Published By: Michelle A. Valentine Books, LLC

ebook edition

––––––––

Copyright © 2015 by Michelle A. Valentine Books, LLC

Cover Art: Romantic Book Affairs Designs (stock photo purchased) Edited by: Delphirose

—Rock the Heart edited by Cassie Cox— All Rights Reserved. This edition is copy written by Michelle A Valentine Books, LLC. No reproduction or utilization of this edition without written permission of the publisher. March, 2015.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

For questions or comments about this book, please contact the author at michellevalentineauthor@gmail.com

www.michelleavalentine.com

Table of Contents

Copyright Page

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The Black Falcon Series

Hard Knocks Series

The Collectors Series

A Sexy Manhattan Fairytail

Wicked White Series

(Black Falcon Series, Book One)

To my little rocker.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

A Black Falcon Novella (1.5)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

(Black Falcon Prequel to Rock the Heart)

Chapter 1 | Freshman year... | LANE

Chapter 2 | One Week Later... | LANE

Chapter 3 | End of Junior Year... | NOEL

Chapter 4 | One Year Later—Graduation Night... | NOEL

(The Black Falcon Series, #2)

Chapter 1 | AUBREY

RIFF

Chapter 2 | AUBREY

RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 3 | RIFF

AUBREY

RIFF

Chapter 4 | AUBREY

RIFF

Chapter 5 | AUBREY

RIFF

Chapter 6 | AUBREY

RIFF

Chapter 7 | AUBREY

RIFF

Chapter 8 | AUBREY

RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 9 | AUBREY

RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 10 | RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 11 | RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 12 | RIFF

Chapter 13 | RIFF

RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 14 | RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 15 | RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 16 | RIFF

Chapter 17 | RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 18 | RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 19 | RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 20 | RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 21 | RIFF

AUBREY

Chapter 22 | AUBREY

Chapter 23 | AUBREY

RIFF

A Black Falcon Novella (2.5)

Chapter 1 | AUBREY

Chapter 2 | ZACH

Chapter 3 | AUBREY

Chapter 4 | ZACH

Chapter 5 | AUBREY

Chapter 6 | Zach

Chapter 7 | AUBREY

Chapter 8 | ZACH

Chapter 9 | AUBREY

Chapter 10 | NOEL FALCON (Months later—Bonus Chapter)

Black Falcon, #3

Prologue | It Will Rain | Two Weeks Prior...

Chapter 1 | Closer | Holly

Chapter 2 | I Knew You Were Trouble | Holly

Chapter 3 | Rude Boy | HOLLY

Chapter 4 | Good Girls, Bad Guys | TRIP

Chapter 5 | I Wanna Be Bad | HOLLY

Chapter 6 | Love Crime | TRIP

Chapter 7 | I Said It | TRIP

Chapter 8 | Bringing Down the Giant | HOLLY

Chapter 9 | She Will Be Loved | Holly

TRIP

Chapter 10 | Gorilla | Holly

TRIP

Chapter 11 | Radioactive | Holly

Chapter 12

TRIP

Chapter 13 | Same Old Trip | Trip

HOLLY

Chapter 14

TRIP

Chapter 15 | It Is What It Is | HOLLY

Chapter 16 | Light Up the Sky | TRIP

Chapter 17 | Between the Raindrops | Holly

Rock the Beat Playlist:

Black Falcon, #4

Prologue | “Coming Down” – Five Finger Death Punch | One Year Ago...

Chapter 2 | “Mad World” –Gary Jules

Chapter 3 | “Pain Killer” –Three Days Grace

Chapter 4 | “Buttons”—Pussycat Dolls

Chapter 5 | “Man in the Box”—Alice in Chains

Chapter 6 | “Red”—Taylor Swift

Chapter 7 | “Behind Blue Eyes” –Limp Bizkit

Chapter 8 | “Desire” – Meg Myers

Chapter 9 | “The Morning After” –Meg Myers

Chapter 10 | “Wicked Game” – Stone Sour

Chapter 11 | “Through the Glass” –Stone Sour

Chapter 12 | “No Matter What” – Papa Roach

Chapter 13 | “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” – Panic At the Disco

Chapter 14 | “It Goes Like This” – Thomas Rhett

Chapter 15 | “Try” – Pink

Chapter 16 | “Change” – Def Tones

Chapter 17 | “Say It” — Blue October

Chapter 18 | “Nobody Knows” – The Tony Rich Project

Chapter 19 | “Creep” – Radio Head

Chapter 20 | “Slow Ride” – Foghat

Epilogue | “Marry You” –Bruno Mars | One Year later

A BLACK FALCON CHRISTMAS BONUS SCENE | “NOEL”

With Love From Riff | Valentine’s Day Bonus Scene

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Disclaimer:

These books are intended for adult audiences due to strong language and naughty sexual situations.

Michelle A. Valentine Books

The Black Falcon Series

ROCK THE BEGINNING

ROCK THE HEART

ROCK THE BAND

ROCK MY BED

ROCK MY WORLD

ROCK THE BEAT

ROCK MY BODY

Hard Knocks Series

PHENOMENAL X

COMING SOON –XAIVER COLD

The Collectors Series

DEMON AT MY DOOR

COMING SOON—DEMON IN MY BED

A Sexy Manhattan Fairytail

NAUGHTY KING (Releases March 17th 2015)

COMING SOON—FIESTY PRINCESS

COMING SOON—DIRTY ROYALS

Wicked White Series

WICKED WHITE (Releases June 24th2015)

Rock the Heart

(Black Falcon Series, Book One)

by Michelle A. Valentine –––––––– Rock The Heart (Black Falcon 1) Playlist Faithfully – Boyce Avenue Familiar Taste of Poison – Halestorm One More Night – Maroon 5

Forever – Papa Roach You Stupid Girl – Framing Hanley Fix Me – Ten Years

The Fire – Rev Theory The One That Got Away – Katy Perry Somewhere With You – Kenny Chesney It Will Rain – Burno Mars Pick Up the Phone – Falling in Reverse Casual Sex – My Darkest Days Never Be the Same – Red Somebody That I Used To Know – Boyce Avenue Erase My Scars – Evans Blue

To my little rocker.

I’ll always be your number one fan.

Love, Mom

Chapter 1

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I’m in the most uncomfortable seat in the entire world. The stiff, high-backed leather chair nearly swallows me whole, and my legs stick to the seat. If I didn’t know better, I would say someone left on the heat. A bead of sweat trickles down my spine, and I reach across the table to pour a glass of water. I can’t believe I’m this nervous. It’s only a board meeting, for crying out loud. The glass meets my lips, and I gulp down a drink.

My best friend of four years, Aubrey, pats my wrist. “Sweetie, it’s fine. This is no biggie.”

I muster up a smile and nod. Of course it’s no big deal to her. She’s been through countless marketing meetings. This is my first one. Sure, I’m only an intern, but proving myself could earn me a spot at Center Stage Marketing. I’ve wanted that since my freshman year in college.

Aubrey and I earned degrees from the University of Texas, and she somehow landed an assistant position to one of the top executives in the in the well-known New York company. They actually pay her to be here, while I’m just the annoying tagalong in training.

Diana Swagger, one of the most respected female marketing executives in New York and the president of the firm, strides in and sits at the head of the long table. She’s put together from head to toe—not one red hair out of place on her well-groomed head. Her black suit screams money, and from what I’ve heard about her in the staff lounge, she’s a no nonsense type.

Aubrey clicks her pen, ready to jot notes for her boss. Even though I’m only here to observe, I mimic her actions and do my best to pretend as though I belong.

“Can anyone read the goals we discussed two weeks ago?” Diana asks while she unbuttons her jacket.

A middle-aged man to Diana’s right rattles off a list that might as well have been said in a foreign language. None of Center Stage’s current projects involve products or companies I’m familiar with, but I keep my eyes trained on him as if he’s the most interesting person in the world.

“...And we received the go ahead from Black Falcon’s people to proceed with the children’s campaign,” he says.

That automatically catches my attention. Black Falcon hits a little too close to home for me. Most people know them for their music, but I know their front man, Noel Falcon. The star-studded rocker is a huge part of my past. He’s in every one of childhood memories.

Diana makes a note on her yellow legal paper. “Good. We need a volunteer to wine and dine Noel Falcon for a few days. We need him to know we’re serious about his charity.”

Everyone at the table busies themselves with paperwork. All of them avoiding Diana’s stare.

Diana peers around the table. “No one is interested? Harold?”

The man to Diana’s right looks up and adjusts his glasses. “Sorry, Diana. Rock stars aren’t well known for working well with us boring ad types. Last time I tried working with one, he blew me off then became irate that his marketing wasn’t what he had envisioned. No offense, but this isn’t the type of account I’m willing to take on. It’s a time suck.”

Diana leans back in her chair, steeples her fingers together, and presses them to her lips. “Is no one interested?” Her eyes scan her employees—all of them avoiding her stare—before they land on me. “How about you? You seem to be the only one interested in this account.”

Shit. Eye contact is a pain in the ass. I swallow hard, and my hand clutches my throat. “M—me?”

She leans forward. “Mr. Falcon would surely give a young, pretty thing like you the time of day. All you have to do is get him to spend some time with you and find out exactly what his vision is for the children’s charity Black Falcon is heading up.”

My throat goes dry. How can I face Noel again? I want to scream that I can’t, but if I want a job at Center Stage, I need to be a yes woman until I get my foot planted firmly inside the door. I can do this—talk with an old friend on a professional level. It might be a piece of cake. I take another huge gulp of water, trying to calm my nerves, while Diana stares expectantly at me. If I let my history with Noel slip, she might yank the opportunity away, and I can’t let that happen. Not when I’m so close to landing my dream job.

Aubrey nudges my leg under the table. She knows why I’m stalling. She’s heard the stories about Noel.

I set down the glass and nod. “I would love to take on this job for you.”

Diana smiles and leans back in her chair. “At least someone is willing to go the distance for this company. What did you say your name was again?”

“Lanie... Lanie Vance.”

Diana makes another note on the paper in front of her. “Does anyone have Black Falcon’s tour schedule? We need to get Ms. Vance to their next show and get things rolling on this.”

Harold types something into his tablet. “Black Falcon’s next show is tomorrow night in Houston, Texas. Then it appears they have a break until Rock on the Range in Columbus, Ohio a few days later.”

Tomorrow? I scrunch my nose. That’s a hell of a lot sooner than I expected. I figured I would at least have a few days to mentally prepare myself. What in the hell will I say to Noel? “Sorry for stomping on your heart four years ago. Oh, and by the way, I’m only here to land my dream job.” I resist the urge to bury my face in my hands. What have I gotten myself into?

No, I have to look on the bright side. Houston is only about thirty minutes from my hometown. It’ll be a free trip home for the weekend. I haven’t seen my mom a couple months, and I miss her like crazy. New York is a hard place to get away from. I can do this, right?

“Someone schedule this girl a flight for tomorrow and give her the run down on this charity so she’ll know what information we need from the band,” Diana says.

When I open my mouth to tell Diana I’ve changed my mind, Aubrey says, “Ms. Swagger, I’d like to volunteer to go with Lanie. She’s only an intern, and I could go along and show her the ropes on navigating clients.”

Ms. Swagger nods. “Okay, I’ll allow that. Go ahead and book a flight for yourself and Ms. Vance. Report back to me on Monday after the initial meeting.”

I slump in the chair. This may be the worst decision of my life.

Aubrey leads me into the hallway after the meeting is over. Every nerve in my body zings with adrenaline. This is my big break to show Ms. Swagger I deserve a job in her company, that I’m a marketing slave. The only problem is facing Noel.

Aubrey grabs my wrist and yanks me into the supply closet. “Oh. My. God.” She shakes her head, and her auburn curls bounce around her shoulders. “I don’t even know what to say. On one hand, I’m thrilled you have the chance to show these stuffy assholes some of those mad marketing skills, but on the other, I’m freaked the fuck out. Noel Falcon, Lanie?”

I sigh. “I know, I know, but what was I supposed to do? Tell Diana no because I have a painful history with the lead singer? I can’t admit that to her. This opportunity just fell into my lap. I’d be crazy not to jump all over it.”

Aubrey grabs my hands and squeezes. “You’re right. You can get through this. It’s only Noel Falcon. We go down there and take him to dinner. You’ll be fine because I’ll be there the entire time for moral support.”

I wrap my arms around her slender frame. “Thank you for doing this with me.”

She pulls away and pushes my dark hair back before resting her hands on my shoulders. Her emerald eyes bore into me. “You’re welcome, sweetie. There’s only one thing left to do...” Her lips twist, and she picks at my shirt.

I raise an eyebrow at her mischievous expression. “Oh no, I know that look.”

Aubrey’s grin broadens. “I can’t wait to see Noel’s jaw hit the floor when he sees you.”

I roll my eyes and do my best to look displeased, but deep down, I can’t wait to see that either.

Chapter 2

––––––––

The last chord of the song hums in my ears. I can’t believe I’m out in this blistering heat. The sun beats down on my back, and I just know my fair skin will scream at me later. But I have to be here, even if it is the last place I ever want to be—front row of my high school boyfriend’s concert. God knows where he gets the inspiration for his music.

The lead singer from the opening act, Embrace the Darkness, walks back onstage in his tight, black leather pants and ripped T-shirt. The crowd is predominantly women because my old boyfriend is a rock-sex icon. They scream even louder when the rocker grabs the microphone off the stand. Two fights broke out during the opening band’s set, so I’m a bit nervous to find out what will happen when the main act goes on, but I’m not leaving this spot. I’ve waited out here since the gates opened at noon. I want the best view possible to lay eyes on the first boy I ever really kissed.

“You guys are awesome. Thank you so much.” The singer smiles, and the rampant crowd of horny women shove one another even harder to get closer to the stage. “Are you ladies ready to drop your panties for Black Falcon?”

That gets them pumped up again. I look behind me and watch the waves of people scream. My ears ring, but I don’t want to look like a total wuss by stuffing my fingers in them in the midst of all these hard-core rocker chicks. That might get my ass kicked. The middle-aged woman behind me screams Noel’s name followed by “I love you” at least ten octaves higher than her normal voice. The woman shoves into my back, and I crunch into the iron fence in front of me.

“Give it up for BLACK FALCON!” the rocker screams, and my insides jitter.

I’m not sure why I’m nervous. It’s not like he’ll even remember me. He sees tons of women every night, and after a while, faces probably all start to look the same. My gaze glues to the stage. Noel Falcon enters from the right and looks just like I remember him—tall and lean with shaggy, dark-brown hair. He’s not the goofy boy I knew anymore. The past four years have been good to him. Really good. He wears twenty-two well. The dark, scruffy hair on his jaw brings out the blue in his eyes, and for a second, I kick myself for the night we broke up.

Noel stops center stage, wearing a sexy grin, and takes in the arena packed with his adoring fans. He’s close. I can practically reach out and trace the intricate tattoos on his arm. The spotlight beams down on him, and he points out to the throngs of people in the upper deck. The crowd goes nuts, but I stand there awestruck. Not because Noel Falcon, one of the hottest rockers on the planet, is five feet in front of me. He’s Noel Falcon, the first boy I ever loved. He used to be my best friend. The guy I thought at one time was my forever.

Noel pulls the microphone off the stand. “Wow!” He laughs as he stares around. He looks unbelievably hot in his jeans and tight black T-shirt. “I can’t tell you how great it feels to be back in my old stomping grounds. I grew up not far from here, so tonight—”

“I LOVE YOU, NOEL!” shouts the lady behind me again, practically right in my ear.

Noel flicks his gaze down and makes eye contact with me. Surprise registers on his face, and he pauses for what feels like an eternity to me.

“So tonight,” he says, still staring at me, “is a very special night. It gives me a chance to revisit my past. See people I haven’t seen since high school. The good and the bad.” Noel’s gaze leaves me, and he glances back out at the crowd. “Are you guys ready to rock?”

Noel’s band starts off with a fast song. Every person in the arena thrashes, pumping their fists and jumping like crazy Mexican jumping beans.

“Oh my God, Lanie, he totally recognizes you!” Aubrey squeals while grabbing my arm.

“No, he doesn’t.” I attempt to blow off her words. She has no clue how intense my and Noel’s relationship was. She’s only heard stories.

“Hello? Are you kidding me? He even just said ‘high school’ when he looked at you. We have to put these passes to use and get backstage.” Aubrey bounces in time with the beat.

Tonight for her is all about fun and meeting one of the hottest bands around, but for me...I’m not really sure what I expect. Noel’s always been the “what if” for me. The one who got away. Noel straps his guitar around his neck and haphazardly slings it over his shoulder. He grabs the mic with both hands and brings it to his full lips, reminding me of the way he used to kiss. He’d always put his entire soul into everything he did, including the way he loved me.

“Look at me. I see you now. The way we used to be...” Noel sings in perfect rhythm.

His smooth voice fills my ears, and it takes me back. I close my eyes and listen to his words. I remember all the times we sat on the old boat dock overlooking the lake that separated our childhood homes. That was our spot. The place we met in secret so many nights. The first place he sang to me. The first place we made love. It was also the place our love ended—where I told him to give up on his foolish dreams to become a rock star and do something sensible, like me, and go to college. I broke his heart when I said I could never be with a dreamer because dreams don’t pay the bills.

Look at what I knew.

He’s totally made it, and I’m struggling to land my perfect job in this tough economy with my “sensible” degree. Life without him has been lonely. A tear rolls down my cheek. How I silly was to listen to people who said that Noel was a loser going nowhere just because he loved music. We could’ve been happy. We could’ve beaten the odds. But I guess I’ll never know. Just another chapter in my life I need to walk away from because it’s too late.

I open my eyes to take one last look at Noel. His eyes close as he belts out the chorus. Sweat beads his face under the spot light. He’s truly beautiful. But he’s a stranger now. Someone I used to know. It’s time to quit torturing myself and move on. I’ll just have to kiss the job at Center Stage good-bye. “Aubrey, I need to get out of here. I can’t do this.”

Her pink lips twist. “Why? Because of him?” She points at Noel.

My eyes flit up to Noel’s face, and at that second, he looks down at me while he strums his guitar. His eyes hold mine for a second before I glance back at Aubrey and nod. “I have to get out of here. This is torture.”

Aubrey’s whole body slumps like a deflated balloon. “You know we can’t do that.” She sighs. “You have to suck it up and talk to him. You won’t get a job, and I’ll lose mine. Diana doesn’t mess around.” She takes my hand and pulls me through the crowd. I glance back and watch a pile of girls shove into our spot.

The arena is so loud I can hardly hear my own thoughts. We make it to the back of the crowd as the song ends. People scream Noel’s name while they wait for the next song to begin. When it’s oddly silent, I think about taking one last look before I walk out on him again—one last look to remember him by.

“This next song goes out to the girl who shredded my heart back in high school. It’s called “Ball Busting Bitch,” and Lanie, this one’s for you.”

My entire body freezes, and my mouth goes dry. What a dick! My blood boils and my fingers shake as I resist the urge to storm the stage and punch him square in the face. On second thought, that sounds like a fantastic idea. I lunge forward, and Aubrey snags my arm.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asks.

“I’m going to kick his ass,” I snarl.

Aubrey rolls her emerald eyes. “As much as I would love to see you do that, it’s impossible, and you know it. The guy probably has ten hunky bodyguards to protect him from the likes of you. Besides, we have to be civil to that cretin, remember?”

My shoulders slump. Oh, right. I have a job riding on getting Noel to like me. The last thing I want to do is talk to him, let alone be nice to him, but what choice do I have?

“You’re right. Let’s just get through tonight, get the info we need, then get our asses back to New York where we belong.”

Aubrey wraps her slender arm around my shoulders and gives me a little squeeze. “There’s the Lanie I love. Come on. Let’s weasel our way backstage and get to work.”

My fingers rub my aching forehead. This is a bad idea, but I reluctantly tell her okay. She grabs me in a tight hug—her vanilla perfume super strong in my nose—and leads me toward the Restricted Area sign with our backstage passes tight in her hand.

Chapter 3

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Being backstage at a rock show isn’t as glamorous as one may think. It’s filled with dirty, sweaty men—most of whom are overweight and look as though they haven’t showered in six months. Plus, the way they leer at me is creepy, like I’m a dessert ready to be licked. I shudder at that thought and grip Aubrey’s hand tighter.

“Damn, Lanie, loosen up. You’re killin’ my hand,” she complains.

I drop her hand. “Sorry. Where the hell is the band? Their set has been over for at least fifteen minutes.”

We come to a hallway filled with people and music equipment. Something tells me we’ve come to the right spot. The sheer volume of scantily clad women milling about shocks me. Some of them are even walking around topless as though it’s no big deal. I smooth down my fitted leather halter and jean shorts, feeling like one of the only modestly dressed women around. Do these girls have no self-respect?

Aubrey runs a hand through her auburn curls. “How are we supposed to get any one-on-one time with him in this freak show? Harold is right. Rock star accounts are definitely not the usual.”

“I don’t know, but we aren’t leaving until we talk to him.” I grab her wrist and tug her forward. “We’ll check every one of these rooms if we have to.”

Aubrey giggles uncontrollably as we rush from room to room, throwing the red doors wide open in search of Noel Falcon. Somehow we end up turning it into a silly little game of shocking people as we slam open doors. A majority of the rooms are locked or empty, but I have the feeling if we keep this up much longer, we’re going to get thrown out. The last room we come to has music blasting. Aubrey twists the handle, throws open the door, and shouts, “Booyah!”, causing me to laugh so hard I double over.

“Oh, um, sorry,” Aubrey says while yanking my arm.

I stand up straight, trying to curb my giggles, and stare right into the eyes of Noel Falcon. My smile drops completely off my face. Two topless women press against him, one on each side, and his arms wrap around them. A slow, lazy grin spreads across his face, and I feel the urge to hurl.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my old pal Lanie,” Noel says. “Please, by all means, come in and join our little private party. I was going to take it easy tonight and settle for just these two, but you and your friend are more than welcome to join in. The more the merrier, right, ladies?”

The blondes giggle and run their hands up and down his chiseled chest while they lean in and kiss each other. He continues smiling at me, loving that he’s paying me back tenfold.

I shake my head in disgust. “You’re a real piece of shit, you know that? Come on, Aubrey.”

Aubrey grabs my shoulders, holding me in place. “Lanie, we can’t. What about our jobs? We have to talk to him.”

I shake my head and glance at Noel. “Fuck the job. I’ll pass.”

I storm away with Aubrey close on my heels. I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to Diana Swagger, but it’s just too much. It’s way more than I bargained for. No sane person could speak to such a condescending, egotistical prick of an ex-boyfriend, let alone work with him. I’ll just have to find a new dream.

Aubrey keeps up as I blast past the people in the busy hallway. I’m so angry with myself. I can’t believe I let myself think this would be easy or that I’m even capable of facing Noel. The exit door flies open as I shove through. I gulp down the thick Texas air and push my hair back from my face. I’m not even sure how to find our rental car from this area of the parking lot, but I keep trudging forward. I need distance as much as I can get from Noel Falcon.

“Damn, Lanie, would you wait up? These boots aren’t exactly made for running a marathon,” Aubrey complains.

I sigh and stop in my tracks. “Aubrey, you just don’t—”

“What?” she snaps. “Don’t understand? If you tell me that one more time after I’ve listened to you pine after him for four freakin’ years, then I’m going to murder you here and now. Capiche? I know what he meant to you and how much tonight hurt you, but now you know there’s nothing left for you with him. You can move on. Forget about Noel Falcon and focus on your career. That douche is the only thing standing between you and your dream job, so go back in there and face him. Get your answers.”

She’s right. I can’t let my emotions get in the way of the biggest career opportunity I’ll ever have. “All right. Jeesh. You don’t have to go and get all mafia on me. I’ll think about it.”

Aubrey tilts her head and pops out her bottom lip. “Please, Lanie. Please? I need you as my coworker.”

I rub my aching forehead. She’s not going to let this go. Even though I know it’s a bad idea, I reluctantly tell her okay. She squeaks and grabs me up into a tight hug.

She pulls back. “You’re doing the right thing.”

I frown. Second thoughts plague me, and my gut twists into a knot. Maybe it isn’t such a good idea after all. When we return to the building, it seems even more crowded than before. We find ourselves weaving between people as though we’re in a packed night club. The red doors in the hallway remain shut, and I cringe when I think about what’s behind the last one.

Aubrey stops me from bursting into his dressing room again. “Sure you don’t want to wait for him to come out? I can only imagine what’s going on in there now.”

I shake my head. “No. If I wait, I’ll lose my nerve. We are getting what we came for. Do me a favor, though?”

“Anything.”

“When I toss the two hookerbots out, keep them out. I can’t fight both of them and get info from Noel at the same time.” I turn and shove through the door. “All right, everyone, get the—”

Noel glances up from his guitar and glares at me. “Can I help you?”

I shut the door, closing the two of us alone in the small room. “Where’d your sluts go?”

Noel’s eyes narrow. “Why? You jealous or...maybe they’re more your type now.”

“Fuck you.” It slips out before I remember I need to stay calm.

He laughs and strums his guitar. “No thanks. For some reason, I’m not in the mood anymore.”

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. “Look, Noel, I didn’t come here to fight with you.”

Noel raises a pierced eyebrow. “Really? Tell me, Lane, why did you come here?”

“Lane.” I haven’t heard that in a long time. Noel is the only person alive who shortens my name. I shake the memories away. This isn’t the time to reminisce. It’s time to get down to business. “Well...” I clear my throat. “I’m an intern at Center Stage Marketing, and my boss, Diana Swagger, flew me down to discuss Black Falcon’s charity with you.”

“You?” He shakes his head. “Out of all the people in the entire fucking world, they send you down here to talk to me. Did they think because we’ve fucked I wouldn’t fire you?”

My hands ball into fists. “How can you say that? I’m not one of your groupie whores. What we had was real!”

He lays down his guitar and stands in front of me—his six feet two frame towers over me. “Then why did you leave me, huh? If it was so real, why did you walk away from it?”

I can’t look at him. My reasons for leaving him that night on the dock are unbelievably selfish. Noel twirls a strand of my brown hair just like he always did when we were a couple. I slap his hand away. His touch is just too soon.

The corners of his lips turn down. He tucks the loose strand behind my ear. His fingertips linger on my cheek. “Why do you always fight the inevitable? You’ve always made things so difficult.”

I step away from him, but he closes the gap even tighter—his chest against mine. “There is no inevitable with us,” I say.

“Sure, there is. Fate brought you here, didn’t it?” Noel cradles my face. I try to pull away, but he doesn’t let me go. A smile flirts along his lips. “You look exactly the same. Still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” He brings his lips toward mine. His warm breath touches my face, and all I can think about is kissing him. Would it be just like old times? “How about a kiss? Don’t you remember how hot things were between us?”

My heart thunders with anticipation, and I bite my bottom lip. He runs his nose along my jaw, and I close my eyes and inhale his spicy sent. He smells delicious. Noel’s eyes search my face while his lips hover over mine. I feel his heat against my face, and my legs tremble.

He leans in closer but stops just short of my lips. “Now you know what it’s like to want something you can’t have.” His hands drop away from my face. There’s no emotion on his face, but his eyes look pained, and knowing I have this effect on him crushes me. Noel steps back and runs his hand through his shaggy hair before stepping around me and walking out the door.

The breath I didn’t even realize I was holding expels from my chest when the door closes. I feel as though I should have said something, maybe even apologized for what I did to him four years ago, but I couldn’t. The ground holds my feet steady when I hear the door open behind me. My heart falls around my ankles, and I think about how easy it’ll be for him to stomp on it. I don’t deserve any kindness from him, but the emotional smack in the face of still hurt like hell. This is Noel’s payback—to hurt me.

A small pair of hands rest on my shoulders. “Did you get your answers?”

I nod but can’t bring myself to face Aubrey. “Everything I needed to know.”

Chapter 4

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This is the first time since the start of my internship a month ago that I hate being at work. Admitting I failed will be hard. Noel didn’t tell me jack crap about his charity. The only information I have is that it’s some type of children’s charity. I pinch the bridge of my nose. He knew what the job meant to me. He’s taking this away from me on purpose, and it pisses me off. Aubrey leads us into the conference room for our meeting with Diana and the rest of the executive staff at Center Stage. My stomach rolls as I sit and scoot closer to the table. I fold my hands on top of the notepad I brought and take a deep breath.

Ms. Swagger takes her seat and looks at me before slipping on her glasses. “Ms. Vance, would you care to fill us in on how your meeting with Mr. Falcon went?”

The fingernails of my left hand dig into the skin on the back of my right. Telling her I screwed up will be like nailing my coffin shut, but what other choice do I have? I readjust myself. “Actually, Ms. Swagger, I—”

She holds up a finger before she pushes a button on the intercom in front of her. “Jillian, dear, there isn’t any water in the conference room. Could you see that some is brought in immediately?”

“Right away, Ms. Swagger,” the secretary replies. I can tell by her response that Diana always gets what she wants.

Without skipping a beat, Diana returns her attention to me. “Ms. Vance, can I just say I’ve never received a call quite like the one I got from Mr. Falcon yesterday.”

My heart leaps into my throat. Oh God. Here comes the boot. I need to do everything I can to keep my internship. “I can explain about that.”

Diana leans back. “Please do. It seems some of my account executives could learn a thing or two about reeling in a client.”

My brow furrows, and I glance over at Aubrey. She just shrugs. “I’m sorry, but I’m a little confused. What exactly did Noel, er, Mr. Falcon say?”

“We had a lengthy conversation about the long-term goals of the marketing campaign for his children’s literacy program, and Mr. Falcon is adamant that you take the lead on this project. He seems to think you are the only person on my team who understands him and his goals. Of course, I explained that you’re only an intern and that I felt it best for someone with more experience head this up, but Mr. Falcon refused. He said he wants you, and you only, or he pulls the account.”

My eyes widen. “Are you offering me a job?”

Diana smiles and removes her glasses. “Yes, with the stipulation that you are successful with the Black Falcon project. If it fails, then I’ll have no choice but to let you go.”

All of the other marketing team members focus on my reaction. Children’s literacy hits home for Noel. He has dyslexia, and reading was always a struggle. He knows that I know that. It explains why he thinks I’m the best person for his job. I rub the back of my neck as I feel the pressure push down. Even though I’ve known him forever, I don’t understand why on earth Noel would make that kind of request. He hates me; he made that perfectly clear in Houston. Why would he want me around more? To torture me, probably.

Is a job really worth all of this?

Yes. I have to grab this opportunity with both hands and do my best to keep my relationship with Noel strictly professional. I swallow hard. Those are some hefty stakes, but I’m willing to take it on. “Understood.”

She nods. “Good. Welcome to the Center Stage family. Aubrey, see that Human Resources changes Ms. Vance’s employment status to full time.”

I watch my best friend make the note in her elegant script. “Yes, Ms. Swagger.”

“Oh, and Aubrey, find this young lady a desk so she can get to work.” Diana winks at me.

After the meeting ends and everyone clears out of the room, Aubrey yanks me into a tight hug. “Oh my God, Lanie! What the hell just happened? Instead of getting the boot, you got handed a job on a platter. I thought you said Noel didn’t tell you anything.”

My head spins. All of this doesn’t seem real. “He didn’t. He seemed like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.”

She twists her ruby-red lips into a slight grin. “Sounds like he’s doing whatever he can to keep you close.”

I roll my eyes. “He wants to punish me for breaking up with him. You saw how he loved shoving those two naked skanks in my face.”

Aubrey sighs. “That was pretty gross, I’ll give you that, but it wasn’t like he meant to do that. He didn’t know we’d come busting through the door unannounced.”

“Yes, he did. He even invited us to join.” I growl in frustration. “Whose side are you on anyway?”

“Yours, always yours. You know that. All I’m saying is that he went out of his way to make sure you got this job. Would he really do that just to get back at you? Give him a chance. Maybe it was an off night. He might actually want to be friends again.”

I shrug. Damn her. Why does she have to be so rational?

Aubrey smiles. “When you meet up with him again, plaster on the biggest smile you can and win him over. He’s the key to keeping your job. Remember the old saying, ‘fake it ‘til you make it.’”

I nod. That’s exactly what I’ll do. “You’re right. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep this job.”

“Of course I am. Now let’s go pick out your shitty cubical.” Aubrey giggles and pulls me into the hallway.

An hour later, I sit at my new desk staring at Noel’s contact information. What am I going to say to him? Do I thank him for basically getting me a job, or do I play it cool and pretend his phone call didn’t pull any strings? Either way, I have to call him. Talking with Noel is the only way to get things rolling. The only thing I know about the charity he’s establishing is it’s for children’s literacy. I rub my forehead vigorously. It’s just a phone call. How hard can it be? The nerves in my hand twitch when I pick up the phone. Each number makes my stomach knot a little tighter, and when it rings, my skin grows cold and clammy.

Noel answers on the fourth ring. “Yeah?”

I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Noel? Hi. It’s Lanie Vance, and I’m—”

He chuckles. “Lane Vance, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

I squeeze the phone tighter. “Actually, I’m calling on behalf of Center Stage Marketing. I’ve been assigned to your account, and I wanted to touch base with you.”

“Touch base?” He laughs. “Listen to you sounding all professional. If you really want to touch my base, that can be arranged. All you have to do is ask.”

His nerve is unbelievable. “Ugh. You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know that. Thanks to you. You made that quite clear in Houston.”

Play nice, Lanie. Remember? This is harder than I thought. The sweet, sensitive guy I knew is long gone. He’s self-centered and egotistical. It’s taking every bit of my self-control not to tell him to shove this job right up his leather-covered ass. I take a deep breath and remember what Aubrey said. “You’re right, and I’m...I’m sorry about that. I was out of line, even just a moment ago. There’s no reason two old friends can’t get along and work together.”

Noel’s silent for a moment. “Friend, huh? Ouch.”

I shake my head. There’s no way we’re going down that road. “You know what I mean.”

“You’re right. We should be friends, but there’s one problem with that scenario.”

“And what would that be?” I bite my lip, hating the fact that I’m thinking of how sexy he probably looks right now. I picture him spread out in bed, shirtless, still exhausted from the night before.

“I can’t be friends with someone who hates me.”

The sexy vision of him bursts, and I’m thrown back into reality. “Noel...I never said I hated you.”

“You didn’t have to. I saw it all over your face,” he says sharply.

“That wasn’t hate.”

“Then what was it?”

“Disgust,” I say instantly. “Don’t you have any self-respect? You’ll sleep with any slut who throws herself your way? That’s not the Noel I knew.”

“It’s not like that,” he growls. “Forget it. I don’t have to explain anything to you.”

“You know what? You’re right. You don’t owe me any explanations. Who you sleep with is none of my business. My business with you is professional, and I really need some details about this charity. My job is riding on how well it turns out, so you’ve got to give me something.”

“So you got the job?” He sounds surprised and even a little excited.

I debate on which tactic to use, but I decide to play it straight. Noel’s not stupid. “Yes, actually, thanks to you. That phone call you made to Diana Swagger made it possible.”

“Good.” I can hear a smile in his voice. “It’s the least I could do after blowing you off the way I did.”

“Well, thank you for that. This job means a lot to me.”

“I know it does. I felt like a total tool and had to make it right.”

I chew on the inside of my cheek. It’s kind of sweet that he cared enough about my feelings to make that phone call. Maybe he’s not a complete dirtball. This might work. A small glimmer of hope shines in my heart for a split second. “So about this charity...” I clear my throat. “What is your vision for the project?”

Noel yawns, and my feathers ruffle. I’m boring all of the sudden? Two minutes ago we were fighting. I shake my head. I’ll never get a good read on this guy with his crazy up and down signals.

“These business calls put me asleep. I’d much rather see you in person to discuss everything. Maybe you can wear something skimpy to keep me focused on you and what you’re saying.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever.” Before I let my severely rude thoughts fly from my mouth, I take a deep breath and remind myself, yet again, that I need him to like me. I soften my voice. “That’s kind of impossible. It’s not like you’re right around the corner in New York.”

“Actually, I am in New York.”

My heart does a double thump. “You—you are?”

“Yep. Did some press last night for our next album, and I decided to stay a couple nights and check out the local scene. So, what do you say to dinner with me tonight?”

That’s a curve ball I’m not prepared to catch. “I don’t think a date is a very good idea. You’re my client, and that wouldn’t be very professional.”

“Don’t think of it as a date. Think of it as a business meeting.”

I look down at my notepad, and my hand freezes. Seven doodle hearts stare back at me. Is my subconscious trying to tell me something? I hope not. “A business dinner would be fine.” What’s the harm in meeting him for job-related reasons?

“Great. Give me your cell, and I’ll text you the time and place.”

We say our good-byes after I give him my cell phone number. Dinner with Noel Falcon? It’s been a long time since I’ve said that, and I wonder if it’s a good idea to trudge down old paths. I hope I can keep my head on straight and maintain a business relationship with him. God knows if he touches me the way he did in Houston, he’ll be pretty fucking hard to resist.

Chapter 5

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The cab stops at the corner of 57th street near the restaurant where I’m supposed to meet Noel. I pay the driver and give him a scathing look as he lifts his butt out of his seat to get a better look down the top of my dress.

Men? Are they all scumbags?

Nu Boo is one of the hottest restaurants in the city, which makes it very hard to get a reservation. Noel obviously managed to obtain one at the last minute, but I’m not surprised. He is Noel Falcon, and whether I want to admit it or not, he has magical connections.

I step up to the hostess and feel my face flush when she asks for the name my reservation is under. I say, “I’m actually meeting the other member of my party here. The name is under...” I hesitate and think about how absurd Noel’s pseudonym is. “Um, it’s under Dong, Long-Dick Dong.”

The young, blonde hostess snickers, and the flesh around my ears burns. I have no doubt my complexion is the same color as the slinky red dress Aubrey insisted I wear.

The girl regains her composure, and says, “Right this way, Ms. Dong.”

I want to crawl in a hole and die from sheer embarrassment. I spot Noel at a corner table talking on his cell. His laugh cuts through the dinner crowd chatter, and my stomach knots. He laughs the same way, and it takes me back to when we were in love. It’s only been four years. Memories of us together are still vivid. I bite my lip as I shake away those thoughts. Hopefully I can maintain a line between our business and personal relationship.

A hulking man steps in front of the hostess and me. He’s at least six feet five with a buzz cut and bulging forearms. He looks as though he can kill someone with his bare hands. “I’m sorry, ladies. Mr. Falcon isn’t available for pictures or autographs at this time.”

The hostess shrugs and turns to me. “You’re on your own from here. Good luck.”

I swallow hard and stare up at the big guy blocking my path. “I’m Lanie Vance?” The words sound more like a question than a statement. “He’s expecting me.”

The bodyguard’s eyes soften. His menacing look disappears as he stands aside. “My apologies, Ms. Vance. Please proceed.”

I tell him thank you then step around him. Noel glances up and notices me. His jaw drops a little as his eyes rake over my body. The surprise leaves his face, and a slow, sexy grin spreads across his devilishly kissable lips. He lays his phone on the table without telling the other person good-bye as he stands to greet me. Even in a simple white button-up shirt and jeans, Noel looks delicious. The sleeves of his white shirt are shoved up to his elbows, revealing tattoos covering every inch of his impressive forearms. The disheveled, sweaty hair I’d last seen is styled into a trendy fohawk, and his chin sports a trim goatee.

Damn. Why did he have to be so sexy? A girl can only resist so much.

“Wow.” He kisses my cheek and hugs me a little too tightly for a business greeting. He smells divine, like body wash and something entirely male. He trails his nose along my cheek and whispers in my ear, “You look good enough to eat.”

I pull away and place a hand on his chest to push him back. He drops his arms from around my waist. “Noel, you can’t say things like that to me.”

He tilts his head and studies me. “Why not? It’s true.”

My eyes flit to his mouth and stare at the way his lips move when he speaks. They are mesmerizing, and I take me a second to remember why I’m here. “Just because you can’t. Not anymore, okay? This is my job.”

I slide into my seat, and Noel pushes my chair in before sitting directly across from me at the tiny round table. He grins at me. “So no innocent flirting?”

I shake my head. “None.”

He rests his chin in his palm and stares at me with his big, blue eyes. “Is it because you have a boyfriend?”

I scrunch my eyebrows together. “What? Who said anything about me having a boyfriend?”

Thoughts of my last boyfriend, Cory, shoot through my mind. That relationship ended over two years ago. Since then, I’ve found school and work more fulfilling than dating college boys with one-nightstands on the brain.

He smiles. “If there’s no boyfriend in the picture, I don’t see why I can’t compliment you for looking downright sexy.”

I rub the back of my neck and toy with my hair. It shouldn’t matter that he thinks I’m sexy, but it does. Heat pools in my belly, and I fight the urge to trail my fingers over his skin. I can’t let him take control over this situation. I need him to like me, but I also need to keep him at a distance. We aren’t crazy, reckless teenagers anymore. The sweet talk that won me over in high school can’t go on now. We’re adults, and we need to act like it.

I readjust in my chair and cross my legs. “Well, thank you for the compliment, but I would appreciate keeping our relationship strictly professional. I have a lot riding on us getting along, so I would like you to refrain from those types of compliments.”

I cringe inwardly as I wait for Noel to tell me to get the hell out of the restaurant. I’m sure he’s used to getting his way nowadays. Putting him in his place probably won’t sit well with him. However, instead of harsh words, I hear Noel roar with laughter across from me.

A few heads at surrounding tables turn toward us. Does he attract attention everywhere he goes? I smooth the white linen tablecloth and try to pretend that his laugh isn’t kind of insulting. He finds it funny that I asked him to not sexually pursue me?

He wipes a tear away from his eye. “Lane, I never knew you had this little hard-ass business chick inside of you. I have to admit, your no-nonsense attitude is kind of hot. Plus, I didn’t know you thought about riding me. That’s one thing I know I can make happen for you.”

Great. That’s so not the reaction I want. He’s never going to take me seriously. I was a fool for thinking I could make this work. I grab my purse and start to stand.

Noel reaches across the table and grabs my wrist. His blue eyes blaze. “Wait, where are you going? We haven’t even ordered dinner yet.”

His fingers burn my skin. I stare at the ceiling and count to three to take my mind off how good his touch feels. I pull my arm away. “Professional, please.”

He raises his hands in surrender. “Okay, if I promise to keep things PG, will you stay?”

Does he even know how to do that anymore? His whole cocky, rock star persona probably warps his rating system of what’s actually considered PG.

I tuck my hair behind my ear and sigh. “PG? If you can do that, I’ll stay.”

Noel crosses his finger over his heart. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

I raise an eyebrow and pick up a menu. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Noel chuckles. “I don’t remember you being this fun back in high school.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t remember you being this much of a dick.” I duck behind the menu, bite the inside of my cheek, and curse myself for talking to him this way. I’m going to lose this job before dinner is even over.

He clears his throat. “You know, if you keep talking to me like that, I might have to show you just how nice I can be.”

“Um, that’s not happening,” I flip the page in the menu and do my best to ignore his outrageous flirting. PG doesn’t seem to be in Noel’s DNA.

“You say that now, but I remember how much you liked it.”

My throat tightens, and my thighs tense. He’s right. Sex with Noel was amazing, but I’m not going to let that happen. That seems to be his sole purpose in reuniting with me. Uncomfortable, I search for a quick out.

“Excuse me, miss?” I say to a waitress passing by. I’m relieved when she stops at our table and cuts Noel off. “We’re ready to order.” The cute blonde stands with her hands behind her back and commits our orders to memory. Before she leaves, I add, “I’m kind of in a rush, so the sooner you can bring our order, the better.”

The quicker I can get away from Noel, the sooner I’ll be able to regain my sanity. I don’t want Noel to know he’s having any effect on me. When we’re alone without a menu to hide behind, I stare at Noel. He watches me intently, studying my every move, and he makes no attempt to pretend that he’s not openly staring at me.

I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. It’s hard to be comfortable under his gaze. “What?”

Noel shrugs. “Just wondering what’s more important than your job.”

My eyes widen. “Nothing is more important than this job.”

He nods. “Good, I’m glad to hear that. It’s about to take up every minute of your life.”

“What do you mean?” I expect my new position will take up most of my time, but every minute?

Noel leans forward on his elbows. “I need to make sure the person in charge of marketing my charity gets it—how close I am to literacy. I’ve decided you have to come on the road with me to fully understand what I need from you.”

Go on the road with him? Is he insane? That’s unheard of and totally unreasonable. “You can’t be serious.”

“Why wouldn’t I be serious? I want to make sure you don’t fuck up my charity with your lack of experience. This means a lot to me.”

“Just because I’m not all that experienced doesn’t mean I won’t do a great job for you. Dyslexia isn’t something to be ashamed of. Lots of people have it. You should let other people know that you have it. You’ll inspire kids not to give up. But making me go on the road with you because you think I’m the only person who will understand why this literacy program means so much to you is...absurd.”

He flinches. “Absurd? You know what’s absurd? Calling the owner of a marketing company and demanding she give you a job, even though you aren’t qualified, because I feel like an asshole. The least you can do is come on the road with me so I can oversee this project and make sure I’ll be happy with the campaign.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any disrespect, but you can’t expect me to leave my life and ride on a cramped bus with you and a bunch of guys.”

“There’s only four of us on the bus, so I don’t think that qualifies as ‘a bunch.’ Besides, I’m hoping you’ll spend most of your nights with me in my room”—I raise my eyebrows and he smiles—“working on the project. The bus is the only place we’ll be able to meet without interruption.”

I shake my head. “I can’t. Besides, Ms. Swagger will never agree to that.”

Noel traces his lower lip with his index finger and winks at me. “You leave her to me. That old broad loves me.”

“Even if I protest?”

He shrugs. “It’s up to you whether you come with me or not. Guess we’ll see how much you want this job.”

“That is blackmail!”

“No, that’s where you are wrong. If it were blackmail, I would get something I want out of the deal. From what I can tell, that’s not going to be an option. Come on, Lane. I’m not asking you to fuck me—unless you want to that is. All I’m trying to do is help out an old friend and make sure my shit gets done right.”

When he put it that way, I felt like an uppity jerk. Noel did get me the job. Is it really so far-fetched that he wants to make sure I do a good job? Diana told him I have zero real-world experience when she tried to talk him out of using me for the position. But the Noel I know looks at all the angles, and I’m curious as to what his ultimate goal is. “I’m calling bullshit. Tell me, exactly what you hope to get by dragging me along on your bus?”

His lips quirk, and I know I’m right. “I forgot how well you know me. You’re right. I do hope to accomplish something with this little venture.”

I raise my eyebrow, curious as to what he’ll say. “What’s that?” Judging by the sexy twinkle in his eye, I have the uneasy feeling that I already know. My hand trembles as I sip my water, ruining the unfazed-by-you-Noel-Falcon look that I’m trying my best to project.

He leans across the small table. His nearness causes a chemical reaction inside of me, and I get hot all over. I take another sip of water just as he says, “The chance to get back inside that tight little body of yours.”

I nearly spit my water in his face. “Are you out of your fucking mind? How dare you say something like that to me?”

Noel’s smile widens. “Because you and I both know it’s going to happen. It’s only a matter of time before you give in. I already know every inch of your body and what you like. You want it just as much as I do. I can see it in your eyes.”

Heat burns between my legs, and I squirm. I hate that he’s having this effect on me. If I lose the upper hand, I could lose more than my job. I have to keep control. I shake my head and try to keep images of his naked body and what it might feel like deep inside me out of my mind. “No. Been there, done that. Not happening again.”

He leans back with a smug look. “We’ll see.”

Chapter 6

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I knock once on Diana Swagger’s open door before stepping through. She motions me to sit in one of the two brown leather chairs facing her desk. The New York City skyline makes an impressive backdrop as she sits behind her large mahogany desk talking on her cell. Diana’s red hair frames her heart-shaped face in loose waves.

Sinking down in the chair, chills shoot down my back as I press against the cool leather. My hands fold in my lap and I cross my ankles while I wait on Diana to finish her call. There’s no doubt what she wants to talk about. Noel is the only reason someone like Diana Swagger would grace me with so much of her time.

She presses the red button on the phone, tosses it onto her desk, and sets her green eyes on me. “Ms. Vance, I heard you met with Mr. Falcon for dinner last night. I suspect that went rather well?”

I stiffen. If I could give her some information about the charity without revealing Noel’s dyslexia, talking with her would be a breeze. Instead, I sit here dumbstruck. I’ve met with Noel twice and haven’t learned jack crap about his vision for his project other than he wants to force me to spend time with him.

Diana raises her brow and lifts her right hand. She wants me to speak, so I try to keep it vague. “Yes. It went well. Mr. Falcon seems like he has some rather big plans.”

A little too big if you ask me.

“I have to say, in all my years of doing this, not once has a client made such an outlandish request. Not only does he insist that I hire you, but he’s requesting I send you on tour with him.”

I shake my head. I told him she would never go for his little scheme. “I explained to him there was no possibility of that happening.”

Ms. Swagger holds up a finger. “Actually, I think this is an excellent opportunity for Center Stage Marketing. You will go on tour with Black Falcon and run the children’s literacy marketing account, and you’re also going to secure an exclusive right to Black Falcon itself.”

Black Falcon’s marketing? That’s major. How the hell am I supposed to pull that off? I can use Noel’s desire to get in my pants to my advantage, keeping him hooked long enough to get his charity off the ground and get me a nice cushy job, but I can’t string him along forever. Noel’s not going to hand over Black Falcon’s publicity to me without something in return, and that something he wants, he isn’t getting. I have no intentions of sleeping with a total womanizer. All he wants is to get back into my panties. Sex with him would be amazing, but a one-nightstand is not worth the risking career...or my heart.

I want to do this on my own merit. Diana will have no choice but to promote me when I prove I can sell anything to the masses and get Noel’s account under my belt. I rub the back of my neck. “With all due respect, I’m not sure he’s able to give us the entire account.”

Diana leans forward and taps her desk. “That’s where you’re wrong. You see, I’m a shrewd businesswoman. I didn’t get where I am by playing fair. Noel Falcon wants you on tour with him, and only you, at the expense of my company. He made that quite clear. So I agreed to send you but gave him a condition of my own. At the end of his tour in two weeks, he will hand over every marketing avenue of Black Falcon to us.”

That sounds an awful lot like a trade, and it makes me shiver. Is Diana actually telling me she sold me to Noel for exclusive rights to Black Falcon? That can’t be legal. I should say no. I should tell her to go to hell and walk away from the whole damn situation, but my feet won’t budge. I can do this. “Only two weeks, correct?”

Ms. Swagger nods. “Only two. They’ll fly by. All you have to do is keep Mr. Falcon happy, and your job here is permanent.”

Where else will this type of opportunity fall into my lap? I’m only twenty-two years old. Most people don’t have their own accounts until they’ve been out of college a few years. If I say no, I’ll be throwing away my dream. I square my shoulders. “I’ll do it.”

Diana smiles, and instead of being friendly, it seems slightly evil. My muscles tense, and I lean away from her. I don’t like the way she’s grinning at me, and the instinct to run like hell fills my entire being.

My cell chirps as Aubrey walks into the room. She rolls her eyes and smiles. “Mr. Wonderful again? You still owe me some juicy details about your dinner date, you know.”

I roll my eyes. “A lady never kisses and tells. Besides, you already know nothing happened. It was strictly business.”

Aubrey laughs and plops down on the couch beside me. “You, missy, are no lady. So dish.”

I shake my head. “Nothing happened. I swear.”

She folds her legs under herself and takes a huge bite of her double-brownie ice cream. “Bull. You expect me to believe Noel Falcon makes a romantic date with you and, after a couple of hours, together nothing happened? He’s texted you at least fifty times over the past few days, and there was no sex involved? I say bull. No man gets that sprung unless he’s getting a little somethin’-somethin’, if you know what I mean.”

I shrug. “Getting romantic with Noel is the last thing on my mind.” But getting naked and sweaty is the first. His aggressive nature pushes every hotness button in my psyche. It’s hard not to think about sex when someone who looks that good keeps talking about getting into my pants. But there’s no need to go into detail about how much I crave his fingers on my skin with Aubrey. My sexual fantasies aren’t really anyone’s business.

She eyes me and licks her spoon. “So he’s PG-13, huh? That’s kind of disappointing. Not much of a ‘Sex God,’ is he? I figured as much as you talked about him, he’d have had you out of your panties within the hour.”

“Aubrey!” I smack her leg. “I can’t believe you just called him that.”

“What? ‘Sex God’? I got the name from you. That’s how you always referred to him. I’m thinkin’ of revoking his title after the boring business date story you just told me.”

I had kept tabs on Noel while he shot up through the ranks of stardom. The internet is a wonderful tool for discreetly checking up on people. There are always pictures of him at parties surrounded by small mobs of women—even famous starlets who are notorious for having flings with rock stars. Noel’s been referred to as a “Sex God” by more than one article.

I have an idea. “Why don’t you meet us at a show or something?”

“Are you serious?” I can hear the excitement in her voice.

“Totally serious. I know how much you wanted to get backstage and meet the band, so I figure I kind of owe you.” I get my laptop from my bag and pull up Black Falcon’s tour schedule. We pick the next Texas date on the schedule so Aubrey can see her folks when she visits me and the band on the road.

My phone chirps again, and I snatch it off the table. I jump when it rings in my hand. I click the green button and say, “Why, if it isn’t my favorite stalker.”

Noel laughs, and I wish it didn’t make me smile. “That’s right, baby. You’re looking really sexy in that black lingerie. I’m so glad I have the perfect spot to see into your bedroom window from this tree.”

I glance down at my over-sized T-shirt and socks. “You’d be sadly disappointed if you actually saw what I wear to bed.”

“You know, clothes are overrated as far as I’m concerned. I’m good with you totally doing away with them when you visit me.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Noel...” I say his name like a warning.

Aubrey looks at me and rolls her eyes. “I’m going to bed. We can watch this movie some other time.”

“Goodnight,” I tell her before she closes herself in her bedroom.

“Telling your boyfriend goodnight, are ya?” Noel asks, his voice tight.

My heart pauses and then restarts. I grab a pillow from the couch and hug it tight. “What boyfriend?”

A woman’s loud, passionate moan sounds in the background. Is he watching porn while he’s talking to me? There’s a rustling noise and then the sound of a door closing.

“Noel?” I ask, afraid I’ve lost him.

“Sorry, I had to close the door. The bus gets crazy after a show. I can barely hear you.”

I shake the images of topless groupies out of my head. “Yeah. Sorry. What were you saying?”

He tsks playfully. “I was asking you about your boyfriend. It’s cool if you don’t want to tell me about him.”

I laugh. He’s being ridiculous, and that reminds me a little of his old self. “You know I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Good thing. I’d hate to have to hop a plane at this time of night just to kick his ass for messing around with my girl.”

I smile and chew on my bottom lip. His forwardness is kind of cute, I’ll give him that. “I’m not your girl.”

“Not yet but soon,” he says. “You know, I haven’t even thought about sleeping with another girl since the other night.”

I grin and poke fun at his comment. “Me either.”

He chuckles. “I’m so glad you haven’t thought about being with other girls. Chicks would be stiff competition for me. Although, I won’t say I wouldn’t like to watch.”

I shake my head. Same old Noel—always a jokester. Our little innocent flirting game seems fairly harmless, and if it keeps me in his good graces, then I’ll play along. “You know what I meant. Besides, you’re the only stiff competition I like.”

He groans. “That’s it. Where’s my private jet? The word ‘stiff’ coming out of your mouth is enough to send me over the edge here.”

We’re both quiet for a couple seconds. Jokes aside, I know he’s serious. He’s testing me. The line between our new relationship and our old love life isn’t clearly defined. It’s not entirely his fault, either. I look forward to his calls and texts. Shouldn’t I dread them?

He sighs. “Have you packed?”

I glance at my bedroom and think about the half-full suitcase on my bed. “Nearly finished.”

“Lane,” he says hesitantly, “I know you’re having doubts, but I told you, you won’t be my employee. You work for a real marketing firm—a huge one. This project will look great on your resume. Let me help you put that hard-earned marketing degree to use. Everyone who gets these kinds of jobs knows someone to get their foot in the door.”

Deep down, I know Noel is right. Center Stage Marketing is one of the largest firms in New York. His offer to put me in charge of promoting his children’s literacy charity is amazing. The only problem is the tour. I’m going to be stuck with him everyday. But I honestly can’t think of a way around it. He made it clear if I want this job, the tour is the stipulation. “I’ll be ready.”

“Yeah?” I don’t need to see his face to know he’s smiling. “That didn’t take as much convincing as I thought it would.”

“Well, you know, I would still be an intern if it weren’t for you. I would like to be able to pay my own rent for a change. Begging my mom to cover it while I intern majorly sucks. If it weren’t for her, Aubrey would’ve kicked me out of this place two years ago.”

“Having money is nice,” he agrees. “I remember all too well being a starving artist.”

“Please, your parents would never let you starve.” He’s quiet. I expect him to crack some joke like he always does, but it doesn’t happen. Did I step on a touchy subject? “Noel?”

He sighs. “Yeah, I’m here.”

I can tell by his tone that he’s frowning. I panic. “I’m sorry if I—”

“Don’t worry about it. I guess I should have told you that Dad and I really don’t talk anymore. For some reason, I figured you already knew that, seeing as how our families are still neighbors and all.”

I hadn’t had the nerve to face his parents since our breakup. They still live beside my Mom on Cedar Creek Lake. The only time I’ve had any contact with them was at my father’s funeral three years ago, but I wasn’t up for much talking. So much has changed in our lives.

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry if I upset you. You want to talk about it?”

The line is silent for a long time, but I hear his slow and steady breaths. I don’t understand. What could be so bad that Noel wouldn’t speak to his father? Doesn’t he know that family can be stripped away at any moment?

I know his father. He’s stern, the kind of man who always gets his way and people don’t cross. Those two always butted heads when we were kids, especially when it came to Noel’s grades. His father’s constant need for perfection and success wore on Noel. His father couldn’t grasp why school was such a struggle for his dyslexic son. Noel’s mother, on the other hand, is a lovely woman, and she was always considerate of Noel’s learning disability. I can’t even count the number of different tutors she hired to help him.

Noel is a mixture of both of them, I guess. His sweetness comes from his mom, while his need for complete control comes from his father. Since I’ve reconnected with him, it seems as though his father’s genes are winning out. He’s pushy, just like him. He always tried to please his father, but something in the last four years has changed, and I’m dying to find out what.

“Noel, I mean it. We’ve been friends a long time. You can tell me.”

He lets loose a loud, shaky sigh. “It’s nothing. Forget I even brought it up.”

I press the pillow tighter against my chest and, for some reason, I wish it’s Noel. The need to wrap my arms around him and tell him things will work out grips my heart. I know better than to believe him. Not being able to see his family, when they meant so much to him, must be crushing. He should talk with someone. If he won’t tell me willingly, I’ll have to force it out of him. “Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Bull. Shit. This isn’t nothing. Tell me. I’m your oldest friend, and I want to know what happened that’s so terrible you don’t see your parents anymore.”

Another heavy breath on the line—he’s wavering. Noel knows how relentless I can be. “He gave me an ultimatum. Go to college or get cut off.”

My eyes widen. “He threw you out? Your mom let that happen?”

Noel sighs. “She tried to stop him, but Dad was hell-bent on teaching me a lesson. The only thing he let me leave with was my car. Good thing that old Chevelle has a huge backseat. It was my home for quite a while.”

“I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve let you stay with me at the dorm.” The thought of him getting dumped coupled with getting cut off causes an ache in my soul. He didn’t deserve to be tossed aside as if he didn’t matter.

“I wanted to prove to you and my dad that I could succeed. That music wasn’t just some hobby for me.”

“You certainly did that. You should be so proud of your success and tell us both to kiss your ass.”

“I could never do that. That’s just not the kind of person I am.”

He’s right. I could never picture him telling me or his father that, but I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I deserved it. We both did.

“Fame’s a lonely life if you don’t have good people around you. People are so fake when fame hits. The only real family I’ve got is my band. These guys are my brothers. They know what all this is like.”

“When’s the last time you spoke with your folks?” I ask.

“I haven’t talked with my dad since the night he threw me out four years ago.”

“That’s awful.” My heart breaks for him. “And your mother?”

“Mom’s cool. She sneaks around and calls and emails me when she can. If it weren’t for her sneaking me money that first year I was on my own, I probably would have starved to death. Believe me, cheap, shitty noodles are the best meals ever when you’re starving and poor.”

“I always wondered how rock stars stayed so skinny with all the beer they drink. The starvation diet should be marketed,” I say, trying to lighten his mood.

He laughs. “You should totally head that up.” The tension in his voice melts away a little with my joke. I want to ask him a million things. So many questions linger in my mind about the possibility of fixing his relationship with his father. Some day I hope he’ll feel comfortable enough to share everything with me again, like he used to. For now, I’ll take whatever intimacies about his life he’s willing to give me without pushing too much.

Chapter 7

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The plane touches down smoothly at Columbus International Airport. I’ve never been to Ohio, never had a reason to go. Black Falcon is one of the headliners of a huge two-day rock festival. Noel assured me this is the largest rock event in the area. The sellout crowd is right around fifty thousand people. The sheer volume alone is crazy.

I grab my bag from the overhead bin after I text Noel that I’ve arrived. He insisted on picking me up himself even though I told him I’m cool with taking a cab. My flight arrived early in the morning—for rockers who sleep until noon.

My phone chirps, and I read his message: I’m at baggage claim. It’s crazy here. Don’t answer anything.

Two women ahead of me on the escalator complain about the crowd gathered around the baggage claim carousel. Camera flashes illuminate the center of the mob, and my heart thumps. There he is, signing autographs and shaking hands. Noel’s dark hair is wild, sticking up in every direction, as though he just got out of bed. What is it about crazy rocker hair that is so incredibly sexy? Dark glasses shield his face and emotions from his steady stream of onlookers, but I can tell he’s flustered. I didn’t realize how little privacy he actually has.

Zero. He can’t even go to the airport without a frenzy of fans.

Noel glances up from the chaos and notices me. A huge smile spreads across his face. I feel myself grin, and I instantly want to kick myself. Keep it together, Lanie.

How attractive he is is undeniable—even more in person than on the net or TV. The entire flock of girls in our high school crushed on him. Back then, I never figured out why he was so into me. I’m a Plain Jane—a nobody. Now that feeling is magnified times a million.

He squeezes through his adoring fans. A couple of girls shove their chests against him when he tries to get past, but it doesn’t faze him. Noel watches me with every step he takes. His arm wraps around my waist and pull me tight when I step off the escalator. He smells so good—like soap, spice, and man all rolled into one.

“Hey you,” Noel whispers in my ear, and his hot breath caresses my sensitive skin. “Don’t say a word to the leeches, okay?”

I nod, and his rough stubble rubs against my cheek. We gather my luggage, and Noel slings my duffel bag over his shoulder and picks up my suitcase before we head toward the exit. Bodies shove from every direction to get closer to Noel. The air outside is heavy, and my chest tightens. The sooner I can get out of here, the better.

What do these people want? The female fans are relentless—screaming and begging for pictures even when Noel politely tells them no. Men with high-tech cameras shout his name and ask him to look their way. A crowd smothers our every step.

Noel’s long fingers find my hand and pull me against him. It takes us longer than five minutes to make it to a black SUV by the door. We’re greeted by the large man I saw at the restaurant in New York as he holds the fans back. Noel opens the trunk and throws my bags in before ushering me inside the vehicle.

When the driver pulls the SUV away from the corner, Noel lets out a sigh of relief and pats my leg. His skin is so warm and inviting, which is dangerous. “Sorry about that. I should’ve had security come in with me, but I figured fans wouldn’t see me if I just ran in to get you.”

I shove his hand off my bare thigh and curse myself for wearing shorts. “It’s fine.”

His eyes gaze into mine as he leans his head back against the headrest. “You made it through your first fan attack. Think you can handle all this? My life isn’t exactly sane anymore.” His expression is serious. He’s asking me if I can put up with the craziness and make it on his tour for two whole weeks.

I inspect my arms under his stare. “I escaped your mob of female admirers without one scratch, so I think I’ll live.”

Noel grins—clearly pleased with my answer—and leans in to kiss my cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

Warmth spreads clear down to my toes. The things a simple kiss from this man can do to me are unreal. Being so hot and sweet should be against the law. It’s definitely an instant panty-wetting combination. Damn it. I’m in trouble. “Kisses aren’t very professional.”

He bursts out in laughter and pats my thigh again. “I kind of like this whole hard-to-get game. It’s going to make the sex that much better.”

I remove his hand from my leg and shake my head. He isn’t giving up. When we arrive at the Crew Stadium a few minutes later, my eyes widen at the number of people milling about at ten o’clock in the morning. “Why are they all here so early?”

Noel instructs the driver to Black Falcon’s tour bus. “There are forty-four bands here playing over two days. The first band plays at noon. It’s one massive party for the bands and the fans. There aren’t many events like this one.”

The SUV pulls up alongside the tour bus, and Noel hops out. I sit there frozen. Do I get out now? This is so not my element.

Noel waves at a couple of tattooed guys I recognize from the Black Falcon pictures I’ve seen. He walks around to my side of the SUV and opens my door. “Come on. I want you to meet some of the guys in the band.”

I take Noel’s hand and allow him to help me out. Butterflies tumble around in my stomach. How could I be so nervous? I should have prepared myself for meeting these guys. What if they totally hate the idea of me staying on the bus with them? We approach the two men with my hand still in Noel’s firm grasp. I try to pull away, but he tightens his hold. Apparently I’m not getting away from him.

The guy with jet-black hair and a bandanna tied around his head looks up and elbows the blond guy. They both grin as we approach.

“You didn’t tell us she was unbelievably hot, Noel,” Bandanna Guy says.

My eyes drop to the ground, and I run my hand through my hair. I can’t believe he just called me hot. No guy has ever called me hot. Well, Noel has, but we have history together. Most guys just refer to me as cute or pretty but never hot. Are all rock stars so freaking forward?

Noel punches the guy in the shoulder. “Don’t be a douche, Trip. Lane, this asshole is Trip Douglas, one of the best drummers in the business.”

Trip shakes my hand and glances at Noel with a cocky grin. “The best fucking drummer in the business.”

The blond guy beside Trip chuckles and looks at me. “Noel’s right. Trip is kind of an asshole. Unfortunately, I’ve always had to put up with him. Tyke Douglas.” Tyke holds out his hand. “The asshole is my brother. My twin actually, but please don’t hold that against me. And, oh yeah, I play bass.”

I smile at both of them. Now that he mentioned they’re twins, I can totally see the resemblance. The stark contrasts of hair color make them look completely different. Noel’s hand grazes the small of my back. “Lanie Vance. It’s very nice to meet you both.”

Tyke looks at Noel. “She’s too sweet. You sure you want to bring her on that bus with us?”

Trip laughs. “Especially around Riff. You better not turn your back, bro. He’ll be all over that shit.”

Riff, the lead guitarist, is a well-known womanizer. He is the epitome of rock star. He’s covered in tattoos and piercings, and his Mohawk alternates between blond and black. It’s crazy, but the girls seem to go nuts over him. There are always pictures of Riff licking, kissing, or whatevering strippers and randomly naked groupies on the internet. He’s kind of disgusting. Riff’s antics are one of the main reasons the band got so much attention at first, but Noel’s made plenty of headlines in that area too. The Douglas brothers obviously don’t know that I would never go for someone like that.

Noel tenses. “Riff knows better. Lane is off limits.”

Trip and Tyke look at each other with raised eyebrows. I get the distinct feeling that Riff knows no boundaries. Whatever they’re thinking, it isn’t going to happen. I am not having sex on this bus with Riff...or anyone for that matter. We say good-bye to the guys and grab my bags from the SUV. Noel insists on carrying them into the bus.

He stretches out his arm and invites me up the steps. “Welcome aboard Big Bertha.”

Big Bertha is a mess. It’s a huge R.V. with a full sitting area, cluttered kitchen, and beer cans stacked everywhere. The sink is full of dishes, and the garbage can is stuffed to the brim. The stench of sweaty man and rotten food makes my stomach turn. It’s almost bad enough to make me want to turn around and run off the bus. I could follow them in a car, couldn’t I?

“Now, I know what you’re thinking, but I promise we’ll get it cleaned up. It’s not always this bad. Being on the road without stopping tends to make the place a disaster.” He smiles at me. “Come on. Let’s take your bags to my bedroom.”

I freeze mid-step. “Your bedroom? I thought you were kidding.”

“Where else would you sleep? The four bunks are taken. You could sleep in one of the swivel seats up front. Trust me, my room is the best place. Come on.” He grabs my hand and pulls me toward the back of the bus. I follow Noel. “The bunk beds with curtains are where Riff, Trip, Tyke, an my bodyguard, Mike, sleep. Being the leader gives me special rights to the only bedroom.”

I roll my eyes. I’m sure he shoves his status in their faces anytime he can, just like he does to me. We step inside the bedroom, and I’m surprised by its tidiness. The full-size bed takes up most of the room, but some stage drawers are built into the walls and under the bed.

“Put your clothes wherever you can find room. I know it’s tight in here, but it’s better than sleeping in the little foxholes. They can make anyone feel claustrophobic.” He shuts the door, trapping us, and wraps his arms around me. I tense as I breathe in the spicy scent and the unmistakable smell of Noel. “Now that I have you all to myself, let me give you a proper hello.”

I place my hand against his chest. “This isn’t how it’s going to work. I didn’t agree to this deal to be your sex slave.”

He backs me against the door and places a hand on either side of me, trapping me. My arm feels like Jell-O as I try to hold him back. I swallow hard as he leans in and traces his nose along my jaw. “Sex slave? Hmmmmm, I kind of like the sound of that.”

I shove him back a little and shake my head. “Don’t get any ideas. That isn’t happening. I came here for business, remember?”

He threads his fingers into my hair. “I don’t see why we can’t mix a little pleasure in too. Don’t you remember how hot we were together? God.” He takes a quick breath through clenched teeth and runs his hand down my side. “The things I can do to your body if you’d let me.”

My nerves jitter. Noel’s skin is so warm, and I swear he’s leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Fire spreads from my core, causing an ache I didn’t know was possible. I’ve dreamt of his touch for four years. I want him so much, but I can’t let this happen. If I give in, he’ll tire of me quickly, and not only will my heart break, but my dreams for a killer job will be crushed.

He takes a strand of my hair between his fingers. The corners of his lips turn up, and he tucks the loose hair behind my ear. His fingertips linger on my cheek. “You look exactly the same. Still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” He brings his lips toward mine. Warmth from his breath touches my face, and all I can think about is his kiss. What it will feel like? Will it be just like old times?

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” My heart thunders, and I bite my lip.

“You know I’ve never been great at resisting beautiful women.” Noel’s eyes search my face.

I should tell him to back off. Saying no right away would be smart, but I stare deep into his blue eyes and I can’t kid myself. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life. Resisting him is so damn hard. “I—I don’t think—”

Noel cradles my face. A smile flirts along his lips. “Don’t think, Lane, just feel.”

That’s the problem. If I feel too much for him, this won’t end well. I can’t let this happen. “We should really get to work.”

He rubs his nose against mine. “One kiss and I’ll behave all day.”

I swallow hard and try to pretend the mere touch of his skin isn’t sending my body into overdrive. If he only knew the effect he’s having on me right now. It’s been far too long since I’d been with a guy—over a year, actually. He’s lucky I don’t strip him down here and now. I shake that thought out of my head, and Noel pulls back a little. I say, “That can’t happen. I don’t have those kinds of feeling for you anymore.”

He raises an eyebrow, and his grin turns wicked. “Are you sure about that? Don’t forget, I know you. I know how you tick and what you”—his eyes scan the length of my body, lingering on my breasts—“want.”

Damn him. I shove his chest. “You’re wrong.”

Noel laughs as he pushes away from the wall and gestures me farther into the room. “Well if you’re sure you don’t require any further assistance from me, I’ll leave you to it. But...if you change your mind—”

“I won’t,” I snap and step past him. I can’t even look at the smug expression I know he’s wearing.

He chuckles while he lets himself out of the bedroom, and I let out a sigh of relief.

Chapter 8

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Five Finger Death Punch rocks out hard on the stage, and the audience is insane. I count at least five mosh pits not far from the front row. Girls sit on guys’ shoulders and flash their bare breasts at the band while the crowd eggs them on. Some must’ve gotten tired of tops altogether and sit there without a shirt while rocking out. Crazy.

Some sort of wild energy in the air has everyone hyped. Even I feel it, and I bob my head to the beat. Now I know what Noel is talking about. This is a major rock event, and everyone is enjoying themselves to the fullest. Some sort of spell sucks you into the moment here.

Backstage is busy as well. There are people everywhere I turn. I recognize a few of the bands from music videos or tour posters I’ve seen, but the rest of the people are faceless strangers. A few giddy female fans mill about and gush over their favorite bands, and I smile every time one of them mentions Black Falcon. Those girls don’t bother me much. They seem harmless. I don’t think they’re backstage to attempt to get in the band members’ pants.

The hardcore groupies and strippers, on the other hand, have a different agenda. It’s as if they’re on a mission to get laid by the most famous guy that will have them. A few of them even hit on the female rockers. Pathetic, really. What would drive a woman to want to be used for sex so badly? They must have some serious Daddy issues.

A crowd gathers by the steps to the stage area where I am. Cameras flash, and I strain to see if Noel’s back from his band meeting. People cram in tightly, pushing to gain every inch they can toward their target. Riff makes it to the top step while he signs autographs and kisses female admirers. I sigh—still no Noel. I tilt my head, curious as to what it is about Riff that drives the girls wild. I just can’t figure it out.

Sure, he’s really cute, even a blind woman can see that, but that alone wouldn’t make me want to sleep with him. What kind of person is he? I don’t judge, but I’m not going to sleep with a person based off looks alone. I’m no slut.

Security cuts the girls off on the stage. “Sorry, ladies, this area is off limits.”

The girls all whine and beg to follow Riff. My eyes dart to Riff, and he smiles when he catches me staring at him. He walks toward me, his eyes never leaving me once.

“Damn, you’re sexy,” Riff says as his eyes rake slowly over my body. His gaze stops on my breasts. I narrow my eyes at him. He doesn’t seem the least bit bothered that I have the look of red death pointed directly at him. He pulls a piece of gold paper from his pocket. “This Golden Ticket grants you access to my pants when our set is over. Hold on to it tight and give it to the security that guards the buses. They’ll let you through. I only give away one or two of those a night. Consider yourself a lucky lady.”

He stuffs the paper into my hands, and I furrow my brows. Is he serious? Does he think that just because he shoves some gold paper in my hand I’ll instantly drop my panties for him? I shake my head and try to hand him back the paper. “No thanks.”

“Not interested?” Riff laughs. “Sweetie, that’s cute, but you don’t have to play hard to get. I know why you’re back here, and I can guarantee there’s no better time to be had than the one you’ll get with me.” He licks his lip and runs his hand down my arm. His skin on mine makes my blood boil. How dare he think he can just touch me like that?

I slap the paper into his chest. “I’m waiting for someone, you asshole. I’m not some random fucking groupie.”

Surprise registers on his face and then a slow grin. “You’re feisty. I like that.” He tilts his head. “What a shame. We could’ve been pretty awesome together. You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

I huff as Riff lets the paper fall. It lands by his feet, and he smirks before he turns and walks away. What I wouldn’t give for murder to be legal. I should kill that asshole for the benefit of all womankind.

Noel finds me about ten minutes after my run-in with Riff. At first I think about telling Noel, but I decide against it. Their chemistry has to be on point in front of this many people. I can always tell him about it later. Besides, I’m sure Riff will feel like a jackass when he discovers who I am.

Noel’s white T-shirt strains against his chest and biceps as he wraps his arms around me. “Are you going to watch my set?”

I try to pull his arms away, but Noel grins and squeezes me tighter. I sigh. “Not if you keep manhandling me.”

His laugh rumbles in his chest, and our pelvises smash together. “I think if you keep rubbing against me like that, I’m going to take you back to the bus and fuck you right now.”

I raise an eyebrow and fight the urge to smack his smug face. “You wish. Besides, if you disappoint your fans, they might just fire your conceited ass.”

Noel’s hands cup my face. He leans in for a kiss but stops just inches from my lips when I resist. He licks his lips. “It might just be worth it.”

A laugh escapes me, and I immediately cover my mouth. My eyes widen as I realize I’ve let my tough shell crack a bit. He’s so damn forward and it’s kind of comical.

He growls and pulls me against his warm body. “You know it drives me crazy when you giggle.” He cups my butt and presses the bulge in his pants against me. “See what you did? How am I supposed to go in front of fifty thousand people like this?”

I laugh and pull away. “Not my problem. You’ll just have to hide it behind your guitar.”

An impatient stage manager appears out of nowhere. “Noel, we need you in position.”

Noel takes a heavy breath. “Okay, gotta go. See you after we’re done.”

He smiles and heads toward the stage. Another giggle bubbles out of me when he adjusts his pants and picks up his guitar. Poor Noel. Smug satisfaction, mixed with a little guilt, surges through me. My eyes glue onto Noel’s backside until he’s out of sight. I must admit his butt is really nice. Okay, okay—it’s damn near perfect. No wonder so many women lust after him.

The crowd chants for Black Falcon to take the stage. It’s not surprising considering people really love Noel’s band. They’re one of the most-played bands on the charts. Noel’s dream of millions of people hearing his music has most definitely arrived. Some critics say they could be one of the next greats, throwing them in line with bands like the Beatles, Queen, Aerosmith—bands that changed the face of music. I always knew Noel was great, but I never realized how great until the rest of the world discovered him. It’s as if he walks on water to his fans. The band is his life, and I couldn’t be happier he allowed me back into his world, considering I dumped him after graduation.

I take a couple steps toward the stage. It’s definitely the best spot in the stadium to watch a Black Falcon performance. A woman with bright red hair, whom I recognize from the music video channel, steps out on to the stage. She’s this weekend’s host and hops from stage to stage introducing the bands. The crowd roars as she waves to them, wearing her skin-tight black leather pants and halter top.

She brings the mic to her lips and asks, “Are you fuckers ready for one of the best damn bands at this festival!”

I scream along with the crowd.

“These guys are one of my personal favorites, not to mention they look pretty fucking amazing, too. Right, ladies?” She pauses for crowd reaction. “Give it up for BLACK FALCON!”

Trip takes the stage first and throws up a metal sign. People scream as the black-haired rocker takes his seat and gives the bass drum a kick. Tyke comes out second and picks up his bass guitar. Screams erupt when he thumps out a couple cords. The twin brothers look at each other and smile as though they have a secret, and it drives the fans nuts.

Riff and Noel come onstage together. My eardrums feel as though they’re about to explode from the sheer volume in the stadium. Noel glances my way, and I wave. Riff, still clueless, smirks at me and wiggles his tongue while his back is to Noel.

Dear God, does that asshole think I’m here for him? I roll my eyes at Riff, and he smiles before he puckers his lips. He just doesn’t get it and won’t take no for an answer.

The band kicks up and plays their intro song. I do my best to stare past Riff and watch Noel, but every time Riff sees me, he makes sexual gestures of some kind—once even thrusting his hips while stroking his guitar. The crowd loves it, of course, but I’m about five seconds from losing the bagel I ate on the airplane.

Noel leans into the mic and wraps both hands around it. He licks his lips and closes his eyes. The red stage lights on him causes stirs in me. It’s as if it highlights him as the most sexually pleasing man I know. My knees buckle when he belts out a love song. The audience sings along to every word. I sway to the beat but never take my eyes off of him.

Something flies onstage at Noel’s feet. I look down and realize it’s a thong. Women are actually throwing their disgusting panties at him. Several more join the first one at Noel’s feet.

Riff steps up to his mic. “That’s what I like to see. Horny women! Damn.” He points into the crowd. “You fuckers better not let all that pussy go to waste. Now show me some titties.”

Men throughout the place cheer and chant, “GET NAKED! GET NAKED!”

A couple girls near the front row climb onto guys’ shoulders, rip off their tops, and shake their boobs at Riff and Noel. My fists clench, and I have half a mind to go yank them down and ask just where do they get off shoving their breasts in Noel’s face. Thankfully Noel just shakes his head at Riff and laughs. I relax a little. I remind myself that this is part of Noel’s life. It’s all an act. He won’t be screwing around with those girls later just because they flashed him. I walked in on him with those two sluts back in Houston, but I don’t think he’d do that now that I’m here. Would he?

Riff, on the other hand, I’m not so sure about. Several times when I spoke to Noel after a show, he’d told me Riff had some random groupie in his foxhole with him. I could even hear the girls screaming in pleasure. It was disgusting.

Riff glances at Noel, points at one topless girl, and nods. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

I shake my head. Riff is a complete sex fiend. The only reason he’s in a band is probably for the women. Noel’s smooth voice shoots over the crowd. I close my eyes. It’s like a beautiful lullaby. For a hard-rock band, they could sure play a sweet ballad.

I open my eyes, and my gaze locks on Noel’s. He sings about the love of a good woman, and I feel a blush creep up my neck. When the chorus hits, he breaks our stare and faces the audience. Cell phones light up across the sea of people, and they dance like fireflies at dusk. The song ends, and the crowd roars until Trip pounds out a fast beat. Tyke and Riff join in, and the next song zings to life.

Noel’s voice changes to the signature growl he likes to use when the band rocks out. He yanks the mic off the stand and bends at the waist to belt out a note. The crowd hypes up when he runs from one corner of the stage to the next. Girls stretch out their arms, hoping to touch him, and guys reach out for a high five. Everyone wants a piece of him.

The song ends, but the guys play an extra few bars to allow Noel time to thank the crowd before they wrap up their set. Tyke waves to the fans before he heads offstage. Riff throws out guitar picks, and Trip wings his sticks out to the people in the back. Noel wipes his face with a white hand towel that he tosses into the mass of people. About ten fans shove and grab for the towel before one lucky guy yanks it into his grasp. The life of a rock star is unreal.

Big Bertha is quiet when Noel and I climb inside, which is a relief. We had to fight our way through a ton of screaming women on the other side of security. Those guys in the yellow shirts put up with a lot of crap to protect the stars.

Noel’s sweat-drenched shirt clings to his sculpted chest. His fohawk is a flat disaster. “I need to go shower. I’ll only be a few minutes. Wait for me right here?” He brings my right hand up to his lips and kisses my fingertips.

A rush of warmth spreads through me before I pull away. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Noel grins before he rushes off toward the small bathroom on the bus. My stomach rumbles. I’ve forgotten to eat during the midst of this crazy day. I step over to the kitchen area and open a couple of cabinet doors. No food. What do these guys live on? Beer? I bend down to check the bottom shelves.

“I knew you’d be here.”

I hear the door slam shut and stand to face Riff.

“The ladies never turn down the Golden Ticket.” Riff’s arm stretches above his head as he balances his weight against a top cabinet. He’s shirtless, and I can clearly see the tattoos across his arms and chest. Both of his nipples are pierced, along with his bottom lip, and his hair still stands in his trademark Mohawk. A slow grin pulls across his face as I pull at the legs of my shorts, hoping to cover some more skin. His eyes trace the curves of my body. He pulls his arm down and takes a step.

I hold out my hand, palm up. “Stop right there.”

Riff reaches out for my hand, but I snatch it away. “Baby, I told you. No need to play hard to get. I won’t tell anyone that you fucked me.”

My eyes widen. “You’re really full of yourself, you know that?”

He smirks. “Only when it comes to women.”

I roll my eyes. “I hate to break it to you, but not every woman on the planet is willing to sleep with you.”

“Maybe.” He shrugs. “But I can tell that you want me.” He takes another step toward me, and I try to back away.

I bump against the cabinets behind me. I shove my hand into his chest and shake my head. “No, I don’t want you. I’m here with—”

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.” Riff strokes my shoulder. “No more talking.”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Noel growls from the hallway, wearing a low-slung towel while water beads speckle his chest.

Riff jumps at the sound of Noel’s voice. He releases me and steps back. His eyes lock on my face. “You’re Lanie?”

I nod and glance at Noel. “I tried to tell you I was with someone when you first tried to shove that ticket thing in my hand.”

Noel’s eyes narrow at Riff. “You gave her one of your fucking Golden Tickets? I’m going to fucking kill you.” Noel lunges at Riff, but he reacts just quickly enough to stay out of Noel’s grasp.

I throw my hands against Noel’s chest. “It’s okay. Let it go. He made a mistake.” I point my glare at Riff. “Right?”

Riff stares Noel down. “Yeah, we wouldn’t want to accidently steal each other’s woman, would we?” Riff’s tone makes me flinch.

The muscles in Noel’s jaw clench. “You stay away from her. Or so help me God, Riff, I will end you.”

I swallow hard. I’ve never seen pure malice until now. Noel’s expression and body language clearly says he wants to rip off Riff’s head and spit down his throat. The tension between them can’t honestly be about me, can it? It feels more personal than just a case of mistaken identity. Riff and Noel stare each other down. There’s obviously some bad history between these two, and I’ve just added fuel to the fire. Something has to give. I can’t let the band struggle because of me. The situation needs to be diffused.

I pull on Noel’s arm. He tilts his head and gazes at me. I grab his hand and tug him toward the bedroom. “Come on. I want to show you something.”

Noel stares at Riff, as if he’s debating on if he should just pummel him and get it over with. Finally, he nods and follows me down the hallway, leaving Riff alone in the front of the bus.

In the bedroom, Noel sits on the edge of the bed while I close the door. He drops his head and combs his hand through his thick, dark hair. The bed gives a little when I sit beside him. His back is smooth and clean, and I run my fingers along it in attempts to comfort him. The smell of soap lingers on his skin. He doesn’t respond to my touch—his gaze points toward the floor.

I stare at the star tattoo on his right shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. He didn’t realize who I am, and I doubt he’ll do it again.”

Noel rubs his palms together. “You don’t know him like I do. Riff doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants, including women. I won’t let him use you like that.”

I want to laugh. Doesn’t he know me at all? “He’s not going to get me. I’m not like the random sluts he’s used to seeing you with.”

Blue eyes meet mine. “No, you’re not.” He searches my face, and his brow pulls in. He opens his mouth then closes it and turns away. “You better get ready. One hell of a party is about to go down.”

Chapter 9

––––––––

I wiggle a bit between Noel and Riff in the back of the SUV on the way to a humongous after-party for all the bands who performed at Rock on the Range. The A&R Music Bar in Columbus hosts the bash for millionaire bad-boy rock stars, roadies, and of course, their groupies. It takes forever to get close to the building. Hoards of people surround the bar, hoping to catch a glimpse of their favorite rock stars, and are blocking traffic halfway down the street.

When the vehicle finally stops near the back entrance, Mike, Noel’s bodyguard from the restaurant, hops out and opens the door for us. Trip and Tyke grin at each other before emerging into the mass of fans. They love the attention. They hug several screaming females and even stop to sign a couple of bare boobs thrust in their direction. Riff looks at me and winks before he jumps out.

I roll my eyes. Of course he would love this. I slide over to follow Riff, and Noel lays his hand on top of mine.

He says, “Stay by me in here. Shit like this gets crazy. Don’t accept drinks from anyone other than me or Mike. There are real assholes who would love to get in your pants.”

I raise my eyebrow. “They can’t be any worse than you.”

His mouth pulls into a tight line. “You have no idea.”

Inside, the club is like something out of a music video. Bodies writhe to the beat of the rock song echoing throughout the room. Strobe lights flash in every direction, and women wearing bikinis dance in cages. One woman next to me reaches through the bars and strokes my arm. Her touch catches me off guard, and I instinctively jerk away. Noel chuckles beside me.

I narrow my eyes at him. “So not funny.”

His smile widens. “Get used to it, babe. When you’re with me, everyone’s going to want a piece of you.”

“Gross.”

He throws his arms around me and leans into my ear. “What’s it like to know you’re with the one guy in this room every woman wants to fuck?”

I shove him away from my ear. “Not every woman.” I storm away from him. Even over the blaring music, I hear his laugh, and I clench my fists tight. I don’t remember him being so stuck on himself. I step up to the bar and order a beer.

“Trouble in paradise?” I glance over to find Riff leaning against the bar.

Great. I’m so not in the mood for another jackass. I roll my eyes and take my beer from the smiling brunette behind the counter. “No trouble...and definitely no paradise. This is just a job.”

“Ah, the charity, right?” Riff’s brown eyes twinkle. “How’s that going?”

I pick at the label on the bottle. “Pretty much non-existent at the moment. Noel keeps putting off hammering out the details about the literacy program. That’s the whole reason I’m here—to get the marketing off the ground.”

Riff nods. “He’s thinking ahead, I’ll give him that.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s stringing you along for as long as he can until he gets what he wants from you. The more information he gives you about the charity, the sooner you can leave and go back to New York. You two have some history, so you’re a challenge to him. That’s a game he hasn’t had to play for quite some time. He tends to always get what he wants.”

I shake my head. “Yeah, well, what he wants from me, he isn’t going to get.”

Riff smiles. “That’s good to know.” He nods toward the dance floor. “Want to dance?”

I turn toward the sea of people, and my eyes fixate on a couple practically molesting each other right in plain view of everyone. They grind their pelvises together, leaving little to the imagination of what a night in their bedroom would be like. How can people do that in public? I shake my head. “Um, no, thanks.”

He runs his fingers along my arm, and I tense. “Come on, Lanie. I won’t bite.”

I shake my head, but before I can answer, I’m dragged away by the other arm. Noel’s eyes are hard when he looks at Riff. The pure hate doesn’t seem to faze Riff, though. He lifts his beer and gives Noel a small nod. Why do I feel as if I’m in the middle of a childish game of tug-of-war?

I yank free of Noel’s grip. “What the hell?”

Noel’s expression darkens. “I told you to stay away from him.”

My arms fold over my chest. I’m ready for a fight. “I’m a big girl. I can talk to whomever I want.”

He turns away and runs his hand through his hair. He opens his mouth as though he wants to say something then immediately closes it. I stare at him, waiting for his smart-ass reply. After a couple seconds, he turns back to me and holds out his hand. “Dance with me.”

I flinch. “What? Are you psycho? There’s medication for that, you know.”

Before I can think, he grabs me against his chest. “Psycho? No. A little crazy? Maybe.” He leans into my ear and says with a slight growl, “Dance with me.”

The words cause my stomach to clench. I know he’s trying to break me down. The minute I give in and let him touch my body, it will want him. And I hate that he knows that. I shove his chest, putting personal space between us again, and take a long drink from my beer. Dancing with him definitely crosses the line. “No.”

His brow furrows. “No?”

Noel obviously doesn’t hear that word very often. “I’m here on business, not to”—I gesture toward the crowd—“let you grind all up on me.”

Before he can say another word, I walk away and take an empty seat at the end of the bar. Noel watches me for a second, as though he’s debating whether to follow me or not, but I refuse to acknowledge his existence. Eventually, he gives up and heads toward the table the twins occupy. As soon as his ass hits the seat, a perky blonde plops down in his lap. He wraps his arm around her waist and takes a long pull from his beer bottle. She whispers in his ear. He nods and gives her that sexy-cocky grin I’m starting to hate.

I tear my eyes away as the girl leans in and kisses his lips. I grip my bottle a little too tightly and narrow my eyes. Then it hits me why I feel so angry, and I can’t believe it. I’m actually a little jealous. I chug the rest of my beer and try to drown out the thought. What Noel and I had is in the past, and I have no right to feel jealous when he’s with someone else.

A man who resembles a younger version of Steven Tyler sits next to me and orders a beer before turning his attention to me. A blush creeps up my neck when I turn to find him watching me intently. His lips turn up into a smile, and I return my eyes to the bottle in front of me.

The man shoves a strand of his long black hair behind his ear. “You need another?” His accent is delicious. Something about a British accent is incredibly sexy.

I nod. “Sure.”

Mr. Accent gestures for another beer, and I study his features. His black hair hangs nearly to his broad shoulders, and his tattooed hands poke out from the long-sleeved shirt he’s wearing. Both of his ears are pierced, along with one eyebrow, and his eyes are deep chocolate. He’s obviously in a band, most of the guys in here are, but I can’t put my finger on which one.

He turns toward me and holds out his hand. “I’m Striker.”

Ah. That’s where I’ve seen him. He’s the front man of Embrace the Darkness.

I slide my hand in his. “Lanie Vance.”

The bartender returns with my drink and winks at the rocker as she sets it down in front of him.

“Here you go, love,” he says and slides the bottle in my direction. “So, what’s a beautiful lady like you doing in here with this lot?”

I blush again and run my fingers through my hair. “I’m working.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Blimey! You’re a—”

My eyes widen. “No! No. I’m not a...you know. I’m a rep for Center Stage Marketing.”

“Right, I’ve heard of them—out of New York. My record label suggested we look into using them.” He nods and smiles. “Here to pick up new clients then?”

I lean closer so my voice doesn’t compete with the blaring music. “I’m actually working for Black Falcon on their children’s literacy campaign.”

“They make you travel to this shithole town in Ohio for that? Seems like rubbish to me.”

I shrug. “Noel and I are old friends. He kind of got me this job.”

He touches my hand when he speaks. “Well, old friend of Noel’s, can I get your name and maybe give you a ring sometime?”

I take a sip of my drink. There’s nothing wrong with giving him my number, right? I’m not dating anyone or anything. Besides, this guy seems cute and genuinely interested in getting to know me. “I’d like that.”

The rocker picks up his beer and clinks it with mine after he stuffs my cell number in his front pocket. “To new friends.”

“There something you need, Striker?” Noel says behind me.

I turn on the stool. Noel stands with his arms across his chest as he stares at the back of Striker’s head. My eyes flick to Striker, and he lets out a slow breath as he turns around and stands. He chugs the last of his beer and sets the bottle on the counter as if he’s in no hurry.

“No, mate. I’ve got all I need right here.” He pats the pocket he slid my number into and turns his attention to me. “Lanie, love, it’s been charming. I’ll be in touch.” Striker shoulders past Noel without another look and blends into the crowd.

“What the hell are you drinking?” Noel grabs the beer out of my hands and chucks it in a nearby trash can. “I told you not to take drinks from anyone but me.”

“You’re infuriating. You know that?” I jump off the stool and head toward the exit, but he grabs my arm. “Let me go.”

He shakes his head. “You want to leave? Then we’ll go together.”

I yank away. “Fine. Let’s go then.”

Mike holds the crowd off so we can hop into the SUV. Noel slams the door shut, and the vehicle quivers a little. His mouth pulls into a tight line, and he runs his fingers through his hair. He seems frustrated.

I know the feeling.

Neither of us speak the entire ride back to Big Bertha. The minute we step onto the bus, Noel flops down in the sitting area near the door and picks up his guitar. He strums out random chords and does his best not to make eye contact with me.

After about twenty seconds, I finally get that he’s not going to talk about what happened and why he feels as though he has the right to dictate who I talk to. A harsh breath escapes me, and I storm into the bedroom. I take off my top then grab an oversized T-shirt and yank it over my head. Where does he get off being such an asshole? If he doesn’t want me here, he shouldn’t have made it mandatory for me to come.

I go into the bathroom without a glance in Noel’s direction to scrub the makeup from my face and get ready for bed. I tug a brush through my unruly, dark waves and pull it up into a high bun. When I return to the bedroom, I freeze in the doorway. Noel lies on the bed with his arms tucked behind his head. From the waist down, he’s under the covers. The tattoos on his naked chest and arms are beautiful. They make him look so anti-authority and bad-boyish. I wish it wasn’t so ridiculously sexy.

I throw up my hands. “Hello? What are you doing back here?”

He furrows his eyebrows as if I’m not speaking English. “What do you mean, why am I back here? It’s my room.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “Yes, but when you told me earlier that I’d be sleeping in your bed, I didn’t think you meant with you in it.”

Noel shrugs. “I told you there wasn’t any room in the foxholes. I thought I made the sleeping arrangements very clear.”

“I’m not sleeping back here with you!”

He raises an eyebrow. “If you want to sleep on one of the seats out front, be my guest. But I warn you, the guys never come home alone, and most of the action takes place right up front.”

I turn and peer down the hall at the two swivel seats and tiny love seat. No way do I want to witness the guys’ sexual escapades. I sigh and drop my arms. “Fine. But so help me, if you touch me, I’ll punch you square in the balls.”

He laughs and pats the spot beside him. “I’ll be a gentleman. I promise.”

I walk over and slide under the covers next to Noel. The full-size bed doesn’t leave much space between us, so I scoot as close to the edge as I can get and roll on my side away from him. The light flicks off, and the bed shakes as Noel settles down on his pillow. It’s quiet. Too quiet actually. With nothing to distract me, all I can think about is how close his body is to mine. If I wanted, I could roll over and have amazing sex with him.

I tuck the cover around me and close my eyes. Right before I drift into sleep, Noel says, “I’m sorry about tonight. I shouldn’t allow myself to get so jealous. You’re a hard one to let go.”

My heart pounds, and I’m fully awake. I could a million things to him. But if I’m not careful, one sentence will either piss him off or turn him on. Neither of those would be a good thing. We lay there in silence because I can’t bring myself to say anything. Noel eventually takes the hint and lets out a heavy sigh. He turns over and doesn’t speak a single word.

Chapter 10

––––––––

My cell rings on the small nightstand, and my eyes pop open. Relief engulfs me when I roll over and see the other half of the bed empty. I grab the phone and answer it as I sit up and run my fingers through my tangled bedhead.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Aubrey says in a sing-song voice.

“What time is it?” I flop back on my pillow. The motions of the moving bus are steady and sleep inducing. Must be why I slept so late.

She laughs. “Someone had a late night? It’s nearly noon. Tell me, any action with that sexy rocker yet?”

“Ugh. You would not believe what that asshole said to me last night.” I rehash all the grimy details of how Noel seems like a crazy lunatic only interested in getting into my pants. Of course, I leave out the details about how amazingly hot he is when he becomes so suggestive. Knowing Aubrey, she’ll encourage me to take him up on the offers because she knows it’s been a while for me in that department.

She says, “So tomorrow my flight comes into Dallas at two thirty. I’m renting a car so I can drive over to the hotel while I wait on you to get there.”

I sigh. “You don’t know how excited I’ll be to see a friendly face.”

“Pssssssssssh. Whatever. After that story you just told me, sounds like you’ve been seeing plenty of ‘friendly’ faces between Noel, Riff, and that sexy British dude.”

“You mean Striker?”

She giggles. “I need to Google him. Even his name sounds yummy.” I hear Aubrey tapping on the keys of the desktop computer in our little apartment, and I feel a little homesick. “Ah, there we go. Let me just...Oh yeah, he’s fucking edible. No bag needed for that one’s head. That’s for sure.”

I shake my head. “I doubt he’ll call me. Noel chased him off before I could make a good impression.”

“Noel’s just jealo—Oh my god, have you searched your own name in the last twenty-four hours?”

“Um, no. Does anyone really look themselves up that often? Why?”

“Go get your laptop and search your name. Then call me back.”

“Wait, Aubrey, why?”

“Just go do it.”

After I promise to call her right back, I hop off the bed and change into a pair of jeans and black T-shirt. I grab my computer from the cabinet and boot it up. I’m surprised to find a Big Bertha Wi-Fi signal. After a failed attempt to connect, I head toward the front of the bus, laptop in hand, where all the guys are eating breakfast.

“What’s popping, Lanie?” Trip asks before he takes a huge bite of cereal.

Tyke and Riff are locked into some battle on the game system attached to the flat screen TV. Noel sits to the side watching them go at it, ignoring me.

“Trip, what’s the Wi-Fi password for Big Bertha?”

He wipes his chin with the sleeve of his shirt and grins. “It’s kinkysexgod69.”

I roll my eyes. “What is it with you guys and your obsession with sex?” I set my laptop on the counter next to Trip’s bowl and type in the password. Once it’s connected, I type my name into the search engine. A couple milliseconds tick by, and my name, accompanied by pictures, pop up in the results. I click on a picture, and it redirects me to a celebrity gossip site. Noel and I are the prime story with a headline reading: Black Falcon Front Man Caught with Secret Lover. My eyes widen as I take in the picture of Noel holding my hand in the airport.

“Shit,” Trips says next to me.

Noel looks up from the game. “What?”

“There’re pictures of the two of you on the internet. They’re calling our girl Lanie here your secret lover.”

Noel practically leaps from his seat and comes up to check out the screen. “Fuck!”

I flinch. Am I really that embarrassing to be seen with? How can pretend he’s so into me one minute, and then be pissed cameras caught us holding hands the next? “What’s your problem? It’s a harmless picture. Who cares? We both know it isn’t true.”

He paces for a few seconds and darts up to the front of the bus. Noel doesn’t say another word to me. Instead, he rushes into the other room to retrieve his cell phone and plops down next to the driver. Big Bertha takes the next exit and pulls into a truck stop. I watch as Noel shoves his hands through his hair as he waits by the door for the bus to fully stop.

He’s acting like a complete fucking lunatic.

The rest of the guys hop off the bus and start toward the convenience store. The second I step off the bus, I glance around. Noel’s at the back of the bus talking on his cell. He’s obviously arguing with whoever he’s talking with. I can’t make out what he’s saying, but his wild gestures tell me he’s defending himself. He takes a breath and his shoulders slump. Whatever the fight was over, he looks relieved. Curiosity wins out, and I take a couple steps toward him. Noel notices me and straightens as I approach.

Before I can hear more than him saying good-bye to the other person, he snaps, “How long have you been there?”

I shake my head. “I wasn’t eavesdropping.” Okay, so maybe that isn’t exactly the truth, but I didn’t hear anything. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. You rushed off the bus so quickly.”

Noel stuffs his phone into his back pocket. “Everything’s fine. Just business—nothing that concerns you.”

I flinch at his snippy tone. “Sorry. I was just...concerned.”

He sighs and drags his fingers through his messy brown hair. “Fuck! I really feel like all I do is fuck things up when it comes to you. I shouldn’t snap at you. It’s not your fault I have bad shit in my life. I really don’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

That’s the second time in less than a day that Noel has apologized to me. I really don’t get how he can be so forward and overly sexual, then flip the switch and tell me he’s sorry for hurting me. He’s like a man possessed by craziness.

“So...” He closes the space between us and holds out his arms for a hug. “Friends, again?”

I shrug and wrap my arms around his waist. “Friends.” It actually feels good to get to this point. We should be able to be friends without weird tension between us. Two people who dated in high school should be able to look past that and have a healthy friendship. Being friend will make working on the children’s literacy campaign so much easier. I rest my head against his chest, and he rubs my back. Noel holding me reminds me of when we were a couple and he was unbelievably sweet. I sigh and give him one final squeeze before I let our lingering hug get weird.

He tugs my shirt. “Come on. I’ll buy you some of those sour-lemon candies you like so much.”

I grin. It’s funny the things people remember. “Only if you eat some with me.”

He laughs and throws his arm around me as we start toward the store. “The thought alone of eating those things make me want to puke. I ate what—one hundred and fifty of those things in one sitting because you dared me?”

“It was four hundred and eighty-seven. The bet was five hundred, remember? And you lost miserably.” I poke his stomach.

He grabs my hand and holds it over his heart. It’s a simple gesture but a dangerous one. Something so sweet will wear down my willpower if he tries to tempt me into sleeping with him again. I know the Noel I used to love is in this sexy, bad-boy rocker somewhere. I pull my hand away, and Noel gazes down at me with sad eyes.

Desperate for a subject change, I say, “My friend Aubrey is meeting up with us in Dallas tomorrow.”

“Is she the one who came with you to the show, when you...” His eyes dart away from mine. It’s as if he doesn’t want to bring up the time I walked in on him with two sluts back in Houston.

Allowing him off the hook, I don’t even acknowledge his slip. “Yeah. She’s from Texas, so she’s flying down to catch the show and driving to her parents’ place near Waco when we leave for the next city.”

He nods. “We’ll actually spend a couple days in Dallas. Our manager booked us all rooms so we can get off the bus for a bit.”

A smile creeps across my lips. “You think we’ll have time to drive home for a night? I’m sure your parents would be thrilled to see you.”

Noel stops in his tracks. “No. I promised myself I’d never go back there, not after the way Dad treated me.”

“But your mom...don’t you miss her?”

He sighs. “Of course I do.”

“Well, then come home with me.”

He raises his eyebrows. “What do you mean ‘come home with you’?”

I turn my hands over and shrug. “My mom would love to have you over. We can drive down, invite your mom to dinner at my mom’s house, and we can stay the night. It’d give you a chance to spend time with your mom without facing your father.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Of course I would. You’re my oldest friend.”

Noel throws his arm around me and pulls me close to his side just like old times, and I’m amazed at how natural it feels.

Chapter 11

––––––––

We pull into Dallas a little after four o’clock the next day. The bus rounds the corner toward the American Airlines Center concert hall. It’s yet another monstrously huge venue Black Falcon will no doubt fill tomorrow night. Security guards open the Authorized Personal Only gate and allow the bus through. The driver turns the bus smoothly into the back lot and then cuts the engine.

“Whoo hoo! Two days of freedom, boys!” Trip yells as he slaps a baseball cap over his jet black hair. “Now to find me a little honey while I’m here.”

Tyke laughs as he looks out the bus window. “That shouldn’t be a problem.”

I follow his line of sight. A mass of fans wait outside with cameras and “We love you” signs. Most of them are women, but there are a few guys in the mix as well. The majority seem harmless, but a handful of women stick out in their scanty clothing that screams, “Fuck me!” Trip and Tyke point out a few and call dibs on certain women. Riff joins them and gives the group a careful onceover, as though he’s deciding which dessert to pick.

I roll my eyes. Men.

My cell phone rings, and I yank it from my back pocket. “I was just getting ready to call you.”

“Good thing because I’m already here,” Aubrey says. “I think this is the bus you’re on.”

I shove between the gawking men and scan the crowd. Aubrey stands to the side with her phone against her ear, wearing a pair of low-rise, cut-off shorts and a black tank top. She’s showing just enough stomach for the guys to fight over which one has dibs on the redhead.

“I see you! I’m coming out,” I say. I take the steps two at a time and shove open the bus door.

Aubrey pushes past security to grab me in a tight hug. “I’ve been waiting for freaking ever.” She releases me and shoves her auburn curls over her shoulder. “It’s good to see you. I’ve missed you.”

I grab her hand. “Come on. I want you to meet the guys before they all take off on their two-day reprieve.”

Aubrey giggles with excitement and allows me to pull her onto the bus. All three guys stop talking when we step inside. The curiosity burns in their eyes as I pull Aubrey beside me.

“Guys, this is my closest friend, Aubrey. Aubrey, this is Black Falcon. This is Trip”—I point at him—“he’s the drummer. And this is his twin brother, Tyke—also the bass player. And last but not least—”

“Riff.” He steps forward and shakes Aubrey’s hand as he introduces himself. His eyes glue to hers, and she giggles again. I have never seen her so unhitched and nervous. Both of her cheeks are turning pink as they shake hands for an extra-lengthy time period.

The twins seem to notice it too. Trip slaps Riff on the back. “Later, man.” Then he and Tyke go out to round up other girls.

I clear my throat, and Aubrey lets go of Riff’s hand. “So, um, Aubrey, what do you want to do today?” I ask.

She finally pulls her eyes away from Riff and says, “Doesn’t matter.”

“How about we all hang out?” Riff says.

Heavy boots clomp onto the kitchen floor. Noel’s showered and looking downright sexy in tight jeans and a black T-shirt. The material clings to his chest and shows off his body perfectly. I bite my lip, and Aubrey elbows me. Damn. I glance away and hook some loose hair behind my ear. Heat creeps up my neck, and I can’t make myself look at her. I know, without a doubt, she’s got that smug I-know-you-like-him look on her face.

“What’s going on?” Noel asks as he grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

“Noel, this is my friend Aubrey. The one I was telling you about.”

He gives her a nod and points his attention to Riff, who hasn’t taken his eyes off my friend since she set foot on the bus. “You’re going out with these two?”

Riff blinks a couple times as if he’s breaking out of trance. “Yeah, I mean, if they’re cool with that.”

Before I can object, Aubrey says, “Absolutely.”

Riff grins at her again and puts on his sunglasses while he heads for the bus door. “Awesome. Let’s get this show on the road.”

I grab Aubrey’s arm before she follows him like a little puppy. “What the hell are you doing?”

She shrugs. “He’s hot and seems into me. What’s the problem?”

There really isn’t one. I just don’t want her to get crushed by an asshole like Riff. “Nothing, I guess. Just be cautious. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Aubrey kisses my cheek. “I’m a big girl. I’m just here to have a good time, not get married. I know what I’m doing.”

I throw my arms around her neck and hug her. “Of course. Have a good time.”

She grins before she follows Riff out the door. I watch through the bus window as she meets up with him, and he holds out his hand as though they’ve known each other for years before they head toward the Escalade.

“Huh? Well, that was unexpected,” Noel says and gulps down the rest of his water.

“Tell me about it.”

The four of us pile into the SUV and go to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. Riff and Aubrey sit next to each other, a little too close for my liking. Noel seems unfazed by the new pair as he sits back with his arms stretched out along the back of the booth. We fall into easy conversation, telling Riff and Aubrey about some of the fun we had when we were in school.

“Sounds like you two were quite the pair back then,” Aubrey says, sipping her margarita.

I smile at Noel. “Yeah, we were great friends back in the day.”

Noel cocks his head to the side and gazes down at me. “Friend, huh? Ouch. That’s all I was to you?”

I smack his shoulder—not hard enough to really hurt. “You know what I mean.”

“Damn.” He rubs his right bicep and leans his back against the booth. “See you still pack a hell of a punch. Haven’t seen you throw a shot like that since you fought Jessica Cranbee over a Barbie doll back in fourth grade. Remember that?”

I laugh as I rest my elbows on the table and take a drink of my margarita. “Yeah. That girl was always such a bitch, wasn’t she?”

“She was.” He bumps my shoulder with his. “But she never messed with you again. I think you were the only girl in our class she didn’t scare the shit out of.”

I smile at Noel. “Yeah, I don’t get that. Why do people have to be mean?” The words are practically my size seven shoes shoved square in my mouth. Who am I to talk about being mean? Maybe it’s not the right time to bring this up, but after six margaritas, I can’t stop myself. “Look, Noel, the way we ended things...I’m sorry.”

He takes a strand of my brown hair and twirls it. “Water under the bridge. Let’s not ruin a perfect night with something we can’t change.”

By the time we’re on our eighth round of margaritas, I’m feeling pretty good. Even my toes are tingling. We don’t bring up the topic of our breakup anymore. We just drink and tell funny stories. Even the tension between Noel and Riff seems lighter. After we finish gorging ourselves with drinks and food, Noel pays the bill. Once I’m outside, the liquor hits hard. I stumble in the parking lot as we head toward the SUV.

Noel wraps his arms around me and pulls me against him so I don’t topple over. “Easy there, lightweight. You all right?”

I embrace the closeness between us and throw my arms around his waist. “I’m good. Just starting to feel a little tired...and drunk.”

Noel chuckles. “That’s what happens when you stand up after hammering, what, nine margaritas? Shit hits you fast.”

I shake my head. “Eight.”

Aubrey and Riff slide into the middle row together, which means Noel and I have to share a seat. Mike shuts us inside, and I giggle as Noel and I climb into the third row. “Does he go everywhere with you?”

“Who? Mike?”

I nod, and my head feels very heavy. Noel’s shoulder looks awfully comfortable. It’s crossing the line, but so is drinking to the point of intoxication with a client. The responsible part of my brain screams at me not to do it, but the drunken, tired side tells me to go for it. I curl into him and lay my head half on his chest and shoulder. He sighs contently and wraps his arm around me while resting his cheek on the top of my head.

Being wrapped in his embrace again actually feels pretty nice.

He strokes my hair a couple times, and I close my eyes at the softness of his touch. “Yeah, he does. Mike’s a good guy. Maybe even my best friend. We spend a lot of time together.”

I snuggle in tighter and lay my arm across his lap. “That’s nice.” I’m completely comfortable lying against Noel’s toned chest. It’s probably the margaritas, but I feel the urge to kiss him. We’ve had such a good time all night. Kissing him almost feels like the right thing to do because I want him to know how much fun I had with the sweet version of him. Physical shows of emotion were the only kind Noel ever really understood.

I sigh and try to block out the thought. We aren’t kids anymore. Kissing him while I’m tipsy will lead to other things. I know my body well enough when it comes to Noel Falcon. It has a hard time resisting his touch.

Aubrey and Riff lean into each other and kiss right in front of us. Noel’s fingers stop running through my hair and slide down my back. They stop at the hem of shirt and trace the skin on the small of my back. My breath catches, and his chest moves a little quicker. Seeing something so intimate while so close to him ignites a fire in my stomach. I bring my hand up to the neck of his shirt and run my finger along his exposed flesh. The fingers on my back slip inside my jeans, and his other hand finds my chin and tips it up toward him. Noel’s hooded eyes stare into mine, and something in me stirs. For the first time since being here, I think about giving in to his attempt to kiss me. His thumb traces my bottom lip, and I close my eyes.

Noel leans into me and presses his lips to my forehead. I slump against him a little, and he chuckles. “I want to kiss you, but I know once I start, I won’t be able to control myself.”

I swallow, knowing he’s right. In this perfect moment, I just might let him do all the things he’s been threatening to do to my body. I start to pull away, but Noel doesn’t loosen his hold. I turn my head and watch my friend make out with a rock star. I sure hope she knows what she’s doing.

We arrive back at the bus, and all I can think about is going to bed. I need to get some distance between Noel and me before things get out of hand. Liquor courses through my veins, and I know I won’t make proper judgment calls around him. I trudge back into the bedroom and search for a T-shirt to change into.

Aubrey follows me. “Aren’t you going over to the hotel with the rest of the band?”

I shake my head. “I’m tired. All I can think about is sleeping.”

She studies me. “Sleeping? After the way you were flirting with Noel, you want to go to sleep?”

I shrug and pretend that Noel and I didn’t just have a moment in the backseat. “Yes? What’s so wrong with that?”

She bites her lip. “You two have this whole connection thing vibing between you. Aren’t you the least big curious what it can turn into?”

“No. This is business. It can’t be anything more than that. You know that.”

She hugs me. “I love you, but sometimes you need to loosen up and say, ‘Fuck the rules.’ A job isn’t everything. Live a little, you know.”

I laugh and try to divert her attention. “Like you are with Riff?”

Aubrey blushes. “I can’t help it. I’ve always thought he was the cutest in this band. Gah! He’s a really good kisser, too.”

I plug my ears. “I so don’t need to hear these details.”

She pulls my hands down and laughs. “Trust me, by this time tomorrow, I’ll have more details about Riff than how he kisses.”

I smack her arm. “Go then, and slut around, if you must.”

She winks at me. “Oh, that’s a definite must.” I roll my eyes as she darts out the door toward a night she’ll brag about for months.

Great.

I change as quickly as I can and turn to get into bed just as Noel opens the door without knocking. I scowl at him. “I could’ve been naked.”

He grins. “I was sort of hoping for that.”

“Men,” I grumble as I slide into bed.

He chuckles as he closes the door and pulls off his shirt. I turn my back to him to give him some privacy. The springs groan as he gets into bed next to me and shuts off the lights.

“Aren’t you going to the hotel tonight?” I ask.

“Wasn’t planning on it. Besides, I was kind of hoping you wanted to cuddle some more.”

I roll over and face him. Even in the dark, his magnetism doesn’t escape me. I fight the urge to trace his stubbly jaw to find out what it feels like. If I do that, it’ll all be over. The boundaries I’ve established will go right out the window, yet I can’t force myself to turn away. The energy flowing between us in this small, dark room is powerful. I bite my bottom lip, practically tasting the lust in the air. Noel caresses my cheek with his thumb. I should tell him to stop, but the fire in his touch makes my body crave more. His eyes roam over me. I study every inch of his face. It’s so beautiful. The look in his eyes shows hope, but I’m not sure sleeping with him is a good choice. I can’t let him think I’m like all of his random groupies. I want more than causal sex, which sounds completely selfish considering I’m the one who left him. I really have no right to demand anything of him.

“Lane.” The way he says my name makes my toes curl. “I’m still crazy over you. I know it’s been a while, but it feels like just yesterday when you walked out of my life. When you left me, I was so empty. There was a huge, gaping hole in my heart no one could fill. I tried to get over you, I really did, but you were always there. Every woman I kissed was you.”

My heart clenches at his words. He’s pretty much laid all his cards out for me to see. I’ll admit there is something between us, and it’s strong, but I’m not sure if it’s purely a sexual thing. I can’t chance my career on such a crazy risk. I sigh. We can’t rush this.

“Noel, we have to stay professional. I work for you now. How’s it going to look if I sleep with you? Who’ll take me seriously? Diana’s encouraged me to do whatever it takes to keep you happy, but if I sleep with you, we’ll step over a line we shouldn’t—at least while I work for you.”

He leans in closer, his lips inches from my face. “So quit. I’ll take care of you. You don’t need to work as long as you’re with me. I’ll take care of everything you need.”

“You don’t get it. This job is my dream. If I sleep with you and things go bad, not only will I lose you, but I’ll lose my dream as well.”

He frowns. “This project means that much to you? It isn’t just about getting close to me?”

I shake my head, pull his fingers away from my face, and lace mine with his. “No. I mean, at first it was just the job. But now, after this, I can’t kid myself. There’s still something between us...”

“But?” he prompts.

“We can’t act on it. Things have to go slow. Maybe after Diana sees I can actually do this, she’ll take me seriously. Once that happens, maybe we can give us a shot.”

Noel traces my lips with his finger. “I don’t think I can live without at least kissing these. How about we make another deal?”

I tilt my head. Noel always has some sort of scheme brewing. Before he has a chance to set the terms, I come up with my own that I can live with while getting this project done. “How about for every kiss I give you, I get ten minutes of uninterrupted time working on the charity?”

Noel smiles at me. “Sure, I’ll agree to that. But I warn you, if you kiss me like you mean it too much, I won’t promise to hold off.”

A fierce blush spreads all over my face.

“How about we start with one right now?” he asks.

Before I can answer, Noel pulls my lips to his. The warmth of his mouth is so familiar. I close my eyes and shut off my brain. Nothing else matters but the here and now. This kiss—the one I’ve been reliving in my mind for years—is finally happening. My lips part, and his tongue finds mine, swirling around in a well-practiced routine. A sound of intense need catches in the back of his throat, and I press my body against his.

His hand slips under my shirt and brushes the skin on the small of my back. I shiver. The feel of his skin floods me with desire. I can’t remember ever wanting Noel as badly as I do now. Maybe it’s because I know what I’ve been missing,or maybe it’s because he’s turned into an incredibly attractive man. Either way, he’s the only thing in the world that I want right now, and I can’t get close enough.

My hand flies into Noel’s hair as he slides his hand down the length of my body. His fingers dig into my thigh before he hitches my leg around his hip. He pushes his pelvis into mine, and all that separates us are a couple of thin pieces of fabric. His erection strains against his boxers—Noel wants this just as much as I do. He trails kisses across my jaw. I toss my head back and arch my chest into him.

“Oh God, Lane. You smell fucking amazing.”

A shudder rips through his body as I moan in his ear. I pull back. All I can focus on are his blue eyes, alive with intense need. He wants me to say I need him, that I want him to take me. But I can’t do that. We have to slow down.

I push him back a little. “Wait a second. We agreed to only kiss.”

“You can’t kiss me like that and not expect me to get turned on.”

I turn away from him and blush.

Noel pulls my face toward him. “Don’t. Don’t be ashamed. It’s incredibly sexy when you let yourself go like that. I never knew you had that in you.”

“People change. I have grown up a little. I’m not that same silly, naïve girl you knew in high school.”

He grins. “Well, I liked her too, you know. But this version of you is downright fuckable.”

My face heats up and I roll away from him. Noel sits up and pushes off the bed before grabbing his shirt from the floor.

“Where are you going?”

He grabs a towel out of one of the drawers. “To take a cold shower. I have a feeling I’ll need a lot of those these next two weeks if we keep kissing like that.”

I flop back onto the bed when Noel shuts the door. He has no clue the same goes for me.

Chapter 12

––––––––

The next morning, I wake up before Noel and creep out of the bedroom with my cell in hand, doing my best not to wake him. I dial Aubrey’s number and look at the clock. It’s only a little after eight. She’s going to kill me for waking her, but I have to know that she got to her hotel okay.

She answers on the fourth ring. “Hello?” Her voice is raspy and slow.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you, but I wanted to know what your plans are today.”

She giggles. “Stop, Riff.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re still with him?”

“Yes,” she says breathlessly.

I frown. She’s probably going to spend the rest of her time here with Riff. “So I take it you’re busy.”

Aubrey sighs. “Don’t be mad. We’ll be together all the time in about a week when you come home. Besides, you have Noel to play with.”

“You know it’s not like that.”

She giggles again. “But it could be just like that if you’d let it.” Riff mumbles something, and I hear the distinct sound of sucking. “Um, gotta go, Lanie. Love you.”

Before I can get out another word of protest, she hangs up. Aubrey’s always been one to live a little on the wild side. I guess her messing around with Riff should’ve been expected. He’s a horn ball and she has a thing for the bad-boy type. I should’ve seen that one coming. I lay my phone on the table and run my fingers through my hair. A strong pair of tattooed arms wrap around my waist, and I stiffen. “Noel, what are you doing?”

He pulls my hair away from my neck and kisses the delicate skin there. “I thought we made our feelings for each other pretty clear last night.”

I pull away. “Just because I said I feel something for you doesn’t mean we can act on it.”

Noel scratches the back of his neck. “I don’t get you, Lane. One minute you’re hot for me, the next, you shove me away. Aren’t I more important than some lame job?”

“Noel...”

He shakes his head. “You know what, forget it. Sorry I crossed some line you have drawn in your head.” I watch him stalk off toward the bedroom and slam the door.

A few hours later, when Aubrey and Riff are forced out of their sex nest, I stand backstage with her while we wait for the guys to come out of their band meeting. She grins from ear to ear as she goes over every sordid detail of her sexual escapades. I roll my eyes where she gushes about how great Riff is in the sack, and she gives me a playful shove.

“So you’re telling me nothing happened with you and Noel last night?” she questions. “You two were pretty cozy on the way back.” I sigh, and she laughs. “I knew it! Tell me!”

I hold up my hands in surrender. “Okay. Okay. Jeesh, get a grip. We kissed.”

Aubrey raises her eyebrow. “A kiss? Was it like a polite peck, or was it full-on tongue I-want-your-body make out?”

I frown. “It definitely wasn’t polite.”

“Lanie, God, I swear, for someone so smart, you sometimes act like an idiot. You should be ecstatic right now. Reconnecting with your first love is something people dream about, and you’re getting that. I don’t see why you don’t just let loose and let it happen.”

“But the job—”

“But nothing. Don’t make me give the ‘jobs aren’t everything’ speech. Jobs don’t keep you warm or make you feel sexy, but Noel Falcon totally can. Anyone can see the guy is crazy about you.”

Is it really that obvious? He’s been trying to get in my pants since we met back up in Houston, but last night I found out he has actual feelings for me, and that scares me a little. I obviously hurt him in the past, and I don’t want to do that again. Things are going smooth between us now, but what happens when my two weeks are up? Will he go back to sleeping with random groupies while I’m in New York? If he did that, I would end our relationship...again. Then there’s the job. I don’t think I’m ready to risk anything just yet.

Aubrey stares at me. “Quit doing that.”

I flinch. “Doing what?”

“Overthinking things. You’ll never know until you let down your walls a little.”

I run my fingers through my hair. “Why are you pushing this? You hated him.”

She shrugs. “You’re my best friend, and I love you. I want you to be happy. Plus, he’s not the asshole I thought he was.”

I give her a weak smile and wrap my arms around her.

“Hey now...” I turn and find Riff staring at us. “Nobody gets this girl’s lovin’ but me.”

Aubrey giggles like a kid at Christmas when Riff grabs her up in a hug. “Riff!”

I roll my eyes. “On that note, I’m out of here.”

I wander around backstage and find an empty bench. Radies rush back and forth connecting cables and tuning instruments. The opening act is set to take the stage in a few minutes. I’m really enjoying all the great music I’ve heard during the last couple shows, and I’m curious what band is playing with them tonight.

“Lanie, love, didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”

I jerk my head toward the voice and set my eyes on a grinning Striker. His long, dark hair hangs in a low ponytail, and a few shorter strands fall haphazardly around his face. The brown in his eyes is so dark they almost appear black. Tight leather pants, accompanied with a sleeveless dress shirt, show off his body and array of perfectly placed tattoos. I’m definitely intrigued by him.

I smile at him. “Hey, Striker. I didn’t know Embrace the Darkness was opening for Black Falcon.”

Striker must take my smile as an invitation because he plops down next to me and causally stretches his arm behind me. “We do from time to time. Same record label and all. Say, you think you might fancy getting a drink with me later?”

When I gave my number to him the other day, I didn’t even think about the possibility of something happening between Noel and I. But since we kissed last night, I feel like that changes things a bit. “Striker, I’m not sure...”

“Ah, come on. Just one drink.” He winks, and when I hesitate, he says, “Don’t tell me you’ve got a thing going with that Noel bloke. He’s not worthy of a lovely lady such as you.”

I raise an eyebrow, taken back by his forwardness. “And you are?”

Striker takes my hand and raises it to his lips. “I would treat you like the queen you are.”

The skin on the back of my hand tingles from the touch of his lips. His eyes meet mine, and there’s no trace of humor in them at all. I swallow deeply, unsure what to say. Noel and I’ve already had a relationship that’s fallen apart. Who says that won’t happen again? This thing with Striker is new and unexplored, and frankly a little scary. Our apparent attraction to one another feels intense.

“What the hell is going on?” Noel’s face is angry, and he’s staring daggers at my hand in Striker’s.

I yank my hand away, and my heart pounds. Where did he come from? “Nothing. It’s not what you think.”

Striker stares at me and tilts his head. There’s recognition on his face, like his suspicions about Noel and me are confirmed. “Pity.”

I open my mouth to apologize, but I shut it quickly. There really isn’t anything to say I’m sorry for. I don’t really know Striker. I shouldn’t have to explain my relationship with Noel to him, and I’m still trying to figure it out myself.

After a few seconds, Striker sighs before standing to face Noel. “This one’s a good girl, mate. Treat her right.”

Noel doesn’t answer, just narrows his eyes as he watches Striker walk away, and then turns his attention back to me. “What the hell was that?”

“He was just being nice,” I counter.

“Nice? Kissing your fucking hand is crossing the damn line.”

I stand and shove my hands on my hips. “Nothing happened!”

He jams his fingers into his hair. “You’re driving me insane. I can’t keep doing this.”

I stare at him with my mouth open slightly. “Noel...”

“Just stop.” He closes his eyes. “Just stop, okay? You’re ripping out my heart and you don’t even know it.”

“I’m sorry, I just need more time. We don’t have to rush things.”

He grabs me. “Yes, we do. If I don’t have you soon, I’m going to implode. Can’t you see that? I want you to be with me. I can’t stand all these guys coming on to you. The fact that I’m not allowed to do a God damn thing about it because you’re not mine is killing me.”

My heart thumps as he holds me tight. I dip my head and close my eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you, I just...”

Just what? Don’t love him? Don’t want him? I can’t say that because it would be a lie. I lean my head into his chest and sigh. Aubrey’s right. Noel’s crazy about me. More than anything right now, I want to tell him how I feel, but I know if I do, everything will change. Am I ready for that?

“Just what, Lane?” his voice rumbles in his chest. “Tell me what you want.”

“I can’t,” I whisper.

Noel sighs then pulls away. I gaze up at him, and he closes his eyes. When he steps back, I grab for his hand, desperate to keep him close, but he moves too quick. He turns away, and there’s a tug in my heart toward him.

“Wait...” I say, and he stops in his tracks.

“For what? To be led on some more?” he asks with his back still toward me. When I don’t reply, he shoves his hands in his pockets and storms off.

Tears blur my vision, and I watch until he disappears around a corner. Why can’t I just bring myself to say fuck the job and go for Noel? I see how much I’m hurting him, and it could all be fixed if I just tell him I want him too.

Chapter 13

––––––––

I check my cell phone. My eighth text to Noel since his set ended still goes unanswered. He knew I wanted to leave for my parents’ house as soon as the show was over. No doubt he’s pissed at me for missing the performance, but seeing him so soon after our fight would’ve been too much. I needed to clear my head and think about what’s important to me.

The last text I send says, I’m leaving without you.

I sigh, grab my overnight bag, and step into the night air. Guess I’m going solo. I hop into the red Jetta we rented earlier and toss my stuff on the passenger seat. Everything is such a mess, and I don’t understand how it even got this way.

Thirty minutes into my drive, I pull through an all-night drive-thru and sit in the parking lot to eat. My eating habits lately have been less than stellar, so eating a carb-full meal feels good.

When I’m about fifteen minutes out from my parents’ house, I call my mom. “Hey, can you leave the door unlocked for me? I’ll be there soon.” I glance at the clock. It’s well after midnight.

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll try to wait up for you.”

I smile and tell her I love her. Right after I end the call, my cell chirps. My heart stops for a split second as I read Noel’s words.

Meet me on the dock.

He’s waiting on me. Emotions flood me, and I don’t realize I’m speeding like a bat out of hell until I glance at the speedometer. I take a deep breath and try to mentally prepare myself for what I’m going to say to him.

The minute I pull into my parents’ driveway, I exit the car and head down to the dock. It’s really dark. I could kick myself for not grabbing the flashlight from the house first, but I’m almost through the wooded area behind my childhood home. It doesn’t make sense to turn back now. I’m too close. The clock on my cell flashes twelve forty-five a.m., and I sigh. I can’t believe he came, and that he’s waiting at our special spot. When he didn’t answer me earlier, I figured he was out licking shots off a groupie’s stomach or something equally wild. Insecurity is one of my biggest downfalls, and I know it. It’s the main reason I ended things with Noel in high school. I wanted a secure future, not to struggle day in and day out.

Two steps later, I’m at the top of the hill on a path leading down to the lake. The moonlight bounces off the ripples on the water. I forgot how beautiful the lake is after dark. My eyes strain to see the dock, and they instantly widen. There he is, sitting on the railing with his elbows on his knees.

He turns his head toward me, and my heart stops. Noel is breathtaking by moonlight. This feels very intimate and familiar. I know once I go down there, I’ll be a goner. That thought makes me want to run back to my car as quickly as I can, but instead, I lift my chin and force my feet forward, ready to figure out this thing between us.

Noel stands when my shoes hit the wooden dock. His perfect face stretches into a lazy grin. My heart speeds up a notch, and I bite the inside of my cheek. He actually looks happy to see me, which takes me back. I thought he was pissed at me for all the mixed signals. I lift my hand in a wave.

“What’s this waving shit?” He rushes over, grabs me around the waist, and hoists me off the ground.

The laugh that bubbles out of my throat surprises me as he spins me. I was prepared for another fight. How weird is it that we can hug and laugh as though there isn’t bad blood between us? I squeeze my arms around his neck and inhale his manly scent as I melt into his muscled chest.

“Noel!” I squeal, and a thrill shoots through me as I say his name. “I’ll be sick.”

That only makes him laugh harder. He stops spinning and sets me on my feet. He cups my cheek. “God, Lane. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.”

I sigh, and instantly I wish I could just curl up in a ball and die from embarrassment. I can’t believe I actually swooned a little. I try to drop his gaze, but his hand holds me steady as he waits for me to say something.

Noel raises an eyebrow. “Is it okay that I’m here? You don’t hate me?”

Oh my God. Hate him? I think about Noel like a lovesick puppy, but there’s no way in hell I’m telling him that. How pathetic would he think I am if he knew I’ve sat around all evening pining for him? So instead, I smile and say, “I could never hate you.”

He tucks some hair behind my ear. “Good, because that would kill me. I’m sorry I tried to rush you. Relationships take time, I get that. It’s just I want you so much. I don’t think clearly when it comes to you. So, I’m sorry. I’ll try to slow down.”

Still locked in his arms, my fingers itch to touch his face. “I’m sorry, too.”

Noel cocks his head to the side and gazes down at me. “You know, I understand where you were coming from when you left me the last time we were here. Hell, even I’m surprised I made it in this biz. You were always the level-headed one.” He smiles and looks into my eyes. “But I’m sorry for that too—for the way things turned out. I should’ve gone after you and made things right between us. I didn’t know how you felt about me, and it killed me. I didn’t even know how to fix us after that.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t totally your fault. Things were changing so fast. High school was ending, and becoming an adult scared me. I wanted you to come to school with me, to still be with me. I was selfish. I shouldn’t have been so pushy. I knew who you were, and I shouldn’t have tried to change your dream. It was wrong of me, and I’m sorry.” I let out a huge sigh. “I’ve wanted to tell you that for so long. I figured since you never spoke to me again after that night out here, you hated my guts.”

The corners of his lips turn down, and his fingertips trace my cheek. “I could never hate you, either. I loved you.”

A tear slips from my eye. A million pounds fly off my heart. He doesn’t hate me. “Thank you.”

Noel brushes my tear with his thumb and cradles my face. A smile flirts along his lips. My heart thunders with anticipation, and I bite my lip. Noel’s eyes search my face. “Can I kiss you?”

I close my eyes and bite my lip. He has no clue how much I want to feel his lips on mine again. Every cell in my body quivers with need for him, and it scares me a little. My heart will crumble if this doesn’t work out.

I shake the last thought out of my head, and Noel frowns. “Is that a no?”

I panic a little because I don’t want him to think I’m rejecting him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull my body against his. “Definitely not a no.”

That’s all it takes.

Noel crushes his mouth to mine. Warmth spreads clear down to my toes as I melt into him. My lips part, and his tongue finds mine, slowly massaging. A sound catches in the back of his throat when I grip his hair in my fists and push my body against his. Noel’s hand slides under my shirt, and his fingers trail along the small of my back. I shiver. Heat spreads through me and I find myself breathing hard.

Noel grips both of my hips and glides his touch down my legs. His fingers dig into my thighs as he hoists me up onto the rail. My knees open, and he pushes between them. His erection strains against his jeans as he grinds into me. He trails kisses down my neck, and I toss my head back, arching my chest into him.

“Oh God, Lane. I want you so fucking much.”

A shudder tears through him when I moan in his ear. He grabs my chin between his forefinger and thumb. Blue eyes, alive with intense need, stare at me. He kisses my lips, and I close my eyes. He wants my permission to take it to the next level. All I have to do is say the words, and he’ll heal the aching need inside of me.

I lean in and trace his top lip with my tongue. “I’ve missed you.”

Noel’s mouth takes mine, our kisses deep and frenzied. I wrap my legs around his waist and grind my pelvis into his. The wood rail is rough against my butt through my jeans. He pulls back and sucks in a quick breath through his teeth. “Are you sure?”

His forehead rests against mine. The need to kiss him again is overwhelming. I smile and yank his face back to me. Noel grabs the hem of his black T-shirt and yanks it over his head. He tosses it on the dock. His bare chest is a wondrous sight to behold. The tips of my fingers glide down his pecs and linger on his well-defined abs.

Noel quirks his pierced eyebrow and wears the most devilish smile I’ve ever seen. “You like those, huh?”

My tongue darts out, wetting my lips before I chew on my bottom one. Of course I like them. What red-blooded woman wouldn’t? He’s damn near perfect. I was out of my mind when I walked out on him before. His lips claim mine, and his tattooed arms pull me in tight. Noel lets out a growl, and it’s unbelievably sexy to know I caused it. I grab the waistband of his jeans and pop open the button. He groans as I slowly unzip them and reach inside.

“No underwear?”

He shakes his head and traces my top lip with his tongue. “They always seem to get in the way.”

I giggle as he kisses my throat. “Uh-huh, you mean like right now?” I wrap my fingers around the base of him and give a tight squeeze.

He sucks in air through his teeth. “Jesus. Exactly like right now.”

I withdraw my hand and lick my fingers and palm.

Noel’s eyes widen. “When did you get so kinky?”

I shrug. “When did you decide underwear was a bad thing?” I shove my hand back inside his jeans and stroke his considerable length.

He gasps. “Point taken.”

His flesh is warm and solid in my hand. My hand barely wraps around it he’s so big. My pace increases, and Noel’s breathing grows steady in my ear.

He wraps his long fingers around my wrist. “I’m already too damn excited. If you keep that up, I won’t be able to hold back much longer.” I slow down, and he kisses my lips. “That’s it, baby. I wanna make this last. No need to rush.”

His words send a thrill through every inch of me. I can’t believe I’m this turned on already. The moisture in my panties presses against my skin. Noel’s hand slides under my shirt and trails up to my breast. All I can think about is him touching me.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been with anybody real,” he says between kisses.

That statement makes me wonder just how many non-real people he’s been with. He’s a rock star, for God’s sake. The numbers are probably well into the hundreds. My stomach turns a little at the thought of his lips all over tons of different women, and I fight back the urge to throw him off of me. Sleeping with him tonight wasn’t my intention. I figured we’d talk, figure things out. Instead, we’d barely talked five minutes before we’d gone straight into sex, just like we used to after a fight.

“Noel...” His name slips out almost like a moan. I meant it to come out sternly so he would get the point maybe this wasn’t a good idea, but it totally didn’t sound that way. It sounded encouraging, as if my body is enjoying his touch too much to turn him away.

I open my mouth to tell him to slow down, and right on cue, my cell phone rings. “Your mother is calling. Answer your phone. I’ll just keep calling.”

Noel laughs at my stupid ring tone for my mom as I reach in my pocket and hit ignore. He sweeps my hair away from my neck and trails his nose against my skin. “Mmmmm, I’m tempted to just eat you right here.”

“Noel—”

“Your mother is calling. Answer your phone. I’ll just keep calling.” I roll my eyes and hit ignore again.

Noel rests his forehead against mine. “Maybe you should call her back.”

I sigh and pull the phone out of my pocket. Mothers.

Mom answers on the first ring. “Lanie? Where are you? Are you all right?”

I roll my eyes. “Calm down, Mom. I’m fine. Really.” Noel snuggles against me and kisses my cheek while I explain to Mom that I’m out on the boat dock with Noel.

She sighs with relief. “Thank God you’re all right. I saw your car in the driveway and started to panic. There are some real crazies out there, you know. You scared me to death.”

“Well, don’t worry. I’m perfectly fine. We’ll be there in a couple of minutes,” I say before I tell her good-bye and hang up.

Noel’s lip pokes out a little, and he gives me puppy-dog eyes. “You’re going to leave me like this?”

I place a hand on his chest. “I’m sorry. This just feels really fast, plus this whole job thing is still going on.”

His thumb caresses by cheek, and his eyes roam over me. I study every inch of his face. It’s so beautiful, and the sad look in his eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life. Rejection is not the best way to end our reunion, but I’m not sure sleeping with him is a better choice. I can’t let him think I’m like all of his random groupies.

“Lane.” The way he says my name makes my toes curl. “I’m still crazy over you.” He runs his hand through his hair. “What I’m trying to say is...I’m sorry. I just got ahead of myself here. You seemed so into it.” He drops his hands to his sides, and he looks into my eyes. “I just want you back.”

Noel backs away from me and grabs his shirt. Cold air rushes over my skin when he shoves his hands in his pockets after putting on his shirt. He shrugs and walks away from me. I swallow hard as I watch him make his way down the dock. My hand clutches my chest and tears blur my vision. Is this how he felt when I left him standing here four years ago? A lost and broken shell?

I can’t let this happen. I’ve been miserable without him, and he just confessed he felt the same way. Two people who love each other so much should be able to work through anything. My legs wobble as I hop off the rail. Noel is halfway up the hill already, so I kick off my flip-flops and sprint down the dock—the wood rough beneath my feet.

“Noel!” My voice breaks a little as I call his name. He turns just in time to open his arms and catch me as I fling myself into his arms. “Don’t leave. Please.”

His arms circle my waist, and he buries his face in my long, brown hair. “I wasn’t going anywhere—only giving you space. I’ll do anything you want to make this happen between us, including give you time. I can’t lose you again. It hurts too fucking much.”

A surge of bravery shoots through me, and I kiss his lips.

Chapter 14

––––––––

The next morning, the smell of bacon and eggs wakes me. I roll over and stare around my childhood room. A picture of Noel and me at prom sits on my nightstand. I trace his face and warmth spreads through me. It feels good to reconnect with him, as though a part of me that was missing is back again.

Once I clear the bottom step, I see Noel in the kitchen with my mother. She looks so tiny next to him. She’s teaching him how to flip a pancake. Noel’s dark hair sticks up in every direction, and his blue eyes focus on the task. Mom laughs when Noel flips the pancake outside the pan. I smile. It’s nice to see they still get along so well.

Noel notices me leaning against the wall watching him, and he grins. “Hey, you! I was attempting to make you breakfast in bed, but I’m kind of screwing it up.”

My mom pats his shoulder. “Honey, you’re doing a great job. It just takes a little practice and finesse.”

I giggle when Noel flips another, and it slides halfway across the pan. Guess he’s not perfect at everything. It’s nice to see him back in a normal environment without all the rock star glam. Reminds me of the guy I loved in the first place. I walk over and stand beside him. “Can I help?”

Mom unties her apron and hands it to me. “I’m going for a little walk. You two enjoy breakfast.”

I take the apron, and she pats my cheek. It’s good to see her smile. She hasn’t done that much since Dad died. Her cheeks are a rosy-pink, and she looks more like her old self. People say I look just like her with my dark hair and green eyes, but I know I’m no beauty like her. She has beautiful fair skin, and mine has more of an olive tint like my dad’s. When my mother is gone, I turn back to Noel. He places two plates of pancakes on the kitchen table and pulls out a chair for me.

“It looks great.” I can’t believe he put so much effort into this. I notice the bacon and eggs on the table. “You didn’t have to go to all this trouble though. I would’ve been good with cereal.”

He laughs as he sits down beside me. “Are you kidding? I’m not going to turn down an offer from Kathy to learn how to cook. Her food is always amazing.”

I smile at the warm compliment about Mom. “She always did like you—her and dad both.”

Noel stops cutting his pancakes and frowns. “Why didn’t you tell me about your dad?”

I shrug and pour syrup on my plate to distract myself from crying. “Never really came up. It’s easier if I don’t think about it too much.”

He takes my hand. “You should’ve told me he died. I would’ve been there for you. I’m so sorry. I really liked Jim.”

I squeeze his hand. “Thank you. It was so unexpected, you know? Who would have thought he would get diagnosed with cancer at forty-nine? He went pretty quickly, so he didn’t suffer much. But it was still hard—the first year without him especially. ”

“I wish I could’ve been there for you.”

I touch his cheek. The stubble prickles my fingertips. “But you’re here now.”

He pulls my hand to his lips and kisses my fingers. “I’m never going anywhere again.”

After we wash up the dishes, we go to the garage in search of some fishing gear. Noel sorts through the poles until he comes to the bright pink one I always used. He hands it to me. “I remember this old thing.”

I laugh and take it, and he turns to pick out one for himself. “You remember it because this girlie thing always out-fishes you.”

He grabs the tackle box and rolls his eyes. “Come on, Ms. Fisherman. Show me how it’s done then.”

It’s amazingly easy being with Noel. The tension of not knowing how to approach one another is gone. While I’m still not completely sure how a relationship between Noel and I will affect my job, it doesn’t seem that important. Only being with him does. I sigh as we step on the dock. This place holds so many great memories of not only Noel and me, but days spent with my father too.

Noel sets our stuff down and wraps his arms around me. I lean into him, glad to feel his warmth and comfort. His spicy cologne is delicious and a welcome distraction to the emotion going on in my brain.

He pulls back and gives me a quick peck. “Ready to do this?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Only if you’re ready to have your ass handed to you by a girl.”

He chuckles and gives me another quick kiss before baiting our hooks with fake worms. We spend the next few hours on the dock talking and fishing. I’ve missed this—being with Noel. Close to three o’clock, we pack everything up so we can get cleaned up before dinner. Noel takes my hand as we walk back to the house, and he grins when I thread my fingers through his. When we make it to the top of the hill, I notice Mom setting up the back patio for dinner.

“Anything we can help you with?” Noel asks.

Mom smiles as she takes in the sight of our hands locked together. “Nope. I actually have everything under control. I did forget dessert though, so I’m going to run over to the market and pick up an apple pie and maybe some wine. The steaks are marinating. We’ll throw them on the grill when I come back.”

Noel nods and takes our fishing gear back to the garage.

“Okay, then. I’m going to take a quick shower and get ready,” I tell her as I follow her into the house.

After a shower, I go into my room and throw on a tank top and shorts before working on my wet hair. The door to my room flies open, and I gasp. Noel struts in wearing a towel. My jaw hangs open a little as I take in the sight of his bare chest and tattooed arms. If it wasn’t for my self-imposed kissing-only rule, I’d be all over him.

He smirks at my expression. “Don’t worry. I’m only coming in to get some clothes. We put my bag in here last night before we made up the couch for me, remember?”

I swallow hard, still unable to look away from his body. He notices me staring, and his smile turns wickedly sexy. Noel starts toward me like a tiger stalking prey, slow and deliberate movements. His approach causes my stomach to knot. I sit on my bed, hoping that will stop him from coming any closer. I don’t know how much longer I can keep telling him no.

Noel sits beside me and twists around, holding his towel in place with one hand, to look into my eyes. “What do you say, Lane? We have the house all to ourselves. We’re in your old room. It’ll be just like old times.”

“Noel...” I warn.

He ignores me. He cups my face, leans in, and kisses me. There’s purpose behind his kiss. It’s soft, yet rough enough to mean business. I close my eyes, and my fingers find their way into the hair on the nape of his neck. Noel pushes me down on the bed and kisses down my neck. The scruff on his chin scratches my skin. He pulls the strap of my tank top down and kisses my collar bone. A ripple of pure pleasure jets clear down to my toes. I grab his face and pull his mouth back to mine. The kiss feels desperate, as if we need each other more than air. I want to be closer to him. I can’t get enough.

“Fuck the kissing-only rule. I need you. Be with me, please,” he says.

I close my eyes as I melt from his pleading words. Noel helps me out of my shirt and slides his large hands down the length of my torso. He sits back on his heels in the bed and reaches for the button on my shorts. My body writhes, begging for him to undress me.

He pops the button open and unzips my jean shorts. Noel bends at the waist and kisses the hollow of my throat. A moan escapes me as he works his way down to my breasts. His index finger runs along the lace at the top of the cup of my bra.

“These are so nice,” he says as he peels back my bra. My nipples stand erect from the chill, and he smiles. “So nice.” He wraps his lips around one and sucks.

I arch my back. His mouth feels amazing. “Noel...”

“Tell me,” he murmurs against my nipple. “Tell me how much you want me—only me.”

He slides his hand down my stomach and shoves down my shorts. His tongue swirls around my pink nipple, and I shiver. “God...Noel!”

“Say it,” he commands, his breath hot against my skin.

“I want you. I need you.” I should feel self-conscious saying that, but I don’t care. It’s the truth.

“Yes, baby. Only me,” he growls against my skin and shoves his hand inside my panties.

“Only you, Noel,” I cry. “Oh, God.”

“Damn, you are so wet,” he whispers. “I want to bury myself in you so deep.”

Noel’s fingers slide against my wet flesh before he dips a finger inside of me. I moan and arch against his palm. He works his finger in and out a few times before slipping in another. His steady motion makes me pant. If I wasn’t in such desperate need for him, I would be embarrassed by my loud breathing. At this point, I don’t care. I want him so much.

