “I need to hear you ask me for what you want. And you need to admit that it’s not wrong to want it.”

“I guess…” She looked at him uncertainly.

“It’s not hard, sweetheart,” Saber said gently. He kissed the inside of her thigh, making her jump and moan breathlessly. “All you have to do is say, ‘Saber, I want you to taste my pussy.’ See? Easy.”

Lissa’s cheeks were bright pink, and her breath was coming fast, her breasts heaving. “I…but I…”

“Do you want me to do it?” Saber growled softly. “Do you want me to lick your sweet juices and put my tongue deep in your sweet little cunt?”

His dirty words seemed to have quite an effect on Lissa. “Yes,” she whispered, almost panting. “Yes, Moch Daer. You know I do.”

“Then say it. Ask for it,” Saber demanded in a low voice. “Do it, Lissa. I want to hear you say it out loud.”

“Saber,” she whispered and then cleared her throat and spoke louder. “Saber, please,” she continued in a trembling voice. “Please, I…I want you to taste me. To taste my…my pussy.”

“Good girl.” Leaning down, he gave her the promised reward—a long, slow lick with the flat of his tongue, starting at the bottom of her slit and ending at the top.

“Oh, Saber,” she nearly wailed, and he felt her slender fingers slip into his hair, tugging urgently, begging for more.

He was more than happy to answer her silent plea. Sending more whisper-tendrils up to slide under her blouse and circle her tight pink nipples, he leaned forward and lapped her again, savoring her rich, delicious taste, getting as much of her honey as he could.

Lissa moaned and bucked up to meet him, her fingers tightening in his hair. She was tugging hard now, but Saber didn’t care, just as he didn’t care when she sometimes left long red scratches on his back during their lovemaking. He wanted to be marked by her love, to see the evidence of their passion the next day. It was a visual affirmation of their commitment, and it also made him damn hot to realize how out of control she could get—how crazy he could make her.

He set to work making her crazy and out of control now. Spreading her thighs even wider, he pressed forward and went to work, thrusting his tongue deep into her tight, wet well, going as deep as he could, showing her exactly how he was going to fuck her later.

Lissa went wild as he worshipped her pussy with his tongue. She cried and called on the Goddess, gripped his hair and scratched at his shoulders. Gone was the demure little priestess who was too shy to stand up for herself. Once they were in the bedroom, she let loose completely, much to Saber’s intense delight.

At last, he tasted fresh wetness and felt her coming against his tongue. He lapped it away eagerly, sucking her sweet folds to get it all, determined not to waste a drop.

And then Lissa was clawing at his shoulder again, whispering urgently through their link that she wanted him, that she needed him inside her.

“Please, Moch Daer,” she sent, her mental voice thick with urgency. “Please, I need you so much.”

“And you’ll have me. But not like this.” Standing up, he flipped her over so that she was face down and then patted her ass. “Get up, amalla,” he muttered hoarsely. “On your hands and knees.”

“Saber?” She looked behind her uncertainly.

Saber stroked her bare ass gently and gave her a reassuring nod. “It’s all right, sweetheart. You know I’d never hurt you.”

“I know.” Lissa pressed back against him, rubbing her soft, naked bottom against the hard bulge in his black trousers until Saber groaned. “I just…don’t think we’ve done it like this before.”

“But we have,” he assured her. “‘I promise I’ll be gentle. Just try to relax.’ Do you remember saying that to me?”

“Oh.” Lissa bit her lip, obviously understanding what he meant. Those had been the words she had used the first time they'd made love, when she had been forced to take him with a silver phallus. The experience had shaken both of them to their foundation and caused some misunderstandings as well, but later they had agreed they wanted to repeat the experience…eventually.

“Remember how you took me?” Saber murmured, getting into position behind her and rubbing the head of his cock against her wet, open pussy. “Remember how you pushed inside me and filled me up?”

“Goddess, Saber!” she whispered, spreading her thighs for him. “That was…it was amazing.”

“I thought so too,” he murmured. Teasingly, he sent a whisper-finger to circle her clit as he pressed just an inch of his cock inside her. “I never felt more open in my life,” he told her. “More fucking vulnerable. And this was part of it—being taken from behind.”

“I…I like it,” Lissa admitted in a broken whisper. “I like feeling this way—feeling vulnerable with you.”

“Because you know I’ll never hurt you.” Gently, he nudged another thick inch into her tight pussy. “Because you know I’ll love you no matter what happens, no matter where we are or what anyone else says.”

“Oh Saber…” She looked over her shoulder, and he saw mingled desire and love in her eyes and felt the same emotions through their link. For a moment, he almost felt in danger of being overcome by the strong feelings of unity and trust tying them together.

“Open yourself for me, Lissa,” he commanded hoarsely. “Give yourself to me completely tonight. I don’t want you to hold anything back—just open yourself and let me fuck you.”

“Yes,” she whispered, lowering her head and spreading her thighs even wider. “Yes, Moch Daer. Take me. Fuck me—I want you to.”

Hearing her beg like that was too much for Saber. With a low groan, he pulled back and pressed all the way into her, entering her pussy completely with one long, deep thrust.

Lissa cried out when he hit bottom inside her and tilted her hips back, obviously trying to get him even deeper—to feel even more.

Gripping her hips, Saber gave her more—gave her all that was in him. He could tell by the lust coming through their link that she wanted him, and when he was sure he wasn’t hurting her, he pounded into her, thrusting as deep and hard as he could, claiming her, owning her in a way that no one else could.

Lissa moaned with each thrust and swayed in the rhythm he had created. Her eyes were clenched shut, and her long hair hung in her face as she gripped the bedspread, trying to keep her balance while Saber fucked into her.

“Moch Daer,” she sent through their link. "Oh Goddess, Saber please…so close…so close…”

“Come for me, then.” Using his Touch sense, he concentrated on caressing her body. His whisper-fingers tugged at her tight nipples, which hung down like ripe fruit as her breasts swayed with the force of his fucking, and his whisper-lips encircled her clit, sucking hard at her sweet, swollen bud, teasing her, pressing her to the edge and beyond.

“Goddess,” Lissa gasped, and Saber felt her pleasure cresting, felt her sweet wet pussy squeezing his shaft like a velvet fist and knew she was coming.

Tightening his grip on her rounded hips, he pressed forward hard, trying to get as deeply into her as he could before shooting his seed. Moaning, Lissa pressed back against him, tilting her hips, offering herself completely to be filled with his cum.

This perfect act of submission was almost too much for Saber. He never wanted to stop, wanted to fill her up until his seed ran out of her well-fucked pussy and slid down her inner thighs, proving that she was his, claiming her again once and for all.

It’s all right, he thought as the pleasure went on and on, stretching out in that golden, glowing, perfect moment of bliss. No matter what happens when we go back to Tarsia, everything is going to be all right between us.

“Yes,” he heard Lissa whisper back and realized that she must have heard his thoughts. “Yes, because I love you. And you love me. And we’re together.”

“Together forever, amalla,” he promised. “No matter what anyone says.”

“Yes,” Lissa whispered again, aloud this time, and then Saber pressed her to her side and cuddled behind her on the bed, holding her tight, letting her know everything would be all right. That no matter what anyone back home thought, they belonged together, and they would never be apart.

The time after love had always been sweet for them, but this time, Saber reluctantly cut it short.

“Mmm…” Lissa moaned in protest when he got out of bed. “Where are you going? It’s the middle of the night.”

“I know it is, but I really need to talk to Reddix.” Saber sighed. “I need to tell him I’ll take back the burden I put on him—tell him the two of us are going back to Tarsia to rule, if they’ll have us.”

Lissa sat up. “They won’t.”

“Probably not. But we at least have to try.”

“Yes,” she said softly. “We’ll try.”

“And that’s what I have to tell Reddix. Maybe…maybe it will lift some of the burden off his shoulders, let him rest a little easier.”

Lissa gave him a sad little smile.

“You truly love him, don’t you?”

“He’s like a brother to me,” Saber said seriously. “And the way he was earlier—you should have seen him, Lissa—he was almost wild. He told me he’d done things…”

“What things?” She frowned.

Saber shook his head. “Never mind. Hopefully, he’ll be able to undo them once he knows he’s not alone in all this. I’m just going to go talk to him, and then I’ll come right back.”

“You promise?” She fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Because I was kind of hoping for a little more love.”

Saber gave her an appreciative growl.

“You’ll have as much as you can handle, I promise you, amalla.” Bending down, he took her mouth in a sweet, hot kiss. “Just let me speak to Reddix, and I’ll be right back.”

“Don’t take too long.” She lay back on the bed and curled up on her side. “It’s lonely in this big bed without you.”

For a moment, Saber wavered. Reddix was staying in the guest quarters—all the way on the other side of the massive Kindred Mother Ship. And Lissa looked so warm and inviting curled in the bed that way. Saber almost put off talking to his friend until the next day, just to stay with her. Then he remembered the wild look on Reddix’s face and the witch’s mark on his wrist.

No, he told himself. This can’t wait. I have to go to him now. Have to give him peace so he can rest and heal.

Kissing Lissa once more, he went out to find his friend and put his mind at ease.

Chapter Six

He was flying—flying over the surface of an alien world he’d never seen before. There was a blue ocean, topped with frothing caps of foam, but he didn’t seem to be headed there. Instead, he saw a land mass growing in his field of vision—a long, thick strip of terrain thrust out into the water like an accusing finger. A peninsula.

“Florida,” he thought to himself, and the name sounded right, although he didn’t know where it had come from.

But he didn’t have time to worry about his sudden inexplicable knowledge for long. He was coming in faster now, flying over the land at alarming speed like a projectile shot from a weapon. Trees and beaches, alien beasts and buildings were all passing by in the blink of an eye. Clearly, he was aiming for something, but what?

“So how are you this week? You seem a little tense.”

Before he could wonder where the voice was coming from, Reddix’s disembodied self was slicing neatly and silently through the roof of a strange building. He caught a glimpse of different rooms as he passed through them. There was a waiting area filled with people sitting on chairs and a pretty girl behind a long rounded counter. Behind that was a series of smaller rooms, each with a padded table in the center. On some of the tables, humans were lying, spread out like dead fish and covered in white sheets. Each of them had an attendant—another human—leaning over them and doing…what were they doing, exactly?

It took Reddix a moment to figure it out, but when he did, he felt a strange mixture of revulsion and hunger. The attendants were touching the ones on the table. Touching them all over, rubbing, caressing, massaging…everywhere he saw bare hands on naked flesh. There was nothing sexual about it—nothing he could see, anyway, but still, the sight was almost more than he could bear. He spent so much time avoiding being touched himself that the idea of someone voluntarily taking off their clothing and letting someone else rub and massage their bare skin made him tremble. And yet…to have that kind of control. To be able to endure someone else’s hands on his body without feeling their emotions, without triggering his RTS to the point of pain and self-loathing…

That’s what I want, he thought, filled with sudden, unwilling longing. Just to be touched without feeling pain. Just to talk to another person and have a normal conversation without having to feel their emotions crawl all over me.

But how stupid was it to wish such a thing? It was impossible…impractical. And it was never going to happen.

“So tight right here. I think I need to hit some trigger points.”

There was that voice again—for some reason it sounded familiar. Suddenly, Reddix found himself hovering over a tiny room near the back of the alien building. He watched what was going on in the room with interest.

Lying on his stomach on the padded table was a large, flabby man with thinning brownish hair.

“Yeah, I’m a little tense, darlin’” he was saying. “Business, you know. We did several multi-million deals this week, and of course, I had to be involved in them all. Had to keep it all running smoothly.”

“Of course,” said the girl bending over him. “That sounds stressful.”

“Well, it is but when you’re the firm’s top earner…”

The flabby man went on in a boastful voice, but Reddix had already tuned him out. He only had eyes for the girl, because now that he saw her, he realized he had seen her before—many, many times.

I’ve been dreaming of her for months, he thought, shocked. Why couldn’t I remember until now?

Looking at her, he couldn’t answer the question. Couldn’t see how in the Seven Hells he could ever forget a face and body like that.

The girl was tall for a female, though she would still be at least a head and a half shorter than him. She was leaning over her client, working intently on his back and neck. Her slender shoulders were hunched, and her head was tucked down so that Reddix couldn’t see her features.

His eyes traveled down her body instead.

She had long black hair with reddish highlights that fell to her curvy waist. Despite her loose uniform smock, he could see she had full hips and a generous heart-shaped ass. Her skin was a warm shade of coppery-brown, which spoke of either hours in the sun or an exotic heritage.

Well, of course she had an exotic heritage—she was an alien, at least to Reddix. Probably, she looked perfectly normal for Earth. He wondered what her face looked like—for some reason, though he knew the girl, he couldn’t quite remember it. If he’d had a proper Touch sense like every other male of his clan, he could have sent a whisper-tendril to trail along the back of her neck and make her move so he could see her. Instead, he had to content himself with willing her to look up.

Finally, she stood up straight, and Reddix caught his breath—or would have if he had been breathing.

She had lovely features—strong for a woman but no less beautiful for all that. Her high cheekbones gave her a striking look, but it was her eyes that really caught his attention. Deep, pure blue with golden flecks, they looked like twin pools filled with sunlight.

Reddix had never seen eyes like hers before, and he found he couldn’t stop looking at them. They stood out in her face, a vivid contrast to her warm, copper skin. They turned her from merely pretty to strikingly beautiful.

And they were filled with anger.

“Please don’t ask me that again, Mr. Witherspoon,” she said tightly, taking a step away from the table. “All the massages we do here at Massage Envy are strictly therapeutic.”

“But come on, Nina, darlin’—what could be more therapeutic than a happy ending?”

A happy ending—what the hell is he talking about? Reddix wondered.

The man turned over on his back suddenly, showing a tent under the white sheet and giving Reddix his answer. He felt a growl rising in his throat—or would have if he’d been there in person. How dare this filthy son of a bitch go near her? How dare he try to touch her like that? Despite his determination to keep himself aloof and distant from the girl, Reddix felt an instant surge of protectiveness. Floating above, watching the scene as a silent, invisible observer, he had never felt more helpless. He could do nothing but watch as the scene unfolded…and it wasn’t nearly over yet.

“I’m sorry but no,” the girl called Nina said firmly. “And if you say anything else about it, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Just a little…” The man reached for her hand. “Come on, sweetie—just a little rub. Just touch it. Just once.”

“No!” Nina yanked her hand away, a disgusted look on her face. “I told you, this isn’t that kind of a place! We’re a national chain, for God’s sake—what’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong is that I need your sweet hands on me.”

“Mr. Witherspoon, this is the last time I’m warning you…”

“All right then.” The man flipped back over onto his stomach with poor grace. “Just finish up.”

From the look on Nina’s lovely face, she would rather have touched a cesspool full of slime. But she simply nodded and went back to work on the man.

“So how is your wife?” she said pointedly. “I met her that time I saw you in the grocery store, remember? She’s really pretty.”

“Not as pretty as you, darlin’.”

“Mr. Witherspoon…”

The man sighed. “You can’t blame me for trying, you know. You’re so gorgeous and sweet and talented. Ah, that’s the spot.” He sighed as she rubbed his lower back. “I always feel better after you work me over. You have the healing touch—you know that, right?”

The scene was beginning to fade, but as he heard the words, Reddix felt a shock that ran all the way through his invisible, incorporeal self.

The healing touch. Can it be? Is she the one? She must be, or I wouldn’t be dreaming of her.

As the dream broke apart and he rushed upward toward consciousness, he knew there was only one way to find out…

But getting off the Mother Ship and down to Earth wasn’t nearly as easy as Reddix had hoped it would be. The docking bay was on the other end of the ship from his guest suite. By the time he finally got there, having to go through a hellish stew of emotions in order to do so—it was nearly forty-five minutes since he’d awoken from his dream.

No dream, he told himself grimly as he strode down the long, echoing corridor of ships to the place where he had parked his own. It was a vision. It was real—the girl is real, and she’s the one who can help me. The only one—I have to get to her!

As if to prove his point, the dream hadn’t faded away like most dreams do, melting away to nothing ten or fifteen minutes after one wakes up. Instead, Nina was as fresh and as clear in his mind as if she was standing right in front of him. Reddix though he could close his eyes and recall her so vividly he’d be able to count the flecks of gold in her deep blue eyes.

He still couldn’t understand why he hadn’t remembered his previous dreams of her. For some reason, though, this one seemed to stick and the others were coming back too. He remembered watching her work in a place filled with brightly colored alien artifacts as well as talking to an ancient little old woman he thought she called “Mejoo” or “Meloo”—something like that. And the more he remembered, the more urgently he wanted to see her live, in the flesh.

But when he got to his ship and put his fingers on the handle, the hatch wouldn’t open.

“What in the Seven Hells?” Reddix muttered, trying again. The hatch was keyed to his prints and should have opened at his lightest touch. He yanked at the unyielding handle and a small beeping noise went off. Looking down, Reddix saw a small message written in glowing green light letters scrolling across the side of his ship beside the handle.

Access denied. You have not been cleared for flight by Commander Sylvan. Access denied.

Reddix cursed furiously and shook the door handle until it rattled, but it did no good. His own ship had been locked against him, and there was no way to override it without Sylvan’s permission—permission he would no doubt refuse to grant when he knew what Reddix wanted to do.

He could just see how his confrontation with the physician would go now—“So you want to go down to a strange planet filled with alien people spewing alien emotions when your RTS is already overloading your system almost to the point of death so you can kidnap an innocent girl and sacrifice her to a witch to cure your affliction? Why certainly, go right ahead.” Reddix snorted. I don’t think so.

But all this sarcasm wasn’t getting him anywhere. More and more he had a feeling of urgency—a tension in his gut that told him Nina was the one he was seeking—the girl with healing hands and a pure heart. He needed to get down to Earth—but how?

Well, if I can’t go in my ship, I’ll take another. Of course, stealing a ship and violating his doctor’s orders probably wasn’t the best way to ingratiate himself with his hosts, but at this point, Reddix didn’t care.

Looking around, he saw a row of patrol shuttles, usually used for transporting prisoners or enemy warriors to and from the Mother Ship. They were general use and so ought to respond to any Kindred warrior’s handprint. Of course, once his print was in the system, it would be clear he’d taken a ship. But only if someone was looking for him. And since Sylvan had ordered him to go to his suite and see no one for a good long time, Reddix estimated he might get a pretty good head start.

Trying to control his impatience, he strolled nonchalantly down to the end of the row, selecting the last ship. It looked dusty from disuse, probably because it was an older model than the others. So much the better—no one would miss it.

Reddix pressed his palm to the silver metal side, and the front hatch slid open soundlessly. He stepped inside and took a quick look around. There were food cubes and a rehydrator, which was good, as well as adequate sleeping arrangements. Clearly the shuttle was meant for long range missions and was equipped accordingly.

But the most useful piece of equipment he found was in a cabinet marked “Restraints” in glowing red letters near the back of the cockpit. Inside were a gleaming pair of copper-colored wrist cuffs with a tiny copper release mechanism, which Reddix pocketed. The cuffs had obviously been made for a Kindred male, but they were adjustable—they should fit Nina nicely. There were gags too, but he hesitated to use one. A hard gag could be dangerous, and he didn’t want to hurt her.

Of course you don’t, whispered a sarcastic little voice in his head. You just want to kidnap her and take her to the swamp witch so she can drain her blood for your own selfish reasons.

Reddix frowned. Can’t think like that. If he didn’t get cured of his RTS, at least enough to father a child on Tilla, his entire damn society was going to crumble into a bloody civil war. He had to push his guilt to the side, push away the awe he’d felt at seeing her beauty, and remember that Nina was nothing to him—nothing but a means to an end.

Settling himself in the pilot’s chair, he strapped in and began the lift-off sequence. Time to get things done.

Chapter Seven

“You have a walk-in client, Nina. I hope that’s okay.” Cherri the front desk receptionist looked up at her appealingly. “I know it’s closing time, but he begged so hard, and besides, he’s really good looking. Seriously, like movie star looks.”

Nina tried to hold back a sigh. Her arms and hands were aching from all the massages she’d given that night. And then that run in she’d had with Mr. Witherspoon…she shivered in disgust at the memory. God, she had to get him banned from Massage Envy or at least make sure he was only allowed to have male masseuses in the future. He’d hinted around about wanting a “happy ending” before, but he’d never been quite so blatant about his desires. Just thinking of what he wanted made Nina feel like she needed a hot shower to wash the slime off.

It’s not forever, she reminded herself. Just until you get into the PA program and get through it. After that, she could use her “healing touch”, as Mr. Witherspoon called it, for actually healing people instead of just rubbing them down.

Not that her massages didn’t do people good, though. She had many clients who came to see her over and over, claiming that she was the only one who could help them. Many of them had chronic pain that no medicine seemed to touch. But after Nina worked on them, they felt better for weeks at a time. So maybe Mehoo-Jimmy was right about her…at least in a way. But it’s silly to think I could take away someone’s pain just by touching them, it’s just that I have good technique…

“Are you mad at me?” Cherri asked in a small voice. “I’m really sorry…”

Nina realized she still hadn’t answered the girl.

“No.” She sighed. “It’s just been a really long day. Let me know before you add one next time, okay?”

“Okay.” Cherri brightened. “But seriously, just wait ‘til you see him. He is so hot. You’re gonna thank me for adding him—you’ll see.”

“I’m sure.” Nina tried to smile. At this point, she was so tired she wouldn’t have cared if it was Ryan Gosling or Brad Pitt naked on her table—she just wanted to go home. But whatever. Just get it done, she told herself. Then you can go take a nice hot bubble bath and eat a big bowl of Special K with strawberries for dinner. She knew she shouldn’t eat carbs at night, but damn it, it had been a rough day. Just this once, she was making an exception.

“I already put him back in your room,” Cherri said, grinning. “And told him to get naked for you.”

“Cherri!” Nina tried to frown but Cherri’s naughty little grin was catching. “You’re lucky Bob has already gone home,” she told the girl, shaking a finger at her. “If he heard you talking like that…” Bob was the manager of Massage Envy and extremely strict.

“I know, I know—we’re a professional place and no talking about the clients.” Cherri sighed. “But seriously, Nina—”

“I know, wait until I see him. Right.” Nina shook her head. “Okay, I’m going to go get him done so we can go home.” She looked at her watch. “Is everyone else gone?”

“Mostly. I think Marie was finishing up in room two, but she may be gone by now.”

Great. So we’re all alone here at nine thirty at night with a new patient. A male patient. Nina frowned. It was against company protocol, but now that Cherri had put the client in a room, there was nothing much they could do about it. She wasn’t really worried, though—this was South Tampa, the most affluent and prestigious part of the Tampa Bay area, so it wasn’t like they had a lot of crime. Still, Cherri was going to have to learn to put a rein on her hormones and not let just any good-looking guy talk his way into having a massage after hours.

“Did he fill out a form?” she asked, looking for a clipboard.

Cherri shook her head. “He just said his arm hurt.”

“Fine. See you in a few.”

“Have fun.” Cherri winked at her. “I hope he fits on your table—he’s a big boy.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Nina nodded and left the reception area. As she made her way down the long, dim hallway, she couldn’t help thinking how quiet it was. Usually you could hear the soft strains of relaxation music and the muted murmur of voices. Now that everyone was gone home, there was just nothing…it was beginning to freak her out a little.

Stop being silly, she told herself. Just go get this last massage done so you can go home.

She stopped in front of room nine, her room, and looked at the closed door. Why did she have such a feeling of unease all of a sudden? Her neck and shoulders were suddenly tight, and the hairs at the back of her neck were prickling with tension.

This is ridiculous. Go in and get it over with.

She shook out her arms and rolled her shoulders to try and ease her tension. After this was over, she was going to need a massage herself!

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped inside, expecting to see her client lying undressed on the table and draped in a sheet. At least, she hoped he’d be draped in a sheet. She hated it when some clients “misunderstood” and forgot to put the sheet on. It was mostly men who did that. Nina didn’t know what they were thinking. No matter how good looking they were, they didn’t need to be lying there naked and sunny side up when she…

The thought died the instant she saw her new client.

“Oh…oh my God,” she whispered, taking a step back.

He wasn’t undressed or lying on the table. He was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, and his face was hidden in shadow.

But still Nina knew him.

It can’t be him. The man from my dreams—it can’t be. Can it?

She peered at him, her heart pounding. Part of her was screaming Run! But the pragmatic part of her brain was telling her not to be silly and unprofessional. True, he was huge and resembled the man she’d been dreaming about. But that has to be just a coincidence because dreams don’t come true, right?

If only the room was lighter so she could get a better look. But the massage rooms were always kept pretty dim to add to the atmosphere of relaxation and help clients who had body issues feel less self-conscious. Not that this guy appeared to have anything to be self-conscious about. Even sitting down, he was the biggest, most muscular man Nina had ever seen. He was built along the lines of a defensive lineman or pro wrestler.

A bear, she heard Mehoo-Jimmy whisper in her head. He’s a bear, eecho…

“Nina?” He shifted slightly, and she saw his eyes flash in the shadows. Were they…silver? Surely that had to be a trick of the light…didn’t it? No human man had silver eyes. For a moment, she wondered if maybe he wasn’t human, but that was silly. Unless he was one of the Kindred…but you almost never saw any of those guys. They stayed up in their ship unless they were coming down to claim some poor helpless girl as their bride.

Well, at least I don’t have to worry about that! Because of her Native American status, Nina was exempted from the “draft” that most other girls had been forced to register for. Knowing that made her feel a little better.

“Um…” Her voice cracked, and she coughed and tried again. “Hello Mr.…” Irritated, she realized that Cherri had forgotten to tell her the client’s name. “I’m sorry, I don’t have your name.”

“Reddix,” he rumbled. His tone was harsh and almost inhumanly deep—more like a growl than a voice. It was also strangely familiar. Had she heard it before? Maybe in her dreams?

Don’t be ridiculous! Do your job!

Nina took a deep breath and tried to steady herself. “All right, Mr. Reddix, well, I’m not sure if Cherri explained to you how this works, but you have to be on the table so I can work on you.” Hearing her own voice going into the professional spiel she used every day helped calm her. “So just undress to the level of your own comfort and lie face down on the table with the sheet across your hips. All right?”

Without waiting for an answer, she turned and started fiddling with the CD player. She took her time, selecting some relaxation music that included wind chimes and the sound of waves breaking on the beach. When she thought she had given him enough time, she turned, expecting to see him on the table.

Instead, he was standing right behind her.

“Oh!” Nina’s heart jumped into her throat, and she stumbled back a step. How long had he been standing there? And how had he moved so quietly that she hadn’t even heard him sneaking up behind her?

“Mr. Reddix,” she said, her voice going high and sharp with fear. “I thought I told you to undress and lie down on the table.”

“I don’t undress for anyone. You’re lucky I took off the hood.” He loomed over her, and though Nina was five foot ten in her stocking feet and nobody’s idea of petite, he made her feel suddenly tiny and frail.

“I…I…” Her brain seemed frozen; she couldn’t think what to say. Looking up at him, she could see that his eyes really were silver. And Cherri had been right about him, he was…beautiful.

It was a strange word to use for a man, but no other word seemed to fit. Now that he was out of the shadows, Nina could see he had the face of a fallen angel—a face so lovely it made her ache just to look at him. She saw a high forehead, a straight nose, and cheekbones any model would kill for, not to mention a full, sensual mouth that looked unhappy, even when he wasn’t speaking. Thick black lashes framed the startling silver eyes, and his cheeks were covered in dark stubble, proving he hadn’t shaved in a while. But it was his hair that caught and held Nina’s attention.

Is it really… blue? It was, a blue so dark it was almost but not quite black. To Nina, who had spent years hanging around the salon where her mother had worked, the color looked real, not dyed. But who had silver eyes and blue hair? Nobody human, that’s who. Now she was certain, he had to be Kindred.

“Look,” she said, backing slowly away in the general direction of the door. “I don’t know who you are or what you want but I’m half Native American—that means I can’t be claimed by a Kindred. I can’t—”

“Who said I was claiming you?” he growled softly.

“Oh, uh…” Nina abruptly felt stupid. Just because he was Kindred didn’t mean he was there to get her. Probably, he just wanted a massage, like any other guy. “I’m sorry. I just thought…never mind.” She took a deep breath. “Well, if you want a massage, you’ll have to get on the table. I can’t, uh, work on you like that.”

“Actually, it’s just my wrist that hurts.” He held out a muscular arm to her, and Nina saw that he had a small black tattoo on the inside of his wrist. It looked kind of like a snake but it was too small to be sure.

“Oh, well…you still have to be on the table.” For some reason, she was reluctant to touch him. Something about that tattoo made her nervous.

“I told you, I don’t get undressed for anyone.” He held out his arm more insistently. “If you could just look at my arm.”

“Well…” Nina didn’t like it, but he was being so insistent she didn’t know what else to do. Pushing aside her fear, she cradled his large hand in her much smaller one.

The minute she touched him, a strange shock of electricity seemed to go through her. It traveled up her arm and straight to her heart, making her feel like someone had just used a defibrillator on her.

“Oh my God!” She tried to pull back, but the man suddenly had her by the wrist. His silver eyes widened as he looked down at her.

“How?” he demanded hoarsely. “How are you doing that?”

“D-doing what?” Nina stuttered.

“I can’t feel you.” He shook his head. “Or the girl up front. She’s completely muted all of a sudden—I can’t feel a thing!”

“What are you talking about? You’re touching me right now.” Nina twisted in his grip, but he was much too strong for her, and she couldn’t get away. “Let me go!”

“Not until I make sure.” He pulled her closer and forced their hands together, pressing her palm closer and closer to the small black tattoo on his inner wrist.

“No,” Nina gasped. For some reason, the prospect of touching that small, black snake frightened her even more than being attacked by a huge alien warrior. A strange thought ran through her brain: If I touch it there’s no going back.

And then the center of her palm made contact with the snake tattoo, and a sharp pain like she’d been stuck with a needle pierced through her.

“Ow! What the hell is wrong with you? You stuck me!” Nina tried to yank away again, but his hold on her was too tight.

“I knew it—you are the one.” He was staring at his wrist, and Nina saw to her horror that the strange tattoo had somehow changed colors. It was red now—blood red. And was it…bigger? How could that be?

“The one what? Let me go!” she demanded, her voice trembling. “Leave now, and I might not call the police.”

“You’re not calling anyone. You’re coming with me.”

Without warning, he lifted her with one arm as though she weighed no more than a kitten and slung her over one broad shoulder.

Then, despite her kicking and screaming, he carried her right out the door.

Chapter Eight

“Reddix? Are you all right?” Saber walked carefully into the dark guest suite, mindful of what had happened the last time he saw his friend. He knew Saber was on edge and didn’t want to overload his system again. Goddess, it was awful how his best friend had gone downhill, but Saber wasn’t surprised if his RTS was getting worse.

“Reddix?” he called again, tensed to see his friend’s silver eyes somewhere in the darkness. But only silence greeted his call.

I shouldn’t even be in here. I should leave him alone like Sylvan said to.

But he hadn’t been able to bear the guilt he was feeling a moment longer. He needed to tell his friend again how sorry he was. And to shoulder the responsibility that should have been his all along.

Saber didn’t want to go back to Tarsia, didn’t want to face the censure his decision to be with Lissa would cause. But he had to. It had been wrong to assume that Reddix could take over as the next Clan Overlord, wrong to put that burden on him without asking how he felt about it.

At least Lissa will be with me, Saber thought. She doesn’t like it any more than I do, but she’s still willing to go. If only my family could look past our kinship status and see what a wonderful female she is.

But they would never do that. All his mother and father and the rest of the clans would see was that he and Lissa were of the same clan and so technically brother and sister, though there was no blood tie between them. They would probably reject Saber as soon as he announced he had married his amalla and had no intention of leaving her. The taboo he and Lissa were breaking was so ingrained in his people that they would no doubt view him with disgust.

But I have to try. And Lissa will have to try with me. It was almost more than he could stand—he loved Lissa with all his heart, and he didn’t want to cause her this kind of pain and anguish. But after what had happened with Reddix, he didn’t see that he had any choice.

Speaking of Reddix, where was he?

“Reddix?” he called again, going into the sleeping chamber. “Reddix, it’s me—we need to talk. I need to tell you…”

But the words died on his lips—the room was empty. The bed looked rumpled as though Reddix had slept on it, and his case with a few changes of clothes was open on the floor, but the male himself was nowhere to be seen.

Swiftly, Saber searched the rest of the suite, but Reddix wasn’t there. Where could he have gone? Sylvan had put him under strict orders to stay in the suite and rest—why would Reddix get up and leave without telling anyone he was going?

Maybe he decided he couldn’t stand it here on the Mother Ship anymore with all the strange emotions. Maybe he left. But Sylvan said he had his ship locked down. So how would he manage? He didn’t have an answer for that, but he didn’t really need one—Reddix had always been a resourceful bastard. If he wanted to do something, he would find a way to do it. Even if it meant going against his doctor’s orders.

Suddenly, the last conversation he’d had with Reddix rang in his head.

“…don’t worry, I’m not running straight back to Tarsia yet. I have some unfinished business right here on that little blue-green ball of rock all our Kindred Brothers seem so fucking taken with.”

“On Earth?” Saber said. “What do you want there?”

“It’s not what—it’s who.”

Saber frowned and headed for the door. It was time to ask if anyone had seen Reddix hanging around the docking bay and check to see if any ships were missing.

He hoped he was wrong, but Saber had a bad feeling about where his friend had gone and what exactly he had gone to do. What price had the swamp witch demanded for her services? And why had she sent Reddix to Earth? He couldn’t be acclaiming a bride—without a proper Touch sense he could never bind one to him. So then what was he going to do? And who was he going to see?

Saber didn’t know, but he was going to find out.

Chapter Nine

She put up a hell of a fight—Reddix gave her that. She screamed bloody murder and beat at his back with her little fists as she tried to twist free. He was having none of that, though—he had her now, and he wasn’t taking any chances on letting her go. He gripped her tightly, keeping her captive despite her struggles.

He’d already ascertained that the place was empty except for the girl at the front so he left by the front door with Nina over his shoulder. The receptionist—Cherri, Nina had called her—was also screaming and punching numbers into a communications device. Reddix assumed she was calling some kind of authority figure or peacekeeper, but it didn’t matter. His ship, which transformed neatly into a good approximation of an Earth vehicle, was parked in the lot just outside. Before they could get anywhere near him, he would be halfway out of Earth’s atmosphere and headed far away.

The one thing he could be thankful for was that despite Nina’s struggles, he couldn’t feel any of her emotions. Reddix didn’t know what to attribute that to—or the fact that he hadn’t been able to feel her or the girl up front when he touched Nina’s bare skin. Maybe it had something to do with the Earth’s atmosphere, or maybe it was a temporary short in his own system. He’d had that before once or twice, when he had been subjected to so many emotions it had overloaded his system, resulting in a temporary numbness. It would pass—it always did. And then he would be back in the middle of a hellish stew of emotions again, feeling everything that everyone felt around him and helpless to stop it.

Reddix knew the condition wouldn’t last, but for right now, he was damn grateful for the temporary reprieve. If he’d had to feel Nina’s fear crawling all over him, taste her panic at the back of his throat, he wasn’t sure he could have gotten through the kidnapping. As it was, he felt like he’d suddenly gone deaf—emotionally anyway. There was nothing wrong with his actual hearing—he could hear the girl, Nina, screaming in his ear just fine, and it was beginning to get on his nerves.

“You can’t do this!” she gasped as he shoved her into the passenger side seat and attempted to belt the harness in place despite her flailing limbs. “You can’t do this, let me go!”

“I am doing it, and I’m not going to stop so you might as well shut up and sit still,” he growled, fighting to get the harness in place.

“No!” She beat her small fists against his shoulders and fishtailed her body, very nearly slithering out of the harness and into the floor of the ship.

Reddix let the harness go and grabbed her shoulders, shoving her back against the seat. He leaned in close to her face and glared at her.

“Hold…still.”

Her blue eyes flashed defiance.

“Right. Hold still so you can take me away somewhere in your weird Kindred ship and rape me and kill me? I don’t think so.”

She started struggling again, even more than before. In the distance, Reddix could hear some kind of siren wailing…and it was getting closer. He had an idea it had something to do with the girl behind the desk calling for help. Time was running short, and he was out of options.

“Fine,” he growled. “I didn’t want to do this, but you’ve forced me.”

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the metal wrist restraints and slapped them onto her slim wrists. They were too loose, and she started trying to wriggle out of them at once. With a muttered curse, Reddix pulled out the locking mechanism and pressed a button to tighten the restraints. The unbreakable metal immediately molded to her wrists, becoming snug enough that no escape was possible. There was absolutely no getting out of them—not without chopping off her hands, and he didn’t think she’d be willing to go quite that far to get free.

Nina stared at her cuffed wrists for a moment and seemed to realize that the restraints were completely escape-proof. She took a deep breath and started to scream again.

“Help! Help me! This man is kidnapping me. Help!”

Reddix finally lost it. He was still on the ragged edge and the desperate fear in her blue eyes bothered him more than he liked to admit. The guilt that threatened to overwhelm him made him angry.

“Goddess damn it, shut up!” he roared right in her face.

Nina went abruptly pale and stopped screaming. She shrank back from him, turning her head away, trying to get as far from his threatening form as she could.

Reddix felt his heart twist. This wasn’t how he had imagined meeting her for the first time. But what other option did he have? He couldn’t exactly introduce himself and ask if she would mind going with him to a distant planet in another galaxy so she could act as a sacrifice for an evil witch. It was kidnapping or nothing.

Ignore her. She’s just a package to be delivered, he ordered himself as he buckled her in, securing the harness at last. But he still felt a sharp stab of guilt as he slammed her door closed and went around to get into the driver’s side.

The sirens were getting louder, and Reddix saw flashing red and blue lights in the distance as he started the ship. They lifted off just as two official looking vehicles skidded to a halt in front of them. Their doors popped open, and two human males—puny looking creatures not nearly as tall as a Kindred warrior—jumped out.

“This is the police,” shouted one of the males.

“Help!” Nina leaned against the passenger side door and scrabbled at the handle. It would do her no good, of course. Reddix had taken the precaution of keying all the doors specifically to his own prints. But still, she tried. “Help me!” she begged again, looking down at the rapidly receding ground.

One of the human males lifted his arm and pointed something at the ship—some kind of weapon, Reddix thought.

“Let the girl go, or I’ll shoot!” he warned, his voice getting fainter as the ship gained altitude.

Reddix was tempted to laugh. As if any of their puny Earth weapons could hurt a Kindred ship! As if—

His thoughts were cut off as the human male squeezed his weapon and pointed at Reddix’s side of the ship. There was a loud bang and something hit the side of the ship.

Reddix jumped in surprise. Then bang, bang, bang… Whoever the human male was, he was a damn good shot, Reddix had to grudgingly admit. He was no longer quite so sure that the human weapon couldn’t harm his ship. The projectiles it was firing whined as they grazed the metal hull. A direct hit in a vulnerable spot might cause damage after all.

As if to prove him right, there was another bang, and the ship dipped and swerved, nearly yanking the steering yoke out of Reddix’s hands.

Nina screamed breathlessly, her bound hands going to her throat.

Reddix fought with the steering yoke and wrestled the ship into submission. A few more distant bangs sounded, but the projectiles passed them by harmlessly. The ship was still gaining altitude and was finally out of range of the human weapons. Out of range but not out of danger. He didn’t like the mushy way the controls responded to him or the way he had to fight to make the yoke turn when he wanted to correct his course.

“Goddess damn it,” he cursed under his breath as he manhandled the yoke. The ship was definitely damaged, but how much and how seriously, he had no way of knowing. The smart thing to do would be to set down somewhere to examine it and run a complete diagnostic. That, of course, was impossible. He couldn’t set back down on Earth, and he couldn’t go back to the Mother Ship either—not with Nina screaming to everyone they saw that she had been kidnapped and taken against her will. No, his only option was to keep going and hope he could make it to the wormhole that led to Tarsia.

“They hurt your ship, didn’t they?”

Her voice surprised him, and Reddix looked over to see Nina staring at him, a bleak, shocked look on her face. There were tears standing in her big blue eyes—tears he had put there. Again, Reddix felt a stab of guilt, and again, he pushed the emotion savagely away. If he was going to do this, to carry through with his mission, he had to forget about his own feelings and hers and just keep going.

“The bullets hit it when the cops shot your ship,” she went on. “Too bad they didn’t hit you.” She sounded like she might start crying, but there was defiance in her tone as well. It still felt strange to hear the emotion in her voice without feeling it on his skin. Reddix wondered absently how much longer this period of numbness would last before he was treated to the full blast of her emotions.

“Yeah, well, they didn’t,” he growled, keeping his eyes straight ahead as he continued to fight with the controls. “Now be quiet so I can concentrate on flying this damn thing.”

“Oh yes, just shut up and let you abduct me,” she said bitterly. “Just sit here quietly like a good little girl so you can take me somewhere to rape and torture me before you cut me into pieces and feed me into the wood chipper—or whatever alien equivalent you Kindred have.”

Reddix spared a moment from the mushy controls to glance at her.

“That’s the second time you mentioned rape,” he said, frowning. “Let me tell you, you’ve got nothing to worry about there. I couldn’t take you against your will, even if I wanted to—which I don’t. I’m not that kind of male.”

Her eyes widened, then narrowed.

“Right. You’re not that kind of guy. You’re just the kind who comes in and kidnaps some helpless girl you don’t even know—”

“I know you, Nina,” he said shortly. “And you know me too. Don’t try to deny it.”

“But I don’t…I’ve never seen you out…outside of my dreams.” Her voice faltered, and some of the defiance left her eyes to be replaced by fear and confusion. “Mehoo said you were a bear—an animal that hides its face.”

Thinking of the way he always hid his face with his hood, Reddix laughed harshly.

“That’s a fucking apt description. Guess your Mehoo was right about me.”

Nina was silent for a moment, which gave him time to concentrate on flying. The little ship kept wanting to roll off course, and Reddix kept having to yank on the steering yoke to correct it. They were coming to the upper limits of the atmosphere now, though. Once they cleared the Earth’s gravitational pull and got out into space, flying ought to be easier. He hoped, anyway.

At last, she spoke again. “Why did you take me? If you’re not intending to…to assault me, then why? Are you claiming me as your Bride? Because I told you, I can’t be claimed—I’m Native American.”

“Got no interest in making you my bride,” Reddix growled. “Got no personal interest in you at all. This is strictly business.”

“They why—”

Suddenly, the comlink crackled to life.

“Reddix? This is Commander Sylvan. You are in direct violation of my orders. I want you back at the Mother Ship now.”

There was cold steel in the Tranq Kindred’s voice and Reddix could tell he was pissed. Damn it! He’d been sure he would have more of a head start. Now he had both the Earth authorities and his Kindred brothers on his tail. Could anything else go wrong?

“Come back to the Mother Ship at once,” Sylvan demanded again.

“Sorry, Commander, can’t do it,” Reddix said evenly as the little ship shot out into clear space. As he had hoped, steering was suddenly much easier, and he breathed a small sigh of relief.

Nina leaned forward, staring hopefully at the comlink.

“Hello? Can you hear me? My name is Nina Kerrick, and this man is abducting me against my will. Please, help me!”

A new voice suddenly came onto the comlink.

“Reddix? What did you do? Who is that girl?” Saber demanded.

“She’s the one,” Reddix said shortly. “The one I need.”

“What do you need her for?” Saber asked. “For Xandra? It’s all lies, Reddix! She lies!”

“She does what she promises as long as you pay,” Reddix shot back. “And you left me no choice, Saber—I have to pay, no matter how steep the price is.”

As he spoke, the little ship shot past the Earth’s single moon where the Kindred Mother Ship was orbiting and headed out into deep space. Reddix knew exactly where he was going—the wormhole that led to his home galaxy. The minute he got through it, he was going straight to Tarsia. He’d have Nina at the swamp witch’s hut in less time than it took the Kindred Mother Ship to mobilize and send out ships to go after him. By the time they reached him, the deal would be done. As to what Xandra would do to Nina…he didn’t let himself think about that.

The witch promised she would be all right…probably, he tried to reassure himself uneasily. Anyway, I can’t think of her. I have to think of Minda, already big with child. If a civil war breaks out…

“Think what you’re doing,” Saber cut into his grim thoughts, but his voice was getting fainter and fainter as Reddix’s ship pulled farther away. “You don’t have to do this, Reddix.”

“Yes, I do. You left me no choice,” he shot back.

“Please,” Nina pleaded, leaning toward the comlink. “Please, he has me in some kind of handcuffs and I’m strapped to the seat—I can’t get out. I’m scared.”

Reddix felt his heart twist again. Gods, he had never wanted to frighten her so. Although, how he could kidnap her without scaring her to death, he had no idea.

“Reddix,” Saber shouted, but his voice was so faint now Reddix could barely hear it. They were getting closer to the edge of the wormhole, which interfered with reception. “Reddix,” he shouted again. “Come back! Lissa and I have agreed we’re going to…”

But the rest of the sentence was a blur of static. Whatever his friend had been saying was lost—not that it mattered. Even if Saber had been declaring his intention to go back and rule the Touch Kindred Clans with Lissa at his side, Reddix would still have continued with his mission. There was no way in all the Seven Hells the Clans would take him back with Lissa as his bride, and if Saber thought any differently, he was deluding himself.

“What happened?” Nina demanded. “Did you shut him off?”

“Did you see me touch the comlink?” Reddix growled. “The wormhole interferes with reception. And we were getting out of range anyway.”

“Wormhole?” Nina’s eyes grew wide. “Isn’t that like a black hole? Where the gravity is so strong it tears everything to pieces? Please tell me you’re not taking us in one of those.”

“It’s not exactly like a black hole,” Reddix said, frowning. “It’s a portal—a gateway to another part of the universe. Don’t worry, as long as I keep the ship steady, we’ll be fine.”

“Is…is that it?” Nina’s voice was soft with fear. On the viewscreen, the wormhole had appeared—a tunnel of blue light wavering in space that twisted away an unimaginable distance. As they approached, it grew huge, taking up the entire screen.

“That’s it,” Reddix said shortly.

As he spoke, he began to feel the pull of the wormhole on the ship. To his dismay, the steering yoke became instantly harder to move. Reddix struggled with it, the muscles in his arms bulging. Damn it, why hadn’t he thought of this? He’d been too caught up in worrying about how frightened Nina was of him to think clearly. If he wasn’t careful, he’d kill them both.

The ship began to rock as it was sucked closer and closer to the wormhole.

“What’s happening?” Nina sounded panicked. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. We’re fine,” Reddix grated. “Just be quiet and let me concentrate.”

She sat white faced and silent as he guided them in. The big muscles of his arms ached with the effort of holding the ship steady as they passed into the twisting blue vortex of light.

Then the wormhole grabbed them and yanked them through.

Chapter Ten

Nina was too frightened to even scream as the little ship dived into the swirling blue maw of the wormhole. Despite the man who had abducted her saying they would be fine, she didn’t believe him. She could see his arms bunching, the muscles under his skin twisting like pythons as he fought to keep the ship on track. There was a fierce concentration in his hooded silver eyes, and his face was twisted into a sneer of effort.

I’m going to die now, she thought numbly as the brilliant blue light swallowed them whole and the ship began to rock and shake. This is how it ends. Being kidnapped by an alien lunatic I’ve only seen in my dreams and torn apart in space by a freaking cosmic phenomenon. It was so bizarre it would have been funny if she hadn’t been too afraid to laugh.

The ship began shaking even harder, and it felt like something had hit its side. Nina didn’t hear any metallic clangs like she had when the bullets hit, but it jerked hard and then started to wobble all over the place. Her stomach lurched up in her throat, and for a moment, she was sure she would throw up. I’ve never liked rollercoasters, she thought inanely. Not even the Scooby Doo coaster at Lawrey Park.

The man who had taken her was swearing steadily under his breath—sometimes in English and sometimes in some other, guttural language that sounded alien and strange. Nina wanted to ask him what was going on, but she didn’t dare distract him from his task. He looked like he needed all his concentration to keep them from flying right into the wormhole’s walls.

You should distract him, a sour little voice in her head whispered. It would be better to die out here—quicker, cleaner—than to go through whatever it is he probably has planned for you.

The voice was almost certainly right, but Nina remained silent. Honestly at this minute, she was afraid if she opened her mouth she was going to puke. So she kept her teeth clamped together and her lips shut, struggling with herself, hoping she didn’t have to spend her last few minutes of life throwing up.

Then, as suddenly as they had entered it, they shot out of the wormhole…and straight at the side of a large purple planet.

“Shit!” her abductor growled and then repeated the sentiment in his harsh alien language.

“What’s happening?” Nina’s voice sounded curiously calm and detached in her own ears. “Why are we headed straight for that purple world?”

“Gravitational pull,” he said, answering her to her surprise. “The steering system is shot, and the thrusters seem to be too.”

“Then what’s…what’s going to happen?” Nina asked.

He spared her a quick glance. “We’re going to crash, sweetheart,” he growled. “That’s what’s going to happen. Better brace for impact.”

“Oh my God,” Nina whispered. She was pinned back against her seat by the incredible G-force of the ship hurtling toward the ground, and her chest felt tight and heavy like an elephant was standing on it—she could hardly breathe. She wished she could at least close her eyes so she didn’t have to see her impending doom, but the side of the purple planet loomed larger and larger in the screen in front of her, and she found herself powerless to look away.

Mehoo, she thought as a huge violet landmass came up to meet them, Who will bring you your favorite hamburger now? Who will learn to make your healing medicine? I’m sorry, so sorry I didn’t learn more…

Suddenly, everything went blue as currents of strange blue-green gel foamed out of the console in front of her. Nina looked around wildly—it seemed to be coming from everywhere.

Oh my God! What the hell? Apparently, she wasn’t going to die in the crash after all—she was going to drown in blue gel instead. The view of the purple planet rushing up to meet them took on the look of a strange, underwater landscape. The gel had covered Nina’s mouth and was almost up to her nose. She couldn’t even swim to get away—her hands were cuffed, and she was bound to her seat.

Going to die! Going to die, going to die! screamed the voice in her head.

There was a crunching noise, and she felt her head jerk forward and knock against something that was soft at first and then hard. She took one last breath of air, lifting her chin frantically to rise above the seething gel…and then everything went dark.

When she woke up, the cabin was bathed in a sickly greenish light and her head was pounding. The view outside the windshield-like screen at the front of the ship showed only darkness and vague purple humps that might have been hills or haystacks or simply shadows.

At first, Nina couldn’t remember where she was or what she was doing there. Her last memory was of telling Mr. Witherspoon she absolutely would not give him a “happy ending” for his massage. How the hell had she ended up here, strapped to a seat with her hands cuffed and her head aching?

Then it all came rushing back—the man from her dream, the one with a shadowed face and burning silver eyes…the way he had abducted her and shot them both into space…the crazy, nausea-inducing trip through the wormhole in the wobbling ship and the crash landing on the vast purple planet.

But everything turned blue right before the crash. I thought I was going to drown. Was that my imagination?

Nina blinked and looked around. No, she hadn’t imagined it. There were still clumps of blue gel clinging to the console and puddles of it on the floor at her feet but it seemed to be melting even as she watched. Maybe it was some kind of cushioning system—the Kindred version of an airbag in case of collision. Nina could still feel the sticky remains of it on her cheeks.

She lifted her hands instinctively to wipe it off and remembered afresh that she was cuffed and helpless. Looking at the copper-colored cuffs that seemed to have molded themselves to her wrists made her think of her captor—where was he?

Looking to her left, Nina saw that the pilot’s chair was empty. Had he left her? Abandoned her in the wrecked ship while she was helpless and unconscious? The bastard! Where the hell had he gone? Nina wriggled in the tight harness, filled with righteous indignation. But then, by craning her head around the side of her seat and looking over her shoulder, she saw him at last.

He was slumped in a sitting position in the narrow walkway behind the cockpit area. His head was sunk on his broad chest, his face hidden by his shaggy dark blue hair, and his hands dangled limply between his spread legs.

The sight gave Nina a sudden chill—he looked like a marionette whose strings had been cut. She couldn’t be sure if he was breathing or not, and a strange squeezing feeling began in her chest. Part of her was glad he’d been injured and possibly killed in the crash—at least now he couldn’t hurt her or do whatever horrible thing he’d had planned for her.

But if he’s dead, you’re trapped. Marooned on an alien planet in another part of the universe miles—no—light years—from Earth. How will you ever get back?

It was a good question, and as Nina considered it, she felt panic rising in her chest, filling her throat like dry cotton until she couldn’t breathe…couldn’t think…

I need to check on him. Need to see if he’s okay or not. She scrabbled frantically at the side of the tight harness, but the alien locking mechanism defied her suddenly clumsy fingers. Trapped—she was trapped and couldn’t get out.

“Hey,” she shouted at him—or tried to shout, anyway. Her voice came out in a tight little whisper instead. She cleared her throat and tried again. “Hey—are you okay, Mr.…uh, Reddix? Come over here and let me out of this thing!”

There was no response.

“Oh God…Oh my God…” Nina heard herself mumbling.

Suddenly, it was as though Meehoo Jimmy was whispering in her ear.

Slowly, eecho—take a deep breath. Going crazy won’t help you now. You have to be calm.

Yes. Calm. Nina took a deep breath, following her Meehoo’s advice. She had to stay calm if she was ever going to get out of this mess. She closed her eyes for a long minute and put her head down, concentrating on breathing. When she opened them, something between her feet caught her eyes. Something with the same dull, coppery sheen as the cuffs around her wrist.

The key thingy! Excitement shot through her. If she could get her hands on the key to her cuffs, she was halfway to being free.

The difficulty was getting it. The harness she was in wasn’t like an ordinary seatbelt—it had a lap belt and two thick straps crisscrossed over her shoulders and chest in an X. These straps seemed to have tightened during the impact—so much so that Nina could barely breathe. She wiggled around a little, and they loosened some—but not enough to slide out of the harness altogether. She felt for the locking mechanism on the side again with no luck, though she had the maddening feeling that if she’d just had both hands free she could have figured it out.

Finally, she decided the best thing would be to try and get the small copper key-thing with her feet. Blessing the weekly yoga class she always made time for, Nina managed to grip the small device, which was about the size and shape of a lighter, between the rubber soles of her tennis shoes. Raising her feet carefully until she felt like her hips might pop out of their sockets, she was able to snag the copper mechanism with two fingers.

She almost dropped it at that point, but somehow, after a moment a frantic cursing, she managed to juggle it back into her palm. She gripped it tight, being careful not to press any buttons, and sent a silent prayer of thanks. Step one completed—she was halfway to being free.

Her first impulse was to start pushing buttons, but Nina forced herself to stop and study the device carefully instead. After all, what if she pushed the wrong button and the cuffs tightened so much they cut her hands off?

As it turned out, the copper key looked like a very simple device. There were only two buttons on it. The top one glowed a soft blue, and the bottom one glowed red. Taking a deep breath, Nina pressed the top one.

She was all ready to push the red one in case the cuffs started tightening, but she was pleasantly surprised. With a soft hiss, the cuffs abruptly opened, freeing her hands instantly.

“Thank God!” Nina whispered under her breath. She rubbed her wrists for a moment even though the strange alien handcuffs had left no marks on her—no cuts or bruises. She wasn’t even chafed from wearing them. All the same, she was extremely glad to get them off.

Once the copper cuffs were off, the locking mechanism of the harness proved to be a snap. Literally—it made a snapping sound when Nina finally released it. She drew a deep breath of relief when the X-shaped harness slid away.

Standing up, she tried to get the pins and needles out of her fingers and toes.

“You are now free to move about the cabin,” she muttered to herself and had to smother a giggle that rose in her throat and popped like a soap bubble. God, what was wrong with her? She felt positively giddy with relief in being free but how free was she, really? True, her captor was out of the running—injured or possibly dead—but she was still marooned on an alien planet light years from her home.

Stop giggling like a fool, eecho, she heard Mehoo-Jimmy scold. And get busy finding out where you are and how you’re going to get home.

Right. She needed to check on Reddix—what an odd name, but then, he wasn’t exactly a normal guy—and see if the only person who knew how to fly the ship was dead or just incapacitated. Taking a breath to calm her nerves, Nina stepped toward him.

Even slumped down as he was, he was still huge—like a mountain of muscle at rest. She found her heart was pounding in her ears as she got closer to him. What if he was putting on an act? Waiting for her to get close enough that he could grab her and strap her down again?

Slowly, she reached for him, meaning to check for a pulse. But her fingers lingered just above the strong column of his neck, unable to make contact. There was something about him—something that made her reluctant to touch him. It wasn’t just the electric shock she remembered from their first contact—it was the way he smelled. A warm, deep, masculine musk that seemed to invade her senses until she felt almost dizzy. That scent brought back every strange dream she’d had of him—along with the strangely entwined sensations of dread and desire that had accompanied them.

She stood there hovering over him so long she got a sharp cramp in her back from bending over. Putting a hand to her lower back with an angry little cry, she massaged fiercely.

This is stupid. Stop being such a coward and just do it!

Leaning down again, she forced herself to press the pads of her first two fingers to the side of his neck, feeling for the carotid pulse. Except…did Kindred have carotid arteries? Apparently they did because after a moment, she felt his pulse, strong and steady and slow, as though he was simply asleep.

Feeling braver, she pushed his head back carefully until it rested against the cabinet type panel behind him. He didn’t even stir—just kept breathing slowly and evenly with his eyes closed. Hmm. Bolder than ever, Nina pushed his shaggy dark blue hair out of his face and looked at him—really looked at him—for the first time since he had abducted her.

He had a cut above his left eye that looked nasty—it was going to leave a scar, which was a shame with a face like his. The blood had trickled down the side of his cheek along his strong jawline, which was badly in need of a shave.

But even the ugly wound couldn’t diminish the perfection of his features. Nina bit her lip as she stared at him. Her first assessment had been right—he really was almost inhumanly gorgeous. With a face like this and his huge, muscular body, he could have any woman he wanted. So then, why had he bothered to kidnap her? It couldn’t be for her looks—Nina knew she was pretty in a girl-next-door kind of way, but she was nowhere near beautiful enough to match this man. Honestly, she didn’t know if anyone was. He’d said something about her being the one he needed though, back when he was shouting at the other guy on the ship’s radio—what could a man who looked like this possibly need from her?

Suddenly, Nina realized she was just standing there staring at his perfect face and that she had been for a long time.

Everyone said Ted Bundy was handsome and personable too, and he was a serial killer. Gorgeous or not, this Reddix guy is still a kidnapping bastard, she reminded herself sternly. One who might wake up at any minute and continue with his evil plan—whatever it is.

Right. So she needed to do something about that before he woke up.

Nina considered her options—should she run for it? But how did she know the planet outside the ship had a breathable atmosphere? Or what if it was too cold or too hot or all the local vegetation turned out to be horribly poisonous? Nina had watched enough of the old Star Trek episodes with Mehoo-Jimmy to be wary of stepping foot on an unexplored world. Also, the farther she got from the ship, the farther she got from any chance she had of ever going home. So trying to find a way off the ship and running was out of the question.

Option two was to just stay here and wait for Reddix to wake up. But he was so much bigger and stronger than her that Nina was sure she’d be right back where she started—cuffed and tied to a chair—the minute he opened his eyes. Unless…

Her eyes went to the spot above his head where a long silver bar ran. He had collapsed in what appeared to be the kitchen area of the ship. At least, there were a lot of cabinets, a sink, and a machine that looked something like a microwave mounted on the wall above his head. The bar, which ran the length of the countertop, appeared to be fixed very firmly in place. Maybe it was something to hang on to if you were cooking in the kitchen and the ship happened to hit a pocket of turbulence or go through a wormhole or crash land on an unknown purple planet…ha ha.

Whatever its actual use was, Nina could immediately see an alternative application. Running back to her chair, she grabbed the abandoned copper cuffs and brought them back to where the big Kindred was still slumped like a gorgeous Raggedy Andy doll.

Raggedy Andy is right, she thought as she raised one of his hands above his head. He really needs a shave and a haircut. Still, maybe personal grooming was last on his to-do list at the moment. Apparently, kidnapping Nina and dragged her through a wormhole took precedence over getting that clean, close shave all the ladies loved.

Getting his arms up and cuffed to the rail above his head wasn’t easy. Reddix was big and muscular, which equaled pretty damn heavy, especially when he was knocked out, and the parts she was trying to lift were dead weight. Twice his eyelids fluttered, revealing glimpses of those disturbing pale silver eyes—and once he said something that sounded like her name. Nina nearly jumped away that time, but somehow she kept her nerve and kept working. It helped that she had pretty good upper body strength from years of doing massage.

She was careful, throughout the procedure, not to touch the strange little snake tattoo on his inner wrist. The thing was blood red, as it had been after he touched her with it, and Nina could swear it was larger somehow. But that wasn’t possible, was it? Tattoos didn’t grow. Whatever the case, she made damn sure she didn’t so much as brush it while she was fastening the cuffs around his wrists.

Finally, she had his hands secured above his head with the cuffs threaded through the silver bar. It didn’t look like a very comfortable position, but Nina reminded herself that being cuffed and harnessed to the chair up front hadn’t been exactly comfortable either. She pushed the red button on the locking-device with a clear conscious—well, almost—and watched with satisfaction as the cuffs snugged down around his wrists. Then she dropped the little locking device into the front pocket of her dark blue scrubs.

“There,” she said, standing back and putting her hands on her hips. “Just try and get out of that, you kidnapping son of a bitch.”

Reddix chose that moment to open his eyes.

“Nina,” he said thickly. “What in the Seven Hells is going on? Where are we?”

Chapter Eleven

“I have no idea where we are,” she said tartly. “All I know is that it’s the same big purple planet you crashed us into as soon as we got out of the wormhole. God…” She put a hand to her head. “That sounds so crazy when I say it out loud. This can’t be real—it must be just another nightmare I’m having about you, and I’m going to wake up any time. Right?”

“It’s real enough,” Reddix growled. He was still dizzy, but he was beginning to feel more alert now. His head was throbbing, and there was a burning pain above his right eyebrow. He started to put up a hand to touch it…and realized his hands were already up and he couldn’t get them back down. Looking up, he saw he was cuffed securely to the food prep area’s side bar with the same restraints he’d used on Nina.

“Yeah, that’s right,” she said, following his eyes. “Shoe’s on the other foot now. How do you like it, big guy?”

He had no idea why she was talking about shoes and feet when it was his hands she had cuffed above his head—it must be some kind of Earth idiom. Like all Kindred, he had a natural talent for languages, but though he’d picked up English easily enough in the short time he’d stayed aboard the Mother Ship, many of the strange Earth sayings still eluded him.

“Not fucking funny,” he growled, rattling the cuffs. “Let me go.”

“Why? So you can continue kidnapping me and doing…whatever else it was you had planned?” She shivered and shook her head. “I don’t think so, buddy. I’m in charge—from now on what I say goes.”

Reddix raised an eyebrow at her. “So that’s it—that’s your plan? You’re just going to keep me cuffed to the food prep counter?”

“For now.” She folded her arms over her chest, pulling the dark blue top she had on tight over her full breasts in a way Reddix found entirely too distracting.

“I don’t think you understand, sweetheart,” he said, forcing himself to look away from her chest and glare at her face instead. “We’re trapped here—marooned on what might be a very hostile planet. I need to get out of these restraints if I’m ever going to assess the damage to the ship and make repairs. Hell—you don’t even know how to trip the emergency beacon.”

“Like you would send a signal for help if I let you out,” she scoffed. “You were running away from my people and yours.”

She had him there. Reddix glared at her some more. “Fine—you want me cuffed up and contained, all nice and neat. I get it. But who’s going to fix the ship? And who’s going to fly it—you?”

She frowned. “No. But you aren’t either. Not until I’m sure you’re not flying me to some weird serial killer sex cave to assault and dismember me before going on your merry way.”

Reddix barked a laugh. “You still think I want to ‘assault’ you? You’ve got a one track mind, you know that, sweetheart?”

Her cheeks went red. “Well, what am I supposed to think? You never told me why you grabbed me. Why else does a man kidnap a woman and fly her through a freaking wormhole?”

“Not for sex, I can promise you that,” he growled.

“Oh, I get it.” She nodded, a knowing look on her face. “You’re gay, right?”

