Bound

by

Steel

by Connie Lafortune

Bound by Steel

Connie Lafortune

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Bound by Steel

All rights reserved

Copyright © 2016 Connie Lafortune

www.connielafortune.com

Cover design © Hang Le byhangle.com

Edited and formatted by Peter Gaskin

Except for use in a review, no part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.

To Catherine and David Bibby

For your endless support and lifelong friendship

You guys rock!

Acknowledgements

I’d like to thank my husband, Alan, for putting up with my obsessive-compulsive behavior. A ton of one-sided conversations and a drawer full of takeout menus. Without your encouragement and support, I wouldn’t be doing what I love. You are and always will be my hero. Love you, baby.

To my beta readers and street team—Catherine at http://www.rochellesreviews.com and David at www.btepromotions.com, www.waxius.com. The both of you have been so pleasant, generous and downright selfless since I’ve met you. Your dedication and hard work in wanting to see all of us succeed is overwhelming. I’m so grateful for our Zoom meetings, nightly chats, Tweets and passion for books. But most importantly, I’m thankful to have found such amazing friends! Here’s to 2016…

A big shout out to my girl Miranda, for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my manuscripts. Your enthusiasm knows no bounds and gives me the inspiration to keep on writing.

To my editor, friend and mentor, Peter Gaskin. It’s been a year in the making and I’m so glad you’re along for the ride once again.

I'd like to thank Nathan McCree: producer, composer, and sound designer for the production and score of my book trailer, Bound by Steel. It was an honor and a privilege working with such an amazing icon in the music industry.

To all of my readers who’ve taken a chance on me. Every single one of YOU are the reason why I pour my blood, sweat and tears onto a blank page. Every. Single. Day. I am nothing without you…

And to my parents—Jeanne and Roland—who are no longer of this Earth but are forever in my heart. I love you both to the moon and back, a trillion times ten.

To my Lord and Savior for giving me the gift of words so I can in turn share them with others.

Table of Contents

Part One

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Part Two

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Part Three

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Epilogue

Playlist

Other Books by Connie Lafortune

Part One

Chapter One

December

Ryker

I open my eyes, and for a fleeting moment I am hopeful. Until the cold and empty space beside me crawls ruthlessly into my weary bones.

Solitude.

It’s been my personal retribution for the past three years. Since the death of my beloved.

Survive.

Exist.

That’s all I’m able to do. Until I take my last breath.

So, with a heavy heart I fling off the covers and plant my feet on the ice-cold floor. Apparently, the raging fire I stoked before going to bed has now fizzled to a few burning embers. I’d laugh at how symbolic that is to my life. Burning bright one minute, just to have it snuffed out in a millisecond. The irony of it should have me laughing, but somehow I don’t find anything amusing anymore. Maybe it has something to do with the nightmares. The same damn nightmares that have haunted me for years now. Leaving me broken, alone. Death, my only escape.

I rest my elbows on my knees and cover my face with my hands. Desperately holding back emotions that want to overpower me. Consume me. Today marks the third anniversary of Bella’s death. She was the most talented ballerina that had ever graced this Earth. Unfortunately, she was struck and killed in a hit-and-run. While the world celebrated Christmas, I was burying the most beautiful part of me. Bell was my best friend, my lover, my wife. My everything.

After six weeks of heartfelt condolences, botched investigations, and sleepless nights, I shut down. My mind was muddled and my heart was shattered. So I did the only thing that made sense to me at the time. I ceased to exist. It wasn’t hard to pull off, since I work for the government. They were kind enough to gift me with a new identity, a job, and a place to live. So on a cold January morning, Ryker Steel climbed into his black SUV, never to be seen or heard from again.

I’m suddenly pulled out of my thoughts when I feel a cold nose trying to pry my hands apart. I can’t help smiling when I look up and see Cody’s golden eyes gazing into my black and lifeless ones. She’s my beautiful Bernese mountain dog and the only reason I bother getting out of bed every morning. She makes me smile when her tongue darts out to lick my scruffy face.

“Good morning, Cody. Would you like to go out?” Her resounding yelp echoes off the walls before I even push off the bed. “Okay, okay. Let me get dressed.”

Once I’ve thrown on a pair of jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, I head downstairs with her close at my heels. The moment I open the front door, bitter cold bites at my exposed skin. A fresh layer of snow stretches across the horizon as far as I can see. She’s gone in a flash. Cody loves to mark her territory in the white snow, so I know I won’t be seeing her for quite some time.

Traitor.

After closing the door, I head straight for the kitchen. I need my fix. Caffeine. It’s my one and only addiction. The rich scent of brewing beans permeates the air almost immediately after I throw in a pod. Now I’m thankful I took the time to go into town yesterday to pick up supplies. Especially since they’re predicting another sixteen to twenty-four inches of snow our way. I’ve no doubt it’s just a matter of time before they close down all the secondary roads. Which will make traveling nearly impossible for everyone rushing home for the holidays.

While waiting for my second cup, I add more wood to the fireplace in the living room. It sits directly in the center of the log cabin and heats the entire first floor. I’m mesmerized as I watch the flames flicker like an exotic dancer reaching out her hand to seduce me. But no matter how long I stand there and stare into the fire, I’m cold from the inside out. Nothing could ever make me feel warm and alive.

Ever again…

Wrapping my hands around the mug I gaze into its dark depths. Hoping its warmth will spread into my hands and radiate throughout my body. As the steam billows and curls, it appears to swallow me whole. Pulling me beneath its murky darkness.

So I let go and allow it to take me,

Down

Down

Down.

Until something niggles at the back of my mind.

A sense of foreboding washes over me as goose bumps break out along my skin.

Something feels off.

I can’t put my finger on it, but my sixth sense is never wrong. I stride into my office and flip a switch. Ten monitors promptly blink to attention. Lighting up the darkness of the room with an eerie glow. The hairs on the back of my neck quickly stand at attention when I see Cody running around in circles.

What the fuck!

A car has veered off the road and is now sitting precariously close to the edge. Although Lake Lucerne is frozen this time of year, a car falling from that height would plunge straight through the ice. Location Seven continuously flashes red and I don’t hesitate for a second longer before putting on my gear and racing out the door.

Lyra

The last thing I remember is losing control of the wheel. Then nothing. I’m cold. So, so cold. I don’t know how long I’ve been trapped in this stupid car. Hours could have easily turned into days. And every breath I take feels like it will be my last. My head hurts and something sticky is oozing out of it. Not good, since I’m in the middle of the woods in Bum Fuck, New York. Obviously, I’m lost. And I’m an idiot for thinking I could rent a car and make it to my parents’ house before the storm hit. Now, I know exactly where I’m going to spend my holidays. This hunk of metal will surely be my tomb until they find me in the spring.

Darkness. It envelops me like a stifling cocoon. Only this time, it feels different. It’s not cold. It’s as warm and cozy as a summer day. Is this what it feels like to die? Could death be knocking on my door? No, I won’t die! Gage and my parents would never forgive me for being so selfish. Fight, Lyra! Do not succumb to this feeling of euphoria simply because you’re too weak. Fight!

One lone tear makes its escape as I feel my body floating towards the heavens.

I wake to something soft and warm draped across my chest. But it takes a minute or two for me to realize what it could be. A comforter. Was I dreaming? No, the accident was most definitely real. I know this to be true because my head feels like it’s split apart. Slowly, I raise my hand and feel the gauze that now covers my wound. Am I in a hospital? No, I can’t be because it doesn’t have that clawing antiseptic smell that hospitals do. So, where am I? Distress causes me to suck in a deep breath, which is excruciating. Clearly, my head wasn’t the only injury I sustained. My ribs must have taken a beating, too.

Once my senses return, I can actually hear and smell the logs crackling in the fireplace. While the mouthwatering scent of stew surrounds me. Comforts me. It doesn’t take long before my belly growls in anticipation. How long has it been since I’ve eaten? Hours? Days? I have no idea but my eyes suddenly fill with unshed tears when I realize I’m in someone’s home.

Someone saved my life…

I can no longer hold back my tears as they suddenly burst free. Every single emotion I’ve ever repressed comes gushing out as I feel the bed dip beside me. I draw in a painful breath, too afraid to open my eyes. God only knows what’s waiting on the other side. But the one thing I do know—death surely would’ve snatched me with her icy fingers had I stayed in that car for much longer. Perhaps she already had.

I muster all the strength I possess and slowly open my eyes. Only to see golden ones staring back at me. A beautiful dog with a multicolored coat and floppy ears peruses me. Before I have a chance to utter a sound, a loud bark resonates in the quiet room.

When a man suddenly appears at the head of the stairs, I’m cautious. His height and broad shoulders cast a scary shadow that dances along the dim walls. And my heart immediately takes flight as it thumps wildly inside of me.

“Cody. Come.” The dog takes one last peek at me before joining its master. “Sit,” he commands, as his hand firmly brushes the top of the dog’s head. Then I cower when his focus returns to me. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

When I open my mouth to speak, nothing comes out. I’m so parched. And it certainly doesn’t help when I have to tilt my head up just to look at him. He’s intimidating with his tall frame looming over me. Immediately, my body begins to react. Trembling uncontrollably. Quickly, he grabs a blanket from the foot of the bed and wraps it around me. “Is that better, Lyra?” he asks, squatting down beside me.

He knows my name. Now he’s at an advantage because I sure as hell don’t have a clue who he is. All I can do is nod as I gaze into his hypnotic eyes. They’re as black as the night and a perfect match to his silken hair. Which is long enough to graze the collar of his shirt. With his scruffy beard, it’s almost impossible to see if there is a handsome man underneath. But it certainly draws attention to his full, sensuous lips. They’re perfectly shaped. And when he catches me ogling them, they curl into a mischievous grin.

When a glass of water mysteriously appears in his hand, I lunge for it. Spilling half of it on myself before quenching my undying thirst. “Go easy, Lyra. You’ll be sick if you drink it too fast.”

After I’ve extinguished my scratchy throat, I say, “I’m glad you find me so amusing, especially since we don’t know one another. Apparently, you know my name but I don’t know yours.” I can’t help glaring as he matches my stare. When he reaches for a towel on the nightstand and tries to mop up my mess, I swiftly grab it out of his hands. I might be in pain, but I will not let a stranger touch me.

He’s smiling when he runs his index finger across those sexy-as-sin lips. “You didn’t have a hell of a lot to say over the last three days, but you’re sure making up for lost time.”

Chapter Two

Ryker

Lyra scrutinizes me from head to toe. When her eyes finally land on mine, she blushes. How precious. Just wait until she realizes that the clothes she’s wearing now are not what she had on the day of her accident. And that we’ve been sleeping in the same bed.

“Well, I’m waiting. Who are you?” she inquires.

First, I hold out my hand just to see if she’ll even consider taking mine into hers. She hesitates for a heartbeat and then her small hand gets lost in mine. Instantly, my heart races when something deep inside of me sparks to life.

No. This can’t be happening!

Immediately, I pull my hand away. Lyra looks confused when I stand up and make a mad dash for the stairs. Once I’ve taken a few calming breaths to quiet my hammering heart, I slowly turn around and reply, “My name is Ryker Steel. You don’t have to thank me for saving your life. Thank Cody. She’s the one who found you.” God, why does it feel like the room is closing in on me? I need to put some distance between the both of us. Now!

What the fuck just happened?

My hands tremble as I dip the ladle into the steaming pot of stew. Thanks to our little encounter, my appetite is nonexistent. But that doesn’t mean Lyra has to go without. So, I reluctantly climb the stairs with the tray clenched tightly in my hands. But when I reach the top step, my heart skips a beat. She’s sitting up against the headboard with the sheets securely wrapped around her. She looks so small and fragile, reminding me of someone I used to know so long ago. “No, she doesn’t!” my subconscious screams back at me. But my heart knows. The woman who’s mysteriously appeared looks just like the one I’m trying to forget.

Bella.

“What did you do with my clothes? And why don’t I remember changing into my pajamas?”

Sighing, I carefully set down the tray. Lyra swallows down hard as I come closer. “Your clothes were soaked by the time I brought you here. Believe me, it was imperative I keep you dry and as warm as possible. It was the only way to bring your body temp back up…”

She frantically shakes her head as her eyes open wide. “Oh my god! You undressed me while I was unconscious? How dare you…”

Without hesitating, I grasp the slats of the king-sized bed right between her head and shoulders. Immobilizing her. Placing one knee on the bed beside her hip, I calmly lean down so we are eye to eye. “How dare I? Is that what you were going to ask? Well let me tell you something, we wouldn’t be having this conversation if I hadn’t done what I did. Hypothermia had already set in when I found you. One more hour, precious, and you would’ve been dead. Dry, warm clothes and my body heat are what saved your sorry ass. And don’t worry, your virtue is still safe because I love my women with a little more meat on their bones. More cushion for the pushin’ if you get my drift,” I whisper, as I glide my nose from her smooth jawline to her temple. Unfortunately, my dick doesn’t agree. It perks to life the moment my skin comes in contact with hers. Fuck! Quickly, I push off the bed. “There’s venison stew on the tray along with some crusty bread. You need to eat so you can gain your strength back. I’ll be up later when I’m ready for bed.”

“You’re sleeping with me?” she asks, in a hushed voice.

“Since this is my bedroom, then yes, I’ll be sleeping in that bed with you. Don’t worry, precious, I promise all we’ll do is sleep.” Goading her, I wink before heading downstairs.

Lyra has only been awake for a few short hours and I’m already irritable. Maybe I’ve lived alone for far too long and I’d forgotten what confrontation was like. Well, it doesn’t matter. Now that she’s here, she can never leave. By saving her life, I’ve now jeopardized my own. But as far as I’m concerned, her life is far more precious than mine ever could be.

Lyra

I’m still trembling as his words play over and over in my mind. “I love my women with a little more meat on their bones. More cushion for the pushin’.” Vulgar brute! So why does his blatant insult make me so angry? Perhaps, it’s because I can still feel the warmth of his breath as his nose glided along my cheek. Argh, I should be thankful he finds me so repulsive. Then I’ll know for certain that this bed will only be used for sleeping.

After I’ve taken several calming breaths to gather my thoughts, I think of Gage and my parents. They must be out of their minds with worry. And if I remember correctly, Ryker did mention that I was unconscious for days. So I need to call them immediately to let them know I’m safe.

Just when I’m about to throw caution to the wind, a sweet, familiar melody fills the air. Instantly, my heart skips a beat as I recognize the opera recording. It’s my father’s favorite, Orpheus and Eurydice. Once I’ve tottered to the head of the stairs, I grow breathless. Ryker’s leaning against the front door with his head bent to the side. His legs are crossed at the ankles, and his strong arms are folded tightly across his broad chest. He’s so immersed in the music, he doesn’t hear me when I sit down on the top step. I’m transfixed as I watch the music take him to a place that doesn’t exist in our world. I wait with bated breath for the song to hit its crescendo. Before it comes crashing down to its tragic end. Once again, goose bumps dot across my heated skin. My father has played this opera over and over again for years. And I still have the same reaction when I listen to it. It never gets old.

I want to see just how long Ryker will stand there once the song is over.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four…

I gasp when his eyes suddenly lock on mine. So much heartache and pain is transfixed in his gaze that I find myself hesitant to walk down the stairs. But when I enter his personal space, his body stiffens. Now I’m having second thoughts. Should I have stayed in bed? Absolutely not. Because no matter how angry he made me with his blatant insult, I’m still a compassionate person. His anguish is palpable. So much so, that it consumes me. Overwhelms me. To the point where I feel the need to comfort him. Instinctively, my hand reaches out to console him.

“Don’t touch me!” he warns. I flinch at his gruff reprimand.

Now I’m desperate to ease the tension I just incurred so I say the first thing that comes to mind. “Orpheus and Eurydice is my father’s favorite opera. Did you know he named me Lyra because of the harp that Apollo placed in the sky after the death of Eurydice? No, I guess you wouldn’t know that since you just met me a few days ago…” his intense gaze compels me to shut my mouth. Without delay. Whenever I get nervous, I have a tendency to start rambling about anything and everything. Right now he’s none too pleased about that fact.

Ryker rubs at the back of his neck. His smoldering stare penetrates every part of me. “Now that you’re up and about, you need to shower and change into some clean clothes, Lyra.” I’m not sure if it’s the way he says my name in that deep, sensual timbre that’s all his or if it’s his enigmatic stare, but it sends shivers down my spine.

Yeah, even I can’t stand the smell of me. “I’d like that very much. But first, I’d like to make a few calls to let everyone know I’m alive.”

“Unfortunately, that’s impossible. The little tower reception we had up here is out because of the storm. By the way, how was your stew?” Wow. Way to change the subject. Hmm…

“I’m sure it’s delicious but I haven’t tried it yet.” He frowns before walking upstairs.

“I’m grabbing you some clean clothes and while you’re showering, I’ll reheat the stew. Then we’ll both sit down and eat before going to bed. Understood?” I quiver when he peers down from above. “I didn’t hear you, precious.”

“Y—Yes. That’s fine.”

His lips curl into a wicked grin. “Good.”

Since my rescuer is not much of a talker, we eat in complete silence. Awkward. But it’s reassuring to know what he lacks in conversational skills, he more than makes up for in his culinary abilities. I swear I devoured a hearty bowl of stew and two hunks of crusty bread in record time. Now that my belly’s full and content, I’m ready for bed. Until I remember that I’m not sleeping alone. Hells bells! What am I going to do? Reluctantly, I crawl underneath the covers. Waiting. Anticipating. What? I don’t know.

As I lie there staring up at the ceiling, all I can think about is sleeping with Ryker. This is wrong on so many levels. Yes, he saved my life. And yes, he might have slept with me for the last few nights, but I was unconscious. Tonight, I’m wide awake. And when I hear him coming up the stairs, I quickly curl up into a little ball and close my eyes. I can feel the bed shift beside me as he slips beneath the covers. And my heart beats erratically as his manly scent wraps around me. God I wish it was my boyfriend Gage lying next to me, and that this whole ‘accident’ is just a nightmare.

Chapter Three

Ryker

Up until four days ago, my life was tedious and tiresome. Until I rescued a dainty girl with golden hair and sad hazel eyes. Now, my life has turned upside down and inside out. What am I supposed to do with her? Do I just bring her home when the weather cooperates and pray the media doesn’t get wind of it? Or will I become some kind of small town hero and have my picture plastered on every newspaper across the state? No one would recognize me, of that I’m sure. But I made a stupid mistake and told Lyra my real name. The one I haven’t used in over three years. Fuck! I can’t take the chance. Not after I’ve been so careful about revealing my true identity. Dammit! I should have just ignored the monitor that day and let nature take its course. Eventually, they would have found her and her family would have had closure. Now they’ll never have it. Because she will live in hell with me until we take our last breaths.

Together.

Once I’d felt that connection with Lyra last night, all I wanted to do was listen to the opera. If for no other reason than to remind myself of why I’m in this godforsaken place. But she wouldn’t let me. She had to ruin it by trying to comfort me through my pain. Soon, she will come to realize I destroy everything in my wake. And it’s inevitable that she will suffer the same fate by my hands.

This is the first night I didn’t sedate her, so she’s restless. She tosses and turns and keeps me awake for the most part. So I just lie here and watch her sleep. She appears so small and fragile. Helpless. I don’t know why that bothers me so much, but it does. I’m hoping it’s just my mind playing tricks on me or because I haven’t been with a woman for so long. Normally, when I go in to town for supplies, I stop at The Pleasure Palace. It’s an upscale escort service with an unimaginative name, but the girls are discreet and exquisite. Unfortunately, I didn’t stop the last time I was in town due to the impending storm. There’s no doubt in my mind—if I had been balls deep inside of Sonia, I would have never made it back in time. If it were just me, it wouldn’t be an issue. But I have Cody to consider and getting laid isn’t worth putting her at risk.

I’m just about to get out of bed when Lyra suddenly pushes her ass up against my morning wood. Fuck me!

“Gage, I want you,” she whispers, and her hand gets tangled in my hair. Gage must be her boyfriend. God, it would be so easy to take advantage of her and satisfy my own needs at the same time, but I won’t force myself on her. Eventually, she’ll come to me. Willingly. They all do.

The noble thing to do would be to let her know it’s me, but I never said I was perfect. So I grab her hip, rather roughly, and grind my length against her tight little ass. And when she moans, I come undone. “Would you like me to fuck you, precious?”

Why do I find it so amusing to watch her stumble out of bed, taking the covers along with her?

“I—I’m sorry. I thought you were Gage,” she says. I chuckle. Poor girl. She doesn’t know if she should look at my hard-on or the dragon tattoo wrapped around my torso. “You’re only wearing boxer-briefs.”

In a heartbeat, I’m out of bed and towering over her. It’s adorable the way she holds up her hands to stop me. So, I purposely lean my chest against them. They’re trembling and very, very cold. I place my nice warm hands on top of hers and lean in to whisper in her ear. “I usually sleep in the nude, precious. And if I had been, your panties would be on the floor right now and I’d be inside your tight little pussy.” She gasps when I spin her around, her back to my front, and glide my hand down her flat stomach. When my fingers slip inside her pajama bottoms, her head lolls against my chest and she fucking moans.

Lyra… Wants… Me.

Lyra

When his warm hand glides down my quivering belly, I lose all self-control. My mind screams at him to stop, but my body’s aching for him to continue. I blame it on the damn erotic dream I was having about Gage being inside of me. It felt so real. But he’s not Gage and I can’t let this happen. “Ryker, stop! Please don’t touch me,” I scream, scrambling to get away from him.

My mouth goes dry when I spin around to face him. His hair’s a tousled, sexy mess. Thanks to me, no doubt. And his boxer-briefs are straining against his raging hard-on. He’s holding his hands out to the side with a wicked grin stretched across his shameless face. “I’m not the one who started this, precious.”

What’s wrong with me? Somehow, someway, I need to get the hell out of here. “When will I be able to go home?”

“Unfortunately, you’ll be stuck here with me for quite some time. So we might as well make the best of it.”

What the what? Why does that give me a sinking feeling? “Could you be a little more specific?”

If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he’s trying to brush me off. With his back to me, he sits on the edge of the bed and tugs on his jeans. “Are you serious, Lyra? I’ve already risked my neck saving you the first time, you want me to do it again? Not happening. You’ll go home when I’m damned ready to take you. Got it?”

I feel like someone just sucked all the air out of me. Like a deflated balloon. There’s no way I can get out of here on my own. I have no clue where I am. Dammit!

“I’m going downstairs to make breakfast. You can stay here and pout, or you may join me. The choice is yours, precious.” That nickname is truly getting annoying.

I desperately want to change into something other than pajamas. So I take a quick peek inside his closet. I’m totally speechless when I see my clothes hanging next to his. And when I open the dresser, my clothes are neatly folded in the two bottom drawers. This is too freaky to wrap my head around. Not only did the man save my life, it looks like he’s moved me into his home. Permanently.

As I get dressed, I can hear Ryker talking to Cody. I’ve noticed he uses a different tone with the dog. Firm. Commanding but gentle. Almost loving. I’ve only known this man for a few days now, but I’m beginning to think he has many layers. I just hope that I can get the hell out of here before peeling back every single one.

His eyes rake over every inch of me when I walk into the kitchen. It makes me feel naughty and dirty. Especially since I can still feel the touch of his hand sliding down my belly.

“Good, I see you’ve found your clothes. Now come and eat your breakfast, precious.” Argh, I have to nip this in the bud.

“My name’s Lyra Harper. Not ‘precious’. Please call me by my real name. Thank you.” Ryker gives me the evil eye, with his brows pinched together. I don’t know if I want to slap him or kiss him. What the hell has gotten into me? I love Gage. We’ve been together for years and he’s the very air I breathe. So why does this infuriating man make me feel this way? God only knows and I’m barely speaking to him at the moment.

Chapter Four

Ryker

Now that Lyra’s feeling better, she’s fidgety. And I know it’s just a matter of time before she insists on going home. Unfortunately for her, that can never happen. Which means that sometime today, I’ll have to report her whereabouts to my boss, Hawk. He’s not going to be happy. In fact, he’ll chew me up and spit me out for doing what I did. But, what’s done is done. I’ll just have to placate him by reminding him who trained me to be the best. Then we’ll take it from there.

I’m still lost in my own head when I start rinsing off the breakfast dishes. When Lyra’s hand lands on my bicep, I recoil.

“I’m sorry. I—I can do that if you don’t mind. It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for me.”

Hastily, I grab a towel to wipe my hands before walking away. “I’ll be in my office for the rest of the day. You can do whatever you’d like to occupy your time.” I point to the doors which are directly below the loft. “There’s a small library in that room and next to it is my gym. You have access to both if it’s something you think you’d enjoy. But do not go outside, Lyra. It wouldn’t be in your best interest to wander around out there alone.” I watch her worry her bottom lip before she focuses on Cody. “Believe me. You don’t want to go there. Make no mistake where her loyalties lie. You. Will. Lose.”

I can feel her eyes burning a hole in my back when I place my hand on the keypad of the office door. The door clicks under my touch as it recognizes my handprint. Normally, I would leave the door open but now that Lyra’s here, it needs to stay locked.

Once I step inside, I lock the door behind me. Then I flip a switch and watch all ten monitors come to life. And for what seems like the millionth time, I examine each and every one. When nothing appears out of the ordinary, I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s unlikely they’d be searching for Lyra way up here. Since she was lost and miles away from her destination. And it’s unfortunate that her courageous attempt robbed her of her freedom. But I’ll be damned if being in the wrong place at the wrong time will rob her of her life.

Well, I suppose there’s no time like the present. I might as well call Hawk and get it over with. Why postpone the inevitable? I’m just about to hang up when I hear, “What’s wrong, Dragon?” We never use our names in case our phone lines have been breached. Hence the tattoo.

“I have a dilemma and I’d like to know how you want me to proceed.” I take a deep breath and give him my report on what’s transpired over the last several days. He doesn’t interrupt me as I speak, but I can hear the clicking of his laptop keys in the background. I’m sure he’s checking the local news to see if they’ve already organized a search party. It’s only a matter of minutes before he discovers what I already know.

“‘Twenty-six-year-old Lyra Harper was reported missing on Wednesday, after she failed to arrive at her parents’ home for the holidays. She is 5’3”, weighs approximately 105 pounds, and has hazel eyes and blonde hair. Lyra was last seen driving a 2012 Honda Civic with dealer plates XX7867. If anyone has seen this vehicle or thinks they have seen Lyra, please contact your local police department’ blah, blah, blah. Do you have any fucking clue who her parents are, Dragon?”

“Grant Harper is a professor at NYU. His lectures in astronomy are known worldwide. Her mom, Vega, is a freelance writer who often writes articles for the New York Times. Yes, Hawk. I know who they are.”

“Then you need to eliminate her as soon as possible. It’s unfortunate, but necessary.”

“That’s not an option, Hawk.” Dammit! Hawk should know better than anyone that I was trained to eliminate the enemy—not an innocent girl.

“Listen to me! It’s a set up. It has to be. Think about it. The woman who’s recovering in your home looks just like your dead wife!”

“Don’t fucking go there, or I swear I will reach through this phone and pull your fucking heart out with my bare hands!”

“Dragon, your location has been breached. If you don’t take care of this little problem, they will destroy you.”

“Then so be it.” I’ll be waiting.

Lyra

The better part of my day is spent curled up in a comfy winged back chair in the library. With the essence of books surrounding me in their sweet embrace. Here, I’m in my element and I couldn’t be more content. This is where I plan on spending every waking minute until I’m able to go home. And the only reason I chose to put down the book I was reading was because my stomach ‘doth protest too much.’ I know—it’s a sad reference to Hamlet. My bad. When I make a mad dash out of the library, in my quest for sustenance, I smack right into what feels like a brick wall.

Large, warm hands suddenly wrap around my upper arms. Steadying me. While mine land on a very solid chest. Oh my. The steady beat of his heart picks up speed beneath my palms. When I open my eyes—which I hadn’t realized were closed—I’m met with a smoldering stare. My god, no man has ever made me feel so sensual with just one look.

“Lyra, is something wrong?” The moment he speaks, our connection is broken.

Shaking my head, I try pushing him away. When he finally lets go, I walk around him and into the kitchen. “I was going to grab a bite to eat. Would you like something?”

I pretend I’m busy gathering a few things out of the fridge, but I’m really watching him out of the corner of my eye. Ryker’s staring at me as he runs his hands through that glorious head of hair.

“Thanks, but I’ll grab something later.” What—no snappy comeback? No ‘Thanks but no thanks, precious’? I glance up just in time to watch him stride into the gym, slamming the door behind him. And men claim that women are moody? Not!

After I devour a hearty sandwich, I decide to head upstairs. Now that I have some alone time, I’d like to go through all of my belongings. I’m disappointed once I realize the only items Ryker was able to salvage were my clothes. All of my personal possessions that were in my overnight back are missing. I suppose I should be grateful he thought to bring anything at all.

I’m sitting on the bed feeling sorry for myself when Ryker saunters up the stairs. His body is slick with sweat from what must have been one hell of a workout. And his six pack appears even more pronounced by that remarkable V-shaped muscle which disappears inside the waistband of his shorts. They ride low on his hips and give his fire breathing dragon a life of its own. Before even acknowledging me, he scrubs his face with a towel draped around his neck. And I’m speechless when he catches me gawking at him for the second time in twenty-four hours.

He’s changed since he went into his office this morning. And his unwavering gaze makes me uneasy. “What’s wrong?” I ask. “Do you—”

He cuts me off immediately. “Lyra, meet me downstairs in twenty minutes. We need to talk and you’re not going to like what I have to tell you.”

What the hell? Now, I have a million and one questions. My mind’s spinning out of control as he grabs his clothes and heads downstairs. I’ll give him his damn twenty minutes and then he’ll answer every, single, one of my questions.

I’m sitting on the couch when he finally walks out of the bathroom. Exactly twenty minutes later. If nothing else, he’s punctual. He’s wearing faded jeans and a black T-shirt that hugs his body like a second skin. And once again, he’s barefoot. I’ve yet to see him wear any kind of footwear. Strange. Once he’s seated he rests his leg on the opposite thigh. Ryker looks apprehensive when he finally glances up at me.

“I’m going to be as blunt as possible, Lyra. You’re going to have a lot of questions that I can’t answer right now.” I’m on pins and needles, waiting for him to continue. “Because I chose to save your life that day, you belong to me now. In due course, your family will come to believe you perished up on the mountain. Do you understand what that means, precious? You will never be able to see your family, your friends or your boyfriend. Ever again. So consider this the first day of the rest of your life.”

What? Is this some kind of sick joke? He can’t be serious! Can he? Unless he wants to keep me for his own nefarious reasons? Without hesitating, I jump off the couch and hurl myself in his direction. Scratching, punching and biting to no avail. Until all I can feel is a tiny little prick in my neck and his warm breath as he whispers, “Sleep, precious. Sleep.”

Chapter Five

Ryker

It hadn’t been my intention to sedate her. But I had the syringe ready to go, just in case. And I’m grateful I did. Now, it’s been almost two hours since I gave her the Ketamine. The date rape drug of choice. Which is one of the easiest drugs to get out on the street. I know for certain this vial is not dangerous because I got it from Hawk. So, I’ve just been sitting here, waiting for her to wake up. And once she does, I’m sure there will be hell to pay. Lyra might appear small and fragile, but I know she’s a little hellcat.

Just when I decide to make sure she’s still breathing, she stirs. So I lean forward, with my elbows on my knees. Since my eyes have already adjusted to the darkness of the room, I focus on her.

Waiting.

Watching.

Anticipating.

The light of the moon is peeking through the curtains, illuminating her small frame. When a strangled moan escapes her parted lips, Lyra instantly touches the spot where I sedated her. And after her eyes have adjusted to the darkness, they hatefully lock onto mine. “You won’t get away with this, Mr. Steel. As soon as the weather clears, my family will find me. You can bet your life on it.”

You see, hope is a funny thing. When it’s snatched away from us, we give up. We accept it, without question. So I won’t tell Lyra that Hawk’s already destroyed any evidence as to her whereabouts. Hell, what kind of monster would I be if I took away her only chance at revenge?

I steeple my fingers calmly, as she struggles to sit up. Her eyes haven’t drifted from mine for an instant, and I must say I’m impressed. Usually, I’m quite intimidating. I must be losing my touch.

Once she’s settled against the headboard, she begins to enlighten me. “Since you’re holding me here against my will, Mr. Steel, I’d like to get a few things out in the open. You’ve already made it quite clear that I’m not voluptuous enough to satisfy your needs, so can I trust you not to rape me in the middle of the night?”

I’m so infuriated by her asinine question that I hadn’t realized I’d pinned her to the mattress. I hesitate and her hand connects with my jaw. I’ll give her that one, but I’ll be damned if I’ll give her another. Immediately, I wrap my hands around her delicate wrists and press them to the sheets. By the pained look on her face, I’m sure that smack to my jaw hurt her a hell-of-a-lot more than it could ever hurt me.

Why does my chest suddenly constrict when I see tears tumbling down her cheeks? I tell myself it’s a knee-jerk reaction and I quickly bury it deep down inside. Where it belongs.

“You never answered my question, Mr. Steel,” she states.

She gasps when I rest her hands against my thighs. Then I lean in so close I can feel her breath against my lips. “I don’t have to force anyone to satisfy me, precious. They eagerly await my visits in the hope that I will choose them. Maybe one day you will, too. And if you don’t, it’s your loss.” I’m instantly hard as her tongue slides across her bottom lip. Quickly, I release her hands before climbing off the bed.

Closing my eyes, I take in a few deep breaths. Trying to compose myself. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

Lyra

Back for what? So he can stick me with another needle? Using the corner of my shirt, I wipe away my tears and dab at my runny nose. I’m a mess. And to top it all off, my hand’s swollen from punching the bastard in the face. Right now I would give just about anything to soak in a hot tub and scrub away this feeling of trepidation.

I’ve always considered myself a strong and independent woman, but I don’t know how much of this I can withstand. Just the thought of not seeing Gage or my family ever again wrecks me. I have to stop thinking like that and concentrate on how I’m going to escape. Somehow. Someway. I will get the fuck out of here.

I sit up and throw my legs over the side of the bed, just as Ryker swaggers up the stairs. The room begins to spin at my sudden movement and I have to close my eyes until it passes. I feel the heat emanating off of him before the bed dips beside me.

“Let me see your hand, Lyra.”

He’s patiently waiting when I open my eyes. I reluctantly hold out my hand for him to see. And I’m stunned when he places it on his thigh and gently covers it with an ice pack. “Contrary to what you believe, Lyra, I’m not the enemy. For what it’s worth, I’m actually one of the good guys. I could have easily let you die out there. All alone. But I chose to bring you into my home and let you live. So you see, either way you would’ve lost your free will.”

What he’s saying doesn’t make sense to me. Why can’t he bring me home once the weather cooperates? I suppose I’ll never know if I don’t ask. “Why can’t I go home, Ryker?”

He’s quiet, pensive, and I’m afraid he won’t answer me. Finally, he says, “If I tell you why you can’t go home, I’d have to kill you. I can’t do that, precious. So let’s suffice it to say we’re stuck with each other until the day we die.”

Straightaway, I’m off the bed and pacing about the room. I can feel his eyes tracking my every move and it infuriates me. Since I don’t want him to sedate me ever again, I make sure to take deep breaths and pray this calms me down. Once my pulse slows, I retort, “You can’t hold me here against my will, Mr. Steel. That’s kidnapping. When they find me they will lock you up and throw away the key. And I will be the very first one to celebrate your imprisonment.”

Before I can get another word out, Cody comes bounding up the stairs with her teeth bared. She immediately places her body between her master and me. Apparently, I’d raised my voice and hadn’t realized I’d done so. Now the dog thinks I’m threatening Ryker. I’d laugh if I wasn’t so pissed.

“Cody, sit!” he commands. His predatory gaze lands on mine. “The last thing I was looking for was a houseguest, precious. I like flying solo. So I’ll make you a deal—you stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours. Agreed?” I nod as he begins walking away. What choice do I have? He stops and turns around with his arms folded across his chest. “Before I came upstairs to bring you your ice, I ran a hot bath for you. You might want to take advantage of it before it gets too cold.” With that said, he heads downstairs with Cody tagging behind.

For a brief moment, my heart squeezes inside my chest. He ran me a bath. Isn’t this what I yearned for only minutes ago? He’s trying to make me comfortable in his home and I’m fighting him every step of the way. There’s so much that I don’t understand and maybe I never will, but he’s right. For now, I’ll stay out of his way and plan my escape.

After grabbing some clean clothes, I quickly head downstairs to enjoy my bath. From this moment on, I’m going to try and find comfort in the little things he’s willing to give me.

Chapter Six

Ryker

It’s been so long since I’ve been so close to a woman who’s just stepped out of the bath. I find myself breathing her in and filling my lungs with her intoxicating scent. Is there something narcissistic about the fact that she’s used my shampoo and body wash? Perhaps, but Lyra has an underlying scent that’s pure woman.

When she slips beneath the covers I become instantly hard. It’s unfortunate, because now I’m going to have to take another cold shower with Rosie Palm. God, my hand has seen more action lately than when I was a horny teenager. And it doesn’t help when I think of Sonia on her knees with her lips wrapped around my…

“Ryker, are you awake?” I struggle to breathe when Lyra’s hand unexpectedly lands on my shoulder.

Shit…Shit…Shit

“What’s wrong, precious?” She blows out an exasperated breath at my term of endearment and I can’t help chuckling.

“I wanted to thank you for running me a bath. It was very thoughtful of you. And for the delicious dinner.”

“Don’t read too much into it, Lyra. We both have to eat, so I just kept yours warm while you enjoyed your bath.” You would think with all this useless banter my dick would have shriveled up and died. It has not. So I am going to end this conversation once and for all. Then I’m going to stroke one out in the shower as I think of Sonia doing what she does best. Satisfying me.

As soon as I throw back the covers, she asks, “Where are you going?”

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you that curiosity killed the cat, precious?” She frowns. I know I should just drop it, but I never said I was an angel. I watch as her eyes widen the moment I approach her side. You’d have to be blind not to notice the bulge in my boxers even in the darkened room. I grab myself as I bend down to her eye level. “Would you like to take care of this for me, Lyra?” She swallows down hard and quickly shakes her head. “No? I didn’t think so. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” If she only knew how good I could make her feel, she just might have taken me up on my offer.

My intention was to fantasize about Sonia in the shower. Well, that didn’t fucking happen! Instead, I pictured Lyra on her knees with my cock in her mouth. Her pretty pink tongue teasing me, licking me until I came in a heated frenzy.

Son…Of…A…Bitch!

What is wrong with me? I shouldn’t have to ask myself that question. I know what’s wrong. She looks so much like my Bella, it makes my chest ache. But I’m not going down that road. I can’t. And I won’t. It’s much too painful…

I’m mesmerized as I watch her small frame pirouette across the open stage. Around and around she dances. Her passion is so severe that I feel it creep down into the depths of my soul. I am captivated by this little slip of a girl taking command of the stage. Isabella is breathtaking as Eurydice from the opera Orpheus and Eurydice. She’s Cole’s cousin, and the only reason we came here on a Friday night. Otherwise, he and I would be out getting laid.

I had no idea what the opera was about, but I clap the loudest once the performers take a bow. I place my fingers between my teeth and give Isabella a few shrill whistles for good measure. With a stupid grin plastered across my face.

After the show, we hang back until the crowd thins. Then we make our way up to the stage. She’s standing in the midst of dozens of roses, looking flushed and beautiful as she spots her cousin. “Cole, I can’t believe you came!” She floats down the steps and flings herself into his arms. I hang back as he spins her around several times before placing her back on her feet.

“Bella, there’s someone here I’d like you to meet. This is my best friend I’m always talking about, Ryker.”

The moment those hazel eyes land on mine, I fall deeply in love. And there is no doubt in my mind, she will be my wife someday.

Lyra

Something wakes me up out of a sound sleep, but I can’t quite put my finger on what it is. When I roll onto my side, I realize I’m alone. I’m guessing Ryker never came back to bed after he took care of his little ‘problem.’ Well, I shouldn’t call it little because it sure as hell looked a lot bigger than anything I’ve ever seen before. Sorry, Gage. I’ve always said it’s not the size of the wave but the motion of the ocean.

The hairs on the back of my neck prickle when I hear Cody whining downstairs. She’s never done that since I arrived. So I cautiously make my way to the head of the stairs and peek over the railing. It appears she has to go outside, and I have no idea where Ryker is. It couldn’t hurt for me to let her out. Could it? As far as I’m concerned, it sure beats having to clean up the mess on the floor.

When I start heading downstairs, Cody meets me half way. Then she begins prancing back and forth the second I hit the landing. “Okay, okay. I’m coming. Please, please, please, don’t run away or your master will kill me,” I whisper. After opening the door, I quickly close it to keep out the cold.

My breath catches when I spin around and see Ryker lying on the couch. One arm thrown haphazardly over his eyes and the other is fisted by his side. He doesn’t look like a monster. So what the hell happened in his past to make him act like one?

I’m not sure how long Cody will be outside, so I decide to curl up in the chair and wait for her. I’ve just wrapped the afghan around me to keep warm when Ryker begins talking in his sleep. It’s muffled so I can’t make out a word he’s saying. Until he screams, “Bella! No…no…no…no…Fuck, Nooooo!” My heart’s pounding out of my chest as he bolts upright, his breathing ragged. He looks so lost and broken when he whispers, “Bella?”

Who’s Bella? Slowly, I get up from the chair and approach him. Once he realizes I’m there, he holds up his hands. “Go to bed, Lyra.”

Immediately, I freeze. “I let Cody out. I—I was waiting for her.” Dammit! I haven’t stuttered in years. Now I can’t stop!

“I’ll let her in when she’s ready. Go on up to bed.” I can tell he’s slowly losing patience with me by the ticking of his jaw.

“Goodnight, Ryker.”

He doesn’t utter a sound. He simply nods. I’m not sure if he’s upset because he let her name slip or if he’s embarrassed by it. Regardless, I climb the stairs like a good little girl, but I don’t go to bed. I sit on the floor behind the banister so he can’t see me. And I keep tabs on Ryker as he buries his face in his hands. I have no clue who Bella is, but one thing’s for certain—she must have broken his heart.

Not long after, Cody begins barking. As soon as Ryker opens the door she comes bounding in. He talks to her, pets her and calms her down before he disappears into the bathroom. When he returns, he lies back down on the couch and lets Cody rest her head on her master’s lap.

I’m guessing Ryker will be spending the night downstairs. I suppose I should be pleased that I have the whole bed to myself. Maybe he was afraid to have another nightmare and he didn’t want to wake me. Yeah, right. I’m sure it has more to do with wanting some space. It’s obvious he wants to be alone. I, on the other hand, crave companionship. A real conversation between two adults. Unfortunately, I don’t think Ryker’s the person to give it to me. Which makes me miss Gage all the more. Now it’s my turn for the waterworks. God, it’s only been a few days. How am I supposed to live the rest of my life without the man I love, without my family and my friends? I can’t and I won’t. Tomorrow, I will start plotting my escape.

Chapter Seven

January

Ryker

Since my nightmare about a month ago, Lyra and I have been coexisting fairly well. She never once mentioned anything to me about that night. So we pretend it never happened. It’s not something I want to talk about, let alone share with her. So we’ve been taking turns sleeping on the couch so we can have our privacy. Actually, I prefer it that way.

Unfortunately, our supplies are dwindling fast. Which means I’ll have to go into town soon. I hate that I have to leave Lyra behind, but I have no other choice. Cody will keep her company. She’ll be her ‘watch dog.’ If Lyra is stupid enough to try and leave, she won’t get too far. The snow is deep and blinding and she would get lost within a mile of the cabin. I suppose if this happens, all my worries would disappear.

Lyra spends the majority of her time in the library. She came across a few notebooks and asked me if she could have them. Truthfully, I’d forgotten they were even there. So she devotes all of her time to writing. Her head bent, filling page after page. I’d like to think she’s writing about yours truly, but that would be presumptuous of me. Whatever it is, it keeps her occupied and out of my hair.

However, I spend my day fighting with my boss. He is none too pleased that I haven’t gotten rid of my excess baggage—Lyra. I’ve told him time and time again that this will never happen. Hawk thinks I’ve made her my sex slave. Whatever! He can think what he damn well pleases. I know for a fact that I’m not getting any. Nada, zilch, zippo. That is why I will be staying in town overnight. I can’t wait to be deep inside that wet and willing woman. Just the thought of Sonia has me hard as fucking steel. No pun intended.

Now that my work is done for the day, I need to blow off some steam. After I change into my workout clothes, I head into the gym and stop short. Lyra is running on the treadmill. Hmm, I know she uses the equipment, but normally it’s after I go to bed. Could it be her way of dealing with her sexual frustration? For all I know, she could be fingering herself in the shower, but I highly doubt it.

I try to pretend she doesn’t exist when I walk into the room. Which is kind of hard to do when she’s looking all flushed and sweaty. Especially when she’s sporting a tank top and wearing a pair of skimpy shorts that barely cover her ass. Shit! I have to stifle down a groan as I walk over to my bag. I’m hoping if I can concentrate long enough on my kickboxing, I’ll be able to get my mind out of the gutter.

So I spend the first fifteen minutes stretching. Then I take the time to tape up my wrists and hands before putting on my gloves. Now, I’m ready to begin. I circle the bag as if it were my opponent. Then I start off with three roundhouse kicks and follow it up with three front kicks before ending with three crescent kicks. Now I want to incorporate my upper body, so I jab the bag with my right hand, throw a front kick and follow it up with a right hook. I do a set of three reps, then work my left side.

Since I’m pretending the bag is my obnoxious boss, I have no idea how much time passes. Sweat drips off of me like rain as I finally lean my hands on my knees and struggle to breathe. Clapping suddenly fills the quiet room as I squint to see through burning eyes. Lyra is standing a foot away. “Bravo! I’m impressed, Ryker. I would have lost my shit within the first ten minutes.” She dabs at my eyes with a towel before patting it over my face to absorb the excess sweat. My chest tightens.

What the fuck? I don’t know why I’m so pissed. Yeah, maybe I do. I’m sexually frustrated. Lyra flinches when I rip the towel from her hand and finish what she started. After she takes a few steps back, I tear off my gloves and throw them to the floor. I know I’m a sick fuck because that’s exactly what I want to do to her. Throw her on the floor, strip all her clothes off and use my tongue on all of her…

“What the hell is your problem, dude?”

Oh, she didn’t just go there. ‘Dude’? Seriously? My brows pinch together as I get into her personal space. “I’m a man, precious. Do. Not. Touch. Me. Unless you want me to reciprocate. My problem is I need to get laid. So, consider yourself forewarned. Tomorrow, I’m going into town for two glorious days, where I will spend the next forty-eight hours buried so deep inside of Sonia, you’ll hear her screaming my name all the way up here.”

Lyra

Finally, after nearly five weeks of being held prisoner in this shithole cabin, I’m going home. Ryker doesn’t know it yet, but he will once he comes home and finds me gone. I’ve been plotting my exit since day one, and now that it’s almost here, I can taste it. I made sure to watch which direction he drove off to when leaving the cabin this morning. He made a left turn at the end of the road, so I will make sure to follow the path left behind by the plow on the front of his truck. And I can follow the compressed tracks of the tires. How long it will take to get into town, I have no idea. So I need to leave soon.

I’ve already stuffed some of my clothes into a duffle bag I found inside his closet. It includes my journals, some bottled water, a handful of snacks, and a thermal blanket. It’s going to be a heavy burden, but I’ll have to manage it. Because there’s no way I’m leaving my innermost thoughts behind.

My only obstacle is Cody. Since he’s decided to leave her here. I’m hoping she’ll follow me into the library and then I can quickly close the door behind me. Trapping her inside. A part of me feels terrible to do that to her, but I know it’s my only way out.

