HOME RUN

JORDAN MARIE

Home Run

Copyright © 2020 by Jordan Marie

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, including but not limited to being stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the author.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, groups, businesses, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Cover Designer: Robin Harper with Wicked By Design

Photographer: Eric Battershell

Model: Johnny Kane

WARNING: This book contains sexual situations, violence and other adult themes. Recommended for 18 and above.

Created with Vellum

Contents

Title Image

Synopsis

1.  Kage

2.  Green

3.  Ida Sue

4.  Kage

5.  Green

6.  White

7.  Green

8.  Green

9.  Green

10.  Kage

11.  Green

12.  Kage

13.  Green

14.  Green

15.  Kage

16.  Green

17.  Ida Sue

18.  Green

19.  Kage

20.  Green

21.  Kage

22.  Kage

23.  Green

24.  Kage

25.  Kage

26.  Green

27.  Kage

28.  Green

29.  Kage

30.  Green

31.  Kage

32.  Green

33.  Kage

34.  Green

35.  Kage

36.  Green

37.  Kage

38.  Green

39.  Kage

40.  Green

41.  Kage

42.  Green

43.  Kage

44.  Green

45.  Kage

46.  Green

47.  Kage

48.  Green

49.  Kage

50.  Green

51.  Green

52.  Kage

53.  Green

54.  Kage

55.  Green

56.  Kage

57.  Green

58.  Kage

59.  Green

60.  Kage

61.  Green

62.  Kage

63.  Green

64.  Kage

65.  Green

66.  Kage

67.  Green

68.  Black

69.  Kage

70.  Green

71.  Kage

72.  Kage

73.  Green

74.  Green

75.  Kage

76.  Green

77.  Kage

Epilogue

Jordan’s Early Access

Social Media Links

Also by Jordan Marie

JORDAN MARIE

Wanted

A woman with grit and fire who will help me get my son’s head out of his ass.

You must be self-sufficient and not looking for a gravy train.

Common sense is a plus, book smarts are optional.

Cannot have red hair, as my son seems to go for that type and he needs something to shake him up.

Must have a backbone, but be flexible enough to bend—and I’m not talking in the bedroom—some things a mother doesn’t need to know.

Bonus points if your name is Daisy, Lily, Bluebell, Jasmine, etc.

But not Dahlia, that’s an instant no.

Must love kids, especially puberty-stricken boys who are discovering girls are more fun than video games.

Also, and this is very important, you must hate all things baseball—bonus points if you’ve never seen a game either on television or in person.

If this description is you, or fits someone you know, apply at the address below.

P.S. You must also love cows.

Sometimes a mother has to do what she has to do.

Let the games begin.

Dedication

This book was a hard one to write. It didn’t go at all like I planned. Green switched course on me and I couldn’t make him listen. It’s different, but I hope you guys enjoy it. With so many brothers, they are bound to be extremely different. That’s a good thing, or the books would be just alike. Green definitely set himself apart. I loved visiting this family again and I hope you guys stick around to see the other brothers get their Happily Ever After, as well as Parker which you will meet in this book.

I “borrowed” some of my favorite people to put in this book. So, I need to give them a shout out. Kage Zee. I love your name. When I first read it, I thought oh gosh! She’d be a perfect biker babe. Green wanted you instead. I hope I did you proud.

Susan Frank. Sweetheart you are such a bright light through and through. You’ve always been so good to me and you are forever in my heart. You are one hell of a woman. Life is anything but fair, but I’m so glad that it brought you into my life. You are the epitome of a badass bitch. I hope your sister, Betsy enjoyed her mention in the book too, and I did the two of you proud.

Krissy Gentry you’ve been with me since book one! I mentioned you in a book and didn’t kill you in it. I think that shows how much I love you—hehe.

Finally, to all of the girls in my reader group. I love you to pieces. You always lift me up. A special shout out to these ladies who helped name Betsy Frank’s wrestling persona.

Melanie Turner, Jeannie Gobaira, Aimee Parata, you girls freaking rock. Thanks for making me laugh with your crazy wrestling names.

Finally, a special thank you to Dessure Hutchins, Michelle McGinty, Melinda Parker and Tami Czenkus for helping me wade through this book and making it better. You girls have been by my side for so long and I would be lost without you. We may not talk every day, but please know I love you immensely.

It takes a village to write a damn book. I have the best village around.

Jordan.

1

Kage

I purr as I stretch the kinks out of my body. My face is buried into the pillow and I inhale deeply, taking the scent of sex and man into my lungs.

Not any man.

Green Lucas.

I feel my lips stretch out into a smile and I fight the urge to giggle like a giddy little girl.

I’ve never giggled in my life, by the way. I’m not the type. I guess that’s what good sex will do to you.

And, God, it was good.

The best.

Of course, I haven’t had any experience. Only Green, but I can’t imagine it gets any better. I’ve always heard first times were horrible and painful.

Mine was earth-shattering.

Maybe Green Lucas isn’t human. Maybe he’s a god.

A sex god.

There’s that urge to giggle again. I shake my head against the pillow—still grinning.

There’s no way to explain what a miracle it is that I’m grinning. I am not a grinner. Russ would say I have permanent resting bitch face and it’s not like he’s wrong. Life kicks you in the lady balls enough, you learn to show no weakness and tell it to fuck off. I suppose that sounds pretty bitter considering I’m only nineteen, but when you’ve been dealt the hand I have… that’s just the way it is.

It’s my motto and has always been my motto—at least until last night.

Last night everything changed.

Last night Green Lucas tilted my world on its axis literally and figuratively. Last night changed me.

I’ve never been the kind of girl to believe in love at first sight, but after spending the night with Green… I could be.

Damn it, I really could, and I never saw that coming.

Once I tell Russ that shit, he’ll make fun of me for a year.

I won’t even care, because I’ll have Green.

Me!

Kage Bentley. Street kid and generally life’s kickball, somehow managed to grab Green’s attention and…

“Time to wake up, sweet thing.”

I frown into my pillow. His voice is different this morning. Of course, we’re not having sex, so I suppose that’s to be expected. I definitely miss the deep rich tone, the softness he used when he spoke my name… And I don’t like the nickname he uses. Thank God he didn’t call me that last night or I might have walked away.

Now that would have been a shame.

“Yo, babe, it’s time to get your ass out. We have to have the room emptied.”

My body jerks at the abruptness in his voice, as well as the cold tone. All of the beautiful, romantic thoughts of last night are wiped away in an instant.

“What?” I ask, slowly raising my gaze upward, only to frown when the man standing by the bed isn’t Green at all. I hurriedly pull the cover up tighter over me, feeling exposed and more than a little afraid.

“Need you to get dressed. It’s time to go.”

“Who are you? Where’s Green?” I ask, my face feeling as if I’m being eaten alive by flames.

“He left hours ago for practice, hungover as hell. You two must have really partied last night. Anyway, you need to get out. Green left you an envelope by the door.”

“Practice?” I ask, my eyes blinking as I try to figure out how a night that was so great, turned into hell.

“Baseball practice, you know, what he does for a living? Shit, you must be as hungover as he is,” the man says, clearly disgusted. I don’t know what he’s talking about.

Hungover? I mean, Green was drinking when we met. I knew that, but was he really that drunk? He didn’t seem to be out of it, not that I’ve had a lot of experience I guess. I don’t drink and Green laughed about that. None of this is making sense.

“Can I… Will you give me a minute alone, to get dressed?” I ask the man, when he keeps standing over me, staring.

“You got five minutes, then I’ll have security escort your pretty ass out,” the guy says, walking away. “It’s already daylight outside. The last thing Green needs is to be on the front page of the gossip rags proclaiming he’s been partying with a kid that looks like she’s sixteen.”

“I… I’m not sixteen,” I tell him, defensively. I push my mass of curly hair, and the bane of my existence, out of my face and focus on the man that mere moments ago I thought was the final good guy left in the world. Now, I’m starting to think I was wrong.

Horribly wrong.

“You look sixteen. Besides, those vultures that follow the team around won’t care. So, you need to get that sweet ass of yours out of the bed. Don’t forget to pick up the envelope by the door,” he replies, slamming the door behind him.

I stare at the door for a minute, unable to believe that as great as last night was, this is how it is playing out this morning. Of course, I had no idea that Green was a baseball player who had a team that had people following them around. I shake my head to try and think about what I’m going to do.

I figure the guy wasn’t kidding when he said he’d have security throw me out and I’m not about to test the theory. Shame, hurt, frustration, sadness, and maybe a hundred other emotions swamp me. Tears sting my eyes.

I feel… dirty.

I jump up quickly and search around for my clothes. I find the halter top and jeans I wore; I throw sheets and covers everywhere, but I can’t find my panties anywhere. I throw what I have on, desperate to cover up my naked body. I walk straight to the door, wanting far, far away from Green Lucas and this damn hotel room.

When I get to the door, I do see an envelope. I pick it up and even as mortified as I am, I have this small, slim hope that there’s a note giving me his phone number, explaining why he’s not here, along with a promise to make it up to me.

That hope dies when the writing on the envelope says Katie.

I can’t believe it. I’m in such shock, I find myself looking around. The guy from before is standing over there talking to the maid and two other men in suits.

“The envelope,” I begin, but the guy doesn’t let me finish.

“Yeah, that’s it. You can get a taxi downstairs,” he says effectively dismissing me.

I was all kinds of confused and sad earlier, now I feel shame and rage.

I can’t believe Green didn’t even remember my name correctly. It’s not like Kage is that common, you’d think it would have stuck in his damn memory, especially considering how we spent the night. It doesn’t even truly sound like Katie!

I find the small black clutch I carried last night, grabbing it and opening up the envelope, almost in unison. There is no note. Instead, the envelope contains money. I count it out, my disbelief growing with each second.

Five hundred dollars.

I slept with Green Lucas. I gave him my virginity and I thought it was magic… instead I was… a paid whore.

I grab the money, wishing Green was here so I could throw it at him and tell him where he could go. He’s not and I can’t, so I take it. He already thinks I’m a hooker, I might as well let him pay me. I stomp out, slamming the door behind me.

Green Lucas can go fuck himself.

2

Green

One Month Later

“WHAT IN THE ninth level of hell do you think you’re doing, Green Lucas?”

I close my eyes and hold my head down. I should have known things wouldn’t go smoothly. There’s no questioning what she’s bitching about. My only question is which one of my brothers or sisters ratted me out. Sometimes having a large family can really bite you in the ass.

“Mom, calm down.”

“Calm down? Did you really just say that to me, Green House Lucas?”

“God Da—”

“If you use our Lord’s name in vain, Green, I will cut off that appendage between your legs that you’re so fond of.”

“Fuck,” I growl out like a bear.

Mom slaps me on the back of the head.

“I should cut the damn thing off anyway, since it’s clear that’s what you use to try and think with.”

“Damn it, Mom, I’m only meeting her for dinner.”

“Tell me, Green, do I look stupid to you?”

“What?”

“Do you think I’m going to buy the shit you’re trying to sell me? You’ve been hung up on that woman for so long that I’m legitimately thinking of taking you to the doctor for brain damage.”

“Jesus Christ,” I mutter.

“You better call on Jesus, you need someone to save you. She’s originally from New Orleans, right? Maybe she’s got a voodoo doll of you or something?”

“Mom, will you stop?”

“What? There has to be some reason you keep going back to her like a dog in heat. For fuck’s sake, Green, how many times do you have to get your fingers slapped before you realize she’s bad for you?”

“I don’t think it’s his fingers he’s getting slapped, Mom,” White supplies helpfully.

“Thanks for the help, brother,” I mumble, shooting him a look and flipping him off. “Shouldn’t you be home with Kayla and your kids?”

“When I could be here giving you hell? Nah. Besides, Kayla and the brood are headed to some Christmas show, Scrooge on Ice or something. I love my woman, but I’m not about to do that shit. My balls will shrivel up. She got some of her girlfriends, plus CC, and Addie to go with her.”

“Maybe I should send Green to watch that,” Mom sighs.

“Will you stop? It’s dinner. That’s it.”

“That’s it, he says,” Mom mimics. “As if that is perfectly natural.”

“It is. You may not like it, Mom, but Cynthia and I have a history.”

“Oh please, that alley cat has history with anything that walks on two legs and has a hangy-down thingy in the middle.”

“To be fair, Mom, I think she’s only interested if it’s not hanging down,” White says with a laugh.

“Quit trying to help me, White,” I grumble at him, but he shrugs. “You shouldn’t call her that, Mom.”

“You’re right, it’s probably an insult to cats,” Mom huffs and I shake my head. There’s no getting around this.

“It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“Fine, Green. Why don’t you tell me what it is?”

“I’d be interested in that myself. Didn’t she fuck you over enough a month ago, dude?”

“What happened a month ago?” Mom asks, and motherfucking-hell, I’m going to kill my brother.

“Oh shit,” White says, realizing what he’s done. “You didn’t tell her?”

“No,” I sigh.

“Tell me what?”

“He and Cynthia got back together for a couple of months,” White supplies, when it becomes clear that I’m not going to.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Mom hisses and my head drops down and I close my eyes, because this is the last thing that I want to get into tonight.

“It’s over, Mom. It was over a month ago when I came home and found her hitting on my teammate, Parker, who was there to drop off papers coach had given him.”

“That fucking cow. Oh Lord, I’ve insulted Hamburger. She’s a…. I don’t think there are words invented for her.”

“Keep thinking, Mom. You’ll probably come up with them.”

“Shut up, White. If you two are done giving me shit, I’m leaving.”

“Why are you meeting her if she already fucked you over yet again?” Mom cries out.

I don’t turn around. I don’t want to tell her that I’m meeting with Cynthia tonight because she’s finally agreed to go into rehab. I’m not telling Mom, because she’ll see it as a sign that I’m taking Cynthia back yet again. I’m not. I was already regretting trying again when I walked into that scene a month ago. The decision cemented when I saw her drop to her knees and offer to give Parker a blowjob when he hadn’t given her enough attention. I kicked her to the curb then and went out and got black-out drunk. I don’t even remember what happened after that. All I recall is I had a fuck of a hangover the next day for practice and I woke up with a curvy little number. I didn’t look at her…well, unless you count her ass that was sticking up—which was hot as hell. The rest of her body—including her face was buried under the covers and I left them there. There were used rubbers on the floor, so at least I was safe. I let my manager deal with kicking her out and I left for practice, swearing off alcohol.

Women? Life is simpler when you live like a damn monk.

“I guess I’m an idiot,” I growl, as I slam the door on my mom. I’m a jackass for treating her like that, but right now, I really can’t deal with more shit. Cynthia called me for help. I don’t owe her a damn thing, but I’m doing it and it’s making me feel like a chump. Yet, I’m still doing it. So, really, that does make me an idiot.

3

Ida Sue

“We have to do something, White,” I groan, looking at the door my son walked out of.

“What would that be, Mom? You know he’s been hung up on Cynthia since he was a kid. If that hasn’t changed after all these years,” he shrugs, shaking his head, “I’m not sure anything can fix it.”

“I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.”

“Now, Mom—”

“Don’t you start on me, White Hall! Are you going to tell me that I don’t know what’s best for my sons?”

“Mom, I’m only saying sometimes it’s best to let us find our way. Gray and I both did, and Black, too.”

“After you got your heads out of your asses, sure. But, I think we can agree that it doesn’t seem like Green is going to manage that feat,” I snap. White frowns, but he doesn’t argue.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I need to find him a woman, a good woman. Preferably not a red-head or anything that might slightly remind him of Cynthia.”

“There’s not a lot of single women around Mason, Mom. Unless you want to look at Meadow and I think Blue might have a thing or two to say about that.”

I shake my head. “That’s a can of worms even I don’t want to deal with right now.”

“That means you’ll have to look outside of Mason.”

“What about Kayla’s friend Mer? She had her eyes on Green once upon a time,” I suggest, my hopes up—only to have them dashed when White shakes his head negatively.

“That’s a no. Mer is six months pregnant by that guy who models male underwear.”

“I still can’t believe guys get paid for that.”

“Why?”

“I’d pay them for not having it on, but—”

“God, can we not talk about this anymore? The point is Mer is off the table.”

“Okay fine. Then how about one of those dating sites.”

“A dating site? You have got to be kidding me.”

“Quit being a snob. People meet and fall in love on those things all the time, White Hall!”

“Do you ever watch Dateline, Mom? People get killed using those things all the time, too.”

“Are you watching me close, White?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I wanted to make sure you could see me rolling my eyes at you.”

“You do this, and Green will never forgive you.”

“Then we will make sure he never knows.”

“And how do you think you’re going to pull off that miracle?” White asks and I grin.

“You’re going to help me.”

“Oh no. You’re not roping me into this shit,” he says, shaking his head back and forth and using his hands to wave me off like I’m the devil or something.

“Fine. Don’t help your poor sainted mother,” I mumble with a deep sorrow-filled, sigh.

“The only way you are sainted, Mom, is if you make yourself a saint.”

“Ungrateful kids. That’s my lot in life. I tell you.”

“What’s wrong now, Lovey?” Jansen says, coming into the living room, wrapping his arms around me and pulling my back against him, as he kisses the side of my neck.

I love Jansen. I love having him with me. Right now, I’d prefer he wasn’t here, because he’ll give me hell when he figures out what I’m doing. Still, sometimes you have to roll with the punches.

“I was telling White that it wouldn’t hurt him to help his poor, sainted mother out when she asks for his help.”

“And I was telling my mother she’s very far from being a saint.”

“Words hurt, White,” I complain.

“I don’t know. God knows your mother makes me pray for patience often, and since I’m not a religious person,” Jansen shrugs, giving White a wink, “I’d say that means she performs daily miracles.”

“You know what would really be a miracle, Jan?”

“What’s that, Lovey?”

“If I let you in our bed tonight,” I huff, knowing I’m bluffing because I can’t seem to sleep without the old coot.

The asshole laughs because he knows I won’t deliver on my threat.

“I better get,” White says, and I let him give me a quick kiss on my forehead.

“Okay, sweetheart. Have Kayla call me in the morning if you don’t mind,” I tell him, a little too sweetly. Perhaps my son is smarter than I give him credit for, because he’s immediately wary.

“Why?” he asks cautiously.

“I feel like she’d like to know what truly happened to her favorite lamp.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” White growls. White hated this teal lamp that Kayla bought at a secondhand store. To be fair the thing was fairly hideous. It was supposed to be shaped like a pear, but it was handblown glass and it looked more like a dang butt plug. White hated it on sight, as did most of us. I can’t be sure Kayla truly liked it, but after White told her she couldn’t have it, she bought it, declaring it her favorite thing ever. If there’s one sure way to get Kayla to do something, tell her she can’t. That’s come in handy over the years.

White was tossing a football up in the air and broke it one day. He blamed it on Calder and how he got Calder to agree to that, I have no idea, but he did—although he did tell me and Jan the truth.

“Try me.”

“She definitely would, Son,” Jansen says, and the old codger is all but laughing at White. This is one of the reasons I love this man. He understands me completely. “Lovey can be devious when she gets her mind set on something. It’s one of the things I like most about her,” he says, giving me a wink. I give him a smile and I can feel the heat spread across my face, because I know we’re thinking of how I get him to give me what I want, when he swears he’s too worn out and tired. Getting old is hell. Mostly because a woman’s libido seems to get stronger and the man’s slows down. I’m not complaining, Jansen and I probably defy the odds.

“Shit,” White hisses, and I smile in victory.

I got him.

4

Kage

“Did you know your baseball player is back in town?” Russ asks.

I roll my eyes. He might be my best friend, but I’m not talking about this with him. If I never lay eyes on Green Lucas again, it will be too fucking soon. It’s been five weeks and I still feel like a damn fool.

“It was bound to happen. His team is based in San Antonio, dummy.”

“You should seek him out,” Russ says, and I bite down on my tongue to keep from snapping my reply that he’s fucking nuts.

“Are you going to help run this damn con or not?” I question.

I don’t have time for this. I’m late for my night job. I work as a waitress at a local dive. It’s not much, but then again, not many people will hire a nineteen-year-old with very little education and a record. The only reason Kell does is because he pays me cash—very little of it, and I get to keep my tips. The tips suck too. The diner gets a lot of traffic, because it’s close to the local community college. But, there aren’t many students that tip. They can’t afford to.

“I’m simply saying you could get a lot more money if you go back to that baseball player.”

“That’s not going to happen,” I tell him. “Can we please let the subject drop?”

“Why? It’s safer. You get caught and arrested one more time, they’ll try you as an adult and it will be your third strike. Last time you tangled with that baseball player we had enough money for my meds and to pitch in on the rent for the month.”

“Drop it, Russ.”

“Kage—”

“He paid me to sleep with him. Do you know what that makes me?” I ask him.

What Russ doesn’t know and I’d never tell him was that it was my first time. I slept with a man, gave him my virginity, and he gave me rent money. Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.

“You didn’t ask him to pay you. It makes you nothing. It makes him an asshole.”

“I still got paid. I still feel… dirty. At least this way, I’m the one in charge and I choose who we con. It might make me dirty, but it doesn’t leave me feeling like a whore.”

“Kage, I…” he goes silent and then looks at me with anguish on his face. “Shit, you’re doing these cons for me. You could survive on what you get at the diner. This is my fault and if you—”

“I’m doing this because I want to and because doing it means we get a break from ramen noodles again this month.”

“Kage—”

“You’re my brother, Russ. Maybe not by blood, but definitely in every way that counts. You know that if they find you, you’ll end up back in that home. You’re only fourteen, that means you’re stuck in that hell if you go back. I’m not going to let that happen. Now, drop it and let’s get this started. I can’t be late at the diner tonight.”

“You’re playing with fire, Kage and I don’t want to see you get burned. This is as close as we’ve pulled this shit to the diner. What happens if this guy comes in for dinner tonight and sees you?”

“Won’t happen.”

“It might.”

“This is not a college diner kind of guy and even if he was, if you’d get a move on, he won’t have a wallet to come into the diner and buy food. Now, are you ready?”

Russ gives me that look but nods his head yes.

Thank fuck.

I don’t think I could have handled talking about Green Lucas one more time. I push him out of my mind and set my sights on the guy standing in front of the newspaper stand, outside a local boutique. The girl with him, probably twenty to his late fifties, just went inside, leaving him an easy mark. I adjust my boobs so they’re almost falling out of my tight, red halter and saunter forward.

If this guy takes the bait, he deserves it. It might not be legal, but in my world it is what I call survival. I sleep fine at night too, with a roof that shit like this helps pay for. I also sleep knowing that Russ has his insulin.

He’s all I got.

He’s family.

I once thought I could pull myself away from this life. I once thought I’d found a hero. Instead, I found out that I got played. It was a hard lesson, but one I needed.

I’m Kage Bentley, a girl from the streets. There’s no guy going to swoop in and save the day for me. No prince ready to put a glass slipper on my foot and whisk me away for a happy ever after. Especially someone like Green Lucas, no matter how special he made me feel for one night.

It was all a lie….

5

Green

“Don’t stop. Oh God, please don’t stop. Green!”

I jerk up in bed, my body covered in sweat, the sound of my name still echoing in my ears.

Fuck.

I’ve been having this dream off and on lately. It’s a woman, but completely faceless. The dream is hazy, but her body is curvy, and she has this huge mass of auburn hair that curls all the way down her back.

And she keeps begging me to fuck her.

I’m too damn old to be having sex dreams, but that’s what these amount to. I probably need laid, considering the last time I did I can’t even remember. Maybe I’m dreaming about her? It’s possible, but I can’t recall anything about her. It’s all a blur. I don’t know how to find the chick again, even if I wanted to—and I don’t. The only action my cock is getting is my hand and he better get used to it.

I’m back in Corpus Christi. This used to feel like home. I loved it here. The commute to the field in San Antonio was a little longer but living here meant I could enjoy the ocean and the city. Plus, my neighborhood was small enough it reminded me of Mason. Allen was also happy here. He misses Mason and his cousins, but he has friends here.

School is out this week and he’s spending time with his mother. She likes to at least give the appearance of giving a damn about one week every three or four months. I miss him and it only reinforces how this place doesn’t feel like home anymore.

I’m supposed to be in Dallas later this week. We have games lined up with the D-League every fucking day. It’s management’s way of training their lower rank players and sharpening our skills in the off season. I don’t normally mind it, but right now I despise it. I recognize the symptoms.

I’m burned out.

I’m about to jump up and go to the shower when the phone rings. God, I hope it’s not Mom. She hasn’t really talked to me all week, not since I helped get Cynthia into rehab. It’s mostly my fault that I didn’t explain more, but nothing I said would have made her happy. I know that.

“Yeah,” I mumble into the phone, wiping the sleep from my eyes and pushing my thoughts and that dream out of my mind.

“Hey, little brother.”

“White? Shit, what time is it? Is something wrong?”

“It’s almost noon. Are you just now dragging your ass out of bed?”

“Christ, I must have overslept. Coach is going to have my ass.”

“Yeah, probably,” he laughs. “I don’t miss those days. Listen, I need a favor.”

“Oh, boy.”

“What does that mean, asshole?” White grumbles.

“It means that you hardly ever call, so when you do something is wrong. When you tell me that you’re calling for a favor, it has to be bad. What is it? You need me to come bail you out of jail?”

“Mother-trucker why in the hell would I be in jail?”

“Could be any number of things. If you want me to guess, I’d say you and Kayla were arrested for having sex in public again.”

“Bite my ass,” he huffs.

“No thanks, I’ll never be that hungry,” I joke.

“We weren’t arrested for having sex in public.”

“Were there cops called there or not?”

“Well, yeah, but only because that snotty little manager called them. There was no need.”

“Were you on the front page of the paper or not? What were those headlines again? Local football hero caught fumbling in restroom of Chicken Shack?”

“Of all my brothers, I think I hate you the most. Can you never bring this up again? Especially in front of Kayla? She’s still pissed. She loved their chicken sandwiches.”

“Must suck to be banned from ever eating there again,” I laugh.

“I still think that was excessive,” he states.

“Dude, you were loudly banging your wife against the wall that happened to connect to their private dining room.”

“Normally that room is empty. What fast food chicken place has a freaking private dining room anyway?”

“The kind that rents it out to the local Baptist convention?”

“Yeah, well, I still say I had Kayla praising God louder than any of them were at the time.”

“God you’re a twisted mo-fo. I’ve got to get going, I’m already late. What do you want?”

“You’re so loving to your oldest brother. I can hardly stand the warmth.”

“You’re running out of time. Three, two—”

“Fine. I need you to take a friend of Kayla’s out tomorrow night.”

“Oh, hell no.”

“C’mon Green, you owe me. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t an emergency.”

“I owe you for helping Allen with his kicking. I’ll buy you and Kayla dinner. I do not owe you enough to go on some blind date.”

“Buddy, I’m desperate. Kayla and I didn’t know Denise was in town and we’ve run away for the weekend. I had to be in Tulsa to talk with the network about doing a couple of guest spots on their Monday Night Football program. We’re using the time away to reconnect. I love my kids, but damn they’re little cock blockers. I need time with my woman.”

“Damn it, White.”

“Please,” he begs and fuck, he really does sound desperate.

“Fine, but I’m taking her to dinner and that’s it.”

“You might really like her, you know. She’s pretty and you actually have a lot in common. Plus, she loves kids—”

“Hold the fuck up. I’m taking her out as a favor. I’m not dating this chick. I don’t care what she likes.”

“I’m saying you should be more open, Green.”

“Do you want me to take her out or not? Because, I got to tell you, the longer you talk the more I’m closer to saying no.”

“Fine. She’s going to meet you tomorrow night at eight at Antonio’s. The reservation will be under your name.”

“You already have it arranged? What if I had said no, motherfucker?”

“We’re family. I knew you wouldn’t let me down,” the asshole says. I growl into the phone, but he ignores that too. “You know, that’s another thing you have in common. Denise loves Italian food.”

I hang up while he’s still jabbering. Then, I plot out ways to kill the asshole as I walk to the shower.

Choking him seems to be the most satisfying.

6

White

“You owe me, Mom.”

“Horse feathers, I gave you life. The way I see it, you’ll never be able to pay me back for the three days of hard labor I went through to give birth to you. You were the most difficult of all my children, you know. Came out ass first and I thought you were going to kill me.”

“You ever notice you tell that same story to Cyan when he pisses you off.”

“Well he was difficult too,” she mumbles.

“And Blue.”

“Lord knows he’s still difficult.”

“And Gray—”

“I don’t remember you being such a damn smartass before, White.”

“You never blackmailed me into setting my brother up with a blind date before.”

“It’s for his own good. Besides, other than not having a unique name, she seems like a very nice girl.”

“You’re basing the fact that she will be good for Green on the basis of her name? Mom, honestly,” I groan, wondering how much my brother is going to hate me when this is done.

“No, White. If I was doing that her name would have to be Daisy or something. I picked her regardless of her name. See? I’m putting Green’s needs over everything. I should be commended, not treated like I’m insane for heaven’s sake.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her she is insane, but I don’t. Mostly because no matter how old I get, I’m never too old for my mother to smack the fear of Jesus into me if it’s needed. It’s embarrassing for a man my age to get spanked by his mother, but I know she’d do it.

“Why did you pick her then?”

“Well, she’s not a red head,” Mom says, like that’s perfectly logical. I assume she’s saying that because Cynthia has red hair. Definitely insane.

“You realize that Cynthia’s natural hair color is brown right?” She only dyes it red to hide her gray and she has this crazy notion it makes her look like a young Julia Roberts. Which, I mean, Cynthia is pretty, my brother has always had good taste in women, but she’ll never be that pretty.

“Hmmm…. I didn’t, but still, she doesn’t look like Cynthia, so that’s a plus in my book.”

“Okay, then what is the next reason she’s perfect for Green?” I ask, almost afraid to know.

“She hates baseball!” Mom announces with such glee you would think she won the lottery. To me, her not liking baseball would be a bad thing since Green lives for the sport, but I’m a man, what do I know.

“Is there any other reason?” I ask and Mom frowns at me, clearly not liking the fact that I’m not completely agreeing with her about this.

“She loves children and you can’t tell me that’s not very important, White Hall Lucas.”

“If you never call me that again in our lifetime, Mom, I’d be forever grateful.”

“I’m simply saying that Cynthia barely pays poor Allen any attention, and the good Lord knows, his mother, Marissa, doesn’t either. Allen needs a good woman to give him the love a mother should.”

“Okay, on this we can agree. But, if her and Green don’t have anything in common, he’s not about to keep dating her and he sure won’t let her around Allen.”

“They both love music. That has to count for something, son.”

I frown. It counts for about nothing, but I don’t tell her that. I can only hope for the best, because somehow I know all of this is going to blow up. When it does, it will be my ass hanging out on the line.

7

Green

“I hope you like Italian.”

I feel awkward as hell. I smile over at Denise, and I’m only thinking two things. One, I should have never agreed to this and two, I’m going to kill White when I see him.

“Not really. Carbs are really not good for you. I try to live a strict Keto diet.”

“Oh…” I mumble, thinking of all the carbs I have before a game. “Well, there’s several salads on the menu,” I tell her, not knowing if that’s true, but figuring there might be. Most places do have them.

“I’ll make do,” she says, and then there’s dead air between us. It feels awkward as hell. We actually don’t say one word until the waiter takes our order. She does, in fact, order a salad, then orders the dressing, cucumbers, boiled eggs and extra bacon bits on the side. She asks that no croutons or cheese be included. Basically, she orders a bed of lettuce with a bunch of side containers.

That was probably my first indication that this was going to be a long night. The next was when, out of desperation, I asked her the one question that I wished I had never asked her.

“So, Denise, what do you do in your spare time?”

“I don’t really have spare time. Idle hands are the Devil’s playground.”

“I’ve heard that,” I take a drink of my water. “What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a personal life coach. I try to help people set priorities in their lives and organize them to help them achieve their life’s goals.”

“That must be very rewarding,” I respond, wondering if I could call Parker or someone from the team to bail me out of this damn fiasco.

“It can be. I’d like to think that your chosen career should be rewarding and have a purpose. I’m told you are a baseball player.”

“Well, yes,” I tell her, thinking it won’t be too long until I retire. Then, I don’t know what I’ll do. All I know is that my shoulder is giving me hell. That and the fact that there’s only so many ice baths I can handle.

“I find sports immature. There’s really no point to them. They teach our children warped values. You have a son, surely you can see this.”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” I reply, thinking I have to find a way to get out of here and soon.

“Sports instill the wrong values. It teaches them that in life there are winners and losers. Instead, we should be nurturing our kids and showing them that everyone wins as long as they participate.”

“I don’t think life truly works that way. You work your ass off, and you reap the benefits of that. You can’t truly sit and expect things to come to you.”

“Really, Mr. Lucas, I don’t think we need to use such crass language at the dinner table,” she chastises, and I frown. I actually have to think back on what I’ve said that got her panties in a twist. I really would like to respond, but I force myself to take a bite of my baked lasagna instead.

I’m going to kill White.

8

Green

“Absolutely not. No way,” I growl, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Don’t you take that tone with me Green House. I don’t ask very much of you, but I need this.”

“Why? Ask one of my brothers. Ask Cyan, he loves this kind of shit.”

“Cyan is out of town and before you ask, so is Blue.”

“Mom, I am not taking some girl out because you promised her mother one of your sons would show her around town.”

“Well, I don’t know why not. It’s not like I’m asking for you to take much time out of your life for me. It’s one night! Two- or three-hours tops! She’s new in Corpus Christi and needs a friend.”

“Tell her to get on Facebook. Then she can friend all of the people she wants.”

“Lord in heaven, what did I ever do to deserve the smartass boys you gave me?” Mom whines.

“Mom, I really would rather have a damn root canal than take some woman out. I’ve got games every day this week,” I whine.

“I understand that, and I wouldn’t ask, but I’m in a pickle here, son. Can’t you help me out just this once?”

“Mom…”

“Green,” she huffs.

I’m fighting a losing battle. I know I am. I’m going to agree, I knew when she asked me. Mom always gets her way, but there’s no way I can tell her no and not feel like a total asshole. I owe my mother the world and she truly doesn’t ask a lot of me. It’s her bad luck that she asked me this on the heels of that disastrous night with Kayla’s friend Denise. How Kayla could even be friends with that woman escapes me.

“Fine, but so help me if one more person asks me to—”

“Her name is Honey and she’ll meet you at Happy Fish.”

“Happy Fish? Christ, Mom.”

“What? It’s a very popular restaurant!” she cries.

“They serve raw fish!”

“This might come as a big surprise to you Green House Lucas, but some people actually like eating raw fish.”

“Do you?” I ask disbelieving.

“That’s beside the point,” she mumbles, which means she doesn’t, but she’s not going to back down.

“Text me the information, but if I do this, you are no longer allowed to say my middle name—ever again.”

“I’ve never heard such hogwash! It’s your name and it’s a good name!”

“That’s my condition, Mom. Take it or leave it.”

“Fine. I swear I don’t know where I went wrong with you, Green Hou—”

“Mom,” I warn, but I’m smiling. I don’t know how she can make me laugh when we’re fighting, but it never fails.

“Fine. Green. There, are you satisfied?”

“Love you, Momma.”

“Love you, too. Thanks, son. You may not realize this, but I hate fighting with you. I really want you to be happy. You always were my favorite,” she says softly.

“You say that to all of us when you want something.”

“Maybe,” she laughs. “Talk to you soon.”

“Talk to you soon. Night, Mom.”

“Goodnight.”

She hangs up and I’m left holding the phone and shaking my head, wondering how I keep getting into these messes.

9

Green

When I enter the restaurant, I whisper a prayer that tonight won’t go as bad as the chick I met because of White. I’m not holding out much hope, but I pray anyway. Too bad I don’t really go to church. In fact, I’m much better at sinning, so I’m pretty sure the Big Guy Upstairs isn’t listening to me.

“Do you have a reservation?” the hostess asks.

“Yes, I’m meeting someone here? The reservation should be under Green Lucas.”

“Green Lucas,” she repeats and after checking her book, looks back at me with a smile. “Your party is already here. If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you back to your seat,” she says overly cheerful. I nod, wishing I didn’t feel like I was getting ready to face a firing squad.

When we get to the table, I’m surprised—pleasantly so. The woman sitting at the table is very pretty. She’s got soft honey-brown hair that’s long and straight, cascading over her shoulders. It reminds me of Cynthia’s before she ruined it dying it red. She’s got a smile on her face and enough lines around her eyes that you can tell she smiles often.

“You must be Honey,” I say, reaching out my hand to shake hers.

“And you must be Green. Ida Sue’s pictures don’t do you justice,” she says with a grin.

“That’s good because knowing my mom she showed you baby pictures,” I laugh, taking my seat. The hostess leaves a menu for me and I thank her before turning my attention back to Honey.

“A couple,” she laughs and I’m starting to think this is going really well.

We make some small talk while we wait for our food. I learn she’s a couple of years younger than me, loves the state of Texas and has recently moved here from Arizona.

“I’ve really just enjoyed life,” she says. “But, I’ve seen a lot of what the world has to offer, and I think it’s time to settle down. I’m at that point in life. I’m older, but I’m not so old that I couldn’t still have a child.”

“You want children?” I ask, surprised. Cynthia once said she’d never want a child, especially once she hit thirty. Marissa fixed it so she could never have another child after Allen. It’s probably best, since she never wanted our son to begin with. I ignore it often, but I can’t disagree with my mother when she says I have horrible taste in women. I married one woman who turned into a completely different person after we said I do. The woman I thought was the love of my life continually cheated on me, and instead of kicking her out of my life, I gave her another chance years later. I still feel stupid. I want what some of my brothers have found. I want that more than anyone could begin to understand. I want more kids; I want to come home to one woman every night and I want a real home. I’m tired of living in hotels, I’m tired of traveling. Fuck, I’ve never admitted it out loud, but I’m tired of baseball. The sport I once loved is draining me. I need a break.

“I do, I mean if I find the right man. I think to be healthy and happy a child needs both a mother and a father.”

“I can definitely agree with that,” I tell her and then slowly shift the conversation away from kids and relationships. This might not be the disaster I had the other night, but I’m not looking for a woman. Trying to mend fences with Cynthia showed me that.

“What are your plans while you’re in town?” I ask her a little later, once we’ve eaten and relaxed. I’m breathing easier because I know that the evening is almost at an end. I’m ready to go home. I have to admit however, that I’m having a good time. I might even ask her if she’d like to go out again—this time without my mother being involved.

“I want to go to the reggae exhibit while I’m here,” she says, and I have to admit I like that.

“I love reggae. Are you a Bob Marley fan?”

That’s a question I am going to wish I could have taken back.

That’s where everything goes bad.

Really bad.

10

Kage

“We shouldn’t be doing this tonight, Kage.”

“We don’t have a choice, Russ. My entire check went to rent and our electric bill this month. We need money fast. You need insulin and I don’t know how you feel about it, but I’d really like to eat this month.”

I sigh as I respond. The truth is, I’m bone tired. It seems the harder I work, the deeper in the hole I seem to go. The money that I got from Green barely carried us for a month because my hours were cut at the diner. I’m at my wits end and I want to take a break.

But I can’t.

Russ depends on me. I’m all he has.

“I hate this,” he mumbles, rolling his wheelchair beside me as we move along the sidewalk that leads to one of the newest and hottest restaurants in Corpus Christi. We’re a little over two hours from San Antonio. That’s farther than we’ve ventured out before, but we’re hitting three different men tonight and I needed to be far enough from San Antonio that it doesn’t get me into hot water. We’ve already found two easy marks and it went smoothly.

Like taking candy from a baby.

“Okay we’re here. You know the drill, right? Lurk in the shadows unless you see me in a jam. If that happens then you roll in and accidentally tip your chair. Right?”

“I got the drill, Kage. It’s not like this is my first time. Listen, we got two easy targets. There’s more than enough on that to set us up for a few weeks. We can probably stretch it for the month. Let’s don’t do this.”

“We have to hit one more. You know as well as I do, that second mark was light on cash. We need this next mark. What’s got into you?”

“Nothing, I have a bad feeling about it this time, that’s all.”

“It’s going to be fine, Russ. I need you to keep a sharp eye out, okay?”

“Whatever. What kind of restaurant is called Happy Fish? That’s not even appetizing, and I doubt the fish are happy since they’re dead.”

“It’s the kind of restaurant that will keep food in our bellies the rest of the month and that’s all that matters,” I tell him, ruffling his hair. Russ is younger than me by almost 6 years. He’s a minor and I’m all he has. He’s fourteen and I’ll be twenty next week. That seems unreal to me. Life has been a bitch. Russ, though, has been dealt a bad hand—even worse than mine, and I refuse to let him down. It’s me and him against the world, and that’s all that matters.

“Let’s get this over with then. By the way? We’re so getting McDonald’s on the way home. If we’re going to live dangerously, we might as well try our hand at eating a Big Mac,” he jokes, and I smile.

“You got it,” I tell him. We move slowly across the front of the restaurant and I frown because there are very few people milling around. It truly might be too late.

“Kage, let’s call it a night. There’s no one around.”

“Nonsense. The restaurant is packed. We’ll wait to see who comes out.”

“I really want to go on record—yet again—that this is a bad idea.”

“Duly noted. Now get over there in the shadows and hide, got it?”

“Sure, go ahead, put Russ in the corner,” he mutters. I lean against the back of the bench and peer through the window of the restaurant. I wait around for fifteen minutes or so and I hate to admit it, but Russ might be right. In the time I’ve been here, not one man has come out alone. It’s hard to flirt with a guy and fleece his pockets when he has a woman on his arm.

My gaze moves back to the restaurant and my heart stutters mid beat.

Green Lucas.

He’s inside on a date. Bitterness pours inside of me. He’s such an asshole. I hate him. I’d love to get even with him. Hell, I’d love to be rich enough to throw the money he paid me back in his face, right in that fancy restaurant, in front of his date and call him out for paying a woman to sleep with him.

He definitely needs to be taken down a few pegs.

I can’t do that—for many reasons, the main one being that I don’t have the money. I can, however, make him my mark. I adjust the black wig that I’m wearing. It’s probably a bad idea, but the devil himself couldn’t talk me out of making Green my target.

The temptation is way too strong.

11

Green

“I love reggae. In another life, I ate, breathed and lived reggae, recorded music in the U.S. and London, as well as my home country of Jamaica. I’d like to think I helped change the world for the better through my music,” Honey says, but I blink, not quite understanding what she is saying.

“You’re from Jamaica?”

“I was born there.”

“Oh wow, I bet that was an amazing place to grow up. I’ve been there a couple of times.”

“It was nice,” she says, putting her fork down on the plate to look at me. Her face grows a little somber and I frown watching her. I can’t help but feel like something is not right here. “But, Jamaica back then is not the Jamaica it is now.”

“Oh, come on now,” I joke trying to lighten the mood. “You’ve barely started your thirties. Jamaica couldn’t have changed that much.

“Oh, I’m not talking about this life,” she says calmly. So calmly, in fact, that I have to look at her for a minute, because I seriously had to have heard her wrong.

“Come again,” I urge, thinking I truly must have missed something.

“I don’t like to tell people, Green. Fame can really do a number on you. It twists your soul around and fills your spirit with bad juju.”

“You were famous?” I ask, not willing to let it drop, although I should have.

I really should have.

“In my past life I was Bob Marley.”

She stares at me expectantly, like she told me the secret code to get into Fort Knox. I start laughing, shaking my head.

“Okay, Okay,” I tell her when I finally get myself under control. “That was funny. You almost had me going. My mother didn’t warn me you had such a wild sense of humor, Honey.”

“I wasn’t joking, Green. I’m completely serious. I was Bob Marley in one of my past lives.”

“In one of…. Which one? How many lives have you lived?” I ask like a fool. I look around the room, wondering if anyone else can hear? Maybe there are cameras put up and I’m on one of those reality shows. There has to be a logical reason.

There has to be.

“I’m on my seventh life. I’ve reached enlightenment, and I believe at the time of my death I shall arise to live with the Chosen.”

“The Chosen?”

“That’s what the souls are called who have learned everything they need to know to ascend to a higher calling.”

And she looked so normal.

“And you were Bob Marley during life…

“Number six, of course. I was born in the forties.”

“Of course you were. What year did Bob—you—die?”

“1981.”

“Were you a man or a woman in your other lives?”

“It varied. Who you are isn’t as important as what you learn, Green. We all have a purpose for being here. We need to fulfill that purpose to advance.”

“I see…”

“I’m sensing that you don’t truly believe me,” she says softly, putting her hand over mine. I move mine almost immediately. That’s rude I guess, considering she was probably royalty of some kind in one of her former lives.

“I find it hard to believe that the King of reggae music would come back as a woman named Honey,” I tell her honestly.

“Well, my full name is Honeysuckle Love.”

“Honeysuckle Love, now I understand.” I nod, things starting to become very clear.

“Understand what?”

“My mother is trying to matchmake us, right? You’re right up her alley, well except for that whole Chosen thing, I’m betting Mom wouldn’t go along with that, but your name? Yeah I could definitely see that.”

“Well, she warned me not to say anything, but I must admit I didn’t like starting our relationship off on the wrong foot.”

“Didn’t want you to say anything about what?”

“I answered the profile she made for you on my dating app,” she says, and I feel like my heart might have frozen mid-beat.

“A profile…?” I ask, although I’m not really asking her, I’m trying to figure it all out. She nods her head yes, regardless.

“For me,” I repeat. “A dating profile for me.”

I know my voice sounds stunned, because I am. Completely stunned. My mother has pulled a lot of shit over the years—mostly directed at my brothers, thank God, but this takes the cake over it all.

It. Takes. The. Cake.

I look over at Honeysuckle Love. Christ… Honeysuckle Love, to find her nodding her head still.

“A dating profile for me on a dating app?” I ask, needing her to confirm it all, if for no other reason than I need to make sure I understand completely before I kill my mother.

“Yes. Your mother has been really sweet. She said you wouldn’t like that she decided to help you get back out into the dating pool after your last relationship, so I was to keep it quiet. But really, I’ve already been granted a vision of where our relationship will go Green and I don’t want to start our lives together with a lie.”

“Our lives together?” Okay, I’ve gone from feeling like I can’t breathe to having chest pains. My mother set me up on a date with a certifiably insane woman. There’s no other explanation. If she pulls out a gun and tries to kidnap me, I swear to all that is holy, I will take off running and if Honey kills me, I will come back and haunt my mother constantly. Anytime she thinks she’s about to get lucky on that kitchen table, I’ll possess Hamburger and have him jump up on the table, spread eagle. I don’t know if a cow can do that, but I’ll fucking try it!

“We’re going to eventually marry. I saw it in a vision. We’ll be very happy together.”

Yep, crazy as a Bessie bug.

“Honey, you don’t even know me,” I tell her, thinking I can try to reason with her. That was probably a mistake.

“Maybe not one on one, but I do know you, Green. Our souls have been connected during each of my lifetimes.”

“They have? I don’t hardly see how that is possible.”

“You wouldn’t. You haven’t reached enlightenment yet, but don’t worry Green. Sometimes it takes people longer to find their way. That’s all. You’ve had problems growing spiritually, but together we will work through those issues. You will see. I believe that’s why we have been brought together this time as a man and a woman.”

“What were we last time?” I ask. I mean I shouldn’t encourage her. In all honesty, I should have taken off running the moment I found out I was sitting next to Bob Marley. Either that, or ask why the king of groove, and the writer of songs that were so profound they were ahead of his time, decided to come back as an obvious fruitcake with the name Honeysuckle Love. Still, this is like a train wreck, and I seem to be caught in the middle of it and I can’t stop myself.

“You were my dog.”

“Your… Okay, let me get this straight. In our past lives, you were freaking Bob Marley and I was… the damn dog?”

“Well, yes, but—”

“I was the damn dog,” I gripe, probably too loudly because everyone is looking at us now, but I can’t help it. “I was the damn dog,” I repeat.

“Green, perhaps—”

“What kind of dog was I?” I snap.

“I’m sorry?”

“What kind of dog was I?”

“You were a mixed breed really.”

“And what were those breeds?” I ask, needing to know, and having no idea why.

“You were part Chinese crest and part chihuahua.”

“What’s a Chinese crest?”

“Like a Chihuahua but your hair was long in the middle, you were black but your hair was gray. I always told everyone you were the canine version of Pat Morita.”

“The canine… Pat Morita…”

“The guy from Karate Kid?” she supplies helpfully.

“I know who Pat Morita is,” I growl, standing up. I am tempted to point out that Karate Kid didn’t even come out until after Bob Marley died. But I don’t. She’d probably tell me how she told everyone in the afterlife while she waited for her next fucking body.

“You shouldn’t be upset. You were a cute little thing. And I took you to the doctor for the drooling issue, although your tongue still stayed out all the time and lolled to the side. I think that was more habit than medical issue though,” she says gently like she’s trying to make me feel better. I can’t really take any more at this point, however.

I’m done.

“I need to go to the restroom for a minute,” I tell her, lying through my fucking teeth but not really giving a damn either.

“I can tell you’re upset,” she says, but I start shaking my head no before she can finish.

“Hell no. Why should I be upset? I just found out that I probably dry humped Bob Marley’s leg every time the man sung Is This Love! What’s to be upset about?” I stomp off, only looking over my shoulder once to make sure Honeysuckle Fruitcake isn’t following me. I only breathe a sigh of relief when I see her at the table, typing furiously on her phone. Hopefully she’s texting my mother to warn her I’m coming after her.

Somebody better.

“Listen, I’ve had an emergency come up and I need to leave. Can I leave you money for the food and also give you money to order the young lady I was with a cab and pay for it?” I ask the lady at the hostess station by the door.

“I can get the mana—”

“I don’t have time to wait. I really have to go. Surely you can handle it? I’m willing to leave extra money for you, since you’re going to all this trouble for me.”

“I guess that I can do it,” she finally agrees.

I’m so glad to hear her say yes that I could kiss her. I don’t because with my luck tonight she would think that means we’re married. It’s definitely better to be safe rather than sorry for the rest of the night.

After all, when I get a hold of my mother, all bets are off.

I’m going to kill her.

12

Kage

“Oh, lookie there,” I mock. “Asshole’s date doesn’t appear to be going that well. I wonder if he offered her money to sleep with him.” I keep my voice a whisper, especially since I’m talking to myself. I shouldn’t enjoy the fact that Green Lucas is having a miserable night, but I’m jumping for joy inside.

My eyes grow large as I see Green walking toward the door.

Is he walking out on her?

That’s kind of a dick move, but it works out great for me. I adjust the dress I’m wearing. It’s sexy, but much more uptown than I was wearing last time he met me. I also have a wig on tonight. I wasn’t working a con last time. I gave Green the real me, and stupid girl that I am, I thought he liked it. My mistake.

Tonight, is all about make believe. He’ll assume I have money like him. It’s amazing what clothes from a second-hand store in the city can get you. The shoes are from there too, a little scuffed but that’s okay, it merely helps the con. He stops to talk to the hostess, shelling out money to her. Is he paying her to join him later? My lips curl into almost a snarl.

I really hate this guy.

Instead, I place myself to the side of the entrance, right outside the front doors. Adrenaline fires through me and my palms go sweaty. I count backwards from ten, trying to control my breathing. I almost chicken out when the door finally opens. I keep my head down and then make sure that I walk directly into Green.

“Oh!” I cry, altering my voice enough to sound distressed. Green’s hands come up to each of my shoulders and he holds me still, his dark gaze coming up to look directly at me. I ignore the way my heart trips in my chest at being this close to him again. I also ignore the fact that he’s even more handsome than I remembered.

Damn him.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice full of what I am sure is fake concern.

“I didn’t see. I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you?” I murmur, keeping my gaze down enough to not meet his eyes.

“I’m the one who should be asking you that. Are you okay?” he asks again. My hands move to his hips, to get ready and make my move. I angle my neck where it looks like I’m trying to get my bearings, but in reality gives him a better view to see the deep open neckline of my red dress.

“I’m a little shook up. You’re very… solid,” I murmur, hoping against hope that I sound as if I’m flirting—instead of like I want to knee him in the groin and do irreparable harm.