“What?” He combed his knowledge of the English language for the correct meaning. “Are you really asking me if I’m ecstatically happy when you have me cuffed to the food prep counter? What do you think?”

She smothered a laugh. “No—not happy gay. I mean, you like other men—that has to be it, right? I mean with a face and a body like yours—” She stopped abruptly, her cheeks going even redder. “I mean…”

“You think I must like other men because I look like I do?” He looked at her incredulously.

“Well…yes.” She cleared her throat. “That’s uh, not unusual back where I come from. The really pretty looking men…I mean, the handsome ones, usually turn out to be gay.”

Reddix frowned. “So you think I’m handsome?” Usually when a woman looked at him with interest, he could feel her lust like cool slime coating his skin. It hit him all over again that he couldn’t feel her emotions. Why was that? Was he still simply numb? And how long would the numbness last? Forever, please Goddess. It was so amazing simply to have a conversation with someone without feeling every emotion they had as they had it. Reddix knew it couldn’t last, but a male could wish, couldn’t he?

“You must know how you look,” Nina said tartly, interrupting his speculation. “I’m not going to feed your ego.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong—about both things,” Reddix growled. “I like women.” He looked her over slowly. “I especially like a woman with a heart-shaped ass.”

She frowned and took a step back. “I—”

“And I absolutely fucking hate the way I look,” Reddix continued bitterly. “If I could make myself ugly—or even better—invisible, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

“But…why?” She shook her head, clearly confused.

“Never mind why. It’s none of your fucking business,” he snarled, losing patience with both her and himself. Why had he even told her that? It was a private matter—no one but his little sister Minda knew how he felt about his looks. Why had he shared his feelings with the girl he was transporting as a sacrifice to the swamp witch to cure his RTS? Don’t get involved with her, he warned himself. It’ll only make things harder.

Nina stiffened, clearly offended by his rough words. Reddix was sure she would turn and walk away—probably refuse to talk to him for a good long while. Which was good—he needed a break from her. A break from those big blue, gold-flecked eyes and her warm, sweet scent. A break from those full breasts and the curvy, heart-shaped ass he could see under the loose dark blue clothing she wore.

She did turn and walk away, to his mingled relief and disappointment. He turned his head and tried not to watch her receding posterior but then caught himself watching anyway from the corner of his eye. It was just too hard to keep his eyes off her lush ass. Damn it, she was really beginning to get under his skin.

There was silence for a moment, which made Reddix hope she’d decided to lie down in the sleep chamber and take a rest—it would give them more time apart. But then he heard water running in the fresher—she must have decided to take a bath or a shower.

“Hey,” he shouted. “Easy with the water, sweetheart. We don’t know if the reclamation unit’s been damaged or not. We won’t last a solar week out here if you use up all the available resources.”

The water shut off, and he was certain she was probably standing in the next room fuming silently. Probably, she wouldn’t talk to him for the rest of the night—or day—or whatever time it was here. But then, to his surprise, she came back after all. She was carrying a bowl of steaming water and a white washing cloth she must have found among the ship’s linens.

Reddix eyed her mistrustfully. “What are you planning to do with that?”

“You said you wanted to be ugly—well, you’re making a pretty good start,” Nina said tartly. She sat the steaming bowl down on the floor and crouched beside him. “That gash on your forehead is going to leave a nasty scar, and it’ll probably get infected if I don’t wash it out.” She wrung out the cloth and held it in one hand while she reached for his face with the other. “Now just hold still—”

“Don’t.” Reddix felt a surge of panic. He might be numb to her emotions now, but he was sure he would be able to feel them the minute she touched his bare skin. He didn’t want that—didn’t want the comforting numbness to go away, only to be replaced by the horrible crawling sensation of her feelings worming their way over his body. The very idea made him nauseous.

“But—” Nina looked confused, but her hand still hovered in the air, right in front of his face.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he growled at her. “I mean it!”

Nina drew back. “Okay, okay, I get it—you think I want to hurt you because you hurt me. An eye for an eye, right? Well, that’s probably what you deserve, but I’m not that kind of person. I’m into healing—not hurting. I want to go back to school and become a PA—a physician’s assistant. So you don’t have to worry that I’ll try to harm you.”

“It’s not that.” Reddix’s voice sounded harsh, even in his own ears. “I remember what I saw in the dreams we shared—I know you’re a healer.”

“Then you know I won’t hurt you.” She dipped the cloth in the steaming water again and wrung it out. “So if you’ll just hold still—”

“No,” he snapped, evading her hand.

She frowned. “Look, I worked my way through massage therapy school as an aide in a nursing home. I’ve seen some nasty injuries, and I can tell when a cut looks bad. I can promise you that’s going to get infected if I don’t clean it out. Is that what you want?”

“No,” Reddix admitted grudgingly. “But why don’t you just let me loose and let me clean it out myself? I’ll swear not to hurt you.”

“Fat chance, buddy.” Nina crossed her arms over her chest, apparently heedless of the dripping cloth. “You’re not going anywhere. So you have two options—let me clean the cut, or get a nasty infection and possibly die of it while we’re out here marooned on an alien planet. Your choice.”

Reddix considered her for a long moment. It was true that the area above his left eyebrow ached and stung, and he could feel the tackiness of dried blood across his forehead and down his cheek. The last thing he needed was to be undermined by an infection—especially now when he would probably need all his strength to fix the ship—if it was even fixable.

“Well?” Nina raised an eyebrow at him. “The water’s getting cold. Make up your mind.”

“Fine,” he said at last, grudgingly. “But only if you can clean it without touching my skin.” Seeing her uncomprehending look, he continued. “Just use the cloth—don’t put your hand on me, don’t touch your bare skin to mine in any way. Got it?”

Nina looked offended. “Are you some kind of germaphobe? You’re afraid I’ll contaminate you with my Earth germs or something?”

“No,” Reddix said shortly. “With your feelings. Can you clean it without touching me or not?”

“Sure, I guess.” Still frowning, she shrugged and dipped the cloth in the water a third time. “If that’s the way you want it.”

“That’s the only way I want it,” Reddix growled. “Just don’t touch me, and I’ll be fine.”

“All right, all right.” She still looked offended as she began to wipe the stinging cut carefully. “You didn’t seem to have any problem with bare skin contact when you grabbed me.”

“That was different,” Reddix muttered, closing his eyes as she continued to dab at the wound. “An exception. I usually never touch anyone.”

“What—never?” She sounded surprised. “Is that some kind of an OCD thing?”

He frowned. “OCD? I don’t know that word.”

“Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Sometimes people who have it feel the need to wash their hands over and over or—”

“No, nothing like that.” Reddix shook his head. “It’s an RTS thing.”

“RTS? What’s that?”

“Reverse Touch Syndrome,” he said and was immediately irritated with himself for revealing another personal detail to her when he ought to be keeping her at an arm’s length.

“Reverse Touch Syndrome? I’ve worked with a lot of clients that have different problems, but I’ve never heard of that. What is it? Like Fibromyalgia or something?”

“It’s nothing—nothing that concerns you.” He jerked his head away from the dabbing cloth. “Are you almost done?”

“Just need to clean off the blood on your face.” She dipped the cloth again and wrung it out. “You’re not very grateful, you know. In fact, you’re a grumpy bastard.”

“Yeah, well, I—” he began, and then his stomach growled loudly.

Nina looked amused. “Okay, that explains it—at least partially.”

Reddix frowned, angry at his body for showing weakness.

“Explains what?”

“You’re hungry. Mehoo always says hunger turns a man into a bear.”

“Thought I was already a bear,” he said. “What in the Seven Hells is a bear, anyway?”

Nina frowned as she wiped his face, being careful not to touch his skin.

“A big, shaggy, solitary animal that lives by itself in the forest. As long as you leave them alone, they’re harmless. But if you make one angry…” She shook her head and shivered.

“What?” Reddix was interested despite himself. “Tell me—what’s so bad about a bear?”

Nina sighed and put the cloth back in the water.

“My dad had a friend once who liked to go hunting—Uncle Jerry we called him. Dad went with him on a trip to Alaska to do some photography. I was little at the time, only eight, but I still remember when my father came home he hugged me so hard it hurt…and he cried. My dad never cries, but that one time he did.”

“Because…?” Reddix nodded for her to go on.

“Basically because during the trip, he thought he was never going to see me again.”

“What happened?”

“Dad and Uncle Jerry were attacked by a Kodiak bear up there—a kind of really big grizzly. They can get over nine feet tall on their hind legs, and they’re massive.” She shivered again. “I heard my dad telling my mom about it later. He got up into a tree in time, but his friend wasn’t fast enough and neither one of them had their rifles. Dad saw the whole thing. I can still remember him saying, ‘It ripped his fucking head off, baby. I sat up there in that tree while it gnawed on Jerry like a dog with a chew toy, and I couldn’t do a Goddamn thing to stop it.’” Nina shook her head. “I was just a kid, and I really liked Uncle Jerry. I used to have these nightmares about what happened to him, and later I had dreams about a talking bear. Maybe that’s why Mehoo-Jimmy says the bear is my spirit animal.”

She wiped her face with her free hand, and Reddix realized she was crying a little. Normally he hated to be around anyone having emotional trauma—sorrow and grief pierced him like knives and made his stomach feel like it was filled with sharp, pointy rocks. His first reaction when someone started crying was to get away. But sitting here with Nina, still unable to feel her emotions, he was able to have emotions of his own other than just the need to make a quick escape. He felt…sympathy for her. Empathy, even.

“It’s hard to lose someone you love violently,” he offered in a low voice. “One of my favorite uncles died in a duel when I was eleven cycles old. It was…difficult to say goodbye to him.”

“Yeah, well…” Nina sniffed. “Sorry, it’s crazy to get all emotional about it now. I think it’s just all the stress I’ve been through today.”

“You mean all the stress from being kidnapped and flown through a wormhole and crashed on an alien world?” Reddix said dryly.

“Well…yeah.” She gave a short, surprised laugh. “You know, now that you’re not being all dark and mysterious and scary and grumpy, you’re actually pretty easy to talk to.”

“Now that you’ve got me where you want me, you mean.” Reddix raised an eyebrow at her and rattled the restraints against the metal bar. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yes.” Nina sounded completely unrepentant as she finished cleaning his face and dropped the cloth back into the bowl of water. “And that’s where you’re going to stay.” She rose, holding the bowl of water. “I’m going to dump this and then come back and make some supper—providing we have anything to make.”

“The ship is fully stocked,” Reddix assured her. “I made certain of that before I stole it.”

Her eyes widened, and then she nodded as though nothing he did would surprise her.

“All right then. I’ll come back and make us some supper. Maybe with a full stomach, you’ll stop being such a bear.”

“Maybe,” Reddix said noncommittally. “But I wouldn’t count on it, Nina. We have a saying on my home planet of Tarsia—a vishneer can’t change its colorations.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “Considering I have no idea what a vishneer is, that still makes a lot of sense.”

“It’s the Tarsian version of a bear, and it’s just as deadly as your Kodiak,” Reddix told her quietly. “Think about that, Nina. Think carefully before you decide I’m friendly and ‘easy to talk to.’ I took you from Earth for my own selfish purposes, and I have no intention of letting you go until I get what I need.”

He didn’t know why he felt the need to warn her—maybe because she was getting too close, getting under his skin. But he couldn’t let her believe he was harmless—not when he still desperately needed what only her sacrifice could get him. No matter how lovely or compassionate she was, he still had every intention of taking her to the swamp witch to get his cure. It wouldn’t be honorable or right to let her think otherwise.

Nina turned pale for a moment but then simply nodded.

“I won’t forget,” she said and walked away, carrying the bowl of water carefully.

Chapter Twelve

Stop letting him get to you! Mehoo-Jimmy’s voice lectured as Nina poured the cloudy water down the bathroom sink and stared at herself in the weird digital mirror. He’s not a nice guy, eecho. He admitted it himself—he still wants to hurt you.

Well, at least he wasn’t trying to pretend he was her friend to get her off her guard. Nina respected his honesty despite his blunt admission that he still intended to carry out his plans for her—whatever they were—if he could.

It should put me off. I should hate him—fear him—want nothing to do with him. But the way he smelled, that warm, seductive scent that reminded her of all her dreams…and the way he looked at her when he’d said he liked a woman with a heart-shaped ass…

Snap out of it, Nina! she scolded herself. Remember Ted Bundy. Remember that this guy wants to hurt you, and he will if you give him half a chance. Do not let him get under your skin. And no matter what he says, no matter how interesting or attractive he makes himself, do not under any circumstances uncuff him. No matter what!

She nodded firmly at her reflection in the strange mirror. That was a promise—she wouldn’t let Reddix go even if he begged and pleaded. No matter how good he smelled or how hot he looked or how intriguing she found him, the big Kindred was going to stay right where he was—cuffed to the metal bar in the kitchen.

Nina left the little bathroom filled with resolve…and saw Reddix trying to flex his shoulders and wincing in obvious pain. Immediately, she felt a stab of guilt. Her training as a massage therapist kicked in and she longed to go to work on his broad shoulders where she was sure the muscles must be knotted and aching from the time he’d spent in such an uncomfortable position.

He’s a kidnapper, she reminded herself. And who knows what else. Maybe a murderer or a rapist… But she didn’t really believe that. Reddix had said he had no interest in forcing her, and she was sure he was telling the truth. He didn’t even want her to touch him, let alone do anything else.

He still deserves everything he gets, Nina told herself firmly. She bustled up to the counter, making sure to keep some distance between herself and the big Kindred, and reached for the cabinets.

But she couldn’t keep herself from looking down at him from the corner of her eye. He didn’t say a word, but he was still trying to loosen the muscles in his neck and arms, and the look of pain in his silver eyes hurt Nina. She had never been able to stand seeing anything or anyone in pain. She had too much compassion—too much empathy—to be able to stand idly by while there was suffering she could somehow alleviate. Even if the man who was suffering meant her harm.

“Here,” she said, crouching beside him and reaching for his shoulders.

“What are you going to do?” Reddix drew back, a wary look on his face.

“Just going to loosen you up a little,” Nina said soothingly. “Don’t worry—I can manage without touching your skin.”

Aside from his black flight trousers, he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and a jacket with a hood, which must have been hell to wear in Florida when he had kidnapped her. Working by feel, Nina pushed her hands under the thick material and found the knotted muscles of his shoulders. Then she went to work.

It was a big job because Reddix was bigger than anyone she’d ever massaged before—and she’d done a few of the Tampa Bay Bucks linemen and a professional wrestler or two in her time. She wondered how big he was standing up. It was hard to estimate given the short time she’d seen him before he grabbed her, but if she had to guess, she would have bet he was six foot seven or eight at least. In other words, huge.

Being this close to him was awkward—his face was only inches from her own—but she did her best to ignore it and keep working. His warm masculine scent invaded her senses, distracting her until she had to close her eyes and force herself to concentrate on easing his tension. Just when she could feel him finally beginning to loosen up, he spoke in that deep, harsh voice of his—the only part of him that wasn’t perfect.

“What are you feeling?”

“What?” It was such a strange question that Nina’s eyes flew open. She realized their faces were even closer—almost close enough to kiss—but Reddix wasn’t pulling away from her. Instead, he was staring at her with a quizzical look in his silver eyes.

“I said, what are you feeling right now?” he repeated. “I can’t tell from looking at you, and I’m still numb so…”

“Numb?” Nina frowned. “Did I pinch a nerve?”

“No, nothing like that.” He shook his head. “I just don’t know why you’re doing this for me. I want to know why.”

“Because…” Nina sat back on her heels. “You’re in pain.”

“Yes.” He nodded, frowning. “But why should you care? I kidnapped you. Took you from your home.”

Nina shrugged uneasily. “I don’t know. I can’t stand to see someone in pain—not if I can help.”

“Of course.” He laughed harshly. “I’m like an animal in a cage—a bear you’re too compassionate to watch suffer.”

“Something like that, I guess,” Nina said uneasily. “Speaking of which…” She gave his shoulders one last squeeze. “Feeling better now?”

Reddix flexed his arms and shoulders and nodded grudgingly.

“I am. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She rose a little unsteadily and reached for the cabinets again. “Okay, let’s see what we’re having for dinner. Looks like…” She frowned as she regarded the contents of the cabinets. “Sugar?”

“What is sugar?” Reddix asked, craning his neck to see what she was looking at. “Some kind of Earth food?”

“More like a seasoning or a condiment,” Nina said. “You put it in your drink to sweeten it up.” She spoke distractedly, staring at the contents of the cabinet. Stacks and stacks of little white cubes, all individually wrapped with tiny strange letters printed across their little wrappers, were stacked in the first cabinet she had opened. And the second, and the third. And then she was out of cabinets. “I just don’t understand why there are so many of them,” she muttered.

“So many of what?” Reddix asked, sounding impatient.

“Sugar cubes. This doesn’t make sense,” Nina said. She looked down at Reddix. “Hope you’re not diabetic.”

“Let me see one.”

Nina picked several of the cubes off the shelf and held them out to him, at eye-level.

Reddix scanned the miniscule writing on the cubes, which appeared to be in some foreign language. Then he laughed—a much nicer sound than the harsh bark he’d given earlier when he accused her of seeing him as a caged bear. This was a deep rumbling sound that held genuine amusement—Nina felt it in her bones.

“Those cubes aren’t sugar or any other kind of Earth food, sweetheart,” he said. “They’re just dehydrated rations—that’s how Kindred store food for long trips.”

“Oh.” Nina examined the cubes more closely herself. “They look exactly like sugar cubes. That’s weird.” She juggled the cubes in her hand. “So what…is one of them carrots and one peas and one beef stew or what?”

Reddix shook his shaggy head. “I don’t know what any of those foods are, but the cubes are not just one particular component of the meal. Each single cube is an entire meal in and of itself.”

“Really?” Nina was even more intrigued. “And can you tell what kind of meal is in each?”

“Sure. It’s written on the cube in Standard—the universal Kindred language,” he explained. “Show me again, and I’ll tell you what’s what.”

She held them out again, and he glanced at them briefly. “That one is Grieza worms—a delicacy from Twin Moons,” he said.

Nina shuddered. “Worms? No thanks.” She put the cube on the counter. “Next?”

“Pshaolin pie from my own home world of Tarsia.” He looked surprised. “I didn’t know they had any Touch Kindred food.”

“I guess whoever stocked the ship liked it,” Nina said. “What is it like? Is it a fruity kind of pie or does it have a creamy center?”

He frowned. “I don’t know if your definition of pie matches with mine. It’s a dish with many layers, both savory and sweet. It can be delicious if it’s done right.”

“That sounds good,” Nina said. “You want to call dibs on that cube?”

He frowned. “Dibs?”

“I mean, is that the one you want for dinner?” she clarified.

“Oh. Sure.” He nodded at the other cubes. “Which one do you want?”

Nina sighed. “I don’t know…anything but worms, I guess. I wish there was some Earth food here. Not that I don’t like to try new things but…” She almost said but I’m already homesick. However, she stopped herself just in time. She’d already shared enough personal details with Reddix. It was time to start keeping things to herself.

“Well, if there’s food from my home planet, there might be some from yours too,” Reddix said reasonably. “Give me some more meal ration cubes to read and let me know if anything sounds familiar.”

“Okay.” Nina gathered a handful of the cubes and sat on the floor across from him. She began showing him cubes, and Reddix named the foods contained and explained what each one was with remarkable patience. Still, Nina knew he was hungry, and she was getting really ravenous herself—it had been a long, crazy time since the chocolate milk shake she’d had for lunch. She was just about to give up and try one of the alien meals—as long as it didn’t contain worms—when Reddix looked at one of the cubes she was holding and said,

“Hamburger and French fries.”

“What?” Nina looked at the tiny cube. “Are you sure?”

He shrugged. “That’s what it says. Is that an Earth food?”

“Better than that—it’s junk food. Comfort food.” And I could use a little comfort right now. Nina jumped up excitedly and put the rest of the cubes back. “Okay, how do I cook them? Do we need to boil some water or what?”

Reddix shook his head. “Just put them in the rehydrator—that machine up there.” He nodded to the thing Nina had taken for a very large microwave. “Press the button, wait for the tone, and then take it out. Be careful though—it’s going to be hot.”

“Got it.” Nina frowned. “But…don’t I need a plate?”

“Everything you need is contained in the cube—even utensils.” He frowned. “Except something to drink. Why don’t you search for a bottle of something in the cabinets while you rehydrate the first one?”

Nina didn’t think she’d seen anything but the meal cubes, but she put the first cube—the Pshaolin pie—in the rehydrator and began looking again anyway. After a moment, she came up with some little green glass bottles that had been stacked behind the cubes.

“Well, I found…something.” Nina held them up doubtfully. They were tiny—not even as big as the bottles of liquor you got on an airplane. But Reddix nodded approvingly.

“Perfect. But one should be enough—you can put the rest back.”

“So this goes in the rehydrator too?” Nina asked looking at the little thumb-sized bottle in her hand. It looked like a bottle of champagne for a Barbie doll to celebrate with.

“Exactly. But wait until after the food is done—you don’t want the flavors to mix.”

“All right.” Just then the rehydrator dinged, and Nina opened the door to release a cloud of delicious steam.

“Mmm.” Reddix’s stomach rumbled again. “Smells just like the kind my mother makes.”

“Okay…” Nina said, unable to keep the uncertainty out of her voice. The little cube had somehow unfolded, and now it was a large portion of food sitting on what looked like a square white paper plate. There was a black thing like a spork sitting beside it, but it was the food itself that held her attention. Reddix had said it was a layered dish, and it certainly did have a lot of layers—fifteen or so from what she could see. It smelled spicy and exotic, but it looked like…

“It looks like blue lasagna,” she said as she pulled the plate out of the rehydrator. “With green and purple layers and red cheese.”

“It looks exactly like Pshaolin pie is supposed to look,” Reddix rumbled approvingly.

“Well, I’m glad you like it. It smells good,” Nina said. How it tasted would be a different matter, but Reddix seemed happy enough with it. She shrugged as she put the second cube in the rehydrator. In another minute or so, there was a ding, and she was rewarded with a juicy looking hamburger complete with ripe red tomato, crisp green lettuce and a slice of pickle. Beside the hamburger was a heaping serving of crispy brown fries sprinkled liberally with salt. There were no eating utensils—apparently whoever had packed the meal knew it was finger food—but there were several packets of mustard and ketchup on the side, much to Nina’s delight.

“Is it how you like it?” Reddix was looking at her quizzically again. “You’re smiling so…”

“Oh, yes.” Nina nodded. “I know it’s silly to get all excited about dinner, but I’m so hungry, and it’s been ages since I let myself have this kind of food. I always get Meehoo Jimmy her favorite burger, but I usually get a salad for myself.”

He frowned. “Why?”

“Well, because. This stuff—” She gestured to the hamburger and fries. “—isn’t exactly health food. It’s really fattening, and it always goes straight to my hips and butt.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Nina was standing sideways to him, and to her discomfort, she saw that the big Kindred was eyeing her too large hips and ass with some interest.

“Um…” She turned self-consciously so that she was facing him instead. “It’s just that they’re big enough already.”

“They’re perfect,” he growled softly. “At least as far as I can see with that baggy clothing you have on.”

Nina could feel her face getting hot. “These are my scrubs. I always work in them.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Those sharp silver eyes were still roving restlessly up and down her body. Finally, they stopped on her face. “Now you’re blushing,” Reddix said. “Are you embarrassed?”

“Of course I am, with you looking at me like that! Can’t you tell?”

He shook his head. “I’ve…gotten out of the habit of reading people’s faces so I wasn’t sure.”

Nina frowned as she removed the hamburger and fries and put the tiny Barbie doll sized bottle into the rehydrator. “How do you get out of the habit of reading people’s faces? What do you do—go around with your hood up all the time not looking at anyone?”

“I do wear my hood all the time,” he admitted in a low voice. “But not because I want to keep from seeing anyone.”

“Why then?”

He looked away. “To keep them from looking at me. I think the drink is done.”

“Oh.” Nina sensed he didn’t want to say anymore, so she didn’t ask, though she had a thousand questions. He kept saying such strange things—that he wanted to be ugly or invisible. That he hated the way he looked. And now he admitted to hiding his face—that perfectly gorgeous face, although he could really use a shave and a haircut—from everyone all the time. Why? He didn’t seem crazy—well, no more than any other guy who kidnapped a girl and took her through a wormhole. So what was going on with him?

She sensed she was going to have to wait to find out—if she found out at all. Reddix clearly was irritated with himself for telling as much as he had. He had a closed look on his face, so she was silent as she pulled the bottle out of the rehydrator and eyed it in wonder.

“Wow…it really grew!” she exclaimed. The bottle was now bigger than a good sized wine bottle, though with a considerably wider mouth. It was plugged with some kind of black waxy substance. When Nina pulled it out, a light, fruity perfume filled the air, making her think of berries and melons and strangely enough, of cinnamon toast.

“Vanerian sweet juice,” Reddix said, sniffing the air. “A perfect complement to our meal.”

“I don’t see any cups,” Nina said, making a quick search of the cabinets once more. “I think we’ll have to drink out of the bottle. Hope you don’t mind sharing.”

“I don’t,” he said simply. “Although I think I’m going to have a little trouble eating like this.” He rattled the cuffs against the metal bar and raised an eyebrow at her.

“I’m not letting you go so don’t even think about it,” Nina said crisply. There was a padded bench-like seat and small table across from the kitchen area, but she ignored it. Instead, she put the plates and the large green bottle on the floor and sat down across from him. “I’ll feed you.”

He frowned. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Of course, I do. How else are you going to eat?”

Reddix shook his head. “I still don’t understand why you’re being so kind to me after what I did.”

“I probably shouldn’t be,” Nina said, scooping up a bite of the weird blue lasagna with the spork and shoveling it into his mouth. “I should probably starve you into submission or at least make you wait to eat until you tell me the location of the emergency beacon you were talking about earlier.”

He chewed and swallowed. “Mmm. It’s in the front of the ship on the pilot’s side near the steering yoke.”

Nina looked at him, surprised. “You’re telling me—just like that?”

He grinned humorlessly. “Sure. It won’t do you any good, though—it needs a Kindred handprint to activate it. And in case you didn’t notice, my hands are sort of tied up right now.” He rattled the cuffs again.

“Right.” Nina felt immediately deflated. With a sigh, she took a bite of her hamburger. She knew it shouldn’t, but the salty, meaty flavor, the juicy tomato and crisp buttered bun made her feel immediately better.

Marooned on an alien planet light years from home with no idea how I’m going to get back to Earth, and a hamburger makes me feel better. Wow, how shallow am I?

But despite her inner conflict, she couldn’t help closing her eyes and giving a little moan of pure happiness. It was the best burger she’d ever had—even better than the Kobe beef burger she’d had that one time she and her coworkers from Massage Envy had decided to treat themselves to Square 1, the gourmet burger place in South Tampa.

“It must be really good.”

Reddix’s deep voice cut into her happy little memory, and her eyes flew open. To her discomfort, she saw he was looking at her in that way again. The way that made her feel hot and cold and naked all at once. She nearly choked but finally managed to swallow her bite.

“Yeah, it’s…really delicious,” she said, holding the burger out reflexively. “Want to try a bite?”

Reddix looked thoughtful. “Don’t mind if I do. But only if you try a bite of mine.”

“Well…” Nina eyed his plateful of blue lasagna doubtfully.

“Come on,” he urged. “You need to try new things.”

“Like I’m not already trying new things,” Nina scoffed. “Here I am on an alien planet, having dinner with my kidnapper…”

“I’m sorry about that,” he said, his voice growing suddenly harsh. “I wouldn’t have taken you if I didn’t need you—need what you have—so badly.”

Nina forgot about the food. “And what is it that I have that you need?” she asked, looking at him intently. “You can at least tell me that.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I can’t. Not now.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask when? as well as a whole host of other questions, but Nina sensed he would just shut down if she did that. And it seemed to her that her best chance of survival was to keep him engaged…keep him talking. Besides, though she didn’t want to admit it, she was really beginning to enjoy their casual banter.

The conversation wasn’t anything like what she would have expected to have with a man who had kidnapped her and taken her hostage, but it was different…nice, as crazy as that sounded. And a lot more interesting than the conversations she used to have with her last serious boyfriend, Mitch, whose idea of witty repartee was to grunt, “That was good, babe. How ‘bout gettin’ me a beer?” right after sex.

“Here, try a bite,” she said, getting back to the subject of food. “And yes, I’ll try a bite of yours too, but you first.”

Reddix took a bite of the hamburger and closed his eyes as he chewed. Finally, he swallowed and looked at her.

“Good. Really good. Meaty, salty, juicy…I can see why you like it so much.” He nodded down at the Pshaolin pie. “Now you try mine.”

“All right…” Trying to be brave, Nina scooped up a reasonable bite and, not letting herself think about it, popped it into her mouth. Immediately flavors exploded across her tongue. It was, as Reddix had said, both sweet and savory with a lighter-than-air texture, and to her surprise, it was absolutely delicious. “Mmm,” she hummed contentedly. It reminded her of the first time she’d ever tried curry—it was a completely alien taste but also wonderful.

“So you like it?” Reddix rumbled, and she thought she saw a little smile playing around the corners of his sensuous mouth.

Nina swallowed. “I do—maybe even more than the burger. What’s in it?”

“Trelk blossoms, kildar meat, yarop sauce…” He shook his head. “The rest varies but those are the main ingredients that you have to have to make really good Pshaolin pie.”

“Well, it’s delicious. But now I’m thirsty.” Nina raised the heavy glass wine bottle, using two hands. She was about to take a sip of the fruity smelling liquid when she stopped. “Uh, is this stuff alcoholic?”

“Only mildly,” Reddix assured her. “It never affects me at all—you should be fine.”

“Yeah, but you’re built like a tank,” Nina objected.

He shrugged, his cuffs rattling. “I can’t help it. We Kindred are built on a larger scale than you tiny little humans. Try the drink—I think you’ll like it.”

“I’ll only have a little,” Nina said, more to herself than him. Though she loved fruity drinks, she was a real lightweight when it came to drinking, and she didn’t need to get blackout drunk right now. She took a delicate, ladylike sip.

“Hmm, that’s nice.” She took another, longer sip. “Really nice.” She took a third drink—the melon and berries taste was still there, but the hint of cinnamon toast seemed to be getting stronger and more delicious with every swallow.

“What happened to ‘just a little’?” Reddix looked amused.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sure you want some too.” Carefully she wiped the bottle with the fabric of her scrub top and held it up to him.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Reddix frowned. “I told you, I’m not afraid of your germs.”

“Oh, well…I mean, with your phobia about touching—”

“It’s not a phobia. It’s a fact of life—at least for me.” His silver eyes flashed. “Do you think I like not being able to touch anyone? Do you think I enjoy never being touched? Seeing a beautiful female in front of me and knowing I can never lay a hand on her, much less do anything else?”

“I…don’t know,” Nina said. “I just met you. Well…except for the dreams.”

“Yes. The dreams.” He laughed harshly. “The nightmares, I believe you called them.”

“Well, what else could I call them?” Nina demanded, getting upset. “All I could see was this big, scary man without a face. And I could feel pain…so much pain and need and suffering. But I could never tell what was hurting you.”

“Yeah, well…” He looked away.

She put down the bottle and placed her hand tentatively on his knee. “What’s hurting you, Reddix? What is it that you need from me?”

“I can’t tell you that.” He moved his leg away from her hand even though his black flight trousers kept her from touching his skin.

“Can’t or won’t?” Nina asked softly.

“Pick one.” His voice was a deep, menacing growl.

“Why won’t you just tell me?” Nina stared at him in frustration. She knew she hadn’t known him long—hell, she didn’t really know him now. Except…she felt like she did. Because of the dreams. It was as though they were continuing a conversation that had started weeks ago—months ago. She felt she had a right to know what she was asking, a right to have some answers.

But Reddix clearly wasn’t willing to give her anything.

“Forget it.” He jerked his chin at the bottle. “Just give me a drink. Please.”

“Sure.” She tilted the bottle for him, and he took several long swallows.

“Thank you,” he said shortly when he was finished.

“You’re welcome.” Nina felt miserable—more upset with herself than she was with Reddix. He’s your kidnapper, damn it! You shouldn’t give a rat’s ass what he thinks. You shouldn’t care if he’s angry. But the healer in her couldn’t help sensing the pain under his anger. And despite herself, she wanted to help him…wanted to heal him.

If only he would let her.

They finished the rest of the meal in silence, both eating just their own food, and Nina was careful not to drink too much more of the alcoholic fruit juice. Still, she felt mildly buzzed as they finished the bottle, though Reddix drank more than her and didn’t seem to show any effects of the alcohol at all.

Or not the effects she would have been expecting, anyway. Shortly after they finished and she was cleaning up—a very easy matter of putting all the paper dishes and utensils into the recycling chute—she noticed him starting to squirm.

First, he crossed his legs one way, then another. Then he shifted and rattled his cuffs and made an uncomfortable sound in the back of his throat. Nina had promised herself she would leave him alone and not let herself be affected by him anymore, but still, she couldn’t help noticing. Finally, the third or fourth time he shifted positions, she knelt in front of him.

“What is it?” she asked. “Are your shoulders aching again? You need another massage?”

“No. Nothing like that.” He looked both angry and uncomfortable.

“Well then…” She shook her head. “I can’t help you if you won’t tell me.”

“I need to use the fresher, damn it,” he finally blurted.

“The fresher?” Realizations suddenly hit. “Oh, you mean the bathroom.” It must have been all the juice he’d had. Actually, she was beginning to feel the effects herself.

“Whatever you call it,” he growled. “You’re going to have to uncuff me—now.”

“I’m sorry.” Nina took a step back from him, her hand going reflexively to the locking mechanism still hidden in her front scrub pocket. “But I don’t trust you—not enough to let you go.”

“I swear I won’t hurt you,” he said through gritted teeth.

Nina put a hand on her hip. “And will you promise to fix the ship and take me straight back to Earth if I let you go?”

Reluctantly, he shook his head. “I can’t promise that, no.”

“Will you at least trigger the emergency beacon if I let you up?”

Reddix frowned. “I don’t want interference. If I can fix the ship myself, things will be much…easier.”

Nina felt cold all over. “Easier for you to take me off to wherever it is you were taking me before we landed,” she snapped. “Easier for you to do…whatever it is you want to do to me.” God, she’d been such a complete idiot, letting herself care about him.

“Yes,” he admitted heavily. “Exactly.”

“Then I’m not letting you up.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“You have to,” he growled. “That damn Vanerian sweet juice…” He nodded at the big green bottle, which was still standing on the compact kitchen counter.

The bottle gave Nina an idea. It wasn’t something that would have occurred to her if she hadn’t been slightly buzzed and feeling brave because of the alien alcohol in her system, but at the minute, it seemed like the perfect solution.

“Just a minute.” She snapped her fingers. “I can handle this.” Of course, exactly what she was going to have to handle, she didn’t allow herself to think about. She went to rummage in some of the various compartments.

“What in the Seven Hells are you looking for?” Reddix sounded thoroughly exasperated as she dug through the ship, checking every storage locker and compartment.

“Gloves.” Nina pulled back from the cabinet she was rummaging in. “Do you know if they have any on a ship like this? Otherwise, I’ll have to touch you with my bare hands, and I know you don’t want that.”

Not that she exactly wanted it either. But again, she wouldn’t let herself think about it.

“Where exactly are you planning to ‘touch’ me?” he demanded but just then, Nina found what she was looking for.

In a small square box with alien writing on it, she found several bottles, tubes, and sprays that looked like medicine. Clearly, it was a first aid kit—something she should have thought about looking for before, when she was cleaning the cut over his eye. Well, she could worry about that later. For now, she hopefully examined the contents of the box. Aside from the medicines, there was also something that looked like a tourniquet made out of snakeskin, some dark blue silky squares that must be the Kindred version of gauze and…

“Bingo,” Nina muttered to herself, pulling out the thin pair of dark purple gloves. They seemed to be made of the same silky material as the “gauze” patches but they would prevent skin-to-skin contact, which was all she needed. The gloves were much too big for her hands but to her surprise, the minute she put them on, they shrunk to fit as though they’d been made for her. Perfect. Now to do what had to be done.

But as she turned back to Reddix, he had a mutinous look on his darkly handsome features.

“What in the Seven Hells do you think you’re doing, sweetheart?”

“Helping you.” Nina got the empty wine bottle and settled between his legs. “I’ve got on some gloves so you don’t have to worry about skin-to-skin contact. See?” She held up one gloved hand to show him.

“Skin-to-skin contact isn’t the only thing that bothers me—this is fucking humiliating.” Reddix glared at her. “Just let me up to use the fresher. I swear I’ll come right back and let you cuff me again when I’m finished.”

“No.” Nina shook her head firmly. “We already ruled that out. Look, I’m sorry—I know this is embarrassing, but look at it from my point of view. You practically admitted you still intend to do me harm, and you won’t even agree to set off the beacon so we can get help—if whoever comes looking can even find us this far out. So this is your only option. Other than wetting your pants.”

Reddix glared at her but finally nodded. “Fine. But I’m not happy about this, and I promise you, Nina, you’re going to pay for it sometime in the future.”

Nina felt a shiver run down her spine, but she was determined to stay strong. Lifting her chin, she stared into those blazing silver eyes.

“I’m not afraid of you,” she said in a voice that wobbled only a little bit.

Reddix gave a humorless bark of laughter. “Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.” Then he nodded between his legs. “Well, go on—do it.”

“Right.” Leaning forward, she started to open the front of his tight black trousers…or tried to, anyway, because the damn things wouldn’t come open. There was no zipper, no buttons—the trousers seemed to be seamless.

Nina was beginning to feel panicky, and the buzz she’d had earlier from the Vanerian sweet juice was almost gone, taking her bravado along with it. She could sense Reddix’s growing impatience as she fumbled around, feeling like a complete fool.

“Goddess damn it,” he swore at last, “You’re going to give me a whole other problem if you keep on like that.”

“I’m sorry…” Nina glared at the pants as though she could force them to part with the strength of her irritation. “They just…won’t open.”

“They have magnetic tabs. Just run your finger along the inside edge and you’ll see.”

Nina did as he said, unable to help noticing how rock-hard his abs were as she ran her fingers along the inside of his trousers. His skin was warm against the back of her fingers, and she tried very hard not to come in contact with anything she shouldn’t. She felt kind of like an inept actress in a porno vid—a low budget one that wasn’t very good. Finally, she located the tiny, hidden row of magnetic tabs he’d told her about and was able to pull his trousers open.

In the back of her mind she’d been wondering what kind of underwear Kindred wore. Now she could see the answer was…none. At least, in Reddix’s case.

“Oh…my,” she muttered as his shaft was abruptly revealed. Even only half hard it was bigger and thicker than anything she’d ever seen before—and that included Mitch’s equipment, which he had been extremely proud of.

“Well?” Reddix demanded, and she realized she’d just been sitting there, staring at him. “Are you going to do this or not?”

“I…of course. Of course, I am.” Feeling like an idiot, she reached between his legs. I can do this, she reminded herself desperately, despite her growing embarrassment. I can do this—I’ve done it before. Which was true—she’d helped patients to use a male urinal before when she worked in the nursing home. But all of those men had been old and feeble and mostly out of it. None of them had been huge muscular Kindred warriors glaring at her while she handled their…business.

She forced herself to take his hot, hard length in her gloved hand, noting as she did that she could scarcely wrap her fingers around it. God, he was huge all over! She felt really sorry for whatever girl had to accommodate this—it was simply too big. It seemed to pulse in her hand and she felt like a porn actress all over again.

“Hey—are you gonna jerk me off or help me out?” Reddix growled.

“I…uh…” Nina’s face was so hot she felt like her forehead was about to set her hair on fire. “Help you out, of course. I’m not…fondling you was never my intention.”

“Could have fooled me. Get on with it.”

“Of course.” Nina fit the broad, flared head to the mouth of the wine bottle and looked away as he did his business. It was possibly one of the single most embarrassing moments of her life, though it really shouldn’t have been. I am a medical professional, she reminded herself over and over. I can handle this. It’ll be over in a minute.

Finally, it was.

“Finished,” Reddix said gruffly. “You can take the damn bottle away.”

Nina did. Quickly she rose and carried the bottle to the bathroom where she disposed of the contents in the commode. She stripped off her gloves, washed her hands, and came back out into the main part of the ship feeling relieved. At least that was over.

Then she saw Reddix still sitting there with his pants open and realized she’d left him hanging—literally.

“Well?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Forget something, sweetheart?”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Nina dropped to her knees before him. Feeling like a fool, she fumbled the gloves back on and began trying to put everything back in place—only it didn’t want to go.

“Goddess damn it!” Reddix growled as she tried to stuff his long, thick cock back into his trousers. But the more she tried, the harder and larger he got. Nina tried tucking the thick monster inside the black flaps, but it kept springing out again, and the magnetic tabs wouldn’t stay closed around it.

“This is ridiculous,” she muttered, beginning to feel panicky. “It’s like trying to stuff a python into a pair of pantyhose. It just won’t go.”

“It’s going to go all right, if you don’t stop it.” Reddix’s deep voice sounded slightly strangled. “Look, just stop trying for a minute. Stop…stop touching me. It’s only making things worse.”

“I’m sorry.” Nina sat back on her heels, feeling absurdly like she was going to cry. This had seemed a simple enough exercise when her slightly drunk brain came up with it just ten minutes ago, but now she felt like a fumbling idiot. “I’m really, really sorry,” she said again, almost ashamed to look him in the eyes. “I never thought…I mean, I never meant to…”

“Not your fault.” He sighed. “It’s mine. Just can’t help getting hard when I’m being touched by such a gorgeous female.” He barked a laugh. “And it doesn’t help that this is the most action I’ve seen in about ten years.”

“Ten years?” Nina looked at him in disbelief. “Did you take a vow of celibacy or something?”

“Something like that.” He cleared his throat. “You should probably put the med kit back. We might need it sometime in the future.”

“Oh, right—the first aid kit. I will. But first, which one of these is an antibiotic cream? Something to fight germs? I need to put some on your forehead.”

“No you don’t.” He frowned. “Kindred are fast healers. You cleaned the cut—that’s enough.”

Nina opened her mouth to protest, but a closer look at the cut over his eye revealed that it was, in fact, healing nicely already. Wow, the Kindred must have really excellent immune systems.

“I’ll put up all but the gloves,” she said, closing the med kit. “I’m sure I’ll need them in, uh, in the future.” She could feel her cheeks getting hot as she said it, but it was already out. Of course she was going to need them—to put him back in place. If his shaft ever went down, that was. But a quick, sideways glance at his crotch told her that particular task needed to wait a while longer.

He saw the direction her eyes went and shrugged. “Sorry. Not ready yet.”

“Uh, I guess not.” Nina hurriedly gathered the square first aid box and rose, meaning to put it back exactly where she’d found it. But when she opened the cabinet she’d thought was the right one, she saw something else instead. “Wow,” she muttered. “What’s this?”

“What’s what?” Reddix wanted to know.

“This thing I found.” Lying on what looked like a black velvet pillow was the strangest piece of jewelry Nina had ever seen. It appeared to be some kind of choker necklace made of filigreed black metal and set with red, green, and blue lights. The lights blinked slowly, almost sleepily, as though the thing was resting—although why Nina would get such an idea about an inanimate object, she didn’t know. Lying beside the black velvet pillow was a small rectangular object that looked to Nina like something that might belong on a key ring. It was made of the same black filigreed metal as the choker, and it had three lighted buttons, which seemed to correspond to the lights on it—red, green, and blue.

“What is it? What did you find?” Reddix asked again.

“This.” Nina was strangely reluctant to touch it, but there was no other way to show him what she was talking about. She was glad she was still wearing the gloves. Setting the first aid kit down on the floor, she carefully lifted the black metal choker from the pillow and pulled it out of the cabinet. “See?” she asked, bringing it closer to his face.

“Holy Goddess!” he growled and threw himself backward, as far from the black metal choker as he could. “Get away from that fucking thing, Nina! Put it down and don’t touch it again!”

Nina didn’t ask why—his reaction was strong enough to override any sense of curiosity she might have about the necklace. She put it back on its pillow at once, noticing as she did so, that the lights seemed to be blinking faster now, almost as though she’d woken the thing up by handling it. But that was another silly thought—wasn’t it?

“What is it?” she asked, turned to Reddix when the choker was safely back in the cabinet with the door closed. “And why did you get so upset?”

“It’s a Goddess damned Hurkon agony collar.” He shook his head, his face pale. “What in the Seven Hells is something like that doing on board this ship? What kind of a monster were they transporting that they needed a Hurkon collar to keep the fucker down?”

“And agony collar? What’s that?” Nina asked.

“Exactly what it sounds like, sweetheart,” Reddix growled. “You put it on your prisoner and press the pretty shiny buttons. It activates all the pain centers in the brain—causes extreme physical pain and anguish.”

“So…another restraining device. Kind of like the cuffs?” She nodded at his wrists.

“No, nothing like them,” Reddix said. “The restraints are specially made to fit snug to a prisoner’s wrists and restrain them without actually hurting them. I never would have used them on you, otherwise. I’m not into causing pain.”

“Oh.” Nina bit her lip. “And the collar?”

“The Hurkon collar is all about pain. It’s designed to cause the maximum amount of agony and unlike the cuffs, it’s sentient.”

“Sentient?” Nina frowned. “You mean it can actually think and reason and…?”

“And enjoy inflicting pain? Oh, yeah.” He nodded grimly. “The Hurkonians imbed a gasher inside each collar—a tiny tele-empathic creature that wants to cause agony because it feeds off extreme emotions.”

“Ugh. That’s horrible.” Nina shivered.

“It gets worse. Hurkon collars have been known to…well, let’s just say problems arise when they get hungry. You’re damn lucky you had on gloves when you handled it.”

Nina looked down at her still gloved hands, remembering the strange feeling she’d had that the choker thing was somehow aware of her.

“I guess I can thank you for that.” She gave Reddix a small smile.

“Yeah, guess so. Speaking of which.” He nodded down between his legs. “I don’t think you’ll have any problem, uh, putting things back in place now.”

Nina followed his gaze with her own. “Oh, you’re all, uh, unexcited now,” she said, feeling her cheeks get hot again.

“Yeah, well…” Reddix shrugged. “Having a Hurkon agony collar shoved in my face tends to kill the mood for me. Now how about helping me out, sweetheart? But first, make sure that cabinet is shut tight. I don’t like the idea of that thing having any way to get out.”

Chapter Thirteen

Reddix still couldn’t figure out what kind of prisoner his brother Kindred might have been transporting who would have rated a Hurkon agony collar. Whoever he was, he must be one evil son-of-a-bitch. The collars were mercifully rare and very expensive, not to mention being notoriously hard to handle. They could be placed in a state of suspended animation, but once awoken, they tended to be hungry and restless. Hopefully it would go back to sleep now that Nina had put it back in the dark.

He wished there was a lock on the cabinet door where the damn thing was kept. To think that he and Nina had been sitting here all this time with no idea of what was sharing the ship with them… It was fucking unnerving to say the least.

After Nina finished putting his shaft back in place and closing the mango-tabs on his flight trousers, Reddix sighed and tried to put the collar out of his mind. After all, it wasn’t like the collar was the first darkness he’d had to deal with. His bargain with the swamp witch leapt nimbly to mind especially now that her mark on his inner wrist had been activated. The blood red lthss was growing larger every hour now that it had tasted Nina’s blood when he first grabbed her. He hadn’t thought of it earlier, but the burning on his wrist and the encounter with the Hurkon collar reminded him. The swamp witch’s words returned to him…

“You’ll have a few solar weeks to get back to me. If you take longer than that, the lthss will begin feeding on you. Now that wouldn’t be pleasant, would it?”

Reddix sighed and shifted restlessly. How long would they be stranded on this planet, wherever it was? Forever unless he somehow convinced Nina to trust him enough to let him out of the cuffs. Although to be honest, he didn’t blame her for keeping him restrained—not when he’d admitted he still had plans for her. Guilt tried to rise in him at the thought, and he shoved it back down mercilessly. He had to think of his little sister Minda, already big with child. Had to think of his people embroiled in another bloody civil war if he couldn’t do what had to be done. And in order to do that, he needed Nina…needed her to trust him.

An idea about that began to surface, a way to gain her trust without lying to her…But no, that was crazy. He couldn’t risk—

“Well, it’s late. I guess…guess I’ll turn in.” Nina’s soft voice broke into his tumultuous thoughts.

He sighed. “Yeah, you do that sweetheart. Go ahead—there’s a sleeping compartment in the back of the ship. You should be comfortable there.”

“But…well…” She hesitated, biting her lip. “Is there anything I can do to, uh, make you more comfortable? I mean, do you want a pillow…”

Reddix barked a laugh. “There you go again—being nice to me when I’m a kidnapping son-of-a-bitch. You ought to stop, Nina. I’m nothing but trouble for you—nothing but pain.”

She lifted her chin, and a defiant look came into her lovely blue and gold-flecked eyes. “I know that. But I told you—I can’t stand to see anyone hurting. It…bothers me.”

“Get over it,” Reddix said harshly. The fact that she was still concerned with his comfort while he was plotting to take her to the swamp witch gave him a sharp stab of guilt he couldn’t repress no matter how hard he tried. “Go to bed. Get some sleep.”

“Fine.” She crossed her arms over her breasts and frowned. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Fine. Whatever.” He looked away, forcing himself to keep his eyes off her ass this time as she went to the back of the ship. Why did he feel the need to provoke her? To push her buttons? To warn her that he would cause her nothing but pain?

She’s sweet and kind and compassionate and brave. She deserves better than this, he thought, sinking his chin to his chest and heaving a sigh. A hell of a lot better. I really am a bastard.

It wasn’t the first time he’d fallen asleep with thoughts of self-hatred running through his head, but when his guilty conscience finally let him sleep, he had the strangest dream…

* * * * *

“Careful with that crate! That’s live cargo, y’know!” A guard with a silver pain prod in one of his three sets of hands nodded warily at the thick, steel-wood slats of the massive cage. It was being lifted by hydro-blasts from the ship’s cargo hold, and the guard holding the controls wasn’t doing a very good job.

“Yeah, yeah—I know what it is,” the second guard growled, twisting the hover-knob to bring the cage higher and clear the ship’s hull. “Don’t worry—I know her worshipfulness, Lady Pope’nose wants him intact.”

“You don’t get it,” the first guard protested. “It’s the crate itself I’m worried about—you bash it around too much it’ll bust open. And then we’ll have to deal with the contents, y’know?”

“So what? It’s just another prisoner from the inner system,” the second one scoffed. “More meat for the Yonnie Six vag-mills.” He scratched his ear tufts with one of his six arms. “Sure am glad these bitches don’t find our kind attractive. I’d rather be dead than let some female subjugate me.”

“That’s exactly how these prisoners we bring them feel,” the first guard said grimly. “And you will be dead if he gets out. You know how many opponents this son-of-a-bitch put in the ground? One hundred and thirty-seven. More kills than any other slave on the Blood Circuit.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. They say he was unstoppable. And what’s more, he’s got a few more kills that weren’t sanctioned if you know what I mean. This bastard’s a class eight felon.”

“Class eight? Never seen a class eight before. The worse I ever transported was a six.” The second guard looked at the wooden cage he was guiding with more respect

“I did a seven once. Eight’s almost unheard of. That’s also why he’s been drugged to the gills with Ionian cluster juice.” The first guard shook his head. “I’ll be damned glad to drop this one off—just wish we had the Hurkon collar we were promised to deal with him.”

“I wondered about that,” the second one said. “Whatever happened to it? Thought we weren’t going to transport him without it.”

The first guard shrugged one of his three sets of shoulders. “Don’t know. Held up somewhere outside the system. Boss said go ahead with the transport anyway. I think Pope’nose must have paid him a shitload of credit to make the deal go through. He was supposed to go to the lockdown, but she wanted him as her personal slave.”

“Good thing the bastard is knocked out. Probably won’t be too happy when he wakes up and realizes he’s been put out to stud with a bitch like Pope’nose. He—” As the second guard spoke, something moved inside the cage. Spooked by the shifting contents and the flash of bright and angry eyes he saw between the slats, the guard jerked, dropping the hydro-blast controls. The cage immediately began to shift on its bed of closely controlled mist.

“Hey, watch it!” the first guard shouted, but the cage had already rammed a corner into the side of the cargo hold. The second guard grabbed for the controls with all six hands, fumbled and dropped them, ramming the cage again. The steel-wood slats gave an audible crack as some of them began to splinter and buckle. A massive hand appeared between them, groping for freedom.

“Goddess of Mercy…” The second guard gasped. “Your blaster—get it ready!”

“I’ve got it.” The first guard had his weapon trained on the ever-widening hole in the crate. “I’ll put him down for good if he tries anythi—”

His words were interrupted by a low, angry roar from the crate. Suddenly, the steel-wood slats burst apart as though they were no stronger than sugar sticks one might give to a youngling.

The prisoner was free.

“Shoot it!” the second guard screamed. “Shoot it—shoot it!”

His only answer was a gurgle. Turning his head, he saw a thick stake of steel-wood protruding from the other guard’s neck. Green blood poured from the severed vessels, coating all six hands and the blaster as the first guard sank helplessly to his four knees.

“The collar,” the second guard muttered wildly, scrambling to pull the blaster from the other guard’s clenched fist. “Never should have agreed to transport this bastard without the Hurkon collar…”

His muttering was cut off abruptly when a huge hand wrapped around his throat. The last thing he saw were two blazing white-blue eyes glaring into his. Slowly the eyes turned from the palest blue to blood red. And then they began to glow.

Then, nothing…

* * * * *

“What happened to the lights?”

Reddix blinked, trying to clear his head of the strange dream. What the hell had it been about? Some kind of prisoner being transported but they needed the Hurkon collar and didn’t have it…

“I said the lights are out—why?” Nina’s voice sounded high and frightened in the dark ship.

Reddix blinked again and realized it didn’t make a difference whether his eyes were open or closed—everything was still pitch black. He sat up with a groan. His arms and hands felt nearly dead from being cuffed over his head for hours.

“Reddix?” she said again, and he heard her coming toward him in the darkness.

“Don’t touch me,” he said sharply. “Stay right where you are—auxiliary power must have cut down to save energy.” At least he hoped that was what it was. If the ship’s generator was dying they were going to be in bad shape very shortly.

“I was just getting to sleep, and then the lights died.” From the sound of Nina’s voice she was pretty close by—standing right beside him. “And then I thought I heard noises,” she continued. “From outside. Do…do you think there are other, uh, people besides us here on this world?”

Reddix shrugged. “Could be. Last thing I saw on the console indicated a breathable atmosphere and Earth-normal gravity.”

“Oh.” Nina sounded more upset than ever. “Do you think…do you think they could get in?”

“No,” Reddix said shortly. “The ship’s hull is pretty solid, and I don’t think we sustained a breach during the crash.” He shifted around. “You got nothing to worry about sweetheart—although I could protect you better if something happened if my hands were free.”

“I don’t think so.” Nina’s voice became firmer. “I’m not going to let you use this situation to scare me into letting you go. For all I know you dimmed the lights on purpose somehow yourself. Maybe they’re voice activated or only respond to you, like the beacon.”

Reddix sighed. “That’s a nice little paranoia you’ve got going there. Look—forget about it. Just go back to be, and we’ll see what we can do in the morning.”

“Okay,” she said, but he could tell that she hadn’t moved a bit. She was still standing there right beside him in the dark. He could smell her warm, feminine scent and hear her soft breathing.

“Nina?” he said at last. “You all right?”

“I can’t sleep in there, okay?” she burst out. “It’s too big and dark and quiet, and I can hear every single noise outside the ship. And it’s cold—really cold. Even with all the blankets on I’m freezing.”

“Yeah, because without auxiliary power the ship doesn’t have much in the way of climate control. It’s on straight life-support now which means we get breathable air and not much else.”

“Oh,” she said again in a small voice. She still wasn’t budging, and without being able to feel her emotions, Reddix couldn’t figure out what she wanted. Then something occurred to him.

“You want to stay out here with me?” he asked.

“Yes!” She sounded infinitely relieved. “And I promise I won’t touch you—your skin, anyway. But I thought if I could sit beside you and cover both of us with a blanket it would be a lot warmer.”

Reddix wasn’t sure how to feel about this. On one hand, he knew he ought to keep her at an arm’s length—he was already way more involved with her than he ought to be. On the other, he wanted nothing more in the universe than to have her pressed close against him. He opened his mouth to send her away and heard himself say,

“Sure. Come on,”

“Oh, good.” There were some slow, careful scuffling noises, and then Nina was beside him on the floor. She threw a warm blanket over both of them and then cuddled against his side. “Is this all right?” she asked softly. “I’m not touching you, am I?”

“No,” Reddix said and it was true—she wasn’t touching his skin. But he could still feel the warmth of her soft, curvy body pressed against his chest. He got instantly hard, his shaft straining insistently against his flight trousers. He tried to will away his erection, but his body wasn’t listening—not that Reddix could blame it. Having her so close to him seemed to short-circuit his brain somehow.

Nina seemed oblivious to the problem she was causing. She leaned her head against his shoulder close enough that he could dip his face down and smell her hair if he wanted to. He knew he shouldn’t—that he should resist the temptation—but he couldn’t help himself. He bent his head and sniffed, inhaling deeply, breathing her in. She smelled like flowers and some other warm, sweet scent he couldn’t identify.

Nina shifted against him. “Um…are you smelling me?”

“Just your hair.” His voice sounded hoarse in his own ears. “It has a scent I’ve never smelled before. I thought it might be an Earth plant or—”

“It’s vanilla—Tahitian vanilla, my favorite shampoo.” She shifted again and pressed her face to his chest. “You smell good too. Really good. It…reminds me of all those dreams I had of you. I don’t know why, but it does.”

“I know why,” Reddix muttered. It was hard to believe, but it must be his mating scent. Though he had technically been dream sharing with Nina, he had never imagined his body would continue down that road, reacting to her as though she was his chosen mate. It ought to be impossible—his biology was all screwed up. He had an inverted Touch Sense—he could never bond a female to him even if he could stand to touch her skin-to-skin. Why was his body reacting this way to Nina, and how could he make it stop?

Well, you could ask her to get the fuck away from you, a sarcastic little voice in his head informed him. Yes, that would be a good start…but somehow he couldn’t make himself do it. This was the closest he had been to any female in over ten years—the closest he had wanted to be to any female. Nina was soft and warm, and she smelled amazing. Despite his uncomfortable position with his wrists bound above his head and the way his shaft was almost painfully hard from her proximity, it was wonderful. Reddix couldn’t bear to end it.

“Why?” she asked. “Why does your scent remind me of the dreams? And why were the dreams so…disturbing?”

“Why do you think they were disturbing?” he murmured, answering her question with a question. “You said they were nightmares. Was that just because you were afraid of me? Or that you thought I was hurting, in pain?”

“Well…” She shifted against him again. “Not exactly. They were also…”

“Yes?” he prompted, intrigued now.

“They were…arousing.” Her voice was so low he wouldn’t have heard it if she hadn’t been right up against him. “I mean, after I woke up from those dreams I was so…”

“Wet?” he finished for her in a low growl. His shaft throbbed painfully inside his trousers. Gods, she was killing him here.

“Yes,” Nina whispered. She shifted again and sat up. “I shouldn’t be doing this. Shouldn’t be talking like this with you,” she said, and he wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince herself or him.

“Why not?” he asked, though he was thinking the exact same thing.

“Because you kidnapped me—I can’t trust you. You’re my captor for God’s sake…”

“I was,” Reddix said mildly. “But it looks like you’re the captor now, sweetheart.”

“Still,” she insisted. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me—I should hate you…fear you. Instead, it’s like I’ve got the worst case of Stockholm syndrome ever.”

“Stockholm syndrome?” He frowned, wishing he could see her face.

“It’s where the person who’s been kidnapped begins to identify with their kidnapper,” she explained. “Begins to feel for them, to…”

“To care for them?” Reddix asked softly.

She sighed. “Maybe I should go sleep in the other room after all.”

“If you want to.” He tried to make his voice noncommittal, as though he didn’t care what she did. But he couldn’t help wanting her to stay. To stay and lay her head on his shoulder again so he could smell her warm scent and feel her softness against him. Goddess, what was wrong with him? He shouldn’t let himself feel this way. Nina had talked about Stockholm syndrome—what was the opposite case? Where the kidnapper started feeling for the person he’d kidnapped?

“You really don’t care if I go?” Her voice was small and hurt in the darkness. When Reddix didn’t answer she sighed. “I’m an idiot. I’ll go.” She started to get up.

“Don’t,” he said, unable to help himself. “I mean…it’s warmer with you here. Don’t go.”

She seemed to hesitate—in the darkness he could sense her indecision.

“I’ll stay,” she said at last. “If you’ll talk to me.”

“We ought to be sleeping,” he objected.

“I can’t sleep. I want to talk. I want you to tell me why you took me.”

“I won’t do that. Forget it—go sleep in the other room,” he growled.

“Fine.” She sighed, ignoring his order to leave. “But at least tell me about yourself. Tell me about your problem…your RTS. Why does it keep you from touching people?”

“That’s none of your Goddess damned business,” he snarled, feeling suddenly put on the defensive.

“But I’m asking anyway.” In the darkness, her voice was calm and steady…and completely relentless. “Come on, Reddix—you owe me some answers.”

Reddix felt himself breaking. She was right, and he couldn’t deny it—or her—any longer. If he was going to keep her and if he was ever going to win her trust, he had to give—at least a little.

He sighed. “Damn it…all right. All right, I’ll tell you…some.”

“Good. That’s better than nothing.” She leaned against him again, snuggling close so that her head was right under his chin. “Start talking.”

Reddix sighed. He didn’t want to talk about his RTS but not for the usual reasons—the humiliation of admitting what he was, and even worse, what he was lacking. No, the reason he didn’t want to talk about it was because he had a superstitious fear that the minute he explained his condition to Nina the blessed numbness that seemed to have enveloped him would end.

He knew it was ridiculous, but he was beginning to like this Earth girl he’d kidnapped—more than like her if he was honest with himself. In the short time he’d spent with her he’d had the longest, most complex conversations he’d had in a decade. He didn’t want that to end. Didn’t want to start trying to shield himself from her feelings. Didn’t want to start hating her for something she couldn’t help—the simple act of having emotions.

Still, she was listening expectantly, and he knew he had to go on. She was right—he owed her at least a partial explanation of why he had taken her, even if he couldn’t tell her what he had planned for her. The swamp witch…Goddess, could he really hand Nina over to that evil bitch? Reddix tried to push the idea out of his mind. Instead, he concentrated on telling her just enough…without telling too much.

“RTS…Reverse Touch Syndrome…only affects males of the Touch Kindred and usually only those with the Star Clan lineage,” he began. “I had no idea I had it until about ten years ago…”

He went through the whole explanation—skimming some over the more painful parts—but enough to give her a general idea of why he was the way he was. Nina listened quietly, asking the occasional question, and he wondered again what she was thinking—what she was feeling. It was still strange to have to wonder that about anyone. Though he didn’t miss being prodded and poked by someone else’s emotions, Reddix found that in Nina’s case at least, he desperately wanted to know.

“Wow,” she said at last when he finished. “So you feel everything everyone else feels but in a physical way, not just inside?”

“Normally. I’m numb right now—don’t know why. But I can’t ‘feel’ you,” Reddix admitted. And hope I never do, he added silently. It was foolish to voice that hope aloud—tempting fate—so he kept it to himself.

“I guess that’s a good thing. But…what if I was feeling happy? Aren’t positive emotions—?”

“It’s all bad—fucking invasive and miserable,” he said. “And even if it wasn’t—would you want to wear somebody else’s happiness all day like a hot, itchy coat you couldn’t take off?”

“I guess not,” Nina said thoughtfully. “And so…that’s why you didn’t want me to touch you?”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to,” he said gruffly. “It’s that I can’t stand it. If the numbness wears off…when it wears off, touching makes it worse. So much fucking worse.”

“But…not to be touched, even casually, for ten years. To hide yourself away, avoiding everyone, even the people you love because you can’t stand to be around them. That’s so…”

“Sad? Pathetic?” he asked harshly.

“Lonely.” Nina cuddled closer to him, nestling against his side. “So terribly lonely. Oh, Reddix…”

There was a soft sound in the darkness, and after a moment, he realized what she was doing.

