Jettie Woodruff

Copyright © 2014 by Jettie Woodruff

Published by Jettie Woodruff

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locations are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used fictitiously. All characters, dead or alive, are a figment of the author’s imagination, and all incidents and dialogue are drawn from the author’s mind and are not to be interpreted as real.

Dedication & Acknowledgements

This book is dedicated to everyone behind the scenes. I’m going to try my best not to leave anyone out, but if I do, know that I appreciate you all the same.

To Julie Kerr for all your hard work and critiquing for me.

To Soraya Naomi for not killing me during the editing process.

For all my girls who make me smile on a daily basis and pimp me to their friends and blogs: Megan Galt, Amy Bull, Lisa Kane, Rebecca Marie, Allyson Sinclair, Rachael Orman, Mary The Bomb Beth, Danielle Chakon, Jennifer Hagen, Erin Mcfarland, Amanda Littlefield, Aleatha Romig, Vikki Ryan, Natalie Townson, Alicia Taylor, Sue Ward, Crystal Barr, Cherra Wammock, Barbara Jo Johnson, and for all of the bloggers that support me. I’m sure I am missing someone, but I could write a book with just names of people who have helped me during this journey.

To all my dirty girls. Thanks, you girlies rock.

Jettie Woodruff

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Epilogue

Chapter 1

“Daddy’s coming. See daddy?” I asked, bouncing Nicholas in my arms. I couldn’t believe he was six months old already. He was such a little man, sporting his own little personality, and his daddy was part of that personality. He kicked his legs and arms excitedly as soon as he saw Drew enter the door. He was even more excited on days like this, when Drew had been gone for three days. Mommy was pretty excited to see him too.

“Marta,” I called. “Take him upstairs.”

“Morgan, please come upstairs. Wait until he calms down,” Marta begged, taking Nicholas from me.

“I’m fine. Just go upstairs with Nicky, please.”

My excitement quickly turned into dread. I crossed my arms and watched as Drew screamed and yelled at Celeste. Celeste, unlike me, gave it right back. I mean I did sometimes, I guess, but not when he was like this. It was best I calmly let him rant until it was over.

“Where’s Nicholas?” Drew yelled, slamming the door behind him.

He’s not mad at you, Morgan. It’s work. He’s just stressed.

“Marta just took him up for a nap. He was getting fussy. I missed you.” I tried appeasing him by wrapping my arms around his neck.

He moved them. “Did you cut your hair?”

“A little. Do you like it?”

“No, why didn’t you ask me first?”

“Drew. Stop. You’re just trying to start a fight.”

“I’m trying to start a fight because I think my wife should ask before going off and cutting her hair?”

“It’s not even an inch for Christ’s sake. Do you ask me permission before you get a haircut? You’re being ridiculous.”

“I don’t tell you what I am doing because I don’t need to. You do not, nor will you ever, wear the pants in this family. You got that, Morgan?” Drew yelled, slamming me against the closed door. I held his stare until he grabbed my hair, waiting for an answer.

“Yes, Drew.”

“Go!” he ordered, nodding towards his office.

This was not how I’d planned his homecoming. I knew where I was going, and I knew why. This wasn’t my first rodeo, and I was sure it wouldn’t be my last. I could have protested and made it worse. I didn’t do that; it was easier this way.

“You do this shit because you want me to punish you, don’t you, Morgan?” Drew asked, closing the door and locking it. He didn’t need to lock the door. He knew no one would come in. He did it as form of manipulation, like a threat. I didn’t care if the door was locked. He was going to do what he did regardless of the door being locked.

I didn’t answer. I only stood there with my arms crossed, fighting my own demons. Part of me was already aroused and the other part wanted to be defiant, tell him where to go and show him I didn’t have to listen to him.

“Answer me!” he yelled just as I caught the back of his knuckles with my cheekbone. Drew slammed me to his desk and rubbed my ass. “You always do this. You always have to go and fucking defy me. I think you like this, Morgan. I think you love it when I bend you over this desk and spank you like a bad little girl. You like it. That’s why you do it, isn’t it, Morgan?”

“Yes, Drew,” I answered, closing my eyes, breathing quick erratic breaths as he unbuttoned my shorts.

“That’s why your pussy is so wet. Can you feel how wet your pussy is? Your pussy is so fucking wet, Morgan,” he whispered to the back of my hair as he slid my shorts down my hips. I stepped out of them and gasped from the contact of his flat hand against my ass. I moaned when he rubbed the sting out and dipped his middle finger inside me before the second blow.

The dull pain that I’d felt just below my right eye was replaced with pleasure between my legs. I was wet. I don’t know why. I don’t know why I would be turned on by this. This was sick, repulsive, and twisted. Would things always be this way? Could Maranda fix us? I doubted it. She probably wouldn’t even be around after this week. That’s what Drew did. As soon as our new therapist wanted to dig deeper into his past, he fired them. I couldn’t see Maranda getting any further with him than the last four had.

I took five stinging blows to my bare ass before Drew released himself deep inside me. The friction of him, sliding in and out of me was amazing. I wanted to come in three seconds. Drew hissed, pulling my hips towards his, thrashing in and out of me.

“Can you reach the drawer?” he murmured. I leaned forward, opened the desk drawer, and handed the bottle and a condom back to him.

“Ahhh fuck, baby,” he moaned, sliding into my ass. I moaned too when he reached around to massage my pulsating clitoris. “You want come, don’t you, baby?”

“Oh god, yes. Hmmm, right there, Drew,” I moaned, dropping my head, spiraling out of control at the twisted hands of my husband.

“Turn around,” Drew rasped in a husky tone, the husky tone that drove me crazy.

Falling to my knees, I waited for the condom to come off and parted my lips. Drew moaned, coating my lips with his come. “Hmmm fuck, Morgan. Yeah, baby, swallow me. Hmmm, that’s it,” he hissed, sliding to the back of my throat.

Sucking him clean, I looked up to his half smile and sad eyes. Sometimes I wished he’d just talk to me; tell me what was on his mind. He wouldn’t. I’d tried too many times, always getting the same response. It was his job to take care of me and Nicky, and I didn’t need to worry about him.

“Drew, don’t. I’m fine,” I said, looking up as Drew brushed the palm of his thumb across my bruising cheek.

“Goddamnit, Morgan. Come here.”

I stood, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulled me close, burying his face in my hair.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I’m fine. Stop. Let’s go see your son. We were standing at the window waiting when you came home.”

“I thought you said he was napping.”

Shit. I hated it when I made him feel guilty. It never helped a thing.  It always made it worse. I turned away from him without answering, retrieved my clothes, and dressed while he stared at me.

“You sent him upstairs when you saw me arguing with Celeste, didn’t you?”

“You weren’t arguing with Celeste. You need to call and apologize to her.”

Drew sat on the brown leather sofa and disgustedly ran his fingers through his hair. I placed my hand over his and begged him to let it go. It’s what I did. I don’t want to make it sound like this was normal, or our routine or anything. It wasn’t. Most of the time Drew came home happy, missing me and Nicky. The times that Drew lost money on a sale, or when business was down, or something happened at work that upset him were the times things ended like this.

Whatever. It was over. He’d be sorry and be the best husband and father a woman could ask for—until the next time anyway.

“Go see Nicky. I’ll be up in a minute.”

I jumped when Drew stood and put his fist through the wall, literally through the wall. “You’ll be up in a minute because you need to go get ice, right?”

“Drew. Damn it. Will you stop? Let it go. Please,” I begged, exasperated. This was the worst part of his temper. I would rather deal with the temper than the guilt that followed it.

“I’m sorry, Morgan. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not mad at you. I’m fine. I forgive you. It’s Friday, you have two days of no work, just me and your spoiled little boy.”

“He is not spoiled.”

I breathed a sigh of relief at the smile on his face. “He is so spoiled. He thinks you have to be with him every second. As soon as I walk out of the room, he screams.”

“He just doesn’t want you to leave him. I don’t want you to leave me either,” Drew sadly spoke, kissing my bruised cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise me?”

“I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”

Drew went up to see Nicholas, and I walked to the kitchen for an icepack. I could already feel it swelling and could see the puffiness below my eye.

“Don’t Marta. It’s none of your business,” I said, turning to see the look on Marta’s face; it was telling me how stupid I was. Maybe I was. I don’t know, regardless it was none of her business.

“I’m not saying a word. I don’t need to. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

“You do know that Drew hears everything you say. He can rewind every camera in this house,” I warned.

Marta shrugged her shoulders and took the icepack from me. “Is he going to fire me for sticking up for you? Telling you how you deserve better? Is that what you’re afraid of?” she asked, placing the blue gel over my eye.

“Marta, please don’t do this. This has nothing to do with you.”

“This is the second time this month, Morgan. That’s two too many for me. I’m not sure I can sit around here and watch this escalate. Is this how you want Nicholas to see you?”

“Marta. You’re out of line. It’s none of your business.”

Marta nodded, smiled a weak smile, and turned to prepare our dinner. I walked away. Was she right? Did I really want my baby to see this? Walking into the bathroom, I shook my head at my reflection. I had a black eye—again. Marta was right. This was twice in one month. Was it always going to be this way? No, no it wouldn’t. We were going to counseling. We’d get through this. We had to.

I wondered what Celeste and Alicia thought the next day when I declined a shopping excursion and lunch. Did they know? I had a pretty good hunch they did. I hung out upstairs with Nicholas most of the morning. Drew was quiet and worked in his office most of the morning. It wasn’t unusual for him to do that after an incident. He buried himself in his work, trying to hide behind distraction.

After laying Nicholas down for a nap, I went to Drew. I hated this. I hated the tension and the wall he placed between us. Opening the door, I walked around his desk without so much of a glance. I took the papers, saturated in graphs from his hands, and moved in front of him.

Drew wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head in my lap. “Let’s go to the beach house next week,” he suggested without looking up.

“Okay.”

Drew stood, crushing my mouth with his. I know it’s really messed up, but making love to Drew after one of his episodes brought us closer. The emotions, the feelings, and sensations shared between us were surreal. I don’t know how else to explain that. We became one.

Drew unbuttoned my shirt, kissed my bare shoulder, and slid the strap of my bra down my arm, exposing my breasts. He cupped them both, kissing and sucking his way down my chest, to my nipples and to my stomach.

“Lay back, baby,” he whispered.

Raising my hips, I let him slide me out of my pants. “You’re so fucking perfect, Morgan,” he said in a quiet lecture type voice, studying me with his eyes and caressing me with his hands. Letting my head drop over the desk, he wrapped his hand around my throat and slowly slid it down my trembling body.

“I love you,” he whispered, dropping to his chair. I couldn’t even say it back. I was having a hard enough time trying to remind myself to breathe. Knowing that his over qualified tongue was moments from my throbbing sex, I dropped my knee, opening myself for him.

Drew spread me more and ran his fingers up my wet folds. I shuttered and moaned, wanting more. Feeling myself being spread with his fingers, he held me open and sucked lightly on my throbbing nub. Drew sucked and licked while his finger violated my ass, moving in and out.

Just when I was right there, standing on edge, ready to topple over, he stopped. Ugh. I hated when he did that. I only hated it for a second. I forgot all about it when he stood and slid his rock hard cock into my throbbing pussy, and he began circling my clit with his thumb. I came so hard, I felt like I was falling. My walls constricted over and over around him as my world felt faint. Pumping faster and harder, Drew fell with me, dropping his body to mine.

“Tell me you love me, Morgan.”

“I love you, Drew,” I panted, coming down from a glorious high.

“Tell me I don’t deserve you, but you love me so much, you’re always going to be here.”

“Drew—”

“Say it, Morgan. I need to hear you say it,” Drew begged desperately.

“You don’t deserve me, but I love you so much. I’m never going to leave you, Drew.”

“Promise me.”

“Drew. I promise.”

I remember that day like it was yesterday. There was so much desperation in his voice. Drew rarely showed emotion. He did that day. He showed more emotion than I’d ever seen from him. The despairing hold he had on me, the worry in his eyes, and the frightened tone scared me. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to say. Was he telling me that things would get worse? Was that why he needed me to promise him?

I could handle Drew, this Drew anyway. The amazing times we had together as a family outweighed the bad by tons. I don’t expect anyone to understand that. Any other normal female would have left a long time ago.

Drew never hit me once during my pregnancy. He never touched me until Nicholas was three months old. Alicia and I put together a little birthday party for Celeste, inviting a hand full of people. I got a little drunk that night and acted like a fool with Alicia. Celeste was laughing. Drew was not. It wasn’t like we were doing it while the other guests were there. It was only us four. Alicia changed the station to some hip-hop with a deep base beat.

We grinded into each other to deep thump, thump, thump. Alicia could move.  I was impressed and laughed at her popping her hips. Thrusting the air while she tromped her feet, she held my hips, teaching me her trendy dance moves.

“Don’t be mad at me,” I whispered to Drew after the song. I could tell he was upset, but not that upset. He removed my arms from around his neck and gave me a look. Whatever. He was standing right there. It wasn’t like I was grinding all over some guy. It was Alicia for Christ sake. Well, hell. I wouldn’t be getting any tonight, and boy did I ever need it.

“What is your problem?” I asked Drew, sliding out of my heels. Ah, my toes loved me. I wasn’t even expecting it. I’d bent over rubbing my aching feet when I caught the blunt of Drew’s knuckles. I was stunned. I truly believed Drew would never hit me again. It had been so long, I rarely even thought about it.

“You like rubbing your pussy all over Alicia?” he asked, pulling me up by my hair.

“Drew, are you serious? We were just messing around. You were right there.”

“Shut up, Morgan. Don’t you fucking speak a word.”

I didn’t say another word. I was seeing the Drew that I hadn’t seen since before my accident; the Drew that terrified me. All I could think about was Nicholas. I was afraid he’d hurt me, like really hurt me, and I wouldn’t be there for him. What if he hit me hard enough to cause my brain to bleed again? What if I didn’t know my own son? I panicked, taking a step back. The tears fell on their own. I tried to hold them back. I didn’t want him to see me weak and crying.

“Do you see me, Drew? I’m right fucking here. Do you not see me?”

“, Morgan. Come here. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.” Thank god, he was back.

I cried in his chest as he stroked my back and kissed my head, apologizing over and over. Drew held me in his arms the entire night. I’m pretty sure he didn’t sleep at all. Every time I moved, he pulled me tighter, kissed my hair and whispered, “I love you.” He truly was sorry, and I forgave him.

The following morning he made amazing slow, love to me, and I forgave him—again.

Chapter 2

“Drew, this is ridiculous. You can’t just keep changing therapist just because they want you to say something about who you are. You never want to talk about yourself.”

“That’s because there’s nothing wrong with me in general. It’s us together that you—not me— think needs fixing. I think things are fine between us. I love you, and I love you,” Drew said, kissing the freshly bathed baby Nicky on his naked belly. He cooed and grabbed Drew’s bottom lip.

“You hit me, Drew.”

“Morgan, I told you I was sorry. Have I done it again? I told you, I wouldn’t let it happen again, didn’t I?”

“What if it does?”

“Then we’ll do the counseling thing.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise, now go take your clothes off so I can play with your pussy.”

“DREW! You can’t say stuff like that in front of Nicky.”

“Trust me. He has no idea what I just said and stop calling him Nicky. He can’t take over the business with a pussy name like that.”

“Will you stop saying that in front of him? Give him to me. I want to rock him to sleep.”

“I want to rock him to sleep.”

“You did it at nap time.”

“Yeah, but I have to leave tomorrow for two days.”

“I don’t want you to leave, Drew. I like you being here with us at night. I hate sleeping alone.”

“You’re never alone. I’m always with you when you sleep. All I have to do is turn my computer on and I see you sleeping. I watch you sleeping every night I’m away from you. And you,” Drew said, kissing Nicholas’ pajama covered belly.

“It’s not the same, and I can’t just flip on the computer and see you.”

“Yes, you can. You do it every night with Skype.”

“That’s different. I can’t just turn it on and see you like you can.”

“Is that what you want? You want me to set up a camera wherever I am? That way you can see me?”

I smiled a pouty smile. “No. It’s not about the cameras,” I admitted.

“I know, the point is you don’t want me to leave you. Did you see that big black hair coming out the side of that woman’s face today? Gross. And you wanted me to tell her personal things about us,” Drew said, diverting the question away from the seriousness and on the therapist we’d seen earlier.

I laughed.

“Come on, let’s go put this little guy to bed.”

“And then you’ll take your clothes off?”

“As long as you quit saying that dirty word in front of my son.”

“Pussy is not a dirty word.”

“Yes, it is. Stop saying it.”

Drew lifted Nicholas to the air, facing him. He needed to see him for this serious conversation. “Pussy is not a dirty word. Pussy is amazing. Stay away from it. It’s an awful addiction.”

“I’m warning you.”

“Come here, Mommy,” Drew teased, pulling me on his lap. I took Nicholas and snuggled in Drew’s chest while we both cuddled our son. Drew rocked us and I hummed, watching our baby’s eyes get heavier and heavier and then close with a deep relaxing breath.

“You do that when you fall asleep,” Drew whispered.

“I do?”

“Yes. I love it. It makes me feel good, knowing you’re relaxed.”

“I’m relaxed right now.”

“Me too. I could die right now, and I’d die a happy man.”

“Don’t die right now.”

“Why?”

“You promised to play with my…..pussy,” I whispered in his ear.

***

Things were awesome once again, and I was more in love with my family than I’d ever thought possible. Drew kept his promise and never hit me again, not until three weeks later anyway. He wasn’t even mad at me. I knew he wasn’t. He’d just lost a big deal to a competitor. I was just the one he took it out on.

“Morgan, I told you I was sorry. Don’t do this. I hate talking to those flakes. They don’t know how to help us anymore than I do.”

“You promised, Drew. You might like this girl. Celeste and Alicia saw her for a year after they had Vince.”

Drew rolled his eyes. “Celeste and Alicia have a same sex relationship. What the heck is a lesbian shrink going to know about marital problems?”

“Who said she was gay? I don’t even know that. We’re going. You promised.”

“Fine, but I’m not agreeing that I will keep going. If I don’t like her, I’m finding someone else. How old is she?”

“I don’t know. What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Well, you said girl. Girl means young.”

“Do you think Celeste is young?”

“Is she Celeste’s age?”

“Yes. Celeste said she was probably close to the same age.”

“Then yes, I think she’s too young.”

“That’s hypocritical.”

“No it’s not. I don’t think Celeste is young for her field. She’s thirty. She can run a business, but I wouldn’t hire her to be my shrink.”

“Turn right here. I’m not even going to comment on that because it’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Why’s that stupid? Even if Celeste was a fairy for fucked up married couples, I wouldn’t hire her.”

“Park over there. This is never going to work if you don’t take it serious. We may as well just go back home.”

“I’m sorry. No more fairy jokes. Promise.”

“Please give her chance, Drew.”

“I will, but this place looks like they do pro-bono or something. You sure this chick is legit?”

“Celeste recommended her.”

“Why?”

“She says she’s good.” I shrugged.

“What does that mean?”

We both found out what it meant when we were showed to Deidra Wellington’s office. She was a pretty girl, my height, close to my weight with shorter hair. I knew what Drew was thinking when he saw her butch haircut.

“Have a seat.” She gestured towards a gray sofa. She didn’t look like a professional at all. She wore a pink golf shirt and jeans. The other four counselors we’d seen dressed to impress, kind of like Drew did. Deidra wasn’t trying to impress anyone. Her persona made that clear right off the bat.

“I’m Deidra,” she said, offering us her hand. She sat across from us and crossed her legs.

“Don’t you need your laptop or pad and paper for notes?” Drew asked.

“Not on this visit. I thought we’d spend a little time getting acquainted today.”

“What do you want to know? You know our names, you know from the questionnaire that we’ve been married for ten years. We have a son. Aren’t you supposed to ask the questions?”

“Let’s get something straight right immediately, Drew.”

“Mr. Kelley.”

“Drew. Stop it,” I chastised.

Deidra stood and opened her door. “I’m afraid this is not the best idea, Drew. Maybe you should find someone that can suck up to you. I won’t be doing that in this office.”

“Let’s go, Morgan.” Drew ordered, taking my arm and standing.

“No. Drew. We’re not leaving. You do this every time just so you don’t have to talk to anyone. What do you want?”

“Morgan, I am not talking to someone like this. Either we work with a professional, or we don’t do this at all.”

Crossing my arms, I plopped back to the sofa. I wasn’t moving. He wasn’t doing this again. Besides, I liked her.

Drew looked at me and then back to Deidra. She smiled and closed the door when Drew sat, crossed his ankle over his leg, and breathed an exasperated breath.

“Okay, shall we begin?”

The first meeting with Deidra lasted an hour. We mostly discussed our routine. What we did on a daily basis; Drew’s job—what he did for a living—and what we did for fun.

“I liked her,” I admitted as Drew backed out of the cramped parking lot.

“I didn’t. Find someone else.”

“No, we’re seeing Deidra Wellington. You’re just mad because she didn’t bow down and kiss your shoes.”

“I’m paying her.”

“I’ll pay her. We’re not finding another therapist, Drew.”

“Morgan, why do we need to do this anyway? We’re fine.”

“Are we?”

“What does that mean?”

“Fine, let’s quit. Let’s just keep on going in the direction that we’re heading and see where it takes us.”

I knew I’d won. Drew audibly took a deep breath through his nose and reached for my hand. Kissing the back of my hand, he gave me that look of defeat, handing over my victory.

***

“What did you think? Isn’t she great?” Celeste asked, taking a break from numbers and my husband. She took Nicky from my arms and kissed his chubby little cheeks.

“I loved her. Drew, not so much. She put him in his place the first five minutes we were there. He wanted to leave right that second.”

“Yeah, she did the same thing with me. She actually stood up and told us we could leave.”

I laughed. “She did that to us too. I should be surprised, but I’m not. You’re a lot like my husband.”

“If you ever say that again, I’ll hire a hit man and have you knocked off.”

“She’s right,” Alicia agreed, taking my baby from Celeste. “You’re a female version of Drew Kelley.”

“I am not. We’re nothing alike,” Celeste argued.

“Okay, whatever,” I teased, placing my hand over Alicia’s very pregnant belly. “I can’t wait for this little girl to get here. I am going to spoil her rotten. Isn’t that right, Nicky boy?”

“Stop calling my son Nicky,” Drew ordered, taking him from Alicia. “I can’t wait for this little girl either, maybe you’ll stop treating my boy like a girl.”

“Are we going to eat or what? I’m starving,” Alicia whined.

“You’re always starving,” Celeste joked.

“And horny.” Alicia laughed. I freaking loved that girl.

“Oh, my god, Alicia. Shut the hell up,” Celeste spouted.

I laughed again. “She’s pregnant. That’s the best sex ever. Your hormones are on crazy overload.”

“Are you taking Nicky or can I take him for his bath?” Marta interrupted.

“Stop calling him Nicky.” Drew demanded, sending the rest of us into a laughing frenzy.

***

The following Thursday I had to drag Drew to our appointment with Deidra. He whined all morning about having too much work to do. Thank god for Celeste backing me up. She made sure he knew she was perfectly capable of handling the conference call with the investors up north. He knew that fact. He was trying to evade the meeting that I wasn’t about to let him out of.

Deidra started with me. I was a little surprised at where she wanted to go. None of the other therapist had done this.

“Where you always wealthy?” she asked me first.

I looked over to Drew.

“Is this really necessary?” he asked.

Deidra sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “That’s up to you guys. I guess if you just want to work on the symptoms rather than the cause we can do that. What did you have for dinner last night?” she sarcastically asked, brushing nothing from her knee.

“Let’s go, Morgan,” Drew tried again.

“I was not raised with any money,” I began.

“Where you born around here?” Deidra continued.

“No. I was born in a welfare town in West Virginia.”

We spent the entire hour talking about me. Deidra had me start with my first memory.

“I guess I was around three. I remember being with my Grandma Joyce. She kept me a lot when I was little.”

“What did your parents do?”

“Well, my mother worked at a truck stop, waiting tables, and my dad, he was the town drunk.” There was no other way to describe my dad. That’s what he did. I didn’t remember him ever working.

“He’s not her father,” Drew interrupted.

“We’ll get to that later. Continue,” Deidra coaxed.

I told her about the cold winters in the trailer, the neglect from both my parents, and the arrival of a new baby when I was twelve. I grew up fast when Justin was born. I was Justin’s mother. I was the one that took care of him. I don’t know what the logic behind all this was. Talking about Justin, and the way we lived put me in a place I hadn’t let myself go for a long time. Five short years, that’s it. Five years before he was ripped from my arms and my life. It wasn’t fair. I couldn’t hear his laugh anymore.

“You had no right. He didn’t belong to you to give away. He was mine,” I screamed at Drew. I cried, really cried, pushing Drew away. I didn’t know where this was coming from. I didn’t let myself think about Justin. I couldn’t, it hurt too much. Why would she think this would help anything? I didn’t want her to be our therapist anymore either.

“Are you even serious right now?” Drew angrily asked Deidra. “You think this is helping? You think opening up old wounds is going to help anything?”

Deidra removed her dark framed glasses from her face and sat up. Resting her elbows on her knees she spoke to Drew and not me.

“I think this is a small piece to a very big puzzle. Morgan is displaying the symptom, right here in front of your eyes. What’s the cause, Drew? Tell me what’s going on here.”

Drew looked to me and then back to her with a look of realization. “I’m the cause. You resent me for taking Justin from you. You’ve never let that go, have you, Morgan?” he asked.

I didn’t reply. He was right. Deidra was right. I hated him and still carried a lot of animosity over my little brother.

“How do I fix it, Morgan? I don’t know what to do.”

“There may be nothing that you can do, Drew. The only thing that may need to be done is acknowledging that you were the cause of Morgan never seeing her brother again. Maybe she just needs you to admit that you were wrong, that you’re sorry, and you’d do anything in your power to take it back,” Deidra explained.

“I would, Morgan. I’d change it in a heartbeat if I could. You know that, right?” Drew desperately confessed, taking my hand.

I let him and wiped falling tears with the back of my other hand.

“I think that’s enough for one day. Let’s continue here next week,” Deidra suggested, sensing I’d had enough.

I had. I didn’t want to do this anymore either. She wasn’t like the rest of them. She wasn’t going to let us talk about our marriage in the now, covering up the past. She was going to pull out every painful event we’d been through. I was sure of it.

Chapter 3

“I don’t want to leave you,” Drew confessed, sitting on the toilet while Nicky kicked his little legs, splashing in the bath water. He loved bath time and was so darn cute, balling his little fist excitedly while his feet and legs danced in the warm water.

“I’m fine, Drew. You can go. You’re only going for two days.”

“I’m afraid, Morgan. What if you’re not okay?”

I wanted to walk to him, fall into his arms, let him know that I loved him, and we’d make it through this. I didn’t dare leave Nicky though, not for a second. He was rolling all over the place now.

Laying on the bed, playing with Nicholas, Drew stared at me. I knew he needed something. I just didn’t know what it was he needed or how to give it to him. I forgave him for taking Justin from me. I didn’t know what else to say.

“Take me to bed, Daddy,” I said, talking for Nicky who was rubbing his sleepy eyes.

Drew picked him up and carried him to his room. I soaked in a tub of erotic smelling bubbles, contemplating our session with Deidra that day. Afraid of where we were going to end up, I knew things were going to get deeper. Had I known how much deeper, I may have let Drew fire her that day.

Drew was barely rocking, patting Nicky on his diapered butt when he rocked back. I stood quietly at the door, watching him with his son. There was nothing Drew could do that was any sexier. I loved seeing him rock Nicky. It warmed my blood and melted my heart.

“He’s asleep,” I announced quietly.

“I know. I just never want to lose him. I love him so much, Morgan.”

I tussled his hair and smiled a weak smile down at him. Taking the baby, I knew where he was going with this, what he was thinking. I was right and as soon as Drew showered and crawled in beside me he started.

“Morgan?”

“Hmm?” I mumbled in his chest.

“I never thought about how that made you feel. I never thought about it until today. I can’t imagine someone taking Nicholas from me now. I can’t conceive of never seeing him again.”

I looked up to him, deciding not to let it blow over, tell him it was fine, let him off the hook. I needed to stop enabling him. “You can’t imagine that, Drew. Did you know that I was the one to take care of him from the day he came home from the hospital? I woke with him at two o’clock in the morning to feed him, I changed him using the cloth diapers that I washed by hand myself.”

“Where were your parents?”

I shrugged and rolled to my back, staring up at the ceiling. “Probably at the bar. I don’t know. They never told me where they were going. They just left me to tend to him.”

“Where was your grandmother? You said she took care of you.”

“She lived up the lane, but she wasn’t well. She couldn’t take care of a baby, and my dad forbade me to take him there.”

“He’s not your dad. Stop calling him that. Why didn’t you tell a teacher, a principle, anyone? Why didn’t you stand up for yourself and get yourself and Justin out of that environment?”

“I was twelve, Drew. Where do you think I would have gone? I was a statistic, just like everyone else that lived there.”

“Would you change it, Morgan? Would you give all this up and go back to that day if you could?”

“It’s not always about money, Drew. Yes. I would give it up in heartbeat to have Justin in my life, to have never watched him scream for me while he was being ripped out of my arms.”

“I can’t imagine that, Morgan. I’m so sorry.”

I had told Drew I’d forgiven him for the choice of taking Justin from me, but I hadn’t, not until that night anyway. Drew and I talked about my childhood, my mother, the lack of food, heat, and clothing, all of it. For the first time ever, Drew wanted to know these things. He asked many questions, apologized a million times for the life I was forced to be born in, and held me close while I cried for my little brother. I didn’t want to stop thinking about Justin. I loved him and never wanted to lose that.

Drew made slow, obsessive love to me, knowing I needed to be close to him, close to something permanent in my life. I think he needed the same thing, and once again we melted together, both needing to belong.

***

“What are you doing for the next couple days?” Drew asked at breakfast.

“Changing my shirt,” I laughed as Nicholas sputtered orange baby food from his mouth. He was so happy in the mornings.

“After that?”

“I’m going to the doctor with Alicia, probably get some lunch, maybe get our nails done. Why?”

“Curious. Are you taking little man?”

“No, he’s staying with Ms. Marta,” I inform Drew, then face Nicky. “Aren’t you, Nicky?”

“That’s it. I’m changing his name.”

“Maybe when Alicia has her baby I’ll stop,” I lied. I liked calling him Nicky.

“What’s she naming her?”

“She’s got a couple picked out: Daisy—which Celeste hates—and Trinity.”

“I hate them both.”

“Yeah, Celeste isn’t crazy about them either. She wants to call her Gabriella.”

“I like that. That’s much better. I could do business with a Gabriella better than a Daisy. She’ll never be taken seriously.”

“That’s stupid. Maybe she won’t grow up to be in ‘the business,’ maybe she’ll be an artist like Alicia.”

“I doubt that, not if Celeste has anything to do with it. You should hear Vincent’s role play closing techniques with her. He’s a spitting image of her.”

I rolled my eyes. I was like Alicia in that department; you don’t role play closing techniques with an eight-year-old. I’d save that conversation for Alicia. Drew and I would never agree on that. He’d be doing the same thing with Nicholas, I was sure.

“Drew, let’s go,” Celeste announced, pointing her arm towards the door. She was worse than Drew when it came to work.

I stood and kissed his soft lips.

“I love you,” he whispered hot words to my mouth.

“I love you too. I’ll talk to you later. Hurry home to me.”

“I will,” he replied, kissing my forehead and turning his attention to noisy, babbling Nicky. “I love you too, little man. Daddy will see you later on the computer, okay?”

“Drew!”

“I’m coming,” he yelled at Celeste, kissed me one more time and disappeared.

“It’s just you and me again, buddy,” I said, shoving more food into Nicky’s mouth for him to spit it back out. I hated Drew traveling all the time. Why couldn’t we have one or two stores? Why did we need twenty four strung about the country? I think that’s what we were up to anyway, I didn’t pay much attention.

***

“Spend the night. I don’t want to be home alone,” I begged Alicia once we were back from our errands for the day.

“Okay,” she agreed. I knew she would. She hated being home without Celeste too, and Vincent loved our house, well, the pool, I should say.

Marta, Alicia, and I made more food than we’d ever eat. It was mostly Alicia’s fault. She was the one eating for two. You would have thought she was eating for ten. We ate out by the pool and then watched a movie with Vincent. Alicia and I traded kids for the evening while Marta cleaned up. I helped Vincent with his spelling words, and she bathed Nicky.

“He’s down,” Alicia whispered, closing the door behind her. I placed a finger in the air, letting her know I was on the phone when she entered my room.

“She is not sleeping in my bed,” Drew demanded.

“Yes, she is. She always sleeps with me when she stays here.”

“I know and I don’t like it.”

“You never minded before.”

“That’s because you never rubbed your pussy all over her before.”

“Oh, my god, Drew. You’re ridiculous. Alicia, you can sleep in the same bed, but I’m not allowed to rub my pussy on you. Drew’s afraid I’m going to cheat on him with you in my bed.”

“Drew has the whole place guarded like Fort Knox. Tell him if we do, he’ll be able to watch.”

“I’m going to beat your ass when I get home,” he threatened.

I laughed. “Okay, you can do that. Maybe I will have Alicia do that, you know, just to tide me over till you get home.”

“I don’t think you’re cute at all.”

“Yes, you do. I’m just kidding. Where’s Celeste? Is she in her own room?” I asked, knowing that she was not.

“No, we have work to do, but she has her own bed here. That’s different.”

“How’s that different? You’re letting a beautiful woman sleep in the same room as you, and I’m just supposed to be okay with it?”

“Yes, aren’t you?”

I shook my head. “Yes, Drew. I’m okay with it. I’ve been on trips with you two. You’re both ridiculous. I’ll talk to you in the morning. We’re going to watch a movie.”

“Sleep in pants.”

“I love you,” I retorted, hanging up. I couldn’t believe he was suddenly jealous over Alicia. All because of the night I’d drank a little too much and grinded with the pregnant girl.

“We should go to the beach house soon. You’re going to be too pregnant to go soon.”

“I’m already too pregnant. I can’t believe I agreed to do this. How much longer?”

“Not even three months. It’ll be here before you know it.”

“Oh my god, Morgan. I can’t watch this.”

“Why?” I asked, looking up to the sex scene, laughing.

“Were you this way when you were pregnant? Always wanting sex?”

“I wanted it, I didn’t always get it. Drew and I spent a lot of those months apart, remember?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know how you did it, and it seems like it’s worse when she’s gone. Why do I want sex when Celeste leaves town?”

“How do you and Celeste have sex?”

Alicia chuckled. “You do know that your husband is listening to this conversation, don’t you?”

“Yeah, he probably is. I’m curious, tell me.”

“Like any other couple does, minus the penis.”

“You mean you have like toys and stuff?”

“Do you have toys and stuff?”

“Yes, but Drew has a permanent one that is always there.”

“Celeste sort of does too. There is not a human on earth that knows how to use their mouth better than she does.”

“I’d argue that. Drew is amazing with his tongue.”

Alicia’s phone rang first, and then mine. I could hear Celeste yelling before I ever answered mine. Drew did his own yelling, both ordering us to stop talking about our sex lives. I would let it go, but now I was really curious. I’d just wait until we weren’t in my bedroom to carry on this conversation.

***

We spent our next Thursday with Deidra, talking about me once again. I think she was easing Drew into it, knowing I’d cooperate a little more than he would. I was worried about his turn to share. Drew was so attentive, listening to me describe the way I’d been raised, the hard times we fell on, and the lack of things most people took for granted.

“I don’t think I take things for granted,” Drew interrupted. “I am very thankful for what I have.”

“You do, Drew. I’m talking about things you don’t even think about.”

“Like what?”

“Hot water. Have you ever heated water on a gas stove that you had to light yourself? Heat, have you ever had to pry frozen wood apart to stay warm? Have you ever eaten popcorn for supper because it was the only thing in the house? I can name a hundred things in five minutes that you take for granted,” I assured him, raising my voice. He had no clue. None whatsoever, and his little pity party was pissing me off.

“Now, I’m going to stop you. We’ve established that Drew was to blame for Justin. Honey, Drew’s not to blame for this. Drew had nothing to do with the hardships of your upbringing.”

Well, hell. She was right. I was getting mad at the wrong person. “I’m sorry,” I said, looking to Drew. He was wearing a sad smile and a heavy heart for me. Drew would take it all away if he could. I knew he would.

Chapter 4

Drew refused to visit the beach house, using the excuse that he had too much to do. He could have done it there. He didn’t want to see my mother. He was carrying a lot of animosity towards her after the last few sessions with Deidra. He was forced to listen to things he had no clue about. He didn’t like it, nor did he like the fact that my mother was a barroom slut and left me to take care of her baby.

“Drew, you know how I lived. You’ve been to my mother’s a dozen times. Why now? Why does this bother you now?”

“Because I can’t imagine anyone, letting their children be brought into a situation like that. Why would she even have kids if she wasn’t planning on taking care of them?”

“She takes care of Caroline.”

“Yeah, and that pisses me off too. She tossed you and Justin away and ran off and had another family. Who does that?”

“Drew, you’re the one that told me she deserved a second chance, and she was trying to make it right. Isn’t that what you’re doing? Are you not using your second chance right now? Please come with me,” I begged. I didn’t want to go if he wasn’t coming too.

“Okay, fine.”

Yes!

That was exactly what Drew and Celeste did the whole four days we were there. They may as well have stayed home. All they did was work. Alicia and I spent time on the beach, looking for sea glass with Caroline and Vincent. My mom kept Nicky while we walked the shore in search of treasure. Caroline and Vincent had a little rivalry going on. Vincent now had twenty-four pieces of gems, and Caroline had twenty-nine. Of course it wasn’t really fair, Caroline lived on the beach. Vincent lived in the desert.

“If you don’t pay attention to me soon, I’m going to explode,” I tormented Drew. It was the first time in three days I’d seen him alone, without Celeste stuck to his side.

He smiled and kissed my lips. “One conference call and I am finished for the day,” he promised. I groaned.

“Where’s your sidekick?”

“She left. Alicia was ready to kill her too.”

“One more call,” I warned, holding up one finger.

“Where’s your mom?” I asked Vince who was watching cartoons.

He shrugged his shoulders, “I dunno. I think Mom Celeste is outside on the phone, and I don’t know where Mom Alicia is.”

I headed down the hall towards Alicia’s room. I should have knocked. Why didn’t I knock? Celeste wasn’t outside on the phone. I stood there, opened mouthed, like an idiot. Alicia had her hands firmly around the spindles of the headboard, in two tight fists. Celeste was between her legs, both naked.

“Jesus, Morgan. Get out!” Celeste finally had to yell, pulling me from my frozen state.

“Sorry,” I managed to spit out, shaking my head, turning on my heels and getting the hell out of there.

Thank god Alicia was so outgoing. She made sure things weren’t awkward between us when we all gathered on my mother’s deck for steaks. Celeste, on the other hand, wouldn’t even look at me. I really didn’t think it had anything to do with what I’d seen her doing to Alicia. I think it had more to do with the fact that I caught her like that, exposed and vulnerable. She needed to be portrayed as sophisticated, put together like Drew. It was truly disturbing how much alike the two of them were when it came to success.

Celeste would do anything to ensure Alicia got to stay home with their kids. She was a lot like Drew in that sense too. She worried about Alicia and Vincent just like Drew did, always lecturing her about playing it safe.

Alicia totally understood when I complained about Drew being so protective. Celeste treated her the same way. Like the time I called him to tell him I was going to the strip, shopping. Little Boys Boutique was having a sale, and I wanted to go.

“You don’t need to worry about a sale. You’re a millionaire ten times over. Wait until I get home and I will take you shopping,” he’d challenged. Of course, I waited for him. I’m not sure what he was worried about. He just worried.

“Come on, Nicholas. Daddy will take you home and fix you a bottle,” Drew said, taking Nicky from my mom. He had been distant toward me since we went over there. He was judging my mother over what he’d learned during our sessions with Deidra. He had no right to judge anyone. What she did was no different than what he’d done.

“We’ll be there in a little bit,” I told him, letting him leave.

“Can I come, Drew?” Vincent asked.

“Sure, come on. Us men will go home, find some sports.”

I laughed at that. Drew didn’t watch sports. I’d never seen him watch sports.

“You think that’s funny?” he asked, kissing me goodbye.

“Uh-uh, you should do that. I think it’s baseball season,” I teased.

Celeste, Alicia, and I walked up the beach back to our house about an hour later. I’d known Celeste and Alicia for almost a year now. I never saw them this way. I was fascinated by the way Alicia leaned into her like I would Drew and held her hand walking down the beach. I was intrigued by the relationship they had. They were so in love, and I found myself curious about their lives behind closed doors for the first time.

“I walked in on Celeste going down on Alicia today,” I blurted out. Drew stopped dead in his tracks, looked up to me, speechless, entering our room from the shower.

“Okay, and you needed to tell me this, why?”

“I don’t know. You’re my husband. I’m supposed to tell you everything,” I retorted, pulling the covers back.

“There are some things you don’t have to tell me. That’s one of them. I can’t picture Celeste like that. I’m sure she doesn’t want me picturing her like that. Gross. Where were they?”

“In their room. I thought Celeste was on the phone. Vince told me she was on the phone.”

“Are you jealous? I can do that for you, if that’s what this is about.”

“It’s not. I mean, yes, you can do that, but that’s not why I told you.”

“Okay, why did you tell me then?”

“I don’t know. I’m just curious about them, I guess. You know, about them both being females and being in love and stuff.”

“You’ve always known they were a couple.”

“I’m curious about their sex life though.”

“Oh, man, Morgan. Do we have to discuss this? I can’t work with Celeste and think about that. I’ll have to fire her and I don’t want to do that. She’s really good.”

“Alicia says she’s good in bed. Do you think a girl can be good in bed, I mean with like another girl?”

Drew threw his head back, covered his face with his hands and groaned, frustrated that I was having this conversation.

“Where’s your laptop?” I asked.

“Why?”

“I want to watch a video.”

“You want to watch porn?”

“Yes.”

“But not just normal porn, right?”

“No.”

“You want to watch girls?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I already told you. I’m curious.”

“We’ve seen porn with girls before.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t curious then. I didn’t think about it like I do now, like them being in love. They were just acting, doing it for show. Go get your laptop. I want to watch it.”

Drew shook his head, but walked out to get his computer.

We watched for a little bit. Well, I watched, Drew was more in tune to my reaction to the two beautiful girls on his screen.

“You do know it’s still cheating if it’s the same sex, don’t you,” Drew asked. I turned back to look at him.

“You afraid I’m going to wake up gay tomorrow?” I teased, amused at him.

“Well, you’re curious. Isn’t that how, why everyone has sex? Does that turn you on?” he asked, nodding back to the screen.

I turned back to the sixty-nine positioned women, noticing the throb between my legs. “What do you think?” I asked, moving Drew’s hand between my legs.

“Your panties are wet,” he rasped, rubbing through the silk barrier. I closed his laptop, and he set it aside. “Take them off.”

Sliding out of my panties and lifting my shirt over my head, I slid to a laying position. Drew ran his fingers up my slippery folds, and I moaned.

“Fuck, baby,” he said, becoming aroused at how wet I was.

“Lick it, Drew.”

“You know my dick grows in point three seconds when you say that, don’t you?”

“Hmm. Mmm,” I moaned, feeling two fingers slide deep inside my pussy.

Drew violated my throbbing, over aroused pussy, causing me to moan, writhe my hips into him, and spread myself, wanting him to see me, touch me, and taste me. We were both so into what we were doing and what we were going to do when Nicholas decided that he needed me more than Drew needed me.

“Shit.” Drew stopped all movement. I groaned, moved his hand away from my pissed off pussy and got up.

Sliding my robe on, I left Drew, face down, beating the mattress over his head with unsatisfied punches.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” I softly spoke, picking up my crying little guy. He instantly stopped crying.  He needed to go back to sleep, fast.

I changed him, and then bounced around the room with him, humming softly to his head. He was asleep in minutes. Laying him back on his bed, I kissed his head and left him, lightly closing his door.

Walking to the kitchen to turn off the light that I was sure Vincent left on again, I stopped when I heard noises from Celeste and Alicia’s room. They were having sex. That was Celeste’s moan. I wondered what they were doing as I stood there listening to Celeste close to orgasm. Was Celeste on the receiving end this time?

“What the hell are you doing?” Drew whispered behind me.

“Shhh.”

“Morgan. No. Get away from that door.”

I didn’t listen, not to Drew anyway. I stood there, listening as my pussy began to throb with ridiculous pulsating sessions.

“You’re fucked in the head,” Drew guaranteed when I untied my robe and moved his hand between my legs.

I couldn’t answer. He was doing all the right things on my overactive clitoris. I didn’t care if Drew thought I was fucked in the head. It was hot as hell, at least I thought so. Cocking my leg a little, Drew ran my slippery wet juices up my slit, circling my overactive clitoris with the tips of his fingers. I was so close to coming with Celeste when I moaned and Drew stopped.

“Go,” he whispered, turning me towards our room. He didn’t want me making enough noise to send Celeste our way. That would mortify him and me both.

“Lay down,” Drew demanded, keeping my feet on the floor. I backed up and started to push myself up on my elbows. Drew stopped me, keeping my hips to the edge of the bed and my feet planted on the floor. “Keep your legs open,” he ordered, going to the closet to retrieve what I knew he was after.

“Drew, I don’t want that. I want you.”

“You’re going to get me, don’t you worry.”

Shit. I hated that stupid thing as much as I loved it. I wondered if Celeste had one of those rods. I was going to ask her. No, I’d ask Alicia.

Drew slid the stool between my legs and sat down, spreading me with his fingers. Stiffening, I tensed, anticipating the electrical current about to be placed on my clit.

“Ohhhh, fuck,” I moaned, trying to slide away from him. I can’t even describe the feeling of that rod that with one tiny little touch would drive you senseless. It was instant orgasm—almost. It brought you right there, ready to fall, and then stopped. It was torture. I endured it five times. Five times, Drew touched the tip of the rod to my swollen little nub, before I was begging to finish.

Drew rubbed my drenched pussy, coming to a crouch in front of me. Inserting a deep finger, Drew massaged the upper wall of my pussy while pinching my clitoris between his fingers, giving me a mini hand job.

“Drew,” I moaned, feeling a foreign pleasure. I knew I was going to come, but this was different. This was a lot of pressure, followed by a powerful orgasm.

“Shhh,” he shushed me, pressing his middle finger deep into my pussy, pushing just above my pubic bone with his other hand and applying pressure in a come here motion. I know I shouldn’t be embarrassed by anything Drew and I did, but I was.

“Oh, my god. I’m going to be so embarrassed,” I moaned in a breathy, panting voice as I felt the first bout of something. I wasn’t sure what was going on just yet. I couldn’t focus enough to grasp it. Did I just piss myself? “Oh, fuck. Hmmm,” I called, feeling another squirt and then another. Shit. It wouldn’t stop. It was so intense, something I’d never felt before.

“Jesus, Morgan,” Drew hissed, rubbing my juices from his hand up and down my pussy.

“Put it in me, Drew,” I begged, needing him inside me.

Drew easily slid into my pussy, sending my lingering orgasm into overtime. He pulled my legs up, resting them on his shoulders, and looked down, watching his cock slide in and out of my pussy. As soon as I was at my second peak, Drew rubbed my nub, sending me over the edge. Pumping harder in and out of me, he pulled me up and to my knees. I parted my lips and took his juices with him moaning, jerking himself in my mouth.

“Morgan?” Drew whispered to the back of my head.

“Shut up, Drew. Don’t talk about it. I’m embarrassed enough.” I knew what he was going to say before he said it.

“You ejaculated.”

“I told you to shut up. Oh, my god. Please stop talking.”

“Why? I freaking loved it. You know I’m going to do that again, don’t you?”

“Go to sleep.”

Chapter 5

Drew just happened to have to go out of town the following Thursday, and then the next and then the next. I knew he was prolonging his turn to talk to Deidra. He promised that wasn’t what it was, and he was just busy with the end of the quarter. He was lying.

“Nope. No way. Celeste can handle it,” I argued when he wanted to cancel again the next week.

“Morgan, we’ve been doing great. Why do we need to keep doing this?”

“Because you promised.”

Drew groaned, whined, and did all but throw himself on the floor in a tantrum, but I won and he went. I think I was more interested in finding out who Drew was, more than fixing anything. He’d never talked about his family, his mother, grandparents, where he grew up, school friends, nothing. I guess I’ve always pictured Drew as an adult. I’d never even seen a picture of him as a little boy, or his mother. He got rid of everything in her room years before. I just didn’t understand why.

“I was beginning to think you guys had the perfect life now,” Deidra spouted, opening the door to her office for us.

“We do,” Drew retorted. I gave him a look. He didn’t want to do this. He wasn’t the least bit interested in digging up old bones. I wanted him to do this. I needed him to do this.

“Let’s start with your earliest memory, Drew. Say around three or four. Do you remember where you lived at that age?” Deidra began.

“Yes, I lived in an apartment over Baker’s Drugstore on Freeport.”

“So you’ve always been a Vegas native?”

“No. You asked me to remember where I lived when I was three or four. I was born in Idaho Falls.” My head instantly turned in his direction. I never knew that. I thought he always lived here in Vegas.

“How old were you when you came to Vegas?”

“Three.”

Deidra had to continue to ask the questions. Drew wasn’t volunteering anything on his own.

“Where is your father?”

Drew shrugged. “Never met the man, well, not that I remember anyway. I guess he’s still in Idaho.”

“Were your parents married?”

“No.”

“Why did you move to Vegas?”

“Because I was three years old. I didn’t have a lot of say in the matter.”

“Okay, why did your mother move to Vegas?”

“She had a fight with my grandparents. She took me and left.”

“Do you know what the fight was about?”

“Does it matter?”

“Do you think it matters?”

“Is this really necessary? What does me being three have to do with Morgan and me?”

“We discussed this when Morgan talked, remember? We can skip to the symptom if you want. I don’t care. It’s your money, you’re paying me. Here, why don’t I just write you a prescription, a magic pill that’ll just make everything perfect? Is that what you want, Drew?” Deidra asked, moving from her customary chair to behind her desk. I held my breath, waiting for Drew to drag me out of her office, never to see her again.

“Drew, please,” I softly pleaded, placing my hand on his forearm. I didn’t like the look. I knew the look. He was pissed.

“Fine, you want to know how I grew up? You think this shit is going to cure the problem? What the fuck is the problem anyway?” Drew asked, standing and raising his voice.

Neither Deidra nor I spoke.

“You want the fucked up details? Is that what you want?” he yelled, looking right at Deidra.

“Nothing you say could surprise me,” she confessed, nodding for him to continue with raised eyebrows.

“We moved here to get away from my grandfather.”

“What do you mean?” Deidra coaxed. Drew turned to look out the window, lowering his voice.

“My grandfather was my mother’s stepdad. When my grandmother went off the deep end, ending up in a psych ward, she was made to take her place. She was thirteen.”

I gasped.

“Drew is your mother’s stepdad, your father?” Deidra tentatively asked.

“Yes.”

I audibly gasped that time. I couldn’t help it. Deidra gave me a look, wanting me to keep it together trying to keep him talking. I didn’t know what to think. Drew kept this bottled up inside him all these years. His step grandfather was also his father. Holy fuck!

“How old was your mother when she got pregnant with you?”

“Fifteen. My mother was a little sick as well. I mean, who wouldn’t be after that, right?” Drew asked as he continued. He never turned around to look at either of us. It was almost as if he wasn’t talking to us at all. “My mom used to tell me this story. Who does that? Why would you ever tell your child things like that? I will never put anything like that on Nicholas’s shoulders—ever. She told me how when my grandmother would have a spell and have to go to the hospital her stepdad would tell her that it was her job to take care of him while she was gone.

My mother had to sleep in the same bed with him, cook for him, pack his bucket, he even made her bathe him. My mother wasn’t your average looking girl. My mother was gorgeous, mind you. She’d always been a beautiful woman, right up to the day she died. Can you imagine telling your son these things? She never did tell me that Carson Boyce was my father, not in so many words, anyway. It wasn’t that hard to figure out. I mean, come on, she told me about sleeping with the bastard. I knew why we left, I wasn’t born yesterday. I always felt dirty, like there was something wrong with me because of who my father was.”

“He wasn’t blood,” I pointed out, trying to make it better for him. He acted as though he didn’t hear me, and continued. Deidra placed her finger over her lips, telling me not to talk.

“I remember being on that bus for what seemed like days. I don’t know what she was thinking. We had a paper sack with clothes and no money. I vaguely remember sleeping in a shelter and then in the apartment above the drugstore.”

Drew turned and looked right at me. “I don’t know what it’s like to eat popcorn for supper. I never had that luxury. I ate spaghetti from a can, day after day after day. That’s what my mother made for me: spaghetti from a can.”

Drew hated spaghetti. That explained it.

“My mom never worked a normal job. Her job was done at home. She explained to me that she entertained men to pay the bills. I was too young to know what that meant until I was around ten.”

“What happened when you were ten, Drew?” Deidra asked.

Drew got quiet and stared out the window with a lovely view of an alley full of dumpsters. “She started entertaining Michael. Michael got her a job at the jewelry store down town, moved us to an upscale apartment, and demanded that he was the only man she’d be entertaining from now on.”

“That’s when I started taking care of myself. She would go to his house in the weekends, and I wouldn’t see her until he dropped her back off at our door.”

“Who stayed with you?”

“No one. Michael insisted that I be a man and take care of myself. This was our life until we moved in with him a short time later, very short, like three months. Michael had taken us to a summer fest for wedding planners. That’s when I met Randal Callaway. Randal loved my mother from that first day. I think he really just wanted Michael to settle down and give him a grandchild. At least with my mom, he’d sort of have a grandson, although he never treated me that way.”

“Is that when you moved in with him?”

“Yes, he’d always tell my mother that he was going to marry her, but even at ten, I knew he wasn’t going to do that. She wasn’t the only one that entertained Michael Callaway. She was just the one that was kept in his house.”

“A kept woman?”

“Yes, Michael lavished her in expensive luxuries, and she did everything he told her to do.”

I wanted him to stop. Drew was talking about my father, Michael Callaway. I didn’t want to think of him this way. He was ruining the image of the good-looking man that swept my mother off her feet. He was supposed to be my knight in shining armor.

“You said you started taking care of your mother around the age of ten. What did you mean by that?” Deidra asked.

“My mother was sick, she needed her medication. When she didn’t have it, things happened to her, she saw things. Before we moved to the estate, I made sure she took it religiously. Michael didn’t. He used it as a form of punishment when she didn’t do what he wanted.  Michael would keep it from her sometimes and then call the medics to come and get her. She’d be gone for a few days and then he’d bring her back, keep her on her meds until she pissed him off, or didn’t do what she was told.”

“She was schizophrenic?” I softly questioned.

“Yes. She’d see demons, thinking they were coming for her for having a devil child. Sometimes the demons would send allies, spiders, snakes, and armies of insects. She’d hide in a corner, kicking her legs, trying to get them off her. That’s when Michael would call for help and she’d be gone for a few days. I hated when Michael made me go to that hospital. It gave me the creeps, and it was exactly the way my mother described it to me when she had to visit her mother.”

I attentively listened to Drew describe the crazy house, the other patients, and the way his mother would tell him he was a devil’s spawn. She blamed him for putting her there, not Michael. My heart was breaking for him. I’d spent all these years thinking poor me. I never knew. I always thought of Drew as a poor little rich kid.

“Good job, Drew. I’m proud of you, and I feel like we’ve made some progress today. I think that’s enough for one day. We’ll pick up here next week,” Deidra proposed. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted him to keep talking. I wanted to know.

Drew looked at me, realizing what he’d just said in front of me. He didn’t like it.

“Let’s go,” he ordered.

I followed Drew’s quick pace to the car. He was upset; he never walked in front of me. “Drew,” I softly tried, touching his arm.

“Don’t! You fucking happy? Is that what you needed to hear? You can look down on me now. You can take me off your fucking pedestal,” he yelled, jerking his arm away from my touch.

I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. Drew got in the driver’s seat not opening my door and tapped the steering wheel with his fingers. I was afraid, really afraid for the first time in a long time. He drove like a crazy person, weaving in and out of traffic all the way home. We rode in silence with me being terrified of my husband and Drew pissed off at the world.

“What?” he answered Celeste through the car speaker.

“You on your way? We have a briefing, remember?”

“I’m not going. You go. You can handle it, can’t you, or do you need me to come and hold your fucking hand?”

“Drew,” I tried calming him. He shot me a look to shut up. I did.

“Damn, sure no problem. Call me when you get your shorts out of your ass.”

Drew hung up.

“Go upstairs,” Drew ordered, parking the car.

“No, Drew. You’re upset. I’m afraid to be alone with you.”

“You should be, and you don’t want to defy me right now,” he assured me through gritted teeth and a terrifying, hateful glare.

I didn’t want to go upstairs with him. I was afraid of what he would do.

Marta met us at the door with Nicholas. I took him from her and kissed his cheeks. He squealed, seeing Drew behind me. Drew didn’t even talk to him, he took him from my arms and handed him back to Marta.

“Take him,” he ordered, shoving me towards the stairs.

“Morgan?” she called after me.

“It’s fine. We’ll be down in a little bit.”

Drew answered his phone, stopping me at the bottom step. “Go upstairs and take your clothes off. I’ll be there as soon as I take this call,” he quietly ordered in my ear.

Of all times that I wanted to protest, this was it. I could put Drew in his place just like Celeste and Deidra did, but not now, not like this. I was afraid to defy him in his current state, knowing I’d only make it worse.

I sat naked on the bed, waiting for what seemed like hours for Drew to come and do what I knew he was going to do. It brought back a flood of emotions and memories. I used to hate waiting naked for Drew to come to me. What the hell was I doing? I didn’t have to deal with this. I could walk away with Nicky and never look back. Why couldn’t I do that? Why didn’t I just get up, get dressed, and take my baby out of there?

Because Drew had just opened up a new can of worms, that’s why. I’d just learned some pretty messed up shit about his upbringing. I felt sorry for him. He was hurting and needed to vent. I wish he could vent in other ways, like let me be there for him, tell him we were going to be okay, and make him feel secure. He wasn’t the type to do that, not yet anyway. Hopefully, Deidra would get us to that point, but right now Drew needed me to be somebody else. I would be that person for him. I could take the fucked up sex. I just hoped he didn’t feel the need to hit me.

“You like thinking about Celeste licking Alicia’s pussy?” Drew asked, slamming the door behind him. What the fuck? I wasn’t expecting that. That had been weeks ago. I hadn’t mentioned it at all. “Get up,” he demanded.

I stood, trying to feign a hurt look, wanting him to see what he was doing.

“Answer me. You like that, Morgan? Is that what your problem is? You want your pussy licked by Alicia, or is it Celeste?”

“No,” I quietly replied, taking the blow to the corner of my mouth. I could taste the blood before I saw it.

Drew grabbed a fist full of my hair and pulled me to him. “You know I love you, don’t you, Morgan?” he asked, fighting with everything in him not to hurt me.

“Yes, it’s okay. We’re okay, Drew,” I tried soothing him.

He shoved me away from him, backhanding me again, and then again before throwing me to the bed. I was scared. I hadn’t seen Drew like this in a very long time. He wasn’t Drew at all. He was out of control. I screamed when his belt came down hard across my ass. After five very painful blows, I breathed a sigh of relief, hearing the belt hit the floor.

I felt the sting across my ass when he told me to roll over.

“Spread your legs. Isn’t that what you want, Morgan? You like being a little slut?” he asked, running his fingers up my pussy. I wasn’t wet like I would have normally been. I was in too much pain to be wet. I could feel my swollen lip with my tongue, still tasting blood. The dull ache in my eye reminded me of his knuckles, and my ass felt like it was bleeding fire.

I couldn’t answer, I couldn’t talk. I was in my own state, hell, I couldn’t even cry. I didn’t know what I was feeling: hurt, anger, betrayal, wounded. I had so many emotions going on at once, I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t want to feel that, I thought, watching Drew emerge from our closet with the rod that I didn’t want. I didn’t want to come, I didn’t want to come close to coming, and I didn’t want him touching me.

“You honestly don’t think you’re going to come, do you?”

Again, I didn’t answer. I grabbed the covers in both my fists as he touched me with the electrical current, bringing me to the brink of an orgasm that I wouldn’t be having. Nine agonizing jolts later, he was finally tired of playing that game. Thank god. I didn’t know how much more I could take without begging him to stop.

“Roll over, bad girl.”

I moved to my stomach, accepting his soothing hands on my sore ass. “Why do you make me do this?” he asked, rubbing the soreness from my ass cheeks.

Again, I didn’t answer. He wasn’t looking for answers. I felt him spread my ass cheeks with his hands, exposing my puckered hole. Closing my eyes, I used my senses to figure out what he was doing. Listening to the cap being popped on the tube, and feeling the cool liquid run down the crack of my ass, he massaged the lubricant around my opening before inserting a finger, and then two. Relying on my senses, I heard the tear from the condom. He only used a condom when he was planning on finishing in my mouth. Clenching my jaw, I felt him slide in a little, and then a little more until he was slowly moving in and out of me.

“Move up on your knees and spread yourself open.”

I did what I was told as he grabbed my hips and pulled me towards him, in and out, in and out. Drew picked up speed and vigor, hissing and moaning as he fucked me. I knew it was just a matter of time. He slid out of me, pulled me to the floor by my arm and stroked himself on my lips. Jerking himself to come, he moved me back to the bed, slid into my pussy and pumped ferociously in an out, trying to make himself come. As soon as he felt the sensation again, he pushed me back to my knees and I swallowed him.

“Drew,” I called before he closed the door, leaving me alone.

He turned to me with regret already showing in his eyes.

“I never put you on a pedestal,” I quietly said, lowering my eyes from his just like I would have before my accident, when he treated me like my father treated his mother.

Chapter 6

“Marta, please don’t do this. I need you here. Nicholas loves you. I don’t trust him with anyone else,” I begged as Marta packed up the last of her things.

“Look in the mirror, Morgan. I’m not going to stand around here and watch this anymore. You need to get away from him before he really hurts you. I’ll help you. Please, Morgan. Get out of this house,” she begged right back.

“I’m not going to leave him, Marta. I can’t. Not right now.”

Marta turned her attention back to her packing with a sad look. “I’m going to read about your death in the paper,” she sadly spoke, walking past me and right out of my life.

I knew Drew was watching from his office. He never came out to stop her. He just let her go. Now what was I supposed to do? It wasn’t like I couldn’t take care of Nicholas myself. I could, but it was still nice having someone there to do the cooking and take him when I needed a moment of me time.

“Why is Celeste working downtown this week?” Alicia asked as soon as I answered my phone.

“I don’t know. Ask her.”

“I did. She said Drew told her not to come to the house. Why can’t she come to the house? Something’s going on. I can tell. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Leave Nicholas with Marta for a little bit. Let’s go get some lunch or something.”

“I can’t today.”

“Why? What are you doing?”

“Marta is taking a couple days off, and Nicholas is teething. He’s so fussy right now. I want to stay home. We’ll do something later on in the week.”

“Give him a freezer pop. You know the ones in the plastic wrappers? Let him chew on that. That’s what we did for Vincent.”

“Okay, I’ll try that. I’ll call you later. He’s crying,” I lied.

“Okay, but hurry up. I’m bored.”

I didn’t really lie. As soon as I hung up, I heard the baby monitor come alive. I walked upstairs and to his room. After changing him we sat in the rocker as I gave him a bottle and rocked him back and forth, contemplating my life. Drew had been distant since his episode the day before. He didn’t even sleep in our room, just like old times, he left me alone.

Nicholas sat up after his bottle, and played with the black sea glass necklace around my neck. Pulling his clasped little fingers away from the delicate chain, I sat him on the floor and turned to get him some toys. I sucked in an audible breath when I turned back to him on all fours.

“What are you doing, big guy?” I smiled. “Drew, come in here,” I called, knowing he was watching us. He always watched us.