He pulls out and flicks my clit, and I nearly explode on the spot. I sit up and reach for the towel. It falls from around his waist onto the bed. He is ready for me, hard and standing at attention. I grab the base of him and stroke. The memory of him inside me long ago floods me. I lick my lips, stretch forward, and take the tip of him in my mouth. Noel sucks in a quick breath through his teeth, and the sound make my insides quiver with need. I relax and suck him in as far as I can.

“That feels so fucking good, baby.”

The need to please him fills me to the brim. I take my mouth away and say, “Lay back.”

I crawl to his side and slide my hair away from my face so he can watch me take his hard length into my mouth again. He moans and lets out of string of soft curse words before shoving his head back against a pillow. Sleeping with him goes against everything I’ve been telling myself since I agreed to this job, but it feels right, as if there’s nothing else.

Noel slides a finger under my panties and massages the sensitive flesh between my swollen cleft. Need builds inside me—a need to have him inside me, thrusting deep, trying to reach my core. Heat floods me as he strokes my clit. A tremor shoots though my whole body as I come, moaning around his cock.

Noel sits up, lifts my chin, and claims my mouth with his. “I want to be inside you, but more than anything, I want to come inside you. Are you on the pill?”

My breath comes out in a heavy pant. “Yes.” I don’t ask anything else because I don’t care. I want him so much it actually hurts.

He shoves me back against the bed and kisses me as if I’m his world. His lips scorch me as they trail down my neck. It feels so good. I don’t want this feeling to ever go away. Noel’s tongue darts out and licks my nipple before he nips it teasingly. I gasp from the sensual pain. He looks up at me and grins before working his way down. The muscles in my right leg tense when he throws it over his shoulder. A finger slides inside of me as he sucks my most sensitive flesh.

An ache builds inside me again. “Noel, oh God. I’m going to come.”

That only encourages him. He laps my folds, and when he flicks his tongue, I cry out. Release floods me as my second orgasm rips through me, and I grab a fistful of Noel’s hair.

Before I have a chance to fully recover, Noel grabs my hips and pulls me toward him. He shoves the head of his cock inside me and groans. “Fuck, Lane. Oh my God, you’re so fucking tight. I already want to come.”

His fingers dig into my hips as he pushes all the way in me. I bite my lip to keep from crying out. The feel of him inside me, stretching me, lights me on fire. The sound of his skin smacking mine fills the room as he drives into me. I grab my boobs to keep them from bouncing. Noel growls in approval and pumps faster and harder. I lift my hips to meet his, and he shuts his eyes. He’s close, and I can feel my own need building for the third time.

“Lane, fuck. I’ve missed you so much.”

I run my fingers through his hair. “I’ve missed you, too.”

His mouth claims mine in a quick kiss before I feel his back tense under my fingers. A primal growl emits from his throat, and he bites his lip in ecstasy as he erupts inside me, filling me. He collapses on top of me and buries his face in the crook of my neck. A content sigh comes out of his mouth before he leans up and kisses my lips. I feel exactly the same. Noel rolls onto his side. His large hands pull me close, and he runs his nose runs across my jaw.

“That was...wow,” he says.

“Mmmm,” I sigh in agreement.

His fingers trail across my stomach, and I slide closer. The slightest little movement from him causes my body to crave more. I can’t believe I’m blissfully lying in his arms after the most intense sex I’ve ever had.

Noel laughs. “Who knew we didn’t have a clue what we were doing back then. It’s a wonder you didn’t dump me for my lack of sexual skills.”

I hate when we talk about our breakup and all the time we missed together. How many other women have lain in this exact spot with Noel since then? Ten, twenty . . . a hundred? I cringe. “Like I had a lot of bragging room.” I smile at him as I try to push thoughts of the past out of my mind.

He props up on his elbow and twirls a lock of my hair. “I’ve been wondering something, but I don’t want you to get angry with me.”

I run my fingers along the stubble on his chin. “I won’t get angry with you, I promise. You can ask me anything.”

“Have you been with anyone other than me? I know four years is a long time, and I suspect you have been, but I was just curious. It doesn’t matter to me if you were.”

I wish I’d never been with Cory, the only boyfriend I’ve had since Noel. He’s the worst thing about my past. He almost made me want to never trust men again.

Noel’s thumb runs over my cheek. “What are you thinking?” He kisses my shoulder. “Tell me, please. If something is bothering you, I want you to talk to me about it.”

I stare into his blue eyes. It would kill me if things between us didn’t work out. Cory nearly ruined me. Relationships are built on trust, and Noel has to know everything about my past. Honesty is the one thing I discovered is a necessity for something to work between two people. “I’ve only been with one person since you.”

He raises his eyebrows in surprise. “One? That’s it?”

I smack his arm. “Why would you expect more? You know I’m not that way.” I look away from him. “And I regret that one to tell you the truth.”

Noel rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling. “I knew you were too fucking good for me.”

I roll over and stare down at him. “Don’t say that. If anything, you’re too good for me.”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m really not. You’re perfect and sweet. A good girl. I’m just going to taint you.”

“You’re not.” I grab his face and stare into his eyes. “If anyone tainted me, it was my ex. You’ll never treat me the way he did. I know you wouldn’t. Don’t ever think that you’re too good for me. Ever.”

He frowns. “What did he do to you?”

I glance away. The pain from my memory still cuts deep. It’s the ultimate betrayal. “I walked in on him having sex with another girl in his dorm room.”

Noel’s eyes soften, and he sits up. His arms wrap around me. “I’m so sorry. Were you with him long?”

I nod while Noel strokes the bare skin on my back. “A little over two years. He was my first real college friend, and it turned into more. I thought I knew him. I never dreamed he was screwing every girl he could get his hands on behind my back.”

“Want me to kick his ass?”

I laugh. “I’d prefer to never talk about him again. It’s in the past.”

Noel smiles. “That’s fine with me. I’ll never do you wrong. You know that, right? No matter what you hear about me, just know that no other girl could ever compare to you. You’re all that I want. Don’t believe anything other than that.”

I think about all the pictures I’ve seen on the internet—Noel with a different woman in each one. “Are you telling me you don’t get around? I saw you with the two blonde bimbos, remember?”

He frowns. “I’m not saying there weren’t other women. There were, but in my sick, twisted mind, they were all you. I’ve never stopped loving you. I didn’t think I would have another shot with you. You left me, remember? I tried to get over you, but I couldn’t.”

My heart flops. It doesn’t matter how many women he’s slept with since we were apart. All that matters is that he’s mine now, and he only wants me. I can see it in his eyes. He means what he’s telling me.

Noel pushes back my hair and cups my face. “I love you, Lane. I always have.”

That’s all I need to hear. I melt into his touch. “I love you, too.”

His lips crush mine, and he pushes me down on the bed. Noel settles his body on top of mine, and I can feel his erection slide up against me. I smile against his lips before we make love one more time.

Chapter 15

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After finishing up the final touches on dinner, I help Mom bring out the food. I set the potato salad on the table on the back deck, and she brings out the salad. I glance over at Noel, who stands watch over the grill, and smile. He’s grinning while he stares at the steaks, and I wonder if he’s thinking about the incredible sex we just had in my room. The kissing rule didn’t last long, but I’m not one bit upset over it.

“Honey”—Mom touches my arm—“I didn’t think you two were back together.”

I shrug and bite my lip. “Things change.”

Mom nods and her eyes light up. “I thought so. That boy is still crazy over you.”

A fierce blush creeps up my neck and floods my cheeks. “Yeah, well, I know exactly how he feels.”

The doorbell rings before she can dig for any additional details, and I’m grateful. It’s hard to explain a relationship status I’m unsure about. Muffled conversation comes from inside the house, and Noel turns away from the grill. He grins when his mother steps outside. Instantly he’s in front of her, wrapping her up in a big bear hug. Warmth spreads through me, and I choke back a tear. I’m glad I made this happen.

“Noel, honey, it’s so good to see you.” His mom, Irene, pats his back while in his embrace.

His smile causes his eyes to twinkle. “You too, Mom. I’ve missed you so much. I can’t believe it’s been so long.”

Irene pulls back and touches her son’s cheek. “Let’s not wait another four years, okay?” She glances in my direction with tears streaming down her face. “Lanie, get over here and give me a hug.” She wraps her slender arms around me and whispers in my ear, “Thank you for bringing back my boy.”

When she lets go, she flips her dark hair over her shoulder and I can’t help but notice how many features Noel takes from his mom: the hair color, the ocean-clear blue eyes, and the heartwarming smile. Noel grabs the steaks off the grill while the rest of us sit. He sits between me and Irene and fills us in about life on the road.

“I’ve been curious, Noel. How did you meet your bandmates? I’ve seen pictures of all you boys, and I don’t remember any of them from around here,” my mom says.

Noel swallows the steak he is chewing and glances at Irene. “On the road. After high school, I traveled for a while.”

I frown, knowing that isn’t exactly what happened, but I know he’s trying to keep Irene from having to explain that her husband exiled his own son. No matter what I did, Mom would never cut me out of her life like that. I always kept the problems between him and his father from her, so she wouldn’t understand the underlying tension in their relationship.

Mom lifts her brow. “Really? Irene, I don’t know how you and Frank kept sane. Jim and I would’ve been out of our minds with worry if Lanie took off like that, being so young.”

Irene’s lips twist as though she’s fighting back a sob. “It wasn’t really up to me.”

Noel grabs her hand. “It’s okay, Mom. I know it wasn’t your fault.”

She can’t stop herself. Irene buries her face into a napkin and lets out a soft sob. “Yes, it is. I should’ve stopped your father from kicking you out. It wasn’t right. Just because you refused to go to college like he wanted didn’t give him the right to take you away from me.” Irene sighs. “He misses you, you know. I told him you were here, and he wants to see you.”

He pulls his lips into a tight line but doesn’t answer. Irene waits on Noel’s response, but I can tell by the look on his face he doesn’t like the turn of this conversation.

“Jesus. Mom, we’ve been through this. I don’t want—”

She pulls her cell phone from her purse. “Let me call him, tell him you’re going to come over and talk.”

Noel’s jaw muscle works under his skin. “No! I went through hell when he threw me out. He knew what I was going through when Lane dumped me, and he told me to leave anyway. He didn’t care if I had a place to stay or food to eat. Why the hell should I care about his feelings now?”

“Noel Anthony Falcon,” his mom scolds, “you should give your father a chance. He’s sorry.”

He rolls his eyes and stands abruptly.

“Noel?” his mother asks with a little panic in her voice.

He leans down and kisses the top of her head. “It was good to see you, Mother.” He leaves without another word and without looking back. I hear the Escalade start and then tear down the road.

Mom hugs Irene as she sobs. “He just needs some time. Give him that. He’ll come around.”

My heart aches both for the pain that I know Noel is going through and for his parents. It’s apparent there is still a lot of love there, but both father and son are too damn proud to be the first to reconnect. An hour rolls past, and Noel hasn’t returned. Mom is out of comforting things to tell Irene, and she’s still a crying mess. I send Noel a quick text to check on him, and it’s almost immediately answered.

Back at the bus. Sorry I didn’t come back. Just couldn’t deal.

I sigh and stuff my phone back in my pocket. “He’s back in Dallas.”

Irene peers at me through bloodshot eyes. “You have to go to him, Lanie, and convince him to forgive his father.”

“Mrs. Falcon, I don’t think it’s my—”

“You have to. It’s tearing us apart. I can’t lose my only son.”

She looks miserable, and I hurt for her. I notice Mom’s face. Her head tilts slightly to the right and her face scrunches. I’ve seen that look countless times since Dad passed away. It’s hard to lose a loved one. I’ve learned just how difficult it can be, and I don’t want something to happen to Noel’s father while this huge rift is between them. That would kill Noel. For his own sake, I need to try to at least get him to talk to his dad.

I rub my forehead. I have no clue how I’m going to get him to agree. “Okay. I’ll do my best. No promises.”

His mother reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Thank you.”

The bus is oddly quiet. I open the bedroom door and find Noel lying on the bed. His arm drapes over his beautiful face while he takes deep, sleeping breaths. I set my bag on the floor and crawl in bed beside him. I wrap my arms around his stomach and rest my chin on his chest.

He removes his arm from his face and smiles sheepishly. “Hi. You’re not pissed at me?”

I shake my head. “Why would I be mad at you? I understand why you left.”

He traces the bare skin on my arm. “You do?”

“Your mom shouldn’t force you to talk to Frank. I know you’ll do it when you’re ready.”

He closes his eyes. “That’s just it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that.”

“Why? I’m sure you two can find a way to forgive each other.”

Noel’s eyes narrow. “Forgive me? I didn’t do a damn thing to that man.”

His anger startles me. I sit up Indian-style. “I didn’t say you did. I just know that sometimes saying sorry, even if it’s not your fault, goes a long way in smoothing out a fight.”

He leans up on both elbows. “I will never tell that man sorry. You don’t know the cruel things he said to me the night he kicked me out.” Noel throws his legs over the bed and sits with his back to me. Just when I think he’s going to let me into that brain of his, he shuts me out.

I frown. “What did he say?”

Both shoulders slump, and he takes a deep breath. “He said”—he clears his throat—“he said I was one huge mistake. That all I’ve ever been is a disappointment to him.”

His shoulders shake, and I know he’s crying. I slide beside him and wrap my arms around him. “I’m sorry.”

He wipes his eyes with his palm and sniffs. “I don’t know why I’m being such a fucking baby about this.”

I kiss his cheek. “Don’t be ashamed to share your feelings with me.”

He rests his forehead against mine. His scent surrounds me, and I can’t help to think about earlier in the day when we had toe curling sex in my bedroom. I inhale deeply and close my eyes. Noel leans in and brushes his mouth against mine. He works his way down my jaw line. I can tell he’s thinking about this afternoon as well. I stifle a moan as his tongue traces the sensitive skin over my pulse point. I run my fingers into his hair as I feel arousal build between my legs.

“Lane...I need you.” His mouth is on mine, and his hands tug at my shorts. He slips his tongue in my mouth, and a low groan emits from the back of his throat.

The taste of him shoots a thrill through me, and I push his shirt up before shoving him back on the bed. I kiss every inch of his abs before he sits up and helps me out of my shirt. He unclasps my bra and tugs it down so my breasts spring free. Noel wraps his lips around my nipple, and the moan I held back earlier escapes me. Every inch of me burns with an intense fire for him. Eager hands tear at my shorts after he pulls his shirt over his broad shoulders.

We roll over, and he pins my arms above my head. His lips attack mine in a hot frenzy. He pulls back, stands up, and seizes my hips, sliding me across the bed. I lift my hips as he grips the waistband of my shorts and panties and removes them from my body. I slip my hands inside his jeans and shove them down, revealing his perfect ass.

A lazy grin spreads across his face as he steps out of his pants and climbs on top of me. “I want you to be mine.” He glides his fingers against my slick folds.

An ache fills me. I need this man. I need him in my heart and inside my body. No matter the tension or the job. I want to be his. “I’m yours.” I cry out as he dips a finger inside me. Pleasure rolls through every nerve, and my inner muscles ripple and clench around him. Every stroke of his finger fans the fire within. When his thumb circles my clit, I toss my head back in ecstasy as I explode around him.

“God, you’re so fucking hot when you come.” His tongue flicks my nipple. He kisses my lips and sinks his hips between my thighs. His pressing cock teases my moist heat and causes me to squirm.

My arms encircle his body, and my hands run down the rigid muscles in his back. One swift thrust, and he’s inside me. A shudder rips through me as he growls. The steady grinding of his hips causes the ache to build in my core again. Each penetration seems slow and deliberate, as if he’s savoring making me his. His blue eyes stare into mine, and I run my fingers along his jaw. He leans into my palm and closes his eyes as he pumps his hips faster. The mattress moves with every thrust, and I lift my bottom up to meet his hips, allowing him to fill me further.

A second orgasm rips through me. “Oh, God.”

That only excites him, and he increases the rhythm. Sweat beads across his face, and he bites his lip. “You feel so fucking good.”

He’s holding back, I can see it in his face. “Let go for me.”

He shakes his head. “I want to make this last. I don’t want it to end.”

I bring his mouth down to mine and kiss him deeply. “I’m not going anywhere. Trust me.”

As soon as the last word leaves my mouth, he cries out in pure pleasure. “Lane. Oh fuck.”

Warmth fills me as I release one last time with him. Noel erupts inside me, filling me with his hot seed after one final thrust. His entire body shivers, and he collapses on top of me. Soft kisses cover both of my cheeks and then finally my lips.

Chapter 16

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Noel’s steady breathing tells me he’s asleep. I roll over on my side and watch the beautiful man beside me. Who knew my heart was capable of holding so much love for one person? My stomach rumbles, and I remember I never ate dinner earlier thanks to Noel and his antics. Being on this bus for the rest of the tour is going to be crazy.

I push myself up, and Noel reaches for me. “Where are you going?”

I rub his arm. “I’m just going to try to find something to eat. I’m starving.”

He frowns with his eyes closed. “We probably don’t have much out there. I’m sorry. I can send someone to pick you up something.”

He’s unbelievably sweet. “No, that’s okay. I’m sure I can find something.” I bend down and kiss his cheek. “Go back to sleep, baby.”

He smiles, pulls me into him, and kisses my lips. “Hurry back.”

Reluctantly, I pull away from Noel’s warm embrace, and he rolls onto his side. The clothes I had on earlier are flung around the room. I find my underwear on the floor and slip them on along with one of Noel’s cotton T-shirts. The cloth runs over my nose, and I breathe in. It still smells like him. I turn back to watch him. He’s already fallen asleep.

I open the door and peek out. The lights are dim, and all the curtains on the foxholes are drawn tight. The sound of the guys returning to the bus earlier had woken me, so I figure they are lingering around somewhere. A couple of snores come from the bunks as I walk past, and I chuckle. The twins are obviously out for the count after their two-day spread of groupie sex.

Once inside the kitchen, I’m surprised to see Aubrey and Riff snuggling on the loveseat. I thought she was at her parents. They examine me as I come into view. I do my best to ignore them and head straight for the little kitchen area, and I hope they’ll do the same for me.

No such luck.

Riff stands and pulls Aubrey up with him. I roll my eyes as they plop down at the bench seat at the table. I squat and look through the cabinets. The fabric from Noel’s shirt is big enough that it hangs down to my thighs, but I wish I would have put on some shorts. Riff’s eyes boring into my back have me on edge.

A cabinet door shuts behind me, and I glance in their direction. Riff sits down with a package of Oreos. The rumble in my stomach is audible. What I wouldn’t give for one of those cookies. He peels back the wrapper, and my mouth waters.

“Make yourself useful and grab us some milk from the fridge,” Riff says. “I always keep it in there. The guys know better than to take my stuff.”

Sure enough, there’s a gallon of two percent white milk in there. I set it on the counter and search for a couple glasses.

“There should be some plastic cups on the stop shelf, above the sink,” Riff informs me as I poke around.

Only one cup is left in the bag, and my heart sinks. Damn. Oreos aren’t the same without milk. I pour the milk into it for Riff and walk over to the table. I set down the cup and slide into the seat across from them.

He pushes the package toward me. “You don’t want milk too?”

I shrug and pull out a cookie. “Only one cup.”

Riff smiles and puts his cup in the middle. “We can share it—just no double dipping. I heard where your mouth’s been.”

Aubrey smacks his arm. “Sorry, Lanie, but you were kind of loud.”

Heat rises up my neck, and my face flushes. It never occurred to me that I’m loud enough for the guys on the bus to hear Noel and I having sex, but it obviously should have. I mean, I heard every single moan on the other side of the door when they had their parties in full swing. How could I be so naive to think they couldn’t hear me too?

Riff chuckles and dunks a cookie in the milk. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. It was fucking hot. Noel’s one lucky son of a bitch.”

Aubrey giggles and winks at me.

I cover my face with my hand. “Oh, God.”

Riff bites into his cookie. “You say that a lot, don’t you?”

My head snaps up. “Can we please stop talking about this? It’s not exactly the kind of conversation I should be having with you guys.”

He shrugs. “You know, about the ticket thing, I’m sorry. You did try to blow me off. I didn’t think you meant it. I thought it was your angle.”

“My angle?”

Riff nods. “Most chicks play games. You weren’t the first girl who played the hard-to-get card with me. I figured you read one of my interviews where I said that turned me on.”

The tension I feel toward him melts a little with his apology. He seems sincere, and since he put it that way, I could see why he thought I’m a groupie. I dip my cookie in the milk, too. “An interviewer actually asked what your turn-ons were?”

“You wouldn’t believe some of the shit we get asked. Noel gets the worst of it though, being the front man and all. People are constantly trying to dig up things on him. He’s good at keeping his life secret.”

I swallow the cookie. “It’s not like Noel has a lot of dirt to find.”

Riff raises his eyebrows. “How long has it been since you dated him?”

“A little over four years. Why?”

Riff looks away and takes out another cookie. “A lot can happen in four years, Lanie.”

What is that supposed to mean? Is he saying Noel has a lot of dirt—dirt that even my hours of internet stalking didn’t uncover? Noel is a good guy. I don’t buy it. I shrug. “I’m sure Noel isn’t intentionally hiding things from me. We all have pasts and secrets we don’t want people to know.”

Riff’s eyes scan my face. “We most certainly do.” Riff pops the last Oreo in his mouth. His gaze never leaves me, as if he’s waiting for more questions that I never ask. Anything in Noel’s past is just that—in the past. If I need to know something, I’m sure he’ll tell me.

Riff stands and sticks out his hand. “Truce?”

I smile as his large fingers wrap around my hand. “Truce. I would like that. We should be friends since you and Aubrey...you know.”

Riff glances over at my friend and wiggles his eyebrows. “Oh yeah, I know. Friends it is.”

When Riff leaves the room, Aubrey turns in my direction. She smirks, and I shake my head. “Don’t you shake your head at me, missy,” she says. “I told you all about mine. Now it’s your turn to dish. It sounded incredible!”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Aubrey...”

She yanks my hands away from my face. “Stop it. Don’t be embarrassed. You had a good time—nothing wrong with that. So tell me, does he get his Sex God title back now?”

I roll my eyes and smile.

She smacks the table and grins. “I knew it. That guy is sex on a stick.”

Aubrey stays on the bus with Riff and me until it’s time to head to the next stop on the tour. Riff walks her to the car, no doubt for a hot good-bye make out session. I’ll miss her, but I only have a week or so left until I’ll see her all the time.

That thought makes me a little sad. It also means I only have a week left with Noel.

The next morning, I wake in Noel’s bed. His arm holds me tight against his side. Warm breath wafts rhythmically against my neck. The smell of his skin so close intoxicates me, and I find myself craving to be closer to him. I trace the tattoos on his forearm—each one fading into the next. Both of his arms are living pieces of art. Beautiful.

Noel nudges my neck with his nose. “Mmmmm. I want to wake up like this every morning.”

I smile, and my insides turn into mush. “Me too. I love being here with you.”

He kisses my neck and rubs my bare arm. “Good, because I plan on keeping you here forever.”

I roll to face him. “Forever?”

His blue eyes peer up at me through impossibly long and sexy eyelashes. “Afraid so. I’m addicted to you. There’s no way I can be without this now.”

I giggle and kiss his lips. He is simply the most amazing man on the planet. How did I ever get so lucky? “What do you think will keep me here?”

The softness of his lips against my jaw makes my toes curl. I wiggle closer. Noel’s hot skin against mine is maddening. I hitch my leg over his hip, and he runs his hand up my calf then hooks around my knee. His hard length presses against me through my underwear, and I gasp.

Noel smiles and grinds into me. “This.”

A moan escapes my lips, and Noel’s mouth claims mine. I claw at his back as he rolls on top of me. His hand shoves up the T-shirt I put on last night—my naked breasts on display for him. Noel’s eyes roam over my chest before he dips down and sucks one of my nipples. Oh God, his tongue can do wondrous things.

Noel chuckles against my skin. “Quiet, baby. The guys are still asleep out there.”

I slap my hand over my mouth. Am I being loud again? How embarrassing.

Noel kisses a trail down my stomach, and I sigh. His fingers grip my underwear over my hips, and he pulls them off of me. I laugh when he tosses them over his shoulder and smirks. His expressions sometimes are downright sexy. I grin and close my eyes, full of anticipation of what comes next.

The suite is amazing. I’ve never been in a hotel this nice. Ever. The bellboy leaves our luggage in the bedroom, and Noel gives the kid a large tip. His eyes light up, and he thanks Noel profusely before leaving our room. My Noel, always a nice guy.

Noel wraps his arms around my waist, and I thread my fingers into his hair. “That’s nice of you.”

He smiles and shrugs. “I know what it’s like working for every dollar you get. If a hundred-dollar bill makes the kid’s day, it’s the least I can do.”

I kiss his lips. “You are unbelievably sweet, you know that?”

“Speaking of sweet.” Noel sighs. “The Kid’s Wish Foundation contacted me yesterday and asked me to visit a little boy with leukemia. Apparently I’m his idol, and his wish is to meet me.”

“That’s amazing. When do you get to meet him?”

“Tomorrow. The organization booked a flight for me to Tucson after tonight’s show.”

My heart sinks a little at the thought of not being with him for a day.

He tilts my chin up and gazes at me. “It’s only for one night. I’ll be back before you know it. Besides, your boss is flying in tomorrow. You have to stick around and find out what exactly you marketing types need to do with Black Falcon’s charity to get it off the ground.”

“You owe me close to a thousand hours for all these kisses, you know.”

He laughs. “Hours well spent if you ask me. You have full control of the charity. I know you’ll do what you think is best and it will be amazing.”

I lay my head on his chest. His kindness knows no limits. “You are the most amazing person I know.”

He chuckles and kisses the top of my head. “Right back at ya.”

We stay locked in each other’s arms for a few moments. The steady thud of his heartbeat keeps time in my ear. My fingers trace the taut muscles in his shoulders. I don’t think a more perfect man exists. Noel can have any woman in the world, and yet he chooses me. I wonder if that officially makes me the luckiest girl on the planet.

He twirls a lock of my hair. “What do you want to do today?”

I pull back and lick my lips. Noel smiles as I run an index finger down his chest. “Oh, I don’t know. What did you have in mind?”

His gaze smolders as he runs his tongue over his top lip. “I have lots of things in mind that I would like to do to you, but I’m afraid you just might break me if we keep up this pace. You’re insatiable.”

A shudder ripples through me. Oh, how I would like to have him try all those things on me, but he’s right. If we keep this up, we’ll never see the light of day again. We’ve had sex three amazing times today. Noel is the insatiable one, or well, just as bad as me. My last boyfriend never had the stamina for more than once a day.

I grin and look up at him. “You’re right. We should get something to eat. I can’t live on Oreos alone.”

Noel’s eyes widen. “Shit. I have to buy Riff more. He gets bitchy if someone eats his food.”

“I don’t think he minded. He gave them to me.”

Noel’s brow furrowed. “He was up with you last night?”

His body tenses under my touch. The tension whenever Riff’s name comes up is odd. The anger between them clearly hasn’t left his system. “Yeah, he and Aubrey both. He actually apologized again for the Golden Ticket thing.”

Noel shoves his lips into a thin line and runs his hand through his hair. “Did he say anything else?”

The thought crosses my mind to ask him about the dirt Riff implied, but the anger on Noel’s face stops me. I don’t understand his problem with Riff. He always tells me his bandmates are his brothers. The way he acts toward Riff isn’t very brotherly love like.

I place my hands on Noel’s shoulders. “Are you okay? Do we need to talk about something?”

Noel flinches as if I’d just smacked him in the face. “No. Why? Do you think we have something we need to discuss?”

His tone catches me off guard. Why is he so defensive all of the sudden? Is he really keeping things from me? I drop my hands from his chest. “No. I guess not.”

I turn to walk away, but he catches my hand. “Hey...are you mad at me?”

I shake my head. “Of course not. I just don’t understand why you’re getting so angry.”

He sighs and pulls me back against his body. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you. Riff can push my buttons like no other. I don’t want him around you when I’m not there.”

Maybe he isn’t hiding anything. I trace his jaw. “You may not trust Riff, but you need to trust me. There’s no one I want other than you. Nothing he can say will ever change that.”

Noel pulls my hand away from his face and kisses my fingertips. “I don’t want to lose you. The thought of it scares the shit out of me.”

“Me too. I can’t believe we’re together again. Nothing is going to break us up this time.” My voice sounds firm.

His large hands cup my face, and his thumbs rub against my cheeks. His blue eyes search my face. “Promise?”

I don’t look away from his gaze. “I promise.”

Noel’s mouth crushes mine as the words leave my lips. Heat bounds between us, and my hands fly up into his thick, dark hair. His hands slide up under my T-shirt and stroke the flesh on the small of my back.

I moan, and Noel chuckles. “I love that you get turned on so fast for me. It’s unbelievably sexy. How come you weren’t like this in high school?”

I kiss his lips and shrug. “Scared, I guess, and inexperienced.”

He grins. “What do you expect from two virgins?”

He cuddles me tighter, and I smile. “True, but I’m glad it was you.”

“Me too.”

We spend the rest of the day hanging out in our room. Most of the time, we’re in each other’s arms making plans and filling in the blanks between us from the last few years. The food from our room service order is devoured quickly.

“Are you excited that your boss will be here tomorrow?” Noel asks.

I swallow down the last bite of my hamburger before answering. “Excited and nervous.”

He tilts his head. “Why nervous? You already have the job locked down.”

“I know, but I really want Diana to like me. If she finds out that we are...together, she may not take me so seriously.”

People from all over the globe request Diana for projects. She has the magic touch. It seems as if everything she gets her hands on turns into a worldwide phenomenon. I can only dream of having a career like hers one day.

He touches my cheek. “How could she not love you? You’re the best person I know. You’re straight laced—head always in the right direction. I pretty much think you’re perfect. And who doesn’t love perfection?”

I blush and look away. He thinks I’m perfect. The most perfect man in the world thinks I’m perfect. Someone needs to pinch me soon because this is too much like a damn dream. “I’m nowhere near perfect.”

Noel nods and taps my nose. “You are to me.” He hops off the bed. “I have to take a shower and get ready to meet up with the guys for sound check.”

I gaze up at him and grin. “I suppose you want me to wash your back?”

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “That would be nice...among other things.”

I laugh and chuck a pillow at him as he heads toward the bathroom. His faded jeans hug his back side just right, and I appreciate the view. How did I ever get so lucky? My cell phone rings the minute Noel shuts the bathroom door. I fish it out of my purse by the third ring. I smile when I see who’s calling.

“Too busy to call me this morning or what? I need some juicy details. I’m dying over here,” Aubrey says.

I giggle. “Well, I was a little...preoccupied.”

“Score one for the Sex God. I bet he’s amazing.”

I’m silent for few seconds, and I know the suspense is killing Aubrey. “You know how they say things get better with time...”

Aubrey shrieks. “Gah! You are so lucky. He’s amazingly hot, sweet, and now we can add great in bed to the list. You know I’m jealous, right?”

“Why are you jealous? You and Riff have a thing.”

She sighs. “A thing is right. The thing that boy can do with his tongue...”

“Okay, okay. I don’t want to hear about your Sexual Olympics.”

She laughs as Noel pokes his head out of the bathroom door. I frown and point at the phone so he knows I won’t be coming in. He rolls his eyes and closes the door.

I catch up with Aubrey for the next few minutes about her family. She keeps turning the conversation back to Riff. She asks me at least twenty times in a few minutes if he’s asked about her or not. After I convince her that Riff is secretly madly in love with her, she finally lets me off the phone.

Noel steps into the large bedroom wearing nothing but a towel. Water droplets speckle his chest, and the smell of his body wash fills the room. He lays a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt on the bed next to me, and my eyes trail over his body as if it’s dessert. The way his muscles bulge under his skin really is spectacular. It’s practically art—the naughty kind that women love to drool over.

Noel laughs, and I jerk my head back down and grab my laptop. I know he’s caught me staring, but it’s hard not to. He pulls on his jeans, with no underwear, and throws on his shirt. Men are so lucky. They can look yummy in less than fifteen minutes.

After I’m ready, we head out of our love nest holding hands. Noel’s thumb strokes the skin on the back of my hand. The small gesture is somehow the most reassuring thing in the world. A black Town Car with tinted windows waits at the entrance of the hotel. The driver, wearing a black suit, nods at Noel before opening the back door for us. Noel helps me into the car then slides in next to me. The driver shuts us in and hops in the front. The smooth car pulls out onto the road. It’s crazy that Noel has so much money he doesn’t even have to drive himself around like a normal person anymore.

“Do you still have your car?” I ask Noel.

His eyes sparkle a little at the mention of his black Chevelle. “Yep. She’s tucked away in my garage.”

His garage? “I didn’t know you owned a place.”

He wraps his arm around me and trails his fingers over my bare shoulder. “Yeah, I bought a house in Kentucky a couple years ago with my first big chunk of money from the record company.”

I tilt my head and gaze up at him. “Why Kentucky?”

He shrugs. “Why not? No one really bothers me there. Who would expect that I’d live there? Plus, the rest of the guys in the band are from there, so I got a place near them. I like the space. It’s peaceful there, you know? Reminds me a lot of where we grew up.”

“It has a lake?”

He grins. “Yep, and the dock there puts our little one to shame.”

“I’d love to see it sometime.”

His eyes lock on mine. “One day soon. Maybe after you see it, you’ll want to stay.”

My breath catches. I’m stunned. Did Noel just ask me to move in with him? We’ve known each other our entire lives, but we just got back together. Am I ready for such a huge leap?

Noel runs his hand through his hair. “Every time I feel like we’re moving forward, you throw me off when you freeze up like this. Like you’re not quite sure enough about me to take things to the next level.”

I’m taken back. How could he possibly know I have even the slightest hint of reservation? “Noel...I...”

He leaves one arm around my shoulder and threads my fingers with his free hand. “It’s okay. I know I’m moving kind of fast, but I can’t seem to help myself. All I want to do is be with you. Now that I have you back, I can’t see my life without you. When I think about my future, I think about you.”

I want to be with Noel, but I don’t want to ruin this by rushing. We’ve only been reconnected for a couple days; there’s so much I don’t know about him anymore. Four years in the rock world pretty much equals ten in the real one. Everything is always on the move here. The most I can offer him is honesty. “I want to be with you too. I really do. But I think we need to take things slow. I mean, there’s no rush, right?”

Noel’s shoulders sag. “I guess not.”

He looks away, and I know I’ve hurt him. The familiar pain of heartbreak tears in my chest. I touch his cheek. “I’m not saying I’ll never move in, or that it’ll even take long. I’m just saying let’s see how the next couple of months go, and then we can talk about moving in together. For now, I’m here. And for now, I’m yours.”

He turns those powerful blue eyes on me and nods. “If that’s all you can give me for now, then I’ll take it.”

By the end of the week, I know I’ll probably feel the same way Noel does, but for now, we need to take it slow. I’m just glad he understands. Noel never was a very patient person. He’s always been an all-or-nothing type of guy. This compromising side of him is new, but I like it. It shows he’s grown. I kiss his lips just as we reach the arena. It’s another mammoth building, but nowhere near as big as the huge soccer stadium Black Falcon just filled back in Ohio. It’s my sixth day on the road with him, and I can see how a different city every night would get tiresome.

The car stops beside Big Bertha. Trip sits on a short concert retaining wall across from the bus and slaps his thighs with drum sticks—Tyke beside him, a hood over his head, fiddling with his phone. Noel helps me out of the car and grabs my hand. I smile and glance at him. His eyes watch me intently as he runs his thumb over the back of my hand. Something is on his mind. I can tell. Years of being friends with a man do have some benefits.

My smile fades. “Are you all right?”

He runs a hand through his hair and scrubs it over his face. “Yeah, just tired, I guess.”

I don’t buy his story, but I don’t want to rehash the same issue from the car ride over, if that’s what’s still on his mind. Hopefully, he really does understand and respect my need to take things slow. Most of the things I’ve done in a rush didn’t work out. Prime example: breaking up with him the first time.

We just need time.

Trip notices us and nods. “What’s up, love birds?”

Noel smirks at the black-haired drummer. “Did you guys hang out here all day?”

“Yeah, pretty much. This little town is boring as hell. They don’t even have a fucking Starbucks. Can you believe that shit?” Trip rolls his eyes at the city’s lameness. “The only thing to do is hang out on Bertha and play Xbox. Did you go over to the hotel?”

“Lane and I did.”

Trip grins. “Damn, dude. You’re a machine.”

The skin on my face burns. I know I’m beet red. Did everyone on the bus hear everything we did yesterday?

Trip laughs, and Noel shoves him. The force of the playful shove sends Trip against the shrubs behind him. That only causes him to laugh harder and his brother, Tyke, to join in.

Noel pulls me by the hand toward the bus. “Ignore them. The more they see it gets to you, the more they’ll keep at it.”

I want to die.

I’ve never been overly sexual or boisterous about my sex life, so to suddenly have everyone on the planet—okay, maybe not the planet, but definitely the band and most of the Black Flacon crew—know Noel and I have been at it like rabbits since yesterday bothers me. It’s totally embarrassing. Noel opens the bus door and leads me inside. It’s surprisingly clean, and it smells like a cleaner of some sort and air freshener. This is most certainly a different, yet welcomed, sight.

Noel notices my expression and grins. “Told you we’d get this cleaned up. We aren’t total animals, you know.”

The toilet flushes, and my eyes scan the hallway, curious as to who is back there. Riff steps out wearing yellow rubber gloves and holding a spray bottle. My eyebrows lift. Riff is the last person on earth I’d expected was the domestic type.

“You did all this?” I ask.

He shrugs. “I didn’t want you to have to live in our filth. Plus...” He pauses and glances to Noel, then back to me. “It’s kind of a peace offering for teasing you in front of Aubrey. No hard feelings. All right?”

I smile. “That’s very sweet of you. Consider it forgotten.”

He grins and nods while Noel stiffens next to me. Clearly, the little act of kindness didn’t win him over as easily. I don’t get why Noel is like this with Riff. I figured he’d chill out a little bit after I’d reassured him Riff isn’t my type. I mean, Riff is kind of with Aubrey now. That alone should relieve his fear.

A ringing cell phone cuts through the tense air. Noel reaches into his pocket and twists his lips. “I have to take this.” He answers the phone and tells the person on the other end to hold on a minute while he goes outside.

Riff pulls off the gloves and opens the cabinet beneath the sink. He tosses them in a blue tub along with the cleaner. “I’m going to find Trip. I’ll catch you later, Lanie.”

Riff pats my shoulder as he slides past me toward the door. I follow him out the door and spot Noel arguing on the phone. It looks heated and reminds me of the last time I caught him in a heated conversation over business. Riff stops in front of Noel, and they exchange a few words I can’t make out. Riff shakes his head and walks away. Noel’s eyes don’t leave him until he’s out of sight.

I have the feeling there’s way more to their tense relationship than either of them are telling me. I’m going to have to get to the bottom of this sooner rather than later if I’m going to make it on this bus for another week.

Chapter 17

––––––––

Noel really is amazing onstage. The way he belts out lyrics sets me in a trance—along with the other twenty thousand people in attendance tonight. I sway to the beat, and my head bobs in time to the music. It’s so easy to get lost in him.

I don’t notice the scantily clad woman in fishnet stockings and five-inch stiletto heels approach until she’s directly beside me. Like me, the woman’s eyes fixate on the guys performing. The blonde is pretty much in a black bathing suit covered by a black—what I assume is supposed to be—dress. Only it doesn’t cover anything. The dress is basically strings held together on each side of her body by a three-inch piece of black fabric. She’s brave, I’ll give her that.

I give her a polite smile when she catches me staring at her revealing outfit, and then I return my attention to the stage. I don’t know if I’ll be able to ever get used to all the women who hang around at shows.

When the song ends, Noel thanks his screaming fans before he glances in my direction. His smile fades, and my eyebrows scrunch together at his sudden change of mood. He’s scowling at me. It’s the same evil look I catch him giving Riff sometimes.

What’s his deal?

The woman beside me has an odd expression, too, but she doesn’t appear mad—quite the opposite. Some might call it a shit-eating grin, which in my book always equals to “up to no good.” The hairs on my arms stand as I wonder how Noel knows this trashy-looking chick. Things start to click. He’s been with this woman. Why else would he act like that? As if he’s scared that she’s next to me. Like she might say something.

My eyes scan the woman a little more closely. Her body is amazing, which is probably why she feels the need to show it off, but what else could he possibly see in her? For that matter, if he’s been with women who look like that, what is he doing with an average girl like me?

She turns toward me and smirks when she notices my stare. I’m tempted to smack it right off her face. “You can run off now.” She points her gaze back in Noel’s direction. He’s still staring at us. “I think we both know who’s getting Noel tonight.”

My blood boils, and my hands ball into fists. “What?”

She folds her arms over her chest. “Come on. Don’t play dumb. We both know I can do way more for him than, well”—she looks me up and down and laughs—“well, than you. I’m more his speed. You aren’t ready for the big leagues, Princess.”

All of my coherent thoughts leave me. I want her to stop talking. Doesn’t she think I already know I’m not worthy of Noel? What gives her the right to rub it in my face? I don’t know where she gets off. Noel wants me, not her. I know that. I do. But the need to help her shut her mouth rips through me. I stand there, fists clenched, praying she just walks away from me.

“Go on.” She uncrosses her arms and shoves my shoulder a little.

The second she lays her skanky hand on me, I snap. My fist whips up and makes contact with her face before I even realize what I’ve done. She stumbles back but manages to stay on her feet. Blood trickles from her right nostril, and she wipes it away.

Her eyes blaze with fury. “You bitch.”

The woman lunges for me and shoves my shoulders. The electrical cords behind me tangle my footing, and I fall back. When I hit the floor, she jumps on me. My hair ends up in her hand, and she yanks my head to the side before she smacks my face. The blow rattles my skull. I’ve never been hit, and I’m surprised by how much it stings. I’m desperate to get her off me. I buck my hips when she draws back to hit me again. Before she has the chance, she flies off me.

I scramble to sit up. After I’m up on my knees, I push forward after her before she has the chance to come back at me. Two large hands grab me under my arms and yank me to my feet. Adrenaline flows through my veins, and my eyes stay locked on the center of my anger. One of the crew members helps the blonde up, and I notice her “dress” is torn and hangs off her body. Her bikini top is also out of place, exposing one of her nipples.

She readjusts her clothes and scowls at me.

I didn’t even notice that the band had stopped playing until that moment, and every eye in the place, along with every camera, points in my direction.

“Lane! Answer me. Are you okay?” Noel asks. My eyes dart to his face—his brow knitted in confusion and concern. I didn’t even realize he’s holding me. “Are you hurt?”

I shake my head and gaze toward the crowd. Somehow, my little run-in with this chick ended up onstage in front of all these people. We must’ve rolled right on out here.

Trampy girl flips me off before she turns away, and a security guard escorts her off the stage.

The impatient crowd grows louder, and Riff picks up his guitar. “Noel, man, we need to wrap this show up. She’s fine.”

Noel’s mouth pulls into a tight line. He doesn’t want to leave me alone, but he knows the crowd will rip this place apart if they don’t get the show they paid for. He touches my cheek and I flinch. “Go to the bus and put some ice on that. We’ll talk as soon as the set is over.”

I don’t want to go. What I really want is answers about who that woman is and why she thinks she has claim over him. But now isn’t the time. I know that. Not with twenty thousand witnesses. Instead of making a scene, I nod, and Noel kisses my forehead.

“Ice. I mean it,” he says as he steps away.

A collective sigh echoes around the arena, and I want to puke. Can I deal with fighting women day in and day out over Noel? This isn’t me. I’m not the crazy girl willing to fight every woman who looks at her man. What’s wrong with me?

A couple security guards escort me off the stage and ask me if I’m all right.

“Sorry about that. Women. What can you do?” Noel says, and the crowd laughs. I know he doesn’t mean anything by it, but it stings a little. “Bet you guys didn’t know you’d get two shows today.”

The crowd laughs even harder, and then the drums kick up the beat. I want to die.

Back on the bus, I manage to find a baggie and stuff it with ice. It stings when it touches my cheek, but the numbness on my skin is welcome. I can’t even make it one day without making enemies. I plop down on the couch and close my eyes. This day can’t possibly get any worse.

There’s a knock on the outside door just as I get comfortable. That’s strange. I’ve never heard anyone knock on that door. Most of the guys come and go as they please on the bus, but the show is still going strong, so I know it can’t be anyone associated with the band. I don’t think I can handle any more crazed fans today.

I shove up from the couch and twist the door handle. On the other side stands a very well put together Diana Swagger. Her red hair sits in a low bun against her neck, and her pressed, tan suit flatters her curvy figure. I look down at my torn black tank and jean shorts and panic surges through me. I’m a freaking disaster. I can only imagine what my hair and face look like.

Diana removes her Gucci sunglasses. “What the hell happened to you?”

I pull the ice pack away from my face and switch it to my left hand. I rub the moisture off my right hand onto my shorts before I stick it out to greet her. “Hi, Ms. Swagger. Won’t you come in?”

Diana raises an eyebrow and doesn’t make a move to shake my hand. “You’re a complete disaster.” She scrunches her nose while she digs her phone from her purse. I drop my hand to my side. “Harold? Yes. Hi. I found her. She’s not...” She pauses and glances at me. “I’m not sure if this is going to work. You may need to come down here and get this account straightened out before we lose it completely.”

Oh no. She’s firing me already? My heart leaps into my throat. If I don’t work for her, I have no reason to stay on tour with Noel. “Please, wait. This isn’t normally me. I wasn’t expecting you this early. Please come in, give me a chance to explain. I’m begging you.”

Diana stares at me. “Harold. I’ll call you back.” She ends her call and shoves her phone in her purse. “Better be a damn good explanation.”

Relief floods me as she brushes onto Big Bertha and I close the door.

Diana looks around the bus. “You share this space with four men?”

I step around the counter and stand across from her. “It’s not so bad. Noel and I share the bedroom in the back. The rest of the guys sleep in the foxholes.”

Diana nods but doesn’t appear surprised. “So you and Noel are an item?”

I tilt my head. “Well, yes. But you already knew that, right? ”

“I had an idea.” She adjusts the purse straps on her shoulder. “That explains his motivation to get you here. Typically we don’t allow our employees to have personal relationships with our clients. This account with Black Falcon is rather large, and since Noel Falcon chose you personally, I have to let it slide. Just be warned, if Noel wants you gone, you’ll be terminated. That is not up for negotiation.”

I swallow hard. Lose my boyfriend and I lose my job. Those are some hefty stakes. “Understood.”

Diana sighs. “Good. Now that we’re the same page, let’s go over a few things, shall we?” She sets her purse on the counter and pulls out an iPad. After a few clicks, she sets it on the counter and turns it in my direction. “Here is your contract. H.R. apparently forgot to go over it with you, which is why I got so lucky to bring it to you myself. It’s standard, really. Basically, all it says is that you won’t sell, trade, or disclose any marketing campaigns we are working on for any of our clients. It also has a non-compete clause.”

“Non-compete?” I understood everything else.

“That means if you leave or become terminated, you can’t join a competing marketing firm within the state of New York for three years.”

I swallow hard. New York is the Mecca of advertising. Sure, there are firms in other states, but my dream is to work for a firm in New York. That’s where all the action is and where I live with Aubrey. But this job is my foot in the door. It’s my shot. I have to take it. Noel and I will be fine, right? “Where do I sign?”

Diana hands me a pen to sign the electronic document. Once I’m done, she turns the device toward her. “Let me just email this back to the main office, and we’ll get down to business.”

We chat for the next thirty minutes about how I’m expected to find out what the client—Noel—wants and how he wants his charity represented. Apparently, he told them he wanted me to have complete creative control over the campaign.

My stomach twists into a knot. This is a lot of responsibility for a first job. I was expecting to have help, but Diana makes it sound as though I’m on my own. If this falls apart, it will totally be my fault.

Diana checks her watch. “Any questions?”

Only a million, but none I can ask without making myself look even more foolish than I already do. “No, ma’am. I think you’ve made things quite clear.”

She stands and straps her purse over her right shoulder. “If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.” She hands me her business card, but I don’t think she’s sincere about me calling her. “My car is waiting. I have a flight in an hour or so.”

I raise my eyebrows. “They didn’t allow you much time, did they?”

Diana cocks her head to the side. “If it’d been any other client, you would’ve only received a phone call, not a personal visit. That’s how important this client is. Mr. Falcon’s happiness means a great deal to me. So make sure he stays that way.”

There it is again, the little jab that I only have my job because of Noel. Apparently my marketing degree from the University of Texas means nothing. I follow Diana out of the bus and watch her get into a black Town Car. She doesn’t even look back, which confirms her pure loathing of me. Great.

A shriek grabs my attention. A group of twenty or so females rush Noel as he makes his way toward the bus. He stops and takes a few quick pictures with the group, along with autographing a few things, before he glances at the bus. A shy wave is the best I can muster. Noel waves back while security holds back the screaming girls.

I step aside and allow Noel past me onto the bus once he breaks free from the crowd. "Hey," I say. My voice is so timid I barely recognize it myself.

To make matters worse, he doesn't say anything. This won’t be a good conversation. I climb up the steps. Noel grips the island countertop in Big Bertha's little kitchen—his full stature towering over it. He doesn’t face me, but I don’t need to see his face to tell he's angry with me.

"Noel, I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you or caused any trouble for you. That girl, she—"

"She what, Lane?" Noel snaps and spins around. "What could a fan possibly do to make you attack her at my show? I thought you were different. You're the mature one in this relationship, right?"

Tears brim in my eyes. "Noel, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen. The things she said made me snap. I know that's no excuse, but hearing another woman say she's going to sleep with you is just too much for me to handle. I acted before I thought."

Noel sighs and threads his fingers into his sweaty hair. "Jealousy? That's what set you off? Jesus, don't you know me at all? Why do you doubt my feelings for you? You always think you're second. No girl can ever compare to you."

I shake my head. "I never said that."

"You don't have to. Every time I have to a choice between you and something else, you always think you'll be second. Four years ago on the dock, you left me because you said I would always choose music over you. That we’d never have a good life because you’d always come second. You told me you were walking away because I wasn’t thinking about you and our future. Today just proves you still think that. That you aren’t my everything.”

My tears fall at his words. Is it always me who doesn’t love him enough, not the other way around like I’ve always believed? My shoulders shake as a sob escapes my throat. Oh, God. I’ve ruined this. This man that I have all these feelings for thinks I don’t care about him enough. He has no clue that I love him with every ounce of my soul. I want him to trust me.

Noel wraps his arms around me. “Shhhhhhh. Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. You just mean so much to me. The thought of you thinking you aren’t my number one drives me crazy. Only you, Lane. You’re all I’ll ever want.”

My fingers claw into his back as I cry harder and think the exact same thought.

Chapter 18

––––––––

I sit on our bed and watch Noel pack an overnight bag for his trip to Tucson. It’s only for one night, but I know that it’ll feel like an eternity.

Noel zips up his bag, and my heart sinks. It’s time for him to go. “You got everything you need?” I ask. I wish he’ll say he can’t go but then feel guilty that I want to stop him from seeing a sick fan.

He stares at me and licks his bottom lip. “Not everything.”

A blush creeps over me. “Noel...”

He grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet. Every nerve in my body zings as he holds me tight. The things this man can do to me with a simple touch...

Noel’s fingers trace the exposed skin on my lower back. “What do you say? One more time for the road?”

I giggle before his soft lips meet mine. “Your car is waiting, and you’ll miss your flight.”

The thick muscles in his shoulders bunch under my hands as he shrugs. “I’ll be really fast.”

My fingers thread into the hair on the nape of his neck and Noel grins, knowing he’s won this little battle. His hands knead my hips and urge them forward just as his lips attack mine. Fire burns in my core as I feel Noel’s arousal press against me. His tongue flicks against mine, and I hitch a leg around his hip. Large hands cup my butt and lift me off the ground. Instantly, I wrap both legs around him and grind against him, wishing there weren’t so many clothes between us. Noel spins and plops down on the bed with me on his lap. He pops the button on my jean shorts and unzips them, exposing my thong.

A growl escapes him as he reaches inside my shorts and spreads his long fingers on my bottom. Noel pushes me forward, urging me to ride him with our clothes still on, while his tongue traces a line from my jaw to my collar bone. His blue eyes smolder with desire as they meet mine. “I want you so fucking much.”

I lick my lips and yank his face to mine, and Noel chuckles. He doesn’t realize that when he says things like that, I nearly lose my freaking mind.

His hands slide up my ribs as he takes off my tank top. Goosebumps erupt all over my skin when his fingers tease the curve of my breast. The need for his skin on my most intimate skin is almost unbearable. I shove my bra straps down and reach behind me to unclasp it. Noel leans back, and his eyes burn as they take in my every move—each one deliberately slow. The hooks come free, and I slide off the straps and discard the bra on the floor.

He licks his lips. “You are so damn beautiful.”

Noel’s lips crush into me, and all I can think about is how much I want him. The thought of a night without him makes me savor the moment. Every inch of my world interweaves with this gorgeous man. It’s amazing how attached I’ve become in such a short time.

His fingers are magical as they trace the delicate skin under my waist band. I moan and squeeze him tighter in my arms and then run my fingers through the dark hair on the nape of his neck. A loud knock on the bedroom door startles me, and I lose my focus. I reluctantly pull away from Noel's lips, and my shoulders slump. Noel sighs, rests his forehead against mine, and lets out a string of soft curse words.

I giggle at Noel’s frustration and kiss his lips, knowing exactly how he feels.

The bedroom door flies open, and I gasp. Riff barges in, and his eyes land directly on my naked breasts. A shriek assaults my ears, and it takes me a second to realize it came from me as I attempt to cover up my shirtless chest.

Noel wraps his arms around me. "What the fuck, dude? I didn’t say come in."

"Sorry, bro. Didn't know you were"—Riff's eyes slide down my body and a slow grin spreads across his face—"busy."

Noel's eyes narrow at Riff. "Well, now you know. So get the fuck out."

Riff glances at my horrified face and then returns his attention to Noel. "Just thought you’d want to know your ride to the airport has been waiting for almost twenty-five minutes, but I can see you’re busy. I'll tell them to piss off."

A heavy sigh leaves Noel's mouth. "Thanks, man. Tell them I'll be out in a second."

Riff raises his eyebrows. "You sure? If I were you, I think I’d make them wait."

Noel’s fingers roll into fists. "Yeah. Now get the fuck out."

The door closes behind Riff after he shrugs and mumbles something like “your loss.”

The tension in Noel’s body lets up after Riff leaves. “I don’t like how he looks at you.”

I know exactly what he’s talking about. Riff’s gaze always stays on me a few seconds too long, but I don’t want to feed Noel’s overactive imagination before he leaves. “He doesn’t mean anything by it. Besides, he and Aubrey have sort of a thing.” I kiss Noel’s neck. “My eyes and body are only for you.”

He peers up at me through his long, sexy eyelashes. “Promise?”

I nod and place my lips on his.

“God, I wish you could come with me. I don’t want to leave you.”

“It’s only for a night. How much trouble can I possibly get into?”

Noel wrinkles his nose. “With this bunch? A lot. Don’t let them corrupt you while I’m gone, and don’t listen to a damn word they say.”

I laugh and kiss the tip of his scrunched nose. “You’re adorable when you worry.”

A smile creeps across his lips. “You think I’m adorable?”

“Quit fishing for compliments. You know the entire world thinks that about you.”

“Fuck the entire world. All that matters is what you think of me.”

I study his face. Does he really need validation from me? He’s Noel Falcon, for crying out loud. He shouldn’t need me to validate anything, but looking into his soulful eyes, I see that he does. The look on his face tells me my opinion means everything to him. The tips of my fingers trace his light stubble. “Of course I think you’re adorable. You’re irresistible and great in bed.”

A sideways grin lights up his face before he threads his fingers into my hair. “That ride is going to have to wait after all.”

I giggle as he flips me around and tosses me on his bed.

The bed is cold and lonely with Noel gone. The bus hums down the road at an even pace. The bumps in the road sound almost rhythmic as the tires roll along. I toss back and forth. It’s pointless to try to sleep. The guys are playing music toward the front of the bus, and their laughter is inviting. Four in the morning, and they’re still full of energy. I sit up and shove off the bed. Light from the hallway streams into my eyes when I open the door. I squint to shield them.

“Hey, if it isn’t sleeping beauty,” Trip teases. “Lonely back there in the love shack?”

Heat creeps up my neck. These guys are never going to let me live down the fact that they can hear Noel and I make love. I squeeze onto the small loveseat beside Riff and try to avoid their stares. They hover around the small television while Trip and Tyke battle in some shoot ‘em up game.

“Lanie, since he isn’t here, you have to tell us what Noel was like when you guys dated before,” Trip says.

“Yeah,” Tyke agrees, adjusting the bandanna on his forehead. “We need dirt—the good stuff. Did he get the crap kicked out of him in school? We need ammo to torment him.”

He always led a pretty drama-free life. “Sorry, guys. There’s isn’t much to tell. Noel’s pretty straight-laced. He doesn’t have many secrets.”

“That you know of,” Riff chimes in.

My head snaps toward him. “What’s that supposed to mean? You keep alluding to some big thing Noel is keeping from me.”

Riff shrugs. “It means just that.”

“Noel doesn’t keep things from me. He doesn’t like secrets between us.”

“Well maybe you should—”

“Dude!” Trip cuts off Riff. “Now is not the time, man.”

“You don’t think she should know? I guarantee you he hasn’t told her. Look at her face.” Riff points at me. “She has no fucking clue what I’m talking about. I’m just trying to look out for her. She’s a nice girl, and I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

Trip rubs his forehead. “I know, I know. But it’s not our place to tell her.”

I wave. “Guys, I’m right here. Tell me what the fuck is going on.”

Riff sets his eyes on me. There’s a strange look on his face; it almost looks like pity. “Lanie...Noel has a girlfriend.”

I furrow my brow. “What? No way! You guys are messing with me.”

Tyke frowns, and Riff shakes his head.

“I—I don’t believe you. He wouldn’t... No.”

Riff bites his lip, toying with the hoop through the bottom one. “It’s true. I’m sorry.”

I clutch my chest. There’s no air. I can’t breathe. I gasp, but it doesn’t relieve the crushing weight in my lungs. A girlfriend? What the fuck? Did I hear that right? Honesty? Truthfulness? All lies. Everything out of Noel’s mouth has been a lie. Having me here is all about sex. How could I be so naive to believe he wanted anything else? He didn’t give up until he got exactly what he wanted from me. My stomach rolls, and my fingertips sting from clutching the couch cushion.

Things blink in black and white as my vision blurs. I feel lightheaded, and a chill runs down my spine. I hear mumbles of voices, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. All I know is I’m losing it.

Tyke’s on his knees in front of me, both hands on my shoulders. “Breathe, Lanie. You’re white as snow.”

I gulp air into my lungs and focus on my breathing—in and out.

I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.

How could he keep this from me? Why would he do this to me? I know I broke his heart once, but we were in high school. He knows I’m sorry, that it was a stupid mistake. Do I really warrant such severe hurt? Noel really is the womanizer the tabloids portray. The night we reconnected, I found him in a room with two half-naked blondes. The thought of Noel breaking this poor girl’s heart by sleeping with everything he sees makes me sick. There’s no telling how many others there have been before me. “How long?”

“How long what?” Tyke asks.

“The girl. Has he been with her long?” Tyke looks to Trip then Riff for an answer, which I find odd. It’s almost as if he needs permission to answer.

Riff rolls his lips into a line, and I catch a glimpse of what almost looks like pain in his eyes. “Not long—only a few months.”

“This whole time—why would he do this?”

“Because Noel Falcon is a selfish prick,” Riff says. “He doesn’t give a shit about anybody but himself.”

I scrub my fingers down my face. My entire world is crumbling. “Oh, God. I can’t believe this.”

Riff touches my shoulder gingerly. “I’m sorry, Lanie. He’s a shit.”

Tears sting my eyes, and I pinch them shut. What am I going to do? My heart is crushed as the weight of the situation bears down on me. Everything in my life centers on Noel and his band. Diana Swagger made it quite clear that I won’t keep this job if Noel and I split. Was that his plan? Crush me like I crushed him? A wave of uncertainty ripples through me. How could I let this happen? Tears build up in my eyes, and I don’t want these guys to see me cry. I already look like a sad, pathetic, stupid fool. I don’t want to add crybaby to the list. My legs wobble as I push up from the chair. The urge to run as far away as I can hits hard.

“Lanie? Are you all right?” Tyke asks.

“I’m fine,” I lie as I start toward the bedroom door. Knowing I’ve been betrayed hurts, but it feels worse to feel so naïve. I didn’t see this coming. I trusted him.

I slam the bedroom door a little harder than I mean to. Tears fall uncontrollably once I’m alone, and I allow a sob to escape me. This bedroom, once a place of happiness between Noel and I, now feels like a torture chamber.

Did he sleep with her on this bed—on these sheets? How many other women for that matter? The thought disgusts me. Before I can stop myself, I hurl myself at the bed, ripping and tearing at the sheets, while I cry. In less than thirty seconds, I’ve stripped the mattress. The sheets lay in a heap in the corner of the small room.

I plop down hard on the bed and bury my face in my hands. What am I going to do? If I leave, Noel’s won. I can’t let that happen. I need this job, and whether I like it or not, he’s the key to keeping it. The need to hate him tears at me, and I want to hurt him. Hurt him like he’s hurt me.

I stare at the sheets for long minute, then decide the best way to get to him is by staying. I’ll stay here and let him see how much I hate him, show him he can’t sabotage this job.

I debate on setting the pile in the corner on fire. Instead, I grab the sheets and remake the bed. This is probably a stupid idea, but it’s all I got. Noel will probably tell me to get the fuck out once he comes back and finds out that he’s been caught, but I don’t care. I’ll ignore him. The silent treatment is usually reserved for elementary school children, but I think this case calls for it.

A soft knock on the door startles me, and before I can say come in, it pushes open. Riff stands there in a wife-beater T-shirt that displays his tattoos. His Mohawk reaches up in perfect alternating colors. My shoulders sag as I pat the spot beside me on the bed.

He gives me a sad smile and then obliges. “You okay?” I shake my head but tell him yes. “That’s not very convincing.”

I sigh and feel the sting from crying in my throat. “I know, but what choice do I have?”

Riff tilts his head. “You have all the power here. Noel screwed you over just like he did to me. That’s just who he is. But you have the power to do what’s best for you and get the hell away from him. I would if I could, but I’m kind of stuck here.”

I snort. “I know the feeling.”

“Ah, yes, the job—I almost forgot about that. Well, I guess you and I are both screwed.”

I turn toward him. “You mean you’d leave the band if you could?”

Riff nods while keeping his brown eyes set on me as though he’s waiting for me to put together the pieces of a puzzle. “In a heartbeat. I can hardly look at the guy without wanting to kick his ass. But this band is my life. It’s all I’ve ever known. I can’t just walk away, no matter how much I want to.”

“I’ve noticed there’s some tension between you two.”

Riff laughs, but it has a bitter edge. “Yeah, well, when your best friend fucks your woman, you’ll have that.”

My eyes widen. “Noel...”

“Yes,” he answers my unspoken question. “His girlfriend is my ex, Sophie.”

That’s when I bolt to the bathroom before my guts spill all over the bedroom floor.

Chapter 19

––––––––

Noel’s flight lands at the Charlotte airport any minute. He’ll be here soon, and I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m going to say to him. As much as I love the idea of using the silent treatment, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from lashing out at him. He needs to know I think he’s a selfish bastard and I hate his guts.

The mouse on my laptop keeps sticking as I research into charities like Black Falcon’s. I have to keep my mind busy. If I allow it, my brain will drive me insane replaying thoughts of Noel and all the other women he’s been with. I didn’t insist he use a condom when we were together because I—stupid me—trusted him. The thought of all the diseases I might now have makes me want to literally murder him.

I readjust in the bed and open a new search page. Mystery Girlfriend has my mind curious. I tossed and turned all night wondering who she is and what she looks like. I open a new search box and carefully type “Noel Falcon’s girlfriend, Sophie” into the box before hitting send. It only takes a couple seconds for the results to pop up, but out of all the links, I don’t see anything about Noel Falcon and a girlfriend.

I tap my chin, and then it occurs to me I can still probably find this girl. I just need a different route. This time I type in “Riff from Black Falcon’s girlfriend, Sophie.”

Bingo.

This time, pages and pages of pictures of Riff and a blonde named Sophie flood my screen. I click on a full-length picture of her. As much as I hate to admit it, she’s beautiful. Long, blond hair cascades down her back. Her legs are incredibly long, and she has a perfect smile. I stare at my modest chest and then back at Sophie’s.

We are exact opposites in every way.

Another thought occurs to me. I’m the other woman. Noel cheated on this gorgeous woman with me. That thought alone keeps me from hating her completely. It’s not her fault Noel is a terrible person, but that doesn’t erase the fact she came between two best friends. She’s still a fucking slut.

“What are you doing?”

My heart bangs against my ribs. Shit! He isn’t supposed to be back yet.

I roll to my side and sit up after I slam my laptop shut. He stands there in his red T-shirt and distressed jeans looking as though he hasn’t slept much. His crazy rocker hair stands in place, with a pair of black sunglasses on his head, with both hands planted on his hips.

How dare he question my actions. “That should be my line.”

Noel flinches. The look on his face gives him away. He knows I know. He steps inside the room and shuts the door. “Lane, you can’t believe the shit you read.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Who should I believe then? You?”

He takes two quick steps and sits next to me. He tries to wrap his arm around my waist, but I shove it off me. “Baby? Please. Let me explain.”

I shake my head. “No. No more lies.”

“I never lied to you.”

“You’re lying to me right now!” I shout. My entire body shakes. So much for being cool and blowing him off. “Were you ever going to tell me about Sophie? Or are your plans to revenge fuck me not complete yet?”

Noel grabs my chin between his thumb and index finger and forces me to look at him. “You’re not just some piece of ass to me. How can you even think that?” My eyes water, and I blink out a tear. It rolls down my cheek, and Noel wipes it away with his thumb. Then he cradles my face. “I love you.”

A sob I can no longer hold back escapes. “How can you love me when you have a girlfriend?”

His lips pull into a tight line. “It’s complicated, but it’s not what you think.”

“Then tell me. Tell me why you would say things to me that make me believe I’m your world and not tell me you have someone else.”

He sighs and rests his forehead against mine. “Because I can’t leave her and I can’t lose you.”

I pull away from him and a cold chill runs through me. “Then why drag me into all this? Why not let me work on the campaign from New York? You forced me to come here because you knew I still had feelings for you. You knew this would happen. You had no intentions of leaving your girlfriend, and yet you did it anyway. Riff is right. You are a selfish bastard.”

“Riff? He’s how you found out? I’m going to fucking kill him!” He bounces off the bed.

“Noel!” I reach for him, but he flings open the door and storms down the hallway to Riff’s foxhole before I have the chance to get out of bed.

Noel throws open the curtain and lunges inside. “You fucking told her?”

“You can’t have them both,” Riff yells back. “I won’t let you do that to Sophie.”

I jump off the bed. “Noel, stop!”

In a split second, Noel loses it. He yanks Riff from the bunk and throws him on the hallway floor. Riff starts to stand, but before he gets the chance, Noel’s on him, connecting a hard punch in his face. Riff grunts and grabs Noel into a tight headlock. Noel flings his arms wildly, his fists cracking against Riff’s ribs.

“Stop it!” I yell while standing back. These guys both have a good foot and at least sixty or so pounds on me. There’s no way I can break them up without getting hurt.

Trip and Tyke’s curtains fly back, and they jump out of their bunks. The twins get between the two fighting men and pull them apart. Riff and Noel are still red-faced, determined to get at each other.

“I can’t believe you fucking told her!” Noel shouts while still in Trip’s firm hold. “You need to mind your own damn business.”

Riff laughs harshly. “Me mind my own business? You make it pretty hard to do when you’re fucking my girlfriend behind my back!”

Noel’s mouth drops open. “She came to me. I didn’t go after her.”

“And that makes it fucking okay? Jesus, you were my best friend—my brother—and you screwed me over. I’m not going to let you do that to Lanie.”

“I was going to tell her!” Noel shouts with his arms spread.

“When? When were you going to tell her? After Sophie has the baby?”

I fall back against the wall. A baby? Did I just hear that right? Sophie’s pregnant? With Noel’s baby?

Noel’s body stills, and his eyes snap to mine. That’s why he can’t leave her. He fucking knocked her up. I shake my head. No. No fucking way this is happening to me. I am not this person. I don’t get caught up in drama like this.

“Lane?” I hear Noel say my name as I continue to shake my head and back away from him. “Lane, wait!”

I turn and run back to the bedroom to grab my suitcase. I can’t stay. I can’t stomach looking at him a second longer. The drawer flies open, and I grab a handful of my clothes and throw them in the bag. It’s a mangled mess, but a few wrinkles are the least of my problems. The laptop goes in last, and I zip up the suitcase. I freeze when I hear his voice.

“Where are you going?”

Is he a complete idiot? Did he actually think I’d stay once I found out about Sophie? I shake my head and step around him into the bathroom to grab my makeup bag. Being on the road with Noel isn’t anything like I planned.

Noel grabs my arm as I pass back by him. “Aren’t you going to talk to me?”

I yank from his grasp and head for the bed. “I have nothing to say to you.”

He slams the door shut. “Well, I have something to say to you.”

I roll my eyes. Anything that comes out of his mouth will be a lie, and I don’t have time to listen to his bullshit. I grab my suitcase. “Get out of my way, Noel.”

“No. Damn it, you’re going to listen to me even if I have to tie you to that fucking bed.”

I narrow my eyes. “Wanna bet? Move.”

“God damn it! Would you fucking stop and listen to me for two seconds?” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I fucked up, all right? I know that. Sophie and I aren’t what you think. She means nothing to me.”

I gasp. “You’re worse than I thought if you’d talk about the mother of your child like that. You really are an asshole...like your father.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “I am nothing like that bastard.”

“Oh no? I recall him turning his back on his child, too.”

His jaw tightens, and the muscle work beneath his skin. “What the hell do you know about being there for someone?”

That hurts. He’s calling me out for leaving him four years ago, and it couldn’t come at a worse time. Doesn’t matter. Before I dumped his sorry ass, I was always there for him. “A hell of a lot more than you do, apparently.”

“That’s fucking bullshit. You turned your back on me. You always do. When you think I put something ahead of you, you bail. You did it that night on the dock, and you’re doing it again now.”

I shake my head. “That’s not why I left you. I left you because you were a selfish bastard who cared more about himself than the person who loves you the most.” The suitcase hits the floor with a loud thud when I yank it off the bed. I roll it toward the door.

Noel steps in my path and grabs my shoulders. “Please.” His voice is so low it’s a near whisper. “Please stay with me.”

I close my eyes. I can’t look at him. Even though what he’s done to me is completely shitty, I don’t want to see him this way. Hurting him is the last thing I want to do, but I can’t stay. Not after all this. “Let me go.”

“No,” he says. “I’m going to fight for you. I need you to know you’re my everything. I can’t lose you again. I just want you to give me a chance to prove myself to you.”

His words sting. I wish they were true. If they were, he would’ve ended things with Sophie the minute we reconnected and told me everything. Instead, he hid everything from me. “How can I trust you?” I open my eyes and touch his cheek. “I’m sorry.” I step out of his hold and roll my suitcase out the door.

Chapter 20

––––––––

This isn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had. I roll my suitcase through the parking lot and try to stay out of the way of all the road crews as they push and pull amps and speakers toward the arena. I’m not even sure what city we’re in, let alone how to find a place to hide from Noel.

I hear my name spoken by an unfamiliar voice, and I turn. It’s the bodyguard that’s always herding Noel’s fans away. Noel probably sent him to find me. Great.

“Oh, hey, Mike,” I reply as coolly as I can. I hope he doesn’t notice the heavy-ass bag I’m toting around.

His eyes drop on my hot-pink luggage. “You going somewhere?”

I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Um, yeah, actually. I need to find a hotel, but I’m not sure how to get out of this place or even what city we’re in. I’ll Google a cab company.”

He frowns at me. “I can take you if you want.”

If he wasn’t so big, I’d wrap my arms around him and thank him profusely for saving my life. “That would be awesome.”

He smiles and, for a second, he loses that intimidating vibe and turns cuddly. “Come on, the Escalade is parked on the other side of the buses.”

Mike takes the handle of my suitcase and starts walking. I don’t argue. With his muscles pulling that thing, we’ll get out of here twice as fast. When the SUV comes in sight, he hits a button on the key and the trunk opens. Mike shoves my bag inside, and we both jump in the cab.

“What hotel do you want to go to?” he asks.

I shrug. “It doesn’t matter—the cheaper the better.”

He nods and backs out of the parking space. “The tour manager booked us all rooms at a local hotel. You’re more than welcome to have my room.”

“Oh, no, Mike. I can’t do that. You need your room.”

He laughs and shakes his buzz-cut head. “You’re welcome to it. I’ll bunk with one of the other guys. It’s no big deal.”

As bad as I feel for taking his room, I agree. Being broke majorly sucks in emergencies like this. What little money I have left will be spent buying a plane ticket to New York, where I belong. My heart sinks. I don’t belong there anymore either. Not only is my job at Center Stage Marketing flushed to hell, but that non-compete contract makes it impossible for me to get another marketing job in the city.

I’m royally screwed.

Mike pulls the Escalade under the awning of the Hilton and opens my door after he grabs my bag. “Come on. I’ll check you in.”

I smile. He’s unbelievably nice. How can he work for a douche bag like Noel? Mike walks up to the check-in desk, and the blonde clerk blushes as she speaks with him. I can see why girls like him. He looks as if he can lift a girl with one hand and has amazingly cute dimples. He grins while the attractive blonde writes what appears to be her number and slides the paper across the counter to him. He folds it and tucks it, along with his I.D., back into his wallet.

Mike waves to the girl and turns to me with the hotel key card. “Room 211. Do you need me to help you with your bag?”

I shake my head and pat his arm. “Thank you but no. You’ve done so much to help me already.” The handle on my bag clicks as I pull it up.

Mike tilts his head and pulls his mouth into a tight line. “You know, he’s different with you. I’ve worked for him a long time, and he’s mentioned you several times, but I didn’t know how much he actually loves you until he saw you again that first night in Houston.”

I bite my lip. What he said is nice to hear, but it doesn’t change the facts. “He’s having a baby, and he neglected to tell me about it.”

He frowns. “He has his reasons. All I’m saying is give him a chance to explain. Maybe it’s not what you think.” Before I can say anything else, Mike heads for the exit. Noel’s lucky to have him. That guy seems to really care about him.

It takes me two tries to get the room unlocked and get inside. Stupid technology. The room isn’t anything special—a typical king-sized bed-type room. I set my bag on the floor and flop back onto the bed. What the fuck am I going to do? I scrub my hand down my face. This is one big clusterfuck.

My job is screwed.

My love life is shit.

I sigh, dig my cell phone out of my pocket, and search Aubrey’s number.

“What’s up, lucky girl? How’s that fine man of yours?” she says.

I close my eyes. “Not good.” They’re the only words I get out before I start bawling. I let it all go: the emotion and hurt I refused to let myself feel in front of Noel, the anger somehow put on the backburner. I allow my heart to break with my best friend.

“Aw, baby cakes, tell me what happened?”

It kills me to admit to her what an awful person Noel is. “He’s such an asshole.”

She lets out a heavy breath. “Did he hurt you? I’ll kill him if he laid a finger on you.”

I roll my eyes. “Nothing like that. He’s just...” I take a deep breath. “Noel has a girlfriend.”

“What!?” I rip the phone away from my ear after her shrill screech. “What do you mean ‘he has a girlfriend’?”

A tear rolls down my cheek, and I wipe it away with my palm. It’s hard to say that out loud. “I guess he has for a while, but that’s not the worst part.”

“What can be any worse than that?”

“She’s pregnant.”

Aubrey gasps. “Like, with a baby?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes. She says it’s Noel’s.”

“Oh, my God. Screw the job. Run away as fast as you can from that freak show. Come home.”

I can’t bring myself to tell her that Sophie is Riff’s ex. That will only make her feel weird, and the situation is fucked up enough as it is. I sigh and think about catching the next flight to New York so I can wallow in my apartment. Being anywhere around Noel Falcon is the last thing I want, which is why I’m here. I need to get some space and figure out my next move.

A knock on the door startles me. Damn, I should’ve put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. “Just a minute,” I say.

“Who is that?” Aubrey questions.

I shove up from the bed and start toward the door. “It’s probably just housekeeping.” I pull open the door, expecting to find maid service, and my heart clenches. “What are you doing here?”

Noel shrugs with his hands deep in his pockets. The neck of his red shirt hangs loose from his fight with Riff and his dark hair is still wild. His face is red and the sparkle in his blue eyes is gone, replaced by dullness. He looks awful. “Can I come in?”

A sane person would slam the door in his face after telling him to take a flying leap. As much as I want to do that, I can’t bring myself to after looking at his face. He looks broken. Maybe he actually cares that I left? I open pull the door and he squeezes past me. I lean my forehead against the door and take a deep breath. “Aubrey, I’ll have to call you back.”

“Is it him?”

I nod. “Yes.”

She takes a breath. “Tell him to fuck off. You don’t need to put up with his shit.”

After I tell her okay and she’s satisfied I’m about to throw him out on his ass, I end my call. He’s waiting in silence—waiting on me to make a move. Since I’ve already let him in, I have no choice but to face him, to hear him out. I turn around and lean against the door, but I can’t look at him. The worn carpet marks a path from the bed to the door. I wonder how many happy couples spent romantic weekends in this room and if any ever went through anything like this situation—betrayal by a lover.

Noel steps toward me and grabs my hand. I try to jerk away, but he refuses to let go. “I know you hate me and never want to see me again, but I can’t let that happen. You mean everything to me. I don’t love Sophie. I never have. I love you, more now than ever. I can’t lose you.”

My chest clenches tight at the sound of her name on his lips. A tear falls from my eye. “Why did you sleep with her? How could you betray Riff like that? More importantly, how could you keep this from me? We are not supposed to have secrets.”

He sighs and brings my knuckles to his lips. “I don’t even remember her getting into my bed, to tell you the truth. I’m not always on my best behavior and, honestly, a few months ago, I was too wasted most of the time to remember much of anything. One morning I woke up and there she was—completely fucking naked. I knew Riff would go through the fucking roof when Sophie told him what happened, so I bought her a plane ticket home.”

“You sent her home?”

He nods. “I wanted the problem gone. I felt like shit. I couldn’t believe that, even in a fucked up state, I could let that happen. Riff’s the only family I have. I would never dick him over, or so I thought. That’s why I sent her away—to fix things.”

“You don’t remember sleeping with Sophie at all?”

Noel frowns. “Nothing. That’s what kills me. I watched Riff call her a million times after he figured out she’d split. I knew at some point I would have to ‘fess up to my shit. To be honest, I prayed Sophie would never tell him, but I knew she would. It’s just the kind of person she is.” He takes a ragged breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “She told him we’d slept together, and she could never go back with him after that.”

I shake my head. Poor Riff.

“Riff hated me for taking her away from him. We’ve fought so many goddamn times over her, I’ve lost count. I try to explain that I don’t love her, but he won’t listen. That only makes things worse. He’ll never forgive me.”

“Have you seen her since she left?”

He shakes his head. “No, and I never planned to either. Not until a month ago when she called Riff to tell him she’s pregnant with my baby. I have a hard time wrapping my head around it, you know. Even wasted, I always use a condom. I don’t know how this happened.”

I look into his eyes. “You didn’t use a condom with me.”

Noel’s gaze flicks to mine. “That’s because you’re you. I love you. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved, and I had to fucking have you. I had to be near you—feel you completely. I’ve missed you so much.”

I blink out a couple more tears. “If you haven’t seen her, why do people call her your girlfriend?”

He sighs and pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger again. “I called Sophie after I found out she was pregnant. She told me she’s almost positive it’s mine, and I felt sick. I always thought I would start a family with the love of my life. Someone just like you.” My stomach knots, and my legs feel week. I grip the door handle for support. “The thought of a little kid running around who belongs to me made me want to step up to the plate. I don’t want the kid to hate me. If Sophie’s baby is mine, I want to be there for it.”

Noel will make a great father, and I guess I didn’t give him enough credit. He’s not as immature as I thought. I shake my head. “That still doesn’t explain the whole girlfriend thing.”

He shrugs. “Sophie said the only way she’ll let me be a part of the whole process is if she can claim we’re together—something about not wanting to look like a slut.”

“But you’re not even sure the baby belongs to you.”

“I know, but if it is, I want to be a better father than mine is. I want to be in its life. I won’t turn my back on it. If Sophie wants to call herself my girlfriend, that’s fine, but I don’t have to love her and it doesn’t have to be true.”

“Do you know how absurd that sounds?”

Noel nods and sets his gaze on me. “I would’ve never agreed to it if I knew that we were going to happen. You have to believe me.”

Mistakes can happen. I know that. Noel isn’t a virginal type of guy. Hell, the whole world knows he has a massive sexual history, but the world doesn’t get to see this sweet side of him—the side that will do anything for anyone. My Noel.

I ask, “Can’t you just wait and get paternity tests once the baby’s born then take her to court? I’m pretty sure you can afford an attorney.”

“I could do that, but then I’d miss all the ultrasounds and the birth. I want to be a part of everything if that’s my kid.”

“If the baby isn’t yours, then that means it’s—”

He rubs his face. “Not Riff’s. He can’t have kids. He got into some kind of accident when he was younger or something.”

“But it’s possible, right? She was with him before you.” The thought of Riff and Noel sharing the same girl makes me shudder.

“I don’t think so.”

“How does Riff feel about all this?”

Noel shrugs. “He won’t talk to me about it. He feels betrayed and won’t speak to me. Whenever I try to talk to him about it, things get...ugly, and that’s not good for the band.”

He’s right. This whole situation sucks, especially for the band. I’ve seen the tension between the two. I knew all that male territory-marking was about more than just me. Noel drops my hand and runs his fingers through his hair. His hands stay behind his head while he paces near the foot of the bed. I’ve never seen him like this—torn between wanting me and needing to take responsibility for a fucked-up mess.

I can’t watch him fall apart. It’s not him. “Would you stop? You’re making me nervous.”

He stops pacing and sighs before sitting on the edge of the bed. Both of his shoulders slump, and his blue jeans strain against the length of his long, muscular legs. My eyes roam over his body. His chest heaves under his red T-shirt as he rests his elbows on his knees and stares at the floor.

I can’t help but think this is one of the last times I’ll be locked alone in a room with Noel Falcon. This feels like our good-bye. The accusation of always leaving because I’m second to him plays out yet again. There’s no way I can stay with him while he’s caught up in all this baby-mama drama. A few quick steps, and I find myself next to him. My body seems to have a mind of its own when it comes to Noel. The pull to him is crazy. I sit next to him. Our hips and legs touch, and I lift my hand to rub his back. As much as I wish this wasn’t happening, he’s still one of my oldest friends, and he’s hurting. He sighs and grabs my other hand, bringing my wrist to his lips and kissing the delicate skin over my pulse point. Need zings through me, and I squeeze my thighs tightly.

“Thank you,” he whispers against my skin. “Thank you for staying with me.”

My lips turn down. He doesn’t know this is my good-bye. “Noel...”

He brushes my lips with his fingertips. “Shhhhhh. Let’s not talk about this anymore. I just need to hear you say you love me. That this isn’t going to ruin us.”

I bite my bottom lip. Even though I’m unbelievably pissed, I can’t deny the feelings in my heart. I do love him, more than anything, but I can’t do this. I can’t be the other woman. Noel’s eyes plead with me to tell him I love him and that I still need him. I pull his fingers away from my lips and then cup his face. He turns his head and kisses my palm. One last kiss is all I can give him. I can’t tell him that I love him, even though I do, because it will only lead him on.

I commit to memory every line and curve of his face. Never again will I hold him like this. I lean in and press my lips to his, and he shuts his eyes. He tenses and tentatively moves his lips with mine. A single tear rolls down his cheek. He feels it too. He knows me well enough to know this is it for us. Noel wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. Panic surges through me. If he starts touching me, it’ll be over. It doesn’t take much from him to turn me on, and I can’t let my body overrule my head.

I break our kiss and lean my forehead against his. “Noel...I can’t.”

He opens his eyes. “Can’t or won’t?”

I shrug and drop my hands into my lap. “Does it really matter?”

“It matters to me. We can work this out. I just need some time to—”

I shake my head. “No, Noel. I can’t be that girl. I can’t be second in your life. You’ve always known that about me. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

He lays his hand on my thigh, and my whole body tingles. “Would you’ve come here—been with me—if you’d have known? I wanted you here with me, and when I saw my shot to make that happen, I took it.”

I cross my legs in an attempt to create more space between us, but my body instinctively turns into him. “But you lied to me. I can’t forgive that.”

A harsh breath escapes his lips. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I move his hand off my thigh. “I believe you, but that doesn’t change the situation. I understand you feel like you need to be with Sophie. I do. But I can’t be a part of your life during all this.”

Noel tilts his head. “What are you saying?”

I take a deep breath. “I need you to leave.”

“Lane?”

I shake my head and close my eyes. “Please leave.”

“No. Don’t say that. Don’t shut me out.”

He’s not going to go willingly, and if I don’t end this now, I might let him con me into staying, being second in his life. I gaze into his eyes and try to look as hard as possible. “I’m done with you.”

He grabs my hand, and I jerk away. “No.”

I shove off the bed. “Get the fuck out.”

Noel steps in front of me. He leans into me, and I step back, bumping against the wall. “You want me to go?”

“Yes.”

He searches my face while his warm breath hits my lips. His hands go on either side of me, effectively pinning me against the wall. Our thighs touch as he pushes against me. I swallow hard and try not to think about how close his body is. His nose traces my chin. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Noel kisses my chin, and I close my eyes. My head tips back. His lips feel amazing, and my chest actually heaves. “You can really give this up? Won’t you miss how I make you feel?”

Of course I’ll miss this. The entire time we were apart I missed him. This time won’t be an exception, but for my own sanity, I have to end this. I can’t allow my feelings to be toyed with. Knowing I’ve fallen for him again so quickly scares me. If I allow this thing between us to continue and he eventually leaves me for Sophie, I’ll be crushed. I’m just trying to think ahead.

A tear rolls down my cheek, and I turn my head away from him. “Please stop hurting me.” The words come out as a whisper, but I know he hears them.

He flinches, drops his arms—freeing me from his muscular prison—and steps back. He runs his hand roughly through his hair. “I’m sorry, Lane.” Before another word can be said, he turns and heads out the door. I jump when the door slams behind him.

Chapter 21

––––––––

The cheapest flight to New York leaves tonight at nine o’clock. It sucks I have to pack up and leave this room Mike so graciously gave me. Checkout is at noon, and hanging out in the airport for eight hours will suck so much.

I throw my pajamas in my bag and zip it. I walk toward the door as a knock startles me. I open the door without looking through the peephole and stop in my tracks. “Mike? What’s up?”

He shoves his sunglasses on top of his head. “Oh, good. You’re ready.”

I tilt my head. “Ready?”

“Yeah, I’m here to take you back to the bus.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry you wasted your time coming over here, but I’m not going back.”

Mike frowns, and his eyes look sad. “Noel knew you would say that. Here.” He hands me a paper.

I take it. “What’s this?”

“Your contract.”

My brow furrows as I read through the legal document baring my signature and Noel’s. “I don’t understand.”

Mike shrugs. “It basically says if you don’t follow through with this charity project, Black Falcon can sue you.”

“Me?” I nearly shriek. “He wouldn’t—”

“I think you underestimate how far Noel will go to get his way.”

That selfish son of a bitch. Sue me? Is he seriously stooping to this level? I’m going to kill him. I rub my face as my pulse races. “Where is he? The bus?”

Mike nods and grabs my suitcase. “Come on, I have the Escalade parked out front.”

After we get settled into the SUV and get on the road, I notice Mike glance at me every couple of seconds. His concern is sweet and I appreciate it, but I’m too pissed to speak without yelling. I map out in my mind exactly what I’m going to say to Noel. Every vulgar curse word I know pops into my head at least once. I can’t believe he has the nerve to pull this shit.

Mike parks near Big Bertha and shuts off the engine. “Take it easy on the guy. He’s desperate to keep you around.”

I pick at my nail to keep from looking at Mike. He works for Black Falcon, so of course he’s going to take Noel’s side. “Thanks for the ride. I hope this won’t take too long. There’s a flight back to New York tonight with my name on it.”

He chuckles. “I won’t hold my breath. Noel usually gets what he wants.”

I roll my eyes as I open the door. “So I’ve heard.”

Mike beats me to the back of the SUV and hands over my luggage. “See you around.”

More than anything, I want to laugh and bet him he’ll be surprised by just how little Noel will get his way with me, but I don’t. I don’t want to sound bitter and childish. Instead, I wave and pop the handle on my suitcase.

Trip and Tyke open the door to the bus and step out onto the pavement. Trip notices me and elbows Tyke. They stand there waiting for me to approach. This could be bad. It looks as though they want to guard the door and not let me on.

I tilt up my chin when I’m within a couple feet from them. I’m getting on that bus to give Noel Falcon a piece of my mind and those two won’t stop me. “Hey, guys. Noel in there?”

Trip grins. “Nice! You’re still coming with us. This should be interesting.”

I shake my head. “I just have some...business with Noel.”

Tyke looks concerned while Trip appears absolutely delighted. I run my fingers through my hair and start toward the door.

Tyke places a hand on my forearm. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

I stop and tilt up my chin. “I appreciate your concern, Tyke, but I can handle Noel.”

He removes his hand and nods before patting his brother’s back. “Come on, bro. Riff’s not in there, so I think it’s safe to let her in.” They part, and Trip motions me by with a grand sweep of his arm.

I fling open the door and my suitcase bangs against each step as I make my way up. Noel’s sitting on the edge of one of the captain’s seats strumming his guitar. He doesn’t even bother to help me with my bag. Jerk.

I fold my arms and stand there, ready for a fight, but he just keeps playing that stupid guitar as if I’m not even there. He closes his eyes and hums to the melody as though he’s trying to figure out the lyrics. I remember him doing the same thing when we dated before. Noel licks his lips and slides the bottom one between his teeth. It’s a simple move, but it’s unbelievably sexy. The need to feel his skin causes my pulse to kick up a notch. Damn him. He’s doing this to me on purpose. I reach over and wrap my fingers around the neck of his guitar, cutting off its sound.

Noel opens his blue eyes and grins in that sexy way that makes me weak in the knees. “Oh, hey, Lane, I didn’t see you there. You can go ahead and take your stuff on back to the bedroom.”

Is he serious? “Do you think this is some kind of game?”

He rests his arms casually on the guitar—tattoos directly in my line of sight. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m simply directing a guest slash employee where to store her personal belongings. Don’t see much of a game in that.”

I throw up my arms. “You’re unbelievable! You know that? If you think for one minute that you can force me to stay here, you’ve—”

In one swift move, Noel leans the guitar against the wall and stands directly in front of me. Damn these tight-spaced buses. He grabs my bag. I try to swat away his hands, but he’s too quick.

I stay hot on his heels as he starts down the hallway. “Give me back my stuff.”

“No,” he says before he unzips the suitcase and dumps the contents on the bed.

My clothes, makeup, and other personal items land in a messy heap. “You asshole! Why did you do that?”

His eyes meet mine. “Because the sooner you see you aren’t going anywhere, the better.”

I snatch the clothing. Noel smirks and shoves my bag behind his back. I scowl at him. "What's your problem? Give it to me."

A loud thud sounds in the tiny room as Noel drops the luggage. "Keep being so bossy with me, and I might just give it to you right now." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

I roll my eyes. "You're crazy. I can't keep up with you and these Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde mood swings you’ve got going on."

He steps so close to me his leg touches mine. "No mood swings. I'm just making sure you keep your end of the deal."

"How can you expect me to stay here after all this?" I whisper.

Noel grabs the waistband of my jeans and yanks me flush against him. Heat sears through me as he dips his index finger inside my jeans and traces the sensitive skin on my stomach. I squeeze my eyes shut and feel my head tilt back. Damn my stupid body for wanting him.

He chuckles, and my eyes land on his smug face. “See how easily I can turn you on? That’s why I expect you to stay—because you still want this.”

He releases me, and I gasp at the loss of his warmth which makes him smile even bigger. Why does he have to be so damn sexy? It makes the battle between my body and my head unwinnable. I hug my clothes tight as Noel steps around me and heads out the door. So much for having a rational conversation with him. The contract I signed with lies on the bed. It obviously fell out of my bag when Noel decided to dump out all of its contents.

I lay my stuff on the bed and sit next to the contract. Legal stuff wasn’t my strong suit in college, but I pick it up and read through it. It looks pretty standard except for the last few clauses. One said that if I didn’t fulfill my personal obligation of remaining on tour with Black Falcon for the full two weeks, I put myself at risk for being sued for breach of contract by both Black Falcon and Center Stage. Diana conveniently forgot to mention that little gem. I’m not even sure that’s legal, but I did sign it, along with Noel and Diana, and I’ve watched enough corny judge television shows to know a signed contract means a lot in court.

The second point says, at the end of the tour, Black Falcon will hand over all marketing rights to the band to Center Stage. That’s when it occurs to me why Diana brought this contract to me personally. It isn’t on the up and up, and she probably doesn’t want anyone in the firm knowing about her dirty little deal with Noel to make me stay here. Anger boils through me that both of these people trapped me here to get what they want.

I sigh then fold the paper and stuff it into my back pocket. A newfound determination pumps through me to show both of them how great at selling myself I can be. Since they seem to be able to hold me here legally, I’m going to have to suck it up and figure out a way to be around Noel without letting him crush my heart.

Chapter 22

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I don’t bother watching Black Falcon’s concert tonight. The farther I stay away from Noel, the better. Besides, I’ve gotten a ton of work done on the literacy charity while holed up in the bedroom all day. It’s fine by me if he stays away from me.

My phone buzzes next to me on the bed. Aubrey. She’s been texting me like crazy since our phone conversation this morning. I’m not even sure who she hates more at this point—Diana or Noel. Both of them, to her, are the scum of the earth.

Are you sure you don’t want to say screw ‘em and come home anyway? You can reschedule your flight.

I look at the clock on my laptop. My flight already left. If it wasn’t for this piece of paper in my back pocket that could ruin my life, I would hop on an airplane back to New York and not bat an eye. I sigh and text her back. I’m stuck. 

A hoot from the front of the bus draws my attention. The guys must be back. Several voices fill the bus, and Trip’s stands out.

“Hell of a show, guys! Did you see that crowd when Noel sang the encore? They were intense. One of the best gigs we’ve played all year. I say we get fucked up to celebrate!”

I tense at the mention of Noel. He’s going to come back here and try to get under my skin, to prove how much I still want him. The thought terrifies me and intrigues me. On one hand, I want him so badly it hurts. The last couple days we spent together were amazing. The mere thought of his hand sliding down my body causes me to erupt with goose bumps. But on the other hand, he has a fucking girlfriend, whether he claims her or not. A pregnant girlfriend who claims he’s the baby’s dad.

He says he wants to be with me, but those are just words. Even he’s said he won’t leave Sophie to be with me. So where does that put me? Am I a toy to be discarded when he’s done playing with me? I shake my head. That’s exactly why I need to keep my distance. I can’t let that happen.

I hear a couple cans open, which I assume are beer, before Trip says, “All right, boys, there’s a hot piece of ass waiting for me outside the bus. I got to get to it.”

“How hot?” Tyke asks.

“Fucking ten, dude,” Trip replies.

“She got a hot friend?”

Trip laughs. “Come on, little brother, I’m sure we can find you a score.”

I listen to the twins head off the bus bickering about which one is actually older. My stomach rumbles. I don’t know what it is about this damn bus that makes me to forget to eat. Noel or not, I have to find food. I save my work on the project and shut my laptop before I shove off the bed. I pad down the hallway and into the kitchen.

Riff leans against the island with a package of Oreos. He pours milk into a red plastic cup and then recaps the jug. He glances up and gives me a sad smile. “Hey. You want some?”

I shrug after I look around and find no sign of Noel. “Sure.”

Riff grabs another cup from the cabinet. “I’m surprised to see you. I figured you’d be in New York with Aubrey by now.”

Obviously Riff doesn’t know about the contract. I should tell him. Let him know about yet another underhanded thing Noel Falcon has done, but I decide against it. The band is struggling already without any help from me. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. “Trust me. I wish I was.”

He pushes the package over to me as he pours milk into my cup. “Want to talk about it?”

I shake my head. Riff is already fully aware of my plight. No need to rehash it. “Thanks for the milk...and the cookies.”

“No problem.” Riff smiles and tilts his head, almost as though he’s studying me. “You know, I meant what I said the other day. We should be friends. You can talk to me.”

I dunk my cookie and avoid his stare. “I’ll keep that in mind.” The last thing I need is another close relationship with a member of Black Falcon. His offer seems innocent, but I can’t shake the feeling that winning me over is a competitive thing with Noel. What’s with these two going after each other’s girls? Uncomfortable with where the conversation may go, I grab a couple more cookies to take to the bedroom. “Thanks for these and the...talk.”

Riff touches my shoulder. “No problem. Anytime.”

Once I close myself inside the room, I plop back down on the bed and get to work. It’s the easiest way to distract myself from thinking about Noel. After a couple hours of good, solid work, I glance at the clock. It’s after midnight, and the bus is quiet. I heard Riff leave shortly after our run-in, and I found comfort in being completely alone.

My vision blurs as I fight to keep my eyes open. I didn’t sleep for shit last night, and suddenly the bed is appealing. The lights flick off with the flip of a switch, and I snuggle down into the blankets. I’m nearly asleep when the door flies open, and a drunken Noel staggers into the room. He makes his way over to his side of the bed and laughs when he bumps his knee in the process.

“Noel?”

Before I can even ask what he’s doing, he makes it painfully clear. He wrestles his black shirt over his head. Light streams in from the hallway, allowing a beautiful display of his chest. I stop myself at that thought. I shouldn’t be thinking of him that way. He doesn’t belong to me; he’s Sophie’s. Noel told me that himself.

“What are you doing?” I whisper harshly. “Put your shirt back on.”

Noel laughs as he unbuttons his jeans. I turn my head away as his cock springs free. “Damn it,” he mutters. I think he should invest in some underwear. “Look what you did.”

“Excuse me? I haven’t done a thing to you.”

He chuckles as he nearly falls over while taking off his boots and jeans. “Yeah, well, that’s the problem. I have this raging hard-on whenever you’re around, and now you refuse to play with me.”

I cover my eyes to avoid seeing nude Noel standing beside the bed. “Well, get used to it. That’s never happening again.” I risk a glance at his perfectly hard body and immediately cover my eyes again. “Ugh. Would you please put your clothes back on and get the hell out of here?”

He ignores me and crawls under the covers. “Where am I supposed to go, huh? Tell me that.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “Not my problem. Now get out.”

He snuggles into the pillow. “No can do. Get used to it, babe. You and I are roomies for the next couple days.” Noel reaches around my waist and pulls me into his body. Hard liquor lingers on his skin, along with the distinct smell of women’s perfume.

I pry his fingers off my hip, and he sighs deeply and closes his eyes before he rolls over. I stare at the large cross etched into his back. Where does he get off thinking he can come in here and crawl into bed with me after what he’s done? A soft snore accompanies his chest rising and falling slowly. He’s passed out—so much for forcing him to leave. I grunt, frustrated, and flip to my other side. This will be a very long two days.

Chapter 23

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My mother’s annoying ring tone sings through the air. I peel my eyes open and freeze when I discover a very naked Noel Falcon wrapped around me. His tattooed forearm rests across my bare stomach. I attempt to lift it off me, but Noel bats my fingers away and reattaches himself.

“Stop, Lane. I’m trying to sleep,” he grumbles with his eyes shut.

I ignore him and shove his hand off, not caring if I woke him or pissed him off. When I fling my legs over the side of the bed, two large hands wrap around me and slide me back into bed. Noel rolls on top of me, effectively pinning me to the bed.

The phone stops ringing, and I push on his chest, which he seems unfazed by. He traces my cheek with the pads of his fingers, and my toes curl. Blue eyes gaze straight into mine before flitting down to my lips. My heart hammers with the anticipation of him kissing me.

Noel tips his head, and our noses touch. “Since you seem to be up early, there’s somewhere I want to take you.” My shoulders slump. That isn’t what I thought he was going to ask. Noel notices my disappointment and chuckles. “Don’t get me wrong. I won’t object if you want to stay in bed with me all day.”

I frown. “Just because I didn’t throw your drunk ass out of here last night doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind about being with you.”

He shrugs. “Maybe...maybe not. I don’t think it’ll take much to wear you down and get you to see my side of this situation.”

I shake my head. “That’s where you’re wrong. I’ll never be the other woman.”

“You’re not. You’re the woman.”

I open my mouth to protest, but before I get the chance, Noel rolls away and hops off the bed. He grabs a towel from the cabinet and wraps it around his still-naked waist before heading to the bathroom. “Hurry up and get ready. I want to spend the day with you.”

I rake my hands through my hair and take a deep breath. He still doesn’t get that we’re over...again. I pick up my phone and send Mom a quick text that I’ll call her a little later.

A few minutes later, Noel returns wearing only a towel. He doesn’t hesitate to drop it and pulls a clean pair of jeans out of the drawer. Noel frowns. “You aren’t dressed.”

“That’s because I’m not going anywhere with you.”

He tugs on my hand, and I snatch it away. “Come on, Lane. Can’t we get through this?”

I sigh and rub my forehead. “Are you still drunk? No, no, we can’t get through this. You’re having a baby with someone else.”

“But—”

“No fucking buts. We’re done. From this point on, this”—I gesture between us—“is just a business relationship.”

He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“Yes, it does. I’m basically a prisoner here. Between you and Diana, you’ve made it impossible for me to get out of this deal without ruining my financial future.”

“Lane—”

I hold up my hand. “Just stop talking. I don’t want to hear another word out of your mouth.”

Noel pulls his lips into a tight line. The muscle in his jaw works under his skin. “Fine. Fuck it. If you say we’re done, then we’re done.”

I open my mouth to tell him not to be like that but quickly shut it. He’s right. We are done. How can we possibly work out anything? He belongs to someone else. When he sees I’m not going to argue, he yanks a shirt out of the closet and slams the door when he leaves.

I rub my forehead and sigh. This sucks so much. It’s not supposed to be like this. How can he pretend things aren’t completely fucked up? I mean, he wouldn’t have anything to do with me if I were pregnant by another guy and refused to leave him. Why does he expect any different from me?

Out of sheer boredom, I attend the Black Falcon show. If I have to spend one more moment cooped up in that stupid bus, I’ll go nuts.

Embrace the Darkness rocks the crowd. Striker’s long hair flings around as he bangs his head to the beat. He flips his head up and points at the crowd as he belts the chorus. The entire place sings along, and he holds out his microphone to them. Even I know every word to this song. It’s number one on the charts right now. The song ends, and Striker pumps his fist in the air one last time. Screams fill my ears, and I smile as the band saunters offstage one by one.

“Great set, guys,” I tell the members of the group as they pass by.

Striker grins as he nears me. “Lanie, love, great to see you again.”

I smile as his eyes roam over my face. “You too.”

He peers over my shoulder, and I turn to follow his gaze. Noel strides through a circle of adoring fans but stops dead in his tracks when he spots me and Striker. He narrows his eyes, and for a second, it appears as though he might charge at us and read me the riot act for talking with Striker. Instead, he turns in the opposite direction.

“An odd fellow, that one,” Striker says. “He wants his hooks in you, that’s for sure.”

I face him. “Well, that isn’t going to happen.”

His eyes light up, and a broad smile covers his face. “There’s an after-party for the bands. You ought to go.”

I swallow hard. This feels a little soon, but it will be a good distraction from everything going on. Striker tucks a lock on his dark hair behind his ear, and I can’t help but notice that he’s pretty damn attractive. I stare into his chocolate eyes and nod. “Yeah, absolutely.”

“Great! I’ll be watching for you.” He touches my shoulder lightly as he steps around me.

Out of nowhere, Noel appears beside me the instant Striker is gone. “What did he want?”

I shrug. “To talk.”

Trip and Tyke take the stage, and the crowd goes crazy. I watch the two men tease the crowd with waves and a couple quick notes. I do my best not to look at Noel. The weight of his stare on my face tries to force me to look at him.

Riff steps up next to the stage and yells, “Noel! Come on, man, let’s do this!”

“In a minute. Lane?” I shut my eyes and try to pretend he isn’t talking to me. He grabs my elbow and twists me toward him. “Look at me.” His bright-blue eyes waver with a sad look, and it hurts me to see him this way. I sigh and try to look away to tamp down the emotion welling inside me. Noel takes my chin between his fingers and forces me to see him. “Don’t promise Striker anything. You’re going to be mine again one day.”

My heart bangs against my ribs. The intensity of his eyes and voice sends shivers through me. He’s so sure we’re getting back together, and it’s a little overwhelming.

“Noel! Man, hurry up!” Riff shouts, impatience thick in his voice.

Noel opens his mouth to say something but takes another look at me and closes it. He kisses my forehead before he turns toward the stage. Throughout the show, Noel glances in my direction, almost as if he’s double-checking I’m still there. When Black Falcon performs their hit ballad, he sits on a stool and turns in my direction. He brings the mic to his lips and sings soft words about being in love.

I bite my lip under the scrutiny of his stare, and he smiles at me. He’s basically serenading me before a crowd full of strangers, and it’s intense. His feelings are apparent—even Riff notices—but Noel continues to sing to me. A couple of off notes from the lead guitar catches my attention, and I watch Riff step directly into Noel’s view of me.

Noel hops off the stool and tries to step around Riff, but it doesn’t work. Riff blocks every step he takes. Riff is obviously pissed off that Noel is doing this. Noel tries again, and Riff stops playing and shoves Noel. Sensing the impending fight, I decide it’s best if I get out of Noel’s sight before they have a very public brawl in the middle of their set.

I turn away and book down the steps leading off the stage. Noel calls my name over the microphone, but I don’t turn back. The sooner he learns to let this relationship go, the better things will be for everyone involved.

Chapter 24

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I catch a ride to the after-party with Trip and Tyke before Noel gets an opportunity to tell me how awful Striker is or something. A bodyguard I’d never seen rides along with us. Mike is usually the one who hangs out with Noel and I, so I was getting kind of used to him. Squeezed between the twins, I wonder how long the ride to the club is.

“What made you want to party with us?” Trip asks.

“Not that we’re complaining or anything,” Tyke throws in.

I shrug and smile at them. “Just needed to get out.”

Trip grins. “Yeah, right. You sure it doesn’t have anything to do with Striker?”

My mouth hangs open. “How did you—”

Trip laughs. “Know the lead singer of Embrace the Darkness has a thing for you?”

“Yeah.”

“Noel won’t shut up about it. He’s been bitching the entire time.”

I square my shoulders. “Why should he care? He has Sophie.”

Tyke shrugs. “That’s what I told him, but he nearly ripped off my head when I mentioned that.”

I take a deep breath and face forward. It’s really crazy he expects me not to move on. I don’t get where he gets off thinking he should be able to have his cake and eat it too. News flash, this cake store is fucking closed.

We pull up to the club hosting the after-party, and just like the last time I went to one of these, it’s packed. Fans rush the SUV, and I tense. I kick myself for wishing for a split second that Noel was with me. Our bodyguard hops out and opens the door.

Tyke jumps out, practically right into the arms of a screaming group of female admirers. A little nudge from Trip, and I’m out and making my way inside. This place isn’t quite as wild as the last. No half-naked women are dancing in cages, but the dance floor overflows with bodies grinding to the beat. A couple men give me suggestive looks as they take in my short black skirt. I give them a polite smile but turn away when they start their approach.

Trip and Tyke sit at a table signing autographs for what looks like a never-ending line of fans. I glance around and relax when I don’t see any sign of Noel. Hopefully he isn’t coming. I step up to the bar and order a beer. The skinny blonde bartender doesn’t bat an eyelash in my direction after multiple attempts at gaining her attention.

“Excuse me, love, but you look like you could use a drink.”

I turn to find Striker with two beers in hand. He winks at me as he hands me one, and I smile. He’s looking good. His dark hair hangs loose around his face, and his blue shirt makes his eyes an impossibly deep brown. I lick my lips and take a long draw from the beer.

Striker leans into me and places his hand on the small of my back. “You here alone?”

I nod. “If you’re asking if I came with Noel, the answer’s no.”

He grins. “Brilliant! Care for a dance?”

I take another drink. This is what I came here to do—move on—and what better guy to do that with than this hunky specimen. I take Striker’s outstretched hand, and he curls his fingers around mine. He sets both of our bottles on the bar and tugs me toward the floor.

The minute we hit the floor, Striker pulls me in tight against his body. His hands roam down my back and then back up as he moves slowly against me. It’s deliberate and sexy, as if we’re alone in a bedroom instead of a packed dance club. A tremor shoots through me as he slides a knee between mine. Deep brown eyes lock on mine as he threads his fingers into my hair.

My lips part, and my heart hammers. This feels really fast, but I’m willing to try it if it gets rid of this hurt inside my chest. I pant as I close my eyes. A sudden jerk startles me, and my eyes snap open. Noel has Striker in a headlock, pulling him away from me. Striker shoots his elbows back into Noel’s ribs, but he refuses to let go.

“You can’t fucking take my girl!” Noel seethes. His eyes are boiling with rage.

My jaw drops. This is beyond ridiculous. Within seconds, Mike and a few other bouncer-type men descend upon the two tattooed rockers and yank them apart. While he’s still locked in Mike’s hold, Noel lunges for Striker.

“Calm the fuck down!” Mike shouts at Noel. Mike hauls him toward the door. Noel’s eyes refuse to leave me.

I roll my eyes. We need to seriously talk. He can’t keep interfering with my life. Striker straightens his shirt, and I notice all the curious stares from the other bar patrons. No doubt all of them are wondering what’s so special about me to cause this fight.

Striker runs his fingers through his hair. “Blimey. That bloke has issues.” Striker wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Where were we?”

I duck away and look at the door. I watch Mike shove Noel unwillingly through it. The urge to confront him surges through me. We need to end this here and now, for good. “I’m sorry, Striker. My ride is leaving without me. Maybe some other time?”

He frowns. “Your loss, love.”

The little jab is enough to relieve my guilt over leaving him on the dance floor. I rush through the club and out the door just in time to catch up with Mike shutting Noel inside the Escalade. “Wait up! I’m going back with you.”

Mike holds up his hands. “He’s drunk. I don’t think it’s a good time for you to—”

I shake my head. “Now is the only time.”

When I yank open the door, shock registers on Noel’s face. “Lane? I knew you’d—”

I slam it once I’m inside. “Shut it. I didn’t come here to make up. How could you do that to Striker? I’m trying to move on, damn it. This shit has to end.”

The moment Mike shuts his door, the SUV starts for the bus.

Noel shakes his head. “No, it doesn’t. I love you.”

I close my eyes and hold up my hand. “Stop. Stop saying stuff like that. It does have to end. How many times do I have to tell you I won’t be the other woman!”

He grabs my hand. “You’re not.”

I yank it away. “This ends tonight. Contract or not, I’m done.”

“Lane...”

I turn and stare out the window. “Please stop talking.”

The rest of the ride back to Big Bertha, Noel doesn’t say a word. The tension is thick, and everyone in the vehicle can feel it. The minute we park, I jump out and head for the bus. I’m over this. I’m over the tension and feeling trapped. If they sue me, what can they possibly get? I have nothing but a rented apartment. I don’t even have a car, for crying out loud.

When I get back to the bedroom, I throw my suitcase on the bed. I yank open a drawer and throw my clothes in the bag. Tears threaten to spill from eyes. I’m throwing away everything, but I can’t take being here one more minute. It just hurts too much.

“What are you doing?” Noel says behind me.

A tear spills out of my eye, and I wipe it away with the back of my hand. “What’s it look like I’m doing? I’m leaving.”

“What about the contract?”

I shrug. “What about it? You can sue me if you want, but you aren’t going to get much.”

Noel’s beside me, and he wraps his fingers around my wrist, successfully stopping me from packing. “I’m not going to sue you.”

I face him with tears streaming down my face. “Then why did you make me stay? I can’t take this.”

He pulls his lips into a tight line. “Using the contract against you was the only way I knew to make you stay. I don’t want you to leave. I need you to stay with me.”

“I can’t. I can’t let you hurt Sophie by being with me. If you commit to someone, you should stand by it.”

“But I don’t love her,” he whispers. “I just want to be a good father.”

I see the need to prove that he’s a better man than his dad in his eyes. Even if I love him, I’m not okay with him having a family with another girl and keeping me too. “You’ll be a great father. I know it. Irene will be thrilled to have a grandchild. You should really make up with your parents and figure out how to forgive Frank. All fathers make mistakes. Your first one was being with me.”

Noel takes my hand. “I love you so much. And you’re right. That wasn’t being the kind of father I want to be.”

I hang my head. My heart tears at his words. I know he loves me, I can feel it in his words, but our timing is off. “Noel...”

He cups my face and forces me to look at him. “I hate this. The thought of losing you again—it tears me up. Tonight when I walked in on Striker touching you, things went through my mind, and I nearly lost my fucking head. You’re my heart, Lane. You’re my everything.”

To know how much we hurt each other kills me. A sob escapes my lips. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

His thumbs wipe the tears from my face. “I know, baby. It’s not your fault. I have to learn to let go. Don’t blame yourself.”

“I don’t mean to hurt you.”

He sighs and takes a stand of my hair between his fingers. “You can’t worry about that. Losing you will hurt no matter what. Just promise me one thing.”

I gaze into his eyes. “Anything.”

“Promise that you don’t hate me. I can’t live with myself if you do.”

I nod. “Yes. I promise.”

Noel’s lips crush down on mine. I close my eyes and don’t bother to fight what I know is our last kiss. Even though it’s wrong, the sheer need to be with him, to please him in every way, vibrates through every cell in my body. His hand knots into my hair, and I wrap my arms around his neck. My fingertips rub the back of Noel’s neck. It’s so warm and inviting under my touch. My heart pounds, and suddenly I’m hot all over.

“I love you, Lane,” Noel says against my lips. “Forever.”

My breath leaves my chest, and I feel a little dizzy. He breaks our kiss, and heat sears along my jaw as his lips work down my neck. I fist his shirt tightly as I whimper. His large hand grips my thigh and hitches it around his hip as he slides his hand under my skirt. My legs open wider as his fingers trace the elastic edge of my panties. Once the fabric’s aside, he teases my swollen folds with the tip of his finger.

I grab his hair and yank his mouth back to mine. Every inch of me is aroused by his touch, and I tear at his clothes. I want his skin on mine. I need to feel him.

Noel slides both hands up my sides and peels off my dress. It lands in a heap by our feet as he directs his attention to exposing my breasts. One hand massages my breast while he wraps his lips around the other. I throw back my head and moan. It’s amazing how he knows just what I like. He yanks down my panties and then removes his own shirt and pants as though he doesn’t want to give me time to change my mind about this.

Our mouths meet, and he kisses me fiercely. With one swift move, he has me down on the bed. The mattress creaks with our weight, and Noel’s eyes roam down my body. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

I crush my lips to his, and his tip circles my moist flesh, each time hitting my clit and nearly making me lose my mind. I grind against him, and he grins at my excitement. A trail of fire remains in the wake of his lips as they work down my shoulder. He works his hips in a slow steady motion, allowing the head of his cock to slide against my folds. Heat builds up in my core, and after we connect once more, I explode. Every inch of me clenches at the pure release of ecstasy. Noel kisses me, and I moan into his mouth. His tongue finds mine and circles it as he plunges inside me with one quick thrust. My fingernails rake down his back as he fills and stretches me in the most delightful ways.

“I love being inside you. It’s my most favorite place on earth,” he breathes against my lips.

I close my eyes and try to block out the thought that this will never happen again. That this is the last time I will feel this connection with Noel. I bite my lip as I pull my hips up to meet each thrust, allowing him to get deeper. Pretty soon, I feel the fire tugging at the pit of my belly again, and I know it won’t be long until I come for the second time.

“God, Lane, I need you to fall apart with me. I don’t want to be alone.” His words shove me over the edge, and I lose all control. At the same moment, he grunts as he comes hard and fast inside me. After he pulls out of me, he rolls over and stares into my eyes. “I love you.”

A tear streams down my face. “I love you, too. Forever.”

We lay in each other’s arms, neither of us wanting to end the moment, but I know it can’t last. I pull away from him, and he sits up. He kisses the top of my head and grabs a towel before heading to the shower. Once I hear the water turn on, I jump out of bed and throw my clothes back on.

The suitcase I was packing got knocked on the floor. I bend down and stuff the clothes back in it before I zip it and make my way off the bus.

Chapter 25

––––––––

The door on the bus slams shut, and I freeze. Damn. I was hoping to sneak out without being seen. I readjust my messy bun and attempt to smile as footsteps boom up the steps. A gasp escapes me as my eyes land on the woman I saw on the internet. Sophie is with Noel’s bodyguard, Mike. I fall back against the bedroom door, and the smile drops off my face. What the hell is she doing here? My eyes flit to my ragged appearance.

Shit.

Sophie is even more beautiful than her pictures. Her long blond hair sits in a high ponytail, and her skin is flawless, nearly like porcelain. Her baby bump isn’t very big, not that noticeable unless you’re looking for it. Being in the same room with the woman who is about to give birth to Noel’s child twists my stomach into a huge knot. I take a deep breath and prepare for her to lash out.

She looks me up and down with blazing eyes. “Is this her?”

My heart leaps into my throat as the guilt of what I’ve just done washes over me. I open my mouth to tell her I’m sorry, but no words come out. The shock of seeing her has me flabbergasted.

“Sophie, stop.” Mike touches her arm.

Her face snaps toward him. “Don’t you dare take her side!”

I swallow hard as Mike throws up his hands in frustration. “You know what? I’m sick of this shit.”

Her eyes narrow. “Shut up! Don’t you say another word.”

I glance between Mike and Sophie. Their exchange puzzles me. Mike has never gotten this personal with me, so why does he talk to her that way?

“What’s going on out here?” Noel growls as he creeps up behind me. I jump at the sound of his voice. His eyes flit down to my bag. “You going somewhere?”

I bite my lip and shrug, not really wanting to have this argument in front of the mother of his soon-to-be-born child. Sophie clears her throat, and Noel turns toward her.

Her face goes from disdain to angelic in less than a second. “Hey, baby.”

My stomach turns, and tears threaten to spill from my eyes. That sweet term of endearment might as well be a knife straight into my heart.

She takes a couple steps toward him but halts when he holds up a hand. “What are you doing here?” Noel asks.

She pokes out her lip. “I missed you.”

Mike grunts. “You’re unbelievable!”

Her head whips toward him. “I said shut up.”

“No. I’m tired of this bullshit.”

Noel crosses his arms and furrows his brow. He’s clearly confused about the tension between Mike and Sophie too. He steps closer. “Mike...? What the hell is going on, man?”

Mike sits on the loveseat and frowns at me before he places his elbows on his knees. His tattooed arms strain as he drops his head into his hands and rubs the back of his buzzed head. “I fucked up.”

I place a hand on Noel’s forearm. The tension in the air tells me things are about to get ugly fast.

Mike sighs. “Tell her, Soph. Tell them what we did.”

Sophie snaps her head toward Mike. “Butt out, and learn to mind your own business.”

He glares at Sophie. “You don’t think this is my fucking business? Either you tell them, or I will.”

Her eyes widen. “I don’t think I—”

“Damn it, Soph!” Mike shouts. “I can’t live with this shit anymore. I can’t stand lying to them. We’re hurting people.”

Laughter outside cuts through the momentary silence on the bus—the rest of the guys are back from the club. Trip and Tyke make their way onto the bus with Riff in tow. The twins stop dead in their tracks. The tension in the small space is clear. Riff clenches his jaw when he spots Sophie. I feel for him because I know exactly how he feels seeing the two of them together.

Trip clears his throat. “Should we leave? Looks serious in here.”

Noel shakes his head as he glares at Mike and Sophie. “No. Stay. You’re just in time to hear some secret Sophie’s been keeping.”

Trip hops up on the counter, and Tyke leans next to him. Trip watches us as if we’re an entertaining movie—minus the popcorn—while Tyke pulls his lips into a tight line.

Riff flexes his jaw muscle and steps into Sophie’s view. “How many more secrets can she possibly have?”

She doesn’t even bother to acknowledge Riff as he stands beside Tyke. Mike frowns at me, and my heart jumps into my throat. Whatever these two are hiding, it’s bad, really bad. The agony is clear on Mike’s face. Sophie locks her gaze on me. I squeeze Noel’s arm as I wait on her to speak.

She sighs. “The baby doesn’t belong to Noel.”

Noel’s body tenses as he yells “WHAT?” at the exact same time Riff does.

Mike stands beside Sophie and threads his fingers through hers. “It’s mine.”

Noel’s hands fly into his hair, and he grabs handfuls of it. He paces with his eyes closed. He whips his head toward Riff, and a look of what seems like understanding passes between them. “Told you I would’ve never fucked your girl. I would never do that shit to you!”

Riff’s face twists in anger, and his nostrils flare. “You fucking slut!” He storms off the bus.

A wave of nausea rolls through me. “Are you sure?”

Sophie nods. “I never slept with Noel.”

I rub my forehead. Why the hell would she tell a lie like that? Why would Mike allow another man to claim his child? My heart shatters into a million pieces for Noel. His struggle to be a better man, his inner-war was all for a lie. There wasn’t even a possibility he was the father of her baby.

“How could you do this to me? You put me through pure fucking hell! Mike, man...” Noel growls in frustration. “I thought we were friends.”

Mike doesn’t answer, just drops his head again.

Noel glances up and lets out a sarcastic laugh. “I’m fucking out of here.”

I grab his arm, but he flings me off and leaves without another glance back. The bus door slams shut, and I jump a little. Tyke pats his brother’s shoulder and jerks a thumb toward the exit. The brothers stalk off after their friend. I swallow hard when I realize everyone’s left me alone with Mike and Sophie. Sophie fidgets, clearly uncomfortable, drawing my attention to her.

I ask, “What was the point in pinning your unborn baby on Noel when you and Mike are clearly together?”

She shrugs. “I didn’t really have a choice. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I panicked. Riff can’t have children. Once he found out about Mike, he would have had Noel fire him. I love Mike. I don’t want him to lose his job over me. I knew if I blamed Noel, he wouldn’t remember anything because he parties so damn much. He sleeps with anything that moves—no offense—and Mike would be in the clear.”

I twist my lips and stare at Mike. “I can’t believe you went along with this. You’re like his brother.”

His shoulders slump, and he nods. “I know. That’s what makes this so hard. Watching him struggle has been awful. When you guys fought in the SUV last night, I saw firsthand what this lie was doing to you both, and I felt guilty. All Noel ever talks about is being with you, how much he loves you. He’s said over and over that if it wasn’t for Sophie, the two of you could have it all. I had to make shit right, even if I lose my job. I love her, and I want to take care of my baby.”

Tears burn my eyes. This entire time, we could’ve been together. We’ve fought over a lie. The weight of the damage done pushes on me, and a sob escapes my lips. I bury my face in my hands. How can two people be so selfish? It’s not okay to play with people’s heads like that.

“Lanie...” Mike says, but I can’t look at him.

I want to scream and yell at them. Tell them how evil they are. But I can’t bring myself to do it. Sophie lied to try to protect someone she loves, and I get that. It’s wrong and completely twisted, but I can respect it.

“I’m really sorry,” Mike tries again.

I sniff and bat at the tears rolling down my cheek. “I think you all have done quite enough. You need to go.”

Sophie’s shoes click against the steps as Mike leads her down them. The door opens and then closes softly. I glance at my suitcase. Noel and the rest of the band are going to need some time to recover from this scandal. They don’t need another girl hanging around and possibly coming between them.

I start toward the door and head for the group of Black Falcon roadies hanging out near the Escalades. Hopefully one of them will be nice enough to take me to the nearest airport.

Chapter 26

––––––––

Nothing has changed in the two weeks I was away from Center Stage Marketing. All the employees work furiously on their computers as I pass by. Diana scheduled our meeting for first thing this morning. I think she’s anxious to see my plan for Black Falcon’s charity. I believe Noel didn’t tell her I left the tour a few days early or she would have just fired me over the phone. The door to her office is wide open. I stick my head inside, and she waves me in. I take a seat across from her and balance my computer in my lap.

“Lanie, it’s so good to see you, and congratulations for lasting the entire two weeks on tour. Noel called me this morning and said you stuck out your time like a champ. Not that it was a major task for you.” She winks.

I swallow hard, feeling a little uncomfortable that she knows so much about my sex life. “Thank you, Ms. Swagger. I actually have the proposal done as well.”

I flip open the screen and stand, but Diana holds up her hand. “No need for that, dear. The more experienced members of my team already outlined the project, and we have things in the works.”

I tilt my head and furrow my brow. “You don’t even want to see what I’ve come up with?”

She holds up her hand as though I’m being ridiculous. “Your only real job was to look pretty and keep Noel Falcon happy. You’ve done just that. Leave the real work up to the rest of us.”

I pull my lips into a tight line and slam the lid closed. “You were never going to take me seriously no matter what I did, were you?”

She pulls off her glasses. “Lanie, dear, the sooner you understand that certain people are used for their brains and others are meant to just look pretty, the better off you’ll be. I’m a thinker—a visionary—while you’re the type who can wrangle in clients for me.”

I blow a rush of air through my nose and roll my eyes. “Do you know how archaic that sounds? As a woman, surely you don’t really think that way.”

She shrugs. “That’s reality, honey. You better get used to how things work in the real world.”

Anger boils through me. Part of me always knew she was using me, but I never imagined she would completely shut me down. She won’t even give my work a chance. The dream of working under her doesn’t seem like such a grand idea anymore. I lift my chin. “You know what, Diana, I quit.”

She flinches. “You can’t quit. Have you forgotten about the contract you signed?”

“I didn’t forget. I made it through my two weeks on tour, so you can’t sue me, and there’s nothing you can do if I quit.”

Her eyes narrow. “You’ll never get another job in this town again.”

I shrug. “The non-compete was only for New York. I’m fine with leaving this state if this is how business is done here.”

Her jaw drops. No one is going to treat me like a piece of meat, especially not her. Her expression shows that never in a million years did she expect an intern to tell her she can basically shove her job up her ass. I grin, turn around, and—without a second of hesitation—walk out.

“I can’t believe you quit!” Aubrey says as she watches me pack my suitcase.

I smile as I think about the smug look on Diana’s face disappearing when I quit. “Believe it. That woman’s a tyrant.”

She pokes out her bottom lip. “You sure you can’t stay? There are a thousand jobs in this city other than marketing.”

I zip my suitcase. “I love marketing. That’s where my heart lies. It sucks that I can’t stay here with you, but going back home will be good. Mom misses me like crazy, and I can find a job in Houston or something.” I set my bag on the floor and pull up the handle until it clicks. “I think I’m all set.”

Aubrey steps around the bed and wraps her arms around my neck. I close my eyes and lean into her as a tear escapes down my cheek. I hate leaving her. She’s the only thing I don’t want to leave behind. She rubs big circles on my back. “It’s going to be okay, sweetie. You and Noel can finally have your happily ever after.”

I squeeze her tight. “I don’t know if we can. The entire time we fought over him having a pregnant girlfriend, he asked me not to leave him—to let him show me I wasn’t second to him. At the first sign of a problem in our relationship, I ran. I don’t know if he’ll forgive me for walking away from him a second time.”

She pats my head. “Sure, he will. True love can get through anything. He’ll forgive you.”

God, how do I even go about fixing this? The whole thing is one big clusterfuck.

She pulls back and wipes her eyes. “Go on, before I decide to hold you hostage.”

I frown. “You sure you’re going to be all right by yourself?”

She sniffs and smiles. “Are you kidding? Now I can have all the wild sex parties I want. Maybe I can even get Riff to visit.”

I roll my eyes. “I’ll tell him you miss his...”

She smacks my arm. “Don’t you dare tell him that, no matter how true it is. That boy has one giant—”

I shove my fingers in my ears. “La! La! La! La! Not listening to you!”

She laughs. “Go on, smartass, before you miss your flight. Riff says the pass to get into the V.I.P. show for tonight will be at the door under ‘Long-Dick Dong’?”

I shake my head. “Those guys really love giving that pseudonym. I’m so glad to hear he and Noel are working things out since Mike finally told them the truth.”

She sighs. “Me too. I can’t believe that bitch would do that. Doesn’t she know she nearly destroyed one of the greatest rock bands ever?”

“Love makes people do insane things. Look at me. I’m traveling cross-country to apologize to a man I’m not even sure wants me anymore. He hasn’t called once since he learned the truth. This is probably a mistake.”

She pushes my long hair over my shoulder. “The only mistake when it comes to love is not going for it.”

I practice everything I want to say in the cab as we speed toward the venue. Black Falcon is doing an acoustic show to kick off the children’s literacy campaign for a small audience of three hundred people. I read on the internet the ticket prices jumped up to nearly three hundred a piece for such an intimate event.

Aubrey arranged for Riff to leave me a ticket at the entrance after she advised him not to tell Noel I’m coming. I don’t want to cause a scene before the show, so I figure I’ll slip backstage and talk with him after.

The cab driver stops at the entrance of the A&R Bar and I slide some cash to him before I slip out the door. My heart thunders as I walk through the entrance. This is it. He’s somewhere in this building. I collect my pass from the girl at the door after she snickers at the ridiculous name Riff left it under. Someday I’m going to have to speak with these guys about changing their incognito name.

A small stage sits along the far wall, and tables and chairs face it. Every seat is packed, except for one in the left corner farthest from the stage. Silently, I say a prayer of thanks. The farther back I sit, the better. I don’t want to distract Noel. These people paid a ton of money to watch him sing for an hour.

The chatter all around me dies down as soon as the guys take the stage. Their normal grand entrances are nowhere in sight. The guys smile and wave as they take their seats to play an all-acoustic set. My eyes lock on Noel.

He sets a bottle of water on the floor beside him. His distressed jeans and black T-shirt hug his body perfectly. His dark hair sticks up in every direction and has that messy look I find unbelievably sexy. Even from a distance, I can see he looks beat down and tired, not his usual upbeat, cocky self. A pain in my chest hits me hard, and I clutch my shirt. He pulls the mic to his lips and says a simple, “Hello.”

Trip starts off the beat, thumping on a box-looking thing, while Tyke and Riff strum their guitars. Noel nods and closes his eyes as he sings. His voice is always beautiful, but it sounds different. A little more tortured.

Every song goes on that way, his eyes mostly remaining shut as he belts out the words. Finally, he announces their last song, and I know it’s almost time to face him. During the last chorus break, I stand and grab my suitcase, ready to find my way closer to the stage. As I near the security team, I flash them the backstage pass Riff left for me.

“Lane?” Noel’s voice echoes around the room. “Is that you?”

This is exactly what I wanted to avoid—a public scene—but I have no choice now. I turn slowly, and our eyes lock. His lips quirk up before he whispers in Riff’s ear. He stands and meets my stare again. Riff nods and leans over toward Trip and Tyke to fill them in on whatever Noel just told him.

Noel brings the mic up to his lips. “This song goes out to the girl who is my everything. I’m not an easy man to love, and music is about the best way I know how to express my feelings. This is called ‘Faithfully’.”

Riff plays a few notes on his guitar, and I instantly recognize the melody made famous by Journey.

After the intro, Noel’s voice blends into the acoustic chords beautifully. He takes a couple slow steps before hopping off the stage. He fixates on me while coming closer with each step. My heart pounds as he stops directly in front of me. He sings sweet words about life on the road being tough and how loving a man involved in the music business is hard. Especially when things don’t always go the way they’re supposed to. Noel’s eyebrows pull in as he gazes into my eyes and continues the verse. The last few lines are about me standing by him through everything and that he’s mine, forever and faithfully.

A lump catches in my throat and I swallow hard, trying not to cry in front of a room full of strangers. Noel grabs my hand and threads his fingers through mine. I squeeze his hand as a tear slips down my cheek. He lets my hand go and brushes it away while he continues to sing. He says he’s lost without me, and being apart isn’t easy, but we need to learn to fall in love all over again.

He sings, “Faithfully. Oh oh oh oh...”

A sob escapes me, and everything I planned on saying flies out the window. I feel how much he loves me through the passion in those lyrics. Noel drops the microphone, and a loud thud snaps around the room. He cups my face and pulls it to his. Tears stream down both our faces, and he presses his lips to mine.

“Forever,” he whispers. “I’m yours.”

Rock the Band

A Black Falcon Novella (1.5)

by Michelle A. Valentine

Chapter 1

Light flickered across the room as the bus rolled down the highway. The constant rumble of the wheels below us comforted me as I held the woman I loved in my arms. Being with her was home. Everything I needed was on this bus. Lane had finally chosen to give herself over to me and be completely mine.

I traced my fingertips over the soft skin on her bare shoulder as she rested her head against my chest. I’d admit I was shocked to see her in the bar earlier tonight at the end of my gig. That Riff could be a sneaky bastard—always able to pull fast ones if the situation called for it.

I hadn’t expected to see Lane so soon, but he knew how much I’d been suffering and took it upon himself to arrange for us to talk things out. Over the few days we were apart, after Sophie and Mike revealed how they’d completely fucked up my life, I’d gone over everything I wanted to say to her at least a million times. How sorry I was. How it was wrong for me not to try harder to make things work between us. The fact that I should’ve stood up to Sophie after she tried trapping me in a relationship I didn’t want for the sake of a child—a child that turned out to not even be mine.

I closed my eyes and tried not to think about that or how stupid my thought processes had been. The idea of being the best father I possibly could had clouded every judgment I’d made in all the other aspects of my life, including the way I’d tried to keep my relationship with Lane a secret until I figured the Sophie thing out. It was wrong of me to ask that of her, and the realization hit me hard when I thought she’d left me for good.

The bus slowed down. Our driver, Jimmy, probably needed to hit the head.

Lane stirred in my arms. “Are we nearly there?”

I smiled and ran my fingers through her brown hair. “Not yet. We still have an hour or so.”

I couldn’t wait to get her back to my place in Kentucky, knowing that after she saw it she’d finally agree to move in with me. It was the perfect spot for us. When I bought it, I was looking for someplace like my parents house on Cedar Creek Lake, back in Texas. As much as I hated to admit it, I missed that place like crazy. One of the best weekends I’d had in a long time was when Lane took me home with her to our old neighborhood. Hopefully, my place would remind her of being home and safe.

She lifted her head and placed her chin on my chest. I took a lock of her brown hair and twirled it around my finger. There was an odd comfort in doing that. At times, I wished it were physically possible to wrap her entire body around me, like I did with her hair on my finger. It was crazy to love someone so much, I knew that, but I couldn’t help it. Being around her made me want to be a better man.

Big Bertha jerked to a stop and Lane pushed herself up on the bed. She raised her arms over her head in a delicious stretch and I tucked an arm behind my head, taking in the sight of her bare chest in the moonlight. I bit my lower lip as I trailed my eyes over every inch of her body. It was amazing how fucking sexy she was.

She dropped her arms into her lap and whipped her head in my direction. Her lips pulled in to a heart-stopping smile. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

I furrowed my brow but couldn’t fight back my grin. “How am I looking at you?”

Lane shrugged. “I don’t know, like you’re studying me.”

A chuckle escaped from me as I sat up with lightning speed and pulled her back down into bed with me, brushing a few stray hairs free from her face before tracing her delicate jaw line. She really was absolute perfection.

“Maybe I am studying you.”

She readjusted her head on the pillow. “Why?”

“Just wondering why you came back to me tonight? I mean, I was fully prepared to grovel to win you back, but I was just giving you space.”

She sighed and brought her hand to cup my face. “I left to give you time to figure things out. You just had your entire world rocked. I didn’t want to add any more drama.”

This was one of the reasons I loved this woman. She actually cared about my feelings. No one had ever done that before. She was the only person who had ever put me first in their life. Not even my parents did that. The only time she’d ever considered herself was when she left me on the dock, but she was right to do that. Back then I never put her first, and I see now how shitty that made me. Her leaving pushed me to succeed. It drove me and, in a way, I owe her for that.

I leaned my head down and placed my lips on hers. “You are my world, and you’re welcome to dramatize it all you want.”

Her mouth turned up into a smile. “I think it’s time we live drama free for a while, don’t you?”

I nodded and stroked her face.

Drama free? Was there really such a thing? Life for me had always been filled with it. The only time I’d ever experienced true peace was on stage. The surge of the crowd and the heavy thump of the drums pulled me into what felt like another dimension, making me forget all the bad shit in my life. It was true to say I felt nearly the same way in moments like this one with Lane, but deep down I always had to fight back the fear that someday I’d fuck things up and she would decide to run from me again.

Then it hit me. I needed to make this thing between us permanent. I had to show her I meant what I’d said earlier at the show. That I was hers—forever.

I stared into her green eyes and made a silent promise to myself that somehow, someway, I would make this girl my wife. The mere thought of us being apart again caused an ache I didn’t think I could bear. Yes, giving her my last name would alleviate that fear.

Lane reached up and tapped my temple. “I know that look. What’s going on in that brain of yours?”

Damn. She caught me. But I wasn’t prepared to tell her what I’d been thinking about. She would probably give me the speech about taking things one day at a time, and I fucking hated that speech. I was ready to live in the moment—the here and now—with her. If she could only see herself through my eyes for a second, she would know how I felt and wouldn’t need to question my motives because she would know I loved her to the depths of her soul. She would see how completely she rocked me, in every way possible.

“You’re still doing it.”

I bit my lip. She wouldn’t leave me alone until I gave her an answer. I knew how relentless she could be. I shrugged and replied as coolly as I could, “Just thinking about surprising you with something.”

She raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “What kind of surprise?”

“Now, why would I ruin it by telling you?” I teased.

Lane’s lips pulled into a smile. “Guess I’ll have to withhold sex until you tell me.”

I grabbed her around the waist and rolled her over on her back. Every inch of my body covered her naked flesh and my cock twitched at the nearness of her moist heat. I ran my right hand up her side, knowing full well the effect of me being so forward had on her. I pinned her gaze with my eyes.

She squirmed beneath me. “You’re cheating!”

I licked her bottom lip. “How is this cheating?”

Her legs moved further apart and I slid my hips between them, my throbbing dick pushing against her folds. I ran my nose along her jaw and inhaled the intense scent of her hot skin. Fragrances of sweet shampoo and a mouth-watering perfume filled my nose. Every sense in my body went into complete overdrive by her nearness. I dragged my lips across the flesh of her neck and when she tipped her head back, letting a moan escape from her parted, pink lips, I knew she wanted what I was about to give her.

My hand slid down her belly until it found the point where our bodies were about to connect. Only one finger glided into her, and she bucked her hips against my hand. I ground the palm of my hand against her clit, giving it the friction she craved. She gasped and closed her eyes. The urge to taste her raged inside me, so I snaked my tongue out and licked from the base of her throat to her chin. Lane opened her eyes, grabbed both sides of my face in her hands and crushed her lips against mine. A primal need to take her, to feel her, pushed through me, and a growl rumbled in my chest.

I loved it when she was forceful with me. It turned me on instantly when I could see the need to be pleased in her green eyes. She was practically begging me to fuck her senseless.

“Noel.”

She said my name with a mixture of pain and desire. My breath came out in ragged spurts, and I nipped her earlobe between my teeth. The way I felt about her was crazy. It was primal and raw. I needed to connect with her in every possible way.

I circled her clit with the tip of my finger in a forceful rhythm. Her eyes rolled back and her entire body shook as she came hard against my hand. While she was still in the moment, I grabbed the base of my shaft and guided it into her, not allowing her time to come down from her orgasm.

“Oh. God. Yes!” she cried as I plunged into her over and over again.

Knowing it was me making her scream like that was nearly enough to drive me over the edge right then and there, but I held back and tried to pretend the feel of me sliding in and out of her wasn’t the best fucking feeling in the world.

Her nails raked along my back all the way down to my ass, where she grabbed it with both hands as I worked in and out of her. Lane held my gaze and chewed on her bottom lip. I couldn’t resist. I bent down and kissed her, grazing my teeth along that lip.

“I love you,” she whispered against my mouth. “Forever.”

I closed my eyes. It was the word I’d told her earlier, that I was hers forever. To hear her confirm the same feeling, it nearly caused me to choke up.

Lane must’ve sensed the emotion welling up inside me, because she pushed against my shoulder, forcing me onto my back.

I gripped her hips in both hands as she positioned herself over the head of my cock before impaling herself on it, gasping as she took in my length to the base. Mesmerized by the sight of her, I couldn’t peel my eyes away as she rocked her hips in a steady rhythm. Long strands of her brown hair cascaded down her back. She reminded me of an angel, her body needing to be worshipped.

I sat up and wrapped my arms around her and she arched against my hands. Her muscles around my cock clenched, making it nearly impossible to hold back.

“Fuck, Lane.”

Both of her hands found my chest as she braced herself and picked up speed. She enjoyed getting me off.

I cupped her right breast as I sucked her pink nipple into my mouth, my eager tongue flicking across it as she slammed down hard on me. The warmth of our connection flowed through me as I inhaled the scent of her desire. I leaned back, enjoying the ride she was taking me on. She was getting close again. I could tell. She always grabbed her own tits when she was nearly ready to come. I watched as she plucked her left nipple between her fingers before rolling it and moaning.

“You are so fucking sexy,” I told her as I watched her knead her own breast.

She grinned and leaned in to kiss my lips. I splayed my fingers across her ass and encouraged her to ride me faster. With each buck of her hips Lane whimpered, as she ground her clit against me. I loved that I could make her come while I was deep inside her. With other girls, I’d never cared about making the sex last long. I was only looking to get off. There was never a connection with any of them. But with Lane it was different. Making sure she was satisfied pleased me nearly as much as letting go inside her. There was nothing better than that.

“Come with me,” I whispered roughly in her ear.

Mutual gratification between us simultaneously was exactly what I craved, and Lane’s moaning grew louder as she rode me with determination. She was grinding her clit against my pelvis, working hard to comply with my request. I watched from under hooded eyelids as she tipped her head back, screaming out my name as she came for the second time.

“Fuck.”

The sight of her letting go caused a shudder to rip through my entire body as my cock erupted, and I filled her full.

She collapsed against me and I kissed her cheek over and over, still craving more of her. “I love you so much.”

Never in my life had I loved another person as much as Lanie Vance—I knew that now more than ever. I had to figure out a way to make her mine forever.

Chapter 2

The crazy awkward silence Riff and I had struggled with for the past few months had gone, thankfully. It was nuts how the lies of one stupid chick had nearly resulted in the demise of the one thing we had built together—this band. Black Falcon meant everything to Riff. I knew that and so did Sophie, which is probably why she concocted the plan to blame me for getting her pregnant. She knew once it got out that Mike had knocked her up, brother or not, he would’ve been canned. We couldn’t allow shit like that to fuck up our world. The band was our top priority. Unfortunately, Sophie was smart enough to realize that and pinned the baby on me so Mike could keep his fucking paycheck, while I took the rap. The bitch was probably hoping to milk me out of some money along the way too. I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to fall for her game.

“What’s the score?” Riff asked as he plopped down beside me on the loveseat to watch Trip and Tyke go at it on the Xbox.

He handed me a beer and I twisted the cap off. “Trip is whooping his ass, as usual.”

“I heard that, fucker,” Tyke snapped but never took his eyes off the screen on the wall in front of him. “I’m about to murder this chump.”

Tyke’s blonde hair hung loose around his head, while his twin brother, Trip, kept most of his black hair concealed under a black bandanna. Thank God those two tried hard to create separate identities because, based on looks alone, I would never have been able to tell them apart, and they hated when people confused them more than anything in the world.

Trip laughed at his brother’s last remark. “You couldn’t whip yourself out of a wet paper bag, let alone murder me.”

I took a swig of my beer while those two pounded at the buttons on their controllers.

Riff cleared his throat next to me. “So, things are good with you and Lanie?”

I nodded. I was pretty sure he already knew the answer to that. She’d screamed her brains out in my room during both of our sexual escapades earlier tonight.

“Yeah, things are great.”

I adjusted my ass in the seat. It was hard not to bust out and tell my best friends that I planned to marry her as soon as fucking possible, but I knew the twins had had a lot of reservations about Lane coming on the bus in the first place. They hated drama and had seen the mind-fuck I had experienced with Lane and Sophie coming a mile away. They’d tried to stop it, but I had been ready to go to war if I’d had to in order to get close to Lane again. Lucky for me, I’d had enough pull as the front man of Black Falcon to get my way. The deal with that greedy bitch Diana Swagger had been a terrible thing to do to the band, but I’d had to agree in order to get Lane on my bus for two weeks.

Trip and Tyke had tried like hell to talk me out of bringing her on tour, but had eventually given up when they’d figured out just how desperate I’d been to get Lane back. But me announcing that I was ready to marry her so quickly after all the shit the band had just been through...well, they would have a fit. And while they had every right to be apprehensive about the idea, Lane wasn’t like any other girl we’d brought on this bus. She was smart, and determined to be successful in her own career in marketing. She wouldn’t have time to stir up drama for us, even if she wanted to.

“How long is she staying at your place?” Riff asked while he picked at the label on his bottle.

“The entire break. She’s planning on catching a ride back to Texas with us when we start back on the road.”

He nodded. “A week of freedom before you have to face reality, right?”

I furrowed my brow. “Reality?”

“Yeah, you know, the true test of a relationship. Distance.”

I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to think about being apart from her just yet. It was too hard. The mere thought had me missing her like crazy, and I could only imagine what would happen to me when I had to leave her again.

I brought the bottle to my lips and let the cold beer run down my throat. That was one of the other reasons I needed to get a ring on her ringer. Commitment. I needed it from her, and I’m sure, given that my selfish ass had always put her second to everything in my life, she was going to need it from me too.

Before I could say anything to about it, Lane pulled that damn rolling suitcase down the hallway. “I’m packed. Are we ready?”

I looked over at Riff, and we bumped fists. “I’ll catch you later, bro. Guys.” I smacked both Trip and Tyke in the back of the head while they stayed oblivious to the world.

“Damn it, Noel. You dick! You nearly got me killed,” Trip whined.

I stood and downed the rest of my beer before tossing the empty bottle into the trashcan.

I took Lane’s bag and smiled. “And they wonder why they strike out with chicks so much.”

Lane giggled, and I kissed her lips.

“I heard that! Just so you know, I don’t get any complaints when it comes to how I lay the pipe,” Trip retorted.

Riff nudged his boot into Trip’s back. “It doesn’t count when you pay them.”

“Jesus! For the last time, I didn’t know she was a fucking hooker until afterwards. I should never have told you guys.”

Tyke snorted next to him. “We would’ve wondered where the love of your life ran off to eventually. You had to either tell us, or go broke in order to keep her around.”

I laughed, grabbed Lane’s hand and led her off Big Bertha. Those guys were complete idiots, but I loved them. With my mom and dad out of the picture, they were the only real family I’d known for the past four years. We shared a bond that even I couldn’t really describe. A brotherhood was the closest thing I could come up with.

The minute Lane and I stepped onto the concrete I threaded my fingers through hers, gazing down at her and smiling. She wrapped her free hand around my forearm and leaned into me as we walked toward Kyle, the new bodyguard I’d hired to replace Mike.

Kyle seemed cool enough. He was a built dude, maybe even a little bigger than Mike, and he had this vibe about him—like he was ready at any moment to rip someone’s head off if the situation called for it. The female fans seemed to dig him too. They all tried to touch his shoulder-length, brown hair, but he didn’t let their attention affect him too much. In the short time I’d known Kyle, one of the very first things I learned about him was the fact he was in a serious relationship with a girl named Emily—a girl who meant a lot to him. Immediately, I respected him.