“Are you crying?” he asked uncertainly. “For me?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t mean to be emotional. It’s just late, and I’m tired, and what you’re saying…it’s so sad. I just…I can’t imagine living like that.”

“You get used to it,” he said shortly but inside he was touched. She cared. Goddess knew why after what he had put her through, but Nina actually cared about him. No one other than Minda had shed tears for his sorry plight before. Reddix remembered the way his little sister had cried when she found him in his room, the bloody blade in his hands… No. He pushed the memory away. He didn’t want to think about anything but Nina, of the way she felt pressed against him, of the sweet scent of her hair.

“You shouldn’t have to get used to never touching anyone—to being so alone.” Nina sighed and sniffed. “I’m sorry. Maybe we should try to get some sleep.”

“Good idea.” Reddix shifted, trying to get a little more comfortable. “Good night, Nina.”

She yawned. “Night, Reddix.”

From the soft sound of her breathing and the way she relaxed against him, he could tell she’d gone to sleep almost at once. But though he was tired, Reddix stayed awake. He told himself he wanted to keep watch, to listen for the sounds outside the ship and make sure they were all right. But really he was afraid that while he slept the numbness would wear off, and he wouldn’t be able to stand being near Nina anymore. He wanted to savor the feeling of her pressed against him, to memorize the scent of her hair so he would never forget after this was over.

And he wanted to win her trust. The half formed idea he’d had before came back, and this time he allowed himself to consider it. It was extreme, but they were trapped on an unknown planet with the Goddess only knew what damage done to the ship. The situation called for extreme measures. Reluctantly, Reddix decided to do it.

There was no other way.

Chapter Fourteen

“I have an idea,” Reddix said the minute she opened her eyes.

“Hmm?” Nina blinked sleepily. She’d been having a dream about someone touching her—touching all over her body. Someone with big, warm hands who smelled incredible. A dark masculine spice still invaded her senses making the place between her legs feel achy and hot. She shifted and realized it was Reddix she’d been dreaming about—dreaming about his hands on her, his mouth covering hers and then moving lower, licking…teasing…tasting… And she was still draped all over him like a coat.

“Nina?” he said. “You all right?”

“Um, sure.” She sat up quickly, feeling her cheeks get red. God, what a time for a wet dream! She wondered if she’d been making any noises in her sleep—she seemed to remember begging him to do more, to go further… God, what must he think of her?

“I said, I have an idea,” he repeated patiently.

“Oh yes? What?” She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to pull herself together. “Sorry, I was…having a weird dream.”

“I could tell.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “You were moaning in your sleep.”

“I was?” Nina felt her cheeks get even hotter.

“Uh-huh.” He looked at her more closely. “Care to tell me what you were dreaming about?”

“I…uh…I don’t remember,” she lied, looking away hurriedly. “I only know it was…weird.”

“Mmm-hmm.” He was still staring at her in a way that made her feel hot and cold at the same time. Damn it, he was the enemy. Why did he have to smell so good and look so hot?

“Your idea,” she said desperately. “You said you had an idea—what was it? And is it daytime?” The interior of the ship was still dim, but at least she could see. There seemed to be some soft, purplish light pouring in from the windshield area at the front of the ship.

“Or what passes for it on this ball of rock,” he said dismissively. “Listen to me, Nina—I need to talk to you.”

The urgency in his tone cut through her embarrassment and the lingering discomfort of her dream. “What is it?”

He took a deep breath. “I need to get out of these cuffs. If I don’t, I’ll never be able to assess the damage to the ship and see if I can fix it.”

Nina opened her mouth to protest, but he shook his head.

“Just listen. I need to get out, but you need a way to trust me—to keep me in line.” He gave her a lopsided smile. “I think I know how we can manage that.”

She frowned. “What—are you going to swear on a stack of Bibles you won’t hurt me and you’ll take me straight back to Earth?”

He shook his head, regretfully she thought. “I can’t do that. But I will swear to call a truce with you at least until I get the ship fixed. And in order for you to trust me, I’m prepared to offer you some assurance.”

Nina crossed her arms over her chest. “What kind of assurance? You’re huge. How do I know the minute I unlock the cuffs you won’t just jump me?”

“Because,” he said evenly. “I’m going to let you put the Hurkon collar on me.”

“What? No way!” she exclaimed. “You just got finished telling me how scary that thing is, and now you want me to put it on you?”

“It’s the only way,” he said. “You put it on me, and you have the controls. You can keep your finger on the pain button the entire time if you want to. When we reach some kind of agreement, you can take it off me. Until then, you’ll at least know you can trust me to walk around and get the ship fixed.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “You think that would make you feel safe?”

“Well, yes… but I still don’t like it.” Nina frowned.

“Like it or not, this is the only option. I can’t stay cuffed to the food prep counter forever,” he growled. “And I can’t promise to take you straight back to Earth—not now, anyway.”

What he was saying made a twisted kind of sense. Nina had to admit she would feel much safer and more secure about her future with the big Kindred if he was wearing the collar and she had the controls. Still, it was hard to believe Reddix, who didn’t seem like the trusting type, would be willing to put himself so completely at her mercy.

“So I’ll trust you more with the collar on,” she said. “But how do you know you can trust me? What’s to stop me from pressing the pain button just for the hell of it?” Of course, she would never do any such thing, but she was curious to hear what he would say.

He gave her a level look.

“You wouldn’t do that—you’re a healer. And you have compassion, even for your kidnapper.”

“What if I don’t, though?” Nina didn’t like the fact that he was so sure of her, and the silver eyes trained on her face made her nervous.

“You do,” he said quietly. “You wept for me last night. No one besides my little sister ever cried for me so. I trust you, Nina—enough to wear the collar and let you hold the controls. And if that’s what it takes to help you trust me, even a little, then I’ll gladly do it.”

The sincerity in his deep, harsh voice couldn’t be faked. Nina looked at him for a long moment, holding his gaze with her own though it made her heart pound strangely in her chest. Finally, she nodded.

“All right,” she said at last. “Let me put on the gloves, and I’ll get the collar.”

Lifting the Hurkon collar off its velvet cushion, Nina once again got the feeling that the thing was aware of her. Its red, green, and blue lights began blinking faster, and she could almost feel it trembling in her fingers as she held it.

“I don’t like this thing,” she muttered bringing it carefully to Reddix.

“You’d be a fool or a sadist if you did,” he said grimly. Shaking back his hair, he lifted his chin. “All right, put it on me.”

The collar in her hands was practically vibrating now, with anticipation, Nina thought. It was almost as though it couldn’t wait to jump onto Reddix’s neck. She could tell the big Kindred wanted to get this over with but still, she hesitated.

“Wait a minute,” she objected. “How are you going to, uh, feed it? Didn’t you say it survived on strong emotions?”

He laughed harshly. “You really think I don’t have enough strong emotions to feed the collar? I’ll be a fucking all you can eat feast for the damn thing. Now come on—hurry up and put it on me. It makes me nervous to watch you holding it.”

It occurred to Nina that he was afraid the collar might twist in her hands and try to hurt her somehow. All at once she felt like she was holding a poisonous snake that might strike at any time. She still had deep misgivings about putting the thing on Reddix, but he seemed so insistent about it. It’s not forever. I can always take it off him, she told herself uneasily. Everything will be okay—won’t it? She hoped like hell it would, anyway.

Slowly, carefully, she unhooked the simple clasp at the back of the black filigreed metal collar and placed it gently around the strong column of Reddix’s throat. The moment it made contact with his skin, the lights began blinking even faster. Nina started to fasten it in the back…and found that it was already fastened. It had hooked itself in place with no help from her.

Reddix must have seen the look on her face.

“Everything all right?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I went to fasten it in place, but it was already on.”

He frowned. “Fucking eager , isn’t it?”

“I guess.” Nina was still shaken. She looked at him anxiously. “Are you all right? Is it hurting you?”

He shook his head. “Not a bit. And it’s so light I can barely feel it.” He jerked his head at the cabinet. “Get the controller, and I’ll show you how to work it.”

“All right.” Nina got the small keychain looking controller with its three blinking lights and brought it around to where he could see it.

“The green button is the pain button,” Reddix explained. “You press it, I’ll be in instant agony. Needless to say, don’t fucking do it unless you feel threatened. And I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you don’t.”

Nina nodded. “Okay. What does the blue button do?”

“Stops the pain. So you shouldn’t need to press it unless you press the green one first.”

“And the red one?” she asked, indicating the last blinking button.

“Be careful with that one—very fucking careful,” he growled. “That’s the kill switch.”

“The kill switch?” Nina looked at the blinking red button in horror. “You mean if I accidentally pressed it I could kill you? That’s horrible!”

“No, no—it won’t really kill me. I’ll just wish I was dead.” Reddix sounded grim. “It delivers a jolt to the central nervous system that knocks you completely off-line. You press that, I’ll be down and out of it for at least an hour. Press it too often, and it could lead to permanent nerve damage. So try to keep your pretty little fingers off it, okay?”

“Okay.” Nina nodded nervously. She was about to drop the little controller into her front scrub pocket, but it didn’t seem safe—she was afraid she might press one of the buttons by accident.

“Don’t worry,” Reddix said, clearly understanding her hesitation. “Each button has a plasti-flex shield over it. You have to slide them aside in order to press one.”

“Oh.” Nina examined the controller more closely. Sure enough, each little button was covered by a clear dome of what looked like plastic which had to be slid to one side before the button could be pressed. Feeling better about it, she dropped the controller into her scrub pocket after all.

“And now if you’re feeling safe and sound, I’d appreciate being let out of these damn restraint cuffs.” Reddix sounded impatient.

“Oh. Of course.” Nina fished the other controller out of her pocket and pressed the release button. At once, the copper-colored restraints opened, and the big Kindred’s hands were free.

“Goddess!” He rubbed his wrists and flexed his arms. Then, slowly, he got to his feet.

Nina had been about to take a step toward him, to offer to massage his shoulders again. But as he rose to his full, intimidating height, she found herself taking a step back instead. God, he was just so huge. And though she knew he didn’t mean to be threatening, when his dark hair hung in his face, shadowing his features, she couldn’t help thinking of her dreams…the dreams of the bear.

“You okay?” He took a step toward her and her hand went instinctively to the agony collar’s controls, still nestled safely in her scrub pocket. Would he try to take it from her now that he was free? Had his insistence on wearing the collar all been just a big show to get her to trust him and let him go free?

“Hey, hey…” Reddix held up both hands in a gesture of peace when he saw her fingers dip into her pocket. “No need for that, sweetheart. I’m not going to hurt you—I swear it.”

“All right.” Nina nodded but took another step back anyway. “I know you’re not. It’s just…you’re so big.”

“I’m not that big—you’re just so little,” he countered, a hint of a smile playing around his sensuous mouth.

“I’m five-ten—that’s really tall for a woman,” she protested. “I had to wear flats to the prom in high school because my date was only five-nine.”

He shrugged, his broad shoulders rolling.

“I don’t know what a ‘prom’ is, but I’ve seen your puny Earth males. I’m not surprised you were taller than the one you chose to go with.”

“They’re not all puny,” Nina objected. “My ex was six foot—well, five-eleven anyway.”

He shrugged again. “I don’t know your Earth measurement system. How tall would you say I am?”

Nina eyed him. “I was wondering that earlier. I’d say…at least six foot seven or eight, and your shoulders are really broad. It’s…a little scary.”

“Nina…” He ducked his head to look into her eyes. “I won’t hurt you—I swear it,” he rumbled softly. “Can you please just try to trust me? At least a little?”

“I’ll try.” She took a hesitant step toward him, looking up into his shadowed face. “It would be easier if you’d get a shave and a haircut. You’d look less wild…less scary.”

He sighed. “I know I need one. I just don’t enjoy wading through the inane feelings of whoever cuts my hair.”

Nina smiled eagerly. “I can cut hair. My mom was a stylist, and I practically grew up in her shop. One of the first things I learned to do was—” She stopped abruptly. “Unless…are you feeling me today?” she asked hesitantly. “My emotions, I mean?”

He shook his head, a look of relief passing over his face. “I’m still numb. Don’t know why, but it’s nice. More than nice. Fucking amazing. To be able to be near you…to talk to you.” He took another step toward her and reached out one large hand. For a moment, Nina was sure he was going to cup her cheek. She could actually feel the heat of his palm.

“Reddix?” she asked softly, looking up at those hooded silver eyes.

“To be able to touch you,” he whispered in that deep, gravelly voice. “Goddess, if only I could…”

The lights on the Hurkon collar were suddenly blinking faster—almost as fast as Nina’s heart was pounding in her chest. It was her dream all over again. The one she’d had where he was touching her, running his hands all over her body, kissing her, tasting her…

“You can,” she murmured. “If you want to. I…I won’t try to stop you.”

“No.” He dropped his hand abruptly and moved past her, being careful not to touch her skin.

“Reddix?” she asked uncertainly.

“I have to see to the ship,” he growled. “We’ve wasted enough time already.”

And with that, he was gone, disappearing into the back of the ship and leaving her there alone, aching for his touch even though she knew she shouldn’t be.

* * * * *

Reddix jerked open the engine compartment and held up the glow rod he’d grabbed from the emergency locker he’d found. Then he stood there surveying the guts of the ship. He was staring for almost a full minute before he realized he wasn’t seeing anything but Nina’s face.

Goddess damn it, what was wrong with him? Why was he letting her affect him this way? And why had he almost touched her? That would have broken the blessed numbness for sure—would have shattered his fragile peace like a heavy boulder heaved into still waters. And yet, the urge to take her in his arms, to kiss her, touch her, to make skin-to-skin contact which was something he hadn’t voluntarily done with any female in over ten years was so strong he had to physically restrain himself from turning and going back to the main part of the ship.

This is stupid, he lectured himself angrily. There’s nothing special about this Earth girl. It’s just been a long time since I was able to talk to anyone, to be around them without wanting to crawl out of my own fucking skin. I’m just…Pathetic, sad, disgusting, stupid…all the harsh words he could apply to himself, any of them fit. Yet the one that rose to the surface of his mind was Nina’s. Lonely, she’d said. It must be so lonely.

Yes, that was it. He was so fucking lonely. He felt like a man who’d spent the last ten years in solitary confinement. But now, suddenly, he was out in the open air, breathing free at last, soaking in the sunshine. And Nina was the sun.

Reddix choked off that particular image as quickly as he could. Nina was nothing special. And as soon as this last bout of numbness ended he would start hating her just like he hated all the other pretty girls who stared at him with lust, making his flesh crawl with the strength of their petty emotions.

Get to work, he lectured himself. You haven’t got all day—however long a day lasts here. It might be really short—so get going while you still have some light to work with if you need to make outside repairs.

Taking his own advice, he began digging into the engine. But no matter how he tried, he couldn’t get the picture of Nina standing there, waiting for his touch. Couldn’t stop hearing her soft words when he’d wanted to touch her. “You can,” she’d said, her gold flecked eyes drowning deep. “If you want to.”

Gods how he wanted to. But he knew he couldn’t.

Chapter Fifteen

Nina sat up front in the pilot’s chair, wishing she could do something—anything—but think of Reddix. For a while she hunted for the emergency beacon, even though he had said it would do her no good without a Kindred’s handprint. It seemed important that she at least know where the damn thing was although she didn’t know what good the knowledge would do her. She imagined a scenario where she held her finger over the green agony button on the Hurkon collar’s controls and threatened to shock him if he didn’t activate the beacon. But somehow she just couldn’t picture herself really going through with it.

You might have to do more than just picture it, eecho, Mehoo-Jimmy’s voice warned in her mind. It might be the only way to get home again. You do what you have to in order to make that happen.

Yes, Nina supposed she would. If it came right down to it, she wanted to survive and see her home planet again. Still, she hoped it wouldn’t come to that. She hated the idea of threatening Reddix when he had willingly placed himself in her power by wearing the agony collar.

Face it, Nina, she told herself. You don’t want to upset or threaten him because you’re starting to feel for him. Which is about the stupidest thing you could possibly do.

She knew it was true, but who could help feeling for him once they’d heard the big Kindred’s story? Nina was a very demonstrative person herself—she tended to touch a lot with those she loved—it was just the way she’d been raised. If someone was happy, you hugged them. If someone was sad or grieving, you put your arm around their shoulders. Kisses on the cheek, backrubs, squeezing a hand to show sympathy and support…these gestures were as much a part of her vocabulary as the words she spoke. The idea of never being able to touch anyone she loved, of never being able to let them touch her…it was pretty much the worst thing she could imagine. And for it to continue that way for ten years…

He must be so hungry, she couldn’t help thinking. So hungry to touch and be touched. Once more she remembered the heat of his palm as his big hand hovered over her cheek. She’d almost felt the longing emanating from him. The need to make contact however briefly…

A movement outside the windshield of the ship caught her eye. The planet outside was, as far as she could tell, a vast plane filled with high pale purple-gray grass. It waved gently and monotonously under the pale green sky, and Nina had long since stopped staring at it. Except for the strange colors, she might almost be on a Midwestern prairie on Earth.

But now the purple grass seemed to be ruffling in a different direction—almost as though something was coming toward her—toward the ship. Nina sat up straight in the pilot’s chair and leaned forward, staring intently at the scene outside the ship. What was happening?

Suddenly, an object came sailing out of the air and hit the windshield with a heavy thump.

“Oh!” Nina gasped and sat back in the oversized chair, one hand pressed between breasts. What had hit the ship?

She tried to sort out her confused impressions. It had been big and round and dark gray—about the size of a beach ball. In fact, it had looked remarkably like a beach ball. But the thud against the side of the ship had been substantial—as though the thing had weighed a ton—more in the neighborhood of a medicine ball you might find in an old fashioned gym than a child’s inflatable toy.

The tall grass ruffled outside the ship again, and Nina felt a chill go through her. Who was out there? And were they going to start lobbing more things at the ship? It had already been shot up by the police back home and battered by the wormhole and the crash landing—how much more abuse could the little craft take?

Suddenly, Reddix appeared right behind her.

“What was that?” he demanded, his voice a low, threatening growl. “I felt something.”

“An object hit the ship—something dark gray and round,” Nina said. She eyed the sleek black weapon in his fist. “What’s that?”

“A blaster,” he said shortly. “I was hoping whatever might live on this planet would leave us alone until we got out of here. But if they want to get aggressive, I’m ready.”

“Good.” Nina was a firm proponent of gun control back home, but that was because she firmly believed nobody ought to be able to buy an assault rifle for “self-defense.” Here in the wilds on this Godforsaken planet a million light years from home, she found herself hoping that Reddix’s weapon had plenty of stopping power. This was a place where an assault rifle or something similar might come in handy.

The grass outside ruffled again, and then something came into view—something huge.

Nina had spent years babysitting a little boy who lived down the block from her who was obsessed with dinosaurs. Having watched plenty of documentaries on the prehistoric monsters, she thought this alien creature looked kind of like…

“It’s a triceratops,” she muttered.

Reddix frowned. “What?”

Nina shook her head. “Nothing. It’s…it looks like an animal that used to live on Earth millions of years ago. Well, kind of, anyway.”

Because this triceratops was covered in long, bright purple hair. Also, its three horns seemed to wiggle strangely—that was until she realized they weren’t horns at all but tentacles.

“Oh my God,” she whispered, putting a hand to her mouth. “It’s not really a triceratops at all. What is that thing?”

“Nothing good.” Reddix sounded grim, and he tightened his grip on the blaster.

“What do we do?” Nina asked.

“Nothing. We wait. Watch it through the viewscreen.” He gestured at what Nina had been thinking of as the windshield. “If it leaves us alone, we leave it alone. If it bothers us—menaces the ship—I’ll go out and give it a little incentive to make itself scarce.”

“Oh,” Nina whispered. She stared again at the big purple triceratops thing. When it jerked its head up and down, the long hair flopped out of its face, and she could see three big, glaring yellow eyes at the top of its head, just under the two tentacles placed on its forehead. The gesture reminded her of a sheep dog jerking its head to get the hair out of its eyes—if a sheep dog was huge and weighed two or three tons, that was.

The thing came right up to the ship and actually put its long, beak-like snout right up to the viewscreen. The horn-tentacle on the tip of its nose waved against the glass like an elephant’s trunk. It made snuffling noises and nudged the screen, making Nina gasp and shrink back farther into the chair.

“Is it…can it get in? Can it break the glass?” she asked Reddix in a whisper.

He shook his head. “Don’t think so. But a creature that size could do considerable damage if it wanted to. Let’s hope it loses interest.”

But the purple tentacled triceratops didn’t seem to be losing interest at all. In fact, if anything, it was becoming even more intrigued by the ship. It snuffled all over the viewscreen and then lowered its massive head and began snuffling the underbelly of the ship. Nina gripped the armrests of the pilot’s chair, her knuckles white, as she heard its deep sniffing sounds coming from somewhere beneath her feet.

Then the ship lurched.

She gave a muffled shriek and nearly tumbled out of the chair. Only Reddix’s hand on her shoulder saved her. There was another lurch, more violent than before, and the ship shook.

“What is it—what’s it doing?” she gasped.

“Trying to turn the ship over—trying to make us vulnerable. That’s it.” He stalked toward the door. “I’m going out.”

“Be careful!” Nina begged.

“Don’t worry. I won’t be long.” He slapped open the door switch, and a blast of cold, strange smelling air suddenly filled the cabin. Nina took a deep breath, and alien scents filled her lungs—sweet and bitter at the same time. She felt suddenly light-headed, but she couldn’t tell if it was something in the air or her own fear. She did know one thing though—she couldn’t just sit here while Reddix went out and risked himself. There had to be something she could do to help.

Standing up, she glanced around the ship until her eyes fell on a long metal bar hanging on one wall. She wasn’t sure what it was used for normally, but it looked like it would make a good weapon. Not as good as Reddix’s deadly looking blaster but better than nothing. Grabbing the metal bar, she held it poised in front of her and followed him out of the ship.

“What in the Seven Hells are you doing out here?” Reddix growled over his shoulder as she stepped out. “Get back inside.”

“No.” Nina lifted her chin and gripped the metal bar tighter. “I can’t just sit there and do nothing.”

“You can, and you will. Now get—” His angry words were cut off when the purple furry triceratops suddenly reappeared. To Nina’s surprise, it had the big gray beach ball looking thing in its beaked mouth. When it noticed Nina and Reddix, it cocked its head to one side, regarding them with one of its yellow eyes that wasn’t covered in hair. Its three tentacles waved in what might have been interest, but at least it made no move to approach them.

“Gods that thing is massive,” Reddix growled. “At least stay behind me, Nina. Don’t make yourself a target.”

“So you can make yourself one? I don’t think so.” She choked up some more on her metal “bat.” “I’m staying right here.”

“Damn stubborn Earth female,” he snarled and then ended with what sounded like a low curse in his own language.

“That’s right I am,” Nina said firmly. “And I—” But just then the tall grass parted again and a new form came into place. “Oh…” she whispered breathlessly.

The new creature was also huge but not in the short, squat, chunky way of the furry triceratops. It was tall and slender—as tall as a giraffe at least, Nina thought. It walked on two legs and had two arms—well, two tentacles, she amended to herself—and it was also covered in short, light purple fur. Three bright green and purple eyes stared at them from its furry face, and its mouth yawned open, revealing sharp blue teeth.

Nina wasn’t one to faint when confronted with danger, but she was feeling decidedly light-headed at this point. Her heart was skittering in her chest and her blood was pumping so fast she felt like she would pass out from the adrenaline rush. She was so afraid she felt cold all over.

But then the thing took another step forward and she felt something else—a warm, gentle curiosity washed over her. A childlike wonder at finding something new, something perhaps fun to play with.

Toy? New toy?

The thought seemed to enter her brain more in pictures than in words, but Nina found that she understood them perfectly. And she further realized that she hadn’t thought them herself—the words and the sense of curiosity and wonder had come from the strange creature towering over them in the purple grass.

“Reddix,” she breathed, not taking her eyes from the thing. “It’s…feeling at me. I can hear it inside my head.”

“I know.” The strained, harsh sound of her voice forced Nina to tear her eyes from the alien being and look at the big Kindred. What she saw made her instantly worried.

There was a tight look on Reddix’s face—a look of sheer agony, as though he was keeping himself from bellowing in pain only by sheer force of will. The lights on the Hurkon collar were going crazy as though it was soaking up his pain even though it hadn’t caused it.

All of a sudden, Nina understood. His RTS, oh my God! If I can feel this thing’s emotions, how much worse can he feel them? And what is feeling them doing to him?

From the grim, pained look on his face the answer was clear. As she watched, a slow trickle of dark red blood came from his nose. This thing, whatever it was, was poison for him. It was hurting him—overloading him.

“Nina,” he said in a low, hoarse voice. “Get back in the ship. Now.”

“No—I won’t leave you. Not like this.” He looked terrible—worse every second. Without thinking she did what she always did to comfort someone—she reached out to touch him.

As her hand closed over his bare forearm, Nina felt a shiver go through him. Then he looked at her, his face filled with wonder.

“What did you do?” he asked hoarsely. “How did you do it? How did you turn it off?”

“Turn what off?” Nina asked, honestly confused.

“The feelings—the thing’s emotions. When you touch me—”

“When I—Oh!” Suddenly, she realized what she was doing—touching him skin-to-skin with nothing between them. Panicked, she pulled her hand away.

Reddix staggered and nearly went to his knees.

“No! Oh, Goddess, it’s back.”

Nina looked around wildly to see why his condition was worse and understood. The tall alien creature was coming toward them and when she concentrated on it, she could feel even more intense curiosity and interest coming from it.

Toy? Doll? it sent as waves of inquisitiveness washed over them.

“No, no.” Nina shook her head and waved her arms at it. “Go away! Go away.”

But the thing was already reaching for her with one huge, loopy tentacle. Nina gasped as it curled around her waist and pulled her high into the air. She was suddenly right up close to it—hovering in front of its face and staring into the three bright purple and green eyes, each one as big as a dinner plate.

Mothers One and Three promised a new toy. Dolls to play with. Must be careful though. Spaker will want to chew them. Here a thought vision of the furry purple triceratops flashed across Nina’s mind—clearly it was a pet. Can’t let him hurt the new dolls. He can chew the boji-ball instead, the alien thoughts continued.

The thoughts came much more clearly now that she was touching the thing. Though, confusingly, they seemed to come to her in a rush of bright, crudely drawn pictures. It was like flipping through a child’s book of paintings and trying to understand the story they were telling. They also had a distinctly feminine feel to them—though why she thought so, Nina couldn’t say. She just knew it was true.

A little girl, she thought with a shock of recognition. Why, she’s just a little girl—no matter how big she is.

“No, no,” she told the huge little girl. “I’m not a doll. I’m an adult—put me down.” She tried to send feelings of sternness toward the alien child, but just as she felt it beginning to respond with emotions of contrite regret, she heard Reddix shouting.

“Keep calm,” he yelled up at Nina. “The minute it moves you away from its face I’m shooting.”

To her horror, Nina saw that he was still holding the blaster aimed at the alien’s head. Clearly he was just waiting for a clear shot.

“What? No—no!” She shook her head at him frantically. “No, Reddix—can’t you feel it? Can’t you understand? She’s just a little girl! A little girl out playing ball with her…her dog-thing.” She gestured down at Spaker, who was still looking at Reddix with a cocked head, the gray beach ball clutched firmly in his mouth.

“Doesn’t matter what it is, I’m not letting it hurt you.” The big Kindred looked, if anything, even worse than before. With a shock, Nina realized he was almost out of his mind with pain. The blood was pouring freely from his nose now, and she had the distinct impression he was keeping himself from passing out by sheer force of will. The blue, green and red lights on his collar were blinking so fast they were nothing but a blur. Again she had the distinct impression that the alien child’s emotions—loud, primitive, and extremely bright—were overloading him.

Have to do something, she thought wildly. Or he’s going to have an aneurism—blow a blood vessel. He can’t go on like this—it’s killing him!

Then everything seemed to happen at once. The huge little girl started to stoop to put her down, and Spaker dropped the ball and made a low, hoarse rak-rak-rak sound that Nina supposed must be his version of barking. She saw Reddix’s finger tighten on the blaster’s trigger, and a fresh gout of blood poured from his nose.

Without letting herself think, Nina reached past the loop of furry tentacle around her waist and dived into her pocket. Finding the Hurkon collar’s control unit, she felt for the last button and slipped the little plastic shield to one side. Just before Reddix could shoot, she pressed the kill switch.

He gave a low groan, and his silver eyes rolled up in his head. Then he crumpled to the ground—out cold.

Chapter Sixteen

Reddix opened his eyes to see Nina’s lovely face hovering anxiously over his own.

“Reddix?” she asked softly, her blue eyes filled with worry. “Are you all right? Do you feel okay?”

“Except for the fact that my head feels like I drank an entire bottle of fireflower juice before passing out.” He put a hand to his temple gingerly and winced at the throbbing pain. “Gods, what happened?”

“I pushed the kill switch.” Nina looked ashamed but defiant. “I know you said not to, but you were in such bad shape. Lona’s emotions were overwhelming you and—”

“Wait a minute.” He held up a hand. “Who’s Lona?”

“Oh—that’s the little girl who found us. She and her pet, Spaker, were playing ball and she threw it too far—that’s what hit our ship—her boji ball. And so—”

“You mean to tell me that thing that attacked us was a child?” he interrupted her again.

“Couldn’t you tell?” Nina asked. “It was really obvious to me. She was just curious about us—she thought we were some new kind of dolls. Two of her mothers had promised her some new toys, and she thought we were it.”

“Two of her mothers?” Reddix shook his head. “What kind of society is this?”

“A really nice one, actually,” Nina said reassuringly. “They took us in after I, uh, knocked you out, and their healer has been looking after you ever since.”

“They took us in?” Reddix stared around the dim room he found himself in, realizing for the first time that he was no longer on the ship. “What the hell?” he growled at Nina. “Why did you let them take us from the only safe place on this entire ball of dirt?”

A frown creased her forehead. “Because I was worried I’d killed you, all right? Do you know how long you’ve been out? Three days. You told me the kill switch would only put you under for an hour, and so I waited an hour, but you wouldn’t wake up. Reddix, I’ve been sitting here with you day and night worried to death that you were never going to open your eyes again. I…I…”

Her own eyes were suddenly bright with tears, and she turned away.

“Hey…” Her emotions still bewildered him, mostly because he couldn’t feel them. That’s right, he realized. I can’t feel them—the numbness is back. But was it really numbness? Reddix frowned, remembering the brief respite he’d had from the alien’s emotions when Nina had grabbed his arm. Could it be…but no, that was impossible—wasn’t it?

“I thought I killed you,” she said again, her voice muffled.

“I’m okay, sweetheart. Really I am,” he said, trying to be reassuring. Actually, aside from his pounding head, he didn’t feel too bad. He sat up in bed—or the low sleeping platform that passed for a bed, anyway—and looked around.

The room he found himself in seemed to belong to a primitive, pre-technical society. Most of the implements he saw were made of natural materials. A mat woven of the tall purple grass covered the packed dirt floor, and the furniture was made of some kind of silvery-gray wood. The blanket that covered him seemed to be made of coarse dark purple animal fur. The craftsmanship was excellent, but there was no sign of anything plastic or electronic. In fact, there was hardly even any metal in the room. The small space was lit by a fire, which flickered with gold and blue flames in a stone fireplace across from the bed.

Blue and gold, just like her eyes. He looked at Nina again to see if she was still upset. He caught her in the act of hastily wiping her cheeks, and when she looked at him, her chin was lifted defiantly.

“Don’t die on me, okay?” she said, pointing a finger at him. “You’re not allowed to do that. You dragged me here, and you’re going to get me home…eventually.”

“Eventually,” Reddix agreed gravely. “So…” He tried to lighten the mood. “Tell me more about this place. What are the natives like besides ‘really nice’?”

“It’s actually fascinating and quite complex.” Nina turned to face him more fully, her lovely face animated, the firelight reflected in her eyes. “The adults are smaller than the children—they’re about our size. Well, my size, anyway.”

“That’s good to hear.” He looked around the room which did seem to be made to accommodate someone from Nina’s home planet. “If they got much bigger they’d be fucking monsters.”

“As far as I can tell they hatch from some kind of egg. They start out really big and shrink as they get older,” Nina said. “I think that’s one reason each child has multiple parents—it’s the only way they can handle them.”

“Makes sense.” Reddix nodded.

“They also communicate via emotions. It’s kind of like their feelings make a picture in your head that turns into words. Weird but effective.” Nina bit her lip. “I’m afraid that might be a problem for you although the adults—especially the elders—seem to have much quieter feelings than the kids.”

Reddix frowned. “That is a problem. Normal emotions are hard enough but when they’re fucking broadcasting them…” He shook his head. “I thought my head was going to explode.”

“I thought so too,” Nina said in a low voice. “That was the reason I pressed the kill switch. I’ve explained as much as I can to them that it’s a problem for you, and I’ve been keeping everyone but the healer away from your room.”

Reddix was touched. “Been standing watch over me while I was out, huh?” he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

Nina’s cheeks got pink. “Somebody had to. I wasn’t sure if your RTS was a problem while you were unconscious or not, but I didn’t want to take a chance.”

“Thank you.” He held her eyes with his own for a moment, wishing he dared to touch her. “You didn’t have to do that but thanks anyway.”

“Yes, I did,” she countered. “You’re my way out of here, remember? Even if you don’t want to take me home right away.”

“You don’t have to worry about that right now,” he reminded her gently. “You’ve got the controls to the collar, remember?”

“About that…” Nina looked uncomfortable. “About the collar…it was lighting up like crazy the entire time we were meeting Lona—blinking like a Christmas tree. Almost like it was…feeding on you.”

“That’s exactly what it was doing,” Reddix said grimly. “Didn’t I tell you it lives on extreme emotions? It probably thought I was a fucking banquet.”

“Well, I didn’t like it.” Nina frowned. “And afterward when you were out, I thought maybe it had something to do with why you weren’t waking up. So I tried to take it off.”

Reddix frowned and reached up his fingers to feel the cool metal collar still encircling his throat. “What do you mean you tried?”

“Exactly what I said—I tried.” Nina looked truly troubled now. “But, Reddix, it wouldn’t come off. No matter what I did, it wouldn’t come off.”

* * * * *

He frowned at her, and Nina wondered if he really understood. She tried to explain that she’d tried everything—even cutting the collar off—but nothing had worked. It had resisted all attempts to be removed, and when she’d taken a pair of pliers to the damn thing, it had actually shocked her—delivering such a stinging, painful jolt she was forced to abandon the attempt.

“It’s really creepy,” she told Reddix. “I wish we’d never put it on you.”

“Well, it’s on now,” he said grimly. “And we can’t—”

Just then the light grass fiber door swung open, and the alien Nina had begun to know as “Healing One” came in. He was small—no bigger than a child, which conveyed his great age since these people shrank as they grew older—and covered in short grayish fur. His three eyes were a faded purple and seemed to have a kindly, patient expression in them whenever he looked at her.

“Greetings,” he sent to Nina, using feelings of warm welcome and calmness to form the words in her brain.

Beside her on the low bed, Reddix winced, a look of pain crossing his chiseled features. “Shit,” she heard him mutter as he put a hand to his temple.

“Hello, Healing One,” she answered aloud, trying as much as she could to put herself between Reddix and the alien. She didn’t know if she could block the flow of emotions from the healer to the big Kindred, but she was determined to try. “My…friend is awake. But he is still in some pain.” She was doing her best to send emotion/thought signals to match her words, but she wasn’t sure how to explain Reddix’s RTS to the alien healer. It seemed to defy description—at least with the limited vocabulary she’d been able to amass in the past few days.

“Must examine him,” Healing One sent back with pictures of his gray tentacles sliding gently over Reddix’s face and body.

“No!” Reddix sat back in bed. “This is bad enough. If it touches me—”

“You can’t touch him,” Nina tried to send thought messages—images of Healing One touching Reddix with a big red X through them. “It might hurt him. He’s…sensitive.”

“Sen…si…tive?” Healing One sent feelings of confusion and uncertainty.

Nina felt a surge of frustration. How could she convey what needed to be said? How could she make the alien healer understand?

“Must examine,” Healing One sent more firmly. “A matter of honor.”

“He’s saying he has to look at you. I think it’s some kind of doctor code thing or something,” Nina said.

“Yeah, I can fucking tell. It’s like he’s yelling it in my ear ‘til I’m half deaf,” Reddix growled.

Nina glanced at him anxiously, worried that his nose would start to bleed again.

“Are you okay?”

He frowned. “I won’t be if he touches me. Unless…”

“What?” she asked, still watching him apprehensively for signs of overload.

“Touch me.” Reddix held out a hand to her.

“Touch you? No!” She shied away from his offered hand. “You told me not to. You said touching makes your RTS worse.”

“Fuck what I said,” he snarled, then sighed. “I’m sorry, the, uh, healer alien’s emotions are so loud it’s really hard to think. Look, I could be wrong about this, but I want to try something. So touch me, Nina—take my hand. Please.” He held out his hand again, more insistently this time.

“Well, if you’re sure…” Hesitantly Nina took the offered hand. It was as warm as she had imagined it would be and so much larger than hers she felt like a child holding hands with a grownup.

Reddix’s silver eyes widened as his long fingers closed over hers. “Goddess,” he muttered hoarsely. “It’s not just a period of numbness—it’s you.”

“It’s me what?” Nina asked, still worried.

“You—you’re blocking his emotions.” He gestured at Healing One who was standing quietly to one side of the bed, waiting courteously for them to finish their conversation. “Not only can I not feel your feelings—I can’t feel anyone else’s either when I’m touching you.”

“Really? You’re sure I’m the reason? But how can that be?” Nina felt bewildered but cautiously hopeful.

“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “All I know is that a minute ago I felt like someone was shouting as loudly as they could right in my face—it was fucking deafening. And now when I’m touching you—nothing. Silence.”

“That’s amazing. I wonder what causes it? Because it’s nothing I’m doing on purpose. I mean I wish I could, but I have no idea how or why I’m able to act as your, uh, personal damper.”

Reddix’s silver gaze seemed to turn inward. “The witch said a girl with a pure heart and healing hands,” he murmured to himself. “That must be it. But I never thought—”

“What witch?” Nina asked, frowning. “Is she the one who sent you to take me? Does she have anything to do with what you want me for?”

A closed look came over his face, and he pulled his hand away from hers, wincing as he did so.

“Never mind. I told you I can’t talk about that.”

Nina glared at him. “Well, you’re going to have to talk about it sooner or later, buddy. Especially if you want my help to get by here.” Reaching over, she grabbed his big hand in hers again and entwined their fingers. “Now,” she said, turning to Healing One. “You can examine him. But only while he’s touching me.”

Chapter Seventeen

The alien healer examined Reddix, running soft, furry tentacles over his face and body in a way that would have been completely intolerable if Nina hadn’t been holding his hand. But with her to act as his “personal damper” as she had put it, he couldn’t feel a thing and the worst thing that happened was that the healer’s tentacles tickled a little. Nina seemed to be communicating with the alien but mostly in the emotion/thought language, and while she was touching him, Reddix couldn’t hear any of it.

He was well aware of what an unexpected blessing this was—here he was, a sufferer of RTS trapped on a planet of beings who communicated by throwing their emotions. It would likely have been the death of him if Nina wasn’t there. But more than that, the feel of her soft, smooth hand in his occupied his thoughts.

I can touch her. I am touching her. It was amazing, exhilarating…arousing. He had found her beautiful before but in a hopeless kind of way. Now, suddenly all his fantasies about the lovely Earth girl were possible—they could become realities. Reddix couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to kiss her, to touch her—running his hands all over her soft, curvy body. To feel her pressed against him. To—

To deliver her to the swamp witch and hope when Xandra takes her blood it doesn’t kill her, whispered a mean little voice in his brain. Reddix came back to reality with a thump. It didn’t matter that he had finally found a woman he could touch—he wouldn’t be acting out any of his fantasies with Nina—now or ever. In fact, she was only holding his hand as a gesture of kindness—kindness he didn’t in any way deserve. There was no way she would want to do anything else with him, and Reddix didn’t blame her. So forget about it—stop fantasizing, he told himself savagely. She’s not for you. You don’t deserve her.

Still, he couldn’t help enjoying the feel of her hand in his. He wished it could last forever.

But finally, the alien healer finished his examination and withdrew from the room. When he did, Nina withdrew her hand at once, leaving Reddix feeling strangely bereft.

“You probably want to have a bath and use the restroom after being out for so long,” she said, not looking at him.

“Uh, sure.” He nodded. “That would be good. Where—”

“They have a bathing facility, but it’s communal—everyone uses it.”

“Hmm, not so good.” Reddix didn’t like the idea of taking a bath with a bunch of emotion-throwing aliens.

“No, it’ll be all right. It’s the middle of the day so most of the kids are in school and the adults are at work, um, harvesting or farming or gathering I think. So we should be okay.”

“We?” Reddix frowned at her. “You’re coming with me?”

Nina got a stubborn look on her face. “I have to. What if too many of the Feeling People come in while you’re in the water? You could black out and drown.”

“The Feeling People?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“That’s just what I call them. Don’t change the subject—if you want a bath, I have to come too.”

“Fine,” Reddix growled. Although he didn’t like being treated like an invalid, he had to acknowledge that what she said was true. The emotions of the “Feeling People” as she called them, were so strong and intense he might not survive a close encounter with several of them together. Not when his brain already felt scrambled from their adventure with the thing Nina had assured him was a little girl.

“Come on then.” Nina nodded and got up off the bed. “Let’s go.”

“After you.” Reddix followed her, moving stiffly from having been unconscious for so long. His clothes felt grimy and stained—probably from days and nights of sleeping in them. “Uh, is there anything I could change into?” he asked as they made their way out of the small sleeping room and into a long, dark hallway.

“Sure—the Feeling People don’t really have clothes per se because they’re all covered in fur,” Nina said. “But they do have fabrics. See this?” She pointed at the dress she was wearing draped over one shoulder, leaving the other one bare. “It’s actually a blanket, but I found a little sewing kit on the ship and modified it.”

“It’s, uh, nice,” Reddix muttered. Actually, now that she was standing he could see it was much more than just “nice.” The blanket dress appeared to be made of some short, dense light blue fur which glimmered in the low light of the hallway. It clung to Nina’s curving full hips and ass in a way the shapeless garments she’d called scrubs didn’t, making it almost impossible for him to look away from her shapely backside.

“…if you want.”

“Huh?” Reddix realized she’d said something else to him, and he had missed it because he was ogling her like a horny adolescent. He looked up quickly, fighting to keep his eyes on her face.

“I said I found a grooming kit too—you know, some clippers, scissors, a razor—I can give you a shave and a haircut after you get your bath. If you trust me to, that is. It’s been awhile since I cut hair,” she said.

“Oh. Sure.” Reddix nodded. It was true he needed a shave, and his hair was certainly much too long, but that wasn’t why he was eager to take her up on her offer. Any excuse to have those small, soft hands on him again was welcome—no matter what it was.

“Good.” Nina looked pleased. “I promise I’ll be careful. Oh—here we are.” They had come to a low door at the end of the hallway that seemed to be made of a thicker, sturdier wood than the light woven grass one on the bedroom. “Brace yourself,” Nina warned him. “We have to go outside to get to the bathhouse, and it’s probably going to be pretty cold. Healing One told me this was the hottest summer they’ve had in years, but it always feels really chilly to me.”

Reddix shrugged. “Cold weather doesn’t bother me.”

“Well it does me.” She shivered. “I’ve lived in Florida all my life. We put on a sweater if the weather gets below seventy-five.”

“Seventy-five what?” he asked, mystified.

“Degrees. Never mind. I’m sure you have a different system of measurement. The point is, if it’s not blazing hot, it’s cold. At least to me. Come on.” Nina pushed through the wooden door and ducked outside.

The sunlight wasn’t particularly bright, but it still took Reddix’s eyes a moment to adjust. He saw that they were in a small village filled with wooden huts—some small to normal sized, some very tiny that looked like they had been built for children or dolls, and a few huge ones that looked more like facilities for keeping immense animals.

“That’s the kids’ part of the village,” Nina said, following his gaze to the big huts. “They mostly keep them over there to keep the little ones from trampling the town like Godzilla.”

“Who?” he frowned.

“A big scaly movie monster that liked to flatten cities,” Nina said. “If you’d ever promise to take me back to Earth I’d take you to see some classic monster movies—they have them sometimes at the Tampa Theater. They’re a lot of fun if you don’t mind the cheesy acting and terrible special effects.”

“Sounds…interesting,” Reddix said doubtfully.

“It is.” Nina smiled. “Sitting in the darkness in a classic old theater, eating hot buttered popcorn and watching a black and white monster destroy Tokyo—it’s a lot of fun.”

“I don’t know about a monster destroying things or eating hot buddered pockorn, whatever that is, but I’d welcome the chance to sit in the dark with you any time,” Reddix murmured, looking at her.

“Oh.” Her cheeks got pink, and she turned away quickly. “Come on, we’d better go. It’s freezing out here.”

It felt pretty temperate to Reddix, but he followed her willingly enough to a round wooden building at the center of the town. He was apprehensive as Nina swung open the tall wooden door, but when he saw that the interior was empty except for a large steaming pool of pale purple water, he relaxed.

“Here we go. And it looks like we have the place entirely to ourselves.” Nina looked pleased as she settled onto a sturdy gray wooden bench. “Well, go on.” She nodded at the pool. “It’s really shallow until you reach the halfway point. Then it gets pretty deep—I guess so they can wash the kids in there.”

“All right.” Reddix looked around. “Should I just undress here?”

“No, of course not,” she said quickly. “See over there behind the wooden partitions? They have restroom facilities and a changing area. Towels too. You can, um, wrap one around your waist.”

Reddix went behind the wooden partitions to the far side of the steaming pool and relieved himself before stripping down. Then he grabbed a soft furry gray towel and wrapped it around his waist and came back to the pool.

Nina was watching him as he walked out with the towel draped low around his hips, but she looked away hurriedly when he got to the edge of the water and dropped it. He slipped into the pool which came up to his waist at its lowest point and sighed in delight as the warm water caressed him.

“It like the bathing pools they have aboard the Mother Ship,” he remarked, wading out deeper. “Only a hell of a lot bigger.” He ducked down and submerged himself briefly in the slight current. “Any soap?” he asked, coming up and shaking his long wet hair out of his eyes.

“Those little round rock looking things around the edge at intervals are soap,” Nina said. “They work really well.”

“Great.” Reddix found one that did look exactly like a rock, but when he rubbed it against his chest, it lathered up at once, releasing mounds of pale grayish-pink suds. “This feels amazing,” he groaned, working it into his hair. “I haven’t had a shower since the night I…”

“Since the night you snatched me?” Nina asked quietly.

“Well…yes.” He frowned and rinsed his hair.

“I love it in the big bath pool,” she confessed, changing the subject to his relief. “I’ve been out here twice already thought I didn’t get to spend much time.”

“You didn’t like bathing with the aliens?” Reddix asked, wringing some of the water out of his hair. Gods, it was really too long, and his face was covered in a scratchy, full beard which needed to go.

Nina shook her head. “I didn’t like leaving you alone. I didn’t know what might happen if you woke up and I wasn’t there.”

He was touched all over again by the way she’d watched over him when he was helpless. She was too good to him—truly a female with a pure heart. He opened his mouth to thank her, but just then the door opened again, and five of the furry aliens came in, waving their tentacles and chatting to each other.

There was almost no physical noise except for a few clicks and chirps which seemed to be the Feeling People’s only spoken vocabulary. But the emotional outpouring was deafening to Reddix. It felt like someone was simultaneously blasting incredibly loud music in his ears and blinding him with bursts of super bright light.

He cursed and staggered backward, into the deeper water. Though he was a strong swimmer, the intense overload of emotion-thoughts made him disoriented. Before he knew it, his head was slipping under. He fought his way back to the surface, choking and gasping. It was like trying to swim in a pool of poison—he couldn’t see, couldn’t think…

“Reddix!” Suddenly, Nina was right beside him, splashing into the water fully clothed. She got an arm around his neck and tried to drag him up which was difficult since Reddix could tell she couldn’t touch the bottom at this depth.

“All right. I’m all right.” He stroked for shallower water and gulped air. “As long as you keep touching me I’ll be okay,” he told her as they came to the place in the pool where they could stand.

“Sure.” She took his hand and entwined their fingers with a tight grip. “Are you clean enough? Can we leave now?”

He nodded, relieved she wanted to go. “Let’s get out of here.”

Nina made some polite remarks to the aliens that he barely caught, and they climbed out of the pool together. She kept holding his hand but blushed and looked away as Reddix bent to retrieve his towel. It was hard draping it around his hips with one hand, and he wound up just holding it in front of him as they shuffled awkwardly around behind the wooden partition.

“Sorry,” Nina mumbled as he attempted to dry himself with one hand without exposing too much. “I’m, uh, trying not to look.”

“I don’t care if you look,” Reddix growled softly and realized it was true. How long had it been since he’d felt that way about a pretty girl staring at him? How long since he’d been free to expose himself to anyone without having to feel their lust coat his skin like cool slime? He found he liked the short, shy glances Nina was stealing at him as he dried his naked body. And for his part, he was having a hard time not looking at the way her wet dress clung to her, outlining her tight nipples and the tender V of her sex.

“I guess we’d better get going before more people come in,” she said, still not looking at him directly.

“Shouldn’t you dry off too?” Reddix asked. “You were just saying how cold you get.”

“Well…” She bit her lip, clearly uncertain, but she was already shivering.

“It’s okay.” He turned away from her though he was still holding her hand. “I won’t look.”

Nina seemed to make up her mind. “Okay.” She nodded. “Just hand me that towel…”

Reddix handed it to her and looked away though he was dying to see her lush body naked. He waited, the damp towel slung around his hips, as she fumbled with her dress. She seemed to be taking forever. Finally, he heard her give a soft, frustrated curse.

“Problem?” he said, still resisting the urge to look at her. “Need some help?”

“It’s this damn dress. I’m really not that much of a seamstress—it’s really just a glorified toga sewn together at the side and knotted at the shoulder. Only I can’t…get…the damn knot…loose.” She appeared to be jerking at the offending knot with every word but without much success.

“Let me help,” Reddix said, turning back to her.

“Oh, I don’t know…” Her cheeks were pink all over again. He admired her modesty, but he was getting tired of standing around in a wet towel.

“It’ll be all right,” he assured her. “I won’t look below your neck—I promise.”

“Well…all right. But hurry.”

“I’ll go as fast as I can. Just keep one hand on me so I can work on the knot,” he said.

Nina turned to him and put one soft little hand on his chest. Reddix felt a shiver run through him, but he fought not to show it and concentrated on the wet knot at her shoulder.

“You’re so warm,” she murmured as he worked. “How can you be so warm all the time?”

He shrugged. “I’m just bigger than you—I run hotter. Give off more body heat.”

“You certainly do,” she murmured, and he realized that she was staring at him, taking in his half naked body the way he was trying not to take in hers. For the first time in years the feeling of a woman’s eyes on him gave him pleasure instead of pain. Reddix felt himself go hard under the thin, damp towel he wore, but he forced himself to keep working. At last, the stubborn knot gave way, and the sodden blanket dress fell in a heap at her feet.

“There you go,” he murmured. And though he tried not to, he couldn’t stop himself from looking at her—her high breasts with their tight dark nipples, her curving waist and full hips. Her lush, heart-shaped ass…

“I thought you promised not to look.” Nina’s voice was breathless, but he noticed she made no move to cover herself.

“You promised the same thing, but you’ve been looking at me this whole time,” he pointed out softly. “Gods, you’re beautiful, Nina.”

“Th-thank you.” Her cheeks went deep pink again which only made her more beautiful as far as Reddix as concerned. “I…we should probably get going.” She reached for her towel with one hand, keeping the other planted firmly on his chest.

“Here—let me.” Reddix wrapped the furry towel around her, securing it in front with a quick knot. “Now do mine,” he said. “I think it’s slipping.”

Biting her lip, Nina quickly readjusted the towel he was wearing, clearly trying to ignore the hard bulge just under the thin fabric. Reddix put a hand on her slim shoulder to keep skin-to-skin contact, but he would much rather have touched her other places. His hands itched to palm her full breasts, to run down her sides and cup her lush ass. He’d never wanted a female so badly in his life.

She’s not for you, he reminded himself, keeping his hand on her shoulder through sheer force of will. Not now and not ever. You don’t deserve her so just leave her alone.

Which would be easier to do if he couldn’t tell she wanted him too. But the sweet, feminine scent of her arousal was in the air, filling his senses, making him long to press between her legs and taste her need right at the source. To spread her sweet pussy lips and lick her honey, thrusting his tongue deep inside her to get every last drop. Gods, he was losing his mind here…

At last when he thought he couldn’t stand another minute, Nina finished and took his hand.

“Let’s go,” she murmured. “I think your towel will hold up—for now.”

“Right behind you,” Reddix growled hoarsely. He wondered if they would be sleeping in the same room and then realized that of course they would have to. Gods, how would he make it through the rest of the day and the night keeping his hands to himself? How could he stop himself when he was so hungry for her, so starved to touch and be touched? And not just by anyone—it was Nina he hungered for and Nina alone.

You’ll just have to manage, he lectured himself sternly. Just keep it together and leave her be, damn it. She’s not for you!

* * * * *

Nina could feel his silver eyes on her as she led him back to their room. God, what was going on with her? She’d been blatantly staring at him back there when he was practically naked—not that he hadn’t been staring at her too. The tension between them was thick enough to cut with a knife.

You are not doing this, she told herself firmly as they made their way back down the long corridor to the room they’d been assigned in the guest hut. You are absolutely not falling for the man who kidnapped you. It’s crazy!

But she couldn’t get the way he’d been looking at her out of her head. Couldn’t ignore how warm his hand was or pretend her heart wasn’t pounding every time she touched him.

Yes you can, eecho, Mehoo-Jimmy’s voice lectured her. You just keep your distance from him. He hasn’t even promised to take you back home yet. Don’t fall in love with a man you can’t trust.

Nina lifted her chin as they entered their small room. Mehoo-Jimmy’s voice, which she knew was simply her own common sense talking, was right. She needed to put some distance between herself and the big Kindred. Accordingly, she let go of his hand and went to find one of the other “dresses” she’d made herself while he was unconscious. She took it around the corner of the fireplace, where there was some privacy, and pulled it over her head before dropping the towel.

“Hey,” he murmured from right behind her.

Nina jumped and gave a little squeak of surprise as she turned around.

“Don’t do that,” she gasped, putting a hand to her chest. “You scared me to death.”

“Sorry,” Reddix said apologetically. “Didn’t mean to startle you. I was just going to ask about getting something else to wear and maybe that shave and haircut you promised me.” He rubbed a hand over his chin, producing a rasping sound. “I’m a lot shaggier than even I like, and this damn beard itches.”

“Oh, of course,” Nina said quickly grabbing another light blue fur blanket. “You’ll have to give me some time to sew something together for you—or you can just wear a blanket like a kilt until we have time to wash your regular clothes.”

“Don’t know what a kilt is, but I suppose I can drape it around my waist like the towel.” He took the blanket she was holding out to him and let the towel drop.

Nina looked quickly away. Of course she’d seen his equipment before, but this was different. Before at least he’d been mostly clothed. Now he was naked and muscular in the firelight. Beads of water still stood on his broad shoulders, and as she watched from the corner of her eye, one of them slid down the flat, muscular plane of his chest and rippled over his washboard abs in a most distracting way.

Damn it, why couldn’t she stop looking at him? Maybe because he was so freaking hot he made her feel like melting into a little puddle at his feet. Were all the Kindred this big and built? There wasn’t a spare ounce of flesh on him anywhere—it was all rock hard muscle and smooth, tan skin.

“…to sit?” he said.

“I’m sorry?” She blinked up at him, trying to meet that blazing silver gaze.

“I said, where do you want me to sit? For my ‘personal grooming session.’” He gave her half a grin which made Nina smile back.

“Um, there’s a chair thing around here somewhere.” She grabbed it from the other side of the fireplace—a heavy wooden thing she had to struggle to lift.

“Here, let me.” Reddix lifted it easily with one hand. “Where do you want it?”

“Right in front of the fireplace so I can see what I’m doing,” Nina directed. “Then just have a seat. I’ll get everything ready.”

She bustled around, laying out the scissors and shaving kit which was actually a really nice one although the Kindred razor looked kind of strange. She’d played with it some earlier and found that it emitted its own shaving gel which evaporated, leaving a thin film of water to wipe off as you shaved.

It was an awesome invention, and Nina had used it on her legs, loving the fact that she didn’t have to be in the shower to shave. Now she changed the blade and then put it back down on the towel she’d laid out on the bed. She needed to cut his hair while it was still damp so she would save the shaving for last.

Finally, she had everything the way she wanted it. She turned to Reddix, who was sitting patiently before the fire with the fur blanket knotted around his waist.

“Okay, I’m ready. Let me just get a towel around your shoulders so we don’t get hair all down your back.” She draped a still-damp towel around his broad bare shoulders and picked up the scissors. “How much should I take off? Do you want it short?”

“Not too short,” he said cautiously.

“Fine.” Nina shrugged. “Short, long…with a face like yours, you could get away with almost anything.”

“That’s the problem—my face,” he growled. “Don’t want people looking at me.”

“Because…?” Nina looked at him uncertainly. “Does it have to do with your RTS?”

“You’re Goddess-damned right it does. It’s not just touch that sets it off. I feel everything anyone feels when they look at me too. Touching just makes it worse.”

“But you’re so…I mean, your bone structure is perfect. And with those eyes…” Nina shook her head. “What I’m trying to say is, when people look at you, how could they be thinking about anything except how, uh…”

“How much they’d like to fuck me?” he asked bluntly.

“I was going to say how gorgeous you are,” Nina said softly and began snipping. “But yeah, I guess so.”

“I told you—positive emotions are as invasive as negative ones. Tell me something, how did you feel when that fat tub of guts you were treating right before I grabbed you asked you for sexual favors? Did you like it?”

“Who, Mr. Witherspoon?” Nina asked, frowning. “How do you know about him?”

“Dream-sharing,” he said shortly. “So did you like it when he propositioned you?”

“God, no! He’s disgusting. And the way he looks at me…I can almost feel his eyes crawling all over my skin. Ugh.”

“What if you could really feel them?” Reddix asked softly as she continued to cut. “What if you felt his lust for you like cold slime all over your body every time he looked at you? Or what if another female was jealous of how beautiful you are? What if you had to feel her jealousy like a thousand stinging insects on every inch of your skin? Would you like that?”

“No. No that would be…horrible,” Nina whispered, the scissors paused in mid-snip. “You told me a little about RTS that first night on the ship, but you never said—”

“The less said about it the better,” Reddix said shortly. “I have it, I deal with it. Just don’t make my hair too short.”

“Okay,” she said quietly. She went on snipping, glad to find that her hands still remembered their old skill, but inside she was hurting for him. Up until now she’d had the impression he couldn’t feel anything from other people unless they were touching him—well, other than the aliens they found themselves currently with, but they used emotions to communicate.

Nina had never dreamed the RTS was so bad—so debilitating. No wonder Reddix was gruff and harsh sometimes. He’d probably been in severe pain for the past ten years, ever since his disease manifested itself. She couldn’t imagine having to feel every emotion everyone felt about her or around her all the time. It would be horrible…unbearable.

Stop getting distracted and do your job, she warned herself as she snipped. Concentrate on doing it right. Make sure you don’t take too much off.

Nina took a deep breath, trying to clear her mind. She had been young when her mother taught her, but she had learned well. She had continued giving her father and friends haircuts even after her mother had died and the little beauty shop on Flora Avenue closed. Soon she was able to lose herself in her work and push the troubling thoughts aside.

Reddix’s hair was thick with a slight wave to it, but it wasn’t hard to cut. It seemed to fall naturally into a pattern, and she found herself following it, marveling all over again as she did at the deep blue—almost black color of it. His beard, she noted, was almost completely black, darker even than the hair on his head.

At last, she stood back and admired her work. His hair was still a bit long, but it was much less shaggy. Really, except for the beard he looked almost presentable.

“Finished?” Reddix asked.

“With your hair anyway. Now it’s time for a shave.” Nina took the towel off his shoulders and shook it into the fireplace, getting rid of the clippings. Then she put it back on him and picked up the clippers. “I think we’d better use these to start with and finish up with the razor. That’s a pretty thick beard.”

“I can do it myself if you want me to,” he offered, sitting up a little straighter.

Nina shook her head. “I don’t mind. And besides, there aren’t any mirrors here for you to look at.”

“All right.” He relaxed in the chair again. “I’m in your hands.”

“I’ll do my best. You already look less like a bear.” She smiled at him.

“But I thought you liked bears. You said they were your…your spirit creature?” He raised his eyebrows at her in question.

“Spirit animal,” Nina corrected him as she began to buzz his cheeks and chin. The Kindred clippers were amazingly fast and quiet. “But that’s just magic and superstition, really.”

“There’s more to magic and superstition than you think,” he murmured. “Maybe the bear thing is the reason you can…can touch me.” His deep voice was slightly hoarse.

“Maybe,” Nina said softly. She put down the clippers and picked up the razor. “You’d better stop talking now. This thing is sharp.”

He made a deep noise of assent and closed his eyes as she began to shave him more closely. Nina was fast and careful, but as she began to clear the black stubble from his cheeks, she saw something that startled her. Reddix had scars. Two long, white, deliberate lines ran parallel along the left side of his strong jaw. It looked like someone had cut him there on purpose—as though he’d gotten into a knife fight with a sadist who knew exactly what he was doing and had wanted to disfigure the big Kindred in some way.

“Hey,” she said softly, running one fingertip along the cruel white scars. “What happened here?”

“Nothing.” Reddix jerked away from her touch and sat up quickly.

“Who did that to you?” Nina asked. “Why would anyone—”

“I told you, it’s nothing,” he growled. “Here, give me the razor. I’ll finish myself.”

“No.” Nina stepped back, holding her hands up in a gesture of peace though foam from the razor dripped down her wrist. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Not offended,” he said tightly, but the closed, guarded look was back in his eyes.

“Just let me finish,” she said quietly. “I promise I won’t ask any more questions.”

“Fine.” He settled into the chair again, but there was a tension in his broad shoulders that hadn’t been there before. Nina’s heart squeezed in her chest. She wished he wasn’t so secretive. That she could find a way to make him open up.

The only thing you need to find is a way home, eecho, whispered Mehoo-Jimmy’s voice in her mind. Nina knew it was true, but she couldn’t help wanting to get behind the wall Reddix had built around himself. She had a feeling if she could just breach that barrier, she could help him…heal him.

But first he would have to let her in.

Chapter Eighteen

“Still no sign of the emergency beacon?” Liv asked.

“Afraid not.” Kat sighed and settled herself on the couch beside Sophia. They were in her suite today because she had all the wedding planning materials there. Not that she felt like planning much of anything right now. “They’re not sure where the ship Reddix stole landed,” she said.

“Baird went to check it out, and he says the wormhole they went through is really unstable,” Liv said.

“What does that mean?” Sophia asked, eyes wide.

“Well…that they might not have landed at all,” Kat said quietly.

“Oh, no.” Sophia looked like she might cry. “But Kat, I was there when Sylvan talked to her grandma—that little old lady—that Mehaw…”

“Mehoo-Jimmy,” Kat interrupted. “I know. I heard all about it.”

“She was so upset, and I don’t blame her,” Liv said grimly. “What’s wrong with Reddix, kidnapping that girl? Everybody knows that’s not how you claim a bride.”

“Well, Lissa says Saber isn’t entirely sure claiming her was his intention,” Kat said.

“What else could he want her for?” Sophia asked and winced as she put a hand on her rounded belly. “Oh! The twins are kicking.”

“Mine aren’t yet, but I’m sure they will be soon,” Kat said. “I just hope they don’t start when I’m walking down the aisle with Deep and Lock.”

“At least not so your grandma can see,” Liv murmured, a ghost of a smile on her face.

“Exactly. I’m already getting fatter. This wedding needs to happen soon.” Kat sighed.

“It will,” Sophia promised. “The planning is going great, isn’t it?”