Sitting on the floor, I placed the red truck away from him, encouraging him to crawl to it. I looked up through the slit in my eye to see Drew. He squatted behind me as I leaned into him, wanting things to be okay.

“Come here, baby,” I coaxed.

“He’s doing it,” Drew exclaimed, excited when Nicky moved towards us with a giggly squeal. It took him a little bit to figure it out, but he did it. He crawled the three feet to us, reaching his prize that instantly went to his mouth.

I turned to smile at Drew looking at me and not Nicholas at all. He looked sad, hurt, and sorry. Those moments are what kept me grounded right there with him. I twisted my body and wrapped my arms around his neck as his went around my waist.

“I’m so sorry, Morgan. I don’t know why I do that. It’s not you. It’s not your fault at all. I’m sorry, baby.”

“Shhh,” I whispered to his lips. “I’m okay, we’re okay.”

“We’re not. What if Marta is right? What if I really hurt you?”

“You won’t, Drew,” I guaranteed.

“You don’t know that. I don’t know that. I can’t even explain what came over me last night, Morgan. I couldn’t have stopped it if my life depended on it.”

“Let’s just forget it, okay? Please.”

Drew took a deep, defeated breath. He knew we couldn’t just forget it as much as I knew. And yes, I was afraid that the next time might be my last. Any mother on earth would have done the opposite of what I did. A normal mother would have taken her baby and left him. Why couldn’t I do that? Why did I feel like he was a vital part of my life?

Nicholas interrupted, trying to pull himself up to us. Drew picked him up, sandwiching him between us.

“Oh my. You stink,” I said, smelling the stinky diaper.

“Come on, Daddy will change you,” Drew offered.

“I’m going to take a bath. You got him for a little bit?” I asked.

“Yup, we’re going to get rid of this mess and then play with all these trucks. Right, buddy?”

I smiled and left them to their trucks.

I had to cook for us because we no longer had Marta. I didn’t mind at all. I liked being a housewife. Drew, on the other hand, didn’t like it. I think it was more of a status quo thing than anything. His wife didn’t belong in the kitchen. We had help for that. Stirring the noodles in the boiling water, I thought about what Drew had said about eating spaghetti from a can day after day. I contemplated his life as a little boy, living with a mother with a mental illness. I was afraid that our session with Deidra was just the tip of the iceberg.

“Did you hear me?” Drew asked, feeding Nicholas peas from his highchair.

“What?” I asked, being pulled from my daze.

“You need to reschedule the auctioneer appointment.”

“Why?” I asked the stupid question and then remembered. “Never mind. I will,” I added, knowing I wouldn’t leave the house until my bruises had vanished.

“Celeste wants to buy the house.”

“I know. Alicia told me. She doesn’t want it.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “She likes the closeness of their house. It’s three bedrooms, plenty big enough for a family of four. She doesn’t think they need Randal’s mansion.”

“It’s not a matter of needing. Celeste just wants to provide for them.”

“She’s doing that.”

“You don’t think they should buy the estate?”

“I don’t know. It’s not up to me. I guess they’ll work it out, but we have to let the auctioneer know if the house will be auctioned too, or just the contents.”

“I’ll talk to her later. Just reschedule and tell him you need time to decide whether or not you’re going to sell the house.”

Drew and I ate supper with Nicholas bouncing on his knee. He wouldn’t sit still long enough for us to eat in peace. We surprisingly talked like a normal couple, well, as much as possible anyway. I could see Drew staring at my battered face. Trying to ignore it, I talked like nothing was wrong, like we were the perfect couple.

That’s what I wanted to do, pretend. Drew pulled me close to him when we turned in for the night, kissing me on the head. “You okay?” he whispered to my hair.

“Yes, Drew. I’m fine, but I don’t know if I will be fine next Thursday. My eye is still swollen shut. I’m afraid the bruise won’t be gone by then.”

Drew sat up and looked at me like I was crazy. “Do you really think we’re going back there?”

“Um, yes. Absolutely.”

“Have you lost your mind? Why would you want to chance it?”

“Chance what? You hitting me again? We’re going to counseling because you hit me, remember?”

“But this time was way worse than that little love tap. I can’t chance that happening again.”

“And I can’t chance it happening again without Deidra.”

“Morgan, let’s stop this. I don’t need nor do I want to talk about my past.”

“Okay, so we’ll just keep going like we are. I’ll wait until you have a bad day at work and decide that you need to come home and beat the hell out of me for your made up, ridiculous reasons.”

“What does that mean?”

“Alicia. Remember? That’s why you were so mad. You’re afraid I am going to cheat on you with Alicia. Isn’t that what that was all about?”

“You know it wasn’t about that.”

“Yes, I do. It was about old wounds being brought to the surface. You were hurt and angry about your life. I was the one here to help you deal with that. I’ll always be here to help you deal with it as long as you are dealing with it. I’m not going to be your punching bag for no reason. If I have to endure your temper, you have to keep seeing Deidra.”

“I don’t want you to be my punching bag. Stop saying that. You know that’s not what I want.”

“Then keep seeing Deidra.”

“Let’s go to someone else. I don’t like her.”

“No, Drew. She’s the only one who has been able to get you to say anything. I do like her, and we’re not finding another therapist. I’ll cancel next week, but the next week, we’re going back.”

Avoiding Deidra was easy. She didn’t care whether we made our appointment or not, we were paying her, regardless. Alicia was the one that was hard to evade. She knew something was up, and I couldn’t tell her. Nicholas was teething, I was sick, I had to meet with realtors and auctioneers. I gave her every excuse under the sun, willing my bruised eye to heal. It was almost there, and you could barely see it with makeup by the middle of the next week. I should have given it one more day, but didn’t want to prolong our meeting with Deidra any more than I had to, afraid of Drew not going.

***

“I don’t want to leave him with Alicia,” Drew complained, chasing Nicholas away from the stairs. I couldn’t wait for him to start crawling, now I just wanted him to be still. He was fascinated with climbing the stairs. His toys were no longer enticing. He wanted everything else that he wasn’t allowed to have.

“Drew, Alicia has kept him a lot. I trust her with him more than anyone else. Who else is going to watch him?”

“We should just cancel until we find a new nanny.”

“I don’t want a nanny. I already told you that.”

“We’re hiring someone to help out around here.”

“Okay, whatever. He’s headed for the stairs again,” I said, giving in and going to the door to let Alicia in. I quickly turned away from her when she looked right at my eye. She knew.

“Oh, my god. He is crawling!” she exclaimed, seeing Nicholas trying to get away from his dad and to the steps.

“I told you,” I smiled, watching him squirm through Drew’s legs. “Drew come on, we’ve got to go.”

“He’s all over the place. You really have to watch him now. He’s determined to climb up the stairs and—”

“Drew, I’m pretty sure I know how to take care of baby. Go, get out of here,” Alicia persuaded, taking Nicholas from him.

“I don’t know about this, Morgan,” Drew nervously confessed on the ride.

“We’ve talked about this, Drew. You’re going to leave without me, go to your office downtown, and I’ll take a cab home. We’ve got this. It’s going to be fine.”

“I just don’t understand why you think bringing up this stuff is going to help anything.”

I reached for Drew’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I think it is going to help because you have a whole world weighing on your shoulders. I think you have kept things so tightly bottled up inside you for so long, you don’t know how to let them out. Deidra is going to help you learn to let go. And I think once you do, we’ll be able to move forward.”

“That all sounds good in the air, but I’m not sold on the idea of you hearing this.”

“I want to know all of you, Drew. I told you things about my childhood that you never knew, didn’t I?”

“Yes, but I can’t say that I’m better off knowing it. It pisses me off that you were raised like that. You know I had a hard time being around your mother after hearing all that?”

“Yes, I picked up on it, but I’m glad you know all of me. Let me know you, Drew.”

“I’m not sure you want to, Morgan. I did things, unthinkable things. I had a choice. You didn’t.”

“What does that mean, Drew? What things?”

Drew shook his head, trying to rid the thoughts. “Let’s just see where Deidra takes us today. I’m not sure I’m ready for you to know that side of me.”

I wanted to say something about the Drew that I’d been exposed to, remind him of last week when he beat the hell out of me, let him in on the little secret of the things that he did to me before my accident, and tell him I never wanted to know that Drew, but nobody gave me a choice either. I didn’t say anything. I kept quiet and stared out the window, anticipating what I would learn.

Chapter 7

“Glad to see you could make it,” Deidra started in on Drew right away. She wasn’t looking at me. She was directing everything to him. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this, maybe you two should just call it quits right now.”

“This is what I’m paying you for? You think I’m here because I want to be here? You think I want to come in here and listen to your smartass comments. We’re never calling it quits. If that’s what you think is going to come out of this, you’re sadly mistaken.”

“Actually that’s not what I think at all. You want to know what I think? I think you’re stupid,” she blamed, pointing right at me, “and I think you’re one lucky son of bitch. I will tell you one thing. If she comes in here, trying to cover bruises again then you can take your sorry ass out of here and to somebody that doesn’t mind a wife beater.”

“You can’t talk to me like that. You don’t know shit.”

“Morgan, how’d you get the black eye? Did Drew hit you? If he didn’t, I’ll gladly apologize.”

“Can we just get on with it?” I asked, wanting to get away from the touchy subject. She called Drew a wife beater. Oh, my god. His skin was probably burning from the boiling blood. I was definitely taking a cab home.

“Drew?” Deidra asked with raised eyebrows.

“Sure, whatever.”

“You were telling us about when you moved in with Michael.”

“Yeah, what about it?” Drew standoffishly replied. He wasn’t talking. She was going to have to get him started again, ask the questions, and hold his hand.

“Can you give us five minutes?” Drew asked.

Deidra nodded and left us alone. Drew turned to my puzzled face, taking both my hands.

“Morgan, I don’t think this is such a good idea. I don’t want you to know things.”

I halfheartedly smiled. “I want to know, Drew. I want to know everything about you. I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’ve never told anyone about my life. I don’t want you to hate the father you never knew.”

“Drew, if you hate him. I want to hate him with you. Would it be better if we didn’t talk about it with Deidra? What if we just talked in the privacy of our own home? Would that make it easier?”

“No. I’m afraid of doing that alone with you. If you’re making me do this, it has to be here.”

The door opened and Deidra resumed her seat opposite me.

I was surprised when Drew didn’t wait for Deidra to ask questions at all. He stood and walked to the window again, away from both our inquiring eyes. My pulse was rapid, anticipating what Drew had to say. It was something bad. I knew it was.

“Michael took me under his wing and started teaching me everything there was to know about Callaway Jewels,” Drew began, staring out the window. “I wanted to be just like him. He was so strong and powerful with a distinct façade. People watched Michael when he entered a room. Women flocked to his side and bowed at his every command, not just any women, beautiful, goddess looking women. Maybe it was my age and the hormones, but I wanted to be just like him. I wanted women to treat me that way. Hell, I even wanted to treat women the way he did, not just women, everyone. He talked to everyone like they were mud on his shoes. I watched his every move, mimicked his walk, his talk, and even started dressing like him. Imagine that one if you will.” Drew snickered, turning to look at me. “I was thirteen, dressing in three thousand dollar O’Brian suits, Richelieu leather shoes, and Rolex watches. If Michael had it, I wanted it. I was the big man on campus. Kids at school worshiped me, and the more power I acquired the more I wanted. I even charged twenty bucks a day for stupid kids to wear my eight hundred dollar sunglasses for the day.  By the time I was fourteen, I outgrew junior high. I didn’t fit in with those kinds of kids anymore. Michael took me out of school and sent me to Breakon Ridge, an all-boys school where I was surrounded by rich snobby boys just like me. I didn’t see my mother for three days after that day. Michael had locked her up when she argued that she didn’t want me in a private school. He didn’t care, it wasn’t up to her. And, of course, I wanted to do what Michael wanted me to do.

‘Locked up where?’ I was the one to ask Michael.

‘The gym,’ he sadly replied. I knew that was going to be Michael’s answer. I just needed to hear it for myself.”

“Drew, did Michael hurt you?” Deidra interrupted Drew’s story.

Drew looked at her, sliding his hands in his pockets. “No, he never hurt me. Why would you ask that?”

Deidra held a straight face, staring him down. “When was the first time he didn’t hurt you?”

Drew turned back to the window, standing quietly for what seemed like hours. “Michael took me to New York City. I spent the entire day right beside him, watching him negotiate and snake his way into three very lucrative stores. I’ve never seen a grown man so excited about diamonds. That man was obsessed. We ate in a restaurant right in downtown Manhattan on a rooftop, overlooking the entire world. I knew right that moment, I was going to be rich and powerful just like Michael.

‘You like this?’ Michael asked me.

‘Yes, sir. I sure do,’ I beamed. I was a fourteen-year-old business man, playing a very important role.

‘You do what I tell you to do, and keep your mouth shut when I tell you to keep it shut, and you’ll have all of this. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about money, power, and women.’

‘But you have my mom. What about her?’ I foolishly asked him.

‘I’ll always have your mother, but that doesn’t change the fact that a man has needs. You’ll learn that soon enough. Men have many needs, some different than others, but nonetheless, we all want pretty much the same thing.’

I nodded, agreeing with everything he told me. I had no idea what I was agreeing with, I just knew Michael Callaway could do no wrong, not in my eyes anyway. His word was gospel, and he was the only one I needed to listen to. I would walk in his shoes someday. I was sure of it. Michael drank a lot that night. I sat alone most of the evening overlooking the city while he danced and spent money on beautiful women. We didn’t retire to our hotel room until almost two in the morning. Michael plopped his drunk ass to the white leather sofa and I retired to my room, exhausted. Stripping down to my boxers I crawled in and passed out cold.” Drew paused.

I placed my hand over my mouth, listening to Drew describe life with my father. I knew what he was about to tell us. I knew it in my gut, and my heart was already breaking for him. . No. Please don’t let it be what I’m thinking it is.

Drew continued, “I didn’t even wake up when Michael crawled in bed beside me. I didn’t wake up until I felt his hands, sliding through the elastic of my shorts.

‘What are you doing?’ I asked Michael, trying to move away from him.

‘Shhh, remember how I told you to do what you were told and keep your mouth shut? This is one of those times you keep your mouth shut,’ Michael reiterated. I was sure I’d never been so humiliated in my life. I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t like I could defy him. He was Michael Callaway. I was afraid of him, of what he’d do to me or my mother, so I didn’t do anything. I lay there staring out the window into the dark night while my body reacted against my will and caved to the hands of Michael.”

“Drew you can stop,” I offered. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this, not at all.

Drew turned and looked at me. No, Drew looked through me. He wasn’t seeing me at all. He was in a dark place, recollecting things he’d tried to burry with my father and his mother.

“That’s all he ever did. He never made me touch him. He’d just climb into bed with me and fondle me until I was finished,” Drew stated, turning back to face the alley below. “He still treated me like a king during the day, teaching me everything he could teach me about success. It wasn’t like he was hurting me, and he assured me over and over that as long as I let him take care of mine and his need the way he wanted, he’d always take care of my mother. I did what I needed to do to insure that. Michael changed things up a bit shortly after I’d turned sixteen. I walked into his office one afternoon with a beautiful strawberry blonde, sucking his dick. He was instantly pissed.

‘Get the fuck out!’ Michael demanded. I turned, quickly leaving him and the female I’d known as Valerie.”

“How did you know her?” I asked Drew, forgetting that Deidra was even there. I didn’t feel like we were in the middle of a counseling session at all. I felt like it was just Drew and me. I wanted to go to him, hold him, and tell him I loved him. I didn’t do that. I knew he’d shut down, and as hard as it was to hear. I wanted to know. I wanted to know all of it. It was so surreal. Drew wasn’t the person I’d thought him to be at all. Yeah, he was strong and secure on the outside, but on the inside, I was sure he was a shattered mess. He had to be. What boy could keep all this bottled up and be okay? It instantly made me think about my own son. I’d kill anyone that hurt him.

“Her husband was a big time movie director, traveling a lot, leaving her alone more than he should have. He and Michael were good friends. He sent a lot of rich, famous people to Michael for expensive purchases. Valerie was there a lot,” Drew answered.

“And your mom?” I curiously asked, waiting for Deidra to stop me. She didn’t, she let us interact with each other without a word.

“She knew. She couldn’t do anything about it. She made excuses for him, saying he was just a man with needs. She was still sure he was going to marry her. He’d never had any intentions of marrying my mother. Trying to convince her of that fact was like pulling teeth, not that I ever got the chance anyway.”

“What do you mean?” I probed, confused.

“You know how the house is. I didn’t plant all those cameras; Michael did. He could hear every word we said. He didn’t let us around each other much, not alone anyway. She came down for meals, looking like a million bucks. She escorted my father to all his parties and functions, playing the role of the perfect couple. You of all people should know how that is. You played it too, Morgan.”

I only nodded, remembering the same dinner parties, with my arm looped through Drew’s, playing the flawless wife as well.

“Mind if you fill me in too?” Deidra asked.

“Later, that’s getting a little ahead of time,” Drew countered, and she nodded for him to continue. “Valerie left shortly after I’d walked in on them. Michael was furious when he came looking for me. I’d never seen him that mad before.

‘Go to my office,’ Michael ordered, taking a call on his cell.

I went to his office, bouncing around nervously, waiting for the unknown. I glanced at the computer screen, seeing my mother on his monitor, sewing. Why the fuck was she sewing? What the fuck was she sewing? I wondered, trying to occupy my mind.

‘Take your pants down, boy.’ Michael startled me, closing and locking the door behind him. I’d never done that in front of him. He’d always just crawled in bed with me. Hesitating he screamed for me to do it, now. I did. He moved his eyes down my scrawny sixteen-year-old body and removed his belt.

‘Bend over,’ he ordered.

I took his blows from the belt, gritting my teeth, and reminding myself that I was a man, and I wasn’t going to cry. He couldn’t make me cry,” Drew spoke vehemently.

“Drew, you were not a man. You were a boy,” I assured him.

“SHUT-UP!” Drew yelled, turning to me.

Deidra lightly shook her head, motioning me not to respond and for Drew to continue.

Drew then calmly proceeded, “That became Michael’s next thrill; me messing up so he could bend me over his desk and humiliate me with his belt. He still visited me whenever he wanted at night but never spoke of it. I never mentioned it either. I did what was expected of me. I’ll never forget the first time I stood in front of a group of men and led a meeting. It was in the Chicago store. It was struggling and Michael had given me three months to come up with a plan and fix it. I did, leaving him and a room full of men overly impressed with me. I never felt bad at all when I was the one made to fire three employees and up the hours of three more. I felt powerful, prevailing, and unstoppable. I was on top of the world and nothing was stopping me.

By the time I was seventeen, I could run Callaway Jewels, fire anyone without an ounce of remorse, and close a major deal better than Michael himself. I didn’t care about anyone, or anything. I only cared about the next big deal, how much money the stores were making, and how much power I held over others. You think I’m cocky now, you should have seen me then.” Drew smiled my way.

I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to hear more. Deidra stopped him after that. We’d already gone over our hour by ten minutes.

“Have a seat, Drew.” Deidra nodded to the sofa beside me.

Drew sat, reaching for my hand.

“Let’s pick up here, next week. Are you going to be here?” Deidra asked, looking at Drew and not me.

“Yes, we’ll be here.”

“No, makeup or dark sun glasses?” Deidra posed it as a question to Drew.

“No, she won’t need either. I promise,” Drew reassured her confidently.

“Drew’s not coming home right away. He’s going to work at his office downtown for a while. I’m going to take a cab home,” I elaborated.

“No, you’re not, and you’re riding with me. I’m fine.”

I was a little scared to do that. I mean, Drew seemed fine. He didn’t seem angry at all. I would prefer going with him. I just didn’t know if it was a good idea.

“Let’s set some ground rules. No talking about what we talk about here at home, okay?” Deidra asked, again looking at Drew. I knew why she didn’t want us discussing this at home. She wanted Drew right there where she knew he wouldn’t hit me. It was probably a safe move on my part, although I would have liked nothing more than continue this conversation at home.

“Drew, I can take a cab. I kind of want to,” I pleaded, walking to the car with him.

“No, Morgan. I’m fine. I promise. I want to be with you. I need to be with you.”

“I kind of wanted to go somewhere. I didn’t want to go home yet.”

“I have some time. I’ll take you.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I confessed.

He stopped, pulling my hand to stop with him. “Where do you want to go?”

“I want to go to the cemetery.”

“To your father?”

“He’s not my father,” I protested. I never wanted to be associated with that man—ever.

“I don’t want to go there, Morgan.”

“You don’t have to, Drew. Just let me take a cab. You can go home.”

Drew groaned and turned me before opening my door. “This is why I didn’t want to do this. You don’t need to hear this stuff.”

“I do, Drew. I want to know. I want to know it all.”

Drew, softly kissed my lips and opened my door. I knew he didn’t want me to know what he’d been through. He felt like he needed to protect me from it, but I felt like the only way he was going to protect me was to get it out. I was sure that Drew would crack if he kept it bottled up much longer. I’d be the one to go down with him. It really wasn’t implausible to be a story in the Las Vegas Review or make the channel eight news for a murder-suicide. I could see it happening. I could see it plain as day.

I texted Alicia in the car, asking if she could stay with Nicky for a while. Of course she could, only needing us back in time to get Vincent from school.

Drew drove up the dry lane, leading to the same cemetery that we’d buried Randal in. We never walked around that day. We didn’t go any further than the air conditioned tent where a handful of people said farewell to Callaway. When he passed, Drew was doing everything in his power to win me over, keep me with him and away from Dawson. Both our moods were different then. This day felt more like a mournful day than that day did. Both our moods were sort of somber now.

Holding my hand, Drew led me to the section where three graves lay side by side with matching headstones lined in a row. First was Michael, then Randal, and then Drew’s mother. That was the first time I’d even known his mother’s name. I was a horrible wife. I didn’t even knew her name. How could I not know her name?

Chapter 8

“Meredith Melissa Kelley,” I read out loud, looking at the photo of Drew’s mother placed in the center of the gray marble headstone. She truly was beautiful. Drew pulled me close with one arm, staring down at the remains of his mother.

“She is beautiful, Drew. How could her mother let that happen to her?”

“She was sick, just like my mom was.”

“Are you sick, Drew?”

Drew snickered, and kissed my forehead. “Probably. Are you?”

I snickered too. “Probably.”

“I really let her down.”

“Drew, you were a kid.”

“But I grew up. I could have taken her away from there. I could have gotten her away from him.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“She wouldn’t go. She loved him for whatever reason. She always made excuses for him.”

“Would she have loved him had you told her?”

“Come on, we’re not allowed to discuss this, remember?” he reminded me, moving down the line to Michael’s plot. I had a feeling she would have. I guess I was like Drew’s mom in some ways. No other woman in her right mind would love Drew after doing the things he had done. I loved him. I loved him more than anything. Maybe I was sick too, it wasn’t right. I shouldn’t love him.

I stared down at Michael’s plot, feeling hate, bitterness, and anger at this man, not only for what he did to Drew, but my mother as well. He didn’t have to want me. He had millions. He knew about me. He could have paid her child support and not let me live that way.

“Drew, let’s pee on it,” I blurted after a few moments.

“What? No. You’re crazy.”

“No, I’m not. Come on. Let’s do it,” I pleaded, unbuttoning my dress pants.

“Morgan,” he protested, looking around the empty cemetery. “Stop it. You’re not pissing on Michael’s grave.”

Standing there with my thumbs in my pants, I smiled a sneaky smile and dropped them right in the middle of his grave. Letting it flow he laughed. He had to. It was funny as hell, and exactly what we needed at that moment.

“You’re going to get us arrested.”

“Nobody’s here. Take your dick out and piss on it.”

“You really are crazy.”

“I know. Do it,” I coaxed, standing and pulling up my pants. I turned and smiled at the wet spot, soaking into the dry Nevada ground.

Drew released himself, aiming the straight stream right at the sophisticated face in the middle of the stone. I smiled, seeing the crooked grin on his face while his piss ran down Michael’s face.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” I asked, looking up to him.

Drew shook the dribbles from his penis and put it away. “I guess so, but you’re still crazy.”

I knew at that very moment, Drew and I were going to be okay.

***

“Morgan, you’ve got to take him. I’ve got to be on this call in ten minutes,” Drew urged, walking into the kitchen with a screaming Nicholas.

“I’m trying to cook. Put him in his highchair. I’ll give him some Cheerios,” I countered, turning back to stir my sauce.

That didn’t work. Nicky arched his back and screamed louder. Turning the stove off, I took him from Drew.

“We’re hiring a nanny, this week,” he resolutely informed me, leaving us alone to work.

“We don’t need a nanny, do we, buddy?” I sang, dancing and bouncing a fussy Nicky.

I did everything. I tried to feed him, give him a bottle, a warm bath, rock him, nothing made him happy. His little gums hurt, causing him to be miserable. I finally got him to settle down enough to finish cooking. Thank god he was happier after he’d woken from a short nap. I fed him his favorite sweet potatoes first and then a jar of bananas for desert. Drew was busy locked in his office with Celeste for hours. I didn’t think he was ever going to stop working.

Alicia had already called three times wanting to know what the hell they were doing. I lay across my bed with Nicholas around eight thirty and talked to her on the phone while he took a bottle, played with the remote control, and dozed off. I was still on the phone with Alicia when Drew finally came in, looking exhausted.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Celeste should be on her way, Drew just walked in.”

“He’s asleep? I wanted to see him before he went to bed,” Drew whined.

“Well, stop working a million hours. What have you been doing in there?”

Drew plopped his body half on top of me, kissed my lips and held Nicholas’s little hand. “Selling Chicago,” he replied.

“You sold Chicago? You don’t own Chicago. How can you sell Chicago?”

“Both the stores, silly. And we’re flying to New York to speak with a potential buyer for the Manhattan and Chinatown stores in a few days.”

I tried to sit up, shocked. Drew held me down, not letting me go. “Drew? Are you serious? You’re selling four stores? Why?” I asked, looking up to him.

“I’m selling nine stores. Celeste and I have already got it worked out.”

“But why?” I asked again, not understanding.

“It’s not as important to me anymore. I want be here. Nicky’s going to be one in a few more months. I don’t want to miss it.”

“I can’t believe he’s been here that long already. I can’t imagine not having him in our lives now, and you just called him Nicky.”

“I did not.”

“You so did.”

“Ugh, I did.”

“You want to take him to bed?”

“Yup,” Drew muttered, leaning over, kissing my lips, and lifting Nicholas.

I didn’t even hear Drew walk in from his shower. I was reading, wide eyed, scared shitless when Drew grabbed my book and screamed.

“You ass. Don’t do that,” I cussed, holding my chest to keep my heart from beating out.

Drew laughed. “Why do you read that stuff?”

“I like it, snuggle up to me. I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of?”

“Stewart Martin. He’s killing all the girls on spring break at Daytona Beach.”

“You’re not in Daytona.”

“I’m still scared.”

“Maybe I should get really, really close to you.”

“Yes, you should do that.”

“This close?” Drew asked, moving between my legs.

“Hmmm.”

Drew and I kissed and made out, fondling each other’s naked bodies like a couple of horny teenagers. I loved the way Drew kissed. Drew was the best kisser in the world. I could make out with him all day long.

“Ride me,” Drew moaned, rolling to his back.

No problem. I loved doing that too. The lust in Drew’s eyes when he watched me slide up and down his cock was a major turn on for me. I loved watching the lustful expressions as I slid his hardness in and out of me.

“You’re always so fucking wet,” Drew rasped, watching his rock hard cock, disappearing, in and out of me. “Rub your pussy for me, Morgan.”

Moving my fingers between my legs, I instantly moaned at the quivering response from my clitoris. I wanted to come. My pussy wanted to come.

“Don’t come.”

Well, shit.

“Ugh, why do you do that?”

“I like to make you wait. Put it in your mouth, taste your pussy on my cock.”

“You taste my pussy,” I countered, liking the sound of that better than me tasting it.

“You can either move down, put it in your mouth, or I can flip you over and fuck your mouth. It’s your call.”

“Hmmm?” I teased, pretending to think about it.

“Too late,” Drew directed, flipping me off and coming to his feet beside the bed. Drew slid me to the edge so my head was just over the bed and moved his cock between my lips. Holy fucking hotness. I loved it when he did that. I loved seeing his rock hard body above me, forcing his dick in and out, to the back of my throat.

I moaned when Drew pulled my legs up and circled my throbbing clit, massaging my essences from the back to the front. Jesus, I needed to come, I was going to come.

“Keep sucking me,” Drew said, trying to move his head back into my mouth.

“I can’t. I can’t come when you’re in my mouth. Oh, Drew. Right there. Hmmm. Yes, yes, yes, I moaned, thrashing my head back and forth, coming at the hands of his tantalizing fingers, doing all the right things.

“I get to spank you now,” Drew boasted.

I flipped to my stomach giving him full access to my bare ass. Drew stayed above me, feet planted on the floor and slapped my ass, hard. I moaned when he rubbed away the sting, sliding his fingers between my pussy lips.

“You like it when I spank you, don’t you, Morgan?”

“Yes,” I agreed, taking another blow to my already hot skin.

This kind of foreplay drove me insane. Drew spanked me, fucked me from behind, teased my pussy with a purple vibrator, fucked me with my legs over my head, did crazy things with his mouth, fucked me with his finger, causing three quick squirts and a mess on my side of the bed, and finally finished. Drew dropped my legs, looked deep into my eyes and slowly, made love to me, bringing home the finale.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing me softly between each word.

“I love you, too,” I replied, mimicking his moves and kissing him the way he had me, soft sweet kisses between each word.

“I’m about to plant my seed inside of you.”

“As long as we don’t grow another little Nicky, go ahead.”

“I wouldn’t mind another little Nicky.”

“You said it again.”

“Damn you. I did.”

“Drew.”

“Hmmm?”

“Ahhhhh,” I moaned, feeling the surge of the unexpected orgasm creep up. Drew followed, thrusting deep inside me, intensifying my own orgasm.

***

“I hate Thursdays. You do know that don’t you?” Drew whined, pulling into the parking spot at Deidra’s office. I ignored the comment. He whined about it every Thursday.

Deidra didn’t waste any time. She moved right in where we’d left off the week before.

“When was the last time Michael touched you?” she boldly asked.

“I don’t know. Nineteen, I guess, but I mostly just messed around with Valerie.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Drew once again walked to the window. “Valerie was around a lot. I guess I was maybe seventeen the first time I’d touched her.” Drew laughed and shook his head. “You have anything to drink here?” he asked Deidra.

“Yes, what would you like, caffeine or alcohol?”

“Alcohol.”

Deidra poured Drew a glass of vodka.

He swallowed a nice gulp and shuttered as it burned going down. “My mother had gone out of town for a fashion show. I was sitting in Michael’s office going over some numbers when he came in to get me, stating, ‘Come on, we’re going to play tonight.’ And he showed me a wicked smile. I was instantly panicked, thinking the worse. I was afraid Michael was going to expect me to do more. He was expecting me to do more, just not with him. Valerie was fucking beautiful, the kind of woman men pay big money for,” Drew explained.

I shifted on the sofa, uncomfortable about him calling someone else beautiful.

“I always knew Michael entertained Valerie. She was there every time her husband left town. Michael thought it was time I learn how to handle a woman. Valerie was the first woman I ever spanked,” Drew remembered, swishing his drink in a circle.

I looked at Deidra, feeling the crimson in my face. Did he just admit to spanking me? Did I just divulge it by my embarrassed cheeks?

“I did all kinds of things to Valerie that night. I tasted her pussy with the direction of Michael, telling me everything to do, spanked her, stuck my dick in her mouth, and then fucked her for five seconds. That’s how long I lasted. I’m not sure I even made it two strokes before I shot my load. I wanted my mother to be out of town after that night. When my mother was away, Valerie came to play,” Drew explained in great detail.

I may be the one, needing an intervention that night. I hated listening to him talk about what he did to this woman. I knew this woman. I knew exactly who she was, and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She’d been at many of the same functions that I was forced to attend with Drew. There was even one night that I was sure he’d taken her someplace and fucked her. Drew told me to stand right by the drink table, smile, and look pretty until he got back. I watched him follow her from the room. I had forgotten all about that night until he had to go and tell me how much he loved fucking her. I was sitting there fuming, sure I couldn’t be any angrier. I was wrong about that too.

“About a year after that, I met Skyler at an auction. She was the most desirable woman I’d ever seen in my life. Her coiffed, blonde hair was soft and flowed like waves in the ocean. Her eyes, I swear were brighter than blue diamonds.”

“Okay, Drew. We get it, we don’t need a poem about how beautiful Skyler’s hair and eyes are.” I assured him, crossing my arms in a pout. I got the look from Deidra that I was quickly learning meant to shut up.

Drew smiled at me with a wink before continuing, “Skyler and I rapidly became an item. Her parents loved me, her mother was determined that she and I would marry. When I wasn’t working, I was with Skyler. She’s how I met Derik. She and Jena were friends.”

“Wait. Jena was Skyler’s friend?” I interrupted again. She’d pretended to be my friend for many years.

“Yes, why?”

“Drew, how long were you and Skyler an item after we got married?” I was pissed. I didn’t care what Deidra said. I wanted answers.

“Morgan, you know things weren’t like that with us then. You can’t get mad at me for that now.”

“Oh, just like you can’t get mad at me when I have to talk about Dawson, right? Would you like to hear about my sex life with Dawson?” I smartly asked Deidra.

“No. I want you to sit there and listen without talking. I was afraid this was eventually going to happen. You’re the one that insisted on couples therapy, Morgan. I told you it may be better if Drew and I worked alone for a while, remember? You said, no, you wanted to hear it and you could handle it. Do you want to stop?” Deidra asked.

“No,” I pouted, purposely not looking at my cheating ass husband.

And that is how the entire hour was spent. I got to listen to how my husband was head over heels in love with Skyler, how he fucked Valerie on the side because Skyler really wasn’t into the same things that Valerie was. She was more of a pillow princess; lay there and let Drew do the work in the most refined way possible. Nonetheless, Drew was in love with her. Drew was in love with her while I was being kept at his house.

I’m not sure why that hurt or bothered me so much, but it did. It was dumb. I hated Drew then. I could have easily pissed on his grave as well back then. It wasn’t like we were in love or anything. I guess just thinking about him being in love with her and using me for his sick, twisted sex needs pissed me off.

Chapter 9

“Are we really doing this? You’re not the one that’s supposed to act like this. I’m the bastard in this relationship,” Drew tried teasing as we pulled into the drive at Alicia’s.

“You think this is funny? I’m glad all of this is such a funny joke to you,” I angrily spouted.

“Morgan, stop being like this. We’re supposed to be moving forward not backwards, remember?”

“And how do you suggest we do that when we keep going back there? What’s going to happen next week when it’s time to start talking about us? Are we going to tell her how you bought me, how you locked me in the gym, beat the hell out of me whenever you felt like it? Are we going to tell her how fucked up our sex life is? Huh, Drew? Are we going to let her in on all our little secrets, pull out the skeletons?”

“Yes, Morgan. We are. I’m not paying her twelve thousand dollars a month to lie to her. This was your idea, not mine.”

“Maybe you’re not paying her anything, maybe I am,” I quietly replied, getting out of the car to get Nicholas from Alicia. Drew didn’t move. He stayed in the car while I ran to get Nick.

“I thought you’d stay for a little while. I’m bored out of my mind here. Let’s go have lunch or coffee, something, anything,” Alicia begged.

“We will tomorrow,” I promised. “Drew and I are having our normal Thursday argument. I’m beginning to hate Thursdays with a passion.”

“Morgan, are you okay to go home alone with him?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Does he hit you often?”

“Where’s his blanket? We’re not discussing this,” I asked, looking around for Nicky’s favorite blanket.

“It’s in the diaper bag. I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be, Alicia. I’m fine, I promise. I learned to handle Drew a long time ago. I’ll call you later. We’ll do lunch tomorrow.”

Drew did get out of the car, took his son from my arms, and placed him in his seat, talking to him like he hadn’t seen him in months. I ignored him, getting in the passenger seat.

“I need to go to the store. Will you take me so you can sit in the car with Nicky,” I asked, still pouting.

“We need to hire someone, Morgan.”

“Forget it, Drew, just go home. I’ll go myself.”

“What is your problem? I will take you to the store. I never said I wouldn’t take you to the store. I’m hiring someone to take care of meals and Nicholas. If you want to act like a bitch and not be involved in the process then so be it. I’m hiring someone.

That was how the entire day went. Drew walked around the grocery store with me, carrying Nick, and then went to his office with Celeste when we got home. I made supper, ate, fed and bathed Nicholas before she ever left for the night.

Nicholas was down for the evening, and I was soaking in a tub of water when Drew came in. He stared at me and undressed without a word.

“Move up,” he ordered.

I didn’t want him in there with me. I was there trying to relax, not get stressed out again.

Okay, maybe it did feel good to be in his arms, leaning against his hard chest, but I was still mad. I just didn’t know what I was mad at, a lot of things, I guess.

“I should move in with Alicia and let Celeste live with you.” I sulked.

Drew snickered, kissing my head. “Let’s talk.”

“About what?”

“About Skyler.”

“Why would I want to talk about Skyler? And we’re not supposed to talk about anything away from Deidra.”

“That’s because she is afraid of me getting angry and hitting you. I’m not angry and I’m not going to hit you. We won’t tell her. It’s obvious Skyler is what has you so upset.”

“I just hated hearing you talk about how in love with her you were. I was here and you were spending time with her when you were away, weren’t you, Drew?”

“Turn around,” Drew requested.

I spun in the water and placed my legs over his.

“You’re so beautiful,” Drew quietly said, staring into my eyes.

“But not as beautiful as Skyler.”

“You’re way more beautiful than Skyler ever was. What do you want to know? Ask me anything.”

“Did you take her virginity too?”

“No, I was her second.”

“How long did you see her when we were together?

“A long time.”

“What does that mean?”

“I kept you hidden from her for almost six months. I thought Callaway would have been dead by then. He insisted that I bring you to, hmmm,” he paused, “I don’t even remember what it was.”

“It was a benefit banquet. I remember,” I reminded him.

“Okay, I had to tell her about you that night. She was pissed and couldn’t believe that I married you. Of course when I offered to walk away from the money, her tune changed. I offered to divorce you, walk away, get a real job, and maybe rent an apartment or something. She didn’t want me without the money.”

“Did she know that you had sex with me?”

“No, she wouldn’t have understood that. I told you today, Skyler wasn’t really into sex.”

“When did you stop seeing her?”

“When I started to fall in love with you.”

“That wasn’t until I didn’t know who I was.”

“No. That’s where you’re wrong. I was falling in love with you almost immediately, I think.”

“You hated me,” I point blank reminded him.

“I did hate you. I hated that you were messing everything up for me. I was supposed to get all of this myself with Skyler. You weren’t supposed to be here. But, I didn’t hate you for long. Do you know I spent hours watching you?”

“What do you mean?”

“When I was away or even here in my office, I watched you all the time. I couldn’t get enough of you. You amazed me.”

I snorted and looked into his lying eyes.

“I’m serious. No matter what I did to you, I couldn’t break you. Your spirit returned as soon as I was out of the picture. I used to love watching you read those stupid scary books. It made me laugh when you’d sit up, panicked at what was going on in your books. I loved it even more when I made you read the books that I downloaded on the e-reader for you. I couldn’t wait to get home and take care of the twist in your hips for you.”

“You never did that. You wouldn’t let me come, remember?”

“I did sometimes.”

“Whatever, get back to Skyler. You sucked at letting me come. You used it as a form of punishment.”

“Even when I would sneak Skyler with me on trips, I watched you. One of my favorite things to do was watch you in the kitchen with Rebecca. Where you could be so silly. It made me smile. Knowing you were that strong, that no matter what I did to you, you could still do that and love life, made me appreciate you. I got to a point where I had to get alone to see you before I could touch Skyler. She didn’t do for me what you did.”

“Because you didn’t force her to do it.”

“Maybe, but the fact still remains, I was falling for you for a very long time. You can’t tell me you didn’t know that. We had moments, you know we did. What about Callaway’s birthday? Remember that night, Morgan?”

I smiled, remembering the night he was speaking of. “We both got drunk that night. We were dancing and making out on the floor in front of everyone. We made love in the driveway before we ever made it in the house, and then again in your bed. You held me in your arms that night and kissed me more than you ever had before.”

“We made love in the car because you boldly raised your dress and straddled me in the front seat. That was the first and only time I remember you ever taking the control.”

“You have a hard time handing over control.”

“I do. Please don’t ever think Skyler could come close to the way I feel about you. I have been over her for a very long time.”

“Was that the last time you were with her?”

“No, I was with her on and off for quite some time and then after you left me for a bit. Not long, it wasn’t the same as it was before. I didn’t love her at all. I wanted you.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been a bitch all day.”

“It’s okay. I’m sure I’ll be a bitch when you start talking about that low life Dawson.”

“I’m sure of that too, but in Dawson’s defense. He was never anything but good to me.”

“Yeah, he was fucking your best friend on the side. He was quite loyal to you.”

“Shut up. You don’t know anything about that. He spent months alone with her, looking for me. I’m sure he fought it as much as she did.”

“Yeah, come on let’s get out of the tub. I have to punish you for being a bitch all day.”

“That might make me be a bitch tomorrow too,” I warned with a teasing smile.

“Then I will have to punish you tomorrow too. You have to go meet that auctioneer at Callaway’s tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know. Are you keeping little man?”

“Yes, but I’m serious about hiring someone.”

“Okay, but I just want Marta back. I don’t trust anyone else.”

“You know I can see everything that goes on in this house. If I don’t like the way she is with my son, she won’t be here for long.”

***

I didn’t like any of the nannies that came for an interview. They didn’t act like Marta at all. They were serious, there to do a job. Marta didn’t mind sitting on the floor, playing with my little guy. She loved him. These girls didn’t.

“You seriously don’t like any of them?” Drew asked after the last one had left.

I turned Nicholas to face me. “No, we didn’t, did we, Nicky? Nicky says no. Sorry,” I teased being a smart ass, bouncing Nicholas up and down on my lap.

“You’re impossible sometimes. You do know that, don’t you?”

Chapter 10

I spent the next two Thursdays learning more about the relationship my husband had with Skyler and trying not to be mad about it. I had no right to be upset over that. I hated him then, most of the time, anyway. I tried my best to keep my mouth shut and only listen to Drew as he described parts of his life I’d never known about, some, I didn’t want to know.

Drew took his position by the window, getting lost in his story. I wasn’t even sure he was aware that Deidra and I were even there this time. He was so engrossed in the details. I even pulled my feet underneath me, absorbed in his life like a good book. That’s what it felt like, like I was reading a really intense book while Drew described the death of my father.

Drew relayed his story calmly as always, “Randal sat beside me, looking to my mother. She stood over his coffin, sobbing uncontrollably. I didn’t understand it. How could she not be throwing a party, exultant over his death? I was. That bastard deserved the suffering that he had endured over the past few months.

‘I’m fine,’ I stated, looking over to Mr. Callaway. I remember him rubbing my shoulder with his hand. I wanted to shove it away. What was I supposed to say? Your son was a fucking bastard; he deserved everything he went through. It wasn’t necessary. Michael was dead. That was the important thing. He would never lay a finger on my mother or me again. I would never feel like a piece of shit because I couldn’t protect her again. I’d happily spend the fucker’s money for the rest of my life, taking care of both the women that I loved. Smiling over to my beautiful Skyler, she smiled back.”

My beautiful Skyler? Fuck your beautiful Skyler, I thought, fuming.

“I wanted to go to her, stand by her, and accept support from her rather than Mr. Callaway. I couldn’t. Mr. Callaway wouldn’t hear of it. Mr. Callaway couldn’t stand her mother and would insist that I didn’t spend one penny of his or Michael’s money on her. I would. I didn’t care about either of their fucked up orders. I loved her and would spend the rest of my life taking care of her. Or so I thought.” Drew smiled, turning to look at me.

I smiled a warm smile back, urging him to continue.

He did. He turned back to face the dirty alley and continued, “It was killing me to see my mother so hurt, so distraught and acting like a crazy person. Smiling over to Mr. Callaway, I got up and made my way to my mother, dropping to the ground on her knees as the coffin was being lowered, and Michael Callaway was being laid to rest, soon to rot in the ground where he belonged.”

I got a cold chill thinking about Drew’s mom, throwing herself to the ground as she said goodbye to the man who she probably shouldn’t have loved. I wondered about her. She and I had a lot in common.

“Michael’s cancer doctor and friend gave my mother a couple Valium once we were in the backseat of the limo. By the time we made it back to the mansion she was comatose, staring blankly into space. A nurse was ordered by Mr. Callaway to stay with her through the night. I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to go back to the city, to my own apartment where I’d left Skyler, open up a bottle of something one hundred proof in alcohol and get very intoxicated. I, however, didn’t leave her. I stayed, knowing she needed me. I hated the mansion that would be left to me when my mother died at a ripe old age. There were just too many memories that I wanted to forget. I’d probably never live there again. Hell, I wanted to burn the place to the ground,” Drew said, resentment lacing his tone.

Drew hated the mansion? Why hadn’t I seen this? We needed to move from there. Maybe that would help him forget Michael and things that had gone on there that I was sure I didn’t even know the half of.

“I asked the nurse to leave us once she had my mother in her fancy satin night clothes snuggled in bed. The nurse smiled, nodded, and left me alone with my mother. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I placed my mother’s frail hand in mine. ‘You know how much I love you, right?’

My mother smiled up at me.

‘Yes, mom. It’ll be okay. We’ll be fine,’ I reassured her.

‘Andrew, listen to Mr. Callaway, learn from him.’

I frowned, wondering if she’d been given too much Valium.

‘I mean it, Andrew. This will all be yours. Mr. Callaway will leave it all to you. I’m sure of it. Learn from him, learn to run this company even better than Michael did.’

‘Mom, Michael has been teaching me to run this company since I was ten. I’m not worried about that, and this will all be yours before it’s mine. I’m okay with that. You’re going to get through this and find a man that loves and respects you.’

She was right quick to stand up for him, she always was. I’d never understand it. ‘Michael did love me,’ she protested with a stern voice.

I weakly smiled down at her, feeling pity. ‘You get some rest,’ I coaxed, not wanting to get into how Michael loved her. It was pointless, and I would never understand it. I opened the door to Michael’s office and stood there, staring at the dark mahogany desk as memories flooded my mind. I stood there thinking about being ten. It was my first summer living there. I had burst into the office, excited to tell Michael about the stupid infomercial I’d been watching. He could buy diamond rings for a cheap price and sell them in his stores for more. I know now how dumb that was, but at ten, I thought it would be a great arrangement. I froze when I saw the belt in his hand and my mother lying naked over his desk.”

Oh, my god. Michael treated Drew’s mother the way he treated me. This was making more and more sense by the minute.

“Michael screamed for me to get out. I’ll never forget the look on my mother’s face as I stood there contemplating what I should do.  Her expression held something between shame and humiliation as she too told me to leave the office, yet she was upstairs crying her eyes out because he was gone.” Drew shook his head like he was still trying to understand his mother. He turned and asked Deidra for a drink.

She filled his glass and left the bottle beside him on the windowsill.

He filled his glass often and I knew I’d be driving home. I kept quiet and listened, only speaking to myself, here and there.

Drew continued, “I walked to Michael’s liquor cabinet, not understanding how she could be so disturbed over his passing. Pouring a full glass of vodka, I sat in his leather chair, propped my feet on his desk and toasted the portrait of him and my mother hanging on the other side of the room.”

Portrait? I’ve never seen that portrait. I had never seen a picture at all until the day I saw it on her headstone.

“I boasted to the cold hearted bastard staring back at me in the portrait, ‘Here’s to you, you fuck face. I hope the maggots are eating your eyes out.’ Then I answered a call from Mr. Callaway. He asked how my mother was doing, like he gave a shit. ‘She’s holding her own,’ I told him.

‘Good, good, she’ll be fine. Don’t worry. Can you come by my office tomorrow? There’s something I’d like to discuss with you,’ Callaway informed me.

‘Yeah, sure,’ I replied, not really wanting to dive into Callaway Jewels right away. Couldn’t I have a couple of days to mourn the death of his fucked up son? Although I didn’t think Mr. Callaway was anywhere near the ass that his son was, he still wasn’t my favorite person to be around. Power, that’s all the Callaway’s cared about, the more the better. Mr. Callaway demanded respect, and he got it. Everyone within twenty feet bowed down to the old fucker, including me.

I called Skyler after talking to Randal.

‘Hi, are you okay?’ Skyler asked, picking up on the first ring.

‘Yeah, I’m okay. I wish I could be there with you,’ I honestly told her.

‘You will be. Take care of your mother first.’ Skyler offered.  That was pretty messed up too. Skyler didn’t give a shit about my mother. She never did,” Drew said, turning to look at me again.

I didn’t reply. I got the look from Deidra again.

“I told Skyler I’ll be there tomorrow. I needed to get out of that house. I hated that fucking place.

‘I love that house. I was hoping we’d live in it, you know, if your mom decides not to live in the house,’ was Skyler’s reaction.

Stunned by her answer, I asked her, ‘Why would my mother not live here?’

Skyler hesitantly replied, ‘I don’t know. I just meant, like the memories and all. I’m not sure I could live there after my husband died.’

I assured her he wasn’t her husband. She didn’t know shit about anything. If she did, I was sure she too would have been running for the hills as far away from me as she could get.

‘Don’t get mad at me. I’m sorry. I’m just saying, I love that house, and we could do a lot with it after we’re married. I’m glad Michael is gone,’ Skyler confessed.”

You will never touch MY house, you slimy little slut.

Telling every aspect, Drew kept talking, “I told Sky I would talk to her tomorrow. I was kind of tired.

‘Okay, I love you, Drew,’ she said.

‘Love you too,’ I mumbled and hung up.”

“Really, Drew? You can leave some stuff out,” I chimed in.

“Morgan,” Deidra chastised.

“Well, it’s the truth. He doesn’t have to mention the two of them saying how much they’re in love,” I complained.

“Morgan, I loved her this much,” Drew said, holding his thumb and finger a quarter inch apart. “I love you to the moon and back.”

“Can we continue now?” Deidra asked, giving me a look to shut the hell up. I crossed my arms and leaned back, waiting to hear more of how much my husband loved Skyler. I couldn’t wait.

Drew carried on, “I woke with a headache from hell, slumped in the office chair. Rubbing my face and eyes, I called, ‘Come in,’ when I heard the tap on the door. The nurse came into view and told me my mother was sleeping, she was heading out, and to call her when she was needed. ‘I will. Thank you for staying with her.’ I nodded, dismissing her. Flipping on the desk computer, I clicked the camera button, studying the empty rooms in the house. One by one I added them to the screen, starting with the kitchen, the living area, the den, and then Michael’s room. He never did share a room with my mother. She had her own living quarters upstairs and he only visited when he needed her.”

Humph, imagine that.

“Clicking on my mother’s room to check on her before going to find some much needed coffee, I froze. I couldn’t move fast enough. There was absolutely nothing I could do, but watch.”

Oh, my god. I didn’t know he watched.

Drew confirmed what I suspected he saw. “I screamed, ‘NOOO,’ to the top of my lungs as I watched my mother’s shaking finger pull the trigger.”

I wanted to go to Drew, immediately. I wanted to hold him and tell him that I loved him, and I’d always be there for him. I didn’t move. I was in shock and Deidra moved to the edge of her seat, placed her hand on my knee in a comforting fashion and smiled, giving me the look not to talk and to stay seated. I swear that woman could read my thoughts.

“I never went to her room,” Drew said whisper soft.

I covered my mouth with my hand and listened to his voice change, become sadder, and a little distant.

“I didn’t have to go to her room. I saw it all with my own eyes. Knowing what the scene would be had I tried to save her, I refrained and only watched the zipped body bag, being wheeled out twenty nine minutes later. Yes. That was all Michael Callaway’s fault too,” Drew decided with narrowed eyes directed right at me. “Wishing I could dig him up and kill him all over again, I slammed the office door, and gave his office a new makeover. I broke everything in sight, cleared his desk with one swipe of my arm and put my fist through his face, hanging on the wall.”

Deidra squeezed my leg harder, feeling me tense, fighting the urge to go to Drew.

“Four days after I sat in the same chair next to Mr. Callaway, burying his son, I sat again, burying my mother while Mr. Callaway explained, ‘I know things are pretty rotten right now, but we still need to have that talk. There’s something that I need you to take care of.’

My mother was being laid to rest and he wanted me to take care of something,” Drew snorted, taking a gulp of his drink before continuing, “I replied Callaway in a monotone voice, ‘Yeah, I’m sure I can do that.’  My mother was lying in a fucking coffin. She’d just blown her head off because of his son, and he wanted to talk about Callaway Jewels. Un-fucking-believable. I stood and walked across the dry grass toward my car alone. I needed to get out of there.

‘Hey man, I don’t really know what to say. I’m sorry, dude.’ Derik said.

‘Don’t worry about it, Derik. Take care of business for the next couple days. That’s all you can do. I’m going to get fucked up,’ I bluntly let my friend and assistant know my plans.”

I cringed at the mention of Derik’s name. I still hated him.

“Derik said, ‘Okay, don’t worry about a thing, I got this, dude.’

‘Do you think maybe you could act like a professional? Maybe stop using man and dude? You’re not sweeping floors in some lunch room,’ I reminded Derik, sliding behind the wheel of my new black Porsche, complements of Michael fucking Callaway. I was test driving that car before Michael ever took his last breath. I never went back to the estate. I went to my own high rise mansion overlooking the Las Vegas strip. I wasn’t sure I’d ever go back there, not if I had anything to do with it.

‘Sky! You here?’ I called when arriving at the empty apartment, and then dialed her number.

‘Hey,’ she finally answered after the fourth ring. ‘Where are you?’ I was pissed she wasn’t there waiting for me.

‘With Jena, we’re getting our nails done. Where are you?’ she plainly asked.

‘Oh, just at the apartment. You do know that I just buried my mother, right? Thought maybe you’d be here, that you’d want to be here for me or some shit,’ I smartly stated through the phone.

‘Drew, I’m not going to be gone that long. I’ll be there shortly. Stop being a baby,’ she said, and just like that she hung up.

Stop being a baby? I shook my head and dropped my phone to the sofa, letting her words reverberate in my head. You would have never said something like that, Morgan, especially under the circumstances,” Drew said, turning to me again.

I only smiled back, not sure what to say. I didn’t even know what I was going to say to him once we were alone. I was speechless. He watched his mother shoot herself. How could anyone be normal after that?

“I think that’s enough for one day. You’re doing just fine, Drew. Baby steps, okay?” Deidra advised.

I was sure she didn’t want him going too deep too fast, but how much worse could it get?

“I don’t need you to treat me like some poor little boy that needs your pity. I don’t need your pity or anyone else’s,” Drew angrily spoke, slamming his empty glass to the tabletop.

“Hmm, I do think you need some time to yourself. I think maybe you should take a cab, go work at your downtown office for a while,” Deidra suggested.

I didn’t want that. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to pity him and love him. I didn’t want him to be alone.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. You okay to go home by yourself?” Drew asked, looking at me.

“Deidra, can we have a minute?” I asked. I didn’t want to go home alone. I wasn’t afraid of Drew.

“Morgan, just go get Nicholas and go home, please,” Drew begged when Deidra left us, and I went to him.

“I don’t want you to be alone.” I worried, leaning into him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my forehead.

“I need you to. I need to not be around you right now. I’m too angry. Please just go home and give me some time.”

“Okay,” I reluctantly agreed. He knew his tolerance more than I did, and I assumed he realized it was a bad idea to be alone with me. I should have been grateful that he recognized that beforehand. I wasn’t, and I wanted to be with him.

Chapter 11

Drew never touched me that night. He actually came home in an appreciative mood, being very attentive to me and baby Nick. We laughed and played with our son on the floor of his enormous room. He was so smart for being under one year old. Drew built a tower out of the plastic blocks and Nicholas would sit, patiently waiting to knock it down and then giggle. I loved his little laugh. The angels in heaven stopped to listen when Nicky laughed.

We finally agreed on a nanny, Melissa. She lasted a week before I didn’t want her there anymore. We’d already agreed that she didn’t need to spend the night and would leave after preparing our evening meals. She wasn’t as good with Nicholas the way Marta was and treated him like a job. Not to mention, I wasn’t too keen on the way she stared at my husband either. So we fired her.

“Just let me call Marta,” I begged. I wanted Marta back.

“No, Morgan. She quit. I’m not hiring her back. We should have kept Melissa.”

“Melissa couldn’t cook, and she wasn’t happy to be with your son. Marta’s eyes lit up at the sight of him. Please, Drew. If she says no, I’ll let it go.”

“You make me crazy. I’ll call her later. Now get out of here before I bend you over my desk and beat your ass, I have work to do.”

“Can you do that later?” I teased, kissing his warm lips.

“I can definitely do that later. Get out of here,” he warned, smacking my ass.

***

“How many more times do we have to do this?” Drew complained as we dressed to meet Deidra for our Thursday meeting.

“I don’t know. Until Deidra thinks we’re cured, I guess.”

Drew walked behind me, glancing at my reflection in the mirror.

“We don’t have time for that,” I assured him, feeling his half-mast hardness on my ass.

“Yes, we do. You can’t walk around in your dainty little underclothes and expect me not to want to stick it in you.”

I laughed. “You’re so romantic.”

I laughed again when Drew reached to the side of the marble countertop, pulled out a fake pink rose and hand it to me. “Now can I stick it in you? You owe me.”

I turned to him, feeling the sensation in my pussy, wanting him too. “I owe you for what?” I asked in low sexy tone, kissing his solid chest.

“I got Marta back, remember?”

“You love Marta too,” I accused. He did love Marta, he just didn’t love her sticking her nose where it didn’t belong.

“Take your panties off,” he whispered, sucking hard on my neck.

I slid out of my panties and lifted myself to the counter. He stepped away. He always did that. I hated and loved it at the same time. I hated exposing myself to him like that, but loved the look in his eyes when he looked at me.

“Drew, we don’t have time for foreplay. Are we doing this or not?” I complained. We should have already been in the car.

Drew removed himself and rubbed the tip of his head up my slippery, oh so wet pussy a few times before sliding it into me. Once he started circling my clit with his thumb, I was spent, calling out in a moan. Drew moaned next, pulled me to the floor in front of him and fucked my mouth, draining himself in my mouth and around my lips.

***

“I was beginning to think you two were ditching me today,” Deidra spoke, leading us to her office.

I was a little nervous about this session. I knew we’d be getting into the time Drew and I first met. We hadn’t discussed what we would say. Did Drew plan on telling the truth? Would he tell her that he bought me to be his wife with my own money? I was right. We had barely even sat when Deidra asked the question I knew we were going to talk about.

“Tell me about meeting Morgan,” Deidra requested from Drew and not me.

Of course Drew got up, walked to the window, and poured a drink from the bottle that Deidra already had out for him. “Well, I learned about Morgan the day after I buried my mother. I got pretty drunk the night before, sitting out on the balcony alone, sulking.”

I couldn’t believe that his so called girlfriend wasn’t with him.

“By ten at night the inspiring city lights started to be nothing but a blur as I drank vodka, trying to make sense of a fucked up mess. There was no way my life could get anymore fucked up. That had to be it. Michael Callaway couldn’t possibly do anymore. He took my mother when I was ten and he took her again when I was twenty four, this time for good,” Drew sadly explained.

My heart already ached for him and he’d just begun.

“I woke to the ringing of my phone, slumped in a drunken stupor in a lounge chair on the rooftop, overlooking the Vegas strip. ‘Yeah?’ I answered, sitting up and rubbing the ache in my sore neck.

‘Is this Mr. Kelley?’

‘Yes it is, but if you don’t mind could you call the office. I’m dealing with some personal issues and will not be in today. Leave a message with Lois and I will get back with you,’ I tried. I really didn’t want to deal with work, wasn’t sure I ever would, not the way I felt at the moment anyway,” Drew admitted, glancing my way.

Drew resumed, “The caller did catch my attention.

‘Mr. Kelly, this is Spring Valley Medical Center. We have you down as next of kin for Randal Callaway.’

I stood, running my fingers through my hair. Now what? This could not be happening, I thought. My life couldn’t possibly go anymore south than it had over the last week. ‘Okay,’ I coaxed.

‘Mr. Callaway had a stroke early this morning. We need you to come down as soon as possible.’

‘Is he okay?’ I inquired.

‘He’s hanging in there.’

‘I’ll be there as soon as I can.’ I’m sure it was a little facetious of me, no, it was a lot morbid of me, but I smiled full of excitement. Clicking my heals in a motivated jump, I entered the house to shower, overjoyed with the thought of both the Callaways being out of my life and leaving me so much money. Taking my time, I showered, had my new Porsche delivered to my door, and even stopped off at Pipers Bakery for a bagel and fresh cup of coffee.

Putting on my serious, remorseful expression, I walked through the double doors of the hospital, ready to receive the unfortunate news of the dying Randal Callaway. I sure would miss him and his fuck face son. Once again, I had to stifle a smirk. Be somber, Drew, I warned myself as I asked where I could find Mr. Callaway.”

Hmmm, Drew was a very good story teller. I felt like I was right there, living the events as he told them. Deidra didn’t look fazed a bit. I was sure she’d heard some pretty intense stories, doing what she did.

“He really did look like death. The right side of his face drooped, his breathing was being controlled by oxygen, and he was wired to more noise making machines than I could count. I never spoke to him that day, he never woke up. I did, however, play the role and continued to stop by for the next three days, never seeing an improvement. That made me very happy. ‘How is he?’ I smiled a flirtatious smile to the familiar nurse.

‘Much better, he’s awake,’ she flirted back.

My smile instantly vanished, and I frowned, noticing Warren Fitch exiting the building. What the heck was he doing there? Mr. Callaway told me that he’d had his will changed the day after Michael was buried. Shaking my head as I realized what was going on, I entered his room. Of course everything was left to my mother, and now, well, he was there to sign everything over to me. Lucky me, I thought. ‘How are you?’ I asked, pretending to give a shit. He did look better, although his face still drooped on the one side. He was sitting up and his right arm lay dead, palm side up in an awkward position in his lap.”

Drew described like it was yesterday. His attention to the detail surprised me a little, not that I was complaining. I wasn’t at all. It intensified the things he was saying leading up to meeting me.

“Mr. Callaway ordered me to sit down. I sat with a scowl, barely understanding what he’d said due to the slur in his speech. He nodded to his personal nurse. ‘Hand me that folder,’ He signaled, struggling to speak. Mr. Callaway never told me to come to him or to stand. I moved to his side, needing to see what he had. Positive it was the new will, leaving everything to none other than me; every last dime. He nodded towards the door, excusing the lady.

‘We can do this another time. Let’s wait until you’re feeling better,’ I pleasantly and sympathetically offered. I didn’t need to know how rich I was going to be right that second. It could wait. Mr. Callaway opened the manila folder and pulled out a picture. I frowned, looking at the dark haired girl, maybe sixteen years old. Moving my eyes to his, I waited for an explanation.”

The picture was me, I was sure of it before Drew even said so. I wonder where it is now.

“Then Callaway stunned me with his words, ‘This is my granddaughter,’ he said, smiling at the girl in the photo,” Drew said while turning to smile at me.

I smiled back with an increase speed of my heart.

“I told Callaway, ‘Granddaughter? I think you need to rest.’ I knew he didn’t have a granddaughter. He had one son, Michael, and he was dead. I was sure the old fucktard was delusional.

‘I wanted to tell you a few days ago. Things have been a little crazy around here this past week. Michael told me about her the day he passed. He’s never taken care of her. Look how she’s been forced to live,’ he said, sliding the photos clumsily to the side.

I grimaced, inspecting the photos of the girl who looked like welfare scum. She was welfare scum. Somebody was after his money, my money, it was all a scam.”

“I am not welfare scum,” I had to spit out.

“I know you’re not, love. I’m telling a story from eleven years ago, okay?”

“Okay, sorry,” I apologized, trying to tell myself how long ago this was, and he was only describing how he saw things. I needed to calm down and let him talk.

