The Love Game (The Game, #1)

KINDLE EDITION

* * * * *

PUBLISHED BY:

Emma Hart on Kindle

The Love Game (The Game, #1)

Copyright © 2013 by Emma Hart

Thank you for purchasing this eBook. Please do not post or archive on other sites. A link to my official distributors would be preferred. Please keep this book in its complete original form with the exception of quotes used in reviews. No alteration of content is allowed.

Your support and respect for the property of this author is appreciated.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

New Adult Contemporary Romance - Intended for mature audiences 17+

Sexual situations, strong language and heavy subject matter are used throughout.

Also by Emma Hart:

New Adult Romance:

Never Forget (Memories, #1)

The Love Game (The Game, #1)

The Mauve Legacy Series

A Magical History – Book 1

Truth, Lies and Betrayal – Book 2

The Beginning Of The End – Book 3

Just A Pawn – Book 4

Prophecy – Book 5

Lily; The Witch Hunter – Books 1-4, Omnibus Edition

Coming Soon in 2013:

Unfulfilled – The Mauve Legacy Book 6

New Adult Romance:

Holding On (Memories, #1.5)

Always Remember, (Memories #2)

Playing For Keeps (The Game, #2)

Acknowledgements.

Darryl, my partner, for finally understanding and accepting my need to write like a crazy woman. Also, thank you for letting me buy the laptop. I'm not sure the work to play ratio is what you expected, but at least I do some work, and that's what matters.... Right? I love you.

Rachel Walter, my critique partner. I don't know if anyone loves caveman Braden quite as much as you do, and I love that you can't say his name without adding the caveman. He tells you to go to your room in that husky ol' voice of his. I'll leave that there this time. Loves ya.

Christina, Heather, Michele and Carey. Um, best betas ever. Thank you so, so much for going through and picking up all my British-isms. We had fun working some things out, that's for sure. I heart you, ladies.

Helen Boswell, my proofreader, for picking up all my grammar mistakes and silly things. Thank you for polishing it, tidying it, and making it publishable.

Jan Hart, for believing in me and running your very sharp eyes over the manuscript when all was said and done. The little things make a difference. I sure got lucky in the mother-in-law department, huh? :)

Kathalene Miller, my wonderful CP's mama. Your readers eyes looking the book over before publication make the world of difference to me. I appreciate every second you take from your days to read my work. Thank you, a thousand times.

I'm pretty sure I've missed someone out. Oh, wait. I have. * Skips to Dedication page *

Dedication.

Dani Morales.

I dedicate this book and everything in it to you. It's yours for every tweet, every post, and every word of encouragement you've ever given me. Also, for the Vegas info. I'm pretty sure I'd still be scouring Google without you....

Every girl needs a friend like you, every dreamer needs a believer like you, and every author needs a cheerleader like you. I count my lucky stars I met you and that I get to be the girl, the dreamer, and the author.

The Love Game (The Game #1)

Chapter One - Maddie

I hated him on sight.

I'm not a hateful person. In fact, I'm actually really friendly, but something about Braden Carter rubs me the wrong way, and has ever since I first saw him five weeks ago.

Maybe it's the arrogant, smug smile on his face when girls eye him admiringly, or maybe it's the undressing with his eyes thing he does to said girls. Maybe it's the bragging, the I-don't-give-a-crap attitude or the knowledge he can get any girl on campus. Or, rather, any girl in the state.

Maybe it's because I'm attracted to him when I most definitely do not want to be, combined with the fact he reminds me of everything I left at home in Brooklyn.

I shake those thoughts off and carry on looking around the room of the frat house as if he doesn't exist. It's hard to do - especially when he has three girls on his arm and other unmentionable body parts. Did I mention the guy is sinfully hot?

He has this messy, sun-kissed blonde hair with natural highlights that most girls would - and do - pay a fortune for. His eyes are so blue they're almost electric, and his skin is naturally tanned from the California sunshine. I'm sure I don't need to mention his perfectly lean, muscular body because, after all, this is California and surfing since you can walk is a requirement to life.

“Stop ogling him.” Kayleigh steps up next to me and nudges my shoulder.

“That's about as likely as me doing a striptease for the whole house,” I reply.

“Honey, I can name several guys that would not walk away from that.”

Kyle winks at me across the bar in the kitchen and I sigh. “They can keep dreaming. Never gonna happen, Kay.”

“Shame.” She grins at me. “I can't say I'd walk away either.”

I shake my head, but I'm smiling. Since the day Kay walked into our dorm room five weeks ago, she's been open about her sexuality. She's bisexual and doesn't care who knows. I respected her from the second we met. Her openness is refreshing to me.

“You're incorrigible,” I mock scold.

“Hey, if the shoe fits!” She winks and snaps her fingers towards Kyle. “Drinks, mofo!”

“Wait your turn, ya pain,” he replies, pouring two vodka shots and handing them to someone at the end of the bar.

“I bet he'd jump to it if it was you askin',” she whispers not so quietly.

“Now you're talkin', Kay!” Kyle turns and hits me with his thousand-watt smile. “Would you like a drink, gorgeous girl?”

“I'm fine, thank you.” I smile politely. “I'm sure Kay will take one, though.”

“Bull. Shit.” Kay leans forward and slaps a hand on the bar surface. “Four vodka shots, Kyle. Tonight I'm showing Miss Maddie how it's done.”

“Right on!” He turns and lines up four shot glasses.

“Kay,” I hiss. “You know I don't drink!”

“Didn't,” she corrects. “Didn't drink. You do now.”

“Kay.”

“Maddie,” she mimics my tone of voice and accepts the glasses Kyle slides to us. “One, two, bam. That's how we're doin' this, baby girl. No thinkin', no messin'. Down them both.”

“This is such a bad idea,” I mutter, picking up both glasses and peering at the strong smelling liquid. “If I vomit, you're cleaning it up.”

“Always.” She winks. “Ready? One, two, bam!”

Tip. Swallow. Tip. Swallow.

My throat burns as the alcohol slides down it, and I pat my chest as if that'll stop the red hot feeling. Kyle smirks at me.

“Thought you didn't drink?” he asks.

“I don't,” I reply, putting the glasses down.

“She's gonna be a hard one to crack.” Kay wipes her chin. “Sure you haven't ever drank before, Mads?”

I shrug one shoulder, the lie falling easily from my lips. “Obviously I've drunk alcohol, just not enough to get me drunk.”

“This changes tonight!” Kay bangs the counter again. “Kyle, six more shots.”

“Of?”

“Of whatever the fuck you wanna put in the glasses.”

“Make it twelve,” Lila says, sliding in next to me. “Three for me, three for Megan when she gets here.”

“Twelve? How many glasses do you girls think I have?” Kyle jokes and opens another cupboard. There's a shelf of shot glasses neatly lined up.

“I'd hate to be whoever cleans those tomorrow,” I say.

“Braden.” Kyle laughs. “I just get to serve them to your beautiful faces. Unlucky for him, but definitely lucky for me.” He leans forward and places three glasses in front of me with a smile that would melt any other girls heart. I raise an eyebrow and wait patiently as he hands everyone else their shots.

“Did I miss anything?” Megan shuffles between me and Lila, her blonde hair bobbing as she bounces excitedly. “Ooh, so many shots? What's the occasion?”

“Maddie's getting drunk!” Kay announces, lifting up the first glass.

“No way!” Megan tilts her face towards me. “For real?”

“Apparently,” I reply dryly.

“Aw shucks, Mads. It's fun!” She wiggles her body and Kyle's eyes move to her chest. Megan's very well-endowed in the boob department and likes to let the world know.

“No more talkin'!” Lila huffs, picking up a glass. “One, two, three, bam?”

“Yah, duh!” Kay laughs and picks up the second glass.

I take a deep breath and pick up two glasses. What the hell is wrong with me tonight? I don't drink, at least, not like this. I can't be out of control.

“Bam!” Kay shouts.

One. Two. Three. Fire.

Whee.

I blink a few times and swallow. “Holy sh-crap.”

“It's working,” Lila giggles. “Maddie doesn't swear, ever!”

“I didn't swear,” I protest. “Crap is not a swear word.”

“Fine, you almost swore.” She rolls her dark, kohl-lined eyes. “I will have one naughty word out of those pretty pink lips before the night is up!”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

“I'd like a few things out of those pretty pink lips,” Kyle comments, winking at me.

“Fuckin' pig!” Kay punches his arm over the bar.

“Jesus, Kay. Your fist made of fucking iron?” He rubs his arm.

“For you, Kyle honey, my fist can be whatever you want it to be.” She winks and stands up straight, grabbing my hand. “Come on, baby girl, we're goin' to shake our booties!”

I shoot Lila a 'help me!' look and tug on Megan's shirt.

“Woah, okay, I'm comin'!” She turns and drags Lila along too.

The front room is crowded. Music pumps from speakers and bodies grind in the middle of the floor. A couple is making out on the sofa and – oh my god. Nope, that's definitely gone past making out.

I look away and allow the girls to drag me into the writhing mass of people. The alcohol is spreading through my body, and I relax a little, knowing I'm done for the night on the alcohol side. No point pushing my luck.

Megan grabs one of my hands and urges me to dance, to let go. Crazy. That's what this is. Drinking and now dancing. These girls are ruining me.

“Lighten up, baby girl!” Kay shouts. “Mr Carter himself is watchin' your sexy little body!”

Fantastic. Just what I want – to be the next on his to-do list. The next on a very, very long list.

“He can keep looking,” I reply, seeing him watching from the corner of the room. “Looking is as close as he's gonna get.” I turn my back to him, and Lila shakes her dark hair out, moving towards me.

“Someone needs to take his ass down a peg or two,” she says. “Lord knows he hit every branch on the way down the beautiful tree, but he's sure perched at the top of the ego one.”

“Right,” Megan agrees. “But he's always been like that. That's just Braden.”

Megan and Braden both come from the same town and from what she's said, their parents are quite close so they grew up together. Besides us, she's about the only girl at the party that isn't falling at his feet.

“You know what?” Kay says. We glance over at him and another blonde is wrapped around him.

“What?” I say and turn away from him with a look of disgust on my face.

“That boy needs to know what it's like to do what he does. What it's like to be humped and dumped.”

All eyes turn to me. I shake my head, stepping back. “Oh, no. No, no, no way!” I turn and leave the room, pushing my way through the kitchen to the yard, all three girls on my heels.

“Mads, it'll be fun!” Lila takes my hands and bounces. “Come on!”

“Um.” Megan looks at the house then at me. “I guess it wouldn't hurt.”

“No.” I shake my head again.

“You only have to hump him once,” Kay reasons. “Besides, he's not exactly bad to look at, is he? I could imagine smacking that ass.”

“Then you do it!”

“Oh, no.” Megan sighs. “She can't. Kay might be bi but everyone knows she prefers girls, so he won't go there. Lila has a boyfriend who happens to be his friend, and I grew up with him. He's like my brother or something. You're the only one that can do it.”

“I don't understand what we'll get out of this.” I look at each of them.

“Satisfaction of knowing the guy finally wanted what he couldn't have,” Kay shrugs. “Come on, Mads. It'll take two weeks, three, tops.”

“A month maybe,” Megan adds. “After that, he'll get bored and give in or he'll be in love with you. He's always watching you, Mads. Even in class when you think he isn't. And he refuses to talk about you to me, so I know he's attracted to you. Usually he gives me a play-by-play over his weekend conquests.”

“Plus Megs knows how his mind works,” Lila says. “So we have that advantage.”

“You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?” I sigh and rake my fingers through my hair.

“Nope.” Kay shakes her head.

“Oh, hell. I have a feeling I'm gonna regret this.”

“Maddie Stevens. Your mission, should you choose to accept it.” She grins and puts her hand out. Lila and Megan put theirs on top of hers. “Is to play the player at his own game. Do you accept?”

I inhale deeply, every bit of my mind screaming at me to say no and run. Play the player. The guy I hate because he embodies everything I wanted to leave behind when I left Brooklyn.

Instead of running, I place my hand on the pile in front of me. “Accepted.”

Chapter Two - Braden

I have no fucking idea who this chick is who's hanging onto my arm. I'm pretty sure I've never seen her in my life, but she's kinda hot with nice tits so I guess she can stay for a bit. She's not hot enough to bang though, so she won't be around for that long.

Blondie presses her lips against my ear, and I hide my cringe by looking around the frat house. My eyes find Maddie Stevens – Princess of University of California, Berkeley.

She's sitting at the bar with that bi girl. Shit, what's her name? Oh, never mind. Megan and Lila are sitting with her, and I watch as they knock back shot after shot of whatever it is Kyle is throwing down their throats tonight. She shakes out her auburn hair and the bi one drags her up.

My eyes sweep her body, and I'm vaguely aware Blondie is now sitting on my lap. Two hard globes press against my chest, and I know instantly she's got fake tits. They were way too good to be true.

Megan takes Maddie's hand, and she smiles, almost shyly. She starts to move to the beat of the music and fuck, there's nothing shy about that. She puts her free hand in her hair, looks at the floor and her hips move perfectly in time. She glances up through her eyelashes and smiles again, more confidence in it this time.

“She's so fucking hot,” Aston says, appearing next to me. Ryan steps up behind him.

“Maddie?” I ask, my eyes still on her moving body.

“Who's Maddie?” Blondie purrs. Fuck, she still here?

Maddie looks up, her bright green eyes taking in Blondie on me. Her lip twitches in disgust, and she turns away.

“No one you should worry about, babe.” I peel her off me. “Be a doll and get me a beer.”

She flutters eyelashes caked in mascara. “Of course.” She hops off of me and I pat her ass, turning my attention back to the guys.

“Who was that?” Ryan asks.

“Good question, dude.” I shrug. “Some chick.”

I catch sight of Maddie pushing her way through the crowd, Megan, Lila, and bisexual girl following her.

“Hey, reckon the girls would be pissed if I chased after her?” Aston asks, following her with his eyes.

“Megan would beat the shit out of you.” Ryan nudges him and leans against the arm of the sofa. “Lila and Kay, too, actually.”

Kay. That's the bisexual girl.

“Maddie would likely kick my ass, too,” I add, looking at them. “You'd need to get that girl down the aisle before she dropped her pants for you.”

“Marriage? Fuck that.” Aston shakes his head. “I'm too hot for that shit, dude.”

He isn't far off, at least not in the eyes of the girls here. He's never short of a quick one or two on a weekend.

“Marriage?” Ryan repeats. “Nah, you just gotta make the chick fall in love with you. Make her fall in love and bam, there it is. Piece of ass, and a hot one, too.”

I tilt my head slightly, studying them both. “She's like a fuckin' china doll, though. If you did it too hard, she'd break.”

“I'd break it,” Aston says. “Just without the love shit.”

“I reckon you could do it.” Ryan takes a swig of beer and glances at me.

“A week?” Aston taps his chin.

“Nah,” I say.

“A month,” Ryan says with finality. “She ain't gonna be easy to break, but she'll give it up in a month. You could do it, Braden.”

“Dude, you realize that's your girlfriend's friend? You're askin' me to get her to fall in love with me, fuck her, then dump her.” Not that I wouldn't mind a chance to fuck Maddie Stevens. In fact, I'd pay for that damn chance.

Ryan shrugs. “Like Lila will ever find out. This shit stays between us three. Braden Carter seducing a girl ain't exactly gonna be out of place, is it?”

“Do it.” Aston grins. “Make her fall in love with you. If anyone can, you can.”

“Dunno.” I lean back and look at the dance floor. She's back – all four of them are.

She's doing that hip thing again, swaying them from side to side. She shakes her hair out and laughs. Lila exaggerates a wink over to Ryan, and he smirks. Lila turns back and says something, making Maddie look over her shoulder. Her green eyes meet mine.I smile slowly, the smile that gets me anything. I wink. One side of her glossy pink mouth curls up, and she looks away again, her hair flicking with the movement of her head.

“Well?” Ryan nudges my head. “You gonna do it?”

“Challenge accepted, boys,” I say, resting my arms behind my head. “One month from now, Maddie Stevens will be in love with me and in my bed. You can count on that shit.”

Chapter Three - Maddie

I roll over, wincing at the light coming in through the curtains. How much did I drink last night? Too much, clearly.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Kay shouts and kicks the dorm room door shut.

“Nope, not over here.” I bury back under my covers.

“I have coffee and muffins!” She pulls the covers down and I groan, opening my eyes.

“Why? Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do I feel like I just got run over by a herd of wildebeest?”

“One, I have no idea what a wilder beast is, and two, it's called a hangover.” Kay holds out a Starbucks take-out cup and my favorite blueberry muffin.

I sit up and take them from her. “Thank you. Why are you not feeling this way?”

“I'm one of the lucky ones.” She snickers and chucks herself on her bed. “I don't get hangovers. You, however, do, it seems. Megs is the same. She'd usually be in bed all day.”

“Sounds good to me.” I take a sip of the coffee.

“But not today,” she sings. “Today we're getting down to business.”

“Down to business?”

She raises her eyebrows at me. “Do you remember our deal last night? Your mission, Ms. Bond?”

Ah. Play The Player. “I thought we were joking.”

“When have I ever joked about anything as serious as sex?”

“Fine, fine.” I give in and sigh. “What do you mean, down to business?”

“We need to draw up a plan of attack!” She crosses her legs, Indian-style, and bounces twice on the bed.

“A plan of attack,” I repeat dumbly.

“Uh, duh! You think we can go into this blind? Oh no, honey.” She shakes her head. “Braden Carter has got more charm than the Irish leprechauns-”

“Which don't exist.”

“And that means he's dangerous. You're trying to make him fall in love with you, yet if he lays it on thick you could end up falling in love with him.”

“There would be no hump and dump, which would defeat the object of Play The Player.” I sigh.

“Precisely!” She claps once. “So we need to figure out a fool-proof plan that ensures while he's losing his heart, you aren't losing yours. Because that would just be disastrous.”

“Kay, I don't know.” I sigh again. “Braden Carter doesn't fall in love. If he has a rulebook, that's it, right above the rule that says rules are for losers. I have a month to do this, right? I just don't know how it's possible.”

“Nothing is impossible if you believe in it enough.”

“But I don't know if I believe in it.”

“You will,” she says confidently. “You will.”

“I hope you're right,” I reply. “Because this is looking like a fail before it's even started.”

“Knock knock on your cock,” Lila opens the door and Megan follows her in, a large roll of paper and marker pens tucked under her arm.

“What is that?” I ask, taking it in.

“Operation Play The Player,” Megan answers, sitting on the floor between our beds. She unrolls the paper, uses two books to hold it flat and writes 'OPTP – Operation Play The Player' at the top of the sheet.

I shake my head in disbelief. Am I actually doing this? I was under the impression that college meant growing up, but I was wrong. I feel like I'm thirteen again and trying to trick my lifetime crush into admitting he's crushing on me too.

“Stop shakin' your head.” Lila jumps up on my bed next to me. “It's gonna be okay. You can do this.”

“You guys do realize that in terms of love and relationships, a month is short, right? And in terms of Braden Carter, a month is a lifetime?” I question. “Who says he won't get bored after a week and go and find one of his floozies to warm his bed?”

“You have to stop him from doing that,” Megan says softly. “You have to make him never want to leave your side. I give you a week to reel him in, get him interested, and then this is in the bag.”

“A week?”

“If you can get him to be by your side in a week, he'll fall in love in three,” she clarifies, uncapping a blue pen. “Stage one. Attachment.” She jots it down on the paper, giving me until next Sunday.

“Hold up, this isn't even starting until tomorrow!”

“Wrong.” Kay shakes her head.

Lila nods in agreement with Kay. “The guys are having a football game in the yard of the frat house later. We're all heading down there.”

I huff. “Fine. It starts tonight.”

Megan flashes me a grin, green pen in hand. “Stage two, next week, is Public Appreciation and Attachment.”

“Which translates to what, in my terms?” I frown.

“Hand holding, public kissing, exclusivity.”

I snort. “You guys have a hell of a lot of faith in me, you know.”

“Stage three, week three,” Kay continues. “Almost Sex and Public Knowledge Relationship.”

“Everyone will know?”

“Well, yeah.” Lila raises an eyebrow at me. “Humping and dumping will be so much more satisfying if everyone we know, and then some, knows.”

“It seems a little... Harsh.”

“You have to be cruel to be kind, baby girl,” Kay says.

“They're right,” Megan agrees without looking up from the paper. “I don't much like the idea of hurtin' him, but he needs to sort his head out. If he's this bad five weeks into college, I dread what he's gonna be like in two years. He needs to get a clear message and soon.”

“Why not just talk to him?” I try. “Why go to extreme measures?”

“Because Braden Carter only understands things in extremities.”

“Okay, so say this works.” I tap my finger against the bed. “And he does fall in love with me. I'll hump and dump him and then what? You know he won't leave it. He'll fight to get me back. What do I do then?”

Everyone stops, and Megan sits back, putting the end of the pen in her mouth. Kay tilts her head to the side, and Lila chews her thumbnail.

“I didn't think about that,” Megan says quietly. “If Bray has one thing going for him-”

“Besides the obvious?” Lila snickers.

“Besides the obvious.” Megan smirks. “It's that he goes after what he wants. Girls, I hate to say it, but Maddie has a point. If he falls in love with her and she walks away, he'll go bat shit crazy trying to get her back. He won't let her go easily. If at all.”

My eyes widen.

“But what if Maddie falls in love with him?” Lila asks. “What if she can't hump him and dump him?”

“Please.” I shake my head. “Braden embodies everything I hate. He's arrogant, egotistical, and a pig. I'm not likely to fall in love with that.”

“But he's also funny, really caring, and beneath his man slut exterior, he's the kind of guy you'd take home to meet your mom.” Megan sighs. “I know him, Mads. If he wants something he'll do whatever it takes.”

“So we remind her every day of why she hates him.” Kay shrugs.

“It might not be enough.”

“It will be,” I reply firmly. “It will be.”

“Okay, back to the original issue. If he falls in love.” Lila rocks back and forwards, swinging her legs.

“Then we deal with that when it gets here.” Kay shrugs. “I don't know what else we can do.”

Ugh. “Okay, what's the last stage?” I ask.

“Stage Four, Hump and Dump.” Megan writes it and underlines it with a flourish. “I don't think I need to elaborate on that one.”

“No,” I agree. “You don't need to.”

I look over her shoulder at the colorful piece of paper on the floor. It's split into four, color coordinated, and every stage is explained. I sigh, wondering what the hell I've let them talk me into this time.

Chapter Four - Braden

I rub my face with the bottom of my shirt. The high fall temperatures aren't football-playing weather for most of the guys in this house, even I struggle sometimes and I've played it since I could throw the damn ball.

“Break,” Tony Adams calls. “Please?”

I shake my head. “You're a fuckin' wimp, Adams.”

“Sorry, I'm from Maine and not used to these desert temperatures.”

“We don't live in the desert, idiot.” Kyle slaps the back of his head and we head back to where all the girlfriends – and Maddie – are sitting.

“Fuckin' may as well be,” Adams grumbles. I shake my head, grab a bottle of water and head over to Megan and the girls with Ryan.

''Ladies.'' I smile at Maddie, and she smirks.

“Turn down the charm, Casanova.” Megan laughs and tugs me to sit. “No one here is interested.”

“Except me.” I wink at Maddie.

“Yes, Braden, we all know about your vested interest in yourself,” Lila says and rolls her eyes.

“Ryan, control your girl,” I joke.

“Watch it, Carter,” Lila retorts. “Or I'll control your ass to Timbuktu.”

I grin and catch Maddie's eye. She's laughing silently, looking hot as hell in a short sun dress that shows off long lean legs.

“So, Maddie.” I lean back.

“So, Braden,” she replies, looking up at me through her thick curly eyelashes.

“Move your ass,” Kyle says, sitting in next to me. “Hey, guys, Maddie.” He nods towards her.

“Kyle.” She smiles widely at him and my hackles rise a little. I knew the guy was rude, but fuckin' hell.

“How are you, gorgeous girl?”

“Good, you?”

“Better for seeing you, that's for sure.” He winks and she smiles.

I narrow my eyes slightly, and Megan nudges me.

“Jealous, Bray?”

I snort. “Of Kyle? Yeah, right.”

“Okay,” she whispers disbelievingly. “But you're turning into a walking green-eyed monster.”

“Whatever, Meggy.”

“Seriously, Bray, if you wanna talk to her, just talk. She won't bite.”

“I might like it if she does.”

“You're such a pig!” She shakes her head. “I can see you're interested in her, so just ask her out.”

“I don't do dates, Meggy, you know that. If I decided to take her somewhere, I have no idea where.”

“You'd take her out?” She grins.

“I'm not saying yes or no,” I reply. “But I might consider it.”

“Starbucks. She likes their blueberry muffins.” She smiles, satisfied and amused. “Just let her get to know you. Not walking horn-dog Braden, the real Braden.”

“Maybe.” I look back at Maddie, and she's looking at me and Megan with her eyes slightly narrowed. She shakes her head, and I glance at Megan questioningly. She looks away, and I shake my head. Girls. I'll never fucking understand them.

A date. Why didn't I consider that shit when I agreed to Aston and Ryan's plan last night? Why did I think dates wouldn't come into it? Of course they fucking would, and they are.

Aston calls for us to start playing again, and I get up, handing Maddie my water bottle with a wink. She half-smiles as she takes it, and I can feel her eyes on me as I go back to play. Kyle pulls his top over his head, and I know this has turned into a pissing contest.

It's no secret to any of us that Kyle has his sights set on Maddie, and if I wanna complete the challenge the guys set, I gotta take it up a notch.

I glance over my shoulder, and her green eyes are on Kyle. Fuck no. I grip the bottom of my shirt and yank it over my head, stretching after and chucking it to Megan. She wrinkles her nose, and I laugh, noticing Maddie's eyes are back on me.

Good.

Kyle narrows his eyes at me, and I smile a shit eating smile, knowing he looks like a ten year old boy compared to me topless.

We all get into position, and the game starts again. Kyle and I seem to come head to head more than often, and I know he's trying to make me look like a prick. Fortunately, everyone already knows I am one and when it comes to football, he can kiss my fuckin' ass.

He catches the ball, and I tackle him. He falls face first on the grass and curses.

“What the fuck, Braden?”

“Slipped. Sorry.” I grin.

“Slipped my ass!” He gets up and comes towards me.

“Woah, woah!” Ryan jumps in between as my muscles tense. “Turn the testosterone down a notch, guys. It's just a game of football.”

“Yeah, Kyle, turn it down,” I goad him.

“If you're tryin' to convince her you're the better one out of the two of us, then good luck. She isn't as stupid as your usual clientele.”

I start forward, and Ryan puts a hand on my chest. “Dude, no. Go and chill.”

I take a deep breath and nod once. “Fine.”

I kick the ball away and turn back to the girls.

“Can't you even play a game of football without turning it into a pissing contest, Bray?” Megan laughs.

I shoot her a look, grab my shirt, and take my water from Maddie.

“Everything okay?” she asks softly.

I sip the water and look down at her. “Yeah, everything's okay, Angel.”

“Good.” She smiles up at me, and Kay sighs.

“I'll move over,” she says in a mock annoyed tone.

“Oh, Kay,” I say and sit in the spot she just vacated. “How did you know?”

“You look like you could rest your back against the wall.” She winks and Megan laughs.

“Or against Maddie.” Lila giggles.

I look at Maddie, and her cheeks flame a little. “I'd rest a whole lot of things against Maddie, none suitable for public viewing, though.”

Her mouth opens and closes once. Megan, Lila and Kay all roar with laughter, and I nudge Maddie.

“I'm sorry. Did that embarrass you?”

“Nope.” She squeaks the word out. “Not at all.”

I laugh and put an arm around her shoulder. “I think it did, and I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention.”

“It's okay,” she replies, a little tense in my hold.

“No, it's not,” I insist.

“Game's over!” Megan calls, and they all stand. I get up and offer Maddie my hand. She places hers in my larger one, and I pull her up, grinning down at her.

“Thank you.” She smiles and takes her hand from mine, making to follow the girls.

“Hey, Maddie?” I ask.

She stops and turns back to me, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “Yeah?”

“We have English Lit together tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have a class before?”

“Nope, it's a free. I usually head to the library to study.”

“Make an exception tomorrow?” I ask, leaning against the wall, facing her.

“What for?” She smiles a little.

“We could grab a coffee before class. I hear you like the muffins in Starbucks.” I tug a lock of her hair and amusement shines in her eyes.

“Braden Carter, are you asking me on a date?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Um.” I look around, and Megan has her back to me. She nods once, sharply. “Yes. I am, yeah.”

“Say it,” she demands.

“Say what?”

“I wanna hear you say you're asking me on a date, 'cause this has to be a historical moment.”

“Hey!” I protest. “Fine. Maddie, would you like to go on a date to grab coffee tomorrow before English?”

She smiles widely. “I'd love to.”

“Meet you outside Starbucks about half an hour before class, then?”

“It's a date,” she agrees and turns around, heading towards the girls.

I let out a breath and shake my head. Fuckin' hell.

Chapter Five - Maddie

I detour to the dorm room after my morning class. I shut the door behind me loudly and lean against it, shaking my head.

I'm about to go on a date with Braden Carter, resident playboy, all because of a stupid dare. But is it the dare that's stupid, or me for agreeing to it?

I think I'm voting for both.

I run my brush through my hair and touch up my make-up, glancing at the sheet on the wall. Stage One, Attachment. Today's goal is to leave him wanting a little more, to make him come back tomorrow. I sigh and leave the room, running down the stairs and out into the California sunshine. My floaty skirt swishes as I walk towards the campus Starbucks, butterflies going crazy in my stomach. Why do I have butterflies? I hate this guy. It's not even a real date.

That thought doesn't stop the extra loud beat of my heart when I see him. He's leaning against the wall outside, headphones in, and his head is bobbing to whatever he's listening to. His hands are in the pockets of his slim fit, dark blue jeans. As if he can feel me watching, he looks up and electric blue eyes collide with mine.

He smiles as I approach him, and the butterflies turn to stampeding elephants. I feel sick.

“Hey there, Angel,” Braden says and reaches to open the door for me.

“Hey,” I reply, walking through the door. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome.” He puts a hand on my back and guides me towards the counter. “What are you having?”

“A grande double chocolate chip frappucino, please.” I smile at his confused face. “What?”

“Chocolate chips in coffee? Why?”

“Why not?” I shrug. “It's yummy.”

“Okay, I'll try that.”

“What do you normally have?”

“Uh, normal coffee. You know, like a normal person drinks?” He laughs.

“Are you saying I'm not normal?” I raise an eyebrow as we reach the counter.

“Not at all.” He smiles. “Hi, can I have, er, what was it again?” He looks at me sheepishly.

I sigh, roll my eyes and shake my head. “Can we have two grande double chocolate chip fraps please?”

“And two blueberry muffins,” Braden adds, looking down at me. I blush slightly, and he slides his hand round so it's holding my waist. The barista steals glances at him as she prepares our drinks. It's all I can do not to roll my eyes again. We take our drinks, and Braden pays.

“Is it always like this for you?” I ask as we sit down.

“Like what?”

“Girls staring at you.”

“Who was staring?”

“The barista. Did you not notice?”

He shrugs one shoulder carelessly. “I don't pay much attention to it. If they're good enough to catch my eye then I'll pay them attention.”

“Oh, I feel so privileged,” I say sarcastically.

“Hey.” He raises his eyebrows. “I'm on a date with you, so you're not just good enough, Maddie. In fact, you're probably too good.”

I sip my drink and pick a piece of muffin off, popping it into my mouth. “So why are you here then? If I'm too good.”

“Because I'll never know unless I try, right?” he asks. “Like this coffee. I never knew how good it was until I tried it. I'll never know if I'm good enough for you unless I try.”

Wow. Braden wants in my pants. Bad.

“You win that one.” I smile.

“And Kyle has his eye on you. I don't do well with competition.”

“Ah, so that's what yesterday was about.” They were fighting over me?

Neanderthals.

“There's a slim chance of you bein' right there, beautiful.”

“I'd say there's a really good chance.” I sigh. “You really were fighting over me? Me? Wow.” I shake my head.

“Don't sound so shocked, Maddie. We're not the only guys in that house that have an interest in you,” he admits.

“You just thought you'd get in there first?” I comment wryly.

“Yes. I mean, no. I mean. Fuck." He groans. "This is so not the way I wanted this to go.”

I raise my eyebrows and glance at the clock.

“Yes. I thought I'd get in there first, but only because I'd get stupidly jealous if I saw you with one of those guys.”

“Right,” I say. “We need to get to class. It starts in five minutes.”

Braden sighs, and we both stand. I wrap my hands round the take out cup and back out of the door. We walk back towards the main campus in silence, and I almost wish we didn't have class together. This no talking thing is tense, even if I do hate the guy.

“Maddie,” he says, pulling me aside before we walk into the room. “That wasn't supposed to go like that. I'm sorry.”

I look towards the open class door. “It's no big deal, Braden. I mean, you don't date, right? Now you know for sure you don't.”

He reaches forward and tucks my hair behind my ear. “It is a big deal, to me it is. Let me try again. Please?”

I narrow my eyes and look at him. “Are you asking me for a second date?”

“Yeah,” he says in a soft voice. “I am askin' you for a second date.”

“I'll think about it, and then I'll call you.”

“You don't have my number.” He gives me a small smile.

I walk towards the classroom and look back at him when I reach the door. He's still standing by the side, watching me with that same smile playing on his lips.

“Then I guess you'll just have to wait, won't you?” I smirk and Megan rounds the corner. Her eyes shoot between both of us.

“How long?” Braden asks.

“However long I feel like making you wait.” My smirk changes to a grin. “Come on, you'll be late for class.”

I walk through the door with Megan, and we slide into our seats.

“Second date?” she whispers in my ear.

“Yep,” I reply. “He just doesn't know that yet.”

Chapter Six - Braden

I watch her all through class. Make me wait? I don't do fucking waiting, but here I am.

Waiting.

I shake my head at my thoughts and try to focus on the lesson but it's impossible. The girl I'm supposed to be making fall in love with me is calling the shots. I guess that's what happens when you fuck up the first date, right?

Fucking hell. This is a mess already, and it's only day two. And where the hell am I supposed to take her for a second date?

Class ends, and I follow Maddie and Megan out. I tug on Megan's hair as I pass her and brush my fingers down Maddie's arm. She glances up at me and smiles. I wink at her and walk in the opposite direction, back towards the frat house.

Ryan's sitting on the sofa with his feet up when I get there.

“How'd it go?”

“I fucked up, naturally.” I chuck myself next to him. “I have no fuckin' clue about this dating shit, man. I can't believe you're making me do this.”

“I'm not making you do anything,” he replies. “You agreed to this.”

“Yeah, well, providing she agrees, I have to find a place to take her for a second date.”

Ryan laughs.

“What's so funny?”

“Braden Carter is asking me for dating advice!” He chuckles. “Never thought I'd see the day.”

“Never thought I'd see the day I went on a damn date,” I grumble.

“Try this Friday.”

“Friday? That's four days away and a party night.”

“What better way to show her you're serious than skipping out on your own party?” Ryan raises his eyebrows.

“And where do I take the princess for our date?”

“To the beach? Have a walk under the stars,” Ryan suggests in a girly voice and sighs.

“Great,” I mutter. “And until then?”

“Pop up when she least expects it. Spend time with her.” He shrugs. “That shit worked with Lila.”

“Right. She said she spends free time between classes in the library. That?”

“Find out from Megan when her free time is, if she won't get suspicious.”

“Dude, she told me where to take Maddie for our first “date”. I'm pretty sure Megan has her own freakin' agenda.”

He looks at me knowingly. “Then make sure you keep to ours and not fall into hers.”

“I don't fall in love, Ry.” I snort at the idea. “And especially not with princesses like Maddie.”

“Yet you're willing to pretend to get her in bed.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures, my friend. I always get what I want, and I want Maddie in my bed.”

“In that case, I hope you know what you're doing. We all know what Megan is like when she gets an idea in her head.”

“Megan's ideas can stay in her head. I never paid attention to them as a kid, and I won't start now. Besides, it's not like this thing with Maddie is even real. It's all a game, man.”

“A love game?” Ryan chuckles.

“Something like that. Except the one who falls in love, loses.”

“And Braden never loses, right?” Ryan smiles wryly.

“Right.”

Chapter Seven - Maddie

I knock on Lila and Megan's door before pushing it open. Both of them are stretched out on their beds doing schoolwork, and I drop myself on the floor between them, letting the door shut itself.

“Where's Kay?” Lila asks, glancing at me.

“She's, um, entertaining.”

“Oh.” Her mouth drops open slightly.

“Yes. Oh.”

“Who this time?” Megan rolls over.

“Darla somebody.” I shrug. “I have no idea, and I'd rather not know to be honest. It's not like I'll see her again.”

She nods. “Mhmm. Heard from Bray?”

“Why would I have? He doesn't have my cell number.”

“Why not?” Lila smiles.

“Because I'm holding out on him.”

“Because he fucked up the first date, asked her for a second, and she hasn't answered him yet,” Megan clarifies.

“You didn't?” Lila exclaims. “Oh, nice one, Mads. That's definitely gonna keep him coming back.”

“It's not about that.” I pick at some lint on my jeans. “I see the way he walks all over girls, and it makes me sick. I won't be like that, running and falling at his feet just because the infamous Braden calls my name. If I'm gonna play this guy at his own game and make him fall in love with me, he's gonna respect me while he does it.”

Megan smiles. “And that, honey, is why you are the perfect girl for the job.”

Lila nods her agreement. “It's true, and it's why it's gonna work. You know what you're doing.”

Because I know how to handle pig-headed, arrogant male assholes.

“Whatever. I just want to get it done with. The idea of pretending to fall in love with him makes me feel sick.”

Megan's phone chimes, and she grabs it from the side. She smirks at whatever is on screen and types back quickly.

“Anything interesting?” Lila asks her.

“Nope,” she replies, rolling over onto her back. “So, where are we on OPTP?”

“Holding out on the second date. Making him sweat.” I lean against the bed, and she grabs a notebook.

“And when are you going to give him an answer?”

"Umm." I haven't thought about that. At all. “Wednesday, I guess.”

They both nod. “Wednesday is good. That gives him time to plan something for this weekend.”

“But aren't we supposed to be 'exclusive' next week?” I look between them, confused.

“You will be.” Megan snaps the notebook shut. “You have two classes together, right? So you'll see each other then and one of your free periods matches.”

“So?”

Lila groans. “Have you ever dated before?”

“Once,” I admit.

“Once?” She sits up. “Just once?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Because all the guys in Brooklyn were tools. “Just... Because.”

“Wait a minute.” Megan sits up and looks at me. “Maddie, honey. Are you a virgin? 'Cause if you are we won't make you do this.”

There it is. My out. For some reason, though, I'm not taking it.

“No,” I reply with a smirk. “I'm not a virgin.”

“Phew.” She flops backwards. “I'd never make you lose your virginity like that.”

“What are we doing then?” Lila asks. “Are Mads and Braden gonna spend not-a-date time together?”

“Yes,” Megan replies. “Starting tomorrow. I'll switch seats with him in English. He sits with Aston and I'm sure it won't take much to convince Aston I'm interested.” She wrinkles her nose.

“You're not?” I ask her. “He is kinda hot.”

“I admit his short hair is kinda sexy, but he's also a bit of a bitch for a straight guy. He spends so long getting ready.”

Lila grunts. “Have you met my boyfriend? Ryan is just as bad.”

They carry on talking about Aston and Ryan, and I zone out, picking at my nails. First dates, now time outside of that and seating arrangements? This is getting crazy.

I mean, I guessed it would happen eventually, but it's just too soon. How am I supposed to spend so much time with a guy I hate?

~

I twirl a lock of hair around my finger, humming quietly to myself as I enter the library. A quick glance at the clock reads 10.55am. I'm five minutes early to meet Megan - not that it means anything since she's always late anyway.

I sit at my usual table at the back and dump my bag on the table, knocking an earphone out in the process. With a sigh, I put it back in and pull out my English work I've been procrastinating. If there's one thing I hate, it's Shakespeare. I just don't understand him - there's too much tragedy in his work. I'm definitely more of a Disney's happily ever after girl.

I guess if you've suffered enough tragedy in your life, happily ever after becomes something to reach out for.

I open the workbook to the right page and spin my pen in my fingers. The letters blur in front of my eyes and I rub at them to clear them.

I can't concentrate, and I know why. It's this challenge. It's getting to me already. He's getting to me already.

Damn Braden Carter, damn my girls, and damn whoever created the minefield that is the game of love. I'd sure love to shoot Cupid in the ass with his own arrow.