“It was until this whole mess with Reddix kidnapping that poor girl,” Kat said grimly. “Lissa was helping me a lot, but now I haven’t seen her in days. Every time I call her or try to go see her she says she has a headache and needs to be left alone.” She shook her head. “It’s not just about the wedding—I’m getting really worried about her.”

“I know you two are close, but maybe she just needs a little space,” Liv said consolingly. “And Sophie and I will pick up the slack as much as we can.”

“No, I don’t want you guys to have to worry about it,” Kat demurred. “You’ve got a new baby, and Sophie’s about ready to pop. Lauren is already making the cake, Nadiah is stuck on First World, and Elise is off with Merrick exploring the universe, although she did promise to come back for the big event—if it ever happens.”

“It’ll happen,” Sophia said soothingly. “Honestly it will. And as long as your grandmother still has no idea that Kindred babies are carried for a whole year instead of nine months, there’s no reason she has to know you’re preggy on the big day.”

“Sophie’s right,” Liv said. “You can say you got pregnant on your honeymoon.”

“I hope you’re right,” Kat said. “Grandma will be scandalized otherwise. It’s bad enough me marrying two guys at once, but walking down the aisle knocked up…that might be the last straw.” She sighed. “Speaking of babies, where’s your adorable little guy today, Liv?”

“Off with his daddy. Apparently it’s 'bring your baby to work and show him off while bragging unmercifully to the other warriors that you have the best son in the known universe day'.” Liv grinned.

“Seriously? Baird just decided to take him today?” Kat asked. “But he’s still so little.”

“Yeah, but he already loves his daddy, and Baird is really good with the little guy,” Liv said. “You know, from what I’ve seen all Kindred are pretty good dads, but I think the whole, um experience, Baird had during the last part of my pregnancy really forged a bond between the two of them.”

Kat raised an eyebrow. “You mean the experience where he was actually pregnant and had to give birth to his own son?”

“Yeah, that experience.” Liv laughed. “Seriously, though, Baird seems to feel extra close to Daniel because of it.” She popped a grape into her mouth from the fresh fruit and veggie tray which was sitting neglected on Kat’s coffee table. “I highly recommend it for all pregnancies.”

Sophia sighed. “If only. I’m getting so tired of being pregnant, and I’m not even into my last quadmester yet.”

“Hush.” Kat frowned at her. “Some of us are still in the first quadmester. I don’t want to hear anything except how wonderful it is.”

“At least you’re going to have two dads to help out when your boys get here,” Sophie pointed out. “Sylvan and I are having twins, and we don’t have a third parent to help us.”

“At least you won’t be outnumbered,” Liv said comfortingly. She turned to Kat. “And I’m sure Deep and Lock will make great dads.”

“Probably Lock more than Deep,” Kat said, grinning. “I think he’s got more maternal instinct than me. I’m all focused on the wedding, but he’s already decorating the nursery.”

“What about Deep?” Sophie asked.

“He’s building the crib. It’s going to be a double-wide, of course.” Kat’s face fell. “Only…”

“What? What’s wrong, hon?” Liv leaned forward. “Why do you look so sad all of a sudden?”

“Just thinking about being pregnant,” Kat said. “It’s not that I don’t want to be—I’m good with it now although I wasn’t for a while. It’s just…I can’t help Deep and Lock do the seeker-finder thing while I’m preggy.”

“Is it not safe for the babies?” Sophia asked.

Kat shook her head. “Not so much that as that their tiny little minds get in the way. It’s like being pregnant makes everything blurry—it throws off the accuracy. But I wish so much that I could still do it.”

“To find that girl Reddix kidnapped, right?” Liv said quietly. “You want to go looking for her the same way you went looking for Lauren when she was gone with Xairn.”

Kat nodded. “Exactly. Deep and Lock have tried using Saber as a focus, but his Touch Sense keeps him from being effective, and they’re so used to working with me now, they couldn’t find anything.”

“You can’t blame yourself for that,” Sophia said.

“I don’t. I just wish I could help some way.” Kat sighed. “Maybe it would make Lissa feel better if she knew that girl Reddix took is alive and all right.”

“Does anyone know where he was taking her?” Liv asked. “Or why?”

Kat shrugged. “Lissa said Saber thinks he might take her back to Tarsia—their home planet. But so far they haven’t showed up there. Apparently Reddix had some kind of a weird idea about needing her for a cure for his condition—that Reverted Touch thingy, whatever it is.”

Liv frowned. “Reverted what?”

“It’s Reverse Touch Syndrome, and it only affects Touch Kindred males with the Star Clan blood,” a new voice said from the doorway.

Kat, Liv, and Sophie looked up in surprise. Lissa was standing just inside the doorway, a drawn look on her face.

“Forgive me for entering without asking,” she said quietly. “But I wanted to come and say goodbye to all of you before I go.”

“Before you go?” Kat asked, getting up and going to her. “Before you go where?”

“Back to Tarsia.” Lissa’s face was pale but determined. “To face the consequences of my actions.”

“What actions?” Liv asked as Kat led Lissa to sit on the extra-long couch that came standard in all Twin Kindred suites.

“She means falling for Saber,” Kat said quietly. “Don’t you, doll?”

Lissa nodded. “Saber and I were never supposed to fall in love in the first place, much less act on that love,” she said. “But since we have made the decision to be together, we must go back home and announce it to all of Tarsia.”

“Um, correct me if I’m wrong, but won’t that be like going home and telling everyone you married your big brother?” Liv asked, frowning.

Lissa nodded again. “That is exactly what it will mean. Even though there are no blood ties between us, we will still be reviled as incestuous and disgusting.”

“But…why put yourself through that? Why go home at all?” Sophia asked.

“We have to. It’s our fault Reddix was desperate enough to abduct that innocent girl and get both himself and her killed in the process,” Lissa said softly.

“What? They’re sure they got killed now?” Kat exclaimed.

“No, but what else could have happened?” Lissa said. “They haven’t shown up anywhere on Tarsia, and they haven’t set off their emergency beacon. Saber has been waiting, hoping against hope it would go off. We don’t…” She choked for a minute, then forced herself to go on. “We didn’t want to have to go back home and announce that Reddix was dead and ask for an acknowledgement of our relationship at the same time. It’s just…too much bad news all at once.”

“That would be hard to break to everyone,” Liv said sympathetically. “But maybe it will force your people to accept you and Saber as their rulers.”

“Or it will force them into a bloody civil war,” Lissa said and wiped at her eyes. “This…it’s going to be horrible. I know it’s selfish to care about myself when Reddix and the girl he took are probably dead, but to go back to my home planet and stand up in front of everyone to admit that I seduced their rightful leader away from his post…”

“You can’t look at it like that,” Kat said firmly. “The people back on Tarsia—they’re the ones with outdated, old-fashioned ideas. They’re the one with the problem, not you and Saber.”

“Kat’s right,” Sophia said indignantly. “Don’t let them push you around or make you feel bad for loving your own husband! Listen, none of Sylvan’s relatives like me—well, except for Nadiah—but I don’t let it bother me a bit.”

“It’s not just her relatives though—it’s the whole freaking planet,” Liv pointed out. She reached across Kat and pressed Lissa’s hand. “I can see why it’s so hard, hon. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all right.” Lissa sniffed and tried to smile. “I’ll be all right. I just need to get over feeling sorry for myself and get ready to go.”

“When are you leaving?” Kat asked quietly.

“Tonight. Or maybe tomorrow some time,” Lissa said. “We might wait one more night and hope that the beacon goes off. Saber has everyone in the scanning section of the Mother Ship on the alert for it.”

“Give yourself the night,” Kat advised. “And spend it with Saber. Take some time to remember how much you love each other and promise to stay strong before you go.”

“Reaffirm your relationship,” Liv said, nodding. “You guys are going into a really tough situation. Give yourself some time to prepare for it.”

Lissa sighed. “I feel like all we’ve been doing is preparing. We’ve been talking about this—going back—since the first night Reddix showed up in our suite.”

“And how does Saber feel about it?” Sophia asked.

“He knows it’s the right thing to do.” Lissa looked down at her hands. “I just wish it wasn’t such a hard thing to do.”

“Oh, hon…” Kat gave her friend a big hug. “I don’t know how, but I know everything is going to be okay. You and Saber were made for each other and don’t you let anyone tell you different.”

Lissa hugged her back. “Thank you, Kat. I’m just sorry I’m leaving you in the middle of the preparations for your joining ceremony. I promise I’ll try to come back for it.”

“Don’t worry about a thing,” Liv told her. “Sophie and I will pick up the slack. Just do what you have to do and come back if you can.”

“If I can,” Lissa echoed and swiped at her eyes again. “Thank you. Thank you all, so much.”

“Any time, doll.” Kat smiled at her. “Now come on and help us choke down some of this fruit.” She nodded down at the overflowing platter on her coffee table. “I’ve been trying to eat healthier because I’m pregnant, but nobody seems to be interested in helping me.”

“It has been a long time since I’ve eaten,” Lissa admitted, giving her friend a wan smile. “And I love exotic fruit—what’s this green stick?” she asked, pointing.

“Ugh—that’s celery.” Kat shivered. “Can’t recommend it myself. Tastes like crunchy cardboard, and the strings get in your teeth.”

“Well…what about this one?” Lissa pointed at an orange stick this time.

“Carrot,” Kat said blandly. “It’s good—if you’re a bunny rabbit.”

“Don’t listen to Kat,” Liv said. “Try some of the fruit—it’s on this side of the plate.” She pointed.

“All right. This one looks good,” Lissa decided, picking up a yellow piece.

“That’s pineapple,” Sophia said. “Try it—it’s delicious.”

“Tastes better upside down in a cake,” Kat grumbled.

“Upside down? Lissa frowned and turned the small yellow chunk over. “Am I holding it wrong? Will it make me sick if I eat it the wrong way?”

Liv laughed. “No, no—Kat just has an awful sweet tooth now that she’s got a bun in the oven. There’s a dessert we make with this fruit, but it’s much more fattening than the fruit itself.”

“And much more delicious.” Kat brightened. “You know, I think Lauren was baking a batch of pineapple upside down cupcakes with cream cheese frosting earlier.” She waved a yellow chunk of fruit at Lissa enticingly. “Hang around the Mother Ship one more night, and we’ll go get one. What do you say?”

“Well…” Lissa wavered.

“That sounds perfect!” Sophia declared, throwing down the piece of celery she’d been toying with. Come on—let’s go get some now.”

Liv laughed. “Instant cravings—how well I remember those days. Mention the food, and you’ve suddenly got to have it.”

“Even if it’s a peanut butter and kelp sandwich. As if you could talk about anyone else’s cravings,” Kat scoffed. “Come on, Lissa,” she said, getting off the couch. “Let’s go get something good to eat. You need to build up your strength for the ordeal ahead.”

“Translation: Kat needs cupcakes,” Sophia laughed, hauling herself out of the couch with her sister’s help.

Lissa smiled. “Well, I do love to try new foods…” She popped the pineapple into her mouth. “Mmm, and if it’s better than this, I really need to try it.”

“Then it’s settled,” Liv said. “Kat, lead the way. And somebody bespeak Lauren to know we’re about to descend on her like a pack of hungry hyenas.”

“Hungry, pregnant hyenas,” Kat corrected, grinning. “Which is about twenty times worse. Come on, Lissa.” She grabbed her friend’s hand. “Let’s go get cupcakes.”

Chapter Nineteen

“And this is what you’ve been living on the whole time I was out?” Reddix looked at the bowl of grayish-purple mush in his hands uncertainly.

Nina shrugged. “I had to. The ship doesn’t have enough power to use the rehydrator-thingy so it was eat this or starve. Besides, it’s not so bad. It looks like purple oatmeal, but it tastes like whatever you put on it.”

He frowned. “And what do you put on it?”

“Depends. Do you want a savory flavor or a sweet one?” She nodded at an array of much smaller bowls, all filled with different substances, some of which looked like spices and some which looked like flowers or bugs. “They’re all different.”

“So I see. Uh…I’ll take savory,” he decided.

“Great! Hand me your bowl, and I’ll fix it up.” She took his bowl and started sprinkling different toppings on it. “Now this one tastes kind of like barbequed potato chips. And this one kind of reminds me of fried catfish…”

Reddix watched as she fixed his bowl, grateful that she was being so gracious after his angry words during the shave. Shouldn’t have yelled at her like that, he thought, still upset with himself. She’s been nothing but kind to me, and I’m such a prickly, ungrateful bastard. She deserves the truth—all of it.

But he couldn’t bear to tell her what had really happened the night he’d gotten the scars on his face. Or the deeper, darker truth about why he had kidnapped her in the first place.

How can I take her to the swamp witch? he thought, glancing at the lthss which had grown longer, encircling half his wrist now. But then again, how could he not? Time was running out. Because despite the fact that he had found a woman he could touch and who seemed to suppress his RTS when she touched him, he still needed a long term cure for it if he was going to do what was expected of him back home.

If only I could take Nina as my mate—declare her as my female and bond her to me, he thought longingly. Of course, that was impossible on many levels. Other than the fact that he had an inverted Touch Sense and couldn’t bond any female to him at all, his people were also traditionalists. They wouldn’t accept him as ruler if he married outside the Touch Kindred Clans. Any child born of such a union would be considered a half-breed bastard…an interloper.

Not that Nina would have him if he ever asked her…though the very idea of being able to claim her as his female made blood surge to his shaft and his throat tight with longing. Gods, she was perfect. Gorgeous, kind, and touchable. So incredibly touchable. Reddix’s hands itched to explore her curvy body, to cup her full breasts and generous ass. His mouth watered to taste her sweet pussy while she called his name and begged for more…

“Oh, and this one is the best. It tastes almost exactly like Mehoo-Jimmy’s frybread…” Nina frowned and looked up at him. “Are you hearing anything I’m saying? You have this faraway look in your eyes.”

“Forgive me,” Reddix said roughly. He reached out a hand to accept the bowl she was holding out to her. “I’m sure it’s all delicious.”

“It is—mostly,” she said, smiling. “Although I haven’t had the nerve to try the chu-chu bugs yet,” she added, nodding to the small bowl of tiny, many-legged creatures that had been dried until they were stiff and crispy.

Reddix made a face. “Ugh. Well, they don’t look very fucking appetizing.”

“No bugs do—at least to me. I know lots of other cultures eat them but I’m just not brave enough.” Nina finished fixing her own bowl and then dug in with a strange lumpy implement that looked a little like long handled a spoon with multiple rounded bowls all up and down its stem.

“What’s this thing?” Reddix asked, picking up a similar implement himself.

“Oh—that’s an edible spoon. It’s really good. You bite off a piece with each scoop of nutra-mush you eat.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Nutra-mush?”

She smiled and shrugged. “That’s kind of my name for it. According to Healing One, it’s a natural completely balanced meal with everything you need in it. At least, everything the Feeling People need. Though so far I feel fine eating it too.” She scooped up some mush and bit down on the spoon, biting off the bottommost bowl with a crunching sound.

“Let’s hope it has everything Kindred and Earthlings need as well,” Reddix muttered and followed her example. To his surprise, the flavor was quite good. The mush had a smooth texture offset by the crunchiness of the spoon which had a mild, nutty flavor. The taste of the mush was harder to describe. Reddix had never tasted any of the Earth foods Nina had talked about as she flavored the stuff, but the different toppings reminded him of flavors from his own planet as well. He especially liked the section of mush Nina had said tasted like her grandmother’s fly bread—whatever that was. He quickly ate it all and asked for more.

“See—I told you its’ good,” Nina said, scooping out some more mush as well as the dry topping which flavored it.

“And you said it tastes like fly bread?” Reddix asked, taking the bowl back from her. “But I thought a fly was an Earth insect, and you said you don’t eat insects—not that I blame you.” He took a big bite.

“No, no—fry bread. As in, you fry it. It’s horribly fattening of course but amazingly good.” She sighed and put down her spoon.

“What is it?” Reddix looked at her in concern.

“Nothing. I just…I miss Mehoo.”

He felt a surge of guilt. “Nina—”

“Never mind.” She blinked rapidly and shook her head, as though trying to dispel her unwanted emotion. “Try some of the sweet kind too. Here…” She pointed at another bowl with little brown crumbles in it. “I swear this one tastes exactly like buttered toast dipped in hot chocolate. It’s amazing.”

“I don’t know what any of those things are, but I’ll try it.” Reddix reached for the mixture and then winced as a sudden muscle spasm traveled down his arm. “Goddess damn it!” he cursed under his breath as he rolled his shoulder, trying to ease the ache.

Nina was instantly concerned. “What is it? What happened? Did one of the Feeling People pass by outside the door or something? Did you feel their emotions?”

“No—nothing like that.” Reddix shook his head. “I’m just still stiff—from being out so long, I guess.”

“Oh.” Nina relaxed. “Well, of course you are. And not just being unconscious for so long—don’t forget that before that you were pretty much chained up in the kitchen for most of a day and night.”

“Not that I didn’t fucking deserve it.” Reddix sighed and rolled his stiff, aching shoulder some more. “Never mind. It’ll work itself out.”

“No it won’t—not without some help.” Nina put down her bowl. “I’m about finished—how about you?”

“I guess so.” Reddix put down his own bowl as well. Despite the fact that he hadn’t eaten very much, he was surprisingly full. Either his stomach had shrunk in the time he had been unconscious or the mush was surprisingly filling.

“Good.” Nina reached down and grabbed his hand.

Reddix jerked, startled. After so many years of being careful to keep his distance from everyone, he was still getting used to being touched casually.

“Uh, what are you doing?” he asked, trying to cover his knee-jerk reaction.

“Trying to get you to come to the bed.” She tugged on his hand. “Come on.”

“What?” Suddenly, his heart was pounding, and his shaft was achingly hard again. “And why exactly are we going to bed?” he managed to get out.

“Oh…” Nina’s cheeks went pink. “No, nothing like that,” she assured him hastily. “I just…I meant I’ll give you a massage.”

“A massage?” he asked, still not understanding.

“I’ll rub you all over.” She got even pinker. “Oh God, that came out really wrong. I mean I’ll rub your muscles to release tension. It’s strictly therapeutic, I swear. I’ll just do your back and shoulders and legs.” She cleared her throat. “Maybe…maybe work on the glutes some too.”

“And this…you, uh, rubbing me all over is supposed to make me less tense?” He raised an eyebrow at her in disbelief. Did she have any idea what she was saying? The idea of having those soft little hands of hers all over his body, even in a non-sexual way was enough to make him half-crazy with desire for her.

“That’s the idea. Now come on,” Nina said firmly. “You’ll never get all those kinks in your muscles out without some professional help.”

Reddix was still dubious, but he wasn’t about to refuse the chance to have her hands on his body. With a little direction from Nina, he lay face down on the bed with the blanket covering only his ass. Then she knelt beside him and began to work.

To his surprise, those soft, small hands were actually quite strong. He nearly groaned in relief as Nina found the hard knot in his stiff shoulder and worked it until it loosened. Then she started working on the rest of his back, but soon she made a noise of irritation.

“Problem?” he asked, turning his head to the side to look at her.

“Yes—you’re too big. I mean, your shoulders are so broad it’s hard to reach. Do you mind if I straddle you?”

Reddix’s shaft hardened even further, pressing against the bed. He shifted, trying to get more comfortable. Somewhere inside he knew this much intimate contact with Nina would be pushing his limits, but somehow he couldn’t say no.

“Go ahead,” he said hoarsely.

He’d barely finished speaking when Nina hiked up her dress and threw one leg over his hips. Though he was lying face down, Reddix couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to have her straddle him while he was face up instead. To have that soft, sweet pussy settling down on his aching shaft, enveloping him in her hot, wet depths, her full breasts bouncing as he fucked up into her. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the vision. Gods, how could he stand this? He was going to die from desire!

But Nina seemed immune to his desperate need, other than to notice the fact that he’d tensed up again.

“Relax,” she ordered, clearly in professional mode now. “It won’t do any good to massage you if you tighten up all over again.”

“I’ll try,” he ground out, teeth gritted, hands clenched into fists. He could feel her silky thighs on either side of his rib cage, and when she bent over him, he swore he could feel the light brush of her breasts against his back. His cock was so hard he felt like he could fuck a hole right through the mattress. Couldn’t she see what she was doing to him for the Goddess’s sake?

Apparently not for she continued to massage him, rubbing all over his back, touching him in ways he hadn’t been touched in years. It was rapidly becoming too much. All Reddix could think about was taking her. Rolling over and pulling her to him, taking her mouth in a savage, punishing kiss…rolling her plump nipples between his fingers and then spreading her legs, claiming her entirely…

“You’re so tense,” Nina complained, leaning over him to work harder. Her breasts brushed him again, her nipples tight through the thin fur dress. “I think you’re in worse shape now than when I started!”

“Sorry,” Reddix growled hoarsely.

“Just try to relax,” she said again. She shifted to get a better angle to work and then…Gods, was that her soft little pussy he could feel pressing into the small of his back? The heat and dampness told him it must be. Did she even have panties on or was she completely naked under the dress? He could imagine her pink folds opening, showing her warm, wet interior. Her pussy spread for his tongue as she pulled his hair and called his name. She was rubbing against him, pressing the part of her he most longed to taste right against the small of his back…

Suddenly, he snapped.

With a low, possessive growl he flipped over, grabbed her wrists and rolled her under him in one swift move.

“Reddix?” Nina’s gold-flecked eyes grew wide. “What…what are you doing?”

“This.” And then he was kissing her—taking her—tasting her sweet mouth as he’d been longing to do from the moment he first set eyes on her. It was wrong, and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t quench the fire that burned inside him or satisfy the desperate hunger that had been building up for ten long years.

He wanted her, and he would be damned if he didn’t have her.

* * * * *

“Reddix? Oh my God, Reddix!” Nina gasped when he finally let her get some air. Not that she didn’t like the kiss—it was desperate and hungry and more than a little scary but also incredibly possessive and hot. His big body on hers was heavy and hard and insistent.

Can’t do this, she told herself desperately. Oh God, I really can’t do this! He’s my kidnapper—I can’t trust him. I can’t…can’t…

“Mine.” His silver eyes glowed in the dim room, and his harsh voice was a deep, guttural growl of pure possession. “You’re mine now, Nina. Mine.”

The words sent a thrill through her—part fear and part desire. But the fear won out.

“Just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean you own me!” She pushed against his broad shoulders, but it was like pushing against a tank—he wasn’t moving. In fact, he was coming in for another one of those searing, frighteningly hot kisses.

“That’s exactly what it means,” he muttered, his eyes blazing with lust. “Never gonna let you go.”

“No!” Nina jerked her head to one side, avoiding his mouth. This was rapidly moving from scary but hot territory into just plain scary. She groped for the small wooden table beside the bed, reaching for something to fend him off with. Her fingers encountered a smooth keychain shaped object, and she grabbed it, squeezing it tight.

Reddix growled in frustration and came in for another kiss. When Nina avoided his mouth again, he went for her neck, licking and sucking mercilessly at the tender skin at the hollow of her throat, doubtless marking her with his possessive kisses. His dark, spicy scent filled her senses, making her feel dizzy and helpless with unwanted lust.

No, have to fight it. Have to…fight it!

Nina bit back a groan. This was getting out of hand—way out of hand. She couldn’t help noticing that lights on his collar were blinking like crazy—just as they had been during their first encounter with the Feeling People. Red, green, blue, red-green-blue, redgreenblue…they were almost a blur. The sight made her realize the small thing she held in her hand was the controller to the collar. She gripped it tightly. Could she really use it on him again? Should she?

The big Kindred moved farther down. Big, warm hands cupped her breasts roughly through the thin fur-like material of her dress, rolling her nipples until she moaned out loud. A warm, wet tongue licked a searing furrow right between her breasts. Nina moaned and felt her back arching involuntarily. God, she had to stop this…stop it now.

“Reddix,” she tried to warn him breathlessly. “Don’t—I don’t…don’t want to hurt you. Please stop. I don’t…you can’t…”

Her only answer was an inarticulate, lust filled growl that sounded more animal than human. Nina didn’t want to do it, but when one of his big warm hands left her breasts and started traveling sound of her belly button to slip under her dress, she knew she had no choice.

But not the kill switch again, she thought deliriously. Don’t want to knock him out for another three days. Just need to…to get him off me.

Carefully she slid the little plastic shield across the green button to one side and pressed it briefly.

The effect was instantaneous. Reddix stiffened on top of her and then threw himself backward, writhing in agony.

“Oh my God!” Nina fumbled with the controller, her fingers suddenly numb. Quickly she slid aside the shield over the blue button and jammed down on it hard.

The big Kindred relaxed at once, panting hoarsely. His hands, which had been clawing at the collar, dropped to his sides, and he heaved, his muscular chest rising and falling like bellows.

“I’m so sorry!” Nina gasped, leaning over him. “Are you all right? I didn’t want to press the button—I swear I didn’t. But you…you wouldn’t stop.”

Reddix choked and shook his head.

“You did…did the right thing.” His deep voice was scarcely more than a harsh whisper. Slowly, stiffly, he sat up and settled on the side of the bed, elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

“I just…” Nina began helplessly.

“Don’t fucking apologize. I’m the one who ought to be begging your forgiveness.” He sounded angry—but with himself, Nina realized—not with her. “It’s just…” He shook his head. “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to touch a female—or tolerate the touch of one in return.” He gave her a sidelong glance. “And you’re so Goddess damned beautiful—so perfect. I just…I lost myself.”

“I’m sorry,” Nina said softly. “I should have realized…I just wanted to ease some of your tension.”

He barked a laugh. “I’m afraid you failed. I’ve never felt more tense in my life. Well, until you shocked me. That took care of the problem nicely.” He glanced down between his legs as though to confirm he didn’t have an erection.

“I’m sorry—” she started again.

“Don’t be,” he said harshly. “I kidnapped you, remember? Then I dragged you through a wormhole to a strange planet where I tried to rape you.” He shook his head. “Gods, what’s wrong with me?”

“You never…” Nina’s mouth was suddenly dry. “You wouldn’t have. Not really. You just…lost control a little. That’s all.”

“Stop making excuses for me. You don’t know what I’m capable of.” He sat up and stared her straight in the face. “You want to know how this happened?” he asked, stroking his fingers along the cruel white scars marring his otherwise perfect jaw. “Do you?”

“I—”

“I did it myself with a knife,” he said bluntly. “Back when the RTS first got really bad. I was going to do my whole face but my little sister, Minda, came in and caught me. She…” He shook his head for a moment and swallowed hard. “There was blood everywhere…my hands, my face. It scared her. I think for a moment she thought I’d cut my own fucking throat.” He looked away. “And at that moment, I wished I had.”

“Oh, Reddix…” Nina didn’t know what to say. Her heart ached for him, bled for his pain. She put a hand on his arm tentatively, but he shook it off.

“She cried for me…begged me to stop,” he went on in a flat, emotionless voice. “She couldn’t understand why I would do such a thing. How could I explain to her that being ugly was better?”

Realization flashed over Nina. “What you were saying earlier—about feeling someone’s lust or jealousy every time they saw you…”

“They’re some of the worst emotions to deal with.” He looked down at his hands. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself—just scar myself. But Minda cried so hard and her grief and fear was so hard to deal with…” He shook his head. “I promised her I’d never do it again. That was why I started wearing the hood instead, growing my hair, hiding my face.”

“I don’t…don’t know what to say,” Nina whispered. Her eyes stung with unshed tears, but she tried not to cry. Reddix had enough emotion to deal with—even if he wouldn’t admit it.

“Don’t say anything.” He stood up abruptly and turned for the door.

“Where are you going?” she asked, immediately worried.

“To the ship. I’m going to activate the emergency beacon.” Reddix gave her a look. “It may take them awhile to detect it, but eventually my Kindred brothers will come. They’ll come and take you back to Earth, Nina. Where you belong.”

Before she could say another thing he was gone.

Chapter Twenty

Reddix stalked around the edges of the Feeling People’s village, carefully avoiding the natives though he more than halfway felt he deserved a blast of debilitating emotion right now. He was angry with himself…sickened by what he had almost done. How could he treat Nina that way? How could he hold her down and try to force himself on her?

Thank Goddess for the collar. One hand stole up to his neck and he caressed the black wire around his neck with his fingertips. If she hadn’t had it to stop me… But he didn’t want to think of what he might have done, how far he might have gone.

He sniffed the chilly wind and followed the scent of metal and oil to the abandoned ship. It was completely disabled at the moment, but he might have been able to fix it in time. He wouldn’t now, though. He was simply going to activate the beacon and wait for his fellow Kindred to come collect him and Nina. They could deport him back to Tarsia and take Nina safely back to Earth to be with her kin.

And what about the swamp witch? What about the price of blood? whispered a little voice in his head. Xandra will exact the payment whether you want her to or not.

“Too fucking bad,” Reddix growled aloud. He would pay the price himself. And as for his RTS…well, he didn’t know what he would do about that or the fact that he was supposed to somehow father a child on the brainless, shallow Tilla, who his parents had picked to be his female. He would just have to do the best that he could.

If worst came to worst, he supposed they could go back to the Mother Ship—if the other Kindred would have him—and try artificial insemination. Of course if word of that ever got out, the Touch Kindred would never accept any child of his as leader of the Clans. Their laws were very clear about how a ruling child was to be conceived, and any deviation was not looked kindly upon.

“Just have to manage,” Reddix muttered to himself as he let himself into the cockpit. He found the emergency beacon at once, and then, before he could talk himself out of it, he pressed his palm to the flat black surface and pushed down hard three times.

The beacon lit up at once, outlining his hand and then flashing from red to yellow to green. When it stayed a steady, unblinking green for five seconds in a row, Reddix slowly removed his hand.

It was done. There was no way he could ever make up to Nina what he had put her through, but at least he had insured she could get home safely and go back to her normal life on Earth.

“You’ll never have her,” he muttered, staring at the blood red lthss curling around the bottom half of his wrist. “I’m setting her free. Your price is too high, witch. Even for freedom from my damn RTS, your price is too high.”

* * * * *

Nina paced the small bedroom worriedly, passing back and forth before the tiny fireplace and its gold and blue flames. She was cold, but she didn’t want to get into the bed where she and Reddix had so lately fought.

What if he runs into one of the Feeling People while he’s out there? What if he runs into one of their kids—their emotions are so loud. I should have gone with him. Should have…

Stop it, eecho! the voice of Mehoo-Jimmy commanded. Stop worrying about that bear and worry about yourself. What if he didn’t really set off the beacon at all? What if he just said that to trick you? In fact—what if he got in that ship and took off? What if he left you here all alone with no hope of ever getting home?

No, Nina thought uneasily. No, he wouldn’t do that. No matter what else he is, Reddix is an honorable man. He’s just been hurt so much, been in pain so long that he’s twisted. He can’t help himself…

She knew she ought to stop making excuses for him, but she couldn’t seem to help it. The idea that he’d cut his own face to make himself less noticeable tore at her heart. His life had been hell for ten years. And even though he’d kidnapped her and torn her away from her entire life, she couldn’t help feeling for him. Any more than she’d been able to help reacting when he kissed her and touched her.

God, the way he’d touched her… Nina’s body still throbbed with the memory of his big, hot hands cupping her breasts and rolling her nipples…the feel of his mouth on hers and then moving lower, kissing her throat and licking between her breasts. Just thinking about it made her nipples tight as the tender vee between her thighs got swollen and wet…

No, stop it! she ordered herself. Closing her eyes, she clenched her fists and took a deep breath, trying to calm her frazzled nerves and dispel the enticing memory. But the deep breath didn’t help. All she could smell was the lingering scent of Reddix’s skin—his dark, spicy, somehow completely masculine musk that filled her senses and made her dizzy with wanting him. In fact, the more she inhaled, the more clearly she smelled him and the more she wanted him…

“What are you doing?”

The deep voice just beside her startled Nina so much that she gave a little scream and nearly fell over. She was about to land right in the fireplace when Reddix saved her by yanking her up and into his arms.

“I…I…” She looked up at him, unable to collect her thoughts. She was tight against him, her breasts pressed to the hard, flat planes of his bare chest, and all she could think about was how badly she wanted him to kiss her again.

“You all right?” he demanded roughly.

“Yes, I…I was just t-trying not to…to think bad thoughts,” Nina stuttered, feeling stupid. Trying not to think bad thoughts? God, she sounded like a five year old. But Reddix didn’t seem to notice.

“Bad thoughts? About what I almost did to you?” he raised an eyebrow and gave her a bitter smile.

Nina felt her cheeks grow hot, but she shook her head. “Not, uh, not exactly. I was afraid you’d run into one of the Feeling People and have a problem. I, uh, also thought about the possibility of you just getting in the ship and leaving…without me, I mean.”

He scowled. “You think I’d do that? Strand you on an alien planet for the rest of your life? You really think I have so little honor?”

“I…you were angry. And I thought—”

“Never mind.” He let her go and stepped away from her. “I’m nothing but a fucking animal to you now. An animal has no honor.”

“Reddix, please…”

“No. I’m going to bed.” He grabbed one of the spare furry blankets off the bed and stalked to the door. “I’ll find somewhere else to sleep.”

Nina began to get angry. “Oh, no you won’t!” she exclaimed. Marching over, she yanked the blanket out of his hand and spread it back on the bed. “You’re going to sleep right here with me,” she said, frowning. “It’s not safe for you to be too far away if a Feeling Person comes along.”

“Stop trying to protect me,” he growled. “I’m not your lover or your mate—I’m nobody to you.”

“Yes, you are,” Nina insisted, her heart pounding. “Or you could be. If you’d let yourself be.”

“You know who you are to me—do you really want to know?” he demanded, his face twisted with rage. “You’re a sacrifice, Nina—nothing but a sacrifice.”

Her mouth went numb. “A…a what?”

“You heard me,” he said bitterly. “I promised your blood to Xandra—the swamp witch on my home planet of Tarsia. She said she could use it to make a cure for my RTS.”

“And you believed her?” Nina asked softly. “You really think she could cure you?”

“I thought so, yes. She’s very powerful—and very fucking dangerous.”

“Reddix—”

“And even though I’d been dream sharing with you for months, I pushed it out of my mind, blocked how much I wanted you, how much I felt for you. Because blocking feelings is what I fucking do best. But I can’t anymore, Nina. He ran both hands through his hair in obvious frustration. “And I can’t stand to be in here with you either. Not now. So give me the damn blanket. I’ll find somewhere else to sleep.”

Nina picked up the blanket with trembling hands and held it to her chest.

“Reddix, please,” she said softly. “Please stay.”

“I can’t.” He took it from her, but gently. His silver eyes were filled with self-loathing and pain. “I’ll try to stay close—maybe right outside the door. But I need to put some distance between us. I want you too damn much, and Goddess knows, I don’t in any way deserve you.”

“Please,” she whispered.

“Try to sleep and don’t worry. The beacon is lit. They’ll be coming for us soon.”

Then he turned and walked out for the second time that night.

Nina couldn’t help herself. She curled up on the bed and cried.

Chapter Twenty-one

“Damn it,” Reddix muttered, tossing and turning on the hard packed floor right outside the bedroom door. He wished he would have had the forethought to bring one of the oblong, dry grass stuffed pillows the Feeling People had provided when he left, but it was too late now. He was stuck out here with one thin fur blanket and nothing else—and he was damned if he was going back into that room tonight.

Not that he didn’t want to.

For a long time he’d heard the soft sounds of Nina crying from behind the thin door—the muffled sounds of hurt—a hurt he had caused her. He’d ached to go back to her and apologize—to comfort her for the pain he’d inflicted. But he didn’t dare. If he went back in, he wouldn’t be able to resist her. And the way she’d talked to him—the way she’d said he could be someone to her if only he would let himself…the way she had begged him to stay…it was too much. Too tempting.

Have to leave her alone, he told himself grimly. I want her too much—need her too much. But all I bring her is pain. Why the hell did I have to tell her about the swamp witch, anyway? What good does it do her to know what I had planned for her? Why couldn’t I just tell her the beacon was tripped and leave it at that instead of twisting the knife?

Reddix didn’t know when he had become such a sick, twisted bastard, but he hated himself for it. Hated himself far too much to let himself take the comfort Nina offered. Especially when he deserved nothing but pain.

Not that the hard packed ground he was lying on was anything but painful.

He shifted again and somehow managed to find a semi-comfortable spot. Maybe he’d be able to catch a little sleep after all—if he could just turn off the loop of guilt inside his skull for a few hours. It helped that the soft sounds of sadness were no longer issuing from inside the bedroom. Instead, all he could hear was her soft, even breathing. Apparently Nina had cried herself out and gone to sleep. Maybe now he could rest too.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he muttered under his breath as his eyelids started to sag closed at last. “So fucking sorry…”

A massive jolt of agonizing pain speared through his body, shocking him instantly awake.

Reddix sat bolt upright with a hoarse cry, scrabbling at the Hurkon collar which seemed to have tightened around his neck. For a moment, it seemed to get even tighter, but then, finally, he was able to draw breath. What the hell was happening? Was Nina shocking him for the hell of it? Or was she just getting him back for everything he’d said and done earlier? Reddix certainly wouldn’t blame her if she was, but it didn’t seem like her style to wait until he was sleeping and then send a massive jolt of agony through his system.

Before he could go into the bedroom and demand an explanation, Nina came rushing out, a frightened look on her face.

“What is it? What happened?” she demanded. “Was it one of the Feeling People? I told you it wasn’t safe out here—you need to come in the bedroom with me.”

Reddix frowned. “You know damn well it wasn’t anything like that. You shocked me!”

“What?” Nina looked stunned. “What are you talking about?”

“You fucking know what I’m talking about,” Reddix growled. “I was sound asleep, and a huge jolt went right through me—not my favorite kind of wake up call.”

“I—”

“I understand if you’re mad at me, Nina,” he continued, frowning at her. “So I’ll give you that one shock—I deserved it after everything I did and said tonight. But next time at least give me some warning first. That’s a hell of a way to wake up.”

“But that’s what I’m trying to tell you—I didn’t push any of the buttons,” Nina protested. “I swear I didn’t. I would never shock you in your sleep even if I was mad at you—that would be cruel and petty and immature.”

Reddix had to admit she was none of those things. But he still didn’t understand what was going on. “Are you sure you didn’t press it in your sleep?” he asked, frowning.

Nina shook her head. “No, that’s not possible. I left the controller on the night table, and I was curled up on the bed. On…on your side of the bed.” Her cheeks went pink, and she looked down. “I couldn’t even reach it from there. There’s no way I pressed any buttons in my sleep.”

“What the hell then?” Reddix was honestly bewildered now. “Did the damn thing shock me all by itself?”

As if in answer to his question, another sharp jolt of pain went through him. To Reddix it felt like a lightning bolt had entered through the top of his head and was exiting through his feet.

“Gods!” Every muscle in his body went rigid with pain, and he felt for a minute like his spine might crack from the immense pressure. His hands clenched involuntarily into fists, and if he’d had his tongue between his teeth, he was sure he would have bitten it in two. Then, as suddenly as it had come, the pain was gone leaving only a lingering ghost of discomfort behind. He sagged against the wall, gasping.

“Reddix? What happened?” Nina’s eyes were wide with worry. “Did it happen again?”

“Yes,” he managed to get out through gritted teeth. “It did.”

“But what…how…?”

“Let’s go look at the controller.” He pushed his way into the bedroom and snatched the small black oval with its three blinking buttons. The plasti-shields were in place over all of them, proving that no one had touched the damn thing.

“What is it?” Nina asked anxiously, peering around his shoulder at the controller. “Is there some kind of a short in it?”

“I don’t think so,” Reddix said grimly. “I think the damn collar really did shock me itself.”

“What? But how? And why?”

“Because,” he said grimly. “It’s hungry.”

* * * * *

“Hungry?” Nina stared at him in disbelief. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve heard of this kind of thing happening before with Hurkon collars. It’s rare—very fucking rare—but not unheard of.” He placed the controller back down on the rickety wooden nightstand and turned to face her. “The collar has an adjustment period when you first put it on—it sets the levels for what the collar can expect in terms of ‘food’ for the rest of the time it’s on the unlucky son-of-a-bitch wearing it. And by food, I mean extreme emotions. Reactions to stimuli—most often pain and fear.”

“But…” Nina shook her head. “But almost right after you put it on we had our first encounter with the Feeling People. You were having…all kinds of extreme emotions. To the point where I had to knock you out!”

“Which made the collar think it could expect a constant stream of heightened emotion from me,” he said grimly. “It was satiated for a good long time by that first burst of fear and anger and pain I felt before you knocked me out, but now it’s hungry again. The fight we had tonight was like a Goddess damned appetizer to it—got it going. So now it’s telling me to feed it or it’ll feed its own damn self.”

“Feed it how?” Nina asked, feeling sick.

Reddix took a deep breath, his broad, bare shoulders rolling in the flickering firelight. The thin fur blanket wrapped around his waist was still his only clothing, and in the dim room, he looked huge.

“You’re going to have to shock me again,” he said. “At least once more.”

“What? No!” She took a step back, wrapping her arms protectively around herself. “I’ve already shocked you a lot more than I ever wanted to.”

“You only did it twice. Once to save me from having my brain overload and once to keep me from…” He cleared his throat. “From hurting you.”

“Exactly. And that last time was earlier tonight. Shouldn’t that made the stupid collar happy?”

“Apparently not.” Reddix picked up the controller and tried to press it into her hand. “Probably because it didn’t last long enough. Here—do it.”

“No!” Nina backed away again. “No, I won’t do it.”

“You have to—the one holding the collar is rendered unable to control it,” he insisted. “Besides, I’d rather be able to brace myself and know what was coming than have the damn thing just shock me at random intervals.”

“But…I don’t want to hurt you,” Nina whispered. “Maybe we should try to take it off again.”

“And let it shock you too, like it did when you tried to take it off while I was unconscious? No.” He frowned. “Look, when we get in contract with them, I’ll ask my Kindred brothers to bring a universal key with them when they come to collect us. Until then, it’s either pick my time to get shocked or let this damn collar shock me whenever the hell it feels like it.”

“Maybe it’s had enough now,” she said stubbornly. “It might leave you alone for the rest of the night.”

“Or it might fucking not,” he growled. He lowered his voice to a more gentle tone. “Come on, Nina…don’t make me beg. I could be seriously injured if it surprises me again. I nearly bit my tongue in two that last time.”

She shook her head again. “But—wait a minute.” An idea was beginning to take root. “You said it feeds on extreme emotions, right?”

He nodded. “That’s right.”

“But not necessarily negative emotions,” Nina clarified.

“I suppose not.” He shrugged. “Though I’m pretty sure most of the poor bastards wearing a Hurkon collar aren’t feeding it with ‘happy thoughts.’ Why?”

“Because. I think I know another way to feed it—a way to satisfy its appetite.” Nina took a step toward him, looking up into his shadowed face. The flickering firelight didn’t reach his features. All she could see of him were his hooded silver eyes.

“What are you talking about, Nina?” he growled hoarsely. “How else am I supposed to feed the damn thing?”

“Like this.” And standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him.

Chapter Twenty-two

Reddix’s heart was pounding, and his shaft was suddenly thick and aching under the thin fur blanket. He wanted to kiss Nina back—wanted to grab her and do much more than kiss her. But this time he was able to restrain himself.

“What the fuck…” he growled, moving deliberately away from her. “Do you think you’re doing?”

“Feeding the collar.” Her eyes were large and luminous in the gold and blue light of the dying fire’s flames, and her long dark hair was tumbled around her shoulders. Gods, she was so beautiful it made him ache to look at her!

“I appreciate the thought, but I don’t think that’s going to work,” Reddix growled, forcing himself to keep his distance.

“You’re wrong,” she said softly. “The lights on the collar went crazy when I kissed you just now. The same way they did when you were…uh, kissing me earlier.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “You mean when I had you pinned to the bed and you had to shock me to get free?”

Nina bit her lip. “They were flashing before that. In fact, they flashed a lot faster when you were…during the kissing than they did when I shocked you.”

He frowned. “If that’s true there might be something to the idea of feeding it with positive emotions. But why?”

* * * * *

“Maybe because it lasts longer,” Nina said reasonably. “The jolts of pain it gives you only last a split second. Whereas if you were doing something else…something pleasurable…” She felt her cheeks getting hot. “Well, you could kind of draw that out. You could make it last longer. A lot longer.”

“And what exactly do you recommend to feed the collar and to make it last?” His deep voice was a hoarse growl, and Nina felt he was holding himself back by force of will.

“I could touch you…kiss you,” she said, holding her ground though it wasn’t easy. Suddenly, he looked so big and so extremely half-naked looming up in front of her.

“Oh?” Reddix took a step toward her.

“You’d have to swear not to…to do anything I didn’t want you to,” Nina said in a rush, fighting the urge to back up. “I need to know I can trust you before I do anything like this. And…I think we need to have limits.”

“Limits.” He nodded, a thoughtful look in his silver eyes. “Yes. Limits are good.”

“Then…” Nina’s mouth was so dry she could barely talk, but she forced the words out anyway. “Then I’ll…help you. As long as you lie down on the bed and let me set the limits.”

He appeared to consider for a moment, and finally, he nodded.

“All right. I accept your terms.” He went and laid down on the bed, face up with his arms over his head. “Do you want to use the restraints like you did in the ship?”

Nina thought about it but shook her head.

“No, I think I can trust you.”

“But can I trust myself?” he muttered. “You have no idea what your soft little hands on my body do to me.”

“It’s what they do for the collar—that’s all I’m interested in,” Nina said, trying to sound professional, like she was simply going to give him a massage. But inside she knew she’d been wanting to do this for a very long time—maybe even from the first time she’d dreamed of him.

Shouldn’t be doing this…she told herself. But the mouthwatering sight of his muscular, half-naked body drew her like a magnet. The thin fur blanket was barely draped over his hips, and she could already see a distinct tent under it—clearly the idea of letting her touch him all over was turning Reddix on like crazy.

Almost as much as it was turning her on.

Still…she really shouldn’t get herself into such an intimate situation with the man who had kidnapped her. Then set some limits—just like you said, whispered a little voice. Lay down some rules before you get started.

Yes, that was the thing to do—lay down the rules.

“Okay,” she said, climbing onto the bed beside him. “Here’s how it’s going to be: I’ll touch you—you are not going to touch me in any way in return. Got it?”

“Agreed,” he rumbled, nodding.

“Second,” Nina continued, “You have to lie perfectly still with your hands above your head, just like they are now.”

He nodded again. “Is there a third stipulation?”

“Well, yes.” Nina took a deep breath. “I want it understood that I’m just doing this to help you with the collar. It’s not…not personal.” Not that she didn’t want it to be personal, but she couldn’t let herself go there with him—not if she wanted to keep her heart intact.

He studied her for a moment, and his eyes hardened.

“Fine,” he said at last. “I agree that it’s nothing personal.”

For some reason, Nina’s heart tightened, but she forced herself to nod.

“Good.”

“Good,” he echoed. “So go ahead—test your theory. I have a feeling if you don’t get started soon the damn collar will take matters into its own hands—if you know what I mean.”

“I do. Okay, here goes.”

Nina took another deep breath, her hands hovering over his chest.

Just think of it as a massage, she told herself. Pretend you’re back at Massage Envy giving a difficult patient a relaxation massage.

Only Reddix was a lot more than difficult—he was angry and tortured and twisted by years of pain. Not to mention so gorgeous it hurt to look at him. Even the scars he’d inflicted on himself somehow didn’t detract from his physical beauty. The white scars were like wounds from his own personal war—a war he’d been in for so long he’d forgotten how to be normal.

“Well?” he asked, and she realized Nina was taking too long to get started.

Stop psyching yourself out and just do it, she commanded herself. Closing her eyes, she put her hands on the warm, hard wall of his chest and began to rub in long, slow strokes. He had a small patch of black hair between the flat copper disks of his nipples—it felt slightly rough under his fingers and led in a narrow trail down his tight abdomen and under the thin fur blanket.

Nina let her fingers wander, absorbing the feel of him through her hands. She touched people all day long for a living but never like this. As much as she tried to tell herself otherwise, touching Reddix, stroking his big body, was different—personal. She could almost feel the years of torment and hurt trapped under his skin. Could almost sense his deep, unspoken longing to be touched…cared for. God, he was so broken inside—and she wanted so desperately to fix him…

Reddix made a low sound in his throat, and Nina froze and opened her eyes.

“Is everything all right? Did I hurt you?”

“Never.” He shook his head. “It’s just…been a long time.”

“I understand,” she murmured. The hunger was back in his silver eyes, and she thought she could understand now how he could have lost control earlier. Really, it had been incredibly callous of her to suggest massaging him without thinking about how long it had been since he was able to enjoy any kind of casual touch, not to mention sex. Most men she knew were climbing the walls if they went without for a week, and Reddix hadn’t been with anyone for over ten years. Not that she was volunteering herself to break his dry spell—that would be way too personal. But still…

“How’s the collar doing?” he asked, his voice slightly hoarse as she continued to rub his chest and shoulders.

“Okay, I guess.” Nina frowned, studying the black wire contraption around his strong throat. “The lights are blinking but not very fast like they do when it seems to be, uh, feeding.”

He shook his head. “That’s it then—this isn’t working.”

“It has to,” Nina protested. “I think maybe I just have to touch you, uh…”

“More intimately?” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she felt her face getting hot.

“Yeah. Pretty much,” she mumbled, feeling suddenly ashamed. “I’m sorry—this makes me feel like such a freaking pervert.”

“Don’t,” he said simply.

But Nina couldn’t help it. “I just want you to know I didn’t suggest this so I could, uh, take advantage of you,” she went on, hastily. “I would never—”

He laughed softly, a deep rumble that seemed to come from the very bottom of his broad chest.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. In a choice between painful electrical shocks and being ‘taken advantage of’ by a beautiful female, which one do you think I’d choose?”

Nina allowed herself a small smile. “Okay, good point. Well then, here goes.”

Biting her lip, she moved her hands lower, sliding over his trim, narrow hips and under the blanket.

* * * * *

Reddix sucked in a breath as her soft little hands disappeared from sight and tensed for the feeling of those slender fingers wrapping around his cock. But Nina didn’t go there—not yet. Instead, she skirted around the throbbing shaft and continued down to his thighs, sliding her fingertips close but never quiet touching the area where he ached for her.

Gods… He had to bite back a groan. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him? His whole body felt like a dessert that hadn’t seen rain in years and her soft, caressing hands were the life-giving moisture he needed. He wanted to beg for her touch, but his tongue seemed stuck to the roof of his mouth. All he could do was lie there and pray she wouldn’t stop.

Nina continued down his thighs and legs in long, slow strokes. It wasn’t until she got to his feet and ankles that she paused for a moment and looked up at him.

“What?” he asked hoarsely after half a minute. “Why did you stop?”

“Just assessing the collar.” Her cheeks were pink, and her pupils were dilated in the dim room, making her eyes look like stars. “It seems to be blinking faster but still not fast enough. How…” She cleared her throat. “How would you feel if I took off your blanket? It might be easier to, uh, see what I was doing.”

Reddix shrugged though inside his heart was pounding like it wanted to knock a hole in his ribs.

“Fine with me, sweetheart. You’ve already seen and handled the equipment before,” he reminded her.

“Yes, but that was different,” she protested. “Then I was just, uh, helping you out. This time I’ll be…”

“Still just helping me out. But in a different way.” Reddix gave her a half-smile. “Listen if you’re worried I’ll snap again, I promise I won’t. I’m in complete control—hands still over my head—see?” He wiggled his fingers to show her.

Nina nodded. “Right. God, this would totally get me fired if I was with a client.”

Reddix felt his chest get tight. “Is that what I am to you during this—just a client?”

“No.” She looked away, her face hidden by her hair. “No, you’re…more. You shouldn’t be, but…” She shook her head without finishing. Then she started to touch him again.

Slim, lovely fingers moved slowly and sensuously up his ankles, calves and inner thighs until Reddix felt like he was going to explode. And then Nina pulled the blanket aside, revealing his aching shaft.

“Spread your legs,” she murmured, sliding her fingertips around him. “Let me work on you.”

With a low groan, Reddix did as she commanded. His hands curled into fists, and his breath began to come short as her soft hand encircled him, her fingers trying and failing to get all the way around his girth. Then she began to pump him slowly…very slowly…a sensuous up and down slide he thought would drive him crazy.

Nina seemed fascinated by what she was doing, and Reddix couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight. She was so beautiful, bending over him with her long dark hair hanging around her slender shoulders. The thin fur dress clung to every curve making him ache to touch her back, to explore every inch of her. But he was mindful of her rules and kept his hands above his head, not daring to move an inch.

It had been so long since a female touched him like this, but that wasn’t the only reason his heart was pumping so hard. It was the fact that it was Nina touching him. He’d had a few flings in early manhood before his RTS manifested but never with a female he truly cared about. And though he didn’t want to admit it to himself, with Nina he cared—cared a hell of a lot. Probably too much.

Somewhere inside he realized he shouldn’t let his emotions get in the way. This should be a purely physical experience. But he couldn’t help himself. Somehow he knew that no matter how good it felt to finally be touched again, it wouldn’t have been nearly as good if it wasn’t Nina doing the touching.

* * * * *

Nina knew it was wrong to be enjoying herself so much, but there was something incredibly sexy about being in control this way. She liked the idea that a big, powerful male like Reddix was spread out in front of her, helpless to do anything but let her touch him. Was this how men felt when they touched women? Powerful? Dominant? In control? Nina didn’t know, but she did know she couldn’t get enough of the heady feeling.

Reddix’s big shaft felt hot and hard and heavy in her hand. It was a lot different touching him now than it had been the first time—probably because that first time she’d been wearing gloves. This time she could feel the silky texture of his skin—like rose petals under her fingers. He throbbed in her hand—full of life and need, and his warm, spicy scent made her want to get closer to him—a lot closer.

Before she knew what she was doing, Nina was leaning over him, her lips almost level with the broad, plum-shaped head. It wasn’t just that she wanted to taste him, she told herself, it was that she wanted to heal him in some way. To kiss away the pain, the ache of loneliness he’d been carrying like a too-heavy burden all these years. She didn’t know why she felt like touching him this way—tasting him this way—would help. She just instinctively knew it would.

Leaning farther down, she placed a hot, open mouthed kiss against the head of his cock.

“What…what are you doing?” Reddix’s deep voice was rough with emotion.

“Nothing,” Nina murmured soothingly. “Just…kissing away the pain.”

“I don’t understand,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“You don’t have to. Just lay there and let me help you,” she commanded.

“All right.” His hands were clenched even tighter above his head, she noted, but that was where they stayed—right above his head. It was good to know she could trust him to behave himself this time, even under extreme duress. Meanwhile, the lights on his collar were blinking like crazy.

So it’s working, Nina told herself. But even if it hadn’t been, she didn’t think she could have stopped. She was enjoying herself too much. Slowly, she kissed him again.

“God, Nina…” he said hoarsely, watching her. “Can’t believe you’re doing that.”

Nina couldn’t quite believe it either, but she liked it just the same. Liked the warm, masculine scent of his cock and the way it felt so hot and hard in her hand. She especially liked the salty taste of his pre-cum. Daring to be just a little naughtier, she explored his slit with the tip of her tongue, lapping away the slippery, salty liquid that had gathered there and trying to get more.

Reddix groaned. “Nina no, that’s going too far. I can’t…don’t know if I can stand it.”

“What?” She looked up at him innocently, but inside she felt even more powerful, even more turned on. “I’m just kissing you,” she murmured. “It’s not like I’m actually sucking you or anything. Can’t you tell the difference?”

“I don’t know—” he began.

“Because if you can’t, I can show you,” Nina said, grinning naughtily. “Now watch closely, Reddix. This is a kiss…” Leaning down so that her full breasts brushed against his thighs, she placed another hot, sucking kiss against the head of his cock, swiping it with her tongue as she did so.

Reddix groaned again. “Nina…”

“And this is sucking,” she went on. She looked up to be sure he was watching her, and then she leaned forward and took his thick head into her mouth.

It tasted delicious—hot and hard and salty and she liked the way it throbbed against her tongue. But she wanted even more.

“Nina…” Reddix protested as she took him deeper. He was too big to fit much in her mouth, but it was very enjoyable to try and get as much as she could. And even more enjoyable to hear his low groans of pleasure as she did so.

Nina had given blow jobs in the past—her ex had pretty much expected it although he point blank refused to return the favor—but it had never turned her on that much before.

This time was different. Doing this for her ex-fiancé had never gotten her hot, not like sucking Reddix did. Her pussy felt swollen and juicy, and she could feel her honey running down her inner thighs. The low, deep sounds of pleasure the big Kindred was making urged her on, making her even hotter. Though she was certain he was dying to thrust, he held rigidly still, his entire body tense. Finally, she became aware that he was calling her name, trying to get her attention.

Reluctantly, she released him and looked up.

“What is it?”

“Gonna come soon,” he growled tightly. “But I don’t want it to be in your mouth.”

“All right.” Nina went back to pumping his shaft, but again, he stopped her.

“No.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to come while you touch me either.”

Nina drew back, a little hurt. “What do you want, then?”

Reddix looked at her, his eyes blazing in the dim light.

“I want to come while I’m touching you,” he murmured. “Please, Nina—let me touch you.”

Chapter Twenty-three

Nina wasn’t sure if she should let him or not. She wanted to—just the thought of those big, strong hands running all over her body made her throb with need. It was so much like the erotic dreams she’d had of him she almost felt like she’d be living out a fantasy. But she wasn’t sure if she could trust him go so far without going all the way which she most certainly didn’t want to do.

“I don’t know,” she said, studying him. “What about the rules I made? The first one was that I would touch you, not the other way around.”

“And that’s the only reason you’re saying no? A rule you made up?” he demanded.

“Well…” She bit her lip. “No. And it’s not that I don’t want you to. It’s that I’m…”

“Afraid?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

Reluctantly, she nodded. “Well…yes.”

“Listen to me, Nina—I’m not going to make love to you tonight. I swear it.” He sighed. “I want to, but I can tell you don’t. And even if you did, I couldn’t do it properly—the way it’s meant to be done among my people.”

“Well then, why…?”

“Do you know how long it’s been since I touched a female?” he growled softly. “Especially one as beautiful as you? I want to run my hands all over your gorgeous, curves. Want to explore you, cup your breasts in my palms, stroke your sweet little pussy until you moan for me.”

“What…what are you saying?” Suddenly, her breath was coming short, and she didn’t feel nearly so much in control.

Reddix gave her a level look, his silver eyes hooded with desire. “I’m saying I want to make you come. Now, Nina.”

Nina opened her mouth to say no, and heard herself say, “All right,” instead.

Well, so much for rules. Somehow she found herself lying down in the middle of the bed, and then Reddix was looming over her.

“Don’t worry,” he murmured, his deep voice rough with desire. “I swear I won’t hurt you. Just want to touch you.”

Though she’d been afraid of him earlier, Nina found herself relaxing. There was nothing but sincerity in his eyes, nothing but a pure wish to pleasure her in his face. She closed her eyes, waiting to feel his hands on her.

Instead, she felt his mouth.

Soft, slow, and surprisingly tender after his earlier bruising kisses, his lips explored hers in a way that stole her breath. When she opened her mouth for a little gasp, his tongue was right there, seeking but not demanding entrance. He lapped gently, and Nina found herself inviting him in, opening wider to receive him and even sucking his tongue when he slipped it inside her.

Reddix groaned roughly and deepened the kiss. At the same time he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him, pressing her breasts to his chest and running his big hands up and down her back and shoulders.

Then his hands moved from her back to her front, cupping her aching breasts and stroking lightly over her nipples.

Nina moaned and arched up, trying to get more of the sweetly addictive sensation. But then she felt him tugging on her dress.

“Wha—what are you doing?” she asked breathlessly, breaking the kiss.

“Take it off.” Reddix’s eyes blazed into hers. “I won’t hurt you, and I won’t force you, Nina, but I want you to take this damn thing off.”

“I can’t…I shouldn’t,” she protested softly.

“Take it off.” He kissed her again, thrusting his tongue slowly between her lips, making her moan before he pulled away. “I want you naked under me,” he growled.

Nina bit her lip. “But…you promise not to…”

“I told you—I won’t make love to you tonight,” he swore fiercely. “But I want to touch you everywhere. And I can’t do that with this damn fur dress in the way.”

Once again she meant to say no. Once again she found herself agreeing instead. God, why couldn’t she deny him? Maybe because you don’t want to, suggested a little voice in her head. Nina thought it was probably right.

“All right,” she said, sitting up and raising her arms over her head. “Help me out of it.”

Reddix had the dress over her head almost before she could finish talking. He threw it over the side of the bed and then pulled her back down to the mattress.

Nina expected him to start touching her all over at once. Instead, to her surprise, he took a long moment to just look at her. The way his silver eyes roamed over her body made her feel even more naked than she already was if that was possible. She crossed her legs self-consciously.

“Reddix—” she began, but he cut her off.

“Beautiful,” he muttered in a low, choked voice. “Gods, do you have any idea how fucking gorgeous you are, Nina?”

“I…not really. My hips and behind are way too big,” she protested.

“Didn’t I tell you I love a woman with a heart shaped ass?” he demanded. Cupping her hip with one hand, he slid his hand down to palm her ass. “Perfect,” he muttered, squeezing lightly but possessively.

“I’m…glad you like it,” Nina said cautiously, her heart thumping.

“Like it? I fucking love it—love all of you. Come here.” He pulled her to him so that they were both on their sides, facing each other and pressed tight, chest to chest and thigh to thigh.

Nina stiffened a little when she felt his long, hard shaft branding her lower belly, but Reddix made no move to get it between her legs. Instead, he pulled her closer, as though he couldn’t get enough of the feel of her skin against his. As though he never wanted to let her go.

“Gods, why do you feel so right in my arms?” he muttered into her hair. “Why can’t I stop wanting you? Stop thinking about you?”

“I think about you too,” Nina admitted in a low voice. “I don’t understand it either.”

“You’d almost think we were made for each other.” He gave a low bitter laugh and pulled back a little. “Except I’m not made for anyone.”

“Reddix…”

“Just let me hold you.” He pulled her close again, rubbing up and down her back and ass in long, slow strokes. “Just let me feel you close to me, in my arms.”

Nina stiffened at first, but he smelled so good, and the feel of his big body all around her, surrounding her with his heat, was surprisingly relaxing. After a moment, she gave a soft sigh and let her body mold itself against his.

“That’ right,” he rumbled, still stroking gently. “Gods, you’re so soft, so fragile. Let me know if I’m hurting you.”

“You’re not,” Nina assured him, touched by his concern. It was hard to believe he was the same man who had pinned her to the bed earlier that evening. Clearly he was doing his best not to frighten or overwhelm her in any way. She felt herself genuinely touched at the effort he was making.

“You don’t realize how much you miss this until you can’t do it anymore,” he murmured. “Just the simple act of being close to another person—holding someone you care for in your arms…”

Nina felt a surge of sorrow for him.

“Oh, Reddix…” Stroking a hand through his hair, she kissed him gently on the lips.

He returned the kiss with interest, and one large hand slid down to cup her breast.

Nina moaned when he thumbed her nipple gently, sending showers of sparks through her entire body.

“You have beautiful breasts,” he said softly. “So full and the nipples are so tight. They fit into my hands perfectly.”

“I’m glad you like them.” Nina pressed closer, pushing her breast against his palm. “You have…a very gentle touch.”

“When I’m not out of my head with lust, you mean.” He gave a low laugh. “Which I am right now, but I’m trying to take things slow…to make it last.”

“That’s the idea,” Nina agreed. “The longer it lasts, the more satisfied the collar should be.”

He shook his head. “That’s not why I’m trying to make it last, Nina. It’s because I’ve been wanting to touch you like this from the first moment I saw you. And I don’t know when I’ll ever get the chance again.”

“Reddix…” she began, but he kissed her again, and his hand moved lower, stroking over her belly and hips until it came to a stop lightly cupping her mound.

Nina opened her eyes and pulled back from the kiss.

“I—”

“Spread for me, Nina.” His deep voice was low and demanding and his eyes wouldn’t let her go. “Let me touch you everywhere.”

She felt helpless to disobey his command. Even more than that—she didn’t want to disobey it. With a soft little moan, she parted her thighs and let him in.