Drew began again, “So I told Mr. Callaway, ‘With all due respect, I think this is some sort of a hoax. I’ve lived with Michael since I was twelve. We’ve worked side by side for the past ten years. I’m sure I would have known this.’

She’s his. He was sure. His thumb brushed over the girls face while the expression on his own looked sorry, or upset that she was there,” Drew explained like he was talking about someone other than me, or like I wasn’t even there.

“Callaway was adamant. ‘Look at her hair. Look how there are no curls except at the bottom. That’s a Callaway trait. Look at her eyes. Those are Callaway eyes,’ he said.” Drew sternly mimicked Mr. Callaway.

I smiled at his acting ability.

Drew continued, “I thought it was absurd. So what if the girl had green eyes. Lots of people had green eyes. ‘Where did you get these photos?’ I wanted to know.

‘I sent Walker there to get them for me. I wanted you to go, but after a series of unfortunate events, I sent him. You’re going there now.’

Confused, I asked him, ‘Going where?’

‘You’re going to West Virginia, I want her mother to go away.’

I was sure his stroke had gone straight to his head. He was insane. I wasn’t going to West Virginia.” Drew laughed a little recollecting that day. “Shocked, I hesitantly asked, ‘You want me to kill the mother?’

‘No, I don’t want you to kill anyone. I want you to offer her money. See this? This is her little brother. He doesn’t belong to Michael, but I’m willing to take him too. I would feel horrible for leaving the boy in that situation.’

I looked down at the little boy maybe four of five years old. Nothing, I wasn’t feeling the sorrow for the family that he was feeling. I wasn’t going anywhere near that place.”

The mention of Justin made my chest heavy, causing me to hate Drew—again. He could have taken him. Justin could have lived at the mansion with me. Pulling my thoughts away from my little brother, I turned back to Drew, continuing to relive that time in his life.

“Callaway began telling me, ‘Her name’s Morgan. Isn’t that a lovely name?’ he asked with some sort of nostalgic smile, gazing down at the girl in the photo like he missed her or something. He didn’t even fucking know her. I felt like I needed to sit down.”

“Drew, you’re talking about me. Stop saying that girl,” I demanded, getting angry. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t help the nostalgia that I now felt with the mentioning of Justin, and him calling me that girl, was pissing me off. I was sitting right there.

“You were that girl then. Do you want me to stop?”

“No, go ahead,” I pouted with a wave of my hand for him to continue.

Drew continued in Callaway’s voice again, “I informed Callaway that this lady was not going to sell her kids. ‘This is absurd. She’s probably just after your money. Stay away from them,’ I ordered, sure that someone was playing a dirty trick on him, wanting my money.”

“You mean my money,” I spat out. I couldn’t help it.

Drew gave me a dirty look right after Deidra did, and continued, “Callaway started yelling then, ‘She doesn’t know I EXIST,’ getting angry with me.

‘This is crazy. What do you want me to do?’

‘I want you to go there, offer the stupid bitch enough money to go start a new life, get her out of there and away from those kids.’

‘And the kids?’ I asked, this idiot was delusional. He wasn’t making a bit of sense, I thought.

‘You’re going to bring them here, but not yet.’

‘Bring them here?’

‘Yes, Morgan is going to graduate in a few months. I don’t want to disrupt her last year of school. She probably has friends and proms and stuff,’ Callaway said to me.”

I snorted.

Deidra interjected Drew’s story, “Do you have something to say, Morgan? I think maybe you should be involved a little more here. Why did you just snort when Drew mentioned your school?”

“Nothing, it’s just that I didn’t really have that kind of school,” I replied.

“What do you mean?” Deidra asked.

Drew turned and leaned against the windowsill to listen to what I had to say.

“I didn’t go to dances or proms. I didn’t really have friends.”

“None?” Drew asked, like he was surprised that I’d never gone to school dances or anything. I wasn’t really that type of girl.

“Not really. My cousin Stacy, I guess, and I had a friend, Julie, but she got pregnant in the ninth grade, and we didn’t really hang out after that.”

“Boyfriends?”

“No, I wasn’t really the pretty girl at school. Kids either made fun of my clothes and shoes, or ignored me altogether. Can we just get back to the story?” I asked, wanting the focus off me and back on Drew.

“Drew?” Deidra nodded for him to continue.

“I tried to tell Callaway that I had business to tend to, that I didn’t have time to be dealing with a couple of inbred hillbillies from West Virginia—No offense, baby,” Drew quickly added. “I couldn’t believe Mr. Callaway was serious about this. I thought he was going to add a heart attack to his stroke.

He sat up with a look of pure vengeance. ‘That inbred hillbilly is my granddaughter, and furthermore, she has my blood running through her veins. YOU DON’T!’ he kindly reminded me with a yell which in turn caused his personal nurse to rush in.

‘Mr. Callaway, please calm down. You can’t be getting yourself all worked up like this,’ she pleaded with him, rubbing his arm and glaring at me with warning. ‘I’m fine,’ he assured her, patting her hand. Please leave us. We’re just about finished here.’

I gave in, ‘Fine, what do you want me to do? I’d do whatever he was babbling on and on about just to put this shit behind me.

‘I want you to marry Morgan and take care of Justin,’ Callaway stated.”

Now I was pissed all over again at Drew. I knew he said it was all him, he was the one that didn’t want to take Justin, but hearing him say that Callaway was willing to bring him there too, infuriated me to a point of boiling over. Bouncing my knee in effort to keep calm and rid angry energy, I turned back to Drew, biting my bottom lip to keep quiet.

“I sat down on that note. He was beyond crazy. Planting myself in a chair, I assured him I was not going to marry some girl I’d never even met. ‘I’m not going to marry that girl. You just said she wasn’t even eighteen yet.’ I sighed.

‘And you’re only twenty four. She’ll be eighteen before you bring her here.’

‘Mr. Callaway, sir, I am not going to marry this girl. I don’t even know her. She’s not going to want to marry me. This is ridiculous.’

‘Fine, you can see yourself out.’

I stood, shaking my head. Hoping he’d be in his right mind after he rested a little. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ I said warily, making my way across the room.

‘Walker, seize Drew Kelley’s funds from my estate, have the locks changed on the mansion and his high-rise, and send someone to pick up his car from the hospital.’

Of course, I stopped dead in my tracks, listening to the one sided conversation. I turned to him with a frown, and he smiled the same smile that I’d seen on Michael’s face a million times. I wanted to drop kick him. ‘Hold off until I call you back,’ he lilted with a deviant, victorious smile. ‘Change of heart?’ he taunted me.

‘You can’t be serious about this?’ I asked him.

‘I am very serious. You bring my granddaughter back here and promise to take care of her for the rest of her life, and you will have an endless supply of good fortune.’

‘And if I don’t?’

‘You’ll have nothing. You’ll walk away with what you came with.’

‘I was ten.’

‘So you’ll leave with what you came with when you were ten. Surely you have some Pokémon cards or something?’

‘What do I do?’ I asked him, accepting my destiny, for now. I wasn’t planning on doing any of what he was suggesting. I was going to marry Skyler.

‘That’s my boy. First thing I want you to do is get rid of the mother. I’m going to send Walker there with you this week to offer her money. The sooner she goes away, the happier I’ll be. What kind of mother lets her children live this way? Callaway spat.”

That remark pissed me off too. The poor kind that the father doesn’t pay any child support to. Who was Callaway to judge my mother? I know she wasn’t the best mother growing up. I could judge her. He couldn’t, he didn’t have that right.

“Callaway continued, ‘She’s a very pretty girl, don’t you think?’

‘Yes, she is a very pretty girl. You are aware that I was getting ready to propose to Skyler. You were there when I picked out the ring,’ I reminded him.

‘And I told you to stay away from that family. Skyler is after my money. Skyler doesn’t care about anything but money. Everything in my will has been left to Morgan Willow, and unless you marry her and take care of her, you and Skyler can go live wherever you want, without my money,’ he threatened me.

‘You changed your will! Are you crazy? That girl has no idea what to do with that kind of money!’ It was crazy. The guy was a lunatic.

‘That is why you’re going to marry her, manage my money, and help her spend it. We clear here? I’m a little tired.’

‘Yeah, all clear,’ I caved, leaving him alone. I spent the next few days researching what I could about this family. There was nothing, nothing because the whole fucking family was nothing. The half ass dad was a lazy drunk, the mother worked at some whole in the ground truck stop, they lived in a dump, and had two kids that had been neglected their entire lives. That was the information I was able to acquire about or obtain about your family,” Drew said looking at me again.

I didn’t smile this time. I was feeling a little bitter about the whole situation.

Drew added, “No matter what I said, what I did, nothing was getting through to Mr. Callaway. He was insisting that I do this.”

Chapter 12

I was ready to go. I didn’t want to hear anymore. I’d been sitting there listening to Drew talk about how fucked up his life was, how he was being forced to bring home white trash.

“I went to West Virginia, and offered your mother a significant amount of money,” Drew continued.

“How much money?” I wanted to know for whatever reason.

“I don’t know, Morgan. Callaway had it in a sealed envelope. I never looked.”

I didn’t reply as he continued.

“What the fuck was I supposed to tell Skyler? That was the last thought before I drifted off to sleep in the plane after paying off your mother, hoping I would wake up and the nightmare would be over with. It wasn’t, far from it.”

I was the nightmare? Humph. Jerk.

“It was after midnight when I was let in by my doorman. I was tired and anxious to see Skyler. Keying in the door code, the apartment was dark. I toed off my dress shoes, wondering if Skyler had left. It was still a little early for her. Walking to the kitchen I popped a couple aspirin, swallowing them with a bottle of some sort of fancy sparkling water, something Skyler had bought, I was sure.”

Thanks asshole, glad to know Skyler bought water. It’s a very important part of the story. Actually, I was a little impressed that Skyler could buy water. I’d met her on several occasions. She was quite the air head, if you ask me.

“Her long blonde hair flowed to the side as she lay sleeping in my bed. I couldn’t help the twinge in my crotch, seeing her lying there with one leg cocked, giving me a perfect view of her black panties. Well, not really. It was dark, but I knew what was there.” Drew chuckled.

I didn’t find it a bit funny.

“Sitting on the side of the bed, I ran my hand up the back of her leg and to her glorious ass. She moaned.”

You fuckin bastard. Really?

“Rolling to her back she mumbled, ‘Hi.’

My hand grazed the satin of her panties as she turned.

‘Hey, beautiful,’ I spoke, running my thumb between her legs.

‘Drew, I’m tired. Can’t we do that tomorrow?’

‘You’re joking. I haven’t seen you in almost a week. I need to fuck you.’

‘Drew. Why do you have to talk like that? I’m not some cheap slut,’ Skyler retorted,” Drew whined like a girl, trying to imitate her.

I still didn’t think it was funny.

“I tried, moving in for a kiss. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘Oh, you stink. Go take a shower.’

I sighed and left her to shower. She wasn’t giving me any. I could tell.”

“Really, Drew? You felt the need to share this, why?” I asked, getting pissed—again.

Deidra gave me that look to let him talk again. I wanted to tell her off right about now too.

He ignored me and continued with his fucked up story, “My cellphone was ringing before I’d even woken the following morning. Looking to the right of me, Skyler was still there, I was tapping that before I did anything else,” Drew, like a dumb ass, pressed on.

I snorted, making him aware of my annoyance.

Drew just kept talking, “I answered making my way to the bathroom.

It was Derik, ‘What the fuck’s going on?’ he demanded to know.

‘I’ll tell you about it in a while. Meet me at store around ten.’

‘Is it bad? What the fuck, Drew?’

‘I don’t know how bad it is. It’s not good. I’ll see you in a little while,’ I said, hanging up on him, one of Michael’s influences. He never said goodbye. Michael would just hung up on people, whether they were finished talking or not. I liked doing it too, made me feel powerful like I’d thought him to be.”

I hated it when Drew did that. I don’t know how many times I’d ended up talking to myself because he’d hung up on me. I’m going to do it to him next time, I thought turning my attention back to his story. The one I really didn’t want to hear about.

“Sliding back under the covers I ran my hand over Skyler’s silky ass. She moaned and rolled over. “I missed you,’ I whispered to her neck. I didn’t kiss her lips, knowing she’d only complain about not brushing her teeth yet.

‘What time is it?’ she whined, rubbing her eyes.

‘Nine,’ I replied, moving my fingers between her legs. Of course she wasn’t into it and was dry. I played with her clit, pinching it between my fingers and massaging, trying to arouse her. Dipping back to her opening, it wasn’t working. She wasn’t turned on in the least. I didn’t give a fuck. I was fucking her before I left. She raised her hips and let me slide her panties over her hips. I slid into her dry sex, waiting for her to moisten. Pumping in and out of her, she did become a little wet.”

“You’re unbelievable,” I had to say. I couldn’t help it. Did he really need to add the sex scene? He was just being a bastard.

Ignoring me, Drew rambled on, “I moaned saying to Skyler, ‘Hmmm, you feel good,’ picking up speed.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him, looking right at me, like he was rubbing it in or something.

Drew, like the dick that he was, continued with his sexual relationship with Skyler. “I normally would have lasted about five minutes after not having sex for that long. I wasn’t finishing. I knew it was because Skyler wasn’t feeling it. She even yawned and looked at her nails once.”

Good, serves you right, fucker.

“Finally, after about fifteen minutes, I pulled out and shot my load all over her stomach and clit, but not before I fantasized about fucked up things I could do to her. I closed my eyes and imagined her bent over the bed and me forcing my dick in and out of her ass. That’s what made me come, the fucked up visualizations I was practicing in my head.”

Holy hell. I looked to Deidra for her reaction to Drew’s confession; she didn’t have one.

“Skyler complained, ‘Why do you have to do that? I’m on the pill. You’re so gross sometimes. Get off me, I want to shower,’ pushing me off and sliding from beneath me.

I watched her beautiful ass walk away, got up, and made my way to the other bathroom. I would have just jumped in the shower with Skyler, but she’d just nag. She hated it when I did that.”

Skyler was a prude. A bitch face prude.

Hearing Drew’s story, I didn’t want to do this anymore. I wanted to leave. We still had ten minutes. I didn’t need hear one more word about Skyler. Thank god he switched it up a bit.

Drew fast forwarded to his meeting with Derik. “Derik asked, ‘Why didn’t we just meet at the mansion?  Michael isn’t there anymore,’ as I unlocked the office door in one of the jewelry stores right down town Las Vegas.”

Okay, this is dumb. What was the whole point of the Skyler sex? I wondered.

“I assured Derik I hated that house. I’m going to burn it to the ground as soon as the other Mr. Fuck Face dies.

‘What’s the deal? Is he doing that bad?’

‘I don’t know. He doesn’t look to good. That’s not the problem.’

‘Yeah, I’ve kind of gathered that. What’s going on?’ Derik asked, pouring a drink from Mr. Callaway’s cabinet.

‘Derik, it’s ten in the morning,’ I bitched giving him hell.

‘So, you’re getting ready to tell me bad news. What is it?’ he asked, sitting and crossing his ankle over his knee.

‘He changed the will,’ I replied.

‘What do you mean? Of course he did. Your mom, god rest her soul, is no longer with us.’

‘He didn’t leave one penny to me.’

Derik sat straight up. ‘You’re joking. Who’d he leave it to? You’re the closest thing to family the old bastard has.’

‘Yeah, that’s what I thought. Apparently Michael had an illegitimate child almost eighteen years ago. Callaway is insisting that I will get nothing if I don’t marry her and take care of her for the rest of her life. If I divorce her, I get nothing.’

Derik’s eyes were as big as full moons. ‘Marry her? You can’t marry her. You’re marrying Skyler,’ he reminded me. ‘She’s already expecting it. Did you explain that to Callaway?’

‘He wouldn’t listen. He hates the Style family, you know that. He told me to go and to have a nice life. That’s not all. She’s got a five-year-old brother that he expects me to take in too. What the fuck am I supposed to do, Derik?’ I asked Derik, looking out the high rise window to the busy streets below.”

You should’ve jumped.

“Derik needed the money too. ‘Fuck. Drew. This is my livelihood. This is what I’ve been waiting on. You told me we had this in the bag. I actually spent ten grand on a necklace for Jena when I found out that Randal had a stroke. I don’t have that kind of money. What the hell are we going to do?’

‘I have no clue. I’ve already talked to Walker about it, trying to deem him crazy and sign me to be executive of his estate. He laughed at me. He knew about Morgan before Callaway told me.’

‘Morgan?’

‘Yeah, that’s the girl’s name.’

‘Is she cute?’

‘What the hell does that have to do with anything?’

‘Well, if you’re going to be forced to marry some chick at least she could be hot.’

‘She’s not hot, and I am not marrying her,’ I reminded Derik.”

Screw you, you’re not hot either.

“Derik asked, ‘What else are you going to do?’

‘FUCK!!! I don’t know. Jesus Christ this is crazy.’

‘Hey, Drew?’

I turned to look at Derik, hoping he had something.

‘How long you think Callaway has?’

‘What?’ I asked in a disbelieving tone. I was being forced to marry some fucking trailer park trash and he was worried about Mr. Callaway.”

Whoa, this guy is asking for it. He needed to take a cab to the other end of the state.

“Derik persisted, ‘How long?’

‘I don’t know. I give him six months at the most. Why?’

‘And when he goes, all his money and everything he owns goes to the Morgan girl?’ Derik inquired me.”

The Morgan girl? Really? This was a little too dramatic. Seriously?

“I replied, ‘Yes,’ with an impatient tone, wanting him to get on with it,” Drew explained, giving precise detail, like he was sitting right there with Derik.

I was going to be sick soon.

“Derik did have a plan. ‘What happens if something happens to Morgan once Callaway is gone?’

My eyebrows shot up with the notion of what he was saying. ‘You’re a fucking genius. I keep her locked away some place until Callaway joins his fucktard son and then gold digging Morgan has a horrible accident and joins the rest of her family. I fucking love it,’ I rejoiced, high fiving him. I could do this. I’d hire someone to keep an eye on her, put her up in the mansion, and continue my life in my apartment with Skyler. It was the perfect plan,” Drew said.

Her, is sitting right here, I wanted to remind my stupid son of a bitch of a husband.

“Derik probed, ‘What are you going to tell Skyler? She’s expecting a wedding.’

‘And she’ll get it. We tell her nothing. I can hide this shit for a few months. Once I’m a poor widow, I can marry Skyler and nobody finds out.’

‘Wait. What about the little brother?’

‘Fuck. I don’t know.’

‘When is this all supposed to happen?’

‘Four months.’

‘Wow, Drew. This is fucked up. You’re like being forced to marry someone or starve.’

I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair. I was being forced to marry someone, some stupid little cunt that I already hated.”

“That was a lovely story, can we go now?” I angrily spoke.

“Morgan, what has you so upset right now?” Deidra asked, standing and leaning against her desk.

She wasn’t fooling anyone. I’d learned from Drew a long time ago why people of power did that. They needed to tower down on their prey. It gave them power.

“Upset? I’m not upset, unless you’re talking about the fact that I just listened to my husband describe his sex life, explain why I haven’t seen my little brother since he was five, and the fact that I am only sitting here alive because Callaway didn’t die when Drew thought he would. Upset? Why would I be upset?”

“That’s fair. Don’t you think that’s fair, Drew?” she asked, turning to him. What the fuck? This was a conspiracy.

Drew raised his eyebrows, unsure what to say.

“How long were you able to keep Skyler from finding out?” she asked, looking at her watch. It had to be about over. I couldn’t take much more.

“I hid my new life plans from Skyler as best I could for as long as I could,” Drew explained not really answering the question, but continuing with his story.

I couldn’t believe it. Somebody needed to shut him up.

“Things were starting to progress and I was moving forward with what I thought was the best plan, not that I was given many options. The kid had to go first and—”

“The kid was my fucking brother, Drew. Justin Willow was my little brother. Can you understand that?” I yelled. I couldn’t help it. He was a pig, a down right, dirty pig.

“After talking to Mr. Callaway about why the boy should be adopted by a mother and father, I got the welfare system involved,” he continued, talking over me with a glare.

I didn’t care about his gaze of terror. He should have been the one that was afraid. I was that mad.

“It was easier and cheaper on my wallet to do it that way,” Drew continued without one bit of respect towards my feelings at all.

“Mr. Callaway already had a young family in mind. They’d been trying to have a child for years and had been on an adoption waiting list almost as long. It was perfect, and Justin Willow would be out of the system and in the loving hands of his new family. I wouldn’t have to worry about what to do with a five-year-old little brat. I was a fucking genius.”

You were a fucking idiot, still are. It was official, I hated Drew—again.

And then Drew had the nerve to mention Skyler again, “Skyler was an increasing problem. ‘Why do you have to go out of town again? You promised to take me clubbing this weekend,’ Skyler whined.”

“Oh hell no. We don’t need to go back to Skyler again,” I insisted. Now he was just being an ass.

“Morgan,” Deidra chastised, shaking her head.

Of course, take his side.

Drew pressed on, “I try to explain to Skyler to placate her, ‘I will next weekend. I have to go, Sky. I’m going to be gone a lot more now with Mr. Callaway out of commission. He’ll probably never work again.’ Removing my shirt, I took her in my arms.

‘Promise?’ she whined.

‘Yes,’ I assured, shoving my tongue down her throat, thrusting my already hard cock into her hips. Lifting her shirt over her head, I cupped her breasts in the palms of my hands and lowered my lips to her erect nipples. She moaned as I moved her towards the bed, laying her down. Running my finger up her slit, I smiled, happy that she was wet and aroused.”

I’m going to prison. I’m going to prison for murder, and my son will be raised by two mommies. I was going to kill him. I couldn’t believe he was going back here. What the fuck? He didn’t even care that Deidra was standing right fucking here.

Drew even added, “I asked, ‘You want me to lick your pussy?’ to Skyler.”

Un-fucking-believable.

“Skyler bellowed, sitting up, ‘Jesus, Drew. Why do you have to go and ruin it? Can’t you just do it? I hate it when you talk vulgar like that. I’m not some girl you picked up from the corner.’

‘I’m sorry. Stop it. Come here,’ I coaxed, pulling her back, moving my fingers back to her slit, hoping to regain the moment. She let me and I moved down, running my tongue up her pussy, paying careful attention to her pulsating nub. She writhed her hips below my mouth, accepting the pleasure that I was bringing to her.”

How fucking sweet, you’re so giving. Ass wipe.

“I tentatively touched her puckered hole. ‘Oh, my god, Drew. Just stop,’ Skyler protested.

‘It’s just a finger, Skyler. Just relax for a second and let me slide it in,’ I told her.”

Are you kidding me right now?

“But Skyler wasn’t having it. ‘NO! You’re not putting anything in my ass. What’s wrong with you? Just come up here and make love to me,’ she protested. I didn’t want to make love. I wasn’t in the making love kind of mood. I wanted to fuck the hell out of her.

‘Put it in your mouth first,’ I pressed my luck.

‘Drew, I don’t want to do that. You know I don’t like that. Come up here and make love to me, please,’ she whined.

Of course I did and then pissed her off again when I pulled out of her and shot my load all over her breasts, rubbing it around her nipples with a satisfying moan. She didn’t say a word, just stormed off to the shower.” Drew laughed.

“That’s lovely, Drew. Can we go now?” I asked, standing and reaching for my purse.

“I think maybe you two better take some time today. Don’t go home together, okay?” Deidra pleaded, knowing I was pissed.

“No problem. He doesn’t have to come home at all. He can go to hell for all I care,” I assured them both, grabbed my purse and stormed out.

“What the hell, Morgan?” Drew asked, pulling my arm before I could make it to my car.

“Don’t fucking touch me. Why don’t you go find Skyler? Maybe you can lick her pussy or something,” I yelled, jerking away from him.

“Will you stop? What’s this all about?”

“Really, Drew? You tell me. What the hell was that? You went into great details about your sex life with Skyler. What the fuck?”

“It’s the way my mind thinks.”

“You’re stupid. Let me go,” I said, trying to get away from him.

“Listen to me. I don’t want to hear the details of your sex life with Dawson.”

“What?” I asked, having no clue what the hell he was talking about.

“You’re going to have to talk about that soon. I thought maybe if I could show you first how it makes me feel when you mention his name, you wouldn’t do it, you wouldn’t talk about him.”

“You’re the one that needs help, not me. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of.”

“Are we okay?” Deidra called from beside the door with a cigarette between her fingers.

“We’re fine,” Drew called.

“No, we’re not. I might stab you in your sleep.”

Drew laughed. I wasn’t laughing. I was dead serious. “I’m going to the office for a while. Stop being mad at me, and maybe I’ll lick your pussy when I get home,” he tried teasing.

I still wasn’t biting.

“I wouldn’t let you touch my pussy with your tongue now if your life depended on it.”

“We’ll see. I’ve got to go, my ride’s here. I love you.”

“Yeah, sure you do.”

“Tell me you love me. I’m not leaving until you tell me you love me.”

“I love you, now leave me the hell alone.”

Chapter 13

I stayed mad at Drew for three days. I couldn’t help it. He had no right. He didn’t have to do that. I was going to give it right back to him as soon as it was my turn to talk again. I’d tell him how Dawson did, well, when he, shit, Dawson didn’t really do anything. Drew put him to shame in bed, but he was very into me. He always made me feel like nothing in the world mattered but me. I’d go that route. Damn it. No, I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to hurt Drew. Drew had been hurt enough.

I loved the fact that Marta was back. Nicholas was happy that Marta was back. I think Drew secretly was as well, although you’d never get him to admit to it.

Drew and I continued our Thursday meetings with Deidra and I continued to endure the long hour sessions of listening to him talk about his life. The next visit was finally going to be about us, and not just him or me separate. That made me happy, until the actual meeting that is.

Of course I spent the entire hour listening once again. I guess I’m not really complaining about that. I was more interested in Drew’s story than mine. He just made it very hard sometimes. I think he did it on purpose to be honest.

Moving my feet under my butt, I settled in when Deidra wanted Drew, not me, Drew to tell her about when he and I got together. He was so dramatic, talking like he was narrating a great novel or something.

I rolled my eyes when Drew began like he was auditioning for a role in a movie or something, “Derik confessed to me ‘I still don’t understand what Dr. Reynolds is doing here,’ as we walked to the awaiting car with the doctor following behind.

‘I told her piece of shit dad that I didn’t want her if she wasn’t a virgin. He’s just coming along to humiliate the little cunt for me.’

‘You’re not going to fuck this chick are you?’ Derik asked me.

‘Fuck no. She’s probably got every disease out there,’ I replied.”

FUCK YOU!

“Derik probed, ‘So what if she’s not a virgin?’

‘I don’t give a shit whether she is or not. I told you, I just want to demean her a little, show her what a dumb little cunt she is,’ I informed Derick.”

The grumble that surfaced from deep in my throat couldn’t be helped and landed me the look from Deidra.

But Drew kept talking, “I still can’t believe anyone lived in that dump. It was downright disgusting. I thought I would fall through the floor as I was led to Morgan’s room by her father. What a dick. Who sells their daughter off for thirty thousand dollars? He didn’t care. He’d be drunk, dipping his cock in some barroom country bumpkin by nine.”

Drew was sure. That didn’t bother me. He could say all he wanted about that man. I didn’t give a shit about him, and he wasn’t my father.

“Maybe I was a cold-hearted bastard. No. There was no maybe about it. I didn’t see the scared young girl, perched on the mattress with her knees to her chest. I saw Michael fucking Callaway’s daughter. I felt no remorse for him or her at all. I wanted her to pay, pay for fucking everything up for me, pay for everything that her dirt bag father did to my mother, pay for the strain I was having to put on my relationship with Skyler. I wanted her to feel every last thing that my mother felt, and I hoped like hell Michael’s spirit was able to witness it all. I smiled as the doctor opened his bag and told her to undress from the waist down. Closing the door, I turned to witness her frightened demeanor. I can’t explain what I felt, or why I felt it, but it did something to me. I was fascinated by her petrified behavior. It tuned me right the fuck on, and I actually felt my cock twinge.”

Oh, my god, Drew. Reel it in a bit.

“I grabbed her legs, pulling her to her back after she protested being examined. That felt liberating too. Unbuttoning her jeans, jerking them off her, and telling her to spread her legs was fucking with me in a bad way. I didn’t feel a twinge anymore. I had a full blown hard-on going on. I was definitely going to have to visit Skyler when I got back.  I had to adjust myself in my slacks, watching absorbedly as the doctor inserted the instrument into her pussy. Her eyes were tightly closed and her small stomach rapidly moved up and down, breathing erratic breaths. I wanted to tell him to move the light down, wanting a closer look but controlled myself, remembering that he was there, and I didn’t care what her pussy looked like.”

Drew and I were going to have to start discussing things before we came in here. I felt myself sink in to the sofa, trying to hide from the embarrassment my idiotic husband was freely handing out.

“The doctor announced, ‘Her hymen is fully intact,’ removing the instrument. Morgan quickly sat up and closed her knees. I nodded, letting the doctor know that he could be excused.

‘Get dressed, we have a plane to catch,’ I ordered her. I already liked telling her what to do.

She started to cry, and I knelt to her level. Her tears didn’t faze me one bit. They intensified my state of mind. I’d watched my mother shed tears over Morgan’s father so many times I couldn’t count them all. ‘No tears, Morgan. I am doing you the biggest favor of your life. You are going to live like a queen and all you have to do to earn it is listen to me. Now get dressed. We’re leaving.’ I couldn’t help myself. I placed my hands on her bare knees and moved them apart, having the strongest urge to run my fingers up her slit. It turned me on to no end, knowing she’d never been touched. I stood, coming to my senses and she quickly dressed.”

Drew explained the day he picked me up. I remembered that day too, exactly the way he’d just described it. Jesus Drew, I thought, hoping he stayed facing the window. I could see he was sporting a full blown hard-on.

“Her worthless piece of shit father never said a word to her as she walked in front of me toward the awaiting car. He sat at the table, whistling and counting his money while I walked right out the door with his daughter,” Drew stated.

“This is as illegal as hell,” Deidra decided, shaking her head.

“Yeah, we know that. We knew it eleven years ago too,” Drew assured her and continued, “I stayed on my phone, needing the distraction of Morgan riding in the backseat with me. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on? I had Skyler at home, patiently waiting on my return. I wasn’t even attracted to this girl. I didn’t even like brunettes, but from that day, the day I picked her up, she did something to me,” Drew smiled at me.

I thought he was full of shit. I never did anything for him, not something he was speaking of, maybe in his pants, but that was it.

“I sat right beside Morgan on the plane, noticing her excitement as the plane took off. I was sure the girl had never been on a plane, probably never been out of those hills. I handed her a glass of wine, and she asked where we were going. I told her and then pretty much ignored her the rest of the trip. I was fighting demons that were manifesting by the minute. I needed to get away from her. I needed Skyler, or so I thought.”

Fuck Skyler…

“Once my fucked up illegal as hell wedding was over, I stormed out of my office. It was the whole feel of the mansion. I hated being in that house, hated the evil spirits that I could feel lurking, and the recollections of all that I had seen growing up there. ‘Get her settled in. I’ll send orders later,’ I barked to the girl who would be taking care of Morgan and keeping her big mouth shut to whatever went on there. I made sure of that before I hired her. It took seven interviews before I felt comfortable enough with Rebecca. She needed the money, and I was pretty sure she’d keep her there and follow my orders. I just wanted to go to my fucking apartment. I didn’t want to stay there in that fucked up house. I wanted out of there already. What the hell was Callaway thinking? He knew my mother had just blown her head off there. Did he not think that I would be affected by that fact? Maybe it wasn’t that at all. It was the other fucked up shit that I tried to forget that was eating at me. I stormed out of the house with Derik trailing after me.

‘What the fuck, man?’ Derik called.

‘What?’ I snapped, turning on my heels.

‘Where are you going?’

‘To Skyler.’

‘You mind if I go back and you know?’ Derik asked with a sly nod toward the house.

I knew what he was asking. ‘No, Derik. I don’t know. Go back in and do what?’ I angrily asked, taking a step back to him.

‘You know, tap that,’ Derik bluntly stated.”

I shivered from the cold chills running up my back, thinking about Derik touching me. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, listening to Drew talk about Derik.

Drew explained, “For whatever reason it pissed me off. ‘You fucking touch that girl, and I will beat the living life right out of you. YOU UNDERSTAND, Derik?’ I yelled, poking him hard in the chest with one finger.

‘Damn, dude. Calm down. I was just asking. Okay. Okay. Are you going to?’

‘I don’t know. NO!’ I assured him, realizing what I had just said. Fuck no, I wasn’t touching her. I was going to find Skyler. ‘Where are you?’ I yelled into the phone, hearing the loud music.

‘Out with Jena. I’ll call you later,’ Skyler said and hung up on me.

I went to my apartment, hoping I could still get in. Thank god I could. I couldn’t stay in that house. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I should have insisted that I wasn’t living there. Yeah, right, like you could insist anything with either of the Callaway’s. I walked out to the verandah with a drink. Looking out at the city lights, I shook my head, wondering how the hell I was so lucky to get involved with this fucked up family. Downing my drink, I walked back in for a refill. Wondering what Morgan was doing, I powered on my laptop and walked back out. Typing in the code for the multitude of cameras, I found Morgan in the bathroom. Rebecca was in the bathroom with Morgan as the water filled the tub. ‘If you need anything else, just dial 3 on your bedside phone. It’ll go directly to my room.’ Rebecca said to her.

‘Where’s Drew?’ Morgan asked.

‘I’m not sure. He only told me that he would send orders for you later.’

‘What does that mean, Rebecca?’ she worryingly asked.

‘I don’t know. I’ll let you know when I do. Good night, Morgan,’ Rebecca said, closing the door and leaving her. I smiled that she was listening to my orders about not carrying on a conversation with her. She wasn’t there to be her friend. I made sure she knew that before I hired her. Morgan took a deep breath and looked around the stylish bathroom. I knew she’d never seen anything like it in her life. I observed the way she took everything in, admiring the luxuries she’d never in her life been around. I noticed how young she looked as she removed the clothing that I still remember her coming with. She wore a black t-shirt with a white crow in the middle, worn jeans that had gone out of style in the eighties, a gray sports bra, and white cotton panties that reminded me of something a grandmother would wear.”

He remembered what I came there in?

“The mound had to go. What the fuck? I remember thinking, I didn’t care that she had hair. I wasn’t touching that piece of shit, gold digger. I slammed the laptop closed and stopped watching. That lasted until I was in a somewhat of a drunk stupor. I opened my laptop again after crawling into bed and watched her some more. She was watching television, snuggled in the lavish bed. My bed. The bed that I was going to sell with the house as soon as Callaway died or burn to the ground, I hadn’t decided which yet. She looked comfortable with a small smile as she watched the dumb little kid show, the one with the two little Olsen twins. Clicking the different camera views, I watched her slide off the bed and out her door. Okay, maybe I would fuck with her a little. I felt my cock pay attention as I noticed her perky little breasts with her erect nipples poking through the satin. Rebecca did well picking out clothes for her. She did have a hell of a nice body for being trailer park trash.”

If you call me trailer park trash one more time, so help me god.

“I guess she could be hot if she’d clean herself up, maybe get rid of the dark hair. I hated dark hair on girls. She should go lighter, not quite blonde, but maybe some blonde highlights. I watched her get a drink of water and wander around the house, observing her new surroundings. It felt as though I was staring into her unfamiliar eyes as she studied a picture of a pirate ship. The camera was hidden right in the middle of one of the sails. She was kind of pretty, and I wondered about her teeth as she bit her bottom lip. They were white, extremely white for a poor girl from nowhere.”

Yup, poor people brush their teeth too. Stupid boy.

“I glanced at the time, not really caring that it was almost midnight. I dialed Rebecca and told her what her duty was the following day. Knowing I was playing with fire before I did it. If Callaway found out he’d have my nuts for sure. I didn’t care. This was for his fucking offspring, buried in the cracked dry ground. I sat in the office of the jewelry store all morning the next day. It wasn’t what I should have been doing at all. Rather than taking care of business myself, I sent Derik. He could handle it, it was only a half a million dollar transaction. Jesus, what the hell was I thinking? He better not drop the ball, Callaway would be furious with me. He wasn’t going to know that I was holed up in my apartment instead of being at the mansion with Morgan. He could think I was away, taking care of business. That is if Derik didn’t fuck it up. I watched Morgan argue with Rebecca about her hair color, the clothes, the panty hose, and the best part of all, the bikini wax. I made sure that it was done in the downstairs bath, where the walls were lined with mirrors, and I would have full view of her pussy as they waxed her. I needed Skyler in a bad way. My hard-on was starting to ache, needing to be relieved. I called Skyler. ‘Hey, beautiful. Stop by the office for a little bit.’

Her retort was, ‘Why? I’m getting my hair done.’

‘I need you to. I’m wearing this massive erection, come over here and bend over my desk.’

‘You’re ignorant. You make me wonder who you are sometimes. I’m having dinner with my folks tonight. I’ll talk to you later.’ And just like that, she was gone. Damn it. Now what the hell was I supposed to do?” Drew wondered out loud, like he was living the moment again.

If he went into detail about their sex life again. I would murder him, no doubt about it.

Chapter 14

“Flipping on my laptop again later in the evening, I poured a drink and settled onto the sofa to see what little Morgan was up to. Watching her undress, looking like a different person, I sat up straighter. She was actually very attractive, my cock agreed as I watched her run her fingers over the smoothness of her freshly waxed pussy. I watched her bathe and then dialed her phone as she crawled into bed. Laughing, I watched her nervously stare at the phone, wondering if she should answer.

‘Hello,’ she cautiously picked up.

‘You’re even more beautiful now,’ I told her.

‘How do you know how I look?’ she questioned.”

I listened while Drew talked about that day as if it just happened. He was right on with all of it, bringing back feelings and emotions I wasn’t sure I wanted to think about.

“I told Morgan, ‘I can see you in every room of my house.’

‘Every room?’ she asked, looking towards her bathroom. I knew exactly what she was thinking.

‘Yes. Every room. You’re not allowed to touch yourself,’ I ordered her.”

“Drew,” I scolded. He didn’t have to tell Deidra every little detail. Geesh.

Drew continued, totally ignoring my plea for him not to be so bold, “Morgan assured me, ‘Go to hell. I’ll do what I want, when I want.’

I smiled, staring at her angry expression through my laptop. She looked around the room, trying to stare me down. She couldn’t, she didn’t know where the cameras were.”

“You had cameras installed to watch her?” Deidra interrupted, maybe she hadn’t heard it all. She sounded a little surprised at that fact.

“Does. We still have cameras.” I was the one to answer. “Yes, Drew can see me and our son in any room of our house from any computer, from any country,”

“How do you feel about that, Morgan? You’re okay with that?”

“Unequivocally, I am,” I admitted. I didn’t know why it was okay. I guess because I was so used to it.

“Go on,” Deidra nodded.

Drew continued his story, “I boldly stated, ‘I assure you, you won’t.’ Letting her know that she wouldn’t be doing what she wanted. ‘I wouldn’t advise you to speak to me like that in the future,’ I warned Morgan.

‘Why?’

‘Because you will be punished, for outbursts like that.’

‘And how do you plan to punish me?’

‘I’m sure you will soon find out. I will see you in a few days, Mrs. Kelley.’ Hanging up, I continued to watch her. Wishing I’d ordered her to sleep naked or something. She was underneath the covers, watching television. It wasn’t enough to even get a hard-on. Again, I drank myself in a stupor, passed out on the couch, and woke with a stiff neck from the crazy dream. Sitting up, I rubbed the back of my neck and then moved the hardness of my cock to the side. Jesus, another five minutes and I was sure I would have come in my sleep. How could I acquire an erection, envisioning that fucked up shit? I moved my fingers across the mouse pad of my laptop, typed in the password and clicked on Morgan sound asleep, still snuggled under her covers. I clicked on the rooms in the rest of the house, pausing on the one that my mother slept in. I bypassed that room. If I had to live there, something was going in that room, something that didn’t represent the hell my mother went through while living there with that fucking lowlife. Clicking back to Morgan, I felt all the anger that I held toward Michael resonate from his dead body to her. I hated her as much as I hated her fucking father. I wanted her dead too. It was ridiculous how much hatred I felt toward this girl. Did she really think she was going to just waltz right in here and take everything I’d worked for? No fucking way. I would die before I let that happen.”

I raised my eyebrows when Drew spoke of Valerie again. I was once again interested in what he had to say. I hadn’t heard any of this before.

“Moving my finger over the mouse I hovered over Valerie’s room, debating on whether or not I wanted to go there. I was going to turn that room into a theater, something to distract my attention while I waited for Mr. Callaway to kick the bucket and get rid of his dumb little granddaughter.”

Watch it buddy.

“I opened the room, seeing it the exact same way it was left. My mother took great pride in that day. She’d wanted Valerie out of the picture for years. Michael wouldn’t hear of it. He kept them both right where he wanted them, and both dumb women fell at his feet, believing that he was going to marry them. The sad part was Valerie was already married. She would have left her husband in a heartbeat for Michael. I know she would have. When Michael got really bad, Valerie was made aware that she wouldn’t be coming back to the estate. She hated my mother as much as my mother hated her. Patrick, her husband, was a good friend of Michael’s, they did business together, and while Michael was out of town, taking care of business, Michael entertained his wife. I guess my mother always did have a little more pull than Valerie. Although Valerie was by far lacking in anything. Michael made sure of it. She dressed in beautiful clothing just like my mother. Unlike my mother, Valerie was free to leave anytime and never return whenever she wanted to go. Michael reminded her of it often. He reminded my mother of the fact as well, but he’d never let her leave, not that she would have anyway. She was in love with him for whatever reason. I’m sure I’ll go to my grave trying to figure that one out. Of course I kept her from knowing a lot of things. Would it have influenced her decision to leave Michael? I don’t think so. She wore blinders; the man could do no wrong. I let my mind wonder to Valerie and that room, the dream that had woken me. I was barely seventeen. I’m not sure where my mother was, away somewhere. Michael often sent her away when he wanted to entertain Valerie. I never went with her, and she never asked me to go. I guess I was somewhat neglected too. I knew she loved me, it wasn’t that, she just had other things more important on her mind than me.

I remember standing to the side of the French doors, watching as Michael slid his fingers through the material of Valerie’s top. Feeling the sensations in my groin, I moved my legs apart, trying to situate my hardness. It wasn’t the first time I’d watched Michael fuck Valerie. I’d been working side by side with him, learning everything I could learn from him. I knew where the key to his office was. I knew how to magically make Valerie’s room appear on the computer screen. I’d jacked off in my hand many times to Michael fucking Valerie. I became pretty excited for those times my mother would go out of town, knowing Valerie would take her place. It’s sick, I know. She was my mother for god’s sake, I should have been furious with Michael for bringing Valerie to our home while my mother was away. I wasn’t, maybe because she was stupid enough to know about it and let it happen. Unsnapping my dress pants, I released my pulsating cock and stroked it, staring blankly at the empty room on screen. I contemplated that day, stroking myself in my hand. One of many fucked days. By the time I’d turned eighteen, Michael shared Valerie with me. I made sure my mother was involved in chasing charities, organizing events, and getting out of town. I needed her gone to ensure Valerie’s stay. Valerie didn’t always come when my mother was gone. She was there occasionally when my mother was there, but not often. It was sort of a mixed blessing when she was there. I got to spend more time with Valerie when my mother was home, but it felt a little, I don’t know, dirty, I guess.”

“You were with her too, weren’t you, Drew. After we were married, I mean,” I interrupted.

“I was, Morgan,” Drew smiled at me and continued. “I flipped the camera back to sleeping Morgan and pumped my cock in my hand. Imagining my come coating her lips. I thought about doing to her what Michael had done to my mother. That was the part that wanted me to slice his motherfucking throat. I’d seen the way he treated my mother, just like he treated Valerie. I saw his hand strike her face more than once. I never watched the fucked up shit he did to her. I couldn’t do that. It made me sick, but I had no problem at all watching him do it to Valerie. She had a choice. She didn’t have to be there. She should have been at home with her husband. She chose the fucked up shit that Michael did to her. ‘Eat me, you little bitch. Take my come just like your daddy used to do to my mother,’ I said out loud to the empty apartment while I spewed my juices to the palm of my hand.”

Jesus Drew.

Chapter 15

“Tell me about the first time you had sex with Morgan,” Deidra coaxed. Thank god. I was sick of listening to the sex my husband had with a woman almost twice his age. It was sick, disgusting, and I didn’t find anything erotic about it.

“It really wasn’t Morgan that I was pissed at,” Drew started his story. “It was her fucked up grandfather who didn’t know shit about business. I had this deal in the bag, it was a done deal. He put a stop to it, it wasn’t enough. ‘What do you mean, it’s not enough. It’s a 50% margin. That’s a crazy deal,’ I argued on the phone with him.

‘It’s not enough, you’re willing to accept nine grand less than what we were asking. Split it with him and we have a deal.’

There was no splitting it with him. He took his money and gave it to my biggest competitor, not to mention the publicity that Camron Jewelers was going to get off it. Callaway needed to stay the fuck out of my shit. He needed to have a heart attack and join his fuckhead son.  By the time I’d made it home I was furious. She was just coming in from the pool when I walked in. I watched her pull the towel over her body, catching Rebecca from the corner of my eye. I turned and looked at her; she scurried from the room like an obedient servant. ‘Move the towel,’ I demanded in some sort of angry voice. She shuddered and moved the towel, divulging a beautiful bikinied body.

‘Where are you going?’

‘I was going to shower,’ Morgan said defiantly.

‘Go,’ I ordered. I had one quick call to make and then she was mine for the entire night. ‘I watched her shower and walked up to her room before she was finished. Laying on her bed, I thought about Callaway screwing my deal, my mother, and about Morgan’s fucking dad and the last time he had touched me. You would think a boy of seventeen would have stood up for himself. I didn’t. I was a pussy little coward. It’s different when things happen to a guy. Girls are dainty and vulnerable. I felt like a coward. I wasn’t the nine year old boy locked in an office with a priest. I was seventeen, practically a man. I could have done something. Michael used to tell me I liked it, that’s why I never stopped him. He was unstoppable, unless I wanted him to take it out on my mother. I didn’t want that,” Drew explained.

I didn’t want to hear what he was about to talk about. I wanted to hear more of how Michael was with his mother.

“Not only was I already pissed about losing a major deal, I had to go and make it worse by thinking about my fucked up life and Michael. Morgan didn’t have a chance in hell,” Drew admitted.

I sucked in a deep breath, anticipating what I knew he was about to tell Deidra. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

“Shaking my head to rid the recollections, I looked up to Morgan, wrapped in a towel. My heart was racing from the anger that I felt toward her father, and instantly it resonated from him to her. I took no mercy on Morgan that day, the day she lost her virginity. The day that I officially made her mine.”

“That wasn’t the first time we had sex, Drew,” I interrupted.

“Yes, it was,” he argued.

“No, you did things before that time,” I reminded him.

“Yeah, but I didn’t actually have sex with you until that night.”

I didn’t continue the argument. I’d do it later, when Deidra wasn’t sitting there. Evidently he was under the assumption that giving it to me up the ass before that, didn’t really count. Whatever, I guess it doesn’t really matter. I shut up and let him continue.

“Pulling the chair from her vanity, I parked it right in front of her where I made her sit and spread her legs,” Drew continued. I still couldn’t believe he was able to talk like this in front of Deidra.

“I watched her play with her pussy for a long time, still trying to rid the thoughts of Michael. Spreading her lips with my fingers, I ordered her to rub her little nub faster and harder, and then dared her to come. I knew she was going to come, I wanted her to come. Every time she would try and shift her fingers a bit, trying to cease the impending orgasm, I made her move them back. Smiling when she came, I knew I could punish her, not that I wasn’t going to anyway. I made her bend over in front of me and spanked her until she wore a nice layer of my handprint on both her ass cheeks. I finger fucked her ass, after making her tell me that she wanted me to, grinding my erection into her ass as I did. After making her tell me that she wanted me to fuck her pussy, I ordered her to lay on her bed and spread her legs. I never thought about her being a virgin or the pain that it would cause when I vehemently forced into her. She grimaced in pain and jumped away from me. I didn’t care; I pulled her hips and thrust deep into her. She no longer wanted to come, she wasn’t enjoying any of this, but that was okay to me. It wasn’t about her. She wasn’t here to find pleasure. The second I felt the sensational building, I pulled my bloody cock from her pussy and pushed her to the floor. I stroked my hand savagely, transferring blood to my palm. Rubbing my head over her lips, it wasn’t coming. I shoved her back to the bed, pumped in and out of her like a crazy person, and ordered her back to her knees.

‘Go clean up,’ I dominantly requested after painting her lips and coating her tongue with my come. Flipping on my computer, I watched her cry, curled up in a naked ball on her bathroom floor. I laughed, feeling good about what I’d just done and how I’d made her feel, then showered myself. She was hopefully feeling everything I had ever felt and then some. This became the norm. I could have gotten used to it other than the fact that I still had Skyler on my ass and after six months, I was sure Mr. Callaway wasn’t going to die anytime soon. That’s how long I was able to keep her from Skyler. That’s how long she was graced with my presence, my house, and all the luxuries that she was not entitled to.”

“She didn’t have a choice,” I chimed in, not sure how I felt about Drew’s purpose in life becoming a need to hurt me any and every way he could.

“I know, love. I’m not speaking of now. I’m talking about then.”

“And when did Skyler find out about your wife?” Deidra asked.

Chapter 16

“Skyler didn’t understand any of it. She wanted to live at the mansion with me. She always loved the mansion, even when she’d come there with her father to conduct business. She talked crazy shit about all the things she wanted to do to the place. She couldn’t do anything until I got rid of Michael’s offspring,” Drew continued.

I was actually into his story today. Intrigued with how he truly felt about my being there against both our wills.

“This was going to be harder than I thought. Skyler wasn’t going to lay down and let me do this. ‘What do you mean, I can’t stay there? Of course I can. We’ve planned this all along,’ she whined over lunch. I never thought about the events that Callaway would insist that I attend with Morgan. He wouldn’t hear of me bringing Skyler instead of Morgan. Fuck. I hated that stupid little bitch. She was ruining everything.”

“Drew, stop calling me names. I’m sitting right here,” I demanded in a raised voice.

“I’m not calling you names. I’m telling a story from a long time ago,” he assured me with an encouraging smile before continuing on, “I tried to appease Skyler, ‘Shit is going on right now, Skyler. Callaway doesn’t want you there. None of this is mine until he’s gone. You know that. Do you want me with no money? Do you want me to go find a job and rent us some apartment on Fremont Street? Would that make you happy, Skyler?’ I shook my head when she bowed her head to her lap. Of course she didn’t want me without the money. She was bred into this shit. It was always about the money.

‘Just tell me what is going on. I should be part of this too, Drew. We are a couple.’

Yeah, tell that to Callaway and my wife, I thought. ‘Skyler, just let me deal with this. You know what Callaway thinks of your parents. He’s going to dictate everything I do for a while. You know this.’

‘But, why do you have to give up the apartment? Where am I going to go when I need to get away from my parents? You know how much my mother drives me crazy. How are we even going to see each other?’

‘Do I not travel a lot? You’ll go with me. I’m sure Randal won’t be doing anymore traveling. You like Jena. Derik will be with me most of the time, and you and Jena can tag along.’

‘I don’t really like Jena. I only hang out with her when everyone else is busy.’

‘Why don’t you like her?’

‘I like her, I guess. I just think she’s a little tawdry.’

I laughed. ‘You think Jena is tasteless?’

‘A little. I mean who shops at Carson’s?’

I shook my head unnoticeably, closing my eyes. The girl I loved was exasperating and as high maintenance as they came. Her parents, mostly her mother, played a role in that.  My phone rang: Callaway. I didn’t want to answer Callaway’s call in front of Skyler. He was going to ask about Morgan. However, Callaway wasn’t someone you ignored. He called, you answered, simple as that, just like his prick son. ‘Hello,’ I answered, looking down, like that would keep Skyler from hearing my conversation.

‘Hello. How’s my granddaughter?’

‘She’s doing just fine, settling in quite nicely,’ I lied

‘Good, does she need anything? Is she adapting okay?’

‘She has everything she needs. She’s adapting just fine. I’ll keep you posted.’

‘Where are you? Are you with her now? I’d like to speak to her.’

‘I’m actually with a client right now. Can I call you back?’

‘Yes. Call me back. You selling something good?’

‘Trying to. I’ll call you when I’m finished.’ I ended the call.

‘Who?’ Skyler instantly asked.

‘Who what?’

‘Who is settling in nicely?’

‘A new manager for the strip store. I’ve got to get going, Sky, do you need a ride?’

‘No, I’m meeting some friends.’ She smiled.

‘What friends?’

‘Just girlfriends, we’re going shopping. When am I going to see you again?’

‘Soon. I’m trying to set up a deal in Los Angeles now. I’ll take you with me,’ I promised, standing and pulling her chair out for her.

I walked down the sidewalk with Skyler’s hand in mine, hating anything to do with Callaway blood. I didn’t want to go to the mansion, to Morgan. I wanted to wrap my arms around Skyler and fall asleep, smelling her blonde hair. I held her tight, feeling like we were saying goodbye or something.

‘Jesus, Drew. You act like we’re never going to see each other again. I love you, I’ll call you later,’ Skyler said.

I gave her a quick kiss and watched her walk away, swinging her ass with just enough sway. I should have taken her some place before going back to the mansion, maybe it would have helped when I sat at Michael’s—my desk and flipped on the cameras. Morgan was floating around the pool, looking way to fine. I got up, walked to the pool, and ordered her to go upstairs. I played with my wife for a couple hours that afternoon. I played with her pussy while watching television on her bed, made her suck my dick, prolonging my time with her as long as possible. That was the first time I’d ever used a foreign object on Morgan. I’d gotten up to go to the bathroom, ordering her to keep her legs spread. I saw the green tube on her vanity, I’m not even sure what it was, but I knew where it was going.”

“Oh, my god, Drew. You don’t have to tell her everything,” I argued his choice of stories.

“Does this bother you,” Drew asked Deidra.

What about me? I’m the one who spoke up. It fucking bothers me, you moron.

“You’re fine, continue,” Deidra requested nonchalantly.

Was this not bothering her at all?

“It was mascara,” I pouted, crossing my arms.

“Excuse me?” Drew asked.

“Mascara, that’s what you used on me.”

“Oh, anyway. I lay between her legs, staring at her wet pussy, slid the tube up and down her slit, and then in and out of her pussy.”

I moved my eyes to the ceiling, trying to rid the ridiculousness of my husband and now the throbbing between my legs while Drew took us both back to that day.

“Morgan became my new obsession. I couldn’t get enough of her. She was always on my computer—always. Knowing I had to go downstairs to meet Derik and actually work, I fucked Morgan, came in her mouth, and left her alone, ignoring the ringing phone with Derik’s name on the screen.

‘What are you doing?’ Derik cautiously asked as I descended the stairs.

‘Noting, let’s get this conference call going. Call Lois, have her make arrangements for us to fly out tomorrow. You can take Jena along if you want. I’m taking Skyler.’

‘You fucked her, didn’t you?’ Derik probed.

‘No,’ I countered, unlocking the office door.

‘Bring us coffee,’ I ordered Rebecca from the door.

‘You’re a liar. You fucked her.’

‘Shut the fuck up. I just shot a load in her mouth. Bitch deserves it,’ I told Derik.”

I’ll show you, bitch deserves it.

“For whatever reason, Derik’s comment pissed me off when he asked, ‘Damn, dude, let me go hit it too.’

I didn’t want anyone touching her. She was mine. I owned her until I could get rid of her, and not him or anyone else was going to touch her. ‘I already told you, you’re not touching her.’

‘Why? You did.’

‘She’s my wife.’

‘Come on, man, I haven’t been in anyone but Jena in two years. I won’t fuck her. Just let me shoot a load in her mouth too.’

’You touch her and you’ll be flipping burgers. Where’s the Henderson account?’ I asked, taking my coffee from Rebecca, wanting to get down to business. Derik and I worked diligently well into the afternoon until Rebecca tapped on the door, asking if we would like lunch. ‘Where’s Morgan?’ I asked, wanting her there as well.

‘She’s eating in the kitchen,’ Rebecca replied, setting a basket of rolls in front of me.

‘She needs to come to the table.’

‘Are you fucking kidding, Drew?’ Derik asked, seeing Morgan walk to the dining room table, heels clicking across the elaborate tile. She did look sexy as hell. She was wearing a cream colored pants suit, cut low in the front, black heels and her hair, wow, it was beautiful. I loved the blondness in her hair.

Morgan sat and barely touched her food. We didn’t include her in our conversation around the table, but I did glance at her often. I couldn’t help it. She was somewhat striking,” Drew admitted, glancing my way.

I smiled back at him, loving his description of me then, even when I hated him, he thought I was hot.

Getting back to his story, Drew said, “I answered a call from Callaway, ‘Hello.’

‘Drew, how’s my girl?’ he cheerfully asked. He didn’t sound sick at all. He sounded chipper and ready to take on the world.

‘She’s doing just fine, we’re actually having lunch together.’ That would win me a few brownie points I was sure. ‘Good, bring her to the Conner engagement party tonight.’

‘I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Morgan is not quite ready for that,’ I tried dissuading Callaway.”

I remembered that day too. I sat there in silence while Drew talked about me like I wasn’t there, and Derik stared at me like he wanted to eat me for lunch.

“Callaway warned me, ‘What do you mean? Don’t you say anything bad about her where she can hear,’

‘I walked away from the table,’ I lied to Callaway looking at Morgan who glanced my way, knowing I was speaking of her. I didn’t care if she heard me. ‘Morgan is somewhat, how do I say this? Her language is what you might call backyard slang. I don’t think she is ready to be around the class of people that we are accustomed to. I’d be a little embarrassed to say that she is my wife.’

‘Hmmm, I suppose you’re right. Get her the proper etiquette teacher. I need her up to par so that she can be at your side. I want to know how she is doing.’

‘Yes, sir. I’ll get on it right away.’ I left Morgan at home that night and attended the engagement party alone. Rolling my eyes at the political statement of the newly engaged couple, I entered the extravagant ballroom, immediately taking a drink from a very cute little caterer. Looking around as I sipped the girly wine, I saw Mr. Callaway sitting in his wheelchair in the center of the room. He laughed loudly with the group of men around him. What the fuck? He didn’t look like death at all. His color looked normal. Shit, he looked healthy. Other than the fact that he was sitting in a wheelchair, you’d never guess he’d been sick at all. I made small talk with a few people as I made my way to Callaway. I heard Skyler’s laugh and turned to see her in a circle of girls. She nodded my way and continued her conversation. I hoped she would, but I wasn’t sure how long she’d stay away from me. It wasn’t in her nature. She really didn’t care what Callaway thought of her. She would, however, care that I’d just married his granddaughter.

‘There’s my boy,’ Callaway proudly spoke. Shaking a few hands and exchanging greetings.

I listened to Callaway brag about my New York deal. Derik joined the clique, jumping right in on the conversation. I smiled at Valerie from across the room. She had her arm looped through her husband’s, eyeing me with a seductive glare. It had been a while since I’d been with her, at least six months or so. Morgan was the first thing that came to mind when I stared back. I didn’t really need Valerie anymore. Morgan could fulfill that part of my sexual needs, and it was a little more exciting than Val was. Morgan’s timid demeanor, forcing her to do it, and her submitting to me did more to me than Valerie’s eager willingness.”

“Glad I could help,” I interrupted again.

Drew ignored me, lost in the past. “Conspicuously walking to the table to speak to my beautiful girl in red, I picked up a bacon wrapped shrimp. I loved Skyler in red and knew she wore that dress for me.”

Ahhh, how fucking sweet. Fucker.

“I smiled over at Skyler. ‘You look beautiful.’

‘Thank you. You look pretty yummy yourself. We’re spending the night together, right?’

‘No, I’m taking you away tomorrow, remember? We have a business trip to tend to.’

‘I remember, but I was really hoping you’d help me out of this dress later.’ She flirted.

Damn, I did want to do that. I needed Skyler to keep me somewhat normal. ‘I can’t. I’ve got too much to get done tonight in preparation for this trip. I’ll talk to you later.’ I winked, catching the disapproving look from Callaway, and walked away from her. I should have left. I should have used the excuse of having work to do. Valerie pulled me to the dance floor, forcing me to dance with her. Skyler smiled as I looked to her for help. Of course she didn’t help. She couldn’t. Callaway would have wheeled himself right to the dance floor and caused a scene had I danced with Skyler instead. He wasn’t going to like it when he saw that I was with Valerie, but wouldn’t protest it. He still needed Patrick, sending him his high end clients. ‘How are you, Valerie?’ I asked, pulling her closer. For a middle aged woman, Valerie had it all together, in all the right places. She was hot.

‘Truthfully? Horny and guess what, Drew?’

‘Uh, uh. I can’t,’ I objected, knowing her plan.

‘Yes, you can. As soon as this song is over, I’m going to walk down the hall and you’re going to wait two minutes and follow me,’ she ordered. I laughed.

‘You don’t give the orders in this relationship.’

‘Fine, follow me and order me.’

Shit, if my dick didn’t just grow at the thought of it. I wasn’t doing it though. I couldn’t. I couldn’t handle three women. Valerie and I wouldn’t be doing this anymore, not after tonight anyway.

I watched her walk out of the room, away from the party, shaking my head in disbelief at her as she gave me the eye to follow her. ‘Excuse me,’ I politely spoke to Callaway and the three other men I’d been standing by. I wasn’t sure where she went. Walking down the empty hall, I looked around, trying to figure out where she’d gone. Surely she didn’t expect me to go into the ladies room. There were too many women going in and coming out with freshly painted lips. We’d surely get caught. Valerie pulled me into the dark room. I think it was a library or something. I could see the shelves of books lining the walls in the dark room. ‘Get on your knees, you’re going to get us killed,’ I said, unfastening my belt and releasing my already erect cock to her mouth. Valerie could give the most amazing head. I loved fucking her mouth, which I did, sliding in and out, down her throat until I couldn’t take it a second longer. Pulling her up, I ran my hand up her leg and to her panty-less crotch. She was so fucking wet. She would have done anything I told her to do at that moment. She wanted to come so fucking bad I could taste it. ‘Does your pussy need to be fucked?’ I asked, kissing her.

She moaned, squirming below my fingers.

‘Turn around,’ I beckoned, pushing her to what looked like an executive table.

She moaned again when I slid into her wet pussy and then to her ass. I reached around, played with her clit and fucked the hell out of her ass.

‘Mom!’ We both heard the voice calling from the hall.

‘Oh, god. Don’t stop, Drew,’ Valerie begged.

I couldn’t have stopped if I wanted to. I pounded harder until she dropped to the table, trying to stifle her pleasure, and I dropped with her.

‘Have you seen my mom?’ We heard Skyler from the hall.

‘Your daughter is looking for you. Get out of here,’ I ordered, putting myself away. ‘Sorry, love. I was on the phone,’ Valerie lied to Skyler as she left the room satisfied.”

“Drew,” I interrupted again. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know this fact either.

“What?” he asked, when I just sat there by Deidra with my mouth hanging open.

“Valerie is Skyler’s mother? Oh, my god. That’s disgusting.”

“Yeah, well, her pussy wasn’t disgusting,” Drew retorted.

“You need help.”

“I’m getting it.” He waved his hand towards Deidra.

“Can we be finished for the day?” I asked, turning to Deidra. I’d heard enough for one day. Why didn’t I know this? I wanted to disinfect my ears.

“Yes, we’re over a few minutes anyway,” Deidra explained, looking at the clock on the wall. “I’ll see you next Thursday,” she said, standing.

Chapter 17

“Now what, Morgan?” Drew asked, backing out of the parking lot.

“Nothing, Drew. You think maybe you could have told me this before you just blurted it out in front of Deidra?” I asked, raising my voice.

“What? Why would I have told you that?”

“I don’t know, because it seems like an important piece of information to let your wife in on. What if I would have said something to her at one of your stupid parties?”

