A Lil' Less Broken

Book One

The Kingsmen Series

Tara Oakes

This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

First edition. July 16, 2014

Copyright 2014 Tara Oakes

Written by Tara Oakes

Book Cover: Image from Tatiana Villa, www.viladesign.net

TO MY LAMBCHOP, MY LOVE

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

BIKER FRIENDLY REFERENCE

The life of a biker although foreign to most of us, is a very intriguing subculture with it's own laws, rules, language, and traditions. Hopefully this reference will help the rest of us get to know a bit more about them before we take a peak into the lives of Lil's and Jay, two people born and raised in the secret world of the M.C., full of passion, loyalty, fierce family bonds and... danger.

TERMS

1%er -

The small population of biker clubs that consider themselves outside the law. They often run operations in gambling, guns, prostitution, smuggling, paid protection, drugs, and more. They are considered to be the baddest of the bad, and the roughest of the rough.

Brother -

Club members within the same club refer to each other as 'Brother'. They have made a vow to each other to protect and take care of each other as family.

Cage-

An automobile, usually a van.

Church –

A club meeting to be attended by patched brothers only. Most clubs run as a democracy and important matters are voted on during meetings.

Club Mama –

Women that regularly attend events and interact with the M.C. They may aspire to become an Ol' lady one day but do not yet have a patch holder. They may spend time with many different bikers within a club but have loyalty to the club first before a man. They are considered to be a little bit more respected than a sweet butt.

Cut -

Refers to the the leather vest worn by most bikers in a club.

M.C.-

Acronym for Motorcycle Club.

Ol' Lady –

A term of affection used for the main woman, or wife of a club member. She is given his protection and is considered off limits to any other biker. Women are not considered club members, but rather have associations to the club through their Ol' man or their patch holder.

Nomad –

A member of an M.C. that is currently without a specific charter. They are still considered a brother but they choose not to offer specific allegiance to a designated charter, instead they are loyal to the club organization in whole.

Patched In –

When a prospect completes his initiation period and is voted in to become a full fledged club member, or “Brother”

Patches –

The cloth patches or embroidered design added to a bikers vest, or cut, that identifies which club they belong to, the location of their specific charter and their position in it. Other patches can be added to signify milestone events. Example: if the member has ever served prison time for his club, or killed for it.

Piece –

A gun.

Prospect –

Those that desire to become a full fledged patched member must complete an initiation period as a prospect before a final vote is taken as to whether or not they can fully join. Prospect's usually are given the worst assignments and must prove their loyalty and worth to the club.

Rag –

Another term for a leather vest, or cut, but worn by a woman, given to her by her ol' man to signify that she is his “property” and is off limits. An ol' lady's rag does not usually bear the club name, logo or charter as she is not a club member. It simply states “Property of_____”

Sweet Butt –

A term used to describe a woman who is used by members in a club. They are usually welcomed to club parties, or 'Brother only' parties but are never allowed at family events. It is a derogatory term and there is very little respect for these ladies by club members.

Tat –

A tattoo. Full fledged club members, or brothers, often have the club patches permanently tattooed on their body to signify that they are a member even if not wearing their cuts. An Ol' lady will usually have a tattoo to honor her Ol' man to signify that she is his property even if she is not wearing her rag.

CHAPTER ONE

SATURDAY

This is bad. This is so fucking bad. I can't believe this is actually happening. I must have the worst damn luck. If my left cheek wasn't throbbing so much, I could pass this all off as a dream.

The sun was rising higher in the morning sky. If I had to guess, it was probably going on 8 a.m., maybe 9. I hadn't slept in thirty hours, but sleep deprivation was the least of my worries, adrenaline was still coursing through me keeping the fatigue at bay. What was taking so long? I know enough about this crap to know that I should either be dead, or worse by now. I lift my eyes to scan the men keeping a watchful eye over me, and decide that death would be my choice.

The man closest to me reeked of beer and body odor. His tattoos were large and faded-skulls, thorns, chicks with big tits... yada yada yada. The same cliche ink that most of these guys were sporting. His large black boots were covered in dirt and worn. I glance up, taking stock as I go. Dirty jeans, splattered with blood, mud and who knows what else. Prince Charming notices my rising eyes and grabs his crotch, thrusting his hips toward me.

"You see something you want, girlie?" he spits as he gyrates to me. Bile forms in my throat, and I gulp down my disgust.

"Nahhh... I'm good." This is REALLY fucking bad. Ok. I need to think of my options. No one knows I'm here. I was supposed to sneak into town last night, meet up with Christine and some girl's for her bachelorette party and then clear out first thing this morning before anyone caught wind that I was back. I should have known better. If Christine hadn't been my closest friend since childhood, I would have stayed away. Options. What the hell are my options, here?

The roar of motorcycles quickly approaching practically gives me whiplash as my head jerks up to see. Great. Well, at least I don't have to worry about options anymore. I won't be needing them. It was now out of my hands.

I watched as the bikes cleared past me, sitting on an old wooden picnic bench in the middle of the fenced in lot. I counted each one, as an invisible knife slowly tore at my gut with each passing Harley. The first, carried a huge man bearing the nastiest scowl I had ever seen partially hidden by dark sunglasses. His black leather vest covered his matching t-shirt. I couldn't have been more than thirty feet away, but I didn't need to squint and try to read the words in patches and embroidery on his cut. I knew them by heart.

Vince, my godfather, was nothing to mess with. I've known a lot of rough guys in my life but he topped the cake. As the president of the Kingsmen MC he was respected for that roughness, having earned every bit of it. He could also be a teddy bear, although I seriously doubted that I would be seeing that side of him today.

If Vince had come alone, I could probably have handled it. The immense feelings of disappointment and shame might have been manageable if it was only him that came to my rescue today. But no, I have no fucking luck remember?, the whole god damned calvary had to come instead.

I resolve myself to the inevitable amount of shit that was about to come down on me, as I watch Vince dismount his Harley, followed by my dad Butch, my brother Tiny and my 'uncles' Chaps, Dewey and Clink. The last rider stayed on his bike, staring at me. My breathing hitched as I locked eyes with him. There was no emotion in those eyes at the moment, although I had seen enough to last me a lifetime.

Tiny strode past Vince and nearly reaches me before my lovely groin grabbing captor blocks his path. "Untie her fuckin' hands right now you fuckin' bastard!" Tiny screams at the man who I have nicknamed 'Crotch' for the time being. Vince and my dad grab his shoulders back restraining him from tearing the other guy's head clean off.

Vince holds him back as he stares down 'Crotch' with invisible daggers. He speaks out to Tiny without breaking eye contact with my guard. "Not here brother... we handle this inside with Shade." He softens his voice but not his gaze, "You O.K Lil's? You hurt at all?" he asks out to me.

Besides the throbbing in my left cheek from being backhanded, the ropes cutting into my wrists and the splinters poking into my ass from the ancient table beneath not to mention lack of clothing (I had been to a bachelorette party after all), I'd say I was in pretty good shape. Clamping my knees together, suddenly aware of my abundance of bare flesh I blushed and whispered my answer. "Never been better." The sarcasm isn't lost on any of us.

The lingering rider finally dismounts his bike, placing his helmet on the handlebar, and calls out. "Enough of this bullshit. Let's fuckin’ do this already." He has such an air of authority about him, that even I can't help but fall in line. His sandy brown hair has that disheveled, recently mussed look to it. What I wouldn’t give to run my fingers through that hair right now, pull it down close to me...... "You.” He finally breaks his stare from mine and addresses my newfound, pelvic obsessed friend. He snaps his fingers as he points to my wrists tied together, resting in my lap. "Untie her now."

Turning on his heel he stalks away, into the building behind him. Vince and my dad push Tiny in the same direction and follow through the doorway. With all the shit that has gone down in the last twelve hours, I am not prepared to see him. Not now, not like this. Jasper was my first love, my only love. I haven't seen him in two years and the first glimpse he sees of me is tied, all sluted up, and in a shit storm of trouble. Great. This day cannot possibly get any fucking worse.

******

At least an hour must have passed. I sit rubbing my wrists to try and quiet the stinging. The dirtbags hovering around me have since backed off, giving me a little breathing room. This is torture, sitting here with nothing to do but think of Jasper, or "Jay" as the club called him. Nothing but minute after minute to think about how much I loved him, needed him and hated him. He was everything I wanted, everything I needed. He also broke my heart and crushed my soul along with it. I guess you could say that's where this whole damn mess started.

He was young, I was younger. It could have been called fate. We grew up together, born and raised in the MC. We always knew that he would patch in when he was old enough. He and Tiny patched in together. It was a really proud moment for our family, like passing the torch to the next generation. Our dad's were so pleased that their boys would carry on the tradition and the club that they built with their own bare hands would live on in the sons.

I had always had a crush on Jay. He was the drop dead gorgeous older boy who had swagger dripping out of his pores. I wasn't the only one to notice, either. He was never shy with the girls and he and Tiny always had tramps and sluts hanging all over them. I was the annoying younger sister that they never wanted around. After several years of being told to scram off or one too many pranks pulled on me, I gave them their space and started to grow up on my own.

I never quite fit in with the girls my age. They were into Barbie dolls, makeup, boy bands and shopping. I was into sports, books and school. I always kept my grades up and had one or two boys from class interested in me. That never lasted long though as Tiny and Jay would always find a way to scare them off.

THEN

When I turned sixteen, something changed. Not suddenly or out of nowhere, but gradually. Jay started to pop up randomly when Tiny wasn't around. He was twenty three and had just patched into the MC as a full member. I hadn't seen him much during the couple of years that they were prospecting to get into the club. I'm sure they were kept busy with club bullshit and nonsense.

He was so hot, and older and experienced and tough. I was none of those things and naturally drawn to him like a moth to a flame. He was strong and I felt safe and protected by him. He called me baby and I would just melt into his blue eyes. Butch wasn't thrilled that we were spending so much time together. I was always warned to keep my grades up and that nothing would be getting in the way of going to college. Especially not some 'hot shot, little shit that wanted in my pants'. Yeah, dad was a real poet.

After a couple of weeks I noticed that all of the boys starting to avoid me, even the one or two that could always be counted on to ask me to see a movie on the weekend or study for a test together. I'm sure seeing the older, tough as nails biker dropping me off in the morning and picking me up every afternoon didn't help matters much. It didn't take long until Jay was hanging around field hockey practice and showing up to games, even our travel ones.

When a month or so had passed I started to get the impression that maybe I wasn't imagining the hot, thick, tension between us. Maybe it wasn't just a kid sister protectiveness, maybe it was something more. Any doubts I had were quelled one night at a charter party back at the MC's clubhouse. It wasn't unusual for me to be there, considering both my brother and my pop were patched members. Jay stayed by my side the entire night.. critiquing my pool shot, sneaking me cups of beer instead of soda. By the time I would usually leave these parties... you know.. when the brothers would pair off with their lays for the night and the clubhouse started to resemble the set of a porn flick... Jay grabbed my hand and led me to the roof of the main building, far away from and out of earshot of the moaning and all out debauchery downstairs.

We lay side by side on the sloping roof, staring up at the clear night. It never got too cold in Chisholm, South Carolina.. especially on a warm May night like that one but suddenly I started to shiver. Jay pulled me close, noticing my shaking, "Shhhh.. baby.. you cold?"

I wasn't cold. But, somehow it seemed like the right thing to do to agree with him. Especially if it meant that he would be holding on to me to warm me with his steamy body heat. Jay smelled so good. Being that close to him I became enveloped in his soapy clean muskiness. He rubbed my shoulders and then my arms, trying to warm me from my 'chill'. The heat from the friction soon spread over me, flushing my face and neck and plummeting to my core. I had never felt anything like that before and could only compare it to the feeling one might get from a free falling elevator. Responding to these intense sensations, my body started to squirm slightly, searching for some type of anchor to calm the chaos.

Jay tucked his chin into the crook behind my ear and whispered in a raspy, husky voice. "That better, babe?", his lips lingered and explored the sensitive skin, breathing deep into my flowing hair. My eyes began to flutter and I held my breath afraid of what would escape if I tried to answer.

When I didn't respond for several moments, Jay pressed on my shoulders pulling me to him while rolling himself slightly over, hovering and placing his hands on either side while lifting himself directly above. With only an inch or so between us, he stared into me and locked my gaze with his. I could feel the breath from his lips come onto mine as he spoke. "I'm not gonna play around with this anymore, babe. You my girl?"

My eyes widened, taking in the full weight of his words. His Girl? How could I be his girl? I'm still sixteen. I'm the annoying little brat that they used to play tricks on and tease until I ran crying to mom, or Jay's mom. He was twenty three, gorgeous and a real bad ass. What did he need a girl for? I mean it was nothing he couldn't get anytime he wanted from the club mama's hanging around every night, or the sweet butts that came slinking in for parties.

I could feel my breath quickening and my pulse racing. Jay's hips slowly started moving down onto mine and settled their full weight between my thighs, then a slight bit of pressure started pressing into me. He hadn't blinked once. He just stared into me as my eyes raced around and my shallow, labored breathing tried it's damnedest to regulate itself. He brought his lips on top of mine, brushing their plumpness delicately over mine. "I asked.... are you my girl?"

Heat soared down to my legs and raced around into my stomach. My breathing finally slowed and I answered in the best way I could. "I don't know.... am I?" Jay seemed to like my response. His eyes flickered a hint of mischief and then hooded themselves.

"Damn right you're my girl..." He crashed his lips down on top of mine. I arched my neck up to meet him as his lips surrounded mine and pressed into them, onto them and around them. My mouth was putty in his as he guided me expertly deeper together. His lips parted slightly and I felt his moistness urging me to follow his lead. I had kissed a boy before, (well two if you counted Joey McDonough in the seventh grade) but this was different. This was kissing a man.

His tongue powerfully stroked my lips, first my top lip and then just as strong on my lower, urging them to open further for him. I followed his unspoken directions and allowed him to enter into me, searching for my own tongue and the comfort it would give him. He swirled around thrusting in, exploring what was hidden inside, maneuvering mine to match his rhythm. He tasted just as good as he smelled. A bit smoky, a bit spicy and a helluva lot like a deep musk would taste.

He growled lightly pulling me closer to him, as he pressed deeper onto me. The hardness of his manhood throbbing against my thigh through our jeans. I suddenly panicked.. never venturing this far into passion with a boy before, I was certain my inexperience would start to show and Jay would realize what a child I was compared to the slutty club mama's that knew how to satisfy him without pause. I started to inch my face away and tense myself.

Jay pulled himself away from my lips and pressed his forehead to mine, seeming to strain against himself. "Baby... you have no idea how much I love how innocent you are." He kissed my closed lips softly once more, "You're mine. My girl. No one else's. Say it baby."

"I'm your girl".

NOW

The door to the clubhouse of the Slayers MC finally opened as if answering my silent prayers. Thank god. I need this to be over with already. The waiting and the suspense was killing me. The last thing I needed at this point was more time to think back and remember the details of my very own shattered biker fairytale. I lived it, hell I've relived it a thousand times. The last thing I wanted was to remember....

Clink, Chaps and Dewey marched out first soon followed by my dad and my brother. They came right to me, offering me a bottle of cold water and a large Kingsmen t-shirt to cover my trashy midriff top. My pop grabbed hold of me and squeezed tightly. "Baby girl what the hell were you thinking?!" He scowled at me. Before I could answer, he pulled me in tight rocking slightly back and forth, offering whatever little bit of fatherly comfort he could.

"I don't know pop. It all happened so fast. Everything just got out of hand. How did you know I was here?" I had never been so thankful to see my Dad, but unless his fatherly radar was working overtime he shouldn't have had any reason to think that I was anywhere other than in my apartment three hours away in River Rapids.

Tiny stroked my hair back from my face as I cradled into my dad's shoulder and answered for him. "Your friend Christina came to the clubhouse and told Jay. We geared up and set a meeting with Shade to squash this shit. Jay and Vince are working out the details now."

My pop finally let me out of his bear hug and inspected me. "You hurt girl? These sons of bitches do anything to you?" There was an unspoken meaning to his questioning. The Slayers had a nasty reputation when it came to women from what I've been able to pick up over the years. Shade, their president had even served time for it. All the girls in town knew to stay away from them. I understood what my dad was asking.

"No pop. I'm fine. I just need to get out of here and go home." I lied. If I even so much as hinted that the big burly bald guy in the back of us had backhanded me last night I knew it would be an all out shit storm.

Butch nodded to me and cupped my chin. The entire group turned our attention once more to the clubhouse door as Shade, Vince and Jay stepped out into the sunlight. Jay already had his sunglasses on, making it more than difficult to read anything from him. Vince shook hands awkwardly and stiffly with Shade, mouthing something I couldn't make out. Shade smirked at the comment and called out to his goons. "Boys, it appears our hospitality has been appreciated. Our guests will be leaving now. All of them." I exhaled. That last bit was an obvious reference about me. "Jay," Shade called out as Jasper followed Vince towards us. "72 hours".

I looked around from Butch to Clink, to Dewey, Chaps and finally Tiny to reassure myself that it was really over. "Thank god. Thank you all so much. Can I really go home now?"

Vince made his way next to me and kissed my cheek. The others allowed him to answer. "Lil's... We're going home." I closed my eyes tight, the stress of the last night finally getting the best of me. I bit my lip to hold back my tears. Vince squeezed my shoulder reassuringly before he added "You're riding with your ol' man" before he and all of the other Kingsmen sought out their bikes.

My body suddenly felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds. Shock set in as I registered Vince's words. "Wait... MY WHAT?!" I called out behind them as I searched each of them for a visible answer. My heart stopped when I finally set eyes on Jay as he straddled over his bike staring forward, away from me and held out his own helmet as if it were poison and he wanted nothing more than to drop it.

"Get on" he growled. My mouth dried. No way.. this can't be happening. Jay stood stone still, not letting the helmet waiver a bit as I stood in shock. "I said... GET ON. NOW. " I frantically looked to my brother and my pop to step in and end this.. whatever this was. They looked down, away, anywhere they could but at me. They started their engines and fell in line with Vince waiting to leave. I could see Jay getting pissed off. Fearing he would take off without me I walked over to his outstretched arm taking the helmet from him.

I strapped up and swung my leg over the bike having to stand on my tip toes to do it. I tried to settle into the leather seat so my short skirt wouldn't hike up any further than it needed too. "Fuck" I exhaled out, mainly to myself.

Jay revved his engine and called back to me "Not yet babe. Save something for later" in the most smart ass way he could. I tried to balance myself so that I could keep my hands on the seat, away from Jay. He fell into his rightful place slightly offset behind Vince, as his vice-president and jerked on the breaks briefly causing me to crash my chest into his back. So much for trying to balance myself. "You know better... hold on" he gritted through the bandana tied to cover over his mouth as he rode.

I latched as tightly as I could around his waist and he chuckled triumphantly. "Asshole" I whispered into his ear.

He reached his hand down and adjusted my grip lower so it just grazed the growing bulge in his jeans. "Baby... I love when you talk dirty." The engines roared and throttles opened as we took off in a uniformed pattern out of the gates of the Slayer's compound and away from my new admirer 'Crotch'. I'm gonna kind of miss the bastard.

CHAPTER TWO

We rode down the highway and through down town Chisholm. It was nearing noon and folks were setting out to lunch. Children watched in awe as the bikers sped through, some women looked on in lust and men followed the bikes in envy. Mostly though, everyone looked on in respect at the MC that kept their town safe and if nothing else, at least an interesting place to live. We stopped at the intersection at the four corners in the heart of town and Jay nodded over to Vince. Vince raised his chin in recognition and drove on with the rest of the brother's in pursuit. Jay turned us onto North street and headed away from the rest of the guys, into the residential part of town.

After a few quick turns we finally pulled up into the drive of Jay's little cape style yellow house. He cut the engine and sat, waiting for me to dismount first so that he could follow. "Well?...." he gave out in frustration.

I swung my leg over nearly toppling down to the ground trying to get my footing with my platform wedges. Jay reached out instantly and grabbed hold of my arm to steady me as he swung off his bike gracefully. He looked down at my shoes and then slowly up my bare legs and then the oversized Kingsmen tee. I handed him back his helmet, awkwardly aware of my state of half dress. "What?.... I was at a Bachelorette party... what was I supposed to wear? A fucking burka?"

Jay grunted and grabbed his helmet placing the strap over the bike's handlebar. "I'm very aware of where you were last night Lil's. Now get in the damn house." He spat out with mild disgust.

"I didn't ask you for your help, Jay..."

He reached out and gently touched my chin moving it slightly so he could get a better look at the bruise forming on my cheek. "Yeah... looks like you were handling everything just fine sweetheart. In the house, now."

Amid my mild protests, Jay placed his hand on my lower back and guided, well, more like gently pushed me up the walk to the front door. He slid his keys out into the lock and pushed through the door with me just behind.

Jay dropped his keys into the bowl on the side table next to the door and kicked off his boots, setting them next to the bottom landing of the staircase. He took off his leather cut and draped it over the staircase railing before disappearing further into the house toward the kitchen. I looked around, taking stock of my surroundings. Not much has changed in the last two years. The living room was set up the same with a newer, larger TV on the wall opposite the couch that we spent countless hours on watching movies, fooling around and falling asleep.

I stepped forward searching down the hallway at the open doors. The master bedroom door was ajar and I could just make out the corner of the bed where Jay and I made love for the first time. The bed where I lost my virginity to my man. And it was also the bed where Jay has fucked countless women since, no doubt.

"LIL'S!!! What the fuck are you doin'? Waiting for the mailman? Get in here already" Jay called out from the kitchen. I slipped out of my wedges, instantly loosing the four extra inches of height they provided. I scooted them over next to Jay's boots and glided further into the house. I used to love the feeling of my bare feet on these worn wooden floors. Once upon a time it felt like home. I would always wake up earlier than Jay and make my way to the kitchen to start the coffeepot, tiptoeing down that hall quiet as could be not to disturb him. The smell of brewing caffeine would always wake him and lure him out of bed where he would find me in only his club t-shirt making us breakfast. Here I was barefoot, wearing his t-shirt and walking my way into the kitchen. De Ja Vu is a bitch.