“That book must be really interesting,” a smooth, silky voice says over my shoulder. “You've been staring at it for five minutes.”

“Braden,” I acknowledge, not needing to look to see if it's him. The hairs standing on the back of my neck are indication enough.

“Want some company, Angel?” He slips into the seat next to me.

I look at him. “Apparently you're staying, anyway.”

His blue eyes twinkle with amusement. “Is that a yes?”

“That's an 'I'm meeting Megan but whatever.'”

“Actually, you're not.” He nudges my foot with his. I frown. “She said she had to run somewhere so asked me to come and let you know. Since I have a free period I thought I'd join you. If you don't mind.”

Sneaky little witch! “I guess not, then. I'll warn you though, I don't talk much when I'm studying.”

“Neither do I.” He smiles at me, and I inwardly sigh. I appear to be sighing an awful lot lately.

I set my iPod on shuffle and put the other earphone in. I turn my attention back to Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing and attempt to sift through the old language. It doesn't go well.

I've been fighting against thrices and m'ladys and hasts for way too long when I feel Braden's arm rest across the back of my chair. He grasps a bit of my hair, teasing it between his fingers. I ignore him. Or, I try to.

He's sitting next to me, so casually. He's chewing his pen and flicking through pages of what looks like a chem book. He's also oblivious to the fact I'm looking at him.

I'm looking at him? Sheesh. I turn my attention back to the book, with him still playing with my hair, and carry on dissecting the scene for Mr Jessop.

An earphone falls out of my ear.

“Ready?” Braden asks.

“For what?” I frown.

“To go to class?” He smirks. “You really do get lost in studying, don't you?”

“Sometimes,” I answer, shoving everything into my bag. I stand, and he takes my bag from me. “I can carry my bag, you know.”

“I know.” He starts walking, and I follow him, shaking my head. He holds the library door open for me, and I pass through it, holding my hand out.

“Bag. Please.”

“Why won't you let me carry it?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Braden, I don't think I've ever seen you carry someone else's bag for them.”

He shrugs and puts a hand on my back, leading me towards our English room. “You're not anyone else.”

I purse my lips, and my eyes widen when I see Megan sitting in his normal seat next to Aston. I glare at her, and she smiles sweetly.

“Apparently I'm sitting with you.” Braden smiles.

“Apparently.” I sit down and he hands me my stuff. “Thank you. It was unnecessary, but thank you.”

“Any time.” He turns to me, blue eyes bright under his messy mop of blonde hair. “Have you decided if I get that second date yet?”

I turn my eyes to the front as Mr Jessop walks in. “I'm still thinking.”

Braden leans in to me, his mouth millimeters from my ear. “You'll give in, Maddie.”

“Will I now?”

“Yep,” he breathes. “I'll have that second date, and a third, and then more.”

“You're really confident for someone who messed up on the first date.”

“And that's why you'll give me more dates. They're chances to redeem myself.”

He's right. He'll get more dates, of course he will.

Just not for the reason he thinks.

Chapter Eight - Braden

I'm pretty sure dating isn't supposed to be this fucking hard. A simple yes or no answer would do. All this waiting is driving me up a damn wall. So why am I waiting outside her dorm block for her?

Because it's Wednesday, two days after our first “date” and two days before our second “date”. In which I will miss my own damn party for her.

The door opens, and Kay steps in front of me.

“Any reason you're stalkin' my dorm, Carter?” She puts a hand on her hip and looks me over.

“Maddie around?”

“You could call and ask that, you know. Lurking outside girls' dorms isn't a good look for you.”

I clench my teeth. “Just answer the fucking question, Kay.”

“Yes.” She rolls her eyes. “She has class in half an hour.”

“Any chance you could call her down, like now?”

She sighs and pulls her cell out. She holds a button and puts it to her ear. “You have a stalker down here.”

She hangs up and storms past me.

“Thanks, Kay!” I call after her and she flips me off. Bitch.

I run my fingers through my hair, and Maddie appears at the door. Two girls run past her into the building, giggling, and she shakes her head.

“Isn't stalking a little below you, Braden?” She smirks at me, her pink, glossy lips turning up at one side. Her green eyes are wide and lined with a soft brown liner, her auburn hair pulled to one side revealing her very lightly tanned neck.

“You tell me, Maddie,” I reply. She leans against the wall, and I mimic her movement. “Will you come on another date, or do I have to stalk you some more?”

She plays with a piece of her hair, sliding her fingers up and down it. It makes me wonder what else she could slide her fingers up and down.

Not the fucking time, Braden. Make her fall in love, don't take her on the damn sidewalk.

“Maybe,” she replies, bringing me back to the conversation. Except now my brain is focused on the way her lips move when she talks.

“Maybe you'll go, or maybe I have to stalk you some more? I gotta say, Angel, I'm down for either.” I rake my eyes down her body, the tight tank top and cut-off shorts, and back up. “Stalking could definitely have its perks.”

She gasps and slaps my arm. Ouch. That stings. “You're a pig.”

“So I keep being told.” I sigh. “At least I'm an honest one.”

“True.” She laughs. “I guess it depends what you have in mind for this second date.”

“I guess you'll just have to wait and see.”

“Because you have no idea?”

Shit. She's too smart. “I just have a few things to finalize.”

“Presumptuous,” she challenges.

“I prefer to think of it as hopeful,” I counter, laughing. “What do you say, Maddie? Please?”

She bites the corner of her thumb, and I shove my hands in my pockets.

“Okay,” she agrees. “One more date.”

“Really?”

“Really, Braden.” She closes her eyes for a second and turns to the door. She punches the code in and opens it, looking at me over her shoulder through her lashes. “Mess this up, and there won't be another. I don't do games.”

She steps through and the door swings shuts. I turn and walk down the sidewalk.

Maddie does do games. The only difference is, she doesn't even realize she's playing it.

~

I have no idea what to do for this 'date'. Honestly, trying to get an idea out of my no-dating brain is like getting water from a stone. It's fucking impossible. I'm considering the walk on the beach shit Ryan suggested, but I can't just leave it at that. Can I?

Fuck this. When life gets hard, ask Google. Google knows everything.

I pull my laptop from under the bed and start it up, my leg shaking. The hassle I'm going through just for sex should be illegal in every damn state. Do people do this in real life?

This is crazy. I'm going crazy.

I double-click the browser, and it opens onto Google homepage. Where to take a girl for your second date, I type. I hit enter and my cell rings. I trap it between my ear and shoulder as I trawl through the search results.

“Yep?”

“Have you spoken to her yet?” Meggy asks.

“Yep. I waited outside her dorm block earlier.”

“I'm sorry? You did what?” She laughs. “You actually waited outside for her?”

“I wanted my answer. You know I'm impatient.” I click a link that looks promising.

“Okay. And what did she say?”

“She said yes. What, were you expecting her to say no?”

“I was fifty-fifty.” I know she's smirking, and I'd love to wipe it off her cheeky little face.

“She was always gonna say yes, Meggy. You know that.”

“Whatever. What are you doing now? Do you have anything planned for your big date?”

“I'm working on it,” I answer vaguely.

“That's a no.” She sighs. “Do you have any idea what you're doing?”

“If you'd be quiet for two minutes, I'd have ten.”

“Are you doing what I think you're doing?”

“It depends what you think I'm doing.”

“Braden William Carter, are you on Google?”

Shit. “Uh...”

She sighs heavily down the phone. “Go on. Hit me with what it says.”

“Okay.” I scroll down. “Dinner out, dinner in, a movie, the opera - the fucking opera? No chance. Okay, umm, a picnic, rollerskating, coffee - tried and failed - bowling. Bowling? That could work.”

“You could grab food at the alley,” Meggy suggests. “You'd have fun.”

“But would Maddie like that?”

“Are you actually asking me if she'd like it? Is Mr. Insatiable going soft?”

“Fuck off.” I laugh. “I don't get this dating thing and you know it. Help me out here.”

“Are you dating her to get in her pants, Bray?” She asks the question so fast I double-take.

Yes. “No. Why would you ask that?”

“Maybe I'm having a hard time believing you actually like her and want more than sex.”

That's because you're right. “I like her, Meggy. She's beautiful and smart and funny-”

“And you sound like a robot.”

“I'm trying here.”

“You've always been trying, Bray. So what are you gonna do?”

I sigh. “Bowling, walk on the beach, then if she wants we can head back here for the party.”

“Sounds good. Bye now.” She hangs up, the call clicking off in my ear. I sometimes wonder if I'd kill her if she wasn't like my little sister.

I dial up the bowling alley and ask for a lane for two on Friday night. The girl at the other end of the phone giggles when I give her my name, and I exhale slowly. Sometimes - and I'd never tell anyone this - the fawning girls gets a little old. I book the alley and hang up pronto.

I chuck my cell down, shut the laptop, and lean my head back against the wall. Date two? Sorted.

Chapter Nine - Maddie

I stare at my phone in disbelief. I left Brooklyn six weeks ago and now, only now, has my brother, Pearce, remembered me. This text message is the first time we've spoken since I came to Berkeley. Well, the first time he's spoken. I sent a text message when I got here to let him know I was safe, and then that was it. Until today.

I look again at my phone. I don't know why I expected any different from him. He would only get in contact if and when he wanted something. And like usual, it's money. I don't want to know what he wants it for, but judging by the fact he's asked for eight hundred dollars, I'd say its rent. All because his arrogant, selfish ass can't hold down a job long enough to support our suicidal father.

I rub my forehead and try to block out the memories, telling Pearce I'll call up the bank and wire the money to Dad's account. Not that it makes a difference. Pearce will use it on what he wants anyway, thinking of Dad second.

A wave of guilt crashes into me for leaving Dad, but I remind myself it's what he wanted, what she would have wanted for me. Pearce has always been too self-absorbed to make something of his life. I got the brains, and that's why she saved the money for me to access when I turned eighteen.

My college fund, she called it one day. Said she'd been saving since she knew I was coming, that she wanted me to have a good life. She'd been saving for Pearce too, but he bought a car and god knows what else. She'd be ashamed if she could see him now. She'd be so mad.

I squeeze my eyes shut, banishing those thoughts from my mind. Three years and the wound is still too fresh, too raw. The pain still trickles out the way blood trickles from a paper cut, but it's bearable. It's just a part of my life. Another part that I should have left behind when I left Brooklyn. But, like all good tragedies do, it's followed me.

I decide to skip out on going to the library for my free period, instead choosing to work from the safe bubble of my dorm. Plus, going to the library means bumping into Braden.

The Californian equivalent of my brother.

My thoughts fall to our 'date' tomorrow night. He must want in my pants really badly if he's still waiting. Usually he'll hang for half an hour - if you show your interest, good. If not, he's onto the next. Yep, you can't deny he doesn't mess around when it comes to his sex life. In fact, a part of me almost respects him for going after what he wants.

A part the size of my baby toe. The rest of me still thinks he's a pig.

I wonder what Mom would think if she knew I was doing this challenge. As an independent, strong woman, she'd probably be a little proud that I'm gonna put him in his place. As a mother, she'd warn me to be careful and not lose my own heart in the process. I snort at the idea. Lose my heart to Braden Carter?

Never going to happen.

~

“Casual,” Kay shouts from the bathroom.

“No, casual dressy,” Lila argues, shaking her head.

“Lila, they're bowling.” Megan huffs. “She needs to be casual yet comfy. I'd say a casual dress or a nice top and those tight jeans you have.”

“The ones that give my ass its own ass?” I raise a brow.

“Yes. We need to show him what's on offer.” She moves towards my drawers.

“Make me sound like a promotional display at Target, why don't you?” I roll my eyes. “Besides, I thought we were making him fall in love with me, not turn him into a walking erection.”

“The way to Braden's heart is through his dick.” She takes the jeans, shuts the drawer with her hip, and passes them to me. Kay roars with laughter and comes back into the room.

“Braden has a heart?” She laughs. “Funny, Megs, funny.”

“Hey.” Megan turns and points her finger at her. “He does. It's just wrapped up in latex and usually between some girl's legs.”

“Nice,” I mutter, taking the jeans. Lila pats my arm sympathetically.

“It won't be that bad, Maddie,” she reassures me. “Besides, if you tell him you wanna head back to the party afterward, we'll be there and you can escape for a few minutes.”

“But it's gonna be like, two hours.” I watch Megan rifle through my closet. “Two hours alone with Braden. This is gonna be torture. You guys don't even understand it.”

“You can't hate him that much, Mads.” Megan turns. “Can you?”

I sigh, looking at the carpet. “You have no idea. I wasn't joking when I said he was everything I hated.”

“Then don't do it.” Kay spears me with her gaze. “Give up. Quit.” She shrugs a shoulder.

“What?” I frown.

“If it's that bad, then back out. We won't hold it against you, but it'll be you wondering whether or not it would have worked.”

“Don't do your reverse psychology trash on me, Kay.” I sniff, standing and moving to my closet. I pull out a long, white top with a floral design and grab my white gladiator sandals. “You all know I won't give up. I'll just have to suffer for your amusement.”

I turn and storm into the bathroom to get changed. Quit. I might be annoyed I have to do this, but I'm not going to give up. I said I would do it, and I will.

I change quickly, brushing my hair and securing it into a ponytail with a band. A quick brush of mascara on my lashes, a hint of bronzer along my cheekbones followed by a slick of gloss on my lips, and I decide it's as good as it's gonna get.

Kay whistles when I walk back into our room.

“Sexy lady!” She winks and I crack a smile at her.

“Good enough?” I spin and bow.

“Perfect,” Megan declares. “Braden won't be able to resist you.”

I move to the mirror and slightly tease my bangs. That's what I'm worried about.

A horn beeps outside and Lila squeals, running to the window. “He's here!”

“Great,” I mutter, grabbing my purse. “Have fun without me, and try not to think of me too much, yeah?”

“You'll be fine, baby girl.” Kay grins at me. “Shake your ass, flick your hair, and bat those eyelashes a few times. Do that and this is in the bag!”

“Right.” I sigh, waving over my shoulder as I shut the door behind me. I skip down the stairs, not wanting to prolong this “date”.

I can see him through the window of the main door. His hands are in the pockets of another pair of washed-out dark jeans, a black top covering his muscular torso. I open the door, and he smiles at me, his blue eyes brightening under his blonde hair.

I get why girls fall over him. That smile is disarming.

“Maddie.” He says my name softly. “You look beautiful.”

He's laying it on thick tonight, apparently. “Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself.”

“You mean you can deal being seen in public with me?” He raises his eyebrows, and I smile, stepping into the evening sunshine.

“Maybe. Although, be warned, if we see anyone we know I will hide.” I follow him to his car – a black Jetta. Of course. I bet he doesn't foot the bill, though.

He opens the door for me, and I climb in, sinking into the leather seats. Stylish.

“Nice car,” I compliment as he gets in next to me.

“Thanks.” He grins. “Graduation present. I worked hard for this baby.” He pats the dashboard and starts the engine, pulling away from my block smoothly.

“I'm sure you did,” I mutter, looking out of the window.

“What?” He glances at me quickly.

“Nothing.” I wish I'd backed out earlier. In three days I've had two chances to throw my hands up and say “stuff it,” and I haven't. Why? Because I'm probably borderline clinically insane. Failing that, I'm just damn stupid.

Hearing from Pearce yesterday has just reshaped Braden in my mind. When I look at him, I see all the things my brother did to my old best friend. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I won't think of that today. I won't think of how I saw him destroy her and our friendship in the process.

“You look like you're thinking too hard, Angel.” Braden shifts in his seat, and I realize we've pulled up to the bowling alley. I turn to him.

“Just thinking about my family, that's all,” I reply, unclipping the seatbelt. I hear his door open and close then mine opens. He's playing the gentleman game. “Thank you,” I say and accept the hand he gives me.

“I'm sorry,” he says, locking the car and putting a hand on my back. “I forget you're from Brooklyn. It must be hard being away from your family.”

What's left of it. “Sometimes. Sometimes I'm glad of the freedom I have now.”

“I bet.” He smiles down at me. “Do you speak to them much?”

“Is this twenty questions?” I'm amused.

“Would you be annoyed if I said yes?”

“Not at all.” I let out a small laugh. “Last I heard, a girl was lucky if Braden Carter asked her name.”

He smirks down at me and pulls me towards the counter. “Then you should consider yourself very lucky.” He looks up at the girl behind the counter who beams at him, twirling her hair round her finger and sticking out her chest.

He's clearly on a date. Do these girls have no morals?

Not that I'm bothered. It's just sickening.

“I have a lane booked for six thirty. Under Carter?” he says, ignoring her obvious attempts at getting his attention. Woah, he's good.

“Of course, we have you booked in here. In fact, I think I took the call.” Boobs beams even wider and crosses his name off the list with a flourish. Ugh. Go look in a mirror and practice being a Barbie doll. She's practically a life-size one anyway.

“I'm sure you did.” Braden smiles politely, albeit tightly at her. It doesn't look forced. Whoa, hold on there. Could Mr. Playboy hate all that attention? Surely not. Another glance at him. Yep. He's definitely not impressed. I file that bit of information away for the dissection of the date tomorrow with the girls. Interesting.

“Maddie?” He taps my side. “What size shoes do you need?”

“Oh, um, a seven, please.” I smile sweetly at Boobs. She gives me an icy look and grabs a pair of shoes. I look at the size when she slides them to me. “They're a nine,” I tell her. “I said seven.”

She snatches them back and passes me another pair. Sevens.

“Thank you.” I give her another sweet smile and follow Braden to the seats opposite to change our shoes.

“Feisty,” he whispers when we sit down.

“She gave me the wrong size.” I put my socks on from my purse. “Plus I'm pretty sure she's jealous.”

“Oh, this again?” He winks at me. I roll my eyes and hand him my sandals as we stand.

“Try not to get sucked in by her chest when you hand them back.”

“Why, Maddie.” He steps closer to me, hooking a finger under my chin and tilting it upwards. “Are you jealous?”

I bat my eyelashes twice. “Would you be annoyed if I said yes?”

He laughs loudly and runs his thumb across my jaw. “No, Angel, I wouldn't be annoyed. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'd like it if you were jealous. That, and I can see you and jealousy being crazy sexy. We'd probably have to leave if you were.”

He hands the shoes to Boobs and comes back to me, sliding his arm round my waist.

“That would be unfortunate,” I whisper, biting my lip to stop myself laughing.

“Not from where I'm standing,” he says into my ear in a husky voice.

Play. The. Game.

“Then I might just be jealous.”

“You are?” He raises his eyebrows.

“Yes, but there's a bowling ball over there with my name on it and a guy standing next to me whose ass I have to kick. So yes, leaving would be unfortunate.” I spin from his hold and walk backwards, grinning. His lips curl up in an amused smile, his eyes sparkling.

“Then let's make a deal. If you kick my ass, I get to touch yours.”

Here we go. Round one, ding ding.

“Braden, you don't lose then,” I say innocently, my hand on the blue ball I always use.

“I know.” He stops in front of me, and I bite my top lip. He looks down at my mouth. “I don't like to lose.”

I release my lip and my heart pounds. Is that a challenge, or a promise? “Neither do I,” I whisper. “So prepare to get your ass kicked.”

I haul the ball from the stand and turn to our lane. I feel him tug my hair as he comes up behind me.

“I'm going to enjoy touching your ass, Maddie.”

“I'm going to enjoy kicking your ass, Braden.”

“Feisty,” he repeats, grinning again.

I smirk at him and step up to take the first bowl. In a roundabout way, this is actually kinda fun.

Chapter Ten - Braden

Maddie reaches up and tugs her hair from its holder. Her fiery red curls fan out around her shoulders, settling with one last bounce down her back. The end of her hair is inches from her ass – the ass I got to touch earlier, per winning conditions.

She won, but I did get to touch that pert little butt, so I'd call that a win-win situation.

“So,” I begin as we walk across the sand. “You never answered my question earlier.”

“What question?” She looks at me with those big green eyes of hers.

“Do you speak to your family much?”

“My dad and I talk about once a week, usually on Sunday. It's become kind of a habit. My brother? Not so much.” She shrugs a shoulder.

“Aren't you close?”

She snorts, shaking her head. “About as close as two opposite poles.”

“What about your mom? Do you ever speak?”

She stops by the edge of the water, drawing a line in the sand with her toe. Her eyes mist over a little, and I move next to her. She looks up, and there's pure, raw pain in her eyes. Pain I can't even begin to understand.

“My mom died three years ago,” she whispers softly, dropping her eyes again. “She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.”

Shit. “I'm sorry,” I say lamely. What the fuck do you say to that?

“Don't be.” Maddie looks at me. “Did you shoot her? No. It's not your fault. Don't apologize for what someone else did.”

I reach up and tuck her hair behind her ear. What is it about her hair?

“I'm sorry you had to go through that.”

Her eyes are startlingly clear as she takes in my words. She doesn't flinch, doesn't cry, and doesn't break. Is her heart made of stone?

“So am I,” she finally replies. “But it's done. There's no point in dwelling on what could have, should have, or would have been, because that doesn't make it any better for anyone. In fact, it probably makes it worse. She's gone. I can't change that, I can only live with it. And I do,” she continues, quieter. “I live with it every day, and I'm always gonna miss her, but just because she's gone doesn't mean I can't be the person I'm meant to be.”

Shit, that's insightful. What do you say to that? How is this little girl able to render me speechless? I have an answer for everything.

Granted, it's usually a swear word or sex-related, but it's still an answer.

I slide my hand from her shoulder down her arm. I slip my fingers between hers and squeeze gently. “You're really strong, you know that?”

“No. I'm just me.”

“Doesn't change it. You are strong.”

“What about you?” she says suddenly, the mist clearing from her eyes. That's all I'll get out of her today. But if she opens up, she trusts me, right? That is what it means? And trust leads to love. Where is Megan when I need her?

Shit. I'm a prize dick for thinking about that shit when she's just bared her soul to me.

“Not much to tell.” We start walking again, our clasped hands swinging slightly between us. “Grew up in Palm Springs with Megan, lived the good, easy life, then spread my wings and came to college.”

“With Megan.”

“Yeah. We made a pact we'd go to college together. I'm only two months older than her, and we saw each other every day as we grew up. She's like my sister.”

Maddie nods, and I can tell she understands. It's a relief because it'll make the whole “dating” thing easier, but not even the guys get why I'm so protective over her. Touch her and you die kinda protective.

“I think it's nice you're so close,” she says. “I miss having that closeness with someone. Maybe I'll find it again one day.”

“I'm sure you will. Who knows? We might be that close one day.” God, I really am laying it on thick today.

She turns up to me, a smirk on her lips and her eyebrows quirked. “Presumptuous.”

“I prefer hopeful.” I grin. She laughs and shakes her head. “Seriously.”

“Okay, Braden.” She's still shaking her head. “It'll be a miracle if this....” She motions between us. “....lasts beyond tonight.”

“Is that what you think?” I challenge her, stopping in front of her and holding her other hand.

“Why wouldn't it be? I've had your attention for oh, six days. That's a miracle in itself.”

I shake my head. She's fucking smart, and now I have to play it just as smart. It's all a game. Love or be loved. I don't do the first one, so it's gonna have to be the second. Megan's made me watch enough chick flicks in my life. I can fake this mushy shit.

“Angel,” I say softly, running my thumb across her cheek, across the tiny freckles I've never noticed until now. “What if I ask you to give me a chance?”

“A chance? At what?”

“A chance to be more than your friend.”

Her eyes flick across my face, checking my sincerity. Luckily I'm good at holding a mask in place.

“And?” she asks.

“And what?”

“And what if you mess up? What then?” Maddie looks down.

“Then I give you full permission to set Kay on my ass,” I say quietly, tilting her face up. “I promise. I'm not perfect, Maddie, I'm nothing like perfect, and I'm the first to admit it. But, if you'll let me, I'll try and be perfect for you. So you can have that closeness you want.”

I'm a prick.

“Fine,” she says after a moment. “One chance, Braden. That's all.”

I smile slowly at her and rest my forehead against hers. My breath fans across her mouth, and she closes her eyes. Kiss her, and I've sealed the deal.

I lower my lips to hers, and my fucking phone rings. I sigh and step away from her, putting it to my ear.

“What?” I snap.

“Oho, did I interrupt something?” Ryan snickers.

“You have the worst timing ever.” I glance at Maddie, and she blushes a little, looking away.

“Do I now?”

“Yep. What do you want, asshole?”

“Are you coming back here? Lila wants to know how your date went. She's having fuckin' kittens here, man.”

I cover the bottom of my phone with my hand and look at Maddie. “Wanna head back to the house? The girls are there already.”

“Sure.” She smiles up at me.

“We're on our way,” I say into the phone. “See you in a few.” I hang up and shove it back into my pocket. “Asshole.”

Maddie chews the inside of her lip to control her laughter.

“Hey.” I nudge her and take her hand in mine again. “Don't laugh.”

“Sorry.” Her eyes glimmer with amusement.

“No you're not.”

“You're right. I'm not.” She shrugs and grins, tugging me along. “Come on. I bet Kay already has my shots lined up, and she'll drink them if I don't!”

I look upwards and shake my head, following her back to my car.

I have a girlfriend. A fake girlfriend, but still a girlfriend.

Who the fuck would have thought?

Chapter Eleven - Maddie

We enter the house, and music pounds against us. Braden reaches for my hand, linking his fingers through mine. I let him, squeezing his hand lightly, and he pulls me through the packed house. We surface in the kitchen where Kay, Megan, and Lila are sitting by the bar.

“I'm gonna go find Ryan.” He leans down and whispers in my ear. “Wait for me by the bar?”

I nod and step forward, releasing his hand. I smile at him over my shoulder, and he winks. Jesus. It's been twenty minutes and already, I'm tired of pretending I give a shit about any of it. Although, I am questioning why I opened up to him earlier. Maybe it's because I don't care and I know it's vital to him falling for me. Pity, right? Poor little Maddie. I scoff at myself.

Megan slides her arm through mine the second I reach her. “Well?”

“Game on,” I whisper, smirking at Lila and Kay.

“Whooooooop!” Kay yells and waves to Kyle. “Eight shots, two each, one two bam!”

“You got it!” Kyle winks at me. I smile politely at him. As far as the University of California, Berkeley is concerned, I'm in a relationship with Braden Carter. Not that Kyle will understand that.

“Good night?” he asks as he slides the glasses to us.

“I'd say it was,” Lila giggles, holding up a shot. We all grab a glass and throw it back, followed by the second one.

“And why's that?” He leans forward, moving his face towards mine.

“Because she has a boyfriend.” Megan smirks and turns.

“You're kidding,” Kyle deadpans.

“Um, or not.” I shrug a shoulder.

“You're with Braden?”

“She is,” Braden says, coming up behind me. “Problem, Kyle?”

Kyle looks up, and rage is written all over his face. “Yeah, actually. Yeah, there is.”

“Then please, share why you're so much better than I am.”

Kyle glances at me, and I step to the side.

“Animals,” I mutter. Lila nods her agreement.

“No, Maddie.” Braden looks at me. “I wanna know what he thinks he can give you that I can't.”

“Bray...” Megan warns.

“What I can give her that you can't? Maybe a secure relationship full of trust, where she won't be worried if you're gonna run off and fuck one of your whores.” Kyle looks at him in disgust. “And the rest. There just isn't enough time in a day to describe how much of a prick you are to girls.”

“Hey!” Megan protests, slapping her hands on the counter. “Out of order, Kyle.”

“He asked.”

“Yeah, and now I'm telling you that's enough!”

“No, Meggy, let him carry on.” Braden's face is like stone.

“Aren't you gonna step in?” Kay whispers.

“What's the point?” I shrug. “They'll still have this pissing contest. Besides, it'll get what we want.”

“What's that?”

“Attention on our relationship.”

She slaps my shoulder. “Smart girl.”

“Braden, we all know you're not gonna hang around for her. You just wanna fuck her and move on. You aren't worth shit on someone's shoe. Why not let her have someone who'll treat her right and not like one of your sluts?” Kyle says loudly.

Braden launches himself over the bar, kicking a bottle of vodka over and sending it smashing to the ground. He grabs Kyle's shirt and pins him to the wall.

“You wanna fuckin' repeat that, Kyle?” Braden hisses through clenched teeth.

“Oh, sake.” Megan sighs, shaking her head.

“I would, but I think you heard me the first time,” Kyle replies. “Besides, not exactly showing your girl how much of a decent boyfriend you are, are you?”

“Yeah, Kyle, that's right. My girl. Maddie is mine, and don't you forget that.” Braden lets him go and glares at him. “Try anything with her and a bottle won't be the only thing getting fuckin' broken.”

“Okay.” Ryan slips in. “Shows over, boys. Kiss and make up or get the fuck away from each other.”

“Oh, better late than never,” Lila mutters. “He'd be late to his own damn funeral.”

I snort and cover my mouth with my hand. Not the time. I drop it and look back towards Braden.

Megan says something to him, and he turns to look at me, a hint of regret in his blue eyes. I hold my stance, keeping his eye contact. Megan says something else, and he nods, moving forward. He takes my hand silently and leads me from the room.

“Party on, guys. Nothing to see!” Ryan yells as we head upstairs.

Braden leads me up two flights of stairs and unlocks a door. His room.

It's spotless. For some reason, I'm surprised, and I glance at him quickly. The dark covers on the bed stand out against the standard white walls, and a desk piled up with books sits in the corner. The only way you can tell it's a teenage boys room is by the large screen TV attached to the wall above an Xbox. Naturally.

“Maddie?” He shuts the door and raises a hand to my face. “I'm sorry, Angel. I didn't mean for that to happen.”

“You seem to do a lot of things you don't mean, Braden,” I reply.

“I know. Always around you.” He smiles wryly. I shrug one shoulder. “I don't want you to think any differently of me because of that.”

Play the game, Maddie.

“Because of what?”

He quirks a brow and smiles. “The fact I nearly punched him in the face.”

“Why would I think any differently? Isn't that what you're supposed to do?” My eyes flicker to our clasped hands and back up to him.

“I think so.”

I laugh. “Wow, you really don't date.”

“Didn't, I didn't. I don't know if you noticed, but half the people downstairs just saw me go all protective over you.”

“Ah, yes. The caveman performance. Me, Braden. Maddie, mine. That?”

He chuckles. “Yes, that.”

“Well I doubt anyone's gonna try and take me now,” I say. “I think it's kinda obvious who thinks I belong to them.”

“Who thinks?” He steps closer.

“Yes, thinks.” I narrow my eyes slowly. “I don't belong to anyone but myself. My body and my life are mine to control, and being someone's girlfriend isn't gonna change that.”

“Usually, at this point, I'd admit how turned on I am but I think I'll just go for this: Maddie, you're mine. Like it or not, you are.” He cups my cheek.

“Your girlfriend. That's it. I still don't belong to you.”

“Why are you turning this into an argument?” he growls.

“I'm not!” I protest. “I just don't do that caveman thing, okay?”

“You are!”

“Now who's arguing?”

“Maddie.”

“Braden.”

“Do you ever shut up?”

“No. I don't.”

“Fantastic. I had to pick the girl who always talks.”

“Then I'll go and talk to someone who'll listen that isn't stuck in the Stone Ages!” I snatch my hand from his and spin towards the door.

“No you won't!” He growls again and pins me to the door.

“Stopping me already?” He's infuriating. Why am I doing this stupid challenge again?

“No, I'm just wondering if you're better at kissing than you are at talking.” His eyes fix on my lips, and my tongue flicks out, wetting them.

“Maybe I am, but if you keep talking you'll never find out, will you?”

He drops his head and softly presses his lips against mine. One of his hands slide around my waist, pulling me against him, and the other slides through my hair. I gasp as he gently sucks my bottom lip, and he takes his chance, slipping his tongue into my mouth. My hands grip his arms, slide across his shoulders, and link behind his neck.

He's soft yet probing as he kisses me, and I can't help the sprint my heart has entered. I simultaneously hate him and want him, and those feelings collide inside me, mixing into something indiscernible.

Heat spreads through my body, and Braden pulls me even closer to him. I'm flush against him, feeling every curve and definition of muscle on his torso. I unlink my hands and slip them upwards into his hair, wrapping my fingers around it.

“Maddie,” he whispers against my mouth, pulling back slightly. “We have to stop, or I won't be able to.”

Stop? Stop what? The kissing? Oh. Really?

“Okay,” I reply.

“Angel, it's only because I know you're not like most girls. We'll go further when you're ready, okay?”

I nod, and he kisses me again, a lingering touch on my swollen lips.

He slides his hand down so they're both on my back and dips his head into my neck. He buries his face in my hair, and I turn my head into him, letting him hold me.

In this second, I'm not thinking about the challenge. I'm not thinking about Brooklyn, or why I hate Braden. All I'm thinking is that kiss was the best damn kiss I've ever had.

And that could be a problem.

Chapter Twelve - Braden

I wake up and shake my head at myself. Yesterday runs through my mind on fast-forward, and I remember – I have a girlfriend. Fuck. That's weird.

And then there was Kyle. The guy has a real stick up his ass about me being with Maddie – and not that I blame him, if I was him, I probably would too. I know what half the people at the party last night were thinking. They were wondering why Maddie is so different from the others and what's so special about her. The girls were cursing her for taking what they wanted, and the guys were slinking back into their dark corners, their chances at seducing her shot to hell.

Well, fuck them all.

“Well?” Ryan opens my door.

“Don't bother knocking,” I say sarcastically, putting my phone down. “I love it when assholes barge in on me.”

“Uh, yeah.” He raises an eyebrow and shuts the door, sitting on my desk chair. “What was that shit about?”

“I was about to kiss her. Seal the deal on this challenge then you fuckin' called me.”

“Shit, man. Sorry. If I'd have known-”

“You'd be damn psychic.” I laugh and sit up in bed. “Doesn't matter.”

“You sealed it then?”

“Last night after my caveman performance.”

“Caveman performance?” He snickers.

“Her words, man, her words.” I smirk and grab my phone, waving it in his direction. “Do you mind? I have to text my girlfriend.”

Ryan lets out a loud laugh and slaps his leg. “Fuck me, that's a good one. Did you just say girlfriend?”

“You deaf? Course I did.”

“Wait, you're serious?” He stops laughing.

“Dude, we're official. You should have known it wouldn't have taken me long to make it exclusive.” I waggle my little finger at him. “See this? She's wrapped right round it.”

Chapter Thirteen - Maddie

“See this?” I waggle my little finger around the room. “He's wrapped right round it.”

“I don't doubt it,” Megan smirks. “I saw him go mental on Kyle, remember?”

Kay leans back on her bed, crossing her arms behind her head and sighing happily. “This shit is entertaining. And so fuckin' satisfying.”

“Satisfying?” Lila looks at her.

“Yeah. Braden Carter, Mr. Playboy himself is wrapped around little old Maddie's baby finger. He's like a fly in a spider's web.”

“Except I'm not gonna eat him for dinner,” I remind her. “I'm no cannibal.”

“Well.” She rolls over slightly and waggles her eyebrows. “You could always-”

“Stop,” Megan orders. She holds her hand up. “No further, Kayleigh. That is quite enough.”

“Filthy mind.” Lila giggles. I grin, and Megan pulls out the OPTP plan.

“So, we're a day ahead of schedule.” She runs a finger down it. “Good going, Mads. What's happening today? Are you seeing each other?”

“Uh, I'm not sure.” I smile sheepishly. “But I finally gave him my number.” Kay woots. “So he'll probably call or something.”

My phone chimes, and I reach for it.

“Speak of the devil,” Lila smirks.

Morning, Angel. Free today?

I look up from the message, shake my phone and grin. “Bingo.”

Slow, mischievous smiles break out on the three faces in front of me, and I know it's about to go down. Megan licks her lips.

“Don't text back yet.” She uncaps her pen. “After last night, Stage Two should be pretty easy. He went all protective on your pretty ass, and everyone at the frat party would have seen it, heard it, or heard of it.”

“No one will believe it, though,” Lila points out.

“Then whenever you're in public, you make sure you're touching, laughing, or kissing.” Kay sighs. “Not hard, guys. Jesus.”

Megan chucks the pen cap at her. “Attitude, Kayleigh.”

“Shut up.” Kay chucks it back.

“Kids.” I laugh. “What's the plan? I know one is coming.”

“It is.” Megan scribbles something, putting an exaggerated dot at the end. “You'll double date with Ryan and Lila one night this week.”

“What?” Lila and I say simultaneously.

“You'll double date with Ryan and Lila,” she repeats.

“What?”

“You. Will. Double. Date. With. Ryan. And. Lila,” Kay says slowly, pronouncing each word perfectly.

“I heard it the first time,” I say through clenched teeth. “No offence, Lila, but if there's anything worse than dating Braden Carter, its double dating with Ryan.”

“You're actually kinda lucky it's Ryan,” Lila muses. “He's a pain in the ass, but Aston is way worse.”

“This is true,” Kay agrees. “But Aston is one hot mofo.”

“I thought you preferred girls?”

“I do. Doesn't mean I don't like a bit of-”

“Okay!” I interrupt to Kay's laughter. “When is this date happening? I need to mentally prepare myself.”

“And text Bray back,” Megan replies.

“Oh, yeah.” I unlock my phone and look at the screen. “Um, what do I say?”

They all sigh. “What did he say?”

“Asked me what I was doing.”

“Then tell him you're free.”

“Okay.”

Morning :) nothing planned. You?

I press send and shrug. “Seems easy enough.”

I was hoping to see you. Maybe we could redo the coffee thing? he replies.

I'm sure we can. Meet you there in a half hour?

See you then.

“I'm meeting him at Starbucks in a half hour,” I announce.

“I'm coming!” Megan caps the pen and grins.

“Doesn't that defy the date thing?” Lila raises an eyebrow.

“No.”

“How doesn't it?”

Megan sighs and rolls her eyes. “Me and Bray are like family, right? Everyone always thinks there's something between us – and there absolutely is not, like, ew – so by seeing the three of us together, everyone will know they're serious. They'll see that there's nothing between me and Bray, that there is between him and Mads, and that she accepts the closeness of our non-related brother-sister relationship, therefore solidifying the belief that Braden and Maddie are dating. Seriously dating.”

“But there's nothing between us.” Confusing. Remind me why I'm doing this again?

Because I hate everything he represents to females. And he's a good kisser.

And that's totally contradictory.

“You know that. I know that. Lila and Kay know that, but, Mads, Braden doesn't.” She straightens out her outfit.

“Neither does the rest of campus,” Kay finishes. “So, to the rest of the world, there is something between you.”

“Great.” I sigh. “You couldn't challenge me to something easy or fun, could you?” Because I absolutely did not have fun last night. Dammit.

“Never.” Lila taps a message out on her phone. “Everyone's going to the beach tonight. Another chance to spread the word that Braden Carter has been reeled in.”

Kay grins. “Spread the word? I'm on it.” She grabs her cell, and I shake my head.

“Shall we leave them to it, Megs?” I stand up and grab my stuff. “They look like they have it under control.”

Megan's light blue eyes sparkle. “Let's go.”

Chapter Fourteen - Braden

I hear Megan's laugh before I see her and Maddie round the corner. Company. Brilliant. I know what she's doing here. Meggy will give me the creepy silent 411 with her eyes-thing she does.

Ignoring my best friend of a lifetime, I focus on Maddie. If I was going to fake date someone, then fuck me, I chose a gem with her. Her figure is obvious even in a denim skirt and simple shirt - she's not skinny and she's not overly curvy. She has a perfect mixture of toned muscle and curve that has me itching to run my hands across every inch of her bare skin. That kiss last night didn't help matters. I felt that damn body against me.

Shaking off my x-rated thoughts, I grin at her when she stops in front of me. She smiles at me, and I bend down slowly, cupping her head and capturing her soft lips with mine. One of her hands rests on my waist to steady her, and the other grips the arm holding her. She responds to the kiss almost eagerly, and I'm in no hurry to pull away.

This girl can do crazy shit with her mouth on mine. I'm not gonna lie and say I don't want that mouth elsewhere on me, 'cause I do, but until that happens I could stand here and kiss her all damn day.

Megan coughs discreetly, and I reluctantly release Maddie.

“Good morning, Angel,” I say softly.

“Good morning.” She bites her top lip and looks up at me with those pretty little eyes.

“Good morning, Bray. I'd ask you how you are today, but you seem pretty damn good,” Megan says sarcastically.

“Good morning, Meggy.” I wrap my arm around Maddie. “I'm fine and dandy this morning. How are you?”

“Oh, you heard me then?” She rolls her eyes. Maddie smirks next to me.

I tug on her hair. “I'd have to be seriously hearing-impaired to not hear you.”