“I don’t have stupid parties. I haven’t done that since Callaway died, and why does it even matter?”

“It’s disgusting. How could you fuck Valerie knowing she was Skyler’s mother?”

“I fucked Valerie for three years before I ever met Skyler.”

“And Valerie was just okay with you fucking her daughter? People around here have issues. No wonder therapists are on every corner here.”

“Valerie was okay with it. Valerie intended on me marrying Skyler, remember?”

“You’re more fucked in the head than I ever thought. I can’t believe you.”

“Morgan, that was years ago. What does it have to do with us now? Nothing. I should have never told you. I thought that’s what we were doing. I thought we were laying it all out, exposing the secrets,” he yelled back.

“I exposed mine a long time ago. I’m clean,” I assured him.

“Are you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Turn right here, you’re dropping me off at Piper’s with Alicia.”

“I mean that. How do I know that’s what you’re really doing?”

“Oh, my god. Come with me. We’re eating lunch, and then I am going to the doctor with her. You want to come?”

“No, I need to get away from you right now,” he admitted, turning down the one way street.

“You need to get away from me?” I sarcastically asked.

“Kiss me, I’ll see you later,” Drew said, pulling to the curb. I saw Alicia’s pregnant belly before I saw her.

“Your lips kind of gross me out right now,” I admitted, kissing Drew.

“Stop. I’ll see you when you get home. How long are you going to be?”

“We’re picking Vincent up from school then coming to the house. Celeste told Alicia that you two would probably be working late tonight.”

“Yes, I’m sure of it. I love you, see you later.”

“Okay,” I replied, trying not to be repulsed by Drew.

“Hi, I was beginning to think you ditched me,” Alicia greeted me with a smile.

“No, just went over time a little in our session. Did you know that Skyler was Patrick and Valerie’s daughter?” I asked, wondering if she knew that fact as well.

“Um, yes. Skyler Styles, Patrick and Valerie Styles, it’s not that hard to figure out. Why?”

“She and Drew used to date.”

“I know. Celeste told me, so?”

“Never mind forget it. Let’s order, I’m starving,” I stated. I wasn’t sure if she knew about Drew and Valerie. I’d better just drop it before I said something that was going to get back to my husband.

***

“Give me my boy,” Drew said around seven in the evening. Alicia, the boys, and I had eaten a long time ago. Celeste and Drew never came out of his office.

Alicia handed Nicholas to his daddy and watched when Vincent called from the pool, wanting him to watch him do a summersault under water.

“Good job, buddy.” Drew smiled, clapping Nicky’s hands, cheering Vincent on.

“What did the doctor say?” Celeste asked, taking her warmed up food from Marta.

“He said we’re never having this baby. She’s living here forever,” Alicia complained.

“No, she’s not. You still have seven days before your due date. What’d he say?”

“He said nothing has changed, and to come back next week,” Alicia grumbled.

Drew sat beside me and reached out his hand. I didn’t even pay attention I was so used to it. I handed him my cellphone, and he routinely went through it, just like he always did when I’d gone out without him.

“Why do you do that?” Alicia asked.

Drew shrugged his shoulders. “Does it bother you?”

“Yeah, it sort of does. If Celeste went through my phone, I’d be pissed.”

“I go through your phone all the time,” Celeste said, coming to Drew’s defense.

“Yeah, because I hand it to you, mostly to look at pics that I’ve taken of Vincent. You don’t just reach for my phone like it’s a given. I’d be pissed.”

“Alicia. Geesh. Calm down. It’s fine. I don’t mind Drew going through my phone. Stop being psycho hormonal,” I warned. She was so sensitive about everything lately.

“It’s not being psycho hormonal that I think it’s bullshit your husband checks your phone, the mileage on your car, your laptop history. Don’t you get sick of being on his leash?”

“Alicia!” Celeste warned with a tone. “That’s none of your business.”

“It is my business. Morgan is my friend, and I—”

“Alicia?” I was the one to notice the grimace on her face.

“My water just broke,” she quietly and shockingly spoke.

Celeste jumped up. “We’re not ready. Are we ready?” she frantically asked Alicia.

“Yes, our hospital bag is at the house, packed and ready. These things take time. We’re fine. You guys have Vincent duty, right?” Alicia, the calm one, asked.

I felt a chill run down my spine, anticipating the arrival of this baby girl. “Yes, we’re fine here. Go bring your baby into the world.”

Celeste squatted to Vincent, explained that he was going to spend the night, and they were going to get his sister.

“I changed my mind, just get me a brother like Nicholas,” he decided.

“You’ll just have to be Nicholas’s big brother. We’re getting a little girl, remember.”

“Um, okay,” Vincent said, looking over to Nicholas, standing between Drew’s legs, deciding that plan would work.

That day lasted forever. Drew and I put the boys to bed around nine in Nicky’s room without one word from Celeste or Alicia. I was worried sick.

“Will you stop? Come here,” Drew urged, grabbing my arm from pacing the floor.

“I can’t. Why haven’t they called?” I asked, leaning into him.

“They will. They didn’t leave here until after seven. These things take time, remember?” he asked, reminding me of our own, very long labor with Nicky.

“UGH, I hate waiting.”

“Alicia’s right, you know.”

“About what?”

“About me going through your phone. I shouldn’t do that. I don’t know why I’m so insecure.”

“Do you trust me?” I asked, turning to face him.

“Absolutely. It’s not about that.”

“It’s about the control, isn’t it?”

Drew nodded and kissed the tip of my nose. “Probably.”

“You can control me. I kind of like it, but you can’t ever mention Valerie or Skyler ever again, not even in the presence of Deidra, deal?”

“Deal, but I shouldn’t need to control you. You think doing all this with Deidra is helping anything?”

“I think it has gotten a lot of things off your chest, things you’ve kept buried for a long time. So, yes. I think it is. Do I think there is a fairy-tale cure, and we’re going to magically turn into a normal couple? No, I don’t believe that for a second. I think we’re always going to be a little on the screwed up side.”

“Is that bad?”

“It’s us, Drew. It’s who we are as a couple. I’m not sure I’d want it to be any other way with you.”

“You have no idea how much I love you, Morgan,” Drew admitted, kissing me more passionately than he needed to. I wasn’t doing that. I couldn’t. My mind was at the hospital with my two best friends. I wanted to be there too. I wasn’t interested in having my legs in the sky at the moment.

“Stop, I’m going to shower,” I sighed, getting away from him.

***

Nicholas cried after us. It was the first time he’d cried when we left him. Drew made sure Vincent was secure in the backseat and turned to me.

“Can’t we just take him?” he asked. It was cute as hell. He didn’t want to leave Nicky crying.

“Drew, he’s fine. I’m sure he’s already over us leaving him.”

“I should just run in and check on him real quick,” Drew stated, walking back towards the door.

I grabbed the back of his shirt, not letting him go. “No, you’re going to make him cry again. Let’s go, Vincent is waiting to see his sister.” We headed to the hospital.

“Oh, my god, Drew. Look how little she is,” I exclaimed, walking into the room with baby Christina—so not the name they had picked out. She was the tiniest little thing I’d ever seen. Nicholas was almost twice her weight when he was born.

Celeste looked like the proudest peacock ever, smiling from ear to ear. She took the tiny baby from Alicia and sat in a nearby chair with Vincent. I watched in admiration as she placed his new little sister in his arms.

“She’s got your nose,” Celeste remarked.

I held her next, falling madly in love with the newest addition. “I need another baby, Drew,” I decided right that moment, staring down at the precious little angel, swaddled in soft pink blanket. I loved the squeaky little noises and the way she scrunched her little face.

“We have a baby at home. He’ll be one in two weeks, remember?” Drew reminded me.

“But he’s a big baby. I want a little baby,” I said, kissing her soft brown hair.

“We don’t make little babies. We have big Brutus type boys.”

Drew was right. I would probably end up with another ten pound baby boy. I wasn’t ready for that yet. It was still too fresh.

I spent every minute I could with the new baby and Alicia. Celeste took a week off work and that was it. I’m not sure that she actually took time off. Alicia said she was on the phone or her computer the entire week. I’d even made Drew hang up the phone when he’d call her for things I thought could wait. They needed this time to bond as a family. His work could wait.

“That one wasn’t about work,” he complained when I hung up his phone, sliding it into his lap.

“What was it about?” I challenged.

“The estate. We have to get it cleaned out.”

“Oh, well, I’m meeting them both there tomorrow. Leave them alone for the night and pay attention to me.”

“You need me to pay attention to you?”

“I do.”

“Where do you need attention?”

I didn’t have a chance to answer. Marta cleared her throat at the door. “Do you want me to bathe him, or are you?” she asked.

“I will, you go home if you want. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I replied, taking Nicholas, who squirmed from my arms and onto the floor. He loved the living room. Drew had these black shiny glass balls on a bottom shelf that he seemed to always remember were there. I was afraid he was going to break one of them and get cut. Drew told me I worried too much and sat on the floor, rolling the solid balls with him.

“How about you keep him while I grab a shower and then I’ll bathe him,” I offered.

“Go ahead,” he replied, half paying attention to me. Nicholas had his full attention at the moment, not me.

***

“You really bought this place.” I stated to Celeste, walking around the cluttered mansion. There was so much stuff. How could one man accumulate so much stuff? The auction would last an entire week.

“I did,” she excitedly exclaimed in a skip, “and I think Alicia is a little more into it now too. She loves the pool.”

“And you guy’s will be closer to me.” I smiled.

“Mrs. Kelley, I think we’re done here. We left a few boxes in the office for you to go through, some papers and things,” the realtor interrupted.

“Thank you,” I smiled, walking to the pool area with Celeste. The pool was amazing, even nicer than ours. Vincent was going to love the slide. I wondered why Callaway would build a slide to begin with. Was it because he was expecting Drew and me to have children to swim there?

“Are you getting excited?” I asked, sitting on one of the stools in front of the extravagant outside bar. They were going to love it here.

“Yes, I am so excited. Did Alicia tell you what she wanted to do to the nursery? I can’t wait to see what she does. She’s such a good artist. I’m hoping she’ll have more time to get back to that here. It gives her something to do and still keeps her at home. She picked out that room right there.” Celeste anxiously pointed to the left side of the mansion.

“She is very talented. I’m happy for you guys, really,” I said warmly. I was glad Drew hired Celeste. I don’t know what I would do without them in my life now. And I couldn’t imagine that baby girl growing up without me in her life.

Celeste modestly smiled back. She was so much like Drew. I swear sometimes they were twins separated at birth. Celeste didn’t do emotion either. She did the same thing Drew did, either make a joke or change the subject. Celeste took the latter.

“Can you imagine living with all these dead animals?”

“Do you think people will actually buy them?” I wondered about the stuffed wild animals throughout the house.

“You’d be surprised.”

“We’re not keeping any of them, that’s for sure.”

“Are you keeping anything? I mean, he was like your grandfather,” Celeste remarked.

I thought about it for a second. I didn’t feel like he was my grandfather, and if I was being honest, I sort of resented him for Michael, and what he’d done to Drew. “I don’t think there’s anything here I want,” I decided.

“Ahhh, your needy husband,” Celeste teased, answering a call from Drew.

“Yes, it’s already taken care of,” Celeste rattled on, listening to Drew. She held the phone down so to talk to me. “You bringing Alicia home?” she asked, I nodded as she told Drew she was on her way.

I walked around the house, observing everything that would be sold off. “This place is crazy,” Alicia called from the north balcony. The house had two sets of stairs, leading to two different wings in the house. “Come here, I want to show you something.”

I walked up the stairs with a smile. I knew she was making plans in her head. It made me happy that she was finally excited about the estate. I was pretty sure Celeste wore the pants in their home as well, and she knew she’d be living there whether she wanted to or not. Might as well make the best of it, that’s how she felt. I could relate, feeling the same way many times.

“What do you think for the nursery? I want to paint it with pink fairies, sort of like I did for Nicky’s room, a little girl’s enchanted forest, only with more pinks and purples. What do you think?”

I took the baby from her arms and snuggled her close to my neck. I loved the smell of her, she was precious. “I think I love it, and this room would make the perfect nursery,” I replied, happy for her excitement.

“Yeah, I guess this could work. Have you seen the office here? Maybe Celeste would stay home more?”

“She will, they’re working on it. I was actually just heading there now, wanna come?”

“I’ll be down in a few. I want to check out a few more things up here. What are we supposed to do with the whole other side of this house?” Alicia asked, overwhelmed with the space she was going to have.

“How about an art studio?”

“Oh, my god, Morgan. I picked the perfect room? I can do this, uh?” she overzealously told me.

“You sure can. I love your art. I’ll see you in a few,” I said, handing over the baby again.

Opening the door to the breathtaking office with bookshelves as walls, I noticed the two cardboard boxes set aside for me. I wondered if I should just take them home for Drew. He’d probably get mad at me for going through them without him. That’s what I’d do. I would take them home to Drew. It was safer that way.

I sat in the brown leather desk chair and looked around the almost empty room. I wanted that room. I would love to turn it into a reading retreat. I could make it so cozy. I’d even have one wall full of kids’ books for Nicky.

Getting an eerie feeling, like when I was reading a suspenseful book, I saw something out of the corner of my eye, on the middle shelf of the bookcase. I am not even sure why I noticed it? None of the moving guys had seen it when they packed up the room? It was just a corner, barely visible, peeking out of a tiny crack in the wood.

Trying to get a hold on the little corner, I ripped it. Holding the torn piece between my fingers, I wondered how it got in there. What was it? I could tell that it was a miniature manila envelope, but why was it hiding there. Maybe it accidently got stuck there. Prying on the shelf, I used enough pressure to pull it out. I could tell before I even opened it, it was a key, and it wasn’t accidently hiding between two pieces of wood.

Holding it between my fingers, I looked around for a secret compartment or something. Shaking my head I shoved it in my pocket. I was being silly. I wasn’t reading a book. It probably didn’t go to a secret room at all. It was more than likely to a safe deposit box or something. I pulled it back out, inspecting the gold paper. Sure enough, on the back of the tiny envelope was the number 795 just below NSB. I knew what NSB was. It was our bank, well, one of them anyway. Answering my husband’s call, I placed the key back in my pocket.

“You coming soon? The photographer will be here any minute. Do you really want me to dress Nicholas for this?”

“No way, we’re leaving now… Drew?”

“Yeah.”

“The moving guys left two boxes of papers here for me. Should I bring them home for you?”

“No, I’ll send Celeste after them tomorrow. Come home. Nicky will be awake soon.”

“Okay, but you just called him Nicky again.”

“You don’t have to point it out every time I do it.”

“Yes I do. I’ll see you in a few. I have to run Alicia home first.”

“You should stop and get us some beer. We’ll float around the pool naked after Marta leaves and NICHOLAS goes to bed.”

I laughed at the notable way he didn’t say Nicky. “I can do that. I think Marta needs to leave right after supper, and Nicky should be in bed by seven.”

“Come home. I love you.”

“Love you too, be there in a few.”

Chapter 18

I never lied to Drew. I was afraid of lying to Drew. He’d find out, I was sure of it. I should have let it go. I couldn’t. I needed to find out what was in the lock box at the bank. I’m not sure why I needed to find out. I just did. It was probably nothing. Some jewelry or something. I’d just have a look and then put the key back where I found it. I wouldn’t mess with the contents of the locked box.

“You just went out with Alicia yesterday,” Drew complained when I told him that Nicky and I were going over to her house and maybe to lunch.

“So, you’re just going to be locked up with Celeste all day. What else do you want me to do?”

“I don’t like you having that much freedom. It worries me.”

I moved myself close to Drew’s chest, leaned against him and kissed his chin. “Stop worrying about me. I’m fine, just bored.”

“I’ll give you something to do,” he teased, kissing my lips.

“Hmm, okay, let’s do that now,” I offered.

“Let’s not,” Celeste said from the door.

“Great, you always do this in front of Celeste. Now she thinks of me as being weak. She’ll never listen to me now,” Drew complained in a joking manner.

“She doesn’t think of you as weak. She thinks you like to fuck your wife.”

“GET OUT OF HERE!” Drew yelled, sending both Celeste and me into a laughing state.

***

“I don’t like this, Morgan. What if Drew comes here? What if he calls? What am I supposed to say? Just let me come with you and I’ll wait in the car.”

“No, Alicia. Just keep Nick for me for a little while. Drew’s not going to call you. Has he ever called you or stopped by to check on me? No. He’d call me, not you. I won’t be long,” I promised, handing over Nicholas and quickly getting out of there. I didn’t know how much time I had or if I even needed to worry about it. Chances are Drew wouldn’t call at all. I still couldn’t help the excitement and fear, sending my nerves on an overloaded high.

Turning up the music, trying to drown out my panicked thoughts of Drew catching me, I went where he forbid me to go, even with Alicia. I drove to the strip, right to down town Vegas. Drew would kill me if he knew I went there.

I had to walk two blocks to even get to the bank. There was nowhere to park, and I ended up paying nine dollars just to park in a parking garage for ten minutes.

“Hey, pretty lady,” some guys hanging out inside the dim lit garage called to me. I knew I shouldn’t have worn a skirt. I ignored them with a speeding heart, hoping they didn’t follow. Thank god they didn’t.

“Can you tell me where to go for this?” I asked, the man just inside the bank doors.

“Right through there, ma’am,” he nodded to a set of white doors with gold trim, the kind you’d expect to see in Las Vegas.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. This key is registered under a Drew Kelley. Without proper identification, I can’t let you in,” the nice lady explained. Shoot. Now what?

“I’m his wife, and Michael Callaway passed away. He was my father,” I tried. It was worth a shot.

“I’m sorry, but I still need a power of attorney or Mr. Kelley’s presence.” She smiled.

“Thank you,” I disappointedly, replied. Well, that didn’t work. Oh, just stop it, Morgan. It’s probably nothing anyway, diamonds or something. Let it go, I tried to tell myself. Why couldn’t I let it go? Why was that deposit box eating away at my mind like it was? I needed to forget the deposit box, take the key back to the estate, and let it go. But why was the key at Randal’s house if the deposit box was in Drew’s name? It didn’t add up.

Quickly walking back the way I came, I once again ignored the same group of guys, admiring my black Lexus. Investigating in my mind about how to get in that deposit box, I jumped from the ringing of my phone.

“Hello,” I answered Alicia.

“Drew tracked your phone. He knows you went downtown.”

“How do you know? Shit, Alicia. What did you tell him?”

“Nothing, I told him you didn’t tell me where you were going, that you only asked me to keep Nicky for a bit.”

“He’s calling me now. I’ll call you back.”

“Where the fuck are you?”

“Oh, my god, Drew. I’m fine.”

“Why are you downtown?” he angrily asked.

“I wanted to buy a new outfit and some new toys for us and surprise you later, but I can’t seem to get out of your sight long enough to do anything on my own,” I yelled, pulling that lie from I have no idea where. I always lied better under pressure. I was glad I didn’t have time to conjure up a story, I’d screw it up anyway.

“Get Nicholas and come home, now,” he ordered, hanging up.

He was pissed. Shit. I was scared. Maybe I shouldn’t go home just yet. Maybe I should stay with Celeste and Alicia for a while until he calmed down. He wouldn’t come there and cause a scene, he didn’t work that way. Drew couldn’t hide behind his sheep’s clothing if he did that. He wouldn’t blow his cover. Then again, I’d just make things worse for when I did go home.

Drew stood at the door, waiting for me with his hands in his pockets. He was pissed. I could tell right away. Nicholas kicked his legs, lunging for his daddy, happy to see him. Drew’s face lightened, just a bit. Nicholas had that effect on everyone he came in contact with.

I decided to play this pissed off role too, not sure if I was safer that way or just apologizing my ass off. I stormed past Drew, turning his shoulder with mine, and stomped toward the kitchen.

“What the hell, Morgan?” Drew asked, following me.

I glared at him, feigning anger when in truth, I wanted to just come out and ask him, tell him that I’d found a key. “You tell me, Drew,” I barked, taking Nicholas and sitting him in his highchair with a hand full of cheerios.

“Give me your phone,” he demanded with an open palm.

I took my phone from the pocket in my purse and slammed it on the countertop with a pissed off expression. That time wasn’t fake. I was pissed.

“Is there a problem, Morgan?” he asked, opening the screen on my smartphone.

“Nope, go ahead Drew. Read my text messages, see who I called, see who called me, see if I give a fuck,” I nonchalantly gestured with a nod.

Drew was around to my side of the island in a split second, speaking down, inches from my face. “Maybe you need a timeout, Morgan. Maybe you need a few days of isolation, get your shit together, timeout. Is that what you need? You need a break from society for a few days?” he threatened through gritted teeth.

“Maybe I do,” I argued, giving it right back to him. “Maybe I need to take my son and give you the fucking timeout. I’m tired, Drew. I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t need you to be my fucking keeper. You can take all your lies, your secrets, your dominating self and shove them clear up your ass,” I yelled, shoving him backwards. Oh, my god. I just shoved Drew. He was going to kill me.

“You need to stop, Morgan. You need to stop right this second,” Drew quietly spoke in my ear after grabbing and turning me into the refrigerator. Holding my arm high in the center of my back, I tried to move away from him. I couldn’t, he lifted my arm higher, causing too much pain for me to do anything.

“Let go of me, Drew,” I demanded.

“Are you going to settle down? You’re acting like this in front of your son. He’s sitting right there watching you. How does that make you feel, Morgan?”

“Drew, let go of my arm.”

“Stop acting like a lunatic.”

“Really? You’re calling me crazy?” I asked, vehemently. How dare he.

“Okay, okay, let’s stop this,” Drew said, softening his grip and turning me to face him.

I didn’t look at him. I looked passed him.

“I think we should spend some time in my office. You seem to have forgotten where your place is here,” Drew whispered, kissing my neck and grinding into me with an already noticeable erection.

“I don’t want you to touch me,” I whispered in the same way, mimicking his tone.

“You two going to get it on right here in the kitchen, in front of Nicky,” Marta interrupted, carrying a sack of groceries.

“No. We’re finished here,” I assured her, stepping around Drew and taking my son from his chair.

Drew took him from me with a stern look, placed him back in his seat and walked me out of the kitchen, holding both my arms. I should have protested. I shouldn’t have let him think he won—again. I could have. I wasn’t afraid that he was going to hit me. That wasn’t why I didn’t protest at all. I didn’t protest because I was as sick as my twisted husband. I was too busy trying to put my vagina in its place to protest. I knew where we were going, and I knew why. So did my aching pussy.

Drew closed the door, slamming me against it. His mouth crushed mine with a powerful I’m-the-one-in-control kiss. “You know what it does to me when you disobey me, Morgan,” Drew rasped in my hair while his fingers fumbled with the buttons on my blouse. I couldn’t speak, no words would form. I was having a hard enough time, reminding myself to breath.

“This is so fucked up, Drew,” I panted in some sort of breathy moan. It was fucked up. My husband was about to punish me for disobeying him, and I was more aroused than I could handle. I would have done anything he told me to do at that moment—anything.

“I love you. You can’t take off like that. I’ll take you to the strip if you want to go there. You can’t do what you want. Do you understand me, Morgan?” Drew asked, twisting my nipple between his fingers.

“Hmmm, yes,” I managed to say.

“You know I’m about to discipline you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I moaned, tilting my head for his provocative lips.

Backing away from me, Drew crossed his arms and stared. “Take your clothes off.”

Undressing in front of him, I did protest, watching him remove the leather belt. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be that severely punished.

“Drew, no. Not with the belt.”

“I won’t hurt you. I promise. Bend over my desk.”

I rested my body across the cold wood, feeling the cool effect on my erect nipples. Drew ran his hand over my ass and dipped his finger between my legs. I was so wet and aroused, I could have come in three seconds if he would have paid attention to my pulsating clit. He didn’t, of course. I wasn’t in control. Drew was.

Holding my breath when Drew took his hand away from me and stepped back, I waited.

“Ahhh,” I called out when the leather came in contact with my bare skin, causing an instant sting.

“Shhh,” Drew coaxed, rubbing the sting with his soft hands, and dipping his fingers back to my overactive sex.

This was the routine for five tormenting strikes from his belt. It wasn’t a quick five strikes. Drew dragged it out, slowing down time, and enjoying his control over me. I’m not sure he would have stopped then had he not forgotten about a call.

“I have to take this,” Drew said, pulling me to him. He kissed my lips, placing his hand over my burning ass cheeks. I didn’t want him on the phone. I wanted him inside me.

This reminded me of old times. I lay naked over Drew’s desk while he conducted business, going back and forth with Celeste and two other men on speaker. I grasped the corner of the desk, trying not to moan while my husband inserted an ink pen, sliding it in and out of my ass. I was okay with that. It was his thumb brushing my swollen nub at every insertion that warranted my need to moan.

Closing my eyes, I struggled to keep quiet. I wanted to come. Between the tingling feeling on my ass cheeks, the sensation of the foreign object moving in and out of my ass, and the tormenting fingers on my clitoris, I was spent. I was spent until I opened my eyes, viewing the fallen key right beside the pile of clothes on the floor. I stopped breathing, stopped feeling the sensations going on in my body, and freaked out.

Shit. If Drew saw that, he’d know I dropped it. Now what the hell was I going to do? If he got behind me, which I was sure he would eventually do, he’d see it. I was screwed. Okay, okay, story time. What the do I tell him? I had to get that key.

Standing and removing Drew’s hand from me, he gave me a peculiar look. “I have to pee,” I whispered to his ear, hoping he stayed seated.

Drew pushed a button on the phone, muting the noise from his office. “No, don’t pee. It’ll intensify your orgasm.”

“I’ll be right back. I have to, Drew,” I whined. He groaned and let me go, thank god. I dressed, placing my foot over the key. Pretending to fix the bottom of my pants, I picked it up, grasping it in my hand.

I hesitated, unable to breathe again when Drew came to me. “Come right back to me,” he requested, kissing me long and hard. Stiffening my posture, Drew ran his hand down my arm and to my hand. I held it tightly in a fist.

I was losing my mind. Panic overtook me when I entered the bathroom. What the hell was I supposed to do with this key? Drew was probably watching me. I couldn’t just hide it. He’d see me, or was he even paying attention? He was on a call, probably not watching me at all. Oh, my god, Morgan. Get it together.

Positioning myself over the toilet I looked around for a safe place to hide my key without being obvious. I chickened out, too afraid that I was being watched. Walking back to Drew’s office, I pretended to straighten the pocket in my pants, placing it securely in the corner.

Drew smiled at my return, not missing a beat in his conversation. “Celeste, can you go over what Chinatown did compared to Manhattan last month,” he coaxed. I didn’t wait for a command. Standing in front of him I, gracefully slipped out of my clothes, and resumed my position. I’d forgotten about the stinging in my ass until Drew soothed it with his hand.

Drew hit the mute button again, stood and leaned over me, kissing and licking my back. “I’m going to teach you not to disobey my orders, Morgan. It’s not that hard is it? Don’t I give you enough freedom? You realize how much freedom I could take from you, don’t you?” Drew said in a raspy tone, hot on my skin.

“Yes,” I moaned, feeling his finger between my legs again. Hearing the desk drawer open I listened to the wrapper being ripped open.

“I shouldn’t let you come. I should keep you from it for defying me. This is never going to happen again, is it, Morgan?” Drew asked. I jumped when he slammed the bottle of KY on the desk.

“No,” I moaned, sucking in a deep breath from his not so gentle entrance to my ass. Drew grabbed my hands and held them behind my back, thrusting in and out of me rougher than I would have liked.

Drew held himself inside me when Celeste asked a question. He unmuted, answered, and muted again, continuing his task at hand. “Fuck, Morgan,” he groaned, thrusting deep and hard. He really wasn’t going to let me come. I was bent over his desk, letting him treat me like he used to, and he was going to keep me from it. I may just be pissed off, a little bit.

I was right. Drew pulled out of me, shoved me to the floor in front of him, and ripped off the condom. For just an instant, I thought about protesting, but for whatever reason, I didn’t. I parted my lips and let Drew bathe my lips with his come. Applying it to my lips, he watched with a lustful stare and hissing sound.

“Don’t you ever do that again, Morgan” he warned, pressing the head of his cock in my mouth and to the back of my throat. “You understand me?” He asked, tugging on my hair a bit.

“Hmm. Mmm,” I nodded, trying to swallow his come around his cock.

Chapter 19

“You okay, Morgan?”

“Hmm?” I asked, looking up to Deidra, preoccupied. I couldn’t get the key out of my mind or how I could get into the box at the bank without Drew finding out.

“You seem a little off today,” Deidra accused.

“I’m fine. What were you saying?”

“Deidra, can you leave us alone for a minute?” Drew asked.

“Sure, you want coffee?” she replied.

“That would be great,” Drew nodded.

I had to stop reading mystery books. He knew about the key. He waited until we were here in Deidra’s office to confront me so he didn’t hurt me. What was I supposed to tell him?

“Morgan, is this because of what happened yesterday?” Drew warmly asked, taking both my hands.

“No, Drew. I’m fine,” I assured him.

“You’re not fine. You’re distant with me. I don’t like it.”

“I’m fine. I promise. How could I not be fine? You made up for it last night.” I smiled. He smiled too. He didn’t let me come in his office, but holy mother of Jesus, did he ever take care of me after we went to bed.

“What’s wrong then?”

“Drew, nothing is wrong. I promise.”

“You can go hang out with Alicia and the baby after this if you want,” he offered.

“Thanks, maybe I’ll go home and get Nicky and do that. No, I won’t get Nicky. I can’t help her with anything with him. I might. I’m fine. Let’s get this hour over with.”

“Are you tired of doing this? Is that what’s wrong?”

“Drew, nothing is wrong. I’m fine with this,” I argued. Geesh.

“All set?” Deidra asked, handing us both a cup of coffee.

She sat behind her desk rather than her customary chair and flipped the pages of a yellow legal pad.

“Let’s recap,” she began, looking at me. “Morgan you were raised by two alcoholic parents in a small coal town in West Virginia. You raised your little brother until he was taking from you. You never had money and rarely had enough food. You never had a serious relationship before Drew, and you even to this day have a hard time making decisions for yourself?”

“I can make decisions,” I objected.

“She doesn’t need to make decisions. I handle that part of her life,” Drew intercepted with an attitude.

“We’ll get to that. You’re not ready to go there just yet. Let’s review you,” she suggested instead. “You were born to a teen mother who was impregnated by her stepfather. She took you and ran when you were three. She made her money by entertaining men until you were ten, when your mother met Morgan’s father. He gave her a job at one of his stores and moved her to a nice apartment where she was to only entertain him. Once he moved you both to his house he also achieved entertainment from you. Michael taught you how to be a very successful business man in exchange for you letting him take care of a sick need, and keep your mouth shut.” Taking a deep breath, Deidra cracked her knuckles and looked from me to Drew. “That’s a lot of shit to be dumped in either of your laps. I’d love for you two to tell me that pretty much sums it up, but I’m afraid there’s more. Am I right? Let’s talk about the six years leading up to your accident, Morgan.”

“Okay,” I offered, “but if it’s okay with you. I’d like to hear this part of our lives through Drew’s eyes.”

“Drew?” Deidra questioned.

“What do you want to know?”

“You said you hated Morgan, right?”

“I wouldn’t say hated, maybe at first. Okay, yeah. I hated her, but not always.”

“What do you mean?”

I twisted in my seat, waiting for Drew to get up and walk to the window. He didn’t. He smiled over at me and placed my hand on his lap. He stared at our hands, contemplating what to say. “I’ve always thought Morgan was beautiful,” Drew smiled at me.

“She is,” Deidra agreed. I felt a quick flush cover my cheeks, and shook my head modestly.

“I remember the time I took her out, months after she’d been there.”

“Why was it months? You just kept her in the house for months?” Deidra asked.

“It was a few months before Morgan was ready for that,” Drew said, playing it safe. “There was no more making excuses to keep Morgan hidden and out of the public eye, away from my friends and, of course, Skyler. Morgan had the language down to a tee. She could wear heels almost as well as Skyler, and she looked like she belonged in this class of people. I had professionals come in and help her with her makeup, her hair, and her dress, knowing she wouldn’t have a clue how to present herself for this crowd. I was nervous as hell. Mr. Callaway would be there. He was going to talk to her. I was sure of it, and all I could do was hope like hell he stuck to the plan and didn’t disclose any information.

‘Hello,’ Morgan timidly answered the phone by her bed. I watched her through my computer as one of the girls placed a beautiful diamond necklace around her neck, helping her with the finishing touches.

I told Morgan, ‘We’re going to be late. Get down here.’

She replied swiftly, ‘I’m ready. I’m on my way, but I’m still not sure about this.’

I hung up. I wasn’t sure about this either. At least Skyler was out of town and wouldn’t be there. Someone would still tell her. I had to do what I could to make Morgan seem like a client and not actually be with me. I’d treat her like I treated all the other women there. I stood at the door with Derik, waiting for her to get her slow ass down stairs, looking at my watch as I waited.

‘Holy fuck, dude,’ Derik exclaimed, watching my striking, beautiful wife descend the stairs.

She was wearing a red gown, slit clear up her right leg with skin showing well below her breasts. I had to shake my own head and remind myself that she was nothing, that she didn’t mean anything to me.”

“Do you remember that day, Morgan?” Deidra asked, noticing the small smile, I was trying to hide.

“Yes, I remember it well. Drew actually had to pick up his jaw when he saw me,” I grinned at Drew.

He smiled back, with half a smile.

Why was I so in love with this man?

Drew resumed his story, “Grabbing her elbow and shoving her in front of me, I demanded, ‘Let’s go.’ Unable to keep from looking at her ass as she moved to the back seat, my eyebrows rose. I was glad Skyler was out of town. I closed the glass between Derik and the backseat. I guess that was a little trait picked up from Michael too. He liked privacy and made it known that his business was his business. Morgan scooted closer to the door, afraid that I was going to touch her, I presume. I wasn’t, not yet anyway.”

“That’s exactly why I scooted away, but you smelled amazing,” I teased.

Drew smiled and continued his narration, “I gave Morgan instructions on how to act for the night, ‘You don’t speak one word here. Do you understand?’ Morgan nodded so I continued. ‘If Mr. Callaway speaks to you, you’re to say nothing but yes or no.’

‘Mr. Callaway?’

‘Yes, he’ll be the one in a wheelchair, older gentleman. Just smile a lot and stay by my side. Do not answer any questions that you know nothing about. If he asks if you’re happy and have everything you need your answer is to be yes. You got it?’

‘Who is he?’

‘Don’t worry about who he is. Follow my orders, Morgan or you’ll be sorry,’ I warned with a patronizing threat. She didn’t reply. She was too flabbergasted by the Vegas strip, the mesmerizing lights, and the multitude of people, bringing the city to life.”

“I was mesmerized that night. I remember feeling so excited to be in Las Vegas. It was a dream come true. Well, not really, it was more of a dream come Drew,” I decided. It wasn’t like Drew was ever going to let me explore the city. He still wouldn’t let me do that.

Drew laughed at my last comment and continued. “Derik drove us right downtown to the front door of Cascadence, an elaborate, maybe a little too extreme dwelling for the richest of the rich. My plan was to make an appearance and get the fuck out of there as soon as I could. Maybe Morgan would fall ill or something. I wasn’t staying. I walked in front of Morgan, and Derik walked behind her. Jena met him at the door. I shot him a dirty look when he introduced Morgan as my wife.

‘What? She knows what’s going on,’ Derik argued.

‘Keep your mouth shut,’ I warned both him and Morgan, shifting my eyes from one to the other.”

“You were with Skyler that night,” I said, sitting up straight. It dawned on me while thinking about that night. Drew left the room and went with Skyler that night.

“I was, but nothing happened,” Drew answered.

“Yeah, sure. I have got to be the stupidest woman on this planet. Can you fix that, Deidra?”

“Morgan, we didn’t really like each other then. What is your deal? Will you let me finish? You’re the one that wanted me to talk, remember?”

“You know why, Drew? Because I have nothing to talk about during that time. I wasn’t out fucking anyone else. I wasn’t jumping on a plane every week. I wasn’t chasing every short skirt in Vegas. I wasn’t fucking doing anything because you wouldn’t let me,” I accused, raising my voice. Deidra never said a word. What the hell were we even paying her for?

“I want to talk about that, Morgan, but not yet. Okay?” Drew calmly said, wrapping his fingers around my wrist.

I jerked it away, and crossed my arms, waiting to see what else Skyler and Drew did that night. I would get up and walk out if he talked about fucking her.

Drew continued with the rest of his story, “I shot Morgan a stern look. ‘I’m going to step out for a second, but I have Derik watching you. You don’t talk to Mr. Callaway or anyone else while I am away from the table, understand?’

Morgan obediently replied, ‘Yes.’

I excused myself after returning Morgan to our table. I didn’t have to look far.

Skyler was just through the doors, pacing the floor, wrathfully. ‘That’s why you told me not to hurry back. You wanted me out of town, didn’t you, Drew?’

‘Shhh, come here, Sky. It’s not what you think.’

‘Then what is it, Drew? Who the hell is she?’ Taking a deep breath, I spilled.

‘I should have told you about this months ago. I should have let you know why you couldn’t come to the mansion and why I had to keep you hidden.’

Skyler was obviously confused. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’

Hesitantly, I confessed, ‘Morgan is my wife.’

Skyler’s eyes widened in shock, her expression was disoriented like she couldn’t respond. ‘Morgan? Your wife?’

‘Yes, I didn’t think she’d still be here. Callaway changed his will. He left it all to his granddaughter, Morgan.’

‘Drew, you’re making no sense. How can Callaway have a granddaughter? Michael was his only child.’

‘Michael is her father. He told Callaway about her the day he died. Callaway insisted that I either marry her and take care of her, or pack up and move on without a dime. I didn’t have a choice, Sky. I was hoping he’d be dead by now. It wasn’t supposed to be for this long. I thought for sure he’d be dead by now. She was supposed to be out of the picture by now.’

‘You have a fucking wife?’

‘Skyler, it’s not like that.’

‘Do you have sex with her?’

‘Of course not. We don’t even see each other. She lives upstairs in her own room. I didn’t even want to bring her to this thing. Randal made me.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I told you, I didn’t think she’d still be here. Callaway is supposed to be dead.’

‘So what, Drew? Am I supposed to just be the other woman? You know I’m not going to do that. I can’t believe this. What? Is this like some sort of joke? Are there hidden cameras around here? This is absurd,’ Skyler blurted going from one sentence to another.

‘Skyler, come here,’ I demanded, pulling her into my arms. I couldn’t lose Skyler. I loved Skyler. I’d been in love with Skyler since the first time I saw her almost three years ago. ‘Just let it ride for a little while. I’ll figure something out,’ I promised her, and then pulled away from her when the door opened. Callaway was running his mouth about my new wife. I couldn’t be seen with her.

Skyler shook her head, knowing exactly what had just happened, why I pulled away. ‘You look me up when you’re ready for me. I’m not playing second best to you or anyone else. You should know that about me, if you know nothing else. Do you really think you’re the only guy that wants me?’ she asked, looking at me with pure disgust. I knew Skyler was right. Skyler was beautiful. She’d have another man on her arm before the night was out. That infuriated me even more. I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing that. I watched Skyler walk through the swinging doors and right out of my life.”

“And I was once again the cause of all your problems,” I stated, looking to Drew. “I don’t want to hear the rest. I know the rest. I know what happened that night, every last detail, and I don’t think we need to discuss it,” I assured him.

“How about we just talk about how you were feeling that night, Drew, leave out the specifics?” Deidra offered.

“Okay, well, you remember what happened in the—”

“Clearly,” I assured Drew.

But Drew, again, kept on talking. “I ordered Morgan to go to her room as soon as we were in the door. ‘Retire for the night,’ I said, seeing Rebecca. She scurried off to her quarters behind the kitchen. I noticed the look of encouragement she transmitted to Morgan as they dashed in different directions. I went up the stairs and headed down the cold, dim lit hall. Glancing up, I reminded myself to get rid of the ugly paintings lining the wall to Michael’s room. Paintings of dead safari animals that the two Callaway men had shot over the years. That was one thing I never did want from either of them. I hated the thought of shooting an innocent animal for pleasure. The air was heavy and thicker than smoke before I ever reached his door.”

Door? Whose door.

“I felt a surge of nervous energy when I placed my hand on the handle of his bedroom door, another room I wanted to burn to the ground. I hadn’t been in that room in years, never felt the need to ever go back in there until now. I wouldn’t even go in there when Michael was dying and my mother begged me to come and say hi. I wanted him dead, I was only there to console my mother, not him. I knew Michael had a toy box. I’d seen it and I wanted to find it. His daughter was going to play and entertain me.”

I sucked in an unnoticeable long breath of air. That was a bad night, a really bad night, and hearing Drew describe things I knew nothing about, left me feeling helpless. He blamed me.

“I pushed open the door to the dark room, feeling death linger from Michael’s absence. Nobody had touched it since he’d passed. Pill bottles aplenty, a half bottle of water, and needles decorated the night stand. The hospital bed had been stripped and flattened. The chill in that room left my skin feeling like ice, and I shuddered from the unwanted sensation. Strolling over to the adjacent door, I peaked in but didn’t walk all the way through. The empty mirrored room was just as I remembered. Michael’s grandfather had built the room for his daughter, Randal Callaway’s sister. It had one of those stationary dance bars running across the mirror, a small bath, and an apartment sized refrigerator. I wouldn’t wish that torture on anyone. You can’t even begin to know what spending days in a locked room with nothing but darkness does to your sanity. I eventually learned, or tried to anyway, to do what Michael wanted me to do. Some things still landed me in that room and I’d end up doing them anyway.”

“Drew? You were locked in the gym?” I asked shocked.

“I was, and you want to know what I thought about as I stood there?”

“What?”

“I thought about you. I wondered if you were always so wet because you secretly liked the things that I did to you.”

“Drew,” I warned with a look. Why the hell did he freely say whatever was on his mind in front of this woman? Was he right? Had I always liked it? “I didn’t like that night,” I assured him thinking about it. Well, not all of it anyway.

“Let’s stop here,” Deidra requested, looking at the ticking clock over our heads. She probably had the next screwed up couple to get to. I wondered if there was anyway another couple could be as screwed up as we were. Nah, not likely.

Chapter 20

I spent the next couple weeks with Alicia, trying to get them ready to move into Callaway’s estate. Celeste had men working in the kitchen, redoing the ugly tile, having new carpet laid in the baby’s and Vincent’s room, new carpet in the master and living room, and having a wall knocked out to open up the dining room to the living room. Alicia wasn’t happy about any of it. She was fine with it the way it was, but like me, she did what Celeste wanted.

“Alicia, how can I get a copy of Michael’s death certificate?” I asked, holding the tiny baby while she painted pink trees. Nicholas played with an unused paintbrush, banging it on the paint pan Alicia had given him. He could care less about the diaper-bag full of toys. He had something new.

“What do you mean? Doesn’t Drew have that someplace?” she asked, not turning to look at me while meticulously outlining the pink with a darker pink on a branch.

“I can’t ask him. You should know that by now.”

“What do you want it for?”

“I found a key to a deposit box. That’s where I went when Drew called you that day. They wouldn’t give me access without identification.”

“What do you think is in the box? Why not just give the key to Drew and tell him?”

“I don’t know. I want to see it before he does. I think he forgot about it.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because he was here a couple weeks ago, tearing the office apart, looking for a key.”

“He was? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know it was important, and I didn’t know you had it. You should probably just give it to him.”

“I can’t now. He’d be furious because I didn’t tell him.”

“Tell him you found it today, cleaning or something.”

“No, just don’t say anything to Celeste about it. I’ll wait. I need to get in his office, do some investigating.”

“Like that’s going to happen. You’re watched in every room of your house. You can’t even get out of the man’s sight.”

“He just worries about, uh, Nicky,” I said, pulling the bristles from Nicholas’s mouth for the tenth time. He squealed, kicked his little legs, and resumed the drumming to the tin pan. “This house is full of cameras too, by the way,” I reminded Alicia.

“Oh no, it’s not. I had them all taken out except for the ones needed for security.”

“Drew just worries, it’s who he is.”

“He does more than that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. It’s none of my business and my wifey has already warned me to keep my big mouth shut. It’s your life.”

“You think he controls me too much,” I stated more than asked.

“No. I think he’s a dictator.”

“He is not. I make my own decisions,” I argued, telling a complete lie.

“Sure you do. Just like the other night when I wanted to help you set up a Facebook page. I thought he was going to have heart failure.”

“Why do I need that? I didn’t want that anyway.”

“Because everyone has a Facebook account. Because you should be posting baby pics of Nicholas growing up and bragging your ass off at how cute he is. Because it’s a social networking site. You know how many book recommendations you can get from there?”

“You give me plenty of those. Have you finished reading Plentiful yet?” I asked changing the subject.

“No, Celeste had other things on her mind last night. I didn’t read and don’t tell me. I’ll finish it tonight. Did it have a happy ever after?”

“I’m not telling you, but the killer is going to surprise the hell out of you.”

***

“Happy Birthday to you,” I softly sang to my big boy, happily waiting for someone to come and get him out of his crib. Pulling himself up by the rail, he bounced up and down, happy to see me.

“He can’t be one yet,” Drew protested, wrapping his arms around me and taking Nicky from his crib. I’m not sure how this baby thing works. Maybe it was a male bonding thing. I don’t know, but when I entered the room I got a happy smile, which by the way I loved, I just didn’t understand it. Drew walked into the room and got a crazy excited baby that couldn’t get to his daddy fast enough. I was the one that did everything for him. I spent the hours playing and reading with him while his daddy stayed locked in his office with Celeste, graphs, charts, conference calls, and figures. Why didn’t I get that response?

Squeezing from between my two boys, I picked up Nicky’s new outfit. “Drew, look isn’t this adorable?”

“Um, no. What’s that for?”

“His party on Saturday. What do you think it’s for, and what do you mean no?” I pouted. I loved his new outfit.

“It looks like something a gay baby would wear. Powder blue? Really, Morgan? He’s not wearing that.”

“Yes, he is. How can you not love this?”

I smiled at my hands-on husband, tossing Nicholas in the air and dropping him to the changing table for a diaper change. “Gay baby? You’re so stupid sometimes. He’s wearing this for his party.”

“Oh, no, I’m not, Mommy,” Drew said, coming after me with a squealing Nicholas. He laughed loudly, screeching with excitement as Drew tossed him to me. “I’ll get him something while I’m out of town.”

“Out of town? You never told me you were going out of town,” I accused, taking Nicky only to have him turn and reach for his daddy again. What the hell?

“That’s because Celeste just called. We have to go to New York to finish up with the transfer.”

“We’re not seeing Deidra today? When are you going to be home? We have the birthday party Saturday.”

“Yes, we’re seeing Deidra. I’m leaving right after that, and I will be home Saturday morning. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” I whined.

“I’m leaving so I don’t have to leave anymore. After this we won’t have to go back to New York.”

“I don’t want to see Deidra today. Let’s cancel,” I tried. Drew and I had been doing great and had the most amazing sex before getting out of bed. I didn’t want to ruin that. It seemed like one of us always left her office pissed off.

“Get ready, we’re going,” Drew dictated.

***

“Okay, so we’re half way into the marriage. Drew pretty much mostly works and only talks to you when he wants sex? Is that correct?” Deidra asked me.

“Yep, that pretty much sums it up.”

“And Drew, it was only you and Morgan at this point? No more Skyler or Valerie?”

“Well, sort of. I mean no more Valerie. I did see Skyler one more time.”

I shot Drew a dirty look. Three years of being at his beck and call and he was still fucking Skyler.

“Tell me about that.”

“Yeah, Drew. Tell us about that,” I smartly mimicked.

“I guess that’s when I knew I didn’t want Skyler. I wanted Morgan,” Drew began, walking towards the window.

Oh boy. This was going to be good. He walked to the window when he was about to talk about something and couldn’t look at me.

“I was watching Morgan on the camera read a recipe with her finger on the page from California one evening when my phone rang,” Drew began his habitual narration. “I hadn’t talked to Skyler in months, maybe even a year. I answered my phone, sitting up and smiling at Morgan when she made a funny face tasting the batter, she’d obviously left out an important ingredient,” Drew explained, smiling back at me.

I smiled too, surprised that I amused him with my cooking endeavors. I actually remember that day. He was gone for over a week that time, and I knew he was in Los Angeles. I was making chocolate chip cookies.

“I was pleasant to her, asking Skyler, ‘Hi, how are you?’

‘I’m doing well. I just got off the phone with Jena. She told me you were in Los Angeles.’

‘Yes, been here for almost nine days now, leading daily negotiations for this store here,’ I replied, wondering where she was going with this. It was kind of random for her to just call. I’d seen her around a few times over the past year, but we barely spoke. It was best that way. I seemed to always go home and take it out on Morgan when I talked to her.

‘I’m in LA too. Meet me,’ she requested.

I looked back to Morgan, stirring chocolate chips into the bowl that I was now sure were cookies. I hadn’t been with anyone but Morgan in almost two years. I wasn’t really sure I needed to. Jesus. What was I thinking? Of course I needed to. ‘Okay, where?’ I replied. We set up a neutral location at a place she’d recommended to eat.

I smiled, entering the restaurant, and seeing Skyler in red. She did that for me, I was sure. Her lips didn’t feel the way I’d remembered when she stood on the tips of her toes and kissed me. It felt, awkward kissing her, foreign, not Morgan’s lips maybe? I don’t know, it was just different.”

Good, stupid little tramp.

“We sat at a dark corner table and discussed our lives and what we’d been doing.

She looked disappointed when I told her that I was still married and Callaway was doing well. She had been living in France for the past couple years, almost got married, she explained with a sad smile. ‘Seems like somebody else always wants my man,’ she stated, sipping her wine.

I wasn’t really sure how to respond. I felt bad for her and didn’t want her to feel rejected or second best, but Morgan didn’t really choose me. Morgan would have never chosen me.”

You got that right.

“I couldn’t believe I was saying to Skyler, ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re beautiful, some lucky guy is going to come along and sweep you clean off your feet. You watch.’ I was actually okay with that.

‘But it’s never going to be you, is it, Drew?’

Looking down, I circled my water glass with my finger. ‘I don’t know, Sky.’ I didn’t know. I didn’t know what the hell was happening to me. Something was transpiring, leaving me with an uneasy feeling that I didn’t know how to deal with. I had never felt it before the last few months, and I was fighting with myself more and more to get a handle on it.

‘Can I stay with you tonight?’ Skyler asked, placing her and over mine.

‘Yes,’ I answered.”

Dumb hussy.

“Excusing myself, I told Skyler, ‘You can pour us a glass of wine.’ I didn’t really need to go to the bathroom. I needed to see Morgan. It was crazy. I had Skyler in my room, miles from home, miles from Callaway, and I was thinking about Morgan. I opened my laptop and instantly smiled seeing her laying on the sofa, book on her chest. I snickered when I watched her sit up, shake her hands anxiously, and bite on the end of her bright pink nail. Why she read those books was beyond me? She always seemed so on edge when reading them.

‘You okay in there?’ Skyler called.

‘Yes. Coming,’ I called back, closing the laptop.

The entire night was somewhat of an awkward mess. Everything I did, every body part I touched, I was comparing to Morgan. Morgan’s nipples were smaller. They matched her small soft breasts. Skyler’s were firmer, bigger and the implants caused her nipples to stretch. Morgan’s hip bones stuck out more, digging into my waist when I fucked her. Skyler’s tongue danced in rhythm with mine. Morgan didn’t really kiss me back. What the hell was I doing? My dick was inside of beautiful Skyler, and I was thinking about Morgan. I moved the guilty thoughts to the back of my mind. They were absurd. I wasn’t really cheating on Morgan. I didn’t love her. I loved Skyler. Didn’t I? It wasn’t really cheating, not when you were forced to marry your wife. Was it? Why the hell did I even care? I wasn’t that type of man. I could fuck anyone I wanted. But I didn’t. It was only Morgan, she was always enough. I was surely losing my mind. Why the hell couldn’t I get Morgan out of my thoughts? She didn’t belong there. She’d never belonged there. It was always Skyler. Skyler was right for me. She came from the same walk of life, money, power, looks, not that Morgan wasn’t beautiful, Jesus, why did I keep thinking about Morgan?”

I couldn’t help the boasting going on as my heart did a happy dance, knowing Drew was thinking about me, obsessing over me, and choosing me over Skyler.

“Closing my eyes, I tried to focus my attention on Skyler beneath me. My beautiful Skyler was in my bed, long wavy haired Skyler, with legs of an angel, eyes soft as cotton, delicate lips, curvy, but thin. Oh, my god, I was describing Skyler with Morgan’s picture implanted on my mind. Pumping harder in and out of Skyler, I centered my thoughts on the sex, putting more effort in it than it should have been. That lasted about as long as it took me to think about Skyler’s arid pussy which led me to think about other things. Morgan was always wet for me, maybe she didn’t hate me as much as she let on.”

“She did,” I assured him. I didn’t mean to interrupt or say it out loud. It just fell out of my mouth.

Drew snorted with a half-smile and continued, “I left Skyler sleeping in my hotel bed around midnight. Turning my laptop right to Morgan’s bed, panic struck briefly while I switched views from room to room, finding her curled into a little ball on her bathroom floor. I observed her, wondering what the hell she was doing and then watched her jump up and heave into the toilet. She was sick. I felt like a real shit. She was home sick, and I was in LA screwing someone else. Wait. I didn’t care about that. Drew Kelley didn’t do empathy. I was so fucked up.  I waited for her to finish before dialing her. She moaned, dragging herself from the floor and plopping sideways across her bed.

‘Hello,’ she moaned.

‘Are you sick?’

She didn’t even try to hide the eye roll. ‘Yes, can I talk to you tomorrow?’

‘What’s wrong with you?’

‘I don’t know, Drew, stomach flu, I presume.’

‘Do you need a doctor?’

‘No, I just need to sleep. Can I please talk to you tomorrow?’ she begged.

‘Yeah, yeah, if you need anything you have my number, right?’

The fuck you expression didn’t go unnoticed. ‘Yes, I have your number. Bye.’

‘Night, Morgan,’ I quietly spoke to myself.”

My god. Drew had a photographic memory. He described our conversation as if it was yesterday.

“I continued to watch Morgan sleep, still dressed in black slacks and a satin blouse. She stayed on top her covers, running to the bathroom two more times within the hour. Finally settling down, coiled in a tight little ball with her arms hugging her waist, she seemed to be resting.”

Chapter 21

“I lay on my side of the bed, facing Skyler for a long time before drifting off to sleep. I warily watched her sleep. I shouldn’t have been so impetuous. She shouldn’t be there. I wanted to be home and hoped like hell the negotiations would wind down in the morning. I was leaving Derik to deal with it if it didn’t. I needed to get home for whatever reason. I was up before daylight, checking on Morgan. She was back on the bathroom floor still dressed in her clothes. Why the hell wasn’t Rebecca there taking care of her? It pissed me off and I walked out to the balcony to call her. What the hell did she think I paid her for?

‘Hello,’ Rebecca, groggily answered.

‘Did you no know that Morgan was sick?’ I snapped.

‘I knew she didn’t feel well last night. Why?’

‘Did you give her anything? She’s sick. Do you think maybe you could go take care of her?’

‘Yes, sir. I’m on my way right this second.’

I hung up, watching the camera views as Rebecca made her way upstairs. She helped Morgan up, started a bath, and left her to soak while she went back downstairs. Rebecca made a tray with a glass of sprite, saltine crackers, and a medicine cup full of pink stuff.

Feeling better about Rebecca being with her, I showered and dressed for what I hoped was our last meeting.

Skyler entered the bathroom and wrapped her arms around my waist from behind. ‘Are you sneaking out on me?’

I smiled a weak smile through the mirror. ‘I’ve got to get going.’

‘How long are you in town for? Should I wait here for you? Maybe we can catch a show later.’

‘I can’t, Sky, I’m heading home as soon as this meeting is over. I’ve been gone for nine days now. There are things I have to get back to.’

‘Like a wife?’

I didn’t answer.

‘You’re different, Drew.’

Turning to her, I tilted my head. ‘How so?’

‘I don’t know. You’re not into me like you once were.’

‘Skyler, you left me, remember? Besides, we haven’t been around each other for a few years now. How do you expect me to be with you?’

‘I guess I want you to still want me. Do you still want me, Drew?’ Skyler asked, coming to the tips of her toes with her lips close to mine.

‘I don’t have time to want anything right now. Callaway has pretty much passed the buck to me. I have a lot on my plate right now.’

‘You still need love. I know you,’ she accused, softly kissing my lips between words.”

Ahhh, how fucking sweet.

Drew continued, “I snickered. Love? No. I didn’t need that shit. ‘I’m good in the love department.’

‘Sex? Do you have sex with her, Drew?’

‘Yes,’ I honestly told her. She dropped her hands and took a step back.

‘You’re in love with her,’ she accused with a dramatic expression like it had just dawned on her.

What? No. That wasn’t it. I wasn’t in love with Morgan. No way. That was absurd. ‘No, Skyler. I’m not in love with Morgan. You left. A man has needs.’

‘I can name five girls that would do you in a heartbeat. I don’t think that is what it is—at all.’

‘It is. I told you. I’m busy. She’s convenient.’

Taking a step back to me, Skyler wrapped her arms around my neck with a sly grin. ‘This is your lucky day. You see, the thing is, I’m sort of available now for your convenience. I will be back in Vegas in a few days. Maybe we can pick up where we left off and so you don’t have to settle for that piece of trash anymore.’ Skyler offered herself to me.”

I’ll give you trash, you little home wrecker.

“I moved her arms from around my neck and tightened my tie. Morgan was far from being trash. She could give Skyler a run for her money any day of the week, all day long. Maybe not when she first came, but now, wow. The dance lessons served her well, she could turn every head in a room, and she often did. She didn’t have the fake mundane laugh that Skyler had. Morgan’s laugh was genuine and made my days brighter. I turned my laptop on to see her doing trivial things so many times when I was away, hoping to catch her laughing at something silly, which she did often. Skyler didn’t know her. She had no right.”

“You felt that way then, Drew?” I had to ask. I was shocked. I still hated Drew then, well, most of the time anyway. I guess there were moments, but not many.

“I did, Morgan,” Drew admitted, getting back to his story. “Skyler asked me with a frown, ‘What? You don’t like that idea?’

‘I’ve got to go, Sky. Call me,’ I cowardly said, kissing her on the cheek.

I answered a call from Callaway in the cab. He wanted to know if I had this deal in the bag or if he needed to come and take care of it, like he could do any more than I was already doing.

‘When will you be back? The Martinez’s are having a party for their daughter tonight. I want you and Morgan there.’

‘I am hoping to be out of here by noon, but I’m not going to any party. Morgan’s sick.’

‘What do you mean she’s sick? Does she need a doctor?’

‘She says she doesn’t. She insists that it’s just a bug. I will give her until tomorrow. If she’s still sick, I’ll take her to the doctor.’

‘Maybe I should go over there.’

‘No, you shouldn’t. She’s got Rebecca there. She’s taking good care of her.’

‘You call me if she gets any worse. You hear me?’

‘Yes, sir. I’ll give you a call after this meeting.’

I arrived home around four in the evening. Sprinting upstairs, taking two at a time. I saw Rebecca reading in a nearby chair while Morgan slept, and I nodded for her to leave. I sat on the edge of the bed and brushed Morgan’s hair from her face.

‘She’s burning up,’ I alleged, looking at Rebecca before she had a chance to get out of the room.

‘She’s not as hot as she was, and she hasn’t gotten sick at all today.’

I looked back to Morgan’s heated face. She never stirred. Normally when I came to her room, I instantly got the death glare, even if she was sound asleep.

‘You can go,’ I dictated.

‘I’ll bring you both some supper. Maybe you can get her to eat. I haven’t had any luck.’

I didn’t reply. Walking to the bathroom, I remembered my mother, placing a cold cloth over my forehead when I had run a fever as a boy.

Morgan jumped from the cold. For a split second I felt like the biggest ass on the face of the earth. She hid her face with her arm. Startled from her sleep, she thought I was going to strike her.”

I did do that. I remember.

“I said, ‘Lay down,’ trying to sound calm and soothing. I didn’t know how to be that way with Morgan. It wasn’t in my nature to be loving towards her. That is how I was feeling though. I wanted to be there and take care of her. I didn’t know how. She looked at me cautiously, not trusting me. Placing her head back to the pillow, I covered her head with the cloth.

‘Did your mother do this when you were sick?’ I asked.

‘No, not really, maybe. I don’t remember,’ she replied, still carrying the careful look.

She had every reason to be cautious. She knew me, knew I’d been gone for nine days and knew I’d need to be taken care of. She was right. After sitting up, eating a little and admitting that she did feel better, I fucked her. I didn’t make her do anything other than lay there for me, nonetheless, it was pretty heartless of me. I could feel the heat radiate from her skin as my hand held her hips. I hadn’t planned on doing that at all. I’d just had sex with Skyler, I didn’t really need the sex. It wasn’t the sex at all. I don’t know what it was, a way to keep my feelings and emotions intact? I’m not sure, but once I tenaciously used her for my pleasure, I left her.”

That part left me feeling a little sad. I was appalled that Drew hated me enough to make me do that being sick. I remember, repeating in my head over and over, don’t get sick, Morgan, don’t get sick.

“Watching her from my office, she did as she always did, walked to the bathroom to shower, trying to wash me away, I was sure. She didn’t feel better at all. She held her herself up, placing her hands in front of her on the shower walls. She didn’t even wash, just let the water run over her for a little bit, securing her stance with the shower tile. She dried herself, wrapped the towel around her midsection, and dragged her feet back to her bed. Dropping the towel to the floor she crawled back into bed, naked. She didn’t even have the energy to get dressed and I made her fuck me.”

Hmmm, he did feel bad about that.

“Dialing Rebecca, she spoke, ‘Can you bring me something for a headache?’ before dropping her head back to her pillow, still holding the phone, too weak to hang it up.

Morgan slept the entire night. She tried to wake up enough to drink the fluids that Rebecca was forcing down her, but refused to eat. She slept, and slept, and slept, until eleven the next day.

‘Drew, come on, dude. We’ve got to get this shit done,’ Derik whined, protesting my need to go to Morgan. She may need a doctor. She shouldn’t still be this sick. I couldn’t concentrate on the numbers from the last quarter. My eyes and attention kept going to my computer screen to my sleeping wife. Derik and the accountant were getting pissed, wanting to get through the complex figures.

‘You two keep at it. I’ll be right back,’ I said, leaving them alone. Derik knew what the hell was going on. He could handle it without me. Shaking my head, I realized that I was putting Morgan before my business. What the hell? I didn’t do that.”

Silent squeal.

“Sitting on the side of her bed, she opened her eyes, cautiously, shifting her eyes around the room and landing them on me with a smile. She actually smiled at me, well, maybe it wasn’t at me, but it felt like it for a brief moment.”

It wasn’t.

“She exclaimed, ‘I feel better,’ pulling herself up. She held the covers over her breasts which made me smile. I never understood why she hid herself from me. I saw her naked all the time, whether I was with her or not.

‘That’s good. I was going to call a doctor.’

‘You don’t need to do that. I’m fine. I’m just going to get up and take a bath. I think I’m kind of hungry,’ she said weakly.

‘You get a bath and I’ll have Rebecca bring you something to eat,’ I thoughtfully offered, pulling the covers hiding her breasts. She looked past me while my thumb brushed over her nipple. Her skin felt soft and had lost the heat from the fever.

‘I’m really glad you feel better, I’ll see you later,’ I promised, pinching her nipple between my fingers with a little bit of a twist. She didn’t reply. She’d learned that it was best that she didn’t. She seemed to have a hard time replying without saying something smart. I almost wished she would sometimes. She was very quick witted when she wanted to be. Knowing it usually ended in her bent over my lap, she typically refrained.

Trying to listen and go over the last quarter with Derik and Pete, I loosened my tie and unbuttoned the first two buttons of my shirt. It was suddenly hot in the office. I turned the cuff up on my sleeves a couple times and tried to keep up. Sweat beaded off my head, and I suddenly felt a little queasy. Fuck. I couldn’t be sick. I didn’t have time to be sick.