Taking a few deep, cleansing breaths, I stroll into the room, grab the book I’ve been reading and curl up in my favorite chair. And wait patiently. Several minutes tick by as I nervously thumb through the pages. Not comprehending a single word I’ve read. When Cody enters the room and cautiously plops down at my feet, my heart begins to race. My palms grow damp. So much so, that I force myself to sit quietly for a moment or two to calm the fuck down.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi…

Once I’ve counted to a hundred, Cody appears to be sleeping. It’s now or never. Sprinting over her, I don’t look back as I grab the door handle and slam it shut. Immediately, she begins barking and lunges for the door. “I’m sorry, Cody. Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.” I quickly run upstairs, grab my things and head back down. Without a second thought, I throw on my outerwear before stepping into my boots and into the bitter cold that awaits me.

Emotions swirl around me like a blizzard as I march to the end of the road. When out of the blue it hits me. This is the first day I’ve been outside since that fateful day. The day Ryker Steel saved me from the icy fingers of death. Slowly, I spin around to peruse the cabin which has been my prison for the last several weeks. From my vantage point it appears homey and inviting. Not the ominous façade that I believed it to be on a daily basis. I suppose now that I’m on the outside looking in—so to speak—it wasn’t as horrible as I thought it was. I suppose my freedom was a small price to pay considering what the alternative could have been.

Seconds turn into minutes. Then minutes turn into hours. I’m about to collapse when the sun starts to dip below the horizon. Making it abundantly clear that I’ve walked for at least six hours now. Soon, what little warmth it produced will be gone and so will its light. My feet are numb and I can barely feel my fingers.

Shit, shit, shit!

It never even occurred to me to bring a flashlight. I’m so stupid! What the hell am I going to do? I have no choice. I’ll have to camp out here and start fresh in the morning. I’m hoping the thermal blanket I brought with me will be enough to keep me warm. Just when I’m about to step into the woods, I see a set of headlights.

Hell’s bells!

It’s the first vehicle I’ve seen out here all day. Wait! What if Ryker decided to come back early? I squint in the waning light to get a better look. As if answering my silent prayers, the setting sun bathes the vehicle in light for just a second. Clearly, this vehicle is silver. Ryker’s is black! I can barely contain my tears as I begin screaming at the top of my lungs. My arms flail wildly in the air. The passenger side door opens as the SUV comes to a complete stop. I can barely speak as I pop my head inside. “My name’s L-Lyra H-Harper and I was k-kidnapped.”

An older gentlemen with kind eyes smiles down at me. “Well, little lady. It looks like today is your lucky day.”

Chapter Eight

Ryker

The bed of my truck is filled to bursting with everything I’ll need for at least another month. The only provisions I haven’t crammed in there yet are the perishables. Madge, the sweet woman who works at the Minimart, is holding them for me until I’m ready to leave in the morning. I’ve decided to cut my ‘outing’ short since Lyra was acting a bit suspicious before I left.

Now I’m showered, dressed, and ready to make my way over to The Pleasure Palace. My dick is already hard with anticipation. And I hope Sonia is just as eager as I am. Tonight is going to be euphoric. Until my phone pings in my pocket with Hawk’s ringtone.

Son of a bitch!

“What is it, Hawk?!” I shout, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Am I correct in assuming you’re not at home?” I have to refrain from saying ‘duh’ since he knows I have a tracking device in my arm.

“I’m in town, getting supplies. Why?”

“Well, the infrared camera inside your home displays only one warm body, and it’s not human.”

I can’t help the shit-eating-grin on my face as I go flying out the door. Precious, escaped. I didn’t think she had it in her. “I’m on it.”

“This wouldn’t be happening if you had taken care of the problem when I asked you to. Get in touch with me as soon as you’ve taken care of it.” The line goes dead just as I finish paying the tab at the front desk. One more stop and I’m on my way home. Ready or not, precious. Here I come.

Although it’s dark, my heart sinks when I see a fresh set of tire tracks in the snow. Someone was out here. But who? And the million-dollar question is, do they have Lyra? If so, I can pretty much kiss my ass goodbye. My only regret would be not getting laid. Fuck! I’m going to die with blue balls!

I shut off the lights and park a half mile down the road. I grab my Glock and extra clips out of the glove box before heading out. First, I stand very still and listen to my surroundings. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. So I begin walking to the cabin. Hopefully, I can take them by surprise.

As I cautiously approach the cabin, I recognize a familiar vehicle parked in the driveway. It belongs to Hawk! Was that bastard playing me right along? Did he come here to eliminate Lyra like he wanted me to? In a few short strides I’m charging through the front door.

Fuck surprises!

With my hands held high and my knees bent, I aim the gun at my boss’s head. Out of the corner of my eye I see Lyra lying prone on the couch. Relief washes over me, until I realize she’s been gagged and tied. Then I see red. “You set me up. Why?”

Hawk nonchalantly looks at Lyra, then glances back at me before brushing away an imaginary piece of lint. As if he were bored. Prick! “I wanted to see if your balls were big enough for the job. Apparently, they’re not.”

“I will not kill her to save my own ass, Hawk.” Lowering my gun, I quickly walk over to where he’s sitting. He glares up at me when I place my gun in the palm of his hand. “If memory serves me correctly, you owe me. Consider this my payback.”

“Are you seriously going to blow three years of your miserable life on this girl?! In case you’d forgotten, everything you’ve worked so hard for could have been destroyed if someone else had found her. Are you listening to me?!”

I free Lyra from her bindings, then spin around and confront him. “Enough! I’m the one who has to live with the guilt day in and day out. Not you! I will not have her blood on my hands and neither will you. Feel free to let yourself out at any time. Make sure to leave my gun on the table unless you plan on shooting me in the back.” I quickly scoop up Lyra in my arms and proceed to carry her up the stairs. But I can’t help breathing a sigh of relief as the front door opens and closes. The sound of his car starting up is like music to my ears. I know this is far from over, but for now it’s enough. As I lay her down on the bed, my skin prickles. “Cody?”

I hadn’t realized I’d spoken out loud until Lyra whispers, “She’s in the library. I think he might have sedated her. Go.”

Cody is the only connection I have left of Bella. And if Hawk laid a hand on her, he will be a dead man. I take the stairs two at a time and throw the door wide open. I breathe a sigh of relief when I’m met with golden eyes staring up at me. I drop to my knees and bury my face in her silky fur. “Cody, I’m so sorry, girl.” She eagerly licks my face as I pick her up in my arms. “Tonight, we’re all sleeping upstairs so I can keep an eye on both of you.”

Once all ‘my girls’ are settled in for the night, I lock the door behind me and make the trek back to pick up my vehicle. As much as I’d like to put this shit day behind me, I need everything that’s in there. Once I’m home, I spend the next few hours deep in thought as I put everything in its proper place. Wishing my life could have been as neat and orderly as the items I just placed in their home.

Lyra

My head’s spinning. I lie awake, thinking of Ryker. He saved my life. Not once, but twice. And according to the man, Hawk, Ryker’s life is now in danger because of it. I can’t fathom why he would risk his own life to save mine. I’ve even asked myself if I could do the same if the roles were reversed. And I’m ashamed to say I’m not as brave.

I’m so angry that my one and only attempt at freedom was snatched away by the real monster. Ryker is an angel compared to Hawk. The moment I knew he was taking me back to the cabin, I tried to make a run for it. Hence, the reason I was gagged and tied. I’ve never been so completely consumed with fear as he carried me into the house and laid me down on the sofa. Cody went ballistic. Without hesitating, he pulled a syringe out of his pocket and entered the library. The minute she heard his voice she grew quiet. My heart sank when I realized she didn’t consider him a threat. Fear became my only friend when he stalked over, squatting down beside me. Reaching out, he wrapped his thick hand around my throat before whispering, “You are the mirror image of Bella. Now I know why he’s fighting so damn hard to keep you.”

Closing my eyes, I try as hard as I can to erase those words from my memory. But it’s no use. They’re stuck in my head, along with the feeling of his hand against the base of my throat. I desperately want to ask Ryker what those words mean, but I don’t know if he would give me an honest answer. All I do know is that I look a lot like Bella, and maybe that’s the only reason I’m still alive.

I’m awakened when I feel hands glide along my outer thighs. They persist over my ribcage and up my arms, then settle on the tender base of my throat. Immediately, my eyes snap open to see angry black ones locked on mine. My heart beats double time as his fingers skim across my neck. “I’m going to kill that bastard for hurting you, precious,” he whispers.

“I-I’m fine. Really, I am.” Do I tell him I’m sorry? Although I’d risk doing it again in a heartbeat? No. I will never apologize for wanting my freedom! His eyes leave mine only long enough to examine my body before landing back on mine.

“He marked you, Lyra. For that he will surely pay.” What? When his gaze scrutinizes my body once again, I force myself to do the same. I can’t catch my breath when I see red welts covering the entire length of my body. My first thought is Hawk tied the ropes too tight and bruised my delicate skin. My second thought is: Oh, dear god why am I naked?

“You fell asleep in your wet clothes, Lyra. Once again, I removed them just so you wouldn’t catch a chill. No more no less.” Grabbing the blankets, he hastily covers me before straightening up. Without hesitating, I reach out my hand to him. Darkness skitters across his handsome features before he slides his hand into mine.

“Why do you keep saving me, Ryker? Clearly, it would be much easier on everyone if you just killed me.” There. I said it. It’s too late to take it back. I find myself holding my breath waiting for him to answer.

His eyes close for the briefest of moments before their blackness swallows me whole. “Atonement, perhaps.” Unconsciously, his thumb swipes across my wrist. “I’ve done a lot of things in the past that I’m not proud of, but I would never kill someone just because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. So, I’m going to give you my word that one day you will be reunited with your family. It could take months, maybe years, but as soon as I have closure, I promise you that you’ll go home.”

Just the thought of seeing Gage and my family again has me so emotional, I burst into tears. I fling myself at Ryker and wrap my arms around him. He doesn’t reciprocate, but I didn’t think he would. “Thank you,” I whisper through tears.

He pats my back sheepishly. “Precious, if you plan on climbing me like a damn monkey—I should warn you—I never got laid when I went into town.”

Oh. Crap on a cracker.

Chapter Nine

February

Ryker

Since the Hawk debacle a few weeks back, the dynamics between Lyra and I have changed. We’ve become ‘friends’ for lack of a better term. I still work in my office during the day, but at night we have dinner together. And we’ve connected on a whole new level since I’ve given her my word that one day she will be free. So, I’ve earned her trust. And because of that, we are sleeping together. Again. At times, it’s daunting. Falling asleep with the sweet scent of a woman next to me makes me yearn for something I will never possess again.

Waking up to the warm, wet heat of a woman straddling my morning hard-on is the best damn thing on the face of the earth. Until her small hand wraps around my length and she lowers herself, inch by glorious inch, onto my rigid cock. Now this is by far the best thing, ever… My breath catches as I open my eyes and watch this goddess riding me. Her breasts suddenly thrust upward as she arches her back, parts her lips and closes her eyes. Bella is in a league of her own and she’s all mine. My wife.

Grabbing her hips, I impale her over and over again and watch as her exquisite breasts swing freely. My thumb and forefinger eagerly explore one hardened nipple while my other thumb circles her swollen clit. When a low, sexy moan escapes the back of her throat, I grow impatient. Sitting up, I slide my hands around her firm dancer’s ass, up the curve of her spine, and into her long, golden locks. “Ry, I’m so close.”

When her eyes land on mine, I can’t breathe. My heart soars knowing her passion, hunger and desire are not only for the ballet, but for me as well. “I need to taste you, Bell.” My hands frame her face as I roughly pull her mouth to mine. Our tongues are frantic as they explore and devour one another. And as soon as I feel her sweet pussy contract around me I whisper, “I want to feel you come on my cock. Now!” And when she spasms around me, I pump my seed inside of her, prolonging our orgasms in never-ending bliss…

My heart is racing when my eyes pop open. I can feel something acidic clawing its way up my throat. I need air! I stumble out of bed and rush down the stairs in a state of panic. I fumble with the lock on the door before swinging it open. Then I’m sucking in air like it’s my only salvation. Somewhere off in the distance I hear Cody barking, and then a gentle hand caresses my back. Immediately, I shy away from her touch as I realize this is Lyra, not Bella. It was just a dream. A memory. Yet it’s ironic how I’m standing on the doorstep, barefoot, and wearing only my boxers in twenty-degree weather and I can still feel the lingering warmth of her hand as if it were still there. Nothing else. Not the cold or my exposed skin, just the warmth of her hand.

“Are you okay, Ryker?” Lyra’s concern is precious, but I don’t deserve it.

When I turn around I’m actually surprised to see how sincere she truly is. So I secure my arm around her shoulders and move her away from the door. I’m fine when I’m the one doing the touching, but not the other way around. Suddenly, Cody’s a tangled heap at my feet before I have a chance to close the door. “Good morning, girl.” She crouches, waiting. “Go!” That’s all the encouragement she needs before bounding outside.

Lyra chuckles when I close the door behind us. Dropping my arm, I head into the kitchen. “Are you hungry, precious?”

“Ravenous.” She flicks her hand dispassionately. “Go get dressed, I got this today.”

After tugging on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, I blow out a pent up breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. I’m grateful Lyra didn’t ask me any more about my irrational behavior. I’m not sure what I would have told her under the circumstances. She’s never asked about Bella and I’m hoping she never does.

Until I sit down at the table and she whispers, “Ryker. Who’s Bella?”

Fuckity, fuck fuck fuck!

Lyra

His unwavering gaze shreds me from the inside out. He’s angry. And I wish more than anything that I could take it back, but I can’t. “I-I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.” I quickly turn around so my back’s facing him because, really, he looks displeased. Ryker’s eyes are blacker than they’ve ever been and I’m wondering if he’s not the devil incarnate. And I wouldn’t be surprised anymore if his fire-breathing dragon came to life and burnt me to a crisp right where I’m standing. So much for a quiet, peaceful breakfast. Way to go, Lyra.

“You’re right, it’s none of your business.” I flinch as he quickly pushes away from the table. Scraping the chair across the tiled kitchen floor in the process. “I’d appreciate it if you’d let Cody in when she returns,” he snaps before storming into his office.

Me and my big mouth. Not only have I lost my appetite, now I’m crying like a scolded child. What the hell’s wrong with me? In less than two months I’ve been reduced to a sniveling idiot. I’m better than this.

After letting Cody back inside, I head into the library. I’m in no mood to read a romance novel so I grab my notebook and open it up to my very first entry. I have to bite back the tears as I begin reading…

I yearn to feel the sun on my face and to breathe the crisp winter air. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen the light of day and I feel much like a withering flower would feel without sunshine or water. I miss Gage and my family so, so much. I can’t help wondering if they’re out there looking for me. Gage, where are you? I need you! Please, find me. Please! My injuries have healed over time but there’s a constant ache in my heart that simply won’t go away. I am alone. Unless you want me to acknowledge the arrogant bastard who’s holding me captive in a snowy mountain cabin. Never!

Now, I flip back to last night’s entry and my heart splinters into tiny little fragments that lie at my feet.

The monster I once thought he was has disappeared. Now all I can focus on is the complicated man that is Ryker Steel. He’s sad, lonely, and maybe a little bit broken. But I won’t fool myself into believing I can fix him because he has too many scars. Too many for even me to heal. In fact, sometimes I think I can feel the weight of them crushing my chest. Pulling me so far under, I’m drowning in his pain. Why is this happening to me? I’m afraid if I answer that question honestly, I’d have to admit I’m falling for him. His pain has now become mine…

My mother would refer to it as Stockholm Syndrome. It was a significant topic of conversation around our house for months. Especially when she was doing research for an article in The New York Times. I wonder what the hell she’d think of her daughter now. God, if she only knew.

Time passes one tick at a time, and I’m so absorbed in reading my journal that I don’t hear him enter the room. I feel him instead. Ryker has never, ever, invaded my space while I’m in here. Slamming the notebook, I glance up to see him frowning. Unconsciously, I brace myself for what’s to come.

One hand combs through his hair while the other clutches the doorframe. He seems nervous and that’s so unlike the assertive man I’ve come to know. It makes me edgy.

“I’ve decided to spend the night in town. Can I trust you to stay by yourself, or should I handcuff you to my bed?”

My heart flutters. I’m not certain if it’s the mention of the handcuffs or the reason why he’s going that has me in such turmoil. And why should I care whether he stays or goes? I know why, because I don’t want to be left alone. I’m afraid and I hate feeling weak. And I’m even more ashamed when his gaze finally lands on mine and I whisper, “Please don’t go.”

“I’ll be home in less than twenty-four hours, precious. Just be thankful I’m letting you choose between handcuffs or your freedom. What will it be?”

I remember all too well what happened the last time I tried to escape. So I wipe away a stray tear and lift my chin in defiance. “Freedom.”

Chapter Ten

Ryker

Lyra’s sad hazel eyes are begging me to stay. But I can’t. Because this is a test. To see if she can be trusted. Hawk insisted on it and since he’s still my boss, I have to comply. He was quick to remind me that Lyra is my responsibility now. As far as I’m concerned she has been since day one.

After throwing some clean clothes and a few personal items in my overnight bag, I head downstairs. She’s brooding on the couch and something inside of me thaws. Oh, for fuck’s sake! This is also one of the reasons why I have to get the hell out of here. Precious makes me feel things I shouldn’t be allowed to feel. Ever.

“Cody. Come.” Lyra’s head turns as I squat down. “You’re staying with Lyra, understand?” She barks once and glances at Lyra. “Good girl. Go.” Cody gives me a few wet kisses before plopping down by Lyra’s feet.

As I reach out to open the front door, she cautions, “Make sure you double up on those condoms, Ryker. I don’t want any creepy crawly things in my bed, besides you.” I can’t help chuckling when I close and lock the door behind me. If she only knew this was a test instead of a quest to get laid. Would she be livid or pleased? Truthfully, maybe a little of both.

When Hawk suggested I do this ASAP, I called The Pleasure Palace to make an appointment with Sonia. Imagine my disappointment when they told me she was already booked up for the week. I know if I had talked to her directly she would have cancelled one of her clients in a heartbeat. That woman would do anything for me. I mean anything.

So I’m going to spend the night in my hotel room. Alone. If it were a five-star hotel with room service and a maid, I might not be so disheartened. Unfortunately for me, it’s a seedy motel with those annoying neon lights that flash on and off. All goddamn night long. Which will assuredly make me one grumpy bastard first thing in the morning. I’ll desperately need coffee, so I make a mental note to punch it into my GPS so I can find the nearest donut hole in the morning.

When I pull into the parking lot of the rundown motel and only see two other cars, I’m appalled. Since they rent by the hour, I’m sure the parking lot will be full when the hookers start walking the beat. Great! I’m sure the walls are so paper-thin I’ll be hearing the headboards banging all night long. I actually use the hem of my shirt to grab ahold of the doorknob before entering the office. Because Lyra’s words come back to haunt me. Creepy crawlies. Now I have a mental picture of cockroaches and bedbugs crawling over me as I sleep. Wonderful.

To top it all off, there’s a sweaty, overweight man behind the counter who hasn’t bathed or shaved in probably a week. I know this firsthand because he smells of onions and cigars. Either that or something done died in here. I am so going to kill Hawk with my bare hands the next time I see him!

“By the hour or the day?” the clerk asks before his bloodshot eyes greet mine. Fabulous!

“I have a reservation. Jonathan Day, just for tonight.” I don’t bother pulling out my fake ID because really, why would he care.

He throws a key on the counter and flips around the log book so I can sign in. “You’re in room thirteen and the tabs been paid already. Be out by ten a.m. or I’ll charge the credit card for another day.” I don’t bother wasting my breath to let him know I’ll be long gone by then. I grab the key, rush outside and breathe deeply, filling my lungs with crisp, clean air. It gets worse the moment I place the key inside the lock and push open the sticky door. Stains line the carpet as far as I can see. The bed is a pit of despair and the bathroom is uninhabitable. Suddenly, all I want is Lyra’s sweet scent wrapped around me in my nice clean bed. Unfortunately, it’s not happening tonight.

I don’t bother undressing or taking off my shoes. I just lean against the rickety old headboard and grab my laptop out of my overnight bag. Now, let’s see what precious is up to tonight. Lyra has no clue about the cameras in every room. It’s for my own protection, but I’m sure she would be livid if she knew. Once I’ve put in my password and adjusted the Wi-Fi settings, I sit back and wait. And there she is…

She’s in my bed, with one hand shoved between her thighs. Precious is masturbating! Damn if my cock doesn’t twitch at the sight of her rubbing one out. She’s covered from the waist down but I’m instantly hard when her thumb and forefinger pull and pinch at her taut nipple. While her hand works at breakneck speed beneath the sheets. I’m so fucking turned on that I’m unzipped in two point two and I’m fisting my cock. Pre-cum at the ready. So I quickly pick up my pace to match hers and by the time she throws her head back and parts her lips, I’m right there with her.

My back hurts and my neck is stiff when I wake up the following morning. I fell asleep, sitting up in bed with my arms crossed and my head bent at an odd angle. After working out the kinks in my neck and back, I slam the door to motel hell and stride into the office. According to the lopsided kitty clock hanging on the wall, it is six a.m. when I toss my keys onto Mr. Sweaty’s desk. Without a word, I slam the door behind me and throw my bag into the front seat of my SUV. After picking up my large black coffee with two turbo shots, I hightail it out of there. With one goal in mind: a scalding hot shower.

The minute I open the door, Cody’s right there to greet me. Lyra, on the other hand, is a no-show. No problem. I’m not up for conversation right at the moment. For some reason, the drive home made me tense and restless. Normally, it calms me. Not a happening thing today.

After throwing my bag on the bed and taking a change of clothes, I head back downstairs, just as Lyra strolls out of the library. Shit! I was hoping to avoid her after what I witnessed last night. Instantly, our gazes lock and neither of us dares to breathe. Tension fills the room, so thick and clawing it’s suffocating. Then she makes it worse by speaking. “You look like hell, Ryker. Is Sonia too much of a woman for you to satisfy?”

I have two choices: walk away or tell her the truth. In two long strides I’m invading her personal space. When she tries to take a step back, I restrain her by wrapping my arms around her. She’s secure, with her arms pinned at her sides. “I didn’t go into town to get laid, precious. Although, if Sonia had been available, I would have made her my top priority. It was just a business trip. So beware, Lyra, I’m just as sexually frustrated today as I was the day I found you. And since you refuse to help me out, I’m off to take matters into my own hands.” I lightly brush my lips along her jawline before releasing her. Lyra sways like a reed on a windy day as I try hiding a shit-eating grin. Whether she wants to admit it or not, I arouse her.

After I’ve washed all the creepy crawlies off of me from the hotel room, I rest my hands against the glassy tile. Letting the heat from the piping hot water seep into my weary bones. Once I’ve had enough, I wrap my hand around my thickening cock. Stroking. As my heart kicks up a notch when Lyra’s image invades my thoughts. And when the bathroom door suddenly bursts wide open, she’s no longer in my mind, she’s standing in the fucking bathroom. Watching me.

Lyra

My feet have a mind of their own when I step inside the bathroom. Unfortunately, it takes my brain a minute or two to play catch up. I don’t care. Not when I can still feel his warm lips skimming along my jaw. I want to be here. God help me, I do. My heart flutters when the steam begins to evaporate. Revealing a muscular physique through the clear curtain. I’m captivated as I witness the water ripple and caress over every taut muscle on his beautiful body. Confirming what I already knew. The water loves the feel of his skin just as much as I do.

I’m nervous, so I start counting.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three…

I inhale sharply when Ryker’s head snaps up. While his smoldering gaze locks me in place. He doesn’t flinch, or miss a beat as he continues to pleasure himself. Watching me. Watching him. I desperately want to go to him, but I’m afraid he’ll reject me. He must sense my indecision, so he opens the curtain. Letting me make this irrevocable choice. And I know once I’ve crossed the line, there’s no turning back.

My heart’s beating out of my chest when I slowly inch my way inside. I’m hesitant whereas Ryker exudes confidence. So he reaches for my hand and helps me take that final step. Our gaze never wavers as he pulls me into the shower, clothes and all. My body has never reacted like this with anyone. Ever. Not even Gage. Like I’m on fire from the inside out. Ryker’s sexual dominance frightens me. So much so that it causes me to blow out a breath before a whimper catches in my throat.

What the hell am I doing?

He doesn’t say a word when he pulls my shirt over my head. Or when he pulls my panties down around my ankles. And his eyes never leave mine until I’m naked and fully exposed for his scrutinizing stare. I desperately want to cover myself up but he grabs my wrists and holds them firmly in his grasp. I can’t watch as he begins his thorough examination, so I cast my gaze downwards and become fixated on his length, his girth, and...

Holy mother of god! His cock is pierced.

I’m in way over my head with this man. “What is that?”

I shiver when his husky voice whispers in my ear, “It’s called an apadravya, and it’s for your pleasure. Do you want me, precious?”

Yes… yes… yes… yes…yes! God, yes!

A voice I don’t even recognize whispers, “Yes, I do.” Was that me?

His laugh is so deep and sensual that it makes my clit throb. When he tucks two fingers beneath my chin and tries to persuade me to look up at him, I wonder if he likes what he sees.

Ryker’s dark gaze is my undoing when he struggles to speak. “What made you change your mind Lyra? I need to know.”

Should I tell him the truth? Something tells me if I don’t, he would know. “I don’t want you going into town to seek pleasure, when I’m here. With you.”

He tilts his head to the side as he contemplates what I’ve said. I have to swallow down the lump in my throat while I wait. “You’d be wise not to surrender to me, precious, until you hear my stipulations. If you accept my offer, then we can continue. If not…” he shrugs.

I’m breathless when he picks up the soap in his skillful hands and begins lathering my body. All thoughts cease to exist as he washes me in all of my intimate places. Am I feeling guilty? Absolutely. Will I regret it tomorrow? Possibly. But, if Ryker and I are in this for the long haul, why not. We are two consenting adults with one goal in mind. Release.

Ryker reaches around to turn off the water just as it becomes tepid. Then he quickly grabs his towel and proceeds to wrap it around me. At this point, I think I’d agree to just about anything this man could give me, and then some. I’ve just tied the towel over the swell of my breasts when I notice the hunger in his gaze. Without a doubt, the sexual attraction I feel for this man is extremely volatile.

“Are you ready to hear what I have to offer?” When I nod, his thumb sweeps across those sexy-as-sin lips. Repressing a smile? With one quick flick of his wrist, my towel is down around my ankles. And before I have a chance to catch my breath, my back’s pressed tightly against his chest. My body’s pulsating with need, when he splays his large hands across my abdomen. All the while, his thumbs stroke over the soft outline of my breasts. “This is the way I will take you, precious. From behind. I do not do missionary because I will not kiss you, stare into your eyes, or whisper words of love. But I can promise you this: I will sate your hunger, quench your thirst and fulfill your every desire. And when I allow you to come, it will be the most satisfying release you will have ever experienced. So tell me, are you in or out?”

I don’t hesitate. “I’m in.” I know the second those words leave my lips, I just sold my soul to the devil. But it’s too late to change my mind when he scoops me up in his arms and carries me up the stairs. I’m still trying to convince myself a physical relationship is better than nothing when he lays me down on the bed. I know there’s no way I could live without some kind of connection on a daily basis for the next few months, or god forbid, years. It would break me.

My breath hitches when Ryker slowly blankets me with his body, covering every inch of my small frame. His erection is thick and hard against my thigh. And my heart pitter-patters like a frightened bird when his penetrating stare locks on mine. “Do you trust me, precious?”

Everything my father preached to me about men goes flying out the window as a whispered, “Yes” expels from my lips. Daddy would be so disappointed in me. Not to mention, Gage, my mother, and my best friend, Kennedy. Please, forgive me!

“Lyra, are you listening to me?” When I nod, a silent tear makes its fateful escape. Abandoned. Forgotten. Just like me… “Good. Now I need you to feel me…”

After closing my eyes, I begin exploring this fine specimen of a man. Although, I know this is wrong on so many levels, I can appreciate all the hard work he’s done to keep his body fit. My hands seem to have a mind of their own as they glide up his sinewy forearms. Skim over his biceps. Slide down his flexing pectorals before fondling his defined six-pack. Slipping my arms around his slim waist, I skim my hands along his lean hips. Then hesitantly run them up and over his tight ass, before ending the journey with my fingertips dancing along his broad back. When my eyes flutter open I can see how affected he is by my thorough exploration.

“That was very stimulating, precious, but if you had let me finish I was going to tell you to feel me with your mind and body, not with your hands.”

What? He said he wanted me to feel? Dammit! He’s right, I never gave him the chance to finish his sentence before my roaming hands took over. I’m so damned embarrassed that I quickly cover my face with my ‘wandering’ hands.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Lyra. Here, give me your hands and keep your eyes closed.” Grabbing my hands, he wraps my fingers around the slats of the headboard and whispers, “Hold on tight.” And then his mouth and his hands are everywhere.

My back arches off the bed when his hands knead my aching breasts and his warm mouth latches onto my nipple. Sucking, flicking and biting until I’m throbbing with need. My hands clench and unclench on the slats of the bed, as desire infiltrates every part of my being. I whimper when his mouth laves my tender breasts, but is soon replaced with a moan when his lips begin moving south.

Yes, yes, yes.

My heart beats staccato when he spreads me wide with his large hands and places himself at my center. But it’s soon replaced with embarrassment as his fingertips gently fondle my stupid birthmark. I suddenly want to run and hide until I hear him whisper, “Beautiful.” What? When I open my eyes to see his intense gaze staring back at me, I’m breathless. And then he breaks the connection as soon as his tongue replaces his fingers. I’m in ecstasy. Ryker doesn’t know it, but he’s branding me with his touch, searing me with his mouth and setting me on fire with his tongue.

Unconsciously, my hands seek the thickness of his hair. “Lyra, no hands!” In a matter of seconds he’s off the bed, opening the bedside table and holding a pair of handcuffs.

I’m trembling when he picks me up, swivels me around to face the headboard, and handcuffs me to the damn bed! “Dammit, Ryker! This was not part of the deal—”

I’m just as stunned when he lies on his back, picks me up and murmurs, “Sit on my face, precious. I want you to come in my mouth.”

Oh, sweet baby Jesus!

With his hands gripping my waist, he can easily slide me back and forth. The gentle roughness of his beard, grazing every intimate part of me. Eliciting both pleasure and pain. At this moment, I’m so lost that I don’t want to be found. “Oh, Ryker. Yes. Just like that.” His lips wrap around my clit as he pulls me into his mouth. Flicking the sensitive bud with his tongue. Over and over again until my muscles clench and I’m coming all over his face.

Once my breathing’s slowed, he picks me up and places me on my knees. “I’m giving you the option to lie on your stomach, or I can take you like this. What’s it going to be?”

I’m so relaxed from my orgasm I purr, “Like this.” A scream catches in my throat when Ryker claims me from behind in one deep thrust. He’s so big and I’m so small that my knees feel like they’re about to buckle. So I do the only thing I can. I hold on to the headboard for dear life as he impales me from behind with his thick, hard cock. One of his arms covers my breasts, while his hand splays across my abdomen. Supporting me. My scent still lingers on his lips when he leans in to whisper, “Can you feel me now, precious?” Yes, oh god yes. His piercing massages my sweet spot with every thrust of his hips. It’s fucking erotic and feels so damn good…

Ryker’s dirty mouth might be considered obscene to some people, but to me, it lights a fire deep inside of me. Now that I’ve adjusted to his extremely large size, I can feel myself climbing once again. I desperately want to reach down to touch that little bundle of nerves, but I can’t! He handcuffed me to the damn bed. It’s as if he can read my mind when his hand suddenly reaches between my thighs. Using just the right amount of pressure to push me over the edge. “Oh, god. I’m coming, Ry…”

Chapter Eleven

Ryker

Lyra looked so damn beautiful splayed out across my bed last night. With her pale skin glowing from the moonlight that filtered into the darkened room. It was picture perfect. In fact, the whole scenario could have easily been created from one of those made-for-TV movies. You know, the exact same ones they play on the Hallmark or Lifetime channels. Fuck me. I knew deep down that’s what she wanted all along. I could see it in her eyes. Lyra craves some kind of connection. This being the only reason I ever agreed to this façade in the first place. I just pray she doesn’t leave me to drown in those somber hazel eyes. It could very well be my undoing.

Especially since I’ve been sitting in the kitchen, clutching the same cold cup of coffee that I poured myself hours ago. Feeling both physically and emotionally drained. I’m hoping it has something to do with lack of caffeine or not enough sleep. Not the fact that I couldn’t finish what I started last night. That’s never happened before. Ever. I literally froze when Lyra screamed out my name as she was coming. She called me ‘Ry’ with such conviction and so much passion that for a moment I thought she was my wife. Until my brain processed the fact that it was Lyra and not Bella. So, I did the only thing I could. I took off her cuffs, threw on my boxers and rushed downstairs. And I’ve been sitting down here ever since.

I feel numb. So much so, that I don’t hear Lyra approach until her hand gently squeezes my shoulder. “Look, I’m the one who propositioned you. So don’t beat yourself up about it just because you weren’t feeling it, Ryker.”

Is she fucking serious?

Is that what she thinks? That I wasn’t feeling her?

Lyra squeals when I suddenly bolt out of the chair, throw her over my shoulder and carry her up the stairs. My head is pounding to the same rhythm of my heart as I toss her on the bed. And when she scrambles to get away, I grab her by the ankles and pull her close to the edge. When her frightened eyes lock on mine, I see a deer caught in headlights, accepting its death with trepid determinism. Because she is surrendering to me with the same grace and courage as a deer just before I squeeze the trigger. Fortunately for Lyra, the only gun I’m packing is the one in my boxers.

Her breath falters when my hands pull apart her shirt, tearing it to shreds. My enthusiasm instantly causes her nipples to pebble beneath the thin fabric of her bra. Beautiful. When my hands tangle in the waistband of her pants, she immediately cries out, “Ryker, stop! Please. I don’t have enough clothes to go around for you to destroy!” Reluctantly, I let go.

My fists clench and unclench at my sides when she begins undressing. And in a matter of seconds she’s stripped bare. Waiting. My chest aches at the sight of her. What the hell is happening to me? Lyra is the one who insisted on playing the game, but I have a gut feeling that I will be the one to lose.

“In my haste, I forgot to tell you one very important stipulation, precious. Do not. I repeat, do not call me ‘Ry’ under any circumstances. You may scream out ‘Ryker’, ‘God’ or even ‘Gage’ for all I care, but not that nickname.” An invisible string tugs at my heart when her bottom lip trembles at the mention of her boyfriend. I’m such an ass, but I quickly suppress the sentiment when I reach out to lay her on my bed.

My cock is throbbing by the time I slip out of my boxers and mount her like a damn dog in heat. I would love nothing better than to bury myself inside her slick folds. But, first, I want the taste of her on my tongue. Slowly, I skim my hands over the swell of her hips and the narrow curve of her waist, before cupping her soft, rounded breasts in my palms. The warmth of her skin against mine is fucking intoxicating. And when my mouth closes around a very taut nipple, she breathes out my name, “Ryker.” Lyra is so responsive to my touch that I convince myself this is just foreplay. It’s not me longing for some kind of connection of my own. Seriously, who the fuck am I kidding?

I have an overwhelming need to ravish every inch of her. So I do. Feeling, licking, and biting my way down her slender body. And when I see her pussy already glistening in anticipation, I fucking lose it and bury my face at her center. I can’t stop myself from devouring her as I swipe my tongue from her puckered little opening to her swollen clit. The sweet taste of her on my tongue is my kryptonite. My aphrodisiac. I alternate between sucking, flicking, and lapping with the flat of my tongue until her back arches off the bed. “Yes… Oh god, Ryker…” I watch Lyra fist the sheets when I push two fingers inside of her. Sending her over the edge, while my tongue continues to lick up every last delectable drop. When her orgasm begins to fade, I nibble my way back up her body and flip her onto her side, so her back is pressed securely against my chest.

“Can you feel it, precious?” I ask, as my cock glides along her slippery folds, massaging her sensitive clit. “Because I sure as hell can.” I lift her leg and wrap it around my hip. Then I slowly sink inside of her and curl my arm around her neck. Holding her firmly in place. “Do you feel how hard I am for you, Lyra?”

“Mm, you feel so good…”

“Then don’t ever doubt if I’m feeling it,” I whisper. When her hand clutches the back of my neck, my heart fragments. It’s obvious my cock inside of her isn’t enough. She craves intimacy. Everything, I cannot and will not give her. But if she only knew that this was the first time I’ve felt alive in years, she might want something I’m not capable of giving her. Passion is the one emotion I refuse to ever struggle with again. It’s too intense and all-consuming.

“I’m going to fuck you until you’ve come so many times you beg me to stop.” Lyra moans as her muscles pulsate around my aching dick. It seems my little minx likes my sexually explicit banter in the bedroom. And I’m easily addicted to her little whimpers and mews. But I want her to be more vocal, and I know exactly what she needs. So I bury my hand between her thighs and strum her clit like a musician.

“Please… I need to come. Please…”

“Do you want to be fucked?” She refuses to look at me, but nods her head. Unfortunately for Lyra, she has no way of knowing the Pandora’s Box she’s just opened by giving herself to me. I’m a very, very wicked man. “I want to hear those two little words roll off your tongue, precious. Tell me. Now.”

“Fuck me… please.” Uncontrollable lust courses through my veins when her hips suddenly rock into mine. Pushing me balls-deep inside of her tight, wet heat.

“I’m going to make you come. So. Damn. Hard.” My hand continues its assault on her swollen nub as I impale her with my cock. Over and over again. Until her sweet walls start tightening. Constricting. Convulsing. To the point where we’re spiraling out of control. Impulsively, my teeth sink into the fleshy part of her neck. Not hard enough to draw blood. Just enough to mark her delicate skin. Pure ecstasy fills my loins with the taste of her on my tongue. With a roar, I explode inside of her.

Best… Damn… Orgasm… Ever!

When I’ve finally come down from my long-awaited orgasmic bliss, I’m acutely aware of her snuggling against my chest. This is not acceptable! And when she grabs my hand and threads her fingers hesitantly through mine, I know I’ve overstayed my welcome. Without a moment’s pause, I extricate myself from her and the situation. Bending down, I pick up her shirt so I can place it between her glistening thighs. Then I bend down to whisper, “Don’t fall for me, precious. I will destroy you...”

Lyra

The cabin’s toasty warm this morning when I mosey into the library. I’m instantly drawn to the big bay window where the sun’s beckoning me. I love curling up on the windowsill like a contented cat to sip my morning coffee. And when I start thinking how this room used to be my favorite less than twenty-four hours ago, I laugh like a silly schoolgirl. It’s not anymore. Now the bedroom is by far my new favorite room.

But as I gaze out the window, my first coffee-induced thought of the day goes to… Ryker. How dare he think I could ever fall for him? Most days, I don’t even like him much. He’s controlling, dispassionate, and downright cocky. Every quality I hate in a man and try to stay as far away from as humanely possible. Arrogant bastard! Unfortunately for me, though, he’s the only contact I have. And I require some kind of mental and emotional stimulation on a daily basis. After last night, there’s no doubt in my mind that Ryker’s more than up for the task.

He has an animal magnetism that downright seduces me. Much in the same way a magnet would be drawn to a piece of metal, or in my case a hunk of ‘Steel.’ Last night it enticed us, until his hands and mouth were on me, in me, and setting my body on fire. He fucked me hard and fast and in the light of day, I’m ashamed to admit, I loved every minute of it. For the life of me, I can’t ever recall being filled and drilled quite like that before. And when he said he would sate my hunger, he did that and more. So for now, we will use each other for pleasure until the day he sets me free.

Stop it, Lyra! Do not let yourself be consumed by him. Not here. Not ever! I promised myself I would leave all thoughts of him behind when I stepped into this room today. The library’s my one and only sanctuary, where I reminisce about the past. It’s the one place where I allow myself to grieve about what I’ve lost—Gage, my family, and my freedom—and pray that someday we will be reunited once again. But today is not the same as yesterday. And tomorrow will not be the same as today. Because I’ve slept with the devil and I fear I will never be the same again.

Out of nowhere, my lip begins to quiver. And the tears soon follow. One at a time. Until silent tears are coursing down my cheeks with no end in sight. And when Gage’s sweet face flickers in my mind’s eye, I’m remorseful. I slept with another man. No, Lyra, you fucked him! Oh sweet Jesus, how can Gage ever forgive me for what I’ve done? I press my knees tightly against my chest and wrap my arms around them. Now I’m sobbing like a child as guilt chews me up, only to spit me back out. Until I feel empty and alone.

I feel Ryker, long before I can see him. He has such a commanding presence that when he enters a room, my body senses him long before my mind acknowledges him. I take a shuddering breath when his hand gently squeezes my shoulder. “What’s wrong, Lyra?”

Is he effing kidding? He kidnapped me, fucked me, and refuses to let me leave and he has the audacity to ask what’s wrong? The next thing I know, I’m hurling myself at him once again. Sending my abandoned mug crashing to the floor. When my fists begin pounding against his solid chest, he grabs ahold of my wrists in one hand and spins me around with the other. Everything happens so fast that it leaves me breathless. And I’m pissed when his right arm immobilizes me with such force that I can barely breathe. “Take a few deep breaths and I’ll let you go. Breathe, precious.”

“What’s the matter, Ryker? Did you forget to bring a syringe today?” Immediately, he loosens his hold on me, but doesn’t let go. Without the pressure, my chest heaves. Sweet air fills my lungs to near bursting, making me lightheaded and dizzy. Together, we walk back to the window ledge and he sets me down. Pressing his hand to the back of my neck, he pushes my head down between my knees. When I begin to struggle, he says, “You’re hyperventilating, Lyra. Don’t fight me!”

As soon as I relax, he lets go. So why am I sad? Isn’t that what I wanted? For him to leave me alone in the only room where I can actually be Lyra Rose Harper and not his ‘precious’? Ryker needs to know how I really feel before my body betrays me. I slowly raise my head with my eyes closed so the room isn’t spinning around me. And after I’ve composed myself, only then do I begin to speak in a calm and rational manner. “I’m sorry if I’m out of control, but wouldn’t you feel a little frantic if you were cooped up day in and day out? With the exception of my little ‘excursion,’ I’ve been stuck in this damn house for over two months now. I need fresh air, Ryker. I need to feel the warmth of the sun against my skin. And the only time I have is in this room with my face pressed against the cold window.” As hard as I’m trying to keep it together, my voice starts to tremble.

“Precious, I thought we had an understanding…”

“My name’s Lyra! Not ‘precious’. I have loving parents and a boyfriend who adores me. I had a job I loved and the most amazing friends. Because of you, I will never see any of them again. And to top it all off, you fucked me without any protection. So now I’m going to be a dying pregnant woman because of some communicable disease you picked up from The Pleasure Palace.” I’m so angry that I hadn’t realized I was poking his chest with my index finger. Until he grabs my wrist and I fall apart.

I feel myself floating as a pair of strong arms lifts me into the air. Ryker cradles me in his lap before sitting in the chair. I want to hate him so badly but when his large hands begin to gently stroke my back, I just can’t. His voice sounds thick with emotion when he speaks. “Lyra is a very beautiful name but you will always be precious to me.” I shiver when his lips lightly graze the corner of my mouth. “And I’ve already given you my word that one day you will be reunited with your loved ones. I’m sorry if I can’t be more date-specific, but it will happen. And since I’ve only ever had one partner at The Pleasure Palace and I’ve always worn a condom, I think it’s safe to say you won’t die of any diseases in the near future. And you can’t get pregnant because you have an implant. Besides, it would be kind of hard for me to impregnate you when I only shoot blanks.”

For a minute there, I lost all train of thought when he said I was going home. Until it dawns on me what he just said. “How did you know about…?”

“The implant is in your left arm. I’ve known it was there since day one. It was either that or an RFID chip, and since no one has found you, I ruled it out. And before you ask, I had a vasectomy. I’m not the least bit interested in procreating, so it was an easy decision for me.”

Wow. I’ve never met a man who willingly had his junk snipped. The few men I know who have had the procedure did so because their wives gave them the ultimatum. Vasectomy or no sex. So, I can’t stop myself from glancing up at him. And when our eyes connect, it’s impossible for him to hide the sadness behind them. As we stare into each other’s eyes, I’m acutely aware of the reason I’m here. Ryker needs me and that scares the bejesus out of him.

Chapter Twelve

Ryker

I’ve emphasized on several occasions that I don’t do intimacy. So why the hell is Lyra nestled in my lap, looking at me like she knows every dirty little secret I’ve spent a lifetime trying to hide? Could it be because I’ve become weak-willed?

Ab-so-fucking-lutely!

Somehow, she’s burrowed her way beneath my thickened skin without batting an eyelash. But, unfortunately for me, it’s too little too late. I’ve played that game before and look where it’s gotten me. Three years of sorrow, heartache and isolation, because I refused to live in the real world without Bella. And now the one woman who mysteriously appears looks like the one I’ve been grieving all those years. If karma does exist, she must be laughing her ass off right about now.

I’m the first to break eye contact when her tongue darts out to moisten her lips. Now my main focus is on her mouth and my libido is conjuring up all kinds of kinky things she could do with those pink-pouty lips. If I don’t try and defuse the situation, Lyra could well be on her knees with my pants down around my ankles. It sounds like a wonderful idea to me but I have to remind myself that she’s not Sonia. With that in mind, I’m going to neutralize the situation before it even has a chance to begin.

“You’re absolutely right, Lyra. I have just the right thing in mind for the both of us to get a bit of fresh air.” And to cool me off. I place my hand on her waist as I try to stand, forcing her to slide off of my lap. “We’ll need to dress warm, so stay here while I get our things.”

After rummaging around in the hall closet, I find exactly what I’m looking for. It will be big on her small frame but at least she’ll be warm. “Here, put this on first, and don’t forget your boots. Make sure to grab your hat and gloves and then meet me outside in ten minutes.”

Cody prances by my feet in anticipation when I open the front door. She knows we’re going on an adventure since all of us are dressing to go outside. “Go!” I command, as she takes off out the door. The minute I head towards the shed she’s right by my side. Cody knows exactly what’s on my agenda when I slip into my suit.

The 600 Indy Voyageur is in great shape, so the only thing I need to do is put on the passenger seat. It was free when I purchased my Polaris snowmobile, and I never thought I’d have a need for it since I live alone. Now I’m glad I took it. Since I have a ‘guest’ living with me. I know I’m breaking every single rule I ever made by taking her out, but I’m not too concerned. My closest neighbor lives about five miles away. Supposedly, she has her own cooking show on the Food Network. Go figure.

As soon as I turn the key, she purrs to life. It’s certainly not my Ducati, but it’s the closest thing I have during the winter months. I can’t help chuckling when I pull up to the front door, where Lyra is standing with her mouth agape. “Hey, you’re the one who wanted some fresh air.” She smiles as I hand her a helmet. “It’ll be big, just like your suit, but you’ll need it.”

“Is that your clever way of telling me this beast isn’t safe?” she asks.

I hold out my hands in surrender. “The snowmobile is, but I have my doubts about the driver.” My hands literally tremble when her laughter echoes over the snow-covered hills. It unnerves me more than I care to admit. I’d like to think it’s because I’ve made her happy. Yeah. Who the fuck am I kidding?

Once she climbs onto the passenger seat, I ask, “Have you ever been on the back of a bike?” When she shakes her head, I give her a few quick tips. Then we’re off.

We rode for about an hour or so before Lyra needed to stretch her legs. I knew the seat couldn’t have been too comfortable, so I suggested we walk for a bit. Since her suit was way too big, she had to work twice as hard to place one foot in front of the other. But, all in all, she seemed to be enjoying our little excursion. We both laughed at Cody when she decided to start chasing the birds. Perhaps, she believed she was protecting us from a possible bird attack. Crazy dog. On our way back to the snowmobile I was able to point out a few general landmarks that wouldn’t give away our actual location. In the end, it turned out to be a great day. By the time we make it safely home we’re both exhausted.

When I drop Lyra off at the front of the house she asks, “Would you like something hot or cold to drink?”

“A hot cup of coffee with a splash of Johnnie Walker would hit the spot.” She gives me a thumbs up as she heads inside with Cody close behind.

After removing my suit, I quickly wipe down the snowmobile and head back to the house. But the minute I round the corner, I stop dead in my tracks. Fuck! Hawk is leaning against his car door with two of his associates flanking him. This is unacceptable. Hawk is the only person on the face of this Earth who is supposed to know where I live. Now my cover has definitely gone down the shitter. Great! Is this his way of retaliating because I refused to dispose of Lyra?