“That, or busy playing a serious game of tonsil tennis.” She opens the door to Starbucks and winks at me.

“No tonsils involved,” Maddie replies casually. “I haven't had my coffee yet. If he'd tried that, I would have bitten him.”

Maddie Stevens, biting me? Yes. Fucking. Please.

“Sounds promising,” I mutter. Megan elbows me.

“Pig.”

“You should know I'm a pig.” We approach the counter. “I don't know why you're surprised.”

“What can I get for you?” the barista says. I think it's the same one as the other day - and she's hot. Dark where Maddie is fiery and maybe a little more meat on her bones. Still, I'd give her one. Or two.

“I got this.” I wink at Maddie. “Two grande double chocolate chip fraps.”

“Impressive.” She looks up at me and smiles.

“I got it right?”

“Yes, but you forgot the muffins.”

I laugh and pull her a little closer to me. “And two blueberry muffins.”

“And I'll have a caramel frap with extra cream,” Meggy puts in. “He's paying.”

I shrug as if to say 'what can I do?' but I don't care. It's fucking coffee.

The barista bustles around making them and sets them on the counter, sticking her chest in my direction. Her name tag tells me she's Amanda. Like I care - her name is irrelevant.

I pick up a coffee and hand it to Maddie, training my eyes to ignore the way Amanda's boobs are popping out of her blouse. Shit, this exclusive shit is hard work. Maddie takes the coffee and curls right into my side, shooting Amanda a look. Oh yeah, the girl has it bad for me.

“He has a girlfriend, obviously.” Meggy picks up her cup. “Don't be so cheap.”

I smirk, and Maddie sputters on the mouthful of coffee she's just taken. I rub her back soothingly. “You okay, Maddie?”

“Fine,” she squeaks. “Just fine.”

Meggy smiles at Amanda and turns to the plush sofas in the far corner of the room. I lead Maddie over and slide in next to her, making sure my leg touches hers. She settles her coffee on the table and picks at her muffin the same way she did on Tuesday, popping small pieces between those lips of hers.

I'd love to be that muffin right now.

I watch, mesmerized by the way she licks her lips after every bite, her tongue flicking out daintily to wipe away the crumbs. I'd love to be those crumbs too.

“Braden?”

I turn to look at Meggy. “What?”

“I said, are you going to the beach party tonight?” A slow, knowing smile breaks out on her face. She caught me watching Maddie. Busted.

“Depends,” I answer, sliding my hand onto Maddie's thigh. Her skin is silky smooth, like marble. My dick stirs, and I instantly imagine those thighs wrapped around my waist.... My legs… My neck....

“On what?”

“If my girl is going.” My eyes meet hers, and I draw gentle circles on her bare skin. Fuck. I'm actually torturing myself.

“Lila said earlier that she and Ryan are going. I don't mind,” she says. “It could be fun.”

“Then yes, I'm going,” I tell Meggy. Her lips purse into an amused smile, and I graze my teeth along my bottom lip. “What?”

“Nothing.” She relaxes back into her seat. “Nothing at all.”

Fucking liar.

The door opens, and I glance over. I glance again - and one of the girls is Blondie from last weekend. The one I blew off. This could be a little awkward.

She looks over at me and wiggles her fingers. “Hi, Braden!”

I see Maddie's eyes flick towards her, back to me, back to her. I know she's making the connection, and I know what she's thinking. Shit.

I take my hand from her thigh and link my fingers through hers, bringing her hand to my mouth and pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. She looks at me and her eyes are guarded, hardened, and definitely not showing the playful look she had in them earlier.

“Do you always ignore the girls you sleep with?” she asks quietly, looking at a spot on the wall behind me. Meggy gets up, mumbling something about needing the ladies room. Whatever.

“Maddie, I didn't sleep with her.” I tug her hand. “She tried, but I wasn't interested. Not after I saw you that night.”

At least that isn't a lie.

Her green eyes collide with mine. “I don't know whether to believe you or not. She looks like she knows you pretty well.”

“If she does it's because she spent the better part of twenty minutes rubbing her surgically enhanced body up against me while I watched you.”

She scoffs and shakes her head. “Wow. Is that a compliment or an insult?”

I don't think I'm supposed to answer that. Am I? Girls are fucking complicated.

“Believe me when I say I've only got eyes for you. I'm not interested in anyone else.” When we're alone. I turn her face towards mine gently and lean in. “Just you, Angel, okay? Not Blondie over there.”

I brush her lips with mine. This might be a game, but I could get used to kissing her.

She smiles against my mouth. “Blondie? Don't you even know her name?”

I pull away so our foreheads are touching. “No, like I said, I was too busy watching you to care if her name was Laura or fuckin' Popsicle.”

Maddie giggles and I grin.

“Okay,” she says softly. “I believe you.”

“Good,” I mutter and kiss her again, for longer this time.

That was a fucking close call.

Chapter Fifteen - Maddie

“The whole 'do you always ignore the girls you sleep with?' line was magic, Maddie. Pure freakin' magic.” Megan laughs across the room. I pause, my mascara wand suspended in mid-air and smile at her through the mirror. I'm glad she's thinking about the plan, because I'm not.

I'm too preoccupied with how I feel when he's touching me.

When he did the hand on thigh move earlier I wanted to castrate him. Really, I wanted to rip off his gentlemanly parts and rub them against a cheese grater. Repeatedly. When he started rubbing my leg, I wanted to punch him, yet when he took his hand away I wanted to grab it and demand he left it there.

That thought makes me feel slightly ill. I wanted Braden Carter to touch me, and when he did I enjoyed it. I damn well enjoyed that innocently sexy move he did with the pad of his thumb against the inside of my leg. This plan is getting dangerous.

It's a week in and already I can feel a little crack against my attraction to him. Yeah, the same attraction I locked away in a steel box complete with heavy duty padlock and a coded password.

What gets me is how I could be disgusted with him one minute and kissing him the next. And I didn't care. I still don't care. Ugh, how can I like kissing someone I hate so much? I need to remember this is a game, and to win I have to play. I have to play by the rules. His rules. The only way to win is by playing by the rules of the player.

Sex governs the game. It's the aim, the grand prize. Anything other than sexual attraction and feelings of sexual want don't have a place here, not on my watch.

One week down and three to go. He's feeling more than just sex with me, that much is clear. My act is believable, and I know he's falling for it. And me.

I just have to remember to hate him.

~

My hair blows in the wind, and I scrape it round my neck, holding it to one side. The breeze is a welcome addition to the too-hot fall weather, so I don't mind. I just wish I'd thought to bring a hairband with me.

Lila hums loudly as we step onto the sound, following the sounds of laughter and cheering to the far end of the beach. The whole freshman year is here, it seems, and music is pumping from somewhere. A bonfire is being set up, and I hear Megan's groan.

“Why do they need a bonfire? It's still 80 degrees out.”

“Because they're cool.” Kay laughs. “Dicks.”

I grunt my agreement and look through the crowd, my eyes searching for Braden. Do I get five minutes to actually enjoy this party before I'm forced into playing the doting new girlfriend?

Apparently so.

We find a spot, and Lila immediately begins to examine the sand for pebbles and driftwood. God help any piece of driftwood that scratched or grazed her leg. Apparently deeming it safe to sit, she settles down and leans back against a tree. Megan shakes her head, and both she and Kay drop themselves to the sand. I follow suit, but more conservatively than they did it.

I run my fingers through my hair, loosening small tangles from the soft curls at the ends. Sand shifts behind me. Two hands grip my waist, and I jump, letting out a shriek.

“What the-” I turn to look straight into bright blue, amused eyes. “Braden. You scared me.”

“I'm sorry, Angel. I thought I'd surprise you,” he replies, shifting and moving closer to me.

“I think you achieved that,” I mutter, hating the way his skin feels against mine. Or am I hating the fact I like how it feels? I don't even know.

He rests his chin on my shoulder, pressing his cheek against mine. “I thought you were starting the party without me, girls.”

“Like we'd ever do that,” Kay says in a fake pleasant tone. “We all know you're the life and soul of the party, Carter.”

“Put your claws away, kitty.” Lila shoves a plastic cup in her face. “Then shut up and drink.”

“Yes, zookeeper.” Kay rolls her eyes, and Lila smirks before turning to Braden.

“Where's Ryan?”

“He's grabbing beer from the car with Aston. They'll be here in a minute,” Braden replies, moving his head so his breath fans across my cheek.

“Lila, can I have a drink?” I ask her. I need something to stay sane tonight.

“My work is done.” Kay throws her hands up, her cup resting in the sand. “I have successfully corrupted Maddie.”

“Not completely,” Megan half-smiles. “She still doesn't swear or sleep with everything in sight.”

“She isn't going to, either,” Braden mutters. “The sleeping with everything part, that is.”

“Because you're a fine one to talk.” Lila raises an eyebrow.

“Hey.” He points a finger at her. “I was single then. I'm a changed man.”

I want to roll my eyes. Several times. Of course he is – and if he isn't, he soon will be, courtesy of yours truly. Because I can do this.

Lila rolls her eyes for me, and Ryan and Aston approach us. Ryan beelines for Lila while Aston casually sits near Megan. Oh ho, does someone have a little crush? No, that would be stupid. The only thing he has a crush on is what's inside her panties.

“You're quiet,” Braden says softly to me.

I smile and turn my face into him. “I'm just listening.”

“Oh, you can listen?” He tickles my side slightly, and I wriggle.

“Don't tickle me.” I squirm.

“Why? Are you ticklish?”

“I'm not. Nope. Not. At. All.”

“I bet you are.”

“I'm not!”

He moves his fingers against my waist, and I squeal, moving and wriggling in his hold to get away.

“Braden, stop!” I sputter out through controlled laughter.

“Not until you say you're ticklish,” he teases and tickles me some more.

I shriek and fall backwards, kicking up a little bit of sand. He comes down with me, half lying on me, his arm still around my waist.

“Say it,” he whispers, looking into my eyes.

“No,” I whisper back. “I won't give in.”

“Neither will I.” He drops his head, and his lips capture mine, soft and warm. My eyes flutter shut, and my hand rests against his neck. My fingers press into his skin, holding him to me.

Braden flicks his tongue out and runs it along my bottom lip, sucking it gently into his mouth. His teeth graze it slightly, nibbling as he releases it. I ignore the gasp wanting to escape from my mouth and the heat spreading down through my body. It pools in the pit of my stomach like molten lava, a swirling, boiling mass of want and need.

And then I remember that I hate him.

“Hey,” I groan. “No distracting me with kisses.”

He pulls his head up and grins at me. It's a kind of sexy grin, and one I'd melt at if it was anyone other than Braden. Yes – Braden. Playboy, player, user of women for his own pleasure.

Yep. That did it.

I slide to the side of him and sit up, shaking sand out of my hair.

“Watch where you're flingin' that shit.” Kay bats at my hair. “That could take my eye out. It's a lethal fuckin' weapon, Mads!”

“Oh, shut up, you.” I flick her with the ends my curls and notice the others have disappeared. “Where did everyone go?”

“They went to get food from the barbecue while you and Casanova were sucking face.”

I shake my head. She can be crude sometimes, but it's just her. I wouldn't want it any other way.

“Hey, Kay.” Braden leans round me. “Isn't that your friend over there? Darla or whatever she's called?” Oh, great.

Kay huffs. “If you wanna be alone, just say.” She stands, gives me a playful salute, and saunters off to where the blonde bombshell that is Darla is standing.

I turn my face and look out past the fire and the partying to the water as it rolls up the sand. It's always the same at the parties. Whether it's a frat party, a dorm party, or a beach party. I always feel like the only one not enjoying it.

After six months of following my old best friend round them while she chased after my brother, only to get her heart broken, can you blame me? No. I don't blame me either.

“You're somewhere else,” Braden observes. Remembering I hate him would be so much easier if he wasn't already so tuned into me.

“Just thinking,” I reply, keeping my eyes trained on the clear blue sea. “You don't have to stay here, you know. You can go find the guys.”

“No.” He leans against the tree and pats the space next to him. Sigh.

I crawl backwards and sit next to him, curling into his side as he wraps an arm around me. I rest my head on his shoulder, and he lifts my legs so they're resting over his. He brings his knees up, and I'm wrapped around him like a blanket. His cheek leans against the top of my head.

I can feel the eyes of people from the party on us. It's making my hairs stand on end, making me want to get up and run away from this whole fake production.

But then – then there's a little part of me enjoying it.

Chapter Sixteen - Braden

I learned three things last night.

One, Maddie Stevens fits in my arms perfectly. Two, I want to fuck her, badly. Like, really fuckin' badly. And three, her hair smells like apples.

It's been nine days since Ryan and Aston challenged me to make Maddie fall in love with me, giving the limit of a month to do it. I won't need a damn month at this rate. She's falling – and she's falling hard and fast. I give it ten days, and I'll prove to them I can do it and then I'll walk away from her.

Because, let's face it, if I was a falling in love kinda guy, I'd fall in love with someone like her. Under that curvy body, fiery hair, and behind those pretty green eyes is a girl unlike anyone I know. I'm also pretty damn sure I won't meet anyone like her either.

And that's the problem. When she smiles at me, really smiles, I can see her turning me into a falling in love kinda guy. That makes her dangerous, too fuckin' dangerous, and I gotta get her in bed and walk away before it's too late.

She's tapping a message out on her cell with her brow furrowed as she walks around the corner towards me. Her hair is swept to one side, hiding her face from the rest of the world. I step out from where I was waiting in the stairwell and grab her hand, twirling her into me.

She looks up at me with wide eyes and leans against my chest. “Dammit, Braden! You have to stop doing that to me.”

“Doing what?” I grin down at her.

“Scaring me,” she huffs, pocketing her phone.

“Everything okay?” I push her hair back from her face.

“Yeah, just my brother.” She frowns again and shakes her head. “Doesn't matter. He's just being his usual stupid self.”

“Sure?” I smooth the frown lines out with my thumb.

“Yep,” she says brightly. A little too brightly. She smiles but there's no light in it, not like there was last night. And I'll be damned if I wanna find out what's going on instead of wanting to fuck her in every possible way right now.

It's because she's Megan's friend. That explains the whole caring thing that's starting to go on here. Of course.

I kiss her forehead and link our fingers. We leave the stairwell and head towards the campus cafeteria. It's not the best food in the world, but I know she has a class in half hour. I swear she takes every damn class possible.

We follow the line through and find a small table in the corner. I've already noticed she hates being the center of attention.

She's picking at her food and barely eating any of it. I want to talk to her, but I haven't got a clue what to say. I must be the most insensitive guy ever, but feelings have never mattered much to me. To me, the only feelings that mean anything and are real are in the bedroom.

Until I look into Maddie's sad eyes. Then her feelings are very, very real.

Instead of talking, I settle for sliding my hand across the table and taking hers in mine. I've seen guys do it in those stupid movies Meggy's made me watch. Maddie looks up and gives me a sad, worried smile and I figure it's comforted her some.

What the fuck do I know?

“Hey, Braden.” A girl with long, blonde hair approaches me. The perfect distraction.

If I wasn't in this fucking fake relationship.

“Hi?” I reply. I'm pretty sure I should know her name, but I'm drawing a blank.

“So I was wondering if you were free tonight. We could, y'know, pick up where we left off last time?” She twirls some hair round her finger and juts out a hip.

Fuck. Why does this shit keep happening?

“No, sorry.” I say, feeling Maddie's eyes on me. “I'm not available anymore.”

“What do you mean, not available?” Blonde girl looks between us. Are all the girls I sleep with blonde? Shit.

“As in, I have a girlfriend.”

“Who happens to be sitting right across from him,” Maddie mumbles. There isn't enough 'shits' for how I feel right in this moment. Why is it always chicks that can mess up my carefully laid plan?

“Oh, yes. I didn't notice you there.” Blonde girl turns to Maddie. “I mean, you're not his usual type, honey.”

“Maybe that's why I'm his girlfriend, and you're a discarded weekend fuck whose name he can't even remember, honey.”

Did Maddie just cuss? Holy fuck. She did. Did she get abducted by aliens overnight?

I look between the two girls. Blonde girl is staring daggers at the side of Maddie's head, while she carries on casually picking at her food as if she hadn't just said something completely out of character.

“Maybe you should go.” I nod towards the blonde girl. She gives Maddie one last evil glare and turns back to me, a sweet smile on her face.

“When you're done with her, call me, okay?” She turns and walks away, exaggerating the sway of her hips.

“You have a really bad taste in girls,” Maddie says when blonde girl has disappeared.

Apparently so. “Are you included in that?”

She looks up at her, her previously sad eyes now as cold as ice. This look would freeze hell, I'm sure of it.

“Don't fuck with me, Braden. Not today. I'm not gonna sit here and deal with a bunch of fake-boobed whores coming up to me and telling me how I'm not your 'usual type'.” She snatches her hand from mine and gets up, storming past me.

I lean my head back, sigh, and get up to follow her. Why, oh why, is this so fucking hard?

I follow her out the doors to an area shaded by trees. She's standing there, sunlight glinting off the top of her head where she's not fully under the cover of trees. Her arms are folded over a heaving chest, and she leans against a tree trunk, resting her head back against the rough bark of the trunk.

“Now, Angel,” I say, approaching her. “Why don't you tell me what that was all about?”

“I'm not in the mood to discuss your previous bed-mates, Braden,” she replies, her eyes closed.

“I'm not talking about that.” I move closer to her. “Why don't you tell me where those cuss words came from, because I'm pretty sure I haven't heard you cuss. Ever.”

“A bad day. A slip up. Ignore it.”

“Why would I ignore it?”

“Because I said to.”

“If you're having a bad day, talk to me. It's what I'm here for, right?” I pause. “I said I wanted to be there for you, so let me.”

She laughs bitterly and shakes her head. Her eyes open and that hardened, guarded look is glossing over the bright green I'm getting so accustomed to.

“My life before Berkeley and yours were very, very different. You can't even imagine it, so there's no point in talking. You wouldn't understand.”

“Then help me to.” I put a hand against the trunk, standing in front of her. Her eyes meet mine. “Help me understand. Help me help you.”

She bites her top lip. “Not today,” she whispers. “I just, can't talk right now.”

I slide my hand behind her neck and tug her to me, pressing her body against me. She flattens her hands against my stomach and pushes back.

“No,” I say into her ear. “If you won't talk to me, Maddie, let me hold you. I can do that, at least.”

She freezes, stuck in a state of indecision, before relaxing into me and wrapping her arms around my waist.

“I'm sorry,” she murmurs. “For being a raging bitch.”

“Don't be,” I reply, stroking the back of her head. I saw that in a movie too. “I'm sorry.”

And I am. I just don't know what the hell I'm sorry for.

Chapter Seventeen - Maddie

My brother, currently three thousand miles away, still has the ability to mess my day – and my mood – up. And apparently, the ability to nearly mess up nine days of hard work with Braden.

But, really, who the hell walks up to someone in a college cafeteria and asks to finish what they started? It's vile, and reminds me exactly why I'm doing this. It also reinstates the hate for Braden I lost when he held me the way he did after my outburst.

I sigh, and my thoughts return to Pearce. Anger bubbles inside me, and I have the crazy urge to chuck my phone clear out of my dorm window. It would be so, so satisfying to see it smash into a million pieces on the sidewalk. Or, of course, I could just get a new number. That's probably the better idea, but nowhere near as invigorating.

I'm not surprised he's contacted me so soon after last time. I figured he wanted the money for rent, but I was wrong. Oh, so wrong.

There's one big difference between Pearce and Braden that I have to acknowledge. That difference would be in the form of illegal drugs.

Pearce turned to it when Mom was killed. It was his “escape.” There's nothing wrong with wanting an escape, but when that escape gives you a bigger down after, you have a problem. My darling brother solved that by getting more of the escape.

And this time he's run up a bill so bad that the eight hundred dollars already transferred from my bank doesn't even cover half of it.

Naturally, he told whoever he gets it from he'd get the money, assuming I'd hand it over like I always do, but this time I said no. I told him I wasn't going to bail him out anymore, and he went crazy.

His text message yesterday morning was informing me he was making arrangements to be here, and I should expect to see him next week sometime.

I click my tongue. Two different lives merging. Everyone here knows I have an older brother back in Brooklyn but they don't know the details. Besides Kay, Megan and Lila, only Braden knows about Mom being killed. No one never asked, and I've never felt like offering up that information.

But Pearce, here? The idea scares me, because I know what he's like. After all, didn't I watch him dominate, control and drive my best friend to attempted suicide, all because of his drug addiction and inferiority complex?

“Argh!” I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands, digging them in as if it can pull away the memories of last year. I should be so lucky.

The bright colors of our Operation Play the Player poster catch my eye. Day ten, and I'm even more determined than ever to see this through. For what feels like the hundredth time in two days, I build a wall around my heart.

Despite everything bad, Megan was right. Braden is caring, sweet, and thoughtful. He does have a heart, somewhere, at least.

But, so did Pearce before he ripped out Abbi's heart.

~

I walk across the lawn towards Braden's frat house. We haven't really spoken since my outburst in the cafeteria yesterday, so I know I need to 'patch things up' for the sake of the plan. All I really want to do is run away and hide somewhere Pearce can't find me.

Lila lets me in at the door. “He's out the back, come on.”

I smile gratefully at her, but I still sigh.

“Hey.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders. “It'll be okay. Even if he does show, we'll all be there. Promise. You won't be alone.”

“I know.” I drop my eyes to the ground as she opens the door.

“Time out!” Braden calls. I look up again, and I'm met by a sweaty, shirtless Braden jogging towards me. His face breaks out into a smile, and he hops onto the small porch. “Hey, Angel.”

“Hey,” I say quietly. “Braden-”

“If you're gonna apologize about yesterday, then stop right there.” He steps towards me and brushes some hair away from my eye. “We're all entitled to a freak-out once in a while, right?”

“Right.” I smile at him. “So, we're good?”

He laughs. “Maddie, we never weren't good. I just figured you needed time to cool down.”

I nod in agreement, and he reaches out to tuck me into his side. We rest back on the porch, our backs to the rest of the field. My hand rests on his stomach, and with my decision to finish this fresh in my mind, I take the game up another level.

I trace the grooves in his torso with the tip of my finger, my thumb brushing the solid packs of muscle as I go. His grip on my waist tightens as I approach the subtly defined 'v' by the waistband of his shorts. I feel him shiver, and his free hand clamps down onto mine an inch before I reach his shorts.

“Maddie,” he whispers in a deeper voice than I've ever heard him use. “If I were you, I'd stop there.”

Bingo.

“Why?” I smile, amused, and look up at him. “I was only wondering if that muscle went as far down as it looks like it does.”

He turns to me, his electric blue eyes clouding over with desire.  “It goes further.”

I bite my top lip, pulling the corner of it into my mouth and glance down at our clasped hands. He clears his throat, and I snap my eyes to his.

“Sorry,” I whisper. “Just curious.”

Braden moves his head down, putting his lips next to my ear. “Angel, you can be curious all you like, but unless you want my frat brothers to see what you look like in your birthday suit, it's wise if you stop right there.”

Warmth erupts in my belly. Holy... I swallow. This is totally turning around on me. I can't even do justice to the turned-on tone of his voice. It's a husky, masculine sound that vibrates right through my body. I can feel it wrapping around every inch of my skin.

“Okay,” I breathe out. “I'll stop.”

I slide my hand out from under his and up his body, reaching his shoulder and trailing it down his arm. Goose-pimples erupt in my hand's wake, and he makes a growling sound deep in his throat. I control my smile, linking my fingers through his bigger ones.

I said I'd stop. I didn't say when.

He exhales loudly, his breath fluttering my hair. “Maddie.”

“I've stopped.” I bite my lip. “Sorry.”

He shakes his head, smiling and leans his forehead against mine. I look up into his eyes, my eyelashes tickling my skin. He rubs the tip of his nose against mine and gently tips his head so his lips brush mine. I move up to my tip toes, squeezing his hand. I wrap my free arm around his neck gently, returning the kiss.

So I like kissing the guy I hate. Shoot me.

“Hey, Carter! Put my girl down!” Kay yells, a door slamming behind her. I smile against Braden's lips and drop back down from my tip toes.

“Hey, Kay,” I greet her, turning round.

She looks between me and Braden. “You two are like a walking porn movie.”

“Hey, can't I kiss my girl now?” Braden looks at her. “It's not my fault if I want to show her off.”

I blush a little. A forced blush. A very forced blush. No, I'm lying. It wasn't forced at all. Crap.

“You can.” She sniffs. “Just not when I'm around.”

Megan slaps the back of her arm. “Don't be so fucking grumpy. It's nice to see them happy!”

I smile at her.

“Thank you, Meggy.” Braden grins at her. Kay huffs, flips him off, and turns to join Lila and Ryan. “Man, she really hates me, huh?”

“It's because you don't have a vagina.” Megan giggles. “At least, I hope you don't.”

“I can assure you,” Braden replies, looking right at me. “There is no vagina in my pants.”

I bite my lip again to stop myself from grinning like crazy.

So I skipped a stage. This one is way more fun.

Chapter Eighteen - Braden

I'm fucked. Genuinely fucked.

Maddie's hand trailing down my stomach equaled an instant, rock hard, raging hard on. My dick standing to attention so fast it could well have been doing an army drill.

I curse the fact she's not like my usual girls. Usually, a suggestive smile and a wink is all that's needed. But no, I have to wine and fucking dine Maddie. I might as well serenade her under the fucking stars – and you know what? If I could sing, I damn well would.

Because I have to want what I can't have, all the time. And Maddie? Maddie is at the top of that list. Hell, she's at the top of every fucking list I own.

She is so damn untouchable, like a rare stone in a museum surrounded by laser lights. I feel like a ninja, dodging one more laser light daily and getting one step closer to worming my way into her heart.

But then, do I want her in love with me? The problem with this challenge is that it's not just a quick roll in the hay. I have to get to know her, I have to pretend to care about her – but when does pretending start becoming real?

I know her mom was killed. I know she's not close to her brother, that she loves her dad, and I also know that when she's in a bad mood her dirty mouth can rival mine on a good day. And that's sexy, on her.

Prim, proper Maddie going bad is the biggest fuckin' turn on I've ever had.

Shit.

I get up, slamming my bedroom door behind me. I can't stay in my room thinking about her. I practically run into Aston and Ryan at the bottom of the stairs and grab their arms, shoving them through the front door and round the side of the house.

“Dude? What the fuck?” Aston rubs his arms.

“You two.” I look between them. “Are driving me fucking crazy.”

“What?”

“This challenge. Do you know how hard it is to have that hot piece of ass rubbing up against me, knowing I can't drag her off to fuck her?” I resist the urge to slam my fist into the wall.

Ryan smirks. “You agreed, bro. I was only kidding, but then you agreed. You can't back out now. She's wrapped around your little finger.”

“Yeah, and that's the problem.” I look at him pointedly. “I don't want her wrapped around my little finger. I want her wrapped round my fucking dick.”

“So just drag her off to bed,” Aston suggests. “You two were getting' pretty cozy last night, if you get what I mean.”

“It hasn't even been two weeks, man.” I shake my head. “I can't even consider that until next week. She's attracted to me, and she's falling, but she's not fallen. She won't do it until she's full on in love with me. It doesn't help that girls I can't even remember keep coming up and asking me for another go.”

Both guys burst out laughing.

“Dude, you're joking, right?” Aston leans against the wall.

“I fuckin' wish.” I rub my forehead. “It's like, they see me with my fake girlfriend and all of a sudden I'm the sexiest thing on this damn campus.”

“I bet that isn't going down well,” Ryan muses. “With Maddie, that is. I bet you're loving it.”

“Actually, I fuckin' hate it.”

“You're joking? You actually hate it?”

“It's about as enjoyable as a hole in the head. That's how much I hate it. It doesn't help with the trust thing at all – especially since I can't remember them.”

Aston chuckles. “Send 'em my way next time. There's always space in my bed.”

“I'm sure there is,” I reply dryly. “What do I do about Maddie, though? She's driving me mad. She's like a walking sex advert to my brain.”

“Fuck her,” Ryan says simply. “You fuck her, get her out of your system. Just sooner than you already planned.”

~

Meggy's blonde hair bounces as she sits on my bed. “So, you and Maddie.”

“What about us?” I glance at her.

“You look pretty into her.”

Do I? “That's 'cause I am, Meggy.”

“Really, Bray? Because I know how well you can act. You can't hide anything from me.”

And that's the fucking problem. “I'm not acting. I like her.”

“Or do you like the sex you could get out of it?”

Seriously? “Meggy.”

“Bray.”

I look at her, and she raises her eyebrows. “I like her, I do. I mean, what's not to like?”

She leans back against the wall and crosses her arms across her chest. Her eyes bore into me, and I squirm slightly under her intense scrutiny. Shit. Why can she do this to me? How does she do it?

“I love you, Bray. You're like my brother, but if you're fucking her about, I will castrate you and hang your balls as a wind chime in the frat house front room window.” Ouch. I wince.

“I'm not fucking her around.” Much.

“Braden William Carter,” she snaps. “I mean it. I can read you like a book, and what you say and what you mean are two different things. But y'know what? What you mean and what you think are two different things, too.”

“Please, Meggy,” I say sarcastically. “Enlighten me on what I say, what I mean, and what I think.”

“What you say is that you want to be with her. What you mean is you want to sleep with her, and what you think is letting yourself feel for her what you do, in your heart, means you're a pussy.”

“What do you mean, letting myself feel something for her? I just admitted I like her.”

“Yes, Braden,” she says wryly. “But that's not what you mean. I'm not stupid. You're on some kick here with Maddie, and while it's not my business, I care about both of you. Unless you pull your brain from your dick, you're gonna end up hurt. Both of you will. Sex isn't everything.”

“I'm not in it for the sex.” I hate lying to her, but it has to be done.

“I call bullshit on that and every other lame-ass excuse you have stored in your brain, whichever part of your body it's currently residing in.” She jumps off the bed, crosses the room, and jabs a finger in my chest. “You, need to stop thinking you're the next Hugh Hefner and start thinking about how you actually feel. Your friends don't control you, Bray.”

“You just say that 'cause you think they're assholes.” I smirk.

“That's because they are assholes. Don't let them make you think that you should spend the next four years of your life at this college fucking everything with a pulse, because while you're busy getting it on, your future could be right in your line of sight. And y'know what else? Unless you open your eyes, you'll miss your future. She'll come and go so fast you'll blink, and you'll miss it.” She exhales and moves to the door. “Decide if Maddie is something with a pulse, or something more than that. She's been through too much to deal with your man-whore bullshit. Sit back and ask yourself what she is, not Tweedledick one and Tweedledick two.” She yanks the door open and slams it behind her.

“Fuck off,” I mutter, grabbing a pillow from the bed and chucking it at the closed door. “Fucking future. Bullshit.”

I'm almost nineteen. Who the fuck finds their future at this age?

Chapter Nineteen - Maddie

I've checked my cell obsessively since Monday. It's Wednesday, and I haven't heard a thing from Pearce. If he was telling the truth, a week from now I'll be looking into his pitiful eyes.

And that scares me.

I don't want him here, and there's only so much longer I can pretend and not tell the girls exactly what's happening. I don't want to keep it from them, but there isn't much I can do. If he isn't coming, then there's no need to tell them the gritty details of my life in Brooklyn. If he does come... Then it might be too late.

I hate not knowing. I hate the uncertainty that encompasses my brother in a thick cloud. Nothing with him is ever definite, except drugs. But then again, when is anything with anyone ever definite? It's not. Not ever.

I swallow my sigh, tapping my pen against the table. I glance at the clock for the thousandth time in ten minutes. The second hand is moving at a snail's pace, zero point zero miles per hour, it seems.

For the first time in my life, I actually want to see Braden. When he's around I have something to focus on, the challenge, the game. The need to win the game he doesn't even know is being played takes over.

But, does that compare me to my brother? Playing someone for your own satisfaction?

No. No, it's different. Meggy said the plan is for Braden, to make him a better person. I don't get satisfaction from it. Just frustration.

But it's still two lives merging into one. I'm sitting here, in class, the bad girl from Brooklyn, yet when I walk out of the door and see him, I'll be the California college good girl.

Finally the bell rings, and I grab all my stuff, all but running from the classroom. The air in it seems stifling, heavy with the silence from my brother. Every thought I've had in the last ten minutes swarms around in my mind, over and over and over.

I feel dizzy. I can't breathe, too much is creeping up on me. My brother and the events of the last year are creeping up on me from three thousand miles away. I put a hand over my eyes, determined to battle the hallways and get outside to the fresh air, to where I can breathe.

Two arms grab me, and in my panicked state, I scream. I'm pressed against a hard body and I recognize the woody smell. Braden. My hand not holding my books grips his shirt. I need something to ground me. It's an almost desperate move, but I don't care.

“Sssh,” he whispers. “I've got you. You're okay.”

I close my eyes and breathe deeply as he wraps his arms around me tightly. I bury my face into his chest. Grounding. Centering. I remember the breathing from the yoga classes I did in senior year of high school and chant the instructions in my mind, breathing in deeply, breathing out deeply.

The noise around us dies down, and I realize that I have no idea how long I've been standing in Braden's arms.

“Okay, Angel?” he asks softly.

“Yeah,” I whisper. “I think so.”

He runs a hand through my hair, his fingers tugging lightly at knots in my curls. “I didn't mean to scare you a minute ago. You looked like you were about to faint.”

“So you thought you'd come riding in like a knight in shining armor?” That thought is amusing.

“Something like that.” He chuckles. “What's up?”

“Oh, nothing,” I dismiss it and pull back, smiling up at him.

“Don't lie to me, Maddie. I can see in your pretty green eyes that something is bothering you.” He runs his thumb down the side of my face. I fight to keep my eyes open. “Talk to me.”

“It's just my brother.” I look down.

“I remember you saying you don't get along.”

“That's an understatement.” I snort. “He mentioned something about coming here.... And I.... I don't want him to. I don't want him to come here.”

“So tell him.”

“It's not like that. You don't just tell Pearce things.”

“Then what do you do?”

“It doesn't matter.” My eyes flick up to him and back down again. “It doesn't matter.”

Braden cups my chin, forcing my face upwards, but I keep my eyes trained downwards.

“Maddie, look at me.” I shake my head. “Maddie. Please.”

The tenderness in his voice cuts me and I break, looking back up at him. “What?”

“It does matter, okay?” he says softly. “It always matters.”

“No, it doesn't.”

“Why won't you talk to me?”

Because when you're like this, soft and caring, it's hard to remember that I hate you and this is a game. “I just can't talk about it, Braden.”

He sighs. “Why won't you let me in? Let me help you.”

Because you're the first person outside of the girls to actually care about me and show it since the day she died – and caring isn't good for anyone. Not when everything you think you know is a game.

~

“Why?” I look at the roller-skates in front of me. “Why? Why? Why?”

“I bet Megan thinks she's fucking hilarious,” Lila grumbles, looking at the skates with the same disdain I am.

“Why did we even let her organize this?” I mutter.

“I have no idea, but I'm never doing it again.”

“I am so with you there.”

Not only are they roller-skates, they're pink. Flippin' pink.

I do not do pink.

“Come on, you two!” Ryan skates up to us as if he's been doing it his whole life, which he probably has.

“Uhh.” Lila's still frozen in place, staring at the skates.

“Really, babe.” Ryan skates up to her. “It's not that hard.”

“Damn, Ryan,” she huffs. “How many times do you think I've ever skated in Washington? Really?”

“I kinda figured everyone had at some point.” He looks at me. “Don't tell me – you've never skated either, right, Maddie?”

“That would be correct,” I answer, finally looking up from the skates. “It's not really an 'in' thing in Brooklyn, funnily enough.”

“Damn city girls.” He shakes his head.

“Ah, they aren't that bad.” Braden skates backwards down the sidewalk towards us.

“Fucking show-off,” Lila mutters.

“I heard that, Lila.”

“You were supposed to, Braden.”

He stops in front of me. I look up at him. “What?”

“You've actually never skated before?”

“No.” I fold my arms across my chest. “No. Never.”

“Come on.” He takes my hands. “Put them on and try it. I promise its fun. Just try it, once.”

I look at the skates and back to him. He has a pleading, hopeful look on his face. “Will you stop with the puppy dog eyes?”

“Cross my heart.” He crosses his heart.

I sigh and sit down. “Fine.” I grab the skates and after taking my shoes off, I slip my feet in, only to fumble with the confusing buckles afterward.

Braden sighs and shakes his head. “Come here.” He bends down at the waist and tightens them all for me, snapping them into place.

He grabs my hands, hoisting me up, and I squeak as I roll forwards and straight into him. I put my hands on his chest to steady myself, ignoring the heavy pounding of my heart.

“You're fine.” He smirks, amused.

“Yep,” I reply. “I'm fine.”

“Let's go.” He grins and takes my hand, moving back from me.

I look forward and find Ryan pulling Lila along. Her feet are shoulder-width apart, and her legs are shaking. She looks a bit like a newborn foal trying to walk for the first time, and I giggle silently, knowing I probably look the same.

She glances over her shoulder at me and mouths “help me.” I shrug helplessly as Braden moves a little faster and I jolt forwards.

“Okay, slow, slow, slow!” I protest, waving my free arm in the air.

“Oh my god, Maddie,” he groans. “Really?”

“Yes! I've never done this before, ever.” I grunt. “Like, ever, Braden.”

“Fuck this,” Ryan snaps. “Crash course!” He skates around Lila and grips her waist before pushing her along the sidewalk. She screams out loud, and her hands go to where Ryan's are on her waist to steady herself.

“Ryan, you asshole!” I hear her shout before they disappear from view. I laugh and bend over at the side. Braden lets go of my hand and-

“No, no, no, Braden! Don't you dare!” I try to turn, and I feel his hands on my waist, his breath on my ear.

“Crash course, Angel.”

“No-” My protest turns to a scream as we shoot off down the concrete the way Lila and Ryan did. “Oh my god, oh my god.” I want to shut my eyes but no, that's not a good idea.

My heart is hammering against my chest, and I find myself gripping Braden's hands, my fingers slipping between his.

“It's not that bad.” He laughs into my ear.

“That depends on which side you're on,” I reply, my back going stiff. “Braden, I want to stop.”

“No.” He slides one of his arms around me and pulls me to him so my back is flush against his chest, both of our arms wrapping my stomach. “See? I've got you. It's fine, beautiful.”

“This is crazy. Never again is Megan organizing a date.”

“Yeah, she got a good one with this.” He laughs again, and I shake my head.

“No, no, she didn't. This is terrible.”

“Really? I would have thought that being up against me would be a good thing.”

“Maybe it would be if I could actually focus on the fact I'm pressed against your body.”

“Well, then.” He spins so he's in front of me, skating backwards.

“Braden, you can't see where we're going!”

“That's your job.”

“Oh my god.” I try looking over his shoulder, but I can't. He's too tall, dammit. “You're too tall!”

“Then you just have to trust me.” His lips take mine in a searing kiss, and I gasp inwardly, grabbing hold of him tightly. His hands find my waist and pull my hips against him, our speed slowing slightly. He goes to deepen the kiss, his tongue tracing between my lips, and I nip his bottom lip before I open to him. My fingers tangle in his hair as our tongues meet, starting an intricate dance of want.

For a second, I forget the game. I forget the fake relationship. I forget the fact I'm on rollerskates and Braden isn't-

“Oomph!” Braden grunts, hitting the grass. I laugh, rolling off him.

“I told you we didn't know where we were going!” I say through my laughter, blades of grass tickling my ears.

“Hey.” He rolls towards me, propping himself up on his elbow. His hair flops down towards my face, casting little shadows over my face. “I totally knew where we were going until you distracted me.”

“I distracted you? Oh no, mister. You kissed me, not the other way around.”

“And I didn't hear any complaints about that.”

“Maybe that's because there weren't any.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let's try again.”

I arch into him as he presses himself against me, his tongue slipping straight between my lips. I grip his hair again, holding his mouth against mine. He runs a hand down my side, igniting a blazing trail of goose-pimples beneath my clothing. My leg bends, leaning against his hip, and his hand finds my thigh, holding it underneath. His fingers stroke and probe the bare skin gently, and I press myself closer to him, on fire everywhere he's touched me.

He pushes his hips into me and I can feel him against my other thigh, hard and ready. I whimper deep in my throat, want for the guy I hate overtaking any other feelings in my body. It builds up, climbing higher and higher, and I know if we weren't in public there's no way I wouldn't end what he started.

I'm half considering it, and we're in the middle of a park.