I entered the cozy kitchen to find Jay had set out some sandwich fixin's and chips. He was talking into his cell phone, barely looking up at me as I pulled up a stool to the breakfast bar and sat down, either avoiding me or engrossed in his conversation. "Yeah... she's right here. Bring over the things she'll need later." Pause. No clues as to whom he's talking to. "Ma.... give me a break, ok... I said later. I'll text you." Bingo! He was talking to Jean. His mom. My second mom growing up. Was she coming here to see me? "Yeah. I'll tell her. Love you too. Bye."

Jay slid his phone into his pocket and handed me a turkey sandwich, barely looking up at me as I took it from him. "Ma says hi. She'll be here later to check in on you. Bring you some things." He stared at my legs. "Some decent clothes at least. Text her the things you'll need, any girlie stuff, you know."

I started to add on some tomato and mayo to my sandwich, completely starved. I hadn't eaten since yesterday. "Thanks... but I have a change of clothes in my car to head home in. I just need a lift to the bar to pick it up and I'll be on my way."

Jay opened the fridge and pulled out a beer and a bottled water. He kept the beer for himself and sat down across from me, nursing it slowly. "Yeah... about that. Change of plans Lil's. You are home."

I nearly choked on my sandwich and reached for the bottle of water to clear my throat. "What the hell are you talking about Jay? Chisholm hasn't been my home for a very long time...."

"What the fuck do think I'm talking about Lil's!? You think there are no consequences for last night? You think you can just sneak into town, dressed as a whore I might add, beat the ever loving shit out of Shade's ol' lady, and then take off? What the fuck goes through that pretty little head of your's sometimes?!" He was standing now, pissed off and roaring down at me.

Not one to be intimidated, I pushed up out of my chair and stood as tall as I could. All five feet three inches of me. Not much, I know, but it's what I have to work with. "First of all, I didn't sneak into town. Just because I don't alert the fucking media as to my social calendar doesn't mean I'm sneaking in. Second of all, it was a FUCKING BACHELORETTE PARTY!!! This is how you dress for that. Thirdly, I didn't know she was Shade's or anybody else's ol' lady for the record. She wasn't wearing a rag. She started shit with me first, I just finished it. We both know the bitch had it coming to her. It was long overdue." I swear I think I see his nostrils flaring.

He slammed his beer down on the counter, with a loud echo. I'm surprised the bottle didn't break. "Well she is his ol' lady. And now she's in the E.R., Lil's. She needs emergency surgery. They're flying in a goddamned plastic surgeon, for Christ's sake!!!"

"The bitch needed a nose job anyway...." I tried to joke, settle the tone down a little bit.

Jay reached over to me and grabbed hold of my arms. "I SWEAR!!! Do you not get it?! If you had been anybody else, you'd be on your knees right now in their clubhouse being passed around for all of them to take a turn. You'd be paying this debt off on your back, princess."

I swallowed hard. I knew what could have happened. But the fact the this man was going to try to get off as my knight in shining armor right now was starting to piss me off. I shook loose of his grip, and shot back "What's really got you worked up Jay? The fact that I came back here and didn't have the decency to schedule a reunion with you, or the fact that I messed up your pretty little whore?"

He looked blindsided, stunned almost. Didn't last long though. He's got the reflexes of a fucking cat. He walked towards me causing me to step backwards trying to maintain some space. "What the fuck did you say to me?"

I crashed into the empty wall behind me, but Jay kept on coming my way "You heard me. Your whore. Tell me, how long did you wait, hmmm? A day? A full week before you plowed your way through any available pussy you could find?"

Jay was right on top of me now. A full ten inches taller and a hell of a lot bigger than me. "You left me, remember baby? Who and when I fuck is none of your god damned business after that!"

"Oh really?! Well what about before, then? Is that any of my business? I saw her you asshole! I saw her leaving your room at the clubhouse. And you paid her you son of a bitch! A god damned whore! I guess free pussy at home wasn't enough for you, hmm?" I spat out trying to hold my ground against his towering form.

He furrowed his brow and shook his head. "What the fuck are you talking about Lil's? Baby I've never had to pay for pussy. Never will either. You saw nothing... you're full of shit. You ran baby for your own fucking reasons. Don't try to pin it on me."

Furious, I pushed my weight against him trying to gain some space. "I'm full of shit? The day before I left I saw Shannon, the chick from the tattoo parlor leaving your room at the clubhouse. You were pulling your pants back up you jackass and you had no shirt on. You paid her a wad of cash and kissed her while saying ‘Thank you Darlin'.... Don't you dare say I'm full of shit. It's etched in my fucking memory like a fucking scar!"

Jay started to laugh at me while backing away. "Holy shit. That's why you left? That's why you ripped my heart out? You left in the middle of the fucking night! Like a fucking coward! You left me, you left your pops and Tiny... Your ma!!! Everyone who loves you! All because of what you THINK you saw?! Did it ever occur to you to ask me? To trust me? To have a little faith in me? I promised I would never fuck around on you. I swore it. You didn't even have the fucking decency to give me the benefit of the doubt!"

The buckling sound broke my trance and I shot my eyes down to where he was taking his belt off and unbuttoning his jeans. I stepped behind the counter looking for some bit of protection. What the hell was he doing? "I'll show you what you think you saw baby girl..."

"Jay, don't..." I pled to him. His eyes were stone cold. My Jay was gone, I had no idea who this was. His jeans slid down followed by his boxers. I backed into the corner preparing myself to fight him off with everything I had. I looked down at his growing erection. He lifted his shirt to expose the flesh right above his pubic bone. There were black letters showing with a swirling design around them.

"LOOK!!" he bellowed. "Look at what you think you saw! She gave me a tattoo. A fucking tat! I had her make a house call to the clubhouse so I wouldn't have to have my dick flyin' around for everyone to see in the middle of fucking tattoo parlor! I paid her for the TATTOO! Not for a piece of her ass!"

I looked at the beautiful words emblazoned on Jays inner hip, Just below where his underwear band would be. The words My Lil' One were written out in cursive with a vine of thorns and roses around it. I gasped at the Tat, looking up at Jay. His eyes were still full of rage. What the fuck had I done? I looked back down at the artwork and swallowed hard as my eyes shifted over a few inches to his beautiful dick. It was huge, growing firmer by the minute. He was mad as I've ever seen him but the fury was also doing other things to his body. He pulled his pants up around his hips and left them there, not bothering to button them closed.

Moving towards me, he started again, this time his voice had an eerie calm to it. "Let me tell you how this is gonna work... You went after an ol' lady. Not just any ol' lady but the bitch of the leader of the one club that wants to take us out. The only thing that saved your ass was the fact that one ol' lady can't be touched for going after another ol' lady in self defense."

I tried to register what Jay was saying to me, grateful that he wasn't yelling this at me. "But.... I'm not an ol' lady...."

His face contorted into a grin. "The hell you aren't. You're mine. You said the words yourself.. I claimed you then and there. You may have never gone through with getting the tat or wearing my rag because your pops made me promise to wait until you were older but that don't change shit. You were my ol' lady. And you left. So this is how it's going down baby girl. I fucking stepped up and threw down to get you out of the shit you got yourself into. I saved your ass from becoming a human dumpster for those assholes and saved the club from having to go to war to retaliate for your ass. It cost me a pretty penny, too. Don't think you come cheap, baby 'cause you sure don't. Cost me a hundred grand to Shade to pay off the Docs and meds for his ol' lady plus a bit for pain and suffering. You owe me. And I intend to collect every last penny."

Jay's words hit like cannon balls. One after another. "I... I.. I don't have that kind of money..." I felt the need to state the obvious. I was finishing my third year of college. No way my tips from the measly bartending job I had was going to cover a like this.

He looked down over me once and then again tightening is lips. "I'm not looking for your money, baby. You'll pay it off in trade. You swore to be my girl, my ol' lady. You tried to bail on that. Well, that don't fuckin' work for me anymore. As long as you have my protection they can't touch you. As long as I'm kept happy and content I may feel obliged to offer you that protection. Remember, I'm your patch holder princess. You're my property. Always have been, always will be. You're gonna be my ol' lady in every way. And do it with a smile on your face and a thank you after I'm done. I was everything you needed me to be and it wasn't enough for you. So I'm not going to treat you with kid gloves this time. You're a grown woman, enough to walk out on your man and break your word. Then you're old enough to deal with the consequences of your actions. You did this. That hot little temper of your's got the best of you and you thought you could just storm through and nothing would ever happen to you. Maybe next time you'll think before you fly off the handle without knowing the facts. Could save you a hell of a lot of trouble in life, babe."

I stood stunned. Shell shocked and unable to move. But, he wasn't done yet. "You're a big girl now Lil's.. You make your own decision. I'm not forcing you to do shit. I'm simply telling you how its gonna be if you choose to stay. You can walk out that door same as you walked in. You don't want to be my ol 'lady then go... go be free and I hope they don't catch up with you right away. We took a vote on this. Club’s on board. You leave here, you leave me and you start a war. No way are they gonna stand around and let those fuckin' bastards do what they planned on doin' to you without retaliating. So now you know everything involved. Give me your answer."

Time stood still. It simply paused. I thought about my brother, my pop my uncle's and everyone who loved me. Everyone who I'd abandoned two years ago and still stood up for me today. I thought of what might happen to them if I made another selfish decision. I thought of Jay, my Jay who tried his best to be everything I needed him to be. The boy who promised me things and turns out never broke his word. I thought of the man in front of me now. The man I'd hurt and abandoned because of my own insecurities and how he still risked it all for me.

"I'll stay.... I'll be yours."

"O.K. then." Jay spoke very slowly. I'm not quite sure he expected the answer I gave him. "Finish up your sandwich and then take a shower. I have some calls to make." He walked past me and left me standing in the middle of the kitchen. Something deep down inside me felt different. Not exactly broken, but not like before. I felt shame.

******

After what seemed like a long time reflecting about how I had gotten where I was, I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen and headed toward the bathroom to shower the stink of bar room brawl off of me. Hopefully the lingering scents of embarrassment, fear, and shock would wash away also. As I passed the open basement door, I took a peek down but not enough to be seen. The music was turned way up and I heard the clashing of weights from below. Jay had a full size gym down there. Part of his man cave. As long as I've known him, he's always blown off steam by lifting weights. It explains why the man is built the way he is. He's got more muscles than a goddamned professional wrestler. I was probably the motivation behind most of them.

I entered the bedroom we once shared. The place where we had our most private moments. The place where he held me as I cried when my grandma died, the place where we laughed until it hurt and he made me call out his name in passion. I ran my fingers along the dresser that was once mine, the oiled wood smooth under my fingertips. Opening the top drawer, I'm not sure what I was expecting. I rummaged through some of my old underwear and pajamas. He hadn't emptied my drawers. They were exactly as I had left them. My hand felt something cold and hard at the bottom. I pulled it out and stared at the picture frame. It was my prom picture. Jay and I looked so happy. So in love, so untouched by shit. I remember the faculty nearly died when we showed up. I had turned eighteen just weeks before and so legally they couldn't bar us from attending despite our age difference. That was also the night I gave him my virginity. He was so gentle and so loving. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. I reached around for any other pictures hidden away in the depths. I found one of us on his bike and one standing in front of this house the day Jay closed. I was still living at home with pops but Jay always told me he bought the house for me. As soon I was older and finished with college, pop said he would give us his blessing for me to move in with the unspoken understanding that it would be done the right way. I would wear his patch and even his ring if he asked.

So many memories flooded over me. Memories that I had pushed deep down below those of the tattoo girl and what I was sure was something it turns out it wasn't. I put all of the picture frames back on top of the dresser. I stripped down, throwing my clothes in a pile on the floor, letting my hair loose from its clip and made my way into the bathroom to take a long shower.

Jay had the bathroom redone shortly after he moved in. It had a large stand up shower with a built in seat and we each had our own shower head. Knowing how much I liked to take baths, he found an old claw foot soaking tub at an estate sale. He and Tiny hauled the thing in themselves nearly breaking the door in the process. I turned the shower water up hot and got in drowning my problems in lather. Hearing the bathroom door open behind me, I turned to see.

The steam was rising as a barrier hiding his shape until he opened the shower door and stepped in. He was all sweaty from his weights, and glistened. His muscles bulged from their recent strain. I looked over him, comparing what I found to what I remembered. There were a few more tattoos than I recall. They were all so beautiful. Jay had a thing for intricate, almost gothic body art. Not just your usual skulls, guns and thorns that adorned most bikers. His Tats all had meaning, all were well planned out and I was by his side when he got many of them. I brought myself to lower my gaze to the tattoo near his hip. My tattoo. My Lil' One. It was quickly dwarfed by his growing penis. Jay must have seen my attention peak as he walked over to me.

He was close enough to press his full length against mine. The heat from the water now paled in comparison to that from his own body. He grazed his mouth on my shoulders, my throat as he grabbed my ass and pushed me even closer in to him. His dick was now pressed into my belly dropping low and grazing the entrance between my legs. He squeezed my ass and then smacked it, leaving a vibrating sting behind. I gasped for air mainly in shock. He'd never spanked me before. As I whimpered out in surprise he plunged his mouth into mine, assaulting my lips, sparring with my tongue. I felt my arms go limp. His hands kneading my back cheeks were the only things holding me upright.

"Mmmmmm... Baby I'm going to take you just like this, right in here... Turn around." I looked to him in confusion. He briefly kissed me deep again before tearing away and letting loose a low guttural growl. "I said turn around.." He smacked my ass again, slightly harder in the same spot as before.

I obeyed him and turned around with my back facing him. He kissed between my shoulder blades, nipping at my neck before he lightly and carefully pushed my arms forward to brace myself against the tile wall. "Baby... You look so fuckin' hot right now.... I've dreamt of taking you like this.... Standing still just for me... Waiting for me to give it to you.."

Turning my neck around I wanted to try and see his gorgeous eyes, his chiseled face as he turned me on like this. Jay blocked me with his body placing my hands back up on the wall as if I were about to be strip searched or frisked. "Stay put baby.... You move before I tell you to and I'll have to think of a punishment..."

Ummmm... he was pushing me further and further past any limits I thought I had. I wanted this man to touch me, to fill me. He continued to kiss my neck and I could feel his hands moving up and down behind me, stroking his length, pressing it against my ass cheeks and up and down the cleft between. "Is this what you want baby... hmmm? You want me to give this to you like I used to? Like you used to beg me to?"

I was about to explode listening to his voice, feeling him so close to me. "Jay.... I.... umm...."

He used his legs to spread mine further apart, rubbing his dick up and down my heat as he teased me applying pressure into the most sensitive areas. I could feel the tip tracing around my opening, sliding around in my slickness. "Baby... you're so wet for me... you want it bad...."

Jay was right. I did want it bad. My head was spinning. It had been so long since I had been with a man. And it was never like this. Even with Jay, it was never quite like this. This was hotter. "Wait!.. Jay... I'm not on anything... please.... wait...."

I gave him reason to pause. He entwined his fingers in a few of my long waves of hair and twisted slightly pulling my head back toward him and his mouth. "I fuck you where I want and when I want, Baby... you're mine. Maybe I'll make you want it so bad you'll beg for it first." He let go of my hair and pulled my ass out further to him elongating my back out like a stretching cat. Dropping to his knees he plunged his face into me, kissing and licking me from front to back as I moaned louder and louder, thrashing my head back. From down below I could hear him moaning into me taking pleasure in how he made me react. Slipping his hand down, he slowly slid his long finger into me, deep until it had no further left to give. "God Baby... you are so damn tight.... we're gonna have to work this out a little bit before you're ready for me, hmm?..."

My breathing had since turned to panting, unable to gasp enough air into my lungs. Jay kept entering me and trying to widen me by moving his finger in circles, stretching me. His fingertips made their way to my nub and gently pressed and tugged and flicked as his whole finger thrusts grew faster and stronger. I felt an explosion growing deep in me, where Jay was reaching inside. My muscles tensing and tightening around him, pulsating with the engorging of all my sensitive tissues. "Baby.... you’re so close.. I can feel it.. I can taste it...are you ready to come for me baby?..."

His tongue was assaulting my opening twirling around where he was exploring with his thrusting finger. "Yes... yes... Jay I need to... Please. Don't... stop..."

My words triggered Jay to release his mouth, while using his arm to spread me even further apart and in one precious moment he slid two fingers in and used his mouth to latch on to my front apex sucking the life out of me and into him. "NOW! Baby come for me now..."

"JAY...." I exploded into convulsions with everything I had escaping me. Jay slowed his finger thrusting and released his mouth from my nub while I settled into the aftershocks of my orgasm. My legs shook slightly as I gained my bearings. That was the most powerful eruption I have ever had.

Jay stood behind me and collected me around into his arms. He picked up my fallen chin "Baby... that was amazing... you are so beautiful..." He kissed me sweetly and tenderly as I recovered. The seconds passed, growing into minutes as he kissed me deep, tasting of my juices. The scent of my need for him turned me on. I broke our kiss and hung my head low steadying my breathing. He supported my body weight against him and rubbed my lower back, my hips. "Easy baby.... shhhh...let it ride...."

After regaining my composure, I sheepishly raised by head to this sexy man. Slightly embarrassed, I could feel my cheeks flush. He chuckled lightly and kissed me tenderly on the lips. "Jay... that was... amazing" He smiled at me and slapped my ass one more time, lighter than before. I rested my forehead against his chin and sighed with contentment. Maybe this wasn't the worst fucking day of my life after all?

CHAPTER THREE

Jean stopped by shortly after we toweled ourselves dry. She barged through the front door dropping several shopping bags on the floor by her feet. "LILS! Where the hell are ya?..." She called out into the main rooms of the house. Tucking a towel around myself securely I reached her in the main hall as she slowly wandered around searching for me.

Running into her arms, I nestled into her comfort and finally let myself release the stress and fear built inside from last night. "Ma..." I had called Jean that since before I could remember, as she was closer to me than my own mother. "I'm so sorry.... I was so stupid." Jean soothed me by making calming sounds and smoothing my wet hair.

There was a small crack in her voice as she finally addressed me, confident that my emotional state had settled some. "Sweetheart.. you're safe now. You're home where you belong." She pulled back from me holding me out at arms length to inspect me.

Taking in the bruised cheek and the circles under my eyes, she was assessing the extent of my condition. "You look like shit Lil's. You need sleep and food, and family....you've been gone way to long baby girl." I noticed her voice harden with the last few words. This woman had practically raised me, caring for me when my own parents fell short. After mom and pop split things kind changed at home. Jean stepped up and took me under her wing, treating me like the daughter she never had. I could see the pain in her eyes as she searched into mine, searched to find the little girl she once loved so much. My name even came from Jean. My own mother had named me Julia after my pop' s mom, but the first time Jean saw me she started calling me "Lil' one". It shortened over the years to Lil's, and most knew me be no other name. I had abandoned this woman, just as I has left Jay behind. Crushing pressure started to build in my chest as she looked into me. Guilt.

Blinking back any trace of sadness, Jean perked up and forced a smile. "Well, what's done is done. You're home now.. no use fussing over shit you can't change. I brought you some new clothes to get you by until your things get here. You need anything else not in here, you tell Jay or me... My boy will take good care of you while you're here." She stated matter of factly. Raising her chin, she called out behind me, amplifying her words to the footsteps coming toward us. "WON'T HE…?"

It wasn't so much a question as it was a warning to Jay's sudden appearance near us. Jay was a bad ass but his mama still knew how to keep him in check. He had managed to towel most of his chin length hair dry, the rest hanging slightly dampened and loose around his ears. Clean jeans had been put on, and he was fumbling with a folded black t-shirt as he walked past us, his bare chest rippling with large muscled and colored artwork. "Yeah ma.. she's in good hands. Thanks for bringing this stuff by." He pecked his mom's cheek while pushing his arms through the sleeves of the shirt. "Help Lil's get settled and then make sure she catches some sleep. I'll be back late tonight. Any problems, you call my cell. Two prospects are keeping an eye outside. You scream like a fuckin' banshee if you need them, otherwise they'll leave you both to your girl stuff." He managed to get all this out while lacing up his boots.

"Wait." I interjected, feeling as I should have at least some input as to what I was and wasn't going to be doing for the rest of the day, even though his orders were pretty much on par with what I was set on doing with my afternoon. "Where are you going?... I'm just supposed to stay here while you go out? Maybe I have things to do?.."

Jay stood up tall passing his leather cut over his shoulders. He pecked Jean once more on the cheek and then stepped closer to me. "Maybe now you don't?... You step out of this house while I'm gone, consider it an end to our agreement. I told you to stay here with ma, you stay here with ma. Don't ask me where I'm going. It's club business. If I wanted you to know, I would have told you. Now..." He trailed his fingers across the top of my towel. "Cute as this is... I don't think it would be practical to wear on the back of my bike. So get your clothes taken care of with ma, and get some fuckin' sleep." He was terse and stern and nothing like the sweet Jay that I had just been ravaged by in the shower. I hated being told what to do, and he very fucking well knew it. I could tell he was getting off on his newfound leverage over me.

He winked his eye at me and smirked waiting for my usual smart ass reply. Now I had more than a few ready and waiting to fly off my tongue, but I held it. I wasn't in a position to piss him off any more than I already had. Satisfied with my apparent show of obedience he smiled and patted me on the ass mockingly as he turned to head out. "Good girl..."

The next couple of hours were filled with updates, and gossip from Jean. I felt like I was being given an abridged summary of all that I had missed while I was gone. We unpacked my new clothes and straightened a few drawers for my things. Every once in a while Jean would just hug me and tell me again how glad she was that I was home again.

I learned that Jay had been very busy while I was gone. He lived, breathed, and slept for the club. He made more runs than any other member and was busy proving himself over and over to all of them. It wasn't easy being Vince's son and he had to more than make up for it. When he was voted in as V.P. last year he made damned well sure that everyone felt he had earned it on his own merit, not his genetics. Because he spent so much time on runs or at the clubhouse, Jean helped to take care of the house for him. She helped with the laundry, the cleaning and the shopping. Jay was her only child and she was a great mom to him. I had always been secretly jealous of the bond they shared. Not as a girlfriend jealous of her influence over her son, but as a daughter with no mom of her own to care for me the same. That was probably why I was so drawn to Jean when I was a kid. She oozed motherly affection and unconditional love. Don't get me wrong. If she caught you doing something you weren't supposed to be, I can guarantee you wouldn't be doing it a second time. She came down like a ton of bricks when she had to.