“What the hell, Hawk?” Cody begins barking the instant she hears my angry tone. I just pray that Lyra is smart enough to lock the fucking door.

“Once again, Dragon, you disappoint me. Only this time, there were no humans or animals on the infrared cameras, so I had to come check it out for myself. Apparently, you haven’t learned a thing from the last time I was here.” With a snap of his fingers, I’m looking down the barrel of two Glocks.

“So it’s come down to this. You’re going to have your henchmen shoot an unarmed man? Is it because you’re afraid to get blood on your own, Hawk? You’ve been wanting me dead for a long time now, so why don’t you just do it and get it over with.” I take a few deep breaths and become one with my surroundings. My training immediately kicks in and I’m ready to rock and roll. I’m so fucking pissed! I let down my guard for Lyra and now we might pay the ultimate price.

“They’re not going to kill you, Dragon. They’re merely here to finish what you could not.”

“Why would you kill an innocent girl? Is it because she looks just like Bella? She was your daughter for fuck’s sake.” Hawk is not only my boss, but he was my father-in-law as well. Now he’s just a demented stranger who is obviously hell-bent on revenge. My vision blurs. All I see is red as I sweep my foot out in front of me, causing Hawk to drop to his knees like a lead balloon. I bend down and quickly place him in a chokehold, forcing him back up.

Time stands still when Cody charges through the open door with Lyra close behind. But my heart gets lodged in my throat when I see the Glock clutched tightly in her trembling hand. Fuck! I know for a fact it’s not loaded. Did she put a clip in? “Lyra! Go back inside.” I’m furious when she ignores me.

“Put your guns down or I’ll snap his neck without blinking,” I shout at the dark-suited men. “Now!” No one moves. If they didn’t know before, they do now. One command from me and Cody will rip them apart. Yes, they have weapons. But by the time they pull the trigger one of them would be dead.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I hear a familiar male voice. “Put your fucking guns away you bunch of douchebags.” Six men all dressed in black, yes, I know it sounds cliché, come strolling out of the woods with their guns held high. My best friend Cole is front and center. One side glance from him and the goons immediately put away their firearms. Then his focus turns to me and Hawk. “Well, well, well. Fancy meeting you here, Ryker.” What the hell!

“Cole. I’m so glad you were able to join the party.”

“It’s so nice to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor. Let me take care of this little problem. Then I’ll meet you inside.” I’m shocked when he grabs Hawk, slaps on a pair of cuffs and starts reading him his rights.

What the bloody hell is going on?

When I finally look down at Lyra, it’s obvious she’s barely holding it together. So I slip one arm under her knees and lift her up so I can hold her close. “Cody, come.” When we walk back to the house I just have to ask her, “Did you remember to load the gun, precious?” She shakes her head before a panic-stricken laugh suddenly bubbles up from deep inside of her. “We’re safe. Just breathe.” She clings to me as we enter the cabin, and I have to remind myself that I’m used to all this bullshit, Lyra is not.   Normally, I wouldn’t take the time to coddle her, but considering what she’s just been through, it couldn’t hurt. Right?

Lyra

If I hadn’t already known how much I look like Bella, I would have been stunned by the way Cole openly gaped at me. But after I found out that she was his dead cousin, I certainly didn’t blame him. Besides, how often do you get the chance to reconnect with two people you though were dead?

I’ve tried to keep myself occupied by writing and reading, but I can’t seem to stay focused on any one thing. Especially since Ryker and Cole have been holed up in his office for hours. I suppose they’ve had a lot of catching up to do, which has caused my imagination to run wild. So in order to keep sane I’ve mentally made a list with a million-and-one questions. I know my first one should be, “Can I go home?” but in all actuality, it’s hard to put into words because a part of me wants to go, and yet there’s that small part of me that wants to stay. For him. Ryker’s saved my life time and time again. So shouldn’t I return the favor?

As crazy as today has turned out, I’m starving. You’d think I’d have lost my appetite, but my stomach has been growling for over an hour. I can’t put it off any longer, I need to make myself something to eat. As I start rummaging through the fridge, Ryker’s office door opens. I’m clutching all sorts of goodies to my chest as Cole comes around the corner. Steely green eyes briefly land on mine before I turn away. Closing the fridge with the tap of my foot, I then place everything on the counter. Chills run along my arms as he whispers, “Everyone claims we have a twin out there, but this is uncanny.”

I don’t look at him because I don’t want him to think it bothers me. So I pretend he’s not there and continue making my lunch. After what feels like an eternity, the front door closes. Breathing a sigh of relief, I take a peek to make sure he’s gone. Then I decide to make another sandwich and bring it to Ryker.

As I make my way down the hall, I’m surprised to see his office door is open. I try knocking as best I can with my arms full. But it’s kind of hard since I’m juggling two plates with a bottle of water underneath each arm. As soon as I step inside the room and see Ryker sitting behind his desk, I tense up. His gaze is fixed on an object in his hand. I would have easily overlooked it, if not for the lilting music it emanates. Ryker is gently cradling a delicate snow globe in the palm of his hand. He’s a million miles away from his office chair, studying the ballerina as she pirouettes in the center of the globe. The spell is broken the moment the music stops.

“What are you doing in here, Lyra?” Instinctively, I take a step back.

“The door was open. I-I thought you might want something to eat.” My heart’s hammering as I place the plates down on the desk, followed by the two bottles of water.

Ryker scrubs his hands over his beard. “I’m not hungry. You eat.” He looks exhausted and when he covers his face with his hands, I take the opportunity to glance around the room.

I’m amazed when I see ten flat-screen monitors hanging on the walls. All the screens are black with the exception of a flashing red light in the right-hand corner. “Rec” is written below each and every one. No one has to explain to me what that means. Something or somebody is being recorded. Two laptops sit unopened on his desk. One is black and the other is silver. And a cell phone pings with an incoming text right on the edge of his mahogany desk.

“We could talk, if you think it would help. You could start by telling me why Cole thought you were dead.”

“I just spent four grueling hours reiterating everything to Cole. So pardon me if I don’t want to sit through another interrogation at this time. Come, Lyra. I need to lock the door behind me, so you’ll have to leave.”

I shouldn’t be hurt, but I am. He gave me the same command he gives Cody when he wants her to follow him. Asshole. Quickly, I grab the two plates and walk out the door. I shouldn’t let it bother me so much, because I’m nothing to him. I begin wrapping up the sandwiches just as he sets the bottles on the counter. “Lyra, please eat something.”

“I’ve lost my appetite. Now if you’ll excuse me I have writing to do.” I purposely bump against his arm when I brush past him. And I have to swallow down the lump in my throat when he doesn’t try to stop me. Tears threaten to fall and it takes every bit of control I can muster to stop them. Today has been such an emotional rollercoaster ride. I can’t wait for it to end.

The daylight turns into nighttime without so much as a word from Ryker. I have no idea where he’s been hiding, and it’s not my place to go looking for him. About an hour ago I unwrapped my stale sandwich and forced myself to eat. I needed something to stop this empty feeling that was burning a hole in the pit of my stomach. Cody must sense the tension in the house because I’ve opened the front door several times to let her out, but she wouldn’t go. So when she starts barking and scratching at the gym door, I decide it’s time to bury my pride and take a peek.

I struggle to breathe as I push open the door and see Ryker lying on the floor. He’s wearing a pair of gym shorts and his body’s drenched in sweat. Falling to my knees, I grab his wrist so I can check for a pulse. His skin’s cold. You don’t have to be a doctor to realize he’s dehydrated and in desperate need of fluids. “Ryker, can you hear me?” My heart’s beating erratically as I race into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. When I come back and see Cody licking his face, I panic. Until Ryker lethargically raises his arms to try and push her away.

“You need to drink, Ryker. Can you sit up?” His eyes flutter open and a moan escapes his parted lips.

“What happened?” Slowly, I help him up. When he’s steady enough, I tip the bottle to his parched lips and he takes a generous gulp.

“Not too fast or you’ll be sick.” As he takes another drink, his hands wrap around mine. Holding me in place. “Do you remember what happened?”

“I remember feeling like I was going to self-combust. It was the worst sensation I’ve ever had. Perhaps, I’ll feel better if I take a cool shower. Can you help me to stand?” When he places his arm around my shoulder, mine easily slips around his waist. I secure my hand over his and together we make it the rest of the way. Ryker peels off his shorts as I turn on the shower and adjust the temp. I hold back the curtain and steady him as he steps into the shower. I’m hoping the water can wash away more than just the sweat off his body. Because after finding him passed out on the gym floor, it’s evident he needs to cleanse his spirit as well.

My heart aches when he leans his head against the cool tiles, but then it bleeds as I watch him fall apart before my very eyes. The water dancing along his cheeks has now partnered with his salty tears, until they’ve become one unique entity around the shower drain. Never to be seen again. I’m uncertain if I should walk away or if he’d want me to stay. So I let my heart make the difficult decision for me. With shaky resolve, I strip off all of my clothes and step in behind the man who’s responsible for my next breath.

Chapter Thirteen

March

Ryker

I am a man who has to be in control of all aspects of my life. Yesterday, that was stripped away from me by more than one person. First by Hawk, then by Cole, and lastly by Lyra.

Having to relive the pain from my past was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It left me thoroughly confused, and bitter. So I spent hours in the gym, taking my frustration out on a man I referred to as my mentor. To the point where I collapsed from dehydration and utter exhaustion. I had just found out that my friend and ex-father-in-law had sacrificed my long-standing obscurity. If he was going down, he wanted to take me along for the ride. All I did was go into hiding after Bella’s death. Hawk, on the other hand, sold his soul to the devil. He played good-cop-bad-cop and now it’s up to Cole to sort everything out. Then Lyra and I will both be free.

Cole seems to think my feelings for Lyra stem from the fact that she’s the mirror image of Bella. I have to disagree. Yes, they look alike, but I’m the only one who will ever know their dissimilarities. As well as their distinct personalities. And on some level that comforts me. As sick as that may sound.

When I think back on last night, Lyra could have easily closed the shower curtain and left me to my own fate. And I wouldn’t have blamed her a bit after everything I’ve put her through. But she chose to stay. Not a word passed between the both of us as she washed me, fed me, and took care of me. Afterwards, I found solace in her embrace. She appeases me in ways that no one else has ever dared. After last night, I’m convinced that she is the soothing balm for my dispirited soul. I am and always will be, forever hers.

My precious… I am irrevocably in love with Lyra Rose Harper.

I nonchalantly brush a strand of hair away from her parted lips and continue to watch her sleep. She’s flawless from the inside out. Cole assumes I’m thrilled at the prospect of my rebirth. God, if he only knew it pains me to think of Lyra and I being separated shortly. But, I made her a promise I intend to keep. Honor, courage, and commitment are words I live by. Semper Fidelis. Always Faithful. So, as soon as Cole gives me the green light, I will send her home to her loving family.

Trepidation surrounds me when Lyra stretches and then rolls onto her side to face me. A hint of a smile plays across her lips. “Why are you frowning, Ryker?”

God, if she only knew. Fuck! I still can’t wrap my head around the shit that Cole told me yesterday.  Taking ahold of her hand, I lift it to my mouth and place a tender kiss in her palm. “I spent the night mulling over everything that just happened. And for the first time in my life, I willingly gave up control and put it in your capable hands. That’s huge for me, precious. I’ve never, ever, done that with anyone before. So thank you for knowing what I needed and selflessly giving it to me.” I’m caught off guard when she straddles my hips, forcing me to lie flat on my back. She weighs a feather, but I wasn’t expecting this turn of events.

“Let me make love to you, Ryker. Just like this. Please.” This woman is turning me inside out, but I mustn’t show it.

Sitting up, I yank her shirt over her head. When she tries to free her arms, I tug on it until her arms are trapped behind her. “Ryker, I…” She moans the moment my mouth latches onto her pebbled nipple and I flick my tongue over the sensitive peak. My hand trails a path to where the two of us connect and our scorching excitement is almost enough to scald me. I glide my thumb along the seam of her slick folds. Coating her with her own desire before slipping my thumb deep inside of her. My cock jerks in anticipation as she rides my thumb with unrestraint. “I need you… please.”

“You’re not quite there yet, precious.”

“Yes, oh god… fuck!” Her pussy pulsates around my thumb as though it were milking my dick. I want to bury myself inside of her and never come out, while gazing into those sad eyes. But I can’t. Because if I do, I’ll never let her go.

The minute she’s free from my hold, she tosses her shirt to the floor. So, I grab her arms and gently massage each one until her circulation returns. Then I lean back on my elbows and just commit her to memory.

“Hey, it’s your turn.” I try not to smile when her pinkie finger skims over the length of me. And when her small hands free me from the confines of my boxers, I growl.

“Turn around, Lyra. Since you’re so bent on riding me, you can do it backwards.” As soon as she lifts one leg to turn around I lift my hips and pull down my boxers. Her sweet ass is too perfect to pass up, so I smack it just once for good measure.

She cries out as she squeezes me in her hand.

“Now, precious, guide me inside of your sweet pussy. Let’s see how much of me you can take.” When she buries me slowly inside of the most private part of her, I whimper. I’m a grown man and that’s the first fucking time that sound has ever come out of me. She places her hands firmly on my thighs and eases herself down … down … down. Until our bodies are so intimately connected, we will never be two separate beings again. “Fuck, Lyra. I’m so damn deep.” My hands land on her hips as she grinds herself against me. Seeking release. Precious needs some one-on-one attention and I’m just the man for the job.

I wrap one arm around her waist and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Now her legs are positioned over mine, with her feet barely touching the floor. Her head lolls against my chest when I seize her hips and begin to thrust inside of her. She snakes one arm around my neck and strokes her swollen clit with the other. And then she explodes into a never-ending climax, taking me along with her.

Lyra

I wanted to follow him into the shower so we could pick up where we left off, but he’s preoccupied. I know he must have a lot to process after his meeting with Cole yesterday, but I was hoping he’d open up to me. That sounds stupid, believe me, I know. Especially since he’s made it perfectly clear that we are only fuck buddies. But no matter how hard I try to deny it, Ryker means so much more to me.

I’m about ready to doze off, when I hear Cody barking. My heartbeat quickens as I jump out of bed and throw on a shirt. Cody’s prancing by the doorway, looking up at me. I breathe a sigh of relief as I head downstairs. “Do you need to go out, girl?” She growls and follows up with a whine. As soon as the door opens, she’s gone. It’s funny how she waits until Ryker tells her to ‘go’, but with me she doesn’t.

Well, I suppose now that I’m down here I might as well start breakfast. There’s no sense in jumping back in bed now that I’m wide awake. I make myself a cup of coffee but I put off making Ryker’s until he’s out of the shower.

I’m concentrating on the eggs sizzling in the frying pan when a warm hand slithers around my neck and a thumb caresses the tender flesh below my left ear. When it comes to rest upon my pulse point, I’m certain Ryker can feel my accelerated heartbeat. This small but intimate gesture causes a fluttering sensation at the bottom of my belly. And when his hand slowly falls away I question whether it was really there to begin with.

I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he grabs a mug and brews himself a cup. He looks so sexy with his long-sleeved black Henley pushed up at the elbows. And his faded jeans that ride low on his hips. Everything Ryker wears fits him like a glove. Which shows off his muscular frame. But I can’t help wondering how he would look without the beard and all that hair. I guess it really doesn’t matter, because Ryker’s the kind of man who looks sexy with or without. And I can attest firsthand to how good he looks in his clothes or out of them. I try suppressing a smile by nibbling on my bottom lip.

He startles me when his warm breath skims along my heated cheeks. “What do you find so amusing, precious?” When his eyes lock on mine, I’m breathless. And when his thumb sweeps across my bottom lip, forcing me to let it go, I tremble. Ryker has to know how addicted I’ve become to his touch, and he’s using it against me. His eyes are as black as coal as they roam over every inch of me. I expect him to bend me over the table and have his way with me, any minute now. And then Cody puts a damper on things when she howls to be let in. Now that I can breathe, I quickly plate our breakfasts and sit down to eat.

I’ve just finished my breakfast by the time Ryker joins me. When I start to leave he quickly grabs my wrist. “Stay, precious. We need to talk.” His intense gaze causes my heart to skip a beat. I know something’s wrong when he pushes his plate away and combs his fingers through his hair. “This might take a while, so let’s go into the living room.” When he comes around the table to thread his fingers through mine, I’m dazed.

Once we’ve sat down on the sofa, he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “The reason I couldn’t let you go home after I rescued you was because I no longer exist. If you were to Google me, it would have told you that Ryker Steel has been missing for over three years. Two weeks after I buried my wife, Bella, I moved to this cabin with a new identity.” He steals a quick glance in my direction before continuing. “In town I’m known as Jonathan Day. I made a grave mistake by telling you my real name, and that’s one of the reasons I couldn’t let you go. It’s my fault you’ve been here for so long and for that I’m sorry.”

I’ve been here for almost three months because he told me his real name? Are you fucking kidding me? “Ryker, if you had just been honest with me from the beginning, I would have never told anyone! I would have kept your secret until the day I died.”

“You don’t understand, Lyra.  I thought I was responsible for Bella’s death, that someone held a vendetta against me. An eye for an eye. So, for over three years I’ve lived in darkness. Blaming myself. Yesterday, Cole told me everything. More than I cared to know.”

Tell him what? I don’t understand.

He lurches forward when I reach out to touch him. “I don’t want your sympathy or your pity, Lyra. I can’t change the past but I sure as hell can change the future. I just wanted you to know as soon as Cole wraps up a few things you’ll be going home.” He stands up, thrusting his hands in his pockets and walks off. And I’m right behind him.

It suddenly hits me like a ton of bricks. “Is that why you saved me? Because I look like Bella and now you feel vindicated? A life for a life. Am I right, Ryker …?” he spins around so fast I bump right into him. And when his hands grip my upper arms I know there’ll be bruises tomorrow.

“Let. It. Go. If you were smart, and I know you are, you’ll walk away.” He spins on his heels and heads towards his office.

He is one-hundred percent right. I am smart and scared, but I need answers. “Talk to me, please. I don’t understand what you meant by…”

“Enough!” he screams, as his fists connect with the office door. Over and over again until they’re a bloody mess.

“Stop, Ryker! Please!” Immediately, I wrap my arms around his waist and press my face into the curve of his back. It doesn’t take long before the thin fabric of his shirt absorbs all of my remorseful tears. Every heartbeat and every breath he pulls into his lungs is a struggle for control. I’ve never seen him this angry. Ever. And I’ve never been so terrified in all my life, but I can’t walk away. Not now. Not when he’s in so much pain. With a shuddering breath, he surrenders. And his hands finally fall limply to his sides.

Chapter Fourteen

Ryker

I’m so fucking angry! But not at Lyra. I’m pissed at myself for caring. For giving a shit about what she thinks of me. Why should it matter? Damned if I know. Until I look down and see her arms wrapped around me and feel her tears branding my skin. And now I have my answer.

She... Makes... Me.... Feel.

Something I haven’t been able to do for quite some time now. In a matter of months, this woman has melted away my fortitude and the wall of ice I’ve twisted around my heart—the one that compelled me to be a cold, heartless bastard. I just pray she doesn’t leave me drowning in the aftermath. Because I could never live through that kind of pain. Ever again.

I spin her around and pull her in close to me. “Hush, precious. I’m fine.”

“I-I’m s-sorry. I shouldn’t have asked…” she whispers. She’s quiet for a moment and then quickly pulls away. “Let me see your hands.” They hurt like a motherfucker, but I only have myself to blame. When I place them in hers, she gasps. “I need to clean them, Ryker. Come into the bathroom.”

When Cody starts barking, I change direction so I can let her in. “I’ll get it. Meet me in the bathroom,” she commands.

There’s no point in arguing with her so I do what I’m told. And that’s a first for me. Usually, I’m the one in control. So I make a mental note to keep track, because this is so unlike me.

I’m standing in front of the sink, waiting, when she returns. “It’ll be easier if you sit down, Ryker.” With one hand on my chest she pushes me out of her way. I take the hint and sit down on the edge of the toilet as she grabs everything she needs. “This might hurt,” she whispers, and then begins washing the blood off of my hands. I concentrate on her and only her as she cleanses my knuckles with peroxide. It’s painful since they’re swollen and raw, but physical pain I can withstand. It’s the mental and emotional hurt that brings me to my knees. And after everything Cole revealed to me yesterday, how fucked up would it be for Lyra to be the one to forgive me.

My hands are throbbing by the time she finishes wrapping them up with gauze. They look ridiculous. Like something out of a horror flick. I’m preoccupied when Lyra tries to step away. Quickly, I fold her in my arms and rest my head against her chest. I can feel the thrumming beat of her heart as she cautiously rests her hands on my shoulders. She’s afraid of me. And that cuts me deeper than any knife ever could. So now I owe Lyra an explanation for my outburst.

“I used to drop Bella off at the studio when I went to work every morning. She was a ballerina for the New York City Ballet. At the time I worked undercover for a security firm. I was hired as Carlos Rodriguez’s bodyguard. Since he was a notorious drug dealer, it was my job to earn his trust so I could report my findings to my boss, Hawk. Who just so happened to be Bella’s father.” When she gasps I sneak a glance at her. She nods, so I continue. “When I dropped her off that morning she reminded me about the note in Cody’s collar…”

“Cody belonged to the both of you?” Lyra asks. I immediately know what she’s thinking. Cody’s attached to her because she looks like Bella.

“When we decided not to have any children of our own, we adopted Cody. We picked her up on the seventeenth of August from a shelter for abused animals. So on the seventeenth of every month thereafter, she would leave me a note in Cody’s collar. I’m sure it all sounds silly to you, but it’s just something that stuck.”

“It’s not silly, Ryker. It’s thoughtful.”

“Yeah. Well, anyway. When I dropped her off she reminded me about an interview she had after work. She told me not to wait for her. She’d call a cab and meet me at home. A few hours later, there was a knock on my door. When I opened it and saw two police officers standing there, I just knew. Bella was dead. She was killed by a hit and run driver.” There. Now she knows one of the reasons I went ballistic.

At once, I release her hold and stride into the kitchen. After grabbing a bottle of Wild Turkey I head into my office and close the door behind me. I know that’s a lot for someone to handle and I probably shouldn’t have left her alone, but I don’t want her pity. So I’ll just sit in here, have a few drinks and then I’ll be ready to face the music…

I’m speechless as she glides across the room and right into my arms. This is where she is supposed to be. Forever. I nuzzle into her neck and drown in her heavenly scent. It’s been way too long. “I miss you so damn much, Bella.” I’m so emotional I can barely speak.

Holding my face in her hands she replies, “I miss you too, Ry. But you’re forever in my heart. So, this is goodbye. I’m setting you free.” No, I won’t let her go! I can’t. When I begin to protest, she places her fingertips against my lips. “Read the last note I left you and find comfort in knowing I’ll always remember you.” Then with a brush of her lips on mine, she’s gone...

My chest aches as I open my blood-shot eyes. It was just a dream. But when I recall what she wrote in that note, a low growl rises from deep inside of me. I don’t have to read it, when I’ve memorized the damn thing! “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” My head starts to pound as the door bursts wide open and she glides into the room. A sense of déjà vu sends chills up and down my spine. Am I still dreaming? Is it Bella or Lyra? I’m so confused.

“You’re drunk, Ryker. I’ll help you up the stairs.” Ah, it’s my precious. When I stumble over my own two feet, she’s there to catch me. “C’mon big boy, let’s get you into bed.”

Once we’ve climbed the stairs, she sets me down and proceeds to undress me. Normally, I’d be full on board with it, but not right now. I’m exhausted and maybe a little drunk, so all I want to do is sleep it off. After tucking me in, she gently combs her fingers through my unruly hair. It feels so good that my eyes begin to drift. But when I feel her lips touch mine, my eyes pop wide-open. And I watch her watching me. When she doesn’t speak, I tilt my head. “Precious?”

Lyra

Dammit! I shouldn’t have tried to kiss him. Now he’s looking at me like I was trying to take advantage of him. Well, maybe I was but apparently he’s not as drunk as I thought. When I give him my best “I’m sorry” smile and turn to walk away, he captures my wrist and pulls me down on top of him. Yeah. Now I can definitely feel how quickly he’s sobered up.

My hands are trapped between our chests. Without warning, he pulls me down until his lips lightly brush against mine. I can taste the whiskey on his breath and feel the roughness of his beard against my chin. I want more. Give me more! When I open my eyes, his intense gaze is locked on mine. “What are you doing to me, precious?”

We’re a breath apart, so I whisper, “The same damn thing you do to me, Ryker.” Understanding and acceptance smolder in his eyes before his mouth captures mine. I whimper as his tongue glides over the seam of my lips, begging me to open up to him. And when I do, he consumes me in the most intimate way. This is exactly what I’ve been craving and he refused to give me. No more. Now he’s claiming me with every stroke of his tongue.

“Mm... I knew that’s how you would taste, precious.” He croons as he flips me onto my back. And I’m winded and panting by the time he sits back on his heels and tugs down my pants. Panties and all. After tossing them on the floor, he lightly skims his hands over my calves, up my thighs and under my shirt. I’m no longer wearing a bra so he has easy access when he uses his thumb and forefinger to tweak my nipples. I’m a writhing mess when he sits me up so he can throw my shirt in a heap on the floor. When I lie back down he scrutinizes every inch of me as if it were the first time he’s ever seen me naked.

When Ryker lifts his arms over his shoulders to pull off his shirt, it’s my turn to admire the view. The lines and cut of his body are pure perfection. I’m fascinated when his nimble fingers quickly unbutton and unzip his jeans without missing a beat. And when he stands up only long enough to kick them off, I already miss the weight of him surrounding me. Subconsciously, I hear my mother’s voice. “The heart wants what the heart wants.” And without a doubt, mine wants all of him. The good, the bad, and everything in between. I am so far gone, I can’t be stopped.

I wait for him to turn me on my side or onto my stomach, but instead he blankets me with his body. He’s covering me in his warmth and wrapping me up with his heady scent. His intense gaze locks on mine when he places all of his weight on his elbows. And when he cups my face in his hands he whispers against my lips, “Just for tonight, precious, I’m breaking all the rules.” And then his mouth is slowly moving over mine. Tasting me. Savoring me. And possessing me with just one kiss. Until I’m on fire as his tongue curls around mine in a tender, graceful dance that leaves us both needy and breathless. “I want you, Lyra.”

Wrapping my hands around his wrists, I whisper, “I’m right here.” A groan escapes him as his knees gently part my legs and he places himself at my center. I’m already slick with my own desire as I skim my hands over his muscular chest and down his rocky abs, and grab ahold of what I want. God, I love the way he feels. Silky and smooth, yet thick and hard as steel. And the way his cock pulsates in my hands, it’s as if it has its very own heartbeat. When he leans his forehead against mine I guide him inside of me.

“Fuck, Lyra, you feel so damn good.” When his hips find a rhythm I wrap my legs around him. Giving myself completely to him. And when he treads his fingers through mine and pins them to the mattress above my head, I whimper. “Open your eyes, precious, because this is the first and last time I’ll be making love to you.” My heart unravels, bit by bit, as I stare into his wicked black ones. His words cut me and cure me all at once. Just the thought of him making love to me sends me in a tailspin and I know right in this moment that I’ve fallen in love with him. My lip quivers and the tears threaten to fall. “Stay with me, Lyra,” he breathes into me when his lips find mine. I’m so close to shattering as he pulls out, then slams into me over and over again until I can barely remember my name.

“Ryker... ” he lets go of my hands and pushes my knees into my chest. Oh, my god. So deep. “I’m coming... ”

“That’s it, precious. I want to feel you come on my cock.” The instant I fall to pieces, his lips crash into mine and he falls apart all around me. Inside of me. “Fuck... ” he cries out as his body shudders against mine. My heart aches when his lips press against the base of my throat. And his beard tickles as he nuzzles into my neck. We linger for a while as our breathing slows. Neither one of us wants to be the first to let go. “Lyra, I’m sorry... ”

Rage erupts inside of me at his pathetic attempt at an apology. “No, Ryker. Don’t you dare apologize! I know you want me just as much as I want you, so don’t!” I break. I can’t hold it back any longer. All the tears I’ve been pushing down for so long come to the surface and tumble down my cheeks. Drowning me in their intensity until I can no longer breathe. And when his lips capture all of my tears, I shatter.

“Just breathe, precious. I’m right here.” Oh, my god. If he only knew I don’t ever want to let him go. “Breathe, baby,” he whispers before his lips meet mine. ‘Baby’? God, I feel like my heart is about to burst with love. And when I feel him thicken inside of me, I’m complete. His hands immediately frame my face as he gazes down at me. “What? Did you think once was enough?” When I bite my bottom lip and shake my head, he says, “Good. Because it’s your turn, precious.” He rolls us over while he’s still inside of me. When he positions my legs so I’m straddling him, I begin riding him while he guides me. “Yeah, just like that, precious.”

Chapter Fifteen

Ryker

The taste of her still lingers on my lips. While her scent clings to my body like a second skin, seeping into my every pore. Devouring me. God, I am so fucked!

I step under the piping hot water and begin washing off all traces of her. Not that it really matters, because she’s already embedded deep beneath my skin. Last night I broke every single rule I’ve ever made, but Lyra was so worth it.

I let my mind wander as the water soothes my weary bones. And I’m not surprised when I remember the quotes Bella had written down so long ago. “Dry thine eyes, too; ‘tis vain to keep this causeless grief for years.” It’s from a poem by Emily Bronte called Encouragement. Since my job was so dangerous, Bella and I often talked about death. We both agreed that we’d move on if something happened to either one of us. I didn’t tell her that I had all my fingers and toes crossed at the time. God, I never thought in a million years that I’d be the one left standing. Bell’s love was so pure and unconditional that I wanted her to share that love with someone, even if it couldn’t be me.

Now it’s my turn to walk away from Lyra. So she can live the life she was meant to before meeting me. Besides, even if I wanted to be with her, I’m sure it’s too late to stop what Cole has already started. For the first time in a long time, I can’t breathe. And then Lyra wraps me up in her arms and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can take a heartfelt breath. Albeit, short-lived.

“Morning,” she whispers, as her lips press to the curve of my back.

I was so lost in my own thoughts, I never heard her enter the shower. Dammit! Now I know what I have to do and it’s going to kill me. But it’s necessary. “Morning, precious,” I murmur without an ounce of emotion. And when I remove her arms from around my waist, my heart breaks. “Lyra, have you forgotten? Today starts a new day, which means you have to abide by the rules.”

When I hear her choke back a sob, I want to fall to my knees. But instead, I quickly turn around and grab her wrists. I want her to hate me so when she has to leave it won’t hurt so much. “Unless, you want me to fuck you from behind against the shower wall.” I cock my head to the side and give her my most menacing stare. When inside I’m dying a slow death as I watch her tears tumble down her flushed cheeks.

“No, Ryker. In fact, I don’t want you to ever touch me again!” She yanks free from my hold. I have to stop myself from going after her as I watch her stumble out of the shower. I convince myself it’s for her own good. But is it really? Yeah, it is. Because my life will never be my own and that’s not the kind of life I want for her. So, I rest my palms and my weary head against the wet tile and pray for the water to wash away my countless sins.

I spend the remainder of the day hidden in my office like a coward. Only coming out long enough to use the bathroom and check up on her. From what I can see, Lyra and Cody have been in the library with the door closed all day. She’s probably been planning my murder, and I wouldn’t blame her. Because I giveth and I taketh away… That’s just who I am.

I contemplate sleeping in here on the couch, but I decide against it. We’re bound to run into each other sooner or later. So why not meet in bed where it all began?

I notice the library door is open as I walk into the kitchen to get something to drink. I’d like to snatch what’s left of the whiskey, but since that was the cause of all this angst, I leave it on the counter and grab a bottle of water instead. After finishing up in the bathroom, I head upstairs. Lyra’s curled up under the covers with Cody lying on the floor beside her. “Turncoat,” I mumble. And I have to chuckle when she lets out a half-whine-half-yawn kind-of-thing before resting her chin on her paws.

Somewhere in the middle of the night we’ve became a tangled mess of arms and legs. And wouldn’t you know, my morning hard-on is pressed against her hand which is tucked between us. Fuck! This is so not good. If I move, she might let go or she could squeeze harder. Shit! What to do, what to do? My wicked side says to go for it but after everything that’s happened I can’t touch her. Ever again. But if I piss her off, she’ll hate me all the more.

Placing my hand over hers, I begin rubbing. And damn if I don’t get harder and harder with each fucking stroke. When her eyes open-wide I get in her face and say, “That’s it, precious. Make me come in your hand.” Technically, I’ll come in my boxers but I think she gets the gist.

Lyra suddenly has my undivided attention when her hand connects with my jaw.

“Rub one out yourself, Ryker. Or better yet, go into town and fuck Sonia. I’m sure she’s been wondering where the hell you’ve been.” Flinging off the covers, she storms down the stairs with Cody close behind. Wow! It looks like I’ve lost both of my girls in just twenty-four hours. Way to go, asshole. Well, it’s what I set out to do. So, mission accomplished.

The tantalizing aroma of coffee has me throwing on a pair of my pajama bottoms and heading downstairs. She looks miserable all curled up on the couch. Her hands wrapped around a steaming mug of coffee. Pouty, but adorable. Lyra must have let Cody out because she’s nowhere to be found. So I throw in a pod to brew and patiently wait, stealing a glance in her direction. I catch her ogling me when she thought my back was turned. Now her cheeks are a pretty shade of pink. Suppressing a smile, I rub my jaw where her hand connected with it. God, for a tiny little thing she sure packs a hell of a punch. Once my coffee is finished, I pull up a stool and sit down at the island. Until Cody begins barking and all the hair on my body stands at attention. Someone’s coming and she’s trying to warn me.

Lyra

“Lyra, go upstairs. Now!” Ryker screams. He grabs something out of the cabinet, and it takes a minute for me to process what he’s holding. It’s a goddamn gun! In a flash he’s grabbing me by the arm and dragging me down the hallway. “You’ll be safer in my office. Go, go!” Everything’s happening so fast I don’t have time to think. And seconds later all I can hear is shouting from the other side of the door.

The voices are very loud but muffled. So, it’s safe to assume Ryker’s office has to be soundproofed to some degree. I hate not knowing who’s on the other side or what’s happening for that matter. A sudden thought has me spiraling out of control. Is someone here to take me home? And if so, why does that make me so sad? My conscious gladly answers the question for me: because you’ve fallen in love with him, you idiot! And the thought of never seeing him again is too heartrending for me to comprehend.

Oh god, what have I done?

I’m on the verge of a breakdown when the door suddenly opens. Ryker looks torn as he stands on the other side with his hand beckoning me. “It’s safe, Lyra. You can come out now.” He looks agitated when he combs his fingers through his hair and gives me a sideways glance. My body shudders when I step out of the room but instantly warms when he places his hand at the small of my back. He’s giving me the strength I need to accept what’s on the other side.

I recognize Cole immediately, but the two other men are strangers. “I’d like to apologize for what appears to be an unexpected visit. However, I did notify Ryker we’d be coming out today. Apparently he failed to check his messages.” He glares at Ryker, whose jaw clenches. “Lyra, why don’t you have a seat while Ryker gets dressed?”

When Ryker takes a few menacing strides towards Cole, the two men advance. Cole’s arms stretch wide as he stops them from taking another step. “Remember, I’m one of the good guys, just like you, Ryker. Let’s not make this any harder than it needs to be.” He says it with such conviction that I almost believe him. Almost.

“Fine! Just don’t start without me.” I’m unsettled, when he hurries up the stairs, taking two at a time.

“Please, make yourself comfortable. I’m sure it won’t take him but a minute,” Cole explains. A small smile plays on his lips when I finally sit on the edge of the sofa. Ready to run? Maybe. “My mistake. It was less than a minute.” I inhale sharply when Ryker sits down on the arm of the sofa, surrounding me with his warmth. And when his hand lands on the nape of my neck, I’m grateful he’s ignoring my request not to be touched. Cole, on the other hand, doesn’t look too pleased with Ryker’s possessiveness.

“Personally, I have a few concerns about sending Lyra home...”

“Cole, you gave me your fucking word... ”

“Ryker, would you like my men to escort you outside while I talk to Lyra alone?” Every muscle in his body constricts, preparing for an attack. When I gently squeeze his knee, it doesn’t go unnoticed. Cole shakes his head before continuing, “No? I didn’t think so. Let me explain what my concerns are and we’ll go from there. The man who is sitting behind you is Jonathan Day, not Ryker Steel. And I don’t think for one minute you truly realize how crucial it is for you to know the difference between the two. One is a figment of our imagination, and the other is sitting behind you. Ryker has pissed off quite a few people by going off the grid. So, it’s a matter of life and death, Lyra. His! And no matter how much he doesn’t give two-shits-to-the-wind about what happens to him, I do!”

“I wouldn’t do anything that would put him in danger, I swear...”

Cole throws his hands up in surrender. “Not intentionally, of that I’m sure. Look, you need to be debriefed before I can even think about sending you home. This is how it’s going to go down. We will take you to a safe house where I will personally go over everything with you. Only when I’m absolutely positive you’re on board will I consider sending you back to your family.”

“Over my dead body! That was not what I agreed to, Cole, and you know it!” In an instant, Ryker has Cole pinned up against the wall and the goons are having a hell of a time trying to pry him off of him.

“Stop it! I’ll do whatever you need me to do!” I scream. Once I push past the two thugs, I hear Ryker whisper to Cole, “That was not part of our deal.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? What deal?

“Lyra, go pack your things. You’re leaving with us today,” Cole states. He smooths over the suit that Ryker just messed up.

“Goddammit, Cole! We’ve always had each other’s backs. Please, don’t let me down. Or I swear I will hunt you down.”

“You and me. Outside. Now!” Cole motions for Ryker to follow him as they both go storming out the door. I’m very uncomfortable sitting alone with the two goons, so I nonchalantly walk to the window and peek out. There’s a lot of screaming, and hands flying around. No fists, just hands. Both of them trying to get their points across. Cole seems to be the first one to back off, with his head tucked into his chin. My heart’s thumping when Ryker places his hand on the back of Cole’s neck and pulls him in for a hug. The actual embrace itself doesn’t last long before it turns into a one-arm bro-hug. If you blinked, you probably would have missed the whole thing. Cole nods once before they head back towards the cabin. Quickly, I run into the kitchen to get a drink.

I’m certain that the both of them can hear my heart hammering the moment they step inside. I have no idea what conclusion they’ve agreed to but they both look devastated. And when Ryker’s gaze locks on mine, I know it was his decision and not Cole’s. By his furrowed brow, the set of his jaw and the creases around his eyes. We’ve only known each other for a short time, but I know for a fact that’s the look of a man in control.

“Ryker seems to think you’ll need more time to acclimate. So, against my better judgement, I’ll be back to pick you up in a week. Is that acceptable, Lyra?”

I’m trembling uncontrollably as I nod. “Yes, t-that’s fine.”

“Good. Then we’ll see you.” Ryker’s intense gaze never wavers, long after the door closes behind them.

Chapter Sixteen

Ryker

Last night, she made it very clear I wasn’t to touch her. Ever again. Now I’m wondering if she’s changed her mind. Lyra’s held my gaze since Cole told her she’s leaving in a week. Could she be committing me to memory much in the way I’m memorizing her? I’d like to think so. I’m hoping against hope that she’d like to remember our little fragment of time. I know I certainly will. Lyra’s the only woman who’s ever managed to tap into emotions I thought I had buried along with my wife. Although our ending will be bittersweet, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

In a few short strides I’m in her personal space. I’m devastated when the palm of her hands push against my chest. Stopping me. “I can’t do this, Ryker. I’m sorry.”

Her rejection hurts, but I will not show it. “Don’t apologize, precious. I’ll call Cole immediately to see if he can swing by to pick you up.”

“No! You don’t understand! I don’t want to leave. I want to stay with you, Ryker.  Please, let me stay.” Lyra’s emotional, so she hasn’t a clue what she’s really asking of me. I can’t give her what she so deserves.

When I fold her in my arms, she doesn’t resist. Instead, she pulls me in closer as she shatters. “Oh, precious.” I thought I had warned her about falling for me. I nuzzle into her as I whisper, “I won’t let you stay here with me because I destroy everything I touch. Besides, Cole has already spoken to your family and they’re anticipating your return. Imagine how devastated they would be if they were told it was a false alarm. Do you really want to put them through that kind of pain again?”

“No, but I can’t fathom the thought of never seeing you again.” I’m at a loss for words because she’s just verbalized what I cannot.

My chest tightens as I whisper, “We still have a week, Lyra. So let’s not waste another precious second. Tell me what you want and it’s yours.” Holding my breath, I wait for her answer.

“You. I want you, Ryker... ” I don’t wait for her to finish. I claim her mouth with mine. Even if I wanted to stop the outpouring of love and passion that bleeds from my heart and soul, I couldn’t. It consumes me to the point where I feel like I might implode if I stop. So I don’t. I take and take until I’ve stripped her bare, exposing her all to me.

We don’t speak as I carry her up the stairs and gently lay her down on my bed. Her eyes never leave mine as I remove my clothes and place myself between her trembling thighs. With all of my weight on my elbows I thread our hands together and place one of them against my chest. “You’re the reason why my heart is pounding, Lyra. And do you know why?” When she worries her bottom lip and shakes her head, I continue. “You... Make... Me... Feel... Something I haven’t been capable of in years. So thank you for giving me these last three months, precious.” I taste the salt of her tears on my lips as I slip inside her tight, wet heat. For the first time in a long time, I get lost in a woman. This woman. The only one who’s been able to turn my black and white world into blindingly vibrant colors!

“I’m going to devour you, precious. Watch me.” She whimpers as I quickly pull out of her, but soon moans as my mouth latches on to her nipple. I tease those sensitive peaks with my tongue and my teeth until she’s a writhing mess beneath me. All the while, my beard scratches and tickles her tender flesh.

Her hands tangle in my hair as I lick and nip the swell of each breast. Making sure to avoid those pretty pink-tips that are begging for my attention. “Ryker, please. I need you inside me.”

“First, I’m going to taste every inch of you, precious. Then you can have my cock.” My mouth leaves a trail of kisses along her ribs, her taut stomach and her slender waist before I start from the tips of her toes and work my way up her inner thighs. When I push her knees up into her chest and see her puckered little opening glistening with arousal, I aggressively growl. Then with a few quick swipes of my tongue, I lap up all the sweet goodness her excitement has surrendered to me. She tastes like passion, desire and paradise all rolled into one. My precious.

Her half-hooded eyes search mine as I climb off the bed and drag her to the edge by her ankles. “Ryker?” she asks, as I kneel on the floor and position her legs over my shoulders. As soon as I bury my face between her thighs, I can feel her heels press against my shoulders. Urging me on.

I allow my tongue to ravish every part of her aching pussy, except the one area she desperately craves. And I try not to smile when she huffs out a breath in exasperation. “What do you want, precious?” I breathe across her swollen folds.

“Lick my clit, Ryker. Please!” She bucks against my face as I pull her into my greedy mouth. Sucking and nipping on the sensitive bud until her orgasm takes her over the edge. And as soon as her body stops shuddering from her climax, I stand up and thrust inside of her still quaking pussy. There’s plenty of time to make love to her later, but right now I need a quick release.

As soon as I feel the familiar tingling in the base of my spine and my balls tighten, I know I’m close. “Come with me, precious. I want to feel you as I explode inside of you.” As soon as I feel her clench around my throbbing cock, I capture her mouth with mine. Silencing her whispered words of love that try to escape as we shatter into rapturous oblivion.

Lyra

The week has flown by, but it’s been the best week of my life. We spent hours if not days making love in every room and in every way imaginable. And I was captivated when Ryker revealed he has a romantic side. Last night, we cuddled in a huge sleeping bag as we watched a meteor shower caused by the star that I was named after. Lyra was on display and it was breathtaking. Then we danced under the stars to some amazing music and the rhythm of our beating hearts. Our week ended a few hours ago as we made love in the shower for the very last time. My legs were weak and my body was still humming as we sat down to eat our last breakfast together.

Unfortunately, Cole’s here to pick me up, but I’m not ready to leave yet. I’ve been sitting on the bed just staring at the rumpled sheets with Ryker’s pillow splayed across my lap. Every now and again I bury my face into it, and breathe him in. I know I should be happy but I’m not. And that really, really bothers me. Because after all this time, I’m finally going to be reunited with Gage and my family. It’s what I’ve always wanted. So why do I feel this pressure inside of my chest? Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m already home…

When I glance around the room for the very last time and see Ryker standing at the head of the stairs, I break. “Please don’t cry, precious.” His strong arms lift me up like I’m weightless before he cradles me in his lap. There’s so much I want to say but I can’t find the right words. Not the ones he wants to hear, of that I’m sure. Perhaps, there are no words to best describe how I’m feeling in this moment.

So we don’t speak. Instead, we find comfort in each other’s embrace. And I let his scent wrap around me as I lie my head against his chest.

Inhale...

Exhale...

In...

Out...

Until his body becomes rigid beneath mine when Cole calls out, “Lyra, we need to get going.” And that’s when I know I was lulled into a false sense of security. It’s over. Physically, I’ll be leaving but my soul will remain his. Forever. In the end, I’m not the same woman I was all those months ago. How could I possibly be? Ryker has awakened something inside of me that I never knew existed. And I’m terrified that I’ll never feel this way again.

When I feel Ryker’s body shift, I quickly straddle his lap. There’s something I need to tell him privately before going downstairs. As I hold his beautiful face in my hands for the very last time, I become emotional. His dark eyes are staring into mine with so much sadness, I can see my reflection in their murky depths. “I know this isn’t easy for either of us, but you need to know how much I love—” Instantly his fingertips press against my lips, his head resting against mine.

“If you say those three words precious, I will never let you leave. Never! And remember what we discussed last night. When I walk away I’m never looking back. If Orpheus hadn’t looked back at Eurydice before she walked into the light, she wouldn’t have vanished and they would have had their happily ever after. The only difference between theirs and ours is, I want you to walk into the light because the light is your future. I want you to have a loving husband, two-point-three kids and the white picket fence...”

I try to quiet him with a thousand-and-one kisses and pray that they are enough to last me a lifetime. When we come up for some much needed air, I wrap my arms around his neck and whisper, “Thank you for saving me, Ryker.”

“You are the one who saved me, precious. More than you’ll ever know.” His lips graze mine before he sweeps his thumbs across my cheeks to catch all of my tears. “C’mon, it’s time to go. We don’t want to keep Cole waiting.”

Once I’ve climbed off his lap, he threads his fingers through mine. Reluctantly, we walk downstairs. Cole looks relieved as we approach the front door. He nods once before saying, “Everything will work out for the best, Ryker. Don’t you agree?”

“Sure, Cole. Whatever you say.”

As soon as the front door opens, I want to run back inside and hide. This cabin has been my home for so long now. It’s all I’ve known. Ryker must sense my hesitation as he wraps one arm around my waist and squeezes my hand with the other. My knees weaken as we walk across the deck, down the stairs, and come to an abrupt end in the driveway. It is all too overwhelming as Cole opens the car door while one of his men throws my bag into the trunk.

I bury my face in Ryker’s chest. I don’t want to let him go. “Promise me no matter what happens, you’ll move on, precious. I truly want you and Gage to be happy. Please don’t cry.” When his warm lips crash against mine, I take and take until I have nothing left to give.

“I want you to be happy, too,” I whisper against his lips.

“If you’re happy, I’m happy. Promise me, Lyra.”

“Promise... ” as soon as the word leaves my lips he turns and heads straight back to the cabin. Never looking back. I want to scream at him to stop but I know he won’t. So I finish what I started to say only moments ago. “I love you, Ryker Steel.” I just about fall to my knees when he stops and clutches onto the doorframe. His shoulders tremble as he tries so hard not to fall apart.

“Cole, I have my family but Ryker has no one,” I whisper.