His teeth graze my bottom lip as he pulls away. My eyes open to a mass of cloudy, electric blue need in his. He breathes out heavily, his eyes fixated on mine.

“Maddie, I-”

“There you are! Oh, shit!” Lila calls. “I didn't see anything. I promise. Carry on. I'm leaving now.”

I giggle and rest my forehead against Braden's shoulder, the moment between us broken.

“There's nothing to see, Lila,” Braden calls to her. “Just a kiss.”

“Oh. Get up then!”

We both laugh, and Braden stands up, offering me his hands to help me up. I wrap my fingers around his, and he tugs me up, surprising me with another kiss before pulling me along after him through the park.

I swallow and let him guide me. The game is quickly reaching levels I'm not ready for.

Chapter Twenty - Braden

There are too many levels in this game, and I'm not ready for the one it's climbing to. That level has a big fat fuckin' neon sign declaring the game over, and reality starting. Reality, with Maddie?

Reality, with anyone?

When I was six, I assumed I'd grow up and marry Meggy, like all little kids do. You marry your favorite person, and at six that's your best friend, right? Yeah. What a laugh.

Now, Meggy is my little sister. She's the one person I'd go to hell for. I'd take a bullet for her, I'd kill for her, and I will protect her until she doesn't need it anymore – and I'll probably do it even then.

Saturday marks two weeks since this game started, and with every day that passes I get to know Maddie a little more. She's guarded. There are a lot of secrets behind those pretty green eyes, despite how revealing they are for her emotions. I want to know what those secrets are, because despite it all, I'm starting to fucking care about her.

I'm starting to care about the sadness that appears and the wall she puts up whenever her brother is mentioned. Ever since we spoke about him two days ago, she's been more and more fidgety. She keeps checking her phone, the clock, her phone, the clock. It's a repeated cycle that is driving me fucking insane because I have no idea what's going on.

“Update?” Ryan sticks his head in my door.

“Getting there.” I don't look up from the TV where I'm playing – but not focusing on – the Xbox.

“How close is getting there? Two weeks left.”

“Just over.”

“What?”

“Just over two weeks.” I take off a zombie's head. “Don't sweat it, man. I'm fine.”

“I could tell that from the show you two put on in the park.”

“Fuck off,” I reply, a protective streak suddenly sparking in my body. “It's gotta be done, you know that.”

“Alright. Whatever, Braden.”

My door clicks shut, and I shake my head. Megan's words come back to me. Decide if Maddie is something with a pulse or something more than that.

I shoot several zombies in a row. Eh. What the fuck does she know anyway?

I die. I drop the controller on the floor and huff, lying back on my bed. Stupid game. Stupid challenge.

I hear a light knock at my door. “Come in.” I raise my head from the pillow, and Maddie pushes the door open, her arms full of books. I jump up and take them from her, letting her shut the door.

“Afternoon.” She smiles and takes her books back.

“Good afternoon, Angel.” I smile back at her, bending for a quick kiss. “I didn't realize you were bringing the library with you. If I knew, I would have met you there instead.”

“Oh, ha ha ha. Funny.” She drops the books on my desk. “I still have to do that English paper.”

“Which one?”

“On the themes of love in Much Ado.”

“You haven't done it yet?” I raise an amused eyebrow.

“No.” She shakes her head. “I've been somewhat distracted lately. You would know all about that, Braden.”

I grin and walk to her, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. I push my face into her hair, still grinning. “My fault?”

“I'd say it's a high possibility,” she murmurs in response. “So now I have to write it.”

“Really?” I move my hand across her stomach, her hip, and leave it to rest at the top of her thigh. “You're here, in my room, and you want to do schoolwork?”

“Braden!” She slaps my hand. “Yes. It is possible, you know, to be in a room with a girl and not have sex with them.”

“But it's not possible with you.” I breathe into her ear and brush my lips along her lobe, placing soft kisses down her neck. She shivers.

“Braden,” she warns.

“Fine.” I sigh. “I'll just sit here and watch you, then.”

“Are you actually going to do that?” She spins in my arms and looks up at me.

I drop my head and capture her lips, cupping her ass and holding her to me. I suck on her bottom lip, putting my hand in her hair. She grips my waist, and I dip her back slightly, deepening the kiss. Her hands slide to my back, her fingers spreading.

My dick hardens, and I walk backwards, pulling her towards my bed. She falls back without any resistance. One of her hands finds the hem of my shirt and slips under it, her palm hot against my bare skin. The urge to rip her clothes off is too much, way too much.

I pull my lips from her mouth and ghost them along her jaw, stroking her thigh at the same time. She tilts her head back, and I kiss down her neck, my tongue flicking out at the tender spot where her neck meets her shoulder. She moans, and I carry on exploring the top of her body with my mouth, kissing along the tops of her boobs.

My tongue traces inside the cup of her bra, her skin hot and soft.

“Braden,” she whispers in a breathless voice.

“Maddie,” I mumble against her skin, my breathing hard. Her chest is rising and falling in a steady rhythm, her heart pounding.

I slide my hand inside her skirt, my fingers slipping to find her underwear. She wears a thong. Fuck.

Her breath hitches and with my thumb gliding across the smooth material of her underwear, I pull my lips from her skin and meet her eyes.

“Angel?” I say softly.

Her eyes are full of heat, and she grips my hair tighter, moving her hips into me. Her movements answer my question, and I drop my mouth to her jaw, pressing little kisses to her.

I move my hand under the fabric and my finger slips inside her, gliding through the wetness easily. Her muscles tighten at the invasion, and her fingers dig into my back. My thumb creeps up, finding her clit, and I rub it in slow, gentle circles. Another finger inside her and her hips buck.

She moans again and I cover her mouth with mine, swallowing it. Her tongue runs along my top lip and I follow it with mine. I sweep the inside of her mouth, stroking her tongue in a similar way to how my fingers are stroking her below.

Her breath catches. Her muscles tighten.

I rub harder, move faster, kiss deeper. She cries out my name before she relaxes, her muscles limp and her breathing fast. I end the kiss and remove my hand, pulling away with regret.

Her eyes open slowly, the sparkle in them a contrast to the flushed red hue of her cheeks. Her hair is fanned out across my white sheets, her lips slightly parted.

And she looks fucking beautiful.

“What.... Was that?” she breathes out.

“That, Angel, was an orgasm,” I reply, grinning at her.

“I know that.” If she could, she'd slap me now. “But where did it come from?”

“Can I tell you a secret?” I run my nose along her cheek, and she nods. “I've wanted to do that since I saw you.”

Another truth.

She laughs silently and turns her face, kissing me softly. “Oh. Are you happy now?”

“Very,” I murmur against her lips. “Are you?”

“Mm,” she murmurs back. “I think so.”

“Good.” I kiss her once more and brush some hair from her forehead. “Now you can do your English work.”

She laughs – out loud this time – and smiles. “Give me a minute.”

Maddie closes her eyes, and I roll to the side of her, pulling her body into me while she recovers from her orgasm.

I know three more things.

Maddie Stevens is fucking beautiful after an orgasm.

I know I'd like to put that look on her face many, many more times.

And last, her apple-smelling hair drives me fucking insane.

For real.

Chapter Twenty-One - Maddie

I get it. I understand why every girl goes crazy about Braden Carter, because that guy can do crazy stuff with just his fingers.

But I still hate him. And I hate even more than I can't just say it.

“Umm.” I hide my face.

“You've done it already?!” Lila shrieks, jumping up.

“Oh my god, no!” I wave my hands. “No, no, no!”

“But you've done something, haven't you?” Kay asks, her eyes wide with humor. “I can tell.”

“Y-yes.” I mumble.

Megan licks her lips, smiles, and uncaps her pen. “So, do tell.”

“I'm not telling you that!” My cheeks burn.

“Oh!” Kay laughs. “Priceless! She's embarrassed over a game! Oh my god. It gets better, guys.”

“Go away,” I mutter. “I just.... I'm not giving sordid details.”

“Come on,” Megan grins. “Just say it. We've all done it all.”

“You guys,” Lila scolds and turns to me. “Maddie, did you have sex with Braden?”

“No.”

“Did you, you know, blow his whistle?”

I snort. “Blow his whistle?”

“Did you suck his lollipop?” Kay lies on her stomach, shaking with silent laughter.

“Ew! No!” I laugh.

“Okay, then.” Lila shrugs. “Well, did he bite your burger?”

I fall backwards on my bed, my stomach tensing as I laugh harder than I've laughed in ages. I'm pretty sure tears are stinging my eyes.

“Bite.... My.... Burger?” I take a deep breath. “What, on earth, is that?”

Kay tries and fails to get the words out, waving her hand dismissively before burying her face in her pillow.

“It's, licking, um, y'know.” Megan shakes her head and laughs. “I can't. I can't do it.”

“Oh! Oh, oh no. No burger biting.”

Megan nods and gives me a thumbs up.

“Okay, so was there bean flicking?” Lila continues, her shoulders bouncing.

“I'm not even....” I shake my head. “Going to ask.”

“It's just, uh. How do I put this?” Lila leans her head back.

Kay looks up. “Did he play with the bait while he went fishing?”

Megan collapses on the floor laughing hysterically, her whole body shaking. “I... Oh.”

I look at Lila, and she shakes her head, dropping it so she can't see me.

“Um, yes?” I guess, trying to keep my giggles in.

“Woohoo!” Kay shouts and my cheeks flame.

“I can't believe I just told you that. I actually can't believe it,” I mumble.

“Oh, what do I write for that?” Megan wipes under her eyes.

“Write? Wait, what?!” I sit up. “You can't write that on the plan!”

“I have to,” she replies. “It's so we can keep track.”

“So wrong, Megs.” Lila shakes her head.

“Put fishing.” Kay snorts. “No one is gonna know what that means.”

“Oh my god.” I cover my face with my hands. I hear Megan uncap the pen lid and the scratchy sound of the pen moving against the paper. “Oh, my god.”

“There.” She sits back. “Fishing, in week two. Definitely ahead of schedule, my little player.”

“That's a good thing, right?”

Lila nods enthusiastically. “Oh, yeah. This was just a rough idea. If you can get it done before the month is up, even better.”

“Sounds like it'll be done before the week is up,” Kay says slyly.

“What, two days?” I shake my head. “He's not in love with me yet. Wasn't that the point?”

“True,” she acquiesces.

“He's getting there, though,” Megan offers. “I can see in it his eyes.”

“You think he's falling in love with me after like, twelve days?” I snort. “Yeah, okay, Megs. This isn't some trashy romance novel where you get that crappy insta-love. There's no supernatural pull from the fates demanding we be together as soul mates for all of eternity while fighting off the bad guys. Love takes time. It takes work. It's not just something you throw yourself into because if you do it right, you'll only ever have to fall in love once. I only intend to fall in love once, and when I do, I won't be falling in two weeks time, and Braden probably won't either. People like Braden don't fall in love like that. But the point is, you can't control love. You can't make it happen.” I get up and look out the window.

“But isn't that what you're doing now?” Lila asks softly, her gentle brown eyes focusing on me. “Trying to control love, to make it happen?”

“No. I'm just trying to beat it to the finishing line. It's just a game. Love is like Clue - you might take a few wrong turns, but you'll get there in the end. For Braden, I'll be a wrong turn, and he'll barely be a blip on my radar.”

“So because we're not in a book, it means you can't be in love instantly?” Megan raises her eyebrows.

“Yes. This isn't a dream world, its reality, and reality is a bag of balls.”

She snorts. “But what if you were in love before you knew it? It's been scientifically shown that we're automatically attracted to people who 'match' with our pheromones.”

“Gross,” Kay mutters.

“So why can't you just fall in love as easily as that?” Megan continues, unaffected. “What if love is instant, but our human brains aren't yet advanced enough to know? What if each of us have a soul mate? What then?”

“Then the world would be a better place,” I reply quietly. “Because No one would get hurt. That's an ideal, Megs. The real world isn't ideal. There are rules you have to play by - unwritten rules, granted - but they're still there. Break them and you're back a level. Follow them and life is perfect. With this plan, I'm just skipping a few rules. I'm going to beat the game.”

“I'd like to believe we have someone out there for us that's perfect for us,” Lila says quietly. “I'd like to think the natural way of life governs even that.”

“I wouldn't,” Kay grumbles. “Fuck having someone in control of my life and love.”

“That's because you don't believe in love, Kay.” Megan looks at her pointedly.

Kay returns her look. “Neither do you.”

Megan gives her a small smile, a soft smile that somehow manages to brighten her whole face. “Oh, I believe in love, Kay. I believe that each of us have someone out there that will love us no matter what. I like to believe that. Otherwise, what would be the point? Love is beautiful, it's free from judgment and it never condemns. It enlightens, it embraces, and it makes even the hardest day worth living through. Who wouldn't want to believe in that?”

“You've been reading too many romance novels, Megs.”

“So what? We all have to get our hope from somewhere, and if getting lost between the pages of a deep book gives me hope, then I'll keep on getting lost, all the while hoping that one day I'll have a real love I can get lost in. Because it will happen, to each of us. One day we'll get so lost in love that we won't be able to find our way back out.”

My eyes flick up, and I can see the top of the frat house across the street. Third floor, second window from the right. Braden.

“How do you know, though?” I look back to Megan.

She gives me the same small smile she gave Kay. “Oh, I don't know. But I hope, and at the end of the day, without love, hope is all we really have, isn't it?”

Chapter Twenty-Two - Braden

I rub her hair between my fingers, watching her intently. She fidgets under my intense scrutiny, and all I can think of is the way she fidgeted underneath me as she came.

She sighs and wriggles, shifting away from me. A slow smirk breaks out on my lips, and I twirl the same lock of hair around my finger. She runs a hand through her hair. I drop her hair, immediately picking it back up when she drops her hand back to the table. This is fun.

“Mr Carter, are you concentrating?” Mr. Jessop asks me.

“Yes, Sir.”

“On my lesson, or Miss Stevens here?”

“That would be the last option, Sir.” I turn my head and grin. “But at least I'm concentrating, right?”

“Yes.” He hides his smile. “As lovely as Miss Stevens is, do you think you could concentrate on my lesson for the last ten minutes of class instead?”

Maddie looks at me and smiles. I wink at her.

“I'll try, Sir, but I'm not promising anything.”

Mr. Jessop shakes his head and turns back to the board.

I drop Maddie's hair, letting my forearm rest across the back of her chair. She glances at me, and I raise my eyebrows innocently.

“What?” I mouth.

She shakes her head, her lips curving upwards, and bites her pen. Her plump lips seal around the pen cap, and she spins it in her mouth, her lips puckered. Fucking tease.

I move my hand to her shoulder and begin to trace light circles on her bare skin, eliciting a shiver from her. Bingo.

I face forward, pretending to concentrate on the lesson but in actuality, I'm focusing on the way Maddie's lips are around that pen. I'm jealous of that pen. Really fuckin' jealous.

I shift in my seat slightly. This girl is turning me into a walking hard-on, and it's all because my dick isn't used to waiting for what it wants. I'm not used to waiting for what I want. Is class over yet? No? Fuck.

Maddie looks at me out of the corner of her eye, the green in it brighter from her amusement at the situation. Her eyes bore into mine as I turn my head slightly. My finger trails up to her neck, her hairline, and back down. She shivers again, stronger this time.

“Stop it,” she hisses at me quietly.

“Why?” I whisper back. “I thought you liked that.”

“Braden, we're in class!”

“And?” I grin cockily at her. “Maybe I'm having a fantasy about taking you on my desk, and this class isn't helping that thought.”

Her mouth opens, and her pen falls out. Blood rises in her cheeks, flushing them.

“Oh my god,” she mutters.

“What?” I chuckle silently.

“I can't believe you just said that.”

“Why? It's true. I am imagining having sex with you on my desk.”

The bell rings, and she gathers all her stuff up, shaking her head with her still-flushed cheeks. I shove my stuff into my backpack and join her round the front of the desk. I slip my arm round her waist and cup her hip as we leave the classroom.

“I don't get it,” she says as we make our way outside.

“Get what, Angel?”

“How you managed to think of that in the middle of studying Moby.... Y'know what? Never mind.”

I laugh out loud. “Yep, I was pretty sure I heard the word 'dick' at some point at the beginning of class, and you just confirmed it.”

“But how did you get from a whale to... Yeah.”

“Maddie, if someone says 'pussy cat' I instantly think of sex. Same with Moby Dick, whale or otherwise.”

“Say if you go into a restaurant, what if someone ordered something to do with sausages? Would that make you think of sex?”

“Yeah, probably.”

She giggles and sits at the base of a tree. The sun is glinting off her hair, making the copper hues even shinier. I sink to the ground next to her and dig my hand into my backpack.

“What are - oh!” She exclaims, seeing the blueberry muffin I produce. “When did you get that?”

“I ran by before class. Thought I'd surprise you.” I grin at her genuinely delighted face. I'm actually happy she's happy - that I've managed to make her happy. Yep, I'm starting to care about this girl and how she feels. Shit.

“Oh!” She touches my cheek. “Thank you. That was thoughtful.”

I put my hand on top of hers and gently turn my face into it, pressing a kiss to the pulse on her wrist. She takes the muffin from me and begins to eat it in her normal way. I've discovered it's not just a muffin thing. She actually picks most of her food apart as she eats it.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” She puts some more muffin in her mouth.

“Pick it apart. You do it with all your food.”

“Oh.” Her voice is so quiet I barely hear it. “I didn't eat much after Mom died, and what I did eat, I picked at. I guess it's become a kind of habit. I never realized.”

My foot is so far in my mouth it's probably about to come out my ass.

“I'm sorry, Angel, I didn't realize.” I put my arm around her, and she lays her head on my shoulder.

“Why would you?” she asks softly. “Actually, you're the first person that's noticed it. Well, the first person that's ever mentioned it, anyway.”

Have I really watched her that much in the last two weeks that I'm picking up on her habits? Yeah, I have.

Fuck.

The game, Braden. The game.

“Come stay with me tonight?”

She leans her head back, sad eyes meeting mine. “Why?”

I kiss her. “Because I want you to.”

“I'll be at the house anyway. For the party.”

“Fuck the party.” I shake my head. “Don't go. We'll grab a movie and some junk food. We'll spend the night upstairs in my room, then tomorrow we'll go out and get breakfast.”

She blinks a couple of times. “Really?”

“Really.” I smile. “You sound surprised.”

“I am, a little.” She smiles back shyly. “Okay.”

“You'll stay?”

She nods once and moves her face into my neck. “I'll stay.”

“Good.” I rest my cheek on top of hers, and I'm happier than I should be.

~

“She's staying, here?” Ryan's eyes bug out of his head.

“You deaf? That's what I said, isn't it?”

“You're skipping the party for a fucking sleepover?” Aston raises his eyebrows and sits back, laughing. “Fuckin' hell. You want in her pants, bad.”

“So what if I do? That's the whole reason for this, isn't it?”

“That it is,” Ryan agrees, taking the Xbox controller off Aston.

“Then don't sound so fuckin' surprised.”

“This gonna be over tomorrow then, Braden?”

“Chances are, no,” I answer. “I'm not forcing her into anything.”

“Since when did you give a fuck?” Aston half-glares at me.

“Since Maddie isn't like the girls I usually fuck around with, all right?” I drop my controller on the floor.

“Don't tell me you're starting to fall for her.”

“Fuck off, Aston.” I shake my head. “You know as well as I do I have to be careful with Maddie. Mess her around too much and Meggy will kick my ass.”

“You can handle Megan.” Aston smirks. “Never thought I'd see the day Braden Carter was controlled by a girl.”

I lean around Ryan and punch him in the arm. “Fuck off, Aston! Don't be a prick.”

“I was just sayin', man.”

“Well, don't,” Ryan interrupts. “I'm already in a relationship, and it's perfectly normal to have your girl stay over, without sex, Aston. It's hard for your playboy mind to comprehend, but it can be done. If that's how Braden wants to play it, then that's how he's gonna play it.”

“He's getting so caught up in being the perfect boyfriend he's forgetting about the sex.”

I snort. “You've seen her, right? If you think I forget about sex around Maddie, then you're more stupid than you look.”

“Oh, so you're not falling then?” He smirks, amused.

“Not a fucking chance, man.” I smirk back. “The only thing on my mind around her is when I'm gonna do her, where I'm gonna do her, and how many times I'm gonna do her.”

I hope.

Chapter Twenty-Three - Maddie

“Forget your pajamas.”

“Why would I forget my pajamas?”

“Because then you either have to sleep in your underwear, nude, or in one of his shirts,” Megan explains.

“And there's nothing sexier than a girl in a guy's shirt,” Lila adds. “I wear Ryan's all the time. It's guaranteed sex.”

“I'm not at the sex stage yet, Lila.”

“So? It's almost week three, right?” She looks up at the poster on the wall, tracing her finger along the steps. “So that means sexual seduction can commence.”

I dump my bag on my bed and sit down on Kay's opposite it. “You pack my bag then.”

“Yes!” Megan scrambles up from my pillow and attacks my dresser, pulling drawers open. “Oooh! This!” She turns, holding up a black silky underwear set I bought months ago, yet never wore. She tugs off the labels and Lila empties my bag. The underwear go in, along with my make-up, hairbrush, and clothes for tomorrow.

Lila zips it up. “Done.”

“Really? Underwear, clothes, and minimum toiletries? That's it?!” I shriek.

“Yes!” Megan turns to me with her hands on her hips. “Seduction not comfort, Maddie! You need to tease him, so that when it comes to you giving your hot ass up to him he's not gonna resist.”

“He wouldn't resist anyway,” I say dryly, the memory of us in his room flashing behind my eyes. Nope, he wouldn't resist.

“Yes, but like you said, he's not in love. Yet.” Megan smiles slyly.

“Whatever,” I huff and grab the bag. “Can we go now?”

“Yep!” Lila grabs her purse, and the three of us file out of my room. “Hey, is Kay going tonight?”

“She is…” I trail off. “Wait, I don't even know where she is.”

“If we don't know, it probably means we don't want to,” Megan summarizes.

“And that's the truest thing I've heard all day.” Lila snickers. “Do you think she's with Darla?”

I shake my head. “Since when did Kay go back for seconds?”

Lila shrugs, and we leave the main campus, crossing the road to the frat house. A few people are milling around outside, and Lila pushes straight through the girls huddled on the porch to inside. Megan grabs my hand and pulls me through. I ignore the dirty looks several of them give me.

I'm not surprised that most of the people downstairs are girls. I'm also not surprised that one is trying her best to rub up against Braden. I am surprised at how he's pushing her away.

Woah.

He glances up and catches my eye. I lean against the banister of the staircase and raise an eyebrow. His face breaks into a grin, and he pushes around the girl throwing herself at him, much to her disappointment, and stalks towards me. He's eating the room up as he moves, and I find myself swallowing at the look in his eye.

He stops in front of me, sliding his hand around my neck and into my hair. His lips meet mine, slowly, softly, and I'm momentarily taken aback by the tenderness there. I put a hand on his waist and move closer to him, rubbing his back slightly with my fingers.

“Hey, Angel,” he whispers against my mouth.

“Hey, Braden,” I whisper back. “Miss me that much, huh?”

His blue eyes twinkle down at me. “Maybe I did.”

I smile at him.

“Hey, Braden, are you down here tonight?” A low voice purrs behind us. Seriously? Still?

“Nope.” He turns, still holding me tightly. “I'm spending the night with my girl.”

“Maybe some other time, then?”

“Or not.” I smile sweetly at the dark-haired girl and curl into Braden's side. He chuckles quietly.

“Come on, tiger, let's get you upstairs,” he says into my ear.

“Is that an invitation?” I flirt.

He smiles against me. “Maybe later.”

I laugh quietly, and he leads me up the stairs. His room is still as clean as ever, and I'm actually surprised. I thought all guys had messy rooms.

I put my bag on the floor at the end of his bed and lie down on it, rolling to my side. “What?”

“Make yourself comfy.” He smirks.

“Oh, I am.” I grin at him sassily.

He shakes his head and comes over to me, bending over me. “Those jeans don't look too comfy. Maybe you should remove those. For maximum comfort, of course.”

“And how long have you been waiting to use that line?” I ask playfully.

“Actually, I just thought it up then.”

“Oh, he's handsome and quick-witted. What a catch.”

“Handsome, huh?” He quirks his eyebrow and leans down closer to me. “Tell me more.”

“Is your ego hungry from the female conveyor belt no longer running through the bedroom?”

“No. Far from it.” He touches the tip of his nose to mine. “My ego is delighted that you're still hanging around, actually.”

I close my eyes and smile, ignoring the spark of pleasure that shoots down my spine at his words. I tilt my head and brush my lips across his softly, and he strokes my cheek with his thumb.

It's hard to believe that Mr. Hump 'Em and Dump 'Em can be so tender.

“I'm gonna put the movie on,” he says. “Or it'll never get watched.”

“Fine,” I pout, remembering the game. I feel like I have multiple personalities. A double life – the Brooklyn Maddie and the California Maddie. Yet, the California Maddie has two, maybe three different Maddie's rolled into it. The friend Maddie, the game Maddie and then... Maybe a Braden Maddie.

I wish I knew what Maddie I really was.

“What movie is it?”

Braden wrinkles his nose. “Uh, good question.”

I laugh, and he pulls a box out from under his bed. “Chances are, most of these belong to Megan, so there could be anything in here.”

I shift on the bed, turning sideways, and I hang my head over the side of the bed. Braden bats my hair away.

“Hey!” I protest.

“It tickles.” He grins, opening the box. He's right. It's full, and at least three-quarters of visible movies belong to Megan.

“Wow.” I look in the box. “What are we watching?”

He shrugs. “I don't know.”

“You told me to come here to watch a movie.” I half-smile at him. “Did you even have anything in mind then?”

“Uh, no?” he says sheepishly. “It was a spur of the moment thing, Angel.”

I sigh and start digging through the box. “Guys. If you want something done, do it yourself,” I mutter.

“Does that account for orgasms too?”

“What?” I stop, blink and look at him.

“The do it yourself thing.” He grins, and I laugh, hiding my face.

“No, they are an exception to that rule.”

“Oh, good.” He kisses the side of my mouth. “Because I'd hate to never give you another one.”

My cheeks heat up and yet again I wonder about his ability to make me blush.

“I like it when you blush.” He presses his cheek against mine.

“Why?” I smile. “Oh wait, let me guess. It reminds you of an orgasm?”

“Mind reader.” He brushes his lips along my cheek, his breath hot on my ear. “It reminds me of when I made you come. That's exactly why I like it.”

His hand moves to cup my other cheek, and I tilt my face into his. He moves his face, and his mouth finds mine, taking it in a kiss that damn near takes my breath away. My arm stretches, my hand rests on the side of his neck, and my lips caress his.

I nip his bottom lip and he moves to stand, helping me roll over on the bed. His arms scoop me up and reposition me in the center of the bed, his body on top of me, pressing into me. Hard.

He probes my mouth with his tongue, and I meet his kiss with the same fervor. My free hand snakes to his back and under his shirt as he sweeps his tongue through my mouth, eliciting a silent moan from me. His back muscles flex under my fingers as he shifts slightly, and my fingers dig into his skin.

One of his hands is in my hair, tangled in the curls, and the other is exploring my body. It slides down the curve of my waist to my hip, down my thigh and back up again. His thumb brushes the underside of my breast, and even fully clothed, I feel it as if it was skin on skin.

His mouth travels across my jaw and down my neck, peppering hot kisses across my skin – and suddenly, suddenly it's not enough.

I want it all. Not because of the challenge, or because it's what the girls want.

I want him because I want him.

And I don't know what to do about that.

“I could kiss you all day,” Braden whispers.

I smile, unable to form any words, and hold him close to me.

I'm spinning in my own mind. Want is okay. Want is a natural thing, right? Like Megan said – pheromones or something. It's human nature to be attracted to someone, especially someone like Braden. It's okay that my body and my mind aren't on the same page. Yep. Perfectly okay, because want isn't love.

“Shall we watch that movie?” Braden asks.

“Yeah,” I reply. “Whichever one.”

He nods and kisses my temple, getting off the bed, and me. Despite the temperature still being above sixty, I'm suddenly cold.

Braden puts a disk in the DVD player and pulls off his top, giving me a chance to admire his chest. Not that I haven't before, but it definitely feels much more appropriate to do so as his “girlfriend”. He's all smooth, sleek muscle. He's not overly built, but he's lean and defined in a way that would make most girls cry. It probably has made most girls cry.

And I'm back in the game, with just that thought. Operation Play the Player. Everything about him screams player, and every scream just reminds me of why I can't want him. Why I shouldn't want him. Every scream reminds me of Pearce and Abbi.

I drop my eyes as he hands me my bag. “You can get changed here, or in the bathroom across the hall.”

“Umm, I think I forgot my pajamas.” I glance up at him and smile.

“Oh.” He turns, opens a drawer and pulls out a shirt. “Here.” He grins, and I take it from him, sweeping past him.

In the bathroom, I strip and put on the black underwear Megan insisted I wear. I pull Braden's shirt over my head, feeling the tickle of the hem at the top of my thighs. A quick run of my brush through my hair and I step back into the hall – straight into Kyle.

Well, this is awkward. I haven't really spoken to him since last week when Braden ended up pinning him to the wall.

“Uh, hey, Kyle.” I say quietly.

“Maddie,” he responds, his eyes pinned to my legs.

I clear my throat, and he looks up. “How are you?”

“Fine. You?”

“Yeah, I'm good.” I glance behind him towards Braden's shut door.

“So you really are then? With him?”

“Kyle.”

“Sorry.” He holds his hands up. “Just... Be careful, yeah, Mads? I don't want to see him hurt you. You're too good for that.”

I touch his arm. “I won't, Kyle, don't worry.”

Braden's door opens, and he looks at us for a second before he registers it's Kyle I'm talking to. “Not chatting my girl up again, are you, Kyle?”

“Wouldn't dream of it, Braden,” he replies, his eyes on mine. “She's all yours.”

I look down and step around him towards Braden.

“Good thing, too. I'd hate to slam you against the wall again.”

I scoff, shaking my head and push past him into his room. What is it with males and their need to be absolute neanderthals?

I chuck my bag down, and he shuts the door. “What was that about?”

“You're asking me that?” I raise my eyebrows and look at him. “What was that about, Braden? Can I not even talk to Kyle now?”

“Of course you can, but excuse me for being a bit pissed when you're talking to him wearing my shirt.”

“Isn't that the point? Wearing your shirt. It's obvious who I 'belong' to, as you so eloquently put it last week, so there's no need to go all caveman on anyone who speaks to me.”

“How did I go caveman? 'Cause I don't get it.”

“'I'd hate to slam you against the wall again,'” I imitate his voice. “You'd love to pin him against a wall again for talking to me.”

“So what if I would? You're my girl.” He walks towards me and I tilt my head back to look at him.

“I'm not your property, Braden, and I won't be treated like I am!”

“You're mine, Maddie.” His hand cups my chin, and I knock it away.

“Don't treat me like I'm your possession, Braden, because that possessive streak doesn't go down well with me.” I turn, and he grasps my waist, pulling me back against him. His arms wrap around my waist, holding me tight to him.

“I'm not possessive over you, Maddie,” he says into my ear. “I'm protective, and there's a difference. I'd never try to control you or tell you what you can and can't do, but I know every guy in this frat house wants to be me right now – especially Kyle. And you know why? It's because you're so fucking beautiful.” My breath catches in my throat. “They all want you, but I have you, and there's not a chance I'm gonna risk one of them taking you from me, all right? So yes, Angel, yes, you are fucking mine!”

Chapter Twenty-Four - Braden

“You think I'm beautiful?” she whispers softly. Of course, that would be what she hears.

“Yeah.” I turn her face up to mine. “I do. You are beautiful, Maddie. Inside and out.”

And I'm being completely fucking honest. She's not hot, or fit, or bangable. She's beautiful, she's sexy and she's sweet.

She closes her eyes and, when she opens them, they're glistening with tears. Oh fuck.

“Did I say something wrong?”

She shakes her head and spins in my arms, sliding her arms around my waist. Her cheek presses against my chest and I feel her take a deep breath. I hold her to me tightly.

“No,” she whispers. “No you didn't.”

“Then why are you crying?”

Her shoulders shake, and she looks up at me, a smile on her face even though her eyes are filled with tears. “Because it makes me happy.”

“Good,” I whisper and kiss the corners of her eyes, kissing the tears away. “I like making you happy, Maddie.” And I do. For some reason, I do.

I pull her over to my bed and climb in, pulling the covers back and patting the space next to me. She slides in, my shirt raising up. I catch a glimpse of black silk panties. Holy....

Doing my best to ignore the inappropriate thoughts running through my mind, I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me, spooning her. She hugs my arm, and I breathe in the sharp apple scent of her hair, the ends tickling my nose.

She's molded to my body like she was made to fit there, and it's fucking unnerving. I'm not sure anyone else could fit against me the way she is right now.

I trace my finger along her arm and after a while her breathing evens out. I shift up to see her face. She's asleep – her eyes are closed, and her thick eyelashes are fanned out across her cheeks. Her lips are puckered in a slight pout, and I'd love to kiss them right now. I won't wake her though.

I lie back down next to her and pull her tighter to me, letting my eyes close shut.

~

I'm woken by an elbow in my cheek.

“The fuck?” I mumble and sit up, remembering Maddie next to me. “Maddie?”

I open my eyes, and she's shaking her head, still asleep. The TV casts a harsh glare over her, and I can see her lips moving, mumbling in her sleep. What's she saying?

“Maddie? Angel?” I push hair away from her face and she jolts awake, breathing frantically. Tears I didn't notice are streaming down her face. “Maddie?”

“Just a dream,” she whispers to herself. “Just a dream.”

“Angel, are you okay?”

Her eyes focus on me for the first time. She nods. “Just hold me. Please, Bray.”

“You know I will.” I tuck her into me, facing me this time – and I realize she called me Bray.

“Thank you,” she whispers, slipping her legs between mine and holding me tightly. Tears are still falling from her eyes. I can feel them as they drip from her eyes onto my shoulder and onto my pillow. I have no idea what to do. I have no idea why she's crying. I'm lost.

I make soothing noises in her ear and smooth her hair until she's quiet again.

There's more layers to this girl than I'll ever understand – but I'm starting to want to understand.

~

Maddie picks a piece of her muffin off and eats it.

“How do you stay so skinny?” I ask, amused.

“What do you mean?” She tilts her head to the side.

“I'm pretty sure I've seen you eat one of those muffins every single day for two weeks.”

“Only two weeks? I'm pretty sure I've eaten one of these muffins every day for at least eight months.” She casually shrugs a shoulder.

“And you look like that?” My eyes roam her body shamelessly.

“Fast metabolism.”

“Not that it would be an issue if you didn't have one. I'm sure I could think up a way to burn off those extra calories.” I wink at her, and she smirks.

“I'm sure you could think of several ways,” she replies. “Unfortunately, so can I, none of which probably agree with yours. They're all exercise.”

“I never said mine weren't exercise.”

“Sex does not count as exercise.” She looks at me pointedly. “In any position.”

“It burns calories,” I argue. “That counts as exercise.”

She sighs and shakes her head, but I can tell she's trying not to laugh. What? I make a damn good point.

“It's not a recognized form of exercise, Braden.”

“You called me Bray last night. I liked it.” I scrape her hair from her face with my fingers.

“Did I? When?”

“You, um... You had a nightmare, and I woke you. Then.”

“Oh.” She puts the muffin down. “Sorry.”

“Hey.” I make her look at me. “Don't be sorry. Do you have them often?”

Her eyes move from my face, looking out at the crystal clear water in front of us. “Sometimes. Less than I used to.”

“Why do you get them? I mean, what do you dream about?”

The silence is telling. I know what she's going to say before she even says it.

“The day my Mom died.”

“Maddie, we don't have to talk about this-”

“Talking helps, sometimes. I've just never had anyone to really talk to.”

I take her hand, slipping my fingers through hers. I rub the back of her hand with my thumb. “If you want to talk about it, then we'll talk.” I want her to talk to me about it.

She takes a deep breath, and in the silence, I wonder if she's going to speak. But she does.

“I have the nightmares because I watched her die.”

Fuck.

Chapter Twenty-Five – Maddie

I remember it. I remember it like it was yesterday. Every detail is etched into my mind, and when I let myself remember – like now – it plays out like an old movie strip. The memories are cracked, a little fuzzy in some places, and sometimes the sound goes, but I still remember. I still know. I know it all.

“We'd been out for a girls night. It wasn't anything unusual. Once or twice a month, Mom insisted we had some girl time, and we headed for dinner and a movie, maybe some shopping. It was our time where we caught up on life. We talked boys, music, clothes. Everything.”

“It sounds like you were close.”

“We were.” A small smile graces my lips. “She was my best friend.”

“Tell me about her.”

“Everyone says I look like her, but I don't think so. Mom was beautiful. Sure, we had the same hair and the same green eyes, but she had this inner goodness that radiated out of her. She was always happy and smiling, always ready to lend a hand. She worked at a local youth center with young people addicted who were to drugs or homeless. Sometimes, when I'd go with her to volunteer on a weekend, I'd hear them talking about how amazing she was. She always brightened their day. Everyone loved her.

“But that night...”

We had been to the movies since it had been my choice for that particular girl’s night.

“Let's get some cotton candy,” Mom suggested, spying a vendor across the street.

“That's silly, Mom. It's eleven o'clock! Dad will be up waiting for us.”

“Oh, come on, Maddie Moo. Don't be a spoilsport.” She parked the car across from the vendor. “It'll only take two minutes. Promise.”

I sighed. “Okay, but you're crazy.”

She opened the door, glancing at me over her shoulder, her light, flowery smell seeming to strengthen in her excitement. She grinned, her eyes wide and mischievous, just like a child's. I couldn't help but grin back at her – she had the kind of smile that was infectious. I watched as she left the car and rifled through her purse for some change as she approached the vendor.

Bangs echoed from maybe a block away. Fireworks!

I rolled my window down and stuck my head out – then I heard the scream. Someone was screaming over and over. The bangs were getting louder and tires screeched-

“Maddie get down!” Mom yelled.

I began to shake and sat back in the car, wrenching the seat belt off me. I slid down my seat as the bangs ricocheted off the city buildings around me. I looked for Mom and then...

Bang.

She began to fall.

I screamed.

A car sped past, the bangs finally registering in my brain as gun shots.

I crawled over the seats, reaching for the driver's side door. “Mom! Mom! No, Mom!” I yanked the door open and fell from the car, scrambling to my feet. Gunpowder and smoke filled my nose, the thick smell wrapping around me.

A crowd had gathered, and I pushed my way through, shoving bodies and people away, screaming her name, needing to see her because she had to be okay, she had to be. Mom couldn't leave me because she was always meant to be there, always.

Alwaysalwaysalways.

Braden reaches up and removes my hands from my ears, bringing me back to the here and now.

I can still hear the ringing from the shots in my ears. I can still hear the screams that drowned out the city nightlife. I can still feel the adrenaline as it pumped through my body, the fear as recognition dawned. It's still so real.

“That's where it gets fuzzy. I remember hearing sirens, and I remember being held back. I remember breaking free and shaking Mom to get her to wake up. She didn't. She couldn't. She'd taken a direct hit to her thigh. In the time it took for me to get out of the car and to her, she'd bled out. Alone, on a cold sidewalk in Brooklyn. She'd gone, and I never did anything to save her. I never should have let her leave the car for her stupid cotton candy.”

Fingers swipe under my eyes at the silent tears falling there. Braden moves and crouches in front of me, cupping my face. I look into his eyes, blue eyes, full of sorrow and sympathy.

“You're so strong, Angel,” he says softly. “Not many people would have got through that and still be here today, going on the way you do. You're amazing, you know that, right? I bet if she could see you now, she'd be so, so proud of you.”

I nod silently. He kisses my forehead and kneels down, pulling me into his arms. The gentle sea breeze teases my hair as I curl into him, needing the comfort and safety he can provide me.

I've never told anyone the whole story. Even when Dad forced me to speak with a counselor, I never spoke about it. She was mine. The last memory of her was mine.

But not anymore. I've shared it, in the place she was born and raised.

I brought her home.

~

The guys all huddle in the middle of the yard, all shirtless and glancing over at us flirtatiously. Kay shakes her head and flips them off.

“Fuckin' animals,” she mutters. “Parading round half-naked like they're King of the fuckin' frat.”

I laugh into my hand silently.

“Don't you start laughin' at me, Mads. You and Carter are like the King and Queen of this place, and Lila and Ryan are like the Prince and Princess. Or should that be Princess and Princess?”