It was nice to feel this motherly love again, unaware of how much I had truly been missing it. When we had exhausted all topics of conversation and hugged more than enough times to make up for the lack of them during my absence, I found that I could barely keep my eyes open as she lulled me to sleep with her soothing voice.

*******

The deep vibrations of a motorcycle engine cause me to throw my eyes open wide. How long had I been asleep? I was curled up in Jay's bed groggy from being jolted from a deep dream. Straining my neck off the pillow I could see the bright neon block numbers of the alarm clock on the bedside table. 12:18.

The living room lights flashed on, down the hallway. I could hear Jay and his mom talking in hushed voices, the sound of keys clinking together and finally the front door closing. The bedroom lit up with artificial yellow light as Jean's car headlights flashed through the windows before disappearing. It was amazing how sensitive your hearing could be heightened when you were laying in the dark waiting for someone. There were thuds of his boots dropping onto the wood floor, the clanking of the fridge door opening and closing quickly and then footsteps approaching.

I clamp my eyes shut, and try to regulate my breathing as much as I can to appear even and deep. There are the soft sounds of fabric dropping next to the bed one after another, before the mattress finally sinks down next me. Jay reaches out to me and pulls me back to his bare chest, nuzzling into my hair. "I know you’re not sleeping baby... but you sure are cute when you pretend to be." His hands slide under my t-shirt and graze over my stomach, rubbing and massaging as they roam upward.

My bra proves to be a poor barrier as his hands slip under and into it, cupping my breasts and kneading them as his hips follow suit against my backside, his growing member pulsing slightly into me. My body betrays me, buckling under the strain of pretense as I try to swallow my moans of pleasure.

In a sense of victory, Jay nips by ear lobe before suckling lightly on it. "Mmmmm.. there's my girl." His left hand plunges down between my legs and past the thin protection of my panties. Gliding his fingers through my lady lips he strokes me back and forth while burrowing his boxer covered dick into the small of my back from behind. "Time to wake up sleeping beauty and welcome me home, hmmm?"

My teeth clench onto the nearby pillowcase and I grip for dear life as Jay's fingers play me expertly. He is kneading my boob while tugging lightly at and rolling my taught nipple between his fingertips. Down below, he is sliding deeper down while stroking, entering his fingers into my opening while pressing his palm firmly onto my clit. The friction causing my already swollen tissues to throb in need.

I manage to call out through my gritted teeth. "Jay...mmmm"

"NO!" Jay pulls me from the safety of my pillow, to face him while flat on my back. "You call me baby when I'm fucking you." My eyes meet his as his lust clouds over and darkens his baby blue eyes slightly. His onslaught to my lower half is unrelenting. There is so much wetness that his fingers are gliding effortlessly into me and then out to cover my nub before pushing in again. They plunged deeper and hooked around towards my front, clambering to push into the secret spot Jay knew all so well.

He found it, and I could sense the knot of pressure building, building, and then exploding as my toes curled and by neck arched up, leaving me to scream out "God! Oh my god!" His fingers paused, allowing my contracting walls to settle before withdrawing them. Raising his drenched hand up he traced my quivering mouth with his pointer finger, covering me with my own moistness before licking my lips with the tip of his tongue.

"You taste so good baby girl..." His tongue punched through my slightly parted lips and thrusted in my mouth digging deep. He pulled back just enough to let his words escape. "Get on your hands and knees."

I barely registered the full weight of the order before he was helping me up and tugging at my last remaining clothes adding them to his own pile. He pushed my shoulders down and settled in behind me, kissing the small of my back trailing warmth over my skin. My moans were unrestrained, hitching every time his dick would graze my opening.

Jay reached around and slid a pillow under me while pressing me further down with his body weight until my rear was tilted up perfectly for him. He sat straight up, abandoning his kisses and pressed himself against me. I could feel his dick twitch slightly when it made impact against my leg. Using his knee he widened the space between my thighs by pushing my legs further apart. I screamed pleasure deep into my pillow awaiting what was to happen next.

"This was always your favorite, wasn't it baby?.. Me behind you, deeper and deeper into you until you can't take it anymore." Jay's hands now gripped my hips gaining their footing for what was going to come. "You have such a beautiful ass, baby... I've always wanted you to give me your ass..."

I was dripping down my leg and onto the sheets, my desire and my need overflowing from within me. Jay's finger tips massaged into my skin, with his thumb trailing its own way to cover the opening to my anus. I clenched together as he started to massage small circles into that delicate skin, applying a growing amount of pressure.

We had never done this before, I wasn't sure if I was able to let him although his thumb was giving me intense longing to try. "Mmmm... baby... this is mine. One day soon you're going to beg me to give it to you here.. But for now.." he slid his cock right over the opening to my pussy, "I want to hear you scream out how deep you want it.."

My hands clenched into fists trying to hold in my need. The tip of his dick swirled in my wetness, lubing itself. The nerve endings in my folds were on high alert, waiting to feel the pleasure I so desperately wanted. I wanted him deep in me pushing his way to my next explosion. I called out to him "Deep baby... I need it deep." Breathlessly, I waited.

Mmmm! He plunged deep into me with one thrust bottoming out. He held himself still while I cried out in pleasure as he filled the deepest part of me with his throbbing manhood. Ever so slowly, he started to withdraw his length out of me, hitting every delectable nerve along the way out. I could feel the sweat start to prickle the top layer of skin of my back. When at last just the head was inside of me he gripped my hips strong and, WHAM!, pushed himself right back into me.

I cried out as I came around his shaft. My body shuddered and convulsed as my orgasm took over, leaving me floating, hovering near the edge of myself. Jay massaged my hips and then my thighs as I quieted down from my immense outburst. His fingertips swirled over the indented area right above the cleft of my ass cheeks. "Right here... right here is where I want you to get my ink... " He began to rock his length in and out of me as he played with the patch of skin, which was now covered in gooseflesh from my now heightened nerve endings. "Right here where I can see it every time I make you come, deep inside.."

His thrusting became more methodical, increasing in both speed and depth. Tension was building up inside of me again. The rising pressure of my growing arousal no doubt clenching on Jay as he pushed himself into me again and again. I lifted my head back over my shoulder to see him in all his glory, pushing and pumping, delivering to me what I needed. He smiled at me mischievously and growled as his neck stretched back. I needed more. I used my body weight to push back into him as he met me with his next thrust.

His eyes shot open at my actions and he broke out into a huge grin. I didn't think it was possible for him to add anymore strength behind his maneuvering but he mustered up some hidden reserve of power and pushed me past every barrier there was into the strongest orgasm of my life. Pulling my arms back together, causing me to stand tall on my bended knees, he pressed his mouth into mine collecting my orgasm screams into his kiss as we came at the same time, filling me with his seed.

We supported each other with our bodies, aware that the other would collapse if we moved. His dick started to settle and return to size as he slowly withdrew himself, causing me to unconsciously hiss at the sensation. I was beyond raw, and that last bit of friction was gloriously painful in its own right. I fell back into the mattress as Jay stumbled to the bathroom, where he rinsed his battered member off. Crawling back to bed, he pulled me close to him with one arm while pulling the comforter to cover us with the other.

Face to face, we stared into each other, with many unspoken words between us. He kissed my forehead for what seemed like forever, wrapping me in his arms as I purred contentedly into his chest. He chuckled and squeezed me tight. "Baby.. that was mind blowing.. but I don't think you're going to be able to walk tomorrow." Maybe not, but it was definitely worth it.

CHAPTER FOUR

SUNDAY

The bacon sizzling in the pan in front of me popped as a small amount of grease splattered out toward me. I jumped back, narrowly avoiding direct contact with the hot projectile. "Crap.." I mumbled as I turned off the flame and looked down at my arms to make sure I hadn't been splattered.

"You know there is a splash guard for that pan..." Jay walked through the kitchen making his way next to me. Turning the tap to cold in the large farmers sink near us, he took hold of my arm and ran it under the cool running water. "It's not much, I think you'll live." He smirked as I stuck my tongue out at him. "Mmmmm. I have plans for that tongue. But, first... feed me woman." He turned off the faucet, dried off my forearm and then kissed the small red area starting to form. "All better."

Jay was one of the most ruggedly handsome guys I had ever seen, even when fully clothed in his jeans and leather. But now, with him standing in front of me in nothing but his drawstring sleep pants tied low on his hips and his tan chiseled chest beckoning to me, I was certain he was the finest male specimen alive. I glanced down to check his waistband to see any hint of the now infamous tattoo. Nothing. His pants were low enough for me to trace the v shaped notch his muscles made near his groin and see the bluish line of a vein reaching to his dick but there was absolutely no sign of the tat. It was hidden, a secret, only for me to see. Well, maybe at first it was for only me to see but life took a turn where I'm sure countless bitches had their face right in it, staring, wondering what it meant.

I giggled slightly thinking of those poor girls bobbing their heads up and down staring at what was essentially my mark on him. Just as I was taking in the scrumptious view he turned away toward the coffee pot and poured himself a large cup. "Something funny baby?" he drawled in his sleepy morning voice as he slid over in the direction of the breakfast nook. The front view might have been fantastic but the back view was simply out of this world! His broad shoulders were like pillars on either side of him. Muscles flexing ever so slightly as his arms moved with his gait. The deep cleft trailing his spine was well cut and firm, covered by the large back tattoo that mirrored the patch on his leather cut. The word Kingsmen arched across his lower shoulders in bold gothic letters with a coat of arms and sword emblazoned dead center over his rib cage. Underneath the detailed artwork was the charter name Chisholm arching upward, just skimming the narrow part of his waist. That tattoo always made me drip for him. Even now I could feel the liquid pool down low ready to escape my opening.

I crossed my legs and stood tall squirming just a little as the stinging set in. I was raw, chaffed and swollen from last night and the slight acidity of my liquid was not the most comfortable feeling filling into those places. Jay sat and took a long sip of his morning drink while scrutinizing me, as I stood trying to balance myself. "Is it that bad?.... did I hurt you?"

I smiled to him, "I'll be fine. Nothing that hasn't happened before." Before I could even finish my words I realized just how they must sound to him. His eyes narrowed and turned hard.

"Is that so?..." He hissed.

I uncrossed my legs and fumbled over the the cupboard, turning my reddening cheeks away from him. "You should know... you were always the one doing it to me." I explained as I withdrew a plate and filled it with scrambled eggs and bacon from the pan before setting it in front of him. I could see his shoulders relax and lower slightly, accepting my words for what they were... the truth. No other guy even came close to making my body feel the way Jay always could.

He picked up his fork and stabbed in to the eggs. "Good... give you something to remind yourself of me while I'm gone...

I added some bacon to my own plate and sat across from him. "You're leaving?.. when?" I fiddled with my food pretending to not be overly interested in his plans.

Jay sipped on his coffee while eyeing me. "Don't try to miss me too much.. Leaving in a couple of hours to make a run to Virginia. Couple of stops along the way.. nothing too crazy. I'll be gone at least ten days." He had started to bite into his bacon. "Give you time to settle in, get your shit set up with school. Plenty of time to recover from last night before I get back" he smirked at me. A jolt surged straight down to my groin. Ouch. I need to try to stop doing that.

"About that...." I let out. "I tried to tell you in the shower. I'm not on anything.... we didn't use anything last night, Jay. I thought you understood what I meant?" I dropped my fork down onto my plate with a small clinking sound, and searched for his explanation.

"Um hmm. I remember.." He took another bite of his bacon. "It was one time Lil's... I don't think we have anything to worry about. But if it makes you feel better, go to the Doc and get some birth control pills. Clink's ol' lady just got the shot. Maybe you could look into that. You're too forgetful for pills anyway." He chewed slowly, watching his plate.

I sat back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest, crushing my boobs. One of the biggest problems that big chested girls had was not being able to cross their arms comfortably. "I've never forgotten to take my pills. In all the time we were sleeping together I've never forgotten, asshole. Not once." I scowled back at him, pissed that he would even have the nerve to insinuate that I was irresponsible when it came to protection.

Apparently my fears were resonating with him, as he rested his elbows on the le and leaned forward to discuss the situation with me, actually engaging himself in the conversation. "Why the fuck aren't you on anything anyway Lil's? You like playing with fire up in that little college town of your's?"

Dumbfounded, I huffed and ground my teeth together at his douchbag accusation. "Not that I owe you a fucking explanation but I don't need to be on anything.... I haven't been with anyone in months. But even if I was on something..... you can still pass other shit around asshole. How do I know you're clean?"

Jay didn't seem to like the spotlight on his own sexual activity. He cleared his throat deep. "I'm clean baby... Other than you, before and now, I wrap my shit up tight." I rolled my eyes at him in the most obvious way I could manage. "Listen Lil's... You go get on something and I promise to use a condom until we're in the clear, O.K.?" He cocked his eyebrow at me waiting for me to agree.

I bit the inside of my cheek, contemplating. "Fine. I'll go to my doctor in River Rapids tomorrow when I go back to take my last final exam." I held my breath. Let's see if he takes the bait.

"We have Doctors here, you know. We don't live in a motherfucking third world country, Lil's." He shot back, drawing his imaginary line in the sand. I would need to play this very carefully... I knew Jay well enough to know that once he put his foot down, it wasn't easy to get him to back down. I had one last final to take, in my Abnormal Psychology class. It was worth 30% of my final grade. If I bailed on it, I would walk with a 'C' in the class. I busted my ass far too hard for a damn 'C'.

I pushed my crossed arms slightly to further plump up my boobs. At this point, a little eye candy could only help my cause. My voice dropped at least a couple of decibels. "Jay, I need my things. Not new things to replace them, but MY things. I need to take my final, give my boss an explanation face to face before just walking out on him, and take care of my lease. While I'm there, I'll stop in to see my Doctor and say goodbye to my girlfriends."

Jay was barely mulling over my valid points, so I felt the need to up the anty. "If I'm going to come back home, I need to finalize everything up at school so I'm in good standing to transfer to a school around here. You're not even going to be here, so this is the perfect time for me to get shit squared away. This way when you get home, I'll already be back and everything will be taken care off. I t's a no brainer." I should really think about switching my major from psychology to pre-law, so I could at least get some more use out of my debate skills. I could see him struggling to stay firm with his plan.

I pursed my lips tautly. Waiting. I didn't have to wait too long. "I would think that behaving yourself at a bachelorette party would also be a no-brainer." Crap! "But, fine you wanna go back for a couple days and take care of your shit, then do it. You have two days-max. You take Sunny with you, and I'm sending two prospects to clear out your apartment and keep an eye on you two."

Leaping out of my chair I ran to him and flung my arms around his neck settling in on his lap. It wasn't often that I used to be able to persuade this man to see my way on things when he had his mind set. This was definitely a victory. "OK! I'll call Sunny and set it up. It'll be great, give us girls a chance to really get to know each other. I'll be back before you know it." I was practically gitty. I was so afraid that I wouldn't have a chance to say goodbye to my friends before leaving River Rapids. I mean, by the time I got back to school if I was able to, they might not all be there.

Jay unlatched my hands from around his neck and held them between us. "Lil's. I'm serious. You keep a low profile and stay out of trouble. You don't go anywhere without a prospect and you check in with me. I call you and you don't answer, there's shit when you get home. You and Sunny take my truck and the boys will follow on their bikes. You let them do all of the lifting and moving. Get your records from school and your Doctor. No detours, no sidetracking."

I kissed his cheek and nodded profusely at all of his requirements, they weren't unreasonable. "Um hmm. I promise. There and back. I should go get ready and call Sunny." I went to leave the le as Jay held on clasping tighter around my hands, anchoring me to him.

"Are you forgetting something?" He asked, the mischief barely concealed in his voice. No way in hell was I about to thank anyone for giving me their 'permission' to go pack up my place. Apparently that isn't what he meant. "Your man is leaving on a run for a week and you don't want to give him a proper send off?" His breaths were deep, stretching his chest as he inhaled.

I wiggled my ass into his groin slightly, enjoying the small amount of torture I could use to fight back with. "Mmmmm.." I kissed him deep, tasting the mocha deep roast lingering on his warm breath. "Doctor first baby..."

He growled slightly into me. "Not necessarily...." grabbing my ass he dug my hips deeper into him. My eyes perked up in curiosity. He put his arms behind his head and leaned back. "Suck me hard baby girl".

Jay had the most beautiful penis I had ever seen. It wasn't like I had many to compare it to, but his blew every last one of them away. The shaft was long and thick, tilting up toward the end. There was a small notch right under the head that I had always used as a landmark when going down on him. It was one of the most sensitive areas, and I knew just the right way to press my tongue into it to make him lose himself. The head was the softest patch of skin I had ever felt and I used to love to run it over my lips. It felt like kissing a piece of satin. The vein stalking its way down the trunk always throbbed under my palms as I held him tight, moving his skin with me as I stroked him. I could never fit his entire length in my mouth, but knew just how to give attention to the rest of his dick while I attempted to anyway.

THEN

The first time I had ever gone down on Jay, I had no idea what I was doing. We were in the basement of his parents house watching a scary movie late one night. It was a weekend so Butch would always let me stay out later. We hadn't been dating long, maybe four months or so and the butterflies were definitely still there. I had become slightly more comfortable touching him, and I knew it drove him wild when I did.

We laid on his couch kissing and petting heavily. He always paid extra attention to my boobs. I had been blessed with a great rack, and he loved to show his appreciation. My hands had recently started to explore under his pants and I found that it was no longer intimidating to hold him. He had showed me how to touch him and caress him in a way that always seemed to make him whimper in tortured pain after I had been tending to him long enough.

That night, we had been following our usual pattern of touching and groping when suddenly he started to moan and shift himself not seeming to be able to get comfortable. I thought I was doing something wrong, so I told him I was sorry.

"Baby, you're not doing anything wrong. It just feels so good. I need to come... I can't wait much longer..." He unbuckled his belt to give my hand a bit more room.

Emboldened by his need for me, I looked dead set into his eyes and told him "Tell me how to make you come.."

He tensed, eyeing me, gauging my level of preparedness for what he was about to ask. "Touch me like you do, and kiss me there, like your licking an ice cream cone." His face showed no sign of embarrassment or shame in asking me to tend to him like this. It was only full of need. If he was confident in it, then I was sure that I could be confident in doing it to him. I swallowed hard. I knew what a blow job was. I had heard about it, talked with my friends about it and even seen it in random porn magazines that Tiny would leave littered around his bedroom when I would quickly enter to place his laundry on his bed. I could do this. He wanted me to, and more importantly, I wanted to do this for him.

Looking back, I must have been slightly clumsy with just the sheer newness of it all. Jay caressed my hair and my neck as he was panting, moaning "Baby, that's it... just like that..." I had managed to figure out a rhythm to my stroking that made it easier to slide his dick into my mouth without having to readjust my grip. When I needed to breathe more air in, I would pull him out completely and swirl the tip around my lips until I was fortified enough to bring him in again. He seemed to fucking love it when I did that.

I was really getting the hang of it when his shaft started to pulse a little faster. "Baby.. baby.. I'm gonna come.. let go... It's gonna come out now.." He strained and pulled himself out of my mouth, pumping himself while his eye lids closed shut and his body spasmed. His hand glistened with wetness and his shirt was now moist from the outpouring splashes. He dropped his head back, "Fuck.. that was incredible" he whispered. Sitting there between his legs I had no idea what to do next. Was it over? He was barely moving now. Was he hurt?

Not knowing what to do, I reached over and grabbed some extra napkins from next to the empty pizza box from earlier. I dabbed at and pressed his dick and hand trying to sop up some of the mess. It was slippery, and I couldn't seem to get it all up. Jay reached his arms through his shirt, pulling it off. "Shit baby, you don't have to do that. Let me..." He used his crumpled shirt to clean himself off before throwing it on the floor away from us. He pulled me up onto the couch besides him, and hung his limp arms around me. He kissed his lips against mine and then rested them on my forehead.

I needed to know if I had done it right. "Jay... was it ... o.k.?"

"Lil's, you have no idea how fucking 'O.K.' that was. You didn't even swallow and it was still hands down the best ever."

I backed my head away an inch and pitched my voice into a question "Wait, you mean I can swallow it?"

Jay chuckled and kissed my forehead again.

NOW

The dick in my hands was just as I remembered it. Each square inch was memorized in my mind. I know how it felt, how it tasted. I pushed the last bit of cotton down past his hips and down his leg. He managed to get the rest of it off by using his other foot to peel it past his heel. I spread his knees slowly using my fingernails to lightly trail up his inner thighs, opening themselves to me.

His penis stood fully erect bouncing slightly from the recent move to freedom from inside his sweats. I looked at it admiringly, twitching the corner of my mouth up in a mild smirk. “Hmmm. Baby, I don't know.. I might not remember how...”

Jay hitched out a laugh. "Hah! Yeah right. Baby, you were a fucking expert, but I could always give you a fresher course if you need it."

I glared at him smartly. I stretched my back forward practically on all fours, careful not to touch any part of him while making my way to his center. Using only the tip of my nose, I ran it up from the very base of his sack slowly to the tip of his very erect head. Lingering over his pink apex I started to blow a cool stream of air directly into him. I could hear him hiss from above me. I lifted my gaze to his face without moving my head, as it was perfectly aligned for what I was about to do. I raised my eyebrow, arching it high in a slightly evil way.

As slow as I could, I opened my mouth wide and curved my lips loosely over the edges of my teeth. His eyes were watching me intently, studying my moves without blinking. I lowered myself millimeter by millimeter taking his dick into my warm mouth more slowly than I even thought possible. His eyes widened further the more I took his cock in. As I reached the bottom of his throbbing shaft, I closed my eyes dreamily, and tilted my head just the tiniest bit to the side. I extended my tongue as softly as I could to cradle the underside of his length with and then forcefully moved myself up his erection just a bit faster than when I took him in.