Kyle opened the door to the Escalade and took Lane’s bag from me. “You guys ready to get off that bus for a while?”

Lane sighed next to me. “Yes. I can’t wait to see Noel’s house.”

Kyle crunched his brow as he opened the back of the SUV and shoved the suitcase inside.

“You’ve never been there before? I thought you guys had been together since high school?”

I opened the door for Lane.

“We were together all through high school, but then took a bit of a break. Technically, we just got back together,” Lane told him without a stutter before she hopped into the vehicle.

Her delicate phrasing of our time apart was sweet. It was as if my past didn’t bother her, and that shocked me. She was so forgiving and understanding. Even though we weren’t together when I was fucking around with all those other women, I still felt guilty, like I wronged her by doing that in some way. She really was too good for me. I prayed to God that she never asked me how many women I’d slept with since her, because I really didn’t know.

I’d dabbled in a little in drugs over the years until Riff forced my ass into rehab a few months back. My life during that period was a complete fucking mess. Half of it I don’t remember, which is why it was so easy for Sophie to pin shit on me. I’d gotten clean just in time for Lane to walk back into my life. If I’d been strung out when we met back up, she would never have given me another shot.

I slid in next to Lane and rested my left hand on the bare skin of her thigh. I loved it when she wore jean shorts like this. The tips of my fingers drifted to her inner leg but I quickly moved them as I felt my dick jerk in my pants. An hour-long ride with a boner would not be fun. I would be tearing her clothes off the minute we were alone if it stayed that way. I threaded my fingers through hers and thought about getting to my place and showing her the dock. I was excited for her to see it.

I knew it was selfish, even demanding on my part, but I hoped once she saw it, she’d want to stay with me. That she would forget about her original plan to move to Texas with her mom and look for another marketing job. I needed her with me. I hadn’t realized how much I needed her until I’d had her back, and then lost her again.

Kyle hopped into the driver’s seat and slammed the door. I rattled off my address and he tapped it into the GPS before he put the motor into drive.

Butterflies thrashed around in my stomach. It was only a matter of time now until I had Lane all to myself, and I could start phase one of my plan to make her mine forever.

“You going home for the week, Kyle?” Lane asked a few minutes into our trip.

Kyle nodded. “Yeah, I have a flight scheduled in the morning. I miss my Emily like crazy. I can’t wait to get home and surprise her for a couple days. Being on the road away from her is harder than I thought.”

I sighed because I knew after this week I was going to be feeling the exact same way. I gave Lane’s hand a little squeeze and she turned her face toward me. She bit her lip as I surveyed the look in her eyes. The same thing was on her mind. I could tell because her eyes always gave her thoughts away. I reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear with my free hand. The tips of my fingers lingered on her face.

Lane leaned in and kissed my lips before she whispered, “I love you.”

I tipped my head and placed my forehead against hers. “Forever.”

We made small talk with Kyle the rest of the way to my place. About thirty minutes into the drive, Lane and Kyle both kept commenting about how dark it was in the middle of the Kentucky woods. I’d admit it could be pretty unnerving,, until you grew accustomed to being in the country. The band’s agent hated that we lived out here. It was away from everything, including commonly used amenities—the best we could get was satellite internet, and cable. And cell service? Forget it. That was one of the major reasons I loved living out here, because I could really get away from everything.

“Around the curve on the left is my driveway. You’ll see the gate,” I instructed Kyle.

We turned into the drive and Lane sat up straighter in her seat. “I can’t wait to see your house.”

I gave her thigh a gentle squeeze. “And I can’t wait to show it to you.”

Relief flooded me the minute my modest log cabin with its lone porch light came into view. At first glance everything still looked the same, but in the darkness it was hard to tell. I was always taking a chance leaving the house unattended while I was on tour. Someone could rob me blind and I might not find out until months later when I came back. Everyone said I needed a security system but, way out here, I didn’t think I needed it.

It was good to be home. This was the one place I could get away from my life—the one place where I felt normal. Before Lane came back to me, I felt like a piece of meat. Fans, especially the female variety, always wanted a piece of me, and they shamelessly used me for my fame.

I had been looking for a love to replace Lane’s—to get her out of my head and heart—but I couldn’t find anyone that ever compared to her. The women never wanted me, not really. They wanted a rock star, and most of the time they couldn’t care less if it was Riff or me they ended up sleeping with. People always called men dogs but in reality, women were just as bad.

Kyle pulled up next to the house and cut the engine. “Wow, man. This place is secluded.”

I chuckled as I opened the door. “Just the way I like it.”

Kyle headed toward the trunk as I helped Lane out. “I could never live out here like this.”

He stacked our luggage on the front porch. “After the crazy life I live most of the time, I love being away from it all.”

Lane fixed her hands on her hips as she peered around her surroundings. “Well, I like it.”

I raised my brow. “You do?”

She nodded before she turned and threw her arms around my neck. “It’s peaceful, and a nice change from the bus.”

My hands slid around her waist, and I drew her into me. Her chest pushed against mine as I leaned down and kissed her sweet lips. “You mean you won’t miss living in cramped conditions with a bunch of drunk assholes?”

She giggled in my arms and shook her head. “They aren’t so bad, but I am looking forward to some alone time with you.”

A grin spread across my face. “Be ready, babe. Right now starts an entire week of just you and me. Speaking of which...Kyle, we’re good here, man. You can head back.”

Kyle shut the doors on the Escalade and pulled the keys from his pocket. “All right, then. I’ll be back on Tuesday morning to pick you guys up.”

Lane rested her cheek against my chest and placed her hand on my chest. “Be careful driving back.”

Together we watched as Kyle drove away. The minute his taillights were out of sight, I scooped Lane into my arms.

She tossed her head back and laughed as I carried her toward the front door. “Aren’t you Mr. Romance?”

The warmth of her body against mine stirred every nerve within my body. I didn’t think I was ever going to get enough of this woman. After I stepped onto the porch, I tipped her up and she planted both feet onto the ground. Lane wrapped her arms around herself and shook a little from the slight nip in the night air as I lifted the welcome mat to retrieve the key to let us inside.

She twisted her lips. “Really? Who knew mega-famous rocker Noel Falcon kept a hide-a-key.”

I chuckled and unlocked the front door. “The hiding place stays between us.”

Before she could answer with another smart-ass remark, I lifted her back into my arms and carried her through the door.

She shook her head. “Noel, you’re such an idiot. This is a tradition for newlyweds.”

I shrugged. “Practice makes perfect.”

After a quick peck, I set her down again and flicked on the lights. Relief flooded me. The entire place was just as I had left it. Hardwood floors throughout the cabin gleamed against the glow of the recessed lighting. The great room was clean and orderly, with each of my pillows still perfectly placed on my black leather sofa.

Lane rubbed her hands together, taking in the layout of the room as I shut the door, closing us inside. “Do you have a housekeeper?”

I bit my bottom lip as I pulled her into me again. It was nearly impossible to keep my hands to myself around her. “Nope.”

She scrunched her nose. So fucking cute. I stretched my finger up and tapped it.

“You don’t think I’m capable of keeping a clean house?”

Her hair trailed down her back and I caught a strand of it and wrapped it around my finger.

She licked her lips and peered into my eyes. “I didn’t know that was one of your many skills.”

Holy hell. A naughty glint twinkled in her eyes. She was going to kill me if we kept going at this pace. Not that I was complaining. Death by sex? It would be the best fucking way to die. But, three or four times a day would definitely have me addicted to making love to her. How would I ever get anything else done? I still needed to be a functioning human being.

I grabbed the waistband of her jeans and yanked her forward so she was flush against me. “I’ve got enough skills to keep you surprised and satisfied for a lifetime.”

She grabbed fistfuls of my hair and yanked my mouth down to hers. The warmth of her mouth sent a signal below my belt that it was time for action. Our tongues danced together while I slid my hand under her shirt. The silk of her bra was all that separated my hand from her perfect skin. I dipped my fingers inside the cup and shoved it underneath her breast. The nipple became rigid beneath my hand and I squeezed it roughly, causing my cock to jerk hard inside my jeans.

I shoved her tank top up and bent down to take one of those perfect nipples into my mouth. She moaned and ran her fingers through my hair. And damn, if that didn’t get me even more excited.

Her skin blazed beneath my lips as I kissed a trail up her chest to her lips. All of my fingers found their way into her hair as I plunged my tongue into her mouth. The fabric of my red T-shirt strained against my skin as she yanked a handful in her fists. This side of Lane turned me on more than anything. The way it seemed she couldn’t get enough of me thrilled me because it mimicked the exact feeling I had for her.

I walked her backwards towards my couch, and when the back of her knees hit it, I lay her down. I quickly tore my shirt off my body, anxious to have the feel of her skin against every inch of me. Lane panted while peering up at me through sex-hazed eyes as I stood over her. There was nothing sexier than a woman in need of a good fucking, and right now, Lane was the sexiest fucking thing I’d ever seen.

That was the last coherent thought that flowed through my brain before I made quick work of tearing off her clothes to give her just what she needed.

Chapter 3

A soft snore was the only sound bouncing around the four familiar walls of my loft bedroom. Lane’s head rested against my chest while she curled her fingers into a loose fist on my stomach. I played with a strand of her hair between my fingers as my eyes roamed over every inch of her exposed, olive-toned skin. The fact she was comfortable enough to sleep practically right on top of me made me grin like an idiot. She was truly my soul mate. It was practically like we were the same person.

I wasn’t sure how long I lay there and stared at her perfection, but it was long enough that the sun rose a little higher and struck my bed at the perfect angle to shine right on us.

My God, she really looked like a fucking angel. I still had a hard time believing she’d come back to me. She really was too good to be mine.

Lane stirred a little in my arms, and I rubbed the bare skin of her shoulders with the pads of my fingers. “Good morning, sleepyhead. Do you want breakfast?”

She snuggled tighter into me and giggled. “Mom’s not here to supervise your pancake flipping skills this time.”

“Hey.” I nudged her a little. “I resent that. I’ll have you know I’ve mastered the perfect pancake now.”

She sat up and pulled the quilt around her chest before swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

The bed suddenly felt colder without her in it. “Where are you going? Come back.”

She shook her head. “Oh, no. I have to see the master of pancake making in action.”

I sat up in bed and pulled her back against my chest. I kissed the soft skin on her neck while inhaling the scent of her fruity shampoo mixed with her perfume.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to bed?”

I continued to tease her and allowed my lips to linger at the pressure point just below her ear. She cocked her head to the side, giving me better access, and squirmed against me. This newly found little area seemed to be the site of her undoing. Every time I went for it, she went a little crazy, which in turn, excited me even more.

“Please come back to bed?” I whispered roughly as I ran my hands up her sides before reaching around and slipping her breast into my palms. “Please?”

I knew it seemed crazy to crave someone so much, but I couldn’t help it. I was fucking addicted to her.

“Noel...”

The way she said my name made me bite the inside of my lower lip. It was rough and slightly breathless and I knew she wouldn’t be resisting me too much longer because she enjoyed sex just as much as I did. Hell, she liked it so much she forgot to eat half the time.

“Come on. A morning quickie, then I promise to keep my hands to myself until tonight.”

She whipped her head towards me and raised an eyebrow. “You? Keep your hands to yourself? Sounds like an easy bet I’d be able to win.”

A grin tugged at my lips. She was right. I probably wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off her completely, but I’d be damned if I let her see just how much of an effect she had on my self-control. Damn it. I needed to keep some fucking man cards here.

“Careful, you’re opening yourself up to a dangerous situation. I don’t think you can go an entire day without touching me either,” I quipped right back at her.

She turned to face me while still holding the blanket tight around her chest. “I think I can.”

I tilted my chin and stared down at her. “You do, do you?”

“Absolutely.”

The stubble along my jaw was rough as I ran my hand across it. “I say we make a bet.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Set your terms, Mr. Falcon.”

This was getting interesting and could work to my advantage. “If I win, you have to hold off on moving back to Texas and come back on the road with me.”

Her gaze roamed over my face as she bit her bottom lip. I knew this look too. It was her weighing-every-option-even-though-I-really-want-to-do-it face, which meant she was considering it.

After a couple long moments, she tilted her head to the side. “Deal. But if I win, you don’t get to complain about my job anymore—regardless of what it is.”

Hmmm. I was not expecting that curveball, but I had faith in myself that I would be the victorious winner in the situation and get my way. After all, I would do anything to keep her with me, even if it meant exercising some self-restraint for one day, and especially if it meant another couple months of her constant companionship. The longer I kept her on the bus, the longer I had to work up the nerve to pop the question, and let her get comfortable with the idea of becoming mine forever.

“You better pack your bags, baby, because you’re heading for another extended stay on Big Bertha.” I waggled my eyebrows at her.

Lane shook her head. “We’ll see,” she said in an almost singsong voice.

“Come here, you,” I growled as I pulled her back down for one last round of mind-blowing sex while I was still allowed to touch her.

She squirmed and giggled beneath me as I traced her face with the tip of my index finger. Her green eyes stood out against her olive skin. They were beautiful. It was possible that I might be able to stare into them all day without moving.

Sheesh. What was she doing to me? I was becoming a total pussy.

She swallowed hard and then licked her lips, and the mood shifted from playful to serious in nearly an instant. The rhythmic pace of her chest increased in speed and I bit my lip as I felt my cock harden against her body.

Even though I couldn’t get enough of her body, this crazy chemistry I felt between us stemmed from more than just sex. We had something here.

Love. And it was undeniable.

Every time I thought it wasn’t possible to love her anymore, I found my heart swelling more each second I was around her.

“I love you so much that sometimes it hurts.”

The delicate fingers on her right hand cupped my cheek, and she ran her thumb across my lips. I shut my eyes from the pure erotic pleasure of her intimate touch. Tremors shot down my spine, and my mouth hung open slightly. Lane used that as an invitation to slip her thumb into my mouth a little. I closed my lips around it, tasting her flesh with my tongue.

How was it possible for someone to taste so fucking delicious?

“Noel, I want you,” she whispered.

Lane pulled her thumb from my mouth and ran it down the center of my neck, crossing my Adam’s apple before she curled her fingers around my neck and pulled my head down. Her lips crashed into mine and a wave of emotions flooded me. I couldn’t be without this. Not for even one damn day.

I had to win this bet.

––––––––

Cooking breakfast went relatively smoothly. Lane even raised her eyebrows in surprise after I flipped a couple perfect flapjacks onto her waiting plate. Neither of us made a move to touch the other. It was clear that it was game on at both ends. We were both so competitive that it was sometimes ridiculous.

We sat across from each other at my small, wooden kitchen table. The late morning sun shined brightly through the windows and lit up every inch of my country-style kitchen. She looked adorable, wearing only my T-shirt and her panties with her hair still loose and wild from all the time we’d spent in my bed earlier.

Lane spread butter across the top of her pancake and drizzled syrup all over as a finishing touch. Just to torture me, she began to lick syrup from each of her fingers in a provocative way that reminded me of a hot porno.

The wheels in my brain turned as I watched her clean each of her fingers free of the sticky substance. It wasn’t hard to picture her pouty lips wrapped around my cock. The mere thought of that caused an ache in my crotch and I felt my dick harden. I had to admit I would lose my fucking mind if she kept this shit up all damn day. A man could only resist so much temptation.

I gripped the fork in my hand tighter, trying anything to distract me from the thoughts rolling through my head.

Lane smiled and licked her lips. “What’s wrong, Noel?”

A rough breath purged from my mouth. “You’re kind of evil, you know that?”

She placed her hand on her chest and raised her eyebrows in mock surprise. “Me?”

I rolled my eyes and fought the urge to run around the table and grab her into a huge bear hug for being such a smart-assed tease. “Don’t play innocent. You know you’re cheating.”

She shook her head as she cut into her food with a triumphant smile. “You didn’t set any rules in this little game, so how is it that I’m cheating exactly?”

Damn it. She’s right. I should’ve been smarter about setting up this bet. Lane knew I got turned on like a fucking light switch, and she was using that to her advantage.

I leaned back in my chair and stretched out my right leg then quickly pulled it back for fear of accidently touching her with my foot. I clawed at my bare chest out of pure frustration.

Lane snickered after she swallowed a bite of her breakfast.

I shook my head and raked my fingers through my hair. “What I wouldn’t give to give you a good spanking right now.”

“Well, why don’t you?” She licked her lips slowly just to tease me.

A sarcastic laugh tumbled from my mouth. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

She cocked her head to the side while her gaze roamed from my face down to my chest. “You have no idea.”

Her words almost sounded like a purr. I tossed my fork on the table, ready to spring into action and give her just what she had requested, but had to steady myself with a few calming breaths. I couldn’t take another fucking minute of this. If she kept this shit up, I would most definitely lose and would never be able to finagle another way to get her back on my bus.

I shoved my chair back, leaving my stack of pancakes untouched.

“Where are you going?” Lane cried as I leapt from my chair. “Come back!”

I shook my head. “No way. I’m winning this fucking bet. You fight dirty.”

She poked her lip out. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll play fair. Just come back and eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”

My eyes narrowed but I didn’t make a move to sit back down. This made me seem like a pouty little bitch, but there was no way I was going to sit across from her while she continued this torture. If I had to keep my distance for the rest of the day to make that happen, then that was what I was going to do.

Lane crossed her fingers over her heart. “I’ll be good. I promise.”

I watched her expression sadden for a moment. That look on her face was nearly worse then the seductive one she teased me with only moments ago. Both made me ache to touch her. To hold her in my arms and give her exactly what she needed.

Instead of touching her, I sighed noisily before I plopped back down in my chair.

She smiled. “Thank you. Now eat.”

We made it through the rest of our meal without another fight. The conversation remained casual as we talked about friends from high school, and what they were up to now. Lane assured me I was definitely the most successful person from our graduating class, while I begged to differ. She was amazing, and easily the smartest person I knew.

I cleared my throat. “You know there is one other thing I owe you an apology for.”

Lane propped her chin up with her right palm. “What’s that?”

“I’m sorry about your job. I know how much it meant to you, and I feel sort of responsible for fucking it up for you.”

She shrugged, but her face showed it was still a sore subject.

“Diana Swagger is a bitch. Going on the bus with you, and her tricking me into that stupid contract, just showed me her true colors earlier on. That woman would’ve never taken me seriously. She told me that to my face. To her I was there for looks. Hell, in her mind I’m sure she would’ve tried to force me to be your sex slave if it meant getting Black Falcon’s marketing rights.”

“I detected a sleaze factor from her when I chatted with her on the phone about you, but I made that deal with her anyway. I guess I was so desperate to get you back, I was willing to make any deal I needed to in order to get you there.”

Guilt poured over me. Never in my life had I felt as slimy as the day I made that deal with Diana. It was wrong, and I’d known it. After Lane walked in on me with the two topless groupies and then the horrible dinner we’d had, I knew she would never speak to me unless I forced her. My anger when we’d first reconnected overwhelmed me, and I had lashed out at her every chance I could. At the time, I was still hurt by her leaving me and I wanted to get back at her, to show her everything she missed out on, and to prove deep down she still wanted me just as much as I wanted her.

Lane stretched her arm across the table and reached for my hand. I grinned at how easy winning this bet was about to be, but at the last second she pulled her fingers into a tight fist. “Damn it. I almost forgot.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you go ahead and lose so we can get this over with. You know you want to come back on that bus with me just as much as I need you there.”

“Because I’m tired of fighting with you over a stupid job. Winning this bet means you aren’t allowed to complain at all, and I like that idea.”

It was never her job I hadn’t liked. It was the idea of her using it as an excuse not to give in and finally be with me that pissed me off. I’d admit that it would be hard to allow her to tie herself down to a job in Texas without bitching. If she took a job, she wouldn’t be able to just drop everything and join me on tour like I wanted, and being with her all the time was my main goal.

“What?” she asked, shaking me out of my thoughts.

I chewed on the skin on the corner of my thumb. “Nothing, I guess. It’s just I was hoping you wouldn’t have to take another job right away. I like the idea of you with me on tour.”

She sighed. “Noel, you know I want to be with you too, but I have to find another internship somewhere so I don’t throw everything away. I don’t really have a choice. I need experience in the marketing field.”

“I know, but I don’t want to let you go. I just got you back.”

Lane stood up and came around the table, stopping at my side. “Let’s call truce. You’re right. I don’t know if I can be away from you either.” She held out her hand to me. “At the same time, so we both win. I’ll come on the bus with you for a while, if you promise not to bitch whenever I do find another internship or job.”

I stared at her hand. This was really the best of both worlds. One, I could finally touch her again, and two, she’d be on Big Bertha with me. I slid my fingers into hers, our hands fitting together perfectly. Finally having her soft skin against mine sent a tingle up my arm.

“Deal.”

I pushed my chair back and pulled her down into my lap. Her dark hair tickled my nose as I leaned into her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She tossed her arms around my neck and then lay her head on my shoulder. For moments like this with her, I was willing to be anything and everything that she needed, even if that included learning to live apart from her from time to time. Her happiness meant everything to me, and I would try my damndest to always keep a smile on her beautiful face.

Chapter 4

Lane’s fingers entwined with mine was what I imagined heaven felt like. Even just that small touch connected me to her. It was nice finally being at peace inside my heart. Waging war on myself over everything that had happened Sophie for the last few months had taken more of a toll on me than I had realized. It’d made me do crazy, out of my mind things that I would never typically have done.

We continued to walk around my modest property. It wasn’t much, but it was the perfect piece of ground. It had vast woods as far as the eye could see, set atop high rising hills. There wasn’t another soul around for miles, and for some reason that was a totally freeing feeling, especially when compared to my typical lifestyle.

After the tour of the empty barn near the house, I took Lane around the back of the house.

“Where to next, Mr. Tour Guide?” Lane asked.

My lips pulled into a grin as the dock on my private lake came into view. “My second favorite place in the world.”

Lane gasped as she took in the landscape. The hill gradually sloped downward, just like it did at our parents’ houses back on Cedar Creek Lake. A slightly overgrown path led down to the entrance of the dock. I felt her squeeze my hand a little as the most beautiful smile lit up her face. I knew this would please her.

“Come on.” I gently tugged her forward.

Hand in hand, we made our way down the dirt path in the intense heat of the early summer’s day. Other than the white railing needing a new coat of paint, everything still seemed in good shape.

Once we were on the dock Lane slid her hand along the rail. So many times I’d dreamt of bringing her out here. There had been times I’d sat out here with my eyes closed and imagined what it used to feel like when I’d held her in my arms on a dock just like this. For four years, I couldn’t shake those thoughts, and now she was here. It was almost surreal, very dream-like.

When we came to the end, I released her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulders as she leaned on the rail to overlook the water. “Noel, this is perfect. It’s almost like being home.”

I brushed a loose strand of her hair off her cheek, and she turned her gaze toward me. “This could be home, if you wanted it to be.”

She twisted her pink lips. “We talked about this, remember? Taking things slow.”

“I know, but sometimes it drives me crazy because I already know what I want, and I’m ready to make that happen.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’m sure because I never want to mess things up with you again. I can’t be without you. The only thing that concerns me now is your happiness. I’m just asking for the chance to be your everything. I need to be your forever.”

The light stubble on my chin scratched the tips of her fingers when she traced my jaw. “You are my forever, Noel. I promise, no more running.”

My heart thundered like a bass drum in my chest. Her green eyes gazed up at me, holding nothing but sincerity to back up her words. For some reason this felt like the perfect moment. What better time to do it but now? We were on a dock. We were fully committed to one another, and had voiced we belonged to each other forever at different times over the past couple days.

I opened my mouth to pop the question, but the words wouldn’t come out. It wasn’t that I was afraid or anything. It was the thought of being unprepared. Lane deserved that perfect moment. One like they showed in the movies, where the guy surprises her by being totally romantic and thoughtful and presents a ring that means serious business. I felt unprepared to deliver such a huge moment. I didn’t want her to think I was doing this on a whim, and that I wasn’t positive this—us—was what I wanted.

My eyes roamed over her face and I turned her body to face mine. Both of my hands cupped her face. Even though I really wanted to tell her what was on my mind, I panicked and said the first thing that popped into my mind.

“Good, because chasing you rips my heart out. I want you to stay with me. Always. No more running.”

Lane nods. “And no more secrets.”

That stung a little. “You’re right. No more secrets. From now on, we share everything. No matter if it’s something the other probably doesn’t want to hear. Deal?”

A slow smile filled her face. “What’s with you and all these bets all of the sudden?”

I shrugged. “I like keeping you committed to me, even if it’s just a stupid bet.”

That was the most ridiculous explanation ever. God! I was becoming a sappy dumbass. What the hell was wrong with me?

She lifted one eyebrow and shook her head. “Are you sure you’re not crazy?”

I knew it—even Lane thought I was losing it. Who knew trying to figure out how to get the woman I loved to marry me would make me go batshit crazy. This situation was getting too heavy.

I took a step back and glanced around the quiet lake. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lane wipe a little sweat from her brow and it gave me a brilliant idea to lighten the mood.

“Oh no!” Lane said before she stepped away from me. “I know that look. Don’t even think about it.”

I kicked off my shoes and laughed. “You might as well lose yours too, because it’s happening.”

She made a move to run but I grabbed her around the waist and then hoisted her over my shoulder. Both of her feet kicked wildly as I attempted to remove her shoes. When she didn’t hold still I gave her ass a smack, just hard enough to sting through her cut-off shorts.

Her shriek echoed around the open water as I yanked her shoes off one by one. “Noel, I swear, do not throw me in that water!”

I carried her to the edge of the dock.

“One.”

“Noel...” she warned.

“Two.”

“No. Wait!”

“Three!” I laughed and tossed Lane into the clear water of the lake.

The water rippled around the spot where she’d gone under, and when her head popped above water a couple seconds later, I dived in beside her, still fully clothed. The crisp water shocked my summer-heated body to the core, and for an instant I felt a little evil for throwing her in, but forgave myself a second later after I adjusted and it felt like heaven.

She splashed water in my face. “You asshole! I still have all my clothes on.”

My pierced eyebrow quirked up of its own accord. “Like I’ve told you before, clothing is optional around me. I prefer you naked.”

I reached through the water until my hands found her torso so I could yank her against my body. Even through the chilled water, I felt my temperature rise. She just had that effect on me. My eyes peered down at her chest as the thought of Lane in a wet T-shirt crossed my mind.

“What’s that smirk all about?” she teased.

I bit my lip. “Just how fucking hot you’ll look in that white tank top when we get out of this water.” I reached over and traced her bra strap with my fingertips. “If only you weren’t wearing this.”

Her smile turned wicked as she turned away from me while treading water. With some crazy-mad skill, she pulled her shirt up just high enough to reveal her bra hook and reached behind her and did a one handed flip to unclasp it. Once her shirt was down she faced me again so that I could witness her masterful removal of her bra without taking off her shirt. It swirled around the air a few times in her hand before she flung it up on the dock.

“That was impressive.” I laughed, fully enjoying her slight striptease.

Lane threw her arms around my neck and leaned in to press her soft lips against mine. I would never get enough of her sweet taste. I plunged my tongue into her mouth and wished I could bury other parts of my body inside her.

It was difficult to get the closeness I craved while treading water, so I knew I needed to end this before I got so turned on that I tried to fuck her right here in the lake. Sex in water was never my thing. I much preferred to slide into a woman with an ease caused by her natural arousal.

I pushed away from Lane and grinned before quickly placing my hand on top of her head and shoving her under. That should be good for a mood shift. The thought alone of being inside Lane was enough to make my dick hard.

She resurfaced, fighting mad. “You’re such an asshole!”

I laughed as she splashed water in my face again. “So you keep telling me, but I know that’s just another way of you saying you love me.”

She rolled her eyes, and I knew I was right.

Chapter 5

I rolled over in the darkness and stretched my arm out to find a cold spot in the bed where Lane’s body should have been. I sat up and looked around, still half asleep. There were no lights on, and I felt panic rip through me. I sat up and called out her name, but she didn’t reply.

There wasn’t any noise as my bare feet padded across the wooded floor toward the master bathroom. “Lane?” I tried again.

Still no answer.

I crept down the dark hall before flicking on the light and heading down the stairs. When I got into the great room, I froze at the sight of Lane curled up under a blanket on the leather sofa. Panic washed through me as reasons as to why she wasn’t sleeping in bed with me flashed through my brain.

Just as I opened my mouth to wake her and ask what she was doing, she erupted into a coughing fit.

Oh no. She was sick.

I tiptoed over to her and placed my hand on her forehead. “You’re burning up,” I said, more to myself than her because she was out of it.

Leaving her fast asleep, I went into the bathroom to find a thermometer and ibuprofen. I rummaged through my medicine cabinet, slinging bottles out of the way until I found the pain reliever, but no thermometer. After cursing myself for not being better prepared for a situation like this, I went to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water for Lane.

I returned to find her scrunched into a ball and shivering. I almost felt guilty for waking her, but I knew she needed medicine for the fever.

“Lane?” I nudged her arm. “Lane, wake up. I brought you some medicine.”

She groaned and then opened her eyes. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

I shook my head. Silly girl.

“No. I was just worried when you weren’t in bed, so I came to find you. Here.” I held out the glass for her. “This is ibuprofen.”

Both of her arms shook a little as she pushed her weight up off the couch and then took the glass and pills from me. “I don’t know what’s happened to me. I felt fine when we went to bed.”

A frown pulled on my lips as the thought crossed my mind that somehow I made her sick by throwing her in the water earlier today. My fingers raked through my hair.

“Don’t do that,” she said.

I stopped and tilted my head. “What?”

She swallowed the pills and chased it down with a gulp of water. “Blame yourself for this. I’m sick. It happens. I’m sure the virus was in my system long before you tried to drown me today.”

Her mind reading ability was uncanny. Sometimes it was easy to forget she knew me just as well as I knew her.

“I’m calling a doctor in town first thing in the morning.”

Lane closed her eyes and shook her head. “No. I don’t want to go anywhere. Just let me sleep this off.”

“You won’t have to go anywhere. I’ll have him come here.”

Her fingers trembled as she rubbed her forehead. “Doctors don’t make house calls anymore, Noel.”

The look on her face told me she was in pain. Quickly, I readjusted the pillows. “Lie back down. You don’t look so good.”

Once I had her in a comfortable position, I went to the hall closet and grabbed another blanket for myself. I dimmed the lights from the stairway, and then made my way over to the oversized recliner next to the couch.

“What are you doing?” she asked as I plopped down and then kicked my feet out.

“Getting comfortable so I can try to get some sleep.”

“You don’t have to suffer along with me.”

I raised an eyebrow at her ridiculous statement.

“Where you go, I go. If you’re miserable, then I’m going to be there to help you. Now, get some rest.”

Lane wasn’t any better in the morning, so I called the local physician’s office and rolled my eyes when I heard one of the women in the office actually squeal when the receptionist told her who was on the phone. The squealer got on the phone and asked how she could help me. She had that nervous little giggle in her voice that some women got when they talked to me. I tried to be as polite as possible without getting annoyed.

“Well, ma’am—”

“Tammy,” she corrected, cutting me off with another giggle.

I sighed. “Tammy, my girlfriend is sick and I need Dr. Malone to come to my place and see her.”

“Oh, my goodness, I’m sorry, Mr. Falcon, but Dr. Malone doesn’t do home visits. Can’t you just bring her in?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Can you please just check with him? When I moved here, the mayor told me because of my...status he would have Dr. Malone make an exception for me.”

“I don’t know who—”

This chick was going to be tough to crack. A little charm might go a long way with this one. “Tammy, sweetheart, I know you’re just doing your job, but it would be a huge favor to me personally if you could just check with him, or even let me speak with him. I’ll pay cash. Please?”

There was silence for a moment but then she said, “All right. Let me put you on hold.”

I did a fist pump. Being a celebrity sometimes had its perks. “Thank you.”

Tammy returned to the line and asked, “What’s the address? He can come out during his lunch hour.”

I rattled off my address and thanked her profusely before I hung up. For a fleeting second it crossed my mind that all the women in that office now had my personal information, and I hoped they didn’t plan a visit themselves.

Back in the living room, Lane’s face was pale, and dark circles had formed under her eyes as she watched television.

“Hey,” I greeted as I sat down next to her. “How you feeling?”

“Lousy.”

She attempted to scoot away, but I grabbed her around the waist and slid her back to me. “What are you doing? I can’t get you sick.”

“I don’t care about that.”

She snuggled into my side. “You may not, but your fans will if you can’t make your shows.”

“You’re more important then my shows.” And I meant that. She was my everything. “Dr. Malone will be here around lunchtime to check you out.”

“I guess you do have some pull after all.”

I rubbed her arm and kissed her blazing-hot forehead. “I don’t know why you continue to doubt my mad skills.”

A chuckle turned into a slight cough as she leaned away and reached for the toilet paper roll I had brought her in lieu of tissues. The cough was starting to sound worse. I hoped this doctor hurried up.

After my attempt to get Lane to eat some chicken noodle soup failed, there was a knock on the door. Relief flooded me as I knew this man could help her in way I couldn’t.

On the other side of my door stood a stout guy, who couldn’t have been much taller than five foot. His red hair was thin on top, but still thick on the sides, while his neatly trimmed beard perfectly matched the color of his hair. He kind of reminded me of one of those munchkins from the Wizard of Oz, just slightly bit thinner.

“Dr. Malone?” I questioned since he didn’t have a white coat on or anything, merely a pair of khaki pants and a cheap looking button down shirt.

The man pushed by me and walked into the living room without a word. If he wasn’t my only chance at getting Lane better, I would have tossed him back out the door on his ass for being such a pompous dick.

His beady eyes shifted onto Lane, who sat shaking on the sofa under a blanket. “You the sick girl?”

Lane nodded and licked her dry lips. “Yes, sir.”

For being such a little man, it would appear he could intimidate the shit out of people when he wanted.

“Fever?”

Lane shrugged. “We don’t have a thermometer, but I think so.”

The doctor narrowed his eyes at me. “What kind of person doesn’t keep a thermometer on hand?”

I flinched at his snippy tone. People didn’t usually speak to me that way.

“The kind of person who is very busy.”

He laughed, but it was thick with sarcasm. “Son, don’t tell me about being busy. I’m busy from the time I get up until the time I go to bed seeing patients. Even making house calls to our new resident celebrities because they feel too superior to come down to my clinic, yet I guarantee you I have one at my house.”

My jaw ached as I ground my teeth together to keep from lashing out. Instead I took a deep breath. “I guess I’m slacking then.”

Satisfied with my answer, he sat the small black bag he carried in with him on the coffee table and opened it. He produced the thermometer and cleaned it with an alcohol wipe before placing it under Lane’s arm. Digging deeper into his bag, he retrieved his stethoscope and went to work listening to Lane’s lungs. A couple of seconds later the thermometer beeped, and I attempted to read it over his shoulder before he blocked my view.

“Young lady, your axillary temperature is one hundred point three. That accompanied with the cough and the wheezing and crackles I hear in your lungs tells me you’ve got a nasty infection. I’m going to go ahead and give you some samples of an antibiotic that the pharmaceutical company has graciously supplied my office with for patients. Also here’s a decongestant.”

He pulled two white bottles from his bag and handed them to Lane. “Use the liquid medication every four hours as needed for the cough, and take one pill every twelve hours until they’re all gone, regardless if you feel better. Understand?”

She nodded and he closed his bag. “Good. Now, there’s a matter of payment to discuss.”

Dr. Malone turned towards me expectantly. Right. Money. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the cookie jar from the overhead cabinet above the stainless steel refrigerator. Not the most original place to keep a wad of cash, but it worked.

I counted out five hundred dollars, not really sure what a physician’s time was worth, and handed to the little man on the other side of my counter. “Will this cover it?”

He took the money from my hand and recounted it right in front of me. “It’ll do. Call the office if you need anything else.”

And just as quickly as he had wafted into my home, the good doctor found his way back out.

I watched through the window as he shut himself inside his car and then sped back down the drive.

“He was an odd one, wasn’t he?”

Lane’s voice caught my attention and I immediately went into the kitchen to get her a drink so she could take her medication.

I handed her the glass. “Yeah, not much of a bedside manner.”

“Right? That was exactly what I was thinking,” she said before swallowing down the meds.

It was good to see a smile on her face, even though I knew she still felt miserable. I sat down and then pulled her head down so she could rest it in my lap. My fingers stroked through her soft hair, and we settled in together to watch some movie on television. It wasn’t long before we both were fast asleep.

Chapter 6

After a couple days of tender love and care from me, Lane started to come back around. It was a good thing we’d come to my place when we had. Being sick on the bus was the closest thing to hell I’d ever experienced, so I was happy she didn’t have to suffer through that.

The oven timer chimed, and I removed our extra crispy tater-tots. I really needed to go to the store. Living off frozen food was starting to suck.

“Something smells good,” Lane said as she dried her hair with a green towel, wearing only one of my T-shirts.

I smiled. I loved it when she wore my clothes. “You feel like eating?”

She draped the towel along the back of the kitchen chair and gave me a wicked grin. “I’m really hungry. I’ve been a little deprived lately.”

I swallowed hard and licked my lips. We’d gone without sex for a couple of days now, and the way her eyes raked over my body when she’d slowly said the word hungry told me she’d been missing it too.

After a couple of steps toward her, I tugged her body into mine and both of her arms wrapped snuggly against my waist. The smell of her fruity scented shower products still surrounded her. Instantly my breathing picked up.

I raised an eyebrow. “Feeling better?”

She traced a line from my chest down to my belt buckle. “Much.”

With sure fingers she unzipped my jeans and snaked her hand inside. She grabbed my hard dick and a smirk played on the edges of her lips.

“I’m so buying you underwear for Christmas.”

I laughed. “Don’t count on me wearing them.”

When I leaned down to kiss her lips, she jerked her head back, and a frown filled my face. “Lane, let me kiss you.”

Her brow crinkled. “Noel, you can’t.”

“Don’t worry about that. Like I said, I don’t care if I get sick.”

“But I do. Can’t we just get creative?” Her finger traced my jaw.

My heart thudded against my ribs at what the word creative meant. This could be fun. “What do you have in mind?”

“We shouldn’t be face to face.”

Oh dear God. She was asking me to bend her over and take her from behind. My cock pulsed and it was nearly painful how much I ached to be inside her. She wrapped her hand around me and stroked me a couple of times while she waited on me to respond. I closed my eyes, enjoying her touch, and allowed my mouth to hang open a bit. Both of my hands gripped the hem of her shirt tightly. Simple touches from this girl drove me crazy.

I wrapped my hand around her wrist, stopping her. I needed to slow things down before I exploded all over the inside of my pants.

Lane took the hint and shoved my pants down to my knees.

“I want you inside me.”

Every cell vibrated with need. Without thinking about it, I pushed her shirt up and yanked on her bra, ripping it from her body. I tugged on each side of her panties until they dropped by her feet. I couldn’t get her naked fast enough.

She kicked them off, and I lifted her onto the counter. I dropped to my knees and placed soft kisses from her ankle to her exposed thigh. Her legs fell open for me and she watched me intently. I slid her ass to the edge of the counter and threw her left leg over my shoulder before I licked my way down to her moist heat. The scent of her arousal was nearly enough to make me want to come on the spot. I loved that she was always ready for me.

I took my time licking each of her folds before giving her clit the attention I knew she craved. She whimpered every time I got close, which told me I was doing my job. The anticipation of getting off drove her mad, but I also knew how much better it made the final moment of release when it had to be worked for.

My tongue darted out and drew the figure eight around her sweet spot. Fingers grabbed my hair and urged me in deeper. A quick peek at her face told me she was close. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and she propped herself up with one hand while plucking her nipple with the other.

I circled her opening before ramming a finger inside her.

“God, Noel!” she screamed and locked her ankles behind my head.

She needed to get off badly. I sucked her clit in my mouth, tasting all of her in the process, then flicked it with my tongue as fast as I could.

She sucked in a quick breath and groaned as she came hard against my lips, and her walls clenched greedily at my finger. She let my head go but still writhed with need before me.

I stood up and picked her up from the counter, anxious to be inside her.

“Turn around,” I ordered roughly in her ear, desperately needing a release of my own.

The soft skin of her back pressed against my chest, and it took everything in me not to ram my cock deep inside her ready core. I whipped her shirt over her head and tossed it to the ground, so that I could rub her back and get my hands into her hair. Finally I pushed down until her elbows rested on the counter in front of her. Kneeling behind her, I hiked up her leg so I could lap at her wet folds again. The moment I did that, she pushed back against my tongue, eager for more.

She was so ready for me.

Unable to hold back any longer, I rose up behind her, grabbing the base of my shaft and rubbing it in her juices before guiding it inside her.

“Fuck!”

It came out almost like a growl. It just felt so good, and I couldn’t stop myself from voicing just how amazing she felt, finally wrapped around me.

I gripped her right hip with one hand and her left shoulder with the other as I worked in and out of her a few more times. Soon after she was good and ready I drove deep into her.

The noises that came from her mouth sent a wave of pleasure through me. I loved when she enjoyed something sexually as much as I did.

Close to losing my mind, I lay my chest on her back and reached around her hips with my right hand, fingering her sweet spot. “Come with me.”

“You like it when I do that?” Lane said, her voice full of passion.

Oh my God. “You have no idea how much I fucking love it.”

“Then fuck me harder.”

My eyes widened at the dirty words coming from those sweet lips.

I bit my lip as I pounded into her full force.

“Oh, God!” she screamed as she gripped the counter.

“Ah!”

It was all I could get out before my hot seed spurted inside her tight little body.

Totally spent, I lay gasping as I wrapped my arms around her waist. Every time with this woman was better than the last. We connected on so many levels it was crazy. She truly was my soul mate.

Chapter 7

The rest of the week flew by too damn fast, and Tuesday morning came before I was ready.

Kyle pulled up in the Escalade and honked the horn. Now that we were going back on the bus I was thankful Lane was nearly better.

I carried our luggage outside and stacked it on the porch so Kyle could load it. “Hey, man. Find your way back all right?”

Kyle nodded, tucking his hair behind his ears. “Yeah, it wasn’t too bad.”

Lane came up beside me, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as she said. “I can’t believe we have to go back already.”

I sighed. “Tell me about it. I never get enough time off. Sometimes I feel like running away for a while.”

She leaned her head against me. “That’s a nice dream, but I think your legion of fangirls would track you down if you stayed hidden for too long.”

“If they’re hot, I wouldn’t mind so much,” I teased and she smacked my ass. “Ouch!”

She raised an eyebrow and shot me look that told me she hadn’t found my little joke funny.

I threaded our fingers together. “Come on. Let’s head back to civilization.”

About twenty minutes into our drive, after hearing all about Kyle’s week with Emily, Lane’s cell chirped. She dug into her purse and fished out her phone.

“We finally have service.”

Even though I knew it wasn’t polite or good boyfriend etiquette to peek at her phone, I glanced down at the screen. Ten missed calls flashed before she dialed in the code to listen to her messages.

A distinctly male voice was on the line, and my ears perked up.

Lane twisted her lips as she listened and then after a couple seconds grinned. Why was she smiling? I was trying not to be a jealous dick, but I didn’t like it when another man made her face light up like that. That was my fucking job.

She hung up the phone and stared at me. “That was Striker.”

Both of my hands curled into fists on my lap. “What did he want?”

“To offer me a job,” she said. “Isn’t that great news?”

“No.”

“No? What do you mean, no? This is a great opportunity.”

How could she not see what he was doing? This job wasn’t a goodwill gesture, it was a way to keep her close. That asshole obviously still didn’t get it. Lane was mine and he needed to move the fuck on and quit trying to go after my girl. It wasn’t going to happen for him.

“You can’t work for him.”

Lane’s eyebrows furrowed. “You promised you wouldn’t complain about any job I took. I can’t believe you’re acting like this. I know this isn’t the ideal situation, or Striker the ideal boss, but there’s nothing between him and me.”

A sarcastic laugh slipped from me. “Maybe on your end.”

“Noel...don’t be that way. I need this job.”

I grabbed her hand. “But you don’t need this job. I’ll take care of you.”

She pulled her hand away. “I don’t want to be taken care of. Don’t you understand? I need a life outside of us—some independence. The job Striker’s offering allows me to remain on tour with you and still work. He won’t be around like you think. It’s the best of both worlds.”

I folded my arms across my chest and attempted to listen calmly. “What kind of job?”

She grinned. “It’s putting together an online marketing campaign for a new line of men’s jewelry Striker has designed with a jeweler. It’s a personal project for him.”

I raised my pierced eyebrow. “Men’s jewelry? I knew that British fucker was part fairy.”

Lane laughed and smacked my leg. “Be nice.”

I held up my hands defensively. “What? Just stating the obvious.”

She rolled her eyes at me, and I tugged her body against mine in the seat. “This is serious, Noel.”

I sighed. “I know. I’m sorry, but you have to admit he’s a tool.”

“He’s pretty nice to me.”

“Yeah, because he wants in your panties. But I’ve got news for him. It isn’t happening. Those panties belong to me.”

She gave me a pointed look. “Do they?”

I leaned down and kissed her lips before I worked my way to her ear. “We both know you love screaming my name when you come. So, yeah, they belong to me,” I growled.

Lane blushed fiercely. I knew I was fighting dirty, but when it came to claiming her, there were no rules. She was mine, and I wasn’t above reminding her, or anyone else, of that from time to time.

We pulled into the parking lot a little later, and with the regular crew gathered around it, Big Bertha was a comforting sight. Although I didn’t know the roadies all too well, it was good to see their familiar faces.

Kyle parked the SUV near the back of the bus and hopped out.

“Feel good to be back?” Lane asked as I helped her out.

“Yes and no. I miss the guys, but there’s never enough alone time with you.”

She threw her arms around my neck. “See, then you should be happy about this job.”

My shoulders tensed under her touch. “I’m just not happy about your new boss.”

She traced my chin with her finger. “Nothing will happen between me and Striker. I love you, so quit worrying.”

It was easy to trust Lane, but it was hard to trust that douchebag, Striker. Who knew what his plan was. Everything inside of me told me that this wasn’t about giving Lane a job. She was a beautiful woman, any man would’ve told you that. Something just didn’t add up.

“I could always try to get the Black Falcon account back from Center Stage,” I told her, hoping to change her mind.

She shook her head. “No. They have Aubrey working on it now, and I can’t take that away from her.”

I knew Aubrey was her best friend, and she and Riff kind of had a thing, but her career wasn’t what mattered to me. I guess I was just being a selfish jerk because taking something away from Aubrey to give to Lane was something I would have tried in a heartbeat if she wanted it. But she would kill me if I did that. There didn’t seem to be a way around her taking this new job.

I sighed again and felt utterly defeated. “You won’t be around him much?”

“If ever,” she countered.

“If it makes you happy, then I’ll try my best to be supportive.”

Her lips crushed into mine. “And that is why you’re the best boyfriend in the entire world.”

I grinned and ground my pelvis into hers. “I thought this made me the best.”

She smacked my chest. “You are impossible.”

I laughed. “But you love me.”

The skin on her cheeks was so soft as I cradled her face in my hands. I dipped my head and planted my lips on hers.

“Oh, God! Would you two get a room already?” a voice behind us remarked. “A week of fuck time didn’t get it out of your systems?”

I turned to find Trip grinning like an idiot. “Don’t be a jealous asshole. Someday you’ll find a woman you don’t have to pay.”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny, dickhead. Now come on and get your asses on the bus. We’ve been waiting for twenty minutes on you two so we could head out.”

I nodded to him. “All right, we’re coming. Simmer down, saucy.”

He flipped me off and headed for the bus. I turned back to Lane. “Come on, before he gets his panties in a bunch.”

Once inside, it was good to see nothing had changed. All the guys were present and accounted for. Tyke and Trip busied themselves with restocking the kitchen with supplies, while Riff talked on his cell, a stack of Oreos in front of him. With my girl at my side, everything was right with the world. Everyone that mattered, with the exception of my mom, was here on this bus.

Lane kissed my cheek and I watched her head towards the bedroom to settle in with a huge smile on my face.

Tyke handed me a beer from across the island. “I see that sappy grin. Good break?”

I twisted off the cap. “Don’t hate.”

Tyke held his hands up palms up. “I’m not. It’s just going to be weird around here with both you and Riff settled down and all.”

The liquid in my mouth nearly strangled me. “Riff?” I peered over at my friend sitting at the table wearing a goofy grin while he talked quietly on the phone. “With who?”

Tyke gave me a pointed look. “Lane’s friend, Aubrey. Who else?”

My eyebrows rose. “Really? Wow. I thought they just hooked up?”

He shrugged. “Apparently he spent the entire break with her in New York, and he’s been on the phone with her now for the last hour.”

“Huh.”

I was shocked. My best friend was a totally the bag ’em and leave ’em type. The only person he’d ever had a long-term relationship with was Sophie, and even that had only lasted two months before she claimed to have slept with me. But he’d never acted like he was smitten with her. There must have been something about Aubrey that hooked him. For as long as I had known him, I’d never seen that happen before.

Tyke chugged the rest of his beer and then tossed it in the trash. “Did you hear Attack Jacket dropped off the rest of the tour?”

“What? When did this happen and why am I only just now hearing about this?”

“Try getting a landline out in that no man’s land you live in. We couldn’t get a hold of you.”

“Well, who did the label get to cover?”

Tyke cocked his head. “Who does the label always get to cover?”

Fuck me.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Not that asshole. Now his little scheme to get Lane to work for him was starting to make sense. He’d known he was going to be around her, and planned on using the job as an excuse.

Damn his sneaky ass.

This was so not good. Striker needed to know Lane was off limits. If I slapped a huge carat of commitment on her finger, he sure as hell would take the hint to back the fuck off.

The perfect proposal was just going to have to be skipped. When I got a minute away I was going to buy a ring, and ask her the first chance I got.

Chapter 8

The next night Lane and I were backstage while Embrace the Darkness wrapped up their set. I never had a problem with them opening for us before—not until Striker tried to put the moves on my girl. Now, I was so agitated by it that it was eating me alive.

The crowd loved them, screaming and interacting with the band. Women seemed to go crazy for the longhaired British front man. He got nearly as may panties tossed at him as Riff and I.

“Goodnight, Nashville!” Striker screamed over the microphone before he waved and exited the stage towards us.

The moment his eyes locked on Lane, a grin broke out across his face.

“Lane, it’s good to see you. I’m excited to see what that marketing brain of yours comes up with for the line.”

“Thank you for the opportunity. It’ll look great on my resume,” Lane answered.

“No problem, love.” He smiled at her.

My jaw muscle clenched. I hated when he called her that, and didn’t care if it was part of his British slang. It seemed too personal. And that smile. I was ready to knock it off his face.

As if on cue, Lane’s cell phone rang with her special “Your mother’s calling” ringtone. “I’m sorry. I have to take this.”

She stepped away from us to take the call privately and I watched as Striker’s eyes followed her. My blood boiled beneath my skin.

“I’m on to you.”

He snapped his gaze back to me and smirked. “Oh, yeah? Better be on your bloody toes then, mate.”

My eyes narrowed and I closed the gap between us. “Watch it, fucker. I didn’t get to finish the job last time.”

Striker tipped his head up and stared at me. “It wasn’t quite a fair fight last time. Let’s see you try it when my back isn’t turned.”

Air rushed through my nostrils as I took a huge breath. Adrenaline flowed through my veins. This guy needed ending.

“Hey!” Lane’s voice rang in my ears as she shoved between us. “What’s going on here?”

Striker stepped back. “Ask your boyfriend,” he said before turning and walking away. “Lane, we’ll be in touch.”

She furrowed her brow at me the moment Striker was out of earshot. “What the hell, Noel? You promised.”

She started to storm away, but I caught her arm. “Wait, Lane. I’m sorry, but the things he was saying—”

“Don’t mean a thing! Regardless of his intentions, you need to trust me. Have faith in my love for you.”

My heart pounded in my chest as I dropped her arm and allowed her to walk away. She was right. Relationships were built on trust, and I sure as hell didn’t want mine to crumble just because I was being an overbearing control freak.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I watched her leave.

“Ten minutes, Mr. Falcon,” the stage manager said as he walked by me.

“Okay, yeah,” I answered numbly as a thousand thoughts of how I’d nearly just screwed up my relationship with Lane went through my mind.

The entire set it was hard for me to focus. When, on our fourth song, I screwed up the lyrics, Riff’s gaze whipped in my direction, and he crinkled his brow. Fighting with Lane always fucked with my head. I needed to get my shit together.

The crowd roared as I belted out the chorus of the last song. Sweat dripped down my face and back as I ran to each side of the stage and hyped them up. Their fists pumped in the air to the beat pounded out by Trip. The stage lights beamed down on me as I gripped the mic and sang one last note of Ball Busting Bitch—our biggest hit so far.

The drums got a few more kicks and then silence took over.

“Thank you, Nashville!”

I wiped my face with a white towel and tossed it into the air. It landed about fifteen feet into the crowd and instantly the shoving began. It always puzzled me why people would fight over a towel covered in my sweat.

Riff threw his arm around my neck as I walked off stage. “What’s up, buddy? Want to talk about it?”

Sometimes I hated how he knew when shit was up with me. Riff had always been the guy in the band I went to when things were on my mind, and I could tell him anything, but it was hard to admit hard to admit to him that I was still having woman problems. I was sure he was sick of hearing this from me by now.

Finally I shook my head. “Nah, man it’s cool. Just a little off tonight, you know.”

He dropped his arm from around my shoulders. “Okay, but if you need to talk, you know where to find me.”

“Thanks, but really, I’m cool.”

There was no need to drag him into this mess.

Once he was convinced I was good, he took off. Normally I would have put money on him going off to find some random groupie for the night, but from what I’d heard, Riff seemed to be really into Aubrey. I guess we’d see just how serious he was about Lane’s friend.

After I fought my way through the fans, I told Kyle to take a break for the rest of the evening. I needed to talk things over with Lane, preferably alone.

The bus was quiet. The rest of the guys were still at large, living out the high of being on stage. Sometimes it was tough to work off all of that adrenaline without blowing off a little steam. My go-to relief used to be the arms of random women. But those days were nothing but a distant memory. Ones I would love to forget.

“Lane?” I called down the hall. “Are you in here?”

When she didn’t answer, I panicked. Where could she be? Even though I hated myself for thinking it, the first place or person she might have been with was Striker. She just yelled at me for not trusting her, and here I was letting crazy images of my worst fear cloud my better judgment.

The foxholes were empty. So far, I hadn’t seen another soul on this bus.

The bedroom door was partially closed. With a slightly shaky hand, I pushed it open. There was no sign of her. The bed was still perfectly made, and our luggage was still zipped up tight.

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. When was I ever going to stop fucking up with this girl?

Behind me, the bus door closed with a thud. I whirled around and my gaze landed on Lane. Her green eyes were puffy, like she’d been crying since the last moment I’d seen her. Without thinking about it, I made a beeline for her, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist and burying my face in her dark curls. She sobbed as she threw her arms around my neck and held onto me just as tightly as I held on to her.

“I’m so sorry, Lane. I trust you, I do, but Striker just gets under my skin. The things he was insinuating about you...It’s him I don’t trust, but I need to learn to trust that you’d knee him square in the balls if he tried shit with you.”

She laughed at my lame attempt to be funny while I apologized.

“I’m sorry too. I should always have your back, and I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain yourself. I won’t take the job if bothers you that much.”

I pulled back and cupped her face. “No. Take the job. I’ll try harder to be understanding and trust your judgment.”

“Thank you,” she whispered before I kissed her lips and proceeded to finish making it up to her.

Chapter 9

After Lane went to bed, I spent the better part of the night researching engagement rings. There were tons of really fancy rings but for some reason the simplistic styles spoke to me the most. They were the ones that practically screamed Lane at me. I wanted a very classic two-carat diamond ring set in white gold First thing in the morning, I called the local jeweler and told him exactly what I wanted, and they assured me they could hook me up. After that, I texted Kyle and told him I would need his help distracting Lane. When he asked why, I answered with the truth. If anyone would understand what it was like to really be in love, it was Kyle.

After he agreed to help me, Lane and I headed out with him for a little shopping. She wanted a new pair of sandals, and I had my mission to somehow covertly buy the ring. Sales people were always eager to please.

“It’s nice to feel normal for a change,” Lane said, sitting next to me in the back of the Escalade.

Kyle laughed from the front. “You mean getting chased by hoards of screaming women isn’t normal? After only being here a few weeks, I was starting to believe that was an everyday occurrence.”

“Hang around Black Falcon long enough, and it definitely does become an everyday thing,” she teased.

I rolled my eyes. As much as I didn’t like to admit it, there was truth in their words. It was very difficult to feel normal and not allow the day in and day out fame to go to my head. When the band had taken off, I’d almost felt invincible, like no one could touch me or hurt me. I’d been on top of the world, and everybody wanted me.

Well, not the people I’d really wanted to want me, like Lane...and my own father.

My head slumped against the seat. Every time my thoughts focused on my father my spirits plummeted. Why didn’t he love me? Was having a dream so wrong that you’d wish your only son had never been born?

Well, according to my asshole father, the answer was yes.

The night Lane dumped my ass out on the dock, I’d been a wreck. I’d destroyed my room and smashed my guitar. All of it meant nothing without her. She was my world, even back then, and without her it was a very dark place. Dad had shown no sympathy for me. In fact, he’d even voiced how smart Lane had been to get rid of a loser like me before I ruined her life.

That hurt, but the crushing blow came when he’d said he regretted having me at all. To hear your own parent express pure hatred for you was something you never forget. Lane had broached the subject of making up with my father for my mother’s sake, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

What did I have to apologize for?

“Hey. You okay?” Lane asked, her face etched with concern.

“I’m fine, just tired,” I lied.

I didn’t want Lane or anybody to know how much not having a relationship with my father bothered me. It was better for people to think I hated him versus being the sad, pathetic sap not even a parent could love.

Kyle parked along the street, smack between the jewelry store and the shoe store. It was nearly the perfect set up. Now the trick was going to be getting in and out of there without Lane getting suspicious, or figuring out what I was doing. She hated when I did things that she thought pushed our relationship too fast and she’d kill me if she knew what I was up to.

But regardless, having this ring would show her I meant business.

“This is perfect, Kyle. Thanks,” I said.

He flicked his gaze to the review mirror, and he nodded, understanding my secret code.

I helped Lane out of the SUV when, right on cue, my cell rang. I peered down at the caller ID and frowned.

“I have to take this. You guys go on in. I’ll be there in a minute.”

I kissed Lane’s cheek as Kyle led her into the shoe store. As soon as Lane turned her back I swiped my thumb over the end call button and pressed the phone to my ear. It really was a touch of pure genius when I arranged Kyle to call my cell just outside the store. A phone call was a believable diversion to distract Lane long enough for me to get the ring, without rousing suspicion.

Less than thirty seconds later, I stepped inside the jewelers. The privately owned store was small, but there were amazing looking pieces inside the glass showcases. Each diamond seemed to outshine the next as I made my way down the counter to greet the white-haired salesman at the end.

“Hi.” I cleared my throat. All of the sudden my stomach clenched, and I felt a slight tingle of excitement inside my chest. This was it—the next to last step in getting Lane to agree to marry me.

“Yeah, hi,” I tried again. “I called earlier about holding a ring?”

The older man’s eyes lit up, and his smiled caused deep crinkle lines around his eyes to form. “Ah, yes, Mr. Falcon. I have that piece right here for you.”

He unlocked the safe behind him with a key attached to a bracelet he wore around his wrist. He removed a ring set in a tiny black velvet box and placed it on the glass counter in front of me. As promised, it was the exact ring I had picked out online. The single diamond gleamed against the lights in the shop, and my heart squeezed almost painfully. It was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen. Well, not so much the ring itself, but what it stood for.

Instantly, I saw Lane’s face in my mind. What she would look like when she saw it. The way her mouth would move when she said the one tiny word I longed to hear when I gave it to her.

Yes.

This was the ring. It was like it had been made just for her, and I wanted to be the man who gave it to her.

“I’ll take it,” I told the man as I ripped my wallet from my back pocket.

He nodded curtly and eagerly took the card from my hand, swiping it nearly immediately, before returning with the card and slip for me to sign.

My sloppy signature graced the receipt for ten thousand dollars. Granted it wasn’t the typical million-dollar ring most stars bought when they got engaged, but Lane and I weren’t like everyone else. We were just us, plain and simple. A lot like the ring itself.

“Thank you for your business, Mr. Falcon. I wish the best to you and your love,” the man said as he attempted to place the ring box and paperwork in a bag.

I shook my head. “No bag or paperwork needed.”

The old man shrugged as I slipped the ring box safely into my front pocket before making my way out of the store.

Twenty minutes later, Lane had picked two new pairs of shoes, and we were on our way back to Big Bertha. We were scheduled to leave for the next city on the tour, which I believed was Atlanta, in about an hour. Proposing on the bus wasn’t ideal, neither was in the back of this vehicle with Kyle right up front, but this ring was burning a hole in my pocket. Plus, I couldn’t wait to see it on her finger.

I took her left hand into both of mine as she stared off over my right shoulder at the passing buildings. A cold sweat broke out all over my body. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was it that I could sing in front of thousands of people without so much as a second thought, but I was freaking out over asking my best friend and long-time love to marry me.

Get it together, Noel!

Lane turned toward me and glanced down at my hands clinging to her.

“You okay?”

I nodded a little too enthusiastically. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m great.”

An uneasy laugh escaped her mouth as she studied me intently.

Shit. My mind was blank. Writing songs about love and loss with her in mind, even with my dyslexia, came easy, but phrasing something amazing that would blow her away on the spot was kicking my ass. No words came to mind to describe just how much she meant to me.

She opened her mouth then quickly closed it as her mother’s signature ringtone filled the air. She dug her phone out of her pocket..

“Sorry,” she apologized before answering her phone. “Hi, Mom.”

Never had I been so glad for a couple of minute reprieve in order to get my nerves together and pound this muddled mess in my brain down into something that made sense.

“What?” Lane’s voice kicked up a couple octaves, and she flinched. “What do you mean broke your leg? Oh my God, Mom! Are you okay?”

I held her hand tighter, but not for the same reason as before. Now I was worried. Kathy was like a second mother to me, and I was concerned for her well-being.

“Okay, I’m coming down there. As soon as I get back to the bus, I’ll get packed and book a flight.”

Shit. I settled back in the seat. This wasn’t the time to give her the ring. It was best if I waited a couple days until she came back from helping out her mom.

A couple minutes later we parked next to the bus, and Lane ended her call. “So, Mom took a nasty fall while trying to clear a bird’s nest from the gutter on her house. She broke her right leg in two places and needs surgery.”

“That’s terrible. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, but I will have to go help her for a while. Hopefully Striker will understand that I won’t be around to consult, and he’ll be okay with working with me via email until Mom’s back on her feet.”

I knitted my brow in confusion. I didn’t like the sound of this.

“How long will you be gone?”

Lane frowned, and my stomach dropped. That was the face she wore when she was about to tell me something I didn’t want to hear.

“I don’t know. I guess as long as it takes to get her back on her feet.”

“Any idea how long that will be?”

Her frown deepened. “The surgeon she just saw said it would be six to eight weeks of recovery.”

Six to eight weeks? How the fuck would I make it without her that long?

Shit.

“I’ll go with you. We’ll leave tonight.”

It was the only logical solution I could come up with.

She shook her head. “No, Noel. You can’t. There are a string of shows you’re booked for. Maybe when you get done—”

“No. I can’t be without you.” The thought of not seeing that angel face everyday was a weight that nearly crushed me.

“You aren’t coming with me.”

I flinched. “You don’t want me there?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then what’s the problem?” She wasn’t making any sense.

“I won’t hold you back from your dream. Finish this tour. I’m not going anywhere this time. I promise.”

She was right. A lot of people were counting on us. The roadies and production people didn’t get paid if we didn’t play. I couldn’t be selfish in this situation, even though I really, really wanted to.

“Okay, fine. But can I spend every off day I have with you?”

“I can’t let you spend all that money flying back to see me every spare moment you get.”

“Money isn’t a problem for me, Lane. You know that. All that matters to me is being with you every second I can.”

She sighed and reached her dainty fingers up to touch my face. “Sometimes you seem too good to be real.”

I stared into her green eyes and threaded my fingers into her dark hair.

“Now you know exactly how I feel about you.”

Chapter 10

The bus felt cold without her. I stretched out on the bed and rested my hand on the pillow where her head typically lay. Even though it was still early, and I wasn’t tired, I didn’t feel much like being social. It’d only been a couple hours and I was already losing my shit.

I picked up my cell and checked the time. In about ten minutes her plane would land and I could call to make sure she’d arrived safely. Traveling alone wasn’t something I liked her doing because there were too many crazies out there. Plus, I wouldn’t be there to shield her from them.

A knock on the door startled me from my thoughts.

“Come in.”

Riff pushed the door open and stood in the doorway. “We’re about to start a Halo campaign. You in?”

This felt like old times—the bus rolling down a lonely stretch of highway while we kicked each other’s asses at a war video game. It was the best way, other than sleeping, that we’d found to pass the hours when we were cooped up inside Big Bertha.

But right now I wanted to wallow in my sadness at being without Lane.

“Nah, I’m pretty tired.”

Riff folded his arms across his chest, his crazy Mohawk standing high on the top of his head. “Dude, I know you miss her, but you can’t mope around in this room the entire time she’s gone. It’s not healthy.”

I sighed. “I know, but it’s hard to be without her.”

He nodded. “I know what you mean, but still you have to live, man. She won’t be gone forever.”

That was true. I would see her again in a week when I got a three-day break between shows, but until then, I didn’t see anything wrong with a little depression.

“I get it, but I’m really just tired. It’s been a long day.”

A sarcastic laugh tumbled from his mouth. “Kyle took you shopping all day, how stressful could that be?”

Since he was my best friend, I needed to share with him the real reason the day hadn’t gone as planned, so I fished the ring box from my pocket. “It was kind of a big deal.”

I held it between my thumb and index finger for Riff’s inspection. His eyes widened. “Holy shit! Does she know you have that?”

I shook my head. “Nope. She left before I got a chance to ask her.”

“That’s a huge deal. You sure about this? Don’t you think you should wait a while?”

“No. It’s the right time. It’s something I’ve thought about doing since high school. Plus, that douchebag Striker keeps sniffing around her. What better way to show him she’s off the market?”

Riff took the box and opened it up and let out a low whistle. “Well, don’t rush in because you feel threatened by Striker. She loves you. Any idiot can see that.”

That was what I thought too. Apparently Striker was the only still blind to that fact. “Like I said, it’s not just for his benefit. This is something I want. I want her to know I’m committed to her.”

He handed me back the box. “If you’re sure, then I’m happy for you. Now, get your ass up, and come help me whoop Trip’s ass. I’m not taking no for an answer. I need my wingman.”

A little less heavyhearted, I sat up, tucked the box back in my pocket, and readied myself for some guy time.

An hour and a half into the game my cell rang. I checked the ID and felt a little silly for the sheer amount giddiness that rolled inside me just from seeing Lane’s name. I hoped the guys hadn’t noticed. I’d never hear the end of it.

“Hey.”

“God, I miss you.” It was awesome to hear she was feeling the exact same way I was. “A week is so long.”

“Too long,” I agreed.

“Well, maybe I’ll actually get some work done this week without you here to distract me all the time.”

I laughed. “So glad you’re looking forward to being without me.”

“You know what I mean,” she chided. “It’ll be nice to have my proposal done for Striker this week.”

The name Striker coming from those beautiful lips was just plain wrong.

“Let’s not talk about him.”

“Noel...” The tone of her voice held a warning.

“I’m not jealous or anything. I just don’t like him.” Honesty was the best policy if we were going to talk about any thoughts that revolved around him.

Normally I would never have believed Lane would go for a guy like that, but after that night in the bar, I knew different. It was hard to get the vision of how he’d touched her that night when they’d danced out of my head. I’d snapped when I’d seen that he was about to kiss her. Not only that but she was going to let him. Something in me went crazy, and so I’d attacked him to keep it from happening.

Lane sighed into the phone. “Okay, no more talk about him.”

“Thank you.” I paused. “Have you made it to the hospital yet?”

“I just pulled into the parking lot and wanted to call you before I went inside to tell you that I love you, and I miss you already.”

My heart swelled. “I love you too. Tell your mom I hope she gets back on her feet soon. I want to show her my mad pancake flipping skills.”

She laughed. “Will do.”

After the call ended, somehow I felt better about missing her. It gave me comfort to know I’d be with her soon, and that I could call her anytime I wanted.

The next show was in Orlando, and it was an outdoors. Singing to a sold out crowd of over twenty thousand people always got me amped. It was still surreal at times to think that we had the amount of fans we did. And man, some of them were dedicated.

Backstage I watched as Embrace the Darkness ended their set. It was really starting to get under my skin that Striker and his band were becoming well-known. He seemed to really enjoy muscling in on things that were mine—things that meant the most to me. He sauntered off the stage flashing that cocky grin he wore half the time I saw him.

“Try not to chase the fans off too,” he said as he walked past me.

I narrowed my eyes. “What the fuck is that suppose to mean?”

He spun on his heel to face me. “It means you’re really good at driving things away. Careful, mate, or you’ll drive more than your fans straight to me.”

I closed the gap between us. “Try something with her, fucker. Give me one more reason to beat your ass.”

He laughed. “You don’t scare me, Falcon. I’m just waiting for you to fuck up before I make my move on Lane. She’s too good for you.”

Every muscle in my body shook, and spots clouded my vision. Instinctively my fist drew back, ready to blast Striker in his smug face.

My arm snapped forward, stopping inches from my target. I jerked my arm hard, so caught up in my anger that I hadn’t noticed that Riff had my arm hooked in his.

He dragged me back. “He’s not worth it.”

My nostrils flared and my brain failed to absorb his words. “He needs to stop trying to fuck my girl.”

Striker laughed as he stalked off. My heart hammered hard as every piece of me fought not to tackle him with full force.

Riff shoved me back. “Noel, dude, calm the fuck down. He’s just trying to get to you and you’re letting him. This is exactly what he wants—you to doubt Lane, and drive her straight to him. Don’t let that happen. Lane loves you.”

My chest heaved, my body still in fight mode.

“You’re right.”

I scrubbed my hands down my face and took a deep breath. Striker had found my weakness, and hadn’t wasted any time in taking full advantage of it. Trusting Lane wasn’t the issue, but knowing Striker was set on taking her from me ramped me up even more. Now more than ever, I needed to stake my claim for the world to see.

Chapter 11

After two weeks of being without Lane, I still missed her like crazy. Life just wasn’t the same without her.

I rolled over and picked up my cell before searching out her number. Hearing her voice first thing in the mornings was my new routine, and it was one of the only things that kept me going.

It rang a couple times before Lane’s groggy voice answered. “Hey.”

“Hey, baby. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Oh, no. I was awake.”

My brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m feeling a little sick again,” she answered.

“Are you having the same symptoms as before?” I questioned again.

“I wish.” She sighed. “I’ve been sick to my stomach all morning.”

I rubbed some sleep from my eye. “You’ve been throwing up?”

“Yeah, but thank God I was able to bring Mom home after surgery last night. It would’ve been hell to feel like this at the hospital.”

I sat up in bed and then tossed my legs over the edge. “I’m coming down there.”

“Noel, you have shows to do.”

Even though she couldn’t see me, I shook my head and hopped out of bed. “To hell with the shows, Lane. You need me, I’m coming down.”

My suitcase was out on the bed before I even finished my last sentence.

“I’m fine, really.” She was trying to convince me, but I knew she needed me. Kathy needed help getting around after her surgery, and Lane wouldn’t be much help to her if she wasn’t a hundred percent herself.

“I’m taking the next flight from what ever city we’re closest to.”

“Noel—”

“No more arguing about this, Lane. I want to come. Please don’t fight me.” I threw some clothes in the bag and zipped it up.

“Okay.”

The reluctance in her voice was heavy but I pumped my fist anyway.

“I love you, and I’ll see you soon,” I told her before I ended our call.

I carried my luggage to the front of the bus and dropped it near the steps. Riff and Tyke sat at the table eating breakfast, while Trip stood at the island finishing up a bowl of cereal.

Riff eyeballed it before he turned his gaze on me. “What the fuck is that?”

I shrugged and knew this wasn’t going to go over well with the guys. “I have to go, man.”

“Go where?” Trip asked, wiping milk from his lip after slurping down what was left in his bowl.

“He’s going to Texas to be with Lane,” Riff answered.

“What about the rest of our shows?” Tyke asked with a frown on his face.

“We’ll have to cancel or postpone them, I suppose.” All three of my band mates stared at me like I’d grown a third eye. “Guys, I’m sorry, but she needs me for a week or so. Her mom broke her leg, but now Lane is sick. I have to go help her.”

Riff flexed his jaw muscle, clearly pissed at my decision.

“Fine. If you want to disappoint all the fans because you’re being selfish—”

“Selfish? This is the first time in my life I’m thinking of others.” I met each one of their stares individually. “I love her, guys. I have to be there when she needs me. I would really appreciate a little understanding on this.”

After a couple tense moments of silence, Riff rubbed his chin. “I guess pushing back the dates a couple weeks wouldn’t kill anybody.” Trip and Tyke nodded in agreement. “I’ll work on having them change the dates. It won’t be easy, and will be a total pain in my ass, but I’ll do it. Go take care of things.”

A grin crept up on my face. “Thanks, guys, I owe you one.”

I told our driver to turn off at the next exit before I went back to wake Kyle, who was still fast asleep in his foxhole, to tell him I needed a ride. In just a few short hours, I would see Lane again. The thrill of it excited me more than playing live music to thousands of screaming fans.

Four hours later, I landed in Houston and picked up my rental car. The solitary drive was a nice change. It was very rare nowadays to be completely alone and the silence was welcomed.

When I pulled into the driveway of Lane’s childhood home, old memories of when we were in high school flooded me. I’d pull into this drive and honk my horn, and Lane would come bouncing down the walkway and hop in the passenger seat of my Chevelle. That was back when life was simple.

I knocked on the front door, and Lane answered the door with a huge smile on her face. “Hey!”

She was cheerful. A complete change from when I’d spoken to her on the phone a few hours ago. “Feeling better?”

“Much! I don’t know what was wrong with me this morning. I couldn’t stop throwing up and every smell made me nauseous.”

Alarms were going off like crazy in my head and I grabbed her hand to pull her outside, out of earshot of her mother.

“Do you think you’re pregnant? It’s been nearly four weeks since you saw that little munchkin-looking doctor. It’s possible.”

Lane flinched. “No. I’m on birth control.”

“It’s not uncommon for birth control to fail if someone is on an antibiotic,” I told her.

She tilted her head and crunched her brow. “How would you know that?”

I shrugged and I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. “I read up on pregnancies a lot when I thought I was going to be a father. And you know there’s not much else to do on that bus. A man can only stomach video games so long. So, I thought I would educate myself on babies.”

She dropped her head. “What would we do if that’s why I was sick this morning?”

I tipped her chin up with my index finger so she’d look at me. “We’d get married of course.”

She pulled away. “You can’t marry me because you feel guilty. I’m not Sophie.”

“Hey.” I wrapped my arms around her waist. “What we have is real. Sophie doesn’t even exist on your level. A baby for us wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

She shook her head. “I still wouldn’t want you to ask me solely because of it though. This isn’t the 1800s. We can have a baby and not marry.”

The temptation to dig the ring out of my luggage was overwhelming. If I gave it to her now, she’d never believe I’d had it before there was even a possibility of a baby. After the way I had just jumped to the conclusion right off the bat, she would think I bought it on the way down here because I suspected she was pregnant.

I would just have to wait and plan out a beautiful proposal to make things perfect. She needed to know we could be perfect together, and that my reasons for wanting to get married came straight from the heart.

She lay her head against my chest. “Now curiosity is killing me. Do you mind sitting with Mom while I run to the drugstore to buy a test?”

“Sure.”

A half an hour later, Lane returned from the drugstore with a plastic bag in her hand. While she snuck off to the upstairs bathroom to take the test, I drummed my fingers on the arm of the couch and watched television with her mom. It was hard to believe the balance of my life would be determined by a ten-dollar test.

“Noel!” Lane called from upstairs.

I swallowed hard. “I’ll be right back, Kathy.”

I took the steps two at a time as I raced up to Lane. She waited in the doorway of her room. After she yanked me inside her bedroom, she plopped down on her bed, tears filling her eyes before they rolled down her cheeks.

Dropping to my knees in front of her, I took her hand in mine.

“Whatever it said, it’s going to be okay.”

She sniffed and batted away a couple of tears. “You think a baby bed will fit on that tour bus?”

“Oh my God.”

I wrapped my arms around her waist. It was true, we probably weren’t ready for this, but it didn’t change the fact I was excited about the news.

I bit my lip and pulled back. I took her left hand in mine and peered up at her. “Lane, will you marry me?” The words were out of my mouth before I’d even had a chance to think. As soon as I said them I felt relived, and wondered why I’d held off for so long. We were meant to be together—fate had shown us much with this baby—and Lane has to know that she was it for me.

She shook her head. “No. I told you, I won’t marry you just because of a baby. This is just a decision on a whim for you. I don’t want you to regret asking me, or resent me later in life.” She stood up, leaving me still kneeling on the floor by her bed.

“Where are you going?”

She stopped just short of walking out the door. “I need time to think, and adjust to this news.”

Watching her walk out and shooting down one of the biggest dreams I’d ever had nearly crushed me.

I needed advice and since I couldn’t ask Lane for it, I went to my go-to person. I pulled my cell from my pocket and dialed my mom’s number.

“Hi, honey. How are you?” Mom answered.

“I’m in need of some advice, actually. You got a minute?”

“All the time in the world for you. What’s up?”

I cleared my throat as I stood and walked over to the window. The dock was in perfect view from here. My hand pressed against the warm glass when I saw Lane at the end of it looking out over the lake. It hurt me to know she was sad and hadn’t taken my proposal seriously.

“Noel, you still there?” Mom’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, Mom, I’m here. I need your help. I want to plan the perfect proposal for Lane,” I said.

A giddy laugh echoed through the phone. It had been a long time since I’d heard Mom laugh like that. “I’d be honored to help. What do you have in mind?”

From there I broke into the entire story of how Lane and I had reunited, and how we’d nearly been torn apart by Sophie’s lies. I didn’t have to explain why I loved her so much to Mom. She knew. She’d always known. I remembered how she would tell me how much she liked Lane, and couldn’t wait until the day she officially became part of the family.

The only thing I couldn’t tell her was about the baby. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t feel right telling people before Lane was comfortable about the idea of letting our families know.

“So you’ll help me? Lane is taking Kathy for a follow-up appointment tomorrow, but they won’t be long so we’ll have to work quickly.”

“We’ll decorate the dock and make it the most romantic thing she’s ever seen. After we’re done, there’s no way she won’t take you seriously,” she gushed. “I’ll email you a list of everything you need to buy tomorrow. Just call me when you’re ready for me to come over and help.”

Chapter 12

The dock was quiet, and I knew I only had about three hours or so to pull all this together while Lane took her mother for her appointment at the hospital. I set the boxes and bags down on the wooden planks and went back to retrieve more supplies. The Escalade was crammed full of decorations. Mom’s list was nuts, and had cost me a shit-ton of money, but it would be worth it. It almost felt like Christmas. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Lane’s face when she saw the dock adorned with flowers and soft-glowing candles. She’d know what I was doing the moment she saw it.

Pulling a massive box out the trunk, a voice stopped me dead in my tracks. “Hello, son. Need a hand?”

I swallowed hard at the sound of my father’s voice, and my entire body stiffened in preparation for the argument I knew was coming.

I leaned back with the box in hand. “No, thanks. I’m pretty good at taking care of myself these days.”

My father flinched and a jolt of satisfaction shot through me knowing my words had the possibility of hurting him just as much as his did to me. “Son, please. Can we talk?”

I shook my head and turned to take the box down to the deck. I didn’t have time to do this now. Of all the opportunities he’d had to speak to me over the years, he chose the biggest fucking day of my life?

I set the box down and turned around, nearly colliding with Dad as he set the box he carried down beside mine.

He wasn’t taking the hint to get lost. I folded my arms across my chest and stared at him expectantly. He hadn’t changed too much since the last time I’d seen him, over four years ago. His height matched mine, but his build was slighter. The hair on his head was clean cut, just as I remembered, only now it was salt and pepper versus the dark color I was used to seeing. That was the only sign of aging I saw on him.

Dad shoved his hands on his hips, clearly uncomfortable. “Look, Noel, I know when we last saw each other things ended on a bad note. I said some things...things I should never have said, and I’m sorry.”

I rolled my eyes as a sarcastic laugh that I couldn’t stop escaped my lips. “You’re sorry? For what? Making the mistake of having a son that is only a disappointment to you? Because, really, I got it the first time. I don’t need you to come back and tell me again.”

Dad ran his hand through his hair. It was a trait I’d inherited, both of us doing it when we didn’t know what to say next.

“I was an asshole, and I was angry. I just didn’t want you to throw your life away. But I shouldn’t have said that, and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret saying it.”

Those were the words I had longed to hear him say for four fucking years. I held his unwavering gaze. He meant what he said. I threw my head back and closed my eyes. His apology rang in my ears. “Why now?”

A ragged breath of his filled the silence. “Because I wanted to do it in person. I wanted to make sure you’d hear me out. When your mother told me about your project here today, I figured this was the perfect time to get you alone, and I hoped you’d listen to me.”

I opened my eyes and stared at him, unsure of what to say in return.

“You don’t have to accept my apology. What I said, back then, was harsh and I’ve hated myself everyday for saying it to you.” He took a tentative step towards me. “But I want you to know I didn’t mean it. You’re not a disappointment. If anything, I’m a disappointment to myself.”

Dad was just as hotheaded as I was. That was where I got my temper from. Quick mouths were an undeniable trait in the Falcon gene pool. God knew I’d said so many things I hadn’t meant in my life in the heat of anger. I’d asked for forgiveness from Lane for the very same thing in the past few weeks. It would’ve been totally hypocritical to deny my father the chance to prove he was sorry, wouldn’t it?

I bit my lip and nodded in agreement with my internal thought. Before I could say a word, Dad pulled me into a huge hug, nearly squeezing the life out of me. He must have taken my head gesture as a sign of acceptance.

Initially I stiffened, but once inside his embrace, memories of the last time he’d hugged me flooded my brain. Graduation day—he’d been so proud. Both he and Mom knew what a struggle school had been for me growing up with dyslexia, so to them it was a huge deal that I had made it to that day. That was the last time my father said anything positive to me. He told me he was proud to be my father, which is why, I guess, it stung so much more when he called me a disappointment.

My eyes burned as tears threaten to spill out of them. Dad gripped me tightly one last time before he patting my back and pulling back. I was surprised to find him wiping moisture from his own eyes. I sniffed and batted away a couple of tears of my own.

“I bet we look like a couple of pansies, huh?” he joked. It was his way of lightening mood.

I laughed at his lame attempt to be funny, and it felt good.

“Yeah, we probably do.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and peered down at the boxes by our feet. “I guess we should get busy. Your mom told me about your grand plan for this place tonight. Marriage is a huge commitment. You think you’re finally ready to take the leap with Lanie?”

I nodded confidently and was glad noise filled the empty space between us.

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my entire life.”

Dad smiled and gave my shoulder a manly squeeze. “Guess we’d better get busy then.”

We worked until nearly sundown. For a while, I doubted we would even be able to pull it off, but luckily Mom came over and coordinated the decorations. In he short space of time we had, somehow we had transformed the boat dock into a beautiful floral garden. It was something straight out of a movie, with the archway of fresh flowers and gold and white fabric, tulle, and even more flowers covering every inch of the end of the dock—the spot Lane and I had spent so much time together.

It was only right to ask her here. It brought our lives full circle. This was the site of all our firsts, so asking her to be my wife here fit perfectly.

Mom finished lighting the last candle and I found myself mesmerized by the soft glow. Even as a guy, I could tell this was romantic. I sighed in contentment. Now it was just a matter of getting her out here.

Mom wrapped her tiny arms around my waist as we took in the sight of all of our handy work together. “It looks great, honey. Lanie is going to love this.”

I gazed down at her and pulled her in for a tight hug. “Thanks, Mom. For everything.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” She pulled my head down and kissed my cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”

Dad cleared his throat behind us. “Irene, we’d better go.”

Mom nodded and gave me one last squeeze before letting go. “Will you come by tomorrow? I’d like for all of us to have a family dinner together. Bring Lanie, won’t you? She’s part of this family now, too.”

I laughed. “She hasn’t said yes yet, Ma.”

Mom waved her hands dismissively. “A technicality.”

“We’ll be there.”

“Good.” She smiled, clearly pleased with my answer.

Dad stepped forward and held out his hand. “Good luck, son. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” I agreed.

With that, they both made their way up the path and back toward their house. Building a relationship with Dad wouldn’t happen overnight. We’d have to work on it together. Everything in my life was suddenly starting to feel perfect. I had the woman of my dreams back in my life, a relationship that was finally on the mend with my parents, and a baby on the way.

The last thought might have scared a normal twenty-two year old guy, but not me. Just the thought almost made me giddy. Sure, we weren’t exactly ready for a kid, and the timing wasn’t the greatest, but it was the perfect situation. I loved Lane with every inch of my being, and parenthood was something I couldn’t imagine wanting to share with anyone but her.

A car door slammed shut and I jerked my head towards the house. Lane and her mom must be back from town. My heart squeezed. On one hand I was so excited I felt as though I would burst, but on the other, fear caused my stomach to clench.

What if she said no? Could I survive that?

I raked my fingers through my hair before making my way up the dock.

At the top of the hill, I noticed Lane helping her mother out of the car, and I felt a wave of panic like I’d never felt before. I ran over to the car.

Lane’s eyes widened as I took over the brunt of Kathy’s weight. “Noel! I’ve got this.”

I shook my head vigorously. “Not today you don’t. No lifting. I know that much.”

A scowl filled her beautiful face. I knew she was pissed I was talking like this in front of her mother. If she caught even a whiff of our exchange Kathy would have questions. Lane had said she wanted to wait to tell her Mom about being pregnant after she had an appointment with a physician, but I wasn’t going to let her put herself at risk until she was brave enough to spill the beans. Maybe she was totally fine to help her mom out of the car but, damn it, that was my baby inside the love of my life. Neither of them were getting hurt on my watch.

I grabbed Kathy’s arms and pulled her up to a semi standing position. “Scoot the wheelchair a little closer.” My eyes snapped to Lane as a thought crossed my mind. “You didn’t do this own your own at the hospital, did you?”

Lane shook her head. “No, I pulled up to the emergency room door and asked for someone to bring a wheelchair to help, like you said.”

“Good.” I turned my attention back to her mom. “Okay, Kathy, on three, I’m lowering you into the chair. One. Two. Three.”

Once safely in the chair and with her casted leg carefully positioned, I wheeled her up the ramp and into the house. Lane followed us inside, shutting the door behind her. The sun was just starting to set, leaving the room a little dark. I flipped on the light and then situated the wheelchair between the sofa and chair, directly in front of the television.

“Honey, do you mind getting me a glass of water and handing me the remote?” Kathy asked Lane.

Lane smiled and darted into the kitchen. Kathy cleared her throat the minute she left the room. “Are either of you going to tell me what’s going on?”

I raised my eyebrows and sat down on the floral patterned sofa so I could look her in the eye. “What do you mean?”

She shook her head. “Don’t play dumb with me. I’ve known you far too long for you to try to pull the wool over my eyes—either of you. When were you planning on telling me Lane’s pregnant?”

I swallowed hard. Panic flooded me. I wasn’t ashamed that Lane was carrying my child—hell, I was ready to tell the world—but if I let slip to Kathy before Lane was ready to tell her, I would never hear the end of it. The best plan I could come up with in those few seconds was to act dumb and clueless.

“What?”

Kathy let out a sarcastic laugh just as Lane emerged from the kitchen, glass in hand. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” I answered quickly.

Lane raised an eyebrow at me and twisted her lips. “Nothing, huh? Didn’t sound like nothing to me.”

Desperate to get away from the situation, I stood and took her hand. “Let’s take a walk.”

Lane’s gaze darted between me and her mother. “Okay?”

She knew something was up. I had to get her out of the house so I could tell her that Kathy was on to us. I tugged her toward the front door, but as soon as my hand reached the knob I heard her mom say, “Noel, we’ll talk again later,” and my shoulders tensed. Lane was just like her mom sometimes, relentless, so I knew we’d have to come clean to her tonight. She wouldn’t let it go until we did.

But I couldn’t worry about that right now. Right now, I had bigger things on my mind—like what this beautiful creature would say when I asked her a very, very important question.

Chapter 13

Lane’s tiny hand fit perfectly inside mine and I held on tight to it as I led her around to the back of the house. Nerves inside my skin jittered. What I was about to do hopefully would change both our lives. All I needed was for her to say yes.

“What was that about in there? Did you say something to her?” Lane asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“No. Nothing. But she knows,” I answered.

“Why did you make such a scene at the car?”

I stopped and turned her to face me. “I’m sorry, but I was worried about you. Besides, Kathy’s smart. I’m sure she would’ve picked up on it soon anyhow. She point blank asked me in there when we were going to tell her that you’re pregnant.”

Lane gasped and brought her hand to her mouth. “Oh my God. What are we going to tell her?”

She was starting to freak. I had to reel her back in. I placed both hands on her shoulders and dipped my head, forcing her to look me in the eye.

“Don’t worry. We’re adults. Things are going to be okay. If this would have happened five years ago, yeah, she might have given us some shit. They all would have. But this baby, it’s part me and part you, so our families are going to love it.”

A single tear slipped down her cheek, and I wiped it away with my thumb. “Things will be perfect, Lane. There’s nothing we can’t accomplish together, including raising our child together. Have faith in us.”

She leaned her face into my palm, cupping it. “You really believe that?”

“I do.”

Lane threw her arms around my neck and pressed her tiny body against mine. “I love you.”

“Forever,” I whispered before I pressed my lips to hers.

She frowned when I pulled away and grabbed her hand again. “Where are we going?”

I bit my lip. “There’s something down at the dock I want to show you.”

When we came over the hill, I turned so I could watch Lane’s expression when she saw what we had done earlier. Her eyes trailed down the dock, taking in the sight of the flower arrangements and candles lined up along the edges. The white rose petals sprinkled everywhere was the perfect touch, and I was glad Mom added that in.

“Noel? You did all this?” she asked still not removing her eyes from the scene.

I cleared my throat. “Not totally on my own. I had some help.”

“You did?”

I nodded. “Yep. Mom and Dad.”

Her head whipped towards me. “Frank was here? Did you talk to him?”

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. “Yeah. We’re working on things.”

“That’s fantastic news!” she exclaimed, peering up at me. “I bet that makes your mom happy.”

“And me, too. It’s hard to believe how much I actually missed him. This will be a good thing, especially now.” I placed my free hand on her stomach. “Our kid should know all of his grandparents.”

“Or her grandparents,” Lane corrected.

I laughed. “Or her. Come on. There’s more.”

“More?” The skepticism in her voice was ill disguised.

I led her carefully down the hill and once on the dock, I stooped down at the first arrangement and grabbed a single rose. It was a deep, rich red, and it reminded me of how deep she’d worked her love into my soul. There was no doubt in my mind that our love was eternal.

She smiled as she took it from my outstretched hand. “Oh, Noel. It’s beautiful.”

She put it to her nose and inhaled its luscious scent with her green eyes closed tight.

“Yeah, you are.”

She opened her eyes and grinned at me.

We walked together to the end of the dock where two chairs faced each other surrounded by candlelight. My Gibson guitar leaned against the railing, just waiting for me to carry out my plan. I held my hand out, gesturing for Lane to take a seat.

I sat across from her and picked up my guitar. She opened her mouth to protest, but I held up a finger to cut her off.

“Before you say anything, just hear me out. I’ve had this planned from the moment you came back to me. Our current situation has no effect on my feelings for you, other than making me love you even more. I had no idea it was possible to love someone so much. But I love you, Lane. You are the one for me. The only girl.”

A few soft cords sounded as I strummed the cords to an acoustic version of Only Girl originally by Rihanna but sung in the style of Boyce Avenue because it fit my feelings for Lane perfectly. I sang about how she made me feel like a real man, and that she was the only one who was in control of me. I gazed into her eyes and sang about making her my wife. She placed her fingertips to her lips as her eyes glistened.

The best part of the song was conveying that every moment with her meant everything to me. Singing was the best way I could get out everything I felt. Music spoke to my heart, and I knew from past experience it spoke to hers too.

I bit my lip as my emotions overtook me. The last verse came out, and I stopped strumming the guitar, completely lost in her eyes and the feelings I saw there. My voice softened as I got down on one knee in front of her and lay the guitar on the dock to continue the last chorus.

“You’re the only one who understands.” I took her left hand in mine and kissed each one of her knuckles, lingering on the one above her ring finger the longest. She was truly the only girl in the world for me.

A sniff from her drew my attention. Tears poured from her eyes and, unsure of what those tears meant, my heart pounded in my chest.

“Lanie Vance, I have loved you from the moment I saw you. So many times I’ve dreamed of asking you to be my wife, and I think today is that day. I love you with every inch of me. I’m drawn to your fire and passion, and I don’t think I can ever be without it again. I want you every day for the rest of my life. You and our baby.” I leaned in and kissed her stomach and then my eyes met hers. “You two are my life. I’ve had this ring”—I pulled the princess cut diamond ring from my pocket—“since the day we went shoe shopping with Kyle, before you knew you were pregnant. This had always been my plan. Having a baby doesn’t change how I feel about you. You are my heart, Lane, and you always have been. Will you marry me?”

Her eyes searched my face, and I prayed to God she found whatever answer she was looking for. After what felt like an eternity she nodded, and a huge smile spread across my face.

“Yes. YES!” Her fingers tangled in my hair, and she crushed her lips into mine. “I love you.”

“Yeah?”

I felt tears of exquisite joy slide down my face.

She cried and smiled at the same time. “Yes. I’ve always loved you.”

“I knew you did, even when you fought it.”

She laughed, and I knew we were at the start of something really good.

I told her I loved her too before I wrapping my arms around her waist and kissing the sweet lips of my wife-to-be.

This was it. This was what every up and down in my life had been bringing me to—this time and this moment with Lane.

“And this is just the start of our forever,” I whispered.

Rock the Beginning

(Black Falcon Prequel to Rock the Heart)

by Michelle A. Valentine

Chapter 1

Freshman year...

LANE

So this is it. Freshman year.

I stand in the pristine hallway of Cedar Creek High School next to my best friend Cassandra Lutz as we survey the same faces we see year after year. Nothing in this town ever changes. I was hoping that I would be wowed in high school—dramatically swept off my feet on my first day by a dashing upper-classmen, living the dream of going to the prom as a freshman. Well, at least it’s a big dream of mine.

But sadly, I’m disappointed yet again.

I sigh heavily and lean my back against the red locker and squeeze my books tighter against my chest. I can’t wait to get out of here and run off to a big city where I can make something of myself. I’ve always thought a job in advertising sounded fun. Maybe I’ll try that someday.

“Just once I’d love to have some fresh meat in this place,” Cassandra says pulling her brown hair into a loose bun on the top of her head. “I hate knowing everything about these guys. There’s no mystery. None of them do anything surprising.”

I nod in total agreement. “Where are all the guys I read about in books—the ones that know exactly what to say? The first day of school is practically over and nothing remotely exciting has happened yet.”

The moment the words leave my mouth, a crash against the lockers a few feet to my right draws my attention. I suddenly feel the urge to take back the last thing I said. This is not exactly the kind of excitement I was hoping for.

All the kids in the hallway stop dead in their tracks in unison and stare at the scene playing out before us like a bad teen sitcom. Roger Robertson, the guy we all know as the school bully, grips Wendell McFarland, a kid in my grade, by the collar of his shirt. Roger’s large arms twist as he repositions his wrists in order to get a better grip, while he wears a sickening smile on his red, pimple-covered face. Roger isn’t the kind of guy you want to mess with. His temper is about as red-hot as the flaming color of his hair and we all know he’s been held back to the freshman level three times now. If Roger walks down the hallway, you get out of his way or duck for cover. His reputation of assholeism precedes him.

I instantly feel sorry for Wendell. His tiny, pencil-like frame is no match for the likes of Roger. “Give it up, you fucking pussy.” I flinch as Roger yanks Wendell forward and slams him back even harder. “Don’t make me tell you again. I know your parents are loaded. Cough up the dough.”

Wendell gasps for air as Roger shoves his knuckles into his throat. “I don’t have any money.”

Another slam and Wendell’s glasses slip down the bridge of his nose. “Cough it up you little shit stain.”

My mouth gapes open and my eyes grow wide. It’s painfully hard to watch. Someone has to stop this.

I glance around. Several of my classmates stand frozen. No one is making a move to stop this outright appalling display of human behavior. This makes me sick. What’s wrong with these people? A desperate need to make this stop fills me.

Before I even realize what I’m doing I take a couple quick steps and open my mouth. “Stop it! Leave him alone!”

It’s like a movie when a hush falls over the crowd. I know this isn’t the smartest move, but I just can’t stand by and do nothing. And, okay, I know the odds of me being able to stop Roger physically are about as good as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest, but I can’t idly sit by. I wasn’t raised that way.

Cassandra grabs my arm and whispers harshly, “Are you crazy, Lanie? What are you doing?”

I pull my arm from her grip and frown as I take in the fear in her brown eyes. I straighten my stance. I have to appear brave. “Someone has to stop this, Cass.”

Roger’s gaze darts from me to Wendell. His eyes are so brown they almost appear black and the pure venom in them causes my legs to shake. A deep laugh bursts out of his mouth and holds me in place. “What do we have here? Is this your little girlfriend, four-eyes? Is she here to save you?”

“N-n-no,” Wendell stutters.

No one should be able to get away with treating people like this. “Stop it, Roger!”

Roger flings his gaze at me. “Or what, Shirley Temple? You going to make me?”

I stare down at the pink sundress I’m wearing. While very cute for my first day of school, it doesn’t exactly scream badass. But this guy doesn’t know what I’m capable of, so I can’t let him rattle my nerves. “I might. Now, leave him alone.”

Roger sneers while opening his large hands and makes a show of letting Wendell go. As soon as Wendell is free, he takes off running, without so much as looking back to make sure I’m not the one getting pounded now.

Thanks for the back-up, Wendell.

The bully turns to me and taps his lip. “Happy now, Shirley? I let him go, but it seems we have a small problem.”

I lift my chin as Roger stalks towards me with slow steps, like a tiger stalking its prey. “What’s that?”

“Someone is going to have to pay me. You see, I need money for a new tire and since you chased my little buddy off, I guess that leaves you to pay for it.” He grins at me in a way a serial killer would...right before he murders his victim.

I grip my books tighter and my hands turn clammy. If he comes at me this Geometry book is going to make one hell of a weapon. “Fat chance. I’m not giving you any money.”

He shakes his head as he steps in front of me. “That’s where you’re wrong. Guy, girl...doesn’t matter to me. I’ll still beat you into submission in order to get what I need, and what I need from you is money. You’re going to get that for me. A nice girl like you seems good for it.”

I narrow my eyes. “No, I’m not.”

“Listen, bitch...” Roger slaps the books from my hands and leans in to me like he’s about to attack, but a voice stops him.

“Pick those up.” My neighbor and childhood friend, Noel Falcon pushes his way through the crowd. Once he’s through, he narrows his eyes at Roger, daring him to cross him. “Pick those up, or I swear to God, you’ll pay.”

The guy in front of me takes a step back and smirks as Noel steps between us, using his body to shield me from Roger. At first I’m scared for Noel’s safety, but I soon notice he’s nearly an even match for the guy that’s much older than him.

When did he get so tall and buff?

I guess I never noticed Noel’s muscles before. The way they stretch his black t-shirt, and how broad his shoulders have actually gotten, has somehow slipped past me all summer long. Granted, I haven’t seen him as much as I normally do over the summer. Noel was always busy every time I asked him to come over and go fishing off the dock behind my house like we always did, which was...strange, considering we used to spend all of our time together.

His hair is longer too. The shaggy hair he sported last school year as he got into rock music would probably touch his shoulders now if he didn’t have it pulled back into a low-set ponytail. I admit, he’s looking pretty good.

Roger straightens his shoulders and rocks his neck like a trained fighter before he sets his eyes on Noel. “You’ll walk away if you know what’s good for you. This is between me and Shirley here.”

Noels fingers fold into fists at his side. “I think you got that backwards, fucker. It’s you that needs to beat it. No one messes with Lane. No one.”

“Brave words. You’re going to wish you’d walked away when I gave you the chance after I beat your face in,” Roger sneers.

“I’ll never walk away from Lane. You fuck with her, you fuck with me.” There’s a growl in Noel’s voice I’ve never heard before. It’s low and threatening. I never knew Noel could be so scary, or badass, or...hot.

Oh my God. What am I thinking? Noel isn’t hot. Noel is...Noel, my friend—best friend since kindergarten.

I can’t ponder on that last thought too long because Roger’s laugh pulls me out of that bubble. Without warning Roger draws his arm back, launching it full force towards Noel’s face. Two things happen so quickly that the scream building in my throat doesn’t have time to come out. The first is Noel dodges the blow with ease and the second blasts Roger in the face first while simultaneously pushing me out of harms way.

I fall to the floor just as Roger tackles Noel and they crash to the ground. At first it appears that Roger has the upper hand until Noel uses some quick UFC style movements and turns the tables. Noel flips Roger onto his back and straddles him before gripping a handful of Roger’s shirt in his hand and blasts a right hook into the monster redhead’s face.

My mouth gapes open as the boy I’ve known most of my life defends me like no one else ever has.

A hand grips my shoulder and pulls me up off the floor. “Jesus, Lanie. Are you all right?” Cass asks. “Thank God Noel showed up when he did.”

I’m about to agree with her just as the guys roll around in the hallway again and this time Roger’s in control. Hell. No.

This weird urge to protect Noel comes over me. I fling myself on Roger’s back without thinking about what I would do next. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on tight. Not getting anywhere, I get desperate and grab a handful of red hair and yank as hard as I can. “Get off him!”

I ignore the distinct sound of tennis shoes scuffling on the tiled hallway as I tighten my grip on his hair. There’s no way I’m letting anyone hurt Noel.

I’m pulled back but I refuse to release my hold on Roger. “Young lady, let him go!”

My head snaps in the direction of lanky man with thinning brown hair I recognize as being my English teacher, Mr. Jones. Then it dawns on me. Oh crap! I’m in deep shit. Dad isn’t going to the let the fact that I’m involved in a fight on the first day of school go without some sort of punishment. There’s always the argument I was helping someone else that was getting bullied...even though that someone ran off and would probably be too scared to side with me against Roger. Surely one of these witnesses would attest to the fact this all began over Wendell, and that Roger isn’t the innocent victim here.

I loosen my grip and Roger’s hair falls free from my hands. “Crazy bitch,” Roger mumbles under his breath. “Umph!”

I snicker as Noel brings his knee back down from Roger’s groin, shutting him up completely. Roger falls over, cupping his crotch in the universally recognized, I’ve-just-been-nailed-in-the-balls style.

Noel stands and kicks Roger in the stomach one last time for good measure. “Don’t ever talk to her that way again.”

Mr. Jones sets me on my feet and turns to scolds the boys. “Knock it off and get to the principal’s office.” I turn to head in the opposite direction, thinking I’m in the clear because I’m a girl. “Not so fast. That means you too.”

I stop dead in my tracks and turn slowly on my heel.

Damn. Can’t blame me for trying.

Noel smoothes his hair back, tucking the loose strands behind his ear. He touches his tongue to the corner of his mouth and I notice a small cut on his bottom lip.

I tilt my head as I examine the rest of his face. “Are you okay?”

He shakes his fingers like he’s trying to get rid of the pain from landing a couple punches to Roger’s thick skull. “I’ll be okay. What about you? I can’t believe you had that in you to attack a guy like that. I haven’t seen you go after someone since the third grade over a Barbie.”

I shrug. “I couldn’t let him hurt you.”

Noel’s eyes search my face and he swallows hard just as he takes a step toward me, nearly bumping his chest into mine. “I know exactly how you feel.”

“Y-y-you do?” Where is all this nervous energy coming from? I’ve been in close proximity many times with Noel. Why does this time feel different—like all the air around us is charged?

“I said get to the office,” Mr. Jones raises his voice causing me to jump and Noel wraps his arms around me. “You two need to get to the office while I finish helping Roger up. Don’t make me tell you again.”

Noel salutes the teacher and I giggle at his newfound anti-authority attitude. I pull away from Noel and turn towards the office. Our steps fall in line and he reaches down, threading his fingers through mine.

He’s held my hand before, but never like this. This moment feels like the beginning of something beautiful.

Chapter 2

One Week Later...

LANE

The air is cool for a September night in Texas, but my entire body is warm and alive with excitement. I’ve snuck out of the house many nights before to meet Noel on this dock for a late night swim, but this is different. Things have certainly changed quite a bit over the last week.

Somehow over the summer we’ve gone from best friends to more. We’ve never really discussed this new territory of hand-holding and hugging that we’ve worked our way into, or what it means for us exactly. Maybe the subject will come up tonight.

People at school aren’t surprised, I guess. Everyone knows Noel and I are close, so our new bouts of PDA don’t raise too many eyebrows.

That doesn’t mean we’re ready to make our parents aware that our long-time friendship has blossomed into more though. They’d never let us be along together again.

I tiptoe down the hill to the dock behind my house and allow my eyes to adjust in the moonlight. At the end of the dock, Noel leans against the wood railing with his arms crossed against his chest, waiting for me. I’m not sure what tonight will hold for us, I just know I can’t wait to see what unfolds.

A wide grin stretches across his face the moment our eyes meet. The features on his face are well defined like the new physique he acquired over the summer. His blue eyes shimmer with excitement the moment my feet hit the wood on the dock and my breath catches. Every time I see him now it’s like my heart skips a beat.

I bite my lip and shove my hair behind my ear as Noel reaches his hand out to me. I slide mine into it without hesitation and my stomach flips.

He pulls me into his side. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming.”

I tilt my head. “Of course I was. Have I ever stood you up on this dock before?”

He swallows hard and pinches a lock of my long, brown hair before twirling it around his finger. “No, but things are a little different now, aren’t they?”

I nod and my breathing picks up a notch. “About that...what are we doing?”

Noel’s hand trembles a little as he releases my hair and touches my cheek with his fingertips. “I think it’s pretty clear.”

I know exactly what he’s getting at, but I want to hear him say it. “You think so?”

He stands a little straighter and cups my face in his hands while staring into my eyes. “We’re falling in love and finally giving into what fate has planned for us.”

My heart thuds against my ribs. “Are you saying you love me?”

The grin on his face lights up my entire world. “You know I do. I think I’ve loved you since we were five. I’m just the idiot who didn’t realize how much in love I was until this summer when I found myself getting jealous over any guy I caught looking at you. The feeling that you’re meant to be mine won’t leave me, and I don’t know what to do about it, or if you even feel the same way.”

“Is that why you stayed away all summer?” I ask.

“Yeah. I was hoping it would go away and we could stay friends, but all that went to hell that first day of school when I saw you and you needed help. I knew then I could never be just your friend. I’m always going to want more with you. I feel like you’re my forever or something.”

Emotions from within me take over and tears well in my eyes. “It might’ve taken me a little longer to come to the same conclusion, but I feel exactly the same way.”

Noel’s thumbs trace over my cheeks. “I love you, Lane.”

I smile as a tear falls freely from my eye. “I love you too.”

He leans in and presses his lips to mine. My eyes drift shut and I fall into his kiss—fall into him. This is everything I never knew I always wanted. His lips part and mine move in sync with his until he finally slips his tongue in my mouth. This isn’t my first kiss, but it is the first time I’ve ever felt something kissing a boy. It’s like tasting my future and I can picture my entire life in my mind—a life with Noel.

With more skill than I knew we both possessed, we slide down to the floor of the dock without breaking our kiss. I grip handfuls of his shirt and he teases the skin on my back just under the hem of my blouse. This is moving entirely too fast, but I can’t find a logical reason in my brain to stop the madness. Being so close to Noel feels incredible and I don’t want it to end.

Noel lies back, pulling me on top of him, allowing me to feel the bulge in his jeans against my thigh.

I’m scared as hell, but the way his lips move against the soft skin on my neck makes it a little less intimidating. “We don’t have to go any further than you’re ready for, Lane,” he says, his breath hot and tempting on my flesh.

I press a feather-light kiss on his cheek. “I love you and I’m ready. We aren’t strangers, and I can’t think of one other person I would rather experience all my firsts with.”

Noel tucks my hair behind my ear. “I want to be your only.”

There’s no fighting against that. That kind of magical romance is something all girls dream about. I’m just lucky I’ve found my prince so soon.

“I want you to be my forever,” I tell him before he crushes his mouth to mine and we head into our forever.

Chapter 3

End of Junior Year...

NOEL

The drums pound out the last few beats of the song and I grin as I look at my band mates. “Yeah! I think we finally nailed it!”

Sam, the drummer taps the high-hat with his drumstick. “Finally! It only took us fifteen tries. You have to stop being such a fucking perfectionist, Noel, or we’ll never have enough of our own songs to make a demo. We can’t keep spending more than a month on one song.”

“We need to have our shit together because after graduation next year we need to get on the road and find paying gigs like we talked about,” I answer and then run my fingers down the thread of the guitar.

“We need to play more covers,” Leon says, scratching the back of his shaggy head. “That’s what people want to hear.”

I stare at the two other guys in the band dumfounded. Sam pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and glances toward Leon as they wait on me to say something. Don’t they see that originality is everything in the music business? Labels want bands that are different. We have to stand out and be the best.

I shake my head and smooth my dark hair back into my ponytail. “We’re going to practice our own shit until our fingers bleed. We have to be on point if we want a record deal. Don’t you guys want that?”

Leon shrugs and sets his bass in its case. “We do, but we aren’t obsessed with it the way you are.”

I open my mouth to protest, but Sam cuts me off. “Leon and I have been talking.”

I narrow my eyes. “About what?”

Sam shoves his fingers through his bright-red hair. “We aren’t going with you after graduation.”

I shake my head. Unbelievable. These two jackasses are supposed to be my best friends—the guys who have the same goal as me. “We’ve talked about this!” I throw my head back and growl. “What the fuck, guys? I thought we were taking Thunder Dome on the road as soon as school’s over?”

Leon sighs and his scrawny shoulders slump a bit. “I’m a senior, dude. My mom had me fill out some college applications, and I got into a few, some offered scholarships. I’m heading to Kentucky University next fall on nearly a full ride. I can’t pass that up.”

“Who gives a shit about college, man? We have a great thing going here with this band. We could really be something one day. Don’t you want that?” I argue. Why would anyone pass on the opportunity to become a rock star? Choosing college over that is so fucking lame.

“I know you don’t like it, Noel, but I’m applying to colleges as well. Music will always be there. You should think about going too, and maybe try once we get done with school.” I study the freckles on Sam’s face as he speaks and try not to completely lose my shit.

College will never be an option for me. Never. It takes me five times longer to read something than the rest of the kids in my L.D. class. Having Dyslexia hasn’t been a fucking picnic in high school. Things get so jumbled in my brain and I know there’s no way in hell I could make it through college courses.

I’m so glad Lane and I are on the same page about this.

“Whatever. You guys do whatever you have to do. I’m going on the road as planned as soon as we graduate next year. Lane will travel with me while I play solo shows until I find a band to hook up with.” Both guys look at each other with an expression on their face that almost looks like pity and it makes my blood boil. “You know what, fuck you guys!”

“Noel...” Sam tries to stop me as I unplug my guitar and flip it around to rest against my back. “Don’t be like that, man. We’re just trying to be honest with you. Do you know what the odds are of us actually making it in the music industry? Slim to none. I’m just trying to be realistic. We need to go to college. It’s the sensible thing to do.”

I throw my hands on my hips. “"You know what's sensible? Following your dream when you have the talent and the drive. I know I'm going to make it. It’s okay if you guys don’t believe in me. Lane does, and she’s the only person I need.”

I turn to walk out of Sam’s garage just as Leon says, “You don’t know Lanie as well as you think. Seems to me like you two have different ideas about the future.”

I whirl around. “What’s that supposed to mean? I know my girlfriend—better than she knows herself.”

Leon shrugs indifferently. “Maybe you do, but that doesn’t explain why she was in the guidance counselor’s office getting college applications today. Why do that if she isn’t planning on going?”

I shake my head and storm out the door. “Whatever.”

I rub the back of my neck as I walk towards my black Chevelle and pull the strap from around my neck and lay the guitar along the backseat. Surely Lane would tell me if she had doubts about the plan we’ve had in place since we became official our freshman year? She wouldn’t just leave me hanging. We’re forever, and there’s no way I can spend years without her on the road.

I slam the door once I’m inside and fire up the engine. It roars to life and the only thing on my mind is finding out if Leon’s claim has legs.

A few minutes later I park in Lane’s driveway. This place has been like a second home to me since I was a little kid. I love her parents as if they are my own—another reason why we are perfect for each other.

The white Cape Cod with a red roof, shutters and door fits perfectly into the scenery next to Cedar Creek lake. It looks happy, like Lane. I love living on the water, and someday when I’m a famous rock star I’m going to buy a place on a lake for Lane and I to live in and start a family. She’ll love that.

I knock on the door and step back as Lane’s dad opens the door. He grins the moment he sees me. “Hi, Noel. How are you, son?”

I shove my hands in the pockets of my jeans. “I’m fine, Jim. Is Lane here?”

Jim scratches his dark bearded jaw-line and nods. “She’s down at the dock, fishing, I think. You’re welcome to grab a pole from the garage if you like.”

“Thanks. I think I’ll do that.”

Jim steps out of the house, closing the door behind him, and pulls a set of keys from his pocket. “Let me unlock the man-door for you.”

I follow Jim inside the garage. It’s funny—as a kid I thought he was a huge man, but now at seventeen my height nearly matches his six-foot frame. Time really does change everything.

He hands me a black rod. “She should have bait down there.”

After I thank Lane’s dad, I make my way down the hill to the dock. There’s always a certain level of comfort that falls over me when I come out here. Most of the major events in my life have taken place on this very dock—bonding with Lane, telling her I loved her, and even our first time together has all happened out here. This is most definitely our spot.

I lay my pole down and sneak down to where Lane sits on the edge, dangling her feet over the end. I place my hands over her eyes. “Guess who?”

She grins. “Um, Ryan Reynolds?”

I laugh and kiss her cheek. “Fuck Ryan Reynolds. You’ve got Noel Falcon, and I’m much better.

“I don’t know...” she trails off in a singsong voice.

“That’s it,” I growl and tackle her down to the dock and straddle her.

Lane squeals as I tickle her ribs and kiss her neck. “Stop! You’re going to make me pee.”

I laugh. “Never. Not until you tell me I’m the best.”

She tries to catch her breath. “A little conceited, aren’t we?”

“Only when it comes to you. I know I’m the best man for you.”

She adjusts her back against the wood and I smooth her hair back from her face. “You’ll get no argument from me.”

I grin and lean in and kiss her lips. “That’s good to know.”

As much as I want to take this to the next level I know I can’t. Her parents could be watching us out of their back window and that would be awkward for all of us. I pull back and push myself up so I can sit next to her.

After helping her back up to a sitting position, I grab my pole and begin to poke around in the tackle box for some plastic bait.

“How was band practice?” Lane asks.

I stiffen a bit, that this conversation will probably lead to an argument, and I hate when we fight. “Not good. The guys are both punking out on going on the road after graduation. Looks like it’ll just be me and you.” I cast my line into the water and I notice Lane fidget a bit. The best thing to do is get things out in the open. “Leon has this crazy idea that you don’t want to go either. He’s not right, is he?”

She doesn’t look at me as she cranks her reel. “I want to go with you. You know that. But, I think maybe going to college first is a pretty good idea.”

I roll my eyes. “Not you too. Come on, Lane. We’ve talked about this a million times. Don’t you want freedom? The chance to go on the open road together before we have to face all that grown-up shit that people always bitch about.”

Lane sighs. “It’s not that easy, Noel.”

“Yes it is, Lane. Do you want to be with me or not?”

Her head snaps in my direction. “Of course I do. Why would you even say something like that?”

“Because if you want to be with me, then we have to be together.”

“Then why don’t you enroll in a college with me.”

I shake my head. “You of all people know I can’t do that.”

“I’ll help you.” She places her hand on my thigh. “We can get through school together just like we do everything else.”

“Not college. I’m not cut out for it and I can’t go. Not even for you.” The words leave my mouth and I instantly regret them.

Lane’s face twists. “You’re an asshole.”

She shoves herself up from the dock and takes off, sprinting towards her house.

“Fuck,” I curse myself as I break into a full run to chase her down. She makes it halfway up the hill before I grab her from behind and spin her around in my arms. Her breath is ragged and her olive skin flushes. “I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”

A tear streams down her cheek. “I don’t get you, Noel. Is music so important to you that’d you’d throw everything we have away to get it?”

I shake my head, but I know it would be a difficult choice. “No. You’re all that matters to me.”

“Then show me,” she whispers.

I wipe away her tears with my thumbs before I press my lips to hers. “I will.”

Chapter 4

One Year Later—Graduation Night...

NOEL

There are at least ten parties going on tonight and we’re going to make our rounds, but first, Lane wants me to meet her on the dock for a private celebration. I grin to myself knowing this will be the last night we have to hide in order to have sex. This time tomorrow Lane and I will be out on the open road, making our way with no solid plan, going in whatever direction the music takes us.

I know she has her doubts. She expresses them nearly everyday, but I know she doesn’t really mean them. Once I get her out on the road everything will be fine. I just have to prove it to her that I can make it as a musician. I want her to be proud of me.

She’s already waiting for me at the end of the dock. Her long brown hair falls in waves around her shoulders. The loose strands blow idly in the light breeze coming in off the lake. A tight jean skirt and cream colored shirt accentuates the deep tan she’s already gotten even though it’s only the beginning of summer. My girl is so damn beautiful. I’m a very lucky guy.

Excitement overtakes me and I rush down and scoop her up in my arms, lifting her off the ground. “We did it, babe. Can you believe it?”

She laughs in my arms. “I’m so proud of you, Noel.”

I nuzzle my nose into her hair. “Not as proud as I am of you. You aced every single test they threw at you. You’re a fucking genius. When I become a famous rock star, I’ll pay for your tuition—anywhere you want to go.”

“Noel—”

I cut her off, not allowing her a chance to argue with me. “Anywhere. I won’t take no for an answer.”

Lane frowns. “I can’t let you do that.”

I furrow my brow. “Of course you can. You’ll deserve it. It’ll make the little bit of struggle we have to go through at first totally worth it.”

“Noel—” I cut her off again while I go on about the fancy house and cars I’m going to buy her, and she pushes on my chest.

I frown and set her on her feet. “What’s wrong?”

Her delicate fingers rub her forehead before running through her hair. “I don’t know how to tell you this.”

I trail my hand up the bare skin on her arm and then stop when it reaches a strand of her hair. I wrap it around of my finger suddenly nervous about what she has to say. There’s a slight quiver in her voice, and that’s never a good sign. That only happens to her when she’s nervous, and there’s not one thing she should be nervous to tell me.

I lick my lips. “Whatever it is, just tell me. We’ll get through it together.”

Lane shakes her head. “This time we won’t.”

I take her face in my hands and force her to look into my eyes. “Lane, you’re not making any sense.”

She closes her eyes. “This is so hard.”

I feel her tense under my touch as a tear falls down her face and my heart falls to the pit of my stomach. Lane never cries and it’s something I can’t stand to see. “Please don’t cry. Baby, I’ll fix it. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”

She opens her green eyes and stares at me, her eyes searching my face for answers. “Don’t leave tomorrow.”

I flinch. “The way you just said that makes it sound like I’ll be leaving by my self.”

“You will be if you go,” she whispers.

I shake my head. “No. You promised you were going with me.”

“I can’t go with you, Noel.”

I drop my hands from her face. “What do you mean, you can’t? We talked about this since freshman year.”

“Exactly,” she cries. “We had no clue what we were talking about back then. Things change, Noel. I don’t know why this is such a huge shock to you. I’ve been telling you for the last year that I want to go to college.”

“I didn’t think you were serious. Damn, Lane. Why are you waiting until just now to tell me this? We had a plan.”

“You had a plan. Not me. Not one time have you asked me what I wanted!”

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Yes I have.”

“No. No you haven’t. Have you heard anything I said about going to college and living in a dorm?”

“I heard you. I just didn’t think you were serious.” I sigh. “I can’t believe you’d pick going to college over being with me.”

“That’s the same way I feel every time you pick music over me.”

“I never pick music over you!”

“No? If I won’t go with you, are you going to go anyway?” she challenges.

“Yes! Because that’s been our plan.” I raise my voice, completely frustrated by this blindside. “Music is my fucking life. You know that. It’s all I have.”

“You had me.” Lane bites her plump, bottom lip as forces a cry back. “This is the end for us.”

My heart squeezes so hard in my chest that panic starts setting in. “Please, Lane. Don’t do this.”

She kisses my cheek. “Goodbye, Noel.”

My body turns completely numb as she turns and runs away from me. I should pull it together and go after her and force her to understand and try harder at convincing her to come with me, but I can’t move. The idea that Lanie Vance is no longer mine hits me hard and I drop to my knees, shaking uncontrollably. I fist my hair in my hands and allow myself to cry for the loss of the only girl I’ll ever really love.

––––––––

Rock My Bed

(The Black Falcon Series, #2)

by Michelle A. Valentine

Chapter 1

AUBREY

––––––––

I tip my head back, listening to the beat of the music echoing down the hallway and readjust my backstage pass. This isn’t the piece of cake first assignment for my best friend, Lanie, although I thought it would be. I just hope she isn’t beating the crap out of Noel Falcon on the other side of that red door.

The brick wall is cold against the bare skin on my shoulders as I lean against it. This is such a fucked up mess. If I’d known things would get this heated between Lanie and Noel I might’ve agreed with her that she shouldn’t take Diana Swagger, our boss, up on her offer to head up his children’s literacy campaign. Seeing an ex is never easy. I can’t even imagine what I would do if my ex became a rock-god and I was forced to work with him in order to advance my career.

She’s definitely got her work cut out for her.

A few screams at the end of the hall draw my attention. I stiffen against the wall as my gaze lands on Riff, the lead guitarist of Black Falcon. Women rip open their shirts for him to sign their chests as he moves gracefully among them down the hall. My eyes rake over his body. I can see why women line up to throw themselves at him. He’s really, really sexy.

The hair on his head is perfectly styled into a tall Mohawk that alternates between blond and black chunk stripes, while his wife-beater tank top shows off a vast array of tattoos covering his broad shoulders and impressive forearms. Riff grins as he signs a couple of bare breasts with a silver Sharpie while another fan kisses his cheek. Everything about him emits raw sex appeal, and it’s impossible to tear my gaze away.

I bite my bottom lip just as Riff glances up and notices me. Every instinct in my body advises me to look away because this guy is trouble—the kind I’ve sworn off since the last bad boy I messed around with broke my heart. Guys like him aren’t good news.

He holds my eyes with his for a few seconds and when I don’t break our stare, a slow, cocky smile spreads across his lips.

Oh shit. Why do I have the feeling that look means I’m in for it?

Riff leans over and says something to one of the security guards then claps him on the back before he stalks towards me alone.

Security holds the crazed fans back. The girls behind him continue to scream out Riff’s name as he leaves them standing there still starving for his attention, but he never looks back. His gaze pins me as he heads right for me.

I swallow hard and my heart hammers inside my chest. The moment is surreal. Since getting to know Lanie in college and learning about her connection to Black Falcon, I admit Riff is the one band member that’s always caught my eye. Everything about him that screams naughty sex on a stick, and I can’t believe he’s heading my way.

My knees grow a little weak beneath me as he stops a couple feet in front of me. Riff smirks as his eyes trail over my body unabashedly, lingering a good while on my breasts beneath my form fitting halter-top. “Your tits are amazing.”

I flinch and my mouth drops open. It’s not like I’m dressed like a skank, but this form-fitting halter doesn’t do anything to disguise that I have a large chest. It doesn’t give him the right to be so crude about it. “Excuse me?”

His grin widens as he leans into me and braces himself against the wall with a hand beside my head. “I knew it. Redheads are always feisty, and they never disappoint in the sack.”

Where does he get off? I’m not a prude. I’m down for having all kinds of fun with a random hottie, but just because he’s a fucking rock-star doesn’t give him the right to treat women like random pieces of rump-roast, especially ones like me. I’m not a usable doormat.

Any other pick-up line would’ve given him better shot at getting in my panties. Now, he’s just pissed me off.

“Um, ever heard of personal space?” I place my hand on his chest and give him a gentle shove.

Riff’s hand shoots up and he wraps his fingers around my wrist. “Feisty and brave. I can only imagine what a night with you would be like. I bet you’re a regular wildcat. Here. Take this.” He reaches in his back pocket of his jeans and pulls out a golden piece of paper and slips it into my palm. “Meet me out by our bus. Let me have just one night to fuck you senseless. I guarantee I’ll have you speaking in tongues before the nights through.”

I stare down at the paper, which looks like a pass to an amusement park ride. My fingers crumple the golden ticket in my fist. “What the hell is this?”

He moves his other arm and places his left hand on the other side of my head, effectively pinning me against the wall. Both of his knees bump into mine as he leans into me. I feel my own lips betray me as they part when Riff dips his head low, like he’s about to kiss me. I close my eyes and my chest heaves with anticipation. Damn my stupid body for getting turned on by this beautiful asshole. This is wrong on so many levels, but a rational reason to not allow this to happen doesn’t enter my brain.

The door across the hall startles me as it slams shut, and a very pissed Noel Falcon flees from the room. Riff watches the back of the lead singer of his band storm down the hall, obviously distraught as he grips handfuls of his own hair in his fists.

Riff shifts his gaze back to me. “Use this ticket and come find me. Security will let you through as long as you have it. We aren’t done with this conversation.”

I open my mouth to protest, but he leans in and kisses me so passionately my knees below me nearly give out. The warmth of his tongue gliding over mine causes a tingle in my belly that spreads down between my legs. Riff cups my face in the palms of his hands and gives me a final peck on the lips. “Find me.”

Without another word he pulls away and heads toward the direction of his band-mate. I watch his retreating backside with my mouth gaping open.

What the hell just happened? Did he really just offer to fuck me for sport and then kiss me breathless?

My heart still hammers in my chest as I unclench my fingers and stare down at the golden piece of paper in my hand. That’s one man I need to stay far, far away from. I just know my sanity and my heart depends on it. Good thing this is the last time I’ll ever see him.

I shake my head to wake myself out of the daze Riff just put me in and stare at the door across the hall. The way Noel came tearing out of it tells me Lanie’s little chat with him didn’t go well. Time to do a little damage control.

The door creaks open, and I spot my friend with her head hung low. More than anything I want to comfort her. I know it can’t be easy facing a messy past head-on like she just did. She’s got some big lady balls, I’ll give her that.

I rest my hands on her shoulders. “Did you get your answers?”

Lanie nods, but she doesn’t turn to face me. She sniffs a little, trying to fight back her emotional pain. “Everything I needed to know.”

My heart instantly breaks for her because I can tell she’s not referring to our job. This weekend jaunt hasn’t gone anything like what I imagined.

RIFF

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I chasing down the one person I hate, instead of working on seducing that fine piece of ass back there? Two more seconds and I would’ve had her heading back to the bus where she would’ve been happy to cash in that golden ticket.

What a waste.

I follow Noel out the exit doors into the Texas summer heat and watch as he paces in the parking lot. The cool demeanor he usually sports is gone, replaced by a wild look in his eye as he huffs and growls with his hands on top of his head.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Not that I really care anymore. Anything that’s bothering him, he probably brought on himself.

Noel glances up to the sky and bites his bottom lip like he’s searching for answers from up above. After a couple long moments he shakes his head but still allows his chin to be tilted up. “You ever wished for something so much that when it actually came true you ruined it without even meaning to?”

I scrunched my brow. “I have no clue what the fuck you’re talking about. You’re not using again are you? Babbling like this was always a sign before. You know you shouldn’t be doing that with a baby coming and all. You need to keep your shit together.”

Noel’s eyes meet mine. “You know I don’t touch that shit anymore.”

I cross my arms over my chest. If it weren’t for needing to keep Black Falcon together, I would’ve told him to go fuck himself two months ago when I found out he fucked my girlfriend and got her pregnant.

I actually do hate him for going behind my back. Sophie I expected that kind of shit from. I knew from the jump she and I were never going to be serious. She was merely the chick I kept around for a good fuck when I needed it. Finding a random groupie night after night gets pretty taxing.

But Noel on the other hand, his ass was supposed to be my brother, and I never expected that shit from him. If he stabbed me in the back for a quick piece of ass, what else is he screwing me over with? The moment Sophie told me she was pregnant by him, the trust between us was gone. And so was our friendship.

I stand here now, trying to talk to him out of obligation to the band, nothing more.

Noel rubs his hand over his face and sighs. “Lanie Vance was at our show tonight.”

My eyes widen. “The cold-hearted slut you dedicate Ball Busting Bitch to at every one of our shows?”

He nods. “That’s the one. I never thought I’d see her again, and how the fuck did she end up backstage?”

Things start to click. “Is that who was in there with you when you came flying out? No wonder you were pissed. The one chick that carries your balls around in her purse finally confronts you for calling her ass out in front of thousands of people. Nice.”

I laugh and his face twists. Karma is a bitch named Lanie Vance apparently. Life couldn’t get any fucking sweeter.

Noel glares at me. “That’s not why she came after me.”

“What other reason would she have? You haven’t seen her since high school, right? Keep your wallet in check, dude. Sounds like a gold digger to me,” I say.

He shakes his head. “No. She isn’t like that. Believe it or not she needs me for a job.”

Like that doesn’t sound like a load of shit. “What kind of job?”

“She’s working for Center Stage Marketing. Apparently, I’m her first client.”

“Fuck. That blows. Can’t you just hire someone else to handle your children’s literacy thing so you won’t have to deal with her crazy ass?” This band doesn’t need any more fucking chick drama to come between us.

“That would be the easy thing to do, but the thing of it is, man, she knows me. She knows all about my struggle with dyslexia, and as much as I hate to admit it, she’s actually the best person for the job.”

I stare at this pussy-whipped douchebag in front of me and know exactly what he’s trying to get at. He’s told me all about how this woman was the great love of his life. I know Noel Falcon well enough to know he has a side agenda for keeping her around. God knows he’ll screw anything that walks at the drop of a hat, why not fuck an old flame that crushed you once just to prove you still can. If I was him, that’s what I would do.

I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the thoughts. Who he sleeps around with is none of my concern. It just makes him look like a jackass even more if he starts stringing along this Lanie chick while he knows he’s got another woman knocked up. “Well, good luck with all that.”

“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t. I’m keeping my word to Sophie. I will be there for the baby. Lane coming back into my life won’t change the fact that I’m responsible. I’ll take care of her and stick by her side throughout the pregnancy just like I promised.”

I hold up my hand. “I don’t give a flying fuck what kind of arrangement you and Sophie have worked out. All I know is that neither of you can really stand the other. How you two are delusional enough to think you’ll be able to come together as some sort of cohesive family unit is beyond me. Thoughts like that prove to me how screwed up your concept of family is.”

“You don’t have to understand it—”

“And I don’t have to listen to you talk about it either. Like I told you before, the days of our personal friendship is over. You ruined that when you couldn’t keep your dick out of my girlfriend.”

“I told you I don’t remember sleeping with her. I didn’t do it on purpose, I was drunk. It happened. I’m sorry—”

“Save it. I’ve heard this song and dance from you before, and frankly I’m sick of it. You did it. Man up and admit it. Don’t play the victim card here.”

“God, Riff, are you ever going to accept my apology? I didn’t mean to hurt you, man.”

Hurt me? He has no fucking clue how much it actually takes to hurt me. My life has never been sunshine and rainbows. I learned a long time ago in order to keep heavy shit away you don’t let people in. They can’t hurt you. Things are so much easier when you can keep the caring part of you locked away from the rest of the world. The idea of Noel hurting me is laughable, and it pisses me off that he thinks he has that much influence over me.

“Whatever. I hope she rips your heart out again for fun and I’m there to laugh when she does.” A little harsh I know, but it gets my point across.

Noel flinches as I turn around, not giving him a chance to reply. I trudge toward the security of our bus, Big Bertha, and I whip out my phone to check the time. The night’s still young. I hope that fiery, wild cat doesn’t make me wait too long. I need a good fuck to take my mind off shit.

Chapter 2

AUBREY

A couple days after the concert in Texas, I’m back in my comfortable little cubicle at Center Stage Marketing working away. Sometimes the work as an assistant is a little tedious, but typically, I don’t mind. My new boss, Isaac Walters, and I seem to be hitting it off.

Isaac is an up and coming hotshot at the firm. Even though he’s fairly green to the marketing world, he’s proven that he knows his stuff. Already, he’s landed major accounts that the old bloodhounds around the firm would kill to represent. I can learn a lot from him, and hopefully one day this place will give me a shot to run a few jobs on my own.

I stare at my computer screen. Ever since that crazy-random kiss from Riff, he’s been constantly hoarding every spare minute in my brain. I’ve tried to convince myself that he’s a total jackass and to forget about him, but I can’t.

Stupid body for getting turned on by him.

After a few simple clicks, I pull up a social media site. It feels a little creepy and a slight bit stalkerish, but my curiosity is intense. I type in Zackary Benjamin Oliver, the name behind Riff’s stage persona, and hit search. Two seconds later a few names pop up, but none of them are the man I’m looking for, which disappoints me.

I lean back in my chair and tap my bottom lip. He must only use his nickname on these types of things so his fans can follow him. I try again, only this time typing in Official Riff. The person with the most followers lands at the top of the list. It’s him. I could spot that signature, crazy hair anywhere. His page fills my screen after a few clicks and I study his profile picture. The green in his eyes is striking, and I lean in to study the rest of him. His strong jaw line, prominent nose paired with his kind eyes give him that I’m very approachable vibe, but all the tattoos scream rocker badass, quickly reminding me of his true nature. His plump top lip curls into a slight snarl, almost like he’s growling, while his hands grip his guitar in a suggestive pose.

I bite my bottom lip. Damn it! Why does he have to be so sexy?

If only things had gone better between Lanie and Noel, I wouldn’t have missed out on what I can imagine would have been an amazing one-night stand. All the what-ifs flow through my mind. If he fucked half as good as he kissed, I know it would’ve been mind blowing.

I sigh. Maybe it was for the best I didn’t hook up with him. A night like that would’ve probably ruined me for all other men and it would’ve meant nothing to a man of his stature. I’m sure he sleeps with models, actresses and any other beautiful women he wants. Compared to them I would only be a blip on his radar.

The mouse in my hand hovers over the ‘Friends’ button. I debate on opening a can of worms by connecting with him, but decide to click it anyway because what are the odds that he’ll actually remember me?

The phone on my desk rings. “Yes, Mr. Walters, what can I do for you?”

“Aubrey, can you please come to my office for a quick meeting.”

I start grabbing my tablet and pen as soon as he mentions needing to see me. “Sure, I’ll be right there.”

I shake my head. It’s best if I forget about Riff. As much as I would love to experience a night with a sexy rock star, that’s one pipe dream that will never happen.

My mother is probably right, I need to find a nice respectable man with a good job—a man that’s good for my future. She’s been on me for years to leave the bad boy types alone. They always break my heart, and she’s always been there to pick up the pieces.

I hook my pen into my legal pad and stand up just before an audible ding from my computer attracts my attention.

RIFF

My eyes widen as I spot my redheaded wild cat on my laptop screen. I didn’t think I’d ever see her again after she stood me up the other night, so I’m totally caught off guard when I see her picture pop up as one of my new friends on one of my fan sites.

I click on her photo and it instantly fills my entire screen. She’s just as beautiful as I remember, long auburn hair trailing over her shoulders, complimenting her green eyes and fair skin. She’s the absolute model of fucking perfection—one I’m desperate to bed. Everything I like in a woman she has: sex appeal, and fire. Those things combined are a rare find and my libido drives me to possess it.

This request excites me. It’s another shot—a do over—for me to try to get her. She doesn’t hate me, that’s clear, or she would’ve never sent me a friend request. I minimize her profile picture and click on her personal information section. The name Aubrey Jenson rolls off my tongue as I read her name aloud. I finally have a name to go with the beauty I’ve been dreaming about the past couple of nights.

It says she lives in New York, which throws me off a bit because I met her in Texas. I shrug it off and continue reading about her and then my heart pauses for a beat.

Fuck!

She works for Center Stage Marketing? That’s the same company that Noel’s heartbreaker came down to talk to him about. Holy Hell.

Things start clicking as I think about the few stolen moments with Aubrey in the hallway. Noel flying through the door in a rage after arguing with Lanie flashes before my eyes. My dream girl was there on business, and I treated her like one of my random groupies that was just looking to get laid because of that shirt showing off her tits.

No wonder she stood me up. She’s probably not the type of girl who sleeps with rock stars who ram their tongues down her throat on a whim. This chick is different from the rest. She’s classy, not some hooker that will suck my dick on command.

But then again, she did just search me out. Maybe she’s down for a night of hot, sweaty sex after all.

I chew on my thumb as I debate over what to do. The fact that I want to bang her doesn’t change, but my approach will definitely need to be different. This will take more finesse than I’m used to shelling out in order to get laid.

Knowing that we’ve got a common connection almost ensures that I’ll see her again at some point. And when I do, I want her to be so desperate for me to fuck her, she’ll practically tear off my clothes the minute she lays eyes on me.

Yes. This chick will take some wooing. This will be fun. Girls playing hard-to-get is one of my biggest fucking turn-ons. I love a good challenge and I rarely have that when trying to get laid anymore.

I sigh and start putting a plan of attack in my mind. First things first, I need to gain her trust.

AUBREY

The fact that Isaac’s waiting on me to come into his office to take notes presses into my brain as I plop back down in my seat. A private message from Official Riff just dinged into my inbox within a couple minutes of requesting his online friendship.

My fingers shake a little as I click to open it.

Hello Wild Cat, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the other night...that ticket never expires, just so you know. See you soon.

Riff

I swallow hard at the realization that he remembers me. I don’t know whether to be flattered or scared. He’s sexy as hell, I’ll give him that, and my god, I bet he knows what he’s doing in the bedroom. I love a man that’s forward and goes for what he wants. It’s one of the biggest reasons why I always fall for bad boys. Nice guys just don’t have that edge I need to keep me interested.

My phone rings again, and I glance down at the number.

Shit. Isaac again. He’s probably wondering where the hell I am.

I gather my things and head for his office across the hallway. Luckily for me, my boss typically works with his door shut, so I don’t have to explain why I was sitting in my cubicle with my mouth hanging open staring at a computer screen instead of immediately jumping at the call to come into his office.

I knock once before I hear Isaac call “come in” on the other side of the door.

His office is in perfect order, as always. I never knew a man could be so neat until I met Isaac Walters. He’s hard at work on his computer, typing furiously with his blue eyes narrowed through his glasses. The blond hair on his head lays perfectly in place. His gray suit jacket fits snugly across his broad shoulders. He’s only older than me by a couple years, but he has a refined presence about him that makes him seem so much wiser.

I catch myself staring at him, ogling his chiseled cheekbones and sculpted nose before I shake my head and remind myself that this man is my boss, and a little bit too uptight for my taste. Yes, my boss is model perfect with a little touch of O.C.D. and makes for good eye-candy while I’m at work. This is the type of guy my mother would love for me to bring home, but he’s totally not my style.

“Have a seat, Aubrey. I’ll be right with you,” Isaac says, never tearing his eyes away from his work.

I take my seat across from him and tug down my black skirt as I cross my legs. His ultra-modern black and glass desk gleams from the afternoon sun shining in from the wall of glass windows behind him. There’s nothing better than New York in the summer time. Anything you could possibly want is in this city.

I adjust the yellow legal pad on my lap and click my pen, ready to jot down the list of notes I’m sure he’s about to fire at me.

Once Isaac is satisfied with whatever he’s working on, he turns his chair to face me directly. That’s one thing I’ve learned from him. Direct eye contact lets people know you mean business. It’s hard not to give him one hundred percent of your attention when he turns his gaze in your direction.

He folds his large hands together on his desk and clears his throat. “I was curious how it went this weekend with Black Falcon.”

Oh shit!

This is surprising. We never really make small talk, and it kind of shocks me he’s interested in an account that doesn’t belong to him. Maybe Noel has called Diana and demanded that Lanie be fired, and I’m automatically going down too because of association.

I take a deep breath and internally cringe. “It went okay, I think.”

Isaac nods. “That’s good. So, you think you’re up for working with them a little more then?”

What? “I guess so.”

“Excellent. I’ve been assigned to create the design for the Noel’s children’s literacy campaign, and I’m going to need a lot of help from you on this one since you had a chance to meet with the band and hear Noel’s vision directly.”

My shoulders relax, even though I’m still in shock a little bit. From what Lanie told me, Noel Falcon couldn’t get away from her fast enough. I figured we’d be in some deep shit for losing such a large account for the firm, but from the way Isaac is talking, Black Falcon is still our client.

“Of course, anything you need.”

Isaac leans back in his chair. “It’s funny you say that, because what I actually need from you requires a bit of...discretion.”

“Okay. No problem.”

“I know you’re close to our intern, Lanie Vance, and I’ll need you to obtain some information from her.”

I scrunch my brow, confused on where he’s going with this. “What kind of information?”

“It seems that Noel Falcon is quite smitten with her, and has requested that she alone handle this account for him. Diana smoothed things over with him and led him to believe that was exactly what was going to happen. She even agreed to send Ms. Vance on the road with Black Falcon, at his request, for two weeks to appease him, but naturally we can’t allow an intern who’s still wet behind the ears run a million dollar project.”

Things start to click. “So, you’re going to work on it here, while Noel is left to believe that Lanie’s in charge?”

He smiles. “Precisely.”

“How am I involved in all of this?” I don’t like the way this sounds. It feels an awful lot like he’s asking me to lie to my best friend.

Isaac leans in and rests his elbows on the desk. “You’re going to keep me on the inside track. Get her to tell you things about the band, and then report back to me.”

I swallow hard. “I’m sorry, Isaac, but that feels like a huge betrayal of my best friend’s trust.”

He nods and scoots his chair back and walks around to the front of the desk. His tall frame towers over me as he leans back against his desk while both hands rest on either side of him. “I know this sounds bad, but it’s not exactly what you’re thinking. Diana was going to give this account to someone else until I threw my hat in the ring. I didn’t think it was right to pull the rug out from someone like that, so I figured if I took the account, that since you know her, you could get her ideas. That way, we can still implement some of them...if they’re good. She’ll still get some credit.”

“That seems awfully nice of you, but I can’t help but wonder why you would get involved.”

He shrugs. “Because you work for me, and I would like to keep it that way. If your friend quits because she gets angry over the Black Falcon account, I don’t want her to convince you to quit with her. I like having you around.”

That’s kind of sweet, in a weird twisted way, but I’m not sure why he would go through all the trouble. It’s not like we talk much, other than when we have to for business-related things. This sudden act of chivalry causes me to raise my eyebrows.

“Isaac, even though I love Lanie, I wouldn’t quit my job on a whim. Center Stage has been my dream place to work since my third year of college. I’m glad you put your faith in a new grad and hired me even though I had no experience. No one else would’ve given me a shot like that, so I’m grateful to you for the chance.”

Isaac’s face lights up and his smile brightens. “Good, because I really don’t want you to go anywhere. Matter of fact, I would like to keep you around so I can get to know you better.”

I meet his gaze with my mouth slightly agape. Why am I getting the distinct feeling he’s trying to make a play for me? This is so not good. I can’t get into a relationship with my boss—it could end my career.

Feeling a bit uneasy about the situation, I stand and fight the instant urge to run as fast as I can out of this office. “Okay, well, will there be anything else?”

He pulls his lips into a straight line. “No. That will be all, Aubrey. Please keep me informed of Ms. Vance’s progress on the campaign.”

I nod curtly and flee from his presence.

Shit.

I flop down in my desk chair inside my little cubicle and run my fingers through my hair. How can I tell a man to take his O.C.D. ass and beat it because I’m totally not interested in dating my boss? They certainly never prepare you for this in college. They should teach a When Your Boss Wants to Fuck You: 101.

I punch the spacebar on my keyboard, ready to fire a message of warning out to my best friend, but the message from Riff still sits on my screen.

If I tell Lanie about this, she’ll probably quit and ruin the one shot she has at getting her foot in the door here. Pissing off people as powerful as Diana Swagger is highly inadvisable. She practically runs New York’s advertising world. If she wants to destroy you and make sure you never work in this town again, she will.

Besides all that, going on the road with the man she still loves, even though she denies it, might be the start of a beautiful new relationship for her. One that I can tell even as an outsider isn’t completely over for either one of them.

I stare at Riff’s message, and the thought occurs to me that I cannot only get insider information from Lanie to help her out secretly with the ad, but I may have just won myself a new connection in the form of a sexy, tattooed rocker.

I hit reply and begin to type.

Riff,

I’m amazed and flattered you remember me. It’s nice to know the golden ticket still stands. I am kind of curious as to what it grants me admission to?

Aubrey

I hit send before I have a chance to chicken out. Since my last break up, I swore off the bad boy type, but I can’t help but to still be attracted to them. When I saw my mother over the weekend back in Texas, she went on and on about how at twenty-four she was done with college, settled down with my father, and was ready to start her family. She just can’t understand that I’m not ready to settle down, or feel that I have to.

I’m still young, with my entire life ahead of me. Twenty-four isn’t old by any stretch of the means. What’s wrong with messing around with a guy for fun every now and then? It’s not like this thing between Riff and I will ever turn into a relationship anyway. My mom would have a heart attack if I brought someone like him home to meet her. She would like nothing more than for me to find a nice, boring man like Isaac and pop out a few heathens.

I shudder at the thought. Not that there’s anything wrong with Isaac, but I know me. He would bore me to tears, and the organization issues he has would drive me insane.

I shake my head. The last thing I need to be thinking about right now is men, especially my boss. I’ve got bigger problems than that—namely, how and if I can break the news to Lanie about what’s going on in the dirty underworld of Center Stage Marketing.

Chapter 3

RIFF

It’s been a couple days since I received my Wild Cat’s reply. So many times I’ve stopped myself from answering and telling her to name the time and place so I can fuck her out of my system. I don’t want to seem desperate.

It’s been a long time since I allowed a chick to get under my skin this way. The last time was clear back in high school when I set my sights on the Prom Queen. I didn’t relent in that situation either, not until I had her legs thrown over my shoulders and she screamed about how big my cock was while we were in the back of my Charger.

Sexy women that play hard to get are my downfall.

I lean my head back against the headrest of the captain’s chair while Big Bertha rolls down the road and I fish my phone from my pocket. To hell with trying to resist her allure. It’ll drive me bat shit crazy if I don’t have her soon.

“Who you calling?” Trip, our crazy-ass drummer, flops down in the seat beside mine with a huge bowl of cereal.

I ignore him and open up the social media site on my phone. “Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but I’m not calling anyone.”

Trip readjusts his baseball cap. “Damn, dude, just trying to make some conversation. This place is boring as shit with you and Noel not really talking.”

I raise my pierced eyebrow and shoot him a sideways glance. “That’s not exactly my fault, now is it?”