“Hey!” Lila chucks a chip at her. “He's a pretty boy, but he's my pretty boy, Baker.”

“Got it, Princess.” Kay winks, and Lila grins at her.

There's something relaxing about having a secure, close friendship with people that can make you laugh. The chat at the beach with Braden is still weighing heavily on my mind, but being here, with these girls, makes it all seem better.

Braden looks over his shoulder at me and grins devilishly. I can't help but smile back, and my stomach flip-flops. Ugh.

“Love is in the air, doo doo doo doo doo doo!” Kay sings, waving her bottle of soda around.

“Get lost.” I chuck a piece of candy at her, and she catches it, shoving it in her mouth.

“Thanks, baby girl.” She winks.

“I like seeing him happy,” Megan says, watching the boys line up to start playing. “I haven't seen him like this in a long time. It's almost gonna be a shame to end it in two weeks, maybe even a few days.” She glances at me.

“You know the rules of the game, Megan,” I reply, picking some grass. “Four weeks. That's all we allowed.”

She stares at me out of the corner of her eye, a knowing gleam that's only meant for me. “If Braden lets you go.”

Translation: if you can end it.

Sometimes, it's really annoying how observant she can be.

“He will,” I say with more confidence than I feel, my eyes watching him as he runs and jokes with his frat brothers. “He won't hang around, Megs.”

“Okay,” she acquiesces. Reluctantly. Ugh – I'm so fed up of hearing about this.

I turn my attention back to the yard and watch as they throw the ball to and fro. Braden catches it and makes a run for the end zone – which is marked by two t-shirts. Sweat drips from his toned upper body, and his back muscles ripple as he runs. It's enough to make me want to chain my legs together, because he is hot. Especially when he's sweaty and shirtless.

He dives, scoring a touchdown. The guys on his team congratulate him, and he winks, motioning me over to him. I tilt my head to the side questioningly. He jogs over to me, looking too much like perfection for my liking, and bends down to grab my hands. He pulls me up from the ground, wraps an arm around my waist, and tilts me back.

He kisses me hard, his lips a searing flame on mine. I grab his hair and hold on, one of my feet leaving the ground. He slips his tongue between my lips quickly, and I meet his every movement.

Slowly, he pulls back. I smile, and he looks at me with heated eyes.

“Now I feel like I've celebrated.” He chuckles, righting me.

“You just wanted to show off.” I trail my finger down his chest. His fingertips dig into my back slightly.

“When I have a beautiful girl like you to show off, who can blame me?” He smirks and puts his mouth by my ear. “And stop your finger where it is, or we'll go and continue our celebration inside.”

I swallow. Right now, that sounds kinda good.

I ping the waistband of his shorts. “You have a game to play,” I remind him. And me. “Go and play it.”

He smirks again and kisses me once more. For luck, I guess. Not that he needs any. I drop back to the floor as he runs back and take my candy back from Kay.

“Wowee, I don't think I've ever seen a real foot-poppin' kiss!” Megan grins.

“A foot what?” Kay raises her eyebrows.

“A foot-poppin' kiss,” Megan repeats. “From the Princess Diaries? With Anne Hathaway?”

“Do I look like I've watched the fucking Princess Diaries, Meg?”

“I never know with you.”

“I'll make sure to put it on my Christmas list. I'm sure it's fascinating.”

Megan leans over and punches her in the arm. “No need for sarcasm, Kayleigh.”

“With you, Megan, there's always a need for sarcasm.”

“Shut up.”

I shake my head, smiling, and chuck a piece of candy at them both. Lila giggles and copies me. Megan shrieks, Kay yells. Before I know it, we're in the middle of a junk food fight, and I'm lying on my back on the grass, holding my stomach as I laugh.

I sigh and wipe tears from my eyes. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

Chapter Twenty-Six – Braden

I hate Sundays. There's something so fucking dull about them.

So maybe that's why I'm at the beach. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not the biggest fan of sun, sea, and sand. Nor am I the next champion surfer.

But Maddie wanted to come, and the rules of the game state that what Maddie wants, Maddie gets. So, here I am. Getting sand up my shorts and, if I'm not careful, a crab pincer around my balls.

“You didn't have to come with me. I'm capable of sunbathing by myself,” Maddie says, lying on her back on the sand.

I roll onto my side and prop myself up on my arm. “And why would I not come? I like spending time with you.” I drag my finger across her flat stomach, and she squirms.

“Because.” She shrugs a shoulder.

“Because?”

“Yep. Because.”

I flip over and straddle her. She squeals and pulls her sunglasses off, flinging them to the side. She looks up at me, and I grin wolfishly.

“What?”

“Why are you sitting on me?”

“I felt like it.”

“You felt like it.”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Yep. Because.” I grab her hands and thread my fingers through hers. Her lips quirk up at one side, and her eyes show the amusement she feels. I stare at her, just watching her, and taking her in.

The light tan on her skin sets off her auburn hair, making her green eyes stand out even more. Her curled lips are plump and shiny, begging me to kiss them.

I do.

I drop my head and brush my lips across hers. Her fingers tighten around mine, and her lips pucker, softly massaging my bottom lip. I pull back, opening my eyes and watching as hers open slowly.

“What was that for?” she asks softly.

“Because I can.”

“Fair enough.” She smiles. “But you can get off me now. You're in my sun.”

I laugh and roll off her, flopping next to her again. She places her sunglasses back over her eyes. My eyes rake down her body, every curve available for my viewing pleasure. And boy, it's a fucking pleasure all right.

“Stop undressing me with your eyes.”

“Hate to tell you, Angel.” I run my hand down her side. “But there isn't much to undress. Not that I'm complaining.” My fingers gently probe the soft, bared skin under her bikini top.

“Braden,” she warns.

“What?” I move my hand across her ribs.

“Braden!”

“What?”

“There are other people around!” she hisses.

“And?” I kiss her cheek, close to her ear. “I'm allowed to touch my girlfriend.”

“Mmm.” I'll take that as an agreement.

I find her lips again and run my tongue along her bottom lip. She squeaks and opens her mouth in surprise. I take the chance, sweeping my tongue into her mouth. Her hand claps down onto my neck as she kisses me back, her tongue swirling in a way that makes all the blood in my body rush straight down to my dick.

I shift a little, putting my fingers in her hair and running them through to the ends.

“I think you need a cold shower,” she mutters against my lips, running her nails down my arms. All my hairs stand on end at that innocent, yet damn sexy move.

“There's a sea over there. Care to join me?”

“I'm unsure if it's a smart or stupid move, but I will anyway.”

I move and get up, holding my hands out for her. She takes her glasses off, slips her hands into mine and jumps up, grinning at me. I raise an eyebrow and she runs off down the beach, giggling to herself.

I shake my head and take off after her. I'm close enough to hear her loud, high-pitched squeal when she runs into the water. She turns straight away and runs towards me. I laugh and grab her round the waist, lifting her up, and run into the water.

“Braden, no! It's cold!”

“That's the point!”

She kicks and clings to my neck. I wade through the water until we're waist-deep and drop her, letting her slide down my body. Big mistake.

I clear my throat and she glances up at me through her eyelashes. She smiles and shoves me. I lose my balance and fall backwards into the water. I bounce back up, sputtering, and focus my gaze on her. She's so in for it now.

“I'm sorry! No, no!” She holds her hands out.

“No, that's it now.” I shake my head and move towards her.

“No!” She squeals when I tackle her.

We fall into the water, her legs kicking in a feeble attempt to get away. She pushes herself up on my shoulders and as I surface, I cup her ass and hold her against me.

“You-”

My lips on hers silence her. Her hands find my hair and she holds on tightly, gripping it between her fingers. One of my hands comes to rest on her waist, and her feet lock around my waist, holding her in place and tight against me.

My dick rubs against her, making her whimper and press into me tighter. My fingers dig into her ass and back as she rises up slightly, pushing my head back. She kisses me harder, taking control.

She stops and whispers, “People are watching us, aren't they?”

I glance over to the beach and two little boys, about six, are staring at us with their mouths wide open. “Yes.”

She blushes and slowly turns her head to them.

“Ewwwww!” They shriek and run across the beach.

I laugh, and Maddie buries her face in my shoulder. She unhooks her legs and slides down, her hands smoothing the wet skin of my chest. I rest my cheek on her head, still laughing, and she pokes me.

“It's not funny. They probably think they just watched a live porn show.” She moves her head and glares at me.

“Angel, they were little kids. To them, you're a girl and that means you have cooties.”

Her narrowed eyes gleam in amusement. “Do I? Have cooties?”

“I'm not sure,” I shrug a shoulder. “I haven't decided yet.”

“Well, if I do....” She smiles innocently. “You should consider yourself infected.”

She blows a raspberry on my chest and slips from my arms, giggling as she tries to run back towards the beach. I can't help it – a huge laugh erupts from me, and I rub my face, shaking my head. She turns her body, looking at me and covering her mouth with her hand. She ducks, her wet hair coming to rest over her shoulders and shining copper in the sun.

There's a lightness in the way she teases me, the way she can make me laugh so easily. It's a lightness that isn't usually there in her, and I kinda like it.

Chapter Twenty-Seven – Maddie

I smile absently to myself as I make my way out of class. I hug my books to my chest, and my hair falls to the side, hiding one side of my face. Ever since I spent the afternoon at the beach with Braden yesterday, I've felt better than I have in a long time. I'd like to believe it was the mix of sun, sea, and sand, but I'd be lying.

I'm pretty sure he is the main cause of my happiness.

“Hey, Maddie.” Kyle falls into step beside me.

“Hey. How are you?” I glance up at him, thinking – not for the first time – it's a shame I don't see him as anything other than a friend. Though he's not as built as Braden, his chestnut-brown, wavy hair and equally brown eyes are captivating, all the same. He's taller than me, shorter than Braden, but he has a good heart and I know he'll make someone a great boyfriend one day.

But why am I comparing him to Braden?

“Good. Look, I'm sorry if you guys ended up fighting on Friday. I never realized Braden was so.... So....”

“Protective?” I offer dryly, echoing Braden's word.

“Um, sure.”

“Don't worry about it.” I bump his shoulder. “He just.... I don't know.” I shrug.

“I have no doubt you put him straight, anyway.” He grins at me.

One side of my mouth curls up. “Of course I did. I conveniently reminded him I was wearing his shirt, not yours.”

“Yeah.” Kyle coughs and looks away. Is he blushing? Wait, what? “Well, gotta go. See you soon, Mads.”

“Uh, okay?” I frown as he walks off, waving over his shoulder.

“Okay, Angel?” Braden slides an arm around my waist.

“Yes. Just Kyle being weird.” I shake it off and smile up at him.

“Kyle's always weird.” He drops a quick kiss to my lips, and we leave the building, turning towards the road that will take us to Starbucks. Oh, yum.

“No, he blushed.” I tilt my head, and I realize. “Oh! Oh.”

“What?”

“He thinks we had sex on Saturday.” I giggle. “Oh. He must have felt really awkward.”

“Why would he?” Braden says in a tight voice.

“Don't start that.” I slap his chest. “Because I mentioned I was wearing your shirt, that's why. He must have assumed.”

“Good.” He laughs and tugs me a little closer. “He might back off now.”

“He was never coming onto me.” I roll my eyes. “He may have given you that impression, but we're just friends.”

“Sure you are, beautiful. Maybe it's a good thing he knows that now,” he says sarcastically.

“Why, Bray, are you jealous?” I raise an eyebrow, and he pulls Starbucks' door open, glancing at me.

“Of Kyle? No. Why would I be?”

“You sound jealous to me.”

“I'm not.”

“Then why do you sound it?”

“I don't!”

“Yes, you do.”

“I'm not arguing about this, Maddie.”

“I'm not arguing,” I respond. “I'm asking, and you're not answering. There's a difference.”

He reels off our usual order to the barista and tucks some hair behind my ear. “You are arguing.” He smirks. “And you don't even realize it.”

I narrow my eyes at him and realize he's right. Damn him!

“Fine. You're not jealous. Whatever.”

“Oh, shut up.” He tugs me towards him and kisses my temple. “You're cute when you're angry.”

“I'm not angry!”

“Of course not.” He grins and grabs our order.

I huff and walk over to a a table with a sofa and two chairs. I sit in one of the chairs and stare at him.

“Making a point, Angel?”

“Not at all.” I smile sweetly and take my coffee and muffin. “I just wanted to sit here.”

“Fine,” he says, sitting in the chair opposite me. He watches me as I sip my coffee and pick at my muffin the same way I always do. It's unnerving. He's eating and drinking, yet he's not even taking his eyes away from me for a second. I don't even know if he's blinking.

I don't know if I like it or not. But hey, at least I'm playing the game right, right?

Right.

It's almost funny how sometimes, just sometimes, it feels so real that I forget about the game.

“You're thinking again.”

“I'm thinking about how hard you're staring at me.”

“Maybe I like staring at you.”

“Maybe I don't like you staring at me.”

“I think you're in an argumentative mood today, Maddie.”

“I think you-” I stop and tilt my head to the side, finally meeting his searing gaze. “Huh. You could be right there. How about that?” I grin.

He fights to control his smile, his already bright eyes brightening even more. “It's been known to happen.”

“You being right?”

“Yep. In fact, it happens all the time.”

“Mr. Always Right?” I raise a skeptical eyebrow.

“I'm male. Of course I'm always right.”

I laugh. “Okay, sweetie,” I say with a smile. “Here's the thing - you're male, and even though you like to think you're always right, you're not. I'm female and it's naturally wired into my brain to be right. I'm sorry to burst your bubble.”

Braden looks at me slowly, stirring his coffee absently. “You say that, but every time I look at you I know you're beautiful, and I'm absolutely right on that one. So in this case, I'm Mr. Always Right, because you'll always be beautiful.”

I pull the corner of my top lip into my mouth, trapping it between my teeth. I can feel a faint blush rising up my cheeks, and I glance down, uncomfortable.

Just when I'm reminded of the game, he goes and says something like that, reminding me that to him, this is real.

“Hey.” He gets up and moves towards me, crouching down in front of me. “I didn't mean to embarrass you.”

“You didn't,” I say softly and look up, holding his gaze. “I just... I don't know.”

He cups my chin and runs his thumb across my cheek. “You're not used to being told you're beautiful, are you?”

“What makes you say that?”

“The first time I told you, you cried. And now you're hiding.”

“The only people who ever said it were my parents. And since Mom died, Dad doesn't have much of a mind for anything.”

He rests his forehead against mine, and I close my eyes, fighting the tears that seem to spring up every time my parents are strung together in one thought. I can think of them separately, but when one is dead and the other wants to be, it's hard to group them together.

Because, really, Dad is all I have left in my family.

“Believe it,” Braden whispers softly. “Believe it, Angel, because you are beautiful. I'm not blind, and I'm not stupid – okay, maybe I'm kinda stupid sometimes –” I smile. “But I know you're beautiful. I see it every day.”

I lick my lips. “I'll never believe it, Bray, but I'll let you win this one.”

“Oh, you'll let me, will you?” he murmurs, amused.

“Yep.” I take his free hand in one of mine, lacing my fingers through his. “I'll let you.”

“So kind of you.” He chuckles and rubs his nose against mine, his lips coming to rest softly on mine.

I tighten my grip on his hand and kiss him back, wondering what I'm doing.

~

“So, we're all heading to Vegas this weekend,” Megan says casually, picking some lint off her jeans.

“Why?” I look up from the laptop.

“Braden's birthday.”

“I'msorrywhat?” I slam the laptop shut. “You're kidding.”

“No.” She smiles. “Did I forget to tell you? Oops.”

I chuck a pillow at her head. “Yes, you freakin' did! Nothing like short notice, Megan. Sheesh!”

“Well, you don't have to worry. We've booked the rooms. You're sharing with Braden, Lila is with Ryan, I'm with Kay, and Aston is sharing with a couple of the guys from their house.”

“Are we the only girls going?”

“Braden's orders.” She smiles slyly.

“Who would have thought?” I play with a piece of my hair.

“Who would have thought what? That he's said no girls besides us, or that you had an electric shock type jolt of panic go through your body at the thought you didn't know it was his birthday?” Her eyes gleam with a knowing no one should have. No one.

“The girls,” I reply, averting my gaze from her. I only panicked that I didn't know because of the challenge, right? Right. Right. Yep.

“Mmhmm.” She hums it out and lies back on the bed. “I totally believe you.”

“Megan, I do not have feelings for Braden Carter.” Not discernible ones, anyway.

“I never said otherwise, Maddie.”

My phone buzzes under my pillow and I grab it, opening the incoming text without glancing at the screen.

I'll see you in two days.

I think my heart just stopped beating. What?

My hands begin to shake, and I close it down, tapping on my Messages and opening it. Yep.

Pearce: I'll see you in two days.

I drop my phone and stare at it as if it's burning a hole in the comforter on my bed. I push my hair away from my face and tilt my head back, trying to still my shaking hands.

“Maddie?” Megan asks, sitting up. “What's wrong?”

I shake my head, unable to form any words. It doesn't matter, I want to say. Maybe I can arrange to meet him somewhere away from campus where No one else will have to see him.

Where No one else will have to find out the truth about what happened to my Mom, my Dad and my brother. Because, ultimately, they will. Drug addicts like my brother aren't exactly commonplace around here.

Megan places her hand on top of mine. “Maddie, you have to calm down, honey.”

I blink and focus on her, and I realize I can't breathe. I'm breathing too hard. Too fast.

Fuck.

I close my eyes and focus on the techniques I learned in yoga last year. Yes, yoga. Relaxation. In, out. In, out.

When I feel like I can answer the inevitable questions, I open my eyes. Megan's eyes are full of concern, full of worry.

“You wanna tell me what that was about?” she says softly, handing me a glass of water she must have gotten sometime while I was calming down.

I accept the glass and sip it, looking down. “I guess I don't have a choice.”

“You always have a choice.”

“No, I don't. He's made sure of that.” I look out the window.

“Who has?”

“My brother.”

“What's he doing, Mads?”

“He's coming here. He wants money, and I won't give it to him. Not anymore.”

“So tell him that when he gets here, and he'll leave.”

I look at her, almost sadly, because compared to me, she's led a sheltered life.

“You don't tell my brother anything, Megs. He'll do whatever it takes to get the money he needs to feed his habit.”

“His habit? Oh, you mean, drugs?”

I nod.

“Then he can get his own damn money!” She squeezes my hand.

“I wish it was that easy. When I meet him, I'll have to hand it over. I know I will.”

“You're going to meet him alone?”

I nod again.

“Hell fucking no!” She explodes, standing up. “Do you hear me, Maddie? Hell. Fucking. No. I don't wanna know what you mean when you say 'he'll do whatever it takes to get the money he needs' so I ain't gonna find out! When you meet your brother, you ain't gonna be alone.”

“Thanks, Meg, but-”

“No goddamn buts!” She shakes her head vehemently. “No buts! I love you, Maddie, and I can see you're absolutely petrified of him. I don't know why that is either, but I'm not letting you walk in there alone. If you don't wanna give him your money, then you damn well don't, and if he lays one finger on you, Braden will break his legs.”

I sigh, focusing on a spot on the wall behind her. “It's not that simple-”

“No, it is. The bottom line is I'm not letting you see your brother alone, and if that means you're not left alone for the next fucking month, then you won't be alone, do you get that? You're one of my best friends, and I care about you, and that means you don't have to do anything alone. Friendship means never having to be alone, it means there's a constant wall of solidarity even when everything else is crumbling around you. If he's the crumble in your life, then I'll be the damn wall!”

Tears spring to my eyes unannounced, and I smile gratefully at her. “Thank you, Megan. Thank you.”

She wraps her arms around me, and I cry silently into her shoulder for five minutes.

Friendship. Never having to be alone.

For the first time since my Mom died, I don't feel alone.

Chapter Twenty-Eight – Braden

“No, Mom. She's not a 'weekend buddy', as you put it,” I groan into the phone.

“Well Megan told Gloria you were dating, and when Gloria told me this morning over breakfast, I told her that was silly, that my boy isn't a dating kind of boy. She was adamant though, Braden, that you were dating this Maddie girl.”

“That's because I am.”

My mom has never been speechless before now. She has an answer for everything, and I guess that's where I get it from.

“You are?” she shrieks, delighted. “Oh, Braden! Thomas, Thomas! Gloria was right! Braden has a girlfriend!”

I cringe at how high she's squealing to my father. I hear his baritone voice declaring, “That's lovely, darling, I'm so happy for him, but could you possibly turn down the strangled cat a notch or two?”

I snort into my fist.

“Oh, what's she like, Braden? I must meet her. Oh, I'm so happy for you,” Mom babbles.

“Honestly, Mom, I'm dating her, not marrying her.”

“I know, I know, but she's your first girlfriend!”

“No she isn't.”

“Yes, darling, she is. You usually just sleep with them, and I know sleeping is all you do. Now, I've never been one to get involved in your business because, well, boys will be boys and all that. In fact, your Uncle Calvin was exactly the same when we went to college. Anyway, I'd just love to meet her.”

“I've been dating her for like, two weeks. Can you let me, y'know, be with her first?”

“Oh, you mean you haven't done it yet? Oh, good for her.”

“Mom, not like that!” Kill me. Just fucking shoot me now. “Be in a relationship with her. Let us get to know each other before I introduce her to my family, okay?”

“Oh, well I suppose.” She's pissed. Oh well. Damn Megan!

“I have to go, Mom,” I lie. “I have to get to class.”

“Of course you do. Now, be good, and make sure you use protection. I'm happy for you, Braden, but not that happy, do you understand?”

“Yes, Mom.” I grit my teeth. “Goodbye, Mom.”

“Goodbye, Braden.”

I put the phone down and sigh. Good god, I love my mom, but she's a fuckin' nightmare sometimes. Not to mention embarrassing. Really embarrassing.

I shake my head and glance out the window. Being directly opposite the main campus, I can see people coming and going. A fire-red head next to a blonde one catch my eye as they leave the gates, and I grin. I jump up onto my bed and push the window open, putting my fingers into my mouth and whistling loudly.

Maddie jumps, and Megan gives a perfunctory look over her shoulder, notices me, and gives me the finger. I laugh, return the gesture, and Maddie looks up at me smiling. She waves and I wink at her, blowing her a kiss. She laughs and shakes her head. She turns away, and they head towards Starbucks.

Damn Starbucks. The one near campus probably remains open on Maddie and Megan's money alone.

I grab the remote from the side and flick the TV on, reaching out with my leg to press the Xbox's start up button with my toe. I don't have a class for two hours.... I might as well put it to good use and get some practice in killing zombies.

Chapter Twenty-Nine – Maddie

If Pearce was telling me the truth, I should see him at some point today.

I don't think it'll be quite the brother-sister reunion he was hoping for.

Since Megan explained the situation to the girls – and I think she also told Braden, even if she won't admit it – I'm constantly surrounded. If there isn't Megan at my side, Kay is, or Braden, or Lila. Even Ryan walked me to class. That was creepy.

My body is warring with itself. My gut tells me that Pearce will be here while my head tells me it's not possible. After all, if he has the money to travel across the country, he has it to pay off his debts. Right? Not in his eyes. As much as I want to ignore it, I know he'll show.

I fidget all the way through my classes. I barely listen to anything any of the professors say, and even Braden doesn't joke his way through English like usual. He spends the hour running his fingers through my hair. Strangely, it relaxes me. A little. Sort of.

When dinner approaches and I still haven't seen Pearce, a part of me relaxes and lets my guard down. Of course, the reason I haven't seen him could be because I haven't left campus all day. I haven't even been close to leaving campus because I know if I'm here, I'm safe. Not even Pearce will go that far.

At least, I'm hoping he won't.

I didn't even go to Starbucks. I sent Braden instead. He was only too happy to go for me, providing I stayed sitting between Aston and Ryan on the green. I could have killed him. Aston spent the whole time examining my chest.

So for all I know Pearce is standing just outside the campus limits waiting for me.

I don't want to find out.

But I have to leave campus eventually. Tonight, in fact. To see Braden.

The game. Reality. It's all starting to mix. Feelings are clashing with feelings, and I'm starting to wonder what's real – if anything is real anymore.

I can separate my feelings about Braden and Pearce, and that scares me. They should be lumped in the same box with the same feelings and the same thoughts and the same fears. They shouldn't be separate. They shouldn't be discernible from one another.

“Eat,” Lila orders, shoving my plate back in front of me.

“I'm not hungry,” I lie through the twisting of my stomach. Nerves.

“I don't give a shit if you're hungry or not. You haven't eaten anything except half a blueberry muffin today. That's the first time you haven't finished one since we started college, so you're damn well eating it.” She gives me a hard look, and I narrow my eyes, grabbing two fries. I shove them in my mouth and exaggerate my chewing the way an insolent six year old would.

“There. I've eaten something.”

Lila glares at me. “Not good enough.”

Kay puts a hand on her shoulder. “Let me handle this, Princess.” She turns to me. “Eat the fuck up.”

I stare at her, meeting her hard look. My lips twitch slightly, but I hold in my smile. Kay raises an eyebrow, and I copy her.

“I thought I was in a college cafeteria, not a damn kindergarten playground,” Megan quips, sitting down.

I smile and pick my fork back up, stabbing some more fries. “Fine. You win. I'll eat.”

“All of it,” Lila demands.

“Some of it. I won't be able to eat it all.”

“She's right.” Megan looks at them both. “She's barely eaten, so if she eats all of it she'll make herself sick.”

“I ain't cleanin' up no damn vomit!” Kay folds her arms across her chest. “No fuckin' way.”

“You swear like a sailor.” Lila looks at her pointedly. “Have I ever told you that? Your potty mouth could give Braden, Aston and Ryan a run for their money – and they swear more than anyone I've ever met.”

“Why thank you.” Kay grins. “I'm choosing to ignore the last half of that speech, because on a bad day, I'd appreciate being called more manly than actual men, but those three aren't much of a comparison to a girl.”

Megan snorts. “She has a point.”

“Braden isn't as bad as Ryan and Aston,” I mutter. “Aston has more hair products than all of us put together, and Ryan spends as long on his hair daily as I do in a week.”

Lila pouts for a second then nods begrudgingly. “I suppose you have a point.”

“At least I know what to be this New Year.” Kay winks. “First Mate Kay at your service.”

“I dread to think how many people you'll be of service to on New Years Eve,” Megan says dryly.

Kay shoots her a look, and I laugh, looking down.

“What are you laughin' at, Stevens?”

I look up at Kay. “The fact you look so offended, yet you know it's absolutely true. Maybe we should get someone to reel you in, girl, 'cause you're a female Braden.”

Her eyes widen, and she looks at me in utter shock for thirty seconds. Lila gasps, and Megan shakes with silent laughter.

“Well, damn.” Kay shakes her head. “You could be right there.” She pauses, touching a finger to her lips for a second. “But at least I have variation. Males, female, gay, straight, y'know. Braden just goes for blondes.”

“Which is why I'm almost surprised this is working.” Lila smiles. “Because Maddie is definitely not a blonde.”

“There's nothing wrong with being blonde,” Megan huffs.

“Of course there isn't.” I pat her naturally-blonde hair. “But your hair is a nice blonde, not bottle blonde like the usual rats that rub against him.”

“Jealous, Maddie?” Kay's eyes flare with excitement.

“About as jealous as I will be this weekend when you make out with a female stripper in Vegas.”

Kay blinks. “I didn't even think of that. Maybe I'll take Aston with me. See if the little boy can handle it.”

Megan's eyes flicker to Kay and back again, but I'm the only one who catches the slight hardening of them. Oh.

“Let's go,” Lila says and stands, giving a resigned sigh at my half-full plate.

“Where are we going?” Kay groans.

“Frat house,” Megan replies, picking up her water bottle and dumping her plate.

“I spend half my fuckin' life in that house full of testosterone-filled dicks.”

“Don't be such a misery bum.” Lila pokes her. “Maybe if you liked those dicks a little more it wouldn't be so much hassle for you.”

“I'll have you know I like dick just fine, thank you very much.”

“Too much information.” I mime throwing up.

Kay tugs my hair, and we step into the evening sunshine. One thing I definitely prefer about California is the weather. You just don't get this kind of sun in Brooklyn.

I hum silently to myself, pretending not to notice that I'm actually off-campus. I mentally kick myself – I moved here to get away from my brother. I'm not in Brooklyn anymore, he doesn't have his asshole friends to back him up, and I'm not staring into the glassy eyes of a suicidal best friend.

I'm in California. I have my friends to back me up. I'm not alone.

I'm stronger than I was six months ago.

I won't give in.

“Maddie?”

I freeze.

Pearce.

I turn, slowly raising my eyes upwards. His brown hair is messy, his face pale and thinner than when I last saw him. There's no light in his eyes, no happiness in the smile plastered on his face.

“What, no happy greeting for your brother?”

“What are you actually doing here, Pearce?” My voice comes out stronger than I feel, and I'm thankful. I won't give in.

“What do you think I'm here for? I need your help, Maddie.” He steps towards me. “I'm in trouble, sis. I just need your help.”

“You always need my help. Problem is, you won't help yourself, will you?”

“You know why I do it. I miss her-”

“Don't you dare use her as an excuse!” Anger rises inside me, overcoming the fear, and I take a step forward, away from the girls. “Don't you dare use Mom as an excuse for your habit. You were into it before she died, so don't you stand there and feed me that bullshit!”

“It's not bullshit, Maddie. Really.”

“I miss her too, every damn day I miss her, Pearce, but it doesn't mean I have to turn to the closest narcotic to escape from it. Life is what you make it, and this is what she'd want me to make of mine. It's why she left me – left us – a college fund. She's probably turning in her grave at what her beloved son is doing now.”

“Mads, is that-?” Kay puts a protective hand on my arm.

“It's No one.” I shake her arm off. “Go home, Pearce. I won't help you anymore. I won't keep bailing you out.”

“I need you to, Maddie,” he begs. “It'll be the last time, I promise.”

“It's always the last time, though, isn't it, huh? Every. Single. Time. You say it's the last fucking time, and it never is, is it? It might be the last time you do whatever you're on now, but what's next? Ice? Heroin? Come on, Pearce! What next?!” I can't even register that people are staring. I don't even care I'm somehow right outside the frat house.

“That's shit, Maddie, and you know it! I just need your help!”

“And I've said no!” I walk up to him, jabbing him in the chest with a shaky hand. “I'm your sister, not your fucking keeper! You're twenty-two, sort your shit out! You can't keep running to me because your sorry ass can't keep a job down to support Dad. I've been here two months and I've had to pay Dad's rent because you are too busy getting jacked up!”

He grabs my arms. “And it's me that has to watch him move closer to killing himself every day while you're sunning it up here in California!”

“Getting an education!” I shove him away from me. “So that one day I can support Dad and get him the help he needs to move on!”

“So why won't you do it for me?!”

“Because you're a waste of air, Pearce.” I say it quietly but coldly. “I used to look up to you so much. You used to take me everywhere and we'd do anything. I knew we'd drift apart when you got to high school, but you changed into the people you used to despise. Mom used to work with drug addicts, for fuck sake! You knew what drugs would do to you, but you still did it. You still played around, and now, look at you.” I look him up and down. “You're not the brother I know. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're not even my brother at all.”

“What?” He grabs my wrist, squeezing it tightly.

“You're not my brother. Not anymore.” I fight to get him to loosen his grip. “How much have you put us through since Mom died, huh? First you played Abbi, made her fall in love with you while you controlled her and abused her because of the drugs, then you drove her to attempt suicide. I lost my best damn friend because you're fucked up! Dad told me to come here, far away from Brooklyn, where I could have a fresh start, and you just have to mess that up, don't you? You have to drag your sorry ass down here because you can't help but run up a goddamn bill for your drugs. You keep thinking 'oh, good little Maddie, she'll bail me out.' Not this time, Pearce. You and your habit can fuck off back to Brooklyn and stay there!”

He glares at me, the expression in his green-blue eyes as hard as rock. I stare back up at him, and the tension between us is palpable. For the first time, I admit my feelings about my brother to myself.

I hate him. It's a real hate, one that tinges everything and infects every happy memory I have of him. It's wrapping around the memories as I glare at him and wiping them out. As if they were never there.

With the loss of the memories, I lose a part of myself, but the rest of me strengthens.

I won't give in.

“I have no idea who you are, but it would be a smart idea to remove your hand from my girl,” Braden says in an icy tone.

I don't know where he is. I can't see him. I'm shaking, adrenaline and fear pumping through my body.

“I'm her brother.” Pearce laughs bitterly.

“All the more reason to get your fucking hands off her.” I feel Braden's hands on my arms. One of them moves to my wrist, and I fight my wince as he grips Pearce's wrist, squeezing until he releases me. I let my wrist hang limply down by my side, not wanting to give my brother the satisfaction of knowing he's hurt me.

“This is none of your business,” Pearce bites out.

“It's my business if you're hurtin' my girl, brother or not.” Braden pulls me into him. “You'd better leave, because I can guarantee I'm not the only one here protective over Maddie. There's a house full of boys in there that would happily come and kick your ass for hurtin' her.”

“It's between-”

“Nothing.” I say. “There is nothing to talk about, Pearce. I've made it clear where I stand, and I won't help you. You've wasted your time coming here.”

I stare him down until he steps back, hate and anger spitting from his eyes.

“Fine,” he snaps. “Fine. I guess I'll have to find another way.”

“It's about time,” I reply coldly.

“Mom would be devastated you weren't helping me,” he throws at me as he steps back.

“Fuck, that's enough!” Braden yells.

“Get the fuck out of here before I put you out of here,” Ryan threatens, holding Lila behind him and stepping up next to Braden. “I mean it.  No one talks to one of our girls that way. You have thirty seconds to get out of my fuckin' sight.”

“I'm goin',” Pearce says, throwing me one last look before he turns and walks down the sidewalk.

Whispers start up around us. I can imagine it. Good little Maddie – that's her brother? Bullshit. It's all bullshit.

“Inside,” Braden says softly to me, leading me towards the house. “And you all can fuck off.”

He pulls me through the door and up the stairs to his room. He shuts the door, and my legs buckle. I barely grab his desk before he snatches me back into his chest. I can't breathe. My heart is pounding, my chest is tight, and I'm shaking more than I knew possible.

I just stood up to my brother.

“Sssh,” Braden soothes. “He can't get near you anymore, Angel. I promise you. I won't let him.”

Tears sting my eyes, and I let them roll out, trickling down my cheeks. I fist his shirt in my hands and hold on tightly, the fear leaving me slowly.

“Come here.” He lifts me and carries me across the room, lying me down on the bed. He lies next to me, pulling my sobbing body into him. He tucks my face into his neck and holds me as close to him as I can get, so close we're practically one person. The covers go over me, and he tucks them under my chin.

Braden rocks us slightly, and I slowly begin to calm. In here, in this room, I'm safe.

With Braden, I am safe.

I don't know how long we lie here in silence, with him just holding me as if he's never going to let go. I don't think I want him to let go. I think I want him to keep holding me, to keep on keeping me safe.

I take a deep breath, and he kisses my forehead. I open my mouth to speak – to explain I guess – but he interrupts me.

“No, Maddie. Don't worry. It's getting late, you get some sleep.”

We must have been lying here for a long time.

“I can't sleep in my jeans,” I mumble in a thick voice.

“Shit,” he mutters, kissing my forehead again and getting up. He goes to his dresser and passes me a shirt. “Here, wear this.”

I smile gratefully at him and quickly change, aware of his hot eyes on me. When I'm done, he strips to his boxers and climbs back into his bed. He puts his arm out.

“Come here.”

I move over and curl into him, resting my head on his shoulder. My leg hooks over his, and my arm rests over his waist. His arm holds me to him while the other strokes my hair in a rhythmic beat.

I relax, and it doesn't take long for my thoughts to take over in my vulnerable state.

All the fighting I've done for the last two odd weeks has been futile. It's been a defense mechanism to protect myself, keep me safe so I didn't get hurt while I played the game.

But that's the problem. I've been so busy playing the game, I didn't notice when the game played me.

Somehow, the rules of the game have changed somewhere along the way without my knowledge.

Because I'm falling in love with Braden Carter.

Chapter Thirty – Braden

When she's lying in my arms, like she is now, she's vulnerable.

Only, I didn't realize just how vulnerable she was until last night. I also didn't realize how strong she was, how much fire is in her.

I look down at her. Her hair is fanned across my pillow, and her lips are parted slightly, her breath crawling over my bare chest. She looks peaceful when she's sleeping, like there aren't a thousand demons running around in her head and her heart. Like she isn't protecting herself from anything and everything.

My hand moves from its resting place on my stomach, and I smooth hair away from her face. She sniffs and moves closer to me, causing me to pull her even closer. My lips press against her forehead, and she slides an arm across my stomach, her fingers brushing the bare skin above the covers.

I'm not sure when I started to care for her so much. It could have been the day at the beach when she told me about her Mom, or it could have been when she went crazy at that girl in the cafeteria – when she went badass. It could have happened during one of our crazy make out sessions, or maybe it was while I was pretending to focus in English while I played with her hair.

Or maybe it was there all along.

Maybe I always cared about her, and I just buried it under sex.

I don't know. All I know is, now, I do care, and the game is becoming something more. It's becoming more real than anything I've ever known. It's becoming something I can hold on to. Something Maddie can hold on to.

I'm something she can hold on to.

“Good morning,” she says in a sleepy voice, yawning and rubbing at her eyes.

“Good morning, Angel,” I whisper softly. “How are you?”

She pauses for a second, her green eyes clouding over. “I'm not sure. I feel good, but I feel bad too.”

I kiss her forehead again, smoothing out her furrowed brow.

“I did the right thing yesterday, didn't I?” Her voice is full of doubt as her eyes travel up to mine. “Telling him no? Not helping him.”

“I think so,” I answer honestly.

“He is my brother, though.”

“Hey.” I tilt her face up. “You had a reason for saying no. He's obviously put you through something so bad that you don't feel like you can help him anymore. That's okay, Mads. He can't keep taking without giving you something back.”

She nods. “You're right. Everything he's put me through....” She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “I won't do it anymore. I won't be a doormat.”

I stroke her hair because I don't know what to say.

“I was five when I met Abbi. She was my first friend in kindergarten. We went through school together, right up until high school,” she says suddenly, breaking the silence between us.

“You don't have to-”

“No, no, I do.”

“Okay, Angel.”

Her eyes glaze over, and a small smile plays on her lips. “We did everything together. We were literally attached at the hip. If Abbi started a ballet class, I did too. If I quit and tried gymnastics, Abbi did too. That's how it was. Everyone said we must have been separated at birth because we were so alike, so attached to each other. I thought we always would be.

“When Mom died three years ago, Abbi was my rock. As my world fell apart and Dad got depressed, she was there to help me cope. She'd be there after school every day, cleaning and helping me cook. After Mom, I was the only one that could cook a decent meal – and since Mom had taught us both to cook, it made sense that she would help.

“But it changed when we started senior year. I knew that one day it would change. Maybe we wouldn't go to the same college or one of us would get a serious boyfriend. Well, one of us got a boyfriend. It wasn't me, and I didn't expect Abbi's boyfriend to be my brother.

“Pearce lost it when Mom died. He'd already been at high school for a few years when she was killed, so he'd been going to parties and stuff. He'd been trying out drugs, playing here and there, since he was about fifteen or sixteen, probably, so it was an easy vice for him to turn to. He sank deeper and deeper, going more and more into the habit, trying stronger and stronger drugs. Dad was too broken himself to stop him, and Pearce ate up his college fund from Mom doing drugs.

“So, yeah, I was surprised when Abbi and Pearce started dating. I mean, we were both honor roll students, so it was an absolutely cliché good-girl-falls-for-bad-boy scenario.” Maddie pauses, collecting her thoughts, and I carry on tracing my finger along her arm. “He seemed to treat her kind of well at first, I suppose. He'd be a jerk when he needed a fix, but he'd buy her flowers and stuff to apologize after. I tried warning her off, after all, I'd seen him spiral downwards, but she was determined she could save him.” She rolls her eyes. “Save him. It was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. In my mind, the only person that could save Pearce was Pearce. I'd tried talking to him after Mom died to no avail. I tried over and over until I couldn't do it anymore. Mom always said you couldn't help someone unless they wanted helping. That was her mantra since she worked with addicts.

“But Abbi wouldn't listen. At all. So, I went with her to his parties. She'd never admit it, but she was grateful. She wasn't a fan of his friends – neither was I, mind you, but I'd never let her go into that by herself. I'd been going to them for about two months, somehow keeping up honor roll while Abbi dropped it, when it all kicked off one night.