“He’s stronger than you think, Lyra. He’ll be fine. Now we have to leave.” I wait until Ryker closes the door behind him before I slide into the back seat. Cole climbs in next to me while both of his men sit up front. I can’t take my eyes off of the cabin. I’m hoping to get one last glimpse of Ryker. My heart lodges in my throat as I watch it fade in the distance. Until we round the bend and it’s out of sight. “I never had a chance to say goodbye to Cody.” It was supposed to be a thought but for some reason I said it out loud.

“Now you mention it, I didn’t see her this morning. Did you?” A feeling of dread courses through me as soon as I realize I haven’t seen her since early morning.

“I haven’t seen her since he let her out today. Oh god, what if something happened to her? Cole, we have to go back and check. Ryker will flip out if something has happened to her—” A sudden burst of light and a deafening crash has the driver slamming on the brakes.

“What the fuck was that?” Goon number one asks.

“Fuck... Call 911 and get her the hell out of here. Now!” At once, Cole’s out the door and he’s running back the way we came. What the hell? And when his hand quickly reaches inside of his jacket to pull out his weapon, it becomes all too clear. He thinks something happened to Ryker. Without a second thought to my safety, I’m out the door and sprinting up the road.

“Get back here!” is the last thing I hear as I round the bend.

Even from this distance I can see the destruction that lies ahead. Debris is scattered about, and several trees look like matchsticks that have been shaken out of their box. A few small fires remain at their base and for the life of me I can’t seem to find the cabin. Why?

Because it no longer exists...

Awareness suddenly punches me in the gut and drops me to my knees. Quickly, I cover my eyes and pray it isn’t so.

He’s gone... Ryker’s gone... He’s gone...

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. I count as I rock back and forth on my heels.

Please god, please. When I uncover my eyes let it all be a nightmare. And I’ll wake up with his arms wrapped around me as he soothes away my fear.

When I slowly lower my hands and see nothing’s changed, I scream.

And scream and scream and scream.

“Oh god, Lyra. Please stop. Please.” Cole’s doing his best to console me but I know he’s just as devastated as I am.

“Help me find him, Cole. HELP ME! Please... ”

“We need to get you out of here. Now! Look at me, please.” Cole’s hands immediately take hold of my face, forcing me to look at him. “I’m sorry, Lyra. He’s gone. Jonathan Day is dead. Shit! You can’t stay here. Go with Jeff and Bruce and I’ll meet you at the safe house as soon as I can.”

“No! He’s not dead! He can’t be!” I scream. Cole scoops me up as my fists pummel the solid wall of his chest.

“I’m sorry, Lyra. I’m so sorry... ” When his voice breaks, I fall apart in his arms.

Part Two

Chapter Seventeen

April

Lyra

My first real taste of freedom was spent inside of the safe house. Grieving for a man who saved my life in a thousand countless ways. Nothing could have prepared me for the anguish I feel now that he’s gone. I’m broken. My heart’s shattered into a million pieces and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to put them back together again. I’m not sure if I’d even want to.

I swear I hear Ryker whispering to me in the dark when I close my eyes at night.

Just breathe, precious...

While his fingertips gently glide over my sensitized flesh. His warm breath skims along my lips, goose bumps break out along my skin. I tremble at his touch. And when I reach out to him, he slowly fades away. Leaving me alone in his wake.

I’ve just written down the last entry in one of my journals. Once I’m home, I will tuck them all away in the deepest, darkest recesses of my closet. Making sure they’re hidden away from prying eyes. Since every single word I penned to paper was conceived during one of my darkest—or one of my most pleasurable—hours. With him.

I knew when the time came to reunite with my family it was going to be bittersweet. I don’t feel like I fit into my old life anymore. But the moment their pained expressions turned to joy at the sight of me, I surrendered. And I was swept away in a sea of tears as everyone’s arms enveloped me. Never letting go.

Ryker once told me that he found silence in solitude. I didn’t believe him back then, but I do now. At the time, I couldn’t fathom how he could go days, or weeks, without having a conversation. Or some kind of interaction with another human being. Mainly because I’ve always been the kind of girl who had to be in the thick of things to feel complete.

Not anymore.

Now I choose to be alone.

I crave it.

Especially after being interrogated by the DEA, the crime squad, and even the FBI for the past month. Oh, did I fail to mention the news crews and all the reporters camped out in front of my parents’ house? Yeah, good times.

Now that the dust has settled and the investigation is over, everyone expects me to move on. God, how I wish it were that easy. With each passing day it gets harder and harder, because I have no one to talk to. The world portrays ‘Jonathan Day’ as some kind of deviant sociopath, and I want to set them straight. But I can’t. In exchange for my freedom, I signed an NDA. Which clearly stated what I was able to divulge and what I cannot. Needless to say, Jonathan Day or Ryker Steel’s reputation was of little importance to them. So my hands are tied and it really sucks!

Today’s the first day since I’ve come home that’s turned out to be beautiful. Which only proves that winter has finally succumbed to spring. I would absolutely love to go for a walk, but I’m afraid there might be some reporters still lurking in the shadows. Ugh. I’m free, yet I’m confined in my own prison. Agoraphobia. It seems that I now have an underlying fear of the outside world.

Just when I’ve finally convinced myself to go out, the doorbell rings. Swiftly pulling me out of my thoughts. My heart picks up a notch as I take a peek out the window and see Cole standing there. I haven’t been in contact with him since he reunited me with my family. He’s preoccupied with someone on his phone as I open the door. “Cole?”

“Lyra, I’m sorry to barge in unannounced but I need your help. Can I come in?” My heart begins to speed up, until I hear a familiar sound.

In two seconds flat I’m sprinting out the front door. Running down the stairs and flinging the car door open. A friendly face with golden eyes stares back at me. The next thing I know, Cody’s licking me to death. “I’m happy to see you too, girl.” Once she’s had her fill of me, she starts to run back and forth. Up and down. Around and around. Searching. It’s heartbreaking when she finally realizes her master’s not here to greet her. My chest aches when she pitifully plops down at my feet. So I lie down beside her on the hard ground and stroke her silky fur. “I miss him too, Cody.” Tears blur my vision as she nuzzles into me.

Cole squats down to stroke her coat. “The cleanup crew called to let me know she was guarding the site. She wouldn’t allow anyone near the property. Luckily, when I showed up she came to me immediately. Otherwise, they would have called the dog warden to take her away. I don’t know what the hell to do for her anymore, Lyra. She barely eats or drinks. All she does is sit by the door and wait. I know who she’s waiting for and it’s tearing me up inside.”

I don’t hesitate when I say, “She can stay with me. It’s what he would have wanted.” I’m going to love her and take care of her because she’s all I have left of him.

“No, Lyra. Cody’s my responsibility. He was my best friend... ”

Poor Cole. He’s in denial just like I am. I stand up and brush the dirt off of my jeans. “I know he was. And I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. But I really want to do this for Cody and for him. He saved my life, Cole. Let me do this, please.”

“I’ll make you a deal. If it gets to be too much and you change your mind, I’ll come pick her up. How’s that?”

I’m not going to change my mind. “I’ll tell you what. Gage is picking me up on Saturday to take me home. So if she hasn’t adapted by then, I’ll give you a call.”

Shit! Now he looks like he’s sorry he told me I could keep her. “You’re leaving this weekend?”

“There’s no reason for me to hang around here, now that the investigation is over. I need to get back to work and get on with my life. Why? Is that going to be a problem?”

“No. Not at all. It’s just—”

“Cole, is there something you’re not telling me?” My stomach’s all tied up in knots as I watch him struggling. For words? I don’t know, but I suddenly turn cold when his eyes meet mine.

“Fuck! I signed an NDA just like you, Lyra.” He’s starting to scare me when his hands land on my shoulders. Weighing me down. Holding me up. I don’t know anymore! Cole’s eyes look crazed as they lock on mine. “He’s not officially dead, Lyra. They never found his body... ”

Gage

Since I had already missed so much time from work during Lyra’s disappearance, I wasn’t able to stay in New York for more than a few days. God, I hated leaving her behind. Although I knew her parents were by her side every step of the way, I wanted it to be me. I haven’t seen her in almost a month. Even though we talk on the phone almost every day, it’s not the same. She’s not the same. Thanks to him. Fuck me! If Jonathan Day wasn’t already dead, I would have killed him myself.

When I’m about twenty minutes away from her house, I feel like throwing up. I’m nervous as fuck. This is it. There’s no turning back. We’re moving forward. God, I want this more than I need air to breathe, but I’m worried. I don’t want her to come home to appease me. I want her to come home because she wants to be there. With me. Forever. Just like we planned all those years ago.

The minute I pull into the driveway and see her running out the front door, I immediately relax. Until a huge dog places itself between me and her. Blocking me. “Babe, when did your parents get a dog?”

“Cody. Sit.” I watch in utter fascination as the dog listens to her commands. Who would have thought? When she snakes her arms around my waist and peers up at me with a mischievous grin, I know I’m in trouble. “Surprise! Meet the newest member of the Harper family. Cody, this is Gage. Gage, this is Cody. She’s coming home with us.”

What?

“You’re joking, right?” I want to take it back the moment I see her smile dip into a frown. “You’re not joking. Oh-kay, Great! Where did he come from?”

I know I’m not going to like what I hear when she worries her bottom lip. “Cody’s a girl, not a boy. And she belonged to Jonathan Day. Please don’t be angry, Gage. She was my one saving grace while I was there and she has no place to go.”

I see red. Immediately. I don’t want a fucking thing that belonged to him anywhere near her. Ever! But sadly, I know once her mind’s made up, she’s not going to change it. So I’m going to have to learn to pick my battles according to precedence. Obviously, I’m not going to win this one. So I have to let it go. “Welcome to the family, Cody. I hope to God I don’t have to sleep with one eye open.” When my girl’s soft lips suddenly land on mine, I know it’s her way of thanking me. God, I’ve been waiting patiently for four agonizing months for this. Lyra wasn’t ready for a ‘physical relationship’ the last time I was here. She needed time. God only knows what the fuck that asshole did to her. “Mm, I knew that’s how you would taste,” I whisper, nuzzling her neck. Instantly, her body stiffens against mine.

“We better get going. We have a long drive ahead of us,” she states, before walking away.

“I thought we were leaving in the morning, Lyra.” When she whirls around to face me, I’m astonished. Her wall is clicking back into place with each passing second.

What did I do? Dammit!

“I want to walk barefoot in the sand. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want to have lunch with my friends. I just want to feel normal again, Gage... ” My heart breaks when she covers her face with her hands and begins sobbing. She can barely catch her breath when I sweep her off her feet and cradle her in my arms.

“I want that for you too, babe. More than you’ll ever know. C’mon then, let’s go home.”

By the time we’ve pulled into our driveway, it’s well past midnight. Lyra finally fell asleep in the car about an hour ago. I hate to wake her up, but I need to get her inside. When I open up the back door, Cody just ignores me. Fine. I don’t have the time nor the energy to bother with her right now.

I make sure to grab our bags out of the trunk first and then hurry up the front walk to unlock the door. Quickly, I drop them on the floor, flip on the lights, and head back outside to get my girl. I slip my arm underneath her knees and around her back. My first thought as I cradle her in my arms is: she’s home. With me—where she belongs.

After closing both car doors with my foot—since Cody decided to join us—I carry Lyra straightaway into our bedroom. I gently lay her down on the bed and then... I’m not quite sure what to do next. Do I let her sleep in her clothes? Or do I attempt to put on her pajamas? She makes the decision for me when she rolls onto her side and curls up into a little ball. Lyra must be cold, so I grab the spare blanket out of the closet and cover her up. Then I carefully sit down on the edge of the bed, and spend some quality time just drinking her in. I spent four excruciating months wondering if she were dead or alive. Now that she’s here, I’m never letting her out of my sight. Ever. Wherever she goes, I will be right by her side.

Lyra promised to call her parents as soon as we arrived. By the looks of it, that’s not a happening thing tonight. I’d better call them so they don’t worry.

“Gage, is something wrong?” I knew that’s what they’d think as soon as they noticed my number pop up instead of hers.

“No, everything’s fine. She’s just exhausted. In fact, she fell asleep on the way home and I didn’t have the heart to wake her up. I just wanted to let you know we arrived safely.”

“Well, we’re glad you called. Thank you, Gage. Did she say why she felt the need to leave so early?”

“Lyra just wants to be normal again. And I’m going to do my damnedest to give it to her, Grant. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but we’ll get there.” Or I’ll die trying.

Chapter Eighteen

Lyra

I thought I had it all figured out. I’d go home, get my old job back, and Gage and I would pick up where we left off. By taking one day at a time. Well, apparently that’s not going to happen now. My mind’s spinning out of control.

“He’s not dead, Lyra. They never found his body.”

Ryker’s not dead... He’s alive...

How am I expected to handle this information? Especially since I spent the last month grieving for a man I thought to be dead. Only to find out he’s very much alive. Now I feel my heart being torn apart once again. Because I can honestly say that I’m irrevocably in love with two men. God, I wish Cole would have just kept his damn mouth shut! No, I take that back. I do. I’m just tired and confused. It’s too much, too soon.

Since I’m alone, I sit up in bed and press my sore back against the headboard. Then I wrap my arms around my legs and hug them tightly against my chest. I take a few deep breaths before trying to sort it all out. And when I do, I’m as giddy as a school girl. Just knowing Ryker’s still walking around somewhere on this planet. Breathing the same air that I breathe. It makes me feel euphoric! Over the moon! So much so, that I’m hoping and praying that one day we’ll meet again.

I startle when the bedroom door suddenly swings open. Gage stands tentatively in the doorway, cautious and guarded. I don’t blame him. I’ve been such a bitch lately. And my sweet, sweet boy keeps coming back for more. If that isn’t love, then I don’t know what is. “I’m awake. Come on in.” I hate it when he nervously runs his fingers through his hair. Gage is walking on eggshells in his own home because of me. And it sucks!

“I unpacked your bag, but I wasn’t quite sure what you wanted me to do with these.” When he strides into the room and opens up my top drawer, I flinch. I already know what he’s holding in his hands before he even turns around.

My journals.

“Did you read them, Gage?” My heart’s racing as I watch his throat constrict.

“No. God knows I wanted to. But I didn’t because I was afraid of what I might find. Tell me I’m wrong, Lyra.” When I don’t answer, he shakes his head in disgust. He feels betrayed and I don’t blame him. He’s right. I don’t want him to read them.

“Gage, you have to try and understand... ”

“I’m trying, Lyra. I really am. Especially since you haven’t written a damn word in years. It makes me curious, y’know?” I want to say, “I know, I really do.” But I don’t say a word. Because I know he’s hurt and he’s angry. So now wouldn’t be the time.

I hold his gaze as I get out of bed and approach him. His manly scent reminds me of heaven and home all twisted together. So much so, that a wave of nostalgia brings tears to my eyes. I love this man. I really do.

When I wrap my arms around his waist, he relaxes. Then a few heartbeats later, he envelops me in his arms. “You’re the reason I haven’t had to write anything for the last few years, Gage. You don’t expect anything more than I’m willing to give. I’m safe with you. But when I was at the cabin, I needed to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper. Otherwise, I would have lost it. Those journals were cathartic for me. They were necessary for my survival. I don’t want you to read them until we’ve had a chance to talk.”

“Well, I’m here now and I’m listening.” Before I can speak, his warm hands land on my cheeks. “Nothing. I repeat, nothing, would ever make me stop loving you. I can handle whatever it is you need to tell me. Okay?”

When his thumbs glide across the crest of my cheeks, I whisper, “Okay,” just as his mouth captures mine. And then everything else fades away. My kidnapping. The cabin. Ryker. I’m concentrating on the man who’s held my heart captive. Gage has always been my safety net when I was afraid of falling. He never once gave up on me. He waited for me for months, while the man I’d fallen in love with made his dramatic escape. So as far as I’m concerned, Ryker made his choice. Now I’m making mine. End of story.

All I taste is freedom with every stroke of Gage’s tongue, nip of his teeth and seal of his lips. Gage is finally taking back what’s his and I’m all too willing to oblige. Until a wave of guilt crashes through me like an unexpected tidal wave pulling me under. I need to tell him the truth. How I willingly slept with another man.

Suddenly, my hands are pushing up against his chest. Trying to sever our connection. “Gage, stop. I-I can’t do this. Oh god, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” When he takes a step back, I whimper. There’s so much pain and sadness in his brown-eyed gaze that I want to die. It’s as if he already knows what I’m about to say. “Jonathan had me convinced that we’d take our last breaths together. That I belonged to him since he saved my life. Gage, you have to believe me when I tell you I never thought in a million years I’d be standing here with you today... ”

“Stop. You did nothing wrong, Lyra. It was him. The monster raped you and led you to believe he was the only one responsible for your survival. I get it, I do. I don’t blame you... ”

“Gage, he never raped me. It was consensual.”

“What? I don’t believe you, Lyra. Not for a minute. You would never willingly sleep with another man. And you can stop defending him. He’s dead for fuck’s sake! Babe, it’s just you and me here. Please, just tell me the god’s honest truth.”

“Jonathan would go into town once a month to pick up supplies. While he was there he would make an appointment at The Pleasure Palace. I was afraid to be alone, Gage. You of all people know how much I hate it because of what happened. So I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. Me or The Pleasure Palace. He chose me... ”

Gage

I feel like Lyra just reached inside of my chest and plucked out my beating heart. Where it now sits in the palm of her hand. A bloody, lifeless mess. She just gutted me from head to toe without batting an eye.

He chose me.

Motherfucker!

I can’t believe she offered herself up to him on a silver platter. It must have been the ultimate power trip for him to have a beautiful woman to control. Always at the ready.

“Gage, please try to understand.”

Understand? I’m trying. I really am, but I can’t seem to get past the fact that she willingly slept with the man who held her hostage. ‘Willingly’ being the key word.

Jesus. H. Christ.

Normally I’m not a violent man, but I can feel the rage escalating inside of me. It’s so intense, I can almost taste it. So I run my fingers through my hair and yank. Maybe if I inflict enough pain on myself, I won’t verbally hurt the one I love.

“Gage, weren’t you the one who told me you could handle anything? That, no matter what, you would never stop loving me?”

Touché...

She’s absolutely right. As much as it hurts, I have to man the fuck up, take a deep breath and start all over. So I stop tugging on my hair and hold my palms out to her in surrender. What does she want from me?

“The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, Gage. But I won’t lie to you about what happened at the cabin. Whether you accept it or not, that’s who I am now. Would it have been easier on everyone if Jonathan had left me to die?”

My heart shatters at the thought. Which is a good thing, right? Because it means it’s still beating inside of my chest and not a bloody, lifeless mess. It feels like an eternity passes before her small hands are grabbing the front of my shirt. Her tear-filled gaze fixed on mine. “It wasn’t. Was it, Gage?”

“No... ” I can no longer speak as I’m hurled into the past. Four months ago to be exact. One frantic phone call was all it took to split my world apart...

“Gage, please tell me Lyra missed her flight.”

“She hasn’t missed her flight, Grant. In fact, she just called to let me know she’d just picked up her rental and she’s heading to your house. Why? What’s wrong?”

“She never made it, Gage. She’s missing. And the bastards won’t let me file a missing persons report until it’s been twenty-four hours.”

“I’m going online to book a flight. In the meantime, fill out the damn paperwork as soon as you can.”

“All flights in and out have just been cancelled. We’re having a major fucking snowstorm up here. I’m afraid she was caught in the middle of it and we won’t be able to find her in time.”

“Grant, listen to me. I’m going to borrow my father’s SUV and I’ll be there as soon as I can. Have Mrs. Harper threaten to write an article for the newspaper about Lyra’s disappearance. That might give them an incentive to get their finger out of their asses. Do what you can on your end and keep in touch. We’ll get to the bottom of this or some fucking heads are going to roll...”

Unfortunately, it didn’t go down the way I planned. Maybe I shouldn’t have threatened each and every one of them. But I was pissed. Livid. Thank god Mr. Harper was able to file that missing persons report by the time I arrived. And Lyra’s face was now plastered on every newspaper, magazine, news broadcast and social media outlet imaginable. When the weather permitted, a few search parties were organized and Mr. Harper and I were up front and personal. But it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Since her phone was no longer working. The rental car was nowhere to be found. And every phone call they followed up on turned out to be a false lead. Hopeless. Now, we found ourselves back at square one.

Now, when I look into her dejected eyes, everything I went through seems so trivial now. I should be grateful instead of hateful. And I am. Starting right now, I’m going to put my Alpha-Male self aside. She slept with Jonathan Day. So what? Lyra did what she needed to do so she could find her way back to me. As far as I’m concerned, it’s time to write a new chapter.

“What I said earlier is true, Lyra. I could never stop loving you. No matter what. And I’m not angry. You did what you needed to do to survive. I get that. I really do. You want the truth? I’m angry at myself. I should’ve insisted on going to your parents’ home with you for Christmas. Then none of this would have happened.”

“Gage, stop it. In no way was this your fault. Besides, I was in South Carolina on a business trip. That’s the only reason I booked a direct flight to New York. It wouldn’t have made any sense to fly home just so you could go with me. Look, we can spend the rest of our lives feeling guilty about what happened. Believe me, I’ve done enough of that already to last me a lifetime. Or, we can put it all behind us and move on. What do you say? Can today be the first day of the rest of our lives?”

“I’d like that, babe.” When she seals the deal with her soft lips on mine, I’m complete. But I’m no fool. I know she’s still hiding something from me. What that something is, I haven’t a clue. I’m just hoping it won’t be the end of us.

Chapter Nineteen

Lyra

I’m longing to wash away all of my sins as I step inside the shower. After the way Gage looked at me, I feel dirty and tainted. It will be forever etched in my mind and embedded in my heart. I destroyed him. Nothing will ever be the same between us again. I can already feel it. The way he kisses me. Holds me. As far as Gage is concerned, love and trust go hand in hand and I just severed both. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s pushed me off of that pedestal he’d put me on so long ago.

Out of nowhere, tears as hot and scalding as the shower start clogging the drain. Drowning me. Suffocating me. Until I can barely breathe. Sinking to my knees, I clasp my arms tightly around my trembling frame. I then purge myself of everything that’s clawing its way out of my chest. And grieve for the life I once had and the choices I’ve made along the way.

Once I’ve finished showering, I throw on some clean clothes and follow my nose. Something smells wonderful. So imagine my surprise when I step inside the kitchen and my favorite breakfast is waiting for me. Blueberry pancakes with hot maple syrup and a pound of bacon. Okay, okay. Gage assured me it was only half a pound, but hey, he ate some of it too. Now I’m lounging around on the couch while he washes the dishes. Feeling just a tad spoiled and guilty as all hell. When Gage turns up the radio and I hear one of our songs, I quickly jump off the couch and wrap my arms around his waist. “Dance with me,” I whisper against the curve of his spine.

When he spins around and his wet hands press me against his chest, I exhale. Never realizing I was holding my breath to begin with. After everything I revealed to him earlier, I was skeptical about whether or not he’d want to dance with me. My doubts begin to melt away as Gage serenades me, while Ed Sheeran sings “Thinking Out Loud.” But my heart skips a beat when he croons, ‘will your mouth still remember the taste of my love,’ while we sway to the rhythm of the music. I know that verse is part of the lyrics, but the tone of his voice just breaks my heart. He’s being cautious and I don’t blame him.

We continue dancing, long after the song has ended. Neither one of us wanting to break the connection. A few months ago, I would have happily grabbed his hand and led him into the bedroom. Where we would have made love all afternoon and well into the evening. But after the conversation we just had, I wonder if he’ll ever want to be intimate with me again... now that he knows another man’s hands have been all over me. Inside of me. Gage startles me when he says, “What are you thinking, babe? Your heart’s racing and your cheeks are flushed.”

Oh God! He would hate me if he only knew. “I’m thinking about the little things, Gage, and how I will never take them for granted ever again.” When his fingertips graze the bottom of my chin, I tilt my head up to meet his gaze. And my breath catches when his long fingers comb through my hair before settling at my nape.

“What little things, Lyra?”

“The warmth of the sun as it touches my skin. Sleeping in my bed. Being able to use my own body wash and shampoo. Having the freedom to come and go as I please. I could spend forever telling you about all the little things. But that’s not important right now, being here with you is.”  No words could be truer. Gage has my heart.

So much emotion washes over him in such a short period of time, I’m ready to bolt. Until his warm mouth captures mine and his tongue begins a very thorough search. My normally sweet boy is greedy and demanding as he claims me like never before. Our teeth clash, our pulses race as he nips and sucks until we’re both panting with need. By the time we come up for air, I’m ready, willing and able. But when I feel him recoil, I back away immediately. Unshed tears begin to pool but I’ll be damned if I let them fall. “I’m so sorry, Gage. I don’t know what else I can possibly say to make it better.”

“I want you, Lyra. Don’t ever doubt it. I just need a little more time to wrap my head around all of this before I can make love to you. Okay?”

No. It’s not okay. But what other choice do I have? He’s hurt. And I’m the one who did this to him, so it’s up to me to fix it. I just don’t know what more I can possibly do. Other than giving him some space and time. They say time heals all wounds so I’ll have to sit back and wait. Hopefully, he’ll be able to get past this because if he can’t, we’re over. So much for the truth setting me free. In my situation, it reared its ugly head and bit me in the ass. Great!

“I hate to leave you alone but I need to finish up some things at work. Will you be okay?”

“I’m fine, Gage. Really, I am.” Liar liar pants on fire. The second he walks out the door I’m going to fold like a cheap lawn chair. “I’m going to make a few calls about getting my old job back. If not, then maybe they’ll have something else I can do at the library. I’m sure I have tons of e-mails and stuff I can catch up on. And I’d love to call Kennedy, but the last time I talked to her she said she’d be in London until the first of May. Other than that, I’ll just hang tight until you come home.” God, I sound so pathetic. Boring.

“You can visit with my mom while I’m at work if you don’t want to be alone here. I’m sure she’d love to see you.” Oh, hell to the no! The last thing I want to do is play twenty questions with his mom. I love her to death but I’m not quite ready for that either. To be honest, I don’t know what the hell I’m ready for anymore. The only thing I know is I feel like I’m falling, and I’m afraid Gage won’t be the one to catch me.

Gage

Dad actually gave me the rest of the week off so Lyra and I could celebrate her homecoming. So what did I do? I told her I had to work so I could get the hell out of there. What I wanted to do was throw her on the bed and take back what was mine. So she could remember what it felt like to have me inside of her instead of some fucking stranger. God, when I think of his hands all over her I want to exhume what’s left of his body, just so I can kill him all over again.

After the explosion, I had promised myself I wouldn’t read one single article that pertained to Jonathan Day. Unfortunately, it lasted all of about two seconds. I had to see what the mofo looked like. Big mistake. Now I have a visual that’s constantly playing on repeat in my head of the two of them all tangled together. It’s not pretty. Especially now that I know she was a willing partner. Fuck! I need to get the hell over this really fast or it’s going to eat away at me. Until it kills me.

My first impression of Jonathan Day was he looked like a sick fuck. With his scraggly beard and long hair he reminded me of Charles Manson. Now that I think of it, even his eyes were maniacal. Black and lifeless. How the hell am I supposed to erase all of this from my brain?

And now that I’ve seen her journals, I desperately want to read them. Does that sound fucked up? Yes. Yes, it does. But I can’t help it. I need to get inside of her head, so I can feel everything she was feeling. Was she frightened? Did she feel hopeless? Abandoned? Vulnerable? It’s the not knowing that’s fucking killing me.

One of my worst case scenarios portrays Jonathan Day as Lyra’s Master, and Lyra as his submissive. Throw in some bondage, spanking and discipline. No ... I won’t allow myself to go there, because it will drive me fucking insane!

I haven’t been totally honest with Lyra. But in my defense, it’s a surprise. I’m positive that once she finds out what I’ve been up to, she won’t be angry. I’m picking up her best friend Kennedy at the airport tomorrow. When Lyra insisted on coming home early, Kennedy said London could wait. It will still be there whenever she decides to go back. She was quick to remind me that Lyra was her number one priority. I know she thinks I’m sugarcoating the fact that Lyra’s fine. But Kennedy insisted she had to see her with her own two eyes. Whatever. It’s all good.

To get my mind off of Lyra, I decide to stop by work. Maybe it’ll be good for me to get my head out of my ass and concentrate on something other than Lyra and Jonathan bumping uglies.

I gently tap on my dad’s office door before going to mine. “Hey, what the hell are you doing here?” ejects from his mouth when I peek inside. He motions for me to enter.

“Lyra needed some space. So I decided to come by and finish off the Merritt project.”

“It’s not due for another month, Gage. Talk to me.” I’d like nothing more than to get all of this shit off of my chest, but I’ve never aired out my dirty laundry to my dad. And I’m not about to start now.

I know he’s in for the long haul when he leans forward and places his elbows on the desk. Waiting. Suddenly, my tongue engages before my brain has a chance to shut it down. “Lyra told me the truth about what happened at the cabin. And I’m having a really hard time accepting it.”

The man doesn’t even flinch. It’s as if he were waiting for me to confirm what he already knew. Damn, he’s good. “Did you want her to lie, Gage? To spare your feelings.”

Well, shit. How the hell do I answer that without sounding like a dick? “No. We’ve never lied to one another and I don’t want her to start now.” I can’t help but blow out an exasperated breath before continuing. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting her to be so straightforward about it.”

“You’ll have to be a little more specific if you want me to understand.”

I’m uncomfortable discussing this with my father. And he can clearly see that by the way my hand massages the back of my neck. I’m desperately trying to relieve some of the nervous tension that’s in full swing. The last thing I want to do is portray Lyra as lascivious. “I appreciate you wanting to help, but I can’t discuss this with you. It’s something Lyra and I need to work out on our own.”

“I understand, son. Just know that I’m here for you if you need to talk. Do me a favor?”

I’m so glad he’s not pressing me further. “Sure, Dad. Anything.” When he stands, so do I. And I’m taken by surprise when he pulls me in for a hug.

“Go home, Gage. I know for certain that Lyra doesn’t need space. You just took it upon yourself to leave before you’d say something you’d regret. Unfortunately, you’re a lot like me in that respect. And you can’t work out your problems if you’re here with your old man. Go. Don’t waste another precious minute.”

“You’re right, Dad. Thanks. I’ll call you in a few.” I pull him in for another hug and then turn back the way I came to spend some quality time with Lyra.

By the time I pull into the driveway, I’ve gone over everything I want to say to her at least a thousand times. Okay, I might be exaggerating. But the moment I open the front door and see her red-rimmed eyes all I can manage is a, “Hey.”

My heart aches when fresh tears begin to fall. In two long strides, I have her in my arms. And when she whispers, “Hey,” I nuzzle into her as she falls apart. Again.

Chapter Twenty

Lyra

Clearly, I thought Gage and I had taken a few steps forward last night. Until he woke up at the crack of dawn and disappeared. No note. No explanation, just gone. I tried texting him several times, but he hasn’t texted me back yet. Now, I’m getting pissed. The least he could have done was let me know where he was going and what time he’d be home. Several hours go by and I still don’t know where he went.

I’m sitting at the island, sipping my third cup of coffee when the front door opens. Cody cocks her head and begins growling. Wow, I know she’s not too fond of Gage but this is crazy. “It’s only Gage, silly girl. Hush.” My eyes are emitting imaginary daggers by the time he steps through the doorway. He looks guilty as hell when his eyes land on mine. I knew it!

“I hope you’re not angry with me, Lyra, because it would ruin the awesome surprise I have for you. That’s why I had to leave so early this morning. I had to pick it up. Do you want to see it?”

“Where have you been, Gage? You promised me last night that we’d spend some time together and you go pull a stupid stunt like this. And you didn’t leave a note.” I’m so wired from all the caffeine, that when I push back my chair to stand up, it hits the floor. But I stop dead in my tracks when I see a beautiful woman with long dark hair push past Gage. No, it can’t be. She’s supposed to be in London, not here in my kitchen.

“If you thought for one minute I’d choose all those sexy Englishmen over you, then you’re cray-cray.”

“Kennedy…”

“Were you hoping for the Queen of England? You know she would have been here but she had a previous engagement. Disappointed?” she asks.

“Not at all. She’s a bit too proper and straitlaced for my taste.” Kennedy closes the distance between us and when she pulls me in for a hug, I break.

“You scared the shit out of me, Lyra Rose Harper. Don’t ever do that again.” You know someone’s your bestie when they’re not worried about you ruining their best Dolce and Gabbana dress.

Once I’ve stopped blubbering like a two-year-old, I ask, “How long are you staying?”

“For as long as you need me, girlfriend.” Aww. And that’s why she’s my best friend. Although, a few months ago, I would have told her to go back to England and have some fun. Now, not so much. I guess being held captive in a secluded mountain cabin has its drawbacks. Yeah, and I hadn’t realized how much I missed everyone until I came home.

“Let’s get you settled into the guest room and then we’ll swap stories,” I say. “Wanna make a bet who’s going to win?”

If Kennedy answered my question, I didn’t hear her. All of my attention is focused on Gage. Who’s sitting on the couch petting Cody? Hells bells. He’s actually placating the dog so Kennedy and I can have some alone time. This is one of the many reasons why I love this man. He is selfless, considerate and forgiving. Everything I am not. “He’s a keeper, Lyra. Go give him a great big hug for picking up your BFF at the airport.”

When he sees Kennedy whispering in my ear, he swipes his hands down the front of his jeans before standing. He’s nervous and it’s all my fault. After everything I’ve done, I have no right whatsoever to be angry at him. I’m the one who has to fight like hell to gain his trust, not the other way around.

All of his anxiety and tension seem to dissipate the moment I wrap my arms around him. “You knew how important it was for Kennedy to be here and you made it happen. Thank you, Gage. You’re too good for me and I don’t deserve you.”

I get all choked up when he leans down and kisses the corner of my mouth. Somehow it feels more intimate than the real deal. “Hey, stop beating yourself up. All I want is for you to be happy, Lyra. That’s all any of us want. The rest is up to you, babe.”

He’s absolutely right. I am responsible for my own happiness. Me, myself and I. So, taking a deep breath I get lost in his beautiful brown eyes. As a million butterflies come to life in the pit of my stomach. Reminding me of the first time I let these three words tumble from my lips. “I love you with all of my heart, Gage. I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving…” His lips come crashing down on mine, swallowing all of my promises. I’m holding onto him for dear life when his tongue slips between my lips on a breathy moan. Oh God. I’d forgotten what it was like to get lost in him.

“Oh for God sake’s, get a room! I told you to thank him, not molest him. Geez, Louise.”

I laugh when Gage’s lips turn into a full-fledged smile. My best friend has no filter. None. She tells you like it is, whether you want to hear it or not. Do not. I repeat, do not ask for her opinion, if you don’t want to hear the unbridled truth. “Gage, I feel terrible. We were supposed to hang out for the rest of the week.”

“Don’t worry about it, Lyra. We have the rest of our lives to play catch up. Unfortunately, Kennedy will be gone before you know it. Go have some fun, babe.”

He steals one quick kiss before striding out the door. Leaving me alone and exposed with the only person I can’t hide from.

“Did I ever tell you that boy reminds me of Theo James? You know, that hottie from The Hunger Games.”

Seriously, she cracks me up. Every single time. “Yes, you have. And every time you’ve mentioned it, Theo’s in a different movie. He’s in the Divergent series, Kennedy. Remember that for next time.”

“Potato, potato. Same difference. Boy meets girl, they go through a ton of shit and then they fall madly in love. End of story. Now, come sit down over here and tell me all about your real life horror show.”

I thought one of the hardest things I’d have to handle after leaving the safe house would be confronting my parents. Surely, my mother of all people would be able to see right through my disguise. Astonishingly, she didn’t. As a journalist, she assumed it was suitable behavior for someone who had been kidnapped. Supposedly, I was a better actress than I’d given myself credit for. But now that Kennedy and I are alone, I wonder, am I strong enough to keep up my façade?

Kennedy

I’ve been sitting here for the last hour listening to every word that spews from her mouth. I call bullshit on ninety-five percent of it. It sounds rehearsed. Staged. Like someone trained her to tell it like it is. What the fuck! I’m her best friend. Why is she not being honest with me? She might have been able to fool Gage, but I’m not buying it. And unlike him, I will call her out on her shit.

Once she’s finished her clever tale, I stand up and applaud. Instantly, her mouth gapes. “Bravo, Lyra. You did a wonderful job of retelling their version of the story. Whoever they are. Now, I want you to tell me what really happened.”

“What the hell! I just cut myself wide open and all you can do is clap.” Lyra pushes off the couch so fast, she stumbles and I quickly steady her before she falls flat on her face.

“Dammit, Lyra. It’s me. Kennedy. You can lie to everyone who loves you because they wear blinders where you’re concerned. But I don’t.” When she storms off into the kitchen, I follow. I’m not backing down this time because I know if I do, she’ll be lost to me forever. The friend I know and love will cease to exist. And I will never let that happen. “Lyra, please…” she spins around when I reach out to touch her arm and she screams. Startling me. Cody rushes into the room and bares her teeth. Immediately, she places herself between Lyra and me. Holy shit! She thinks I’m hurting her.

Lyra drops to her knees and embraces the dog. “Shh. I’m fine, Cody. She won’t hurt me. Not physically, anyway.” Ouch. I watch her stroke and scratch the dog’s thick fur, until Cody’s no longer panting and agitated. Then with a flick of her wrist she commands, “Go,” and the dog disappears. Wow. I’m sure she’d like to be able to dismiss me that easily right about now.

Several awkward minutes tick by while I try to find the right words. And when her eyes finally meet mine, they’re glistening with tears. “Lyra, I…” She shakes her head as the tears begin falling. “I loved him, Kennedy. I was in love with my abductor. How fucked up is that?” I watch her eyes suddenly widen in horror as her attention shifts to something behind me. His spicy cologne gives him away. Gage.

Shit, shit, shit!

Before I have a chance to turn around, the door slams. And Lyra’s nothing but a blur as she runs by me. I, on the other hand, fall into the closest chair I can find. I should have stayed in London where I belonged and let the two of them work out their own problems. But when Gage had called, he sounded so distraught I thought I could fix it. Fix her. What a joke. I’m a joke. Hence the reason I’ve never been in a real relationship. All I seem to be good at are one-night stands. Hook-ups. And a lot of lonely nights.

I have no idea what’s going on out there, but I’m making myself invisible. I think I’ve done more than enough already. Grabbing a bottle of wine, I opt out of using a glass. By the sound of it, I could be in here for a very, very long time. In fact, I just might have to sleep here. Hmm, now that’s a scary thought.

Two hours and a bottle of wine later, Lyra strolls through the door. Her red-rimmed eyes are a telltale sign that things didn’t go quite as I had hoped. Dammit! This is all my fault. When she plops down in the chair across from me, I grab her hands. “Hey, how about we change into our PJ’s and watch Orange is the New Black? We’ll order a pizza, open a bottle of wine—since I finished this one—and we’ll have some girl time. What say you, sound good?”

“He left me, Kennedy. I tried so hard to make him understand what he overheard. But he can’t wrap his head around the fact that I love them both. Hell, neither can I. Now all I want to do is crawl into my bed, pull the covers over my head and forget.”

“Lyra, Gage loves you. Once he’s sorted it all out, he’ll come home. Come on, you need some girl time and I’m just the one to give it to you.”

Chapter Twenty-One

May

Lyra

Lately, I find myself breaking down the calendar into little increments. Instead of years, months, and days, I break it into days, hours, and minutes. For example, it’s been thirty-six days since Ryker set me free. Two weeks since Gage left. Forty-two hours since I drove Kennedy to the airport. And seventy-seven minutes since I found a new job. Crazy right? Well, it seems to be the only way I can process everything that’s transpired so far. Especially since it feels like I’ve lived a lifetime in just a few short months. So much has happened, yet nothing has been resolved. Ryker’s still alive but nowhere to be found. Gage hasn’t bothered to move back home. And Kennedy—my BFF—is now back in London, wreaking havoc on all the Brits.

God, Save the Queen.

The minute I step inside my apartment and kick off my shoes, I grab my phone. I think about texting my mom to let her know about my new job, but sometimes a girl just needs to hear the sound of her mother’s voice. It’s comforting.

I flop down in the closest chair and listen to the call going through. My heart sinks when it goes directly to voicemail. Shit! I desperately wanted to talk to her. I don’t waste my time leaving a message, I just toss my phone on the couch.

After tucking my legs underneath me, I close my eyes. Resting my head against the back of the chair. It’s so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Immediately, my eyes pop wide open and my heart quickens. Cody! She’s normally here to greet me the second I open the door. Bolting out of the chair, I race from room to room. “Cody. Cody! Where are you?” Silence. Goose bumps break out along my skin once I’ve checked each and every room. This is so stupid! She’s smart, but I know she can’t open doors. Panic suddenly washes over me. Did I leave the back door open this morning? I’m frozen in place, the minute I look out the back deck. Gage is sitting on the beach, while Cody chases the waves. His dark, wavy hair is tousled from the salty ocean breeze, causing my heart to skip a beat. Is he home to stay?

Taking a deep breath, I slide open the door and step outside. Cody sees me instantly and races towards me. She’s cold, wet, and loaded with sand when I squat down to give her some loving. You might think I was gone for a week instead of hours. Now that’s unconditional love. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if people could love without expecting anything in return? Unfortunately, we’re a selfish bunch and we always want what we can’t have. Sad but true. Fortunately, our pets are the only ones who can forgive us despite our flaws.

I glance up just in time to see Gage moving towards me with intent. Leaving dread to roll around in the pit of my stomach. His unwavering gaze is locked on mine as he ambles his way through the damp sand. When I stand up, Cody’s attention suddenly focuses on a flock of seagulls. I’m all but forgotten as she chases them down the beach. Leaving me all alone with nothing but Gage’s intense stare. I shield my eyes against the bright sun until he is standing directly in front of me. Then his height and broad shoulders swallow the sun, allowing me to admire his handsome face. I have missed him. With a fierceness that I never knew existed. As soon as his palm brushes my cheek, I melt into his touch.

“God I miss you so much, babe... ”

“Gage, I—” he lightly presses his fingertips to my lips.

“I need to ask you one question, Lyra. And then I promise I’ll never mention him again. Did you love him because he saved your life?”

I didn’t think my heart could possibly break any more than it already has, but seeing the pain reflected in his eyes just tears me apart. “Not one day went by that I didn’t think of you. I missed you with every fiber of my being. But you weren’t there and I never thought I’d ever see you again. I’m so sorry, Gage. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t have been so weak…”

“Stop. You’re not weak, Lyra. Far from it. In fact, you’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever known. Especially after everything he put you through.” I want to close my eyes and melt against him when Cody decides to get in on the action.

“Cody! Argh, you’re all wet and sandy. Get down!” I’m trying desperately to brush myself off when Gage throws his head back, laughing. “It’s not funny. Now I have to give her a bath.”

I’m caught off guard when Gage wraps his arms around me and whispers, “Who’s going to give you a bath, Lyra?”

What? Oh, good lord! One minute we’re discussing ‘Ryker’ and the next, Gage wants to give me a bath? Seriously? My mind’s screaming at me to say no but my body remembers all too well what it was like to be loved by this man. He’s such a gentle and caring lover and has always been sensitive to my needs. Always. I desperately want to be intimate with him again. But I’m afraid it will conjure up all sorts of memories of Ryker and me.

Gage quickly eases the sexual tension. “Why don’t you bring Cody around to the outdoor shower and I’ll go get her shampoo. Then I’ll help you wash her since I’m the one who let her chase the waves. Sound good?”

Yeah, it sounds great. But I don’t want to get my hopes up in case he leaves at the end of the day. Which reminds me. “I didn’t see your truck when I pulled in. How’d you get here?”

“I just needed to think, so I decided to go for a walk. An hour later I found myself here. I didn’t know where you were or when you’d be back, so I decided to let her out. Big mistake, huh?”

My chest feels like it’s about to explode. I want to ask him. What’s a mistake, Gage? Letting her out or walking here to see me? No, no, no. I don’t want to know. The important thing is he’s here. We’ll leave it at that. Instead of answering him, I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his cheek. “I’ll get her ready, while you get the shampoo.”

Gage

What the fuck am I doing? I’m such an idiot! I came here today to talk to her, not seduce her. Fuck! I still love her.

I love Lyra Rose Harper. There, I’ve said it and I mean every damn word. So, the quicker I say what I came here to say, the better it will be. For the both of us.

I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of her since she started walking away. But before she disappears around the corner, she turns to say, “It wasn’t a mistake, Gage. I’m glad you came.” My heart slams against my chest when a beautiful smile sweeps across her face. Yeah, now I’m wearing a shit-eating grin too. I’m so screwed.

Once I’ve grabbed the shampoo, I meet her around back. Cody’s secured to the post and Lyra’s getting her wet. To no avail. Cody loves the ocean, but apparently not the shower. “Here, let me help you.” Lyra starts talking to her as I wet her down and begin washing her thick coat. I’d never admit this to Lyra but she is a good watch dog. I’m glad she’s here for her. We’re both on our knees, scrubbing and shampooing, and I’m beginning to think we’re just as wet as Cody. If not more.

Once we’ve finished, the last thing I want is for her to go traipsing through the sand. “I’ll bring her into the sunroom to dry off.”

“I can take her, Gage, if you’d like to change into some dry clothes.” I can’t help wondering if the blush along her cheeks is from exertion or from something else. Because I know the sight of her in a wet T-shirt is turning me the hell on. I need to get out of here before she sees how she’s affected me.

“I’m fine, Lyra. You go change while I bring her in the house.” The minute I grab Cody’s collar, she begins to shake, splattering water everywhere. Apparently, she didn’t think I was wet enough because she waited until Lyra had left. “Thanks a lot, Cody.” But I can’t help chuckling as I lead her through the kitchen since it’s the shortest route.

Once I’ve locked her in the sunroom, I linger. I look through the mail, grab a drink and check on her one more time before heading upstairs to change. But as soon as I walk into our bedroom, I know I’ve made a huge mistake. Lyra’s just walking out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel. And when her eyes lock on mine, she freezes. That fucking sucks!

“I needed to take a shower because I had sand in my…”

In a few long strides, I have her in my arms and my mouth’s crashing down on hers. I seek the shelter of her warm mouth by parting her lips with my tongue. She tastes like heaven and since I’ve been living in hell for so long, it feels like she’s breathing life into me again.

When a moan escapes the back of her throat, I don’t hesitate. I tug on that damn towel until it hits the floor. Now the only clothes that stand in the way of me and my girl are mine. “If you don’t want this, Lyra, stop me now. Otherwise, I’ll be too far gone.” I rest my head against hers, trying to push down my emotions before I can continue. “I want to swap out every memory you’ve ever made with him, with memories of us. Please. Let me show you how much I love you.” I should leave right now before she rejects me, but I can’t. I want to be the last one inside of her. Not him. Then I’ll be able to walk away and do what needs to be done. No matter the outcome.

I’m holding my breath, waiting for her answer, when her trembling hands dip below the hem of my shirt. Searing my skin with every brush and every touch of her fingertips. Before she pulls my shirt over my head and throws it on the floor. My breath catches as she tugs on my wet jeans and has them pooling around my ankles. Now my hard-on is straining against my boxers, begging for her touch. “Gage, you’re wet. Do you want to take a hot shower?”

I might be cold and damp, but I have a cure for that standing right in front of me. “I might be wet, babe, but as you can see, I’m already hot.” In one swift motion, I lift her up as she clings to me for dear life. But when her legs lock around my waist, I lose my breath. Fuck! The heat emanating from her core is pressed tightly against my cock. It’s been so long that I’m afraid I’ll blow my load before I have a chance to make it good for her.

I don’t stop walking until my knees come in contact with the edge of the bed. And then I gently lay her down. Lyra’s still wrapped around me when I place my hands on either side of her head. Now, I’m staring into the eyes of the only girl I’ve ever loved, when she pulls me a breath away from her mouth. “Make love to me, Gage. Please... ”

My cock twitches in anticipation when my mouth covers hers. Hard and hungry. And when I hear those little whimpers that I love so fucking much, I lose all self-control.