He lets out a small laugh, his lips stretching into a smile that causes lines to crinkle in the corner of his eyes. When I first saw those lines, I thought they were sexy. I wanted to kiss every single one of them. Now? Now I want to gouge his eyes out. That, however, is not an option.

My next thought is that he’s going to make this easy for me. That hope is quickly dashed however, when he steps away from me. I immediately dive into plan B.

I take my hands away from him, then wobble unsteadily, bending my ankle as if it’s giving out on me. Immediately, Green grabs me again. He’s quick and his hold is so harsh that it’s almost bruising. I don’t want to like how it feels, so I remind myself of what an asshole he is and how he made me feel having someone kick me out of his hotel room because he didn’t have the balls to do it himself.

“Whoa,” he says, stepping into me. “Are you okay?”

“I think I’ve twisted my ankle,” I tell him.

“That’s not good. Let’s get you to the bench,” he says, and I lean on him as I fake hobble over to the bench. He helps me sit down and then makes my job so much easier—although I’m sure he didn’t mean to.

“Is that better?” he asks, kneeling down on his knee in front of me.

“It’s so painful. Do you think it’s broken?” I ask, sounding as if I’m dying—which is ridiculous. I can’t count the times I’ve limped home after a long shift at the diner.

“I don’t think so,” he grouses. His eyes dart quickly to the restaurant. I fight my own smile. He’s obviously worried his date will catch him out here with me. If that happened, it’d probably ruin my plans, but I would laugh just the same. Then, he bends deeper, lifting my foot. He turns it so gently that I barely realize he’s doing it. I hiss as if he is causing me great pain. My hand moves under his suit jacket. “How does that feel?” he asks, and I dig the nails of my left hand into his back, crying out as he twists my foot again. “Ow!” I cry out and dear Lord, you would think I was dying, but I move quickly. My gouging his skin with my nails serve as a distraction, letting my free hand slip in his pocket quickly and grab his money clip. I resist rolling my eyes. Most guys with loads of money use money clips. Someone should really inform them that wallets are much harder to pickpocket.

Oh well, that’s not my problem. I need this done so I can get away—preferably really quick.

“Does it hurt that bad?” he asks, and I see from his face that I might have egged on the theatrics a little too much.

“I know I sound like a big baby, but I’m healing from a skiing accident on that foot, it’s really tender,” I babble, hoping that will explain and stop him from getting suspicious.

“You must be one of those girls that like skiing on your winter breaks,” he says, and I blink.

“Something like that,” I tell him, my voice a little colder than I intended. Girl? I want to yell at him he thought me enough of a woman that he fucked me without a second thought—not to mention fucking me over.

I palm his money clip and then move my hand to the clutch I’ve laid beside me—with the top conveniently open.

Green stands up, glancing nervously at the door again.

“I’m sorry, am I keeping you from your date?” I ask, once the clip is secured and hidden in my purse.

“Actually, I’m anxious to get away from my date without a scene,” he says, surprising me because the big jerk is being honest.

“Date from hell?” I ask, feeling sorry for the woman in question.

“You have no idea,” he says.

“You can go. I’ll be fine. I’m going to sit here and rest. My date should be here any minute.”

“I can wait with you,” he says, and I panic as he acts like he might sit down beside me.

That’s the last thing I need.

“No, there’s no need. Honest.” I tell him, hoping I don’t sound like I’m panicking. “Russ will be here soon, besides my foot is already feeling better.”

“I was raised to never leave a woman alone at night. Too much could happen,” he says, and I frown. I want to ask him if he was raised to take a woman’s virginity while drunk and then throw her out of the bed.

But, I don’t.

Asking him that would serve no purpose. I just need him to get the hell out of here.

“Like what? I’m in a very well-lit area, in front of a popular restaurant and taxis go by constantly. I assure you I’m fine.”

“I don’t know,” he says, clearly not convinced.

“I’m afraid I must insist. You’re starting to worry me, insisting on staying. How do I know you don’t mean to cause me harm?” I ask, turning the tables back on him.

“You mean more than I’ve already caused?” he says giving a self-depreciating laugh that I’m sure many women would find sexy.

I refuse to.

“Right. Seriously, just go,” I tell him. “I’m more than fine. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time.”

“I find that hard to believe. You’re what? Sixteen?”

My eyes narrow, because that’s exactly what that guy in Green’s hotel room said and the reminder pisses me off.

“I can assure you I haven’t been sixteen for a long time.”

“How long?” he asks and shit, I can hear the interest in his voice. I need to find a way to stop this. I glance around, trying to think of anything that might make him leave. I smile as the answer becomes apparent.

“Is your date tall and skinny, with long brown hair,?” I ask, already knowing who she is, because I saw them together before Green came out.

“I…Yeah I guess, why?”

“If you’re leaving you should hurry, because your date is headed toward the door.”

“She’s… Fuck,” he growls. “Christ, I’m sorry, I need to go,” he says, still sounding torn.

“You better hurry,” I warn him, almost laughing because despite needing him to leave, I’d love to see what happens when she sees him. “She’s talking to the hostess now, and she doesn’t seem happy.”

“Okay, fine. Take care… Hey, what’s your name?” he asks. I frown. There’s no way I’m telling him my name. I don’t want to risk that it might jog his memory.

“Jane,” I tell him. “Jane Doe.” He’s already walking backwards, but I see the moment he gets my joke, because he laughs and shakes his head.

“Later, Jane.”

“Later, John,” I tell him, making him laugh harder. Then, he disappears down the street.

I refuse to like his laugh. Green Lucas sucks.

That’s all there is to it.

13

Green

Okay, I’m an asshole. I won’t deny that. But, there’s no way I was going to hang around with that woman and have her try to convince me she’s Bob Marley and decide I’m the sheriff—and not the deputy. The pun in my head would make me laugh, but I’m too busy thinking about the sexy woman in front of the restaurant.

Jane Doe.

I’m done with women, but if I was going to take a chance, it would be on that one. I wasn’t a fan of her hair. The dark color was almost too harsh for her pixie type face and pale features. Still, there was something about her eyes. She was young, too young for me, but you could see the world in those eyes. The girl had seen pain, that was clear to see. There was a haunted look that shined through, even when she was joking. I had the biggest urge to find out exactly what caused it.

Which is crazy.

It’s also the reason not knowing her name is probably a good thing.

No, that’s not it. It is a good thing. Definitely. It doesn’t matter how innocent the woman in question might be, and the woman I met definitely seemed innocent—completely different from Cynthia or Marissa.

That’s what it boils down to. Fuck, I’ll be thirty-four next month, and the only meaningful relationships I’ve had have been with two women who are toxic in every way you can imagine. Shit, they even make Honey-Bob-Marley look appealing.

I sit back in the cab and let out a long sigh. I took a cab from the restaurant, leaving my damn car. I’ll have to get it tomorrow. I didn’t want to take a chance of going home, just in case my mother told that crazy woman my address. So, I told the driver to take me to Dallas. He looked at me like I’m insane, but he didn’t argue too much. It takes over six hours and I offered him double his fare. I needed to get away. I have to be at the field extremely early in the morning. I’ll crash at Parker’s tonight. The asshole owes me a solid anyway.

He’s a rising star on our team and I have no doubt he’ll be taking my place on the field soon. I’ve accepted it. I’ve had a good run and honestly, at my age, pitching is fast becoming something that I can’t do as well as I once did. I used to have the fastest pitch on record. That speed was untouchable. These days, I’m barely getting in the same neighborhood.

I stare out the window, lost in my thoughts.

Time passes surprisingly fast. We stop a couple of times, but I don’t get out. When we make a stop at a gas station, I tell the guy to fill up and I go in to take a leak and grab some caffeine.

Once I take care of business, I wash my hands and go out to grab a couple cups of java, figuring the cabbie can use some too. I take it to the clerk, with a nod of acknowledgment.

“These and he’s getting gas on pump seven.”

“Fifty-five dollars,” the guy says, and I blink. The guy must have got the good stuff. Whatever. I hate to see what the cab fare is going to cost me, but since it meant I don’t have to take part in Crazy-palooza anymore, I don’t really give a damn.

I reach into the pocket where I put my money clip when I paid the hostess. I frown when it’s not there. I feel the attendant’s eyes on me, and I look up at him with a self-deprecating smile. “Wrong pocket,” I explain, but when I check the other one and it’s just as empty, I begin to panic.

Immediately I start fishing around in my pants pocket. My wallet is… is in my fucking car. Shit. I took it out when I used my card to gas up my car and didn’t put it back in, figuring I had my clip to pay cash. I know it’s a world that lives on plastic, but I like spending cash more, because credit cards make me uneasy—probably because Cynthia and Marissa both enjoyed burying me in debt with them.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” the cabbie growls, and my gaze jerks to him.

“I have it. My clip must have fallen out in the cab,” I explain, hoping like hell that I’m right.

“Motherfucker, you’re into me for over two grand.” I wince, because I knew it was a lot of money, but Jesus, I had no idea it would be that much cake. “I’m good for it. Let me go outside and check the cab. The clip has to be in there. You picked me up at the restaurant and I definitely remember putting it in my pocket there. Then, I got straight in the cab,” I tell him. Even as I’m explaining that, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

The girl at the restaurant.

I can still remember her hands on me as I was checking her foot out. Her hand which…

Was fucking close to my pocket, and apparently in it.

“Son of a bitch!” I yell, taking off running for the cab, wanting to prove myself wrong.

“Call the law,” I hear the cabbie snap, but I ignore him. I’ve got bigger worries.

I make it to the cab and tear the back seat apart, looking for my money clip that I know isn’t there. Still, I hope against hope I’m wrong.

I’m not.

“Son of a bitch,” I growl again, moving out of the back of the cab to stand up and pound on the top of the car. “I’m going to kill her. I’m going to fucking kill her!” I announce—which is probably not the wisest choice of words, considering when I look around there’s two cops standing beside a very irate looking cabdriver.

Shit.

14

Green

“Dude, seriously, who takes a cab all the way from Corpus Christi to Dallas?”

“You wouldn’t ask me that if you had the kind of night I had.”

“Oh no, bro, I’d still be asking.”

I look at my buddy Parker, that I was forced to call and bail me out of jail, giving him a look that I hope conveys the message for him to go fuck himself.

Jail.

I still can’t believe that damn cabbie had me thrown in jail. It’s not like I didn’t offer to pay him double whatever he felt I owed him. The asshole refused to drop the charges. If I had my hands on that girl, I’d choke her. At least then I’d be going to jail for a reason.

“I can’t believe this shit,” I mumble, looking down at the black ink on my fingers where I was fingerprinted.

Fingerprinted!

“Did they do a cavity search?” Parker asks, and I stop walking so quickly that he nearly runs into me.

“What the fuck?” I bark.

“What? It’s an innocent question. I’ve never been arrested. I’m curious.”

“I find that hard to believe,” I grouse, walking toward his big pickup. The thing is a monster with huge wheels and a lift kit added onto it. The guys on the team rag him all the time about it that he’s overcompensating, but he only laughs.

Truth is, I really like Parker. He’s a simple guy. He lives for two things. Ball and pussy.

“Man, don’t you ever get tired?” I ask him, once we climb in the truck.

“Huh?” he asks, starting up his loud as fuck truck. I don’t know how he doesn’t get pulled over for that alone.

“Of life. Same old shit all the time, that kind of thing.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say that, I mean, unless you’re saying you get arrested every day.”

“You know what I’m saying. Don’t you ever get tired of the bullshit? I swear it wouldn’t take me much to get Allen and disappear to some remote island or a cabin in Alaska.”

“Whoa, hold up. What about a woman? You’re going to need sex, bro.”

“No. Women fuck everything up. I’m done. That’s what tonight was all about.”

“Okay you lost me,” he says, taking the exit to merge back on the interstate.

“My mother set me up on a fucking blind date.”

“You agreed to that? Dude, you know your mother is… how do I say this nicely?”

“Special?”

“That’s one word. I was going for a few fries short of a Happy Meal.”

“That sounds like something she’d say.”

“That’s cold, Green.”

“Anyway, I didn’t know it was a blind date until later. I thought I was doing a friend of hers a favor by taking her daughter out. I should have known better.”

“Yeah, you really should have, that shit is lame. Were you dropped on your head too much as a baby?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your mother calls you up out of the blue and says, hey will you take my friend’s daughter out for the night? It would be doing me a big favor. I mean, c’mon, brother.”

I frown as I think over what he’s saying. Then my mind goes back to White.

“Motherfucker.”

“What now?” Parker asks.

“My fucking brother, that’s what. He called me last week and had me take out a friend of Kayla’s because they were out of town.”

Parker starts laughing his ass off and if he wasn’t driving, I’d probably deck him.

“Let me get this right,” he says, as he tries to control his laughter. “Your brother asked you to take a girl out last week and you didn’t find it odd your mother does the exact same thing not long after? Dude, you really were dropped on your head too much as a baby,” he says, and the dumbass starts laughing all over again.

“I’m going to kill him.”

“I thought you were going to kill the girl you went out on the date with. You’re going to need to hide a lot of bodies if you keep it up,” Parker says—still laughing.

“Not the date. The chick I met outside the restaurant. She seemed so nice and innocent.”

“The only innocent woman I’ve ever met is Faye, Finn’s little sister. She’s innocent, but it’s only because she’s too spoiled for a man to put up with her,” he mumbles, suddenly sounding annoyed.

“Yeah well, I said this girl seemed innocent. That was before I discovered she was a damn thief.”

“A thief?”

“She stole my damn money out of my pocket. That’s why I didn’t have the bucks to pay the cabbie.”

“Oh shit,” he says, trying to stifle a laugh—but failing.

“Yeah. So I’m going to kill her, then White and finally, I’ll plot revenge on my damn mother.”

Parker’s laughter gets on my nerves, so I reach over and switch the radio on.

Bob Marley starts singing through the damn speakers, begging for someone to send him the love he was created for. I turn it off quickly, letting out a long string of curse words.

“Not a Marley fan?” Parker asks.

“I was until I met him.”

“Fuck? Really, you met Bob Marley? That’s fucking awesome, bro. When did you meet him?”

“I met him tonight,” I tell him, not bothering to explain. I can feel Parker’s gaze on me, but I ignore him, choosing instead to look out the window.

“Definitely dropped on your head too much,” he says with a laugh.

I ignore him again, choosing to plan White’s demise in my head instead. I’m not sure what I’m going to do to him, but I’m going to make it hurt.

15

Kage

“You don’t look so good.”

I slowly open my eyes, as if that one simple movement would make my stomach churn again. My hands go to my stomach—just in case.

“I don’t feel so good,” I tell Russ.

We’re in the apartment, I have to work this afternoon and I really should have left about five minutes ago, but I was trying to lay here and let my stomach sort itself out, holding out hope that a miracle would happen and I’d inexplicably feel better.

Spoiler alert.

That hasn’t happened.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, and I hear the concern in his voice, and I hate that I’m worrying him.

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “I’m sick to my stomach. I’m thinking our late-night pizza didn’t agree with me,” I mumble. Since pulling our last con on Green, we had a little money left after bills, so I decided to grab a celebratory pizza. It’s Russ’s favorite food and I hadn’t had a bite to eat all day. It sounded like a good move. I was wrong.

So wrong.

“Maybe you should call in sick today, Kage.”

“You know my boss. If I called in sick, I wouldn’t have a job to go back to,” I half laugh, half moan, as I sit up on the bed.

My stomach churns and a fine sweat breaks out over my skin, but I don’t have to run to the bathroom like I did earlier, so I call it a win.

“Would that be so bad? I’ve been thinking it might be a good idea for us to move.”

“Move?” I ask, turning to look at him in confusion. This is new. That’s when I see the worry that is etched on Russ’s face. “What are you talking about?”

“I think that it would be safer for both of us if we moved away from here. You said yourself that you were tired of this place. What if we moved to Louisiana or something?”

“Russ we don’t have the money to be finding a new place. You know as well as I do that means first and last month’s rent in advance and usually a security deposit for a decent place.”

“We didn’t have to pay that here,” he replies stubbornly.

“Yeah well, this isn’t a nice place, but it’s ground floor and that’s a must for you because there are no elevators.”

“You’re always doing things because of me. All of this is my fault.”

My stomach nearly revolts, but I fight it down as I reach over to Russ and force him to look me in the face.

“What’s going on with you?”

“You’re going to get caught, Kage. You’re going to get into trouble and when you do, it will be all my fault.”

“Russ—”

“Don’t try to tell me to stop worrying, Kage.”

“But—”

“And don’t try reassuring me and telling me everything is going to be fine. There’s no way you can know that. What if that ball player guy recognizes you eventually? What if it all clicks in his mind, sometime down the road? We need to leave here,” he urges me.

“I’ll think about it,” I tell him.

There’s no danger in Green recognizing me. I was inconsequential to him, and that’s a truth that’s hard to swallow. But, the truth is there’s a part of me that wants to leave. I’m just as worried as he is.

Still, I wasn’t lying. It does take money to move and that’s not something we have. At best we would need money to travel. It’s not like we can take off down the road hitchhiking. It’s too dangerous for Russ, even going a few hours away with him takes a little planning. The fact that most buses are now handicap accessible helps, but traveling is a challenge.

“That sounds like no,” he mutters, rolling his chair away from me.

“It’s not a no. I promise I’ll think about it,” I respond, unable to keep my frustration out of my voice as I stand up. When I do, my stomach revolts.

“Kage?” I hear Russ call, but I’m too busy running to the bathroom.

After I finish emptying the contents of my stomach—what was left of them, Russ has somehow managed to wheel his chair in the small bathroom even with me in here. He hands me a wet washcloth and I take it with a hushed thanks.

“You can’t work like this,” he says. He’s right. Going into the diner right now would end in disaster.

“I’ll call Lydia and see if I can trade shifts with her. It’s late notice, but she will probably agree,” I tell him.

“That means you’ll be working until two in the morning Kage,” he cautions, worrying about me walking home alone that time of night.

“It’s the best I can do, squirt,” I tell him and try to give him a reassuring smile. “Let me get up from here and brush my teeth, then I’ll try and trudge out to the hall to use that ancient payphone.”

Russ frowns at me, but he doesn’t argue any more. I manage to get to the payphone and make my call. These things are ancient artifacts. The owner only keeps this one because the majority of us tenants can’t afford cellphones, and this is his way of getting even more of our money. Lydia agrees, as I knew she would. She lives really close to the diner, but hates working the graveyard shift. So do I, but I’m hoping against hope that by tonight I’ll feel better. I realize this is probably karma for doing what I did last night, but there’s not much I can do. I’m trying to survive and make sure Russ is okay.

That’s all I can concentrate on. I don’t have time for guilt.

16

Green

One Week Later

“I HAVE no idea what you’re being so sour about, Green. I swear the older you get the more you start acting like Gray and White.”

“Hey!” White growls, “I’m nothing like Gray, Mom.”

“Whatever you say son,” Mom says patting him on the wrist, but the look on her face explains that she doesn’t believe him at all. Mom’s an expert at getting messages across without one word. I frown at both of them.

“Well, out with it, Green House,” Mom demands, leaning back against the cushioned seat. We’re in a corner booth at a little diner in downtown San Antonio. I can’t say as I’ve been here before, it’s not my usual kind of place, but I needed somewhere to talk to Mom and White and set them straight. They came out to the field during practice. So once it was done we decided to grab some food. Besides, I thought being somewhere public might help me keep my temper in check. Although to be honest, there’s still a chance I might choke my brother. The thought has kept me smiling for days—ever since I discovered what they’d done.

“You swore you’d never call me that again,” I remind her quietly.

“Pfft,” she says waving me off. I frown. I’m not sure how to get my message across. I can see the wariness in my brother’s face. I’m pretty sure he knows what’s up, but I’m equally sure he doesn’t really give a shit either.

“I wanted you two to be the first to know that I’m getting married.”

“What?” Mom screeches.

“Get the fuck out of here,” White growls, disbelief thick on his face and laced in his words.

“I’m serious,” I tell him plainly. “I’ve decided to get married.”

“Yeah right. Pull the other leg, Green. I don’t know what you got up that sleeve of yours, but I’m not buying this shit.”

“I’m completely serious, White. I’m getting married.”

“Who are you marrying?” Mom asks, her eyes narrowing.

“Honey Love.”

“Who?” White barks, looking completely shocked. Hmmm… maybe he didn’t know about the second blind date.

“Green,” Mom says, her eyes troubled.

“Honeysuckle Love, White. You’ll love her when you meet her. She’s special, completely unique,” I tell him, and I’m not lying at all, so maybe that’s why I can keep my face straight and serious.

“Green, maybe we should talk about this,” Mom says, and I swear I think I see her face get pale.

“There’s nothing to talk about. It’s decided and Mom, I have you to thank for it.”

“You do?” White says, starting to sound suspicious.

“I do. She set me up on a blind date with Honey. When I heard her name, I started to run away, but then we started talking and I realized that we actually had quite a bit in common.”

“You did?” Mom asks, and I could be wrong, but I think I hear panic in her voice.

“Like what?” White asks. “Weird as fuck names?”

“Watch your mouth, White Hall,” Mom growls, not happy with that, even as she is panicking and watching me closely. “You both have beautiful names. I don’t know why you have to be such assholes about it.”

“Well, I think part of that is that I was too judgmental and rigid in a former life. I’m going to work to correct that in this one.”

“I’m sorry?” White questions, and it takes all I have not to laugh at the look on his face.

“Honey has been helping me understand that we carry the burdens of our former lives into the life we have now, and we have to use that to grow and better ourselves before reaching enlightenment.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure you’ve been lighting something,” White responds. In return, I give him what I hope is a serene smile.

“You’re screwing with me, Green House Lucas.”

“But I’m not, Mom. I’m being completely serious. That’s part of what drew me and Honey together. You see, in her former life she was too free, so she’s trying to become more solidified in this world. Where I need to do the complete opposite. It’s why our souls are always drawn to one another, really.”

“Have you been drinking?” Mom growls.

“I don’t think they make alcohol strong enough to cause this shit, Mom,” White grumbles.

“It’s okay if you don’t understand, clearly you’ve not grown enough personally to get where I am.”

“And where are you, Green? The land of Fruit Loops?”

“I’m working hard to overcome my past life.”

“Your past life? Do you think you can dumb it down for us poor folk who are only trying to live in the here and now?” White snaps.

“In my past life, I lived my life doing whatever I was told, fetching this or that for whoever demanded it. I had no ambition. I was willing to settle for whatever love someone gave me. I let them take me for granted and I ate shit my entire life,” I tell him, rather proud of myself for stringing the asshole along. I’m mostly making shit up, but I figure that’s a fair description of a dog’s life.

“And you’re not doing that in this life? Because it seems to me that’s exactly what Cynthia has done to you, Green House,” Mom mumbles, proving she’s not about to pull punches, even if she thinks I might be going insane.

“I’m not. I’m a different person in this life and though I may have started off with some of the same habits, I’m evolving. Now that I’m back with Honey, our souls will grow together.”

“It’s too fucking late for this, Green.” White rubs his hand over his face, clearly exasperated.

“Here are your burgers,” the waitress says putting our food on the table. “Can I get you some refills?” she asks, having no idea that she interrupted me right when I was about to throw down. I breathe through my annoyance.

“I’ll take another coffee, Sweetie,” Mom says, tearing her gaze from me to give her a smile.

“You got it. I’m afraid I’m getting ready to clock out for the night, but Kage, my replacement will be out in a bit and I’ll have her bring you a fresh coffee.”

“Sounds good,” she says.

Kage… That name is unusual, but it definitely sounds familiar. I shrug it off, because I remember I was with that chick a couple of months ago. Was her name Kage? Nah… Katie, that was it. I don’t remember much about that night, but I do remember it was a fucking good night. At least she didn’t seem to be insane, although I didn’t take time to get to know her. She probably was. I’m convinced all women are at this point, even my mom. Although her crazy is quirkier and more eccentric.

I shake the thought aside and wait.

“So, you’re saying this girl whoever she is—”

“Honeysuckle Love,” I supply. I have to admit that it’s really hard to keep from smiling now.

“I’m not even…” he says, “I’m not going there. So this girl has you convinced you are soulmates from a former life? That’s what you’re saying right? Or at least, that’s what I seem to be understanding.”

“That’s the condensed version, yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. What was your name?” White asks. I frown. Trying to think of a name. Finally, I shrug and let it fly.

“Scooby.”

“Scooby?” Mom barks—pun intended.

“Scooby,” I respond again, crossing my arms at my chest and eyeing them both.

“Scooby? Now you’re being ridiculous, Green. Are you saying you were a dog? What the heck was Honey?” Mom asks, and she sounds annoyed, but I’m not imagining the panic in her eyes.

“She wasn’t an animal. She was human,” I respond…waiting.

“You were soulmates, but you were the dog? Let me guess, was she Shaggy?” White asks, shaking his head in either disgust or disbelief, I can’t tell which.

“She was Bob Marley.”

“I… You’re shitting me with all this, right?”

“No. In fact, I’m guessing that’s why she thought we would get along so well in the first place.”

“Green—” Mom starts to talk, and now I definitely see the panic on her face, but I don’t let her. I push forward, laying my cards on the table.

“I mean, how could she not? When my fucking dating profile says I love music, specifically Bob Marley.”

“Oh shit,” White says, because now he knows that I know. He just doesn’t know what I’m going to do to him. I don’t know that either and if you think that sounds confusing, you should try being in my damn head.

17

Ida Sue

“So, you know,” I mutter, I figured that was what this shit show was about. Mostly I’m relieved. I liked that little girl well enough, but not for my boy. I only set them up because I was hoping it would distract Green from that free-range witch he’s been dealing with. Honey took free thinking to the next level. I’m not discounting everything she believes, but it’s too out of the box for my Green. My boys—as much as they would argue—are simple in their wants and needs. It’s the women that will make them happy that happen to be extraordinary. My girls? That’s a horse of a different color. My girls are beautifully unique. They got an extra dose of their mother in them. They need a man who can bend and adapt to that. A man like my Jansen, who loves my crazy, feeds it, and encourages me to be who I am.

God I love that man.

“Didn’t you think I would? Jesus, Mom, what were you thinking?”

“I was thinking my boy doesn’t have the brains God gave a goose when it comes to women,” I grouse. “I’ve had enough of your attitude. Maybe if you showed that you had the tiniest bit of brain cells when it came to dealing with women, I’d not have to resort to this crap,” I add in a huff.

“No one asked you to butt in, Mom. It may come as a surprise to you, but I’m thirty-five. I’m old enough to run my own life. I don’t need you to step in and fuck it up.”

“Brother, watch yourself,” White growls under his breath.

“No, you’re right Green. You don’t need me to do that, because you do enough to screw it up all by yourself,” I respond. For a second, I see shame bloom over his face, making me feel marginally better. You better freaking believe I’ll be adding on the guilt to that boy that it will be the longest trip he has been on. When he was little I’d rap his mouth for disrespecting his momma. Now, I find guilt does more to get their heads out of their asses. Besides I am meddling, but then, you have to break a few eggs to make a good omelet. Raising grown children is basically the same principal.

“White, you stay out of this. I’ll deal with you next,” Green snaps.

“Yeah, White Hall, I mean how dare you help your brother get over dealing with his cunt-muppets, especially since he hasn’t managed to do it on his own in all of his thirty-five years,” I mutter, getting up from the table.

“Damn it, Mom, where are you going?”

“I’m going to the restroom, Green House, or do you think I’m not sane enough to get there on my own?”

“God da—”

I slap my hand down on the table, so hard that pain shoots up my arm. Getting old sucks, dang it.

“Don’t you say it. You’re not too old that I can’t wash your mouth out with soap, boy. You’ve got enough bad luck on your tail, without adding taking our Lord’s name in vain to it,” I demand.

I stomp off then, before I reach over and bang his head against the table, hoping to knock some sense into his pea-sized brain. Of all of my kids, Green is probably the most stubborn… well except for Blue and Cyan… and maybe Maggie…then, possibly Mary.

Shit. Any possible way I look at it, I’m going to have my hands full when it comes to getting the rest of my kids’ heads out of their asses so they can finally find their happily ever after.

This used to be fun. Gray and White were much easier to manage. Maybe I need a break, but I’m dang good at matchmaking. Green’s got some friends on his team that could use a good push in the right direction. I doubt they’d be so quick to look at me for someone to blame, too.

I need to think about this, because Lord knows I’m going to need a vacation before I try to tackle Blue’s messed up head. Poor Meadow is grieving over that man and he can’t even see it.

I take my time in the restroom, mostly because I know guilt will begin to settle inside of Green by the time I get out of there. My boy is not a bad boy. He just can’t see the forest for the trees sometimes—especially when it comes to women. What he needs is a woman who doesn’t think of herself first, because Lord knows that’s been his downfall. It’s alright for a woman to put herself first sometimes, this world can chew you up and you have to stand up for yourself. But, the women that Green has dealt with think the world owes them for breathing. It’s disgusting.

I’ve put it off as long as I can, however. It won’t take long before Green will come and find me. He hates the mere idea that he hurt me. Me knowing that is the only thing that kept me from putting the fear of Jesus into him.

As I walk outside, I stop when I hear a woman almost whispering to my right. Something about the broken sound of her voice pulls at my heart.

“Kell, I need this job. Without it, I can’t afford to pay for Russ’s insulin. As it is now, I can barely keep my head above water.”

I frown. God forgive me, eavesdropping is usually a bad thing, but sometimes you can’t help it. I frown at the cold, harsh voice that comes back at her. I don’t know who that man is, but obviously his momma failed somewhere.

“Listen, Kage. I like you. I really do and I think it’s damn admirable that you’re trying to be that boy’s guardian, but he’s dragging you down. You’re never going to do anything other than live a life that will break you if you don’t cut him loose.”

“Russ is my brother,” the girl argues, and damn if I don’t feel indignant on her behalf.

“He’s not your brother. You’re not even blood related and he’s dead weight, kid. Cut him loose. You’re too young to live like you do.”

“Russ is my family. The only family I’ve ever known. I will always take care of him,” she vows. I know nothing about the girl standing at the office door, other than she has a crapload of thick, curled, red hair. Ever since Green’s Cynthia, I’ve not been a fan of the color, but I have to admit it’s beautiful. None of that matters, however, because even if I don’t know this girl, I’m feeling pride in her. More people in today’s world need that sense of responsibility. It would have been nice if my parents had felt it…

I continue listening, but it doesn’t take long. The girl is fired. My heart hurts for her. She sounds so miserable and lost. That’s a feeling I know too damn well.

Someone needs to step up and help this little girl and her brother. There’s no one here but me, so it looks like I’m elected….

18

Green

I’m a fucking asshole.

I know that even before White puts in his two cents.

“You’re a fucking asshole,” he growls, and I start to roll my eyes, but end up closing them before I look at him.

“I was mad,” I tell him, as if that explains the reason for taking Mom’s head off. I know she means well, I do. But fuck…

“I’ve been there, but there’s something you need to realize, brother.”

“What’s that?” I ask, looking out the window and waiting for Mom to come back. I’m going to have to apologize to her for snapping, but figure out some way to make it clear to her that she needs to try and contain herself and stay out of my relationships—not that I plan on having any in the future. I don’t think she’d like to hear about my plans of becoming a monk, however. She has this thing about thinking all of her children need to procreate.

“Mom’s had a hand in matchmaking in some pretty fucking awesome relationships.”

“That doesn’t count. I mean, Gray found CC on his own, and you and Kayla were friends forever, White.”

“True, but—”

“Same with Black and Addie. And Mom hated Luka, remember?”

“There’s no talking to you, you’re bound and determined to cut your nose off to spite your face.”

“God, now you sound like her. While we’re on the subject, White, do you want to tell me how you got roped into this mess? What happened to the brother code between us?”

“I didn’t join this willingly, but I don’t necessarily disagree with Mom. You have to admit you’ve let Cynthia fuck you over again and again.”

I frown and look back out the window. I think over my words, trying to figure out exactly what I want to say. Finally, I shrug and turn to look at him.

“You wouldn’t understand,” I tell him, because honestly I don’t think I understand myself.

“Try me,” White dares.

“You have Kayla, she’s in your blood.”

“Fuck, yeah, she is,” he says. He sounds so satisfied it’s sickening. I’m glad he’s happy, but he has no idea the emptiness I feel in response to that. I want what he has, what my brothers have, but it’s not in the cards. I’ve failed to give Allen the mother he deserves. I kept trying to help Cynthia be the woman she was when I first met her. I wanted to be the man that healed her. I wanted to be the one who was there for her.

Because I was stupid. Because I bought her lies again and again.

“Cynthia got in my blood years ago, and I kept hoping that I could bring her back to the person she used to be. I thought I could. Turns out that I’m not the man to do that. That I’m not strong enough to heal her,” I tell White, putting words to feelings that have been inside of me forever, but I’ve never let out. I feel like a schmuck and I wait for White to add to that. When he doesn’t immediately respond, I look up at him. I don’t know what I expected, but the seriousness in his gaze wasn’t it.

“You can’t heal someone, Green. They have to want to change and heal themselves. That’s the only way it will work.”

“She says she does, now.”

“Christ, Green. Please tell me you’re not falling for her bullshit again.”

“It’s not like that. I helped her get into rehab, but that’s it. I’m… I’m done, I swear. That ship sailed before I took her back the last time and I knew it, even before she showed me it was hopeless.”

“And if rehab helps her?” White asks, studying me closely.

“It doesn’t matter for me. It’s over. She knows that.” I rub my face in frustration, hating talking about this shit, but needing to at the same time. “White, man, I’m tired. Bone deep, fucking tired. You know? And it’s not this shit with mom. I met a girl last week,” I tell him, grudgingly.

“Well, damn, Green! Why didn’t you say so. I’m happy for you—”

“It’s not like that,” I hasten to correct him. “She’s not a good woman.”

“Fuck. Another one? What, do you have like a beacon or something for these bitches?” White bellows.

I give a dry chuckle that in no way is joyful. “I’m beginning to think so,” I respond. “This girl though, I thought she was different. She was young—way too young for me, but she was funny and she seemed almost innocent. I liked her, probably more than I should have.”

“What happened?”

I look at White and let out a sigh. “She was a con artist. Took all my cash and I didn’t even know it—at least not until I was almost to Dallas and couldn’t buy gas or pay my damn cab fare.”

“Oh shit,” White exclaims, and I can tell he’s trying not to laugh, but he’s failing. “What happened?”

“The cabbie pressed charges and I cooled my heals in jail overnight until Parker came and got me out.”

White loses it then, he starts laughing and I can do nothing but stare at him and contemplate strangling him with my bare hands.

19

Kage

I close the door to Kell’s office, swiping at the tears on my face and sniffing. I don’t know how I’m supposed to work out my shift. I don’t think I can. I don’t know how to hold it together. I also know, however, that if I don’t finish my shift, Kell won’t pay me. That’s just facts. I need him to pay me, if for no other reason than I need a little money in case the other diners and fast food joints won’t hire me. Maybe Russ is right, and we need to move. There’s a chance a change of scenery might change our luck—not that I believe in luck. I’ve never had any, really.

“Oh!” I gasp out as I run into a woman who is standing by the ladies restroom. I was so deep in thought and so busy crying that I didn’t even see her. Her hand comes up to hold my arm as if to steady me. “I’m sorry,” I say, sniffing and trying to hide my face so she can’t see me crying. “I didn’t see you,” I mumble. I move to go around her, but she doesn’t let go of my arm.

“Are you okay?” she asks. I’m pretty sure we both know the answer to that question, but I merely shrug.

“I’m fine. Sorry for almost mowing you over,” I tell her, and again I go to move around her—and again she doesn’t let me go.

“I overheard you in there,” she says, and if the ground would open up and swallow me whole, I wouldn’t complain a bit. I don’t know how to respond to that, however. I mean, it’s clear she was eavesdropping, but it’s equally clear she’s trying to be thoughtful right now, even if that is weird.

“I need to get back out front,” I tell her, and this time I pull my arm out of her surprisingly firm hold. I get around her and I’ve taken about three steps before she stops me.

“My daughter-in-law owns a restaurant,” she announces.

I’m still drying my eyes, but her words cause me to look up at her.

“She does?” I ask, and I hate that my voice sounds hopeful, but why else would she be telling me that?

“She does. It just so happens that she’s currently looking for a good waitress.”

“Thank you so much for letting me know,” I tell her, and this time I’m the one holding her hand. “If you let me know the name of the place, I can go by first thing in the morning to put in an application.”

“I doubt you’ve heard of it, it’s a small, family owned bistro, but the hours are good, the pay is too. Plus, you can keep all tips. Of course, not a lot of folks tip in Mason, but those that do try to make up for the ones that don’t,” she rattles. I sift through her words and frown.

“Mason?”

“Mason, Texas. That’s where the job would be.”

“Uh…I don’t live in Mason.”

“I know that, dear. You don’t right now, but you could.”

“I…thank you for the offer, but I’m going to try and find something close to home,” I tell her, letting go of her arm.

The woman has to be crazy. There can’t be another explanation. Who else would offer you a job in a town you’ve never heard of?

“You should reconsider,” she tells me, as I turn to look at her.

“Ma’am, I’m sure you mean well, but I live here. I don’t even know where Mason, Texas is. I can’t move there.”

“Mason is a small town, it’s not so far from Dallas,” she supplies helpfully, like that will make a difference. Instead, it kills any hope I had lurking inside of me.

“There’s no way I can move that far. Thank you anyway,” I tell her, turning to leave.

“Why couldn’t you? It doesn’t sound like you have anything here, holding you back, Poppy.”

“Poppy?” I ask blinking.

“It’s a type of red flower. Not the prettiest flower, but it’s hearty. It can thrive in sunlight and some shade, doesn’t need a lot of watering and always adds color to your garden.”

“Umm…okay,” I mumble, thinking she might have just insulted me. “Anyway, I don’t have any way to move that far. My brother is in a wheelchair and traveling with him is challenging. Wherever I do move, I’d like to take what little stuff I have with me, and I don’t have a truck.”

“That seems like a bunch of reasons we can work around,” she says, waving her hand like I’m not making any sense.

“We can?” I ask, wondering if I’m being punked.

“Yep, you and me, well with a little help from one of my sons.”

“You don’t know me,” I remind her.

“You’re down on your luck and even your boss said he liked you and you were a good kid. Now, I don’t think much of him, from what I heard, but I have to admit, I do have a good feeling about you. That’s all I need to know.”

“But,” I start again. “You don’t know me.”

She smiles. It’s a calming smile and instead of thinking she’s insane, I start to wonder if I am.

“I know these things, Poppy. I trust my gut.”

“Okay, well then, I don’t know you,” I tell her.

“Then maybe you should go with your gut,” she says, like that’s so simple. “Have you got a pen and paper?” she asks, and I find myself handing her my pen and order pad without even thinking. “Now, I’m going to write two numbers down here. I want you to call the first one. Tell them that Ida Sue has offered you a job at the Bistro in Mason and you’re wondering if it’s legit and would like a reference on my character. When you call, it will be the Mason police department. Now, anyone there can vouch for me, but it might be best if you ask for the sheriff. You might believe him more,” she says, all while writing—as if all of this is perfectly sane and logical.

“Okay,” I mumble, taking the paper, not truly knowing what I’m going to do.

“The other number is my cell. I’ll be in Dallas at my boy’s house visiting with my grandbabies tonight. If you decide you want to come back to Mason with me, you call me and I’ll make sure my boy brings his truck, and we’ll come out and fetch you and your brother.”

“Ma’am—”

“Ida Sue,” she says.

“I’m sorry?”

“That’s my name, remember? Ida Sue.”

“Ida Sue,” I respond. “I’m sure you mean well and this is really, really nice of you, but I don’t have the money to move. Even if I did scrounge up enough money and courage to move that far, without knowing how I was going to buy groceries or survive with Russ in tow, I don’t have a place to live in Mason.”

“There’s an apartment above the restaurant. You can have that, we’ll take your rent out of your check.”

“Are you a serial killer trying to lure me to my death?” I ask without even blinking.

“Now, Poppy, do I look like a serial killer?” she asks with a laugh.

“Maybe like the old woman who wanted to cook Hansel and Gretel? No one thought she was a serial killer either,” I mumble.

“How much is your final check?” she asks, ignoring the fact that I likened her to a woman who liked to cook and eat innocent children.

“I get paid cash every night,” I tell her, then shake my head, wondering why I answered her.

“So how much would you have made tonight?” she asks.

“Tips and all? Around fifty I guess,” I respond, thinking since it’s the graveyard shift, I’m being overly generous, but a girl can hope.

“Fine and dandy,” she says, reaching into her pocket. She pulls out a wadded up fifty and a twenty from her pocket and hands them to me. “Walk out and leave that horse’s behind in there high and dry, because honey you do look like death warmed over. Go rest for the night and call that one number first thing tomorrow, then call and let me know what you decide.”

“I—”

“Don’t disappointment me, Poppy! I’m counting on you,” she calls, walking around me and disappearing back outside. I stand there, wondering if I’m on an old episode of the Twilight Zone…

20

Green

“What are you up to, Mom?”

“Nothing at all, what do you mean, Green?”

“That!” I announce in victory. “That right there. You do not call me Green when I’ve upset you. You always add my middle name. You’re up to something!”

Mom turns to look in the backseat of White’s pickup and stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. I probably have, but if I have it’s because of her! She’s driving me crazy.

“You really should get more sleep, baby,” she says.

I don’t respond because I have no idea what to say to that. If I tried, my head would probably explode. Mom is definitely up to something. I have no idea what. When she came back from the restroom, I expected this huge guilt trip. Instead, she was nice, sweet and happy. Mom is many things, but I can’t remember a time in my life when anyone could describe her as sweet—especially after one of us has upset her, or in my case hurt her.

Plus, she didn’t even stay to let us finish eating. She wanted to leave right then, mumbling something about not doing business with a man who would hurt innocent little Poppy flowers. I would have asked her if she was drinking, but I figured I’d done enough damage for one day.

“I needed to finish my food,” I complain, although really I’m not that hungry, it’s been a messed-up couple of months. Hell, it’s been messed up ever since I took Cynthia back and then found her putting the moves on one of my teammates. Then, I ended up helping her get into rehab, and I hope it’s a success, but knowing Cynthia she is doing it to try and prove to me that she’s fine. It won’t work. I wasn’t lying to White. I truly don’t care, that book is closed—well and truly closed.

“You’ll have to grab something at home after we drop you off,” Mom says, like she doesn’t really care. Maybe she is still upset with me. “White? I may need you to help me in the morning before we head to Mason.”

“Help you?” White asks, briefly taking his gaze from the road.

“Well, not me specifically. A friend of mine. Her and her brother are moving to Mason and I volunteered to help them in the morning.”

“You volunteered to help them, or you volunteered me to help them,” White laughs, shaking his head.

“Tomato, Potato,” she half-laughs out, waving her hand.

“It’s tomato, toe-mot-toe,” I mumble, but she ignores me.

I knew she would.

“I guess I can. We can get Calder to help,” White responds.

“Oh, that would be splendid! Poppy’s brother will like Calder.”

“Poppy?” I frown as I try to sort through my mom’s words so I can figure out what she’s up to now.

“My friend, Green. She was a very nice waitress at the diner, and she was fired because she was too sick to work. It’s shameful. You know what I should do? I should open another Lucas Family Bistro in San Antonio. You’re always there. We could spend more time together that way.”

“No,” I state. “You shouldn’t do that.”

“Well, why on earth not?” Mom gasps.

“For one, you don’t live in San Antonio!”

“I don’t have to live in San Antonio to have a business there, Green House!” she gripes.

“See? You use my whole name when you’re upset with me. You’re planning something, Mom.”

“Oh, dear Lord in heaven.”

“If you have it on your mind to set me up with this Poppy person you can just forget it. I’m done dating, but even if I wasn’t, the very last person on earth I’d ever look at is someone you picked up in a diner because her name was a dang flower!”

“You don’t have to worry about that son,” she mutters, shaking her head.

“I don’t? Why not?” I ask, my eyebrow raising up in question, because really that was just too easy when it comes to my mother.

“Because I would never put my pig-headed, insufferable son on that poor girl. Besides you’re too old for her.”

“I… I’m too old?” I grumble, going from a bit of fear that my mother might be trying to fix me up with some unknown woman, to being upset that she thinks I’m old. I’m not that old damn it. “I’m not old!” I huff out finally, and I ignore White laughing. “Your friend Poppy would be lucky if I gave her the time of day. You know, Mom, it might surprise you, but I’m not a bad catch for a woman!”

“Of course not, Green, but it’s clear you don’t want my help finding a woman and Poppy is too innocent for the likes of you. No, my Poppy needs someone sweet and thoughtful.”

“Now hold on, I can be sweet and thoughtful,” I argue, which for some reason causes Mom and White to both start laughing. “Well, I can,” I huff, giving up.

“What about your friend Parker, Green? He’s single right? He was always such a nice boy.”

“Parker Raines?” I cry out. White laughs harder. “Mom, Parker is the biggest horn dog on the team,” I explain. “How you can think he’d be better for any girl over me is insane,” I point out.

“You know, Green House, for someone who doesn’t want me to fix them up, you sure are whining about me not picking you for my Poppy,” Mom says.

“She’s got a point there, brother.”

“Stay out of this, White,” I mumble. “I don’t want you to pick me, Mom. I’m just saying Parker isn’t a wise choice either. And you don’t know anything about this girl. What if she’s a crook? San Antonio is full of them you know. All of Texas is.”

“She’s a young girl down on her luck, Green,” Mom chastises.

“That could be a front to lure you in so she can rob you blind,” I bark, thinking back on the woman with jet black hair that I thought might have been innocent… I’m such a damn idiot when it comes to women.

“Or, maybe there are really good people out there, Green House. I swear you make my head hurt. I wouldn’t wish that on any woman, especially poor little Poppy. That girl has had enough heartache.”

“How do you know that?” I exclaim, so irritated that my voice almost cracks from the need to yell at her. “You don’t even know her, mom!”

“I saw it in her eyes!”

“You’re insane.” If I was able I’d punch White who is not even bothering to hide his laughter over all of this. Asshole.

“If I am, my children—specifically you—have made me that way. And if I am, I guess it’s a good thing that I’ve given up trying to set you up with a woman,” Mom says, managing to sound offended and sanctimonious all at the same time.

“I guess it is,” I mumble.

“Good. I’m glad we can agree,” Mom announces. “Now, how about Finn on your team? He’s a sweetheart. Is he dating anyone?”

Kill me now.

21

Kage

“I…” I start to talk, but I have trouble forming words.

Today has been a whirlwind and I’m still not sure I’m doing the right thing. It seems too good to be true. I’ve backed out a hundred times, but the reason I went through with it in the end was Russ. He asked me to. I’m still not convinced it’s going to be as wonderful as that woman promised or Russ believes, but there’s one thing I do know.

It isn’t that great in San Antonio, and I do need to try and find a life that doesn’t involve me stealing money and possibly ending up in jail. If that happened, Russ would be left alone and I can’t allow that to happen.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” I finally whisper, my throat tight because I’m choked on emotion. I look behind us at the truck. Russ is in there. Ida Sue called it the man vehicle. Russ is talking to a kid that appeared close to his age, named Calder. They hit it off and he didn’t make Russ self-conscious about being in his wheelchair. It’s a small thing, but it’s something that happens to him often.

A guy name White, who is apparently Ida Sue’s son, his boy Calder, Ida Sue, and her daughter-in-law, Kayla, all showed up around noon. I called Ida Sue late last night and thanked her for the opportunity. I told her if she was serious that I’d love the help. I don’t know what I expected, but it surely wasn’t this. I look over at the toddler in the car seat beside me. I feel like I’m on an episode of an old sitcom. How can these people be so impossibly nice and sweet? How can they trust a stranger, someone they don’t even know?

Would they feel different if they knew the things I do to make sure Russ gets his insulin?

“Don’t mention it, Poppy. That’s what friends are for,” Ida Sue says, with a grin.

“You do know my name is Kage, not Poppy, right?” I ask, because the whole calling me Poppy thing has me all confused.

“She knows, she just doesn’t care,” Kayla says from the driver’s seat. “It’s her way of welcoming you to the family,” she adds, and for a second it feels like my heart stops.

“Of all my daughters, Kayla here is my favorite,” Ida Sue confides.

“You tell all your daughters, sons, and in-laws that we’re your favorite, Ida Sue,” Kayla laughs.

“Well, it’s usually true at the time, until one of you numbskulls screw it up,” she shrugs. “Besides, Poppy fits you better than Kage. Where did you get that name?” Ida Sue questions.

“My mother. I barely remember her. She hung around until I was about five or six. I can remember her saying I’d ruined her life and she wanted to be free. Maybe she thought I was a cage for her and she wanted out. Who knows?” I murmur, glossing over information that has marked me in ways that most people couldn’t fathom.

“That’s like me telling little Maxie that. I couldn’t imagine. Your mother is a…,” Kayla breaks off, looking in the rearview mirror. “An Ursula.”

“An Ursula?” I ask, confused.

“Maxie is big on the Little Mermaid movie right now,” Ida Sue responds. “We try not to curse in front of her, because the little scamp likes to say words she knows she shouldn’t.”

“I don’t,” Maxie mumbles, smiling at me. “But Ursula is e-bel.”

I smile, despite feeling lost and nervous. She really is a beautiful child.

“Is she? I haven’t seen the movie,” I tell her smiling, reaching out to touch her leg, but stopping because I’m not sure I should. If they knew who I really was and the things I’ve done, they probably wouldn’t want me near little Maxie, let alone sitting in the backseat with her.

“You haven’t watched it?” Ida Sue and Kayla both ask in unison.

“Uh… no. Russ and I don’t have television and the orphanage wasn’t really big on television either,” I explain, feeling heat on my cheeks.

“Orphan-ge?” Maxie asks.

“Yeah, that’s where I grew up,” I tell her, trying to sound upbeat.

“Like Annie,” she says, and that’s at least a movie I know so I nod. “Yep, like Annie, even my hair,” I tell her, smiling, and it makes her giggle.

“We’ll all have to watch the mermaid movie when we get home,” Ida Sue says, and she doesn’t turn around to look at me, but I feel like I can hear sadness in her voice and the last thing I want is for her to pity me. I don’t want that and truly don’t deserve it. She thinks I’m innocent. She doesn’t know everything about me.

“That’s another thing I wanted to ask. Does Mason have a hotel?” I ask.

“Why would you want to know that? Addie is already getting the apartment above the restaurant ready for you.”

“That’s such an amazing offer. Seriously, I can’t even begin to understand why you’re helping me like you are, but…”

“Now, Poppy, let’s not do this again. Good help is hard to find. You’d be doing us all a favor.”

“I’m sure it’s not that hard to find, and you don’t even know if I’m a good waitress.”

“I told you, I’m going—”

“With your gut, I know. I can’t keep relying on your kindness. I feel horrible.”

“I don’t know why not. Your rent will be cut out of your check. Now, let’s talk about happier things.”

“Okay, but even so, I have Russ to worry about.”

“You don’t think he’ll like Mason?”

“It’s not that, it’s… He can’t really do stairs,” I explain.

“Poppy, do I look stupid?”

I blink, because her tone before was softer and understanding and now, it’s clear that I’ve upset her.

“Of course not, although some people would say offering a job to a stranger and helping that stranger move across the state is a little…unorthodox,” I try to say gently.

“I’m going with my gut!” she exclaims, and I wince. I look at the rearview mirror to see Kayla laughing, so I guess I haven’t made a huge mistake.

“I swear, Poppy, you might be worse than my own children. The building has an elevator and it is handicap accessible.”

“Oh…” I murmur, the thought of Russ having that luxury robs me of the ability to say anything else.

“It’s a small apartment with a kitchen and sitting room, but there are two small bedrooms and a bathroom between them. You will have to do your laundry at the laundromat in town, however.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I’m used to that,” I tell her, unable to believe how much things seem to be changing.

“Good. Now for the love of God, can we change the subject?” she asks, giving me a pointed look in the mirror.

“Uh…Okay?” I respond, more as a question than a statement. She gives me a smile and I guess that was the reply she wanted. They begin talking about some woman named Meadow and a surprise birthday party they’re planning for her at the restaurant, but I kind of tune them out. Instead, I stare out the window and pray that everything is as good as it seems.