"FUCK!..." Jay called out as I assaulted his favorite body part, barely reaching the head as my tongue swirled over and around the tip in my mouth. I could feel Jay's hips buck just a bit as I suckled on him gently, roaming my warm breath over his opening. I felt the beginning of his pre-cum start to seep out onto my tongue. His familiar musk flooded my senses giving me the driving force to step up my game. I clamped my lips down around him, sealing him in tight and then sucked in as hard as I could. Using my hands to balance myself, I looked once more at Jay's anguished face. Because it's never really a bad time to be bit of a bitch, I winked at him before I sent myself crashing down again, causing him to moan out loudly and breathlessly.

Every skill that Jay had taught me was used. Each little move deliberate and unrelenting as I touched, pulled, pushed and sucked my way into the deepest depths of Jay's need. He squirmed and whimpered and begged me as I unleashed myself fully to my task. Jay had known me as an innocent girl and helped me blossom to a passionate lover desperate to please her man. But this part of me was new to him, unfamiliar to him. This was a woman aching to please him because it pleased me more in doing it. Every fulfilling twinge he felt, I felt exponentially greater. His need was my need, and I would see to it that it was completely satisfied or die trying. I was impressed with my own stamina, considering how long it had been since I had done this.

Jay bit his lip and called out to me "Baby.. I'm gonna come.." He flew open his eyes and watched me continue the job at hand. His brow furrowed and pursed itself as he tried to pull his hips back away from me. I hadn't always finished to the end with Jay. He never made me feel like I had to accept his flow into my mouth. It depended on the moment. "Baby! I'm gonna come.." Well that was the point, wasn't it? He shook with each mini eruption that flowed from his manhood and trickled into my waiting warmth. He threw his hands deep into my chestnut waves and massaged my scalp as I set to task licking his juices clean off of him. When I was finished he bent down to kiss my lips deeply, breathing heavily. I stood up, into his kiss and then pulled my mouth to his ear. "Have a safe trip baby." I whispered huskily. Now that was a god damned send off.

CHAPTER FIVE

Tiny answered the phone on the second ring, breathless and panting.. "Yeah... what's up bro?".

"Ummm.. no. It's Lil's. Catch you at a bad time? Sunny there?" I could hear rustling on his end, as I pictured him jumping to his feet to match the sounds passing through the phone.

"Sis... you O.K.? Where's Jay?" He blurted out.

I realize that I had called him from Jay's home phone but really, what was all the excitement here? "Tiny, I'm fine. Jay's here. I need to ask Sunny a favor. She around?"

My brother held his breath, before answering. "Yeah... she's right under me. Can this wait a bit Lil's? We're kind of in the middle of saying goodbye..."

Ew. What the fuck? No way should Tiny be sharing this information with me. I could picture Sunny giggling below him. "You are a goddamned animal Tiny! I cannot believe you just said that to your own sister. Tell Sunny to call me back when you're done molesting her." I hung up the phone and stomped into the bathroom to shower, trying to shake the image from my head. I could hear Jay laughing from the kitchen.

After showering and dressing, I made my way out to the living room where Jay was hunched over the coffee le. The strong scent of artificial banana hit me as soon as I neared him. My stomach constricted and a lump drew in my throat. The locking and clicking sounds confirmed what I already knew to be true. Jay was cleaning his handgun. The gun cleaner and cotton balls spread over a few pieces of newspaper in front of him.

I had always hated when he cleaned his gun in front of me. I knew he carried, hell all the brothers did, but I didn't need a fucking in my face reminder of it. When I was a young kid before my folks split, ma would always make my dad maintain his pieces out in the garage. The intense banana smell of the cleaning fluid made her dizzy. I nervously sat down in the armchair across from him. "Goin' fishing?" I sad as sarcastically as I could.

Without looking up from his project, he cocked his head to the side, checking the barrel before releasing it with a loud snapping sound as it closed. "Something like that baby." He slid the clip of bullets into the handle and slammed it into the heal of his hand to ensure it was secure before standing and tucking it into his waistband, pulling his t-shirt over the area. Shrugging his shoulders up at my obvious disdain, he smiled. "Never too safe baby doll. Sunny called back when you were in the shower. She had to rearrange a few things and clear it by Tiny but she can go to River Rapids with you. I told her you'd pick her up in a few hours. Tiny gave her the same speech I gave you, so we're all on the same page. No need for miscommunication on either end. Two days. That's it." He scurried to crumple the dirtied newspaper and toss it in the wastebasket. "Prospects are out front. Give them a heads up when you're ready to head out. The truck's all cleaned out and gassed up..." He paused and looked directly while pointing his finger at me for emphasis. "And Lil's.. DO NOT change my radio stations to your damn girlie music."

I giggled. It took him almost a week to figure out how to change them back the last time I had done it. Served him right for spending an ungodly amount of money on that involved of a sound system. I could see that Jay had showered and packed a small duffel bag waiting by the door. "Come here..." he used his eyes to motion from me to in front of where he was standing. Jay reached into his back pocket and pulled out a thick letter sized envelope. As soon as I was in range he pulled me into him and placed the envelope between us, tapping it against my chest.

"This is for your little trip. There's enough in there to pay out your lease and take care of anything else you girls need up there. You need more, you tell the tall one, Blue, and he'll take care of it." When I didn't take the envelope from him he pulled out the bra shelf of my tank and slipped it in. I began to refuse the cash when he clipped my chin in between his fingers and held it firm "DO NOT give me any shit. You got your way.. quit while you're ahead Lil's."

I sighed and resigned myself to let him think I was going to take his money. Jay's other hand snaked behind me and cupped my ass deep, almost straight through between my legs and held firm. "Mmmmm... gonna miss that sweet pussy of yours." I clamped my thighs together holding his hands in a vice. Jay laughed. "If I wasn't gonna be late for church, I'd bend you over and smack your ass for being such a little cock tease."

Standing up onto my toes, I planted the sweetest little kiss on his lips, and then turned to whisper seductively near his ear. "Don't get yourself all hot and bothered baby... You've got a long ride ahead of you and I wouldn't want you to squirm the whole way thinking about little ol' me..." I squealed as he slapped my ass and then rubbed it rough.

Jay slammed his mouth onto mine and groaned down into my throat. He pulled away in a quick jerk, grabbed his duffle and stalked off in a huff. Before he closed the door behind him he called out "Two days", leaving me standing in the middle of the empty living room with a wad of cash between my tits and the need to change my panties.

******

Jay's truck roared to life as I threw my overnight bag into the back seat and fiddled with the buttons on the arm rest to bring my dangling feet closer to the pedals. The air conditioning blasted out at full speed helping to cool the warm leather interior as the navigation screen illuminated. Driving a truck this large would take some adjusting, as I was used to driving my little Toyota Prius. The oversized pickup truck was new enough to still have a lingering plastic smell in the double cab, and other than a half rolled pack of lifesavers in the change bin it was kept immaculate. Jay never did anything small. Not his bike, cars or least of all his temper. I needed to strain to see over the wheel comfortably.

I slowly rolled out of the driveway and checked oncoming traffic before turning out. The two prospects assigned to me for the trip were already geared to fall in line behind me. I had known Tommy, or T.J. as the boys called him from high school. He was a couple of years behind me and I had homeroom with his older sister Tara. The taller one, Jay had called him 'Blue', seemed nice enough but must be relatively new on the scene because I had never met him before.

My driving must have been as awkward as I feared, because the bikers stayed far enough behind me to benefit from whatever advanced warning my brake lights could provide. I headed over to the other side of town, where Tiny and Sunny lived. I liked Sunny very much but have only gotten to see her a couple of times when Tiny brought her with him to visit me at school. They had been together now for a little over a year. She was a few years older than me and had moved to town from Atlanta when she had inherited some old house from an uncle that passed on. After hooking up with my brother, he moved her into his place and they rented out her house to a sweet old couple.

My brother was nicknamed Tiny because he was the exact opposite. He was a linebacker in high school and weighed at least two hundred and fifty pounds of stocky muscle. He inherited pops thick dark brown hair along with me, and kept a year long tan. Sunny was the polar image of him. Unlike my brother's road name, she actually was tiny. She couldn't be more than five foot three and was as fair skinned as they came. Real peaches and cream type of complexion. Her light blonde hair was always perfectly cut and styled, with dark lowlights the last time I had seen. Sunny was a great hairdresser, and my brother had set her up with her own shop here in town. I glanced up at myself in the rear view mirror and shook out my own head to give it some volume, thinking that maybe she could spruce me up a little when we got back from our trip. I was a pretty low maintenance kind of gal, but it might be fun to let her experiment a little. I pulled up in front of Tiny's house and tapped the horn a bit. I didn't want to be rude but I thought it was safer this way than to try and park in the driveway only to have to back out again later.

T.J. and Blue pulled in behind me and dismounted. Sunny came strolling out of the garage teetering in her high heel sandals and pulling her wheeled Luis Vuitton carryall behind. She waved her hand behind her pointing her keys and the garage door closed automatically. The prospects met her toward the apron of the driveway and relieved her of her luggage, with T.J. heading toward the back cab to place it in the bed of the truck. Blue opened the passenger side door for Sunny and helped her make the climb in, closing the door behind her.

Sunny and I hugged and squealed together ready to start our adventure, when a set of knuckles rapping on her window drew our attention. Sunny lowered the window with her control switches and we both leaned over to Blue. He was tall enough to be on eye level with us even in our raised seats. "All righty ladies, we head straight to your apartment from here. You need to stop for anything, you send me a text and we'll pull over. Jay says to keep it under 60 or it might be too much for you to handle the breaks. We good?" he asked us both before nodding and tapping the the car door as he turned to his bike. "All right. Let's roll."

Sunny raised her window and we both kept a stoic face until we were sure Blue was well out of earshot before we burst out laughing. I put my best macho man impression on and lowered my voice to match his. I threw on my sunglasses "All righty ladies... we good? Let's roll." Sunny burst out into hysterics.

"That was soo good. Don't let him hear you do that though, I hear he's a real tight ass." My curiosity was peaked.

"He seems nice enough I guess. Say... why do they call him blue? He's got brown eyes." Sunny's hysterics returned and she needed to gasp several times before she could muster up a response.

"Well... I heard he gets off on girls giving him blue balls.. some twisted sadistic shit." I stared straight ahead, stunned at Sunny's explanation. All righty then.... I doubted I would ever be able to look at Blue the same again. I joined Sunny in her laughing and we headed north out of town.

*******

Chisolm wasn't much of a town compared to most and it didn't take us long at all to leave its borders behind. I took the main interstate that would lead us directly into River Rapids. My apartment building wasn't far from campus, with most of its tenants being students like myself. It was no Taj Mahal but it was clean and it was cheap. It came fully furnished, and the Super was always pretty good about fixing and repairing things. I had about seven months left on my yearly lease, and was praying that the landlord would let me break it without too much hassle. He should have no problem finding another tenant, especially with the kids staying around to take summer classes and all.

I had been able to save up a decent amount over the last two years. I received a scholarship for daughters of veterans, that covered all of my tuition and even some of my other expenses. I was damn lucky to find it too, otherwise I would be drowning in student loans like most of my friends would be one day. My paychecks and tips from tending bar at the brewery downtown covered my measly rent and car insurance. I had to cut some corners here and there but I lived pretty comfortably for a college junior.

Knowing Jay as well as I did, I was fairly confident that he wouldn't take a penny from me no matter how hard I tried to pay my own way. If I took the thirty five hundred dollars out of my savings account to cover my lease I should still be left with around six hundred or so, and I could pick up a job in Chisholm to help me build up my cash reserves again. I should probably stop by the bank on my way into town to withdraw the cash before they closed. I had Sunny text Blue that we needed to stop at the Bank of America branch on Main street for a minute.

Our little entourage pulled in the front lot of the bank, "Hang out here for a minute, I'll be right back." Sunny handed me my purse and I scooted out of the Truck. Blue lifted his sunglasses and gave me a quizzical look. I held out my hand to him gesturing 'one minute' and filed in to the brick building.

I completed a deposit slip at the main counter for thirty seven hundred dollars to give myself just a little extra cash to tide me over for a while. Waiting on line, I fumbled through my bag for my wallet to prepare for the teller. My license wasn't in its usual slot. Hmmm. I searched every other built in pocket and noticed that my debit card was missing too. I hadn't had to use either since before the whole bachelorette party incident, and started to panic that they had been stolen or left behind, when I found a piece of folded paper.

LIL'S- USE THE MONEY I GAVE YOU

Fuck. That son of a bitch set me up. The next available teller was calling out to me. I gave him a shy look, called out "I'm sorry, I forgot something...", and I stormed out of the bank crumpling the withdrawal slip as I walked. Blue perked up at my hasty exit, and I called out to him. "If you talk to Jay before I do, you tell him what an asshole he is for me!" Blue held up his hands as if he had nothing to do with whatever I was upset about.

I slammed the truck door behind me and threw my purse down next to me. "Everything alright, Lil's?" Sunny looked worried. I turned the engine on and bit on my lip.

"Perfect. Everything's fucking perfect." It took us no more than ten minutes to reach my building. Parking in my usual spot proved tricky with an automobile triple the size of what usually parked there, but I managed. T.J. and Blue carried our bags up to my third floor apartment. They also carried their sleeping rolls.

I set up Sunny in my bedroom with me. Blue and T.J. would have to crash in the living room. One lucky bastard would get the couch. I'll let them work that out between themselves. We all agreed on Italian for dinner and T.J. set out to pick up our phoned in order. Blue was a man of few words, but managed to discuss a plan of attack for packing up the apartment. With none of the furniture being mine, as the apartment came fully furnished, only my clothes, computer, TV, and cooking stuff would need to be packed. Sunny volunteered to pack up my personal stuff.

T.J. returned with dinner, beer, cardboard boxes and packing tape allowing us to finally set down to eat, as he gave me an update on Tara. She was married to some electrician and they lived just outside of town with their one and a half year old daughter. She was about five months pregnant with their second child. T.J. was the dutiful uncle and shared pics on his phone of the cute little girl playing with her dolls.

Wow... Tara was my age and she already had kids? That was crazy... I mean that would be like me.. FUCK. In all the excitement of the trip I had forgotten that I needed to stop in to see Dr. Foster tomorrow and get a prescription and a checkup. I suddenly felt very uneasy about the beer I was holding, setting it down and excusing myself to turn in early and get a good night’s sleep before my final exam tomorrow.

I washed up and brushed my teeth before changing in to some yoga pants and a t-shirt. Sunny hung out with the prospects watching some alien movie, and so I shut my bedroom door to keep out some of the noise. I grabbed my phone and checked my messages. There was a text from Jay.

JAY: SO APPARENTLY I'M AN ASSHOLE? MISS YOUR SWEET ASS.

Jerk. Not only does he force me to take his money but he's trying to make light of it. I type a reply that I know will piss him off.

ME: HEY BABY... I'M BACK IN TOWN. YOU BUSY LATER?...

OOPS. SORRY. WRONG PERSON.

I settled into my blankets with a cheshire grin, and closed my eyes. No sooner had I gotten comfortable did I hear the light ping of my phone. I tried to ignore it but curiosity eventually got the better of me.

JAY: NICE TRY BABY. STILL MISSING YOUR SWEET ASS

I wasn't overly tired yet, so I might as well entertain myself for a bit. I picked up my phone.

ME: GOOD. I HOPE YOU GET HARD THINKING ABOUT IT

JAY: OH BABY I'M HARD ALRIGHT

ME: HOPE YOU DON'T GET A SORE WRIST

JAY: MMM BABY IM RUBBING IT OUT RIGHT NOW

ME: YOU ARE NOT!

JAY: AM TOO… I CAN SEND A PIC TO PROVE IT IF U WANT

ME: PIG!

JAY: OK… NO PIC. HOW BOUT U SEND ME A PIC INSTEAD?

I thought about this for a minute. This might not be a bad idea. I got up to lock the door and then shimmied out of my pants and underwear. I quickly snapped a picture of my lady bits and hit send before dressing again and getting back in bed.

ME: YOU LIKE?

JAY: GOD BABY! YOU ACTUALLY SENT ME A PIC!

FUCKIN BEAUTIFUL...

MMM I WANT IN THAT TIGHT PUSSY

ME: YOU EVER HOPE TO SEE IT AGAIN

THEN YOU GIVE ME MY CARDS BACK

JAY: ALRIGHT ALIGHT I WILL..

YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN

GETTING LATE. WHY U UP?

ME: CUZ I HAVE A CRAZY MAN TEXTING ME :)

JAY: OH I'LL SHOW YOU CRAZY. :)

ME: U CRASHING FOR THE NIGHT?

JAY: YUP

WHAT TIME IS YOUR TEST TOMORROW?

ME: 9

JAY: GET SOME SLEEP

NEED TO BE ON YOUR GAME 2MORROW

ME: K

HOW BOUT U?

JAY: IN A BIT

STARTING OUT EARLY IN THE A.M.

ME: GETTING SLEEPY

JAY: CLOSE YOUR EYES BABY

THINK OF ME

ME: MAYBE :)

JAY: AND BABY..

THANKS FOR THE PIC

CHAPTER SIX

MONDAY

I was one of the first people to hand in my final exam and to exit the lecture hall. It wasn't anything too crazy. A short essay, some multiple choice and a case study. Piece of cake. I'll start checking online for the grading next week.

The student services building was not far from my testing site in the humanities quad. It was late morning and the campus had that carefree summer break vibe to it. Frisbee's being thrown across the lawn, bicycles zipping by and the occasional sunbather littered the grassy knolls between buildings. T.J. had been elected to accompany me around while I ran my errands, mainly because he was more age appropriate to blend into the college crowd. It probably would have helped if he left his leather cut at my place, but it seemed like blasphemy to even suggest it.

We made small talk and joked a little about some of the freakishly dressed people passing us by. He was ruggedly cute, and didn't yet radiate 'pissed of biker bad ass' yet. Give it time, I told myself.. After all Jay had once looked semi innocent. I noticed many of the girls checking T.J. out, some casually and others blatantly obvious. He was a nice guy... hopefully he finds himself a nice girl and doesn't get too swept up in the free club pussy hanging around back home.

I left him chatting up one of the Delta Tri Sigma girl's in the lobby of the student advisor department when I was called in to meet with a counselor. I explained that due to family needs, I would be moving home to Chisholm and would apply to several local colleges for the fall semester. I had to fill out some paperwork, mainly regarding my scholarship, was handed a manilla envelope with an unofficial transcript, and was officially un matriculated. The whole business took no more than forty minutes, but when I searched the lobby for J.T. he was nowhere to be found, Hmmm... that was odd. I didn't have his cell phone number or any other means to try and contact him.

The receptionist had not noticed him to help me find where he might have gone off to. However unlikely, he may have headed back to the apartment. Either way, I'm sure I would meet up with him at some point. It would be nice to have a little privacy for my next errand anyway.

I caught the next express campus bus to Main street, and headed over to the River Rapids women's health office. I had called in earlier this morning to schedule a quick appointment with my Doctor, and the receptionist had been very nice to squeeze me in. The wait times were usually not very long in this office, but I picked up the newest issue of US Weekly and prepared to get caught up on all the latest celebrity nonsense when my phone buzzed.

JAY: SO HOW DID THE TEST GO?

I hadn't expected to hear from Jay until tonight. I knew they didn't stop too often when making a run.

ME: PRETTY GOOD

WON'T FIND OUT 4 A WHILE

JAY: I'M SURE YOU ACED IT

I HAPPEN TO KNOW FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THAT

U R A QUICK LEARNER AND AN EXCELLENT STUDENT

ME: OH REALLY?

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

JAY: I SEEM TO REMEMBER YOU PLAYING THE

SCHOOL GIRL AND ME BEING THE TEACHER

Flashbacks of Halloween three years ago flooded over me. I had dressed up as a naughty little co-ed, a la early Britney Spears, and Jay had found a nerdy professor costume. I blushed and instinctively tilted my cell so no one could read my incriminating phone screen. Jay had given me some private tutoring lessons that night, mainly on the primal mating habits of mammals and the male anatomy.

As I was trying to think of a witty comeback, a middle aged woman in grey scrubs called out to the row of chairs. "Julia? Julia Kaegan?"

I tossed my magazine back onto side le and set to follow her back to the exam rooms.

ME: GOTTA GO

The exam room was very sterile looking, and smelled of hand sanitizer and latex. I followed the nurse's instructions and changed into the paper examining gown with the opening tied at the front and sat on the stiff exam le waiting for the knock at the door that was soon to follow.

The knock was light, with Dr. Foster and the nurse closing the door behind them as they entered. The Doctor was beautiful, in a middle aged academia sort of way, and greeted me warmly. "Hi Julia, how's everything feeling this morning, hmm?" She glanced over my chart and began to scribble some notes in pen.

"Hi Dr. Foster, thanks for seeing me on such short notice." The doctor simply nodded as I greeted her, with her eyes buried in my manilla file folder, so I continued. "I'm actually here for a prescription of birth control pills."

Doctor Foster clicked her pen and closed my chart placing it on the counter, turning to me. "I see... It's good to see young women taking responsibility for their bodies. Tell me Julia, have you been on birth control in the past? Do you know the benefits and drawbacks to the pill? There are other options available such as the patch, the Nuvaring, and even a tiny implant in the underside of the arm."

I nodded, taking in all of Doctor Foster's suggestions. "I've been on the pill before. It worked well, I just didn't have a need for it so I stopped taking it about six months ago."

The doctor sat down in her rolling stool and sat before me gloving up. "Lie down sweetie.. let's check things out and get you set up with a prescription." I reclined down to hear the crinkle of the paper barrier beneath me as I shimmied down on the le and placed my legs in the stirrups. I felt something cold enter me and the pressure from the expanding of her metal instrument. "Julia, I must tell you that although birth control pills are almost 100% effective when taken correctly they do not protect against the transmission of sexually transmitted infection. Back up birth control such as condoms should always be used to prevent those."

I was now being poked and prodded from the inside out and felt a dull soreness left over from Jay's own internal maneuvering the other day. Embarrassed, I felt the need to explain. "You see... my boyfriend and I were wanting to use protection. But, we did have a slight unexpected accident the other night." The nurse handed her a large Q-tip looking stick and plastic vile. After a small amount of discomfort and swabbing, the vile was sealed, cotton stick tossed into the garbage pail along with the Doctor's gloves and she stood up casually.