Reluctantly, I stop kissing her. So I can worship and explore the rest of her body. Slowly, I glide my lips down her neck. Lingering, just long enough to lick and suck on all the places that drive her wild. Her pulse points, right below her ears and the base of her throat. I leave tender kisses along her collarbones before wandering down to her breasts. Allowing my tongue to circle her areolas before sucking her nipple into my mouth. I love the feel of it against my tongue. It’s silky smooth and rigid both at the same time. Then I bite, blow and flick until she’s grinding against me. “Gage, please... ”

“We have all night, babe. Let me love you slowly.” When her hands leave the back of my neck and slide into the back of my boxers, I moan. But when her hands slither around my hips and wrap around my cock...

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I nearly lose my ever loving mind!

Lyra’s stroking me from base to tip and it feels so fucking amazing that I don’t want her to stop. Ever. But I know if she continues, I’m going to come in her hand. And there’s someplace else I’d rather be when I do. “Mmm, you have very talented hands, but I want to be inside of you when I come.” Quickly, I push off the bed, dispose of my underwear and position myself between her thighs.

“Gage, I need you.”

When her eyes land on mine, I slowly push inside of her. My heart is hammering inside of my chest as her warm, wet heat wraps around me like a glove. Sucking me in. Inch by inch. Until I’m deep inside of her and we are now one. “Fuck. You feel so damn good, babe.”

I’m turned on even more when Lyra’s gaze dips down to where our bodies are joined. But I’m stunned when her eyes drift back up to mine and she whispers, “Fuck me harder, Gage. Please…”

What? Where did that come from? This is the first time Lyra has ever been vocal with me in the bedroom. With the exception of her little moans and mews, she’s normally quiet. So sue me when I get a niggling feeling that creeps across my skin. Is this how she was with him? Did they talk dirty to one another just so they could get off? Hurt turns into anger when I thrust inside of her. Harder and deeper than I’ve ever dared to go before. For fear of hurting her. If she wants it rough, then that’s exactly what she’ll get.

Within minutes I can feel her clenching around me while she’s screaming my name. “Yes! Gage, I’m coming! Ahhh…”

I can’t help being sucked in when her hands slide around to my ass, pulling me in tighter. Prolonging her orgasm and forcing me to surrender to the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had in my life.

Feels. So. Fucking. Good.

Before I know it, Lyra is sitting up and grabbing her clothes. “Gage... I-I need to go to the bathroom.” Okay. I guess cuddling is out of the question.

I leave a quick kiss on the corner of her mouth before rolling onto my back. But I’m hurt when Lyra races out the door. What the hell? It’s like she can’t get away from me fast enough. Suddenly, I feel like I just got played. Did she just use me for sex? Fucking A! I think she did.

After throwing on a pair of clean jeans, I go downstairs. I’m hoping I’m wrong, but my first instinct has me heading straight for the sunroom. When I see her kneeling on the floor with hers arms wrapped around Cody, I stop dead in my tracks. It’s at this very moment that I know. She’s crying for him.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Lyra

I have no idea how long I’ve been hugging Cody but my heart stutters when One by Ed Sheeran begins to play.

Music has always been Gage’s way of expressing his feelings when he can’t find the right words.

I can’t speak. There’s a gigantic lump caught in my throat that I can’t swallow down. No matter how hard I try. When, “You are the only one,” resonates around the room, tears threaten to fall. But by the time the lyrics, “Take my hand and my heart and soul, I will only have these eyes for you,” start to play, I can’t stop the tears from flowing even if I’d wanted to.

I can barely hear Gage whisper above the music, “I don’t want to be just your friend, Lyra. I want to be your everything. Because god knows that’s what you are to me.”

I can hear both of our hearts breaking in unison and it’s all my fault. Mine! A sob rips through my chest just as he kneels down in front of me. When his warm hands frame my face, I launch myself at him. “Gage, I promise I’ll try harder…”

I feel the goodbye on his lips as he quiets me with his mouth. Memorizing. Savoring. Until I taste the salt of his tears mingling with mine. Now, we are two bodies with one heartbeat.

Gage sighs before leaning his head against mine. “I guess subconsciously I had a reason for coming here today.” He leaves a tender kiss on both of my cheeks. “I had no intention of making love to you, Lyra. Until I saw you wearing that damn towel.” Silent tears continue to stream down his face as he kisses the tip of my nose. His piercing brown eyes lock on mine when he whispers, “I just want you to know, this is not goodbye.”

“What?” I must’ve misunderstood him, right? I’ve no doubt, he can hear my racing heart as he slides to the floor. He’s leaving? Suddenly, his arms wrap around me and the next thing I know, I’m sitting in his lap.

“I have had a lot to deal with over the past few weeks. I didn’t want to burden you with any of it because you’ve been through enough to last you a lifetime. But I can’t put it off any longer.” When he takes a deep breath, I know it isn’t good. “I was offered a job in Toronto with a prestigious architectural firm and I’ve accepted it.”

He’s saying goodbye, he just doesn’t want to admit it. “I’m happy for you, Gage. But a selfish part of me doesn’t want to let you go.” I straddle him so I can see his reaction when I ask, “Are you doing this because of what you overheard that day I was talking to Kennedy?”

“No. Absolutely not. There’s no doubt in my mind that you love me, Lyra. I feel it right here.” When he grabs my hand and places it over his heart, I fall apart. “I’m just not sure if you’re in love with me anymore. Baby, please don’t cry. I promise this is not goodbye, I’m just letting you go. I’m only signing on for six months. If they like what they see, then I’ll be hired on permanently. Listen to me, Lyra.” When his large hands frame my face, I have no choice but to look into his teary gaze. “When you want to hear the sound of my voice, call me. If you’re having a great day and you want to let me know, text me. Hell, you can call or text any time of day or night and I promise, I’ll do the same.”

What I don’t understand is why he hasn’t asked me to move to Toronto with him? Before I have a chance to ask, he says, “I’m not asking you to come with me because I’m giving you time to decide if I’m the one you want to spend forever with. Once I’ve fulfilled my contract, then you can be the one to decide if I stay in Toronto or come home to you. I would give it all up for you, Lyra. In a heartbeat. Because in the end, all I want is your happiness.”

I have no words. Months ago, I thought Ryker had made the ultimate sacrifice. His life for mine. He didn’t give me a choice. But Gage just did. Dammit! Now I have six months to decide whether I want the man who loves me unconditionally, or the one who left me behind. I shouldn’t have to give it a second thought. It’s a no-brainer. Unfortunately, I’m in love with both of them. Gage will always have my heart, but somehow Ryker owns my body and soul. And if I can’t figure this out soon, it has the potential to destroy us all. “When are you leaving?”

“I’m taking the red-eye out on Monday.”

How can I possibly say goodbye to someone who’s been the very air I breathe? Impossible. Forty-eight hours just isn’t enough time to show Gage how much he truly means to me. Because in my heart, I know. The moment he walks out that door, he won’t be back. “Will you let me drive you to the airport?”

The tortured look on his face says it all. “Absolutely not. I’m not that strong. I’ve even asked my mom to stay home. It’s going to be just my dad and me.”

I nuzzle into his neck and just breathe. I want to drink in his scent until it’s embedded beneath my skin so I will never, ever forget him. If I hadn’t been consumed by lust, I wouldn’t be in this situation. Why, oh why did I give myself so freely to Ryker? When I had this incredible man waiting for me all along? “Please don’t go, Gage.”

He wraps his arms around me so tightly, not even the thinnest piece of paper would fit between us. I want to wail when I feel his heart beating in sync with mine. Gage is wrong. He is my everything. So please tell me why that isn’t enough?

“I’ve been agonizing over this for weeks now, Lyra. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I feel like it’s the right one. Not just for me, but for both of us. I’ve never forgotten how great we were together, but you need time alone to remember. I’m hoping absence will ‘make the heart grow fonder.’ Seriously babe, you need time to heal. And I don’t think you’d be able to do that if I’m here with you. You would come to resent me because without realizing it, I’d be suffocating you.”

Gage and I were the perfect couple. Until Ryker Steel rescued me. Now, I’m being torn apart because I’m in love with both men. And the sad part about this whole situation is, only one of them loves me back. And he’s the one who’s leaving.

“Did you have any plans for the weekend, Lyra?”

“Only you, Gage. Only you,” I whisper as my mouth claims his. While Photograph by Ed Sheeran plays in the background. How apropos.

Gage

After the weekend I spent with Lyra, I almost didn’t get on the plane. Until I remembered why I was leaving in the first place...

I accidentally found out through a friend of a friend that Lyra and Kennedy were taking off for the weekend. So I decided it was the perfect opportunity for me to sneak into my own house and pick up the Merritt project I’d been working on. But the minute I walked into the house and heard the words, “I was in love with my abductor, Kennedy. How fucked up is that?” all rational thought disappeared. Yeah, you guessed it. I went rummaging through our closet to find all of the journals she so lovingly tucked away. They screamed, “Read me!” And I did. Not once, but twice. They gutted me. It was very difficult to accept that the woman I love had penned them. Sadly, there was no mistaking Lyra’s handwriting. It was all there in black and white…

Once I was over the initial shock, I realized she referred to him as Ryker Steel, not Jonathan Day. So I Googled him. Imagine my surprise when a shit-ton of pictures appeared. I didn’t recognize the man staring back at me. Short black hair, piercing blue eyes and an enigmatic smile. The opposite of Jonathan Day’s long dark hair, black lifeless eyes and permanent scowl. Hmm, clever disguise. Other pics were taken during his tour in Afghanistan, while he was serving in the Marine Corps. One article stated he was working for the DEA when he dropped off the grid. How convenient. But the pics that really piqued my interest were the ones where he had his arms possessively wrapped around a woman. According to the articles, it was his wife, Bella. No wonder he was so fascinated with my woman. She was the mirror image of his. That fucking bastard!

The last article stated that he disappeared a few weeks after his wife was killed by a hit and run driver. I suppose since he worked for the government, it wouldn’t have been too hard for him to obtain a new identity. Would it? Conveniently, Ryker Steel becomes Jonathan Day. Very clever.

I feel absolutely no remorse. As far as I’m concerned, the bastard got what he deserved. Now I need time to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. Hence, the reason I decided to take the job in Toronto. I’m hoping time will be kind to Lyra and me. Because even after everything I read, I still want to spend a lifetime with her.

The architectural firm I’m working for is picking up my rental tab. So I’m staying at The Summerhill while I’m in Toronto. It’s a big apartment complex with some great amenities. An indoor pool, a gym, and a set of tennis courts. I’ve never played tennis, but I suppose you’re never too old to learn. I’m not sure if I’ll have time to partake in all the festivities since I’ll be focusing on advancing my career, but it’s nice to know they’re available to blow off some pent up steam.

As I’m unpacking, all I can think about is Lyra. I can’t help wondering what she’s doing right now. In this moment. Or, if she’s thinking about me, too. Then it hits me. Why didn’t I ever put two and two together? How could I have been so blind? Lyra seems to fall for guys who come to her rescue. I should know that better than anyone...

I don’t know why I let Vince talk me into coming to this stupid party tonight. Since I’m in the minority when it comes to drugs and drinking. Or the double D’s as I prefer to call them. Okay, get your mind out of the gutter. Although, if someone were to offer me a pair, I definitely have something I could put in between them. And it certainly would make this nightmare a whole lot easier to handle.

“Hey, Gage! Get your sweet ass over here.”

Shit. I was about to blow this taco stand when Vince called me out. This is not my scene and I just want to get the hell out of here. Once I push through the crowd and see him talking to a girl with long dark hair, I falter. She’s drop-dead gorgeous. It doesn’t hurt that she’s wearing a barely-there dress that shows off that curvaceous body. I hate to admit it but my dick likes her too. Cock tease.

“Kennedy, this is Gage. The hot guy you’ve been drooling over all night.”

Way to go, douchebag. I’m just about to call him out for being so obnoxious when she retorts. “The only reason I was drooling was because your breath stinks. Do me and the world a favor by grabbing yourself a tic-tac!”

Wow. I like her already. “C’mon, Kennedy, let’s go for a walk. And according to you, a much needed breath of fresh air.” She laughs as I place my hand against the base of her spine so I can guide her outside. The heat oozing from her back radiates throughout my fingertips. Sending mini shock waves to my libido. Fuck! Maybe this night won’t be a waste of time after all.

“Tell me why a sexy guy like you would want to hang around with that loser?”

She thinks I’m sexy? Well, hell. “Vince isn’t a bad guy once you get to know him. Hey, if it weren’t for him we wouldn’t be having this conversation, now would we?”

Once again, she laughs. It’s so sensual I can feel it. Everywhere. “Yes, I suppose it did. Putting up with his rancid breath was well worth it now that you’re here.”

I would never admit it to Kennedy, but she’s a lot like Vince. They have no filter. They say what’s on their mind. I tend to hold back for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. That’s how I was raised and I’m not ashamed of it. I was taught to be a gentleman. Now, if someone could read my mind, well, that would be a different story altogether.

I stop walking when she pulls me up against her chest. Just when she licks hers lips in anticipation, someone screams. “No! I’m not getting in the car with you, Ben. Stop it! You’re hurting me!”

Kennedy whips her head around so fast, her long hair stings my face. “Lyra!” When she sprints down the embankment in her heels, I know I have to follow. I’m a gentleman. Remember?

I’m ready to flip the fuck out when I see this big guy forcing a girl into the front seat of his car. She’s clawing at the windows and screaming Kennedy’s name over and over again. If I don’t hurry, he’ll be long gone. I run at full speed and grab the asshole by the collar before hauling him out of the car. Adrenaline is the only thing keeping me upright because this guy outweighs me by at least thirty pounds. And he’s ripped. I’m a dead man. Before he can react, I hit him in the jaw and he slumps to the ground. Quickly, I hit the unlock button on the driver’s side and race around the car. When I open the passenger door, a beautiful girl flings herself in my arms. “Oh, thank god. You just saved my life.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

June

Lyra

Now that Gage is gone, I feel like a piece of me is missing. After all, he was the only constant in my life. Maybe that’s my problem. I depended on him too much. I took him for granted. Believing he’d always be there for me when I needed him most. Could that be the reason I fell in love with Ryker so quickly? He was there for me when Gage wasn’t? Wow, I’m sure a therapist would have a field day with that one. Picking at my psyche like a hunk of cheese. One thing’s for sure, Gage has more confidence in me than I have in myself. I’m beginning to think he took the job just so I would learn to be strong and independent again. Like I was before the accident and Ryker. Knowing Gage, that’s exactly what he set out to do. Well, I won’t let him down then.

My new cataloguing job is about the only thing keeping me sane. I love working at Yale University’s library. I get to do something I love every day from nine to five. I’m surrounded by books, every bookaholic’s fantasy come true. And I was lucky enough to make a few new friends along the way. In fact, I’m having dinner tonight with Sophie at seven, so it ought to be fun. She reminds me a lot of Kennedy. No filter. It should prove to be a very interesting night.

That gives me plenty of time to shower and dress. I suppose I should let Cody out first. She jumps all over me if she doesn’t get to play with the gulls. So I give her a treat and she thanks me by putting her big wet paws on my shoulders and licking me to death. She’s such a big baby. God, I love her.

Of course, now that I want to let her out, she’s nowhere to be found. “Cody. Where’d you go?” As soon as I round the corner, she’s scratching and sniffing at the door. “You need to go out, don’t you girl?” I have to laugh the moment the doors open and she whizzes by me. Quickly I call out, “Cody, do not chase those birds!” When she runs in the opposite direction, I close the door and breathe a sigh of relief.

I chuckle when I turn around and see an overflowing heap of mail sitting on the kitchen table. That was one of Gage’s biggest pet peeves. He’s such a neat freak. I, on the other hand, have better things to do with my time. I’m almost tempted to take a pic and send it to him, but I don’t. Somehow, it feels too nostalgic and I’m not going there tonight. So I spend a few minutes going through it while waiting for Cody. I get so caught up in what I’m doing, I forget about the time. Shit! Now, I have to hurry if I’m going to meet Sophie at seven.

Twenty minutes later, I expected Cody to meet me by the door, anticipating her treats. But she’s not there. Great! Just because I’m running late, she’s lollygagging. “Cody! C’mon girl! I have to go.” I’ll admit, I start getting a little nervous when she’s a no-show. Usually, she comes when I first call her. “Cody! Where are you?” When there’s no sign of her the second time, I run a lap around the house. She’s sitting on the edge of the property just staring off into space. What the hell? I know she won’t go past the invisible fence, but didn’t she hear me calling her? Calmly, I kneel down beside her and start stroking her. The minute my hand touches her silky fur she begins to cry. “What’s the matter, girl?” She immediately gets up on all fours and tries to flee. Quickly, I grab her collar and hold her as tightly as I possibly can. “Cody! Come!” She whimpers when I won’t let her go, but she doesn’t fight me. I make sure to hold her close to my side as I guide her to the house. She could easily pull me anywhere she wants to go but she’s compliant. Once I get her safely inside, she begins scratching at the door. Clearly she wants to go back out. Why? I’ve never, ever, seen her behave like this before. It’s scaring me. I’m going to call Sophie and cancel our dinner. For whatever reason, my gut instinct’s telling me to stay home.

“Lyra, please don’t tell me you you’re canceling our dinner.”

“I’m sorry, Sophie. I am. Cody’s acting so weird that I don’t want to leave. She wouldn’t come inside when I called her and now she’s scratching to go back out. There’s something out there that she desperately wants.”

“Are you afraid to be alone? Because I can come over.”

“No, no. I really appreciate the thought, though. She must have seen an animal or something that spooked her. No worries. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Once I end the call, I reach inside the cabinet to get her treats. Maybe if I try distracting her, she’ll come away from the door. “Cody.” I shake the box for effect. “Come get your goodies.” I’m relieved when she reluctantly comes to take them from my hand. While she’s licking up every last crumb that fell on the floor, I make sure to lock the door and set the deadbolt. I’ve never been afraid to be alone in my house, but Cody’s antics have set me on edge.

When I turn around, she makes a big sigh before resting her head on her paws. Now that she’s quiet, I take the opportunity to sit down beside her. “What’s wrong, girl?” She creeps a little closer and gazes up at me with her sad golden eyes. Settling her head in my lap. Aww, she wants some loving. The second I bend down to give her kisses, my heart seizes in my chest. Why does she smell like Ryker’s cologne? Now my imagination is playing tricks on me. Although dogs do have a keen scent. Right? Could that be why she didn’t come to me when I first called her? She was with him? Oh, god. No! I have to stop thinking like that or I’ll drive myself insane. Ryker’s gone. He’s not lurking in the shadows trying to catch a glimpse of me. He made his choice abundantly clear when he wanted me to think he was dead.

Now that Cody’s finally calmed down, I decide to change into something more comfortable. As I get up from the couch, Cody follows. And I’m puzzled when I see her collar slip off of her neck and tumble to the floor. What the heck? I must’ve broken it when I was tugging on her to bring her inside. Crap! Now I’ll have to go out and buy her a new one. When I bend down to pick it up, my hand shakes. Something white is sticking out of the collar’s leather strap and I know for a fact it wasn’t there earlier.

My hands are shaking so badly that it takes me a minute to unravel the roll of paper. And when I do, my heart knocks wildly against my chest. I feel dizzy when I sit down at the table and smooth the note out in front of me. One quote stares back at me...

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” Aristotle

Ryker

I don’t know what possessed me to invade Lyra’s privacy like that. No! That’s a blatant lie. I do know. I found out Gage left for Toronto. That he chose his career instead of Lyra, and that infuriated me. So I had to see with my own two eyes that she’s fine. Nonetheless, it’s unacceptable. And it can never, happen again. Otherwise, I won’t be held accountable for what I do. I can still taste her on my tongue and feel her soft and yielding flesh beneath me. I want her so desperately. But I have to stay focused and remember why I did this to begin with. To keep her safe…

What I hadn’t anticipated was Cody being outside. I miss her like crazy. And it was great seeing her again but bittersweet when I had to leave her behind. I was so fortunate to have Cody back at the cabin. She literally saved me from my darkest hours. Without her, I would have given up. After all, we were each other’s only companions for years. I’m sure Cody would like to return to her master, but that can never happen. I take comfort in knowing she’s with Lyra. She’s exactly where she’s meant to be—keeping my precious safe. Dammit! I should have never left that note for her, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’m positive that she won’t remember the significance of it all. Still, I truly believe in my heart that our souls will always live as one.

Now I’m back where I belong. It’s not where I want to be by a long shot, but Sonia has been good to me. She’s kept my secrets safe and I know I can trust her with my life. Unfortunately, she’s still begging me to fuck her but after everything that’s happened, I can’t.

“You’re back sooner than I thought,” she whispers while caressing my shoulder. “You’re so tense, darling. Why don’t you let me make it better for you?”

Sonia just doesn’t understand. After being with Lyra, sex isn’t about the release any longer. It would feel wrong. Dirty. Almost like I’d be cheating on her. Which is so stupid, considering that she and Gage have been sexually active since they’ve been back together. Well, I assume they have. It’s not like I have cameras set up in their home. Hmm, now that’s a thought. Quickly, I push it down. Let it go, Ryker! For god’s sake, let her get on with her life like you wanted her to!

I take in a deep breath when Sonia’s hands unbutton my shirt and inch their way down my pecs. Quickly, I grab her wrist and stop her before she embarrasses herself. “What did I tell you, Sonia? I will not be having sex with you again. If you’re horny, go call one of your regulars.”

“We were so good together, darling. We were two bodies joined together in pure carnal need. It was sex, Ryker. Nothing more, nothing less. Admit it. You loved it when my wet mouth was deep-throating your thick cock. While I flicked your apa with my tongue.”

Forgive me. I’m a man. I can’t help it when my cock twitches at the mention of her plump lips wrapped around it. God, I need to get out of here before I grab her by the hair and ram my dick down her throat.

When I push out of the chair, her eyes immediately travel to my groin. A huge smile spreads across her face when she notices the bulge in my pants. “At least your cock still remembers the feel of my lips wrapped around it. Too bad the wrong head is making your decisions for you.”

“Of course I remember how good it was between us, Sonia. I’m only human. But I don’t think it would be wise to mix business with pleasure. I’m no longer one of your clients, I’m living here. Thanks to you, I might add. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me but I can’t in all good conscious be with you like that again.”

I try to suppress a smile when she clicks her tongue in disappointment. “Such a shame. Considering you’re the only man who has ever gotten me off so many times in one night. Pity, really. You know how to please a woman, yet you’re going to use your hand for release. Ugh, I need to leave before I say something I’ll regret later.”

I grab her hand as she tries to hurry by. Her eyes are sad when they meet mine. “You could betray me in a heartbeat, Sonia. Yet, you haven’t after all these years. Why?”

She squeezes my hand briefly before replying. “I, too, know what it’s like to lose someone you love. Certainly, not in such a devastating way as you have. Regardless, a loss of any kind is painful and I know without a doubt that you’ve paid the ultimate price. You’ve suffered enough, Ryker. You have my word that even if you withhold sex from me, your secrets are safe.”

She surprises me when her ruby-red lips suddenly land on mine. They’re so soft and sensual, it’s intoxicating. And so fucking arousing that I need to stop. When I break off the kiss, her chest heaves. And the second her heated gaze locks on mine, she blushes.

“You’re a very beautiful woman, Sonia. Any man would be a fool not to want you. Present company included. But after finding... ”

Quickly, she presses her fingertips to my lips. “Shh, don’t ruin the moment, Ryker. I needed to taste you just this once. I promise it’ll never happen again.” When her thumb lingers to wipe away a trace of lipstick from my bottom lip, my cock thickens. Fuck! I want her. I want Sonia every which way to Sunday. But it’s wrong, so fucking wrong.

Something she told me so long ago suddenly flits across my mind. “Men treat me like their dirty little whore and then go home to their wives. But just once, I wish a true gentleman would come along. You know, someone who would at least have the decency to kiss the palm of my hand before insisting I jerk him off.”

I gently grab her hand, turn it over, and place a tender kiss to her palm. She gasps when my eyes land on hers. “You were never my whore, Sonia. You were my distraction. My salvation. In fact, you still are.”

Sonia nods solemnly when she realizes the weight of what I’ve just said. Then she captures the kiss by closing her hand and placing it against her racing heart. Her eyes suddenly fill with unshed tears before a whispered “thank you” escapes her parted lips. When I reach out to comfort her, she stifles a sob and races out the door.

Fuck! I didn’t mean to make her cry. I just wanted her to know that her friendship means more to me than a quick fuck. It’s obvious she has feelings for me. And as much as I hate to admit it, I have them for her as well. So, if I plan on keeping our relationship platonic from here on out, I should leave. Obviously, she’s a temptation that I can’t afford. My mind’s made up. I’m leaving tomorrow. It’s time for Ryker Steel to return from the dead...

Chapter Twenty-Four

Lyra

Nearly a month has passed by since I found that note inside of Cody’s collar. Turns out it wasn’t broken after all. It had just slipped off. Almost as if someone was in a hurry to put it back on and failed. I’d like to think Ryker left it there for me to find, but I don’t know if it had been there all along. Did he even remember confiding in me about the notes? Probably not. I was just a pawn in his perverted game and unfortunately I fell for it. Now, I just have to stop obsessing about it and move on. It’s as simple as that.

What isn’t going to be simple is going to Gage’s parents’ house for the Fourth of July. They’ve invited me but I haven’t responded yet. I’m sure if I don’t go, they’ll think it’s because I miss Gage. But they have no idea we haven’t spoken since he’s left. I’m not sure if I can pretend like everything’s fine, when clearly it’s not. Believe me, I’ve done it so many times in the past that it’s getting monotonous. And I’d like to think that I’ve learned my lesson by now. It’s easier to tell the truth than face the repercussions somewhere down the road. I’m not so sure Gage would agree, but since we haven’t spoken, there’s no way to tell.

Ugh, I’m so sick and tired of feeling like this. No one has been able to pull me out of this funk and believe me, they’ve tried. Unsuccessfully, I might add. This has been one hell of a year and I can’t wait for it to be over. Only six more months to go. Hopefully, 2016 will be much better.

Sometimes, I feel guilty sitting out here on the beach without Gage. After all, it’s his house, not mine. If he were here, he’d tell me it’s a technicality. “It’s just as much mine as it is yours, babe,” he’d say. I know he planned on giving it to me as a wedding present, but now that will never happen. It just makes me feel terribly sad knowing that I’m the one who messed this all up.

The beach house was Gage’s first project after he became an architect. He drew up the specs and his father’s company built it. They’ve worked together ever since. God, his dad must miss him something fierce. They’re Westport’s finest father and son team.

I’ve been sunbathing on the beach for a few hours when Cody begins barking. By the sounds of it, she must have to go out pretty badly. Quickly, I pack up and head back to the house. Normally, I’d have brought her with me but after the last fiasco, I decided to leave her inside. Especially since Gage is no longer here to help me give her a shower. “I’m coming, Cody. Hell’s bells! Give me a sec.” The second the door is open, she’s gone. Here we go again. “Do not chase the birds!” Normally, I’d let her out the front door. It’s less of a temptation for her, but I guess she desperately needs to go out.

I decide to take a quick shower while she’s outside. With all the sand, sweat, and lotion, I’m a sticky mess. After peeling off my suit, I step inside to adjust the temp. I find it amazing that something as simple as showering can lift one’s spirits. I suppose it doesn’t hurt that I’m using my favorite body wash and shampoo. Once I’ve finished, I dry off with a fluffy towel and throw on my boy shorts and tank. Now I’m ready to let Cody back inside.

“Cody, come,” I call out the back door. I wait a minute or two before going to the front of the house. She’s sitting right by the mailbox. What a good girl. “Come get your treats, Cody.” No response. She doesn’t even bother glancing back at me. Butterflies begin fluttering in my stomach as I watch her stare off into the distance. Not again. No, no, no. I can’t keep doing this! “Cody, come!” When she still doesn’t respond, I go after her. “Cody, now!” I command as I grab her by the collar. She whines but doesn’t budge. Oh, for the love of God!

Then I see it. Something poking out of the mailbox. A package? With a shuddering breath and trembling hands I reach for it. It’s so small. And when I take a peek at the address, my pulse quickens. There is none. Just my name: “Lyra Harper,” written across the tiny box. Which means someone had to have dropped it off.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…

Ryker—Fucking—Steel!

“Cody, come!” This time she doesn’t hesitate. For whatever reason, she follows close behind as I step inside on wobbly legs. I need to sit before I fall flat on my face.

I place the tiny box on the coffee table before sitting on the couch. Then I lean back and just stare at it. Why? I have no clue. All I do know is that I’m afraid to open it. Is it from Ryker? Gage? Who the hell is doing this to me? Cody must sense my trepidation, because she jumps on the couch and gives me kisses. And all I can smell is his cologne. Again! Now I’m livid. I never thought in a million years that Ryker Steel was a coward. And I’m going to tell him exactly how I feel.

Pushing off the couch, I storm across the room and yank open the front door. All that’s out there are the trees swaying in the wind. Laughing at me. I don’t care! I will get this off of my chest if it kills me. I march with a purpose across the yard and calmly stand by the mailbox. If anyone were to see me, they’d never know the turmoil raging inside of me. With the exception of my fists tightly clenched by my sides. My only neighbors live in Florida and won’t return until the Fourth, so I am truly alone. Me and Cody that is. And I know she would protect me to the death. So here goes…

“I never thought you were a coward, Ryker! Or whatever the hell you’re calling yourself these days! Come out, come out, wherever you are!” I wait a minute to catch my breath before goading him once again. “This time YOU have two choices! You can either leave me the fuck alone or you can face me like a man!” I wait and wait and wait. Until I’m not angry anymore. I’m hurt. Why is he playing this game? “Go to hell, Ryker! And don’t bother wasting my time ever again!” I scream before stomping back inside.

Unfortunately, that didn’t make me feel better. It was all for naught, because that damn box is still beckoning me. How can something so small hold so much power?

I hadn’t realized I was crying until I bury my face against Cody’s silky coat. I miss him. So, so much. That bastard! She smells just like him and I’m angry that she gets to see him and I don’t. Why? I snatch up the damn box so fast, I don’t even acknowledge I’m holding it. Until I’ve torn it to shreds. Now, a delicate little snow globe sits in the palm of my hand, while a tiny ballerina twirls in its center. Why does it look so familiar? Because it looks exactly like the one Ryker had at the cabin. The world slows while I watch the snow globe slip from my fingertips. As the darkness pulls me under…

Ryker

Without my knowledge, Cole was able to track me down through The Pleasure Palace. Leaving Sonia turned out to be a whole lot easier after I received the call. He informed me that the time had come to confront the monster responsible for Bella’s death. So, after three-and-a-half agonizing years, I will finally come face-to-face with my wife’s murderer. I just hope for his sake he’s in a holding cell, because if he’s not, he’s a dead man. Consequences, be damned!

Since this will be my first public appearance as Ryker Steel, Cole sent a government-issued SUV to pick me up. Personally, I think this vehicle sticks out like a sore thumb, but Cole insisted on it for my protection. Apparently, he thinks my life is still in danger. Not my problem! I’m here to make sure Bella’s killer gets what he deserves.

Once we come to a complete stop, my driver, Robert, lowers the partition. “Mr. Steel, Cole wants you to sit tight until security can escort you inside.”

The windows are heavily tinted, but I can clearly see who’s gathered out there. Fuck! Somehow, the media must have caught wind about me being here today. It’s bad enough that I’m on edge, now I have to face the reporters to boot. When my door opens, I’m immediately flanked by two men. How ironic. It’s the two goons that pulled me off of Cole at the cabin. Now they’re here to protect me. Obviously, they have no idea Jonathan Day and I are one and the same.

“Mr. Steel! Mr. Steel! Why did you suddenly disappear shortly after your wife’s funeral?” I have to clench my fists tightly by my sides, as microphones and cameras are chaotically shoved into my face. Dammit! No one was supposed to know about this meeting today.

“Mr. Steel! What made you decide to come back after all these years?” Quickly, I pick up my pace, as my bodyguards block the throng of people trying to crush me. I’m no longer accustomed to this kind of crowd. I can feel the panic constricting my chest.

“Ryker! Is it true they found the driver who killed your wife?” Fuck! I know that voice.

I will not turn around. I will not turn around. I. Will. Not. Turn. Around...

By the time I’ve reached the top step, I can feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. So when Cole shakes my hand, I’ve no doubt he can feel the beating of my heart through my fingertips. Promptly, he opens the door and ushers me inside. Then he turns around to address the media. “You will all be notified when and if Mr. Steel decides to hold a press conference. He has no comment at this time.”

The moment Cole steps through the door, I react. “What the fuck! How the hell did the media find out I was going to be here today, Cole? And who else knows about the hit-and-run driver besides the four of us?”

Immediately, his hand lands on my shoulder and he squeezes. A silent signal for me to shut the fuck up. Okay, so maybe he doesn’t trust his two bodyguards either. “I’ll answer all of your questions when we get inside the conference room, Ryker.”

I’m livid, but I think I’m doing a fine job of reeling it in. A few deep cleansing breaths and I follow Cole into the conference room at DEA Headquarters. Yeah, this used to be my old haunt before I fell off the grid. I have no fucking clue if they’ll take me back, but I’m not going to worry about it right now. I have something much more important to focus on and I’m not leaving without some answers.

Cole shuts the door, leaving his bodyguards on the outside. Then he pulls out a chair for me to sit down. I know he has an ulterior motive for getting me here, but I don’t care. I’ll tell him anything he wants to hear as long as I get to witness my wife’s killer squirming.

“Before I let you loose inside of the interrogation room, you need to tell me why you pulled that stunt back at the cabin. What the fuck were you thinking, Ryker? You could have gotten yourself killed!”

“If I hadn’t staged my own death, I’d be in prison for holding Lyra captive. You know her parents would have locked me up and thrown away the only key. Besides, we were being recorded twenty-four seven. I didn’t want anyone having access to those cameras once I’d let her go. So I blew it up. For fuck’s sake, Cole. I was an EOD specialist for the Marine Corps. I knew what I was doing.”

“We weren’t even gone for five minutes. How the hell did you get out of there so fast?”

The last thing I want to do is play twenty questions, but I know after everything he’s done for me, I owe him. “There was an escape hatch built underneath the desk in my office. It took me four minutes to reach my destination and then I used the remote to detonate the cabin.” I won’t tell him how I witnessed Lyra fall apart before my very eyes. And what affect it had on me when he was the one who comforted her. I will take that memory to my grave. “How’s she doing, Cole?” It’s safer for him to think I haven’t a clue. When in reality, I’ve been there more times than I care to count. The last time I almost got caught. It was the morning I dropped off the ballerina. I’ll have to be more careful from here on out.

When he combs his fingers through his hair, I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Until I see the tiny smirk on his face. “She’s fine, Ryker. Well, as fine as she can be without you. You might be as angry as a hornet when I tell you, but I don’t have her. Cody lives with Lyra and her boyfriend in Connecticut.”

I knew that but I simply nod in acknowledgement. Making sure to grind my teeth in annoyance.

Cole quickly covers the silence by chastising me. “You know I had a bitch of a time trying to find you since you removed your tracking device. Who did you con into removing it?”

I shudder just a tad when thinking about it. “I did it myself, of course.”

“Are you kidding me? You cut it out of your own fucking arm? God, Ryker. You’re a crazy son-of-a-bitch.” I can’t help chuckling when I watch his face turn pale. Yeah, it hurt like a mother, but there’s no way I could have had it professionally removed. Too many questions. And besides, Sonia took really good care of me.

“Look, Cole, we can sit here for hours and play catch up. But I’ve been waiting for what seems like a lifetime to be eye-to-eye with Bella’s murderer.” I can’t sit here and shoot the shit any longer. We’re wasting precious time. I need to confront the man who stole the very air I breathe. Now! The moment I stand, Cole follows my lead.

“Of course. Let’s get going, then.”

As I make my way down the lengthy hallway, I can feel my body tighten. My hands clenching. Itching for some kind of release. And there’s no doubt in my mind, when I leave this building today, I will not be the same man I was when I arrived...

Chapter Twenty-Five

July

Lyra

I’ve come to the conclusion that I am certifiably insane. Why else would I be having flashbacks of a life that isn’t mine? Pirouetting ballerinas in pink tutus. Piercing blue eyes gazing into mine. Personal love notes shared between lovers. No names. No faces. Just a silent movie playing across my eyelids every time I try going to sleep at night. No matter how hard I try, I can’t piece it all together. It’s just a bunch of nonsense taking up space in my mind. I understand why I’d be dwelling on the ballerina. I’m almost positive it’s the same one Ryker held in the palm of his hand at the cabin. How it could have survived the explosion is beyond me. Unless it’s a duplicate. So if I’m supposedly hallucinating about my time at the cabin, then where do the blue eyes come into play? Ryker’s were as black as night. Devil’s eyes. No one I know has blue eyes. So who could it be? And I suppose the quotes could be because of the note I originally found inside of Cody’s collar. But there’s no explanation as to why I can just rattle off quotes that I’ve never heard of before. Or have I? Oh hell, I must be nuts.

I want nothing more than to forget about these bizarre visions. Even if it’s for a short time. So, since today is the Fourth of July, I decide to go to Gage’s parents’ house. I know, I know. It might be a bit awkward but at least it gets me out of this godforsaken house. I’m tired of looking at the four walls and wondering what the hell I’m going to see next. Besides, I’m sure his sister Gabby will be there. I can’t even remember the last time we’ve talked. So we’ll have a lot of catching up to do.

When I slide into the driver’s seat with my renowned taco dip in one hand and a bag of tortilla chips in the other, I can’t help but notice that my hands are trembling. I shouldn’t be nervous. The Mitchells have been nothing but welcoming in the years that I’ve known them. So I should be calm and collected, right? Well, I’m not. Since this will be the first time I’ve seen them since my infidelity. I know they won’t judge me because of it, but I hurt their son. And I have no idea how many details Gage has shared with his mom and dad. All I can do is cross my fingers and hope for the best.

The Mitchells live in a cul-de-sac, so once you’ve driven down their road, there’s no escaping. Cars of every make and size are parked haphazardly around the yard. So I park behind a black SUV just in case I have to make a fast getaway.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi…

“Lyra! Oh my God, you came!” I barely have time to get out of the car when Gabby wraps her arms around me. Her embrace is so constricting, I can’t catch my breath. “I’m so glad you could make it,” she whispers.

“Me too.” And I am, until she pulls away and scrutinizes me. Head to toe. Instantly, my cheeks flush and my palms grow damp. Until I can’t stand it any longer. “What, Gabby?”

“Sorry, Lyra. But Gage said you weren’t coming because you weren’t well, so I conjured all kinds of crazy things in my head.” And with that, she pulls me in for another fierce hug.

“I’m fine, Gabby. Really.” Wait a second. Is he here? “Gabby. When did you last talk to Gage?”

“I picked him up at the airport last night, silly. Are you sure you’re okay?”

This can’t be happening! He never told me he was coming home for the party. I feel like such a damn fool. This is his home and I have no business being here. I shiver the moment Gabby’s hands slide up my arms. And when her eyes meet mine, their filled with compassion. “What’s going on between the two of you?”

Before I can answer, I hear his voice. “Gabby. Why don’t you bring the chips and dip to the party and leave Lyra to me.” His voice, so calm and collected, causes me to tremble. And when I feel the heat from his body gently against my back, I wish it were last year. Before I’d met Ryker Steel.

“Lyra, do you want me to stay?” I love the thought of Gabby acting as our referee, but it’s not necessary. “No. Go enjoy the party. We’ll meet you there in a few.” Gabby gives her brother a dirty glance before grabbing the food and strutting off.

I need to leave. Now! When I try getting back in my car, one strong arm picks me up and pulls me in. Now I’m engulfed by his scent and enveloped in his arms. I can feel tears threatening to fall but I need to reign them in. I don’t want to get into this with his family around.

“Mom said you hadn’t responded to her invitation. God, Lyra. I would have told you I was coming if I had known. I miss you so much, babe.”

That’s all it takes for the tears to fall. “Shh. Don’t cry, Lyra. C’mon. Let’s go for a drive so we can be alone.” Gage quickly fastens my belt and wipes away my tears. Before leaning in and placing a tender kiss on my lips. Stealing the very air I breathe. I’m nervous once he backs out of the drive and heads down the road. This is ridiculous. I shouldn’t feel anxious with a man I’ve known for so long. Especially Gage. When he reaches over and threads his fingers through mine, I let him. And my heart aches when he gently rubs my thumb with his. It’s so familiar and comforting that for a few minutes I forget why we’re taking this drive, until he pulls into our driveway. Ours. But for how long?

“Let’s take a walk along the beach, Lyra. You know if we go inside Cody will distract us, and we need to talk.”

My knees feel weak as we walk hand-in-hand along the shore. When I stop for a minute to slip off my sandals, Gage isn’t willing to let go of my hand. That’s a good sign, right? God, I hope so. He steadies me with his other hand so I can grab my sandals before standing. And when his eyes meet mine, they’re filled with desire. His mouth comes crashing down on mine as he devours my words before I even have a chance to speak. Warm, wet, and hungry. My shoes slip through my fingers as Gage brushes his hands through my hair. Making me wet and wanting. “Fuck, I missed you so damn much,” he whispers against my lips.

“I need you, Gage. Crazy things have been happening that I can’t explain and I’m afraid I’m losing my mind. Please, don’t leave…”

I lose all train of thought when his phone rings. Clearly, he’s agitated by the interruption as he yanks it out of his pocket. “Yeah. What do you want? I’m a little busy right now.” I watch as he pinches the bridge of his nose, listening to whoever is on the other end. I jump when he screams, “Fuck you!” before winding up and hurling his phone into the water with a resounding splash….

Ryker

One week ago…

I wish I could say I’m relieved now that I know who is responsible for my wife’s death, but I’m not. I’d suspected him, but I never had any solid proof. Until today. I lost the very air I breathed and the love of my life. Carlos Rodriguez was the one who ordered the hit. On Lyra. And Bella just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now I will spend the rest of my life seeking justice. Once I’m finished with Carlos and Joe the ‘hitman’ Stone, they will never see the light of day. Ever again.

Unfortunately, Cole wouldn’t let me anywhere near them. Smart man, because I would have killed them with my bare hands. Trial be damned! They were being interrogated behind a one-way glass, while I stood there and watched. It was the most difficult five hours of my life. Once it was finally over and we were rehashing everything in Cole’s office, he handed me a glass. “Here. Drink this, Ryker. It looks like you could use a little something to dull the pain.”

I wanted to tell him that nothing would dull the pain, but I knew he was just trying to help. “Thanks, Cole.” I had quickly grabbed the glass and tipped it back. Allowing the burn to make me feel. Something Bella would never be able to do again. “Hit me again.” I remember smiling when I watched him pour me about three fingers’ worth. I knew at that rate, it wouldn’t take me long to get shit-faced.

I sat back, resting my foot on the opposite knee. As Cole hesitantly handed me the glass. Calmly, I rolled it back and forth in the palm of my hands, warming the brown liquid. But I was far from calm. There was a storm brewing deep inside of me that was ready to explode. So I tipped the glass to my lips and downed it in one long swallow. Fuck! It felt like a thousand daggers disemboweling me. Once it had finally settled in the pit of my stomach, I had found my voice. “Are you trying to kill me, Cole?”

“Not at all. I just thought after the news you heard today, you could use something a bit stronger.”

“Yeah, well. There’s nothing on this Earth that would be strong enough to make me forget. Bella’s dead. And nothing will ever bring her back to me.”

His jaw ticked when his gaze met mine. “We might not be able to change the outcome, but at least we know who ordered the hit. We’ll make sure the both of them spend the rest of their lives in prison. C’mon, you’ve waited almost four years for closure and it’s now within your grasp. All those months you spent alone at the cabin weren’t in vain. You knew it was Rodriguez all along. We just didn’t believe you and I’ll be the first to apologize. I never thought in a….”

“Stop! Don’t you dare!” Rage filled me with a vengeance. Cole just didn’t get it and he never would. I hated that I’d never be able to tell my best friend the truth.

I remember the weight of the glass being too heavy in my hand. So I had stood up with every intention of putting it on his desk. But I reeled around and threw it as hard as I could against the back wall. And watched as it shattered into a million pieces. Just like my fucking heart!

“Feeling better now?” he had asked. First, you have to understand that Cole is a cocky bastard. Only he would have had the balls to ask at a time like that. If it had been any other guy, they’d be peeling themselves up off the floor. Several times.

“Actually, no.” I had replied. “I need to get the fuck out of here. Could you have Robert drive me back to the hotel?”

Cole wouldn’t hear of it. He insisted on driving me back himself. On one stipulation. We had to take the two goons with us because the press was still lurking about. Yeah, I wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t in any condition to argue. Luckily, everything went without a hitch. And Cole assured me he’d do everything within his power to lock them up for good.

That happened over a week ago and it’s all I can think about. I was hoping once my suspicions were confirmed, I could move on. But I can’t. So I did the one thing I promised myself I would never do. I moved next door to Lyra. Somehow, I was able to convince the Murphys that they’d won a timeshare to Alaska. Who knew they’d always wanted to go? Which worked out great for me. They came home while Lyra was at work, packed what they needed for their trip, and went on their merry way. And now I’m housesitting for them. It’s a win-win. They get what they want and so do I. My prize is so much greater than theirs.

I currently spend all of my free time spying on my next door neighbor. Today, I’m not liking what I see one damn bit as I stare out the kitchen window. Gage and Lyra are walking hand-in-hand along the shore. Fortunately, they don’t look like the happy couple that left over an hour ago. Hmm, I wonder if it had anything to do with his phone call. By the scowl on his face I’d say it did. Whoever it was is cooling off on the bottom of the sea right about now. Just thinking about it puts a smile on my face. I’m such a bastard.

This is one of the reasons why I decided to ‘rent’ the house from the Murphys. So I could keep an eye on her. But I need to be extra careful. I wouldn’t want Cody discovering her new neighbor. Me. The other reason being that I want her back. Fuck! Gage was supposed to be gone for six months. That was the deal. Now, I have to concentrate on getting lover boy back to Toronto. If Lyra only knew I was the one responsible for Gage’s new position, she’d never forgive me. So, here’s to hoping she never finds out…

Chapter Twenty-Six

Lyra

I desperately wanted to talk to Gage while he was down for the Fourth. Unfortunately, phone call after phone call kept him distracted the entire time. Something is definitely going on. I asked him where he got his new phone after he’d flung his original in the water, and he assured me he’d ordered a new one while I was in the bathroom. I didn’t want to call him out on it. After all, I hadn’t seen him in months and I wanted to spend some time with him. Sadly, it all ended too soon when Mr. Mitchell kindly dropped off my car. Gage insisted on giving him a ride home. He wanted me to go back to the party too, but I feigned a wicked headache and declined. I knew I should have never gone there to begin with. So much for trying to fit in. Saying goodbye seems to get easier and easier as time passes by.

I tried calling my mom earlier today, but it went directly to voicemail. Again. I had thought about going home for a visit, but why bother? They’re always so busy working or attending charity events that I’d either have to tag along or stay home alone. Yeah, I can do that in the comfort of my own home, thank you very much. So I spend all of my free time curled up on the couch having a love affair with my Kindle. It never lets me down and within seconds I have a new ‘book boyfriend’ to go to bed with every night. Isn’t that every woman’s fantasy? Unfortunately, it doesn’t compare to a warm body tangled with mine, but it will have to do for now.

Wouldn’t you know, my mom’s ringtone would go off right in the middle of a sex scene? The heroine is wet and willing and ready for nine inches of hard steel. Oh, steel. How can I forget about him when everything reminds me of him? “Hi, Mom. What’s up?”

“Sorry, Lyra. It seems like we’re two ships passing in the night. Is everything all right? You sound breathless.”

If she only knew the half of it. “No, I’m good. I just had to jump up to get my phone.”

“Dad and I were thinking of visiting you and Gage sometime in August. Somewhere between the twelfth and the thirtieth. Pick whatever time works best for the two of you.”

Oh damn. They have no idea Gage is in Toronto because I didn’t tell them. Ugh, this is why I avoid phones, planes, and visits. Too many questions I’m not ready to answer. But I really need to talk to someone about my mental state. Now that I’m living alone, I’m worried. “Mom, I’ll have to get back to you about the dates. Gage is crazy busy and I’m not sure when he’ll be available. But there is something I need to talk to you about.”

“Anything, sweetie. What is it?”