* * * * *

Her soft, sweet little pussy felt incredibly right in his hand. She was fragile and warm and the soft mound of her neatly trimmed thatch tickled his palm. But even more than the feel of her cleft in his hand, Reddix felt privileged by the trust she was showing him. In no way did he deserve such a display of complete confidence, such openness. And yet Nina gave it to him without hesitation when he asked. Looking down into her beautiful, star-like eyes as he cupped her, he felt like she’d reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. He wanted her more than any other woman he’d ever seen, but it was more than that—there was a connection between them. One he couldn’t deny, even though he tried to.

“Nina,” he whispered softly and bent to kiss her again. At the same time, he slid just the tip of his middle finger over her slit.

She moaned slightly and opened even more for him. Reddix broke the kiss and looked down. He had moved them slightly so that she was lying on her back now, with his arm under her head. In the firelight, he could plainly see how swollen her little cunt lips were. As she spread her legs, they opened for him, revealing her inner pussy, already slick with her honey.

He groaned low in his throat. Gods, how he wanted to taste her there—to bury his face between her thighs and lap and suck until she came all over his face.

“So sweet,” he murmured hoarsely. “Want to taste you, sweetheart—like you tasted me.”

A look of uncertainty came over her face, and she half-closed her legs again.

“I don’t know. I’m not…very comfortable with that.”

Reddix was disappointed, but he had promised himself he would do only what she wanted and no more.

“All right then,” he said gently, bending down to give her another brief kiss on the lips. “I won’t ask for anything you don’t want to give.”

“Thank you.” Nina looked relieved and much more relaxed. Reddix stroked her again, and she moaned softly and opened her legs once more.

His mouth still watered to taste her sweetness, but he held himself back. Instead, he contented himself with sliding two fingertips gently along her slit again, dipping into her slippery depths to caress the tight little button of her clit.

Nina gasped, her hips jumping at his touch. Reddix felt his cock surge, reminding him he was painfully hard. But he didn’t care. Nina was so beautiful and perfect, lying here spread open before him, he just wanted to concentrate on her. Besides, touching her like this was making him so hot he almost felt like he could come just from bringing her pleasure.

“Do you like this?” he murmured, sliding gently over her clit again and then circling the little button with one fingertip. “Do you like it when I pet your pussy, Nina?”

“Y-yes,” she whispered, rolling her hips to get more of his soft caresses. “God, that feels so—oh.”

“Feels good to me too,” Reddix assured her, still stroking. “But now I want to touch deeper—inside you.”

“Yes.” She nodded, her eyes half-lidded, almost drugged with pleasure. “Yes, do it.”

He slid two fingers down her slippery inner pussy until he found the entrance to her core. Then, looking into her eyes the whole time, he pressed deep inside her, entering with one long, slow, smooth thrust.

Nina moaned his name and pumped her hips, thrusting up as though she was trying to get more.

“That’s right,” Reddix growled, feeling his cock surge again. “Work yourself on my fingers, sweetheart. Fuck yourself on me.”

Then he began a steady rhythm, fucking into her with two thick fingers while he slid the pad of his thumb over and around her throbbing clit. Nina was almost sobbing by now. She had her hands buried in his hair and was pulling him down, wanting another kiss.

Reddix was happy to oblige her. Around his fingers, he could feel her slick, tight channel grasping him like a silk glove. Gods, how he wished it was his tongue or his cock buried inside her instead. But this was good too—incredibly damn good. Holding a beautiful female in his arms, hearing her call his name while he pleasured her…he definitely couldn’t complain.

Nina began panting faster, her hips moving more erratically. Her nipples were tight and deep red in the firelight. In response to her obvious need, Reddix speeded up, thrusting faster and deeper into her slick, tight little pussy.

“Reddix!” she gasped, bucking her hips. “Oh God, so close…”

“Come on, then, sweetheart,” he growled softly in her ear. “Come for me—I want you to.”

“I…I will. I’m trying…” She seemed so close but still not quite able to reach the edge. Though he had promised not to use his mouth on her, Reddix couldn’t help himself. Ducking his head, he took one of her tight nipples between his lips and sucked hard, lashing the sensitive tip with his tongue.

With a low wail, Nina came, calling his name. Her inner cunt spasmed around his invading fingers, making his cock surge again. Gods, how he wanted to be inside her right now, feeling that tight grip around his shaft!

Forget it, he told himself sternly. It’s never going to happen. Even if she was willing, you couldn’t do it right. You have an inverted Touch Sense—how could you ever pleasure her properly or bond her to you?

He pushed the depressing thoughts away and concentrated on her pleasure. She looked so beautiful, coming in his arms. Her dark hair was spread around her head like a halo, her cheeks were flushed, her mouth half open as called his name…the most gorgeous sight he’d ever seen.

Leaning down he took her mouth, swallowing her passionate cries eagerly, pulling her to him to feel her sweet body quiver with the pleasure of orgasm. She kissed him back, gripping his shoulders tightly, holding on to him as though he was the only solid point in a storm only she could feel.

Reddix held her tightly, trying to memorize the feel of her in his arms, trying to commit her sweet scent and the silky texture of her skin to memory. In that moment, he had all he had ever wanted, and even if he was never destined to repeat this moment with Nina, he knew he would never forget it.

Chapter Twenty-four

“And you’re both all right? You and also the girl you, er…”

“It’s all right, Saber—you can say it,” Reddix growled. “The girl I kidnapped. Her name is Nina, and yes, she’s fine. In fact, she’s right here.” He motioned for Nina who had been standing behind him in the knee-high purple-gray grass.

“Hi.” She came out from around the big Kindred smiling self-consciously. It wasn’t usually like her to be shy, but the silver ship bearing Reddix’s friends had dropped out of the sky with no warning. Reddix had gone back to wearing his own clothing after the first night he’d been awake, but Nina had gotten used to the comfortable fur blanket-dress, and she hadn’t had time to change back into her scrubs. She was well aware of how strange her new “clothes” looked and was worried about what the other Kindred might think of her.

A concerned looking warrior with brown hair was standing there in front of a bright shiny silver ship, much like the one she and Reddix had crashed in. Beside him was a girl with long blonde hair that had green streaks in it. Reddix had explained briefly that Saber was his best friend and Lissa was his wife although there seemed to be some other relationship there he hadn’t explained.

Before Nina could say another word, the blonde girl came forward and hugged her impulsively.

“Are you all right?” she asked when she pulled back, looking Nina over anxiously. “I know I don’t know you personally, but I feel like I do. I’ve been talking to your Mehoo-Jimmy, and she is so worried.”

“Oh, poor Mehoo! Is she all right?” Nina asked. “I know my, uh, disappearing like that must have given her an awful scare.”

Lissa smiled. “She’s all right, but I’m sure she’ll be much better once she gets her arms around you. She asked me to give you a big hug when I met you. I couldn’t understand how she knew you were all right when we only picked up your beacon, but she seemed really sure.”

“Mehoo is funny like that.” Nina said. “Sometimes she just…knows things.”

Lissa nodded. “That’s not unheard of among my people—she must be close to the Goddess.” She frowned. “She also said to tell you that you must ‘heal the bear.’ Do you know what that means?”

Nina threw a quick glance at Reddix. “Um…I think so.”

“Anyway, I’m just so glad you’re all right.” Lissa smiled and squeezed Nina again who smiled and hugged her back.

Her husband, Saber, nodded at Nina formally. “Reddix is my oldest friend, but I must ask, are you well? Have you been injured in any way?”

Nina shook her head. “Reddix and I had a few…disagreements at first. But we came to an understanding. I just…didn’t think you’d get here so fast. Reddix only set off the beacon two days ago.”

“We were scanning for your signal almost from the minute you flew into that wormhole,” Lissa said. “We were so afraid something had happened to you. So afraid…”

“That I had hurt her,” Reddix growled.

“Well…yes.” Lissa raised her chin defiantly. “What else were we supposed to think?”

“Nothing. You were right to think as you did.” Reddix frowned. “But I was wrong—completely misguided. I would never hurt Nina or allow her to come to harm now. Not even if my life depended on it.”

He looked at Saber as he spoke, and Nina saw him scratching at the blood red tattoo which decorated his wrist. She had noticed only that morning that it seemed to have grown again. It had started as just a small red snake-looking mark, and now the snake had almost encircled his wrist. Remembering how he had forced her to touch it when he first grabbed her, she wanted to ask him what it meant. Did it have to do with the swamp witch who had promised him a cure? But before she’d gotten a chance to demand answers, Healing One had come and told her that a new ship had landed on the planet.

I thought we’d have more time, Nina thought for the hundredth time since she and Reddix had hurried through the Feeling People’s village to meet his friends. More time to talk. More time to be together. In the past few days since she had begun helping Reddix “feed” the collar, they had grown much, much closer. Reddix had opened up to her, talking about his childhood and telling her bits and pieces of his past. Nina had reciprocated, telling about her mother’s early death, her father’s gambling problems and the way Mehoo-Jimmy had practically raised her.

She felt closer to him now than she had ever felt to her ex-fiancé—closer than she’d ever felt to anyone but Mehoo. And now, suddenly, the magical time they had shared together was ending. She was going back to Earth, and Reddix was going back to his home planet of Tarsia…wherever that was. Nina didn’t know, only that it was in a different galaxy billions of light years away. Would she ever see him again? How would he be able to function without her there to dampen his RTS?

Would he miss her?

She felt like crying, but she smiled bravely instead.

“We’re fine, both of us,” Reddix was assuring his friends again. “Although I could use a universal key for this damn Hurkon collar.” He tugged at the collar which barely blinked in response. Lately they had been “feeding” it so much it seemed sluggish—like a grizzly bear which had gorged on too much honey.

“I have one in the ship,” Saber said. “I brought it along just in case, when we realized the ship you’d ah…purloined was the one meant for Yonnie Six.” He raised an eyebrow. “Apparently a very dangerous prisoner escaped because the collar wasn’t delivered to them on time.”

Reddix frowned. “I’m sorry about that and for all the harm I caused. I will, of course, make reparations.”

“No need. They captured him again—but not before he’d killed several details of extremely well-armed guards.”

“But this prisoner…” Reddix said. “Did they say what he looked like?”

Saber shook his head. “No, only that he was a class eight felon and extremely dangerous.”

“Class eight?” Reddix gave a low whistle. “That’s a fucking psychopath. No wonder they wanted the collar.”

“Well, he started as a fighter on the Blood Circuit, but apparently, his violence got out of hand…several times. His owner hushed it up because he was so successful, but then he went too far, and there was no way to keep it quiet.”

“Who did he kill that they couldn’t hush up?” Nina asked.

“His owner,” Saber said grimly. “He was headed to Yonnie Six because they have the most secure triple max prison anywhere in the known universe, and they don’t mind taking dangerous prisoners—probably because they don’t respect males enough to fear them.”

“I’ve seen what that attitude can do.” Lissa shivered and looked at Saber. “Do you remember The Beast?”

“Of course I remember,” he said darkly. “It’s better not to speak of such things.” He looked at Reddix. “Why so much interest in the prisoner, Brother?”

Reddix frowned. “I had a dream. The night before I put on the collar. It was…strangely like what you’re describing. A prisoner escaping…guards talking about the collar and the fact that he was a felon…” He shook his head. “Probably nothing.”

“What I want to know is how long you’ve been wearing that collar and why you put it on in the first place?” Saber gave the collar a questioning look.

Reddix scowled. “That’s a long story.”

“He put it on for me,” Nina said quietly. “And let me hold the controls. So I could feel safe around him. So I could trust him.”

“Really?” Lissa looked at Reddix is obvious surprise.

“Seemed like the least I could do after kidnapping her and dragging her through a Goddess damned worm hold,” he grumbled, but Nina thought she saw a ghost of a smile playing around the corners of his mouth.

Lissa looked at Nina. “And how often did you have to shock him to keep him in line?”

“Not too often. Actually, we were mostly concerned about keeping the collar from shocking him itself,” Nina said before she thought.

“What? It started shocking you on its own?” Saber demanded.

Reddix shifted uneasily. “We…handled it.”

“How?” Lissa asked.

“We just…managed.” Nina cleared her throat. “But Reddix still needs to get it off.”

She blushed when she thought of the way they’d been keeping the collar content. After that first initial time, she’d lost a lot of her uncertainty and shyness, and in the past two days, she and Reddix hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other. Nina had tried to put certain restrictions on their activities—they hadn’t made love, and she still hadn’t allowed Reddix to taste her, though he has asked her on several occasions. By limiting their actions to touching and kissing, she’d been hoping to keep from getting hurt, thinking that maybe if she refused to give all of her body, she could keep her heart intact.

Now she realized what a fool she’d been. There was no way she could keep Reddix out of her heart. The big Kindred was already lodged there irrevocably, and now she was losing him. Of course, it was ridiculous to feel so much for her kidnapper, but he was more than that now. He was…

“Oh, is that one of the natives?” Lissa said, interrupting her thoughts. “We saw there were life forms when we scanned the planet. Are they sentient?”

“They sure as hell are,” Reddix growled, and Nina saw him wince.

Quickly she stepped close to the big Kindred and grabbed his hand, entwining their fingers. “They communicate by projecting their emotions,” she explained to Lissa and Saber.

At the touch of her hand on his, the wrinkles in Reddix’s forehead smoothed out and he took a deep breath. “Thanks, sweetheart.”

“No problem.” Again she wondered who would help him when they had gone their separate ways. From the corner of her eye she saw Lissa and Saber exchange a startled look, but before she could say anything, Healing One was there, his furry tentacles waving gently like branches in a breeze only he could feel.

“You are leaving?” he thought at Nina, sending an image of her and Reddix climbing into the silver ship and speeding away into the sky.

“We are,” she said aloud. Motioning to Lissa and Saber, she said, “These are our friends. They have come to take us home.” She tried to project feelings of warmth and gratitude and relief, but though she felt all those emotions, some others leaked in as well.

“You are…sad. You grieve.” Healing One came forward and stroked one tentacle gently across her face.

“I am,” Nina admitted softly. “I will…be sad to go.”

“Sad to part. To go your separate ways.” Healing One sent an image of Nina and Reddix going opposite directions.

“Yes,” she whispered. “But…I can’t help it.”

“Help what?” Reddix asked, frowning at her. Nina was glad that though they were holding hands, he still couldn’t eavesdrop on her conversation with Healing One. She didn’t want him to know how much he had come to mean to her—or how much it would hurt when they had to say goodbye.

“Nothing,” she said, trying to smile. “I told him we can’t help leaving since your friends are here to take us home.” She smiled at Healing One and said, “Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Hos…pi…” The alien sent a feeling of confusion.

“Your friendship,” Nina clarified. “Your kindness. Sharing your food and shelter with us.” She sent images of them staying in the Feeling People’s guest house and eating the purple mush.

“Welcome…” Healing One brushed a soft furry tentacle over her cheek again. “You are always welcome here, Nina. You and your mate.” He sent a picture of her and Reddix holding hands, just as they were now.

Nina had to sniff hard to keep from crying. “Thank you, Healing One,” she said, trying to smile. “I’ll never forget our time here on…” She paused for a moment, realizing she had never learned the name of the planet they had crashed on. “Um…what do you call your home world?” she asked.

“Home,” Healing One sent simply.

“Home,” Nina echoed. And it had felt like home because she and Reddix were together.

Reaching down, she gave Healing One a warm, one armed embrace. She would probably never see him again, but he had been kind to her and left a lasting impression on her heart. Even if she went back to living a boring, mundane existence on Earth, she’d had adventures here she would never forget. “Thank you,” she whispered again and then straightened up and looked at Reddix. “All right. I’m ready to go.”

* * * * *

“So what was that all about?” Saber asked as he strapped himself into the pilot’s chair and started checking the controls for take-off.

“What was what all about?” Reddix growled, strapping into the passenger side. The females were in the back, presumably getting along wonderfully if the emotions he felt coming from Lissa were any indication. But just now, it was hard to pay attention to anything but Saber’s sharp curiosity, pricking him like thorns.

“You know—the two of you were actually holding hands back there,” Saber said. “She reached for you, and you didn’t pull away.”

“Yeah. And?”

Saber blew out a breath in obvious frustration. “And you were touching her voluntarily. Do you not mind the feel of her emotions?”

“I can’t feel them at all,” Reddix said shortly. “In fact, I can’t feel anyone’s emotions when she touches me. It’s like a fucking miracle.”

“That’s amazing.” Saber’s excitement stabbed at him, like too-bright sunlight lancing his eyeballs after an extended stay indoors. “So then, you’ve found your female—the one you’re meant to be with. Right?”

“Wrong,” Reddix growled. “You know damn well I can’t join with anyone outside the Clans—our son would never be accepted as a ruler.”

“You don’t need to worry about that anymore,” Saber said in a low voice. “Lissa and I are going back to Tarsia with you. We’ll announce our relationship, and I’ll state that I don’t intend to step down as the next OverChief.”

Reddix laughed harshly. “Forgive me for being pessimistic, old friend, but do you really think the Clans will accept a male embroiled in an incestuous love affair as their ruler?”

“They’ll have to.” Saber raised his chin, his determination like a warm stone in the palm of Reddix’s hand. “The old ways are outdated. Lissa and I have no blood ties between us. We’re not really related at all.”

Reddix shook his head. “That won’t matter. The older generation clings to tradition. So you’ll excuse me if I don’t get my hopes up and declare my own hopeless and forbidden love affair just yet.”

“Do what you like.” Saber looked away but his worry about the future was like an ache in Reddix’s gut.

“Hey…” Reddix reached out a hand to his old friend and then let it drop. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to cause you more distress than you’re already in.”

“It’s all right. Lissa and I will be fine. And if the older generation won’t accept it, that’s their problem.” Saber was obviously trying to sound confident, but his uncertainty still gnawed at Reddix like many tiny, sharp teeth. “We’ll be fine,” he said again.

Reddix simply grunted as there didn’t seem to be anything else to say. Already he was tired of feeling everyone’s emotions again. How in the Seven Hells was he going to manage when Nina had gone back to Earth and he had to deal with it all the time again? You managed for years on your own, he lectured himself. And you can manage again. Leave Nina out of it.

But he didn’t want to. And it wasn’t only Nina’s emotion-dampening ability he would miss. It was her beautiful face and deep blue eyes…the soft sound of her laughter…the touch of her hands and the feel of her body against his…the way he felt he could talk to her—really talk about almost anything. Gods, living without her was going to be sheer hell…

Forget it, whispered a little voice in his head. It’s not like you could ever really satisfy her or bond her to you for life. She’s better off without you, and she probably knows it.

“So are we about to take off?” Nina’s voice shocked him out of his gloomy reverie.

“Um, in just a minute,” Saber answered. He shot Reddix a glance as if to ask how long she had been standing there. How much of their conversation had she heard?

Reddix shrugged and looked back at Nina. “You two had better get yourselves strapped in, sweetheart,” he said. “We’re all ready for takeoff, and it might be a rough ride going through the wormhole again.”

“Oh, we’re not going back through that wormhole,” Saber said, shaking his head.

“What? Why?” Reddix frowned.

“Well, for one thing because it’s gone. It was so unstable it collapsed in on itself not long after we finally located your beacon’s signal,” Saber said.

“Then…how are we getting home?” Nina sounded worried, and Reddix felt a stab of regret—his own, not hers. Probably, she couldn’t wait to get back to Earth and her regular life.

“We’ll be using the Fold,” Saber told her.

“The fold?” Nina still looked uncertain.

“Don’t worry—it’s safe,” Reddix explained. “The Kindred Mother Ship has the ability to fold space between one point and another. We’ll enter the Fold and come out in orbit around your moon.”

“Wonderful.” Nina smiled, but Reddix thought the expression looked forced. Was she worried about the trip? Scared? For the thousandth time he wished he knew how she was feeling.

“It really is safe,” Saber tried to reassure her. “It’s the way the Kindred Mother Ship came to your world in the first place.”

She shook her head. “I wasn’t really worried about the safety. I was just…”

“Just what?” Reddix asked, feeling a surge of frustration.

“Nothing.” She gave him a strained smile again. “Just thinking about getting home, I guess.”

“Oh.” He sat back in his chair heavily. “Well, you’ll be there soon. Better buckle up.”

“Right. Well, I’ll go in the back with Lissa and leave you two alone to fly the ship.” She nodded and disappeared into the back of the ship without another look at Reddix.

He felt utterly miserable. Would she leave him the same way when she went back to Earth—without even a backward glance? Could it be that the whole time they’d been together she’d just been appeasing him? Doing whatever she could to get along with her kidnapper until she could be rescued and taken home?

Or maybe she had just been helping to satiate the collar in order to keep him from getting shocked because she was such a compassionate person. Reddix put a hand to his throat which was now bare, wishing for the black wire of the Hurkon collar again. Wishing for the few brief days they’d shared together. But was Nina wishing the same thing or was she looking forward to getting home?

Did she even really care at all?

“All right, here we go,” Saber said.

With a roar of engines the little ship shot up into the sky, leaving the pale grayish-purple planet behind. As he watched it get smaller and smaller in the viewscreen, Reddix reflected ruefully that he had been happier there on that featureless, barren place than he ever had been on his home world.

And he doubted such happiness would ever come again.

Chapter Twenty-five

The ride through the Fold was…interesting to say the least. But Lissa warned her it affected different people in different ways so at least Nina felt semi-prepared. When they flew through the red gash in space it felt like she was being pulled out long and thin, like a piece of spaghetti. It was a painless sensation but disconcerting—Nina refused to freak out. She just closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing. I’m okay, she told herself over and over. Everything is going to be all right. Luckily the weird feeling didn’t last long.

“It’s over now. We’re through.”

At the Kindred girl’s voice in her ear, Nina’s eyes flew open. She looked at her arms and legs to be sure and was relieved to see that the spaghettification really had been all in her mind—everything was normal. She flexed her fingers and toes cautiously, making sure everything was in working order. It was.

“So…can we get up now?” she asked, looking at Lissa.

“Of course. We should be right by the Mother Ship. We’ll land there briefly to drop you off, and another shuttle will take you back down to Earth.”

“Oh?” Nina asked. “And where are you and Saber going? And…and Reddix? What about him?” she couldn’t help adding. “I thought maybe…he might at least tell me goodbye.”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to say your goodbyes before we drop you off on the Mother Ship. The three of us are all going straight on to Tarsia,” Lissa said. She had a grim look on her lovely face. “We have…unfinished business there.”

Nina thought about the swamp witch again and the mark on Reddix’s arm. She wanted to ask Lissa about it, but she had the feeling that the Kindred girl wasn’t on the very best of terms with Reddix. Also, though Lissa was extremely sweet and friendly, Nina simply hadn’t known her long enough to get into personal details with her.

“Well,” she said lamely. “I guess I should go ahead and say goodbye if we’ll be docking so soon.”

“It should only be a minute or two,” Lissa assured her. “I—” But just then worried voices from the cockpit of the ship interrupted her.

“…sorry to tell you this,” an unfamiliar male voice was saying. “But she might not make it. and she’s asking for you.”

Nina and Lissa exchanged uncertain glances and then hurried up to the front of the ship together.

A Kindred warrior with pale, spiky blond hair and ice blue eyes was on the viewscreen. The grave look on his face told Nina that he had very bad news. A second look at Reddix’s face confirmed it—the big Kindred looked absolutely stricken, as though someone had punched him in the stomach and he couldn’t get his wind back.

“What is it?” she asked urgently, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“My little sister, Minda…” He shook his head, his mouth working for a moment as though he didn’t know how to say the words. “She was pregnant, but the baby…came too early. The delivery was hard and now…they’re not sure…not sure…”

“She’s in critical condition, and she’s asking for her big brother,” the blond Kindred said. “The message came to us and we couldn’t relay it until you were within range.”

Reddix looked up at the man. “But Minda…will she…?”

“I’m sorry, Reddix—the physician I spoke to said she had lost a lot of blood. There’s still a chance, but you need to go now. In case…” The blond Kindred shook his head. “Just in case.”

“We’ll go at once, Sylvan. Can you calibrate the Fold to take us to Tarsia?” Saber was already setting the controls on the complicated looking main panel.

“I’ll have it done right now,” the blond Kindred assured him. “Just give us a minute to recalibrate.”

“But Nina…I’m sorry, but we promised her Mehoo she’d go back to Earth,” Lissa said, coming up behind her. “Do we have time to drop her off on the Mother Ship, Sylvan?”

The blond Kindred on the viewscreen frowned. “Possibly but the message was urgent. Every minute you spend—”

“Then don’t. Take me with you,” Nina said quickly.

Saber frowned. “Are you sure? We promised your kin—”

“Mehoo will understand,” Nina said firmly. She looked at the blond Kindred called Sylvan. “Could you or could someone possibly get a message back to my grandmother telling her I’m fine and I’ll be back soon?”

The blond warrior nodded. “You have my oath as a Kindred warrior, it will be done.”

“Are you sure?” Reddix looked up at her at last. He was still sitting slumped in the passenger seat, and the look on his face was one of shock and sorrow. “Sure you want to do this?” he asked Nina.

“Of course I’m sure,” she said firmly. “I can’t even think of letting you waste time dropping me off. And besides if something…happens, I want to be with you.” She squeezed his broad shoulder gently.

Reddix covered her hand with his much larger one and squeezed back. “Thank you, Nina,” he said hoarsely.

Sylvan had been talking to someone off-screen, but now he faced them again. “The Fold is calibrated for Tarsia,” he said. “May the Goddess be with you. Reddix, we will be praying earnestly for your kin.”

“Thank you, Sylvan.” Reddix nodded. Then he squeezed Nina’s hand once more. “Better go back and buckle up again, sweetheart. Tarsia is located near an asteroid field—it might be a bumpy ride.”

The second ride through the fold was a little bumpier, but Nina was so concerned about Reddix she barely even noticed it.

“Now, I warn you, Tarsia isn’t the most open and friendly place in the world,” Lissa told her as they unbuckled themselves from the deep bucket seats that folded out of the wall for the second time. “In fact, they can be downright hostile to outsiders or anyone they perceive as different.”

“I’m not worried.” Nina lifted her chin. “I’m not here for any of them—I’m here for Reddix.”

Lissa gave her a surprised look. “You really care for him don’t you—even after the way he treated you.”

“He didn’t really treat me badly after we got to know each other. And when he took me, he was desperate,” Nina said defensively. “You don’t know how he suffers with his RTS. It’s like hell on Earth for him.”

“Well, it’s liable to be worse as soon as we get back to our home planet.” Lissa sighed. “Poor Minda—I don’t really know her, but Saber thinks of her as a little sister because he and Reddix are so close.”

“I know he loves her more than just about anyone else in his family,” Nina said quietly. “She and your husband are the only ones who stood by him after he was diagnosed. He felt ostracized by everyone else.”

Lissa gave her another surprised look. “He told you all that?”

“I read between the lines a little but yes, in so many words.” Nina sighed. “Speaking of words, does everyone here on Tarsia speak English as well as you do?”

“Oh, I’m glad you said that!” Lissa hopped up and ran to a cabinet on the opposite wall. She rummaged around for a moment before coming back with a clear gel caplet filled with bluish-green liquid. “Here,” she said, holding it out to Nina. “Take it.”

“Uh…” Nina picked up the pill and eyed it doubtfully. “This thing is freaking horse pill—it’s huge. What’s inside it?”

“Translation bacteria,” Lissa said. “You’re lucky—you used to have to take a painful injection to get them. This is something new Commander Sylvan has worked up and they’re including them in all the shuttles now for non-Kindred passengers.”

“How exactly does it work?” Nina was still skeptical.

“Once you take the pill, the bacteria will migrate to the speech part of your brain and help you understand any spoken language you hear.”

“Wow…” Nina looked at the turquoise capsule with new respect.

“Take it,” Lissa urged. “Believe me, you need to know what people are saying on Tarsia. And if you’re able to speak the language they might be a little more friendly.” She sighed. “Or at least a little less cold.”

Nina shook her head. “Okay…why do I get the feeling that you don’t exactly get all warm and fuzzy when you think of home?”

“Because I don’t,” the Kindred girl said shortly. “The people here have never liked me very much, and after Saber and I make our announcement, they’re going to hate me.”

“Hate you?” Nina asked frowning. “Why?”

Lissa shook her head. “Never mind, the ship is settling so we must be landing now. Just take the pill.”

Nina wanted to know more, but clearly, this wasn’t the time to ask.

“I guess if I’m going to be a stranger in a strange land I should at least know the language,” she muttered. With some difficulty, she dry swallowed the huge capsule and followed Lissa up to the front of the ship.

Reddix and Saber were already unstrapped and ready to go.

“Minda’s home is just down at the end of the row,” Reddix was saying. “Let’s hurry.”

“Right behind you,” Saber said, but Reddix was already out the door of the small shuttle and walking briskly down a road which seemed to Nina to be made out of meticulously laid dark brown bricks. She and Lissa and Saber hurried after him, but she couldn’t help looking from side to side, trying to absorb as much of this new alien world as she could as they went.

The streets were very neat and orderly as far as she could see, and the houses were all surrounded by well-manicured, deep yellow lawns sprinkled with neatly trimmed greenish flowers. Each dwelling was built of shiny dark gray or black building blocks that looked to Nina like giant Lego bricks. They were uniformly round—giant blackish-gray spheres polished to a glossy hue—and each was perched on a single slender stalk. Long flights of moving steps like escalators ascended to each round house though some of them had ramps instead. Nina thought it all looked extremely neat and uniform—almost as though the neighborhood had a dress code that no one dared deviate from.

From inside the houses, which had large, round, porthole-type windows, she could see people staring out at them. None of them had very friendly expressions on their faces and almost all of them had dark brown hair, tan skin, and brown eyes with hardly any diversity at all. Nina tried waving at one of them—a child who looked to me about five or so. The child, who might have been a boy or a girl, waved back timidly, but the next moment its mother yanked it out of sight, giving Nina a nasty look before disappearing herself.

Wow, Lissa wasn’t kidding about them being unfriendly here, she thought. They must not like anyone who’s remotely different. It must have been awful for Reddix growing up here—especially after he got RTS.

Just as she was thinking that, they came to a smaller, shabbier sphere near the end of the dark brown street. The giant Lego-like bricks it was made of were faded to an almost pastel shade, and their corners were more rounded too, giving it a softer appearance. Personally, Nina thought it looked better than the bigger, more polished looking spheres, but she bet that wasn’t the prevailing opinion in this place.

“Here we are.” Reddix bounded up the moving steps, not waiting for them to take him up to the round red door which was faded to a soft rose shade. He clapped his hands loudly—maybe the Tarsian version of knocking?—and called something in his guttural native language.

To Nina’s surprise, she understood his words. He was calling for someone named Sterx to let them in.

The round door opened, and a young Kindred warrior with brown hair and eyes appeared. He had a haggard expression on his face which looked like it belonged on a much older man.

“Where is she, Sterx?” Reddix demanded. “Where’s my little sister?”

“Through here,” the other man said dully, giving a limp wave.

“What does the physician say?” Saber asked as they all went into the small spherical house. “Is she all right?”

“We hope she will be,” Sterx said hoarsely. “But the baby…she lost it.”

“I’m so sorry, Sterx,” Lissa said softly. Nina would have added her condolences too, but she didn’t know the man, who she assumed was Minda’s husband. She hung back, feeling awkward. Reddix was headed purposefully down a long round hallway, but Nina wasn’t sure if she should follow him or not—she didn’t want to get in the way of his reunion with his sister.

She felt a light touch on her elbow and turned to see Lissa standing behind her.

“Is it true what Saber tells me, that you can damp down or filter out the emotions around Reddix?” the Kindred girl asked.

Nina nodded, wondering when the two of them had had time to talk. “Yes, I don’t know how I do it, but that’s how it seems to work.”

“Then go to him,” Lissa said in a low voice. “The emotions his sister is feeling must be agonizingly sharp. Think how bad they’ll be for Reddix. He’ll feel all his own grief and hers as well.”

“You’re right,” Nina said. She’d gotten used to keeping close to the big Kindred on the planet of the Feeling People, making sure she was always within reach so none of their emotions could overwhelm him. Now it occurred to her that Reddix was about to face something more awful and overwhelming here on his home world than anything they had encountered on the alien planet. And when he did, she wanted to be there to help him.

She followed him down the hall.

Chapter Twenty-six

Minda’s grief hit him like a sharpened ax to his chest before he even saw her. Reddix staggered briefly, one hand going involuntarily to his heart and the other to the wall to hold himself up.

It’s all right—it’s just pain, he reminded himself. And if Minda has pain, I want to help her bear it.

Still, it was difficult to make himself open the door at the end of the hallway and go to her. Minda had always been the one person in his family he could stand to be around—mainly because she made a real effort to remain calm whenever she was with him. She alone had undertaken to learn about the RTS which afflicted him, she alone still treated him like a person instead of a dirty secret to be hidden away and never talked about. Their parents had tried to ignore his condition but not Minda—she faced it head on and talked about it with him, trying to find solutions and hope even though there was no hope to give.

As I have no hope to give her, Reddix thought. But maybe at least he could offer her comfort. He paused for a moment, his hand on the latch, and took a deep breath, bracing himself. Then he opened the door.

The grief that rushed out to greet him was like a tidal wave—it nearly knocked him, over, and for a moment he felt dizzy. He leaned forward, like a man walking into a stiff wind, and went to the bed where his little sister lay anyway.

“Reddix,” she whispered. “You came.”

“Of course, I came,” he said gruffly. “Didn’t I always promise you I’d come if you needed me?”

“Yes.” Minda tried to smile and failed.

Reddix wanted badly to hug her, but her grief stabbed at him, like a sword piercing his chest. It hurt like hell, but he was careful not to show it. He sat in the chair beside her bed and looked at her instead.

The Minda he remembered was always laughing and smiling with rosy cheeks and bright eyes. Now she was white and thin and pale, and her eyes were red-rimmed with weariness and sorrow.

“Reddix,” she whispered brokenly. “I…I lost it. Him. It was a he…a little boy.”

“Oh, Minda…” Tears stung his eyes, and he had to clear his throat. “I don’t know what to say. I’m so damn sorry.”

“So am I.” She began to cry too, tears leaking from her warm brown eyes. Reddix felt them like acid rain on his face—stinging, burning droplets that felt like they were etching rivulets down his own cheeks. Something else was running down his face too—something warm.

Minda wiped her eyes and looked at him in concern. “Your nose is bleeding.”

“It’s fine.” Reddix swiped at it with his sleeve. “I’ll be fine—you’re the one I’m worried about. Are you going to be all right?”

“The doctor says maybe, if I can stay strong. But Reddix, I’m not sure I want to. I feel so…empty now. We already decorated the nursery and we…we…” She shook her head, unable to go one.

Her despair washed over him like a drowning flood. Reddix took a deep breath, feeling like he was inhaling pure darkness. Spots were dancing in front of his eyes, but he couldn’t pass out—not now.

“You have to stay,” he told her urgently. “You have to live. I know it’s hard, but you have to be here for Sterx…and for me. Please, Minda. Please.”

Her white hand lay on the coverlet. He reached to take it, but she pulled it away.

“No. I know touching makes it worse.”

“Don’t care about that,” Reddix growled.

“Well, I do. I shouldn’t have called you—not now, when I can’t be calm.” She started crying again. “I…I know this is hard.”

“Not nearly as hard as it is for you,” he insisted. Standing up, he leaned over her bed. “Come here. I want to hold you.” It would feel like a thousand swords running him through at once, but he didn’t care—didn’t give a damn about anything but comforting his little sister.

“No, Reddix—you’ll hurt yourself!” Minda protested, shrinking away. “Your RTS is getting worse and—”

Someone cleared their throat behind him. Reddix turned in irritation. Who would dare to interrupt such a private, personal moment?

It was Nina, looking at him apologetically.

“Forgive me,” she said quietly. “But I thought…if there’s any way I can help…” She didn’t finish with words. Instead, she put one hand tentatively on the back of his neck.

The moment her cool, soft fingertips brushed his skin, Reddix had instant relief. The stabbing grief, the acid tears, the dark despair that had been creeping into his lungs with every breath suddenly vanished. He still felt sorrow but only his own—he sympathized with his little sister, but the emotional storm around her no longer felt like a personal, physical attack.

He sighed in relief and looked at Nina gratefully.

“Thank you,” he said hoarsely. “If you could just stand there…”

“Of course,” she murmured. “Go ahead—I won’t let go of you.”

Reddix turned back to his little sister.

“It’s all right,” he told Minda quietly. “This is Nina—she shuts off the RTS when she touches me. So now, come on …let me hold you.”

“Oh, Reddix…” Minda held up her arms, no longer refusing his comfort.

Reddix enfolded her gently, holding her just as he had when they were younger and she hurt herself and came crying to him because their parents were too busy to be bothered. He held her close and let her sob against his chest, cherishing this moment even though it hurt—loving Minda with all his heart and praying to the Goddess that she would live and be all right. That she would recover from this loss and not leave him.

And through it all, he felt Nina’s soft, gentle fingers on his neck. She stood there quietly, not speaking, guarding him, standing between him and the disease that had eaten his life and made such simple, physical contact impossible for so many years.

He was beyond grateful. Maybe she does care, whispered a little voice in his brain. Maybe she feels for you the way you feel for her.

Maybe.

* * * * *

Nina stood there quietly, making sure to keep skin-to-skin contact with Reddix while he held his sister and trying not to intrude on their reunion. Still, she couldn’t help watching the gentle way he held Minda or hearing the soothing, comforting words he whispered to her as he stroked her hair.

And as she watched, she felt her heart melting.

She’d been trying so hard to keep herself from falling for the big Kindred completely, reminding herself of how he’d kidnapped her, intending to offer her as a sacrifice to the witch. She’d told herself to remember every harsh word he’d ever said, every time he warned her away and told her to leave him alone because he would bring her nothing but pain.

But somehow, watching him hold his frail little sister in his arms and beg her to live, Nina couldn’t remember any of that. All she saw was a man filled with love and compassion—a man who only needed a little help to let those qualities out.

I could give him that help. I am giving him that help, she couldn’t help thinking. I could be there for him always. We could go somewhere deserted without many people. We could make a life together…

It was just a silly pipe dream, and she knew it. But still, she couldn’t get it out of her head.

At last Reddix murmured something in his sister’s ear, and she whispered, “All right.” When he sat up on the edge of the bed, still holding her hand, her face looked sad but serene. It was as though she had found a measure of peace in his arms she couldn’t find anywhere else.

“It’ll be all right,” Reddix said hoarsely, and Nina wasn’t sure if he was talking to his little sister or himself. “Everything is going to be all right. You’ll make it through this, Minda—the same way you helped me through when I was first diagnosed.”

“The doctor did say I could…could try again eventually,” she whispered. “But Reddix, I wanted this one so much.”

“I know,” he murmured, squeezing her hand.

“Not just for me, though,” Minda continued earnestly. “I wanted him for you, big brother.”

“For me?” Reddix looked confused. “Why?”

“I thought maybe you could name him your heir—you know, so you wouldn’t have to become OverChief after all.”

“The lineage wouldn’t be strong enough,” Reddix said gently, stroking her fingers with his thumb. “I know you mean well, little sister, but the clans won’t accept a ruler with such weak ties to the blood.”

“I suppose you’re right. Which is exactly the reason our mother and father didn’t want me to marry Sterx in the first place.” She sighed. “That’s why they’re not here now, you know. Sterx wanted to call them, but I wouldn’t let him. They barely speak to me anymore, and I didn’t…didn’t want them here after what happened. I didn’t want anyone but you, Reddix.”

He smiled. “I’m here, aren’t I? Forget about our parents and have the life you want. Someone in this family should, after all.”

“Poor Reddix.” Minda squeezed his hand sympathetically. “You really are dreading stepping up to become the OverChief, aren’t you?”

“He won’t have to step up after all. I’m back.” Saber stepped in the doorway. “Is it all right to come in?”

Minda smiled at him wanly. “Saber—of course you can come in. It was good of you to bring back my brother when I called for him.”

“Of course. And you know I think of you as a little sister, too.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Speaking of little sisters, is Lissa here?”

“I am.” Lissa came into the room too, which was beginning to seem a bit crowded. “Saber and I are together now, Minda. I hope you understand.”

Minda nodded. “I do, but I’m afraid most people won’t. I’m glad for your happiness, but the situation is very hard on Reddix. He has no wish to rule, even if he didn’t have RTS. And I don’t see how the people will accept a male as OverChief who is married to his own sister.”

“Um, what?” Nina asked before she thought. Up until now she’d been trying to blend into the background and just be unobtrusive, but this was too weird to be ignored.

Lissa shot Reddix a look. “She doesn’t know?”

“It didn’t exactly come up,” he growled. “We talked more about our pasts—I didn’t want to think about the future.”

“What future?” Nina asked. “What do you mean? I’m sorry, but I’m completely lost here.”

“The future where I have to agree to become the ruling OverChief of all the Touch Kindred clans because the rightful ruler, Saber, has decided to marry his own sister,” Reddix said.

“In our defense, there isn’t any real blood tie between Saber and myself,” Lissa said quickly. “We just come from the same clan. Here on Tarsia that’s considered, um, incest.”

“Incest?” Nina was still shocked.

“I’m afraid so,” Minda said weakly. “The thought of Lissa and Saber getting joined is as repulsive to our people as if Reddix and I had decided to become mates.”

Reddix made a face. “Ugh. I love you, little sister but…”

“Right.” She gave him a ghost of a smile. “The feeling’s mutual.”

“The laws here on Tarsia concerning who one is allowed to join with are very strict,” Lissa said quietly. “And strictly enforced. They even inject infants with a kinship compound at birth to make members of the same clan repugnant to each other.”

“Wow, that’s…harsh.” Nina shook her head and looked at Reddix. “So after Saber, you’re next in line for the throne? You never said you were royalty.”

“I’m not,” he growled. “I mean, it’s not like that. I just have the right blood to rule. And if the line of succession is broken this whole damn planet will erupt into civil war.”

“There’s not going to be any war,” Saber said firmly. “I’ve already spoken to my father. He’s convening a public meeting of the clan leaders tomorrow evening. Lissa and I will announce our relationship to them and any of the clansmen and women who care to come. At that time, I will tell everyone that I fully intend to take my father’s place when he steps down.”

“You’d better have an exit strategy planned then,” Reddix said grimly. “And a ship waiting to take you far, far away.”

“We’ll be fine,” Lissa said, but Nina noticed that her voice quivered. “Everything will be all right—you’ll see.”

“I hope you’re right.” Reddix sighed doubtfully. “I hope to the Goddess you’re right.”

Chapter Twenty-seven

“I just want to thank you for everything you did for me today.” Reddix stood in the doorway of his second guestroom awkwardly. Saber and Lissa were in the first guestroom since Saber’s parents hated their new daughter-in-law for “perverting” their son, but the two of them had already gone to bed.

Reddix was ready for bed himself—he’d already changed into a pair of dark blue sleep trousers and taken off his shirt. He and Nina had the rest of the house to themselves, and he wished he could ask her to share his bed instead of putting her across the house from him. But he had no legitimate reason to ask her to sleep with him—not now that the Hurkon collar had been removed. It felt wrong to sleep without her in his arms, but what else could he do? So he lingered in the doorway, talking, unwilling to say goodnight and go back to his own lonely bedchamber by himself.

“You don’t have to thank me.” Nina seemed to be feeling awkward and uncertain as well. She had taken a bath and changed too, from her fur dress into a silky gown Lissa had loaned her. It was deep blue which emphasized her eyes, and the thin material seemed to cling to every one of her generous curves. In fact, Reddix could have sworn he could see the tight peaks of her nipples just under the silky blue top of the gown…Realizing he was ogling her like a horny adolescent, he snapped his eyes back up to her face guiltily.

“Yes, I do have to thank you,” he protested. “The force of Minda’s grief was so strong…nearly overwhelming. I was close to passing out. If it hadn’t been for you being there, touching me…” He cleared his throat and looked down. “I haven’t hugged her like that in years,” he said gruffly. “Haven’t been able to stand it though the Goddess knows I wanted to. She’s so precious to me. Being able to comfort her today meant a lot.”

“I’m glad I could help,” Nina said softly. “More than I can say. Do you think she’ll be all right?”

Reddix nodded. “Minda’s a fighter,” he said grimly. “Goddess knows she fought for me, even when I didn’t want to fight for myself. I know how awful a loss like this must be for her, but I hope in time she’ll try again.”

“She’s going to make a wonderful mother someday,” Nina said softly. “It sounds like she got plenty of practice taking care of you when the two of you were growing up.”

“We took care of each other,” Reddix admitted. “Even before my RTS manifested, our parents were always off doing the political thing. The OverChief and his second rule by blood but they still have to keep the goodwill of the people by going out and visiting all over Tarsia.” He made a face. “It’s one reason I don’t want the fucking job.”

“Maybe you won’t have to take it,” she suggested.

“Maybe.” Reddix wasn’t very hopeful on that score. “I guess we’ll see after tomorrow night’s gathering.”

“Do you have to attend it?” Nina asked.

He nodded ruefully. “As second in the line of succession I’m afraid there’s no way to get out of it.”

She frowned. “But if there’s a big crowd of people…all those emotions…”

“It won’t be fun, but I can handle it.” Privately, he wasn’t sure he could, but he didn’t want to admit that to Nina. And besides, there were other things he had to worry about besides the crowd he would face tomorrow night. For instance, the lthss on his wrist had suddenly grown again since their landing on Tarsia. It was as though the small, evil creature knew he was home and was reminding him of his obligation to Xandra. Soon he would have to go and offer his blood to pay the bargain he had made. No doubt the witch would be disappointed to learn he hadn’t brought her the sacrifice of innocent blood she had demanded, but there was no way in hell he was letting Nina anywhere near that evil bitch’s hut.

“You won’t have to,” Nina said, pulling him out of his silent contemplation.

“Have to what?” Reddix asked, realizing he had missed something.

“I said, you won’t have to handle it alone,” Nina said softly. “I’ll be there with you the whole time. I’ll help you.”

“No.” Reddix frowned. “No, you can’t—it’ll be way too dangerous. Once Saber makes his announcement the crowd is going to get ugly—they’ll be calling for blood.”

“Let them—I’m not afraid.” Nina lifted her chin. “I know Lissa is going to be there.”

“That’s between her and Saber,” Reddix growled. “I don’t know why he’s letting her be there, but I sure as hell don’t intend to let you risk yourself for me like that.”

“It doesn’t have to be a risk,” she argued. “Didn’t you say there would be an escape plan and a ship waiting in case things got out of hand?”

“There will be,” Reddix said. “Mostly because I insisted on it. But I want you waiting inside the ship—ready to take off if the crowd goes against us. Tarsians aren’t known for their tolerance.”

“And Earthlings aren’t known for their weakness.” Nina frowned. “I will be there.”

Reddix opened his mouth to contradict her and then shut it and shook his head. The truth was, he needed her. Facing the emotional output of an angry crowd would be worse than his encounters with the children of the Feeling People as Nina had called them. So many intense feelings might knock him out or even kill him.

But it wasn’t just as a shield from emotion that he needed Nina. I want her by my side, he thought longingly. Always by my side. Still, he didn’t want to risk her.

“I don’t like it,” he growled at last. “It’s dangerous for you. And it’s not a good move politically, either. Think about it, the clans don’t want to hear that their future OverChief is committing what they consider incest and that the second who’s set to take his place is in love with an outsider they’ll never accept.”

“In love?” Nina’s eyes flew wide, and Reddix cursed himself for saying too much.

“Damn it, I didn’t mean…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said lamely.

“That’s okay.” She looked away for a moment, her cheeks getting pink. “And I’m sorry if it doesn’t look good for me to be by your side, but I still need to be able to touch you during the gathering. What if I stood right behind you with one foot out the door, ready to run if thing go bad? I mean, you’re really big and tall—who would even know?”

Reddix considered. “That sounds reasonable,” he said at last. “But I still don’t understand why you’re so intent on risking yourself for me.”

“Maybe…maybe because I feel the same way you do,” Nina murmured, taking a step toward him. “Maybe because I care.”

Reddix’s shaft was painfully hard, and he had to curl his hands into fists to keep from reaching for her. Goddess, she was beautiful! He wanted her so badly it was like a physical ache that consumed him.

“You’ve already done so much for me,” he said hoarsely. “And I don’t deserve any of it. I don’t…don’t know how I can repay you.” He took a step toward her, wishing he could take her in his arms.

“There’s no charge,” Nina said quietly. “Unless…”

“Unless what?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Well, there’s an old Seminole tradition—it’s almost forgotten now, but Mehoo-Jimmy told me about it. When someone gives you something or does something for you that you can’t possibly repay, you give them a token of affection in return. Kind of…acknowledging what they did for you and how much it meant.”

“A token of affection?” Reddix asked, taking another step toward her. “Like what, exactly?”

“Oh, you know…” Nina’s cheeks got pink again, and she looked down, as though she couldn’t meet his eyes. “A hug or maybe…maybe a kiss.”

He couldn’t stay away anymore. He closed the distance between them and took Nina in his arms. She flowed to him naturally, eagerly, winding her arms around his neck and pressing her body against his as though she didn’t want even the tiniest bit of space between them.

Reddix felt the same way. He kissed her fiercely—hungrily—as though he could claim her as his own by simply tasting her lips. But that wasn’t all he longed to taste tonight.

* * * * *

Nina’s heart was thumping so loudly she was sure Reddix could hear it—it seemed to shake her whole body. His arms felt so good around her—so right. And she loved the feel of his big, hard body pressed against hers. His mouth was tender but demanding at the same time, and he pulled her against him as though he never wanted to let her go.

The feeling was completely mutual. Nina threaded her fingers through his hair and gave what he was asking for freely. Somewhere inside she could hear a little voice whispering that she shouldn’t do this—that it would end badly. But she didn’t want to listen. Didn’t want to do anything but give herself completely to the intense sensation of the big Kindred’s body surrounding hers as he kissed her senseless.

But just as she was about to melt completely, Reddix pulled away.

“No,” he growled. “We shouldn’t. I shouldn’t. There’s still a lot you don’t know about me. Limitations…obligations…”

“I know enough,” Nina said quietly. “I know you feel that you have to take Saber’s place if the clans reject him and Lissa as their next leaders. I know you can’t have an outsider as a wife because your people wouldn’t stand for it.”

Reddix nodded. “That’s true. But there are other reasons too.”

Nina put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. “All I know is that we have tonight. And it may… may be the last night we’ll have together. Ever.”

It was hard to get the words out, but she had to acknowledge they were true. This might be her last chance to show Reddix how much she cared for him. And though she knew it would hurt to give herself completely, she thought it would hurt more to pass on this last chance and regret it afterward.

“Sweetheart…” he began.

“I want to spend this last night with you,” Nina said softly. “I don’t want to look back on it years later and wish I’d done more, given more. I want…want to show you how I feel about you. How much I…” But she couldn’t quite say how much I love you. It was still too frightening, going too far. “I want to show you how much I care,” she ended instead.

“Then let me taste you.” Reddix cupped her cheek, tilting her face up toward him. “Please, Nina,” he murmured. “I need to get closer to you, need to taste you.”

“I…I…” Nina could feel her cheeks getting hot. Despite his repeated requests that she let him in this way, she had denied him over and over. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him—more like she didn’t trust herself not to freeze and get so uncomfortable she couldn’t go on in that situation. “I just feel…so self-conscious during…that,” she said at last. “I don’t know if I could relax enough to make it, uh, worth your while.”

“Let me try to relax you,” he rumbled, stroking her cheek. “Give me a chance, at least.”

She looked at him uncertainly. “You really want to do this, don’t you?”

“I need to do it,” he growled. “Need to part your sweet pussy lips and lick and suck your hot little cunt until you come for me. Need to go down on you and hear you call my name when you lose control.”

Nina bit her lip. She’d been turned on before, but Reddix’s hot, dirty words and the lust blazing in his silver eyes seemed to send her body into overdrive. She could feel her nipples peaking under the thin silky material of her gown and between her legs she suddenly felt swollen and hot.

“Is this… some kind of a Kindred thing?” she asked at last. “You, uh, need to do this with your women?”

“It’s not really a need—more like a hunger.” He stroked her cheek again, his eyes half-hooded with desire. “I’ve heard other males talk about it, but I never really felt it myself before I met you. I’m hungry for you, Nina—fucking starving to death. Let me do this—let me taste you.”

Nina was getting hotter by the minute, but still, she tried to resist.

“We could do it the other way,” she offered. “I could…could go down on you. I like that.”

“And I like it too—love the feel of your soft lips wrapped around my cock. But that isn’t going to help,” Reddix insisted. “You don’t understand, sweetheart—I need to be on my knees in front of you with my head buried between your legs, spreading your pussy with my tongue.”

“Oh…” Nina tried, but she couldn’t think of any more excuses. “All…all right,” she whispered at last. “As long as you take it slow.”

“We can take it slow,” he promised, his deep voice a soft growl. “Incredibly slow. But first I want to take you to the bed.”

Leaning down, he swung Nina into his arms and carried her over to the broad bed covered in a dark blue spread. Lowering her down onto it, he settled beside her and placed one large, warm hand on her stomach.

“What…what are you doing?” Nina asked breathlessly.

“Nothing yet. Just letting you get used to the idea. Don’t worry, we’ll take it slow. By the time I’m ready to taste you, you’ll be begging me to do it.”

“Don’t count on it.” Nina crossed her arms over her chest, but he only grinned at her.

“Oh, you will. But first we have to get you all warmed it.” His hand began moving, sliding up and down the smooth, silky material of her dress, making Nina’s breath come faster and faster.

Before she knew it, he was stroking lightly over her breasts—cupping them through the thin silk of her dress and pinching her nipples lightly until she moaned and pressed her breasts up into his hand for more.

“So beautiful,” he murmured, bending down to kiss her cheek. “And so responsive. Does it make you hot, sweetheart, when I pinch your nipples like this? Is your pussy getting wet for me?”

“Maybe,” she whispered.

Reddix gave her a lazy smile. “We’ll find out soon. But I’m not done up here yet.”

Leaning over her, he tugged gently on the top of her dress until it came down, pooling around her waist in a silky bundle. Nina bit her lips as her breasts were freed. He’d seen them before, of course, but somehow she felt more naked this time—more vulnerable. Maybe because she knew what all this was leading up to.

“Such beautiful breasts,” Reddix breathed. Leaning down, he sucked one of her nipples deep into his hot mouth. Nina gasped and pressed up to him, feeling the sparks of desire shoot through her body as he lapped and nipped her tender bud.

She pressed her legs together tightly. It felt like there was some kind of a highway running straight from her sensitive nipples to her pussy. Every time Reddix sucked or licked her tight little nubs, it sent a rush of heat down to her core. Already she could feel herself getting even hotter and wetter. The dark blue lace panties that went with the dress were going to be soaked with her juices if Reddix didn’t stop soon—it was so embarrassing! And yet, she didn’t want it to end.

He was pulling her dress lower now, over her hips and down her thighs. At first Nina wasn’t sure she wanted to let him, but his mouth on her breasts was giving her so much pleasure she found herself unable to say no.

The minute Reddix got the dress all the way off, leaving her with nothing but the thin lace panties, she began to get nervous. She could massage people all day long and help them to relax, but it just wasn’t in her nature to relax in an intimate situation herself. She felt uncertain and self-conscious about her behind and thighs, wishing they were smaller, wishing she was thinner, prettier…

“Relax, sweetheart,” Reddix murmured, obviously sensing her tension. “Not gonna taste you yet. Going to take things slow, remember?”

“I guess…” Nina pressed her thighs tightly together, afraid he would ask her to open for him. Instead, Reddix gathered her into his arms as he had during their first encounter and held her tight.

“You’re so perfect,” he murmured, one large hand sliding down the curve of her hip and cupping her ass. “You’re everything I ever dreamed of, everything I ever wished for. I feel so damn lucky to have you in my arms right now.”

“Oh, Reddix…” Nina cuddled a little closer to him, burying her face in his hard, warm chest.

“I want to taste you so much,” he murmured, his hand sliding down and around until his long fingers were between her thighs. “But first I want to touch you again. Can I do that, Nina? Can I touch you?”

“Of course you can.” She felt a little more comfortable with this request. After all, he’d touched her several times while they were “feeding” the Hurkon collar.

Reddix growled softly in approval at her answer.

“Good. Then spread your legs for me, sweetheart. Open up and let me in.”

Nina did as he asked, rolling over onto her back and spreading her thighs for him. She was embarrassed to see that the blue panties were almost black they were so soaked with her juices. Reddix seemed to like it, however.

“Look at this,” he murmured, cupping her little mound over the panties. “Look how wet you are, sweetheart. And all because I’m going to taste you tonight. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you wanted this more than you want to admit.”

“No, I…no,” Nina protested, but her stomach fluttered nervously. There was no denying that despite her nervous reluctance to allow this intimacy, the idea of Reddix spreading her open and licking her in such a secret, private place had her squirming all over the bed.

“We’ll see about that,” Reddix growled. He slid down the bed until his face was level with her lacy panties.

“Wait a minute,” Nina protested. “I thought…thought we were taking it slow.”

“We are,” he promised. “I’m going to kiss you now—but with your panties on. I won’t take them off until you’re ready to let me, all right?”

Again, Nina felt her nerves somewhat soothed. She nodded. “All right,” she whispered.

“Good. Now open up a little, sweetheart. Let me in,” he commanded.

With a sigh, Nina allowed him to part her thighs and get his wide shoulders between her legs to hold her open. She could feel her pussy lips spreading beneath the lace of her panties and wondered if Reddix could tell what was happening. The material of the skimpy little garment was so thin and so soaked with her juices, she was sure it must be clinging to her, showing every bump and curve in high definition.

Sure enough, Reddix ran one blunt fingertip along her slit, right between her parted pussy lips, making her jump and gasp. Of course, the panties were still between them, keeping him from touching her bare pussy, but she could still feel the slow, gentle pressure on her clit as his fingertip slid over the swollen little bud.

“I can see how open you are under these little panties,” he growled softly, looking up at her. “Going to kiss you right here on your sweet little clit. That way you’ll get an idea how it will feel when I peel off these naughty little panties and taste you for real. Okay?”

“O…okay,” Nina whispered, biting her lip.

“First, though, I’m going to spread you just a little wider. I won’t take off the panties, but I need to slip my fingers inside them for just a minute. Can you let me do that?”

“I…I g-guess so,” Nina stuttered. Her heart was pounding like a drum, and she didn’t know if she could stand the intensity. She watched, her pulse racing, as Reddix slipped two long fingers under the sides of her panties and found her plump outer lips. Then, gently, he opened her wide, spreading her pussy under the thin lacy panties and exposing the throbbing bud of her clit lying under the clinging fabric.

“Perfect,” he murmured and then looked up at her again. “Gonna kiss you now—over the panties. All right?”

Nina nodded, too tongue-tied to speak.

Keeping his eyes on hers, he leaned forward and pressed a hot, open-mouthed kiss to her aching bud, outlined by the damp lace.

Nina moaned breathlessly as she felt his hot breath caress her. The gentle pressure of his lips moving against her was intensely erotic, as was the sight of his dark head bent low over her, as he spread her open. The kiss seemed to go on and on, but at last Reddix looked up, his silver eyes lazy with lust.

“God, sweetheart, you smell so good—so sweet. And your little slit looks so hot under these silky panties. Sure would like to see a little more of you, though—maybe just the top?”

“How do you mean?” Nina asked. Though he had touched her several times, this was the first time he’d been so close to her down there. The first time he’d really looked at her.

“Just want to inch your panties down a little bit,” Reddix assured her. “Just enough to see the top of your slit. How would that be?”

“All right I guess,” Nina whispered.

He nodded and tugged at her panties, pulling the lace edging down over her mound until the top of her slit was revealed.

“Beautiful,” he murmured, admiring her. “But I bet your clit is even prettier. Want to show me that too, Nina?”

As he spoke, he reached under her panties again with one finger and stroked the area in question, tracing just the sensitive side of her throbbing button as though to illustrate his point.

Nina jumped a little and gasped as tingles of pleasure shot through her. For such a big man, he had an incredibly gentle touch, and the tender way he caressed her made her even hotter.

“Yes,” she whispered, before she could stop herself. “I guess…guess that would be okay.”

“Good.” Lowering her panties even more, he revealed her clit. Her pussy lips were still spread wide, and Nina was embarrassed to see how prominent it was, nestling in her inner folds like a pink pearl.

“Look at that,” Reddix murmured, stroking her clit again. This time Nina watched him do it since the area was now bare. She bit her lip at the erotic sight of his blunt fingertip sliding gently around and around her throbbing core. “How does that feel, sweetheart?” he murmured, looking up at her. “You like to watch me pet your pussy?”

Nina felt her cheeks getting hot, but she had to nod anyway.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, I…I like it. A lot.”

“Not as much as I’m going to like tasting you,” he rumbled. “But right now I just want to kiss you again. Just one little kiss right here, in the center of your pussy.”

Nina’s breath caught in her throat. He was stroking her clit again, asking if he could kiss her there.

“Just a kiss?” she asked at last.

“Just a kiss,” he promised.

“Then…okay, I guess,” she whispered.

“Good girl,” Reddix rumbled. “Such a good girl to spread your legs and let me kiss your sweet pussy, Nina.”

His words sent a new rush of desire through her, and she had to bite her lip from crying out when he lowered his head and kissed her again, this time on her bare, open cunt.

His breath was hot as he pressed his lips to her throbbing button, and he held the kiss for a long, long time. Nina bit her lip as she felt the tip of his tongue brush lightly around her, circling her clit with feather-light licks without actually touching her at the very center where she needed him the most.

“Reddix,” she complained when he finally pulled away. “You’re driving me crazy.”

He gave her that lazy grin again. “That’s the idea, sweetheart. Didn’t I tell you we’d take it slow?”

“You did, but I didn’t think it would be this slow.”

“We’re making progress,” he assured her. “Speaking of that, how about letting me see the rest of you?”

“The…the rest?”

“You know what I mean,” he growled. “I want to take off your panties and spread your pussy completely. Want to see all of you up close before I taste you. All right, Nina?”

Nina bit her lip again, but she knew there was no real choice. She was aching for him—throbbing to have more of his mouth on her. Slowly, she nodded.

“All right—take them all the way off.”

“Good girl,” he murmured again.

Taking his time, he slid the damp lace all the way down her legs and threw the lacy panties the floor. Then he put his big, warm hands on Nina’s inner thighs, spreading and caressing her at the same time.

“Such a pretty little pussy,” he murmured, running his hands up and down her thighs. “So open and wet. Look at all the sweet honey you’re making for me.” Gently he stroked over her open pussy with two fingertips and brought them away glistening with her juices.

“I…can’t help it,” Nina moaned as his fingers slid over her clit. “Can’t help getting wet when you…you touch me like that.”

“What about when I touch you like this?” He stroked over her open folds again, but this time he didn’t stop. Two thick fingers breached her entrance and slid deep into her pussy, making Nina moan again.

“God, Reddix…”

“This is how I’m going to make you come,” he murmured, looking into her eyes as his thick fingers began to pump into her. “I’m going to fuck you very deep and slow with my fingers while I lick your sweet little cunt. I’m going to suck your clit and stroke it slowly with my tongue until I feel you squeezing all around me…” His fingers continued to move.

“God…” she whispered again.

“Then, when I feel you coming, I’m going to pull my fingers out and fuck you with my tongue instead,” he murmured, his eyes blazing with lust. “Going to tonguefuck you and lap up every drop of that sweet honey you’ll make for me. Understand?”

“Yes…” Nina was beyond protesting, beyond denying him anything. She spread her legs wider, offering herself to him completely. “Yes,” she whispered again. “Please…please do it.”

* * * * *

Reddix didn’t have to be asked twice. The sweet feminine scent of her open pussy was intoxicating, and the brief taste of her honey he’d gotten earlier while kissing her clit wasn’t nearly enough. He wanted more—wanted to bury his face between her thighs and lick and suck and taste until he’d memorized her flavor, until the memory of her sweetness was burned into his soul forever.

Gods, how he needed this—needed her. He hadn’t been lying to Nina when he called his desire to taste her a hunger. She was so beautiful—so ripe and ready and open. He wanted to ravish her with his tongue, wanted to make her come harder than she ever had in her life and hear her call his name while she did it.

With a low groan, he lowered his head once more and sucked the ripe little bud of her clit between his lips.