‘You alright, man? You look a little pale,’ Derik asked.

‘Yeah, we’re done here. I think we’ve gone over enough. You can finish it, right, Pete?’

‘Sure, no problem. I’ll report back to you once I’m finished,’ he offered, standing and gathering his things. Derik followed, answering his phone.

I removed my tie walked out to the empty house. I heard Rebecca and Morgan talking in the kitchen but didn’t really care what they were saying at the time. I was on a mission. I hurried to my room, made it to the bathroom and released nasty bile to the toilet. Holy shit. I felt horrible. I wasn’t sick. No. I wasn’t sick, there was no time to be sick. I had a meeting with a client, coming to the house tomorrow. It was big, the owner of Sheffield’s Casino. This would be his third wife. He’d always purchased his rings from Callaway Jewels, and like the Callaways, you didn’t put him off for anything. He’d go buy a half million dollar ring from someone else. I was sure of it.

I didn’t wait until I was down like Morgan. I sat on the edge of my bed and dialed Dr. Reynolds. Of course he was busy and had to call me back. I lay across the bed with my shirt open, trying to cool down. It was so hot in my room; I could feel the sweat run down the back of my neck.

Dr. Reynolds returned my call twenty minutes later, informing there was nothing he could do. It was stomach flu that was being passed around, and the only thing I could do was let it run its course. It should only last forty eight hours or so, I was informed. I didn’t have five hours to be sick, let alone forty eight. Fluids and rest, that was the prescription.

Okay, if I was going to do this, I was getting rid of it as quickly as I could. Walking to the kitchen, Morgan and Rebecca halted their conversation. It was stupid. I listened to all of their conversations, and they knew it. Why they always stopped when I entered the room was beyond me.

‘Do we have more Sprite?’ I asked, pouring the rest in a glass.

‘No, I kind of forced it into Morgan,’ Rebecca explained. ‘Are you sick? I can run out and get more.’

‘Would you? I’m not sick, just a little queasy,’ I tried telling myself more than her.

Slamming the glass to the island, I darted to the bathroom, feeling the inevitable in the back of my throat. This was bad. This was so bad. I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. How the hell did this happen? I didn’t get sick. I hadn’t been sick since like high school.

‘Here, you should get out of those clothes and into something a little more comfortable. You’re not going anywhere for a couple days,’ Morgan assured me, handing me a wet washcloth. I looked up at her peculiarly. Why would she help me? She should be doing some sort of happy dance. I jerked the cloth from her hands, covering my face with the coolness, moaning, sure that I was dying.”

Drew wasn’t lying about that, not that Drew really lied anyway. He always told the truth, whether you liked it or not, but he was right about dying. I prayed that I would die when I felt the way he was feeling. It was horrible, pure hell.

“Morgan coaxed, ‘Come on,’ pulling me from my seated position. I let her help me, thinking we were going to my room. She led me to the living room where I practically fell to the sofa. I felt so drained, like I had no energy at all.

Morgan squatted in front of me and removed my black dress shoes and socks. I watched her, wondering what went through her mind. She was taking care of me. Why?

‘Take your pants off. I’m going to see if I can find a t-shirt in your room. Is that okay?’ she asked, turning back.

‘There are some white cotton shirts in the armoire,’ I helped. I should just go in my bed. That was a nice thought. I didn’t feel like I could move. I was barely strong enough to remove my dress slacks.

I held the not so cool cloth over my face, observing all the unwanted feelings. Sitting up, wearing only black designer boxers and my unbuttoned shirt, Morgan pulled on the end of my sleeve, helping me out of my shirt.

‘I don’t want that,’ I whined when she tried to put the t-shirt over my head.

‘Lay down,’ she commanded. I looked at her, seeing something in her that I’d never seen before. She wasn’t being a bitch, she wasn’t looking at me in anyway but empathy, like she cared.  I didn’t get it. I scooted up to the end of the overstuffed sofa, dropped my head, and moaned.

The room was dark when I woke. I could feel the inside of my mouth start to water. The room felt like the walls were closing in when I opened my eyes, feeling a bit of vertigo. I didn’t even see Morgan, sitting in the chair, but as soon as I sat up she was right there, right there holding the trashcan. Thank god she thought of that. I would have never made it to the bathroom.

She disappeared while I hurled what was in my stomach and then dry heaved. I was going to die. I wanted to die. This was the worse feeling in the world.

‘Here, drink some of this,’ Morgan said, holding the glass to my lips, forcing me to sip it. I waited a second, needing to see if it was going to stay down. It did and I sipped it again.

‘What are you doing?’ I asked, lightly wrapping my fingers around her dainty wrist. She gave me a warm smile and pulled away without an answer. I watched her walk back to the chair she’d been sitting in and pick up her book. She opened it to her place, ignored me, and took up reading by the dim lit lamp.

‘Lay down,’ she demanded, peaking over the top of the book. I smiled and dropped back to the pillow.

I watched her read, wondering for the first time about her. I wanted to ask her questions about her life before me, I wanted to know things about her. Jesus, I wanted to know her. I was delusional. It was the fever. It had to be the fever. Closing my eyes, I tried to relax and tell myself I wasn’t going to get sick.”

Chapter 22

Drew’s story continued, “I smelled Morgan’s expensive perfume before I saw her. ‘Hey,’ she softly spoke with her hand on my bare chest. My fingers found hers on their own accord. She pulled hers away. I opened my eyes, trying to determine whether or not I felt better. I needed to feel better. I had a client coming at two. She was no doubt feeling better. She looked amazing. She’d showered, her hair was perfect, and she wore a black pencil skirt with a light pink satin blouse. A bright studded belt with diamonds and pink ice gems circled her waist.

‘Take a drink of this,’ she coaxed. I took the glass, deciding that I didn’t feel any better. I just wanted to lay down and die until this passed. ‘Can you get up? I ran you a cool bath. You need to go to your room and sleep. You have a client coming. Derik is going to take care of it for you.’

‘You stay the fuck out of my business,’ I angrily demanded, instantly getting mad at her. I probably would have hit her had I had the energy.

‘I don’t really care about your business,’ she retaliated, pulling my hand to get up. ‘Derik called your phone about fifty times. I finally answered it and told him that you were sick. He said to tell you to rest and he’d be here to present the deal.’

‘Where is my phone?’ I asked, looking around.

‘Right there,’ she motioned to the table behind the sofa. ‘I put it on silent so it didn’t wake you. Derik had your calls forwarded to him. He told me to tell you that,’ she added. She didn’t want me to think she had anything to do with it. Standing, I really didn’t care. I felt like my legs were going to give out and not hold me. They shook and my uneasy stomach moved to my throat.

‘I want to lie down,’ I said, walking through the house in nothing but my boxers.

‘You need to take a bath. You smell, plus, you’re still pretty hot. It’ll help with the fever.’

Normally I would have protested. I honestly didn’t have the energy to do that. I barely managed to slide out of my shorts and make into the bath without toppling over.

‘You want me to help you bath?’ Morgan asked.

‘Why would you do that?’ I asked, turning to look at her curiously.

She shrugged her shoulders. ‘You’re sick. I know how you feel. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, not even someone I hated,’ she added.

I snickered a little. ‘Do you hate me?’

‘Pretty much. Do you want help or not?’

‘I may take you up on that offer, it could be fun, just not today.’

‘I’m not going to be offering this any other day.’

Smiling, I kindly reminded her that she didn’t decide that. I did. She left.

I would have slept the whole day had Morgan let me. She kept waking me, forcing me to drink. She woke me around six in the evening with a bowl of soup, crackers, and more Sprite. I sat up, feeling like I felt better.

‘What time is it?’ I asked, taking the glass.

‘Six, Derik wanted me to tell you that Mr. Sheffield wishes you well, and to let you know that he got asking price.’

‘Where’s my phone?’ I asked. I needed to talk to him, find out what happened. I didn’t even know he’d been there and gone. Morgan handed me my phone and saw herself out.

The next time I woke was around eleven. I sat up and opened my laptop, wondering where Morgan was. She was in her room, arms crossed, leaned against the windowsill, lost in thought. I wondered what she was thinking about. Was she looking out to a world that she’d never know? She wouldn’t. I would never let her go, not now, I couldn’t. Our arrangement was working out just fine. I didn’t need her dead anymore. I liked having her at my beck and call.

I watched her turn, looking straight at the camera towards the clock. She pulled on a robe and slid her feet into satin slippers. I watched her descend the stairs, switching camera views until I realized she was coming to me. I quickly closed my laptop and scooted down. I had planned on feigning sleep but changed my mind. I didn’t want her to peak in and leave.

‘You’re awake. I’m going to get you something to drink.’

I got up and walked to the bathroom, feeling better. Morgan was in my room when I returned. She didn’t really come in here. I didn’t really allow it, just the few times when I’d had too much to drink and wanted to play with her or punish her.

‘You look better,’ she assessed, altering the stale soda for fresh.

‘I feel better, I think,’ I replied, sliding back under the covers. I still felt weak as hell. I wouldn’t be running any marathons, that’s for damn sure.

Morgan nodded with a cold stare.

‘Well, night,’ she said, turning to leave me.

‘Stay, Morgan,’ I commanded, trying hard to make it sound like a request more so than a demand. It didn’t really come out that way. I didn’t know how to talk to Morgan that way

‘Excuse me?’

‘Stay here tonight.’

‘Why?’

I gave her a look of warning. She was pissing me off. She wasn’t allowed to ask why. She knew that. She took a deep breath and obeyed, knowing it was in her best interest.

‘Take your clothes off,’ I requested.

Morgan wasn’t modest about it like she had been at first. She looked past me—as she always did— and undressed for me. She didn’t even look at me when I told her how beautiful she was. Her eyes stayed focused to the right of my head. She was beautiful, I meant that.

‘Come here,’ I whispered.

She stood by my side and let me fondle her beautiful soft curves.

‘You’re still a little warm,’ she spoke as my lips met her erect nipple. She was probably feeling the heat from my forehead on her skin. I knew I was still warm and didn’t feel the greatest, but this wasn’t really about me. I wasn’t going to tell her that of course. I kind of wanted to reward her for being there and taking care of me. I was a little taken aback by it. She didn’t have to do that.

I pulled her over my lap and rubbed her ass. She tensed, waiting for the blow of my hand. I didn’t hit her. I brushed my hands over her soft ass for a bit and then moved my fingers between her legs.

‘Do you want to come?’ I asked, dipping my middle finger deep in her already wet pussy.

‘Yes,’ she answered with the only answer she was allowed to use, knowing I really wasn’t going to let her. I was though. I wanted to make her come. I guess it was the only way I knew how to say thanks without really saying it.

‘Roll over,’ I told Morgan.”

“You were nice to me that night,” I interrupted again, remembering. You took care of me, but didn’t ask for anything in return.

“I took care of you because you took care of me. I wanted you to know that I appreciated you,” he said as he looked to me and then to Deidra.

“You did?”

“Yes, love. I did. I didn’t know how else to show you then.”

My lips curved up in a heartfelt smile. I felt loved. That was one of the good nights with Drew. He used his fingers with his head on his pillow too weak to lift it, and then held me close to his fevered chest as he slept, sick as a dog. Maybe I was falling for him back then too. Nah, not really. I still hated him most the time.

***

“We’re okay, right?” Drew asked, holding me tight. He didn’t want to leave after our session. I’m not sure if he was feeling insecure or he was afraid I was. I was feeling insecure. I hated Thursdays as much as I loved them.

“Yes. We’re fine. Get out of here before I don’t let you go.”

“Do you want me to stay? I can send Celeste and do a video conference,” Drew offered. As good as that sounded, I wasn’t going to let him do that.

Standing on the tips of my toes, I kissed him. “Get out of here before I take you up on that. I love you. Call me later.”

“But it’s Nicky’s birthday. I should stay,” Drew replied, trying to talk himself out of going as much as he was fighting to make himself go.

“Nicky, doesn’t know that. He’s going to think his birthday is Saturday when we have his party and he sees those pictures of his daddy holding him while we sing happy birthday. Go get Celeste, and go to work.”

“I love you, Morgan. I love you more than anything on this earth and no matter what I say or do, nothing is going to change that. Please don’t give up on us.”

“Drew,” I said, pulling back, looking up to him, bewildered. “Are you afraid I’m going to leave you?” Okay, I knew he was feeling uncertain, but I didn’t realize the extent of his insecurity.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“I’m not going anywhere—ever.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, now go to work,” I ordered, needing him to go before I begged him to stay.

“I’ll call you after the meeting,” Drew promised, kissed me on the head, and left.

I played with Nicky for a while and then laid him down for a nap. What was I supposed to do for two days? I should have told my mom to come a couple days early.

“What are you doing?” I asked, calling Alicia.

“Meeting Deidra for supper and a movie. Want to come?”

“I don’t think Drew will let me.”

“Oh, my god, Morgan. Stop letting that man run your life. You can have a girl’s night without asking Drew’s permission.”

“I’m not sure Marta will want to stay and keep Nicky.” I tried, I did need Drew’s permission. He would be irate if I went without asking him first.

“You’re so full of shit. Drew would never leave you if Marta wasn’t going to be there with you. Come on. Go with us. When was the last time you went to a movie?”

“I’ll call you back and let you know.”

“Okay, we’re leaving at six. Text me and let me know what the master says.”

“Yeah, yeah, see you later.”

Why the hell was I so nervous about calling Drew? Alicia was right. I didn’t need to ask. I’d just call him out of courtesy, let him know what I was doing so he didn’t worry. I was almost twenty-nine years old. I didn’t need to ask permission. Shoot. I couldn’t call him while they were in the air. Drew wouldn’t land until seven. I did want to go. Would he be mad? Of course he would.

Maybe it would be okay if they weren’t going downtown. Drew shouldn’t mind if we stayed on this side of town. It took me two hours to decide. I was going. There was no reason for me to stay home when Alicia asked me to go out with her and Deidra for dinner and a movie.

I was glad I went. Deidra was a lot of fun outside the office with an attitude that didn’t take any shit. We went to a little Italian restaurant on the side of town that Drew wouldn’t object to, well, I hoped anyway. I still hadn’t talked to him.

The waiter had just brought us another wine refill when my phone finally rang. My heart literally stopped, knowing it was Drew.

“Hi, made it okay?”

“Yeah, we’re here, but I can’t talk right now. We’re meeting the buyers for dinner. I just wanted to check in. I’ll call you when we leave.”

“Drew,” I said, stopping him before he hung up on me.

“What, Morgan. I’ve got to go.”

“I’m at dinner with Alicia and Deidra,” I spat out, wanting it over with so I could enjoy the rest of my evening. Drew didn’t speak. Silence lingered for at least twenty seconds.

“We’ll talk about it later. Go home after that.”

“We’re going to a movie,” I said, getting up and walking towards the ladies room. I didn’t want them to hear him yell or take a chance on hearing something he might say.

“Why didn’t you ask me?”

“You were in the air. It’s just us girls, Drew. I need to get out once in a while.”

“You don’t think I let you out?”

“No, I don’t mean it like that. I just mean there is nothing wrong with me having dinner with two friends.”

“Deidra is not your friend. She works for us. You don’t just take off without asking me first.”

“Okay, now you’re being an ass. I don’t need your permission to have dinner with friends. I’ll talk to you later.” I was the one to hang up, and now I was pissed.

“Why the hell do I stay married to that man?” I asked, rejoining my table, and chugging my glass of wine.

“Don’t look at me. I ask you that every day. Ask Deidra. She’s the shrink.”

“Uh-uh, Deidra is not a shrink. Deidra stops being a shrink at five o’clock. Don’t ask Deidra anything that pertains to shrinking,” Deidra exclaimed, downing her own wine, and holding it up for a refill.

“Don’t you have to breast feed?” I asked Alicia, holding her glass for more too.

“Nope, I have five bottles pumped. I’m good till tomorrow afternoon.”

“Hey!” Deidra shouted excitedly. “Let’s ditch the movie and go across the road.”

“Across the road?” I asked the dumb question. I knew what was across the road. I heard the loud music when we crossed the road.

“Yeah, let’s go to the Swiggy’s and drink,” she coaxed.

“I can accept you not working after hours, but with all due respect, you’ve been seeing my husband for months. You know I would be locked up for years if I went to a bar.”

“We won’t tell him. Come on, live a little. You act like you’re fifty. Let’s do it.” Alicia begged.

“Drew will call.”

“And you can’t answer in the movie. The way I see it the movie lasted two and a half hours, giving us till eleven thirty. We’ll leave before then, and he’ll never know.”

“You can’t condone this. You’re a psychiatrist,” I argued, wanting Deidra to intervene, no, needing Deidra to intervene. Drew would kill me. I was sure of it.

“I’m not telling you to go to a bar. I only suggested it. You guys can do what you want, but I’m thinking a few more drinks and some good music sounds better than a romance where we’re all going home alone.”

“Why?” I asked Deidra.

“Why what?”

“I know why Alicia and I are going home alone. Why are you?” I wanted to know. Deidra laughed.

“I’m not sure we should have this conversation. I am still your therapist.”

“So, why don’t you have someone? Are you gay too?” Jesus, Morgan. It must have been the wine. I was being a little bold.

Deidra laughed again. “Are we going to the bar or not?” she asked, evading my question.

“I better not, Drew would have a massive heart attack.”

“Come on. What’s he going to do? Not talk to you? He’ll get over it. We won’t stay long,” Alicia begged.

I wasn’t afraid of Drew not talking to me. That was the least of my worries. If that’s all it was, I’d go in a heartbeat without hesitation. That wasn’t the case with Drew. “One drink,” I caved. One drink couldn’t hurt. I still wouldn’t lie to him and tell him we went to a movie. I would tell him the truth.

We did walk across the street to the mid-sized bar, drank one drink, and then one more. I did step into the bathroom to check on Nicholas. He was sound asleep. Marta was ecstatic that I was out having a good time, and she encouraged me to stay out as long as I wanted. Drew’s seven missed calls didn’t go unnoticed. I wasn’t calling him back, not yet anyway. I didn’t want him to hear the pop band, playing in the background.

By the time the three of us got good and drunk it was nearly two in the morning. I hadn’t even realized it was that late, or that I was that drunk.

“Oh, my god. It’s almost two in the morning,” I exclaimed, retrieving my phone to check the time. The nine calls from Drew didn’t go unnoticed, neither did the twelve text messages and five voicemails.

The cab dropped me first since I was the closest. I was drunk. I’m not sure I have ever been that drunk before. Deidra and Alicia laughed at me when I couldn’t find one of my shoes. I never did find that shoe. I left the one that I did have in the car. What was I going to do with one shoe?

Marta was still up and opened the door for me.

“Marta, I lost my shoe. Where do you think it could be?” I slurred.

“I take you had a good time? That makes me very happy, however, your husband has called here at least ten times.”

“I’m home now, Drew. See me?” I waved to the camera over the stairs as Marta helped me ascend them. My cellphone rang from my handbag. Stumbling up the stairs I laughed, trying to retrieve it and walk at the same time.

“I’m good now, thanks, Marta,” I said, plopping to my bed and answering my phone.

“Hi, lover.”

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Yes, no, well, maybe. What time is it, Drew?” I slurred, then laughed.

“It’s almost three in the morning.”

“Oh, I better get to sleep. Nicky will be up soon.”

“Morgan, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m just going to lay here for a second. I’ll call you back in a minute,” I decided, feeling sleep—or passing out, more like it—overtake my body. I dropped my phone to my side, vaguely hearing Drew call my name.

Chapter 23

My head was going to explode. What is that ringing? It sounded like it was echoing inside my head. Oh lord. Jumping up, I ran to the bathroom, covering my mouth with my hand, making it just in time.

Sitting on the floor, I heard my phone ringing from my bed again. , I couldn’t feel like this today. My mother and Caroline would be here in the afternoon. What the hell did I do? Ignoring my phone that was starting to piss me off, I washed my face and brushed my teeth. It was almost ten in the morning. I couldn’t believe I slept that late. Nicholas had been up for two hours, and I never even heard him. Thank god for Marta. What would I do without her?

“Jesus, Drew,” I finally answered. “Can you give me time to get my balance?” I asked, rubbing my aching head. I needed drugs, very strong pain killing drugs.

“Do you have any idea how many times I have called you in the last twelve hours?” he furiously asked. “Do you have any idea how many times you answered me?”

“What do you want? I’m not feeling the best right now.”

“You know what I want. It’s a good damn thing I am in New York, or you’d see firsthand what I want.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever. I’m going to hang up now. I kind of have a headache.”

“Don’t you dare hang up on me, Morgan.”

“Why, Drew, because you’re going to treat me like I’m ten and tell me how much trouble I’m in?”

“Oh, you have no idea how much trouble you’re in. I want to be there so bad right now, you don’t even know.”

“Great, well, what would you like for me to do? You want me to sit around here all day, worrying about how much trouble I am in? I don’t want to do that. My mom is coming today. I’ll talk to you later. I’m going to find my son and something for this headache.”

“Morgan, so help me if you hang—”

Click

That wasn’t going to be good. I just hung up on Drew. Nobody hung up on Drew. I should care. I tried to care. I just didn’t. I was over it. I had more fun than I’d had in a long time with Deidra and Alicia. I did nothing wrong and Drew Kelley could go to hell. I didn’t care.

That was easier said than done. I did worry the entire day. Even after my mind was occupied with my mother and Caroline, I still worried. At least he had time to cool down. Surely he wouldn’t react with my family being there.

Alicia came over with Vince and the baby in the afternoon. Caroline and Vince played in the pool. My mother made a big fuss over Nicholas, and I barely even got to hold him. I worried about Drew even more after Marta and my mother prepared lunch for all of us. Handing Nicky over to my mom, I walked away to answer my husband’s call.

“Hey,” I answered with a lot nicer tone than I had earlier.

Drew’s tone wasn’t any better. He was pissed. “We’ll be home around seven.”

“Tonight? I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow.”

“Change of plans, my love. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Great, I’m looking forward to it,” I halfheartedly replied.

“I’m sure you are. I see you later.”

It would be fine. He wouldn’t do anything with company, and he’d left worrying about me leaving him. He wasn’t going to hurt me. Just relax Morgan. It’s fine.

That wasn’t easy. I tried my best to stay engaged with my company, go over last minute details for Nicky’s first birthday party, followed up on the decorators and caterer. Alicia left around six, wanting to be home when Celeste arrived. Caroline, Nicky, my mom, and Marta settled in the living room with a Disney movie. I left them for a much needed bath, wanting to look nice for when Drew arrived in one more hour. UGH!!! I was so nervous.

Standing in front of the mirror, I applied makeup and a spritz of perfume. I hadn’t even had time to dress yet when I jumped, startled.

“You look edible,” Drew said from the door with crossed arms.

“Hi,” I said turning to him.

“Hello. Come here.”

Damn, he looked edible too. When he wrapped me in his arms, I breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t mad.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” I countered, kissing his lips.

“Did you? I’m not sure you did. I’m thinking you had quite a bit of fun without me. Am I right, Morgan?” he asked with a look that I knew all too well.

“I did have fun, but I still missed you. Don’t do this, Drew. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You didn’t? That’s funny because I’m not really seeing it that way,” he taunted, circling me and sliding my black robe off my shoulders. Kissing my bare shoulder with his hot lips, I closed my eyes, sucked in unavailable air as I leaned into his chest. “What’s the matter, Morgan? You want to be punished?” Drew asked, running his hand over my naked ass.

Jesus Christ. And there goes my traitor pussy, throbbing like it has its own mind or something. What the fuck was wrong with me? Deidra wasn’t doing shit to fix this fucked-upness. Yes. I wanted punishment. I wanted to be punished right that second.

“Answer me, Morgan,” Drew demanded, twisting my nipple between his fingers and kissing my neck with his ridiculous hot breath.

“Yes,” I managed. I’m not sure who was more screwed in the head: him or me.

I had to secure myself by placing my hand on the doorway when Drew, slowly moved his hand around my hip, up my stomach, and right to my sex. I felt him snicker on my skin when I cocked my leg a little, wanting the contact. He didn’t give it to me. He ran his hand along my groin, over my lips, smoothly avoiding my throbbing clit. , I wanted him to touch me. That was punishment enough right there.

“Get dressed. We have company,” he whispered, tantalizing words to my oversensitive skin. I dropped my arm and the cock in my leg when he walked around me and right out the door. What the hell?

The rest of the night was nothing short of torture. Drew and I stared ridiculous lustful stares all night. Even when he was holding Nicky, playing with him, he looked at me through narrowed eyes, staring electrical sensations right through me. Even when he was carrying on a conversation with my mother or Caroline, he was looking at me.

Taking Nicky from him around eight thirty, I lowered him for kisses from my mother to Caroline, Marta, and then Drew. He lunged at Drew when I lowered him for his goodnight kiss. Drew took him and stood. Shit. I didn’t want him to go upstairs with me yet. It was too early to leave our company for the night, and I’d already promised Caroline that I’d play Wii with her.

“You putting him to bed?” I tried persuading him.

“We’re putting him to bed,” Drew demanded.

Well, shit.

Running water for Nicholas’s bath, I smiled, watching Drew play with him, standing him on the sink in front of the mirror. His laugh erupted like a volcano when Drew tossed him towards his reflection.

Settling on the toilet to watch our little guy play in the water for a bit, I sat between Drew’s legs. He brushed my hair from my shoulder to my back while my fingers caressed his leg. I was very close to the point of no return. I wanted my husband in a bad way. His fingers on my skin, my collarbone and my neck didn’t help much. I wanted his hands all over me. I didn’t want to play Wii with Caroline.

Oh, my god, he was not going to play fair. I figured that out when I came to my knees, wanting, no, needing him to kiss me. He turned his head, kissing me lightly on the cheek.

“You’re driving me crazy,” I whispered to his neck, letting my fingers dance on the hair at the base of his neck.

“You think you didn’t drive me crazy while you were out half the night? You think I want my wife and the mother of my son whoring around in bars while I am out working?”

“Drew, that is not what I was doing, and you know it.”

“Bathe Nicholas,” he ordered, removing my hands from around his neck.

He definitely wasn’t playing fair. I knelt over the tub and bathed Nicholas while my husband moved in behind me, ran his hands over my ass, under my shirt and over the thin satin in my bra. I was sure I could have come through my pants if he would have touched me, given me just a little attention where I needed it.

“You have to stop,” I panted, coming to an upright position and leaning into his chest. That didn’t help. He grinded his erection into my back, torturing me more.

“I’m calling the shots. I’ll decide when I need to stop. You’re in for a very long night, love.” And just like that, Drew was on his feet and gone. Damn it.

“You’re daddy drives me crazy,” I cooed to Nicky.

“I heard that,” Drew called before I heard the door shut.

Nicky and I read The Lost Teddy Bear while rocking in his room. Nicholas didn’t make it to find out where the little boy had lost it. He was out after three pages. I kissed him lightly and laid him in his crib.

Closing the door, I stopped, seeing Drew leaning against the wall, ankles crossed with a steel gaze. Jesus. This was going to be a long night. He was playing with me. He was the cat and I was the mouse.

“Come here,” he demanded.

“I can’t. You’re driving me crazy.”

“Why?” he asked, taking one step, closing the distance between us. Drew didn’t give me time to answer before he was shoving his tongue halfway down my throat. We stood in the hall, making out while his warm hands fondled my back and ribs. I moaned in his mouth, dropped my head for his lips to find my neck and breathed crazy, erratic breaths.

“You want me to fuck you, don’t you, Morgan?”

“Yes,” I panted. , yes.

“Is your pussy wet?”

“I’m sure of it.”

“Jesus, Morgan. You have no idea what you do to me, how much I want you, and how much I fucking love you. You can never do what you did last night again. Do you understand me?”

I would have told the man anything he wanted to hear at that moment. I would have followed him through the gates of hell, drove his getaway car, kissed his feet, I was that into this man. The logical part of my brain stopped working— well, a long time ago—but more so as the tormenting evening continued. I loved my mom and my little sister, but I really just wanted to be alone with my husband.

“Yes, Drew. I won’t,” I promised.

I did forget about my night with Drew for a while when I started playing the video game with Caroline. I loved that kid, although she did kick my ass in tennis, bowling, and even Sponge Bog. We all laughed extremely hard when we danced to Zumba. Even Drew was laughing. That was a good sign, I hoped. It was nearly eleven before Drew dismissed himself to shower and I followed not long after.

I stopped, dead in my tracks upon entering our room. Drew was naked, stroking himself on our bed. My eyes moved from his pumping hand to his glacial eyes.

“You like what you see?” he asked with a cold edgy tone. My mouth suddenly went dry. I knew the attitude; it excited and scared me at the same time. “I asked you a question.”

“Yes,” I replied, reverting my eyes back to his rock hard cock in his hand. I most certainly liked what I saw. I’d been thinking about it all day.

“Good, take your clothes off.”

Undressing, I stood naked, waiting for instructions.

“Let me see your pussy.”

“Where?” I asked, not understanding his half ass directions. This was going to be a long night. Drew wanted to play.

“Did I say to go anywhere? Right there. Spread your pussy lips and show me your pussy.”

“Stop,” Drew said in a sultry tone when I spread myself, running my fingers up my throbbing clit. “Did I say you could touch it? I said spread your lips and show me. I didn’t say a word about touching it, did I?”

“DID I?” he said more forcefully.

“No,” I answered, standing in front of him, spreading myself and halting all movement. Damn it. He was touching himself. And oh, did I like the show.

Drew nodded towards his rock hard cock. This wasn’t my first play date with Drew. I knew what it meant. I went to him, and started to lean over, placing his cock in my mouth. Drew stopped me by holding a fist full of hair.

“You want that in your mouth?”

“Hmm. Mmm,” I moaned. I did want it in my mouth.

“Get on your knees where you belong. You’re going to learn that there is one leader in this relationship. Who is it Morgan,” Drew asked as I dropped to my knees.

“You, Drew.”

“And when are you going to leave this house without asking again?” Drew asked as he coated my lips with pre-come still holding my hair.

“Never,” I submissively replied, tasting his sweet and salty liquid.

“That’s right. If you want to go to a bar it’ll be with me. Understood?”

I moaned, trying to say yes as Drew cut me off, shoving his dick to the back of my throat. We continued this for some time until Drew was getting too close. He wasn’t going to finish that quick. I knew it.

“I need you to bend over the bed, Morgan,” Drew requested in an almost desperate tone. I did as I was told, keeping my feet planted on the floor.

“No, Drew,” I stood when he got his belt. I could take the spankings, I sort of liked his hand imprinting my ass, not the belt. The belt hurt too much.

“Morgan, please. I need you to do this for me,” he begged, pulling me to his bare chest, burying his face in my hair.

“Drew, the belt hurts too much,” I pleaded.

“I know, baby, but it doesn’t last. The welts will be gone by morning. You know they will. Please, Morgan. I need to do this.”

“You need to punish me,” I said in more of a statement than a question. Drew was fighting something that Deidra hadn’t uncovered. I wasn’t sure she ever would.

“This is so fucked up, Drew.”

“I know it is. I’m sorry. Bend over.” He nodded.

Of course he had to go and slip his finger deep inside my pussy, spreading my wetness to my clitoris, causing me to instantly moan. Jesus, I wanted to come. Stiffening and grasping the covers beneath me, I waited, knowing what was coming when he backed away.

“You know I love you, don’t you, Morgan?”

“Yes, AHHHH!” I yelled, feeling the instant sting on my ass. Drew rubbed it away with his soft hand. Mother—that hurt.

“You can’t go to bars without me,” he warned, stepping back again.

I didn’t respond. I couldn’t, knowing what was coming.

It’s a good damn thing our house was so well-built and soundproof. I yelled on every thrash, calming every time Drew soothed the sting with his hand. Finally, after being whipped six times by Drew’s leather belt, he stopped. Thank god. I wasn’t sure I could take anymore. My ass was on fire and felt like it was bleeding. I knew it wasn’t, but I could feel the welts swell up, painting a picture of fine stripes across both cheeks.

“You’re such a good girl, Morgan,” Drew complimented, rubbing the burn. This was the part that was really fucked up. I was hurting, the stinging in my ass was on fire, and yet as soon as his fingers found my nub, my body instantly reacted with pleasure and pain that I can’t describe. “You want me to fuck your pussy?”

“Hmmm, yes,” I moaned, writhing my hips into his fingers.

“Roll over.”

Rolling over, I felt the discomfort of the covers on my newly assaulted ass. I forgot about it pretty quick. Drew pulled me towards him and ran the head of his cock up and down my wet throbbing pussy. I called out in pleasure, watching him apply pressure and circle my swollen nub with his cock. There was just something about Drew holding his hardness in his hand, pressing it firmly into my pussy that did something to me. I loved it. I loved the lustful look as he watched, and I loved the feeling of us becoming one. Drew slid deep into me, holding my hips and hissing through his teeth.

“Fuck, Morgan,” he called. “I need you to roll over.”

“Why? I like it like this.”

“I need to see your ass.”

Flipping over, I wondered what he meant. I had a good hunch that it meant he needed to see the welts he’d freshly added to my ass. I was sure that’s what he meant when he commented on it, or at least that’s how I took it, anyway.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he remarked, rubbing my sore ass. I saw the look in his eyes through the mirror. He had a brooding, doleful look while staring at what I could imagine my ass looked like. I wanted to come so badly that I couldn’t take it anymore. I moved my fingers to my throbbing nub, taking matters in my own hand. Drew grabbed it, shoved my face to the mattress, and held both my hands behind my back.

“Do you think you’re going to come, Morgan?” he asked, conducting himself with more force, thrusting deep in and out of me. If he kept that up, I was going to come regardless. Drew fucked me from behind for as long as I think he could take it before moving on.

“Get on the floor.”

“All fours,” he added when I stayed erect on my knees. I could hear the packet being opened and knew that he was about to put it in my ass, then rip off the condom, and have me swallow him.

“Spread yourself,” he ordered. I hated and loved this tone at the same time. Call me fucked up, call him fucked up, call us both fucked up, it is what it is, and I didn’t see anyone fixing us.

Doing as I was told, I spread myself, feeling the welts with my own hands. Those would not be gone by morning. I was sure of it. I felt the cool gel hit my puckered hole and then Drew’s finger penetrating my ass. I would never know this man’s fascination with my ass, but was sure it would always be there, no doubt in my mind. Drew took no mercy when he replaced his finger with his dick. Normally he eased himself in, giving me ample time to get used to his size. He didn’t do that. He forcefully moved in, crouching down, and fucked me.

I wasn’t going to come. I was sure of that too. Drew grunted, moaned, and hissed. Taking me rough, fast, and hard until he was spent past the point of return.

“Come here,” he breathed heavily, removing the condom. Holding the bottom of my chin, he slid into my mouth with quick, short strokes. “Open up,” he rasped, pulling out and stroking himself off. Moaning, the first bout hit my tongue and then my lips. Drew kept my mouth open by holding down on my tongue with his dick, not letting me swallow at all. My lips, tongue, and mouth was covered in his poison, just like he wanted.

“Swallow me,” he whispered down, pulling out enough for me to swallow him, all of him.

Drew turned and walked away without a word. I stood, frustrated as I had been all day. Damn him. I let him beat my ass with a belt, and he couldn’t even let me come? Fuck that.

“Come and sit in the hot water,” Drew requested.

I stomped towards him with an angry glare.

He stopped me at the door. “Thank you,” he said raising my chin to look at him.

Thank you? Thank you? Really? Thank you? Oh, my god. This man would send me to an early grave.

I gasped when I saw the welts on my ass. They weren’t bleeding but damn close to it. They were not just welts that would go away by morning. These were deep, dark, purple welts. I turned to look at Drew, knowing he was seeing it too.

“You’re okay, get in the water.”

Drew held my arm as I eased myself in, holding my breath when the water hit the painful stripes. “There doesn’t that feel good?” It did feel good. I leaned back, closed my eyes, and tried to clear my head. I opened them when I felt Drew run his fingers between my legs. “Open your legs,” he whispered. Of course the twinge between my legs left me forgetting about the stinging going on behind.

It hadn’t been fifteen minutes since Drew spewed in my mouth. I was a little shocked when I looked to see him stroking himself already hard again. Usually it took Drew at least an hour before he could perform again. It was hot, hot as hell. I loved watching Drew jerk off. Taking his time, Drew paid special attention to my pulsating nub, but not enough to make me come, not until he was ready. As soon as started to call out in long awaited pleasure, Drew stood, jerked himself hard and came with me, all over my chest.

Chapter 24

Drew sent Marta away when my mother and Caroline left the next day. This too was sort of his routine. The honeymoon phase, as Deidra called it. We spent the next four days in total love, unable to get enough of each other. Drew was so attentive towards me, always telling me he loved me, touching, kissing and holding me tight all night long. Drew did love me. I know Drew loved me. He loved me the only way he knew how. And as repulsive as it sounds, I’d take it.

We didn’t discuss any of that with Deidra come Thursday. We continued where we’d left off, right after I took care of him when he was sick.

“So things started to change after that? This is when you knew you were in love with your wife?” Deidra asked Drew.

Drew studied me briefly, trying to find the right place to start. Placing my hand in his as he smiled at me.

“Not exactly. I didn’t let her know that anyway. I went back to being me, and Morgan went back to doing what I told her to do. Some nights, I struggled, some nights were easy.  Callaway helped with the crazy thoughts of me falling in love with Morgan. He started insisting we have a baby, he needed a grandchild.”

“That’s why you were so persistent on me stopping my shots?” I asked.

“Yes, he’d been after me for months. That’s when you ran. That’s why you left, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“You weren’t ready for a child?” Deidra asked.

“I wasn’t ready to have Drew’s child. I was afraid of—of, well, I didn’t want a baby to be—”

“You were afraid of having a monster like me,” Drew stated.

I nodded, not wanting to do this. Drew and I had just spent an amazing past few days together and this was going to ruin it. I hated therapy more and more.

“You were willing to force her to have your child?” Deidra asked.

“I wasn’t about to have a family with Morgan. It would never work, and I didn’t want a child to be put in the middle of this fucked up shit. I wouldn’t hear of it. Of course Mr. Callaway was going to make sure it happened. He threatened, demanding Morgan have a baby, if I didn’t do it. What the hell was he going to say to her? Have a baby or you won’t get any money either? She didn’t even know she had money,” Drew explained, got up and walked to the window, sliding his hands in his pockets. “I wished a million times over I never mentioned it to her. I felt like that was the ending factor, the one that pushed her over the edge. Of course she wouldn’t want to bring a baby into this mess. Who in their right mind would?

Derik drove her over to the library the day after I demanded that she was indeed going to have a baby. I never thought a thing about it when Rebecca asked if Derik could take her. She said she didn’t feel well, that was a legitimate reason. Why would I think anything different?

I was doing some research in my office that afternoon when my phone rang.

‘What’s up?’ I asked, seeing Derik’s name. I looked at the clock on the corner of my screen, thinking they should have been back by now.

‘Dude, I’m sorry man. She was right there.’

‘Will you stop with the dude and man shit. I tell you this every single day,’ I scolded Derik.” Drew paused to face the room, and he said to me, “He always talked like that, didn’t he Morgan?”

“Yes,” I answered, dropping my eyes.

“Whoa, whoa, hold up a second,” Deidra requested, when Drew started to talk again.

I looked up to her and then to Drew, wondering what he’d said that made her want him to stop. She wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at me.

“What was that, Morgan?”

“What?”

“You went totally stiff when Drew mentioned Derik. Why?”

Again I looked to Drew.

“We’re not discussing that,” Drew demanded.

“Morgan, did you have a thing with Derik?” Deidra pressed on.

I wrung my hands and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to talk about this either.

“Morgan?” she coaxed.

“She doesn’t want to talk about Derik,” Drew demanded.

“We’re not moving on until we talk about Derik. Derik seems to be an issue here. Why is Derik an issue? Where is Derik now?”

“Sunshine Villa,” I quietly answered.

“Sunshine Villa?” she asked.

“It’s a nursing home,” I answered.

“Okay, and you’re sad because he’s ill?”

“I made him ill,” I said, letting the guilt devour me.

“What do you mean?”

I looked over to Drew, wearing an expression that I couldn’t read. I could read all of Drew’s expressions. I couldn’t read this one.

“Derik is where he belongs,” Drew piped in. “Derik raped Morgan, and I didn’t protect her,” Drew sadly spoke.

Drew felt guilty for not protecting me from Derik. “It wasn’t your fault, Drew,” I assured him.

“It was my fault. Derik gave me many signs of his intentions towards you. I didn’t read those signs the way I should have. I should have protected you.”

“Who was supposed to protect her from you?” Deidra asked.

Drew looked to the floor. Son of a bitch. I didn’t want this. Wishing I would have never pushed him into this. I breathed a sigh of regret.

“Can we continue, please,” I begged, wanting off the subject of Derik.

Deidra raised her eyebrows and waved her hand to Drew to continue. “You were saying Derik called you,” she reminded.

“Yes, he did. ‘Drew, listen to me. Morgan is gone,’ Derik yelled in the phone.

I stood up. ‘What do you mean, Morgan is gone?’

‘I mean she’s gone. I’ve looked everywhere. She went into the bathroom and just vanished. I was right here, right outside the door.’

‘Find her. Now!’

‘She’s gone, Drew. I’ve looked everywhere.’

‘How long?’

‘Thirty minutes or so.’

I hung up the phone and turned to my computer, hoping her phone was turned on, and on her. YES! It was. I looked at the road, trying to pinpoint where the little red dot was on the map. It looked like it was the highway, heading to the airport. I watched it, dialing the number for the airport. She would have had to use the credit card she carried. I could find out where she was flying by that.

Dropping the phone, I watched the little red dot disappear in front of my eyes. No Morgan Kelley had a flight, my card hadn’t been charged, and she was gone. How could she just be gone? She didn’t know anyone, didn’t know the area except the little neighborhood where she’d gone to the library.

Rebecca knew something. She had to. I knew she did. Morgan wouldn’t have done this on her own. That’s why she didn’t want to take her to the library. She knew she was going to run. Rebecca of course feigned ignorance, swearing she knew nothing. I had no way to tell whether she did or not. I should have paid more attention to the cameras. I shouldn’t have let them go to the library alone, watch movies together, cook, nothing. I should have kept them apart like I did when Morgan first came.”

“And you think that would have been better than where you are now?” Deidra interrupted.

I wanted her to shut up. I’d never heard any of this. I didn’t know how Drew felt when I left.

Drew didn’t respond. He kept right on narrating his story as if she’d never said a word. “Derik pretty much ran my company for the next few months. I would sign my name, give him my okay, and did a lot of blaming. She was in his hands. He let her run. Everything I thought of came up with a dead end. I was sure it was her in the library camera, wearing the wig and the tattooed arm. What I wasn’t sure of, was which one of the librarians or people helped her. The cab that the camera showed her getting into was unidentified. I had nothing.

I even went to Rebecca in California a few months later, begging her to tell me something, anything. She answered the door holding a very pregnant belly, promising that she didn’t know where Morgan was.

Her father was no help. He wanted more money to help me find her, like he could do that. The social worker that I’d worked with—to get Justin—all but told me to go to hell. A few of her cousins told me they heard she’d moved to Florida. I didn’t believe that either. Where the fuck was she? And Callaway, shit, I was coming up with everything possible to hold him off,” Drew explained, running his hands through his hair as though he was frustrated all over again. “Callaway yelled in the phone, ‘Where is my granddaughter?’ when I explained to him for the third time in five months that we would not be attending the Christmas festivities. Morgan didn’t want to fly home. She wanted me to come to her in France. She wanted to spend Christmas in France, I explained. At least I could use the excuse of going to her. I could avoid the festivities as well.

‘Nonsense. She should be with her family during the holidays. I want to talk to her,’ Callaway persisted.

‘Okay, I’ll call you when I get there. Morgan thinks I am her only family, remember?’

‘Yeah, well I still think she should be home for Christmas.’

‘I will tell her how upset you are that she’s not here.’

‘No, no, don’t do that. Just go there and give her the best Christmas she’s ever had.’

‘I will, sir,’ I lied to him for the thousandth time.

The English literature bullshit was fairly easy to get away with. Randal knew how much she liked history and the English behind it.

Morgan literally vanished in thin air. She was nowhere to be found. I knew she had to be hiding out someplace where she didn’t need any identification. She didn’t even have a credit card. How the hell was she eating?

That mystery was solved during the meeting with the accountant for the next quarter. I would have figured it out sooner had I not opted out of attending the last time. I sat alone after the realization of the donated money news and searched every record for the past two years. Shaking my head, I laughed. I laughed a full blown throw your head back laugh. I underestimated her too. Morgan wasn’t such a dumb hillbilly after all.”

Drew looked back at me with a proud smile. I beamed with pride.

“Seventeen thousand dollars to Lisa Fitzgerald’s soup and shelter. Searching for Lisa Fitzgerald and the shelter, I found out—to no surprise—that she and the organization never existed. Thousands of dollars was unaccounted for, all donated to various societies or nonexistent people. She did have money. She had a shit ton of my money, thousands.”

“My money,” I corrected, getting another smile.

Drew continued, “What the fuck was I supposed to do now?  Callaway wasn’t doing so well, but he knew what the hell was going on. I couldn’t hide the fact that Morgan was missing forever. He wanted to see her. He wouldn’t stop until he did.

‘Yes!’ I yelled to the empty office. I’d go to her. I’d leave Vegas and go to my wife. I didn’t really need to live there to work. I could do that anywhere or just jump on a plane and head back when I needed to. It may not have been the perfect solution, but it would hold Callaway off a bit. It wasn’t like he could travel to France to find us or anything.

I settled in New York never giving up on finding Morgan. She had to be somewhere, I just couldn’t figure out where. Derik held down business in Vegas and I traveled…a lot, avoiding Callaway as much as I could.”

“And you just picked up, went on living without her?” Deidra asked.

Drew snorted, shaking his head.  “Living without Morgan was a bit more challenging than I’d ever considered. Actually, I never considered it at all. Never did I think she would just be gone. I’m not sure what it was I was missing about her though, I mean it wasn’t like we were an authentic couple or anything. We’d never had that kind of relationship. Morgan was there to do what I needed Morgan to do and that was it. I didn’t understand why I was having such a hard time with it? It wasn’t like I’d ever loved her or anything. Love her—humph. I’d probably send her to the hospital for a few days if I found her; that’s what I tried to tell myself anyway,” Drew stated, trying to keep me comfortable while he described life without me. “It was over a year and a half since I’d seen my wife or heard from Skyler.”

Great, Skyler, lovely. Here we go again.

“I’d heard that Skyler was seeing the son of Malibu, one of my biggest competitors in the jewelry industry. It was sort of like that rule of your friend dating your ex, you just didn’t to that. She betrayed me as well, and I wanted to see her again too, just to show her what a stupid bitch I thought she was.

I got my wish when I’d flown home to deal with a security problem at one of the Vegas stores. Walking out of a restaurant on Tropicana, I ran right into her.

‘I’ll catch up with you later, Derik,’ I excused Derik to talk to Skyler.

He smiled, nodded, and walked away, flagging a cab. Skyler looked amazing, as beautiful as she’d ever been.

That’s nice, Drew.

Deidra knew what I was thinking and gave me the look. As hard as it was, I kept my mouth shut, biting my bottom lip to keep from saying what I was dying to say.

“I flirted, ‘How are you?’ taking her hand. She let me and ran her thumb over the back of my hand.

‘I’m doing very well, Drew? How are you? I heard you’ve been living in France with your little girlfriend.’

Snickering, I corrected her. ‘She’s my wife, and yes, we’ve been doing some traveling.’

‘Is she here?’

‘No, she stayed back. She’s taking some classes and didn’t want to leave right now. I’m only here for a couple days.’

‘Me too.’

‘You’re not living around here?’

‘No, we’ve been in Chicago for a few months now. I’m just home for my dad’s birthday.’

Turning her hand in mine, I brushed the back of her ring finger. ‘No ring?’

She smiled a weak smile. I knew Kyle Bentley pretty well, she’d be lucky if he ever gave her a ring.

‘Why do you care? You married someone else.’

‘I did, but she’s not here. Come over tonight,’ I asked Skyler.”

“Great, let’s talk about fucking Skyler again,” I angrily spoke up.

“Morgan, just listen, okay,” Drew coaxed.

Pouting, I crossed my arms and dropped to the back of the sofa.

Drew continued, “She asked, ‘Over where? To the mansion?’

‘Yeah, that’s where I’m staying,’ I informed her.”

Chapter 25

“That evening should have never happened. I was sure after that night, I was finished with Skyler and would never spend time with her again. I showered after pouring her a glass of wine. When I came out and she wasn’t there, I took the moment to check a few numbers in my office. Of course I did my daily routine and flipped the camera to Morgan’s empty room. I looked at that empty bedroom and bathroom so many times since she disappeared.

Rage instantly flooded me when I saw Skyler standing in front of Morgan’s closet. I didn’t want her in there. Taking the steps two at a time, I burst in.

‘What are you doing in here?’

‘She has beautiful things. This was supposed to be mine, Drew. Remember?’

‘I don’t want you in here.’

‘You’re in love with her. I can tell,’ she accused.

“Come on.’ I wanted Skyler out of that room.

‘Did you make love to her in this bed, Drew?’ Skyler asked in some sort of soft wicked tone, circling me.”

Great, details…

“I sort of explained to Skyler, ‘We didn’t really make love.’

‘Do you want to make love to me?’

I wasn’t sure I did anymore. I didn’t want Skyler and wondered if I’d ever wanted Skyler. ‘Not here,’ I countered.

‘Why not, Drew?’ she asked, unbuttoning her shirt. ‘Too many emotional feelings for you in here.’

‘What, Skyler? You need to be fucked? Is that what you need?’ I asked, shoving her back to Morgan’s bed. Helping her with the rest of her buttons, I jerked it apart, sending the last three buttons across the room. Something was transpiring in me that I needed to get a hold of. I couldn’t. I was taking the last year and half of my life out on Skyler.

‘Drew—’

‘What, Skyler? Isn’t this what you wanted? You came here to get fucked, right?’ I asked, squeezing her nipple, roughly between my fingers.

I actually laughed when she slapped me right across the face. Storming from the room, I didn’t even turn towards her. I let her walk out of my life for the last time. It’s the weirdest thing ever,” Drew said, contemplating and turning to me bewildered. “I loved sex. I could have been fucking Skyler right that second, but for whatever reason, I didn’t care about that. I blamed Morgan and wanted nothing more than to make her pay, pay for the last year and a half, pay for the hell she was putting me through with Callaway, and pay for stressing me out about not ending up with one penny after all I’d been through with this family.

Callaway was never ending. He never stopped. He unceasingly called, badgering me about where Morgan was, demanding to talk to her, and threatening to disinherit me if I didn’t produce his granddaughter. I spent my time mostly in New York, working, drinking, and more working. Callaway Jewels was doing better, possessed more stores than ever thought, and was making more money than it ever had. I did that. I did it all and would lose it completely if I didn’t figure out what to do about Morgan soon.”

“You would have had money, Drew,” I argued. He worked for Callaway Jewels since he was a boy. He had to have money put away.

“I did, but not the kind of money I was used to, not the kind of money that would let me live the way we live,” Drew explained.

I didn’t care about that. I would be happier living on the beach without the Vegas heat, the too big for us mansion, the fancy clothes and the snooty people we were forced to associate with. I could have very easily walked away.

Drew picked up where he left off, “I knew I was living on borrowed time. There was no way for me to win. If he died, I got nothing. Morgan had to be there to claim her inheritance. If I didn’t produce her soon, he would make sure I had nothing to do with Callaway Jewels or the Callaway fortune. I was in and out of Vegas at least three or four times a month. I flew in, took care of business and got the hell out of there, always trying to stay a step ahead of Callaway.

‘Hello,’ I answered with a sigh. Talking to Callaway became a chore. I would have rather gone to the dentist than hear his voice.

‘You will have Morgan at the mansion this weekend for the Prescott reunion,’ Callaway guaranteed.

‘Yes, we’re flying home tomorrow,’ I lied.

‘I’ve heard that for twenty two months now. I want my granddaughter home tomorrow.’

‘She’ll be there,’ I assured him. I had no clue what the hell I was going to say, but I knew I’d held him off all I could. I couldn’t keep going on like I was. I didn’t sleep, didn’t eat, worked seven days a week, and worried—a lot.

I flew home, dreading what had to be done. Maybe I wouldn’t tell him the whole truth. Maybe I’d make up some bullshit about Morgan having an affair, leaving me for another man. That could work. I’d go in there with tears, devastated that my wife left me. It was fucking genius, get the old bastard to feel sorry for me for once. PERFECT! It would work. It had to. He wouldn’t toss me out to the streets when I was so upset over the sudden departure of my wife. Would he?

‘Maybe I should give him a little heads up,’ Derik suggested, sitting across from me in my office. ‘You know, tell him how upset you are.’

‘Nah, he’d know something was up. You never go over there. Besides, I need you to head to the airport and pick up Mr. Wetly. I need this deal more than I need you going to battle for me.’ Wetly was my very first major sale. I sold him a two hundred thousand dollar necklace for his tenth anniversary. I can’t imagine what he’s going to spend on her for his twentieth.

‘Shouldn’t you be the one to pick him up?’

‘No, you’re my assistant. He’s aware of how busy I am. I’ll meet you at the restaurant with him at seven. Get him settled into the hotel and make sure he has everything he needs. I’ll see you around seven. I’m going over to Callaway’s, pour my heart out to him, and hope like hell he has an ounce of empathy in that wrinkled up body of his,’ I explained to Derik, standing and showing him out.

‘Let me know how it goes.’

‘I will. Have Marta bring me in a cup of coffee on your way out.’

Flipping on my computer, I brought up Morgan’s empty room, wondering how long I was going to keep doing that. She wasn’t there. She wasn’t coming back, and I should probably clean out her room. I needed to put it behind me and move on, one way or another I had to figure out life after Morgan. Enough was enough, and I wasn’t getting any younger.

Contemplating my life while I drove over to Callaway’s estate, I thought about what I’d do. It wasn’t like I was broke. I did get paid. I had some money put back. Maybe I’d move to New York, buy a jewelry store, and start from scratch. I could handle having one store versus twenty. I’m sure my life would be a lot less stressful. Find me a nice city girl and maybe forget about the Callaways altogether,” Drew described, clicking his jaw.  “I felt much better about my life, where I was going, and my future as I drove the long stretch of desert, leading to the Callaway estate. I’d let the Callaway fortune dictate my life long enough. Whatever happened, happened, and I would be okay either way. Hopefully Callaway went in the direction I was aiming; feeling sorry for me and deciding to keep me on. If he didn’t, so be it. I wasn’t agonizing over it for one more second.

‘Yeah,’ I answered Derik through my car phone.

‘Dude! I’m following Morgan!’ Derik practically screamed.”

Oh, my god.  He’s talking about the day I wrecked.

“Feeling my heart pick up a few extra beats, I asked, ‘What do you mean, you’re following Morgan?’ No way. He couldn’t be following Morgan. There was no way she was in Vegas the whole time.

‘I’m following her. I was just getting ready to walk into the airport when I saw her. She took off running and sped away. She’s two cars in front of me.’

‘You’re sure its Morgan?’

‘One hundred percent sure.’

‘Where are you? Don’t let her out of your sight.’

‘I’m following her up Connector. She’s just shot across Tropicana to Paradise.’

‘Stay on her. I’m heading your way,’ I shouted excitedly, shifting to a lower gear and spinning my sports car around on the road. My heart was racing to an unhealthy beat as my mind flooded with adrenaline.

‘Fuck!’ Derik yelled.”

I gasped. Hearing it played out in Drew’s mind dramatized it like reading a mystery.

“I immediately demanded, ‘What?’

‘She just missed getting hit head on. She’s flying in and out of traffic, heading towards the strip.’

‘What the hell is she going there for?’

‘She’s just trying to get away, stay ahead of me. She’s darting in and out of every street she can.’

‘Derik?’

‘DERIK!!!!’ I screamed to the silenced phone. The line was dead quiet. I had no idea where to go. Turning down 1st street, I took a shortcut down an alley, constantly dialing Derik back. I was going to fucking kill him. Ten minutes later I was in the crazy downtown traffic, having no clue where to go while Derik wouldn’t answer his phone.

‘What the fuck, you ass!’ I answered my ringing phone.

‘Drew,’ Derik spoke with a new tone. He wasn’t speaking in the excited tone anymore. Something was wrong.

‘What? If you tell me she got away, I’m going to fucking slice your throat.’

‘She didn’t get away. She wrecked.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Her car drove right under the front of a bus. It’s bad, Drew.’

‘She’s dead?’ I asked, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of me.

‘I don’t know. The bus driver got the fire out with an extinguisher, but I heard the paramedics call for the jaws of life.’

‘Where the fuck are you?’ I knew I was close. I could hear sirens.

‘North end of the boulevard, just south of East Lake.’

‘I’m almost there.’ I hung up. This was what I wanted all along. I always wanted Morgan to die. Morgan dying would solve all my problems. Callaway couldn’t blame me. I wasn’t even with her. This was what I wanted. Why the hell did I feel like I’d just lost a vital organ?”

I wanted to interrupt. I was the vital organ. Drew was talking about me.

“The only thing showing in the little red Honda was maybe two feet of the trunk,” Drew continued, staring blankly out the window, ignoring me. “There was no way she survived. I slammed on the breaks, shut the car off, and ran down the middle of the stopped traffic. I ignored the call from the police officer, telling me to stay in my car.

Running right up to the rubbish, I was held back by two more cops. ‘That’s my wife!’ I screamed, trying to get to her. Why was I so adamant about getting to her? I didn’t care. Or so I kept telling myself.

‘You can’t go any closer. Let the paramedics do their job.’

I watched as the car was cut in two, knowing for sure she was dead when I saw the blood. There was so much blood. Nobody could survive that. The two police officers asked me a million questions that I didn’t know the answer to.

I hadn’t seen her in almost two years. I couldn’t answer anything. Luckily, they took it as I was too shook up to comply. I really couldn’t answer the questions. Why did she have a rental car? Was she just visiting? She wouldn’t come back there to visit. She wasn’t that stupid. I had just as many questions that I wanted answers to.

Morgan was in surgery for nine straight hours. I still had my doubts that she’d pull through, and if she did she couldn’t be right. There was no way. I saw the car. I saw the blood, and I wasn’t extremely hopeful that she’d even pull through surgery.” Drew paused and swallowed heavily. “I should have let you go. I shouldn’t have told Derik to chase you,” Drew said with a shaky voice. He was really shook up by all this.

“I’m glad you didn’t let me go,” I smiled. “Finish, Drew,” I beckoned, wanting to hear now.

“Callaway accused me, ‘You should have been with her.’ He was waiting right beside me for some news.

‘I tried to get her to come with me. She wanted to wait until today. She wanted me to go ahead. I never would have let her had I thought something like this would happen.’

‘Why are they speculating that she was running? Who would she be running from?’

‘I have no idea,’ I lied, running my fingers through my hair.

Callaway stayed right there until the doctor came out looking exhausted. He explained that they managed to stop the bleeding in her brain, but the swelling was rapid. He didn’t know her prognosis. It was too soon to tell.

‘The next twenty four hours are going to be tricky,’ the doctor explained. ‘We’ll see what we’re dealing with tomorrow. I wish I could give you more, but I can’t. We just don’t know yet,’ he apologetically clarified.

‘Can I see her?’ I asked.

‘They’re transporting her to ICU. Someone will let you know when you can see her.’

I wasn’t sure how I’d react when I saw her. Waiting alone after Derik took Callaway and left, I was sure time had stopped. I sat there for another hour, waiting to see my wife for the first time in almost two years. Would I feel sorrow, anger, remorse? I really didn’t know how I felt, not until I was finally shown to her room.

The room smelled so clean, ozone lurked in the sanitized air. Beeping noises filled the room, and she was wired to every imaginable medical equipment you could think of. She didn’t even look like Morgan. Beside the fact that she had a tube down her throat and her chest rose and fell in unison with the sound of the machine breathing for her, she looked dead. Her head was bandaged all the way around and her eyes were swollen shut.

‘There’s probably going to be significant swelling, it’s part of the healing process,’ the nurse explained. I didn’t respond. Walking closer to Morgan, I couldn’t speak. I wasn’t sure how I felt. It was a mixture of emotions, but one that I did pick up on was anger. I was pissed off at her. She shouldn’t have been there, laying there like that. She should have been with me all along. She wouldn’t be in that predicament had she been with me, where she belonged. What the hell was I saying? I should be happy she was there. I should be praying for her death and jumping for joy at the thought of burying her next to her father. She probably wouldn’t even make it through the night.

I never left her that night. For whatever reason, I didn’t want her to leave this earth alone. She’d always been alone. I felt the need to stay with her, make sure if she did go, she wasn’t alone. Did I play the concerned husband, holding her hand, kissing her, telling her how much I loved her? No, I didn’t do that. That emotion was never really a part of me. I don’t think I was born with an empathy trait.” Drew paused, lost in his own head.

I couldn’t help it. I wiped the falling tear, escaping from my right eye with the back of my hand. Drew was staying with me, afraid I’d leave my life alone. It was the most beautifully saddest thing I’d ever heard.

“I sat in the reclining vinyl seat in the corner. The nurses demanded time and time again that I needed to leave. Intensive care didn’t really allow twenty-four hours visitors. I didn’t care. I wasn’t leaving.”

Sniff

“I sat quietly in the dark room, contemplating my life. Hours passed while I listened to the sounds of medical equipment, having an eerie feeling with death lingering in the air. If Morgan died, I could pursue my life with Skyler. I was sure she’d be right there if she found out that Morgan passed.

How would Morgan’s life have been, had Michael cared enough about her to help her, take her or maybe even pay some child support so she wasn’t forced to live the way she’d lived? How could any man leave his child to be raised like that? I didn’t get it. For the first time, I wondered what Michael’s life was like growing up. Was he abused by someone too? Was that why he chose to abuse me?

I did more soul searching that night than I ever had in my life, contemplating things I refused to think about, my mother for one. Why did she allow Michael to treat her the way he had? What would she have done had she found out what he was doing to me? I snickered and shook my head. She wouldn’t have done anything. I remember being thirteen and begging her not to make me go out of town with him for the weekend. I hinted every way I could about being afraid of being alone with him. She scolded me, telling me to never ever speak of such a thing again. That wasn’t even anything too sexual. He’d just come to my bed in our hotel and fondle me. I always fell asleep on my stomach, hoping he’d leave me alone. He didn’t.

I thought about how it made me feel to see my mother broken and bruised because of him. I did those things to Morgan because of him. I did unthinkable things, broke her, bruised her, and worst of all, I put her here, struggling for her life.”

“Let’s wrap it up till next week,” Deidra softly spoke.

Drew turned, like he was being pulled from a daze. I stood when he walked to me, taking both my wrists. “I’m going to call you a cab,” Drew said.

“No, Drew. I want to be with you,” I insisted I didn’t want him to push me away. I wasn’t worried about him snapping. This wasn’t that kind of emotion. This was pain. Drew was hurting, and I wanted to be with him.

“Morgan, I just need to be alone for a bit. Please?”

“I have a suggestion,” Deidra interrupted. “How about a drive? How about you don’t go to work and hide behind exertion? Take Morgan for a drive, out of the city, somewhere quiet?”

I turned back to Drew, hoping he’d say yes. He smiled a weak smile and ran the back of his hand down my cheek. “You want to go for a drive?”

“Yes, I’d love that.” I smiled, feeling like we were getting somewhere for the first time since we’d started seeing Deidra.

Chapter 26

I couldn’t have been happier with my life. Well, other than that stupid key hidden in the bottom drawer in my jewelry box. I still couldn’t get that out of my mind. Drew knew the key was at the estate. Why would he hide it there? There was something very mysterious about the whole thing.

“You’re not leaving this house while I’m gone,” Drew demanded, pulling me from my investigating mind and taking Nicky from my arms.

“Uh? Yeah, okay, I won’t,” I promised, watching Nicholas giggle when his daddy tossed him to the air.