I’m almost too scared to believe it all….

22

Kage

“This can’t be real,” I whisper again, for the hundredth time.

I’m standing at the door of a small, but beautiful apartment. It’s clean and it has furniture. Furniture that I desperately need, because the only thing that we brought with us from our old place were clothes, towels, and sheets and blankets. We didn’t really need White’s truck, but they didn’t seem to mind either. I’m still having trouble believing how great they’re all being.

“I know it’s tiny, but it’s actually really comfortable,” Addie says, who as it turns out, not only owns the restaurant I’ll be working at, but is another one of Ida Sue’s daughters-in-law.

“It’s amazing!” Russ cries, and I can do nothing but agree, as tears sting my eyes.

“I don’t know what to say. I didn’t expect… I don’t know what I expected to be honest, but it wasn’t this,” I tell her. Ida Sue left earlier with Kayla and Maxie. They’ve all been so nice to me, even Ida Sue’s sons. It’s all such a blur, but one thing I do know is that they’re really good people and I’m feeling extremely guilty.

“I’m glad you’re satisfied. We open up at five in the morning. I know it’s early, but if you could be there around four-thirty, I’ll introduce you to the other waitress and walk you through everything,” she says.

There goes that guilt again.

“I’ll be there. It’s… Addie are you sure you want to hire me? I mean, I know Ida Sue hired me and brought me here, and I can’t even begin to understand all of that, but you didn’t really have a choice. I mean—”

“I have complete faith in Ida Sue. She’s a beautiful person and if she likes you, then you are definitely good people,” Addie says.

Russ, maybe sensing what I’m about to do, rolls his chair over to me. His hand reaches out and finds mine and we link our fingers. It’s always been me and him against the world. It has since day one in the orphanage. He became my family and I became his.

“Addie, you guys have been so good to us already and we just got here.”

“Kage—”

I swallow down the fear that’s threatening to choke me, and push forward, even knowing that all of this might go up in smoke.

“I need to tell you that I’m not exactly… I mean, well, Ida Sue doesn’t know everything about me,” I mumble.

“Of course not,” she says, and she reaches over to put her hand over mine and Russ’s. I look up at her and she smiles down at me. “We’ve just met. There’s no way we could know everything about one another. For instance, you probably don’t know that I am married to a cop.”

“Uh…no. I didn’t know that.”

“Or that my brother-in-law, Luka, is the sheriff in Mason.”

“Well, actually, I did know that. Ida Sue gave me his name as a reference. Although, I kind of think she got that backwards because she didn’t really ask for references from me.”

“Ida Sue didn’t need them. She knew everything she needed to know about you before you even spoke to her, Kage.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” I tell her. She carefully maneuvers me to a chair. I sit down, thankful because it feels like my legs really might give out on me. Russ joins me and once we’re settled, Addie sits on the small sofa across from us.

“Ida Sue is a firm believer in acting on impulse. She says she likes to go—”

“With her gut. Yeah, she told me that, but the thing is, she doesn’t know enough about me to make that kind of judgment call.”

“Doesn’t she?”

“What do you mean?”

“You sound like I’m going to think you’re a bad person, Kage. But, ask yourself, would a bad person be this concerned about what her potential employer might think of her?”

“You don’t understand,” I murmur with a sigh, wondering what to do.

“I understand that your boss fired you when you didn’t come in for your original shift, but one later that night.”

“Well, yeah,” I mumble.

“I understand that you took it on yourself to get someone to fill in for you, so that the diner wouldn’t be short staffed,” she continues. I nod, my heart beating hard and fast.

“I understand that even after your employer told you to abandon Russ, you told him he was crazy and that the two of you were family.”

“Kage!” Russ cries. I squeeze his hand tighter.

“Russ is family. I’d do anything for him,” I growl.

“As it should be. You may not see yourself as a good person, Kage. But Ida Sue did and I do. That’s all that matters.”

“You still don’t know everything,” I reply stubbornly.

“Then, tell me, if it makes you feel better, but I think I do know everything. I have a husband and a brother-in-law who check people out closely before they let others into our lives.”

Her words bring me hope, but I haven’t technically been charged with a felony, so I doubt she truly knows everything. I don’t know why I feel so strongly that I need to come clean with Addie. Maybe I am scared that my past will follow me to Mason. I don’t understand, but what I do know is that I have to tell her. I can’t continue to take their kindness without being completely honest.

Too much is riding on this fresh start.

“I still need to tell you,” I whisper, scared, but pushing through it.

“I’m all ears,” she responds. I take a deep breath and let it all out, every single bit of it.

I tell her about my mother leaving me, about the abuse in the foster homes I’d experienced. About meeting Russ and forming a bond with him and how he encouraged me to keep going when I didn’t want to. I told her about escaping the orphanage when it became clear they weren’t going to keep Russ but send him to a long-term facility because of his health issues. I told her about living in shelters, about finding jobs for cash and how hard that was. I told her about it all until finally, I told her how I bought Russ’s medicine and the number of times I’d been caught and warned. I told her how, even after I was warned, I kept doing it. I confessed everything, and I was so scared that I didn’t even realize I told her everything while crying.

It didn’t even register until much later, that Addie was crying. I didn’t even realize, until it was all over, that Addie was on her knees in front of me holding mine and Russ’s hands again.

I let it all out, and she didn’t push me away and demand I leave.

She hugged me—hugged me and Russ. Then, she told me two words that I’ve never heard in my life. Words that I was afraid to believe, but desperately wanted to.

Welcome home.

23

Green

Two Weeks Later

“HEY, GREEN.”

“White, everything okay?” I frown after answering the phone. I rub the back of my neck and grunt as pain jabs through my arm and shoulder.

“Fine, why do you ask?” he replies, but I can tell he’s lying.

“Because it’s eleven at night and you’re usually snoring, because you’re old as fuck.”

“You get that you’re not that much younger than me, right?” he grumbles.

“Whatever. Plus, there’s the fact that you’re like the fourth brother to call me tonight, and I have a message from Mom, too.”

“They said they hadn’t spoken to you,” he mumbles.

“They haven’t, I got voice messages from them. I haven’t been home long, I’ve spent most of the night being examined by doctors,” I tell him with a sigh, flopping down on my couch.

“We’re worried about you,” he finally says, and there it is. Once I saw all the missed calls, I knew it was probably because of the news report.

“I’m fine.”

“Green, all you’ve ever wanted is to play ball,” he says, and I feel that familiar burn in my gut.

“It’s an injury. I’ll come back,” I respond, but truthfully, I’m not positive at all. I’ve been thinking about it more and more. My body hurts from years of abuse and trying to stay ahead of my younger teammates. My knees are shit, my shoulder is blown. It’s probably time to hang it all up, even if there are players out there older than me. In reality, most players retire from the sport around thirty-three. I’ve fought it, but I’m tired.

“Maybe you could fool anyone else, but this is me you’re talking to. I went through it with football, remember?”

“Yeah,” I sigh out, feeling fucking old. “I remember. It’s not like it’s a big surprise, White. My shoulder has been giving me hell for a while now.”

“I know,” he says, and he probably does. So much for trying to keep it a secret, I should have known better. You can’t keep a secret when it comes to my family.

“My numbers have been lackluster for the past two seasons. Coach has been molding Finn to step up and take my place. Hell, he should have already, he knew I was working my ass off to stay in the lineup,” I respond.

“I know how it feels, but you have options and you have to know Allen will be happier having you at home and not traveling as much.”

“Yeah, I know. Hell, he’s at Mom’s more than he’s with me anymore.”

“So maybe it’s time, little brother.”

“It’s past time and we both know it. I’m not sure what in the hell to do with myself now that it’s over.”

“Are you going back to Mason?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Seems to be what us Lucas’s do,” he laughs. “Kayla and I are looking at houses there again.”

“Shit, really?”

“Yeah, I know. We just moved. I couldn’t turn the job down so we moved back to Dallas, but the truth is, Kayla is miserable.”

“Damn.”

“Hell, Green, I even miss Mason. I’ve talked with the company and they’re willing to do live remotes as much as possible. I’ll have to travel on some of the game days, but I can deal with that as long as my woman is good.”

“You sound like the decision is already made? They were pretty definite on you moving to Dallas before. What’s the change?”

“Turns out yours truly has boosted the fuck out of the show’s ratings, so they’re willing to work with me now.”

“Jesus, I can hear your ego growing from here.”

“Fuck you,” he laughs. “Anyway, I think I want to pursue it. I can pick and choose any games and I only have to be in studio for the big ticket ones. That means I won’t have to be away from home that often, and still have a part of the sport and show I love.

“I thought Kayla—”

“Kayla wants Maxie to be surrounded by family and I want that for her too. Plus, Calder really has bonded with Russ and Allen. He’s happier in Mason, moving back to Dallas was good, but it’s not what we want now,” he says and I nod, even though he can’t see me, because I know White will be much happier in Mason.

“I’m happy for you brother,” I respond.

“Yeah,” he says, but there’s a wealth of satisfaction in his answer. Thanks, man. You going to come to Meadow’s party next week?” There’s a wealth of satisfaction in his voice.

What would it be like to feel that happiness?

“Probably. It’s not like I have anything else on my schedule,” I laugh. “Besides, Mom called and invited me a couple of days ago. If I don’t show up, she’ll probably hunt me down.”

“Did she tell you to bring Parker?” White asks, making me roll my eyes.

“Yeah, she did. What the fuck is up with that?”

“She wants to introduce him to the waitress.”

“The one she moved from San Antonio up to Mason?” I ask, still not quite believing she did that shit. “I can’t believe she went through with setting that girl up there. I bet Addie wanted to strangle her.”

“That’s the one. And hell no, man. Addie loves her. She’s a hard worker and a really sweet girl, actually. Her brother, Russ, and Calder are extremely tight.”

“You mean she’s a free loader. What kind of girl accepts a job from a stranger and moves all that distance for a waitressing job? It’s crazy.”

“The kind of girl that needed help. You’ll understand if you meet her brother and take the time to get to know Kage without jumping to conclusions.”

“Maybe,” I mutter. I doubt he’s right, but I don’t want to argue the point. “It doesn’t matter, though. Parker is hung up on Finn’s sister, Faye.”

“Oh shit, really? Finn would chop off his dick if Parker gets around his sister.”

“Exactly, and that’s why Parker stays away from Faye.”

“Then maybe introducing him to Kage is a good idea. She is a pretty woman, too young, but then Parker is younger than we are,” White says, and I frown. I wish people would stop talking like I’m ancient. I’m not that old, damn it.

“What kind of name is Kage, anyway? Are you sure she’s not an escaped convict with a fake identity?”

“You need to stop watching those cop shows. She’s a good girl and that’s all you need to know. I have a better question for you.”

“What’s that?”

“How do you kind of meet a woman?” White asks, laughing.

I find my first grin of the day, telling my brother about the memory of the curvy little woman with a mass of red curly hair that I can’t clearly remember, but has caused some hot dreams.

24

Kage

“Kage you don’t have to do this. It’s your day off,” Addie says, and I shake my head in denial. She’s been so sweet to me. I don’t even know how to begin to pay her back and she thinks I’m doing her a favor?

She’s crazy.

“I want to do this. Besides it will take me an hour at the most. You relax.”

“But, you’ve been sick,” she says, clearly still not happy with me running errands for her on my day off.

“Just to my stomach. I have a nervous stomach. I’m sure it’s the move, plus it’s not been that long ago I had a stomach virus. I’m fine, I promise. I feel really good today,” I assure her.

“I still feel bad,” Addie says with a sigh, and I shake my head. Seriously, all I’m doing is going to pick up a few supplies for Meadow’s birthday party tomorrow at the restaurant. Addie is even closing the place down for the family gathering. I wasn’t going to be there, but Addie and Ida Sue are insisting. I mean, I like Meadow, but I can’t afford to get her a gift and clearly I’m not family. Still, the more I protested the more they insisted. In the end, I gave up. I’ll help serve cake and things and clean up and by clean up, I totally mean hide in the kitchen, but they don’t need to know that yet.

“There’s no need. I’m looking forward to getting out,” I tell her. That’s not a lie. I’ve worked almost every day since I got here. The one day I didn’t, I felt so bad, I didn’t leave the apartment. There was no need since when we moved in, the kitchen was fully stocked. I have no doubt that was Ida Sue’s doing. Addie also sends leftovers up every evening because she says otherwise the food would go to waste. I know she’s only doing it to make sure we eat, however, because I also know she sends stuff out to the local homeless shelter on a daily basis.

I never realized good people existed, not until I moved here. I’m starting to believe that Ida Sue is an angel sent from above. I thought God pretty much overlooked me, but maybe I was wrong…

“Getting out where?”

I turn, smiling big as Ida Sue comes through the front door of the restaurant.

“Russ and I are going to run into town for Addie and pick up things for Meadow’s surprise party,” I tell her.

“I’m afraid I just threw a monkey wrench into that plan, Poppy.”

“How so?” I ask, strangely getting used to Ida Sue’s nickname for me.

“I’m taking Allen and Calder over to Petal and Luka’s. Luka is taking them camping at the lake. We stopped by here to see if Russ wanted to join them.”

“That’s very nice of you to include Russ, but—”

“Please, Kage?” Russ asks, coming in along with Allen and Calder.

“Honey, I don’t know,” I mumble, not wanting to mention that he may have trouble camping because of his limitations. I hate bringing them up to him.

“Let him go, Poppy. He’ll have fun.”

“Luka might not—”

“It was Luka’s idea to ask, besides he hasn’t met River yet and River’s dying for all the big brothers in the world,” Ida Sue says. I look at her and I know she can see the worry in my eyes. She puts her hand on my shoulder and gives me a patient smile that for some reason makes me want to cry. “It’s okay, Kage,” she whispers, using my real name.

“I…I guess I’ll go upstairs and pack Russ some clothes,” I ramble, giving in. I trust Ida Sue, heck I owe her so much that at this point I’m pretty sure I’d die for the woman. Right now, however, I’m giving in because I’ve never seen Russ so happy in my life and he’s never had anything to be that happy about. I want this for him.

“Already done!” he nearly shouts in victory, holding up a bag from his lap and waving it at me. His smile somehow grows impossibly bigger and it transforms his whole face. He looks young, happy, and not in pain. Three things that Russ has never been in my life.

“Good! Now that it’s all settled, we can load up in my car and then after we drop the boys off we can do errands together,” Ida Sue says clapping her hands together.

“Oh, but, I was going to do a few things while I was out,” I tell her, feeling like I’m being steamrolled and not sure what to do about it.

“What were you going to do?”

“I wanted to get my hair cut,” I respond, suddenly blushing when I hear Addie gasp and feel everyone’s eyes on me.

“But, your hair is gorgeous!” Addie and Ida Sue say in unison, and I put my hand over it in defense.

“It’s so thick and long,” I mumble. “I was thinking it might be nice to change it up…”

“We’ll talk about it in the car. You don’t want to do anything you might regret.”

“I don’t think I’ll regret it,” Letting her herd me outside.

“Maybe a color change? Have you ever thought about being a blonde? Parker loves blondes.”

“I don’t think I’d like blonde,” I respond.

“We’ll talk about it. They say blondes have more fun, you know.”

“Ida Sue?” I ask, getting more confused by the minute. I put my hand up over my eyes as we make it outside to the bright sunshine.

“Yeah, Poppy?” she asks as I help Russ slide into the back seat of the car and then fold his chair up to stow in the trunk.

“Who is Parker?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head none about that,” she says, helping me lift the chair and then slamming the trunk lid down. “Now about that blonde…”

I shake my head, thinking it’s going to be a long day—and worrying I’ll end up a blonde before it’s over.

25

Kage

“What do you think?” Petal asks.

I look into the mirror and I’m at a loss for words. I’m not sure I even recognize the woman in the mirror. I mean, I’m still a red-head despite Ida Sue being highly upset. She whispered something about maybe Finn liked red hair. I have no idea what she’s talking about, but I did suggest to Petal they take her to the doctor. For some reason, everyone laughed.

My red hair is shorter, although only by about three inches. It has been toned down a little with what Petal called low lights. I’m ridiculously stupid about hair and makeup. Probably because my entire life, I’ve been more consumed with trying to survive and keep Russ alive. I’ve never had anyone cut my hair. I’ve always wacked it off myself when it annoyed me. It’s clear Petal is a professional. I thought it looked good when she used nothing but a blow dryer. Now, however, it’s straight and I’ve never had straight hair in my life. I know it’s the flat iron she used and by morning it will be a curly mess, but still, it’s so pretty.

“Oh dear,” Petal mutters. “Listen if you hate it, we can always change it back to curly. I thought it would be something different and it really does go great with your bone structure,” she says softly. I open my mouth to talk, but I’m having trouble forming words.

“We could try the blonde, but I hate to admit it, I’m loving the red. Parker will have to get used to it,” Ida Sue mumbles.

“I love it,” I finally manage to get out, my heart pounding in my chest. “Petal it’s beautiful. I’m going to buy a straightener out of my next check.”

“Yay! I’m so glad! And there’s no need. You can have this one. I’m going to get new ones for the shop anyway.”

“I can’t do that,” I tell her, already shaking my head no.

“Oh please! I’m glad to. I have to buy new ones anyway. I need the tax write off. I’d rather buy new equipment than give Uncle Sam my money,” she says with a wink.

“No, I can’t. Unless you let me pay you,” I tell her.

“We’ll talk about it tonight over pizza.”

“Pizza?”

“Well, me and my baby girl are going to be alone tonight, and I figure since Russ is gone, you’ll be alone. How about you come over and we’ll binge watch movies and load up on junk food.”

“I’d join you, but Jansen and I have the house alone tonight and I feel the need to clean my kitchen table,” Ida Sue mumbles.

“Your kitchen table?” I ask, wondering why she has to be alone to clean her kitchen.

“Don’t ask,” Petal grouses, shaking her head. “Believe me, you do not want to know.” I frown, completely confused, but Ida Sue winks at me and then asks a question that catches all of my attention and not in a good way.

“Kage, do you like athletes?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, and Green’s face immediately flashes in my mind. I’ve done my best to not think of the jerk, and I’ve mostly succeeded. It’s not easy because his last name and Ida Sue’s are the same. That means her entire family is a small reminder of the biggest mistake of my life—and when you’ve lived the life I have, that’s saying something. Still, these are good people, who repeatedly try to give me the shirt off their back to help—and I mean that both figuratively and literally. They’re nothing like the man who took my virginity and didn’t even stick around the next morning to kick me out. He had someone else do it. He’s an asshole, worse than an asshole, but I’m not going to waste my time trying to come up with another description.

“What Mom is so delicately getting at,” Petal mutters, “is that she’s fixing you up on a blind date for Meadow’s party.”

“No,” I respond, shaking my head back and forth in panic. “Absolutely not.”

“It’s not a blind date, really, Poppy. It’s more like you’ll be at the party, he’ll be at the party and I’ll introduce you!” Ida Sue explains with such glee that my eyes want to pop out of my head.

“That kind of sounds like a blind date,” Petal points out.

“No, it’s not. He’s not picking her up, he’s not taking her out. They’ll just sit together and have cake,” Ida Sue grumbles, casting a mean look in Petal’s direction—which Petal ignores.

“Whatever,” Petal groans. “What if Kage would rather date a cop? Luka has this really cute deputy. He’s hot and you can’t beat a man in uniform,” Petal purrs. “Trust me, there are advantages to having a man who knows how to use handcuffs,” she says, and I can’t help but blush—because I don’t understand a lot of what Petal and Ida Sue are going on about, but I definitely understand that.

“Ew, stop. A mother doesn’t need to hear about her children getting their kink on,” Ida Sue says, waving her hand as if to ward off Petal’s words.

“That’s rich coming from you, because you sure do like torturing all of us with your and Jansen’s mattress acrobatics.”

“That’s different,” she says with a huff. “When I do it, I’m merely being a responsible parent passing down my wealth of knowledge and expertise to the younger generation,” she says, sounding like she might be royalty and passing down the keys to world peace. Her tone is so outlandish that I burst out laughing.

“You’ve got a nice laugh, Poppy,” Ida Sue murmurs when I’m done. I swallow down the emotion I feel at the kind look on her face. The truth is, I can’t remember the last time I truly laughed and felt it all the way to the tips of my toes. I do now. Being around Ida Sue and Petal makes me feel… happy.

“That she does,” Petal whispers. Then, a little louder, she adds, “And, she has gorgeous hair!”

“Well, I had a really good beautician,” I respond, and she gives me a big smile.

“Now, I need to know one thing,” Ida Sue announces.

“What’s that?” I ask.

“Do you like baseball players?”

“Absolutely not,” I growl, without even realizing how fierce my tone is. I notice Ida Sue blinking quickly at my vehemence. I hear Petal laughing.

“You hate baseball?”

“I abhor it and the players who think they’re God’s gift because they can hit a ball with a piece of wood and run in what’s little more than a dang square,” I declare, my face hard.

“I really like you, Kage,” Ida Sue says. I have no idea what that means, but I think it might mean bad things when Petal whispers in my ear.

“Oh boy.”

26

Green

“Did someone mention birthday cake?” I call out when I walk through the door of Addie’s restaurant. She’s really made a success of this. Mom has a hand in it, but everyone loves Addie and the food here is amazing. I love it, but mostly I love it because on walking in here I’m almost always surrounded by family. Maybe White is right and I should come back to Mason.

“Unca Gween!” Rain cries and comes running to me. I catch her and lift her up over my head, to hear her squeal.

“How’s my little princess?” I ask her as I bring her down into a hug. I close my eyes as her little hands hug me close. I miss this age. It feels like Allen should be this age still.

Time goes too damn fast.

“I gots pwetty nails!” she says, when I pull back to look at her pretty face. Rain is Petal’s little girl and she’s special to me, has been since day one. Once, in another life, I wanted more kids, a sister for Allen to look over and protect, a family…

It sure as hell didn’t work out that way.

I look down at her nails and grin. They’re painted a pretty white with what looks like a kitten’s face in hot pink.

“Well look at that,” I respond, kissing her palm. “Mommy put kitty cats on you.”

“Nu uh, Auntie Kage dids it!” she says, wiggling to get out of my hands. I put her down and without another word she takes off running.

“You’re late,” Petal says, once I turn to hug her.

“I had a longer drive than the rest of you,” I tell her, closing my eyes as I kiss the top of Petal’s head.

“Whatever,” she laughs. “Are you hungry?”

“It’s like you don’t know me,” I joke and she laughs. “Yeah, yeah you’re always hungry.”

“Got it in one,” I say with a wink. “Where’s my boy at?”

“Luka hasn’t brought the boys yet. They stopped by the house to shower and clean-up before coming over.”

“I miss him. Seems like it’s been a month since I’ve seen him,” I mutter, rubbing the side of my neck. I wince a little because even that small movement causes pain in my shoulder.

“That’s because it has been,” Mom says, coming up to hug me. She’s wearing a silly paper party hat on the top of her head and wearing a white t-shirt that proclaims her a “crazy heifer” in bold, florescent letters and has a picture of…

I have to do a doubletake.

There’s a picture of her pet cow Hamburger stretched across her chest.

“Nice shirt, Mom,” I mumble.

“Thank you. We’re going to sell them in the restaurant’s gift shop.”

“The restaurant has a gift shop?” I ask, because if it does, it’s news to me.

“Not yet. We’re going to put one in. It was Poppy’s suggestion. That girl has some really good ideas.”

“Poppy?”

“Kage, don’t you remember?” Mom responds.

“The waitress from San Antonio?” I ask, thinking she seems pretty entrenched in the family here for such a short time. I’m probably a skeptical asshole, but I still say that chick is an opportunist. Who moves hours away because a woman offers you a job? Better yet, who lets that woman help you move? I make a note to talk to Black about investigating this Kage. I won’t have someone taking advantage of my mom. She may be crazy, but she’s mine and her heart gets her in trouble too often.

“Yeah, that’s the one. Speaking of which, did you bring Parker with you?”

“Parker? From the team? I thought you were kidding about that.”

“Damn it, Green!” she complains, slapping me against the stomach—definitely harder than if she was doing it jokingly. “You had one job!”

“Mom, you have to know that Parker isn’t going to date some waitress you picked up and brought home because you felt sorry for her.”

“I didn’t feel sorry for her,” she replies, refusing to look me in the eye—a clear sign she’s not being truthful.

“Mom—”

“Don’t you Mom me, Green House Lucas,” she mutters. “Poppy is a sweetheart who needed a break. You’ll see. Parker will have his socks blown off by her.”

“Not sure Parker wears socks,” I say.

“He doesn’t? That’s nasty,” she swallows. “Poppy wouldn’t like that.”

I roll my eyes, clearly there’s no talking to Mom when it comes to this girl. I’m going to have to talk to Black sooner rather than later.

“I can’t believe you’ve given her a new name,” I sigh.

“She’s family.”

“If you say so. Where is this wonder girl anyway?” I ask, looking around.

“She’s in the kitchen with Meadow and Addie,” Mom mumbles. “Let me see your phone.”

“My phone? Why?”

“Because I’m going to do what you should have done and invite Parker down. Poppy will be so disappointed,” Mom whines.

“I bet she will. She’s probably looking for the next sucker to pay her bills and keep her up.”

Petal elbows me hard in the stomach and honestly until that moment I’d forgot she was there. I’ve barely recovered from that before Mom does the same thing.

“Lay off Kage, Green. She’s good people,” Petal growls, her eyes narrowed in on me to the point that I’m glad she doesn’t have any sharp objects nearby.

“And if you don’t stop talking bad about her, I’m going to cut off that certain appendage you’re so fond of and feed it to my hogs,” Mom adds. There’s so much irritation in her words that my hand moves down to my crotch to hide my dick by reflex.

“You have hogs?”

“Just two. A girl and a boy. But they’re fitting in nicely. I’m thinking of getting another.”

“Hell no, Lovey. Those damn things keep going into the playhouse and it stinks in there.”

“They’re looking for a house of their own, Jan. It’s what couples do.”

“Couples? You have hogs that are… a couple?”

“Of course. Wilbur and Charlotte,” Mom states.

“You named your pigs Wilbur and Charlotte? Don’t answer that, of course you did,” I mutter.

“What else would I name them? That was your favorite book growing up, Green, you don’t have to sound so holier than thou about it all.”

“You do realize in the book that Charlotte was a spider, Mom?”

“Yeah, I know, but it’s the strangest thing. I actually bought a spider from the pet store and Wilbur was terrified of the poor thing.” I look at Jansen to see if Mom is joking with me, but he shakes his head no. “By the way, son, Allen has a new pet spider.”

“Mom!” I groan.

“What? I had to find Charlotte One a home and Allen liked her.”

“Jesus,” I gripe.

“Quit whining and give me your phone.”

“Parker’s not going to come all this way to meet some waitress that is living off of other people, Mom.”

“I didn’t paddle you enough as a child,” Mom growls, yanking my phone out of my hand. “Jan, you see if you can knock some sense into his head while I call Parker. You know, Green, some people actually want to meet a nice girl instead of those damn tart-waffles you seem to gravitate toward.”

“Tart-waffles?”

“I was being nice! There are children here! But, if you hurt Kage, you better run for cover because there’s not a rock big enough for you to crawl under that I won’t find you and set your head on fire,” she warns, stomping off.

“Wow,” I mumble, watching her go. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my mother that fired up.”

“She’s protective over Kage,” Jansen says, and he looks irritated with me, too. Which kind of pisses me off.

“You all barely know this girl, Jan,” I huff.

“She’s a sweet girl that’s had a damn hard life, Son. She’s good people and you need to ease up on her.”

“We’ll see after I’ve met her,” I mutter.

“Okay, but fair warning, everyone has kind of adopted her and that includes your boy, Allen.”

“Great,” I mutter. “That’s all I need. Now Mom will start trying to matchmake me with this girl.”

“No danger in that,” Jansen says easily.

“Thank God, does that mean she learned her lesson after trying to set me up with that freakshow the other day?”

“Don’t know about that. I only know she said you didn’t deserve her Poppy,” Jansen laughs, walking over toward where Black and Blue are talking.

I don’t know why his laughter annoys me, but it does. I ignore it, however. I’m just thankful that I’m not in Mom’s line of fire when it comes to this waitress chick. Poor Parker better run and run quick.

27

Kage

“Kage, that’s so pretty,” Meadow gushes, and I shift around uncomfortable on my feet. I’m really not used to anyone bragging on me. Well, except Russ and he’s always bragging on me.

“You like it?” I ask.

“It’s gorgeous,” Meadow says, and when I see her smiling, I know she’s telling the truth. I actually love decorating cakes. I always decorated Russ’s, and I thought I had a talent for it, but it’s nice to hear someone else thinks so too.

I really like Meadow. She’s not Ida Sue’s daughter, or married to one of her million sons. She’s a friend of the family. She’s really quiet and I can tell from the look on her face from time to time she feels as overwhelmed as I do. She has a little boy named Adam. He went with everyone camping, but Meadow didn’t come to Petal’s. I heard Ida Sue saying she helped take care of her mother who was sick.

“It really is, Kage. I may have to hire you to do cakes at the restaurant,” Addie says, and I feel my face heat up, but I grin.

“I really like doing them, it relaxes me,” I respond.

“Then we’re definitely going to have to check into it. I swear I’m starting to think the day Ida Sue brought you back to Mason might have been my luckiest day—well except for when I ran over Black with my lawnmower.”

“When you what?” I gasp.

“Long story,” she laughs. “I’ll tell you about it soon. We better get this cake out there. They’re starting to get loud. I’d say the natives are getting restless.”

“I’d rather hide in here the rest of the night,” Meadow mumbles.

“You’re saying that because you want to hide from Blue,” Addie replies.

“Do you blame me?”

“Blue’s intense, especially when it comes to you, Meddie, but you’re not going to be able to run from him forever,” she warns. I’m trying not to listen, but I can’t help it. I’m an outsider and even I can see how Blue’s gaze locks on Meadow and tracks her wherever she goes. Earlier he pinned her in the corner, and they were talking to each other, and it was so intense that I could feel the heat coming off of them from across the room.

I don’t know much about men, but I know that Meadow definitely has her hands full with Blue.

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Meadow murmurs, and I can literally see the anxiety on her face. Anxiety is something I can definitely relate to, so I decide to deflect attention from her to me. Plus, I really want to know.

“Addie? Can I ask why all of Ida Sue’s boys are named after colors?” I ask as we walk out of the kitchen. For some reason this makes her and Meadow both laugh. I want to ask what they find so funny, but I can’t.

Once we walk into the main dining room I freeze when I hear the loud laugh from across the room. My gaze immediately moves to the sound and it feels like my heart freezes mid beat. My mouth goes dry and it feels like my entire world comes crashing in around me. Across the room, standing there looking impossibly handsome is Green Lucas.

Green.

Lucas.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

I don’t know why I didn’t make the connection before, but it definitely does now. It connects so hard it feels like a physical blow and threatens to take me down to my knees.

Green Lucas is Ida Sue’s son and the home I thought I found in Mason, Texas is suddenly crumbling before my very eyes.

28

Green

I’m laughing with Luka and Jansen, feeling as if I’m finally breathing clear again. Coming back home was the right thing to do. White was right and who knows? Maybe he’s right about moving here. There are things that I love about Corpus Christi, but I do love being around family too. I know how blessed I am to have the crazy crew that I have. My boy, Allen, comes up beside me and I know he’s too big for this shit these days, but I hug the hell out of him just the same. He surprises me by hugging back. Maybe he missed his old man as much as I did him.

“Hey, Bud,” I murmur against the side of his head, breathing in the fresh scent of his hair and the strength of his hold. “Did you have a good time last night?”

“Definitely,” he says, his voice full of this youthful excitement that I can’t remember ever feeling. “I hung with Calder and Russ.”

“Who’s Russ?” I ask, because I thought I was familiar with all the kids in the area that Allen hung around with. He has to be someone we all know for Luka to take him out with the others.

“He just moved here. Calder knew him. He’s cool,” Allen says, but before I can question him further, the ladies come out of the kitchen. My gaze immediately goes to Blue. I’ve been watching my brother closely ever since Black’s wedding. He’s staring at Meadow so intently that I swear he may scare the woman to death. It’s clear he’s still hung up on her, even after all of these years. I don’t know what is going on with him, but I wish he could get it sorted out. I know exactly how it feels to be that overtaken with a woman, to the point you feel them in your blood, feeding straight to your heart. It didn’t end well for me, but the difference with Blue and Meadow is that Meddie is a good woman. I’d hate to see my brother miss out. The entire family is here today except for Mary, Maggie, her son, and Cyan. They are all out in California taking some students from Maggie’s school to Disney. Maggie had teachers and school staff, I doubt she needed her brother and sister to tag along, but Mary insisted. She kept saying she was about to write a murder mystery and it was going to take place at Disney.

That girl…

I shake my head. It will be interesting to see how Mary knocks the world on its ass in a few years. I hope it’s not the world that knocks her down. Mary tends to go at things full force and doesn’t look ahead for the danger. Maybe I used to be that way, but it was definitely in another lifetime.

Maggie tried to talk Cyan out of going, but he refused. I think that had less to do with him actually wanting to go to Disney and much more to do with the fact that the school’s librarian, Alice, was going, but I figure Maggie knew that too.

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you,” Mom leads out the song as the girls move to a large table in the center of the room. They stop abruptly, or at least Petal and the woman beside her does.

I don’t know the woman, but seeing her is an immediate punch to the gut. Her long auburn hair is straight and sleek and it falls past her shoulders. She’s wearing a green t-shirt and faded jeans that hug her curvy body to perfection. She’s beautiful.

No. That’s not enough.

She’s fucking gorgeous.

My eyes are so drawn to her. I can’t look away even if I wanted to and I definitely don’t. I could eat her with a spoon. Fuck the spoon, I’d bury my head between her legs and not be able to stop for days. I see beautiful women all the time, but there’s something about her that sets my blood on fire.

I move closer, my feet moving without thought. I really want to see the color of her eyes. There’s something eerily familiar about her. She turns laughing, and the smile on her face, makes her even prettier. Gray always said the moment he saw CC that he knew he was gone forever, that she stopped his heart and when it started back it only beat for her. My brother is a romantic moron, and I always laughed it off. But, the truth is, right now, I think I understand exactly what he means. I’ve never had this reaction before to any woman and that includes Marissa and Cynthia.

There’s something about her hair that kindles memories in my mind, but I can’t quite place it. I see the exact moment she sees me. Our gazes lock, she stops all movement, and I smile, satisfied that she’s been as gob smacked as I fucking have.

I walk to the table. Everyone is sitting down around it. The girl seems to come out of her haze as Mom guides her to the table. I go to the end she’s standing at and sit down, waiting for her to join me. For once, I overlook Meadow and Blue and how my brother practically manhandles her to get her to sit beside him at the table. It’s no longer important, because it’s not my brother and Meadow on my mind. It’s me and the gorgeous woman, still holding the cake, still staring at me, despite Mom and Petal trying to get her attention.

That should make me happy. Yet, now that I’m closer, I could swear it is panic or maybe even fear frozen on her face. It’s definitely not hunger, which I’m sure is what is reflected on mine.

“Who is that?” I ask Black, as he comes up behind me, my gaze still locked on the girl. I wish I could pinpoint why she seems so familiar to me, but it doesn’t matter. Soon, I’ll make my move.

“Kage? You haven’t met her yet? I thought you were at the diner when Mom found her,” Black says and shit…

This is Kage?

Well, fuck me.

“No, I didn’t meet her,” I respond, probably sounding distracted, because I am. At least, this probably explains why she seems so familiar. I’d probably saw her at that diner. Satisfied with that explanation, I sit back and wait. My sister pulls Kage’s attention away from me and I instantly miss it. I allow it though, because I’m basically biding my time. Soon, I’m going to capture all of Kage’s attention.

Every damn bit of it.

“Oh fuck,” he mumbles.

“What?” I ask, shifting so I can give him my attention—albeit grudgingly.

“I know that look. It’s the same one Blue keeps giving Meadow,” Black laughs.

“Not hardly,” I mutter, turning back around to look at Kage. “Blue looks at Meadow like he can’t decide if he wants to fuck her or kill her. I definitely want to fuck Kage,” I murmur.

Black starts laughing.

I ignore him, because he’s a jerk. I also ignore my hard dick which has suddenly come to life for the first time in months. Briefly, I remember the girl I had in my bed after being fucked over by Cynthia the last time. I’ve cursed myself repeatedly for being too drunk to remember shit from that night. I do remember the color of her hair, however. Kage’s is very close to it, I think.

Maybe I do have a thing for redheads after all.

29

Kage

I feel his eyes on me, but he doesn’t look the slightest bit mad. In fact, he’s looking at me like he did that first night we met, the night he convinced me to go back to his hotel room. His heated stare makes my body grow warm and memories flash through my mind—memories that I can’t allow myself to indulge in. I need to hurry and get out of here before Green remembers, because it’s clear he hasn’t placed me yet. Admittedly, his memory has been crap when it comes to me, but with my luck that’s not going to stay true.

Panic fills me as I look over to see Russ wheel in, Calder at his side. Russ is laughing, and I can’t explain how great that is to see. I hate to be the reason to ruin the happiness he has found here in Mason. I’m going to though. Because, I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot who slept with a man she didn’t know. I’m an idiot who made that man my mark and robbed him, knowing I shouldn’t. I’m an idiot who met a woman and took a job she offered without knowing anything about her. Worse, I’m a woman who spent all this time in Mason, around a family that has their name on the restaurant where I was working at. Lucas. An idiot who was surrounded by Ida Sue’s crazy family with sons that all had these unusual names. Gray. White. Black. Blue. Cyan.

An idiot that just realized that Green Lucas, the star baseball player, is related to these people.

Oh God.

“Kage? Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Addie says, making sure the cake is secure on the table, I look down at it, suddenly wondering how it got there. “Are you still sick?” she asks, clearly concerned. I’ve been sick all morning, but that’s not what’s wrong right now. Not even close.

“Oh God, Addie,” I whisper. “I have to get out of here,” I tell her, my voice dropping down even more, as panic flushes over my entire body. “I have to get out of here,” I hiss, turning away from her, hoping I can make it to the kitchen before Green gets over here. As if against my will, my gaze goes over to him and I panic because he’s walking over here.

“What’s wrong?” Addie says, grabbing my hand.

“It’s him,” I moan, feeling sick to my stomach all over again.

“Him?” she asks, confused.

I told Addie almost everything before I took the job. As my future employer, I felt she deserved to know, even if that meant it would cost me the job. So, I know she’ll understand when I tell her, even though I wish I didn’t have to.

“The baseball player,” I hiss. Addie looks confused and then her head snaps and she turns to look in the direction of Green. Her eyes go round, and I see the exact moment it all hits her. I read her disbelief and her panic that are clear on her face, because I’m feeling the exact same things.

“Green, is the baseball player?” she asks. I close my eyes as a wave of dizziness hits me so strong that my knees threaten to buckle.

“Yes. I didn’t know, Addie. I swear I didn’t know,” I tell her, tears stinging my eyes. Addie has been so good to me. I need her to believe me. I don’t have time to plead my case however, because Green is getting closer.

“Do we know one another,” he asks.

My head goes down and I keep my back turned to him. It’s too late, I know it is, but I still find myself wishing—praying for a miracle.

“This is Kage, Green. You remember,” Ida Sue says—oh so helpfully. “She’s the waitress at the diner in San Antonio.”

I turn back around slowly, looking directly at Green. He’s ignoring his mother, instead his eyes are trained on me, searching my face, his brow furrowed as if he’s trying to connect all of the pieces.

I don’t know where I find the courage, but I do. I take a deep breath, clear my throat and then slowly piece together the words which could spell the end for me—or at least have me wearing prison orange.

“Yeah, we know each other,” I confirm… and wait.

Because I can do nothing else.

30

Green

When I saw her starting to leave, I had to stop her. I want to talk to her, to get to know her. The closer I get, the more she looks familiar. I could swear that I’ve seen her before. I frown, because it’s really bugging me that she seems so familiar and yet I can’t place her. This is not the kind of woman that you would forget.

When she turns around and looks at me, the feeling that I know her only gets stronger.

“Yeah, we know each other,” she says and slowly, piece by piece, it all snaps into place.

“You!” I snarl. Her hair might not be black, but it’s definitely her, there’s no denying it.

It’s the bitch that robbed me.

She flinches when I growl at her. I take a step toward her, Black and White grab me on either side, as if to hold me back. I see the girl go pale and it’s like a wall of steel moves over her. I watch her spine stiffen and her appearance change.

“I guess I should be flattered you remember me this time,” she says, her voice cold.

“What’s going on here?” Mom asks. “Why are you picking on my Poppy?”

“That’s not your Poppy, Mom. This bitch is a con artist,” I snarl, ignoring the way the woman in question pales.

I also ignore the guilt I feel when a young boy moves his wheelchair over to her. The boy looks at me like he hates me. Kage probably has the wool pulled over his eyes too. My gaze centers in on her and I don’t miss the way she reaches down and holds the boy’s hand. They stand there looking defiant, hands joined as if it is them against the world. A small dash of jealousy flares to life inside of me, that I don’t really understand. Then, I remind myself of who she is—of what she’s done.

I look around at my family and every damn one of them—especially the women, are looking at me accusingly. Hell, Addie and my mother look like they might well want to kill me. My brothers are looking at me like they’re disappointed and then there’s Luka. The town sheriff. You would think he’d be interested about the woman being a con artist. Instead, he’s going to stand with my sister by Kage’s side.

“You need to calm down, Green,” Luka cautions and I snap.

I look around at all of them, they are all circled around the red head like I’m the bad guy here. Like I’m the one in the wrong. Then it hits me. My eyes narrow even more on her.

“Jesus Christ!” I spew. “You’ve turned my entire family against me. Was this your plan all along? You stole my wallet, discovered who I am and what kind of money I had? Are you deranged lady? Did you have my info and decide to try and destroy me? Who does that?”

“You didn’t have a wallet, you had a money clip, asshole! Normal people don’t have those anymore! I mean seriously, the nineteen hundred’s called, they want their style back!”

I hear my brothers laughing, but I ignore them.

“You planned all of this, didn’t you? Admit it!”

“I didn’t. It might surprise you that I didn’t even think about you after that night, Green Lucas. I definitely never would have guessed a family that has been loving and kind to me would be related to you!” she cries, anger taking over the panic and wall of indifference she tried to put into place earlier.

“Oh come on, lady. Who do you think is going to believe that?”

“It’s the truth,” she insists.

“Bullshit. You expect me and everyone here to believe that you have been around my family, all with the same last name—”

“Not all of us,” You can hear the annoyance in Luka’s voice.

“I still think you should have taken Petal’s last name,” Mom mutters.

“Ida Sue,” Luka responds, shaking his head, smiling at my mother. “I’m a man. My woman is going to have my name—my children are going to have my name.”

“Got to say, man, I agree with that shit, for sure,” Titan says. I didn’t realize he and my cousin Faith were here. Probably because for the first time ever my mother doesn’t seem to be constantly hovering around him.

“Well, Luka’s different. You CT, can be called anything you want,” Mom practically purrs, squeezing the man’s bicep. I pinch the bridge of my nose and hold my head down, reminding myself that crazy isn’t necessarily hereditary.

“Lovey, if you don’t watch yourself I’m going to take you back into the kitchen and spank that ass of yours red,” Jansen says, making me inwardly cringe.

“And that’s enough of that,” Black demands, close to my ear, still holding me back—like I’m going to hurt the woman. I may want to choke her, but I’ll be satisfied with having her thrown in jail.

“My point is that there’s no way you didn’t notice that all my brothers were named after colors and had the last name Lucas and didn’t put two and two together. You planned this shit. What was your game here, lady? Were you hoping to sucker my whole family in and have them pay your bills?”

“Green!” Addie cries, and she wraps her arms around Kage, as if she’s trying to protect her. I watch, annoyed, but mainly I don’t miss the way the woman sways. I guess she wasn’t prepared for me to call her on her shit.

“I didn’t know you were related to them,” she says stubbornly, still defiant, although her voice shakes slightly.

“Bullshit. You’d have to be completely stupid not to figure it out,” I press, not about to let her try and weasel out of this.

“That’s rich coming from you, considering you don’t even remember me!” she cries, her face getting paler by the moment.

“Of course I remember you, that’s why I’m on to your con, you crazy bitch!”

“Green! You don’t talk to a woman like that. I get you’re upset, but you need to remember your damn manners that your momma and I tried to give you,” Jansen growls.

“I’m not talking about now!” she yells back. “I’m talking about when you slept with me, took my virginity, and then had me kicked out of your hotel room without a second thought!” she snaps.

“Jesus you’re a piece…”

Whatever I was going to say, dies on my tongue, as what she hurled at me hits me right across the face.

“What did you say?”

I don’t know if she can hear me. My voice sounds raw, my breath feels as if it is frozen in my chest.

“Oh God,” she moans, her face going completely white now, as she starts trembling. She shakes her head rapidly. “I didn’t mean to say that,” she says, sounding as if she’s in shock. She claps her hand over her mouth.

“Green? What’s Poppy talking about?” Mom asks.

“Yeah, son, maybe you better explain yourself,”

I don’t say anything, because I can’t. Pieces that have haunted my memory begin to snap into place and when they do, it’s like lead hitting my stomach.

“Oh God, I have to get out of here,” she complains. “I’m going to be sick,” she takes off running and I can do nothing but watch her leave. I’m still seeing visions of her, her head thrown back in passion, moaning as I take her body. It’s all coming back, but along with that is the realization that I had no idea she was a virgin. Is she telling the truth? Jesus, I was so drunk that night, I barely knew my name.

“I better go check on her,” Petal mumbles as she kicks me in the shin as she goes by me. “I never thought that out of all my brother’s you’d be the biggest ass!” she huffs.

“Addie, call Doc out here, maybe he can come check Poppy out,” Mom says, casting me a look and then walking in the direction that Kage ran, the kid in the wheelchair at her side.

“She’s fine,” I respond. “Probably looking for sympathy,” I mutter, rubbing my jaw, wondering how things got so bad, so damn quickly.

“She’s not fine. She’s been sick for a week. You really are an ass, Green House Lucas,” Addie snarls at me. I blink, because Addie doesn’t normally have a bad thing to say about anyone.

“I see you’re picking her over family, too.” Apparently, Kage has the entire female side of the family fooled. “Addie, shouldn’t you at least be outraged to find out your new waitress is a pickpocket—and that’s the best-case scenario. Who’s to say she’s not worse?” I grumble, still staring at the door my mother disappeared behind.

“I know who Kage is, and before you try to convince yourself she’s some kind of big crook, she already confessed to me how she’s been surviving.”

“And you condone it? Your husband is a cop, for Christ’s sake.”

“I think she didn’t have a choice. She had Russ to worry about and trying to keep his medicine in stock and a roof over his head. It may not make it completely right, but it definitely makes it understandable.”

“What kind of medicine?” I ask, annoyed with myself for wanting to know.

“Insulin,” she says, and I turn away from the look of censure on her face.

“Shouldn’t you do like Mom said and call the doctor?” I ask, my hand moving to rub the sudden knot of tension at the base of my neck.

“I will, but it doesn’t matter, I know what’s wrong with her,” Addie says, walking toward the counter.

“What?” I ask before I can stop myself.

Addie turns to look at me, her gaze piercing, and then she says two words that make me feel like the ground is crumbling beneath me.

“She’s pregnant.”

31

Kage

What have I done?

Panic is overtaking me. I’m literally shaking. Russ and I don’t talk as we get into the elevator. I know he’s there, but for the life of me, I don’t think I can talk without bawling my eyes out and I can’t do that.

At least not right now.

My heart feels as if it’s seizing in my chest. I can’t breathe. As the door closes, I see Petal jogging toward us. I’m a horrible person, I don’t even try to stop the door. I let it close. Only when it closes do I sink to the floor, my legs giving out. Russ reaches over, his arms going around my neck now that we’re almost level.

“I fucked up,” I whisper, brokenly.

“You didn’t. You didn’t know, Kage.”

“But, he’s right. I should have. The names should have given it away.”

“It didn’t to me. We’ve been too busy trying to adapt to the changes of living here and being around people who have been good to us. Neither one of us has had that, Kage. It’s a big change.

“You were happy here,” I remind him.

“So were you,” he says, laying the side of his face against the top of my head as he holds me. The elevator stops and opens and somehow Russ manages to push the button to keep the door open.

“We have to leave, Russ. I mean, if he doesn’t put me in jail.”

“Then we’ll leave. It won’t be the first time we’ve started over, Kage,” he reminds me, and I pull away to look up at him.

“You should stay. Addie, Ida Sue, they’re good people. All of them here are. They’d take care of you.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me, Kage?”

“No! Not like that, but I want you to have a good life. You can have that here, Russ.”

“You’re not leaving without me. You’re my family,” he says, making pain pierce through my heart.

“Russ, I have to go. I have to—”

“Neither one of you are going anywhere,” Petal says, standing at the doorway in front of the stairs.

I turn to look at her, unsure of what to say, or how to apologize enough.

“I’m so sorry—”

“That my brother-in-law is an asshole. You and Russ aren’t going anywhere, Kage. We’re keeping you,” Addie says, reaching the top of the stairs.

“Keeping us?” Russ asks.

I can’t do anything but blink as Addie moves up, and then behind her there are Calder, White, CC, Gray, River, Allen, Kayla and another woman that I haven’t met, but behind her is a man I remember that Addie said was named Titan.

“We’re keeping you,” the kids say in unison, stepping in front of the adults and I’m speechless, and unable to keep the tears from starting again.

32

Green

Addie gives me one last evil look before stomping out and slamming the door behind her.

“I think your girl is pissed at me,” I joke, weakly.

Black is at the table sitting across from me. Everyone else has gone home except my son, Black, and Mom. Mom and Allen are upstairs with Kage. I tried to talk to Allen, but I’m pretty sure he feels the same as Addie does about me right now. Fuck, I’m not too fond of myself.

“I think pretty much everyone feels that way about you right now, brother,” Black says, and I lean back in my chair, my leg cocked out on the chair beside me and lean back against the wall.

“This is fucked up,” I mutter, rubbing my hand through my hair and feeling like I’m a hundred years old.

“Do you really think she’s pregnant?” Black asks, and I shrug as if the thought isn’t terrifying me.

“No clue.”

“Could it be yours?”

I want to say no, but a vision of Kage’s face filers through my mind. The sound of her moaning as I’m fucking her. I close my eyes and whisper a silent curse.

“Maybe. I think it’s possible. I can’t really remember that well.”

“What in the fuck does that mean? You either slept with the girl or you didn’t.”

“I was so fucking hammered, I can’t remember a lot, Black. I know that’s fucking lame, but it’s true.”

“Jesus,” he says, sounding repulsed. He can’t be anymore disgusted than I am myself.

“Do you realize what you’re saying here? That woman upstairs said you took her virginity, Green. Now, regardless of what you think, I’ve gotten to know her and she’s young, but she’s a good girl that’s been dealt a shitty life.”

“She could be lying,” I mutter.

“She didn’t look like she was lying to me,” Black says, and I can’t truly argue with him.

“I just remember her hair, mostly,” I tell him, kind of lying, because I do remember her moaning, and the memories of it have haunted me. I can admit—at least to myself—that her voice sounds like the one from my fantasies too.

“Her hair?”

“Yeah,” I mumble letting out a long, tired breath. “When I woke up the next morning I had a hangover to end all hangovers. I was late to be out on the field. My shoulder was hurting like a mother fucker and when I got out of bed, there was a woman there, lying on her stomach. “She had red hair and it was curly and wavy like Kage’s,” I respond, ignoring the way my hand trembles as I slap it back on the table, before admitting the worst. “I was drinking. I didn’t truly remember what happened. I took some pain pills, and I was dealing with the fact my injury wasn’t improving. Hell, Black, I couldn’t even tell you what happened three drinks in.”

“Jesus, Green, I might expect that shit from Cyan, but not from you.”