“Pearce didn't have enough cash on him to pay for his fix. The prices had gone up because his dealer's supply was getting low, and he didn't know. Pearce was at the stage where he needed a fix, badly, and when it all got crazy, Abbi tried to calm him down. He swung and caught her in the face. She went flying across the room. Her nose was gushing blood, and I ran straight to her side. Pearce didn't care. He just wanted his next fix. That was all that mattered to him.

“I ended up coughing up the extra cash, and it was the worst thing I ever did. He took it that since I helped him once, I'd do it again. He didn't seem concerned he'd hit Abbi – I still don't know if it was deliberate or accidental, but I do know it wasn't the last time.”

“Did you stop going to the parties?” My muscles are taut at the thought of her being in a place like that.

She nods. “I went to see Abbi the next day and told her I wouldn't go anymore and that she should break it off with Pearce. She refused. She told her parents she'd slipped on some ice and hit the pavement and that's why her nose was bleeding. It was November, so No one batted an eyelash at it. I felt terrible. I was letting her go to those parties by herself. It wasn't long before she was there as much as Pearce, although she never actually touched the drugs. She'd just have a few drinks.

“Over the next six months, she seemed to have an extra bruise every time I saw her. Whenever I asked her, she'd say she fell down the stairs, got pushed into a wall, or slipped in gym. Pearce pleaded innocence when I confronted him. He said he didn't know what she did when he was getting his fix. Slowly Abbi became someone I didn't know. Where she was once outgoing, carefree, and extroverted, she folded into herself. She became weak and dependent on my brother. And frightened. She was so scared of him. I would hear them arguing all the time, but I reminded myself she chose that. She chose to be with Pearce.

“I tried talking to her one last time, a last-ditch attempt to bring her back, but she wouldn't have it. Whatever it was Pearce had done to her, he'd broken my best friend.”

I hold her tighter to me when I feel her start to shake, and I know what she has to say next won't be good.

Chapter Thirty-One – Maddie

“I remember finding her. Her parents were out of town on business, and her Mom hadn't heard from her so she asked me to check on her. I went.” My hands shake, and my voice is flat, my body numb to the emotions as the night I discovered her plays in my mind.

“Abbi? Abbi, are you in there?” I had knocked on the door frantically. “I'll break in if I have to! C'mon, Abs, your mom is worried about you.”

Nothing. She didn't reply. I banged harder. “You have five seconds to reply or I'm coming in!”

I counted in my head using the Mississippi numbers. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi... We might not have talked in a month, but she was still my best friend.

“Okay, I'm coming in!” I warned one last time and stepped back, kicking the lock on the door a few times. The wood splintered, and I held it open. I stopped dead at the sight before me.

Abbi was lying in the bath fully clothed, the tub half full with her arm hanging over the side. Blood dripped from numerous lines and scratches all up her arm, and a small brown bottle caught my eye. My shaky hand reached out to grab the bottle. Paracetamol. The easiest way. Mom had taught us that – sixteen tablets would be enough if you went long enough without being discovered. Who knows how long Abbi had been locked in her bathroom?

“Oh, Abbi,” I sobbed out and dropped the bottle. It landed on the floor with a deafening clatter in the silence. I backed into the door frame, trying to stop my legs from buckling. I took my phone from my pocket, and my trembling thumb typed out nine one one.

Did she have a pulse? I didn't know. Was she breathing? I didn't know. I was scared to touch her. I was scared to move her. Please don't be dead, I thought. Please don't die on me too. First I'd lost Mom, I couldn't lose Abbi too. I couldn't lose both. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseno.

I hung up after giving the information and stayed staring at her still body. Her chest rose slightly, and a sliver of relief ran through me. She was alive. Maybe.

But why? Why? Why would she do it?

“I knew why, of course,” I whisper. “Pearce had driven her to it. He'd broken her so much that every piece of her was shattered. He'd destroyed her. The only thing she had left to do was exist.”

“Oh, Angel.” Braden holds me tight.

“She's alive. She's in an 'institution' for mentally ill teens outside of Brooklyn. She's alive, but she's not really living. Sometimes I wonder if she'd be better off not here, then I feel terrible.” Tears are warm as they coast down my cheeks. “I still don't know everything Pearce did to her, and I'll never find out. I don't want to know. The idea of it scares me.”

“You feel guilty, don't you?”

“Yes. If I'd just stayed with her, maybe I could have protected her more. I don't know, Bray. Maybe if I'd stayed by her side and not let her be alone, she'd still be, well, normal, I guess.”

“It's not your fault. You didn't do it.”

“I know that. I do, but I hate that I had to find her. It's a good thing I did, though. The paramedics said if I'd left it another few hours before going round, she would have died. She'd taken that many tablets and cut herself all over. She didn't stop at her arms. Her thighs and stomach were covered beneath her clothes. She was wearing black so I didn't see them, but the water in the bath kept the cuts open. She knew exactly what she was doing. It wasn't a cry for attention, it was a real attempt.”

I swipe at my cheeks, and Braden kisses the corners of my eyes. “That's why you hate your brother?”

I nod. “Because he made me lose everything. I'd already lost Mom, and I lost Abbi. Maybe not in the same way, but she's still not the person I knew. She never will be again.”

“I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I really am.” He kisses my forehead. “You know your brother will never come near you again, right? If he does, I'll kick his fuckin' ass, Maddie. I promise you that.”

I nod and press myself to him. “I know.”

“He won't hurt you anymore,” Braden whispers, his arms wrapping my body completely in a blanket of safety.

And I believe him.

~

“Let me in, you great big buffoon!” Lila shouts, hammering her fist against the door. “We have a road trip to start!”

“It's. Eight. A-fucking-m!” Kay snaps and pulls the door open. I sit up, rubbing my eyes.

“And it's going to take us eight hours to drive there, so get your lazy ass out of bed and finish packing!” Lila tugs her bag through the door followed by a grumpy Megan. Megan does not do early mornings.

She chucks a brown envelope at me. “Yours.”

“What is it?” I yawn and pick it up.

“Open it and find out.”

I rip it open and tip it upside down. A plastic cream-colored card falls out, and I stare at it. “Is that?”

“Fake ID?” Lila beams. “Yep.”

“And why do I have a fake ID?”

“Because we're going to Vegas,” Megan says dryly, raising an eyebrow. “And you can't go to Vegas and not have a fake ID.”

“Um, okay.” I shrug and put it on the nightstand, climbing out of bed.

Kay walks out of the bathroom, changed into her clothes for the day, and still grumbling about the “Fuckin' ungodly hour of the morning that should never be seen on a weekend.”

I laugh and pull my sweats from my drawer. Hey – it is eight a.m., and an eight-hour journey.

I head into the bathroom, change, and apply a bit of make-up, and get back out again.

“Are you packed?” Lila asks, tapping away on her cell.

“No. I wasn't expecting to leave at fucking eight a.m.,” Kay replies.

“Oh, goodness.” Megan looks at her. “Someone's happy this morning. You're just a little ray of sunshine today, aren't you, Kay?”

“Please don't go there,” I beg as I put the last of my things into my mini suitcase. “Just, don't even go there. She'll have you going all day.”

“It's-”

“Eight a.m. Get. Over. It.” Megan throws my pillow at Kay's head and I shake my head.

“Okay, the guys are ready and driving over now,” Lila announces.

“Wait, who's going with who? Where are we even staying?” I grab my fake ID and slip it into my purse.

“Um.” She holds up a finger and taps some more on her cell. “Okay, Maddie travels with Braden, Megan and Kay with me and Ryan, and Aston with the rest of the guys. We're staying at Treasure Island, and Maddie and Braden are sharing, me and Ryan are, Megan and Kay and Aston with the guys.”

I look at Megan. “She has a schedule on her phone, doesn't she?”

She nods serenely. “It's been there for a week.”

“Fuck ya schedule, Lila,” Kay says, standing and hoisting her bag onto the bed. “I'm packed, you're packed, and we're all packed. Let's move.”

Lila glares at her, stands, and grabs her bag. I sigh deeply, knowing this weekend is either going to be a great success or a great big flop.

Right now, I'm thinking flop.

I lock the dorm room door behind us and by the time we get to the bottom of the stairs, the guys are all parked up outside. Braden steps out from his Jetta and shoots a disarming smile my way. I smile back at him and let the main door shut behind me.

He walks towards me, taking the bag from me wordlessly and replacing it with his hand. He tugs me to the car and pops the trunk, putting my bag carefully next to his.

“Braden, you ready?” Aston leans out the window of his four-by-four.

Braden gives him a thumbs up. “You go on. We'll be right behind you.”

I wave at the girls and watch as the three other cars pull away from the dorm room and campus. Braden drops the lid of the trunk, and I look up at him.

“What was that for?”

He turns quickly, cupping my head, and his lips find mine. I tilt backwards, leaning against the car. His knee slips in between mine, and I grab his shirt when he unclasps our hands and puts his on my waist.

His lips are hot and sweet as they massage mine, and I taste chocolate chips and coffee. I nibble his bottom lip.

“Did you buy me coffee?” I murmur.

“It's in the car.” He pulls back, eyes twinkling.

“So, that's what that was all about.”

He rights me and drops another kiss onto my lips. “No. That was because I wanted to kiss you, because sitting next to you in a car for eight hours without kissing you is going to be a damn nightmare.”

“We can take a pit stop, you know. I want McDonalds for lunch.”

“Angel,” he says in a low voice. “These might be sweatpants, but they happen to fit you really well, especially around that ass.” He slides his hand down across my hip and cups my ass, his fingers flexing as he pulls my hips against his. “So if we stop, it won't be for fucking McDonalds.”

I swallow, my heart thudding in my chest. Apparently, with the realization I'm falling in love with him comes the realization that he can turn me to a puddle of red hot, bubbling, needy, desperately-wanting-him mush.

“Point taken,” I say in a somewhat strangled voice. “Let's go, before we never leave.”

“Don't tempt me,” he whispers and kisses the spot below my ear.

I slide from his grip and open my car door, getting inside. He wasn't lying – sitting in the cup holder is a coffee from Starbucks, and a muffin is sitting on the dashboard. He put that there before he got out. I smile and take it.

“Thank you,” I say as he starts the car up.

“Anytime.” He smiles over at me, and I smile shyly. I break a piece of the muffin off and lean over before he pulls away, putting it by his lips.

He opens his mouth, and I drop it between his lips. He closes his mouth, and as I pull my hand away, his lips brush the ends of my fingers. The simple contact sends a shiver through me, and I look down as if that'll hide my reaction. He coughs, clearing his throat and pulls away from the dorm block.

Good move.

Chapter Thirty-Two – Braden

Saying that being in a car with Maddie for eight hours would be a damn nightmare was the biggest fuckin' lie I've ever said.

It's hell. Every motel we pass by I want to park in, rent a room and take her in there and not leave until tomorrow. Every. Fucking. Motel.

But I don't want to fuck her. Oh no, not Maddie. I want to make love to her. I want to kiss every inch of that soft, golden skin, run my hands over every curve, and move inside her until she screams. Because I already know she does, and now I've admitted to myself that I feel something for her – and I mean really feel something for her – I want it to be more than a quick fuck somewhere in a parking lot. I want it to be special. More than anything I've ever experienced.

She drops her bag at the bottom of the king bed in our room in Treasure Island and looks around. Mom offered to book me a suite, but somehow I knew this would be enough for Maddie. Judging by the look on her face, I was right.

“Is it okay?” I perch on the green chair in the corner.

She nods. “It's beautiful.” She smiles, one of her light smiles that makes me smile back.

I knew it would be. The understated browns and greens of our room are calming and exactly what she needs after the week she's had because of her brother. Me?

I just need Maddie.

“Wanna go grab some food?”

“Uh, sure. Can I change first?” She gestures to her sweatpants.

“Sure, go ahead, Angel.”

She pulls some clothes from her bag and heads towards the en-suite bathroom, stopping on the way to kiss the corner of my mouth. She walks away, her ass wiggling, and I smile as I watch her go. I stare at the place her ass was for a good five minutes after she's shut the door.

I shake my head and secretly wonder if she's a witch and has cast a spell on me. No, she's too pretty for that. I shake my head again.

Thank fuck for this fake ID Megan managed to get, because I need a damn beer with this dinner.

The bathroom door opens, and Maddie steps out. I glance her way. The skin tight, black jeans she's wearing leave little to the imagination, and the hot pink top that flares from her boobs down makes me wonder exactly what's hidden underneath it. Her hair is piled high on top of her head with a few loose curls framing her face. She crosses the room, not noticing I'm practically drooling, and opens the mini suitcase. After some rummaging, she pulls out some black pumps with hot pink heels and slides her feet into them. She straightens, smooths her top in the full length mirror, and turns to me.

“Is this okay?”

I blink. Swallow. Shit. She looks fucking beautiful. “You look fucking beautiful.”

She smiles. “Thank you. Megan said to dress up, so....” She holds her hands out. “I dressed up.”

“I like you dressed up,” I mutter, walking over to her. I run my hands down her arms and take her hands, my eyes sweeping her from head to toe. “Yeah. I definitely like you dressed up. I like it a lot.”

She glances down then up at me through her lashes. “It's not too much?”

I shake my head and step closer to her, closing the distance between us. “No, it's perfect.” I kiss her softly. “Now I feel like I should be wearing a shirt.”

“Maybe you should be.” She smiles.

I grin at her and kiss her once more before turning away. I find a white shirt from my bag and a pair of dark jeans. I strip – no going into the bathroom like Maddie did – and change, feeling her eyes on me the whole time. I face her as I do up the buttons of my shirt, and her eyes are fixed on my chest. A small, smug smile graces my lips.

“Is my collar straight?” I ask, tilting my head back and exposing my neck.

“Mm? What?” She snaps back to it. “Oh, not quite.”

Her heels are soundless against the carpeted floor as she steps up to me and reaches up to adjust my collar. When she's done, she smooths her hands down my chest and kisses my neck, brushing her lips along the hollow of my collarbone afterward.

“Hey,” I whisper huskily. “None of that, or we won't be going for dinner.”

She smirks and steps back, letting her fingers trail down my body. “Stopping.”

I step forward. “You don't have to stop, Maddie, I'm just saying....”

“Well, I'm hungry.” She bats her eyelashes. “Where are we eating?”

“I was thinking Phil's Italian Steakhouse.”

She purses her lips for a moment. “Expensive.”

“And my treat.”

“You can't exactly take me for dinner on your birthday weekend, Bray.”

“Hey.” I step closer to her again, resting my hand on her hip and holding her chin. “You're my girl, so my birthday or not, if I wanna treat you, I'm gonna treat you, okay? And tonight I wanna treat you. You can pay for dinner tomorrow on my actual birthday.”

She sighs. “Well, okay, but you should know we're only going for pizza tomorrow night.”

Her eyes glimmer, and I grin at her. She smiles back. “Pizza is fine.”

“Good.” She leans up and kisses me. “Now feed me.”

“Yes, ma'am.” I take her hand and pull her from the room, slipping the key card into my pocket.

She leans into my side on the way down in the elevator. “Are the others meeting us there?”

“No.” I kiss the top of her head. “Dinner tonight is just for us.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” I squeeze her hand, and we step out. “See, I realized we haven't been for dinner yet, and according to Google that makes me a bad boyfriend.” I wink, and she laughs.

“You googled it? Really?”

I half-smile at her. “Only so it could be perfect for you.”

She stops laughing and leans up, touching her lips to my cheek. “It's perfect anyway.”

I stroke my thumb across the back of her hand. “Come on, let's get some food.”

~

The low light of Phil's Italian Steak House is perfect for dinner. Despite the place being packed – making me thankful I'd thought to book a table before we left college – there's something intimate about it.

Maybe it's because I've never really taken the time to be with Maddie before now. Maybe because it's finally more than just sex. I don't fuckin' know.

But being in this casino now with everyone makes me wish we were back in the restaurant.

Maddie runs her finger around the top of her wine glass.

“Okay, Angel?” I put a hand on her back.

She looks up and smiles. “I'm fine. You?”

“Fine.” I kiss her quickly.

Megan powers through our crowd and takes Maddie's free hand. “I'm stealing her. Go be a boy and play poker or something!”

“What are we gonna do?” Maddie asks and shrugs at me.

“There's a hot bartender over there, and I want his number!” Megan laughs, and I shake my head. Aston's head snaps round and watches her as she leaves. My eyes flick between them – okay, between them and Maddie.

Aston better not have designs on Megan because I'll break his fuckin' neck if he does.

The girls disappear into a throng of people, and I join the guys. “Poker?”

“Poker,” Ryan agrees, finishing his beer and putting the glass on the bar. We all move into the poker room to a mercifully free table. After sitting, Ryan signals to the dealer that he's got it. He deals in a way that only growing up in a casino can teach you. His smooth way with the cards means there’s no chance anyone other than the person the hand belongs to will have seen it. That's what you get when your Dad owns a casino in Atlantic City, I guess. You also get to deal at your own table if you know the casino owner, apparently.

“Game on,” Aston grins.

Ten minutes in, Aston is panicking as his pile of chips dwindle slowly.

“You have the shittest poker face I've ever seen,” Ryan announces. “And I've seen a lot, Aston.”

“Slot machines are just back in there if you want 'em.” I wink.

“Fuck off,” Aston says. “Slot machines are for girls.”

“And poker is for men who don't wobble their bottom lips when they have a shit hand.” Ed laughs.

The rest of the guys join in the piss-taking and after a few minutes, I break it up.

“All right, guys, come on,” I wave my hand. “Give the poor baby a break. It's not his fault the only card game he can play properly is fuckin' Old Maid.”

The table roars with laughter, and someone clips me round the back of the head.

“The fuck?” I turn and Megan is standing there with her eyebrows raised. “I thought you were getting some waiter's number.”

“I got it.” She waves a little piece of paper before tucking it into her purse. “But we got bored and want to do something else. Lila suggested hitting a club, either in or out of the hotel.”

I look at the guys, and they don't object.

Ryan shrugs. “Sounds good to me.”

“You only say that cause you're whipped, Ry.” Jake punches his arm.

Ryan shows his hand. “You'd say the same thing if you shared a bed with her. She's a fuckin' animal.”

Megan tosses a chip at his head. “Pigs! Do you think Lila discusses your sex life with us?”

“I know she does,” Ryan laughs. “You all discuss your sex life. It's like a bunch of Granny's being together at bingo.”

“You're all just a whole lot hotter.” Aston winks at Megan, and she rolls her eyes.

“Can we go? These shoes do have a wearable time limit, you know.” She cocks her leg to show the bright blue pumps with daggers for heels. “And I think Aston's had enough of you guys ripping on him now.”

We laugh and throw the cards down, deciding to call it even.

“Hey, Megan,” Aston slinks up beside her. “If those shoes get too much later, and you need a hand getting to your room, you know where I am.”

I clench my fists, watching as she turns to him and touches his chest, batting her eyelashes.

“Aston, honey, if I'm gonna get someone to take me to bed, it'll be someone more qualified than you. Say, someone who can play more than just Old Maid. You think on that and come back when you've at least learned to play Go Fish, get that?” She beams and spins on her heels, stalking out of the poker room, leaving him staring after her dumbfounded.

“And that, my friend.” I slap his shoulder. “Is what happens when you try your dirty tricks on a girl with more class than a month of your bed-warming whores.”

“Because you'd know all about that,” he replies dryly, following us out to the main hall.

I spy Maddie, twirling a piece of hair around her finger and laughing with Lila. “Actually, I would.”

I walk up behind her and circle her waist with my arms. “Ready to go?”

“Mhmm.” She turns her head into me, and we all head to the floor that holds the Kahunaville party bar.

Chapter Thirty-Three – Maddie

The Kahunaville party bar is tiki. Maybe Hawaiian. Personally, I always thought they were the same – and maybe they are.

Or maybe that's the wine already clouding my vision, so perhaps the margarita Megan just handed me isn't a smart idea. I'll drink it anyway because these girls have successfully corrupted me from the good girl I was a few weeks ago, to the semi-bad girl I am now.

I say semi-bad because I haven't had sex yet. Glancing up at Braden next to me, I think I might have to remedy that tonight. Then we'll have a pretty little Brooklyn Maddie and California Maddie with a dash of Braden Maddie all rolled into one.

What a delightful little package that'll be.

I accept Lila's hand when she holds it out to me to dance. My thoughts are getting morbid, and I won't let my past ruin this weekend for Braden. He deserves a good birthday.

Servers dance between tables, swaying their hips and the flair bartenders throw cocktails shakers around. If I was ten years younger, I'd absolutely want to be a flair bartender when I grew up. But I am grown up – sort of. And it's not really that great, is it?

Oh, sheesh. Apparently alcohol depresses me.

And makes me talk shit.

Shoot me.

I move with Lila to the beat of the music, and it doesn't take long for Megan to join us, shaking her hips in a way that has every guy besides Braden and Ryan fixating their eyes on her. I giggle.

“Where's Kay?” Lila asks.

“Not sure.” Megan shrugs. “I think she hooked up with someone doing a table in the casino. She said she'd text.”

“Check your phone,” I say. “Before we all get too drunk.”

Megan nods and reaches into her purse for it. “Yep, she hooked up with that guy.”

“A guy?” Lila and I say in unison. “A guy?”

“Yep.” Megan throws her head back and laughs. “Well, hey, she was right. She does like a bit of-”

“Bamboo stick?” Lila interrupts. I laugh again.

“Where do you come up with this?” I look at her.

“Well she can't exactly say dick out loud here, can't she?”

Megan smirks. “You just did.”

“Shit.” Lila covers her mouth. “So I did. Oh well, I am twenty-one.”

“For a weekend,” I whisper, and we all laugh.

“Are you compromising my girl?” Braden asks, stepping up smoothly behind me.

“I always compromise her,” Megan replies, unaffected. “You're just never around to see it.” She grins, and I look away, knowing she's referring to Play the Player.

Yeah, sorry, I kinda failed on the whole 'don't fall for him' thing. My bad.

Braden brushes his lips across my ear. “Leave the compromising to me.”

He's had whiskey, I can smell it – but he's not drunk. Have we danced that long? Apparently.

His hand creeps around to my stomach, his fingers splaying outwards. His body presses against me. “Let's get you a drink.”

I nod and silently allow him to lead me back to the bar. He takes me to a corner and, after ordering me whatever the hell a daiquiri is, sits me on a stool. He nudges my legs open and stands between them, one hand on the bar and another on my waist.

“Did you know that when you dance, your hips do this thing where they move?”

“I think that's the general idea.”

“No, but they move in this way that makes me wish we weren't in public,” he breathes, his fingers digging into my skin. “Because, see, they give me all kinds of crazy fuckin' ideas about how those hips would move beneath me.”

My heart pounds in my chest, and I swallow, trying in vain to steady my breathing. “Is that right?”

“It is.” He kisses my jaw, and I grip his shirt. I turn my face so my mouth ends up near his ear.

“Who said we have to stay in public?” I breathe out, feeling the want building up inside me. I let go of his shirt and let my hand fall down, my fingers brushing across his jeans and the evidence of just how turned-on my dancing has made him.

I'm not a virgin, not exactly well experienced, but something about Braden makes me lose all inhibitions. He makes me feel sexy.

His hips jerk, and he slides me across the stool so my body slams into his, the throbbing space between my legs hitting him. I take a sharp breath in, my back going straight.

“Then let's go.”

He tugs me up and waves for the bartender to give one of the girls my drink. With my hand firmly clasped in his, he pulls me through Kahunaville and towards the elevator outside the bar.

The doors ping open, and he pulls me in. He hits the button for our floor, and I find my back pressed against the cold, mirrored wall.

His electric blue eyes are heated, cloudy, misty. Needing, wanting. It's like our eyes are two opposite poles, held together by a damn strong attraction neither of us can fight.

“Maddie, are you drunk?” he asks.

“No. I'm not sober, but I'm not drunk.”

He strokes my side. “Because we're not doing this if you are. I'm not gonna take advantage of you.”

I grip his chin. “I'm not drunk, Braden. I know exactly what I'm doing. What we're doing.”

“Good.” He steps back as the doors open and I follow him through towards our room. He swipes the card through the door and holds it open for me, allowing me to pass through.

Braden shuts the door behind him, turning to face me slowly. The look in his eye has my heart pounding furiously against my chest like it's trying to escape.

His slow, calculated steps swallow up the room as he comes closer to me. All breath leaves my body as his tickles its way across my cheek, fluttering my hair. He raises his hand and runs it along the side of my head, pushing my curls back and tilting my face up to him. He grips my waist gently, his fingers flexing, and steps closer to me.

My chest heaves as I struggle to breathe, struggle to remember to breathe through the need enveloping me. My legs are beginning to shake with it and after the performance in the bar and being so close in the elevator, I know if it doesn't happen soon, I'll go crazy. He kisses the corner of my eye, trailing his lips down towards my jaw.

He pulls his head back, and the cloudy blue eyes I've come to know so well collide with mine. My chest heaves, and I lick my lips. He drops his gaze, and I feel his resolve leave in the way he pulls me towards him.

His lips find mine. Hot, soft, and slow. He kisses me so thoroughly yet so gently I want to cry. My hands wind around his neck, and I hold him to me, gripping the collar of his shirt. Our feet move in sync as we move backwards towards the bed, our lips locked the whole time. He stops me before I drop backwards and pulls away, looking into my eyes.

His hands slide under my shirt and gently roll it up my body, over my head and along my arms. My swollen lips part as he removes his.

I'm lowered back to the bed, and the second my back hits the mattress I hook my legs round his, kicking off my shoes. He kisses me again, his lips even hotter than last time. I respond greedily, flicking my tongue across his lips. He groans, and I feel his tongue meet mine.

His hands skim my waist, my stomach, my breasts. Every kiss, every touch, every breath - it all finds its way to the pit of my stomach. That red hot pool of lava is back and bubbling fiercely, demanding it gets the eruption it so desperately needs. The eruption I so desperately need.

I slide my hands across his back as his lips brush kisses along my jaw and down my neck. I shiver, the expectation already too much. He smiles against my skin, allowing his tongue to draw lazy circles down my chest. My back arches, and I press into him, his erection hitting my center.

“Beautiful. So, so beautiful.”

He unclasps my bra, and it falls to the sides. He takes one breast in his hand, the other in his mouth. I gasp. Loudly. His tongue swirls around one then the other and I tighten my leg muscles, my fingers digging into his muscular back.

“Braden.”

He ignores me, his mouth leaving me once again, only to ghost down my stomach. I'm panting - I can't focus on anything but the feel of him. The need for him. Want for him. Only him.

Kisses dot along just above the waistband of my jeans. The button is released, and he stops kissing me again. I glance down at him.

Holy. Crap.

He grips the zipper between his teeth, his eyes fixed on mine. I'm lost. I'm lost in the heat of his gaze, the electric blue fire burning there.

Slowly, he pulls my zipper down. With his teeth. His nose brushes the satin material waiting there for him, and my whole body twitches. He unwraps my legs from his, gently peeling the material down me. One leg first, his hands smoothing over the newly bare skin. My other leg rests on his shoulder, and he focuses on that, taking my jeans off completely.

Taking my foot in his hand, he kisses up my instep to my ankle, to my calf. Kisses rain up my leg, getting higher and higher and closer and closer until-

The other leg. The same pattern, the same places, the same kisses. His mouth is millimeters away from me, from the lava pool waiting for him. His fingers hook in the waistband of my thong, making them follow the same path as my jeans.

Hot breath across my hips. A hotter mouth descending slowly. An even hotter tongue making contact.

I gasp and moan simultaneously. One of Braden's hands presses on my stomach to stop the buck of my hips while the other reaches round to cup me behind, holding me to him. His tongue swirls and strokes and slips and slides. His mouth sucks, lips brush and teeth graze. Sensation builds, and I'm whimpering out moans, my hands gripping the cover beneath me, fisting it. My head thrashes side to side until-

I scream.

He kisses up my stomach slowly and in my half-dazed state, I hear the sound of another zipper being pulled. Material hitting carpet. Foil ripping.

Braden kisses me softly, and I can taste myself on him. His hand slips between my open legs, and I feel him move, his tip settling against me. My legs wrap around his waist, offering myself to him. My hands are on his back as he moves in, slowly.

I'm stretching to take him, and he swallows the moan that leaves me. The sensitive skin can't take it - I can't take it. He moves out slowly, finding a steady rhythm that has me going crazy.

“Braden, please,” I whisper against his neck, sucking lightly on his skin.

He slides a hand behind my back, and the other cups the back of my head. I graze my teeth along his shoulder, and he drops his head into my neck, kissing me repeatedly.

I clench my muscles once, and he loses pace, picking back up faster. Yes. This is what I want - what I need. I move with him, my hips undulating against his and I arch my back.

Breathing heavy. Forceful kisses. Desperate touches.

He kisses me hard as the sensation takes over, and I cry out his name, my whole body tensing as the waves roll over me. He falters, stops, and I feel all the air leave his lungs. He relaxes on top of me, his kiss slowly becoming softer.

We lie there, together, and when he discards the condom in the wastepaper basket and pulls me against him under the sheets, I know its game over - but not in the way I thought.

It's supposed to be over. We're supposed to be over.

But when his every touch tells me I'm beautiful, every look tells me I'm sexy, and every smile tells me I'm all he wants, what's really over is my part in the game.

What's just beginning, is the very thing I set out to avoid.

And because of that crazy little thing called love, I don't even care.

~

“Hash House A Go Go,” Braden suggests, glancing at the screen on his cell. “Their food looks really good.”

“Okay.” I lean over the bed and kiss his cheek. “Your choice.”

“We can go somewhere else.”

“No. It's your birthday, we'll go to this a go go place.”

“You're going to insist on paying, aren't you?”

I grab my purse and stop by the door. “Of course I am.”

He groans and pockets his cell, standing up. He grabs a light jacket from the chair and stops behind me, reaching for the door handle. He touches his lips to my bare shoulder, and I turn my face to him, smiling.

“You know what I'd really like for breakfast, Angel?” he murmurs against my skin.

“No idea, but I'm sure you're about to tell me.” I smirk.

“I'd really like breakfast in bed. With you.”

“With me being the breakfast?”

He chuckles and moves my hair away from my face with his nose. “You learn fast.”

He opens the door, and Megan freezes, her hand in a knocking position.

“Maybe another time,” I mutter and step away from Braden. He lets out a tortured breath.

“Good morning, Meggy. Can I help you?” he deadpans.

She blinks, offended. “Well, I was coming to offer to buy you breakfast, but if you're gonna be like that, I'll make you buy your own, you grumpy shit.”

Braden laughs and wraps an arm around her shoulders. “Maddie is already buying mine.”

Megan kisses his cheek. “Happy birthday, stud. And no, she's not.” She looks at me. “I'll buy breakfast.”

“Megs-” I argue.

“You can buy dinner.”

“It's only gonna be pizza.” Braden turns his blue eyes to me and smiles.

“Pizza is fine by me. I love pizza.” She turns and flounces down the hall to the elevator.

“Uh, Meggy?” Braden raises an eyebrow and takes my hand. “Is it just the three of us?”

“Don't be silly. Lila, Ryan and Aston are already downstairs.”

“Let me guess – Kay's still out?” I roll my eyes.

“Of course she is,” Megan says it like I shouldn't even have to ask.

I shouldn't have to ask, to be honest.

The elevator doors ping open, and I spy the others sitting by the main doors. Aston looks like he'd rather be anywhere other than here, Ryan looks like he needs more sleep than he's got, and Lila looks like Lila. She's the only morning person out of us – and it's already nine a.m.

“It's a good thing it's your birthday,” Ryan says as we approach. “'Cause otherwise I'd have to kick your ass for having me up at this time to go out for breakfast. Go out.” He shakes his head.

“Right, man,” Aston agrees. “What's wrong with fuckin' room service?”

“What's wrong with room service is they don't have soap to wash your mouth out with like I do.” Megan smiles sweetly at him, and Lila flicks Ryan's ear.

“You miserable shit,” she scolds, then looks at Braden. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks,” Braden half-smiles.

We all make to leave the hotel, and the dry desert heat hits us as soon as we step outside. There's no sea breeze, no reprieve from the heat that's already burning down on us.

“Sheesh.” Lila fans herself. “I think I just stepped into the desert.”

I look down at the sidewalk to hide my smile, and Braden laughs silently. I elbow him.

“Um, Lila, honey?” Megan says softly. “You are in the desert.”

“Oh shit.” Lila laughs at herself, and when I look back up, Ryan's head is shaking. There's always one – and it's nearly always Lila.

We walk for what feels like hours, and after a while I start wondering how anyone knows where we're going. I mention as much.

Megan replies by holding her phone over her shoulder. On the screen is Google Maps.

“You planned our route on Google Maps?”

“I did.” She winks.

“And you didn't think it would be easier to oh, I don't know, call a cab?” I raise my eyebrows, and Lila stops.

“Why didn't we think of that?” She looks back at me.

“I didn't know it was so far away.”

“It's round the corner,” Braden says. “Is it really that far?”

“Yes,” I grumble, walking again.

He drops my hand and wraps his arm round my waist, pulling me to stop. He bends and hooks his other arm around my knees, sweeping me up into his arms. I shriek and grab his neck.

“What are you doing?”

He laughs, burying his face in my hair as we walk. “I'm making sure you're not too tired for later,” he whispers.

“And what would that be?”

“Whatever you want it to be,” he breathes, kissing my ear. I shiver and tug a lock of his blonde hair at the bottom of his head.

“It's too early for dirty thoughts.”

“Hell no it isn't.” He glances down at my chest and legs before looking back ahead. I sigh and shake my head. Sometimes I know I won't win with him so I'll just leave him to it.

Besides, I can't exactly see another round of sex with Braden Carter being too much of a hardship.

Chapter Thirty-Four – Braden

I'm falling in love with Maddie Stevens. I know it. It's her laugh, her smile, her everything. For something that started off as a game, it's damn real now. It's more real than anything I've ever felt in my life.

It's not even sex – although that's fucking amazing. A part of me knows I could live without sex if it meant I could be with her. And I wouldn't give up sex for anything.

Especially not when a red dress that hugs every inch of every curve I've touched is being worn by the girl in question.

But no. Maddie is more than that. She's just more. She's a little broken, a little cracked, but she's also a whole lot of something I can't even describe. She's filling a part of me I didn't even know was empty.

I slink up behind her, sliding my hands onto her hips and kissing the exposed skin of her neck. She finishes brushing her hair and turns her face into me. A small smile graces her glossy pink lips.

“What?” she asks.

“I like this dress,” I reply.

“So do I.”

“I think I'd like it better on the floor, or slung over that chair over there, though.”

“I'm sure you would,” she says dryly. “But since everyone is waiting for us, it’s gonna have to stay exactly where it is for now.”

“Damn,” I mutter, leaving a trail of kisses across her neck. “Are you sure they can't wait a little longer, Angel?”

“Braden,” she scolds, wriggling from my hold. She turns and looks up at me. “If this dress comes off now, you won't leave this room.”

Truth.

“So it’s staying on.”

I groan and she laughs quietly, touching a hand to my cheek. She presses her lips against mine, hot and sweet, and I groan again.

“Do that again, and it won't be fucking staying on, Maddie.”

She grins and turns, bending over to take her shoes from under the bed. I watch her as she slips each foot into the black heels, the material of her dress barely covering her ass when she's bent over like that. A scrap of silky black material peeks out from under it, and my dick jumps to attention.

Okay, No one said the dress had to come off.

“Braden,” she says in a no nonsense voice.

“Maddie,” I reply innocently, taking in the view as she straightens.

“You know what I'm going to say-”

“I'm ready.” I stand and move towards her. “But you,” I mutter, running my hands down her sides. “Need to avoid bending over tonight.” I tug her dress down.

“And why is that?” Her voice is breathy.

“Because only one person will be seeing that tiny scrap of material you call underwear tonight, and he won't be seeing it in public.” I tilt my hips towards her, and she inhales sharply. “Deal?”

“Deal,” she agrees, stepping away from me. Her green eyes flicker down to my pants. “And put that thing away.”

I smirk. “'That thing' agrees, but only because he knows he'll be out later.”

The twitch of her lips gives away her amusement. “Stop it.” She grabs a small black purse from the side and walks over to the door. “Are you coming?”

“If I'm not already,” I mutter. “I will be later.”

~

In the VIP viewing area for the Sirens of TI show, I realize this must be Aston's idea. He's the only one who would plan this – and since only Ryan and I aren't single, I know all the guys would have agreed. Kay would have agreed, leaving Megan to chaperone her. Of course, I'd be here since it's my birthday weekend, so by default so would Maddie, Ryan and Lila.

And I know exactly what the sneaky little fucker is doing.

Send Braden to a sexy show and remind him he's sexing Maddie, not falling for her. Too fucking late, dude. Too fucking late.

Maddie looks down and smiles as if she can sense my annoyance. Ryan nudges me.

“Aston's a fuckin' joker, right?”

“You're tellin' me,” I mumble.

He shifts. “I dunno how I'm gonna get through this without dragging Lila back to the room.”

I don't intend to get through this. Dragging Maddie back to our room sounds promising already. Very promising.

“Right,” I agree, rubbing my face as the show starts.

Several incredibly hot girls run across the stage in the bare minimum of clothing. Is it wrong I'm imagining Maddie as one of those Sirens? Shit. I have this bad.

I shift in the seat as the girls begin to prance around the stage, grinding their bodies. Y'know what? I'm not even sure what they're doing. It's kinda blurry because they all look like Maddie to me.

Fuck this shit.

Maddie's mouth opens and closes, and she casts her eyes downwards. A quick glance to the other side of me shows Lila in the same position and Ryan shaking his head. I nudge Ryan and tilt my head towards the door. He nods once and leans into Lila.

“Angel, we're going,” I say in Maddie's ear.

“Thank god,” she mutters, taking my hand and standing with me.

We follow Lila and Ryan out into the foyer and both of the girls sigh with relief.

“That was a live porn show,” Lila says, unimpressed. “I'm not a prude, but Jesus Christ. How can they stand that?”

“He probably booked it before I started dating Maddie.” I kiss the side of her head. “I probably would have enjoyed it before this.”

Ryan's eyes meet mine, and he nods, ever so slightly. He gets it. He knows it's over. He winks.

“Well, baby,” he says, turning to Lila. “Shall we get an early night? It was late last night, and we do have to drive back tomorrow.”

“Sure.” She kisses his cheek and turns to us. “You two sleep well.” She winks at Maddie, and they walk into the elevator behind them, disappearing behind the doors.

“What about us?” I run my nose down Maddie's cheek. “Shall we get an 'early night'?”

She pulls back, a smirk on those lips I love. “I'm sure your early night isn't the same as mine.”

“Hell no it isn't.” I reach behind me to the wall and press the elevator button, turning her with me. The doors ping open and we get in to the empty elevator.

I run my hand around her side, my fingers smoothing the material of the tight dress she's wearing. She shivers, turning her body into mine and resting her hand on my chest, her fingers splayed.

“I'm pretty sure our early night is running on the same schedule, now, Angel.” I trail my lips down her earlobe and walk with her as the doors open on our floor.

She slides her hand round my back into the back pocket of my jeans and pulls out the room card, turning so she faces me fully. She slides the card through the lock behind her back and nudges the door open.

She walks backwards into the room, slipping the card onto the dresser in the corner. Maddie flicks her shoes off as she walks and turns, reaching behind for the zipper on her dress. I swallow and shut the door.

She pulls the zipper down and reveals her smooth skin beneath the bright material. I slide my shoes off and cross the room, undoing the buttons of my shirt.

My lips find her hot, bare skin, and I wrestle the zipper from her grip. I put a hand on her hip, and pull the zipper down, my lips trailing after it across her skin. Her hand clasps mine on her hip and I slide them round her stomach, straightening up.

I pull one side of the dress down, kissing along her bare shoulder. She turns her face into me and takes her arm from the dress. I take my hand from her hip and do the same to the other side, leaving her to roll it down her body.

I spin her, my eyes roaming down her black lacy underwear. Her eyes clash with mine. I explode.

I grab her against me and push her back against the bed, my lips melding with hers. The decorative pillows fall off the bed with the force of our fall. Maddie nips at my bottom lip and slides my shirt down my arms, leaving it to fall to the floor. Her legs hook around my waist and as I stroke her sides and probe at her skin with my fingertips she whimpers and pushes her hips into me. I undo my jeans and boxers, letting my hand glide up her leg to the satin underwear covering her.

I stroke the sensitive area through the material and she clenches her legs, pulling me in closer to her. I meet her eyes as my hands travel up her body to her bra, my fingers dipping inside the cups to tease her. Goose-pimples erupt on her skin and I kiss her bottom lip softly.