“What are you going to do?” Drew asked,

“I don’t know. Stick around here, I guess. We’ll stay busy, uh, Nicky?”

“I’ll take you to the beach house when I get back on Wednesday.”

“We have to see Deidra Thursday, but I would like to go there.”

“We can miss one appointment.”

“No, we can’t. You were getting to a good part.”

“That’s not a good part. I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later. Stay here,” Drew demanded again while handing me Nicky and pulling close to rub my ass in a warning to heed to his commands. “I love you and you,” he added to Nicky, kissing us both.

“I love you too,” I sighed, bored already, thinking about him being gone for three days again. I couldn’t wait until he was down to enough stores that kept him home. I didn’t want him running all over the world anymore, and I didn’t want to be in bed without him.

Nicky and I sat on the shiny floor and shopped online for some new clothes. I swear that boy grew every day. I hated it. I didn’t want him to grow up. “You like that?” I asked him when he left the red truck for the keyboard, pressing a whole line of letters. “Daddy wouldn’t like that, he says that color makes you look like a sissy,” I said, removing him from crawling across my keyboard.

My days were filled with Nicky and trying my best to keep him on all fours. He was so closed to walking and I didn’t want him to. I wanted Drew to be there to see it too. Every time he let go of whatever he was holding onto, I grabbed him. He was ready, I could have easily gotten him to take a couple steps. As much as I wanted to do that, I wanted to wait for Drew more.

Drew actually saw him take his first step before I did. I was running him bathwater when my phone rang. Nicky was standing by the tub, trying to reach the water. I walked to the other side of the bathroom to get him a towel when Drew stopped me.

“Morgan! Turn around.” I turned just in time to see Nicky’s little naked butt move from the tub to the toilet in three wobbly steps. Of course, his hands went right to the toilet water.

It wasn’t the memento I wanted of his first steps, but at least Drew got to see it too.

***

I anticipated Thursday morning for days, thinking about Drew describing my return, anxious to hear his feelings and thoughts about my reappearance.

I talked first, explaining to Deidra and Drew about coming out of the coma not knowing who anyone was, including myself.

Drew stood and walked away from us to face the dumpster alley, resting his head on the windowsill. Drew began his story, “Five weeks, I waited for this day. Five weeks I waited for her to wake from a coma. Staring myself down in the mirror, I thought about how I was going to feel when she was finally awake. The last few weeks wreaked havoc on my sanity. I was feeling emotions and thinking about things I’d never thought about, ever. Could I hang onto it when she opened her eyes and saw me? Did I want to?

‘You ready? Callaway is coming up the lane now,’ Derik asked, tapping on the door.

‘Why the hell is he even going? He can’t even be in the room when they wake her,’ I complained, straightening my tie.

‘She’s his granddaughter. He wants to be there.’

‘Great. And we just have to arrive in a limo,’ I grumbled again as the car pulled to the front door to pick Derik and me up.”

“Derik was there when I woke?” I asked, interrupting.

“Yes, that was when I thought he was my friend,” Drew replied without stopping. “I felt like I was waiting for my first born, twisting my fingers, anticipating Morgan’s reaction when she saw me. What if she freaked out? What if she blurted the whole truth and disclosed our hidden past?

The remorseful feelings were asphyxiated quickly. Morgan gagged and choked as the tube was removed from her throat. That was the last stage of her being woken from her medically induced coma.

‘Maybe you should come a little closer. It might be good for her to see a familiar face when she wakes,’ Dr. Tharp coaxed, as he watched her confused expression.

Taking a step closer, I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t know how to play this role, nor did I know what Morgan was going to do when she woke. I wasn’t feeling sorry anymore, that’s for sure. Was she really going to play this card? I wasn’t buying it for a second.

‘I don’t know who this is,’ she assured the doctor, pulling her hand away from mine.

‘Morgan, it’s me. Drew. Your husband,’ I persuaded with raised eyebrows.

‘No, I don’t think that’s right,’ Morgan said with a look I’ll never forget. I thought for sure it was all a hoax. It was too dramatized. I just knew she was faking it.

Morgan groggily answered a few questions, asked what was wrong with her, and dozed in and out of consciousness.

‘Let’s let her rest,’ Dr. Tharp suggested. ‘She’s showing real progress and the activity in her brain is showing impressive results. I’m very optimistic about a full recovery.’

I relayed the information to Callaway, and he insisted on seeing her himself. She, of course, didn’t wake and continued her charade of not knowing who I was. I wasn’t buying it, and my new found repentance I’d gained over the past five weeks was replaced with anger. She was playing me for a fool.”

“I wasn’t, Drew,” I responded.

“I know, baby,” Drew smiled. “Morgan spent another week in ICU and was finally moved to her own room where I continued to visit her daily. She still played the amnesia act, pretending not to remember me or anyone else. The next three weeks were spent in rehab. Morgan had to practically learn to walk again. Her muscles needed to remember how to work again after being still for so long. Her broken pelvis caused a great deal of pain while she learned the—taken for granted—skill all over again.

I didn’t spend as much time there once she was in the rehabilitation center, stopping in every day or so. I had a business to run and to be truthful about the whole thing; I was having a hard time stomaching the whole contriving amnesia bullshit. Day after day after day, she insisted she didn’t remember me. She even asked questions about her childhood, her parents, our wedding. It was all a hoax. She was afraid of coming home with me. She knew. She knew exactly what was in store for her. If she didn’t, she’d soon find out.”

A cold chill ran clear up my spine, hearing Drew describe what he had planned for me once he got me back to the house.

Drew said, rubbing his eyes, “I remember Derik, trying to convince me that she wasn’t faking it.

‘I don’t know, man. I don’t think she’s faking it,’ Derik voiced his opinion while we tried to work up a proposal. I couldn’t focus. I was too worked up about picking her up, bringing her back here and resuming our roles as husband and wife.

“She’s faking it, Derik. I can tell. I saw her wipe away a tear the other night when she thought I was sleeping in the chair. What would she be crying over if she didn’t remember? I’ll tell you what. She knows she’s found. She knows she’s coming back here. She knows I’m going to teach her one hell of a lesson for the last two years,’ I angrily yelled at Derik.” Drew paused in his thoughts and turned to look at Deidra.

I shivered, hearing Drew’s vindictive tone. “I remember crying a lot, Drew. Not because of what I remembered at all. I cried for what I didn’t remember, not knowing who I was or where I was going.”

“You cried a lot?” Drew asked, turning to face me.

“Yes, you have no idea what it’s like to wake up and not remember who you are.”

“No, I don’t know what that is like Morgan. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, go on,” I nodded.

Drew resumed his story, recalling his conversation with Derik, “Derik tried convincing me, ‘Or she could just be scared shitless because she’s coming home to a world she really doesn’t remember.’

‘No, that’s not it. I think she’s trying to pull a fast one. She thinks she’ll come here, pretend to not know me so I won’t show her what her place is, and sneak out never to be seen again. I guarantee that won’t happen. She is not to go anywhere without you or me. You got that?’

‘No problem, I’d gladly take her wherever you want.’ Derik smiled maliciously.

‘What the fuck does that mean? You ever fucking touch her, and I’ll kill you with my bare hands,’ I vindictively threatened Derik.

‘Damn, dude. Chill out. I didn’t mean anything by it. Come on. Let’s go bring your wife home.’

Once again Callaway insisted on the limo. He wanted Morgan brought home as comfortable as possible.

I spent the next few days observing her every move. If she was faking the whole amnesia, she was doing a damn good job at it. I fought urge after urge to go to her room, fuck her, and put her right back in her place. I didn’t do it for whatever reason. She was different than she was when she’d left, sort of strong, I guess. Morgan wasn’t a strong person, she never was. She bowed her head and submitted to me. That’s what Morgan did.”

“Morgan still does that,” I confirmed.

Drew looked at me with a frown. “You do not,” he argued.

“Okay, whatever, Drew. Continue.”

“No. You do not bow down to me.”

“What was our conversation the day Nicholas started walking?”

“I don’t know. We talked about a lot of things that day.”

“What did we talk about when you were going out the door? You made me promise that I wouldn’t go anywhere. That’d I’d stay home. Remember?” I wanted to hash this out now, see what Deidra thought about him not letting me out of his sight.

“Are you referring to us having a couple drinks?” Deidra asked.

“You didn’t have a couple drinks,” Drew accused. “She was out until almost three in the morning.”

“Yeah, and she was in good hands. She had a good time and got a little drunk. What upsets you about that? You know marriage can’t be one sided, Drew.”

“Oh, and now she decides to be a doctor,” Drew spat, waving his arm at Deidra.

“Sarcasm noted, Drew. So is the problem Morgan going out with me, your therapist, or is it more, Morgan going out period? You would have been okay if it would have been Morgan and Alicia? Is that what you’re saying, Drew,” Deidra gave it right back.

“No,” he honestly spoke in a quieter tone.

“Thank you, let’s move on, we’ll come back to this later,” Deidra remarked, looking at me for permission to move on from this subject. I took a deep breath, nodding that I was fine with it. I really wasn’t. I wanted to go more into Drew’s control issues, but Deidra evidently did things a certain way, her way.

“You were saying how you observed her behavior,” Deidra offered.

“Yeah, I watched her every move over the next few weeks, mostly at night. It did something to me when she woke having horrific nightmares. She’d wake panicked, gasping for air. I wondered what they were about. Did I cause the bad dreams? Was it the wreck maybe? Did something happen to her while she was gone? Was she remembering something? I wanted in her head. I wanted to know why. Why did she wake in a panic, holding her chest, out of breath, and sometimes crying? I needed to know, although I was sure it was me. I didn’t want it to be because of me.

She wasn’t bowing down to me at all. She did whatever the hell she wanted. It was really starting to annoy the hell out of me: the bursting into my office unannounced, walking around in shorts and t-shirts, bare feet. And her bold comments towards me made me want to strike her right across her face. Part of me wanted her to submit to me and the other part found her very amusing. I wasn’t sure what to think about the whole theatrical scene. I mean, she did act like she didn’t remember things, but I was still skeptical.

I nagged and nagged about her new attire. She didn’t even bother to ask me before jumping in my desk chair and ordering clothes. She laughed about it and thought it was funny. I guess I did a little too, and to be honest, I kind of liked her walking around in short, shorts with her midsection exposed. I even liked her bare feet pitter patting across the marble floors.

I tried my best to stay home and not travel. I sent Derik instead, unless it was something I needed to handle myself, and that was a day or two at the most. I hated not being there when she woke from having a nightmare, not that I had the balls to go to her, but at least I was there.”

“You did come to me when I had nightmares, Drew?” I interrupted again.

“Sometimes, not always,” Drew commented before continuing, “I got rid of both nurses as soon as I could. Morgan was becoming a little too close to them for my comfort. Marta on the other hand seemed to put me in my place as much as Morgan was trying to do. I never had the talk with her like I had Rebecca. I hired Rebecca. She knew she was to keep her mouth shut and mind her own business. Marta on the other hand was hired by Callaway. She was hired to take the best care of her, and she did. Whatever Morgan wanted, Marta saw to her getting.”

“Marta was pretty quick to put me in my place too,” I said, looking to Deidra and not Drew. “She wouldn’t let me lay around and feel sorry for myself. She made me get up and live.”

“But she still gave you everything you wanted,” Drew challenged. “Like sneakers of all things. My wife didn’t wear sneakers. She wore thousand dollar stilettos. And the jeans, well, I guess I liked the jeans a little, especially when she wore them with heels. Morgan had turned into quite the beauty right before my eyes, and I’d missed it. I was seeing her for who she was for the first time since I’d first met her. I didn’t like it. I didn’t have feelings like this, I didn’t do feelings. It wasn’t my thing.”

Chapter 27

“I sat alone in my office for over an hour, contemplating what Derik was saying. He was right. I was being stupid and needed to get Morgan back to a place where she knew what was expected of her. I wouldn’t hit her, not for a while anyway. I didn’t want her to end up back in the hospital or anything. We needed to have sex. I needed to get that out of the way, show her how things really were. That’s what I’d do. My cock twitched at the thought of it. I didn’t know how many more nights I was going to be able to jack off in my hand before I went nuts. I’d go to her after she showered, be waiting for her on her bed.”

“Jesus, Drew, too much,” I said, rolling my eyes and shaking my head.

Drew ignored me, talking about me like I wasn’t sitting right there. “Derik warned me, ‘You’re screwing up. Mark my words, this is all going to come back and bite you in the ass. You watch,’ before leaving my office for the day. Morgan had just barged in with a cup of coffee. I think maybe he was more pissed off that she didn’t bring him one.

It didn’t work out the way I’d planned. I hadn’t planned on having such a good time with her. I’d taken her shopping for a new dress to wear the following night with Callaway. Right off the bat she defied me and picked a dress that I said no to. It didn’t make me mad like it once would have. I found it a little amusing, and the way she was looking at me and smiling, was driving me crazy. I’d never felt that way before. She was flirting with me, and I didn’t know how to handle it. Morgan was flirting with me, and I was liking it.

‘I don’t think I like wine,’ she admitted over dinner.

I laughed. ‘You love wine. You always drank wine.’

‘I did?’

‘Yes, I think your taste buds are injured too.’

‘Maybe or maybe I liked something else, and you’re taking this opportunity to get me to like what you want me to like,’ she teased, sipping the wine.

‘Could be. Maybe I’m trying to get you a little drunk,’ I teased in a low tone, trying to flirt back. I really didn’t have a clue how to do this. We’d never really don’t that before. She was full of surprises. I kind of liked this Morgan. She stood, bent to my ear with her hand flat on my chest.

‘Maybe I don’t need to be a little drunk for that,’ she whispered hot words to my neck and ran one finger through the gap between buttons. Jesus, I had no idea what to do with this woman.”

I loved it. I loved the thought of him not knowing how to handle me.

“Walking into the house, hand in hand, I stopped her at the door. She was fighting too, not knowing what to do with me either. That part was true. I didn’t have any idea what to do. I remember wondering if that was how I felt when I was a virgin, the first time I had ever had sex.

She stopped just before the door and leaned into me. It was the strangest situation I’d ever been in. We both wanted to cross that line and give into each other. Neither of us knew how.

‘Goodnight, Drew,’ Morgan quietly spoke. I didn’t want to let her go.

‘Night, Morgan.’

Watching her disappear up the stairs I went to my office to watch her. Smiling, I watched her unzip her dress and slip it over her shoulders.

‘You’re an idiot, Drew Kelley. I gave you an open invitation and you chickened out,’ she spoke into the mirror.

I was acting like a coward, and didn’t know why. I took what I wanted, I didn’t wait for it. It was the Callaway way. I’d been taught it from an early age.

Morgan slid on a pair of shorts, more like men’s boxers, and a cotton shirt. Pulling down the covers she opened the nightstand drawer.

‘Ouch, son of a bitch,’ I yelled, running into the side of my desk. I had to get to her before she turned it on. I knew what kind of dom/sub stories were on that e-reader. I didn’t think she was quite ready for that yet. Luckily the batteries were dead and she hadn’t had time to get it plugged in yet before I got to her.

I played it off, telling her she shouldn’t read yet. Dr. Tharp didn’t want that much eye movement yet. He really did say that, sort of.” Drew turned and told me matter of factly.

I didn’t respond, only smiled.

“Morgan reminded me, ‘I spent two hours reading in the library yesterday.’

‘Yeah, but you don’t have the bright light behind the words in a book,’ I said, making it up as I went along, made sense to me.

‘Did you come up here to tell me I can’t read on that? How did you know I had it?’

‘No, I came to see if you wanted to go for a walk.’ I laughed at the absurdity of my excuse.

That’s where I made my move. We kissed, standing under the black sky. I’d never kissed Morgan like that. I mean I have, but I fought it every time. I didn’t allow the feelings to surface. I did this time, feeling something burning deep in my chest. I knew I was playing with fire and needed to get a grasp on things. She could still be playing me for a fool and I was falling for it, or her—hard.”

That made me smile, I liked thinking about Drew falling in love with me.

“Morgan saw something that night. I took her back to my room and fought with every demon in me. I wanted to do things. I wanted to order her to her knees, bend her over my lap, and shove my dick forcefully in her ass.”

I shook my head at my no filter husband.

“I couldn’t keep the true Drew at bay. It was killing me to hold back. I romanced her as much as I could, got her naked, and told her to spread her legs. Nothing looked more beautiful than Morgan across my bed, exposing her glistening glorious pussy for me. She was timid, but I didn’t give her time to back out. I kept in constant contact with her not letting her pull back.”

Oh, my god, Drew.

“I rasped with an excruciating hard-on and a tone that I didn’t mean to let slip, ‘You want to come, Morgan?’ I jumped back, startled when Morgan jumped up, seeing something or having a flashback or something.

‘Did you hit me, Drew?’

‘What? No, why would you ask that?’

‘I don’t know. I just, I..it’s..I don’t know, Drew. I have to go. I can’t do this,’ Morgan ended our foreplay.”

I lost myself, briefly, thinking about what Drew was saying. That was the first night I started seeing flashes of my life. They were never anything more than a flash, a quick image of certain things from my past, mostly Drew. I always analyzed them, willing myself to remember something, anything.

“I watched Morgan gather her clothes and storm out of my room. Unable to stop her for whatever reason, I reached for my laptop. She ran her fingers through her hair and groaned frustrated, closing her door behind her. Shaking her head, she climbed into bed, hit the bed on both sides of her body, and grumbled again. I sat straight up, witnessing her move her hand under the covers. She was masturbating. What the hell?”

And there goes the filter again. I remembered that night too. I wanted him to stop. I didn’t like that night.

Drew relayed his side of that night, “I demanded her to stop, standing right by her bed. She never even heard me come in. She was close to coming. Morgan looked up to me with wide eyes. I was fighting the worst of my demons. I tried so hard to make it about her, make love to her and be in the moment with her. I lost. I started with one finger in her ass, and she let me. Did she want it? I didn’t think so, but I couldn’t stop.

I wasn’t easy on her at all. I didn’t make it about anyone but me. I fucked her up the ass, let her come, gathered my clothes, and left her trembling and scared. I’d done that a thousand times over the years, never did it hit me like this did. Why was I having such a hard time leaving her like that? I hurt her, not all the times before. I mean right now. Right that moment, I hurt her. I just used her and left her alone and scared.

I spent the better part of the next day alone in my office. I never let her out of my sight, wondering more than once what she was thinking about. She tried to read, but kept dropping her book, lost in thought. Marta made her coffee and a sandwich that she barely touched. I had to get a hold of myself. This couldn’t be happening. What the hell had I done?

Morgan helped with the unwanted feelings at dinner with Mr. Callaway. She defied me more than once, and when I told her it was time to go, and she made the decision to sit down beside Mr. Callaway, deciding that we were staying for desert, I flipped. Anger began to pour out of my skin, and I was ready to put a stop to her little charade.”

Screw you, buddy.

“Yelling at me in the car, she asked, ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’

‘What’s wrong? What’s wrong? You just embarrassed the hell out of me in there, and you want to know what is wrong?’

‘And how the hell do you think I did that? You shouldn’t have lied and said I didn’t feel well. Have I always let you talk for me and decide what I wanted?’

‘Yeah, Morgan you did and when you didn’t listen, you would be punished once we were home. Maybe I need to show you how we do things around here,’ I threatened.

That scared her, and her tough act was halted, but only briefly.

“FUCK YOU!”

‘You need to stop. I’m warning you, Morgan. You don’t want to do this.’ I didn’t mean to grab her hair. I just lost it. I couldn’t control it.

‘Take your hands off me!’ she demanded through gritted teeth.

I waited until Morgan was in the shower and replaced her pain meds with the ones that Dr. Tharp had given me in emergency cases only. She was only to take one of them if she couldn’t bare the pain. She took two of the ones from the bottle on her nightstand, and not every night. I wasn’t even sure she’d take it.

I watched her climb into her bed and roll over, not taking a pill. She didn’t touch them. She tossed and turned for over an hour before finally giving up and dry swallowing the two little pills. I was a little nervous when I went to her. Maybe two was too much. She was out of it. Really out of it.

I did everything I’d ever done to Morgan that night, everything I longed to do since she came back to me contriving amnesia. I was a morbid son of a bitch. Morgan had no clue what was going on. I fucked her in every position her limp body would allow, and once I’d finished pumping in and out of her ass, I removed the condom and shot my load in her mouth, rubbing my come about her lips, just like old times.”

This part didn’t shock me. Drew and I had talked about this before, and he confessed to doing that to me. I wondered though what Deidra was thinking about all this. Surely she’d never heard anything like this before.

“Morgan took me by surprise again the next day. She took my hand and apologized for the night before. I was stunned. I didn’t know how to respond. I twisted her comatose body and fucked her in every imaginable way and she was apologizing. She shocked the hell out of me again when she stormed into my office later in the afternoon, demanding Derik to leave us alone. He pissed me off the way he talked to her and looked down on her, and then had to go run his mouth in front of her.

‘You’re fucking up. I’m telling you, Drew, you’re giving her too much leeway. You need to reel her back in before she blows it all.’

‘Shut the hell up, Derik. I don’t need you to tell me how to control my wife.’

‘You just gave her your fucking keys. She’s playing you. She’s not the dumb little girl we thought. She managed to embezzle over eighty thousand dollars and disappear for almost two years. You really think she’s not doing the same thing now? She’s setting you up. Just because she came back the last time doesn’t mean she’s going to keep coming back. Marta is probably helping her.’

‘Marta’s not with her. She went alone.’

‘You fucking let her leave alone? What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re not the only one who has something to lose here, Drew. I’ve devoted almost ten years of my life for this money too. You’re not fucking this up for me,’ Derik yelled. It wasn’t the first time he’d jumped down my throat for letting her have the ball in her court. He mentioned it a few times over the past few weeks.

‘Actually, DERIK! You work for me. You’re my piss-ant assistant. You do what I tell you to do. I don’t do what you tell me to do, and I sure as hell don’t need you to tell me how to control my wife. You got that? That’s the last time you’re ever going to mention Morgan. Are we clear here?’ I twisted my fists at my side.

‘Whatever, dude. You go ahead and learn the hard way, but don’t be pissed off at me when I say I told you so.’

‘Get out of here. Go downtown and wait for Mr. Carlos.’

I waited and waited for her return. She’d been gone for almost two hours. I was beginning to panic. She ran. I was such a fool. I let her run again. I decided to call her.

‘Hello,’ she answered her phone in a whisper. I smiled. She wouldn’t have answered if she’d run.

‘Why are you whispering?’ I whispered too.

‘I’m in the library.’

‘Come home. We were going to buy you a dress, remember?’

‘Okay, sorry. I got into this really good book. Have you ever read The Morning by Onslow Warrior?’

‘No, and that’s not a real name.’

‘Yes, it is. It’s really, really good. I don’t want to put it down.’

‘Can you check it out and maybe read it later at home?’

‘Yes, I’m coming, but I’m a little afraid of stairwells right now.’

‘Let me guess, it’s another one of those horror books?’

‘Yes, he only kills girls in stairwells.’

‘There are no stairwells in that library.’

“Yeah, well there are steps.’

‘Come home.’ I laughed, at her silliness.

If someone would have told me I was going to fall in love with Morgan, I would have called them crazy. I was so in love with Morgan, with this Morgan, the Morgan that ran around in shorts and short shirts, the Morgan that told Derik off every chance she got. This Morgan barged into my office, fell asleep on my chaise lounge while I worked, and believe it or not wanted me to spank her and do all the dirty little things that I loved doing.”

Nice, Drew.

“I did ridiculous crazy things for her. I was wearing jeans, sneakers, going to baseball games, and sleeping with her in my bed. I drank beer in a sports bar and ate messy barbeque, which I loved by the way. I swam in our pool with her. I hadn’t been in that pool since I was a boy. Men didn’t do that, Michael told me so, and like a dumb boy I believed him.

I moved her to my room after a couple months of her being home. I needed her to feel safe and stop with the nightmares. It broke my heart to see her wake like that, scared and alone. I hoped that her being out of that room where the nightmares originated would help. I guess it did to a certain degree, but she still had them, and I wanted to be right there to hold her and talk her down from them.

My new mission in life became only her, making her happy and praying like hell that she never remembered. I needed her to know this Drew, and how much he loved her. I never wanted her to remember again. I loved her.

‘Stop that,’ she ordered, crawling into my lap and closing the work I had in front of me.

‘I’m going to start working in the office downtown,’ I threatened, although I was loving it on the inside. She didn’t want me to work. She wanted my attention.

‘I’m bored. It’s after five, you always work.’

‘I work so you can live like this,’ I reminded her, running my hand up her bare legs.

‘I don’t need this. Give me a beach and some sea glass and I’d be just as happy,’ Morgan said.”

“You remember that, Morgan?” Drew asked, turning my way, but continued without my response. “She froze. I froze. She was remembering something.

‘Why did I say that, Drew?’

‘I don’t know, Morgan. I guess you were seeing something.’

‘Telling the truth is easier to remember,’ Morgan countered.”

I smiled, remembering that day. That was a good day. My Grandma Joyce always told me that. I knew Drew was lying that day. He didn’t want me to remember.

“I smiled up at her without a reply. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t lying though. I didn’t know when she’d ever been to a beach. Was that where she was during her time she was away from me?

‘You can work, I’ll read or something,’ she offered, removing herself from my lap. I held onto her, picking up on the mood change. She sounded sad and distant.

‘Morgan,’ I quietly spoke, looking down to her tiny hand in mine.”

‘It’s okay. I get it.’

‘What do you get? Talk to me.’

‘You don’t want me to remember, do you?’

‘No, Morgan. I don’t.’

She smiled a sad smile and left me. I’d long forgotten that she may be faking the whole loss of memory thing. She didn’t remember. I was sure of it, and my worst nightmare was that she would. She would remember everything and not love me. I wasn’t sure I could live without her now. I’d take a bullet for her. I’d give up every penny for her. None of it meant anything without her.

Chapter 28

“I did my best to keep Derik away from her and out of the house. I sent him on every business trip that I didn’t want to take. I hated leaving her, mostly because I hated seeing her wake afraid and alone when I wasn’t there to save her. She hated it when I left too. I did take her a couple times. She hated it. She hated the boring meetings that I had let her sit through. She hated to sit in the hotel room.”

“That’s because you wouldn’t let me leave the hotel to shop or see a movie or anything,” I complained out loud, looking to Deidra for support, thinking about the stripes on my ass from the last time I went out and did something without him.

“Needless to say,” Drew continued with a snide grin. “On the occasions that I had to go, she whined like a two year old, begging me to send Derik. The only good thing about leaving her was coming home to her. I’d get so mad at her for sending Marta away. I didn’t want her to be alone. It didn’t matter, she did it anyway and was waiting at the door for my return. Sometimes we didn’t make it away from the door before we were naked, making love on the cold marble floor.

‘Oh, my god, don’t you ever leave for five whole days again. Do you have any idea how much I missed you,’ she asked, throwing herself in my arms after a long drawn out go to hell deal that I lost. I should have sent Derik. Five days away from my wife and I come home a failure.”

That was not a good night, I remembered. He did the same thing then that he does now when he comes home after a bad day at work. Drew losing a deal was like spitting in his face. He couldn’t handle it. I’m sure it had something to do with Michael telling him what a failure he was.

“Removing her arms from around my neck, I said, ‘I need a shower.’ It wasn’t her. I was happy to see her. I was pissed off at myself. Three quarters of a million dollars and I flushed it down the drain, handing it over to Brinkley.

‘Yeah, okay,’ she said disappointed.

I tried to wash it away in the shower, to not think about it. I tried my best not to hear Michael’s voice telling me what a loser I was. It wasn’t working. I was pissed, and trying my best not to go back to the Drew that wanted to hurt Morgan. I was struggling. I was struggling so hard. She should have left me alone. She shouldn’t have pushed her luck.

‘You never quit, do you Morgan?’ I asked, turning to her sneaking in the shower with me. She was instantly frightened when I slammed her wet body against the tile.

‘What do you want?’ I asked, kissing her fiercely.

‘Drew, you’re scaring me,’ she rasped in a shaky voice.

‘You should be scared. You should be terrified of me. Why did you come in here? What do you want?’ I asked, twisting her nipple hard between my fingers.

‘I wanted you,’ she whimpered.

‘You wanted me? You wanted me to do what?’

‘Drew, stop,’ she begged.

I didn’t stop. Who the hell did she think she was? She didn’t tell me to stop. She didn’t have that power or that control. I held the control. I pulled her hair and kissed her lips right after I back handed her with my knuckles. Her tears flowed, uncontrollably while I shoved her against the wall and took her, putting her in that dark place I’d once kept her. I pounded in and out of her fighting the Y-chromosome entrenched deep in my soul. I didn’t want to be this Drew. I was hurting her. Why couldn’t I stop?”

“That’s the day I truly knew I was in love with you,” I told Drew and Deidra. “Drew hit me for the first time that day. Well, the first time that I remembered, and I still wanted him.”

Drew and I briefly stared at each other in a way that only he and I could understand before he continued, “Morgan cried, ‘Drew, it’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.’ I stopped and looked down at her crying eyes. I never wanted to see that again. Promising myself that was the last time. I was never hurting her again.

‘Why, Morgan? I don’t deserve you. How can you say that?’

‘I love you,’ she cried.”

Drew paused and turned away from the window. “We said I love you before, but that was the first time she’d ever said it like that.”

“Like what?” Deidra asked.

“Like she’s looking at me right now. Like I am the only person she sees. Like her whole world is me,” Drew explained. “I struck her, forced myself on her and she was telling me she loved me. We were not okay. This was not okay.” Drew resumed his position at the window, facing the alley. “I kissed away her tears and pulled out of her, saying, ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.’ Letting go of her legs, she dropped them, and I held her wet body close to me while she clung to me hopelessly.

‘Please don’t stop, Drew,’ she begged, wanting me to make love to her.

Pulling her up while our eyes stayed entranced, she wrapped her legs around my waist and I made love to her like I’d never done. She didn’t stop crying the entire time. It was the most emotionally fucked up situation I had ever known.

Morgan never mentioned that night. She let me off the hook without making me feel worse than I already did. She even lied to Marta and told her she’d walked into a door with her nose in a book. Marta laughed, believing the lie to be the truth.

I tried even harder to make her happy after that night. There were still plenty of times I fought the Drew I didn’t want to be. Morgan had a way of pulling me back in. Just her soft voice saying easy Drew was usually enough to remind me how delicate she really was. I often wondered what went through her mind. Was her life before the accident hidden somewhere in her subconscious? Some of the things she did made me believe that it was.”

Deidra stopped Drew, asking me about being in love with him, how I felt different between him and Dawson. I took over, talked about being gone and what I had been doing while I was away. I didn’t mean to get so involved in my story and tried to remember how I felt when Drew talked about being in love with Skyler. I didn’t want to make him feel bad. I really didn’t think he loved her like I loved Dawson.

“Dawson truly loved me,” I explained.

“Dawson didn’t love you, Morgan,” Drew adamantly stated.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re past that.”

“Are we, Morgan? It’s been long enough, let’s talk about Dawson, or is there too much nostalgia there for you?” Drew hastily replied.

“Fuck you, Drew. You don’t know shit about Dawson.”

“You two are like fire and ice,” Deidra accused. “Drew, you can’t get mad at her for falling in love with someone when you did the same thing. And, Morgan, you’re not allowed to say fuck you to your husband, not here and not at home. Okay?”

We both took deep breaths but didn’t respond. I wanted to move past the conversation of Dawson anyway. I wanted to hear more from Drew.

“Good, so did things get better after you hit her that night in the shower?” Deidra asked Drew and not me, thank god.

“I’m not sure what you mean by better. Was it any healthier? I doubt it. Is it better now? I don’t know, you’re the doc, you tell me. I know it was only a couple days later when my wife there started the next fight between us,” Drew nodded towards me.

“Go on,” Deidra coaxed.

“Derik and I had been in my office all morning on calls.

‘It’s lunch time, Derik. How about you go find some lunch or something?’ Morgan asked in a demanding tone, barging into my office.”

I didn’t ask, I was telling him to get the hell out.

“Derik retorted, ‘Yeah, why don’t you go back in the kitchen where you belong.’

‘Derik, just go home. We’re done here. I can finish this.’

‘Seriously, Drew? We have a conference call in twenty minutes. Callaway’s going to be on it. Did you forget that?’

‘I’d think you could figure out how to jump on a conference call anywhere in the world by now, Derik,’ Morgan smartly remarked with a tilted head.

‘Go, Derik,’ I ordered before he had a chance to say something else. He left, eyeing her with pure disgust from her bare toes to her eyes.

‘My god, girl. What are you doing? You can’t keep doing that. We’re trying to work here.’

‘I’m sorry. I guess I was bad, uh?’ she asked, sliding out of her shorts. My cock instantly responded when she bent over my desk, standing right beside me.”

DREW! REALLY?

“Rubbing her soft bare ass, ‘I really do have a conference call,’ I told her.”

Ah man.

“Morgan retorted, ‘Then you should probably punish me, quickly.’

Standing, I brought my hand down, instantly leaving my print, marking my territory. She moaned as I rubbed the sting from her ass. Running my fingers through her wet pussy, I cracked her ass again and again, gaining moan after moan as my fingers teased her throbbing sex.

‘Is this what you want? You need me to spank you?’ I asked.

‘Hmmm,’ she moaned, backing her ass into my agonizing erection. Morgan spun around and lifted herself to my desk.

‘Go down on me,’ she beckoned, dropping her head. It was actually my new favorite thing to do. It had been since that first time she’d told me to do it. She’d knocked the wind out of me that day. I’d never tasted Morgan before that. I never had the desire to do that, now I couldn’t get enough of her taste, her scent, or her writhing hips beneath my mouth.”

I wasn’t sure which I felt more, my wet pussy, or my crimson face. Why did he do this? He could talk about our sex life to Deidra like it was nothing more than a business meeting.

“I warned her, ‘Morgan, I have a conference call.’

‘Then hurry up. It’s not going to take long. I promise.’

What the hell was I supposed to say to that? I did as I was told, and she was absolutely right. She was calling out in ecstasy in seconds, not minutes.

‘Happy?’ I smirked, pulling her up and kissing her lips, coating them with her own juices.

‘Not completely.’

‘You have to sit here and be quiet for a few minutes. I have to get on this call.’

‘Go ahead.’

How the hell was I supposed to lead a conference call with her naked on my desk? That wouldn’t be the problem. I no sooner dialed in when Morgan was on her knees, releasing my rock hard cock in her hand. I talked about the growth in the new Los Angeles store, trying to keep it together while my wife stroked my cock in her hand. I was leading a conference call with confidence, glancing to the numbers on the screen, then back to Morgan’s hand.

‘Derik, take over. Go to the week of the fifth graph,’ I ordered. I wasn’t okay anymore. Morgan’s fingers lightly squeezing my balls and her lips covering my head did me in.

‘I’m going to kill you,’ I promised as soon as I hit the silent button on my desk phone.

‘Want me to stop?’ she asked, looking up to me with seductive eyes and then dipped her head, taking as much of me as she could.

‘Oh, god. I swear you have no gag reflex.’ I moaned.

‘I don’t. You taught me that, remember?’

‘What?’ I asked when she stopped.

‘Why did I say that, Drew?’

‘Say what?’

‘Why did I think you taught me that?’

‘I don’t know. I probably teased you about it or something.’

‘No, it didn’t feel like that.’

‘Morgan?’ I questioned, wanting her to finish what she’d started, or let me get back on my call. I didn’t want her thinking about that. I didn’t want her to remember me forcing my dick down her throat, telling her I would teach her how to control her gag reflexes. I’d said it often. Thank god she put it aside and gave me one hell of a blow job.

Those same memories consumed me too. I stood, holding her hair with one hand and stroking my cock with the other. She opened her mouth and waited, like she’d done it that way all along. I hadn’t done that since she’d been home, not like that anyway. It was out of my control. I saw the look in her eyes. It wasn’t lustful anymore. This look was afraid. The one that I’d once loved to see on her face. The old Drew was winning. I couldn’t care about what was going through her mind at the moment. It was too late. I was past the point of return.

“You ready, baby?” I asked, pumping my dick on her lips. She didn’t reply and kept her lips parted slightly, just like I’d taught her, like she remembered. And just like old times the first bout squirted to her lips. Massaging my come around her lips, I pressed into her mouth as the next shot entered her mouth. Morgan sucked me clean, just like she’d done a thousand times before and then turned away from me. I’d lost her. I’d lost her and me both. Why did this have to be so hard for me? Why couldn’t I just show her how much I loved her?

‘I’ll let you work,’ she timidly said, standing. I didn’t like timid Morgan anymore. I liked strong Morgan. The one that told me Marta wasn’t my maid and to pick up my empty glass or carry my own plate to the kitchen. The Morgan that barged into my office, demanding me to go down on her, that’s the Morgan I wanted. I kept fucking bringing it back. Over and over, I let my bastard self spill out, time and time again.

‘Morgan?’ I softly spoke with a remorseful smile.

She weakly smiled back.

‘I’m fine. I’ll see you at dinner,’ she sadly responded, seeing herself out.”

“Those were the days that I struggled to remember and forget at the same time,” I said, talking to Drew and not Deidra. Drew knew what I meant. Deidra wouldn’t.

Deidra talked to us more about fixing things that day, if there was such a thing.

“Tell me what your loneliness is, Morgan,” she requested.

“What do you mean,” I asked.

“When do you feel alone?”

“I honestly don’t feel that way, at all.”

“You have to feel something. What about after an incident? How do you feel after a fight or one of your issues with Drew?”

“Drew is very attentive towards me after an episode. I don’t feel lonely with Drew. Drew is always with me, even when he’s not. Unless he is in the air, he can see me from anywhere in the country in any room of our house,” I explained.

“Okay, let’s forget feeling lonely. How does it make you feel to know that he is always watching you? You don’t find that a little stalky?” Deidra prompted.

I snorted. “Oh, I find it a lot stalky. Do I mind it? No, not at all. I’m used to it. Drew’s watched me since the first day I came here when I was eighteen. Drew’s seen me more exposed than anyone I’ve ever known,” I tried to explain to Deidra. How do you explain a love like ours? Nobody could understand it, and I wasn’t sure how to clarify it.

“Nothing else matters,” Drew helped.

I smiled, knowing exactly what he meant.

Deidra didn’t. “What do you mean, Drew?”

“I’m an imperfect man, and I’ve made my wife an imperfect woman. We’re just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. She will forever be my always.”

Ahhh, I loved that. She will forever be my always. I would never forget those words as long as I lived, the way Drew looked at me when he said them or the emotion behind his eyes.

Deidra gave us homework after that session, requesting that we both bring her a five item bitch list for our next visit. I was thinking more about what Drew would say than what I was going to say.

Chapter 29

“Morgan, look at the guy that just walked in here,” Alicia whispered across the table during lunch at our favorite little sandwich shop. I turned, doing a double take.

“Wow, if I didn’t know Drew was an only child, I’d call him his brother. That’s a little scary,” I determined, looking at the guy who looked a lot like my husband. His physique wasn’t quite as strong as Drew’s and his hair was longer, but his facial features were haunting.

“You sure Drew doesn’t have a brother,” Alicia asked.

“I’m sure,” I stated. “What if he does? What if that guy really is his brother? Maybe Drew secretly sees him when he goes on trips, or talks to him in his office. What if he….” I rattled on and on.

“Jesus, Morgan. I was joking. I’m sure that’s not Drew’s brother. You need to stop reading those books,” Alicia decided, taking a bite of her turkey club. I turned to see the guy putting on one of the brown aprons. Alicia was right. Drew’s brother wouldn’t be working in a place like that. I did need to stop reading those books.

***

Drew and I spent three days at the beach house alone with Nicky. I loved Celeste, Alicia, and their two adorable kids. I was even a little disappointed when they didn’t want to come, too busy with the new house, new baby, and Vincent’s new obsession to learn to golf. After the first night I was glad it was just us.

We ate supper with my mom. Drew, Jason, and Caroline looked for sea glass with baby Nick in a backpack on Drew’s back. I was so happy and in love with my family. Drew put Nicholas to bed while I showered, and then we sat out on the deck listening to the waves lap along the shore.

“Come over here,” Drew requested, wanting me beside him and not in my own chair. I didn’t mind. The evening air coming from the ocean was a little nippy. Drew was warm.

“Hmm, this is my favorite place to be,” I said, snuggling into Drew’s arms.

“Where, the beach house?”

“No, inside your hug.”

I felt Drew smile on my forehead as he kissed me lightly. We talked for over an hour, just enjoying the conversation and each other’s company. We stopped talking when it almost turned into an argument. Drew was adamant about Nicky being homeschooled, I was not. I wanted him around other kids. We could wait on that one. He just turned one. We made love instead.

I’m not sure how my brain worked, but that’s where it happened, right out of the blue, I thought of it while my husband slid in and out of me, making slow passionate love to me; the new guy at the sandwich shop. It could work. Nobody looks exactly like their driver’s license. Shit. I how was I supposed to get that from Drew’s wallet?

“Are you still with me, Mrs. Kelley?” Drew asked, interrupting the scheme going on inside my head. “I don’t feel like you’re feeling me anymore,” Drew blamed.

“Oh, I’m feeling you,” I teased with a kiss.

***

I didn’t have to really lie to Drew about going into town. It just so happened that two of my favorite authors had books released over the next couple weeks.

“That makes no sense to me. You have five electronic devises; you could buy the books and be reading them in two minutes. Why do you have to have the paperback?”

“Because, Drew. I have all those beautiful shelves in there. I like to display them after I’ve read them. And I like reading to Nicky with an actual page and not something with a light behind it. Have you ever really looked at a book cover? It’s an art as much as the book itself.”

“It’s not art, and Nicholas loves when I read to him from my tablet. The stories interact with him more.”

“His parents should interact with him more. I’m just going to eat at Panino’s and stop at the book store and maybe the library.”

“Why do you have to go to both? You know what? Never mind. Just go. I’ll see you in two hours,” Drew agreed, looking at his watch.

Yes!

I got one of the two books first, figuring I’d say they didn’t have the other one yet, needing an excuse to go again the following week. I wanted to scope this guy out, maybe talk to him or something. Once I’d checked out three novels and two baby books for Nicky. Taking the booth closest to the counter, I ordered my sandwich and an ice tea.

I should have come sooner. All I got to do was watch him work. A lunch crowd entered, taking up all his time. Observing him, I watched him, speedily take orders, get trays, drinks, and repeat. Drew said two hours. I could stick around for forty minutes. Hopefully the crowd would dissipate by then. He didn’t sound like Drew at all. His pitch was a lot higher than Drew’s. He really didn’t look like Drew at all. His nose was wider and his lips were thinner. Drew’s eyebrows were more stylish too, of course he paid someone to make them look like that. I wondered if he’d have a makeover to look more like Drew, have his eyebrows done and cut his hair like Drew’s. Sure he would, money talks. If I’ve learned anything about having money from Drew, it would be that money can buy anything, and I do mean anything.

I wanted to search my phone about the regulations of having a deposit box at the bank. I didn’t know these things. Drew took care of that stuff. I didn’t dare do it on my phone. Drew would know. I didn’t search anything that he didn’t think I needed to go to. Like Facebook. He wouldn’t even let me join a book club where you could chat with people that liked the same genre of books as you. I could research a book or surf for new releases, but I couldn’t talk to someone about them.

Thinking about not being able to do what I wanted without having my husband furious with me led me to thinking about our last appointment with Deidra. First, I thought about the way Drew controlled everything that I did. I knew he did it out of love and worried about me constantly. He blamed it on my two years of him not knowing where I was, but I knew it was more of a control thing. For whatever reason, Drew had to be in control of everything, and he was obsessive compulsive when it came to controlling me.

Looking at the time on my phone, I knew I had to leave in ten more minutes in order to make Drew’s two hour rule. Drew’s twin did a good job rushing the long line through, maybe he could get the last two out of there long enough for me to order a gourmet coffee for Drew. Standing I gathered my things and got behind the last guy.

“Can I get a large, butter toffee, premium coffee, please?”

“Coming right up.” He smiled. That was it. His smile and his eyes; that’s why he looked so much like Drew. This could work. Couldn’t it? UGH! Was I stupid or what? Did I think I was going to be able to walk up to a perfect stranger and say what? Hey, how are you? Would you like to have a makeover, impersonate my husband, fraudulently open his safety deposit box, and maybe take a chance on going to prison? What was I thinking? Sure he’d do that, why wouldn’t he.”

“Ma’am,” I heard, shaking my internal rant.

“Oh, sorry,” I apologized, handing him my card.

I should have just let it go. I couldn’t. I felt like there was something in that deposit box that would give me something about Drew. It didn’t make sense. Drew had a hidden vault system at the house with more technology than a bank. It had to be his finger print and a thin beam of light shined in his eye before it would even let him put in a combination.

Why would Michael or Drew get a deposit box at the bank? I knew how sophisticated the vault was. Drew explained it to me one afternoon, telling me how if anyone got into it without his physical traits, they would be sprayed with a massive amount of teargas. I couldn’t understand the purpose of the lock box, I thought as I headed home.

“Hey, where’s my little man?” I asked, seeing Marta setting the table.

“Drew heard him whine a little,” she explained, rolling her eyes. I smiled and went to find him in Drew’s office, I was sure.

Opening the door, I laughed when I saw Nicky. He was no doubt Drew’s son. Drew had him in the middle of his desk, covered in paperwork, wearing nothing but a diaper. He was having a ball, crumpling up papers.

“I hope none of that is important,” I said, taking Nicholas as he lunged for me.

“No, I was shredding them. He was learning how to increase his margins.”

“You were not, were you? You were thinking about what a pretty waterfall you could paint on the paper, weren’t you, buddy?” I asked, kissing his little cheeks as his fingers went straight for my earrings and Drew’s hand stung my ass.

“He was not thinking about painting waterfalls. He’s going to be a business man. No son of mine is going to paint waterfalls,” Drew assured me, being extremely serious.

“How about our little girl? Can she paint?”

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

“Heavens no, Nicky just turned one. I just meant if we ever have a little girl.”

“Do you want to have a little girl?”

“Maybe when Nicholas is like three or so. I’m not ready to be fat and pregnant again.”

“You were never fat. You were a beautiful momma to be.”

“Let’s just practice for a couple years.”

“Mmm? I don’t know. I’m thinking I would like Nicholas to have a sibling to grow up with. If we had another boy they could be like two years apart.”

“Forget it, Drew. We’re not having another baby right now.”

“Why? You love Alicia’s baby.”

“Why do you always call her Alicia’s baby? She’s Celeste’s baby too, and she does have a name.”

“You’re just trying to change the subject.”

“Drew, stop. We’re not having a baby right now.” Damn it. He wasn’t doing this right now. I didn’t want another baby yet. Nicholas was still a baby. I would put my foot down if he insisted on this.

“We’ll discuss it later.”

“No, Drew, there is nothing to discuss. We’ll talk about it in another year or so.”

“We’ll talk about it when I say we’ll talk about it. Get out of here, Celeste just pulled up,” Drew ordered, kissing and dismissing me to leave him alone. I wouldn’t do it. There were just some things he couldn’t control.

***

“Morgan, would you like to start where Drew left off last week?” Deidra asked after getting me coffee and Drew a drink.

“I’d rather Drew do it. He tells it much better than I do.”

“But your feelings are going to be different if you tell it from your side.”

“I know. If there’s something I think needs a different explanation, I’ll interject.”

“You were describing the months after Morgan’s return,” Deidra nodded to Drew to begin.

“Morgan continued to fight her demons while I continued to do the same,” Drew began.  “I wondered if it was the reason we clicked. Maybe it was the dark places we both came from. Maybe it didn’t matter that she didn’t remember. She knew. She knew something and the more she questioned it the more I begged her not to remember. I had confessed without confessing.

We were so in love and the more time we put behind us the more we fell, the harder we fell. She felt the same way. I knew she did.” Drew was looking to me as he spoke.

I didn’t need to interrupt. Drew was absolutely right.

“She couldn’t keep her hands off me anymore than I could her. Everything was perfect. For the first time since I’d met her, I didn’t care that she conversed with Callaway. I liked it actually, I loved to listen to her talk about art, books, and composers that I’d never heard of. I often wondered how she knew all that she knew. I guess the books that she read. Lord knows it wasn’t from the kinky stuff I kept loaded on her e-reader for her.”

I smiled, remembering the first time I had to read those damn things, especially when he’d make me read them out loud. I hated when he’d call me and tell me to read to him, knowing he was watching and listening to me. I hadn’t realized I snorted at my last internal thought.

“Something funny?” Drew asked, turning to me.

“No, I just thought about something that I used to think when you made me read the books you downloaded for me.”

“What?” Drew urged.

“I used to picture you in another state, watching and listening to me read while you jerked off,” I teased. Hey, he didn’t mind putting it all out there, why should I?

“That’s exactly what I was doing,” he admitted with a sneaky grin.

I shook my head with a smile, knowing he was telling the truth and feeling a quick twinge, thinking about Drew’s hand stroking his massive rod.

“There’s nothing you can say that could embarrass me,” Drew tormented.

“Really? Not even when I say how much I love watching that? Especially when I walk into the bathroom and catch you doing it in the shower, all alone,” I said in some sort of messed up seductive tone. Where the hell did that come from? Drew of course didn’t falter.

“You’re not catching me doing anything. I know how much that drives you crazy. I do it when I want crazy shower sex. You always walk in the bathroom when I’m in the shower. All I have to do is have my dick in my hand and know you’ll be wrapping your legs around me before I get out.”

“Damn, you’re good,” I admitted, not even feeling the crimson flood my face. We’d talked about so much kinky sex with Deidra, it really didn’t bother me.

“The best,” Drew snidely remarked.

Deidra laughed at us. “Okay, Drew. You were saying how much in love you were with Morgan,” she beckoned for us to stop being rivalries.

“Oh yeah, my life was more than I’d ever thought it could be. Morgan was the reason for that. She truly was my whole world, and I would have poisoned her food everyday if there’d been a magic potion that would have kept her from remembering. Her remembering ate at me like nothing else. It consumed my days and nights. I’d lie awake watching her sleep, feeling remorse for all that I’d done to her, all that I’d taken away, and all that I’d kept her from experiencing for years.”

Chapter 30

“There was so much that she missed because of me. I never took her to a movie, a Broadway show, on a vacation, a honeymoon. She never had a girlfriend to shop and talk girl stuff with, do their nails, and complain about her man. I’d deprived her of everything she should have been experiencing.

I stroked her hair while I watched her sleep. Her sleep was usually troublesome and she’d wake up and take something to get back to sleep. This was the part that haunted me most. Just like it always started, she tossed her head from side to side, moaned in her sleep and breathed quick, short breaths. Sometimes I could kiss her forehead, shush her, and soothe her nightmares away. Sometimes I couldn’t.

‘I’ve got you, baby. You’re okay,’ I soothed, holding her tight. This was one of those times I couldn’t stop it. She clung to me, calming her breathing, trying to talk herself down.

‘Drew,’ she mumbled panicked and scared.

‘I’m here. You’re okay.’ I would comfort her over and over,” Drew spoke, looking at Deidra, “Morgan wasn’t okay. I made Morgan not okay. I had to come clean with her. I had to tell her everything regardless of the outcome. I had to tell her.”

“You were going to tell me, Drew?” I asked, not knowing this. Why hadn’t he ever told me this?

“Yes, I was going to tell you right before you remembered,” he said, turning to me and then back to Deidra. “I thought about it the whole time I was away from her on my next trip.” Drew continued, getting back to his story with Deidra as if I wasn’t in the room.

Why did he do that? Grrrrr.

“I was going to tell her when I got home that day. I’d send Marta away for the weekend and get it out. I had to, it was eating me up. If she chose to leave me, I’d live with it. If she chose to disclose everything to Callaway, I’d live with it. I didn’t care anymore. I had to make it right with her one way or another.

I smiled when I watched her through the cameras lie to Marta and tell her I’d called and told her to take off for the weekend. She hummed some song that I didn’t know but knew it was familiar to her when she stopped and thought about it for a second before continuing. I was sure she was trying to figure out how she knew the country song while she prepared her surprise meal for my arrival.

I didn’t get to talk to her that night. Derik had gotten there before me, dropping off some documents that I asked him to run over to the mansion for me. I could have killed him right there. Morgan was on the floor, and he was on top of her. Rage engulfed me; I threw him off her and hooked him in the jaw. He went off, blurting shit about me putting her in her place and how I should be treating her.

‘Get out!’ I screamed over and over. He needed to leave before I ripped his head off. I couldn’t believe he touched her breast. Who the hell did he think he was?

‘Are you okay?’ I asked, pulling Morgan to her feet.

‘Yeah, I’m going to get some ice,’ she sadly said, walking away from me.

‘Morgan.’ I tried to reach her. I could tell she wasn’t so happy to see me anymore. She pulled away and left me standing. I had no idea how to handle her upset. I never cared before. I did what I knew how to do. I went to my office and worked.

I chose to go on the next trip. Things felt strained between us and I didn’t like it, nor did I know how to fix it. Maybe if I left for a couple days, she’d miss me. I’d come home, and we’d be back to normal, whatever that was.

‘Why are you leaving, Drew? Why didn’t you send Derik?’ she asked.

‘It’s something I need to take care of myself,’ I lied, moving onto my side of the bed.

‘I feel like it’s more than that. Are we okay?’

‘Let’s talk, Morgan.’

‘I sat up, forcing her out of my arm, wanting her to sit as well.’

‘Talk about what?’

‘Things, Morgan. There are things that we need to discuss, things I need to get out.’

‘No you don’t, Drew.’

‘I do. Can you just listen?’

‘Drew, please don’t do this. We’re fine. Don’t, okay?’

‘Morgan, what are you afraid of? What do you think I am going to tell you?’

‘I’m not sure, but you don’t have to say anything. Please, Drew. Just go on your trip and if you still feel the need to talk to me, you can do it when you get back, okay?’

‘Okay, okay,’ I said, calming her. She was really upset. Why? Was she afraid of the unknown? Or did she know?

Thank god, the couple days away from each other seemed to help. I was able to clear my mind and was determined to tell Morgan everything. I had to. She had to know. She needed to know what a piece of shit mother and father she had. She needed to know they sold her to a man that didn’t want her, a man who used and abused her. My mind was made up. I was telling her everything.

It didn’t happen, again. I couldn’t do it. Morgan was so happy to see me. She was so giddy and playful, I decided to wait. Ruining her good mood wasn’t going to happen, not that night anyway. We watched a ballgame together, ate ribs at the little sports bar she’d come to love, okay, I loved it too. They made the best ribs in Vegas. The country music could have been changed but Morgan liked it, so I dealt.

‘Oh, I love this, Drew. Buy it for me,’ Morgan teased as we walked around a pawnshop she’d found and had been browsing.

‘That thing came out of cereal box. What is it anyway? It looks like a pebble.’

‘It’s green sea glass, although I’m sure you’re right. It doesn’t look like an aged piece of sea glass.’

We stared at each other while Morgan remembered something. I hated this shit. I had to tell her.

‘How about a gun?’ she retorted, trying to recover the awkward moment.

I laughed. ‘What are you going to do with a gun?’

‘Shoot Derik between the eyes.’

I laughed again. ‘Let’s get out of here,’ I coaxed.

We walked through the streets hand in hand, flirting and being in love. We even seductively shared an ice cream cone. I hadn’t had an ice cream cone in years and watching Morgan lick it from cone to the tip caused my cock to twitch.

‘You act like you’ve done that before,’ I teased.

‘No, just trying to teach you how to do it.’

I gave her an unbelievable look. ‘I never hear you complain when I do it.’

She laughed and licked it again, leaving a cold clump of strawberry on the end of her tongue then she transferred it to my mouth. We stood in the middle of a busy sidewalk making out like a couple teenagers, and I didn’t care. What the hell was wrong with me? I didn’t do this shit. I had dignity and formality to live up to. I didn’t make out in the middle of the street.

‘Answer your phone,’ Morgan whispered, pulling away from my lips. I didn’t want to answer my phone. I wanted to take her home. The passion that sizzled between us was ridiculous. You’d think we were the only two people on the streets. You remember that night, Morgan?” Drew asked turning to me. I smiled with a slight nod and he continued, “I answered, ‘Hey, Randal.’

‘Where are you?’ he angrily asked.

‘Um, just taking a walk with Morgan, why?’

‘You’re supposed to be here. Remember? The Martins anniversary party? Ringing any bells?’

‘No, that’s tomorrow night.’

‘No, I assure you. It’s tonight. I’m giving you one hour to get my granddaughter over here. Do you understand me?’

‘Yes, we’ll be there.’

‘What was that all about?’ Morgan asked.

‘Evidently, we’re supposed to be at a dinner party with Callaway. He told me tomorrow night. I know he did. Come on.’

‘Drew, we’re in jeans.’

‘I know. We have to run home and change and get over there.’

‘Can’t you just tell him we’re not coming?’

‘No, Callaway doesn’t really work that way.’

‘And neither does his son.’

I stopped and turned to look at her. I’d only told her that one time. And it wasn’t post-accident. ‘He’s not my father,’ I coldly replied.

‘Oh, why did I think that?’

I didn’t respond, I held her hand and quickly dragged her back to the ball field to retrieve the car.

We quickly showered together, dressing in record time. Morgan piled her long hair on top of her head, added makeup, and looked stunningly beautiful for a thirty minute turnaround time. I used to think Skyler wore red well. Morgan put her to shame.

Callaway was pissed, I could tell. He didn’t tolerate anyone being late, but it was his fault. I even double checked. The email said Saturday, not Friday at all. I, of course, didn’t argue that fact with him. He lightened up after talking to Morgan for a bit, something she was forbidden to do before.

I smiled over at her when she gave me a look and ordered a bowl of strawberry ice cream. We missed the entire dinner, but neither of us really cared. We were living on love. At least I was. I didn’t need food. I only needed her.

‘Drew,’ Derik spoke, nudging my arm and breaking my trance with Morgan.

‘What?’ I asked. I was still pissed at him for his little episode with Morgan. He nodded and I sat up.

‘Shit.’ I wasn’t expecting to see her there. I hadn’t seen Skyler in months. She looked right at me, smiling like I was taking her home.

‘You don’t like the wine?’ Callaway asked Morgan. I can get you something else if you’d like.

‘No, it’s okay. I think I like beer a little more than wine.’

I tightened my lips to keep from speaking. He was going to give me hell for that. I was sure. Ladies didn’t drink beer, they sipped wine. I shook my head at my unbelievable wife. Callaway had our entire table drinking beer from tall glasses. She had more control over that man than I ever did.

‘Go dance, I love this song, and I love to see you two dance together,’ Callaway persuaded. I didn’t really want to dance with Morgan. Skyler was there with her parents, staring me down.

I placed her soft hand in mine and smiled down at her, leading her to the back corner away from the gazes of Skyler. Morgan wasn’t in my arms five seconds before we were both lost in a whirlwind of emotions. I didn’t care about Skyler, Callaway, or anyone else. Morgan was all I cared about, all I wanted for the rest of my life.  It’s ridiculous, I know, but I swear we were making love right there on the shiny floor.

‘Drew,’ Morgan whispered. I looked down at her, and I swear she was fighting the same thing I was. The expression on her face was the same as it was when I was making love to her. Her lips were parted slightly, her eyes were closed, and she tilted her head just like she did when I was inside her.

‘What?’ I softly responded to the corner of her lips.

‘Take me somewhere.’

‘Somewhere like where? Morgan,’ I asked, having a good feeling of what she was asking.

‘It won’t take long. It’ll be quick, I promise. All you have to do is lift my dress.’

‘You’re not wearing panties?’

‘No. Why would I? You never let me wear panties when we go out.’

I ignored the last comment. I didn’t care about what she was reflecting on at the moment. I pulled her hand and led her out a set of double doors.

‘You no come here. You go to other side. This only employees,’ spoke a boy in broken English.

I removed my wallet from the breast pocket of my jacket, held up two one hundred dollar bills, and bribed him to send us in the direction of a private room. He studied the crisp bills in my hand, snatched them, and led us down the hall.

‘You no touch nothing,’ he exclaimed.

Morgan and I both laughed, closing the door to some executive’s office in the hotel. ‘Would you like the settee, the desk, or the table,’ I asked, taking her in my arms.

‘The window.’

Fuck. I’ve never made love like that before. It was quick, not by my choice; we did have a party to get back to. Morgan placed her hands on the glass wall, overlooking Las Vegas night life, and I slid her dress up. Caressing her hips, I made my way to her wet pussy. Holy fuck, was she wet.”

Oh, my god, Drew… Okay, maybe I could still get embarrassed around Deidra.

“Keeping up the momentum with my fingers, I freed myself and slid into her. She moaned and placed her cheek against the cool glass while I moved in and out of her. We moaned together, sexy as hell emotions as we made love on top of the world. I don’t know if it was the city lights, the red dress, the sneaking in some guy’s office or what it was, but it was magical. I don’t care how cliché that sounds. It was fucking magic.”

“Kind of like the boulder?” I asked, bringing us back to the present and thinking about making love on top of the world overlooking the ocean. I’m not so sure we didn’t conceive Nicky that day.

“Exactly like that,” Drew agreed.

That was the third time Drew and I made love on top of the world. The second one was on the rooftop of a high class casino, right on top of the piano.

Drew paused, smiled, and continued his story, “Sliding out of Morgan, I spun her, lifted her legs around my waist and leaned her against the glass. ‘You have to come, Morgan. I’m not going to last much longer.’ Holy mother fucking hell. My cock grew another inch when she moved her hand down and began, massaging her little nub, helping me out. God, she needed to come.”

I cleared my throat, trying to warn my obstinate husband that he didn’t have to tell her every little detail.

He disregarded it and didn’t skip a beat. “Hoping like hell the room was soundproof, Morgan called out, contracting around my cock. That was it, I was finished. I thrust deep into her, filling her with my own pleasure. She kissed me with a smile.

‘Have we ever done that?’

I laughed, kissed her soft lips, and placed her feet on the floor. ‘No. Never. You have sex hair.’

‘Sex hair?’

‘Yes, you need to fix yourself before we go back out there.’

‘I will. I need to clean your mess anyway.’

‘My mess?’

‘Yes, I’m not walking around with you all over me.’

‘What are you trying to say? You don’t like my come in your pussy?’

She snickered and kissed me. ‘I love your come in my pussy. I don’t love it running down my leg.’

‘Oh. Come on, I’ll pay another hundred bucks to find you a private bathroom.’

‘I’m a lucky girl,’ Morgan teased me.” Drew smiled at Deidra and me. We were done with our session for today, and it felt like we were in a really good place this time.

Chapter 31

I didn’t think I was ever going to get out of the house. Drew hardly worked at all. I mean I was happy that he wasn’t working so much, but I wanted to go back to the sandwich shop to work on my plan that I didn’t have. I still didn’t know what I was supposed to say to the guy, and even if I could offer him money, how did I get it without Drew finding out?

Drew was tied up all day Tuesday with meetings. He whined a little when I asked to go over to Alicia’s, but Celeste helped when she interrupted, saying some important investor or someone was on hold. I didn’t pay much attention. I kissed him and told him to ride home with Celeste, she and I were going to make supper.

Alicia and I hung out by the pool with Vincent while the babies napped, and then left them with the nanny while she and I prepared a full course meal.

“Can I see your phone for a second?” I asked, Alicia, pretending to look around for mine. I knew I’d left it on the table by the door. I did that on purpose.

“Right there,” she nodded. “Where’s yours?”

“I don’t know. It’s around here somewhere,” I feigned ignorance.

I did a quick search on Alicia’s phone. The only thing I really needed was Drew’s driver’s license and most banks asked for social security numbers. I didn’t know Drew’s social security number. Drew knew mine, he kept the little blue card locked in his office safe. How was I supposed to get that? Some banks also required a four digit code, luckily the one I needed to get into didn’t require that. Lucky for me, like that was going to matter.

“What are you doing?” Alicia finally asked.