“I was in a bad space, Black. It’s not an excuse, but I’d just kicked Cynthia out, I felt like a fucking fool for the millionth time. Marissa called bitching that she wanted me to continue paying alimony or she was going to file for custody of Allen. "The doctor told me my shoulder was toast, it was all too fucking much and…”

“And you hurt an innocent woman,” he growls.

“Did everyone miss the part where I told you that she stole my money? She can’t be that innocent if she makes her living fleecing people.”

“We didn’t miss that part, but she confessed that shit to Addie—after Addie had already given her a job. She said her and that boy were scared to death that Addie would turn her in, but she did it anyway, because she didn’t want Addie hiring her, not knowing what she had done before, because Mom had been so good to her.”

I grunt in reply. Black’s words make my gut burn in anger, frustration, and maybe a little bit of fear…

“I’ve been a cop a long time, and I’ve seen some shit that would make that mop on your head you’re so proud of turn gray—at least grayer than it is already.”

“Fuck you,” I snap with a sigh.

“My point is, I think I’m a pretty good judge of people and my gut is telling me that Kage and her brother are good people.”

“Even if that was true, there were condoms on the floor that morning, Black. Used condoms.”

“Yeah, but you said you couldn’t remember shit from that night, maybe you forgot to wrap it up once. Who knows? Condoms aren’t exactly foolproof, Green.”

I rub the back of my neck, because everything he said is true.

“Yeah, I know.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t have a fucking clue,” I admit, feeling lost. Of all the scenarios playing in my head when I first saw Kage from across the room…

This damn sure wasn’t one of them.

33

Kage

“You’re not leaving, Kage,” Ida Sue says with a conviction that humbles me. I don’t truly understand it. I thought they would all hate me, and yet they’ve kind of surrounded me letting me know they were here. In some ways, I kind of feel like I’m in a dream.

“Ida Sue, I truly love you—all of you. In the time I’ve been here, you’ve all went out of your way to give me and Russ a home—”

“That’s because this is your home,” Meadow insists. She’s quiet, softly spoken and gentle normally, but she says that with so much conviction that I want to cry all over again.

“Exactly that,” Ida Sue and Petal insist in unison. Russ reaches over and grabs my hand squeezing it. I look over and give him a smile, even if it is weak.

“I can’t stay here now that we know Green is here. He hates me, and honestly, it’s not like I’ve given him reason not to. I understand it.”

“From the sounds of it, he’s given you reason to feel the same,” Meadow mumbles. I look behind Russ where Allen is standing.

I feel kind of guilty because now I know Allen is his son. Allen is looking at me weird, and I can’t begin to imagine what is running through his head. I swallow nervously, then turn back to look at the women.

“Um… maybe it’s best if we don’t talk about this. It’s not like it will change things.”

“Did dad really get you pregnant?” Allen asks. The question is so jarring coming from him that it feels like he just hit me with a baseball bat in my gut. I can’t breathe.

“What?” I croak, hoping I don’t pass out.

“Addie told Dad you’re pregnant. Are you?” he asks, and an intense flush of heat moves over my entire body.

“Kage?” Russ asks me, and I shake my head vehemently no.

“No! Of course not! Where could she have gotten that idea?” I ask, looking at Ida Sue for direction, my forehead crinkled with my confusion.

“Are you sure you’re not?” Ida Sue asks, as if she doesn’t believe me.

“I think I would know if I was pregnant,” I respond, feeling defensive.

“You have been sick pretty often, Kage,” Petal says, delicately.

“That doesn’t mean I’m pregnant. I’ve had a lot of stress,” I defend.

“I stayed sick from the moment Luka knocked me up until the day of delivery,” Petal grumbles.

“Same with me,” Meadow says.

“I stayed sick all through Green’s pregnancy, that should have warned me he’d be my trouble child,” Ida Sue mutters. “Come to think of it, the same thing happened with you Petal.”

“Sure, Mom, whatever you say,” Petal says, rolling her eyes.

“Okay, you guys need to stop this. I’m definitely not pregnant.”

“So, you’ve had your period since you and Green had sex?” Ida Sue asks, point blank.

“Oh my God, can we not talk about this in front of Russ and Allen?”

“Why? We know what goes on between a woman and a man,” Russ says. I know he does. Unfortunately, when you’re in foster care, there are times you see entirely too much at a very young age.

“Yeah, there was a girl in the class above me knocked up last year,” Allen says, and I frown. I don’t know how old he is, but I would have thought he was too young for that to happen. “She’s a ho, though.”

“Allen,” Petal chastises.

“What? She is. Everyone says so,” he shrugs.

“You need to remember everyone said that about your grandmother too, boy. It doesn’t make it so just because people talk,” Ida Sue warns, and there’s a look on her face that shows the talk was not only real that it probably hurt her, too. People definitely suck a lot of the time. I sigh, then shake my head, trying to concentrate on the topic at hand—namely the one where they all think I’m carrying Green’s baby.

My hand goes to my stomach. I look over at Allen. I don’t know why, but for some reason I want to make something clear to him.

“I’m not… I mean, I don’t sleep around,” I mumble. The minute I tell him that, I kind of want the floor to swallow me whole. I’m sitting here, defending myself to a kid. This has to be a new low point in my life.

“Didn’t figure, since you told the whole room you were a virgin.”

“Oh God,” I complain holding my head down, definitely wishing I could disappear now.

“Maybe you should go down and make sure everything is okay downstairs, Allen,” Petal says delicately. “Russ you could go with him.”

“You want to get rid of the kids to talk about sex stuff,” Allen says. I can’t stop the whimpering moan that escapes, wondering how I got in this mess.

“Yeah,” Ida Sue laughs.

“Fine. Let’s go Russ.”

“I don’t want to leave Kage,” he says stubbornly.

“I should probably go downstairs in case Green insists on pressing charges and Luka wants to arrest me.” I sound tired, because I am.

“Kage—” Russ cries, and I wince, hating I said that in front of him. I need to be more careful, but I’m extremely worried about it. Green was mad enough to not only press charges, but to make sure they bury me under the jail. Before I can try to reassure him, Allen interrupts.

“Dad wouldn’t do that. He might be mad, but he wouldn’t have her put in jail.”

“Damn skippy he wouldn’t. Besides, with you being pregnant he will want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m not pregnant,” I practically yell, exasperated.

“We’ll see,” Ida Sue says, and when I look at her, I get a really bad feeling…

34

Green

“You’re not going to have Kage arrested,” Allen declares. I jerk around from where I’m sitting with Black and look at my son. Fuck.

“Son…” I stop talking as the boy with Kage rolls his wheelchair in behind my son. I scratch the back of my neck, tension nearly choking me.

“If you want to arrest someone, arrest me. It’s my fault.” He wheels his chair so that he’s directly in front of Black. “I can turn myself into you, right?”

“Son, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Black mumbles, casting me a pissed look.

Jesus, this is getting worse by the minute.

“I did. I went to the restaurant that night intent on stealing Mr. Lucas’s money. Kage begged me not to but I wouldn’t listen. I took out on my own and she chased after me. I was going to position my wheelchair behind Mr. Lucas’s car and pretend he backed into me. I was going to blackmail him into giving me money,” the boy responds, and Black looks over at me, his lips not truly moving into a smile, but he looks like he wants to laugh. He casts me a cocky look as if daring me to respond. I hum under my breath, expressing my frustration. The boy doesn’t blink. He continues staring at me, and mentally wishing my death.

I can’t be sure of that last one, but if I was a betting man…

“Listen I know this woman has your loyalty, but there’s no point in lying,” I tell him. I’m going to tell him that I won’t have the girl arrested, but he immediately starts shaking his head, not bothering to let me finish.

“Her name is Kage and I’m not lying. You don’t know Kage, you didn’t bother to find out, but she wouldn’t hurt anyone. She saved my life and she didn’t have to. She could have let me die. I won’t have her go to jail for something that is my fault.”

I would accuse the kid of being over dramatic, but his words are said so vehemently, unshed tears shining in his eyes. If I didn’t already feel like shit from my own family, this kid would be turning a knife, drowning me in guilt.

“Kid—”

“Arrest me,” he says turning to Black, who is wearing his uniform. I look heavenward, wondering what in the hell to do to fix this mess.

“Uncle Black doesn’t have to arrest you. Dad won’t do anything to Kage, will you, Dad?” Allen says, and I don’t miss the anxiousness he tries to hide either. A man likes to think his son knows him, understands him, but it’s clear that I might have failed in that somehow, because Allen is clearly not sure what I’m going to do about Kage.

“Allen, I’m not—”

“Besides she’s pregnant. You can’t have her thrown in jail when she’s having a baby,” Allen says.

“We don’t know if she’s pregnant,” I all but grunt. “But, I’m not going to have her thrown in jail regardless.” I’m practically yelling, tired of my son thinking the worst of me.

“Then, what are you going to do?” Kage asks, standing at the entrance from the kitchen, looking nervous and pale.

Mom and the others are standing beside her and fuck… I may be run out of Mason on a rail.

“I’m not going to have you arrested. If what you say is true, I may have deserved—”

“I don’t lie,” she says stubbornly. I practically bite my tongue to keep from yelling for someone to let me finish a fucking sentence or thought.

“We probably need to talk,” I tell her, dreading it, but needing to all the same.

“So, talk,” she says, looking even more nervous. You’d think after I told her that I wasn’t going to have her arrested, she’d relax a little.

“Alone?” I suggest—rather strongly.

She stares at me, and I can see the reluctance—it’s written all over her face. I don’t flinch, refusing to look away or back down. Finally, she motions toward the kitchen and starts walking that way. I follow after her, and I swear it feels like my feet are weighted down with cement.

That’s how much I’m dreading this next conversation.

As I make it to the door, Mom stops me. “You behave Green House and try to use a bit of that common sense I tried to instill in that brain of yours,” she snaps. My mouth goes tight, but I nod my head, because I have bigger things to worry about than my mother.

35

Kage

When the door closes behind Green, it’s like the cell door of a prison—which is an ironic comparison, but it’s what comes to my mind anyway. I walk across the room to stand behind the large bar that Addie and the other chefs use to work on. It’s got a marble top and I loved decorating Meadow’s cake on it earlier. I loved everything about working here—earlier. Green has managed to ruin that, but then, I have no one but myself to blame.

“I’m not going to have you arrested,” he says. I didn’t realize how scared I was until he says that. He could have only been saying it in front of his mother earlier, while still planning to report me. Hearing him now, when he couldn’t have an ulterior motive, is definitely a big weight lifted—so much so, that my knees go weak.

“I’ll pay you back,” I promise. I’ll make sure I pay him every last dime.

“Listen—”

“I know you think I live off of your family, but I work hard for my pay. Regardless, if it makes you feel better about it, I’ll find another job.”

“Mom wouldn’t let you quit,” he says, rubbing the side of his neck. I frown.

“Probably not, and I don’t want to quit. I like my job and your family… they’re really good people.

He stares at me for a minute, and my heart turns over in my chest. If he demands I leave his family alone, I’ll have to. Working here would be impossible with him against it.

“Then keep working. It’s not like I’m here that often,” he reasons, and relief so sweet I could cry moves through me.

“So, you don’t live in Mason?” I ask, unable to keep the small joy the thought causes out of my voice.

He frowns, the lines on his face hardening with displeasure.

“No,” he snaps.

Clearly he’s not happy with me being here, regardless. I can deal with that if he’s not here, breathing down my neck every day. I clear my throat, trying to at least attempt to come to a civil agreement with him.

“I know you don’t like me, and I don’t especially like you either, but if you’re okay with me working for your family, then, maybe I could still get a part time job in town to pay you back with. That way your family isn’t involved.”

“That makes zero damn sense,” he mumbles, staring at me like I’m crazy.

“I simply meant you might not want me paying you back with your own family’s money,” I try to explain.

“If you worked for it and earned it, as opposed to stealing it, then it’s yours,” he says, making me flinch as if he slapped me in the face.

“You really are a jerk,” I mutter, wondering if jail would be better than dealing with him at this point.

“Are you pregnant?” he snaps, and I stumble back a few steps in shock.

“No, it’s not possible,” I deny immediately, my hand going to my stomach by reflex. He raises his eyebrow and looks at me, and I can’t describe it in any other way but condescending. “I mean it’s possible, but I’d know if I was pregnant.”

“Have you taken a test?”

“What? No. There’s no point,” I practically growl.

“So, you’ve had your period?” he asks, and I feel my face heat.

“I am not discussing my menstrual cycles with you!”

“Why in the fuck not, we slept together, it’s not like we’re strangers.”

“We are strangers! You don’t even remember sleeping with me!”

“I was drunk,” he shrugs. “You can’t hold that against me. If you don’t like it, you shouldn’t have slept with a man drunk off his ass.”

“So, now it’s my fault?”

He has the nerve to shrug and not answer.

I have the urge to slug him.

“You didn’t seem that drunk,” I defend, and he really didn’t.

“Right,” he mumbles.

“You didn’t! You weren’t slurring your words, you weren’t falling or leaning onto me for support and well… you performed… you know.”

“No, I don’t know. I don’t remember!”

“That’s not my fault.”

“Neither is the fact you went home with a stranger and didn’t like how you got treated the next day. I’m not the only one at fault here, lady.”

“I didn’t say you were,” I reply. “But, you could have the decency to kick me out yourself and not have some stranger do it.”

“He wasn’t a stranger!”

“He was to me! And I was naked, in your bed, and that was my blood on your sheets that he saw!”

Something moves across his features and he remains silent for a minute, before finally speaking.

“You need to take a test.”

“I don’t think I do.”

“I don’t truly care what you think, Kage.”

“Well, that’s been evident from the beginning, Mr. Lucas.”

“Listen, we don’t have to make this a fight. If you’re right and there’s no reason to worry, then you shouldn’t care about taking a damn pregnancy test.”

“I don’t need one. I had my period,” I grumble, figuring I should have told him that at first, instead of arguing with him. I lose all common sense when I’m close to him.

“Good to know. I still want you to take a test.”

“By all means, let’s give the big famous baseball player what he wants,” I mutter sarcastically.

“I need to spend some time with my son. I’ll meet you in the morning and we’ll—”

“I can pee on a damn stick without your help,” I huff, my hands crossing at my chest, unwilling to move on this. There’s no way he’s going to go into a bathroom with me while I pee. No freaking way.

“I’m sure you can, but I’m taking you to the clinic for a blood test.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“That’s the only way I’m going to let this drop. Do you have a problem with that?”

“Would it matter if I did?” I huff, hating how smug he looks.

“Not really, no.”

“Then, I guess I don’t have a problem, except I’ll meet you at the clinic. There’s no way I’m going to ride in a car with you. If I did, I’d probably kill you on the way,” I grumble, knowing I should probably watch my words because he could have had me arrested, but isn’t. I can’t seem to stop myself.

“I don’t remember telling you I’d drive you to the clinic,” he all but bellows. I realize that he didn’t. I jumped to conclusions, but that makes me dislike him more.

“What time?” I grit through my teeth.

“I’ll be there at nine in the morning.”

“Fine,” I respond, waiting.

“Fine,” he returns, continuing to stand there, staring at me.

I shift uncomfortably on my feet, unsure of what to do or say next. Finally, he lets out an exasperated growl and stomps out. Once the door slams shut, I finally release a breath. One I didn’t even know I was holding.

36

Green

“Where are you headed so early?” Mom asks. She’s talking to me this morning, that’s an improvement from last night. I spent the night here, playing video games with Allen. I even tentatively brought up the topic of where Allen would like to live. When I mentioned maybe finding a home here in Mason, my kid shot clean into cloud nine. I had to caution him not to get his hopes up and that it depended on what happened with the team, but at least I have my answer. Knowing living here would make Allen happy, pretty much makes my decisions for me. Now, I have to see if I can find a job I like outside of baseball—and that might not be so easy. I mean, I have money. I’ve had a good career and I put money away. But, I’ve also paid alimony and child support that were way higher than ordered. Luckily, Marissa only gets child support now, since we’re past our agreed terms and she married some poor unsuspecting man.

I’m sure he has lived to regret that decision.

“I’m supposed to meet Kage at the clinic.”

“Good,” she murmurs, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Yeah, the quicker I find out for sure that she’s right and not pregnant, the better.” Mom looks as if she’s gloating. “What?” I ask, when it becomes clear she’s not going to say a word, instead silently daring me to ask. I bite, even though I know I shouldn’t. I probably do not want to hear anything Mom has to say on the topic of Kage.

“I’m wondering what you’re going to do if she is pregnant?”

Yep, I was right. I don’t want to talk with Mom on this subject at all.

“She’s positive she’s not, and she said she’s had her period, so I’m not going to stress about it. Chances are it will come back completely negative,” I tell her while pouring my own coffee.

“Did I ever tell you about how I found out I was pregnant with you?” she asks, and I fake shudder—only I don’t truly have to fake it.

“I’d rather not hear any story about you having sex, Mom.”

“I was five months pregnant when I discovered you were a bun in my oven, boy.”

“Yeah right,” I laugh, reaching across the bar to grab one of the store-bought muffins she keeps in a basket.

“I’m serious. I had my period every month like clockwork.”

“Please, Mom. I’m trying to eat here,” I tell her around a mouthful of blueberry goodness.

“But I kept being so sick to my stomach. I thought I had ulcers. I put it off until I couldn’t anymore. The final straw came when I went to church one day and the preacher began giving a sermon on couch potatoes.”

“Huh?” I ask, confused as hell. That’s nothing new when it comes to my mother, but this is definitely a different kind of topic…

“It was a sermon on how some people want to lay on the couch instead of working in the fields.”

“What fields?”

“I know I took you to church a few times, but I think I seriously failed,” Mom mumbles. I hide my smile behind my muffin. Irritating her has always been fun, but I have to admit it’s a lot better when I’m doing it because she’s trying to give me hell. “It’s figurative fields, dummy. Like being out in the world working for the Lord. Instead, people pray to the good Lord to do things for them but aren’t willing to work in the vineyard.”

“So, they should be out getting drunk instead of watching television. Got it.” Mom slaps me against the side of the head. “Ow! Hey that hurt!”

“Good. Maybe it will knock some sense into you.”

“I’m pretty sure child abuse is frowned upon by the Man upstairs, Mom,” I grumble rubbing the side of my head.

“So is stupidity, so you’re probably doomed with me. Anyways, I was trying to tell you how, all through the sermon, all I could concentrate on was potatoes. It was so bad I began to smell them.”

“Maybe it was just one of the parishioners’ feet?” I suggest, tearing off another hunk of my muffin and stuffing it in my mouth.

“Funny. No, it was the sermon, although to be honest I was sitting beside old man Cody and he did smell like raw onions all the time. Someone told him if he rubbed onions over the bottom of his feet, it would take the toxins out of his system.”

“Gross.”

“You’re telling me, it was a waste of time, too. He drank so much that I doubt there were any toxins in his body that could survive,” Mom says with a sigh. I can’t help but laugh, and I shake my head. “Anyway, as I was saying,” she adds. I have to pull my mind back to our original conversation. It’s not easy following Mom’s train of thought when you’re talking to her—or any of us really. “The smell in my head—not Cody’s feet—kept getting worse. At the end of the service, I was so queasy that I was clutching my stomach. It began making noises like World War III was going on in there. I got to the door, trying to dash to the bathroom and unfortunately, Reverend Huff stops me and asks me how I liked his sermon.”

Mom’s silent, not finishing her story. I frown, the last piece of my muffin in my hand.

“What did you tell him?” I ask, knowing my mother there’s a big punch line here and I’m waiting for her to tell him that it was dry as his wife’s gusset. Mostly because I only know what gusset means because my mother has said that numerous times. Her and Beatrice Huff don’t exactly like each other, and when I say don’t exactly, I mean we used to worry Beatrice would go missing one day and we’d find her buried in our back yard.

“Nothing,” she says and damn that’s kind of anticlimactic. Mom reaches over and grabs the last bite of my muffin and plops it into her mouth. “I threw up all over his shoes,” she says and starts walking away. I start laughing, because to be honest, I don’t really like Reverend Huff or his wife that much either. They weren’t good to my mother. Though with hindsight, maybe that’s because Mom threw up on him.

“Hey Green?” Mom calls at the kitchen door.

“Yeah?” I ask her, holding my coffee cup to my lips, and then taking a large sip.

“Addie said Kage has been sick almost every day since she started work and when potato casserole was the special last week, Kage was so bad, Addie had to order her to go home to rest.”

I choke on that drink of coffee. I cough and splutter as fear begins to take root. All this happens with Mom laughing in the background.

37

Kage

“Why do you keep staring at me?” I demand, wondering if there’s a way you can claim self-defense in court for gouging a man’s eyes out.

I’m sorry your honor, but he wouldn’t quit staring and he’s an asshole.

Probably not. I sigh, wondering just how long it could possibly take for blood work to come back. The nurse drew it a good thirty minutes ago.

“Sorry, I didn’t know I was,” he mumbles at me. At me, because he says it with his head turned, walking over to the window. “I’m…”

“What?” I ask, not sure I should ask, but doing it anyway.

“I’m trying to remember, okay.”

“That’s ironic,” I tell him, feeling really tired.

“Why’s that?” Green asks, finally turning around. I didn’t want him to stare at me, but I hate having a conversation with someone’s back. Adversely, instead of having him looking at me right now with those liquid chocolate eyes, I wish he’d turn away again.

Because his words hurt.

“I’ve been trying to forget,” I respond, looking down at my hands.

“Kage, I’m sorry—”

“How about we don’t do this?” I exhale.

“What?”

“The part where you apologize for fucking me, kicking me out and forgetting me. I might be younger than you and I might have been a virgin, but I’m not stupid.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means, I know how this world works. I simply forgot the night we met. Trust me though, I won’t forget again.”

“Now you’ve completely lost me,” he says. When I look up at him, I’m pretty sure gouging his eyes out wouldn’t be enough.

“Someone like you would never be interested in someone like me. I could have been anyone that night,” I answer honestly with a shrug, hoping I’m not betraying the pain that the confession gives me. Because honestly….it hurts like hell.

“You’re a beautiful woman, Kage.”

“You should stop now, Mr. Lucas. It’s not necessary for you to try and make me feel better. Any minute now that nurse will come in and confirm that I’m not pregnant and we won’t ever have to speak to each other again.”

I don’t think I keep the bitterness out of my voice, but I don’t much care at this point.

“At least you’re fairly certain you’re not pregnant,” he says. I watch as he inhales, his cheeks puffing up with air, making him look like a damn chipmunk. It doesn’t seem fair that he can somehow still be cute doing that. Then, he exhales the air, his face turning to stare at the door as the nurse comes back in.

Thank God.

“Do you have the results back?” I ask, so glad that this is almost over. Once this is done, I can finally put the past behind me and begin building a home here in Mason. I can make sure that Russ is happy and healthy. Ida Sue has already helped me begin to put the wheels in motion for that.

“Yes, Miss Bentley. I’m sorry it took so long. The clinic is slammed today, and our lab is backed up. You were one of over sixty blood tests we’ve done so far today.”

“Yikes, I’m sorry to add to your work. Especially since there was really no reason in the first place. I tried to explain that to Mr. Lucas.” I stop to take a breath. I know I’m rattling, but I’m nervous and stressed. I really need to get away from Green. If I never have to be alone with him in a room again—better yet a room in general, people or no people—I’ll be happy.

“You’re welcome,” the nurse says, sitting down on the doctor stool and putting the folder she was holding on the counter. She turns to look at me, smiling. “The doctor would normally meet with you,” she says. “But he was called out to the hospital for an emergency. I can’t be sure how long he will be gone. I can give you the results however, if that’s okay.”

“I’d like to talk—”

“That’s more than fine,” I assure her, interrupting Green and shooting him a look. “We just need it confirmed so that we can move forward and put this behind us.”

“Fine, then. Let’s get this over with,” Green growls, clearly not happy talking to the nurse. I don’t really give a damn. I honestly don’t see why he has to be here at all.

“So?” I prompt the nurse, when she continues looking down at the folder. “Can you please confirm it,” I prompt, her silence annoying me.

“Confirm it?” she asks, confused.

“That I’m not pregnant,” I huff, starting to think maybe I should ask to talk to a doctor.

“I’m sorry I can’t do that,” she says.

“But I thought you said you could give me the results,” I argue, frowning.

“That’s not what I meant, Miss Bentley.”

“Why on earth not? Nurse, I know you mean well—”

“I mean, the results aren’t negative.”

“Fuck,” Green hisses.

“I don’t understand,” I whisper, feeling like I’ve somehow slipped into an alternate universe and I don’t like this one.

I don’t like it all.

“The test is positive.”

“But there’s no… I can’t—”

“The test is positive, Miss Bentley. You’re pregnant.”

No…

38

Green

“Let me down!” Kage huffs, as I carry her out of the clinic.

“I will when we get to the car,” I say with exasperation, ignoring the strange looks that we’re getting.

“Seriously, Mr. Lucas! Let me down. I need to talk to a doctor!”

“You weren’t talking to a doctor, Kage. You were screaming like a banshee at the nurse.” I push through the front door, taking her outside. I let her down out on the sidewalk. She immediately turns to go back inside, and I grab her arm, not letting her.

“Let me go! I need another blood test!”

“You just had one. It’s not going to change, because you don’t like the results.”

“It has too! I’m not pregnant.”

“The blood work says you are,” I mumble.

“I want another test!”

“Will you stop! You should be glad I carried you out of there before they called the law on you.”

“No, you’re being crazy. They wouldn’t have called the law on me. I was merely asking for another test. I’m sure there was a mix up,” she huffs, pushing her hair out of her face and straightening her shirt up. She’s a tiny thing, standing maybe five-four in height. Her head hits me about mid-chest. I’m not the lady’s man that I get accused of. But I can admit that I’ve always appreciated women who are tall, with long legs.

I have to admit there’s something appealing about Kage being so tiny. Then again, she’s curvy as fuck too. Tits, ass, and attitude. She has it all in spades. That shouldn’t be appealing and it sure as hell shouldn’t be what is on my mind right now. I rub the back of my neck, letting go of her arm when I realize I’m still holding it.

“You weren’t asking for anything, Kage. You were demanding—not to mention, you also began throwing things.”

“So? I happen to think they’re wrong, Mr. Lucas. I told you I’ve had my period every month. Clearly they’ve messed something up in there,” she adds, motioning toward the clinic.

“Don’t you think it’s kind of stupid to call me Mr. Lucas under the circumstances?”

“Not really, no. I’m being cordial. Trust me, you don’t want me to call you what really runs through my head,” she says with a smile that’s fake as hell and sarcastic as the day is long.

Tits, ass, and definitely attitude.

“Be that as it may, you’re knocked up and apparently, you claim it’s mine.”

“Oh my God! Did you really say that to me?” she asks, her mouth dropping open.

“I did.”

“I can’t believe you. If you didn’t think it was yours, why did you drag me here in the first place?”

“Because there is a possibility. If the timeline is as the nurse says, that possibility definitely increased.”

“I… So, you think that I what? Have one-night stands with every man I run into?”

“I don’t know you, so I can’t say. Maybe not every man.”

“I…that’s very magnanimous of you, Mr. Lucas. How do you suppose I choose my men? Do you figure I go by the color of their hair? Their eyes? What?”

“The size of their bank accounts,” I snap before I can stop myself.

Her face jerks as if I physically slapped her. I immediately feel guilty for my remark, but I refuse to apologize for it.

“Right,” she mumbles under her breath, looking down at the sidewalk.

“Listen, we need—”

“We don’t need to do anything,” she says softly. “I don’t care what that nurse in there says. I know that I’m not pregnant. It’s my body and if I were, I’d know it. That means, there’s no point to any of this.”

“You can pretend all you want, but the facts aren’t going to change. You’re having a baby and until I can determine it either is or isn’t mine, we’re going to have to try and get along.”

“If I am pregnant, then it’s my baby. I don’t need or want you in my life and neither will my child.”

“Lady, if you are pregnant, I will definitely be getting involved. I will also be a part of my child’s life.”

“Then, it’s a good thing I’m not pregnant,” she says calmly, but her eyes seem to shoot fire at me. She’s pissed and she has a right. I’ve not handled this the best I could. I’ll be the first to admit that this little red-headed spitfire drives me nuts. She turns away from me and starts walking. She’s going the opposite way of the clinic, or I’d think she was going to go back in there and continue demanding another blood test.

“Where are you going?” I demand, refusing to chase after her.

“I’m going back to the restaurant. I work today and I’ve had about all of this bullshit I can handle,” she announces, not bothering to turn around.

I watch her walk away, figuring I know where she’s going and needing time to myself to process all of this shit anyway. Kage Bentley is driving me insane. That’s the only explanation, and it only seems to get worse the more time I spend in her presence. Besides, I’m pretty sure I’m in shock, because that can be the only reason I’m standing here, watching how her ass sways when she walks—instead of trying to figure out how to handle this mess I’ve found myself in.

39

Kage

“Should you be waiting tables in your condition?”

My eyes go wide. And my hand jerks. If it had been anyone else I’d probably slap them over the head with the menu.

“Ida Sue, I’m not pregnant,” I growl.

“That’s not what Green told me the doctor said.” For some reason Ida Sue seems entirely too happy about all of this.

“Then, he’s wrong.”

“So, the doctor didn’t tell you that you were pregnant?” I look into Ida Sue’s face, legitimately confused.

“Actually, he didn’t,” I respond, which isn’t a lie since the doctor wasn’t there.

“Are you telling me that Green lied to me?”

“Who knows what your son was doing. I don’t have the best opinion of him,” I tell her. “Maybe you could tell me why you’re so happy about this?”

“I love grandkids. You can’t ever have too many. Allen doesn’t need to grow up to be an only child,” she says, making me blink, because I’ve heard the others laugh and say that Ida Sue was partly crazy. I thought they were joking. Now, I’m starting to think they were right.

“Then, you might want to start working on Addie to give you a grandchild, because it’s not coming from me.”

I finish filling up the salt and pepper shakers, as well as putting the chairs down around the tables. The entire time I can feel Ida Sue’s eyes on me. With a long, drawn out sigh I turn around, hands on my hips.

“What?” I all but yell.

“Did you know that you can tell if someone is having a girl or boy by the way they walk?” she asks, smiling.

“Oh my God, will you stop? I am not pregnant. I even took a home pregnancy test this morning and it was negative.”

“It was?” she asks, clearly sounding upset. I was right, she is happy about the possibility of me being pregnant.

“It was,” I tell her.

“Well, that’s crap-tastic,” she says with a sigh. “I guess it’s time to work on the original plan.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask, worrying because something about the tone of Ida Sue’s voice sets off warning bells in my head.

“How do you feel about men with pretty eyes, Poppy?”

“Uh…Huh?”

“He’s also very athletic. He plays baseball for a living, so you know he’s fit.”

“Oh no. Forget it. I love you Ida Sue, more than I could ever tell you. You’ve been kind to me and Russ. Your help means the world, but I am not, under any circumstance, dating your son. If I knew what kind of an asshole he was, I never would have slept with him in the first place,” I respond, shaking my head no and thinking about holding my hands out in the sign of the cross.

“I’m not talking about Green. You two aren’t right for each other,” Ida Sue says, shaking her head, looking at her phone as if she’s searching for something on it. “I’m talking about Parker.”

“I’d say the fact I knocked her up says that she can’t have a damn thing to do with Parker, Mom,” Green growls.

My head jerks to the door to frown at Green.

“Don’t you need to go back to wherever you live?” I grumble.

“I should, but I’d say I have a lot going on right here, wouldn’t you?”

“No. Because, as I was trying to tell your mother, I took a home pregnancy test and it was negative.”

“Then it was wrong,” he says with a careless shrug.

“It clearly said that these tests are like ninety percent accurate. That’s like a B average if you think about it. I’d say that’s pretty dang good,” I explain, crossing my arms at my waist, refusing to back down.

“You pissed on a stick, Kage. I hardly think that is nearly as accurate as the doctor’s bloodwork—which said you were pregnant.”

“Technically, I never saw a doctor,” I point out. “Therefore, Mr. Lucas, I’m going with the home pregnancy test.”

“If you call me Mr. Lucas one more time—” he replies.

“You’ll what? You need to realize that we’re not having a baby,” I pause as I walk over to Ida Sue—who is sitting there, watching us, and smiling like a lunatic. I frown at her, letting her see my displeasure, which for some reason makes her smile bigger.

“It may surprise you, Kage, but I do hope like hell that I’m not having a baby with you,” he snarls.

I’d like to say that his words don’t hurt me. I mean, they shouldn’t because the last thing I want is to be pregnant. Plus, Green and I really do not like each other. I definitely have a reason to dislike him, and I hate it, but I totally gave him reason to hate and distrust me. So, it is what it is, and Green is right, having a child together would be a horrible thing. Still, his words and the way he said them hurt. So much so, that I find myself sitting down beside Ida Sue because I have to catch my breath. I also want someone else close to me, because suddenly, I don’t want to be alone around Green.

I’m not sure I can handle it.

He might have reason for his hate, but that doesn’t mean I can handle the venom in his words.

“Then you should be glad that the home pregnancy kit was negative,” I say with a shrug, my hands going under the table—mostly to hide the fact that they’re shaking. Ida Sue reaches down and grabs my hand, squeezing it. I turn to look at her and I can see the kindness on her features, I force myself to swallow down the emotion I feel and squeeze her hand back.

“Actually, I’m not, because I’d rather put my faith in the blood work done at the doctor’s office than your little five-dollar kit from the local dollar store,” he says, and I really wish I could throw something at him. I wonder if Addie would fire me if I threw one of her saltshakers? Chances are that after it bounced off his face it would fall to the cement floor and break.

“You obviously haven’t bought very many home pregnancy tests,” I grumble under my breath, because I paid ten bucks for that sucker. “Do they sell those at the dollar store?” I ask Ida Sue, because I bought mine at the local drug store and I felt like I had a million eyes on me when I did.

“They sell everything at the dollar store, Poppy,” she says, her voice sounding wise and understanding at the same time, as she pats my hand. “Do you want a pickle?”

“I guess so, and what?”

“A pickle,” she says scooting a jar and a fork toward me. “I’ve lived longer than you and when I look back upon the days—you know, when I was going through the things you’re going through, a nice pickle was just the thing to relax me,” she says, sticking the fork in one and pulling it out of the jar, to wave it around at me.

“Um…”

“She means, when she was pregnant like you,” Green says, sitting down at the table across from us. I jump slightly, not realizing he was so close by, and not wanting him to be either.

“I’m not pregnant!” I practically yell.

“That’s good, dear. Have you ever tried peanut butter and pickles?”

I blink.

“Jesus, Mom. Peanut butter and pickles?”

“I craved them when I was pregnant with you,” she says with a sigh. “See, Green House? You were sour from day one.”

Green shakes his head, but I can’t hold it in anymore, so this time I do scream.

“I’m not pregnant!”

Green and his mother both look at me like I’ve gone completely insane and honestly, I might have. If I did, they drove me to it, however.

“You don’t want a pickle at all?” Ida Sue asks, as if she can’t believe it—and as if I didn’t just scream until my lungs burned, while sitting right beside her.

“No!” I huff.

“I guess that’s that,” she mutters. “Then, I definitely think you should meet Parker,” she says, and I frown at her.

“Ida Sue, I know you mean well, but the very last thing I need is to start dating.”

“Not to mention, you aren’t dating anyone while you’re carrying my baby,” Green orders. I look over at him, anger pushing through me so hard that it burns.

“I’m not pregnant, Mr. Lucas,” I reply through gritted teeth. I realize I keep calling him Mr. Lucas because it annoys him. I enjoy that fact, but right now I’m so mad that I really have other choice words for him. I refrain from using them, figuring Ida Sue might get upset—she is his mother after all, the poor woman.

“We’ll see if you’re still saying that a couple of months from now.”

“No, son. If she doesn’t want a pickle, there’s no way she’s knocked up by a Lucas. You little heathens crave those things from day one. I’ve had enough of you, I should know,” she says like it’s a known fact.

I must admit that I take a little solace in her words, because despite the home pregnancy test saying I wasn’t pregnant, I am worried the doctor’s office was right. I’d never admit that to Green, but I might have fudged a little when I said I’d been having my periods. I didn’t really, but then, I never have them normally.

“Mom—”

“Not to mention, all of your brother’s women have craved pickles while pregnant,” she adds. “Poor Kayla would have done better to buy stock in Vlasic,” his mom says, and I don’t know if it’s the fact that Kayla obviously ate a lot of pickles, or the surety in Ida Sue’s voice that I’m pregnant. I suspect it’s the latter, but whatever it is, I’m feeling a lot better. So much so, I find myself smiling. “Which means, Poppy, you need to start dating. Parker has a few drawbacks, that’s true, but he’s a good man and very pretty to look at. Now, I’d be the first to tell you that in the long run, pretty don’t mean a hill of beans. It all hinges on a man’s character. He can be butt-ugly, but if he treats you like a queen and respects you, he gets prettier as the years go along—”

“Gee, Mom. Does Jansen know your philosophy?”

“Shush it. I happened to get the hot guy jackpot. I think my Poppy can find that in Parker.”

“Ida Sue, I know you mean well, but I don’t really want to date Parker.”

“But you need to—” Green’s mom says, but before she can finish what she is saying, Green sticks his big, fat nose into it.

“Mom, she’s not dating Parker,” he denies. “There’s no way. I’m not going to allow it.”

“Excuse me?” I ask, not quite believing what he said.

“I said, I won’t allow you to date Parker,” he snaps.

“You can’t allow me to do anything,” I sputter, still unable to grasp what an asshole he is.

“That baby in your belly says I can,” he says, his eyes narrowing at me.

“I’m not pregnant!” I declare again, exasperated.

“She doesn’t want a pickle son,” Ida Sue says helpfully. “If you truly wanted your little swimmers to do the job, you should have been drinking one of my homemade shakes.”

“Christ, Mom,” he mutters, scrubbing his hand over his face.

“You can’t tell me who I can date, Mr. Lucas, even if I was pregnant—which, I am not.”

“We slept together, and Parker is my friend, my teammate. There’s no way you’re dating him.”

“You mean, you and Parker travel to all of the games together, deal with the same bat bunnies—”

“Bat bunnies?” he parrots, his nose curling in distaste.

“Whatever you call the women that follow you around,” I respond, letting out a frustrated breath.

“Bat Bunnies sound like a pet that vampires have,” Ida Sue murmurs.

I pinch my nose and hold my head down, wondering if the smart thing to do would be to leave and go back to my apartment until the restaurant opens.

“Whatever, I meant I find it hard to believe that with the life you’ve led, and considering how you treated me, that you and Parker have never been involved with the same woman before.”

“She raises a fair point, son.”

“Thank you, Ida Sue.”

“Anytime, Poppy,” she says, patting my hand again. “Have you tried a pickle with strawberry ice cream?”

“I really, really don’t want a pickle,” I tell her, causing her to let out a big, sad sigh.

“Parker is off limits,” Green snarls. I’ve had enough of this.

“Ida Sue?”

“Yeah, Poppy?”

“Tell Parker that I’d love to go out with him.”

“You won’t,” Green says, and I give him my best smile—or the best one I can manage while I’m so angry.

“I will and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it, even if I was pregnant—which I am not!” I tell him standing up. Ida Sue looks at me and Green, I can see her out of the corner of my eyes. She’s still holding the pickle, but I think she’s forgotten, because it’s clear she’s enjoying the show.

“You do this, Kage and you’ll regret it,” he warns, his voice low and menacing.

“I am so doing it. The only thing I regret is agreeing to go to your hotel room the night we met!” I announce. “And, FYI, Mr. Lucas, men don’t ask women to go back to their hotel room to look at their etchings ever. It’s not funny or cute,” I tell him, and then, I grab Ida Sue’s pickle, take a bite out of it and let what’s left fall down on the table in front of Green.

Next, I stomp off, eating a mouthful of pickle and sadly admitting it tastes really good even though I normally hate pickles.

I’m not pregnant…

40

Green

“You cannot go out with her,” I all but yell into the phone.

“Whoa, man, is she yours?”

“Hell, no. It’s not like that, but we have slept together.”

“Green, if all the girls you’ve slept with are off limits for me, I’m going to die never having sex again.”

“Not really. It’s not like I’ve touched Finn’s sister.” I deliberately mention the girl that I know Parker is hung up on—even if he won’t admit it.

“Let that drop right now,” he says in a warning voice.

“Parker, buddy—”

“I mean it Green, you’re the only one that knows how I feel about her, and if it gets back to Finn—”

“I wouldn’t do that shit. I still think you’re making a mistake, Parker. You’re both adults. Finn would accept it, eventually.”

“Never going to happen. Which means dating someone new is a good thing.”

“So, you’re going to use, Kage?”

“It’s a date. Besides, who’s to say we aren’t going to hit it off? Your mother is a pretty awesome matchmaker, I hear.”

“You mean she likes to meddle,” I mutter under my breath.

“That’s not what your brothers say,” he replies, and I frown.

“You’ve been talking to my brothers?”

“Nah, well, just White. He really likes this Kage.”

“Of course he does, she didn’t steal from him and get him arrested.”

“Bro, you have to admit that’s kind of awesome. I mean she wasn’t doing much more than getting even with you.”

“I see White told you the whole story.”

“Your Mom, actually. She thought you’d try to talk me out of dating her and she wanted me to know the whole story.”

“I’m not trying to talk you out of dating her,” I respond, wondering if Jansen would let me put a muzzle on Mom.

“That’s sure what it sounds like, Green.”

“Well, it’s not. All I’m saying, dating her would mean you would be having my leftovers. But hey, if you want to date a thief, who slept with one of your best friends, go ahead.”

“Thanks. It’s good I have your blessing,” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Asshole,” I growl, slamming the phone down on the table beside me, his laughter ringing in my ear.

That didn’t go as planned at all. Looks like it’s time for plan B, I guess. I flop over on my back, bringing my hands behind my head and bunching my pillow up at the same time.

Maybe I should let this drop. What Kage does, really doesn’t involve me.

Unless she’s pregnant.

Fuck, could she be right? Is it possible the blood test is wrong? Or, is she just in denial?

It’s more than likely the latter.

I can’t figure out where my own head is, let alone Kage. Having a child with her, especially under the circumstances, should be the last damn thing I want. She was a one-night stand, and her past isn’t exactly something that screams she would be a good mother. I’ve spent my life with a child that didn’t have a good mother, and regretting that Allen had to suffer for the choices I made. Of course, in the beginning Marissa seemed liked she would make an amazing mother. On paper, if you listed the qualities that I thought she had, you would have never dreamed things would have turned out the way they did.

Then, there was Cynthia.

It seems I definitely have a type. Psychotic women.

Is Kage another one of those?

On the surface, you would think that, but what if Mom, White, Addie and the others are right?

What if Kage really is different?

Fuck…

41

Kage

I’m such an idiot. I only agreed to go on this date because Green told me I couldn’t. I actually would rather have a root canal—not that I’ve had one of those, but I hear they’re painful.

I expel a breath as I look into the mirror. I barely recognize the face in the mirror. Ida Sue and Petal insisted on fixing my hair and makeup for my date. Well, Petal did all the work, but Ida Sue was really good at giving her instructions—most of which caused Petal to roll her eyes and ignore her. I didn’t enjoy it that much, but I did enjoy spending time with them. It helped that they didn’t talk about Green.

Ida Sue did spend the afternoon trying to get me to eat pickles. Every time I turned her down it was like I was kicking a puppy.

“You look really nice, Kage.”

I turn around to look at Russ, trying to smile.

“I don’t know why I agreed to this,” I mumble.

“I think, with Ida Sue, you don’t really have a choice. She kind of takes over,” he laughs, and I join him, the laughter feeling good. I flop down on the couch and I don’t want to say I feel defeated, but I do feel lost. “You’re worried,” Russ says, and I could deny it, but there’s no point.

“A little, yeah.”

“Because you’re afraid Green will change his mind and throw you in jail?” he asks.

“No. I don’t think he will do that,” I assure him. For some reason, I truly believe that.

“Do you think you really are pregnant?” he asks, and some people might think that Russ is too young for us to really talk about these things, but he’s not that much younger than me. He’s also my best friend, so I think it comes naturally.

“I mean, I’d be stupid to say there’s no chance, but I don’t feel pregnant.”

“You’ve never been that way. How would you know?”

“I hate when you try to be practical,” I utter and toss a throw pillow at him, making him grin huge as he catches it.

“I took another test this morning. If I was truly pregnant, you would think it would show up on them.”

“It showed up at the doctor’s.” I can’t stop my grimace, or doubt from showing up on my face.

“Yeah, I know. I need to make a follow up doctor’s appointment.”

“You do. I’m surprised that Green hasn’t demanded it yet.”

“I figure it’s coming. I sure did get us in a mess, didn’t I, Russ?”

“You were only doing what we had to, Kage. It was about survival.”

“I should have listened to you and left Green alone that night. If I had, maybe things would be different now.”

“And maybe not. We can only deal with what we have in front of us,” he says, using words that I’ve said to him at least a hundred times.

I roll my eyes at him and he tosses the pillow back at me. When someone knocks on the door, I sigh.

“Looks like my date is about to start.”

“You may really like him, you know?”

“I think the best thing for me is to swear off guys in general,” I mumble, standing up and straightening my sweater.

“You’re kind of young to become a nun,” he jokes.

“Shut up,” I fake growl and then open the door and somehow manage to smile for Parker.

42

Green

“How about we get some dinner?” I ask Allen, when we make it outside of the theater. I took him to watch the latest Rock movie. It was good, although, if I’m honest, I didn’t pay close attention. I keep thinking about Kage and the fact she’s going out with Parker tonight. It shouldn’t bother me. Parker is a good guy and it’s not like Kage is anything to me.

Except that she’s carrying my baby.

Maybe. She says she’s not and I suppose it could be possible the clinic made a mistake. I decided to take a couple of days for both of us to cool off. We need to be able to talk like calm adults. That doesn’t mean I’m not pissed at Parker. He drove all the way down here and is spending the night at Mom’s and for what reason? To go out with a girl because Mom asked him to. I still think he’s doing it to piss me off.

And it does.

Even if it shouldn’t.

“Sure. How about Mickey D’s?” Allen says, and I should have known. I swear that child might turn into a chicken nugget.

“I thought we might have a real dinner tonight.”

“Nuggets and fries are a real dinner,” Allen grumbles, and I slap him on the back, laughing.

“Not for your old man,” I tell him, and I’m only partially lying. I really don’t like eating fast food normally. That’s not the reason I want to go somewhere else, though. There are only two nice restaurants in Mason. I figure I have a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right, especially since one of those places is Addie’s restaurant. I doubt Parker would be dumb enough to take Kage to the place she works for a date. Finn, maybe, but not Parker.

“We going to Aunt Addie’s?” Allen asks, and I shake my head no.

“I got a better idea,” I tell him. He shrugs and we walk to my truck.

I at least sound like I have a plan when I’m talking to Allen. In reality, I don’t know what in the hell I’m doing…

Once we get settled, I pull out onto the road. I expected Allen to turn the radio on and listen to that horrible music he normally makes my ears bleed with. Instead, it seems he’s in a talkative mood.

Just my luck.

“Did you really knock up Russ’s sister?”

“Damn it, Allen,” I mutter, rubbing the side of my neck. I didn’t truly want to discuss this with my son.

“Did you?” he asks, proving he’s my son and pushing the matter.

“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “It’s possible. I’m making her an appointment to see Dr. Lively this week.”

“I like her, she seems cool,” he says, and that shouldn’t irritate me, but it does.

“You don’t even know her.”

“She’s nice. I’ve seen her a couple of times while Russ and I have been playing. He’s had a real hard time, and if it wasn’t for Kage, he says he would be dead. I thought he was exaggerating—”

“He probably was,” I tell him, really not wanting to hear from one more person how great Kage Bentley is.

“No way, Dad. Her and Russ were in the same foster home together. That’s how they met.”

“Kage was in foster homes?”

“Yeah, and an orphanage that was ran by the state. That’s how they met, he’s not really her brother,” Allen tells me, painting a scene that I wasn’t aware existed. It’s also one I want to know more about. I’d rather ignore it. If I start picturing Kage as this great person that Mom and the rest have fallen in love with… Christ, I’m not sure I can remain detached, and I need too.

Don’t I?

“They’re not really related?”

“Nope. Not at all,” he says, sounding excited. “Anyway, this home they were placed in, was really bad. Like, do you remember that movie Mom made me watch that time and I came home and told you about it, and you went ballistic?”

“Allen—”

“You remember, Dad. The one where the kids weren’t allowed to go outside and they lived in an attic?”

“Yeah, I remember,” I tell him, my mouth tight, because I do remember Allen coming home telling me about it. I also remember how terrified he was, because his mother told him if he wasn’t good, he could end up like those kids, because bad kids get punished. Marissa claimed she was joking but considering that Allen was only five at the time and very impressionable, I didn’t find a damn thing about it funny.

“The things Russ told me made that seem like nothing.”

Acid churns in my gut as I wonder if it’s true. If it is? Does that explain even more why Kage resorted to petty theft to survive?

“Allen—”

“This guy used to beat Russ and Kage, mainly because Russ had to have medicine and the couple that they were placed with used to sell it. When Russ got really sick, the guy started wailing on Russ. Kage came home early from school and jumped the guy. Russ said she had a schoolbook and she kept hitting the guy with it over and over.”

“What happened then?” I ask, my hands tightening up on the steering wheel and this unreasonable anger pushing through me.

“Russ said he beat Kage, pretty bad—even broke her arm.”

“Christ.”

“Yeah, I mean she’s a girl and not real big. She had to know she was going to get her ass handed to her,” Allen says. I swallow as my mind plays that very scenario in my head. Then, I remember I’m a dad here and I might suck at times, but I’m basically the best shot my boy has not to grow up to become an asshole.

“Allen, language,” I mumble, knowing it’s hopeless. My kid’s a teenager and I’m sure he hears a fuck of a lot worse, and says it when I’m not around, but I figure I have to try. Life sure was a lot easier when Allen was a small kid. I feel like I’m failing at being his father, and I have to worry if I will be any better with another child if Kage is pregnant.

“Ass isn’t a bad word, Dad. Gram-maw says it’s in the Bible,” he says barely taking a breath. I frown, deciding to pick my arguments and the word ass is not one I truly want to pick.

“How did Kage and Russ get away?” I ask as I pull into the parking lot of the town’s lone steakhouse.

“Kage called her school principal the next morning when she was left alone. They were sent back to the orphanage.”

My son sounds sad as he tells me that and I can’t say as I blame him.

It is sad and I don’t know how I feel about it all.

I stare at the steakhouse and try to talk myself out of going inside. I fail.

43

Kage

“How’s your steak?” Parker asks. I smile at him. Parker is nice. So far, it has been a really good night. Parker is thoughtful and really funny. He’s also really hot. I’m a woman and I can admit that the guy has movie star good looks. He’s tall, with broad shoulders, he’s got these beautiful brown eyes that sparkle when he laughs. He’s perfect and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was kind of attracted to him, but for some reason, every single time I look at him, I think about Green—and it’s really pissing me off.

“It’s really good. Yours?” Gosh I’m a lame date. We’re talking about food. What’s next, the weather?

“Not too bad. I’m told this is the best place to grab a good meal in Mason.”

“You’re not from here?” I ask, taking a drink of my water.

“Nah, I’m from Georgia. I only ended up in Texas because of baseball,” he says, and I have to admit I do like the way he looks directly at me when he speaks.

“Oh,” I murmur, unsure of what else to say.

I’ve not gone on many dates. Actually, I’ve had four dates and one of those wasn’t a date. One of those was a hookup and a one-night stand with Green Lucas.

And there goes my appetite.

“I like it here though. The weather isn’t a lot different from Georgia.”

Crap we’re talking about the weather. This is a disaster. What is wrong with me? Any woman alive would like to be sitting where I am.

“Wow, imagine running into the two of you here.”

My head jerks up, my breath stalling in my chest as I see Green standing over us, his son beside him.

I watch as Parker leans back to look at Green. He’s smiling huge and I want to admire the way he looks when he laughs—because any girl would, but instead, my gaze is drawn to Green. I don’t think it’s my imagination that he looks uncomfortable and although his gaze moves to Parker, it comes back to me and the heat from it makes my stomach flutter nervously.