Nina moaned and bucked her hips up, her inner channel tightening around his fingers in response to the new pleasure. Reddix’s shaft surged hard against the inner confines of his trousers, but this wasn’t about him—it was about pleasuring the woman he loved, probably for the last time. It was about giving Nina something to remember him by—something she would never forget. Pressing his fingers deeper and harder into her pussy, he redoubled his efforts on her throbbing clit.

Her flavor made him even harder than her scent. Sweet and salty, she tasted perfect—a flavor he’d been craving all his life and had finally found. Groaning low in his throat, he lapped her harder, dragging his tongue over her slippery folds, bathing his face in her sweet sex as he thrust his fingers deeply into her, urging her to make even more honey.

Her soft little fingers found their way down into his hair and shoulders, and he felt the sharp bite of her nails as she pressed her hips up, offering herself, trying to get more of his touch, his tongue.

“Reddix…oh God, Reddix!” she moaned, and he felt his cock surge again. Gods, how he loved to hear his name on her lips, loved to hear her call for him as he brought her to the edge! He licked harder, concentrating again on her tight little clit, bathing it with the tip of his tongue before sucking it between his lips and lashing the sensitive bundle of nerves mercilessly, causing her to claw at his shoulders and cry his name breathlessly once more.

She was close—incredibly close, and he knew it. Pressing forward he licked even harder, thrusting deep, urging her wordlessly to let go, to give in to the pleasure he was providing.

That’s right, sweetheart, he thought, so hot he could barely articulate the words, even to himself. Go ahead and give it up for me. Come for me—come all over my face.

Finally, he felt her inner muscles clamp down on his fingers, tightening rhythmically as she found her peak. At the same time she gasped his name and arched her back, crying for him, begging him not to stop.

Immediately, he withdrew his fingers and replaced them with his tongue. The feel of her tight channel spasming around him as he pressed deeply into her wetness made his cock surge.

“Reddix!” she wailed, bucking her hips up as though trying to pull him in deeper. Reddix was happy to oblige her. Hooking his arms around her thighs, he pressed his face between her legs, thrusting his tongue deep into her hot, wet pussy tonguefucking her, just as he had promised. Gods, he wanted her! Wanted to taste her every day for the rest of her life, wanted to never let her go.

Feeling his tongue insider her seemed to drive Nina wild. With a low moan, she started to come again. Reddix tasted fresh wetness as he rode out her orgasm, loving every minute of it, reveling in his pleasure as she shook and shuddered against him. She was so beautiful, so perfect and right. If only she could be his forever instead of just this one last night.

But even in the heat of the moment, he knew that could never be.

* * * * *

When the pleasure finally ebbed and Nina was able to relax, Reddix climbed back into bed with her and held her tight with her back to his front, as though he never wanted to let go.

“Reddix?” She tried to turn to look at him, but he wouldn’t let her.

“Just let me hold you.” His deep voice was harsh with emotion. “Let me hold you, at least for tonight.”

“What is it?” she asked gently, stroking one muscular forearm which was wrapped around her waist.

He was silent a long time, but then finally, he spoke.

“You know. You said it yourself—this is our last night. And I don’t…don’t fucking want it to be.”

“I don’t either.” She tried to turn to him again and this time he let her. The look in his eyes was one of such deep sadness Nina felt her heart twist. “Is it really so important?” she asked. “I mean, you becoming the next OverChief if your people won’t accept Saber?”

He nodded. “If the line of succession is broken, they’ll go to war. It’s happened before—nearly wiped out the entire fucking race.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Touch Kindred are hotheaded bastards.”

“Just tell me one thing, then.” Nina snuggled against him, pressing her face to his chest, breathing in that warm, masculine spice that always made her feel dizzy with desire for him. “If all that was taken care of—if you didn’t have those responsibilities hanging over your head—would we be together?”

He gave her a long look. “There’s more standing between us than you know, sweetheart. But yes, if I could be free of this place and these obligations, we’d find a way to be together.”

Nina’s heart rose into her throat. “Then…if by some miracle the clans do accept Saber and Lissa as their leaders…”

“I’ll kidnap you again and take you someplace far, far away with just the two of us,” he promised hoarsely. “I swear it.”

“Oh, Reddix…” She lifted her chin and kissed him, tasting her own secret flavor on his mouth. The words I love you rose to her lips, but she swallowed them back down. Time enough to say them if things worked out for Saber and Lissa at the gathering tomorrow night. In the meantime, she just wanted to enjoy being with him…hopefully not for the last time, after all.

Chapter Twenty-eight

A loud pounding on the bedroom door woke Reddix up. He blinked in the orangish sunlight flooding the room, wondering why he was sleeping in the guest bed. Then Nina stirred beside him. She had put back on her blue gown, but just seeing her reminded him of everything that had gone on the night before. They hadn’t made love, but Nina had insisted on sucking him—tasting him as he had tasted her—and then they had fallen asleep in each other’s arms. It had been the best and most bittersweet night of his life—knowing that she cared for him and wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her.

But even if by some miracle the clans accept Saber and Lissa, how will you make love to her properly? How can you bond her to you without a working Touch Sense? whispered a pessimistic little voice in the back of his brain.

Reddix shook his head. He would manage. If they were granted a miracle and he was freed of the onerous obligation of being the next OverChief, he would find a way to make things work with Nina. He had to.

The pounding on the bedroom door was repeated, reminding him what had woken him up in the first place. Reddix frowned, who could that be?

“Reddix?” screeched a high female voice. “I know you’re in there! I’ll give you one more chance to come out or I’m coming in.”

Beside him, Nina sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily. “What time is it? Who’s shouting?” she murmured.

Reddix was beginning to get a very bad feeling. A feeling that something he had forgotten was going to come back to bite him in the ass. Speaking of things he had forgotten, the lthss on his wrist was itching and throbbing abominably. Sometime before the gathering of the Clan leaders and people tonight he would have to go and settle his account with Xandra.

But it wasn’t the swamp witch who was pounding on his door now.

“Reddix!” shouted the shrill, familiar voice again. He opened his mouth to answer when the door suddenly popped open, and Tilla appeared in the doorway with Lissa right behind her.

“I’m sorry,” Lissa apologized. “I tried to keep her out. She just barged right past me.”

“I have a right to enter my betrothed’s house if I want to.” Tilla crossed her arms over her chest, her many blue and green vivium bangles clashing against each other. “And what do I find when I get here? Another female in his bed.” She glared at Nina who stared blankly back at her and then turned to Reddix.

“Reddix, who is this person?” she asked in a low, dangerous voice.

He opened his mouth to answer but again Tilla spoke before he could.

“I am his fiancée—the one his parents picked for him. The one he is promised to join with as soon as he ascends as OverChief. And who exactly are you?”

Nina didn’t answer her. Instead, she looked at Reddix again.

“Is this true?”

“I…yes,” he said heavily. “But I never—”

“Don’t say you never agreed to our arrangement because you did. You know you did,” Tilla accused shrilly.

“I did,” Reddix acknowledged. “But things have changed. I’m with Nina now.”

“Oh, no you’re not.” Nina moved away from him and suddenly Tilla’s anger and betrayal poured over his head like a box of hot coals.

“Damn it!” Reddix jumped out of bed and turned to Nina. “I’m with you now, sweetheart. I swear I am!”

“It doesn’t sound like you bothered to inform her of that.” Nina had gotten out of bed too and her arms were crossed over her chest. Even though Reddix couldn’t feel her emotions, her eyes were cold. Ice cold.

“He most certainly didn’t,” Tilla said, putting her hands on her hips. “I didn’t even know he was back from the Mother Ship until I heard from some people this morning who said they saw him going into his house last night with a strange alien female. A strange alien female with an extremely large ass.” She cocked one skinny hip as though showing off her own boney, narrow behind and glared at Nina.

“Now, just a minute.” Nina held up a hand. “I’m sorry Reddix cheated on you, but I didn’t know anything about you until just now so there’s no need to get nasty.”

“I didn’t cheat on her,” Reddix roared, losing patience. “I’ve never been with her—never even kissed her, I swear.”

“That’s right.” Tilla scowled at him. “You told me you couldn’t kiss me—even to seal our joining agreement—because of your RTS. So how is it that I find you in bed with another female kissing and touching her?”

“That would be because she doesn’t make my skin crawl like you do,” Reddix growled. “Because I don’t have to feel every single petty emotion every moment I’m with her.”

“I…you…” Tilla seemed to be at a loss for words.

Reddix turned to Lissa and Saber, who was now standing outside the door as well.

“Could the two of you please get her out of here so I can explain things to Nina?” he asked.

“Certainly.” Saber nodded at Lissa who put a hand on Tilla’s boney shoulder.

“All right now,” she said soothingly. “Let’s give them a little time alone, and then I’m sure Reddix will come talk to you.”

“He’d better.” Tilla shrugged off Lissa’s hand angrily and stalked out of the room. But before leaving, she turned to face him again. “You won’t get out of our agreement that easily, Reddix. You promised before my parents and yours to join with me as soon as you become OverChief. I will not be cheated of my due!”

Her anger lashed out at him like a tongue of flame branding his cheek—as effective as any slap—and then she left, slamming the door behind her.

* * * * *

Nina glared at Reddix as he slowly turned back to face her. The bed was between them, but there was obviously a whole lot more dividing them.

“Explain,” she said tightly. “But first, let me tell you something. I will and have put up with a lot. You kidnapped me, dragged me through a wormhole, stranded me on a strange alien planet where everyone had three eyes and tentacles, and there was nothing but purple mush to eat—okay, I could deal with all that. But this…this is a deal breaker. To find out you already have a fiancée and you’ve been lying to me this whole time? Uh-uh.” She shook her head. “No, no, and hell no. There are some things I will not tolerate.”

“Nina…sweetheart…” Reddix shook his head, as though trying to think how to begin. “I know this looks bad—fucking terrible, in fact.”

“You’re damn right it looks bad.” Nina still had her arms crossed over her chest protectively. Had Reddix been lying to her this entire time? Had he been playing her for a fool? “We talked and talked on the planet of the Feeling People,” she went on, trying to keep her voice from cracking. “I really felt like…like I got to know you. To care about you. Why didn’t you tell me about her? About…?”

“Tilla. Her name is Tilla,” he said heavily, sinking down onto the side of the bed. “And the reason I didn’t tell you about her was, well, I guess because I was trying so hard not to think of her. She’s part of this whole mess—she’s my fate if I have to stay here and rule as OverChief.”

“So you are engaged to her?” Nina demanded.

Reddix nodded. “Yes, although as she pointed out, the agreement was never sealed.”

“What does that even mean? Are you with her or not?”

“I don’t want to be, Goddess damn it!” he growled. “I never did—this was my parents’ idea. Back when Saber first let them know he was with Lissa, his parents and mine were scrambling for a solution. They knew the clans would be reluctant to have a male with RTS as their next OverChief. They needed to put me with someone who would tolerate having a cripple as a mate.”

“A cripple? You mean because of your RTS?” Nina asked.

“Among other things.” He put his head in his hands. “I can’t even stand to touch her. To fucking be near her. She turns my stomach, and I turn hers—I can feel how much she hates me every minute she’s near me.”

“Then why is she making such a big deal?” Nina demanded. “If she hates you so much?”

“Because she wants the status of being the OverChief’s female.” Reddix looked up at her. “That’s all it is to her—a business deal. A chance to lord it over all the other females on Tarsia because she’ll have more status than any of them combined once we’re joined.” He sighed and looked down at his feet. “Goddess fucking damn it,” he muttered. “This is all such a fucked up mess.”

Nina stared at him uncertainly. Was he telling the truth? Slowly she came around the bed and stood in front of him. Reddix just looked at her, making no move to touch her.

“I want to believe you,” she said at last.

“Then do,” he said hoarsely. “I swear I want nothing to do with Tilla. I let my parents and Saber’s push me into an agreement with her for the good of the clans, but I’m done with her now. It’s over. I don’t care if they like it or not. If they won’t have Saber as their OverChief, they’ll have to accept me as a single ruler.”

Nina frowned. “But the line of succession…don’t you have to uh, produce an heir?”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do about that.” He shook his head and scratched absently at the red snake marking on his wrist which seemed to have grown again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do about a lot of things—I made promises, accepted obligations—and I have no idea how I’ll fulfill them. But I do know I don’t want to spend a single minute of my life with Tilla.” He looked at Nina full in the face, holding her eyes with his own. “It’s you I want, Nina,” he said hoarsely. “And if I can’t have you, I don’t want anyone else. I swear it on my honor as a Kindred warrior. I swear it on my life.”

“Reddix…” Nina wasn’t quite sure what to say.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “So fucking sorry I didn’t say anything about Tilla. I should have. I just…never thought you could care for me after what I did. I never thought I’d even have any kind of a chance with you, and I didn’t want to think about what was waiting for me here on Tarsia.”

Nina shook her head. “I don’t even know what to believe anymore.”

“Believe that I care for you, please, sweetheart.” He took her hand in his, and Nina let him hold it though she didn’t squeeze back when his fingers closed over hers. For a long time they stared into each other’s eyes, silver clashing with blue.

Finally, Nina sighed. “If you really feel that way, you need to tell Tilla,” she said. “It’s not fair to her otherwise.”

He nodded. “You’re right.”

Nina withdrew her hand. “I’d offer to stay with you and damp her emotions, but I think that would only make things worse between the two of you.”

Reddix nodded stoically. “I owe it to her to tell her face to face with no one between us. It won’t be very fucking pleasant, but I can manage.”

“You’ll have to.” Turning, she left the room, brushing past the very angry Tilla as she did.

“There she goes—there goes the alien whore,” the Tarsian girl spat as she walked past.

Nina looked back at her. “I may be a whore in your eyes,” she said calmly. “But at least he can touch me. At least he wants to touch me. That’s more than you can say.”

Tilla grew red in the face. “None of that matters because I have the right blood. Long after you’ve returned to your backwater planet, I’ll be the one standing by his side as wife of the OverChief—you’ll see.”

“Keep telling yourself how important your blood is then,” Nina said. “And go ahead—talk to Reddix. Try to convince him he wants you when he doesn’t. Have fun with that.”

Then she turned and walked away, leaving the Tarsian girl sputtering behind her.

But her victory felt like a hollow one. Inside she was wondering what was really going on. And who would Reddix really choose?

Chapter Twenty-nine

Nina wandered outside in a daze. The fight with Tilla, Reddix’s admission that he was in fact engaged to the skinny Tarsian girl, being on yet another a strange alien planet…it was all too much. She needed to get some fresh air…to breathe…to think.

Also, though she didn’t want to admit it, she wanted to get away from the temptation to listen in on Reddix’s conversation with Tilla. She had heard low, angry voices coming from the guest bedroom where she had left him, and she was dying to know what they were saying. But she refused to eavesdrop. Reddix could do what he wanted—he was a grown man, after all. If he truly intended to follow through on his word and end things with Tilla, he could come and tell her about it himself. In the meantime, Nina was determined to put the matter out of her mind as much as she could.

Reddix had a large spherical house built out of the same shiny black Lego-looking bricks as the other Tarsian homes she had seen, but it was located on the very outskirts of town. Nina wasn’t surprised about that—of course someone with his affliction would want as much privacy as they could get. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d chosen to live in a cave like a hermit. It would have been nice to see more of the town, but actually, Nina rather liked the remote location. The forest across from his home was huge and beautiful and looked like a good place to take her mind off her problems.

The trees on Tarsia were huge with thick, squat trunks. Their shapes reminded Nina of the time she had gone to visit a friend in California and had seen the giant redwoods. But the coloring was completely different. The trees all had green bark with dark orange and yellow leaves and some of them had purple and green flowers as well. The effect was of a forest in autumn back on Earth except there was no chill in the air. Nina wondered if the leaves were these colors all the time here on Tarsia or if they changed completely during the other seasons. If they had other seasons—did they? She really knew nothing at all about this world other than the fact that it was incredibly far from her own and it was Reddix’s home world.

“I wish I had a guide,” she said, half to herself. “Someone to tell me about this place.” She couldn’t ask Lissa or Saber anything—they were too busy preparing for the gathering that night. And of course, Reddix was busy with Tilla…No, she wasn’t going to think about that. She was putting it out of her mind.

“Well now, dearie…what is it exactly you want to know?”

“Oh!” Nina turned in surprise to see an old woman standing just behind her in the forest. She had a kindly, wrinkled face and very unusual eyes—they seemed to be a bright yellow. Of course, maybe that was normal for some Tarsians, Nina had no way of knowing.

“I’m sorry, did I startle you?” The old woman gave her a kindly smile and tucked a wisp of gray hair back into the thick bun at the back of her neck. A large ring she wore on one of her fingers flashed in the sunlight as she did, blinding Nina momentarily.

“Oh, no,” she said, blinking. “I just…’

“I thought I heard you asking for a guide, and you look like a stranger here.” The woman smiled again.

“I am a stranger,” Nina confessed. “I’m…not for around here at all. I just, uh, flew in last night, and I was wishing I knew more about the local flora and fauna and customs…really just everything.” She returned the old woman’s smile. “For instance, how old are these trees? We have some like them back where I’m from, and they’re some of the oldest living things on our planet.”

The old lady nodded thoughtfully. “Well now, these trees are ancient and very beautiful, but we have something even rarer farther in, toward the center of the forest—near the swamp.”

“The swamp?” Nina’s heart began pounding for some reason. “Did you say swamp?”

“Why yes, of course. It’s a very fertile area. Some of the most beautiful flowers on all of Tarsia bloom there. Would you like me to show you?” As she spoke, she pushed another wisp of white-blonde hair out of her eyes.

Nina frowned. Hadn’t she had gray hair before? And why were her fingers so long? She tried to examine them more closely without being obvious about it, but the flashing of reddish sunlight on the pink jewel in the old woman’s ring kept getting in her eyes.

“What do you say, my dear?” The old lady smiled at her again, showing extremely white teeth.

“I…” Nina shook her head. For some reason her thoughts felt sluggish. “I guess so,” she said at last. “Only I can’t be gone too long—I have to be back for the gathering tonight.”

“But that’s hours and hours away,” the old woman said soothingly, her ring flashing again as she spoke. “Plenty of time to see the sights of the swamp.”

“I…suppose.” Nina blinked her eyes. Why did she feel so sleepy all of a sudden?

“Come.” The old woman wrapped her surprisingly long white fingers around Nina’s wrist and pulled her forward, deeper into the woods. “Let’s go see what we can find.”

* * * * *

“For the last time, I do not want to be joined to you.” Reddix crossed his arms over his chest and sighed wearily. Tilla was like an animal, reluctant to let go of a bone she wanted to chew—only in this case, he was the bone. Her stubbornness gnawed at him with blunt, grinding teeth.

“I don’t care what you want,” she said, putting a hand on her hip. “You promised—you swore I would be your bride.”

“If and only if I became the OverChief. That may not even happen now—Saber is back.”

“Right and he brought that little tzeeba-haired Lissa with him,” she scoffed. “Who ever heard of a clan leader who joined with his amalla? No one, that’s who—it’s disgusting. Face it, Reddix, you are going to be the next OverChief, and I will be there by your side when it happens.”

“You don’t want to be with me any more than I want to be with you, Tilla—you just want the status that goes with being the OverChief’s wife.”

“That’s not true,” she protested.

Reddix sighed wearily and rubbed his right wrist which wouldn’t stop itching. “You can’t lie to me about how you feel. Your loathing for me is almost as strong as mine is for you. You’d rather find a half-eaten grubba bug in your meal than touch me.”

“That’s not true, and you know it. We could have a very good joining—a very amicable partnership if you’d just be sensible. I’ll even let you…touch me when you want to. Until we finally get a child, that is.”

“You’re too fucking kind,” Reddix growled. “But what makes you think I want to touch you any more now than I did before? I’d rather put my hand in an open flame than make love to you, Tilla. At least with fire the pain is clean.”

Tilla’s face went from red to white. “How dare you insult me this way?”

“I’m not trying to be insulting—well, not much,” he amended. “Just trying to get my point across. I don’t want you. And if you’d just admit it, you don’t want me either.”

Suddenly, the itching in his wrist intensified until it was a sharp pain he could no longer ignore. Doubtless the swamp witch was calling him, reminding him of his obligation.

“Reddix,” Tilla said, but he ignored her.

“All right, witch,” he muttered, looking down at the blood red lthss on his right wrist. “I’ll be there to deal with you soo…” The words died on his lips as he saw what had happened to the tiny creature Xandra had imbedded in his skin.

Reddix had expected the thing to have grown again—that it would have completely encircled his wrist by now. Instead, it was…shrinking. Already it was half as big as it had been. What the hell was going on?

“How dare you call me a witch?” Tilla’s shrill, demanding voice pierced through his contemplation. “And look at me when I’m talking to you, Goddess damn it!”

“It wasn’t you I was talking to.” Reddix kept studying the lthss. It was shrinking even as he watched, growing smaller and thinner every moment that passed. There was no way it should be doing that until he had fulfilled his obligation to Xandra, which he most certainly hadn’t. No way she would ever free him of his debt…unless someone else was paying it.

Reddix felt his heart clench in his fist. “Nina,” he muttered. “Gods, no…what did you do?” Pushing past Tilla, he bolted for the door. He had to get to her before the witch did something awful to her.

Before it was too late.

Chapter Thirty

Nina blinked as the old woman led her into a gloomy little hut in the middle of the vast swamp. She felt she’d been walking for hours, but it couldn’t have been that long—could it? Looking down at herself she saw that her shoes— the little blue slippers Lissa had loaned her that went with her gown—were soaked with stagnant water and stained with purple mud. The bottom of her gown was in a similar state. Why had she agreed to let the old woman take her through such a messy, hot, unpleasant area? It reminded Nina of the Everglades back home—that miserable area of swampland past the vast urban sprawl of Miami that was crawling with snakes and gators.

“Well, well, dearie—let’s just get you comfortable, shall we?” the old woman said. Taking Nina by the upper arm, she bustled her over to a three legged stool right beside a large, bubbling caldron.

Nina wanted to protest that it was too hot to sit by a fire and a huge boiling pot, but to her surprise, the pot wasn’t hot at all but cold. In fact, it was so cold she felt like she was sitting right next to an AC unit blowing full blast. Inside of a minute she was shivering.

But it wasn’t just the weird variance in temperature that bothered her. The smell coming out of the thin, bluish broth in the pot was perfectly indescribable. It both disgusted Nina and made her hungrier than she’d ever been in her life. Her mouth watered even as her stomach rolled—what was going on? She wrapped her arms around herself and moved away from the pot. She wanted to get up and get away from it altogether, but she suddenly felt weak…like she couldn’t even get off the stool. What was wrong with her?

“Now, then,” the old woman said facing her…only she wasn’t old anymore. Her gray hair was completely white-blonde now, and all of the wrinkles in her ancient face had been magically been smoothed away. Her pale yellow eyes were large and luminous and wrong somehow. It took Nina a moment to realize that her pupils weren’t round but vertical, like a cat’s.

“What are you?” she breathed, shrinking back from the strange woman. “Why did you bring me here?”

“Come now, dearie.” The woman’s yellow eyes flashed. “We’re in the middle of the swamp, and I’m sure Reddix told you of the little deal he made with me. Therefore it’s logical to assume that I must be…”

“The swamp witch!” Nina tried to make a run for it, but once again, something seemed to be sapping her strength. She barely got off the stool before she sank to the ground, panting like she’d just run a marathon instead of taking two steps.

“Now, now, none of that.” The swamp witch wrapped extremely long white fingers around her arm—this time Nina was able to see that each finger had an extra joint—and placed her effortlessly back on the three legged stool. “Yes, I am the swamp witch, but no, I am not going to kill you. Although I will require some of your blood.”

“Reddix said you needed my blood,” Nina said in a voice that trembled more than she liked. “But…he didn’t say how much of it you needed.”

“Because I didn’t tell him, my dear.” The witch smiled, the vertical pupils of her eyes narrowing greedily. “But I can tell you it’s a lot. I need a lot.”

Nina forced herself to stop trembling and lifted her chin. “And are you really going to use it to cure him of his RST?” she demanded.

The witch smiled. “Among other things.”

“Then take it.” Nina thrust out an arm. “Go on—I want you to.”

“Well, well…” The witch’s white-blonde eyebrows rose high above her strange cat’s eyes. “A willing victim…I mean donor. How strange.”

“It’s not strange. I care for him. I…I guess I love him.” Nina frowned, wondering why she was admitting such things to the witch. Were the fumes from the bubbling pot affecting her somehow? Acting like a truth serum?

“Love him, do you?” The witch’s slitted yellow eyes flashed gold for a moment. “Well then, this should be even more interesting than I thought.” She reached into the loose sleeve of her flowing black robe and pulled out a long, curving knife. “I’m glad you’re so willing to give of yourself, my dear. It will make the potion much more effective.”

Nina bit her lip as she watched the dim light from the fire glimmer along the silver blade. “Are you at least going to use some antiseptic?” she blurted. “I mean, do you have Betadine here? Or maybe even just some rubbing alcohol?”

“Your fears are groundless. This blade spreads no contagion although it gives much pain.” The witch nodded at her arm. “Hold your wrist over the pot. Your blood must season my potion to bring it to full effectiveness.”

“Fine.” Nina gritted her teeth and did as she was told. Holding her arm over the strangely cold pot was like sticking it into a vat of ice water, but she forced herself to hold still as the silver blade came closer and closer. It’ll be fine, she told herself. It’s probably just like a shot…it will only hurt for a minute…

And then the wickedly curved knife bit into the flesh of her wrist, and she started to scream…

* * * * *

“Nina? Nina!” Reddix roared as her screams echoed through the fetid swamp. It seemed like he had been searching for her for hours, slogging through the mud and algae, but he couldn’t find the witch’s hut. He thought of the old saying his people had, When you seek that which you cannot find, time bends around corners. It certainly seemed like that now—especially when he could hear Nina screaming in agony and couldn’t find her.

“Nina!” he shouted again desperately. “I’m coming, sweetheart, I swear it!”

“Reddix?” Her voice sounded faint and far away. He looked around in frustration. He was in the middle of the swamp, wasn’t he? Shouldn’t the witch’s hut be here, someplace? Where was it? Where was Nina?

“Keep talking,” he yelled, pushing his way through a tangle of yellow vines that had grown between the trees. “Keep talking so I can follow the sound of your voice.”

But his only answer was silence.

Nina’s voice was gone.

* * * * *

“I gave you my blood—you have to let me go to him.” Nina pressed the pale yellow cloth the witch had given her to the cut on her wrist. It still hurt, and it didn’t seem to want to stop bleeding, but the wound wasn’t nearly as bad as the cold fire of the silver blade slitting her flesh. That had been horrible—the worst pain she’d ever felt. “You have to let me go,” she said again. “I could hear Reddix shouting for me. He sounded frantic.”

“Most likely because he loves you too. So much the better.” The witch’s eyes gleamed. “Never fear, my dear—he will find you… in good time.” She gave Nina a cold smile which didn’t reach her slitted eyes. “But first, don’t you want to know the good your blood will do? Not only for your beloved Reddix, but for other, poor deserving souls who are lost in the universe?”

“I…suppose,” Nina said doubtfully. “I never thought—”

“No, you never thought beyond Reddix, did you?” the witch snapped. “But there are others who will benefit from my spell. Others you will set free with your oh-so-generous sacrifice once your lover drinks the potion, as he must. Look into my cauldron and see.”

Unwillingly, Nina leaned over the freezing cold cauldron and stared into the broth which was now a pale purple. As she watched, the boiling liquid became perfectly still, like the surface of a mirror. After another moment, a picture began to form.

To her surprise, the first thing Nina saw was the witch—but not as she was now. The witch in the cauldron seemed younger somehow. And she held in her arms a tiny adorable baby with eyes such a pale, piercing blue they were almost white. A thick shock of curly black hair topped the baby’s round little head.

“Aww,” Nina couldn’t help murmuring. “Look how cute and chubby…”

“That is my son, Therron.” The witch sounded proud. “The image of his father—both his fathers.”

Nina looked at her uncertainly. “Both his fathers? But how…?”

“Look.” The witch directed her gaze back to the cauldron. In it, Nina saw the baby begin to cry. As he did, his pale blue eyes turned blazing red, and a sudden darkness filled the room.

The witch in the cauldron looked around fearfully and then back at the baby in her arms. The little boy had begun to wail and struggle as the darkness in the room grew. The witch tried to hush her child frantically.

“No, little one—no Therron,” she whispered, rocking him. “You’ll call to him. You’ll bring him to us. Hush, my darling…hush.”

Suddenly, the darkness filled the room completely, and there was a terrified scream. Then the cauldron went blank.

“What was that, and why did you show it to me?” Nina demanded, looking at the witch.

“That was when Therron was taken from me.” The witch looked down at her long white hands.

“But what did you mean when you said he had two fathers?”

“Exactly what I said. You see, before I lived out here in my lovely hovel, I had a place in the town. In fact, I came from some of the best blood. All the young men wanted to bond with me.” The witch smiled, as though remembering. “But what none of them knew was that I had a secret—a power no female should possess. I have a Touch Sense, you see, just like a male of my kind.”

“Um…okay,” Nina said doubtfully.

“What? Reddix never told you about the Touch Sense all the males of our kind possess?”

“Well, he told about his RTS…”

“No wonder he didn’t speak of the Touch Sense, since his doesn’t work.” The witch laughed nastily. “Never mind then, just know that it was considered wrong and abhorrent for a female to possess such a power. I dared tell no one—except the male I loved and chose to give myself to.”

“And who was that?” Nina asked in bewilderment.

“That would be Redan, second in command of the Clans of the Touch Kindred.”

“But if he’s second in command, doesn’t that make him…”

“Reddix’s father. And he is father to my son as well. Therron is Reddix’s brother—well, his half-brother, anyway.”

“But does he know? Does anyone know you had his child?” Nina asked, fascinated despite herself.

The witch shook her head. “When I revealed my power to Redan, thinking he would love me enough to keep my secret, he cast me out instead. So I never told him of our child. And I’ve been living in this charming swamp ever since.” She smiled angrily.

“But…” Nina shook her head. “I still don’t understand how Therron could have two fathers. Unless you, uh married…er bonded again?”

“After my Touch Sense was revealed, no man of any clan would have me.” The witch lifted her chin proudly. “I had to make my own way. After my exile I determined to do whatever I could to get revenge. But other than my Touch Sense, I was powerless. In order to gather power—to gain my magic—I had to make a rather unpleasant bargain with a Shade.”

“I’m sorry—a what?” Nina shook her head—this was getting weirder and weirder.

“A creature of darkness—a demon which lives in the cold emptiness of space. I had to lie with this creature—to open myself to him in order to receive his power.” She shivered. “But the encounter…changed the child within me. Even as a baby Therron began to show traits no normal Touch Kindred baby should. And when my demon lover learned of this, he took the child from me. He took…took my son.” She looked so stricken as she said this that Nina felt sorry for her.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

“Don’t be. After years of searching, I have found him—look once more.”

Nina peered into the cauldron again. At first all he could make out was darkness—a dark room with only one small light at the far corner. Then the picture became clearer, and she saw a stone wall with the statue of a man in chains in front of it. The statue was huge—larger than life—and the artist had depicted each massive muscle in loving detail. Nina would have almost thought it was alive except that it didn’t move, and it was as gray and dusty as the wall behind it.

At the statue’s feet flowed a tiny, clear stream of crystalline water. Nina could hear the tinkling sound of the water clearly in the magic cauldron mirror. She leaned closer, heedless of the frigid air drifting up from the cauldron…and that was when the statue opened his eyes. Pale blue with the same cat’s eye slit as the witch, they seemed to stare right through her.

Nina gave a surprised shriek and nearly toppled off the stool. Only the witch’s long-fingered hand saved her from falling.

“Watch.” Her voice was severe. “See him. See his torment.”

“Is that your son?” Nina leaned close again. The man she’d thought was a statue was huge—even bigger than Reddix—and he was securely chained to the stone wall with his arms behind his back. He had a strange contraption on his neck too—a little bit like the Hurkon collar. It was dusty black and high, covering most of his strong throat and forcing his chin up into an agonizingly stiff position.

“Yes, that is Therron.” There was real pain in the witch’s voice now. “But he does not know that—he doesn’t even know his own name. The name I gave him.”

“Why is he chained like that?” Nina asked. “And why is he covered in that grayish dust? I thought he was a statue.”

“The dust is powdered verium—it leeches all moisture from the body and induces thirst. A thirst so desperate some say it can cause madness.” The witch’s eyes flashed angrily. “They chain him by the stream to torment him, but they never let him drink.”

“That’s…terrible,” Nina whispered. “But who would do such a thing? Who has him?

The witch sighed. “As to that, I do not know. But I do know that the time of his freedom is near.” Her yellow pupils rolled up, leaving only the whites of her eyes visible, and she began to chant in a slow, sonorous voice that didn’t sound like her own.

“Dark and Light

Wrong and Right

When one finds Peace

The other may Fight

Day and Night

Growth and Blight

One in Love

The other in Flight

Tied together

Fate to fate

Strangers, brothers

Mate to mate

Prisoners they no longer be

When one is healed

The other is free.”

“What…what does that even mean?” Nina sat back, frightened of the witch’s strange new voice. It reminded her of how possessed people always sounded in horror movies. For the first time she began to wonder if maybe the woman was mentally disturbed.

The witch blinked, her eyes returning to normal. “It means the time of Therron’s freedom is almost near. And your darling Reddix is going to bring it about—whether he knows it or not.”

“What do you mean?” Nina asked. “How could he possibly—?”

“Nina? Are you all right?” The new, familiar voice made Nina’s head whip around. There, standing in the doorway of the small cottage, was Reddix.

“Reddix!” She wanted to jump off the stool to run to him, but the sudden weakness overcame her again, and she could barely lift her hand. “Reddix,” she whispered again.

“Are you hurt? Did she hurt you?” He came striding over, but the witch was suddenly between them.

“She’s perfectly fine, warrior.”

“I heard her screaming! Stand aside and let me go to her.” Reddix’s deep voice was filled with menace.

“Very well.” The witch stepped aside and let him pass.

As soon as he put his arms around her, Nina felt as though a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She sighed in relief and pressed her head to his chest.

“You found me,” she breathed. “How did you know where to look?”

“Because of this.” He showed her the inside of his right wrist where the snake-like tattoo had shrunk down to a tiny dot.

“I’ll take that if you please. It has served its purpose well.” The swamp witch held out one long white hand, and the tiny red snake-shaped speck jumped from Reddix’s wrist into her palm. “Excellent.” She looked pleased.

“Come on.” Reddix pulled Nina off the stool, supporting her almost completely since she was still so weak. “We’re leaving now.”

“Truly? Leaving without your cure? The cure your beloved paid for with her pain and blood?” The witch raised an eyebrow at Reddix.

“I want nothing more from you,” he said shortly. “Except that you stay far away from me and mine.”

“Very well.” The witch shrugged and stepped aside again. Reddix swung Nina into his arms and was about to leave the hut when she added, “But if you ever want her to stop bleeding, you’ll have to take the cure.”

“What?” He turned, frowning, and Nina looked down at her wrist. The yellow cloth the witch had wrapped around her wound was spotted with blood. As she watched, the bloody splotches grew, and she felt even weaker.

“Reddix,” she whispered. “Something…something’s wrong.”

Reddix glared at the witch. “What in the Seven Hells have you done to her, Xandra?”

“It’s not what I’ve done—it’s what you’re doing, my dear Reddix.” The witch gave him an evil grin. “You see, I started the circle by adding your darling Nina’s blood to my curative potion.” She gestured at the pale purple liquid in the pot, which was now bubbling again as though it had never served time as a magic mirror. “You must complete the circle by drinking some of the potion—only by consuming the blood she sacrificed for you can you staunch the flow of her wound.”

“That’s sick,” Reddix protested. “I don’t want to drink her blood.”

The witch shrugged. “I’m afraid it’s the nature of sacrificial magic. A sacrifice, once offered, must be accepted or the one who makes the sacrifice dies. Or in this case, slowly bleeds to death.”

“Fine.” Reddix put Nina down carefully, still supporting her with one arm. “Give me the potion. I’ll drink it.”

“As you wish.” The witch picked up a carved wooden mug and dipped it into the contents of the cauldron. She brought it out, brimming with pale purple liquid, and handed it to Reddix. “Drink, warrior. Drink for freedom and an end to pain. Drink to save your female’s life and set free one whose life is linked to yours.”

Nina began to have a worried feeling. Was the witch only talking about her? Or was she making some veiled reference to the strange man in chains she’d showed Nina in the cauldron—the one she’d claimed was her son. Who had chained him up in the first place? And what would happen if he ever got free?

“Reddix,” she began. “I don’t think—”

But Reddix was already downing the contents of the mug. His Adam’s apple worked as he swallowed it all in three long gulps. Then he finished and thrust the mug back at the witch.

“Here. I’m done with you now.”

“Very well.” The witch nodded.

“Is he cured now?” Nina asked. “Of his RTS, I mean?”

“As much as it was possible to cure him. I could not give him a normal Touch Sense or enable him to give a female the Deep Touch, but the emotions of others will be muted to him now—no more bothersome than a few pesky flies buzzing around his head.”

“The Deep Touch? What’s that?” Nina asked.

“Never mind my dear. It’s nothing that will ever concern you.” The witch was smiling now—an expression so gleeful it made Nina feel even more uneasy. What was she so happy about? Surely she wouldn’t get this much joy out of just curing Reddix of his RTS. Would she?

“And what about the other—the man you showed me in your cauldron?” she asked. “Is he—”

“Therron is beyond my reach—but not beyond hers,” the witch said mysteriously. “There is one coming soon—one of your own kind, in fact—who will free him of his chains. She will—”

“Ahh!” The hoarse shout came from Reddix, who had fallen to the ground on his knees. He was clutching the sides of his head and staring blindly at the floor as he shook in pain. “Ah, Gods—my eyes! The pain. The pain,” he groaned.

Nina looked wildly at the witch. “What did you do to him? Help him!”

“Oh, didn’t I mention?” The witch smiled nastily. “The potion is effective in curing RTS, but there are a few…side effects.”

Chapter Thirty-one

Reddix fell to the ground, bright lights flashing behind his eyes and searing pains stabbing through his skull. The sudden, blinding pain was as bad or worse than anything he had experienced with the Hurkon collar, and it wouldn’t stop—it went on and fucking on.

Dimly he heard Nina demanding that the witch help him, but Xandra only said something about side effects and that the pain had to run its course. He wanted to ask how long it would take—how much more he would have to endure—it felt like someone was driving silver spikes through his eyes and straight into his brain. But then, as suddenly as it had come, the pain was gone.

Reddix blinked his eyes and started to get up—until he realized he couldn’t see anything at all. Everything was completely black. And then the witch started speaking again—but this time he didn’t hear her with his ears. This time he heard her with his mind.

“Listen to me Reddix, son of Redan,” she whispered in his mind. “The time has come for us to part ways, but you have served your purpose well. In return, I will show you something few are privileged to see—a glimpse of your future.”

Reddix opened his mouth, wanting to protest that he didn’t want anything else from her, that he didn’t want to see his future. But then the blackness that covered his eyes cleared, and the vision unfolded before him…

“Reddix, did you bring the milk I asked you to get?” Nina stood just inside the door of their suite on the Mother Ship.

“Milk?” he asked coming in and giving her a peck on the cheek. “You mean the white liquid you squeeze from animals on your home planet?”

She sighed in exasperation. “Yes, pretty much. I’m all out of it, and I wanted some for my coffee. I asked Lissa to ask Saber through their link to tell you. Didn’t he?”

“He must have forgotten.” Reddix sighed and started to head for the door. “I’m sorry—I’ll go get some now.”

“No…forget it.” Nina put a hand on his arm. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get some later.”

“I don’t mind,” Reddix protested. “I know you miss Earth. I want you to have things that remind you of home. Things that make you happy.”

“I am happy.” She gave him a small troubled smile. “It’s just that…”

“Just that what?” Reddix asked.

Nina shook her head and moved away from him. “Just…I wish we had a mental connection like Lissa and Saber and Kat and Lock and Deep…and pretty much all the other Kindred and their wives. It would make things so much more convenient. And…I’d feel so much closer to you.”

Pain stabbed through him and shame too—shame that he couldn’t give her what she wanted. What she needed. What any normal male would have been able to give.

“We’ve been over this,” he growled. “I told you before we got joined that I would never be able to really bond you to me. You said it didn’t matter.”

Nina frowned. “But it does matter, Reddix! I just want what every other woman on this ship has. I just want to feel close to you.”

“We can feel close,” he murmured, coming to take her in his arms. “Very, fucking close, sweetheart.”

Nina kissed him willingly, her soft, curvy body tight against his. Reddix enjoyed tasting her mouth as she moaned softly and pressed against him. When they finally came up for air, he tried to lead her to the bedroom.

“Wait…” She put a hand on his shoulder. “Reddix, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what exactly does the Deep Touch mean? And what does it feel like? You’ll never talk about it to me, but I’ve heard things…”

A second lance of pain and shame pierced his heart. “The Deep Touch?”

“Well…yes. Lissa was talking about it, and she said it’s amazing. I just wondered…”

“It has nothing to do with you. With either of us,” Reddix said shortly, pulling away. “Forget about it. I’ll never be able to give it to you.”

“But I thought…thought maybe just trying it might draw us together,” Nina protested.

“Don’t you understand?” he roared. “I have an inverted Touch Sense! I can’t give you that—I’ll never be able to give you that.”

Nina recoiled from him, her eyes bright with tears.

“I’m sorry. I never should have said…I just wanted…”

“Wanted what?” he growled impatiently.

“You’re so distant lately, Reddix. I just want to feel close to you…I never feel like I really know you. Like I can really talk to you…” She swiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry…”

“She will never feel close to you—not as she should,” the witch’s voice whispered in his mind. “Without a working Touch Sense you’ll never really bond her to you, never give her the Deep Touch. Never make her yours completely. You’ll make her life miserable, Reddix. And eventually, she will leave you because of it.”

The scene changed, and this time he saw Nina carrying a heavy suitcase and crying.

“Goodbye,” she was saying, as she left the suite. Her grandmother—Mehoo-Jimmy—was waiting just outside for her.

“Come on, eecho,” she said soothingly. “Come away now. He’s no good for you.”

“Nina,” Reddix whispered, but her name stuck in his throat.

“Goodbye,” she said again, and tears were streaming from her eyes. “Oh, Reddix, it breaks my heart to go, but I can’t…can’t stay with you. Can’t live with a man I can’t understand. Who won’t communicate with me. I’m sorry—I need more than that.”

And then she turned her back on him. With no bond to hold her to him, it was just that easy. She could walk out of his life and leave him forever. Leave and never come back again…

“Wait!” Reddix wanted to shout. “Wait, I’ll do better, I’ll give more…” But it was too late, Nina had already turned, and she and her grandmother were gone as though they had never been there in the first place.

“This is your future,” the witch whispered to him once more. “I wish I could show you something more pleasant since you’ve been so helpful, but the potion tells only the truth.”

“That can’t be true,” he protested, mind-shouting at her. “Nina wouldn’t leave me like that.”

“But of course, she would. My dear Reddix, what do you think holds a Kindred and his bride together? What enables two people from such vastly different cultures—from different planets—to join as one? It is the life-bond. The mind connection that the Goddess grants to all her children when they become one in her name. Without it, they are too different to understand each other for long. Too disparate to make their love work. Without the bond, your love for Nina and hers for you will wither and die like a plant deprived of water.”

“That can’t be! I refuse to believe it.”

The witch gave a kind of mental shrug. “Believe or not, I don’t really care. But I warn you, the potion never lies-all that I have shown you is true. If you join with Nina and you are unable to bond her to you, she will eventually leave you. Not only will the lost love ruin your life but hers as well. She will be miserable all her days. That, Reddix, son of Redan, is your future and hers, if you choose to inflict it on her. And now, I release you to go your way.”

There was a brief, brilliant light, and suddenly, he could see again. Reddix blinked, looking around the witch’s hut, coming back to the real world. Nina was kneeling beside him crying and tugging on his arm.

“Reddix,” she choked. “Are you all right? Please tell me you’re all right. Please.”

“I’m all right,” he muttered, getting slowly to his feet. “It’s okay—I’m all right.”

“Oh, thank God!” Still crying, Nina reached up to touch his face. But she looked so much like she had in the evil vision the witch had shown him, he couldn’t help pulling away.

“I’m fine,” he said, taking her hand to keep her from reaching for him again. “Let’s just go. The gathering is probably already underway. Saber needs my support.”

“All right.” Nina gave him a bewildered look. “And…you’re sure everything is all right?”

“He is fine, my dear.” The witch smiled at them, her yellow eyes flashing pure gold for a moment.

“If you’ve hurt him for good—damaged him permanently in some way…” Nina glared at her.

The witch threw back her head and laughed—a shrill sound that seemed to pierce right through him. “Oh, my dear…he was damaged long before I did anything to him. But never fear, the momentary side effect of my potion is over, never to be repeated. Your lover should have nothing but a lingering memory to remind him of our little encounter.” She looked at Reddix meaningfully. “Farewell to both of you, warrior and…good luck on your future together.”

“You—” he began.

“Yes?” The witch smiled sweetly.

Reddix wanted to call her a poisonous bitch, but the words died in his mouth. There was nothing left to say. Nothing to do but go.

“Reddix? Is everything all right?” Nina was still looking at him anxiously.

“Fine,” he muttered. “Let’s just get away from here.”

They left the witch’s hovel and began the long slog back through the swamp.

But try as he might, Reddix couldn’t get the scene the witch had showed him out of his head. And he couldn’t help thinking of her words, If you join with Nina and you are unable to bond her to you, she will eventually leave you…She will be miserable all her days.

He didn’t have a working Touch Sense—there was no way he could bond with Nina. No way at all.

Chapter Thirty-two

“…and that is why I stand before you, declaring my intention to take my father’s place as OverChief of the Touch Kindred clans when he steps down,” Saber was saying as Nina and Reddix stepped quietly into the large auditorium. Like all the buildings she had seen on Tarsia, the large public space was spherical. It was also completely packed with important looking men Nina assumed were clan leaders, sitting at the front, as well as a huge number of regular citizens. The clan leaders were mostly older men, but she did see at least two that were Saber’s age. Everyone assembled wore somber expressions. Apparently the Touch Kindred took their public meetings very seriously.

“Great, it’s already started,” Reddix muttered under his breath. “Come on—I have to show my support for Saber.”

“All right,” Nina whispered back. She wished she could ask Reddix what was bothering him. Was it just the stress of the political rally and the uncertainty about his future role in the Tarsian government? Or was it something else? He hadn’t seemed the same since they had left the witch’s hut. Nina had tried to ask him why, but every time she said anything at all he snapped back a curt reply or else simply didn’t answer.

If they hadn’t been in a hurry to get to the gathering, Nina would have demanded answers or at the very least, let him know she didn’t appreciate the way he was acting. But now wasn’t the time. She promised herself if he was still acting so grumpy after the meeting she would say something. For now, though, she would bite her tongue.

Reddix went around to the side of the large stage which was situated at the far end of the huge round room and started to ascend the back steps. Nina hurried to join him.

“Wait—I’ll come with you,” she whispered.

Reddix shook his head. “No. Stay here—stand by the exit in case you need to get away quickly. This could turn ugly.”

Nina frowned. “But the crowd…their emotions…”

“I can’t feel them anymore—I’m cured? Remember?” His deep voice was bitter. Nina wondered why. Shouldn’t he be glad to be cured of his awful affliction?

“So…you can’t feel anything at all?” she asked, still speaking in a whisper.

Reddix shrugged. “Only a little. It’s like a…barrier, a wall, has been erected between me and them. I’ll be fine.”

“Well…all right.” Nina stepped back reluctantly and let him ascend to the stage by himself. When he got there, he took an empty seat beside an older man who looked much like him—probably his father, Redan. Seated beside him were a richly dressed man and his wife that Nina assumed were Saber’s parents. Saber himself was standing at the front of the stage. Lissa stood a little behind him and to his left, her face pale but proud, and her chin lifted in defiance.

“I have a question,” someone from the crowd called at Saber. “Is it true you recently got bonded to your amalla—your little sister?”

“I did,” Saber said stoically. He nodded at Lissa who came forward to stand by his side. “But Lissa is no blood relation to me.”

“Yes, but you’re of the same clan,” someone else in the audience called out.

“Yes, we are.” Saber nodded. “I make no attempt to deny it. I love Lissa, and she loves me. We are going against the old ways because we feel they are outdated and wrong. A male and a female who love each other should be able to be together, even if their families are of the same clan. This is my belief.”

“Well, it’s not our belief,” one of the older clansmen said.

“It’s sick!” declared another one. “How dare you stand before us and announce you’ll lead us while you’re involved in an incestuous bonding?”

“It’s not incest no matter what we have been taught,” Lissa said, holding Reddix’s hand firmly. “There is no blood connection between us. I realize that we of the Touch Kindred began our strict traditions about marrying outside the clan in order to control our males’ violent tendencies and out-of-control Touch Senses. But those days are over. Our people have come such a long way—our males are strong and brave and true—as good as any of the other Kindred races. Can’t we all agree it’s time to put old traditions to rest and start fresh?”

“Your words are as fair as your face,” an older woman in the crowd called out. “But we can see plain as plain the tears in poor Saber’s mother’s eyes. She weeps for the way you’ve corrupted her son.”

Saber’s mother sniffed audibly and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief, as though to underscore the woman’s point. Nina frowned—well, Lissa had said her mother-in-law didn’t care for her much. Still, she didn’t have to be so obvious about it.

“How can you stand to be with her? Have you no decency?” the older woman continued.

“Again I will say that I love Lissa—not as a sister, but as my bride,” Saber said stoically. “I know it may be hard to believe, but I have no familial feelings toward her at all. The kinship compounds which we are all injected with at birth don’t seem to have had any effect on Lissa or myself, leaving us free to fall in love.”

“You speak of falling in love with your kinswoman as thought it was right or good,” one of the older clan chiefs said. “But we of the Touch Kindred cannot condone it. We all weep for the loss of a fine young male who would have made an excellent OverChief.”

Saber bowed his head. “If you all feel that way, then I will of course, step down. But I would like to have more than one or two opinions before I relinquish my sacred right and duty to another.”

Reddix stood up. “Saber should be free to love as he chooses. We all should.” He cast a quick glance at Nina and then looked away. “He will still make an excellent OverChief and I for one will be proud to serve him.”

“You only say that because you fear to take the post yourself,” someone shouted out.

“I fear nothing,” Reddix growled. “I say what I say because Saber is my friend and my commander, and I believe as he and Lissa believe—the old ways are over. It is time for a new order.”

“Are all the younger generation corrupted?” one of the older chiefs demanded.

“All of those that would lead us, it seems,” retorted another.

There was a babble of voices.

“Heresy.”

“Disgusting.”

“Not right.”

“Forbidden.”

Nina felt her heart sink. Just as Reddix had predicted, the crowd was getting ugly and restless. Still, she was determined not to leave without him.

“How can you not see that this is wrong?” one of the older chief’s demanded, rising to address Saber.

“How can you not see that the old ways are outdated?”

Nina stared in surprise. The speaker was one of the younger clan chiefs which she had thought looked about Saber’s age.

“What?” The older chief looked surprised. “What did you say, Yarren?”

“You heard me.” The young chief rose. “I, Yarren, chief of the Moon Clan, wish to publicly declare my loyalty for Saber. When he serves as OverChief, I will be honored to serve under him.”

“What are you saying?” demanded another of the chiefs.

Saber’s father rose, the rich goldish-blue chain around his neck clinking importantly. “I think a better question, is why is he saying it?” he said. “Yarren, why do you speak so in support of my son?”

“A fair question—one I’m finally willing to answer.” The young chief, Yarren bowed his head respectfully to the OverChief and then looked up. “Only recently have I ascended as the chief of the Moon Clan, and many wondered why I chose to fill the position alone rather than take a bride.” He took a deep breath. “It is because I, too, am in love with my amalla.”

“What?” an older man who sat nearby him demanded. “How dare you say this, Yarren? I would never have stepped down and allowed you to take over as Chief if I had known.”

“I know, father,” the young chief said calmly. “But I love her, and I cannot be silent about it any longer.” He looked around the room. “Tamara—come to me.”

A slender girl with big brown eyes and long chestnut hair rose from the crowd at the back of the auditorium and made her way forward. Nina noticed that some people spat at her and made what she assumed were rude hand gestures as she passed. But others—mostly the younger people—looked at her with understanding and admiration in their eyes.

When the girl reached Yarren’s side, he took her hand and kissed her—gently but firmly—on the mouth. There was a long moment of silence, as though everyone in the auditorium was holding their breath. Then a young Kindred warrior in the crowd stood up and shouted,

“I love my amalla too!”

“I, as well,” shouted another.

Suddenly, the whole huge room erupted with shouts and declarations of love. The older chieftains looked around, plainly bewildered. Nina almost felt sorry for them, they looked so confused and upset.

Finally, Saber was able to restore order by shouting for silence.

“Yarren,” he said, addressing the young chief formally. “I thank you, my brother, for standing by me and for coming forward with your love. I know it isn’t an easy thing to admit. For any of you,” he added, addressing the other young couples in the crowd who were now standing side-by-side.

“Saber and I thought we stood alone in this,” Lissa said, smiling at Tamara and the other girls who were standing in the crowd. “Never did we dream our love was echoed by others.”

“But…I don’t understand.” Saber’s father was on his feet, staring around the room in bewilderment. “How could this be? What has happened to our young people?”

“As to that, OverChief, we do have a theory,” Yarren said, bowing his head respectfully to the older man. “I have long known that some of my Kindred brothers—all of us around the same age—dared to love outside the bounds of convention. My Tamara is a genetic analyst,” he said, smiling proudly at his female. “After doing some research, she has concluded that kinship compound we were all injected with as babies was corrupted in some way.”

“Yarren is right,” Tamara said calmly. “In fact, if my findings are correct, the compound we were given would make us more likely to fall in love with a member of our own clan rather than less. But I can promise you that no one had fallen in love with their brother or sister by blood.”

“It’s just that many of us have fallen in love with members of our own clan,” Yarren said.

The room erupted into a babble of voices again, but this time it was clear the younger people were making themselves heard. More and more of them came forward, announcing that they loved someone of the same clan until the older clan chiefs looked absolutely bewildered.

At last Saber’s father came forward. Calling for silence, he turned to his son and spoke.

“It is settled then—Saber will succeed me as OverChief.”

A few of the older chiefs started to protest but Saber’s father shook his head.

“No, do not gainsay me, my Brothers,” he said heavily. “What I have seen here tonight weighs heavily upon my heart but it is clear that our ways will be altered with or without our consent. Tradition and custom cannot stop the rising tide of change.”

A great shout went up from the younger people in the crowd and Saber took over from his father.

“I’m pleased and honored to serve you,” he said gravely. “And I swear by the Goddess to do my utmost to unite our people as one—clan to clan and generation to generation.”

Another cheer went up and some of the younger men who had professed love for their amallas surged forward to lift Saber on their shoulders. Clearly his position as the future OverChief was no longer in question. He would lead his people and lead them well, Nina had no doubt.

And, as she watched the tide of the meeting turn, she began to feel something growing inside her—an emotion she’d been suppressing fiercely for a long time. Hope, she thought, putting a hand to her heart. There’s hope now. If the younger generation supports Saber and puts him in power, Reddix will be free of his obligation. He won’t have to stay here and marry that awful Tilla. He can come with me, or I can stay with him. We can be together!

Excitement bubbled up inside her, and she looked for Reddix, hoping to see the same joy she felt on his face. But she couldn’t find him. Where had he gone?

She felt a twinge of unease, but just then Lissa came down to join her. The meeting had broken down into groups of people talking and gesturing, but it was clear that the younger generation was prevailing. Saber was smiling and laughing with some of the younger chiefs and the older ones were beginning, hesitantly, to speak to him as well.

“This is good, right?” Nina asked Lissa when she squeezed her hand.

“Very good.” The Kindred girl’s eyes were bright with excitement. “Amazing! Saber and I had no idea. And to think we almost didn’t come back.”

“I’m so glad you did,” Nina smiled at her. “This means Reddix is free—right? I mean, he doesn’t have to be the OverChief?”

“It doesn’t look like it.” Lissa beamed. “Come on, let’s go talk to him—it must be a huge weight off his shoulders!”

“Where is he? I don’t see him anywhere,” Nina nearly had to shout, to be heard above the crowd.

“Oh, he’s waiting for us by the shuttle. We have to go back to the Mother Ship tonight.” Lissa pulled her through the crowd and out of the huge, spherical auditorium as she spoke. “Whew,” she said, taking a deep breath when they got outside into the cool twilight. “That’s better—it’s so hot and crowded in there.”

“It really was,” Nina agreed. “Um, did you say you were going back to the Mother Ship tonight?”

“Yes, now that things are looking more settled here, I have to get right back for my friend Kat’s joining ceremony which I’m supposed to be planning and organizing. I assume you and Reddix will be coming back as well?”

“I think so,” Nina said, smiling. “We, uh, agreed last night that if things somehow worked out we would stay together.”

Lissa nodded. “I had a feeling about the two of you. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea at first, but, well, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I think you’re good for him, Nina.”

“Thank you.” Nina felt her cheeks get warm at the compliment. “I hope so. I know he’s had a hard life but maybe—oh, there he is now.”

They had been walking through the small wooded area behind the auditorium. Now the trees had opened up to form a small landing area. In it, a shuttle was parked, obviously primed and ready for takeoff. Standing in front of it, arms crossed over his broad chest, was Reddix.

“Reddix!” Nina ran to him and put her arms around his neck, but he made no move to return her embrace.

“Shuttle’s ready. You two should get going.”

“We…two?” Nina looked at him uncertainly. “What are you saying? Aren’t you coming with us? Who’s going to fly the ship?”

Reddix shook his head. “There’s a pilot already at the controls. I’m staying here.”

“To help Saber get everything in order?” Nina asked. “Do you want me to stay too? Or come back later?”

He frowned. “No, you’re going back to Earth, and I’m staying here on Tarsia. Permanently.”

“I…I don’t understand.” Nina released her hold on him and stepped back a pace. “What are you saying, Reddix? I thought we agreed that if things worked out for Saber to be the OverChief you and I would…would stay together. That we’d build a life together.”

“That was before.” He looked down at the ground, scowling.

“Before what?” Nina was beginning to feel sick at her stomach. “Before you remember you were engaged to Tilla?”

“Tilla has nothing to do with this,” he growled, glancing at her briefly. “I told you I don’t want anything to do with her.”

“But you don’t want anything to do with me either? Is that it?” Nina shook her head, feeling like she was in the middle of a bad dream. “Reddix, look at me! What is this all about?”

“It’s about you leaving, and me staying here. Is that so hard to understand, sweetheart?” he snapped sarcastically.

“But…I…” Nina shook her head. “I don’t get it. I thought…thought we cared about each other. I thought we wanted a life together.”

He laughed harshly. “Looks like you thought wrong.”

Nina stared at him. A strange, high buzzing had started in her head. A feeling of unreality so strong she kept expecting to wake up at any minute consumed her. This couldn’t be happening, could it? He had never actually said the words, I love you—neither of them had. But it was understood, wasn’t it? He loved her, didn’t he? She could tell it by the way he had begged her forgiveness for Tilla, the way he had come hunting for her in the swamp?

The swamp, she thought suddenly. The swamp witch has something to do with this!

“What did she do to you?” she asked, taking a step toward him. “The witch—what did she do? Did that potion she give you make you feel different…strange? You haven’t been the same since you took it.” She took his hand in both of hers. “Please, Reddix, tell me.”

“The only thing different about me is that my RTS is cured now. So I don’t need an emotional damper hanging around all the time touching me.” He yanked his hand out of hers and took a step back.

“So that’s it? That’s really it?” Realization began to dawn on her. “Of course, that’s it,” she murmured, answering her own question. “You don’t need me anymore. You’re free of your RTS, and now you want to get rid of me too.”

“Now you begin to understand,” he growled.

“I understand, all right.” She crossed her arms tightly over her chest and took another step back from him. “I understand that you’ve been using me, right from the start. All you ever wanted was a cure for your RTS—that was why you kidnapped me in the first place, right? And then you probably set things up with the witch so that she would come and get me and take me back to her hut.”

“Now wait a minute,” he protested. “I never—”

“She told me,” Nina went on, overriding him. “She told me that having a willing victim for the sacrifice would make her potion more effective. Is that why you made me care about you, Reddix? Is that why you made…” She choked but forced herself to go on. “Made me love you? So I’d be willing?”

“Nina…” The hardness in his silver eyes had melted, and the look on his handsome, scarred face was desperately unhappy, but Nina was too upset to see it.

“No.” She turned away from him and headed toward the waiting shuttle. “I don’t want to hear anymore. I just want to go. I want to get out of here and never see you again.”

“Good—then go.” His deep voice went harsh again. “It’s better this way. Better for both of us. I’m no good for you, Nina.”

She turned to face him once more. “It looks to me like you’re not good for anyone but yourself. Goodbye, Reddix. Have…have a nice life.”

She wanted to leave without breaking down, didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. But on the last word, the tears burst forth, and she couldn’t stop a sob from escaping before she turned her back on him and ran into the shuttle.

* * * * *

Reddix stared after her, feeling like she’d ripped his heart out and was taking it with her. But what could he do? He was letting her go—giving her freedom for her own good. He could have let her down easier, tried to explain—but that would never work. He knew Nina, knew how persistent and tenacious she could be. She would never give up on them if she thought he still cared for her. That he still loved her. So he had to lie, had to send her away thinking he’d used her. And if she hated him for it, well, that was better than ruining her life—wasn’t it? Wasn’t it?

Reddix didn’t have an answer.

Lissa, who had been hanging back to give them some privacy, suddenly came forward. Before he could say a word, she slapped him—hard, across the face.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” she said, her green eyes flashing. “I know I am ashamed of you. I just stood up in front of all our clans and said how much the men of the Touch Kindred have grown. I spoke about how kind and brave and honorable they are. But you—you are none of those things.”

“You don’t have to tell me that,” Reddix growled. “I already fucking know it.”

“Then you should also know this.” Lissa poked a finger at him. “You just threw away the best thing to ever happen to you in your whole miserable existence. I hope you regret it every day for the rest of your life.”

“I will.” Reddix rubbed his cheek, which still stung from her slap. “Believe me, I already do.”

“Then why are you doing this?” Lissa looked at him with honest bewilderment. “I can tell you care for Nina—why are you pushing her away?”

He frowned at her. “That’s none of your Goddess damned business. Let’s just say it’s for her own good and leave it at that.”

Lissa shook her head. “I guess you have your reasons, but whatever they are, they’re not good enough for doing what you just did to Nina.” She gave him a last disgusted look. “Good-bye, Reddix.”

With that, she marched up the short gangplank and into the waiting shuttle. The plank drew up, and the door closed behind her with a metallic hiss-bang. The pilot—who had only been waiting for the signal to go—had the shuttle in the air in an instant.

Reddix stood and watched as it rose swiftly over the tops of the trees, moving up and up until it was nothing but a shimmering dot in the night sky. Then it blinked once and disappeared completely.

Nina was gone.

Chapter Thirty-three

“Are you sure you don’t mind helping?” Lissa asked anxiously for what had to be the tenth time.

Nina tried to smile. “I’m positive. I don’t feel ready to go home yet, and I don’t want to just hang around this big old ship doing nothing. Besides, your friend Kat seems like she could use the extra hands.”

“Poor Kat.” Lissa sighed. “She’s the one who usually plans everyone else’s events. I think it’s just about killing her to give in and let someone else plan her joining ceremony, but she’s been having a rough time with her pregnancy lately—nothing serious, just a lot of morning sickness and nausea.”

“She’s pregnant?” Nina was surprised. “I couldn’t tell—she’s certainly not showing.”

“And that’s how we want to keep it,” the red-headed Kat came bustling up with a smile on her face. “At least until I tie the knot with my guys officially. Then I can wait a week or two and tell my grandmother I’m ‘in the family way,’ as she so delicately puts it. Until then, I’m not preggers—or at least I’m not admitting to it.”

“Got it,” Nina said, smiling. “So we’ll keep the baby talk under wraps.”