"Julia, if there was unprotected internal ejaculation I cannot rule out a pregnancy. Any clinical signs would most likely not be detectable this early. A blood test would determine any hormonal changes indicative of early pregnancy in about a week or so." Dr. Foster now walked around to my side and began a breast tissue exam while continuing her well rehearsed speech. "I can write you a prescription for birth control pills to be taken on the first day of your next period, if there is a next period. If you have any increasing symptoms such as nausea, extreme breast tenderness, or a positive pregnancy test before then, disregard the prescription and set up an appointment for your first prenatal visit. I can also give you a prescription for some pre-natal vitamins to start taking. If you are not pregnant, they won't do any harm. If you are, they can only be beneficial, especially when taken as early as possible."

Completing my exam, she jotted a few more notes down in my chart and filled out two sheets of her white prescription pad. "The chances of conceiving after one incident at this point in your cycle are not very high but it is possible. Make sure to use condoms now through the second week of your pack of pills, to avoid any other exposures while you may be fertile. Here are the scripts" she handed me the sheets of paper, "Do you have any other questions?"

I took the papers and lowered my eyes from hers, concentrating on the floral design embossed on my exam dress. "Ummm. Actually, I was wondering what my options would be to help ensure that I don't miss my next period... I mean... isn't there something I could do this early on, just in case?"

Dr. Foster set her pad and pen down on the counter and took a seat on her rolling chair again. "I see... Well, if the intercourse was the other night as you mentioned, you may still be able to take Plan B, or the morning after pill. It can be effective if taken within seventy two hours of unprotected sex to prevent implantation of a fertilized egg. If that is the route you would like to go, you can purchase it over the counter from the pharmacy when you fill your birth control prescription. As a medical professional, I cannot advocate one choice over another. It needs to be a well thought out decision. I can give you some literature on it to read through. Please call me with any concerns or questions you may have."

I nodded to her. "Thank you Doctor. I'll think about it. Guess i'm good to go?" I stood up and headed over towards my pile of clothes on the padded chair in the corner.

Doctor Foster and the nurse headed out the door. "Have a great summer Julia. We'll hear from you soon."

******

The local pharmacy was two doors down from the medical building. I was relieved that there were not many customers in the counter area when it was my turn to speak with the pharmacist. I dropped off my prescriptions and told the woman that I would also like to purchase the Plan B. She typed some notes into her computer and told me to return in an hour.

Having at least sixty minutes to myself, I decided I would kill some time by calling some local friends to meet up for a farewell night out. Most of them travelled home for the summers anyway, but they didn't know yet that I wouldn't be back in the fall.

I pulled my phone from my purse and gasped at the amount of text messages flooding my screen.

UNKNOWN: HI LILS... ITS T.J.

UR IN UR MEETING AND SOME GIRL WANTS

TO SHOW ME AROUND A BIT WHILE UR IN THERE.

TEXT ME WHEN U GET OUT.

Shit. So that's where J.T. went.

UNKNOWN: LILS… U STILL IN MEETING?

ITS BEEN AWHILE...

I quickly scrolled through the majority of the texts.

UNKNOWN: LILS.. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME

IF I DONT HEAR FROM U IM GONNA HAVE

TO CALL JAY.. HE'S GONNA FLIP HIS SHIT IF I

DO THAT. PLEASE PLEASE TEXT ME!!!

I checked the time stamp on the last text. It was sent two minutes ago. Fuck! What if I was too late? I quickly sent a reply text to the number on the screen.

ME: HEY T.J. DIDN'T GET TEXTS TILL NOW

I had to wait barely a moment before I got a response

UNKNOWN: THANK GOD! JUST DIALING JAY..

WHERE THE FUCK R U?

ME: RAN ERRANDS. I'M AT THE DRUG STORE ON

MAIN STREET WAITING ON MEDS

UNKNOWN: STAY THERE

I'M ON MY WAY

Hopefully I got to him in time before he called Blue or Jay. I sat down on the stone bench and took a deep breath. That was close. The last thing I needed was a pissed off Jay breathing down my neck right now. Looking for a distraction from the last bit of craziness, I dialed and held the phone to my ear.

"Hey Julia! Where you been" The call answered on the third ring.

Emily was my roommate from sophomore year, when I transferred here. She was a real sweetheart and we've become close friends. "Em, I just got back last night... stayed a little longer than I planned on, catching up with people."

I heard a gasp on the far end of the phone "Wait... catching up with who? You saw him didn't you!" Hmmm. Let me think about how to answer this. Technically I did see him, all of him.

"It's a long story Em. Let's meet later at the Drunken Co-Ed before everyone heads out. I've got a friend with me from back home.. I want to show her a little bit of town before she leaves."

Emily knew everything about Jay and I. She had seen me at the rawest point fresh after I had left him to move here and start a new life. She had handed me the tissues when I was bawling my eyes out over him, talked me down from giving in and calling him on more than one occasion and eventually acted as my wingman when I was on the rebound. There was a short time where I was rebounding just a bit too hard and Emily had helped to give me a guy intervention before things got out of hand.

"You did!!!! I knew you would. Eventually anyway. I want to know everything." Emily was a loyal friend but she was also a sappy romantic at heart. She always played devils advocate when it came to Jay. She had never met him but had fallen in enviable lust with his picture and declared that 'no man that fine should ever be walked away from' at least a few dozen times.

I smiled in to the phone. "Emily... I'll fill you in, I promise. Meet me at the Co-Ed at nine. Do me a favor? Call Jessica too. S he didn't answer before and I've got a ton of crap to do."

Her deflating tone was almost as funny as her teenage style boy frenzy. "All right, all right. Nine. But I want details. And pictures if you have them, but lots and lots of details." We ended the call just in time for me to greet the motorcycle rider pulling up to a screeching halt in front of me.

"Holy crap that was fast.... be careful T.J., this place is crawling with ticket friendly campus police that would just love to lock your ass up." I barely had time to stand to my feet before T.J. had dismounted and shaken out his helmet confined hair.

He stood tall but I noticed that he was flushed. I also noticed the lipstick around his neckline and that his t-shirt was on inside out. "Lil's why the fuck did you run off? I could have caught so much fuckin’ shit from Jay over this. Thank god it was nothing. Please, please, please don't tell anyone about this. I really don't need them jumping all over my ass because I lost sight of you."

The poor guy was visibly upset. I could understand why, too. I remember when Jay and Tiny were prospecting. They had fucked up on more than one occasion and been raked over the coals for it. I know it’s part of the process and kind of a right of passage but I liked T.J. and I didn't want to see him fall out of the good graces of the club for something that may or may not have been my fault.

I smiled. "Don't mention it. It'll be our little secret. So tell me, how was your first sorority girl? She live up to her reputation?" I joked with him. I had never seen such obvious display of post coital disarray before.

T.J. laughed. "Who said she was my FIRST sorority girl?, but damn I think I like college."

I rolled my eyes. He had definitely lived up to the Kingsmen standard. "I can't even.." I made an over the top gagging impression. "Let me go check and see if my order is ready. I'll be back in a minute."

The Pharmacist had my little white bag ready on the shelf when It became my turn at the register. He scanned a barcode, and I paid the man the $68.43 that he asked for, taking my sack of meds.

T.J. saw that I was carrying a medium sized bag and began fumbling to open the side saddle of his bike. He reached out to take the paper package from me, as I nervously grasped on to it. He wasn't expecting such resistance, so when he pulled the bag, it tore apart and the contents spilled onto the concrete beneath us.

I practically threw myself down to pick up the items before he could get to them, but damn, the boy had quick reflexes and beat me. He absent mindedly picked up the bottle of pre-natal vitamins and held them out to me with one hand while his other picked up the colored packaged that was very clearly labeled 'PLAN B".

FUCK. T.J. looked at the medications briefly before registering the meaning of what he held, when his eyes shot up to mine. "Lil's..... "

I grabbed my things back from him and added a slight coldness to my voice. "If you don't want Jay to find out that you were too busy fucking a cheerleader in a short skirt to keep an eye on your mark, you'll keep your mouth shut about this T.J."

He swallowed hard and handed me back the items in question.

******

Sunny had almost everything of mine packed and labeled in cardboard boxes when we got back to the apartment. T.J. was keeping a small distance between us, undoubtably scared form my earlier threat. But, he managed to smile genuinely at me whenever I caught his glance in passing. He had always been polite to me, but I noticed a slight uptick in his chivalry over the course of the afternoon. He took every opportunity had could to open a door, offer to get me a drink, open a window, close a window, or turn on the air conditioner.

At this rate, either my little secret was going to be uncovered or he was going to get his ass beat from the guys thinking he was a little too sweet on another club members girl. I would need to talk to him and get him to turn it down ten notches before anyone noticed.

Blue ran out and got us some sandwiches from the corner store while we finished the packing. Taking our lunch outside to the porch area we sat down and took a meal break. Sunny set out an old blanket for us and we basked in the mid afternoon daylight enjoying our subs and discussing the lack of fashion sense that college girls were showing these days. Sunny, being the fashionista that she was, noticed that all of my neighbors had barely combed their hair and were still wearing sweats at three in the afternoon.

Looking down at myself self consciously, I wondered where she thought I fit in with the girls I was surrounding myself with. I had on dark stretch capris and a tank top. My hair was piled high in a pony and I had put on just the basic amount of makeup before slipping out to my exam this morning..a little bit of blush, some mascara and tinted lip balm. I didn't want to tell Sunny that this was actually a slight step up from my usual weekday attire.

Blue sat down in the lawn chair near us, and took a bite of his lunch. "I know what you mean Sun... Do they actually think a man is going to look twice at them like this? I mean don't get me wrong... I'd lay pipe with any one of them but doesn't mean I wanna look at them twice while I'm doing it."

We laughed. T.J. came through the sliding doors with an arm full of his own lunch, a bag of nacho chips and three opened beers with a bottle of water. He handed Sunny her beer first, then gave his brother the next while setting the last one down next to his own chair. Blue grabbed the bag of chips as T.J. loosened his grip on it to reach over to me and handed me the bottle of water. He smiled to me as I looked to him in shock. Beginning to bend down to sit he caught himself as if he remembered something. Reaching into his pocket he drew out a small apple and tossed it to me.

Sunny and Blue stared confusingly at the guy like he had two heads. She was hardly finished chewing what was in her mouth "You trying to tell her she's fat, T.J. or what?"

I closed my eyes as he nervously squirmed to get comfortable in the cushioned chair. He took a small sip of his beer to mask any signs of discomfort, but I could still see them. "What?.. Nahhh. Lil's just doesn't strike me as the junk food kind of girl. Hell, she could even stand to gain a few pounds."

I needed to change the topic fast, create a distraction. I swallowed my sip of water. "And look at their hair Sunny... no decent salons around here. The girls let it go until they can get home to have it taken care of. I was thinking you could take a s at mine when we get back. You know, nothing too drastic, maybe shorter, some color... I don't know. What do you think."

Sunny practically lit up, dropping her sandwich onto her plate in excitement. "I have some brand new color that I've been dying to try.. We'll cut it on an angle shorter in the back, and..."

Blue threw a chip in his open mouth and added "Hold on there... you might want to think about that before you do it. You're ol' man is anything like me, he likes it longer."

Sunny and I looked at each other and then back to Blue waiting for the rest of his sentence to help make sense of his comment. He didn't seem like the type to have a hair preference or anything, just so long as it was on a willing female.

He took another sip of his beer and sat back a little. Noticing our attention, he acted surprised. "What?... you know... reigns."

I rolled my eyes just as Sunny let out a mock sigh. "You're all pigs." We laughed. I rolled my sandwich wrapper and napkin together and sat back, resting on my arms behind me, stretching out soaking in some vitamin D.

"Just wait until tonight... you'll see these girls turn into runway models. No use wasting perfectly good makeup and clothes on classes, you know. We'll head downtown around eight and grab some dinner before we meet up with some of my friends for a drink."

Sunny loved my suggestion, and nodded enthusiastically. Blue shrugged his shoulders "Whatever... so long as you clear it by Jay first, I don't see why not. Might as well find me a sweet piece of ass to make my trip memorable."

T.J. chimed in from his corner seat. "I don't know... It's been a long day. You know, maybe we'll call it an early night, yeah?" Blue just tilted his chin down staring at his friend, lowering his sunglasses just a bit to get a better look at him.

"You O.K. there brother? You get hit on the fucking head or something? Since when do you turn down grade A college age pussy?"

T.J. seemed to realize how odd he was acting, especially in front of another club member. He straightened his shoulders and took one last swig of his drink. "Brother, I'm just recovering from the blonde sophomore riding me like a goddamned pogo stick while Lil's was in her meeting." He shifted his crotch with his hand for emphasis before adding "Need to get me some rest before I go looking for round two, you know what I mean?"

Blue looked satisfied with T.J.'s explanation and stood up collecting the trash from his meal. He took my handful of crumpled wrapper and nodded, "You make sure Jay knows your going for a night out and we're good to go, Lil's."

"I'd better crash a bit then, before we head out. Lil's you should probably do the same.. with bein' up early today and all, yeah?" T.J. called out as he followed Blue in the building. Sunny scrunched her forehead quizzically. Damn, this kid was about as sharp as a fucking rock. At this rate he'll be cutting up my food for me and tucking me in soon.

CHAPTER SEVEN

The late afternoon sunlight was flooding through my westward bedroom windows. Despite my lack of enthusiasm for T.J.'s veiled recommendation, I actually was tired. The last few days have been such a whirlwind of unexpected life changes that my mind has barely been able to keep up.

Slipping out of my sandals, I closed my curtains to the daylight outside and slipped under the covers for a little bit of rest. Sunny had shared the queen size bed last night, and I wasn't quite sure if she would be following my lead in catching a nap. I slid over to one side and left her plenty of space in case she decided to come in while I was sleeping. I fiddled with my phone and checked for missed calls or voicemails. None. Disappointment flashed briefly, before my fingers mindlessly selected a contact number in my directory and pressed on it.

The phone rang several times before it was directed to a generic voicemail prompt. Sighing, I ended the call and switched to the text message screen. Emily's text messages were brought up and I added a message.

ME: DID U SPEAK TO JESS?

I yawned, and stretched out my legs.

EMILY: HEY! YUP. JESS WILL B THERE

BOBBY TOO

9 PM

Bobby was Jessica's gay best friend. I had met him one night in the ladies bathroom at a pub downtown. Jessica was crying because some guy had stood her up, and Bobby was consoling her while trying to prevent any more damage to her eye makeup. I could barely keep from laughing like a damn hyena watching her whimper about how he could have been the love her life, while Bobby was dabbing at her eyes with a paper towel and trying to steady an eye pencil to touch up at the same time. There was some kind of analogy about not needing Mr. Right, but instead, looking for the Mr. Right Now that was going to rock her fucking world that night and she couldn't be scaring him away with raccoon eyes.

I had known Jessica from a few classes and thought it only polite to hand over my powder compact, not sure how it would be received. I was after all eavesdropping. Bobby took it graciously and even commented on how it was just the right shade for my complexion. We spruced Jessica up and all headed back out to the bar together. Jessica found a random hookup within minutes and left Bobby and I together to spend the rest of the night buying each other rounds of shots. Every girl should have a gay guy friend, they give the best blow job tips.

My phone buzzed abruptly with an incoming call. Jay's picture from my contacts flashed on the screen. I rolled over onto my side and slid the phone to my ear while accepting the call. "Hey baby.. I didn't think you'd be able to call back for awhile."

The reception wasn't fantastic but almost all of his words came through. "We just stopped to gas up and grab a bite. What's up princess?"

His voice soothed me like a lullaby as I lay there, the room darkening ever so slowly around me. "Not much. Thought I'd check in on you guys and see how things were going. You busy?" I closed my eyes and tried to picture Jay in front of me, speaking to me in person rather than who knows how many miles away.

I could hear Jay exhale into to receiver. "Baby you know I could never be too busy to talk to you. Just ordering some burgers while your brother takes a leak. You O.K.? Sound a bit blah."

My feet were flexing and pointing, trying to rid my body of the building pressure that his voice was igniting. "I'm O.K. I guess. Just a bit.. I don't know.. Lonely."

"I see.... How lonely?" Jay's voice dropped an octave and took on a raspiness that I knew meant he was definitely now giving me his undivided attention. "Tell me Lil's."

My legs were now slowly moving about trying to settle into a comfortable position. "Hmmm. Well let’s just say that I'm not so sore anymore... but I want to be."

Jay started to grumble deeply. "Lil's.. you're killing me. Baby I want to feel you so bad right now. When I get home I'm gonna show you how much. Can you wait till then? Keep yourself busy... get your stuff done so you can come home and get settled. That'll take your mind off it."

My hips circled in reflex to the sound of him. This was torture. "If I have to." I licked my lips imagining us all snuggled into his bed, making up for lost time.

Jay called out to Tiny in the background to tell him he needed another minute. "Baby you're giving me a hard on and unless your brother wants to see me take care of myself here and now I need you to talk me down."

I laughed, picturing Tiny waiting outside a bathroom door for Jay, unaware of how his best friend was rubbing one out thinking of the guy’s little sister. "Alright, alright. I'm almost finished packing. We're gonna head downtown in a little while to grab some dinner and meet up with some friends to say goodbye."

"Sounds like a fun time... any guys you need to say good bye to?" The hidden message trailing below his words was not lost to me.

Jay was in no way homophobic, he just didn't associate with too many people outside of the club, and last I checked the Kingsmen had no gay brothers. "It should be fun. No guys that I know of other than Bobby, he's my gusband."

I could hear the pause on the other end "Your what? Did you say gusband?

"Yup.. my gay husband. I can't wait to introduce him to Sunny... they have the same fashion sense. It's gonna be epic" I explained. Even bikers should be up to date with the latest terminology.

Jay laughed "I can't wait to tell Tiny... Text me when you get home and behave yourself. You don't have a great track record when it comes to bars lately, you know."

Oh here we go.. I rolled my eyes "You send one measly bimbo to the E.R. and you never live it down, jeesh."

"Alright there slugger.. Just do yourself a favor and play nice. I'm already one hundred grand deep. At this rate your gonna bleed me dry." Jay could barely keep his voice serious.

I clicked my tongue in mock disgust. "Hey, I thought we were bartering here, hmm? Pretty sure I paid off at least a grand the other night."

Flashbacks of Jay holding my hips firmly in front of him while filling me deep, made me shutter. He must have sensed my need as he moaned briefly. "Baby you're worth every penny. Why don't you spend the next few days thinking of ways to knock your down some more when I get home."

So much for trying to change the topic. "Oh, I already know how to pay it off. Already planning your homecoming. Bobby's gonna give me some tips, you know."

"Well that sounds promising. Your brother's about to eat my food, I gotta go babe. Text me when you get home, kay?" We both stood quiet, not sure what we were waiting for the other to say.

Wanting to end the awkward silence, I whispered "I will. You be safe" before ending the call. I brought up a picture of Jay on my phone and held it close to my heart as I closed my eyes and drifted into sleep, searching for a piece of him in my memories.

THEN

The cool night air brushing past me quickened as Jay squeezed on the accelerator. I had grown comfortable on the back of his bike by now, but when he sped up I instinctively held tighter to him. The sun was hanging low in the sky, adding a purple haze backdrop to the landscape around us. I remember as a child when my dad would take off on his bike to 'clear his head' thinking it just another excuse to bolt for a while. I had never truly grasped the calming effect that a long ride can have on a person.

The fresh air entering my lungs was cleansing me. The speed we were gaining underneath us was exhilarating. The crispness around us sends a little chill through me. If not for my little fitted jacket I would be freezing, but the English leather was keeping the whipping wind from my skin.

Jay had given me the jacket a few nights before, on my eighteenth birthday. Butch had made him promise not to offer me his rag until I was finished with school... and that meant college, too. Jay had made the best of his options and given me that jacket instead. It looked innocent enough, with its smooth grain and fitted seams. My name was embroidered on the wrist in script. However, hidden on the inside below the neckline were a few more words embroidered into the lining where most eyes would never fall. JAY'S LIL ONE.

I felt so proud to wear his jacket, my man's jacket. Even if it was to remain unspoken to everyone else. I rested my cheek onto Jay's shoulder and breathed in his scent. The leather of his cut was so familiar to me now. I wiggled my way up a few small inches to be as close as I possibly could, pressing myself into him. Jay moved one of his hands and rested it on my outer thigh, squeezing firmly while expertly steering our course with the other.

The steady vibrations coming from the motor lulled me into a dreamlike state, completely content. I had been Jay's girl now for a little over a year and this man had everything . When we were close like this, I could just block out the rest of the world and pretend that we were the only two people that mattered. Jay slowed the bike gradually as we turned off the main road and onto a gravel side street.

I raised my chin slightly under his ear, "Is this it?"

Jay had found some secret little place on one of his last runs for the M.C., andI had been looking forward to this night all week. He had promised that it would take my breath away and with each passing night I grew more anxious. I was just wrapping up my senior year of high school and things were stressful to say the least. My mom had made it very clear that she didn't have much to give me in the way of financial help for college next fall. Pops had gotten into some pretty involved battery and assault charges a couple months back and had been away serving some time. I didn't have the heart to take a dime from him, knowing that he was going to need everything he had to pay his fines and support his household while he was away. Tiny had just bought his house across town and was doing extra runs with the M.C. to make ends meet.

Jay had told me not to worry about tuition. He had offered to pay the entire thing and was actually pretty pissed off when I refused. It had caused our first big blow up fight. No way could I let him or the club pay for school. I wasn't naive... I knew that almost everything Tiny and I had growing up from the roof over our heads to the clothes on our back came indirectly from the club. Dad wasn't the most ambitious person.. he fell short more times than not when it came to child support and financial obligations. I had taken enough charity growing up that I felt the need to draw a line when it came to college.