“You look nice tonight, Kage,” Green says, confusing me.

“Uh…thanks,” I mumble, unable to process what’s going on enough to say anything more.

“Hey Kage,” Allen says, and I focus on him, figuring that’s safer.

“Hey, Allen. Did you enjoy the movies?” I ask, knowing his dad was taking him there tonight. He invited Russ to go along, but Russ wouldn’t go.

“Yeah, it was pretty cool. I wish Russ would have gone with us.”

“He didn’t—”

“I wish he had too. I know we’ve had our issues Kage, but I hope you know that I would take care of Russ.”

I frown. “I wasn’t involved in the decision Mr. Lucas. Russ pretty much decides what he wants to do and what he doesn’t.”

“Do you think that’s wise? I mean he’s only a child.”

“Hey, Dad. We’re practically the same age!”

Green winks at his son and moves his arm around his back in a bear hug. Something about seeing that makes my heart squeeze inside my chest, but I do my best to ignore it. Green Lucas has been a jerk to me, it would be a disaster to forget that now.

“And if I let you decide everything, we’d live in a theme park and eat chicken nuggets and hot dogs,” he jokes.

“Hey, Green it’s nice to see you and all but—”

“You too, we should really catch up soon,” Green answers. I notice Parker’s smile is still there, in fact, he looks like he might bust out laughing.

“Sounds good, although we did talk on the phone last night. I’ll make a note to catch up with you soon.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize there would be more guests. Would you like me to bring some menus?” the waiter asks, as he puts mine and Parker’s drinks on the table.

“No—”

“Well, that’s a great idea. We can catch up now. Allen, grab a seat,” Green instructs. I blink in astonishment, not quite believing what is happening.

“Cool,” Allen says, clueless. “Do they have chicken strips?”

“You sound like Russ,” I laugh, scooting over so he can sit down beside me. When I look up, Green is staring straight at me. I look over at Parker and he’s watching Green. He turns to look at me, giving me a wink.

I don’t know what that means, but considering everything that’s happening, I am pretty sure it can’t be good.

44

Green

“Kage and I were on a date, you know?” Parker says and since I have no idea what I’m doing, I continue to play the asshole.

“You were?” I ask, stupidly.

“We are,” Kage replies. She looks at me like she thinks I might be insane. That is probably the first thing she and I can agree on.

“Did you know Parker here, lives in San Antonio?”

“We were uh…just getting to that, weren’t we, Parker?”

“We were trying,” Parker says, dryly.

“Well, he does. Actually, Parker here got an apartment right next door to another teammate. Finn Archer, do you know him?”

“Uh… No, I don’t know him,” Kage murmurs, and I frown.

“Are you sure? He’s one of the big stars on the team,” I tell her, watching her closely for signs that she’s lying. I’ve been around a while, so I’m pretty well known, but I’m also on my way out. Parker and Finn, however, are currently the media’s darlings. They’re on every sports story coming and going, plastered on the television and in the magazines.

“I don’t really watch sports,” she mumbles, blushing. “I’m sorry Parker.”

I want to say she’s lying, but everything about her face says that she’s not. What’s more, she’s blushing. Do women blush who make a living trying to blackmail and steal from men, actually blush? Is it an act? Is it real?

Fuck me if I’m not starting to buy into everything my family is saying about Kage.

How is that even possible? More importantly, where does that leave me?

“It’s okay, honey. I kind of like that you don’t know baseball,” Parker says, and I fight the urge to hit him for calling Kage honey.

“Dude, Russ said you wouldn’t watch sports with him. Like how is that possible? Sports are the greatest. Football is what I like the best, though. I’m going to be like Uncle White,” Allen says, causing me to sigh.

I am man enough to admit that Allen’s sudden obsession with football a few years back has developed into a passion. He was decent at baseball. I’d hoped he would stick with it, but if football makes him happy, I can accept that. White tells me he’s really good and that he has a chance for a real career. That’s all any parent can hope for. I want to support him as he pursues his goals. Still, it stings to hear him so excited about being like my brother. It’s kind of a blow to the old ego.

I watch as Kage’s face softens and her fingers ruffle through Allen’s hair. The gesture should look ridiculous, since at fourteen Allen is close to Kage’s own height, even a little taller. It doesn’t though. It looks sweet. It looks like the kind of thing that I always hoped Allen’s mother would give him… and never did.

Neither did Cynthia, for that matter. I’ve made a million mistakes and Allen has paid for every last one of them. Am I making even more?

I clear my throat because it’s suddenly feeling tight.

“Anyway, Finn and his sister, Faye, live there.”

“Green,” Parker says, and he doesn’t seem as relaxed now. It serves the asshole right for laughing at me. I know I’m acting like a lunatic. I don’t need him to rub it in.

“I’m simply saying I think it’s admirable that you move close to a friend so you can help him take care of his little sister.”

“Green, don’t push me,” Parker says quietly—so quiet I can’t be sure Kage hears him. I’m being a major dick tonight, and I know it. But damn it, I warned him not to take Kage out. He insisted.

I start thinking about leaving. After all, I’m not sure what’s going on in my head and I’m definitely not sure why I’m jealous. I don’t specifically like it, but until I do figure it out, I don’t want Parker near her. Hell, I don’t want any man near Kage.

Then, I notice what she’s eating—well picking around at on in her plate, really. I’ve not seen her eat. I instantly get worried though.

“Are you sure you should be eating steak?” I ask Kage, forgetting that I was going to bring up the fact that Parker is in love with Faye. And he is—even if he won’t admit it.

“What?” Kage asks, looking down at her plate and then back at me.

“Steak? Are you supposed to stay away from red meat?”

“What are you talking about?” Kage asks.

“Are you allergic to something?” Parker asks, just as confused.

“Mr. Lucas—”

“Green,” I bemoan.

“Mr. Lucas, I can assure that my steak is perfect.” Then, as if to prove her point, she takes the bite that she’s had on the end of her fork forever.

“I’m sure I read about that.”

“Green, what are you talking about?”

“I’m going to call my mother,” I announce, ignoring Parker’s question. I dial my phone holding my hand out to silence them all, my panic full blown.

“Hey Green, what’s up? And if you called to give me the riot act over Kage and Parker again, I don’t want to hear it. I’m working on a bigger plan here, and I don’t have a lot of time.”

“Mom, cool it. We can talk about it later,” I tell her, wondering what her bigger plan is and if I should worry. I know I should, but I’m panicking too much to concentrate on that right now.

“What’s wrong, Green?” Mom asks, and I can tell she’s picked up on the worry in my voice.

“I’m here with Kage and Parker and—”

“Oh my God, you showed up at their date?” Mom squeals and the funny thing is, she doesn’t sound upset that I’m ruining the date she took great pains to set up. Nope, she sounds absolutely gleeful. That alone should make me worry enough to snap me out of the chaos I’m getting ready to unleash, but it’s not. Turns out, I’m an idiot who doesn’t know how to handle being scared.

When Kage goes to put another bite in her mouth, I reach out and grab her fork.

“What are you doing?” Kage hisses.

“Is that my Poppy? What’s going on Green House Lucas!”

I shake off the irritation that name gives me and try to pull the conversation back to where I want it.

“Is it safe for someone in Kage’s condition to eat red meat?” I ask Mom.

“What’s wrong, Kage? I’m so sorry. I should have checked to see if you had any allergies,” Parker apologizes in the background. “What condition are you suffering from?”

“My dad knocked her up,” Allen says proudly, and I almost want to give him a high five, even when Parker goes silent and then bursts out laughing. Kage isn’t laughing. She’s denying she’s pregnant again.

“Can you answer the question,” I pointedly ask Mom, putting my hand against my ear, as if to shield it from the chaos around me.

“What’s she eating? You like her, don’t you Green House? If you did, why didn’t you tell me. I hope Parker’s not too disappointed,” Mom mutters.

“She’s having steak. That’s why I asked, can you stay focused here? This is kind of important.”

“I’m focused, smartass. I swear, I should have taken you out to the woodshed more often as a child.”

“Mom, we didn’t have a woodshed,” I remind her.

“And more’s the pity for it,” she huffs, making me shake my head.

“The steak, Mom? Your future grandchild?”

“Mr. Lucas, I’m not pregnant!” Kage yells out. She’s loud enough that the restaurant goes kind of quiet.

“If you two are having a baby, why do you call him Mr. Lucas?” Parker asks.

“That’s what I’ve been telling her,” I tell Parker.

“Steak is fine in my book. I don’t know what those fancy doctors say about it these days, but well-done steak never hurt a soul—well, except for the steer it came out of, I suppose.”

“How is your steak prepared?” I ask Kage, whose eyes are narrowed on me. She looks like she might be plotting my murder.

“I am not pregnant!” Kage somehow says that quietly, but it comes out with so much anger that it feels like she roared it. If you think about it, that’s an impressive feat.

“Is Poppy still spouting that nonsense?” Mom mutters.

“Yeah, and she won’t tell me how her steak is prepared,” I complain.

“Let me talk to her,” Mom orders.

I hold the phone out to Kage. “Mom wants to talk to you,” I tell her, somehow facing the death rays shooting out of her eyes. I’m pretty damn glad she doesn’t have a gun right now.

“I’m going to kill you,” Kage grouses, making me smile.

“Is that any way to talk to the father of your future children?” I ask innocently.

“Ida Sue, I’m not pregnant,” Kage says into the phone, ignoring my question.

“Damn man, you’ve got balls,” Parker says, still kind of laughing.

“A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do,” I murmur, which makes him laugh more.

I’m starting to wonder why I liked this asshole.

“It’s well-done,” Kage huffs and I finally relax. I need to start reading up on pregnancy, just in case. “No, I still don’t want any pickles,” she huffs. That doesn’t make me entirely happy. I can admit that the more I think about the possibility of Kage being pregnant, the more I like the idea. I always wanted more kids, but it never worked out. “Here,” Kage grumbles, practically shoving the phone in my face.

“Yeah, Mom?”

“She still says she’s not pregnant.”

“I know Mom,” I mumble, rubbing the back of my neck, wondering if that’s a good thing. I don’t know Kage. Yet, if I stop thinking of her along the lines of a thief and instead as a woman I treated wrongly, then I need to reevaluate a hell of a lot.

“Lucas swimmers usually are pretty damn potent. I think they could swim up-river in a raging thunderstorm and still find their mark,” she grumbles.

“Good to know.”

“Still, try getting her to eat some watermelon, peaches too. Berries are good and milk. She should drink a lot of milk—dairy in general,” Mom considers. I can’t tell if she’s talking to me or making out her grocery list.

“I’m not sure that matters, Mom. I mean the deed is kind of already done now,” I remind her. I ignore Kage’s gasp and Allen and Parker’s laugh. I guess I was wrong in assuming they wouldn’t know what I was talking about because they couldn’t hear mom.

“Yeah, but maybe you left behind a slow swimmer who is taking his sweet time to the promised land.”

“You’re a strange woman, Mom.”

“My kids take after me,” she reminds me. Normally, I’d argue with her, but considering how I crashed Kage’s date and went crazy over her eating steak, not to mention contemplating how to get her knocked up, if she isn’t already…I’m not sure I have grounds to argue.

“Okay, Mom, I gotta go.”

“See if you can get her to eat watermelon,” she reminds me again. “Okay.”

“And berries!” she says.

“Got it. See you later, Mom.”

“Later, son.” Once she hangs up, I click off my phone.

“Do you really think that was necessary?” Kage huffs.

“Better to be safe than sorry,” I respond with a shrug.

“Are you ready to order?” the waitress asks, as she comes back to our table.

“Yeah, I reckon we are,” I tell her. “Allen, you first.”

Allen gives his order while I thumb through the menu.

“And you sir?” the waitress asks.

I order my steak and sides and then I look right at Kage and grin. “Can we get the fried pickle appetizer?”

If Kage’s hand goes any whiter as she holds her fork….

45

Kage

One Week Later

“NO, Ida Sue. I will not go out with this Finn, guy. Why would I do that? The date with Parker was horrible.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“It was worse! The date was a complete disaster, and while we’re talking about it, when will you and Green get it in your heads that I am not pregnant?”

“There’s still a chance,” she insists, like a dog with a bone.

“There’s zero chance. The doctor’s office even called today to confirm the new blood test I had run yesterday was negative. They can’t figure out why the last was a positive, but I am not pregnant.”

“You said they asked you to come in for a third test, right?”

“They did, and I will, but it will be negative, too, trust me,” I respond, feeling exhausted.

“Poppy, you don’t look so good. Are you sick?” Ida Sue questions. I smile, despite feeling like death warmed over. For some reason, I’m not only getting used to being called Poppy, I kind of like it.

“So sick,” I whine, closing my eyes and pulling the throw on the back of the couch over me.

“The flu? Or, are you really pregnant?”

“Oh God, Ida Sue, I love you—”

“You do?” Ida Sue gasps. The emotion in her voice causes me to open my eyes to look at her. This feeling of warmth fills me. I can see clearly how much me admitting how I feel about her means. Then again, that’s one of the things I love about Ida Sue. She lets it all hang out. You can see everything she feels on her face.

“Ida Sue, you’ve done so much for me, you’ve opened that big heart of yours to include me. You are beautiful inside and out and I think the day I met you in that diner was the best day of my life. Of course, I love you.”

“Poppy—”

“And I even love my nickname you gave me.”

“You do?” she whispers, moving over to me. She sits down on the coffee table in front of me and that’s when I can see the tears shining in her eyes.

“I do,” I answer. “It makes me wish…”

“Wish what, Poppy?” she asks. I swallow, suddenly feeling a lot of emotion myself.

“I wish that I had been lucky enough to have a mother like you,” I murmur and before I can say anything else, she wraps me up in her arms and hugs me close.

And then, we both cry.

Russ and Allen come in and look at us. Ida Sue and I pull apart wiping at our eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Russ asks, sounding scared.

“Nothing,” I respond, smiling up at Ida Sue through watery eyes.

“We’re just happy,” she says, in much the same shape.

“Girls are so weird,” Allen whines and Russ shakes his head in agreement.

“I need to get going. I promised Jansen I’d fix his favorite for supper tonight. I was going to invite you over for dinner, but I guess you don’t feel like chicken and dumplings?”

“More like a heating pad, chocolate, and ice cream, but I doubt you’re carrying those in your purse,” I profess.

“You mean you’re that kind of sick,” she says, sounding so sad that I have to hide my smile.

“Yeah.”

“Then, you’re really not pregnant.”

“I’m really not,” I tell her, and I refuse to analyze why I feel sad about that.

I take birth control because of female issues I’ve always had, so I knew me being pregnant was a long shot. I’m probably being over emotional because of my period. Luckily it’s almost over.

“What about all those times you were throwing up and sick to your stomach?” she asks.

“I’ve always had a nervous stomach,” I admit. “When I get stressed out, it happens. I did that before I ever met Green.”

“Well shit, this sucks,” Ida Sue mumbles.

“What are they talking about?” Allen asks Russ.

“Kage started her period. She ain’t pregnant.”

“You’re not?” Allen asks, and dang it, now he sounds upset.

“Nope.”

“That sucks,” he grumbles, sounding like his grandmother.

“Your dad will be happy,” I remind him.

“I guess so,” he says with a shrug. “Hey Russ, my dad will be here in about twenty minutes, we got time to play another round of Fortnite. You wanna?”

“Yeah, dude, let’s go,” Russ replies, immediately going back to his room. He’s probably excited to get that last little bit in with Allen’s game system. My next paycheck I’m going to have to try and get him one.

“I’ll be heading out,” Ida Sue says getting up and going to collect her purse.

“Ida Sue, did you ever hear back from your friend at the Judicial Center?”

Ida Sue jerks and keeps her back turned to me.

“Um… no. Nothing new to report yet,” she replies.

I frown. “I’ve got to figure something out soon. The school system has a placement test for homeschooled kids. I’d like to sign Russ up. He’s really wanting to try and go to school here when it starts back in the Fall. But mostly, I’d like to have it in writing that they can’t take him back into the system.” Worry bleeds through my words. The longer it goes on without word from the people Ida Sue said could help makes the fear churn inside of me.

“It will work out. I think we need to concentrate on getting you more stable.”

“What do you mean?”

“A nice man—”

“Ida Sue,” I respond.

“Saved by the bell,” she laughs, as she answers her cell that starts ringing. “Hello?” She pauses after answering and I watch as she starts to smile. “Hey, Green. Is something wrong?”

“Oh yeah, I can do that. I’m at Poppy’s now. Sounds good. Love you too.”

She hangs up and turns to look at me. “Green was held up. He asked me to pick Allen up.”

“You’re not going to be too popular,” I warn her, figuring Green doesn’t want to come here to face me. After the debacle at the steakhouse, it’s probably wise.

“You act like I was just a grandmother yesterday, Poppy. Hey boys?” she shouts.

“Yeah Gram-maw?”

“How would you both like to spend the night at my house tonight? You can camp out in the den with the big television all night.”

“All right!”

“Cool!” the boys shout and I laugh when Ida Sue looks victorious.

“Won’t Jansen dislike giving up his television?” I ask her, laughing.

“I’ll find other ways to distract him.” She gives me a wink and I shake my head.

“It’s going to be okay, Poppy,” she promises.

Things have never really worked out for me my entire life, but I hope Ida Sue is right.

I really do.

46

Green

I knock on the door and even as I’m doing it, I wonder if I’m making a mistake. I’ve made bad choices my whole life—especially when it comes to women. It is a very real possibility that Kage is simply another bad choice. I don’t know her, not really. I can’t deny that I remember parts of our night together and those haunt me at times. Listening to the things my mother and sisters say, and even my own son, are getting to me. I’d accuse them of trying to matchmake, but they talk about her when they don’t know I’m around. It makes me want to get to know her, to trust my instincts with her.

More than any of that, however, is a much more basic need.

I’m attracted to Kage. She’s too damn young, but it doesn’t change the facts. When I looked for a mother for Allen, I always had a clear list. I never followed it, because I couldn’t seem to get free of Cynthia, but I still had it. Kage is none of the things on that list, except maybe the fact that she shows care and tenderness toward my son. I can admit that was my biggest wish, but the others on that list are just as important. Kage is young. I wanted a woman who was older, more mature, settled in life so she could devote time to my child and any children we had in the future instead of her career. That makes me feel like an asshole, but now that I’ve had my career and I’m looking to retire, I wanted the same out of a partner.

How stupid was I that I stayed attracted to a woman, whose career was sleeping with men and living off of the money that brought in—and I’m not talking as a hooker. Hell, maybe I could respect Cynthia more if she was a hooker. At least a man would know going in what he would get.

There’s another thing that I never considered when it comes to Kage. I’ve thought about her constantly since coming home to Mason. I haven’t thought of Cynthia once, except with regret. Is the change because I am completely attracted to Kage? I’m thinking it might be.

When she opens the door, I’m pulled from my thoughts. Instead, I watch as her forehead wrinkles when she looks at me. I’m drawn to how full her lips are, how beautiful her face is without a trace of makeup, how her red hair is piled on top of her head, not brushed, but still managing to look like a crown on her head. My fingers flex with the need to feel it, commit it to memory so that I never forget again. I force that urge down, knowing that it would scare Kage to death, because it kind of scares me.

My gaze drops down to the button up shirt she’s wearing. It looks like a mans and I’m not really cool with that. I’ve been spending so much of the last couple of weeks trying to clear out my thoughts, memories, and needs, that I never considered there wasn’t a chance to get to know Kage better, to make love to her, stone cold sober.

And since I’m being honest with myself, I can admit that’s something I truly want and what all my self-questioning and nerves is all about.

“Who’s shirt?” I ask, frowning.

“What?”

“Whose shirt are you wearing?”

“You do realize it’s custom for people to say hello when they show up on someone’s door,” she snaps.

“Hello,” I comply. “Now, who’s shirt are you wearing?”

“I don’t feel good enough to deal with you, Mr. Lucas. It’s my shirt and you wasted a trip. Your mother picked Allen up and Russ.”

“Is it so hard for you to use my first name? It’s not like we haven’t known each other in the biblical sense.”

“You don’t remember it, so that doesn’t count. What have you got?” she asks, her eyes narrowing as she takes in the bags I’m carrying.

“Let me in and find out,” I challenge her.

“Allen’s not here,” she reminds me again.

“I know. I’m here to see you.”

She stands there studying me for a few minutes. I’m fully prepared for her to tell me to leave. I’m actually surprised when she doesn’t. She does let out a large, frustrated breath that I’m sure is designed to let me know she doesn’t want me in her apartment. I ignore it and walk inside.

“I’m probably dying of some strange virus that is highly contagious so you should leave,” she warns as she flops back down on the couch.

“You’re not,” I laugh “You’re on your period,” I laugh, moving into the kitchen to unload my bags.

“Your mother told you that?” Kage screeches, sitting up on the couch to look at me.

“Not exactly,” I hedge, not wanting to admit I was at her door listening to her and my mother talk, before deciding to leave and get some things to make Kage feel better. Sure, I saw it as a way to soften her up, but I’m not stupid, I’ve seen how hard she works in Addie’s restaurant. She needs a little pampering and I’ve never done it before, but I’m looking forward to it.

“Which means she did,” she mutters, and I make note to apologize to my mother someday. “Well, then, you should be happy to know that I’m definitely not pregnant. Not only am I having a very heavy period—”

“I’m a man, I’m not sure I want the details on that front, Kage.”

“You’re here, you could always leave if you don’t wanna hear it,” she points out. I ignore her. She mumbles under her breath and then continues. “Anyway, the doctor’s office also called and I’m definitely not pregnant.”

This news too, is not a surprise. “You need to have another test.”

“I know, I’m going to, but I’m not pregnant.”

“Probably not,” I concede and then I come back into the living room, my hands full.

“What’s this?” she asks, looking at me suspiciously.

“Some things to make you feel better,” I tell her, putting the easiest down first.

“Chocolate milk will make me feel better?”

I frown. “Don’t women crave chocolate when they’re in pain?” I ask, improvising because I heard her ask for chocolate when she was talking to Mom.

“Yeah, I guess, although most of the time, it’s the chocolate in candy form we want. Well, that or ice cream.”

“The milk is merely to get you started. You have to eat, but I can assure you that I have chocolate ice cream in my arsenal too,” I joke. I’m totally ignoring that I bought several things of chocolate ice cream, along with the milk. I’m also ignoring that dairy is what Mom suggested to give Kage so she would be more likely to conceive. I’m not stupid enough to think I have soldiers swimming around inside of her slow to get to their target—as Mom colorfully puts it. I merely think, it would be good to be ready in the future, if we happen to reconnect. If…

Damn, maybe Mom has finally driven me insane.

“What else do you have?” she asks, an eyebrow cocked and distrust all over her face. If I want to see if there is something between me and Kage, I definitely have a large mountain to climb to get her to try.

“A heating pad?” I question, wondering if I got that wrong. For some reason, I’m nervous and I don’t understand it. I hold out the new heating pad I purchased at the store, the long pad encased in a burgundy cover that felt super soft and I thought she’d like it.

“Oh my God,” she whispers, reaching out to grab it as if it was the Hope Diamond. “I could almost love you if I didn’t hate you,” she says, and I frown.

“You shouldn’t hate me,” I mutter under my breath.

“We had sex and you left without caring what happened to me. You sent someone else into your hotel room to kick me out, knowing I was naked and again, not caring,” she says, her voice going hard.

I did do all of those things. I may not remember much of the night before, but I do remember the following day and I did do all of those things, without worrying about anything. I can admit that and own the guilt I’m feeling.

“You’re acting like I didn’t know the guy I sent in. I knew he wouldn’t hurt you,” I mumble, knowing that it sounds lame, even to my own ears.

“Gee thanks. I guess that’s something. It’s good to know you figured you would be the only one to serve up my hurt,” she replies sarcastically.

“If you’re going to be like this the whole time, it’s going to put a crimp in our plans this evening,” I respond with a sigh heading back to the kitchen.

“I don’t really have any plans. Although, I am wondering what you’re doing here.”

“I came to try and make you feel better,” I reply. At least I’m mostly honest this time.

“Why are you being nice to me all of the sudden? Is there something going on that I don’t know about?”

“Maybe I want us to be friends,” I suggest. I’m not totally lying. I would like to be friends with her.

“Why?” she asks, confused.

“Why?” I blink, not expecting that answer.

“Yes, why? What’s the point? It’s not like we really have to deal with each other. You work in San Antonio and I’m okay if I never go back there. I like Mason.”

“You work for my family,” I point out.

“Well, yeah, but that hardly means that you and I need to associate.

“How about the fact that Russ and Allen are good friends?”

“Maybe,” she responds grudgingly. “Allen is a good kid. Can I ask why he goes to school here and back where you live?”

I retrieve the next bag from the kitchen and grab a soda and go back to where Kage is. I put my goodies on the coffee table in front of the couch, loving the smell of the takeout meals inside. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until now.

“That’s new, actually. Allen wanted to be in Mason. He doesn’t like the school he’s enrolled in and I have to travel a lot. It was getting to the point he saw the nanny I hired more than he saw me, even with me traveling back and forth to work every day so I could see him. And during away games… Let’s just say Allen hated having to be yanked out of school to live on a bus.”

“I would imagine. Poor baby.”

“He’s hardly a baby. Although, you’re so young, you’re closer to his age than mine,” I point out, not liking that fact at all.

“You are kind of ancient.” Her tone is gleeful and when I turn around to face her and give her a mean look, she starts cackling with laughter.

“That wasn’t nice,” I mumble.

“It was funny, though,” she counters and scoots over to give me room to sit down beside her. I’d think that was progress, but really, it’s the only place to sit. I could have sworn there was a chair, but I’ve not been up here in forever—not since I helped Black move some furniture in. Furniture that also included a chair.

“Sit,” she mutters, when I hesitate. “Allen and Russ commandeered the chair and took it into Russ’s room while they played video games.”

Well, that explains that. I sit and then stretch over to get the to-go containers out of the bag.

“I hope you like spaghetti.”

“Always,” she nearly moans. I close my eyes, that tone in her voice sounding intimately familiar. Briefly, a picture of her moaning while I’m biting on her neck flashes in my mind. My dick stretches against the seam of my pants in reaction.

As we uncover the plates and start to eat, I can feel the head of my cock swell, my shaft straining as it roars into life the entire time she’s eating, licking the sauce off her fingers.

It’s going to be a long afternoon…

47

Kage

I fell down a rabbit hole. It doesn’t matter that my name is not Alice, it’s the only explanation that I can come up with for what’s going on.

Green Lucas is in my apartment. He brought dinner, waited on me, brought me a heating pad and some Ibuprofen and he’s currently sitting at the end of the couch, holding my feet—yes…holding my feet! I still can’t believe that and I’m kind of dying with shame at the unpainted toes, but glad they’re hidden under the throw that I’m covered up in.

I put the spoon to my mouth—because Green did bring me a pint of moose tracks ice cream, which is my favorite, and I’m not sure how he managed that, and I suck the cool delicious bite of pure sin into my mouth. It tastes so good that my eyes close in pleasure.

This might be the best evening of my life and it’s all because of Green Lucas. I don’t understand it, except I’m right and I’ve fallen into a rabbit hole.

“Do you like the movie?” he asks, and I don’t really. It’s one of those action flicks about fast cars and crap. I don’t really watch them. I know enough to know that there must be about ten of them. Still, it’s kind of mind numbing and there are cute guys on it, so I nod my answer. Green seems satisfied with that and turns his head back to the television.

“It’s secondhand,” I tell him, for something to say. He looks at me again, this time confused.

“Huh?” he asks.

I study him for a second, wondering if he even realizes that he’s massaging my calf through the fabric of the throw. I should tell him and get him to stop. I probably should ask him to leave, but it’s been a really great evening and what he’s doing feels nice, so I don’t.

“My shirt, I bought it at a thrift shop in San Antonio because it was soft and big. I wanted something comfortable to sleep in. So, I don’t really know who it belongs too.”

He frowns. I get the distinct feeling he doesn’t like my answer, but he doesn’t say anything condescending that would make me what to kick him in the balls, so I figure that’s a good thing.

“I really was an asshole, Kage. I should have made sure you were awake instead of bailing the next morning and leaving that up to Keith. It wasn’t cool.”

“It wasn’t. And though I did use it to buy Russ’s medicine, it wasn’t cool you left money either,” I tell him, figuring I sound hypocritical, but saying it anyway.

“Point made,” he says, letting the part where I spent his money slide.

“Are we going to be friends now?” I ask him, still thoroughly confused.

“If I say yes, are you going to continue to call me Mr. Lucas?”

I purse my lips together, and sit up, still keeping the throw wrapped around me. I’m tired of laying down, even if my stomach hurts.

“That’s your name,” I answer with a smirk.

“You know what I mean,” he says, and he turns his body and somehow that brings him in closer. That’s probably a mistake, because now I can see his eyes clearly and those laugh lines that I noticed the first time I met him.

“Fine. I’ll use your name,” I tell him, biting my lip.

“You will?” he asks, his lips spreading into a smile. Green has a really nice smile. It makes those aforementioned laugh lines crinkle. It does something strange to me that I can’t really explain. He’s pretty. It’s a lame word, but he is. He’s kind of breathtakingly pretty. The kind of pretty that painters paint, or sculptors sculpt. All of his brothers are gorgeous and so are his sisters. Ida Sue is too. There should be a law against that many pretty people in one family. Of them all, Green is by far the prettiest.

The sexiest.

The hottest.

There’s a little-known fact that only women across the world know.

You get horny when you’re on your period. It’s also a curse, because I can’t imagine a man wanting to be around a woman when you’re on your period either. I don’t even want around myself when I’m like this. And I really shouldn’t be around Green, because I can’t drag my gaze away from his lips…

“Yeah sure, if you want,” I tell him, like it’s no big deal.

“I do,” he assures me.

“Fine, then thanks for being nice to me today Mr. Green House,” I tell him, smiling huge and trying to keep the laughter out of my voice, especially when his face crunches up.

“Why are you always testing me?” he mutters, shaking his head at me, but smiling.

“I didn’t know I was.”

I really didn’t. I didn’t plan on it. The way I interact with him, it seems to come naturally. That’s how it was the first night we met, I have to admit that it’s fun pushing him, though.

“You were, but you can make it up to me,” he murmurs, his voice going so soft that chills spread across my skin.

“I can?” I whisper.

“Definitely,” he says, so close that I can feel his breath fan softly against my skin.

“How?”

“I hate that I forgot our night together, Kage.”

My body stiffens at the reminder. I try to look away from him, suddenly self-conscious, maybe even ashamed. He doesn’t let me though, his hand coming up to rest on my neck, his thumb moving under my chin to keep my attention on him.

“Most of all,” he murmurs, moving in so close his face blurs, “I really want to remember what it was like to kiss those beautiful lips of yours.”

“We shouldn’t. I shouldn’t.”

I mouth the words, sound barely escaping, but I know he hears me. I should pull away. I should demand he stop. There’s only one problem.

I really want to remember too. So, as his lips brush against mine, I open my mouth immediately and take his kiss.

And it’s better than I remembered…

48

Green

“What are you whistling about?” Mom practically barks as I go into the kitchen.

“I’m in a good mood. Can’t a man be happy?” I ask her, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

“You’re never happy in the mornings, let alone whistling,” she points out and she’s not wrong. Then again, I’ve never had such a great evening the night before. Spending time with Kage was a revelation. I had a great time with her. She’s funny, sarcastic, witty and she might be younger, but somehow, we seem to fit with each other.

And kissing her…

I don’t have words for how good that was. That’s all we shared too. That one kiss, but every time I looked at Kage after that, she was either smiling, or looking off into space and she seemed happy—if not a little worried. I’m okay with that. I hurt her and I’ve been burned enough to know that I need to go slow, be sure before I make a move. What I do know, is that I don’t want Kage dating Parker, or anyone else. You would have thought I’d dealt enough with jealousy considering the shit Cynthia has pulled. But, I realize, especially now, that I didn’t feel jealousy with her. I felt betrayal. Hell, that’s what I felt with both Cynthia and Marissa, and they made sure I felt that shit over and over, until the taste of it was so bitter it began to turn me that way too.

“He looks like a man who is celebrating the fact he didn’t knock up some woman,” Blue says, drolly.

Mom slaps him across the arm, and I give him a piercing look. I can’t tell him, or Mom for that matter, but there’s a very big part of me that’s disappointed Kage isn’t pregnant. I don’t understand it, but it’s true. I could write it off to the fact that once upon a time in my life, I wanted children, a lot of children. I wanted Allen to grow up in the same big, crazy family that I did with brothers and sisters everywhere. It never happened and I let go of the dream, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t grieve the loss of it.

“My Poppy isn’t just some woman,” she grumbles, and for once I think her and I might be in agreement.

“Women are more trouble than they’re worth,” he grouses.

“If you keep dragging your ass, you’re going to miss out on a good woman,” she warns him.

Blue refuses to look up, instead choosing to look down at his cereal bowl and respond to it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play stupid, Blue,” Mom warns, and she gives him a glare the sight of which I haven’t seen since we were growing up.

“He doesn’t have to play, Mom,” Mary quips.

“Watch it, little sis. I know your secrets.”

“Whatever,” she returns, rolling her eyes.

“Why did I have kids again?” Mom questions, still glaring at Blue.

“So we could choose your nursing home,” Blue says, dryly.

“Better watch it, Blue. I haven’t seen Mom give you that look since you and Black were ten and talked Krissy Gentry and the Frank girls into coming to the house to play farm.”

“Farm? Is that a board game?” Mary asks and I grin as Blue shifts uncomfortably on the bench seat of the table. “How do you play farm? I’ve never heard that,” Mary says, cutting a grapefruit in half.

“You don’t know about it because you’re not a horny teenage boy. We played it often. Black and Blue decided to play it when they thought Mom was gone and wanted to see Krissy, Susan and Betsy’s tits,” I supply helpfully.

“What?” Mary asks, laughing. Blue reclines back in his seat, staring at me and the stare is one that promises retribution, which makes me grin bigger.

“Let’s just say their tits might be the reason ole’ Blue enjoys being a farmer and milking the cows so much,” I joke, and Blue flips me off.

“Asshole.”

“It’s also the reason they were the most popular girls in all of Mason High back in the day,” Mom mutters.

“Well, that part is true. I swear, Krissy mooed like a damn cow every time you squeezed her tit,” Blue responds from behind his coffee cup.

“You say that like you didn’t love every minute of it.” I’m laughing as I recall the fascination my brother had with how loud he could make Krissy moo.

“Well it was fun,” he says with a shrug.

Mom slaps her hand down on the table. “I failed with you somehow. Instead of fooling around with Krissy Gentry, you should have been paying attention to my Meadow.”

“Not going there, Mom,” Blue warns, his voice biting.

“Because you’re an idiot,” she mumbles.

Blue ignores her and clears his throat.

“In a bit of irony, Krissy owns Gentry Double-D’s ranch, near Corpus Christi and is one of the biggest suppliers of beef in the country.”

“Oh God, Double D’s?”

“You have to admit, Krissy owns her… assets,” Blue says with a wink to Mary.

“Whatever happened to the Frank girls?” she asks, keeping my brother talking, probably to distract him from the sudden tension in the room. Meadow is a sore topic with him. That much is clear.

“Susan owns her own excavating company in Pennsylvania. They did a special on her in one of those network success stories that Mags is always watching. She has men and women working for her, but she drives dozers, graders, rock trucks, all of it, like a pro. Hell, I watched her, she drives that shit better than any man I’ve ever seen. She even started this huge event where she races others in her rock truck and goes through obstacle courses. The proceeds go to help underprivileged kids in her state.”

“Damn, she sounds like a hell of a woman,” Mary says, sounding a little awestruck. “What about her sister?”

“Betsy is famous,” Blue murmurs, surprising all of us.

“She is? Like a movie star or something?”

Blue switches his attention back to Mom, shaking his head no at her question.

“Nope, she’s a wrestler.”

“A wrestler? Like…Rowdy Rodney Piper?”

“Mom, it’s Roddy Piper and I don’t think anyone even remembers him anymore.”

“Well, I do, Blue. He had pretty eyes. Plus, there’s always something about a man with a kilt. It makes you wonder what he’s packing underneath it,” Mom counters.

“I can tell you for sure that I’ve never wondered about what a man wore under his kilt,” Mary disagrees. “Besides, I think they look like a skirt and a man’s knees have to be the most unsexy thing about him. Who wants to stare at that shit all the time?”

“Have you watched that TV show about the woman who goes back in time and falls in love with the Scottish guy? Have you seen him in a kilt?”

“Nope, and I’ve never had an inclination too, either.”

“Are you even my daughter?” Mom cries, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Lovey, if you ever try to make me wear a kilt, there will be hell to pay,” Jansen announces as he comes into the room. Mom looks over her shoulder and grins at him.

“Think of how much easier things would be if you wore a kilt and went commando underneath. I think I could make you like it.” She wiggles her eyebrows and she’s grinning huge. I hold my head down and pinch my nose—not sure I’ll ever get used to my mother even after all these years. I hear Blue and Mary groan in the background and I’m sure they’re feeling much like I am.

“Please Mom, I’m eating here.” Mary holds out her grapefruit, making a face and Mom smirks and sticks her tongue out. She makes it hard to believe she’s the mother and Mary is the baby.

“I’ll let you be the one to wear skirts, Lovey. Although you bring up a good point about going commando under them. I’ll take you out to Dallas for dinner tomorrow and we’ll try that,” Jansen says with a wink.

“Gross,” Mary responds, curling up her nose.

“I’ll call Luka so he can be ready to get the two of you out of jail,” Blue mutters.

“Anyway,” I practically yell, to get control of them, and to stop from hearing about anymore of Mom and Jansen’s sex-capades. When they all look up at me, I go back to the original subject. “Betsy Frank is a wrestler?”

Blue grins. “Oh yeah, Betsy “Bone Saw” Frank, although the crowd calls her, Fuck’em Up Franks. Networks seem to frown on that name for some reason. But they go crazy screaming it when Betsy comes riding into the arena on a motorcycle decked in a studded leather jacket and bikini, looking hot as fuck.”

“Blue,” Mom reprimands. “Don’t say fuck.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Mom. Blue saying fuck is a lot worse than you and Jansen talking about going commando,” Mary sasses.

“I really want a peaceful breakfast and you have to sit there and beg for me to rap you in the mouth.”

“Rap me in the mouth? Mom, what does that even mean?” Mary questions.

Mom closes her eyes, mumbling under her breath and then stands up. “It means I need to slap your mouth shut and hope it knocks some sense into you,” she huffs.

“Whenever a girl said that to me, that’s not what they meant, Mom.”

“Green, I’m on a thin edge here. Don’t push me over,” she warns. “Kids. They never tell you what happens after you get them raised. Like how many times you’ll be tempted to go to jail for strangling them, for instance.” She walks toward Jansen, taking his coffee cup out of his hands. “Let’s go out to the old playhouse, I suddenly have a lot of tension I need to work out.” Jansen cocks up an eyebrow, but he smiles huge. I’m going to get the hell away from the house and try not to think about the fact my mother gets more sex than I do—or my mother having sex at all for that matter.

“Later, Mom,” Blue says, apparently unfazed over Mom’s sex life. Then again, there are times I wonder if Blue is a virgin. He never talks about women and I’ve never seen him really try to date a woman. Hell, Meadow seems to be the only woman that has ever had his complete interest and there are times I wonder if he wants to fuck her or kill her.

“Later, Blue. Mary, be careful going to work. And, Green?”

“Yeah, Mom?”

“I’m giving you a couple of days to get your head out of your ass when it comes to Poppy, but you should know, I’m going to be setting her up on another date soon.”

“Why? It’s not like everyone has to be happily matched off tomorrow, Mom—even if you do like matchmaking.”

“I do, but it’s not about that with Poppy. She wants to petition the court to get custody of Russ. No court is going to allow that, no matter how much I grease the wheels, unless she’s older, financially secure, and then it’s a tossup for the way they’ve been skirting the system and Poppy’s misdemeanor offenses in her past.”

“Fuck,” I hiss.

“Judge Case will help, and if I can at least get her married with a secure home life, so her husband can petition for custody of Russ, then I think the request can go through. I’ve talked to everyone I know and had Judge Adams do everything he can, but he was very frank with me that he felt Poppy being secure and married is our only option. It seems money can only get you so far. It’s a shame that all these children are needing homes and it takes a miracle to get one adopted these days.”

“That’s a damn shame,” Blue replies.

I don’t say anything. I’m not sure I can right now.

49

Kage

“Give me a minute,” I call, from my bedroom, when I hear the knock at my door. I ruffle my hair, my nails scratching my scalp, as I try to wake up. After Green left last night, I was so confused that it had to be close to five before I fell asleep. It’s now nine, which means I’ve slept very little and I have work today. I go in at two, but thankfully, Addie has me working in the kitchen, baking and decorating cakes and pies. I enjoy that much more, although I miss the tips. Still, Addie pays me better than I knew a waitress could get, so I’m good. Actually, life in general is pretty good right now, but I need to figure out exactly what I’m going to do about Green.

He’s so baffling and what I feel toward him is complicated.

I would have never slept with him that first night if I’d known he was that drunk. He didn’t seem it. In my experience, drunks usually slur words, stagger, barely stand let alone be in any kind of shape for sex. I thought he was as into me as I was him. Sure, it was instant and intense, but it felt right. Then, he kicked me out and made me feel like a whore, like some groupie who wanted to have sex with him because of who he was—when nothing could have been further from the truth.

Last night he was definitely sober, and I was definitely weak. But Green was being sweet, and I felt like shit and it was nice. The kiss was way better than nice. It was great. So great that I hated to see Green leave, but I let him, because I can’t handle getting hurt by him again. I can’t let myself get sucked in. There’s too much depending on me. Russ is depending on me and this could be my last chance to start over. I can’t mess it up. I need to make a good life here for me and for Russ.

That’s all I can concentrate on right now.

I sort through all of that, making up my mind, then…

I open the door.

“Green,” I exhale.

“Hey, beautiful.” I do my best not to blush and ignore the fact that my knees turn to mush.

“I…What are you doing here?” I murmur.

“I was dropping Russ off,” he says, and I instantly feel foolish.

“Oh.” I laugh to cover up my embarrassment. “Where is he?”

“He and Allen are down in the restaurant eating breakfast.”

“I better take them some money,” I mumble. I know Addie tries to let them—and me, for that matter—eat free, but that makes me uncomfortable. I always insist on paying. I turn away to find my purse, but Green grabs my hand.

“I already took care of it. Besides, you can’t exactly go downstairs like that.”

My pulse jumps underneath his hold and I lick my lips as I swallow, my throat suddenly tight.

“I can’t?”

“Baby, you’re naked.”

I frown, my head definitely feeling as if it’s in a fog. Yet, I know I wouldn’t be nude. I wouldn’t answer the door without clothes on.

“I’m not,” I say, reaching down to slap my hand down against my shirt.

“You’re in your night shirt and you’re not wearing a bra,” he says, his voice hoarse. The sound of it sends prickles of awareness over my body. I look down at my bare legs. I’m not wearing my sleep shorts, but I do have on panties and my shirt falls down to my thighs, close to my knees. Then, what he said hits me, and I gasp, looking up at him.

“How do you know I’m not wearing a bra?”

He laughs and then bends down and kisses my forehead.

The kiss feels nice, but it confuses me all the same.

“You work today, right?” he asks, and I have to shake my head to make myself focus.

“Yeah. Not until later, though.” I’m breathless, there’s no other way to say it. I need to get a grip on myself. A few minutes ago I had new resolve and I wasn’t going to allow Green to derail me. Now? I’m mush.

“How would you feel if I brought a pizza over and you and me and the boys hung out a bit?”

“I…It’s kind of late when I get off,” I warn him.

“What time?”

“Nine.”

“Perfect. I love pizza at nine.”

“Do you have pizza often at that time of night?” I ask, my lips moving to a smile before I can stop myself.

“I never have, but if it means I get to eat it with you, then it’s going to be my favorite.” He’s smiling down at me and I more than half believe that he’s giving me a line, but still it’s really nice to hear.

“Okay, then,” I respond, giving a weak laugh with my answer.

“Okay,” he murmurs, his smile stretching on his face, accentuating his laugh lines. “I brought you something,” he adds. It’s then that I notice he’s carrying something. I reach out to take the gathered material in his hand. It’s a baseball jersey, the number two emblazoned on the back along with the name Lucas.

“Your jersey?” I question.

“One of them. I’ve decided I don’t want you sleeping in another man’s shirt, Kage.”

“Uh… You’ve decided?” I cock my eyebrow, shock slowly running through me. I should be mad, but that’s not the emotion I’m feeling. I don’t quite know how to explain what I feel.

“Yeah.”

“But this shirt is mine,” I remind him, staring into his gaze and unable to look away.

“It still belonged to some unknown man before that. You can wear mine. It’s softer anyway,” he reasons.

He’s right, it is super soft. My thumb is brushing against the fabric even now.

“You don’t really make a lot of sense.”

“Trust me, I know, but are you going to wear my shirt to sleep in tonight?”

I watch his lips move; I hear his words. My breath hitches in my chest. I haven’t felt like this since the night I first met Green. I don’t know what that means. I’m afraid of what it could mean.

“Maybe,” I tell him, with a shrug. His lips thin out as his smile turns into a frown. “Are you going to throw the one you’re wearing away?” he asks.

“Probably not,” I tell him truthfully.

“Why?”

“It’s a nice shirt.” I shrug.

“I brought you another nice shirt, Kage.”

“And now I have two.”

“Why are you always testing me?” he complains. For some reason it makes me smile.

“I didn’t know I was.”

“Oh, you are. I better get back downstairs and collect my boy. Can I kiss you before I go?”

Tell him no. Tell him no.

“I don’t know. Can you?”

Oh my God. I’m flirting with Green. I’m insane. I’m horribly insane.

Green doesn’t reply. Instead, his hand slides around to the back of my head. I gasp as his fingers clench tenderly against my head, scrunching into my hair. He moves my head exactly where he wants me—the way he wants me. This is new. The night we were together, Green kissed me, it was good, it was hot, and you could tell he was an expert. He wasn’t like this though. This feels possessive. This leaves no question to the fact that he’s in charge and he’s going to take what he wants. Maybe it should turn me off, make me pull away. Instead, I like it.

As in really like it. My heart feels as if it stutters in my chest, my pulse going haywire.

“Open that mouth for me, honey,” he growls, his voice low and hungry.

I don’t reply, I can’t. I take a breath and Green instantly takes over my mouth. He hungrily kisses me, his tongue searching for and conquering mine. He kisses me in such a way that it feels aggressive, wicked, carnal and beautiful all at the same time. I give all that he asks, encouraging, even begging without words, that he give me more. And somehow, he does.

When he finally tears his mouth away his breathing echoes in my ears, blending with the pounding of my pulse. I lick my swollen lips, still tasting him there. A tremor of need shudders through my body as Green groans, the sound full of need. I’m practically panting with need, my nipples hard. I know he can tell how turned on I am, but then I can feel the impressive bulge in his pants pressing against me. I don’t pull away, feeling that he’s as affected by our kiss gives me a strange sense of power. Everything about our kiss is different from our first night together, and yet it’s just as good.

Maybe better.

“I…uh…”

My voice doesn’t even sound like my own. It sounds hungry, needy for something that only Green can give me. That should bring on fear and regret, but instead, my head is already leaning in wanting his kiss again.

“You could be damn addicting, Kage Bentley.” Green’s voice is so harsh, his words come out sounding like a curse. I don’t know why that should excite me, but it does.

I wonder if I should apologize, but before I can, he kisses me again.

This kiss is harder, more intense, maybe even better as his tongue dives deep to own my mouth. Unfortunately, it’s also over much quicker.

“Tonight,” he promises. “Pizza and kids to chaperone.”

That last part startles me and makes me laugh.

“Do you need a chaperone with me, Green?”

He studies me, smiling, his eyes twinkling when I use his name without him having to ask. I don’t know how I know that’s why he’s smiling—but, I do.

“We started at one hundred miles an hour, Kage. With that kiss, I want to go straight back to that speed and coast downhill. I need the chaperone to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“So, you’re using your son as a buffer?”

“Hell, yes,” he claims, making me laugh.

“Does this mean you don’t hate me?”

“I definitely don’t hate you, Kage.” His voice goes a little tender and for some reason it makes the declaration sound sweeter. “Do you hate me?”

“I should,” I answer, my heart still running away with me. I wonder if he can hear it beating, because I sure can.

“You definitely should, baby. But, do you?”

“No,” I admit softly.

“Good,” he says, leaning in to press our lips together quickly and then pulling away. “Tonight.” He starts backing away from me, not turning around, looking at me the entire time.

“Tonight,” I respond. That must have been what he was waiting for because he gives me a wink and then turns around, punching the button for the elevator. When the door opens, he steps inside and immediately turns to look at me. “Bye, Kage.”

“Bye, Mr. Lucas,” I tell him, leaning against the door frame. His face scrunches up in distaste and I don’t laugh this time—I cackle.

“Always testing me,” he calls out, just as the door closes.

I stand there, grinning and wondering what just happened.

50

Green

“Oh yeah baby!” Kage crows, arms up in victory. “Where’s that pretty little car visiting?”

“Ugh,” Allen whines.

“Welcome to Kage’s Boardwalk hotel, Allen. Where you can check in, but you can never leave.”

I hold my head down, to hide my laughter, but tilt my head to the side to watch as she stands up to do some kind of whacky victory dance that is horrible and yet sexy at the same time.

“That will be two thousand mack-a-rooneys Allen my boy!”

I watch Kage giggling as she holds out her hand to Allen. Allen looks down and most of his property is mortgaged, with his sad pile of white and pink fake money scattered around.

“I can’t believe I’m losing to a girl,” he groans.

“Allen, honey, you lost to a girl,” Kage corrects.

Allen rolls his eyes but he’s smiling when he looks over at me.

“She’s whipped us,” he says.

“Yep,” I agree. “But hey, you outlasted me and Russ,” I point out.

“I warned you losers I was the queen of this game. You didn’t listen.”

“And you’re so modest,” Russ mocks, and we all laugh—even Kage.

I always thought she was beautiful, even when I wanted to strangle her. But, watching her laugh and play with Russ and Allen, I realize I was wrong.

She’s fucking phenomenal.

She’s real too. There’s nothing fake about the way she interacts with the boys. She’s genuine. I catch her squeezing Russ’s hand occasionally, and she kept an eye on the boys while we ate pizza and she got up and brought Allen and Russ a fresh drink and a napkin. It’s hokey, but she’s the type of woman I always saw myself with and yet somehow never could tear myself away from my past to find.

“How about a rematch?” Allen suggests. I can honestly say that’s a first. He’s never passed up playing video games for a board game.

“How about you go play with Russ while Kage and I clean up? We have to go soon, and I don’t want to leave all the clean up on Kage.”

“Bummer,” Allen says, and I can tell he legitimately wishes we could play again. I have to admit that this has been one of the best evenings I can remember in a long time—maybe even ever. It even sounds stupid, but I think it was made even more special by the fact I had Allen with me, and he was not only accepted, but welcomed. It could be because Kage is responsible for Russ, but I think it’s who she is naturally.

Allen follows Russ into his room, leaving Kage and me alone.

She immediately starts putting the game up and avoiding my gaze. I reach over and grab her hand as she’s collecting her fake money to put back in the box.

“Is something wrong?” I ask, not letting go of her hand.

“No,” she responds softly, avoiding my gaze.

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

“I’m not really used to this,” she finally replies, blushing when she looks up at me.

“Used to what?”

“Having a guy in my apartment, a guy I could have sworn disliked me until recently.” She shrugs, and I tug on her hand until she’s forced to move closer to me.

“I thought it was a great evening.” I’m being completely honest with Kage, I think she needs that from me, and I want to give it to her.

“It was,” she agrees, finally pulling her gaze to mine, semi-smiling. “I had a great time, Green.”

“Me too, I’m glad I brought Allen, although if I’m going to be completely honest with you, I’m wishing we were alone, without prying ears and eyes right now.”