“You remember those hallucinations I had all those years ago? Well, they started happening a lot lately and I still can’t explain any of them. They seem so real and it’s kind of scary.” She’s going to think I’m certifiably insane. Once again.

“Are they the same ones as before, Lyra?” Great! Mom sounds like she’s ready to hop on the next plane.

“I’m not quite sure. That’s why I wanted to run it by you. They’re about ballerinas, pink tutus, blue eyes and all sorts of weird things. Does that sound familiar to you? Hold that thought, Mom. Cody’s whining to go out and I can’t hear a word you’re saying.” Cody started prancing by the door the second the phone rang. If I wait any longer, I’ll have to clean up her mess. “Okay, Mom. She’s outside now.” I don’t want to tell her about the note I found inside of Cody’s collar or the ballerina that was left inside my mailbox. If I do, she’ll say that’s the reason for all of this angst. I want to see if it’s similar to what happened to me in the past.

“Lyra, I want you to call Dr. Banks immediately. She’ll fit you in as soon as possible and I can be there in a few hours since I’m in Hartford on an assignment. Okay?”

Oh God, here we go again. I don’t want her picking apart my brain again. I’m better off without her. “I’m fine, Mom. I just wanted you to know. That’s all. Nothing’s wrong. I…”

“Lyra. I need you to listen to me very carefully. You’ve been through a traumatic experience and you never took it seriously enough. I should have insisted you go see a therapist after you were held captive in that cabin. Please promise me you’ll call, or I’ll make an appointment for you.”

I’ll never learn to shut my mouth. Dammit! Now she’s coming and I need to see a damn therapist. I need to put a stop to this. “Forget I said anything, Mom. It’s just a bunch of jumbled thoughts. Nothing to worry about. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can about you and Dad coming in August. Love you, Mom. Bye.”

I feel horrible when I end the call while she’s still talking. God, what have I done? I’ve opened up a can of worms and I know she won’t let it rest. My hands begin to tremble and my knees feel weak as I push off the couch. I need to let Cody in before I faint. When my phone rings, I panic. I know she’s trying to call me back and I can’t do this right now. I need to breathe, take one step at a time. You can do this, Lyra.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four….

When I finally reach the door and pull it open, Cody’s nowhere to be found. No, not today. Please, please, please come when I call. “Cody, come.” My voice is weak and my limbs feel numb. There’s something definitely wrong with me. I’m standing in the middle of my yard when I hear her barking. Great! She’s down by the water, I’m never going to make it. When I turn around and spot a car parked in the Murphys’ driveway, hope blooms inside of me. Oh, thank god they’re home. I know they’ll help me.

Slowly, I put one foot in front of the other. And once I reach the railing, I hold on for dear life. Steadying myself. I stop to take a few deep breaths before continuing. Once I get my bearings, I climb onto the porch. I’m almost there. The sudden dizziness sends my mind through a kaleidoscope of colors... pinks, blues, blacks and reds. I guess where the doorbell is and press. Once. Twice. And continue until the door suddenly opens. Thank God! I’m confused when powerful arms suddenly wrap around me and hold me close. I might be sick, but I know for a fact that Mr. Murphy wouldn’t be strong enough to carry me. And he sure doesn’t smell this yummy. It’s a blend of citrus, spice and something very masculine. Wood. Yeah, a subtle woodsy scent. When I’m finally able to focus, a sense of peace washes over me. Soothes me. Because the eyes I am looking into are the same blue eyes I’ve been dreaming about. My hand trembles when I reach out to feel his cheek. I need to touch him to see if he’s real. His five o’clock shadow is rough against my fingertips. Prickly but soft. I know him. I know I do. His name’s just on the tip of my tongue, but no matter how hard I try I can’t think of it. Dammit! When he sits down on the couch with me tucked in his lap, Cody tries to wiggles her way in between us.

“Cody. Sit!”

Oh. My. God.

I know that deep, commanding voice and feel the isolation that those eyes have put me in so many times in the past. His scent, so familiar, surrounds me in a warm embrace. Slowly, the fog begins to lift and I can see clearly for the first time. In a long time. “Ry. Is it really you?” I ask.

Ryker

I desperately want to believe she truly knows who I am but I’m afraid to use her name. What if I’m wrong? I wouldn’t want to be the one to push her over the edge in her fragile state. I knew the second I opened the door that something was wrong. She looked lost. I can’t begin to imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t been here. Right now, I just want to hold her in my arms and pray she comes back to me. For now I’ll play it safe. “It’s me, precious. How are you feeling?”

“Confused.” I can feel her trembling as she nuzzles my neck. So I hold her close and hope she finds her strength in me. ‘Cause I sure as hell don’t feel too strong at the moment.

“How so, precious?”

“When we were at the cabin, your eyes were black but now they’re blue. So why do they look so familiar to me?”

Fuck! How much do I divulge? “I wore contacts so no one would recognize me. Subconsciously, you must have known and assumed I had blue eyes.” God, that sounded so fucking lame. Even to me.

“I mourned you, Ryker. For so long. I thought you had died in that explosion and I blamed myself. Why would you let me go on believing you were dead?”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t prepare you. But it was the only way I could think of to keep you safe.”

She sighs and in one concise move she’s straddling me. Her small hands frame my face while she scrutinizes me. I’m on full display when her gaze rakes over my lips, my hair, and my face before her eyes land back on mine. Drinking me all in. Lyra leans in and brushes her lips softly against mine, causing my heart to crash inside of me. I’ve waited so long for this. I’m never letting her go. Ever again. “What you didn’t understand was how safe I felt when I was with you, Ryker. God, you’re so beautiful. This is exactly how I imagined you without all of that hair. So handsome. I missed you so much, Ry.”

God, that nickname. The same one that brings me to my knees. The one I asked her never to call me. Could it be? No. She remembers the cabin for fuck’s sake! I’m the one going out of my mind. Not her. “I missed you, precious. More than you’ll ever know.” I can’t wait a minute longer. I need to taste her. Own her. And make her mine once and for all. Forever.

My hands tangle in her hair as our mouths collide in a heated frenzy. We’re both insatiable for one another. Exploring and reacquainting our tongues in perfect harmony. She tastes like lemons and mint and I’m getting drunk on her. Little whimpers and moans cling to my lips as I devour every lascivious mewl she surrenders to me. My dick is throbbing for release but I won’t give in to temptation. Not yet. Just when I think I’m about to die in her sweet embrace, Cody begins barking and scratching at the front door. We quickly break apart with our chests heaving as we come up for air. “What’s wrong with her, Ryker?” When I glance over and see her hackles standing straight up, I assume someone is about to interrupt our little reunion.

“Damned if I know, but I’m going to find out.” Lyra slides off of my lap so I can go see what all the fuss is about. And the moment I open the door Cody leaps in the air, greeting the person who’s coming down the walk. “Cody. Stop!” The last thing I want is for her to hurt the woman who’s glaring at me. Mrs. Harper. Well, I suppose there’s no time like the present to get this whole charade over and done with.

“Mr. Steel. Where’s my daughter?” I don’t have time to answer as Lyra brushes by me.

“Mom, you shouldn’t have come. I’m fine, really. Mr. Steel was kind enough to help me when I couldn’t find Cody.” Oh, my girl is spinning a wicked web and I’m loving it.

“Well, that’s very nice of him but I’m here now. Why don’t you make me a cup of coffee and we’ll talk about our phone call. Go ahead, sweetie. I’d like to thank Mr. Steel for taking care of you today.” My girl is hesitant to leave but I don’t want her to witness my wrath.

“I promise she won’t be long, Lyra. Then the two of you can enjoy your visit.” With her mother’s back turned, she blows me a kiss and saunters off to her house with Cody tagging close behind. Whew, I didn’t know if Cody would follow her or insist on coming inside with me. Good girl. Now it’s time to get down to business.

As soon as I close the door behind me, I grab Mrs. Harper by the throat and pin her up against the wall. Her eyes go wide as she claws to free my hand. I expertly grab her wrists with my other and hold them still. “I promised myself a long time ago that if I ever found the person who was responsible for Bella’s death, I’d kill them with my bare hands. So are you prepared to die today, Mrs. Harper?” She tries to speak but I squeeze just a little bit tighter. I know how long I can keep this up without leaving a mark. I learned from the best. She stumbles when I just about drag her to the couch and force her to sit. Reluctantly, it’s time for me to let go of her throat so she can breathe.

I compel myself to sit on the coffee table directly across from her and wait while she composes herself. I think I’m being quite gentlemanly considering the circumstances. But I can be patient for just so long. “I asked you a question, Mrs. Harper. The least you can do is answer me.”

She slinks deeper into the couch, rubs her throat and glares at me. Like I’m the one who’s done something wrong. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mr. Steel. I had nothing to do with your wife’s death. In fact, I was devastated when I realized it happened after our interview. So if you blame me because I was the last one to see her alive, then you need to reconsider.”

Well, I guess it’s true what they say. Nice guys finish last. I’m not playing a fucking game and she’s going to find that out. Now! “Tell me how you pulled it off, Vega, or I will kill you with my bare hands!” I’m in her face and it ain’t pretty. She’s kicking, biting and scratching to break free and I don’t care! I lost three fucking years with the woman I love because of this bitch. And I’ll be damned if I lose another second.

“I swear, Ryker, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t kill Bella.”

“Let me paint you a picture, Vega. I am Ryker Steel aka Jonathan Day. And the woman who shared my bed at the cabin was not Lyra Harper but Bella Steel. Don’t shake your head, Vega. It’s the truth. I know my wife, inside and out. Would you like to know why I’m one-hundred percent positive? No? Well, I’m going to tell you anyway. Bella has a birthmark shaped like a tiny heart in one of her most intimate places. So imagine my surprise when I found out my wife was still ALIVE!”

Part Three

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Ryker

“That’s preposterous. Jonathan Day died in an explosion after Lyra was rescued.”

“Believe me when I tell you we are one and the same, Mrs. Harper. Jonathan Day was my alias after I went into hiding. I’d never planned on being Ryker Steel. Ever again. And then lo and behold, my wife suddenly appears at my cabin. Claiming to be Lyra Rose Harper. I want answers. Now! Tell me why my wife doesn’t know I exist.”

The moment the truth hits her, I can see a veil of grief pass before her very eyes. If Bella’s alive, then it’s possible her daughter Lyra is the one who died all those years ago. That’s the same conclusion I came to back at the cabin. I’ve even contemplated whether it could have been intentional. I’m still working on that theory because I don’t have any solid proof yet. The woman I buried was not my wife but obviously someone who looked exactly like her. Now I know it was Lyra. But I’ve yet to figure out the connection between the two or why Bella took on her identity. I’m hoping today’s the day I can find out why the love of my life doesn’t remember I exist.

“Don’t you dare lie to me, Vega! And don’t use your journalistic skills to spin a tale. I want the fucking truth!”

I know this woman is a shark and won’t relent until she has all the facts. It’s in her blood to find out the truth. So perhaps that’s why I think she knew all along about Bella and Lyra. Today, I’ll be challenging her to see if what I believed is fact or fiction.

“Excuse me if I need a minute to process the fact that my daughter could be dead, Mr. Steel. If what you say is true, then I’ll have to accept it. But before we jump to any conclusions, I’d like a dental exam to be conducted on Lyra, just to be certain.” I know I should feel sympathetic towards her. Especially when I see her wipe at a tear that penetrated her stony façade. But I don’t. Her pain is my joy and if that makes me a cold prick, then so be it. Bella’s alive! And no one will ever stand in our way again.

“In case you haven’t noticed, Bella’s not in the right frame of mind. So you tell me what happened. She has no clue who the fuck I am and she’s obviously assumed the role of your daughter. Why?”

I scrutinize her as she runs her fingertips through her hair. I can tell she’s contemplating what to say next and that pisses me off. “Vega, I’m warning you…”

She holds up her hands to silence me. “Please give me a minute, Mr. Steel.” Once she’s composed herself she continues. “Lyra and I always went out to dinner on Thursday nights. So when I told her I couldn’t make it because I had an interview, she decided to go out with one of her friends. Lyra never came home that night. We called everyone we could think of and no one had seen her. Grant and I were frantic. Thirty-six agonizing hours later, a police officer found her in an alleyway. I’ve never been afraid, Mr. Steel. Until I walked into her room and she was so disorientated she didn’t even recognize her own parents.”

“Didn’t you think that was a bit odd, Mrs. Harper?  She’d been missing for so long and no one asked where she’d been?”

“It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who doesn’t know who the hell you are! Fine! Lyra was diagnosed with dissociative amnesia. It happens when a patient goes through something stressful or traumatic and is unable to remember personal information. It could last for months, years, or indefinitely. Or her memory could easily resurface due to her surroundings. Look, I can’t have this conversation with you right now, Mr. Steel. Please, give me some space. For the love of god I need time…”

“No! The clock’s been ticking long enough, Mrs. Harper. Your time is up! I want answers and I want them now.” I can’t stop the growl that rises up from deep inside of me. I suddenly feel violent and feral. Like I could hit her and never stop until she tells me what I want to hear. My military instincts are kicking in and I need to distance myself from her.

Her eyes snap shut as I stand up. She’s waiting for me to hit her. Good god! What is wrong with me? With my hands clenched at my sides, I begin pacing back and forth. The echo of my bare feet smacking the hardwood floor is the only sound in the room. I inhale slowly through my nose, then blow out in short bursts. Once my heart rate has slowed, I focus on the woman in question. She appears poised when I stop pacing and cross my arms over my chest.

“I wish I had all the answers to your questions, Mr. Steel. Unfortunately, I do not. If you give me some more time, I’ll try to get them for you. Under one condition.”

Ah, I should have known she’d want it on her terms. “And what might that be, Mrs. Harper?”

I watch her stand, smooth over her skirt and saunter over. We’re now standing a foot apart and I automatically brace myself for a slap that never comes. “I will only help you if you let Lyra go on believing she’s my daughter.”

What? She has got to be out of her fucking mind! I take a quick step forward and I’m impressed when she doesn’t cower. I thought I was quite intimidating, but apparently not. Well, I’m sure she’s seen enough violence as a reporter to last her a lifetime. “That’s not acceptable! No deal. I don’t need you to find the answers, Vega. I’m more than capable of finding them myself. I was just hoping that maybe, just maybe, you could shed some light on this precarious situation. That’s all.”

“I’ve no doubt in due time you’ll find the answers, Mr. Steel. But remember, I have access to the media. There are certain facts that I could get much faster than you. What might take you months to find, I could easily acquire in hours.”

Dammit, she’s right... I don’t want to play cat and mouse, but I don’t see any other way. “You have my word that I will let her believe you’re her mother, Vega. But if for some reason she starts to remember the life we had together, then all bets are off.”

“I don’t foresee that happening, Mr. Steel. After all, she didn’t remember you back at the cabin. Suffice it to say you’re not very memorable.” Ouch, that really stings. But I will not tell her that Lyra already remembers me. To some degree. A good poker player never shows his hand.

I don’t have time to respond as Bella crashes through the front door. It’s evident by the way she’s glaring at us that she wants to know what’s been taking so long. So, I say the first thing that comes to mind. “Your mother and I have been having a wonderful chat.” Vega’s eyes widen in horror at the thought of me coming clean. Of course, I wouldn’t do that. “I’ve just informed her that Ryker Steel is Jonathan Day.”

Lyra

I can’t, for the life of me, understand why he would reveal this to my mother. Of all people! She makes a living on piecing little tidbits of information like this as a headline for The New York Times. Is he crazy?

My mother speaks before I can respond. “Lyra, close your mouth. I promise his secret’s safe with me. Now, how about that cup of coffee.”

My mother would never be this blasé about such big news. It’s huge! “Ryker, don’t you see what you’ve done? You’ve played right into her hands. She will use this against you sometime in the future.”

He shortens the distance between us and when his hands land on my cheeks, I try not to melt into his touch. How much did he tell her? “I wanted your mother to know that I’m not the monster everyone made me out to be. Did I fulfill my promise, precious? Did I reunite you with the ones you love?”

“You did, Ryker. And I will be forever grateful.” When his thumb gently strokes my bottom lip, I know he wants to kiss me. Unfortunately, it will have to wait. My mother’s a more pressing problem at the moment. I have to force myself to look away from his mesmerizing stare. He’s just so damn sexy. Quickly, I turn and focus on my mother. “C’mon, Mother. I’ll brew you a fresh cup and then you can catch a later flight. We don’t want Dad to be jealous that you had a visit and he didn’t.” With a smug smile, I grab her by the arm and whisk her far, far away. The last thing I want her to see is the chemistry between Ryker and me. I’m not ready to confess my true feelings for this man. Not until I’ve spoken with Gage. It just wouldn’t be right.

Mother and I don’t bother speaking until we’ve stepped inside the house. “So, how late is Gage working?” And there it is. The subject that I’ve been avoiding at all costs. I try to avoid her stare as she sits down at the kitchen table. I busy myself by grabbing the cream and sugar before brewing her a fresh cup. “Sweetie, did you hear me?”

Once I’ve placed everything on the table, I can’t stall any longer. “Mom. Gage is living in Toronto. He was offered a six-month position and he accepted it.” I feel the crackle of tension the moment our eyes meet.

“Doing what, Lyra? What could possibly be more important than his father’s business? When did all of this come about?”

“Please, I can only answer one question at a time. Gage had an architectural opportunity of a lifetime and he grabbed it with both hands. With his parents’ blessing, I might add. It’s only for six months but if they like what they see, it could be a permanent position.”

“I can’t believe this. Didn’t Gage offer to take you with him? Don’t give me that look, Lyra. Did he?”

“Mom, it’s complicated. I’d rather not talk about it. Besides, that’s not the reason why you came here today. We need to figure out why I’m having these hallucinations. Hell, I feel like I’m going backwards instead of forwards. I haven’t had them in years and all of a sudden they’re back. What’s wrong with me?”

“Do you remember when they started? Perhaps that’s what triggered them.”

Crap! I can’t tell her it happened when I read that note inside of Cody’s collar. Then she would want to know what it said, who it was from. Ugh, my head is spinning out of control just thinking about it. I hate lying to her but I see no other way. “Mom, I really don’t remember. Look, I’m fine now so there’s no reason for you to stay. I’m sorry I panicked. Why don’t you call the airline and see if you can get another flight out tonight.”

She studies me for a beat. I can see her wheels spinning and my heart begins to race. She’s on to me, I just know it. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your ‘precious’ abductor living next door, now would it?”

Damn! She heard him call me precious.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three…

“Of course not, Mother. I had no idea he was next door. I was having a spell and he helped me find Cody. That’s all.”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit odd that he’s living next door to you now that Gage is gone? I don’t like it, Lyra. I don’t like it one bit. I think you should come home with me.”

“I have a job, Mother. I can’t just take off any time you want me to. Look, I know you’re worried about me and I really appreciate your concern. But I’m fine. Really. If you want to stay the night, I understand. But I need to get up early to go to work.”

“I’d feel a whole lot better leaving you if you made an appointment with Dr. Banks. Can you do that for me, Lyra? Please.”

Dr. Banks was the therapist who was treating me for my amnesia. “Fine. Under one condition.” When she nods, I continue. “Can we stop talking about this and go out for a nice dinner instead?”

“If that’s what my girl wants, then that’s what she’ll get.”

After everything that happened earlier, I spend a copious amount of time showering and getting dressed. Once I feel human again, we go out and have a wonderful dinner. Together. And it feels just like old times. All the while, making sure to keep the conversation pointed in her direction. By the time we get home, I’m utterly exhausted. So I excuse myself, crawl into bed and dream of a beautiful man with piercing blue eyes.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

July

Ryker

It’s been over a week since my run in with Mrs. Harper. I have no idea what she’s told Bella, but she’s been keeping her distance. It infuriates me! So every morning, I watch her leave for work. Then the first thing she does when she comes home is let Cody out. I would offer to do it for her but I don’t want to interfere. It’s obvious she’s trying like hell to stay away from me. I, on the other hand, ache for her. I desperately want her to remember me and the life we had. Fuck! And to make matters worse, I haven’t heard a damn thing from her mother. Fortunately, I’ve started my own investigation and I have a few things I need to follow up on. So I’ll be leaving for New York in a matter of hours. Which reminds me, I still need to pack.

This will be the first time in years that I’m staying at my apartment. In fact, I haven’t been there since the day I walked away from my old life. I thought it was about time for me to man the fuck up. As painful as it’s going to be, I need to get it over with. Maybe then, I’ll be able to decide whether I want to hang on to the place or get rid of it. It belongs to Bella and me. That’s why I’ve been hesitant about selling it. Especially now that I know she’s alive. Would she even recognize it if I took her there? Fuck, that’s it! What a great idea. Once she comes home, I’m going to tell her we’re going on a road trip this weekend. And that I won’t take no for an answer.

I’m antsy as I sit on my front steps, waiting for her to come home. Normally, she’s right on time. Just watch, today of all days she’ll have made plans to go somewhere. God, I hope not. I’ve been planning what I’m going to say for the last hour. Over and over again until I have it memorized. She’ll use Cody as an excuse not to come, but I plan on taking her with us. All she’ll have to do is pack a few things and we’ll head out. I’ve already called ahead to let them know I’ll be arriving in the early evening. I thought it best to prepare them since they haven’t seen me in years. The last thing I want is to cause a scene once I get there. It’s bad enough that I’ll be walking in with a woman who they thought was dead. I’ll make sure to introduce her as Lyra Harper so there won’t be any mistakes.

My nerves are just about shot by the time I see her little black Honda driving down the road. Well, here goes nothing. I’m half way there by the time she’s rolling down the driveway. I can sense she’s trying to ignore me but it’s impossible when I open her car door. “Lyra, pack your bags. You’re coming to New York with me this weekend.” Wow! That is so not the way I’ve been practicing it in my head.

I quickly take a step back when she swings her legs out without warning. “I don’t think so, Ryker. But thanks for asking.” Oh, she’s a feisty one today. Well, let’s see if I remember how to calm her the fuck down.

Instantly, I invade her personal space. To the point where I now have her pinned between my chest and the car door. Which she just recently slammed like a petulant child. My hands itch to reach out and touch her. So I let them. Lyra closes her eyes when I wrap my hand around the base of her neck and pull her in closer. Then I allow my other hand to caress the curve of her hip before grabbing her ass. I want her to feel how aroused I am whenever she’s near. I lean down just close enough to whisper in her ear. “It’s not up for discussion, precious. Pack your things now or you’ll be running around naked all weekend. Come to think of it, never mind. We’ll just grab Cody and go.” My precious girl shivers when she feels how fucking hard I am for her.

She’s breathless when she responds, “I can’t, Ryker. It wouldn’t be fair to Gage if I slept with you again. Last time, I never thought I’d see him again. It’s different now.”

I’m so angry that I can feel the bile burning a hole in the back of my throat. Just the thought of her rejecting me to be with him makes me livid. “I’ll understand if you want the white picket fence with the two-point-three kids, Lyra. But please don’t sacrifice yourself because you think it’s the noble thing to do.”

When she shakes her head, I get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. “I want you, Ry. God help me, I do.” Aw, hell. That name drives me fucking insane! I want to scream, “That’s right, Bella. It’s me. Your husband.” But I can’t! So I do the only thing I can. I crush my mouth against hers and breathe her air. Taste her lips. And stoke the fire that’s been raging inside of me for far too long. I bite her bottom lip and slide my tongue over the sensitive pink flesh, while her hands slide beneath my T-shirt and worship my heated skin. I’m on fucking fire and the only woman who can put it out is consuming me. “I’ll go with you,” she whispers against my lips. “Only if we sleep separately. I can’t control myself when you’re near me.” I can’t help chuckling at her honesty.

I’m mesmerized when I pull away and gaze into her half-hooded eyes. She’s so beautiful when she’s aroused. Flushed and needy. My cock’s about to burst at the thought of being inside of her again. “I can’t make any promises, Lyra. Since you’re the only woman I’ve been able to think about since the moment we met.” Sonia can attest to that statement.

“Well, how can I refuse a weekend getaway when you’re being so sweet? Unless, of course, it’s just a ploy to get inside my pants.”

“Ah, you caught me.” My hands automatically frame her face, so I can place a tender kiss on her swollen lips. “I’ll try to be on my best behavior but I’m not going to make any promises I won’t be able to keep. Now go pack a bag and let’s get the hell out of here.” I give her a little slap on her ass as she saunters off. With her hips swaying and her blonde hair blowing in the breeze. And once she disappears inside, I try letting go of all the tension I’d been trying to rein in. I’m not a religious man by any means. But right now I’m sending up a silent prayer. I’m hoping once she sees where I live, it will trigger some kind of memory. We were so happy there. All I can do is keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. The rest is up to her.

Lyra

Before we headed out, I had to give Cody a few minutes alone with Ryker because she was so happy to see him. Her master’s back. It brought tears to my eyes. It was the first time she’d actually seen him since the day I had my spell. Unfortunately for her, all his time and attention had been focused on me that day. Leaving her out in the cold. But he more than made up for it today. She was so glad to see him that we had a hard time getting her in the back seat of his SUV.

Now we’re on our way to his apartment. And I’d be lying through my teeth if I didn’t say I was a bit nervous. What am I doing? My subconscious is screaming at me, “You let him whisk you away hoping for a romantic weekend, Lyra.” Ugh, I know I shouldn’t feel guilty. Wasn’t it Gage who let me go so I could decide what I wanted? Yes, it was. But clearly, I haven’t been able to do the same.

When I suddenly realize where we are, I start fidgeting. Shit! I’m in New York. God forbid any of my mother’s friends see me. If they find out I was in the city and didn’t stop by, I’d get the silent treatment. Which reminds me, I’ve yet to make an appointment with Dr. Banks. That’s the first thing my mom will ask me next time we speak. I know I should see her for my own peace of mind, but now that I’m feeling better I don’t see the point. Who wants to go back in time?

The city is crazy this time of day. Commuters are trying to rush home to spend the weekend with their families. Others are rushing to grab the train so they can spend their time in the suburbs. Like I used to do when I worked in the city all those months ago. Before the man sitting next to me so drastically changed my life.

I’m confused when Ryker drives into the garage at the Lincoln Towers. I thought he was taking me to his apartment in the city. Does he have business here he needs to attend to? He catches me watching him when he shuts off the ignition. Ryker swallows hard, bobbing his Adam’s apple repeatedly. He looks nervous. Why? I grab his hand and ask, “Why are we here? I thought you were taking me to your place.”

“This is my place, precious. Would you like to go inside?”

“I’d love to.” Ryker suddenly looks so young and insecure, sitting behind the wheel. Could he be worried that I’m not going to like it? No. It’s something else. It has to be. “Are you ready?” When his smoldering gaze fixes on me, I melt in my seat. My confident man is back. His hand snakes around the nape of my neck and pulls me in. I feel lightheaded when his lips collide with mine. And when his tongue slips inside of my mouth with determination, my clit throbs for his attention as well. I swear if he keeps this up I will have an orgasm without him ever touching me.

“I’m ready now, precious.” Oh, so am I….

Ryker oozes sex when he saunters over to open my door. I’m trembling by the time he reaches for my hand to help me out. What a gentleman. Cody starts to bark when he opens up the trunk to grab our bags. Silly girl thinks we’re leaving her behind. “Stay,” Is the only command he gives before opening her door. Then the minute the leash is clipped to her collar, she jumps to the ground. I’m thinking they’ve done this a few times before. It makes me smile.

“What’s so funny, precious?” Yeah, I’m not gonna lie. I’m starting to like it when he calls me that.

“Nothing, really. It’s just sweet the way the two of you can pick up where you left off after all this time.”

Although he insisted on carrying both of our bags, he still finds a way to pin me up against the car door with his body. I’m quickly learning that Ryker loves to use cars to incapacitate me. Nothing can stop him from getting what he wants. “Animals will never forget their master.” His breath is so warm against my neck that I can feel my nipples pebble beneath my shirt. “Humans might forget, but they can be trained to remember.” If you think my pussy was wet before, well now it’s soaked. His deep, gravelly voice beckons to all of my girlie parts. But when his tongue flicks across the pulse in my neck, yeah, stick a fork in me. I’m done. “Come, precious.” Oh, hell yeah!

My eyes flutter open the moment he turns away. And that’s when I’m acutely aware that he’s ready to go up to his apartment. Embarrassment causes my cheeks to heat, immediately. And I’d love to wipe that smirk off his face. But it’s soon forgotten when he hands me Cody’s leash so his hand is free to guide me into the building.

With his large hand on the small of my back, we enter the ginormous lobby and all heads turn in our direction. I feel his body tense and for the life of me I have no idea why. Then it begins. “Welcome back, Mr. Steel. Ms. Harper.” “Nice to see you again, Mr. Steel.” “Is there anything we can get you, Mr. Steel, Ms. Harper?” And so on and so forth. Ryker doesn’t speak, he just gives each and every one a nod in acknowledgement as he passes by. And I smile, wondering how the hell they know my name. He starts to relax the moment we reach the elevator doors. With his eyes straight ahead, he says, “I called to let them know you were coming.”

“Well, that would explain it then.” His lips quirk in a half-ass grin. I’m sure he can hear the pitter patter of my heart since we’re so close. I’m totally going to sleep with him this weekend. I just know it.

When the elevator door pings open, he gently grabs my elbow and ushers me inside. Several people move over to accommodate Cody. They’re afraid of her. If they only knew what a big baby she is. I watch as Ryker pushes the number twenty with his long fingers. Everything about this ‘apartment’ screams money. And I’m sad when I realize I don’t know a thing about this man. Intimately, perhaps, but not on a personal level.

A couple in the back start talking to Cody and I can see Ryker’s brows furrow. Not in anger but in agitation. I suddenly realize he might be uncomfortable in confined spaces. Hell, I’d never thought about it. But all those years as a recluse must have taken a toll on him. I loop my arm in his and squeeze his bicep. Then I’m met with a smoldering glance before the elevator comes to a stop. When the door opens, everyone gets off. Just the two of us remain. And as soon as the door closes his hands fist in my hair and his mouth devours mine. Rough and hard. Ryker’s staking his claim and I’m letting him…

We come up for air at the exact same time the elevator stops. Almost as if he knew how long the ride would last. He has just enough time to adjust his pants before it abruptly opens. I’m trying so hard not to laugh at his predicament, but it’s not working. A girlish giggle escapes the second the elevator doors open and he quickly pulls me in front of him. Oh, the man has skills! No doubt about it.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Ryker

My heart’s beating so fast when I open the door. Not only because this is the first time I’ve been here in years, but I’m also anticipating her reaction. I can’t help wondering if I’ll be leaving with Lyra or with my beautiful Bella. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m a very fortunate man to have a second chance.

A wave of nostalgia hits me when I see the familiar doormat. Without giving it much thought, I automatically take off my shoes and leave them on the tattered rug. Cody’s so excited that she tugs on Lyra as she races through the door. “Cody. Sit.” She just doesn’t realize her own strength sometimes. Lyra quickly unclips the leash but Cody won’t budge. Not until I give her a command. With her tongue lolling out of her mouth she peeks up at me. “Go.” And she does. Sniffing every nook and cranny she can find. I’m so lost in my own thoughts that I stand barefoot and motionless in the middle of the room. Memories both good and bad assault me all at once…

“Ry, could you come in here? I need help zipping up this damn dress.” Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella. Now we’re going to be late for the opening. I will have that dress bunched up around your waist, pulled down over your breasts and be inside of you quicker than wet on water.

“Please remember to read the note, Ryker. The quote was given to me in a dream last night.”

“You danced beautifully tonight, Isabella. Perfection. I’m so damn proud of you,” I whisper against her soft lips. And when her arms snake around my neck, I know I’m the luckiest man alive.

“Mr. Steel. I’m sorry to inform you that your wife was killed in a hit and run tonight on the corner of Columbus Avenue and West 62nd Street. We’ll give you a few minutes and then we need you to come down to identify the body.”

“Ryker, are you all right?” I’m brought back to reality when a gentle hand lands on my forearm. It’s Bella. Your wife! No. She’s no longer my wife but a woman who resembles her. Whether it’s because Mrs. Harper made her that way or not. She truly believes she’s Lyra Harper. So that’s who I need her to be. Because as much as I hate to admit it, I fell in love with Lyra in the very beginning. Not Bell.

“Yes. I’m fine, precious. Come. I’ll show you where you can freshen up.” I smile when Cody follows us down the hall.

Taking a deep breath, I open up the bedroom door. And I’m both sad and relieved that her scent is no longer present. I throw our bags on the bed while precious stands in the doorway. “Lyra?”

Her hand’s pressed tightly against her throat and she looks absolutely terrified. My heart quickens as she glances about the room. When her gaze finally lands on mine, she swallows. She speaks so softly that I can barely hear her. “Did she live here?”

I need a minute. I wish I could answer her question right away but I need a damn minute. This situation is so very confusing to me because my wife is here and yet she doesn’t even remember. “Yes. Is that going to be a problem for you, Lyra?”

“I-I don’t know. It’s just that…”

“What is it, precious? Tell me.”

“Are you replacing me with her because we look alike?”

Goddamn, motherfucker, prick and whore!!!

“Is that what you really think, Lyra? That I would stoop so low as to bring you here just to play house? If you believe that, then you don’t know me very well at all, do you?”

“No, Ryker. I don’t! We had amazing sex at the cabin but I know nothing about your personal life. You wouldn’t tell me. Remember? So excuse me if I’m upset. I won’t be her replacement just because I look like her, Ryker. I can’t.”

We’ve only been here for less than ten minutes and I’m already spent. Defeated. This was a mistake. A grave mistake.

I sit on the edge of the bed and comb my fingers through my hair. I feel misplaced. Like no matter where I go, I don’t belong. When will it ever fucking end? “I loved her. She was my whole life. I saw her beauty in every sunrise and every sunset. Bella was in a league of her own. A bright and shining star. She would have made prima ballerina and it was all taken away in an instant. The reason I became a recluse is a simple one. I saw her killer in every damn face that I came across. Men, women, even children for fuck’s sake. I became the monster that I spent years trying to take down. Then out of the blue, this dainty girl with sad hazel eyes needed rescuing. And she just so happened to look like the one I was trying desperately to forget.” I want to look at her, so badly, but I’m a coward. I’m afraid my love won’t be reciprocated and it will destroy me. So I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees. Hesitating, until I can find the right words.

“Ryker, you don’t need to…”

“Yes, Lyra. I do.” I take one breath. And then another before I have the courage to continue. “She was a feisty little thing. So demanding. And so fucking irresistible. She tugged at my heart and yet pushed me far away at the same time. In the beginning it was a love-hate relationship, but by the time I set her free I had fallen deeply and madly in love with her.” I hadn’t realized Lyra had inched her way into the room, until her arms, so small and strong wrap around my neck. Instinctively, mine wind around her and pull her close. So my face is burrowed in the curve of her breasts. There’s no place else I’d rather be.

“I want to hear you say it, Ry. I need to hear those words from your lips.” Aw, she’s fucking killing me.

I quickly stand up and bring her along with me. And gaze into those beautiful eyes that I’ve come to love. “I was a cold, heartless bastard until you came into my life, precious. You singlehandedly chipped away at the block of ice I’d formed around my heart. Something I never thought possible. Your tenacious, fiery, and candid spirit made my blood boil. Reminding me that I was very much alive. That’s why I fell irrevocably in love with you, Lyra. I will love you until I take my last breath.”

Her eyes glass over as she frames my face with her graceful hands. “You, Ryker Steel, have owned me body and soul since the first time I laid eyes on you. Love is a single soul composed of two bodies. We share one soul and therefore I am bound by you. For eternity.” Those are the words I’ve been longing to hear. Mrs. Harper be damned, because I’m taking back what’s mine. My mouth seeks hers in a tender, erotic kiss. The kind that sends the blood pumping straight to my cock. I want to spend the weekend so deep inside of her that she won’t remember her name.

Spinning around, I lay her on the bed. And when I do, she wraps her legs around me and pulls me on top of her. She giggles when I land on my forearms to break the fall. Fuck, I could have easily crushed her. Lyra arches her back and grinds herself against me. My, my, my. She’s eager to play. Well, so am I.

Lyra

With nimble fingers, Ryker begins unbuttoning my blouse. Slowly. His confidence and self-assuredness is so damn sexy. By the time he opens it to expose my breasts I’m wet and needy. I’ve waited so long to be with him that I don’t think I can wait a minute longer. “Please, I want you inside me.”

“All good things come to those who wait, precious. Mmm, you smell divine and you taste like fucking sin.” He’s pulled down my bra and tugging on my nipple with his teeth. Sending shock waves of ecstasy to my very core. My hands fist in his hair when his warm, wet mouth devours my breast. Oh God! And I have to bite my lip when his tongue flicks the aching bud. This all-consuming lust and fiery passion is what I’ve been waiting for, for months. Ryker Steel can do whatever he wants to my body and I would love every pleasurable minute of it.

As he begins licking his way down to the place where I want him the most, a noise draws his attention away. “It has to be Cody,” I whisper.

“She’s smart, Lyra, but I haven’t taught her how to open the door.” His index finger presses to my lips, he wants me to be quiet. Now he’s scaring me. In a flash he’s off the bed and reaching for his bag. When he pulls out his gun, my heart begins to race.

“Ryker…”

Infuriated, he glances back at me and makes a cutting motion across his throat. I shut up immediately. But it’s that little flicker of fear in his eyes that has me worried. I’ve only seen it once before. The night he came home and found out Hawk had tied me up at the cabin. Although the fear had been brief, it had been there nonetheless.

When he mouths “Stay,” I do what he asks. But my heart beats wildly in my chest when Cody begins to growl. Ryker’s out the door in a flash. Screaming, crashing and barking ensue and I desperately want to run out there. But he told you to stay, Lyra. Yeah well, since when did I start listening to him? I quickly fix my bra and button my blouse and go see what all the commotion’s about.

The first thing I witness is a middle-aged woman pressing her hands to her heart. Poor thing looks like she’s ready to have a heart attack. Then I see what all the noise was about. By the looks of it she went grocery shopping and now they’re all scattered about the floor. A loaf of Italian bread’s soaking up the milk that’s leaked out of the carton. Fresh vegetables are precariously tossed around the room like overturned trees. And when her eyes suddenly meet mine, she screams.

It doesn’t take long for Ryker’s gaze to meet mine and then he pales. “Mrs. Leo, it’s all right. I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Lyra Harper. Lyra, Mrs. Leo’s my caretaker. She’s been managing my apartment while I’ve been away.” Why does that name sound so familiar?

The woman’s obviously in shock. She keeps glancing back and forth between the both of us, unsure of what to do. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Leo. Here let me help you clean up this mess.” I start by trying to salvage everything I can before cleaning up what I can’t.

Ryker slips on his shoes before grabbing the garbage can. “It’s all right, Mrs. Leo. Why don’t you have a seat and we’ll clean this up.”

With her hand still pressed against her chest she says, “I’m so sorry, Mr. Steel. The concierge said you’d be arriving sometime later tonight. I was hoping to have this all put away by then.”

Ryker doesn’t have to speak because I clearly know what he’s thinking. If she had come in five minutes later we would have been going at it like a bunch of crazy teenagers. That would have been quite embarrassing to say the least.

“I’d love some coffee, Mrs. Leo. Why don’t you make us all a cup, and Lyra and I will take care of this?” And that is why I desperately love this man. Luckily, the bag of coffee and the little container of cream survived the disaster. So she quickly takes it from his hand and busies herself. When I grab the last roll of paper towels and begin soaking up the mess, Ryker starts chuckling. “What about this do you find so amusing, Mr. Steel?”

“I envisioned you on all fours tonight, precious, but not quite like this.” When his lips quirk in a comical grin, I can’t help laughing. An all-out, gut-wrenching belly laugh that causes tears to rush down my cheeks. For some reason I can’t stop and that makes it all the funnier. Mrs. Leo must think we’re a bunch of buffoons the way we’re carrying on.

Once we’ve composed ourselves, Ryker graciously takes my hand and pulls me up. His intense gaze thrills me to the bone because I know his passion is for me and me alone. “You are so beautiful when you laugh, Lyra. You should do it more often.”

We both glance up when Mrs. Leo walks into the room. “The coffee’s ready, sir. Why don’t you let me finish up in here and enjoy it while it’s hot?” The poor woman’s wringing her hands like she’s going to be scolded like a disobedient child.

“Thank you, Mrs. Leo. It was really sweet of you to pick up all of my favorites so they’d be here when I arrived. I’m going to put a little something extra in your check this month.”

“Oh, sir, that’s not necessary. Especially after the mess I made…”

“Nonsense. It’s the thought that counts. I should be the one apologizing to you. Or perhaps Cody should be the one. Cody. Come.”

I watch in fascination as Cody ambles over and stands by Ryker’s side. Motionless. “Cody. Sit.” And she does because she always listens to her master. “Cody, apologize to Mrs. Leo for frightening her.”

What? Am I missing something here? When Cody lifts her paw in the air, a sense of déjà vu prickles at my spine. And it gets worse when Mrs. Leo grabs her paw and shakes it. This is the third time tonight that something feels familiar. Why?

Suddenly, a thick fog surrounds me. Ryker’s talking but for the life of me I can’t understand a word he’s saying. I feel him lay me down on the couch as Mrs. Leo puts a cold compress to my forehead.

I need to breathe.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi…

Breathe, Bella! Breathe!

“Talk to me, Lyra. Tell me what’s wrong.”

I want to. I really do. But how do you tell your husband that his wife is very much alive when he thinks she’s dead…

Chapter Thirty

Ryker

Not another damn spell! This has got to stop. She’s incoherent as I rub her arms, her thighs, and speak to her as calmly as possible. I don’t like this. Not one damn bit! I’m just about to tell Mrs. Leo to call 911 when Lyra reaches up and gently presses the edges of my frown upward with her thumbs. To the ordinary eye, it would be a simple gesture of comfort. For me, it knocks me on my fucking ass. Bella used to do this all the time when I was deep in thought. Fuck me! Her name is just a breath away and I’m so tempted to use it, but do I dare? And then I look into her eyes and they reflect everything I need to know. She remembers me…

“Mr. Steel. Should I call for help?” Fuck! I’d forgotten Mrs. Leo was still here. I watch as Bella bites her lip. No, Bella. No. Don’t say a word.

I quickly stand and take her elbow. “Lyra has spells every once in a while, Mrs. Leo. She’s fine now. Come, I’ll walk you out. I’ve taken up enough of your time already.”

“Nonsense. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did but she looks so similar to…”

“Yes, I hear that quite often. And I would have prepared you had I known you’d be here. My apologies, and thanks for the groceries. That was very thoughtful of you. Goodbye now.”

I don’t want to seem ungrateful as I hurry her out the door. Making sure to lock it behind me. And when I turn around to see my beautiful wife standing five feet away, I’m breathless. My heart’s beating like a thousand wild horses and I fear I might die at any minute. Without hesitating, I close the distance and wrap her up in my arms. “Bella,” barely escapes my lips before hers press against mine. Slowly, seductively, and damn near perfect. My wife.

“Ry, I’m so sorry…”

I silence her with a whisper. I nibble on her delectable lips, pick her up and take her directly into my bedroom. Our bedroom. With her legs tangled around my hips and locked at the ankles. As far as I’m concerned, the only one who needs to apologize is Mrs. Harper.

I gently lay her down on the bed and just stare at her. My wife is alive. And she’s here with me now. I’ve known for many months, but she’s just remembered. And her love for me is reflected in those breathtaking eyes. Me. Bella fucking loves ME!

“Oh god, Ryker. What about Gage? What am I going to do? I have to tell him who I am and…”

“Hush, baby. I’ll take care of everything when the time comes. Right now, it’s just the two of us. How are you feeling, Bella?” God, her name. It’s like an aphrodisiac as it rolls off my tongue. One I never thought I’d be privileged enough to speak again.

“I’ll admit I am tired, but I can’t rest. Not now. There’s so much I need to tell you about everything I just remembered! I need to…”

“Baby, we have all weekend. Obviously your memory is on overdrive and you need your rest. Here, lie down so I can hold you while you sleep. Once you wake up, we’ll talk.” She slides into me with such a familiarity that my chest aches. Funny. It’s the same way Lyra and I used to sleep back at the cabin. I’d like to think that subconsciously Bella knew who I was even back then.

We’re spooning and I have my face buried in the crook of her neck. She’s holding my arms so tightly that it is cutting off all my circulation. I don’t care. Not one damn bit. Her breathing is evening out and I think she’s finally sleeping when she whispers, “How did you know it was me?”

I kiss the delicate skin just below her ear before answering. “I was frowning and you used your magic thumbs to wipe it away. You always tried to soothe me with your touch, Bella. It’s who you are and one of the reasons I fell in love with you. Now sleep.” She’s not quite ready to hear how I knew it was her back at the cabin. How I’d parted her trembling thighs to reveal the tiny heart-shaped birthmark I’d treasured for so long. All things, in due time.

She turns around just far enough to capture my lips with hers. “You can still call me precious, Ryker. I kinda like it now.”

“Oh you do, do you? Well, for all its worth, I kinda like it too. Sweet dreams, precious.”

Not long after, my wife falls asleep in my arms. Soundly. And I’m wide awake with a million questions running through my mind. The biggest one is: do I tell the world my wife is alive or do I go on pretending she’s dead? It would be safer for all of us if I let everyone believe she’s Lyra Harper. I don’t want to, but it might be the only alternative. Even though Rodriguez is in prison awaiting trial, he still has enough power on the outside to influence his henchmen. Another one at the top of my list is: did Bella know Lyra? And if she did, how? I’m sure all of my questions will be answered in time. I just hope when she wakes, she still has her memory.

A tickling sensation stirs me in my sleep. My hand immediately reaches for the Glock hidden beneath my pillow while the other has the intruder pinned to the bed by her throat. Dread claws at my chest when I see Bella’s frightened eyes pleading with me to stop. Fuck…

Promptly, I sit back on my heels, trying to catch my breath. I could have killed her. “Are you all right, Ryker?” She’s asking me if I’m okay?

“Give me a minute, Bell. I need a damn minute.” I climb off the bed and with shaky hands place the gun in the bedside drawer. Fuck! I haven’t had one of those dreams in months. I slowly rake my fingers through my hair.

“You didn’t hurt me…”

I hold up my hand and when I turn around, it breaks my heart. Her curious eyes remind me so much of our first few months of marriage. The nightmares were horrendous and I spent many nights sleeping on the couch. For fear of hurting her. Now they’re back. Fuck! I know why. I do. I’m afraid I’ll lose her again because of who I am. Well, I’m going to put an end to it once and for all. If it means we need to fall off the grid together, then so be it. I will not put her life in danger because of me. Never.

“I’m okay, Ryker. See?” She shows me her throat and I see no markings. I begin to relax only when she wraps her arms around my waist. “Let’s have a bite to eat and we can talk.”

I don’t want to let her go once her lips touch mine. “I need you, precious.”

“And I need you, Mr. Steel. But everything’s changed and it’s all my fault. How can you still want me after knowing I was unfaithful to you?”

The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. Sonia had been my infidelity and Gage had been hers. Not anymore. I need to make her understand that it’s over…

Bella

He’s frowning once again. And I hate the fact that it’s because of me. I don’t want him worrying about something we can’t change. It is what it is. He was led to believe that I was dead and I thought I was Lyra Harper. We didn’t know any better back then, but we do now and that’s all that matters. I get lost when his warm hands frame my face and tears threaten to fall. How was it possible to have forgotten the most important man in my life?

“I never stopped loving you, Bell. You were always right here with me.” I tremble when he grabs my hand and places it over his heart. The core of who this man really is. My husband. “You are my heart and soul, Bella Steel. And I, too, am guilty of being with another. Sonia was my lover and a good friend when I desperately needed one. Just like Gage was for you. But all of that’s in the past. Today is the beginning of the rest of our lives.” When his hungry mouth seeks mine, I don’t resist. I desperately want him. Every aching fiber of my being wants to be coupled with this man. For all eternity.

I part my lips and let him come inside. His tongue is warm and wet. It’s so arousing. It’s everything I want and everything I need. We explore each other’s mouths with fervor until we’re both trembling with need. And then his damn phone begins to ring and he growls. “Don’t answer it.” I mumble against his lips.