That's why I had been ecstatic when I received notification that I had been selected to receive a full ride scholarship to any state school I chose, from an association that provided merit based tuition assistance to children of veterans who served during operation Desert Storm. Dad had inadvertently come through for me. Not only did it make the difference of whether or not I would be going to college, but it also gave me a legitimate reason not to take Jay's money. He did however insist that if I wasn't going to let him pay for tuition, than at least he was going to pay my living expenses while I was in school so that I wouldn't have to bust my ass working part time and then trying to find the time to study on top of spending time with him. My living expenses were pretty low and Jay already paid for most of them so I didn't see the harm in agreeing. I babysat most of the kids of the club members pretty regularly and that added enough money in my pocket where I wouldn't have to ask Jay for much.

We pulled the bike up into a clearing and parked it under a large overgrown tree. I got off first, setting my riding boots down on the sandy ground while Jay killed the engine and followed. Leaving our helmets on the bike, he pulled me close and kissed me tenderly before grabbing my hand and leading me down a path. "Come on, there's just enough light left to really take it all in."

The path was winding but well worn climbing up into a large hillside. This secret little place of his was obviously know by more than a few others. When we reached the top, I was only slightly out of breath but still managed to gasp at the view in front of us.

We were high up top of a large platform-like cliff overlooking a valley. I know it couldn't be Chisholm that we were seeing, having driven more than an hour to get here, but whatever town this was that we were peering over was picturesquely breathtaking. The tiny little homes were methodically mapped out around the curving streets. The water tower and church steeple raised high, as if protecting this private little sanctuary.

Jay stood behind me, and I leaned back into him, resting my body against his. He wrapped his arms around me tightly nuzzling the top of my head. I whispered my awe "It's beautiful. It's like a perfect little picture."

"Mmmm... It is. But wait a few minutes. It gets better." To most, his voice would sound normal but I had learned to read the subtly behind it during the course of our time together. I could tell when he was nervous, mad, aroused and plain old pissed of at me... plenty of practice on that last one. Tonight, his voice sounded like a well veiled open nerve. It's not something I had gotten to experience often but it was usually pretty serious when I did.

Moments passed slowly as he held me, tight and secure enough where I felt completely safe and protected. It was also tight enough against him so that I felt the growing mass between his legs.

The sky darkened around us to a maroon covering, and in an instant all of the lights in the town lit. It was amazing! The streets were mapped out in little yellow dots navigating their way around this little piece of Americana. The sun began to set slowly at first, inching it's way down the horizon before being swallowed by unseen forces below the tree line. I hitched my breathing in awe at the divine scene taking place.

"I love you."

I turned quickly to face Jay, and stare at the beautiful mouth speaking these words to me. "I love you Lil's. I know you know it, but I need to say it to you. I need you to hear it, to feel it, to see me saying it to you."

I tried to swallow but my throat failed me. My mouth was drying, my heart racing. Jay had made me feel special, wanted, cared for. He even made me feel loved, but in all these months he had never said the words. He had alluded to it, beating around the bush but never told me straight out how he felt.

He held his hands up to my head, cupping it in between, eyes searching over mine. "Lils.."

"I.. I love you too."

He smiled, caressing my cheek with his thumb, lowering his lips to mine, gently imploring my lips to respond. His kiss deepened and took hold of me. I felt like I was being lifted high, flying above this sleepy little town climbing to heaven. I needed this man, wanted him for myself, in this moment and always. An urgency grew between us and a passionate frenzy took hold. He guided me blindly to a tree and pressed me against it, as I moaned out to him.

He paused, grasping for words. "I need you baby... I can't wait anymore"

I gulped hard. I knew this was going to happen eventually. Jay had been as patient and understanding as he could manage with me, teaching me and sharing things with me.. but I hadn't been able to give myself completely to him yet. I had been scared, afraid that I wouldn't measure up to the many before me. Hearing him say what he just said to me though, I knew I was ready to be with him in every sense of the word. I had been smart about what I knew was going to happen sooner or later. I had gotten myself down to the women's clinic and started birth control a few months back. I knew I didn't want Jay and I to end up like my mom and pop, unexpected young parents forced to stick it out for the sake of the kids as long as we could. I wanted better for us, for our love story to have a happy ending.

I pulled off his leather cut and tossed it gently to the side. "I need you more"

We started pulling frantically at each other’s clothes in between deep mind crushing kisses and deliberate touching. I began to fumble with Jay's belt as he balanced his weight on his arms pinning me to the tree. "You sure Lil's?.. I mean you sure you’re ready?"

I pulled his jeans down and buried my mouth in the crook of his neck kissing and licking a trail to his panting mouth. "Make love to me..please".

In one quick move he hoisted me up guiding my legs to grab on, circling around his hips. He began kneading at my breasts, milking them with his mouth. I arched my back against the warm bark waiting for him when the moment was shattered.

Jay pulled his head back and stared, shocked as we listened to the phone ringing from the pile of clothes on the ground. It was pain in his eyes as he wrestled with the decision. "FUCK.. Baby I'm sorry. It could be important."

He gently placed me down and reached over searching for his phone, glancing at me apologetically. Finding his cell he quickly placed it up to his ear, "Yeah, man this better be fucking good.."

I felt exposed out here in the wild, and covered myself with my tank top, waiting. Jay's eyes widened. "Shit. Where?... OK... anybody else?... Where is he now?... She's here with me.. I'll bring her there."

Jay slammed the phone into his pocket and called out to me. "Get dressed.. We got to head back." I stood still, not sure of what just happened. Had I done something wrong, had he changed his mind? I began to tremble, tears starting to well behind my eyes. Jay finished dressing came over to me holding my shoulders "Baby.. I need you to listen to me now, OK. Something's happened. We need to get back, get to the hospital. Tiny's been shot."

CHAPTER EIGHT

NOW

Sunny and I blasted the music booming from the docking station as we pranced around the bedroom, shimmying into our shoes and putting the final touches on our outfits. She had gotten a bit of a head start on my hair makeover, and I couldn't stop glancing at my reflection in the full length mirror, impressed with my new look. My lack of hair savvy aside, Sunny was gracious enough to at least let me select my own clothes. I didn't have much to choose from with almost all of my things being packed, but was impressed with what I was able to pull together.

My black leggings hugged me in just the right way, adding a bit more curve where I needed and lifted my butt enough for it to stand to attention. I wrapped myself in a purple sheer chiffon camisole and paired it with a pair of stacked ankle booties. It was a bit racy, sure but I looked like a freakin’ nun compared to Sunny’s micro mini dress and stripper heels. I had heard once or twice that one of the benefits to having breast implants was that you didn't need to wear a bra. I wasn't necessarily sure that I believed it but Sunny was sure putting the theory to the test. Tiny had bought them for her as a birthday present.

Blue and T.J. were waiting for us in the kitchen area, sipping on a couple of beers prepping for our night out. I'm sure it would be considered tame compared to some of the club parties but I had no doubt they would hold their own. They were both freshly showered and trimmed, with just a touch of cologne. The local college girls would be dropping their panties at just the sight of them in their bad boy leather.

"It's about damn time....you girls tryin' to starve us over here?"

I stomped my foot and made mock gorilla arms. "I am big strong man... feed me now." I taunted Blue with a lively audience egging me on. "Come on" I hooked my elbow through his and led him through the front door¸ "you can be my date tonight. Well, at least until I get ditched for the first available horny undergrad, and then I'll have to nurse my broken heart with some ice cream wondering where we went wrong...."

Blue was so much fun to tease. I knew for sure that the only way I was getting away with it was because of Jay but I could live with that, and Blue was being a good sport about it. He did however draw the line at having me chauffeur us all downtown. Apparently it was very unmanly to be driven around by a chick.

We parked on a side street and headed to Rodeo Rick's a great western themed BBQ place complete with mechanical bull and line dancing. We enjoyed steaks and ribs, having more than a few laughs. Somewhere between Sunny's third and fourth beer she decided that she would ride the bull. There was no way that this could end well, but Sunny would hear none of it. She made her way over to the padded corral in the rear of the dining room, 'borrowing' some guy's cowboy hat along the way.

It was no easy task to hike herself up astride the oversized saddle that dwarfed her tiny frame. "Lil's!.... Take my picture for my man.... I want him to know what he's missing.." She held on tight to the center saddle horn and pinned her knees to the leather.

"I put fifty on her not lasting more than two minutes." I called out to T.J.

He smirked. "I'll take that. You care to go double or nothing?"

Hmmm.. A hundred bucks could more than pay my way tonight without having to touch Jay's money. "Deal. Two minutes starts now." I checked the clock on my phone, and held my breath as the cheering crowd grew. With thirty seconds to go, I was starting to grow nervous. T.J. just stood, smugly watching on as Sunny was now hooting and hollering like a cowgirl.

Ten seconds. Five seconds. Shit. Two. One. Ugh. I hung my head low in defeat and held a crisp hundred dollar bill out. T.J. snatched it gingerly from my fingertips and leaned over to be heard above the crowd. "Let's just say that Tiny brags about his ol' lady when he drinks. I never doubted her for a minute."

Does anybody grasp that Tiny is my BROTHER! I roll my eyes and head off to the ladies room leaving T.J. and Blue behind to cheer Sunny on. The restaurant was starting to pack in, with it nearing eight o'clock. The drink specials would be starting soon and college kids on a budget knew just how to stretch their drinking dollars. Squeezing my way through the kids, I reached the bar and flagged down a bartender. "Cranberry and club please."

"Put that on my sugar."

I turned to face the deep voice from behind, curious at who would be eavesdropping on my drink order. This was interesting. "Hey Gary. Long time no see." The bartender handed me my drink and nodded over to Gary, acknowledging the financial arrangement. "Thanks... but you didn't need to do that."

"I figured it would give you a reason to have to stay and hang with me for a while." He smiled. "I mean, you've been too busy to return my texts and calls lately, who knows when I'll get to see you in the flesh again. You look fantastic by the way. Different, though."

Gary had been a small blip on the radar a few months back. We had gone out on a few dates and he even invited me to spend Christmas with his family. He was sweet and charming but the initial spark soon faded, and he didn't seem to catch on.

I sipped on the tiny red straw floating in my glass, and bought myself a few extra seconds before having to explain myself. "I know.. things have been so crazy for me. Barely a second to myself with so much going on." I nodded for emphasis, but I could see Gary leaning his ear in to hear my words, with the music and the voices becoming louder around us.

"Can't hear you Julia..." He touched my elbow lightly. "Let's find a quiet spot"

I looked around for any sight of my group, but too many people were blocking my view. I nodded to Gary and let him guide me out before the ever growing crowd crushed me into bar. We settled into a corner le and I set my drink down, with Gary pulling in close.

"So where you been, Jules?" He took a sip of his beer before placing it next to my own glass. Gary was cute, in a frat boy, Abercrombie and Fitch kind of way. He was a good person and I had had a great time with him, but didn't see the point in wasting any more of it for either one of us. He had clearly wanted more from me than I could give him. I was looking for a good time and he was there. I had tried to let him down gently and maintain some sort of friendship but he always found some way to try and make it more, becoming more and more possessive over time. Distance was the only way I could find to make myself clear.

In another life who knows what would have happened between us, he really was a nice guy and I didn't see the need to play games with him. "I'm actually really glad I ran into you tonight. I can say goodbye in person, I'm leaving tomorrow to go home."

"I thought you were hanging around campus for the summer? Since when do you go home for break?"

"Not for break, Gary. For good. I'm transferring and finishing up local. There's some family stuff going on." I smiled, genuinely sad to know that I probably would never see Gary again."

His eyes pinned on me. "What?! Why the hell would you do that?!" He held out to hold onto my arm, trying to comprehend what I was telling him, closing his fingers tight around my wrist.

"It would be in your best interest to let go of her, asshole." My eyes shot past Gary and onto T.J., who had found us.

I jumped to my feet, closing distance as quickly as I could to buffer the tenseness growing between the two men. "T.J,, This is Gary, a friend. I was just telling him that I'm moving home. You know, saying goodbye."

T.J. clenched his jaw, twitching the muscle. "Someone should teach this boy some manners. It's not nice to go grabbing ladies."

Things were escalating quickly. Strangers nearby were unconsciously moving away forming a bubble around our little spectacle. Gary pushed back his chair hard enough to send it tumbling behind. "Who you calling boy, asshole?"

"Seems to me that I was talking to you, pretty boy."

This was not happening. I jumped in between them holding my arms outstretched to either of the men. Gary grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me out of the way hard, whipping me into a nearby le.

"Now you’re gonna fuckin' bleed frat boy." T.J. was fast to push into Gary and send him reeling trying to catch his balance, before he started punching. I had never seen Gary so much as yell at another guy, let alone get into a bar room brawl, but even if he had I knew that he was no match for T.J.. The club had conditioned him well and he was used to speaking with his fists rather than his words. Gary put in a good effort but was no match for the strong biker coming down on him.

Blue and Sunny broke through the crowd as things were starting to wind down. Gary was fading fast, slunched over and losing whatever momentum he had started with. T.J. landed one last punch in Gary's gut before he left him crumpled in a corner. Several bouncers had made their way to us and were pushing at T.J. to leave. It didn't matter that they hadn't seen how the fight began, they saw how it ended. No way were they going to let someone like T.J.hang around.

We followed behind as the juiced up bouncers tossed T.J. toward the sidewalk. Blue reached him first patting him on the back, proud of his friend. Sunny and I stood back, tending to my arm which was now aching from the impact from Gary's push.

"You alright there, kid? Settle down... he's out cold.." Blue reassured T.J.

T.J. shrugged Blue off of him, "Yeah... no thanks to you, asshole. Thanks for having my back. Nice to know you're there when I need you.." T.J.'s words dripped with sarcasm. "Where the fuck were you anyway?

No sooner were the words out, than a bouncy red head clearly over the legal limit came stumbling out to us, fixing in on Blue. "Baby... where'd you go?.... I thought you were going to take me for a ride on your bike...."

"Fuck off, I'm busy." He spat out to the girl, who whimpered and ducked back inside. T.J. slapped him hard on the back and started laughing.

******

We reached the Drunken Co-ed in record time. My arm had quieted down some, Sunny was still wearing the tan Stetson hat, and the boys held up the rear reliving the commotion from before. I didn't like the idea of Gary being knocked on his ass, but I also didn’t exactly like being tossed around like a rag doll either.

Jessica noticed first, as we walked into the bar and called us over to the booth they had secured in a corner. Emily and Bobby were deep in conversation and wrapped up abruptly when I sat down next to them and slid my way in so that Sunny could follow.

Bobby looked Blue up and down before nodding his approval. "Yep, I would move home for a piece of this deliciousness, too Julia."

I laughed aloud, encouraged by Blue's obvious uncomfortable confusion. "This isn't him Bobby. He's working. Sent two friends to help me move. This is Blue, and that there is T.J." Bobby held his hand out regally, and neither biker knew quite what to do with it. I moved on with the introductions while they figured it out. "Jessica, Emily, meet the boys."

Jessica stared at the men in front of us while Emily blushed and looked quickly at her drink. Bobby sat back and pursed his lips, deep in thought before asking out "So, I hear you guys like to ride?"

Blue turned white, clearly uncomfortable. "I'm gonna go find a replacement for the girl you cost me before, bro" he called out to T.J. before taking off. I shook my head at Bobby. He loved to pull crap like that. He could spot a homophobe from a mile away and loved to play games with them.

Sunny laughed at the entertainment and held her hand out to him. "I'm Sunny, I LOVE your highlights by the way." And that was it. Fate had brought these two souls together, and the rest of us had turned into chopped liver, or worse.. last season's clearance rack. They huddled deep into the booth and engrossed themselves fully in fashion police style conversation.

Jessica had caught the attention of a nearby waiter and flagged him over. "Full round of beers please, and shots of Petron."

T.J. edged his way in on the far side away from Bobby. Emily nervously put down her phone and started small talk with him. When our drinks arrived we toasted each other with the small shot glasses. T.J. eyed me cautiously as I held it up to my unparted lips and then placed it back down on the le, the contents undisturbed. I rolled my eyes at him as he smiled satisfactorily at me before concentrating on Emily.

Sunny and Bobby broke their conversation long enough to include me. I explained to Bobby that I would be leaving tomorrow and he shed a tear. Not missing a beat, Sunny handed him her compact mirror to repair the damage to his makeup. We all laughed, Sunny not realizing that we had just come full circle.

Jessica promised to keep in touch and to call me on a regular basis. Emily just looked lost.. "But.. but..we were supposed to graduate together, remember. We made plans." My heart sunk. Emily didn't make friends very easy, due to her shyness and I had been her first friend here. I transferred in when we were sophomores. She had gone her whole freshman year barely noticed by any of the other students.

Bobby held out his hand to her across the le. "Don't you worry about it girlfriend. I'm not going anywhere."

Em's eyes lit up and she accepted his pledge of continuing friendship. T.J. put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "Don't sweat it baby doll. You can come and see her whenever you want. You can even stay with me if you need to." Em blushed and got to know her new suitor a bit better.

Jess and I left the two couples to their conversations and headed over to the bar. "So Jules, is he worth it?" I took a deep breath, contemplating the question. My fingers instinctively moved to touch above my belly button. I smiled. "Yep... He's absolutely worth it."

CHAPTER NINE

TUESDAY

The ride back to Chisholm was a smooth one. I dropped Sunny off at Tiny's house and then headed home with Blue and T.J. in tow. Pulling up in front of the house I noticed my Prius parked in the front, giving me no other option than to park in the driveway.

The boys helped me bring my things in, stacking most of the boxes in a spare bedroom before heading off, leaving Jean and I to unpack them. We made good time, all things considered, even accounting for our dinner break. Jean whipped up some of her famous fried chicken before we set her up in the bedroom next to Jay's and we each turned in for the night.

Vince was on the road with Jay and Tiny, so Jean and I were keeping each other company. I started running the bath water and added some lavender scented bath oil to the tub as it filled. Lighting a few candles, I dimmed the lights and sunk into the oversized tub grateful to finally have a few moments to myself. I touched the control pad on the nearby wall and gentle music streamed through the hidden wall speakers.

Closing my eyes I breathed deeply, exhaling fully using the techniques I learned in yoga class to release stress. The music swarmed around me surrounding me in the sweeping melodies. I had always loved music and found that it helped me through some of the most difficult periods of my life.

THEN

The waiting room outside the ICU was filled to standing room only. Every Kingsman within fifty miles was here to show support. Many of the wives and ol' ladies were jostling about making phone calls to organize things and make arrangements.

It wasn't often that tragedy struck the club but when it did I knew how they pulled together. I was usually on the other side of things, though. Jay held my hand as he led me through the sliding doors into the chaos.

Jean rushed toward us as I started to break down, Jay rubbing my back as I sobbed in his mother's arms. She soothed me and offered me sweet words while Vince came over and took me from his wife's embrace. I managed to quiet myself long enough to ask "What happened?..."

Vince held me tight. "We're still not sure sweetie. We were riding alongside a caravan of shipping trucks offering protection. Some bikes came out of nowhere trying to highjack the delivery. They fired some shots before we could chase them off. Tiny was hit in the chest. He just got out of surgery. Your ma's in there with him now."

I lifted my head, sniffling and nodding. Beth, Clink's ol'lady handed me a tissue. "Can... can I see him?"

"Of course you can... follow me sweetheart." Jean led me to the Nurse's station and arranged for me to see Tiny.

No more than two visitors were allowed in a time. My mom was sitting in a side chair holding Tiny's limp hand. There were wires and cords coming out of him in so many places. Monitor screens beeped and buzzed around us, and a respirator pump inflated itself and then collapsed before repeating.

"Mom.." My voice cracked watching the broken woman before me stare at me blankly.

"They shot my boy." She stated coldly, matter of factly.

I pulled up a chair next to her. My mother was barely forty two years old. She was once a beautiful, stunning woman with the gleam of life in her eyes. She had become bitter, hardened and worn from a life that sometimes treated her unfairly but mostly was just disappointing to her. "Out there.." she pointed toward the door. "They shot my boy..."

"Mom... they're going to catch the guys that did this." I tried to reassure her.

My mom collapsed her head down to Tiny's fingers, "It don't matter... they'll be another one lined up.... Don't you get it little girl!" She started to get loud. "This is what happens when you ride with those people" she spat in disgust pointing her chin sharply in the direction of door.

I sighed. My mother had always spoken badly of the club. She blamed it for everything that has gone wrong in her life, from a husband that always put her second and eventually was lured away when things got tough, to a woman that nurtured her children better than their own mother could.

"This is what is waiting for you baby girl. Take a good hard look." She was cold, detached. "Do you know how many times I sat by your daddy's hospital bed? And what do I have to show for it? A man who screwed around on me and took off every chance he got to live out some childhood fantasy. Left me with two hungry kids to feed, and now I have to relive it all over with you two."

My legs went numb. She was unleashing her pain and her hurt at me like bullets, each one tearing into my own flesh. "Tiny's gonna follow the same dark path as Butch did. This is where it's landed him, and you.." she was screaming under her breath, spittle snaking out with each hard syllable. "You think that man of yours is gonna be any different? He's gonna chase every little skirt he can while you're at home fixing his dinner. And then you'll even get to sit here in this chair watching these machines, hoping and praying that he survives and finally wakes up to live his life right. And all the while those animals will be out there, just waiting for him to be useful to them again. For him to come running back to them. And he will.... he always will. Because he will always chose them.”

I lifted myself up gingerly out of my chair and shuffled myself out of the room, bracing myself against the railings in the hallway. I made my way down the hall towards the waiting room. There were security guards blocking the entrance to the ICU, holding back the men I had always relied on to protect me. But no one was there to protect me from the deadly words that struck my soul. My vision became blurred and my eyelids weighed heavy against me. I lost all sound around me as the ground came rushing to console me. The last sight I had was of Jay breaking through the barricade and running towards me.

Many hours later I woke to find myself cradled in Jay's arms as he gently rocked me back and forth kissing my forehead. The room was dark, but I could tell that we were in his bed. My eyes were sore and swollen, raw. There was light music playing nearby. I closed my eyes and let the sweet sounds carry me away.

******

NOW

FRIDAY

The deep aroma of brewing coffee greeted me as I started to stir. I took stock of my surroundings, finding myself in Jay's bed. The scent of dark roast beckoning me to the glorious caffeine awaiting me.

Jean was fully dressed in her dark rinse jeans and tucked in button down shirt, her hair blown out and she had a perfect face of makeup on. She smiled at me as I sauntered in, wearing one of Jay's oversized shirts and a fresh head of tangles piled high. "Mornin' sleepyhead."