“I feel the same, although I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t.”

“I’m just as sure that you should,” I counter.

“You sound so positive,” she mumbles.

“That’s because I am. In fact, I only have one question.”

“What’s that?”

“What’s the guidelines for making out with two kids in the next room?”

“I don’t think we’re supposed to make out.”

“Then we have a problem, Kage.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s been a million years since I’ve had your lips on mine and I’m not going to be able to survive any longer.”

“What if they see us?” she asks, her cheeks tinting pink.

“I don’t even care. I have a feeling, kissing you is something I will be doing a lot of. It’s best they get used to seeing it.”

“You get I’m still not sure this is a good idea, or what we are even doing, right?”

“I’m not either, but I’m still going to do it.”

“I’m still the same girl who you wanted to have arrested.”

“There was something that brought us together, Kage. I may not remem—”

“Alcohol brought us together, Green. It might be good to remember that. If you had been sober, I doubt you would have looked twice at me.”

I think about what she’s saying, and it irritates me. Does she really believe that? Has she not looked in the mirror? At the same time, I have been an ass, so I get why she’d feel that way.

“I’m not drinking now, Kage.”

“Does it make me weak to admit I’m scared this would be a huge mistake?”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because if this blows up in my face, which it very well could, you’re the brother-in-law to my boss and the son to the person I owe everything to.”

“I’m also the man you liked enough to give your virginity to. Surely that counts for something.”

“I was nineteen, it had to happen sometime.” She shrugs and I’m not going to accept it.

“Is that what it was, Kage? It wouldn’t have mattered who I was? It was past time for you to experiment with sex?” My voice is gruff, traces of anger in it, but I can’t keep it to myself. “Are you saying if I wasn’t there, you would have gone home and fucked someone else?”

“Green, stop it. The boys might hear,” she snaps.

“No. You don’t get to say that shit and get away with it,” I all but demand.

“What does it matter?” she huffs, yanking her hand free from my hold and rising to walk into the kitchen. I watch her as she starts closing the pizza box and taking the two remaining pieces, storing them in a freezer bag. “You claim you were drunk and don’t remember it. Why do you care why I chose to sleep with you?”

“Kage—”

“Especially since you can’t even remember anything about it?”

I walk over to her. I think it’s time that both of us come to an understanding. I capture her hand again and turn her back to face me, my hold firm and probably a little painful, but I’m upset, and I want her to understand where I stand in all of this.

“First of all, I was drunk. I took pain medication for my shoulder. I didn’t expect to see Cynthia coming on to one of my friends. I don’t know why I didn’t. Everyone and their grandmothers knew it was coming, but as usual when it comes to women, I’m stupid.”

“Green—”

“So, I went to the bar and drank when I really shouldn’t have. I was drunk and I regret more than I could ever tell you that most of that night is blank, but you need to know that I do have memories and what I remember haunts me. I want more of it. I want more of you.”

“Green—”

“No,” I deny, shaking my head no. “You’re going to hear me out. I’m not the man you think I am. I wasn’t looking to get laid. That night, I had reaffirmed why living like a monk was the best decision I’d have ever made. I saw you and Kage, what happened between us, wouldn’t have happened with anyone else. Even drunk, I recognized that you were gorgeous. I can remember up until the time I started drinking heavily and I can tell you that I felt pulled toward you.”

“Green—”

“I’m asking you right now not to lie to me. If you tell me that what happened would have happened with anyone that night, I’ll get my boy and I won’t bother you anymore.”

I stare at her and wait. It feels like I have adrenaline filling me and seeping from my pores. This is a pivotal moment. I don’t truly understand the attraction I have with Kage, but I’m not going to deny it and I don’t want to give it up, even if somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m scared I’m making another mistake. My track record with decisions concerning women… sucks.

We stand there staring at each other and finally, I can’t take it anymore.

“Well?”

“Am I allowed to talk now?” she questions, quietly.

“I wish you would.”

“I didn’t go to the bar looking for someone to sleep with. I needed a break, so I ended up there. I couldn’t drink, but I needed to hide in the crowd. I did that, and when I saw you staring at me, I knew I wanted to spend more time with you. I knew I wanted you. That had never happened to me before.”

“Does that mean you’re going to quit fighting it and give me a kiss?”

“I can do that,” she agrees.

“Then, do it,” I dare her.

She leans into me, but not enough. I pull her to me, so she falls against me.

“If I kiss you are you going to calm down?” Kage murmurs. She sounds serious, but I can see the spark in her eyes.

“Maybe.”

“Good—”

“If you agree to go out with me Friday night.”

“I work Friday night,” she replies, and I growl under my breath.

“The next night you have off, then.”

“That’s Sunday.”

“Fine, Sunday.”

“Don’t you have to go back home?”

“Sunday, Kage.” My voice doesn’t invite argument. I’m not giving in on this. I’ll handle work and figure some things out, but I will not wait to see her past Sunday.

“Green?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and kiss me,” she orders. I immediately take her mouth, swallowing down anything else she might have to say.

Sunday can’t come quick enough.

51

Green

“Hey,” I murmur into the phone, pushing a hand behind my head as I cradle the phone against my ear.

“Hi.”

Kage’s voice is soft and sleepy and I reach down and grab my cock, tugging on it, stretching it when it pulsates in reaction. This woman is killing me. I have never been this attracted to a woman, especially on all aspects. Every single thing I learn about Kage, I like, and it makes me want her more.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, I actually just got in bed. I had to take a shower.”

“Fuck.”

“Green, everything okay?” she asks, her voice still sleepy, but sounding confused, too.

“I’m good, baby. Just thinking about you in the shower,” I admit, squeezing my cock tighter as I try to resist coming on the damn phone like a kid.

“I’m not sure I’m going to get used to this.”

“To what?”

“You calling me baby. It feels weird.”

“You don’t like it?” I question, truly not expecting that reaction.

“It’s not that, it’s…”

“What, Kage?”

“Things between us have changed really quickly, Green. I’m not sure I trust it.”

“What you mean is that you aren’t sure you can trust me,” I correct her, the truth sitting bitter inside of me. It’s to be expected, but that doesn’t make it any better. Kage doesn’t respond, but her silence is definitely answer enough. “What did I call you the night we first met?” I ask, hating that I only have glimpses, brief memories of that night. I want to remember it all.

“Kage,” she replies at once.

“I never called you baby that night, ever?” The endearment comes so natural with her, that it’s hard for me to grasp that.

“Well, not at the bar. During well, later, you know,” she sputters. I can tell it makes her uncomfortable. The thought makes me grin. She really is innocent, completely different from Cynthia. She’s like the air after a spring rain.

Clean, refreshing and invigorating.

“I wish you knew how much I crave to remember the night we shared, Kage.”

“I wish you knew how much I wish I knew you were that drunk.”

“Good thing I’m sober and can understand what you are saying,” I joke dryly. “Do you wish that you would have walked away?”

“Run, Green. I would have run far away from you.” She exhales, the sound an almost mournful sigh.

“I want to propose something, Kage.”

“What’s that?”

“Let’s forget that night,” I tell her, regretting my choice of words the minute I hear her laugh which is drenched in sarcasm.

“That will be easy for you.”

“I’m being serious. Let’s pretend we’re two people attracted to one another who are simply getting to know one another.”

“If you have to pretend to be attracted to me—”

“Do you always have to try and bust my balls, Kage?” I grumble. I smile though because I like it. Nothing is going to be easy with Kage. She will always be a challenge and keep me on my toes. I have to admit, I really like that.

“It’s kind of fun,” she defends, her voice full of humor.

“Keep it up, baby, and I’ll have to spank you.” The image of Kage bent over, offering her ass to me, floats in my mind and I stroke my cock, unable to stop myself. The idea is so fucking hot, it’s torture. “You’ve gone quiet, did I shock you again?” I ask, needing to know where her head is at.

“No,” she replies, sounding breathless.

“You like the idea of me spanking you, baby?”

“I…”

“Don’t lie to me, Kage. Be honest. Does it sound like something you’d like?”

“Maybe,” she says, and I can hear the need in her voice, even if she doesn’t understand it.

“Jesus, is it Sunday already?” I groan.

“We can’t, I mean this will be our first real date. We can’t do that on our first date.”

I think over what’s she saying, and I understand why she feels that way, but if the opportunity arises, I’m taking it and letting the chips fall where they may. I need her.

“We’ll talk about it later,” I compromise.

“Green.”

“I’ve never really liked my name. My mother is a wonderful woman, but naming kids isn’t something she should have ever been in charge of.”

“I like your names. I think they’re beautiful, Ida Sue gave you all a heritage and I think it’s kind of beautiful.”

“I think you are,” I respond, clearing my throat because her words have an effect on me that I wasn’t expecting. “My point was, however, that when you say my name, I really do like it.”

“I’m glad.” If it’s possible to hear someone’s smile, I’m pretty sure that I hear Kage’s right then.

“I better let you get some sleep since you have to get up early.”

“Okay and Green?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I had a really good time tonight. Thank you.”

“Believe it or not, Kage, I had one of the best nights of my life tonight.”

“I’ll talk to you Sunday, then.”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I reply, knowing I can’t wait until Sunday to hear her voice.

“Sounds good. Night, Green.”

“Goodnight, Kage. Oh, one last question,” I hurry before she hangs up.

“Yeah?”

“Are you wearing my shirt right now?” I need to know. The thought that she might be wearing another man’s—even if he is unknown, is driving me crazy.

“I guess you’ll never know.”

“Tell me,” I order.

“Maybe someday,” she says both frustrating and turning me on.

“You’re definitely working up to a spanking Kage,” I grumble.

“I’m okay with that,” she says so quietly I have to strain to hear her.

But I do.

“Night, baby,” I tell her, knowing that I need to let her go to sleep. I also need to get off the phone so I can jack off before I explode.

I hang up, instantly missing her voice in my ear.

I’m in trouble with this girl.

Big trouble.

52

Kage

“What am I doing here?”

“Making yourself beautiful for my irritating but mostly sweet big brother?” Petal responds helpfully.

“I’m not sure how this happened,” I mumble, twisting my hands nervously as I look in the mirror. “It wasn’t that long ago that I thought your brother might have me arrested and now I’m…”

“Yes, Poppy? Finish that sentence for me,” Ida Sue drawls.

I don’t say anything, but I sure am blushing, when both Ida Sue and Petal bust out laughing.

“I hate you guys,” I don’t really mean it, but I say it anyways.

“Liar,” they say in unison.

“I’m saying that considering our past, I’m having a hard time believing that I’m going on a date with Green.” I sigh as I flop down in my chair.

“Why is that so hard to believe? There was obviously something between you two the night you met, or you wouldn’t have ended up bumping uglies,” Ida Sue colorfully explains.

“I hate that term, bumping uglies, Mom,” Petal complains. “Besides there’s nothing ugly about Luka’s—”

“No-No-No!” Ida Sue exclaims. “I’ve grown to love that boy like my own, but the last thing I want to hear about is his willy when he’s getting it wet with my daughter.”

“Your loss.” Petal smirks, then shrugs, looking very satisfied. She probably has a right. Luka is hot—not as hot as Green, but there’s not many men on the face of the earth that could measure up to him.

“I swear you’ve gotten as cocky as Orange, himself,” Ida Sue chastises.

“Orange?” I ask, wondering if that’s another brother I haven’t met. If people could say nothing else about Ida Sue, that woman definitely had fertility down to a science.

“That’s what she calls Luka,” Petal explains.

“I like my family to have strong names. What can I say?” Ida Sue is looking straight at me when she talks. Her message is clear.

She considers me family.

Tears sting my eyes and I instantly try to catch the tears before they fall and ruin all of Petal’s hard work.

“No fair making me cry before I go on a date,” I blubber, failing to keep the tears at bay.

“You can’t cry! You’ll mess up your makeup and I worked way too hard on it!” Petal exclaims.

“My Poppy doesn’t need makeup. Any fool can see that,” Ida Sue chides and even though I had almost dried all of my tears, I find myself crying again.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I mutter, making a mess of myself.

Ida Sue sits down beside me and takes me into her arms, holding me tight.

“Shh…Poppy, you’ve been through a lot. Maybe it’s finally dawning on you that you’re safe here,” she croons.

“Maybe,” I respond, my voice muffled against her, knowing that it’s not true.

“I think it’s finally because she knows she’s loved,” Petal says, as if she reads my mind.

I slowly pull away to look at her, kneeling down in front of me. Then, slowly, my gaze travels to Ida Sue. Her and Petal look very similar, and right now they could pass for sisters, instead of mother and daughter. Part of that is clearly Ida Sue has good genes, and part of it is because they are wearing identical expressions.

“You are, you know,” Ida Sue says, and I give up trying to stop my tears, that’s clearly not going to happen.

“I know,” I manage in between sobs and a stray hiccup. I really am being ridiculous, but for some reason I can’t stop myself.

“Shh… Poppy,” Ida Sue says again, pulling me back into her arms. “Let it out. You’re safe here. You’re finally home.”

Her words should be ridiculous, but they don’t feel that way.

For the first time in my life, I actually do feel like I’m at home…

“Okay, we got to dry up the waterworks here.” I look at Petal through watery eyes, to notice she’s crying too. “We need to repair the damage so that when my brother gets here you can knock his socks off.”

“I don’t think it’s his socks he will want to take off when he sees Poppy,” Ida Sue jokes, giving me a wink.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about your sons wetting their willies,” Petal reminds her as Ida Sue gets up and goes to the kitchen. The two of us share a look and I know she’s trying to irritate her mother.

Ida Sue walks back over with a paper towel from the kitchen and hands it to me to dry my face. She shakes her head and clicks her tongue at Petal as if to chastise her. “I didn’t say I was stupid enough to think you didn’t have sex. I mean, I have grandbabies, despite what I told you when you were young. I know they weren’t left in the cabbage patch by the Easter bunny. I don’t want to hear about what equipment they have or how they use it.”

“You know that story about the Easter bunny scared the shit out of me when I was a kid, right? I was terrified I’d end up with a baby and only be in the third grade,” Petal mutters, yanking another piece of towel out of Ida Sue’s hand and drying her own eyes. “Anytime I felt I was gaining weight, I’d panic—especially at Easter.”

“You always were overly dramatic,” Ida Sue replies, rolling her eyes. “Is that why you and Magnolia used to run by the garden like the hounds of hell were on your heels?”

“Yes! We were terrified the Easter Bunny would jump out and knock us up!” Petal exclaims.

I laugh. I can’t help myself and pretty soon all three of us are laughing so hard that we can’t catch our breath.

“I needed that,” I say when we manage to finally get a little bit of control.

“Me too,” the other two agree.

“What were they laughing about?” I look up to see Green, Allen and Russ at the door. We were laughing so hard that I didn’t even hear them come in.

“Something about the Easter Bunny,” Green says, a funny look on his face.

“Girls are weird,” Russ exclaims. “Hey Ida Sue? You want to play Monopoly with us?”

“Love too, honey. You and Allen set the game up and we’ll start after the others leave.”

“Dude! You don’t want to play Monopoly with my grandmother. She’ll beat our asses. She’s like the queen of board games.”

“Thank you, Allen and don’t say asses.”

“But Gram-maw, that word is in the Bible,” Allen whines.

“Why is it every dang one of you use that excuse?” Ida Sue complains, making us all laugh.

“Ida Sue can’t be worse than Kage at Monopoly,” Russ offers. “We should have them play together.”

“That would be epic!” Allen agrees. “My money would be on Gramma.”

“You don’t have any money,” Green says, walking toward me. “And that’s not happening, at least not tonight, because Kage and I have a movie to get to.”

“You’re taking her to the movies, Dad?”

“Is there a problem?” Green asks, looking at his son.

“It’s kind of lame. It’s like an old people’s date.”

I laugh at the look on Green’s face. “Well, Kage and I are older,” he grumbles.

“You are, but Kage isn’t. She’s hot. You need to step up before you scare her off. You should take her to laser tag!”

“Oh yeah, that would be way cool,” Russ agrees.

“Are you ready to get out of here?” Green says, tuning out the boys.

“I…probably need to repair my makeup,” I explain. “Give me a minute.”

“You don’t need makeup, Kage. Didn’t you hear my son? You’re hot,” he says, and I laugh, but mange to blush at the same time.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell him.

Green unexpectedly reaches out and slides his hand under my hair and lets his thumb brush against the side of my face. “I’ll be waiting,” he says softly. We stare at each other for a minute, my emotions in chaos. When Ida Sue clears her throat, Green drops his hand.

I turn, noticing his mother is smiling this huge smile and casting a knowing look in Green’s direction. It makes me feel funny and more than a little self-conscious.

“Damn, my big brother has moves,” Petal brags, as I look down at the floor.

“I… I’ll be back,” I mumble again, practically sprinting to the restroom, feeling way too overwhelmed.

53

Green

“Is this good?”

Kage nods her head yes, sitting down in the theater seat, all while I curse the room for being kind of dark. She’s wearing a green silk dress, her hair down and hot as hell. The skirt of the dress has this slit up the side and when she walks, I can see not only her sweet legs, but glimpses of her thighs. It’s been driving me crazy. I figure my damn sister probably picked out this dress to torture me. Kage had mentioned Petal took her shopping. I’ll have to remember to thank her…and choke her.

“Popcorn?” I prompt, putting the large tub of popcorn dripping in melted butter and seasoning on my leg next to her.

“Thanks.”

I frown, the conversation between us a little stilted since we left her apartment. I don’t like it. I need to try and get her out of her head, because I know she retreated when Petal embarrassed her.

“You sure you’re okay with the movie?”

“Yeah, I normally love Will Smith movies and I’ve seen the other two. I actually used to work at a theater and the owner was really cool. She let me and Russ watch movies after hours when it was only the two of us there.”

“That sounds good.”

“It was. Of course, I had to clean during it and stay extra late, but it was fun and Russ had a blast, that’s all that mattered.”

“Did you get paid for working over?”

“Nah, it was more of an exchange. It got Russ out and made him smile though, so I was grateful.”

“You center everything you do around Russ.” It’s not a question, rather a statement, because I’ve learned enough about Kage to know that it’s a fact. She put her entire life on the line time and time again to take care of him. I’ve looked into her police records, and what little information I could find through the Child Protective Agencies. Most of those records are sealed of course, but you’d be amazed at what money can do to unseal those.

“He’s family and that’s the most important thing you have in life—if it’s a good one.”

“You’re definitely right about that. Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot,” she says, and I smile, because she is relaxing now. The tightness is gone from her body and I like it. I want her to know she’s safe with me. All of that makes me want to hold back and not ask her, but I plow ahead because I need to know.

“What are you going to do if the court won’t give you custody of Russ?”

I watch as the emotions flicker over her face and I was right. I instantly regret pushing the subject, because I see the sadness.

“I’m really not sure. If it happens, I guess I’ll have to deal with it then. I won’t let him go, though,” she insists. It’s clear her mind is made up.

“You mean that you’ll leave and disappear with Russ.”

“Yep.”

“And live like you did before?”

“Don’t judge me, Green. Believe it or not, I really am sorry that I struck out at you that night, but—”

“I’m not judging you, Kage. I’m worried about you. There’s a difference.”

“Why are you worried?” Her forehead crinkles with her question and it’s clear that she really doesn’t understand. “It doesn’t concern you. I told you, I’m not pregnant.”

“It concerns me because I care about you, Kage.”

Surprise colors her features. Whatever she expected me to say, that clearly wasn’t it.

“Green—”

“There you go again,” I almost moan, bending my head down so our lips are almost touching.

“What,” Kage pants, the word barely more than a breath.

“Turning me on by saying my name,” I rumble, taking her mouth in a kiss that I’ve been dreaming about since the last time I kissed her in her apartment. Her lips are butter and salt covered and those two things combined have never tasted so good. I feel like a man starving and I am.

Completely starving for her.

Our tongues slide against one another, mine possessive, hers giving and submissive. I lose myself in the kiss, not wanting to stop, wanting more. I forget where I am and what I’m doing, but Kage has had that effect on me from the beginning. I curl my body to try and get closer to her, my hand moving to hold her face still for my kiss, not wanting to let her get away. Unfortunately, I forget the popcorn is on my leg and it tumbles to the ground. I would have failed to notice that, but it spills on Kage’s dress, making her jerk and pull away from me.

“Shit,” I growl, picking up the warm popcorn and the container trying to scoop it up and off of her. “I’m sorry, Kage.” She laughs helping me get the popcorn gathered and I reach down to put it in back on the floor, this time sitting up. “Damn it,” I mutter.

“Stop,” she says, still laughing. “I liked it.” She’s staring at my lips and I know she’s talking about our kiss. I definitely picked the wrong place for our date. Right now, I want her back at my apartment. Too bad I’m staying at Mom’s. I’m going to have to figure shit out and soon—before my balls turn permanently blue.

54

Kage

My pulse is unsteady as I shift in my seat. The reason is simple. I’m turned on. Having Green this close to me, his arm around me, the smell of his aftershave, the masculine scent, the raw power of him, surround me…I can’t be blamed for the fact that the inside of my thighs is painted wet with excitement. Every time I draw in a breath, I get the scent of sex. I swallow nervously. Can Green smell it too? Does he know how turned on I am? How wet I am? It’s ridiculous and I don’t understand it. I mean, I’m in public, and I’m normally a very controlled person. Right now, I feel really out of control. Green has his hand on my leg, and it feels like it’s burning my skin, branding me.

“Kage?” he whispers. It’s probably my imagination, but his voice has this graveled tone to it, one that is similar to the one he used in bed.

“Yeah?” I bite my lip to keep from moaning when his hand moves on my leg, his fingers stretching out against my bare leg, because the slit of my dress falls open when I sit. Petal was wrong about this dress. It’s pretty and I do look decent in it, but suddenly I really wish that deep side slit wasn’t there, because it’s definitely a form of torture.

“Are you okay? You seem… unsettled.”

I wish the ground would swallow me up. How do I explain that I’m fine, but turned on? I can’t tell him that. I made this mistake once with him the first time we met. I can’t repeat that mistake, there’s too much at stake.

But, I want to.

“I…I’m fine. I think I just need some fresh air.” I keep my voice down, because of where we’re at. Luckily, we’re kind of in the back of the theater and there’s no one around us. There are a few people up front and scattered here and there, but it’s kind of empty. It’s a Sunday, plus most are in the other movie across the hall, because it’s the latest Rock flick that’s family oriented. Still, I don’t want to get complained on, or to be one of those patrons who talks during the entire movie.

“I don’t think that’s what you need at all, Kage.”

“I’ll be right—you don’t?”

“Not at all,” he murmurs into my ear, his breath tickling my skin. I shiver, but I’m not cold. Definitely not. I’m feeling extremely…hot.

That only gets worse when his hand begins to drift, sliding between my legs. I stiffen my body, try to squeeze my legs together, and panic because Green is close to discovering the fact that I am soaked with need for him. His lips come back to brush against my ear and I tremble at how great that feels. “Relax your legs, Kage. Let me in.” His voice might be soft, but there’s a thread of steel in them as he gives me his order.

“Green, this…we…”

“Do as I say, Kage.”

His voice is so dark, so tantalizing and even though I know I should ignore him and call a stop to this, I don’t. I don’t do as he orders, though. I keep my legs tight, maybe even tighter, not wanting his hand to move. Unfortunately, tightening my muscles like this, his hand lodged between my legs, his lips close to my ear, the forbidden fantasy of letting him have his way with me here—where anyone could see, it all combines to make me even more turned on. A fresh wave of wetness slides from my pussy and I barely keep from moaning.

“I need to go outside for a minute,” I respond, my voice sounding panicked. Thank God I’m off my period, but as much as I want this…I’m pretty sure it’s not a good idea.

He doesn’t let me move, and he doesn’t pay me any attention. Instead, he bites down on the lobe of my ear, making me gasp. My eyes open wide as I look around to see if anyone is watching us. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem like they are.

“You need to do as I tell you before I pull you over on my lap and fuck you right here.” His voice vibrates in my ear. At the same time, his hand forcefully pushes on my legs, making them widen to give him more room. It’s almost painful, the pressure he applies, but that even feels good. Then, before, I can complain, beg him to stop, beg him to keep going—something—his fingers curl against the thin strap of my panties and pushes them to one side.

“Green.”

I don’t say anything else. I don’t know what to say and it’s much too late anyway. His fingers are slipping between the lips of my pussy, my juices coating them.

“You’re drenched for me. You don’t need to go outside, Kage. You need me to fuck you.”

My eyes close as I quake with an all over body shudder.

There’s nowhere to hide now.

55

Green

I feel like carrying Kage out of here, dragging her back to my place and fucking her raw, until this need in me subsides. Until I’ve fucked her so hard that she won’t be able to move without remembering how good we are together.

Until I remember.

I’m angry with myself for not remembering my night with her. I want it back. I was the first man inside of her, I made her mine and except for a few scattered, discombobulated memories, I have nothing. Kage deserves better than that. I deserve better.

I don’t know how I’m going to make it up to her, but I know I’m going to try. I’m tired of running. That’s what I’ve been doing. Running from getting serious about another woman, from letting another woman in, letting her get close to me, to my son.

It’s clear to me now and this time, there’s a difference.

Kage isn’t another woman. She’s the woman.

I let the tips of my fingers caress against the tender flesh, searching out her swollen clit. She’s so wet that I can hear the movement of my fingers. My cock pushes against my jeans and I curse the fact that I can’t do what I want here. I can, however, bring Kage pleasure. I plan on bringing her so much pleasure that she becomes addicted to it, seeking it out.

Tying her to me.

I find myself wishing she had been pregnant. That way at least there would have been a bond to build upon. Still, she wants me. I’m going to use that, because I’m not letting Kage go. She’s not Cynthia. She’s not Marissa. She’s not trying to use me. She’s different and I need to stop the past from holding me back.

I have to quit questioning my reactions to Kage before I ruin this. With that in mind, I move my body so that Kage is somewhat shielded from onlookers. My fingers press against her, searching. I press my fingertips against her, entering her tight opening, but not going any farther.

“I’m going to take care of that ache you have, Kage. I need you to not make any noise, can you do that for me, baby?”

“Green,” she whimpers.

“It’s okay, Kage, look straight ahead and give me that mouth.”

“We shouldn’t do this,” she murmurs, but I can hear the need threaded in her voice. She wants this as much as I do.

I kiss her, my tongue forcefully taking over her mouth at the same time my fingers begin to fuck her. She’s every fantasy, her cunt, wet, hot, so slick my fingers glide in and out with ease, despite how tight she is, or the fact I can’t lay her down on the bed like I crave to do. I drink from her, the kiss intense, filled with need and carnal in the best of ways. I’m wishing I was on my knees, making her come on my tongue, swallowing down her sweet cream. I force myself to let go of her mouth, pulling back so I can see the passion and need on her face. God, she’s fucking beautiful.

My fingers are tunneling in and out of her, fucking her without mercy. Kage’s hungry little pants echo in my ear, her hips rocking with my thrusts, her body trembling, the walls of her pussy quivering around my fingers. I’ve never seen anything hotter, never experienced anything better.

“This is a small taste of what I’m going to give you soon, Kage.”

“Green, please,” she begs.

I stretch my thumb up to reach her clit, letting the pad tease her, my fingers still working her mercilessly. Her entire body jerks, her gasp echoing in my ears. I lick my way up her neck, her skin smooth, slightly salty, and as tantalizing as the rest of her.

“You’ve got to be quiet, baby, or everyone in here will know I’m fucking you. You don’t want that, do you?”

“Nnn…No,” she manages, her hips pumping so hard to try and get her orgasm that she almost comes out of the chair. I bite down on the side of her neck, knowing it will cause her pain, knowing it will mark her.

And fucking needing that.

A fresh wave of wetness floods her pussy. Christ, she might drown me when I eat her out. She lets out a low moan, I take her lips quickly, not letting much of the sound escape. Fuck, my Kage is going to be a screamer, I can tell. A flash of memory hits me, where she cries out my name and begs me to fuck her. This time it’s my body trembling, needing to be inside her so much that my dick is in pain.

“You’ve got to be quiet, baby,” I warn her.

“I need you,” she purrs in my ear, her voice soft and hungry.

“I’ll give you what you need. You need to hold onto me, bite into my shoulder when you come. Make sure you do that and don’t let out your scream. Can you do that for me, Kage?”

“But it will hur—”

“Do it, baby. I don’t care if it hurts. I’ll fucking love it. Now, are you going to be a good girl and come for me?” I stop fucking her, my fingers buried in her pussy and wait for her to agree.

Her body shudders beneath me.

“Kage,” I gripe, warning her, biting her ear to get her attention.

“Yes, Green,” she murmurs, her arms wrapping around me, shifting her body so my fingers slide even deeper inside of her. She kisses my neck, her tongue sliding against my Adam’s apple, and then she lifts up to look at me. Her face hidden in the darkness, but I can see her licking her lips. I feel the walls of her pussy quaking against my fingers. “I want to come for you,” she murmurs, her voice so quiet that I don’t know how I hear it, but I do. Right now, I feel so close to her that I think I could hear her even if she never said a word out loud.

I begin fucking her then, relentlessly tunneling in and out of her, my thumb pressing against her clit, moving my lips back to her ear, urging her to come.

“Give it to me, Kage. Give it all to me.”

“Yes,” she purrs, her teeth scraping against my throat.

“Give it to me,” I grunt. “Or so help me, Kage, I’ll strip right here, stretch your legs out on either side of this seat and fuck you in front of every single person here, not letting you come until you do.”

Her pussy flutters. It’s barreling through her. I feel it, her whole body tightens, she’s grinding that sweet little cunt, capturing my fingers in her so tightly that she could break them.

“Please,” she gasps.

My eyes close, my free hand moving to find her hard nipple that’s straining beneath her clothes. I pinch it, twisting and sending her over the edge, while my fingers fuck her hard, giving her what she needs, as she rides out her climax. Her teeth sink into my skin at the top of my arm, the pain making me shudder, my dick weeps and my entire body hungers for more.

I’m never letting Kage go.

56

Kage

“You’re quiet,” Green murmurs, kissing the top of my head as we walk along the sidewalk to Addie’s restaurant. We’re holding hands, and it feels… different between us. “Are you okay?”

“I think I’m in shock.” I let out a small laugh, definitely self-conscious. “I can’t believe we did that.”

“I can. I grieved washing you off my fingers in the restroom.”

“Stop,” I playfully slap him across the stomach, my face fire engine red.

“I licked you off of them first though, don’t worry.”

“You did not,” I gasp, looking up at him, despite my embarrassment.

“Oh yeah, baby, I definitely did. Savored every moment of it. Some guy came in the bathroom looking at me like I was nuts.”

“Oh my God,” I mumble, burying my head into his side. He lets go of my hand to wrap his arm around me, cradling him to me and I feel warm all over. Warm and happy. “What did you do?”

“Licked my fingers clean and washed up and came back to you.”

“Oh Lord. You really did that, didn’t you?”

“Yep.”

I shake my head not knowing what else to say. We get to the door that leads to my apartment. There’s also an entry to it from the restaurant, but it has a separate one too—which makes it nice. I expect Green to kiss me at the door and leave, but he takes the key from my hand and opens it up.

“I…We’re here.” It’s a silly thing to say, but I’m nervous. I don’t know what he expects, especially after what happened in the theater.

“Yeah,” he says. His gaze is locked on my face, his eyes dark and intense, his hold on my hand warm and forceful all at the same time.

“So….” I draw out the word, unsure of where we go from here.

“I have a question for you, Kage. I almost don’t want to ask it, because I don’t want to upset or hurt you.”

Shit.

My heart feels like there’s a hand squeezing it. That’s not something a girl wants to hear after a date with a guy.

“Okay,” I respond and wait. I force myself to look Green in the eye. He hurt me horribly the last time we kind of had a date together, so I prepare myself. Perhaps Green gets off on playing Jekyll and Hyde. It’s better to know that now, before I let my guard down with him again.

“Was it like this between us that first night?” he asks, his question surprising me. I have to admit, it also stings. It was the best night of my life and it hurts that Green can’t remember it. I think that hurts even more than the fact he had another man throw me out of his hotel room.

I lean back against the door. My hands are behind me, palms flat against the glass door. I swallow as I look up at him. I consider his question, but realize I’m not exactly sure what he means.

“What do you mean? Are you asking—”

He stops, bending to kiss me, stopping me from talking. It’s a brief touch of lips but after he pulls back, he lets his thumb caress back and forth on my bottom lip.

“I’m asking if this pull between us was this strong that first night? You feel it too, don’t you, Kage?”

This is the moment I should deny everything. Walk away and not look back, but…

“I was a virgin, and yeah, I was nineteen, but that’s not why I was a virgin. I honestly never found someone who made me feel…”

“Yeah?”

“Like my body was on fire when he touched me,” I confess.

Green pulls me to him, I stumble, but go, the confession making my legs tremble. It’s really hard to open yourself up to a man who has hurt you. He puts a hand on either side of my neck, arching it so I look up at him.

“I’m not a virgin,” he says, and I roll my eyes, and curl my lips and nose in distaste.

“I believe I have that figured out,” I joke

“Smart ass,” he mutters, smiling. “I’m trying to tell you that I’ve never felt a pull, like the one between us, with anyone else, Kage.”

“Don’t do that, Green.” My voice is tight, I’m pissed off and I don’t try to hide it.

“Do what?”

“Lie to me. You’ve been married twice and your mother talks.”

“What does that mean, Kage?”

“Do you really want to do this right here?” I ask, exasperated. After such a good night, I should have known it would all blow up.

“What I really want to do is to take you upstairs, bend you over the bed and fuck you. Since our boys are upstairs with my mother, I figure that’s out.”

“I don’t want to fight with you on the street. Please stop. Whatever happens between us, don’t tarnish it by lying.”

“I’m not lying, Kage.” Finally, the humor leaves his expression. There’s not a damn thing funny about any of this.

“I’ve been here a while now, Green. Don’t you think I’ve heard all of the Cynthia stories from your mother?”

“My mother has a big mouth,” he grumbles, rubbing the side of his face in frustration.

“Even if she hadn’t said a word, I still would have heard it. Green House Lucas—”

“Christ, I’m going to kill my mother. Kage, never use that name again.”

“It’s your name, Green House. What would you rather I call you?”

“You keep it up and I’m going to show you what happens when—”

“I wouldn’t finish what you’re about to say unless you want me to show you how growing up on the streets taught me to defend myself, Green House.”

Something changes. I see it, even if I don’t understand it. His face softens and he looks at me, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“Christ, Kage, I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Then, don’t lie to me. I deserve better than that.”

“Baby, I’m not lying. I’m not denying that most of my adult life has been filled with Cynthia in one way or another.”

“Including the night we met apparently.”

“You are never going to understand how much I regret that, beautiful.”

“Listen, it’s getting late and I’m kind of cold,” I lie. “Go home, I’ll go up to the boys. Allen can go home with your mom, or you can collect him tomorrow.”

“I’m not leaving, Kage. You’re going to hear me out.”

“I really think I’ve heard enough. What is it with you Green? You show me a great night, get my guard down, and then bam, deliver the pain. I don’t know what you think about me, but I’m not a masochist. It’s best if we end it here. I’m leaving.”

“Oh no, baby. That’s not happening.”

Before I realize what he’s doing, Green puts his hand at my neck and backs me up against the door again. His hold is solid, but not painful. I don’t feel like I’m in danger, but my heart still pounds harder.

“You’re not going anywhere, Kage. You wanted me, you got me. All of me. You let me have that body of yours once. What you gave me tonight, sealed your fate. You aren’t going anywhere. We’re going to play this out and see where things go.”

“Green—”

“Wherever it is, baby, you better believe we’ll be going there together.”

I can’t catch my breath.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” I whisper, unable to believe it myself.

“I’m completely sober tonight, Kage. If you didn’t want me, you shouldn’t have let me in again.”

I open my mouth to tell him that he’s crazy and this is over.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want you,” I murmur instead, my eyes closing, to hide me from his penetrating gaze.

“Open your eyes, Kage.”

“Green…”

“Open those fucking eyes, baby.”

Slowly I open them. His head is bent down, his lips close to mine. My face kissed by his warm breath.

“Green, I don’t know what’s going on here. I don’t know how to protect myself with you,” I admit. His gaze is so penetrating. It pierces me and it feels like he can see everything.

Like I have nothing hidden.

“You don’t have to protect yourself from me, Kage. I know I hurt you before, but I swear to you, you’re safe with me now.”

His hold on my neck changes. His hand opens, it moves to one side and then lifts my hair as he cradles my head. His other hand is holding my hip, not letting me move. But I don’t want to. I’m scared, don’t get me wrong. Still, I know in my heart that I can’t leave when Green is promising me everything I’ve ever wanted.

“What do you want from me, Green?”

I watch, transfixed as his lips spread into a smile.

“All you will give me, Kage. All you will give me.”

57

Green

A Week Later

“HUNGRY?”

I smile at the shocked look on Kage’s face, and then because I can’t stop myself, I lean in to touch my lips against hers. It’s a brief peck. It can’t even be qualified as a kiss, but it soothes me.

“I didn’t know you were coming over tonight,” she murmurs, holding onto the door.

“We thought we’d surprise you. Are you hungry?” I ask.

“We?” she asks, confused and then Allen comes in through the elevator. I sent him across the street to Jimbo’s Pizza to pick up two large pizzas. I didn’t expect he’d be so quick behind me. That’s not a bad thing, but I was hoping to kiss my woman a little more before there was an audience.

My woman.

Mine.

Fuck, that feels good.

“Hey, Kage. Is Russ here? Dad and I brought some pizza.”

“Hey, Allen,” Kage responds, her voice going soft, her face softer. “He’s in his room, go on in,” she says, standing back.

“Sweet!”

He hands me the pizzas and makes a straight line for Russ’s room.

“You okay, baby?”

“Yeah, a little tired,” she admits, but for some reason I get the feeling it’s more. “Put the pizzas on the bar and I’ll get some paper plates and some sodas,” she adds. I put the pizzas down, but I grab her arm before she can walk away, pulling her to me.

“Hey, you’re worrying me.”

I study her face. This is the first time I’ve seen her in a week. We’ve talked, but mostly texts. I did call her a couple of times to tell her goodnight, but the conversations have been deliberately light. Now, I’m wondering if that was wise. She seems to be stressed and worrying over something and I have no idea what.

“Green—”

“Tell me what’s going on, baby,” I plead.

I brush my thumb against the pulse point on her wrist. I made a mistake. I should have kept her closer this past week. I won’t make that mistake again.

“It’s been a rough week. I don’t…”

“Dude, I’m starved,” Allen calls coming back into the room, Russ following him.

“Allen—” I’m about to tell him to give me and Kage a little time, but she jerks in my hold. I watch as she forces a smile on her face and looks at the boys.

“Well then, get in here and get it,” she says, sounding so cheerful that if I didn’t see the stress on her face seconds earlier, I would have thought I imagined it.

“We’re not done here, Kage.”

“We are,” she argues, handing me a paper plate with two pieces of pizza on it.

“For now, baby. But we’ll be revisiting this convo.”

She ignores me while she gets the boys settled with pizza and drinks.

“Can we watch the new Will Smith movie, Dad? I could sign in on your account?”

“Sure, Allen, knock yourself out.”

The boys move to the living room area and fan out. I can see them from the bar and once they get absorbed in finding the movie, I turn back to Kage.

“Baby—”

“How did you know how I like my pizza?” she asks frowning.

“Sorry?”

“The pizza,” she repeats. “How did you know what I liked on it?”

“Allen told me,” I reply frowning.

“Oh. Thanks for the food. I was hungry.”

“You’re welcome. Did you realize we haven’t seen each other in a week?”

“I realized it. I wasn’t sure you did,” she mutters, scooping up some of the cheese from the side of the piece she has in her hand.

And there it is. I made a mistake, not keeping her closer.

“I noticed, Kage,” I tell her, but I don’t think she believes me.

“Kage, Green, the movie’s started!” Russ calls from the other room.

“Shall we?” I ask her, holding her gaze and waiting.

“Okay,” she says and turns to walk to the couch. I watch her walk away, enjoying the way her ass moves in those cut-off jeans she’s wearing.

I follow her and curl on the couch. When she moves away from me, I move in closer. I refuse to let her put distance between us. She glares at me. For some reason, I have to stifle a laugh.

“I missed you, baby,” I purr, close to her ear.

“Stop it, the boys will hear.”

“Ask me if I care, Kage?”

“Ask me if I think you’re a jerk,” she mumbles under her breath and I laugh, I can’t help it. Then, I slide my hand against the back of her neck and pull her face to me. “Stop it, Green,” she hisses. “The boys—”

“Will have to get used to it, Kage. I told you, I’m not going anywhere,” I state and then before she can argue more, I kiss her.

She’s stiff in my arms at first, but the longer the kiss lasts, the softer she goes, her tongue slowly beginning to dance with mine. My fingers tangle into her hair, groaning into her mouth at the feel and texture of it. When we break apart, her face is softer, her fingers touching her lips.

“You’re still a jerk, Green.”

“I know, but I fucking missed you, Kage.”

She blushes and I lean in to kiss her lips again, keeping it light this time. When we turn, the boys are staring at us, grinning.

“What?” I grumble, good naturedly.

“My dad’s got game,” Allen says, and I roll my eyes.

“I thought he was going to swallow her tongue,” Russ laughs.

Kage groans.

“Okay, okay, turn around and watch the movie and quit embarrassing my girl.”

“Your girl?” Allen asks, but I can tell from his face he’s not unhappy about that. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think Russ is okay with it too.

“Boys—” Kage says, but before she can deny anything, I override her.

“Definitely, my girl,” I declare, and I do it while staring at Kage and silently daring her to deny me.

She doesn’t, and I thank my lucky fucking stars.

58

Kage

“What are you doing?” I mumble, my eyes so heavy that it takes real effort to open them.

I’m curled into Green’s body. He’s cradling me and walking. It takes me a minute for my sleep-drugged body to realize what’s going on, as Green crosses the threshold into my bedroom.

“Taking you to bed,” he says, and I ignore the way that simple declaration makes my body tingle or the wetness that instantly gathers on my thighs with it.

“The boys—” I remind him, trying to shake the sleep out of my brain.

“They’re in bed, either already asleep or pretending to be so they can play video games, Kage,” he says, closing my door with his foot and carrying me over to the bed.

“Oh,” I breathe, my heart beginning to beat erratically.

He deposits me on the bed, my tiny bedroom beginning to feel even smaller. Green frowns looking around the room and I feel self-conscious. I’ve done nothing to this room. The sheets, blanket and pillows all came from his mother. The area rug was here when I moved in. There’s a small dresser, one nightstand and the bed. That’s it. That’s all that was here when I moved in and since it involves me and not Russ, I’ve not spent money to try and make it better. I’ve put money back, because I wanted to be prepared. I know that is what I need to do more than anything else.

“Why are you in the smallest room?” he questions. I’m more than a little asleep, so I’m not sure what he means.

“Huh?”

“The room, beautiful. You took the smallest bedroom and gave Russ the better of the two.”

“I know,” I reply wondering why this is important. “I think I must still be half asleep,” I complain. “You’re not making any sense.”

I watch as he smiles at me. I’m once again struck by how beautiful he is when he does that. It doesn’t seem fair.

“Most women would have taken the bigger bedroom, Kage, that’s all.”

“That would be silly. Russ has the wheelchair and needs the room.”

“I love that you’re practical like that, baby—except for one small thing.”

“What’s that?”

“That leaves us with the smaller bed tonight.”

“Us…Uh…Green? You can’t spend the night.”

“I’m definitely spending the night,” he argues.

“You can’t, the boys are here, they’ll know.”

“Honey the boys are teenagers. They will know I’m having sex with you regardless of if I stay or not,” he argues. He sounds so casual about it all that it makes my head spin.

“They won’t know we’re having sex,” I argue, and I don’t know why I’m being like this. Technically, Russ and I talk about this stuff. He knows what happened between me and Green and how much it all hurt. Still, I don’t want his son to think bad of me. I mean, not that he should think bad of me for sleeping with his father. Or maybe he should? Is this something that happens often? Does Green sleep with all kinds of women with his son in the next room?

“If your mind works any harder, it might explode, Kage,” Green says taking off his pants.

“Keep your clothes on!” I demand it, even if my voice is little more than a hushed whisper.

“I don’t sleep with clothes on, baby. You should know that.”

“Well, you are tonight,” I huff, ignoring the fact that I told him he could stay the night here. I mean, I didn’t actually give him the words, but I might as well have. I let out a mournful sigh.

My brain really is mush around Green.

Green walks to my dresser and rummages around. He somehow manages to find his jersey that I keep in there and brings it over to me, wearing nothing more than his underwear—briefs not boxers and I blush when I find myself staring at them, his cock obviously hard inside and pushing against the fabric. I can’t pull my gaze away from his damn dick. Green drops his jersey on my head, laughing.

“Maybe I should feel objectified that I can’t get your attention for the way you keep staring at my dick, but I like it. I could take these off,” he says, hooking his thumb in the waistband of his shorts and pulling it a little so the elastic snaps back against his skin with a soft pop. “And let you see all of me without them in the way,” he suggests. I pull his jersey off of my head and give him a mean face—which makes those laugh lines in the corner of his eyes kick in.

“No thank you. And I don’t want to sleep in this shirt. I like the other one—” I grumble, lying through my teeth. I’ve slept in Green’s shirt ever since the day he gave it to me. Not that I will ever tell him that. If I did, it would inflate his ego and that’s already big enough.

“Too damn bad,” he snaps. The easygoing, sweet look from earlier completely wiped off of his face now.

Guess I hit a nerve.

I know that shouldn’t make me happy, but it does.

He crouches down on his knees in front of me. I’m sitting on the bed, my feet on the floor, but suddenly I have the urge to scramble backwards to get away from him. Maybe Green can read my mind, because he puts his hands on my knees and stares directly into my eyes.

“I know I fucked up this week, but you’re my woman, Kage. That means only my shirt or your own covering that body of yours.

“Your woman? I think we both know that’s not true.”

“I think we both know it is true. The question I have is why you’re fighting it so hard.”

“I haven’t even seen you all week, barely heard from you. I don’t think you can hardly call someone yours if—”

“I’ve called you and texted.”

I blink. I mean, he has, but they haven’t exactly been loving notes he’s texted either. Even the phone calls have been a little stilted. I mean, it’s not that I expect him to send me love notes, but they’d be a little more personal if someone truly cared about you… wouldn’t they?

“Green—”

“I’m sure Mom and the girls have told you all about Marissa and Cynthia by now, Kage.”

“Cynthia, yes. Marissa, not so much, except to say she was Allen’s mother and came down with a bad case of Bridezilla that never went away.”

“That sounds like Petal’s description,” he says, smiling, but there’s not much humor evident on his face.

“Yeah,” I respond, my throat suddenly tight because I feel like whatever is going on here, might be important.

“The point is, I’ve had two major relationships in my life, and they haven’t been good ones and not particularly loving in nature.”

“Green.”

That’s the only word that I can manage to get out and honestly, it’s little more than a puff of breath. My chest feels tight and it’s like I’m on the edge of a high wall, terrified to move.

“My point is, I’m going to fuck up, baby. I’m trying not to go too fast with you, to treat you with care. I don’t want to rush this—rush you, but I’m almost as new to this stuff as you are.”

“I think you spending the night on date two might be rushing it.” I feel compelled to point out.

“I’m going to sleep with you in this bed without my cock inside of you all night, Kage. That’s as slow as I’m willing to go.”

“You are?” I ask. Disappointment is welling up inside of me so huge that I know he can hear it in my voice.

“It’s a twin-size bed and believe it or not, I don’t make love with a woman when my son is in the next room over, with paper thin walls.”

“You don’t?” I ask, feeling hope rise up inside of me.

“No, baby, I don’t.”

“How often has it happened?”

“Kage—”

“I mean, even with the walls made of bricks or whatever.”

“You really want to know?”

“I think so,” I admit, not completely sure, but torn because I need to…maybe.

“Then, I’ll tell you, but I’m going to do it while holding you,” he says.

He reaches down and gets my shirt. Our gazes lock as he pulls it over my head. My hands automatically go to my breasts, covering them, but Green kisses my forehead and then reaches behind me to undo my bra.

“Green…”

He lets the bra fall to the floor on top of my shirt. My gaze moves downward, following the fabric and I’m shocked when I feel Green’s hair softly brush against my skin. My attention moves back to watch him place a kiss against my breast, his tongue lightly teasing my nipple.

“Fuck, baby, your skin tastes like cinnamon, sweet and spicy and totally addicting.” My breath shudders through me and I wait, torn between wanting him to do more—to take the decision out of my hands, and wanting to call a stop to everything and remind him that the kids are close by.

I’m a little disappointed when Green slides his shirt over my head, letting it fall down and cover my body.

I lick my lips as he reaches under the shirt and pulls my shorts down. I lift up, letting him take them completely off. What we’re doing somehow feels more intimate than anything we’ve shared before. Green gets up then, my eyes still following him and I’m almost his puppet as he situates us on the bed, pulling me into his arms, half on top of him, my head resting against his chest, his heartbeat echoing in my ear.

59

Green

I reach over and turn off her bedside light and we lay there in the dark. My fingers move through her hair as I go over everything that I want to tell her and everything I should tell her. Lying like this, with Kage in my arms, my hands on her body, there is this feeling of rightness that steals over me. It’s a peace so strong, that it is unlike anything I have ever felt before.

“This is nice,” I tell her, completely understating how fucking good being with her is.

“It’s my favorite.” Her reply makes me smile.

“Your favorite?” I question, amusement thick in my voice.

She grows still and then shifts so she can hold her head up to look at me. There’s light from the window coming in, casting just enough for me to see her heavily shadowed face. I want to reach over and turn the light on, but there’s something that feels good about this. It’s almost as if in the darkness there’s only the two of us existing. I don’t want to change that right now.

“That night we were together,” she begins. “It was good, but—”

“Fuck, I’m sorry, Kage. I hate that I took your virginity while drunk. I hate that I can’t go back—”

“Hush,” she urges, stretching to press her lips against mine. She kisses me, completely on her own and I let her have the control. She’s cautious, a little timid as her tongue slides against mine, but she’s genuine and I can tell that she likes kissing me, likes being in charge right now. So, I fight the urge to take control and let her play.

“I can’t explain it, and even though I did taste alcohol when we kissed, you didn’t seem that drunk and you made my first time really, really good,” she says with a smile that is full of satisfaction, so I guess I should at least be thankful for that. I release a frustrated breath, knowing I have to put my regrets behind us, so that I can concentrate on our future.

And I do want a future with Kage. She is my future.

I decide before I put the past behind me, I owe her something that will let her know how important it is to me. It seems the very least I can do.

I bring my hands on either side of her neck, letting my thumbs brush against her skin.

“I need to tell you something, Kage. I know by us sleeping together and how bad I fucked up the following day, you think you know me. But, it’s not true.”

I feel her body stiffen, but I don’t let her get away.

“I’ve slept with all of three women in my life, Kage. It kills me that of those three, you are the one I can’t fully remember.” Her hands come up to rest against mine and I push through telling her the rest of what I need to. “That should answer your question about how many women that Allen has seen me with. What we did together that night isn’t my norm, Kage. It’s so far from the norm that I can’t begin to explain it. I could say it’s because I was upset and drinking, or that I had mixed the alcohol with my pain medication. None of that is smart and maybe it does explain parts of it, but I know how I react to you. I know this pull we have between us and I think it would have happened even if I hadn’t been drinking. I’m attracted to you and I have a connection with you that I’ve never experienced before.”

“You don’t have to say all of this Green.”

“I’m not saying it because I have to, Kage. I’m telling you because I want you to know. That night outside of the restaurant, I should have been running to get away from the crazy woman inside. Instead, I stayed there to talk to you because I didn’t want to leave until we talked. Hell, if you want the truth, there was a part of me relieved to see you when I finally recognized you at Addie’s.”

“That might be asking me to believe too much,” she laughs.

“Maybe, but I swear to you it’s the truth.”

“I was worried that after what happened when we went out and then this past week… I was worried that maybe you…”.

She’s stumbling over her words and I kiss her to stop them.