“I have to, baby. He’s the reason I came to New York this weekend. I promise I’ll just be a minute.” He gives me one last toe-curling kiss before striding out of the room. Leaving me wet and needy. Once again. Yep, it was inevitable. I was going to sleep with him this weekend. And now that I know who he really is, my husband, I want it more than I need air to breathe. I’m just frustrated because this is the second time we’ve been interrupted today.

I’m just about to make lunch when something catches my eye. Or should I say, doesn’t. All the beautiful paintings that Ryker and I so diligently selected no longer grace the walls of our bedroom. They’ve been stripped bare. And all of our personal photographs have been taken down as well. Who could have done this? I wonder if Mrs. Leo did this per her boss’s wishes. Or was Ryker so distraught after my death, he felt the need to dispose of everything that reminded him of me? Of us?

Suddenly, I’m a woman possessed as I fling open my closet door and barrel inside. Needing to find something from my past. Anything that will remind me of my existence. Proof that I did in fact live here!

I fall to my knees and crawl to the very depths of the darkness. And that’s where I find several boxes of all shapes and sizes hidden away. Out of sight. Out of mind. My hands begin to tremble as I tear off the tape and stick my hand inside. I know what it is the moment my fingers wrap around the fabric. My ballet slippers. A soft whimper escapes when I bring them to my chest and cuddle them much like a mother would her newborn child. Sobs rip through me as I mourn the loss of who I was and will never be again. For an innocent life that was snuffed out because of one idiotic prank. And for the grief and anguish I put Ryker through because I was afraid to tell him the truth.

“Bella! Shh, I’ve got you, baby. I’m here.” I’m suddenly swept up in a warm embrace as Ryker cradles me in his lap. Guilt pierces my heart and carves its way through my soul when I realize just what I’ve put him through. No one should ever be made to feel that inexcusable kind of pain. Least of all, someone who loves you with everything they have.

“I’m sorry for putting you through…”

“You don’t have to apologize, precious. You’re here with me now and that’s more than I could have ever hoped for. We’ll get through it, Bell. I promise.” He kisses my eyelids, the tip of my nose and the corner of my lips. Teasing me and tempting me into oblivion. In a matter of seconds, he’s striding into the bedroom and laying me on the bed. He sees me holding onto my slippers and says, “If you have the desire to dance again, Isabella, I will support you one-hundred percent. The choice is yours.”

It’s funny how I used to dream about the ballet, even when I was supposedly Lyra. I often wondered why but now I know that my subconscious was trying to tell me something. Now a part of me wants to pick up where I left off, even though I know it’s nearly impossible. Unreachable. It would take months, perhaps years, to train my body to be in perfect condition again. Could I do it? Yes, but I’d have to quit my job and train full-time.

I slip one hand behind Ryker’s neck and pull him down to me. Capturing his lips with mine. The saltiness of my tears mingle with his sweet breath and it’s intoxicating. I can feel his hardness beneath the thick fabric of his jeans. “I want to dance again, Ry. But right now all I want is for my husband to make love to me…”

Chapter Thirty-One

Ryker

I straddle her hips and slip my hands beneath her shirt. Her skin is so soft and smooth. It’s everything I remember and everything I’d forgotten. I slowly glide my knuckles over her taut stomach and watch goosebumps spread across the smooth surface. Revealing she’s still addicted to my touch. Mine.

I have a sudden need to have her hands all over me, so I take off my shirt and throw it on the floor. Leaning on my elbows, I kiss the base of her throat and my cock thickens at the moan she makes. So damn sexy. “Ryker, take your clothes off. Please.” I smile when her slippers tumble to the floor.

“Not until I strip you bare first, Bella. Then I’m going to take my time so I can worship every inch of your gorgeous body. First with my hands and then with my mouth. And once you’re screaming my name, I will give you what you need. Tell me what that is, Bella. I want to hear you say it.”

“I want your cock filling me until all I can feel is you moving inside of me.” Good answer!

Her eyes flutter closed when I slide her shirt over her head. And she sucks in a breath as I place it over her eyes. “Don’t peek, Bell. I want you to feel me. Every touch, every kiss until I can smell how much you want me. Understood?”

“Yes. God, yes.”

“That’s my girl.” She arches her back when I reach around to unfasten her bra. So eager to please. Instantly, her nipples pebble and ache for my attention. I am only too happy to oblige. My mouth seeks one hardened bud while I pinch the other between my thumb and forefinger. Which elicits a sexy moan from my wife. God, I can’t say it enough. My wife. I flick my tongue, bite and suck until she’s squirming beneath me.

“Ryker, please! I need you…”

“I’m not done with you yet, Bella. In fact, I’ve only just begun. Tonight, I’m going to make you come for every year we’ve been apart. And when I slip inside of you we will come together. I’ve waited so long for this night, precious. Nothing will stand in my way.”

Since her shirt is covering her eyes, it’s hard for me to see what she’s thinking. Until I notice unrelenting tears gliding down her temples only to vanish inside her thick blonde locks. I know she’s biting her bottom lip to stifle back a sob and it tugs at my heart. I want her to be happy, not sad. “Bell, don’t cry. I…”

I’m torn when she throws her shirt on the floor and locks eyes with mine. “You knew, didn’t you?” I must look confused because her next words hit me right in the face. “You knew it was me when I was at the cabin. Didn’t you? You knew and I didn’t. Oh god, Ryker. Oh god, oh god, oh god!” She’s becoming hysterical and for once I don’t know what to do.

“Shh, baby. Come here.” I lie down beside her and pull her into me. Her heart’s racing against my chest and I just want to hold her. Comfort her. Try and convince her that everything’s fine. “I suspected it was you, Bella. But I hate to admit in the very beginning I wasn’t sure. All of your identification stated that you were Lyra. So how the hell was I supposed to refute all the evidence? I thought clearly you would have recognized me, even with my contacts and beard. And when you didn’t, I figured fate was just a cruel bitch because you looked exactly like my dead wife.”

Her breath catches in her throat before she asks the question I’ve dreaded. “So when did you know for sure it was me?”

How do I answer this question without sounding too flippant? I lift her chin with my two fingers so I can see her reaction. When I have her undivided attention, I proceed. “Remember the first time I parted your thighs?” She nods but clearly doesn’t know where I’m heading with this. “Well, that’s when I noticed the heart-shaped birthmark on your…”

She clamps her hand over her mouth when she realizes what I’m about to say. “And I told you not to stop because it felt so good. You knew it was me… And, oh god that was the time I called you Ry and you left right before…”

“Yeah, but the best part was the next day when I threw you over my shoulder, carried you upstairs and had my way with you. I can’t believe you thought it was because I wasn’t ‘feeling it’.” She smiles and when she does, I don’t want to talk anymore. I want to make love to my wife, over and over again until the day I die. Or I’m too exhausted to think. Whichever comes first. She must see the hunger in my eyes because when her hand touches my cheek, her mouth covers mine. Long and slow until I feel her tongue curl around mine and I’m on fire.

“I want you Ryker. Please, don’t make me beg.”

I quiet her by nipping on her bottom lip and then tug on it with my teeth until she’s moaning beneath me. My lips and hands have a mind of their own as they explore every inch of her exquisite body. By the time I’ve tugged off her jeans, panties and all, I can smell her intoxicating scent waiting for my pleasure. My desire is uncontrollable, but I need to take it slow because this will be a night we will remember for the rest of our lives. A reunion that’s been years in the making.

I quickly undress and place myself between her silky thighs. Missionary. It’s the only position I was afraid to implement back at the cabin for fear she would recognize me. Bella moans and opens wider for me to slip inside. But I don’t. Instead, I just stare into her lustful eyes and get lost. Not only do I want to remember this moment, I want to absorb it. Soak up every second, every minute until it’s permanently ingrained into my memory. Forever. Because this was never supposed to be, yet she’s right here with me and she remembers. Everything…

“I love you so much, Isabella. And I am going to spend every day of my life proving to you just how much.”

Bella

My heart feels like it’s going to burst at the seams. Words just aren’t enough to convey how much I love this man. My husband. “Make love to me, Ryker. Please. I’ve waited so long for you and I don’t want to wait another second.” When I stare into his beautiful blue eyes, a feeling of peace mends my soul. What once was broken is now whole because of Lyra. My twin. I will explain everything to Ryker and I hope he will forgive me, but for now I just want to feel him. To love him. And, most importantly, to give myself completely to him.

“I wanted to savor you, Bella. Like a fine wine. But I understand your need because it matches my own. So we’ll make love and tomorrow I will fuck you until you’ve forgotten your own name.”

Yes, oh god yes. His dirty mouth sets me on fire. Right now all I want is for him to fill me up so I can’t think or breathe. I’m panting by the time his hands twine with mine as he brings them over my head. Stretching me to the max as I feel the tip of his cock teasing my slick entrance. I want to slide down his length but I can’t because he’s taking control. His gaze never wavers as he slowly and wickedly inches his way inside of me. He hisses out a sexy moan when he’s filled me to the hilt. And I whimper every time he pulls out completely and then fills me up again with his thick, hard cock. Over and over again until my legs tremble and my back arches and I want more, more, more, more! “Ry, I need to come. Pleasssseee…” When his mouth latches onto my nipple and he sucks hard, I’m just about there. The flicking of his tongue and the tightening in my core sends ripples directly to my clit.

“Not yet. I want to come with you, precious.” I’m mesmerized as I watch his back flex and his hips piston with every long thrust. And I have the sudden urge to lick the fine sheen of sweat that suddenly appears. My breasts are now heavy and tender from all of his sucking. God, I want to come. Desperately. Ryker suddenly lets go of my left hand and lifts my leg so he can go deeper. Oh, fuck!

“I want to hear you scream my name, Bella. Now!”

Our bodies are in such sync that I obey his every command. I clench around his steel cock and scream, “Rykeeerrrr, I’m coming…” When his mouth crashes into mine, I feel his seed spill inside of me. Spurt after spurt of hot cum filling me, sending us both spiraling out of control. Our moans are now lost in a sea of swirling and tangled tongues. His hands are possessing, controlling, dominating. I’m finally home where I belong…

My heart skips a beat when he pulls away and glides his thumbs along my swollen lips. Ryker looks so damn sexy and sated that I want to curl myself around him and never let him go. I can’t stop staring at him. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on. The silence is comfortable as we just take each other in. Both of us thankful that we’ve somehow found our way back to one another. “Do you know how much I love you, Ryker?” I love the way his lips curl into a sexy grin before he kisses the corner of my mouth. Ah, hell’s bells. Now I’ve just turned into a puddle of mush…

“I think I might, Bell. But if you want to tell me, I’d love to hear it.” His gorgeous blue eyes are caught up with mine, waiting.

“I loved you back at the cabin when you saved my life. When I thought I was Lyra. Apparently my heart and soul knew long before I did that you were already mine. I felt a familiarity. A connection. It pulled me in and wouldn’t let go no matter how hard I tried to fight it. You felt it too. I know you did. Long before you had proof that it was really me. It’s true, we are two bodies with one soul and that’s how much I love you.”

“I will never take one more day for granted, precious. Never. I am beyond thankful that you remember me and I will spend eternity trying to be the best husband I can possibly be. I love you, Bella Steel. You have saved me in more ways than you can imagine.” He leaves a tender kiss on my lips before getting out of bed. Leaving me cold and empty. But I don’t have time to miss him too much when he returns with a warm cloth to clean me up. Once he’s finished he crawls into bed, pulls the covers over us, and holds me close. There’s no place else I’d rather be.

I long to tell him the truth but I’m scared. What will he think when he finds out Lyra was my twin and I let her assume my identity? And that one time cost her her life. Now I have to tell Ryker the truth and Mr. and Mrs. Harper that their daughter’s dead and I’m very much alive. I can’t even begin to imagine the repercussions that all of this will have on everyone’s lives. As happy as I am, I can’t forget that there’s a dark cloud hanging over me. The sooner I get it over with, the better it will be.

“Would you like to talk now, precious, or save it for tomorrow?”

God, I swear he can read my thoughts. I don’t ever remember being as nervous as I am right now. Not even when I was up on stage, dancing to a sold-out crowd. Or a standing ovation. My sister’s dead because of me and I need to get it off my chest before it eats away at me. So taking a deep breath I begin to tell Ryker everything from the beginning. Hopefully, he’ll understand. “I’m sure you probably have put two and two together by now and figured out that Lyra was my twin. Both of us were put in foster care at the age of two. Unfortunately, a lot of couples didn’t want to take on the responsibility of two children, so we were separated. I had already been chosen by the Bennets when Mr. and Mrs. Harper chose Lyra a few months later. And they legally adopted her when she was six. Apparently, neither family knew their daughter had a twin.

“You already know my story so I won’t bore you with the details. Anyway, one night after a show I was in the restroom and Lyra appeared in the mirror beside me. Both of us were shocked. Obviously, we were too young to remember one another. It was so surreal to look at someone and see yourself staring back. We went for coffee and talked until the sun came up that morning. After that, there was no doubt in our minds that we were sisters. So we agreed to go for a blood test just to have proof. I’m sorry I never told you about her, Ryker. I don’t know why I was afraid to tell you, but I was.

“Not long after we found out we were twins, Mrs. Harper called and wanted to interview me after a show. Lyra and I thought it would be fun to play a trick on her and pretend to be me. So I coached her on every question I thought her mom would ask me. And when the night finally arrived, we changed into each other’s clothes, swapped purses and off she went. All I can remember is watching her cross the street with a cat-ate-the-canary-grin, like she pulled it off. Then a car came barreling out of nowhere and that’s the last thing I remembered until today…”

Chapter Thirty-Two

August

Ryker

I was hoping when Bella and I returned from New York that everything would be different. Unfortunately, my source turned out to be a dead end and I’ve had several conversations with Mrs. Harper to no avail. So, it’s time for me to pull out the big guns. She won’t like it but I really don’t give a shit. I’m meeting with her tomorrow morning at ten. It’s time for me to show my hand and time for her to fold.

Sadly, Bella’s been pretending like nothing’s changed. She continues to go to work every day and comes home to me at night. And more often than not, we skip dinner and feast on one another. We have a lot of years to make up for and I’m only too happy to oblige. But it’s taking a toll on her whether she wants to admit it or not. And I know after seeing her ballet shoes, she’s desperate to start dancing again. Not professionally, but for her own peace of mind. It might be impossible for us to let the world know she’s still alive, but the Harpers have a right to know their daughter’s dead.

Cody’s so used to our comings and goings by now, she doesn’t even stir when Bella comes crashing through the door. “This has been the day from hell and it just keeps getting worse!” I’m motionless as she storms into the living room and throws her phone on the couch.

“Bad day, precious?” Had she still been clutching her phone, I would have never asked her that question. But seeing it tits up on the sofa, I have no fear. Unfortunately, I forget about her purse as it comes sailing through the air. Aimed straight for my face. Hey, I know firsthand how much shit she carries in there, so I duck. Phew, just in the nick of time. Until I foolishly stand up only to be hit in the chest by one of her three-inch heels. “What the fuck has you all riled up, woman?”

“Well, for starters, I spilled my coffee all over my favorite skirt on my way to work…”

“Did you burn yourself…?” Immediately, her hand goes up.

“No. Now please let me finish. It gets better. Then Mrs. Harper, my mother, calls me and insists we get together for lunch tomorrow. She’ll be in town and would like to see her daughter. I don’t know if I can pull it off, Ryker. Over the phone, yes. In person, I’m thinking no. I really did try to get out of it but she wouldn’t hear of it. All I could think of at that point in time was, it comes in threes. Something else is bound to happen and sure enough, it did. Gage is coming home this weekend because he really misses me. How does that grab ya?”

Like a vice grip straight to my balls. But if I play my cards right, his homecoming just might work in my favor. “Bella, you knew you were going to have to tell him sooner or later. It was inevitable. I’ll be right by your side when you tell him and…”

“The hell you will, Ryker. This is something I have to do on my own. As much as I appreciate your support it wouldn’t be fair to Gage if we both attacked him at the same time. No, I’ll go next door before he arrives. It’s time for me to tell him the truth so we can all move on.”

This could get ugly but I’m not going to interfere. If Bella feels like she can handle him all by herself, then so be it. There’s a difference between letting her think she’s on her own and her actually being on her own. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. And I will be breathing down his neck without him even knowing I’m there. “If you don’t want me there, precious, then I won’t be. There’s no doubt in my mind that you can handle him. In fact, I’m quite sure a twelve-year-old could do the job.”

“Stop being facetious, Ryker. Gage is a good man. Any woman would be more than willing to stand in a long line for his attention.”

“Well, I suppose he’d have to be if he captured yours. And as far as I’m concerned, we’ll all be better off once this whole charade is over and done. That way we’re free to move on with our lives. Now I’d really like to make the last part of your day much better than the first. Come with me, precious.”

“I appreciate you wanting to help but I don’t want to go out, Ryker. I’m anxious and tired and I just know the lunch with Mrs. Harper tomorrow will be a disaster. I need time to think about what I’m going to tell Gage…” I silence that beautiful mouth with mine. Because my name or God’s is the only one I want to hear her screaming right about now. I’m tired of his name being a topic of conversation, and after this weekend, I don’t want to ever hear it again.

“We’re not going out, Bell. Because the things I want to do to you would get us arrested if we were out in public. So, first thing’s first. I want you to run yourself a hot bath, while I get us each a glass of wine. Then I will top it all off by giving you a full body massage. I don’t want you focusing on anyone but me. Understood?”

“Perfectly,” she whispers against my lips.

“Good. I’ll get us each a glass and meet you in the bathroom. Get undressed. The only thing I want to see you wearing is a smile. Got it?” And when she does, my heart stutters. So beautiful. Someday soon, I hope it will be a permanent fixture on her precious face. One more touch of her lips against mine and then she saunters down the hallway. Just thinking about what I’m going to do to her has my cock throbbing in my jeans.

When I step inside the bathroom and see her chin deep in the tub, I groan. Bella’s enveloped in the rich scent of apples lingering in the air. Warm apple pie is the only thing I can think of and I suddenly can’t wait to taste her. Mmm.

“Care to join me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Luckily, the Andersons have a Jacuzzi tub which accommodates the both of us. Oh, don’t you worry. We’ve tried this several times before and we were more than pleased with the results.

I hand her our glasses so I can get undressed. Then I slowly slide in behind her so I don’t disturb the water. Been there, done that. Once I’ve situated myself, she leans back and hands me my glass. One long pull of its plummy tartness has me fucking hard and ready to play. So I twist my hand in her thick mane and give it a little tug. Eliciting a small moan from Bell and exposing her sleek neck for me to devour. Tipping the glass, I trickle a few drops of the fruity wine onto her neck. And dive in for a taste. My tongue flicks over her pulse while my mouth sucks up every last drop. Her sweet skin mingling with the underlying tartness of the wine is a heady combination. And if what I have planned for her tonight doesn’t take her mind off of Mrs. Harper and Gage, nothing ever will…

Bella

Ryker’s hungry mouth on my neck tugs on that direct line to my aching clit. Making it throb and pulse to its very own heartbeat. And when his hand slowly glides down my chest and begins toying with my rigid nipple, I come undone. Almost dropping the glass clutched in my hand. “Mmm, maybe drinking wine in the tub wasn’t such a good idea, Ry.” My glass is still full but his has to be almost empty by now. No sooner do I say it when I feel the rest of his wine spill down my neck and chest.

“The faster you drink, precious, the sooner we play.” I can’t speak as his tongue flicks across my shoulder blades. How does he expect me to drink when all I can feel is him? Everywhere. His cock’s thick and hard against my back and his mouth and hands are playing me like a violin. I’m throbbing and wet and it sure as hell isn’t from the bath water. When he pauses in his ministrations, I take a tentative sip of wine. “Our bath will be cold by the time you’re finished, Bella. While your husband is hotter than a firecracker, ready to blow at any second.”

When I feel him shift, I automatically sit up. But when he pulls himself up and steps out of the bath, I’m confused. Until he grabs the wine glass out of my hand, finishes it in one big gulp, and then sets our glasses on the vanity. I desperately bite the side of my cheek just to stop the smirk that wants to break free. Is someone in a hurry?

“Good God, woman! I wanted you to relax but I’m not getting any younger.” Without delay, he pulls my legs out of the water and begins lapping and licking me all over until I’m delirious and panting.

“Ryker, I want you inside me.”

“Soon, precious.” His hot breath tastes of sin and wine all twisted together. And when he grabs my hair, I get lost. In him. “I’m going to wash away your stress. Fuck you until you forget your own name. Only then will I give you a full body massage, so you’ll fall into a deep and restful sleep.”

“Mmm, what are you waiting for,” I manage to whisper in between his passionate kisses. Immediately, his talented hands are lathered and washing me from head to toe. They feel so good on my skin that I’ve forgotten all about my loofah. I just sit back and enjoy Ryker’s labor of love.

“Sit, Bella. So I can wash your hair and rinse you off.” I can’t even put into words how wonderful it feels to have his hands gliding through my hair. He’s gentle, yet rough and thorough. It kinda reminds me of the way he fucks me, yet makes love to me at the same time. My neck’s resting in the crook of his arm as he washes out all traces of the shampoo. And once he’s finished, he slides me beneath the water to rinse all the soap off of my body.

“There, precious. Now you’re squeaky clean and good enough to eat,” he whispers. Shivers course through my body as I wrap up in a towel. While Ryker’s fingers gently comb through my hair. His chest is pressed firmly against my back when he leans down and begins sucking on my neck. My clit has a mind of its own as it strives for his attention. Aching for his touch. “Lie down on the bed, Bella. I want you wet and waiting by the time I step out of the shower.” I love the way his hand holds my jaw firmly in place as he dives in for one last kiss. Oh, he needn’t worry. I’ve been wet from the very beginning.

After I sneak a peek at his perfect ass, I walk into the bedroom. Turn down the covers and throw my towel on the floor. And lie across the bed so my head is dangling off the edge. I’m feeling wicked and naughty and I want my husband’s cock in my mouth. I want to flick his apa with my tongue and suck until I can taste pre-cum. I know if I deep-throat him in this position he will bury his face between my legs. And I love the way he washes me with his mouth. Lapping and licking until I come all over his face. Hell! Where is he?

“Precious, are you sure this is what you want?”

Ryker still looks sexy upside down as I watch him swagger into the room. Naked as the day he was born. With his magnificent cock standing at attention. His apa glistening at the tip. Hmm, from the shower or his arousal? “Yes, Ryker. I’m one-hundred percent positive. I want you fucking my mouth.” He growls before guiding his thick hard cock into my gaping mouth. While I wrap my arms around his muscular thighs. Holding on for dear life.

“That’s it, baby. Oh, fuck! Your lips feel so good wrapped around my cock. Yes, do that thing with your throat.” I take as much of him as I can and swallow. Ryker loves the way my throat tightens around him like my greedy pussy. And just when I start getting dizzy from lack of oxygen, he pulls back. And buries his face between my thighs. It won’t take long before I come. Sucking him off always makes me horny.

I can feel all the blood rushing to my head as he fucks the back of my throat. While his tongue licks and laps at my sensitive clit. I’m almost there. I can feel my orgasm building, cresting to the point of no return. Until he slides two long fingers into my tight wet heat and sends me soaring over the edge. I begin to gasp and choke before he quickly pulls out of my mouth. “Yes, oh god, Ryker! Don’t stop…” His mouth’s still working my clit while his fingers thrust inside of me. It reminds me of a wave crashing against the shore. Only to be pulled back out to sea by the undertow. Rise and fall. Push and pull. And then I’m washed upon the shore. Gasping for air. While a man with eyes the color of the sky looks down at me.

“Bella. Are you okay?” Okay? Oh, I’m more than okay.

“I-I’m fine. In fact, I’ve never been better.”

“That’s good to hear but you need to sit up. Slowly, or you’ll get real dizzy.”

Oh, yeah. I see what he means. Now all the blood that rushed to my head is slowly making its way back where it belongs. Making me feel all warm and prickly. It reminds me of how I feel when I’m drunk. Weird.

I moan when Ryker’s hands begin kneading my flesh. Firm and strong but gentle and loving. He’s giving me my massage so I’ll fall asleep. It’s not fair. “I don’t want to sleep. I want you to come.”

“I’m fine, precious. Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

“No, no, no. You just gave me one of the most amazing orgasms I’ve ever had. Now it’s your turn.”

“Bella, I’m fine. Really.”

I won’t take no for an answer. So I lie on the bed and spread myself wide. “I want you to fuck me senseless like you told me you would. Hard and fast, Mr. Steel. I won’t break.” In a heartbeat he’s between my thighs.

“How can I resist being inside your naughty pussy, Bell? If you want my hard cock, here it is.” In one thrust he slams into me. Pulls out and slams into me. Over and over. Again and again. Circling his hips just to grind into me once more. His apa is hitting every one of my sweet spots. Some I never knew even existed until today. “Fuck, you’re so wet and tight, baby.”

“Come for me, Ryker. I want to feel you explode inside of me.” His eyes are wild and predatory as I grab his face with my hands. I want to fuck his mouth with my tongue like his hard cock’s fucking my pussy. When Ryker moans into my mouth, I wrap my legs around his hips. Lock my ankles and don’t let go. My spine tingles, my heart rate speeds up and I know he’s close when he begins to thicken inside of me. I’m on the brink of another explosive orgasm when he wraps his arms around my shoulders and doesn’t let go. I know he won’t come until I do.

“I can go all night, precious. Can you?” It’s my turn to moan when his mouth closes over my rigid nipple. Making me come undone.

“I’m coming… fuck! Ryker, come with…” I lose all coherent thought when hot cum explodes inside of me. While his mouth comes crashing down on mine. Ryker and I ride out our orgasms together. Shuddering and trembling until my pussy’s milked him dry.

My clit’s still throbbing when Ryker rolls to his side and takes me along with him. Suddenly, I’m so sleepy that I don’t want to move. “I promised you a massage when I was done fucking you, Bella.” I smile, curl up into him and that’s the last thing I remember….

Chapter Thirty-Three

Ryker

After the night Bella and I had, I hate to wake her. But I need to meet Vega in her hotel room in less than an hour. Which means a few hours later, she’ll be having lunch with her ‘daughter.’ Unfortunately for Bella, she’ll have to face her ‘mother’s’ wrath after she’s dealt with me. But I’m not going to postpone this meeting just because Vega insisted on having lunch with her. Somehow, someway, I’ll have to make it up to her.

I’ve already dressed and showered. So, all I need to do is wake my wife and grab a coffee and I’m out the door. Hence, the reason I didn’t wake her first. Otherwise, we’d be tangled in the sheets and I’d be buried balls-deep inside of her again.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I gently use my fingertips to brush the hair away from her face. God, she looks so beautiful all tousled and thoroughly fucked at this hour of the morning. Call me conceited if you must, but I can’t help feeling proud that it was me who made her look this way.  Leaning down, I nibble on her bottom lip before kissing the tender spot. “Baby, I have to leave now or I’ll be late for my ten o’clock meeting.”

“Mmm, you smell good enough to eat.” I don’t fight it when she fists my shirt and pulls me close. Kissing and sucking on my neck like it’s breakfast. “Stay with me, Ry. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

Fucking A!

As tempting as her proposition sounds, I need to get this over with. Today. It’s time for me to play my hand and show Mrs. Harper who’s won. “I’d love to, baby. But I…”

“No, no, no, no, no! No ‘buts’, Ryker. Your wife wants to finish what she started last night. Let me go down on you.”

God, she’s just as insatiable as I am! I wouldn’t change a thing, but right now I really need to leave. “Bella, you can go down on me tonight. In fact, you can start tonight and continue every night thereafter. You won’t hear any complaints from me, I can assure you. But I need to leave, now. And you my love, need to get ready for lunch. Unless of course, you want to reek of sex when you meet Mrs. Harper.”

I can’t help chuckling when she huffs out a breath. “Fine! I’ll get ready, but tonight Mr. Steel, you’re mine.”

“With pleasure,” I mumble against her neck before getting up to leave. If I stay one second longer, I will put my hard-on to very good use.

Traffic is horrendous the closer I get into Danbury. You’d think I’d be used to it since I lived in New York, but Connecticut drivers are the worst. As soon as we can put all of this behind us, we will be moving back to our apartment. It can’t come soon enough for me.

The moment The Ethan Allen Hotel comes into view, I feel twitchy. This is it. The icing on the proverbial cake. Vega won’t be able to talk her way out of this one, no matter how hard she tries. She wanted to meet in a public place, but I wouldn’t hear of it. Her room is as good as it’s going to get. That way if our voices get a bit loud, they’ll think we’re having a fight. And they won’t be too far off the mark.

No one pays me any mind when I walk in and head for the elevators. Hey, I’m clean-cut and good-looking. Why would anyone stop me? I hit the ‘up’ button on the elevator and wait. When it opens, a young couple give me a friendly smile. After pressing the button for my floor, I shove my hands inside my pockets and wait. Since the hotel only has a few floors it doesn’t take long before they open again. And the young couple just so happen to be getting off of the same floor as me. Fucking lovely. But I do breathe a sigh of relief when they go in the opposite direction. Luckily, they’re in their room long before I even knock on Mrs. Harper’s door.

I’m not surprised when it immediately opens. There’s no doubt she wants to get this over with as badly as I do. “Mr. Steel, you’re late.”

Since I’ve forgotten my watch, she might be right. But I’m not going to apologize for getting caught in traffic. “Well, I’m here now. Ladies first.”

“If I remember correctly, you were the one who insisted on this meeting. Not me. So, by all means, Mr. Steel, the floor is yours.”

I was hoping that’s what she would say, but I didn’t want to appear too cocky. “If you insist.”

“Yes, I do. Please sit down and I’ll get us some Perrier.”

“If you don’t mind, Mrs. Harper, I prefer to stand.” I fold my arms across my chest and rock back and forth on my heels. I can tell she’s pissed off by my laid-back demeanor. And that’s exactly the reaction I was hoping for.

“Suit yourself,” she hisses before handing me the bottle. “So tell me why this meeting was so important.”

I purposefully wait until she’s seated on the sofa before I comment. “I think I’ve been rather patient with you. It’s been a little over two months since I’ve asked for your help and you continue to stall at every turn…”

“I’m not stalling. I…”

“Stop! I’m not going to listen to any more of your lies. I’ve told you once before that your ‘daughter’ Lyra, is my wife, Bella. And I have proof. You, on the other hand, do not. So, first let me start off by giving you my heartfelt condolences on the death of your daughter, Lyra. Now with that out of the way, I need your cooperation. Otherwise, I will go to the authorities and turn you in for the death of my wife.”

“That’s absurd! You just told me that Bella’s alive. So how could I possibly be responsible for her death?”

“I spent years believing the hit was put on my wife because I was an agent for the DEA. Guilt haunted me day and night for years because I believed it was my fault that she was dead. So, put yourself in my shoes when I found out the hit was intended for your daughter. Apparently, you pissed off the wrong people when you wrote an exposé on mob bosses in The New York Times. I believe you knew the hit was going to take place and that’s why you scheduled the interview with my wife. You were hoping they’d think Bella was your daughter and your nightmare would end.”

Bella

Mrs. Harper is thirty minutes late. As far as I’m concerned she’s a no-show. And that pisses me off. I didn’t want to be here to begin with and now she’s stood me up. I’ve made up my mind that, as soon as I finish my wine, I’m out of here. Wouldn’t you know my phone vibrates in my purse the minute I decided to leave? Thinking it’s her calling to let me know, I don’t bother looking at the number before answering. “Hello…”

“There’s been a change of plans, precious. I need you to meet me at The Ethan Allen Hotel in Danbury. Room 112. Can you do that for me, Bell?”

My heart plummets to my toes when I hear his voice. What the hell’s going on? “Ryker, please tell me you’re not with Mrs. Harper?”

“I need you here, Bella. Don’t ask questions and don’t second guess anything. It’s almost over, baby. I love you.”

I have to fight back the tears when I hear him say, ‘It’s almost over.’ God, I hope so. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. And Ry, I love you too.” When the call ends, I throw a twenty-dollar bill on the table and get the hell out of there as fast as my feet will carry me. All I want is for us to be able to put everything behind us and move forward.

Thirty-five minutes later I pull into the hotel parking lot. My heart’s thrumming and I can’t stop my hands from shaking. Why’s Ryker really here?

When I stand in front of room 112, I wonder how I came to be here. I don’t remember entering the hotel, the elevator ride, or anything else for that matter. I must have been so focused on my agenda that I blocked out everything and everyone around me. One thing I know for certain—I won’t be the same person going in as I am when I leave. I can feel it in my bones…

Everything around me fades to black as I knock on the door. A sense of fight or flight grabs ahold of me as I wait. And when my husband opens the door and I see his reassuring smile, it immediately puts me at ease. Instantly, his arm wraps around my waist. “Don’t look so frightened, Bell,” he whispers before his mouth possesses mine. With long, languid strokes of his tongue. Ryker’s kiss both calms and soothes me for what’s to come.

I jump when someone clears their throat. Mrs. Harper. I take a deep breath when the flat of Ryker’s palm guides me into the room. Where she’s stoically sitting on the sofa. The only tell-tale sign of her frazzled nerves are the clenching of her hands in her lap. I’ve known her long enough to know her weaknesses. And for some reason, Ryker makes her skittish as a cat.

“Mr. Steel has already informed me that you are not my daughter Lyra. That you are in fact his wife, Bella. Personally, I think he brainwashed you back at the cabin. And now you truly believe you’re his wife.”

She’s baiting me but I won’t even dignify that with an answer. “I’m sorry for your loss, Mrs. Harper. Lyra and I came to know one another out of sheer coincidence. And however brief it was, she spoke very highly of her parents. She loved you both dearly.” A guttural sob rips through her chest and takes me by surprise. The poor woman is grieving. I can’t just stand here and watch. When I try going to console her, Ryker grabs my arm and shakes his head. WTF!

“If you only knew what she’s done, you wouldn’t be so easy to comfort her. Trust me, Bella.”

“He’s right,” Mrs. Harper mutters through her pain. Ryker and I both stand silent as she tries to compose herself. Almost as quickly as her tears started, they stop. Either she’s a strong woman or a great actress. “I take full responsibility for my daughter’s death and for the anguish I put you both through. If I had gone with my gut instinct the day the police found you, we wouldn’t be here today.”

“What is she talking about, Ryker?” He glances at me, then back at Mrs. Harper. Normally, he’s not one to ask for permission if he’s hell bent on doing something nuts, but today he looks hesitant. Why?

He grabs my hand and leads me over to the loveseat. “You better sit down, Bella. This won’t be pleasant to hear.”

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…

Inhale, exhale…

I watch Ryker pinch the bridge of his nose and my heart slams against my ribs. He’s hesitant and that’s not good. When his eyes finally land on mine, they’re filled with utter sadness. I’ve no doubt he’s trying to find the right words and it’s killing him to have to be the one to tell me. “Vega wrote an article for the New York Times which pissed off a few mob bosses. Shortly thereafter, she received an anonymous letter. They demanded that she revoke the article, or they were going to kill Lyra. She called their bluff, never intending to revoke the article which would have ruined her career. But she did have an ace up her sleeve. You…”

Silence fills the room as Ryker lets me reflect on this bit of information. My mind’s spinning and my heart’s shattered as I put all of the pieces together. Just like a jigsaw puzzle I had when I was a child. Only this one doesn’t depict horses and rainbows. It represents scheming and malice at its very finest. Bringing new meaning to the phrase ‘a life for a life’. Mine for Lyra’s. But fate dealt Lyra a cruel blow when she and I decided to pull a prank. For one night we would swap identities to see if our loved ones would know. Ryker was never given the opportunity, but Mrs. Harper was. If only she had recognized her daughter for who she really was, perhaps she’d still be alive today. I shudder when I think it would be me lying in that cold grave.

“Bella, are you all right?” I hadn’t realized Ryker had sat down next to me. Until his hand brushes the hair away from my face.

“I’m fine. Really, I am.” I hope I came across as convincing because inside I’m a mess. I’m angry. So, so angry. That Mrs. Harper can sit there in her silence as if nothing has taken place. When she killed her own daughter. By proxy, but the outcome was the same nonetheless.

“There’s more, precious, but it can certainly wait if you’re not up to it.”

More? Bring it on, because nothing could be worse than this as far as I’m concerned. “I want you to tell me everything, Ryker. Don’t hold back to spare my feelings. Because when I leave this room today, we’re starting a new life together.”

Chapter Thirty-Four

Ryker

As much as I’d like to place all the blame on Vega, she’s not the only one who caused the domino effect. I might not have been the one to start it, but I’m sure as hell going to end it. Now. “If we’re being honest, then I need to come clean as well.” I try choosing my words as carefully as possible before continuing. “Gage did not go to Toronto on his own merit. I fabricated the position just to get him out of town. And as far away from you as possible. I desperately wanted you to remember me, Bella. So I had to pull out all of the stops and give it my best shot. And I succeeded.”

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Ten, nine, eight, seven…

“What the hell, Ryker! Seriously, is that all I am to you? A possession? Or better yet, a game that you’re not willing to lose? I’m your wife whom you vowed to love and cherish. God, sometimes you piss me off!” The next thing I know, she’s on her feet and standing in front of me. Jabbing her finger into my chest. “I was devastated when I thought I’d lost you, Ryker. I was broken. I’d never felt such pain. It was excruciating. Debilitating. I didn’t want to live without you!” Bella just verbalized the heartache I’d felt when I thought she had died. “I tried so hard to make it work with Gage when I came home. But the memory of you kept getting in the way. Damn you, Ryker! You sent away the only person who would have loved me unconditionally. What if your plan had backfired? What if I’d never remembered you? Did you want me to spend the rest of my life mourning you? Don’t you understand, I love you both!” Her words cut. Deeper than anything I’ve ever felt—except her death. I know she’s talking out of anger for what I did but it hurts nonetheless. She still loves the bastard! Now the thought of her being alone with him this weekend rips me apart.

She whimpers when I suddenly frame her face with my hands. Her eyes are tightly closed and tears drop like diamonds along her cheekbones. Breaking my heart. “Bella, don’t be upset. Your happiness will always be my number-one priority. So if you tell me right here and now that you want to be with him, I’ll walk away…”

“No! I want you, Ryker. But I can’t shut off my feelings like a damn faucet…”

Finally, Mrs. Harper speaks. “Well, I hate to break up this party but the only reason Gage was with you to begin with was because I paid him.” That bitch! When Vega informed me that she’d paid Gage to watch over Lyra, we had both agreed it was irrelevant. Now I want to wrap my hands around her throat and squeeze the fucking life right out of her…

“You paid him to stay with me? That’s a lie and you know it! Gage would never take a cent from you.”

I swipe my thumbs across Bella’s wet cheeks so her attention is focused on me. “I’m sorry, baby. But she has proof. Every single check she’s ever written has been deposited into his bank account.”

“Well, there ya go. Gage and I have a joint bank account. So I would’ve known if there was extra money in there.”

The last thing I want to do is hurt her. I didn’t want to believe it when Vega showed me the proof but it was all there in black and white. Gage in the bank depositing her checks. One monthly check every year since they met. Son of a bitch! “Bell, he has an account at a different bank in his name. I personally had it checked out. It’s legit.”

I know without a doubt she loves me, but when she crumbles I’m there to pick up the pieces. “Shh, I’ve got you, precious. I’m right here.” My wife wraps herself around me like a baby Koala clinging to its mother. I understand her grief. It’s not easy being betrayed by someone you love. Someone you trust.

Vega clears her throat, clearly bored. “Well, it was nice chatting with the both of you but I think I’ll be leaving now.”

“Sit down!” Bella jumps when I shout, but it can’t be helped. Vega and I are not finished. There’s a little matter we still need to discuss before I decide whether to call the police or not. She knows this, but chooses to ignore it while I console my wife…

“I think we’re quite finished. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to call the airline to see if I can get an earlier flight.”

Over my dead body. She’s not going anywhere until I say so. “Baby, I need to stop her before she leaves. So I need to put you down before it’s too late,” I whisper. The minute her butt hits the cushion she unwraps herself and curls up in the corner. Quickly, I place a gentle kiss to her brow before standing up to my full height. And in a few long strides my hand clamps on Vega’s wrist as she reaches for the door. Just in the nick of time. “We’re far from finished, Vega. And if you’d given me a minute to answer, I would have said I do mind. Now. Sit. Down!”

“Let go! You’re hurting me!”

“This is nothing compared to what I will do to you if you don’t comply.” I practically throw her in the chair before letting go of her wrist.

I’m so angry but not for the reason you might think. I’m livid because not once did she look at Bella to see how this is affecting her. The second she came to terms with Lyra’s death, she didn’t give a shit about the woman she supposedly thought was her daughter. “Now, I need you to answer one more question before I decide whether to call the police or not.”

“I’m not telling you anything, Mr. Steel. Unless my lawyer’s present.”

I choose to ignore her and ask her anyway. “So, if Lyra was the intended target, why didn’t Rodriguez finish what he’d started once he realized she wasn’t dead?”

Shock flits across her face at the mention of his name. Up until now, I made reference to the mob. Now, I’m naming names and I can see it’s making her uncomfortable. Good. Maybe this will be a lot easier than I thought. “Well, I don’t have all night.”

Bella, who’s been pensive until now, chooses this very moment to speak. “Tell him, ‘Mother.’ Or I’ll rip your tongue out with my bare hands.”

Whoa. Where the hell did this woman come from? And what has she done with my wife?

“Don’t you dare threaten me! Even if you lived to be a hundred, you’d never measure up to my daughter. You want the truth, Mr. Steel? Fine. When I told Rodriguez that the woman who was actually killed was Lyra’s twin and your wife, Bella Steel, his exact quote was, “Payback’s a bitch and it finally came back to bite him in the ass.” He knew Bella’s death would bring you to your knees. And you played right into his hands when you disappeared a few weeks later. The minute he found out you fell off the grid, he sent me a note stating he called off the hit. Would you care to see it, Mr. Steel? No? Too bad, because I’ve carried it with me every day since. So I’d have proof that no one could harm Lyra. And now that you know the truth, you need to let me go. A life for a life, Mr. Steel…”

Bella

All I’ve thought about since Mrs. Harper’s big reveal is one down and one to go. It was a bitter pill to swallow but now I need to move on. And now that I know she was paying Gage, I’ve got no qualms about what needs to be done. In fact, I’m looking forward to it when he comes home tomorrow. Then, as soon as I fulfill my notice at work, Ryker and I will be moving back to our New York apartment. Where we belong. Gage can take the house and shove it up his…

Saved by the bell, or in this case, my phone. Weird. Normally, Kennedy would shoot me a text but obviously she wants to talk. I’m not in the mood. “Hey, what’s up stranger?”

“Funny, Lyra. Ha-ha. I was just going to ask you the same thing. You do know the phone works both ways, right?”

I cringe when she calls me ‘Lyra’. Hence, the reason I’ve been avoiding her. She has no clue who I really am. Hell, up until a few weeks ago, neither did I. So how am I supposed to tell my best friend that I’m someone else? “You’re right, Kennedy. I’m sorry. But for whatever it’s worth, I haven’t been much fun to be around.”

“Aww, you miss Gage. Dammit! I know how much you hate being alone. I should have made an effort to be there for you.”

Oh, I’m far from lonely. Ryker keeps me more than entertained on any given night. Once I’ve told her the truth, I’ll introduce her to my husband. “No worries. I’ve just been working all kinds of crazy hours at work to keep myself occupied. So, when are we going to get together?”

“Funny you should ask. I know this is short notice, but I want to take you to The Spa this weekend. So I can spoil you rotten. My treat. Please don’t say no, Lyra. Or I’ll feel guilty as hell for not being in touch all these months.”

I cover the phone and take a minute to breathe a sigh of relief. “I can’t. Gage is coming home for a visit this weekend.”

“Sweeet! By Monday I’m sure you’ll be in a much better mood. Guaranteed. Getting laid will do that to ya. So why don’t we plan on the following weekend? I want to hear every dirty detail about how you spent the weekend in bed with that gorgeous man of yours. Deal?”

Crap on a cracker. Just wait until she finds out what gorgeous man I’ve been sharing my bed with. She’s going to flip the fuck out! “Deal. But if you think for one second I’m going to spill my guts, you’re dead wrong. I never kiss and tell.”

“How the hell can I live vicariously through you if you won’t give me all the dirty deats? Such a waste. Oh well, maybe I’ll keep the wine flowing and then hopefully you’ll spill your guts when you’re nice and drunk.”

“Not going to happen, Kennedy. So forget about it. Look, I gotta run. We’ll catch up next weekend.”

“Okay, girlfriend. I can’t wait to see your smiling face and get you drunk as a skunk. You can’t hate on me for trying. Bye-bye, love.” Phew! One phone call from Kennedy is like drinking coffee with two shots of expresso. She’s an adrenaline rush for sure.

A quick glance at my phone has me reeling. Dammit. Now I’m going to be late for work! After slamming the front door, I take the steps two at a time and make a mad dash around my car. I know traffic is going to be horrendous, so I really should call to tell them I’m going to be late….

“Lyra? Why are you visiting the Andersons so early in the morning? Are they all right?” That voice. Oh my god! It’s him! Gage is here already.

When our eyes meet, I’m breathless. Not angry like I have every right to be. How can I when he’s looking at me with such longing and love? Suddenly, I don’t believe a single word Mrs. Harper has uttered. Lies. All of them. They have to be. “Baby, come here.”

My mind’s screaming no, but my legs have a mind of their own as I meet him half-way. And then his arms are around me and his mouth is on mine and I’m lost. Lost because I know this is wrong and yet right because it’s what he would expect from me. But I know I have to end it when his erection presses up against my thigh. “God, I missed you so much. Let’s go inside so I can show you.”

That’s all it takes for me to wrench myself from his hold. “If you came home just for a piece of ass, then you better turn around and head back to Toronto. Right now, Gage.” Ugh, why do all men think with the wrong head? “I’m late for work so I need to go, now.”

“Lyra, wait! I’m sorry if I came across as a horny teenager. That wasn’t my intention. I just miss you so damn much. And that’s why I came home earlier so I could spend more time with you. My parents don’t even know I’m here. Take the day off. Please. For me?”

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi….

Ryker’s words from so long ago come back to haunt me. ‘Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.’

“Fine. Under one condition.” When he nods, I continue. “We need to have a serious talk and you have to hear me out. Promise?”

“I promise, Lyra. Anything, as long as we can spend some time together.” Cautiously, he walks towards me. Why do I still get that fluttering feeling in the pit of my stomach when he’s near? I’m a married women for fuck’s sake! His warm breath skates across my cheek when he envelops me in his arms. “Thank you, baby.” And when his lips capture mine, I’m glad Ryker’s out of town. It would have killed him if he had to witness this. By the time he comes home tomorrow, it’ll all be over.

“Gage, why don’t you go inside and I’ll meet you there after I call work.”

“Okay, baby. Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.” I breathe a sigh of relief when he opens the front door and disappears inside. This is surely going to be one of the hardest days of my life. And when I turn around to place my call, the day just gets worse. Ryker’s standing across the street, leaning against his car door. Watching me. And he’s none too happy. He’s defensive as he stands there with his arms folded across his chest. He’s ready to fight and I know exactly who he’s setting his sights on…

Chapter Thirty-Five

Gage

I know something’s wrong the minute I step inside the house. It doesn’t look like anyone’s lived here in months. And there’s no sign of Cody, anywhere. Which makes me even more suspicious. Lyra would never go anywhere without her. A thought has me reeling. Could she be living with the Andersons next door because she hates being here without me? No, more than likely it’s because she just doesn’t want to be here any longer. Why? This has always been her home. Our home.

I want to interrogate her the moment she walks through the door, but I can’t. Not when it’s so obvious how nervous she is. Something’s definitely off. “Lyra, where’s Cody?”

I can see the lie forming on her tongue, until she realizes there’s no escape. “Gage, so much has happened since you left that I don’t know where to begin.”

I hesitate only for a moment before going to her. “Why don’t you start from the beginning? It’s always worked for us before.” When she nods, I grab her hand and thread her fingers through mine. I relax when she gives me a gentle squeeze. Okay. So maybe this won’t be so bad after all. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation behind it.

We’re both silent once we are comfortable on the couch. It’s all too obvious she wants to keep her distance by the way she avoids eye contact. Whatever her reasoning is, I don’t point it out. I just patiently wait for her to begin. And wait. And wait….