He takes a huge bite of his cereal and swallows it down before he answers. “Don’t start this shit again. Are you ever going to let this go? You weren’t in love with Sophie. You said that yourself.”

I shake my head and search out Aubrey’s message. “That’s not the fucking point, and you know it. Regardless if I loved her or not, you don’t go behind your friend’s back and fuck his girl. Period. Drunk or not. That’s no excuse.”

Trip nods in agreement. “Yeah, yeah. I get that. And you’re totally right, but you’re going to have to find a way to get past this shit. We’re still a band, and we’re trapped on this tiny fucking bus for far too long to allow this tension to go on. What’s it going to take to fix this?”

I flip my lip ring in and out of my mouth a few times while I reflect on his words. He’s right. Things around here have been tense for the past couple of months. It sucks for everyone because Noel and I have completely zapped away all the fun of being out on the road together. Yeah, it’s partially my fault for bringing a chick on the road with us, but both of them fucking knew better, and I completely blame him.

Her—I couldn’t really give two shits about.

But what Noel did broke our brotherly bond. It’ll be hard to forgive him for that, but Trip’s right. We can’t keep going like this.

“I think I need to learn to let it go, for the sake of the band, and quit being a total fucking dick to him all the time. He’s apologized to me several times—still claims he was too wasted to remember sleeping with her though. It’s hard to let it go. Every time I see him, I think about it.”

“I’ve been friends with you a long time, man. You’ve been through a ton of shit with your family, and I know it’s hard for you to trust people. Hell, if this had been anyone other than Noel, I would’ve helped you beat his ass myself. It was a dick move on his part—he knows that—and now he has to deal with the fucking mess he’s gotten himself into by knocking Sophie up. Be the bigger man, and let it go. It’s what’s best for this band. We’ve worked too damn hard to get here to flush our careers down the toilet over some skanky hoe.” Trip gives me a pointed look and then drinks down the remaining milk in his cereal bowl.

For the guy that’s the goofiest motherfucker in the band, he’s sure making sense out of this fucked up situation.

When he gets up to go to the sink, I open Aubrey’s last message. The thought of exactly what I’ll be willing to give her when she cashes in that ticket makes me smile. It’s nice to think about her and get my mind off all the other shit I’m going through.

Wild Cat,

Why don’t you come use it and find out for yourself? ;) Riff

I press send and then stuff my phone back into my pocket. She’ll either be intrigued or tell me to go to hell. More than likely it’ll be the latter, but that won’t stop me. It’ll only push me harder to get what I want—a night with her tangled up in some sheets.

AUBREY

My phone chirps with a new message as I help Lanie pack her bags to get ready to go on the road with Black Falcon.

“Do you need to get that?” Lanie asks.

I shake my head. “Nah. It’s probably just Mom. I’ll call her back when we’re done.” I fold one of her shirts and stuff it into her suitcase. “Are you excited?”

She sighs and her green eyes drift across the room. “Yes and no. I’m scared more than anything, but at the same time I am grateful for the opportunity to work on such a large account.”

My heart sinks a little. What Diana is doing to her is completely wrong, and as I open my mouth to explain everything to her, she gets another text on her cell. The excitement in her eyes is evident as she reads the message. It’s obviously another one from Noel. That guy has been texting her non-stop since she went on a ‘business dinner’ with him, but she refuses to tell me any details about it, which leads me to believe it was more pleasure than business.

No matter if I think telling her about Diana’s plan is the right thing to do, I can’t rob my friend of the happiness I know she’ll have once she admits to herself that she’s still madly in love with Noel.

After we have her pretty well packed, we get comfy and decide to veg out and watch a movie together. I load up a bowl of my favorite double brownie ice cream and head into the living room just in time to hear Lanie’s cell ring with yet another text message.

She definitely has the most attentive Black Falcon band member chasing her. It’s been days since I’ve heard from Riff, not that I honestly believe that we’ll ever be anything other than pen pals, but I do feel a twinge of jealously at all the attention she’s getting from Noel.

I roll my eyes as she grabs her phone off the coffee table. “Mr. Wonderful, again? You still owe me some juicy details about your dinner date, you know.”

She shakes her head. “A lady never kisses and tells. Besides you already know nothing happened. It was strictly business.”

That’s rich. I wish she would quit kidding herself. I plop down on the couch beside her. “You, missy, are no lady. So, dish.”

She shrugs. “Nothing happened the other night. I swear.”

I fold my legs under my butt, take a bite of my ice cream, deciding I need to force her to try to see the bigger picture here. “Bull. You expect me to believe Noel Falcon makes a romantic date with you and after a couple of hours together nothing happens? He’s texted you at least fifty times over the past few days, and there was no sex involved? I say bull. No man gets that sprung unless he gets a little somethin’-somethin’ if you know what I mean.”

She gives me a pointed look. “Getting romantic with Noel is the last thing on my mind.”

Just as I thought: she’s in complete denial. I lick my spoon and push for a little more details. “So he’s PG-13, huh? That’s kind of disappointing. Not much of a ‘Sex-god’ is he? I figured as much as you talked about him he’d have you out of your panties within the hour.”

“Aubrey!” She smacks my bare leg. “I can’t believe you just called him that.”

“What? A ‘Sex-god’?” I say around my spoon. “I got the name from you. That’s how you always referred to him, but I’m thinkin’ of revoking his title after the boring business date story you just told me.”

She’s quiet for a few minutes, and I fidget in my seat. I know that look on her face. It’s the same look she used to get back in college when she was about ready to drop one of her brilliant ideas on me.

She sighs. “Well, there are other single guys in the band...Why don’t you meet us at a show or something?”

“Are you serious?” My thoughts instantly flick to a second chance with Riff. Sleeping with a bad boy of rock and roll has always been one of my bucket list items, and now that I know he’s interested there’s no way he won’t be down for a night of hot sweaty sex. After all, he’s famous for one-night stands.

“Totally serious. I know how much you wanted to get backstage and meet the guys before, so I figure I kind of owe you.”

I fight the urge to toss my ice cream on the floor and throw my arms around her and go into a total girl hugging and screaming fit of excitement. She really is my best friend.

That last thought causes my heart to twist a little and makes me feel like a complete jerk. Would a best friend keep a huge secret? Isaac is asking a lot from me, but I know deep down, he’s right. Telling her now would only cause her to do something crazy, like walk out on Center Stage Marketing. Lanie’s hot-headed, and when she’s pissed she speaks her mind with no filter.

Before I can struggle anymore with the internal debate, her cell phone rings. Noel’s calling her again. She answers with a sickly sweet tone to her voice and I shake my head with a grin on my face. Fight him my ass, that boy will have her in his bed before the week is up. For a while I sit and listen to how happy she is by merely talking to him and my thoughts are confirmed. I can’t screw this up for her. If she knows the truth, she’ll never go to him and possibly find happiness.

I whisper and tell her we can skip the movie and that I’m heading to bed. She waves me off and continues to talk to Noel. Yep, I give it a week tops before she’s humping him.

I set my bowl on my nightstand as my cell buzzes with a new message. I had nearly given up hope of hearing back from Riff, so I’m caught off guard when I see there’s a new message from him on our private message thread.

I gnaw on my lip as I read his words. Just as I thought, he’s totally down for a one-nighter. Bad boys make the best lovers, and Riff is one that I can’t wait to sample. I pull the ticket he gave me from my nightstand drawer and read the crude words.

One Night with a Rock Star Admit One I shake my head and laugh. It’s clever, really. Handing out tickets like sex with him is a coveted prize. Suddenly, the silly ‘golden ticket’ song from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory rings through my mind. Bad boy Riff has a sense of humor. This could be fun.

Riff,

Tempting...

Aubrey

P.S. What’s up with the Wild Cat name? Do you call all the women you try to bed that?

Aubrey

I hit send and I hope this time it doesn’t take him two days to respond. Five minutes later, another message dings in.

Kitten (since you seem opposed to Wild Cat), You’re my only Wild Cat. I knew from the minute you tried to resist me, that deep down there’s a naughty girl inside you dying to bust out and cash in that ticket. You contacting me only proves my theory. So why don’t you save us both a lot of trouble and name your time and place so we can fuck each other out of our systems.

Name the date.

Riff

I nearly choke on my ice cream as I read his words. Just like when he kissed me backstage, he’s not afraid to go all out and say exactly what he has on his mind. I respect him for that.

I reread his message, and while I agree one hundred percent that we need to get this over with, I don’t want to seem like one of his random sluts that can be used. I do want a little respect from him. If I can keep this little messaging game up for a bit, and make him wait, I’ll stick in his mind. I’m fully prepared to give into his wicked ways when I visit Lanie on the road with the band, but I want to be the girl that blows his mind. The woman, when he looks back, who was most amazing in bed.

Dearest Cocky Riff,

You want me? You have to earn it. It’ll be worth it.

Aubrey

Either he’ll take the challenge or I’ll never hear from him again. Before I have a time to toss my phone on my bed, another message comes in.

Name your terms, Kitten...

I nearly squeal with delight. Game on.

RIFF

Damn it. Only a few messages in and I’ve already let her gain the upper hand. This is so not good. I stare at the message I just sent her and bounce my leg while I wait for the floodgate to be unleashed.

Noel comes out of the back room or as I like to call it his throne room. It kind of pisses me off that because he’s the front man everyone willingly handed him the only bedroom on the bus. See where his fucking privacy got him.

Trip turns around from the kitchen sink and acknowledges our band mate.

“What’s up, man?” Noel says to Trip as he plops down on the bench seat attached to the kitchen table.

Noel slides the opened pack of Oreos that I left on the table away from him. At least he knows not to touch those. Too bad he didn’t realize the same rule applied to the chicks I’m banging. Everyone knows not to touch my fucking cookies or I go ape shit. That’s one thing I don’t share with these assholes. They’d eat every single one if I weren’t such a dick about it.

Noel clears his throat. “I need to have a band meeting.”

I roll my eyes. Leave it to Noel to always be the one to call for a band meeting like there’s a problem with the rest of us. Usually the problem is him, or caused by him. Ever since we dubbed him the band’s leader—none of us wanted the responsibility of making tough decisions for the group—he’s taken it to extremes. Calling band meetings is typically a way he gets to bitch at us for some stupid reason or another.

“Tyke! Get your fruity ass in here!” Trip yelled at his twin who’s still back in his bunk.

“What?” Tyke calls back grumpy.

Tyke writes the majority of the band’s songs, and likes to be left alone most of the time with his ‘thoughts’ so he can concentrate. I know he really just fucking sleeps when he’s in there, using song writing as an excuse for us not to bother him. He probably busts out the songs right before we get in the studio. I’m down with all his tricks.

“Noel wants to have a band meeting. Hurry the fuck up!”

I shake my head. I’ve known Trip and Tyke since junior high school. I know everything about them, and they know everything about me. Sometimes that’s a real pain in the ass when all you want to do is forget your fucking past.

Tyke fumbles out of his foxhole and shoves his blonde hair out of his face. “What the fuck did we do now?”

I laugh.

Noel raises his pierced eyebrow and cuts me a look that tells me he’s not amused by our distaste of his leadership. “Look, guys, there’s going to be a guest staying on the bus with us for the next couple of weeks.”

“Who?” Trip asks.

“An old friend of mine that I’ve hired to run my children’s charity campaign.”

I shake my head. “Hell no! You aren’t bringing another chick on this bus.”

Noel’s gaze flicks to me. “It’s already done. She’ll be meeting up with us in Columbus tomorrow.”

“This is fucking horse shit.” The idea of Noel bringing his ex-girlfriend on this bus so he can have at her for two weeks behind Sophie’s back is sickening. He’s a bigger fucking douchebag than I thought. “Don’t you have any morals at all?”

“I haven’t forgotten my responsibilities, if that’s what you’re referring to.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. All you do is use people!” I seethe.

Noel jumps up from the table and his nostrils flare. “You obviously don’t know a goddamn thing about me. I don’t fucking use people.”

The muscles in my jaw work under my skin. “What the fuck do you call Sophie then, huh? You’re telling me you didn’t use her?”

He runs his fingers through his hair. “How many fucking times can I say I don’t remember sleeping with her? If it happened, it was a one-time thing that meant nothing to me. It’s not like I set out to deliberately hurt you! You think I like fucking fighting with you?”

I shrug. “You seem too. That’s all we ever do is fight over this.”

“That’s because you won’t let it go!” Noel shouts.

“All I know is you knocked Sophie up, and you promised to stick by her through this pregnancy. How’s it going to look when you’re banging your ex on the bus for two weeks?”

He shakes his head. “Lane can’t stand me anymore. She’s only doing this because I backed her into a corner at her job. If she doesn’t come on this bus with me now, she’ll get fired.”

“What do you mean she’ll get fired?” Tyke chimes in.

Noel scratches the back of his neck. He only does that shit when he’s nervous. Whatever he’s about to drop on us isn’t good.

“I kind of promised the owner of Center Stage Marketing rights to all Black Falcon ad campaigns for the band in exchange for giving Lane this opportunity.”

“What!?” Tyke exclaimed in the tone of voice he usually reserves when his brother does something idiotic. “Without consulting us, you made that big of a business decision?”

“There was no time. The owner of the company forced my fucking hand. She threatened to fire Lane because she didn’t disclose that we knew each other. Long story short, if Lane doesn’t come on this bus, she’ll hate me forever. I can’t have that. I hope you guys can understand.” He drops his head.

“I understand plenty,” I say while I stand up. “This further proves you only think with your dick.”

“Riff—”

“Shut the fuck up, Noel. Do whatever you want, ‘cause you know you will anyway.” I don’t give him a chance to say anymore before I storm off and climb into my bunk, slamming the curtain closed.

It’s really nothing against Lanie. I’m sure she’s harmless, and can even be a good insight on Kitten, but I hate that Noel gets his way all the fucking time. Why should that guy get it so good?

The last thought causes my fists to clench. I know I told Trip I would work on forgiving Noel, but the more he does shit like this, the more I want to see fate turn around and kick him square in the balls.

“Riff?” Noel says on the other side of the curtain.

Doesn’t he fucking get it? I huff and roll over to face the wall.

“I’m sorry, man. I know I should’ve talked to you guys first, but I was desperate...” he trails off like he’s waiting on a response from me. When I don’t say anything, he knocks on the wall at the top of my bunk. “Night.”

I let out a sigh after I’m sure he’s gone. Thank god. I hate fighting. That’s all my family ever did and now that I’m an adult I want to stay as far away from bullshit as I can.

I close my eyes and will myself to sleep, but before I drift off, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I flip over onto my back and grin when I see Aubrey’s name.

I only have three simple rules: 1. I determine the time and place 2. You have to make me want you 3. No falling in love

Those are my terms. Take ‘em or leave ‘em.

Aubrey

I chuckle to myself. I give her an open door and that’s the best rules she can come up with? Number one is fine by me as long as she doesn’t make me wait too damn long. The second one’s laughable. She already wants me or she wouldn’t be playing this little game in the first place, and third not falling in love? Is she kidding me? That’s the easiest one on the list. I don’t do love. Period. Not even with my own family. I don’t love them and they don’t love me. This chick has another thing coming if she thinks I’m some sad, sappy asshole. I’m not a guy that can be tamed. Ever.

Chapter 4

AUBREY

I double-check my phone again before tossing it back into my purse under my desk. Riff hasn’t responded yet. He probably thinks I’m completely lame now. I mean, I’ve never claimed to be witty, or someone who’s good with coming up with ideas on a whim, so I panicked a little last night. If I put more thought into what the rules were, maybe they would’ve been better—made this game between us more fun.

It’s not like I can call Lanie up either and tell her all about this. I don’t want her trying to play matchmaker while she’s on that damn bus because I don’t want a relationship with Riff. It’s a good thing I didn’t mention the kiss between Riff and me to her either. I would’ve never heard the end of it about how I let men walk all over me and how I always pick the wrong guy.

Sometimes she sounds like my mother.

I get so tired of hearing what people think is the right thing for me to do with my life and my relationships. People don’t get that I’m not looking for a guy to settle down with. Not really, anyway. I like freedom and being crazy if I feel like it. I like sex. I like slightly kinky sex even more, which is why I think Riff will be down to play a few naughty games if given the opportunity.

I open a new file on my computer and get busy typing up a memo about the Black Falcon charity that Isaac assigned me earlier in the day.

Speak of the devil...

Isaac gives me an easy smile as he strides up to my desk. “Hey, Aubrey. You got a minute?”

I nod as I take in his polished features. The skin on his cheeks appears smooth and soft, with no hint of stubble. He probably takes better care of his skin then I do. I bet he smells pretty great too.

I lean in a little as I stand before him and take a whiff, hoping it’s not obvious. I grab the things off my desk. Yep, there’s definitely some type of woodsy cologne sprayed on him, which is off because nothing about him screams lumberjack.

I follow Isaac into his office, and he shuts us inside once I’m seated. “How have you been?”

One of my eyebrows shoots up on its own accord. This is unusual. “I’m fine, and you?”

He shakes his head as he sits behind his desk. “Not so good. Diana’s breathing down my neck wanting preliminary details for the marketing plan. Did you get any information from Ms. Vance about the vision from the project?”

My lips pull into a tight line. “She just left this morning to meet up with them.”

Isaac sighs. “I was afraid you were going to say that. This project has to get rolling, and since we don’t have any information from Lanie, I have to move on without her input.”

I bite my bottom lower lip. “Do I still have to keep this secret from her?”

He nods. “Think of the damage walking out on a company like Center Stage will do to her career. I know she’s your friend, but the best thing you can do is keep this from her. If she gets upset, she won’t think rationally. Plus, Diana would probably fire me if this got back to Lanie and we lost the Black Falcon account.”

I slump a little in my seat. I hate that he’s right so damn much. Lanie Vance is one of the most hotheaded people I know. I’ve never met someone so willing to fight at the drop of a hat if she knows she’s right or feels she’s being wronged in some way.

I want to tell her, but I think maybe I need to keep this from her while she’s on the road because I don’t want her to go crazy. If she quits, Isaac and I will probably be fired for telling her. This is Diana Swagger’s company and she’s not known for being understanding.

I stare into Isaac’s big blue eyes. There’s concern in them marked by crinkles on the outer edge of them. In the two months that I’ve been here, not once has he shown me any real concern, merely been a friendly coworker.

I sigh. “That’s true. I just hate keeping things from her, especially since she’s my roommate, but I don’t want her to ruin her dream because Diana refuses to have faith in her work abilities.”

Isaac stands, his black suit hugging him in all the right places, and then walks around his desk. I stiffen a little as he gracefully takes the seat beside me. “I’m glad you’re being so reasonable about this. You’re a strong person who cares a great deal for her friend. That’s very attractive in a woman.”

I swallow down the lump in my throat and my pulse quickens. This closeness between us feels very intimate—like we’re entering into new territory. One that will end up with us spending late nights with me bent over his desk if I’m not careful.

I nervously tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear and curse myself for having these thoughts about my boss. I’m sure he’s just being nice and is in no way trying to flirt with me. I’m reading into him sitting next to me all wrong.

My eyes flick to his. “I understand. I promise I won’t mention this to her.”

He smiles, and still holds my gaze. “Thank you.”

I feel his eyes on me as I stand and walk out of the door, hating that I promised to keep this from Lanie.

Back at my desk, I fire up my computer and get to work on a couple projects Isaac gave me for the afternoon. An hour later I’m so totally absorbed in my work, the chirp from my phone causes me to jump a little.

I dig my phone up from my purse and can’t fight back the grin on my face.

Kitten,

I’m down with any rules you want to throw at me as long as the outcome ends up with me and you getting hot, sweaty and naked.

R

A thrill shoots through me. We both have exactly the same thing in mind. I’m so glad he’s not looking for more than sex with me. He’ll make the perfect one last hurrah before I start down my path to becoming a Soccer Mom—one last fling with a bad boy before I start looking out for a man like Isaac who won’t crush my heart.

RIFF

Crowds of women shove against one another in attempts to gain my attention. Cameras flash in my eyes as different arms are thrown around my neck, invading my personal space. I keep moving forward and push my way between them so I can make it up the steps backstage, where their access to me will be cut off.

A brunette yanks down her red t-shirt, effectively stretching out the neckline. “Will you sign me?”

She lowers the shirt enough for me to see a hint of her left nipple. This is her way of saying I can have her if I want. “Sure.”

I hand her Sharpie back and a frown creases into her face when I don’t say another word. I turn away and my eyes land on a fine piece of ass staring in my direction. My mind flashes back to that night in Houston when Kitten was looking at me with the same amount of curiosity. The brunette in cut-off jean shorts has killer legs, and I would love to get them wrapped around me. With any luck, she’ll have that same fire that drew me in with Kitten and I can get over this stupid obsession I have over a girl I don’t even know.

Security holds the mass of female fans behind me back and I lock eyes with Legs McGee. When she catches me staring, I give her my most cocky grin.

“Damn, you’re sexy,” I say as my eyes rake slowly over her body. She has amazing tits. Tits are totally my weak spot on a woman.

Her eyes narrow as I stare at her chest openly. I try to make it very clear to women what I want from them, that way there’s no misunderstanding between us. I don’t do relationships.

She’s glaring at me like she wants to kill me, which only makes me smirk. I love it when they play hard-to-get. I reach into my back pocket and pull out a ticket. She’s earned it, and she’ll make a great distraction. “This golden ticket grants you access into my pants when our set is over. Hold on to it tight and give it to security that guards the buses. They’ll let you through. I only give away one or two of those a night. Consider yourself a lucky lady.”

I stuff the paper into her hand, and she flinches at my touch.

Odd, that’s not the typical reaction I get from a girl.

Leggy Hottie shakes her head and attempts to hand me back the paper. “No thanks.”

“Not interested?” I laugh. She’s hot and funny. “Sweetie, that’s cute, but you don’t have to play hard to get. I know why you’re back here, and I can guarantee there’s no better time to be had than the one you’re going to get with me.”

Time to up the charm factor.

I lick my lips and allow my fingertips to trace the skin on her bare arm.

Suddenly, she slams the ticket into my chest with enough force I actually flinch. “I’m waiting for someone, you asshole. I’m not some random fucking groupie.”

Whoa. I raise my eyebrows. That wasn’t exactly the reaction I had in mind. This girl may not be playing. She actually seems kind of pissed, which makes the challenge of bedding her even more appealing. I allow my typical panty-dropping grin to return to my face as I relax and brush off her harsh words. “You’re feisty. I like that.” I tilt my head and study her. She’s stunning and would’ve made an awesome notch on my belt. “What a shame. We could’ve been pretty awesome together tonight. You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

I step back and allow the piece of paper fall to the ground in case she decides she wants to use it after all. It lands between us by our feet and I wink at her before I turn and walk away.

What are the odds of running into a woman who reminds me a lot of Kitten? I hope I’m not turning into one of those saps that try to make every girl in the world seem like the one girl they really want. That would be pathetic.

I shake my head and roll my eyes at my own thoughts as I continue backstage to get ready for my show. I need to get laid, bad. I’m starting to feel emotions, and I don’t like that shit. Emotions are bad, very bad. I have to get Kitten out of my mind.

After Black Falcon’s set we all hang out with the roadies and the opening act, Embrace the Darkness, backstage. That’s one thing about being a rocker. You’re never alone. There’s always people who adore you and hang on your every word around. Take this chick on my lap for example. All it took for her to come to me was a crook of the finger.

The blonde giggles as I slip my hand into the waist band of her jeans. This one, like most of the others, offered no challenge when I pulled out a golden ticket. She eagerly accepted and offered to drop to her knees and blow me on the spot, which was a little awkward considering we were in a crowd of people.

Some women will do anything. Even though most of the time their willingness is welcomed, lately I haven’t been feeling the whole groupie scene. I’m twenty-six fucking years-old. I should be having the time of my life, but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something missing.

I blame the redheaded vixen that’s gotten her hooks into my head.

Ever since her ass messaged me, all I’ve been thinking about is that kiss and what it’ll be like to fuck the hell out of her. That girl earlier tonight reminded me a lot of Kitten. She would’ve made a good distraction if she hadn’t told me to basically go to hell.

“Can I cash in that ticket now? You’re so fucking hot,” the tipsy blonde says into my ear, taking me away from my thoughts.

I pull back and gaze into her face. She’s attractive with her platinum hair and dark eyes, but she doesn’t have that spark I’m looking for—that thing that’s sometimes in another person that can light you up and remind you that you’re alive. This chick is here for the ride, which is fine, and I’ll happily give her what she craves, but it’ll only be instant gratification for me. That few seconds of bliss that makes me forget about everything else, but the here and now. I’m addicted to forgetting. My life is something I would love to sometimes forget.

She leans in and runs her tongue across my lips. “I want you.”

She’s persistent. I’ll give her that. The quick flicks of her tongue against mine causes my dick to grow hard and strain against my jeans. “Come with me.”

I nearly toss her off my lap before I take her hand and pull her into the next room. It’s a cleaning supply storage closet, but there’s enough room in here to get the job done.

Blondie is eager. She goes right to work on freeing my cock from my jeans. It springs up once she shoves my jeans and boxers down a little. She wraps her fingers around me and gives me a couple quick tugs.

I suck in a quick breath. “Jesus.”

She’s done this before. You don’t get great hand job skills without some practice.

She drops to her knees, but I pull back. “Not without a condom.”

I never let random hookers lick my dick without one. It’s probably not the most pleasant experience for them to basically suck rubber, but I don’t have any sexually transmitted diseases and I would like to fucking keep it that way. I don’t know where the fuck her mouth’s been. I don’t even know her name for fuck’s sake.

I tear the foil package with my teeth, pull the rubber out and then roll it onto my cock.

She runs her tongue up and down my length. “You have a huge cock. I want you to fuck me with it really hard.”

I know this is a further ploy to turn me on, but I hear the same lame ass lines from different chicks every night. I stare down at her as she swirls my dick around her lips, before taking me into her mouth.

She’s slow at first with a nice, steady rhythm, but I know I don’t want to be trapped with her very long, so I grab a handful of her hair and coax her into sucking faster.

I close my eyes and try to forget where I am, and even who I am, focusing only on how good I feel. That’s when I’ll be damned if Kitten doesn’t pop back into my mind. I can see her leaning against the wall where I first spotted her. The feel of her smoking hot body shoved against mine, and the little moan she let slip into my mouth when I kissed her plays in my thoughts. Suddenly, I imagine us naked against that wall, with me driving my cock balls-deep into her.

“Fuck!” A tingle takes over my entire body and I clench every muscle in my body as I come hard.

A couple shudders ripple through me as I untangle my hand from the blonde’s hair.

“Can you go again? I didn’t get anything out of this,” she whines.

I shrug. “Better luck next time, sweetie. I’m done with you, so you can go ahead and go.” I nod towards the door.

She stands with a scowl on her face. “Fuck you!”

I shake my head, but refuse to make eye contact because I’m actually kind of embarrassed. I didn’t mean to lose my shit so fast, but I have to play it off. No one wants to be thought of as a one-minute man. “No thanks. It was hard enough coming for you the first time. Now leave.”

“Asshole!” she shouts before she slams the door, leaving me alone finally.

Fuck. I rub my forehead. What the fuck is wrong with me? I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind.

Exhausted from the mind-fuck I just went through, I drag my ass inside of Big Bertha, ready to pass out. When I reach the top step, the sight in my kitchen stops me dead in my tracks. Bending over going through our cabinets is the hot brunette with nice tits and legs. Her presence is surprising considering her reaction to the ticket when I gave it to her. She must’ve decided to use it after all. There’s no other way she could’ve gotten on this bus.

“I knew you’d be here,” I say and she stands instantly and stiffens. “The ladies never turn down the golden ticket.”

I grin as I balance my weight against the top cabinet and peer down at her. Her eyes rake over my shirtless chest, lingering a couple seconds too long on my tattoos and nipple piercings to hide her interest. I flick my lip ring between my teeth a couple times and she attempts hide some of the bare skin on those sexy legs by tugging at her shorts. A slow grin pulls across my face as I inspect every curve on her voluptuous body. She shakes her head vigorously as I pull my arm down and take a step towards her.

She holds out a shaky palm up. “Stop right there.”

I reach for her hand, craving contact with someone real, but she snatches it away from my grasp. “Baby, I told you. No need to play hard to get. I won’t tell anyone that you fucked me.”

Her eyes widen like she can’t believe I would say such a thing to her. This only excites me more. “You’re really full of yourself, you know that?”

I smirk. She’s one hell of an actress. “Only when it comes to women.”

She rolls her eyes. “I hate to be the one to break it to you, but not every woman on the planet is willing to sleep with you, Riff.”

“Maybe.” I shrug. “But I can tell that you want me.” I take another step towards her and she backs away, trying to put distance between us. She bumps against the cabinets behind her and I close in.

She shoves her tiny hand into my chest and shakes her head again. “No, I don’t want you. I’m here with—”

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.” I try and sooth her while I stroke the soft skin on her shoulder. I want her to show me she wants me. No more games. Time to be real. “No more talking.”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Riff?” Noel growls from the hallway, wearing a low-slung towel around his hips, while water beads speckle his chest. Oh shit. Is this his piece of imported ass? How the hell did he get so fucking lucky?

I pull my hands off the woman and gaze into her eyes. Now I know why he’s so crazy over her. She’s hot, but what makes her even better is she’s Noel’s one big heartbreak. “You’re Lanie?”

She nods and glances at Noel. “I’ve tried to tell you. I told you I was with someone when you first tried to shove that ticket thing in my hand.”

Noel’s eyes narrow at me. “You gave her one of your fucking golden tickets? I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Noel’s face twists with rage and he lunges for me, but I’m quick enough to avoid him and shove his hands away. I don’t know why he thinks he owns this chick. She left him, and obviously we have no guy code between us, so as far as I’m concerned she’s fair game. Matter of fact, I love the idea of paying him back by sleeping with his girl.

Lanie throws her hands against Noel’s chest. “It’s okay. Let it go. He made a mistake.” She looks over at me like she wants me to apologize to defuse the situation. She has no idea that isn’t going to fucking happen. “Right?”

I stare Noel down. If he thinks he’s scaring me off right now, he’s got another fucking thing coming. To drive it home, with as much sarcasm as I can muster, I say, “Yeah, we wouldn’t want to accidentally steal each other’s woman, would we?”

Lanie flinches at my tone. I’m sure she has no clue what’s gone down between us. As much as I would like to spill the beans, and tell her all about the secret I’m sure Noel’s hiding from her, I keep my mouth shut. He’ll eventually hang himself.

The muscle in Noel’s jaw clenches. “You stay away from her. Or so help me God, Riff, I will end you.”

It takes everything in me not to laugh in his face. He may be sporting a look of pure malice, but that shit doesn’t intimidate me. He and I both know we’re pretty evenly matched. If he comes at me he better be ready for a fight.

Noel and I continue to stare each other down, neither of us ready to be the first one to back down. Lanie being here ups the stakes between us, and he knows that. He knows I can pull chicks and this girl already hates him, so snagging her away will make a fun game. He just added fuel to our never-ending feuding fire.

Lanie pulls on Noel’s arm and he tilts his head down and gazes at her. “Come on, Noel. I want to show you something.” She grabs his hand when he doesn’t immediately respond. She obviously doesn’t want us to come to blows and she’s doing her best to diffuse the situation.

Noel stares at me, like he’s daring me to let everything out—to tell Lanie his secret and ruin his chance getting her back.

Finally, after he sees I’m not going to say another word, Noel nods and follows Lanie down the hallway, leaving me alone in the front of the bus.

I lean back against the cabinet and sigh. Jesus can my life get anymore fucked up?

My cell buzzes in my pocket and fish it out to read the message.

Riff,

Hot, sweaty and naked? Really? That’s the best line you got? I expected more from one of the world’s biggest players? I guess I can cross ‘has suave game’ off the list of your qualities. I can’t believe women respond to that lameness.

You want to bed me? Impress me.

Aubrey

I laugh and shake my head. Kitten is really headstrong. What I wouldn’t give for her to be here right now so I can show her how well lines like that can work when whispered into a horny woman’s ear. I bet I would even forget my own name when I’m with her. She’s exactly the distraction I need.

Chapter 5

AUBREY

I close myself inside the car and direct the driver to take me to LaGuardia airport. The tiny shoebox apartment I share with Lanie seems so much bigger now that she’s away. Not in the good way either—more like the lonely-you’re-all-by-yourself way. It’s sort of depressing, so I’m glad to be out of it for a few days.

It’s only been a few days since Lanie left to tour with Noel, and sadly the only company I’ve really had was my co-workers and sporadic messages from Riff.

I pull out my phone and reread the last message he sent me.

Kitten,

On the road again. This bus ride would be a lot more fun with you here. Please name the date when we can hook up. I’ll fly you out to wherever I am. Say the word. The wait is driving me crazy.

R

I smile. I like the idea that it’s me that’s driving him crazy and he’s so desperate to have me he’ll come to me wherever I am. It’s odd how connected I feel to him through this little message exchange we’ve been having even though I really don’t know him at all. Even though I know he’s a bad boy heart breaker type, he makes me feel special—wanted. What girl wouldn’t love that?

My fingers itch to tap out my reply and let him know that my best friend has arranged for me to meet up with her and the rest of the band today. It’s only for a long weekend, and once I told Isaac where I was going he practically shoved me out the office door to leave as quickly as possible. Hopefully, Riff would be excited to know our agreed upon one-night-stand was going to take place sooner rather than later.

The flight passes by fairly quickly. I couldn’t sleep. My excitement level won’t let me, but I know I should. Something tells me tonight will be a rather long one with Riff.

I hail a cab and quickly shut myself inside and give him my destination. My pulse races under my skin as we make our way down the freeway. I can’t believe I’ll be meeting up with one of the world’s hottest rock bands soon and possibly sleeping with one of its members.

Crazy.

The parking lot behind American Airlines Center concert hall is filled with a group of crazed fans hoping to catch a glimpse of the men of Black Falcon.

The cabbie stops the car near the gate that's clearly marked 'authorized personnel only' and turns to me. "That'll be forty-seven fifty." I pass my money up through the slot and let the wave of excitement pass through me as I instruct him to keep the change. I can't believe I'm actually here and am about to follow through on a commitment of a one-night stand with Riff. I've never done something as bold as agreeing beforehand to purely have a sexual relationship with a man. This will definitely be something new for me, but I’m sure this won’t be a big deal at all for him.

I guess I’m nervous enough for both of us.

I set my suitcase down and stand at the edge of the crowd waiting for the tour bus to roll in. Several of the women walking about are practically wearing nothing but beach attire and stiletto heels. Like me, they’re basically here to have a romp with a rocker, but at least I have enough decency not to announce it to the rest of the world. I think I still look pretty cute in my low rise cut off shorts and a black tank top. It’s fairly close to what I was wearing the last time I caught Riff’s attention.

The gate opens and the brakes squeak as the bus pulls to a halt alongside the crowd. Cameras instantly flash while the onlookers hold up their ‘we love you’ signs and scream out the names of the guys in the band.

A scantily dressed blonde beside me turns to her friend and says, “I’ll take Riff tonight and you get Noel. I’m ready to sample some of that Mohawk hotness.”

I don’t know why, but her words instantly make my blood boil and the words ‘not if I get to him first’ flash in my brain.

Patience is not my strong point after I don’t see a sign of Lanie coming out to meet me. I pull my cell from my pocket and dial her number.

“I was just getting ready to call you,” she answers.

“Good thing because I’m already here,” I tell her as I strain my eyes to try to catch a glimpse of her through the tinted bus windows. “I think this is the bus you’re on.”

“I see you! I’m coming out,” she practically squeals in my ear.

The bus door flies open and Lanie bounds out of the door. I push past security and grab her up in a tight hug. “I’ve been waiting for freaking ever.” I release her and shove my hair over my shoulder. “It’s good to see you too. I’ve missed you.”

She grabs my hand. “Come on. I want you to meet the guys before they all take off on their two day reprieve.”

A giggle escapes me as I find it impossible to contain my excitement. I grab my luggage and she pulls me up the bus steps. Three of the band members, Trip, Tyke and Riff stare openly at me once we step inside. Curiosity burns in their eyes as they soak every inch of me in. I swallow hard and look away.

Shit. They all know I’m here to sleep with Riff. He must’ve spotted me and told them I was his designated sex for the night. I inhale deeply and allow my gaze to land on Riff. He’s just as unbelievably sexy as I remember. His tall, muscular frame leans casually against the counter beside him while he bites his plump bottom lip. There’s a sparkle of mischief in his green eyes as he grins at me.

My insides jitter as I get the distinct feeling he’s going to cause me to walk funny before the night’s through.

Lanie pulls me beside her. “Guys, this is my closest friend, Aubrey. Aubrey this is Black Falcon. This is Trip”—she points to him—“he’s the drummer. And this is his twin brother, Tyke—also the bass player. And last but not least—”

“Riff.” He steps forward and takes my hand into his like we’ve never met before.

His eyes glue to mine and I grin like an idiot and even let another nervous giggle slip. I need to get my shit together and play it cool. He’s going to think I’m a giggling bimbo if I don’t stop this. Riff’s gaze falls to my lips and heat rushes to my cheeks, surely flushing them red and exposing my embarrassment.

I bite my lip as he continues to shake my hand. I’m sure Lanie and the other guys have noticed our rather lengthy hello. I hope she doesn’t drill me about this later.

Trip slaps Riff on the back. “Later, man.”

Trip and Tyke head off the bus, but Riff doesn’t even flinch or tell them goodbye. It’s like he can’t tear himself away from me.

Lanie clears her throat, and I finally let go of Riff’s hand. “So, um, Aubrey, what do you want to do today?”

Reluctantly I pull my eyes away from Riff and say, “Doesn’t matter.”

“How about we all hang out,” Riff says, not giving Lanie any chance to suggest something for the two of us alone to do.

Heavy boots clomp onto the kitchen floor. Noel’s showered and looking downright sexy in tight jeans and black t-shirt. The material clings to his chest and shows off his body perfectly. Lanie’s the one biting her lip now. I give her a second to ogle him before I grin and elbow her for an introduction.

“What’s going on?” Noel asks as he grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

“Noel this is my friend, Aubrey. The one I was telling you about.”

He gives me a nod and then points his attention to Riff, who hasn’t taken his eyes off me since I set foot on this bus. “You’re going out with these two?”

Riff blinks hard a couple times, like he’s breaking out of trance. “Yeah, I mean, if they’re cool with that.”

Before Lanie can object, I answer, “Absolutely.”

Riff grins at me again and then puts on his sunglasses while he heads for the bus door. “Awesome. Let’s get this show on the road.”

My heart does a double thump as I turn to immediately follow him, only to be halted when Lanie grabs my arm. “What the hell are you doing?”

I shrug and try to play it off like I just met Riff and we don’t already have plans to hump like rabbits. “He’s hot and seems into me. What’s the problem?”

She frowns at me. “Nothing, I guess. Just be cautious. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

I lean in and kiss her cheek to assure her I’m not going down the same road with Riff as I have in the past. She knows most men have a track record of tearing my heart into pieces. “I’m a big girl, Lanie. I’m just here to have a good time, not get married. I know what I’m doing.”

She throws her arms around my neck and says into my ear, “Of course, have a good time.”

I grin at her—glad she understands and doesn’t judge me before I follow Riff out the door. As soon as he spots me, he pulls away from signing autographs. His Mohawk standing at full attention as a slow smile spreads across his face and he holds out his hand to me.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” he asks as he pulls me toward a black Escalade.

I shrug. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

He opens the door for me and then yanks me flush against his chest. “Oh it’s a surprise all right, but it’s nothing compared to the one you’re going to get later.”

His lips hover above mine for a few seconds and all I can think about is the feel of his lips on mine again. As he leans in, I hear a female call his name, totally ruining the almost moment we shared.

I pull away and huff, causing Riff to chuckle at my annoyance of his adoring female fans. He helps me into the middle row of the SUV with a hand on my ass and follows behind me.

Once the door is closed and we’re alone inside, I open my mouth to ask him about the ticket, but I never get the chance. He practically attacks me before I even have a chance to settle into my seat. His lips and hands are everywhere. It’s like he’s a starving man and I’m a juicy steak he can’t wait to tear into. Both of his hands settle on my hips before he turns me to face him. My back rests awkwardly against the door, the armrest digging into my neck as he shoves his body against mine. The weight of him is forceful and I don’t have to guess what’s on his mind.

“I’ve never had to wait this long to have a woman,” he says against my lips. “You’ve already got me so fucking hard.”

I pull away and pant. “Just a little longer. I promise.”

I know letting him basically have his way with me in the backseat of a random car isn’t the best way to stand out amongst the bimbos he’s typically with, but it’s hard to resist him.

He cups my cheeks and stares into my eyes for a split second, like he’s drinking me in, before his lips crash into mine. His tongue enters my mouth and slides effortlessly over mine. Riff presses himself into my thigh, allowing me to feel how much he wants me. To know I have so much power over such a sexy beast of a man sends a thrill though me.

A heavy knock on the window causes us both to jump apart. I sigh heavily as I readjust my tank top to cover my stomach back up.

When the hell did he practically expose me?

Riff smirks at me before he winks. “To be continued.”

I sit up as he slides over next to me on the bench seat after he opens the door for Noel and Lanie to crawl into the back seat. He reaches over and scoops my hand into his, threading his fingers through mine before kissing the back of my hand.

Such a sweet gesture from him shocks me a bit. I guess I didn’t expect him to be sort-of caring. I figured our entire time together would be a lot like what we were doing in the SUV. No talking, just getting down to the hot and sexy nakedness he messaged me about.

I study his features. The smile on his face is one of pure contentment and it draws me into him even more. For a split second I wonder what he’s really like behind his bad boy persona. Is it possible that the entire world, including me have him pegged all wrong?

Just as the last thought floats through my brain he moves my hand to rest over his still erect penis.

I totally take back my last thought. Looks like he’s exactly the person he shows the entire world.

RIFF

Her delicate hand fits perfectly in mine. I can’t believe she’s actually here. She’s been the one thing that’s been occupying my mind the last couple weeks, and now the reason we’ve been talking has come to a head. I’ll miss the little friendship we’ve built up over the past few days. She’s been a great distraction and I hate to give her up. Once I give her what she came here for, there will be no reason for her to continue talking to me. She’ll figure out soon enough I’m an unlovable asshole who will only disappoint her and ruin her life somehow. Better to show her that right off the bat.

I readjust our hands and bring her hand to rest squarely on my crotch.

She whips her head in my direction and raises her eyebrows but doesn’t make a move to jerk her hand away. There’s a challenge in her green eyes, almost like she’s saying ‘is that the best you got’. I knew she would be an excellent distraction.

A few minutes later Noel’s bodyguard, Mike, pulls in to a local Mexican restaurant. Kitten pulls her hand away the moment Lanie leans up from the backseat to chat with her about going shopping later in the evening together.

I hop out of the vehicle and turn to help Kitten out. I grab her by the waist and hoist her against my body.

She giggles. “Put me down.”

I shake my head and lean in to whisper in her ear, “Get used to it, babe. You’re about to spend a whole lot more time in close proximity with me.”

“Shhhhhhh,” she says, “Let’s not announce that to everyone.”

I tilt my head and quirk my pierced eyebrow at her. “Why? You ashamed everyone will find out you want me to fuck you senseless?”

Her eyes widen. “Why do you say things like that?”

I give her my most wicked grin. “Because it makes all you ladies soak your panties.”

Kitten opens her mouth like she wants to say something else, but quickly shuts it when Noel starts complaining about us moving out of the way so he and Lanie can get out.

“Sorry, bro. You know women can never get enough of me.” The easygoing tone in my voice catches me off guard. It’s been a long time since I’ve been that friendly to Noel.

Kitten smacks my chest and shakes her head as I set her down.

She folds her slender arms across her chest and I can’t help but to notice how unbelievably cute she looks when she’s pissed. If she keeps this shit up, I’ll be taking her into the bathroom of this restaurant and locking the door so I can have my way with her.

For the next hour Kitten and I listen to Noel and Lanie reminisce about stories of their childhood. It’s funny how different Noel is around her. He’s like this whole other guy—a nice one. One I would be proud to call my friend if he hadn’t fucked me over in the past.

While Noel distracts Lanie with another margarita, I allow my fingers to roam over to Kitten’s lap and trace the bare skin on her inner thigh. Instead of pulling away like I figure she’ll do, she scoots closer. Her knees drift apart, like she’s welcoming my touch and encouraging me to do more.

I readjust in my seat as my cock twitches in my pants. Damn. This girl is like the perfect fucking chick for me. She’s unbelievably sexy, has a rack I would give my left nut to get in my mouth, and then there’s that whole naughty-good girl vibe.

I slide my hand up and allow my fingers to rub the center stitch of the crotch of her cut-off jean shorts.

I rest my elbow on the table and prop my chin up with my free hand. Kitten scoots even closer to me and leans in to pick up her drink before taking a long sip. Her cool demeanor surprises me. Most onlookers would probably never guess there’s anything out of the ordinary going on by the look on her face.

I steal a glance at our tablemates. Lanie looks like she’s feeling no pain while working on her eighth margarita and Noel is too googlie-eyed by her to notice much else.

The next thing I know, Kitten’s hand rests squarely on the crotch of my jeans. She doesn’t waste any time. She’s going straight for my junk.

She seems totally into a little naughtiness and doesn’t flinch when she seizes the moment to unzip my pants. My entire body stiffens and I quickly throw a couple napkins in my lap to hide things from view. Suddenly I’m thankful for the extra wide table. It’s bad enough Noel and Lanie are sitting at the same table as us, but thank God I’m not too close to them.

My heart races inside my chest. It’s been a while since I felt such a thrill with a woman. While I know getting off right now isn’t probably going to happen, I don’t mind the little bit of cock teasing she’s doing. It’s going to make me fuck her that much harder when I get the chance.

Kitten turns toward me and licks her lips before giving me a little wink. God, she’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s taking every bit of my self-control not to throw her down on this bench seat and fuck her on the spot right here in front of everyone.

She bites her bottom lip as she pretends to listen to Lanie and Noel talk about themselves, but I know that little grin she’s hiding is for me.

She’s just as fucking excited by this as I am.

I take a deep breath to calm down as she snakes two fingers inside my pants and then finds the opening in my boxers. I suck in a quick breath the moment she touches the sensitive skin on my shaft. My cock jerks hard and she smiles as she takes another sip of her drink. I melt back into the booth and try to think about anything other than the fact she’s touching me right now. My fingers ache to touch her—to feel her warm, wet flesh.

My dick throbs and more than anything I want to take her someplace private so we can get down to business.

Her mouth drifts open as she manages to get her entire hand in and wrap it around my cock. It’s the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

Kitten moves her hand up and down my length. This is too much. I can’t keep quiet while she jerks me off. Everyone in this restaurant would know the moment I came because sex with me is never quiet. I don’t have that much self-control.

I grab her wrist and hold her still and Kitten makes a very subtle noise of surprise.

Lanie’s gaze snaps in her friend’s direction and Kitten’s face flames nearly matching the color of her hair.

“These drinks are so good,” Kitten tries to play it off and I can’t hold back from laughing.

Lanie raises an eyebrow and then turns her attention back to Noel. Kitten instantly relaxes her tense shoulders and sighs.

I chuckle as I pull her hand from my pants. Her eyes land on me and I wink to let her know how much fun I thought that was. She twists her pink lips in response and then I feel her fingers on my thigh.

Fuck me. She’s relentless.

When I come for her for the first time, I want it to be when I’m buried deep inside her and I can grunt all the obscenities I want to because it feels so fucking good.

I grab her hand as her fingers trace the bulge in my jeans. She scrunches her brow and tilts her head.

“Later,” I say.

That explanation seems to pacify her as she shrugs and takes another sip of her drink.

A few minutes later, we make our way out of the restaurant. Noel practically drags a very intoxicated Lanie along and then helps her into the backseat of the SUV. Kitten and I pile into the middle seat, sitting so close together she’s practically on my lap.

She stares up at me with her sexy, green eyes under long lashes and I’m reminded of how sweet she is. How she’s not another groupie, but a career-minded lady. Someone that’s actually too good for me, but I’m damn thankful she gives me the time of day anyway. Her hands rest on my chest and her warmth sets my skin on fire as I think about her touch earlier.

I tangle my hand into her thick, red curls and try to forget our friends are getting a free peep show behind us. “You’re so fucking beautiful. I can’t wait to get you back to the hotel.”

She bites her lip and her gaze moves to my lips like she wants me to kiss her. I lean into her and bury my face in her hair.

“Tonight you’re mine. I’m going to fuck you in so many positions the Kama Sutra will be asking us for tips,” I growl into her ear.

I pull back in time to watch her wide eyes return to normal and those luscious lips of hers pull into a sexy smile. “That’s what I’m counting on.”

Dammit, can’t Mike drive this thing any fucking faster? This is one girl I can’t wait to test out.

Chapter 6

AUBREY

The bodyguard pulls the SUV into the back lot next to the Black Falcon bus. Lanie crawls out of the vehicle and then staggers away from the group. I watch as my friend zigs and zags her way inside the bus.

“She’s going to be sick. I’ve never seen her tipsy,” Noel says.

I laugh. “That’s because you missed her college years. Trust me, this is very mild.”

Noel frowns and instantly I feel bad. This man is crazy over her. Any sane human can see that by looking at him.

He rubs the back of his neck. “You think she’s all right?”

Noel’s concern is adorable.

I turn to Riff, taking Noel’s hint. “I better go check on her.”

He nods and then smacks my behind and I jump at the unexpected contact. “Hurry back.”

The two men behind me laugh as I walk through the parking lot.

I follow Lanie into the back bedroom of the bus as she fumbles through her clothes. Why is she changing? “Aren’t you going over to the hotel with the rest of the band?”

She shakes her head. “I can’t afford a room over there, and I’m tired. All I can think about is sleeping.”

Odd. I tilt my head and stare at her, trying to figure out why she’s fighting against Noel so hard. “Sleeping? After the way you were flirting with Noel tonight, you want to go to sleep?”

She shrugs like the little bit of P.D.A. tonight was no big deal. “Yes? What’s so wrong with that?”

I bite my lip to keep from telling her to wake up and see that Noel is still crazy in love with her. “You two have this whole connection thing vibing between you. Aren’t you the least big curious as to what it can turn into?”

“No. This is business, Aubrey. It can’t be anything more than that between us. You know that.”

I sigh. She likes to hold her grudges and stick to her guns. I’ve told her in the past that sometimes fighting against something so hard only delays the inevitable for a little while. This relationship between her and Noel is going to happen, even if she’s not ready to admit that to herself yet.

I wrap my arms around her to show she has my support no matter what because I know denying her feelings for Noel is killing her—I can see it in her face. But she won’t listen to anyone. She’ll only come around when she’s ready. This is a simple fact I know about my best friend. “I love you, Lanie, but sometimes you need to loosen up and say fuck the rules. A job isn’t everything. Live a little, you know.”

She laughs and tries to change the subject. “Like you are with Riff?”

My face heats up and I can tell it’s probably matching the red shade of my hair. “I can’t help it. I’ve always thought he was the cutest in the band. Gah! He’s a really good kisser, too.”

Lanie grins and then childishly plugs her ears. “I so don’t need to hear these details.”

I pull her hands down and laugh at her crazy drunk antics. “Trust me, by this time tomorrow I’ll have more details about Riff than how he kisses.”

She smacks my arm. “Go then, and slut around, if you must.”

I smile and then wink at her. “Oh, that’s a definite must.”

When I return to the parking lot, I find Noel and Riff talking in a hushed, seemingly heated discussion that quickly dissipates when I’m within earshot.

Noel looks down at me with his clear blue eyes. “She okay?”

I nod. “She’s fine. Just drunk and a little grumpy.”

Noel laughs. “Great. Catch you guys later.”

Once Noel heads in the direction of the bus, Riff grabs me around the waist and yanks me against his hard body. “What was that little stunt in the restaurant, huh?”

I give him my most wicked grin and try to portray confidence. “Just trying to get you excited.”

He bites his bottom lip and sucks in his lip ring. “All you have to do is look at me and I’m turned on like a fucking light switch.”

I run my hands up his sculpted chest and then allow my fingertips to linger on the exposed skin above the neckline of his t-shirt. I peer up at him and find his green eyes set on me. I lick my lips as nerves hit me a little. Back at the restaurant I’m not sure what possessed me to feel him up in public like that. The only thing that kept going through my mind is the need to stand out. I want this night together to be as memorable for him as it will be for me. I’m sure he’s done far worse with a woman and that wasn’t a big deal to him, but for me that was major. Being around him makes me do things I normally wouldn’t do.

I swallow and realize I’ve got him exactly where I want him—desperate to have me. It’s now or never. I’ve come this far. I can’t be nervous now. “How far away is the hotel?”

Riff growls as squeezes me against him. “Keep looking at me like that and we won’t be making it there before I have my way with you.”

My heart does a double skip in my chest and my knees grow weak. I’ve been with the bad boy type before, but Riff is like their king. He’s so straightforward and it’s unbelievably sexy.

“You guys need me to drive you over to the hotel?” Mike asks from behind me.

Riff tears his eyes away from my face long enough to shake his head and say, “No, man. We’re good. I’ve got my bike.”

“All right. Later,” Mike says before I hear his boots hitting the blacktop walking away from us.

I quirk an eyebrow. “A bike? You’re really the ultimate bad boy, aren’t you?”

He throws his head back and a deep laugh rumbles out of him. “Kitten, I’m the baddest, bad boy you’ll ever need. Come on.”

The roadies roll Riff’s motorcylce out of the back of one of the trailers that haul some of the band’s equipment around. He jumps on, allowing his strong thighs to hold it up while he hands me a helmet.

I take it and my eyes instantly search for another one. “Aren’t you going to wear one? Isn’t that a law or something?”

He shrugs. “I never do. I believe it’s called living dangerously. Besides, we’re in too many different states for me to keep track of each one’s laws.”

The engine roars to life after a couple seconds and I flinch. I’ve never been on a bike before, but I can’t let a little nerve stop me from fulfilling my last hurrah weekend.

I hop on behind him and grab his sides, allowing my legs to rest against his hips.

Riff shakes his head. “You have to hang on tighter, babe.”

He grabs both of my hands and wraps them around him. I open my mouth to ask why, but instantly snap it shut as he guns the motor and heads out onto the street. He roars through the city streets and the cars pass by at such a frightening speed I’m pretty sure my claws are raking his skin through his t-shirt. The only thing going through my brain is hoping we don’t wreck and die considering there’s absolutely nothing protecting us.

I try not to think about it as I attempt to bury my face into his back.

A couple minutes later we pull into the hotel parking lot. Riff parks the bike in the lot and cuts the engine. My entire body tingles and feels numb as I jump off as fast as humanly possible. I have to say that’s one thing on my bucket list I can do without ever doing again.

I yank the helmet off and my hand shakes as I hold it out to him.

He laughs as he takes it from me and tucks it under his arm. “Did you like that?”

I tip my chin up and fake my best smile so he doesn’t know that scared the shit out of me. I don’t want him to think I’m a total wuss. “It was awesome.”

Riff grins as he props his bike up on the kickstand before hoping off. “Good to know you’re a bad liar.”

I throw my hands on my hips. “I am not lying.”

He touches the tip of my nose with his index finger. “You’re sexy when you’re feisty. I hope you keep this attitude up in the room.” He holds out his hand. “Let’s go get checked in.”

The moment we step inside, I follow Riff’s gaze towards the hotel bar. Loud bouts of laughter echo through the blaring rock music around the lobby. A party is in full swing. A couple of women dressed in tight, short shirts and halter tops loiter near the entrance while they hang on the arms of a couple road-beaten roadies who look like they haven’t shaved in a month. Some women will apparently sleep with anyone associated a band to get to the talent. I bet the rest of the guests in this place love the idea that a bunch of rock stars are partying it up in here while they’re on a family vacation.

Riff wraps his arm around my shoulders and leans into my ear. “Head on over to the bar while I take care of stuff at the desk. Order me a beer, would you?”

I nod and he lets go of my hand and we part ways.

The crowd in the small room is amazing. It’s hard to believe that many people are working behind the scenes of this tour. Nearly every seat in the place is taken, sometimes even double occupied. The dim lights and sheer amount of bodies make it difficult to make my way to the bar. I shoulder past a few, mumbling my apologies as I finally step up to the bar.

I run my fingers through my wind-blown hair as I wait for the stocky, male bartender to make his way down to me.

“Can I buy you a drink?” a man’s voice asks to my right.

My head snaps in his direction and my eyes land on an incredibly handsome man. Blonde shaggy hair drifts over his brow and he shoves it back as he grins at me. His blue eyes drink me in slowly as he waits for my answer.

I return his smile with a polite one of my own. “Thank you, but I’m with someone.”

He leans in closer and completely blows off my refusal. “I’m Donovan. You might’ve heard of me?” He pauses for a brief second, but when I give him a blank stare he continues, “I’m the guitarist for Embrace the Darkness.”

I nod. “I’ve heard of you. You’re the opening act for Black Falcon, right?”

Donovan smirks. “Not for long. They’ll be opening for us soon enough.”

He turns, practically pushing his chest against my arm and I take a step away. “Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

He shrugs. “Why not? I’m great at what I do and my band kicks ass. What’s so wrong in taking pride in something you know you’re good at?” Suddenly, I feel his hand on my ass. “Why don’t you do yourself a favor and come upstairs with me?”

I yank his hand off my ass and shoot him the death stare. “Like I said, I’m with someone.”

He makes a big show of looking around me. “Oh, yeah? Where? I don’t see anyone. Chicks don’t come around places like this alone unless they’re looking for a good time. So tell me, where’s this mystery guy you’re here with?”

I open my mouth to tell him off, but before I get the chance Riff’s voice cuts through the loud bar music. “Right fucking here.”

I don’t know who tenses more, me or Donovan.

RIFF

I stand back as long as I can. I want to see the way Kitten reacts when other men approach her. I want to know if her hard to get act is genuine or if she’s just another groupie ready to slut it up with any rock star that moves.

Donovan creeps up on her and uses the same fucking lines I see him do night after night on the fans during the after-parties.

Sheer delight envelopes me when Kitten yanks his hand off her ass and tells him to beat it. That doesn’t sit well with Donovan. His chest instantly puffs up and his face twists. He’s not used to rejection, and girls like Aubrey throw us resident man-whores off our game.

The moment he raises his voice at her, testing to see if she’s really alone like she claims, I step in. I can’t help it. I don’t want him to get the idea he can put the moves on her or force her into something she doesn’t want to do.

This urge to protect what’s mine surges through me and before I know it my hands ball into fists and I say, “Right fucking here.”

Donovan’s eyes widen. “Sorry, dude. I didn’t know she was one of your hoes.”

Aubrey flinches beside him the moment the insult leaves his mouth. For some reason him referring to her as a piece of sexual garbage pisses me off. “Don’t ever fucking call her that.”

He raises his hands in surrender. “Easy, man. No need to get all swollen up in the chest. There’s plenty of tail to go around.”

My eyes narrow. “Then you better go find some elsewhere.”

We stare each other down for a long moment. My shoulders tense more each second we stand here. I haven’t had much problem with Donovan in the past, but the front man of his band, Striker has tried to get at Noel every chance he gets. It’s always some sort of pissing contest to see who has the bigger balls and the most fame. I think those two would fight over a penny if it came down to it.

Embrace the Darkness is a label built band, and all those douchebags care about is climbing their way to the top. They have no sense of camaraderie or brotherhood like we feel. Well, like we used to feel. Noel did a good job fucking that up for us.

Donovan smirks after he sees I’m not backing down. “This one’s too uptight anyhow. Enjoy your blue balls.”

I grit my teeth and fight back the urge to crush his face with my fist. The label’s already warned us about fighting, so I inhale deeply through my nose as Donovan shoulders past me. Noel and Striker threw down after our first couple shows together and the label threatened to disband the tour. We all knew those were idle threats because let’s face it, our shows make too much money for that shit.

Aubrey hands me a beer. “You didn’t have to do that, you know. I’m perfectly capable of handling myself when it comes to assholes.”

A small grin plays across my lips. “I don’t remember you fighting against me too hard when we first met.”

She shrugs and takes a sip of her drink. “You really didn’t give me much time to react, let alone launch a full-on war against you.”

I eye her over my bottle as I down half the beer. A blush creeps up her cheeks. The wall in her confident façade cracks a hair. I figured a girl like her wasn’t used to being a booty call, but she’s doing her best to fool me into thinking she’s been down this road before. I can see right through it. “It’s okay to admit the idea of fucking me turned you on. We both know you wouldn’t be here right now if it didn’t.”

I set my empty bottle on the bar and lean into her. I push her auburn strands away from her neck and allow my fingers to trace the delicate skin right before her ear. She stiffens at first and I can see her struggle internally before I feel the tension leave her.

Her shoulder pushes into my chest as I dip my head and trace her jaw with my nose. It’s such an intimate move to make inside this tight bar where there’s probably fifty eyes trained on us, but I don’t care. If I wait any longer to get close to her, I might explode.

When I reach her ear, my tongue darts out and I taste the flesh of her earlobe. She squeezes her eyes shut and her mouth drops open a bit. The smell of her fruity shampoo and perfume fills my nose and my cock jerks.

I lick my lips and reach around to play with the hem of her shirt. “I don’t think I can wait any more.”

She turns to face me, our noses nearly touching. “Then don’t. Tonight I’m yours, remember?”

“Mine?” I swallow at the sound of that word in my head. I’ve never tried to claim a woman before and I have no fucking clue why I told her she was mine earlier tonight. But it feels right, which is completely fucked up, because I know I don’t deserve anything good in my life. I ruin everything I touch. Every person that’s ever mattered in my life has told me that at one point or another, so I know a future with anyone is out of the question. God strike me down for wanting to get to know this girl. I’m no fucking good for her.

I take her beer from her and toss it into a nearby trashcan before taking her hand into mine. “Let’s go.”

I need to fuck her—the sooner the better. It’s the only way I know that’ll get her out of my system.

Chapter 7

AUBREY

Riff swipes his room key in the door and it flashes green. That looks like a green light if I’ve ever seen one. I take a deep breath. It looks like it’s go time—now’s the time for me to make my mark.

He holds the door open for me and I step through the threshold backwards while grabbing a handful of his t-shirt in my fists. Riff’s eyebrows shoot up for a brief second and then he grins devilishly. He likes me taking control. I can see it in his eyes.

The door closes with a bang and I throw my arms around his neck, crushing my lips to his. He doesn’t hesitate, not even for a brief second, before he tangles his hands in my hair and deepens our kiss. We melt together and start peeling off layers of clothes.

Neither of us speak, which is fine by me. We both know what we’re here for. There’s no need for empty words or promises neither of us intend to keep. Instead, we both focus on the here and now, allowing our mouths, lips and tongues every opportunity to explore each other.

Once we are both down to our underwear, he steps back, allowing himself a moment to take in the sight of my nearly naked body. Unsure of what to do with my hands, I arch my back, throwing my plan to seduce him into action. My bare shoulders rest against the door and I run both of my hands into my hair, attempting to be as sexy as I possibly can. Confidence is key in any situation when trying to maintain power. I’ve learned that much from my new boss already. So, I keep eye contact with him and lift my chin.

It must be working because Riff bites his lip as his hungry eyes drink me in. “You are too fucking sexy for your own good.”

Any games I remotely thought about teasing him with at the moment fly out the window. Riff grips my hips in his hands and pushes me against the door. The hard length underneath his boxers presses against my stomach and I lick my lips in anticipation. His lips fly over every inch of my neck before he dips his head and kisses the tops of my breasts. I throw my head back and a moan escapes me.

Why does his mouth have to feel so amazing?

My hands trail up the taut muscles in his back as he rises up and kisses my mouth. His expert hands undo the hooks on my bra quickly, before he peels it off, letting it fall to the floor by our feet. He runs his hands down my sides and pauses at my hips. I suck in a quick breath as he shoves my underwear down around my ass before gripping my bare bottom. This only excites him further. His mouth flies into a fury, tasting every inch of my skin that he can.

Instead of taking the time to slide my panties down, he grabs one side and rips them at the seams. The loose, lacy material falls limply down my leg after a quick shove from Riff.

Riff growls against my skin as he grabs my ass and hoists me into the air. Instinctively, I wrap my legs around his waist as he balances my weight against the door and allow my fingers to run across the stubble of his recently shaved head.

He grinds his pelvis into mine and it’s almost more than I can take to know only a thin piece of fabric separates me from the relief that only he can give me. “Oh, god, Riff.”

It comes out almost like a plea and I can hear the desperation in my voice for him to take me.

“Don’t call me that. Not in here,” he whispers roughly in my ear. “Call me Zach.”

I’ll call him whatever he wants as long as he doesn’t stop touching me. Every move he makes is right, turning me on to the point of nearly losing my mind—so much for taking control of this situation.

I kiss his mouth feverishly while the head of his penis rubs against my sweet spot. “Take me, Zach.”

In any other moment, I would’ve laughed at myself for sounding like a cheesy twit, but they’re the only words I can find that express exactly what I need.

I want him. Now.

Zach growls as soon as his name leaves my lips and he turns us around and tosses me down on the bed. I prop my weight up on my elbows to get a better look. He grins as he shoves down his boxers, putting himself on full display for me. I stare at him, taking in his god-like physique. Full sleeves of tattoos proudly cover every inch of his impressive forearms. Muscle lines every inch of him and his chest displays a vast array of artwork as well. My eyes pass over his nipple piercings and land on a line of script directly over his heart. The name Hailey stands out boldly against a series of hearts.

It makes me stop for a brief second and wonder about the woman the name belongs to and if she broke his heart. I kiss his chest near the tattoo and he freezes. I peer up as he squeezes his eyes shut.

I reach out to wrap my hand around his erect shaft, but he grabs my wrist and bends down to kiss my lips. “You first.”

He gently pushes my shoulders back and kisses a trail down my naked torso. My breath hitches when he hooks the underside of my knee and rests it on his shoulder. His tongue darts out of his mouth, licking his way to my core.

His masterful mouth works its way around my folds, teasing me with every flick of his tongue. My arousal is out of control and when I reach the point of begging him to cure the ache that’s building in me, he sucks on my clit.

The back of my head digs into the mattress as I arch my back and push my pelvis against his mouth. “Yes! Ohhhh.”

My words are breathy and I probably sound like a lame porn star attempting to put on a good show, but I don’t care. It feels too damn good to keep quiet.

An intense tingle spreads from where his mouth works diligently to the tips of my toes. Zach continues to work his magic until my legs shake and I scream out his name.

My entire body relaxes as I attempt to slow my breathing down. “That was amazing.”

He grins devilishly as he crawls onto the bed beside me. His lips meet mine and I can taste myself on his lips. Even though I’m still feeling the euphoria of orgasm, I can’t wait to see what else this night will bring. I know it’s only just begun.

His hard length presses against my thigh as he leans in and kisses me deeply. I run my hand up his chiseled abs until I reach his nipple. I pinch it between my fingers and give the ring in it a little tug. A low groan emits from his throat and waves of giddy excitement flows through me.

Zachary “Riff” Oliver likes things a little rough, does he? Well, that’s exactly what he’s going to get—some downright kinky sexcapades.

I shove his shoulder, rolling him onto his back and he chuckles. “I knew you were a wild cat. This is going to be good.”

I bend down and suck one of his nipples into my mouth. I swirl my tongue around his piercing and he bites his lip, trying to hold back a growl. I kiss his chest and then his stomach before he grabs a handful of my hair.

He’s used to dominating in the bedroom. I have to flip the script on him.

Before I make it down to his cock, I look up at him and rest my chin on his stomach while my breasts touch his thighs. He gives his pelvis a gentle thrust, sliding his shaft against my chest.

He tries again, but I keep staring into his hooded eyes. “Why’d you stop?”

I smile. “I want to try something.”

Zach raises a pierced eyebrow. “What do you have in mind?”

“Stay right here.” I push myself up from the bed and grab my discarded black tank top. It’s not exactly a blindfold and it probably won’t fit around his head. I throw it back down when another possible item to use pops in my head.

I open the closet door and hanging inside are two fluffy white robes. I yank one of the belts free and shut the door.

When I turn around Zach grins. “Naked maid service? I like where you’re going with this surprise.”

I laugh and know I should be self-conscious about running around this hotel room naked in front of a mega celebrity like him, but the way he’s staring at me makes me feel exactly the opposite. I feel desired and sexy. His green eyes tell me he likes what he sees and can’t wait to get the chance to devour me fully.

I hold up the belt and he slowly starts to nod like he’s playing in his mind what I’m about to do to him. “Kitten, I like your style.”

I walk around the bed, gripping the thick material in my hands. I’ve never been one to take charge in the bedroom, but since I’m not in this for a relationship, I can let my freak flag completely fly. Women have probably attempted to dominate him before, so this shouldn’t be anything new, but hopefully it’s memorable.

“Sit up,” I command. After he positions himself on the side of the bed with his legs over the edge, I order, “Close your eyes.”

Zach fights back a grin and does as I ask. My hands shake while I cover his eyes and knot the belt at the back of his head. This makes a decent blindfold in a pinch.

“Now what?” he asks.

I press my index finger to his lips. “No more talking until I say.”

A huge smile erupts on his face and he opens his mouth to speak again, but I pinch his lips shut. I bend at the waist and barely touch his top lip with my tongue. When I pull away Zach nods in approval and relaxes his weight against the palms positioned on either side of him.

I can feel the anticipation radiating off him. This is exactly what I want—to make him feel unsettled.

I rake my nails down his chest, not hard enough to leave any permanent marks, but enough to let him know I mean business. His mouth drifts open when I halt at his belly button. I’m really not sure what the hell I’m doing, but he doesn’t need to know that.

I get on my knees in front of him and place my hands on his thighs. Zach’s head lulls back and he licks his lips in anticipation.

RIFF

I think about stopping her. I’ve not broken my penis to skin contact rule since the band went big and I started banging random chicks after shows. But, the thought of finally having her please me outweighs my rational brain. Letting her blow me for a while isn’t going to hurt anything. I think I can trust that she’s got a disease free mouth.

Fuck it.

I let my head fall back and prepare to enjoy the ride for a bit. I have to hand it to her, blindfolding me was a nice touch. This isn’t the first time a girl has tried to seduce me, but it is the first time it actually seems to be working a little. The mere thought of her hard at work in her office during the day in dress clothes, and being this naughty sex-kitten in the bedroom at night is nearly enough to make me nut on the spot.

Damn it. If I were into relationships this girl would be fucking perfect for me.

The moment her hand wraps around my shaft I want to moan, but I fight it back. I can’t let her know she’s won me over with a simple touch. I like this little teasing game she’s playing.

The tip of her tongue swirls around the rim of my head—my most sensitive spot. I suck in a quick breath as she pops the tip in her mouth. “Fuck.”

I know she told me not to talk, but I’ve never been very good at following rules.

A rush of air flows through my clenched teeth as I suck in a quick breath when she takes me in further. Good god. This woman is really trying to kill me. If she keeps this up I’m going to blow my load early again like I did the last time I got head. Then she’ll be fucking disappointed and done with me.

I clamp my eyes shut and try to focus on anything other any how good she’s making me feel. The baseball game I watched the night before with Trip pops into my head. It helps a little to distract me, but it doesn’t really take away the warm sensation enveloping every inch of me.

I bite my lip ring and knot my fingers in her hair. “That feels so fucking good.”

The minute the words leave my mouth, Aubrey’s mouth pulls away. My entire body slumps at the loss of her warmth. Why would she pull away after I told her she was doing a good job?

I reach out for her, but can’t find her with this damn blindfold. “Come back. Don’t stop.”

She pinches my lips shut again. “I told you no talking. You’re ruining this.”

I grin. “It’s cute you want to play dominatrix with me, but babe, it really isn’t necessary. I’ve fucking wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

The mattress beside me gives under her weight as she sits down beside me. She slides the belt from over my eyes and tosses it onto the bed. Kitten’s face twists like she’s trying to hold back some disappointment and the urge to comfort her consumes me. “You aren’t having fun? I wanted this to be memorable for you.”

Not many people let their guard down around me to let me see that I’ve actually hurt their feelings. It’s a nice change of pace to be around someone real.

I lift her chin so I can stare into her green eyes. “Just being with you is memorable enough.” She smiles and her eyes completely light up. I lean in and press my lips to hers. “I do like the idea of less talk and more action, though.”

Kitten giggles as I pull her down on the bed with me. Beneath me she looks so pure, and innocent. I can’t even explain it, but there’s something about her that’s pulling me in. I run my hand down the length of her arm. Her skin’s so fucking soft it causes my cock to twitch against her thigh.

Her almond shaped eyes stare up at me, waiting on my next move. The tip of my finger traces her chin. Too bad this night with her has to be a one-time thing. She’s a girl I would like to keep around for a while. One time with her, won’t be enough. I can already fucking tell. But she would never sign up to stay on Big Bertha as my fuck-buddy. She’s not that type of girl. She has a life.

I kiss her neck, and the scent of her fruity shampoo and perfume fills my nose. Why does her skin have to smell so fucking good?

The desire for every inch of my flesh to meet with hers grips my stomach. I wonder if she would let me fuck her raw?

What the hell am I thinking? I never allow that kind of contact. Not that I’m worried about knocking women up. I know that’s not a possibility because of the accident I had as a teenager. It’s more for the fact I’ve lost count of how many sexual partners I’ve had.

I suck her nipple into my mouth. I bet Kitten’s not like that. From the looks of her and how she rejected my initial advances, I’d say her numbers are pretty low. Maybe I can break my own rule just this once. A girl like her doesn’t come along very often, and she’ll probably say no anyhow, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. This will be my only shot to have her.

“Are you on the pill?” I say between kisses as I get to know every inch of her skin. She’s careful. That’s a good sign.

“Yes,” she says the words breathy.

“Have you been tested?” Her body stiffens below me.

Shit. I knew she’d never let me.

“Y—yes. Have you?”

I push myself up to gaze in her eyes. I want her to believe me when I answer. “Regularly and I never do anything without wearing a condom, not even blow jobs.”

Her eyes search me. “Well, why would you want to break that rule with me?”

I swallow hard. Truth is sometimes harder than a lie. “You’re different, and real. If I only get one night with you, I want to feel you, every inch of you.”

I wait for her to laugh in my face and tell me hell no, but what she does shocks the shit out of me.

She nods and kisses my lips. “Tonight, I’m yours. Make love to me.”

My heart bangs inside my chest. Mine. I’ve never had that with someone. Even if this is only an illusion created by my fucked up brain to feel love somehow, I’ll take it—one night to feel normal and loved.

I push a loose strand of her auburn hair away from her cheek. There’s a softness in her eyes I want to crawl inside and live in—if only for a little while.

I close my eyes and run my nose across her jaw line. Her mouth drifts open and I trace her bottom lip with my tongue. I wrap her in one of my arms and position myself between her thighs. My tip teases her entrance and slides against her pussy. She moans as soon as I make contact with her clit and it’s nearly my undoing.

I grip her shoulder and with one quick motion, I’m buried inside her. “Damn. I didn’t know what I was fucking missing.”

“Ohhh,” she whimpers while her face buries into my chest.

I pull back. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

She bites her lip and shakes her head. “Don’t stop.”

Jesus. If she keeps looking at me with that mixture of innocence and lust I’m not going to make it long.

I thrust into her slowly a few more times while her hand slides down my back and then grabs my ass. “You feel so fucking amazing.”

“It’s different?”

I nod and pump into her again. “You have no idea.”

There’s no way she knows how different this experience is for me. Even all the times I’d fucked Sophie, it’d been just that—fucking. This feels completely new, like we are connected somehow.

My mouth hangs open as I quicken my pace. Sweat slicks both of us as I continue the steady rhythm.

Kitten clenches her thighs around my waist and digs her nails into my back. “Zach, oh god.”

“Don’t fight it. Let go.” I watch her in awe as she falls apart below me, allowing complete vulnerability with me.

I suck a quick breath through my teeth and a string of curses fly from my mouth. This is over too fucking soon, but I can’t help it. Sex has never felt this good before. Shudders ripple through my entire body when I find my own release and spill into her.

I kiss her softly once, to see what it would feel like to not be in a hurry to fuck someone to forget life for a while.

When I pull away, she smiles. “Are you always so sweet to the girls you bag?”

I cringe inside. I hate that she doesn’t think she’s special to me, but if I was an outsider looking at me I would think the same damn thing.

I shake my head. “Only you. Don’t ask me why, either, because I don’t know.”

Her grin widens as she reaches up and strokes my cheek. “Then I like the idea I’m the only one who gets sweet kisses.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Don’t let that get out. I’m not really known for being sweet.”

“Wouldn’t want it to get out you actually have a heart, would we?”

Definitely not. When people find out you actually give a shit, that’s when they fucking hurt you. I know that pain all too well and never want to go through that again.

I grab the nape of her neck and kiss her hungrily while trying to push the idea of taking my time with her out of my head. This girl has the capability of crushing me if I let things get out of control. That’s the whole reason we have this one time hump arrangement—to get each other out of our systems and move the fuck on. We both know we aren’t good together and this thing between us would never go long term anyway because I would fuck it up somehow.

I close my eyes and will my stupid brain to stop overthinking the situation. She’s just another woman out to fuck a rock star so she can have a memory of how wild she was before she settles down in suburbia and pops out some spoiled-rotten children.

Exhausted, satisfied and spent I collapse on top of her. Her hair surrounds me and I inhale the scent of her into my nose. Instantly, I'm turned-on again. I was right—once isn’t going to be enough. I already want more.

Fuck me. I’m in such deep shit.

Chapter 8

AUBREY

After hours of mind-blowing sex we lay in the darkness wrapped in each other’s arms. He strokes the bare skin on my shoulder while I rest my head on his chest. I never expected such caring from him—multiple orgasms, sure, but never a connection. This almost feels like the start of a relationship, which I know is insane. We barely know each other.

The burning desire to get to know this complex man burns inside me. How can he be one way to the world, and yet hide this caring side of himself away?

I trace the tattoos on his defined chest with fingers, lingering awhile on the name over his heart. “What happened between you and the girl?” His arms tense around me and I instantly feel like I’ve stepped over some invisible line that’s been drawn around him. Desperate to keep him from shutting me off again and becoming Riff, I backpedal. “You don’t have to tell me. I was curious.”

Zach sighs into my hair. “It’s not what you think.”

I turn and rest my chin on him so I can peer up at his face. “Oh?”

I’m dying to know more, but don’t want to push.

He frowns under my gaze. “Hailey was my sister.”

There’s no mistaking the word was in that sentence. I can’t even fathom the loss of a family member, let alone someone close, because it’s not something I’ve been through. I imagine it’s soul altering.

I’m quiet for a few minutes, allowing him time to explain further without any prompting from me. When he doesn’t answer, I ask quietly, “What was she like?”

A sad smile fills his face. “She was amazing—my ornery, little tag-a-long. That kid followed me everywhere.”

“So, she was your kid sister?”

He nods. “She was eight when she died.”

How awful. Her life hadn’t even begun and yet it was ripped away at such an early age.

I tilt my head. “How old where you?”

“Sixteen.”

My heart crumbles a little. “That’s so young to have to deal with something like that. What happened to her?”

Zach pulls his lips into a tight line and stares up at the ceiling, clearly fighting back emotion.

It’s always on the news that most tragedies where a child dies, some sort of preventable negligence occurred. I want to ask so badly if that’s what happened, but when I glance up at Zach for answers he grows still.

“Don’t,” he says. “Whatever you’ve got going through your mind, let’s not even talk about it.”

Instead of pushing the issue further, I back off and give the topic space. It’s obvious from his change of mood that he still has issues dealing with her death, and who am I to push him to open up to me. After all, I am still just some woman he slept with. We barely know each other.

I sigh and return my head to his chest and study the contours of his abs. I have to accept this night for what it is. Just sex.

It’s not long before my eyes grow heavy and I’m fast asleep.

RIFF

I lay awake and watch her sleep against me. She’s so beautiful. Her pouty lips drift open and she breathes slowly. She’s peaceful and it’s amazing to watch someone completely relax when they sleep.

I’ve drifted in and out all night, but now that the sun’s up, I know it’ll be a matter of time before we walk out of this room and I never see her again. So I don’t want to waste any more time sleeping.

It’s been a long time since anyone has asked me about Hailey’s tattoo. Even longer still since anyone has cared enough to try to pump me for details about her. I knew Kitten was different from all the other women I’ve been with. That’s why I wanted her so much.

The ringtone on my cell plays throughout the quiet room. I snatch it off the nightstand and without looking at the caller ID, I answer, “Somebody better be dead.”

A bitter laugh rolls through my earpiece and my stomach clenches. “You might as well call me that.”

My jaw tenses. “What do you want, Dad? I told you to never call me.”

He huffs into the phone. “I would be happy to never speak to your piece of shit ass again, but seeing as how there’s no payment in my bank account yet, I figured I’d better call to make sure you haven’t forgotten about your dear, old Dad.”

I squeeze the phone in my hand. “Nice to know I’m your fucking meal ticket.”

“You listen to me you little bastard. That money better be in my account today, or so help me—”

Blind rage overtakes me and makes me forget Aubrey’s asleep on my chest as I shout, “Or you’ll what? Beat my ass? Sorry old man, but that bridge has long been crossed and we won’t be going back over it. You’re lucky I send shit. One of these days I’m going to tell you to fuck off.”

He laughs. “Idle threats, son. We both know you owe me, so get me my fucking money!”

Before I can get another word in, Dad hangs up on me.

Fucking asshole.

I would give anything to be able to cut him out of my life. He’s an old, bitter man who loves to make me feel like a fuck-up every chance he gets.

Disgusted, I toss my phone back on the nightstand. My eyes shoot down to study Kitten. Not once has she made a move like she’s awake, which is a small miracle from God considering I basically screamed in her ear.

My relationship with my father is something I don’t want anyone to know about, let alone witness first hand. I hate the fact that the guys in the band know about my past at all, but I hate even more that Trip and Tyke were witness to it. I hate people’s fucking sympathy more than anything in the world. I’m a piece of shit and deserve none. I deserve the hell I’ve been through.

Aubrey stirs in my arms, and I tense.

Shit. She probably did hear that after all.

She stretches her slender arms out and yawns before she peers up at me through those sexy, long lashes of hers. She smiles and then snuggles back into me. “Good morning.”

Relief floods me. Surely if she heard that fight she’d be asking me who I was talking too. I’m glad I don’t have to give her some lame-ass lie to try to cover up who I am. I don’t need her knowing I’m a fucked up mess.

“Mornin’. You hungry? I can order us up some room service before we head back to the bus, or maybe we can go another round while we still have some privacy?”

She bites her bottom lip after she runs her tongue across it. “I think another round is definitely called for before breakfast.”

Aubrey rises up and presses her lips to mine.

I really do like the way this girl thinks.

As things start to get good, Aubrey’s cell rings. What the fuck is with all the calls this morning?

She tries to pull away, but I only squeeze her in my arms tighter which causes her to giggle. “Zach, I have to get that. It could be Lanie.”

“Make it quick.” I hold her a second longer before letting her go.

Kitten answers on the fourth ring. “Hello?” Her tone is raspy and slow.

She listens for a few seconds to the person on the other end of the line, and I notice how adorable she is when she tries to concentrate. I lean in and nibble on her neck.

She giggles. “Stop, Riff.”

The use of my stage name causes me to pause. All night long she’s used my real name. Is she calling me that to impress whoever is on the other end of the line? My heart sinks a bit, but I know she has got the right idea. We can’t get in too deep with one another if we only have this short time together.

I kiss a trail down her chest and suck a nipple in my mouth, trying to coax her off the phone and back into my bubble for a little while longer.

“Yes,” she says, breathlessly.

I grin. That yes sounded more like it was for me, than whoever’s on the phone.

Aubrey sighs. “Don’t be mad. We’ll be together all the time in about a week when you come home. Besides you have Noel to play with.”

Ah, she’s talking to Lanie. In that case she definitely needs to get off the phone. The skin on her stomach is so soft against my lips.

Aubrey giggles again when I dip my tongue into her belly button. “But it could be just like that if you’d let it.”

“Why don’t you hang up and let me fuck you again?” I mumble before I suck her clit into my mouth.

She grabs a handful of the sheet and grips it tight. “Um, gotta go, Lanie. Love you.”

She ends the call and tosses her phone to the side. I grin and nip her skin. Victory is mine. Now her full attention is mine.

I shove two fingers inside and begin to work her into a frenzy.

AUBREY

Zach’s bike screams as we roll into the parking lot. He parks us beside the semi-trailer he got the motorcycle from last night.

I peel my arms from around him. “I think you have a death wish.”

He chuckles. “I like life with a little edge is all. Besides, I didn’t drive that fast.”

I hop off the bike and rip the helmet off. “Well, it was fast enough to scare the shit out of me.”

He grins and hooks an arm around my waist and pulls me into him. I straddle his right leg as he still sits on the bike. “What happened to my self-assured wild cat from last night? The one that was fearless?”

I wrap my arms around his neck, and curse myself for letting this thing between us feel so easy. A guy like him can break my heart if I get attached, which is the exact thing I’m trying to avoid from happening again.

I shrug. “I’m trying to wean her out of my system.”

His eyes search mine. “That’s too bad. I like her.”

Him liking my wild side is exactly the reason I need to change it. He’s too similar to all my other exes. They all used me until they were tired of me and tossed me aside like my feelings for them meant nothing. I don’t want to ever be treated like that again, if that means reevaluating my taste in men, so-be-it.

A man like Zach will never settle down and I don’t want to be over thirty and still trying to find a man that will be more than a baby-daddy to me. I need a man that’s into a family for the long haul.

“Wait here while I make sure no one fucks up my bike,” Zach says before kissing me on the cheek and jumping off the bike.

His black t-shirt and faded jeans cling to his sculpted body in the right spots as his strong arms clutch the handles to push the motorcycle to the end of the trailer.

Zach asks the road crew to stash his bike back on the trailer and I glance around the busy parking lot. Behind the scenes of a massive show like this is crazy. People are everywhere. I can’t imagine for one second this crazy world being my life. I don’t know how the guys deal with being surrounded by so many people all the time. It would drive me insane to never have any privacy.

A group of women, some of whom I recognize from standing and waiting for the tour bus to arrive, approach Zach as he supervises the roadies with his bike. A tall, leggy blonde with an obvious paid-for rack caresses his shoulder. Hate twists in my gut when he doesn’t immediately shove her hand away, knowing damn well I can see him.

My body jerks, willing me over to tell the chick to back off, but I instantly stop myself. What the hell am I thinking? He isn’t mine. What we had last night isn’t anything more than a one-night stand. I know that, but it doesn’t stop the jealousy from reaching every nerve in my body when I see him with another women.

I do hold a small amount of satisfaction in knowing I was given permission to call him by his real name, though. Actually, now that I think about it, I probably shouldn’t call him that. That implies we have a certain level of intimacy—one he doesn’t share with the other women he takes to bed. While I don’t want to be grouped with the rest of the women he usually sleeps with, I don’t want him getting any ideas about what we share happening more than this weekend.

Maybe I should set shit straight now.

I approach Zach and the women all stare me down on the way. The blonde doesn’t make a move to remove herself from his side, and he doesn’t seem to mind her there.

“Hey, Riff. I’m going to try to find Lanie. I’ll catch you later,” I tell him with as much confidence as I can muster to show I’m cool with parting ways from him.

I turn on my heel, only to find myself halted with Zach’s arm around my wrist. “You’re not going to wait on me?”

The blonde is no longer at his side, but she stands with her arms folded and her lips in an obvious pout behind him. Zach crinkles his brow as he waits on me to answer.

I stare into his green eyes for a second before my gaze flicks to the pack of groupies waiting on his attention. “No. You seem busy.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t be like that. You’re not jealous, are you?”

I flinch. Am I that easy to read? “No, of course not. I just don’t want to be in your way.”

He cups my face and gives me a quick peck on the lips. “Kitten, you’d never be in my way. I wish you would stay, but if you insist on going inside without me...here. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a golden ticket. “The guys know this means you’re with me and will get you access to all the areas I can be in. Don’t lose it, because I’m not finished with you yet.”

A thrill shoots through me at the idea of spending another night tangled up in his sheets. I smile up at him. “Okay, then. Find me later.”

He gives me a genuine smile before kissing me hungrily right in front of the women standing beside us. After he’s fully satisfied, he lets me go. “That’ll tide me over for a little while.”

He winks at me before he turns and heads into the back of the trailer with the road crew.

I touch my slightly swollen lips with my fingertips and then notice the evil stares I’m receiving from the women he left me alone with. The urge to stick my tongue out at them and sing “Nana-nana-boo-boo” overwhelms me, but I know that will probably end up with me in a fight. So, I decide to take the classy route and turn and walk away.

Two nights with him doesn’t constitute a relationship in any form, merely a man I enjoy having sex with and want to do again before we part ways.

Who the hell am I kidding? If this keeps up, my heart is going to be in some serious danger here. If I’m not careful, I’ll be heading towards the same path I’ve sworn never to go down again.

Chapter 9

AUBREY

Backstage is absolutely insane. Lanie is back here somewhere. I have to find her in this madhouse. I spot her instantly in the crowd. Her beauty stands out everywhere. She has it in her mind that she’s an average looking girl. She never pays attention to the way people look at her. Her flawless skin stands out in her tank top and cut off jean shorts as she does her best to fade into her surroundings and become invisible. She flips her long, brown hair over her shoulder as she turns and I catch her eye.

“Hey, girl!” I wrap her in my arms.

She grins. “Hey, yourself. Nice of you to finally come up for air long enough to visit me for a while.”

I roll my eyes at her. “Don’t hate because I know how to let loose and have a little fun.”

“I bet he got you loose,” she snickers.

I smack her arm. “Oh, my god. I can’t believe you.”

“So, how did it go?”

My eyes roll back in my head. “Riff is amazing. Best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Riff, really? Usually cocky men can’t deliver.”

I shake my head. “This one can.” I hold up six fingers.

She shakes her head. “You two are perfect for each other. You’re both machines.”

I laugh and give her a playful shove. “So you’re telling me nothing happened with you and Noel last night? You two were pretty cozy on the way back.” Lanie sighs dramatically, and I’m instantly thrown into a giggling fit that she’s finally let her guard down with Noel. “I knew it! Tell me!”

Lanie holds her hands up in surrender. “Okay. Okay. Jeesh, get a grip. We kissed.”

I raise my eyebrow. “A kiss? Was it like a polite peck or was it full on tongue I-want-your-body make-out?”

She frowns. “It definitely wasn’t polite.”

A kiss, really? That’s all. “Lanie, god, sometimes I swear for someone so smart, you sometimes act like an idiot. You should be ecstatic right now. Reconnecting with your first love is something people dream about and you’re getting that. I don’t see why you don’t just let loose and let it happen.”

“But the job—”

“But, nothing. Don’t make me give the ‘jobs aren’t everything’ speech. Jobs don’t keep you warm or make you feel sexy, but Noel Falcon totally can. Anyone can see the guy is crazy about you.”

I don’t know why she can’t see that everything she’s ever wanted is right in front of her. What I wouldn’t give for a package of tattooed sexiness to be madly in love with me. Stuff like that only happens in fairy tales, and she’s wasting her chance at pure happiness.

The wheels turn in Lanie’s mind, I can see it all over her face. I stare at her expectantly. “Quit doing that.”

She flinches. “Doing what?”

“Overthinking things. You’ll never know until you let down your walls a little.” I hate it when she gets so uptight she can’t see past the wall she’s built around herself.

She runs her fingers through her hair. “Why are you pushing this? You hated him before.”

I shrug. She’s right. When he called her a ball busting bitch to a crowd of twenty thousand people, I wanted to kill him, but I’ve seen a different side of him now. He was hurt before because she left him once. I can totally relate to having a broken heart. Mine’s been stomped on more times then I care to admit. “Because you’re my best friend, and I love you. I want you to be happy. Plus, he’s not the asshole I thought he was.”

She gives me a weak smile and then wraps her arms around me. It’s good to see I’m getting through to her a little bit. She’ll end up driving him away and then hating herself for it if she doesn’t stop rejecting him.

“Hey now...” We both turn and find Riff staring at us. “Nobody gets this girl’s lovin’ but me.”

I giggle like a giddy kid at Christmas when Riff grabs me up in a hug. “Riff!”

Lane rolls her eyes at us. “On that note, I’m out of here.”

Riff sets me on my feet. “What was all that about?”

I shrug. “Lanie has the tendency to push good things away in her life. Sometimes she needs a little help seeing things clearly, is all.”

He pulls his lips into a tight line. “Maybe not everyone feels like they deserve good things to happen to them.”

“Not Lanie. She’s a good person. She feels like Noel will crush her heart. She still loves him. I can tell.”

He sighs. “Maybe it’s best you not push them together.”

I tilt my head. “Why? They obviously still love each other. What do you know?”

Riff opens his mouth, but quickly closes it, clearly deciding not to spill any details.

“Come on. What’s going on?”

He shakes his head. “Forget it. It’s not my place to say. All I can tell you is us rocker types aren’t meant to be trusted.”

That comment throws me off guard. “You can’t all be bad.”

“Yeah we can, and I’m probably the worst.”

A lump builds in my throat. “Why would you say that to me, Riff?”

“I’m the guy women have fun with, not the one they settle down with. I’m no good for you, Kitten. Trust me. I’m a one man heart-wrecking crew,” he says.

Any doubts that I had in my mind that we could ever be more than this weekend flies from my mind. It can’t be spelled out for me any clearer. So, I need to get my game face back on and look at this for what it is—a purely physical fling.

RIFF

I feel like a douche bag of epic proportions the moment I basically tell Kitten I’m using her only for sex. She doesn’t deserve that from me, but for now it’s the best I can give her. She doesn’t need to get her hopes up that we can be more, because we can’t. I fuck things up too much. It’s only a matter of time before I do something stupid and she ends up hating my ass.

This whole situation is fucking up my head. More than anything I wish I was a good guy, someone worthy of a girl like Kitten. The only thing I can hope for is that one day she’ll find a man that can give her everything she deserves, like monogamy and children. I can’t give her either one of those things.

I shake my head as I finish warming up, trying to forget my screwed up life. Music and sex are the only two things I’ve found that help me do that.

My fingers glide over the strings and I hit a sour note.

Trip slaps me on the back. “What’s with you man? Couldn’t get it up last night?”

“Fuck you, dude,” I snap.

He holds his hands up in surrender. “Easy, I was joking. Chill the fuck out.”

The tension leaves my shoulders. Trip’s been my best friend a long time, and I know he didn’t mean anything by it. “Sorry, bro. I’m a little edgy.”

Trip rolls his eyes. “Not this Sophie shit again? I thought that hot, little redheaded friend of Lanie’s was pulling you out of that slump.”

“This has nothing to do with Sophie. Noel can have her sorry ass. I hope those two assholes are happy together. I hate that he’s stringing Lanie along like this. She seems like a nice girl.”

Trip raises his eyebrow so high it touches the bandanna he has tied around his head. “Are you catching feelings for the redhead?”

“What!? No. You know me better than that.” Damn it. How the fuck would he figure that shit out? Am I catching feelings? Is that why I feel so crazy?

“If you say so, brother. What am I supposed to think? You never spend an entire night holed up in a hotel room with a chick. The way you were lookin’ at her on the bus the other day, it was like you’d been shot by that little fucker in diapers with wings and arrows like in the cartoons. And now you’re concerned about Lanie’s feelings?”

I laugh. “Did you really just talk about Cupid like he’s real?”

“Whatever. Make fun of me all you want. All I know is between you and Noel I don’t know which one of you is chasing the tail harder.”

I shake my head. “Aubrey’s here to have a good time for the weekend. No one’s catching feelings.”

Trip smirks. “Yeah. You keep telling yourself that.”

That smart-ass I-know-everything look he’s got on his face isn’t helping the situation. “A girl like her would never really be into a guy like me.”

“You’re never going to know until you try. It’s okay to have feelings for someone, Riff.”

“Not for me. She can do so much better than me. I know that. Why set myself up for a tragic ending.”

Trip frowns. “I know this is hard to hear, but not every situation is going to end up like—”

I jump up from the amp I’m sitting on. “Don’t even fucking say it.”

“All I’m sayin’ is—”

I set my guitar down and cut him off. “Quit trying to convince me I’m not poison. I’ll ruin her, like I do everything else.”

Trip opens his mouth to start on me again, but I stalk away before he has a chance. He’s been trying to save my worthless ass for years and I wish he would stop and let me be miserable like I deserve. He calls my name a couple times, but I don’t dare look back.

I make my way over to catering and grab a cold beer from the cooler. I twist off the lid and take a long pull. Trip has a way of getting under my skin like no one else.

Several of the opening acts and a slew of groupies sit around the room hanging out in small groups, chatting amongst themselves.

I rub my forehead and close my eyes. Sometimes I really hate the fact that it’s hard to get a moments peace on the road. There’s so much shit inside my head I need to work out in order to feel like I’m not losing my mind over a woman.

“What’s wrong? Blue balls killing you?” Donovan says next to me with a smart-ass snicker.

My eyes snap open and instantly narrow. “You got a fucking problem with me, asshole? Say the word. I beg you. Give me one reason to drop your ass right here, right now.”

Donovan shoves his blonde hair out of his eyes. “Easy, Romeo. I was merely asking for confirmation that you bagged that hot redhead last night since you cock-blocked me.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “I did. What of it?”

He shrugs and then casually reaches down and grabs a beer. “Just curious. I would’ve loved to tap that. It looked tight.”

Before I know what I’ve done, I draw back and blast him square in the face. Screams erupt all around me, but it feels like I’m moving in slow motion. Shock registers on Donovan’s face, and then it twists in anger. Before he gets a chance to land a punch on me, I hit him again with as much force as I can.

Blood pours from his nose and I pull back ready to strike again, but I’m suddenly being yanked away.

Trip hooks my arm and drags me back. “What the fuck are you doing?’

I can’t answer him, because honestly, I’m not sure what came over me. It’s not like it’s the first time he’s razzed me about a woman, but the mention of him wanting to fuck my girl made my brain short circuit.

I shake my head. My girl? What the fuck is wrong with me? She isn’t my girl. Why do these stupid, fucking thoughts keep rolling through me? This girl is driving me insane.

I take a deep breath. “I’m cool, man. You can let go.”

Trip stares at me, while he decides if he can let go or not. After a couple seconds he loosens his grip on my arm. “You going to tell me what that was about?”

I throw my hands on my waist and try to slow my breathing. “He’s just being his normal cocksucker self. What do you want me to say?”

He shakes his head. “I heard what he said. Why don’t you admit it to yourself? You like that girl.”

I open my mouth to protest his accusations, but Trip narrows his eyes. Fuck. I hate it when he tries to go Dr. Phil on my ass. “Even if I did, it can’t happen.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t let it, that’s why!”

“Give people a little credit, Riff. You have to learn to let some in. You let me and Tyke in.”

“Yeah, I let Noel in, too. See how that turned out, right. You and Tyke are the exception. You guys were there before—” I quickly cut myself off. It’s too difficult to even bring up. I hate reliving the past and the fucked up shit I’ve done. It reminds me that I’m a dirt bag.

Trip sighs. “Noel is a fucker, I’ll give you that, but I still don’t believe he did it on purpose. He still swears he doesn’t remember.”

I rub the sides of my shaved head. “I’m so sick of Noel. I want all of that behind me.”

“Then that’s what you do.” I stare at him quizzically. “You move on. Let that hate and anger go and focus on something good for a change. Like the redhead. She seems very positive if you ask me.” I scowl and Trip laughs. “See! I knew it! You’re catching feelings. Admit it and go after her.”

That’s the problem when you’ve been friends with someone since grade school. They know you too damn well. “Okay. Fine. I’ll see where this thing goes.”

Trip grins. “I should’ve been a shrink instead of a drummer.”

I shove his shoulder. “That would’ve worked if you could read.”

He laughs and then gives me the finger. “I would’ve just banged a geek and got her to do all my work. I would’ve found a way through.”

I roll my eyes. “You are so messed up.”

AUBREY

Standing on the side of the stage and watching the guys perform to a sold out crowd is amazing. This truly is the best seat in the house. Riff’s guitar screams a sexy note as he wiggles his tongue at the crowd. My face heats as I allow my mind to drift back to all the amazing things he can do with that thing.

My cell buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out, hoping it’s Lanie explaining where the hell she is. She was supposed to meet me over here so I wouldn’t have to stand here alone like an idiot.

Lanie: Sorry. Went on to Mom’s I’ll be back before we head out to say goodbye. Didn’t figure you’d miss me since Riff seems like pretty good company. ;) A winky face, Lanie, really? I shake my head. She’s a goofball, but she knows me too well.

I was supposed to go visit my folks tonight, too. That was the purpose for meeting up here in our home state, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. I promised Riff one more night.

As soon as the set is over, the guys all head my way. Trip and Tyke hig-five me before heading out of sight.

Sweat lines every inch of Riff’s skin as he approaches. He obviously gives everything he has in a show.

“You were amazing,” I tell him as soon as he’s close enough to hear.

“Thanks! It’s a rush being out there.”

I nod. “I can tell.”

Noel approaches us. “You seen Lane?”

I shake my head. “No, but she did text me, telling me she already left for her Mom’s house.”

Noel furrows his brow. “She didn’t wait on me? I was supposed to go with her.”

I shrug. “I’m not sure what she’s doing.”

He runs his hands through his sweaty hair. “Okay, guys, catch you all later. I’m going to try and find her.”

Riff watches his band mate retreat. “He’s lost his mind.”

“I think it’s kind of sweet he’s so into her.”

He turns his piercing eyes on me. “You wouldn’t think that if you knew the things I knew about him.”

“What do you mean?”

Riff shakes his head. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything. Come on. I need a shower.”

He grabs my hand and tries to tug me along with him, but I plant my feet firmly. “You can’t say something like that and then blow it off. Lanie’s my best friend. If he’s going to hurt her, I want to know.”

He sighs. “What Noel does is his business. I’m not getting in the middle of it.”

“Are you saying you have secrets?”

Riff frowns and touches my cheek. “We all have secrets, Kitten. Even you. I’m not going to try to pretend that we know everything about each other, but it’s a fact of life. No one discloses every piece of information about themselves to someone else. It’s not human nature.”

He’s right. Everyone has something they don’t want others to know. Just like the information I know about this charity project. It kills me I can’t tell Lanie the truth and I’m thankful she hasn’t brought it up to me since I’ve been here. I don’t know if I could hide that from her once we’re face to face.

“Something wrong?” he asks.

I shake my head. “Just thinking about how you’re right.”

A sad smile plays on his lips. “Come on. Enough lingering on life lessons. Let’s go do something fun.”

I raise an eyebrow. “What do you have in mind?”

Riff gives me that wicked grin he’s famous for. “Something that ends with me inside you.”

Oh dear God. Every hormone in my body nearly convulses at his words. That man knows exactly what to say to nearly cause me to lose my mind.

Chapter 10

RIFF

Cruising around the dark streets of Dallas on my bike with Aubrey wrapped around me feels like freedom. I love my job. The money’s great and so are the chicks, but I never really feel at peace.

While I would love to spend another night locked away in my hotel room with her, I figure a little excitement is in order. I told Trip I’m going to see where this goes, so to show her that maybe I can be more than just sex to her, I’m taking her out.

We pass by a small bar with a neon light shining from the window. Perfect. We can grab a beer and chat and won’t have to worry about fans or that fucker Donovan starting shit. I want some one-on-one time to see where this girl’s head is.

I back my bike against the curb and throw down the kickstand. Aubrey hops off and yanks the helmet from her head while I readjust my backwards baseball cap.

I catch myself almost mesmerized by her as she runs her fingers through her hair. I don’t remember feeling this way after I bagged a girl before. Ever. Usually, after the initial humping, they lose their allure. Not Aubrey. All I can think about when I look at her are ways to keep her around longer.

She throws her hands on her hips. “What exactly are we doing here?”

I stand and store the helmet. “I figured we could get a beer and get to know each other a little better.”

The corners of her mouth turn up. “I thought that’s what we did last night.”

I shake my head and pull her against me. “Last night we fucked, and I still haven’t gotten you out of my system, so I’m left with one alternative.”

A blush washes over her cheeks. “What’s that?”

I shrug. “To see if this thing between us can ever go anywhere.”

“Riff...”

If she’s about to give me the reasons why this can never work between us, I don’t want to hear them. “Before you say anything, give me the weekend. We only have tonight and tomorrow, and if you end up hating my guts by the time you leave, then you never have to see me again.”

Kitten pulls her lips into a tight line. “Okay, then.”

“Yeah?” I hug her to me. “One more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“In public, around the band and the fans, I don’t mind you calling me Riff, but everywhere else I want you to call me Zach.” It’s a weird request. The name she calls me shouldn’t matter, but it does. If I’m going to step out of my comfort zone and see if this can go somewhere, than I want it to be as real as possible. I don’t want her to like me for Riff, my stage persona and all that it entails. I want her to like me for Zach—the fucked up guy with loads of problems.

She’ll probably be running for the hills this time tomorrow.

I lead her into the small bar. Her tiny hand fits perfectly in mine as I hold it causally at my side. The bar is dark, with only the light over the bar providing light around the room. A few older men sit with their shoulders slumped at the bar talking to the bartender. This is exactly the atmosphere I’m hoping for. Nice and secluded.

A fairly modern juke box plays an old-school country song as we make our way over to the bar.

The thirty-something bartender raises an eyebrow and shoves her brown hair over her shoulder. “IDs?”

It’s been a long time since I’d been carded to drink. It’s nice to know she’s completely oblivious as to who I am.

After she’s double-checked them, she asks, “What can I get you?”

I turn to Aubrey. “Ladies choice?”

She smiles. “Two Budweisers, please.”

The bartender nods and meanders off to get our drinks. I lean against the bar as I wait with Aubrey. She’s looking exceptionally beautiful tonight. Her long, red hair falls around her shoulders in loose waves and the green halter-top she’s wearing accentuates her fantastic rack.

She grins at me when she catches me staring at her tits. “You see something you like?”

I laugh. “I’m trying to determine if it’s your ass or your tits I like best. I’m usually a breast man, but your ass in those jeans...I literally want to bite it.”

She giggles. “I think you already did once or twice last night.”

I run my fingertips down the length of her arm. “And I can’t wait to do it again.”

Memories of last night flood me, and she’s right. I do remember giving her love bites on that tasty, little booty. My dick twitches at the thought of getting her naked again and I reposition my legs.

I’m about to say screw talking and let’s get back to fucking when the bartender hands us our beers. “That’ll be seven fifty.”

I pull out my wallet. “No tab in this place?”

The brunette shakes her head and glances down at my tattooed forearms. “Not to strangers.”

If only I can tell her I can buy this place with the swipe of my debit card, but that would make me seem like an arrogant jackass, not to mention blow my cover.

I lay down two fifty dollar bills. “This should cover us for a while.”

She picks them up and holds them up to the light as we turn and take a seat at the end of the bar. Kitten sits on one side of the corner and I on the opposite side so we can sort of face each other.

She takes a sip of her beer and stares at me expectantly. “So what do you want to know about me?”

I swallow hard. This is a totally new experience for me. The confidence I typically have falls away from me. “I, um, I don’t know. How about we start with why you decided to give me a chance.”

She picks at the label on her bottle. “I’m not really sure. It goes against everything I came down here to do.”

I lean back in my chair. Interesting. “Exactly what were your intentions when you hooked up with me?”

She hooks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m almost embarrassed to say.”

“I’ve already seen you naked. There’s no shame between us anymore, Kitten. Spill.”

She takes another sip and my stomach clenches. Whatever she’s about to say is going to suck. I can tell by all the tension in her body.

After a couple long seconds, she sighs. “You’re sort of my last hurrah.”

I scrunch my brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“My mother has been on my case to quit going after your type.”

I raise my pierced eyebrow. “My type?”

A blush creeps over her cheeks. “Yeah, you know. The bad boy. The assholes. Guys that are notorious for breaking hearts.”

I hate the idea that there were jerks before me that couldn’t see how amazing she is. Not saying that I’d be any better, but at least I recognize something special when it’s in front of me. It makes me want to show her even more that I am worth a shot.

“So what changed your mind?” I ask.

She bites her lip and stares at me through those innocent eyes of hers. I hold my breath as I wait on her reply.

AUBREY

Zach’s quest for answers takes me by surprise. I never imagined that he would ever be interested in more—seems like I’m definitely standing out to him.

He waits patiently for me to reply. I know I can make or break a relationship we might have with what I say.

I shrug. “I can’t explain it. I feel like there’s a connection between us...”

He frowns. “But? That sentence sounds like there’s a ‘but’ coming.”

“My family is a little...uptight.”

“What does your family have to do with us?”

My eyes drift from his pierced eyebrow to the bulging muscles in his tattooed forearms.

He stiffens. “Are you saying you’re afraid of what they would think of me because of the way I look?”

I bite my lip. “It’s not just your appearance. Your career...”

He tips his bottle up finishing his beer and then signals to the bartender for another. “I know you’re too good for me. Trust me. I know this, but I think if you give me a chance. I’m great at charming moms.”

I reach over and touch his hand. “I’m not saying this to be mean. I think you’re an amazing person, but I’ve been hurt by men before. I’ve never really had a good relationship. My mom, she’s been there after each heartbreak to help pick up the pieces. She’s been telling me for years to find a nice guy—one that will love me and be there for me—to settle down with. After the last man I dated crushed me, I’ve decided she’s right. If I want to be happy I think I need to change things.”

He traces patterns on the back of my hand with his finger. “So you want to hide the person you truly are? You think that will make you happy?”

I shrug. “It’s better than being miserable all the time.”

Neither of us says anything for a couple of moments. Being completely honest with someone is draining. I can’t tell what he’s thinking, but I can tell by the slight slump in his shoulders that he’s disappointed. If we lived in the same city and he wasn’t a famous rock star with temptations of other women in his face constantly, I might be more into the idea of having a relationship with him. But as it is, I can’t go through heartbreak again. I might not make it through another.

“You’re right,” he says. “I’m probably not that guy you’re looking for. I’m not the white picket fence kind of guy. Things between us would probably end eventually.”

Even though this is basically what I said to him, it doesn’t lessen the pain of rejection. I fight back my emotions and give him a casual smile. “Good. I’d still like to spend more time with you and end this thing as friends.”

He pulls his lips into a tight line before he picks up his beer and clinks it to mine. “Friends it is.”

Even though I’m getting exactly what I asked for, why do I have this pit of disappointment in my stomach?

“Well if this weekend is the end for us, I saw something a couple shops down I want to buy for you,” he says with a wicked grin as he grabs my hand.

The look on his face tells me it’s not a souvenir keychain. “What is it?”

He shrugs. “Something I want you to keep an open mind to.”

We leave the bar and head out into the cool Texas night air. Zach’s long, guitar playing fingers wrap around mine as we walk hand in hand down the street past all the little shops. A glowing white sign with red letters catches my eye. It simply says Naughty Land on it.

I instantly giggle as he holds open the door for me. “A sex shop? Really?”

He bites his lip toying with his lip ring. “You seem to be down with the kinky sex last night, so I figure we get the right equipment this round.”

Intrigued by him, I ask, “What do you have in mind?”

We step inside and my eyes widen. There’s everything from battery-operated boyfriends to full on bondage beds lining every inch of this place. “Wow.”

He steps behind me when I walk into a secluded aisle and places his hands on my bare shoulders. “Wow as in your down for some of this, or wow like you’re scared to death of it?”

I shake my head. “I’m not scared.”

“Then prove it,” he growls in my ear. “Find something you want to try out and we’ll buy it. Since this is my last time with you, I want to pull out all the stops and give you the fantasy fucking you’ve always dreamed of.”

I swallow hard. His sexual forwardness in combination with the sight of all this stuff is enough to cause me to get a little wet.

He allows his fingers to trail down my arm and then down my waist before finally finding their way onto my ass. He squeezes it with enough force to let me know he means business as he grinds himself into me backside. “I want back inside you. Feel this? This is what you do to me.”

The hard length of him presses into my back through his jeans. I lay my head back on his shoulder and let out a soft moan. The things this man does to me.

“That’s it. Now keep this feeling in mind and go find us something to play with.”

Before I can say anything else, he pulls away, leaving me panting. A cold rush of air fills the space against my back where his body used to be and reality sets in that I was so turned on for a moment I was just about ready to fuck him right here in this store.

I walk around the room and pass all the vibrators. I don’t have any problems having an orgasm with Zach, so I don’t feel like those will be exciting enough for us. The sex game boards don’t interest me either, so I drift over towards the fetish section.

A black riding crop catches my attention and I think about how much Zach enjoyed being blindfolded last night and how something like this could be fun.

“You ever used one of these?” he asks, startling me.

I shake my head. “No, but it looks interesting.”

“They can be fun if you know how to use them the right way.”

“H—how...what’s the right way?” Even I can hear the uncertainty in my voice.

He takes one off the rack. “I’ll show you.”

After he pays for the equipment and we ride back over to the hotel. We barely make it through the room door before we’re all over each other. He kisses my lips and neck while he strips away all my clothes and then his own.

He pulls the crop out of the bag and rips it from the package. “Use this on me.”

“I don’t think I can,” I whisper.

He places a finger under my chin. “You want to dominate. I saw it last night with the blindfold game.”

“I failed miserably at that. I was thinking, maybe...” Gah! This is harder to ask for than I thought. “You could use it on me.”

He bites his bottom lip and flicks the ring between his teeth. “You’re so fucking sexy it hurts. Do you know that?” He kisses my lips. “Go bend over and put your elbows on the bed.”

I make my way over to the bed and do what he asks. I feel a little self-conscious with my ass sticking in the air. “Like this?”

“Exactly like that.” He gets behind me and rubs the curve of my ass before giving it a little swat with this bare hand. “I love how secretly naughty you are.”

The contact stings a bit at first, but then an intense pleasure fills me. “Oooh.”

He grabs me around the waist and leans over my back to whisper in my ear. “I knew you were a bad girl. You need a good spanking, don’t you?”

I chew the inside of my lip, but don’t answer unsure of what to say.

“If you want me to keep going you need to tell me you want this,” he says roughly.

I don’t want him to stop so I say it. “Spank me.”

He growls as he kisses my shoulder and then pulls back to give me another little smack, only this time he uses the crop. It has more of a sting than his hand does. I whimper as he smacks me again.

“Do you like that?” he asks. “Do you want me to keep going?”

“Don’t stop,” is all I can manager to say as I bite my lip.

“Spread your legs more.”

A couple minutes later he bends down behind me and flicks my clit with his tongue. His fingers slip inside me as he begins to work me up into a frenzy. My breathing quickens and a moan escapes my lips as I teeter right on the edge. Right before I do he stops and stands at my side. He wraps one arm around my waist as his hard cock pokes me in the belly.

He takes the crop and smacks it against my folds. At first it’s gentle and then he quickens the pace and every nerve in my body starts vibrating.

“Yes! Oh, god, Zach!” I cry out as I have one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had.

While I’m still on my high, he flips me over onto the bed and pulls my hips towards him. He shoves his cock inside me and I grab handfuls of the comforter as he works his way deeper.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he rasps as he grabs my thighs and pounds into me.

My toes curl as his steady rhythm pushes me into a second orgasm. I grab his wrist and arch my back as I come hard a second time with him deep inside me.

He stares into my eyes. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Zach’s eyes watch me intently as he licks his lips and works towards his own release. A shine of sweat covers his bare chest and face. His tattooed forearms bulge as he grips my legs tighter.

He closes his eyes. “Fuck!”

All the muscles in his body tighten as he comes while he’s deep within me. This is one man that knows how to please a woman. I would love to keep him around longer because he has the power to make me feel so damn good, but I know too much of a good thing can also be bad.

We pull up to the parking lot where Big Bertha is waiting on his bike. The sun’s nearly set, so I know it’s getting late and almost time to say goodbye to Zach. The parking lot is a ghost town, a vast difference from when we were here last time after Black Falcon’s show.

After the bike is parked we head inside the bus. I set my overnight bag down and look around the empty place. At first, I thought we were alone because I didn’t see anyone around. I assume the twins are still out partying somewhere while Lanie and Noel are probably still at her mom’s place. I set my bag down on the floor and pause the instant I hear a moan come from the bedroom.

“Oh my god!” I whisper harshly. “Should we leave? I don’t want to interrupt if someone’s back there.”

Zach shakes his head. “The only person allowed to have chicks back there is Noel. We don’t cross the boundary of sex in each other’s beds. Sometimes it’s weeks before our sheets get washed.”

“Gross.”

He shrugs. “I know. We might as well make ourselves comfortable.”

He plops down in the love seat and tugs me down with him. Even though I know this isn’t going anywhere, it feels nice to snuggle with him. I lay my head on his chest as he wraps his arms around me.

I close my eyes. “I’m going to miss this.”

“Me too,” he whispers into my hair before kissing the top of my head.

As I start to drift off, I hear the bedroom door open and then close. Lanie tip-toes down the hallway in what I imagine is Noel’s shirt. A grin fills my face. I knew she was still in love with that man. I’m glad she’s finally let herself feel something for him.

Lanie tilts her head and raises her eyebrows as she stares at Zach and me. I open my mouth to call her out, but she heads right into the kitchen and does her best to ignore me.

“Come on,” Zach says as he stands and then pulls me up with him.

We take a few steps and sit back down on the bench seat at the table.

Lanie squats down and looks through the cabinets. The fabric from Noel’s shirt is big enough that it hangs down over her thighs, but it still shows a ton of skin. She fidgets with the material while searching the shelves.

Zach smirks as he stands and reaches into the overhead cabinet next to the sink. He lets the door bang shut and chuckles when Lanie jumps at the sound. He sits next to me again with a package full of Oreos. Lanie eyeballs the blue package of cookies when he sets them on the table. I can practically see her mouth water from here.

“Make yourself useful and grab us some milk from the fridge,” Zach says to Lanie. “I always keep it in there. The guys know better than to take my stuff.”

She grabs the a gallon of two percent white milk and sets it on the counter before she searches for a couple of glasses.

“There should be some plastic cups on the top shelf, above the sink,” Zach informs her while she pokes around in the cabinets.

There’s only one cup left in the bag when she holds it up. Her smile deflates as she pours the milk into it and walks over to the table. She sets the cup down, and slides into the seat across from us.

He pushes the package across the table to her after handing me a cookie. “You don’t want some milk, too?”

She shrugs and pulls out a cookie. “Only one cup.”

Zach smiles and puts his cup in the middle of the table so we can all use it. “We can share it—no double dipping. I heard where your mouth’s been.”

I smack his arm and give her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Lanie, but you were kind of loud.”

Her face flushes, like it never occurred to her that she’s loud enough for anyone to hear her and Noel having sex.

Zach chuckles and dunks a cookie in the milk. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, it was fucking hot. Noel’s one lucky son of a bitch.”

I giggle and then he winks at Lanie, which only makes me laugh harder and nearly choke on my food.

She covers her face with her hand. “Oh, god.”

Zach bites into his cookie. “You say that a lot, don’t you?”

Lanie’s head snaps up. “Can we please stop talking about this? It’s not exactly the kind of conversation I should be having with you guys.”

He shrugs. “You know, about the ticket thing, I’m sorry. You did try to blow me off. I didn’t think you meant it. I thought it was your angle.”

“My angle?”

Zach nods. “Most chicks play games with me. You weren’t the first girl who tried to play the hard-to-get card with me. I figured you read one of my interviews where I said that turned me on.”

She dips a cookie in the milk, too. “An interviewer actually asked what your turn-ons were?”

“You wouldn’t believe some of the shit we get asked. Noel gets the worst of it, though, being the front man and all. People are constantly trying to dig things up on him, but he’s good at keeping his life secret.”

“It’s not like Noel has a lot of dirt to find,” Lanie answers a little defensively.

He raises his eyebrows. “How long has it been since you dated him?”

“A little over four years. Why?”

Zach looks away from her and takes out another cookie. “A lot can happen in four years, Lanie.”

There he goes with that damn secret. I wish he would tell her what he’s doing so she can deal with it before she gets in deep with him. Hopefully whatever he’s hiding isn’t a deal breaker.

She shrugs. “I’m sure Noel isn’t intentionally hiding things from me. We all have our pasts and secrets we don’t want people to know.”

My stomach tenses as the secret I’m keeping from her crosses my mind. I’m still having serious doubts if I’m doing the right thing by hiding it from her.

Zach’s eyes scan her face like things are clicking for him. “We most certainly do.”

He pops the last Oreo in his mouth. His gaze never leaves Lanie. He’s waiting for more questions, but she never asks and neither do I—even though it’s killing me to find out.

Zach looks at me before standing beside the table and sticking his hand out to Lanie. “Truce?”

She smiles as his large fingers wrap around her hand. “Truce. I would like that. We should be friends since you and Aubrey...you know.”

He glances over at me and wiggles his eyebrows. “Oh yeah, I know. Friends it is.”

When Zach leaves the room, I turn in Lanie’s direction. I smirk at her and she shakes her head. “Don’t you shake your head at me, missy. I told you all about mine, now it’s your turn to dish. It sounded like it was incredible!”

She pinches the bridge of her nose. “Aubrey...”

I hate when she does this to herself. I yank her hands away from her face. “Stop it. Don’t be embarrassed. You had a good time—nothing wrong with that, Lanie. So, tell me, does he get his Sex-god title back now?”

She rolls her eyes and smiles.

I smack the tables and grin. “I knew it. That guy is sex on a stick.”

I hang out with my best friend and my lover on the bus until it’s ready to head to the next stop on the tour. We eat Oreos and tell jokes until it starts getting late and the twins make their way back onto the bus. This weekend was one of the best I’ve had in a long time. I don’t want it to end, but I know I can’t stay. I have a life, and a job waiting for me back in New York.

I rub my forehead as I take a look at my friend. I debate on telling her about Diana Swagger’s plans and how Isaac is working on the charity.

“Something wrong?” Zach asks.

I glance over at him and smile. “No, everything is fine.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulders as his eyes search my face. In the small amount of time I’ve spent with him he’s shocked me. He’s nothing like I expected. He’s caring. It makes me wonder why he hasn’t settled down and what he’s hiding.

Tyke glances out the window. “Taxi’s here.”

He sighs and leans his forehead into my cheek. “I guess I should walk you out.”

I nod. “I’d like that.”

I stand and then lean down and wrap my best friend in a hug. “I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

She squeezes me tighter. “Love you, too.”

Zach grabs my bag and takes me by the hand as I tell the rest of the band goodbye. My feet are heavy as I make my way down the steps. I hate goodbyes. I hate them even more when I’m not sure if I’m ever going to see someone again.

The cab driver hops out of the car and takes my bag from Zach before popping open the truck.

Zach grabs both of my hands in his and we face each other. “So...this is it?”

I nod and fight back the sting in my eyes. “Yeah. I think so.”

He glances down at the pavement beneath our feet. “Can I still message you since we’re friends?”

A tear drips down my cheek as I smile. “I’d like that.” Without thinking I throw my arms around his neck and breathe in his scent one last time. “I’m going to miss you.”

He stiffens in my arms and hugs me tighter against him. “I’ll miss you more.”

Before I turn into a puddle right here on the ground, I shove myself away from him and hop in the cab. I never imagined saying goodbye to him would be so difficult. I press my hand onto the glass as I say goodbye.

My heart crushes as the driver pulls away, leaving Zach standing in the parking lot with his hands shoved in his pockets. There’s a pained expression on his face and I fight back the sob that’s threatening to expose how sad I am about leaving him. Our eyes lock, and we don’t break out stare until the cab turns the corner and he’s out of my sight forever.

Chapter 11

RIFF

My fingers tangle and I hit the wrong chord as Noel and Lanie pass by hand in hand. She grins up at him like he’s perfect and he has the biggest smile on his face.

That shit isn’t fucking fair. I want to out him so bad. Assholes like us don’t deserve happiness.

Trip catches me staring as he twirls his drumstick in his fingers. He shakes his head. “Don’t do it, dude. Nothing good will come out of you getting involved.”

“I’m going to tell her.”

Tyke looks up from his base. “Tell who, what?”

Trip looks at his brother. “Riff wants to tell Lanie about Sophie.”

Tyke frowns. “I have to go with Trip on this one. Stay out of it.”

“You guys don’t get it.” I go back to working the strings on my guitar.

They don’t understand what it feels like to want something you can’t have. They’ve never been through real emotional pain. I don’t want Lanie to go through that if she doesn’t have to. Sure, it’ll hurt no matter when she finds out Noel’s keeping a secret baby from her, but it’ll hurt even more once she’s got a ton of time invested in this relationship.

Noel approaches us as we get ready for our set. “Hey, guy. I’ve got some news.”

“Oh, joy,” I say, sarcasm thick in my voice.

He quickly cuts me a look before continuing. “I got a call to visit a sick kid out in Arizona for a charity.”

“That’s awesome, bro. When do you leave?” Tyke asks.

“Tonight, right after the show.”

My wheels start to turn. “Is Lanie going with you?”

Noel shakes his head. “No. She’s actually going to stay on the bus with you guys for the night. Can I trust you all to look after her?”

I roll my eyes. I know that little dig is a warning for me to stay away from her, but what he doesn’t know is I’m not interested in her for that any more. It will, on the other hand, be the perfect opportunity to share with her a certain secret our fearless leader has been keeping from her.

Trip snickers. “You mean can you trust us not to try and sleep with her? Yeah. I think we’re all pretty clear she’s your girl after all the times we’ve heard her scream your name.”

Noel grins. “She does do that a lot.”

I turn my back and try to block out the love fest over Noel’s sex life going on behind me. That fucker doesn’t even know how good he has it.

The crowd screams as I play the signature riff of our biggest hit song. I love this. The energy the fans throw out to us rocks me to the soul. There’s nothing like being in the moment and having thirty thousand people sing the words to our songs in unison.

Noel brings the mic close to his lips. “This next song goes out to the girl who shredded my heart without hesitation back in high school. It’s called Ball Busting Bitch, and Lanie, this one’s for you.”

I shake my head and laugh. He has balls, I’ll give him that. I’m surprised he even uses that line in the show now that she’s back. If I were Lanie I would throat punch him for talking shit about me to the world.

We play together in perfection. Noel hits every note and the rest of us play the shit out of our instruments. The guitar solo is my favorite part of this song. I love the way it screams like a scorned woman telling her lover to take a flying leap.

The song wraps up and I fling black guitar picks with our band name into the crowd. It’s amazing to see the fans fight over something because one of us touched it. It really solidifies that we are actually pretty fucking cool.

I hand the roadies my guitar and head off the stage. On the other side of the amps stands a tall blonde in a skin-tight, black mini skirt. She grins at me and then twirls a piece of hair around her finger as I come within a couple feet of her.

I know what she wants, but I’ve kind of lost all interest in the band, gigs, and even chicks since Kitten left. I’ve not handed out one golden ticket since we hooked up because I experienced a connection with her. I’m actually starting to worry that she’s ruined me for all other women.

The only time my dick gets hard now is when I think of her and our nights together.

I walk past the blonde and she grabs my arms as I pass by. “Riff, can I get your autograph?”

I sigh. “Sure. You have a pen?”

She bites her pouty, bottom lip. “I was hoping maybe you’d sign me in a more intimate place.”

Typically I’d be all over this shit. She’s practically begging for it and I know she’d do anything I want. Maybe even anal if I wanted.

I shake my head. “Not tonight. I’ve got other plans.”

She studies me for a long moment. “Too bad. Can I go back to your bus anyhow? Maybe one of the other guys—”

I don’t give her time to finish her sentence because I’m not in the fucking mood. Trip and Tyke are perfectly capable of finding their own ass for the night. They don’t need my help for that.

After grabbing some food and hanging out with the twins for a bit I head off to find some peace and quiet. I make it to the sanctuary of the bus. I gather some clean clothes and head into the shower. While I’m in there, the distinct sound of Lanie and Noel going at each other pours through the thin walls.

All the noises make me think of Kitten. I wonder what she’s doing right now or who she’s with. I haven’t talk to her since we left Dallas. I’ve been tempted to message her, but stop myself every time. I don’t want to seem like a weepy sap and beg her to be with me another night. She made it very clear I’m no good for her and that we should stay friends.

The only problem is we can never be friends. People don’t keep daydreaming about fucking their friends.

I towel off and get dressed before making my way to the kitchen. Tyke and Trip are playing the Xbox, battling over gamer supremacy as I grab my Oreos and milk. The guys go at it as I enjoy my most relaxing snack. Watching the cookie dip into the milk reminds me of Hailey every time I do it.

God, I miss her. What I wouldn’t give to have her back.

Before I get too swept up in my thoughts, Mike climbs inside the bus. “Where’s Noel? I’ve been waiting nearly a half hour.”

I grin. This is the perfect time to piss him off. “Let me go get him.”

I bang on the bedroom door when I get to the end of the hall. I wait a couple seconds and when I don’t hear any movement I fling open the door and barrel through.

My eyes widen as they land directly on Lanie’s naked breasts. She screeches at the top of her lungs as she attempts to cover up her shirtless chest.

Noel protectively wraps his arms around her. "What the fuck, dude? I didn’t say come in."

"Sorry, bro. Didn't know you were..." My eyes slide down her body and a slow grin spreads across my face. Busted. "...busy."

Noel's eyes narrow. "Well, now you know. So get the fuck out."

I glance over at Lanie’s horrified face and then turn my attention back to Noel. "Just thought you would want to know your ride to the airport has been waiting for almost twenty-five minutes, but I can see you’re busy. I'll tell them to piss off."

A heavy sigh leaves Noel's mouth. "Thanks, man. Tell them I'll be out in a second."

I raise my eyebrows and make a show of trying to be the non-asshole out of the two of us. "You sure? If I were you, I think I’d make them wait."

Noel’s fingers roll into fists. "Yeah. Now get the fuck out."

I close the door behind me after shrugging and mumbling, “You’re the boss,” under my breath.

Noel has absolutely no plans of telling Lanie about Sophie. He’s going to ride this ocean of lies as long as he can. Well, I’ve got news for him, this shark is about to ruin his perfect wave.

AUBREY

I check my cell for the tenth time in the last hour. Isaac has me working overtime with him on Noel’s charity since I came back from Texas. Markers and storyboards clutter his normal tidy office. I’ve never seen it in such disarray.

Isaac himself appears more casual. His suit jacket hangs on the back of his high-back chair and his white button up shirt has the top two buttons undone while his tie hangs loose. The sleeves are shoved to nearly his elbows, exposing his defined forearms.

He shoves his hand into his thick blonde hair and lets out a loud sigh. “I’m stumped. I think I need a change of scenery to get the brain firing again.”

I collect my notepad from the chair beside me. “I think calling it a night is a good idea. I’m beat.”

Isaac shoves his glasses up his nose. “I was thinking more like we should go get a drink somewhere.”

I raise my eyebrows and alarms go off in my head, but I figure what the hell. “Sure.”

“Great.” He smiles. “Let’s go.”

We catch a cab over to the Flatiron Lounge. Isaac and some other big wigs at the firm like to frequent this place after work. I’ve heard some big deals have gone down in this place. The area is tight, like most spaces in New York, but the atmosphere is nice. The lights are turned down, but it’s still bright enough to see everything clearly. Patrons sit closely at the bar and at small tables, talking amongst themselves.

The evening crowd is mostly dressed in clothes to go out. Women wear trendy cocktail dresses while the men still have dress shirts and slacks on. Isaac fits in perfectly, but me on the other hand could’ve used a shower and fresh clothes. My pencil skirt is wrinkled from hours of assisting my boss on the charity project that’s supposed to belong to my best friend.

I frown. I need to talk to her about this soon. Things are spinning out of control quickly, and if I don’t get some input from her now, this won’t be her project at all.

“Something wrong?” Isaac asks while peering at me through his square, black framed glasses.

His blue eyes search mine and I debate telling him how bad I feel about keeping this from Lanie, but decide against it. I’m sure he’s sick of hearing about this by now.

I smile. “No. Everything is fine.”

He takes my hand and leads me to the bar. The small gesture surprises me, but I don’t pull away. It’s actually kind of nice.

We place our order—our hands still connected, and then take our drinks to the nearest open table. He lets go of me and sweeps his hand in front of him, indicating for me to sit first. I slide into the long couch and Isaac sits next to me. We face the bar, both sipping on our drinks. It feels a little awkward now that we’re here together and held hands. I’m not sure if that even meant anything.

Isaac clears his throat. “Is this the first time you’ve been here?”

I nod. “Yes. It’s nice though.”

“I like it, too.”

Another moment of awkward silence follows and I take a drink.

A couple at the end of the bar catches my attention. The man stands out among the suit wearing types with his black shirt and multiple ear piercings. I smile. He must be lost.

I bite my bottom lip as my thoughts drift back to Zach and how much he would stand out in a place like this too. It’s only been a couple days since I saw him, and I know I said I only wanted friendship from him, but I miss him. The easy smile he wears when we’re together—the never stagnant conversations. Things with him felt so easy, which is hard to explain because we don’t really know a damn thing about each other. Well, other than every inch of each other’s bodies.

“It’s good to get out of the office. It really helps me to refocus when I’m stumped on a project to get some fresh air, so to speak,” Isaac says as he leans back into the booth. “I’m glad you came with me.”

I smile. “I’m glad you invited me.”

I pause. Am I glad? I mean, this is the kind of man I said I needed to settle down with and I am completely flattered by his attention, but that doesn’t stop the fact that two seconds ago I was thinking about how I actually missed another man.

Isaac raises his arm and rests it along the back of the booth behind me. “That’s good news. You’re a really hard one to read. I wasn’t sure if you would agree to a date with me.”

I raise an eyebrow and cross my legs in his direction. “I wasn’t aware this was a date.”

A bashful grin fills his handsome face. “I’d like it to be if that’s okay with you.”

He’s a good man with a level head on his shoulders. He would be a stable choice and probably wouldn’t hurt me like most guys I date. This should be a no-brainer. Why do I feel so hesitant?

Before I can think on it any longer, my cell vibrates on the table. “Sorry, let me grab this.”

Lanie’s text pops up on my screen. She’s sad Noel’s leaving her for the night. I respond and tell her to get some much needed sleep while he’s gone because I’m sure she’s going to need her strength when he gets back.

My cell buzzes again and I roll my eyes. She always has to have the last word.

The moment my eyes scan my phone my breath hitches. An instant message from Riff pops onto my screen.

Riff: Kitten, I miss you. What are you doing right now?

Guilt floods through me while my gaze darts to Isaac. Zach misses me. That’s got to count for something, right? Maybe he isn’t the one-night stand kind of guy? Did I do the right thing blowing him off? I was only trying to protect myself from getting hurt, and yet I fear I made a bit of a mistake.

I wish I knew for certain we’d work out. I don’t want to go through heartbreak of being dumped yet again. A man like Zach can’t be trusted.

Isaac tilts his head. “You all right?”

I run my fingers through my hair and close my eyes. “Yeah. Totally fine.”

The only way I’m going to get over the passion I felt in Zach’s arms is to move on. Contact with each other will only scratch at the tiny opening of hurt I already feel. I need to end it.

Aubrey: I’m on a date...

Before I can toss my phone back on the table, it buzzes again.

Riff: Do you like him?

I sigh as I reply.

Aubrey: Too early to tell at this point.

What’s with the twenty questions he’s throwing at me?

Riff: I bet he can’t make you scream his name out like I can.

I shake my head.

Aubrey: Friends don’t talk to each other like this...

Hopefully that reminds him of the little conversation we had at the bar.

Riff: Fuck being friends, then. I want you.

I feel a blush creep into my cheeks. He’s knows exactly what to say in order to get to me. A forceful man that isn’t afraid to go after what he wants is my biggest weakness. I guess it’s why I’m always falling for the wrong type of man. Guys like that don’t think about consequences or futures, which is why relationships with them never work, no matter how much I want them to.

Aubrey: I can’t...

Riff: Can’t what?

Aubrey: Be with you.

Before he has a chance to respond, I toss my phone into my purse. Isaac stares at me expectantly, but I merely shrug. There’s no way I’m going into the long sordid details of how my weekend fling wants more from me. Information about your sexual relationships getting out in the workplace is never a good scene. People are so judgmental and I don’t want to be known as the office slut because I enjoy having a little fun from time to time.

Isaac opens his mouth to speak, but before he does I cut him off because he’s so predictable I know exactly what he’s going to say. “Everything’s fine. It’s Lanie. She’s missing Noel.”

He raises his eyebrows. “So she and Noel Falcon are...”

I sigh. Sometimes I let my loose lips get me into trouble, but the cat’s out of the bag now. I might as well answer the best I can. “She knew Noel growing up. They were high school sweethearts. They’re actually pretty, sickeningly-sweet.”

“You don’t think that’s romantic? Reuniting with a first love can be powerful thing.”

I grin. “That’s actually one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard a man say.”

He twists his lips and fights back a smile. “I try.”

I lean my elbow on the table and rest my cheek in my hand. Maybe there is something that can work about a nice guy. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to have someone love you back just as much as you love them. I gaze into his clear blue eyes and wonder if I can be truly happy with a man like him. Would I miss the wild nights? He doesn’t look like he’s the type to spice things up too much in bed.

But is that the trade off? Love of a solid man equals the loss of amazing sex?

Isaac leans in a bit. “I like you, Aubrey, and want the chance to get to know you better. Would you go out on a real date with me sometime? No strings attached, just dinner.”

“Isn’t that against some sort of company policy?”

He shrugs. “I’m sure it is since I’m your direct boss, but we can keep things between us for a while and see how things go.”

He’s right. The fact that he’s my direct boss probably is a bad thing, but he doesn’t seem too concerned about it. If we start down this path and things don’t work I don’t know what that’ll mean for me, but I know that Isaac is a nice guy. He’d never try to start something if he wasn’t sure we’d work out. He’s too much of a planner to be spontaneous.

Dating him may be the change in my love life I need.

Chapter 12

RIFF

Aubrey’s response that she can’t be with me cuts deep. I fire back am instant message asking her why, but she doesn’t answer. The urge to fling my phone across the bus fills every inch of me. Why didn’t I see this coming? I’m a rotten bastard that deserves this misery, and I want to kick my own ass for allowing myself to feel things for this girl—to want more with her. She’s genuine, and that’s what I want.

Big Bertha rolls down the road, taking us to the next city on our tour. I hate being trapped on here at a time like this. More than anything I want to hop on my bike and drive for a few hours to try to clear my head.

I hate that I’m so fucked up that no one can stand to be around me long term.

“Fuck you, bitch. I got you!” Trip yells at the television as he smashes buttons on the game controller.

I shake my head. “What’s with you guys and video games?”

Tyke shrugs, but never removes his eyes from the screen as he fights his brother. “I could ask you the same thing about the Oreos.”

My shoulders tense. Oreos are special to me because of my sister, but that’s not something I share with anyone. The twins know all about my family and the trauma we went through, but that’s only because they knew me when it all happened. What I wouldn’t give to block out my past. It’s too fucking painful to think about. I don’t deserve to be alive, let alone have any happiness. Oreos and the happy memories of me and Hailey together tied to them are the only positives I allow myself.

When the game ends, Tyke gets up and grabs his notepad. “I’ve been working on some new lyrics. I want you guys to tell me what you think.”

“I’m down,” Trip says.

I close up the cookies and push them aside, eager to work on some music. After I grab my Gibson from the front of the bus, I sit down on the love seat glad to have something to occupy my mind.

“Okay, the beat goes a little something like this.” Tyke slaps the table in front of him to a steady beat. “And I’m thinking the bass sounds raunchy.”

He starts making low-pitched noises with his mouth while keeping time on the table. I close my eyes and allow the melody to fill me. It’s a dirty beat and my fingers glide over the threads as the vision of the cords I need to play flood my brain.

Like every other time we write a song, I strum the first notes that come to mind. We play it through for a couple minutes and Trip sits down and takes over the drum beat and we start again, only this time I open my mouth sign the lyrics on Tyke’s paper. The parts he still needs to write I improvise with a little humming.

“Through the rain cloud—there you were...hmmmm, hmmm, hmm,” I sing.

Trip nods his head. “Yeah, I like it.”

We run through it a few more times, each time getting it tuned finer. “It’s great, man. The bones are solid.”

Tykes grins. “Thanks, bro. You know how it is when I write. I never know until we start putting it together if it’s going to work or not.”

I roll my eyes—always the self-doubter. “I think you got something with this one.”

We wrap up our jam session and Lanie opens the door and makes her way down the hallway. Her hair is a little frizzy from sleep and she squints at the bright lights.

I glance over at the clock. Damn. It’s nearly four in the morning. She’s probably pissed we woke her up.

“Hey, if it isn’t sleeping beauty,” Trip teases. “Lonely back there in the love shack?”

A blush creeps up into her cheeks as we all laugh. She squeezes in next to me on the love seat and lowers her chin to avoid our stares.

Trip and Tyke gravitate back to the Xbox to resume the game they were playing.

Trip looks over at Lanie and smirks. “Lanie, since he isn’t here, you have to tell us what Noel was like when you guys dated before.”

“Yeah,” Tyke agrees, while adjusting the bandanna on his forehead. “We need dirt—the good stuff. Did he get the crap kicked out of him in school? We need ammo to torment him.”

She shrugs. “Sorry, guys. There’s isn’t much to tell. Noel’s pretty straight laced. He doesn’t have many secrets.”

“That you know of,” I chime in.

Her head snaps toward me. “What’s that supposed to mean? You keep alluding to some big thing Noel is keeping from me.”

I shrug. She really doesn’t have a fucking clue. Damn him. I knew it. “It means just that.”

“Noel doesn’t keep things from me. He doesn’t like secrets between us.”

“Well maybe you should—”

“Dude!” Trip cuts me off. “Now is not the time, man.”

“You don’t think she should know? I guarantee he hasn’t told her. Look at her face.” I point to Lanie. “She has no fucking clue what I’m talking about. I’m trying to look out for her. She’s a nice girl and I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

Trip rubs his forehead. “I know. I know. But, it’s not our place to tell her.”

Lanie waves her hand. “Guys, I’m right here. Tell me what the fuck is going on.”

I set my eyes on her. She really does look clueless, like she trusts him completely and it makes me feel pity for her. She has to know. I don’t give a fuck who gets mad, least of all Noel. I’ve had enough of his shit. “Lanie...Noel has a girlfriend.”

She furrows her brow. “What? No way! You guys are messing with me.”

Tyke frowns, and I shake my head.

“I—I don’t believe you. He wouldn’t...No.”

I toy with the hoop through my bottom lip. “It’s true, Lanie. I’m sorry.”

She clutches her chest. I can literally see her struggle for air to breathe. She gasps with her eyes wide and then turns pale.

Fuck. I’m not prepared for this big of a freak out.

Tyke drops to his knees in front of her and places of his hands on her shoulders. “Breathe, Lanie. You’re white as snow.”

There’s a long pause as she processes the information and for a second I feel guilty for telling her, but know deep down it’s the right thing. Hopefully, this pain will be like a band-aid. One quick rip and done.

She raises her head and questions, “How long?”

“How long what, Lanie?” Tyke asks.

“The girl. Has he been with her long?” Tyke looks to Trip then to me for an answer. He hates being wrapped up in drama of any kind. Guess it’s up to me to field this one.

I roll my lips into a line, and this is harder to do than I thought. “Not long—only a few months.”

“This whole time—why would he do this?”

“Because Noel Falcon is a selfish prick,” I say. “He doesn’t give a shit about anybody but himself.”

She scrubs her fingers down her face. “Oh, god. I can’t believe this.”

I touch her shoulder gingerly. “I’m sorry, Lanie. He’s a shit.”

Her face twists and it’s obvious she’s fighting back tears. Her legs wobble as she pushes herself up from the seat.

“Lanie? Are you all right?” Tyke asks.

“I’m fine,” she says before heading towards bedroom door, slamming it behind her.

As soon as she’s gone Trip turns around and glares at me. “Jesus! What the fuck was that?”

I rub my forehead. I knew he’d be all over my ass. “Don’t start. It had to be done, man.”

“But I told you, nothing good would come of doing that.”

My eyebrows crinkle. “Her knowing is good. Noel needs to take some responsibility for his actions. Someone needed to force his hand.”

“And that had to be you? Don’t you know how much shit this is going to stir up? We’re already struggling to keep this band together as is. Do you want to fuck this all up on purpose for us?”

I shake my head. “No! I just...”

I stop myself from yelling out that Noel’s a selfish prick and I’m done with that fucking asshole.

I sigh. “Look, I’ll go talk to her, okay.”

Trip glances at his brother and then back to me. “You better fix this, man. This band is my fucking life.”

I shove up from the love seat and head towards the back of the bus. I knock softly on the door. I feel like a complete ass for saying anything now, but she needed to hear the truth.

When she doesn’t answer, I open the door slowly. The mattress is bare and the sheets lay in a massive heap in the corner of the small room. She’s a fucking tornado when she’s pissed.

Her tear streaked face stares up at me, and I can see how torn up she is. Her shoulders sag as she pats the spot beside her on the bed.

I give her the best smile I can muster, but I know it’s sad “You okay?”

She shakes her head, “Yes.”

“That’s not very convincing.”

She sighs and her voice quivers. “I know, but what choice do I have?”

I tilt my head. “You have all the power here, Lanie. Noel screwed you over like he did to me. That’s who he is. But you have the power to do what’s best for you and get the hell away from him. I would if I could, but I’m kind of stuck here.”

She snorts. “I know the feeling.”

“Ah, yes, the job—I almost forgot about that. Well, I guess you and I are both screwed by him.”

She turns toward me, clearly trying to figure me out. “You mean you’d leave this band if you could?”

I nod. She has no clue how much I wish I could be free of Noel and his bullshit. “In a heartbeat. I can hardly look at the guy without wanting to kick his ass. But, this band is my life. It’s all I’ve ever known. I can’t walk away, no matter how much I want to.”

“I’ve noticed there’s some tension between you two.”

I laugh, but it has a bitter edge to it. “Yeah, well, when your best friend fucks your woman, you’ll have that.”

Her eyes widen. “Noel...”

“Yes,” I answer her unspoken question. “His girlfriend is my ex, Sophie.”

Lanie throws her hand over her mouth and darts out of the bedroom. The paper-thin walls in the bathroom don’t muffle sound at all. I hear every heave as she loses all the contents of her stomach.

When Noel gets back, I’ll have a fight on my hands—spilling this secret will not go over well.

Chapter 13

RIFF

Noel throws open the curtain to my bunk and lunges inside. “You fucking told her?”

“You can’t have them both,” I yell back the moment he grabs handfuls of my shirt. I knew this moment was coming as soon as I told her. “I won’t let you do that to Sophie.”

I hear Lanie’s voice in the background. “Noel, stop!”

In a split second, Noel loses it. He yanks me from the bunk and throws me down on the hallway floor. I try to stand, but before I get the chance, Noel’s on me, connecting a hard punch against my jaw.

I grunt and grab Noel into a tight headlock when he dips his head down. If it’s one thing I know how to do well, it’s fighting. Dad would come at me every time he got drunk, so it was learn to protect myself and fight back or get the shit kicked out of me.

Noel flings his arms wildly, his fists crack against my ribs and knocks the wind out of me for a second.

“Stop it!” Lanie yells again.

Trip and Tyke’s curtains fly back and they jump out of their bunks. The twins get in-between us and eventually yank us apart. My chest heaves as I taste metallic on the tip of my tongue. That fucker was going for blood.

We’re both still red-faced determined to get at each other as he fight against Trip and Tyke.

“I can’t believe you fucking told her!” Noel shouts while still in Trip’s firm hold. “You need to mind your own damn business.”