“I’ve literally confessed I slept with three women in my life, Kage. I think it’s pretty clear those first two weren’t good relationships. I get now that I’ve spent the evening with you that I fucked up not calling more, not telling you more on the phone of what I was feeling. It left you unsure of where my head is. My only defense is that I’ve been trying not to rush you.”

“Since the first date, you made me come in the middle of a theater and now, on this second one, you’re insisting on spending the night, maybe you can understand how I’d have trouble believing you.”

“You’re forgetting one thing, Kage.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m also an idiot,” I admit, and she looks at me for a second and then starts laughing. “The next date we’re going to my house,” I grumble. “I have a bigger bed.”

“That’s a very long commute for me to get to work, though,” she laughs.

“I guess I’ll have to find a house closer,” I tell her, completely serious. I’ve spent this last week beginning my exodus from the team. I haven’t told Kage, I don’t want to spook her. I am, however, beginning to lay groundwork for a life in Mason.

A life with her.

I kiss the top of her head when she relaxes and snuggles back into my body. I want to make love to her so bad that I might go mad before the night is through. Holding back might actually be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

But I do it.

Because soon, there will be no holding back, there will be no doubt.

Soon, Kage will belong to me completely.

60

Kage

I wake up warm, comfortable and secure. It’s a new feeling for me, and definitely one I’ve never had before. As I slowly open my eyes, it’s to see Green’s face. Green is lying on his back, taking most of the bed. I’m trapped, on my side, pinned between his warm body and the wall. Green is sound asleep, and I take a minute to admire him. He really is beautiful, even more so in his sleep. His dark hair, brows and long eyelashes accentuate his features and I think—not for the first time—that if he hadn’t been a baseball player, he could have easily been a model. He has a raw virility that leaps out at you. It’s a part of him.

I think back over last night and the talk we had. I’m still worried, and definitely insecure, but I think Green does really like me. I think we have a real chance at having a relationship and I need to concentrate on that and put the past behind me. I have to learn to trust Green if I want him in my life.

And I definitely do want that.

I don’t want to ruin it by clinging to past hurts. I need to let it go, especially if Green was telling the truth and the way we met is not a common occurrence to him. Maybe I’m a fool for wanting to believe in him, to give him my trust after everything we’ve gone through, but if I am, so what? If this works out then I’ll have everything I’ve ever wanted. If I’m being honest, I think I could fall in love with Green.

Maybe I already am.

If I’m wrong?

If I’m wrong, and Green is playing me, it’s going to hurt. It will bring me to my knees, but it won’t be the first time it has happened. I’ll survive.

I have to at least try… If I don’t, I’ll always wonder.

And these are the thoughts that wake me up. These are the thoughts I’m going over in my mind while lying here beside a sleeping Green. They are also what spur me into making a big decision.

I throw caution to the wind and carefully move to the foot of the bed. I’m nervous, but I know I need to do this. If I’m serious about Green, then I need to truly put the past behind me. The bedside clock announces its five in the morning with big bright red numbers. I have to go to work soon, because I’m opening. Before I do, though, I’m going to remind Green of how good we are together. He may not remember our first night, but I’ll never forget it.

With that in mind, I position myself between his legs, swallowing down the last dregs of uneasiness. I’ve never done this, but I’ve read books, mostly romance novels, and how hard could it truly be?

My hands shake as I carefully begin lowering the waistband of Green’s underwear. It’s not easy, and Green inadvertently helps me when he shifts in his sleep. I get his shorts out of the way enough to have his cock completely out. He’s not completely hard, somewhere between semi and full. His girth is soft and warm. I let my finger lightly trail along the visible vein I see, taking a minute to admire him. Then, I carefully take him in my hand, letting myself get used to the heavy feel of it. I stroke him slowly. One slow, gentle stroke, my hand holding him loosely, experimenting and feeling kind of powerful all at the same time.

I stop mid-stroke when Green moans, gaze immediately pulled from his hardening cock to his face.

“Don’t stop now, baby,” Green groans, hunger evident in his dark eyes. “Keep going, give me that sweet mouth,” he urges, causing wetness to flood through me trickling against my thighs, and making me moan in pleasure.

I keep my gaze focused on him, while I hold his cock. I’m nervous, but I’m so turned on that I push past that. The desire on Green’s face gives me courage. I look down, seeing a small bead of cum gathered on the head of his cock. Not stopping to second-guess myself, I run my tongue along the path, gathering it on my tongue and sucking it down.

“God,” Green groans, pleasure dripping from his words. Then, before I can question myself, I lower my mouth onto his cock and take him into my mouth.

61

Green

I watch as my shaft disappears in Kage’s sweet little mouth. She sucks my cock, pulling it deeper into her mouth, her tongue sliding against it, teasing me in the best ways possible. I groan under my breath when she stops, unable to take me completely.

I reach down and push her hair out of the way, not wanting to miss a second of what she’s giving me.

“That’s it, baby. That’s it,” I praise as she wraps her hand around the base of my cock.

I use the hold I have on her hair to show her the rhythm I need her to have. The pleasure of teaching Kage how to suck me off is so damn good, I can’t describe it. It makes me feel like a damn king.

I watch those full red lips that are stretched around my cock slide up and down on my shaft, mesmerized by how beautiful it is. She’s every dream I’ve had through the years and thought never existed.

“Green,” she moans around my cock, causing a vibrating hum against my shaft that rocks me, centering in my heavy balls. My eyes close as the pleasure threatens to pull me over the edge—way too fucking soon.

“God, Kage. I need to fuck you. I want inside of you,” I breathe, as I slide out of her mouth. “I need it so fucking soon.”

I see the indecision on her face, and I curse myself silently. She’s uncomfortable because the boys are so close by. I understand and to me, it’s proof that she’s a good woman. Hell, Marissa hasn’t tried to shield my boy from any of the shit she does. That’s how I got full custody of him.

I know in my heart I could convince Kage to give in with very little effort. I also know that when I fuck her, I don’t want her worried about anything other than taking my cock and giving me all she has. I sure as hell don’t want her stifling her cries as she comes.

“Green.”

Her voice is breathy and there’s no way to mistake the hunger in her words.

“It’s okay, baby. It will happen, soon. I need you,” I assure her.

I pull her face to me, roughly, my hand fisted in her hair. Kissing her hard, trying to tell her without words how I feel about her. I taste myself on her tongue and I don’t give a fuck. She’s mine. Soon, I’m going to fill her so fucking full of my cum that she will feel me sliding against her legs as she walks. I’ll mark her on the inside and everywhere I can on the outside. I want her to know that when she looks in the mirror, I worship every damn inch of her.

“Finish me, Kage. Let me come down that pretty little throat of yours.”

She studies my face, then she kisses me again, nibbling along the side of my face to get to my ear. “Whatever you want,” she whispers against my ear.

My dick jerks in her hand, my balls tighten.

I don’t know where this need to have her total surrender comes from. I’ve never wanted it before, not once.

Not.

Fucking.

Once.

But it’s hot as fuck coming from Kage’s mouth. I like it, crave it. I could try to justify it, but I think it comes down to the fact it’s her acknowledging that I’m the boss in bed. I’m in control of her body, of her pleasure and everything that happens. It means she’s giving me complete trust that wherever we go I will make it good for her.

When she slides down my body, I lose all thought as I watch her swallow my cock back down.

“Fuck yeah, baby,” I moan as quietly as I can. “Take it all.” I can’t stop myself from pushing down on her head, I’m too far gone. “I’m going to come and you’re going to swallow every fucking drop, Kage,” I order her, feeling that familiar heat move through me. Kage’s hand tightens on the base of my cock. She begins to stroke me and suck me in a perfect cadence that pushes me to the edge.

Then, her free hand reaches up. She traps my nipple between her thumb and forefinger, tugging on it while her mouth sucks hard against my head, pressing against the roof of her mouth. Her tongue slides against the underside of my shaft, and I lose it, releasing jet after jet of cum into her mouth. I force myself to watch her throat move as she swallows me down.

Swallows a part of me, taking it deep down inside of her.

“That’s my woman. Take it all,” I praise.

Mine.

All fucking mine.

62

Kage

“Why does my Poppy have that beautiful smile on her face today?”

I feel myself blush as I look at Ida Sue.

“Mom quit embarrassing Kage,” Green demands.

Ida Sue clicks her tongue at Green and gives me a wink.

“Green, good Lord, I only asked her why she was so happy, not if she had bagged my son and finally tamed his pet snake,” Mom chastises.

“Uncle Green has a pet snake! I wanna see!” River yells.

“Jesus, Mom!” Green lets out a frustrated breath. “I don’t have a snake, River. Gramma is just being a dunderhead.”

“A dunderhead?” Ida Sue repeats with narrowed eyes.

“It’s better than what I thought about calling you,” Green replies, not backing down.

“Boo, I wanted to see the snake,” River pouts, stalking off.

“Not this snake you don’t,” Allen declares, coming around Kage with Russ wheeling in behind him.

“Allen.”

“Just saying, Dad. Gramma, did you make barbeque chicken tonight?” Allen asks. I’m thankful because I really don’t want to talk about this particular subject anymore.

“Did you ask me for barbeque chicken, Punkin’?”

“Yeah,” Allen responds, giving a big grin.

“Then, there’s your answer. Do you like barbeque chicken, Russ?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“What did I tell you about that, boy?”

“To call you Gram-maw or Me-Maw?”

“Exactly,” she says, smiling so tenderly at him, my heart squeezes in my chest because I see the look of wonder on Russ’s face. I feel tears sting my eyes and maybe Green notices because suddenly, I feel his arm come around me, pulling me into his side. I smile when I feel him kiss the top of my head. I don’t know if he realizes he does that often, but every time he does, it makes me feel… special.

“If it’s okay…I mean, I was wondering, would it be okay to call you Gramma like Allen and Calder do?”

“I’d really like that, Russ sweetie.”

“Cool,” he exclaims, sounding like he’d been given the keys to a brand-new kingdom. Then, Ida Sue comes around to Russ and bends down, hugging him.

Our eyes meet and I find myself mouthing, “Thank you.”

She gives me a wink. I can see her eyes are moist, but she does a great job of hiding it when she pulls away and looks at Russ. “Go play with Allen. Dinner will be ready in a bit.”

“Thanks for watching the kids, Mom,” Green tells her, once Russ leaves.

“Pfft… You know I love watching my grandbabies. You two go have fun.”

“Will do. Are you ready, baby?” Green asks and something hits me so strong that my knees almost buckle.

This is what it feels like… to be happy.

To belong.

63

Green

“You’ve been quiet since we left Mom’s.”

I look over the table at Kage. I know it’s not my imagination. She’s been subdued since we left Mom’s. I want to fix whatever is wrong, but I can’t if she doesn’t let me know what it is.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be. I’ve been looking forward to tonight all week,” she says, and she smiles at me in a way that I can tell she’s telling the truth.

“Not as much as me. It’s been a hard week.”

She laughs out loud, shaking her head at me. “Green, it’s only been two days since you were at my apartment. I can’t imagine it’s been that hard.”

“I didn’t say what part was hard, baby.”

She stares at me for a minute and then I can see when she gets what I’m saying.

“Oh God, you’re horrible.”

“Just honest,” I respond, taking a drink of my beer.

“If that’s true, then why didn’t we have dinner at my house tonight…alone?”

“That’s a really good question,” I admit.

“And what’s the answer?”

“Kage, I think you get by now, or at least I hope you do, that I really like you.”

“I’m starting to believe it,” she says, her cheeks blushing with color.

“Good. The point is, you wouldn’t believe how much I want to get you in bed—or even out of it, counter, wall, floor, I’m not choosey. Hell, at this point, I’d even try a bicycle.”

“A bicycle?” she laughs.

“I could make it work.” I shrug. “The point is, what we have started means more than that to me. I want to make sure you know that. If it means giving myself blue balls for a little longer, I can deal. I want you to know that I’m in this for the long haul.”

“Green—”

“I’ve fucked up a lot so far when it comes to you, Kage.”

“I didn’t exactly make things any easier, Green.”

“You didn’t do anything I didn’t deserve,” I mumble, and she didn’t. I was an ass. I hate that Kage ever had to worry like she did. I’m going to make sure she will never be in that position again. “Anyway, I want to take a little time to get to know you.”

“How much time is a little?” There’s a little giggle to her voice that I can’t remember hearing before. I’m hoping that means she’s feeling more comfortable with me.

“Let’s see how my balls last through dinner and go from there.”

“Deal,” she says, shaking her head.

The rest of our dinner is easy and casual. It doesn’t escape my attention that the two of us have an easiness about us when we’re together that is completely new to me. As we’re waiting for our dessert, I can’t resist asking Kage about something that I’ve been curious about for a while.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” she says, but I see trepidation enter her face. She still doesn’t trust me completely, but it is getting better.

“What happened to Russ?”

I watch as the shadows move over her face, but I press it, needing to understand. “I mean, we saw him move his feet, so how did he end up in the chair? Is he completely paralyzed?”

“He suffered a severe spinal injury. He has some mild feeling in his toes, but…” she stops talking and takes a sip of her water. “His diabetes makes things worse of course, but he’s doing better now with regular insulin and doctor appointments.”

“Baby,” I start, my voice regretful.

“Yeah?”

“I never had anyone tell me so much, but not give me the full story. How did he get hurt, sweetheart?”

She stares down at her water glass. Her finger moving along the condensation and I wonder if she’s going to answer me.

“We were placed in a foster home together. It was more or less a pay to stay place and a real shit-hole.”

“What’s pay to stay?”

“It means the couple would take on as many foster kids the state would allow, for no other reason than to get paid for keeping us. The mother—if you can call her that—was nonexistent. She stayed gone and if I was married to Derek, I have to admit, I’d do the same.”

“Derek?”

“The asshole who laid drunk and spent the checks the state sent for our care but didn’t want us around breathing his air.”

“I’m not going to like this story, am I?”

“I didn’t like living it. Still, I could deal. I was going to be free soon, on my own. Russ wasn’t quite so lucky.”

“What happened?”

“Russ got really sick. Marg was gone on one of her girl’s trips and Derek hadn’t bothered to shop all week. Which meant we starved.”

“Motherfucker.”

“We got lunch at school, but Russ had to miss school because he was sick. Which meant he didn’t eat for almost three days straight. For a diabetic kid… I snuck him my food from school, but I wasn’t around to make sure it helped, to monitor him. He got dizzy and stumbled backwards, knocking over a lamp.”

“Fuck.”

“He beat him. I don’t know how long. I know when I walked in, he was kicking Russ repeatedly in the back, cursing him. Russ’s face was swollen, blood…” She stops talking. Her body shuddering as she takes a breath and does her best to get control of her emotions. “I didn’t think. I had my Algebra book and I went at him. He would throw me off, but I’d shake it off and go right back. When he hit me in the face, everything went black for a minute, but I fought my way back. Luckily, he had fun out of teaching me a lesson and left Russ alone. I wasn’t able to get help that night, but when morning came and Derek was passed out, I…”

“Kage—”

“You wanted to know, Green.”

“I do, but I’m regretting asking you to tell me.”

“When morning came, the other kids were at school, but luckily Derek was passed out. Russ was in bad shape and I knew I had to do something.”

“And you, Kage? How were you?”

“Alive,” she jokes, but there’s no humor in her voice. “I crawled to the phone and called my school. They put me through to the principal and I prayed and prayed. I didn’t stop until the cops showed up at the door and took me and Russ to the hospital.”

“And Russ?”

“Hasn’t walked since.”

“Christ, baby,” I mutter, rubbing my hand through my hair.

“I think I’ve had enough getting to know each other tonight, Green,” she says, trying to give me a smile that doesn’t light her eyes. It does show me how strong she is—as if I needed the reminder. I heard parts of this story from Allen, but even with Kage’s version, I know she’s glossed over how bad it truly was.

“What do you say we get out of here and I see if I can make it up to you?”

“You think you can?” she asks, studying my face.

“I’d like to try,” I respond, my gaze never leaving hers. When she nods her head slightly, I throw money on the table and get up, going to her chair and helping her up. “You’re a hell of a woman, baby,” I murmur into her ear and kiss her forehead, her eyes, her cheek, until I finally reach her lips. Then I kiss her, not caring who is watching, only wanting to make her understand how special she is to me.

The more I’m with her, the more I see it.

Kage is everything.

64

Kage

I’m trying not to be nervous. I’ve been waiting for this and I want it. If I don’t try having a real relationship with Green, I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life. Every minute I spend with him makes me feel closer to him.

I’m even learning to trust him. If I didn’t, I never would have told him about Russ and the beatings. That’s not an easy story to tell, and I hate remembering any part of it. But I could tell it was important to Green to hear the story. He wants to know about my past, understand me, and I want that too.

I’m embarrassed that he knows about my past. That he knows I stole from people to keep Russ’s medicine and food coming in. I hate that he might think of me as weak for my past. The thing is, when Green talks to me, he doesn’t make me feel that way. It doesn’t feel like he judges me at all.

He reaches across the front seat of his truck and grabs my hand that is resting in my lap. He wraps his around mine and pulls it over so that it rests on his leg. The heat from his body feels warm against my skin. My hand held in his larger one makes me feel safe and cared about.

“You’re quiet again, baby.”

“I think I’m nervous about what comes next,” I tell him, needing him to understand.

“You have to know that this is about more than a hook up, Kage.”

“I do, it’s not that. I…”

“Tell me, Kage. You’re safe with me, I swear,” he promises.

“It feels…different,” I tell him, wincing as I say it, because I feel like I’m not making any sense.

“Is that good or bad?” he says, sparing me a brief glance before his gaze goes back to the road.

“Good, I think, but I’m nervous I’ll mess it up. Good things don’t normally happen in my life, Green. At least they never used to. Lately, all I’m getting is good and I’m scared it will go away as quickly as it came.”

“Maybe you’re getting the good because you earned it, Kage. Maybe fate is finally getting around to giving you everything good because you deserve it.”

“Yeah, right,” I laugh, kind of wishing I hadn’t brought this up at all.

“I can see you’re not convinced, but I believe it and eventually, I’ll make you believe it too.”

I don’t reply, because I’m not sure I could find my voice if I tried. The rest of the ride to my apartment is made in silence. I don’t know why Green’s not talking, for me it’s all about my nerves and trying to get control of them.

We walk hand in hand to the door and when we get there, Green takes my keys and lets us in. He keeps his hand on my back the entire time we walk to the elevator and during the elevator ride. The only time he takes it away is when he opens the main door to my apartment.

“Would you like something to—”

Before I can finish my question, he’s on me. His arms go around me, his body against me, him walking me backwards until my back hits the wall and I’m pinned against him.

“Green,” I breathe, but he takes my mouth in a rough kiss that isn’t gentle but instead filled with desire so hot it feels like liquid fire igniting the blood in my veins. Our lips crush against one another’s with a bruising force. Our teeth clash, our tongues war and then, there’s our hands.

Green’s hands go to my shirt, ripping it apart along the buttons in the center. My nails bite into his hips as I can do nothing more than hold on.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Green groans, when we pause long enough to draw oxygen into our air deprived lungs. “So fucking beautiful and you’re all mine.”

My fingers fumble with his belt as I try to undo it, desperate to have him. I could nearly cry for joy when I finally get it undone. Next comes the button and the zipper. The heavy weight of his cock strains out from his briefs, feeling hot and making the hunger inside of me burn.

His hands caress my breasts, unhooking the front clasp of my bra and letting it hang while he tortures me with his touch. I’m about to wrap my hand around his cock when the shrill ring of his cellphone echoes in the room.

“Fuck,” he growls. “Ignore it, Kage,” he orders his teeth scraping along the side of my neck, making me tremble.

“It could be Allen,” I remind him, and he goes still and pulls away to look at me. He reaches down to grab his pants which have fallen below his hips. He pulls his cellphone from the pocket and his body goes completely stiff when he looks at the caller ID. “Is something wrong?” I ask, because the change in him is very noticeable. He’s clearly not happy, he’s even more than a little pissed.

“I have to take this, Kage. Can you give me a minute?”

“Okay,” I tell him. “I’ll…go freshen up.”

I wait for him to tell me that I don’t need to leave, that it’s not necessary. He doesn’t do that. In fact, I get the distinct impression that he’s glad.

“What are you doing calling me?” he barks into the phone. There’s anger and pure venom coming out of his mouth. It’s all very confusing. It’s like someone flipped a light switch and all at once he’s a different person. “Jesus Christ, I don’t see how this is any of my concern,” he barks quietly into the phone. He’s keeping his voice down, and I’m probably going to hell, because I know he thinks I’ve left the room. Instead, I’m standing at the end of the hallway, hiding and listening. I don’t know why I have the need to listen, but something in my gut tells me that I do. There has to be a reason for such a strong reaction and change in Green. Another minute later I have my answer and I wish to God I didn’t. “Damn it, Cynthia, I am not the man that is in charge of picking up your pieces anymore. That’s over. I’m moving on with my life and you need to do the same.”

I breathe a sigh of relief at his words. He’s moving on, that’s good right? I’m worrying over nothing. I start to walk away. I shouldn’t be eavesdropping. I’m sure Green will tell me everything. I really need to learn to trust him better. We’re in a relationship. He cares about—

I stop walking, stop thinking, and I’m pretty sure I stop breathing with Green’s next words.

“Fine. I’ll come to you, but you better not be fucking lying to me,” he orders.

I close my eyes as a wave of pain threatens to pull me under.

Before it can take hold too strongly, I beat it back. I need to let Green explain. I may not have much experience with relationships, but I know that’s the correct thing to do.

“Kage,” Green calls out. I take a deep breath to steady my nerves. I fix my bra and grab a clean shirt, because I feel way too exposed. Then, I paste a smile on my face and walk back into the living room, pretending to be fine.

“Is everything okay?” I ask, waiting for him to explain what’s going on.

“It’s work, baby. I need to go take care of something. I’m so sorry.”

Work.

“It’s awfully late for work stuff. Can’t you tell them you’ll deal—”

“I really can’t. This is kind of delicate. I’ll explain more tomorrow. I really need to go take care of this now,” he responds, clearly preoccupied. All I can think of is that I am feeling really stupid.

“Then, I guess you better go,” I tell him, my voice so quiet that I’m sure he has to strain to hear me. I don’t think Green cares though, because he’s already righting his clothes and walking toward the door.

“Lock this behind me,” he says indicating the door he’s holding in his hand.

“I will,” I reply.

“I’m going to make this up to you,” he vows. “We’ll have dinner tomorrow night and—”

“I can’t tomorrow. I promised your mother that I’d go into the city with her and help her find some things for the trip her and Jansen are taking next month.”

I’m talking out of my ass, but Ida Sue had invited me, I turned her down. I’ll be calling her the minute Green leaves and telling her that I changed my mind.

“Then maybe the following night.

“I work,” I say simply.

“Then, we’ll plan it for Friday. I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll finalize everything,” he says. “I really am sorry, Kage.”

“It’s fine,” I tell him, knowing it’s anything but.

“Lock the door,” he reminds me again and then, he’s gone. Chasing after the woman that his own mother warned me about, saying he couldn’t seem to get over her.

I should have listened…

65

Green

“Green.”

I wait for it. That familiar punch in the gut that always happens when I look at Cynthia. That feeling that there’s something lacking in me that I can’t fix her.

Heal her.

I’ve spent most of my life doing that exact thing. Trying to save her before she destroyed herself. I don’t know when it was that I decided to take on that job. She was always gorgeous I can’t deny that. She had this flaming red hair that immediately caught my eye—it took me a year to realize it wasn’t natural. She was tall with legs that went for miles, and curves that drove a teenage boy insane and not only me—all the boys. Although, I seemed to be the one that she wanted. It took me a lot of time—too much time—to realize that Cynthia cared about me but hated herself more. She had a self-destructive streak a mile wide and there was something broken inside of her that, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t heal. She promised time and time again that she would change, that she loved me. I was young, stupid and thought I was in love, so I let her string me along.

My first breaking point was when I took her to the homecoming dance. She was crowned queen and she seemed to be on cloud nine. It was a good night. Or at least I thought it was.

I had to leave her alone for twenty minutes while I took Petal home, who had fallen at the football game and twisted her ankle. Twenty minutes. That’s it.

When I got back, Cynthia was nowhere to be found. With a sick intuition that only a man who’d been stupid time and time again has, I went to the boy’s locker room. The players were all out on the field now, but apparently halftime had been a free-for-all. I found Cynthia in the showers, the water running cold, her on the concrete, her body curled around the small circular drain, passed out in her own vomit--the homecoming queen sash on her naked body.

It wasn’t rape. You can’t rape the willing and Cynthia was always willing. She always equated physical love with acceptance.

“What the fuck are you doing, Cynthia?”

“I didn’t have anywhere else to go,” she replies.

I can tell she’s done her best to look like she stepped out of a magazine cover. She’s beautiful. Except for some reason I can see even clearer now that the beauty is paper thin. There’s also no comparison to Kage. Fuck, Kage is innately sexy and she… she’s everything I’ve ever searched for.

I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

That’s a familiar tune, too. I let her play that one often. The first time was at prom. I’d broken ties with her after the homecoming dance and decided if she was going to deconstruct, there was nothing I could do to save her. I made a date with Kayla to go to the prom and I finally felt like I was breathing clean air.

Then, Cynthia called me, crying. She was in bad shape—at least she seemed it. Tommy had broken up with her. Her mother was pissed because she’d spent a fortune on a dress. They were screaming at her and she was going to end it all. I was a kid, a stupid kid, but I should have been old enough to see through her crap. I should have, but I didn’t. I canceled my date with Kayla, and bailed Cynthia out and tried to fix her again…

Maybe I did for a while, but when she showed up to my Mom’s birthday dinner drunk, I’d had enough and that was breaking point number two. Then, I ran headfirst into something worse. Marissa.

You would think I would learn. That at my age, I wouldn’t be an idiot any longer. Yet, I have this sinking feeling in my gut I just made the biggest mistake in my life. Thank God, Kage doesn’t know. I’ll have to do everything I can to make it up to her.

“You had rehab. Why aren’t you there, Cynthia.”

“Green I already—”

“And don’t bother lying to me. I know you’re supposed to be there for two more weeks.”

I watch as that gentle, broken look slowly fades from her face, dropping away as if it were nothing more than a mask. Why couldn’t I have seen through her bullshit before?

“Fine, I checked myself out. I don’t need it anymore. I’m cured,” she says.

“You’re an addict, Cynthia. There is no cure. You’re always going to be an addict.”

“I’m not an addict. You make it sound like I use drugs and shoot up constantly. I don’t do that, Green.”

“No, you downed shots,” I respond, rubbing the back of my neck, wondering what in the fuck I’m even doing here.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re an alcoholic. That’s an addiction, Cyn. Not to mention you’re addicted to sex.”

I see it. I see it so fucking clear now that it makes my stomach turn. The minute that look comes across her face where she thinks she can slide back in. God, was I always so gullible?

She takes a few steps toward me. I know her intent and it takes all I have to not run away. I’m not doing that, though. I have a few things to say, and I’m closing this part of my life completely and thanking God that I found Kage.

“I thought you always liked the fact I loved sex, Green,” she purrs, reaching out to touch my face.

I grab her hand, my hold tight on her wrist, not allowing her to touch me.

“If it had only been with me, sure. But that shit never happened, did it, Cyn?”

“I’ve changed, Green.”

“For your sake, I hope you have. You’ve wasted half your life looking for something and refusing to see what was right in front of you.”

“I see you now,” she says, and I shake my head no, drop her hand and take several steps back.

“But, I don’t give a damn any longer. I’m done trying to save you from yourself. I’m done trying to help you out of some mutilated version of loyalty. I finally have good in my life and I’m not giving it up, especially for the likes of you.”

“You talk a good game, but if that’s true, why are you standing here with me at midnight instead of with her?”

“Because, I wanted to warn you.”

“Warn me? About what?”

“I’m done with you. I was done when I saw what a spectacle you made of yourself with Parker, and fuck, even before that if I’m honest.”

“Green—”

“And now that I’ve tasted a good woman, now that I know the difference between her sweetness and the way you twist shit up, I’m warning you. You stay away from everyone in my life. If you don’t, I’ll make you regret it.”

“You can’t tell me what to do or who to be around, Green. I’m in Mason because I want to move back home. I’m ready to settle down.”

“I thought that would be your play, and that’s the real reason I’m here.”

“What are you talking about?” For a second I’m pretty sure I see panic on her face, and I could almost laugh, because I don’t feel a thing.

“You try to come back to Mason, you try to even breathe the same air as my woman, and I’ll have you arrested.”

“You can’t do that,” she says, and she shakes her head back and forth, but goes deathly still when I smile.

“While you were in rehab your boss tracked you down at my house. She had some interesting things to tell me, Cyn.”

“Green—”

That’s real fear on her face this time. It’s the face of a woman who finally realized the man who has always tried to help her, is a bridge that she completely burned.

And it took way too damn long.

“Embezzling money, Cyn? You had to know you’d get caught.”

“I didn’t do it, Green, she’s lying.”

“No, she had all the proof, even sent me copies.”

“I’m telling you, it’s lies. If it were true, then why hasn’t she called the law? It’s because she knows she doesn’t have a leg to stand on!”

“Because I told her you were in rehab and trying to straighten your life up. I told her that you’d make payments every month until the debt was paid off.”

“You didn’t.”

“Yeah, I did. But then, you knew I would, didn’t you Cyn? That’s why you called me. It wasn’t to help you get into rehab at all. It was so that you could use me to bail your way out of trouble.”

“Green.”

“Call her. Agree to pay her three thousand a month back and she’ll not call the law, but you will have to sign a binding contract.”

“Three thousand a month? How am I supposed to do that?”

“Get a job, like the rest of the world,” I tell her. “And Cyn? Let me make this clear. Your old boss is only agreeing to do this because of me. You default on that contract? She’s calling the law.”

“You have to help me, Green.”

“I don’t have to do shit, Cyn, not anymore.”

“Green—”

“And to be extra clear, one of the stipulations is that you will not have any contact with me or my family.”

“How did you manage that?” she asks, her eyes narrowing.

“I paid ten grand down on your debt to broker the arrangement and requested that stipulation myself.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because apparently it takes me a while, but I do learn. I knew you’d come back around, and I wanted to make sure I was the one in control. All it takes is one phone call from me and you’re locked up. So go ahead, Cyn. Try me.”

“Green—”

“Do yourself a favor. Grab the next Greyhound out of Mason and away from me.”

With that, I turn completely away and leave Cynthia where she belongs.

In my past.

66

Kage

“What’s this?” I sniffle.

“Homemade chocolate frosty. It’s my go to when I want to knee Jansen in the balls, hop on the back of Hamburger and ride off into the sunset.”

I’m miserable but picturing that manages to make me smile.

“Jansen adores you. I doubt that’s ever happened,” I murmur moving my spoon through the ice cream Ida Sue brought me.

I knew I shouldn’t have, yet when Green left, I followed him. Normally, I couldn’t have, since I don’t have a car. It seemed like fate that Addie had left me her car so I could run errands in the morning for the restaurant. He drove to a small pizza place at the edge of town. I followed him and then I parked across the street and watched him. He met a girl outside of the restaurant. I knew immediately who it was. Talk of Green and his obsession with Cynthia is big around here, and Petal showed me a picture of her once. She has movie star good looks and I definitely feel plain and frumpy in comparison. I got sick to my stomach as I sat there in the car watching them. I was trying to keep calm and believe him. I really was.

I saw her move into him and put her hand next to his face. They stood close together, not moving… It didn’t take a rocket scientist to connect the dots.

I left quickly. I couldn’t stay there any longer. Then, I came home and called Ida Sue to make sure she would tell Green I was going out of town with her.

Everything might have been okay, if I hadn’t broken down on her and cried so hard that I couldn’t catch my breath.

That brings me to now. Three in the morning, eating a homemade frosty in my apartment with Ida Sue.

“My Jan is one of the best, but he’s a man and anytime there’s a dick involved, they’re going to be an asshole from time to time, Poppy. That’s a given.”

“It’s my fault. You warned me.”

“Oh, my sweet baby, when it comes to love there’s not a one of us immune to it. I could have been the Pope and warned you and you still would have fallen.”

“I really thought…”

“Say it, Poppy.”

“I thought he really cared about me, Ida Sue.”

“That’s the kicker, Poppy. I think my son truly does care about you.”

“Then, why did he go to her the minute she called?” I ask, and the tears start again.

Ida Sue takes away my melting frosty, sitting down on the couch beside me and pulling me into her arms. I wrap my arms around her, hugging her and taking the reassurance and caring she’s offering.

“I’ve been trying to figure that out about my son for more years than you’ve been around, Poppy.”

“I’m not that young,” I laugh, and she joins me.

“You are, but you’re an old soul, so it’s easy to forget.”

“An old soul? Is that the same as telling me I’ve been through hell?”

“I reckon trials and tribulations toughen us up, make us realize things we wouldn’t otherwise. It’s all a part of the Big Guy’s plan, I imagine.”

“Not to show any disrespect, but sometimes I think that God must have a warped sense of humor.”

“Sometimes when I look around, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t see anything funny about this world, Poppy. But my point is, Green may only remember the two good men I’ve had in my life, but he saw the scars of the others. Worse, he saw how people treated his Momma. It marked him in ways that you can’t see with the naked eye—all of my children really, but I think maybe Green and Blue the most.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, Blue is a different kettle of fish and it’s too late to open that can of worms, but with Green? Growing up, he saw himself as a protector. He wanted to protect me from the gossip, protect his sisters from pain and…”

“And Cynthia? I saw her tonight, Ida Sue. She’s gorgeous and carries herself in a way that you know life has come easy for her.”

“My Poppy, I never figured you for the type,” she chastises.

“What type?”

“The type that judges the book by the cover. Trust me when I tell you the inside of Cynthia is about as ugly as they come.”

“Yeah, I can guess that from the stories I’ve heard. But if they’re true, why does Green keep going back for more?”

“I truly think it’s because he wants to save her.”

“Save her?”

“From herself, Poppy. From herself.”

“Dumbass,” I mutter, her words not making me feel the least bit better.

“Well, I didn’t say my boy was the brightest bulb at the light factory, that’s for sure. I think, however, he will wake up. Especially when he sees what he’s given up.”

“I’m nobody,” I whisper, the words hurting more because Green was making it so I was beginning to believe that maybe I could be more.

“And we both know that’s a bald-faced lie.”

“It doesn’t matter, Ida Sue. I’m not going to be here waiting for Green to wake up. I can’t.”

“And you shouldn’t. You have to take care of yourself and your life. Which sadly, my little dumplin’, may not include Green.”

“Yeah,” I whisper, my heart squeezing in my chest.

“Poppy, I hate to keep adding bad on top of bad, but we need to talk about Russ and what I found out earlier today.” Her voice so tender that immediately I’m on alert.

“What is it?” I ask, unable to fully keep the panic out of my voice.

“The doctor we’ve been getting Russ’s diabetic supplies through contacted Child Services.”

“Why would she do that?” I screech, panic filling me, all thoughts of Green leaving me immediately. I don’t have time to mope

“I’m not sure, Poppy. I gave her a piece of my mind, but it’s too late, the damage is done.”

“What can I do?”

“I’m afraid nothing. I don’t think you’d have trouble getting custody of Russ.”

“That’s awesome!” I cry.

“If you were married,” Ida Sue adds, and I hold my head down. Even if there was someone I could marry, it wouldn’t work.

“So, you’re saying it’s hopeless.”

“Not necessarily. There’s this deputy I’d like to introduce you to—”

“Ida Sue, no offense, but I think I’m in love with your idiot son. The last thing I need to do is try to date someone else.”

“Jealousy might get Green’s head out of his ass,” she suggests.

“It’s too late for that,” I assure her, hoping I’m right, but wishing Green would beg me to forgive him. Then, I remember the way they stood so close together and realize that it’s highly unlikely he’d ever ask for another chance.

“Well, in that case, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

“I don’t think I know what that means,” I confess.

“It means, that there is an alternative plan for Russ. It’s not ideal, but it could work.” I try to tap down the hope inside of me, but I fail. I want to make sure Russ is safe.

“Tell me,” I beg, and she squeezes my hand reassuringly and then begins to tell me her solution.

In the meantime, I push Green out of my mind.

If only I could do the same with my heart…

67

Green

One Week Later

ONE WEEK. One long torturous week.

That’s how long it’s been since I’ve held Kage in my arms. Memories of my fingers deep inside of her as she came are now memories that haunt me daily.

“You’re looking a bit frustrated, Green,” Black laughs, making me flip him off.

“You have no idea,” I mutter, flopping down in the chair opposite of my brother. I stopped by to see him at the police department today because Kage blew me off yet again. Something about running errands for my mother. I’m starting to think she’s dodging me as much as my mother is trying to fuck with my love life—or lack thereof.

“Addie’s told me that the last couple of dates you’ve had planned with Kage have been interrupted.”

“Yeah. I swear, at first Mom was dying to find Kage a man, and when I step up to the plate to fill that position, she won’t even give me time to get to first base.”

“Have you asked her what she’s doing? Mom can be sneaky for sure, but she’s also direct when you corner her.”

“Like I get the chance to corner her. I’ve been back at my house and in meetings a lot, and then, I get ready to come back home, only to find my girl keeps putting me off. She’s either working or has plans…with my mother.”

“Your girl,” Black says, as if he’s tasting the words. “Does this mean you’re finally free of Cynthia and her bullshit?” he asks, and he sounds so surprised that I have to resist the urge to deck him.

“I know I’ve been an idiot for a while, but I wouldn’t have pursued Kage if I wasn’t sure. I’m aware Mom has practically adopted her, and that Addie and the others view her as family. I’m not a complete moron, Black, you could give me a little credit.” I sound a mixture of annoyed and pissed, which is exactly how I’m feeling.

“You will have to forgive us for being skeptical, Green. Cynthia had a grip on you most of your life.”

“It ended before I met Kage. Even if the rest of you doubt me,” I sigh, getting damn tired of the cross examination.

“Green—”

“Black it ended before I let her back in. I felt sorry for her. It was a mistake, I knew it even as I said yes, but she was desperate and fuck… I was tired. I’m not like you, or fuck even White, any of you, man.”

“What does that mean?”

“You knew good women, you had relationships. I’ve always wanted that one single relationship. I didn’t want woman after woman—”

“Do me a favor, never give this speech in front of Addie,” Black says rubbing the side of his face.

Fuck if that doesn’t make me give out a small laugh, even when I don’t feel like it.

“The point is I’ve slept with three women in my life, and only two of those while sober.”

“Damn, the way you talked, and the boys on the team....” Black shrugs, and since I don’t know what to say either, we sit there in silence for a few minutes.

“I fell in love with Cynthia so fucking young. Hell, I thought I knew everything back then.”

“You were a cocky S.O.B.,” Black laughs.

“Don’t want to burst your bubble brother, but we all were.” He shrugs but doesn’t bother arguing. “The point is, when Cynthia fucked me over hardly anyone knew how hooked I was on her.”

“We always suspected she popped your cherry,” Black says with a smirk and I flip him off. I refuse to blush, even if that’s true.

“Next, I ran head-first into trouble with Marissa.”

“You mean dick first.”

“If you keep it up, I’m not about to explain this shit.”

“Sorry, Green. It just came so easy. I get this bullshit is hard for you, I do.”

“It is. No man wants to admit what a fucking loser he is, or what mistakes he’s made in life,” I mumble. “I never loved Marissa, but I made a commitment to her because she got pregnant.”

“Damn brother, we all thought you were crazy over her.”

“All a show, for the most part. I tried. Hell, I tried with everything in me. I was determined that my son would have a good, stable family. He would always know his old man loved him. I knew Marissa and I were different, but fuck I never knew she’d go completely off the wall once she got my ring on her finger.”

“And your balls in a noose,” Black jokes. He’s not wrong.

“After the divorce, I felt like the biggest failure. Falling back in with Cynthia… It was natural.”

“Not to mention a mistake.”

“Yeah. The thing is, she could be funny and a different person when she’s not drinking.”

“Drinking doesn’t give her an excuse for the hell she put you through, Green.”

“No, but addiction changes people. It turns them into someone you can’t even recognize.”

“Or maybe it brings out the weaknesses they already had and amplifies them.”

“Maybe it’s a little of both,” I concede.

“How’s she doing now?”

“She showed up in Mason and called me. Like an idiot I left immediately to go to her.”

“Green, I love you. You’re my brother, but—”

“Relax. It’s over. It was over before. I regretted it instantly, even back then. Some mistakes have to be made before you can see them clearly,” I mumble lamely. “I only met her to make sure she left Mason and stayed away from my family and away from Kage.”

“Fuck. Cynthia isn’t one to listen to advice, Green.”

“She will this. If she doesn’t, she’ll end up in jail.”

“What do you know that I don’t?” Black asks.

I let out a frustrated breath and then tell him about Cynthia and the trouble she got into. I leave nothing out, including how I paid ten thousand to have a little control. When I’m finished, Black lets out a very long whistle.

“Does Mom know about Cynthia and rehab? Or the fact she was in town?”

“I never told her, but White knows, so it’s possible,” I admit. As thick as those two have been about me dating, I admit it’s more than likely she does. I frown, thinking about what this could mean exactly.

“Then, there’s your answer.”

“Fuck,” I hiss, knowing Black is probably right. “That means Kage knows.”

“I’d feel comfortable saying Kage at least knows about Cynthia being in town,” Black says. “I mean, she is dodging you, and turning down dates, right?”

“Yeah,” I mumble, and I curse under my breath. “I thought she was pissed because I left our date early and then had to go immediately out of town to meet with the GM of our team for an emergency meeting. Motherfucker,” I groan, rubbing my face in my hands.

“Green?”

“Yeah?”

“I can only speak as a man who is happily married to a good woman, but if you care for Kage, then you need to lock it down.”

“Lock it down?”

“Her down, whatever. The point is, good women don’t pop into your life often. You and Kage got a rough start, but if you truly want her, don’t give another man a shot at her.”

“What do you know that you aren’t telling me?” I ask Black, my eyes narrowed in on him.

“Do you know John Reeves?”

“Yeah, of course. We all grew up together. He works with you and Luka, right?”

“That’s the one. He met Kage a week ago and…”

“What?” I state, anger rising up inside of me the likes I’ve never felt before.

“I think Mom’s interviewing him as a possible husband for Kage—”

“What the fuck? That woman has gone too far. What is her obsession with everyone getting married? Jesus Christ, Kage is barely twenty. Getting married is the last thing that should be on her mind, not to mention her and I are dating.”

“You haven’t been lately—”

“I can’t seem to have more because of my mother!”

“Or because you were an idiot and chased after Cynthia yet again,” Black says.

“To get rid of her!” I exclaim.

“Kage doesn’t know that,” he points out.

“I’ve had enough of this. Kage and I are going to have this shit out now,” I announce, kicking my chair out and getting up.

“Green maybe you should hear everything to under—”

I ignore him, not prepared to hear anything else, because I’ve already slammed the door. It’s time Kage and I hash all of this out.

Once and for all.

68

Black

Fuck, I hope I didn’t make things worse. I pick up the phone and dial Mom’s.

“Well, if it’s not my favorite boy.”

“You say that to all of your kids,” I laugh, reminding her of what we both know.

“Not today. Today Blue is being an asshole to my Meadow, so you get to at least be my favorite son—twin edition, at least. What’s up?”

“Green may be on his way over.”

“You don’t need to worry. I have Kage running errands, although she’s going to have to face him sooner or later. She’s running out of ways to avoid him—”

“I may have warned him about Reeves and your matchmaking, Mom.”

“Well, hell’s bells, what in damnation did you do that for?”

“He likes Kage, Mom. I think a lot. He needed to know.”

“Bull hockey.”

“I’m serious, he told me he’s completely done with Cynthia, and I believe him.”

“Does he know why I’m playing matchmaker?”

“He ran out before we got that far,” I admit.

“So, you’re leaving it all for me to deal with?”

“Technically you’re the one that created this hornet’s nest,” I remind her.

“And you had to put a damn stick in it and stir it all up.”

“Love you, Mom,” I tell her, smiling, because I know she’s pissed, but I can’t help it. She’s the most amazing woman I think God must have put on the face of the earth. My Addie is right there with her. I’m a lucky man.

“I love you, too, but I think you should know that after this bullshit, Gray is my favorite. He doesn’t cause his poor sainted mother to get more gray hairs,” she huffs and then hangs up.

I lay the receiver of my desk phone back in the base and do it while grinning.

“What’s that smile for, Black?”

I look up to see Addie come in the door. Immediately my body reacts. I think if I live to be a hundred, it will always happen. I push out from my desk, I would get up, but Addie is already in front of me, climbing in my lap and my arms are full of her. I squeeze her to me and kiss her. The kiss goes slow, exploring each other and taking our time. When we break apart, she’s licking her lips and looking at me with dilated eyes. She wiggles her sweet little ass against my lap, teasing my hard cock.

“Happy to see me?” she murmurs.

“Always, sweetheart,” I reply, kissing along the side of her neck.

“What did you do to torture your brother?” she asks, angling her neck sideways to give me room to continue kissing on it.

I freeze mid kiss.

“What do you mean?” I ask, doing my best to sound innocent, but since I’ve never been innocent and I’m sure as hell aren’t right now.

“Black,” Addie replies, her body stiffening.

“Addie I can explain.”

“I can’t believe you,” she says with a disappointed sigh.

“Dang it, he’s my brother. He deserves to know.”

“Kage doesn’t have time for him to figure out how he feels about her, Black—or more importantly how he feels about Cynthia.”

“I think he knows.”

“You do?” she asks, sounding hopeful.

I nod yes, even as I worry that I’m getting her hopes up for nothing. “I think so.

“And what about Cynthia waltzing back into the picture?”

“He said he met with her and told her to stay away from him and Kage. I think that’s what he really wants.”

“It may be what he wants, but that doesn’t mean Cynthia will listen, Black.”

I sigh.

“He deserves a shot, Addie. He cares about Kage and you know she does him.”

“She does, but he left their date to go see that woman. Then, he disappeared—”

“He was out of town,” I grumble, trying to defend my brother. I don’t fully know what’s going on in his head. “He’s leaving the career he’s had his whole life. It’s not easy, Addie.”

“He could still make a better effort, Black.”

“In his defense, Kage keeps canceling the dates,” I remind her, grasping at straws.

“In Kage’s defense, it’s time Green tries to earn her attention.”

“Are we going to fight over my brother and his girlfriend?”

“She’s not his girlfriend, at least not yet, and if he can’t step up to the plate, then—”

“I still say Kage should give him a chance to do that,” I mutter.

“I wouldn’t. Why would she?”

“I don’t want to fight with you, Addie.”

She stares at me, frowning and then sighs.

“I don’t want to fight with you either.”

“Whatever happens between Green and Kage is between them. I gave Green a small heads-up, not all of it,” I defend, leaving out the part where Green left without hearing the whole story. “What he does with that, is on him. Deal?”

“Deal. I hope he doesn’t fuck this up,” she mumbles, leaning back against me, her back to my chest, her head nestled against my neck. I kiss the top of her head and let my chin rest on the top of her head. We stare out across the empty room, lost in our thoughts.

“Me too, sweetheart, me too,” I murmur, praying Green doesn’t do something that will mess up his shot at a good woman.

69

Kage

I hold my head down and sigh when I hear the pounding on the door. I pinch the bridge of my nose, the migraine that’s trying to form is dull, but definitely making itself known. I grab my purse and walk from my bedroom to the door. I have no doubt it’s Ida Sue because she’s called me three times to rush me up. I tried to tell her I’d move quicker if she’d quit calling.

“I told you Ida Sue, I’m leaving. I’m moving slow,” I call out as I walk to the door. “But I’ll be gone way before Green shows up—”

“I guess you were wrong,” Green says when I open the door.

Shit.

“You need to go.” I try to push the door closed, but Green puts his foot in the doorway and doesn’t let me.

“We’re going to have this out, Kage. I’ve been letting you get over whatever crap is going on in your head, but I can see that’s been a mistake.”

My breath seizes in my chest and anger slowly explodes inside of me. It feels as if it spreads through my blood, heating my entire body.

I want to kill him.

“You were letting me get over crap in my head?”

“That’s what I said, baby. Now, open the door so I can come in and we can hash this out.”

“If you step foot inside this door, the only thing we are going to hash out is me killing you.”

“I’ll take my chances,” he mumbles, pushing his way inside.

It feels like my head might explode. I’m so angry that I could scream—my body is shaking with fury. “You have a lot of nerve,” I bite out through clenched teeth.

“Because I’m here calling you on your shit? You had to know I would.”

“My shit? That’s rich,” Getting more pissed with every word he says.

“What else would you call it. Did you think I would let you push me away this easily, Kage? We started something here. You don’t get to walk away from that.”

“I don’t get to walk away.”

“That’s right.”

“I don’t get to walk away?” I ask again, my voice louder.

“Damn straight. Now we’re going to have this—”

His sentence ends on a large exhale of breath as I swing my heavy purse and hit him in the gut with it. Green’s body is so toned, he has a six-pack of abs and there’s not an ounce of flab. I’m sure it doesn’t hurt him, but I keep swinging anyway, because he’s an asshole.

“I don’t get to walk away!” I scream at him, swinging my purse again. I advance on him and Green takes a step back as I swing my purse again. “I don’t get to walk away!” I yell again, and again I swing my purse, wishing it was full of bricks at this point.

“Damn it, Kage—” he growls yanking the purse out of my hands.

“Damn it, Green! You need to leave!”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“No, because you already did.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, that it’s not about if I get to walk away. You already did that when we finally had a night together and your hands were under my clothes, your tongue in my mouth—”

“Kage,” he says, and I know he understands what I’m about to say, but I don’t care. I’m going to say it anyway and then I’m going to tell him to go to hell.

“You made all these declarations how you were in this for the long haul, how you felt things for me—”

“Damn it, I did. I do, baby.”

“And yet you still left me for her.”

“I didn’t leave you for her, not like the way you’re making it sound.”

“We were going at it hot and heavy and the minute the phone rang, you disconnected.”

“Kage, damn it, it wasn’t like that!”

“It was exactly like that! I was warned, you know. I just didn’t freaking listen!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Everyone, everyone, said that you were too big of a risk. They told me to guard my heart, but did I listen? Did I?”

“Your heart?”

“Of course, I didn’t. I went right ahead and kept falling in love with you. What kind of person does that? You’d already hurt me, I should have been more cautious, but I wasn’t.

“You love me, Kage?”

“I did! And you left me. You stopped everything we were doing—which by the way sucked. A real man never takes a woman to the edge and fails to finish.”

“I’m sorry baby, but I needed—”

“You needed to leave me and run to her, the woman you love. The woman you will always love.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Kage. I love you, baby.”

“The night you left you lost that right.”

“Kage…”

“I don’t believe you now. Everything out of your mouth feels like a lie.”

“But, it’s not. I had to go when she called.”

“So, you could save her again,” Kage mutters.

“I see people have been talking to you.”

I shrug, because really there’s nothing to say to that. My anger is dying down, however. Now, I need him gone. It hurts to see him.

“I didn’t leave to try and save her, Kage. I left to make sure she didn’t do anything to hurt you.”

“You needn’t have worried. You took care of that all on your own.”

“Damn it, Kage. I know I earned this shit, but I’m sick of everyone thinking I would go back to Cynthia.”

“Gee, Green, don’t you think they think that because you always do?”

“Not this time!” he barks, frustrated. He moves his hand through his hair, ruffling it up and I sigh. He’s not the only one frustrated, but he is the one drawing this out.

“Go, Green. There’s nothing we have left to say to each other.”

“Baby, I didn’t leave you to run to her.”

“Why do you keep lying? I followed you! I saw you!”

“You followed me?”

“Yes! So, there’s no point in you lying. I saw the two of you together. I know you left me to go to her and I saw the way you two…”

“The way we what? Fought? Because, I swear to you, Kage, that’s all we did!”

“It didn’t look like you were fighting. You were holding her hand against your face.”

“Jesus, you watched everything. Then why in the hell didn’t you come over?”

“Because it was painful enough seeing it from a distance. I didn’t want to see it up close!”