“Gage, I’m not who you think I am.” She speaks so softly that, at first, I think I’ve heard her wrong. When I try to ask her to repeat herself she holds up her hand. “My name’s Bella Steel, not Lyra Harper.”

What. The. Fuck!

Where the hell’s this coming from? Then, as if in slow motion, all the pieces begin to fit. One by one they interlock with such precision that I can finally see the big picture. Ryker Steel. That name will haunt me until the day I die. Somehow he brainwashed her into believing she’s his wife.

“Lyra and I were twins, and we were separated when we were two years old. Both of us went to different foster homes. We met after a show and there was no doubt in our minds that we were sisters. We even went so far as to get a blood test. Anyway, we thought it would be fun to change roles, so she went to the interview with Mrs. Harper—”

“Lyra, stop. I’m not going to listen to one more word. This is ludicrous! Fuck! I know I promised you I’d never read your journals but I did. So I know for a fact that Jonathan Day is Ryker Steel. Which means he’s very much alive. So I have no idea why after all these months you’d believe…”

“You read my journals? I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, you’ve been taking money from Mrs. Harper since the day we met. Why, Gage? Have you been lying to me all along so you could continue to reap the benefits?!”

“Lyra…”

“Stop calling me Lyra. My name’s Bella! Haven’t you heard a damn word I’ve said?”

“Yes, I hear you loud and clear. But I don’t believe you. And yes, I took her money. Every red cent! But I swear, I was going to give it all back on our wedding day. I wanted to throw the check back in her face just to see if your father knew she was trying to pay me off.”

“So you are guilty, Gage. Just admit it. You took money from my so-called mother, read my journals and God knows what else.”

This reunion is not turning out the way I planned. I had planned to drop down on one knee and ask her to marry me. The ring’s burning a damn hole in my pocket as we speak. Instead, I’m clearly fighting a losing battle. Especially now that she thinks she’s this ‘Bella’ character. “The only thing I’m guilty of, baby, is loving you. Every damn minute of every damn day. The only reason I went to Toronto was so you could decide if I’m the one you want to spend your life with. Without interference. But, clearly, he got to you. And brainwashed you into believing you’re his wife!”

I’m caught off guard when someone grabs me from behind. One arm wraps around my neck, cutting off my air supply, while the other snakes around my torso. Holding me firmly in place. There’s no way I can move and by the way Lyra’s looking at me, I’m fucked. This guy knows his shit because I can’t even kick him with my feet.

“I could snap your neck without blinking an eye. But I won’t because you took care of her when I couldn’t. So consider yourself lucky. But make no mistake about it. She’s my wife and if you ever, ever touch her again, I’ll kill you…”

As soon as he lets go, I suck in some much needed air, spin around, and clock him in the fucking jaw. Fuck that hurts! But it was so worth it when it catches him off guard and he stumbles. This time, I’m ready for him when he comes charging at me. Suddenly Lyra screams, “Ryker, no! You’re even now, so let it go.”

I’m surprised when he stops in mid-stream. I never would have figured he’d be the type of man to give up control. But then I look into Lyra’s frightened eyes and I know firsthand. I would do anything for her and apparently so would he. Well, he wasn’t invited. So I think it’s time for him to leave. “I don’t remember inviting you into my home, Mr. Steel. I’d appreciate it if you left. Lyra and I have unfinished business.”

“You would be wise to remember that her name is Bella. And since she’s my wife, I’m not going anywhere….”

Lyra shakes her head. “Oh for fuck’s sake. Stop talking about me like I’m not in the room. Ryker, please leave. Gage and I need to finish what we started. I’ll be fine.”

I want to punch Steel again when he strides over to kiss her without a care. Rubbing it in my face. And it stings when she reciprocates. In a matter of minutes my world’s crashed down around me. There won’t be a proposal today, or any day for that matter. She’s his wife. And I want to wipe that smug look right off of his face when he casually states, “Don’t be long, precious. Remember, we have plans for tonight.”

We’re both quiet as the door closes behind him. And then I can feel her eyes burning a hole right through me. Why does it feel like I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to let go…

Bella

After everything that’s happened, I still love him. Even knowing that he’s read my journals, accepted money from Mrs. Harper, and god knows what else he’s been hiding. Gage was my hero. He kept me sane all those years ago, when I thought I was losing my mind. He was the first one to save me. I guess I never realized how much, up until a minute ago. So how am I supposed to just walk away? Forget he ever existed. I can’t. And I know I never will.

Slowly, I step toward him and when I get within his reach, he pulls me close. He’s holding me so tight, I can feel every beat of his heart. “Gage, I want you to know that this isn’t easy for me. You were there for me from the very beginning. I don’t know what I would have done without you. Keep the money…”

“Never! She was the one who insisted on paying me. So instead of arguing with her, I put it in the bank. I had every intention of giving it back to her. I swear.”

“I’m so sorry, Gage. If I hadn’t lost my memory when Lyra was killed…”

“We never would have met. And I don’t know how the hell my life would have turned out if it hadn’t been for you. I’m a better man for having known you. I wouldn’t change a damn thing.”

There’s so much I want to say but I’m afraid it would be like rubbing salt in an open wound. Yet, he needs to know how I feel. “I do love you Gage, and I don’t know how to stop.”

He blows out a breath, like the weight of the world just crashed onto his shoulders. At first, I don’t think he’ll answer and then when he does, he destroys me. “Then don’t. Because I know I’ll never stop loving you. You will always be the only one for me. That’s why I want you to have this.”

I’m desperately trying to hold back the tears when he pulls a little black box from his pocket. The minute I see it, I can’t hold them back any longer. They fall as fast and slick as rain on a cold winter’s day.

“Since I picked this out with you in mind, I want you to have it. You can wear it, pawn it, or just leave it in the box. If you ever find yourself thinking about me, take it out and know my love is with you. Always.”

Gage doesn’t open the box before placing it in the palm of my hand. I can feel the warmth of the ring radiating from within. And I know it’s his love trying to escape, but I can’t open it. Not now. I’m such a coward.  I just want to get lost in his embrace because I know when I let go, it will be forever. And I’m not quite ready yet. Calmly, I slip the box inside my pocket.

“I also want you to have the house. I’ll sign over the papers…”

“I can’t accept such an extravagant gift, Gage. This is your home. You designed it. And your father built it. No, you keep it.”

“Not without you. Your touch is in every room. And there are too many memories here. No, I’m going to put it on the market and take the permanent position they offered me in Toronto.”

“What about your family? They’ll be devastated if you take that job.”

“I’m only a phone call away…”

Was that really meant for me or his parents? I suppose I’ll never know. One thing I do know is I feel like I’m being torn apart. My husband’s waiting for me next door, yet I can’t let go of Gage. What’s wrong with me? Being in love with two men at the same time really sucks!

“You should go, Bella. I’m quite sure this would be considered touching.” My real name coming from his lips is surreal. Strange, even. But somehow I smile through my tears at the reference to Ryker’s threat. He’d kill Gage if he ever saw him touching me again.

“I’m not good with goodbyes,” I whisper. And then I close my eyes as tight as I can to stop the flow of tears.

“Good, because this isn’t goodbye. We have too much history for me to let you go forever. I hope your husband’s man enough to accept it because that’s just the way it’s going down.” Somehow, his words fill me with hope. I’d much rather have Gage as a friend than nothing at all. “Now get going before I change my mind…” His voice breaks as his arms quickly fall by his sides. Leaving me cold and unsteady.

I take two steps back and watch as he hangs his head. Defeated. But I can’t leave when I see the steady flow of tears trickling down his shirt. Gage shakes his head when I grab his face. “Don’t. Just go. Please…” I cut off his words with a kiss. I know it’s wrong. I’m a married woman. But I want him to feel how much he’s loved. How much he will always mean to me. My mouth slides over his as I wipe away his tears with my thumbs. I make sure to keep the kiss pure and innocent. Gentle and loving. But it soon becomes too much for us to endure. Gage is the first to pull away as he leans his head against mine. “If you don’t leave now, I won’t be responsible for what happens next.”

I nod, placing my hand against his chest. “You will always have my heart, Gage.”

I have to stifle back a sob when he places his hand over my heart. “And you will always have mine.” We both stand there for a couple of breaths. Feeling each other’s hearts beating under the palm of our hands.

I count. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi and then I walk away…

Chapter Thirty-Six

September

Ryker

Now that we’re back in New York, I feel like we’ve come full circle. And the best part about it is, Bella’s back with The New York City Ballet. She has a long way to go to get back what she lost, but she’s determined. And I’ve no doubt it will be sooner rather than later. She’s been working harder than ever!

My biggest concern about going back to our old way of life was retaliation. Now that I have her back, I want to keep her safe. I never realized until it was too late what kind of jeopardy I was putting her in. Unfortunately, when you work for the DEA you and your loved ones have a target on their backs. One fuck up and they’re dead. Hence, the reason I don’t work for them anymore. Cole wasn’t happy when I turned in my resignation, but he didn’t have a choice. Until I told him the real reason. Needless to say, he’s coming over this weekend to see his cousin for the first time in years.

For the most part, Bella and I have been keeping everything on the down low. Since there’s just a handful of people who know who she really is: Gage, the Harpers, Cole, and yours truly. Everyone realizes how critical it is to keep her true identity a secret. So when we are out and about in public, we call her Lyra. I hate it but we need to do it to keep her safe. There’s only one drawback. Kennedy. She’s adamant about seeing her soon. And we can’t keep postponing the inevitable. Bella wants to tell her the truth and I do not. It’s the first thing we haven’t agreed on since the cabin. Kennedy is loud, in-your-face bold and I don’t think she can keep a secret if her life depended on it. Bella thinks otherwise.

I’m deep in thought when the doorbell rings. Bella was supposed to take Cody to the vet to be groomed. I don’t know why she wouldn’t use her key. “Hang on, precious, I’m coming,” I shout as I open the door. I nearly hit the floor when my gaze locks with hers. Sonia, whom I haven’t seen since the day I left The Pleasure Palace, is standing there. Hands on her hips and looking as beautiful as ever. I’m so screwed. Bella’s due to come home any time.

“It seems I came just in the nick of time. I would love to watch you cum. For old time’s sake, of course.” She has the audacity to kiss my cheek before slinking into my apartment.

“Sonia, what the hell are you doing here?!”

“Would you believe me if I told you I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d drop by?”

“Not if I lived to be a thousand years old. Spill your guts or get the fuck out. Now! I’m not in the mood to play games…”

“Testy, testy. Actually, I’m here to make you an offer you can’t refuse.”

My blood runs cold when she quotes a line from a movie about the mob. Although, Rodriguez might not be as deadly as the Corleones, it still raises a red flag. And I won’t be coerced into doing something I’m not comfortable with. “What do you want, Sonia? I don’t have time to play games.”

“Did anyone ever tell you that marriage doesn’t agree with you…?”

She doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence when my hand suddenly wraps around her throat. While my thumb and forefinger press against her windpipe. Immediately, she struggles to pry off my hand. To no avail. Had we been in the bedroom with my hand wrapped around her throat, she’d be begging me to let her cum. But no one, not even my ex-lover, is qualified to belittle my marriage. Ever! “I loved you once, Sonia. For that reason, I’m going to let you go. Then you’ll have five minutes to explain to me why you’re here. After that, I never want to see you again. Understood?” My hands are shaking when I let her go. I’m not quite sure if it’s from the adrenaline rush or just plain fear.

I feel numb as I watch her struggle to breathe. Fuck! Maybe I squeezed her throat just a little too hard. I quickly grab her a bottle of water out of the fridge, twist off the cap and hand it to her. She takes a few tentative sips, then slaps me across the face. Her nails leave solid marks. I don’t have to look in a mirror to know she drew blood. I can feel it seeping out of my skin.

“Fuck you, Ryker! I’m here as your friend. Not your enemy. If you would have killed me, it would have been over. For you and your precious wife…”

“So help me god, Sonia. If you don’t tell me why you’re here in the next sixty seconds, I’ll put an end to yours right here and now!” If I weren’t so livid with her, I’d be turned on. Sometimes. I’m such a sick bastard.

I flinch when she reaches up to wipe the blood off my face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have slapped you, but you shouldn’t have tried to choke me. Come here, Ryker. Let me clean it for you.”

This feels all too familiar. I soon become uncomfortable. It’s like an itch that you just can’t reach and when you finally do it still itches. “I’ll clean while you talk. Your time’s almost up.” I walk away to get a towel. She doesn’t follow and somehow that appeases me.

“I’m here as your friend, Ryker. Not your enemy. Please don’t look at me like that. It’s true. I wanted to tell you in person. Not on the phone or with a text message. Do you trust me?”

Normally I have good instincts, but for some reason I’m blinded when it comes to this woman. I’ve no doubt it’s because she’s the only one who’s seen me at my very worst. “Yes, I do. I don’t have a fucking clue as to why, but I do. So put me out of my misery and tell me why you’re here.”

“I’m here to set you free. You can tell the world that your precious Bella’s alive and no one will touch a hair on her head. Or yours, for that matter. It’s over, Ryker. Done. Rodriguez will never bother you again. You have my word.”

Clearly, I must have misunderstood her. Or I was stupid enough to trust her. Rodriguez does not let anyone go. Ever. Now I’m wondering if she’s wearing a wire. Fuck! I’m such an idiot. Suddenly, everything turns black and I’m in a war zone. Everyone’s screaming and I can hear crying in the background. Someone’s pushing me away or pulling me in. I’m so disorientated, I have no idea where the fuck I am or what I’m doing. And then something cold smacks my face, followed by something prickly and warm. Cold, warm. Cold, warm. Once my eyes focus, I want to close them again. The sight before me is too painful to grasp. Sonia’s clothes have been literally ripped off of her body and Bella’s desperately trying to comfort her.

Bella

I’m not denying that Ryker can be intimidating at times, but he’s not a violent man. Today was the exception to the rule. I fear if I hadn’t come home in time to stop him, he would have done something to Sonia that he would have regretted for the rest of his life. Still, things don’t look so hot from my perspective, considering that her clothes are torn to shreds and he has scratches covering his arms and face. What the hell set him off?

“Bell, let me explain.”

“No! First things first, Ryker. I need to get her cleaned up and find something for her to wear.” I take a deep breath before casting a glance in his direction. He looks like a wild animal that’s been caught in a trap. Which causes my stomach to do a few somersaults. Perhaps once I get her alone, she’ll talk to me about what happened. And maybe that’s what he’s afraid of. “C’mon. Let’s get you cleaned up.” With one arm around her waist, Sonia lets me lead her into the bathroom.

She’s drop dead gorgeous and I suddenly feel like the ugly duckling in the room. Whereas I’m petite and fair, she’s curvaceous with flawless olive skin. With silky jet-black hair that teases her waist and eyes the color of indigo. She’s a goddess and I’m inadequate at best. I never thought I’d come face to face with my husband’s lover, but here she is. Sitting on the toilet in my bathroom while I clean her wounds that he inflicted. Well, I guess I’ll never know why Sonia came to our apartment unless I ask. Right? “Why are you here, Sonia?”

She looks stunned when I call her out. She must have thought he kept me in the dark about their affair. Ugh, that’s not the right word for what they did, but it’s the only one I can think of on such short notice. Oh, I got it. Illicit sexual relationship sounds much better. Yeah, I knew if I had time to think… Pay attention, Bella. She’s talking….

“… to share with the both of you that I wanted to tell you in person.”

Hell’s bells, I missed the first part. Backpedal. “Why did Ryker attack you then? Clearly, he was enraged if it took all of us to stop him.”

“After I told him the good news, he went blank. His eyes glazed over and then he accused me of wearing a wire. That’s when he started tearing off my clothes. I tried to stop him but I couldn’t. I’ve never been afraid of him, but today I was petrified. He’s not the same man I love.”

For now I can pretend she didn’t say that, but I won’t be able to ignore it forever. “Why don’t you finish cleaning up while I go find you something to wear?” Fuck! She just checked out my boobs and realized that nothing of mine will ever fit her curves. “I’m sure I can scrounge up one of Ryker’s shirts and a pair of sweats for you. How’s that?’

“I’d be most grateful, thank you.”

“‘K, I’ll be right back.”

As soon as I step outside the bathroom, I’m met with a steely gaze. Seriously? Is Ryker mad at me because I’m furious with him? He has a shit ton of explaining to do. “Not now, Ryker. Because if I open my mouth, I’ll regret every damn word.”

“Bella. Bella…”

“What!” I spin around so fast that I nearly collide into a brick wall. Ryker. And my heart melts just a tiny bit when I see what he’s holding. Clean clothes for Sonia. Suddenly, I hate the fact that she gets to wear something that smells so much like him. Just what I need to top off my day. I carefully take the clothes so as to avoid touching him. Because I know if I do, I’ll cave.

“Precious, please let me explain.” Oh dammit. He would use the one name that gets to me. Every time.

Slowly, our eyes catch and I’m horrified at what I’m seeing. His left eye is swollen shut and his face is covered in welts. Sonia might not have been able to stop him, but she tried like hell. “Ryker, you need to have your eye examined. Your cornea could be scratched and if you don’t seek the proper care you could go blind.” When I reach out to touch his face, he flinches. He’s hurting, too. “Let me give her these and I’ll be right back.”

As soon as I knock on the door, it opens. “Here. These will have to do. We’ll be in the kitchen when you’re ready.” I don’t bother waiting for her answer, I just walk away.

I carve a path straight through the living room, grab Ryker’s hand, and pull him along with me. I’ve got to clean him up and get him to the ER. He needs to have that eye checked. “Sit, so I can clean your face.” He doesn’t protest as he takes a seat at the breakfast bar. Which is good because I won’t have to stand on my tiptoes to reach him.

I move through the kitchen on autopilot and grab everything I can find. Once I set everything down, I take a deep breath and face my husband. God knows what kind of germs were underneath that woman’s fingernails. “Look up, Ry.”

He takes in a ragged breath and does what he’s told. “Can I tell you what happened now?”

“Absolutely not. When Sonia’s finished in there, you can both tell me. Now, sit still.” My heart breaks when his hands land on my hips. He’s trying to pull me in but I won’t budge. He needs to know that I’m not all right with this and I haven’t forgiven him. Although, he does look ten times worse than Sonia. Just saying.

We both wince when the bathroom door opens. Ryker’s hands clench and unclench with apprehension. I’m trying so hard to quiet my nerves. But I know the exact moment Sonia enters the room, because there’s an audible gasp.

“Oh my god, Ryker. I’m so sorry…”

Everything happens so fast after that, I’m not sure who moved first. All I know is they are wrapped around each other. His hand cradles the back of her head as he tries to reassure her. Unfortunately, I can’t make out a word because she’s sobbing so damn loud. They almost look like two lovers trying to make amends and that just sends me into a tizzy. Now all I can think about is the two of them tangled up in the sheets together. Fucking, sucking, and making love until the wee hours of the morning. This must be how Ryker felt when he saw Gage and I in each other’s arms. Ugh, this is way too much for me to deal with so I decide to get the hell outta there. And then Ryker grabs me by the arm as I try to sneak by.

“Stay, Bell. Please. We’ll explain everything as soon as Sonia can compose herself.” I must look frantic so he pulls me in for a hug and leaves a tender kiss on my crown. I can’t help feeling like a third wheel, but I stay.

After several hushed minutes, Sonia finally speaks. “I’m sorry, Ryker. There was so much I wanted to tell you when you came to The Pleasure Palace, but I was sworn to secrecy. Rodriguez is my brother.”

Ryker jerks back, glaring at her. “What the fuck, Sonia. I told you everything. Everything! And all this time you were my enemy’s sister. Fuck! I can’t believe this.” Without thinking about his eye he scrubs his hands over his face. “Fuck…!”

“Hear me out. Please! I hadn’t seen him since he’d been arrested. But he called me last week and begged me to come. He had ‘something’ he wanted to discuss with me. An informant had told him that there was a woman working at the University Library that was seen with Ryker Steel. Who looked just like… ”

“Motherfucker! I knew this would happen. Bella, go pack your bags. We’re getting the hell out of here. Now!”

Mayhem ensues. Cody begins barking. And Ryker’s practically dragging me down the hallway, away from Sonia’s shrill cries. “No, Ryker! Stop. Stop! You’re free, I swear you’re both free. I told him you saved me. That you were the only man who cared about what was on the inside. You loved me for who I was and not because I spread my legs and gave good head. Please, you have to believe me…”

No wife ever wants to hear about another woman giving her husband head. But as soon as I realize what she said—we’re free—I stop dead in my tracks and turn around to face her. “What’s stopping him from changing his mind, Sonia?”

“He’d never do that. Carlos’s word is his bond. He wanted me to give you this.” Why am I not surprised when she pulls a folded envelope out of her bra? “My brother wants to thank you for saving me by giving you and Bella your lives back…”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Ryker

Thank fuck I was able to get ahold of Dr. Peterson to come check out my eye at the apartment. Because I don’t know how the hell I would have explained my injuries at the emergency room. The good doctor didn’t ask any questions and I didn’t volunteer any information. He was a true professional. He examined my eye, cleaned it with saline solution, and prescribed some drops for the irritation. There doesn’t appear to be any damage to the cornea, but he wants me to follow up with my optometrist in a few days. Since I’m sensitive to light, he suggested I wear a patch. Yeah, not happening.

I’m not going to lie, it’s a bitch trying to read with one eye. But I have a few minutes to kill before Cole shows up, so I’m going to read the letter. Again. This time, I’m hoping I can read between the lines. Because if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is…

September 7, 2015

Ryker,

Since I’m a man of few words, I will only say this once. Thank you for looking after my baby sister. Sonia’s informed me that if it hadn’t been for your compassion, she wouldn’t be with us today. And as her brother, it upsets me just knowing that I wasn’t there for her. That it took a patron at The Pleasure Palace to make her feel whole once again. Perhaps it was the simple act of fornication that brought the two of you together. In the end, it was two broken people finding solace in one another.

Since we’ve gotten all the sentimental bullshit out of the way, I want you to know that I’m still fucking pissed. I trusted you, Ryker, and you betrayed me. So I sat back, bided my time and waited. Planning my retaliation. Lucky for you, Mrs. Harper did something insanely stupid. Then all of my time and attention was focused on her innocent daughter. Unfortunately, we all know how that turned out. That being the reason why Joe is in Block C. One floor above me. Anyway, when news broke that it was indeed your wife Bella who was mistakenly killed, I felt victorious. And I used that information to my advantage. Do you see where I’m headed with this, Mr. Steel? Let me enlighten you. I sat back and patiently waited. Revenge does not have an expiration date. And when the time finally arrived, Hawk was in my back pocket. He was happy to play good cop bad cop. I instructed him to position the detour sign during the snowstorm. Then he caused Lyra to run off the road and waited until Cody found her before he left. My revenge came in the form of a dainty girl who was the spitting image of your dead wife. Brilliant, don’t you agree? Sonia has just informed me of the mix up which took place between Bella and Lyra. A joyous occasion for you turns out to be a tragedy for Mrs. Harper. Well, it was long overdue as far as I’m concerned.

Now, I’m easily getting sidetracked. So it’s time for me to reveal the reason for this letter. I, Carlos Rodriguez, give you my solemn oath that from this day forward all retaliation against Mr. and Mrs. Ryker Steel has been revoked. Everyone in my employ has been immediately informed of these changes and has ceased all surveillance. I give you my word that no harm will ever bestow you or your family, today or in the years to follow.

Carlos Rodriguez

It doesn’t matter how many times I read the letter, it’s yet to sink in. Sonia has assured me that it’s the real deal. But I’ve also learned a long time ago to keep my friends close and my enemies closer. So why should I believe we’re both free just because he says so? As much as I’d like to celebrate, I’ll wait until Cole takes a look at it. I’d like to get his opinion before I pop the cork. Bella’s nervous about seeing him again, but I assured her that he’s probably just as nervous. I can’t help chuckling when the doorbell rings because I can hear Bell swearing in the bedroom. “I’ll get it, precious.”

The moment I open the door, I wish I could slam it shut. But it’s too late. Kennedy’s standing there glaring at me. “Who the hell are you? And what the fuck are you doing in Lyra’s apartment?”

Oh, for fuck’s sake! First Sonia and now her! This is the last person I wanted to deal with today. But two can play this game. “Who the hell are you? And was she expecting you today?”

“Dude that would have spoiled the surprise. Who did you say you were again?”

“He didn’t, Kennedy. Why are you here?”

“Well, that’s a hell of a way to greet your best friend. Especially since we haven’t seen each other in ages. Maybe if you would have answered your damn phone and hadn’t cancelled our spa dates, I wouldn’t have just popped by.”

I’m sympathetic when she walks over to Bella and gives her a great big hug. Whispering in her ear just loud enough for me to hear. “Who the hell’s the hunk with the junk? And does Gage know you’re hanging with him? C’mon, spill your guts, baby girl.”

Poor precious, her eyes widen as she mouths, “Help me.” And for the life of me, I don’t know how. But I have to try something before Cole shows up. “My name is Ryker Steel, and you are?”

Kennedy slowly turns around and scrutinizes me. From head to toe. I’m quite sure she just pictured me naked and then eye-fucked me all at the same time. “Hmm, why does that name sound so familiar? Let me think.” I wait while she taps her pretty pink nails against her bottom lip. “I got it! You’re the dude who went into hiding after your wife was killed. Hey, Lyra looks just…”

“Kennedy, that’s enough!” It’s sweet the way Bella tries to defend me. But I don’t even get the chance to tell her, I’ve got this one.

“It’s true! You look just like his dead wife and that’s just wacked. OMG! Is he the reason why Gage and your mother won’t return any of my phone calls?”

“Don’t blame them, Kennedy. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have cancelled our spa weekends because it would have given me a chance to explain…”

“Don’t bother! If you’re living in New York and Gage is still in Toronto, I think it’s perfectly clear. You broke up with him so you could live with this assoholic! Can’t you see how twisted this scenario is? You look just like…”

“Enough!” Both girls jump when my voice reverberates around the room. Kennedy spins around to berate me but quickly changes her mind once she notices how angry I am. Bella’s eyes plead with me not to make a scene, but I’m so done with this. “Would you like me to remind you that you’re an uninvited guest in our home? Or the fact that you never called ahead to find out if we have plans? Which we do, by the way, so I think it’s time for you to leave.” I knew I should have slammed the door in her face while I had the chance. Since I didn’t, I stride over to the door, open it and wait.

“Ryker, please.” I can’t bear the look on Bella’s face. Fuck! “Let her stay. I’ll explain everything.” Of course, I give in. Bella has me wrapped around her little finger. Ten times over.

Just when I’m about to kick the door closed in exasperation, Cole pushes it wide open. Oh, this is going to be priceless. He looks right through me as he walks inside. “Isabella? I can’t believe it’s you.” I would’ve gladly pulled out my cell to take a picture of their happy reunion, but the look on Kennedy’s shocked face is unforgettable. So I take this moment to relish in it.

“Lyra, what in the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks is going on here?”

Perhaps I’m a killjoy but I can’t take this shit any longer. “She’s my wife, Kennedy. Lyra Harper was the one who died years ago, not Bella Steel.” I’m not going to sugar coat it. Or have Bell go through a lengthy detailed account of what happened. It is what it is. Right between the eyes and straight to the point. And it felt cathartic as the words easily rolled off my tongue.

Cole moves aside as soon as Kennedy steps into his peripheral vision. Bella looks at her best friend with so much regret, it breaks my heart. Now, it’s out in the open and she doesn’t have to hide anymore.

“I’m sorry, Kennedy. I didn’t know how to tell you your best friend was a fraud. A fake. My real name’s Isabella Steel. I’m a ballerina for the New York City Ballet. I’m Ryker’s wife and Cole’s cousin. And I’ll always be your best friend if you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Kennedy glowers at her and quickly states, “It doesn’t matter what your name is, chica. You’re still the same strongminded and stubborn woman I met that day at the hospital. And you’ll always be my BFF. You know I love ya, girl. Now, your husband is a different story. He’s a dipshit. Although, he looks like he’d be a badass in the sack. So you’ll have to give me all the dirty deats.”

Personally, I choose to ignore her altogether. I’m sure Kennedy must have some redeeming qualities if Bella loves her. I’ve yet to find them but it’s still early. “C’mon, Cole. Let’s go grab a beer. There’s something I’d like you to take a look at.”

Bella

When I see Kennedy check out Cole’s ass as they walk by, I smile. She’ll never change, but I wouldn’t have her any other way. “There’s so much testosterone in this room, I want to bathe in it. Wow, your cousin’s hot, Lyra. Ugh, I’m sorry. It’s going to take me awhile to get used to your name.”

“I know it’s a lot to absorb, so I get it. And I apologize for Ryker’s behavior…”

“Don’t, he thought you were dead. Shit! Now, I get why you cancelled our spa dates. But out of all the excuses I conjured up in my head, this one takes the cake. I’m shocked. So, how did you guys finally reconnect?”

“Well, Jonathan Day—the man who held me captive—turned out to be Ryker Steel. At the time, I had no idea he was my husband.”

“Get the fuck out! Subconsciously, you must’ve known who he was. Right?”

“No, not really. I definitely felt a connection between the both of us. But I thought it was because he saved my life. Then I thought that I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. Women have been known to fall in love with their captors. Anyway, Jonathan had long hair, black eyes and a beard. He didn’t resemble the handsome man you met today. I had no way of knowing.”

“Ouch, that really hurts, precious,” Ryker laughs. “But anonymity was exactly what I desired. Besides, there is something that Jonathan and I have in common. An apadravya.” My cheeks instantly heat when Ryker’s eyes fix on mine. Hell’s bells, of course he would bring that up. “Also, I thought I rather rocked the Goth look.”

“Oh, you know you look good no matter what. Stop fishing for a compliment.” I feel giddy when his lips brush lightly against mine. He’s reminding everyone that I belong to him. Quickly, I turn my attention towards my cousin. “Cole, did you have a chance to read…”

“Fuck me, you’re cock is pierced?” Kennedy just had to focus on that part of the conversation.

When Ryker’s attention suddenly turns towards Kennedy, he’s scowling. Here we go again. “If you know of somewhere else to put an apadravya, Kennedy, please let me know.”

“Duh, you’re so funny Ryker, I forgot to laugh. Did you do it to get into a college fraternity? Because I don’t know why anyone would put …”

“Actually, it was while I was stationed in Afghanistan. My team and I were hunkered down in the trenches with the apocalypse reigning down around us. Mind you, I’m not a religious man but I promised God if I ever survived, I’d get my cock pierced. At the time, it seemed like the bravest thing to do. As soon as I kissed American soil, I did it.”

Silence suddenly fills the room. I know for a fact that Cole was in the trenches with him. Everyone made the same promise that day, but Ryker was the only one who went through with it.

Then Cole picks up where we left off. “From what I can gather, Rodriguez has already revoked any plans he made for retaliation. He’s giving you his word that nothing will ever happen to you two. And that’s huge coming from him. Clearly, he’s doing this because of Sonia. And since Ryker played an important role in her life, he’s forgiven him for his betrayal. As far as I’m concerned it’s over, but I’ll keep a security detail around to ease Ryker’s mind.”

It takes me a minute to regroup, and then everything sinks in. “Security? Ryker, is there something we need to discuss in private?”

“Bella, let me handle it. I can assure you that it won’t be long before we pull the plug. After what happened last time, I’m not taking any chances. You’ll just have to trust me.”

“I do trust you, Ry. I just wish you’d told me sooner. Now I’m going to look over my shoulder every time I go outside.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you earlier, Bell. Just go about your daily routine and leave everything to me. Have I ever let you down?”

No, he hasn’t. Unless, of course, I count the time where he led me to believe he was dead. Or when he thought I’d be happier without him. And there was that time…

“Bella. I can see your wheels turning and I know what you’re thinking. Those were extenuating circumstances.”

“Hey, I’m starving. Let’s all go out to dinner. My treat.” See, Kennedy isn’t rude and abrasive all the time. She comes through in a pinch.

“Sounds great! What does everyone feel like? Italian, Chinese, or maybe we could try that new sushi restaurant that’s getting all those rave reviews.” I look at Cole, then Ryker—who’s giving me daggers! I’d guess it’s safe to say he doesn’t want to go anywhere with Kennedy.

“I could go for a scorpion bowl, so I vote Chinese.” Whew, thanks Cole. At least someone’s making an effort.

“Fine. Chinese it is.” I want to kiss Ryker senseless when he winks at me. He’s willing to put up with Kennedy, just for me. And believe me, she’s best in small doses.

“Clearly, you’re upset and I don’t like it.” We just walked in the front door and Ryker hasn’t let up since we left the restaurant. I blame the dinner debacle on too many scorpion bowls. “Bella, talk to me. Don’t shut me out.” I watch as he slides off his shoes and leaves them on the matt by the door. Like he’s done a million times before. Today, it just irritates me.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Ryker. So just drop it.”

“Are you still angry because I hadn’t told you about the security detail? For the life of me, I don’t know why you’re acting like a petulant child.”

Oh, he didn’t! “I’m going to bed.”

“No! We’re not going to bed, until you tell me why you’re so angry.”

“You’re a smart man, Ryker. Figure it out.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Bella. I’m smart but I’m not a mind reader…”

“Fine! I’m pissed because you didn’t tell me my father wanted to see me. Cole did. Were you ever going to? Or would you have ignored his request because you want me to believe you were protecting me? I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions, Mr. Steel. Oh, and while I’m on a roll, if Cole wants to see Kennedy then that’s his prerogative. You have no business trying to interfere. You were the one who acted like a petulant child when they stayed to have another drink. There! Now you know why I’m pissed. Are you happy now?”

“No, I’m not happy when you’re hurt or angry.” Ryker pinches the bridge of his nose. Then he holds out his hands in surrender. “I’ve already told you that Hawk was an informant for the drug cartel while working for the DEA. He’s looking at life in a federal prison, Bell. I’m not allowed to see him until after the trial and I don’t want you going there alone. I won’t apologize for wanting to protect you, precious. I’m your husband and that is my job. As for Cole, he’s a big boy. If he wants to fuck Kennedy then he’s on his own. I have all I can handle right here.”

Now I feel foolish. I let the scorpion bowls go to my head. He really does have my best interests at heart. And after everything Aaron “Hawk” Matthews put me through, he can wait a little longer to see his daughter. “Is this our first fight, Ry?”

Ryker doesn’t need to hear the words ‘I’m sorry’. He already knows I am just by the tone of my voice. I watch his lips quirk in a wicked grin as he saunters over. With fire in his eyes. His hungry mouth crashes into mine while his hands thread through my hair. Tugging. Until I can’t breathe and I’m about to faint. “Yes, I believe it was, precious,” he murmurs against my lips. “Now, we’re going to have one helluva night trying to kiss and make up.”

Hell’s Bells…

Epilogue

Three months later

Ryker

I’m probably just as nervous as she is. No. I take it back. Bella was calm, almost serene when we left the apartment. I, on the other hand, have become edgy and restless. That being the reason I’m pacing back and forth. I swear I’m wearing a path in the ornate marble floor of the lobby. And I’m tired of trying to make small talk with everyone who’s waiting to get into the theatre. The only reason I’m here early is because Bella had to arrive an hour ago so she could get ready for the show. Now I’m just impatiently waiting for everyone to arrive so we can all walk in together. Fucktard Cole was supposed to meet me here ten minutes ago. It’ll break Bella’s heart if her cousin isn’t here to see her perform.

We’re all sitting in Row A of the second ring. I don’t want to be level with the stage because I want to hover over her. Just like I do in the bedroom. I’ve even gone so far as to purchase every single ticket in the row so as not to have any late theater-goers stepping over us once it’s begun. I know it was a bit extravagant, but Bella’s worth every single cent. This is a once in a lifetime event and I don’t want anyone ruining it for us. At last count, there should be only six of us attending tonight’s show. Where the hell is everyone?

As I peruse the magnificent artwork of French artist JR, a hand lands on my shoulder. Cole. Thank fuck he’s here. Otherwise I’d be crawling out of my skin. To say I’m disappointed when I spin around would be an understatement. But I am because Mr. and Mrs. Harper are anxiously awaiting my greeting. I knew they were coming because Bell had warned me. It’s going to be awkward but I can do it for her sake. In fact, this is the first time I’ve seen Vega since I visited her in her hotel room. Precious and I decided not to press charges that day, we felt she had already paid the ultimate price. “Thank you both for coming. I know Bell will be pleased you were able to make it.”

“Well, thanks so much for inviting us. Nothing could have kept us away.” Ah, Mr. Harper just made it known that he’s here whether I approve or not. He was devastated when he found out that his daughter Lyra was dead. Which made him actually cling to Bella all the more. At first it made her uncomfortable, but she soon realized that he thought of her as his daughter. Soon, they were closer than they ever had been. It was Vega who had backed off and that was fine by me.

“I have four other guests attending tonight. As soon as they arrive we’ll go inside. Unless, of course you’d like to go ahead without me?” I’m hoping they do so I won’t have to make small talk.

“We don’t mind waiting. So, Ryker, did she cave and tell you about what song she’s chosen?”

“Absolutely not. Bella was adamant about keeping it a surprise. Why? Did she confide in you?” I would be hurt beyond words if she’d told Mr. Harper and not me. I’m her husband for fuck’s sake.

“Oh god no. I was hoping perhaps she’d slipped and told you what it was. Well, I suppose we’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?”

“Find out what?” Oh, even after all these months, Kennedy still hasn’t grown on me. I’m trying, I really am. Especially now that she and Cole are dating. What he sees in her, I have no clue. But he’s happy and that’s all that matters. Kennedy doesn’t waste any time playing catch up with the Harpers, which gives Cole a chance to make his escape.

“Is he coming, Ryker?”

Cole is referring to the sixth and final person to make up our party. Gage. He gave me his word that he’d be here but I have my doubts. “If he said he’d come then he’ll be here. We’ll give him five more minutes, then we’ll go inside.”

“No worries. We have plenty of time.” Cole stuffs his hands in his pockets and rocks back and forth on his heels. Yeah, he’s just as nervous as I am.

When Gage and Bella started communicating again, I was pissed. Strike that. I was livid. And then I was quick to remember that she chose me, not him. But when she’d needed my approval so she could invite him to the theatre on opening night, I just about lost it. Gage was never a part of her life while she was dancing. I was the one who dropped her off and picked her up every day. Carried her when she was so exhausted she couldn’t take another step. And rubbed her feet every single night before going to bed. It was brutal for me just knowing there was another man in her life. Because I’d never had to share Bella with anyone before. Until I lay awake one night and realized why she was working so hard to perform again. It wasn’t for me, Gage, or even herself. It was for all of the fans who used to come to the theatre to watch Bella Steel dance. The magic she wove while she was on stage was breathtaking. Only then did I understand that she was dancing for all of them. So, I conceded and here I am waiting for the ‘other’ man.

I impatiently pull the black cuff of my jacket back to check my watch. Two minutes and counting. “Sorry I’m late. I had a hard time finding a parking spot.” My head snaps up just in time to see my nemesis walking towards me. Looking handsome and well-dressed in his dark-grey Ralph Lauren. Fuck! It’s going to be a long night. Gage sticks out his hand and, reluctantly, I take it. His handshake is strong, firm, and confident.

It takes every ounce of willpower I have to look him square in the eye and say, “Glad you could make it. Let’s go inside.” I take in a deep breath and head toward the theatre. While Gage confidently greets Kennedy, Cole, and the Harpers. If looks could kill, Gage would be dead. Vega refused to take back the money she’d paid him over the years, so he donated it all to charity. I thought it was rather noble of him. Fuck! I thought once everyone arrived, I’d be less nervous. Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect.

Once we’re all seated, I sit back. Willing myself to calm the fuck down. You’d think that I was the one who was getting on that stage. I purposely chose a seat at the end and luckily no one decides to sit down next to me. Everyone is coupled, with the exception of Gage and me, and he chose to sit by himself also. This is one show I want to enjoy on my own.

All performances tonight are freestyle. Every soloist or pair has chosen their own songs and dances to perform. It’s the first of its kind. It’s the brainstorm of my beautiful wife Bella and the New York City Ballet. If all goes well, it will become a tradition. And since I have no idea when she’s supposed to perform, I’ll just kick back and enjoy the show.

About an hour in, the lights dim and a spotlight appears on my beautiful wife. Standing center stage. My heart swells to near bursting at the pride that fills me. And my vision blurs when the crowd gives her a standing ovation. Thunderous applause fills the theatre while everyone begins talking all at once. The roar of the crowd is deafening as my precious blows kisses and graciously curtsies. Bowing her head in respect.

Once the crowd has settled down, someone hands Bella a microphone. I sit on the edge of my seat with my arms over the railing, waiting with bated breath. While her lyrical voice fills the theatre.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. My name’s Bella Steel and I am honored to be here with all of you tonight.” At the mention of her name, the crowd goes wild once again. They begin clapping and stomping their feet. Bella waits patiently until the final audience member quiets down. “I can’t even begin to put into words how excited I am to be here tonight. Many of you may already know that I haven’t been around for years. But I won’t bore you with all of the details because, after all, you’re obviously here to see us dance.” More clapping ensues, but this time Bella’s able to continue speaking. “Although my time away has been a struggle, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. It’s made me the strong woman I am today. And if it hadn’t been for my memory lapse, I would have never met Kennedy and Gage, two very important people in my life. You both picked me up, brushed me off, and held my hand until I could walk on my own. I love you both to infinity and back.”

I’m so captivated with each and every word that I’m unaware of someone standing near me. “Mr. Steel. Could you please come with me?”

What the Fuck!

“It will have to wait. My wife is going…”

“Mrs. Steel is the one who asked me to come and get you. She’s requesting your presence on stage.”

Suddenly, all eyes are on me. I was so busy warding off the usher, I hadn’t realized that Bella stopped talking. One glance in her direction is all the proof I need—she’s waiting for me. And I nearly keel over when I hear her say, “Tonight, I’m dedicating my dance to a very special man. My husband, Ryker Steel.” Oh, she is so going to get a spanking when we get home because of this.

I can barely hear Bella now as we make our way down to the stage. I have no idea what she has up her sleeve but I’m not the performer. When the usher pulls back the curtain and steps aside, I see my beautiful wife holding out her hand. Well, I’d be a fool if I didn’t take advantage of this honor. As I stride towards her, I glimpse a chair off in the corner that wasn’t there a few moments ago. I think I get where she’s going with this. I am so going to punish her when this is over…

“Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband, Ryker Steel.” The crowd goes wild for the millionth time tonight. I have no idea why I warrant such applause when my wife is the talented one on this stage.   Well, if they want a show, I’ll give them one. I take her hand, bow and then leave a tender kiss on her fingertips. “You’re such the charmer,” she whispers.

We slowly walk to the chair but before I sit, I capture her face and savor her lips in front of a sold out crowd. They taste triumphant! “Break a leg, precious,” I whisper against her mouth.

With a deep breath, she nods and walks towards her mark. Just when I think she’s about to cue the music, she speaks. “I wouldn’t be standing here tonight if it weren’t for the man sitting there.” Bella’s gaze locks on mine as she glances over her shoulder. My chest constricts when I feel prickling behind my eyes. I’m so fucked. “Tonight will be the first time I dance contemporary in front of an audience. And the song I’ve chosen is one we danced to several months ago. Sadly at the time, I didn’t remember this man was my husband. But I always knew there was a strong connection between the two of us. It was only months later that I came to understand what that bond was. It came in the form of a note inside of our dog Cody’s collar. It said, ‘Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.’ “Ryker was my voice when I couldn’t speak. He was my reflection when I didn’t have one. He didn’t forget when I couldn’t remember…” Promptly, an usher takes the microphone from her hand.

When Bella graciously bows her head, Remember Me by Chris Mann fills the theatre. Chills break out along my skin as she gracefully flutters about the stage. She reminds me of a beautiful butterfly who’s just broken free from her cocoon. It’s emotional, expressive and breathtaking to watch. When she reaches out to touch me but quickly pulls away, my heart skips a beat. Bella’s cutting herself open and baring her soul to each and every one of us. A beautiful heart bleeding at our feet with every powerful beat. Every fluid motion reveals the struggles she’s gone through to get to this moment. The subtle hand across her lips. A gut-wrenching leap in the air. Or the way she grabs a fistful of hair in frustration. All leading up to a climactic end. When she stands center stage, eyes locked on mine, and reaches out her hand, I know it’s the moment when she truly knew I was her husband. It’s so damn powerful and raw that I let go. For me. For Bell. For everyone who’s ever felt this kind of pain. The kind that knows no boundaries. No limits. A grief so intense it splits you in two. We both went on living without one another, yet we didn’t live. We existed. Fortunately for us, we have a second chance. For many others, there are no do-overs. So I weep for them. For the ones who are lost and will never be found.

I don’t hesitate. In three long strides, her hand’s in mine. All I see is her. My wife. Bella Steel. The crowd no longer exists. It’s just the two of us. I’m so damn proud of her. All I want to do is kiss her senseless but tonight’s her night to shine. I spin her around to face the crowd so she can see all of the roses they’ve thrown at her feet. She curtsies, stands straight, and blows the crowd kisses. Never once letting go of my hand. It’s in this very moment that I realize what my career path is going to be. I’m going to find as many of those lost souls I can and bring them home. Where they belong.

Once the crowd quiets down enough for Bell to speak, she turns to me. “Thank you for saving me, Ry. For never giving up. But most importantly, for always loving me.”

I capture her face in my hands, wipe away her tears and close my mouth over hers. Bella and I will always be a single soul inhabiting two bodies. For every breath she takes, my heart shall beat only for her…

Playlist

Rather Hate Than Hurt     by Hinder

Revival     by Fisher

Love Don’t Die     by The Fray

Unkiss Me     by Maroon 5

Runnin’     by Adam Lambert

Thinking Out Loud     by Ed Sheeran

Counting Stars     by One Republic

One     by Ed Sheeran

Photograph     by Ed Sheeran

It’s Always You     by Kris Allen

Raging Fire     by Phillip Phillips

Pieces     by Rob Thomas

My Heart is Open     by Maroon 5

In These Arms     by Bon Jovi

Remember Me     by Chris Mann

Other Books by Connie Lafortune

Because of You

For 21-year-old Hunter Davis, being a lifeguard on one of South Carolina's most popular beaches has its benefits. With his chiseled body, panty-dropping good looks, and penetrating blue eyes, he's every woman's dream and every father's nightmare. So why would he want to commit to one woman?

Love is not in his vocabulary.

For 18-year-old Riley Hamilton, it's just the opposite. Her father left when she was six years old, and her mother has been angry and bitter ever since. Riley finds solace in the thought that one day she will be worthy of someone's love. So when her father calls-out of the blue-asking her to move to South Carolina with a free ride to USC, how can she refuse?

When Hunter and Riley are suddenly thrown together, Hunter wonders if the demons from his past will come back to haunt him—or is the woman with the face of an angel the only one who can save him?

Because of You is a sensuous and powerful debut novel—a story of love, loss, and the tragedy of holding on to family secrets.

The Claiming of Callan

My name is Logan Black...

I've always known I was different, that something dark and twisted lurked just below the surface of my skin. Waiting, for her... Five years of passion and pleasure so intense, we begin and end together. Until one dark and rainy night, my life is forever changed...

A heartbeat, a breath, the blink of an eye, that’s how quickly your perfect life could cease to exist. In a few short weeks, everyone I love is slipping through my fingers... Now, how can I possibly choose between the woman who owns my heart, and a family that needs me?

Walking away is the most difficult thing I've ever done. I've convinced myself she’s better off without me, but the monster inside aches for her... Callan will always be the light to my darkness. A year has passed by and I still crave her touch, her body tangled with mine. Until one phone call changes everything. Now it’s time to claim what’s always been mine.

The Claiming of Callan is a passionate and compelling novel—a riveting story of love, heartache and one man’s struggle to live without regrets about decisions he cannot change.

Recommended for mature audiences only.

Table of Contents

Part One

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Part Two

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Part Three

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Epilogue

Playlist

Other Books by Connie Lafortune

Table of Contents

Part One

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Part Two

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Part Three

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Epilogue

Playlist

Other Books by Connie Lafortune