I laugh harshly. “Me? Mind my own business? You make it pretty hard to do when you’re fucking my girlfriend behind my back!”

Noel’s mouth drops open. “She came to me. I didn’t go after her.”

“And that makes it fucking okay? Jesus, Noel, you were my best friend—my brother and you still screwed me over. I’m not going to let you do that to Lanie.”

“I was going to tell her!” Noel shouts with his arms spread wide.

“When? When were you going to tell her? After Sophie has the baby?”

Out of the corner of my eye I notice Lanie falls back against the wall. A baby isn’t something I told her about. I figured if I told her about Sophie, Noel would fess up about knocking her up on his own. But in the heat of the moment, I said it to further piss him off.

Noel’s body stills and his eyes snap to Lanie. She shakes her head under his stare and slowly backs away from him.

“Lane?” Noel says her name as heads back to the bedroom. “Lane, wait!”

She slams the door behind her and Noel instantly jerks his gaze at me. “This isn’t over, motherfucker.”

“It is for you,” I snap back.

He glares at me for a second longer like he’s debating on trying a round two with me, but he knows better. I’ll fucking end him if he comes at me while I’m ready for him.

He shakes his head and heads after her.

“Come on, man. Let’s head over to the hotel and chill out for a while.” Trip pats my shoulder.

Trip walks me back to our floor in the hotel, keeping an extra eye that I don’t turn around and charge the bus to go after Noel again.

“I can’t believe he yanked you out of the bunk like that,” Trip says.

I shrug. “I would’ve probably done the same thing. I basically ruined things between him and Lanie.”

Trip shakes his head. “It was good you told her, though. I hate keeping secrets from people.”

I nod, but don’t answer because I’m keeping things from Aubrey, too—things she may leave me for when she finds out.

“I’m gonna go toss my shit in my room and use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

I plop down in the chair next to the elevator. “I’ll wait for you right here.”

Thinking about Kitten makes me want to hear her voice.

AUBREY

The sound of Maroon 5 from my cell phone wakes me up. I roll over and grab it from my nightstand. It’s Lanie. Why is she calling so early in the morning?

I smile when I answer, “What’s up, lucky girl? How’s that fine man of yours?”

There’s a long pause on the line before she says, “Not good.”

As soon as the words leave her she’s bawling into the phone. I sit up in bed, immediate concern rocks me. She’s falling apart. Did she find out about Diana’s plan to take the charity away from her?

I have to know what’s going on. “Aw, baby cakes, tell me what happened?”

She sniffs. “He’s such an asshole.”

A heavy breath leaves my lungs as relief washes through me. I’m sad she’s hurt, but I’m glad it’s not because of me and what I’m keeping from her. “Did he hurt you? I’ll kill him if he laid a finger on you.”

“Nothing like that. He’s just...” She takes a deep breath. “Noel has a girlfriend, Aubrey.”

“What!?” I screech. “What do you mean he has a girlfriend?”

“I guess he has for a while, but that’s not the worst part.”

“What can be any worse than that?”

“She’s pregnant.”

I gasp. “Like, with a baby?”

“Yes. She says it’s Noel’s.”

“Oh, my god. Screw the job, Lanie. Run away as fast as you can from that freak show. Come home.”

She’s quiet for a second and then she calls out, “Just a minute.”

“Who is that?” I question. It better not be Noel. He better thank his lucky stars I’m not there to punch him square in the balls.

There’s a rustling noise on her end of the line like she’s moving around. “It’s probably just housekeeping.” After a distinct sound of a deadbolt unlocking, I hear her say, “What are you doing here?”

Noel’s deep voice rumbles and asks, “Can I come in?”

There’s a thump as the door closes and then she sighs into the phone. “Aubrey, I’ll have to call you back.”

“Is it him?”

She whispers, “Yes.”

I inhale deeply through my nose, trying to hold in my anger. “Tell him to fuck off, Lanie. You don’t need to put up with his shit.”

“I will. I promise.”

“You call me back if you need me. Hear me?”

“Okay,” is all she says before disconnecting our call.

I flop back against my pillow and rake my hair back from my forehead. What a mess. If only I could’ve seen this coming...

My lips twist. This is exactly what Zach was trying to warn me about. Why didn’t he tell me or her for that matter? Just further proves why I can’t date a guy like him. That whole bros before hoes mentality is sickening.

I open the message box to Zach and see the last message he left me.

Riff: Why?

I shake my head. There’s so many reasons why I can’t date him. This situation with Lanie doesn’t help.

Aubrey: Because men like you keep girlfriends on the side.

I toss my phone back on the nightstand and head into the shower to get ready for work. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me what Noel was up to. Why make me try and guess?

I scrub vigorously in the shower, running through everything Zach ever said to me about Noel. There’s nothing I can recall that screams Noel wasn’t exactly single.

I know it’s not Zach’s fault that his friend is a douchebag, but he knew exactly what was going on. He had to. And he didn’t tell me, or more importantly, Lanie.

I run a fluffy towel through my hair, sopping up the water as I walk back over to my cell. The blue message light flashes. I pick it up and touch the screen.

Riff: Lanie called you?

I roll my eyes.

Aubrey: Of course she called me. We don’t keep things from each other.

After I hit send, I think about how that isn’t exactly true either. I’m keeping something from her too, but I’m doing it to protect her, not out of selfish gain.

Riff: Look, I’m the one who told her, okay? I was trying to help her. I told you I didn’t think it was a good idea for them to be together.

Aubrey: You should’ve told me, so I could break it to her.

Riff: I struggled with it because it wasn’t exactly my place to tell her and I didn’t want you involved.

I sigh. He’s right. Noel should’ve manned-up and told her. Instead he kept it from her, causing her to be crushed.

Aubrey: You’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to lash out at you. Thank you for telling her.

Riff: It was the right thing to do.

I smile.

Aubrey: So noble...who knew?

Riff: I wouldn’t go that far.

Aubrey: I would.

Riff: What’s your cell number? I hate instant messaging.

I tap my finger on the side of the phone. Where is this going? It’s only going to torture both of us if we keep this up.

When I don’t respond right away another message pops up.

Riff: Come on, friends call each other.

I nod in agreement. What the hell? He’s right.

I fire my cell phone number into the message box and hit send. Two seconds later the phone rings showing an unknown number on the ID screen. What the hell did I get myself into?

RIFF

I haven’t called a girl I liked since junior high school. They typically call me. The palm of my hand is clammy as I dial her number. I know she said friends only, but that doesn’t work for me. I think about her way to damn much to leave it at that. I need more time with her. I’m not even sure why. I know that the weekend I spent with her was the first time I’d felt alive in a long time. I didn’t dwell on past things I can’t change as much. I even allow myself to picture what a life with her might be like. I don’t want those kinds of feelings. I don’t deserve to have them.

If I can spend more time with her, I know she’ll eventually piss me off, and whatever this is that I’m feeling will go away. Then I can get back to being the fucking asshole everyone knows and loves.

She answers on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Hey. It’s me,” I reply.

“I’m glad you told her,” she says instantly.

I let out a heavy sigh, relived she doesn’t think I’m a total dick. “I had to. It was eating away at me.”

“Why? Because you didn’t like Lanie being wronged?”

I shake my head. “That’s part of it, but mainly it’s because I think Noel is a gigantic douche.”

“I thought you were friends?”

I laugh bitterly. “Definitely not friends.”

“But you guys got along pretty well when I was there.” I can hear the question in her voice. She wants the details about our beef.

“The girl Noel knocked up was sort-of my girlfriend.”

She gasps. “Oh, Zach. I’m so sorry. No wonder you’re pissed. You have every right to be. Were you with her long?”

“No, not long at all. We weren’t even that serious, really. She was just a chick I kept around to...” I trail off. What will she think of me if I tell her Sophie was a random groupie that didn’t annoy me too much, so I kept her around as my fuck-buddy for a couple months? She’ll probably think less of me than she already does knowing I use women that way.

“Say no more. I get it. Regardless of what she was to you, Noel overstepped his bounds. I’d be livid if my friend did that to me.” I tilt my head. She gets it. She’s even saying my anger at him is acceptable.

“It’s so nice for someone to be okay with me being pissed at him for a change.”

“You mean the twins are okay with what he did to you?”

I shrug. “They aren’t exactly okay with it, but they do think I need to let it go for the sake of the band.”

She sighs into the phone. “You shouldn’t allow anyone to walk all over you, Zach. You’re too good of a person for that.”

I raise my eyebrows. “No one’s ever called me that before.”

“What’s that, good?”

“Yeah, asshole, dick, sure, I get those a lot, but never good. Most people end up hating me.”

“You don’t let them see the caring side of you that I know is in there.”

“What makes you think I have a caring side?”

“Because I’ve seen it. The way you were with me...it was nice. I like Zach more than I like Riff.”

I close my eyes. I should’ve never let my guard down with her. She shouldn’t feel this way about me. I’m not a good person.

“You still there?”

I nod, knowing full well she can’t see me, but I can’t bring myself to say anything. My chest squeezes knowing Kitten doesn’t think I’m an evil bastard. This is so not good. It only makes me want her more. Turns out she’s too good of a distraction from the hellhole that is my life. She’s actually allowing me to believe there’s hope for me, and hope is a dangerous thing to a rotten human being like me.

It’s in that moment I decide I’m going to have her. I don’t care what she said about being friends. I like how I feel with her. I’m a better person with her.

I’m going to have to make her see she wants me, too.

“So, tell me about this date you were on last night,” I ask to totally change the subject off my less desirable qualities.

“It was okay. Nothing big—drinks with a friend.”

I arch my pierced eyebrow. “Is he your friend like I’m your friend?”

She laughs. “Definitely not. At least not yet, anyhow.”

Relief washes through me. I knew she wasn’t like that with everyone. There’s something about me that pulls her in and I need to figure out what it is.

“So you’re saying you don’t tie him up and visit sex shops with him yet? How did we move to that place so quickly? You used me for my body, didn’t you?”

“And you didn’t use me for mine?” She tries to be stern, but I can hear the smile in her voice.

“I will admit your tits are amazing.”

“See!” she exclaims. “I knew it!”

I laugh. “Well it’s not just your tits that I like.”

“Your ass is pretty great, too.”

“Uh-huh. I told you.”

Looks like it’s time to admit something real if I want her to take me seriously. “I also like your sense of humor, and you’re cute as hell when you’re feisty. And I like being with you.”

“I like being with you, too...which is a problem.”

“Only if you let it be. I like having fun with you.”

She sighs. “Zach, I explained this in the bar. Our weekend together was great, probably one of the best times I’ve ever had with a man, but that kind of magic can’t last. Soon, reality will set in. You’ll be on the road. I’ll be here in New York. Things will get complicated and this nice friendship we have now will be ruined.”

The thought of what it’d be like being her friend crosses my mind. If by some miracle of God Lanie and Noel end up working things out, Aubrey will be around from time to time. I don’t think I can handle seeing her, knowing that she’s the one person who believes I’m a good person, while she’s with someone else. I won’t be able to deal. It’ll drive me even crazier than I am right now.

“I want to complicate the hell out of our friendship, Kitten.”

“You’re only saying that because I’m saying no. You like a challenge. That’s all this is.”

“No,” I say, “It’s not. I want you because I just do. Like I told you, I can’t explain why, I just know I do.”

“Zach...” I can hear the waver in her voice. I nearly have her convinced to be mine.

As I wait on her reply, Trip’s door springs open. Shit. He’s the last person I need overhearing this conversation. He’ll never let me live down that I have feelings for Aubrey. It’s hard enough undergoing his speculations.

“Look, Aubrey, I want to finish this talk, but I have to go. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Okay. Talk to you soon.”

I end the call and stuff the phone back in my pocket as Trip makes it to the end of the hallway.

Trip runs his fingers through his black hair and then slaps his baseball cap on backwards. “Who was that?”

I narrow my eyes. “No one. Why?”

He shrugs. “You seem weird, like all fidgety or something.”

I square my shoulders. “I’m not fucking fidgety.”

He smirks. “You forget how long I’ve knows your ass. You do fidget, especially when you’re uncomfortable. So out with it? Was it your dad?”

“No? Why would you think it was him?”

“Because every time he calls you, you get this way—out of sorts. It’s like you don’t know what to do with yourself. On one hand you want to hate him, but on the other you won’t let yourself because you still believe his shitty life is your fault.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose and count to three. I’m about three seconds from losing my cool on Trip and I don’t want to fucking do that. I know he’s trying to help me. “Leave it, man. You don’t get it.”

I turn to walk away from him feeling the sudden urge for space, but he grabs my arm, halting me. “I do fucking get it. I was there, remember? What happened to your sister—and your mom—wasn’t your fault. You don’t owe him shit. You have to cut him loose.”

I roll my eyes and stare up at the ceiling. “I can’t do that. It’s my fault we don’t have a family. He wouldn’t have a drinking problem and could hold down a job if my mom were still around. Don’t you see, his shitty life is my fault!”

Trip pulls his lips into a tight line and then lets go of my arm. “I hope one day you can see the truth. You’re not the bad one in this situation. You were only a kid. Your dad needs real help, not financial help like you give him.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes life is what it is, Trip. We’re both fucked up in the head, and no amount of professional help is going to change that.” I don’t give him time to say anything because I don’t want to fucking hear it.

To think a few minutes ago I was actually giving myself permission to have a little happiness. Sometimes reality’s perfect timing socks me in the nuts with a reminder that I’m an asshole that doesn’t deserve anything good.

I need to leave Aubrey alone, but I’m afraid at this point I can’t. She’s worked her way into my head, and I don’t see any other way of getting her out other than letting her see the ugly side of me that sends her running for the fucking hills. We’ll have to see how long I can hold out.

AUBREY

It’s been a few days since I talked with Zach. I waited for his phone call that night, but my phone never rang. He was probably still drunk from the night before. That’s the only explanation I have for him talking crazy about wanting a relationship.

I sigh as I grab the Black Falcon file from the drawer and open it up to work on sponsorship letters for the campaign like Isaac asked.

I glance across the hall at his open office door across from my desk. Since we had drinks the other night, he’s left it wide open every day. It’s almost like he’s waiting on me to make the next move. While I would love to focus my undivided attention on his advances, my stupid heart won’t let me. Somehow, I allowed a crazy, tatted-up rocker to get under my skin.

I promised myself the time I spent with him would be the last of my wild days, not the beginnings of another guaranteed heartbreak.

The shrill ring of my desk phone breaks me out of my thoughts. “Yes, Mr. Walters.”

Isaac chuckles into the phone. “That’s not a good sign. I’m back to Mr. Walters.”

Heat fills my cheeks. “I’m sorry. It seems more, I don’t know, formal, I guess.”

“Yes. I suppose it does. Do you mind bringing those sponsorship letters in as soon as you have them written up? I want to double check them before you send them out.”

I raise my eyebrows. He doesn’t think I’m capable of typing a letter? I’m a little put off he wants to check it like we’re in the second grade, but what can I do? He is my boss. “Sure. No problem.”

“Great. See you in a bit.”

I shake my head and try to refocus on the document on my screen. The words flow, but not as easily as they did before he put the nugget of doubt in my brain that I might actually suck at this job.

When I’m finally finished printing the last one, I grab the stack and head into Isaac’s office.

He’s working away on his computer. His black-framed glasses perch on his nose as he stares intently at the work on the screen. The black suit-jacket is a stark contrast to the bright green tie he’s wearing, but it works. It totally helps bring out the green in his eyes.

He smiles when he notices me in the doorway. Isaac leans back in his chair and rubs his hand over the back of his blonde head. “Come in. Have a seat.”

I sit stiffly in the chair across from him after laying the letters on his desk. He inspects each letter one by one, carefully reading over my work right in front of me.

I try to relax a little, but every muscle in my body is clenched tight. It’s hard being judged, especially by a man who wants to date me. The last thing I want is for him to think I’m a moron and question why he hired me in the first place.

I cross my ankles together and tug at my skirt while I wait on him to say something. The corner of his mouth twitches at one point and my heart squeezes for a second. “Something wrong?”

He glances up. “Oh, no. It’s great.”

My shoulders relax. “Okay good.” I stand and hold my hand out to collect the papers from him. “How soon would you like me to send these to potential sponsors?”

He grimaces and pulls the papers away from my grasp. “Actually, I was thinking of rewriting these.”

I tilt my head. “I thought you said they’re great.”

He bites his lip. “They are great...for a first try. You haven’t quite hooked the reader with your sales points. The bones are there, but I need to spruce it up a little for you before you send them out.”

“You don’t think I’m capable of correcting my own work?”

He shakes his head. “No. no. You misunderstand. I want your work to shine.”

I frown. “Yeah, but if you fix it, it won’t be my work anymore. It’ll be yours, Isaac. Lying about my skills and sleeping with my boss is not how I intend on moving up in this company.”

He stands and motions with his hands for me to keep my voice down and then he points towards the open door. “Look. It’s not like that, okay. I see how bright you are. You’re a hard worker and someday you’ll do big things on your own. I’m trying to help you get to the next level faster.”

“I don’t want to move on any faster than I’m ready for.”

“Is that why you haven’t named a date when we can go out again?”

My stomach clenches. “I want to take things slow, okay. I have the habit of moving too fast in relationships and always wind up getting hurt. I want to change that. I want to start taking things slowly. I’m tired of all the flings. I want to find someone who is real and genuine—someone who loves me for me.”

Isaac steps around the desk and closes the door. He turns to face me once we are trapped inside alone. He takes a step toward me then takes my hand. “Well, maybe I can be that for you. I like you, Aubrey. I want to see where this goes. I’m a patient man. I’ll give you time to see that maybe we can be more if you let it.”

I stare down at our fingers twined together and think about how it feels nice, but it’s missing that spark—the one filled with excitement. I’m attracted to Isaac, but the chemistry between us feels forced. It doesn’t feel natural. Maybe this is how it is when you settle for something you don’t really want. I know deep down my heart craves Zach, but he’s too unpredictable. He’ll only hurt me. Isaac is the safe way to go, but my feelings for him won’t be instant. “I think I’m going to need lots of time.

He nods as I glance up at his face. “That, I can give you.”

We stand still for a few more seconds, waiting on the other to make a move. Finally, he says, “Guess we should get back to work. I’ll have these edited and back to you by the end of the day.”

I smile as he lets go of my hand. “Thank you.”

I rush out of the room, needing space to figure out what the hell just happened in there. One minute we’re talking about work, the next minute he’s trying to figure out our relationship.

I rub my forehead. A rush of pain hits me between the eyes. I haven’t had a stress headache since my last week of finals in college.

I pull open my bottom desk drawer and open my purse to look for the Tylenol. I notice a little blue message light flick on my phone, indicating a message. I tap my screen. There’s a missed call and a message from Zach.

I lean back in my chair and play the message. He has about the worst timing in the world.

“Aubrey, hi, it’s me. I know I fucked up by not calling you. It’s what I always do—fuck things up. I won’t blame you if you tell me to go jump into traffic or something, but I would really like a chance to apologize. Call me back when you get this.”

My teeth pinch the inside of my lip between them. This is exactly what a relationship with him would be like—constant fighting and breaking up. I don’t want that. I’ve been through those enough already.

I throw my phone back inside my purse and slam the drawer shut. My co-worker, Sadie, at the next desk over whips her head in my direction wearing a scowl on her face.

I throw my hands up. “Sorry.”

Sadie rolls her eyes and turns back to her computer. God I miss Lanie at times like this. Most of these people are stuck up asshats. She helped liven this place up a little. I haven’t heard much from her over the past few days—not since Noel cornered her into staying because she’s contracted to stay on the tour.

I need to call her and check in—make sure everything is okay with her.

I turn my attention back to my computer and an instant message pops up from Zach.

Zach: You around?

He’s persistent when he wants to be. Too bad he isn’t consistent on his follow through. I was so close to giving into him and trying a relationship with him against my better judgment. It’s actually a great thing he blew me off the way he did. I got to see his true colors early.

I close the message box and log off the site completely. No more distractions. No more going down the bad boy path. Hopefully, if I ignore him he’ll give up and move on.

Two seconds after opening my work email, my cell chimes and buzzes with a new message. I roll my eyes.

I hope that my theory that he’ll walk away easily proves true.

Chapter 14

RIFF

I’ve never been one to basically stalk a woman until she talks to me, but the fact that Kitten is ignoring me cuts right through me. I should’ve called. I know that. Not calling was a dick move on my part, and I feel like an asshole, but there’s nothing I can do about that now, other than apologize. I was seriously trying to distance myself from her, but I only made it three fucking days.

I ring her cell one more time, since I’ve put myself on a pattern alternating my method of attempting communication with her every thirty minutes. None of my instant messages, texts, or calls are answered.

“Are you going to be on your phone all fucking night?” Trip whines next to me as we walk through the parking lot back to Big Bertha. “I want to go find some chicks.”

“I have to keep trying until she answers,” I snap as yet another attempt goes straight to her voicemail.

“I know I told you to try with her, dude, but if she’s ignoring you it’s a sign that you need to move on.”

“Why is she mad?” Tyke questions from the other side of Trip.

I sigh and stuff my phone in my pocket. “I basically begged her to give a relationship with me a shot, promised to call her back, and I didn’t.”

Trip jerks his thumb in my direction as he explains to his brother, “This dumbass tries to call the girl three days later, but then gets crazy when she won’t answer any of his messages.”

Tyke shakes his head. “Tough break, Riff. Maybe you should forget about her.”

I shake my head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Trip asks. “What is it about that girl that you like so much?”

My mind flashes to the first night I saw Aubrey. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, and when she shoved me away from her, I was a goner. I had to have her. It didn’t help she made me work for it a little first, that only drove me more. But the true clincher wasn’t even the kinky sex we had. It was the moment when she said I was a good person. She didn’t make me feel worthless like almost every other goddamn person in my life. There’s no way I’m telling these two that, though. Trip is already bad enough with his psychobabble bullshit.

Trip grips my shoulder. “Look. What you need is to get your mind off her. Come out with me and Tyke, find a hot chick and bang her. That’s all you really need, dude—a good lay. Maybe that’ll help you let her go.”

I shrug his hand off. “I don’t want to let her go.”

He yanks my shoulder, halting me from storming off. “If she doesn’t want you, then you have to. That’s how this shit works.”

I grind my teeth together. It isn’t like I don’t know that already. I hate it when he makes so much logical fucking sense. There’s an ounce of hope left in me that she’s not done with me yet.

I glance from Trip to Tyke. “Fine we’ll go out, but I’m not in the mood to score chicks.”

Tyke sighs. “Well you’ll be an awesome wingman tonight.”

I roll my eyes. “Please, like you two need my help to rope in the pu-tang.”

We all laugh in unison as we make to the door of Big Bertha. Trip and Tyke skid to a stop at the top of the steps in front me. What the fuck?

I shove around them and instantly freeze, too. What the hell is she doing here?

Sophie stands in the middle of the bus, looking as flawless as ever in her long, blonde ponytail that sits high on her head. Her porcelain skin has a slight redness on her cheeks, no doubt a side effect of the little baby bump she’s sporting.

I clench my jaw tight. Why is she here?

Trip clears his throat. “Should we leave? Looks serious in here.”

Noel shakes his head as he glares at Mike and Sophie. “No. Stay. You’re just in time to hear some secret Sophie’s been keeping.”

Trip pulls himself up on the counter, making himself comfortable, and Tyke leans next to him while pulling his lips into a tight line. Trip leans forward and places his elbows on his thighs. He’s ready to jump in and mediate the situation if need be, I’m sure. His ass loves drama.

I flex my jaw muscles as I step into Sophie’s direct view. This is my chance to get some fucking answers. “How many more secrets can she possibly have?”

She doesn’t even bother to acknowledge me as I walk to the other side of the counter where the twins are.

Mike frowns at Lanie and then flicks his eyes back to Sophie. Agony is the only emotion I can read on Mike’s face.

Sophie locks her gaze on the couple in front of her. Lanie’s small hand squeezes Noel’s arm in a sign of support.

Sophie sighs like she’s totally put out. “The baby doesn’t belong to Noel.”

My fingers curl into fists.

Noel yells, “WHAT?” at the exact same time I do.

Mike stands beside Sophie and threads his fingers through hers. “It’s mine.”

Noel’s hands fly into his hair, and he grabs handfuls of it in his fingers. He paces back and forth with his eyes closed.

He whips his head towards me, and his eyebrows shoot up. He wasn’t lying. This entire time he was telling me the fucking truth and I made his life a living hell every chance I got. Guilt fills every inch of me.

“Told you I never fucked your girl,” Noel says to me. “I would never do that shit to you!”

Rage fills me causing my lips to twist and my nostrils flair. Who the fuck does she think she is? Does she even know how much fucking pain and hurt she’s caused this band with her selfish fucking ways? Does she even care? When I can no longer keep from lashing out at her, I shout, “You fucking slut!”

My words echo in my ears as I turn and storm off the bus. The pavement’s solid under my boots as I head towards the back of the bus. I rub my face, wishing I could rub away all of my frustration.

I lean back against Big Bertha and tilt my head towards the sky. I can’t believe it. This entire time Noel and I have been fighting for no reason while that asshole Mike let us have at each other. Pure, unadulterated anger flows through my veins and I crunch my hands into fists. That douche needs to be taught a lesson. He fucking played us all.

I shove myself away from the bus before I round the corner and run smack into Noel.

Noel takes a step back. “Easy, buddy, where you off to?”

I take a deep breath through my nose and try to side step him. “Get out of the way.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t do that. You and your fucking temper need to cool it. Let it go, man. Those lying fuckers deserve each other. They aren’t worth it.”

I throw my hands out towards the bus. “How can you be so fucking calm about this? Don’t you want to beat his ass?”

“I’m not saying I’m not pissed. I’m fucking livid with them. But...now that the truth is out I can get my life back. We can be friends again. Lane won’t hate me anymore. I can be happy again.”

I nod. I know exactly how he feels. I’d give anything to feel like that. “You’re right. It’s all working out for you.”

I shove my hands deep in my jean pockets and stalk off to the nearest bar to text Aubrey some more.

AUBREY

Way too early in the morning my phone rings again. Damn that boy. Hasn’t he ever heard of giving a girl a little space? I grab my phone. It’ll probably be best if I shut it off. I don’t have to be at work today and I prefer to sleep in on my days off.

The second I turn it off, I hear my front door knob rattle. I sit up and gasp, thinking quick of what to grab to stop a burglar. New York is famous for apartment robberies. I tiptoe through my bedroom and into the front room in the dark. Once I glance around and make sure no one has gained entry to my apartment, I rush to the front door.

I slam my body against the wooden door. “I’m calling the cops!”

“Aubrey, it’s me,” Lanie says from the other side of the door.

What’s she doing back already? She’s not due back here for a couple more days.

I click the deadbolt and fling the door open. “What’s going on? You all right?”

She shakes her head as she wheels her suitcase inside the apartment. “No. It was too much. I had to get away from there.”

I scrunch my brow. “Did something else happen?”

“Sophie showed up.”

“As in the pregnant chick?”

She nods and then flops down on the couch. “It’s not Noel’s baby.”

My heart pounds against my rib cage as I sit next to her. “Does that mean it’s...”

I swallow hard as I think about the possibility that this baby is Zach’s child. I don’t want a relationship with him, but the realization that it will never be an option stings. Why does this news feel so crushing on my heart?

“It’s not Riff’s either if that’s what you’re thinking. The baby belongs to their bodyguard, Mike.”

“How do you know that?”

Lanie shrugs. “Riff can’t have children.”

I tilt my head. “What makes you say that?”

She stares at me dumbfounded. “I figured telling someone that you’re sterile might come up before you do the deed.”

My mouth drops open. No wonder he was okay having sex with me without a condom. He knew there was no way he could knock me up. It also explains why Sophie would try to pin a baby on another man in the band. She was probably hoping to get some cash out of the situation.

I lean back against the couch. “Do you know why he’s sterile?”

She pulls her lips into a tight line. “Something about some sort of accident...that’s all I know.”

“Was his sister involved?”

She shakes her head. “I really don’t know. Why do you ask?”

Things click in my head. The moment we started talking about Hailey, Zach completely shut down. I’m beginning to think there’s a lot more to that story than he led on.

I know he doesn’t have a great relationship with his father. I overheard them yelling at one another over money on the phone the morning after I’d slept with him.

“You okay?”

I shake away my thoughts. “Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know, you look...distracted, like you figured something out.”

I nod. “I think I did.”

Zach’s definitely got some secrets, like he was implying. If only I knew what he’s hiding.

Monday morning Isaac stops at my desk. He’s particularly dashing in his pinstriped suit and matching tie. Every blond hair on his head lays perfectly groomed, while he smiles his dazzling, white smile at me.

“Good morning, Isaac. I have those memos you asked for all ready.” I hand him a file with all the letters I typed since he likes to double check my work.

“Thanks. Say, I hear Lanie Vance is back today. Still didn’t get any details from her?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No, but I do know that she’s worked on some things and has a proposal for the marketing campaign all drawn out.”

He grimaces. “I already turned the proposal into Diana last week.”

“Why? I thought you wanted her input?”

“I did, but there was no time. Diana wanted it from me, so I worked it up with you and presented it to her.”

I rub my forehead. Great. I am the world’s worst friend. Lanie’s going to walk into Diana’s office with hope and optimism and she’s going to be crushed. I look down at my watch. I have a few minutes before she’s due to report to Diana. Better late than never, right?

“Where are you going?” Isaac asks as I rush past him.

“Something I should’ve done to begin with.”

I make it to the elevator as it opens. Lanie stands there in her blue blouse and pencil skirt with her project folder in her hand.

“Oh, thank God.” I shove her back in the elevator and press the lobby button.

Her eyes widen. “Aubrey, what the hell are you doing?”

I hold myself up against the wall as I try to catch my breath after hurrying down the hall. “I’m sorry, Lanie. I’m a shitty friend, and I should’ve told you earlier, but Diana has had my boss Isaac working on Black Falcon’s account behind your back.”

Her eyes narrow. “She what?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know much more than that, but I can’t allow you to walk into a meeting with Diana blind.”

She sighs. “How long have you known?”

My lips turn down. “Before Dallas.”

“Before Dallas? Are you freaking kidding me right now? You knew about this and didn’t tell me? Why?” Her gestures are wild. She’s pissed. She only ever gets that way when she’s livid.

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to walk out on the opportunity to be something in this company. It’s your dream to be here. But, the main reason was because I know you’re in love with Noel. I wanted to give you time to figure out your feelings for him and admit to yourself that you love him.”

Her shoulders sag and tears fill her eyes. “I do love him, but I think I’ve ruined everything. I ran out on him...again. He’s never going to forgive me.”

I wrap my arms around her. “He loves you. He’ll forgive you. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to, but I didn’t want you to get angry and walk out on your job here and out on a chance to be happy with Noel. Please don’t hate me.”

“I could never hate you,” she says and then squeezes me tighter. “You’re my best friend and I love you. You were only trying to do what you thought was right.”

I pull back as the elevator doors open to the lobby. “Thank you. Now...” I punch the twentieth floor button. “Go have your meeting with Diana and kill it. Make her love your ideas!”

She explains all of her ideas for the project on our ride up. They’re pretty amazing and I hope Diana gives her a chance. Lanie’s a smart cookie.

My mind keeps drifting back to the physical pain I saw when Lanie talked about ruining her relationship with Noel. I owe her and I have to see if I can help fix things.

Chapter 15

RIFF

I lie in my hotel bed and stare up at the ceiling. It’s nearly two in the afternoon, and yet I haven’t found motivation to get out of this bed. Trip and Tyke went out solo last night. Noel headed to his room right after the show and so did I. We’ve gone from partying, womanizing maniacs to pathetic saps because the women who we want don’t want us back.

My cell phone buzzes on the bed beside me. I grab it and then look down at the number on the screen. My heart pauses for a beat.

“Hello?” Aubrey doesn’t answer on her end of the line. Fuck! Did she butt-dial me? “Are you there?”

“Hey. Yeah. I’m here,” she answers quietly.

“I’m glad you called, I wanted to say I’m sorry for not calling you back that night. I know how that looks, and I apologize.” Whether she accepts it or not, it feels good to get it off my chest. “Relationships aren’t something I’m used to doing, so I’m afraid I’m not very good at them.”

She sighs into the phone. “I’m sorry too for not giving you a chance to explain yourself. I don’t want to get hurt.”

My stomach clenches. “That’s exactly why I distanced myself. I’m not a good person, Kitten. You deserve better than me.”

“How do you know that? I could be the biggest bitch you’ve ever met.”

“No you’re not. I’ve spent enough time with you to know you’re exactly the opposite.”

“Zach...I’m not a very good person either. I set out to use you.”

A sharp pain around my heart only hurts for a second. “I know, but you cared more about me in those two days than any other woman I’ve ever been with.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “My own mother didn’t even care enough about me to ask how I felt about my sister’s death, yet you tried.”

It sounds worse when I say the things that play through my mind out loud, but it’s true. Mom hated me until the day she died. It was hard enough dealing with what I did without having my own family loathe me.

Aubrey’s quiet for a few moments and I wonder if I’ve freaked her out with all my self-hate. Finally, she says, “That’s terrible you had to not only deal with the loss of your sister, but a strained relationship with your parents. I don’t understand how she could’ve been so cold to you knowing you were only sixteen years old. Did they not realize you’d be hurting, too?”

This is the part I never want to talk about. But, seeing as how I’ve already opened myself up to her and she’s still talking to me, I figure what the hell? She might as well judge me for the real me fully. One of the biggest things in any relationship is trust. I need to be able to trust that she’s okay with the real me, evil parts and all.

I swallow hard. “She did that because she blamed me.”

“Why would she blame you?” Aubrey’s voice is calm, like she’s not sure what she got herself into.

It’s too much, too soon. I have to back off so I don’t freak her out any more than I already have. “It’s really not a big deal. It was a long time ago. I’m over it.”

Another awkward pause on her end indicates to me she’s getting scared off. I start to open my mouth to apologize for dropping all my emotional baggage shit on her, but quickly shut it when she starts speaking again. “I am actually calling for a favor.”

I raise my eyebrow. “So this call wasn’t just about us?”

She clears her throat. “No, but I’m glad we talked. I like that you’ve opened up to me.”

“I’m waiting for the day when you figure out what a piece of shit I really am and tell me to fuck off for good.”

“Zach...I really wish you didn’t think so poorly of yourself. You’re an awesome person and friend. I mean, you warned Lanie about the baby situation. I wish you could see what I see.”

“What do you see?” Is it too much to hope that I may actually have a shot with this woman?

“A good person, like I told you before.”

It’s been a long time since someone other than Trip believed in me so much, and it feels fucking awesome. If it weren’t for Trip over the past few years, I probably wouldn’t be alive. I want things to work with Aubrey. I need her around. I’ll do anything to prove to her that I’ll treat her right.

“So what’s the favor you needed from me?”

“I want to get Noel and Lanie back together. She’s miserable without him. Do you think you can arrange a time for them to meet up?”

I rest my hand on my bare chest and close my eyes. I still feel like total shit for not believing Noel and not seeing through Sophie’s lies. Helping Aubrey arrange a meeting for them is the least I can do to start making it up to him. “We’re playing a small bar in Columbus tomorrow night called the A&R Music Bar. A crowd of only three hundred—a completely acoustic set. She can get to us easily. I’ll hook her up with a pass.” I smile. “Tell her it will be under Long-Dick Dong.”

Kitten laughs. “Any particular reason for the name other than...”

I smile and then flick my lip ring over my teeth. “I knew you liked me for my body.”

“Well...it is pretty nice.”

I raise my pierced eyebrow. “Nice? Maybe I gave you the wrong impression last time. Why don’t you let me come visit you while Lanie’s away and show you how un-nice I can be.”

“I think I like the sound of that.”

The thought alone of being buried deep inside her makes my cock throb. As soon as the Columbus show is over, we’re scheduled for a break and I know exactly where I’m heading.

AUBREY

I sit on Lanie’s bed and watch her fold the last of her shirts and stuff into her suitcase. The remnants of the story she told me yesterday still hold fresh in my mind. “I can’t believe you quit!”

She smiles as she tosses another shirt into the bag. “Believe it. That woman’s a tyrant.”

I poke my bottom lip out. Even though I know her telling the owner of our company to stuff it was the right thing to do, I still don’t want her to leave. “You sure you can’t stay here? There are a thousand other jobs in this city other than marketing.”

Lanie zips up her suitcase. “I love marketing. That’s where my heart lies. It sucks that I can’t stay here with you, but going back home will be good. Mom misses me like crazy, and I can find a job in Houston or something.” She sets her bag on the floor and pulls up the handle until it clicks. “I think I’m all set.”

I step around the bed and wrap my arms around her neck. Lanie leans into me and sniffs. I close my eyes. I hate that she’s leaving, but I know this is right for her and her life. I rub her back and try to reassure her. “It’s going to be okay, sweetie. You and Noel can finally have your happily ever after.”

She squeezes me tight. “I don’t know if we can. The entire time we’ve been fighting over him getting a girl pregnant, he asked me not to leave him—to let him show me I wasn’t second to him. Then at the first sign of a problem in our relationship, I ran. I don’t know if he’ll forgive me for walking away from him a second time.”

I pat the back of her head. She still doesn’t see that man can never stay mad at her. “Sure he will. True love can get through anything. You’ll see.” I pull back and wipe away a couple fallen tears. “Go on, before I decide to hold you hostage here.”

She frowns. “You sure you’re going to be all right by yourself?”

I sniff and then smile, hoping to lighten the mood. “Are you kidding? Now I can have all the wild sex parties I want with you gone. Maybe I can even get Riff to visit.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’ll tell him you miss his...”

I smack her arm. “Don’t you dare tell him that, no matter how true it is. That boy has one giant—”

She shoves her index fingers in her ears. “La! La! La! La! Not listening to you!”

I laugh. “Go on smartass, before you miss your flight. Riff says the pass to get into the V.I.P show for tonight will be at the door under Long-Dick Dong?”

She shakes her head. “Those guys really love giving that pseudonym. I’m so glad to hear he and Noel are working things out since Mike finally told them the truth.”

I sigh. “Me too. I can’t believe that bitch would do that to them. Doesn’t she know she nearly destroyed one of the greatest rock bands ever?”

“Love makes people do insane things, Aubrey. Look at me. I’m traveling cross-country to apologize to a man I’m not even sure wants me anymore. He’s not called once in the last couple days since he learned the truth. This is probably a mistake.”

I push her long, brown hair over her shoulder. “The only mistake when it comes to love, is not going for it.”

As I say those words I realize that’s some pretty sound advice and wonder why I’ve been too stupid to take it myself.

The next couple of days drag on without Lanie. Sure, I missed her before, but I knew she was coming back so it wasn’t as bad. Now, with her gone for good, I’m completely alone in this big city, with only my co-workers who don’t speak to me much.

“Hey, Aubrey. You got a second?” Isaac asks from his doorway.

I nod. “Sure.”

I pick up my notepad and head into his office behind him. Isaac sits in the chair opposite his desk and gestures for me to take the one next to him. I look down at the legal pad in my hand. Something tells me I really didn’t need this.

Isaac clears his throat. “I wanted to check in with you and see if you’ve thought about what we talked about the other day?”

I twist my lips. “I’m not sure I follow you.”

“About us?”

I tense a little in my seat as it suddenly clicks I’m kind of playing two men. I’m not a woman that does that, at least, not intentionally. Things with Zach have gotten more complicated since I went out and grabbed a drink with Isaac and stated trying out the idea of dating him.

How can I tell Isaac I’m just not that into him without making things tense for me here at work?

I sigh. “Right now isn’t a good time for me to date anyone.”

He rubs his chin and glances down at the floor. “Fair enough. I hope we can still remain friends?”

I smile. “Friends it is.”

He thrusts his hand out to me and I give it a firm couple of shakes after I stand. “Guess we should get back to work then.”

Isaac frowns as I let go and turn towards the door. I feel terrible for hurting his feelings, but it’s better than leading him on more when my heart isn’t fully in it.

I halt mid-step the moment my eyes land on my desk chair. Zach sits in it, with his long legs stretched out and his hands behind his head. His full lips pull into a slow grin the moment our eyes meet. I allow my eyes to rake over him. The dark jeans fit snuggly around his powerful thighs and his hair pokes up at the ceiling in true Riff style. He looks just as good as I remembered.

I glance around and notice all my female co-workers watching us intently. I’m sure their curious what this tattooed man is doing making himself at home in my seat.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper harshly as I walk over to him.

He shrugs with his head still propped up. “I had a little time off, so I decided to come see my favorite girl.”

I walk over to my desk and throw my paper and pen down. “And you decided to come here while I’m working. Why didn’t you text me and let me know that you were coming?”

“I didn’t want to give you a chance to tell me not to come. Once I was in the cab, I told the driver to bring me here.”

I glance nervously over my shoulder. All I need is for Isaac to see me with another man after I told him I didn’t want to date anyone right now. “Where are you staying? After work I’ll come visit you.”

He wiggles his eyebrows. “I planned on staying with you since I know Lanie isn’t there.”

Great. “Zach, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He shrugs again. “Okay then, I’ll sit here with you until you get off work and you can come help me find a hotel. It’s nearly four, so you won’t be much longer, right?”

I run my hand through my hair. I hate being bullied into situations. “All right, fine. If you promise to go right now so I don’t get into trouble with my boss, you can stay with me.”

Zach’s grin gets even wider as he stands. “Where do you live?”

I snatch a scrap piece of paper off my desk and write down my address. “I’ll meet you there at five fifteen.”

He takes the paper from me. “How will I get in?”

I walk around him and open my bottom desk drawer. After retrieving my keys from my purse, I hand them to Zach. “Go ahead and make yourself at home until I get there and leave it unlocked for me. I have the feeling we’ll need to have a little chat about the boundaries of our friendship.”

He pushes himself up from the chair and stands before me. We’re so close I can feel heat radiating from his body. He pushes a strand of my hair off my cheek and my breath catches. “We certainly do.” I swallow hard as he steps back and grabs his bag off the floor. “I’ll see you later.”

As soon as he’s out of sight I plop down in my chair and rub my temples. I remember he mentioned coming to New York last time we spoke on the phone, but I thought he was joking. I’m not angry he’s here or anything. I don’t like being caught off guard, especially where I work.

I sigh. Will I ever be able to figure this man out?

Chapter 16

RIFF

Okay, so surprising her didn’t go exactly like I’d planned. I wasn’t expecting a Hollywood sap where she runs into my arms in happy tears, but I was at least expecting a smile. It was like she was embarrassed I was there, which stung a little. I know I’m not exactly clean-cut, but I’m not horrid or anything. Maybe she’s more uptight than I thought.

“Go on up, sir,” Aubrey’s doorman says after he calls her to confirm I’m allowed in. I guess all the tattoos make me seem a little intimidating and untrustworthy.

Once I’m on the correct floor I track down her apartment number and then let myself in with the key. I pull my sunglasses off my face, glancing around the small space. The kitchen and living room are practically in the same room, which is typical for places in the city. There’s a large brown couch in the middle of the room and three blue doors to my right. I set my bag inside and shut the door behind me.

It smells nice in here, like some sort of apple scent. I can totally tell this is a girl’s place. I haven’t stayed in a place that’s had a woman’s touch in a long time.

My ringtone echoes around the room. I pull the phone out of my pocket.

Shit. A call from him is never good.

“Yeah?” I say into the receiver after hitting talk.

“Don’t yeah me you little shit. I’m your father. You give me some respect when I talk to you,” he slurs into the phone.

I clench my fist. “What do you want?”

“I need more money.”

Fuck me. “You went through thirty thousand dollars in less than two weeks?”

He laughs bitterly into the phone. “Well, since I have to take care of all the bills by myself since your mother isn’t here that chump change you call a paycheck you send doesn’t last long.”

I rub my forehead vigorously. “Do you have any idea how much fucking money that is? What did you spend it on?”

“I spent a weekend in Vegas. Next time I’m going on vacation you need to send me more money.”

“I’m not sending you anymore,” I growl.

“You will send me more money or I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” I fire back. “There’s nothing you can do to me. Not anymore. Your threats of beating my ass no longer scare me. I’ve done nothing to you!”

“Other than kill my wife and daughter! You’re a murdering son of a bitch, Zachary! You owe me money because you took away my life. If you hadn’t done what you did they’d both still be alive. How do you expect me to deal with all this and work? I can’t and it’s your fault. That’s why you send me the goddamn money.”

Tears burn my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. “Fine. I’ll send you two million dollars and then we’re fucking done. Forever. You get me? Totally forget my fucking number.”

“No problem. Send me the money and you’ll never hear from me again.” His voice almost sounds giddy and it makes me sick to my stomach.

How can he be so excited to exploit their deaths? It’s fucking sick.

“Great. I’ll have my accountant wire it to your account,” I say and then hang up the phone.

Two million dollars is a small price to pay if he keeps him off my back.

Anger pulses through my veins. I raise my foot and shove the small brown coffee table across the room. It crashes into another small stand holding a lamp and it falls to the floor shattering against the hardwood floor.

I lean back against the wall and slide down it. It’s times like these I wish I was dead, too. Sometimes life is too fucking hard and I can’t even deal. I stretch my legs out in front of me and stare up at the white ceiling.

Why did my life have to turn out this way? I never imagined as a kid I would end up like this—a broken piece of a man. No one ever says when they grow up they want to be known as the reason their mom and sister died.

The tears I’ve been trying so hard to hold back drip down my face. I hug my knees into my chest and rest my forehead on them.

The deadbolt clicks and I jerk my head up as the door opens. My heart stops in my chest the moment Aubrey comes into view.

Fuck.

She’s the last person I ever wanted to see me in one of these states. She’ll never want to be with me if she sees how unstable I am with my emotions.

I flick the tears off my cheeks and quickly stand up as she takes inventory of the destroyed room. “Hey. I’m sorry about the mess. I’ll totally clean it up and replace all the broken stuff.”

She glances at my face and then touches my cheek with her fingertips, whipping away a residual tear. “What happened? Are you okay?”

I nod. “Yeah. It’s fine. I was on the phone with my dad. He has a way of getting under my skin.”

She frowns. “Is it about money again?”

I flinch. So she wasn’t asleep through that phone call after all. “You heard that?”

“Yes, but I didn’t mean to, so I pretended to be asleep so you wouldn’t feel awkward or feel like you had to explain yourself to me. I was just some girl you slept with.”

I cup her face in my hands. “You were never that to me. I can’t explain it, but right from the start, I knew you were special. There’s something about you that pulls me in. No matter how much I try to force myself to stay away from you, I can’t. I’m no good for you. I know that, but damn it, I can’t stop myself from wanting you.”

Kitten bites her lip. “Then don’t.”

The overwhelming need to have her at that moment crashes over me and I crush my lips against hers. She opens her mouth enough for my tongue to slide in—the silky-smoothness of our wet tongues sliding together my makes my dick throb. It reminds me so much of what being inside her without a condom feels like.

I growl into her mouth as I grab the waistband of her skirt and yank her flush against my body. “I fucking want you.”

She pushes me back against the wall and wraps her arms around my neck. I love it when she’s forceful. Our tongues mingle together while I slide my hand under her shirt. The shear fabric of her bra is all that separates my hand from one of my most favorite parts of her body. I untuck her blouse and begin undoing the tiny white buttons. Once it’s all open I slip my fingers inside her shirt and peel it off her body.

Her bra is nearly see-through. I rub my thumb over her chest. The nipple becomes rigid beneath my hand. I dip my finger inside the cup of her bra and pull the fabric down, revealing her full breast. I bend down and take her nipple into my mouth, playfully biting it. She throws her head back and moans, causing my dick to jerk hard inside my jeans.

Her skin blazes against my lips as I kiss a path back up to her mouth. All of my fingers find their way into her hair and I yank her head back a little as I kiss her hungrily. The material of my black t-shirt strains as she yanks a handful in her fists and kisses me back with just as much force. This rougher sex turns me on more than anything. I like the battle for control. A woman who knows what she wants is always fucking sexy.

I reach behind her and unhook her bra before pulling it off and tossing it to the floor.

I walk her backwards towards the couch, and when the back of her knees hit it, I lay her down.

The need to have her skin on mine zings through me, causing me to practically rip my shirt off my body in order to get it over my head. Aubrey peers up at me with her almond-shaped eyes while her chest heaves. I tug at the zipper on the side of her skirt and slide it, along with her panties, down her legs.

She starts to kick off her red stilettos, but I grab her ankle and shake my head. “Leave those on.”

I toss her clothes to the floor and stare down at her naked perfection. Her red hair and pumps only increase her sexiness factor. I wrap my hand around her right ankle and lift it to my lips. I kiss and lick my way to her inner thigh and she squirms beneath me as I slide a knee against her other leg on the couch.

I throw her leg over my shoulder and bend down at the waist. The tip of my index finger flicks over her clit a few times before it moves inside her. I trace her folds with my tongue before I wiggle it over her sweet spot.

Within a couple minutes her back starts arching—I love that she’s so receptive. It makes it really hard to hold back my urge to drive into her.

“Oh, god,” she whimpers while grabbing a hold of my ear with her hand, holding me firmly in place. “Yes!”

As soon as her legs stop shaking I grab her hips and yank her towards me. I shove my jeans and underwear down and kick them across the room in my excitement to have her again.

I grab the base of my cock and swirl it around her entrance a few times before sliding it inside her. It’s so warm and inviting. I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on how fucking good it feels. “Your pussy is so nice and wet for me. I’ve missed this so fucking much.”

I lean down and run my nose along her jaw line. The intense scent of fruity shampoo and a light perfume fill my nose. Every nerve inside me is consumed with her presence.

I pull my hips back and then thrust them again, stretching every inch of her around my dick as I go in deeper. Her legs relax and open even wider on the next pump and I can almost get my entire length inside her, but it’s still too tight to push the entire cock in. “Shit, Kitten. You’re so fucking tight.”

I drag my lips across the flesh of her neck. Her head drifts to the side and a moan escapes those red, pouty lips. She’s getting close again already. I increase my pace and allow my hips to smack into her thighs. When her eyes close, I lean up and continue to pump into her. I slide my hand down her belly until it finds the top of her pussy. I flick my thumb across her clit and her entire body jerks while she gasps.

“Fucking come for me,” I growl as I pump harder while the heel of her shoe digs into my ass.

The urge to taste her rages inside me, so I snake my tongue out and lick her earlobe before nibbling on it. Kitten grabs my face with both hands and crushes her lips against mine.

A growl rumbles in my chest as the need to claim her pushes through me. “Tell me you’re mine. Tell me you want me.”

She peers up at me through sex-hazed eyes and says, “I want to be with you. I think I have since that first night.”

I kiss her with as much force as I can without hurting her. Knowing that she’s finally admitted she wants me too makes this the best fuck I’ve ever had. I bury my face in her shoulder and wrap her tight in my arms and I pound into her, searching for my own release.

“Zach,” she breathes my name and it’s my undoing.

My breath comes out in ragged spurts as my cock tenses then blasts her full as I release into her. The way I feel about this girl is crazy. This crazy connection is odd to me and I can’t quite wrap my head around it. It’s like she genuinely cares for me, and that’s something from a woman I’ve never had.

I collapse on top of her. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get enough of that.”

She runs her hand down my back. “That’s good, considering I just committed to you.”

I lean up on my elbow so I can look into her eyes. “You’re serious about that?”

Kitten bites her lip. “Weren’t you?”

I pin her gaze with mine. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this. I’m a little afraid.”

“Of what?” she whispers.

“Of disappointing you,” I admit.

She licks her lips and places her palm on my cheek. “Be real with me and let me in and you won’t.”

I give her a sad smile. She has no idea what she’s asking for. “I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask.”

My heart squeezes as I lean down and kiss her lips. For the first time ever I find myself sleeping with someone who’s committed to me and it feels fucking amazing.

AUBREY

After one last kiss, I push myself away from the couch and out of Zach’s arms. I can’t believe we defined our relationship into more. It’s crazy. Never in a million years would I have ever believed Riff of Black Falcon would be the man to crave and commit to a relationship with me.

“Where are you going?” Zach grabs my wrist.

I turn and smile at him. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Okay don’t be too long.” He smirks as he smacks my bare ass.

I giggle as I head towards the bathroom and stop short of the shattered lamp that’s still lying on the floor. His father triggers instant rage in him. I’m not sure why Zach owes his father money, but whatever the reason, it seems to tear him up every time he calls.

“I’ll clean all that up,” Zach says behind me as he places both hands on my shoulders. “I swear I’ll replace everything I broke.”

I nod and pat his hand. “Okay.”

I want to bombard him with questions but I know it’s too soon. Someone like Zach cannot be pushed.

His warm lips place a light kiss on the side of my neck. “I promise.”

After my shower I come out of the bathroom to find my apartment clean. You would never know a wrathful hurricane came through here. The aroma of some sort of mouthwatering food fills the apartment and I find myself drawn towards it. Zach’s stands in the kitchen over my stove stirring a steaming pot.

It’s an odd sight, really. One of the world’s hardest rockers appearing all domesticated in my kitchen, cooking dinner, no less. His rough exterior of all the tattoos makes me think more of Ozzy Osbourne than Martha Stewart. All he’s missing is a polka-dotted apron.

He glances up and smiles when catches me watching him intently. “I figured you might be hungry after working all day.”

“I’m starving,” I say as I sit on the stool at the bar and watch him work.

Zach sticks a fork into the pot and brings one of the spaghetti noodles up the side and cuts it in two. “This was how my mom taught me to check if the noodles were cooked thoroughly. If they cut apart with ease, they’re done.”

“Good tip. I wish I knew how to cook.”

He places a strainer in my sink. “Maybe I can teach you all my mad skills. Mom taught me a ton of helpful little tips before she passed.”

That’s the first time I’d ever heard Zach talk fondly about his mother and that makes me curious about her. “Can I ask you something?”

He grabs the pot handles with some dishtowels and carries it over to the sink to strain the water off the noodles. “Shoot.”

I swallow hard, knowing this might not be a place he wants to go with me yet. “What happened to her?”

He pauses for the briefest second and then shakes the rest of the noodles out of the pot. “She killed herself soon after Hailey died.”

I gasp and grab my chest. “I’m so sorry. That had to be hard on you.”

He nods as he carries the pot full of strained noodles back to the stove and dumps the simmering red sauce over the noodles and begins to stir. “It was. Losing them both so close was almost more than I could bear. I almost didn’t make it myself. It was a very dark time in my life.”

I lean my elbow up on the counter. “What brought you out of it?”

He opens the cabinets searching for plates. “Trip mainly, and Tyke. Music—the way I could lose myself in it. It helped me forget how shitty my life was, still does to this day.”

“Are things still bad for you now?” I wonder out loud.

Zach shrugs as he fills two plates full. “It’s getting better, or at least right now it feels like it is.”

I smile as he sets a plate of spaghetti in front of me. “Thank you. It looks amazing. I have to say this is a first for me.”

He sits beside me. “What is?”

“A man has never cooked for me before. You’re full of surprises.”

He winks at me, like there’s more up his sleeve before taking a bite of food. “Sorry there’s no meat in it. You didn’t have any hamburger. Tomorrow I’ll go shopping for us and cook for you while I’m here. Hopefully I can teach you a thing or two.”

“I’d like that.” I twirl a noodle around my fork and pop it into my mouth. “Mmmm. This is so good.”

He grins. “I’m glad you like it.”

The question of what’s happened in his past still lingers on my mind. If his mother killed herself over the grief of the loss of her daughter, why does Zach’s father blame him for their deaths? Suicide is a personal choice kind of thing. It isn’t like Zach made her do that. Something about the whole situation doesn’t add up and while he’s being so sharing I might as well try to figure out the mystery behind this man.

“Can I ask you something else?” I ask quietly.

Zach takes a drink of his water and says, “You can ask me anything you want and I’ll try to be as honest as I can with you.”

“It’s about your sister...” He freezes up again at the mention of bringing up his sister again. I’m starting to see the pattern with that every time I ask something about her. It’s almost as if he’s afraid to talk about her. “What happened to her?”

He sets his glass on the bar in front of us. “She died in a car crash.”

At first I think those kinds of tragic accidents happen every day. I still don’t see how Zach’s dad blames him for any of this.

Zach traces patterns in the condensation on the glass and I worry he’s shutting down again until he opens his mouth and continues. “There was a guy in my high school—a real know-it-all type jackass, and he kept taunting me with his flashy new Mustang. I always tried my best to ignore petty bullshit like that, but this guy was able to get under my skin like no other. He talked so much shit everyday about how his car would smoke my Camaro in a race, that one day it finally got to me.”

This is not the story I was expecting from him and I’m perplexed on where he’s going with this. “So what happened?”

He sighs. “I told him I’d race him after school to get him to shut the fuck up.”

I crunch my brow. “How did that involve Hailey?”

He stares down at the counter and takes a deep breath. “I was responsible for driving Hailey home from school. Instead of making her wait at a playground or something while I raced, I kept her in the car with me.” He frowns. “I thought she was safer with me than alone at a park. There’s so many weirdo creeps. I didn’t want one to come along and take my eight year old sister, you know.”

My heart leaps up into my throat as everything starts clicking. Hailey’s death. The fact Zach’s sterile. “There was a crash?”

He nods. “It was a two lane road. An oncoming car forced me off the road and I hit an embankment and the car flipped us about five times. I broke an arm and fractured my pelvis. Doctors said I was lucky to even be alive because I was so mangled. Most of the damage was on Hailey’s side, though. She was gone on impact and it was all my fault.” He sucks in a deep breath and he starts choking up. “I never meant to hurt her.”

I rub his back and place my chin on his shoulder as my heart aches to comfort him. “I’m sorry.”

Zach wipes away a fallen tear. “Thank you, but I don’t deserve sympathy. I should’ve died, too.”

“You were just a kid,” I say softly. “Kids make bad choices, doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to grieve.”

“But it’s my fault she’s dead. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I did. My parents never did. I killed their baby.” He sniffs.

“Don’t say that. It was an accident,” I try to ease his burden.

He shakes his head. “My own mother said that at my trial. She told the court to punish me to the fullest extent of the law for killing her baby.”

I gasp and clutch my chest. “You went to jail over this, too?”

“Juvenile prison and my license was suspended until I was twenty five, but I think they let me off light. I deserve to still be rotting in that jail cell.”

“It was an accident, Zach. You didn’t mean to hurt her. You have to learn to forgive yourself,” I say.

“I don’t think I ever will. The best I can hope for is little moments of forgetting, like my time with you.” He stares into my eyes. “When I’m with you, I don’t feel as shitty about my life. You give me hope that I can maybe one day be a better person.”

I place my hand on his arm. “You’re already a good person. You have a good heart. I know that. You need to know it, too.”

He sets his hand on mine that still rests on his forearm. “I’m trying, but deep down I think I know I don’t deserve anything good.”

I stand and wrap my arms around his neck. He squeezes me around the waist in a tight embrace and we hold each other, connecting without words.

This man is far more complex than I thought. I’m glad he trusts me enough to tell me his story, but I get the feeling that he hasn’t known real love in a long time, and that explains so much. It answers the question on why he’s never settled down even though he’s got a good heart.

I’m going to show him that he’s capable of giving and receiving love. He deserves to know he can.

Chapter 17

RIFF

I put away all the groceries I bought from the local shop. I’m excited. Before I leave in the next couple days, I’m going to teach Aubrey how to cook one of Mom’s specialties, chicken and noodles. Granted we aren’t making the noodles from scratch like Mom did, but these frozen ones will work out nicely.

Waiting on Aubrey to get back from work is more difficult than I thought. I filled my days with sleeping or shopping while she’s at work, not the most glamorous tour break I’ve ever had, but it’s been the most rewarding. Our connection keeps getting better, even after day four with her—I’m still not annoyed. Matter of fact it’s the opposite. I want to spend every second with her, which is so unlike me.

I begged her to blow off the rest of the week and spend all her time with me, but she’s too responsible for that. Center Stage is a huge advertising firm, and she explained how she’s lucky she even has a foot in the door considering how competitive it is to even get an internship there, let alone a job. She’s a secretary to some young, hot-shot type. From the way Aubrey described him, he sounds like an uptight pain in the ass.

I could never work for a douche like that without telling him to shove his memo corrections up his ass.

I plop down on the couch in the living room after all the stuff is stored and flip on the television. Some afternoon celebrity tabloid show pops up on the screen. It catches my eye immediately because Noel and Lanie’s faces fill the screen in a kiss while a jagged line cuts down part of the screen and shows Sophie walking with her head down. The words home wrecker flashes and my fingers tighten around the remote.

These fucking tabloid shows never get their shit straight. The shit they tell the world is half-truths at best.

A text message chimes into my phone. I grin as I read Aubrey’s words. “Miss you. Be there in a few minutes.”

Never in a million years did I ever figure I would feel like this. For once in my miserable life I don’t feel like a completely evil being all the time. And Aubrey didn’t go running for the hills when I came clean about my past, which was a relief. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost this feeling so soon after getting a taste of what happiness feels like.

The door opens and Aubrey steps through it. Her auburn hair styled into loose waves over her shoulders stand out against her gray sweater-dress. Even after eight hours of work she still looks amazing.

“Hey,” she says with a smile. Her bright green eyes focus on me as she sets her bag down and plops down next to me on the couch and snuggles into my side. “I missed you.”

I comb my fingers down her silky hair and then kiss her forehead. I don’t even want to think about how much I’ll miss her when I head back out on tour. I know distance is the true test of all relationships.

“Do you want a break from cooking tonight?”

I pull back and she peers up at me through her sexy, long eyelashes. “Why? Are you tired of my cooking already?”

She shakes her head. “No. I thought maybe you wanted to take a break and we can go out to eat.”

I shrug. “I’m okay with cooking, but if you want to go out, we can do that, too.”

“There’s a place around the corner that I love—really low key, and has my favorite pizza in the whole world.”

“Sounds good, Kitten. Anything you want.”

She kisses my cheek. “I’m going to go get ready.”

An hour later, she comes out of her room in jeans, a black top, and tall heels. She stops and grins as she does a little turn so I can check out her entire outfit. The black blouse dips down so low I can see the small of her back. “Jesus. Are you sure you want to go out. I’m sporting a half-wood just looking at you.”

She grins. “Then this is perfect. I like making you wait because I don’t think you’re used to that.”

I stand and wrap my arms around her, pressing myself against her. “I’m not used to anything like you.” A blush floods her cheeks. “I like that you can’t hide emotions. Your fair skin gives you away every time.”

She giggles and kisses my lips. “I’m glad I stand out.”

“You have no idea how much.”

The restaurant is tiny, almost to the point that if I weren’t aware of it, I would’ve never found it. Ten small, two-person tables fill the dimly lit dining area and the rest of the space is brick ovens and kitchen. Customers picking up carryout orders stream in and out of the door in constant revolution. The heavenly aroma of melted cheese and simmering sauce surrounds us as we take out seats.

“It smells good,” I say.

Kitten smiles as she opens the sticky menu. “That’s because it’s awesome. Once you try it, you’ll see.”

The dark-haired waitress wearing a red and white checkered apron pops over to our table. “What’ll it be?”

“I’ll have a Coke,” Aubrey answers.

“Make that two,” I add.

The server yanks a green notepad from her apron pocket and cracks her gum. “Do you know what kind of pizza you want?”

I glance over at Kitten. “I can eat anything, so order whatever you like.”

“We’ll have a pepperoni with extra cheese, please.”

The waitress scribbles the order down and says, “It’ll be out in a few.”

The girl scurries off in the direction of the kitchen and once she’s out of earshot I turn towards Aubrey. “Did you have a good day at work?”

She shrugs. “Same old same, you know. I did get to type up a couple memos for the Black Falcon account, so at least I was allowed to think about you all day.”

I bite my lip and rake my eyes over her. The idea of her having dirty thoughts about me all day at work is nearly enough to make me say fuck the pizza. “What exactly was I doing in these daydreams?”

She giggles. “Lots of things...”

Her words trail off and that only excites me more. “Care to elaborate? I hope it’s kinky. You know I like it when you’re like that.”

As she opens her mouth to speak, her eyes widen as she glances over my shoulder. I turn to find a guy wearing a yellow, polo shirt and pressed khakis at my left. The shirt nearly matches the color of his perfectly styled hair. He reminds me of Hailey’s perfectly plastic Ken doll only with glasses.

“Hey, Aubrey. I didn’t know you frequented this place,” Ken doll says while completely overlooking the fact that I’m sitting right here.

Kitten sits a little straighter in her chair. “It’s one of my favorites. Isaac, this is my...” She gestures to me but trails off unsure of what to call me.

Things click. This is Isaac, as in her douche bag of a boss that grates on her nerves. I stick my hand out to the dude. “Boyfriend. Riff. What’s up, bro.”

I’m not sure whose eyebrows raise higher, Kitten or Issac’s when I proclaim our relationship status for the first time to a stranger. I want people to know she’s taken. Might as well start with her boss, because I can see the way he’s looking at her. This fucker needs to know to keep his dick in his pants.

He grips my hand and gives it a firm shake. “Good to meet you. I actually work at Center Stage. I’ve had a hand in helping out with your charity project alongside Lanie Vance. I didn’t know you knew Aubrey personally.”

His eyes flick over to Aubrey’s face and she merely shrugs under his gaze like she’s been caught in something. “It never came up.”

Isaac’s eyes never leave her and instantly I feel a surge to protect what’s mine come over me. I need to get rid of this joker before I lose my cool. “Okay, well, good to meet you. She’ll see you at work then.”

Aubrey flinches at the sudden short tone of my voice and then turns back to her boss with an apologetic smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Isaac.”

Isaac stands there for a moment like he’s debating something before he nods. “Tomorrow it is, then.”

The minute he walks away Aubrey turns towards me with a frown. “Why did you do that?”

I lean in further towards her. “Because I saw the way that Ken doll looked at you. I want him to know up front that he can’t have you.”

She squares her shoulders. “I’m perfectly capable of handling things on my own, and don’t call him that.”

“What? A Ken doll?”

“Yes!” she snaps. “It’s rude.”

I lean in. “Have you not seen the guy? He looks Barbie’s fake fucking boyfriend. Too perfect to be real.”

She rolls her eyes. “He does not, besides he won’t try anything if he knows I’m with someone. He’s not that type of man.”

I shake my head. “Sometimes guys need a little more deterrent than a polite no from a woman for the message to sink in that she’s not interested. Take us for example. That first night in the hall, your mouth said no, but your body said yes. I’m keeping things clear in this case. You’re mine, Kitten. You said so yourself. Now it’s time the world knew.”

Admitting my feelings about claiming her out loud makes me seem a little cavemanish but I don’t give a shit. I want her. The thought of another man thinking about fucking her is enough to drive me over the edge.

I wait for her to be pissed and tell me that I don’t own her and all that crap that I’ve seen women spout when their men try to control them, but Aubrey does quite the opposite. She smiles.

“I hope you know that goes two ways.” She eyes me carefully. “If we’re exclusive then that means no other women for you.”

I lean back in the chair and lick my lips. “Kitten, there’s no other woman on this planet that can compete with you, so I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

Her smile grows wider and I can’t wait to prove to her that I am worthy of her trust because, after all, isn’t that the foundation to a good relationship?

AUBREY

I watch Zach throw the last of his things in a duffel bag. “I can’t believe you have to go back already.”

My heart sinks at the thought of not being with him every day. Believe it or not, in a week I’ve grown used to having him here all the time.

He walks around the bed and pulls me up by both hands. “Come with me.”

I throw my arms around his neck and squeeze against him. “I can’t. I have my job here and all.”

He sighs and rests his forehead against mine. “I know. I wish you’d quit and come on the road with me. I like having you with me.”

“That would be better than anything in the world, but I’ve worked so hard for this degree and it’s the best company in the field. I can’t give that up.”

He nods. “I know, but it doesn’t make the pain of leaving you here hurt any less.”

I rub the back of his head and the stubble scratches my fingertips. “I feel the same way. But like you said, we’re only an airplane ride apart. Maybe I can come to you on weekends or something.”

“I’ll take whatever you can give me.” He leans in and presses his lips to mine.

A crushing weight sits on my chest knowing this will be the last kiss I get from him in a while. I close my eyes, but it doesn’t stop the burn that’s taking them over. Squeezing them tighter doesn’t work either. It merely forces a tear out of the corner of my eye.

“Don’t cry,” he whispers, “I’ll see you again before you know it.”

The call button on my apartment rings as someone buzzes the apartment entrance. “That’s your ride.”

I fist his t-shirt in my hands and kiss his lips with as much force as I can muster. This week has been perfect and I’m scared to let him go. I don’t want this feeling to end, and I’m afraid that if we try this long-distance thing it isn’t going to work out. They never do.

“I have to go.” He gives me one last peck. “I’ll call you when I board the plane.”

I nod and pull my hands away from his shirt. I wonder if he feels this, too? The uncertainly of what lies ahead for us?

I sniff and do my best to hide the overwhelming emotion I feel building inside of me. The brightest smile I can afford to show fills my face as he steps back.

“This isn’t goodbye. It’s more like an I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay,” I answer softly.

He grabs his bag, takes one last look at me and then heads out of the bedroom. The minute the front door clicks shut, I fall back against my pillow and allow the breakdown I’ve been holding back to break free.

Never in a million years did I believe that kiss backstage with a sweaty, Mohawked rock star would lead to a connection like this. This is one curveball in life I wasn’t expecting.

Chapter 18

RIFF

I step onto the bus and Trip elbows his brother while they both sit on the love seat playing their video game. They both grin at me from ear to ear and it’s fucking annoying. “What?”

Tyke winks at Trip. “Have a good week off? We missed you at home.”

“Yeah, Riff. Where did you go last week, huh?” Trip asks.

I head towards my bunk and plop my bag inside my foxhole. They’ve obviously already figured it out, so I might as well admit where I was and get their merciless teasing over with now. “You all know exactly where I’ve been, so cut the shit and let’s get this over with.”

Trip and Tyke both howl with laughter. I roll my eyes and roll my hand, telling them to get it all out now.

“I never thought I’d see the day when Riff Oliver falls for a girl,” Tyke says.

“I knew it was coming. It’s about time this stubborn asshole admits he’s capable of feelings,” Trip adds. “I’m happy for you, bro. So tell us, is she walking funny?”

“You guys are idiots. I don’t know how I’ve put up with you two this long,” I answer as I shake my head and totally avoid his question.

“Because we’re the only ones crazy enough to put up with your moody ass,” Trip says.

I open my mouth to answer, but quickly shut it, knowing he’s probably right.

“She’s not coming on the bus with us too is she?” Tyke asks while pounding away on the remote.

I crunch my brow. “So what if she does?”

“Relax, dude. It’ll be tight is all. Noel is bringing Lanie back on the bus with him. Two chicks on this bus with us, hogging the bathroom all the time and complaining about our filth, might be more than the rest of us can take,” Trip clarifies.

“I thought Lanie was going to her mom’s place?” Maybe he’s planning to keep her with him. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I’d keep Aubrey here if I could.

Tyke shakes his head. “Noel called earlier and said that she’s staying for a while.”

All this talk about girlfriends on the bus makes me miss my Kitten. I pull out my cell and dial her number.

“Hey,” she says into the phone. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you until tonight.”

I cradle the phone between my ear and shoulder as I grab my Oreos and a cup of milk. “Guess I couldn’t wait. So what are you up to?”

I sit at the table and fill her in about the details of my flight home as I stack my cookies on the table. The twins instantly shut up and go busy themselves with restocking the kitchen once their game ends.

Noel walks in with Lanie under his arm. She stretches up on her toes and kisses his cheek before heading towards the bedroom to settle in. Noel grins as he watches her down the hall.

I sigh. Seeing shit like that isn’t going to help me to get over missing Kitten.

Aubrey starts explaining the plot of some movie she watched on television as Tyke hands Noel a beer from across the island and distracts me from my private conversation. “Good break? I see that sappy grin.”

It’s hard not to listen to Noel and Tyke talk too since they’re practically standing next to me and aren’t exactly quiet when they speak.

Noel twists off the cap. “Don’t hate.”

Tyke holds his palm hands up. “I’m not. It’s going to be weird around here with both you and Riff settled down and all.”

Noel chokes on his drink and quickly wipes his mouth. “Riff?” I grin as shock registers on his face. “With who?”

Tyke gives him a pointed look. “Lane’s friend, Aubrey. Who else?”

His eyebrows rise. “Realllllly? Wow. I thought they just hooked up.”

Tyke shrugs. “Apparently he spent the entire break with her in New York, and he’s been on the phone with her now for the last hour.”

“Huh,” he says while he shakes his head.

It’s official my world is officially changing and everyone around me knows it.

“Zach? You still there?” Aubrey questions on the other end of the line.

I readjust in my seat. “Sorry, I’m still here. The guys are all coming in. Looks like Lane’s staying on the bus with us for a while.”

“That’s great. She and Noel need some time together to finish reconnecting.”

I sigh. “It’d be better if you were here.”

“I’m hoping soon. I can take a half day off work on a Friday and fly out to you for the weekend sometime this month. I don’t think I can go an entire month without seeing you,” she says.

I know it’s twisted to enjoy someone’s misery, but I kind of like the idea that she’s missing me. It makes me feel almost downright giddy.

I try to frown as I say, “Soon,” but I don’t think I succeed because even I can hear the smile in my voice.

I roll my eyes. I’ve actually turned into one of those pussy-whipped pansies I always make fun of. Good god. What’s this girl doing to me?

After three weeks of constant texting and emails I don’t know how much longer I can go without seeing Kitten. This distance thing is killer. I’d give anything to be able to hold her in my arms all night like I did back at her apartment.

The catering area backstage at this show is pretty small. The room holds two round tables with four seats at each. Part of the road crew for Black Falcon fill one table, while the other is populated by Striker and Donovan from Embrace the Darkness. I roll my eyes and head to their table. I’d prefer to stay away from these two assholes, but I’m not going to let them bully me out of a seat to eat my dinner.

I sit down and open my silverware packet and pill out a plastic knife to butter my roll. The two men look up at me as I sit down without asking permission. Striker tucks a strand of his black hair behind his ear and relaxes, while Donovan smirks next to him.

Striker eyes me as I prep my food. “Hey, mate. How’s it going?”

His British accent is so strong at times it’s hard to understand him.

“Good. You?” I return pleasantries before I take a bite of food.

“Not bad. Say...” He leans in on his elbow. “I heard that little dish, Lanie Vance is staying on with Noel. Is that true, then?”

I swallow hard. “You better be careful with that. Noel’s not messing around when it comes to her. He’s serious about her. I suggest you stay away from her if you know what’s good for you.”

Both men laugh and my fingers curl into fists.

“Right, well, I don’t think I’ll be taking lessons in love from the likes of you. No offense, mate, but you don’t exactly have longevity with the ladies,” Striker says.

Donovan shakes his head next to him. “I don’t know. He’s seems attached to the red-head he’s been fucking—tries to fight me every time I tried to get a piece of that action.”

“Watch it, dick.” Anger rages through me and I fantasize about punching this dick square in the throat.

Donovan throws his hands up in surrender. “Easy. Take it easy. She’s yours. I fucking get that. It doesn’t mean I still don’t think she’s hot as fuck, because let’s face it. She is.”

I uncurl my fingers and they throb as the blood begins to flow back into them. He’s right. Kitten is a sexy woman. I noticed her beauty right away, so I imagine the rest of the male and half the female population does, too. First it was Donovan, then that pencil-dick boss of hers and I’m sure they won’t be the last.

I need to figure out a way to cool all my emotional shit before she gets tired of my bullshit.

I shrug causally. “She is, and I plan on keeping her all to myself for a very long time.”

“Blimey,” Striker says. “Are you telling me the biggest player I know is settling down?”

“It’s time, man. She’s the one.”

It’s a lot easier than I thought to admit my feelings. Maybe it’s because Aubrey makes me feel so different, that it feels natural to want to be a different person—a better one.

Still, I don’t want to push this level of calm anymore. If I stay here much longer I may rip their heads off. I finish my plate and stand before taking off towards the bus.

A string of groupies line the parking lot. They instantly paw at me the moment I’m within reach. Normally I would be eyeing one to hand a golden ticket to, but I have absolutely no desire for random sex. I only crave realness and that’s something only one woman in the entire world has ever given me. There’s no way I would break the little bit of trust we’ve built on a random fling.

AUBREY

My cell rings while I’m at work and I curse myself for not muting my ringer here. If someone’s personal cell goes off with a music ringtone these people love to hand out dirty looks like candy.

I yank it out of my purse and answer Lanie’s call. “What’s up? Can I call you back in a bit?”

“This will only take a second,” she says in a rush. “My mother fell and broke her leg.”

I gasp. “Oh my god. Is she okay?”

“I hope so. I’m on my way to Texas as we speak to find out what’s going on and take care of her. Quitting my job couldn’t have worked out better since I would’ve probably been fired for taking time off anyhow.”

“Fate has a strange way of pointing us in the directional path of our life. That’s for sure.”

She sighs. “Isn’t that the truth? I’ll call you when I find out more about her.”

“Okay. Love you,” I tell her.

“Love you, too.” She ends the call and I throw the phone back in my purse.

Isaac pokes his head out of his office. “Hey, Aubrey. You got a second before we head out for the weekend?”

I nod and pick up my paper and pen. “Sure.”

I walk into Isaac’s office and he’s already back at his desk. “Close the door, would you?” He gestures for me to take a seat across from him after we’re shut inside together. I pick up my pen ready to take notes. “You won’t need that.”

I tilt my head as my confusion shows through my body language. “Okay?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you how you and Riff are doing?”

I stiffen. Oh shit. Are we seriously going to do this? “We’re good. Thanks.”

He taps his chin. “How long have you been seeing him?”

I bite my lip. “A few weeks.”

He nods like it answers some unspoken question of his. “We’re you seeing him when we went out for drinks?”

I shake my head. “No. Not at that point.”

“Things seem serious between the two of you. Are they?”

“They’re definitely moving in that direction, I think.”

He leans in on the desk. “You know, Aubrey. Men like Riff usually don’t hang around long term. I would hate for you to get hurt.”

“I appreciate your concern, but I think I’m capable of managing my own love life. If that’s all...”

I turn to walk out of the door, but his voice stops me. “Aubrey, I won’t hold this against you once things end with him. I would still very much like that date with you.”

I don’t reply to that. How can I? He basically said my worst fear out loud—that Zach would break my heart like all the others before him. I pray that he’s wrong and our connection is strong enough to make a real go out of this relationship.

Chapter 19

RIFF

We roll on towards the next city on our tour as Noel carries luggage from the back bedroom to the front of the bus and drops it near the steps. Tyke and I sit at the table eating breakfast, while Trip stands at the island finishing a bowl of cereal.

I eyeball the bag before turning my gaze on him. “What the fuck is that?”

He shrugs apologetically. “I have to go, man.”

“Go where?” Trip asks wiping milk from his lip after slurping down what’s left in his bowl.

“He’s going to Texas to be with Lane,” I answer, knowing that because that’s exactly what I would do if I were him.

“What about the rest of our shows?” Tyke asks with a frown on his face.

“We’ll have to cancel or postpone them, I suppose.” We all stare at Noel like he’s lost his fucking mind. “Guys I’m sorry, but she needs me for a week or so. Her mom broke her leg, and she’s sick. I have to go.”

I flex my jaw muscle. As much as I want to be with Kitten, I would never screw people that depend on us. “Fine. If you want to disappoint all the fans because you’re being selfish—”

“Selfish? This is the first time in my life I’m thinking of others.” Noel meets each one of our stares individually. “I love her, guys. I have to be there when she needs me. I would really appreciate a little understanding on this.”

After a couple tense moments of silence, I rub my chin. “I guess pushing back the dates a couple weeks wouldn’t kill anybody.” Trip and Tyke nodded in agreement. “I’ll work on having them change the dates. It won’t be easy, and will be a total pain in my ass, but I’ll do it. Go take care of things.”

A grin creeps up on Noel’s face. “Thanks guys, I’ll owe you one.”

Secretly I know I’m the one who should be thanking him because he granted me the freedom to head off and see my girl.

AUBREY

The intercom by my apartment door buzzes as I sit down to watch a movie. I get up and press the button to answer.

“Good evening, Miss Jenson. Zach Oliver is here to see you,” Barney, my doorman, says.

My heart races in my chest. Zach is here? He didn’t even call to tell me. To say I’m shocked is an understatement. “Send him up.”

I dash over to a mirror to fluff my hair up a bit and reapply some lip-gloss. I finish the last minute makeup touches as Zach knocks on the door. I fly over and yank it open.

A wide grin covers his face the moment he sees me. He looks amazing in his red t-shirt, faded jeans and boots. I practically leap at him and throw my arms around his neck.

Strong arms wrap around my waist as he lifts me into the air. “God. I’ve missed you.”

The scent of him is amazing. It’s like some sort of spicy soap. “I can’t believe you’re here! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

My toes touch the ground as he sets me down. “I wanted to surprise you.”

I press my lips to his. “Well you succeeded. I’ve never been more surprised in my life.”

He laughs. “Then my mission is complete.”

I grab him by the hand after he lets me go and reaches down for his bag. “How did you manage this?”

We sit down on the couch with me practically on his lap. “Lanie’s been sick the last couple days and is having a hard time helping her mom after surgery. We cancelled some tour dates so Noel could fly to be with her, and I’m taking full advantage of my time off.”

I snuggle into his side. “I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been practically starving since you’ve been gone.”

He kisses the top of my head. “I know the feeling. I’ve been sexually frustrated since I saw you last.”

I smack his arm playfully. “I meant food, but I’ve been a little hungry in that department too.”

Zach threads his fingers into my hair and tilts my head up until we’re practically nose to nose. “I think I can fix that on both accounts.”

The firmness of his lips against mine is just as I remember. They’re assured and know exactly what they want and I find an odd comfort in that. My fingers wrap around the nape of his neck as I hold him against me.

Our kisses deepen and Zach scoops me into his arms and carries me off into the bedroom where I’m sure one of my hungers is about to be thoroughly satisfied.

After being locked away in my apartment for nearly twenty-four hours, we decide it’s time to come up for air. The bar a couple blocks away from apartment hosts a variety of patrons. There are the uptight suits along with the everyday working class heroes.

Zach leads me inside the dimly lit establishment by the hand. A long bar fills most of the space and is the focal point of the room. People mill about with their drinks chatting amongst one another as we pass by.

A couple women stare at Zach a little too long for my liking as we pass by them. I squeeze his hand a little tighter as he stays oblivious to their attentions. Deep down I know I need to get used to the idea of women lusting after my man. He is a famous rock star, after all, but it’s so easy to forget that when we spend most of our time alone in my tiny apartment.

Zach walks up to the counter and orders us a couple beers while I take in our surroundings. The women that were checking Zach out earlier saunter over to us with their eyes focused on him. I might as well be invisible.

The leggy brunette taps him on the shoulder. “You’re Riff, right?”

He gazes down at the two women and then turns his attention back to the bar. “Yeah, I am.”

The short blonde nudges her friend to speak again. “Can we get your autograph?”

“Sure,” he says without looking at them. “Do you have a pen?”

The blonde shakes her head. “Not on us. We were hoping you’d take us to your room so we can show you a little double fan appreciation.”

“Ew,” I say out loud and the girls whip their heads in my direction and nearly shoot daggers at me with their eyes.

Zach turns and rolls his eyes. “I don’t think so.”

The dark-haired girl whines, “What a letdown. I thought you slept with your fans. You’re famous for handing out fuck tickets.”

“Things change. I won’t be doing that shit anymore.” He glances at me and smiles. “I’m a one woman man kind of guy now.”

“Ugh. Come on, Trixie. We’ll find another rich playmate for the night,” Blondie says to her friend before linking their arms and sauntering off in their epically short skirts.

Zach hands me my beer. “Sorry about that. Sleeping around is kind of my trademark.”

I sigh. “I know. It’s why I originally agreed to our first night together, remember.”

He nods. “Ah, that’s right. I was supposed to be your last hoorah before you were going to settle down with someone like that fuck-stick of a boss of yours.”

I cringe as he correlates the idea of Isaac and me together. “You’re right about him, you know.”

He takes a sip of his drink. “What do you mean?”

“About Isaac...he did...does want something more with me,” I admit. “He’s told me so.”

“I told you. My fuck radar is never wrong. I could tell he wanted in your panties the minute he approached our table at the pizza place. He was practically drooling over you.”

I shrug. “Don’t worry. I told him we’re together.”

Zach furrows his brow. “He made another pass at you after I told him you were mine?”

I nod. “He basically told me he’d be waiting for when we didn’t work out and that he wouldn’t hold dating you against me.”

Zach’s jaw muscle works under his skin. “I’m going to kill that motherfucker.”

I place my hand on his chest. “Forget him. He’s not worth getting angry about. Isaac and I will never happen.”

“What if I fuck things up? I can’t shake the feeling that deep down I don’t deserve you and I’m going to fuck us up somehow.”

I shake my head and cup his cheek, forcing him to look at me. “I know you won’t.”

“You don’t know that.” He stares into my eyes, searching for some kind of answer.

My pulse pounds in my ears as I’m about to take a huge chance. “I do because I love you and I think you love me, too.”

Zach closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I wait anxiously on him to respond—to admit he feels the same way. Instead, he grabs my hand and leads us out of the bar back towards the apartment, never answering. My heart completely sinks and I get the distinct feeling I’ve pushed him away.

Chapter 20

RIFF

I lay awake and watch Kitten sleep. When she told me she loves me back at the bar I froze up. The logical thing would’ve been for me to admit that I think I feel that way, too, but instead I panicked and brought her back here where I could have sex and clear my head a little bit.

I mean, I know I feel something for her. I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that, but I also know that I’m not ready for something so monumental. Telling someone you love them is huge. It changes things. I don’t want to say it then find myself knee-deep in groupies fucking their brains out a week later because I decide I’m not ready to be committed that fully.

In order to be fair to her, I need to leave her alone while I sort out this fucked up mess in my head. Accepting someone’s love is just as big of a deal as admitting that you love them back. The last thing I want to do in this world is hurt this beautiful creature lying next to me.

I move her arm off my chest and creep across the hardwood floor to my things. I dress quickly and toss all my stuff back into my bag.

Aubrey rolls over in bed and I freeze. A few seconds later she snuggles back into her pillow and I know the coast is clear. I grab my boots and tip toe into the hall.

I know I owe her more than sneaking out like we had a cheap one-night stand, but I can’t face her. I can’t admit that she deserves so much better than me.

I close the door behind me and slip on my boots before riding the elevator to the lobby. Before I leave, I stop and instruct the door man to ring her apartment and let her know that I left her apartment door unlocked. I can’t in good faith leave her without knowing she’s safe.

I slip the doorman a hundred dollar bill and slap on my ball cap before heading out into the rainy night.

The calls start around midnight. I assume the doorman woke her up and now she’s freaking because she’s seen all my shits gone. Kitten dials my phone repeatedly and guilt washes through me as I shut the phone off while I wait to board the plane to Kentucky. Trip and Tyke are already at the place we share there while we’re on this break.

I text Trip and tell him I’ll be there about two in the morning.

Trip: What the fuck, dude? Something happen between you and Aubrey?

Riff: Explain later.

I type that in and hit send, knowing full well I have no intentions of explaining anything. Trip doesn’t need to know all my fucking business.

Three hours later, I’m pulling my rental car up to my house. It’s nearly five thousand square foot and plenty big enough for me and the twins to live in. We each have our own wing with separate living rooms and bedrooms, so it’s like apartments with a communal kitchen and living area for parties.

Eve, our grandmotherly, live-in housekeeper opens the front door as I shut off the headlights. She’s the best cook in the world, but the nosiest old woman I know, and we affectionately call her our housemother. I grab my bag from the passenger seat and head into the house.

“Trip says you was comin’ home tonight. Says you’re having problems with some girl?” Eve questions in her thick southern accent as I give her a hug hello.

I kiss the top of her gray head. “It’s nothing.”

“Sounded serious according to Trip. He’s done filled me in all about this Aubrey girl when I made supper last night.”

I roll my eyes. “Of course he did.”

“So tell me, sugar. You think this ‘en is the one?”

I sigh and sling my bag over my shoulder. “I think she is, but I’m afraid I’ll hurt her in the end, so I left before things get to serious.”

Eve frowns, deepening the wrinkles around her mouth. “Baby, you can’t let things like that hold you back from true love. If I’d been afraid of love, I would’ve never had forty long years with my Bernie. God rest his soul.”

I know she’s trying to make me feel better, but right now all I want to do is sleep. I place my hand on her shoulder and give it a gentle pat. “I’m going to hit the hay, Eve. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I walk back to my room and glance around. It’s just as I left it. My king-sized bed sits in the middle with a gray comforter and matching pillows. All my books and records neatly line the bookcase on the far end of the room by my computer. I don’t spend much time in here, so I haven’t really personalized it too much. The only picture I have in here is on my nightstand of Hailey and Mom. Up until now, they were the only people that mattered to me other than my bandmates. Aubrey has done a number of fucking with my head and stirring up emotions in me that I don’t like facing.

I flop onto my bed and close my eyes and let sleep take me away from everything.

Trip kicks the edge of my bed. “Get up, jackass. I’m tired of you mopping around her like a lazy alcoholic. Eve’s says she’s not going to bring your meals in here anymore, so you better get up and get ready to be fucking social.”

I toss a pillow at him and pull the blankets over my head. “Fuck you, dude. Leave me alone.”

He yanks my covers off. “You’ve been locked up in here three days now drinking yourself into oblivion. You need to fix this shit.”

“I can’t!” Why doesn’t he let me be?

“You can! Here.” He tosses my cell onto the bed next to me. “Call her.”

“No.”

He folds his arms. “Do it or I’m dragging your ass into the shower myself and hosing that stink off you.”

“God!” I snatch the phone up and search out her number. “You’re annoying as fuck.”

Trip smirks but doesn’t make a move to leave until he hears Aubrey answer.

“Hey,” I say. “It’s me.”

Satisfied with himself, Trip laughs as he shuts my door on his way out and I flip him the finger.

“What happened to you? Did you leave because of what I said in the bar?”

“Yes,” I answer honestly. “I’m not ready for that.”

She sighs into the phone. “I get that. I really do, but you should’ve told me that instead of sneaking out in the middle of the night so you didn’t have to face me like a coward.”

She’s right. Leaving like that was the biggest pussy move in the world to pull. If I were man enough, I would’ve stayed and told her how I felt instead of doing what I did.

“You’re right and I’m sorry for that. You deserve better. Actually you deserve better than me period. That’s why I left.”

“When you say shit like that it’s crazy. I hate when you talk down about yourself like this. Your parents fucked you up. You are capable of love, Zach. You have to open up and let me in. You can’t keep blaming yourself for your mom and sister’s death.”

“They have nothing to do with the way I feel about you,” I growl. “I’m no good for you.”

“Don’t say that,” she cries.

“I’m not, Aubrey. I always ruin everything and hurt the people I love most. If I let myself love you, I’ll let you down. I know it, and that will fucking kill me. I’m barely holding on to a string as it is. I can’t take one more person that I love hating me. I don’t think I’ll make it.”

“That’ll never happen.”

I rub my forehead. She’s not going to give up unless I make her. “It already has.”

“What do you mean?” she questions.

“I’ve moved on, okay. I found a couple chicks last night and brought them back to my place so I can forget about you and how you fucked with my head.”

She’s quiet for a moment and then I hear her sniff on the other line. I pull the phone away from my mouth and stare up at the ceiling cursing myself for being an evil bastard and making her cry.

“So, like I said. I’m no good. It’s best we split now before I actually feel something for you. We’re no good for each other.”

“Okay,” she answers with a shaky voice before she hangs up on me. I throw my cell against the wall, watching it shatter into a million tiny pieces, and hating every inch of myself.

AUBREY

The last few days I’ve thrown myself into my work. With Lanie gone I find myself working and sleeping with not much else in between.

I have nothing else here in the city. Not even my long-distance rocker any more. I should’ve listened to my head instead of following my dumbass heart and falling in love with a man I knew was trouble right from the start.

The phone on my desk rings and I glance down to see Isaac’s name. “Yes, sir?”

“Do you have lunch plans?” he asks.

“No. Why?”

“I want to take you to lunch. We’ll leave at noon. I have a few things to discuss with you.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll be ready.” It’s not uncommon for us to eat lunch together to work on a project that needs out right away, but it is kind of odd that he wants to take me out.

Nearly the second we hang up my cell in the desk drawer rings. I really need to remember to start silencing this stupid thing while I’m at work. “Hello?”

“Hey, girl!” Lanie says. “How are you?”

I sigh. “I’ve been better, but you sound downright chipper.”

“Aw, Sweetie. What’s wrong?” she asks concern thick in her voice.

“Riff’s done with me.” A tear falls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away so my coworkers don’t see it. It’s harder than I thought to admit that out loud.

“What? I’ve seen the way he is with you. I find it hard to believe he can move on so quickly.”

I sniff. “He told me he brought two girls home last night so he can move on.”

She lets a heavy breath waft into the phone. “Why would he do that?”

“Because I told him I loved him and he wasn’t ready to be that serious with me.”

“So he goes and fucks two random groupies?” Lanie shrieks. “I don’t believe it.”

“Believe it. He told me so himself.” I pause and take a deep breath. “We’re over.”

Lanie sighs. “That’s too bad, because you two still have to walk down the aisle together in my wedding.”

My eyes widen. “You and Noel are getting married?”

She giggles. “We are, and sooner rather than later. I’m flying you down this weekend for a dress fitting.”

“Wow. In four days? That’s soon. So when is this wedding?”

“In the weekend after this one.”

“What’s the rush?”

“No rush. We want to do this. It’s the right thing for us, you know.”

I smile, completely happy that my best friend is finally marrying the man she’s loved for so long. “Where’s the wedding going to be?”

“Here at Mom’s house—out on the dock.”

“Awww. That’s so romantic. It’s almost like bringing your love full circle.”

“It totally is,” she answers and I can hear the smile in her voice.

We talk a little while longer about wedding plans and my flight arrangements for the weekend before Isaac pops out of his office. I glance down at the clock. It’s time for lunch already.

“I have to go. I’ll see you Friday night,” I say into the phone.

“See you soon. And Aubrey, don’t worry about Riff. He’ll come around.”

“Okay,” is all I can say because while I understand love is a new thing for him and something that probably scares the shit out of him, I don’t think I can forget that he slept with other women so soon after being with me. The best thing to do is forget about him like he has me.

I grab my purse and follow Isaac into the elevator.

He presses the lobby button and glances at my face. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” I answer with a smile.

Isaac steps toward me and tentatively touches my cheek. “Is it him that you’re shedding tears for? If it is, you shouldn’t. He doesn’t deserve you.”

Even though I know it’s wrong, I lean into his palm and close my eyes. It’s nice to have comfort from someone.

He cradles my head in his hands. “I would never wrong you. Ever.”

I open my eyes and stare into his clear blue eyes. There’s sympathy and caring in them, which is something in my current state I desperately want. I grab the back of his head and bring his lips down to mine trying to block out the pain Zach left in his wake.

Isaac freezes at first and then starts moving his lips with mine while we ride the elevator down. He gives me one final peck and then pulls back. “I’ve been waiting on that for a long time. You’ll be happy with me, Aubrey. I swear it.”

I smile. I don’t exactly feel the same way, but maybe eventually I will.

The plane touches down in Houston and I quickly make my way through the airport looking for Lanie in baggage claim as we planned. I stop dead in my tracks when my gaze lands on Zach holding a small sign that reads “Kitten.”

I roll my eyes and grab my bag off the carousel before I approach him. “What are you doing here?”

He smiles. “No hello? You mean, you aren’t happy to see me?”

I shake my head. “Are you really that dense? Where’s Lanie?”

He shrugs his broad shoulders. “She was busy.”

“Of course she was,” I mumble. Lanie always wants to fix things or play matchmaker, which is the exact reason I didn’t tell her about my very first kiss with Zach in the first place.

He grabs the suitcase out of my hand. “Let me carry that.”

I jerk it away. “I’ve got it. I don’t need your help.”

Zach narrows his eyes and takes the bag out of my hand with force. “Can’t we be friends at least?”

I yank back, refusing to let go. “No we can’t. There’s no such thing as just friends between us Zach and I refuse to be another slut you can toss away after you’re done.”

He opens his mouth to say something but quickly shuts it and shakes his head. “You’re right. Maybe it’s best we not even talk.”

I stumble back a bit after he releases the handle of my luggage and gives me full control. “Fine by me.”

He turns and calls over his shoulder, “Come on, then. Our new bodyguard, Kyle, is waiting in the loading area.”

Without any more words I follow him outside to the black Escalade. He loads my bag into the back and I hop into the back seat and slide over, leaving the door open. Zach comes by and shuts my door with a little more force than necessary before taking the passenger seat next to Kyle.

I bite my lip. Now, I’m the one who is getting the cold shoulder? I didn’t do a damn thing to him. What gives him the right to treat me this way?

The entire trip to Lanie’s family home, Zach and Kyle talk amongst themselves up front, completely ignoring me, which is exactly what I asked for. So why do I feel this crushing weight sitting on my chest?

This is going to be a long weekend if this is how it’s going to be.

Lanie scrambles out the door the moment we pull in and jumps into the SUV. Her slender arms wrap me into a hug as she tackles me into the seat. “Easy, there!”

She pulls away and flicks her gaze towards Zach. “Why are you back here by yourself?”

I frown. “I think it’s better this way.”

Zach snorts and gets out, slamming the door behind him.

She shoves my hair over my shoulders and shakes her head. “You two are some of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met.”

After a long day of getting fitted for my bridesmaid dress, the entire group loads up to head to a local club for some drinks. Who knew so much went into planning a fifteen minute ceremony. We need to blow off a little steam and relax.

The club is packed. Bodies gyrate on the dance floor beneath spinning lights while the hypnotic beats the most recent top forty hits assaults my ears.

Trip elbows Tyke as a group of girls walk by and smile at them. They instantly take off after the girls in short skirts as Lanie and I slide into a round booth with Noel and Zach.

A waitress in a tank top and booty shorts comes to the table to get our drink orders. She flips her blond hair over her shoulder and doesn’t try to hide the fuck-me eyes she’s shooting at Zach. We all order alcohol of some type with the exception of Lanie who orders a water.

I furrow my brow at her the moment the waitress leaves. “You okay?”

She nods and smiles. “Never better.”

I eye her suspiciously as I turn my attention back over to the twins out on the dance floor with a few women. She never turns down a drink, especially at a bar. As my thoughts wonder to the possibility that she may be pregnant, Trip makes me giggle as he lifts a girls skirt and smacks her ass in front of every person in the club. “He’s crazy.”

Noel grins. “He’s loving all the attention since Riff and I are off the market.”

I glance over to Riff, curious why Noel would say that? Isn’t he back to banging every chick in sight?

Riff catches my stare and quickly leans forward, making a show of grabbing the girl standing next to him wearing a tube top and tugging her into his lap. “Speak for yourself, buddy. I’m a free man. You’re the one about to be strapped to the old ball and chain.”

My lips pull into a tight line and I fight back tears as Zach makes a show of whispering into the girl’s ear. I understand he wants to move on, but he doesn’t have to shove it down my throat. If that’s how it’s going to be, I’ll play dirty right back. I’m tired of assholes walking all over me. I want to show him I can move on, too.

I flip my hair and turn towards Lanie and say loud enough for everyone to head, “I forgot to tell you I’m seeing someone and he’s going to be my date at your wedding.”

Her green eyes widen and her lips form the letter ‘O.’ “Who?”

“Yeah, who?” Zach adds in from the other side of me, but I can’t see his face.

I lean back so I can catch his reaction this time. “Isaac. You remember him...Riff. You met him at the pizza place.”

I know calling him by his stage name got his attention as well as the shocking news that I’m dating one man I know he loathes because his eyebrows instantly shoot up. “Your douchebag boss?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Don’t call him that. He’s sweet.”

“How many times have you been out with him?” I fight the urge to tell him everyday since the day we ended things to piss him off. In reality it’s only been a three times, but I’m not going to tell him that.

I glare at him. “That’s none of your business.”

“The hell it’s not!”

I shake my head. “I think it’s pretty clear that we’re even less than friends now, so I don’t have to tell you a damn thing. Lanie, let’s dance. Excuse us, Noel.”

Noel howls with laughter as he slides around and lets us out. “I’m really starting to like this girl. She’s not afraid to dish it right back to him,” he tells Lanie before he kisses her lips.

Lanie melts into him, and before she changes her mind about dancing, I pull her into crowd. Amongst the writhing bodies, we shake our hips to the beat of the music. I try to push the thoughts of Riff with other women out of my mind and try to focus on the beat of the music.

“If you’re trying to push his buttons and make him jealous, I think it’s working,” Lanie says after she glances at the table where Noel and Zach are.

I shrug. “That wasn’t my plan when I came here, but if he’s going to shove the fact that he’s out with other women in my face then I’m going to dish it right back at him.”

She nods. “Good plan. He’s been miserable, you know. I think this show is for your benefit. Trip told me that Riff’s been holed up in his room depressed since he came back from New York. I don’t think he’s been with other women.”

“He has. He told me so.” I shake my head. “I don’t know why he’s trying to punish me?”

Lanie grabs my arms. “I don’t think he knows what the hell he’s doing. He’s fighting his feelings for you tooth and nail for some reason. I know he still cares about you. Noel says he’s never acted this way with any other woman. You’ve done something that’s grabbed his attention.”

I run my hand through my hair, frustrated at the entire situation. If he cares for me why run away? Why sleep with other women? It exhausts me even trying to figure it out. I glance back at the table and the girl is gone, but Zach watches me intently as he presses his bottle to his lips and throws back the last of his beer. His hungry eyes rake over me, but I refuse to let me use me for sex. I’m done with those kinds of random relationships. I’m ready for something real.

Chapter 21

RIFF

The rest of the weekend passes by quickly. Aubrey and I never really talked. I didn’t help the situation out much when I flirted with every single girl I could in front of her. It’s a childish game to play, but I want her to be okay with moving on even if it kills me inside. I need her to hate me.

“I like this one.” Noel points to the plain black tux on the mannequin.

The middle-aged saleswoman nods and the black bun on the back of her head bounces. “Excellent choice, Mr. Falcon. It’s very traditional.”

“I like it, too,” Lanie agrees.

“Okay, then. Mr. Falcon let’s do you first. Follow me back to the dressing area so we can get you sized up. Riff, honey, you’ll be next.”

I smile as they leave the room, leaving Lanie and me alone in the front of the store. I finger a few shirts and try to pretend I don’t feel a hole boring into me from her heated stare. I know she’s pissed about how I treated her friend this weekend. I offered to go with her to the airport this morning, but both Aubrey and Lanie told me no in unison.

“You’re an idiot, you know,” she says to me.

I know exactly what she’s referring to, but pretend I’m clueless. “Why’s that?”

She walks over and stands next to me, trying to gain my full attention. “Because you’re going to drive her right into that guys arms. If you aren’t careful, you really are going to lose her.”

I peer down at her. “What makes you think I want her?”

She laughs. “Come on. We all know it. It’s you that can’t admit your own feelings about her.”

I sigh and go back to looking at shirts. “You’re her best friend. Aren’t you supposed to protect her from assholes like me?”

She shakes her head. “Not when the asshole is in love with her.”

“I don’t want to hurt her,” I whisper.

Lanie places her small hand on top of mine that’s resting on the rack. “Then stop what you’re doing, because I know she loves you, too. If you keep fighting it, both of you are going to end up miserable and hating each other.”

I swallow hard. It’s not my intention to ever hurt her but that’s exactly what I’m doing by trying to push her away. It kills me to know I’m hurting her.

Noel comes out wearing the tux he picked out and runs his hand through his thick, dark hair. “What do you think?

Lanie squeals the moment she sees him and rushes into his arms. “You look hot, baby.”

I turn away as their make-out session commences.

My thoughts drift to my time with Kitten and how happy I felt when I was with her. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and Lanie’s right. I’m an idiot for throwing it away. I need to make this right with her. I still want her, but I’m afraid she’ll tell me to take a flying leap because I lied to her about already sleeping with other people. I don’t care if she’s slept with that fucking Ken doll of a boss of hers. It doesn’t matter. If she did, I know she probably only did it because of the lie I told her.

AUBREY

I can’t believe this is the weekend my best friend gets married. It feels surreal to me. I can only imagine what it’s like for her to finally marry the man she’s loved for so long.

The minute my plane lands I turn on my cell phone and a text from Isaac pops up on the screen.

Isaac: My flight lands tomorrow at ten in the morning. Thank you for asking me to be your date to the wedding.

I smile. He’s so well mannered and the complete opposite of Zach.

I lay my head back against the seat. After last weekend, I don’t look forward to seeing him again. It’s hard enough knowing we have to walk down the aisle without killing each other at the wedding. Why did Noel have to pick him as the best man?

Aubrey: See you then.

Coming down the escalator to baggage claim, I immediately spot Zach standing with his little sign waiting for me again.

Great. This is going to be another fun weekend.

Why am I not surprised to see him? I’m beginning to think he’s getting some sick thrill by torturing me. And why would Lanie allow it? I know she’s busy, but couldn’t she send one of the twins instead?

Zack tugs his ball cap low on his forehead and a places a pair of dark sunglasses over the bill. I hate the fact that even though I’m pissed at him for hurting me, I still think he looks good in his jeans and form-fitting black t-shirt.

Zach grabs my bag from my hand and says, “It’s good to see you.”

I stare at him with narrowed eyes. “Don’t!” I snap at him. “After last weekend I’m over you.”

A pained look overtakes his face as I turn on my heel to head for the exit.

I only make it one step before he grabs my wrist and stops me in my tracks. “Look, I was a jackass last weekend. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. I’m sorry.”

His eyes seem sincere, but his apology doesn’t make me feel any better or make me forget what he’s done. “I will accept your apology so we can get through this weekend, but it still doesn’t change anything between us. You sleep with other women and shove it in my face to hurt me on purpose.”

He takes his sunglasses off and rests them over top of his hat and leans into my face. “So, what if I have? You’re fucking your boss! Don’t you think that hurts me?”

I try to yank my arm free, because all I want to do is smack his face. The harder I yank the tighter his grip gets. “Let go of me!”

Zach shakes his head. “What is this? You get to hate me all you want, but when I mention you’re doing the exact same thing you get pissed!”

“It’s not the same thing,” I huff, knowing that simple kisses are as far as I’ve been with Isaac.

He pulls me into him and forces me to look him in the eye. “Are you fucking him?”

I want to hurt him, like he hurt me so I refuse to give him a straight answer. “That’s none of your business.”

“It is my business! Now tell me!” One last jerk and my arm’s free. I rub my wrist as I stay silent and gaze up at his face. His eyes never leave mine. It’s almost as if he’s studying me while his jaw works under his skin, trying to get the truth out of me. “Are you sleeping with him?”

I fold my arms. There’s no way I’m going to make this easy on him. “You left me, remember! Why aren’t you happy about this? It’s what you wanted.”

He drops my bag and grabs me by the shoulders. “Because you’re mine! Can’t you see that? I still want you and I know you want me too.”

I gasp and my mouth drops open. Why would he say this to me now? Is it because I’m dating Isaac and he can’t have me now? Well, too bad. I’m not going to let him play around with my heart anymore. “You told me to move on, so that’s what I did. Get over it!”

He shakes his head. “I don’t believe you! You still want me. I can see it in your eyes. People don’t just walk away from a connection like the one we have. I’m going to make you admit that to yourself by the end of this weekend.”

Before I have a chance to reply, he crushes his lips to mine. I melt into him, forgetting what we were even fighting about to begin with as I focus on is him. Both legs beneath me wobble and I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close.

Damn my stupid body for reacting to him like this.

He pulls back and smirks. “See. Don’t forget I know what turns you on and how you like it a little rough. You’re going to want me to do more than kiss you. I promise you that.”

My lips tingle as he bends down and picks up the bag and starts toward the exit. What the hell just happened here? I’m never going to figure this man out.

Sitting at the Mexican restaurant next to Zach reminds me of the first night we spent together when I met up with them in Dallas. The waiter drops off some chips and salsa at the table while a Spanish song plays overhead.

I shake my head as I my mind drifts back to how I felt him up that first night we were together. It was at the table just like this while I sat across from my best friend in nearly the same circumstance.

My cell buzzes and I look at the screen.

Riff: Feel like being naughty again during dinner?

My head whips in his direction and Zach grins and winks at me. Damn it. How did you know exactly what I was thinking? Well, I got news for him—fat chance of that happening again.

Aubrey: You’re an asshole.

He chuckles as he reads my text.

Riff: Maybe so, but I’m one that you still have feelings for.

I shake my head.

Riff: Yes you do. You know you miss me being inside you. Admit it so we can stop playing these stupid games and be together.

I squirm in my seat as I read his words. He knows talking dirty to me gets to me. He’s seen how I react to it when we had sex, but I can’t let it affect me now. I refuse to let him have any sort of power over me.

I huff and toss my phone back into my purse unwilling to play along with his game. My heart is not a plaything. I don’t want it crushed yet again by him when he decides he doesn’t want it anymore. I’m tired of being treated like that. I want a man that really wants me and means it. I’m not settling for anything less than that anymore.

Chapter 22

AUBREY

I bite my thumbnail as I wait for Isaac to get off the plane. Images of how awkward this weekend is going to be with Riff and Isaac in the same room flip through my head. I hope Riff keeps his cool and doesn’t do something crazy like I know he’s capable of when he gets angry. Poor Isaac wouldn’t stand a chance against his rage.

Isaac comes into view carrying a small, black bag and a suit bag in the same hand. He’s dressed casually in khakis and a blue polo shirt with his hair styled in its traditional fashion. He pushes his black-framed glasses up his nose and gives me a small wave.

He wraps his free arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. “I’ve missed you.”

I squeeze him back and pat his back. “It’s good to see you. Did you have a good flight?”

“It was fine,” he answers as I take him by the hand and lead him towards the exit.

Things between us still feel forced and unnatural. It takes a lot of work to keep a conversation rolling between us, but I’m not ready to give up on making this relationship work.

We walk to the short term parking section of the lot and he follows me to Lanie’s car.

“A rental?” he questions.

I unlock the doors. “It’s Lanie’s. She let me borrow it to come pick you up.”

“Ah,” is all he replies.

We ride in silence on the highway. Like I said, conversation doesn’t come easy between us, which is odd because we work together. There should be a million things to talk about between us.

Tired of the silence, I crank up the radio. The beat of a pop tune plays through the speakers filling the cab with a little noise as we drive to Lanie’s house.

“What exactly are the plans for the night?” Isaac asks as he turns the radio back down.

“We’re decorating the dock and tent for the wedding tomorrow. Then we have a rehearsal dinner at some Italian place.”

He nods. “It’s odd to have a wedding on a Sunday, don’t you think?”

I shrug. “Not really. What’s it matter what day they get married on?”

“It doesn’t, I guess. I would think that most people would stick with a traditional Saturday wedding.”

I twist my lips as I evaluate his tone that seems a little snippy and judgmental. “Lanie and Noel are anything but traditional, so why should their wedding be?”

“Touche,” he replies.

Every inch of the driveway is full of delivery people when I pull in, forcing me into the side yard. Through the windshield I watch Zach direct a man with a bunch of flowers down towards the dock where the actual ceremony will take place. He glances over at the car and catches me staring at him and grins. It’s not just any grin either. It’s the one where he practically devours me with his eyes and makes things a little uncomfortable considering I’m dating another man.

I open the door and hop out of the car. He’s not going to give up even though Isaac is here. He really does have some nerve.

Isaac steps out of the car and opens the back door to retrieve his things. “It’s beautiful out here. Where did you say we are again?”

“Cedar Creek Lake. Lanie grew up here. Noel’s family actually lives right next door, so we are all staying here for the night.”

He rests his hands on the top of the car and stares at me. “Are you sure everyone’s okay with me staying here?” His eyes flick in Zach’s direction. “No one’s pissed are they?”

I shake my head, knowing full well that Zach doesn’t like him being here, but Isaac doesn’t need to know that. “You’re fine.”

On our way into the house, Zach steps directly in our path. “What’s up lovebirds? Did you have a good flight, Ken—” I cut him with a stare and he quickly corrects himself. “Isaac.”

I roll my eyes and try to sidestep him. “Don’t pay any attention to him,” I tell Isaac as I grab his arm.

“Oh, come on. Don’t be that way. I’m trying to be nice,” Zach says as he moves out of my way.

“You’re an asshole,” I call over my shoulder as I lead Isaac into the house.

Once we’re out of earshot, Isaac says, “Are you sure it’s over between the two of you?”

I shake my head. “So over. He’s the biggest manwhore in the band. I can never be with someone like him long term.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his side. “Good because I don’t want to get my heart crushed if you haven’t truly moved on.”

I tense at his words. That’s a feeling I know all too well and I hate the idea of having someone’s heart teetering in my own hands. I don’t want to hurt him.

The Italian restaurant Lanie picked for her rehearsal dinner is loud with the hustle and bustle of the busy wait staff working their way around keeping dinner guests happy. The white table linens and candles add an elegant touch to the room. Noel rented out the entire restaurant so the band could celebrate in private.

Trip sulks in his chair, bummed by the prospect of not having any random chicks around until Noel’s older cousin in her forties starts giving him the old fuck-eye.

“Dude, she so wants me. I’m going to Cougar land tonight,” Trip tells Zach who is sitting between us. “That chick wants my nuts. Look at how she licks her lips when I look over.”

Riff and I both glance over at the next table and watch the busty, bleach-blond do exactly what Trip said the moment he looks over. Zach and I both laugh at the same time.

“Did you see that!” Trip exclaims. “I’m hitting that tonight!”

“Have fun with that, bro,” Zach says.

“Maybe she has a daughter or something and we can get them to take us back to their place,” Trip says.

Zach shakes his head. “Better rope Tyke into your plans, because I don’t get down like that anymore.” His gaze shifts to me. “I’ve got something much better in mind.”

I swallow hard and try to calm my nerves under his heated stare.

“I don’t think I was supposed to bring this present to the rehearsal dinner,” Isaac says breaking my attention away from Zach’s intense stare. Isaac stuffs the box he carried in with him between his feet.

“I’m being nosey, but what did you get them?” I ask.

“A crystal vase. I know it’s not much and they probably don’t need anything, but I figured it’s the thought, right?”

I lean over and kiss his lips, trying to ignore the fact that Zach’s right beside me. “It’s very sweet.”

“Rolls,” Riff says while practically shoving the breadbasket in my face.

I shove it away with my hand. “I’m fine. Thanks.”

He sits the basket back on the table. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss out since you seemed pretty busy and all.”

I fight the overwhelming urge to reach over and smack him in the face and then scream, “What do you want from me?”

When I can’t take looking at Zach a second longer, I slide my chair back and stand without warning.

Isaac peers up at me concerned. “You all right?”

“I’m fine. Just need to use the ladies’ room.”

I storm off in the direction of the restroom and shove the door open. I throw my purse down on the counter and lean against it as I fight back the crazy, mixed-up emotions I feel inside. One minute he likes me...the next he doesn’t. His psycho mood swings are giving me whiplash.

I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering what happened to the levelheaded girl I was a short time ago. Feeling this way is the very thing I wanted to protect myself from, and yet here I stand, miserable that the man I really want didn’t want me back. When I offered him my heart, he crushed it in the palm of his hand like it meant nothing to him. I refuse to let him do it to me again.

I sigh. Why couldn’t he tell me he loved me back when I told him in the bar? Why now when I’m trying to move on and give Isaac a chance. He’s making me feel like the villain in this situation.

The lock on the door clicks behind me and I see Zach step into view through the mirror. “What are you doing in here? You aren’t done torturing me yet?”

He shoves his hands into his jean pockets and nods. “I deserve that. I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting. It’s childish and I really don’t have a good excuse other than seeing you with him is driving me bat shit crazy.”

I turn to face him. “How do you think I felt when you said you were with those two women and then pulled the girl into your lap at the bar? Do you think this is easy for me? I’m trying to move on like you told me to do, but I can’t with you always making things so difficult for me!”

He takes a couple steps and wraps his fingers around my upper arms. “I’m sorry, all right. I’d take it all back if I could. I don’t mean to hurt you, Kitten. I fucking love you and I don’t know how to handle it.”

Shock registers on his face as he realizes what he’s said to me. He rubs his face and takes a deep breath before looking me square in the eye. “I love you.”

“You love me?” I whisper. “Why did you wait until now to tell me?”

He bites his lower lip. “I thought I was doing you a favor by pushing you away. As much as I hate to admit it, a guy like Isaac would be a much better choice than a piece of shit like me. I wish I could give you every part of me, but I’m so fucking broken that I’m not sure where to start.”

I place my hand over his heart. “Start by giving me this. All I ever ask is that you love me back just as much as I love you.”

“What if I can’t? I don’t know how to love someone.”

Tears fill my eyes and when I blink the warm, salty liquid flows down my cheeks. “You can. You already have. You love your mom and Hailey. I see it every time you talk about them, what they meant to you. I want you to let me in. I love being with you. I love the way you make me feel. I do want to be with you, but I’m afraid you’ll crush my heart.”

“I swear I’ll never hurt you again. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving how much I love you if you let me.” He cups my cheeks in his hands. “I love you, Aubrey. I think I have from the moment you first turned me down.”

I smile at him and wrap my arms around him. It’s crazy and us together makes absolutely zero sense, but I can’t fight the feelings I have for him. “I love you, too.”

I close my eyes and focus on how good he makes me feel. It would absolutely crush me at this point if this doesn’t work out again, but I can’t worry about that, because right now I know he’s being sincere.

He kisses me like he’s never kissed me before. It’s like he needs me to breath. He grabs my hips and hoists me up on the counter. “Thank god you picked a dress to wear tonight. This would be a lot harder in if not.”

He reaches up my skirt and yanks my underwear down before sliding them the rest of the way off my body. There’s no time wasted as he circles my clit with the tip of his finger in a forceful rhythm. I bite my lip and throw my head back as I moan from the sheer pleasure of his touch. I’ve missed being with him so much.

Within a minute my eyes roll back and my entire body shakes as I come hard against his hand.

I gasp as I come down from the high. All the time we’ve spent learning each other’s bodies comes in handy during a quickie like this.

Zach unzips his pants and shoves them along with his boxers down to his thighs before he grabs the base of his shaft and guides it into me. A long moans flies from his mouth as it pushes his cock all the way in.

“Oh, god,” I cry as softly as I can while he plunges into me.

We hold each other’s gaze and I chew on my bottom lip. Zach leans over and nips my ear, grazing his teeth along my skin. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I breathe.

He grips my hips harder as he drives into me desperate to find his release. Small beads of sweat form on his brow as he works his way deeper inside me. I can’t peel my eyes away from his face as he rocks into me again and again in a steady rhythm.

Long strands of my ponytail come loose and cascade around my shoulders. I can only imagine what a mess my hair must be after this.

He wraps his arms around me and I arch my back against his hands. To make him come faster I clench my muscles around his cock and hold them as tight as I can.

“Fuck, Kitten.”

Both of his hands find their way into my hair after he pulls the elastic band from it, allowing it to fall around my shoulders. I wrap my fingers around the edge of the counter and brace myself as he picks up speed.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he says against my lips. “Shit.”

His entire body tenses under my touch. I squeeze my legs around him as he lets out a string of curses as he releases inside me, groaning so loud I’m sure the entire wedding party heard us.

He kisses my face all over. “You’re fucking amazing, Aubrey. Every time keeps getting better. I promise I’ll love you until the day I die.”

I kiss his lips and rest my forehead against his. “What am I going to do about Isaac?”

He rubs my back. “Tell him you’re with me and he needs to go home.”

I shake my head. “I can’t be rude to him. He’s my boss I still have to deal with him.”

He kisses my neck. “Fuck that job. I want you to stay with me all the time anyway.”

“I didn’t work hard for my degree to flush my first job opportunity down the damn toilet. Can we play it cool for this weekend and I’ll let him down gently Monday.”

He sighs. “We can do that, but if I see his lips touch you, I’ll rip them off his face.”

“You’re impossible,” I say.

After a few last kisses I slip on my panties and try to fix my disheveled hair. We leave the bathroom together while still adjusting our clothes and I freeze in my tracks. Isaac waits down the hall from the bathroom with the gift he had at the table in his hands, waiting for us to come out. The moment our eyes connect, he starts shaking his head and turns on his heel.

Instantly, I feel like total shit because I know what it’s like to want someone who doesn’t fully want you back. I always swore I would never be that person, yet here I am doing the exact thing I hate.

“Isaac?” I call his name as he blasts through the door to the parking lot.

He marches out towards the car, but doesn’t stop as I keep calling his name. When he reaches Lanie’s car he jerks on the locked door handle a few times before yelling, “Fuck,” loud enough for the entire state of Texas to hear him.

I touch his arm. “Will you give me a chance to explain?”

He jerks away from my touch. “Jesus. How could you do this to me? Why did you ask me to come down here if you still have a thing going with him? I ask you point blank and you told me there was nothing going on.”

Tears well in my eyes and my entire body shakes. The look on his face crushes my heart as I realize this game Riff and I played has finally caught up with me and is affecting someone else. I never meant to hurt Isaac and right now the harsh words from his beautiful lips are deserved.

I drop my head, unwilling to face him. I deserve his cruelty, so I don’t defend myself.

The wedding gift he’d bought for Noel and Lane slams into the ground at my feet, tearing open. The crystal vases inside the box shatters upon impact and shards of glass litter the parking lot.

“How long Aubrey? How long have you been sleeping Riff behind my back? Did this go on last weekend, too?”

I lift my chin and find Isaac’s usually delightful blue eyes dark and narrowed. There’s no excuse for me to be crying other then the guilt I feel as the tears glide down my cheeks. “I—I’m sss...orry.” My words are a weak stutter, but I suddenly have no control of the panic wrecking havoc on my body.

He shakes his head. “Sorry? You’re sorry. That’s the best you can do? You lead me on for nearly two weeks and all you offer is a half-assed apology.” He throws his hands out. “And that’s only because you got caught! What? Were you planning on stringing me along until he got tired of you? Because you know he will. You told me yourself he’s the biggest manwhore in the band. What makes you think you’ll be any different? That you mean anything to him?”

This is the most angry I’ve ever seen Isaac and it’s hard for me to witness the nicest man I’ve ever known lose his head right in front of my eyes. The one thing I never wanted to happen did. I’ve ruined this relationship, but I love Zach. I can’t fight my feelings for him.

“I don’t know what else I can say,” I whisper, still at a loss.

“There’s nothing you can say. People at the office were right to gossip about you and call you a fucking whore.” His words tear at my heart and I bury my face in my hands.

“That’s enough!” Zach’s voice cuts across the lot and I suck in a quick breath. “Don’t you say another goddamn word to her or so help me...”

Isaac laughs. “So help you what? She’s my date. I can say what ever the fuck I want to her, so butt out!”

“She is mine,” Zach growls as he steps between Isaac and me. “And she’s been mine long before you ever came into the fucking picture. She’s only with you because I couldn’t get my shit together. You were a distraction.”

Isaac’s eyes narrow. “Whatever. You’re probably right. She’s not worth it anyhow.”

Without warning, Zach draws back and blasts Isaac square in the nose with his fist, shattering Isaac’s glasses. Isaac grabs his face as blood pours from his nose while shock registers on his face. “Don’t you ever talk about her like that again you son-of-a-bitch.”

“Not a problem.” Isaac’s watering eyes flick to mine. “Aubrey, you’re fired. Don’t bother coming back to the office. I don’t ever want to see your face again. I’ll have your personal belongings shipped to you.”

I nod as the realization I’ve lost more than my companionship with Isaac hits me hard and tears flood down my face.

Zach watches me cry and he growls, “Shut the fuck up and leave already you fucking Ken doll want-to-be or I’ll make sure you never speak another word to her or anyone else ever again.”

Isaac shakes his head and throws his hands up in surrender, clearly not wanting to test Zach’s threat.

The tension in Zach’s drawn fists relaxes as Isaac heeds his warning and walks away. Tears keep falling as I hate myself for being an awful person, but know deep down being with Zach is the right thing to do.

“Don’t cry.” Zach pulls me into a tight hug, wrapping his strong, tattooed arms around my small waist. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

I sniff. “Me too, but if that’s the price I have to pay to be with you, I’d do it all over again.”

“I want you to know, I meant what I said earlier. I love you with every inch of my broken soul. I know it’s a mess, but I’m giving you all the pieces, hoping you can make sense of it. I love you, Kitten.” He kisses my lips and warmth surrounds my entire body and a sense of security flows through me as we stay wrapped in one another’s arms.

Chapter 23

AUBREY

I fluff out Lanie’s wedding dress as we stand in her kitchen waiting for the signal it’s time for her to walk down the aisle. Her dress is bell shaped, showing off her naturally tiny waist and slim arms. The side of the dress has black designs in the tulle and looks very befitting for a rocker wedding.

This is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen her. She’s practically glowing.

“I wish they’d hurry up. I’m starting to sweat,” Lanie complains as she fans herself with her hand to keep the newly applied makeup from melting off.

I lift an eyebrow because I think the temperature is perfectly fine. “It’s not hot in here. You’re nervous.”

She shrugs. “It could be, I guess. I’m thinking it’s because my hormones are all out of whack.”

What dumb luck. “Oh, damn. Did you start your period? That will so suck for the honeymoon.”

She shakes her head and giggles. “I won’t be having another one of those for a long time.”

My eyes widen as a grins spreads across my face. “You’re pregnant? I knew it!”

“Shhhh!” She laughs. “Yes! But no one knows except for our parents and now you.”

“Oh, my god!” I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tight. “I’m so happy for you. I’ve been having the feeling you were. No wonder you wanted to rush this wedding along.”

Lanie steps back and pats her flat stomach. “Who knew I would be the one having a shot-gun wedding.”

To say I’m stunned is an understatement, but I’m still ecstatic that everything is finally working out for them. I know she’ll be a great mother.

A throat clears behind me and I turn around.

Noel’s father and Zach walk into the kitchen together both sporting black tuxedos. Zach is dapper with his hair styled into a short all-black Mohawk to match his outfit. His eyes rake over me and linger on my chest a few seconds too long before we lock eyes.

He lets out a low whistle. “You two look amazing. Lanie, Noel is going to lose his shit when he sees you.” He leans in and gives Lanie a peck on the cheek. “I’m really happy for you guys. You’re perfect for each other.”

Lanie smiles and touches his arm. “Thank you, Riff.”

Zach steps back and wraps his arm around my shoulders, tucking me into his side.

Noel’s father takes his turn hugging Lanie and whispers into her ear. I think it’s sweet of Noel’s father to walk Lanie down the aisle since her own father had passed away last year. I know she would give anything to have him here today.

Mr. Falcon pulls back and kisses her other cheek. “You’re father would’ve loved to be here.”

A tear leaks from her eye as she quickly grabs a tissue from off the counter and blots her face. “I miss him so much.”

“I know you do, kid,” he tells her.

Emotions flood me and a lump in my throat builds but I swallow it back to keep her from turning into a complete mess five minutes before she says her vows.

Lanie smiles at Zach and me with tears still in her eyes. “I’m glad you two have finally come to your senses and stopped all this craziness and admitted you have feelings for each other. It’s good to see that you’re finally together.”

I laugh and try to lighten her mood. “You’re just happy we’re not going to make your wedding all tense.”

“That, too.”

Zach clears his throat again. “They sent us in here because they’re ready to start.”

Lanie raises her eyebrows and smiles so wide I can nearly see all of her teeth. “Let’s do this.”

“Shall we?” Zach pokes his elbow out towards me.

I tuck my arm through his and stare down at my black bridesmaid dress as I make sure everything is in order before he opens the door and leads us through. The humid evening air of the Texas summer blasts into me as we walk down the hill to the dock and I’m glad I chose an up-do for this event. The sun set in the horizon is the perfect backdrop to make the ceremony magically. Candles flicker all around, providing light while accentuating romance. The sound of Noel’s voice signing a pre-recorded acoustic version Faithfully covers the landscape as it plays through the surrounding speakers.

Nearly one hundred wedding guests line the flower covered path at the bottom of the hill. The dock was too narrow for all the guests to sit on, so the wedding planner set up most of the white folding chairs on the grass just before the entrance to the dock.

Trip and Tyke grin at me from the dock entrance, manning their positions as ushers to make sure we don’t trip and bust our faces walking over the threshold. Tyke’s blond hair is styled back off his face while Trips shaggy, black hair falls into his, making his green eyes really stand out. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen Trip without something covering the top of his head. If I didn’t know better, I would think there’s a real gentleman inside that tux.

White and red roses line every inch of the wood railing all the way to the end of the dock. A small landing sits at the end, allowing enough chairs for Lanie’s and Noel’s immediate family an intimate seat at the union. A beautiful floral archway filled with more roses creates a backdrop for the ceremony with Noel in his traditional black tux standing underneath it. The pastor stands next to Noel with a Bible in his hand ready to officiate the ceremony.

Zach places his free hand on top of my hand that’s looped through his arm while we walk slowly down the dock. “I can’t wait to do this with you someday.”

I swallow hard and my eyes grow wide. Something so romantic coming from him takes me back.

Zach chuckles as he takes in my shocked expression. “I mean, way in the future, of course.”

A light breeze scoots across the lake and blows my dress around my feet as I peer up at him and smile.

The thought of being with him forever causes my heart to pause for a split second. While we’re nowhere near being ready to make such a huge leap together, it’s nice to know he’s taking our relationship seriously this round.

At the end of the dock, we part ways, and Zach claps Noel on the shoulder as he stands next to him.

I settle into my spot, and the wedding march begins to play. Everyone stands and turns around, directing their line of sight to the top of the hill.

Lanie makes her way down the path in her breathtaking gown, clutching Mr. Falcon’s arm tight. The wedding guests all gasp and let out a collective “aww,” as she comes further into sight. Her mom sits a couple feet away from me in a wheelchair with her injured leg in a cast straining her neck to get a better look. She blots her eyes and lets out a quiet sob as she takes in how beautiful her little girl looks.

Noel’s face lights up as he refolds his hands in front of him while he anxiously waits for Lanie to join him by his side. I smile, knowing he’s perfect for her.

Riff catches my eye and mouths, “I love you,” to me.

The caring part of him is what pulled me in. I knew it was in there, and it’s my job as the woman in his life to help him explore it. I grin at the thought of how special those tender words are coming from him before mouthing it back.

When Lanie makes it to the end of the aisle, Mr. Falcon gently unfolds her hand from around his forearm and guides her hand into the crook of Noel’s arm.

Noel’s gaze never leaves Lanie’s face. It’s in that moment I truly see how much love he has for her. While their relationship has had a rocky path to get to this happy point, kind of like Zach and me. Things for them will work out because they love each other, and as they say, love conquers all.

Lanie hands me her bouquet and joins hands with Noel.

“Dearly beloved. We are gathered here together in the presence of family, friends and loved ones to unite Noel Falcon and Lanie Vance in holy matrimony...”The pastor proceeds with the ceremony while my best friend stares into the eyes of the man she loves.

A tear wells up in my eye and before I know it, I’m batting them away like crazy. I’m happy for her, but it also saddens me to know that our friendship will now change. We’re growing up and she and Noel are starting a family of their own.

Noel grins as he answers, “I do.”

The same vows are directed to Lanie and she half laughs while crying as she answers, “I do.”

The pastor points his gaze at Zach. “The rings?”

Zach fishes them from the inside pocket of his tux and places them in the pastor’s outstretched hand.

The rings are held up for the crowd to see as he says, “The rings you chose are made of one of the strongest, and most precious minerals our earth has to offer. These rings will withstand the test of time and symbolize the love you two have for one another. Noel will you take this ring and place it on Lanie’s left hand and repeat after me.”

Noel slips the ring on Lanie’s dainty ring finger and says, “With this ring, I thee wed all my hearts affection, all that I am, all that I ever shall be, and everything that’s apart of me, I give to you now, my wife.”

Lanie and I both sniffle along with most of the crowd as Noel gets a little choked up at the end as his emotions flood him.

“Lanie, repeat after me...” the pastor has her repeat the same vows as she places a silver band on Noel’s left hand. Her fingers shake a bit as she shoves it the rest of the way on his finger.

“Now, I want you two to look deep into each other’s eyes and think back to that moment when you knew this person was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with...” At those words spoken by the pastor, I stare at Zach who is watching me intently.

It’s hard for me to pinpoint the exact moment I knew he was the one, because I felt a connection with him almost immediately. When I saw all the layers under his macho exterior that’s when he really started tugging at my heart. His love is intense and passionate, and I’m ready to receive every bit of it that he’s willing to offer me.

“You have stepped into a deeper commitment today, and I charge you to keep true to the vows you’ve made to one another today. Noel, your bride commits herself into your hands for safekeeping, placing herself into your protection for the remainder of her life. So from this day forward let no word or deed of action cloud her with tears. If there are tears, may they only be of joy.”

Noel smiles down at Lanie and wipes his eye as the pastor recites a similar speech to her. “Lanie, you have won this man’s heart with your grace, beauty and intelligence. May you comfort him in times of need and remain true. And to the both of you...always remember you’re holding your very best friend by the hand right now. Always be quick to forgive one another and cherish the love you have for one another. If you both agree to all of these things, please say I do.” Lanie and Noel both answer at the same time before he continues, “By the power vested in me by the great state of Texas, I now pronounce you man and wife. Noel, you may kiss your bride.”

Cheers erupt all around as Noel leans in and lifts Lanie’s veil before wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her lips.

Noel pulls back and gives her one last peck before she smiles at him and then turns to me for her flowers.

They face the crowd and the pastor says, “May I present to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Noel Falcon.”

Another round of applause and hoots explode at the end of the dock as I watch my best friend walk down the aisle to become one with the love of her life.

Zach approaches me and I hook my arm through his. His grin as we follow Noel and Lanie down the aisle is as big a mine. It’s funny how our conceptions about a person can be totally off base. Never in a million years did I think a crude proposition from a rock star would lead me to love. He completely, and unexpectedly, stole my heart, and I was powerless to stop it.

I broke the last rule I put into place for our one-night stand, not to fall in love. It completely flew out the window the moment he opened up to me and showed me a side of him I never expected, but that’s okay. Life sometimes works out in ways that’s not expected.

The one thing I really thought I wanted was my job, but when forced to pick between my heart and my career, it was no contest. Nothing matters but being with Zach and I know somehow, some way, things will work out as long as we believe in on another and our love. Zach is my forever.

RIFF

I have to hand it to Noel. This reception by the lake is stunning. The white tent under the stars is perfect for their union. The stiffly dressed wait staff scurries about handing out drinks and appetizers while the live band keeps the party jumping.

I’m not one that gets caught up in wedding sappiness usually, but knowing what Noel and Lanie have been through to make it to this moment gets to me. It reminds me that no real love comes easy and I’m going to have to work at this everyday with Aubrey to make this love last forever.

I spin Kitten in my arms as we press close together during a slow dance. “Having fun?”

She grins up and me and trails her fingers at the nape of my neck. “A great time. I’m glad I’m here with you.”

I squeeze her tighter against my chest. “There’s no one else I’d rather be with.”

She raises her eyebrow. “Not even the two women you were with after me.”

I sigh. It’s time to come clean with that lie. “I was never with anyone else.”

There’s a puzzled look on her face. “You weren’t? So, you lied to me?”

I nod as we continue dancing. “I was trying to get you to see I was no good. I said it to make you angry with me, so you’d move on before I got the chance to hurt you.”

She bites her bottom lip. “I never slept with Isaac, either. I only wanted you to think that because I was hurt.” She pauses for a moment. “I understand where all that angst is coming from. What happened to your family was a terrible tragedy, but you can’t let that rule your life. You deserve to be happy.”

“I’m trying to get there. When I found you, I found my heart, Kitten. You’re the one putting me back together. You make me feel alive. You’re helping me find my soul again, which is something I thought died years ago. It’s because of you I want to be a better man. I want to be there for you. I won’t ever be able to give you a family, because the accident left me sterile, but I’ll be there to love you forever if you let me.”

She strokes my cheek with her fingers. “I want to be with you, Zach. It’s you I love, not what you can or can’t give me. I just want you.”

“I love you,” I tell her before I kiss her lips and we start down the path to our forever. The instant the words leave my mouth something comes over me and I feel a mad rush to not only tell her, but the rest of the world, that I’ll do anything to keep her in my life. I pull away from her and hold up a finger. “Wait right here.”

The small platform the wedding band plays on is a far cry from the stages I’m used to, but I can’t think of a more appropriate place to express to Aubrey what she means to me. I gave Noel so much shit for doing this when Lanie came back to him, but I totally get it now. When you love someone, really love someone, you’ll do anything to show them how much they mean to you. I want Aubrey to know my words aren’t promises that I have no intention on keeping. I want her for the long haul.

I motion the tall, scarecrow looking lead singer with slicked-back black hair to the side of the stage. He bends down to me. “Hey, man. I hate to steal your show, but I need to sing something.”

The man shrugs. “Sure. Do you want us to back you?”

It’s been a long time since I fronted a band. The last time was before Noel joined Trip, Tyke and I. Adding the touch of the band may be perfect to bring the song together versus me alone with a guitar. I take a quick glance at Aubrey waiting on me in the middle of the dance floor under the soft lighting hanging in the tent and a song I secretly have on my iPod playlist that reminds me of how I feel about her pops in my head. “Sure. Do you know I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz?”

He nods. “We do. We play that a lot at weddings. Hop on up.”

Once I’m up on the stage, the front man hands me the mic before turning to fill in the band. I stare out into the crowd and even though there’s a ton of people surrounding me, Aubrey is the only person I see.

I pull the mic up to my lips. “This song goes out to a very special lady who needs to know how I feel about her.” I give the guitarist a quick nod and he plucks out the signature chords to intro the song acoustically.

When it’s time for me to sing, I lock eyes with Aubrey because I want her to know that what I feel for her is real and I don’t care who knows I’m totally whipped. The words are perfect as I tell her in song that I won’t give up no matter what and I finally know what it’s like to be loved and I’m never going to walk away from that.

It’s everything I’ve been missing in my life, and she’s given it back to me.

Aubrey wipes tears from her eyes and I step off the platform—the sea of people part before me, clearing my path to her.

I take her hand in mine and tears stream down her face. I fight back the emotion I feel building up inside me, so I can finish the song. The words that I’m still looking up and we have a lot to learn fit us perfectly, but I know together we can get through anything. With her by my side, I’m a better man.

“I’m giving you all my love,” I sing and I intertwine our fingers. “I’m still looking up.”

The crowd around us erupts in applause and I hear Trips loud ass hooting in the background. I wrap my arms around the one woman who has changed my life forever and I stare into her big, green eyes before I say, “All of it—my love is yours.”

She grabs my face and crushes her lips to mine, and I finally allow myself to feel worthy love.

Rock My Bed Playlist 3OH3! – Touchin’ On My Theory of a Dead Man – Gentleman Soulja Boy, Sammie – Kiss Me Through the Phone Cobra Starship – Good Girls Go Bad Juliet Simms – Wild Child In This Moment – Whore Black Stone Cherry – Blame It On the Boom Boom Pink – Try

Three Days Grace – Pain Hinder – Use Me

Halestorm – I Get Off Angels Fall – Drunk Enough Egypt Central – Enemy Inside (Part 2) Halestorm – All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You Aranda – Satisfied

Hinder – Better Than Me

ROCK MY WORLD

A Black Falcon Novella (2.5)

by Michelle A. Valentine

Chapter 1

AUBREY

I uncross my legs and then cross them again in the opposite direction. Still uncomfortable, I shift in my seat. Plane seats aren’t exactly known for being luxurious, but I thought sitting in first class would be way better than coach. Guess I was wrong.

I sigh and flip through the magazine I brought on board with me, trying to take my mind off what lies in wait for me at the end.

A deep laugh rumbles next to me and I whip my head in that direction.

“Nervous?” Zach teases while he offers me one of the Oreos he’s eating.

I shoot him a look, which only causes his smile to grow wider. “No.”

He wraps his arm around me and tucks my shoulder under the crook of his arm. “You forget how well I can read that little body of yours, Kitten. You afraid of what your parents will say when you bring me home to meet them?”

“Of course not,” I fire back immediately.

I stare up at him as his green eyes search my face. His baseball cap is pulled down low on his forehead—his favorite public disguise since he’s best known for his crazy blonde and black Mohawk—framing his handsome face perfectly.

I sometimes hate that he knows me so well. The truth is I am nervous, but I’m not about to admit that to him. My parents are the most uptight, conservative people on the planet. They have no clue their little girl is about to bring home a bad-assed, tattooed rock star. I want them to get along, even though I know the chances of that happening are slim to none. I probably should’ve eased them into the idea instead of springing it on them like this, but there wasn’t any time. This trip isn’t exactly just a visit, it’s business too, and in my situation, father is the best person to ask for help.

“Attention all passengers, we will be landing in Houston shortly. Please bring your seats to an upright position and make sure your tray table is the upright, locked position...” The flight attendants instructions cause my heart to leap in my throat.

It won’t be long now.

My parents have no clue I’m coming, let alone bringing a guest with me. It was Zach’s idea to come here after the reality that I was now an unemployed new grad hit me. I cried for a solid week. It was like part of my soul had been torn away and my purpose had been yanked from me. Center Stage Marketing is a dream company to work for and I wasn’t ready to give it up.

Granted what I had done to Isaac was wrong, but it had nothing to do with my work performance. Zach tried to convince me he could help me find another job, I wouldn’t take him up on the offer though. I earned my degree on my own merit, and I want to find and keep a job the same way. The only sound thing that comes to mind is getting my old position back—via the legal route if I have to.

Zach takes my hand into his and I give his fingers a gentle squeeze. “Thank you for coming with me.”

He smiles and presses the back of my hand to his lips. “Where else would I be? You need me? I’m there. It’s you and me against the world now, right?”

I nod and stare up into his green eyes, taking in the fact again that this man truly belongs to me. “Absolutely.”

The plane touches down and I Zach and I exit rather quickly, pulling our bags along with us through the airport terminal. We finally make it to the rental car area of the airport and luckily the gray-haired woman waiting on us has no idea who Zach is. The woman processes us through in a hurry while looking up to eyeball his arms with a snarled lip every couple seconds.

She’s probably desperate to get rid of the tattooed hooligan at her counter.

Once we’re in the parking garage Zach clicks the car fob and the lights blink on a blue Ford Fusion. “That’s us.”

I grip the handle of my suitcase and roll it towards the car. “It shouldn’t take long to drive to my parent’s house. They live just outside the city.”

Zach pops the trunk and tosses his bag inside, following it with mine. “That’s good. After spending most of my time on the road, I like short trips. Being cooped up for long periods at a time sucks—it’s the one thing I hate about my job.”

I frown. “I’m going to hate that part, too. I can’t imagine being away from you so long.”

Tattooed arms reach out and wrap around my waist. I smile as Zach pulls me in tight against his hard body, and I squeeze him back as I lay my head on his chest. “I wish you would take the opportunity to come on the road with me while you’re between jobs. I would love to have you by my side.”

“Zach...”

“I know. I know. I’m being a selfish jerk. The idea of missing you after I just got you back drives me crazy.” He sighs. “I love you and I want to be with you every second that I can. Can you blame a guy for being obsessed with his beautiful, sexy, hell-raiser in the sack girlfriend?”

I giggle at how dream-like it is that he’s just as crazy about me as I am about him. “You’re ridiculous.”

A deep laugh rumbles in his chest. “Ridiculous, maybe...honest, damn straight. Come on. We better not keep those parents of yours waiting.”

I stiffen in his arms. “About that...I didn’t exactly tell them we were coming.”

I pull back and peek up at his face, afraid of the disappointment I’ll see there. His lips pull into a tight line as he stares down at me. “So they have no idea they’re about to meet me?”

I bite my bottom lip. “They don’t even know I’m dating anyone.”

This time I feel Zach’s back stiffen against my fingers. It's tension I’ve created by not being honest with him about the situation.

He starts to pull away but I grab the hem of his shirt. “Zach. Stop.”

He freezes in my grasp and tilts his head up—doing everything he can to not look at me. I study his strong jaw line and the slight stubble growing along it. I hate that I’m hurting him. Fighting with him is the last thing I want to do. I wish he could understand why I didn't say anything to them. He has no clue how hard it’s going to be facing my parents and telling them how irresponsible I was in their eyes for dating this gorgeous rock star before me, throwing my career away in the process. My father doesn’t believe in doing crazy things in the name of love.

How can I explain to Zach while I love him with every inch of my being, my father and his hard-ass ways still scare the shit out me even though I’m an adult? I know it doesn’t make sense, but I still can’t bring myself to succumb to my father’s views on life in general.

I take a deep breath. I brought him here to make them understand. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told my parents, but I knew if I did over the phone they wouldn’t get it. They wouldn’t know how special you are to me. I wanted to introduce you in person and make them see.”

Zack tips his head down and stares into my eyes before pushing my hair behind my ear. “I get it. Just because they’re our parents doesn’t make them the best people sometimes. I know that as well as anyone.”

I lean into his hand that lingers against my cheek and think about how great my family life was compared to his. And how I’m being such a baby over things and he’s still so understanding. “Thank you.”

He smirks. “Besides, you probably didn’t want your mom Googling me and seeing some pictures of her daughter’s boyfriend in um...” He clears his throat. “Compromising positions.”

I smack his arm. “Ugh. Gross.”

He laughs as he walks to the passenger side door and opens it for me. “What? You don’t think she needs a little man candy in her life? I’m sure she does after dealing with The Judge all these years.”

I take a couple steps toward him while I groan. “My parents don’t have sex, okay?”

Zach rests his hand on top of the door while I squeeze between it and the car and face him. “Of course they do. How else do you think you got here?”

My stomach turns at the thought of my parents that way. “Okay, so maybe they did it two times, but that’s it—once for me and once for my brother. No more. ”

He laughs and I scrunch my nose. Zach stretches out his index finger and taps me on the nose. “Wishful thinking, Kitten. Everyone has sex.” I open my mouth to protest, but he quickly cuts me off. “Everyone. When we hit our fifties, we’ll still be having hot, porn-like sex everyday. My stamina has no expiration date, babe.”

When he wiggles his eyebrows a laugh escapes me. There’s no doubt in my mind that this sexy beast before me will probably still have his most favorite body part standing to attention well into his golden years. It’s just funny thinking of this wild man as ever being old. He’s too strong willed and virile for me to picture him in any other state than he is right now—a tatted up rockstar with muscles galore.

I tug on the bill of his ball cap and then take my seat inside the car. “Come on, sex machine. You have some parents to impress.”

“No worries. Moms love me.” He winks at me after he shuts me in.

I shake my head. It’s kind of gross that he’s dead on. I’ve seen the way women throw themselves at my man. I’ve seen the cougars in full effect. Apparently, lust has no age limits.

Once we’re on the road, I stretch my legs out and take in the familiar scenery that covers the landscape on my way to my childhood home in The Woodlands, in northern Houston. “Make a left here.”

Zach let’s out a low whistle as we finally pull onto my street. “Wow, looks like I’m dating a spoiled, little, rich girl.”

“I’m far from rich. The Judge is the one that’s loaded, not me,” I remind him.

He shrugs nonchalantly. “Maybe so, but I guarantee you never went without.” When I don’t immediately have a snappy comeback to argue that I didn’t have it made like he thinks, he smiles. “That’s what I thought.”