“Yes, please.” Kat fanned herself with the wedding program she was holding. “It was bad enough explaining to her that I have three way nookie. If she finds out I’ve got a bun in the oven on top of it all…” She shook her head. “Well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be good.”

“I think we can keep things quiet,” Lissa said. “But you should go lie down, Kat. It’s only a few hours until the ceremony—you need to rest.”

“I can rest when I’m dead,” the red-head said grimly. “Right now, I need to make sure everything is perfect before we get started.”

“Well, let’s see,” Lissa ticked off points on her fingers. “The tables are all set for the reception. There’s a program in every chair. The sacred grove is decorated, and I’ve posted Baird to be sure everyone removes their shoes and boots before they go in to the ceremony—which I am fully ready to perform.”

Nina looked at her in surprise. “You’re the one doing the ceremony?”

Lissa nodded. “I’m still technically a priestess of the Goddess so I was happy to agree when Kat asked me.”

“Thank you, doll.” Kat smiled at her gratefully. “I can’t wait to hear you tell the guys they can kiss the bride.”

“It will be my pleasure,” Lissa assured her friend.

“We’re almost done with the favors and place settings too,” Nina offered, holding up a small lace baggie filled with sugar almonds and a tiny white wire picture frame with a name written in calligraphy in the center.

“Is that your handwriting?” Kat looked at the tiny place setting in wonder. “Wow, that’s beautiful Nina. Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome.” Nina smiled at her. “I’m just grateful to have something to do.”

“She means to take her mind off Reddix,” Lissa explained. She frowned. “When I think of how he acted…I’ve already told Saber he’s not invited to our joining ceremony, whenever we finally have one.”

“Thanks, Lissa.” Nina lifted her chin. It had only been a few days, and her heart still felt like it had been shattered into a million pieces, but she was determined to move on. “But you don’t have to do that. I’m not going to let him bother me.”

“Brave girl,” Kat said admiringly. “Well, if you can really get over him that easily, it wasn’t meant to be in the first place.”

“Exactly what I’ve been telling her,” Lissa said. “I just—”

“Oh, look out—disaster at five o clock,” Kat hissed, turning her back.

“What?” Nina looked around uncertainly. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s the new girl—Maggie Jordan. She’s up here on the ship because she’s going to participate on the first wholly integrated Human/Kindred exploration. Which basically means some of the warriors are checking out a new planet and letting some humans tag along.”

“That sounds nice,” Nina was intrigued. “She must be really smart to be chosen for that.”

“Oh, she is—smart as a whip,” Kat said earnestly. “She’s got a doctorate in xenobiology and xenobotany, and she’s only twenty-five. That’s like…amazing. Impossible.”

“So what’s the problem? Why are you hiding from her?” Lissa asked.

Kat frowned. “Well, you see, the thing is—she’s too smart. You know that old stereotype of the absent minded professor who has his head in the clouds all the time? Well, that’s Maggie. She’s so smart she has no common sense.”

“She’s pretty, anyway,” Nina offered, staring at the girl over Kat’s shoulder. She had short, rather messy honey blonde hair that was a mass of curls around her heart-shaped face. Her eyes might have been brown, but it was hard to tell—they were hidden behind a pair of thick, round glasses. She had a good figure which was unfortunately hidden by the bulky lace dress in a rather horrible shade of puce she was wearing. “Pretty in an…academic nerd girl kind of way, anyway,” Nina amended.

“Pretty but not practical,” Kat confided in a low voice. “Sophie took her under her wing and asked if she could help with the wedding. Of course I said yes because I need all the help I can get. But already she’s knocked over a dozen chairs, spilled half a bottle of wine that wasn’t even supposed to be opened yet, and broken half a dozen crystal champagne flutes. I’m telling you, girls, she’s an accident waiting to happen.”

Just then, as though she’d been called, Maggie Jordan caught sight of Kat and hurried over.

“Oh, Kat!” she exclaimed. “I’m so glad to see you. Is there anything else I can do to help?”

“Well…” Kat smiled at her warily. “As a matter of fact, Lissa and Nina here were just saying they could use some help with the favors and the place settings.”

“Oh good! Anything I can do.” Maggie swept out her hands in a gesture of goodwill. Unfortunately, she happened to catch two or three of the little picture frames and knocked them off the table Nina was sitting at. The delicate glass shattered immediately, littering the floor with tiny sharp shards.

“Oops,” Lissa murmured.

“Oh dear!” Maggie cried. “I’m so sorry! Here, let me clean that up.” She bent down at once and began picking up the shattered glass.

“Don’t,” Nina warned. “You’ll stick yourself—let me get a broom.”

But it was too late. Maggie had already stabbed her finger with a piece of glass.

“Ouch!” She straightened up abruptly, and the top of her head smacked the underside of the table with a bang. Luckily, Nina was able to save the rest of the tiny picture frame place settings, but sugared almonds went rolling everywhere.

“Are you all right?” Lissa looked under the table to where Maggie was still crouched.

“I think so…” Maggie came crawling out from under the table with one hand held out in front of her. A long shard of glass was sticking out of her middle finger.

“Here—let me get that,” Nina said, bending down.

“Oh, no. I—”Maggie began, but Nina had already plucked the long shard of glass out of her finger. The minute she did, a droplet of blood welled up. Nina had a napkin all ready to wrap around the wounded digit, but the minute Maggie saw the blood, her eyes rolled up in her head and she began to faint.

“Oh, catch her!” Kat gasped.

Moving fast, Lissa fell to her knees and managed to cushion the other girl’s head before it hit the ground. “Got her!”

“Sorry,” Maggie moaned as Nina hurriedly wrapped her finger with the napkin. “I don’t like…blood. My own blood, I mean.” She sat up woozily, and Lissa helped her. “I don’t mind…anybody else’s. But when I see my own…”

“That’s okay,” Kat said quickly. “I’m not a big fan of blood myself.” She sighed and put a hand to her head. “You know, Lissa, I think I will lay down a minute. Do you girls have everything under control here?”

“Absolutely,” Lissa promised. She made a face at Nina who shrugged and smiled at Kat.

“We’ll get everything just right for your big day. Don’t worry about it—go get some rest.”

“Thanks, girls.” Kat gave them a strained smile and hurried off.

“Well, I think I’m going to go find something to sweep all this up,” Lissa said, standing and helping Maggie to her feet. “Nina, why don’t you make a few more of the sugared almond favors while I’m gone? And Maggie, I’ll see if I can find something to bandage your finger—just sit tight and put pressure on it.”

“In other words, keep my hands in my lap.” Maggie nodded unhappily. “I understand.”

“We’ve got it.” Nina nodded at Lissa and pulled out a chair for Maggie, making sure it was on the opposite side of the table from the tiny fragile picture frames.

“Oh, dear. I think I stressed Kat out,” Maggie said sadly. She sat down carefully, making sure not to bump the table. “I’m sorry about the mess—I only wanted to help. I just get so clumsy when I’m nervous.”

“It’s all right,” Nina said consolingly. “And Kat’s just stressed about the wedding—that’s all.”

“Thanks for being so nice about it. I know I’m a pain to be around sometimes.” Maggie smiled and pushed up her glasses, which were slipping down her nose. Nina reflected that she really was very pretty. Her tousled blonde curls and big brown eyes gave her an air of absentminded innocence that was both charming and unusual.

“You’re not a pain,” she protested as she grabbed a tiny piece of lace and some ribbon and began making favors again. “In fact, Kat was just telling us how smart you are. She said you have a PhD in xeno…”

“Xenobiology and xenobotany—the study of alien animals and plants. Up until now we’ve only been able to study the specimens the Kindred have been willing to share with us. But soon—” Maggie leaned forward eagerly, jostling the table. “Oops, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Nina put down her favor and quickly began turning the miniature picture frames face down. As long as she was talking with Maggie, it seemed best to secure anything delicate and fragile. “Tell me more,” she went on, as she worked. “I’ve, uh, recently been to two alien worlds myself, and I wished the whole time I was there that I knew more about the culture and the people…”

She choked to a stop, thinking of Reddix. Maybe if she’d known more about the Touch Kindred, more about what he wanted and needed, they wouldn’t be apart right now.

Stop it, she told herself fiercely. Now isn’t the time for a breakdown! You’re over him. Completely over him so stop getting emotional.

“Hey, are you all right?” Maggie was peering at her anxiously through her thick glasses. “You seem…upset.”

“It’s nothing.” Nina sniffed and tried to smile at her. If only she didn’t still feel so shattered inside. So broken and used. “I’m fine,” she said, trying to reassure herself as well as the other girl. “Tell me…tell me about your mission—Kat said you were going with a group of Kindred to explore a new planet they found?”

“Oh, yes!” Maggie’s face glowed with excitement. “Gaia is what they’re calling it. It’s classified as a Super Earth world—meaning is has the same atmospheric composition and is the same distance from its sun as our planet is from ours, but it’s about three times larger than Earth. Of course, the gravity will be commensurately higher, but the Kindred tell me they have ways of compensating for that.”

“Oh?” Nina smiled at her, feeling more in control of herself. I don’t miss him, she told herself. I don’t need him. I’m fine.

“Yes,” Maggie went on, her eyes shining. “The Kindred scans have indicated a large variety of local flora and fauna. I just can’t wait to start classifying them! The papers I can write…I’ll literally never run out of material.”

“I never saw anyone get excited about writing a paper before,” Nina said, grinning.

Maggie smiled ruefully. “Oh, I must sound like a huge nerd, huh? But I just can’t help myself—I love finding out new things.”

Nina couldn’t help laughing—the other girl’s enthusiasm was infectious.

“Well, it sounds like you’re going to have a lot to find out about. Who are you traveling with?”

“Some Kindred scientists—a married couple.” Maggie sighed. “I wish I wasn’t the only human going, but the Kindred were really firm about it and my fiancé, Kurt, is buried in his own research right now anyway.”

“Oh, is he a scientist too?”

Maggie nodded. “A molecular biologist. He made me promise to bring back plenty of samples.”

“How long will you be gone? I bet he’s really going to miss you.”

“Six months to start with.” Maggie shrugged. “Kurt probably won’t even notice I’m gone except he’ll have to make his own coffee—which irks him when he’s in the middle of a research project.”

Nina raised an eyebrow. “Not exactly the warm and fuzzy type, huh?”

Maggie gave her a little half-smile. “No, more like the calculating and analytical type. But you know, we both have our work to keep us busy. Some days we go from morning until night without saying a word.”

“Really?” Nina asked doubtfully. “That doesn’t sound like a very, uh…That sounds interesting,” she amended.

Maggie shrugged again. “I know it sounds strange, but it’s perfect, really. As a scientist, you need a significant other who won’t interrupt your work or get upset when you’re so into your research you don’t have time for anything or anyone else. Kurt and I are both really good at that. Kurt especially—he’s really good at it.” She sighed, and Nina thought she looked a little bit sad.

“When do you get started?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

Maggie brightened. “We’re actually leaving tomorrow, but we’re not going straight to Gaia. We have an errand to run on another planet first which is kind of on the way.”

“What planet?” Nina picked up a handful of sugared almonds and began doling them out into the little baggies she’d created with the lace and ribbons.

“A place called Yonnie Six, I think?” Maggie frowned. “We have to deliver some kind of a collar…”

“A Hurkon collar?” Nina throat suddenly felt tight.

“Yes, that’s right. How did you know?”

“I…I…” Nina shook her head. Suddenly, the fragile web of lies she’d been building for herself—that she was over Reddix, that she didn’t love him anymore—came crashing down. “I’m sorry,” she said, rising abruptly. “I…I need to get away.”

“Away where? Are you all right?” Maggie stood too, for once not knocking anything over in the process, and went around to Nina. “Hey,” she said awkwardly, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You look awful. What’s really going on?”

The simple act of kindness undid Nina completely. Though she tried not to, she started to cry.

“I’m sorry,” she said, putting a hand to her face. “I just…I miss him so much. I’ve tried to tell myself I don’t care and I’m over him, but I don’t…don’t think I’ll ever get over him. From the first minute he kidnapped me, there was just…something about him. I knew I shouldn’t let myself fall for him, but I couldn’t help it! I mean, there we were, stranded on a planet full of people who communicated with emotions and he has RTS—or had it anyway—and he couldn’t stand it so I had to touch him to keep them from hurting him, and then we had to feed the collar so it wouldn’t shock him, and even though I kept telling myself I was only doing what was necessary, I couldn’t help feeling for him. And then later, on Tarsia when he said he wanted to spend his life with me, and then he…he…I…I…” She shook her head and burst into fresh sobs.

“Um…Okay. Everything is going to be okay…” Maggie put an arm around her tentatively. “I’m sorry,” she said in a low voice. “I never know what to say in this kind of situation, and I don’t understand hardly any of what you just told me, but it’s clear somebody really hurt you.”

“That’s an…an underst-statement,” Nina said through her tears. “I feel like he ripped my heart out and used it to wipe his boots on.”

“Oh, honey…” Maggie patted her back awkwardly. “I’m so sorry,” she murmured, looking at Nina anxiously. “I, uh, wish I knew what to say.”

“You’re doing just fine.” Nina sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “I’m sorry. I just…when you said about the Hurkon collar, I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s okay.” Maggie gave her a quick hug. “Whatever it is, you can get through it. But it’s okay to cry—sometimes you can’t help it. Believe me—I know.”

Nina sniffed again and blotted her eyes on a napkin.

“Thanks, Maggie.” She tried to smile at the other girl. “You know, you don’t seem like the cold scientific type.”

“Oh, well…” Maggie smiled and shrugged uneasily. “I told you—that’s my fiancé’s department. I’m not usually the huggy-touchy-feely type either, but well, you seemed like you needed a hug.”

“You’re a sweetheart.” Nina blotted her eyes some more and sniffed again. She still felt sad, but at least she was more like herself now that she’d cried a little. She straightened up and took a deep breath. “Okay—better now. And look—here comes Lissa and she’s got Lauren with her.” Lissa had introduced her to all her friends, and Nina liked Lauren very much.

“Oh.” Maggie brightened. “I haven’t met her yet, but I’ve heard all about her from Sophia and Olivia.”

“She’s really easy going and laid back—not to mention she makes the most fabulous cupcakes you’ll ever taste,” Nina said.

“Hi, girls.” Lauren smiled at both of them as she came up and put a hand to her back. “How’s everyone doing? Ugh, better than me, I hope.” She rubbed her swollen belly. “My little girl is kicking me like crazy right now.”

Maggie frowned. “Is everyone on the Mother Ship pregnant? So far almost everyone I’ve met has either just had a baby or is about to have one. Olivia, Sophia, Kat, you…”

“Yeah, well, we all boarded the baby train around the same time,” Lauren said, laughing. “Or that’s how Kat puts it anyway. Speaking of the lady of the hour, she told me that you have some beautiful handwriting.” She nodded at Nina.

“Well, yes, I guess,” Nina said. “Um, why?”

“Well, I have these signs I need made for the different layers of the cake.” Lauren held out several large rectangles of thick, creamy cardstock with gold edges and a black felt marker. “And my own handwriting is just complete chicken scratch. So I was hoping…”

“Sure.” Nina took the cards and marker from her and sat down at the table. “What do you need them to say?”

“Here’s a list.” Lauren unfolded a piece of paper and handed it over to Nina who scanned it rapidly.

“Hmm… Chocolate with raspberry filling, white chocolate with apricot, Lemon with strawberry. And vanilla with…” She squinted at the paper—Lauren really did have bad handwriting. “Uh, bonding fruit? What’s that?”

“That is a bad idea, but Kat insisted.” Lauren sighed. “Be sure you put the warning on the bottom of the bonding fruit one.”

“Okay…” Nina read on with a frown. “Warning—bonded couples only.” She looked up at Lauren. “So only married couples can eat that layer? Why?”

“Because it’s extremely potent. I cooked about three bushels of bonding fruit down to make the puree for the filling and let me tell you—that stuff is concentrated. Just one bite is enough to make you climb your man like a tree—so you better have a man to climb if you taste it.”

“Excuse me,” Maggie said, her brown eyes interested behind her thick lenses. “But are you saying that this bonding fruit is actually an aphrodisiac? How fascinating.”

“It’s a lot more than fascinating if you eat too much of it,” Lauren said grimly. “I’m still not sure if it might not be too strong…”

“Well, I’ll be happy to write these out for you,” Nina said, smiling. “And I can’t wait to taste the cake—if it’s anything like your cupcakes it’s bound to be delicious.”

Lauren smiled. “It’s been so much fun to make. I enjoyed it so much I may start specializing in wedding cakes instead of cupcakes. But right now, I have to get back to it. Could you bring those to the reception area beside the sacred grove when you get done? You know the way, right?”

“I do,” Maggie said at once. “I’ll be happy to bring them as soon as Nina finishes.”

“Thanks, Maggie.” Lauren smiled. “I’ll see you in a bit. I have to make sure every little thing is perfect with the cake topper. You have no idea how hard it was to find one with one bride and two grooms.”

Nina smiled. “I can just imagine.” She waved as Lauren walked off and then got back to work on the signs.

“Well…” Lissa had just finished sweeping up the last of the glass from Maggie’s earlier accident. “It looks like everything is online for the joining ceremony. I hope Saber will get here on time—he promised to try and make it.”

Nina felt her heart twist. If only Reddix would come too! No, she scolded herself. He’s not coming, and you’re better off without him.

“I hope he makes it too,” she said, smiling at her friend. “I’m sure it’s going to be a beautiful ceremony.”

* * * * *

“It’s going to be a beautiful ceremony,” Saber said, pulling on his flight jacket. “And you’re coming with me.”

“What in the Seven Hells are you talking about?” Reddix growled. “You know I can’t come with you—Nina’s probably going to be there.”

“Which is exactly why you’re coming.” Saber put a hand on his arm and tugged him toward the waiting shuttle. “Come on.”

“No.” Reddix held back stubbornly. “I can’t.”

“Why not? I know you want to.” Saber turned to face him. “Look, Brother, you’re miserable without her—anyone who looks at you can see it. Even Minda mentioned it to me the other night when we were visiting her. So what’s holding you back?”

Reddix sighed and looked away. “Let’s just say she’s better off without me.”

“You really believe that?” Saber demanded. “Why? Because you kidnapped her? I thought she’d forgiven you for that.”

“No, it has nothing to do with that…”

“Well, what does it have to do with?” Saber asked. “You might as well know, Lissa told me about what happened the night she and Nina left for the Mother Ship. She said Nina was devastated and that you looked pretty awful yourself. Why did you let her go when we all know you care about her so much?”

“I let her go because I couldn’t hold her, all right?” Reddix growled. “Because I couldn’t give her what a normal male could.”

“What do you mean a ‘normal male'?” Saber frowned. “I thought you were cured of your RTS now.”

“I am…mostly.” Actually, Reddix could still “hear” the emotions of others—for instance, he could tell that his friend was worried and upset for him right now. But it was a distant sensation he could ignore—muffled—like someone shouting from another room. It was irritating but no longer debilitating which was good, he supposed. In the past, such a huge reduction in the disease which had claimed that last ten years of his life would have made him ecstatic. Instead, he just felt miserable.

Saber frowned. “What do you mean ‘mostly'?”

“I mean I can still tell what people are feeling, it just doesn’t affect me as much,” Reddix said. “Which is about what Xandra promised me so I guess I can’t complain.”

“So she did keep her promise.” Saber shook his head. Reddix had given him a very abbreviated version of what had happened without going into details, but he was clearly still curious.

“She did a hell of a lot more than keep her promise.” Reddix scowled. “She gave me a fucking bonus—showed me what my future would be like with Nina if I tried to join with her.”

“So that’s what this is all about.” Saber frowned. “All right—tell me all about it. What exactly did she show you?”

“The truth—that even though the RTS is under control, I’m still crippled.”

“Crippled? Come on, Reddix…”

“I have no Touch Sense!” Reddix roared, losing his patience. “Don’t you see? Or do you take what you have so for granted that you don’t even think about it anymore?”

“You do have a Touch Sense,” Saber countered. “It’s just inverted—that’s what RTS is, isn’t it?”

“That’s not the point,” Reddix insisted. “The point is, I can’t ask Nina to stay with someone who lacks the basic ability to bond with her. Can’t ask her to share her life with me when we’ll never really connect. She’ll hate me after a while, Saber! I’ll make her life miserable.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “I can’t do that to her. I care for her too much…love her too much to do that to her.”

“Then come tell her that,” Saber said quietly.

“What?” Reddix looked at his friend in irritation. “Now why in the Seven Hells would I do that?”

“Because you’re a decent person inside, even though you act like a total ass at times,” Saber said grimly. “Lissa told me how you left things with Nina—you let her think you didn’t care, that you only used her to cure your RTS. That’s wrong, Reddix. You owe her more than that.”

“Goddess damn it…” Reddix rubbed a hand over his face. “Don’t you think I know that? But I was afraid if I tried to explain she’d insist on staying together. And the witch showed me how that would end.”

“What exactly did she show you?” Saber demanded. “And what makes you so sure you can trust her?”

“Because she told me the truth about everything else,” Reddix growled. “She never pretended she could cure my RTS completely—she said she could mute it, which is exactly what she did. It’s livable now—bearable. So why would she lie about this?”

“Because she’s a witch,” Saber said patiently. “Because she hates us—all of us but especially your father.”

“What?” Reddix looked at him, startled. “What do you mean? Why?”

Saber shook his head. “I don’t know why exactly. I only know what my father told me—that apparently before your mother came along, Redan was supposed to join with Xandra.”

“He never told me that.”

“Probably because he never thought you’d go seek her out. According to my father, they had a falling out years ago. Then Xandra went to live in the swamp, and they never saw each other again. Think about it…” Saber tapped his forehead. “She might be carrying a grudge. She might have shown you something completely false just to make you miserable.”

Reddix frowned. “I wish I could believe that’s true but…no. I don’t think so. What she showed me…it had the ring of truth to it. It makes sense. What ties a Kindred and his bride together? Their bond. We’re genetic traders, Saber. We travel the stars looking for new blood to join with ours. What makes us able to form a life with such different beings, to overcome the challenges of new cultures and religions and attitudes? Our bond. If I can’t give that to Nina, she’ll leave me.”

“And that’s the heart of the matter, isn’t it?” Saber raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re afraid she’ll leave you—so you left first.”

“I…” Reluctantly, Reddix nodded. “I suppose you’re right. I told myself I was trying to spare her pain, but when you put it that way, what I did sounds cowardly and weak.”

“There’s no shame in being afraid, Brother.” Saber squeezed his shoulder gently, and Reddix “heard” the care and worry the other male felt for him like a distant murmur of waves crashing on a beach. “I was frightened damn near to death when Lissa and I were on Yonnie Six together,” Saber continued. “Frightened I would seem less than a male in her eyes, that she would lose respect for me and leave me. So I did the same thing you did—I left first.”

“You did?” Reddix frowned. “Why did you never tell me about this?”

“I was ashamed,” Saber admitted. “I loved her so much, but I treated her so badly.” He smiled. “But somehow, she found it in herself to forgive me, though I truly didn’t deserve it.” He squeezed Reddix’s shoulder again. “I saw the way Nina looked at you, Brother. I would bet my life she’ll find a way to forgive you, too.”

Reddix sighed. “But won’t I just make things harder for her? Explaining how I truly feel but that we still can’t be together?”

Saber looked thoughtful. “I think it will be easier for her than thinking you used her and tossed her aside. A female likes to know that you think of her and care for her—even if you can’t show it or do anything about it. Truly, I think you should come with me. You owe Nina an explanation.”

Reddix knew he was right.

“All right,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll come. Even if she spits in my face, at least I’ll get to see her one last time.”

Saber smiled. “She won’t spit in your face. Come, Brother—let’s go. We have a joining ceremony to get to.”

Chapter Thirty-four

“That was a gorgeous ceremony.” Olivia sighed happily as she plopped down next to Nina and Lissa at the round table in the reception area. It was a large white tent with open sides set up right next to the sacred grove where the wedding had been held. Nina was glad to see that every table looked perfect with a centerpiece of exotic alien flowers surrounded by the miniature picture frame place settings and the tiny bags of almonds.

“It really was,” she agreed. In fact, it had been one of the most moving weddings she’d ever been to. Kat had been walked up the aisle by Olivia and Sophia who had handed her off to her two grooms, Lock and Deep, who were waiting by the altar. The vows had been a little complicated—there being three ‘I dos’ instead of two, but Lissa had handed it beautifully. In the end, when Kat had kissed both her men at once, everyone had risen from their seats, cheering—even Kat’s straight-laced grandmother.

The grandmother in question was currently getting tipsy on punch up near the front of the tent where the cake and refreshments had been set. The three-way cake cutting ceremony had been both amusing and memorable. Kat and Deep had shoved cake in each other’s mouths, and then both of them had attacked poor Lock, filling his mouth so full of cake he nearly choked with laughter. Frosting, of course, got everywhere—Deep had even had some in his bushy black eyebrows. Now the three of them were standing together and talking happily while sharing another piece of cake.

Nina was sure that Kat and her two husbands were going to be extremely happy together—she just wished she could be a little more joyful on their behalf. But ever since her mini breakdown when she was talking with Maggie before the ceremony, she couldn’t seem to perk up again.

“Hey,” Lissa said, putting a hand on her arm. “Are you all right, Nina?”

“I’m fine.” She tried to smile at her friend. “Just a little tired, that’s all.”

“Well then, eat your cake.” Olivia gestured to the large slice of wedding cake Nina had in front of her. “Sugar rush—it’ll give you energy for sure.”

Nina smiled. “I’m sure it will—it looks delicious.”

“Sure does.” Liv looked at her own cake with obvious anticipation. “What kind did you get?”

“The same as you and Lissa—white chocolate with apricot,” Nina said.

“Yes, I thought about trying some of the bonding fruit layer, but I know how that would end up, and I’m not ready to get little Daniel a brother or sister yet.” Liv grinned. “Although I’m sure Baird would certainly enjoy trying.”

“I’m staying away from that layer too since I’m, uh single.” Nina sighed. “I’m just going to take a bite of this cake though, I swear. I really need to start watching my carbs again now that I’m going back home.”

“Who are you kidding, girly?” Olivia grinned. “This cake is made by Lauren—you can’t just eat one bite. Come on, try it—you too, Lissa. Let’s all dig in at once.”

Nina and Lissa smiled at each other and picked up their forks.

“All right,” Nina said. “You twisted my arm.”

“On three,” Liv instructed. “One…two…”

“Three,” Nina finished for her. Pulling her plate toward her, she dug into the mound of rich buttercream icing, moist, fluffy cake and sticky sweet filling. “Mmmm,” she murmured, letting the delicious mixture melt on her tongue. It was so good she rolled her eyes up in ecstasy. “You’re right, Liv—I’m eating all of this.” She dug in again, taking an even bigger bite. It might be wrong to drown her sorrows in cake, but damn it, she’d had a hard couple of weeks lately. She needed something sweet to brighten her life. Feeling justified, she ate some more.

“Eating it all and going back for a second piece afterward, right?” Liv grinned and dug into her own cake. “So good…and such an unusual taste for apricot.” She took another bite, frowning. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever tasted an apricot like this.”

“That’s because it’s not apricot.” Lauren rushed up to the table with a worried look on her face, Maggie in tow. “Stop everyone! Forks down!” she exclaimed.

“What? Why?” Nina finished another bite and licked the fork. “Did a mouse fall in the batter or something?”

“No, nothing like that, but the signs on the layers got mixed up.”

“It was my fault,” Maggie explained guiltily. “I’m so sorry—I just wanted to help. I never meant to cause any trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?” Nina was beginning to get a very bad feeling about all this.

“The kind where you want nookie so bad you’re crawling out of your skin,” Olivia groaned. She looked at Lauren. “Are you telling me we’ve been stuffing our faces with bonding fruit cake?”

“I’m afraid so.” Lauren twisted her fingers together. “How much have you eaten?”

“Pretty much the whole slice. I thought it tasted familiar.” Olivia frowned and shifted in her seat. “Oh my God, what’s going on? This is working fast.”

“It’s because it’s so concentrated,” Lauren nearly wailed. “When I cooked the fruit down, I pretty much quadrupled its potency. I have to go warn everyone!” She rushed off again, making the rounds of the other tables. “Stop eating,” Nina heard her yelling. “Not another bite!”

“Okay, now I have to find Baird.” Liv hopped up. “Fast.”

“I should find Saber too,” Lissa confessed, crossing her legs uncomfortably.

“I thought he didn’t make it in time for the ceremony,” Liv said.

“He didn’t, but just as they were cutting the cake, he bespoke me through our link and told me he was landing.” She uncrossed her legs and recrossed them. “Oh dear!”

Oh dear was right. Nina looked down at her plate and realized that she had somehow managed to consume almost the entire slice. And now she was beginning to feel the effects.

“Nina?” Maggie looked at her with concern. “Are you all right? Your face is all flushed.”

“Oh no, Nina!” Liv shook her head. “I’m so sorry—I didn’t even think about you eating the cake too.” She looked at Lissa. “She’s not bonded to anyone—what is she going to do?”

Lissa shook her head and shifted in her seat. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know.” She looked at Nina. “Are you okay?”

“I…don’t know,” Nina confessed. “I feel hot all over and…and sensitive. Almost itchy. Could I be having some kind of an allergic reaction?”

“I don’t think so—I think that’s just the bonding fruit,” Lissa said. “Although I’ve never tried any before…”

“I did once, on a dare from Kat,” Liv said. “And what we’re all feeling is perfectly normal—although this is a much faster reaction than I had when I just ate the fruit.”

“What can I do?” Nina was shifting in her chair now as well. In addition to being hot all over, her nipples were suddenly so tight they ached, and the spot between her legs was throbbing with need.

“There’s nothing you can do but wait it out,” Liv said grimly. “I’m afraid you’re in for a rough time, hon. I’m sorry.”

“We need to get her back to her suite,” Lissa said. “Otherwise, if she comes in contact with any unmated Kindred males…”

“You’re right!” Olivia nodded. “She’s got to go back and lock herself in for at least twenty-four hours.”

“A whole day?” Nina groaned. “Are you serious? That’s how long it takes this stuff to wear off?”

“Afraid so.” Liv nodded and shifted again. “Oh my God, I’m going crazy over here. I have got to find Baird.”

“But someone has to take Nina back to her suite,” Lissa objected. “She still doesn’t know her way around the Mother Ship yet.”

“I do,” Maggie volunteered. “I’ll take her back.” She looked at Nina apologetically. “It’s the least I can do since this whole mess is my fault.”

“Great—you girls get going.” Olivia was already out of her seat, followed by Lissa.

“I’m sorry.” Lissa pressed Nina’s hand briefly. “Really sorry, Nina but I have to go.”

“That’s all right—I need to go too,” Nina said through gritted teeth. The tingling and tenderness had been joined by an empty sensation—the feeling that she needed to be filled. If I can just get back to my suite maybe I can take care of this myself, she thought desperately. Right—if she could resist the urge to rip of her clothes and touch herself before she got there. “Come on,” she told Maggie, rising unsteadily to her feet. “Let’s get out of here—show me the way back to my place. I, uh, need to be alone. Now.”

* * * * *

“I’m telling you—just go talk to her,” Saber said for the fifth time. “She’s probably down by the sacred grove. Lissa told me they were having the after joining celebration there.”

“I don’t want to just burst in on her,” Reddix objected. “What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if she hates me now?”

“Well, she’ll never get over it until you explain,” Saber said patiently. “In fact—wait…” His eyes got a far-away look, and he nodded and then said, “All right—I’ll be right there.” Frowning, he looked back at Saber. “That was Lissa calling on our link—she’s back in our suite, and she needs me to come at once.”

“What about Nina? Did she say where she was?”

Saber concentrated again for a moment. “She says she’s in the visitor’s wing in Suite B 1245. Go knock on her door and make your apologies. See what happens.”

“What’s going to happen is Nina slapping my face and kicking me out,” Reddix growled. But he knew he needed to talk to her and apologize. If she wanted to hit him, it would only be exactly what he deserved. Might as well go and take my punishment.

He made his way up to the visitor’s wing and walked down the corridor scanning for B 1245. Once he found it he had to stand in front of it for a full minute before he could make himself knock. Then, taking a deep breath, he rapped his knuckles against the thick metal sheet.

There was no answer, but he could hear someone stirring inside. He knocked again and heard a shuffling sound, as though someone was trying to make their way to the door.

“Who is it?” Her voice was muffled by the metal door, but he could tell it was her.

“Nina?” he called. “It’s me—Reddix. Are you all right?”

There was a long pause as though she was trying to decide if she should open the door or not.

“Nina, please, I just want to talk.”

“I don’t know.” She sounded hesitant. “I don’t think this is a good time.”

Reddix leaned forward, his senses completely attuned to her. He could hear the sound of her shifting from foot to foot just inside the doorway, and then he began to smell something to. A warm, familiar, feminine scent he would know anywhere—the scent of her desire. It drifted up from under the tiny crack at the bottom of the door and assaulted his nose, making him instantly hard. What the hell was going on in there? Was she with another male? Why else would she smell like that?

A possessive anger flashed through him. She was his, damn it! If any other male dared to so much as lay a finger on her he would die…slowly.

“Nina!” he roared, banging on the metal door with the flat of his hand. “Damnit, open up—now.”

“All right, all right.” The door slid open, and she stood there, wearing a thin silky black robe which she’d wrapped tightly around herself. To Reddix, it didn’t look like she had anything on under it. He took a step toward her, and her scent got even stronger—heat, need, desire—it drove him crazy. Especially when he thought that it might be directed at another male.

“All right, where is he?” he growled, stalking around her and looking into the empty suite. “Where the hell is the bastard? I’ll fucking kill him for touching you, I swear.”

“What are you talking about?” Nina looked at him like he was crazy as he made a quick sweep of the suite. But she was the only one there—in fact, Reddix didn’t even smell even a trace of another male. So what the hell was going on? Her scent said she was deep in need and ready to be bonded. Why would she smell like that if she was just spending time alone in her suite?

Reddix turned to face her. “What’s going on?” he demanded.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she snapped back. “First you use me and dump me, then you come charging in here, talking like a lunatic. What the hell are you doing here, anyway?”

“I came to talk to you,” Reddix muttered, frowning.

He had more to say, but now that he was looking at her, the words seemed to dry up. He had never seen her so beautiful—so desirable. Her cheeks were flushed, and her long dark hair was a tousled mane around her face. Under the thin black robe, he could see the sharp points of her nipples and the full curves of her breasts and hips. And of course there was her scent—Goddess, she smelled so fucking hot. That sweet aroma assaulting his senses made it hard to think.

“I mean…I need to explain,” he added, haltingly.

“Explain what? That you’re a jerk?” Nina said, putting a hand on her hip. “Thanks but I already figured that out for myself.”

“No, not that. I mean, I am a jerk—if that word means what I think it means,” he growled. “I’m an inconsiderate bastard, and I know I hurt you, but I had a reason—a good reason for doing what I did.”

“Is that so?” Nina had her arms crossed tightly under her breasts and was shifting from foot to foot. She had a look on her face that was almost pain. Did it hurt her that badly just to be near him?

“Yeah, that’s so. Do you want to hear it?”

“No.” Nina shook her head. “In fact, I think it’s time for you to go now. I can’t…can’t talk to you anymore.”

“Why not?” Reddix demanded, taking a step toward her.

“B-because.” She took a step back. “It’s just…not a good time. I need…need to be alone.”

“From the way you smell, that’s the last thing you need, sweetheart.” Reddix took another step in her direction, drawn by her hot scent like a magnet. His shaft was so hard it hurt—she looked fucking delicious in that thin little robe.

“What…what are you talking about?” Nina demanded, backing up again. “What do you mean I smell? I just took a shower not too long ago.”

“Got nothing to do with that,” Reddix told her, coming forward again. His fingers were itching to touch her, he flexed his hands into fists at his sides, trying to ignore the carnal urges her scent brought out in him.

“What does it have to do with then?” Her voice was high and breathless. She had backed up until the backs of her knees were against the side of the couch. The animalistic lust her scent unleashed inside him roared. She had no place else to go—he had her cornered.

“It has to do with how hot you smell right now, sweetheart,” he growled. “Your scent says you’re going into fucking heat or something.”

“I…no. I don’t know…” She looked down, away from him. Reddix felt like he was going crazy. He needed to know what was happening here. Needed to understand why her scent was so hot before he lost control completely and just took her.

“Yes, you do know. I can tell you know something.” He lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Tell me, Nina. What the hell is going on with you?”

“I…I ate a piece of bonding fruit cake by mistake, all right?” she flared, her cheeks pink with embarrassment. “It was Maggie’s fault—she mixed up the signs on the cake layers. It was supposed to be for married couples only because apparently bonding fruit makes you really…uh…” She shook her head, her cheeks getting even pinker. “Anyway, I came back to my suite to try and wait it out. They say the effects should pass in about twenty-four hours.”

“Bonding fruit?” Reddix raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I’ve heard of that—the Twin Kindred use it. Isn’t it supposed to be dangerous if you eat too much of it?” He narrowed his eyes at Nina. “How much did you eat?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. Lauren said it was really concentrated after she cooked the fruit down to make the filling for the cake. I ate a whole piece of the cake so…a lot, I guess.”

He frowned. “And you thought you could just wait it out? Too much of that stuff can be dangerous if you don’t have a way to get it out of your system, Nina.”

“Well, what else was I supposed to do?” she demanded. “It’s not like I have anyone to help me take the edge off. I’m all alone up here—unless I want to go find some strange Kindred I’ve never even seen before and ask for help.”

The very thought that she would go to another male made him see red with rage.

“You stay away from other males,” he growled, pulling her close. “You’re fucking mine. You hear me, Nina? Mine.”

“The hell I am!” She pushed away from him and nearly lost her balance. Only grabbing the arm of the couch saved her. “I don’t belong to you,” she snapped. “Not after the way you treated me. I…you…” Her eyes got wide. “Oh…I feel so…so strange.”

“Nina? Are you all right?” Concern cut through the red haze of lust and rage that surrounded him. Her cheeks were flushed, and her chest was heaving. She looked close to having some kind of a meltdown.

“No, all right?” She put a hand to her chest. “My heart is racing, and I can’t seem to catch…catch my breath. I feel like…like I’m going into…into overload somehow.” She looked up at him, her eyes wide with fright. “What’s happening to me?”

He took her by the shoulders and looked into her face anxiously, noting her dilated pupils and rapid breathing.

“That damn bonding fruit. You need to take the edge off—now.”

“I tried,” Nina moaned. “What do you think I’ve been doing ever since I got up here? Until you knocked on the door I was…was touching myself nonstop.” Her cheeks were red with embarrassment, but she went on anyway. “I must have come fifteen times, but it didn’t help—nothing helps.”

“That’s because you need a male to help you—only a male’s essence can ease the pain.” Reddix made a sudden decision. Nina might hate him for it later, but he had to do it—had to help her. He could stand here and watch her have some kind of attack when he could keep her from it. “Lay down,” he commanded, pushing her closer to the couch.

“What?” Nina protested, resisting him. “Why?”

“Because if you don’t take the edge off soon you’re going to have serious problems. So I’m going to help you. Now lay back on the couch and spread your legs for me.”

“I…no.” She frowned at him fiercely. “You’re an ass and a jerk. You used me and dumped me. I do not need your help.”

“I may be all those things,” Reddix growled. “But right now you do need me. Now lie on the couch and spread your legs, Nina. Or do I have to make you?”

She put a hand to her neck. “You wouldn’t.”

“To keep you from danger? I sure as hell would.” Seeing the fear in her eyes, he tried his best to make his voice softer, more gentle. “It’s all right, Nina,” he murmured. “I’m not going to fuck you. Just going to help you take the edge off by tasting you some. Just need to lick your little pussy until you come—that should help.”

Her breath hitched in her throat, her pupils dilated with lust and need, but still, she lifted her chin defiantly. “What if…what if I don’t want you to?”

Reddix was out of patience.

“Too fucking bad.” He pushed her gently but firmly back until she was sitting on the couch. Then he put his hands on her shoulders and pressed her down. “Open your robe. Let me see how bad it is,” he demanded.

At first she clutched the robe even tighter around her. Then, biting her lip, she finally complied. Spreading the thin black robe, she bared her body for him.

Reddix drew in a deep breath as he took her in—her full thrusting breast with their tight dark pink nipples, her curving waist and full hips. And there, between her legs…

“Spread them,” he demanded hoarsely. “Spread your legs for me, Nina.” He had his hands on her knees, but he didn’t want to force her. He wanted her to show herself because he asked, not because he made her. “Come on,” he said again, softly. “Open yourself to me.”

“Fine,” she whispered at last. Her thighs parted, and Reddix had to bite back a groan. Her little pussy was freshly shaved, the plump, naked lips swollen with obvious need. The outer lips had parted showing a glimpse of her slippery folds and the pink pearl of her clit. And her entire pussy was slick and wet with honey. Her thighs were shiny with it too. Her scent was so strong and sweet he thought he might come just from smelling her.

“Gods, sweetheart,” he groaned, sinking to his knees before her. “Just look at you—you need it fucking bad.”

“I…I do,” Nina admitted in a strained whisper. “It hurts, Reddix. Hurts so much. But I’m sensitive too—even my own fingers seem too rough.”

“Then I won’t use my fingers,” he growled softly. He looked up at her briefly. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll get you through this. We can talk afterward.”

Then he lowered his head and pressed a hot, gentle kiss right between her thighs.

Chapter Thirty-five

Nina moaned and arched her back the minute his lips came in contact with her pussy. She couldn’t help it—though her mind wanted to hold out and have nothing to do with Reddix after the way he had hurt her, her body had overruled it. She was in pain—in need—in a way she’d never felt before. She had been horny on occasion—who hadn’t? But she’d never been in actual pain from an excess of desire. It felt like her skin was too tight, like she was going to die or explode if something didn’t happen soon. And something was happening—Reddix was happening to her.

He kissed her softly at first, as though gauging how much she could take, how sensitive she was. Though her own fingers had seemed too much to bear just minutes before he knocked on her door, his mouth on her felt just right. She moaned breathlessly and tried to hold still as he pressed deeper, nuzzling between her outer pussy lips to get to her slick inner folds, swollen with desire.

The sweet, deep kiss seemed to go on forever, his hot mouth moving gently over her open pussy until Nina thought she might go crazy. At last Reddix looked up.

“All right, sweetheart?” His silver eyes were half-lidded with lust, and his lips were already shiny with her juices. “Not hurting you, am I?”

“N-no,” Nina stuttered breathlessly. “Feels…good. Right.” She didn’t want to admit it, but she couldn’t help it—it was the truth. He’d barely started, and already her body was calming down and opening up. She no longer felt quite so panicked—it was as though part of her knew on a very visceral level that she would be all right, now that he was here.

“Good.” He held her eyes with his for a minute. “Because I’m about to lick you now. Gonna spread your sweet pussy wide open and lick you long and hard until you come. Because that’s what you need, Nina—you need to come with my tongue in you. Come all over my face while I eat your hot little cunt. You understand?”

“I…yes,” she nearly moaned as her body jumped into overdrive again. God, she was going crazy. Just because she no longer felt like she was going into cardiac arrest didn’t mean the desire was any less—if anything it was more. But it was focused now—focused on the man between her thighs. “Please,” she begged brokenly. “Please, I need…need…”

“It’s all right, sweetheart,” he growled softly. “Just relax and don’t worry. I’m going to give it to you. As much as you need and more.”

Then he spread her outer pussy lips wide with his thumbs and bent down to give her a long, hot lick, dragging the flat of his tongue from the bottom of her entrance all the way up to the top of her slit.

Nina cried out and clenched her hands into fists at her sides. But it wasn’t enough—she needed something to hold onto. Reaching down blindly, she found his head and curled her fingers into his long, blue-black hair. Reddix growled deep in his throat and licked her again, clearly enjoying the feel of her hands on him. Encouraged, Nina tugged harder, pressing her pelvis up to meet him, spreading her thighs even wider to give him better access.

He responded by sucking her clit into his mouth and lashing it with his tongue. Suddenly, it was too much. Nina gasped and stiffened—the orgasm hitting her like an oncoming train. Her whole body trembled, and she actually saw stars exploding before her eyes for a moment.

“Oh!” she cried as sparks of pleasure danced along her nerves. Her nipples tightened into painful little peaks at the tips of her breasts, and her whole body went rigid for a moment. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, Reddix lifted his head.

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he growled hoarsely. “Come for me. Come all over my face.” Then he bent his head and began licking her again, licking and sucking and lashing the engorged button of her clit until Nina felt like her entire body was being electrocuted with pleasure.

“Reddix,” she gasped, tugging at his hair and pressing her pussy up shamelessly to grind against his face. “Oh God please…please don’t stop! Don’t stop.”

He growled in approval and licked even harder. Reaching under her ass, he scooped her up, tilting her pelvis as though it was a bowl of water, and he was dying for a drink. His tongue seemed to be everywhere, lapping, caressing, flickering over her most tender parts until Nina felt like she was going to go crazy.

She kept her sanity, but she came again. And again and again. So many times she lost count. Finally, she had to push him away.

“I can’t,” she gasped, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. “No more.”

“All right, sweetheart. You feel better now?” He sat back and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Yes…and no.” Nina sat up shakily and somehow managed to draw the black robe around her. “I can’t…I’m not…” She shook her head. “Not over it yet, but I need a break. I can’t keep going like this forever.”

“I can.” His eyes flashed silver with lust. “I can eat your pussy all night if that’s what you need, sweetheart.”

It wasn’t what Nina needed—not exactly—but she couldn’t admit that. Couldn’t admit or explain the deep emptiness inside her, the growing ache and need to be filled. I’ll be fine, she told herself sternly. I’ve already let him in enough. Not going to go any further.

“Let’s talk,” she said, crossing her legs and wincing at how sensitive she was—he had nearly licked her raw. Not that she hadn’t begged for it. Nina pushed the embarrassing thought away. “You said you had something to tell me,” she said. “The reason why you acted like such a jerk.”

He sighed and sat on the couch beside her. “Yeah, I do. I’ll tell you, but I want you in my lap while we talk.” He patted his legs. “Come here.”

“What? No!” Nina exclaimed. “We’ve gone far enough. I don’t think…”

“Fuck thinking,” he growled. “I want you in my lap so I can keep an eye on you and make sure you’re over the worst of it. You scared the hell out of me just now. If I hadn’t gone down on you when I did we might be in the med center instead of sitting on the couch talking. Now come here, Nina.”

Reluctantly, she scooted over to sit beside him. Reddix promptly scooped her up and situated her so that she was sitting sideways on his lap with her legs on the couch.

“That’s better,” he said, frowning. “Now I can see your face while we talk and touch you if you start having problems again.”

“I’ll be fine,” she protested, shifting uncomfortably. She could feel the hard ridge of his cock under her ass, rubbing against her through his black flight trousers. She tried to cross her legs, but that only made it worse as the hard, hot shaft pressed against her sensitive pussy.

“Yeah, you seem fine,” he said dryly. “Stop shifting around so much—this is hard enough as it is.”

No pun intended, she thought, feeling a hysterical giggle rise in her throat. She swallowed it back down and forced herself to relax.

“Okay, fine—so talk. What reason can you possibly give me for being such an ass back on Tarsia?”

He sighed deeply. “First of all you need to know I’m not here to get back with you or try to start a life together.”

“What? Then why even bother coming, you jerk!” She tried to get off his lap, but he held her down, his hands firmly around her waist until she stopped struggling.

“Sit still, damn it! I’m here because I owe you an explanation.”

“Fine.” Nina was fuming now, her arms crossed over her chest. “Explain.”

“I’ll try…” He shook his head and ran a hand over his face. “Okay—to start with, I need you to know I wasn’t just using you to get my RTS fixed. I had the original agreement with the witch—the one I made with her before I came to kidnap you in the first place—but I had no other contact with her after that. I didn’t know she was going to lure you into the swamp. I wouldn’t have had any idea where you went at all if the lthss she put on my wrist hadn’t started shrinking.” He shook his head. “When I saw that, and I knew she had you…I can’t even describe how I felt. I was fucking crazy, Nina. So worried she would hurt you…kill you…” His deep voice grew hoarse, and he cleared his throat. “I didn’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. Especially when it was all my fault.”

Nina nodded thoughtfully. Against her will, his words were making an impact on her. He didn’t seem to be trying to shift the blame for anything—he was taking it all on himself, admitting he was the cause of what had happened.

“All right,” she said at last. “But that still doesn’t tell me why you let me leave thinking you just used me and threw me away like a broken toy you didn’t want anymore.”

“Did I break you?” he murmured roughly, cupping her cheek. “Did I, sweetheart? Because it damn near broke me to watch you fly away. To see that ship disappear into the sky and know you were in it and you weren’t coming back…”

“I wasn’t coming back because you sent me away,” she reminded him tartly.

He sighed deeply. “Yeah, I sent you away—but for your own good.”

“What?” Nina frowned at him. “How could breaking my heart be for my own good? How can you possibly justify—”

“I sent you away because I can’t give you what you need, okay?” A look of pure frustration crossed his face. “Because I don’t have a Touch Sense—or not one that works properly, anyway.”

“What even is that?” Nina demanded. “The witch talked about it some, but I never really understood…”

“It’s an extra sense all Touch Kindred have—or most of them, anyway.” He grimaced. “It gives a male of my kind the ability to touch his female with his mind. He can send whisper-fingers to stroke her, to pleasure her…to penetrate her, without ever physically touching her at all.”

Nina frowned. “And…you can’t do that?”

Reddix sighed. “No. I can’t.”

She looked at him impatiently. “And that’s why you broke up with me? Because you can’t send creepy mind fingers through the air and touch me when you’re across the room or something? That’s it?”

“You don’t understand.” His deep voice was thick with frustration. “A male has to have a working Touch Sense in order to give his female the Deep Touch—that is, penetrating her body and her mind at the same time. And without the Deep Touch bonding cannot occur.”

Nina shook her head. “I still think it’s a crappy excuse.”

“That’s because you still don’t understand. Look…you’ve been around the other Kindred wives for a while now. Have you seen how they can communicate with their males mentally? How in sync the bonded couples are?”

“Well…” Nina thought of all the times when Liv or Sophie or Kat or Lauren or Lissa had gotten a faraway look on their faces that meant they were talking mentally to their men. “I guess so,” she said at last.

“That wouldn’t be possible for the two of us,” Reddix explained patiently. “Without a working Touch Sense, I can’t give you the Deep Touch or bond you to me. And without a bond, our relationship would be doomed to failure.”

Nina put a hand on her hip and glared at him. “So it’s better just to not try at all? Is that it?” she demanded. “Better to break my heart and send me off thinking you’re a jerk who doesn’t give a damn about me because you’re afraid our relationship would crash and burn?”

“I know it would crash and burn,” he growled. “I’m just trying to save you the pain.”

“What if I don’t want to be saved?” Nina demanded. “What if I’d rather take my chances?”

He groaned with obvious frustration. “See? This is why I shouldn’t have come. I told Saber you’d react like this.”

“You’re damn right I am.” Nina was so angry she could hardly see straight. “You talk about saving me pain, but I think you’re trying to save yourself. You’re just every other guy—you’re afraid to commit.”

“That’s not true,” he growled. “You don’t know how much I want to commit to you—to share a life with you—to make you mine permanently. But I can’t Nina—I’ll only hurt you. It’s exactly like what the witch showed me—I’d just make you miserable.”

“The witch!” Nina shifted in his lap excitedly, making him groan. “I knew it had something to do with her. Was it that potion she gave you? What were the ‘side effects’ she talked about?”

Reddix squeezed his eyes shut briefly and pinched the bridge of his nose, as though trying to drive back a headache.

“She showed me what our life would be like without a bond. What would happen if I tried to make you mine and couldn’t. She…damn it, she showed you leaving me.”

“And you believed her?” Nina felt like crying. “You believed a witch over me? You didn’t even trust me enough to give me the benefit of the doubt?”

“It’s not like that,” he protested. “What she showed me—it had the ring of truth to it. She was right, we can’t make a life together if we can’t bond. If I can’t give you the Deep Touch, I’d be better off letting you go to find…” He gritted his teeth as though the words hurt to say. “To find somebody else.”

“And that’s how you really feel?” Nina pushed off his lap, and this time he let her go. “You’re ready to give up on us just because you can’t touch me with your mind?”

“I’m afraid so.” He looked miserable but determined. “I can’t ruin your life any more than I already have. I care about you too much, Nina—I have to let you go.”

“What if…what if I don’t want to be let go?” she whispered. She put her arms around herself, hugging herself protectively. It felt like if she didn’t hold on to something she would fall apart. Was he really sitting there telling her it was over—all over between them—before they had even started? Was he really going to just get up and leave her there and never come back?

Apparently so.

“Nina…” He got off the couch and put out a hand to her, but Nina ducked him and stepped away.

“No.” Her voice trembled, but her resolve was firm. “No, get away from me. If you’re too much of a coward to even try to make things work then just leave.” She nodded at the door. “Just…go.”

“I don’t want to,” he said roughly, his voice harsh with emotion. “Goddess, Nina, you don’t know—”

“I know enough,” she interrupted, squeezing herself even tighter. God, what was wrong with her? She felt so empty inside—like she was falling apart.

“But the bonding fruit—”

“I’m fine now. You helped me enough,” she lied. “I feel perfectly well—physically anyway. So just go.”

He looked at her for a long moment, then nodded slowly. “All right. If that’s the way you want it, I’ll leave.”

“It is,” Nina said tightly. She jerked her head at the door. “Get out. Now.”

“I’m going.” He walked to the door and turned to face her. “I’m sorry, Nina. For everything.”

“It’s too late for ‘sorry.’” She felt like she was going to cry, and she didn’t want him to see her do it.

Worse than that, she felt wrong inside—strange—empty. She told herself it was because he was walking out of her life and never coming back, but the feeling of wrongness grew and grew. Her nipples were getting tight and irritated again, and her pussy felt swollen and hot, as though he hadn’t just made her come multiple times. Nina crossed her legs grimly, determined to wait the weird feelings out. There was no way in hell she was asking him for help again.

Reddix had his hand on the door, about to leave, but then she saw his nose twitch. He inhaled deeply, as though smelling something and turned to look at her.

“Are you all right?”

“Of course I’m not all right,” she snapped, pressing her thighs tightly together. “You’re leaving. And since you’re determined to leave, could you please just go?”

“Fine. But—”

“Go!” She opened the door for him and pointed out into the hallway. Damn it, he had to leave soon. She was feeling weirder by the second. It wasn’t a feeling of her heart beating too hard and fast this time—it was different. A weird emptiness that made her feel faint—a hunger that seemed to devour her from the inside out.

“Goodbye,” Reddix muttered at last. He stepped out the door, and Nina closed it behind him—not a moment too soon. She could feel the emptiness inside consuming her. She opened her robe and looked down at herself, halfway expecting to see a black hole in the middle of her chest. It felt like something was eating her up from within. Like she was…was…

“Falling,” Nina whispered to herself.

She crumpled to the floor in a heap, her head spinning. I think I am having an allergic reaction to the bonding fruit after all, she thought numbly. It shouldn’t be like this, should it? I shouldn’t be feeling this way—it’s too extreme. Too much. Vaguely she knew she needed to get help, needed to call someone to take her to the med center Reddix had talked about. But she couldn’t summon the strength to get off the floor.

Slowly her eyes closed…

* * * * *

Reddix heard her hit the floor from the other side of the sliding metal door.

“Nina?” he said, panic mounting in his chest. “Nina?” He pounded on the metal door panel urgently. Damn it, he should have known the bonding fruit she’d ingested hadn’t run its course, that the small help he’d provided wasn’t enough to get it out of her system.

Turning, he put his shoulder to the door and pressed against it. The door wasn’t set to recognize him and wasn’t meant to open from the outside when it was shut. But though it was shut, it wasn’t locked. Reddix was able to put enough pressure on it to force it open a crack. And once he had a crack he could work his fingers into, he was able to pry the metal panel the rest of the way open.

His worst fears were realized the moment the door finally slid aside. Nina was lying there in a heap, her long dark hair like a shroud across her face. Reddix wasn’t sure if she was breathing or not.

Leaning down, he scooped her off the floor. He was about to carry her straight to the med center when she stirred in his arms and moaned. Thank the Goddess! He carried her into the bedroom instead. Laying her on the bed, he looked around for a Think-me—all of the guest suites on the Mother Ship were equipped with one, and this was no exception. He found it lying on a low table beside the bed and quickly fitted the thin silver wire over his head.

“Saber,” he sent fiercely. “I’m sorry to bother you, Brother, but I need help!”

“What is it?” Saber’s mental voice was unusually abrupt. “I can talk but not for long. I’m in…the middle of something.”

“I understand, I’ll be brief. I went to see Nina, but she’s having a problem. She says she ate some cake at the joining ceremony that had bonding fruit in it. I helped her, uh, take the edge off once, but now she’s worse than ever. In fact, she’s fainted, and she’s barely fucking breathing. Where’s the nearest med center on this end of the ship?

Saber’s response was immediate. “Don’t take her to the med center—they can’t help her there. Several females who ate the cake are having similar problems, including Lissa and Olivia. We’ve already spoken to Sylvan about it, and he says the fruit was dangerously concentrated.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” Reddix sent with frustration.

“You know what to do. You know the only way to neutralize bonding fruit—she needs your essence—your seed— inside her. She needs you to make love to her,” Saber sent back.

“I can’t do that! I told you—she’s barely conscious. I can’t take her without permission—I won’t fucking rape her,” Reddix protested.

“Do your best to wake her up and explain the situation,” Saber directed. “Make her understand so you can give her what she needs. Look, Brother, I have to go—Lissa needs me again.”

“But—” Reddix began, but Saber had already broken the connection.

Reddix turned back to the bed. Goddess damn it, what was he going to do?

I have to wake her up, he thought, trying to push down the panic that tried to rise inside him. Have to make her understand.

“Nina?” he murmured, stroking her cheek. “Listen, I know you hate me now, but you need to wake up. Need to let me help you.”

“Hmm?” Her eyelids fluttered open at last, and she looked up at him, her deep blue eyes filled with confusion. “What happened?” she whispered. “I feel so strange…so empty. I ache inside.”

He frowned. “That’s because you are, and you need to be filled.”

“Filled?” She frowned, looking more awake. “What…what do you mean?”

Reddix sighed in frustration. “Exactly what it sounds like. I talked to Saber, and you’re not the only one having trouble from that damn bonding fruit cake—the stuff was fucking lethal. You need the antidote.”

Nina frowned and tried to sit up. Reddix helped her, supporting her head gently with his arm. “What are you saying?” she asked, shaking her head. “Are you saying you need to…”

He clenched his jaw. “This is going to sound bad—really bad—but I swear to you it’s true.” He took a deep breath. “I need to make love to you, Nina. In order to neutralize the bonding fruit, I need to make love to you and fill you with my cum.”

* * * * *

Nina opened her mouth to refuse at once, but just then another pang of emptiness hit her. She moaned and put a hand between her thighs. Before she’d fainted, the hunger had been throughout her body—like a black hole sucking in her chest. Now it was concentrated in one spot—the place between her legs. Her pussy felt hot to touch—swollen and sensitive with need. And this time she sensed his tongue wasn’t what she needed. It wouldn’t be enough.

“I don’t…don’t understand,” she whispered.

“The bonding fruit was more concentrated than you thought—to fucking toxic levels,” Reddix explained roughly. “Saber says that Sylvan—one of the ship’s doctors—told him this is the only way to neutralize it.”

“So you have to…”

“Yeah.” He had the grace to look away. “I don’t blame you if you don’t want to hear that. It sounds like bullshit, I know.”

Nina bit her lip. “Can’t you just…help me like you did before?”

“I’d go down on you all night if I thought it would help,” Reddix growled softly. “But that’s not what you need. There isn’t enough of my essence in my saliva to help. It has to be seed—cum. Deep inside you where you’re feeling empty.”

“I…” Nina could feel her cheeks getting red. “I don’t know…”

“Here.” He pushed the Think-me at her. “Call someone. Bespeak…I don’t know, try Sylvan. He doesn’t know you, but he’s a physician—I’m sure he’ll take your call. Ask him—he’ll tell you I’m not just making excuses.”

“No,” Nina pushed the thin silver wire away. “I…I believe you. I just…”

“Just what?” He looked at her steadily.

“I guess I just wonder why you care. If you’re leaving anyway…”

“I’m not leaving because I want to.” His voice broke for a moment, and he had to clear his throat. “Goddess damn it, Nina—I care about you. Care so fucking much it’s like a fist in my gut. Of course I want to help you—to save you—if I can.”

Nina took a deep breath. “So we’ll have sex…” She wasn’t about to say ‘make love’ not when it was obviously going to be a one-time thing purely out of necessity. “We’ll have sex,” she continued. “But just to neutralize the bonding fruit. The same way we, uh, touched each other in order to feed the Hurkon collar when you couldn’t get it off.”

He nodded. “Exactly.”

“And then we’ll go our separate ways, and that will be it?” Nina demanded. “Because I need to know right up front if this is going to change anything.”

“I wish it would but no…” He looked regretful. “I can’t lie to you, Nina. I can make love to you, but I can’t bond you to me. I wish to the Goddess I could.”

“All right.” Nina took a deep breath. “At least we know where we stand. We—ah! ” The aching emptiness stabbed at her again, attacking from the inside out as the bonding fruit she had ingested demanded she pay the price.

“Nina?” Reddix was looking at her anxiously. “Are you all right?”

“No.” Her whole body was trembling, and her nipples were so tight they hurt. Her pussy was dripping with her juices, begging to be filled. “No,” she said again. “I…if we’re going to do this, we need to just…just do it.”

“All right.” He cupped her cheek and pulled her down.

“What are you doing?” Nina asked, ducking away just before his mouth met hers.

“Kissing you.”

“I don’t want to kiss.” Nina looked away. “That’s not what I need, and it’s too…too personal.”

“I see. No foreplay, no sweet talk.” His voice was flat. “You just want to get it over? Is that it?”

“Yes. That’s about it,” she said tightly.

“Fine.”

Reaching between them with quick, angry motions he unfastened his black flight trousers, letting the long, hard shaft of his cock loose between them.

At the sight of him, Nina had another spasm of emptiness. God, he was so long and hard and thick, and she needed him—her entire body was insisting that she had to have him inside her now. But no matter how her body demanded it, she wasn’t ready quite yet.

“Come here.” Reddix was already opening her robe and pulling her into his lap. But again, Nina resisted.

“No,” she said. “I don’t want it like this. Not face to face.”

“Too personal again?” he growled.

“Exactly.” She bit her lip and looked away. “Way too personal.”

“Fine.” He threw up his hands and sat back, his broad shoulders against the headboard. “Show me then. How do you want it? How can I service you, sweetheart?”

Nina could tell that the sarcasm in his deep voice was just there to cover the pain. She was sorry she was hurting him, but she was hurting too—not just the physical ache from the bonding fruit demanding she find satisfaction. No, she also had the emotional anguish of knowing this was the one and only time she would ever get to be with the man she loved. She knew she ought to savor this moment—to make the most of it. But it hurt too much. She just wanted to get it over with.

“Like this,” she said, moving to the middle of the bed. She shed her robe and got on her hands and knees. Her pussy throbbed again, begging to be filled. Nina bit her lip and forced herself to go slowly, to take her time. Taking a deep breath, she spread her thighs, opening herself to him—offering herself for the one and only time.

Behind her she heard Reddix draw in a ragged breath.

“Gods, Nina, you’re so beautiful,” he said hoarsely. “So fucking gorgeous when you open yourself for me.”

“Take me,” Nina whispered, bowing her head. “Please, Reddix—do it now. I…I need you to.” As she spoke she had another sharp stab of need and a low moan broke from her lips. “Please,” she gasped. “I can’t…can’t stand it much longer.”

“It’s all right.” Reddix got into position behind her, caressing her bare back and hips in long, slow strokes. “Everything is going to be all right.”

Nina opened her mouth to say that nothing would ever be all right again, and then she felt the broad head of his cock sliding slowly over her slippery, open folds. He bumped gently over her clit, making her bite back a gasp, and then he was exactly where she needed him, lodged just in her entrance.

“God,” she moaned softly as she felt him nudge gently into her until the thick head was all the way inside her pussy.