I smiled weakly as I helped myself to some coffee. I glanced at the clock on the microwave. 8:23. I closed my eyes and breathed in the steam from my cup as I walked blindly to the breakfast counter.

Jean set a bowl of oatmeal and sliced fruit in front of me and kissed the top of my head. "Gotta go into town and run some errands, check in on the clubhouse. Blue's outside if you need anything baby girl. Oh, Vince called. They're running ahead of schedule.. might be home early. Call me if you need me."

I raised my cup to her in silent appreciation and farewell as she headed out the door. 8:25. I put my oatmeal in the fridge and headed back to bed with my coffee.

Sometime around ten o'clock I crept out of bed and got dressed. I threw my hair up into a clip and selected the barest amount of makeup to make me look presentable. I had to rummage through my unpacked overnight bag to search for my lip gloss. A white bag sat atop of the inner contents blocking my view.

I found my lip gloss and tucked it into my pocket. Opening the bag, I took out the bottle of prenatal vitamins and read the directions before opening the safety cap and removing one let, swallowing it dry. I put the bottle back in the bag and took out the Plan B package setting it down on the vanity counter. I had decided not to take the pills sometime around having dinner with Jean the other night. The seventy two hours had expired and the pills had lost any value anyway. Popping the pills out of their foil bubbles I rinsed them down the drain and tossed the package in the trash basket. I reached down spreading my palm over my abdomen. Well, the only thing left to do now was wait. I applied a thin coat of gloss to my lips and puckered into a tissue before turning on my heel and heading out for the day.

******

Sunny's Place was a large store front on Maple street across from the post office. When Tiny and I were kids, it was an old fashioned type candy shop. We would ride our bicycles down here and clean the place out, returning home with an intense sugar high. The owners, a lovely old couple had closed the business and retired to Boca some time ago leaving the space vacant. Tiny scooped it up and the brothers put most of the work in while remodeling it for Sunny. The main oversized gum ball machine was transported to Tiny's basement, and I caught a glimpse of the cotton candy machine in Jay's garage. Nostalgia is a funny thing. I mean bikers looking for a candy fix?

The main area was light and airy with a coffee bar and reception desk. Magazines spread themselves over a large center le and flat screen televisions buzzed with muted junk reality shows. The music was turned way up and the employees were roaming about, working on their customers.

Sunny was carrying a pile of folded towels from one of the back rooms when she spotted me. "Fantastic.. you're early. Come on, I've got a crazy day ahead and can use the jump start." She dropped the towels and beckoned me over to the sink station. I donned a traditional vinyl beauty cape and sat down. Sunny was a well established hair dresser and had shampoo girls working for her, but she came to my sink herself and started to lather my hair in a delicious smelling expensive shampoo.

She was all decked out today, resembling a 40's pin up girl with dramatic hair waves and bright red lipstick. She may not shampoo too any heads these days but she hasn't lost her skills. Wringing out my hair and toweling it dry she clipped it up turban style and led me to her chair, front and center of the design area.

"Hmmmm".... she concentrated while combing out my tangles. "I see lots of layers and I think we should add some deep auburn.."

I trusted Sunny's expertise and put myself in her capable hands. Two hours later I had been colored, highlighted, cut dried and waved. It was a shame to waste such a gorgeous blow out on a regular day. Even Jay wasn't around to see her work. Sunny wasn't exaggerating about her bust day. I stuck around and tried to make myself useful, sweeping up clumps of cut hair, restocking the coffee bar supplies and answering phones.

Teenager after teenager piled in with mom in tow, to be styled for the prom later that night. Chisholm high wasn't large by any standards but they managed to pull out all the stops for the kids on prom night. It was most certainly a black tie affair and these girls were sparing no expense on their appearance tonight.

The nail stations were full, pedicure chairs turning over quickly and the makeup counter was a flourish of excitement. Sunny had five other hairdressers working just as feverishly as she was. I called up the local luncheon and placed a delivery order for the ladies. The last thing Sunny needed today was someone passing out from over exhaustion.

Having a moment of reprieve before the next set of chores, I sat at the reception desk and checked my phone. Two messages, one from Jay and one from Emily. I checked Jay's first.

JAY: RUNNING AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.. DON'T KNOW

FOR SURE BUT MIGHT BE HOME EARLY

He had sent it about five hours ago.

ME: K. GIVE ME A HEADS UP WHEN U KNOW

MISS YOU

It had seemed like ages since Jay had ridden away on his bike, but in actuality it had only been just under a week. A longing swelled in my chest. Looking to distract myself, I opened Emily's message from about an hour earlier.

EMILY: JULIA!! SO.. T.J. CALLED ME...

DID YOU GIVE HIM MY NUMBER?

Guilty as charged. Damn right I gave him her number. I knew she was too shy to do it herself and hadn't picked up on the many clues he was giving her the other night. He was a sweet guy and she needed a little harmless fun in her life. She lived out everyone else's love life and it was time she started to concentrate on her own.

ME: YUP... HE PRACTICALLY BEGGED ME

ENJOY!

When the last of the teenagers had been pampered and coiffed, we locked the front door and collapsed in the leather couches, reeling from the whole ordeal. Sunny looked beat up, slipping out of her wedge sandals and putting her feet up. I handed her a cool bottle of water, which she accepted graciously before glancing over the salon. It looked like a damn tornado had hit. Her eyes widened and then closed in defeat.

I rummaged through the front desk and closed out the computer, placing all of the cash and credit receipts in a deposit envelope. Marching over to Sunny I handed it out to her and ordered, "Take this and go home to soak in a bath. I'll watch over the girls and we'll lock up when we're done."

Sunny put up a very weak argument before conceding. She slipped on a pair of foam pedicure slippers and headed out to her car. The daylight was starting to dwindle, and it had been one long crazy afternoon.

The girls cleaned quickly, stocking for the following day and powered down the salon in no time at all. A cute little brunette set the alarm and locked the door behind us as we set out to our respective homes and the relaxation that awaited us.

I pulled my little Prius out into traffic heading west, windows rolled down and the cooling dusk breeze passing by. The limo in front of me was packed with teens, arms waving out of the sunroof and music pumping loudly.

I grinned at the sight. Prom night was magical, and these kids were about to have the time of their lives.

THEN

I stared at my reflection, pulling and tugging on the dress in awkward places to try and settle it perfectly over my frame. Jean was bending down placing my shoes in front of me, offering her outstretched hand as a balance while I stepped into them. My hair was curled and pinned up in a very intricate array of cascading tendrils, with a tiny sparkling clip tucked in for embellishment.

I nodded in the mirror to myself, "I don't know ma, do you think It's too tight? I mean what if I want to dance?..."

Jean stood behind be and beamed over my shoulder at my mirror image. "It's perfect. You look beautiful baby girl. My son is one lucky young man to be on your arm tonight." She gave me gentle hug, careful not to mess my dress. "Let's go, the car's here."

I took her arms as she helped me down the hallway. The dress was much tighter than any I've worn before and I knew it was pretty tasteful compared to some of the others I had seen when we were shopping, but the last thing I wanted was to trip and land on my face in front of the people waiting downstairs.

My bedroom was on the second story, and we took the steps slowly, one at a time making our way to the landing. Butch's house was not big compared to most, but suddenly the staircase seemed to stretch for miles.

My pop was still in jail serving out the last few weeks of his sentence and I was disappointed he couldn't be here to see me tonight. I could hear the voices downstairs, filling the rooms with laughter and love. My dad may not be here for me tonight but the rest of my family had sure made up for it.

Vince called out first as we touched down on the main floor. "There she is! Our little baby girl all grown up." I beamed with pride. I had never felt as beautiful and special as I did in that moment. Jay stepped through the front line of well wishers and held out his hand to me. Letting go of Jean, I let him pull me into him.

"You look amazing baby." He whispered into my ear as he held me.

The many people around us cheered and joined in loud celebrating. I pulled back nervously at the spectacle we were making in front of our family. Tiny was sitting down in a chair close to the entrance way. I saw him try to stand and made my way over to him to settle him back down before he stood.

He was still weak, only having been released from the hospital a week ago. Jean and I as well as the other ol' ladies were taking shifts at his house nursing him back to health. My mom had phased out of the picture again, once Tiny was considered stable. I hadn't spoken to her since her outburst in the hospital. She probably didn't even know it was my prom tonight.

Tiny's color looked much better, but his eyes were still a little cloudy from pain killers. "Sis.. you look stunning. You look like grandma right now."

A tear started to swell, as I took in his words. My grandma had been beautiful and elegant even modeling a little bit before she settled down with gramps. I was especially close to her while she was alive and she was my namesake. I sniffled back my tears and laughed to mask my sadness, "You're gonna make me ruin my makeup you big jerk."

Tiny winced in pain slightly as his chest heaved from laughing. Carol, Dewey's ol' lady rushed to his side to tend to him. Jay called my attention back to him, opening a clear plastic case with an exquisite corsage inside, matching my white silky dress. He fumbled nervously trying to attach it securely around my wrist.

"Case of the jitters, hmm boy?" Clink called out from the rear, followed by raucous laughter from a few of the guys. Jay looked at them and snarled, causing their laughter to increase. He then looked at me shyly putting the finishing touches on my wrist.

Vince swooped his arm up, calming the crowd. "All right, let's get these kids to their prom, yeah? Everyone fall out.."

One by one the brothers headed out to their bikes in full riding gear. Each ol' lady was fully decked out, wearing her rag stating the name of her ol' man under the curved arched words Property of...

Tiny was helped into the van, or cage, at the end of the processional. The doctors wouldn't be clearing him to ride yet for at least another month or so. Jay and I were the last two to follow behind. He paused to look at me once more. "Lil's you take my breath away right now."

"I love you too, Jay..." He kissed my forehead at my words, before taking my hand and leading me to the limo at the front of the caravan.

Jay's tux blended in to the dark night around us. He swore up and down that I wouldn't catch him dead in a monkey suit while we were planning prom, but here he was as elegant and dapper as any man I've ever seen. He saw me inspecting his attire, and leaned around spreading his shoulders to give me a full view of his back.

Embroidered into the back of Jay's tuxedo was a replica of his patches. I closed my eyes and laughed. "I wouldn't expect anything else, baby..."

Jay stood proud helping me into the limo seat, "Just keeping it real sweetheart." We pulled out down the street with the entire club following behind on their bikes and Tiny pulling up the rear in the cage.

Prom was magical, beyond any expectations I could have had. Jay was pleasant enough to my friends and their dates, and even managed to dance to some of the slower songs with me. We hadn't spent much time alone in the last month or so. Every waking moment that I was not in class, I was either at the hospital or crashing at Tiny's house taking care of him. Jay brought us food and tried to distract me in the rare moments when I was able to relax, knowing that Tiny was being well cared for by the other ol' ladies.

Since his initial declaration of love on that horrible night, we made sure to repeat it often. He was so patient and supporting, but Tiny was his best friend and club brother. I know he was just as scared and nervous as I had been. He was careful not to show it though, acting as my rock.

The prom was winding down, and couples were making their exit. Many had gotten hotel rooms on premises, and we had been invited to more than a few after parties. Jay politely declined all of them, and I was grateful. I hadn't been alone with my man for weeks. I needed to have his undivided attention tonight. The brothers had managed to drop off Jay's bike earlier in the night, and we had dismissed the limo shortly after dropping us off. My dress may have been a bit tight but at least it wasn't pouffy. I was able to hike it up mid thigh and straddle behind Jay closely while he drove us home to his house.

My hands were exploring the front of his shirt, thankful for the warm flesh. My mom's words were not lost on me and I had more than a few nightmares in the time since of Jay lying in Tiny's place, unconscious and gripping on to life with the aid of machines.

But this man in front of me was alive, and strong, heart beating loudly under my palm. He reached down and took hold of my hand raising it to his lips before kissing my fingers, tracing just the right amount of suction behind. My exposed legs were now burning, with the heat coursing up to their apex. I closed my eyes and counted down the seconds until we were in front of Jay's new home

We managed to dismount and scurry into his main door in record time, kissing and groping our entire way up the walk. Once we reached the door Jay was not letting up on his grip around my waist to rummage for his house key. He pressed me into the oak barrier behind me as he blindly tried each key on his ring, Kissing me deeply as he carried on until he had found a match.

The door swung open behind me causing me to sway with the sudden loss of my backing. Jay steadied me and picked me up as he walked through, kicking the door closed behind him. He turned in the direction of his bedroom and forged ahead, gripping me tightly and staring into my eyes.

He playfully tossed me down onto his bed and leaned over me resting his weight on his hands. "You make my heart hurt so much I think it's going to burst sometimes, Lil's.."

He rested his chin against his chest and breathed deep, hiding his eyes from mine, ashamed at his admission. I shimmied up to him nudging his chin up with my own. "Jay, you make me feel like I never thought possible." I kissed him gently twirling my tongue around the opening to his lips. "Show me you love me, baby" I asked him "I need to feel it".

I reached up to his collar and fumbled with the top button as he stared in awe at me, flashes of need and lust crossing between us. My fingernails were longer than usual and I was having no luck with his shirt when he crashed his lips down to mine and let out a deep moan. Raising his hands near mine, he gripped at the fabric and tore his shirt wide open letting the buttons fall to the floor. My breath hitched at the feeling of power he was exerting, pressing down to me guiding me to the softness below.

He managed to slither out of his undershirt without breaking much contact between our lips. I threw my head back and cried out as his hands then moved up my outer thighs greedily, settling on the elastic of my panties. Kissing and licking my neck he let out a primal growl into my skin as he pulled his hands down sharply taking my underwear with them. I gasped deeply before Jay covered my lips with his once more, plunging his need and strength into my mouth. "Roll over baby..." he grumbled through his breaths.

I slowly eased over onto my belly, closing my eyes at the rawness to his voice. I felt the mattress lift as he stood next to the bed and heard the shuffling sounds as he stepped out of his pants. I closed my eyes tighter, concentrating on my breathing. I had never felt this way with Jay.. he was in control, expertly maneuvering his way around my body.

He slipped off each my shoes with a flick of his finger and then straddled me bending over to kiss the back of my neck. I tried to angle my head to catch one of his kisses when he nibbled on my ear "Stay still baby..."

A hot surge of magma plunged from the heat his breath left on my ear straight down to my aching center, which was now throbbing in delightful mini spasms. I did as I was told, I held still, fighting against every fiber of my being not to reach around and grab this man's lips to mine.

Jay continued to trail his kisses down my back, grasping onto the back zipper of my dress and lowering it in an agonizingly slow manner that made my body shudder. His tongue trailed behind following the zipper's abandoned path down my spine until it had reached the end, near the small of my back. He then planted a deep kiss right above my cleft and pulled hard, yanking my dress down over my thighs. I convulsed at the sudden movement and Jay chuckled into my skin, satisfied of his effect on me.

He managed to shimmy my dress past my legs and into a heap on the floor. His hands massaged my ass checks deeply, moving down to my thighs with a deliberate urgency growing in their movements. Once they had reached below my knees, Jay put a large amount of pressure pushing and sliding them up below me so that my hips were now raised in the air.

My eyes rolled back, trying to brace myself for whatever was coming next. Jay spread my knees with his palm and then used a finger to race down my slit barely touching it. He moaned, "Oh god baby, you're so wet for me." And with that, he slammed his mouth into me, licking his way from my front to my back. I cried out loudly and grabbed on to the sheets around me as he suckled on my folds, tugging gently on the outer lips, and slithering his tongue over the hardening tissue at the top of my sex. I whimpered when he set his mouth upon it, which seemed to excite him more. He latched on, sucking and milking it with growing intensity as I squirmed deeper and deeper into the mattress with my top half. His hands were massaging me, spreading me allowing him deeper access to my core. His groaning only added vibration to my already sensitive areas and I felt a warm flood of heat burst under his tongue as I started to shake and cry out to Jay, my world shattering around me.

He moved his lips to my inner thigh and continued to gently kiss, waiting for my ecstasy to slowly subside. I collapsed fully, deflated with sheer exhaustion. Panting heavily I tried to bring myself back from the edge that Jay had just thrown me over. Sensing my calmness, Jay nipped lightly at my thigh, "Baby.. I love to make you come for me..."

I nodded my head silently, void of all words. All I could muster was a deep purring to show my appreciation. Jay leaned on his knees and guided my hips to turn over for him, with my body following. He was raised above me, staring at me under him with a proud look of longing. I reached up and kissed his top lip, then his bottom lip parting my way through to his warmth. My saltiness had covered his mouth, fueling the building level of eroticism between us.

He held my head, splaying his fingers through my hair while gently setting me back down. Moving between my legs he urged my hips apart settling himself, bracing his weight as not to crush me. He leaned forward, deepening our kiss as he slid gently into the slickness of my folds. I whipped my head at the sudden surge of pressure entering into me. Jay guided my chin, so that I would face him again, and paused his movements "Baby.. look at me... I need to see you when I take you.."

I nodded, scared at what was growing between my legs causing a sweet edge of curiosity begging for the pain that was withholding itself from me. Jay kissed my lips "I love you Lil's"

I cried out as Jay held me kissing my forehead, my cheeks, as he entered me fully spreading my tissues to accommodate his massive self. A lone tear dropped down my cheek from the stress. Jay kissed it away and stayed perfectly still waiting for my muscles to calm from the sudden intrusion. My pulse slowed and my body settled into its new state. J ay stared into me, eyes full of fear that he had caused me any pain.

I kissed him, "It's ok baby, I'm OK."

He exhaled and relaxed his overly tensed body, brushing my cheek with his fingers, "Lil's I'm so sorry baby.."

I moved my hips slowly into Jay showing him that I had recovered. "Please Jay.... show me...."

Jay's eyes lit up, the guilt melting away. His hips slowly led out of mine leaving a strange void behind before he slid himself back into my depths. I moaned deeply with each of his movements, trying to keep up with the slowly increasing pace.

The slickness between us guided Jay as he buried himself over and over just a little bit deeper every time. The growing tension deep below my pelvis had returned, bringing a torturous ecstasy behind it waiting to be released. I clambered at Jay's back desperate for him to unlock the building sensations, my nails digging into his shoulders pushing him into me.

Jay slipped his hand down between us and began to rub the tip of my opening gently and then more forcefully as my cries began to grow. He broke our kiss and called out "Come with me baby..."

I exploded into sweet jolts of release holding on to Jay, afraid I would break apart at any moment. He was holding onto me just as eagerly, shuddering and shivering from his own release. We lie still for what seemed like a long while, unable to move, to let go of each other. We had just given ourselves to each other completely. This man now had every piece of me, owned me fully. My eyes fluttered as I rested against him, his heartbeat lulling me into the purest most peaceful night's sleep.

******

NOW

SUNDAY

I stretched my legs out, pressing my neck deep into the pillow willing my eyes to open. There was nothing but darkness in front of my closed lids and I knew that it was either extremely late or very early. My inner voice was sending messages to wake, and I ignored it long enough to hear the slight sound of breathing coming from the side of the bed.

My eyes flew open and I jolted up, struggling to adjust my eyes to the shapes in front of me. The bedside lamp turned on with its dim wattage flooding over every surface as I blinked hard to rid my view of the cloudiness.

Jay was sitting in the side chair, pulled up close to his side of the bed. I smiled at him instantly, not recognizing the stiffness to his form. "Hey baby..." I yawned. "When did you get home".

I pulled the covers back and started to crawl over to him, when he put his hand up in an abrupt stopping motion. "Don't".

"Huh..." I was baffled. "OK... You just gonna sit there and watch me sleep like a stalker?" I bantered trying to lighten the thickening mood.

Jay sat back in his chair and stared at me, a coldness behind his hooded eyes. I was too tired and too confused to play games at this hour. "Baby.. you gonna tell me what's going on or are we gonna have a staring contest?" I winked to add emphasis.

Jay reached over to the nightstand, and tossed something over to me, it landing on the bed near my knee. I picked it up and held it close to my eyes, struggling to read the letters in my state of half sleep.

The words finally made themselves clear. PLAN B.

FUCK. I closed my eyes, and dropped the package as if it was burning hot. "Jay... It's not what you think..."

"Really.. tell me what I think, then." He spat at me. Jay had not risen to his position in club by being a gentleman. I knew I was dealing with a very different person that I was used to seeing. He saved this side of him for club business and hid it carefully. I knew that I needed to move forward very cautiously.

"Baby.." I started when Jay flashed me an evil scowl at the sound of my words. I cleared my throat and started again. "Jay... I didn't take them, I swear."

Jay laughed coldly. "Seems to me the pills are missing, Lil's."

"I know.." I whispered. "I flushed them down the drain and then threw away the package. I ...I... had a change of heart and decided not to take them.

I seemed to have peaked Jay's attention. "Really..." He dripped with sarcasm. "Let's say I believe you sweetheart. Let's say you had a 'change of heart'. That means you were at least contemplating it at some point. You were gonna kill my baby and not even tell me." He stood now, angry and peering over the bed like a giant. "That is if you didn't actually take them anyway."

I stood up on my knees now, growing angry at his accusations. "I told you I didn't and I meant it, Jay. I had the opportunity to take them if I wanted to, and don't you dare criticize that choice until you're actually the one who has to make it. We've been apart for two years and I had no idea what was going to happen between us. But, I couldn't do it. I won't even know if there was anything to take a pill for. Not for another few days or so, anyway. The Doctor gave it to me as a precaution." I could see his face contorting.

"A precaution... a FUCKING PRECAUTION!!" he bellowed. "Really? You bailed on me once Lil's, nearly killed me too. Then you come stumbling back into my life and I'm stupid enough to take you back, put my fucking neck on the line for you, without once thinking of PRECAUTIONS. And this is how you repay me? Tell me something Lil's? Would it really be that terrible having my baby inside you? Or were you trying to run from that too?"

I slapped him hard across the face. He just stood there with a blank look, gritting his teeth together. "You ever hit me again baby, you make sure you knock me out cold or get a good head start running."

I froze. I had never even so much as touched Jay when I was angry. I had seen what happened when some of the other ol' ladies went after their man. I swallowed hard, but my sense of resolve set back in.