“Braden,” she whispers, her breathing heavy.

“Maddie,” I whisper back, my lips caressing her jaw.

“Please.” Her hands stroke my back. “Please.”

I kiss her again, harder, and reach for the condom packet I put under the pillow earlier. I slip it on without looking and after sliding her underwear down her legs, I push into her. She grips my back tightly and moves with me, sweat glistening against her skin.

One of my hands holds the small of her back as we move together, and I know, right now, is the exact moment I fall the rest of the way in love with Maddie Stevens.

Chapter Thirty-Five – Maddie

The urge to rip down the multicolored poster on the wall is almost stifling. It feels.... wrong.... to have it up there. Especially since it should be coming down anyway. After all....

Challenge complete.

I'm pretty sure he's in love with me, and we definitely had sex. Very good sex. Done. I should be laughing with the girls, drinking a celebratory bottle of whatever we want and remembering all the times. Instead, I'm remembering every touch of his skin on mine, every whispered word and how he held me so closely, how he looked at me as if I'm the only girl in the world.

To him, I could be.

The problem.... He's pretty much the only guy in the world. And I never planned on that, so I'm pretty screwed.

I never planned on him being so different to Pearce. I never planned on everything I thought I knew about him, all my pre-conceived notions about how he should act being stripped away and leaving him completely bare like a blank canvas. He took that blank canvas and painted it into something so beautiful, all without realizing it.

He also destroyed every idea I had about love. Three weeks. That's all it took for me to fall in love with Braden Carter. How did it change so quickly? He's gone from nothing to everything.

Like Pearce did for Abbi.

At what point do I start losing myself the way she did? At what point am I in too deep?

Am I already in too deep?

Braden is not Pearce.

Goddamn my asshole of a brother! I clench my fist and punch the pillow instead of ripping down the poster like I want to. I want to rip it into a thousand pieces and yell at the girls. I want to yell at them that it's over, the game is over and I lost. I lost because the loser falls in love, and I did that.

How can I do what they expect and not hurt myself in the process? I can't.

I have a week to figure out how to explain that I fell in love with the person I was definitely not supposed to.

Shit.

The dorm door bangs open, announcing the girls back from their Starbucks run.

“Update,” Megan demands, handing me my coffee and muffin. So what if I had one earlier. I totally get the comfort food thing now.

I settle onto my bed. “Same as it was last weekend,” I lie.

“Really?” Lila's eyebrows shoot up. “You guys didn't have sex?”

I shake my head. “No sex. Almost, but not quite.”

“Interesting,” Megan mumbles, kneeling next to me and tracing her finger down the poster. “He's in love with you.”

I drink my coffee to hide the crazy stop-start thing my heart just did. Yeah, I suspected it, but hearing his lifelong best friend say it is a little different.

“You think?” I look around the room.

“Oh yeah,” Kay agrees. “That guy has gone three weeks without sex, Maddie. He's fuckin' head over heels for you, baby girl.”

I smile. “Mission half accomplished, then.” Mission accomplished.

“Now just the other half.” Megan sits back down.

“Seven days,” Lila says softly. “Can you do it?”

I look at her. Her dark eyes are focused on me and full of questions. “I can do it.”

“And you're not in love with him?”

“Not even close.” Lies.

~

I sweep my hair up, securing it with a band, and yawn as I lean against the wall near the main campus doors. Meet me here at eight a.m., he said. Damn eight a.m. I yawn again and look up, smoothing my hair.

He's casually leaning against a tree across the sidewalk, his bright blue eyes trained on me. His hands are in his pockets, and his lips are curled up slightly. Damn. He is gorgeous – there's no doubt about it. And he's mine, a little voice in my head reminds me.

I fold my arms across my chest and stare him down, letting my hair hang over my shoulder. His eyebrow quirks, and I fight my smile. Him and his silly games. From one game to another....

Braden straightens and walks towards me. When he reaches me he looks down, sweeping some stray hair from my eyes.

“Good morning, Angel,” he says softly.

“Is it? I don't see a coffee in your hand,” I tease.

He smirks and leans in, touching his lips against mine. I stand on tiptoes, and my body presses against his as I kiss him back. I taste chocolate chips.

“You've already been to Starbucks,” I accuse, narrowing my eyes.

He chuckles. “You've turned me into an addict.”

“Where's my coffee?”

“In Starbucks,” he replies. “Let's sit in instead of standing out here.”

I nod. “I can't believe you got me up at this time and didn't have coffee in your hand immediately.”

“Hey, you.” He sweeps an arm around my waist and pulls me against him. “You're grumpy before you get your coffee, aren't you?” He's grinning.

“You should know this.” I trail my finger up his chest. “Didn't you discover that the last two days?”

“Mmm.” He sucks my bottom lip between his teeth. “And what a weekend it was.”

I halfheartedly slap his arm. “I want my coffee.” I pout.

He kisses me again and tucks me into his side. “Come on then, grumpy.”

I settle my arm around his waist and poke his side. “I'm not grumpy.”

“You're always grumpy.” He kisses my head.

“Psssh.” I shake my head, and he laughs.

Braden reaches for the door and shoves it open. The smell of coffee hits me full force, and I breathe it in, sighing in happiness.

“Nice to know coffee makes you feel good on a morning,” Braden mutters.

“If you'd been there when I woke up this morning, you could have been the feel good,” I mutter back, silently laughing to myself.

His step falters, and I bite my lip, amused.

“Did you just say that?”

I look up at him wide-eyed and blink twice. “Well it wasn't the barista that said it.”

“One weekend of hot sex and you've turned into an animal,” he whispers in my ear.

“Not quite.” I giggle. “I was merely making a statement.”

“Maybe tomorrow morning?” he asks hopefully.

“Maybe.” I laugh.

As he orders our coffees, I ignore the barista's evil looks in my direction and curl in closer to Braden. His arm tightens around my waist, and he carries the tray she gives him in one hand. Ignoring her flirty glances, he leads me over to the plush sofas we were sitting on last week, laying the tray on the table and dropping us both onto the sofa.

“Sofa this week,” he mutters.

I laugh and swing my legs over his, resting my head against his shoulder. He passes me my cup, and I wrap my hands around it, sipping it slightly. “That's better.” I sigh, feeling the warmth from the hot drink slipping down my throat.

“So....” Braden begins after a few moments, resting his hand on my thigh. “Have you, er, heard from your brother?”

“No,” I say softly. “Not a thing. I spoke to Dad when we got back yesterday night, and he hasn't seen him since he left Brooklyn to come here. I... I think I want to care, but I don't know if I can. Does that make me a terrible person?”

“No, Angel, God no.” His lips brush my forehead. “He put you through a lot, and sometimes, family or not, you have to say goodbye to people.”

“I hate it because we used to be so close. I remember helping Mom in the garden. Granted, Pearce was more of a hindrance than a help, but it was something that happened every year. We'd all go swimming once a week at the local pool, dinner... Then after what happened, it all kind of.... disappeared.”

“It's okay to miss him.”

“I don't know if I do. I don't know if I miss him or if I miss the memories. Maybe it's just the person he used to be that I miss.” I look at a spot on the wall. “I don't know who he is anymore. Maybe that's why a part of me finds it hard to care. I guess I lost my brother the same day I lost my Mom and most of my Dad.”

I sigh and rest my coffee on my legs. Letting it out feels good. I know I have to let go. I know, after three years, if I ever want to move on with my life I have to put it all behind me as best as I can. Mom will always be in my heart, but as long as I hold my brother there too, I'll never move on. I'll never live.

“The thing with memories is, they never die. You can keep them and relive them, and that's okay because they're the happy ones,” Braden muses. “Like the ones we make. Just replace the bad memories with ours.”

I smile and lean my head back up to look at him. “I'll try to do that.”

“And while you're trying, we'll make even more.” He smiles back.

It's strange to have someone understand you.

Chapter Thirty-Six – Braden

In approximately two days, this relationship should be over.

But it won't be. I can't see myself letting her go now.

Ever since we returned from Vegas, we've been together almost constantly. It's as if me realizing I'm in love with her has changed everything.

She's changed, too, though. She laughs more now. She smiles more. Maddie has a little light in her eyes that wasn't there before.

She presses a soft kiss to my lips, and I circle her waist with my arms, pulling her in closer to me. She squeals a little and puts her hands on my shoulders to steady herself. Her fingers dig in, and it makes me pull her closer. Her knees bend, and I open my legs so she can rest them on the chair. She does, and I slide my hands down to her hips.

“Can I help you?” I pull back slightly and smile at her. Her eyes flutter open, and she nods, pulling the corner of her top lip into her mouth. “What is it, Angel?”

“Let’s dance." She straightens, taking my hands from her hips and linking our fingers.

“I don't dance,” I protest lamely, trailing behind her.

She flashes me a coy look over her shoulder. “You do now.”

“Really, I don't.”

She pulls me into the throng of grinding bodies and drops my hand. Her fingers hook into the waistband of my jeans. My dick twitches. She yanks me towards her, right up against her. Her boobs press against my chest, and she looks up into my eyes slowly. It's a seductive move that would be wrong on anyone but her.

Her lips curl upwards slightly. “Really, Bray. You do dance.”

She trails her hand round my body, her fingertips brushing the skin beneath my shirt. Her hand comes to rest on my back, the other up on my shoulder. She looks at me expectantly.

Slowly, I trail a finger along her arm to her shoulder. I let my hand fall down her back to cup her hip. The other follows the same pattern but instead of her hip, I cup her ass. I pull her even closer to me and breathe into her hair. My head ducks until my lips brush her ear.

“Okay, Maddie. I dance,” I say. “Only for you, though.”

Her hips begin to sway with the beat of the music. They move side-to-side and her breath is heavy on my neck. Her whole body rubs against me, and when her hips grind against mine, I hold her in place against me. My rock solid dick presses into her hip and stomach. Her breath catches. Her hand moves to my hair, and she fans her fingers in it, holding me to her.

She moves again, and her leg rubs my thigh. I move my hand from her ass and grip her thigh, guiding it to hook around my hip. She lets me. I reposition myself so I press against the center of her pelvis and she gasps. I encourage her to move again, to the beat of the music.

She does. Shy Maddie has gone, and in her place is a Maddie I didn't know existed. As her hips writhe against me, I clench my teeth. I want to push everyone out the way, hold her against the wall and fuck her. Hard.

Her breathing quickens against my neck, and her leg clenches.

“Braden,” she whimpers. “No....”

“Yes.” I kiss her neck, cupping her ass with both hands. I move my hips against her, and she whimpers again, burying her face in my neck.

“Come on, Angel,” I whisper against her skin. “Let go.”

She does.

I lean back and capture her lips with mine as her body tenses all over. She quivers in my arms and I swallow her cry, sweeping my tongue through her mouth.

“Upstairs,” I mutter. “Fucking now.”

I pull her through the crowd on shaky legs. Need for this girl is overtaking me and I'm pretty damn sure I can't hear a thing apart from the pounding of my own heart.

I press her against my bedroom door and kiss her deeply. She winds her hands into my hair as I feel blindly for the handle. She slips her hand into the front pocket of my jeans, brushing my dick, and extracts the key. I take it from her and pull away for a second to put it in. I turn the key, pull it out, and turn the handle.

My lips meet Maddie's again greedily as she walks backwards through the door. I push the door shut, and her hands have moved down. She rips my top over my head. I grab the hem of her dress - thanking her silently for wearing one - and pull it off her. She pops open the button of my jeans and falls backwards to the bed. I barely stop to pull my clothes off.

Absently, I open the drawer, grab a condom, roll it on, and peel Maddie's underwear away from her. I lean over her, and she opens her legs, instantly wrapping them around my waist. She reaches out and positions me, her hips off the bed.

I move into her in one swift movement, hissing at how slick and wet she is from her orgasm downstairs. She wraps her legs tighter around me, and her hips meet me thrust for thrust. She scratches at my back as hers arches into me.

She tightens and relaxes around me as we move hard and fast. Sweat slicks our bodies. She digs her fingernails into my skin to keep hold of me as she begins to cry out. I clench my teeth, and she screams out my name. I move again, faster. I grunt out her name and collapse on top of her, absolutely exhausted.

Her heart pounds against her chest, against my chest. I lift my head and kiss her slowly.

“Okay?”

“Mmhmm,” she replies in a sleepy voice. She smiles slightly and shuts her eyes again.

I chuckle and pull out of her, taking off the condom and throwing it in the trash. “C'mere.”

I pull the covers back, and she scuttles under them. I climb over her and pull the covers over us, pulling her into my arms, both of us oblivious to the music pumping downstairs.

“Bray?”

“What, Angel?” I run my fingers through her hair.

“I.... Never mind.” She shakes her head and curls into me. I sigh and kiss her temple, holding her tighter.

Yeah, I think. I love you, too.

~

I wake to the smell of coffee and hair tickling my face. I open my eyes and look straight into Maddie's grinning face. She's straddling me, fully clothed and looking fresher than possible.

“Good morning!” she chirps, leaning forward and pressing her lips to mine.

“Mm,” I mumble, my hands sliding up her thighs. “Can we wake up this way every day? Maybe a little less material, though?”

She laughs and rolls to the side, flopping onto the mattress. She grabs a take-out cup from the nightstand, and rolls back, resting it on my stomach. “For you.”

“You're very happy this morning,” I say, studying her. “Not that I mind.”

She grins again. “Dad called early – I think he forgets the time difference sometimes – and told me about his doctor's appointment on Friday. Doc changed his medication again. Dad's not happy but they should help him more, give him more of a drive to do things, so I'm happy. I think that when he's used to it he'll be happier.”

“That's awesome news.” I grin and lean over, kissing her gently. Her dad isn't someone we’ve spoken about a lot, but I know how important he is to her. I know, like with everything else, she'll tell me more when she's ready.

She nods happily, her curls bouncing around her face. “Yes!” Her face drops a little. “They've tried so many times but nothing works. But it's not really a case of mental health with Dad, it's more a case of a broken heart. You can't cure a broken heart with anything but the love that broke it in the first place. He'll always be a little broken, I think.”

“Hey.” I lean round her and put the coffee down, propping myself up on my elbow. “It's okay to be a little broken, Maddie. Your Dad is a little broken for your mom but is a lot whole for you.”

She brightens suddenly, leaning forward and touching my cheek. “Thank you,” she murmurs, brushing her lips against mine. “How do you always make me feel better?”

I drop down and grab her waist, pulling her on top of me. She sweeps her hair to one side, letting it fall down over us like a fiery curtain.

“It's because I like seeing you happy.” I sit up, tightening my hold on her. Her arms wind around my neck, and she smiles shyly.

“Maybe I like being happy.”

“Good.” I dip my head and kiss her, tracing the seam of her lips with my tongue.

“Hey,” she mutters, pulling back. “I have work to do.”

“A work-out?” I grin wolfishly.

Her lips twitch upwards. “No. Schoolwork, Braden. Remember that?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should try to.”

“When I could work you instead? No thanks.”

She laughs and shoves me backwards, dropping down and kissing me one last time. “Get your lazy ass out of bed.” She jumps off the bed and grabs her purse from my desk.

I roll out of bed and run across the room.

“Braden! You're still naked!”

I grin and grab her, linking our hands and kissing her. I graze my teeth along her bottom lip, and she shivers, stepping back.

“Have fun, Angel.” I wink at her and launch myself back on the bed, pulling the covers over me.

She smirks at me over her shoulder and opens the door. “Try to do something productive today.”

“I will.”

She closes the door, and I reach for the coffee. Lying in bed thinking about her counts as productive....

Right?

Chapter Thirty-Seven – Maddie

I relax back on the bed a little. For the first time in months, I feel like I can actually let go.

Pearce has left California – I don't need to be a mind-reader, but he has no reason to stay here. I made it clear that he wasn't getting any help from me anymore. I have my own life to think about now, my own growing up to do. I can't be the grown up for both of us anymore.

And judging by the still-untitled essay on the page in front of me, I have a long way to go on the growing up scale. But life is like an essay: you just have to find the right words to put it together.

Someone knocks at the door quietly. I frown and look at Megan. She shrugs a shoulder and focuses back on her school work. I move my books over and slide off the bed, wondering who it could be. Lila would walk right in and Kay... Well, it's no surprise we have no idea where she is.

Braden's bright blue eyes crash into mine when I open the door. Shit shit shit shit!

“What are you doing here?” I hiss, pulling the door closed behind me.

“I came to see my girl.” He kisses me.

“Braden, this is the girl's dorm! You'll get your ass kicked by Kay if she finds out you've been here.”

“You could at least act happy to see me.”

“I'm a little surprised.” And panicking. Panicking, yes. Yes. Ah. Shit.

“Can I come in?” He knocks on the door, and springs creak inside. “Who's that if Kay's not here?”

“Megan,” I squeak out. “We're doing school work.”

He frowns. “Angel, are you okay? You sound a little.... Off.”

“I'm just worried you'll be caught.” Or that I will be.

“Let me in then. She won't find out.”

“We could always go out,” I offer.

Braden frowns and moves around me. Before I can say anything, he pushes the door open.

Megan is scrunching a large piece of paper into a ball. That and a corner of paper on the wall are the only telltale signs anything was there.

“What are you doing?” Braden says with a hint of amusement, looking at Megan.

“Nothing.” She smiles nervously. “Just, er, collecting some trash. Maddie has loads of it in her room.”

I follow Braden's eyes as he looks around the room. The spotless room.

“This room is cleaner than a hospital, Meggy,” he says. He turns to me. “Is everything okay?”

I nod. “It's fine. Meg, why don't you put that trash in the trashcan?”

She beams. “Good idea, Maddie. Good idea.” She throws it across the room and it lands in the basket Kay and I use.

“You two are acting weird. Are you sure that was trash?” Braden looks between us.

“Positive.” I nod again.

It doesn't stop his suspicious look. Megan fidgets uncomfortably.

“Why do I get the feeling you're hiding something from me? Especially you, Meggy,” Braden asks.

“I don't know,” she squeaks.

“Let's go out.” I pat his arm and slip my feet into some pumps.

“You are acting weird. What was that? Really?”

“Nothing!” I tug at his arm.

Braden shakes me off and crosses the room towards the trashcan. I look at Megan, panic welling inside me. She returns my fearful look with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. I stare at her, unable to move my eyes towards Braden as I hear the crinkling of paper being unwrapped.

My stomach is churning. Great big elephants are somersaulting in it. I want to be sick.

“'Operation Play the Player?'” He looks at Megan first then me. “Enlighten me, girls. What exactly was the point? I think I have a pretty good idea.”

Breathe, Maddie, breathe.

“Come on!” he says loudly. “What are you so desperate to hide?”

“To make you fall in love,” Megan says softly, dragging her eyes away from me and towards him.

“With Maddie?”

“With Maddie,” she clarifies, looking down.

“The whole time? That's what it was? A game?”

“Yes,” she whispers.

Tense silence spreads through the room, and I still haven't let my breath out. I can't. I meet his eyes, finally. I....

“Congratulations, you won.” He looks at me, his eyes raw with pain yet his face completely blank. “Consider it a success, Maddie. You got what you wanted.”

He sweeps past me, and the breath finally whooshes from my lungs. That movement jolts me into action, and I realize.

He knows. He's leaving.

It's not true. It's not a game. It's real. It's as real as anything I've ever known.

“Braden!” I yell, turning from Megan and flying down the dorm stairs after him. “Braden!”

I shove the heavy main door open, and he's walking down the pavement towards the frat house, his head hanging.

“Braden!” I yell one last time, desperation tinging my voice.

He stops, looks over his shoulder at me, and shakes his head. He keeps on walking. He disappears around the corner.

I collapse back against the wall and cover my mouth with my hand. Tears brim in my eyes, and I shake my head the same way he did. A heavy feeling is settling in my chest with the weight of the elephants that were somersaulting in my stomach earlier. My stomach clenches and I know.... I know whatever we had is gone. It's lost.

Because I didn't remove that stupid poster six days ago, when I should have.

Chapter Thirty-Eight - Braden

Something in me shatters as I walk away from her. I don't know what it is, and I can't think straight enough to even care what it is. I just know it was a big part of me – a big part of me that was all about her.

“Fuck!” I punch the wall outside the frat house and rest my head against it. “Fuck,” I mutter more quietly, pushing off of it and storming through the door.

The door slams into the wall behind it, the noise rebounding off the walls of the hallway. I kick it shut behind me, seeing red everywhere. Anger is all I can let myself feel.

But anger at what? Her? Me? Anger because I fell? Anger because she played me like I should have her?

“What the hell?” Aston's face appears at the top of the stairs. “Braden?”

I look up at him, my chest heaving as I try to control the bubbling emotions in my chest. I grip the banister with a shaking hand and run up the stairs two at a time, my shoulder knocking into Aston as I pass him.

“Dude? What?” He throws his arms out and follows me up the second staircase. I reach my room, shove the door open, and slam it in his face. Of all the people I want to see right now.... He's not one of them.

“Braden!”

“Fuck off, Aston,” I hiss the words out between my grinding teeth. My fists clench at my sides, and I drop my head back, looking up at the ceiling.

“What’s happened?”

What's happened? She happened.

“This.... Challenge fucking happened.” I turn to look at him, and he flinches slightly at the venom in my tone. “She happened. All this 'make her fall in love' bullshit is just that. Fucking bullshit! 'Cause guess what? I got played when I was tryin' to play her. She fucked me, in more ways than one, ‘cause it was all a damn lie. Now it's over. It's fuckin' over!”

I grab the lamp from the desk and chuck it against the wall. The china base smashes, pieces flying across my room.

“Dude, you have to calm down.” Aston steps forward warily, holding his hands up.

“You know what, Aston? You go out, fall in love with someone and when she breaks your heart, you tell me you can be fuckin' calm!” I yell. “Get the fuck out of my room. Now!”

He nods once and steps back. My door shuts with a click. Alone.

Me, the four walls, and a shattered lamp.

A game. Was it as much a game for her as it was for me? No. Because it wasn't a game for me, not in the end. It was real, maybe it was always real. But not for her. No. It was a game to fucking all of them. And Meggy....

My best friend. My. Best. Fucking. Friend. She knew what she was doing. Double the betrayal.

~

I lie back on my bed, my hands linked behind my head. My feet are crossed at the ankles, and I'm staring at the ceiling numbly. Last night's anger has subsided, courtesy of two hours sleep, and I'm fighting the sting left by the loss of Maddie. It's Saturday, and I should be meeting her for coffee right now.

Of course, that won't be happening today.

My door opens, the squeak of the hinges giving it away. My eyes flick over, a part of me stupidly hoping its Maddie. What for? An explanation?

I look back to the ceiling, disinterested, when I see Megan. I don't exactly want to see her any more than I want to see anyone else right now.

“I'm sorry,” she whispers.

“What are you sorry for, Megan? You did what you wanted.”

“I'm sorry because until last night, I assumed she was still just sex to you,” she admits. “But I was wrong, wasn't I? She's more than that.”

I roll my head to the side, meeting her baby blue eyes. “Look at me, Megan. Do I look like I want to discuss Maddie, you, or any of that bullshit right now?” She shakes her head sadly. “Then you know where my door is.”

“Bray-”

“Here's a hint. You just walked through it. Goodbye, Megan.”

She sighs sadly and turns. She stops, her hand poised on the doorknob. “She's hurting, too, Bray. At first, it was all a game, but it doesn't take a genius to see that it's not for Maddie. Not anymore. She was crushed last night, and I haven't even seen her yet today.” Her voice is soft. “I've read a thousand books and watched all the romantic movies in the world, but nothing has ever been as real as what you two had. Nothing has even come close to it.”

She opens the door and passes through, letting it shut behind her with a soft click. I stare at the door, tracing the pattern of the wood with my eyes.

Eventually, I return my attention to the blank canvas of the ceiling, fighting down the same old sting yet again.

Chapter Thirty-Nine – Maddie

I haven't seen him for five days. I haven't been to English because I'm not ready to see him. The pain without him is bad enough. That all-encompassing loneliness. I didn't realize how much he took away the pain until.... Until he stopped being there to take it from me.

I think seeing him now would make it impossible. It's bad enough in my other classes – snide, triumphant looks from other girls, appreciative glances from the guys – all because I'm not his anymore. All because it went the way everyone always thought it would.

I never imagined it'd hurt so much.

But Braden was right. I got what I wanted – what I originally wanted. Right now, I'd like nothing more than to have him wrap his arms around me and kiss the corners of my eyes, like he always used to whenever I was upset. But it's not like that anymore.

I hold my books tighter to my chest and duck my head, hiding behind my hair. I've dealt with pain before. I've suffered loss and heartbreak, I can do it again. It's a different pain, granted, but I'll survive. I have to. Losing my mom and best friend didn't break me, so losing him won't.

Because through all the death and pain in my life, I've survived. That's how I know I'll always survive.

Nothing can break you unless you let it.

A hand grabs my arm and steers me away from the crowds and through the side doors. I glance up – Kyle. As soon as we get outside, he wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to him.

“Don't be so sad,” he says softly. “A girl like you doesn't need a guy to be happy.”

“I know that, Kyle.” I tuck my hair behind my ear and rest my head against his shoulder. “But just because I don't need him doesn't mean I don't still want him.”

He tenses slightly but nods anyway. “He said it was all a game. It wasn't, was it?”

I sigh and step out of his grasp, my legs carrying me over to the picnic table under a large tree. I slide onto the bench and drop my books on the table. Kyle sits opposite me.

“At first it was a game,” I say honestly. “Kay, Megan and Lila challenged me to play him – to 'hump him and dump him.'” Kyle smiles dryly. I shrug a shoulder. “I agreed. What else could I do? He was too much like.... My brother.... For me to imagine ever getting feelings for him. But I did.”

“Because he isn't the asshat we all think he is?” Kyle raises an eyebrow, and I snort.

“He's an asshat, all right. He's egotistical, cocky, and smug.” I trace the wood on the table. “But he's also patient, gentle, and caring. He listened when I needed to talk. He was there. He wiped the tears and held me when I needed it. He made me laugh and made me forget. Before I knew it, I'd gone from hating him to liking him.” A tear makes a slow trail down my cheek. “To loving him. I don't know how it happened. Somewhere between all the laughs and tears, I fell in love with him. And I don't know how to get back up again.”

We're both silent for a minute as he processes what I just said.

“But I will.” I wipe at my cheek and smile weakly. “I've been knocked down before, and I get back up each time. I won't stay down for long.”

Kyle smiles reassuringly and nods in the direction of the building. “I see Kay moving her ass over here, so I'll leave you.”

“Thanks for listening, Kyle.” I reach over and squeeze his hand as he stands.

He squeezes back and leaves, turning and hesitating. “It's always gonna be him, isn't it, Maddie? No matter how high you climb back up.... It'll always be him.”

His words shock me until the truth of them sink in.

Braden was – is – the first guy I fell in love with. He's the first guy I ever gave myself to – not sexually, but emotionally. He knew everything about me, and if he's to be believed, he loved me anyway. For that, a part of me will always hold him close. Maybe I'll never stop loving him completely.

I nod slowly. Kyle smiles, nods once and waves to Kay, throwing me a wink over his shoulder.

“Did you just tell that hot piece of ass 'no' again? ‘Cause I'm tellin' you, baby girl, if you don't have him, I will.” Kay takes Kyle's seat and puts a coffee and muffin in front of me. Something in me twists and I force myself to accept them.

“I told him no. For the last time, I think.” I glance over her shoulder at his still-retreating figure. “He's just not the one for me.”

“But Carter is,” she says nonchalantly.

I blink. “I don't think so.”

“Oh, I do.” Her eyes pierce mine. “You been mopin' since he hot-tailed it outta our dorm room – and believe me, I'm pissed he saw my frilly pink boobie holder. But what can you do? Anyway,” she redirects herself. “I ain't gotta be damn Einstein to see you're in love with him. I gotta be honest, I don't understand what it is, but you love him, baby girl. Now, question is, what are you gonna do about it?”

I smile at her words. “Nothing,” I say and pick at my muffin. “Because nothing can right what I did.”

“But love don't get that. I'm no cupid, I tell ya, but you two are like peanut butter and jelly. You're pretty shit on your own, but get you together and actually, you're kinda good.”

I laugh a little. “Thanks, I think.”

She winks and waves her hand. “You're welcome. So, I'm gonna ask you again. What are you gonna do about it?”

I sigh and twirl the coffee cup round. “Nothing,” I say again. “Don't you see, Kay? This all started as a game. It was never meant to last forever because someone always has to win the game. Love or not, we were always destined for disaster. He was always gonna be the murderer in Clue, I'd always win the most money in Monopoly. Braden would always hold the most cards at the end of the round of Old Maid, and I'd always top him at Jenga. Not everyone has a 'one,' Kay, and whether he's mine or not, it doesn't mean we have to be a two. I did this because you guys asked me. I didn't want to – and I didn't want to fall in love. I was always going to have to deal with the fall out of this game and this just happens to be it.”

“Then you won't mind if we go to the frat house party tomorrow night.”

I stop breathing, my whole body freezing for a second. “No,” I lie eventually. “No, I won't mind.”

~

I'm torturing myself being here - especially before the party actually starts. Every place seems to have a memory of us, and even though I know it's my fault, it doesn't stop the sting that still accompanies each thought of him.

“Ryan, what do you mean?” I hear Lila ask as I pass the front room.

“I.... Shit. You weren't meant to find out, babe.”

“Obviously.”

“It's no different than what you guys did!”

“Oh, really? ‘Cause it is. We planned to get Braden to stop sleeping around. Your plan was to get her to fall in love just so he could sleep with her. Vile, Ryan!”

I gasp. I slap my hand over my mouth to stifle it, but Lila turns her head towards me.

“Maddie? Oh, crap,” she whispers, her soft eyes filling with regret. “I'm sorry.”

I'm shaking. Anger is flooding my body, red hot and ready to burst out of me. It's coupled with the dull pain of betrayal, the pain he felt.

The pain he lied about.

“Fuck!” Ryan looks at me.

I spin and storm off into the kitchen. He's at the bar, drinking a beer and talking with the guys. I can't see straight. I can't think straight. All I can see, all I can think, it's all him.

I grab his arm and pull him from the stool.

“Maddie? What the fuck?”

I look up into the blue eyes I fell in love with, and the anger increases. I shove his chest. “You!”

“What?” He looks at me, behind me, and I take a step closer. He steps backwards, and I keep stepping forward until he's backed against the wall.

“Congratulations, you won,” I mimic. “Remember that line, Braden? Remember the bullshit you laced in it? Remember every goddamn, fucking lie you've fed to me over four weeks?”

His face pales slightly, his eyes sparking with recognition. “Shit.”

“Shit is about right.” I'm shaking. Bad. I can't stop, because if I stop shaking the anger stops, and if the anger stops the tears will come. “Shit is about right because you played me all along, didn't you?! A quick fuck. That's all I ever was, isn't it? Well, did you enjoy it?”

“Maddie,” he says quietly. Sadness is in his eyes. “That's not how it was-”

“Lies. Don't fucking lie to me, Braden. I've heard enough of them recently, don't you think?”

“Angel-”

“I'm not your damn angel. I'm not your anything, other than the last person to warm your bed.” I shake my head and step back. My eyes meet his again. “Everything was a damn lie! I guess you played me as well as I played you, huh? 'Cause guess what? You got what you wanted. You won.” I walk backwards slowly, tears springing to my eyes. “I guess we both won.”

I turn from him and run through the house, shoving my way through the crowds forming at the front of it. I need to get away from this place. From this house, this campus, and this state.

My feet pound angrily against the floor as I run back to my dorm. I slam my door behind me and grab my cell, doing a quick Google search. Satisfied, I follow through the process on screen and pull my suitcase from under the bed. I shove random belongings into it, needing to leave.

Ring.

Reluctantly, I grab my phone and look at the screen. Kyle.

“What?” I wipe under my eyes, brushing away the hot tears there.

“Are you okay?”

“What do you think?”

“I'm sorry, Mads. If I'd have known....”

“You'd be too damn clever for Berkeley,” I reply. “Do you need anything, Kyle? I have a place to be.”

“Where are you going?”

“It doesn't matter.”

“Do you need a way to get there, wherever there is?”

“I can call a cab.”

“No. I'll come and get you. I'll be outside your dorm in five minutes.”

“Thank you,” I whisper and hang up. The background image of me and Braden smiling into the camera laughs in my face. I'd only put it on there for appearances, but then I couldn't change it.

I still can't change it. I stare at it, numbly, remembering that this particular picture was taken after Pearce's visit. My smile wasn't fake.

I don't think my smiles ever were.

A horn beeps, and I grab my suitcase handle, giving a cursory look around the dorm room. I leave, the door clicking shut behind me, and I bump my case down the stairs to where Kyle is waiting. He grabs it from me, hoisting it into his trunk. I get in the car silently.

“Where to?” He catches my eye.

“Promise you won't tell? Not even after you've taken me there. If anyone asks, say you don't know.”

“Maddie-”

“Kyle, please. I need to get away from here.”

“Fine,” he grumbles.

“Promise!”

“I promise. Where to?”

“The airport.” I gaze out of my window and hear his sharp intake of breath.

“The airport?”

“I'm leaving for a week. I'll call in sick at school.”

“Where are you going?”

“To see my Dad. I'm going home. To Brooklyn.”

Chapter Forty – Braden

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck and another fuck.

I stare at the space she just left through. A great, big, gaping hole. That's what she does.

She comes into your life in a wild burst of color, filling an empty space you didn't know was there. And when she leaves, she takes it all with her, painting it in shades of black and white.

I push off the wall. I'm determined to find her and explain. Two hands grab my arms.

“Braden, leave her, bro.” Aston tugs me back. “Let her calm down.”

Calm down? “No. Fuck no.”

“Bray.” Megan appears in front of me and I try to focus on her. “He's right. She needs to calm down.”

“No,” I argue. “She needs to know the truth, Meggy! She needs to know the damn truth!”

“And she will.” She cups my face and makes me look at her. Makes me focus. “She will, when she's calm. She's hurtin', Bray. Let her deal with it.”

Hurt. Hurt that I put there.

Prick.

I shake off Ryan and Aston and head for the backyard, slamming the door open hard. I storm to the side of the house and lean my head against the wall, feeling like the biggest asshole ever. A car starts from the front of the house. I look up - to see Kyle's car go past.

“Fuck!” I yell and punch the wall. Blood trickles from my already grazed knuckles, but I don't care. I don't give a flying fucking shit about anything other than the girl that just walked away from me.

Because through it all, all the kisses and the laughs, the playing and the joking, I never bothered to tell her how real she is to me.

All the times I've held her close at night through her nightmares, all the times I wiped away her tears and put a smile back on her face – they're the times that made it real. Seeing that light spark in her eyes when I did something that made her laugh, the pain in the same eyes when she remembered the past – they're what made her real.

But none of that matters now. She's taken it all with her. Every last bit followed her out of the frat house ten, fifteen minutes ago. I don't even know. I don't even know how long I've been out here. But I am alone.

I can go.

I-

“Don't even think about it.” Ryan's face is in mine as I turn from the wall.

“Fuck.” I spit and shake my fist, my brain registering the first tinges of pain from my bloodied knuckles.

“Inside. Ice on that and a beer,” Ryan orders, grabbing my arm and pulling me back towards the house.

“I can fuckin' walk, Ryan.” I yank my arm from his grip. “I've got bloody knuckles, not broken feet.”

“Really?” he drawls. “'Cause you look pretty fuckin' broken to me.” He shoves the door open and crosses the kitchen towards the freezer. He grabs an ice pack and hands it to me. I rest it on my knuckles, flinching at the cold. Ryan grabs two bottles of beer from the cooler and nods towards the door, meaning we should go upstairs. It's better than being down here.

I push my way through the crowd when I hear my name.

“At least someone finally did to him what he's done to half the girls in freshman year,” a voice I've never heard before states.

I see red. I've had about as much as I can take today, and I spin. Ryan stops me and through the angry film covering my eyes, I see Aston's fist fly into the speaker's face. It cracks into his nose, and he staggers backwards.

“Shut your fuckin' mouth,” Aston warns. “Anyone else wanna say somethin'?”

No one says anything.

“That's what I thought.” He shakes his fist out and looks at the guy he just hit in disgust. “Goddamn. You got a nose of fuckin' granite?”

Ryan snorts and pushes me back towards the door.

“Move it. Down here is the last place a live wire like you needs to be.”

Chapter Forty-One – Maddie

The house is the same as I left it, and a half shiver runs down my spine as I step from the cab. I wave to the driver in thanks as he leaves and look at the house properly.

Built just outside of city limits, our two-story house has been home my whole life. I played on the now yellowing grass in the front yard, planted the wilting flowers and, with Pearce, helped Dad paint the little fence that surrounds it.

A white picket fence. Cliché, but it was what Mom wanted - and Mom got it. It was the perfect family home. Until she died.

Now, the house is a shell of what it once was. There's no laughing in the kitchen at breakfast, no water fights when the flowers needed watering, and no Candy, Mom's cocker spaniel, there to greet you at the front door. Candy went not long after Mom.

I unhook the gate and walk to the front door, tugging my suitcase along after me in the darkness. I knock once on the door and step inside, noting the gentle light coming from the front room.

“Dad?”

“Maddie?”

I shut the door, stand my suitcase against the wall and take off my coat. Walking into the peach-colored front room, Mom's haven, I find Dad sitting in her chair in the corner. His hair is a little grayer, his cheeks more sunken, and his eyes a little duller than when I left - but he's still alive. Just.

He's holding on, barely, living every day without the person he thought he'd spend his whole life with.

I touch my lips to his cheek and take his hand. “How are you?”

“Better for seeing you, Maddie.” He smiles. There's a little light in his eye that lets me know it's true. “But what are you doing here?”

“I missed you, of course.”

“You don't have time off yet.”

I shrug a shoulder and look down. “I just wanted to see my Daddy.”

Gently, he pats the top of my hand. “Well, okay, sweetie. How about you go ahead and pop that kettle on?”

“Sure.” I stand and enter the white and red kitchen. There's a few dishes by the sink, only a day old, and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. He's eating. “Do you need your tablets soon?”

I bustle around the cupboards and pull out my Piglet mug, giving Dad's a quick rinse under the tap.

“Please,” he replies.

I make two teas - no matter what he protests, he's not having coffee at two a.m. - and take them into the front room, handing him his pills. He takes them without complaint.

“I wasn't expecting you to be up,” I say as I look out of the window.

“Just as I wasn't expecting my daughter to arrive in the dead of night.”

I look at him, and he raises an eyebrow. I nod slightly. “All right, old man. You win.”

“I'm not asleep because the new tablets Doc gave me have a couple side effects, insomnia being one, but you?” He shakes his head. “I can't believe my daughter missed me enough that she'd turn up in the place of her nightmares at 2 a.m.”

I smile sadly, still focusing out the window.

“So what brings you here, Maddie? Your old man isn't stupid.”

“Y'know what, Dad? I'm really tired.” I drink the last of my hot tea, stand, and stretch. “I think I'll head on up to bed. You try and get some sleep, okay? Goodnight.”

I kiss his forehead and leave the room. I bump my suitcase up the stairs and push open the door to my room. The white and pink room is untouched. I shut the door and after changing into some pajamas I left behind, I climb into bed, sinking into the rose-smelling fabric.

He still uses her favorite softener.

My phone vibrates from its position on my nightstand, and I grab it. Megan's name is on the screen.

Where are u? Everyone’s trying 2 find u. Bray's going crazy.

I bite my lip.

I'm in Brooklyn. I caught the next flight out. I needed to get away. I'm sorry. Don't worry xo

She responds immediately.

Shit the bed, Mads! Brooklyn? When will u be back? Xo

I'm not sure. Night, Megs xo

I turn the cell off and put it face-down, pulling my covers up to my chin.

Why would Braden be going crazy? It's painfully obvious he doesn't care about anything other than sex.

I choose to block all the memories away in a box and close my eyes, a single tear slipping out and falling onto the pillow.

~

I wake to a silent house. Well, an almost silent house. I open my bedroom door, and I can hear light snoring coming from Dad's room – no surprise there.

I pull my old robe tighter around me and silently pad down the old wooden stairs. Somehow, they never creak. I'd asked Mom about it once, and she said the fairies had come in as a favor and magicked them to silence. She'd apparently left a chocolate cake at the bottom of the garden in thanks.

I was seven, so I believed it. I also searched relentlessly for said fairies for the next six months. Unsurprisingly, I never found them.

In the light of day, in the old kitchen, the temperature difference suddenly hits me, and I shiver, making a beeline for the kettle in the corner. As it boils, I look out at the garden and the weaker winter sun shining on it.