“Well you should have!”

“If there was really nothing between the two of you, then you should have taken me. Or better yet? You should have told her to go to hell, hung up and finished what we had started!”

“Are you more upset that I left to deal with Cynthia or because I didn’t get you off?” he huffs, and I snap.

I slap him hard across the side of his face, without thinking. My eyes dilate as I realize it, and I take a step away, my breath shuddering through me.

“Leave,” I whisper.

“Okay, that was a stupid thing to say,” Green says, rubbing the side of his face.

“Leave. We don’t have anything else to say to each other.”

“I think we have a lot to say. I love you, Kage and I think you love me.”

“You love me until Cynthia needs you again. What happens if a year or so down the road she calls and begs you to come to her? Where does that leave me? I can’t trust you, Green.”

“The only thing you’ve said that I can agree with is that you see us together years down the road,” he proclaims, taking a step toward me.

“Please leave, Green. I’m sure Cynthia called for a reason. Go back to her. It’s clear the two of you belong—”

The rest of my words are cut off as Green slams his mouth down on mine. I keep my mouth closed, not letting him slide his tongue inside. I know if I do, there’s no way I’ll be able to hold out. Green’s hand comes up to the side of my face, his thumb stroking under my chin. It feels nice, so does the pressure of his lips, but I don’t weaken.

“Open up for me, Kage. Give me your lips.”

“No…”

I only meant to deny him, but in doing that, it allows Green entry and he takes advantage. His tongue thrusting inside, wrapping around mine. His groan vibrates against my lips. I can feel his hunger as if it were a real thing. Despite my resolve to remain detached, I feel my knees weaken and that familiar heat spread through me. I hold out as long as I can and then I give in, kissing him back and losing myself in the pleasure that only he can create.

70

Green

Christ, it feels like years since I’ve had Kage’s mouth. I’ve ached from missing her so much. If I hadn’t been forced to go back for an emergency meeting with my team and the GM to sign documents and finalize leaving, not to mention subletting my home in Corpus Christi, I would have had this out with her sooner.

I was stupid to leave without discussing all of this with her. I assumed she wouldn’t know about me meeting with my ex. I had hoped that Kage and I could discuss everything when I got back. In the back of my mind, I knew bringing Cynthia up wouldn’t go well and I wanted to put it off. That was my mistake.

“We have to stop,” Kage mutters, putting her hands against my arms.

“You don’t want that, Kage. I don’t want that. I know I let you down again baby—”

“Green, please stop.”

“I can’t, Kage. You’re my future, I need to make you believe that.”

“Why?”

“Because, you’re what I’ve been searching for my entire life.”

“This isn’t all about you, Green.”

“No, baby, but it’s about us and if you’re honest with yourself, you know that you want me as much as I want you.”

“I’m not the one with an ex—”

“I’m sorry I hurt you, Kage. I swear to fuck I am. But I swear to you with everything I am, I met Cynthia that night for one reason and one reason only. I wanted to tell her to leave me alone and to stay away from you and my family.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Why would she come around me? I don’t even know her.”

“Because Cynthia is territorial, and I made it clear that you are the only woman I want in my bed. The few times in the past that I tried to date and move on, she made things impossible. I didn’t want her poison touching you.”

“I shouldn’t… but…”

“Shouldn’t what, Kage?”

“I shouldn’t believe you, but I really want to.”

“If you give me a chance, Kage, I’ll bust my ass to make sure you never have a reason to question how I feel about you.”

She doesn’t answer and I see the uncertainty on her face. I make the decision to give her lesson one on how I feel about her.

“What are you doing?” she gasps when I pick her up in my arms.

“Taking you to bed and showing you that you belong to me and I belong to you.”

I stare into her eyes, wanting her to see the truth, needing her to believe me—believe in me.

“Take me to Russ’s room. His bed is bigger,” she orders and with those few words, I feel free. I have a long road to mend her trust in me, but I will do that every chance I get.

Getting her to the bedroom was a blur. I’m pretty sure I hit the wall a few times, but luckily, I shielded Kage from suffering the same fate. I kept kissing her, unable to stop. When we get to the room, I instantly regret not planning this so I could take her to my bed. Kage deserves roses, candles and someone to love her slow. She needs that now.

“What are you thinking?” she asks, looking into my eyes and not blinking, she asks as I let her slide to the floor to stand.

“That you deserve a better man, one who can be gentle and show you how special you truly are.”

“Is that what you’re going to give me?” she asks so quietly that I have to strain to hear her.

“If that’s what you want, I will kill myself to give it to you,” I admit.

“The first night we were together, you weren’t gentle,” she says, looking at my face like she’s searching for something.

“Another failure I’ve made with you.” I sigh. “You were a virgin. You deserved gentleness.”

“Maybe,” she answers with a shrug.

“There’s no maybe about that, baby.”

“Maybe I didn’t want gentle, Green. When I agreed to go to your hotel room, you’d already told me everything you planned to do to me and none of it sounded gentle.”

“And you came with me anyway.”

“I wanted everything you promised,” she responds boldly. She takes a step into me and it takes all I have to stand there and not take over.

“I hope like fuck I at least delivered that, Kage.”

“Oh yeah,” she says with a satisfied grin that is reflected in her gorgeous eyes. I reach out, let my finger move along the side of her face, unable to believe that she’s mine and thanking my lucky stars that I didn’t lose her.

“What do you want now, beautiful?”

“You. The you I got the night we met. The you in the movie theater. The you that made the world disappear for me. That’s what I want. Can you give me that, Green?”

“I’ll give you anything you fucking want, Kage,” I vow, and I’m not talking about right now. I have no idea if she knows that, but I’ll prove it eventually.

“Prove it,” she says, daring me and looking rather pleased with herself. I close my eyes, taking a small space in time to enjoy the surge of satisfaction that fills me. When I open my eyes again, it’s to see the woman of my dreams staring back at me. My hand drops down from her precious face and I take a step back.

“You like tempting the devil don’t you, baby?”

In response she licks her lips.

“Strip,” I order.

“What about you?” she questions.

“Now’s not the time to ask me questions, Kage. Take your clothes off, now.”

I don’t miss the way her body trembles. It’s as if she’s moving in slow motion as she grabs the bottom of her shirt in her fingers and then pulls it over her head. She drops it, letting it fall to the floor. She takes the rest of her clothes off, our gazes never leaving one another. My dick feels so fucking heavy it’s painful. I need inside of her. Once she’s naked, I rip my shirt off over my head, tossing it away, step out of my shoes and then the rest of my clothes quickly follow. I don’t make a show of it. I’m too hungry for her.

“Turn around and lean over the bed for me, baby,” I order. I take my dick into my hand and stroke my cock, so full and hard that it’s a sweet pain. I squeeze my head tight, groaning as cum slips out, coating the head. I could go off so easily, but I hold it back.

Before tonight is done, Kage won’t have any doubt who she belongs to. And she will know that she is the only woman I want.

71

Kage

I put everything behind me. I’m still not completely sure, but I know that I love Green. I want him and whatever comes, I won’t be happy unless I take my chances with him. I lick my lips as I watch him stroking his cock. I want to beg him to let me taste him, not stopping until I make him come. I want on my knees in front of him, pleasuring him and making him lose control. Instead, I turn around like he ordered. I bend over the bed, stretching over it, part of the way, my fingers grasping the cover as I wait. Anticipation is flooding through me.

“Such a good girl,” he purrs.

His footsteps seem unnaturally loud as he walks over behind me. Each echoing sound sends awareness through me. Gooseflesh rises over my skin, my heartrate intensifies. I jump slightly when I feel his hand move over my ass. His hand is warm and rough against my cool skin, making me whimper at how delicious it feels. His fingers dance perilously close between my cheeks and I thrust out without thought, helpless, because I want him to touch me there. I want him to touch me everywhere, and in every way that I can get him too. The tips of his fingers brush me in that secret little crease, not coming close to where I need him.

“Green,” I moan, turning my head to the side, and rocking my ass towards him, silently begging for what I can’t find words to demand. My nipples are hard, and I rock them against the cotton sheets below me, my entire body quivering, needing more than Green is giving me right now.

“My pretty girl, so primed and ready. Do you need me, baby?” he croons above me. His voice dark and hungry, it rumbles in a way that feels like a physical touch.

“God, yes,” I whimper, thrusting back against him shamelessly. I cry out as his hand connects with my ass, sending this heat though me that makes my knees weak.

“Stretch those legs out for me, Kage. Make room for me.”

I do it immediately. I know he’s toying with me, but I’ll do anything he asks—as long as he doesn’t stop.

I feel his body move behind me. His powerful legs pressing against mine. His hand moves over my ass. I gasp when he grabs a cheek, squeezing it tightly in his possessive hand, releasing and then doing it again. I grind my breasts harder against the bed, thrusting my ass against him, needing more. His fingers dive between my ass cheeks, finding the wetness there. He moans as his fingers breach the small entrance there. My entire body quickens, my back bowing as hunger licks at my body.

“So fucking wet,” he groans. His large hand stretches and shifts so his thumb is pressing into my ass while his fingers move between the lips of my pussy. “Do you need my dick, Kage?”

My eyes close as my entire body quakes. I’m so close to coming that I feel it beginning to take hold. I try to will it away, wanting this to last longer, needing it to completely take me over. I feel his hand cup my pussy, squeezing it tight.

“Yes,” I whimper.

“You like that, Kage?” he demands from behind. I feel his fingers move against my clit, teasing my pussy, toying with me. He fucks me with his fingers, making a come-hither motion that has me thrusting back against him, silently begging for his cock. I squeeze the muscles of my pussy trying to get the friction I need. I’m so wet that my thighs are painted with my juices, but with his fingers torturing me, a new surge of wetness flows out covering his fingers. “Oh yeah, you like that,” he praises, continuing to torture my clit.

“Green, I need more. I need…”

“I’ll give you exactly what you need, baby. I’m always going to give you what you need. You know that, right? All you have to do is tell me exactly what you need and I’m always going to give it to you.” His voice is commanding, dark, and my heart beats faster and faster.

I look over my shoulder, needing to see him. I can’t see, but I hear him stroking his cock, I know he’s covering his shaft in my cum.

“Fuck me,” I demand, unable to hold back any longer.

“Oh, I’m going to fuck you,” he replies, but he’s taking too long.

I move my hand down, flattening my fingers out as I grind them against my aching clit. Crying out as the pleasure hits me. Green slaps his hand down against my ass, hard. I exhale from the sting of pain, but I don’t stop working my clit. I’m too desperate, too needy.

Then, without warning he thrusts deep inside of my pussy, stealing my breath. I cry out as he stretches me. His hand grabs my shoulder and the other my side as he pulls my body exactly the way he wants me as he feeds me his cock.

The sounds of our bodies slapping together echoes in the room, mingling with our breathing and my gasps and moans of pleasure. I completely lose myself in how good it feels. His cock pounding in and out of me, his bruising hold guiding me exactly how he wants me, fucking me hard.

“That’s it, baby, take my cock,” he croons, his hold constricting on me as he pulls me back into him and then thrusts back into me so deeply that it takes my breath.

Our bodies move in a filthy rhythm that moves in time with the viscous beating of my heart.

“I’m going to come, Green,” I cry, feeling it barrel through me, heat zapping along my spine, my muscles tightening as I prepare.

“Work that pussy, Kage. Work it and give it all to me,” he growls.

I do exactly as he says, not sure I could stop even if I wanted to, and I definitely don’t. I try to hold it back, but it’s impossible. I cry out his name as I come, the orgasm so intense that it feels like it might tear me apart. When I can’t take anymore, the upper half of my body completely collapses against the mattress, my arms flung out as I gasp for breath, my heart rapidly beating. Green slides out of me and I cry from the loss, not wanting to lose him, even as my body is trying to come down after my climax.

“I want you to come inside of me,” I whimper, knowing he hasn’t, needing that from him. He turns me over, my breasts swaying from the quick moment. He pushes my legs up so that my knees bend and looks down at me. His eyes are intense, dark and full of need. His face tight as he smiles.

“You’ll get it, baby. But not until I have more of you.”

With that promise he goes down, his mouth pressing against me, his tongue sliding between my lips, skating over the tender flesh and my sensitive clit. He groans against me, his mouth full of my pussy, as he licks my come, eating me out until my body begins quaking and I come so hard that I think I might lose consciousness. I literally squawk, trying to pull away, unsure I can take anymore. Green holds me by my thighs, pinning me against the bed, completely open to him, leaving me unable to do anything but take what he gives me. He hums against my clit as I come. My nails bite into his scalp as I hold onto him.

When he finally stops, my body feels completely limp. I watch with hooded eyes as he stands, looking down at me licking his lips first, then his fingers.

“You’re mine, Kage. Admit it.”

“I’m yours,” I respond, my voice faint, but giving him the words he needs.

They’re completely true. I am his. Whatever happens, my body belongs to Green. My heart belongs to him. Nothing can change that.

“You belong to me,” he growls, sounding almost desperate as he voices exactly what I’m thinking. He thrusts back in my quaking pussy that is so tender his invasion is almost painful. “Give me the words, Kage. Give me the words, baby.”

I look at his face, confused. I’ve already told him that I belong to him. Then, as if merely looking at his face gives me understanding, I know exactly what he wants.

I lick my lips, trying to find my voice.

“I love you, Green.”

His voice comes out in what sounds like a victory cry and thrusts inside of me, once, twice, three times… Over and over, harder each time, before I feel his warm jet of cum slide inside of me, filling me. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but I feel another climax hurtling through me.

72

Kage

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Green whispers, pressing a kiss against my temple and holding me to his warm body.

I smile at his actions. Last night was perfection. After the first time we were together, we moved to the shower, and Green made love to me so gently that it brought tears to my eyes. I love him, and I feel like he loves me, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared.

“Yeah, just thinking about everything,” I assure him. I snuggle into him, curling my body so that my head is nestled under his chin. I kiss his chest, letting my hands go around him.

“Please don’t tell me you’re having regrets. I swear, Kage, I’m willing to work. One day you’ll know—”

“Stop, it’s not that. I mean, I’m still worried. It feels like we went zero to sixty in our relationship. Not to mention, we started out in a way that should have doomed us from the start,” I laugh, although I’m not sure there’s a lot of humor involved.

“I’m an idiot.”

“Sometimes,” I grin, kissing his chest again. “But I didn’t exactly help matters with what I did. Plus, my past isn’t exactly…”

“Kage, stop.”

“It’s true, Green. I’m not the kind of woman guys like you end up with.”

“Beautiful?” he asks, pulling away, raising up on his elbow to look down at me.

“I’m not—”

“You’re the most fucking beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life.”

“Green.” I let out a sigh with his name.

“I’m serious, Kage. You’re gorgeous.” He turns so he’s on his side, his gaze still centered on me. He takes my hand and guides it down to his cock, stretching my fingers around his shaft, putting his hand over mine. “I made love to you, Kage.”

“I remember, especially since I was there,” I respond, my hand gently squeezing his cock, because I can’t stop myself.

“We made love and you drained me dry.” His voice takes on a sexy, rumbly, quality that I swear I can feel vibrate inside of me. “There should be no way humanly possible that I’m ready to go again, but here I am hard as a damn rock. You may not think you’re gorgeous, but my body and I think you are and clearly I’m a better judge.”

“You’re insane,” I whisper, but his words do mean something. They definitely soothe me.

“I’m crazy over you, baby,” he murmurs, his face dropping down to kiss me. I take his kiss gratefully, feeling a little better.

“That was a lame line,” I murmur smiling and looking into his dark eyes.

“It wasn’t a line,” he denies as he rearranges himself and settles back down beside me, holding me close. His fingers, brushing softly against my arm, as I keep my head on his chest so that I can hear his heart beating reassuringly in my ear. “Now, what else is going on in that pretty head of yours, Kage?”

“It’s not important.”

“Kage, we’re never going to get to where we need to be if we keep shutting the other person out. I learned my lesson when it came to Cynthia. I thought I was protecting you, instead I nearly lost you. I want you to talk to me. I need you to.”

I sigh, knowing he’s right, but also wondering if we’re at the stage where I can share things with him. After the Cynthia thing, I’m more than a little gun shy.

“Green—”

“Is this about the guy you’ve been seeing?”

“What?”

“Reeves. Black told me about him. If you think I’m about to let you leave me for him, you better think again, Kage. Whatever you have going with him, it stops now. I’ve claimed your body and I’m not going to stop until I claim your heart too.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I know you’re used to women like Cynthia, but I’m not like her, Green.”

“You don’t fucking think I understand that? Why do you think I’m here? Have you not been listening to anything I told you?”

“Are we fighting?” I ask, seeing the anger on his face and wondering if a girl can get whiplash from trying to figure him out.

“Not yet, unless you tell me you’re going to continue to see Reeves.”

“I haven’t gone out with him!” I say, exasperated.

“Black said Mom had been fixing you up.”

“She mentioned it, but I told her no.”

“And if you think for a minute that I’m not going to give her a piece of my mind—”

“Green—”

“Don’t try to talk me out of it, Kage. I’ve had enough.”

“I told her I wouldn’t go because I was in love with her son,” I gripe.

“She’s going to learn to stay out of my—”

“What did you say?”

“I told her I was in love with you and I couldn’t contemplate marrying someone else, knowing how I felt about you.” I paraphrase.

I watch as he grins so big that it has to hurt his face. He’s already really cocky looking. So much so, that I roll my eyes.

“You told her you loved me?” I continue to give him a look. “What was her response to that?”

“That she doubted you’d get your head out of your ass and my best shot would be to talk to—”

“Two things, I have been stupid, so I’ll let that slide, but your best shot to what?’

I sigh, knowing he’s not about to let this drop. Stubbornly, I don’t really want to tell him everything.

“She wanted me to be in a committed relationship to appear settled and stable as a parent for Russ when I applied for custody,” I compromise.

“Well, I think we have that covered, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” I whisper, and silently congratulate myself for keeping my sadness off of my face. Ida Sue came up with a good plan. Russ will be happy and that’s all that matters.

Even if the pain I feel inside is nearly suffocating.

73

Green

“What’s for breakfast?” I ask, walking through the back door that leads to Mom’s kitchen, my hand securely holding Kage’s.

She looks nervous, but I think she’s slowly getting used to the fact I want her with me. The past two days we’ve been holed away inside her apartment, just the two of us. Russ has been in Dallas with Allen and they’ve been staying with White and Kayla. White’s a brave man, last time I had Allen and Calder together for a couple of days at my place, I thought I might need a drink. It’s not that they’re bad kids, but there are only so many videogame battles that a grown man should have to witness.

When we walk into the kitchen, everyone is gone except Mom and Jansen. That’s something that’s rarely happened. They’re faces look kind of long in the tooth as Mom says.

“Damn who died?” I ask when they stare at Kage and I, dumbfounded.

Mom’s gaze jerks up to my face, then to Kage’s. I watch as it slowly drops down to take in our joined hands.

“What did I miss?” Mom asks.

“Apparently, Green decided to get his head out of his ass,” Jansen says, a smile stretching leisurely across his face.

“Apparently,” Mom says, studying me closely. “Are you okay, Poppy?” she asks, and I frown. I lean against the bar, wrapping Kage in my arms, pulling her so her back is pressed against my chest, tucking her in against me. I love how she’s so curvy and tiny she fits against me perfectly and I can surround her. It’s as if I was made to hold her.

“Of course, she’s alright,” I say speaking up for Kage. “Damn, Mom, I love her. You don’t have to make it sound like I’m some serial killer.”

“No, just a dumbass who made my Poppy cry,” Mom mumbles, still watching us closely.

I frown, because I can’t deny that. I bend down to whisper in her ear, “I’m sorry baby.”

She angles her head to look at me and there’s a sadness in her eyes that bothers me. No matter how much I’ve loved on her the last two days, I haven’t succeeded in completely getting rid of that look, and I hate it. Still, she loves me, and I have time. I won’t stop until it’s gone.

Kage surprises me by stretching up to kiss me. It’s a soft, sweet kiss and I take it gratefully. It’s not passionate, it’s more of a kiss of promise. As we break apart, I suck her lip between mine, slowly releasing it and wishing I didn’t have to.

“It’s a Christmas miracle,” Mom says, her voice sounding like it’s full of wonder.

“Christmas has been over for a while, Mom,” I grumble, rolling my eyes at her dramatics.

“Sometimes Santa sends us gifts late, I guess,” she says, walking toward us. Her hand brushes gently against the side of Kage’s face and Kage gives her a sad smile. My gut clenches. Fuck, maybe I hurt her even more than I realized. A silent message seems to pass through the two women. The most important women in my life.

“I’m okay, Ida Sue, I promise.”

Slowly Mom’s gaze moves up to me.

“I’m glad you finally got your head out of your ass, boy,” she says, and I snort, shaking my head.

“Gee, thanks, Mom. That’s so sweet.”

“Only telling you the truth,” Mom replies with a shrug.

“Yeah, I know. I can leave it up to you to keep me humble.” I can’t help but be sarcastic. Sometimes I think that’s the only thing Mom will actually respond to.

“So, when are you making my Poppy an honest woman?” Mom asks, and I feel Kage tighten up in my arms.

“Ida Sue, stop,” she says, her voice firm and warning.

“What? It’s the best op—”

“We’re going slow,” she says. “This isn’t something we’re jumping into. I want to be sure it’s what we both want.”

I frown down at her. Fuck, is she trying me out?

If she thinks I’m about to let her get away now, she’s crazy.

Mom shakes her head and looks up at me with what can only be described as a look of disgust.

“Kage, I’m glad you came over. I wanted to show you these clothes I had lying around here that Calder grew out of. I think they’ll fit Russ perfectly.”

“Okay,” Kage says, disengaging from my hold.

“Does that mean no breakfast?”

“You can always fix it yourself,” Mom calls, clearly not ready to forgive me yet, either. Damn my women are stubborn. I sigh, watching them leave the room, rubbing the side of my face, scratching the stubble there. I should have shaved, but I like the way Kage moans when I rake it against the inside of her thighs.

Jansen clears his throat and I turn to look at him, and suddenly his face seems angrier than Mom’s ever has.

Well fuck.

74

Green

“What?” I ask, almost afraid of his answer.

“Why in the fuck are you dragging your feet?”

I blink. In all of my years with Jansen in this house, I can’t remember him cursing at me or my brothers and sisters like that. Suddenly, I get the feeling this is a lot more serious than I realized.

“We’re taking our time,” I reply, using Kage’s words, even if I don’t like them.

“I know you’ve always been an idiot when it came to women, but I thought if you ever got hold of a good one, things would change. I guess I was wrong.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask, walking to the table where Jansen is drinking his coffee.

“Damn it, son. You’re not getting any younger. Don’t you think it’s time you start to smarten up? You’ve wasted your whole life on women that aren’t worth a plug nickel. That little girl in there is the best thing that’s ever happened to you besides Allen.”

“You think I don’t know that, Jansen?”

“I’m not sure what you think, boy. I know you have the power to fix everything for that little girl in there, and yet for some reason, you haven’t.”

“I’m trying damn it! I didn’t mean to hurt her. That’s the last thing I wanted.”

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you ran out on her to go to Cynthia.”

“Damn it, I love Kage. I only left to make sure Cynthia didn’t get near Kage. That damn woman has found a way to touch every part of my life over the years. I had the power to stop her from touching Kage and I used it.”

Jansen looks at me, pursing his lips, but I don’t blink, I don’t look away.

“What, for Christ’s sake?” I finally growl, when he makes no sign that he’s going to speak to me.

“I’m trying to figure out if you love Kage, like you say you do—”

“Jansen—”

“Why you don’t swoop in to save the day, instead of leaving it in White’s hands.”

I start to interject, but then, decide to think about what he says. When I do that, all I’m left with is confusion.

“What are you talking about? What does White have to do with Kage?”

“Kage didn’t tell you?” Jansen asks.

“Tell me what?”

“Well now, this is a twist I didn’t see coming.”

“Jansen damn it, tell me what’s going on.”

“Well, I reckon someone should. Pull up a seat, son.”

I sit down across from him, almost afraid of what he’s going to say.

“Kage has to go to court in two weeks.”

“Court? What the fuck for? Does it have to do with the things she did to get money together in San Antonio? I can pay restitution. How in the fuck did White get involved in all of this?”

“Child Services wants to take Russ and put him in a state-run facility.”

“Fuck,” I fist my fingers in my hair to keep from punching a wall after hearing this.

“Kage and Ida Sue have hired a lawyer and petitioned the court to grant Kage custody, but a twenty-year-old with several misdemeanors on her record, not married—”

“Yeah, I get the picture, Jansen,” I mutter. I’m alternating between hurt that Kage didn’t tell me what was going on, and anger that she didn’t even after we had it out about Cynthia. I know instinctively that this is what she was holding back from me. “So, tell me, what does White have to do with any of this?”

“He’s filing a petition with the state to adopt Russ. The judge’s office has promised your mother that he’ll push the adoption through quickly.”

“Fuck. Why wouldn’t Kage tell me any of this shit?”

“I have a better question for you, Green.”

“What’s that?”

“What are you going to do about it now that you know?”

75

Kage

“You need to tell him, Poppy.”

“I can’t Ida Sue.”

“Well, why on the earth not?”

“Because,” I mutter.

“Well that makes everything clear.”

“I thought so.”

“Yep, clear as mud.”

I sigh, letting out a loud, harsh breath. “I can’t Ida Sue, surely you can see that?”

“All I can see is you’re being stupid. My boy might be a little slow—”

“Gee thanks, Mom.”

I jerk my head around to the door to see Green standing there and he might have been talking to his mother, but it’s me that he’s staring at. I can see the anger on his face.

He knows.

“You don’t know, Green House, I could have been talking about one of your brothers.”

“You could have, but you aren’t.”

Ida Sue sniffs, knowing she’s been found out. Me? I’m sitting on the bed, feeling sick to my stomach.

He knows.

“Fine. I was talking about you. Sometimes I wonder if you have any of me inside of you,” Ida Sue huffs.

“I don’t know, Lovey, I’d say he’s hard-headed like you,” Jansen says from behind Green.

“You should hush unless you want to find yourself sleepin’ single tonight, Jan.”

“I am single. You keep refusing to marry me, remember?”

“That doesn’t mean you’re single, Jan. I own that little love dart you’re packing and if you piss me off, I’ll tattoo my name on the damn thing.”

“Jesus, Mom.”

“Now, Lovey, I’d say it’s more like a love sword.”

“Christ,” Green exclaims.

“Butter knife,” Ida Sue replies, and if it didn’t feel like everything was blowing up around me, I’d laugh at the look on Jan’s face.

“Bullshit. I pack one of those samurai swords, made of the strongest steel ever made.”

“I can’t remember. You may have to prove it to me later.”

“Can you two carry this conversation in the kitchen, while I talk to my fiancé?”

“Your fiancé?” I gasp.

“Now we’re talking. Maybe you do have a little bit of me inside of you somewhere, boy,” Ida Sue says, smiling. “Does this mean you’re finally getting your head out of your ass?”

“Yeah, Mom,” Green says, sounding exasperated. “That’s what I’d like to do, if you two could go downstairs and leave us alone so I can make my woman listen to me.”

“I find they listen better if you get them naked first,” Jan supplies, helpfully. I gasp, but Ida Sue laughs.

“Considering you seem to be showing good sense, I’ll make you breakfast,” Ida Sue says, walking to the door. She pats Green on the arm and brushes past him. Green doesn’t take his eyes off of me. I try to remember to breathe as his gaze becomes more and more intense.

“Hey, Mom?”

“Yeah?” Ida Sue asks, looking over her shoulder at Green.

“Make those shakes you used to make for White and Kayla?”

Jansen laughs way too loudly. I have no idea what they’re talking about, but I’m thinking whatever it is, is not good for me.

“I can do that. Does that mean what I think it means?”

“If you think it means I’m going to be doing my talking with Kage naked like Jansen suggested, then yes.”

“That’s my boy,” Ida Sue says, practically cackling as she walks away. I don’t look at them, afraid to take my eyes off of Green. My heart is rapidly beating in my chest. My body jolts when the closing of the door seems unreasonably loud.

“Do you want to tell me why you kept this from me, Kage?” Green asks, and I have the biggest urge to run away. I look around but the only other way out is the window. Too bad we’re on the second floor.

Shit.

76

Green

“Were you going to tell me?” I ask, a muscle twitching in my jaw.

“I mean, you would have found out eventually.”

“When you and Russ skipped town?”

“No. I mean, I wouldn’t have done that,” Kage replies, wringing her hands together.

“What would you have done?” I question her.

I should be gentle with her, handling her delicately, but I’m so angry right now that I don’t have that in me. I’m angry at her for hiding something so important to me, but mostly I’m angry at myself for not being the kind of man that she would want to confide in. Once again, I wish I could go back to the night Cynthia called and take Kage with me. Maybe if she could have seen how I feel toward Cynthia, she would have felt more secure. I fucked up, but then, so did Kage. She’s going to learn that I’m her man and fucking everything that entails.

“I don’t know. It hasn’t happened yet. Russ and I talked about it. That’s why he’s in Dallas with White and Kayla now.”

“Fucking hell. I thought my brother had lost his mind giving the boys a sleepover. I really am a blind fool. Tell me Kage, were you going to be happy living your life without Russ? Letting White and Kayla raise him?”

“Of course not, but it was the best option,” she huffs, her voice uneven and she’s still not looking me in the eyes. “I wouldn’t have given him up. I would have been close by.”

“Keep your eyes on me, Kage,” I order.

Her head jerks up, her eyes dilated. “You can’t keep ordering me around,” she complains, still worrying her hands together.

“Right now, I can. Dallas and Mason aren’t extremely far apart, but I wouldn’t call them close,” I point out.

“I know. Kayla has been looking for apartments close to them. They’ve been really nice. She even apologized because they moved back to Dallas. Did you know they used to live here in Mason?”

“He’s my brother, Kage. Of course, I know. They only moved back to Dallas when White got a huge job offer to give commentary on a popular sports show.”

“I don’t blame him. The bonus he got was enough to completely pay for Calder’s college. She said they may move back to Mason soon, but for now...”

“So, let me get this straight,” I growl, getting more upset as the minutes tick by. “My girlfriend not only agreed to give up custody of her son, but she planned on moving away from Mason, too. She decided all this quickly, but had enough time to discuss my fucking brother’s job and his signing bonus for inking the deal?”

She narrows her eyes, anger sparking in her eyes. “I wasn’t your girlfriend at the time, and technically Russ isn’t my son.” The words come out as little angry puffs of air and why that should turn me on, make my dick harden, I don’t know.

But it does.

“He might as well be, that’s how you love him, and you can’t deny that. And let’s make this clear, you were always my girlfriend.”

“I wasn’t. That stopped when you left me to go to her!”

“Will you stop that shit. You make it sound like I left your bed to go jump into hers!”

“No, that couldn’t have happened,” she bites out.

“Well, at least you acknowledge that,” I sigh, getting more and more frustrated by the minute.

“You didn’t even wait until we were in bed!”

“Fuck,” I growl out loudly. “I screwed up, Kage, I get that, but I didn’t sleep with her. I didn’t want to sleep with her.”

“Green—”

“And if I was going to sleep with her, I would have fucking told you. I wouldn’t do shit behind your back. I’ve been an idiot for most of my life when it comes to women, but the reason I’ve been that way is out of fucking loyalty, as twisted as that shit sounds. I wouldn’t have done that to you. I wouldn’t have done that to any woman.”

“Green—”

“I saw firsthand how that crap hurts women and families. I know what it does and how it marks a woman. I would never fucking do that to any woman, especially one I love.”

“Green,” she breathes, and I can tell that maybe what I’m saying is getting through to her, but I don’t stop. If she wants to know how screwed up I’ve been all these years, I’ll let her have that, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to pull any punches.

“I know, Kage. I know what happens if a woman gets fucked over. I know what happens when a woman self-destructs. I have the strongest mom you could ever imagine. She never failed to be there for us kids. She would be sick as a dog with the flu and still pull her ass out of bed to make sure we were fed and had clean clothes. Hell, despite how good we have it now, there was a time in Mom’s life that it was fucking hard. Gray and White would tell me stories about how when money was tight, Mom would feed everyone first and then eat what was left—even if that meant she’d eat the crumbs off of one of her kid’s plates. I may not have been there, but I sure as hell heard them talk about it enough that it stuck in my brain.”

“Green…”

“But as strong as she was, I heard her cry at night. I heard her cry, the sobs so raw that it hurt to even hear them. Men left scars on her and the people around us kept picking at them. I swore that if I ever gave my heart to anyone, I wouldn’t be that man. That I would be there for her no matter what. I would step up to the plate and be her support, because I recognized even if my dad was better than what she had, he wasn’t always there for her when she needed him. I didn’t want to be like that. I made a vow that I would fucking make sure my woman never felt alone. I would find her even if she lost herself. I’d be the kind of man that Jansen was. I’d stick around even if she tried to push me away.”

“Green…” she repeats, but I cut her off again.

“Cynthia was everything I thought I wanted in a girl, Kage. Yeah, I was young as hell, but I took one look at her and I knew that I wanted to marry her one day.”

“Please stop,” she says, but I ignore her and keep going.

“No. You’re going to hear it all and then, we’re going to put Cynthia behind us forever. You will never throw her up to me again,” I order. Her body jerks, but she doesn’t say anything. I pray I can make her understand. “Cynthia seemed so in control, so self-assured in crowds. She was funny, could be sweet, and when she kissed me, it felt like she changed the entire world for me—like she made it sweeter, made me more alive.”

“I don’t want to hear this!” she cries.

“Too fucking bad,” I growl. She tries to walk past me, but I grab her, not letting her leave. I walk her backwards, pinning her against the wall.

“I don’t want to hear how you loved some other woman, Green. I don’t want to hear about this hold she has on you,” Kage says, tears in her eyes.

“She did have a hold on me. She sucked me in with her kiss, she gave me her body and somehow, she managed to reach inside of me and seep into my bones. I know it might hurt to hear that, Kage, because if the roles were reversed, it would kill me to hear a man got that deep in you, but it’s still true.

“Will you stop, please?” she asks, her voice cracking.

“I can’t, because you have to understand.”

“Understand what? That you love her? I got that. I got it, okay?”

“I did love her, but Cynthia twisted it all up in my head, Kage. She made loving her a habit. It was exhausting. I tried to save her over and over again. I tried to live up to every vow I made to myself. If she got drunk and partied, I’d clean up the vomit stained on her face, find her clothes and take her back home. I’d dry her tears as she apologized, and I did everything I could to be her support when she wasn’t strong enough to stand on her own—all the things I wanted to do for my mom.”

“Green—”

“She twisted the hold she had on me in so many knots I didn’t know how to untangle them. Soon the love wasn’t love. It was responsibility and I hated it. I fucking hated it, but she didn’t have anyone else. If I left her, I’d be as bad as the men in my mom’s life. I’d leave her alone, exactly like my mom was for all of those years.”

“Your mom is nothing like Cynthia, Green. Your mother would never do that to a man.”

“See how smart you are, Kage? You know what took me fucking years to learn.”

“Green, honey,” she says softly and my heart leaps in my chest, because I think I’m getting my point across. I think she’s understanding, but even then, I don’t stop. I want to give it all to her. I’ve never told anyone this shit and it’s time to let it out, to give it to the woman who owns me heart and soul, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

“Then, Cynthia tells me, she’s done. That her and Tommy are in love and she doesn’t want me anymore and fuck, Kage…all I could feel was relief. I walked away, asked Kayla out to the prom and was determined to begin living my life. It was good.

But, Cynthia started spiraling out of control. Tommy was a big partier and that only made Cynthia worse. We may have not been together anymore, but it wasn’t Tommy finding her naked in the gym showers after letting the boys on the team have their fun with her, Tommy included. It wasn’t Tommy trying to sober her up, make sure she didn’t forget her birth control pills. It wasn’t Tommy that rescued her when she was so high that she didn’t know what planet she was on,” I tell her, glossing over the details, giving her a few of the highlights, but not bothering to let her know how truly bad it all was. “That was me, and even if I knew I didn’t love her the same anymore, I didn’t know how to leave her alone while she destroyed herself. I kept trying to save her. My brothers, hell my own mother, kept calling me an idiot and I knew they were right. They’ll never understand how hard it was for me to break the cycle and try to grasp onto something that was good, but I did try, Kage.”

“Green.”

“Marissa got pregnant and I knew I didn’t love her like I needed to, but I tried. I wanted to make sure my boy had all of the things my brothers didn’t have. All of the things my own father didn’t feel was important.” I rub a frustrated hand through my hair, taking a step away from Kage. “I definitely managed to fuck that up.”

“You didn’t. Allen thinks the sun rises and sets on his dad.”

“After things blew up with Marissa and she changed so drastically, I decided I wasn’t made for relationships. I gave up the dream of having a wife, family and home. My family may have thought I kept going back to Cynthia, but I didn’t, not like that. Fuck, I’ve mostly lived like a monk. I tried to help her though, so I was still a fucking fool. This last time she promised she was changing. I knew she was in bad shape and her parents had washed their hands of her. So, I let her crash at my place. I didn’t like it, I tried to shelter my boy from her kind of crazy. I ended up letting Allen come home to Mason. I dropped him off one day and I came home to find Cynthia had moved in, but instead of sticking to her promise, she was already drinking and trying to give Parker a blowjob even though he was clearly telling her no.”

“Green.” Kage moves in closer and I look at her, feeling older than I am, and definitely so tired my damn bones ache. “I get it. You can stop now.”

“I can’t. You need to hear the rest of it.”

I watch as she swallows, her eyes looking in mine and thankfully there aren’t tears in them anymore, but there is emotion.

“Fine, tell me,” she exhales. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think I see understanding written on her face and it helps me breathe past the memories, the pain and the self-loathing of my past.

“I kicked her out, and I didn’t even care. I felt free, because I knew without a doubt that I was done. But I came into the team’s gym for PT on my shoulder and Parker and the others were there, talking about Cynthia and me. A couple of the guys were ribbing Parker saying he should have tried Cynthia out, because she had to have some kind of magical snatch to make a man lose his mind the way I had. I heard their laughter and it burned. So, I skipped PT, took those big ass pain pills the doctor gave me and then proceeded to get drunk off my ass…”

“And found me.”

“And found you,” I confirm. “The best thing that ever happened to me,” I tell her softly, curling my hand against the side of her face. “The very best thing, by the way. Yet, I even managed to fuck that up because I can’t remember but bits and pieces of it.”

“It was really good,” she says, and I smile, though it’s a smile that has more sadness than joy.

“What we did haunted me. I could remember the sound of your voice, parts of the night, but never all of it. I began to think you were a fantasy that I created. I didn’t care, because when Cynthia called again, I felt nothing. I felt more for the flashes of you in my mind than I did her. Yeah, I helped her get into rehab and I even kept her from getting arrested, but that last part I did for me. I felt free and I knew I wanted to find a real relationship and if I managed to do it, I wanted a way to make sure Cynthia stayed far away, so she couldn’t ruin it. I love you Kage. I mean really love, in a good, healthy way that I’ve never had in my life.”

“I love you, too, Green.”

“Yet, despite how we met, despite the things that brought us to this point, I love you, and yet I still managed to fuck it up so much that you couldn’t share this with me. Do you have any idea how that tears at me? How it hurts me?”

“I think I do…now.”

“I’m not experimenting with you, Kage. I’m not that kind of man. This is forever for me and I’m not going anywhere. I’m here until you get tired of me.”

“What happens if I don’t get tired of you?”

“Then, I’m going to stay right here, loving you until they put me in the ground. Do you think you can live with that, Kage?”

“I definitely think I can live with that. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you, Green.”

“I’m sorry I made it impossible for you to. Does this mean we’re good now?”

“I think we might be better than good.”

“Great. Then, you need to get naked.”

“Naked?” she says, and I grin.

“Definitely, naked.”

“I am not getting naked in your mother’s house, Green. No way, no how.”

“Kage—”

“It’s not happening,” she says, shaking her head back and forth.

“Then, I guess we better go house shopping.”

“Huh?”

“If you think I’m going to let you lose Russ, you’re crazy. Russ belongs with you and you belong with me.”

“Green, I don’t want you taking on a ready-made family because—”

“You get I love you, and even if I didn’t know how much Russ means to you, I’d still want to do this. This is something that you can argue until you’re blue in the face about, but it won’t change a damn thing. You’re mine and that makes Russ mine. White and Kayla could give him a good life, but you and I can do more.” She doesn’t respond, but I see her eyes begin welling up with tears again. “Kage—”

“I love you,” she murmurs, wrapping her hands against the back of my neck and pulling me down to kiss her.

It’s a kiss proving that Kage and I have finally put the past behind us. I can’t remember anything being this sweet.

77

Kage

“Green, what are you doing?”

“You’ll see. Keep those pretty eyes of yours closed,” he orders, and I laugh.

I’m laughing a lot these days. It’s been two weeks since Green and I talked through everything at his mom’s. Two weeks in which it feels like my life has been completely transformed. Suddenly, instead of waiting for the next shoe to drop, I’m actually waking up wondering how things can get any better. Green and Allen have been staying at the apartment and even though it’s cramped at times, Green brought a twin bed from his mother’s and put it and my old one in Russ’s room. Then, he moved the full bed into our bedroom.

Ours.

If I wasn’t already smiling, I would at that thought. It really feels like we’re a family and that’s what Green does his best to convince me of. I really never thought I could be this happy. The only cloud hanging over us is the hearing date coming up with Russ. Ida Sue’s lawyer somehow managed to get it postponed until next month. Green keeps telling me he has everything under control, and I need to quit worrying. I don’t think I will be able to stop, but I do have confidence in him. One thing I learned through our talk at Ida Sue’s is that my man is special. He will always have my back. Okay, I learned two things, because it’s clear that Cynthia while beautiful to look at, is freaking nuts. No woman in her right mind would give up Green Lucas.

I know I never will.

I hear noises, but I can’t pinpoint what they are. I’m keeping my eyes closed, but even if I didn’t, Green has a blindfold on me. He wouldn’t tell me anything this morning. He would only say that he had a surprise for me. It was my day off from work, and apparently Green has completely resigned from the team now. It doesn’t seem like it’s bothered him. I didn’t realize his shoulder gave him that much trouble, but now that we’re living together, I can tell that it does. I’ve begun rubbing him down at night with magnesium oil and it seems to at least help a little, and there’s the added bonus of how we end up having sex afterwards.

“Watch your step, baby,” Green croons close to my ear. I stumble a little, but I follow his lead up what appears to be small steps. Then, I’m walking across solid ground that’s not like the grass from earlier. It’s concrete, maybe. It could be hard tile. “Are you ready?” he asks as I hear a door close.

I start laughing. “Can I take this off already?”

“I got you, Kage,” he murmurs, and those four words make me feel warm all over. He takes the blindfold off and I blink, my eyes adjusting. It’s an empty room. A beautiful, empty room. It has large floor-to-ceiling windows, a tray ceiling, with a dark hardwood floor and soft gray paint on the walls. There’s a gigantic gas fireplace on one wall with a darker gray tile that looks like marble. It’s beautiful, but I have no idea why we are here. “Well?” he asks, expectantly. I look around the room, trying to see what is going on. There’s a wide opening that’s too big to be a door but it opens into a large kitchen. I see a center island that is huge and topped with the same marble that’s on the fireplace. It’s a baker’s delight. I would love fixing my desserts here. “You hate it,” he says, sounding disappointed. “It’s okay. I have two more, but this one was closer to the school for Allen and Russ. Plus, I liked the bedroom layouts a lot more.”

“Green, honey, what are you talking about?”

“The house, of course.”

“The house?”

“Yeah, I was hoping you’d love it as much as I do. The real estate agent called me back yesterday while you were at work. This neighborhood is really hard to find homes in. She wanted to get an offer in really quick, if we wanted it.”

“I…You want to buy this house?”

“Well, us. We’re a team, now. But I won’t lie, Kage. I was hoping you’d love it as much as I do. There’s a pool and a place for us to put a hot tub in, too. The whole back yard is huge considering the area. The boys would have plenty of room. There’s also a wide sidewalk for Russ, the entire place is handicap accessible, really. It’s all one level, so that makes it easier for him. He won’t feel like he’s cut off from everyone else. There are three bedrooms on that end of the house,” he adds, motioning to his left. “And the master and a smaller bedroom is on this end. There are also three bathrooms. It’s kind of like it was made for us, Kage. We can have our bedroom away from the kids, because you’re kind of a screamer.”

“I’m what?” I ask, still unable to get my head around the fact that Green talked to a real estate agent about finding a home.

A home for all of us.

A home that won’t make Russ feel like he doesn’t belong.

If I didn’t already love Green Lucas, I totally would have fallen right this very moment.

“C’mon, baby, it’s not like you can deny that. Which is why it’s great that the other bedrooms are so far away from the master. Well, except the small bedroom, which we can make a nursery. There’s a huge den that has a door leading to the pool,” he says, taking my hand and leading me through to the kitchen and the attached den. It’s completely open. The kitchen has a large dining room on the other side that was hidden from the living room. All of the appliances are commercial grade, especially the gas stove, but the farmhouse kitchen sink is where my eyes gravitate. There’s not one single thing I would change about any of this. “I thought the bar was really good for all of the baking you love,” he adds, and he’s been talking so much, clearly excited that it takes a minute for my brain to function enough to go through everything he said.

“A nursery?”

“Shit, woman,” he grumbles. “We’ve been going at each other like rabbits and I’m not getting any younger. The way Mom keeps feeding you her fertility shakes, I figure if you aren’t there yet, you will be.”

“I’m not there yet, because I’m still taking birth control.”

“What are you doing that for?” he asks, clearly not happy.

“Because I didn’t realize we were trying to have a baby.”

“Why have you been drinking those shakes Mom gives you, then?”

“Because they were good?” I laugh. “Plus, I didn’t think it mattered, since I am on birth control.”

“Well, the shakes I’m drinking aren’t good. So, stop trying to strike us out before we even get started here.”

“You want a family with me? I mean a bigger family than the one we already have.”

Green stares at me for a minute and I shift on my feet, under his penetrating gaze.

“I want everything with you, Kage. I thought I’ve been pretty fucking clear on that front.”

“You have,” I murmur.

“Then, what’s the problem?”

“Nothing. I’ll throw my birth control out when I get back home,” I promise. Green’s face instantly relaxes.

“Good baby.”

“I love the house. Are you sure you want to live here, though? We haven’t really talked about what you’re going to do in your career and what you want.”

“I want you. I want the kids and any future kids. I want a home and I want that home to be here in Mason.”

“Well, that’s pretty clear,” I laugh, feeling so much joy it’s bubbling out of me.

“So, what do you think?” he asks, and I walk into his arms and stare into his dark gaze, wondering how I ever got so completely lucky.

“I think you need to show me where our bedroom is,” I tell him. I watch as a smile slowly stretches across his face.

“There’s no bed,” he cautions.

“Since when has that ever mattered with us?” I laugh.

My laugh turns into a squeal as he throws me over his shoulder and starts walking in the direction that I assume will take us to the master bedroom. I thought I couldn’t get any happier.

I was wrong.

Epilogue

GREEN

One Year Later

“BY THE POWER invested in me by the state of Texas, I now declare the adoption of Rusty Gambrel official,” the judge says, and cheers go up all around the courtroom.

“You mean Rusty Lucas!” Russ says, once the cheers die down.

“I guess I do, son,” the judge laughs.

“But you can call me Russ,” he adds and the judge nods in understanding.

“Welcome to the family, Russ,” I tell him, pride filling me. Russ looks at me, and slowly raises up out of his chair and stands. He’s a little shaky, but he’s getting better all the time.

After the court placed Russ in our home as foster parents and we started the adoption process, I started doing research on his injuries. I found a surgeon in Houston that specialized in spinal injuries and when I gave Russ the option, he decided to try. He is able to stand and take a few steps. The doctors feel that with continued therapy he will keep improving.

“Thanks, Dad,” he says. My damn heart feels as if it’s being squeezed in my chest. I have to clear my throat and swallow down the emotion that threatens to overtake me.

“Love you, Russ,” I respond, tears stinging my eyes. I take him in my arms and hug him close.

“Cool! We’re really brothers now,” Allen says, interrupting the hug and joining in.

“Hey, save some room for me,” Kage laughs, tears in her eyes.

I move my arm out, to scoop around the back of her and pull her into the hug and the four of us hug it out, as a family… which is the way it should be.

Kage and I got married right before we moved into our new house. It was a small civil ceremony at the courthouse. Just me, her, Russ, and Allen. I wanted to be able to carry her over the threshold as truly my wife.

It’s weird, after my past you would have thought I’d have been nervous about saying I do. The truth is, I couldn’t wait—even if Mom took months to forgive us for not letting her be at the service.

Having Kage as my wife and the boys, not to mention our newest blessing. My life is as near to perfect as humanly possible.

“Aright step back. Gramma wants her own hug,” Mom says, elbowing her way in between us.

Soon, the rest of my family—all of them from Gray and CC to Faith and Titan, my cousin and her husband, surround Russ, welcoming him into the family. I step back, Kage in my arms as everyone congratulates Russ.

“How are you doing?” I whisper into Kage’s ear.

“If I get any happier, I might burst,” she says, curling into me.

“You still don’t want to tell them all about the baby?” I ask her, since we just found out this week that she’s pregnant.

“No. Let Russ have today. He deserves this.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” I admit, happier than I can even begin to explain that Kage is having my baby. There was this emptiness inside of me ever since the last blood test said shown she was truly not pregnant.

We didn’t rush it once we finally got together, because we wanted the boys to adjust to living together with us. Still, as soon as Kage mentioned needing a little girl to help her survive all the testosterone in the house, I didn’t give her time to change her mind—that’s for damn sure.

“Green?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Thank you for doing this.”

“Doing what? Adopting Russ? I love him, Kage. You know that.”

“No, I mean for giving me the world. A world I never dreamed existed before I met you.” She looks at me, her eyes overly bright with unshed tears, a huge smile on her face and surrounded by my family, I realize everything she’s thanking me for is exactly what she gave me.

“I love you, baby,” I tell her, my heart so full that I can’t think of anything else to say. I can see she understands though and I guess that’s really all there is to say. When love is this big, this pure, words only get in the way.

The End

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Also by Jordan Marie

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Raging Heart On

Happy Trail

Cocked & Loaded

Knocking Boots

Home Run

Doing Bad Things

Going Down Hard

In Too Deep

Taking it Slow

Savage Brothers MC—Tennessee Chapter

Devil

Diesel

Rory

Fury

Savage Brothers MC

Breaking Dragon

Saving Dancer

Loving Nicole

Claiming Crusher

Trusting Bull

Needing Carrie

Devil’s Blaze MC

Captured

Craved

Burned

Released

Shafted

Beast

Beauty

Savage Brothers MC—2nd Generation

Taking Her Down

The Eternals

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Where We Began

Before We Fall

Filthy Florida Alphas

Unlawful Seizure

Unjustified Demands

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Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Contents

Title Image

Synopsis

Dedication

1. Kage

2. Green

3. Ida Sue

4. Kage

5. Green

6. White

7. Green

8. Green

9. Green

10. Kage

11. Green

12. Kage

13. Green

14. Green

15. Kage

16. Green

17. Ida Sue

18. Green

19. Kage

20. Green

21. Kage

22. Kage

23. Green

24. Kage

25. Kage

26. Green

27. Kage

28. Green

29. Kage

30. Green

31. Kage

32. Green

33. Kage

34. Green

35. Kage

36. Green

37. Kage

38. Green

39. Kage

40. Green

41. Kage

42. Green

43. Kage

44. Green

45. Kage

46. Green

47. Kage

48. Green

49. Kage

50. Green

51. Green

52. Kage

53. Green

54. Kage

55. Green

56. Kage

57. Green

58. Kage

59. Green

60. Kage

61. Green

62. Kage

63. Green

64. Kage

65. Green

66. Kage

67. Green

68. Black

69. Kage

70. Green

71. Kage

72. Kage

73. Green

74. Green

75. Kage

76. Green

77. Kage

Epilogue

Jordan’s Early Access

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Also by Jordan Marie