The truth is I did have it made as a kid—as long as I played by my parent’s rules. I was never one really to push the boundaries the perfect child role they expected my brother and I to play, but I didn’t fully embrace the uppity lifestyle, either—which probably explains why I started dating the bad-boys in college. They were so different from the guys I grew up with in high school. They hated rules and loved their freedom, and deep-down I discovered the same thing about myself once I was out in the real world and could make my own decisions.

Zach pulls into the drive and cuts the engine before turning his head my direction. “Anything else I need to know before I walk in there?”

My mind wonders through a few scenarios of how this first meeting could go down. The last boy I brought home was clear back in high school, and he was nothing like Zach. While my mother knows I tend to get my heart crushed by loser men, she’s never had the pleasure of meeting my new type. She’s used to seeing me with uptight jerks like Isaac, so I’m not sure how she’ll react. I pray they remember their manners and are polite to him, whether they approve of our relationship or not. If not, I’m going to have to put on my big-girl panties and tell them to fuck off.

Not one piece of advice to give to Zach flits through my mind, but I want to reassure him as I hope for the best. “Just be your charming self and they’ll love you.”

He flicks his green eyes towards the large, two-story, brick home in front of us. “I can’t get over the size of this place. Lawyers really make that much?”

“The good ones do.” I touch his hand on the gear-shift. “Remember, my dad takes his job pretty seriously, so don’t crack jokes about it. He actually likes it when my brother, Gabe and I call him The Judge like the rest of this town. That’s how much he’s into it. It’s his life.”

Zach raises his brow. “Maybe I should have you start calling me Guitar God. Might be kind of fun, especially in the bedroom. What do you think?”

I smack his arm. “I think you better keep dreaming, because that’s so not happening.”

He laughs as he opens his door. I take a second to appreciate the view when he walks around the front of the car. His jeans hang low on his hips, yet hug his butt perfectly, accentuating the curve, making it almost yummy enough for me to take a nibble. The white t-shirt he’s wearing strains against his toned, tattooed arms as he reaches up and tugs on the hat that’s hiding his trademark hairstyle. He’s so freaking hot. How did I get this lucky?

Lost in the thought of how sexy he is, I jump and clutch my chest when he opens my door.

He stares down at me with those sparkling, green eyes with a perplexed expression. “You alright there?”

A blush fills my cheeks as I stand up. “Never better.”

Zach wraps his arms around my shoulders and grins. I inhale the spicy scent of his cologne mixed with the soap he uses. “You were thinking naughty thoughts about me again, weren’t you?”

I bite my lip but never tear my gaze away from the challenge in his eyes. “Maybe I was.”

A growl escapes his lips as he pushes his hips against me, allowing me to feel the growing erection in his pants against my belly. “Damn it, Kitten. See what you do to me. I swear to God I’m on like a fucking light switch whenever thoughts of you and sex enter my head at the same time. You’ve ruined me for life.”

I laugh and run my hands up and down his back. “I’m glad I’ve ruined you for all other women. I want to keep you all to myself.”

“You don’t ever have to worry about that, babe.” He reaches up and tucks a strand of my auburn hair behind my ear. “If I have it my way, you’ll be stuck with me forever.”

His thumb traces my chin and he leans in and presses his lips softly to mine. My legs below me instantly turn to jelly and I sink further into him. It’s amazing the affect a simple kiss from this man can have on me. It was one simple kiss from him that first night backstage that turned my world on its head and changed everything in my life. For him—for this love we have—I would do anything. This man is my world.

My lips part of their own accord and I allow his tongue to slip inside my mouth. I grip his shirt in my hands, holding on tight as I get lost in how much my body craves him.

Lean muscle pushes against me and I steady myself against the car for support. Zach’s fingers thread into my hair and a small whimper escapes my lips when he pulls away. Feather light kisses run along the corner of my mouth before he works his way across my cheek to the spot just below my ear that drives me crazy. My head falls back as he runs a hand down my side.

We probably look semi-pornographic making out in my parent’s driveway, but I don’t care. Zach brings out a wild side in me even I didn’t know existed—a true rebel willing to risk anything for the man who makes my body feel this good. His touch is pretty damn addictive.

He sighs against my skin. “We should probably go in before someone reports the tattooed man mauling The Judge’s daughter to the cops.”

“To hell with the neighbors,” I breathe, not wanting to lose this feeling.

Zach chuckles. “As much as I would like to give the neighbors a hell of a show by fucking you on the hood of this car, I don’t think it’s the best idea. I actually want your family to like me.”

My shoulders instantly sag. “You’re right. It wouldn’t be a good look, would it?”

He pulls his lips into a tight line and shakes his head. “Probably not. Besides, your father has enough connections to kill me and get away scot free if he were to catch me with my dick in his little princess.”

I pinch his pierced nipple through his t-shirt. “You know exactly what to say to ruin a perfectly romantic moment. My father shooting you is the last thing I want to picture right now.”

“Ouch!” He swats my hand away and then rubs his chest. “Oh, you’re going to get it!”

Zach leans in and smiles playfully, ready to pounce on me and a voice behind us stops us both in our tracks. “Get what?”

I jerk my body to the right in order to peer around Zach’s shoulder and see my brother behind him. “Gabe!” I scurry over to him and he scoops me up in a bear hug. “What are you doing here?”

Gabe laughs and tosses his shaggy, brown hair out of his blue eyes. “I could ask you the same thing, little sister.”

He sets me on my feet. Gabe’s filled out since I saw him last spring. The gleaming-white, tennis outfit he’s wearing shows off the lean muscles in his forearms and toned calves. “Wow. You been working out?”

He shrugs. “A little. The ladies seem to like it.”

I laugh. “Always the ladies man—you never change.”

Gabe grins down at me. “Can’t say the same thing about you, sis.” His eyes flit over my shoulder in Zach’s direction. “Who’s this?”

I smile and then turn towards my boyfriend who’s’ watching us with mild curiosity while leaning against his rental car. “Gabe, this is my boyfriend, Zach. Zach, this is my brother, Gabe.”

Zach pushes his sculpted body away from the car and extends his hand. “Hey, man. Nice to meet you.”

Their hands make a small audible clap when they meet. “You, too. Say, you look familiar. Have we met before?”

My brother’s eyes scan my man’s tatted-up arms as he mentally tries to place his familiarity. While I know why Gabe thinks he’s seen Zach, I won’t burst in and ruin Zach’s cover if he isn’t ready to share that part of himself with my family, yet. I’ll leave that secret for him to reveal.

Zach shrugs and grins wickedly. “Maybe at the country club?”

My bother pauses for a moment before he chuckles, catching the hint of amusement in Zach’s voice. “I think I would remember you at the club. Hell, you’d be my biggest competition for the ladies. I know how they go gah-gah over men with tattoos.”

I hook my arm through Zach’s and peer up at his face. “I can vouch for most women when I say tattoos are sexy.”

My brother shakes his head. “Let’s hope you’re right about that, sis, because he’s about to meet a woman who I’m pretty sure has a snooty-stick shoved so far up her ass she doesn’t find anything appealing, let alone sexy.”

I smack my brother’s arm. “Gross! Don’t ever say Mom and sexy in the same sentence ever again. Those two words are now forbidden for use together.”

Gabe laughs. “You know I never did like rules. We always had that in common, remember?”

I give Zach’s arm a gentle squeeze, thinking of how I’m breaking the rules right now by bringing this man home. “I do. Are Mom and The Judge home?”

“Yeah, they’re in there. They don’t know you’re coming do they? I mentioned you coming home this weekend and neither of them had no clue what I was talking about, so I left it alone. I figured you had your reasons.”

I shake my head. “No. I didn’t want to explain my unscheduled visit with them.”

Gabe’s eyes widen and instantly drop down to my stomach. “Holy shit! Are you pregnant?”

My hand flies to cover my belly. “God, no! “

“You’re getting married then, or you’ve already gotten married?” My brother grins while his eyes bounce back and forth between Zach and me. “I’m glad I decided to come home from school this weekend. This should be a damn good show.”

“You’re an idiot.” I sigh. “It’s neither of those things...” My eyes flick to Zach’s for a split second before I turn my attention back to my semi-annoying sibling. “At least not yet, anyway. But, there is something pressing I need to speak with them about.”

Gabe waves us towards the house. “Well, come on. Let’s get this show started. I have a court reserved in a bit with a hot, little blonde from the club. I’m hoping to crush her on and off the court, if you know what I mean.”

I roll my eyes. “What is it with you men and sex? Is that all you ever think about?”

Both men in my presence answer “yes” in unison, and then immediately laugh.

“I think you and I are going to get along just fine, Zach. Watch out for my old man, though. In this case the apple falls very far away from the tree.”

“Thanks for the tip, bro. I’ve heard some stories about The Judge,” Zach says.

“Most are probably true. Tread softly, man. The tattoos won’t help your case much, I’m afraid. He’s old school and correlates them with criminal activity.”

Zach shakes his head. “That’s so judgmental. Talk about stereotypical.”

My brother shrugs. “He is a judge. It’s his job to be judgmental.”

“Touché,” Zach laughs. “Let me grab our bags from the trunk.”

“I’ll help you,” Gabe says.

My heart warms instantly at the sight of the man I’m deeply in love with talking and laughing with my one and only sibling. More than anything in the world, I want Zach and my family to get along well. I know if they can see the way he loves me they’ll understand why I love him so much and why he’s the perfect man for me. Gabe’s right though. The tattoos won’t make the best first impression—neither will his occupation once they all find out who he is, but I hope they can get past that. I need them to get past that, because no matter if they approve or not, this is the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

My brother takes my bag from the trunk and Zach closes the lid. “Anna nearly has dinner finished. You’re just in time to sit down to a traditional Sunday lunch with the family, Zach.”

Zach arches his pierced eyebrow. “Anna?”

“Our housekeeper,” I answer after retrieving my purse from the car. “My mother hasn’t cooked a meal herself since Dad’s career took off.”

“And that’s a blessing if you ask me. Anna is a much better cook than Mom.” Gabe states as we head towards the front door. “I prefer a little Latin flavor.”

I smirk at him, knowing he’s not just referring to food. “You mean you prefer Alandra, Anna’s daughter.”

Gabe stops at the door and grins while his free hand rests on the handle. “I haven’t seen Alandra since she went away for college on the East coast.” His eyes get lost, and almost have a dreamy appearance like he’s remembering some long lost dream. “I wonder what she’s up to? I bet she’s hot now.”

I shake my head and nudge his shoulder. “Come on, Romeo. Let us in.”

The heavy, wooden door swings open with ease as soon as Gabe turns the handle. The house is just as immaculate as always. The gleaming, white tiles in the foyer make the double, grand staircases stand out against the stark walls. The round mahogany table between them matches the wood throughout the house perfectly, while the bright yellow and pink flower arrangement resting on its surface gives the room a pop of color.

“Wow,” Zach says as he takes in the large space. “If MTV ever brings Cribs back and wants to come to my house, I’m bringing them here instead. This puts my place to shame.”

“I’m sure it doesn’t. I can’t wait to see your place,” I say.

A wide smile stretches across his face. “Soon.”

The sound of high heels clicking against the floor catches my immediate attention and I stiffen. “Good land of the living, is that my Aubrey I hear in here?”

Mom appears in the room in a pink knee-length skirt and matching blouse, her pearls on display around her neck. Her auburn hair hangs loose above her shoulders, and as always she looks very put together. I smile as I set my purse on the table and step into her outstretched arms. “Hi, Mom.”

She pats my back. “Darling, it’s so good to see you. Let me take a look at you.” She steps back and grabs each of my wrists, effectively spreading my arms away from my body for her once over. “Charles, dear, you must come greet our unexpected visitor!”

I freeze as my mom calls for my father to enter the room. In an instant, my father is there, dressed in his khaki pants and long-sleeved button down shirt—his typical casual Sunday outfit. His salt and pepper hair is neatly trimmed and styled like he’s stuck in the eighties.

The Judge smiles. “There’s my little princess. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming, honey?”

I cringe at him referring to me as his princess. It only solidifies what Zach was saying earlier about me being spoiled.

“It’s good to see you, Judge,” I step into my father’s awaiting hug.

“Dear, would you pay the poor cab driver so he can leave,” Mom says to Dad while clutching her pearls, and I instantly jerk away from the hug.

“Here you go, young fellow.” Dad reaches for his wallet and I shake my head placing my hand on his arm, stopping it mid-motion. “Don’t be silly, Aubrey. I’ll pay your fair.”

Without warning the Judge takes a couple steps toward Zach and stuffs a wad of cash in his hand. Zach’s eyebrows rise as he stares down at the money. My face heats up and I know it’s fifty shades of red as I feel embarrassed that my family is so close-minded to think my man is nothing but a hired hand. I want to crawl into a hole and die.

I reach over and touch my father’s shoulder. “No, Daddy. He isn’t the cab driver. This is Zach, my boyfriend.”

The Judge eyebrows pull together in confusion. “Boyfriend? Honey, I don’t understand. Have you seen this man? I thought your mother and I raised you better than that.”

“Daddy, please!” I scold my father while anger that he would treat the man I love this way boils inside me. I step to Zach’s side and wrap my arm around his waist while he throws his arm over my shoulders. “I love him and I would appreciate if you could all to treat him with the same respect you show me. Besides, he’s not some riff-raff off the street, he’s—”

Zach holds up the hand holding the money, cutting me off mid-sentence. “Let him think what he wants about me.” In a swift motion Zach stuffs my father’s money in the front pocket of his jeans and my heart thunders, knowing this is his way of telling my father to fuck off. “He is The Judge, after all.”

The Judge narrows his eyes and raises a pointed finger at Zach, ready to fire threats like he always does when he’s challenged. I grip my man’s side preparing for my father’s wrath.

I hear my mother gasp and my mouth hangs open just before her body goes limp and she collapses to the floor. She was never good with conflict, passing out at anything the slightest bit stressful.

“Honey?” My father lands on his knees next to my mother’s side holding her head up while my brother uses his medical training to assess her.

Zach and I stand in my family’s foyer wrapped together in a show of solidarity. No matter what they say, I’m going to be with him. Like he said earlier, it’s him and I against the world. If my parents don’t want to support that, I might have to make one of the most difficult choices I’ve ever had to face and cut them out of my life.

Chapter 2

ZACH

The third time her cell phone rings, Aubrey shuts is off and tosses it in her purse. She closes her eyes and leans her head back against the headrest. Her long auburn hair falls over her shoulders in full waves while her mouth pulls into a slight frown. Getting in the car with me and leaving her family behind wouldn’t have been easy for her. I can’t imagine telling some of the most important people in my life to fuck off because they don’t approve of the person I’m in love with, but I’m glad she did. It’s got to be the hardest thing in the world for her. I swallow hard as I think about how it’s possible she might hate me for the little stunt I pulled.

I reach over and thread my fingers through her delicate ones while I readjust my hand on the wheel. “It’s gonna be alright, babe. Give them time to adjust.”

She bites her bottom lip to try and keep it from quivering. “How can you say that after how they treated you? I hate them.”

I bring her knuckles to my mouth and kiss them gently. “No you don’t. You’re angry right now. I’m used to people treating me like that. Before I became ‘Riff’ days like today were what my life was like. People, especially ones with money, would watch me like a hawk, thinking in their head I was a thief and a low life.”

“Didn’t you hate that? Being treated like a criminal?”

I glance over at her beautiful questioning face. “It wasn’t exactly a fucking picnic, but I get that some people don’t understand rock culture and tattoos are just another outlet for us to express creativity.”

She looks down at her lap. “I’m sorry.”

I reach over and tap her chin up. “What are you sorry for, Kitten?”

Aubrey sighs. “For everything. For the shitty life you led, for the way people treated you and above all how my family treated you. I expected so much more from them. I thought they would at least have enough faith in me to trust my judgment and see you are a great person—someone I love.”

I pull into the first decent hotel I see and park the Fusion. I pivot in the seat and turn her face in my hands and force her to look at me. “No one has ever stood up for me like that before—chosen me over basically their entire world. It means a lot that you did that, but I also want you to know even if they treat me like shit, I always want you to have a relationship with your family.”

“Zach, I won’t have anything to do with them if they don’t accept you.”

I stare into her green eyes. “They don’t have to accept me, Aubrey. All that matters to me is that you do. You know my darkest secrets, and all the fucked up details that make me who I am, and you haven’t run for the hills screaming. I’ll do anything for you. Anything. I want you to be happy and I don’t want you to fight with your parents over me. I don’t want you to resent me one day.”

A tear leaks from her right eye. “I would never resent you. Ever.”

I brush away the fallen tears from her face with my thumbs and lean in to press my lips against hers. “I love you, Kitten. I’ll always treat you right.”

After I pay for a room at the front desk, we take the elevator up to the fifth floor and roll our luggage down the hall to our room. I swipe the room card and open the door, ushering my girl inside. It’s a typical king-sized bedroom, with neutral walls and white bedding.

Aubrey flops down on the bed and kicks off her shoes. Her bare legs dangle off the side, and the green dress she’s wearing rides up her thighs as she stretches her arms above her head. She’s fucking beautiful and perfect. There’s nothing about this girl that doesn’t turn me on. Instantly, the need to hold her in my arms overwhelms me and I can’t help but give in to it.

I remove the hat I’m wearing and toss it to the empty chair in the room before I crawl into bed next to her. On my side facing her, I prop my head up with my left hand and stare down at her. I trace the bare skin on her left shoulder before slipping my fingers under the spaghetti-strap holding up dress. It hooks with ease around my index finger and I slide it down, exposing the top of her left breast. A white lacey bra covers her nipple, but I pull my fingertips down the curve of her breast and feel its silky-softness. My cock jerks in my jeans from the simple contact and almost as if she knows how fucking turned on I’m getting she smiles the most perfect smile.

Aubrey opens her eyes and brings her hand up to my cheek, touching it softly, and I turn my face into it, kissing her wrist and inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume. Before her I was lost, constantly at war with myself. I didn’t believe I was worthy of a love so simple and pure. It’s something I still battle with, but with each passing day I grow a little more at ease with having something so great in my life. I fucking love this woman, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Aubrey and my band are all that matter to me in this fucked up world.

“What are you thinking?” she whispers as she stares into my eyes.

I lean down to kiss her lips, and the necklace I’m wearing rests on her chest. “About how lucky I am to have you.”

She bites her lip. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

“Liar,” I say and then kiss the tip of her nose.

She pulls my mouth back down to hers. “Let me prove it to you.”

“You’ll get no arguments from me, babe.”

Her leg swings around and hooks on my hip as she pushes her weight against me, throwing me back against the bed. Long strands of hair frame her face as she straddles me and shoves my shirt up in order to rake her nails down my abs.

I suck in a quick breath from the amazing feeling of pleasure and pain it creates. “Fuck.”

I sit up, wrapping my arms around her before crushing my lips to hers and plunging my tongue in her mouth. A soft moan vibrates out of her mouth and I feel the sound it makes as I deepen the kiss. My hand runs up her back and then threads into her thick hair. My dick strains against my jeans, begging for entrance into my most favorite place on the planet—buried deep in her pussy.

She tosses her head back and I drag my lips down her neck to her collar bone. “God, Zach. I want you.”

It’s all the invitation I need to take her. I yank her dress and an audible tearing sound fills the air as I rip the top down exposing her breast. Kitten doesn’t seem to notice because she’s too busy pulling my shirt over my head. I love how fucking excited she gets when I touch her.

She circles her hips, rubbing her panty covered pussy against the fabric of my jeans. The pressure of her body against mine makes my cock throb and I can’t take it any longer.

I shove her dress up over her hips, rip her panties off her body, and then run my fingertip over her swollen clit.

“I actually liked those.” I don’t have to look at her face because I can tell from her sultry tone that she’s pouting.

“I’ll buy you fifty fucking new ones. They were in my way and had to go,” I say against her skin and she giggles.

Feather-light kisses caress my shoulder as I kneed her tits. Her taut nipples rub against my chest as I grab her face and kiss her hungrily. The only word that floats through my sex-hazed brain is mine. How this woman will always be mine.

My index finger slips inside her. “Damn, Kitten. You’re always so ready for me.”

“It’s because I always want you,” she breathes into my ear.

I slip my hand away from her body and flip her onto her back. “That’s good to know because I always fucking want you, too.” I grab her hand and guide it to my stiff cock. “You do this to me. Just the thought of sliding into you causes this. I love being inside you.”

She bites her lip as she sits up and makes quick work of freeing my dick from my jeans and boxer-briefs. Her wet tongue darts out from behind her teeth and she licks my shaft from root to tip on both sides while she stares up at me, watching my reaction.

Her lips wrap around me and she swirls her tongue around the head before taking even more into her mouth. The warmth of her mouth causes a tingle to erupt all over my body and I shudder from the pure delight.

I sweep her hair to the side and hold it back as I watch her work. The sight alone nearly makes me come in her mouth. “Damn, baby. You’re so fucking good at that.”

I suck a quick breath in through my teeth when she looks up at me and says, “I need you inside me.”

As much as I want to make that happen for her, I shake my head. “I believe in fair play.”

Before she can say another word I grab her hips, yank her ass to the edge of the bed and kneel down. I spread her thighs open and then use my fingers to open her folds to expose her swollen clit. I circle my tongue around it and taste the sweet juices of her arousal. I fuck her with two fingers while using the trick of drawing a figure-of-eight with my tongue to work her into a frenzy. She grabs handfuls of the comforter at her sides as she cries out and screams my name. Her pussy clenches my greedily around my fingers as she rides the wave of her orgasm.

Her body goes limp as I stand and guide my cock into her. “Mmmm. I’ll never get tired of fucking you.”

I shove into her down to the base and then pull back out, loving how wet she is. I wrap one of her legs around my waist and props the other up on my chest as she leans up on he elbows. “Oh, Zach. That’s it. Right there.”

I love it when she lets me know I’m pleasing her. Mutual gratification is always the goal when I’m making love to her.

My fingers dig into her hips as I pump faster while she stares up at me with hooded eyes and her mouth hanging open. Our eyes stay locked as warmth spreads over my body. I try to fight it off and think about something else, but it’s fucking impossible with her looking up at me like that—all sexed-up and panting.

I feel myself slipping into sweet oblivion, and I know I can’t hold back much longer. Aubrey’s brow furrows and her mouth pulls into an ‘O’, and I nearly loose my mind as I know she’s about to find bliss with me with time. “That’s it, baby. Come for me.” She closes her eyes and cries out my name. “Shit,” I growl.

A whimper escapes her as she lets go at the exact time I do. Heat pulses through me as I fill her full. I love coming inside her. I never knew the difference wearing a condom made until I experienced raw sex with Aubrey that first night. Now, I’m fucking addicted to it, just like I am this amazing woman beneath me.

It takes a second for the nerves in my body to stop twitching and for me to regain my composure. Aubrey grins up at me while biting the tip of her manicured fingernail. She’s fucking adorable.

I bend down and kiss her lips. “I fucking love you, do you know that?”

She laughs. “I have a pretty good idea.”

I move my hips and slide my still semi-erect cock in and out of her. “This should give you a great fucking idea. I’m already gearing up for round two.”

Her lips crush mine. “You really are a machine.”

“Damn straight, babe. I’m ready to make you scream all night long.”

She shakes her head and grabs my shoulders pulling me down and then rolling onto of me. “It’s my turn to take control.”

With that I lay back and enjoy the show while my woman fucks me like there’s no tomorrow.

“Shit!” Aubrey exclaims as she turns her phone on. “Ten missed calls from my mother and three from Gabe.”

“Maybe you should call them back. They’re worried about you,” I suggest.

She shakes her head. “They should be worried about me ever speaking to them again after the way they treated you.”

I can’t argue with her much there. The Judge have might as well punched me square in the balls and placed a restraining order on me to stay away from his daughter with the way he acted towards me. When he slapped that money in my hand, it took everything in me not to shove it down his throat and tell him I wipe my ass with more. I was pretty proud that I was able to keep my temper in check and merely shove it in my pocket once he found out I was with Aubrey, and not some fucking servant.

Gabe seems pretty cool though. “Why don’t you at least call your brother and tell him the tattooed deviant didn’t steal you away and murder you. That should ease your mother’s mind and keep her from passing out again.”

Kitten sits next to me on the bed and frowns. “I don’t know what’s come over them. They’ve never been such...”

“Assholes?”

She answers with a sad smile. “Yes, assholes. I’m sure it was a lot for them to take in. They’re not used to me being with someone who looks like you.”

I nod thoughtfully and my mind drifts back to the reason we came here in the first place. “You mean they’d much rather see you with that douchebag, Isaac?”

She rolls her pretty green eyes. “Someone exactly like him.”

“You know, Kitten, meeting them really makes me understand why you were standoffish in the beginning and only wanted a fast fuck from me.”

“It does?” I hear the question in her voice.

“Of course it does, but it also shows me how much you care about me—about what you’re willing to risk to be with me.” I push a lock of hair behind her ear. “I love you, babe.”

“I love you, too.”

She turns the phone over in her hand and I can see how hard fighting with her family is for her. My heart squeezes at the thought of her pain, and I’ll do anything to bring a smile back to that pretty face.

I nudge her arm. “Call them.”

She shakes her head again.

“At least call Gabe.”

Aubrey sighs and turns the phone over to stare at the screen. “I guess it won’t hurt to call him.”

I give her another little nudge. “Go on.”

Her fingers fly over the keys and then she places the phone up to her ear, waiting for a familiar voice on the line. “Hey...I know, but...really?” She turns toward me with wide eyes. “Maybe...No...No promises, Gabe. If they act like that again, I’m done...All right. I’ll talk to you soon.”

Anxious to know about the other side of that conversation, I try and coax some information out of her. “Sooo...what’s going on?”

“They want us to come back over for dinner. Gabe says they want to apologize and start over now that the shock of the situation has worn off.”

I tilt my head to the side. “You know, I was thinking about something.”

“What’s that?”

It’s a hard subject to broach, but it’s something I need to know. “Why would you so blatantly defy them to be with someone like me?”

Aubrey stretches her hand up and glides her fingers from my cheek to my earlobe. “Being with someone like you was never in the plan, but I can’t help that I find your bad-boy ways so damn appealing. I know that wanting to make a life with you is seriously against the rules, which is why I only wanted to keep our relationship to one night. But you grew on me and I couldn’t drag you out of my heart no matter how hard I tried. The more I’m with you, the more I want you. I love you, Zach. For some crazy, messed up reason you’re my soul-mate. The man I’m supposed to be with forever.” She looks away from me. “I really can’t explain it without sounding like a total girl. It’s like fate brought you and I together.”

I lean down and brush my lips against her shoulder. “I feel the exact same way.”

She gazes into my eyes and blinks a couple times. “You do?”

“Of course I do. Now, get some clothes on and let’s go give your family the do-over they want. I promise not to hold your father’s dickhead actions against him.”

She nods. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“He’s your pops, babe. I’ll suck it up and try to reel in the asshole gene that I love to display just as long as he doesn’t fucking push me.”

Kitten’s lips pull into a lop-sided smile. “Thank you.”

Thirty minutes later, Kitten and I are parked in the same exact spot in the driveway. For some strange reason, I feel the nerves getting to me. Even being on stage in front of thousands of people doesn’t make my hands feel clammy like this.

What the fuck is wrong with me? It’s just her dad. I’ve told executives and big shots who call themselves in charge of the band off before, which could’ve flushed the bands career down the toilet, and never felt like this.

I risk a glance at Aubrey and she’s chewing on her lip. “Hey.” I touch her hand. “It’s going to be a lot better this time.”

She sighs. “I hope so.” Her eyes flit up to the house and then back to me. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” I hop out of the car, not giving her any more time to dwell on the what-if’s.

She opens her door before I have a chance to make it over to her and steps out of the car. A timid smile crosses her lips before she grabs my hand in hers and tugs me towards the front door.

The second we step onto the landing the door swings open and her brother greets us with a grin. “That was quite the show. I’m really glad I came back for this.”

Aubrey rolls her eyes. “You look for any excuse to get out of school. Tell me again how you’re managing to make it through med school?”

“Ha. Ha. You think you’re funny, don’t you?”

She pinches his cheek as she passes him, and we step through the threshold. “I’m only joking. I know if you didn’t take that year off to go back-packing through Europe with me you’d be done by now. It put us both behind in school, but it was totally worth it.”

I furrow my brow. “You never told me you did that.”

Gabe pats me on the shoulder. “How long have you two been together?”

I pause as I think about that question. Our relationship has been so crazy up to this point I can’t honestly give him an answer. “I’m not sure.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Sounds like there’s a lot you two don’t know about each other. Come on, everyone’s sitting down.”

He’s right. I’m sure there’s tons of shit we don’t about each other yet, but that doesn’t change the way I feel about her. She’s amazing, and that’s enough for me. The rest will come with time. I’m sure of it.

Chapter 3

AUBREY

My father stands the moment Zach and I enter the room. “Hi, honey. Thank you for coming back over.”

Before I have a chance to answer, Mom swoops in out of nowhere and wraps me in a hug. “Dear, thank you for coming back. I’m sorry for that little scene earlier. You’re very important to your father and I, and we don’t want to drive you away by not accepting your...lifestyle. Forgive us?”

“Mom, it’s not a lifestyle. I’m not becoming a deviant. Sometimes first impressions are incorrect.” I step back and cling to Zach’s side. “Mom, Judge, I would like you to officially meet my boyfriend, Zachery Oliver.”

The Judge’s lips pull into a tight line as he extends his hand out to Zach. “Sorry about before, son. I’m Charles Jenson and this here is Connie.” He tilts his head in Mom’s direction.

“It’s good to meet you both,” Zach answers and I smile, silently thanking him for being so gracious.

“Come on, now. Everyone have a seat and let’s eat,” Mom says.

Once we’re all seated at the expansive table in my parents elegant dinning room, Anna serves salads and fills the glasses on the table with water. Zach removes his hat, revealing his crazy hair and both of my parents’ eyebrows instantly shoot up. I can tell it’s killing them not being able to say something about the hair, but they know they’re treading on thin ice here, so they hold it in.

The Judge sits at the head of the table, unfolds his dinner napkin and clears his throat. “So tell me, Zach. What do you do for a living?”

“Daddy...” I warn, wanting him to know not to cross the line.

“Calm down now, sugar. It’s a respectable question any father would ask a man his daughter brings home. I just want to get to know the boy is all.”

Zach pats my leg under the table and I instantly relax a bit. “It’s a perfectly legit question, Mr. Jenson.”

My father interrupts him. “Son, feel free to call me Judge. Most people round these parts do.”

I grip Zach’s hand and give it a squeeze so he knows no matter what he tells him or what they say, I’m with him.

“Well, Judge, I’m actually a musician. I play—”

“I knew it!” Gabe nearly shouts. “That’s where I’ve seen you before. You’re the guitarist for Black Falcon! Hot Damn!”

“Gabriel!” Mom scolds my brother. “We don’t use that type of language at the table.”

“I’m sorry, Mom, but this is Riff from Black Falcon—one of the biggest bands in the country.” Gabe stares at Zach dreamily with his mouth still agape. “I bet you pull women left and right. What are you doing with my sister?”

My mother studies Zach with curious eyes, awaiting an answer and no doubt mentally calling my boyfriend a manwhore while she waits. “How nice, you’re a celebrity. It sounds as though congratulations on your success are in order.”

Zach presses his water glass to his lips and takes a sip. “Thank you, Mrs. Jenson. My band has been really lucky to catch the breaks we have to get us to the level we’re on.”

My father swallows down his salad and then directs his attention towards Zach. “Is it safe to assume there’s quite a bit of traveling involved with being a professional musician?”

Needing to take some of the pressure of the firing squad off Zach I interject. “There is, but luckily he has enough pull to get me backstage whenever I want.”

“What’s it like back there? I bet the women are insane,” Gabe says.

“Pull yourself together, Gabriel, and act like you have some sense. You’re acting as though you were raised by wolves. The type of women that hang around those events aren’t for you.” Mom’s doing her best to keep her cool, but I can see the thought of her son indulging himself in a horde of groupies is going to cause her to loose it.

Gabe wipes some salad dressing from his mouth. “Your daughter was one of those women. They can’t all be bad.”

I choke on my water and my eyes grow wide. “Hey!”

“Actually, I met your sister during a business meeting when she worked at Center Stage Marketing. She was working on a project with us, along with Lanie Vance.” I smile up at Zach, thanking him for saving me a little bit of face with my family.

“You’re in the band that the boy Lanie married is in?” Mom’s finally starting to make the connections of how I ended up with a rock star.

“Yes, ma’am. The very same.”

“I couldn’t help noticing you said when she worked, as in past tense. Something you want to tell us, Aubrey?” I glance over at my father and tension instantly overtakes every muscle in my body.

Explaining to my family how I threw everything away in order to be with Zach is not going to go over well. They take careers pretty seriously, especially my father.

I stare into my father’s gray eyes. “That’s actually what I came home to talk to you about. There was a complication with my job, and well, I got fired. I need your legal advice on getting my job back.”

“Fired? When?” My father asks.

“Last week, right around the time of Lanie’s wedding.”

Mom’s mouth pulls into a tight line. “Aubrey Jenson, why didn’t you tell us about this right away?”

I shrug. “Because I was embarrassed and didn’t know how to. The reason I was fired has nothing to do with my work performance, but rather whom I’m dating, and well, I didn’t want to exactly tell you about all this over the phone.”

My father narrows his eyes at Zach. “How did dating this boy cause you to lose your job?”

Zach’s hand squeezes mine and I swallow hard as the thought about revealing my truth. “I...uh...I was sort of dating my boss.”

“Aubrey!” I can hear the gasp in my mother’s voice.

My father leans back in his chair and begins poking around at his salad—no doubt pondering how to approach the subject. “Honey, I do believe you have legal grounds upon which to seek reinstatement, or in the very least, a case for wrongful dismissal.”

I sit up a little straighter in my seat and smile. “Really? That’s great. Do you think if you called them—”

He holds his hand up, effectively cutting me off mid-sentence. “As much as I would like to help you, I can’t get involved.”

My eyebrows pull in. “Why not?”

“Because I’m your father and I’m a judge now. It wouldn’t be in the best interest of the case for me to represent you since the nature of the case is...complicated.”

My shoulders slump. “Oh.”

“But,” he continues, “There is a new attorney that I know that would be great at assisting you. He’s hungry to take on cases like this. I’ll give him a call right after dinner.”

I finally dig in to my salad, feeling at ease that my father seems somewhat understanding. “So is the guy someone from your old firm?”

My father chews his food and nods thoughtfully. “He is, and you actually know him.”

My mind flits back to the few times I’d met his colleagues. All of them are qualified to help me figure this thing out, but none of them are new. I have faith Dad wouldn’t steer me in the wrong direction. “Which one is it? Larry or Steve?”

“Brady Larson.”

The smile instantly drops off my face and my eyes grow wide. Is he kidding me? He’s recommending my high school boyfriend?

“What, darlin’? You look like a deer caught in the headlights.”

I glance over at Zach. His head tilts towards me as he studies my face and panic hits me. I don’t want to have secrets between him and I, so I might as well get everything out on the table. “Brady is my old boyfriend from high school.”

A light of recognition sparkles in Zach’s eyes. “It’s okay, Kitten. I don’t see anything wrong with him taking your case.”

“Y—you don’t?” I stumble over my words, completely shocked that he’s taking all this so calmly. “You’re okay with that?”

He takes my hand and kisses my fingertips right in front of my family. “Me and you against the world, right? I don’t have anything to worry about, do I?”

I shake my head as I stare into his eyes. The transition he’s undergone since the first time I met him is amazing. The womanizer who handed out golden tickets to groupies to avoid any type of real relationship is a world away from the man sitting beside me now, but we’re still working on trusting one another. I want to reassure him he has nothing to worry about. “Of course not.”

The Judge clears his throat. “Now, then, since that’s settled, let’s talk about what else you’ve been up to.”

We finish the evening chatting about different aspects of our lives, and Zach even manages to make my mother smile every now and again with his witty charm. My father doesn’t fool me, though. I know he’s watching my man for the slightest crack of weakness to exploit. He didn’t get to be where he is today without going to any length needed to get his way, and in this case I know he despises the fact that I’m dating a man like Zach. It was obvious the moment he mentioned Brady taking my case. But no matter if he does, I’m not leaving Zach. That much I’m sure of.

“So, Zach, do most of your friends call you Zach or Riff?” Gabe asks as he works on the apple pie Anna set in front of him moments ago.

Zach’s eyes slide to me and he smiles. “Aubrey is the only person who really calls me by my given name. Everyone else is happy to call me Riff.”

I bite my bottom lip and think about that first night together when he insisted I not call him Riff. I should’ve known I was special to him at that point, but with a reputation like his, it was easy to believe I meant nothing to him. Boy, how wrong was I?

“Is it cool I call you Riff then? I think the name is pretty bad-ass.”

Zach smiles. “Sure.”

“Sweet. Promise me you’ll come to the club with me sometime. Having you as a wing man will increase my pull with the ladies.” Gabe glances down at his watch. “Speaking of which, I got to go.”

I snicker. “Ah, yes, the crushing appointments.”

Gabe stands and then slides in his chair. “You’re one to talk about crushing.”

My mouth gapes open, and my brother winks at me before scooting out the door to meet up with some little, snobby socialite-type.

A scraping noise drags my attention to my father as he pushes back from the table and throws his cloth napkin on the table. “I’m going to go give Brady a call and set something up for you.”

I nod and smile. “Thank you.”

Dad stops as he walks around the table and places his hand on my shoulder. “You’re my baby girl, darling. I’ll do anything to protect you.”

The smile on his face seems genuine and while I know my father loves me and wants the best for me, I’m not sure we exactly agree on what that is.

Mom blots the corners of her mouth with her napkin. “Aubrey, honey, since you’re here I wondered if you’d accompany me to find a new dress for Larry and Dee Hanigan’s anniversary party at the club this weekend. Maybe we can pick one up for you as well. They’d love to see you.”

“I’m really not sure how long I’ll be in town,” I answer, trying to get out of what I know will be a boring party for my parents’ friends. “We should really be getting back to the hotel.”

“It’s only six, surely you don’t have to rush off so soon?” There’s almost a pout in her voice.

“Mom...Zach’s here and it would be impolite to leave him alone.”

Before I can further express all the reasons I can’t go, Zach speaks up, “It’s fine, Aubrey. I can hang out here for a couple of hours while you spend time with your mother. I have my laptop out in the car. I’ll grab it and handle some band stuff while you’re gone.”

I study his face to see if he really means it or not. Maybe he wants a little break from me for a while or something. “If you really want me to go, I’ll go.”

He slides his hand up my thigh, and the urge to jump his bones comes to mind. “It’s fine. We have all night to hang out.”

I don’t miss the hint in his subtle words and it makes my pulse race to an embarrassing level, knowing I have eyes directed on me from across the table. “If you’re sure it’s okay.”

I silently pray that he changes his mind and decides to take me back to the hotel. I drag my nails over the back of his hand and his eyes hood a little.

He blinks slowly and sighs. “I’ll be fine. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good then, it’s all set. I’ll go grab my purse and we’ll head out.” Mom’s delighted voice snaps me out of the dazed stupor Zach and his sexiness put me in.

The moment we’re alone in the dinning room Zach grabs my face and crushes his lips against mine. “Don’t be gone long.”

I trace his bottom lip with my tongue. “Now, I’m definitely tempted to tell her I’m not going.”

His face lights up with a crooked grin as he sucks on his lip ring. “As much as I would love that, you can’t. She’d be disappointed now.”

“What about you?” I can hear the whine in my voice.

“I’ll be fine. It’ll be good to check in with the guys and see what’s going on. Besides, I’ve neglected my fan page lately. I really should get on that.”

“Don’t go and text random women who message you.” I’m kidding...well mostly, anyway.

Zach laughs and kisses me softly. “You’re the only fan I want dirty messages from now.”

My face heats up as I recall how our relationship began with a string of texts promising hot sex. “Good to know.”

After a couple more kisses, I grab a post-it note and pen from the kitchen to write the Wi-Fi information down for him, and promise not to be gone more than a couple hours. He just grins and encourages me to spend time with my mother, reminding me how sometimes life is too short so I should spend all the time I can with her.

My heart sinks a little knowing what he’s been through with his sister and his mother. I need to suck it up, take his advice, and make the best out of buying a stuffy dress.

Chapter 4

ZACH

Seven hundred and thirty-seven messages? Holy fuck. That’s what I get for not keeping up with this fan site. This is going to take me a month to sort through. I lean back on the brown leather sofa and close my eyes, completely overwhelmed with the amount of work to do. I’m tempted to say fuck it and take a nap instead, but I know that’s not fair to the fans. This is their outlet for their passion about my work. How can I ignore that?

I take a deep breath, grab a snack pack of Oreos from my bag and then get to work. It’s a painstakingly long process, but to see their giddy responses when they realize I’ve replied personally make it all worth it. Before Aubrey, this was the place I came to feel love. My fans poured it out to me unconditionally and I soaked it up. That’s actually why I started bagging so many groupies. There’s nothing like being someone’s everything.

“You got a minute, son?” I glance up from the computer screen to find the Judge leaning against the doorframe into this impressive den. “There’s something I would like to discuss with you.”

I glance down at the clock on my computer. Damn. I’ve been answering messages for an hour and a half and didn’t even realize it. Aubrey should be back soon, but I wonder why her father wants to talk to me without her present.

Fuck. This can’t be a good sign.

I swallow hard. “Sure.”

I stand and follow Judge down a short hall into an office. There’s a very classic look in here, with chocolate walls, cherry bookcases and a matching desk. There’s even a bottle of Scotch, accompanied by four glasses, sitting on a side table.

The Judge’s eyes follow my line of sight. “You want a drink?”

This is probably some sort of test on his part. If I accept the drink, he’ll automatically think I’m a partying alcoholic, but if I refuse, he’ll think I’m lying.

“Sure,” I answer, but don’t plan on drinking the entire thing.

He walks over and removes the glass cork from the Scotch, pouring two glasses half-full. After handing me a glass, he walks around his desk and sits in the high-back chair. His eyes study me intently as we sit in silence, staring at one another.

Judge sits the glass on his desk and leans forward in his chair. “I’m not a man to beat around the bush about things, Zach. I’m very direct, and I don’t keep what I want secret. If more people were like me, the world would be a better place. We would all know where we stand with one another.”

This sounds like the intro to a speech about him not liking me very much. Instead of starting an argument with the father of the woman I love, I simply nod my head like I’m in total agreement. I could be wrong about him, after all. I barely know the man. “I like directness.”

“Good, because I’m about to lay it all out for you.”

Oh fuck.

“Why are you dating my daughter?”

That’s an easy answer. “Because I love her.” There’s no waiver whatsoever in my voice as I speak my truth.

He stares at me a long moment before he continues. “I can see that you believe that, but I know your type—the here today and gone tomorrow guys. I have to be honest with you, Zach. I don’t want that for my little girl. She’s too good for that. She deserves a man that’s stable and isn’t going anywhere.”

I flinch, but understand his reservations. My past isn’t a favorable one. “I can assure you when it comes to your daughter, sir, I’m not going anywhere.”

He sighs. “I was afraid you’d be stubborn about this. You leave me no choice.”

He slides a print out of some sort towards me. “What’s this?”

“Your sealed record.”

My eyes grow wide as they scan the record of my historical brushes with the law. “How did you get this?”

He frowns. “I’m a judge, son. I can get access to anything.”

“But, why do you have it? Aubrey already knows about all this. You telling her won’t stop her from being with me.”

He nods in agreement. “That’s true, but the press would have a field day with something like this, wouldn’t they? It’d be a shame if this was leaked somehow.”

I shoot up from my seat, sloshing my drink around before I slam the glass down on his desk. “Are you threatening me?”

His eyes grow wide for a second and I can tell for a split second I’ve rattled his tough exterior. “Calm down. This could be a threat, but I would prefer to think of it more as a bargaining tool.”

“What do you mean—a bargaining tool? What do you possibly stand to gain by smearing me across the press?”

“My daughter.”

I shake my head. “She wouldn’t leave me over that.”

“No, probably not. My daughter is fiercely loyal—gets that from me, so she’ll stick by your side. That’s why you’re going to leave her.”

“No! There’s no way in hell I’m going to leave her. She’ll understand.”

“She may, but I took the liberty of pulling the other band members’ histories as well. Trip Douglas appears to have some dirty secrets too. I don’t think Trip would appreciate his secrets being shared with the media, or being made public. If you don’t walk away from Aubrey, then you’re going to force my hand. I’ll tear your band apart.”

My pulse races under my skin, causing my hands to shake. Was I really such a bastard this man would ruin the lives of other people to keep me away from his daughter? Can’t he see I’m a changed man? I fucking worship the ground Aubrey walks on. I’d never hurt her. Why would he try to stop a love so pure?

“Why? Why would you do this? I told you I love her. Isn’t that enough?”

“No. It’s not. I want her with a man who I know will always take care of her. I’m not getting any younger, and I don’t want to leave this earth with the fate of my daughter in the hands of some young punk who’ll ruin her life at some point.”

“I won’t do that. I have more than enough money to give her an even better lifestyle than this place if she wants it!”

“For now you do. What happens in ten years from now when your band breaks up and the money stops? What then? You going to drag her down with you?”

His words feel like a fucking smack to the face. He’s right. I have no other skills. None. Music is everything to me. I’ll never stop doing it, even if I don’t make another penny for it. It’s in my blood. I can’t give it up.

The other thing that kills me is the fact that he’s right. While Black Falcon is on top of the fucking world right now, I know that won’t last forever. There’s always another fame-hungry band ready to out-rock you and steal your fans. God knows we’ve taken enough breaks and cancelled enough shows to leave half our fans pissed off. What happens when I can no longer give Aubrey the life she deserves?

“I’m going to take your silence as confirmation that it’s sinking in? You and I both know she’s not the girl for you. She needs to be with someone like Brady—a guy with his head on straight, and a solid future. You shouldn’t be selfish and stop that from happening for her.”

I pull my eyes up from the floor and stare at him. I have no doubt he’d smear both me and Trip to the press if given a chance. While we know about each others pasts and have moved on, it doesn’t mean the rest of the world will.

I sink my head into my hands. As much as I love Aubrey, I don’t want to be the one to hurt her someday. I don’t want her to resent me. She deserves the best life she can possibly have—the nice house, a husband home every night, kids.

God. Kids.

The last part stings the most. I’ve never let the fact that I can’t have kids bother me before, but knowing I can never give her something like that fucking kills me.

The thought of Aubrey pregnant, with a soft glow, smiling as she carries my baby inside her taunts me like a nightmare—one that, no matter how much money I have, will never be fixed.

I sigh, knowing that deep-down I’m still a fucked-up loser who doesn’t deserve my red-headed goddess. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you out of her life. For good.”

“I can’t just leave her here. She’d expect an explanation, and I don’t want her to know what an evil dick you are. It would ruin her whole perception of you.”

He laughs bitterly. “Very well. Finish out the weekend here, and on Monday I want you on the first plane out of Texas and forget she doesn’t exist.”

My lips pull into a tight line. “I might be on a plane, but you’ll never make me forget her.”

I don’t give him a chance to say anything else before I storm out of the room, grab my computer and head for the car. I can’t stay here one more second and listen to him tell me that he’s ripping the one thing I care about in this world away from me.

I toss my shit on the passenger seat and crank the car alive, nearly squealing the tires as I back pull out onto the street.

I rub my forehead vigorously as I come to a red light. “FUCK!”

My entire body shakes as it hits me that once again I’ve lost everything that’s important to me. The light turns green just as my eyes burn and tears stream down my face.

Anger wells inside me, and I pound the steering wheel with my hands. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!” I scream at the top of my lungs.

How is this happening? This isn’t what’s supposed to happen. It’s me and Aubrey against the world. I should go back and tell him to go ahead and tell the fucking world I killed my family. It wouldn’t matter if he did. I’m nothing without her anyway.

I slam on my breaks ready to turn around and the car behind me blares its horn, pulling me back to reality. I can’t go back. That would make me a selfish prick, just like the Judge says. I’d destroy Trip, probably royally fuck the band, and never allow Aubrey the chance to have a baby.

I take a deep breath and mash the gas. I can’t be here anymore. If I can’t have her, I can’t see her. I won’t be able to play it off that everything is fine. She’ll know. She’ll see how fucked up I am.

I park the Fusion in the hotel lot and head to my room. I let myself in and stare at the rumpled sheets on the bed, picturing her naked body laying there, begging me to take her. My chest constricts and suddenly I find it hard to breathe. I crawl into bed and bunch the sheets up in my arms, burying my nose in the soft cotton as I inhale her scent.

“I’ll always fucking love you,” I whisper, doing my best to picture Aubrey in my arms.

The next thing I know someone’s pounding on the door. I shake my head and stare down at the sheets and pray the last few hours of my life was a fucking nightmare. I drag myself out of bed and yank the door open.

Aubrey’s face twists the moment she sees me. “Really, Zach? You couldn’t wait on me?”

I sigh and close the door behind her. I’m a fucking idiot to think I wouldn’t have to see her again. All her shit’s here. “I’m sorry alright. I was tried and you were taking forever.”

“I was only gone two and a half hours. I thought you were okay with waiting. If you didn’t want me to go, all you had to do was say so.” She crosses her arms over her chest and waits for me to apologize.

More than anything I want to. I want to tell her I’m sorry for thinking I could have her—that I’m worthy of her. But as I stare into her eyes, all I feel is shame for the hurt I know I’m going to cause her soon.

She frowns and closes the distance between us so she can touch my face. “What’s wrong?”

I glance over at the bed and lick the corner of my mouth, fighting the sting in my eyes. I can’t let her see me break. “Nothing. Just tired.”

“Did something happen while I was gone?” There’s a slight inflection in her voice. “The Judge trying to scare you off? Because if he is, don’t let him. No matter what it is—I won’t care. I love you.”

I open my mouth to tell her exactly what her father is trying to pull, but quickly close it. I don’t want to be the reason she never speaks to her family. God knows I wish I still had a family to be close to.

I close my eyes and lean my forehead against hers. Can I really give this up?

“Zach, you’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

Shit, this isn’t going well. I need a distraction. If I keep on thinking about this I’m going to drive myself insane.

Without warning I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my chest and kiss her like it’s the last time I’ll ever get to taste these lips. Her eyebrows rise for a second, but she quickly relaxes into me and grabs my neck. I hate keeping shit from her. I want to be honest, but I can’t. I have to keep this shit to myself and figure out how in the hell I can make all this go away and still keep her. I’m not ready to let this go, not by a long shot.

Chapter 5

AUBREY

This kiss feels different. It’s almost desperate, like he’s clinging to me for some reason. I wish he would tell me what’s wrong. If I had to guess I would say my father has gotten to him—pushed his buttons in some way and that scares me. We’ve struggled so much to get to this good place, and I don’t need someone interfering and putting crazy ideas in his head.

Zach’s nose skims my cheek before he nips on my earlobe. “I need to be inside you. I need to feel you.”

The dress I’m wearing falls to the floor before I have time to ask him any more questions. All I feel is his warm mouth on my neck, licking and teasing the sensitive skin below my ear. If he wants a distraction, I’ll give him the best damn one he’s ever had.

My hands slip under the hem of his shirt and I push it up, ready to feel his skin against me. He grabs the back of shirt and drags it over his head in the sexy way that men do. The defined muscles in his chest clench under my touch. His sister’s name, Hailey, etched into the flesh above his heart makes my heart squeeze thinking about what he’s been through in his life. I lean in and kiss the tattoo before going down further and swirling my tongue around his taut nipple. I take my time grazing my teeth against it, teasing him before dropping to my knees.

After I make quick work of getting his jeans down around his hips, I tease the tip of his length with my mouth before going straight for the kill. My gag reflex kicks in when his head touches the back of my throat.

Zach tangles his fingers in my hair. “Jesus, fucking, Christ. You keep that up and I’ll come down that pretty throat of yours.”

Knowing I make him feel so good pushes me to keep this up. I pick up the rhythm and I cup his balls. He emits a low growl and I know he won’t be able to hold back much long if I don’t stop.

I stare up at his hooded eyes. “I want you to fuck me now.”

The tip of his tongue flicks across his bottom lip. “Bend your sexy ass over the bed.” A thrill shoots through me as I comply with his demand. Zach unhooks my bra, slides it over my shoulders and it falls in front of me on the bed. The distinct rustling behind me of Zach throwing his jeans and underwear to the floor causes me to start to turn around. “Don’t move. Your ass looks delicious like that.”

Before I can argue any further, Zach drops to his knees behind me and sinks his teeth into my panty-covered ass. I cry out from the wicked combination of pleasure and pain. This is what makes sex with him amazing—he’s always doing shit I don’t expect.

One hand grips my thigh while the other presses against my soaked panties and my entire body shakes. “Always begging for it, aren’t ya?”

“Only from you,” I manage to say with a straggled voice.

A quick slap on my ass makes me jump. I wasn’t quite ready for it, and it startles me a bit, but at the same time I want more. “Mmmm.”

He chuckles darkly. “My little naughty girl.” He raises and leans himself over my back, pressing his rock-hard cock against my ass, so he can whisper in my ear. “You want me inside that pussy?”

I suck in a quick breath as he slides my panties aside and runs his finger down my wet folds. “Yesssss.”

“Then tell me, Kitten. Does this pussy belong to me?” Of course. What would even make him question that at this stage of our relationship? “Tell me, baby. Tell me this is my fucking pussy. I want to hear you say it. I want to know you’re mine. All mine. That this will always be mine.”

I try to process what exactly he wants from me and why he suddenly needs to stake his claim on me. This extreme possessiveness is new. Before I have a chance to answer his finger slips inside me. “Oh, God.”

“You want more of that?” he whispers roughly. “Say it and I’ll fuck the hell out of that sweet little pussy for you.”

Every inch of me quivers with need for him. I’ll say anything he wants as long as he takes me now. “It’s yours. It’s always been yours.”

“Damn straight,” he growls and rips my panties completely off. “Don’t forget it, either. No matter where I am or what happens between us, your body belongs to me.”

He spreads my legs further apart and smacks my wet folds with his fingers—not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to make me moan like I’m in heat. I’m pretty sure if we have any neighbors they know I’m about to get my brains fucked out.

All of his fingertips rub in a circular motion around my clit, but never touches it directly, robbing me of the pleasure I need. I arch my back, trying to push him into touching my sweet spot, and I’m met with another little slap. “Always so greedy. I want to take you to the edge and keep you there in sweet agony. The moment I do finally allow you to come, I want you to remember it’s only me who makes you feel this good.”

I growl a little in frustration, loving yet hating this game as his cock slides against my pussy. I close my eyes and bite my lip when the tip of him hits my clit. It’s a deliciously slow pace. A small bead of sweat forms on my upper lip. The salty taste falls to my tongue when I lick my dry lips. All this panting is revving me up even more.

If he keeps this up I might be forced to throw him down on this bed and take matters into my own hands.

“I feel how much you want this. Your need is covering my cock. You’re so ready for me, aren’t you?” His hot breath covers my cheek and I shiver. “I’m dying to be inside you. Balls deep in you, babe, is my favorite fucking place on earth. It’s just as hard for me to hold back.”

“Please, Zach,” I plead. I’m so fucking turned on by him I can’t see straight. Typically we get right to it—we’re both very much instant gratification people.

His mouth covers my shoulder as he continues to tease me. “Please what, baby?”

“Please fuck me,” I answer honestly.

He moves to the other shoulder, tasting my skin along the way. “Please fuck what?”

I throw my head back and shudder when his tip touches my swollen clit. This is still about making sure I remember I’m his. He still wants to hear me say every part of me belongs to him. “Please fuck your pussy.”

He growls and lightly bites my shoulder, sliding his cock into me. “That’s what I fucking want to hear.”

I cry out, screaming his name followed by a yes, as he finally starts giving me what I so desperately need. “You feel so good.”

“That’s because we’re meant to be. This body was made for me.” His thrusts pick up speed.

My sex clenches around him greedily, trying to hold him deep inside. I can’t take much more. “Zach, I—”

“I know what you need, baby. We’re going to do this together. Hang on.” He grips my hips tighter and begins to pound into me. “Fuck.”

Zach grabs my hair and then twists, wrapping it around his wrist. My head pulls back just as he reaches between my legs and flicks my clit. “Oh, God. Zach.” The words no sooner leave my lips as every inch of me fills with warmth. A euphoric orgasm washes over me, at the same time Zach growls my name as he finds his own release.

He lays his chest against my back. “I fucking love you. I’m not going anywhere,” he mumbles with his lips pressed to my skin.

I turn towards him and touch his face, completely confused on why he feels like there’s a problem between us. “Who said anything about either of us going anywhere?”

His green eyes meet mine and he shakes his head. “No one. Forget I even said that. It was the post-sex haze talking. You make me lose my mind.”

I smile at him because I know exactly what he means.

The ringtone on my cell phone pulls me out of a deep sleep. I roll over and look at the clock on the bedside table. Who the hell is calling me at seven thirty in the morning?

I grab my phone to check out the screen. I sigh and swipe the answer button. This could be important. “Hello, Judge.”

“Good morning, honey. Sorry to call you so early, but this just couldn’t wait. I spoke with Brady this morning and he’s willing to take on your case.” My father’s voice is just too damn chipper for this early in the morning.

“That’s great. When can we go see him?” I sit up in bed and rub my eyes.

“We? Wouldn’t you rather handle this matter alone?”

I furrow my brow. What a ridiculous thing to say. Zach came with me down here. Of course I want to involve him. “No. Zach and I have no secrets.”

The Judge clears his throat. “Well you see, darlin’, I told Brady that you’d be meeting him for lunch. He said he’d make reservations for the two of you at that little French place the two of you used to go to when you dated. Wouldn’t be fair to him to bring along another man to that place, would it?”

“Daddy,” I scold him. “Brady would be my attorney, handling a legal matter for me. This wouldn’t be a date. Where would he even get the idea that it might be?”

He’s quiet for a few moments. “I might’ve encouraged the idea a little, but that was only to get him to take your case.”

Unbelievable! I shake my head and stare up at the ceiling. “He would’ve taken the case anyway and you know it.”

“You’re right. I just figured maybe you could use a little...space, is all.”

He just doesn’t get it. I know Zach isn’t the kind of man he’d choose for me, but he needs to know I’m serious about him—that we’re solid. “Where I go, Zach goes. I don’t need any space.”

He sighs. “Maybe you don’t, but I’ve got to say the boy seemed like he wanted a little space from you yesterday when we chatted.”

My heart squeezes in my chest as I stare down at my beautiful boyfriend sleeping beside me. He wanted space? “He said that?”

“Not directly, no. He didn’t have to. A man like that doesn’t settle down long. They’re wild and the call to roam and stray always tugs at them. Maybe it’s best to create some space between you the two of you now to avoid the heartache later. I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore. Your momma can’t take it—tears her up every time you call crying.”

I rub my forehead. What the hell is going on? Is that why Zach didn’t wait on me yesterday? Does he seriously want me to give him a break? Have I been too blind to see any signs that my man’s unhappy?

Maybe I shouldn’t force him to go see Brady with me. Maybe Daddy’s right.

“What time does he want to meet?” I ask.

“He’ll be at the hotel to pick you up around eleven thirty.”

I nod and readjust my back against the pillow. “I’ll be ready.”

“Good girl. He’ll have some great advice for you. Brady’s smart and I trust him like he’s my own son. He’ll point you in the right direction. I have no doubt.” I roll my eyes, catching the subtleties of how much my father likes my old boyfriend.

“Okay, thanks. I’ll call you later and let you know how it goes,” I say just before we say our goodbyes and make plans to meet for dinner later that evening.

I stay in bed running through what my father said. Now that I’ve had time to process everything, I think my father’s full of shit. There’s no way Zach’s tired of me already. He wouldn’t have come here with me. He’s too straightforward for that.

Zach stirs next to me and rolls over to towards me. He opens one eye and peeks up at me. “You’re awake already?”

I study his handsome face and nod. “I’ve been up for over an hour now.”

He wraps his arm around my waist and closes his eye. “What for? Can’t sleep? I get that way in some hotel beds too, but this one is pretty comfortable.”

I shake my head. “Been up thinking.”

“’Bout what?” He snuggles into my side.

“About you leaving me.” His body goes rigid next to me.

“What makes you think that would happen? Didn’t I make that pretty clear last night that you’re mine?” His tone sounds a little annoyed.

Things still don’t make sense. Something else is missing. Something both Zach and my father are keeping from me. “You did, but my father’s under the impression that you might not be sticking around. Care to tell me what went on between the two of you while I was gone?”

He lets out a heavy breath against his pillow. “Nothing went on, babe. Your father just doesn’t like me very much.”

I rest my hands on the arm that’s around my waist. “So the impression I just got from my father that you’re ready to leave me to run off and fuck a slew of groupies. Is that the truth or just his wishful thinking talking?”

“Babe, I’m too selfish a man to leave you, even if it’s the right thing to do. I’m fucking addicted to you and there’s nothing anybody can do that would make me give this up. I’ve decided.”

I slide back down under the covers and snuggle into my man’s arms. Instantly, I feel silly for even considering the idea that he’s unhappy. We’re obviously still solid. Guess I’m going to have to have a chat with the Judge about trying to interfere with that.

Chapter 6

Zach

––––––––

I’ve decided Aubrey Jenson is my fucking kryptonite. The smart thing would be to take The Judge’s warning seriously and leave the girl the fuck alone, but I can’t do that. Last night only reminded me how much I fucking love this woman. She’s mine and no one is taking her away from me. I don’t give a fuck what the cost is to keep her. Trip’s just going to have to deal if his shit blows up—just like I will.

I lay on the bed and watch Aubrey pull a brush through her thick, red hair as she gets ready to go and meet with Brady. I want to hate the guy since I know he’s the first man to ever have tasted of her sweetness, but I can’t—not if he’s going to help her get back the job she wants so desperately.

I am curious about him though. “So what’s this dude that we’re meeting like?”

Aubrey stares into the mirror. “He’s a nice guy. Cocky, but generally a nice guy.”

A nice, cocky guy? That’s the equivalent of the high school quarterback type with a lot of money—a douchebag in my book. I’ll probably want to kick his ass in the first five minutes.

I clear my throat. “If he was so nice, why’d you break up?”

She sighs as she opens her lip gloss. “He’s older than me. I was still in high school when he was in his junior year of college. There was just too much of an age difference to stay together back then. We were at different points in our lives.”

I raise my eyebrows. If this fucker had better things to do than to keep a beautiful woman like Aubrey on the back burner back then, I don’t want him trying to take care of her now. I’m worried he’s not worthy to be the one to get her what she wants. This woman is my world and I’ll do anything to make sure she’s happy. “Maybe we should reconsider hiring him.”

She glances over at me with a smirk, expecting I have a smart-ass remark to follow that. She knows me so well. “Why’s that?”

I shove myself off the bed and move into the bathroom to stand behind her. I grip her slender upper arms with my hands. “Because the asshole must be crazy if he let you go.” I lean in and kiss her cheek. “How smart can he really be?”

Kitten smiles. “Smart enough to know he was never going to be man enough for me.”

I smirk. “That’s right. You have a thing for the bad boys.”

She turns in my arms and places her hand over my heart. “Only bad boys with hearts made of gold.”

There it is again—her believing the best of me. I wish I could believe her—that deep down I’m a noble man, but only hours ago I was willing to walk out on her for my own selfish reasons. Granted, I’m still not happy about The Judge dragging Trip into this fucking mess, but I figure the only reason he did that was because he knew I would tell him I didn’t give a fuck if the world knew about my history. I don’t give a shit what people think of me. I only care about her. Aubrey is my world now, and damn it, I’m keeping her—no matter what.

Aubrey taps my forehead with her index finger. “Whatever you’ve got going on in that crazy brain of yours, don’t doubt you’re a good man.”

I sigh and stare into her green eyes before I cup her face in my hands. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

She drums her fingers against my chest. “You gave me this.”

I press my lips to hers and get lost in how much she means to me. Like always, I’m turned on by her slightest touch. “I’d like to give you a whole lot more if we had the time. It’s a good thing our ride will be here any minute, or otherwise you’d already be naked and beneath me begging for me to be inside you.”

Her breath comes out in ragged spurts and I know she wants it, just as much as I want to give it to her.

Almost as if on cue her ringtone goes off, filling the silence in the bathroom.

She leans her forehead against mine. “That’s probably him now.”

My hands fall to her waist. “Are sure you don’t want to reconsider staying here with me? Like I told you before, you don’t have to work. I’ll take care of you.”

She shakes her head as she picks up her phone and swipes the answer button. “Hello?”

I sigh and kiss her neck, trying my best to distract her.

“Hi, Brady. I know. It has been forever...we’re ready...oh, I’m sorry, my father probably forgot to tell you. My boyfriend’s here with me...okay, we’ll be down in five minutes.” She ends her calls and pushes me back a little. “Do you know how hard it is to have a conversation when you’re licking me like that?”

I grin. “Probably about as hard as it is for me to keep myself from throwing you down on that bed and not letting you out of this room.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re impossible. He’s downstairs waiting for us.”

I push her auburn hair over her shoulder. “Well, let’s go if we have to. The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get back.”

I wiggle my eyebrows at her and she laughs. God, I’d do anything to hear her laugh like that all the time.

We make our way outside the hotel’s front door to find a white Audi R8. I study the car’s smooth flowing body-work and let out a low whistle. “This is a nice car.”

“It’s really pretty,” Aubrey says.

“Pretty? This thing is a V10, babe. There’s nothing pretty about this thing, it’s a bad-ass beast. Calling it pretty insults it,” I say.

She shrugs. “It’s just a car.”

I’m pretty sure my ears are bleeding. I can’t believe she called this fine piece of workmanship just a car. Being a man into speed, I know my cars. Most men would give their left nut for this. “Kitten, this is a dream car. I’m sure some spoiled shit-stain owns it and babies the fuck out of it. What a waste.”

Before I have a chance to say anything else, the passenger door pops open and a man gets out.

“Brady!” Aubrey’s voice holds a little too much excitement for my liking. “Wow! Look at you.”

The man smiles at her and removes the dark sunglasses from his face, before shoving his brown hair away from his forehead. His eyes lock on my girlfriend and his gaze travels down the length of her body, lasting a little too long on her tits. My fingers curl into tight fists at my side. “Aubrey? Oh, my God. Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes? You’ve grown up well.”

This is going to be even worse than I thought. This is a well-off, pretty-boy douchebag—just the kind of man The Judge wants his daughter to be with.

Kitten rushes around me to greet Brady the moment he steps around the car and his feet land on the sidewalk. I know I said I wasn’t going to be jealous, but damn if I don’t feel a little twinge of it eating at me inside. When I see them hug, I instantly want to pull them apart, and punch him in the face.

I’m so lost in thought I don’t even hear Aubrey introduce me. I’m brought back to reality when Brady extends his right hand to me. “I’m Brady. It’s good to meet you, man.”

Our hands clap together. “What’s up? I’m Riff.”

Aubrey raises her eyebrow at me, and I know it’s because I introduced myself with my stage name. She and her family call me by my birth name, but I would prefer the general population stick to the other. Aubrey and her parents calling me Zach reminds me to keep things real with them.

Brady stares down at Aubrey. “You ready to go? We have a reservation in fifteen minutes.”

“Sure,” she says. “I’ll sit in the back.”

Both Brady and I stare at the sports car in front of us.

“Babe, this car doesn’t have a back seat,” I tell her.

She twists her berry-stained lips. “How are we all going to ride over to the restaurant? Can we follow you, Brady?”

Brady scratches his temple. “That’s the other thing. I only made the reservation for two and it’s lunch time, so I’m not sure if they’ll be able to accommodate a third person. I wish your father would’ve told me you’d be bringing a guest.”

Immediately I feel like I’m imposing. While I’m sure Aubrey would love for me to go with her, I’m sure she can handle this on her own. I trust her, it’s this fucking pretty boy that I have an issue with. He can’t keep his fucking eyes off her. I know that look of wanting to stick your cock inside a woman. I’ve perfected that fucking look.

I sigh and fold my arms across my chest. Brady’s wide eyes trace the patterns of my ink, and I can tell it makes him a little uncomfortable. I smirk. “You two go on ahead, babe. I’m sure you can take notes and fill me in on the game plan when you get back.”

Kitten places her dainty fingers on my arm. “Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you out. We can always go somewhere else.”

I shake my head. “I’ll be fine. We’re only talking an hour or so tops. I’ll find something close to eat and wait over at your parents’ house, okay?”

She frowns. “I feel like shit for leaving you out.”

I lean in and kiss her forehead. “I trust you.”

She smiles and promises not to be too long, as Brady opens the passenger door for her. The moment he shuts her inside the car and turns toward me, the smile drops off my face. Brady’s eyes widen as he takes in my curled lip. He races around the car—nearly tripping off the sidewalk in the process—to get the hell away from me.

I should feel bad for scaring the guy, but I want him to know not to fuck with something that’s mine.

He speeds off a little faster than I approve of, which is probably my fault. Both of my arms drop to my side as I head out to the parking lot. I know she doesn’t need me for everything, but I still like to be there for her. The rental car pulls out smoothly onto the busy street and I turn into a local fast-food Drive-Thru to order some food. My cell phone buzzes as I sit in line.

“Fuck,” I mutter to myself as I check the caller ID. So much for him leaving me the hell alone. I hope to God he isn’t calling for more money. Two million dollars should’ve lasted him longer than a couple weeks.

On the third ring I take a deep breath and answer. “What?”

“Hello, I’m trying to reach Thurston Oliver’s next of kin,” a strange man’s voice says on the other end of the line. “The contact on his phone says ‘son’, but doesn’t give a name. I’m hoping you’re the son of Mr. Oliver.”

I stiffen in my seat. “Yes, I’m his son.”

“For the record could you tell me your name?” This dude sounds very formal. No way he’s a bookie or something.

I clear my throat to keep it from closing completely shut. “Zach Oliver.”

There’s some paper rustling around on the other end. “Mr. Oliver, I’m Officer McCurry. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but at ten thirty-two this morning the hotel maid here at the Hard Rock found your father deceased in his hotel room. By all indication he’s been dead for a few days. When was the last time you spoke to your father?”

Even though I hated the bastard, my insides crumble. The only family I have in the world is gone. Any connection I had to my past is gone...just like my family. Gone.

A silent tear leaks down my cheek and I bat it away. “It’s been a few weeks since I’ve talked to him.”

“Do you think you can come identify his body? We’ll need to send him out for an autopsy to confirm the cause of death, but by the looks of his room it appears to have been an overdose,” the cop informs me.

Stupid asshole. Why would Dad start messing with drugs and shit? Didn’t he learn anything when he was dealing with me and my addiction back in high school?

I lean my head back against the seat. This is partly my fault for trying to pay him off. The least I could do is go out there and ID the body and bring him back to be buried beside Mom and Hailey. “I’ll get a flight out as soon as I can.”

“Great. Stop by the Las Vegas Police Department and ask for me when you get here.”

I nod, even though I know he can’t see me. “All right.”

The moment the phone call ends, a horn blares behind me. I pull around and get out of line, suddenly not hungry any more. I dial Aubrey’s cell but it goes to her voicemail.

Shit. I need to find her.

I find myself on her parents’ street. The Judge knows where she is. I’ll ask him how to get to the restaurant.

The front brakes squeal a little when I jerk the car to a stop in the driveway. I leap from the car and make it to the heavy, wooden door in record time. My fist stings as it beats against the door.

A few seconds later the housekeeper, Anna opens the door. “Mr. Oliver, is everything all right?”

It’s then I notice how hard I’m breathing and it’s taking everything in me not to come across as a total nut-job. “The Judge here?” Anna furrows her brow and nods. I can tell when she takes a step back she isn’t sure if she should let me in. I want to reassure her I’m not here to cause any trouble so I smile at her. “Thank you.”

Without even knowing why, I instantly head back to the office where The Judge threatened me last night and burst through the door.

The Judge glances up from the stack of papers on his desk and jerks his glasses off his face. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Tell me where Aubrey is,” I demand without further explanation.

He pushes himself up and stares me down with his gray eyes. “I’ll do no such thing. I thought we had an understanding last night, son. You’re going to let her move on. Why on earth would I tell you where she is so you can barge in there like a maniac and ruin things for her? I won’t allow you to scare Brady off.”

“Too late for that. I already made sure that uptight fucker knows Aubrey is my girl. No way he’ll have the balls to make a move on her now. So tell me where she is!” I feel my body shake as adrenaline courses through my entire body. If he’s smart, he won’t push me right now.

Her father studies my face. “You aren’t going to be as easy to get rid of as I thought, are you?”

I shake my head. “I’m not going anywhere, so you might as well learn to deal now.”

His body stiffens and he crosses his arms. “I don’t have to learn to deal with anything. Now, I suggest you walk your ass out of my office before I call the police.”

“Tell me—” I stop mid-sentence as he picks up the phone. The police coming here after I’ve made a scene won’t be a good thing. It’s bad enough that the press will probably catch wind of my father’s overdose, so I don’t need to add fuel to the fucking fire. “Fine. I’ll drive around until I find her on my own.”

I turn and storm out of the room just as fast as I entered. I thread my fingers around the back of my head and growl in sheer frustration. My voice echoes through the large foyer, making me sound like some kind of rabid beast. More than anything I want to punch something hard. It takes every ounce of my strength not to turn march back in there and shove my fist in The Judge’s smug face.

I fling the front door open and once I’m outside, inhale deeply through my nostrils. “Fuck!”

“Yo, bro. Everything alright?” I jerk my head toward Gabe’s voice. He stands in his driveway with a sponge and bucket beside what I assume to be his car.

I shake my head. “I need to find Aubrey.”

He sets this bucket down. “She’s not with you?”

“No. She’s with Brady at some restaurant, and your father won’t tell me where to find them. I have to speak with her. It’s an emergency,” I say.

“Do you know which restaurant it is?”

I nod. “Some place they used to go to all the time in high school.”

Recognition registers on his face, and Gabe rubs his hands together, dusting them free of a few soap bubbles. “I haven’t started to wash her yet. Come on. I’ll show you how to get there.”

Finally I have someone willing to help me. Relief washes through me. “Thank you.”

Gabe nods curtly. “Let’s go.”

Once we’re a couple miles down the road, I allow my mind to wonder about my father and what his last few moments on this earth was like—if our family was the last thought he had. A familiar pang of guilt fills me as I allow the blame of his death to fall on my shoulders as well as my mother and sister’s.

I grip the steering wheel so tight my knuckles start turning white. Gabe glances over at my hands and then up to my face. “Everything okay, Riff? You seem tense. Did you and Aubrey have a fight?”

A sigh escapes me. It’s so fucking hard to talk about my family. Aubrey is the only person that’s got me to open up. That’s why I need her right now. I need her with me. I have to hang on to the last thing I have left in this world with both hands—to hell with the Judge. If wants to destroy me, let him fucking bring it.

I finally shake my head. “No. Aubrey and I are great. There’s just been a...death in the family. I need to leave right away.”

“Oh, man. I’m really sorry. Were you close to the person?” Gabe questions, genuine concern in his voice.

I swallow hard and feel it’s best to be honest as I can be with him. “Not really, but I’m the next of kin and I have to identify the body.”

“Ouch, that’s rough. Were they your uncle or something?”

I keep my eyes focused on the road in front of me and concentrate on keeping my emotions in check. “My father.”

I’m glad when Gabe doesn’t press me any more on the topic, and he continues directing me to the restaurant. “Pull in the valet station. It’s the only way to park in this city.”

I hop out and toss the valet the keys. “Leave it here and keep it running. I’m not staying.”

Soft piano music and the smell of fine Italian food waft through the air, while the over-dressed wait staff scurries about with trays of food. Jesus, this is where they hung out in high school? That shit-stain Brady must have a loaded family too.

I crane my neck around the hostess podium to get a good look at the dinning room. My eyes sweep the room, landing on the back of Kitten’s red hair. I take a couple of steps in her direction, but the tall, slender hostess with long dark hair steps in front of me. “Can I help you, sir? Do you have a reservation?”

There’s no way she’s stopping me from getting to my girl. “This will only take a second. I’m not staying.”

“I can’t let you go in there looking like that.” The woman rakes her eyes down my body with a sneer of disgust.

I glance down at the t-shirt and jeans I’m wearing and roll my eyes. “I said I’m not fucking staying, so move.”

I don’t stick around to argue with this chick. Nothing she says is going to stop me from walking the last ten feet before me to get to Aubrey.

“Sir...you can’t. Please, sir—” I hear the woman’s voice behind me fade into the distance. All that matters now is getting to my world.

Two seconds later I pause mid-step as I get close enough to see Brady’s hand resting on top of Kitten’s. Brady’s arm stretches across the table and he’s massaging the side of her hand with his thumb. My blood boils instantly. How the fuck can she do this to me? Doesn’t she know she’s my fucking world? How can she let that ass-wipe paw her like that?

We’ve been apart less than a fucking hour and she’s allowing this to happen? How am I going to trust her when I’m on the road for months on end? I can’t believe I was stupid enough to believe this relationship was fucking real.

I clench my fists by my side and step directly behind her. “Having a nice lunch?”

Aubrey’s gaze leaves Brady’s face as she whips her head in my direction. Her eyes widen, and she knows she’s been caught.

Chapter 7

AUBREY

The look in Zach’s eyes scares the shit out of me. It’s wild and unpredictable. A snarl pulls across his lips as he glares at my hand on the table. Instantly, things click.

I immediately shake my head. “No, no, no. It’s not what you think.”

His eyes cut to me. “You mean you weren’t holding your fucking ex’s hand in the middle of some goddamn fucking fancy restaurant.”

The curse words spewing from Zach’s lips cause an old lady at the table beside ours to gasp and grab her chest, while a mother with her small son on the other side covers the kid’s ears. A couple of the wait staff stop mid-stride and stare in our direction.

This is about to escalate really fast. When Zach’s pissed his emotions completely take over, and he goes into a physical rage. The broken furniture in my apartment can attest to that.

I stand and face my man. “Let’s talk outside.”

He folds his arms over his chest. “You don’t want to bring your new boyfriend with you?”

I narrow my eyes. “He’s not my fucking boyfriend.”

Zach glares back at me and flexes his jaw. “Could’ve fooled me.”

My nostrils flare as I suck in a deep breath. “Outside. We need to talk.” I turn to Brady, who is still seated in his chair looking like a frightened squirrel. “Thank you for lunch and the advice on suing Center Stage, Brady. I would like to go ahead and start that process.”

Without saying another word I storm out through the restaurant. Tension rolls down my back as I feel the heat of the judgmental stares burning into my back until I make it out the front door. The rental car is sitting out front, the motor still running. Gabe’s face twists the moment he sees me. So that’s how Zach knew how to find me. I always knew he was a jealous man, but I never thought in a million years he wouldn’t trust me for even an hour and a half. I can’t believe he’s making such a big fucking deal about this. Brady was only showing me a little support as I poured my heart out to him, explaining that both of my parents hate my boyfriend and believe he’s no good for me.

I yank open the door and slide into the back seat, still fuming that Zach felt the need to act like a dick and embarrass me like that.

“What’s up, sis? You look pissed,” Gabe says turning around in his seat. “You okay?”

I roll my eyes. “I don’t get what his problem is. He stormed in there like a lunatic, and practically announced to the entire restaurant that I’m cheating on him with Brady. I don’t know where the hell he gets off.”

It feels good to vent to my brother. I need a neutral party in the situation.

Gabe’s face pulls into a lopsided frown. “The guy’s having a pretty hard time. His—”

Before Gabe is able to finish his sentence, Zach swings open the driver’s door and flops into the car. Daggers shoot from my eyes into the back of Zach’s head as he pulls onto the street and heads north to my parents’ place.

The entire ride is silent and I don’t like it. I want to scream and cuss at Zach for the way he just treated me back there, but having Gabe in the car with us stops me. I don’t need to drag my brother into the middle of my fights.

Over and over in my head I play out the scene of how our fight is going to go down. The moment he opens his mouth to yell at me for something I didn’t even do, I’m going off on his ass. He isn’t going to treat me like that.

We pull into my parents’ driveway and Gabe immediately gets out of the car and heads into the house. I stay in the back, ready for him to start—hopefully with an apology.

Zach sighs and rubs his hand over his face. “Get out.”

I flinch. “What did you just say to me?”

He turns to face me with hard eyes. “I said...GET. OUT.”

A gasp leaves my mouth and my bottom lip trembles. “Zach...”

He closes his eyes. “Aubrey, get the fuck out. I’m done with you. It was a mistake to think a relationship with you could ever work.”

A sob escapes me. “How can you say that to me?”

His eyes meet mine. “Because you’re just like the rest of the sluts I’ve ever been with. Always looking to trade up when you can.”

“It’s not what you think, please.” I hear the desperate plea in my own voice as I beg him to not do this. “Please don’t ruin us.”

“Do not make me physically throw you out of this car. I don’t want you.” I search his face for a sign, for anything to tell me this isn’t really him talking, but there’s nothing. The stone cold look in his eyes makes him appear dead inside.

I swallow hard as I open the door. My eyes automatically go to the ground when I step out and shut it behind me. I can’t believe this—over, just like that. He didn’t even care what I had to say. It was like he was a man possessed.

The tires on the Fusion squeal when they make contact with the asphalt and he drives out of my life. My entire body shakes and my knees buckle, causing me to fall into a puddle on the driveway.

Tears fall without warning as all the built-up emotion bursts out of me. My chest squeezes and I gasp for breathe. I can’t breath. I’m suffocating. I gasp for air but no relief comes. I’m dying, I know it.

Hands shake my shoulders and a paper bag is shoved against my mouth. “Breathe, Aubrey. You need to calm down.”

Gabe’s commanding tone takes me by surprise and I automatically obey him. I hold the bag around my lips and breathe into it. After a few seconds the pressure in my lungs eases up.

Gabe smiles down at me. “That’s a good. You’re going to be all right. Now, tell me what the fuck just happened.”

I shake my head and pull the bag away. “You’re going to make a great doctor.”

He pats my head. “Nice try, little sister. Flattery won’t get you out of telling me.”

I shrug. “Zach came into the restaurant at the worst possible moment. I was telling Brady all about the hard time The Judge has been giving Zach, and how Mom tried her damndest to talk me out of dating him when we went dress shopping.”

“Go on,” he insists.

“Brady sort of reached over and put his hand on top of mine and Zach saw it, flipped the fuck out in the restaurant and made a scene. I was mortified. Then we get here and he won’t talk to me—tells me to get out of the car and he’s done with me.” Another sobs comes. “And now we’re over.”

Gabe sits beside me on the ground and wraps me in a hug. “He didn’t mean it, I know he didn’t. It’s just the grief talking.”

I sniff and pull back to gaze up at his face. “Grief? He told you about his mom and sister?”

Gabe’s brow furrows. “No. He just found out his father died.”

My eyes widen. “What?”

“That’s why we were coming to find you. He needs to leave tonight to go identify the body.”

I swallow hard and things instantly start falling into place. I knew those horribly evil things he was saying couldn’t possibly be from the real him. That’s the kind of fucked up shit Riff would say, not my Zach.

He needs me. He came to find me in his biggest time of need and the first thing he saw was another man touching me. The thoughts in his brain can’t be rational right now.

I shove my self up off the concrete and dust my hands off. “Where are Dad’s car keys?”

Gabe stands beside me, concern etched into his face. “Do you think it’s wise to go chasing him down in your current state?”

“If I don’t go after him now, I might lose him forever. I love him and he needs me.” The thought of never seeing his beautiful face again scares the shit out of me.

My brother smiles. “You better go get him then. Dad’s keys are in the drawer in the kitchen.”

I grab my brother’s face and kiss his cheek before I sprint into the house. Most siblings fight like crazy, and while I’m not saying we don’t have our fair share of fights too, we get along like best friends who like to pick on one another. I’m grateful for that.

My parents look up from their lunch when I rush into the large black and white kitchen. I yank open the cabinet drawer that’s closest to the garage without saying a word to them. It’s partly their fault that this is all happening, so I don’t exactly feel the need to ask their permission before I grab the keys to my fathers Cadillac CTS-V. Both of my parents watch me as I allow the door to swing shut and I stalk towards the garage.

“Aubrey, honey, you mind telling us where you’re heading off to in such a panic?” the Judge asks from behind me, effectively stopping me in my tracks.

My lips pull into a tight line as I pivot on my heel. “If you must know I’m going to see Zach.”

My father puckers his lips. It’s the signature move he makes before he hammers out something that he believes to be factual truth. “I don’t think that’s wise. The boy’s no good for you, honey. I know you might not be able to see it now because you think so much with your heart and emotions, but someday, when you’re older, you’ll thank me for helping get rid of him.”

“You helped get rid of him? What the hell does that mean?” My words rush out, almost like a snarl.

“Language, Aubrey Jenson!” Mother scolds with a frown on her face.

Unbelievable! “Fuck my language, Mother. Some help you two are. You’re ruining my life, don’t you get that? If I lose Zach, my world is over.”

“I’m your father. It’s my job to protect you and look out for your future,” Dad says as he wrinkles his brow.

They still don’t get it. I better make this clear for them. “Zach is my future. You two either accept that or you won’t have to worry about seeing me again because I’m never letting him go.”

This time when I head for the door I don’t stop, no matter how loud they yell and order me to come back.

I hop into my Dad’s most prized possession and tear out of the garage the moment the doors open. Heading for the hotel, my brain replays everything that just went down in my parents’ kitchen. I know they’re pissed at me, but they’re going to have to get over it. I love Zach, and nothing is going to change that.

My thoughts drift to Zach and I pray that he’ll hear me out. I want him to see my side of the situation and understand that I did nothing to betray his trust—that he’s my everything.

I shake my head and sigh as I approach a traffic light. In need of a distraction, I reach down and flip on the radio and begin searching the stations for something decent to listen to. Two clicks away from my favorite station a horn blares, and my eyes snap back to the road in front of me. It’s not until it’s too late that I realize the light was red, but I barreled on through anyway. Something hits the car hard on my side and my head jerks right and then left before everything goes black.

Chapter 8

ZACH

I fling the last of my dirty clothes in the suitcase and zip it up. It’s strange to know that in a couple hours I’ll be leaving here without the girl I love and will never see her again. How stupid was I to believe what we had was real? I’ll never shake the image of another man touching her out of my head. I always knew I didn’t deserve happiness.

I scrub my hands over my face just as someone pounds on my hotel door. The only person that knows I’m here is Aubrey, but after the way I left her she’ll never come here. She probably hates me. The things I said were cruel and I wish I could take them back.

The entire situation in the restaurant got out of hand. When I saw Brady’s hand on hers, I flipped the fuck out. Images of rushing Brady and tackling him to the ground played over and over in my mind. It took everything in me not to do it. Poor bastard would’ve been leveled if he’d gotten me full force.

It probably wasn’t what I thought, but knowing that Aubrey’s father hated my guts coupled with the fact he was trying to take the only two things I still had left in this world—the band and Aubrey—flipped a switch inside me. Seeing Aubrey with Brady in that moment made me believe The Judge was right—she’s better off with someone else, and I still belong to Black Falcon.

The person on the other side knocks again and calls my name this time. “Riff? You in there?”

What the hell is Gabe doing here? On the way to the door I glance down at Aubrey’s suitcase and decide to take it with me. It’s better to just hand it over and avoid any little talk he wants to have about me hurting his sister. There’s no need for him to start a fight with me, defending her honor. I already know I’m a bastard.

I yank open the door and thrust the luggage out to him. “This is everything.”

Gabe pushes it back towards me with both hands. “I didn’t come here for here for that.”

I raise my pierced eyebrow. “I hope it’s not to talk, because Aubrey and I are done. There’s nothing else to discuss.”

Gabe shakes his head and licks the corner of his mouth like he’s trying to figure out what he can say without starting a war with me. “If you’re really this much of a dick, maybe I shouldn’t tell you what I came here to say.”

I brace my hand against the door jam. “You probably shouldn’t. I like you, and I don’t want this getting out of hand.”

He scratches the back of his head. “If I wasn’t so sure my sister fucking loves you, I’d be tempted to lay your ass out, but she does. I came here because I figured you can’t be a total fucking tool since she nearly died coming to try and keep you in her life.”

My chest tightens and suddenly it’s nearly impossible to breathe. “What did you say?”

Gabe nods. “She’s been in an accident. When I told her about your father, she picked herself up off the ground and took our dad’s car to come comfort you. She ran a red light and a truck side-swiped her.”

My throat closes up and I attempt to swallow to force some air into my lungs. I bend at the waist and brace my hands on my thighs and stare up at Gabe who watches me with wide eyes. My entire body shakes. “Is she alright?”

Gabe frowns and his eyebrows soften. “She’s in the hospital.”

I shoot straight up and grab Gabe’s shoulders. “Where is she? Take me to her!”

He smiles sadly. “It’s good to know you still love her, because she’s going to need you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Aubrey hasn’t woken up since they brought her into the hospital.”

I fall to my knees, the hotel door hitting my side. My girl—my Kitten—is hurt and it’s all my fucking fault. I close my eyes and the tears burn trails down my cheeks. If something happens to her, I swear to God I’ll never forgive myself.

I need to be with her. I need to be the one taking care of her. “Take me to her.”

Gabe grips my shoulder. “Come on. I’ll drive.”

We grab all the luggage from the hotel room, including the guitar that I never travel without, and head down to Gabe’s car. Once inside and on the road to the hospital, I catch myself fidgeting. My right leg bounces and I chew the skin on my right thumb. “Are they running tests?”

He bites his bottom lip as he makes a left hand turn. “They were doing a CAT Scan of her brain when I left.”

I sigh, hating being at the mercy of a bunch of doctors to make her better. “Do they have any clue why she won’t wake up?”

“No.” He grips the steering wheel a little tighter. “But a lot of times when people are unconscious for that long, it’s never a good sign.”

There are no words to even describe the amount of pain that floods every inch of my body. This can’t be real. This can’t be happening.

I take a deep breath and all the times I’ve spent with Aubrey flash through my mind. Her beautiful smile comes into focus—how it lights me up inside in a way I thought could never be again. Every day I thank God that Aubrey came with Lanie that night to the show for Center Stage. The moment I laid eyes on her everything changed forever. She completely rocked my world and pulled me out of the haze that was my life.

Thinking of my Kitten’s friend, Lanie it makes me wonder if she knows. “Did you call Lanie?”

Gabe shakes his head and I instantly fish my cell from my pocket. After a couple seconds, Noel’s number rings on the other end. “Hey, brother. Enjoying your time off?”

It’s good to hear Noel’s familiar voice. I open my mouth, but it’s hard to tell them about Kitten. If I don’t say it out loud, maybe it won’t be real.

“Riff? Man, you there?” Noel questions.

“Yeah...I’m here.” I hear the shake in my own voice. “It’s Aubrey.”

“Something wrong? You sound off.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes. “She was in a car crash.”

“Fuck. Is she okay?” Concern is thick in his voice.

“She’s, um, oh God.” Tears erupt again. “She’s in the hospital. Her brother is driving me to her now. Jesus, Noel, she hasn’t woken up. If something happens to her...” I can’t even finish the sentence before I sob hysterically.

“Riff, put her brother on the phone. I need to find out where she is. Lane and I are coming to you,” Noel orders, and I hand over the phone to Gabe.

I drop my head into my hands and allow all the emotion I’ve been fighting to pour out of me. I can’t go through this again. I can’t loose another fucking person I love.

After Gabe gives Noel the information on where we’re at, he hands me back my phone and then pats me on the back. “You have to stay strong for her, man. Just let her know you’re there for her, and try anything you can think of to try and bring her around. Maybe if she hears your voice...”

I can hear the crack in Gabe’s voice, before he swallows hard. I know this is hurting him, too.

We make it upstairs to the hospital room in record time. Gabe marches on through, but I pause in the doorway and take a deep breath, trying to get my shit together. I need to stay strong for her.

The soft beep of the medical equipment echoes through the room. My eyes land on Aubrey’s beautiful face. A few scratches and cuts cover her face and arms. I lick my lips over and over to fight back the tears as my eyes take in the needles poking into her skin, feeding fluids into her tiny body.

I stand there frozen, unsure of what to do with myself. I want to take her place so fucking bad it hurts. She doesn’t deserve this. I shouldn’t have left her. I shouldn’t have said the mean and hurtful things I did. Those can’t be the last words that ever pass between us. They just can’t be.

A hand on my shoulder startles me. I’m so transfixed on Aubrey I don’t notice anyone else in the room. “Zach, honey, she needs you. Go to her. Tell her you’re here.”

I stare down at Mrs. Jenson as her words sink in. “What do I say?” I whisper, and I hate myself even more for not being strong enough to know exactly what to do in this situation.

“Tell her things from your heart. We need to pull her back from wherever she is and let her know there’s a good reason she needs to come back to us. We’ve all told her how much we love her.” Aubrey’s mom motions over to The Judge who sits in a chair in the corner, looking pale—a shadow of the man who I fought with hours before. “But I believe it’s you, Zach. You’re what she needs.”

Expressing myself has never been easy, and I always fuck up exactly what I want to say. Everything depends on this moment. I want her to wake up, and I want her to know how much she means to me. “Hey, Gabe. Can you bring my guitar up? I want to try something.”

He gives me a curt nod. “No problem.”

When Gabe rushes out of the room, I take a few steps and fall to my knees next to my Aubrey’s bed. I scoop her limp hand into mine and pull it to my lips. A few tears fall and I bury my face into the bed. I don’t know how long I stay like that, but before I know it, Gabe is back with my guitar.

“I’ll just set it here for you,” he says to me before turning to his parents. “Mom, Dad, I think we should give them a few minutes.”

The Judge first shows some resistance, but takes a long look at my face and nods, allowing Connie to push him out of the room behind Gabe.

Aubrey and I are alone.

I swallow hard as I push a strand of hair back from her face. “Baby, I need you. Please wake up.”

I hold my breath as I wait for her to open her eyes and smile at me just like she always does when she first wakes up, but nothing happens. I squeeze her hand harder and begin to pray, “God, please bring her back to me. I know I don’t deserve her, but she deserves to be here. I can’t go through this again. Please...” The desperation in my voice is unmistakable, but my prayer goes unanswered.

Going for another tactic I reach for my guitar, just as a short, dark-haired nurse enters the room followed by a tall, wiry doctor wearing glasses. The nurse gazes around the room as the doctor goes to work instantly examining Aubrey. She looks at me and asks, “Did her family leave?”

I nod. “They’ll be back any second.”

The doctor sighs as he pushes around on Aubrey’s stomach and there’s no reaction from her whatsoever. “I really need to speak to them about Aubrey. Can you call them and ask them to come back?”

Gabe answers on the first ring and informs me they’re just down the hall in the waiting area. I explain to him that the doctor is in the room and wants to speak with the family and he tells me they’ll be right down.

“They’ll be here any second,” I tell the doctor.

“Good.” His brown eyes flick up to mine under his gray, bushy eyebrows. “Are you family?”

I clear my throat and debate on saying I’m family too so I can hear whatever news they have to give, but decide to be honest. “I...um...I’m her boyfriend.”

He frowns and glances at the nurse before turning his attention back to me. “Then you’ll want to stick around for this.”

That surprises me. Usually non-family are the first to get the boot.

Mrs. Jenson walks in clinging to the Judge’s arm, while Gabe trails in behind them. They all look as drained as I feel. Heavy lines mar both of Aubrey’s parents’ faces, making them seem much older than they had merely a day ago.

“Is there any news, Dr. Bartley?” Aubrey’s mother asks with a hopeful tone.

The doctor leans back against the footboard of the bed, and folds his arms across his chest while he faces all of us. The nurse continues to work on the computer as he starts speaking, “There is news. It appears Aubrey has a slight brain bleed.”

Her parents both gasp next to me and her mother clutches her chest. “How bad is it?”

“It’s very small—only about five millimeters in size. The brain should be able to reabsorb that with little to no damage.”

“So why hasn’t she woken up?” I ask.

His gaze fixes on me. “We don’t know. We hope her this coma is just temporary, and that body her body is going to taking time to heal and will kick-start itself soon. All of her vitals are stable and there are no other concerns, but I have to ask—did you know she’s pregnant?”

My mouth drops open and tingle bursts open in my chest. “Did you just say pregnant?”

The doctor’s lips pull into a tight line. “She’s not very far from what I can tell—about three weeks if all the ultrasounds are correct.”

I shake my head as my entire body goes numb. “That can’t be. I’m sterile.”

The doctor grabs a chair, motioning for me to have a seat. “Why do you think you’re sterile?”

I rub the back of my neck. “I was in an accident when I was sixteen, and that’s what the doctors told me and my mom.”

He pats my knee. “We aren’t always right, you know. Congratulations, son. Looks like you’re going to be a father.”

Could he be right? It’s not like I’d ever tested the sterility thing with anyone else other than Aubrey. She’s the only girl I’ve ever had any unprotected sex with, and I know once we became exclusive she stopped her birth control because I’d told there was no point in using it with me. Is it possible? We’re they wrong before?

“I’m going to be a dad?” I ask timidly.

He smiles. “Yes.”

It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever felt so close to ever having something that was truly mine. I glance over to Aubrey lying in the bed, unmoving, and stare at her stomach. My kid is in there. We’re going to be a family. It’s crazy to know find out the same day I lost my father, I’m going to become one.

Panic instantly sets in. What if I’m not good enough to be a father? What if I fuck this up? I rest my elbows on my thighs and press my folded hands against my forehead. What if they don’t make it? I begin to cry as the knowledge that I might not get a chance if Aubrey doesn’t wake up.

I bat a tear away and turn my gaze to the doctor. “What can I do to make her pull out of the coma? I’ll do anything. Anything.”

He smiles. “Try anything you can think of. Talking to her about memories and things that mean the most to her might help bring her around.”

“I’ll do anything for her,” I say.

“I trust that you will.” He glances up at her parents. “We’ll continue to run a few more tests. They’ll start later on this evening if there’s no improvement. Any other questions?”

They all shake their heads and the doctor excuses himself from the room.

The Judge turns to me and I instantly bolt up from the seat, ready to kick his ass if he wants to try and fight with me over this. Aubrey doesn’t need to hear that.

He takes quick steps over towards me and I throw my hands up, ready to fight, but instead of attacking me like I thought he wraps his arms around my shoulders. The powerful Judge squeezes me tight as he begins to weep. “You do whatever you have to and bring her back. I know you love her just as much as she loves you. I see it. If anyone can bring her out of this, it’s you. I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time before. I wanted her to be with someone who loves her.”

“I do love her—with all my soul,” I answer.

He pulls back. “I know you do. I understand that now.” The Judge claps my shoulder and smiles at me sadly before heading for the door. “Come on, Connie. Let’s give the man some time alone with our girl.”

Mrs. Jenson kisses my cheek and then pats it with her fingers, before following her husband and Gabe out of the room.

I lick my lips and bend down to open the case before pulling my guitar out. I drag a chair next to her bedside and stare at her. She reminds me of a princess caught up in a sleeping spell, waiting on a kiss of true love to awaken her. Hopefully, I’m that man for Aubrey.

I strum the guitar and a song that spoke to me a lot when I was going through some major issues comes to mind. It’s not until I play the first lick on the strings that I realize how fitting it is for how I feel about Aubrey.

I slow the rhythm down a bit and say, “The Cure helped me make it through the death of my mom and sister, but Lovesong takes a whole different meaning when I think about you.”

My fingers slide down the neck of the guitar as I sing about how when I’m with her she makes me feel whole again. She’s filled a hole in me that I didn’t know was possible to fix, and made me understand that I’m worth loving. That I mean something and my life isn’t just one huge fucking mistake.

I continue to sing as I think about her and our unborn child growing in her belly, and how much I need them both—more than I ever needed anything. “I will always love you.”

I pick out the last few chords and set the instrument up against the wall. I stand and press my lips to hers. When she doesn’t even flinch, I flop back down in the chair and lay my head on the bed. The tears start again. It’s like I have no fucking control over them any more. This grief is too much to fight. The puddle on the bed grows as they keep flowing.

“Please, Kitten. I love you. Don’t leave me. I can’t take it,” I whisper. “We’re having a baby. Did you hear that? I know I might not be exactly the best father material in the world, and I’m scared out of my fucking mind that’ll I screw things up, but damn it, Aubrey I want that chance. Please come back, baby,” I plead with her, willing life to spark into her.

Her fingers twitch against my cheek and I jerk my head up and stare at her fingers fighting to move. I know I should call for the nurse, but I don’t want to risk them coming in here and pushing her away again.

I jump up and kiss her smooth cheek. “Please, baby, come back to me.” The monitor beeps pick up speed and my heart thunders. “That’s it. Fight for us. Fight for our baby. Give me a chance to try and be a father—to be the man I know I can be for you.”

Her entire hand jerks as soon as the words leave my mouth and I gasp—it’s working. I smooth her hair back from her face. “I love you, baby—so fucking much. Don’t you dare think about leaving me.”

Aubrey’s eyelids flutter as she struggles to wake up. “Can you hear me, Kitten? I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere.”

The monitor’s erratic pace starts slowing down as her body relaxes and she blinks slowly before she opens her eyes. Her lips part and she whispers my name, “Zach.”

I grab her hand and kiss it over and over as I smile and cry at the same time. “I’m right here. I’m right here.”

She nods. “It was you. I heard your voice, singing to me. It pulled me in and I had to follow it. It lead me back to you.”

“I’m so sorry for how I left you. You belong with me. I’m never going to be an idiot and leave your side again. There’s no getting rid of me now,” I tell her. “It’s you, me, and our baby forever. You’re all the family I need.”

She stares up at me with wide green eyes. “Our baby?”

I bite my bottom lip and hold my ring between my teeth. “You’re three weeks pregnant. They found out when they were running a bunch of tests on you.”

Tears leak down her cheeks. “We’re going to have a baby? I thought you...”

I shake my head. “They were wrong. We’re going to be a family.”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, it hits me that after all these years I’m getting what I’ve always wanted—a family that loves me, and I love back just as much.

I wrap my arms around her and we cry together. “I love you, Kitten.”

When I pull back she touches my cheek. “And I love you. Forever.”

Chapter 9

AUBREY

It’s taken nearly two weeks to have Zach’s father’s body moved to Kentucky. It wasn’t an easy choice for Zach to bury his father in the plot his family reserved next to his mother, but in the end family comes first. My man’s life hasn’t been an easy one. He’s been through more hell than one person should ever have to withstand, but I’m glad he’s finally finding true peace and becoming happier with each passing day.

The pastor says a prayer as Zach’s father is lowered into the cold earth and Zach grips my hand tight. I glance over at him and watch as he struggles to hold back his emotions.

“He was a bastard,” Zach says only loud enough for me to hear. “But he was still my father, the only one I ever had, and I hate that I still loved him.”

I lean my head on his shoulder. “He had a lot of issues, Zach. Drugs and alcohol change people. The man you knew the last few years wasn’t really your father. Don’t feel guilty about loving the man you knew he really was deep down.”

He turns his head and kisses the top of my head. “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”

I pat my stomach gently. “Us, you mean,” I correct him.

Zach places his hand over mine. “It’s us against the world, just like always. You’re going to be a great mother.”

To say I was shocked when I found out I’m pregnant would be an understatement, but it doesn’t mean I love the little life growing inside me any less. I know Zach doubts his abilities involving fatherhood, but if he could see himself through my eyes he would stop all his silly doubts. He’s taken such great care of me the last couple of weeks since we found out—barely allowing me to lift a finger. I grin. “And you’re going to be an amazing father.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and hugs me tightly against his side as the casket comes to a stop. The pastor motions for Zach to throw the single white rose he’s holding into the open grave.

When Zach stands he pulls me up along side him and tosses in the flower. “Goodbye, Dad. I hope you find Mom and Hailey and can finally be happy again.”

I sniff as his words drive home how our baby and I are really the only family he has now. That is until Noel rests his hand on Zach’s opposite shoulder and Trip and Tyke stand beside him. That’s when I remember, not only does Zach have me, he has a new family in the form of Black Falcon.

“You okay, man?” Noel asks.

Zach wipes his nose on a tissue. “I’ll be all right.”

Noel gives Zach a sad smile and glances from Zach to me and then back. “I know you will be.”

Lanie reaches around and hugs first Zach, and then me, her belly popping out a little. “Thank you for being here,” I tell her.

“Your welcome, sweetie. You’re two are family. I’ll always be here for you. Speaking of which, make sure you’re resting and drinking plenty of fluids. It’s good for the baby,” Lanie tells me as she pulls back.

“You’d be good to remember that, too,” I remind her. “We both need be on top of our game if we’re going to start this new marketing company.”

“I still can’t believe Diana Swagger is going to settle your lawsuit out of court. Brady must be a damn fine attorney.”

I shrug. “One of the best. Besides, you know Diana. She probably didn’t want a wrongful termination case to go public against her company. She doesn’t like blemishes on that reputation of hers.”

She nods. “Whatever the reason, I’m glad everything is working out for you. You finally have it all, girl.”

There will be no argument from me on that front. She’s right. I have the man of my dreams and my family seems to be coming around to accept Zach since they heard news of the baby in the hospital and finally figured out he’s a permanent fixture in my life. Not to mention my career looks brighter. With the amount of money that Brady thinks I’ll gain from the lawsuit, and the small loan I’ve agreed to accept from Zach, I’m looking forward to starting a small marketing firm with Lanie. Things are finally looking up for me.

We say our goodbyes to Lanie and the guys and head for the black limo that’s waiting to drive us back to our vehicle. It’s been a long, emotional day and I can’t wait to get back to Zach’s place. We are both in need of some serious rest and relaxation.

The driver opens the door as we approach and Zach helps me inside. After Zach is seated comfortably, the driver closes us in and then hops into the front of the car. Zach presses a button on the ceiling and closes the window between us and the driver.

He glances over at me. “Sorry, I wanted some alone time. I’m kind of talked out, you know.”

I nod thinking back on how many extended family members showed up at the funeral. More than anything, it seemed like people came to catch a glimpse of the band than to actually mourn the loss of Zach’s father. “I completely understand.”

Zach turns the corner of his lips up. “That’s what I love most about you. You get me—even when I don’t get myself—you do. You’re everything to me, do you know that?”

I take his hand in mine. “And you get me.”

He stares at my face. His eyes seem like they’re searching for an answer to a question that he never even asked. The ring on his bottom lip flicks in and out a couple of times as he tears his eyes away from my face and then stares down at my hand. “Fuck it. I can’t wait.”

I tilt my head. “Wait for what?”

His sits up straighter in the seat and untucks his button down shirt from his dress pants.

I grab his hand. “Whoa. We aren’t having sex in here right after your—”

I stop mid-sentence as he grabs the hem of his t-shirt and tears a small piece of the white fabric off. I stare at him as he works on ripping it into an even smaller section and tying it into a small circle.

Afraid he’s completely snapped, I ask as soft as I can, “What are you doing?”

His eyes stay trained on the fabric. “Something I should’ve done a long time ago.” Once he’s done he takes my left hand. “Aubrey, I know this isn’t a real ring, but it doesn’t make what it represents is any less real. You know I can buy you any ring you want—”

I gasp at his words and my heart thunders in my chest. “Zach—”

He shakes his head. “Hear me out. I know the timing of this is fucked up but the truth is, putting my father in the ground today only reminded me that we never know how much time we have in this fucked up world. And that time is precious, Aubrey. It’s something no amount of money in the world can ever buy us. I want to spend every second I have left on this earth with you. I want you to marry me. Right now.” His eyes stare into mine. “Let’s do this. We’ll drive over to the Justice of the Peace and get married. I’m committed to this family.” He touches my stomach and tears roll down my cheeks. “I love you, Kitten. I want to be with you always.”

I grab his face in my hands and kiss his lips, not needing to hear another word to be convinced this is the right thing to do. “Yes. I love you. Let’s do this.”

He slips the small cloth circle on my left, ring finger. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life showing you how much you mean to me.”

I bite my lip and stare down at my hand. This homemade ring means more to me than anything he could ever have bought me because I know this comes straight from his heart. In this moment I know we are meant to be forever.

Chapter 10

NOEL FALCON (Months later—Bonus Chapter)

I impatiently pace the lobby of the hospital, checking my watch every couple seconds. Where the hell are they? They said they would be here in twenty minutes—one more minutes than I’m going back up without them.

The minute passes and I turn towards the elevator to head back to the maternity floor, but before I get two steps away Aubrey and Riff push their way through the revolving entrance door. I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank, God.”

Riff holds Aubrey’s hand as she waddles through the lobby towards me. “I’m sorry, bro. We don’t move very fast these days.”

I take Aubrey’s swollen belly. She’s only a month behind Lane in due dates, so I know exactly what they’re going through right now. “I get it, but Lane’s about nine centimeters dilated and she’s crying for Aubrey. I need to get her up there before it’s too late.”

Zach places his hand on my shoulder. “It’s going to be fine.”

I stare into the eyes of my best friend. Marrying Aubrey and both of them preparing to have a baby of their own has changed him so much. We’ve gotten even closer, bonding over married-life with pregnant wives together. If someone would’ve told me a year ago, when we where fighting all the time, that we’d be here in this exact moment, I would’ve called them a liar.

The elevator doors open with an audible ding. The screams of a woman in pain ring down the hall and Riff stops in his tracks. “Come on, man.”

Riff shakes his head. “I think I’ll find the waiting area and hang out. Keep an eye on Aubrey, would you?”

“Lane’s not the one yelling like that,” I say, trying to convince him to come with us.

Another loud wail comes from the open door to our right. “Just the same, I don’t think it’s me she wants to see.”

Riff presses the elevator button and steps in as soon as the doors open.

I start after him, but Aubrey grabs my arm. “Let him go. He’s freaked out because we watched a birthing video yesterday. He’s afraid he’ll be scarred for life once he sees that with our kid.”

I nod, completely understanding. “It’ll be different when it’s you. He’ll man up. I know he will.”

She laughs. “We’ll see. Who would’ve thought bad-ass Zachery Riff Oliver gets turned into a scaredy-cat when it comes to childbirth.”

I smile. “It’ll be so much fun to tease him about this later.”

The moment Aubrey steps into the room, Lane reaches for her and cries, “I didn’t think you were going to make it.”

Aubrey pushes strands of loose hair away from Lane’s face. “Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t miss the birth of my Godson for anything.”

Lane smiles and I sigh. It’s the first smile I’ve seen since her labor started ten hours ago. “I can’t wait until my son and your daughter can play together. Have you picked out a name?”

A contraction hits Lane hard, and she closes her eyes and breathes through it. Aubrey holds her hand and counts down, watching the arc of the monitor come down. “Good job, girl. You did it.”

Lane sighs and opens her eyes. “Keep talking. It distracts me. What’s her name going to be?”

“We’re naming her Hailey Lauren after Zach’s sister and mom.”

“That’s so sweet.”

The nurse that’s been with us for the last five hours comes into the room. Her dark hair is pulled into a tight ponytail on top of her head, making her short stature seem a little taller. “How are we doing in here?”

“In a lot of pain,” Lane says.

“Means you’re getting close. I’m going to check you again. Hopefully you’re at ten centimeters and you can start pushing. I’m going to need everyone but Dad to clear the room,” the nurse orders.

Aubrey kisses Lane’s forehead. “Be strong, sweetie. I’m so excited to meet him. I’ll be with Zach in the waiting room.” Aubrey steps to me and hugs me. “Take care of her, Dad.” We laugh and I promise I will before Aubrey leaves the room.

The nurse washes her hands and slips on a pair of gloves before sitting on the edge of Lane’s bed and reaching under the sheet between her legs. After a couple seconds the nurse grins. “Good news. You’re ten. Let me go grab the doctor and you can have this baby.”

The moment she leaves the room I drag my chair up to Lane’s bedside. “I can’t believe we’re going to meet our son today.”

She sniffs as tears roll down her face. “Me neither. I can’t wait to hold James in my arms.”

I wipe her tear away with my thumb. “Your dad would love that we named our son after him.”

“I love that, too,” she whispers.

The doctor and a team full of nurses come charging through the door, setting up equipment and putting blue gowns overtop their clothes. The doctor finally turns to us after his mask is in place and asks, “You two ready for this?”

Lane nods. “We are so ready.”

I grab Lane’s hand. “Let’s do this.”

Everything happens so fast. Stirrups pop out of the sides of the bed and the nurse that’s been with us all day grabs one of Lane’s feet and instructs me to do the same with the other. My eyes widen as the physician uses his fingers to massage the opening between Lane’s legs as my son’s head begins to crown.

Nervous energy fills every inch of me. I’ve never been so excited to see something so gross in my entire life.

The minutes tick by and Lane’s yells out in agony as she pushes James’s head completely out. “Oh, my god, Lane. You’re doing it, baby. Almost there! Just a little more. I see his face. He’s so beautiful.”

“Okay, Lanie. One more big push to get the shoulders out, sweetheart and we’ll be all done,” the nurse encourages my wife. “On the count of three—push with everything you got. One, two, three...push. Push. Push. Push.”

She bears down and grits her teeth. James continues to slide out, and the doctor grabs him and begins to pull at the same time. The medical staff suction his nose and mouth as both of his shoulders pass through the birth canal and a moment later our baby is completely out.

My entire body shakes as I watch them suction his mouth out completely and he begins to cry. I lean down and kiss my wife, who is just as caught up in the moment as I am.

“Congratulations! It’s a boy,” The doctor announces as he wraps the baby up and lays him on Lane’s chest.

“Hi, James,” Lane whispers. “Welcome to the world.”

I lean down and kiss his little forehead. “Happy birthday, little man.”

Instantly the need wish my son a happy birthday overwhelms me, so I open my mouth and begin singing the infamous birthday song.

Everyone in the room joins in and I smile as my son stares up at me with dark blue eyes, taking in the room around him. As soon as we finish singing I kiss my wife on the top of her head and thank the heavens above for the most perfect life I’ve been given.

ROCK THE BEAT

Black Falcon, #3

by Michelle A. Valentine

Prologue

It Will Rain

Two Weeks Prior...

For some strange reason there are socially acceptable jokes made all the time about women being late for dates, but there aren’t any for guys. Take my boyfriend, Jackson Cruze, for example. He has a face like Channing Tatum, a body that David Beckham would be envious over, and the time management skills of a well-trained baboon. The guy couldn’t be on time if it saves his life.

I check my watch again and sigh. Surely he wouldn’t forget to pick me up tonight? We’ve had this date planned for our two-year anniversary for some time now. He’s not that big of a jerk, is he?

I pull out my cell and call my best friend, Max, while I wait. Like clockwork, he answers on the second ring and I ask, “Where are you?”

Max laughs into the phone while the sounds of a wild party fill in behind him. “I’m at Paulo’s. Why aren’t you here? This is the biggest end of summer bash I’ve ever seen. You’ve got to get your ass over here.”

Paulo’s has the best Mexican food, drinks and DJs this side of the border. It’s one of my most favorite places to hang out with my friends, and it sounds a whole lot better than waiting on my date who’s already over an hour late.

I pick at my nails. “I can’t. I’m waiting on Jackson. It’s our anniversary.”

“Um, Holly, Jackson’s here.”

My nostrils flare and my brow crinkles. “What?! Why is he there? He’s supposed to be here.” This makes no sense.

“I’m not sure, baby girl, but by the looks of him, he’s been here for a while.”

Un-freaking-believable. “Is he drunk?”

There’s a bit of rustling on Max’s end. “Judging by the number of beer cans piled on the table and slight wobble in his stance, I’d say he’s hammered. Better forget tonight, Blondie, and plan on reaming his ass for it tomorrow. Come over and hang out with me. I miss you.”

I resist the urge to chuck my cell out into the gravel parking lot in front of my house. Phones are expensive, and I don’t have an extra penny to waste. “I’m not really feeling up to it. I think I’m going to head on to bed.”

“All right. Love you. Call me tomorrow. I want to know what excuse he feeds you this time,” Max says.

He’s never been a big fan of Jackson’s, and this little incident certainly won’t help win Jackson win any favor points. I can’t count the number of times Max has encouraged me to break up with my boyfriend over the last two years.

“Sure thing. Good night and have fun,” I tell him before ending the call.

I haul my ass out of the old, white, rocking chair on the front porch and trudge up my stairs. I can’t believe he forgot—I even reminded him today. You’d think after two years, being together with me would mean something.

I close my bedroom door and then fall onto my bed. The yellow sundress I bought special for tonight becomes my blanket as I curl my legs inside it. Tears push their way down my temples before landing in the long, mess of blonde hair spread across my pillow. I can’t believe Jackson did this to me.

Don’t I mean anything to him? You don’t blow off people you love for a stupid party.

I know he’s not been the best boyfriend in the world, but I didn’t expect for him to totally blow me off like this. I know things have been rocky between us since I came home from college this summer, but that’s one of the reasons I decided to stay home this fall. To mend what a year away at school had broken.

I close my eyes, feeling stupid for loving someone that obviously doesn’t love me back, and cry myself to sleep.

The next thing I know my shoulder is gently shaken, stirring me out of a deep sleep. “Holly. Wake up.”

It’s Jackson, no doubt still drunk off his ass and feeling guilty. I roll over and rub my eyes while trying to make him out in the dark. “What time is it?”

“It’s nearly five,” he whispers.

I sit up quickly. “Are you out of your mind coming in here at this time of night? If my dad catches you, he’ll kill you. How’d you get in here anyway?”

After blinking a few times, my vision adjusts to the moonlit room. Jackson’s sitting on the edge of my bed with his lips pulled into a tight line. I tense. I’ve seen that look before. It’s the expression he wears when he’s nervous.

His polo shirt hugs his toned body as he bends at the waist, resting his elbows on his knees while he drops his head. “The front door was open, so I let myself in.”

I sigh heavily. “Really, Jackson, this can’t wait until the morning? I know you’re sorry for standing me up. I forgive you for that. People make mistakes.”

He turns toward me and grabs my hand. “You don’t know how glad I am to hear you say that. I don’t want you to hate me.”

I don’t like the way I can sense desperation on him as he’s touching me. There’s something wrong. I’ve known him long enough that I can just feel it. “Why are you here, Jackson? Did something happen?”

Jackson runs his hand over his shaved head and shoots his gaze down at the floor. “I didn’t mean to do it, Holl. You have to believe me.”

I lean down trying to catch his gaze, but it doesn’t work. He won’t look at me and this causes my stomach to drop. “Didn’t mean to do what, Jackson? You’re scaring me.”

He takes a deep breath. He takes a deep breath. “I’ve been sleeping with someone else while you were away at school, and well, I did it again tonight, so I figured it was time you knew.”

My breath catches at the same time my heart crumbles in my chest. I clutch my throat. There’s no air and I can’t breathe. One word keeps assaulting my mind. “Why?”

“Because I don’t think I love you anymore. If I’m being honest, I don’t believe I have for a while now. We’ve grown apart Holly and I want to date other people.” His words are barely a whisper, but he might as well be screaming them at me.

Hot tears pour down my face as I toss his hand aside. “Get out.”

Jackson stands and shoves his hands deep in his jean pockets. “I’m sorry, Holl. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now, but I—”

I cover my ears. I don’t want to hear anything else he has to say. He’s already said enough. “Get Out!”

The sound of me shouting must’ve been loud enough to wake my dad in his bedroom downstairs. Footsteps pound up the steps and my father comes bursting in the door with a baseball bat in hand. Panic wells in my father’s eyes until he spots my boyfriend in my room, then his expression turns from fear to anger. Before Dad has a chance to scold Jackson for being in my room, Jackson runs out of my door and out of my heart for good.

Chapter 1

Closer

Holly

I lay on my bed staring up at the ceiling. It’s been two weeks since Jackson dumped me. Two weeks since my heart was obliterated. Two weeks since I basically stopped living my life. For the last two years Jackson has been my world. Without him I’m not even sure how to carry on.

A loud pounding on my bedroom door makes me jump. “Blondie, I know you’re in there. Get decent, because I’m coming in.”

“Max...” I whine. “Go away. I don’t want to see anybody.”

The door flies open and my best friend, Max, comes barreling through. He marches over to my bed and grabs my wrist, tugging me to sit up. “Jeesh, Holly, this is pathetic. Get your cute, little ass up. We’re getting you out of this house. It’s been two weeks.”

I groan and try to fling myself back onto my pillow, but Max’s hold won’t allow it. “Oh, no. No more lying in this dark room, depressed over a man that’s good riddance as far as I’m concerned. You, missy, are going out and rejoining the land of the living, whether you like it or not.”

I try to protest, but Max grabs my arm and leg and hoists me over his broad shoulders. “No, Max. Please.”

He sighs. “Holly, this is for your own good. I’m tired of seeing you waste your energy on Jackson Cruze. He’s an asshole, and I’m glad you aren’t with him anymore.”

“But, I love him, Max. I don’t know how to live my life without him,” I argue as Max carries me down the hall towards the bathroom.

Once we’re in the bathroom, Max sets me down and turns on the shower before facing me. “You need to find new happiness without him. It’s over between the two of you. I’ve already seen him with other women. Trust me, he’s not pinning away over you. It’s time to move on.”

Tears burn my eyes of how little I actually meant to him. “He’s dating already?”

Max nods and places his hands on my shoulders. “It’s time for you to get back out there too. Now get your skanky ass a shower and get ready. I’m taking you to a club.”

A couple hours later I find myself downtown with Max. It’s 90’s Nite in one of the hottest clubs in town, and I love to dance and drink. It’s the perfect combination to wipe away the memories of a man that’s done me wrong.

I glance around and survey all the men in place. Why are all the really hot men either gay or taken? I swear there’s one decent man left in Tucson. Thank God my best friend is with me. I have terrible gaydar.

“I told you this would be great,” Max yells over the music as he dances with me to the beat of a Roxette song blaring through the speakers. “You’ll be saying, ‘Jackson who?’ by the time we leave this heavenly bar filled with hot men.”

I giggle and take another sip of my Sex on the Beach—compliments of Max and my fake ID. “This is a great idea—nothing like celebrating your birthday two weeks after getting dumped by the biggest jackass in the state.”

Max laughs and his brown hair falls over the corner of his left eye before he takes me by the hand ready to spin me. “That was the best thing that ever happened to you, Holly. Trust me. He didn’t appreciate what he had.” He raises his glass of soda. “Here’s to a new start in your twenties, may they be better than your teen years.”

“I’ll drink to that!” A tingle erupts in my hands, signaling I’ve nearly hit my limit, but I’m not about to let this yummy drink go to waste. Plus, it’s hot in here. I down the last of it and hand Max the glass. “One more?” I give him the best pleading puppy-dog eyes I can manage.

I’m not ready to stop having fun yet. It’s nice to not have to think about Jackson for a change and just have fun with my friend.

He sighs. “One more and that’s it. And it’s only because you’re finally smiling for once in the last two weeks, but we’re leaving while you can still walk out of here.”

I throw my arms around his neck, leaning up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Thanks, Max. You’re the bestest friend and designated driver a girl could ever have.”

He laughs. “Remember how much you love me when you’re praying to the porcelain god in the morning and cursing me for letting you drink so much.”

“Deal,” I say as I release him and go back to rocking my hips to the beat.

I fling my hair from side to side and sing along to the song, dancing like I’m alone in my bedroom instead of at a crowded bar. Normally, I’m reserved, but tonight I’m cutting loose and living up being single. I need a break from my straight-laced life.

Half way into the song, a body presses up against my back, dancing in time with me. That didn’t take long. I tug the bottom of my little, black dress down around my thighs. The dang thing rides up every time I move and it’s getting on my last nerve.

The music pumps all around me and the faceless stranger while the amount of alcohol I’ve consumed has my head swimming. I close my eyes and lean my head back against the hard chest behind me and breathe in the spicy scent of men’s cologne. He smells mouth-watering, and I just pray that when I turn around he’s as hot as I’m imagining.

The song changes and our bodies move in sync to the erotic beat of Closer by Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor’s voice growling through the speakers about fucking causes a strange surge of arousal to come over me.

The guy behind me feels it too. Our dance turns slow and sensual as he grinds himself into my ass. His hands run down my bare arms then rest on my hips. He jerks me against him even tighter and brushes my hair to the side. I should stop him, but it’s been so long since I’ve been touched like this, I don’t want it to end. I like it too much. The feel of his nose gliding against my neck causes my mouth to drift open and I allow myself to enjoy his close proximity.

“I want to fuck you,” the stranger growls in my ear before biting my earlobe.

Normally, this guy would be getting a fist to the face right about now, but because it feels amazing to have someone want me, plus I’ve been drinking, I’m going to allow it—if he’s cute, that is.

Hell, if he’s as hot as he sounds, I might just drag him into an empty bathroom stall and let him do exactly what he wants with my body.

I turn slowly, my eyes closed, praying to the hotness gods to take pity on me. My gaze lands on a toned chest wearing a tight, black t-shirt, with both of his arms covered in intricate tattoos. Good so far. My eyes travel further up and I take in the light beard on his face covering his strong jaw-line before my gaze locks on his bright green eyes. The dark hair on his head is shaggy and wild, just like the look in his eyes.

Not only is he hot, and this may be just the booze talking, but he’s beautiful too. He could be possibly the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. I lick my lips and allow him to tighten his grip on my hips and mash me against his body even harder. My fingers dart out and run down his pecs before I wrap them around his neck and allow him to rock my body to the sensual beat of the song.

The devilish smirk he wears draws my attention to his mouth. No man should have lips that inviting, and I bite my own to keep them from attacking his. This man would be the perfect fling to take my mind off Jackson. I’m sure an hour alone with him would make me forget how pathetic I’ve been, pinning over a man who no longer wants me.

The beautiful stranger notices the expression on my face and, without asking permission, he leans downs and presses his lips to mine. I close my eyes and allow his greedy tongue entrance into my mouth. Every inch of my body comes alive and goose bumps erupt from my flesh as I open myself up to him.

I could do this all night—wait scratch that—I want to do more than this all night with him, not even caring that I don’t know his name. Isn’t the second person you sleep with supposed to be the complete opposite of the first? Where I’d known Jackson practically my entire life, this guy is a total stranger who seems very capable of surprising me then walking out of my life forever.

He pulls away and leans his forehead against mine. “Come home with me.” My heart thunders in my chest as his tongue darts out and licks my lips before my drunken brain even has time to process his request. “I promise you’ll love the way I fuck you.”

I sigh heavily. If his kissing skills are any indication of what sleeping with him will be like, I have no doubt I’ll love it. This is exactly what I need.

Just as I’m ready to agree, I’m jerked away, and the stranger furrows his brow, watching as I’m tugged through the crowd. Once I’m out of the hot guy’s line of sight, I turn to Max, who has taken it upon himself to pull me away from a guy I was about ready to leave with.

I jerk my arm away. “What the hell are you doing?”

Max stops in his tracks, and I stagger and fall into his six-foot frame. “I’m saving your ass.”

I throw my hands on my hips. “My ass didn’t need saving, it needs to get laid.”

Max laughs and shakes his head. “Yeah, you probably do need that. You’ve been extra bitchy lately.”

“Hey.” I smack his arm.

He wraps his arms around my shoulders and leads me up the steps to reach the bar overlooking the dance floor. Once we’re up there he turns us around so we can watch the people dancing. “When you give up your cookie again, don’t give it to a guy like that.”

My eyes search the crowd until they land on the beautiful stranger I was just dancing with who now has that magical tongue in some blonde bimbo’s mouth. I roll my eyes and wish my short legs were long enough to reach up and kick my own ass. “I’m such an idiot. Thanks, Max.”

Max squeezes my shoulder. “Of course, what are friends for? You’re too good for a guy like that. Don’t ever date another tattooed, biker jerk like Jackson. They don’t understand how special you are.”

I sigh and lean my head on Max’s shoulder. “Why can’t you be straight? You’re the perfect man for me.”

He chuckles beside me. “My life would be a whole lot easier if I was. Come on. Let’s get your drunk-ass home before I have to peel you off another huge mistake with a penis.”

We turn and leave the club. Once outside, and away from the sexy man who had me ready to chuck everything I stand for in order to have one sinful night, I feel relieved. I have no idea how this guy had so much power over me, but at least I never have to see him again. Too much time alone with a man like him would have me breaking every personal rule I’ve ever set for myself. Thank God that’ll never happen.

Chapter 2

I Knew You Were Trouble

Holly

Why the hell is it eighty-seven million degrees in this store? I know we’re poor and our family business is barely staying afloat, but damn—a little air conditioning would be nice.

I re-adjust the fan on the counter, allowing the air to blow directly on me. It’s disgustingly hot in here and my gray Mountain Time Speed Track uniform doesn’t help the situation. It allows zero airflow to my skin and it’s taking every bit of energy I have to not curl up under the counter and sleep off my hangover from last night.

I glance around, and when I’m sure there are no customers lurking about, I unbutton my top and stuff it under the counter. Immediately I’m relieved. The white wife-beater I have on is soaked with sweat, but at least now when the hot air whips across my skin, it feels a little cooler. Dad and I are going to have to have a serious talk about this uniform situation if he doesn’t cool this place down soon. He says it adds class and professionalism when the employees have clothing assignments. Poor Dad has been implementing every “make your small business successful” tip out of all those financial magazines he’s been reading lately.

I gather my long, blonde hair into a messy bun on the top of my head and grab the spray bottle I’ve been using to keep cool. I tip my head back, close my eyes and douse my bare skin in water. A little sigh of pleasure slips from my lips as the relief of being cool finally wafts over me.

“Damn. If I’d known I was going to see an erotic show in here I would’ve brought some singles with me.” My eyes snap open and land on a tattooed arm in front of me holding two hundred-dollar bills. “You’ll have to show a little more skin if you want me to stuff hundreds down your pants, sweetness. Only a damn good show ever earns those.”

My gaze travels up the toned arm and shoulder, until it finally lands on an absurdly handsome face. A light beard covers his chin, while a baseball cap covers most of his shaggy, dark hair. His bright green eyes dance with amusement and his plump lips pull up on one side, revealing a devilish smirk. It’s like the face of Adonis staring right at me and it makes my stomach flip.

Holy shit! It’s him. The green-eyed devil from the club I never wanted to see again.

“Wow. Really?” I snatch the money from his hand a little harder than I mean to and do my best to pretend that I don’t know him since he seems to have forgotten we nearly had sex last night. “How much time do you need?”

“Easy there, sugar tits, no need to be bitchy. I’m plenty fun once you lose that stick up your ass,” Adonis says before winking at me.

Ugh. I bunch my eyebrows and my lip curls. What. A. Pig. And he actually has the nerve to fucking wink at me without mentioning something—anything—about last night?

This asshole has some balls.

This one is far worse than the typical biker boys that come here pretending like they’re the next bad-ass motocross rider on earth. Those guys I can handle. They don’t make my body hum with need or do something totally out of character, like sleep with a stranger.

Since Jackson broke up with me, all the guys around here have been giving me their best lines. I’m just not ready to actually date someone else. Jackson was someone I trusted. What he did nearly broke me. I’m not ready to put my heart out there again.

I’ve been shooting the wind out of all the proverbial sails belonging to men who have been trying to gain my attention lately. All it takes is my are-you-kidding-me-you-don’t-have-a-shot-in-hell look and they turn tail and run—never looking back or giving me any more problems. Like I told Max, I’m done with guys for a while. I never ever want my heart broken again. Just because I let my guard down and kissed this one last night doesn’t change anything. If I’d known I would ever see him again, I wouldn’t have let things get that far.

Looks like I’ll have to kick my bitch factor up a couple of notches to throw this one off my scent. “You look about as much fun as an albino getting sunburn. Now, how much time do you want on the track?”

“All business, aren’t you?” His gaze trails up and down my body as he rakes his teeth over his bottom lip nice and slow. “You always this difficult? Because I have to say, you seem like a girl that could be a lot of fun if she let loose.”

I roll my eyes and sigh, trying to decide if I can get away with cussing him out and telling him there’s no chance in hell he’ll ever get close to me again. Been there, done that, so not doing it again.

By the looks of his tattoos and bad-boy swagger, I can tell he’s like all the other guys that come in here. Most never have their shit together, and still live at home with their mommies so they can play video games all day—so not attractive.

I open my mouth to tell him to give up now, but quickly close it as my father’s shaking head pops into mind like my guilty little conscience. Always treat the customer with respect, even when they are rude to us—that’s Dad’s number one rule. So I do my best to push my personal distain for this guy out of my mind and turn on my cold indifference. “Time?”

Tattooed Adonis leans against the counter and grins. He’s looking at me like he’s contemplating taking me on as a challenge, so I stare back at him with raised eyebrows. “Tell me, sugar tits, did the last guy get your panties in a bunch? I’ll be happy to untwist them, if you like? You’d be amazed how it’ll pop that stick right out of your ass. And with a fine-ass body like yours, I’m a great volunteer and I’d consider it a public service.”

My mouth gapes open and I stare at him in shock. That’s it—to hell with keeping the peace in order to gain his business—this jerk has pushed me too far. “Listen here, buddy, my panties are none of your concern. As for your time, you can shove your money right up your—”

“Holly,” my father scolds as he comes bursting through the front door of the shop, a scowl on his face. I sigh heavily. “I can hear you clear outside. Why are you yelling at our guest?”

The jerk focuses his eyes directly on me and smiles like a spoiled kid getting his way while waiting for me to explain to my father. “I...he...ugh! Why don’t you ask him why?” I mutter, flinging my hands in the guy’s direction. I’m so flustered I can’t even speak.

I can’t believe I almost slept with this guy. I’ll have to kiss Max later for saving me from that giant mistake.

This stranger is frustrating, but I’m dying to see the look on his face when he tries to explain himself to Dad.

Dad scratches at the thinning hair on the top of his head nervously as he glances over at Adonis. I fold my arms across my chest while taking my turn wearing a smug grin. Adonis is so going to get it for being rude to me. My dad never lets that slide. He knows how the guys around here have been treating me lately. I know he won’t stand for it.

Dad frowns and his thin shoulders sag a bit. “I’m sorry, Mr. Douglas. My daughter is normally very polite to all of our guests. Please don’t inform your boss about this. I would hate to see him lose interest in partnering with the track because of Holly’s momentary lack of self-control. I can assure you it’s not a recurrent problem.”

My mouth gapes open. Not only is my father not defending me, he’s apologizing to the pig? I take a deep breath and allow my father’s words to sink in.

Oh. Shit. “Wait. This guy? He’s here to check out the track for the investor?”

Adonis grins even wider as he extends his tattooed arm towards me. “That’s right, sugar ti—” His head snaps towards my father and he quickly clears his throat, realizing he just managed to catch himself before sexually harassing me in front of Dad. “I’m Trip Douglas. It looks like you and I will be getting cozy while you show me the ins and outs of this place.”

I stare down at his hand. Ugh. This is so not happening to me. Our family business is going down the freaking toilet and I have to depend on the guy who thinks with his dick to pull us out of the hole? Maybe the investor can send someone else? Anyone else! No way is some rich, old dude relying solely on Trip’s judgments of the place to make a huge financial commitment? This guy can’t be trusted with something so important. This guy can’t stick with the same woman for five minutes, let alone see such a huge business deal through.

Trip wiggles his fingers at me. “Come on. They won’t bite.”

Dad needs this partnership to work for the sake of the track. He told me last week how important it was for this business to get it. If it doesn’t go through, we’re in big trouble.

Reluctantly, I take his hand. It’s warm and rough against my own skin and it’s hard not to think about the way he felt pressed against me last night as he gives it a couple of quick shakes. “Holly Pearson.”

He rubs his thumb across the back of my hand in slow, deliberate circles and I don’t like what that little movement might be trying to imply. I’ve had about enough of him touching me slowly. I’m not interested now, not after I saw that I was just some random chick to him.

He smiles. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

I roll my eyes and jerk my hand away from his grip, trying to get rid of the tingle that’s left in the wake of his touch. “So what did you need again? Track time?” I quickly ask.

Trip doesn’t answer—his brain obviously overloaded from his constant fixation on my chest—so I clear my throat and fold my arms, blocking his view of my boobs.

“Holly, Mr. Douglas isn’t a paying customer. If he rides, it’s free,” Dad says.

He shakes his head like he’s coming out of a daze. I didn’t know my breasts could be that damn mesmerizing. “You know, Mr. Pearson, now that I’ve been in here, I want to start going over the books. The track test can wait for another day. It will be good to know what kind of shape this place is in financially. Everything else is fixable.”

“We’re actually in great shape,” I snap, not liking the idea of some strange man invading our family business—especially one that I’m totally uncomfortable being in close quarters with for any period of time. I wish I hadn’t liked what he’d done to me last night so damn much. “Besides, I doubt you can read them. You know they have no pictures, right?”

He leans in and braces his hands on the countertop across from me, a cool smile on his lips. “Don’t let the tattoos fool you, sweetness. There’s a stellar mind behind these good looks.” He cocks his head to the side, giving me a look that I bet gets girls to do anything he wants. “You’ll find out that I can pick a person’s brain like no other. And that’s why I’m here...to pick yours.”

I growl and grip the counter tight to keep me from jumping over it and smacking that beautiful smile off his face. He is one smug bastard. I can’t stand guys like him. It only makes it worse he’s acting like he doesn’t even know who I am. “You’re welcome to leave any time you want. I don’t need you to pick my brain or anything else connected to me or my family’s business!”

“Holly!” my father warns so loudly I jump. “In my office now!”

A quick check of my dad’s face tells me he’s not joking around. With his eyes narrowed at me, he points his long, bony finger at his door. Even the vein in his forehead is popping out beneath his dark-brown hair. That little monster is usually reserved for when I’m in really deep shit. I stare up at Dad and nod.

I swallow hard and glance down at the counter, instantly feeling guilty for upsetting my dad. I don’t enjoy disappointing him. He’s got enough on his plate to worry about with the business collapsing, without having an unruly twenty-year-old daughter on his hands.

Just before I hang my head down, I glance at Trip and he frowns. I should apologize, it’s the right thing to do, but with guys like him I just can’t bring myself to do it. Egotistical pretty-boys think an apology is an invitation into my pants. No way do I want to give him that impression. He had his chance last night and he blew it. He won’t be getting another.

I straighten my back, stiffen my shoulders and march into my father’s office without giving Trip Douglas a second look.

Last year, in an attempt to bring in extra income, my dad converted his office into storage rental for customers that needed a place to store their bikes and equipment. The cramped space that was once a broom closet is now what my father calls an office. A small metal desk sits in the in the center and hogs every inch of space—and most of the oxygen—in the room. The space is what some people would consider claustrophobic. There’s no relaxing view. Hell, there’s not even a window, but I like it. It’s quiet my escape when I need to collect my thoughts when my day gets too crazy.

The bland white walls are covered with photographs of my father smiling—pictures of him with MX sponsors, pro-athletes, me, Jackson and even Grace, A.K.A. my mom. Don’t let the name fool you—there’s nothing graceful about the woman who is nothing more than my egg donor. She’s part of the reason this business is failing and why my life is slowly being sucked down the drain. The photos are a constant reminder that my once-happy life is now non-existent, which is pretty freaking depressing. Come to think of it, next time my father’s out of sight I’m taking those pictures of her down and torching them. I hate being reminded of her. It’s bad enough I look so much like her.

Dad follows behind me and shuts the door. After he squeezes around me, he plops down in his squeaky, green chair that’s older than I am—it even has the duct-tape to prove it.

He shuffles the piles of papers around on his desk. It’s the signature move he does while he gathers his thoughts—it gives the impression he’s busy.

I know what he’s going to say even before he does and I open my mouth to apologize, but he beats me to the punch.

“Holly, I know this is hard for you. It’s hard for me too, bringing a stranger in and allowing him access to everything I’ve—this family—has worked so hard for all these years. I don’t like it any more than you do, but these are the cards we’ve been dealt, honey. If this man doesn’t help us, we’ll lose everything.” I see the sadness in his eyes as he explains.

I hear what he’s saying and I completely understand, but my reservations still stick. If I could tell him why I don’t think Trip can be trusted, maybe he would see my side, but I know I can’t do that. Not without appearing sleazy for throwing myself at a random man in a bar. I would get the “I raised you better than that” speech. “But, Dad, this guy? He doesn’t look like he knows anything about running a business. Did you get a good look at him? He looks like every other biker we’ve seen on the track, and you know they aren’t always the brightest crayons in the box.”

Dad drags his fingers through his thinning hair. His hair, like the rest of his body is withering away. He’s lost so much weight over the last couple months—it makes his six-foot-two frame seem even taller. The stress is really getting to him. “Holly, I know what this place means to you. I’m grateful that you left school and to come home and help me out, but this place isn’t your cross to bear. It’s mine. This place is my dream, and it makes me feel like I failed as your father because I willingly allowed you to throw away your dream of finishing college to come back here to help me. If I can just get this place back into the black you can go back to school, like you planned. Convincing Trip to get this investor on board will make that happen. You can get your life back.”

I frown as I walk around the desk and wrap my arms around my father. “Dad, I made the choice to come back here because I wanted to. You were here, and Jackson. You and this track are my life. Just because I’m not with Jackson anymore doesn’t mean I regret my decision. I love it here. This place is my home and I want to help in anyway I can to save it.” Dad smiles. “Besides, I can always get a loan once we get this place back on its feet. Ohio State isn’t going anywhere any time soon. It’s you and me. And we stick together.”

He folds his arms around me and pats the back of my head. “We do make a pretty great team, don’t we? Since your mom left—”

I stiffen in his embrace and cut him off before he goes down memory lane about Grace. “Let’s not talk about her.”

Dad sighs as I pull away and lean back against the desk. “All right but, honey, please try and be civil to Trip. I really want this to work out. We need him to like us.”

I roll my eyes. As much as it kills me, I know I have to play nice. “I’ll try, but I swear if he comes on to me like the rest of the goons around here, I promise I won’t show any mercy.”

He chuckles. “I would expect nothing less from you. Just please don’t rip his head off. I can’t afford a lawsuit. I’m trying to get money from him, not give it.”

We both laugh because it’s no secret around this track that I’m quick witted and unafraid to put any man in his place. I’m one tough, general operations manager. This may be a male-dominated sport, but at Mountain Time Speed Track it’s most definitely a woman’s world.

––––––––

TRIP

I rub my forehead, wishing I could take back the last five or so beers past my limit I drank last night. Walking into this place with a hangover wasn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had. Thank God Mr. Pearson wasn’t insistent I check out the track first. I would’ve puked after the first five minutes of riding.

I didn’t mean to get that hot blonde in trouble with her dad. Flirting with beautiful women mercilessly is my favorite past time. I can’t help myself. And Holly Pearson is one fine piece of ass. No doubt about that. She reminds me a lot of that blonde I kissed last night, or at least I think I kissed last night. Things started getting hazy after my tenth drink, or maybe it was the twelfth drink. Alcohol has a way of fucking up my brain and making shit a blur. The blonde was smoking hot too. One minute she was grinding her ass against my dick, causing me nearly to come in my jeans, the next minute she was gone, dragged off by another guy. Lucky bastard was probably her boyfriend.

So, I had to find some random chick. I couldn’t let a good hard-on go to waste. One of these nights I’m going back to that club while I’m in town to find that girl. It’s a shame her face is kind of a blur today.

I glance up at the clock on the wall. Mr. Pearson and Holly have been gone for nearly ten minutes and there’s no sign of them coming out any time soon.

Holly is really feisty. I’m going to have to figure out a way to make her my friend if I’m going to be here for the next four weeks. I hate tension. It bugged the fuck out of me when Noel and Riff fought. I’m so glad that shit’s over. That kind of shit wears on a persons sanity after a while, which is why I need to squash whatever problem Holly has with me. Most women giggle and love it when I put the moves on them. It’s an ego boost to them. But this one loathes me and I don’t have a fucking clue why.

It’s totally obvious she has no clue who the hell I am because she seemed rather appalled by me, which never happens. Most people turn into over-pleasing twits around celebrities. It’s fucking annoying not to be able to get the truth out of people.

I drum my fingers on the countertop, tapping out the beat of a new song my twin brother and band-mate, Tyke, and I have been working on for the past couple weeks. With a few minor tweaks I think we’ll have the next Black Falcon hit-single ready to record when we finally head back into the studio next month.

I really miss working. Black Falcon and the rest of the guys are my life. I love everything about my job, and I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I consider myself the best fucking drummer in the business. I can pound out grungy, raw beats like nobody in the business, and the combination of my beats and Tyke’s bass flowing in sync creates magic that’s often emulated, but never duplicated. No one can rock the beat like we can. Black Falcon is unique and our bond as a band is stronger now than ever before. It might make me a pussy for saying this but I’ll admit, when we’re not all together I feel a little homesick.

If it weren’t for women getting in the way of our work, we’d be on the road right now touring. The whole situation pisses me off a bit.

Yeah, I know. Sure, Lane and Aubrey are great chicks and have done wonders in getting Noel and Riff to settle down and become friends again, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t cramping the rest of our styles. It’s been over a month since I banged a random groupie and I hate this fucking dry-spell. It makes me edgy, which is why I had to go out to a club in Tucson last night and find a random piece of ass. I needed to take the edge off.

The thought of throwing Holly down on this counter and fucking her seven different way from Sunday entered my head about a thousand times during our little heated discussion. Girls with attitude are hot and she’s exactly my type—a petite blonde with perfect tits. Even when she was mean as hell to me, all I could think about was kissing that rude mouth of hers.

See what I mean? I can’t function without sex—it’s like a fucking drug. I’m used to getting it daily, and when you don’t get what you crave, you’ll find your fix wherever you can. Which is why that lay last night, even as lousy as it was, was a blessing. I was at least able to keep why I was actually here on my mind and not be completely distracted by those perky, little tits of Holly’s.

Going undercover at this dirt bike racing track, looking at it as a potential investment will be good for me. I need to branch out a bit. I’ve gotten bored with all the time off Noel and Riff have need lately. Both of them decided to run off and start families—I get it—but that does nothing for me. I need something else to occupy my time. If I’d had to sit in the house with my brother and work on one more song I swear to God I would’ve gone nuts. Noel and Riff are killing me with their need for all this personal time off.

What about me? What about my needs?

I say drag those strollers on the tour bus and let’s get the fuck back on the road where the action is.

I can’t see myself ever settling down with one woman for the rest of my life. Not because I couldn’t mind you, but because I don’t want to. That lifestyle is for pussies. Fuck the estrogen-induced life Riff and Noel are leading.

I’ve tried monogamous dating before and that shit went horribly wrong. Never again. NEVER. It’s just not for me. How does that saying go—burn me once, or some shit?

The office door swings open without warning and I straighten my stance. Holly comes out first just as the circulating fan blows in her direction. Fallen strands of her blonde hair whip back off her face and she sets her blue eyes on me. For some reason the sight of her hits me like a rock video set in slow motion. I mean, I noticed she was sexy before, but from this angle I’ve got a hell of a view.

Her long, slender legs move her voluptuous body right to me. There’s a confidence in her step that’s undeniable and makes her really fucking sexy. Sure, there are women who would turn any man’s head around me all the time, but this one has something special. Too special for someone like me, but it still sort-of hurts my ego that she turned me down. I’m not used to that.

Holly walks around the counter to face me and I smile. As much as I wouldn’t mind fucking this girl, I need to keep my dick in my pants. I need her on my side—sleeping with her would only complicate the hell out of this business deal.

No way do I want to deal with a woman I’ve one-nighted for years to come. That’s just bad for business.

She sighs and holds out her hand. “I think we got off on the wrong foot, and I’d like us to start over. I’m Holly.”

I take her dainty little hand into mine, and as much as my dick is urging me to use my typical game on her, I refrain. I squeeze her hand and give it a couple firm shakes. “Trip Douglas. I look forward to working with you, Holly.”

Her eyes narrow for a split-second, but as soon as I let go of her hand and shove both of mine deeply in my pockets to show her I’m done trying to be touchy-feely, her expression changes and a polite smile touches her lips.