“Nothing, just looking for a something to send Caroline for her birthday,” I lied the perfect lie and handed her phone back. Maybe I should tell Alicia what I was up to. Maybe she would help me. No, she’d deem me crazy, tell Celeste, Celeste would tell Drew, and I’d be locked up for life.  I had to figure it out on my own. If I go through all this and find a string of pearls or something, I’m going to scream.

Drew arrived with Celeste around five, and we all sat down for our well thought out meal. Celeste and Drew both bragged about the old fashioned American meal. Our full course meal consisted of fat cheeseburgers with the works, homemade chili, cheese fries, fresh buttered broccoli, and one crisp dill pickle on each plate. Nicholas loved the dill pickle and wanted nothing else. I kept getting mad at Drew because he wouldn’t stop giving it to him so that I could get him to eat some real food.

We were going to have an issue with the discipline. I could see it now. Nicholas only had to scream or whine for something and Drew gave it to him. Nicky was smart, he caught on to that trick pretty quick. Drew gave him everything he wanted, I didn’t.

“Did Morgan tell you we were going to have another baby?” Drew asked, looking at Alicia after I took the pickle away from him and gave Nicky a bite of broccoli instead. I dropped my fork to my plate with a loud clink. I might have stabbed him with it had I not gotten it out of my hand.

“Oh, my god, Morgan! Why didn’t you tell me?” Alicia exclaimed excitedly.

“Because, we’re not having a baby. Drew fell down the steps and bumped his head,” I retorted, glaring at Drew.

He smiled and reached for the pickle, snapping off a piece for Nicholas. He whined, he wanted the pickle, and pushed the spoon of broccoli away.

Celeste saved the day and an argument by changing the subject, thank god.

“Are you getting a safety deposit box?” Celeste asked, looking at Alicia’s phone.

FUCK!!!!

“I don’t know. I thought maybe we should. You know for the kid’s birth certificate, socials, and stuff like that,” Alicia replied, right on target. I breathed a sigh of relief. I never thought about that happening. Celeste went on to tell her they didn’t need that, they had a walk-in safe in her office, and for her not to worry about things like that. She took care of it. , she was so much like Drew. Alicia gave me a look while, taking her unnecessary lecture. She knew I was up to something.

“You’re still doing lunch with me tomorrow, right?” Alicia asked at the door. I looked to Drew for the answer. I hadn’t mentioned that to him. He would throw a fit about it, I was sure.

“You’ve been together all day. Why do you need to do that?” Drew asked, taking Nicky from my arms. Drew really did think I liked being with him twenty four seven. It wasn’t all a control thing. He honestly thought I needed to be up his ass day in and day out. Mostly I did, but I still needed to breathe different air than him occasionally.

“Did you have plans for me tomorrow, Drew?” I smartly asked. You could say I was a little annoyed with my husband by the time we left. Alicia already lectured me about the way he controlled everything I did. I hated it when he did it in front of her. I couldn’t deny it all the time when he did that.

“No, I’m working, but I’ll be at home.”

“Yeah, so what? Yes, I’ll go. You picking me up or you want me to pick you up?” I asked. I didn’t mean to say the ‘so what’ part. It slipped.

“I’ll pick you up at one. Maybe we’ll go downtown and check out that new art museum.”

“Okay, talk to you tomorrow,” I said, saying goodnight. Drew didn’t speak, not to her anyway.

“And maybe you won’t,” he answered where only I could hear him. I knew he wouldn’t let me go downtown for whatever reason. He had a million of them, the traffic, drugs, rapes, the murderers, I might get lost, I could be in another accident, or the reason I think was behind it I could disappear again.

“You don’t need to have lunch with Alicia tomorrow. What do you want? I’ll have Marta make it for you,” Drew said, taking my hand in the car.

“I’m not sure what I will want tomorrow. It’s not about that and you know it. Drew you’re smothering me. You’ve got to stop.”

“I know. You’re right. You can go with Alicia, just promise me you won’t go downtown to some art museum.”

“I am not going to promise you that. Alicia and I are both grown women capable of handling society.”

“We’re not going to argue about it, Morgan. I don’t want you on or around the strip and that’s that. You can go to the little sandwich shop, the bookstore, library, even that dumb little pawnshop you like going to, but I don’t want you on the strip. I’m not talking about it anymore. I mean what I say.”

The pawnshop….That’s it. I could get money from the pawnshop. I had a jewelry box full of rings, necklaces, bracelets, broaches, and I was sure everything in there was worth a pretty penny or thousands. Drew would never miss it, and if he did, I’d just say I lost it.

“Morgan, did you hear me?” Drew interrupted my scheming thoughts.

“Yes, what part did you think I missed? The part where you gave me permission to go on this side of town, or was it the part where you were forbidding me to go to the strip.”

“Are we really going to do this?”

“No, Drew. We’re not doing this,” I agreed, deciding it wasn’t worth the fight. I wouldn’t win it anyway.

Drew needed to go work in his office for a while. Drew and I needed a timeout. He was irritated with me, and I was indisputably exasperated with him. He didn’t go back to work. He followed me upstairs with Nicholas. I changed his diaper, and Drew took him to the toy box. Nicky didn’t play with any of it. He made a mess, taking everything he could reach out and dropping it to the floor. Once in a while, he’d sit down and put it back, but that was more work. It was easier for Drew to put them back.

“You got him for a while? I’m going to take a bath.”

“Come here,” Drew coaxed, reaching for me with his hand. I didn’t want to go to him. I wanted him to leave me alone.

Drew pulled me to his lap, and I picked up a truck, spinning the wheels, trying to ignore Drew with a pout.

“Stop being mad at me,” he teased, poking my ribs.

“Stop,” I whined.

“I think it must be that time of month. You’re awfully grouchy.”

“I’m not grouchy. I’m tired of being treated like a teenager. I don’t need you tell me what’s best for me.”

“Morgan, it’s not about that. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you.”

“You can’t keep me locked up here with you because you worry about me.”

“I know. I’m trying. Give me some time. I’m getting there.”

“Okay, I agreed.” I knew this was hard for Drew. I knew he was trying and would hopefully lose his insecurities and trust me. I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle. I thought I was doing fine. I didn’t think I minded the way he was but in truth, I did. It made me think of life in Maine for the first time in a very long time.

That’s what I reflected on while I soaked in a hot bubble bath, life in Maine. Oh how I missed it. Not so much the cold winters, but the beach, my friends, Starlight, Lauren, and even Dawson. Dawson never treated me this way. I remembered asking his permission one afternoon to go out with Starlight and Lauren to see a movie. He looked at me like I had said the most ridiculous thing in the world. I never asked after that. I actually even taunted with it a couple times after that, like it was a really big deal to tell him I am doing something.

Dawson never cared what I did, or who I did it with. Drew would never be that way. We could hire a hundred Deidra’s and it wouldn’t matter. Drew was always going to want control over me. Was I willing to give it to him? I already had. I just wasn’t sure I was willing to let him keep it.

***

“You’re still mad at me,” Drew accused when I didn’t lay my book down and give him my full attention.

“No I’m not.”

“You are too. If you weren’t, you’d put that book down and pay attention to me.”

Do I know my husband or what?

“I’m at a really good part,” I countered.

“Read it to me.”

“No.”

“Take your panties off and read it to me.”

Stupid vagina.

Stupid vagina and stupid book. I really was at a good part. I would be rereading it again the following day. I have no idea what I was reading, and I wasn’t really thinking about what Drew was doing while I sat between his legs or what his fingers were doing to my pussy. My mind went to the first time Drew had done this. He was pissed about a deal that Derik had lost and was yelling at him in the living area where I was reading.

I sat just like this, between his legs, against his chest, while he reached around me, played with my pussy, and twisted my nipple while I read to him.

“Don’t stop,” Drew warned, just like he had the first time. I tried to keep reading words I couldn’t understand. I was losing. “Don’t come,” Drew also warned in my hair. I was screwed. I was going to come and then I was going to lay across my husband’s lap and take a spanking. I swear my pussy knew it too. Just thinking about it made me want to come.

“Don’t stop, Drew,” I moaned, writhing into his fingers, almost there when he stopped, hearing Nicholas fuss.

“Nicholas is crying.”

Holding his fingers with my hand, I rubbed them around my pulsating nub, myself. I wasn’t about to let him quit. I was right there. Drew rubbed, quicker and harder, letting me release.

“Let me up,” he demanded.

“Uh-uh, wait a minute,” I panted, needing to come down from my high first. “I’ll get him.”

“What is the problem here, little man?” I asked, turning the dim lamp on in Nicholas’s room. “Mommy’s trying to have an adult moment with your daddy. It’s time for you to go to bed.”

I picked him up, checked his dry diaper, and laid him back down with a kiss. I didn’t even have the blanket over him when he rolled over and pulled himself up again, determined he wasn’t going to bed yet. Mommy was determined that he was.

“What are you doing? He’s still crying,” Drew pointed out the fact, laying on his side, stroking his massive erection. Damn.

“He’s fine. He’s fed, bathed, read to, and dry. He’ll give up soon,” I assured him, taking his hardness in my hand.

“He probably wants you to rock him or something.”

“Drew, he’s fine.”

Damn it.

“I’ll rock him myself,” Drew said, getting up and pulling on a pair of boxers that did little to conceal his ready for me cock. Grrrrr.

I should have stayed in bed. I shouldn’t have taken it the way I did, but damn it, I didn’t want Nicholas to think all he had to do was yell a little, and somebody would come and give him what he wanted.

“Leave him in bed, Drew,” I followed, coming between him and Nicky.

“Move, Morgan.”

“No, Drew. There is nothing wrong with him. I don’t want him thinking all he has to do is throw a tantrum like his dad and he’ll get what he wants.”

“Excuse me?” Drew questioned in the tone. Shit, I wasn’t going for this either. I was going for sex. “You think I throw a tantrum to get what I want?”

“No, Drew. I’m only referring to Nicholas. There is nothing wrong with him. He’s just fighting sleep. Let’s leave him alone and let him fall asleep on his own.”

“Why? Because you’d rather have your pussy rubbed than take care of your son?”

“Really? You’re going to talk like this in front of our son?”

“He had no clue what I just said. Is that what your problem is, Morgan? Your pussy needs to be rubbed?” Drew asked, trying to move his fingers between my legs. I forced his hand away from me with a jerk, stepping away from him.

“I don’t need you to touch anything. Go ahead, get him up, teach him to get what he wants before he’s even two.”

“Shut up, Morgan. I’m warning you. Shut the hell up.”

“Fuck you,” I yelled, instantly feeling the back of his hand across my eye. It all happened so fast, I’m not even sure how many times he hit me. I know I was on the floor, he was on top of me, and poor little Nicky was screaming now, scared to death. That’s when Drew came to his senses, looked down in a realization of what he was doing to me and got up. He picked up Nicky, shushing and comforting him as he sat in the rocking chair. I scrambled to my feet and left them.

“Why, Morgan?” Drew asked, sitting on my side of the bed after getting Nicholas asleep and in bed.

“Why what?” I asked, still tasting blood from the inside of my lip.

“Why do you make me do that? Why can’t you just do what I tell you to do?” he asked, turning me to the side and rubbing my ass. Now he was going to punish me for making him hit me. We’d have amazing fucked up sex, and he’d be sorry. I either went along with it, enjoyed the honeymoon stage until the next time or else, well, I didn’t really have an or else. I did what he said or there were consequences. There were no other alternatives with Drew.  Drew didn’t really give me options.

“Get up here and lay across my lap.”

I routinely did what I was told. Frustrated, I let my body takeover, getting off on my husband leaving his hand print on my bare ass. Moaning as he dipped his finger deep into my pussy.

“Roll over, baby,” Drew, huskily coaxed. I knew what he was planning. I hated and loved it all at the same time. “On your stomach.” I knew what that was all about too. He couldn’t look at my battered face at the same time he made me come.

Drew positioned me how he wanted me, arching my hips and spreading my legs so that my entire backside was exposed to him. That wasn’t the embarrassing part.

Drew moved from the bed and I stayed still, listening to him retrieve whatever he was planning on using from the drawer. Feeling the squirt of cool gel on my ass, I felt the first smaller ball and then the next and next, until all five of the metal balls were inserted into my ass. Drew held his thumb there, insuring they stayed securely hiding in my ass while his other finger danced on my clitoris. I moaned, forgetting about the taste of blood or swelling beneath my eye. This time was way different than the other handful of times Drew had gotten me off like this. I didn’t feel the three squirts of liquid being forced from my body by my husband. I felt one, very long, powerful bout at the same time I felt the balls being pulled from my ass.

I was all but screaming in ecstasy, feeling my juices being spread all over my pussy and inner thighs by Drew’s hand. Where the hell did this man learn to do this stuff? I felt like I was falling, stuck in a whirling tornado, or flying through the air. It wouldn’t stop, the quavering deep in my core, pulsating over and over, causing me to drop to the bed.

Drew came to the side of my face and inserted his cock into my mouth. He fucked my mouth, rubbing the pad of his thumb over my bruising eye. He didn’t stay there as long as he normally would. He couldn’t look at my face and do this. I felt another squirt of K-Y jelly on my ass and then felt him slide in with a moan. Drew once again pulled me to my knees, holding my hands behind my back while fucking me in the ass.

“You know you bring this on yourself, don’t you, Morgan?” he asked, more for himself than me.

I moaned in agreement. I knew Drew was getting close when he went faster, deeper, and more aggressively, pumping in and out of my ass. He slowly pulled out, pumped his cock and released. Feeling the bouts hit my ass and core, he rubbed it around with his cock.

Just like always, the intense love making was over, and reality once again set in. I removed myself from the bed and went to the shower. Drew joined me, kissing every little place his hands hurt me.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to go with Alicia, go to the sandwich shop, or to our next appointment with Deidra. Drew went, and I listened, participating through a conference call on my bed. I was trying to avoid Marta, feigning an illness. I would be so mad at Drew if she quit again. Of course things were wonderful between us. They always were after Drew hit me. Drew could win the husband of the year award ten times over after this happened. And I devoured it, forgetting as much as I could about the bruises on my face.

“Are you here with us, Morgan?” Deidra asked over the phone at the start of the conference call.

“I’m here,” I replied, sitting Indian style, getting cozy for the session that Drew was attending without me.

“I hope you’re feeling better.”

“I’m fine, just a little bug.”

“Okay, we’ll just have Drew do most of the talking. Feel free to jump in anytime.”

“I will.”

“You can pick up where you left off last week,” she offered.

How the hell did he do that? I didn’t even know where he left off. He remembered though, and it took me a minute to remember where he was the week before. Oh yeah, he was about to talk about the day I’d regained my memory.

“I left Morgan sleeping the following morning,” Drew began. “I was only going to Dallas, and would be back in a day. I thought about sending Derik, but wanted to see the merchandise myself. I definitely didn’t want the store, but I was interested in the retail. The building was too old and not in an upscale part of the city where I would have even considered it. It was best I took care of it myself. As I said, I’d be in and out in a day.

Morgan was gone when I checked in on her later in the afternoon. I didn’t call her, figuring she and Marta went out for lunch, the library, or maybe even the park. I had a meeting with the owner of Jan’s Jewels anyway, and I was trying to give her space, not worry about her so much.

I called a little later when I logged on, concerned seeing her sleeping on our bed. She promised she was fine and didn’t need Dr. Tharp. We talked again before she went to bed and once again she promised she was fine.

I never thought a thing. Everything looked perfectly normal to me. I couldn’t wait to get home. I checked in on Morgan the next day she was in the kitchen with Marta, sending her out of the house for the weekend. I shook my head, buttoning my cuffs, amused at her. She knew I hated when she did that. I didn’t mind her sending Marta away. I just wanted her to wait until I was home. I didn’t like her being there alone.

I wouldn’t be long though. I would be in the air and back home within two hours. And I was glad that Marta was leaving us alone for the weekend. It insured I’d be exploring Morgan’s body all over the house. That made me very excited.

Coming from the bathroom, I lifted my jacket from the chair and slid in one arm. I was just getting ready to close my laptop when I froze. Morgan went black in an instant. Where the hell did she get that bat? Better question, what the hell was she doing? She’d lost her mind for sure. I dialed her number watching the camera views on my screen disappear after the contact of the bat, because she had demolished them. She knew. She remembered. Fuck. She remembered and I wasn’t there with her.

“You don’t need to call me you son of a bitch. You can hear every word I’m saying,” she screamed. One by one I watched the cameras being smashed by Morgan’s deadly hands and a wooden bat; I was wondering where the hell she got it from.

Debating on what to do, I dialed Derik. He was my only option. Someone had to calm her down.

‘How’d it go?’ he answered, nonchalantly.

‘Derik go to the mansion. Now! Morgan knows. She knows everything.’

‘What? How do you know?’

‘She’s smashing cameras with a bat. Get over there and calm her down.’

‘I told you this would happen. What does she know?’

“I don’t know. I’m on my way now. Don’t you fucking touch her. You understand me?’

‘Yeah, I hear ya,’ he replied. I wasn’t convinced. Fuck. I needed to be home. If he so much as laid one finger on her, I’d kill him.

That was the longest two hours of my life. Running to the car, I dialed Morgan’s phone with no answer. Derik wouldn’t answer his either. Shit. Something happened. Something was wrong. I could feel it.

I had no idea what the hell happened. Derik was MIA, Morgan wasn’t answering her phone and there was no sign of her when I finally entered the house.

‘Morgan,’ I called to the empty house.

‘I ran upstairs, the den, the kitchen, my office, she wasn’t anywhere. Where the hell was she? It was a long shot, but I walked down the long hall where Michael once slept and where I’d once kept Morgan locked for days. She wouldn’t go down that way. She always said it gave her the creeps and left an eerie feeling in her bones. I, of course, knew why she felt that way. I felt that way about that room too.

‘Morgan,’ I softly spoke.

Her words will haunt me for the rest of my life.

‘Do you think it’s still Stockholm syndrome when you fall in love with the Drew that you didn’t know?’

I hated the thought of that. Stockholm syndrome. What a filthy word and she felt that way. She thought I was a monster.

She’d no doubt lost her mind. She stood and pointed the gun right at my head when I tried to go to her. That was the first time in my life that I’d felt real pain. She cried, shaking and screaming out everything I’d ever done to her. Her entire life had been a bad joke and I made it worse.

‘You hit me, Drew. You hurt me,’ she cried over and over. Her words rang like sound waves, repeating incessantly, ‘You hit me, you hurt me.’

I’d finally done it. Everything that had been bothering her over the last few months was out. She knew. I spent an hour confessing and explaining through a microphone, just like I’d spoke to her many times. Knowing she was crying from everything that I was saying to her, I wanted to go to her. I wanted to hold her and take away the pain, the pain that I caused. The pain that I could have kept from her, and now the fury that I felt learning that Derik had raped her, not once, not twice, but multiple times. I let that happen to her too.”

I could have interrupted Drew at that moment. I almost told him that I forgave him, and not to be sad over it. I didn’t say anything when I felt the pain in my eye after touching it. Brushing my hair back in a breath of disgust about all of this, I felt it, deciding to keep quiet and let Drew talk.

“Locked in that room for four hours, I paced, cussed screamed, and hated myself. Would she really leave me there? What did she mean with my sheriff? She was really going to marry another man while being married to me? That meant he fucked her. I’d kill that son of a bitch. Some other man had his hands on Morgan. My mind was all over the place. What right did I have to be angry with a man that evidently did what I didn’t? He loved her. Why didn’t I love her? Why couldn’t I have been the prince charming that day when she turned eighteen, picked her up with a white horse and carriage, and got to know her?

Not even a year before I would have been fretting about her exposing me to Callaway, telling him all that I had done to her. That wasn’t what I was worried about. I didn’t care about any of it. I was worried that I was going to lose her. I couldn’t lose her. It could have been great. I could have shown her so much. We could have experienced a whole world together. Why did I have to be such an ass?

I excitedly looked up when I heard the lock on the door hours later. Morgan stood, staring at me. Taking a step forward she stopped me with her hand on my chest. I stopped.

‘I don’t want any of this,’ she stated, taking a step back and crossing her arms. ‘I want to go home. I want to go to Maine where I have friends.’

I nodded. What else was I going to do? What right did I have?  ‘I’ll have Felix fly you there.’

I tried to tell her how sorry I was, how much I loved her, but expectedly it didn’t work. She left.

I should have given her space, let her have a moment to breath, soak it all in. I couldn’t do it. I called to make sure she made it to Maine okay, and then later on that night. The height of my day became my nightly conversations with Morgan. Two whole weeks, I went without seeing her. I couldn’t take it. I had to see her. There had to be some reason for me to go to her.

‘I want to find my mom,’ she confessed as we talked on the phone.

That was all I needed. I’d find her mother and deliver the news.

I didn’t really have a hard time at all finding Amanda.  She had married a handyman, opened a bed and breakfast in North Carolina, and had a daughter. I delivered the news to Morgan the very next day.

I would almost say that was the best couple days of my life. I mowed her grass for her, changed her oil, and hunted sea glass, my new favorite thing to do. I actually found one of the rarest colors there is: black. I was going to do something special with it, for Morgan. We made love on top of the world again, this time overlooking the ocean.

And then we had a fight. Morgan left her laptop on the table while she showered. I would have been fine with the email from Dawson, offering to let her go. It was hers that pissed me off. She was downright, yelling, telling him not to do this, not to throw what they had away. I was fighting a losing battle. I’d never win. The cards were stacked against me and good guy Dawson would win.

I took off walking, calling Felix to get the plane ready. The town wasn’t too far away and I hoped someone would pick me up. I made it to the stop sign, shaking my head when I saw the good guy sheriff’s car. The car parked behind his cruiser was also familiar. They never came up for air until I was right upon them. I was fuming. I was pissed. Morgan didn’t deserve this shit. Not only was Dawson supposed to be in love with her, Lauren was supposed to be her friend. Wasn’t there some sort of girl rule about that—?”

“Drew,” I had to interrupt. What did he mean? He knew about that before I did?

“I’m sorry, Morgan.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Don’t you think things would have gone a lot smoother and been a little easier on me, had you told me that Dawson was seeing Lauren behind my back?”

“No. I don’t think that at all. I think you would have called me a snake and a liar. You would have accused me of making it up to win.”

Hmm, Drew had a point. I would have done that then. “Go on,” I requested, waiting to hear the rest.

“Dawson made excuses. ‘This isn’t what you think. Is Morgan okay?’ Dawson asked. I wanted to punch him. He had his tongue halfway down Lauren’s throat, asking if Morgan was okay.

Lauren backed away from Dawson, looking sorry herself. I wanted to slap her too. How could she do this? How could either of them do this to her? Didn’t they think she’d been through enough?

‘I’ll talk to you later.’ Lauren smiled at Dawson and walked back to her car. I glared at her, shooting daggers at her.

‘Stay away from Morgan,’ I instantly fumed at Dawson. I didn’t care what kind of law enforcement he was. I was ready to beat the hell out of him. How could he do this? She was sitting at home confused as hell about what to do, and he was doing her supposedly best friend.

‘You don’t know shit. Lauren knows where I stand with her. She knows that if I have the slightest chance with Morgan, I’m taking it.’

‘You don’t have a fucking chance in hell with Morgan,’ I yelled, shoving him against his car.

He shoved me back. ‘And you think you deserve that chance? You remember one damn thing. I was the one there to calm her down when she woke terrified of the things you did to her. You think you deserve her? You deserve to rot in prison for what you did. I only got close to someone else while spending hours and hours looking for Riley, afraid she was with you and what you were doing to her. You stay away from her and let her decide.’

‘One, her name is not, and never has been Riley. And two, if she chooses me, you can just go next door to Lauren.’

‘Fuck you, man. You have no right to look down on me. None.’

Dawson kindly gave me a lift into town, and we bickered back and forth the whole five minutes. I could see how Morgan would fall for a guy like him. Had I not just caught him kissing her best friend, I would have thought him to be a nice guy. Nice guys didn’t fuck your best friend.

I did my best to leave Morgan alone and let her figure this out on her own. I was sure that Dawson would come clean with her and be out of the picture in no time. I did buy her a nice car and had it delivered. I wasn’t about to let her travel in that piece of shit Honda she was driving. I, however, didn’t realize it was going to take her six weeks to decide.

I spent my time, trying to get my new assistant on board and up to par. I have to say that out of every guy that I interviewed Celeste Johnson was the most qualified. Maybe qualified wasn’t the word, she was a hard ass, reminded me a lot of myself. She was ten times better than Derik ever was. I may have even been a little intimidated by her.

Our very first prospect together was an actor, proposing to his actress girlfriend. We’d flown to New York City together, wined and dined the guy, and then showed him the very expensive merchandise. I’d told Celeste to keep her mouth shut and to only observe. Thankfully he fell in love with the most expensive piece I brought. The only problem was he’d told Mystified Jewels of New York he would give them a chance as well and would take a look at what they had. I nodded, telling him that I understood.

‘We recognize your need to see what Mystified has to offer, however, Mr. Stewart, this piece will no longer be available after tomorrow. Would you like for me to put a hold on the next best thing for a couple days?’ Celeste spoke up.

‘What do you mean? You can’t hold that one for me? That’s my first choice,’ he argued.

‘I wish I could, but it’s been promised to another actor after today. I would be happy to hold the other one for you.’

‘What actor?’

Celeste crossed her legs, tilted her head, and smiled. ‘You know that I can’t disclose that information. I’m sure you’ll read it in a magazine or see it on E later this month when he proposes.’

‘You know what? Let’s just wrap this up. I’ll have the money to you by tomorrow,’ the actor quickly replied.”

Chapter 32

“And this was around the time Nicholas was born,” Deidra interjected.

“Yes, I’m sure Nicholas was conceived that weekend.” Drew replied. “I should have contacted Morgan sooner. I knew Callaway was in bad shape, I’d just stopped by a few days before. I didn’t think he was on his death bed. I didn’t think he was going to die. I was planning on calling her as soon as I had some loose ends tied up with some business I’d been dealing with.

‘That makes no sense at all, Drew, Why would you move the 32nd Street store? Its profit margin was over thirty percent past goal last month. Move the Garland store if you want that location,’ Celeste pleaded her case. She was good. She was real good.

‘Hmm? Garland is in a lower traffic area. Call Burnside Realty, go check out the location. This might work,’ I decided, thinking about it. I was surprised to see Callaway flash across my ringing phone. He hadn’t personally called in at least a couple months. ‘Hello, how are you feeling?’ I answered.

‘Mr. Kelley, this is Wanda. Mr. Callaway passed about an hour ago.’

‘Why didn’t you call me? Morgan would have wanted to be there.’

‘Mr. Callaway asked that I didn’t.’

‘Okay, and the arrangements? Does Morgan need to do anything? Do I need to do anything?’

‘No. Mr. Callaway had everything taken care of before his death. I’ll keep you posted on the arrangements.’

‘I’m sorry. Family problem?’ Celeste asked.

‘Not mine. My wife’s grandfather just passed. I need to go to her.’

‘Your wife, you’re married?’ Celeste asked shocked. I guess I wasn’t one to talk about my personal life, and Morgan had been missing in action for weeks now. Shock was understandable.

‘Yes, she’s visiting her mother. Can you—’

‘Yes, yes. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve got things here. Go take care of what you need to.’

‘I’ll be back tomorrow. Double check the lunch reservation with Sturgeon, I’ll meet you there when I get back.’

‘Drew, I can take care of Sturgeon. You can be with your family.’

‘I’m fine. Just do what needs to be done here. I’ll see you tomorrow.’

***

I was nervous as hell to come face to face with Morgan’s mother. I hadn’t been the most pleasant son in-law the first time I met her. Actually, I was downright nasty to her. She’d probably throw me out of her house. What did Morgan tell her? Did she know that Morgan had been living in Maine, that she was in an accident, worse of all, had she told her about our first six years of marriage?

‘Hello, um, I really need to speak with Morgan,’ I anxiously requested, shifting from foot to foot at the door. Amanda didn’t look like she had ten years before. She was very attractive, not what I remembered at all. She crossed her arms and leaned against the threshold not inviting me in.

‘I’m not sure I should let you see her.’

‘Her grandfather passed,’ I blurted out. I didn’t know what else to say. The first time I’d met her, she was scum on the bottom of my shoe and now I was the one intimidated.

‘I’m not sure who should be doing the judging here,’ Amanda stated.

‘Excuse me?’ Shit. Morgan told her. She knew everything.

‘I’m not sure why my daughter would stray from a man of your fortunate looks, had she been given what she needed at home.’

‘Okay, I’ll give you that, but you’re right. I’m not sure who should be the judge here either. From my recollection, you didn’t earn mother of the year with her.’

Amanda pouted her lips and nodded. ‘I guess you’re right. Let’s let god be the judge. She’s out in the shed.’

Jesus, was I ever in love with my wife. Seeing her playing and laughing with her little sister gave me a warm feeling that I’d never had before. I’d never had a family any more than Morgan had. She was in love with me too, I could tell as soon as she turned to see me. And having her throw herself in my arms was heart melting. She felt amazing, like she belonged. She did belong. She belonged right here with me.

***

I really hoped her brother Justin would be at the funeral. I could tell she was looking around for him. He never showed, not that I was all that surprised, Callaway wasn’t the most liked man in Vegas.

I was going to do everything I could do to keep Morgan right here in Vegas with me. She belonged with me. She didn’t belong in Maine with that cheating ass.”

‘You cheated too, Drew,’ I reminded him. I liked being on the phone and not in front of him. I felt like I could say more without his eyes being on me.

“Yes, I know. I did it, but not after I fell in love with you. I did it when I was young and pissed that I was being forced to marry you, and I thought I loved Skyler. I never loved Skyler, not like I love you, Morgan. And if you want me to get technical about it I can. You did it too. You cheated on me as much as I cheated on you.”

“Really, Drew? You’re going to play that card? I hated you, I left you, I wasn’t with you anymore, and I don’t feel as though I cheated on you at all.”

“You think that’s how it was, Morgan? You don’t think the nine fucking months that I spent waiting, trying to let you make your own choice wasn’t cheating? You fucked us both for practically your whole pregnancy.”

“How do you think that what you did was any different from what Drew did?” Deidra asked. Was she really going to take his side?

“You have no idea what went on in this house for six years. You have no right to judge me for anything,” I yelled getting angry. Yes. I liked the phone barrier that we now had.

“I don’t know because every time I ask you to talk, you shuffle it over to Drew. You don’t want to talk, and I can’t make you. Do I think Drew has issues? Hell yeah I do, but so do you.”

“My issues stem from Drew,” I argued. Was she really going to jump on his bandwagon? How dare she. We were friends. We had drinks together.

“I’m sure you have issues from Drew, but I don’t think they all came from him. I think you had abandonment issues long before Drew. I think they emanate from early on in your childhood, starting with your grandmother Joyce.”

“You know nothing about my grandmother.”

“I know you told me she was the only one who ever cared, the only one who was ever there for you, and I know she was the first person that left you that cared about you.”

“I cared about my mother and brother.”

“I didn’t say who you cared about. I said who cared about you. You’re mother left you to tend to an infant while she was out drinking.”

“She has nothing to do with Drew and me. We’ve mended our fences.”

“Morgan, you don’t have to get defensive with me. I’m not saying that the relationship you have with your mother now is not amazing. I’m saying that you too have buried issues that you’re not willing to let go of. Like your part in leading two men on while you were pregnant.”

“That is not how it was. That was all Drew’s fault. I was doing just fine staying away from him. He’s the one that wouldn’t leave me alone long enough to figure things out.”

“Morgan, you’re not seeing things from how they really went down,” Drew debated.

“Yes, I am. You’re not seeing things from how they really were. I never called you. You always called me.”

“And when I didn’t, you gave me hell. Did you really think I was going to lie down and let you be with that cheating slime ball? You wouldn’t let me lay down. You didn’t have to jump on a plane and go every time I told you to, but you did. You came to me, fucked me like no one else, and told me that you loved me, many times. Remember that, Morgan?”

Well, hell.

“You think I wasn’t going off the deep end, thinking about that lowlife being in bed with you? I made myself sick, thinking about him kissing all over you and then hopping next door.”

“So this is something that you harbor ill feelings towards Morgan over?” Deidra asked.

“Fuck yes, I do. She kept us both on a string until she knew who fathered Nicholas.”

“And what if Nicholas would have belonged to Dawson, would you have left her alone then?”

“Probably not,” Drew replied in a defeated tone.

“You were willing to raise another man’s child just to have Morgan?”

“Yes. I would do anything to keep Morgan. I didn’t care about what blood ran through Nicholas’s veins. He’s mine. He’ll always be mine.”

“Nobody’s taking Nicky from you, Drew,” I said through the phone. I would never be one of those mothers who put their child in the middle. Nicky loved his daddy, anybody could see that.

“Nobody is taking you either, Morgan.”

I didn’t reply to that. I had nothing to say about it at the time.

“Okay, we’re going to wrap this up, Morgan. I’ll see you next week, okay?” Deidra asked, questioning my presence the next week.

“Yes, I’ll be there. I’ll see you at home, Drew,” I said before hanging up.

I hesitated when I heard Deidra ruffle around, like she was standing or something. She didn’t hang up the call.

“Not so fast, Drew,” I listened. “Why isn’t Morgan here?”

“I told you. She’s sick. She didn’t feel like coming today.”

“Hmmm, interesting.”

“What?”

“Every other time you’ve hit her neither of you show up.”

“I didn’t hit her,” Drew lied.

“Do you not hit her often?” Deidra continued.

“I never mean to hit her, and I feel like a piece of shit when I do.”

“But you can’t control it because you need to have all the control over her, right?”

“No, I wouldn’t say that.”

I would.

“I have something I call a five rule that I use for women in Morgan’s situation. Do you want to answer my five rules for her?”

“Sure, I would know what she’d say.”

Yeah, sure you would. I suddenly wished I could talk after hearing the questions being asked to Drew. I couldn’t. I didn’t know if I was still on speakerphone or not.

“One—do you control her friends, when and where she is allowed to go?”

“To a certain point. I mean, I let her hang out with Alicia. I don’t condone her going to bars with her therapist.”

“But you do say when and where she goes,” Deidra stated, not asking. “Two—do you control the finances?”

“Of course I do. Morgan knows nothing about that stuff. She has a credit card, if she wants something, she buys it.”

That part was true. I was always careful of what I bought though, knowing I would have to explain it when I got home.

“Three—do you control her social media, check her phone, her messages, stuff like that?”

“Morgan hands me her phone. I don’t demand it.”

“Hmhmm.”

Liar.

“Four—do you control the way she looks, tell her what to wear?”

“That one is a definite, no. I did pre-accident and tried like hell after, but she refuses to dress up around the house.”

“And you like that, or you would be controlling that too,” Deidra once again stated, knowing it to be fact. “Five—do you control when and what goes on in the bedroom? Do you feel that she has womanly duties?”

“I don’t know. Yes, I think she has womanly duties. I take care of everything else, the least she can do is make sure I’m satisfied in the bedroom. I let her tell me what she wants though.”

He was such a liar. Yes, Drew loved it when I told him to go down on me, did he do it? Yes, on his terms when he was ready.

“What do you think about coming in without Morgan? Maybe start working on some of your control issues.”

“I don’t think that is our problem at all,” Drew stated.

Of course he didn’t.

“Drew, the first step is admittance. You have to accept and admit that you have a problem. This may be the hardest step for you, and I think that’s why we might want to do this without Morgan for a bit. You don’t think of yourself as physically violent, but you are. I see it, and I have a feeling your wife is at home with a battered face right now, unable to go out in public.”

“You don’t understand our relationship.”

“And you think Morgan does? You think she wants you to hit her?”

“I wonder sometimes. I mean, Morgan is the only one that can push every button I have. She knows when she’s crossing the line. She knows what the outcome will be, and yet she still does it.”

“And you think it’s your job to draw that line for her? Who are you to tell another human being where the line is? You think you’re higher and mightier than most?”

“Fuck you. You don’t know shit.”

“Oh, I think I know more than what you’re willing to give me credit for. I can’t help you, Drew, unless you’re willing to help yourself. Do you think Morgan isn’t going to get tired of living under your rules, or having consequences if she crosses your line? Are you willing to take that chance, of her giving up?”

“She wouldn’t give up. She knows me. She knows I love her more than life. I don’t need anyone but her and my son.”

“And she knows that you’re always going to keep her at a level just below you. Let’s wrap it up. Give me a call if you want to schedule something private.”

“I don’t,” I heard Drew say, and then the door slammed.

I hung up, taking a deep breath. Drew may not have gotten anything from their one-on-one, but I did. Deidra was right. I had two choices. I could keep on loving this Drew, and never hold him accountable for his actions, or I could move on. Would Drew ever even let me move on? I doubted it, not without a fight, but how much could he really fight? I had the money, and I knew that Walker would help me with anything that I needed. Mr. Callaway assured me of that long ago. Walker was more interested in my wellbeing than Drew’s. I was sure of that.

Chapter 33

It was the following Tuesday before I finally got out of the house. Marta knew, she’d been with me for a long time now. She knew I wasn’t sick, but surprisingly she only gave me a pitiful smile, letting me know how dumb I was. She never mentioned my sudden illness that kept me upstairs unless she was out of the house. I smiled back, confirming her suspicions.

Drew and I never talked about the divided therapy, not that we ever did, but I thought maybe he would say something about how I defended Dawson. He didn’t, and I didn’t mention it either. He never gave me a time to be back, asked where I was going, or what I was going for when I told him I was meeting Alicia for lunch. Maybe that was a good sign and maybe it wasn’t. I don’t know, it just felt strained between us for whatever reason. I mean, nothing had really changed, and I doubted that Deidra’s twenty minutes of one-on-one fazed him. Drew didn’t really work off of guilt or blame.

“I’ll see you in a while,” I said, reaching up to kiss him.

“Okay, see you later,” he offered, kissing me. What the hell? I needed more than Deidra. Drew wasn’t asking a million questions, demanding to know my every move, or insisting anything. He was just letting me go. I didn’t like it. Why didn’t I like it? I should have been jumping for joy. I wasn’t. I felt rejected. This was so fucked up.

“I love you,” he said with warm words to my lips and a pat on my ass, beckoning me to leave him alone so he could work. That was it. Just like that, he let me go without one dominating order. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

“I was beginning to think you were avoiding me,” Alicia said, standing. My eyes went right towards the counter. Yes. He was working. Now what?

“I would never avoid you. I love you. What would I do without you?”

“You know you can call and talk to me anytime, right?” Alicia offered.

“Yes, of course. How’s my baby girl.”

“Fussy. She got her first shots yesterday.”

“Ahhh, poor baby.”

“I know. Celeste walked her up and down the hall half the night.”

“I thought she looked tired.”

“What are you doing? Why do you keep looking at that guy?”

I took a deep breath. I needed Alicia. I needed her help if I was ever going to pull this off.

“Remember that key I found in the envelope?”

“No, Morgan. Let it go. You’re not going to go play detective. The safety deposit box is in Drew’s name. He’s the only one that can get in there.”

“Yes, but if I could pay this guy to cut his hair like Drew’s, wear a designer suit, and steal Drew’s driver’s license, it might work.”

“You have lost your mind. You think that guy is going to take a chance on going to prison for you, cut his beautiful hair, and impersonate Drew? You’re crazy. Stop it. You’re not doing this. How would you pay the guy anyway? Drew keeps you under lock and key and controls your checkbook.”

“With this,” I taunted with a very expensive necklace.

“Now you’ve really lost it.”

“Come on, Alicia. You’re the only person I have. Help me, please,” I begged.

“Morgan, what do you think is in there?”

“I don’t know, but it just doesn’t make sense. Why would Drew need a safe at the bank? There’s something in there that he doesn’t want me to ever find. I know it and I need to find out for myself.”

“You’re going to pawn your necklace to pay this guy? What if he says no?”

“Then I will let it go, but I have to try. He’s working in a sandwich shop. I don’t know how much this thing is worth, but I’m sure it would be enough to persuade him.”

“I’m sure of it too, but what are you going to tell Drew?”

“I’ve already thought about that. I wore it out of the house today. I’m going to whine about losing it when I get home. He’ll never know the difference.”

“You’re serious about this?” Alicia asked as my new friend placed our customary sandwiches in front of us.

“Very,” I replied, looking at the resemblance again. I smiled at the guy, hoping to inch my way in a little.

“Morgan, he really doesn’t look that much like Drew,” Alicia tried discouraging me.

“He does too. You’re the one that pointed it out. I bet if we get him a haircut, and put him in a suit, he would pass just fine using Drew’s identification.

“And what if it doesn’t work? How do you plan on getting Drew’s license from him? And Celeste already gave me hell for lying for you; you know when you sneakily used my phone to find out what you needed to get in.”

“What did you tell her? I don’t want her saying anything to Drew.”

“She won’t, but she forbade me to get involved. She sort of needs her job, especially now that I am a stay at home mom.”

“Drew can’t fire her. Technically she works for me.”

“Not really. You have no say in anything you do.”

That pissed me off. I didn’t like her insinuating things she had no clue about. Well, maybe a little clue, but I still didn’t want her meddling. “Are you going to help me or not?”

“I hate you. What do you want me to do?”

“Yes! And I love you.”

***

Now I really hated Deidra, no, not Deidra, I loved her. I hated these sessions more now than ever. We were pretty much finished with the dirty laundry, and Deidra wanted to dig deeper. I didn’t want to dig anything. Drew and I were already feeling the tension. We had for a couple weeks now, and I didn’t like it one bit.

“Let’s talk about the harsh truth now,” Deidra began.

Great, just what I wanted to hear, her view on the harsh truth. “I’m not sure you see the potential danger you are in, Morgan,” she began.

Drew got up and ran his fingers through his hair, pacing the floor. He didn’t say anything though. He let her continue.

“I’m not in any danger,” I assured her. “We don’t have that kind of relationship.”

“Really? Now, I’m very interested,” Deidra snidely commented, crossing her arms and ankles, leaning against her desk. “Explain to me what you do have, Morgan.”

“I don’t know. You answer that, Drew.”

“No, Drew is not going to answer that. You always want Drew to do the talking. Let’s have Morgan do the talking today.”

I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to get out of there and meet Alicia. I was more concerned with how far she got with our new friend than I was hashing things out with Deidra. “You call it whatever what you want. Your opinion of Drew and me is just that, your opinion.”

“Okay, I’ll call it. You can stop me if I’m wrong. I think you’re with Drew for maybe a couple reasons. First thing, you don’t know any better.”

“I don’t know any better? That’s stupid.”

“Is it? I think it’s a very good possibility. You never grew up with that. You never had that role model in your life. You were lacking men that loved and nurtured their woman. You told me yourself that your father hit your mother.”

“He wasn’t my father, and this isn’t some damn movie where everything is a mirage. How many relationships have you been in? What makes you the relationship expert? You think because you went to school for a few years, got a piece of paper awarding you some degree, that makes you an expert?”

“Morgan?” Drew questioned my mental state, interrupting my rant.

I shot him a dirty look. Did he have any room at all to calm me down? I think not. What the hell was I getting so worked up for anyway? It was Alicia. I wanted to know what the hell was going on there, and it had me anxious as hell. “Go ahead with your observation of my life,” I calmly said to Deidra.

“Okay, let’s just say that’s only one piece of the puzzle. Let’s add another piece and I will speculate about it, that’s it. I’m not giving facts, okay?”

“Whatever, go ahead, speculate.”

“I think you have thought for a very long time now that you can change him.”

“Drew has changed.”

“Has he?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Yes. He has.”

“Why couldn’t you make it in last week, Morgan? Drew is never going to change. Drew has no reason to change.”

“I have every reason in the world to change,” Drew interjected.

“What? Give me one reason you have to change,” Deidra countered.

“Right there, sitting right in front of you.” Drew waved his hand towards me.

“Why would you change for her? You have everything you want with her. She is your biggest enabler. I see no reason you need to change for Morgan. She lets you tell her what, when, where, and how. She hides away, battered and bruised until the evidence has disappeared so nobody thinks ill of Drew. I’ve told you before, Mr. Kelley, I’m not here to bow down to you like most people do. If you don’t want the cold hearted truth, by all means, there’s the door.”

Drew didn’t move. Drew was caving. He knew she spoke the truth. Why wasn’t he demanding that we leave?

“Morgan, there is nothing wrong with you believing you can change your husband. A lot of women stay with abusive men because of that reason. You can’t change him, Morgan.”

“What good do you think this is doing? Are you trying to get my wife to leave me?”

“No, Drew. Not at all. I’m trying to get your wife to understand that she can’t change you. You have to change you, and whether you want to own up to it or not you have a short fuse when it comes to Morgan. Call it your buttons or whatever you want, but I am afraid for her. I don’t like her being alone with you.”

“I’m not going to hurt her.”

“You do hurt her, Drew,” Deidra pled. Drew looked at me with haunted eyes. I wasn’t sure what to say. He did hurt me, but it was okay. He knew when to stop, and the way he was after it, made it all worth it. Oh, god. What was I saying? I just told myself that it was okay for Drew to hit me because he’d be nice to me afterwards.

“Would you say that the times Drew has hit you over the past few months have become more frequent?” Deidra asked me.

Dropping my head, I answered in a quiet tone. “Yes.”

“Would you say that you’ve also changed over the last few months?”

“No, I don’t think so. Have I Drew?” I looked to my sad husband.

“You’re not silly with me anymore,” Drew admitted like it had just dawned on him.

“What do you mean?” Deidra asked while Drew and I stared at each other scared, afraid of what was happening to us.

“You’re back to just existing with me. I don’t want that.”

“What do you want, Drew? What does Morgan do that makes you happy? How do you want her to be?”

Drew shrugged one shoulder. “A couple months back, we left here after a pretty intense session. Morgan drove because I had a few drinks here.”

“Let’s go to McDonalds and get a happy meal.” I smiled, remembering my words and making Drew happy.

“I thought she needed comfort food, so I agreed. She literally ordered us two cheeseburger happy meals. We played doctor that night with the tiny toy flashlights. Mine broke in ten minutes.” Drew smiled at me with a crooked, gloomy grin. “I want that Morgan. I want the silly Morgan, the one that’s not afraid of me.”

“I’m not afraid of you, Drew.” I wasn’t afraid of him, was I?

“I think you guys have something special, I think you have a love for each other that most people never know. I also feel like you’re in a romantic entanglement, treading on dangerous territory. You’re going to snap, Drew. Something bad is going to happen. I can’t help you if you think you’re fine.”

“I’m not fine.” Drew admitted.

“Morgan, you have to realize, you cannot change Drew. You can only change the way you react to him. We’ll work on a few exercises, so you know better how to handle the situations. Remember that it’s not you. It’s deeper than that, rooted in multiple layers of Drew’s emotions and perspectives, and you can’t argue with logic with an unreasonable person. I don’t want you to try anymore. Okay?”

“Don’t try to talk him down?” I asked.

“You don’t do that,” Drew stated.

“What do you mean? Yes, I do?” I asked.

“What happened last week, Morgan, when I hit you? What happened right before I hit you?” He looked at me, trying to get me to remember.

“You got mad at me because I didn’t want to give Nicholas his way.”

“No, after that, after I argued with you?”

“You’re going to blame me because you hit me?”

“No, Morgan. That’s not what I am asking you. I am asking you what you said to me right before I hit you. I’m just trying to get you to see the pattern too.”

“I yelled, ‘Fuck you,’ to you.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to be part of the exercise,” Deidra explained. “That’s probably not the best thing to come back with when you’re dealing with an abusive man.”

“Will you stop calling me that?” Drew asked.

“No. I want you to hear that word. I want you to hate that word and separate yourself from it, avoid it like the plague.”

“You don’t think leaving him is an option, do you, Morgan?”

“No.”

“It is. It’s always an option and there are lots of things you can do to keep him away from you, however, I know that’s not what you want. What would it take for you to leave him? What would be that last straw, the breaking point? Look at me, Morgan,” Deidra ordered when I turned to Drew.

“He came pretty close last week. He did it in front of my son. I’m not going to let him grow up that way.” I didn’t look at Drew. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see the realization in his eyes of me taking Nicholas and leaving him.

I didn’t like this part of therapy. It hurt too much and made me think about things I didn’t want to think about. I wanted to go back to our life stories. This part was tougher than I’d anticipated. I really don’t know what I expected, but hearing it put so bluntly made it real. Drew was abusive, and I enabled him. I let him have control. I handed it over to him like it was my duty. I fed fuel to his fire by permission.

My safe word was Nicholas. Whenever I felt threatened or afraid of Drew that was the safe word I picked. Deidra told me to use something comforting to Drew, something that he loved or cherished. There were only two things I could think of that he prized. One was me and one was Nicky. I didn’t want to choose my name, not when I was the one about to receive his wrath. Nicholas was the safer choice. He loved him so much and would never hurt him.

Chapter 34

Jumping from my distant thoughts, Drew wrapped his arms around me. “You okay?”

“Yes. You scared me.” I leaned into him.

“What are you thinking about?” Drew asked, turning me away from the window to look at him.

“Nothing, really,” I lied. I couldn’t tell him what I was thinking about. I knew he thought I was staring out the window, reflecting on our appointment with Deidra. I guess I was doing that too, but what I was really thinking about was Alicia. I wanted to know how things went with our little accomplice. Did he agree? Did we offer enough money? Maybe he called the cops and had her arrested. Maybe she was in jail for extortion or something. No. No. Stop it, Morgan. She’s not in jail. Celeste would have called Drew.

“Morgan, we’re going to be okay. I promise,” Drew said, pulling me tight to his chest and kissing the top of my head.

“I believe that,” I offered. I did believe that.  I couldn’t imagine not having Drew in my life. Drew and I stood in front of the window, kissing, losing ourselves in each other’s touch. Drew felt too right to be wrong. I did belong with him, and we would conquer this tempest. I knew we would. We had to.

“You’ve got a birthday in two days. I’m going to give you the best year of your life,” Drew promised. I didn’t believe that. I believed that we would be okay, our okay. I wasn’t that naive. I could have easily told him I’d heard it all before. I wanted to believe him. I couldn’t, and I didn’t believe the empty promise. He’d hit me again. I was sure of it. Eventually he’d change, over time, but I was sure it wasn’t going to be in a year. It took him a lot longer than a year to get this way, I was sure it was going to take longer to weaken the monster inside him.

“Do you think spanking you is abuse?” Drew whispered hot kisses to my neck and chest.

“God, no, and stop saying that word. I hate it.”

“Does that mean I can lay you over my lap and paint your ass with my hand print?”

“That means I want you to do that.” I moaned, slanting my head, allowing better access to my neck.

“What do you want?”

“What do you mean? I just told you what I wanted.”

“No, I mean, what do you want. Tell me what you want me to do. I don’t want to control you.”

“Drew, you can control me in bed. I love that about you.”

“How do you know? You’ve never told me what you like. Tell me what you like and what you don’t like, besides the prod. I know you hate that thing.” He smiled, pulling me to the bed with him.

“Actually, I don’t hate that anymore. I hated it when you used it on me and didn’t let me come. That was torture. Now it just intensifies it when I do come.”

“You like it?” Drew asked, hopeful.

“Yes. I know, I’m as screwed up as you are.”

“And I made you that way.”

“You didn’t, Drew. I think Deidra is right. That started way before you.”

“But things could have been so much different. I could have made things better for you.”

“But you didn’t, and that is in the past. We’re done with that. Remember what Deidra said? We’ve hashed all that out. Everything’s on the table. Now it’s time to leave it there and move forward. Let’s make them better now, Drew. You can’t keep staring at that door. It’s closed now. You’re never going to see the door that’s been opened for us if you keep staring at the closed one. Can we stop being serious for a little bit?” I asked, ruffling Drew’s hair.

“Yes, you were about to tell me what you like that I do.”

“I’m too embarrassed to tell you that.”

“What?”

“You’ll think I’m a pervert or something,” I confessed.

Drew flipped me over, towering over me on the bed. “I already think that. Tell me.”

“It’s something that drives me crazy.”

“Does it make you wet?” Drew teased, running his hand up my bare leg and underneath my nightgown.

“What do you think?” I asked, cocking my leg for him.

“Tell me,” Drew rasped, massaging my liquids through my slit, right to my aching clitoris.

“I love to watch you stroke yourself,” I confessed. It was probably one of many things that turned me on about Drew.

“Take your clothes off,” Drew ordered, standing. He removed his dress shirt and slacks, taking his already erect cock in his hands.

Coming back to me at the foot of the bed, Drew positioned himself between my legs, stroking long drawn out strokes up and down his shaft.

HOLY DELIRIOUS VAGINA!

This was hot. This was so fucking hot. I couldn’t take it. Drew stroked himself between my legs, letting the head of his cock rub with just the right amount of friction. I was going to come. That quick, I was going to come.

I knew I was ready, I didn’t know Drew was. As soon as I called out, grasping the covers in two fists, I opened my eyes, feeling his warm liquids merge with my quivering sex. Watching Drew spew out, massaging his come into my slit, up and down, was electrifying, sensational.

“Damn it, Morgan. I didn’t want to do that,” he complained, sliding inside of me. I didn’t want him to do that yet either. Feeling him easily slide in me left me wanting more.  “Give me a little bit, and I will make it up to you.”

Drew did that too. I snuggled close in his arms and we watched reality television. I heard Drew snicker a couple times but was too preoccupied to pay attention to the dumb show. I wanted to call Alicia. It was driving me crazy to no end. Drew helped with that once he was able to perform again. I helped with his ability by lying across is lap and letting him spank me while he continued to watch television. By the time he finally finished, I was going crazy wanting him inside me.

“Come up here and sit on my cock,” he prompted.

Gladly.

Drew held my hips, watching his hardness disappear inside me. I was doing just fine until he made me go faster. That was it. I was falling. Of course Drew didn’t let it be that easy. He flipped over, positioned my hips where he wanted them with just a slight elevation and inserted two very deep fingers.

“Drew, no, don’t do that,” I begged, feeling the gentle pressure on my G-spot. I hated when he did that. He shushed me, continuing to do what he wanted to do.

“Drew—hmmm, fuck,” I moaned, feeling the inevitable.

“Yes, baby, come for me,” he mumbled, adding friction to my already overzealous clit. That was it. I was spent, releasing warm come to his hand which he massaged back right to my pucker before entering. I came again with Drew in my ass and his fingers dancing on my nub.

“You’re sleeping in the wet spot,” I threatened, dropping to the bed in a pant with Drew, dropping with me.

“I don’t mind. I love it when you wet the bed.”

“Oh, my god, stop it, you can’t talk about it.”

Drew laughed, kissing the back of my shoulder. “I love it.”

***

“Promise me you’re going to be back here by seven,” Drew requested. What the hell? Deidra said he wasn’t supposed to do that.

“I should be,” I retorted, annoyed. Did he think just because he made the time clear up to seven, I was going to be okay with it? It was normally five. I knew his thought process; he was giving me enough time. It was only four thirty.

“No, not should be. I need you back here by seven. We have someone coming for dinner tonight. Make sure you’re home.”

I breathed a deep breath. I hated entertaining his rich clients, especially the women that thought they were holier than thou. “Okay, take care of my little man; I’ll see you after bit.”

“Marta is taking him for a walk.”

“Don’t you think it’s too hot for that?” I asked. I didn’t want her to take him for a walk. I liked doing that in the evenings or early mornings. That was our thing. Oh, lord. I had PMS. I didn’t care that Marta took him for a walk. “Never mind, it’s fine. I’ll see you later.”

***

“That has literally been the longest ten years of my life,” I complained, meeting Alicia at the entrance of the library. It really did feel like ten years.

“Mine too,” she agreed, nodding towards a bench in the somewhat shade. “Celeste is suspicious. She would kill me if she knew what you were up to and I was helping you. I still think this is a bad idea, and you should let it go.”

“Don’t tell Celeste anything, I already know what you think, and… Tell me already,” I pleaded. I couldn’t take it a second longer.

“He’ll do it.”

“He’ll do it?” I exclaimed. Adrenaline instantly pumped through my veins. I didn’t know whether to be happy or disappointed. My mystery novels suddenly became real. “What did he say? What did you say? How much? Is he agreeing to the makeover?”

“Geesh, Morgan, breathe. I propositioned him with five grand, he came back with ten.”

“Is that a lot? How much do you pay people to do something like this?”

“I don’t know, but I agreed to the ten. Guess how much I got for the necklace?”

“More than ten I hope.”

“Twenty three thousand, what do you want me to do with the rest?”

“Keep it. I can’t take it home.”

“And you think I can just take thirteen thousand dollars home?”

“True. Okay, we’ll donate it or something. What’s the plan?”

“You’re going to need Drew’s driver’s license and his social security number. I gave Clay a picture of Drew from Vincent’s birthday party. He’s going to get his hair cut the same. We have to meet him in an hour to buy a suit. I didn’t want him going in there in some cheap, ugly suit. You know the respect thing,” Alicia added.

I grinned, thinking about Celeste, preaching that. Drew thought like that too. You had to dress the part you played. It made sense though. If this guy went in there with jeans, he’d be questioned for sure. “Clay?”

“Yeah, that’s his name. I didn’t ask a last name. I figured it was best for all parties involved not to know.”

“Yeah, but remember Mark Fortune? That backfired on him.”

“Morgan, this isn’t The Gray Train. This is real life. We could send this guy to jail.”

Reasoning wasn’t part of my ability at the time. I was too close to turn back now. There was something in that box that Drew didn’t want me to know about and I was going to find out.

We ate lunch and then met Clay at Paris Graham. That was the only place I knew of to buy men’s suits. I loved going in there with Drew and watching him be fitted for one. I wasn’t worried a bit when Clay called Alicia, telling her he was running late and couldn’t make it until six. I kind of wanted to defy Drew. I already knew what I was going to say if he did get touchy. Call it a test. My birthday was in one day and I would remind him of his words the night before.

“Morgan, we have to go. We have to be at your house for dinner.”

“They don’t need us and you know it. We’re just going to sit there and roll our eyes at each other. They can make a business deal without us there. We have to do this now. I may not be able to get out of the house again until next week.”

“Then you go home. I will stay and take care of Clay.”

“Alicia. What is your problem? If you need to go, go.”

“I am not leaving you here. Drew and Celeste both would kill me.”

By the time Clay finally got there, Alicia was really pissing me off. I knew what she was worried about, why she was so insistent on getting me home. It was none of her business. If Drew hit me, it was on him, not her. She didn’t come out and say that’s what she was all worried about, I could just tell. She needed to mind her own business.

Yup, definitely PMS.

This was so going to work. Clay wasn’t an exact replica, but I’ve seen Drew’s license. He could pass for sure.

“Yes, we’re on our way,” Alicia lied to Celeste. We weren’t leaving until I saw that Clay could pass as Drew. I ignored Drew’s call, responding with a text that we’d be there soon.

“That’s it,” I decided after the third suit.

“Great. Let’s go!” Alicia insisted, essentially dragging me out of there.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Drew yelled in a whisper when I decided I should probably answer. His quiet tone told me that our company had arrived.

“Sorry, we lost track of time. We’re on our way now.”

“I can’t believe you did this, Morgan,” Drew accused. I smiled. He was pissed. What the hell? I almost felt relieved that he was angry, like he’d gone too long without being the Drew I was used to, like I needed him to. Deidra was right. I did need the drama. I felt rejected without it.

“Celeste is going to be so pissed at me. Look how we’re dressed? This is entirely your fault. What is our story? Why are we so late?” she pressed in an angry tone.

“We’re sticking with our original story. We were at the art museum and lost track of time, stop being so dramatic. Jesus, Alicia. What is your deal?” This wasn’t PMS. Alicia was pissing me off. She was a nervous wreck. What the hell?

I figured out real fast. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fucking hell. “Alicia?” I questioned, seeing the cars.

“Drew did this. This is supposed to be your surprise birthday party. I am so dead.”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“It was a surprise. Both Celeste and Drew forbade me to say one word. I didn’t know you were going to make us this late.”

“Shit, Alicia,” I blurted, seeing my husband waiting outside for me. He was beyond pissed.

“One time, Morgan. Just once, I spend months doing everything I can to put this together and you do this. Was the art more important?”

“Drew, I had no idea. How could I know?”

“Come on. You have a whole house full of people, waiting for you to appear at your party.

Drew led me to the formal dining room by my elbow. Thank god, I had worn decent clothing and was having a good hair day. That’s what I was thinking as we walked towards my surprise party.

My heart sank when I opened the door. Speechless, I looked to Drew, sporting a genuine smile. My mother reached for me with one arm while the other one hung over…Oh, my god. I couldn’t believe it.

“Justin?” I cried. This wasn’t real. My baby brother, it was him, it was truly him.

“You look just like I remember you,” he spoke with a deep man voice. He was so handsome. How did this happen? Drew did this? Justin wrapped his arms around me and I held him so tight and cried. I cried uncontrollably. My little Justin was here in my house. I think I cried for ten minutes before I could catch my breath and let him go.

“Are you kidding me?!?” I yelled when I let him go, catching Rebecca out of the corner of my eye.

Running to her, we embraced. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” she confessed. “But, seriously, we need to talk. You and Drew are together? I didn’t know what to think when he showed up at my house, begging me to come here.”

I held her hand, smiling at my mom covering her mouth, trying to keep it together. She was happy. I was happy, Justin was happy, and Drew was happy. He wasn’t wearing an angry look anymore. He really outdid himself, and I ruined it for him.

I’m not sure I have ever had a happier day in my entire life. No, I was sure that I hadn’t. Nicky absolutely loved his uncle Justin. I loved Justin’s mother and father, and for the first time since he was taken from me, I was happy that they had adopted him. They loved him so much and it showed. I think my mother was even happy about how things had turned out.

I spent a considerate amount of time explaining everything to Rebecca. She couldn’t believe that I was there with Drew and we had a baby together. She showed me pictures of her little girl. She was adorable and named after me. I loved her and couldn’t wait to meet her.

I talked, laughed, and cried with my little brother. He was quite the athlete, played the drums in his high school marching band. He wanted to be an architect and either design modern skyscrapers or super structure bridges. I told him he could do both.

Chapter 35

“I cannot believe you did this,” I said, finally getting my husband alone. What a long day, one that I will never forget.

“Are you happy,” Drew asked, closing our bedroom door and pulling me close.

“I am so happy, but I ruined it for you. I was too busy trying to defy your allotted time for me to be home.”

“You were purposely trying to defy me?”

“Sort of,” I confessed, pulling away from him.

“Don’t,” Drew ordered, taking my pack of pills from my hand. I didn’t want to fight over having a baby. I let him put them back in the medicine cabinet, thinking I’d just take one before I fell asleep. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you want to defy me?”

Turning to him, I smiled a defeated, weak smile. I couldn’t say it out loud. I couldn’t admit that I needed him to be an ass. I didn’t want him to. I needed him to. I was saving that one for Deidra.

“Because I didn’t like you giving me a time to be home,” I lied. I didn’t mind that at all. I would have been home long before had Clay been on time.

“I’m sorry. I have been trying not to do that. I just really needed you home tonight.”

“I can’t believe you did this. You went to Rebecca? How did you convince Justin’s parents to bring him here?”

“Actually, Justin was the easy one. He wanted to see you too, and he’s got some pretty awesome parents.”

“He does, doesn’t he?”

“Rebecca was the one that gave me fits. I thought she was going to shoot me at her door.”

“You went to her house?”

“Yes, and she called the cops on me. Luckily, I had her calmed down before they got there, and she told them it was misunderstanding.”

I could see Rebecca doing that. I was sure she hated Drew more than anyone on earth. I didn’t see that changing, but a lot of strange things happened to me that I would have never predicted.

Drew kissed me with a long, deep, passionate kiss that brought out emotions in us both, the fucked up kind that nobody could understand but him or me.

“I need to punish you,” he begged in a desperate tone to my lips.

YES!

I knew Drew wasn’t asking for an erotic ass spanking over his lap. He needed more than that. Call it what you will, but I needed that too. It’s what we did, it’s what we were together, and I don’t expect anyone to understand it. I didn’t understand it myself so there was no way I could explain it.