“Easy, sweetheart. You’re tight, and I’m not exactly small. Let’s just take it easy.” He was taking things slowly, making sure not to hurt her, but that wasn’t what she wanted right now. Wasn’t what she needed.

“Please,” she moaned. “Please, Reddix—need you in me now. Need you in me hard.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he objected, nudging a little deeper.

Nina was beginning to feel almost wild. “I don’t care about that,” she gasped. “I just need you in me. All of you.”

Bracing on her hands and knees, she pressed back, arching her pelvis to give him easier access as she impaled herself on his thick shaft. Try as she might, though, she couldn’t get him all the way in her, couldn’t feel the thick head of his cock nudging the end of her channel where she so desperately needed him to be. She gave a little cry of frustration and tried again, only to feel herself stopped when his big hands clamped down on her hips.

“Slowly,” he ground out, holding her tight, not letting her move. “I’ll fuck you as deep as you need me to, sweetheart, but we need to go slow at first so I can be sure I’m not hurting you.”

“You won’t hurt me!” she cried, although she wasn’t entirely sure if he would or not. She could feel his thick shaft stretching her pussy to the limit and beyond, but she didn’t care—she just wanted all of him in her. Wanted to feel him filling her up completely.

“Your Goddess damned right, I won’t,” he growled. “Because we’re taking it slow.”

Keeping a firm grip on her hips, he pulled back until he was almost all the way out of her pussy. Nina nearly cried with frustration—what was he doing? Where was he going? She needed him so much, so badly…

“Get ready,” Reddix murmured behind her, and she felt his big hands tighten on her until she was sure she would have ten finger-shaped bruises the next day. “Get ready, Nina—going to fuck you now. Long and hard and slow.”

Then he pushed back into her, filling her pussy completely in one seemingly endless thrust.

Both of them groaned when he finally bottomed out inside her. Nina shivered all over as she felt the broad tip of his cock kiss the mouth of her womb. God, in her, he was all the way in her now—exactly where she needed him to be.

Finally. The thought was frantic—nearly incoherent.. Oh, God, finally.

“Goddess, you’re tight,” he groaned, stroking her hips. “Are you ready now?”

“Do it,” Nina gasped out. “God, Reddix, please—I need this so badly. Please, just do it.”

“Do what?” he growled softly as he pulled almost all the way out of her and slammed home again, this time a little more forcefully. “Tell me, Nina—beg for it. I want to hear you say it.”

“Fuck me,” she moaned, writhing in his grasp, trying to meet the rhythm he was setting. “Reddix, please—just fuck me.”

“My pleasure, sweetheart.” His deep voice was thick with lust and need, and Nina swore she could feel his shaft getting even bigger within her. “My pleasure and I’m going to make damn sure it’s yours too.”

With that, he pulled back again and thrust into her again…and again and again, setting a slow, steady, hard rhythm that seemed designed to drive her wild.

Nina wanted to meet him, wanted to back against him and join the primal rhythm, but he wouldn’t let her. His big hands on her hips stayed steady, holding her firmly in place, forcing her to be still and submit to his fucking.

Over and over he thrust into her, filling her to the limit and beyond. After a while she gave up and surrendered. Moaning, she hung her head which raised her ass higher into the air, offering him better access, opening herself even more.

“That’s right, Nina,” he growled. “Just open yourself and take it. Just open your sweet little pussy and let me fuck you—fuck you and fill you up with my cum.”

Nina moaned and submitted completely as the thick club of his cock pierced her over and over, battering against the mouth of her womb as though demanding entrance. She couldn’t think anymore—couldn’t breathe, couldn’t talk. All she could do was spread her legs and let him in.

All she could do was let him fuck her.

* * * * *

Reddix knew he should try to keep it impersonal. After all, that was what Nina wanted, and he didn’t blame her. She was willing to accept the cure from him, but that was all—she didn’t want the sex between them to be emotional or meaningful. Not when he was just going to turn around and leave the minute it was over and he was sure she was okay.

But he couldn’t help himself—he wanted more. Wanted to look into her eyes while he made love to her. Wanted to see the passion he felt reflected there in those blue and gold-flecked depths.

He wanted Nina to know he loved her, even if he couldn’t say it.

“Goddess, sweetheart,” he groaned, reaching down to cup her cheek. “I can’t stand this anymore. Look at me. Look at me while I’m fucking you.”

Nina shivered all over when he tried to tilt her chin around.

“No.” She turned her head away, refusing him, refusing to make even the most fleeting eye contact.

But Reddix would not be denied—he had to see her. Pulling out of her abruptly, he flipped her over and covered her body with his much larger one.

“Reddix?” Nina looked up at him, wide-eyed as he pinned her to the bed.

“Look at me,” he growled. “This is the only time we get to be together, and I won’t let you make it some faceless, anonymous experience, Goddess damn it.”

“I don’t…I can’t…”

“Yes, you can,” he insisted. “Spread your legs and look at me in the eyes while I fill you again, Nina.”

“Yes…all right.” Her voice was a pained whisper as she parted her thighs. “Just please…don’t stop. I need…need this, Reddix. I need you.”

“I need you too, sweetheart,” he said roughly, feeling like she’d taken his heart in her soft little hand and twisted it. “You don’t know how much.”

“Reddix…” she murmured, biting her lip. “Please…now.”

“Now,” he agreed softly and reaching down, he found her entrance with the head of his cock once more. Taking both her hands, he pinned them securely over her head. Then, holding her eyes with his, he thrust into her again, long and slow and hard and deep…so damn deep.

Nina moaned softly, and he leaned down eagerly and covered her mouth with his, swallowing the sounds of her passion. This time she didn’t try to deny him the right to kiss her. Instead, she surrendered completely, parting her lips for him as she had parted her thighs, giving herself up to him without reservation.

Reddix nearly groaned aloud at her sweet submission. He plundered her mouth with his as he thrust deep and hard into her tight, hot channel. He felt like a greedy bastard, but he couldn’t help himself—he took everything she gave and demanded more. She was everything he’d ever wanted, everything he’d ever needed, and he couldn’t get enough of her.

When the kiss finally broke, he pulled back to see that she was staring up at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

“Nina?” he asked hoarsely, slowing his rhythm. “Are you all right? Am I hurting you?”

“N-no.” Her voice was soft—on the edge of breaking. “I just…I can’t…”

“Just stay with me,” he urged, kissing her swiftly again. “This is not just a cheap fuck, Nina. This is me inside you. The two of us together—the way it ought to be.”

“The way it ought to be,” she echoed softly. And blinking away the tears, she held his gaze unflinchingly.

Reddix couldn’t help thinking how brave she was—how beautiful and perfect and fearless. Gazing into her lovely eyes as he moved within her, he felt something shift inside himself. Some deep, fundamental part of himself he couldn’t name had somehow altered because of her.

Never going to be the same after this, he thought, holding her eyes with his. Never going to be able to go back to my old life on Tarsia and forget this—forget you, sweetheart. You changed me. Changed me forever just by opening to me. Just by giving me what I don’t deserve—yourself.

The words I love you, hovered on his lips, but he swallowed them back. What good would it do to say them now? He would only hurt her more, and what he needed to concentrate on now was healing her, neutralizing the bonding fruit she’d eaten.

Leaning down, he took her lips in a low slow kiss and pumped his cock deep into her sweet, hot pussy. Tight—Gods she was so tight. He was losing himself in her. In her beautiful body, in her gorgeous eyes. It was more than he could stand, and though he wanted to make this last forever, he could feel his orgasm hovering just on the horizon.

“Nina,” he groaned softly. “I’m close, sweetheart. So Goddess damned close…”

“Me too,” she whispered. “Please, Reddix, I want…want to come with you inside me.”

“That’s what I want too.” Moving swiftly, he sat up on his knees without pulling out of her. Hooking his arms under her legs, he pulled her hips up onto his thighs. He put her legs over his shoulders, changing the angle of his approach, opening her up, going even deeper into her tight, sweet cleft.

Nina moaned. “God, I thought you were deep before…”

“You can always go deeper,” Reddix assured her in a low growl. Though he wasn’t as close to her face, he found he liked the new position a lot. Now he could see the way she bit her lip and watch the way her breasts shook with each thrust as he pumped into her pussy. Also, he had much better access to her slippery folds.

Reaching down to the place where they were joined, he slid the pad of his thumb against the side of her swollen pink clit. Nina moaned and jerked under him, her eyes going wide.

“Oh God…God, yes.”

Reddix continued to caress her, using a slow, light, sliding motion to give her just enough stimulation. At the same time, he continued to thrust deep inside her, never letting up or stopping the rhythm he’d started. He wanted to make her come again, was determined to feel her spasming around him before he let himself go inside her.

“Reddix,” she gasped. “Oh, God, Reddix.”

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he told her. “Work for it. You’re so close—work for it hard.”

Nina let out a low wail and clutched at his forearms, digging her nails into his flesh as her body went rigid. Suddenly, he felt her clenching around him, her inner muscles squeezing him like a hot, wet velvet glove. Finally, she was reaching her peak. At the same time he felt the cum building in his balls and knew he was going to fill her very soon.

“Come for me,” he growled, loving the feel of her milking him. “Come for me, sweetheart. Want to feel you come on my cock while I fill you up.” And then he let himself go, let the orgasm take him as hot jets of cum spurted deep inside her, filling her pussy at last.

Nina seemed to like the feeling of him coming inside her. She writhed against him, her fingers tightening on his arms and her breath coming short.

“Yes…Reddix…yes, yes.” She was nearly crying now, her voice breaking on his name as she called for him, begging and moaning, saying…

Saying…

Suddenly, her words came into full focus, and he looked at her more closely.

“What?” he asked hoarsely.

“I love you.” Nina’s eyes were as bright with tears again, her chest heaving and body trembling with the aftershocks of the orgasm he’d given her. “God, Reddix, I can’t help it—I love you.”

Without waiting for a reply, she pushed him off her—out of her—and rolled away. Before he could say anything, she got off the bed and left the room.

Chapter Thirty-six

“Nina?” He followed her into the living area but kept his distance because she so obviously didn’t want to be touched.

She was standing across the room from him, beside the couch. She was still naked with her arms wrapped protectively around herself. He couldn’t help loving the view she presented—her full ass and hips with the tiny dimples just below her waist. He wondered if she had any idea how beautiful she was, how desirable.

He wondered if she’d meant what she said.

“Nina,” he began in a low voice.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” she said, still not facing him. “Shouldn’t have let myself feel it, and I sure as hell shouldn’t have said it. Never in a million years.”

“Yes, you should,” Reddix murmured. “Because I needed to hear it. And because…I want to say it back to you. Want to say I love you too.”

“Don’t.” She half turned her head, meeting his eyes briefly before looking away again. “Don’t. It only makes it worse.”

Reddix felt like his heart was in his throat.

“I’m sorry. So Goddess damned sorry I can’t give you what you need…can’t be the male you need me to be,” he told her in a low, choked voice.

“All I ever wanted was to heal you.” She looked down at the ground, her hair sweeping over her shoulders like a long, dark shawl. “I felt it from that very first dream we shared—felt that you needed something, something maybe only I could give you. Even Mehoo-Jimmy’s message to me made me think it. ‘Heal the bear’—that was what she said.”

“Nina…”

“But in the end, I couldn’t even heal myself.” Her soft voice was bitter and so filled with hurt he ached just to hear it. “Couldn’t stop myself from loving you or heal my heart when leaving you broke it.”

Reddix yearned to take her in his arms, to feel her soft form pressed against his both giving and receiving comfort. He wanted to stroke her hair and whisper in her ear that everything would be all right. That he would love her forever even if they couldn’t do anything about it. But he was frozen in place, paralyzed by the knowledge that she didn’t want his touch, that she didn’t need to be hurt any more than he’d already hurt her.

Still, he wanted to caress her so much, even in a small way. If he could just sweep the curtain of hair away from her face and see her expression.

If he could just touch her…

* * * * *

Nina felt his fingers brushing feather-light against her temple, stroking the hair from her face and sliding gently down her throat.

“Don’t,” she whispered, not looking at him. “Don’t do that—don’t touch me.”

“I’m nowhere near you.”

Nina had supposed he was right behind her, but surprisingly, his voice seemed to be coming from the other side of the room.

Turning, she stared at him. “Then what was that I felt?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know—what did you feel?”

“I felt your hands on me—your fingers—brushing my hair away from my face, stroking my neck.”

“You what?” His voice was slightly strangled. “Are you serious?”

She frowned. “Of course I’m serious. Why would I make something like that up? You even moved my hair…or something did anyway. How did that happen?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I was just standing here, thinking how much I wanted to touch you, thinking that I wanted to move your hair so I could see your face…” His eyes widened. “No…it can’t be.”

“Can’t be what?” she asked impatiently.

“Don’t move.” He looked at her intently, his silver eyes narrowed to slits. “Just stand there for a minute and don’t move.”

“Stand here and do what? What are you…?” Suddenly, she felt his fingers again, stroking over the side of her face and cupping her cheek. The sensation was as real as though he was actually touching her, yet, he was still standing across the room. “Reddix?” she whispered, putting a hand up to her face. There was nothing to feel, but she still had the sensation of invisible fingers stroking her skin.

“Did you feel that?” he asked hoarsely. “Gods, Nina, please tell me you felt that.”

“I felt…something. An invisible hand cupping my cheek?”

“That was no invisible hand—it was my whisper fingers. I Touched you, Nina. I actually Touched you.”

She knew at once what he meant and her heart started to pound.

“Quick,” she urged. “Do it again.”

“Close your eyes,” he instructed. “And describe what you feel.”

Nina closed her eyes obediently and clenched her fists at her sides, waiting. What would he do next? Could this really be happening? Could he really…

Then a gentle finger was sliding around her nipple, tugging it playfully and making her moan with surprised pleasure. Her hand went to her breast involuntarily and her eyes flew open.

“Reddix?”

“I can tell you felt that.” He grinned at her, one eyebrow arched rakishly. “How did you like it?”

“It feels amazing,” Nina said. “But what does it mean?”

“It means…” He took a deep breath. “I think it means my Touch Sense has finally turned itself around. It’s not inverted anymore.”

“So then your RTS…?”

“Is cured, if I’m right.” He closed his eyes. “Hold on a minute—let me concentrate. The people in the suite next to ours were having a fight earlier and I could ‘hear’ everything they were feeling. So let me just…” His voice trailed off, and Nina could see the intense look of concentration as he focused on the people in the next suite.

“Well?” she asked after a minute, unable to help herself anymore. “What do you feel? What do they feel?”

“I have no idea.” When he opened his eyes they were glowing with excitement. “It’s gone—it’s all gone. I can’t feel or hear any emotions anymore but my own.”

Nina shook her head in wonder. “That’s amazing. But how…?”

“I think you did it.” Coming forward, he took both her hands in his. “A pure heart and healing hands,” he murmured, leaning down to brush his lips gently over her fingers.

“I don’t see how I could have,” she objected. “I mean, I didn’t do anything on purpose…”

“Yes you did—you gave yourself to me. Don’t you see, sweetheart?” he asked. “You always had the power to mute my RTS, but just now when we were making love, when you opened yourself to me so completely…” He shook his head. “I don’t know how, but I felt something shift inside me. Somehow you healed me, Nina. Your love, your generosity and willingness to give yourself even when it hurt…you healed me.”

“And so then…that means…” She was almost afraid to say it, afraid to voice her hopes out loud.

“That means you’re mine, and I’m never letting you go.” Reddix pulled her close and enveloped her in a bear hug that nearly took her breath away.

Nina didn’t mind, she nuzzled close to him, pressing her face to his strong throat and breathing in the warm, spicy scent of his skin.

“Oh, Reddix,” she murmured, loving the feel of her bare breasts pressed to his broad chest. Though they had just finished making love, she felt her body reacting to his, making her want him all over again. Maybe the bonding fruit was still in her system. “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered breathlessly, rubbing herself against him like a cat.

“I do.” Pulling back a little, he took her mouth in a gentle but passionate kiss. “I love you, Nina of Earth. I think I loved you from the first minute I saw you in my dreams, but I didn’t want to admit it.” He shook his head. “I tried to think of you as just a means to an end, but I couldn’t…you’re more than that. You’re the female I’ve been waiting for even though I didn’t know I was waiting.”

“Oh, Reddix…” She snuggled closer to him, and he hugged her tight, crushing her to him, making her feel completely loved and secure at the same time. “I feel the same way,” she whispered at last, looking up at him. “Like we belong together.”

“Maybe because we do.” He ran his fingers over her bare shoulders and down her sides, ending by cupping her bottom in his big hands. “Mmm, I know we just finished but…”

“I’m ready for round two if you are,” Nina assured him breathlessly. “I think…think maybe there’s still some bonding fruit in my system.”

“It does take a long time to wear off, I think,” Reddix murmured with a smile. “But I have another reason to make love to you again, sweetheart.”

“Which is…?” Nina raised her eyebrows at him.

“To bond you to me.” Reddix kissed her again. “Now that my Touch Sense is fixed, I can give you the Deep Touch. And Goddess, you have no idea how much I want to do that.”

Nina’s breath caught in her throat. “The Deep Touch? So that means…we would be bonded together…forever?”

“Forever,” he assured her, a little grin playing around the corners of his sensual mouth.

“Then let’s go.” Nina grabbed his hand. “I love you, Reddix. I can’t wait to be yours forever.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.” He pulled her against him for another hot kiss and then, swooping her up in his arms, he carried her into the bedroom.

Chapter Thirty-seven

“I’m so sorry—I really am.” Maggie looked so comically upset that Nina almost had to laugh.

“I told you—stop apologizing! If you hadn’t mixed up the signs for the cake layers, Reddix and I never would have gotten together.”

“She’s right you know, doll—they were tragically close to calling it quits for all time,” Kat murmured, smiling.

The friends were all meeting at Kat’s suite to give Maggie and Nina a going away party. Though the girls were going in different directions and saying goodbye their friends on the Mother Ship, both were excited to be leaving.

“I’m glad everything worked out for you and Reddix,” Maggie told Nina. “But I can’t help feeling like I caused a big problem for a lot of people—not just the two of you.”

“Oh please…” Olivia made a shooing gesture. “Baird loved helping me with my bonding fruit “problem.”

“And I got to keep little Daniel for the first time overnight.” Sophie stroked her baby nephew’s soft cheek, and he looked back at her with his strangely beautiful silver and gold ringed eyes. “Good practice for when my own two finally come.”

“I owe you one in the babysitting department,” Liv conceded, smiling at her twin. She looked at Maggie. “And I don’t think Lissa was too upset—was she?”

“Not from what I heard about how well the metal of the ship conducts their, ah, activities,” Kat said, smothering a smile.

Lissa blushed and smiled back. “Saber didn’t mind helping me out, and so far, our neighbors have no complaints.”

“Wait a minute—back up.” Nina held up a hand. “Are you saying that when you make love…”

“Everybody in the immediate area gets into a ‘loving’ mood.” Olivia nodded. “That’s right.”

“It seems to be how things work when a Touch Kindred and his bride make love on board ship,” Lissa said, her cheeks still pink.

“Oh my God.” Nina put a hand to her face. “Oh no! So that’s why all the people in the suites around mine have been staring and whispering at Reddix and me!”

“Probably so,” Kat remarked. “Though they should be thanking you. It’s not every day you get to experience actual bone fide sexual healing.”

“How did you heal him, anyway?” Sophia wanted to know. “Did the swamp witch Lissa told us about have anything to do with it?”

“I don’t think so.” Nina shook her head, frowning. “I don’t really think she had much interest in Reddix at all. She only wanted to heal him because she had this crazy idea that it would somehow free her son—who she seemed to think was Reddix’s half-brother.”

“His what?” Liv demanded. “You didn’t tell us all this.”

“It’s kind of complicated,” Nina said. “Honestly, I don’t know how much of what she told me and showed me was true. She showed Reddix a vision where I left him because he couldn’t bond me to him. Of course she neglected to mention that he would be able to bond us together after all.”

“Maybe she didn’t know,” Lissa said darkly. “Maybe she was just crazy. The rumors we always heard about her when I was growing up…” She shivered. “They don’t bear repeating.”

“She did show me some pretty wild things…a baby with red eyes…a man chained by a stream and covered in dust…” Nina shook her head, troubled. “It was so surreal…I don’t even know if it was magic or if I was just hallucinating from the fumes of the weird potion she was making.”

“And what does Reddix think about all this—the idea that he might have a half-brother somewhere?” Maggie wanted to know.

Nina shrugged. “To be honest, we haven’t talked about it all that much. I did get the impression he was going to confront his father about it, but that’s one family discussion I prefer to be left out of, thank you very much.”

“Well, it sounds to me like you healed him,” Sophia said decidedly. “The question is, did you do it on purpose?”

“No.” Nina shook her head. “And I have no idea how I did it. Mehoo-Jimmy—my adopted grandmother—thinks it has to do with the bear being my spirit animal.”

“Huh?” Kat frowned. “I don’t meant to sound dense, hon, but what?”

Briefly Nina explained about how Reddix had always appeared as a bear—an animal with no words and a shadowed face—when she was dream sharing with him.

“I’ve had dreams about bears since I was a little girl,” she told Kat. “So Mehoo thinks I have a special connection with them—with Reddix. She feels like we were meant to find each other so I could heal him and we could make each other whole.”

“That’s so romantic.” Sophie smiled dreamily. “I like that idea. Out of the whole universe, you were the only one who could heal him.”

“Of course it could just be a matter of the right combination of chemistry between us or maybe being exposed to all those emotions on the planet of the Feeling People where we were marooned,” Nina went on. “But I’d like to think I had something to do with it. I wanted to heal him almost from the first moment I saw him—I can’t stand to see someone in pain, and Reddix was in agony when I first met him.”

“You mean when he first kidnapped you,” Liv pointed out. “Now there’s a good story to tell the kids when you have them.”

“No kidding.” Nina laughed. “I think we’ll tone it down just a little though. It might sound better to say Reddix ‘swept me off my feet’.”

“As opposed to saying he threw you over his shoulder like a caveman and dragged you screaming from your job in the middle of the night,” Kat said dryly.

“Well…yes.” Nina nodded, still smiling. “Speaking of my job, I have to go back to Earth tomorrow and give them my official notice.”

“So you’re really going to live on Tarsia with Reddix?” Maggie asked.

Nina nodded. “At least to start with. Reddix wants to be with Saber to support him in his new position as OverChief for at least the first year. After that, we might move back to the Mother Ship or even back to Earth.”

“And what does your grandmother think of that?” Lissa asked.

“She says I’m like a wind spirit—I have to be free to go wherever the breeze takes me,” Nina said. “But I’ve already promised to be home for Christmas so that’s okay.”

“Well, I’m sure you two are going to be very happy together,” Kat said. “And I for one—”

“Hi, girls, brought you a little treat.” Lauren bustled in carrying a tray piled high with cupcakes.

“Am hungry,” Kat finished, getting up at once to inspect the tray.

“Kat woman,” Liv objected. “Finish your thought. You can’t tell me that’s what you were about to say.”

“I have no idea what I was about to say,” Kat said, still eyeing the tray. “And I don’t care. Because, look—cupcakes.”

Sophia and Olivia started laughing.

“Being pregnant by Twin Kindred makes you crave sweets,” Lissa explained to Nina.

“Speaking of Twin Kindred,” Lauren said, frowning. “I just went to visit Becca Malone.”

“Becca Malone? Who’s that?” Kat frowned.

“The sweetest little thing you’d ever want to meet,” Lauren said. “She crashed your wedding by mistake—I guess she thought the reception was just a free buffet for visitors to the Mother Ship. Unfortunately, she got hold of a piece of the bonding fruit layer of the cake.”

“Oh, no!” Kat groaned. “What happened? Did she attack some poor unwilling man?”

“Hardly,” Lauren said. “She ate the cake and left the reception before we knew what was going on. Once she got out into the park area past the sacred grove, she started to feel the effects.”

“That’s terrible—she could have died.” Sophie’s eyes were wide.

“Yes, she could have because I let someone talk me into making that stupid cake in the first place.” Lauren put a hand on her hip and turned a stern gaze on Kat.

Kat shook her head. “Don’t look at me, doll. How was I to know I was ordering up the horny cake from hell? None of us knew that cooking the bonding fruit would intensify it so much. So what happened to the girl?”

“Luckily, Becca was…ahem…rescued by a pair of unmated Twin Kindred who just happened to be visiting from Twin Moons, touring the Mother Ship.”

“Whew…” Olivia mimed wiping sweat from her brow. “Disaster averted.”

“Not quite.” Lauren frowned. “You see, Becca was a novice at a convent in Sarasota, Florida. The Servants of the Pierced Hearts.”

“Oh my God—she was a nun?” Sophie gasped.

“Not quite but she was about to take her vows to become one.” Lauren shook her head. “Now the poor girl is all mixed up and confused. She didn’t actually bond with the Twin Kindred—they held back from that since none of them knew each other from Adam when they found her in the park. But she did get a little more frisky that your average nun is supposed to get.”

“I thought your average nun wasn’t supposed to frisky at all,” Kat said dryly.

“Exactly.” Lauren sighed. “She’s still not sure what to do, and I didn’t know what to tell her.”

“I’d say tell her nuns don’t get much nookie,” Kat murmured, licking chocolate frosting from her fingers. “That would be the end of that argument right there for me.”

“Kat, it’s not funny,” Lauren said severely. “And what’s more, I told Becca you would come and talk to her. After all, you’re bonded to Deep and Lock—maybe you can give her some perspective on it.”

“You’re right,” Kat said, sobering. “I’m sorry, Lauren. I know you feel responsible because of making the cake. I never should have asked for it in the first place.”

Maggie stood up suddenly on wobbly legs. “It’s not your fault, Lauren—or yours either, Kat,” she said in a shaky voice. “It’s mine. I mixed up the signs on the layers.”

“Oh come on now, Maggie,” Nina objected. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. After all, those two cake layers looked an awful lot alike. How could you know?”

Maggie shook her head. “Don’t try to excuse it or make it sound like a harmless mistake, Nina. I made a mess just like I always do.”

“Maggie—” Nina started.

“It’s true!” Maggie shoved her honey-blonde curls off her forehead and pulled off her thick glasses to clean them on her blouse. “It’s a good thing I’m leaving tomorrow for a deserted planet no one has ever been to before,” she muttered, polishing her glasses with quick, savage movements. “There won’t be anyone’s life there for me to ruin.”

“Oh, hon…” Olivia got up and put an arm around the other girl’s shoulders. “Come on now, everyone makes mistakes now and then.”

“Not me.” Maggie sniffed and swiped at her eyes. “I make them all the time. Honestly, it’s no wonder my fiancé, Kurt, gets so irritated with me. He always says I’m an accident waiting to happen.”

“Sounds like a real charmer,” Kat said dryly. “Bet you’re not going to miss hearing that on Planet X or wherever it is you’re going.”

“It’s Gaia—they’re calling it Gaia.” Maggie sighed. “Of course, we have to stop off on Yonnie Six first, but that should only take a day or two, and then we’re off to the unknown.”

“Wait a minute…” Lissa sat forward suddenly, looking anxious. “Did you say Yonnie Six?”

“Yes—we have to deliver some kind of collar or something.” Maggie shrugged. “I’ll probably just stay in the ship and let Ferna and Ratner—the two Kindred scientists I’ll be with—handle it.”

“You be sure you do that,” Lissa said, frowning. “Yonnie Six is a dangerous place. And the people there…” She shook her head and shivered. “Let’s just say you’re safer in the ship.”

“Oh…okay.” Maggie’s big brown eyes were wide behind her glasses. “Thanks for the warning.”

“You’re welcome.” Lissa still looked troubled. “I just want you to be safe. You’re a very sweet girl, but you do seem to be a little bit…accident prone.”

“You mean clumsy.” Maggie sighed. “I swear I do better when I’m not nervous. It’s just that I usually am nervous. Unless I’m doing research—then I get into the zone, and I’m almost a normal person. Almost.”

“You’re fine, and everything is going to be okay,” Nina assured her though she couldn’t suppress a shiver of unease when she thought of the accident prone Maggie anywhere near a life threatening situation. “Just stay in the ship like Lissa said and don’t get off it until you get to Gaia.”

“Right.” Maggie sighed. “I really am excited about going, you know. But first I think I should go with Kat and apologize to that poor Becca girl.”

“If it’ll make you feel better,” Kat said quietly. “Though I still don’t think you’re to blame.”

“Thanks, Kat.” Maggie smiled at her gratefully. “Should we go now?”

Kat sighed. “Just let me finish my cupcake, doll. It would be a shame to let any of Lauren’s baking go to waste. Just because it doesn’t make me horny out of my mind doesn’t mean it doesn’t taste freaking delicious.”

Lauren laughed. “Okay, Kat—you know what flattery will get you.”

“Another cupcake for the road?” Kat asked hopefully. “Because honestly, Lauren, the twins are begging for more.” She patted her belly which was just barely beginning to show.

Lauren answered something, but just at that moment, Nina got the feeling that someone was trying to speak to her.

“Yes, baby?” she sent, opening herself to the communication. The mental link between herself and Reddix was still so new she hadn’t quiet gotten used to it yet, but it gave her a little thrill every time she heard his deep, harsh voice speaking inside her head.

“Just wanted to know how much longer you’re going to be ‘out with the girls’ sweetheart,” he sent back to her. “I’m beginning to miss you so much I can’t fucking stand it.”

Nina stifled a chuckle. “It’s only been a few hours since the last time we made love. Going into withdrawal already?”

“Absolutely. I can’t get enough of you, sweetheart. Come back to the suite soon, okay?”

“I promise I will. I think things are about to break up here anyway. Do you want me to bring you a cupcake?”

“I don’t care what you bring as long as you bring yourself,” he growled softly through their link. “Love you, Nina.”

“I love you too—I’ll be there soon.”

She broke the link just in time to hear everyone wishing Maggie a safe trip the next day. Nina went to wish her new friend well too.

“You’re going to do fine,” she murmured, hugging the shorter girl. “Just be careful and stay in the ship on Yonnie Six like Lissa said.”

“Of course.” Maggie smiled and hugged her back. “And don’t worry about me—I’ll be living a safe and boring life collecting specimens for the next six months.”

“And writing papers about everything you find, too.” Nina smiled.

“Exactly. I’ll be in nerd heaven, but I’m afraid it won’t be very exciting,” Maggie said grinning back.

“That’s okay. Exciting isn’t always safe,” Nina told her. “And that’s the main thing—to stay safe.”

“I will, I promise,” Maggie said.

“I’m sure you will,” Nina said, letting the other girl go. But she couldn’t help the twinge of unease she felt or the strange presentiment that Maggie’s life wasn’t going to be nearly as dull and danger-free as she anticipated.

Don’t be silly, she scolded herself as she waved at Maggie one last time and turned to leave the party. She’s going to be just fine…isn’t she?

Epilogue

Somewhere in a shack in the middle of the Great Tarsian Swamp, Xandra the swamp witch was brewing a new potion. The pale green waters danced in her cauldron, bubbling and frothing as she muttered and stirred the mixture with one long, white finger.

Suddenly, the surface of the potion grew still and went as glassy as a lake on a calm day. Xandra stared into the pot, unflinching, as a pair of burning red eyes appeared to rise to the surface and stare at her.

“All is well?” rumbled a voice from the depths. A voice so deep and distorted it was difficult to understand. Xandra, however, seemed to have no problem comprehending.

“All is well, husband,” she answered, staring into the burning red eyes. “Reddix is healed and the prophesy is set in motion. Soon our son will be set free. And then the vengeance he shall take, the destruction he will wreak against the Touch Kindred and all their Brothers…truly it will be a work of art.”

“I told you I took him from you for a purpose,” the deep, inhuman voice said.

Xandra scowled. “As to that, I still have not forgiven you.”

“There are many you bear a grudge against. Ask yourself who you wish vengeance on the most.” The blazing eyes blinked and then flickered, beginning to fade. “And then ask yourself who will be first to taste your wrath…”

“Oh, they will taste it, all right,” Xandra promised even as the red eyes faded away, leaving the pale green potion to bubble normally again. “Each and every one of them will have more than they can stomach when I am through.” She stirred the pot again. “Hurry, Therron. Hurry my son. Come home and bring my vengeance with you… Come home and kill them all!”

The End

Brides of the Kindred Glossary

AllFather—the evil head of the Scourge, a race that are the byproduct of a failed genetic trade. The AllFather is one of the Old Ones and has the power to reach into a person’s mind to harvest emotional pain and trauma. He lives for the fulfillment of the Scourge Prophesy.

Ancient Ones—beings which live in the Deep Blue—the darkest and most inaccessible part of the Rageron jungles. They are sentient but not related in any way to the Kindred. Each Ancient One has two forms—a bipedal form which resembles a human or Kindred and a beast form which can be deadly and they can change between forms at will. The Ancient Ones predate even the First Kindred and revere the skrillix plant, which they guard jealously.

Bespeak—to contact someone mentally using a Think-me device. It is considered rude to bespeak someone you don’t know intimately.

Beast/Rager Kindred—come from Rageron—a jungle planet full of beautiful but deadly flora and fauna. They have dark hair, golden eyes, and hot tempers but their most defining characteristic is the mating fist. The mating fist is an area at the base of the Beast Kindred’s shaft which engages fully only during bonding sex with his chosen mate. When engorged it swells to keep the Beast Kindred and his bride locked together until she is completely bonded to him. This ensures sex that is both extremely long lasting and multiorgasmic for both partners.

Blackness between the Stars—another name for the Hoard or Grimlax, an ancient enemy of the Kindred. These beings have no souls and so are considered demonic by the Kindred.

Blood Fever—a condition suffered by unmated females on Tranq Prime, the home world of the Blood Kindred. Blood Fever or Burning Blood as it is often called, is caused by a parasite living on the icy world that affects only women. The parasite—found in the fleeta or blood beetle—reacts with a compound in the Tranq Prime water supply to cause the fever. Symptoms include chills, increased sexual need and the feeling of the blood heating in the veins as well as increased coloration of the nipples and sex. If the fever is not treated in forty-eight hours, it will result in death.

Once a Kindred male has had a female’s blood, he forms a natural antidote to Blood Fever which he can pass on by sharing body fluids with her. The most effective way to get the antidote into the female’s system is for a Blood Kindred to bite her, thereby injecting it along with his essence. However, it is also possible to pass along the healing fluid through sex.

Blood Fever used to be very common on Tranq Prime which is what prompted the cold, proud natives to initiate a genetic exchange with the Kindred in the first place. A recent vaccine has nearly eradicated the disease, however, and the original inhabitants of the ice bound planet have little reason to continue the trade. A faction calling themselves Purists are against any further trade with the Kindred.

Blood/Tranq Kindred—are blond with pale blue eyes and come from Tranq Prime where ice, snow, and arctic-like temperatures are the norm. To combat the severe weather conditions, the Blood Kindred have higher than normal body heat with double the human amount of red blood cells. They have developed specific biting rituals to share their supercharged blood and take the blood of their mates during their own version of bonding sex. They have a set of double fangs located where a human’s canine teeth would be. These fangs do not develop fully or become sharp enough to pierce flesh until a Blood Kindred is with a woman he wishes to mate and bond with.

Bonding Ceremony—a wedding-type ritual which takes place after the Claiming Period if the bride chosen by a Kindred warrior has allowed him to have bonding sex with her and joined her mind to his.

Bonding Sex—the extra step a Kindred warrior takes to bind his bride to him permanently during intercourse. For the Beast Kindred, it is the use of the mating fist. For the Blood Kindred, bonding sex means sex during penetration. Twin Kindred bind a bride to themselves by entering her and coming in her at the same time.

Claiming Ceremony—a sort of engagement service that takes place when a bride is first claimed by a Kindred warrior. He declares his intentions toward her and she vows to obey the laws of the Claiming Period.

Claiming Period—women who are drafted are required to go up to the Kindred Mothership and spend a thirty day “claiming period” with the warrior who has chosen them. If, at the end of that time, they have managed to resist the charms of their Kindred mate, they are allowed to go back down to Earth and resume their normal life. However, if they succumb to their Kindred male’s seduction, they are mated for life and must move to the Kindred ship to live, leaving everything else behind and seeing their family and friends on Earth only infrequently. Of course, many women are unwilling to give everything up at the drop of a hat, draft or no draft. But the Kindred have a secret weapon—devotion to their female’s pleasure and attention to detail during incredibly hot sex.

Claming Period Rules—The Claiming Period lasts for four weeks during which the Kindred warrior attempts to seduce his chosen bride and she tries to resist him:

The Holding Week: the Kindred warrior may hold his bride.

The Bathing Week: the warrior and his bride bathe together and he is allowed to       massage her with scented oils and make her come.

The Tasting Week: the warrior is allowed to perform oral sex on his bride.

The Bonding Week: sex is allowed but it is completely up to the bride whether she will take things a step further and allow bonding sex which is a special and specific process to the three different types of Kindred males. (Most women have given in well before this point but a few do resist.)

The only way out before the claiming period is up is a breach of contract. This can happen if the Kindred warrior does not strictly follow the rules and tries to skip forward in the order of allowed events or by breaking one of the rules laid down by the Kindred High Council. These rules—mostly to do with restrictions on communication with Earth—are for the safety of everyone aboard the Mothership and are nonnegotiable. Ignorance is no excuse for breaking them and will result in immediate termination of the claiming period.

Convo-pillar—A half inch long insect which resembles a brightly colored caterpillar. Convo-pillars were genetically engineered by traders on the fringe colonies around Rageron to translate alien languages by communicating via thought waves to their wearer’s brain. They have been outlawed by the Kindred High Council because their notoriously unreliable translations cause more conflicts than they solve.

Deep Blue—the darkest and most inaccessible part of the Rageron jungles

Dream Sharing—occurs when a Kindred warrior’s mind aligns with that of his bride and they begin to see each other’s day to day activities and memories in their sleep. However, the alignment of the two (or three in the case of the Twin Kindred) minds can take several forms and is not limited to sleep.

Fireflower Juice—an alcoholic beverage made from the Fireflower plant native to Rageron. It resembles milk in appearance but has the flavor of honey, vanilla, lavender and blueberries.

High Councilor—the rightful ruler and defender of the Kindred home planet, First World. Only the High Councilor may sit upon the throne of wisdom and see with the eye of foreknowledge. Without a High Councilor in place, First World and the rest of the Kindred race cannot be adequately protected against the evil machinations of the Hoard.

Hoard—an ancient enemy of the First Kindred also known as the Grimlax or the Blackness which eats the Stars, they are evil, demonic beings with ravenous appetites and a desire to conquer, devour, and destroy every living thing in the universe. They are divided into tribes with the lowest echelon being the most numerous and primitive.  The elite or upper echelon tribes are more sophisticated and intelligent but also much more dangerous. They are notoriously manipulative and able to change their appearances using a technique called “shadowing” to look like anyone or anything they choose.

Kindred—a race of genetic traders who have traveled the universe for centuries looking for viable matches to expand their gene pool. Since a genetic anomaly ensures that their population is ninety-five percent male, they are specifically looking for women.

The three genetic trades the Kindred have already made have resulted in three very specific types of men. But though they take on some of the physical characteristics of the race they are trading with, the Kindred gene always ensures three things: physical prowess, extremely large and muscular body structure, and undying loyalty to the female of their choice.

Krik-ka-re—a Scourge tradition in which the mind life of one being may be traded for or ransomed by another.

Kusax—a special knife made from the tainted metal at the core of the Scourge home planet. One scratch can be deadly as it infects the wounded person with a soul poison which ensures a slow, agonizing death.

Law of Conduct—the Kindred law which says every warrior is responsible for the good behavior of his bride and gives him the right to punish her—within reason. Often the “punishment” is sexual in nature and some brides become serial offenders simply to experience their Kindred warrior’s particular form of discipline. ; )

Luck Kiss—a kiss performed by the best man and maid of honor at a Kindred Bonding Ceremony in order to bring the happy couple good luck.

Mate of my kin—the way Kindred warriors refer to the brides chosen by their brothers. It is analogous to the English term sister-in-law.

Marks of Possession—the Scourge way of marking a female as their mate. The Marks of Possession include a close-fitting collar, piercings in the nipples and clitoral hood, and a brand on the inner hip or the top of the buttocks. Scourge with Kindred blood also desire to scent-mark their mates but they require the traditional marks of their kind to really feel bonded to the female of their choice.

Mother of All Life—the main Kindred Deity, a kind and benevolent goddess whose teachings include respect and reverence for all things female.

Numala—a Blood Kindred name which means “liquid pussy.” It refers to a female who produces more than the regular amount of lubrication when aroused. Numalas are much prized by the Blood Kindred and sought after as mates because they are more likely to be able to accommodate a Blood Kindred warrior’s larger than average cock.

Psychic-Knife—a torture device developed by the Scourge which is able to break the mental and emotional bond between a Kindred and his bride.

Rage—also  Protective Rage or Berserker Rage—a state of altered consciousness that comes over a Kindred warrior when his bride is threatened. It floods the bloodstream with endorphins and causes such intense anger and aggression that a Kindred in this state becomes a killing machine who will die to protect the woman he has claimed.

Sacred Grove—an area of green and purple trees that houses the temple of the Mother of All Life. The Kindred Mother ship has been equipped with an artificial green sun like the one on their home world in order to allow these holy trees to grow and flourish.

Scourge—a genetic trade gone wrong, these menacing outsiders have twisted desires and sexual needs fierce enough to frighten away even the most adventurous. Their need to dominate and possess their women completely has led to a strange prophesy that they must fulfill…or die trying.

Scourge Prophesy—“One of two, alike and yet different—the double fruit of a single womb from the third planet of a yellow sun. She shall be marked with a white star between her breasts.” These words were spoken by Mee’ah—the last living female of the Scourge race who was believed to be a great seer. The Scourge are a dying race, forced to create new members in artificial wombs called flesh tanks or vats because they have no females. Yet, because they have some of the same genetic characteristics as the Kindred, they are able to create only male children and each new generation is weaker than the last. The prophesy refers to the woman the Scourge believe will be able to mate with the AllFather and bear only daughters to rejuvenate their race.

Skrillix Plant—also known as the Pain Vine. This plant is found only in the heart of the Rageron jungles called the Deep Blue. The brilliant crimson berries of the skrillix are said to cure many illnesses, including stasis sickness and can also dissolve an improperly placed or artificial soul bond. The thorns are said to be as poisonous as the berries are helpful. One prick from a skrillix thorn can give waking nightmares, forcing the victim to relive painful memories. When minds are linked by the juice of the berries, these visions can be shared with others who can witness them via a chemically induced neural link.

Take-me—an animal native to Twin Moons that has been domesticated by the Kindred for transportation aboard their ship. The Take-me has green fur and two heads, one on either end. Each head has three purple eyes. The Take-me has the unique features of being to expand and compress its mass which makes it ideal for storage. Because they originally lived in caves, most Take-mes stay very contentedly in small dark areas in the Kindred food prep areas where they live off the scraps and leavings of their master’s meals. They can eat almost anything except banana peels which they are allergic to.

Tharp—an animal that looks very much like a thin fur blanket which can be worn as a garment. Tharps are cultivated on Tranq Prime and prized for their ability to multiply their host’s body heat and keep them warm in even the most frigid conditions. A tharp can be worn by only one person— as a neophyte or youngster it imprints upon a host and will slowly starve if parted from them. Tharps are intelligent and capable of limited movement. They live as long as their host and subsist only on body heat, needing no other form of sustenance to survive.

Think-Me—a thin silver wire worn around the temples which facilitates mental communication between people who already have an intimate connection.

Touch-U—a flat black mat-like animal native to Tranq Prime which the Kindred have adapted to be a home health appliance. The Touch-U is capable of giving a gentle massage or an all-out erotic experience depending on which button is pushed.

Twin Kindred—come from Twin Moons—a world of vast, stormy oceans dotted with craggy but beautiful islands. True to their namesake, Twin Kindred always come in pairs. The brothers are not identical, however. There is always a light twin and a dark twin. These labels refer not just to skin, hair, and eye coloring but to the twin’s moods and perceptions of the world. The dark twin in the pair is usually more moody and withdrawn while the light twin takes a substantially brighter view of life. The twins are closely linked and able to sense each other’s emotions. They cannot be separated by long distances or for long periods of time without severe pain. They must also share a woman, linking her into their mental and emotional exchange for very intense ménage sex.

Urlich—a type of dog bred by the Scourge. At maturity they are modified with machinery to heighten their sense of smell and intelligence which results in a cyborg-type animal. Once in pursuit of whatever scent has been programmed into their brains, the urlich are utterly single minded and incapable of stopping until their prey has been cornered and captured.

Wave—a Kindred cooking appliance which emits thousands of finely collimated beams of heat to cook food in under a minute.

Zichther—an animal native to the jungles of Rageron, the zichther resembles a small bright blue teddy bear in appearance until it opens its mouth and reveals three rows of incredibly sharp, shark-like teeth.

About the Author

Evangeline Anderson is a registered MRI tech who would rather be writing. And yes, she is nerdy enough to have a bumper sticker that says “I’d rather be writing.” Honk if you see her! She is thirty-something and lives in Florida with a husband, a son, and two cats. She had been writing erotic fiction for her own gratification for a number of years before it occurred to her to try and get paid for it. To her delight, she found that it was actually possible to get money for having a dirty mind and she has been writing paranormal and Sci-fi erotica steadily ever since.

You can find her online at her website www.evangelineanderson.com

Come visit for some free reads and to find out what’s coming soon. You can also connect with her on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/evangeline.anderson.773

Read on for a taste of two new books, coming soon from Evangeline Anderson…

Ruby Shadows book three in the Born to Darkness series

coming out fall or winter of 2013

Nothing is for free when it comes to demons…a fact that Gwendolyn LaRoux finds out the hard way when she summons Laish, a demon from the Shadow Lands to help her cook up a little black magic. Unfortunately black magic has a way of growing and soon Gwendolyn finds herself drowning in darkness. Still, she’s determined to clean up her own mess. But when a creature from the Abyss enters our world and threatens her beloved grandmother, Gwendolyn has to admit she needs help—which means summoning the infuriating Laish, even though she swore never to call on him again.

Answering Gwendolyn’s incantations in a moment of boredom was a mistake for a demon who keeps what little heart he has left under lock and key. Laish immediately fell for the Creole beauty with jade green eyes and creamy, café au lait skin and now he’s determined to have her—no matter what the cost. And thanks to Gwendolyn’s sticky dilemma, the price just went up.

When it turns out that the intrepid witch must travel through the Shadow Lands and close the door she left open to the Pit, she knows at once she can’t make the dangerous journey on her own. Of course Laish is more than willing to act as her escort and bodyguard…for a not-so-small fee. Gwendolyn doesn’t want to use her body as a bargaining chip but the lustful demon will accept no other form of currency. And since her grandmother’s life is at stake, she has no choice. Little by little she must give in to his demands.

As Gwendolyn and Laish travel further and further into the interior of Hell, will he be able to keep her safe? And will she be able to keep her innocence? Or with they lose themselves and each other among the… Ruby Shadows?

Purity…coming out fall of 2013

K is a fourth level Paladin and a servant of Purity—the holy nothingness she has been taught to revere and aspire to from childhood. Born on a sexless world from an artificial womb, K was fitted with a black mesh skinsuit at the tender age of nine. The suit nourishes and defends her from enemies and serves as her main weapon in the holy war her people have declared on the rest of the universe. It also eradicates even the slightest traces of emotion. Leading her purge squad in a never-ending mission to rid the universe of the Impure, K is accustomed to killing or enslaving everyone she meets. That is, until she meets Boone.

Boone is a doctor and geneticist from Colossus—a heavy G world which has rendered the people who inhabited it larger and stronger than regular humans. He’s more than happy to stay on his own planet and do research—until his little sister is taken by Purists and delivered to the pshalite mines. Frantic to rescue her, he hatches a desperate plot—capture a Paladin and use the enemy pawn to gain access to where his sister is being held. K falls into his net—but not without a fight. When she is wounded in the battle, Boone is forced to cut off her skinsuit in order to save her life.

Now, removed from her comforting routine and separated from the parasitic suit, K is beginning to change. Her body is ripening, transforming in ways she can’t understand. And for the first time in her life she can feel…whether she wants to or not. In order to survive in her new environment she has to cooperate with Boone. But she soon finds that it isn’t only her body he holds prisoner…but also her heart.

Chapter one

K knew she was dead the minute she woke up.

Her death sentence was written in the neat row of black stitches marching along her inner thigh like orderly insects. The fact that she could see her own thigh—that it wasn’t obscured by the black mesh of her skinsuit—was her first clue, but stitches in her flesh clinched it.

She had been contaminated—maybe fatally so. Still, she hoped. She prayed to Purity that she might still remain untouched. She couldn’t remember anything—not the way she’d gotten the wound, or the person who had sewed it up. She didn’t even know how she’d ended up on a table in the small bare room with battered metal cabinets and chipped white countertops.

She only knew her head throbbed like a rotten melon about to burst and her suit was gone, leaving her helpless.

Get hold of yourself, K. You’re a fourth level Paladin. You can handle this. You can handle anything. Even being naked and alone, stripped of her weapons and defenses? Yes. She raised her chin and tried to examine the room where she found herself though her vision kept wavering in and out of focus alarmingly. You’re not defenseless, she reminded herself.

Paladins went through rigorous physical training from the time they could walk and K was no exception. Looking down at herself she could see that her body, which she hadn’t seen nude since childhood when she had first been fitted for her skinsuit, was strong and lean. In fact, other than being considerably bigger—she was almost two meters, tall for a female—it looked much the same as it had back then.

Her chest was flat as a Paladin’s should be. Breasts only got in the way during combat, presenting the enemy with a sensitive target. She thanked Purity that hers were almost nonexistent, the nipples a pale, innocent pink that blended into the white of her skin. Glancing further down she noted that her hips were narrow and strong and her sex was barely noticeable—a colorless slit between her thighs. This was as it should be. Her body was strong—fit to fight—and that was all K ever asked of it. Nothing else was required.

K looked around. There was a flat metal panel bolted to one wall of the room. A viewscreen? It wasn’t transmitting anything at the moment and in its shiny surface she saw her face. The image staring back at her seemed strangely vulnerable without the cowl of the skinsuit to frame it. The thick blue-black cable of her hair—the only soft part of her—was still coiled in a braid at the back of her neck and her black-on-black eyes marked her level and achievements.

All Purists had black irises—it was a trait of their people. But as they progressed toward true Purity the black bled outward, obscuring the white sclera. It was a slow process and painful—it had cost K much to get where she was today with only a thin white ring around the outer perimeter of her eyes. When she reached the fifth level and surrendered herself completely to Purity even that would be gone. She would be as cold and empty as space itself, hollow inside. A vessel filled with holy nothingness. It was what every Purist worked for tirelessly, though few achieved it.

There was one who had achieved it, though—the High Sentinel. He had taken an early interest in K, making her his protégé despite her routine origin, a fact that would have pleased her immensely if she had still been subject to strong emotions. A Paladin of her level was not, however.

The capacity for feelings was lessened as the black within a Paladin’s eyes grew until only cool, pure reason remained. Being devoid of violent emotions kept one from making rash decisions in battle or giving in to hysteria. At the moment K was grateful for the cool nothingness she felt within. That and her training were the only things that kept her from leaping off the table she found herself on and running from the room in a blind panic.

K took a deep breath and tried to think steadying thoughts. The High Sentinel came to mind again, as well as the last words he had said to her. Her head throbbed as the memory came back in a rush.

“You appear to have everything in order, Commander K.” The Sentinel’s pale face looked up at K from the com-link on her wrist. Though he was a Paladin of the highest level he wore no skinsuit. He needed none—his eyes had been completely black since before K had been expelled from the artificial womb that had birthed her in the newlife center.

“I thank you, Sentinel.” K inclined her head to him, a mark of respect. “My squad is ready and the ship is primed to attack.”

“You have the Erian filth in your sites?’

“We do. Our sensors show a small party only and the ship has no weapons—they should present no major difficulties. We will board them shortly.”

“Good. Kill on contact, Commander. Take no prisoners.”

K raised an eyebrow. All her life she had been taught that the natives of Eros were evil, decadent, depraved. Why else were the Purists at war with them? But to enter an unarmed ship and slaughter all those aboard…

“Forgive me, Sentinel,” she said, trying to pick her words carefully. “But they are, as I said, unarmed. There would be no honor in the kills.”

“No honor except ridding the universe of more Erian filth. They must be purged in order for Purity to expand—all of them.” His eyes flashed in what might have been anger had he still be capable of feeling or displaying such an emotion.

K tried once more. “The pshalite mines on Midas need new workers. If we engage our hyperdrive we can deliver them in less than—”

“No!” His vehemence surprised her. “The Erians must be purged. They are debauched. Not even fit to be slaves. They would corrupt and contaminate all who came in contact with them. In fact,” He frowned slightly, a white indentation appearing between his black-on-black eyes. “I wish you to take special care, Commander K. You must not even speak to them or allow them to see your face.”

K felt a mild surprise at his orders which seemed extreme. “I will, of course, avoid contamination at all costs, Sentinel.”

“See that you do.” His eyes burned into hers. “I have great plans for you, K. You are the most promising Paladin I have seen come up through the ranks in too many cycles to count.”

“Thank you. I am most gratified by your trust in me.” K felt a mild pleasure and then wished she had not. A Paladin of her level ought be able to hear the grimmest news or most lavish praise without even a hint of emotion. Still, she would get there soon if she progressed as the Sentinel expected.

“You have earned it. When you return to Athena I think you will be ready to take the fifth level trials.”

Another faint surge of pleasure made her clench her jaw. “I had not thought to be ready for that for another two cycles.”

“Oh, you’re ready, K. You must be. We can wait no longer for—” He broke off abruptly. “Just see that you dispatch the Erians quickly and with minimal contact. Then set a course back to Athena.”

“I will do as you say.” K nodded again.

“Very well. Do not fail me, Commander K. Sentinel out.” His image flickered and disappeared with a faint hum.

K closed the com-link and stepped into the command area of her ship to look at the vessel on the viewscreen. It was clearly from Eros. The sleek pink sides made of gallixium, a metal found only on the fifth planet from the Prometheus system’s yellow sun, glimmered softly in the cool black of space. What it was doing here, on the far side of Minotaur which was mostly inhabited by ravenous reptilian beasts, was a mystery. But mystery or not, it was not Purist and therefore must be purged.

“Get ready to engage,” K told her pilot. “Our orders are to kill on contact and leave no survivors.”

The pilot turned, clearly surprised. “But, Commander. The pshalite mines—we were told that every available slave is needed.”

“You heard me, Six.” K gave him a slight frown to signal her displeasure. “These orders come directly from the High Sentinel himself. Purge them all.”

There was a faint murmur around the command area as the rest of the purge squad took this in. It wasn’t the killing that bothered them—K was certain of that. Paladins were trained to kill without mercy or emotion from an early age. Waste, however, was shameful and not in keeping with the concept of Purity.

At the moment there was a push for more pshalite, the mineral that fueled the hyperdrives of most interstellar ships. Rumors filtering down through the ranks spoke of a massive campaign in the making. Possibly one that would encompass the entire Prometheus system. K didn’t know about that—it was not her place to know. She only knew that she must follow the High Sentinel’s orders without question. To do anything less meant both dishonor and death.

“Four and Five,” she snapped at her gunners. “When we board them I’ll want you on my right flank. Three and Two on the left. One, you’re bringing up the rear. Six will remain with the ship as always and plot a course for home.” She nodded at her pilot. “Take us the fastest rout possible, Six. I want a straight line trajectory back to Athena.”

The pilot frowned slightly. “Your pardon, Commander K, but that will take us much closer to Colossus that is safe. Maybe if we were to detour and pass by Pan instead—”

“I said the fastest rout, not the safest rout, Six,” K admonished him. “Do you fear the giants so much you would yield to cowardice?”

His chin snapped up and he glared at her. “I fear nothing. I feel nothing, Commander.” The Paladin’s code.

“Clearly you do or you wouldn’t keep questioning my orders, Six. Plot the course and be ready to engage the moment we finish with the Erian vessel.”

“Commander, please, I do not fear for myself. But you are too valuable to risk. I—” Six had risen from his seat and now he took a step toward her. His eyes were full of some emotion K couldn’t read and his hand…his hand was outstretched as though to touch her.

Though the thick black webbing of their skinsuits covered both his hand and her arm the gesture was still completely unacceptable. Contact was forbidden, a fact that was drummed into every Paladin, male or female, from the moment they were assisted from the artificial womb by the birthing mechanoid. That Six would even think of touching her, let alone act to do so, was a grave offense.

“Remember your place, Paladin.” K amplified her commanding contralto through her suit, making it sharp enough to cause pain. “You dare to approach me so?”

“Forgive me, Commander. It was only my regard for you that made me forget myself.” Six stopped abruptly, his hand dropping to his side. His cowl was down and K could see that his cheeks and the tips of his ears were red with embarrassment.

“Allowing yourself such emotions, even for your commander, is unbecoming and inappropriate,” she told him. “Admitting them aloud is even more shameful. Return to your seat, Six and let’s hear no more about it.”

He nodded silently and did as she commanded. K watched, frowning slightly. She wouldn’t have tolerated such a show of emotion or his endless questioning if it were not for his extraordinary skills as a pilot. It was strange since the rest of the squad had all been part of his birthgroup and none of them showed much ability at flying. However, it happened so sometimes. K herself was the eleventh of twenty-six and though all of her birthgroup had been genetically engineered for leadership, she had far surpassed the others—those that had survived to adulthood, anyway. None of the rest of them was more than a second level Paladin and none had their own purge squad as she did.

The High Sentinel’s voice rang in her head. I have great plans for you, K. Yes, and she intended to be worthy of those plans and his trust in her.

“Now.” She nodded at Six again. “Bring us in fast. They won’t know what hit them.” There was the faint vibration as their ion grappling hooks dug into the sides of the Erian vessel and began to pull it close. “Shields up,” K barked but there was no reaction from the pale pink vessel. It floated in their grasp inactive, glistening like a polished shell in the black void, waiting for K’s next move.

K allowed herself a frown of concern. This wasn’t right—wasn’t normal. The Erian ship should be a bubbling cauldron of frantic activity. They should be hailing her ship and suing for peace or at the very least calling for help but the sensors didn’t detect so much as a single distress cry.

K thought of hailing them herself but no, the High Sentinel had specifically warned against face-to-face contact. She wasn’t sure why since the Erians were descended from the inhabitants of Earth-that-was, the same as the Purists. Though they were clearly inferior stock and had allowed themselves to become wanton and excessive as the Purists had not, K didn’t think their depravity could spread through viewscreen contact and a few words exchanged. Still, the High Sentinel’s word was law.

“Why do they sit there like that?” murmured One. “They aren’t even trying to escape—their life buoy is still attached.”

“Maybe it’s disabled,” Three said. “Sensors show an increase in heart rates among all aboard. Clearly they fear us.”

“As they should.” K raised her voice and addressed them all. “Purge squad, are you ready for battle?”

They answered as one. “We are ready, Commander. We fear nothing. We feel nothing.”

“Good.” K depressed the pressure tab behind her right ear. The cowl of her skinsuit slid over her face, forming an airtight seal that doubled as a helmet. She could see out but no one else could see in. Her features were completely obscured allowing her to be the faceless, anonymous instrument of Purity she had been born and bred to be. “Let’s go.”

The squad moved smoothly into formation around her and K heard the hum of their weapons being primed. She carried no external machines of death herself. The plasma gauntlets strapped over the forearms of her skinsuit were more powerful than any pulse pistol or smart gun. They were so deadly, in fact, that only a fourth level Paladin or higher could control them effectively. K thumbed them on and felt the familiar sharp pain as the needles in her suit dug into her flesh. Immediately she was flooded with the cool nothingness of Purity, all her emotions utterly purged at once.

This is how it will be, she thought as the squad marched through the metal corridor that led to the airlock. Their pneumodrill had already bored a hole in the side of the Erian ship and they had only to cross over and take them. When I am fifth level, when I have passed the trials and I stand at the High Sentinel’s right hand. When my eyes are perfectly black without even the thinnest ring of white, I will never feel again. I will be as cold as space. Filled with Purity.

The thought brought neither sadness nor satisfaction with it which was just as it should be. The High Sentinel had been right—K was ready for her fifth level trials. She was closer to Purity than even she had suspected. And after she purged the Erians and fed their bodies to the cleansing blackness of deep space, she would return home and embrace it completely.

The airlock cycled with a hiss and the purge squad assumed fighting stances all around her. K stood solid and steady, taller than all of them, even the males, and readied herself for the assault. The lock swung open, revealing the gaping, jagged hole in the hull of the Erian ship. And then—

K shook her head as the memory dissolved into blurs and blackness. What had happened to her? How had she gone from her own ship with her purge squad in formation around her and the familiar safety of her skinsuit to this? Naked and possibly contaminated in the middle of this bare little room with only her own image in the inactive viewscreen for company. The dull, dented silver door panel had a blinking red light at its top—a clear indication that it was locked. If she’d had her suit and plasma gauntlets she could’ve blasted through it with no problem. As it was, she wasn’t sure what she was going to do.

Have to find a way out of here. K slid off the table and tried to stand on shaky legs. The long black braid of her hair uncoiled from the base of her neck with the motion and slid over one shoulder. Silky ends brushed against the bare skin of her wounded thigh, making her wince. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt anything but her suit’s protective webbing in that area.

From her first fitting at the age of nine cycles the skinsuit had never left K’s body. It grew with her, hardening into armor that kept her safe in battle and molding itself to the contours of her body to cradle her at night. It fed her nutrients through its needles and kept her hydrated even in the driest conditions. K looked longingly down at her forearms. A row of tiny white scars ran up the inside of each one, reminding her of her loss. Already she missed the comforting sting of her suit’s injections.

Where is it? I’d have a lot better chance of getting out of here if I had it on. Yes, and the skinsuit would hide the stitches that marked her as possibly contaminated. No one would ever have to know…

Immediately K was ashamed of her thoughts. If she had been contaminated by the touch of another she would have to be cleansed—a rigorous and painful process performed in the temple of Purity on the Purist home world of Athena. The priests of Purity—the Sage-kind—would execute the necessary ritual. Unless, of course, there had been prolonged contact in which case no cleansing was possible.

K shivered and pushed the thought away. She looked at her thigh again. How much time had it taken to place that long row of orderly black stitches? Whose hand had done the deed? On Athena a medical mechinoid would have done the work but K didn’t think that was the case here. The stitches were neat but not completely uniform—there were tiny variations in the length and spacing that indicated a human touch. And it wasn’t just the stitches. Who had removed her suit? How much had they touched her to get it off? Can’t worry about that now. Have to find it and get out of here.

Leaving the sturdiness of the exam table took more effort than K liked. Why was she so weak? Her head throbbed and the room spun around her, threatening to throw her down on the scuffed metal floor. More through force of will than anything else she managed to stay upright—barely. She stumbled a few short steps across the room and reached for the nearest set of metal cabinets, grimly determined to conduct her search. Yanking them open she found plenty of medical supplies—gauze pads, hemolysers, insti-coagulents—all wrapped in plasti-seal, but no suit. Swearing under her breath, K moved methodically to the next set of cupboards and found more of the same.

She was shivering continuously now and not only from cold. Something was wrong—she needed her suit. They must have put it somewhere…it has to be here somewhere…

“If you’re looking for your suit it isn’t here.”

The deep voice behind her made K’s heart jump. She whirled around unsteadily and had to grab the nearest counter to stop from falling. She looked up…and up and up. The man standing in the doorway had to be almost three meters in height with the heavy musculature to match his massive frame. Spiky brown hair framed the light-on-white eyes of the Impure—his irises were a strange bluish-green color K had never seen before. But it wasn’t his eyes that worried her as much as his size. His shoulders were more than twice as broad as her own and his huge hands were balled into fists at his sides. There was only one thing he could be.

A giant.

Table of Contents

Shadowed

About the Author

Brides of the Kindred Glossary

Ruby Shadows Blurb

Purity chapter 1

Table of Contents

Shadowed

About the Author

Brides of the Kindred Glossary

Ruby Shadows Blurb

Purity chapter 1

Table of Contents

Shadowed

About the Author

Brides of the Kindred Glossary

Ruby Shadows Blurb

Purity chapter 1