She’s got a great fucking smile.

As my fingers itch to touch her soft skin again, I roll them into fists and fight the urge. As hot as I think she is, nothing can ever happen with her. I can’t give into the want I feel for her.

“Can we go over the books later? I was actually getting ready to grab lunch,” Holly says. “We can start afterwards.”

“Great,” Mr. Pearson says as he comes out of the office. “Holly can show you to your room when she gets her lunch.”

Her head whips in his direction. “What do you mean his room?”

Mr. Pearson frowns at Holly. “I forgot to mention that part, honey. Trip will be staying in the guest room while he’s here. We talked about it when I showed him around earlier. It’ll be good for him to be with us and see how we operate this family business.”

She opens her mouth to protest about me staying in her home, but quickly closes it when her dad tilts his head and slides his gaze toward her. Mr. Pearson was kind enough to offer me a place to stay while I’m here checking out the track. He wanted me to feel welcome and expressed to me how much he hopes this deal works out.

Their family house is located on the same property as the track, literally a stone’s throw from the office. It’ll save me from having to drive back and fourth from that shitty hotel I stayed in last night. Besides, it’ll be nice not to live in a hotel for once while I’m on the road.

I watch Holly fidget. I can tell the idea of me staying with them makes her uncomfortable. That’s not a good sign if I want my plan of making her like me to work. “Mr. Pearson, it’s fine. I don’t mind staying at the hotel.”

He dismisses me with a wave of his hand. “Don’t be silly, son. Staying in a hotel is pricey. Do you know what a month’s stay would cost? We have a spare room and we’d be happy to have you. Besides, Mr. Johnson from the bank already has my contact information and knows that he can contact you here for updates. I want your boss to know we are a trustworthy family.”

Shit. I forgot about that. Does it make me a tool for lying to them about the fact that I’m really the investor? I hope not. I’m not doing it to be cruel. It’s just important to me to keep my identity concealed. I want to see how my money will be used on a daily basis. I don’t want any special treatment getting in the way of that.

When I sent my investment banker on the quest to find me a business opportunity involving motocross, I couldn’t have been more pleased when he found me this sinking diamond in the rough. Mr. Pearson has fallen behind on his payments and the bank is only a couple of months away from foreclosing. It was once a lucrative business, but for some reason, over the last couple of years, business has drastically declined. That’s why I’m here. I want to figure out what makes this place tick, discover if my money can help fix it up and put this place back on the map as a premier training facility for riders.

But, I don’t want the Pearson’s to know all that. For the time being I’m happy having them think that I’m just some biker sent here by their bank.

I nod, believing that, in order to play my role of a poor biker guy, staying with them is best. “Okay then. Sounds great. I already have my things in the car, anyhow. The place I stayed in last night had the most uncomfortable bed. I planned on finding a new one today.”

“Fantastic. Honey, would you mind showing Trip his room,” Mr. Pearson says with a sparkle of excitement in his eyes.

Holly sighs heavily before saying, “Come on. Follow me.”

Mr. Pearson smiles at Holly like a proud father. That must’ve been some talk in that office. Before I turn to leave, I extend a hand to him. “Thanks again for having me out, Mr. Pearson. I know the investor is really excited about the business.”

Our hands clap together on contact. “Call me Bill. Mr. Pearson was my father.”

I laugh. “Fair enough.”

Bill asks, “What’s your boss like? Mr. Johnson wouldn’t tell me much about him—only that he’s a man with a lot of money itching to get his hands into something dealing with motocross.”

Bill seems like a nice guy, and he would probably be okay with who I am. I seriously doubt he’s a fan and so he wouldn’t flip his shit if he found out, but I resist spilling my secret. I simply shrug. “He’s a good guy. I’ve known him all my life, but he prefers to keep a low profile. My friend recently came into a lot of money. He loves the outdoors and thought this business would be a great fit with his adventurous streak. He knows I like to ride bikes and that I’m good with business and large dollar amounts, so he asked me to come here and check out the place. I’ve got his information and, after the month is over, I’ll report back to him with my opinion.”

He nods. “It’s nice to know we’re dealing with a decent guy. For a minute there I was starting to worry he was some big name celebrity who really wouldn’t give a crap about wanting to turn this place around.”

That makes me laugh and I shake my head. Bill Pearson may be smarter than I initially thought. “You’re right. Celebrities are a pain in the ass. But trust me when I say my friend has the best of intentions when it comes to this place.”

I turn towards Holly, who is waiting for me patiently by the front door.

I pull my ball cap down further over my brow to cover more of my face and slip outside with a girl who I’m convinced hates me. That is, until she looks at me and smiles.

It’s then I notice that not only is she hot, but she’s beautiful. I mean, I knew she was pretty, but out here with the sunlight on her hair, wearing a smile that could light up the entire fucking world, my breath actually fucking catches. I shake my head to clear all those sappy thoughts away. What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t think like that. Ever. If I ever said something like that around the guys, I would never hear the fucking end of it.

The expression on her face fades just as quickly as it appeared as she catches me shaking my head because I’m disgusted with myself. “Dad likes you. I hope you’re a good guy and do right by him and this place.”

Great. She probably thinks I was being a jackass or something. If I told her the truth about why I was shaking my head, it would be ten times worse. I need to keep myself in check and remind myself to stay focused. Seeing Holly Pearson naked, moaning my name below me can never happen.

Chapter 3

Rude Boy

HOLLY

The metal keys feel like lead in my hand as I pull them from my pocket to let us into the house. The idea of sleeping under the same roof as this sexy man makes me feel a little uneasy. Even though I would never allow anything to happen between us, it doesn’t stop my eyes from lingering on him longer than they should—I’m only human and I’m not blind. I’m going to admire the view even though I know his breed of asshole is bad news. I’ve seen the way he is with women and I will not allow myself to be some conquest to him.

“This is a nice place,” Trip says from behind me as I twist the key and push the door open.

“Thanks. It’s not much, but it’s home,” I answer politely and glance over my shoulder at him, knowing he’s only saying that to be nice.

Trip stares up, studying the rafters in our unfinished porch. The idea that he’s judging us on the looks of the place makes me stiffen. Like most things around here, Dad never had the time or money to get around to actually completing it. Not that he doesn’t want to, but things cost money, and that’s one thing we haven’t had very much of in a while. At the rate we’ve been going, we’re lucky to keep the electricity on.

I open the door wide and step back. “Welcome.”

He smirks and shakes his head before sweeping his hand out in front of him. “Ladies first.”

I roll my eyes and shrug. I flip on the light in the small foyer as Trip closes the door. Even though it’s two in the afternoon, we still have to waste electricity running the lights all day because of how dark it stays in this old farmhouse. I was just a baby when Grace, and Dad bought this place. It had been a fixer-upper, but had all the potential for my dad to realize his dream of opening a dirt-bike track. Twenty years later it still needs a lot of fixing.

As a kid, the condition of this place used to embarrass me, but now that I’m older and understand the concept of money, I’m just glad we have a roof over our head. I don’t care what people think about me anymore.

“How long have you lived here?” Trip asks as he walks around, peeking his head in the living room and the kitchen to inspect the place.

“All my life.” My feet find the first step on the staircase. “Your room is up here.”

His eyes follow the staircase to the second level. “I was thinking, why not start with a tour of your room instead?”

I shake my head as he follows me up the stairs. “That’s never going to happen.”

He laughs behind me. “If denying how much you want me makes you sleep better at night, have at it.”

At the top of the landing I turn around and Trip stops one step below me, so our eyes are level. I’m about two seconds from ripping into him and telling him how disgusted I am that he doesn’t even remember me, but I decide if he’s going to play dumb, than so am I. “There are two bedrooms up here. The door to your right is mine, and the door on the left is yours. The door at the end is the bathroom. We’ll have to share it.”

His green eyes dart from one side of the hall to the other, checking out the tan walls and white doors with caution. “So it’s just the two of us up here alone?”

I tilt my head and narrow my eyes. “Is that going to be a problem for you?”

He sets his foot on the top step and leans into me a bit, closing the gap between us. “Not for me, but can’t say the same for you.”

I fold my arms under my boobs, drawing his attention to my chest again. I could kick myself right now for not putting my uniform top back on. “Why would that be a problem for me?”

Trip smirks. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you giving me the old fuck-eye. I’d say in a week or so I’ll have to keep my door bolted shut to keep you from sneaking in and having your way with me.”

I let out a bitter laugh. What a self-centered jerk. “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not my type.”

He studies my face. After a few seconds he raises his eyebrows as it appears he’s had a flash of memory, because a gleam of recognition flashes in his eyes. “You sure about that? It didn’t seem that way last night.”

The blood drains from my face. Shit. He does remember. “That was a drunken mistake. I wasn’t myself last night. Trust me that won’t be happening again anytime soon.”

“I told you, sweetness, I can read people. It’s sort of my thing. Sooner or later you’re going to have to admit to yourself that you’re into me. I drank a lot at the bar and I thought you looked like the girl from last night, but I wasn’t sure. Not until just now, that is. In this dark hallway, you look just the same as you did last night. You wanted me too. I know you did. I could feel it in your kiss.”

“Like I said. You’ve got no chance in hell with me.”

“Really?” He laughs heartily and steps onto the landing in front of me and his face is suddenly serious. “I’d say you were pretty damn close to allowing me to have my way with you last night. If your boyfriend hadn’t dragged you away, we would’ve had a great time. Where is he now, anyway?”

“My love life isn’t your concern.” He steps closer to me and I shake my head and take a step backwards. He’s trying to bait me into playing his game by closing the distance. “This isn’t going to work on me, you know.”

Trip scrunches his brow. “What isn’t?”

I wave my hands in front of me, directing attention to his body. “This...your whole bad-boy charm. I’m immune to it. I don’t sleep with guys I don’t know.”

He traces a line down my arm with his finger. “Sweetheart, I haven’t even begun to charm you yet. When I do, I promise I won’t have to ask twice to get you naked. You’ll be begging for me to take you and make your body feel good, just like you were last night.”

I roll my eyes and try to pretend my heart isn’t pounding fifty miles an hour. “You are so full of shit.”

He licks his lip, and stares into my eyes so intensely I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from making any noise while under his powerful gaze. “I know you’re trying real hard to make yourself believe what you’re saying. Honestly, I find your self-preservation charming. But I happen to know women are defenseless when I set out to seduce them.”

I lift my chin. “I highly doubt you can get any woman you want. I hope that’s not what you’re trying to do with me, because if it is, I can assure you, you’re failing miserably.”

“When I decide I want something, I get it. Always. Failure isn’t in my vocabulary.”

The determination in his eyes makes my legs weak. There’s no doubt in my mind he can get most women to do whatever he wants when there’s pure alpha male radiating from him. But I’m not most women, and he won’t be making me another notch on his undeniably sexy bedpost any time soon.

He takes another step. “Admit that you like me.”

I shake my head as he takes another step, followed by another until my back is pinned against the wall. “No.”

Trip bites his lip and leans into me and places two fingers against my neck like he’s checking my pulse. “Then tell me, sweetness. Why is your heart racing? You can deny it all you want, but you’ll only be able to fight what your body wants for so long.”

My breath catches. He makes me nervous and I don’t like the effect he’s having on me. I wish he was wrong about my stupid body wanting him.

I clear my throat and shove myself away from him, needing to get away from him. “If you need anything other than sexual favors you just let me know.”

Before he can say anything else, I slip into my room and close the door behind me. I press my back into the door and sigh. Damn, I wish he wasn’t right. I do feel some strange pull toward him, but I’ll be damned if I give in to it and get my heart broken again.

I stay still until I hear his footsteps go back downstairs and then the front door shut. I slide down the door and take a deep breath. Trip is more intense than I’m used to. Sure, in a place overrun with men, guys come onto me all the time, but this one? He’s different. I’ve never had a man so sure of himself approach me like that. Most guys in come into the shop and tell me I’m hot or have a great ass and then get pissed when I don’t drop my panties fast enough for them.

I’m done dating jerks.

I have to put a tougher bubble in place around me. This guy isn’t going to take no for an answer, which may be a problem seeing as how I have to be in close proximity to him for a month. That, and the fact that he’s quite possibly the most attractive man I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Before I have time to think on it any further, my cell phone whistles with a text message.

Kara: Missed you at the Alpha Gamma Sigma party. These things aren’t the same without you.

I smile as I read her message. Kara is a girl I met back at Ohio State. We were a package deal last year when it came to parties. I hate the fact that I dropped out of college after my spring semester was over this year. I hoped Kara and I would be together my entire time there seeing as how we were both studying to be psychologist.

Holly: Miss you too. How is everyone?

Kara: Everyone is exactly the same. Summer break didn’t change things much.

Holly: Tell them I said hello.

Kara: Will do. Has Jackson begged for your forgiveness yet?

Holly: No, he’s been keeping his distance and only talking to me when he has business at the track.

Kara: He deserves a swift kick in the balls for what he did to you.

The thought of Jackson and what he did to me makes my blood boil. The last thing I want to do right now is think about him. For the last two weeks it’s been torture seeing him around the town knowing how he betrayed me. For once I wish there was another track in town he could train on. He hasn’t been to the track since that night in my room, but I know he can only stay away so long. He has to have a place to train seeing as he’s becoming a professional rider.

Holly: Agreed.

My answer is simple. I hope it’s enough to pacify her so she will drop the topic.

I sigh in relief as her next text comes through.

Kara: Gotta get to class. Miss you! XOXOX

I shove myself off the floor and stuff my phone back in my pocket. Kara’s text couldn’t have come at a better time. The mention of Jackson only solidifies the need for me to be done dating guys for a while. And by a while I mean probably forever. I just can’t trust them, and if I can’t trust them why would I hand over something as precious as my heart? They’ll just destroy it for the hell of it.

Especially someone like Trip Douglas. He has heartbreaker written all over him. I would like nothing more than to completely ignore him with the hope that he and his sexy body disappear. I’m going to have to fight hard to deny him considering I’ve already tasted his lips and my body already wants him—a woman can only be so good for so long.

After eating my lone peanut butter sandwich, I decide it’s time to go back to the main office. As much as I would like to, I can’t avoid Trip forever.

I lock the front door behind me and the gravel crunches under my feet as I trudge towards the office.

Like everything else around here, this building has seen better days. The posts on the front porch could use a fresh coat of paint and the building itself needs a few upgrades. The red brick is dull and dingy, with some of the mortar between them cracking and peeling away. The bushes are in great shape though thanks to a day’s worth of sweat from me out here trimming them up. I remember that day fondly. I saw Jackson at the local mall talking to Stella Charles, the girl I’d recently heard he’d been sleeping with all last year while I was away at college. I took all my aggression out on our poor shrubbery that day.

Max leans against the porch railing in his black and yellow riding gear as I approach. “A little late for work aren’t you? How many times did you barf?” Max asks as I close in on him.

I give him my best scowl. “A couple, thanks to you.”

He laughs and his brown, floppy hair bounces. I stick my tongue out at him and his brown eyes grow wide before he rushes over and grabs me up in a big bear hug. “Is that any way to treat your best friend who was trying to break you out of a funk on your birthday?”

I smack his chest as I try to wiggle out of his hold. “Who said you were my best friend? I should hate you for how much you let me drink last night.”

Max sets me down and dramatically throws his hands over his heart. “That wounds me deeply, Holly. It’s not like I didn’t warn you.”

I pull his hands down. “Stop it. You know I’m kidding. What girl wouldn’t want a best friend as handsome as you?”

He gives me a lopsided grin. “That’s more like it. Have you seen the new man-meat in the shop? He looks a lot like that guy from last night, only today he’s got a hat on.”

I shrug and toss my blond hair over my shoulder. “It is the same guy. Good thing I didn’t sleep with him, huh?”

His eyes widen. “Holy shit! What’s he here for? Did he track you down?”

I shake my head. “He’s here to inspect the track for that investor Mr. Johnson told Dad about.”

Max raises his eyebrows. “Really? He’s not exactly what I expected.”

“You’re preaching to the choir. He’s a real piece of work too—so full of himself. The Gods-gift type, you know. I owe you one for saving me from him last night.”

He folds his arms over his chest. “You telling me we have another Jackson on our hands?”

Jeesh, does everyone have to bring up Jackson today? “Ugh. I hope not. Trip claims to actually have a brain.”

Max grimaces. “Trip? What in the hell kind of name is that? Who would do that to a kid?” I stay quiet and he notices. “You don’t think it’s a weird name?”

“I don’t know. It’s not so bad.”

“What?” Max bends down to look me in the eye. “Wait a minute. You like him. I thought we talked about this last night?”

I open my mouth to protest but Max’s laugh cuts me off, and I grimace before arguing. “I do not.”

I start to turn away as the heat rises in my cheeks, but he grabs my arm. “Oh no you don’t. Don’t deny it—you’re into him. How quickly you forget that I’ve seen that look on your face before. Admit it. You got a thing for him. You still want to bang him, don’t you?”

I shake my head and shove his shoulder playfully. “Maybe it’s you that has a thing for him.”

His face gets pale. He hates it when I hint at his sexual preference within earshot of others. After he whips his head from side to side, making sure no one overheard, he sets his eyes on me. “Sometimes I wish that you didn’t know so much about me.”

I grin, knowing I’m the only one who knows his little secret. “You know that’s exactly why you love me.”

He wraps his arm around me and turns in plain view of the window looking into the shop where we can get a clear view of Trip. “That’s way too much man for you, Holly. A guy like that will chew you up and spit your little heart all over the sidewalk. You need to steer clear of that tasty piece of dangerous ass.”

I roll my eyes. “Seriously? When have I ever been interested in that type?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe since high school?”

“I’m completely over Jackson Cruze, and the bad-boy type. I was drunk last night and my judgment was off. I promise I won’t be letting my guard down again.”

“Really? After one day? Why do you still have those magazine covers of him hanging on your walls?”

“He’s the hottest motocross rider around. It’s good for our business when people find out that he trains here at this track,” I argue.

Max gives me a pointed look. “Keep telling yourself that, Blondie.”

I shrug his arm off my shoulder. “Ugh. Whatever. Let’s not talk about Jackson anymore.”

He smirks. “Why? Got your eye on someone new?”

“I told you, I don’t like him!” I gesture towards the window where we last saw Trip.

Shit.

At the same moment I realize Trip is gone, a voice behind me stops me dead in my tracks. “I hope you’re not talking about me. You’ll break my heart if you are.”

I could kill Max right now. I narrow my eyes at my best friend and do my best to send him a telepathic message that he’s dead meat before turning to face Trip, wearing the sweetest smile I can muster. Against my better judgment, I have to force myself to be nice to this guy. Like Dad said, we need him to like us. “Of course not. I don’t even know you well enough to not like you yet.”

He leans casually against the doorframe that leads inside the office. The rickety screen door is propped open with a red brick to allow more airflow into our hot-as-hell office, giving me a full view of Trip and that mouth-watering body of his. I jerk my eyes off his chiseled, tattoo-covered biceps and he chuckles. Damn it. He caught me looking. I have got to get his sexiness out of my mind.

Trip’s eyes flit to Max, like he’s testing to see if my gay best friend is my actually my boyfriend before deeming it safe to turn his heated gaze in my direction.

I glance over at Max and he holds up his hands, indicating he has no ties to me as Trip stares him down. Trip shifts his heady gaze from Max to me. “Well, I’m all for rectifying that problem.”

I shake my head. “You don’t take no for an answer very well, do you?”

“Not when it comes to something I want.”

I laugh. “And I’m guessing I’m something you want?”

He shrugs. “Maybe, I’m still making up my mind. Don’t worry, as soon as I decide, you’ll be the first to know.”

This guy does not give up. “Well, like I said, you and I are never going to happen. I’m not sleeping with you. You might as well get that idea out of your head right now. But whenever you’d like to go over the business aspects of the place, I’m all for it.”

I start to shoulder around him to get inside the office, but he grabs my wrist, halting me in my tracks, and the look in his eyes softens. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to piss you off. From now on, I’ll be a perfect gentleman. I want us to be friends.”

I stare up into his green eyes and take in his easy smile. He bites his bottom lip and all I can think about is how soft his lips were when he kissed me. I silently curse myself for thinking about his stupid mouth before I shake out of his grip. “Good. Come on, then.”

Chapter 4

Good Girls, Bad Guys

TRIP

I turn my head and watch Holly stalk off inside. I fold my arms over my chest and blow a frustrated breath through pursed lips. This isn’t good.

“She doesn’t hate you if that’s what you’re thinking,” the guy she was talking to says to me. I turn my gaze in his direction and he extends his right hand to me. “The name’s Max.”

I grip his hand in mine and give it a firm shake. “Trip.”

Max nods. “So I’ve been told.”

I ask the question that’s been burning in my brain since I placed him as the guy who’d dragged Holly away from me last night. “You her boyfriend or something?”

He grimaces and shakes his head like I’ve just insulted him. “God no. We’re just friends.”

Just friends I can work with. He must be gay. Any red-blooded guy would be proud to own up to tapping an ass like Holly’s, but...whatever.

I’m so glad she wasn’t my random fuck last night, although I bet she would’ve been ten times better than what I ended up with.

Damn it.

I have to stop thinking about her that way. She’s not some random chick I’ll never see again. There’s no ‘hump and dump’ option here. I need her on my side in order to get the low-down on this place. I can already tell she’s the key to making this a successful business venture.

I glance back in Holly’s direction and watch as she piles a bunch of binders on the counter. She doesn’t even look in my direction. “What makes you so sure she doesn’t hate my guts?”

Max grins wider than the Cheshire cat. “I was there last night. My girl in there doesn’t just let any guy get his lips on her. If she didn’t like you, she would’ve kneed you in the balls the moment you came on to her. Granted, she was drunk last night, and she’s going through some things, but she still allowed you to kiss her.”

I look him directly in the eye. “You seem awfully protective. You sure you’re not into her?”

He shakes his head. “She’s my best friend and I watch out for her. I don’t like to see her get hurt because she’s a good person and deserves better than what she’s been dealt lately. Holly’s a tough woman, but she’s also sweet and sensitive. If you aren’t sincere in your intentions toward her, I’m asking you to back off. She’s not ready for more heartbreak.”

I open my mouth to ask what he meant by that exactly when Holly calls my name. “Trip, you coming or not? I don’t have all day.”

Max takes a couple steps back. “I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

I nod as his words of warning flow through my mind. “Later, man, and thanks.”

“No problem. Good luck.” He laughs as he hops on his dirt bike and fires up the motor.

Inside, the stifling air is hard to ignore, but now I understand why they don’t turn the air on. Their business is failing and they need to save every penny they can. I yank my ball cap off and wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my wrist. The entire state of Arizona is hot as hell.

Holly’s eyes train on my hair and her lips twist. “Do you dye your hair? I didn’t notice how black it was last night.”

She leans over the counter to fetch the schedule. I eye her daisy-duke covered ass appreciatively while her head’s turned. If she catches me eye-fucking her, she’ll smack the shit out of me, but it’s worth the risk. Her ass is one hundred percent biteable and I curse myself for wanting a piece.

I run my hand through my hair, pushing it back off my face before slapping my hat back on. “Yeah. I like it jet-black. It helps people tell me and my twin brother apart.”

She tilts her head and leans on the counter across from me. “Is he identical?”

I nod. “He is, except for the hair. His is more of a sandy-blond color.”

“Huh.” The look on her face tells me she’s trying to figure out why I color my hair. Or worse, she’s figuring out who I am.

“You’ve got something on your mind.”

“No...well, yes. I was wondering something.”

“What’s that?”

She clears her throat. “I can see wanting to stand out from your brother when you’re little to help people tell you apart, but why do feel the need to do it as an adult?”

I sigh in relief. I was fully prepared for her to ask me about Black Falcon. “We work together.”

Her eyebrows crunch together. “Does he work for the same investor too?”

Fuck. Panic floods over me as I realize my slip up. Quickly, I try to cover my mistake. “No. I’m working for the investor as a favor. He and I are personal friends. My brother and I have our own business.”

“Doing what?”

“We, um...” I trail off, trying to think of a plausible lie. “Our family owns a...”—I glance around the counter and the cowtail candies catch my eye—“farm.”

She flinches at the same time I want to punch myself in the face for saying something so ridiculous. “What kind of farm?”

I don’t know the first thing about farming. Why in the fuck did I say that?

Holly stares at me expectantly and I clear my throat. “Cows. We farm cows.”

I want to fucking kill myself.

“Really?” She raises her brow. “Like a dairy farm? I’ve never seen a farmer look like you before.”

I nod. Milk, yes. That’s something I know about. I’ve seen people milk cows before on television not to mention I eat a ton of cereal and milk. “Yes, exactly like a dairy farm. We go out and milk the cows every morning by hand.”

She laughs. “Nice try. You almost had me for a minute. I know they get hooked up to machines for milking. I’ve seen that in a movie before. I didn’t know you had a sense of humor.”

I laugh too but it’s fake as hell, and I pray she can’t hear the nervousness in my voice. “There’s no fooling you.”

She leans across the counter with a smirk on her pretty pink lips. Without knowing she’s doing it, she gives me a perfect view of her boobs. “There’s a stellar mind behind these good looks, sweetheart,” Holly says while lowering her voice to imitate me.

Wow. Now she’s throwing my own lines back in my face, making me sound like a complete fucking moron. “Good one.”

Holly straightens her stance and pats her hand on the stack of black binders. Each one has enough papers to fill a phone book. “Come on, genius. We’ve got a lot of books to go over.”

I eye the stack and frown. “It’s all on paper?”

She nods. “Dad didn’t know how to work a computer when he started this place and never got around to converting all the books. Besides, computers cost a lot of money.”

I run my hand over my face. “This is going to take forever.”

She shrugs. “I know, so we might as well get going. The faster we get through all this, the quicker you can convince your boss this is a great place to invest in.”

It takes at least an hour for Holly to explain the set-up of all the paper documents and then another hour before I can even begin making sense of their system. No wonder this business is going to shit. There’s not even an accurate way to track the expenses. Apparently there are also shoeboxes full of receipts that Bill has never gotten around to adding into the budget. This is so not good. Updating the computers alone in this place is going to cost a pretty penny. I can only imagine what the track looks like. I’ll have to look into that tomorrow.

Holly interlocks her fingers and stretches her arms above her head, allowing the gray uniform top she’s wearing to ride up and bit and give me a peek at her toned stomach. “I need a break. What about you?”

I fold the page over in the book I’m reading through and rub my eyes. “I’m starving. Where’s a good place to eat around here?”

“If you drive into town, there are a few places.”

I tilt my head. “You don’t want to come with me?”

She shakes her head. “There’s stuff to make peanut butter sandwiches in the house.”

I knit my brow in confusion. “Peanut butter sandwiches for dinner?”

“Why not? It’s cheap and filling,” she argues.

I stand and find that my ass is all sweaty from sitting on the black, plastic stool for such a long period of time. “You aren’t eating that. Get your ass up. You’re coming to dinner with me.”

She frowns. “Really, I can’t go. I can’t afford it.”

Now I feel like a total jackass. “My treat. I’ve been a jerk to you since I got here. The least I can do is buy you dinner to make up for it. We can go anywhere you want.”

She drops her eyes to the counter while she thinks it over. “Okay. But this doesn’t change what I said earlier. I still won’t sleep with you.”

“I haven’t asked you to, have I?”

“Well...not in those exact words, but your actions—”

I grab her arm and haul her up off the stool. “Like I told you, if I intended on fucking you, you’d know it. Now quit talking nonsense and come on. I’m so hungry I’m about to gnaw my arm off.”

I don’t give her much choice in the matter. The caveman in me comes out and I pull her behind me out the door.

The sun setting over the mountainside helps cool down the intense September heat, but it doesn’t change it that drastically. Now instead of one hundred and five degrees, it’s a balmy eighty-eight. Whoever told me the high temperatures in Arizona were a different kind of heat to Kentucky was fucking loony. Eighty-eight is still fucking eighty-eight. It’s the kind of heat where it feels like a furnace is blowing directly on you and your balls stick to your leg. It’s fucking uncomfortable.

I continue to pull Holly along until we reach a black Mustang parked around back.

“WOW! How much do you make working for this investor? That car is beautiful.” Holly twists out of my hold and begins walking around the car slowly. “Is this a two thousand fourteen—a V-8?”

She runs her hand along the hood, caressing the sleek paint job. “I think so. It’s not mine. It’s a rental. I’m not much of a car fanatic. As long as it’s fast, I like it.”

Her head snaps up in my direction and her eyes widen. “Most guys won’t let anyone touch their baby, but since it’s not technically yours, will you let me drive it? I’ve always wanted to test one of these babies out.”

The gleam in her eye is the same one I get when I get a new set of drums, or find a hot piece of ass. When something you really want is within your grasp it’s easy to get that look of awe on your face. Fuck me. I never imagined a car would turn her on. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a woman get hot and bothered by a car.

“Sure.” I toss the keys over the hood and she catches them with quick, nimble fingers. “Anything to relieve that lady-boner of yours.”

“I should say you’re a perv for that remark, but since you’re letting me drive this beautiful machine, I’ll let that one slide.” A genuine smile toys with her lips and it’s nice to feel like we can actually be friends. “I can’t believe you’re letting me drive it. Do you know how much these things cost?”

I open my mouth to tell her money really isn’t a big deal for me but quickly close it, remembering this is the same girl that didn’t want to go out to grab a dinner with me because she didn’t have the money for a proper meal.

I shrug and play it cool. “No clue, but I’ve got insurance. Besides, if you scratch it, I can find more creative ways for you to pay me back.”

She rolls her eyes as she opens the driver’s door. “If you want to make it through the next month with your nuts fully intact, I suggest you cut all your bullshit and quit trying to get in my pants.”

I flop down in the passenger seat and glance over in her direction as she cranks the engine. As much as I know she’s right—nothing can ever happen between us—it doesn’t deter my normal, overly sexual personality. It’s just the way I communicate with women. They always respond the way I want them to.

Well, they usually do.

Holly is an entirely new breed of woman for me. She doesn’t give in easily to my bullshit lines, which is both frustrating and intriguing at the same time. It doesn’t help that she’s fucking beautiful, and I’ve tasted those perfect lips before.

I lean my head back against the headrest and allow my eyes to trace over every inch of her as she revs the motor and shifts gears. “You can drive stick. I’m impressed.”

Holly’s eyes cut towards me. “Why?”

“I guess it fits working on a track and all, but most hot girls can’t do it. I think they’re afraid they’ll break a nail or some shit.”

The tires bark as they meet the blacktop of the main stretch of road. “Not me. I love anything fast.”

The bare skin showing on her thighs as her shorts ride up while she works the clutch is nearly enough to make me go out of my mind. They’re so tanned and toned. I imagine her wrapping them around my waist and I have to restrain myself from biting my own knuckle and letting out a, “God damn”.

Holly notices me staring at her as she slides her eyes towards me. “What are you looking at?”

I smirk as I think about telling her the truth and trying one more time to get in her pants, but then remember I love my balls far too much to push her much more. So, I do what any respectable guy caught in my position would do, lie. “Just wondering why someone like you doesn’t have a boyfriend?”

Her brow furrows and her pretty pink lips twist. “Who says I don’t have one?”

I chuckle. “No one has to tell me. It’s obvious you don’t.”

Her heads whips to the right. “Yes...I mean no. Yes, someone had to tell you because no, it’s not obvious.”

I’ve flustered her. Maybe I can actually tap into what makes this girl tick. It would be nice to find common ground and make my relationship with her a little more pleasant. After all, if I have to deal with her indefinitely, I’d at least like us to be friendly.

I shrug. “I know you don’t for two reasons. Number one, I’ve been with you most of the day and you haven’t gotten one phone call or text from a guy.” She opens her mouth to argue with me, but I cut her off. “Believe me, if I had a girl like you, I’d be calling all the time. And the second thing, no guy in their right mind would be okay letting his girl go anywhere with me. Women are defenseless against my sexiness. You should know that.”

She laughs. “Oh. My. God. You are so full of yourself. I’ve never met anyone like you. If I hadn’t been drunk last night, you wouldn’t have got that far with me.”

“Kid yourself all you want, sweetness. You liked it.” I grin. “As for the comment about meeting anyone like me, I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“You shouldn’t, because I didn’t mean it as one.”

“Well, however you meant it, I like standing out. You’re talking to a guy who dyes his hair to do just that, remember?”

She smiles and nods. “Touché. Very true.”

We ride in silence for a few more minutes and my mind drifts back to the topic of Holly and a boyfriend. I know she’s kind of a bitch, or at least likes to come off as one, but I can’t imagine one of these local yahoos couldn’t overlook that to tap her fine ass on a regular basis. It’s driving me nuts. “Really, I have to know. Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

She sighs. “I had one until recently, but he turned into kind of an asshole. So now I’m waiting until I find a guy who meets all the requirements on my checklist.”

“Oh, God. You’re not one of those crazy chicks that have a dream man in mind and turn away every decent guy that approaches you because he’s not a doctor, lawyer or famous with lots of money are you?” Those kinds of women are the worst and a few of them have tried to get their hooks into me. I’ll be damned if I ever let that happen.

“Absolutely not. I just want a real man that isn’t a complete jackass and who appreciates me. I don’t care about money and as far as fame is concerned, I would never date a famous person.”

“What’s wrong with famous people?”

“What’s not wrong with them?” She lets out a sarcastic laugh. “They’re egotistical, beautiful and they know it. Cheat on you any chance they get. You know, the real full of themselves types.” She gives me a pointed look. “Kind of like you.”

I don’t know why, but my heart drops into my stomach. It’s not like I’d ever date her, but hearing her confirm there’d be no way she’d date a celebrity like me is crushing.

I laugh nervously and do my best to throw her off my rock star scent. “Well, I can promise you that I’m just a regular guy. But I won’t argue with you about me being beautiful. The ladies do love me, especially the cougars. They’re all over this shit.” I make a show of grabbing my junk.

“Eww. You are so gross,” she mumbles.

I laugh at her salty reaction. “Don’t knock it. There’s something to be said about experience. I’m total cougar bait and I appreciate a woman who rides cock well.”

She shakes her head. “You have no couth.”

A deep laugh rumbles out of my chest. “Couth? Who uses that word anymore?

She shrugs. “I do. I don’t see how you do it. Have sex with people like it means nothing, especially with someone who’s a lot older than you. You know most of those kinds of relationships are just about sex, right? That’s why I can’t ever see myself dating an older man.”

“What do you consider older?”

“Oh, I don’t know, like ten years older than me.”

“Do you think I’m too old for you?” I question.

Holly raises her right eyebrow and examines my face. “You can’t be more than, what, twenty four? That’s not too bad.”

I clear my throat. “I’m twenty-five, actually.”

“Really?”

“Why does that surprise you?”

“I don’t know. I thought I was being generous with saying twenty-five. You act so much younger sometimes.”

My lips pull into a tight line. “I should be deeply offended, but I’m not. I can be serious if I need to. Life’s too short. I choose to have fun with it.”

She nods. “I guess I can understand that philosophy.”

Holly turns in to one of those chain steakhouses and asks if this place is okay. After I tell her it’s fine, she whips into a parking spot and throws the manual transmission into neutral.

She grins as she revs the engine one last time before shutting it down. “I’ve never met a girl who’s into cars before.”

“That’s because most girls are pampered princesses who don’t understand the rush of going fast.” She opens the car door and gets out, while I do the same.

I lean on the car and rest my arms on the roof to stare at her on the other side. “You’re an adrenaline junkie?”

The twinkle in her blue eyes gives her away before she even admits it. “Totally.”

I love anything that’s fast and dangerous. It’s what drew me to the motocross business. This hot little minx is kind of like the female version of me—apart from the fact she doesn’t seem to be into casual sex. That’s where we differ. “So, you ride on the track?”

“I used to.” She nods towards the door of the restaurant we’re parked in front of and we shut the car doors at the same time.

“Did you just get tired of it, or what?” I ask as I fall into step beside her.

“The passion for it isn’t there anymore.”

I hold the door open for her. “That doesn’t make any sense. If you’re so into the whole speed thing, I would think it’s hard to walk away from riding if that’s what you love. I mean, you’re around it everyday. Don’t you get the urge to hop on a bike and go?”

There’s no answer from her, she only shrugs. She passes through the door and I can’t help staring at her ass in those tight jean shorts. The temptation to smack it causes my hand to itch and I grip the door handle tighter.

The hostess wearing jeans and a purple t-shirts tosses her brown hair over her shoulder and smiles at me. “How many?”

I hold up two fingers. “Two.”

The brunette gives Holly the once over and curls her lip. Holly doesn’t miss the girl’s reaction and raises her eyebrows, daring the girl to say something to her. The girl doesn’t, she simply flips her hair again and says, “Follow me.”

Holly turns towards me. “What a bitch. If we’d actually been together on a date, I would’ve been offended.”

I can’t help but to chuckle at the entire situation. “This can be a date if you want.”

She shakes her head. “Um, no.”

The hostess leads us to a corner booth and sets a couple of menus on the table. “Your server will be right with you.” She turns her gaze to me and winks as I slide into the booth across from Holly. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Okay”—I lean in, staring at her nametag and perfectly round tits—“Julie. Will do.”

I break out my crooked grin—the one that drives the ladies mad and return the wink. She giggles and plays with her hair as she spins on her heel to go back the direction she brought us.

“Ugh,” Holly says. “Could you be any sleazier? You might as well have had sex with her right in front of me.”

I laugh. “Are you jealous that you aren’t getting my undivided flirting attention now? You’ve made it perfectly clear that you’re not interested. Don’t be a hater now that I’m testing new waters.”

“Please.” She rolls her eyes. “I don’t care what you do.”

She opens her menu upside-down and tries to ignore me, but I’m on to her. I reach across the table and flip it around. “For some who doesn’t care, you’re awfully distracted.”

“Shut up.” I laugh and pick up my menu and try to let it go before I piss her off any further.

This restaurant isn’t fancy by any means—there are peanut shells thrown all over the floor—but it’s nice. It’s very country and reminds me of home.

I didn’t see a lot of choices for places to eat when I drove through Tucson today. This city is so spread out. Not the typical packed city I’m used to, where it takes an hour to get anywhere, but I’m glad I have a local to show me around. It’s been a while since I’ve had an adventure alone.

Holly studies the menu. “This place has the best Bloomin’ Onions. Do you like those?”

I nod. “Sure, I just don’t eat fried stuff often. This body is a temple. I try to keep it in shape.”

She shakes her head. “I’d eat them every day if I could, but I can’t afford to come here. Last time I was here was last fall for my nineteenth birthday when I came home from school.”

“Nineteen? Wow you’re a baby.” And it’s nearly illegal for me to have the dirty thoughts I’ve been having about her.

“Actually, last night was my birthday. That’s why I was at the bar. I’ve officially left my teen years behind.”

“Well, happy belated birthday. I’m glad I could give you a taste of being twenty.” I smile and she scowls at me. “Maybe you should’ve let me give you a real present last night...” She shakes her head at me, but there’s no hiding the blush in her cheeks.

I know deep down she likes it when I talk dirty to her. I can read people.

I need a subject change before I dwell on the things I’d like to do to her any longer. “You go to college?”

“I used to. I gave it up to come home and help Dad at the track. He couldn’t afford to pay his employees anymore.” I notice the frown on her lips, and I don’t like it—a face that pretty should never be sad. I want to immediately fix it.

“Well, maybe when my investor buddy comes through you can go back?”

Her eyes flit to mine. “I would love to. It just sucks all my friends back at school will be ahead of me now.”

“You’re still young. You’ll make new friends.” I point out. “What were you studying?”

“Psychology.”

My eyebrows shoot up. “Wow. That’s impressive. You’re smart and hot. That’s a pretty badass combination.”

She giggles. “Thanks. I wish more guys thought that way. A lot of them have problems with women who take school so seriously.”

“What do you mean?” I ask completely confused. “I love smart women—all women, actually.”

“I haven’t had great luck with men.”

That’s a shame. I rest my elbows on the table and lean forward. “Maybe you’ve just been dating the wrong guys?”

There’s a heat between us as we stare each other in the eye. I know she feels it too, because a slight blush creeps up her neck into her cheeks, making me think about what she’d look like after an orgasm. One that, at the moment, I would love to give her by sinking between her sweet, creamy thighs and licking her into oblivion.

Images of what’s hidden beneath those clothes, and the way her mouth tastes, toy with my brain and my cock twitches in anticipation.

I open my mouth to tell her fuck the dinner—let’s get out of here and I’ll give her something else she’s starving for when our overly chipper waitress with bottle-blonde hair approaches the table. “What can I get you two to drink?”

I shake myself out of my daze as I try to clear my sex-crazed brain from thinking about fucking Holly any longer. I can only endure so much torture. “A Bud Light.”

“A Coke, please,” Holly says.

Once the waitress is gone, Holly taps the table with her index finger and directs her attention at everyone else in the place but me. It’s like she’s afraid to look at me again. I completely get it—the attraction between us is hard to deny, but we both know we need to fight it. There can never be anything more than innocent flirting between us and last night needs to be kept locked away.

It’s a bad idea to mix business with pleasure. Even I know that.

Before I can start a conversation about the track, her eyes grown wide and she tries to hide her face behind her hands. “What are you doing, Holly? You look like a crazy person.”

“Don’t say my name,” she whispers harshly, ducking down and grabbing for a menu.

“What? Why?” I turn around in my seat and notice a guy standing at the bar joking with the pretty, busty bartender. He’s about my height, at least six foot, and is covered in tattoos, just like me. His head is shaved along with his face. She can’t possibly be hiding from that guy. I turn back around and find Holly hiding behind the menu she picked up. “Why? Don’t you want the guy at the bar to see you?”

“Yes. Please let me know when he’s gone.”

If I weren’t so puzzled by this uncharacteristic deviation from the normal Ice Queen act I’ve seen from her so far, this would be hilarious. But my concern for her outweighs my personal amusement. What in the hell did that guy do to her? “Tell me who he is first.”

She sighs dramatically and I bet if I could see her she’d be rolling her eyes. “He’s Jackson Cruze.” The tone in her voice makes it seem like it should be obvious to me who the guy is.

I glance up at the ceiling and try to go through my mental files on why that name sounds so familiar. It hits me. I do know that name. I saw it in one of the motocross magazines I read on the plane from Kentucky to here. I do a double-take of the guy and then ask her, “He’s the MX hotshot, right? The one getting all the press right now?”

“Yes,” she hisses.

I lean back in my seat. “Shouldn’t you want to talk to a guy like that to get him to promote the track?”

She drops the menu and stares me in the eye. “No. He’s the last person on earth I want to speak to.”

I fold my arms on the table and lean in. “Why? I don’t get it.”

Holly’s lips pull into a tight line. “He’s my ex-boyfriend.”

Light bulb. “Ah, I see. How recent?”

“Two weeks.”

Ouch.

I nod. “I take it things didn’t end on great terms?”

“No. He cheated on me. From what I’ve heard from the guys around the track who didn’t say a word to me while we were together, he’d been sleeping around for a while. He made it into the pro-circuit while I was away at school last year, and I guess he’s been with all the slutty, bimbos throwing themselves at him on a daily basis behind my back.”

That’s a story that hits a little too close to home and I find myself rolling my hands into fists in my lap. “Let me guess, you were blindsided when you caught him?”

She shakes her head. “He owned up to it after he forgot about the two-year anniversary date we were suppose to have.”

I glance back and narrow my eyes at Jackson and say to Holly, “He sounds like an arrogant little shit stain that needs his ass beat.”

Her soft lips twist like she’s fighting back some tears. “Maybe so, but I even after everything he did to me, I don’t wish him any physical harm.”

I know I haven’t known Holly very long, and it’s insane to feel protective over her, but I know exactly what she’s going through. Being cheated on sucks, especially when the person you love blindsides you.

How dare that douchebag do that to this beautiful, caring girl who obviously loves him. She’s a fucking prize, and if that little twerp couldn’t see that, he didn’t deserve her anyway.

“Oh, God. He’s coming over here. Ignore him,” she orders.

I open my mouth to protest, but Jackson stops at our table. “Holly? How are you?”

Holly stares up at him and smiles. “Hi, Jackson. I’m fine.”

His eyes drift down her body and linger awhile on her tits beneath her white tank-top. “You look great.”

What he means to say is that her tits look great—which they do—but after the way he treated her she shouldn’t give him the satisfaction of looking at them. She should tell him to piss off, but she doesn’t. She actually bats her eyes at him and as she tells him he looks good too.

I don’t fucking get chicks. At. All.

This asshole did her wrong. Why is she being nice to him? One minute she hates him, and the next he has her under some sort of fucked up spell that’s turned the baddest chick I know into, well...she’s acting just like the shallow groupies who try to get my attention. Why would she even want him back after what he did?

This isn’t good. Doesn’t she know with this groupie act she’ll be just another easy mark for him? He’ll have the same thing on his mind that I normally do when it comes to women—fuck ‘em and dump ‘em—and Holly is too good for that. She’s not some random bimbo out for a good time. I’ve been around her long enough today to know she’s loyal and fierce, and deserves so much more.

I’m going to make sure that happens.

I reach across the table and intertwine my fingers with hers. “Who’s this, baby?”

Holly attempts to pull away, but I squeeze my fingers together, holding her in place. The little touch works. Jackson’s brown eyes zero in on it, and I smirk at Holly.

It takes her a couple seconds to realize that I’m helping her out and she smiles at me. “This is my friend, Jackson.”

I let go of her hand and stand up from the booth and extend my hand. “What’s up, man. I’m Trip.”

Jackson sizes me up, glancing down at my biceps before allowing a smirk to fill his face. He’s confident, and thinks he’s better than even me. If he’s not careful, I’ll wipe that smart-ass grin off his face for him. “I thought I knew all of Holly’s friends?”

I continue shaking his hand, squeezing a little tighter. “I’ve known her for a little while now—she’s really something.” I look down at her and wink.

Jackson lets go of my hand, and flexes his fingers. This time it’s my turn to wear a shit-eating grin.

He turns to Holly. “I know we aren’t on the best terms right now, but I’d love to stop out at the track. Would that be okay?”

Her face lights up. “Of course! We’d love to have you there.”

“Great. It’s a date. I’ll be there tomorrow,” Jackson answers with a grin before he turns back to me. “Nice to meet you, Trip. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

I nod. “You can count on it.”

I take my seat and shake my head as Holly watches Jackson walk out the door. “What do you see in him?”

She turns back to me. “I don’t see anything in him.”

I roll my eyes. “Give me a break. If I hadn’t saved your ass, you would’ve been a pile of girl-goo all over the floor. If you want to make a guy like him jealous, you have to be a challenge. You can’t go around throwing yourself at him.”

“I wasn’t throwing myself at him.”

I point at the table. “Yeah, you were. Trust me. I know what I’m talking about. You want this guy to notice you and kick himself for letting you go, you’re going to need my help. You have to make him come crawling back. He needs to suffer for doing you wrong, so he’ll know not to ever do it again.”

She crosses her arms. “Why would you even offer that? I’ve been a royal bitch to you for the most part. What’s in it for you?”

I shrug. “I want my time here to go as smoothly as possible. I’d like us to be friends as well as co-workers. I feel like shit for how I treated you at the club and I’m hoping this will get me on your good side. Your friendship will make my job fun. This little pact will provide my entertainment while I’m here and you’ll be getting something in return. I’d say that’s a win-win.”

She toys with a strand of her blonde hair. “So, you’re saying if we form this un-holy alliance, the only thing I have to do is be nice to you? There’s nothing else you want in return from me?”

I shake my head. “Nothing else. I promise. I only want your friendship and the chance to help you make a cheater pay. I have no love for cheaters. I know first hand how many fucking problems cheating in a relationship can cause.”

Holly narrows her blue eyes. “You’ll behave?”

“Yes. I promise I’ll keep my dick in my pants when it comes to you. I’m starting to like you too much to fuck you, anyhow.” I tell her the honest truth, because I know now she’s the relationship type, and that’s not what I’m here for. I don’t want to pretend like I’d be into one with her because I won’t allow myself to play her just to have sex. I won’t be able to toss her aside like I do the rest. I already like her to much to do that.

“That makes no sense. You like me too much now to sleep with me? That’s just an odd thing to say, but whatever. The deal seems pretty simple, and I would love to give Jackson a taste of his own medicine and make his ass jealous. It’d be nice to prove to him I can find someone else too.”

“The way I see it, Holly, if my buddy goes into business with your dad, we’ll see a lot of each other. I would like us to be on good terms. I’ll probably be around from time to time after my month here is over and I’d like to walk into your office and have you greet me with a smile instead of a scowl. You’re far to pretty to have an ugly expression on that beautiful face.”

She bites her bottom lip. “I completely get what you’re saying. I don’t want a bad relationship with you either. I think teaming up with you could be fun, but no more flirting with me.”

I shake my head. “Jackson believes we’re together, so we’re going to have to play the part. There will be flirting—lots of it. It’s the only way this will be believable.”

She leans back in the booth and chews her thumbnail while she weighs up her options.

“Clock’s ticking,” I say. “You better make up your mind. He’s coming to see you tomorrow. You can either allow me to fondle you in front of Jackson, making him insanely jealous, or you can go back to hating my guts. The choice is yours.”

Her eyes soften. “I never said I hated you.”

“Actions speak louder than words, sweetness. You haven’t had many kind things to say to me today.” I extend my hand across the table to her. “What do you say? Do we have a deal?”

She leans forward and places her hand in mine. “Deal. And I promise I’ll start being nicer.”

Looks like my time here just got a hell of a lot more enjoyable. I smile and give her hand a shake. This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Chapter 5

I Wanna Be Bad

HOLLY

What the hell did I agree to? That’s the only thought that keeps flitting through my mind as I stare straight ahead on our car ride back to the house. This little game is dangerous. Trip is dangerous. I know that. Every sense in my body screams it. It’s worrisome that I’ve agree to act like Trip and I are an item, considering I know that I’m attracted to him physically, but what he was offering was too sweet of a deal to turn down. Jackson needs to see that I can move on and that my life doesn’t revolve around him. I can’t let him know he nearly broke me.

When I was seventeen, Jackson Cruze was my everything. Even now, it’s a hard to pretend I don’t feel something for him. I’ve drooled over him since I was old enough to like boys in the first place. The moment he came to my father’s track and flashed his dimples at me I was a goner. Jackson was my first real crush, my first boyfriend, and the first guy I ever fell in love with—that all means something to me. What he did to me doesn’t instantly erase all that, although I wish it would. As much as I hate it, I want him back.

Trips downshifts the Mustang as we round the corner and slow down. He pulls into the drive leading to the office and our house. “Where should I park?”

I point to our house. “You can pull up there since you’re staying with us.”

His eyes slide in my direction. “That’ll help you know.”

“What?”

“Me living with you. It’ll drive Jackson nuts knowing we’re probably sleeping together every night.”

I shake my head. “I think you’re wrong about him. He won’t be that jealous over me. He left me, remember?”

He cuts the ignition and sets his gaze on me. “He wants you. He wouldn’t have attempted to push my buttons by making a date with you in front of me if he wasn’t. Jackson wants me to know I’m treading in his territory.”

“Jeesh, you make it sound like it’s a pissing contest.”

“In a manner of speaking, it is. In his eyes, the man that fights for you the hardest will win. We just have to see how far he’s willing to take this.”

“What if he doesn’t?” I drop my head down, hating the thought of being rejected by Jackson yet again.

Trip softly pinches my chin and forces me to look into his eyes. “He will. You’re worth fighting for. Any idiot can see that. Now that he sees you’ve moved on so easily He knows he was a fool for ever letting you go. It’s his turn to feel the sting of rejection. Trust me, he wants you back.”

My mouth drifts open and I stare at Trip’s inviting lips. He’s not at all like I expected. When I first laid eyes on him, I wanted him. But after I saw how our kiss meant nothing to him, I assumed he was just another lame asshole who only cared about getting some ass. This side of him though, is caring and helpful. It makes him even more appealing, which is a very bad thing. It’s wrong to want him, especially considering he’s helping me win back the affection of another man.

His eyes search my face, before he ultimately decides to release me. “It’s getting late. We’d better go inside so I can unpack and get a good night’s rest. We’ve got an old boyfriend jealous tomorrow, remember?”

I swallow hard and nod in agreement still looking into his eyes. “Sleeping with you would be good.” He laughs and I quickly throw my hand over my mouth. I immediately try to correct my mistake. “I mean, sleeping would be good.” This only makes him laugh harder and I let out a frustrated breath. “Stop. You know what I meant.”

I want to shove my head in a pile of desert sand.

“I think it was a subconscious slip,” he says, adjusting his hat and winking at me before he opens his door to get out.

I trail behind him after I shut the car door behind me. “It was not.”

He steps up onto the porch and leans against the house right by the door. I feel his heated gaze on me while I fish the keys from my pocket. “Keep telling yourself that, sweetness. It’s okay to admit you’d like to fuck me, because I think it’s pretty clear I’d like the same thing. It’s too bad we can’t now that we’re co-workers and co-conspirators. I’m pretty sure that’d be bad for business.”

“Shhhh,” I scold him. “My dad might hear you.” I growl when the second key I try in the lock doesn’t work. “Come on.”

Trip leans down and whispers in my ear, “I know just the thing to relieve that tension.”

I lift my shoulder, trying to shove him out of my ear as I allow the door to fly open. “Yes.”

He chuckles as he follows me inside. “That was pretty enthusiastic. I can only imagine what that would sound like when you’re—”

The lights flip on in the foyer and Trip quickly closes his mouth, while my cheeks burn even hotter. No one wants their parents to hear a conversation like that.

Dad tightens his paper-thin blue robe around his small waist and glances up at the clock above our heads. “I wondered when you two would get back. Dinner’s in the refrigerator if you’re hungry.”

Guilt pours over me. “Sorry, Dad. I should’ve check with you before I agreed to go out to eat with Trip. We should’ve invited you.”

He rubs his eyes. “It’s okay. I was really tired anyhow. Well, now that I know you’re home safe, I’m heading back to bed.”

“Are you still feeling sick?” I ask, completely concerned.

His weight-loss and coupled with how exhausted he’s felt lately has me a bit worried. Dad’s always on the go. The idea that he’s in bed so early, so often, is odd for him. He typically has more energy than I do.

He nods. “A little. I hope a few more days of hitting the sack early will perk me up out of this funk I’ve been fighting these last couple of months.”

“I think it’s time you make a doctors appointment. You’ve felt like this for way too long.” We’ve been over this before, and I hate to push the subject, but I’m worried.

“I can’t, Holly. They’ll want to do all sorts of tests we can’t afford. If it gets too bad, I’ll go. I promise.” Dad offers a small hint of a smile. “Well, goodnight, kids. I’ll see you both down at the office bright and early. Trip, we’ll get you out on the track tomorrow so you can check it.”

Trip nods and smiles. “Sounds good.”

Dad turns and shuts himself back in his bedroom and I stare at the door. Whatever is going on with him, I don’t like it.

I turn towards Trip. “Do you have bags in your car that need to be carried up?”

“I have a duffel bag.”

“That’s it for an entire month?”

He shrugs. “I’m used to being on the road a lot. Packing light becomes second nature when you get tired of carrying around a ton of shit. Besides, I figured wherever I stayed would have a washer and dryer. It’s not like I’ll run around like a homeless bum.”

That makes me curious about him and his money-bags boss. Is he looking at another track, too? Do we have competition on this deal? “You check out a lot of tracks for this investor?”

“This is the first one, actually.”

I raise an eyebrow. “So, what else do you check out for him? I know cattle farmers can’t possibly travel that much. Who would feed the livestock?”

Trip scratches the back of his head, almost like he’s nervous and it takes him a while to answer me. “I’m not actually a cow farmer.”

I smile. “I never believed for a second you were. What is it that you actually do?”

“I’m a personal assistant to a musician.” His answer is simple and makes much more sense. I’d never seen a farmer who looked like him before. A biker? Yes. A guy in a rock band? Yes. A farmer? No.

Since he’s opening up to me, I wonder if I can get him to spill the secret of the investor’s identity. “Now that, I believe. So tell me, is this investor a musician?”

Trip shakes his head and takes a step backwards to the door. “I’ll never tell.”

“Come on. I just want to know who is interested, that’s all. I can keep a secret. I swear.” Even I can hear the little whine in my voice, but knowing who might become out partner in the business is vital. If it’s the right person, we can use their celebrity status to draw in bigger events.

His hand rests on the doorknob. “Sorry, sweetness. I can’t give you that information. It’ll ruin everything.”

“Will we ever find out?” I question.

Trip opens the door and glances up at me with a smile on his lips. “You will, when the time is right.”

“Can I at least have a hint?”

He tilts his head. “Let’s call him Mr. Snare.”

My eyes widen as the last name clicks. “He’s a drummer?”

He shoots me a cocky grin that almost makes me weak in the knees. “Maybe.”

Before I get a chance to ask any more questions he slips out the door.

I turn and grab the handrail as I walk slowly up the stairs trying to pinpoint what drummer could possibly be the investor. Dad’s friend at the bank told him he didn’t have much information either, only that the person investing wanted to remain undisclosed until Trip thoroughly investigates the place and reports back to him. If the person investing is some rock star that could be great for business. It can kind of be what Carey Hart did for the tattoo business in Las Vegas. His name alone draws people to that shop he owns there.

This is excellent news.

I shut myself in my room and grab my laptop off the nightstand. Surely I’ll be able to find something.

I enter drummer into the search field and wait on the results. I groan. Over five million results pop up. “This is ridiculous. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.”

I push the screen down before I place it away. There’s no way I can ever figure out who it is by going through that mess.

I lay back, falling into stack of pillows behind me on my full size bed. My finger traces patterns on the blue bedspread as I allow my mind to wander at what the future for this place may hold. I close my eyes and try to picture the bands I know. Not many individual members of bands come to mind. When I think of a band, I think of them as a whole. I’ve never really had the desire to study individual members of a band. I can’t even name five drummers.

I don’t even know where to start. Trip didn’t say if it’s a new band, or a retired one or what. The chances of me figuring this out on my own aren’t very good. I could try looking up Trip, but unless he’s got a website, which I doubt, linking him with the band, that probably won’t be very helpful. It would be a further waste of my time.

I’m going to have to get him to tell me himself.

The image of Trip smiling as he backed out of the door pops in my head. He’s dangerously sexy. His smile alone is hot enough to nearly melt my panties right off my body.

For the past couple years, Jackson has been the only man I’ve thought of, so it’s hard to tell my brain that it’s okay to move on and find other men attractive. Take Trip for example—as much as I hate to admit it to myself, Trip is exactly my type of guy. He’s cocky, sexy, and yet still has an excellent sense of humor. I can’t believe he’s willing to help me make Jackson jealous. It’s sweet and he couldn’t possibly understand how much that means to me.

It sucked to find out that all the years we spent together meant nothing to Jackson—that he thought so little of me that he could throw me out like a piece of candy that had lost its flavor. It changes everything when you find out what you thought was real is a lie. I am hurt and I’ll admit that I want to hurt him back.

If Trip is right, and the sight of the two of us together bothers Jackson, it’ll be the best payback I can ask for.

At some point while all that was running through my head I must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing I know a steady stream of sunlight pours through the window, hitting me in the eyes.

Shit. I’m late. The regular riders like an early start when they come to ride on open track day.

I throw my hand over my face to shield myself from the glare as I sit up and gain my bearings. I place both feet on the hardwood floor below me and push myself off the bed, tugging my nightshirt down around my thighs on my way to the bathroom.

I yawn as I open the door to answer nature’s morning call. My yawn quickly turns into a sucked-in breath as my wide eyes land on a tanned, toned, and very naked Trip, standing at the bathroom counter, brushing his teeth. My eyes zero in on his mid-section, and promptly widen. Oh. My. God! His dick is right there on display for the world to see. Okay, maybe not the world, but I certainly have an eyeful.

Quickly, I turn my head to keep myself from staring any longer as heat creeps up my neck before settling in my cheeks. “What are you doing?!”

“What’s it look like I’m doing? I’m brushing my teeth. Oral hygiene is very important,” he says with his mouth full.

I sigh but it almost sounds like a growl. “I meant why are you naked?”

“Um, you’re supposed to be naked in the shower.” I don’t even have to see his face to know he’s smiling and having a good time with this.

I grab a white towel off the rod on the wall and thrust it in his direction. “Here. Cover that thing up.”

He spits in the sink and then his deep laugh fills the tiny bathroom as he takes the towel. “Thing? What are we in fifth grade? It’s a cock, Holly. Call it what it is.”

I peek out the corner of my eye and Trip flings the towel over his shoulder, turning so I can get a full view of his mouth-watering naked form. “That was to go around your waist.”

He leans causally against the counter. Obviously he’s not a bit shy about being completely naked in front of me. “Look, men want women who aren’t afraid to talk dirty. This can be our first lesson in how to catch a guy’s interest. If you want me to cover up, quit being a scared little virgin, and grab my attention. Look me in the eye and tell me to cover my cock.”

I roll my eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

“You want my help or not?” When I don’t answer right away, he drums his fingers on the counter. “I’m waiting...I can stand here like this all day. I have no problem showing off what God blessed me with, and when I say blessed, well, you know. You’ve seen it.” He chuckles.

My lips pull into a tight line. As much as I hate the idea of sinking to this embarrassing level with him, I know deep down he’s right. I’ve always heard men like their women to be the sinner and the saint. I need to suck it up and do this. I want to prove to Jackson and everyone else that there’s more to me than just this straight-laced good girl that they all think I am.

His green eyes burn into mine the moment our gaze meets. “Cover your fucking cock, you dirty manwhore.”

He smirks and pulls the towel off his shoulder slowly with one hand. The tattoos etched into the smooth skin of his arms, shoulders and chest catch my eye as Trip wraps the towel around his waist. “There may be hope for you after all, sweetness. We’ve still got a lot of work to do, though. We’ve got to keep working on making that pretty little mouth of yours dirty.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “Fine. We will. Now, can you please get out so I can pee?”

“Sure thing.” Trip winks at me before squeezing past me, slapping my ass on his way out.

My skin burns from his touch, and I rub my backside to console it. “Hey!”

“Just warming that booty up for later. Get used to my touch, babe.” He holds his hands up and makes a grabbing motion with his hands while his back stays to me. “These things are going to be all over you today.”

“Ugh.” I close the door a little harder than I mean to in order to get away from him. No matter what, I have to remind myself it’s important to be nice to Trip. He’s helping me with the two most important things in my life: this track, and getting back with Jackson.

I stare at myself in the mirror and study my reflection as I curse myself for allowing him to get to me. I need to learn to let things go and stop getting riled up so quickly.

I toss my hair over my shoulder and turn on the water. My blue eyes stare back at me as I wait for the water to warm up. The vision of Trip smiling and flexing his fingers as he talks about groping me floats through my mind. I wish the thought of his strong hands being all over me didn’t make my stomach flutter the way it’s doing right now. Damn him.

I throw some water on my face and glance back at the clock on the wall behind me. It’s not as late as I thought. I’ve got time for my normal routine. I pull my shirt over my head and take off my underwear in order to grab a quick shower. I slide the shower curtain back and turn on the water just as the bathroom door flings open.

I yank the shower curtain over my naked body and stagger at the same moment I pivot.

Trip’s large hand grabs my elbow to steady me. “You all right there?”

I jerk away from him. I don’t like the idea of him touching me while I’m completely naked. “Don’t you knock?”

“You didn’t, so I figured our relationship had already progressed to the ‘no knocking’ level.”

I shove his shoulder towards the open door, careful to keep the plastic wrapped around me. “Well it hasn’t, now get out.”

He holds up his hands. “Easy. I just came for my toothbrush and deodorant. I promise I won’t peek, unless you want me to.”

“Get out,” I order.

“Say please.” I narrow my eyes at him and he raises his eyebrow. “Our deal...”

This is literally killing me. “Ugh. Fine. Please, get out.”

He grabs his stuff off the counter and grins. “Only because you begged. I can’t ever turn a woman down when she begs me to do something for her.”

I fight the urge to scream at him, and tell him I’ve changed my mind and our deal isn’t worth it when he laughs at me yet again. I want to, but I won’t. I need to see this thing through. I’m tired of thinking about Jackson all the time. Even I know it’s pathetic, this little deal with Trip will help me see these feelings I’ve been harboring through. Jackson will either want me back, or he’ll continue to pretend that what we had was nothing—which will tell me it’s really over.

Either way, I’m ready to move on with my life. I need a new direction, and I want to find someone who actually wants me.

Chapter 6

Love Crime

TRIP

I walk towards the office my cell vibrates and I yank it out of my pocket. I check the caller ID and roll my eyes. “Yes, Dad?”

“Well maybe if you would check in from time to time and let people know where you are, I wouldn’t be checking up on you. Where are you?” my twin brother, Tyke, asks, enough angst in his voice to create the next teen blockbuster.

I slip my sunglasses on and glance around at the mountain scenery. “I’m in Arizona.”

“What the fuck for?”

Having a brother so involved in your life is a pain in the ass sometimes. “Charlie Richardson, our financial investor, called with a killer investment opportunity and I had to jump on it right away. So, that’s what I’m doing...checking shit out.”

Tyke sighs into the phone. “And you didn’t think to call me and let me know. Jesus, man, I’ve been fucking worried about your stupid ass. It isn’t like you to take off for days and not let me know where you are. Why didn’t you call me back? I left you, like, fifteen messages.”

“I don’t have to tell you everything,” I argue.

“I know, but, damn. A little common courtesy would be nice. I thought one of our psycho fans finally lost their mind and had you tied to their bed somewhere like Misery.”

I laugh. “That might not necessarily be a bad thing. The groupies I bang are always smokin’ hot. A few days being someone’s sex slave could be kind of fun.”

“Trip...” My brother is a fucking worrywart. Most of the time he’s too serious for his own good, and it gets on my nerves. “I’m just asking next time you let me know. Anna was worried too.”

You would think Anna, our housekeeper, is my mother the way she frets over Tyke and I. “Yeah, okay. I’m sorry. This all happened so fast, I didn’t even cross my mind to tell you I was leaving. And I know it’s not a very good excuse, but I’ve been really busy from the moment I got here. Calling you slipped my mind. Tell Anna I’m sorry.”

“I will. So, tell me—what’s this business that’s got you so pumped, and how long are you going to be gone?”

“A motocross track, and I’ll be back in a few weeks. I need to stick around here and get a good feel for the place.”

“You know those are money-pits, right?”

I shake my head even though he can’t see me. “Not if the place has the right sponsors and they hold big events. There’s money to be made. Besides, you know how I like off the wall shit. This place is the perfect business for me.”

“But, Trip, this isn’t like buying a personal playground. It’s going to affect other people when you make a bad decision.”

“Are you saying I can’t handle running something like this?”

“No, with help, I’m sure you’ll be fine. What I am saying is that I know you. When you set your sights on something, you don’t stop until you get it—even if it’s not for the best. You aren’t very restrained.”

Shows how much he knows. I want Holly and I’ve showed nothing but restraint since I figured out who she is. I think that proves I can do anything to make this business work. I’ve pushed my own sexual desires to posses her out of the way in order to make this right. “That’s where you’re wrong, Tyke. I know I can do this.”

“How much are you buying the track for?”

I kick at the gravel with my toe. “I’m not buying it, exactly. It’s more like a bail-out loan, then I become a silent partner.”

“That sounds more your speed. Taking on a business is a lot of work.”

“I know that. I’m not a complete idiot. I know I can’t run something entirely by myself.”

“No one ever said you were. I think this is a smart move actually.”

I scratch the back of my neck. “You do?”

“Yeah. This band may not last forever.”

I raise my eyebrows. He’s never said anything like that before. It’s not like him. Tyke loves Black Falcon just as much as I do. “Why would you say that?”

He sighs into the phone. “Forget I said anything. I’m just talking crazy.”

“Am I missing something? Did Noel or Riff say something about the band breaking up?” I can hear the near panic on my own voice.

“No. I’m just saying we’re all starting to go in different directions, is all.”

“We are not. Everyone just needs a break. Once Noel and Riff get their fill of the chicks they’re with, it’ll all be out of their systems and things will get back to normal.”

“I hope so. Haven’t you noticed we hardly see them anymore?”

“Damn, dude, stop being so harsh. Give them time before you doubt them. They’ll bounce back. You’ll see.”

“I hope you’re right, baby brother.”

“Aren’t I always right? And stop calling me that. Who cares that you're five minutes older. Big fucking whoop.”

Tyke laughs. “Obviously you do.”

“Whatever, man. I’ll call you later.”

“All right. Don’t forget to come up with beats for the new songs we were working on before you took off.”

“Will do,” is all I say before ending the call.

I shove my phone back in my pocket and continue across the gravel lot to the shop. When I step onto the porch I spot Holly through the window and I smile. The thoughts I’ve been having about how fucking fantastic she would look naked were confirmed this morning when I walked in on her in nothing but that tight, little birthday suit. I wonder if she’s thought about me since the other night in the bar. I didn’t leave anything to the imagination this morning when I gave her the full Trip show in the bathroom, so I bet she’s thinking about me now.

My morning was made when I heard that pretty mouth of hers say “cock”. I won’t lie and say that wasn’t fucking hot because it totally was. I can practically picture her on her knees begging to wrap her lips around my cock. My pants fit a little snugger as the image becomes clearer.

What the fuck am I doing? Damn it. Think of something else. I start counting off a beat like I do at our shows and then start humming Ball Busting Bitch as I open the door.

Holly’s gaze whips in my direction. “I’ve heard that song before.”

I instantly stop singing and raise an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? You like it?”

She shakes her head. “Not my kind of music. Besides, it got completely played out.”

I have to stop myself from busting out in a fit of laughter. If she only knew how sick of that song I am myself. Playing it nearly every damn day of my life gets a little old.

Finally, I grin at her and wink. “I know exactly what you mean.”

She quickly looks away and goes back to counting the money for her drawer. Her hair is loose today, falling over her shoulders in waves and her make-up is a little heavier than yesterday, reminding me of when I first spotted her in the nightclub. Even with that stupid gray uniform top—which makes her look more like a mechanic than anything else—she’s hot. There’s no fucking denying it.

She writes down the total when she’s done counting and she puts the pen in her mouth, effectively wrapping her soft lips around it, bringing back the vision of her blowing me. I know the simple gesture she’s doing with the pen isn’t sexual in any way, but try telling my fucking dick that. The motherfucker is twitching in my pants at the very sight of it.

Damn. Down, boy.

Holly glances up and catches me staring at her. “What?”

I pull her hand with the pen away from her mouth. “No distracting the teacher.”

Her eyes flit to the pen. “I don’t get it.”

“Men get distracted when a woman puts things in her mouth, especially when we imagine it’s our dick you’re sucking on,” I answer honestly. “If I’m going teach you how to hook a guy, then you need to know how we think.”

She rolls her eyes. “Not all guys are like that.”

“If it walks with a dick, and thinks with a dick...it’s a guy. Trust me on this. I am one, and I know how we operate. Sex rules us.”

Her lips twitch like she’s ready to laugh at me. “All right fine, oh wise one. Teach me.”

I walk around her, enjoying the free roam she is allowing my appraising eyes. This is going to be fun.

HOLLY

Trip pulls on the tops of my arms from behind me. “Put your shoulders back more when you stand.”

“This feels awkward.”

“It probably does, but men notice tits, and you’ve got an excellent set. Use them to your advantage.” He walks around assessing me. “There’s not much we can do with the uniform since Bill is so stuck on you wearing it, but we can figure out other ways to show off that hot body of yours.”

Surely there’s more to like about me other than that. “Jackson isn’t that shallow.”

Trip raises his eyebrow. “You’re talking about the same guy that left you to go after looser pieces of ass. Trust me, he’s a guy—we’re all shallow. Whatever you guys had before is over. We’re starting from scratch.”

I laugh. “At least you’re honest. It’s sort of refreshing.”

He shrugs his thick shoulders. “There’s no other way to be. Now, let’s work on flirting.”

I grin. “Oh, I can flirt, so we can skip that. I’ve already got that down.”

He fights back a smile. “Really?”

I throw my hands on my hips. “It worked on you at the club didn’t it?”

He steps in front of me and his eyes zero in on my chest. Both of his hands dart to my top button on my gray top and he releases it from its hole before moving on to the next one. “First of all, I was attracted to your banging body in that little black dress. It screamed, “Fuck me,” so that’s not flirting—that’s attention seeking. Believe me, I wasn’t the only one watching you shake your ass. I was just the only one brave enough to try and get with you even though you were there with another man.”

“You thought I was there with Max?” I ask even though it doesn’t surprise me. Max isn’t exactly the stereotypically homosexual male. There’s nothing feminine about him. People make the mistake that we’re an item all the time.

“Yep.”

“And you were what, going to steal me away from my date?”

Trip shrugs. “When I see something I want, I go after it. And that night I wanted you. That is until you let him drag you away from me. I figured it wasn’t worth the scene it would cause to kick his ass.”

I roll my eyes. “How do you know you wouldn’t have been the one on the receiving end of that ass-kicking? Max is a pretty strong dude.”

He gives me a pointed look. “If there’s one thing I know besides that I’m awesome in bed, is that I can fight.”

I sigh. “Okay, so you’re a badass—I get it. What’s the other reason you think I can’t flirt?”

He smiles. “I win the flirting debate because I believe it was me who came on to you first, so you can’t take credit for that.”

My brain attempts to wade through the drunken memories of a couple nights ago. “You may have started the dance, but I believe I’m the one who turned around to take it to that next level, allowing you to kiss me. Therefore I finished it. I get total credit for flirting with you first.”

He undoes the last button on my shirt. “No. Max dragged you away, effectively cutting us both off for the night. And Thank God for that. He deserves a fucking medal for performing a good deed. Can you imagine how awkward all this would be if we’d had crazy sex that night, only to meet up the very next day? That would’ve been a nightmare.”

I flinch. “Am I really that horrible that you would’ve regretted sleeping with me?”

Am I really that big of a bitch that people actually find me repulsive?

Trip tilts his head and slides his index finger under my chin. “You really have no clue how beautiful you are, do you?” When I shake my head, he takes a deep breath and then licks his lips. “Since you are oblivious as to what men see when they look at you I’m going to be blunt. I know myself well enough to know if I would’ve gotten a taste of that sweet little pussy of yours, I would have a full-on addiction. I could never maintain a purely professional relationship with you if that ever happens. I’ve tasted your lips, and that alone has me constantly thinking about you. I can’t even begin to image what being buried deep inside you would do to me.”

My eyes widen. No one has ever spoken to me like that before. It’s so dirty and primal, and...sexy. I ball my hands into tight fists at my side to keep them from reaching out to cling to him, but he’s right. Even if we find each other attractive, we can never act on it. It would ruin everything. His job, my family’s business, not to mention any chance I have of getting Jackson back—that would all be in danger. “You shouldn’t say things like that to people.”

Trip gazes into my eyes. “Why shouldn’t I? It’s the truth. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about that night. What it would’ve been like if Max hadn’t stopped us.”

Heat pools in my belly and all I can think about is tasting his mouth, and how much I want to do it again.

Gah! What in the hell am I thinking? I shouldn’t want that. I can’t want that. I want Jackson, right? He’s the guy I’m supposed to be with. Isn’t the guy you’ve known your entire life the safer bet? Max’s words about Trip being a tasty piece of danger ring in my mind. He is so right. Trip is dangerous, and tasty, and I do need to stay away from him. He makes me want things I shouldn’t with a guy I know isn’t going to be sticking around much longer.

Trip is a heartbreaker. I saw with my own eyes how easily he can move on to someone else. I know I get too attached when it comes to men. It might’ve been different if I never saw him again after a one-night stand, but now I know him, which only further confirms we can never be together.

As I stare into Trip’s eyes, I can see him struggling too. Even through all the outrageous flirting, I can tell he’s been trying to keep his distance and behave.

I take a step back and clear my throat, trying to rid us of the strange, sexual tension in the air. “Okay, what next?”

He shakes his head like he’s coming out of a daze. “Since you know flirting, let’s skip to the biggest flirt of them all. Give me your best fuck-eye.”

My lips pull into a tight line because I’m clueless as what he wants me to do. “My what?”

He folds his arms across his chest. “You know the look that says, “Hey, I wanna fuck your brains out.”

My lips twist and I start to make the most sensual face I can, but I can tell by the laugh he’s holding back that I look more like a dying duck than a sexy woman. “I suck at this. Let’s move on.”

Trip chuckles. “No. If you want a man to notice you, it’s important to nail the come hither look. It gives people the guts to approach if they know they won’t be rejected. Here, like this.”

He tips his head down and then lifts his chin, effectively giving me the smoldering look that the fictional, cartoon character gives in that one movie. I have to admit, it’s pretty damn good. There’s no doubt what that look means. It’s quite impressive he can turn it on so quickly.

“Trip...” I begin to tell him there’s no way I can do that.

“Shut up. I’m eye-fucking you. Don’t break my concentration,” he says without changing his expression.

I shake my head. “Well, not everyone is as good as you at that. We can’t all be sluts.”

The sexy look morphs into a concerned one. “Who said I was a slut?”

I roll my eyes. “Please. I saw how fast you rebounded from me at the club.”

One side of his mouth pulls down. “You caught that, huh?”

“Yeah, I did.”

He leans into me. “Just so you know, she was a lousy lay. I imagine you would’ve been a thousand times more fun.”

“Jeesh, thanks. That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“It would me. I’d be a happy man to know you like to think of me while getting pleasured.”

I shake my head. “You and that mouth.”

“What?” he laughs.

“Well, it’s dangerous. Max was right about you.”

“You and Max talk about me, huh?”

I shrug. “A little.”

“Girl talk?”

He eyes snap in my direction. “What do you mean by that?”

“Come on. It’s not like it’s a huge secret that he’s gay.”

I narrow my eyes. “It is around here. How did you know?”

I quickly think back, and there’s not one moment I can recall where I may have disclosed Max’s secret.

“It was an easy guess. When he acted all put-off when I asked if he was your man, I knew right then he was probably gay. No guy in his right, heterosexual mind would be turned off when thinking about tapping what’s between your legs.”

I know in his twisted brain that was probably a compliment, but his vulgarity won out, making it a feel a little sleazy. “Thanks...I think. Max is my best friend, and I guess if we are pretending to date, you should know that.”

Trip nods. “You’re right. We should really get to know each other to make this feel real. What else can you tell me?”

I bite the inside corner of my lower lip. “There’s not much to know, really.”

“How about sexual history. Couples usually talk about that pretty early on in a relationship. If Jackson says something to me about it, I want to be prepared.”

My stomach squeezes for a brief second like we’ve just hit the first big drop on a roller coaster. I hate the idea of Trip knowing I’ve only slept with one man my entire life, and it just happens to be the one guy I’m trying to win back. I’m sure it’ll give him a good laugh, knowing I’m such a prude. He’ll never let me live it down. But in order for us to make this lie work, I should at least be honest with him. “Only one.”

There’s a look of surprise on his face. “Really? Wow.”

“Why would that surprise you?” I’m a little offended he would believe for a second I’m an easy lay.

“At the club, the way you moved, that said to me you had volumes of experience.”

Whatever. That’s like judging a book from its drunken cover. “Just because a girl dances a certain way doesn’t mean she’s been around a lot.”

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be so quick to tramp-stamp a girl, but you have to admit, the way you moved that night wasn’t virginal.”

I fold my arms. “Just because I said I’ve only been with one person doesn’t mean I’m not experienced.”

Trip reaches out and runs his fingers down the bare skin on my arms. “Believe me, sweetness, you’re inexperienced until you’ve been with me. If I fucked you, I’d take you to a whole other level.”

My mouth drifts open and I squeeze my thighs together, trying to relieve the tingle between my legs. The way those naughty words roll off his tongue makes me wonder what other wicked things it can do.

Trip’s gaze holds mine. It’s like he’s waiting for permission to pounce on me. I think I want this. I’ve been thinking more about him today than I have Jackson. All his teasing is driving me crazy.

I open my mouth to drive deeper into the subject of us having some crazy-random sex together, the screen door shuts, jerking me attention away from Trip. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

Jackson Cruze stands in my doorway with his black and white riding gear on and smiles a smile so beautiful it makes me nearly forget the heat I was feeling with Trip only moments ago. I pull my arm away from Trip’s touch and shake my head. “No. Come on in. I’m glad you came.”

“Me too,” Jackson says as I step around the counter and allow his eyes to roam over my body. Remembering Trip’s coaching, I allow my shoulders to fall back and arch my back a bit. It totally works as I catch Jackson’s hungry eyes inspecting my breasts beneath my tank-top. “You look great. There’s something different about you and I can’t get over how amazing you look, Holly.”

Trip clears his throat and then throws his arms around my shoulders in a possessive manner. “You better learn how to get over it really fast. She’s mine now, and I don’t appreciate you staring at her like that.”

I smack Trip’s washboard abs. “Stop it. Jackson and I are just friends. He’s moved on, just like I have.”

Trip’s eyes burn into mine. “I know you have, baby, but I don’t like old friend you used to fuck hanging around you. Don’t want them getting any ideas that they can have a taste of what’s mine now.”

“Trip!” I scold him. “Be nice.”

Trip drops his gaze on me and tilts my chin up before planting a kiss on my lips. I close my eyes and decide not to fight him on this as I relax and allow his tongue entrance into my mouth. Everything going through my mind about how to play this in front of Jackson fades away. Jackson clears his throat now and my eyes snap open as the not so subtle sound reminds me this little show is for an audience of one.

Trip grins when he pulls back. “That’s just a reminder of what you got last night. No playing nice with the douchebag over there. If he tries to touch you, I’ll break his fingers.”

Before Trip even fills me in on the next step in the plan, he heads out the front door. I flinch when the screen door bangs shut behind him. I know he’s playing the role of jealous boyfriend, but damn if that kiss didn’t feel real.

I bite my lip and turn towards Jackson who is studying me, an odd look in his eye. “So that’s who you’re with now, huh? He doesn’t seem like your type, Holl.”

I narrow my eyes. “What do you know about my type?”

Jackson takes a step towards me. “I know some overpowering asshole like that isn’t for you. You’re better suited with a guy like me.”

“What makes you think you’re so much better than Trip? He’s never cheated on me, which is a lot more than I can say for you.”

“I’m beginning to see what I huge mistake that was. I don’t like seeing you with someone else.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “Well, that’s just too damn bad. You should’ve thought about that before you decided it was a good idea to sleep with other women behind my back.”

Jackson nods. “You’re right. I was an idiot, but your new boyfriend is never going to give me the chance to make it up to you and earn your love back.”

I tilt my head confused. “You’re only saying those things to me because you’re jealous and don’t like that I’ve found someone else. Besides, Trip doesn’t own me. I can talk to whoever I want, whenever I want.”

“He’s not an idiot, Holl. He can feel the connection between us. He isn’t going to let you be alone with me long. But, I’ll tell you one thing Trip’s got his signals crossed on.”

“What’s that?”

He steps even closer and reaches up and touches my cheek. “What we had was never just fucking.”

My legs grow weak and I fall forward into his waiting arms. It’s nice to have confirmation that I actually still mean something to Jackson, even though he became an asshole and pretended like what we had was nothing.

“Jackson—” Before I have a chance to say anything else, he leans in to kiss me. I push my hand into his chest. This feels too fast—plus, how’s it going to look if I’m supposedly dating Trip. I can’t let Jackson have me again so easy. After what he did to me, he needs to suffer like I did. “Don’t.”

“You can’t be serious about that joker, Holl? Come on. We belong together. You know that. One kiss, for old times sake.”

He tries again, only this time I push him back a little harder. “I mean it, Jackson. I’m with Trip.”

He grabs my hips, and tries to pull me into him. I need to get out of here before I let him gain the upper hand—like he always does—and completely ruin everything. If I ever get back together with him, I need to be in charge this time around.

I push him away again. “No, Jackson. It’s not going to be that easy. You hurt me and I don’t trust you anymore.”

Jackson drops his arms to his side. “I deserve that. I’m going to get you back, Holl. I’ll be damned if I let another man take what’s mine.”

I step away from him and lock my gaze with his. “Who is to say he hasn’t taken it already.”

I don’t give Jackson a chance to say another word. I can’t risk standing here and allowing him to call bullshit after the plan to make him suffer is already in motion. I turn and walk away.

Jackson calls my name, but I don’t bother looking back.

I take a deep breath once I’m on the porch, and am thankful for the space. I need to clear my head and wrap my mind around what the hell just happened in there. Shit went from zero to sixty too fucking fast. My hand rubs my forehead. I need to find Trip and find out what I need to do next. Hopefully I didn’t screw things up by pushing him away so harshly.

As soon as my feet hit the gravel in the parking lot, I spot Dad coming out of the garage where we keep extra bikes. He looks worse today. His skin has a sort of grayish tone to it and he moves like he’s about ninety instead of forty-seven.

He needs to see a doctor soon.

His feet shuffle over the gravel and smiles the moment he spots me. “Hey, honey. Trip is in garage gearing up to test our track for the first time. Do you mind going out with him? He’ll need your expertise. I already hooked him up with some gear.”

I nod. “Sure thing. He’s who I’m looking for anyhow.” We pass each other as we head in opposite directions and I turn towards Dad as he goes by. “Jackson Cruze is in the office.”

Dad tilts his head. “You don’t say. What’s he want?”

I shrug. “He asked me last night if he could come by and ride.”

Dad’s eyes narrow with suspicion. “You sure he’s just here for that and not you.”

“Dad,” I say, dragging out his name. “Jackson and I are over.” Panic hits me as I realize my dad is about to walk in there with my ex who now believes I have a new tattooed, sexy boyfriend. “But, he does think I’m sort of dating Trip.”

Dad scratched his head. “Why would he think that?”

“Because Trip and I made Jackson believe we’re a couple.”

His lips twist. “Why would Trip agree to that?”

“We ran into Jackson at the restaurant last night. After I filled Trip in, he came up with a brilliant plan to make Jackson jealous by pretending to date each other.”

He rubs his face. “Honey, I know you’ve been in love with Jackson for a long time, and he hurt you real bad, but this seems like an awfully dangerous way to go about getting his attention. Sometimes things that start out as a game can get very serious and very out of hand quickly when it comes to playing with people’s hearts.”

I take a step towards him and throw my arms around his thin shoulders. “We’ve got it all under control, Dad. Don’t worry. I promise no one will get hurt.”

He sighs into my hair. “I can’t help but worry. You’re my baby. I don’t like to see you upset.”

I hug him tighter. It’s nice to know at least one person in this world loves me.

Chapter 7

I Said It

TRIP

I yank the black and white jersey over my head and then readjust my vented pants that Bill just gave me to ride in while I’m here. If I go into this business I need to see if Lanie and Aubrey’s new advertising company can get the Black Falcon logo on some track wear. That would be badass.

“You look good,” Holly says as she walks in the garage. “You look like the real deal.”

I glance down at my new gear. “It’s pretty sweet. I never knew these pants were part rubber, though.”

She leans against the bike I’m standing next to. “Haven’t you ridden before?”

“Of course I have, but only for fun, never on a track like this,” I admit to her.

She tilts her head. “I was under the impression you were a bike riding expert. That’s why your friend, Mr. Snare, hired you.”

I laugh. It’s kind of cute that she’s so clueless. “I’m an expert at many things, but riding a bike isn’t one of them. You won’t see me doing any crazy jumps today, not that I’d be afraid to learn.”

She smiles. “Awesome, now I have something to give you in return for helping me out with Jackson. I’ll teach you some basic tricks.”

“You can do that shit?” When she nods, I swear she just got a little fucking hotter. “Awesome. I’ll take that deal. Speaking of deals, I’m glad things are going well with the asshole.”

Holly pinches my arm. “Let’s not call him names. He wanted to kiss me. This actually seems to be working pretty well. He’s totally jealous.”

I grab the helmet off the bike handle and glance over at her. “You didn’t let him kiss you, did you?” She shakes her head, and for some crazy reason I feel relieved, which is really fucked up. The plan is working. The guy wants her. I should be thrilled. “Good. Don’t let him. You need to play hard to get a while longer.”

She licks her lips. “So we need to still pretend to date?”

“Oh, yeah, his suffering has just begun.”

She laughs. “I think I’m beginning to enjoy your sadistic way of thinking. Payback is exactly what Jackson needs. This is the best I’ve felt in a couple weeks.”

I tilt my head as I study her. “Are you sure about that? It seemed like you were feeling pretty good at the bar when you were with me.”

She throws her hands on her hips. “Are you ever going to let that go? I told you I was drunk. I’m not normally so forward.”

I chuckle. “Oh, believe me, sweetness, I learned that yesterday.”

Holly wears a smug grin. “Why because I didn’t fall for all the lines you threw me about getting into my pants. Being so direct won’t always get what you want, you know.”

I shove the helmet back onto the handlebar. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s worked pretty well for me so far in a lot of aspects of my life.” I nod towards the bike that’s parked next to mine. “Come show me around this place.”

She smiles. “All right. Let me go grab my gear from the house. I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

I nod. “I’ll push the bike out and wait for you.”

Holly turns and walks out of the garage and I can’t help but to watch her ass as she leaves. It’s pretty fucking great. Too great in my opinion for Jackson—guys like us don’t deserve nice girls.

I flick the kickstand down into the gravel and lean against it while I wait on Holly. The screen door on the office slams shut and Jackson comes sauntering out. The suit he’s wearing is identical to mine—only I wear it better.

Jackson smirks as he eyes the bike behind me. “You’re a rider? How come I’ve never seen you around here before?”

I pull a pair of sunglasses out of my pocket and slip them on my face. “I’m new in town.”

“Is that right?” I don’t care for the snide tone in his voice. No one challenges me even a little bit and gets away with it.

I stiffen my back. “Yeah. That’s right. What of it?”

Jackson raises his eyebrows. “It’s just I know all the riders around here.”

“Like I said, I’m new, and to be honest I don’t care for the fucking third degree you’re trying to give me. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll back off. Now.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “Maybe you don’t get how things work around here, so I’m going to fill you in. I run this place. Nothing goes on around here without my okay.”

I laugh. “That’s funny, because I sure as hell swooped in and stole your girl from under your nose.”

He shakes his head. “You and I both know I can get Holly back anytime I want her. When I get tired of fucking around and I’m ready to settle down, she’ll take me back. Don’t doubt my hold on her. I own her.”

My fingers curl into fists at my side. I know the plan is to make him want her back, but after talking to this motherfucker, I know she deserves better. The urge to protect her rages inside me. “That’s what you fucking think. I’d like to see you try and take her from me.”

Jackson smirks. “Care to place a bet on that?”

Is this asshole for real? He has no idea who in the hell he’s challenging. “I don’t need to gamble on something that I know is a sure thing.”

He steps closer, invading my personal space. “I was with her two years. I could fuck her right in front of you if I wanted.”

“Watch your fucking mouth. I swear if you say one more thing about her—”

“You’ll what?” he dares me. “Hit me? Do you know who I am, pretty-boy? My lawyers will eat you for breakfast.”

His threat doesn’t even faze me and it’s obvious he has no clue who I am, and that I don’t give a fuck about the law. It’s never stopped me from ripping into someone’s ass before, and it’s not going to start now. “Talk about her like that again, and see what happens.”

Jackson’s tongue touches the corner of his mouth as he wears a smug smile. “You don’t know what you’ve fucking started. I’m going to take her away from you now just because I can. Your days are numbered, prick.”

The muscle in my jaw flexes. “Keep telling yourself that, while I’m in her room at night tasting that sweet pussy.”

Without warning Jackson sucker punches me square in the nose, knocking the sunglasses off my face. I grab my nose and my eyes water as I stand there stunned. “Motherfucker!”

He bends his knees, and waves his hands at me. “Come on! I’m not through with you.”

I wipe the blood away from my nose and smirk. “You hit like a fucking girl. Is that the best you fucking got? You’re a dead man!”

I lunge at Jackson but I’m halted in my tracks the moment Holly steps between us and shoves a petite hand into each of our chests. “Stop it! What’s wrong with you two?”

Jackson shakes his head and takes a few steps back while staring me down. “You’re lucky she saved your ass.”

My nostrils flare as I stare him down. The urge to pull Holly out of the way to chase Jackson down to finish what he started rages through every inch of me. I want to rip his fucking head off and spit down his throat, but the second my eyes meet Holly’s sad expression I still.

“Let it go, Trip. He’s just being a jealous asshole,” Holly says as she places both hands on the sides of my face so she can inspect the damage. “Are you okay?”

I glance up at Jackson who seems to be even angrier that Holly has chosen my side. This is the perfect time to drive home the fact that she no longer belongs to him. Playing on her sympathy in front of him will piss him off, which is exactly what I want to do.

I sigh and poke my lip out a little. “I’m okay, but my nose hurts.”

She tilts her head and strokes my cheek with thumb. “Let’s go get you some ice.”

Jackson growls in the background while Holly grabs my hand and pulls me in the direction of the house. A smug smile fills my face as the knowledge that this isn’t going to be as easy as he thought fills Jackson’s pea-sized brain.

When I decide I want something, no one takes it from me. At this moment I’ve decided that Holly needs to be mine for the simple fact that I don’t want Jackson to have her. That motherfucker doesn’t deserve to have her, and I know it fucks with my plan to not get mixed up with her, but damn it, I can’t stand the thought of Jackson with her.

I have to do whatever I can to prove to her that she can move on and love someone else—even if that someone else is me.

I know it’s selfish reasoning, like a spoiled child not wanting to share toys, but I never claimed to be a saint. And I can’t deny that I want her. She’s on my mind way too much and it’s driving me crazy. Maybe if I get her to like me enough to sleep with me that feeling will go away.

Not since Jessica, has one woman been on my mind for so long and it’s got me worried. I thought I was in love with her, but she fucked me over and nearly ruined my entire life with her bullshit. I can’t bring myself to trust women again—they can cause insurmountable damage.

The challenge of winning Holly over to spite Jackson is something I have to do. If only for my own selfish pride, I can’t let that douchebag win. Making Holly really like me is going to take more than my normal game. I’m going to have to let down my walls and let her in a little to see that I can actually be a nice guy when I want to be.

––––––––

HOLLY

I close the front door behind us and lead Trip into the living room. The flat pillows on the couch need a good fluffing to be comfortable, so I pick one up and squeeze and rotate it before tossing it back down. “Lie down here while I get that ice for you.”

Trip pinches the bridge of his nose and obediently follows my command as I rush off to the kitchen. We don’t have an ice pack, so I grab a bag of peas from the freezer. I turn back and head back to Trip. The length of his long legs occupies nearly all the room on the couch and his feet hang off the end. His large hands rest on top of his chest as he lies there with his eyes closed. He looks so peaceful, like he’s sleeping, I’m almost afraid to disturb him.

I sit on the edge of the cough at his side and whisper, “Hey. I brought you something for your nose.”

He opens his eyes as I lay the small bag across his nose and gives me a small smile. “Thank you.”

For some reason the need to comfort him more washes over me. I smooth back the hair on his forehead. “You’re welcome. Why did he hit you?”

Trip shrugs. “He told me to stay away from you and I politely refused.”

I tilt my head. “Why do I doubt that you do anything nicely?”

“Because I haven’t been very nice to you since I got here...” His eyes search my face. “But I want to change that.”

I gaze into his green eyes as my heart does a double thump in my chest. “What do you mean?”

He pulls the peas away from his face and props himself up on an elbow, bringing our faces so close his warm breath blows across my lips. “It means I want us to be real friends—not pretend ones, or someone you feel like you have to be nice to out of obligation. I want you to genuinely like me the way I like you.”

I lick my lips. “You like me?”

“You know I do. Would I really agree to pretend to date you if I didn’t? You’re fun to be around and I want to get to know you better.”

“That sounds like a good plan. After we punish Jackson enough, and I decide to take him back, we can go on as real friends.”

There’s tightness in his expression when I mention Jackson. “Are you sure you even want that guy back, Holly? He doesn’t seem like he’s that into you.”

I turn my gaze away from him. “Did he say that?”

Trip puts his index finger under my chin and turns my face towards his. “No, but some of things he said...someone who really cares about you wouldn’t say those kinds of things.”

I swallow hard. “What did he say?”

“He told me he could take you away from me anytime he wanted because he owned you.”

“Is that why you two were fighting?” I question in almost a whisper.

Trip nods. “I don’t know what came over me. The things he said, they made me snap and I lost my cool. I said some things I probably shouldn’t have. That’s why he punched me.”

I bite my lip and reach up to touch his face. “Your nose got broken because you were defending my honor?”

He smiles. “I guess so.”

His admission of such a sweet gesture moves me. On instinct I lean forward and kiss him softly. “Thank you.”

The pull towards him is ridiculous and I know he’s a player, but damn it I can’t help wanting him. The slippery warmth of his mouth closes over mine and I shut my eyes, enjoying every second.

Desire glazes over his hooded eyes as I pull away. He reaches up and moves a strand of hair away from my face. “You’re welcome.”

Without warning we throw ourselves together for another kiss. My arms wrap around Trip’s neck and he tugs my hips closer. Our tongues whirl together and Trip sits up, cradling me in his arms, pulling me against his chest. One of his hands snake up my back and finds its way into my hair, while I reposition my legs until I’m straddling him.

He groans against my neck as I move my hips, rubbing my crotch over the erection in his jeans. The seam of my shorts presses against my clit and I close my eyes imagining what it would be like if we were naked doing this. I’ve often wondered what it would be like to be with someone other than Jackson, and Trip makes it feel like it’ll be even better than I imagined.

My damp panties cling to my skin as I continue to ride Trip. “God, sweetness. You don’t know how much I’ve thought about this over the last couple of days. It’s been so hard to deny myself this.”

My tongue darts out and I lick his top lip. “Then stop fighting it.”

Trip slides his hands down my body and finds the hem of my riding shirt and tank-top. Soft fingers find their way onto the bare skin of my lower back before working their way up to my breasts. His nimble fingers slide inside one of the cups of my bra and he pushes it down, allowing my nipple to spring free. He rolls my tightened bud between his fingers and licks the inside of my mouth.

“I’ve been thinking about getting these titties in my mouth all damn day. I imagine everything on your tight little body tastes like heaven. Please tell me that you want this...”

I swallow hard. This is so out of character for me, but for some reason I’m drawn to Trip like crazy. I know it’s wrong to want this with him, but my body doesn’t understand that. All it knows is that this feels amazing and it can’t get enough.

I open my mouth to tell Trip to take me, but my front door opens and I freeze at the sound of Jackson’s voice. “Holly? Are you in here?”

I shove Trip’s hands out from under my shirt at the same time Jackson walks into the house and spots us. “Jackson? What are you doing in here?”

Jackson’s eyes narrow. “I came to apologize for being an asshole, but I can see you both are clearly busy.”

I jump up from Trip’s lap as Jackson turns and walks out the door. “Jackson, wait! It’s not—”

Trip grabs my wrist. “Don’t insult him by telling him it isn’t what it looks like.”

I frown. “Can’t you see how hurt he is? I have to find him.”

“Let him go, he’ll get over it. If you chase him down you might as well be ready to beg him to take you back. Do you really want him to have the upper hand in your relationship again?”

It’s second nature to chase Jackson down and apologize to him. I’ve been doing that over and over for the past year. Every time we fought, he would turn things around and everything would always end up being my fault—just like this situation.

As if Trip can read my mind he says, “It’s not you who needs to do the chasing. He cheated on you, remember? You aren’t together now, we weren’t doing anything wrong.”

I allow him to tug me back down on the couch and tuck me under his arm. “I hate playing games with people.”

He sighs and kisses the top of my head. “You’re too sweet for your own good.”

Maybe Dad was right. We’ve just begun this little game and it’s already becoming dangerous.

Chapter 8

Bringing Down the Giant

HOLLY

Trip and I sit in at the front counter together going over more financial documents. Over the last week we’ve spent every day going over some aspect of this track together. Yesterday I finally got Trip onto the track for the second time. He knows how to handle himself pretty well on a bike. I was impressed with his skills, considering he told me he hasn’t been on a bike in a few years. It reminded me of the real reason he’s here, and helped me to get over the crazy moment we shared together on the couch.

Jackson hasn’t come around the track since the fight last week. Maybe that’s for the best. It’s good to know it’s finally over and he doesn’t deem me worthy of fighting for. At least I know where I stand with him.

“I think I’m finally able to decipher Bill’s chicken scratch. It’s only taken me a week to get it.” Trip looks up from the binder full of office expenses he’s going through and asks, “Where is Bill? He’s been outside washing the bikes for a long time. Do you want me to go check on him?”

I stand and stretch my arms. “That’s okay. I’ll go do it. I need a break anyhow.”

He nods and then returns his attention back to taking notes. I glance up at the clock. Those bikes must’ve been really dirty—Dad’s been out there for nearly four hours.

The garage door is wide open and I hear water slapping the concrete around the corner. I pause the moment my eyes focus on the source of the sound. Jackson is there washing the bikes. I glance around, searching for Dad, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

Jackson notices me watching him and shuts off the water before tossing the hose to the ground. He dries his hands on seat of his pants as he approaches me. “Hey, Holl. How are you?”

I twist my fingers together. This is an encounter I’m not prepared for. “I’m good. What are you doing here?”

He shoves his hands deep in his pockets. “I came by to see you, hoping we could talk, but I ran into your dad. He didn’t look well, so I told him to go rest and I’d finish up here.”

“Thank you. That was sweet of you. He’s been like that for a while, but he refuses to go to the doctor,” I admit.

“If it’s money...I can help with the bills if he needs to be checked out. I don’t mind.”

I shake my head. “I can’t take anything from you, Jackson.”

He rubs his hand over his shaved head. “Max told me why that Trip guy is here.”

I fold my arms. “That wasn’t Max’s business to tell.”

“Don’t be mad at him. He was only trying to help. Max knows I have connections in this business. Why haven’t you come to me about this place’s money problems?”

I shrug. “By the time I found out how bad things truly were the bank was starting the foreclosure process. There’s nothing you could’ve done at that point. That’s why I didn’t go back to school this fall. Dad needs my help until this investor comes through.”

He frowns. “I wish I would’ve known that your father was struggling so much. He never said a word about it.”

“He’s too proud. It was hard for him to tell me. All year at school I didn’t have a clue either. Nothing was mentioned until I came home this summer. I had to corner him about why he was a pile of bones and always so stressed. It broke my heart when he told me.”

“What happened to all the money from last summer’s events? Did he tell you where it went?”

My body tenses and I nod. “He gave it all to her.”

Jackson’s mouth pulls into a tight line. “You mean Grace?”

Visions of the last time I saw of the egg donor pop into my head. She came here with some skinny, grease-ball looking guy in a beat-up pick-up truck, geeking out of her mind. Her blonde hair was clumped together in sections, like it hadn’t seen water or soap in weeks, and there were red splotches all over her skin. It was so clear she chose her drug habit over everything thing else in her life—including food. She was so skinny a stiff breeze would knock her over. Nothing else matters to her—not even me—except finding a way to get her next fix. “Yeah. Dad’s been an easy mark since I’ve been away. He’s determined to believe my mother is still in there somewhere.”

“Jesus,” he mutters.

Jackson and Max are my only two friends that know all about my mother, and how my father has spent the better part of half my life trying to save her from herself. I know Trip is searching everywhere in those binders in the office for the answer for why this track is failing, but he’s not going to find it in there. There’s no place in those files for, “Give all money to drug-addict wife and ruin everyone else’s lives”.

Tears fill my vision and I drop my head and bat them away. Thinking of Grace does this to me every time. I wish there was a way to wipe someone out of your memory and life for good.

Jackson wraps his arms around me and I cling to him. “Please let me help you? Come to dinner with me tonight. I have a plan to save the track I want to talk to you about.”

I sniff. “Okay. Just as friends.”

“Of course,” he replies.

I rub my eyes. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

He doesn’t say a word, only tugs me tighter and allows the emotion to flow out of me.

––––––––

TRIP

Holly’s been gone a long time. I wonder if Bill is okay? I’ve gotten to know the routine around here pretty well over the last week, and for Bill to take this long to do anything is out of character. He’s a hard worker, but gets gassed easily. I can’t count the number of times Holly has begged her father to go to the doctor, and I’ve even found myself taking her side on the topic.

Spending all my time with Bill and Holly reminds me of how nice having a regular life with a family can be, but it also brings on the concern you feel for others well-being. On the road it’s easy just to care about myself and the other guys in the band. It feels so surreal that it’s easy to pretend everyone else’s problems don’t exist—only finding concern when it affects me directly.

I make my way outside towards the garage. My mouth drops open when I round the corner and find Holly wrapped in Jackson’s arms. Her head rests against his chest as he strokes the back of her blonde head. A lump builds in my throat knowing the connection I felt with her this past week has meant nothing to her, and she’s going right back to that jackass.

Jackson’s eyes whip in my direction and he smirks over Holly’s head so she can’t see his expression while he flips me off. His way of saying he won makes my blood boil. My instinct drives me to rip Holly away from her and find a way to make her stay away from him and ask her to give me a chance. Can’t she see how much I want her?

I sigh and back away. Jackson’s smile grows wider. As much as I want her, I won’t try to force her to like me back the same way. I can’t even explain why I want her so much—I just know that I do. I haven’t had this much fun with a woman in a long time.

I turn and head to the house, not wanting to see her with him anymore.

Inside their house I hear the soft noise of the television playing in the living room. Bill’s sitting in the recliner, covered in a blanket, the remote in his hand. His color is grayer than normal, and his blue eyes appear to be sunken in a little.

I sit on the couch across from him. “You don’t look good, Bill. I think it’s time you give into Holly and get yourself to the doctor.”

“Can’t,” is all he says.

In good conscience I can’t sit her and allow a man to compromise his health because he doesn’t have the money to pay his doctor to check him out. Something has to give. “Bill, if I tell you something, do you promise not to get angry and to keep the secret between us?”

He readjusts in his chair. “Depends on how bad it is.”

I laugh. “It’s nothing bad—more like something about myself I want to keep private.”

“If that’s the case, I have no problem with that. We all have things we don’t want other people to know.”

I rub my face and let out a deep breath. It’s now or never. “I’m the investor.”

Bill raises his eyebrows. “You? Why wouldn’t you lead us to believe it was your friend?”

“I didn’t want who I am to complicate things? I wanted to come here and get a look first hand at the business and to get to know you,” I admit.

He tilts his head. “Who exactly are you, Trip?”

“I’m the drummer for Black Falcon.”

“Wow...” Bill trails off. “I wasn’t expecting that. I can’t say I’ve heard your music, but those entertainment shows sure mention your band a lot.” He glances around his house. “I bet you’re used to staying in places a lot better than this.”

I chuckles. “I suppose so, but hotels don’t have the charm this place does.”

“Ah, charm. What you mean to say is they don’t have Holly.” He lowers his gaze at me.

I lick my lips. “I’ll admit, I like your daughter, but I don’t think she feels the same way about me.”

“She likes you, trust me. I know enough about my daughter to know that.”

I sigh. “Even if she does, I think she likes Jackson more.”

Bill shakes his head. “Those two have history, and Holly is still young. She doesn’t know how to let go of a love that is no longer there. We have that in common. Give it time. Jackson will disappoint her again. He always does.”

“I don’t know, Bill. They looked pretty cozy a few minutes ago.”

Bill crosses his legs at the ankles. “That’s Jackson for you. The boy never did share well with others. Take this track for instance—thinks he owns it, like he can do whatever he wants here. Chases off riders he doesn’t want around. The boy has cost me a lot of business, running off any guy that stared at Holly a little to long, but I didn’t say much because I knew Holly loved him. That all changed a few weeks ago when he came here to call it quits with my daughter. I told that little asshole that as long as there was still a breath left in my body, I owned this place.”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been sick the entire time I’ve been here. Why don’t you want to go to the doctor, Bill? If it’s money, don’t worry about that. I’ll see to it that this place gets insurance, and I pay for any medical bills you may get until then.”

Bill shakes his head. “I can’t let you do that, Trip. What I have isn’t curable. It would be a waste of your money.”

My brow furrows. “You mean you already know there’s something wrong with you?”

He nods while wearing a solemn expression. “I have HIV.”

A gasp leaves my body. I’ve never actually known someone with that virus, and I never would’ve expected an upstanding family man like Bill Pearson to have it. My eyes trace down Bill’s frail body, and things start to click. “Why haven’t you told Holly?”

Tears well up in his eyes, and he bats one away as it slips down his face. “Because there’s nothing she can do to fix it. My girl is a fixer, and it’ll destroy her because she can’t fix this. I would rather things take their natural course and she find out after I’m gone. It’ll be easier that way.”

He’s right about Holly, but that doesn’t change the fact that she should know. “Easier for who? You or her?”

He shrugs. “For both of us. I don’t want to hurt my baby. The thought that I’ll probably leave her sooner rather than later crushes me.”

“How long have you had it?” I ask.

“My wife, Grace, contracted the virus about fifteen years ago and gave it to me. I think now since I stopped getting my medications last year, things are getting worse.”

“Is that Holly’s mom? Is she still alive?” I’ve wondered about where her mother is, but I never asked because I figured it wasn’t my business.

“Yes, if you want to call what she does living. She’s a heroine addict. After Grace cheated on me and discovered she’d given me HIV, she couldn’t handle the guilt. She ran off—cut pretty much all contact with Holly and me, except when she’s out of money. That’s when she comes around. When she’s desperate to find a way to get her next fix, she comes home, and I always give in.”

I shake my head. That’s so fucking sad. I know Noel Falcon’s drug use once destroyed Black Falcon. Thank God Riff was able to get through to Noel before he got in too deep and ruined his life. “Jesus, I’m sorry. Drugs can royally screw a person’s life up. That’s a shame.”

“That’s what Holly used to say, but as she got older the emotion she felt towards her mother went from sympathy to anger. The last few years, every time Grace has come around, Holly chases her away and won’t allow her to speak to me. I was grateful to her, I could never tell Grace, “No”, but Holly is a lot stronger than me. She stands up for what’s right. She’s special.”

The weight of this secret presses down on my heart. How is this fair that I know this about her father and she doesn’t? Bill’s right. Holly is special. I knew it when I first laid eyes on her in the club. She stood out to me against all the other women vying for my attention—and she wasn’t even trying. That easy smile she wore when she hugged Max—the way she cut loose on the floor—I knew I had to have her and I didn’t even care if she was with another guy. That goes against everything I stand for. I hate cheaters. I was screwed over, so I know how bad it sucks. Cheating nearly ruined my life, but none of that even entered my brain because something about Holly drew me in and I was powerless to fight against it.

The inner turmoil must be easy to see on my face. Bill leans forward in his chair and catches my gaze. “Trip, neither of us wants Holly to find out what we’re keeping from her, so the only way I’ll promise to keep your secret is if you keep mine.”

I stare at this selfless man, who loves his daughter so much he’s willing to shield that he’s dying to save her some heartache. My heart cracks at the thought of how painful this must be for him. I don’t want to see Holly or Bill hurting. There has to be something I can do.

“Bill, I’m ready to agree to be your partner in this business, I’ll shake on it right now if you agree to allow me to pay for your doctor visits and medications. I want to keep you here for Holly as long as I can.” I know I can’t make this all go away, but considering the cards that have been dealt before me, it’s the best offer I can come up with. “Please let me do this for you.”

He doesn’t answer right away, just stares at the television absently for a few moments, but then he nods. “Okay. I’d be a fool to turn a deal like that down.”

I give him a small smile and extend my hand to him. “Do we have a deal?”

Bill’s hand meets mine. “We do, partner.”

And just like that I’ve agreed to take on half of the tracks problems in the hopes that someday we’ll be able to turn this place around and actually see a profit.

Tyke is going to ream me out for making such a hasty decision. He won’t understand that this just felt like the right thing to do. I’ve got to go with my gut on this one. I believe I can make a real difference here, so this is where I need to be.

Chapter 9

She Will Be Loved

Holly

I study the way the blue dress hugs my curves in the mirror. This isn’t exactly a “we’re purely platonic” outfit but it’s perfect for torturing Jackson some more. I almost feel bad about playing this game with him now, but when I allow myself to think about him sleeping with other women behind my back it relieves the guilt, and keeps pushing me to act indifferent towards him.

“I love the color of that dress,” Max says as he glances up from a magazine while lying on my bed. “Blue has always been your color. It matches your eyes. But I wish you weren’t wearing it to impress the asshole.”

I smooth the dress down. “Do you think it’s wrong to make someone jealous on purpose?”

“If you’re talking about making Jackson jealous, then you already know my answer. You know how I feel about him.”

I put my hands on my hips. “What if I am? How would that affect your answer?”

Max closes the magazine and tosses it next to him. “That asshole doesn’t deserve any more of your energy. He cheated on you, Holly. Then said he didn’t love you. Don’t let him mess with your head just because you’ve got something going with the new meat in town. Jackson’s fucked with your head long enough. He always strings you along. It’s time to move on, and maybe Trip’s the guy to do that with.”

“I thought you said he’s not the right kind of guy for me? What’s with the sudden change of heart?”

Max throws his legs over the edge of the bed. “I’ve seen you two together. The way both of you look at the other...I don’t know...it’s weird, like you have some sort of connection. I think I was wrong about him. Besides, I don’t care much for Jackson threatening to beat my ass if I didn’t tell him everything I knew about Trip. That jerk is the biggest fucking bully. I can’t understand what you ever saw in him.”

“I’m sorry he did that to you. He can be an asshole sometimes, I know.” I sit next to Max, my heart feeling heavy that I’ve been keeping things from him about Trip. “If I tell you something, promise not to yell at me?”

He tilts his head. “When have I ever yelled at you?”

I laugh. “Okay, maybe you don’t yell, but you certainly like to try and change my mind when you think I’m doing something bad.”

“I only do that because I love you, Holl. And, yes, I firmly believe if you would take my advice more often where men are concerned you’d be happier.”

I sigh. “I know, which is why I need your advice now.”

Max twists his lips. “I’m all ears.”

I clutch my hands together in my lap. “Trip and I aren’t actually dating.”

His brow furrows. “What do you mean? You told me last week Jackson and Trip got into it because Jackson is jealous you’re dating Trip. I don’t understand.”

I take a deep breath. “I know that’s what I said, but the truth is, we’ve sort of been pretending to be an item.”

Max leans his head back and groans. “Oh no. Tell me you didn’t rope Trip into making Jackson jealous.”

I grimace. “It was his idea.”

“And you thought it was a good one? When did you make this little deal?”

“The day after we met him at the bar.”

“So after you kissed him?”

I nod. “Yes.” Max laughs and I smack his leg. “Why is that so funny?”

“You honestly think you two can pretend to like each other without real emotions getting involved?” I open my mouth to answer, but he cuts me off. “I saw you two at the bar, remember. That’s attraction, babe, and you can only fight that for so long. This is going to blow up in your face.”

“So you think what Trip and I are doing is a mistake?”

He shakes his head. “No. I think trying to win Jackson back is a mistake. Trip seems to be really into you. I’d rather you see where that leads.”

“Where is this coming from? Aren’t you the one who warned me off of him a couple weeks ago?”

“I was, but that was before I saw the two of you together.”

“Even if I think I might have feelings for Trip, he’s leaving, so they won’t matter. I don’t want to develop feelings for a guy that’s not even going to stick around.”

“You don’t know that. He might be willing to leave everything behind to move out here if things work out.”

“That’s crazy talk, Max. I only know the very basics about him. I know he’s from Kentucky, has a twin brother, and his parents are still married. Other than that, I don’t know a thing about him. I don’t even know if he has a real job.”

“Well, why don’t you ask him?”

“You think it’s that simple?”

“Yes. Yes, I do. Trip should be the one you’re going out on a date with tonight, not Jackson. You like him. Admit it and get to know him.”

“I told you, this isn’t a date with Jackson. He has a way to help the track, so this is a business dinner.”

Max rubs his chin. “Then why didn’t he tell you to bring your dad along?”

I have no answer to that, really. That’s a great question. “I don’t know. Maybe he feels more comfortable just talking to me about it first?”

He raises his eyebrow. “He’s known your dad just as long as he’s been coming to this track. Face it. Jackson is a spoiled toddler who doesn’t like to share his toys. If he really loved you, Holly, it wouldn’t take another man showing an interest in you to make him remember that. People want what they can’t have. It’d be smart of you to remember that.”

What he says makes perfect sense, yet the curiosity to see how Jackson thinks we can save the track wins out. “You’re probably right, but I still need to go.”

Max reaches over and holds my hand in his lap. “Just be careful, would you? I don’t want to get my ass kicked when I try and go beat those two jerks up over hurting you. Believe it or not, I’m delicate.”

I laugh and pat his hand. “You’re such a good friend.”

He grins. “That’s what a best friend is for.”

After I double check myself in the mirror, Max and I head downstairs. The heavenly aroma of sizzling steak fills the lower level of the house. Dad is fast asleep, curled up under a blanket in his recliner while Trip is busy in the kitchen, cooking. I study my father, he looks so much older than he did even five years ago. It makes me sad he doesn’t take better care of himself. He’s all I have left and I wish he would at least make an effort to get well for me.

“You two are just in time. The food is nearly done. Hope you guys like your steaks medium, if not I can leave them on a little longer,” Trip says as he glances over his shoulder. “Can you grab me a plate for these, Holly?”

My heels click against the wood floor as I walk to the cabinet. I hand him the plate. “This is so sweet of you.”

Trip shrugs. “We’re celebrating.”

I raise an eyebrow because my curiosity is killing me. “Oh? What might that be?”

He slaps the steaks on the plate and smiles. “Mountain Time Speed Track has an investor.”

“Really?!” I squeal and throw my around his neck. “That’s amazing news!”

He laughs and sets the food down before turning and wrapping his arms around my waist. The expression on his face turns serious the moment he takes in my outfit. “You look amazing. Are you going out somewhere?”

I nod. “Jackson has an idea to help save the track, so I’m meeting him for dinner to talk about it.”

His lips pull into a tight line. “Call and cancel. You don’t need his help anymore.”

“Trip...I can’t do that. Your investor friend signing on is great, but we need ways to drum up business. I have to hear what Jackson has to say. We need all the help we can get around here.” Trip opens his mouth, but quickly closes it when a horn honks twice outside. “That’s him. We’ll talk more tonight.”

I lean up and kiss his cheek before running out the door and hoping in Jackson’s car.

The familiar scent of leather and woodsy cologne assaults my nose as soon as I close the door, locking myself in with Jackson. I used to love this smell. Sitting in here now reminds me of a time when being with Jackson was very comforting, instead of the tension I feel being next to him now. I can’t help but wonder how many other women he has had in this very seat behind my back, and a mixture of sadness and anger wash over my heart.

“Wow! That’s some dress, Holl. It’s tight in all the right places,” Jackson says, his eyes appraising my outfit.

Typically that kind of compliment would have had me giggling like an idiot, but now it rubs me the wrong way, like all he’s interested in is my body. I remember those kinds of remarks being a lot sweeter. That is before I found out he was using them on every other girl around here.

I tug the hem of the dress down to cover my thighs a little better. “Thanks, I think.”

Jackson backs out of the parking lot and then turns in the direction of downtown Tucson before reaching over and taking my hand in his. “I’m so glad you decided to come out with me tonight. Things are going to be good this time, Holly. I promise.”

I withdraw my hand from his. “I only agreed to come out with you for the track, Jackson. This is just business.”

He readjusts in his seat, staring straight ahead. “Business it is, then.”

Neither of us says another word during the ride. Tension rolls around us, but I won’t be the one to break it. He asked me to come out with him. He knows we aren’t together, and it’s unfair of him to think I would just give in and be an easy lay.

Once we’re seated at the small table in the restaurant, Jackson says, “This is awkward. Maybe this was a mistake. We can leave.”

Panic washes through me as I realize he might not help unless I give in a little. “Let’s start over. I’d like us to be friends.”

Jackson toys with the fork in front of him. “Friends, huh? You know, that night in your room, I was hoping we could part as friends, so I could move on without a guilty conscience, but when I hear you say it—it stings.”

I sigh. “Jackson...you chose to end things.”

“I know, and I’m here to say I made a mistake. I want you to take me back, Holly. You know we’re good together. Things could go back to how they were and I can help you set up a motocross competition to draw a crowd to the track.”

I shake my head. “I don’t want things to go back to how they were.”

His brow pulls in. “Don’t you want to get back together?”

This is the moment I’ve been wanting—for Jackson to come crawling back, admitting he was wrong—so why don’t I feel excited? I take a deep breath and Trip’s face pops into my head, which puzzles me. Why would I be thinking of him at a time like this?

As if Jackson is poking around in my brain, he asks, “Is it because of Trip?”

My eyes widen at his forwardness. “No. Well, I mean, a little, yes, but the main reason I don’t want to take you back has to do with you.”

“Me?” he asks with a surprised face. “I admitted I made a mistake by fooling around on you, and I’m sorry. Can’t we just move past that?”

I shake my head. “You don’t get it, do you? It’s not just the fact that you cheated—that’s just one of the reasons. You lied to me. I bet it went on a lot longer than you lead me to believe. You probably just got tired of hiding it all the time.” He opens his mouth to argue, but I don’t give him the opportunity, and the reasons I don’t want him back flow freely from my mouth. “You never supported the idea of me going away to college, even though I had my heart set on it. And I don’t like how you treat Max.”

His eyes narrow. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t like you harassing my friend. Max told me you threatened him if he didn’t tell you why Trip was here.”

“I only did that because I was worried about the guy’s intentions. I don’t like to see you get hurt.”

I laugh sarcastically. “That’s rich. You can hurt me but no one else can.”

Jackson’s jaw muscle flexes under his skin. “You know what, Holly, I’m done.”

“You’re done? What does that even mean?”

“It means that I lost my mind believing that I wanted you back. Tell Trip he won and he can have your bitchy ass.” He rises from the table.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving. Find your own way home.” Jackson throws a twenty on the table. “That should cover your meal.”

My mouth drops open as I watch him turn and leave the restaurant. I can’t believe that asshole just left me stranded here. Max was right. I’m beginning to question my own judgment on what I ever saw in that guy.

The petite, blonde waitress approaches the table. “Would you like to order your drinks now, or are we waiting on someone else?”

I dig in my purse and hand her my fake ID. “It’s just me, and I would like to start with something from the bar.”

TRIP

The way Holly tore out of here made my heart sink. I know her goal is getting Jackson back, and I’m a dumbass for beginning to care about a girl who loves someone else, but I wish she would reconsider that asshole. The idea that he could be kissing those sweet lips of hers right now makes my blood boil. I’ve tasted those lips, and all I’ve done over the past week is thought about doing it again.

I stab the steak in front of me with my fork and vigorously begin cutting it, while picturing Jackson’s smug face.

“Whoa. What did that thing ever do to you?” Max asks.

I shrug. “Nothing. I was just thinking.”

“About Holly and Jackson,” Max prods before taking a bite.

My eyes flick to his, but I don’t answer. I don’t need him knowing my business.

Max takes a drink of water and then sets his glass down. “I never did like the guy.”

“Why?” I ask and then take another bite before glancing over at Bill, who is still asleep in the recliner. “I thought you all were friends or something.”

“Or something...” Max says. “Jackson Cruze is a narrow-minded homophobe who talks with his fists.”

“You two have gotten into it before?”

Max nods. “Oh, yeah, many times.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And Holly stayed with him. I thought girl-code was if the boyfriend and the best friend didn’t get along, the guy didn’t last long.”

Max shrugs. “I never told her.”

“Why not?”

“I might be gay, Trip, but I still have pride like any other man. I don’t want everyone to know I get my ass beat every time I turn around, especially not my female best friend who treats me more like a man than most people around here do.”

“I thought no one knows your...sexual orientation.”

“I’ve never officially come out if that’s what you mean, but people have speculated for a long time now.”

I take a deep breath. “You still should’ve told Holly what a dick Jackson has been to you.”

He shakes his head. “I wanted her to open her eyes to what an asshole he is on her own. Holly is hard-headed, and if I’d tried to tell her things about Jackson that she wasn’t ready to hear, she wouldn’t have believed them. She’s the kind of girl that has to see things with her own eyes. Like that old saying goes, love is blind.”

“So I’ve heard.” I swallow down the last bite of my food and lean back in the chair, thinking about all the crazy shit Black Falcon has been through with Noel and Riff and all their women bullshit. Those two guys never listen to my advice in the matters of the heart. It’s like they’re too caught up in their own drama to see reason.

Max’s cell vibrates against the table, and I can clearly see Holly’s name across the caller ID. I pick up the phone without asking his permission and answer, swatting his hand away. “How’s your date?”

“Trip? Why are you answering Max’s phone?” The confusion in her voice rings clear.

“We’re here enjoying these delicious steaks you ran out on. Where are you?” She sniffs into the phone and I realize she’s crying. I stiffen in my chair. “What’s wrong? Did Jackson hurt you?”

My hand tightens around the phone at the exact moment Max pushes away from the table and heads out the door. I watch through the window as he gets into his car and tears out of the driveway. I probably should ask where he’s going, but whatever it is, it’s his business.

“No. He didn’t hurt me, but he left me here at Paulo’s. Can you ask Max to come and get me?”

My heart pounds in my chest. The thought of Holly being alone and stranded hits me hard. Bad things can happen to women left alone in a vulnerable state. The next time I see Jackson, he’s a dead man. “I’ll come and get you. Stay put inside the restaurant,” I order.

“Okay,” she agrees before she disconnects the phone.

I lay Max’s phone on the table and search my own out of my pocket. I look up the restaurant’s address in my phone and then plug it into my phone’s GPS. Two minutes later I’m on the road, following the digital voice’s directions.

I pull up to Paulo’s and cut the engine. The little Mexican joint is hoping with a party inside. A DJ in the corner both spins the top pop hit of the week, and bodies pack the small dance floor.

Jackson brought her here to discuss track business? He obviously doesn’t really give a shit about Mountain Time. What a fucking douchebag.

I weave in and out of the bodies until I spot Holly alone at a corner table for two, sipping on a drink. There’s a deep frown on her face while she watches everyone around her. She sticks out sitting there all alone in a room full of people having a good time and I get the sudden urge to lift her sprits.

The second I reach her table the song Smooth by Santana plays over the speakers and I think back to the first time I saw her and what a good time she was having that night in the bar. I’ll do anything to see that smile again.

I extend my hand and her blue eyes trail up my arm and cheat until they meet mine. “Dance with me.”

Holly sets her drink down and places her hand in mine, allowing me to pull her up and lead her to the floor. The sexy guitar chorus screams as I pull her against me without permission. Both of her arms wrap around my neck and my hands slide down her back before resting on her slim hips. We rock in time to the beat, our eyes glued to one another’s, neither of us speaking a word while our bodies do all the talking.

Her mouth drops open when I allow my hands to wander down and grab a hold of her ass. I fully expect her to pull away and give me the evil eye, but she doesn’t. Instead, she shocks me by licking her lips in anticipation.

Holy mother of God.

Those lips. They’re all I’ve been dreaming about, but didn’t want to push her into fooling around with me again unless she wants to.

She presses up on her tiptoes and whispers in my ear, “Does your invitation from the first time we danced about taking me home still stand? I’m tired of thinking about Jackson. Make me forget about him like I know you want to.”

Holly licks my earlobe once before sucking on it. My eyes roll back in my head. She has no clue how much that fucking turns me on. I only have so much self-control I pull back and stare into her eyes. If I had to guess, she’s had a few drinks, but not enough to completely impair her judgment—just enough to loosen her up. I want her, but I want her to want me for the right reasons, not because she’s lonely and needs somebody.

Sensing my hesitation, she grabs each side of my face, pulling me down to kiss my lips. “If you want me to say please, I will. I know how you like women that beg.”

My cock jerks and I groan as I rub her ass. “You don’t know how much I want you.”

She wiggles her hips, rubbing her pelvis against mine and she grins. “I think I have a pretty good idea.”

That little naughty glint in her eyes is enough to allow my brain to say, “Fuck all the logical reasoning for not giving her what she’s asking for.” I thread my fingers in her hair and plant my lips on hers. She opens her mouth and allows my tongue entrance so I deepen our kiss.

I fucking want her. I know I shouldn’t and I’ve been fighting against this very thing happening since I found out who she was, but ever since the last taste I had of her on the couch, this is all I’ve been thinking about. I just didn’t want to seem like a pushy asshole bringing up the situation, especially since she was doing her best to pretend that nothing ever happened between us.

I pull back and stare into her lust-filled eyes before pulling her arms from around my neck and leading her out of the restaurant. I can’t wait any longer.

The moment we reach the Mustang, I spin Holly around and back her against the car. My mouth crashes into hers. She’s even sweeter than I remember and it’s fucking addicting.

I kiss a trail down her jaw line and nibble on the sensitive skin below her ear. Holly throws her head back and moans as I work my way back to her mouth.

“I want you, Trip. Take me home,” she says in a breathy voice.

I pull her forward and reach behind her, opening the car door. “Get in,” I order.

The entire fifteen-minute ride, Holly has her seatbelt off and leans across the console, rubbing my thigh while teasing me with kisses. We pull down into the driveway and my headlights shine on the house. Fuck. I can’t very well have my way with her upstairs while her ill father lays downstairs and has to listen to that. I’m not that fucking disrespectful.

As if Holly read my mind, she whispers in my ear, “Let’s go into the office.”

I hop out of the car and run around to the passenger side to let Holly out of the car. She threads her fingers through mine and leads me to the office. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down as she unlocks the door and pulls me inside. Tonight is all about the two of us. I want to show her that she can trust me and that we are good together.

Chapter 10

Gorilla

Holly

The moment we’re inside the office, Trip’s hands are everywhere. He’s tugging on my clothes and threading his fingers in my hair, pulling me deeper into his kiss. I’ve never felt so wanted and desired before. It’s like he can’t get enough of me and I love the way that makes me feel.

He backs me up against the counter and runs his hands down my bare shoulder, then down my torso, before finally settling on my hips. He grips my waist and hoists me onto the counter with ease. The hem of my blue dress stretches and it creeps up my thighs as Trip pushes himself between my legs. His lips attack mine again and I throw my hands in his hair to try and immerse myself in him more.

Trip wraps his arms around me and tugs me closer, but never stops kissing me. The weight of his body rubbing against me causes me to tingle all over. My panties grow wet as the sensation of the rigid material of his jeans presses against the sensitive flesh between my legs.

I’d be lying to myself if I say I haven’t wanted this with him since that night in the bar. No man has ever been able to make me aroused this quickly. There’s just something about him that’s very animalistic and I’m drawn to his take-charge attitude. The way he blatantly wants me is such a turn on. This is a man that goes for exactly what he wants and doesn’t make any excuses about it, which makes it even crazier that it’s me he wants. Every woman desires that.

“God, you’re all I want, Holly. I’ve dreamed of this moment since I first kissed you,” Trip says. “You’re the only woman that’s ever drove me crazy like this.”

Every instinct in my body is telling me he’s telling the truth. I can’t explain it, only that I feel it. It’s then I realize it’s him. It’s been him for a while now. Jackson has only been my excuse to allow acting on the attraction I’ve felt for him since that night in the club. I’ve wanted Trip for so long. All those nights lying awake in my room at night I spent dreaming of him should’ve told me that. If I really loved Jackson, I wouldn’t have been giving Trip a second thought.

I pull back and stare into his green eyes. “Trip...” I say his name almost like a whisper. “I ...” I pause. I can’t just come out and tell him I think I have feelings for him. What if this has all been just a big game for him. I can’t chance it. I don’t want my heart crushed.

Trip grabs my face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs against my cheeks. “You what, Holly? Tell me. I need to hear you say it.”

I hesitate. “What do you want me to say?”

He swallows hard and pulls our faces close enough for me to feel his breath on my lips. “If you feel something for me, tell me now. Please, tell me because I can’t stop thinking about you and I don’t know what to do about it.”

I close my eyes and touch my forehead to his. “This is so complicated.”

“It doesn’t have to be. Just say the words. Tell me you don’t want to be with Jackson, that you really want me. I don’t think I can stand by and watch him touch you one more goddamn day. You belong with me.”

How can I not tell him I feel the same way after he’s laid out his feelings so clearly. I open my eyes to meet his gaze. I grab the hem of his shirt and tug him closer to me. “It’s you that I want. Not Jackson.”

That’s all it takes for Trip to crush his lip to mine. This kiss is different. It’s more intense, and I can tell where this one is leading, there’s no going back.

Trip’s hand roams under my dress and his fingers find the wet spot on my underwear. “You don’t know how fucking sexy that is and how badly I want a taste.”

My toes try to curl inside my stilettos and my body is too turned on to worry about being shy now. “Then what’s stopping you?”

A devilish smile creeps onto his face. “I love a bossy woman.” He kisses my lips. “Lift your ass up.”

I raise my hips as he ordered and he shoves my dress up around my waist before ripping my panties. I hiss as he pulls the fabric from my body. He’s taking what he wants and not apologizing for it. There’s nothing sexier than that.

Trip tugs the straps of my dress over my shoulders and then pulls the top of my dress down. The warmth of his hands is amazing as he kneads my breasts on the outside of my bra. The index and middle fingers of his right hand slip inside and push my bra down, revealing my puckered pink nipple. After he does the same thing to the other side he kisses a trail down my throat before heading further south and sucking on my nipple. I allow my head to fall back and I sigh as I run my fingers through his hair.

He drops to his knees and grabs my ass, yanking my pussy closer to his mouth. “The first time I fuck you, it’s going to be fast. I won’t last once I slip inside you. I’ve wanted this too damn long. There’s no way I can hold back. But the second time I’m going to go slow, so I can savor every inch of that beautiful body of yours.”

He doesn’t give me any time to debate him on the issue. The heat of his tongue against my throbbing clit is almost more than I can handle. After a few flicks, my legs resting over his shoulders begin to shake. I grab his hair as a tingle erupts and then spreads completely over my body.

“Oh, God,” I moan as my body erupts in complete euphoria.

Trip stands and kisses my lips, allowing me to taste myself on him. “Watching you come is even hotter than I imagined. I can’t wait to bury myself inside you.”

He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a condom before unzipping his pants. I lean up and shove his jeans and boxers down around his ass. His large cock springs free and I wrap my hand around it and begin to playfully stroke him while he opens the wrapper.

He hands me the rubber. “Put it on me.”

I take the slippery condom from him and pinch the tip as I roll it down his shaft to the base. Trip’s hooded eyes rake over my body as I lean back on my elbows and open my legs for him. I’m so turned on by the look on his face. It’s as if he can’t take his eyes off me.

Trip leans down and kisses my lips. “You don’t know how much I’ve thought about you just like this. I promised myself I wouldn’t fuck you, but damn it, I can’t help myself. I’m a selfish bastard and I can’t make myself not want you.”

I melt into him and wrap my legs around his waist before attacking his lips. “I want you too—ever since that night in the club.”

He groans as he penetrates me with the head of his cock. “So fucking tight. If I didn’t know better, I would think you’re a virgin.”

“Don’t be gentle,” I whisper, wanting to feel him moving inside me.

Trip pushes his entire length in and then pulls it back out so he can do it again. “You feel so fucking good. I don’t want this to end.”

“It doesn’t have to,” I say.

“Promise?” He asks, staring into my eyes.

I nod and he picks up the pace, pumping into me faster and harder. After a few minutes sweat slicks his skin, and I run my hands up and down his back as his balls slap against me.

I stare up at his face and watch him bite his lip, like he’s trying to make this last as long as he can while he gazes at me. The idea of him enjoying the way I feel causes another orgasm to rip through me.

“Trip!” I cry out his name and his movements become more ridged and intense.

“Ah, fuck. Yeah.” He follows my release with his own and collapses on top of me, peppering my face with soft kisses. “You are so fucking amazing.”

I giggle beneath him and play with the wild strands of hair poking out from his head. “I have to say that was a first for me.”

Trip raises his head and looks me in the eye. “What was?”

I shrug. “An orgasm.”

His eyes widen. “You’ve never had one before?”

“Oh, I have, just never with someone else involved.” A blush creeps over my cheeks as I admit that out loud.

“Really?” He lifts an eyebrow and grins. “Get ready, sweetness. There’s a whole lot more where that came from. I’m the self-proclaimed Orgasm King.”

I laugh. “By yourself doesn’t count.”

He shifts his hips and slides his still erect shaft back and forth inside me. “You know it’s true. I just gave you two in less than fifteen minutes.”

“Mmm...maybe you better show me again so I can see if you warrant that title,” I tease.

“It’ll be your pleasure.” He smirks as he goes to work kissing on my neck.

TRIP

Holly leans back against my chest and I wrap my arms around her before kissing the top of her head. It’s been a long time since I’ve cuddled like this after sex. Normally I stick to fucking in a neutral space so I can easily escape without all the expected sappy time after the fun. But this time is different. I want to be here with Holly. In fact, just like I was afraid of, now that I’ve gotten a real taste of her sweetness, I’m fucking addicted.

She traces light circles on my forearm with the tips of her fingers. “What are you thinking about?”

I sigh. “About how I’ll never be able to leave this place now.”

“Oh?” I hear the curiosity in her voice. “Why’s that?”

“Because of you,” I answer truthfully. “You’re a pretty amazing woman.”

She turns in my arms and throws her legs over one of mine while we sit on the shop’s counter. “I’ll never be able to look at this counter again. Every time I see it, I’ll think of you...us...and tonight.”

“Who says it has to be just tonight?” I ask with optimism. “I’d be willing to stick around a little longer.”

She turns her gaze up to mine. “Don’t you have bands to manage? Won’t they miss you?”

I shrug. “They’re kind of on break right now. Besides, maybe if you and I work out, you’d come on the road with me for a while, after we get this business back on the right track.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t know, Trip. Being around famous people just isn’t my thing. I’m just not into the whole drug and party scene—not to mention what jackasses they are. Look at Jackson for crying out loud. He’s just gotten a little taste of fame and he’s so full of himself he can barely see straight.”

My heart sinks. “Not all famous people are like that, and for the record, I’m almost positive Jackson’s always been a douchebag.”

“You’re right. I don’t know how I missed it all these years. I guess now I understand why my dad won’t listen to reason about my mom. He still loves her after everything she’s done to him—us—and lets her walk all over him. I never understood why he did that, but I guess I’ve been sort of doing the same thing with Jackson. He’s never really treated me very well.”

“I’m glad you got away from him, and who knows, maybe your dad will wise up one day too.”

“I don’t think he will. He’s still giving her money, which is a bad thing considering she’s a drug addict.”

“Bill told me about her,” I say, not wanting to pretend that I don’t already know Bill and Grace’s history.

“What did he say?” she whispers.

My stomach ties in a knot as I think about Bill trusting me with his HIV secret, and making me promise not to tell Holly or he’ll expose my identity to her, which would be bad. She just sat here and said she hates people like me. I need more time to prove to her I’m a decent guy. I like having her around, and I want to keep it that way.

She’s still waiting on me to answer her, so I say, “Not much, just that the two of you no longer get along and he talked a little about why that was.”

“I can hardly look at her. She doesn’t even look like my mom anymore. Every time she comes around, I’m reminded of how she chose drugs over us, and despite everything my dad is always willing to help her. I just don’t understand. I’m so scared I’ll be like her someday. That’s why I went away to college and was studying psychology. I guess I was hoping if I understood why addicts do the things they do, I would be able to stop that from happening to me.”

I tip her chin with my finger, making her look up at me. “You won’t be like her. You’re too smart for that.”

Holly gives me a sad smile. “I hope you’re right.”

“I know I am.” I kiss her lips.

She bats away a tear from her eye. “I’m sorry I’m crying. I know that’s a guy’s worst nightmare after sex.”

I wipe another tear from her beautiful face. “Holding you in my arms is far from a nightmare, Holly. I’m glad you’re opening up to me. It means you trust me.”

“I do trust you. I know I gave you a hard time when you first got here, but that’s only because I love this track and I didn’t think someone who looked like you could care about this place the way I do. You’ve proved me wrong since you’ve been here, putting all the work into getting to know everything about the place and us. I never did thank you for convincing your friend to go into business with Dad. That was really amazing, so...thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I smile.

“I still don’t know much about you though. Tell me something about yourself—something personal.”

I clear my throat. If I want to be with this girl she might as well know the darkest details about me. “I was married once.”

She instantly stiffens in my arms. “Ma—married? When?”

“I was nineteen, and stupid. It didn’t end well.”

“What happened?” Holly asks as she sits up straighter in my arms.

I pinch a strand of her blonde hair between my fingers and twirl it as I gather my thoughts. “The typical thing that happens to most marriages involving young people—she found someone else, but neglected to tell me about it until I caught them together.”

She gasps. “That’s terrible! You found them in bed together?”

“No. I used to play in a band, and when we took a quick break, I found Jessica, my wife at the time, practically fucking some dude in the corner of the bar. I didn’t think Jessica was a willing participant, so I reacted like any other man protecting his wife would. I grabbed the guy and nearly beat him to death, thinking he was forcing himself on her...only he wasn’t. She had been seeing the guy behind my back for as long as we had been married.” I take a breath. “I ended up going to jail for assault that night. They both pressed charges against me. She told the cops I hit her that night too, but I didn’t. I have a fucked up criminal record now because of her.”

Holly looks up at me. “Trip, that’s...I don’t know what I can say other than I’m sorry that you had to go through that.”

I give her a sad smile. “It was a long time ago. I learned how to deal and move on from it.”

“Is that why you’re the way you are?” she questions softly.

“What do you mean?”

She sighs. “The first night I met you at the bar, you went from me straight into the arms of another woman. Then when you came here and kept coming onto me the way you did, and how you seemed like the type that never took anything seriously, I figured you only wanted to have sex with me. I labeled you as a player without ever knowing you because I never dreamed you had this other side to you.”

“A non-player side, you mean?” I tease.

“That, and how smart you really are.” She taps the binder lying on the counter top. “In the couple weeks you’ve been here, you’ve organized this place and helped point out all the spots where Dad was losing money. I can see you believe in this place, and want to help it succeed. That made me change my mind about you, and I even found myself thinking about you more and more often.”

I smile. “Are you trying to say that you are falling for me, Holly?”

She laughs. “I don’t know what I’m saying, but I do know that when you first came here I would’ve never pictured myself in this moment—wrapped in your arms after having the best sex of my life.”

To hear her say some of the same things I’m thinking right now is crazy. “I know exactly what you mean. Ever since Jessica, I’ve kept my emotions on lock-down. I’ve never spent much time with a woman until you. Normally I just...” I freeze trying to refrain from sounding like a complete asshole.

“Normally you just have sex and then get rid of them?” She fills in the blanks.

“Yeah...that makes me sound like a shallow fuck,” I admit.

She nods. “It does, but given what you’ve been through with your ex-wife, I understand why you’re like that. I don’t know what makes me so different, though.”

“In the bar when I first kissed you, I’ll admit I had every intention of sleeping with you and then walking away. I know that’s harsh, but it’s the truth. I saw you and I wanted you. I didn’t even care if Max was with you or not. I planned on stealing you away from him, taking you to my hotel and having my way with you. But Max threw a wrench in that plan with he dragged you away. I stood there for a second, debating whether to chase you down...”

“But?” she prods.

“Another chick threw herself willingly into my arms and latched her lips on mine, so I took the easy way out. I figured Max was your jealous boyfriend and if I went after you there would be a fight. As much as you probably don’t believe it, I try to avoid those at all costs. I, more than anyone, know how quickly a simple fight can escalate to the point where the law gets involved.”

“Is that why you didn’t hit Jackson back the other day?”

My nose tingles at the thought of Jackson sucker punching me. If things were different, I would’ve beat that little shit into the ground. “It is. When I was a kid, I fought all the time. I fought with my brother, other kids at school, whoever. All it took was someone to look at me wrong and I would go after them without a second thought. Spending time in jail, and then living on probation for a year, really opened my eyes and I realized that sometimes it’s better to just walk away.”

Holly shoves her hair back from her face. “She really screwed you up, didn’t she?”

I sigh. “She did, but I try to focus on the positive side of things. If I hadn’t gone through all the things I have in my life, I wouldn’t be here, right now, with you. This”—I squeeze her in my arms—“is amazing. You’re amazing. I can’t explain why, but I’m happy being with you.”

She snuggles into my chest. “Me too. All this time, I thought Jackson was who I wanted, but tonight, it’s like I saw his true colors. He’s not who I thought he was, but more importantly, lately he’s not the man that’s been on my mind all the time either.”

I rest my chin on her head as I think about just how she’s been on my mind too. “You’ve been thinking about me? Why didn’t you say anything? Since that day on the couch, all I’ve done is dream about you. I didn’t say anything to you, because you never mentioned it. You barely looked at me after that. I figured you regretted it and were doing your best to forget, which hurt.”

She pulls away so she can face me. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I felt confused and I had to take a step back from you. I’m not the kind of girl that sleeps around and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that with you yet. I felt a connection with you, and I’m pretty sure you felt it too, but part of me was still in love with Jackson. I had to sort out everything I was feeling for both of you.”

I tuck a strand behind her ear. “I guess I can understand that. You were with Jackson a long time. Are you sure things are really over between the two of you? I need to know now because when I fall in love, I fall hard. I don’t want you to give me yourself now, but then decide you still love him.”

I swallow as I wait on her answer, knowing exactly how dangerous it is to open up my heart to someone again. Something I swore to myself I’d never do again.

Holly touches my face with her fingers. “It’s hard to say this, but I’m over Jackson. I know now what we had wasn’t love. I mean, real love wouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself, or hurt you all the time, right? I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m still searching for the right guy.”

I bite the corner of my lower lip. “And you think that’s me?”

She shrugs. “I have no idea. I just want someone’s unconditional love—something that’s true.”

I thread my fingers through hers. “Everyone wants that.”

I don’t believe I’ve ever said a more true statement in my life. I had always been a hopeless romantic until Jessica crushed the idea of love for me. Opening myself up to someone isn’t something I believed would ever happen again—that is until Holly. There’s something about her that feels like home and is safe, and she makes me want to love someone again. Being with her is changing me.

Chapter 11

Radioactive

Holly

Trip tugs his cell phone out of his pocket and glances down at it. “It’s getting late. We should probably go in.”

I swing my legs off his lap and place my feet on the floor while grabbing his hand. “Come on. We can go to my room.”

A wicked grin spreads across his face. “Again? You’re going to kill me on our first night together. You really were deprived.”

I giggle and lead him towards the door, walking backwards in front of him. “I really was. Looks like we’re just going to have to keep at it until this craving goes away.”

He shakes his head and grabs me around the waist, pulling me against his body. “I don’t think it’s ever going to go away for me. I’m addicted. You’re stuck with me.”

I smile and grab a hold of his shirt. “I think I’m starting to like the sound of that.”

“You do, huh?” He kisses my lips. “Me too.”

I nod and start to open my mouth to tell him exactly how much I’m starting to like the idea of being with him when headlights shine through the windows. “Who is here this late?” I turn around and squint, trying to make out the make of the car that pulled up next to my house. When I recognize the car, my brow scrunches. “What in the world is Max doing here so late?”

“It’s after one in the morning. Does he make a habit of showing up in the middle of the night?” Trip asks as I lead him through the door.

I shake my head. “No. Never. Something must be wrong.”

My heart thuds in my chest as we get closer to the car and Max hasn’t attempted to get out. The engine still runs as I approach the driver’s side and peer into the window. Max is slumped over the steering wheel with his head resting on his arms.

I tap on the glass. “Max? Are you all right?” He doesn’t respond immediately, so I knock on the glass. “Max? Answer me. You’re starting to scare me.”

This time Max slowly pulls his head up and turns in my direction. I gasp and clutch my throat as Trip yanks the door open. “Jesus!”

Max’s face is swollen and covered in blood. There’s not a single inch of his face untouched. “Max? Oh my God. What happened? Are you okay? We should take you to the hospital.”