Okay, maybe I didn’t need that. The first lash from his leather belt caused me to scream. It hurt. It hurt like hell and my ass was suddenly on fire. “Shhh,” he quieted me, rubbing my ass with the palm of his hand. I needed to lie down. I needed to be across the bed where I could stuff the covers in my mouth and hold them tight in my fisted hands. Drew wouldn’t let me. I had to hold on to the foot of the bed, legs spread while I took five thrashings, leaving welts for sure. I could already feel them.

After a long drawn out, screwed up as hell foreplay period, Drew used the electrical current on my clit, sending me to instant orgasm, almost. It wasn’t until he fucked me in the ass, reaching around to my clit that he finally let me come.

“You have no idea how much I love you,” Drew panted, hot breaths to my back. I loved him too. I loved him more than I could comprehend myself.

“I’m still not getting pregnant yet,” I exhaustedly assured him.

“We’ll see.”

I smiled at his response and fell asleep happy with Drew’s hand covering my still burning ass.

***

I should have called off the whole operation. Things were going great. I couldn’t have been happier had my life depended on it.  Our last session with Deidra was even good. We laughed and joked about silly things Nicholas was learning, and she talked to us more about our cycle. We were breaking it, Drew was breaking it, and together we were doing it.

I spent the morning sitting on Drew’s lap, creating a Facebook account. I wanted to keep up with Justin’s sports, talk to him, and send him messages whenever I wanted. That was a big step for Drew. I was sure I would still have to let him see who I was talking to, but I didn’t mind that. I would talk to Alicia, Justin, my mom, and Caroline. Even Rebecca, I couldn’t wait to see the pictures of her daughter and watch her grow up. Caroline was so excited that I finally got a Facebook account.

“Oh, Starlight!” I exclaimed, placing my fingers on the home row. I knew she had a profile. I’d seen her on it talking to her daughter and sister.

Drew placed his hands over mine stopping me. I looked over my shoulder, knowing what he was going to say.

“Do you have to do that?”

“You don’t like Starlight?”

“I like her just fine. I’m just not sure I want you associating with your old life in Maine anymore.”

“I spent the whole day with Starlight the last time she was here. You didn’t mind it then?”

“I did mind. That was hard for me, and that was here not Maine. Go ahead,” he offered, trying not to be that man. I smiled and stopped. Baby steps. Drew knew that once I added Starlight, I would see the post from Dawson and Lauren. That was the two that he really didn’t want me connecting with. I would leave it at that, for now.

Celeste ran me out of the office in the early afternoon, wanting to work. I didn’t mind. Nicholas was getting fussy, ready for a nap anyway.

“Have you talked to Alicia?” I asked, standing with Nicholas. I wanted to know what was going on. I couldn’t wait much longer.

“Yeah, she was taking Vincent to the dentist. Why?” Celeste asked suspicious.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that,” I said, leaving them to their work. I couldn’t look at Celeste and keep a straight face.

I spent the whole day, worrying about what happened. Did it work? Did Clay get in? Did he get caught? Was he in jail? No. He couldn’t have gotten caught. It was nearly seven thirty. The bank would have called Drew. He had whatever was in the deposit box. What was in it? What if it was money and he took it and ran? No, he didn’t do that either. Drew wouldn’t hide money there anyway.

I jumped, startled when Drew spoke, coming into Nicholas’s room with me. I’d been jumpy all day. I needed it to be Friday. I needed to put this behind me and stop playing detective. Once I figured out what and why Drew was hiding from me, I would.

“Morgan?” Drew called.

“Jesus, you scared me. Don’t do that.”

“You’ve been jumpy all day,” he noticed. “Hey, did I have to show identification the other night at the restaurant?”

Crap.

“I’m not sure. I didn’t really pay attention. Why?” I asked, lying. I turned my attention to Nicholas, hiding the guilt. I didn’t think he’d notice it that soon. Drew had a migraine that night and was asleep by nine. I was in bed with him, thanking god for his pounding head. Getting his license from his wallet was easy. It was the social security number I had to snoop for.

I waited for his relaxed deep breathing before breaking into his office. The whole thing reminded me of planning my escape, breaking in there to transfer funds from his accounts. I logged on to his desktop, needing to keep an eye on him. Drew slept with his arm over his eyes and I searched through files, folders, and drawers. Nothing I found had his social on it. Why would it. Damn it. Now what was I supposed to do? I was just about ready to give up when I saw the folder with the tab, reading 2013 taxes. Yes! Pulling off a little yellow sticky note, I quickly jotted down the number and got the hell out of there just in time for Nicholas to wake crying.

“I don’t remember showing it. They know me there. That’s so weird. Where else would I have used it?” Drew questioned himself more than me.

“I don’t know. Look at him, Drew,” I derailed the conversation that I couldn’t have without a shamed expression. Drew placed his wallet back to his back pocket and picked up the block, helping Nicholas put the round piece into the round hole rather than the square one he was trying to fit it into. He was so smart. He had the right concept, just not the right block.

Drew never mentioned his license again, not to me anyway. I would get it back the next day and hide it behind one of the many cards in his wallet. He’d think he just misplaced it, I hoped.

I wished I didn’t have such a meddling husband. I wanted to text Alicia and ask her if she had it, what did it look like, was it in an envelope, a box? UGH. I was never going to sleep. Why didn’t I tell her I’d be over for breakfast instead of lunch?

Drew and I played with Nicky on his bedroom floor until he conked out between Drew and me on the plush gray carpet. Drew picked him up, changed him and kissed his sleeping little head.

“What’s wrong?” Drew asked, dropping to his knees and lying beside me again.

“Nothing, why do you think something is wrong?”

“You’re just in another time. What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing really.”

“Talk to me, Morgan. Please.”

Great, now he thought I was upset over us. I wasn’t. I was so in love with us and our little family. “Nothing is wrong. I promise. I’m just feeling a little tired tonight, that’s all.”

“Okay, but I don’t know if I believe you,” Drew said running his hand up my shirt and around my stomach.

“Come on, let’s go to bed.”

Standing, I pulled Drew up by his hands, kissed him and led him to our room.

“Drew, stop. I’m on my period,” I had to say, moving his hands from my ass.

“So, we don’t need that.”

“Can we just go to sleep tonight? Please,” I begged, rolling away from him, snuggling up to his chest, not waiting for a reply.

“I don’t want you to take anymore pills when you’re done.”

Nope. Not going there. “Night, Drew.”

***

I was a nervous wreck all morning. I needed to get away from Drew. Where the hell was Celeste? Of all days for Drew to start work later, it had to be that day. Any other day I would have loved it, just not this day.

“I’m going to Alicia’s now,” I stated, rather than asking.

Drew looked up from the puppy book he was reading to Nicky, puzzled. “Aren’t you going to wait until I go to work? It’s not lunch time. Why do you need to go now?”

“I don’t need to, Drew. I want to.” I should have just waited. I hadn’t planned on this turning into a big argument.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Stop doing that, Morgan,” Drew warned, set Nicky on the floor and came to me. “Let me see your phone.”

“Oh, my god, Drew. There’s nothing in my phone. I just want to go hang out with Alicia.”

“Because you don’t like the company here? Give me your phone.”

Slamming my phone to his hand, I glared at him.

“You need to stop.” Drew smirked. “What does this mean? This last message. The eagle has landed? What is that?”

“I don’t know. It’s Alicia. She is probably trying to tell me that Celeste is on her way over and I can come now.”

“Why couldn’t you go before Celeste left?”

“Because I have a ridiculous husband that tells me what I can do. I would have left already if I was allowed,” I smartly replied, forming quotation marks in the air.

“Should I take Nicholas? Marta asked, placing the tray with two cups of coffee on the table. Nicky instantly saw them and went after them. Marta scooped him up and blew raspberries on his belly, causing him to giggle and squirm.

I said no. Drew said yes at the exact same time. “I’m taking him with me,” I assured Drew. Marta didn’t wait for permission. She could feel the tension. Anybody could have felt the tension, it was thick.

“You’re not taking Nicholas. I thought you were going out to lunch. What are you really up to?”

“I am taking Nicholas, we are going to hang around the pool for a while, and then Jackie is going to keep the kids while we go have lunch.”

“No, she’s not. Nicholas can stay right here with me and Marta, and you can leave when I tell you, you can leave.”

“Great, Drew. That’s just great. This is it, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean this is my life. You’re always going to be a controlling idiot, and I just wasted a ton of MY money on Deidra. You’re never going to change, and you know what, Drew? I’m not sure I want to stick around and wait for it not to happen. I’m tired of hoping for an outcome that is so obviously doomed to fail.”

“What does that even mean, Morgan? You’re planning on leaving me? Because I assure you if that is what you’re saying, you’re sadly mistaken. And if you insist on that, you will never see your child again. You got that, Morgan? You will never see Nicholas again. You’re not going anywhere,” Drew vehemently spoke right in my face.

I didn’t even think. It just happened. “Fuck you,” I spit. Literally. I spit right in his eye and then grabbed my own eye when the back of his hand came in contact. I might have deserved that one a little.

“Morgan, I’m sorry,” Drew instantly responded, pulling me to him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. Go to Alicia’s for a while. I’m sorry.”

I wasn’t sure I could go to Alicia’s anymore. Not because of my eye, that didn’t hurt. Something else happened. I’m not sure what it was. I just felt something when Drew hit me, something abnormal. I’m not sure what it was but something just didn’t feel right. I brushed past Drew, grabbed my purse, and tried to keep my eyes focused. The room was a blur and I probably shouldn’t have driven.

Sitting in the car, I looked in the mirror at the puffiness already forming. Shit. Alicia was going to give me her lecture about it, we’d end up arguing, and I would tell her to mind her own business. What the hell was going on? Why was my vision suddenly blurry?

I was okay after a few minutes and drove the short drive over to Alicia’s. Waving at Celeste as we crossed paths, I pulled into the circled drive. I should call Drew. He was probably beside himself. No. No. I wasn’t calling Drew. This was his fault. All I did was tell him I wanted to leave. Well, that spit in his face. Okay, it was a little bit my fault.

Chapter 36

“Hey, I can’t stay. Do you have it?” I asked, looking down at the new tiled floor in the foyer—not because of my new shiner. It was more; I was trying to keep my balance from the blurred room again. I should call Dr. Tharp. Something didn’t feel right.

“What do you mean? I thought we were doing lunch? Where are you going?”

“I’m just not very hungry.”

“Morgan? What the hell? Drew hit you again, didn’t he?” Alicia asked, lifting my chin. Whoa, that was a quick movement. I needed to sit down.

“Don’t, Alicia. Do you have it or not? I’m in a hurry.”

“Hurry for what? What the hell’s going on, Morgan?”

“Nothing. We had a fight. I just want what you have.”

“Are you okay? You look funny?”

“Funny? You mean because I have a blossoming black eye? Give me the damned box or whatever it is. It’s none of your business.”

“Yeah, okay, Morgan. You’re right. It’s none of my business,” Alicia reluctantly agreed, turning away from me. I sat on the bench beside the door. I had to, something wasn’t right.

Looking up, I stood, took the brown taped up envelope, and smiled. “I’m sorry, I’ll call you later,” I apologetically said.

“I’m worried about you. Open it here.”

“No, I’m fine. I promise. I’ll call you later.”

I took my prize, turned on my heels, and got the hell out of there. Sitting in my car, I looked over to the envelope. What was it? I didn’t find out right away. I wanted to get out of there, go somewhere alone. Where was that? Where could I go that I could see what I’d anticipated seeing for months? I couldn’t go where there were people. What if it was something that was going to cause a reaction?

I drove the way Drew wouldn’t want me to go, feeling nauseated. I wasn’t sure if I was feeling sick because something was wrong or if it was nerves. Hoping it was just nerves I shook it off, focusing on the two yellow lines running down the middle of the road while I rubbed the sharp pain in the side of my head with the tips of my fingers. I was going to call Dr. Tharp as soon as I laid this to rest.

I didn’t drive far when the curiosity got the better of me, that and I was having a little bit of double vision. I needed to pull over. I parked in a parking lot of some factory. Employees sat around picnic tables, smoking cigarettes and eating lunch.

I knew, feeling around the envelope that there was another key. Great. If I had to do this again, I’d surely lose my mind. Pulling off the copious amount of tape, I wondered why so much. It wasn’t like someone couldn’t just tear the paper. I blinked trying to clear the focus in my eyes. I blinked again trying to rid the dots and blurriness. I carefully opened the trifold letter with a Desert Springs Hospital header. That was strange. Why would Drew get a bank security box for that? What was it?

Unfolding the sticky note wrapped around the key, I read it first: Downtown store, safe in utility closet.

What did that mean? There was something else at the store downtown? Why wouldn’t he just put it at the bank with this hospital letter?

I screamed, jumping clear out of my skin when someone tapped on my window.

“You can’t park here. We have trucks coming in,” the burley looking man explained.

I started my car and nodded, letting him know that I was leaving.

Hell, I’d already come this far, I may as well go to the strip store and finish it. Drew was probably going to kill me anyway.

I jumped clear out of my seat again when my phone rang. I didn’t answer Drew. I couldn’t. I would lose my nerve if I did. Instead, I turned my phone off, not wanting him to be able to track me, pulled out, and headed to the jewelry store on the strip.

“Hello, Mrs. Kelley. What brings you in today?” one of the well-dressed men asked when I entered. My head hurt and I fought hard to feign a happy smile. It wasn’t a normal headache. The pain was more of a burning sensation right behind my eye.

“Hello, Norman. How are you?” I smiled. He bowed, returning the smile as I made my way back to the office, feigning smiles as I passed the staff in their extravagant work attire.

“Mrs. Kelley, pleasure to see you.” Johnathan stood from behind the desk.

“Hello, Johnathan. Do you have the key to the closet here? I just need to pick something up for Drew.”

“Um, Drew didn’t call. What is it?”

“I’m not sure that is your business. No. I know that it’s not.”

“I should call Drew.”

“You should give me the key. You technically work for me, not my husband. If you’d like to continue your employment with Callaway Jewels, you should probably do as I say,” I threatened.

“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded and handed me the key from the top drawer, leaving me alone.

Closing the door, I blinked again. I’m not sure why I kept doing that. It was doing nothing to help my vision. Opening the door to the supply closet, I looked around, spotting the safe in the back of the closest. I inserted the key, gratefully it opened. A small size box with an envelope was all that was there. I retrieved the items and thanked Johnathon on my way out.

I didn’t even remember driving to the cemetery. I sat, parked in the center of the cemetery, trying to recall the direction to Michael’s gravesite. My head was on fire, my vision was blurred, and now I felt like my balance was off. “What the hell am I doing?” I asked myself, walking in the direction I thought was right.

I sat between Michael and Drew’s mother, more out of need than anything. I was going to fall if I didn’t sit down.

I opened the legal envelope first. A handwritten letter? This wasn’t Drew’s writing. If this was some love sick letter from Skyler, I may end up in prison for murder.

Andrew,

Know that I love you, son. I know that when a mother has a child her goal in life is to nurture, protect, and care for that child. I didn’t do that with you. I’m not sure that I ever knew how, Andrew.

“Oh, my god. This is a letter to Drew from his mother,” I said out loud, blinking again. I shouldn’t be reading this. This was personal.

I know that you think I left this world because I couldn’t live without Michael. That wasn’t the case. I did love Michael in my own way, I guess, but it was all for you. I’m sick, Drew. I’ve been sick for a very long time. I don’t want you spending your life, taking care of a mentally ill mother. You deserve better. I knew Michael would leave you everything. You deserve everything. There is something else that I need for you to know about me, something that shames me too much to live with for one more day.

I knew, Andrew, I knew. What kind of mother does that make me? It makes me the kind of mother that doesn’t deserve to breathe. I should have done something. I should have run away with you.. I knew what he was forcing you to do, Andrew. I knew, and I didn’t stop it. Why didn’t I stop it? I have no excuse for that. I let Michael brainwash me. The first time I found the photos, Michael laughed and told me he was teaching you how to be a man, and do what needed to be done to get what you wanted.

I didn’t understand that. He was hurting you. I saw it with my own eyes. I believed him when he told me that you liked it, and that he would never hurt you. He told me that he was teaching you everything you needed to know to takeover once the time came. I knew it was wrong, Andrew. I knew it and I let it happen. You were just a small boy, and the hollow look in your eyes in the photos that I saw, I knew it was wrong and should have been enough to die for you. I’m dying for you now son. I’m dying because I want you to live. I’m dying because you deserve that. Michael is dying because you deserve to live.

“Uh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

He was going to die anyway, right? I only helped him. I knew there would be no autopsy, and if there was, I’d be gone too. The man had cancer, he was sick, and was a very easy target. Had he not been such an ass and let the doctors and nurses do their job, he may have conquered the cancer. He got sicker and sicker because of me and because of an episode of Law and Order. Ethylene glycol, poisoning. It’s a toxic, colorless, odorless, almost nonvolatile liquid with a sweet taste, known to be lethal to humans.

It was easy to stir in a teaspoon into his hot tea, here and there. It was easy to keep the contents of the antifreeze hidden in a shampoo bottle. Thirty two ounces, Andrew. That’s what it took. I should have felt bad, watching him vomit green bile. I never felt bad, not once did I feel bad witnessing Michael convulse, vomit, and be so weak that, he couldn’t hold his head up. I remember laughing hysterically the first time he soiled his pants. The nurse made me leave, I was laughing so hard.

He’s never going to hurt you again, Andrew. I am never going to hurt you again.

Oh, my god. Drew’s mom killed Michael. She killed him and herself for Drew. What photos? What did that mean? I needed to see for myself. I didn’t want Drew seeing something that was going to set us back further than we already were. I had a pretty good hunch as to what it was, but I needed to see. I’d destroy them myself

I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry for the life I let you live, and I am sorry for not protecting you. Be happy son, live life in love. You have more than enough money to walk away and enjoy it. Don’t get consumed the way the Callaways did. There’s more to life than money, and I am sorry for not finding this out before I sacrificed us both. Once you have seen the horrific evidence of why you deserve everything you have, destroy it, and never look back.

I love you, Andrew, don’t hurt for me. I’m okay now.

Until we meet again…..

Mom.

You’re okay, Morgan. Get this over with, put it behind you, and move on. I pep talked myself. Opening the box, I removed a pink, satin hanky. It still had a lingering perfume smell.

I didn’t even gasp at the surprise. It was exactly what I thought it was. Drew was so little, and I could see the hollow look that his mother spoke of.

“Excuse me,” I spoke to a young boy, consoling a crying girl. He had a cigarette between his lips. I knew he had matches. “Do you have a light?”

“Keep it,” he said, tossing me a bright yellow lighter, walking his crying girl away.

I flipped through the photos of Drew growing up, abused. The first picture I set on fire above Michael’s grave, it was Drew bent over the same desk that I’d been bent over many times. His small butt bore bright red lines.

“This is for you, fuck face,” I audibly spoke, dropping the burning photo to the grave. One by one, I watched the photos of a lost little boy burn in flames, all the way through his teenage years. Drew lied. Michael did way more than fondle an innocent boy; these were repulsive pornographic pictures. Not one of the pictures showed Michael’s face, only Drew’s. The pictures only displayed Michael from the waist down.

I was appalled and stopped looking, placing the photos on my self-made fire. I couldn’t stand to look at one more thing my husband endured from this man, horrific things that no child should know about.

Once the last photo was up in flames, I picked up the envelope. This time I did gasp, unfolding the paper with the hospital header. “Paternity Test,” I read out loud. What the hell was this? Did Drew have another child somewhere too? Nicholas Andrew Kelley, I read. That’s when I felt faint. The test results were inconclusive and would need to be retaken.

This didn’t make since. I saw those test. I saw that Drew was 99.9% the father. Why would he have an inconclusive test locked up in a bank? That was a dumb question. He didn’t want me to ever find it. Did Drew pay for a bogus test? No, he wouldn’t do that. Would he? Yes, Drew would do that. I knew he would. But would he do it knowing there was a fifty percent chance of him raising another man’s child?

I was suddenly furious. This was the last straw and I was getting to the bottom of it; the lies, every last one of them were coming out. Oh, my god. What if Nicholas wasn’t Drew’s at all. What if he was Dawson’s? We would never survive that. I was sure of it.

“Hey, you can’t have a fire here,” I heard a male voice say. Looking at the smoldering photos turned to ash, I felt the tears run down my cheek. Wiping it away and feeling the soreness from Drew’s hand, I looked at my fingers, puzzled. I was crying blood? That didn’t make sense. I stood to leave and that was the last thing I remembered.

***

I couldn’t see. Why couldn’t I see? Where was I? I could hear voices. I could see a bright florescent light but something was covering my eyes. Was I in a coma again? Nicholas? Oh my god, where was Nicholas. Did he wreck with me. Wait. Was I in a wreck? What the hell was going on? Why couldn’t I see? How long have I been out? Nicolas wouldn’t know who I was after five weeks again. Who was talking? I had so many questions going through my mind, questions that I wanted answers to. Where was Drew? Where the hell was I? I wondered as I drifted back into darkness.

“Drew,” I croaked the next time I woke or tried to wake. I still couldn’t see and had no idea how long I’d been out.

“I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere,” I heard the music to my ears. Drew took my hand, comforting me with his warm touch.

“What happened, Drew?”

“You’re okay now. You’re going to be just fine.”

“Where is Nicky?”

“He’s with Marta. He’s fine.”

“How long have I been here?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer. I couldn’t handle knowing that I was away from my son for five weeks.

“Around twelve hours.”

Drew explained to me that I’d had a bleed in my brain and had to be rushed into surgery. The doctor said that it had been bleeding for a while and could have gotten worse due to a sudden jar, or even a light bump. We both knew what the jar was, although neither of us would mention it.

I spent three days in total darkness, afraid that once the bandages came off I’d be blind. The doctor assured me that I wouldn’t, but I was still scared. I couldn’t wait until that evening when he removed them. I wanted to see Drew and my baby. Somebody had to bring me my baby.

I slept, resting in total darkness for I’m not sure how long. I was woken up by familiar voices. Who was there? It was Drew, I knew that much, but who was the female. Why was I having such a hard time waking up? Deidra! It was Deidra. She was mad. What was she saying? I squinted my eyes as much as possible, trying to concentrate on the conversation.

“She’s got a black eye,” Deidra observed. I knew she was close to me. She was right beside me. I tried to turn my head when Drew spoke.

“Yes, she has two black eyes. She just had brain surgery,” Drew pointed out.

“Did you hit her, Drew?”

“No. I just told you. She had brain surgery. The doctor said it was expected.”

“Hmm, I get that. I get this and this,” Deidra stated. I wasn’t sure what she was talking about. “You know what I don’t get, Drew? I don’t get this right here. You see this dirty yellow right here? That’s an older bruise, healing. For Christ sake, Drew. You could have killed her.”

Drew? I needed to wake up. Why couldn’t I wake up? Drew was crying. I could hear him sobbing. His face was buried beside me, holding my hand. Drew, it’s going to be okay. Drew? I wasn’t talking, not out loud anyway. Damn it. Wake up, Morgan.

I didn’t wake up, not until, well, I don’t know how long. I didn’t remember anything else that Deidra said to Drew. The last thing I remembered was Drew, crying.

The next time, I woke up—well, I didn’t really wake up, but I could hear voices again. My mom was there with Jason and Justin, my little brother was there too. Why can’t I wake up?

Dr. Tharp removed the bandages around seven that evening. I was never so happy in my life when I saw the fuzzy Drew right beside me, holding my hand. Dr. Tharp explained to Drew and me about the importance of me resting—a lot. He was going to send me home with something the following day that would cause me to sleep several hours a day. That explained why I couldn’t wake up. I didn’t like that idea. I had a one-year-old to chase after.

“Your brain needs to rest, Morgan. I don’t want you watching television, reading, or anything else that will cause you to overthink things. Let’s give you the rest your brain needs, and we’ll see how things look when I see you next week. Okay?”

“Okay,” I agreed.

“I want to see Nicky,” I told Drew once we were alone.

“You can see him when we go home tomorrow,” Drew replied, sitting on the side of the bed and placing my hand in his. “We need to talk, Morgan.”

“I know,” I agreed. He had to know that I knew about the falsified paternity test.

“We need to stop.”

“Stop?” I questioned. Stop what?

“Yes, I want you to take Nicky and go to the beach house.”

“Without you?”

“Yes, I’m never going to lay a finger on you again. I promise.”

“What? You’re leaving me?”

“Don’t look at it that way, Morgan. I’m giving you an easy out. You deserve better than what I’ve given you.”

“Drew, we’re not getting a divorce. I thought you wanted to talk about you paying for a fake paternity test. Why did you do that? How could you do that?” I asked, wanting off the topic that Drew was insisting on rehashing.

“It was only temporary. I couldn’t stand the thought of Nicolas belonging to Dawson. He doesn’t, Morgan. He’s one hundred percent mine.”

“How do you know?”

“I did have the test done but not until Nicky was four months old. I wanted to do it before but whenever the birthmark on his butt cheek like mine went away, I was terrified. I couldn’t fathom him not being mine. I love him so much.”

“I know you do, Drew.”

“Morgan, I love you that much too. That’s why I have to let you go. I don’t want either of you to live with me. You deserve so much more than I can give you.”

“Drew. Stop it. You’re not throwing away our family. We’ll make it. I know we will.”

“Morgan, you have got to be the dumbest girl on earth. I hurt you. I did things to purposely hurt you. I hit you because your father hit my mother.”

“He’s not my father.”

“I did horrible things to you because Michael did them to me,” Drew continued. I didn’t understand what he was saying. He wouldn’t let us walk out of his life like this. I knew he wouldn’t. Would he?

“I read the letter your mother left for you,” I admitted, looking down.

Drew didn’t reply. He looked to his lap, holding my hand and breathed a long breath.

“You never read it, did you?”

“No, not until I took it from your purse.” I didn’t even remember placing it in my purse, well, vaguely, I did. I think it was right after the caretaker told me I couldn’t have a fire.

“I went to the store. I found the photos,” I confessed.

Drew sort of smiled. “And so I underestimated you again.”

“Drew?”

“Hmm?”

“I underestimated you too.”

“What do you mean?”

“I underestimated who you are and who you’ve become.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means you’ve been through a lot and have come out on top. Drew, you’re not a bad person. You’ve just been dealt a bad hand. Please don’t do this.”

“Morgan. I almost killed you.”

“You did not. Dr. Tharp said I have had a bleed for some time. You hitting me probably saved my life.”

“Morgan, you can’t keep making excuses for me. I hit you. I hit you in front of our son. It’s never going to happen again. I promise you. I’m never laying another finger on you again.”

Drew had said this at least 10 times over the past couple years. This time was different. This time, I believed him. I didn’t like the reason I believed him. He was going to leave me. That’s what he was trying to tell me.

“Let’s talk to Deidra about it when we go to our next session.”

“I’ve already talked to Deidra about it. She agrees with me. She thinks we need to be apart. She doesn’t think I will ever be able to not control you.”

“You will. You’re getting better. I can tell,” I begged like a little girl afraid of losing the only thing that ever mattered to me.

Drew stood, held my face between his hands, and kissed me. “I hit you with a fucking brain injury, Morgan. Don’t you get it? I hit you with a brain injury,” he repeated like he was realizing that for the first time.

My mother and Justin came in that afternoon. It was so surreal seeing him like this. I tried my best to talk to them, sound happy, and not think about what Drew had said. Luckily they didn’t stay long. The doctor told them it was time for my meds and I’d be asleep for at least three hours.

“Take care of yourself and get out of here,” Justin smiled, kissing my cheek.

I smiled back. “You know I’m never going to get used to hearing that man’s voice come out of your mouth, don’t you? You’re supposed to be a cute little boy with seven freckles on his nose,” I teased.

“I still have three,” he teased back.

And sleep once again took over my body.

Chapter 37

I hated the first week I was home after that incident. I hardly saw Drew at all. He was avoiding me. He used the excuse of having to work late to avoid coming to bed with me. Drew made sure I took the pills that made me sleep for hours. I slept, ate, played with Nicky, and waited, waited for Drew to get over this and come to me. He wasn’t doing it.

“Drew wanted me to help you pack,” Marta said, coming into Nicholas’s room with us.

“Pack for what?”

“He said you were going to the beach house for a while.”

“I’m not.”

“Drew said the plane was going to be ready at three.”

“Marta, I’m not leaving,” I demanded, standing from the plush carpet.

“Morgan, I think you need to go.”

“You don’t know anything. I don’t pay you to think.”

“I told Drew I would make sure you were on the plane.”

“Watch Nicky,” I ordered, storming past her.

“He’s not here,” Marta called after me.

“Where is he?”

“He had to fly to Chicago.”

“He left?”

“Yes, Morgan. He’s gone. Let’s get you packed. Just go to the beach house and let things cool down. You’ll be better off there, and so will Nicholas.”

“I won’t be better off without Drew,” I fumed. She had no right. Drew had no right. He put her up to this. He couldn’t just give up on us. I wouldn’t let him. I could feel my chest tighten and the tears flow. I couldn’t breathe. Drew was throwing us away.

I didn’t pack one thing. Marta did it all. I lay in a curled ball and cried silent tears across my bed. This was really happening. Drew was really letting me go. After everything he’d done to fight for me, win me, and keep me, he was letting me go.

Marta took Nicholas with her to pack his things, leaving me sobbing for my husband. “You have an hour to get it together before we have to leave.”

I jumped off the bed as soon as the door was closed, grabbed my phone and dialed Drew. He didn’t answer. I knew he wouldn’t. I smashed the oversized phone against the door and screamed.

“DREW! I know you’re watching me! Drew! You’re not fucking doing this to us. You owe me, you son of a bitch. Don’t you fucking do this to me, DREW!” I screamed again before getting angrier. “If you let us get on that plane, you’ll never see either of us again. DO YOU HEAR ME, DREW!” I cried, dropping to my knees. “Drew, please,” I begged a desperate quiet plea.

***

Nicholas stood on my lap, patting the square window with his little hand. He loved flying. He knew when we were getting on the plane. He got so excited when we climbed aboard. I held on to him feeling broken. I didn’t know how I would function without Drew. He planned this whole thing. He was just waiting for my appointment earlier that morning with Dr. Tharp. He waited until he got the all clear before sending me away, sending not only me, his wife, but his son away as well. How could he do this?

I smiled when Nicholas turned and smiled at me, cooing da da da da. He was so innocent. He had no idea what was going on. Hell, I didn’t even know what was going on. That’s when the tears started again. Wiping them quickly away, I took a deep breath. I wasn’t going to be that girl. I wasn’t going to destroy myself over a man. Drew did this. Drew let us go.

I didn’t see my mother that night. I wasn’t in the mood for company. This was a well thought out plan. Drew had the kitchen stocked with food, milk brought in, and even laundry soap. He remembered we needed it from the last time we were there, not that it should surprise me. Drew was the most organized man I knew. He even had a red dump truck sitting on the table for Nicholas. I placed it on the floor hardwood floor for him to play with. I knew Drew was serious when I opened his office door and everything was cleared out.

I tried Drew’s number for the tenth time after putting Nicholas to bed. I’m not going to cry, I’m not going to cry, I chanted over and over, crouched in the corner of the sofa. Why wouldn’t he answer his phone? Was he seriously just going to let us go like this? Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected this from him.

Mentally exhausted, sleep finally took over around eleven at night. I didn’t go to our room, not wanting to sleep in our bed without Drew. I stayed on the sofa, covered with a quilt my mother had made for me when Drew bought me the house.

Waking to the sound of an angry storm, I went to Nicholas.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I soothed, picking him up.

I stood in front of the glass doors, swaying him back and forth while watching the massive waves, lap the beach, lightening that looked like it was touching the ocean, and wind and rain beat off the glass doors in front of us. I knew how it felt. I felt like that. If I could produce that much wrath, I’d do it too.

I did cry the next day. Jason took Nicholas and Caroline for a walk along the beach and I cried, soaking my mother’s pink top into a red one.

“How can he just throw us away like this?” I cried.

“He’s not throwing you away, honey. He’s trying to protect you.”

“You talked to him?” Oh, my god. Everyone knew he was doing this. I wondered if Alicia knew, and I made a mental note to call her as soon as I was alone.

“Yes, he called. He wanted to make sure I would take care of you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Maybe, but I’m still your mom. It’s my job to take care of you.”

“Humph,” I let it slip, rolling my eyes. I didn’t mean to, but hearing those words from my mother was still foreign to me. She never took care of me, not like she does Caroline. “I’m sorry,” I instantly said.

“I deserved that.”

“No, you didn’t. You’re no different than Drew. You had me when you were sixteen. You did what you knew to do, what everyone else around that god forsaken town did. I’m just happy that you’re here now,” I tried making up for my stupidity.

I was glad my mother was there, and I was glad that she had Jason and Caroline.

I spent three weeks without one word from Drew. I was getting pissed. It is one thing to toss me out, but Nicholas didn’t deserve this. He was probably wondering where his daddy was. How long did it take a one-year-old to forget? Was he already starting to forget him? How long does it take a grown woman to forget?

Alicia was never any help. Celeste doesn’t talk about it, that’s the answer I always got, not that I didn’t find it to be the truth. I knew Celeste minded her own business, and I was sure Drew wasn’t telling her anything. I needed a plan. There had to be something that would get him to call me.

I started with the credit card, spending nine thousand dollars on anything and everything I could think of to buy online in a one week. When that didn’t work, I bought a twenty five thousand dollar ring. That would surely do it. Drew would be pissed that I bought something like that, especially from the company that he hated most, his biggest competitor. Drew despised Malibu jewels. I knew he’d call. He didn’t.

Next I decided to remodel Drew’s office. I had the walls lined with bookshelves, the desk taken out, replacing it with two big comfy chairs with matching ottomans, one for me and one for Nicky. My next spending spree was books to fill the shelves. That part I loved and actually did occupy my mind. Every time I got a shipment of books, I spent hours organizing them. I was going to read every last one of them. That would occupy my time and my mind.

Okay now this was getting to be ridiculous. Drew didn’t care that I’d spent close to one hundred thousand dollars in less than a month. He wasn’t calling.

“Here, you read this,” I said, taking my book from Nicky and handing him one of his shiny books with the fat pages. I sat on the floor with him and dialed Celeste. I was going to demand that she give him the phone, enough was enough. He had plenty of time to get over feeling sorry for himself, and I wanted our family back together.

“I know you’re with Drew. Let me talk to him,” I demanded as soon as she answered.

“Actually, I’m not with Drew. He had an appointment with Deidra this morning.”

“He did?” That surprised me. He was still seeing Deidra?

“Yes, he goes twice a week.”

“He does?”

“Yes, how are you?”

“I’m miserable. How is Drew?”

“Miserable. I don’t know what he’s thinking. You two belong together.”

“Have you tried telling him that? I could use some help.”

“I have. He won’t listen. He truly believes he is doing the right thing.”

“He’s not.”

“It’s not for me to say, Morgan. I just work for the man.”

“You’re a friend. You do more than just work for him.”

“He’s not going to listen to me.”

“I know.” I admitted. She was right. Drew would tell her to mind her own business. Nothing was going to get him to call.

Wait a second….

“Hey, I’ll talk to you later. I need to get Nicholas out of the flowerpot again.”

“Okay, call me anytime.”

“I will. Thanks.”

Nicholas really was in the flowerpot again. I opened his fist, dropping the hand full of dirt, and tossed him in the air. “You stay out of there, little man,” I sang.

Placing him on the floor in our new little library I gave him some toys and opened up the airline booking site for Drew’s plane. It worked. I proudly smiled ten minutes later when I saw Drew’s number.

“What the hell are you doing, Morgan?”

“Drew, how are you?” I nonchalantly asked.

“Morgan, you are not going to Maine.”

“I’m not?” I coyly asked.

“No, you’re not. You have no reason to go to Maine.”

“I’m not sure that’s for you to decide. You threw us away, remember, Drew? You haven’t talked to me in almost two months. You can’t just call me and demand that I not do something you don’t want me to do.”

“Morgan, don’t do this.”

“Fine, come and get us. Take us home.”

“Morgan, you’re doing fine there. You’re better there. Please don’t go to Maine.”

“Yeah, okay. Well, if you only called to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to fly to Maine, I guess we’re finished here.”

“I’m not kidding, Morgan. Don’t you dare take my son across the country.”

“You mean the son that you haven’t even called to check on for almost two months?”

“I talk to your mother every day.” Now that pissed me off.

I hung up, furious with him and my mother for not telling me. I was going to Maine. Seeing Starlight was just what I needed. . Maybe I should call her first. We were going to need a place to stay.

My mother and I had words that evening at supper about her talking to Drew daily and not telling me. I had been moping around for weeks, and she had been talking to him.

“Morgan, I’m trying to do what’s best for both you. I don’t know how to help you without helping Drew.”

“What does that mean? You think Nicky and I are better off without him?”

“I do. I’m scared something is going to happen and Nicholas is going to lose both of you.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“You can’t control Drew’s temper any more than he can right now. I don’t know anything about Drew’s past, but I do know he has issues.”

“I know his past, and he has good reason to be the way he is. He’s not going to hurt me.”

“Morgan, he did hurt you. He’s hurt you a lot.”

“That doesn’t really hurt me. You don’t know him. The good that Drew does outweighs the bad by tons.”

“And what if the next bad is the last one? You could have died, Morgan.”

“If Drew hadn’t lost his temper and hit me, I would have died. Drew sped things along by that. If he hadn’t hit me, I probably would have went to sleep and never woken up.”

“Morgan, you’ve got to stop making excuses for him. Think about that baby boy. What would he do without either of you? You want his grandmother raising him?”

“You wouldn’t raise him, Celeste and Alicia would.” Shit. I shouldn’t have said that. I was being a bitch, and it wasn’t my mother’s fault. She rightly was trying to help me. My mother patted me on the knee with a warm smile.

“I will talk to you after bit, okay?”

“Mom, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you. I’m just confused.”

“I know, sweetie. Why don’t you lie down and rest awhile. I’ll take Nicky for a bit.”

“Okay, but I’m still going to Maine tomorrow.”

My mom shrugged her shoulders. “You’re a grown woman,” she replied, leaving me alone, alone with a deep breath and my own self-pity. How did things get this complicated?

Chapter 38

“Come here, you little monkey,” I coaxed, grabbing Nicholas around the waist after getting one shoe on him. “We’re going on the airplane,” I explained, like he had any idea what I was saying.

“Da, da,” Nicholas babbled. I didn’t even hear him open the door. It was Drew, and Nicky was going after him. He ran as fast as his little legs would let him, falling down twice to get to Drew. I wanted to run to him too. I didn’t. I stayed seated on the floor, watching. Drew picked him up and hugged him so tight. Closing his eyes while he embraced the feel of his son.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, standing.

“I’m not letting you go to Maine.”

“Why?” I didn’t get it. What the hell?

“You didn’t leave anything behind there. You don’t need to go to Maine.”

“You’re divorcing me. You can’t tell me what to do.”

“You’re not going to Maine.”

“You’re impossible. You don’t talk to me for two months, and then out of the blue you call me because my credit card was charged for an airline ticket to Maine? What the hell, Drew?”

“It wasn’t two months. It was fifty one days. Why do you want to go there? There’s nothing there you need to go there for.”

“I want to visit Starlight.”

“And Dawson,” Drew decided.

“I’m sure Dawson is happily married, loving his little family, unlike me.”

“Dawson is not married.”

That got my attention. “What do you mean? Lauren told me they were getting married. They had a baby girl, Starlight told me.”

“Starlight doesn’t tell you everything. Lauren left Dawson. She moved away with some guy named Joel.”

“Joel was her boyfriend before Dawson. She took the baby from him?” That made me not like my ex-best friend even more. Dawson didn’t deserve that. Dawson was a good man.

“No, she left the baby. Dawson has full custody of her.”

Now I hated her. “How do you know this?”

“I was there when we sold the house. I saw him at the coffee shop with Starlight.”

“Okay, Drew. I see what this is all about. You don’t want me going there because you know Dawson is single, and you’re afraid that we’re going to pick up where we left off. Is that it? Is that why you don’t want me to go to Maine?”

“Yes,” he quietly admitted.

“Drew, you big dumb idiot. I don’t want Dawson. I want you. I want our family back. I can’t take this. You can’t just send me to the beach house and forget us. Marriage doesn’t work that way.” I wanted to walk towards him when Nicky squirmed from his arms. Afraid of rejection, I didn’t.

“Morgan, we have never had a normal marriage and you know it.”

“I don’t care about that. It’s enough. I want us, Drew.”

“I need some time.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I need some time away from you.”

“Because you don’t want me?”

“God no, Morgan. Because I hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want my son thinking that it’s okay to hurt you. I have to get some things worked out with myself before I can take care of you.”

“And that means you’re not giving up on us? You just need some time?” I asked, hoping he would say yes.

“I don’t know. I’m afraid of the next time.”

“That was my fault, Drew. I should have used our word. I shouldn’t have provoked you.”

“No words can stop me in that state, Morgan. I know what I am capable of.”

“Okay, so where does that leave us? Am I supposed to just sit around here and wait? Wait for what, Drew? I don’t even know what you’re saying.”

Drew dropped to his knees and pushed the bulky red car to Nicholas. He laughed, causing us both to smile at him.

“Drew, please don’t leave me.”

“Damn it, Morgan. Come here.”

That was all I needed. I was in Drew’s arms in half a second, sobbing at his smell, the feel of his strong arms, and the emotions that only he and I could feel.

“You can’t do this to us, Drew. We’ve come too far,” I begged.

“I need some time, Morgan. This can never happen again.”

“I’ll give you time. Just don’t give up on us. We’ll stay here, and you can come whenever you want.”

“Morgan—”

“Please, Drew.” I begged again, sounding like a desperate psychopath. I was desperate. I couldn’t do this without Drew. I didn’t want to.

“Let’s just wait and see if I am fixable,” Drew replied, pulling me tighter. He missed me. I knew he did. I could tell. I didn’t argue with him. I was just happy that he was with us.

Drew grilled burgers on the deck for us and we ate overlooking the breathtaking ocean. He never took his eyes off me or his hands off Nicholas. I couldn’t understand it. He loved us. I could see it in his eyes. Why did he think things were better with us being apart? They weren’t.

I was never so happy in my life for Nicholas’s bath time. I was happy that Drew was there and wanted to eat him up, but I wanted him all to myself. Two months was a long time to wait for Drew and me.

“Morgan?” Drew asked, opening the door to his new office.

“Oh, I was kind of mad at you.”

“Obviously,” he laughed. “Where’s my desk?”

“We roasted hot dogs,” I teased. “You can put another one back in there.”

“We’ll see.”

I didn’t like that answer. He wasn’t doing much to reassure me.

I showered while Drew got Nicholas in his jammies and read to him. I felt like we were about to have sex for the first time. Shaving my legs, I wondered if we were having sex at all. My throbbing between my legs was sure we were.

Walking out in nothing but a towel, Drew and I both stopped. I was exiting the bathroom just as he entered our room.

“Morgan, Deidra doesn’t think we should do anything.”

“Anything like what?” I asked, seductively, dropping the towel. Screw Deidra. I was getting laid. I didn’t give him time to protest. I walked into his arms and kissed him. Drew and I stood there, emotionally entwining our tongues, losing ourselves in one another. I was the sick one. I was the one that needed the help. My mind and body was fighting the urges, wanting Drew to do the things Drew did. Something told me Drew wasn’t going to do that.

“Make love to me,” I whispered to his lips.

“I knew you would do this,” he accused, toeing off both shoes and dropping me to our bed.

Drew did none of the things I wanted. It was amazing, but not my Drew. Our naked bodies tangled together, and I drifted to the place only Drew could take me. Feeling his fingers slide up my wet slit first, my back arched. God, he felt amazing. Drew kissed me, forcing his tongue between my lips. I felt him move into me, slowly, inch by inch.

I’ve probably felt and said it before, but it was the most emotional lovemaking we’d ever shared. There was nothing kinky about it. It was pure love. I felt it, and I know Drew did as well.

“Shit, Morgan. You have to hurry,” Drew coaxed, losing his willpower.

“I don’t want this to ever be over,” I softly spoke. I didn’t want it to be over. I didn’t care if I didn’t get off. I wanted to keep Drew right here with me, feeling like this forever.

“Please come,” he begged, placing his fingers between us and between my legs to help. That did it. His fingers massaging my nub while he pumped in and out of me was all it took. Digging my nails into his back, I let go. Drew thrust deep inside me and released with me, breathing heavy breaths into my hair.

I don’t know what came over me, but a feeling crept up that left me an emotional mess. I felt the tear slide down my eye. Drew raised up, looked at me with a sad smile, and kissed it away.

“I’m sorry, Morgan.”

“Don’t be sorry, Drew. Just stop with all this. I can’t stand not being with you. Nicholas shouldn’t be without you either.”

“Morgan, you have to let me work through this. I love you too much to hurt you anymore. I’m not doing it, and I can’t guarantee that I won’t yet.”

I sighed a long heavy breath and slid from beneath him. It was pointless. Drew was on some sort of mission that didn’t include me. How long it was going to take was beyond me. There was nothing I could say that was going to change his mind. He felt in his heart that this was right, and I couldn’t change it, Nicky couldn’t change it, and I could only wait and hope.

Drew spent the next two days at the beach with us. We didn’t talk about anything serious, not because I didn’t want to, because he wouldn’t do it. I caught him on the phone twice with Deidra. He was really into Deidra all of a sudden. I was glad that he was getting help. He needed to talk to someone besides me. He didn’t want me hearing the gruesome details of his childhood, and truth be known, I didn’t want to hear them. I’m not sure I could handle it without digging Michael Callaway up and killing him all over again.

We spent two days in each other’s arms, pretending. That’s what we were doing, pretending that we were this happy family but with blinders on. Forget about the baggage, that’s what we did. We played with our son, walked on the beach in search of sea glass, and made love, over and over again.

“Drew, please. Take us home with you,” I begged.

“Morgan, not yet. We’ve talked about this. I’m not ready to do that yet.”

“We didn’t talk about anything,” I said, getting angry. “We’ve been fine for the last three days. I don’t want to be here without you.” I started crying.

“Please don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry. I’m working on it. I want you home with me, but I am not doing that until I know I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You won’t.”

“I love you.”

That was it. Drew kissed Nicholas and spun on his heels out the door.

It wasn’t as bad as it was before. Drew did talk to me every morning, and we Skyped every night with Nicholas. Drew read his bedtime stories through the computer while I rocked him on my lap. I still didn’t like it. It wasn’t the same as being with him. Every time I brought it up, he derailed it. I had no idea when or if we’d ever be a family again.

Drew had a lot of emotional baggage to deal with and the only thing I could do was step back and let him work it out on his own, without me. He didn’t want me helping him. Although it was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I did it for him. I stepped back and settled for the good morning phone calls and the video chat every night. What else was I supposed to do? I understood or tried to anyway. I knew he had to do this his way, but it didn’t do much to convince me that he would ever be ready for us again. He was too freaked out, too afraid of hurting me. I could understand it as much as I couldn’t.

Chapter 39

I was getting used to our little arrangement. I still didn’t like it, but I was falling into the routine of things. I spent the days on the beach with my mother, Caroline, and Nicky, longing for the hour that I could see Drew on my laptop.

“Guess who’s coming to see you tomorrow?” Drew asked while I dressed Nicky in new jammies from my spending spree a few weeks back.

“You’re coming here?!?” I exclaimed, turning to my computer.

“No, not yet. Alicia is coming with the kids.”

“Oh,” I said, sounding disappointed.

“I thought you’d be happy to see her.”

“I am, but I’d be happier to see you. I haven’t had sex in almost two months again. I hate it. I’m about to go to a bar or something.”

Drew laughed. “How about you just take care of that yourself until I see you?”

“I’m tired of taking care of it myself. I need you inside me.”

“Damn it. Don’t talk like that. You take care of it yourself—a lot?” Drew asked. Okay, bait taken.

“Yes, I do,” I admitted. Okay, maybe it wasn’t a lot, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Show me.”

“Show you what? Nicky is right here.”

“Start rocking him, and I’ll start reading.”

“Or you could just come her and fuck me,” I whispered close to the screen.

“I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to make love to you.”

“Oh no, Drew. You can’t change everything. Some things have to stay the same.”

“I can’t do things the way I’ve always done them.”

“Some things you can. I don’t want to just make love.”

“What do you want?”

“Well, sometimes I want to just make love. Sometimes I want to have sex, and sometimes I want to fuck,” I explained, whispering the last word again.

“I need to know the difference.”

“I’m not going to explain that to you right now. I’m already wet and throbbing down there.”

“Jesus, Morgan. Start rocking.”

Laughing, I held Nicholas while he watched his daddy through the computer reading him a bedtime story. I could tell Drew was reading faster than normal. It was doing nothing to put Nicky out any quicker. He wasn’t interested in sleeping yet.

Drew and I talked about Alicia coming, making small talk while Nicholas kicked his foot, trying to stay awake and fight sleep that he was more than ready for.

“He’s asleep,” Drew whispered. “Put him to bed and go to your room.”

“Our room,” I corrected.

After securing Nicolas in his bed, I carried the laptop to my bed, positioned it where Drew could see me, and slowly undressed.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Drew asserted in a raspy voice.

Sliding my fingers through my wet folds, I thanked him. “You have to get naked too,” I coaxed.

“Tell me your three sex scenarios,” he persuaded as I watched him undress and take his already full mast erection in his hand. Jesus, I wanted to hold it in my hand like that.

“The way I see it, they all sort of do the same thing, but for radically different purposes.”

“Like?”

“Well, making love is not about sex, it’s an emotional connection when I want to be as close to you as I can. You being inside me is as close as I can get to you, emotionally and physically,” I explained, rubbing my juices around my swollen nub while my husband watched.

“I like making love. What else?”

“Fucking is purely selfish, all about getting off. You do it, I do it, and I love it.”

“And?”

“Sex is mutually fun, all about entertaining one another.”

“Hmmm, I like the way you think. Which do you feel right this second?”

“Sex, for sure.”

“Why?”

“Because that is what we’re doing.”

“How long do you think it’s going to take for you to entertain me?”

I laughed. “Are you telling me that you’re about to blow your load?”

“That’s exactly what I am telling you. Spread your pussy lips for me.”

Not that it was possible, but I was sure I just got wetter hearing Drew’s dirty talk and watching him pump his muscle in his hand. I spread myself and fiercely rubbed my aching nub. Propping my foot to the bed, I gave Drew the perfect view. I was more than ready, but not until I heard Drew moan and then watched as he spewed into his hand. It was instant after that. I dropped my head back and moaned with him. It was great, not the same as when he would have been here, but nonetheless. It was amazing.

Drew and I talked through the computer for close to an hour about unimportant topics. Drew wouldn’t discuss anything else with me. I hated and loved it at the same time. I wanted us back together. This was crazy and no matter how much I fell into the routine of things, it wasn’t the same as having him there.

***

Alicia and the kids arrived around noon. I was so happy to see her. I couldn’t get over how much the baby had grown. She was so cute and had developed her own little personality. I didn’t see much of Vince that day. He was too busy treasure hunting with Jason and Caroline.

Alicia was just what I needed, and as soon as we had the little ones down she and I had a date on the deck, overlooking the ocean. After a few drinks, we were getting just a tad bit intoxicated.  We didn’t have to worry about Vince; he was camping out at the beach with Caroline, my mom, and Jason.

“One for you, and one for me,” Alicia said, handing me a cold bottle of beer. It was heaven to my lips and taste buds.

Alicia and I discussed issues with her and Celeste for a long time and then moved on to Drew. She told me what she knew from Celeste, but it wasn’t much. Drew didn’t talk to Celeste that way. I knew how he felt about his personal affairs. They were just that, personal.

“I am so over breastfeeding,” Alicia complained after coming back from the bathroom.

I laughed. “Why?”

“Because it messes my period all up. I swear it has not been a month. What?” Alicia said looking at my dropped face.

“Oh, my god.”

“What?” she asked again, not getting it.

“I don’t remember my last period. Drew and I had sex the whole weekend he was here.”

“But you’re on the pill?” she questioned.

“No. I mean, not since I came here. I never packed them and, well, I didn’t really need them I guess.”

“When was your last period?” Alicia asked, taking my beer.

“Um,” I mumbled, counting in my head. When was it? I had been so preoccupied with everything, I didn’t even notice. “The week before Drew was here.”

“Oh man, you’re pregnant.”

I smiled. I was pregnant. I knew I was. Well, I sort of mischievously hoped anyway. Drew wouldn’t stay away from me knowing I was pregnant. And he was the one that wanted another baby, not me. I was sure he was about to get one. It wasn’t like I was trying to trap him or anything. It wasn’t my fault we never discussed that when he was here.

“We need a test. Now!” I exclaimed.

I called my mother to come stay with the babies. I couldn’t wait. I had to know for sure.

“How much have you had to drink? Why do you have to go to the store tonight?” my mother asked before letting us leave.

“I didn’t even drink a whole beer, and I want to go buy a pregnancy test.”

“No, Morgan. Not now,” she complained. I could tell she wasn’t happy about it. I could understand that, but she didn’t know the true relationship with Drew and me. Nobody did and nobody would ever understand.

“Mom, it’s fine. I promise,” I said almost giddily. I was pregnant. I was sure of it, and I was getting my husband back. It wasn’t like I was some teenager trying to trap him. We were married and I didn’t care that Drew had issues to deal with. I didn’t care that throwing another child into our fucked up life probably wasn’t the best plan. I wanted my family back, and I was sure this would do it.

We were only gone maybe twenty minutes and I immediately took one of the three tests to the bathroom. I wanted to make sure.

“Yes!” I exclaimed, holding the little stick between my fingers. I was pregnant and happy about it.

“Dear lord, Morgan,” my mother spoke, dropping to the couch. She wasn’t happy about it, neither was Alicia. They both thought it was a bad idea. I didn’t care. I was happy.

“Alicia, will you stay here with Nicky?” I asked, “Just for a couple days?”

“Why?”

“I want to go to Drew. I don’t want to tell him over the phone.”

“I don’t know, Morgan. I have a bad feeling about all this. I need to call Celeste first.”

“Fine. Mom can you take Nicky for me?” I asked, turning to my mom with a bit of an attitude. They may not have been happy about this baby, but when it came right down to it, it was really none of their business.

“Yes, I will, but not right now. I want you to take a couple days and think about this.”

“Think about what?”

“The whole thing, Morgan. Use your head. You’re not even with your husband right now. I don’t think this is a good idea right now.”

“What is a good idea, Mom? I’m pregnant. I’m going to have another baby, and I’d like to go home and tell my husband in person.”

“Then go,” she waved her hand towards the door with an exasperated breath. What the hell?

I had one hell of a time keeping my mouth shut when Drew called. I wanted to tell him so badly, I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t though. My plane was leaving at six in the morning, and I’d be on the ground by noon. I threatened Alicia with her life not to tell Celeste I was coming. Drew would try and stop me. I was sure. I wouldn’t even use my credit card, I used my mom’s, knowing Drew would call the second he saw the transaction.

Sleeping was impossible. I tossed and turned the entire night, thinking about what the outcome was going to be. Would Drew be mad? What if he thinks I did it as a way to trap him? I didn’t do it on purpose. It just happened. He was the one that wanted me to stop taking my pills. It didn’t stop the entire night. The same questions played over and over until I finally got up a four a.m. and got ready to go.

Leaving Alicia sleeping, I sneaked out into the crisp dark morning. For being sleep deprived the sea salt air left me feeling invigorated, like it was a new beginning. I just hoped that my feeling was correct and Drew was happy about this.

I did doze on the plane, sleeping three of the five hour flight. I started getting nervous during the last hour, and the adrenalin really started pumping as the plane descended. What the hell was I doing? The realization that this could go all sorts of bad finally set in, and I was scared.

The cab drive to the mansion was worse. My blood pumped too fast, my hands were clammy, and I had to talk myself down to calm my breathing.

Celeste met me at the door. She knew. Alicia called her. She smiled a sad smile and told me he was in the office.

“Does he know I’m here?” I asked, hoping she kept her mouth shut.

“Nope, and I’m leaving. You have my number if you need me.” Celeste thought the whole baby thing was crazy too. I could tell she didn’t like it either. Whatever, it was none of her business either.

Breathing one more deep breath, I opened the office door. Drew looked up, dumbfounded that I was there. Standing he instantly came to me.

“What’s wrong? Is Nicholas okay?” he asked with a worried tone.

“Yes, he’s fine.”

“Are you okay? Morgan, what are you doing here?”

“I don’t want to be away from you anymore, Drew. I want our family back.”

Drew smiled, leaned against his desk, and pulled me towards him. “I know you do. I’m working on it.”

“I mean now. Right this second. I don’t want to wait for you to get better or whatever you think you need. I want to help you. I want to be here to help you.”

“I don’t want you here. We’re not going to be in this house anymore. Didn’t you see all the boxes?”

“Boxes? What do you mean?”

“I sold the mansion. We’re not living here anymore. I need to be away from this house, and the memories.”

“Okay, but we’re going to be together again? Now?”

“Soon. I’m trying to tie up all these loose ends so we can do that.”

“What loose ends?”

“Callaway Jewels. I sold out to Malibu.”

“Sold what? Which store?”

“All of them. I’m done with anything that has to do with a Callaway.”

“What does that mean, Drew? What will you do?”

Drew snickered. “I don’t have to do anything, Morgan. We have enough money to last our great-great-grandchildren for the rest of their lives. I thought maybe I’d spend my days on the beach finding treasures with my son.”

“We’re going to live at the beach house?”

“For a while. How do you feel about that?”

“I feel like I love you. What about Deidra? She’s okay with this?”

“Deidra has helped me realize all of this over the past few months. Baby, I don’t care about all of this. I care about you and that little boy. Hey, where’s my son?”

“With my mom and Alicia.” I smiled. “When, Drew? When are you going to be there with us?”

“Three maybe four more weeks.”

“I want to stay here with you.”

“No. I don’t want you here. I’m trying to disassociate myself from this house and anything to do with Callaway. I need you to go back to the beach house.”

“Okay,” I agreed completely shocked and stupefied. He hadn’t been doing what I’d pictured him doing at all. He wasn’t hiding behind work. He was busy, trying to sell everything so he could be with us.

“What are you doing here? I can’t believe you flew here without telling me.”

“I had something I wanted to tell you, and I couldn’t wait.”

“Is it bad?”

“I hope not.”

“What is it, Morgan. You’re scaring me.”

“I’m pregnant.”

Drew came to an upright position, forcing me to step back. “You’re…you’re pregnant? How? When?”

“When you came to stop me from going to Maine. And I don’t really need to explain the how.”

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.” I exhaled, seeing the creeping smile I was waiting for.

Drew grabbed me spun me in a circle and kissed me. “You have no idea how happy that makes me, Mrs. Kelley. I love you so much, and I am going to spend the rest of my life being the best husband and daddy I can be.”

“I don’t doubt that, not for one second. We’re going to be okay now, Drew.”

“We are, love, and I can promise you that and stand behind it now. You’re pregnant?”

“I am.”

I spent the entire day telling the movers what I wanted packed. Most of it was being sold. I felt the same as Drew. I didn’t want it either, besides, we didn’t really need it. We had everything we needed at the beach house already.

Drew wouldn’t even let me take most of Nicholas’s clothes. He said we didn’t need to save clothes, we weren’t having a used baby, and it was going to be a little girl anyway.

“We’re going to have plenty of time to shop anyway. Let’s donate them,” he’d told me. I was okay with it. I liked the idea of shopping hand in hand with Drew, picking out pink and purple outfits.

“That’s enough. Let’s go to the movies,” Drew stated, taping up the last box of toys.

“Movies?” Drew and I had never been to movie, not at a theater anyway. We’d gone to more elaborate shows but never to a movie theater.

“Yes, let’s go get a happy meal and watch a movie.”

“Have you ever been to a movie?” Drew asked, sitting in the parking lot, eating fast-food.

“Yes, Dawson used to take me a lot.”

“I should have done more stuff like that with you. I’m going to from here on out.”

“That makes me very happy,” I said, moving closer, letting him bite half my French fry and kiss my lips.

Drew and I sat holding hands in the dark theater. The movie sucked and we spent most of the show making fun of how awful it was.

“We’re really doing this, Morgan,” Drew whispered.

“Doing what?”

“Acting like a real couple out on a date night.”

“We never went on dates.”

“We’re going to now. I promise.”

“Shhhhh,” we both heard from behind us. I guess we were the only ones who didn’t like the movie.

“Let’s get out of here,” I whispered.

That was the last night that Drew and I would be a couple in the mansion. I wasn’t going to miss it at all. I loved the beach in Maine, and I loved the beach on Rodanthe Island even more. Winters in Maine could get pretty crazy.

“Drew, I don’t want everything to change,” I confessed, leaning against his chest while we soaked in our bubble filled tub for the last time.

Drew traced my fingers and kissed the side of my head. “We’ll see, Morgan. Maybe things will be different in the new house. I have a line that I’ve drawn for myself. I’m not crossing that line with you again. I’m afraid of how far it will go if I do.”

“Okay, let’s make our own rules.”

“Like?”

“Spanking. Are you telling me you’re not interested in that anymore?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Answer my question.”

“I love spanking your ass. It makes my dick hard just thinking about it.”

“Then we’re not stopping that. I like it too. Anal? We’re not stopping that either, right?”

“That one is totally up to you. I don’t want it to feel dirty, like my childhood has anything to do with it.”

“I never knew about that until lately. I don’t find it dirty at all. I find it sensual and erotic, something we both enjoy. We’re not stopping that either. The belt?” I continued, trying to decipher Drew’s fine line.

“Definitely not. I’m not touching you with anything that is going to leave a bruise.”

“I can take it.”

“Morgan, I don’t want you to take it. You shouldn’t want me to hurt you.”

“But sometimes I do.”

“Why?” Drew asked, raising up and spinning me to look at him.

“It’s what we do, Drew. I don’t want everything to change.”

“Morgan, that’s not normal. We can’t be that couple anymore.”

“It’s normal for us, Drew. We don’t have to be like everyone else. Who even knows what normal is?”

Drew took a deep breath and pulled me back to him. “We’re definitely continuing with Deidra.”

“How? Through the phone?”

“We’ll work that out with her. We could fly her to us a couple of times a month and maybe do phone sessions too. I know I am the one that put us here, but I think you have buried issues needing dealt with as well.”

“It’s not all your fault.”

“Pretty much. Come on, let’s get out.”

I did talk Drew into spanking me that night. How pathetic was I? Maybe I did need to talk to Deidra more. I wanted Drew to be rough with me, force himself in my mouth, in my ass, and demand that I do things I’d always thought I didn’t want to do before. He did none of those things. Drew caressed every inch of my body and made love to me with so much emotion. Drew loved me and no matter how fucked up it was, I loved him too.

Epilogue

Living on the beach with my husband and son was the best thing Drew could have done for us. I was happy, loving life and loving my family. Celeste kept the store on the strip and was now spending more time with her own family. They did visit once in a while but sort of lost their room to a nursery.

I’m sure we would have never gone back to Vegas had it not been for Justin. I wasn’t about to lose touch with him again. We flew there when I was five months pregnant, just to watch him sing in the choir concert. He was very, very good, and I was so proud of him.

I was so afraid of Drew becoming bored with not working. He wasn’t at all. We stayed busy with Nicholas, who was talking up a storm and turning into his own little person. Not once had I been afraid of Drew in our new surroundings. If I owed it to anyone, I’d have to say it was Deidra. I would forever be grateful that she was the one to break the barrier; help him to realize what happened to him was nothing for him to be ashamed of and that it wasn’t his fault.

Drew and I still had our moments, and Deidra still counseled us twice a week over the phone. I imagine we’ll always have our moments. Sometimes they were his fault and sometimes they were mine. Nonetheless, we were doing it. We took a relationship that should have never been and made it something real, something we were both proud of.

Weston David Kelley came into the world weighing more than Nicholas had. I wasn’t sure I was up for anymore ten pound babies. He was a tiny, big boy, and I was instantly in love—again.

Now I can tell you that the poor little mountain girl from a poverty stricken town in West Virginia had finally gotten her happily ever after, except for maybe having a little girl.

THE END