Memories crash into me with the force of a tidal wave. They flit through my mind one at a time in quick succession. So quick I forget to breathe. I see Mom and Abbi.... Pearce and Dad.... Smiles.... The princess party I had when I was six.... The flowers Mom and I planted when I was ten.... The rose bushes Dad put in, saying 'two rose bushes for my two beautiful girls'.... Everything....

I hold onto the counter and press my temple with my other hand. Tears stream from my eyes, and I try to breathe deeply, to control it, the overwhelming feeling of loss sweeping through my body. It rises higher and higher until I feel choked. More recent memories flash in my mind.... And there's one constant. Always one thing, just the one thing I see.

Electric blue eyes. Braden.

I give in to the pain. I let myself let it go, and I slide down the cupboard to the old, stone floor as the kettle reaches its bubbling crescendo.

Brooklyn.... California.... The pain is always there.

Chapter Forty-Two – Braden

“Brooklyn? She's in fucking Brooklyn?” I yell at Megan and kick the bar in the kitchen. “Why is she there?”

“Because she doesn't want to be here,” she replies simply, sipping a lemonade.

“Have a fucking point for your smart-ass board, Megan,” I reply. “How are you so calm? She's in fucking Brooklyn!”

“I know where she is. She's at her Dad's, and she's safe. She needs to-”

“Don't you fuckin' dare tell me she needs to calm down! You told me that last night, and now she's not even here! If you'd just let me go after her-”

“You would have done something stupid, like pin her against a wall and force her to listen to you.” Megan looks at me pointedly.

“Well,” I say uncomfortably. “It wouldn't be unrealistic to say I'd do that.”

“Thank you.”

“But that's not the point,” I protest. “The point is, she's in Brooklyn. I'm in fucking California. How am I supposed to tell her the truth?”

“Which is what?”

“You know, Megan. Don't treat me like a fool.”

“Y'know what, Bray?” Her blue eyes are clear, and there's a hint of ice in them. “I don't know, because you've never actually been truthful when you've told me how you feel about her. You've fed me bullshit, and now? I still don't know. I know what I see, not what actually is.”

I sigh and sink onto the stool next to her, resting my elbows on the bar top and putting my head in my hands.

“I love her. I'm in love with her.”

Megan slurps as she sucks the last of her lemonade through her straw. She stands, putting a hand on my shoulder and leaning close to me.

“Then when she comes back, you better be ready with a whole damn production to let her know.”

She kisses the top of my head and leaves. The front door closes, and since it's still early, I'm the only one up.

I'm also the only one who didn't sleep last night.

I rub my eyes and look at the clock. Nine a.m. There's no point going to bed now, so I get up and flick the coffee machine on.

“Enough in there for two?”

My body tenses. “Depends. Any room in your car for two?”

“You know then.”

“Don't have to be a fuckin' genius to work it out, Kyle. Maddie's in Brooklyn, and you drove away five minutes after she left here last night. You took her to the airport.”

“She asked.”

“I don't give a fuck.” I turn and look at him. He steps back. “I don't give a fuck that she got there, or how she got there. All I care about is that she's there, and not here where she damn well should be. She hates that city, so right now she must really hate me if she'd rather be there than here.” I turn back to the coffee pot, slamming two mugs on the counter. I fill them and slide Kyle's along the counter, stepping to the side.

“Well, shit,” he says, taking the mug.

“What?”

“I never thought I'd see the day Braden Carter cared about a girl for more than what’s in her pants.”

I put the mug down. “You sound surprised.”

“I'm surprised you care. Am I surprised its Maddie you care about?” I look at him and he shakes his head. “Nah, man. Not at all. Much as I hate it, you're good together.”

I snort. “Just to convince her of that, now, right? Cause that's a walk in the fuckin' park.”

“You weren't the only one that played a game, Braden.” Kyle grabs his mug and stands up straight. “You both set out to play each other, and you did. You wouldn't listen to her when you found out, and now she won't listen to you. I'd say that's a level playing field, wouldn't you?” He quirks his eyebrows and walks past me, slapping my shoulder once.

A level playing field.

“Hey, Kyle?” I turn. “Thanks, man.” He salutes me and turns.

A level playing field. Another round of the game. Except this time, the stakes are a lot higher.

Because its two hearts invested into it.

~

My foot taps against the back porch as I lean against the wall, staring out at nothing in particular. It's been a week since I walked out of Maddie's dorm, and I didn't think it was truly possible until now, but I miss her.

I miss her so fucking much, it hurts.

But it’s not as if I can cross the road and talk my way into the dorm block to speak to her. Well, look how that turned out last time. No, because she's in fucking Brooklyn. Brooklyn.

I don't want to think of the pain it must have caused her to go back there, to a place she hates so deeply. She left because of me. Because I ran off and had a bitch fit for her doing exactly what I was doing.

What I was doing. Whether we both played a game or not, at some point, we would have had the same result. At some point, we would have fallen in love. Because, like Megan said to me, your forever person could be right there in front of you the whole time.

I'm nineteen. I don't do forever.

At least, I didn't. And then Maddie let me in. Whether she meant to or not, game playing or not, she let me in. And I saw it in her eyes last night. It was no game to her, and goddamn it all to hell, she's the realest fucking thing I've ever known.

Chapter Forty-Three – Maddie

After scrubbing the kitchen to work out the breakdown of this morning, I grab my coffee mug in both hands and sink into one of the kitchen chairs. It's not quite Starbucks, but for the first time in a year, I don't have the energy to make the run two blocks across to the nearest coffee shop.

The floorboards creak from upstairs, and a few seconds later Dad shuffles into the kitchen. He's already dressed – I guess I blocked everything out when I was cleaning.

“Morning, Maddie.” He kisses the top of my head and stops, looking around. “Kitchen looks clean.”

I shrug a shoulder. “I needed something to do.”

He glances at me as he pours a coffee. He takes four tablets from the bottles lined behind the kettle and throws them back, washing them down with the coffee. Dad makes his way to the table and sits opposite me, his gray-blue eyes studying me.

“So,” I say to break the silence. “Do you usually sleep this late?”

He grunts. “Like I said, damn tablets give me insomnia. So lately, yes.”

I nod. “Has Doc said how long it'll be for the side effects to wear off?”

“Few weeks. Like normal.”

I know it's a touchy subject for Dad. As much as he hates the fact he's living without Mom, he hates appearing weak. To him, depression is a sign of weakness.

It's not. Depression is a sign of strength – because it means no matter how weak your mind might be to you, your heart is still strong enough to feel.

“That's not too bad then. Hopefully you'll be back to normal in a few weeks.” I reach over and pat his lightly wrinkled hand. He looks at me, and I notice the little lines around his eyes, the faint indents around his mouth that should be proper laughter lines.

“As normal as I can be, Maddie,” he replies sadly, turning his hand under mine and squeezing my fingers.

I nod softly, knowing his words are true. Without her, he'll never be the same person he was when she was alive.

“So. You never did say why you were back,” Dad hedges.

I grimace slightly. “Like I said, I missed you. You must get lonely being here by yourself.”

“I might be alone, Maddie, but being alone doesn't mean you're lonely.” Dad sips his coffee. “In fact, I'm never alone. Your mother lives on in my heart. She's always with me.”

I blink back the tears that rise in my eyes.

“Nice save, by the way, kiddo.” He winks at me. “I get it. You don't wanna talk right now, but Maddie? By the time you go back to Berkeley, whenever that is, we will be talking.”

I sigh and run my finger around the top of my mug. “Okay, Daddy. Have you.... Er, have you heard from Pearce?”

Dad nods sharply. “Couple days ago. He got picked up for possession on his way back here. He was in downtown Brooklyn just about to hail a cab. Cop smelled whatever crap it was he'd been smoking. You know it ain't his first offense, Mads, so he's waiting for bail. If he gets it. He called here asking me to bail him out and I refused. Time that boy stopped being babied and helped by us.” He gives me a pointed look.

“I'm sorry, Dad,” I say sadly. “I just.... I didn't want Abbi to get hurt anymore, you know? That's why he was in California, though, he wanted money to pay off his debts. I sent one lot up thinking it was for you and it wasn't....”

“Your mom always used to say you can't help someone unless they wanna be helped, baby girl. Your brother is one of them people, as much as I hate to say it. He's gotta find his way outta this by himself. Nothin' and no one will be able to pull that boy out of this rut he's stuck in.”

I look towards the window and into the yard. “And no one will be able to right his wrongs.”

“You got that right.”

~

I've put this off for three days. I don't know why I'm here – maybe it's closure, maybe it's a reason so cliché I'm not even sure how to word it. But as I kill the engine on Dad's old car, I find myself staring at the large, white building that is home to my best friend.

I didn't even set out to come to St. Morris', I just arrived here. I rub my forehead and and climb from the car, pushing the door shut. The gravel path to the main door is the same as I remember, and the oak door still has the same rusty, golden knocker on.

I take a deep breath, smoothing my hair back with shaky hands, and I press the buzzer on the intercom.

“Welcome to St. Morris' Institution. Please state your name and who you're here to visit,” the voice says.

“Maddie Stevens, and I'm here to see Abigail Jenkins.”

A few seconds pass, and the door buzzes. “Come on in, Maddie.”

The warm peach of the front office surrounds me in a fake comfort. I approach the desk and see a nurse I know – Nurse Jayne.

“Maddie!” She stands and smiles at me. “We haven't seen you in a while.”

A raincloud of guilt has just pissed on me. “I've been to school – in California. This is the first time I've been back.”

Jayne nods as if she understands. “I'm sure Abbi knows that.”

She waves me on to follow her, like I don't already know the way to her room, and I tuck my hands in my pockets as I do.

“Is she any better?” I ask hesitantly.

Jayne is silent for a second, and I know that means no, no matter what she says next. “Some days are better than others. I think her therapy sessions with Dr. Hausen are helping her, but she's still very down.” She turns to me and puts a gentle hand on my arm. “She's not eating much, so she's lost a lot of weight. Try not to show your shock. It alarms her, and she can be hard to calm then.”

I nod. I know the rules. Don't upset her. Don't talk about Pearce. Don't mention guys or sex. Don't do anything I should be able to do with her.

Jayne knocks on room 18 and pushes the door open a crack. “Abbi? Abbi, love, you've a visitor today!”

Her voice is so cheery, and I try to swallow the panic creeping in my throat. Jayne sighs quietly and turns to me.

“She's having a small response day today, so don't be offended if she doesn't really acknowledge you. She knows you're there,” she whispers, stepping into the room as she pushes the door open. I nod again, my own responses muted, and walk into Abbi's room.

Her room has always been as close to her own bedroom as me and her Mom could do it. I remember bringing all her pictures over, her closet, the stuffed animals we'd won at funfairs. Even her desk is here, tucked in the corner.

Abbi is sitting in a plush armchair by the window. Her blonde hair hangs limply past her shoulders, and her hands are folded demurely in her lap. Her dull, gray eyes are focused on the activity going on outside. She'll never join them. You can see it in her eyes that she wants to – but the death grip that is her depression won't let her.

I nudge another armchair closer to her and sit down slowly. “Hey, Abs. How you doing?”

Nothing. I tuck my hands under my legs.

“You look well.” I'm lying. It's all a lie. The cheeriness in my voice, the calm outer shell. Inside I'm shaking, I'm crumbling, and I don't know how much longer I can hide it. I want my best friend back. It's childish but I do, dammit!

“Jayne says you're doing well. I've been in school, in California. I remember telling you I was going. It's not too bad there. I mean, I have some friends.” Her head turns towards me slightly. “But it's not home, you know? Sometimes I miss Brooklyn, and I miss you too. I'm glad you're doing okay.”

I'm babbling. I'm babbling so much, but it's all I can do.

Her fingers twitch, and her attention is back on the activity outside.

“I think they're silly, the ones outside. It's freezing cold out there. You're much better off inside here, in the warm.” I chew the inside of my cheek. “Has your mom been by lately? I gave her a call yesterday. She said you're doing well, too. Everyone's said so.”

Abbi's lips move, ever so slightly. I lean in a little. “What was that, Abs?”

“Outside,” she whispers, not taking her eyes off the yard.

“You want to go outside?”

“Please.” Her voice is so faint I'm straining to hear it.

“Of course,” I say, standing. “Let me go and ask Jayne-”

“You,” she says, turning her face to me. Her eyes focus on mine. “Me and you, Maddie.”

I take a deep breath and nod, letting her hook her arms around mine. She stands up on weak legs, and I guide her to the door where she has a puffy coat hanging. I help her into it.

“Let's take a walk to the nurse's station and let Jayne know, okay?” We walk slowly down the corridor, her slippers shuffling along the linoleum. Jayne double-takes as we approach her.

“Abbi's asked to go outside,” I say carefully. “She wants me to take her. That's okay, isn't it?”

Jayne nods enthusiastically and smiles widely. “Of course it is! I'll pop the time on the board, and you let us know when you come back so we can jot it down. You girls have fun.”

I didn't know fun was possible in this place.

“Come on, Abs. Let's get you some sunshine, okay?” We move towards and through the glass doors, letting a small winter breeze blow into the building.

Abbi stops as soon as we step outside. She closes her eyes, and I watch her take a deep breath. I wonder when the last time she came outside was.

“Where do you want to go?”

She opens her eyes and looks over at a bench surrounded by rose bushes. I nod and help her down some steps. The activity is still going on and we ignore it as we cross the grass. I pull my coat a little tighter around me with my free hand and help Abbi sit.

“It's nice outside, huh?” I lower myself to sit next to her.

Abbi nods slowly, her hair swaying. “The noise is nice,” she says quietly.

“I bet.” I reach over and touch her hand. She grips it with her bony fingers.

“What is college like?”

I inhale sharply and look at her. Her eyes are watching the group activity, the only indication she's giving I'm here apart from talking is the way she's holding my hand.

“It's.... Different to high school. I mean, there are less classes and more free time. And a Starbucks just around the corner.” Abbi's lips twitch. “I've made some friends, like I said, but I wish you were there.” She nods.

“Me, too. We would have killed Cali, right?” She looks at me again.

“We still will,” I promise. “One day, Abs, me and you will show Cali the time of its life. Okay?”

Her lips twitch again. “Deal, deal, pig squeal.”

“Deal, deal, squeaky eel.” I smile at our childhood rhyme.

“Who is he?” She tilts her head to the side, her eyes finding a spot behind me.

“Who is who?” I say tentatively.

“The reason you're sad.”

“I'm not sad.”

She nods, her eyes unfocused. “You are. I can see it. What did he do?”

“He didn't really do anything. It was both of us.”

“What's his name?”

“Braden.”

Her head bobs. “Tell me.”

“Are you-”

“Tell me. I want to know, Maddie.”

I take a deep breath, and I pour out the story. I start at the challenge and finish at my arrival to St. Morris'.

We're silent for a while after I finish, the only noise the fall birds chirping in the yard and the wind whipping around us.

“Can we go back?” Abbi asks.

“Sure, Abs. Come on.”

We make our way to her room, stopping off at the nurse's station to check in with Jayne. I help Abbi from her coat and back into the chair.

“You love him,” Abbi says matter of factly, settling into the cushions. She's looking out the window again.

“Yes, I do,” I admit, standing beside her.

“So tell him,” she replies simply. “We have to tell people sometimes.... Because they don't always know. It's a little word that means a lot. Sometimes, love is all you need, even when you think you don't. Sometimes, you just have to say it.”

I beat back the rising tears desperately, refusing to cry in front of her.

I bend over and kiss the top of her head. “I love you, Abbi.”

“I love you, Maddie.”

“I'll see you soon.” I choke the words out and head towards the door. As I open it, I know Abbi is lost back in her own world again, where the only constant is pain. I'm glad I could give her the freedom from it she so desperately needed.

I acknowledge Jayne at the desk and all but run back to the car. I yank the door open and slide in, pulling the door shut with a bang behind me.

Finally, I let the emotion overtake me. Tears spill over my eyes, and I rest my forehead against the steering wheel, holding it tightly. The tears drip down onto my legs and I know she was right. Even in her 'damaged' state, my best friend can still talk more sense than I can mentally healthy.

So tell him. It's not that easy, but what if I did? Would that make me like Abbi?

Maybe getting out now was for the best. A month – any longer, and I might have become dependent. But.... Braden isn't Pearce and I know that.

Besides, if it was all bad, then I wouldn't be hurting so much.

Chapter Forty-Four – Braden

It's Thursday night, and some prick – I don't know who – had decided to have a party at the frat house. I'd put my money on Aston. He's been trying to get me out of my 'fuckin' ridiculous mood' since Maddie left.

But it doesn't work like that.

She's been in Brooklyn for five days now. Every day she's there, she's not here. I know, Captain Fucking Obvious with that statement, but I want her here.

I want her here in front of me so I can cup her cheeks and wipe away the tears. I want to hold her and promise her the world, apologize for everything. I want to know she feels the same. I want to know it wasn't just a game for her, either.

The worst part is I'd play it all over again if it meant another few weeks where we were happy.

“Look, I'm not interested.” I gently push yet another girl away from me. She pouts and sticks her chest out, batting her eyelashes. I sigh and shake my head, turning my attention to where Megan is throwing back shots with Kay. The girl behind me disappears.

Megan catches my eye and smiles sadly. I stand and push my way over to her.

“Have you spoken to her?” I ask hopefully. She hesitates. “Megan!”

She nods. “Today.”

“And?”

“She'll be back tomorrow,” she answers softly. “She's done everything she needed to.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don't really know what rights you have to ask that question, Carter.” Kay raises an eyebrow at me.

I look at her. “And I don't get what rights you have to bitch to me, considering you're part of the reason we're both fuckin' miserable – and why Maddie is in Brooklyn.”

She looks away, ashamed, and Megan flinches.

“Meggy, I know you never-”

“But we did,” she interrupts me. “We did hurt you, and we hurt both of you. If anyone is to blame, it's us, and Ryan and Aston. They have to accept their part in it.” She scowls over my shoulder. “Especially Aston.”

I don't even wanna look.

“We're all a little to blame, I guess.” I shrug. “I just have to hope I can make it up to her when she gets back. If she wants to talk to me.”

“If she wants to see you,” Kay reminds me. “Hey, I'm just sayin', ya know? She didn't before.”

“Thanks, Kay,” I snap and turn, pushing my way through the kitchen to the yard.

Ignoring a couple making out against the wall, I jump from the porch and head towards the trees at the end of the grass. I lean back against a tree and pull my cell from my pocket, scrolling through the numbers until I reach hers. My finger hovers over the call button, but I eventually settle on sending a text. I write several and delete them all, settling on three words – three secondary words, 'cause I'm too damn chicken to send the real ones.

I miss you.

Chapter Forty-Five – Maddie

Pushing my thoughts of Braden to the back of my mind, I pull my suitcase down the stairs. It's been a strange few days at home, rife with emotion and thinking. And the worst is yet to come, because I still haven't admitted to Dad why I came home so quickly. I know he's about to find out.

“Well, you have a safe trip back home, Maddie,” Dad says and hugs me tightly.

“I'm home right now, Dad. I'm just going back to school,” I reply and extricate myself from his arms.

“Oh, no, honey. Wherever your heart is, that's where your home is. I think you left your heart in California. University of California, Berkeley, to be exact.”

I narrow my eyes and look at him. “What?”

“It doesn't take a genius to work out you fell in love and ran, Maddie. Your Mom did the same thing when we were younger. But you know what, Mads? You have to fight for love, because it doesn't come easily, not the real thing, anyway. I don't know who this guy is, or what's happened, but running won't make it better, baby.” He touches his fingers to my chin and lifts my face slightly. “Truth of life is that no matter what it is – loss, heartbreak, happiness, love – those emotions are so damn strong they'll follow you no matter where you go. You could go to the ends of the Earth and love would still follow you there. It's not a place or a memory, oh no. Love is something inside you, something that only you can feel, because your love is yours. You'll never leave it behind. You could go cross-country, cross oceans or travel to the moon and that love? It'll still be there, tucked away in a dark corner of your heart just waiting for you to acknowledge it.”

A horn beeps outside.

“Don't you run from it, Maddie, because runnin' never did anyone any good. I may not know much anymore, but I'll always know love. Your mom taught me that, and she taught you it too.” His eyes glisten with tears and I know he's looking at me and seeing her. “She left you her spirit, baby, in all those memories and in that love, she left you it. She'd tell you to go and run into love with your arms wide open. Whoever this guy is, he's a damn lucky guy to have you in love with him, so you make sure he knows it.” He kisses my forehead. “Go on with you, now. Your ride is outside. Let me know when you get there.”

I nod, my throat filled with a lump of emotion. Mom, Braden, and love all in one sentence is too much to swallow. Literally.

I hug Dad one last time and kiss his cheek before wheeling my suitcase away from the house I've loved my whole life. I pop the trunk of the cab and lift it in, eventually moving to the back seat. I look out the window and wave to Dad as we pull away.

Away from one home, ready for another.

~

There's a serious damn temperature difference between Brooklyn and California, and I've never been happier to change into some shorts and a tank when I finally get back to my dorm room. I tie my hair on top of my head in a messy bun and decide to head down to the laundry room tomorrow. The time difference will mess with me today.

Honestly, I just want to nap right now.

The door opens, and Lila flies across the room, pushing me back onto the bed. She squeezes me tightly, babbling about how good it is to have me back and she's so glad I'm okay and she's so sorry she started this all in the first place.

No nap for me then.

I pat her back. “Lila? Lila, you're squashing me.”

“Oh my god! I'm sorry! I didn't think!” She scrambles off me and bounces on the bed, sitting next to me. I pull myself up. “When did you get back?”

“Er, to Cali or back in this room?”

“Here here.”

“About five minutes ago.”

“And I totally just ambushed you! Oh, gosh.” She shakes her head at herself. “I just wanted to see you before anyone else. I want to apologize for, you know...”

“Its okay, Lila.”

“No, no it's not, okay? It's absolutely not okay. You should know I absolutely kicked Ryan's ass for that shitty stunt they pulled. It's not cool, at all.”

“We did the same thing, Lila. That's why I went away. We didn't really do anything different at all.” I smile sadly.

“Well.” She pauses. “I guess, but I'm still sorry you found out that way.” She purses her lips.

“It's okay. I'm over it.”

“Are you?” She raises her eyebrows.

“Eh. No.” I shake my head. “But I can always pretend, right?”

“Then pretend and come party tomorrow night.”

“Honestly, Lila, let her get through the door!” Megan exclaims and kicks the door shut. I didn't know it was open.

I look up at my blonde friend. “Hey, Megs.”

“I'm so glad you're back.” She hugs me tightly, and I return the gesture. “But don't you dare run away like that again, do you hear me, Maddie Stevens? Don't you freakin' run from me that way! We crapped our pants, actually crapped our pants! I thought you'd been picked by a serial killer or something!”

“The only serial killer I came across was my Dad. He's been known to bash a box or two of cppornflakes in the past.” I grin and she looks at me, hiding her own grin.

“Gah! I'm just glad you're back. Did Lila tell you there's a party tomorrow night?” She sits on Kay's bed.

“Ah... Yeah. I don't think I'm going.” I chew my lip. “I don't think I'm ready to.”

“It's been two weeks. You have to see him at some point,” Lila says softly. “I know you don't want to-”

“You're right, Lila. I don't want to see him. I'm not going. Not yet. I still need some time. I need time to process everything that happened in Brooklyn. At least let me have that.”

“Fine,” she huffs. “But you have to start going back to your English classes. You can't keep skipping because of him.”

I finger a loose thread on my shirt. “I'll go back to English.”

Chapter Forty-Six – Braden

My eyes traveled around the frat house a million times on Saturday night, yet I didn't see her at all. She's here, but she wasn't there. But she's here – in California.

My Maddie is back in California.

And it's taking every ounce of self-restraint I have not to run over to her dorm block like my ass is on fuckin' fire. Because, like Megan said, I'd probably end up pinning her to a wall – and that's never good.

My leg shakes as I sit in English class, and my eyes are traveling the room again. I can't help it. She didn't show before she left. I want her to now. I need to see her.

The door opens, and Aston walks through. He crosses the room and sits next to me. “She's coming.”

I nod once and fix my eyes on the door. If she's coming, then she'll be here-

Now.

She's here. Megan's arm is linked through hers, but Maddie is smiling. It's a weak smile, and I hate myself for that. My hands tighten their grip on the edge of the desk, and I clench my teeth together. Aston kicks me.

Maddie's hair falls down and blocks her face from my view as she sits, not making eye contact with me. In fact, she didn't look anywhere close to me. I can't pretend that shit doesn't hurt, 'cause it damn well does.

I watch her all lesson instead of paying attention. How am I supposed to concentrate on anything but her? All there is, is Maddie. All there is, is everything that could have, would have, and should have been.

When class ends, I push my way through towards her table, catching them as they leave. Aston shakes his head, but I don't care. I have to talk to her.

“Meggy.” I nod at her and look at the person I'm really there for. “Maddie.”

She looks straight ahead, clutching a book to her chest. “Braden,” she says softly.

“How was Brooklyn?”

“It was.... Fine, thank you. How are you?”

“I'm....” I catch the warning look Megan shoots me. “I'm good. I guess.”

She nods slightly. “I've gotta....”

“Sure.” I open the classroom door for them, wanting to rip it off its hinges. “See you later.”

“Yeah, see you,” she whispers and leaves quickly. Megan shoots me an evil glare and points her finger.

“Not what she needed,” she hisses.

“I needed to see her, Meggy.” I meet her eyes, and they soften. “I needed to speak to her. She is.... She's okay, right?”

She sighs, her whole body sagging. “I don't know what you want me to say, Bray. But.... Sure, if it makes you feel better, she's fine.”

“And if it doesn't?” I clench my teeth.

“Then she's still fine.” She turns around and runs after Maddie.

I make a sound of disbelief and anger. Aston grabs the door to stop me slamming it and gives me a look.

So I get a little crazy where Maddie is concerned.

~

I avoid the cafeteria like a plague knowing she'll be in there. It was more painful seeing her than I thought it would be. Instead of going there like I normally would, I head back to the frat house. I dump my backpack on the floor by my desk and drop back onto my bed, my hands clasped behind my head.

I had so many grand plans of how I'd get her to talk to me. I was determined to make her listen, make her believe I love her, but then.... I see her, and all that disappears because I don't wanna talk to her.

I just wanna grab her. I wanna hold her tight and stroke her hair. I want to kiss the corners of her eyes and never let go of her. Because she's mine.

Goddammit, Maddie Stevens is mine. And that's the bottom line. It always will be.

She'll always be mine – and I'll always be hers.

Chapter Forty-Seven – Maddie

Two days after speaking to Braden after English, and I still haven't recovered. Where the crap has my 'bounce-back' mechanism gone? The freakin' springs are probably broken, actually. It's been used so many times, it's probably fed up of bouncing my ass when I fall on it.

This time it's on me. This time, it's on me to pull myself together and get up from the low I seem to have sunk to emotionally.

I also need to magically grow a pair of balls and actually go to the frat house for the books I left there because staring at it sadly from my bedroom window isn't bringing them to me. Seeing Braden – in a classroom I can deal with, but in the frat house? His house? His room?

Could I ever deal with that?

If I went, would I come back even more broken than I am now?

No, no, I'm not broken. I'm strong, just like he said. And I can go over there. I can do it.

I slip my pumps onto my feet and run my fingers through my hair anxiously, shutting the door behind me. My feet seem to echo in the empty hallway as I slowly make my way down the stairs. I shiver despite the warm evening air, and wrap my arms around my body.

I pause on the sidewalk next to the frat house for a second, and the door opens. Kyle.

“Maddie?” He frowns, doing a double-take.

“I, er.... Is Braden there?” I ask softly.

“Yeah, he's in. I thought you-”

“We're not. I just.... I left some books here.” I look down. “I need them back.”

“Oh, sure. Give me a minute, I'll get them.”

I nod and hear the door shut. I bounce uncomfortably, bending my knees and study the cracks in the sidewalk.

It was once perfect, flawless, but now it's cracked and broken. Just like me.

“Maddie?” Braden's voice is hesitant. It's a tone I've never heard before.

“Hi.” I look up and fake a smile. I hide the frantic beat of my heart and shaking of my hands.

“I've got your books.” He steps out and holds them out. I grind my back teeth together and reach out, cursing my shaking hands. “Are you cold?”

“Uh, a little. I think the change in air is making me sick,” I lie. “I should get back.” I tuck the books against my chest and make to move.

“You're okay? Your Dad.... He's okay?”

I wish he didn't care. “Yeah. I'm good. Dad's good,” I smile slightly and make the mistake of meeting his eyes. “What?”

He sighs. “You're lying.”

“Why would I be lying? I'm fine, Braden, just like you are.” The words sound hollow even to my ears. “I needed to get away and now I'm back. I'm fine. I'm sure your life is how it was before both of us started those games-”

“You're wrong.” He slams the door behind him and storms down the steps. I step back.

“Braden-”

“It's not like it was before you, Maddie, not at all. I might be just as lonely and just as pathetic, but it's not the same because there will never be another you. It's not fucking possible.” He stops in front of me and looks down. His hands are clenched tightly in fists at his sides. “You.... It's just you. No one else. Without you, it's all fucking pointless. Without you....” He growls in his throat and touches the side of my head, his fingers sinking into my hair. I swallow the lump in my throat and hold back the tears forming.

“Without me, your life is better,” I choke out and step back, turning and running across the road.

“Without you it's all bullshit, Angel!” he yells after me. “You give it all meaning. You make every day worth it so you're wrong! Before.... Before was before I had you. Now I've had you and I've lost you, and nothing can ever compare to having you, Maddie!”

I shake my head and run faster, leaving him standing there. Tears stream freely down my cheeks, and I hiccup a sob, covering my mouth with my hands. I punch the code into the keypad through blurry eyes and climb the stairs two at a time.

My dorm door opens as I reach it, and Kay holds out her arms. I let the books drop to the floor and collapse into her comforting embrace.

~

“I'm done!” Lila yells, throwing her pen at the wall behind my head. “I'm done!”

“Shut up!” Megan holds a finger up. She mutters to herself and scribbles something down on the book in front of her. “Okay, carry on.”

“So kind,” Lila snaps. She turns her eyes on me. “You! I'm done.”

“Me? What have I done?” I look at Megan. She shrugs.

“You, being a miserable bitch!” Lila exclaims. “I am so done. I'm not taking it anymore. I'm gonna put a goddamn smile on that face even if it's a forced one!”

“I'm fine, Lila.” I turn my attention back to the laptop in front of me. “Really. You don't need to put your fingers in the corners of my mouth and pull it up.”

“You are a liar. And do not tempt me, Maddie Stevens, because so help me, I will do it!” she threatens.

“I have no doubt of that,” I reply dryly. Megan giggles.

“There is a party tomorrow night, at the frat house. You. Are. Going.”

“No. I'm. Not.”

“Oh yes you are.”

“I'm not going, Lila. It’s not about Braden, or even about seeing him. I just don't want to go, okay? I have loads of schoolwork to catch up on from last week. I have to catch up.”

“Bullshit!” Megan cries, her pen flying across the room. “I call bullshit! You've already caught it up. The biggest load you'd have is from English and you already handed that in. Excuses!”

“It's not excuses,” I argue lamely.

“Just because you don't want to see him-” Lila starts.

“I've seen him four times this week and spoken to him twice.” I raise my eyebrows. “I have no issues with seeing Braden Carter.” My jaw is tight.

Lila shakes her head. “You still don't wanna see him.”

I sigh. “I do want to see him.” I look away from them. “But after the 'thing' outside the frat house, I'm scared that when I do see him, I'll jump on him and kiss him instead of kicking him in the balls like I actually want to.” I shrug a shoulder, and Megan giggles.

“Then you have to come because either one could be amusing.”

“You're going to make me go, aren't you?” I look between them.

“Maddie, honey,” Lila begins in a softer tone. “I love you, but it's been three weeks. I'm not letting you mope anymore. You're going.”

That settled that, I guess.

Chapter Forty-Eight – Braden

I grab a beer from the cooler in the kitchen and head into the front room, taking a seat in the corner with Aston and Ryan. Neither say anything. What can they say? We're all expecting Maddie to turn up tonight with the girls. Megan and Lila will drag her along because Lila's fed up with the – and I quote – 'goddamn miserable look on her face all the damn time.'

I guess we're both gonna be forced here tonight because I'd rather be anywhere but here.

I take a mouthful of beer and swallow it heavily, just waiting. I don't know what I'm waiting for.

Maybe I'm waiting for her pretty green eyes to meet mine. Maybe I'm waiting to hear her laugh and see her smile again. Maybe I'm waiting for a moment I can approach her – in a totally non-caveman way – and just.... See her. Without the shouting about how shit my life is without her. I can do without that, and she probably can too.

The house fills up as the guys and I sit in silence. I don't touch the beer again. I have no desire to get drunk tonight. The only desire I have is-

laughing in the kitchen.

Fuck.

That sound - it cuts me to the core.

Ryan is looking at me sympathetically, and Aston isn't even looking at me. I drop my eyes to the floor and twist my untouched beer bottle between my fingers. How can I enjoy this stupid fucking party when the only person who makes it enjoyable is laughing on the other side of the room? It was one thing being here without her and letting it pass me by, but knowing she's here.... Knowing that makes me hypersensitive to her.

She laughs again, and I grit my teeth, turning sharply to look at her. She's standing next to Kyle. His arm is around her shoulders. What the fuck?

Maddie glances up quickly. Her green eyes meet mine for a split second - long enough for me to see the complete sadness there. I might be the reason she's so damn sad, but I'll be fucked if I'm letting that punk comfort my girl. I slam the bottle on the table and cross the room in a few quick strides.

“Excuse me,” I say, even though I don't care.

I take Maddie's arm and pull her away from Kyle, ignoring his cry of protest, and yank her through the room.

“Braden, let go of me!” she cries, trying to loosen my grip on her. “Braden! You're being an asshole!”

“Fuck this!” I stop and grab her waist, hoisting her over my shoulder. She squeaks out a scream and begins to smack me in the back, wriggling and kicking me for all she's worth as I carry her upstairs.

“Let go of me! You're being a caveman again!” she yells.

I shove my bedroom door open, walk through and deposit her inside. Turning, I slam the door shut, pocketing the key.

I turn to her, trying to stay calm. “That's because you're mine, and I'm not watching you laughing with him down there! You don't belong to him, Maddie! You never have and you never fucking will!”

“I. Am. Not. Yours!” she hisses, pointing at me. “I may have belonged to you once, but I don't anymore! Remember that?”

“If that's what you wanna believe, Angel, then you believe it.”

“It's not what I believe! I know it!”

“See those eyes, Maddie?” I cross the room, stop in front of her and look down at her. “They tell me a different story, so why don't we give up the game?”

“The game has been played,” she says acidly. “We both won, Braden, and now it's over.” She sighs. “I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you. Regardless of how either of us feel.... It's over. We are over. I'm not yours anymore. Do you get that? I'm. Not. Yours!”

“But I'm yours!” I grab her face and tilt her head back, making her eyes crash into mine. “I'm yours, Maddie. I always have been, and I always will be. Yours. Do you get that? Do. You. Get. That? I'll always be yours!”

Her lips part slightly, but she says nothing.

“Huh?” I prompt her. “Fight it all you want, Maddie. When it comes to me and you, we'll always belong to each other. Whether you like it or not, I. Am. Yours.”

Chapter Forty-Nine – Maddie

Inside, my body is in overdrive. My heart is pounding, my blood is rushing through my body, and adrenaline is filling every spot possible. I'm so angry – yet I'm so broken and I want him.

Outside, I'm frozen to the spot.

“No,” I say, looking away from him.

“Yes.” His voice is begging me to believe him, to believe he still wants me.

That he loves me.

“We both played the game,” he says softly. “Both of us, Maddie. We both had the same goal, and we both achieved it. Don't you get it yet? I fell in love with you, Angel. I'm still in fucking love with you. What did you think would happen? Did you think I'd just let you walk right on out of my life like you were nothing?”

I nod.

“Shit, Maddie!” He lets go of me and turns, rubbing his face. A tear drips from my eye. “Did you really fucking think that? That I'd let you go from everything to nothing? 'Cause that's what you are. That's what you have been. Everything. You're fucking everything.”

He steps towards me and cups my face again. He pulls my face up until my tear-filled eyes meet his unusually dusky blue ones.

“Maybe this is what I should have said the other day. You know I'm no good with dating. I had to look on Google for where to take you for our second date, for fuck sake.” I smile a little. “I'm no good at this, Maddie. I've messed up big time and it probably won't be the last. Maybe shouting at you about how crap my life is without you wasn't my smartest move, but damn it.... I'm so lost without you around. I can't let this go, Maddie, and I'm not going to. You can run all you like, but I'll catch up with you every time, and when I do I'm gonna try and prove to you how right we are together.”

A tear drops from my eye, and he dips his head, kissing it away. He rests the side of his forehead against mine.

“I love you, Angel. I can't stand there and watch you with Kyle acting like everything is all right, 'cause it ain't. The only way it can be all right is if you're by my side. In some fucked up way, me and you, we're perfect for each other.”

I half-laugh, half-sob. “I don't care about Kyle. Not like that. He knows that.”

Tears spill from my eyes and Braden pulls me close. My arms wrap around his waist and my face presses into his hard chest.

“I love you,” I whisper through my tears. “But I'm scared, Bray, I'm scared everything I think I know about us is wrong. I'm scared that maybe it's always gonna go wrong.”

“I'm not Pearce,” he says into my ear. “I'm not him. I'm never gonna hurt you, control you or lie to you. Anymore,” he adds about the lying.

“We both did that. We both lied. We were both wrong,” I admit sadly.

“It brought you to me, Maddie. Something that does that can never be wrong.”

I look up at him, and he brushes his lips against mine. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him a little harder.

“Mine, Maddie.” His blue eyes are clearing, the electric blue I know so well returning. “You will always be mine.” He wipes the tears from my cheeks softly.

“Yours,” I agree with no other choice. I can't ever see another choice. My hands move and I grip his collar pulling his face to mine. I graze his bottom lip between my teeth. “But that means you're mine.”

“Are you going cavewoman on me?” He smirks slowly.

I smile, the first genuine smile since I saw my Dad. “Me, Maddie. Braden, mine.” I kiss him again.

His arms circle my back, and we move sideways towards the bed. I spin us and push him back onto the mattress. I fall on top of him and straddle him, my dress rising up my thighs. Braden's hands stroke my thighs, his thumbs probing the insides of them.

I sink my fingers into his hair and hold on tightly, kissing him for all it's worth.

My past doesn't matter. It may always haunt me, and I know it'll always be in my mind and my heart, but I can't let it control me anymore. If I let it control me, it'll control my relationship.

We might not be forever. Our first love might not be our last. I can't predict where we'll be five, ten, even fifteen years from now, but I can't let my past rule my future. My past has shaped me into the person I am today, and knowing that means I can let go of all of my doubts and hold onto what I have. I can let go of my thoughts of my brother and hold onto Braden as tight as he'll let me.

Because, sometimes, letting go is the key to holding on.

THE END.

About the Author:

By day, Emma Hart dons a cape and calls herself Super Mum to a terrible two year old and growing bump, due September 2013. By night, she drops the cape, pours a glass of juice, and writes books.

She likes to write about magic, kisses and whatever else she can fit into the story. Sarcastic, witty characters are a must. As are hot guys. Emma is currently working too many books to even count. She likes to be busy - unless busy involves doing the dishes, but that seems to when all the ideas come to life.

You can find Emma online at:

Blog: emmahart93.blogspot.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/YAAuthorEmmaHart

Twitter: @EmmaHartAuthor

Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/EmmaHart

To my Hero: a novel by Danielle Sibarium

Coming April 21st 2013

It would’ve been different if I had courage, even an ounce of it. But I was a coward from the day I met you, Ryan Crowley. I still am. In the end it doesn’t matter. The bottom line is the same. It’s my fault.

When the unthinkable happens Carly Cavanough is left beaten, betrayed, and devastated. Her best friend doesn’t understand. Her parents won’t listen. Everyone in her life turns against her. She’s alone. Completely alone, except for Ryan Crowley, the boy she’s been crushing on for years. She won’t admit to him what she can’t admit to herself. But he understands without words.  He knows more about what she’s going through than she can possibly imagine and he knows what it will take to start the healing.

With Ryan’s help Carly begins to piece together the fragments of her once perfect life and embarks on a journey of love and healing, just long enough for the rug to be pulled out from under her again.  Can she find the strength and will to pull herself together to save Ryan and herself from the unthinkable?