I marched off to the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of prenatal vitamins before turning and throwing them at Jay's feet. "This... this is hardly called running, you asshole." I screamed. "I made a mistake OK. I let other's tell me how it was going to be between us. I had doubts and fears that we were going to turn into my parents. You hurt or dead and me an angry bitter old woman that hated you for putting me second. When I saw you with that tattoo girl it just confirmed every last fear I had.” My eyes were tearing up now, but I kept going.

"I was WRONG. I know it, OK?. I'm gonna have to live with it for the rest of my fucking life. But I thought this could be a new beginning." I held tight around my stomach. Jay's eyes dropping to my center. "I don't even know if this is anything... but if it is, then it's a part of you and me. A new beginning, a way to pick up where we should have been to start with."

I dropped my hands and collapsed my shoulders, spent from my outpouring of emotions. "I was going to tell you.. as soon as I knew for sure I was going to tell you. I promise you that. I know you don't have much reason to believe me. But I swear on all of my love for you, It's true..."

I broke down, giving in to the tide of feelings unleashing themselves from my soul. Jay walked over slowly, pulling me into his embrace and holding me, trying desperately to quiet me down. "Shhh ... Baby...It's ok... calm down Lil's." He kissed my cheek as if I was a delicate porcelain doll about to shatter.

"It's not OK... You don't believe me... you hate me"

Jay pulled me out to see his face. "Lil's I could never hate you. I tried. I tried so fucking hard to hate you when you left. I couldn't do it. I loved you then and I never stopped loving you baby." He pulled me in close, rocking me. He took a deep breath. "I believe you. You tell me you didn't do it then I believe you."

I stood back in awe, utterly shocked. "You... you do?" The tears had instantly slowed. Jay pushed himself into me, kissing me deeply, conveying to me in touch what I couldn't believe in his words. I pulled at him, clawed at him needing him to be closer. Our mouths moved frantically over each other. Jay hitched my nightshirt up and grabbed at my hips, swinging them up around him.

My hands moved wildly through his hair and then down his shoulders pulling and tugging at his leather vest. We crashed into the mattress unwilling to let each other out of our grip. Jay threw off his cut followed by his shirt as I hastily pulled at his belt.

"Easy baby.... don't want to go damaging the goods now.." He helped himself to the belt buckle, proficiently opening it and letting his jeans drop to his ankles. I looked on as his perfect penis sprang free, offering me the comfort I so desperately sought. Jay watched as my hooded eyes followed his manhood. "Tell me what you want, Baby... Tell me what you need.."

I looked at Jay's beautiful lustful eyes and pooled my courage. "I want you to make me come .... I want you inside me and I want to scream your name."

Jay smiled devilishly. "Your wish is my command." He slammed into me hard enough to make me jolt back, rebounding from the intensity. He barely gave me any time to recover before he plunged himself deeper and deeper holding my knees apart with one hand as he played me thoroughly with the other. He stroked and pressed and rubbed in just the right spot to send me wheeling as I cried out to him, my orgasm shaking through me. He reached down to kiss my lips as I came back down to earth. "Better baby?...."

I was positioning a response when he tossed me aside grabbing at my flimsy night shirt and threw it behind him. He crawled into the bed after me and gripped my hips "Just getting started baby... ride me.. ride me hard." He leaned back onto the mattress and gently slapped my thigh encouraging me to straddle him.

I lowered myself slowly taking him in inch by inch until I rested firmly on his thighs. I moaned with the full sense of satisfaction that only his dick could ever offer me. Jay reached up to knead my breasts, gently. I threw my head to the side and called to him "Baby... I need more.."

I started to raise myself faster and faster needing him to hit that precious spot. Jay grabbed my hips firmly and dug them down into his, maximizing the force. I whimpered, and Jay raised me slightly, concern filling his eyes. I wanted more and tried to free myself from his hold, to fill myself again. He held me still in an an iron like grip. "Baby... you ok? Did I hurt you... I don't think we should be going so deep.." His eyes moved to my stomach and his hands instantly followed massaging lightly around my middle.

I reached down for his hand and raised it, opening my mouth and taking his long finger in, in just one stride and closed around it sucking from base to tip before gently nipping the top. "More..." I commanded.

Jay flew into action, rolling us over so he was on top of me pinning me down. He held my arms above my head and used his weight on his arm to push and thrust himself over and over again into me. I bit my lip, trying to control my building need. The headboard slammed over and over into the wall, setting a rhythm for Jay as he kept his stamina strong.

His groin was rubbing me in just the right way with every plunge into me. I started to pant, labored uneven breathing as the deep tingling started. "Now... baby... come to me now!" He called out as I screamed my pleasure aloud with his own scream to follow. Jay rolled off of me and pulled me into his arms. He tucked me into his side and spread his embrace wide, covering me with his large hands. Neither of us spoke. We just lay in silence, our finger tips trailing circles on each other’s flesh until we fell asleep.

CHAPTER TEN

The next two days were filled with the comings and goings of club members, taking private meetings with Jay. They were careful enough to leave the house, either wandering in the back yard or holing up in the basement so that I wouldn't eavesdrop. I had never been one to spy outright, but I had never missed an opportunity to conveniently stumble upon a clandestine conversation, either.

Tiny had brought Sunny with him when he ventured over, and we managed to occupy ourselves in the boys' absence. Jay was pre-occupied and quiet during meals and before bed. On the second day, I had needed a break from the uneasiness and decided to take a long soak in the tub.

The candles were lit, the bath oil added and the lights dimmed. I stretched out, fully submerging myself under the rim of water. Jay had entered the master bedroom calling out for me.

"I'm in here babe...." I swirled my toes, having them peak through the water.

Jay came upon me soaking in the bath, and grinned. "Such a hard life you have Lil's.. make room."

I was pleasantly surprised at his invitation. Jay had been attentive enough, with more than the occasional kiss or pat on the ass but it was clear that something was weighing on his mind and I had given him the space that he needed to work through it.

Jay stepped in the tub and sat behind me, settling me back to lay on his chest as our legs intertwined themselves mindlessly.

Our fingers laced through each other's and he held on tightly, an unspoken apology for distancing himself since his early return from the club's run the other day. I brought our joined hands up to my lips and kissed a trail down his wrist. "Penny for your thoughts".

Jay exhaled, but said nothing.

"Fine" I said stubbornly. "Don't tell me. I get it, I'm just a chick... couldn't possibly understand the complexities of the world around me."

Jay began to nuzzle the top of my head. "You know that's not it Lil's. It's club shit. No need for you worry about anything unless I need you to."

The water tickled, filling the microscopic crevices between our bodies as his chest below me raised and settled with each breath. "Does it have anything to do with why you guys came home early?" My investigative skills had managed to pick up that something had happened on the road causing them to end the run early. I also heard the Slayers mentioned more than once.

"Lil's... I won't tell you again. You don't need to worry about that side of things... you just concern yourself with this, with us." His arms wrapped around my stomach and he kissed my neck. "Any idea yet?..."

I clasped my hands on top of his. "Not yet... I thought I'd take a test soon. Get an answer, know for sure...".

Jay massaged over my skin, first my belly, my hips... then in between my thighs while lulling over my ear. "Baby... how 'bout I do an exam to check?".

I playfully smacked his wickedly wandering hand. "I don't think we've ever played Doctor before baby... should I be a naughty little nurse or a sweet little candy striper?" Jay slid his finger down between my opening allowing the hot water to flood through my passage, sending a shudder down my legs. He pinned them tightly to the sides of the tub with his own and continued his sensuous message. I moaned and arched my back against him, relishing in the pleasure he was providing. His one arm held me tight around my waist as the other stroked me until I unraveled around him, listless and spent.

"God, I love you baby..." he hummed out as we settled down, enjoying each other’s closeness.

My fingers were starting to prune by the time we decided to go to bed, the heat from the bath draining all extra energy from us both. I wrapped a towel around myself and left the bath area as Jay blew out the candles before following me, collapsing in a heap between our bedding.

I nuzzled in close to him, bare skin on skin. "I'll have to give you a rain check, baby. I'm totally spent..".

Jay laughed. "Go to sleep Lil's.."

******

FRIDAY

The knocking woke us instantly. Jay reached over into his nightstand and pulled out his handgun, releasing the safety and engaging the first bullet into the chamber. He held his arm out across me and instructed. "DO NOT MOVE until I come back.."

I nodded, pulling the blankets higher over my nakedness from yet another night of lovemaking as I watched Jay slink down the hallway. The knocking grew more intense before Jay opened the door and yelled at the late night visitor.

"What the FUCK! I could have shot you, Pop."

I scurried over to my dresser and quickly dressed in stretch leggings and a t-shirt making my way to the bedroom door. There were hushed voices coming from the kitchen and I strained to hear.

"Everything OK, Jay?..." I called out to the men.

"It's just my pop, baby... go back to bed. I'll be there soon."

Point taken. This was not exactly a social call and I was being asked to make myself scarce. Crawling back to bed I lay still, waiting for Jay. I kept an eye on the alarm clock until I could no longer hold my eyes open, as exhaustion set in and took over.

I woke to find myself alone, no signs of Jay or Vince. I wandered out to the kitchen to stumble upon Jean sipping coffee with bloodshot eyes, fumbling through the paper reading about that schoolhouse that burnt down.

"Hey ma... Jay here?..." I asked half heartedly, fully aware that they had left in the dark of Night.

Jean shook her head. "No sweetheart. Some shit went down last night. The boys are trying to settle it before it gets out of hand. Jay asked me to stay here with you until they get back."

I looked at Jean intensely, longing for her to clue me in. I understood Jay wanting to keep me out of club business but I was starting to get scared not knowing what was truly happening. "Ma... is it bad?"

She reached out to me taking my hand. "Nothing they can't handle, baby girl.." Jean had probably been through nights like this more times than she cared to remember but I was dangerously close to a meltdown.

She patted my hand and attempted to cheerfully distract me. "Why don't you take a shower and we'll head to the clubhouse and wait for them. Pack a small bag in case we get stuck there." She smiled, trying to mask the hidden meaning... Things could turn to shit and we might need to lock down.

I nodded, taking in the information. I showered quickly and dressed in jeans and a tank top. I rummaged through my bathroom drawer searching for my necessities. The early pregnancy test box sat unopened next to my vitamin bottle. I swallowed hard. I could bring it with me, but there was no guarantee I would have enough privacy or spare moments to take it if things turned bad with whatever was going down. Or, I could just wait until things settled and I was back home to take it in peace. The last time we were on lockdown, I was twelve years old and it lasted two weeks.

I ripped open the box and hastily took out the contents. I skimmed over the directions and popped the cap off, taking the test as quickly as I could before setting it down on the counter and moving into the bedroom to finish packing. The box had stated that it needed to sit for two to three minutes. I would have to check it later.

I had a few changes of clothes packed and decided to pack a bag for Jay. I doubted he had thought ahead to pack some things as he and Vince left in a hurry. I was checking things off of my mental packing list when my phone rang.

I ran to it, hoping and praying it was Jay. "Hello?"

"Jules.... It's Emily." I exhaled in disappointment.

"Em... I'd love to talk but I'm in the middle of something.. can I call you back?"

There was a slight pause. "Um... actually I kind of need your help.." Something was very wrong. Emily had a desperate edge to her voice that I had never heard before.

My fingers grew cold as I held the phone. "Em... tell me where you are."

Emily was sobbing now. "I... I don't know where I am. They won't tell me.. I was trying to surprise T.J... I drove to Chisholm to meet him. I saw some biker guys on the side of the road and thought they would know him, tell me how to get to the clubhouse. I followed them to some building and now they won't let me leave.. They started asking me questions and that's how they found out I was your friend..."

A lump formed in my throat. I closed my eyes tight. "Em... stay calm... Is there someone there with you?.." I heard Emily's voice shake as she tried to answer. "OK. Put him on the phone, Em."

The receiver rustled as her phone was being passed along. "Well, if it isn't my lucky day."

SHIT. I had heard that voice taunting me, teasing at me as I waited to find out my own fate, not knowing that Jay was coming to my rescue. "Shade..." I snarled.

"Didn't think we were on such informal terms, Madame. But there's always time to correct that."

I heard Em screaming in the background. "Don't do it Julia... whatever they say, don't" Emily could not finish her sentence, as the strike was loud enough to vibrate through the phone.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU BITCH!" Shade called out to her.

Adrenaline was coursing through me, my body now on high alert. "Don't touch her you sick piece of shit. She has nothing to do with this. What do you want?"

His voice was practically slithering around like a venomous snake. "Funny you should ask that darlin'. Seems your ol' man has been coming down pretty hard, getting in the way of my business..." he voice dripped with filth. "How's about we make a trade and you take her place while we finish negotiations with your little bodyguards?"

My head was spinning. Should I call Jay, tell him about Emily.. risk her getting hurt in a situation she would never have been in if not for me?. "Fine... where?"

Shade proceeded to give me instructions on where to meet them on the outskirts of town. I was to come unarmed, alone and they would make the exchange, letting Emily go. If they suspected that I had crossed them he made it very clear that they would hurt her and then kill her.

I put my phone in my cross body bag and grabbed my keys. I searched the night side le for a pen and quickly scribbled a message to Jay.

I'm so sorry... I had no choice

Opening the bedroom window I climbed out pulling it shut quietly behind me and snuck around front to my car. There were two bikes parked out front, but no riders in sight. Blue and T.J. were undoubtedly inside with Jean waiting to escort us to the clubhouse.

I climbed into my Prius and started the engine quickly, peeling out and speeding away before I could be followed. The directions I had been given were leading me to the old side of town where the many factories, once the lifeline of Chisholm now stood abandoned and decaying.

My phone rang loudly breaking my concentration. I hesitated before answering, wrestling with myself. I couldn't betray Emily now.... I was her only hope. I answered the call.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING LIL'S?!..." Jays voice boomed.

I searched for words, some sort of explanation that wouldn't compromise my friend. "I'm sorry Jay... I have to go... I have no choice... she's there because of me".

It took him less than a second to respond. "What are you talk.." I hung up as I was reaching my destination, eager to see Emily off to safety.

******

The building once served as some type of manufacturing plant. Most of the windows were broken and mother nature had long since started the process of reclaiming the space. I was escorted into a main foyer area by two large unbathed members of the Slayers M.C.

Emily was tied to a chair, gagged, wriggling around at the sight of me. I rushed over to her and held her close searching around the room assessing my surroundings.

"Can't seem to stay away, now can you little girl... seems like you always find yourself in trouble..." Shade walked out of the shadows, evil blanketing over his once handsome face. "Some might say you keep bad company...."

I stood in front of Emily, shielding her with my body. "We made a deal.... I'm here...let her go."

Shade nodded to one of the men sulking nearby. The man moved forward to Emily cutting her free of her wrist ties and gag. She gulped for air, rushing into me, holding tight. "Jules...thank god."

I held her embrace briefly before pulling back. "Em... you're going to get out of here." I handed her my bag and car keys. "Take my car.. go back to my house. Sit tight.. I'm so sorry this happened to you.. because of me."

I pushed Emily behind me and in the direction of my car, willing her to leave quickly.

Shade interjected. "Well, actually...."

I shot back at him. "We made a deal... I take her place, you let her go."

Shade smiled eerily at me. "I did say that now didn't I..." He suddenly grew bored, and waved his hand as if shoeing a fly. "However, I didn't say that my brother's here would let her go."

I gasped. Time seemed to freeze as I whipped my head around to face Emily, look in her widening confused eyes. The man who had moments ago freed her from her restraints had now withdrawn a pistol from his vest and aimed at Emily's delicate head. I watched her eyes close in preparation for the inevitable. She was fully aware of what was happening.

The shot rang out and Emily's body jolted as the impact tore into her temple. Her body buckled and crumpled in on itself falling to the ground. I started screaming and sobbing unrelentlessly as I watched my friend lie in a pool of growing liquid. The emotion was too much. The sorrow, the pain, the hatred, the helplessness. I collapsed, a never ending fall as my mind shut down, and leaving me to the mercy of my captors.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

JAY

I was racing as fast as my bike would tolerate, using my mind to will it to go faster. I had left pop and the boys behind miles ago, speeding past them, unable to keep position on our way to the hospital.

The police scanners had picked up activity from the old industrial park. An abandoned car, a woman shot... she had been airlifted to Mercy General.

I couldn't allow myself to think the worst. I had lost Lil's once and wasn't about to loose her again. I needed to stay strong. I always needed to be strong. FUCK. Self hatred filled my mind. I should never have left her. I should have taken her to the clubhouse myself instead of letting her sleep, sending ma to bring her.....

Lil's had snuck off about two hours ago, right through their fingertips. Assholes. Good for nothing prospect pieces of shit that can't follow the simplest of instruction. Thank god I had been nearby when they called to tell me that she sped off.

What the fuck was she thinking? She didn't make any sense on the phone.. We searched the house high and low for any signs of what the hell was going on. Nothing. Just a scrabble of a note and a twist in my heart.

The pregnancy test was left out, confirming what I had known for days. She was pregnant. She was pregnant with my baby and she took off for some reason. It didn't make any fucking sense. Maybe it's the fucking hormones making her crazy.

The hospital lane split off, veering right. I raced up to the emergency room entrance weaving my way through traffic. I cut the engine and jumped off my bike throwing my helmet aside, running through the main lobby looking for anyone who might work here.

Some guy in a white coat steps into view and I run over to him, pulling on his arms. "You've gotta help me... please... my girl's been shot... she's just been airlifted here..." His eyes were blank, void of all emotion before I could even finish my plea. Oh god, no...

The asshole cleared his throat. "I'm sorry... there was nothing we could do.. she..."

I took off running through the double doors into the emergency ward, searching for my girl. "LIL'S!!" I called out around every corner, into every room, and behind every curtain. A middle aged woman dressed in a nurses uniform came toward me with her hands up.

"Sir... sir... calm down. You can't be in here."

I tossed a metal cart over, grabbing my hair. NO FUCKING WAY! No way am I losing her again, not like this. I can't lose both of them.

"Please sir, let me help you... I can help you."

She can help me. Yes... yes.. I need help to straighten this out.. she can help. I let her touch my arm guiding me to her desk. I take the seat she offers me. I need her help.

An elderly security guard comes running through, but the nurse holds up her hand to him. "Jimmy, it's alright. Thank you. I can handle it from here."

The guard steps back but cautiously eyes me. I swear to god, he comes near me I'm gonna fuckin' break his neck, right here in the middle of the god damned emergency room.

"Sir, who are you looking for" The nurse calls out to me, drawing my attention back to her. I watch the guard from the corner of my eye.

"My girlfriend, my ol' lady.. she was airlifted here with a shot wound." I state matter of factly to her, knowing that once she knows who I am looking for she can help straighten this out.

The nurse types on her computer. "Let's see.. we had a gunshot wound brought in earlier by Medevac. She was unresponsive, but was identified as Julia Kaegan, aged twenty one years old, brown hair, brown eyes. She was found with her personal belongings and her vehicle was nearby." She stopped suddenly, staring at her screen. "I'm so sorry... she was pronounced dead on arrival by the attending physician"

The room grew cold. I sat stone still staring at the back of her computer. This can't be happening. She was pure, she was innocent. None of this shit was ever supposed to touch her. All the fucked up shit I've done in my life, I know I don't deserve her. But I love her and I swore to protect her. God no.

She's so young... she has so much to live for. She'll never grow old with me, she'll never get to hold our kids and grandbabies... SHIT. The baby.

I closed my eyes when the realization hit that if she was lost then the baby was lost... "The baby...." I let out hanging my head in defeat. This was it. There was nothing left for me.

The nurse typed on her keyboard, hitting buttons over and over again. "Sir... there was no baby... the patient wasn't pregnant."

I lifted my head in confusion, everything swirling around me a million miles an hour. "What?... yes she was.... I saw the test myself."

The nurse double checked her computer screen. I pulled the screen over to see for myself, as she jumped back, startled.

A hardened resolve set in. "I need to see her."

******

The morgue was in the basement of the hospital, with the service elevator being the only access. I had to lie to the administration and tell them that Lil and I were married and I was her next of kin to gain entry. I had left strict instructions for no one to disclose anything about her to anyone until I could make sure it was real.

Something just didn't sit right. You find yourself in as many close call situations as I have you learn how to trust your gut. Sometimes it makes the difference between life and death. I had to sign too many forms and grew impatient with the small spectacled man in front of me.

I grabbed his collar, a full eight inches below me. "Just show me the fucking body." The little pencil pusher dropped his clipboard quickly on his desk and led me over to a wall of drawers. Pulling on a large handle, the door opened with a plastic covered body expanding before us.

My baby couldn't be under here. I would know, I think if she were gone. Like some kind of invisible cord between us snapping, severing the connection I had always felt with her. If I was wrong, and this was her, then at least I owed it to her to see what I'd done. This was my fault, this was on my shoulders. I couldn't protect her.

The employee put on a pair of white gloves and carefully lowered the plastic. I closed my eyes. I had seen a lot of shit in my life. Hell, I had done worse to people than what was now before me. I could do this. I needed to do this.

I opened my eyes and moved over the young girl lying before me. I turned on my heel and headed back to the elevator. There was no time to waste.

The gloved man called out to me, curious about my sudden departure. "Sir, If you'll just please sign her release for the mortuary."

I turned in the open elevator, pressing the red button. "Don't have to... That's not my girl.”

TO BE CONTINUED IN BOOK 2

A LIL' LESS LOST

TO BE RELEASED OCTOBER 2014

About the Author

Tara Oakes is a new author from Long Island, N.Y. She lives with her husband and their

little pet family. She is an avid reader, a DIY'er and writer of all things romance. With several completed works, A Lil' Less Broken marks her debut into e-publishing.

When not writing or reading, Tara enjoys gardening (without much success) and all things Real Housewives related. Please feel free to contact her as all feedback and fan interaction is much welcomed and highly appreciated.

www.Twitter.com/Lil_Oakes

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Table of Contents

This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

BIKER FRIENDLY REFERENCE

CHAPTER ONESATURDAY

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOURSUNDAY

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIXMONDAY

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHTNOW

CHAPTER NINETUESDAY

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVENJAY

About the Author