A million things rush through my mind while I wait on his answer. He obviously didn’t wreck his car, so something else horrible has happened to him.

Trip reaches in the car and shuts off the engine. “Can you walk? I think we should take you to the hospital, Max. You look like hell.”

“No,” Max rasps. “If I go to the hospital, they’ll want me to press charges.”

Trip leans in and wraps Max’s arm around his shoulders, helping him stand. “Who in the hell did this to you?”

Max’s bloodshot eyes cut to me. “Jackson.”

My mouth drops open and my hand rushes to cover it. “Jackson did this to you? Why?”

Max doesn’t answer me as Trip helps him inside the house. Trip deposits Max gently on the couch while my head continues to spin. Why would Jackson do this to my best friend? I thought he liked Max. They always seemed to get a long so well. Did he do this because he was angry at me?

Anger builds inside of me and I fight the urge to jump in my car and find Jackson myself. This isn’t right. He needs to be punished for what he’s done to Max. No one should be allowed to get away with something like this.

“Holly, can you get some towels and something to clean him up with? We need to know how bad this is. If he needs stitches, we have to take him to the hospital whether he likes it or not.”

Max sighs through his fat lip. “No hospitals.”

Trip shakes his head. “No promises, buddy.”

I run upstairs and grab some towels and then head back to the kitchen. The first aid kit under the sink is dusty. The last time we had to use this was when Grace showed up here stoned out of her mind with cuts all over her body. Dad freaked out and went to work, cleansing and covering all her wounds, yelling at her for coming around here like that. It was one of the only times I can clearly remember him raising his voice to her. For some reason, her showing up here bleeding all over the place pissed him off far more than when she shows up in her regular state, begging for drug money.

I wipe the dust off and carry the box into the living room where Trip is sitting on the coffee table across from Max. “You should tell her.”

I hand Trip the towels and the box. “Tell me what?”

Max shakes his head. “Nothing.”

Trip narrows his eyes at Max. “Don’t act like this isn’t a big deal. Either you tell her, or I will.”

Fear creeps down my spine as I sit down next to Max. The fact that Trip knows something about my best friend that I don’t can’t be good. I take Max’s hand and cradle it in my lap. “What is it? I thought we told each other everything?”

Tears fill his eyes and when he blinks they stream down his face. “Not this. I never wanted you to know this.”

My vision begins to blur with tears of my own and I take a ragged breath. “Please, Max. Tell me. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Max bursts into full-blown sobs and I instinctively wrap my arms around him and pull him into a hug. I glance over at Trip. His face is marred with concern. I stroke the back of Max’s head and mouth to Trip, “Tell me.”

Trip takes a deep breath and says, “This has been going on for a while. Jackson apparently saw fit to use Max here as a punching bag whenever he felt the need.”

My eyes widen. “For how long? And why am I just now finding out about this?”

Max pulls back and wipes his tender face gently. “I didn’t want to lose you, Holl. I knew you thought Jackson was some great guy and I couldn’t risk telling you that he liked to beat me up on a regular basis. I didn’t want to lose your friendship. You’re my only friend. It would’ve killed me if you took his side over mine and never spoke to me again.”

My heart cracks and I fight back my emotions to keep from bursting into a million tears. I’m such a terrible friend. If this is my chance to attempt to make this situation right, then I’ve got to take it.

“So you allowed him to continue to do this to you right under my nose and not say anything? Max, I would’ve dumped his ass and encouraged you to go to the police about all this,” I tell him firmly. “Please don’t ever be afraid to tell me the truth about something. I love you. You’re my best friend.”

“You say that now, but if I were to tell you about this a year ago when it started, would you have been so willing? He had you snowballed for so long. It was scary how much control he had over you.”

I take one of the towels from off the table and open the first aid kit to pull out some peroxide. I soak the corner of the towel and go to work on cleaning Max’s face. As much as I hate to admit it, Max is right. It’s hard for me to believe this is real when I have the blatant proof right in front of my eyes. I can’t imagine how difficult it would’ve been for me to fathom my sweet, loving boyfriend being such a monster. But there’s no point in admitting that. It won’t help anyone to worry about anything other than the here and now.

Max winces as I clean his split lip. “I’m sorry this happened to you. It wasn’t because of me, was it?”

He frowns. “When you called and told Trip that Jackson just left you stranded, something snapped in me. I had to confront him, so I set out to find him and tell him what a piece of shit I think he is. He can treat me like shit all he wants, but not you, Holl. You don’t deserve that.”

A tear falls down my cheek and I shake my head. “Neither do you. We should go to the police. We can’t let him get away with this.”

“I don’t want people to know. I’m ashamed I allowed him to bully me for such a long time. Plus, if I go, I’ll have to give the details. Everyone—my parents—will know that I’m...”

I pat Max’s leg. “I’ll be right by your side. You won’t be alone. No one is going to love you any less when they find out you’re gay.”

“And I’ll go with you,” Trip adds beside me. “You shouldn’t let this get swept under the rug, man. It’s time to fight back and stop being that asshole’s punching bag.”

I finish wiping up Max’s face and he leans his head back and closes his eyes. He’s struggling. I know more than anyone how hard coming out to the world will be for him. Turning Jackson in for what he’s done will get not only everyone in this town involved, but the press too. A star motocross rider assaulting a gay man will make headlines for sure. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for him.

Max takes a deep breath and then opens his eyes. “I guess it’s time I stop hiding who I really am.”

I grab his hand and squeeze it. “You’re making the right choice. Let’s go.”

––––––––

TRIP

Inside the police station, Officer Jones stares me down for a long moment before turning his attention back to Max. It’s the tattoos that make them all nervous. The artwork on both my arms tends to have that affect on some people. I stand behind Max while he works on filing a police report and applies for a restraining order against Jackson. Holly is right by his side, just like she promised.

“So tell me, Mr. Moore, where did the assault take place?” the heavy-set officer asks Max.

Max runs his hand through his brown hair. “It occurred on the street outside of Jackson Cruze’s house.”

The cop twists his lip, making his mustache crooked. “You said you drove yourself away from the scene. What were your intentions when going to Mr. Cruze’s residence?”

Max shuffles his feet. “They were to tell him off, I guess.”

The office nods and writes a couple notes down. “So you went over there with a preconceived plan to start trouble with your assailant?”

Max shakes his head. “No, I didn’t. He hurt my best friend and put her in danger. I had to confront him about that. He couldn’t just keep getting away with hurting her.”

“Is this young lady whom you’re referring to?”

“Yes.”

He eyes Holly and returns his gaze back to Max. “Was she involved with Mr. Cruze?”

“Yes, but I don’t see what that has to do with this,” Max replies.

The officer sighs and sets his paper down. “This appears to be a domestic dispute over this girl. My advice to you, son, is to not get involved in other people’s business—even if you are interested in pursuing the lady yourself.”

Holly shakes her head. “It isn’t like that, officer. Max and I are best friends. There’s nothing going on between us.”

The cop chuckles to himself. “You might want to let Mr. Moore know that—looks like he took quite the beating defending your honor.”

Holly folds her arms across her chest. “I’m glad you think that someone like Jackson beating up my gay best friend is amusing. I’m sure the media would love to know about the cop that didn’t take the matter seriously, especially since Jackson is sort of a celebrity.”

I grin as I listen to my girl give the cop what for. I love that she’s feisty enough to stand up for herself. Of course I’ll step in anytime she needs me, but she’s doing a pretty damn good job of handling the situation herself.

The chunky cop clears his throat. “Just hold on, Miss. I never once implied this wasn’t a serious matter.”

“But you did when you were insinuating that we were just a bunch of young people caught up in a silly love triangle, which I promise you isn’t the case. Jackson Cruze is an arrogant jackass who believes he can get away with anything. He’s been picking on my friend for some time now, and it has to end. I had to practically drag Max down here. Look at his face. He got the crap kicked out of him and he was afraid to come to you people for help because he didn’t want to be judged. We get him here, and not only do you judge who he is and what he stands for, but you don’t take him seriously. You were about to blow him off, weren’t you?”

Officer Jones holds up his hands, attempting to calm Holly down. “I’m sorry if I came across that way. Believe me, this is a serious matter and we’ll get right on this. I promise you. We take hate crimes very seriously.”

“Good,” she replies. “Now let’s get back to allowing my friend to press charges against Jackson. He needs to know he’s not above the law.”

I remain silent the entire time. It’s good to know I have a woman who can defend herself. She’ll need to be tough, especially when it comes to dealing with our crazy fans. Those women go a little batty sometimes. Both Lanie and Aubrey both have had their fair share of run-ins with them and it wasn’t pretty, so I’m sure Holly will face that too.

Once everything is completed, we make our way out to the parking lot. Holly turns to Max and wraps her arms around him. “I’m so proud of you.”

He squeezes her against him. “It felt good to do that, like a weight has been lifted off me. Thank you for encouraging me.”

“You’re welcome,” she says as she pulls back. “Go home and get some rest. It’s nearly dawn, so you’ll have to explain everything to your parents soon.”

Max nods. “It’s time they knew the real me.” His gaze cuts to me. “Thank you, Trip.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Me? I didn’t do anything.”

“Yes, you did. You came into my best friend’s life and changed us both.” He smiles and then winces and touches his tongue to his split lip. “See you guys later.”

I shove my hands in my pockets and grin as I watch Max walk to his car, get in and drive away. It’s nice to hear that I’ve had just as much of an effect on them as they have on me. I like being here, and I love being with Holly. I can’t even explain how she’s doing it, but she’s opening me up to a world of possibility again. Where it’s okay to open my heart and feel something for people, without the fear that they’ll betray and crush my trust.

Holly slips her arm around my waist and leans her head against my shoulder. “He’s right, you know.”

I throw my arm around her shoulder and stare down at her. “About what?”

She grins. “About you changing me, showing me how a really great guy is supposed to treat me.”

I stare into her big blue eyes. “I’d never treat you wrong.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” she whispers before kissing my lips. “I love how you’re honest and straight forward with me. Apparently Jackson is a sneaky coward. I don’t know how I never saw it before. I’m pretty disappointed in myself.”

I tip her chin up so I can stare into her eyes more. “It’s easy to allow love to cloud rational thought. I’m guilty of the same thing. If I would’ve allowed my brain to process what was actually going on in front of me, I would’ve known my ex-wife didn’t really love me. So don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.”

She sighs. “It doesn’t make me feel any less guilty for what happened to Max.”

“Max should’ve told you sooner and stood up for himself. You can’t blame yourself for that. I’m just glad he did come forward and something is going to be done now.”

“Me too.” She grabs my hand and tugs me towards the Mustang. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

I grin, loving the sound of going home with her, and allow her to lead the way.

Holly doesn’t let go of my hand. The entire ride home we shifted the gears together and then she pulls me behind her into the house and then up to her room. She opens her bedroom door and then bites her lip as she tugs my hand to come inside.

Her room is exactly what I expected. It’s tidy and orderly, just like her. All of her clothes are put away and her bed is covered with a cream colored comforter. She sits on her bed and pulls me down with her. The look in her eyes tells me she didn’t bring me in here to talk. It’s the same naughty glint I saw back in the restaurant when I knew she wanted me.

I reach out and cup her face, kissing her sweet lips. If I had to imagine what heaven would be like, this would be it.

She shoves her hands in my hair, keeping my mouth on hers as we fall back onto the bed together. I snake my hand around her waist and roll, effectively placing her on top of me. Holly straddles my waist, and the erection in my pants stiffens even more. It’s like it knows what’s about to happen and it’s just as anxious as I am to get inside her again.

This time, I’m going take my time with her and make sure she knows she’s special to me.

I sit up so we’re face to face, and dip two fingers inside of her dress and slide it off her shoulder, trailing kisses on her bare skin as I go. She sighs as my tongue darts out and I taste the flesh above her collar bone.

“Trip...”she says my name with a sigh as I mirror the moves on the other side.

The metal zipper on the side of her dress is warm between my fingers as I tug it open. Last time I was too impatient and didn’t undress her completely, but I’m about to remove every scrap she has on this round. I shove the dress down around her hips before gliding my hand up the middle of her back and into her hair so I can pull her down into another kiss while my free hand unhooks her bra.

The silky-white material loosens around her as I remove those straps as well. Her full breasts fill the cups of her bra as I trace the outside edges, teasing her a bit before I finally pull it away. I dip my head and suck on one of her perfectly puckered pink nipples.

Holly bites her bottom lip as I stare up at her and lick a trail from one nipple to the other. Her breathing picks up as she brings her hand down to my cheek, to tip it up so she can kiss me. I turn my head into her hand and kiss her wrist. The delectable scent of her sweet perfume fills my nose. I close my eyes and relish in this moment with her. Before her, I thought I forgot how to love. I thought I was fucking broken, but she’s showing me everyday that it’s possible for me to love someone again. Every moment I spend with her, I grow a little more attached, and I feel compelled to do anything for her.

Now I remember what it was like when someone else was my entire world and can empathize with what Noel and Riff are going through.

“Is something wrong?” she whispers, staring into my eyes.

I shake my head and give her a reassuring smile. “No. Everything is absolutely perfect.”

She grins. “I think so too.”

I pepper her face with kisses, elated to hear that she’s feeling the same way I am. She begins to rock her weight against me, riding me through my jeans and her panties. Long strands of hair frame her face as she shoves my shirt up and then pulls it over my head. She tucks her hair behind her ear as she licks her way down my chest, stopping at my nipple to suck it in her mouth. The way she’s looking up at me makes my mouth water. No one should be allowed to appear so angelic. It’s not fucking fair to the rest of the world.

I cup her face and crush my lips to hers before plunging my tongue in her mouth. A sweet moan vibrates against my mouth as I feel how much I’m turning her on.

I tip her back, laying her on the bed, while I get on my knees in front of her. Both of my hands slide slowly up her creamy thighs before they find their way under her dress.

I give her my most wicked grin as I feel the bare skin beneath my finger tips. “I forgot I ripped your panties off before. Good thing I didn’t remember that at the police station. I wouldn’t have been able to keep my hands off you and concentrate.”

She giggles. “Yeah. I stuffed them into my purse.”

I eye the handbag sitting on the nightstand. “Maybe I need to keep that as a souvenir of the first orgasm I ever gave you.”

She tilts her head. “Why do you need a memento? Are you planning on leaving me?”

I shake my head. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetness. Ever.”

She grins and kisses me again. “Good.”

My dick strains against my jeans, begging to be buried deep in her pussy.

When she tosses her head back, I drag my lips down her neck. “God, Trip. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”

The sound of her needing me, asking me to take her is almost more than I can bear. I yank on her dress, tearing it a bit as I pull it over her head. I stare down at her completely bare and laid out before me. I’ve never seen a more beautiful creature in my entire life. A tug in my chest I haven’t felt in my heart in a long time. I know it hasn’t been that long, but there’s just something about her that fits perfectly with me.

Holly sits up and unbuttons my jeans. I grab a condom from my back pocket and toss it onto the bed before I help her shove my jeans and boxers off my body. We both stare at each other, sitting there together completely naked. Her breathing is just as fast as mine as I reach for her.

I ease her back on the bed and then lay down beside her. I guide my hand down between her legs, before pressing a couple fingers against her swollen clit. “You’re so fucking wet. I love how fucking excited you get when I touch you.”

Holly’s body writhes as I continue to circle her sweet spot.

“Oh, God,” she pants. The sultry tone in her voice causes my cock to jerk.

“Are you going to come for me, baby?” I ask against her skin. “You’re so fucking sexy when you come.”

She whimpers and grabs my wrist as she comes hard against my hand. “Oh, ah...Trip.”

“That’s it, baby. Let go with me,” I tell her.

I knead her tits as she returns from euphoria. I roll her taut nipple with my index finger and thumb. Watching her fall apart from the things I do to her body, causes an intense rush throughout my body, making it hard to hold back any longer from taking her very difficult. I love the fact that I’m the only man that’s ever made her feel that good.

I grab her face and kiss her hungrily, eager to make her come again. An intense need flows through me to claim this girl. I always want this woman to be mine.

I suck a quick breath when Holly touches my face and says, “I want you inside me.”

I shake my head. “There’s one more thing I want to give you first.”

Before she can say anything else, I begin kissing a trail down her stomach. I nudge her thighs open and then go straight to work on her still swollen clit. I flick my tongue against it and lapping up the sweet juices of her arousal. I penetrate her core with two fingers and I feel her greedy pussy clench around them.

Holly’s body twists, and she shoves her pussy against my mouth and she pants my name while she comes for the second time.

I kiss the inside of her thigh. “I believe that’s what? Number four for the night, and we’re not done yet.”

She giggles. “You’re serious about that Orgasm King thing, aren’t you?”

I grab the condom from the bed and open the package. “I take my duties as ruler very seriously.”

She laughs for a second before she glances down to watch me roll on the rubber. The amused expression on her face turns serious as hunger builds up again in her eyes. This girl is insatiable—I fucking love it.

I grab her legs and yank her to me, so I can slide my cock between her wet folds. After it’s coated in her juices, I guide my cock into her. The intense pleasure of it causes me to close my eyes. “Damn. This is fucking heaven.”

I shove into her all the way to the base and then pull back out. She searches out my lips again as I begin pumping into her. “Trip...”

She doesn’t have to say another word for me to know exactly what she’s feeling, because I feel it to—this crazy connection that we have.

My fingers dig into her hips as a warm tingle spreads over my entire body. I close my eyes, willing myself to make this last longer, but I can’t. Being inside her feels too fucking good.

“Fuck. Oh, God. I’m coming, baby.” Edging into oblivion, my moves become ridged. The quickened pace causes Holly to dig her nails into my back as she falls with me over the edge. “So fucking sexy...shit.”

I growl as I let go and release, swearing that God himself just showed me heaven.

A tremor shakes my entire body as I try to settle down. I prop myself up with my elbows and lean my forehead against hers as I try to catch my breath. “You’re fucking amazing.”

There’s no way life gets any sweeter than this.

Chapter 12

Kiss Quick Holly We lie in my bed wrapped in each other’s arms. The sun rising brightens up my room and I study the intricate tattoos on Trip’s left shoulder and arm. I trace my finger over the patterns and read the words Music is Life on his forearm. I’ve seen it on his arms many times, but I guess I didn’t understand how much he was into music until last night when he told me he used to be in a band.

I run my finger over the words. “I like this one.”

Trip rotates his wrist to check which one I was referring to. “Me too. It’s true. Music is in my blood. I love it. I don’t think I could ever fully give it up.”

I prop myself up on an elbow. “I love that you are so passionate. Why did you stop playing?”

He pauses for a long moment, like he’s searching for an answer. “I still play actually.”

“I’d love to hear you play sometime.”

He grins. “I’d like that.”

My eyes wander up his arm to the words Black Falcon written on his shoulder. I touch his skin where the inked words appear. “Isn’t this a band’s name?”

Trip’s eyes widen and his body stiffens. “Yes.”

I tilt my head. It seems kind of childish to get something like that permanently tattooed into his skin, but I’ve heard of people doing crazier things before. I guess if you love something enough to put on your body forever, it’s a good way to always remember being passionate about something. I don’t want him to think I’m judging him for that. I can see how nervous he is just by me bringing it up. “I didn’t know you were such a huge fan.”

He relaxes and smiles. “Yeah. I’m a big fan. Do you like them?”

I shrug. “I’ve only really heard that song you were signing in the office.”

“Ball Busting Bitch?”

I laugh at how ridiculous the name of it is. “That’s the one. The radio played that one out.”

He laughs too. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Other than that, I’ve never really listened to any of their music,” I admit.

“They’re an okay band.”

Talking about music and bands makes me wonder about his regular job. “I never did ask what band you worked for.”

He bites his lip and tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. “Believe it or not, I actually work for Black Falcon.”

My mouth drops open and sit up quickly, pulling the sheet up to cover my bare chest. “Are you serious?”

He tucks his arm behind his head. “Yep. Why are you so excited all of the sudden? I thought you weren’t a fan.”

“I’m not.” The possibilities of somehow using the bands fame to help promote the track rushes through my brain. “Are you good friends with the guys in the band?”

Trip smirks. “I guess you could say that.”

“This is perfect! I know how we can save the track.”

Trip raises an eyebrow. “How’s that?”

I turn towards him. “Do you think they would come and play a couple songs if we set up a race here at the track? If we had a major band perform here, we’d draw all kinds of sponsors, press and riders from all over the world. It would be exactly what this place needs.”

He bites his bottom lip, like he’s considering what I’ve asked. “Is that what you want? You don’t think the investor’s money will be enough?”

I shake my head. “Not to put the business back on top. Besides, you said the drummer of the band you work for is the investor, right? He would probably love to see this place make money, so he’d convince the other guys to come here. What do you think?”

He sighs and touches my face. “If that’s what you want, then I’ll do my best to make it happen.”

I squeal and hug him. “Thank you. This will mean so much to this place and to Dad.”

He rubs my back as I pull back and kiss his lips. The simple peck between us turns passionate as he opens his mouth and slides his tongue against mine. My hands find their way into his hair and his hand slips down my back, shoving the sheet down until he reaches my ass. His strong hands grip my ass and he pulls me on top of him.

I’m afraid I’m becoming addicted to this sexy man.

TRIP

The moment Holly leaves the room I throw my head back against the pillow.

Shit.

I’ve gotten myself into a huge fucking mess by lying to her all this time. I should’ve told her before who I was, but I was afraid she would never give me the time of day if she knew I was famous. She doesn’t like people like me—words from her own mouth.

The moment the guys all come here, or the moment she Google’s the band, it’s all over. She’ll either forgive me and we can move on, or she’ll hate me forever.

I sit up and grab my pants from the floor. I dig my cell phone out of the pocket and dial Tyke’s number. “What’s up, baby brother. You ready to come back yet? It’s boring as shit without you here.”

I roll my eyes and fight back the urge to argue with him about the age thing, but don’t because I know there’s no time. “Hey, bro. I have a favor to ask.”

Tyke sighs into the phone. “What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?”

“No trouble, but I do need something from you. Well, from all the guys.”

“Oh? Should I be afraid to even ask what that is?”

I shake my head eve though I know he can’t see me. “I need you all to come here and play a couple songs. That’s it.”

“You know the other guys aren’t going to want to leave their women right now. That’s the reason we’re on break in the first place.”

“They can bring them too. Holly and I want to set up a benefit, slash motocross competition here and we need something to draw people in.”

“And let me guess, you want to use the band to promote your new little business?”

“Yes. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, I guess. Who is this Holly person you mentioned before?”

I bite my bottom lip and wish I could kick myself in the ass. I’m just beginning to figure out my relationship with Holly. I don’t know if I’m ready to share what we are with my brother. “She’s the owner’s daughter.”

“Don’t forget to add the woman you’re sleeping with,” Tyke adds.

“It’s not like that,” I reply, my tone sharp. I hate the fact that my brother knows me almost as well as I know myself.

“Then how is it?”

I rub my face and allow my thoughts to travel to Holly. Her gorgeous smile comes to mind and denying what I feel for her to my own flesh and blood would make me a total tool, so I decide to give him the most honest answer I can. “I like her.”

“Really? That’s something I haven’t heard you say in a long time. Matter of fact not since...”

“Let’s not even bring her up,” I beg. “Holly is nothing like Jessica. To compare the two wouldn’t be fair.”

Putting someone as straightforward and sweet as Holly up against my back stabbing, slutty ex isn’t anywhere close to being even. Jessica isn’t in Holly’s league.

“That’s good to know. The band can’t handle you losing your shit right now. It’s falling apart as it is, and it won’t be able to withstand your ass getting carted off to jail over some girl you barely know.”

I shake my head. “This is exactly why I don’t tell you things. Every time I do, you always revert back to the past. I’ve grown up since then, Tyke. I’m not going to go around fighting every single asshole that looks at her three seconds too long. This track and Holly are both really important to me. I wouldn’t do something stupid to screw up what I have going here.”

“You’re right. That was a long time ago, and maybe I don’t give you enough credit for keeping your temper in check the last couple years.” He pauses for a brief moment. “I’ve seen the way you tried to help Riff and Noel when they were going through their shit. It was very mature and insightful. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. If this girl makes you happy, then I’m all for you giving it a go with her.”

I smile. “Thanks, man. So what do you say? You’ll help me convince Riff and Noel to come out here for a weekend?”

“Of course I will. If this will help you make a new start in life, then I’ll be there. You know you can always count on me, brother.”

“Thanks. I’ll owe you. I’ll call you with the date as soon as I have one,” I tell him before we say our goodbyes and end the call.

The bedroom door opens and Holly comes traipsing in wearing only a towel and a smile. My cock twitches at the sight of her, knowing how amazing it felt to be buried deep inside her last night. I can’t help that my body craves that sweet, little pussy of hers now. It’s going to be damn hard to get any real work done around here now with that distraction going on.

She smiles as she walks across the room to her closet. “See something you like?”

My eyes do a full sweep of her from head to toe. Her blonde hair still wet from her shower drips water beads down her bare back, while the towel opens on the side showing off her hip and thigh. Her beauty is unmatched by anything I’ve ever seen. “You’re perfect and you know it.”

Holly blushes and continues to sort through the rack of clothes. “Have you always been such a charmer?”

The urge to touch her skin overwhelms me. I push myself up off the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts and a smile. I stand behind her, pull her hair away from one shoulder and nuzzle my nose against her neck while grinding my erect cock against her ass. “It’s you, sweetness, who has charmed this snake.”

She tilts her head back and to the side, allowing me better access to her flesh. The scent of her floral shampoo and body wash fills my nose as I playfully nip at her neck.

She sighs as my tongue darts out to taste her. “You make me feel crazy, do you know that?”

“Is that a bad thing?” I mumble against her skin.

“It is when you’re all that I can think about,” she admits.

I spin her around in my arms and back her against the doorframe of the closet. “That makes us even then. I was just wondering how I was ever going to get any work done around here, knowing just how good you feel pressed up against me like this. All I’m going to be able to think about is being buried deep inside you again.”

She swallows and then her mouth drifts open. I can tell she gets turned on when I talk dirty to her. It’s impossible for her body to hide the way she feels. “I know exactly what you mean.”

I press my lips against hers and tug on the towel until it opens up and falls from her body. Her puckered nipples rub against my solid chest as I deepen our kiss and thread my fingers into her wet hair. I’ll never get tired of this with her. Every time I kiss her lips, all it does is drive me to possess more of this delicious taste.

My hand slides down her stomach and she whimpers as my finger finds her swollen clit. My finger glides around with ease and I suck in a quick breath. “I love how easily you get turned on for me. It makes me want to fuck you that much more.”

She groans as I glide my finger inside her. “Trip. God. Ah.”

Hearing her moan my name is enough to make me nearly come in my boxers. Sex with Holly is exciting. I love that she’s not that experienced and isn’t jaded by the experience like most of the groupies I’ve been fucking the past couple of years. Maybe that’s why each time with her feels so fucking awesome.

I work my finger in and out of her until she’s so frenzied she’s clawing at my back. I love making her body feel good. It’s almost better than when I get to come while deep inside her...almost. The only thing better than that would be to fuck her raw and feel her wrapped around my dick like she is around my finger right now. “That greedy little pussy of yours keeps milking my finger.” I kiss her lips. “Do you want me to fuck you?” My tongue darts out and I lick her top lip. “Huh?”

“Yes,” she pants.

The way she’s panting makes my cock rock-hard. I like that I’m the only man that’s ever given her an orgasm and she knows I’m about to give her another one. Her body is begging for it. Anyone else causing her to react like this would drive me crazy. The need to claim her rages through my body. I want her to be mine. I want to be the only one who ever gets this part of her.

I trail my nose against her jaw and then whisper in her ear, “Ask me to fuck you. I want to hear you say it.”

Her head falls back against the wood as I pull out and rub her clit a few times. “Oh, God.”

I bite her earlobe hard enough for her to feel a little pain. “Say it.”

“Please...”

“Please, what? Say it,” I command. “Say it and I’ll give you exactly what you need.”

“Fuck me,” she says in a breathy voice. “I want you to fuck me, Trip.”

I growl into her ear. “Good girl.”

I slide my boxers down and kick them to the side, not wanting anything else between us. My cock springs free and rubs against her bare stomach as I pull her in for a kiss. Holly grabs the back of my neck and holds me against her as I deepen the kiss. She wants this just as much as I do.

I hoist her up against the wall and she wraps her legs around my waist. He wet pussy rubs against my bare shaft and I groan.

“Fuck. I want to feel you,” I say against her mouth.

She bites her lower lip. “Have you ever...”

“Only a few times with my ex, but I’ve been tested since then and I swear I’m clean,” I promise as I kiss her neck. “Have you?”

She nods. “Only once, before I left for school, but I’ve been checked too. It was a requirement to get birth control.”

“So you’re on the pill now?”

“Yes. I started taking them right before I came home from college.”

I readjust my hips and she moans as the head of my cock slides against her clit. “I want you just like this.”

She stares into my eyes. “Then take me.”

With one swift move I push inside of her. The warmth of her surrounds me and I push in all the way to the base. I close my eyes and lean my forehead against hers. “Jesus. You feel so fucking good.”

I pull back and fill her again. This time we both whimper with pure delight, which only propels me to move more. The best place on earth is right here. I’ll never grow tired of this.

I work her pussy into a frenzy as I fuck her hard and fast against the wall. When my balls tighten, I know I won’t be able to go on much longer. It feels too damn good.

Holly digs her nails into my back. She cries out my name against my lips as she comes undone in my arms while staring deep into my eyes. Witnessing her ecstasy and knowing that I made her come pushes me towards my own release.

“Fuck, Holly. I’m going to come.” Before I have time to ask if I can come inside her or not, it’s too late. I explode, filling her full. It was probably wrong of me to do that, but I couldn’t help myself and my body wouldn’t listen to my brain to hold off. In its own twisted way, I think my body took control and marked its territory. I kiss her face all over. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s okay, Trip,” she says, effectively cutting me off with a kiss. “I wanted you to.”

I tilt my head and stare into her blue eyes. “You did?”

She nods and plays with the hair on the nape of my neck. “I didn’t want you to stop. It felt so good.”

I sigh. “I’m glad you’re not mad at me. I promise to try and be more careful next time.”

She grins while she’s still tightly wrapped around me. “Who says there will be a next time?”

I bite her bottom lip. “Because I know how much you like it. I even got you to beg.”

She smacks my shoulder, playfully. “Jerk.”

I shrug. “You know you like me that way.”

She giggles as pull out of her and set her on her feet. “Yeah...maybe I do.”

She bends over to pick up her discarded towel and I smack her naked ass. “Hurry up and get dressed. We have lots of work to do if we’re going to have a motocross competition with a special guest performance by Black Falcon here soon.”

Holly rubs her ass and stands straight up. Her wide eyes show just how excited she is about my band playing here. “Oh, my God! You got them to say yes?”

My mouth pulls into a lopsided grin. “Of course I did.”

She squeals and throws her arms around my neck. “This is fantastic. Thank you.”

I stare down at her face and seeing her so happy makes my chest feel warm. I never thought doing something for someone else would make me so happy. It’s here in this moment that I know Holly appreciates me as a person. Unlike most of the women I sleep with, she doesn’t know me as the famous rock star that has lots of money and could be her meal ticket. This girl seems to like me for me, not what I can give to her. What is a simple gesture to me—asking my friends for a favor—seems to mean the world to her. It’s then I decide once I make her see I’m a good man, despite my crazy past and celebrity status, I’m going to spoil her with a whole lot more. “You’re most welcome.”

Chapter 13

Same Old Trip

Trip

Holly and I sit at the countertop in the front office, cuddling next to each other as she jots down a list of things we’ll need for the event. We already have the basics down, like contacting sponsors and riders, but there is so much more to this business than I even knew. It’s going to take me a while to learn everything. Thank God I have Holly here to help me with everything.

She pulls a Rolodex from under the counter and begins flipping through it. “Who are you calling?”

“We need riders for the event. The bigger the names in the sport we attract, the more money major sponsors will throw our way. We’ll need prize money.”

I scratch the back of my head. “How much do you think we’ll actually need? Maybe I can get the band to donate.”

She shakes her head. “We can’t ask them to do that. They’re giving enough already just by coming here and performing.”

“I know they would contribute. It’s not like they don’t need the tax write-off, anyhow.”

Holly bites her lower lip to try and contain her smile. “That would make things so much easier.” The smile on her face turns into a frown as her line of sight trails off into the distance like she’s lost in thought. “Trying to get money off larger companies is like pulling teeth. It’s one of the main reasons Dad stopped holding events here. Once the attendance dwindled the sponsorships stopped too. There is no way the track can fund something like that on its own, and Dad doesn’t have a penny saved up because Grace always figures out a way to take it.”

It kills me to see her hurting like this. I wish there was a way to take the pain that she feels when she thinks about her mother away, but the past isn’t something we can change. God knows how many times I wish I could go back and convince myself to not marry Jessica. She put me through pure hell, and I can tell Holly’s mother has done the same to her.

What makes it worse is that I know Grace’s fault Bill is ill. Eventually, Bill’s secret will come out, and when it does Holly will hate her mother even more. Not saying that I blame her. From what I’ve gathered, Grace is a selfish woman. Holly is the complete opposite. Instead of always taking from people for her own personal gain, she gives. She quit school to help her father, and stopped riding dirt bikes because that fucker Jackson told her he didn’t like her doing it. Giving up those two things alone proves she isn’t a selfish person.

I take the pen out of her hand and lay it on the counter before threading my fingers through hers. “I think things are going to start getting better for you and Bill now.”

Her eyes search my face. “How can you be so sure?”

I open my mouth to tell her everything—to tell her I have enough money to take care of her and Bill and turn this place into a Mecca for motocross. But the fear of rejection won’t allow me to. If I tell her, and she hates me, I’m not sure I can recover.

I tuck a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. “I’m going to take care of you, Holly. Anything you want, it’s now my job to make sure you have it.”

She smiles and leans her cheek into my hand. “You shouldn’t promise me the world because when you say stuff like that, I feel like you can actually make that happen.”

“It is the truth. I’ll always find a way.”

The sound of the office door opening startles me and I pull away from Holly just as Bill shuffles in. His shoulders sag as he makes his way towards his office, before plopping down in the chair at the desk. I know he doesn’t want Holly to know just how sick he actually is, but by the looks of him, I don’t know how much longer he can keep up the pretense his fatal illness will go away.

Holly stands up and slides the stool back under the counter as she leans against the doorframe of Bill’s office. “You don’t look so good, Dad. I think it’s time you let me to take you to the hospital.”

Bill busies himself with stacking a few loose papers on his desk. “I’m fine, honey. This will pass.”

She folds her arms over her chest. “No, Dad. You’ve been saying that since I got home at the beginning of the summer. It’s time to get checked out.”

“No!” Bill yells and slams his fist onto the desk. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Holly flinches and her face twists. Bill scrubs his hands down his face and then stares up at his daughter. Things would be so much easier if he would only tell her the truth. She’ll understand—I know she will—then they can cherish the time they have left together. It’s not fair that he’s keeping something so huge from her.

“Bill...” I feel like outing him in front of her, but I quickly stop myself, knowing I’m keeping something from her too—something that her father has promised to keep secret as long as I keep his.

Bill’s gray eyes shift in my direction and I know he knows exactly what’s on my mind. “You got something to say, Trip?”

“I do, actually.” Bill’s eyes narrow at me, and I clear my throat. “Holly and I have come up with a plan to help get this place back on its feet.”

He softens his gaze and tilts his head, clearly shocked that I didn’t come out and tell Holly about his disease. “What’s that?”

Holly’s stance relaxes and she smiles and I can tell she’s trying let go of the topic of forcing Bill to the doctor. “We’re going to hold a motocross race here.”

He leans back in the chair and smoothes his thinning hair back. “How do you propose we do that? We don’t have the kind of clout needed to pull any big names here, not to mention the funding.”

“We do now.” Holly glances at me and smiles. “Trip works for a famous rock band called Black Falcon and he’s got them to agree to come here and play a couple of songs. They will draw thousands of people, Dad. Trip thinks they might even be willing to donate money, too.”

Bill chuckles and his eyes flit to me. “Is that so?”

Holly doesn’t give me a chance to address her father’s question. “Isn’t that great?”

He nods. “Yes, and as long as Trip is helping you out, I have the feeling it’s all going to turn out even better than you expect.”

Holly runs into her father’s office, no longer able to contain her excitement. She hugs him tight. “This is all going to work out, Dad. You’ll see.” She releases him and smiles. “I need to go out to the garage and see if I can dig up all the sound equipment. Do you think it’s all still out there? We haven’t used it in a while.”

“It should be, but I think it’s a good idea to get it all out and make sure it all still works since we haven’t used it in a couple years.”

“Oh. I hadn’t thought about that.” She frowns. “If it doesn’t work that’s just more money that we don’t have that we’ll have to spend.”

Bill pats her hand. “I’m sure it’ll be fine, honey.”

“Okay. I’m going. Cross your fingers,” she tells us as she turns and heads for the door.

The moment she’s gone, Bill sets his sights on me. “You know this is going to blow your cover. It will be impossible for you to play in your own band and Holly not notice.”

“She’s going to find out sooner than that.” I pick at my thumbnail. “The moment she gets on the computer to look up the band for promotional pictures it’ll be over.”

“Ah, yes—the internet. One of the beauties of modern day technology is you can find out information about anyone from the safety of your own home. Are you worried that she will no longer be interested in you once she discovers who you are?”

I sigh. “Yes. She told me herself that she would never date anyone famous.”

“But that’s before the two of you slept together.”

My eyes widen and my heart jumps into my throat. “I...uh...um...what?”

Bill rolls his eyes. “I may be sick, but I’m not deaf. We were all staying under the same roof last night...and this morning. I know what the two of you have been up to.”

Fuck. Nothing like the father of the girl you’re sleeping with calling you out, although I will say he’s rather calm about the entire situation. If some punk like me was shagging my daughter under my nose, I would kick his fucking ass. I know his laid-back demeanor has to be a front for what he’s really thinking about me.

The best thing in this situation is to try and smooth things over. “Look, Bill, I apologize for that. I meant no disrespect towards you, or Holly for that matter. I guess I lost my head and didn’t consider my surroundings. For that, I’m sorry.”

He rests his elbows on his desk and folds his arms. “I can accept that. I remember what it was like to be young once. The thing I’m worried about is your intention.”

“About what?” I question.

“I want to know what your intentions are with not only with this place, but with my daughter as well. Getting involved with her changes the dynamics of our deal a bit, don’t you think?”

“It changes a lot,” I agree. “But I still want to be in business with you, and I’m keeping my promise to pay for your medical expenses. Holly needs you in her life.”

He frowns. “I know she does. That’s my biggest fear—leaving her all alone. When I’m gone she won’t have anyone except Max, and that scares me.”

“You don’t have to worry, Bill. I’ll take care of her,” I say.

“But you barely know her.”

“I know enough to know she’s a good person. She’s loyal and selfless. If you ask me those are some damn good traits to have. To be honest with you, Bill, I’ve been looking for someone like her all my life.” It’s odd to hear my deepest, most private thoughts said out in the open.

Holly is exactly the kind of woman I’ve always wanted. I don’t believe she’d ever betray me. It’s just not her style.

Bill leans back in his chair. “I’m glad to hear you say that, because with this disease there’s no promise of tomorrow. Knowing you and Holly are together, and that you can take care of her even better than I can, takes a load off my shoulders. I have to know, do you love her?”

How can I answer that? Love? Is that even possible to know after only a few weeks time?

When I don’t answer right away, Bill says, “You don’t have to answer that, Trip. Just do me a favor and think on it. All the best financial intentions in the world won’t matter to Holly if you don’t love her. She cares for you. I see the way she looks at you. You’re the real reason she was able to finally tell Jackson goodbye and mean it. My daughter has been searching for real love ever since her mom ran out on us. She thought she’d found that in Jackson, but all that boy did was lie to her. I’m asking you to always be honest with her and don’t lead her on if you don’t see an actual future with her. There’s something that happens to people who miss out on a mother’s love. It triggers a never-ending search for unconditional love. So don’t tell her you love her unless you really mean it. Lying to her will only hurt her more.”

I swallow hard and nod. Toying with Holly’s heart isn’t something I ever want to do. It’s the main reason I fought against my desire to sleep with her in the first place. She’s the relationship kind of girl, and I knew that when I slept with her. Now I just have to figure out where she and I go from here. All I know right now is that I want to be with her. The rest I’ll have to figure out. “I understand.”

Bill smiles. “I know you do.”

HOLLY

The next week flies by. Every moment of every day is spent working on organizing the race. Trip received confirmation back that the band will play at our race the very day he called them. Trip seems very excited that Black Falcon is coming here because he went to work getting graphics made for the signage for the event. Working alongside Trip has been great. Not once has he laughed at my ideas, or tried to take over like Jackson would’ve done if he’d been the one helping me.

We haven’t slept apart since that first night we had sex. Sleeping with Trip has quickly become something I crave. Every little touch from him ignites a fire in my belly that only he can extinguish—something he is always eager to do.

I don’t know what’s come over me. I’ve been a complete horn-dog lately. Trip has a crazy effect on me. It’s like I can’t get enough of him. Even when he’s with me, I’m constantly thinking of him, which is making my job confirming all the riders for this weekend difficult.

I press end on my cell phone and grin at Trip, who looks up me from his computer screen. “Charlie Chance just confirmed. That’s one hundred and fifty riders in total for an open-class race. I think we’ve got enough bikes to have some great heats in the 125 and 250 classes.”

Trip closes his laptop. “That’s great news. One hundred and fifty is the goal, right?”

I nod. “Yes. It’s the perfect number for our small race. The next one we do can go bigger. How’s the budget looking?”

“It’s completely under control. We’ve sold enough pre-order tickets to totally fund the event. This will give the track a great boost to get back on its feet.”

“I’m excited to meet the band and thank them in person for all they’ve done,” I say.

Trip sighs. “About that...there’s something I need to tell you.”

Pain appears in the expression on his face. I’ve never seen him like this. It’s like he’s being tortured with his own thoughts. I reach for his hand, willing away the hurt in his eyes. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. We’ll work through it.”

He sucks in his lower lip. “I’m actually—”

Before Trip has time to tell me whatever he was going to say, Dad bursts through the office door. “Trip come quick! Jackson is beating the hell out of Max. I’m not strong enough to break them up. I need your help!”

I suck in a quick breath as Trip flies off his stool and toward the door. I’m right on his heels as he comes to a skidding stop on the front porch. My eyes lock on the grotesque display of human behavior before me. Max lies on the ground in a curled up ball, while Jackson towers over him, shouting slurs.

My hand covers my mouth. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Jackson did an excellent job of hiding his true colors from me. I know Max told me how Jackson treated him, but never imagined I would witness this scene.

Jackson yanks his leg back and kicks Max square in the stomach before he bends down and says, “I’ll give you something to really cry about to the cops, you fucking homo.”

I gasp as Trip pushes forward and leaps over the banister, landing on Jackson’s back. A cloud of dust engulfs them and they immediately begin tearing into each other. It’s hard to tell where Trip ends and Jackson begins. They roll around on the ground, both trying to gain the upper hand. Trip’s size finally overpowers Jackson and he takes control.

Trip slams his fist into Jackson’s face, and Jackson’s head rocks back. “Why don’t you pick on someone who isn’t afraid to fight back?” Trip punches him again. “You fucking coward.”

Trip’s hands wrap around Jackson’s throat as blind rage takes hold of him. I grab Dad’s arm.

Oh God, please don’t let Trip kill him. Jackson isn’t worth Trip going back to jail for.

Jackson reaches up and shoves the heel of his hand into Trip’s face. Jackson is having trouble getting air because of Trip’s hold because his face turns beet red.

Max groans and rolls onto his back on the ground, just as sirens blare in the distance.

My gaze whips to Dad and panic sets in as I think about Trips past brushes with the law. I don’t want him to get into any trouble over Jackson. “You called the cops?”

He nods. “I had to, honey. There’s no way I can get involved physically. Besides, after what Jackson did to Max, the cops need to witness his handiwork. That boy needs to serve a little time.”

The first thought that enters my mind is Trip’s past. He’s been in trouble for this sort of thing before. If the police show up and see this, his past may cause him major problems.

I rush off the porch and my dad yells for me to stop, but I don’t listen. My own safety isn’t important right now. I reach Trip just as I hear a car coming down the long gravel driveway. He’s so focused on hurting Jackson that he’s oblivious to everything else going on around him.

I grab his arm and pull. “Trip, let him go. The cops are coming. They can’t see you like this.”

It takes a couple more hard tugs before he realizes I’m right there with him. “Holly, get back. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I shake my head furiously. “No. Not until you back away from him. He’s not worth it, Trip. Come on. Please,” I beg.

Trip’s gaze shoots from me to Jackson and then back to me before he releases his fingers. Jackson gasps for air and begins to cough, while Trip stares down at his hands. “What the hell am I doing?” It’s almost as if he’s whispering to himself more than me.

I help him up to his feet just as a police cruiser skids to a stop in the gravel in front of us. A young male officer jumps from the car and leaves his door wide open as he slaps his hat on his head and approaches Trip and I, his hand near the gun holstered on his side. The distinct sound of hard-rock music blasts from the car, like the guy was pumping himself up on the ride out here.

The stocky cop is about half a foot shorter than Trip’s six-foot height, but appears to be about the same age. The officer’s brown eyes roam around, accessing the situation before his sights turn back to Trip and I. I stand behind Trip, clinging to his arm, while the cop determines if the tattooed man standing before him is an immediate threat.

The cop clears his throat. “I’m Officer King. What’s going on out here?”

I open my mouth to explain, but Trip beats me to the punch. “This guy”—he points down at Jackson—“came out here uninvited and started beating on our friend over there for no reason.”

Officer King nods. “I see, and I suppose you stopped it?”

“Yes. I couldn’t stand by and let him get away with hurting my friend. Max has a restraining order against him. It should be on file.”

Jackson pushes himself up at the same time Max does. I race over to Max and help him to his feet. “Are you okay?”

Max nods. “I think so. It’s not as bad as last time. Thank God for Trip, huh?”

I hug Max. “I’m so glad you’re okay. Maybe now the law will actually do something about Jackson.”

“On your feet,” the officer commands while glaring down at Jackson. “I need to see some identification from all of you.” The guys all fish their wallets from their back pockets and hands Officer King their drivers licenses. “You all stay put while I run these through.”

Max and I walk over and stand next to Trip, while Jackson keeps a safe distance, leaning against his car.

Trips clamps Max’s shoulder. “You all right, buddy?”

Max winces and Trip offers an apologetic frown. “I’m okay. Thank you for what you did. I owe you one.”

“Any friend of Holly’s, is a friend of mine.” He slings his arm over my shoulders and pulls me into him.

Max grins at me. “Your girl, huh? I always knew you had a thing for him. I should start a dating service with my mad relationship-predicting skills.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re lucky you’re wounded, because that would’ve earned you a smack.”

Max laughs and then winces as he grabs his ribs. “You know you love me.”

Trip and I both chuckle. It’s good to see Max hasn’t lost his playful spirit, and my heart aches knowing he’s been going through hell for so long and I didn’t stop it.

A moment later, the officer returns from his vehicle with a mean scowl on his face. He hands Max back his license first and then turns to Jackson, “I’m going to need you to turn around and place your hands behind your back.”

My mouth drops open at the same time Max says, “Holy shit.”

“My thoughts exactly,” I say as I watch the cop cuff Jackson’s hands behind his back.

“You can’t do this, you know,” Jackson says over his shoulder to Office King, who is busy reading him the Miranda rights. “Do you know who I am? You won’t be able to hold me long. I have money and lawyers.”

Officer King tightens the cuffs and Jackson winces. “I know exactly who you are. Ask me if I give two shits that you’re some dirt bike hot shot. We have pictures on file of what you did to Max over there. We’ve been looking for you. Seems you’ve been hiding from us over the last week. The guys down at the station will be happy to finally meet you, especially your new cellmates. They love meeting celebrities who hate homosexuals.”

“No. You can’t do this. Please,” Jackson begs as the cop leads him to the back of the cruiser and shoves him inside. I chuckle when the door slams in his face.

The cop straightens his clothes and readjusts the hat on his head before heading in our direction. “We’re going to take him in for violating the restraining order. Would either of you two gentlemen like to press charges against Mr. Cruze?” Both Max and Trip both shake their heads at the same time and Officer King sighs. “I figured you’d say that. Let me give you a word of advice. Even though he probably came here to start trouble with the two of you, he’s going to claim he didn’t know the two of you would be here and that you attacked him.”

“But officer that’s not what happened,” I chime in.

He looks at me. “I know that, but it’ll basically be their word against his. There’s nothing in the restraining order barring him from coming to Mountain Time specifically, and he is a well-known motocross figure, a judge is likely to side with him.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I say.

“I agree, but Jackson may want to go after Trip as well for financial gain. He probably knows you’re worth millions. You should really keep that in mind Mr. Douglas and press charges first.” Office Kings hands Trip back his license.

Trip? Millions? What? I’m so confused. People who manage bands don’t make that much, do they? And how would this cop know how much money he makes?

I stare up at Trip trying to figure out exactly what he’s hiding from me. Is he not who he says he is? Do I really even know him at all? I know he feels me looking at him, be he refuses to make eye contact with me. He swallows hard and works the muscle under his jaw. He knows I just caught on that he’s hiding something from me.

Trip stuffs his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I think I will press charges,” Max chimes in next to me, pulling me out of thought. “I don’t want to get in trouble for something he started.”

Trip rubs his forehead. “Maybe you’re right, Max, we should go file.”

Officer King nods. “I’ll meet you down at the station.”

Max steps away from me and towards his car. “You guys want to ride with me?”

“We’ll follow you,” Trip says, not giving me a chance to answer.

Max nods and heads for his car to follow the police cruiser into town. Trip shoves his hands into his pockets and heads off to his car without another word. It’s not like him to ignore me. Even when we didn’t exactly get along he never did that, and he’s being awfully quiet too.

My stomach sinks. Am I just a fling to him? Is that why he’s been keeping secrets from me? I wrap my arms around myself and follow Trip to the car. Finding out the truth about the man I’ve been slowly giving my heart to scares me. This could change everything.

Chapter 14

One More Lie Holly The Mustang hums as Trip drives us down the road. He still hasn’t said a word to me, and I’m not quite sure what I should say. I replay over and over in my mind the way the conversation will probably go the moment I confront him. He’ll either say that the cop doesn’t know what he’s talking about, even though he seemed to have a lot of information about Trip. Trip didn’t bother to correct him either, which makes me lean toward the cop telling the truth.

The other thing Trip might say is that it’s the truth and that everything he’s ever told me is a complete lie and he has no intention of ever getting really serious with me—that he wanted to keep me in the dark while he slept with me.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair. Either way I need to know. “Are you going to talk to me?”

Trip flexes his fingers around the steering wheel. “About what?”

“You know exactly what. Are you going to tell me what that cop meant and how he knows so much about you?”

He blows a rush of air through his nose. “Can we talk about this after we get the Jackson situation handled? Everyone is already on edge and I don’t want to add to it. After that, I promise I’ll explain everything to you.”

I stare at him for a long moment, deciding if I can wait that long to know. Not knowing what his secret is makes my mind conjure up a million different things.

He glances over. “Please?”

I sigh. It’s not ideal because I want to know now, but if I don’t like what I hear, I don’t see how I can make it through all the paperwork down at the police station. “Okay. Fine. But as soon as we’re done, we’re talking about this.”

He reaches over and takes my hand, raising it to his lips and kissing my knuckles. “We will. It’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now. I’ll be glad when everything is out in the open.”

Trip pulls into the parking lot of the redbrick building and cuts the engine. The cop we followed pulls around the back, probably to unload his prisoner. I hop out of the car and glance around until I spot Max heading towards me. The remnants of the last attack from Jackson still cover his face. The bruises have turned from black to yellow, and have nearly disappeared, but he’s got a newly busted lip thanks to Jackson. I’m ashamed all this happened to him, but one good thing came out of it. Max’s parents finally found out that he’s gay. His deepest secret that he never wanted them to know is finally out in the open and the reaction Max feared never came. Both of his parents fully accepted the fact that their son was gay, and said they had suspected so for a long time. Max has been the happiest I’ve ever seen him. That is, until just a little while ago when he was reminded that not all people are so open-minded.

Trip rushes over and wraps his arm around my shoulders and says to Max, “Let’s go end this.”

Fluorescent lights illuminate the light-green brick walls inside the building. The three of us make our way to the front desk—the same one we were at when Max last filed a report.

The same heavy-set cop with the mustache greets us at the front desk. “You three back again?”

“Yes, sir. We’re here to press charges against the guy that we got the restraining order for last week,” Trip informs him.

The officer types a few words into his computer. “Ah, yes. Mr. Cruze. I see they just brought him in. Go ahead and tell me what happened.”

I listen as both Max and Trip recount what took place leading up to the fight. I’m so proud of Max as I listen to him bravely tell the officer everything Jackson said to him. I’m glad he’s finally standing up for himself.

Trip on the other hand seems rather angry and annoyed talking about Jackson. I can tell pushing the issue of the fight isn’t something he really wants, but feels obligated to do.

“Let me get all this filed. Go ahead and have a seat.” He nods toward the row of plastic chairs against the wall.

“Wonder how long this is going to take,” Max says with mild annoyance in his voice. “I want to get this over with.”

Just as I attempt to comfort Max, I hear my name being called from across the room. “Holly. Hey, Holly!”

I whip my head towards the frantic voice and my eyes widen as I watch an officer walk Grace up to a desk parallel to the reception desk. Her dirty-blonde hair is matted into clumps and the dingy-white tank-top she’s wearing falls off her left shoulder. She looks like hell, and God knows she probably hasn’t eaten or showered in days. The urge to not acknowledge my mother’s existence washes through me. It hurts to see her. It’s a reminder that she loves drugs more than me.

Whatever she did to land herself in here is deserved. Besides, she should be used to this by now. I can’t even begin to count the number of collect phone calls Dad receives from this place.

I turn to walk away without saying a word, pulling Trip along with me, but what she says stops me in my tracks. “Holly, please! Don’t let me die in here. They’re going to lock me up for a while this time. I need bail money. Call Bill. He’ll get me out.”

I spin on my heel. “Detoxing won’t kill you, Grace. It’ll do you some good to be in here for a while and get clean. Don’t call the house this time. Dad doesn’t need to get involved in your crap.”

Grace fidgets under my stare, and her cheeks sink in even more when she frowns while she rocks back and forth on her heels. “Please, Holly. I’m dying. I have HIV, and I don’t have much time. Don’t let me rot in this jail like an animal. I’m still your mother. Don’t you care if I die?”

My heart leaps into my throat and Trip’s arm tightens around my waist. Did I just hear her right?

“No.” I shake my head. “You’re lying. This is another trick to make me feel sorry for you. This is the same shit you pull on my dad, and I won’t let you do this to me. You’re already dead to me, Grace. Do you hear me? Dead.”

She wipes her nose over and over while she stares dead into my eyes. “I deserve that. I’m a horrible person and a shitty mother, but you look like you turned out all right. Me staying away was the best thing. Bill knew that, which is why he still helps me. I swear to you that I’m telling you the truth. Bill knows all about it and refuses to let me die alone in a gutter some place like I deserve, but he won’t let me come back home either.” Grace sighs and wipes a couple tears out of her eyes. “He’s forgiven me for making him sick. I hope one day you will too. I’m begging you to call him. He’ll come get me.”

My entire body tenses as her words sink in. This isn’t real. Dad wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t be this sick and not tell me about it. He has the flu or something—that’s what he said. I’m not believing a word that comes out of her mouth unless I hear them straight from Dad.

Tears flow down my face and I drop my head, wishing they would just lock Grace up already. I don’t want to stand here and listen to any more of her lies.

It’s as if my prayers have been answered. I hear a male voice order, “Time to go, Pearson.”

“Holly! Please let him know! I’m begging you!” Those are the last words I hear as my mother is carted off to a cell, somewhere in the building.

I don’t know what’s going to happen to her, and I’ll probably go to hell for saying this, but I don’t really care either. As long as she and her lies stay out of my life, things will be fine.

“You okay?” Trip whispers in my ear while he tugs me against his chest.

I sniff and attempt to wipe the moisture from my eyes. “Yeah. I hate her. I can’t believe she would tell a lie like that. She’s insane. I’m just ready to get out of here.”

“Excuse me, officer? Can we go now or are we waiting on something?” Trip questions the cop.

The cop picks up the phone. “King? Yeah. The people involved with the Cruze case are set to go. Did you still want to talk with them? Okay.” He turns his gaze to us. “Officer King will be right up.”

Trip nods and he looks at me and shrugs. “Guess we can’t leave yet.”

My shoulders slump in disappointment. The longer I sit here, the longer all the unanswered questions I have from this evening are going to eat away at my brain. Trip and my father both have a lot of explaining to do. “I hope he hurries.”

A few moments after Trip and I take a seat next to Max, Officer King comes through a door located in the back office. Next to the other officers in the room, I notice just how much younger he is.

King removes his hat and tucks it under his left arm while he holds some paper and a pen in the other. “I’m sorry to keep you. That Cruze guy is a piece of work. A demanding man, isn’t he?”

Max chuckles next to me. “He’s the biggest asshole I know.”

“I won’t say the biggest, but he’s in the running.” The cop sits down next to Trip and lays his hat on the empty chair beside him. “I know this is unprofessional, but I’m a huge fan and I wondered if I could get your autograph.”

My brow furrows and I press my lips into a tight line as I wait for Trip’s reaction. What in the hell is this guy talking about?

Trip pauses for a long moment, and then he removes his arms from my shoulders and reaches for the paper and pen. “Who do I make it out to?”

My mouth drops open and I stare at this complete stranger right next to me.

TRIP

Fuck. This is not how I wanted Holly to find out about me.

“Make it out to Ben, please,” Officer King says as I click the pen.

I scroll my autograph onto the blank piece of paper while I feel Holly’s glare burning into me. She looks over my shoulder and reads the words I wrote: Ben— Thanks for rocking with Black Falcon!

Best, Trip Douglas I hand him back the paper and pen and rake my fingers through my hair. He smiles as he reads what I wrote. “Hell yeah. I’m framing this shit.”

I throw up a metal horn and tell him, “Rock on, brother.”

He quickly stands and slaps his hat back on his head. “I’ll try to get them to hold Mr. Cruze as long as I can, but in all likelihood it won’t be that long. If you can Mr. Douglas, I would keep your distance from him. Celebrity or not, your criminal record in this case isn’t good. A judge will likely side with him since this would be your second offense in a domestic violence case.”

Damn that Jessica. Will this shit continue to haunt my ass for the rest of my life? Cheating slut caused me to have a permanent blemish with the law.

I reach out and shake Officer King’s hand. “Thanks, man. I appreciate the heads up.”

“No worries. Call me up here at the station if you need anything else.”

“Will do.”

As the cop leaves us alone, I sigh, knowing it’s time to face the firing squad. I turn towards Holly. Both she and Max stare at me like I grew a third eye. “I can explain.”

“Work for Black Falcon, huh?” Holly asks with heavy sarcasm in her voice.

I swallow. “I know you’re pissed. I should’ve told you before, but I had my reasons.”

Max throws up his hands. “Wait. So you’re in the band, Black Falcon?”

I nod. “Yeah. I’m the drummer.”

“Fucking rad. Holly, didn’t you know?” Max asks, surprised by my identity.

Holly’s eyes widen. “You’re Mr. Snare?”

I try to take her hand, but she pulls away from my touch. “I was going to tell you.”

Her eyes search my face. “What else don’t I know about you?”

“Nothing,” I tell her firmly. “That’s the only thing I’ve been keeping from you. I swear.”

She drops her head and closes her eyes while Max and I sit quietly either side of her. “I need to get out of here.”

“Come on. I’ll take you home,” I tell her.

“No,” she snaps. “I’m not ready to talk to you right now. Max”—Holly turns towards him—“will you take me?”

“Of course,” he answers automatically, before glancing over to me with an apologetic frown.

I open my mouth to protest, but quickly close it. I’m not ready for her to make the wrong assumptions about why I kept something so important about myself from her. I need her to know that I do care about her, despite my dumbass decision for not telling her sooner. Being rejected by her is something I don’t think I can face.

Holly stands up next to me and I reach out and grab her hand and close my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“I can’t do this right now, Trip.” She pulls away from my grasp and my chest tightens as I open my eyes and watch her walk away.

The thought of never holding her in my arms again leaves me feeling cold and empty inside—a shell of the man without her. I’m tired of this empty feeling lingering inside me. The times I’ve spent with her the last few weeks have been some of the best I’ve had in a long time and that means something to me—she means something to me.

Right then, sitting in that sterile police station the realization hits me. I love her. It’s not just the infatuation or great sex talking. I love her for her. I can’t let this be the end. I know we’re meant to be together. It’s time I make her see that we’re perfect for one another.

I jump up from the seat to chase after her, but I’m too late. All I see are Max’s taillights driving away.

I need to bare my soul to this girl, and pray that she forgives me for lying to her and accepts me for what I am.

Chapter 15

It Is What It Is

HOLLY

I prop my leg up on Max’s seat and rest my elbow on my knee as he drives me home. What the hell is happening? Is nothing in my life the way I thought? Jackson is a fucking wacko, Trip isn’t who I thought he was, and does my dad have an incurable disease he’s been hiding from me?

Tears I can no longer fight back burn my eyes and my face crumples as a sob escapes me. This is all too much. I can’t take it. There’s nothing left to do but cry.

“Hey?” Max rubs my back. “You okay?”

I shake my head against my leg. “No.”

The thought of losing everyone I’ve ever cared about in one day hits me hard. Dad is everything to me. The one person I can always count on to be there for me. What am I going to do if what Grace says is true and he’s dying? I can’t lose him. Suddenly there’s no air and I find myself gasping.

“Hold on, Holl,” he says as he pulls the car over. Once we’ve stopped, I hear the seatbelt come loose. Max wraps his arm around me and attempts to tug me into a hug, but I won’t budge. “It’s going to be all right.”

“How do you know?” I cry. “Grace says my dad has HIV and Trip has just been using me. My life is fucked.”

I give in and allow him to pull me against him. “You don’t even know if what Grace said is true. Talk to your dad before you go into hysterics.”

I nod. “You’re right. I need to calm down.”

We’re silent for a moment, but then Max asks, “As far as Trip goes, I’m sure he has his reasons. Can you imagine what it must be like for him—everyone always wanting something from him because of who he is? He’s probably tired of all that. You should be open to what he has to say before you pass judgment, Holl. He’s been nothing but awesome to us...well, except for that first night in the bar. He was a little douchey to you then, but other than that...very cool.”

I pull back and wipe my face with my hand. “You don’t think he’s just using me for sex?”

Max shakes his head. “Jackson was the one that was doing that, not Trip. If he were just using you he wouldn’t have stuck around as long as he has, not to mention kicking Jackson’s ass to help me out. Do you know how big of a risk that was for him to do that for me? He risked being exposed to save me from a beating, and he didn’t even hesitate. If the press gets a hold of what happened it could trash his reputation and get him labeled as a loose cannon. That’s a good man in my book.”

This is true. Jackson would never have stuck his neck out for a friend of mine like Trip did, and we were together for two years. It still doesn’t answer the lingering question in my gut. “But he’s a fucking rock star. What in the hell is he doing wasting his time with me? He can have any woman he wants.”

Max gives me a sad smile and touches the underside of my chin. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, blondie. You’re an incredible person. You’re beautiful, smart, funny, and have one hell of a mouth on you. If I were straight, believe me, I’d be chasing you like crazy.”

I laugh. “If you were straight, I doubt you’d be this sweet.”

He chuckles. “You’re right. I’d probably gross you out on a daily basis with my tactics to get into your pants.”

“Eww,” I say and shake my head. “Don’t ever insinuate you want to get into my pants again. It’s creepy.”

“Deal.” He pulls back and smiles. “You ready to go home now?”

I lean my back against the seat. “Yeah. I need to get to the bottom of everything.”

“Things will work out, Holl. Have faith.”

Max hugs me goodbye and wishes me luck as he pulls up next to my house.

I shut the car door behind me and stare up at the house I’ve lived in all my life. The light is on in the living room. Dad is no doubt waiting to hear about the details of what happened down at the police station. He has no idea that the scrap that took place here today won’t be the main topic of our conversation when I come home.

If what Grace says is true, I’m not sure how I’m going to react. The thought of my father not being on this earth anymore is something I can fathom.

I glance around as Max pulls out of the driveway. The Mustang isn’t here, which is a relief. I don’t think I can deal with both issues at once.

I force myself up the steps and onto the porch. The doorknob is smooth in my grasp, but I can’t bring myself to turn it. Fear engulfs every inch of me and I begin to tremble. Turning around and avoiding the entire situation crosses my mind, but I know I can’t let this go forever. It’s not in my nature to move on without resolving an issue.

Before I have the chance to open the door on my own, Dad opens it from the inside. “Holly?” His eyes search the gravel lot behind me. “Honey, why are you just standing out there all alone? Where are Trip and Max?”

“Max gave me a ride home and I’m not sure where Trip is.” I stare over his shoulder into the house, and suddenly the thought of being cornered in there, hearing some possible life-shattering information, seems too much. I gesture to the bench seat on the porch. “Can we sit?”

“Sure.” Dad steps outside, concern written all over his pale face. The shadows created from the porch light make his cheekbones seem even more sunken. My eyes study his unsteady gait as he walks over and takes a seat.

He’s definitely weaker than I’ve ever seen him. I think deep down I stopped believing this was the flu a couple of months ago. No ordinary cold lasts this long. To be honest I was afraid he had cancer. Never in a million years did the idea that he might have a terminal illness that resulted from a sexually transmitted disease. But, I guess most people wouldn’t consider that.

I walk over and take a seat next to him so I can position myself to look directly into his eyes. “I saw Mom down at the station.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Oh? What was she doing down there?”

I take a deep breath. “She was getting booked again, but that’s not what I—”

“Damn it,” Dad mutters. “I told her I was out of money to bail her out. I’m going to have to figure out a way to get her out of there.”

Just like Grace predicted. “Would you listen to yourself? Why can’t you just leave her in there? She’s exactly where she needs to be—a place where she can’t hurt herself or someone else. Grace needs to stay in there and get help.”

Dad shakes his head. “We’ve been over this before, honey. I can’t leave her in there.”

“Why?” I challenge him, wanting him to admit what I already know is likely to be true. “Why is she your responsibility to take care of?”

“Holly...” his voice trails off like he would like nothing better than for me to drop the topic.

“No, Dad. I’m tired of her using you and getting away with it. She’s ruined this track with her constant need for money for her habit and when she gets locked up for them. I want you to stop saving her,” I demand.

“I can’t!” His eyes grow wide like he can’t believe he just yelled at me. “Don’t you see that I can’t?”

Tears burn my eyes and I fear that Grace’s lies maybe the truth. “No. Tell me it’s not true.”

Dad’s blue eyes soften. “Did she tell you?”

My bottom lip trembles and my entire body begins to shakes. “So it’s true. You really have.”

“Yes. I’m HIV positive,” he says and his face twists.

“No.” I shake my head furiously as my body grows numb. “No! Why did you allow her to give this to you? How could she do this?”

I break out into a full sob as I clutch my throat. That selfish bitch. She can rot in that cell for all I care.

Dad grasps my hand in his. “We didn’t know she had it until it was too late. She contracted it after she had an affair when you were just a toddler. We were still together at the time, and she wasn’t aware that she had it. After the doctors told her she was HIV positive, she left us. Your mother has had to live with the fact that she’s given us both a death sentence because of sleeping with someone outside our marriage. The day Grace left, she told me looking at you everyday was more than she could take. She knew you’d lose both your parents because of her stupidity. That’s why she got herself mixed up in drugs. Not that I condone her method of dealing with our reality, but I understand why she does it. The guilt takes a toll.”

Tears stream down my face. This isn’t happening to me. When am I going to wake up from this nightmare?

Dad squeezes my hand. “I know this is all hard for you to understand because you only know her as this low-life drug addict, but she loves you, Holly. She always has. She begged to come back home so many times, but I always refused because she couldn’t give the drugs up.”

“Did she even try,” I whisper.

A solemn expression fills his face. “Many times. Grace was never one with strong enough willpower to resist something she really wants.”

I search his face. “Why didn’t you tell me once I was old enough to understand?”

“I didn’t want you to know about our health condition. I didn’t want you to live in constant fear that we were going to die. It’s tough being a kid. You didn’t need this burden on your shoulders too. I love you, Holly. I’ll always want to protect you.”

I throw my arms around his neck. The bones in his thin shoulder press against my hands. He’s lived with this secret while it’s slowly been killing him before my eyes. I wish he would’ve told me about this, but I’m not sure knowing earlier would’ve made this any easier. All I can do is cherish every single day I have left with him on this earth. “I love you too, Dad.”

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but I’m glad you know. It takes a huge weight off my shoulders,” he says as he pulls back and kisses my cheek. Dad’s entire body shivers. “It’s getting chilly. I have to head back inside. Do you want me to make you something to eat?”

I shake my head. “No, thanks. I think I want to sit out here for a while.”

He pats my leg and shoves himself off the bench. “Take your time, honey. I know it’s a lot to take in.”

The moment Dad leaves my sight, and goes back into the house, I bolt from the house. Headlights shine on me as I fly across the parking lot. I run as fast and as hard as my legs will take me. My dad is my entire world right now, and everything about the house, the shop and the track remind me of him. I have to get away. I need to clear my head so I can process all this shit. My brain can’t take much more.

The air whooshes from my lungs as I reach the field on the other side of the track and trip over a rock. The solid ground scrapes my arms and hands as I land hard, face first. That’s when I can no longer hold back my tears. They flow like hot lava down my face and I roll onto my side and allow myself this time to grieve. And it’s not just for my dad being sick, it’s for the loss of my mother and how she’s making me handle this all alone.

A hard sob escapes my lips just as strong hands wrap around my shoulders and lean me up. Trip is sitting on his knees in the dirt with his eyebrows pulled in and a slight frown in his face. The concern in his eyes chokes me up. He’s the last person I expected to try and comfort me. After all, we aren’t exactly on the best of terms right now.

I open my mouth to tell him to go away, but no words come out. Instead I wrap my arms around him and cry into his shoulder. The way he wraps his arms around me, like he’s going to protect me forever makes me cry harder. Now that I know he’s a mega-star, the reality hits me that he’ll be leaving me soon too. I’ll be left here completely alone.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers and folds me in his arms even tighter. “I’ve got you.”

“It’s true. Grace was right.” I cling to him like my life depends on it. “I can’t lose him, Trip. He’s all I’ve got.”

“You’ve got me.” He strokes the back of my head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Don’t make promises that you don’t intend to keep,” I say as I close my eyes and burrow myself into the crook of his neck.

Trip pulls back and cradles my face in his hands. “I’ll always be here for you.”

I try to pull away because the intensity in his stare is almost more than I can bear. “Trip...how can that be true? I’m a nobody and you’re some famous rock star. You won’t want to be with me forever.”

“You’re everything to me. Can’t you see that you’re it for me? You’re perfect for me, Holly. I never understood love, not really, not until you. I like myself better when I’m with you. You and me—we’re perfection,” he whispers. “My feelings for you will never change.”

My heart melts at the sound of his words, but the reality of how easily he could change his mind gnaws at the pit of my stomach. “What happens when someone better comes a long?”

His lips pull into a tight line. “There’s no one on this earth that can compare to you. I love you, Holly.”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. The look in his green eyes tells me he means every word of what he’s saying. I can’t deny that I’ve had some pretty strong feelings for him too. How can I not tell him I feel the same way after he’s laid out his feelings so clearly. He deserves my complete honesty after that.

I open my eyes to meet his gaze. “I think I love you too.”

He grins. “Think, huh? That’s a start, I guess. But just so we’re clear, I know that I love you.”

That causes me to smile and it feels good to hear that after so much crying and sadness. “I love you too.”

“That’s much better,” he murmurs against my lips before I fade into his kiss.

Chapter 16

Light Up the Sky

TRIP

Holly’s dainty hand fits perfectly in mine as we walk around the track hand in hand. It’d taken an entire day of convincing, but she finally allowed me to dump some money into this place to get it ready for the race this weekend.

I throw my arm around her shoulders as we watch a crew repair parts of the track and build the stage for the band to perform. “This is going to be so awesome. I’m excited.”

She smiles up at me. “Me too, but I still feel like it’s wrong to allow you to spend so much of your own money on this place.”

I kiss the tip of her nose. “I’m a partner, right? I look at spending my money here as investing in a business I co-own. You being my girl doesn’t affect that.”

She runs her hand down my back and raises an eyebrow when she grabs my butt. “Are you sure?”

I nip her bottom lip. “Afraid so, but you know that I would give you the world if you asked.”

She grins. “Who knew the smart-assed player I met a month ago would be so sweet.”

I chuckle. “Not me. I didn’t know this part of me still existed until you brought it back out of me.”

“I like knowing I’m the one who makes you so sweet.” She rises up and presses her lips to mine.

“Okay, that’s enough of that.” Holly stiffens at the sound of my brother’s voice and turns around. Tyke stands there in his dark jeans, and gray t-shirt, his blonde hair spiked in every direction. He shoves his hands deep in his pockets and smiles as he checks out my girl. “This must be Holly.”

She tucks herself into my side and rests her hand on my stomach. “You must be Tyke.”

Tyke’s gaze cuts to me and he laughs before it returns to Holly. “How’d you know?”

She shrugs. “Lucky guess.”

Holly’s cell buzzes in her back pocket. After she checks the screen, she glances up at me. “Dad’s calling. He’s probably reminding me we have to get going to his appointment.”

I nod and kiss her forehead. “Don’t let us keep you. We’ll be here when you get back.”

“Okay,” she tells me before turning in my brother’s direction. “I guess I’ll see you later?”

Tyke smiles. “You can count on it.”

A light breeze blows Holly’s blonde hair as she walks toward the house, swaying her hips. I can’t take my eyes off her. She’s like a magnet and the attraction between us is crazy. Man, I hate to be apart from that girl, but I love watching her walk away. Her ass has to be one of my most favorite body parts.

Tyke steps beside me and he turns to catch the same view I have. “Now I know why you haven’t been returning my calls.”

I laugh. “Sorry about that. I’ve been a little preoccupied.”

“I can see that.” He glances over at me. “It’s good to see you happy again. It just sucks you had to find it on the other side of the country.”

“Yeah.” I sigh. “That’s going to be rough. She’ll never leave this place or her father. I wouldn’t ask her to either. Leaving her here is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I don’t know how Noel and Riff do it.”

“They’ll be glad to hear that you’re finally sympathetic to them needing so much time off,” Tyke teases.

I rub my forehead. “I gave them a lot of shit for getting themselves tied down once it started affecting the band’s schedule. It seemed insensitive to us because we still lived and breathed just the band.”

“And now...” he prods.

“Now I get it. I don’t want to leave Holly here. Leaving her will kill me,” I admit.

“You love her,” his voice is as sure as the words he speaks. He’s always known me better than anyone else.

“I do.” I don’t even hesitate when I answer because I know I’ve never said anything truer in my life.

Tyke nods. “It seems that we’re all changing, going in different directions in life. I suspected this would happen one day. I just never imagined it would happen while we’re still on top.”

I furrow my brow. “What are you talking about? Short vacations don’t mean the band is breaking up. You need to get that thought out of your head. We’re all finding something else to love other than just the band and music. Don’t you see that we’re all finally starting to live our lives? No one is calling it quits.”

I don’t understand his line of thinking. My brother may be great at seeing the bigger picture in most things, but he’s way off base on this one. No way will Black Falcon ever break up. That’s just fucking insane.

Tyke gives me a sad smile. “I hope you’re right, baby brother.” He claps me on the back. “Come on. Give me the grand tour of your new business.”

We spend the next couple of hours walking the dirt track, checking out all the rabbit hills, doubles and tabletop jumps. This place is really coming together. When you see it from this perspective, it really is amazing how much easier and quicker money makes things. Everything is newly painted and the porch on Holly and Bill’s house is finally complete, along with the office being sandblasted. I even have a few computer nerds on the property hooking up new electronic equipment all over the place.

Shit is really coming together. Not only here at Mountain Time, but with Bill and Holly as well. The initial shock of Bill’s diagnosis was hard for Holly, and I’m not sure she’s quite over it yet, but I think once she gets involved in his medical care that will help. Holly is a fixer, so she’ll want to know all the details about her father’s condition and ways she can help ease his discomfort.

She’s never once mentioned her mother to me again. I think there are some things a person just can’t forgive. Maybe with time and a lot of soul-searching she’ll figure out that situation on her own, but I’m not going to push her. It’s her choice if she wants to reconcile with her mother. I don’t know if I ever would if I were in her position.

I guess only time will tell.

As we’re walking back toward the office, Tyke asks, “What’s going on with the beats for the new tracks? Have you worked on them at all?”

I shove my hands into my pockets. “I’ve thought about a few of the songs, but I have to be honest, man, my mind has been on other things lately.”

“Things as in Holly,” he says filling in the blanks. “I suppose I should’ve accepted that. When we talked about her on the phone, I figured she was your main priority at the moment. Riff and Noel haven’t worked on anything either.”

The disgruntled tone in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed. “Are you pissed? We still have loads of time. You know shit will come together and flow once we’re in the studio. Don’t sweat it.”

“That’s the problem, Trip. I’m the only one of us that does sweat it. I write the songs and ninety percent of the time, I’m the one who develops the melody too. It wasn’t always like that. I remember a time when all of you wanted to chip in and put in the work to make the album kick ass.” He scrubs his hand down his face.

I stop dead in my tracks and turn towards him. “Is that why you’re really here so early—to lecture me about not working hard enough on the album?”

“That’s part of the reason.”

I flinch and let out an exasperated laugh. “You’ve got to be joking. Have you lectured the other two about this, or are you only going to single me out as usual.”

“No, I plan on telling them too,” Tyke answers.

“Good. If I’m going to get a talking to, then they should to. You should’ve been elected band leader. God knows Noel doesn’t do much with his power except exploit it for his own personal gain.”

He shakes his head. “No. I’m responsible for enough as it is and quite frankly, I’m tired of it.”

Alarms go off in my brain. Fuck. I don’t like where this conversation is leading. “What do you mean, Tyke? What are you not telling me?”

Tyke takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m thinking of leaving the band.”

“WHAT?!” My heart bangs against my ribs. I can’t believe what I’m fucking hearing. “What the fuck do you mean? Wha—I don’t...I mean...Damn it! Why?”

He frowns. “I’m ready to branch out and do my own thing for a while. I want to be able to perform the music that I write, the exact way I envision it in my mind.”

I throw my hands up. “You can do that right now. Running off and starting over isn’t the answer.”

He tilts his head. “It is, Trip. This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now, and this is the perfect time to branch out on my own. I’m not saying I’ll leave the band forever. I just need a break, like the rest of you, only my break from Black Falcon won’t be because of a woman.”

Every fiber in my body buzzes with emotion, and for the first time in a long while, I feel like crying. “I’m begging you to not do this. It will ruin everything.”

He places his hand on my shoulder. “It’s all going to work out. You’ll see. Thousands of bass players will line up to fill in for me. You guys won’t even miss a beat.”

I stare into my brother’s eyes and see the conviction in them. He wants to do this. Who am I to deny him of his new dream? Nothing lasts forever, and I guess even identical twins need their own space.

I sigh. “When do you plan on telling the others?”

His lips pull into a tight frown. “I don’t know. It’s going to be soon, though. I think it may be after we record the new album. Don’t say anything. I owe it to them to be the one to tell them.”

I swallow down the lump building in my throat. “It seems like you’ve already made up your mind.”

“I think I have. This is something I need to do.”

“Then you should do it. It’s not like we wouldn’t take you back. You can try a solo gig and then come back after you’ve gotten it out of your system,” I reason.

“Yeah...” Tyke clears his throat. “We’ll see.”

Before we can delve any further into the topic, the Mustang pulls down the driveway. Holly liked that car so much I went ahead and bought it for her. You would’ve thought I’d given her the moon with how crazy she went when I’d handed her the title and the keys. It’s an amazing feeling to have someone who appreciates me, so I don’t mind spoiling her in return.

Holly helps Bill out of the car and waves to Tyke and I. I pull my hand from my pocket and wave at her in return as I think about how, in this moment, I finally feel complete. Too bad things can’t stay like this. A shit storm is brewing, and it’s all going to hit the fucking fan once Tyke breaks the news to our band brothers. Shit’s about to get fucking real.

Chapter 17

Between the Raindrops

Holly

I glance up from the registration table at the long line of riders here to sign up for the races this weekend. Every inch of the property at Mountain Time Speed Track seems like it has someone on it. Campers, sponsorship tents, scouts, riders, spectators, and our staff span out as far as the eye can see. Thanks to donations from Tyke and the rest of the Black Falcon guys we have been able to staff the two food pavilions, and hire a clean-up crew and experienced track hands. This place hasn’t ever been this busy. If I weren’t bombarded with getting everyone through this line as quick as I can so they can practice on the track, I would cry.

Screams erupt all around me as my boyfriend makes his way over. Trip shakes his head with a big grin on his face when he catches me staring at him. His black t-shirt clings to his chiseled chest and shows off the definition in his toned body. The tattoos covering his arms may give the impression of bad-boy, but I know now that there’s nothing but a big softy hiding behind that filthy mouth.

Trip twists the baseball cap on his head backwards and bends down to kiss my cheek. “Hey, beautiful. How are you doing? Do you need me to help you?”

I shake my head. “The line will take three times as long if you sit here with me. People will line up to see you rather than register. So as much as I would like to take you up on that, I’m going to have to pass.”

A random female fan yells, “WE LOVE YOU, TRIP!” from the back of the crowd somewhere.

I give him an I-told-you-so look and he laughs. “Good point. I’ll send Max over to help you out.”

I smile. “Good idea.”

He kisses my lips. “I’ll see you in a bit. I’m going to head over to the hotel and catch up with the guys. Tyke texted me a few minutes ago and told me Noel and Riff just made it in with their families.”

“I’m nervous about meeting them,” I admit.

He touches my cheek. “They’re going to love you.”

The crowd starts chanting, “Black Falcon. Black Falcon. Black Falcon.” The noise is deafening.

“Is it like this for you all the time?” I ask as I shove a finger in my ear.

He nods. “Always. I’ve got to go, before they jump over this table.”

“Go!” I shout to him over the crowd.

I can see he’s reluctant to leave me, but we both know there’s no way in hell he can stay out here and help. I push his arm and shoo him away until he finally turns and pushes his way back through the crowd.

I purse my lips and let out a long breath. This is some crazy life I’ve gotten myself mixed up in, but being with Trip is worth all the craziness.

The rest of the day goes on without a hitch. The riders made it through qualifying runs, and moved into the quarterfinals. This event is going better than expected. There are even a few scouts out there checking out the riders in this open class event.

After all the bikes clear out, and there’s nothing but chatter from the campers, I breathe a sigh of relief.

We did it.

“Checking out your success?” Max asks next to me.

I cross my arms over my chest. “Yeah. It was pretty great.”

“Agreed,” he says while digging a small scrap of paper out of his pocket. He hands it to me. “Check it out.”

I snatch the paper from his hand as he waves it in front of my face. “What is this?”

He chuckles. “Open it and see.”

I unfold the paper, and a very male script is scrolled onto the paper asking Max to call him and then listing a phone number.

My eyes widen. “You met someone?”

Max grins. “I did. He’s nice...and hot. I’m excited.”

I laugh and hand the paper back to him while he practically glows. “I’m happy for you, Max. Everything is falling into place for you.”

“And for you,” he adds. “Trip and you are great together. I’m glad you ditched the asshole. Trip is so much better for you.”

“He is. I love him so much.” I give him a sad smile, not knowing if I can really ever forgive myself for not seeing the signs for how Jackson treated him for so long, but Max finally being in a good place is a start.

“I checked the county jail’s website. Jackson hasn’t made bail yet, but I’m sure he will. One of these days he’s going to land himself in prison. I can’t wait until we have our day in court and tell the world what a rotten bastard he is,” Max says.

I take his hand in mine. “And I’ll be right by your side.”

He smiles. “Thank you, Holl. I’m glad I have a best friend like you.”

A text message chimes in on my phone.

Trip: I’m waiting at your house for you. I’m excited you’re meeting my friends.

I glance down at my track outfit and sigh. Going out tonight is the last thing I want to do, but if it’s that important to Trip, I’ll go.

Holly: See you in a few.

“Is that Trip?” Max asks.

“Yeah. He wants me to meet the rest of the band tonight, but I don’t know if I feel up to it,” I admit.

“Trip will understand if you want to wait.” Max hugs me into his side and then clears his throat. “Have you heard from Grace?”

I stiffen in his arms. “She’s called the house a few times and talked with Dad, but I’m not ready for that yet. I’m glad to hear she’s handling detox well, and she may only have to serve six months of her eighteen month sentence.”

Max pats my shoulder. “Maybe in time you will.”

I shrug. “Maybe. She’ll have to prove that she’s changed before I even consider having any kind of relationship with her.”

He gives me one final squeeze. “Okay, Blondie. I’ll see you tomorrow. Go inside and get some rest.”

I hug him back. “Will do.”

Exhausted, I trudge inside the house. Trip is sitting in the living room talking to my Dad, who looks a little better since he started treatment again. The doctors where pretty pissed that he stayed away because of his inability to pay. They lectured him a lot about financial assistance, even though he won’t need it now that Trip is covering his medical bills. I learned a lot when I went to the clinic with him the other day. There are so many false ideas floating around out there about HIV. The main thing I learned is that with correct medical care, Dad can live a long life, and that’s exactly what I’m hoping for.

Trip glances up at me as I lean against the entryway into the living room. “You look beat.”

I run my fingers through my hair. “I am.”

Trip pushes himself up off the couch and comes to stand in front of me. He takes my hand in his. “We don’t have to go to the hotel tonight. They’ll all be here with their buses tomorrow. You can meet the other guys then.”

Relieved, I smile. Meeting a bunch of rock stars and their beautiful wives isn’t something I’m up for right now. “That sounds good. All I really want to do is take a hot shower and go to bed.”

Trip wiggles his eyebrows. “Great idea.”

I laugh as I push away from him, not wanting my dad to witness mine and Trip’s public show of affection. “Good night, Dad.”

“Night, honey. Great job today,” he calls as I make my way upstairs with Trip in tow.

A few moments later, after Trip allows me to untangle myself from his arms, I step into a stream of hot water. I close my eyes and duck my head under the water, washing away the sweat and grime of the hectic day. My muscles ache from moving and carrying things all day long. It was constant today.

The shower curtain slides open and Trip stands there, wearing nothing but a wicked grin. “Mind if I join you?”

I laugh. “How can I turn down that proposal?”

He steps inside the shower with me and dips his head, allowing the water to flow through his hair. The water slides down his body and my first thought is lucky water.

I chuckle to myself for being jealous.

Trip cocks his head to the side. “What are you laughing about?”

I shake my head, still amused. “Nothing.”

Trip leans in and presses my back against the tiled wall. “I think I’m just going to have to make you tell me.”

I tilt my head up to stare into his hooded eyes. “How do you plan on doing that?”

He traces a finger down the center of my stomach all the way down to my pussy, where he slides it against the folds. I bite my lip as he toys with me, turning me on like only he can.

Trip presses his forehead to mine and licks his lips. “Like this,” he whispers against my mouth.

The moment his finger rubs against my clit, I moan, “Trip.”

“I fucking love the way you say my name.” His tongue darts out and he traces my lower lip with it. “Say it again.”

He rubs in a circular motion and my hands reach up, finding their way into his thick, black hair. I cling to him as I say his name again.

“Jesus,” he murmurs before crushing his mouth against mine.

I’ll never get tired of this, and I know it’s crazy, but I can’t imagine my world without him in it now. He’s quickly becoming everything to me, and I can’t wait to see where this relationship leads. Trip is right. We are perfection.

The Arizona heat beats down on us. It’s ridiculously hot for an October day, but I’m not complaining. I would rather have the sunshine versus rain, which we get very little of. All of the riders that made it into the semi-finals are out on the track, preparing for their run, praying they’ll make it to the finals where the bulk of the prize money lies in wait for the winners.

“Looks like it’s going to be a kickass day for the heats,” Trip says while surveying the tack beside me. “I don’t think things could have gone better.”

“I agree,” I say, feeling completely accomplished, taking in the fact that Trip and I planned and pulled this huge event off together in less than two weeks. “We make an amazing team.”

He reaches down and threads my fingers through his, before bringing my knuckles up to his lips. “That we do.”

Black Falcon’s tour buses pull into the gravel lot not far from my house and I let out a nervous sigh.

“Don’t be nervous,” Trip says.

I stare down at the simple t-shirt and jean shorts I’m wearing and envision the women on the bus looking much more glamorous than me. I’m not even in the same league. “Maybe I should change.”

He furrows his brow. “Why? You look great.”

Trip tugs on my hand and I freeze. “What if they hate me?”

He turns and wraps me in his arms. “Everyone on those buses will adore you, just like I do. You don’t have anything to worry about. I promise.”

I take a deep breath and stare at the buses. “Here goes nothing.”

He laughs and leads me to the bus. Each step I take, my hands grow a little clammier. The fear of the unknown always gets to me. I’ve never have liked being in the spotlight or being judged and meeting a group of new people feels no different. All of them will be checking to see if I’m good enough for Trip, measuring me up against some standard I’m not likely to meet.

After a couple swift knocks on the door, Tyke opens with a grin. “Hey, lovebirds. Come on in. The others want to meet you.”

“Great,” I say and Trip gives my hand a little reassuring squeeze.

The second we’re at the top of the steps, all eyes fall on me. I swallow hard, while Trip wears a smile so big it practically takes up his entire face. “Guys, this is Holly Pearson. Holly, this is everyone.”

I stand there frozen for a moment, and then force myself to wave. “Hi.”

A tall, slender brunette holding an infant in her arms is the first one to make a move. She places the baby’s bottle on the counter and walks over to me. She smiles and extends her arm. “Hi, Holly. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Lanie Falcon, Noel’s wife.” She motions to the very attractive man that was standing next to her. Like Trip, this guy is covered in tattoos and wears a beard.

I take her hand into mine and shake it, returning her smile with one of my own. I like her. She seems down to earth. The baby in her arms, wrapped in a soft blue blanket, squirms.

I smile down at the precious little thing. “He’s beautiful.”

Lanie’s pretty face instantly brightens at the mention of the baby. “Thank you. He looks so much like his father.” She laughs. “One of these days I have the feeling I’ll be beating off the ladies with a big stick.”

The beautiful redheaded woman sitting on the couch next to another hot guy with a crazy-looking Mohawk says, “More like a big club, Lanie.”

The two men and women laugh along with Trip and Tyke. If the women are as crazy over the rest of these guys as they are over Trip, I would have to agree with the club theory.

Trip points to the second couple. “That’s Aubrey and Riff. He’s our lead guitarist.”

Riff raises his hand and waves just as a second baby begins to cry from somewhere in the back. The tatted rocker grins and kisses Aubrey’s cheek. “And that would be our daughter, Hailey. She gets cranky when the bus stops.”

My eyes flit around the bus. Walking onto a bus with couples and babies isn’t exactly the rock star image I had floating around in my mind.

There must be an odd expression on my face, because Trip asks, “Something wrong?”

“No,” I answer, shaking myself out of the thought. “I guess this isn’t exactly what I expected.”

He chuckles and winks at me. “Yeah. We’re a rowdy bunch of rockers on this bus.”

Tyke opens the refrigerator door. “Do you want something to drink, Holly?”

“Sure. Do you have a bottle of water?” I ask.

Lanie and Aubrey look at each other knowingly and smile, before Lanie says, “I think Holly is going to fit in just fine around here. If she’d asked for a beer, she wouldn’t have been the girl for you, Trip.”

“Like I’d let the two of you decide that for me,” Trip says with an amused tone.

“You’re like a brother to us,” Aubrey says. “We’ll always watch out for you. We want to see you settle down with a nice girl—not one of those party-girls.”

“Don’t worry.” Trip throws his arm around my shoulders. “My girl here isn’t even a fan of our music.”

I smack his stomach. “Shush, Trip!”

“What?” He laughs while his eyes twinkle. “That will earn you points with these two.”

“That’s true,” Lanie confirms.

I shrug. “I’ve only ever heard one song.”

“Which one?” Aubrey asks.

I grimace. “Ball Busting Bitch.”

Another round of laughter fills the bus as Noel begins shaking his head. “I’m never going to live that one down, am I?”

Lanie shakes her head and kisses his lips. “Afraid not.”

“What’s so funny about that song?” I whisper to Trip.

“It’s actually funnier to hear Noel explain it,” Trip replies.

“Yeah, Noel. Why don’t you tell Holly about how you love to dedicate that song?” Riff says with a snicker as he returns, rocking a baby in a little pink blanket in his arms.

Noel launches into the story just as Tyke hands me a bottle and grins. “Welcome to the family, Holly.”

And just like that, they accepted me into this down-to-earth group full fold. I might just fit in here after all.

––––––––

TRIP

I pound out the end beats to one of our hits on the foot pedal as I stare out into the sold out crowd. It’s good to know this race has brought in enough money to put this place back in the black for a long time. Bill has thanked me about a million times this weekend while we watched the semi-finals and the final heats run through. He even allowed me and the rest of the Black Falcon members to award the prize money.

It’s good to know everything is working out. I glance over and wink at Holly while she stands next to Lanie, watching the show from the side of the stage. Lanie and Aubrey plan on taking turns coming to the shows since they’re moms now. They are built-in babysitters for each other since they are best friends. The arrangement works really well for them.

I wipe the sweat from my brow and take a quick chug of water while Noel talks to the crowd, amping them up for our most popular song.

Noel readjusts the guitar so it’s resting on his back and pulls the microphone off the stand. He waves to his wife just before he says his trademark line. “This song goes out to the girl who shredded my heart back in high school. It’s called Ball Busting Bitch, and Lanie, this one’s for you.”

I shake my head and laugh as I watch Holly’s amused expression. We love to give him shit about the fact that he still has to say the line, even thought things have been great between him and Lanie for a long time now.

I kick up the base drum and hammer out the signature beats. Sitting behind all the guys is like watching their performance from the best fucking seat in the house. Noel’s signature growl lights up the crowd, while Riff’s saucy guitar licks, along with mine and Tyke’s dirty beats, add sex appeal to the song.

It’s funny how life works out sometimes. I’ve been through hell and back when it comes to love to finally find my own little heaven on earth. If things could always be like this, life would be fucking perfect.

I stare at the back of my brother’s blond head, and sigh as I slam my drumstick into the high-hat, praying he wasn’t serious about leaving the band. Somehow, some way, I’m going to have to convince him to stay—he’s too fucking important. He’s the fucking glue that holds us together.

I twirl one of my sticks in the air during the last few lines of the song to hype-up the show, before pounding the shit out of the bass drum and symbols as the last note is sung.

“You’ve all been a hell of a fucking crowd. On behalf of Mountain Time Speed Track and Black Falcon, we want to thank you all for coming out tonight. We love you all and we’ll see you on the next trip!” Noel says, while pushing his sweat-drenched hair back from his face. “Good night, Tucson!”

I lay out five more timed beats and the lights cut off on the stage. The crowd of ten thousand people chants for the band to come back and play an encore, even after we finish throwing guitar picks and drumsticks out into the sea of people.

I step off stage and into Holly’s waiting arms. “Wow. You were amazing!”

I grin down at her and pull her tighter into my sweaty body. “Thanks. So now you know what I do for a living, you think you’ll be okay with it?”

She glances out into the crowd for a long moment before her gaze returns to me. “I’ll admit that this is a little insane, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love you. All these people just see you as a badass drummer. They don’t know the real you, just the idea of you. But I know you. I know this.” Holly places her hand over my heart. “I know it belongs to me, and I want you to know that this,” she takes my hand and places it on her chest, “belongs to you.”

“It’s yours. All of it. Always,” I tell her as I cradle her face in my hands.

“Then that’s all I’ll ever need,” Holly says before I crush my lips against hers and we fade into our always.

Rock the Beat Playlist:

It Will Rain—Bruno Mars Closer—Nine Inch Nails I Knew You Were Trouble—Taylor Swift Rude Boy—Rihanna

Good Girls, Bad Guys—Falling In Reverse I Wanna Be Bad—Willa Ford Love Crime—My Darkest Days I Said It—Nonpoint Bringing Down the Giant—Saving Able She Will Be Loved—Maroon 5

Gorilla—Bruno Mars Radioactive—Imagine Dragons Kiss Quick—Matt Nathanson Same Old Trip—Chevelle One More Lie—Aranda It Is What It Is—Lifehouse Light Up the Sky—Thousand Foot Krutch Between the Raindrops—Lifehouse/Natasha Bedingfeild

ROCK My Body

Black Falcon, #4

by Michelle A. Valentine

“Rage, rage against the dying of the light” – Dylan Thomas

Prologue

“Coming Down” – Five Finger Death Punch

––––––––

One Year Ago...

Tyke I nod my head to the beat, glad that, for once, we are in our element in playing to a sold-out crowd.

I’m not exactly sure where everything started falling apart. Wait...that’s a lie. I know exactly when my blissful happiness began to deteriorate. It was the day Riff brought a woman on our bus for a long-term stay. A woman who fucked everything up and started Black Falcon on our downward spiral.

One day things were great—every guy in the band practically floating on cloud nine and all that shit—but somehow in the midst of our happiness and living out our life-long dream, things turned to shit. Sophie, Riff’s temporary fuck-of-the-month, single handedly drove a wedge into our foundation and rocked our ship by claiming she one-nighted Noel and was knocked up by him. For a while, I wasn’t even sure if the band would make it, but we did, ironically, with the help of two women, Lanie Vance and Aubrey Jenson. They were all right chicks at first, but eventually became thorns in my side too. Noel and Riff are so lovesick; they can’t see that their constant need to “take a break” for “family time” is destroying us.

My twin brother, Trip, used to look at the situation like I do. He wasn’t happy about the disappearing acts that both Noel and Riff insisted on pulling all the damn time. That was until my baby brother took it upon himself to seek out other interests besides the band. He not only found a dirt bike track to invest his money into, he also found a chick to invest his time into. He had to go and fall for the fucking track owner’s daughter, Holly. After that, he had a change of heart, and started empathizing with my other bandmates.

Fucking pussies.

All of them.

Black Falcon might as well be a label-made band like those Embrace the Darkness douchebags who are always trying to upstage us and ride our coattails. Like them, we don’t really give a fuck about each other anymore. Seems like this band is nothing more than a paycheck, which is sad. When we all vibe well together, magic truly happens.

Trip pounds out the last few beats of the song and the crowd explodes, instantly begging for more.

This is what I love. There isn’t any other feeling like it in the world. Nothing can ever top this rush, but because our performances are so few and far between, I’ve been forced to find other things that really get my blood pumping.

When my eyes lock with my twin’s green ones, we both have the biggest grins on our face, I know he loves this, too—the euphoric energy from the crowd.

How can he not miss this?

How can he put anything above this? How can any of them?

Our band’s front man, Noel Falcon, chuckles into the mic as he stares out into the crowd. “Damn. You fuckers are insane. We’ve got one more song left for you.” He pauses, running his hand through his dark hair, giving the twenty thousand bodies here to see us perform time to respond, their screaming getting louder and louder. “I feel the love.” He readjusts his mic stand. “Since we’re all friends here, I’m gonna tell you all a little story about a girl who shredded my heart back in high school without any hesitation. It’s called ‘Ball Busting Bitch’. If you’ve ever had your heart fucked over by a woman, sing along.”

Noel smirks and the laughter in his eyes is evident. Ever since he married Lanie Vance, it’s pretty funny to see him keep up appearances with this song—even though he’s madly in love with that ball buster.

Trip kicks up the beat, and I thump away on the strings of my bass, creating our signature dark and dirty beat while we wait on Riff to join us, who makes the lead guitar scream like a woman in heat.

I close my eyes as the rhythm of our biggest hit pulses through my body. Music is the one thing I can completely lose myself in. When I’m in the moment, feeling the beat, I’m untouchable; nothing else matters but the way each note engulfs my soul, scorching itself onto me permanently, reminding me that music is what I live for. It’s what I was born to do.

I slide my fingers down the thick strings, finding the sweet spot, and slap them hard with the thumb on the opposite hand. My head rocks back and forth as I play the hell out of the song. I can’t remember a time that we’ve ever sounded better.

Surely, they’ll want to celebrate like old times after this show—the four of us together, cracking open a few cold ones and just being together.

That’s what I miss the most.

The final notes in the song play out, ending our forty-five minute set, and Noel shouts, “You’ve all been a fucking beautiful crowd. Thank you!”

As soon as my eyes snap open, they land on my brother, tossing his drumsticks into the crowd while Noel and Riff exit the stage. And just like that, the song disappears, taking my euphoria along with it, and the warmth I was just feeling is completely gone from my heart, replaced by an arctic chill.

What’s their big fucking hurry?

I set my bass down on the stand and follow Trip off the stage. The remnants of the crowd’s energy still linger in my veins, and I’m ready to burn it off and party with my buddies.

I throw my arm around my twin’s neck as we make our way backstage. “Where are we partying tonight, baby brother?”

Trip shakes his head and smiles as his eyes drift off like he’s thinking of something else. “Can’t, man. Holly just flew in, and she’s waiting for me at the hotel.”

I sigh and pull my arm away. “You suck. Can’t you see her after we go out for a while? I need my wingman.”

“Wish I could, but I can’t let my girl down. Besides, it’s been two weeks since I’ve seen her.” He gives me a quick jab to the ribs. “Stop frowning, Sunshine. We’ll do something soon. Promise.”

I roll my eyes. “That’s what you always say, but it never fucking happens. Just go the fuck back to your girl and forget about me.”

Trip’s brow furrows. “What the fuck’s with the attitude? Are you pissed that I’m happy.”

My lip rises as my face contorts with disgust. “No, I’m not pissed that you’re happy.”

“Then what the fuck is the problem? You’ve been nothing but a drunken asshole most of the time I’m around lately, so why in the hell do you even care that I want to spend some time with my girl? It’s obvious that you’re perfectly capable of partying on your own. You don’t need me for that.”

I blow out a rush of air through my nose. Starting a fight with him wasn’t my intention. But doesn’t he see what spending all his time with his woman is doing to the band?

Do any of them see?

Jesus, it’s like we have three fucking Yoko Onos, yet no one sees the problem here except me. These women are dictating the future of this band. It’s all going to fall apart, but it’s like all of them are too fucking pussy-whipped to see it happening right before their own eyes.

Noel and Riff walk over toward us, both wearing perplexed expressions.

“What are you two dipshits fighting over now?” Riff mocks. “Can’t you assholes just kiss and make up. The tension between you two lately has been fucking ridiculous. What’s up?”

Trip shakes his head. “Nothing’s wrong. My brother is just acting like a chick here, crying about how I never spend time with him anymore.”

I scrub my hand down my face, not wanting to waste any more of my time. “Fuck it. I’m out of here.”

I can’t get into this with them. None of them will ever see things like I do, so there’s no point in even trying to reason with them.

I turn toward the exit, and I hear the guys calling my name but don’t bother to turn around. If none of them care what happens to Black Falcon then why should I?

I’m done being the goddamn babysitter of the group: keeping everyone on task and writing eighty percent of the music. It’s time I start living my life and forget I give a fuck, too.

The pounding in my skull is relentless. Holy fuck. What in the hell did I get myself into last night? The last thing I remember is being at the club that Lou, one of the roadies, dragged me to. Everything else is fuzzy as shit.

I rub my eyes as I try to remember, but a loud buzz echoes around the room and keeps me from focusing on anything but the God-awful sound.

What the fuck?

I peel my eyes open and blink hard as my gaze lands first, on a brick wall, then, a small window with bars on it. I push myself up slowly, studying the unusual window as I try to get my bearings. After my eyes slide around every inch of the room and find nothing but bars surrounding me, blocking my freedom, my heart rate kicks up a notch, and the panic sets in.

How in the hell did I wind up in jail?

I push myself to my feet and wobble a split second before I regain my balance. Whatever I drank last night is still obviously in my system. My feet shuffle toward the bars, and I wrap my fingers around the cold steel. I strain my neck to look down the long hall, but all I hear is the sound of other prisoners talking. I need some answers.

I press my head against the bars. “Guards? Hey? Guards!”

Heavy footsteps fall down the concrete hallway, each step coming closer to the small cell I’m stuck in.

A gray-haired guard dressed in a dark blue uniform that’s a size too small wears a scowl on his plump face as he sets his stern eyes on me. “You need something?”

My shoulders stiffen, and I’m instantly riled by his tone, especially considering I don’t have the foggiest idea why I’m here. “Yeah. What in the hell am I in here for?”

The guard sighs heavily. “DUI. We picked you up last night on I-95 swerving all over the lanes.”

My shoulders slack and I push back from the bars but still hang on and drop my head. “Fuck. Does my brother know to come and get me?”

“Doubtful. You were too toasted to make your phone call last night. You kept fighting us off you, so we tossed you in here to sleep it off. You’re welcome to that call any time. Call anyone you’d like.”

I take a deep breath. When Trip finds out about this, he’s going to flip his shit. Usually, I’m the one thinking about how things like this will affect the band, not him—hell, not any of the others. Riff is known for giving out golden tickets to chicks who hang out backstage to sleep with him. Trip never gives two shits about anything, and Noel...well, he’s no angel either. Back in the day, me getting this DUI would’ve just been something we laughed off, but now that they’re all on the straight and narrow, I imagine they’ll give me the third degree over this.

But what choice do I have? Who else can I call?

After a long moment, I push away from the bars and look the guard in the eye. “I think I’ll make that call now.”

A few hours later, I’m finally at the front desk, gathering all the personal items I had on me when I was booked.

“One wallet, a set of keys, two hundred and fifteen dollars in cash, four guitar picks, a sheet of folded up paper, and one cell phone,” the middle-aged brunette clerk says as she hands me all the items. “Sign here and here, and you’ll be on your way.”

I scribble my name in the sections she’s marked and gather my things. Before I can even turn around, I feel Trip’s eyes, judging me.

I head toward the door, Trip close on my heels. Once we’re outside, my brother clears his throat. “I called the rental car company to come pick up their car from the impound lot. Kyle is waiting around the side with the Escalade to take us to the airport.”

I raise my eyebrows. “That’s it? No big lecture?”

Trip sighs. “What do you want me to say, Tyke? Do you really need me to tell you how much you fucked up? How bad this is going to look for the band? You know better than anyone this isn’t good fucking PR, so why voice it? As long as I can remember, you’ve been the stable one. I’m sure this isn’t going to happen again. You always do what’s best for the band. It was a one-time mistake. We all make them.”

“Glad to hear you actually still care about the band.”

Trip flinches. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? When have I ever not cared?”

I shake my head. “Come on, brother. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. No one has cared for a while now, including you. You guys spend all of your time with your women and leave all the work to me. I’m the one writing all the songs while Noel and Riff are off being husbands and fathers and you’re out there playing house. Do you think that’s fair? You guys get to fuck around and not give a shit about the future of this band?”

He licks the corner of his mouth as he huffs. “Fuck you, Tyke. Just because we settled down and found other interests, don’t think for one goddamn minute that we don’t care about the band anymore. Nothing with the band has changed. You’re the one who’s changed.”

Anger boils inside me. Is he really that blind? Can he not see how so much has changed in the year since Noel and Riff got married, and he got with Holly? I love my brother. I don’t want to lose him, but I’m not going to stand here attempting to make him see my side when I know it’s a lost cause. I’d be better off beating my head against a brick wall.

“You’re right, Trip. Things are most definitely different and are going to change even fucking more.”

Without another word, I turn on my heel and walk away from my baby brother. It’s not the best option, but it’s the only one I’ve got. Whatever it takes, I’m going show the rest of these guys that they’re letting this band die. And despite what they think, I’m the only one fighting to keep us together.

Chapter 1

“Evil Twin” – Arctic Monkeys Present Day

Tyke

Fuck.

I’ve done it again.

I turn my head and survey my surroundings. Four white hotel walls and a horrible painting of a man fishing in a pond are the first things that come into my hazy line of sight. The second thing is the blonde knocked out cold next to me, her tits hanging half out her shirt.

Damn. What in the hell did I do last night?

I squeeze my eyes shut while the pounding in my skull beats continuously. Raising my hand, desperate to pinch the bridge of my nose to ease the pain, my arm stops far short of my face. My gaze snaps down to my wrists, bound at my sides with a thin rope, and I yank my arm, attempting to move my feet as well without much luck.

What in the hell?

My heart thunders in my chest as my foggy brain quickly pulls together that someone has no intentions of allowing me to leave this bed. Panic rolls over me when I can’t recall whom I came here with, or even how I got here. As much as I hate to admit it, Trip was right—some chick has finally gone all Misery on my ass.

I survey the knot tied in the rope. It doesn’t look like it’ll be that difficult to loosen, if I can just figure out a way to get my hands on it. Twisting my wrist side to side, I attempt to wiggle out, but it’s no use. It’s tied too tight.

I shift beneath the sheet that’s draped over me, and realize I’m completely fucking naked.

Shit. Being naked and tied to a bed is never a good thing. This isn’t going to end well.

The bathroom door opens and I freeze, unsure of what the hell might be walking toward me. A slender brunette in a black mask with a great set of tits struts into the room wearing a tight leather outfit that wraps her body like a glove. As if the outfit wasn’t over-the-top enough, she’s also toting a black whip in her left hand, alongside an expression that screams she’s ready to inflict some major pain. I tense at the sight of her.

What in the holy fuck have I gotten myself into?

I yank my wrists, attempting to free myself, and the woman cusses at me in Spanish, clearly unhappy with my change of heart. “Hijo de puta!”

It only takes a split second for me to recognize the voice before I burst out laughing, instantly relaxing against the stark-white sheets. “Gabby, what the fuck?”

Her lip pokes out in a distinct pout as she pulls the mask off, revealing her smooth, tan complexion. Her big brown eyes complement her perfectly round face and button nose, reminding me of just how attractive she is. “Aww, come on, Tyke. I’m not done playing yet. Don’t you want to have some more fun with her? She was a good sport.”

The woman next to me continues to breathe softly, and while I’m positive that this woman provided great entertainment for Gabby and I last night, I can’t remember a damn thing about it.

There’s no time to try to remember it though, because the moment I sit up a little straighter, the sun’s harsh rays poke through the thick drapes, letting me know I’m already late. “Can’t. I have a band meeting at one.”

Gabby’s harsh laugh cuts across the room as her lithe fingers work at the knots in the rope. “Hate to break it to you, slick, but that ship has sailed. It’s nearly three.”

I sit up once I’m free and rub my wrists. “Fuck. The guys are going to be pissed. I’ve blown off the last three or four band meetings. Doing it again isn't going to sit well with them.”

Gabby sits at the small desk in the room and fixes a line on the mirror for herself before snorting it up her nose. “Fuck ’em. Those douchebags need to learn to fend for themselves.”

“Don’t, Gabby,” I warn, not liking her putting the guys down. It’s one thing for me to do it, but someone else baggin’ on them pisses me off. They’re my brothers.

I roll out of bed and grab my jeans off the floor, quickly yanking them up on my hips. There’s no sign of my underwear, but whatever; I’m not about to waste my time looking for them. I have to get the fuck out.

The blonde rolls over onto her back, and I freeze just as I pull my black T-shirt over my head. When she doesn’t wake, I turn to Gabby. “You taking care of this one?”

She nods and wipes her nose, but a small dusting of white powder still remains. “Yeah. I’ll check her phone for any pictures and videos and then call her a cab.”

I fasten my belt and then slip my feet into my boots. “Good. No more groupies with sex tapes of us. That shit didn’t go well last time.”

She laughs. “Speak for yourself. That fucking tape got my band noticed and put on tour with Black Falcon.”

I roll my eyes. “Just check her shit before she leaves. Trip and Noel will blow their fucking tops if I keep bringing the band down with negative publicity.”

This time she rolls her eyes at me. “Whatever. I forgot what a Debbie fucking Downer you are when you sober up. You want a bump before you go?”

My nose twitches in anticipation, and while I know I should say no, I can’t help myself. Gabby puts a small amount of coke between her index finger and thumb and raises her hand to me. “You know you want to.”

I pull her hand up to my face and quickly snort every last bit of nose candy; the white powder stinging as it coats the warm, moist skin inside my nasal passages, sending me on a near-instant high in the process.

I close my eyes as every nerve in me comes alive, making me forget why the fuck I felt so anxious a few moments ago. I lean against the desk next to Gabby and she looks up at me and smiles, nodding over to the chick still sleeping in the king-size bed. “You wanna play?”

Gabby runs her hand down my torso, my toned abs flexing beneath my shirt in response to her touch. She pauses at my belt and yanks it open before allowing the tips of her fingers to rub against the growing erection inside my jeans.

A wicked grin crosses her face as she licks her lips. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Unable to resist her, I give in and grab the nape of her neck, pulling her a little more roughly than I mean to out of the chair. I yank her slender body flush with mine. “Why the fuck do I let you do this? You’re no good for me.”

She bats her long lashes at me, attempting to look innocent. “Because you like getting crazy. Because you were bored out of your fucking skull until I came around. Because, deep down inside, you’re tired of being the scapegoat for the other guys in Black Falcon, and you’re done being their bitch.”

I flinch at her cold words. “Fuck you, Gabby. I’m no one’s bitch.”

“Except mine,” she purrs.

I shove her away. “Especially not yours.”

I refasten my belt as I turn and head for the door.

“Tyke...”

I don’t bother turning around. Good time or not, there’s no way in hell I’m going to be talked down to by a chick I’ve known for three months.

Who the fuck does she think she is?

If it weren’t for a groupie catching me drunk fucking Gabby after a show and blasting it all over the web, she and her band, Sex Arsenal, would still be playing small dive bar gigs with a weak-ass following. Now that bitch has the nerve to insinuate I’m a pussy? Fuck her.

I don’t need her. There are plenty of other people to party with. Her pussy isn’t made out of gold, and I damn sure never made a fucking commitment to her.

She’s a chick I like to get high with and fuck—that’s it. Nothing more. She better not have it in her head that we are more than that.

Jesus.

When the elevator opens up to the lobby, the full effect of the afternoon sun begins to assault my eyes and I flinch, fishing my sunglasses from my pocket and slipping them on my face. The moment I’m outside I pat my pockets, hoping to find some car keys, but I have no such luck. I obviously didn’t drive myself over here last night. Actually, I have no fucking clue where in the hell I am. Reaching into my back pocket, I whip out my phone and use the GPS feature on it.

Orlando.

Thank God I’m still in the right city. We play the Amway Center tonight to a sold out crowd. At least I know I can still make it there on time.

The young valet approaches me with a pen and paper in hand. The small cluster of pimples on his forehead does nothing to conceal his youth, and the eager smile on his face tells me one thing: he’s a fan.

“Excuse me? I hate to bother you, but you’re in Black Falcon, aren’t you?” he asks in a voice that’s just above a timid whisper.

I shove my glasses a little further up my nose. “Yep. Sure am.”

He stretches his arms toward me. “Can I have your autograph?”

I take the pen and small notepad from him. “Sure, kid. Can you get me a cab?”

He nods vigorously as he takes back the signed paper. “No problem!”

While he scurries off, I check the messages on my phone.

Trip: Where the fuck are you?

Trip: Goddamn it. This shit is getting old. It’s not cool to take off and not tell anyone where you are. I need to talk to you.

Trip: ?????

The final text catches my attention.

Trip: I hope you at least show up tonight.

My brow furrows at that comment. I’ve only ever missed a couple shows, and I felt like a total piece of shit for doing it. I hadn’t realized we had a few early shows and may have been sleeping off the previous night’s activities. It wasn’t like I missed them on purpose, and yet that’s all Trip ever seems to remember lately. He’s conveniently forgotten all the times I’ve saved their asses. I fuck up and I never get to live it down.

I fire back a text telling him I’ll be there and slip my phone back in my pocket, just in time to hop in the cab that’s pulled up.

The ride over to the arena is pretty quick, which sucks. It used to excite me to spend time with my boys, but now I fucking dread it. None of us are on the same page anymore. Everyone is going in different directions, and our communication is shit.

Pulling up to the arena, I text Kyle to meet me out back and get me in through the crowd that’s already building. I don’t have a scrap of proof that I’m with the band and security can be real dicks if you don’t have a pass.

“How much longer?” the cabbie asks after five minutes of me refusing to get out until I see Kyle.

“Chill, dude. I’m good for it. Trust me.” He glances at me through the rearview mirror, and I can tell he’s having some serious doubts about whether I can pay the fare.

I glance down at my wrinkled clothes and the tats that cover most of my arms. Granted, I don’t exactly give off the best first impression right now, but damn, I hate it when people are judgmental.

Shrill screams from a group of fans surrounding the back gate catch my attention in time to see Kyle pass through the crowd alone. I dig my wallet out from my back pocket and pay the fare, along with a generous tip, before letting myself out of the cab.

Fans swarm around me, practically shoving pens and pieces of paper in front of my face begging for autographs, while dozens of flashes go off simultaneously. Kyle does his best to part the way for me as we push through to the gate.

Once inside, locked away from the fans, Kyle turns to me and hands me a backstage pass. “Where the hell were you? The guys are pissed.”

I pull the lanyard over my head, adjust my sunglasses on my nose, and shrug. “What’s new? They’re always pissed at me for one reason or another lately. They’ll get over me missing the stupid meeting. They never talk about anything other than scheduling more time off. It’s not like my vote ever gets taken into consideration anyhow.”

Kyle opens the door to the arena and motions me in. “I think they notice you being absent from more things than you realize.”

“Doubtful.”

I follow him through the maze of roadies, instruments, and stage props until my brother and the other guys come into view. The three of them stand there, talking quietly amongst themselves, until Riff glances up and notices me walking in their direction. He throws a swift elbow at Noel and nods toward me.

A strange vibe washes over me, and I can tell by the expressions on their faces that none of them are too happy with me right now.

Trip turns to look at me, contempt written all over his face. “Nice of you to grace us with your presence, asshole. Where were you?”

The sunglasses still covering my face shield the dramatic eye roll I’m giving him. “I was with Gabby.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “I thought you said you were done with that shit?”

“Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but I’m not using again.”

I hope Trip doesn’t see through the lie and figure out I’ve been dabbling a little on the white horse. I don’t need the headache that comes from dealing with him. Besides, I don’t have to report what I’m doing to him.

A harsh laugh rolls out of Trip’s mouth. “I suppose you just enjoy her fucking company. Come on, man, this is me you’re talking to. Your identical twin. Girls like Gabby Rodriguez are fast and easy; not exactly dating material. So don’t try and bullshit this bullshitter—I know the kind of shit you do when you’re with her.”

The condescending tone in his voice makes my blood boil. I don’t see where he gets off. He’s not our fucking father. I can do what I want, when I want. “Since when does what I do and with who affect you?” I swing my gaze to Noel and Riff, who are both watching our exchange intently. It’s time I let them all know how I feel. “Since when does my business affect any of you? All of you have your own fucking things going on. What does it matter if I’m out having a good time?”

Riff narrows his eyes. “It fucking matters when you miss important shit because you’re too high to remember your goddamn priorities. That’s the sixth band meeting you’ve blown off. Do you even know what the fuck is going on with the new album?”

I stare at him, the expression on my face blank. “What the fuck are you talking about? There’s absolutely nothing going on with the new album because I haven’t finished any of the fucking songs for it yet.”

“Jesus, fuck, he’s out of it now,” Riff says as he shakes his head. “Do you even know what day of the week it is?”

I hesitate and swallow hard. I start to reach for my phone to check the date because, honestly, I don’t have a fucking clue, but I stop short because doing that would just prove Riff right.

Riff shakes his head and turns to Noel with raised eyebrows. “I told you he didn’t have a fucking clue. He’s bad for business.”

I flinch. “When have I ever been bad for business? I’m the glue that holds this piece of shit band together.”

“Not anymore,” Riff replies coolly.

I shake my head, not missing the disgust in Riff’s eyes. It’s a look I remember all too well. It’s the same one he had a couple of years ago when Noel struggled with his addiction. The same look he had when he wanted us to boot Noel from the band.

I narrow my eyes at my childhood friend. “You got something to say to me, Riff, just go ahead and fucking say it.”

Riff looks from Noel to Trip and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard and then lifts his chin. “You’re out, Tyke.”

My eyes widen as every muscle inside me tenses. “What?!”

“You. Are. Out. You’ve become a liability. Noel knows it, and so does your brother. You need help. We won’t stand by and watch you destroy yourself and drag this band down with you.”

Rage rolls through every inch of me. “You’re kicking me out? I fucking started this band. You can’t kick me out.”

Trip lays his hand on my shoulder. “Tyke—”

I shrug away from his touch. “Fuck you, Trip. Don’t fucking touch me!” I level my heated gaze on the other two guys. “Fuck all of you!”

I take a couple steps back while my mouth hangs agape. I can’t fucking believe this. They’re giving me the boot, just like that? No chance to explain myself? Just out—like I’m a piece of fucking trash they can’t wait to get rid of.

Fine.

Fucking Fine.

They’ll see.

They need me.

They’ll get over it.

I storm out of the arena, needing time to clear my head and figure this shit out, but before I get through the door, Kyle stops me. “Where you off to?”

“Hotel,” is all I can manage to say.

The thick cords of muscle work beneath Kyle’s skin as he pulls a set of keys out of his pocket. “Come on, I’ll drive you over.”

I follow our bodyguard to the Escalade. Kyle uses the key fob to unlock the SUV, and we both hop inside.

As I pull the heavy door closed behind me, I reconsider leaving. I should go back in there and hammer things out with the guys now. After all, I don’t want tonight’s show to be tense. But my head’s still a little foggy from the coke I snorted, and I know I won’t be able to speak to them rationally about this until I’ve had time to calm down.

I scrub my hand over my face. Tension in the band always fucking sucks—it’s even worse to be the cause of it. They blame me for it, I know, but they don’t see that all this shit started with them not caring enough. Not being committed enough. Not living for the band like they used to.

“Wanna talk about it?” Kyle asks, killing the silence that has allowed me to go deeper into my own thoughts.

I sigh. “What’s there to talk about? The guys just kicked me out. They’re pissed, I get it, but it won’t last. We never stay mad at each other. We’re brothers.”

Kyle adjusts in his seat as he stares out at the road ahead. “That would be great. Things were going so good for a while, and I hate that there’s this underlying tension between you guys. It makes things uncomfortable for us all when you guys aren’t getting along.”

“Come on, Kyle. Things haven’t been that bad. We’ve been through far worse.”

He sighs. “If you say so. I would just hate to see this great thing you all have going fall apart.”

“We’re not going to fall apart,” I say with a slight huff.

We’re quiet for the rest of the ride. I don’t really feel like rehashing band issues with Kyle when I’m not even sure what in the hell is going on myself. After I spend a few hours sleeping and getting my head clear in my hotel room, I take a long hard look at myself in the bathroom mirror. My sandy-blond hair is a bit shaggy, a far cry from the short buzz cut I used to sport. Lately, I haven’t really felt the need to be so clean-cut. The green of my eyes looks a little dingy, a little lifeless, but that’s not completely my fault. Anyone in my shoes who’s losing everything they’ve ever worked for would look the same way.

I rake my hair back with both hands and sigh. We just have to get back on track. I’ll go to the guys and promise to stay sober, as long as they agree to start taking this band more serious. What we need is a heart-to-heart, as brothers. We need to squash this beef between us so that we can get back to doing what we do best—making great music.

I grab my backstage pass and slide it around my neck and slip out the door. I call a cab to take me back to the arena. It’s time to get this shit back on track.

With a clear head, I set out to have a discussion with the guys about us all changing our ways, mending what the last few years have broken.

The cabbie drops me off near the back gate of the arena and with the help of my pass, I have no problem slipping into the backstage area on my own.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time. It’s nearly nine, the time we are scheduled to take the stage after Gabby’s band, Sex Arsenal, opens for us. A few of the roadies nod at me as I pass by them on the way to the stage.

One roadie I’ve been partying with quite a bit lately, Lou, stops in front of me the moment he recognizes me. “Tyke? What are you doing here, man?”

My brow furrows instantly. “Why wouldn’t I be here?”

Lou’s mouth opens like he wants to say something, but he quickly closes it and shakes his head. “You’re right. Forget I said anything.”

I clap him on the back as I pass by. “All right. Catch you later.”

I shove my hands deep into my pockets as I keep pushing forward, thinking about how odd Lou’s reaction to seeing me was. I mean, why wouldn’t I be here? We have a fucking show to do. He’s obviously been smokin’ something.

The rumble of Gabby’s voice blasts through the arena. “You guys have been an awesome fucking crowd! Thanks for coming out early to hear our set. I need beer money, so make sure you pick up our newest record and buy a goddamn T-shirt out front.” There’s a roar of support from the fans. “Give it up for Black Falcon! They’re about to come out and rock your faces off. You assholes will love that shit! We are Sex Arsenal! Goodnight!”

After a couple thumps on the bass drum, the only noise left is the hum of the buzzing crowd. It won’t be long until we take the stage, so this little talk with the boys will have to wait until our set is over.

I begin tapping out the beat to “Ball Busting Bitch” with my thumbs which are still wedged in my pockets. Even though that’s one song I didn’t write, I still love it. It’s the song that put us over the top, and I’ll be forever grateful to it for our success.

I nod my head to the melody repeating in my brain, but the moment I round the corner and my gaze falls on the guys with Sergio Alvarez from Embrace the Darkness, the song drops out of my mind.

What the ever-lovin’ fuck? We hate those douchebags. Since when did we decide to get fucking chummy with their bass player? I don’t know the guy personally, but if he’s in Embrace the Darkness, then he’s got to be just as big of an asshole as Donovan and Striker.

I lift my chin and head straight for them, determined to get to the bottom of this.

Noel elbows Riff, who is busy explaining chords of some sort to Sergio while Trip looks on with a frown on his face. After Noel spots me, he nods to Trip who finally notices me, too. I hate this tension between us. I’ll be glad when we squash all this later tonight and shit finally gets back to normal.

“What’s up, guys?” I meet each one of their stares a little longer than necessary, but I’m trying to get a read on the situation.

“Sergio.” Even I can hear the tension in my voice as I greet him with uncertainty, trying to figure out why he’s here, since his band isn’t on this tour with us.

Sergio’s mouth twists as his eyebrows shoot up like he’s surprised to see me. He looks to Riff, who only shrugs at him, before he says, “I’ll give you guys a minute.”

Sergio rotates the strap on his shoulder, sliding his bass onto his back before walking away. I turn back to the guys and Noel runs his hand through his hair while Riff pinches the bridge of his nose, drawing my attention to his crazy Mohawk. I know these moves; both of them revert to their nervous tics when they are frustrated and don’t know how to handle it. I swing my gaze over to my brother, who grabs the bill of his baseball cap and adjusts it so it’s covering most of his jet-black hair.

I fold my arms over my chest. “All right, fucking out with it. What aren’t you telling me?”

Trip puffs his cheeks and blows a rush of air out through pursed lips. “We just didn’t expect you to show up, that’s all.”

I scrunch my brow. “Where else would I be? We have a show—of course I’m going to be here.”

My twin licks his lips carefully and then swallows. “The thing is, Tyke, we thought we were pretty clear earlier—”

I don’t even give him a chance to finish. “You mean about throwing me out of the band?” I wave him off dismissively. “You guys were pissed, and I get why you said it, but we can sort all that out after the show. I’ve already forgiven you guys.”

They exchange expressions bordering on surprise and sadness.

“Look, Tyke, we—”

My brother throws a hand out to stop Riff from saying anything else.

“Let me,” Trip says, turning to me. “Tyke, we love you, man, but you need help. I know you believe you have a handle on all this partying you’re doing, that you’re in complete control, but the truth is you don’t, and you aren’t. I’m not sure what’s going on with you because you won’t talk to me—or any of us—but whatever it is, you need to figure it out.”

I don’t know whether to be excited that we’ve finally come to a point where a discussion about this band and my issues with what’s happened to it is finally going to happen, or to get pissed that my own brother can’t tell that I don’t have addiction issues. I’m in complete fucking control.

“I’m so glad that you’ve finally seen there’s a huge problem with the dynamics of the band and are ready to fix them. After we play tonight, I’d love to sit down and talk about adding more dates to the tour.”

“No, Tyke.” Trip shakes his head. “We’ve tried talking with you before, and no matter what we say to you, I know you aren’t going to stop partying.”

I roll my eyes. “I can stop any time I want. I just choose not to. I don’t see what that has to do with the band.”

“We can’t have you with us while you’re using,” Noel chimes in. “I know more than anyone how easy it is to get out of control. If it weren’t for you guys being by my side while I went to rehab—”

“Jesus Christ, are you fucking serious? Rehab? I don’t need fucking rehab.” Just where in the fuck do they get off? I’ve never been as bad as Noel was. Okay, so maybe I missed a few shows where he never did when he was using, but it was only a few times.

I scrub my hands down my face. This is so fucking stupid, but I know they won’t let me get out of rehab if they’ve made up their minds that I need treatment, so I might as well give in and get this over with.

“Fine. You want me to go to rehab? I’ll go as soon as we wrap up the tour.”

Trip takes a step toward me and starts to put his hand on my shoulder but hesitates, then shoves it back into his pocket. “You can’t wait until after the tour, Tyke.”

“Of course I can.”

He shakes his head. “No, you can’t. You can’t resist Gabby, and she’s on the rest of the tour with us. We think it’s best if you went now.”

“Now?” I question. “But, who will—” I stop myself because I don’t even need to ask the question. I’ve already figured out the answer. “You assholes already replaced me? Before I get a fucking say? Sergio Alvarez? You’ve got to kidding me. He couldn’t hold a fucking candle to me on his best day.”

“Come on, man. Don’t be a dick,” Riff says. “Sergio’s a good dude.”

I lick the corner of my mouth. “A good dude, huh?”

Just because someone’s a nice person, it doesn’t mean they’ll work in the band. These assholes will find out soon enough that I’m not replaceable. Hell, I’m going to teach them a lesson. Leave them high and dry, not giving them the satisfaction of kicking me out.

“You know what? You don’t have to worry about me anymore because I fucking quit. Have fun keeping this piece of shit band together without me because none of you will put in the work like I do.”

I turn and head away from them, listening for them to call my name and beg me to stay and work things out, but it never comes. I sigh and shake my head. Before long, they’ll be begging for me to come back. It’s only a matter of time.

The rest of the night is a hazy blur...

Going to a bar downtown with Lou...

Music...

Women...

Lots of women...

An assortment of pills...

A bottle of Jim Beam...

Getting behind the wheel of the Escalade I borrowed from Kyle. Driving down the road, drinking straight from the bottle, wondering how my life got so fucked up. Feeling lost. Unwanted, and unloved.

Seeing a concrete wall blocking a housing development and thinking it would be better if I weren’t around anymore. After all, who would fucking miss me?

The last thing I remember is mashing the gas pedal to the floor.

Unlatching my seatbelt...

Then...nothing.

Chapter 2

“Mad World” –Gary Jules

FRANCINE

People say there can be no light without darkness. It’s a nice quote and all, but I’m convinced it’s just a load of shit people love to hang onto so they feel better. There’s been more darkness in my life than I care to admit, but light? There’s been no trace of that in a long time.

I watch silently as fat raindrops pound against the window of the train. This—starting over—is a good thing, and has been my main goal since I started my journey to straighten myself up. I’ve already completed the first two phases of my plan: admitting I had a problem, and taking a stand to overcome it while getting my degree in psychology. Now I’m moving on to the third stage: helping others conquer their personal struggles, too.

It’s my new mission.

“Excuse me?”

My eyes drift away from the window to the man standing in the aisle next to me, wearing what I assume to be a very expensive tailored suit. He’s clean-shaven; his dark hair is neatly styled. Stunning blue eyes and a perfectly white smile complete this alluring package before me.

If I were still the old me, I would give him my best flirty smile and, despite the gold band on his left hand, I would’ve invited him to sit down. But I’m trying hard to forget that woman. Absurdly handsome men who never really gave a damn about me are my biggest weakness—a weakness I’m desperate to break away from. Messing around with unavailable men with no hint of remorse was how I knew I had problems: hurting people in order to get my fix is something I did for years. The thought alone is shaming. It got to the point where sex was no longer just a physical escape, but an addiction, too. Like I would die if I didn’t have it.

I blink a couple of times, bringing myself out of my thoughts while I do my best to repress my inner flirt. I notice the man’s still standing there wearing a mischievous grin. “Yes?”

The stranger’s grin widens. “Is this seat taken?”

I lick my lips and swallow hard as the temptation to invite him to snuggle now and fuck later in the bathroom crosses my mind. But as I’ve learned through my own psychological studies on resisting temptation, no matter how hard it may seem at the time, it’s far better than dealing with the fallout of giving in.

I set my purse in the seat. “It is.”

The man frowns and takes one last look at my long legs and voluptuous chest before he nods and continues down the aisle to find a seat.

As soon as he’s out of sight, I breathe a sigh of relief and allow my head to fall back against the seat. Annie would’ve been proud, although she wouldn’t have approved of how I was living my life to begin with. If she would’ve been there, things might not have gotten so out of control in the first place.

The train begins pulling away from the station, and I pull out my phone, flipping through my pictures until I find one of her. My fingers press against the screen as I trace the features of her beautiful face. As identical twins, people always said we looked alike, but other than that, there weren’t many similarities between us.

Annie was so vibrant; her blue eyes were always so alive with wonder and hope, while mine were dull, filled with dread and despair. She was so optimistic about life, while I was the queen of pessimism. Physically, our bodies were identical—long legs with hour-glass figures like our mother, blue eyes like our father—but our spirits were polar opposites, so I never got why people lumped us together as the same person.

“I miss you,” I whisper only loud enough for me to hear, before I kiss my two fingers and press it to her smile.

I quickly lock the screen and stuff my phone back into my purse, picking up the pamphlet for the posh facility I’ll be working at. Serenity Hills: Recovery for the Mind, Body, and Soul. When I interviewed last month, the director of the place, Dr. Wayne Shepherd, had gotten me excited to be involved with their program and their mission of helping individuals become the absolute best person they can be.

After nearly eight hours, the train slows as it approaches Cincinnati, the nearest town to Serenity Hills, I begin gathering my belongings and stuffing the books and pamphlets I’d been reading into my handbag. The man who approached me earlier on the train stands and turns toward me, offering a final wink in my direction before heading out of the car. He’s leaving the door open if I wanted to follow him, I guess.

I take a deep breath and stand, straightening my shoulders and tilting my chin up as I walk in the opposite direction of the handsome man. Every day that I fight against giving into my addiction, it becomes a little easier to walk away from temptation.

Once off the train, I search around in the crowd for my ride. It doesn’t take me long to spot the doctor who interviewed me. He’s just as I remembered him; tall, broad-shouldered, with neatly trimmed graying-hair and an athletic build—probably from running. Dr. Shepherd has that whole “distinguished” thing happening, and it totally works for him.

Dr. Shepherd smiles as his gaze locks on mine. He extends his hand in greeting as I approach him, and I set my bag down to shake his hand. “It’s good to see you again, Dr. Shepherd.”

“Wayne, please, Ms. Mead.” His smile is sincere.

“In that case, you can call me Frannie.” I want to roll my eyes at myself for sounding so much like a lame-o.

Wayne picks up my bag and ushers me toward the parking lot. “Did you have a good trip? I must say picking someone up from the train station is a first for me. Most people travel by plane or car these days.”

I shrug, not wanting to reveal my issue with flying just yet, so I give the best excuse I can come up with. “I prefer it. It’s relaxing and flying isn’t that much shorter in the long run.”

Wayne nods as he leads me to a black Mercedes. “I can appreciate a woman who knows what she likes and doesn’t. Flying is overrated, I suppose, with its cramped seats and germ-filled cabins.” The amused tone in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed, and I smile, glad that he’s accepted my rationale so easily.

Once Wayne places my bag in the trunk, he escorts me to the passenger side where he proceeds to open my door and help me inside. As I watch him walk around the car, I notice how attractive he is, even though I know he’s quite a bit older than my twenty-eight years. I can already tell working alongside him and keeping things completely platonic might prove difficult if he decides to make a move on me, but I’m determined not to sleep with anyone I work with. I’m confident I can keep things strictly business. I have to. My professionalism means the world to me, and I can’t allow my demons to influence me and cause problems with this new career that I so desperately want. It will be a challenge, but at least Wayne is a far cry from my normal type—irresistible tattooed, bad-boy man-candy. I just need to keep my distance from him, and any other man who may pose a threat to my newfound vow of celibacy.

It’s about an hour drive through the hills of Kentucky before we come to the entrance of Serenity Hills, tucked among a thick line of trees that hide the rest of the property from sight. We turn down the paved drive and wind our way up the gentle slope and through the woods.

The large white Victorian-style home with a wraparound porch that’s featured on the cover of the brochure comes into view. Wayne told me how beautiful this place was when he interviewed me in my hometown of Chicago, but I never expected this. It’s peaceful and serene—the perfect place for people to relax and recover from whatever demons they’re struggling with away from the harsh realities of the real world.

“It’s breathtaking, isn’t it?” Wayne takes the words right out of my mouth.

“It is,” I agree. “I can’t believe I’ll be staying here.”

“Actually...” Wayne pulls around the circular driveway and then continues to drive around to the back of the house, where a series of tiny white cottages sit spread out about fifty yards from the main house. “You and the rest of the staff get your own cottages. They’re fully equipped—sort of like an efficiency apartment. They’re quite nice.”

I like the idea of having my own space to be alone with my thoughts and just read. I do have one lingering question, though. “What about our clients? Where will they be staying?”

He parks the car and cuts the ignition. “The clients stay in the main house, where myself and our head nurse, Timothy, will be as well. We like to keep our eyes on them, and Timothy is quite strong, which comes in handy if a client gets out of hand.”

“It’s good that you have him.”

“It is, but I want to assure you we take staff and client safety very seriously here at Serenity, and have never had an issue with any of our clients behaving in a violent manner. Most are affluent members of society—some are even celebrities.”

I raise my eyebrows. Celebrities? I thought the secluded surroundings were just to provide a tranquil atmosphere, but now it makes sense. The lush greenery also helps keep the prying eyes of the paparazzi out. I wasn’t even allowed to know the location of the treatment center until I formally accepted the position. The physical address was never listed on any of the informational paperwork I received. “Do many celebrities come here?”

Wayne pauses for a moment and then nods his head. “From time to time.”

“Do they receive any special privileges?”

“No. They are treated just like everyone else. We hold group sessions as well as some private ones to maintain a level of privacy for all our clients. Some of the issues they may need our help working through are very private, so we don’t begrudge them, or anyone else, of that confidentiality. We don’t want to hinder their recovery process.”

I nod. “That’s understandable.”

Wayne smiles, his perfectly white teeth on full display. “I think you’ll fit in nicely here, Ms. Mead.”

“Frannie, please, I insist, and thank you for that vote of confidence. I’m really excited to be a part of the team here. I’m ready to help make an impact on people’s lives.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Frannie.”

After Wayne helps me from the car and collects my bag from the trunk, I follow him down the cobblestone path toward one of the cottages. Fresh spring flowers line the walkway, and I inhale deeply taking in their floral scent along with the crisp air. I’ve never been one to covet country living, but I can see how living among beauty like this would be appealing to some.

The closer we get to the cottage, I notice how close it is to a beautiful, lush garden. A huge fountain sits in the middle, water spilling from a female statue’s bucket. Four benches surround it, each spaced equally apart. It’s breathtaking—like something that belongs in some grand park somewhere for the masses to enjoy, instead of just a few select individuals.

Wayne steps up onto the small concrete stoop of the cottage and watches as I study the garden intently. “I thought you’d enjoy that. I chose this cottage for you since it was right next door to it.”

“It’s wonderful,” I gush.

Wayne smiles, clearly pleased that I’m so ecstatic about his choice. “If you like that, wait until you have a look inside.”

Curious as to what could be any better than this, I follow him inside, and my breath immediately catches. This small little house must have been a decorator’s wet dream to design. Everything in the places exudes softness and serenity, down to its overstuffed cream colored couch and bedding, both with soft teal accents. It’s very fitting considering the name of this facility.

I resist the urge to jump on the bed and test its softness in front of Wayne, choosing instead to walk around the room. A small kitchen area sits along the back wall, and a couch with an entertainment area separates the living room from the bedroom. I push open one of the doors next to the bed to reveal a decent size walk-in closet, and the second door hides the full bathroom complete with claw-foot tub.

I think I’ve died and gone to my own personal heaven.

Wayne clears his throat behind me, and I turn to find him holding out a key. “Dinner is served promptly at seven in the main house, and I would be delighted to show you around the grounds afterwards—while we still have plenty of light.”

I pinch the small piece of metal between my fingers, delighted. “That would be great. Thank you.”

A huge smile overtakes Wayne’s face, even reaching his dark brown eyes. “I’ll leave you to unpack. See you at seven.”

The moment the door shuts behind him, I do the thing I’ve been itching to do since I walked in—I run and jump on the bed, immediately sinking into the thick down comforter.

I shove my loose strands of brown hair out of my face and sigh. “What a start to a new life.”

Two years ago, I would never have seen myself here, in this moment. Especially with both a degree and a job that I’m excited about. Annie would be proud; I know it.

After unpacking all my things, I glance up at the clock that’s hanging on the wall. It’s only a little after six, so I still have some time to poke around the place before dinner. I move to grab my purse but decide to tuck it into the closet for safe keeping instead. Since there’s not a pocket to be found anywhere on the sundress I’m wearing, I slip the key into my bra for safekeeping.

I step out on the small stoop and take care to lock my door carefully behind me before continuing up the stone path toward the main house. The silence of the natural surroundings is only disturbed when birds chirp in a gleeful chorus. I can’t remember the last time I was, or even if I ever have been, in a place so away from civilization that there’s absolutely no intrusion on the sounds of nature, but it’s delightful.

When I finally make it to the house, I step up onto the back porch. Its grand two-story pillars really give a regal appeal to the place. As I turn to walk to the front of the house, a door behind me opens.

A petite blonde, wearing a white skirt and pale yellow polo shirt, comes bouncing out the door with earbuds in her ears, humming along to a song on the radio.

The moment she spots me, she yanks the cord on her earbuds, popping them out, and grins. “You must be Dr. Mead. I’m Kimmy, the housekeeper. It’s so nice to finally have another woman on the staff around here.”

I extend a hand out to her. “Please, call me Frannie.”

“Oh my gracious, that’s an adorable name,” she says, and her heavy country accent makes me smile. “Well, Frannie, I hope you like your cottage. Dr. Shepherd allowed me to decorate it for you.”

“Wow, I’m impressed. I love the design of the place. Did you put the entire color scheme together?”

Kimmy nods enthusiastically. “I did. It’s my dream to be an interior decorator one day. I’ve been taking some online classes because there are no schools close by that specialize in that. I can’t afford to make the drive every day to one of the bigger cities, and I for damn sure can’t afford to live there, so online will have to do until I can save enough money to move.”

I study the young woman. She can’t be more than twenty, and yet, she clearly knows what she wants to do with her life and is already on a serious path to getting it. I’m envious of her, wishing I’d had her drive at that age.

“That sounds like a terrific plan.” I strain my neck to peek around the side of the house. “Which is the best way to get into the house? The back?”

Kimmy stuffs her phone and earbuds into the pocket of her skirt. “Come on, I’ll show you around. I bet you’re pretty anxious to meet everyone and get settled.”

“That would be lovely.” I follow her back through the door she just came out of, and we enter into a large library.

The grand ambiance that encircles the outside of the place doesn’t shy away from the inside one bit. Large wooden bookcases stretch along the back wall from floor to ceiling; every spare inch of the shelves filled with books. I take a deep breath and give myself another pep talk about maintaining my professionalism and not going absolutely gah-gah in front of this young woman. She might not understand my obsession with the written word.

Kimmy catches me staring and laughs. “It’s a lot of books, right? I’d never seen so many in all my life—not even in the libraries I’ve been in. Our towns around here can’t afford anything so extreme. We’re lucky to have three bookcases for the whole place—for every kind of book.”

“That’s a shame,” I tsk. “There’s nothing like getting lost in a fantastic story. No one on earth should be deprived of that.”

“I agree.” Wayne’s smooth voice coats the room, jerking my attention to him. “Sorry, ladies, I didn’t mean to intrude, but I was passing by and overheard your last statement, and I couldn’t help but get excited right along with you. It’s a shame that small towns like this get deprived of a decent library.” Wayne turns to direct his attention to Kimmy. “Since I’ve caught you, do you mind preparing a room in the men’s wing? I’ve just received an urgent request for program enrollment, and our new client will be arriving tomorrow.”

She folds her hands in front of her and nods, almost giving off the impression of a slight curtsy, saying, “Right away, Dr. Shepherd,” before she hustles out of the room.

I stare after her, and Wayne catches my attention when he speaks. “Bright girl.”

“She is,” I quickly agree.

“You don’t find many employees like her nowadays; smart, kind, and obedient. She follows every rule I set here to a ‘T.’”

My mind drifts back to all the previous jobs I’ve held and how many times I’d screwed off—cutting corners and sneaking time off when I could. I was definitely not the model employee that Kimmy appears to be. Wayne’s probably right. Finding someone like her is very much like finding a diamond in the rough.

“I trust you found your living quarters agreeable?” Wayne walks over to the bookcase and rearranges a couple of books on the shelf, like he couldn’t stand them being out of order. “If you have any additional requirements, please let Kimmy know. She can arrange to get anything you may need.”

“Really, Wayne, everything is perfect,” I reassure him.

He turns to me and extends his elbow to me, reminding me of an old movie, where the classic hero, dressed in a perfectly tailored suit, escorts the heroine around. I’ve always been infatuated with the idea of finding a classy man like that.

I hook my arm in his and allow him to lead me through the door of the library into the main hall of the house. Deep mahogany wood covers the floor, while the crisp white walls lighten the entire space. Black and white portraits of different people are spaced evenly apart and one photo of a young woman with long dark hair catches my attention. Although I can’t see her face, the sag in her shoulders and the slight tilt of her head as she stares at a vacant field tells me she’s unbelievably sad.

“That’s one of my favorites. There’s just something about her body language that draws me in and makes me wonder what she’s thinking.”

I nod in agreement. “Yes.”

“I believe hanging photos that represent the possible feelings of our clients shows them that they aren’t alone—that everyone feels sad from time to time. You’ll find that we have them all over the main house.”

From there, Wayne continues the tour through the front parlor and then on to the kitchen, where a heavy-set woman with a deep tan and dark hair pulled up under a hairnet is buzzing around. Her tiny button nose compliments her dark brown eyes which are currently fixed on the cake she’s decorating. With a few swift motions of her hand, she creates a tiny red rose and then attaches it to the cake.

“That’s amazing. I’ve always wanted to do that,” I say.

The woman glances up and smiles. “Thank you. My mother taught me.”

“Dr. Mead, this is Sue, our head chef here at Serenity, and the best baker I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting,” Wayne introduces us.

I release my arm from Wayne’s and begin to extend it toward her, but remember that she’s cooking and think better of it. “It’s nice to meet you, Sue.”

“You, too, Dr. Mead.”

“What’s on the menu tonight, Sue?” Wayne asks.

“Steak with mashed potatoes and green beans, and of course, chocolate cake for dessert,” Sue answers.

“Sounds fantastic. I’m looking forward to it.” Wayne turns to me and extends his elbow again. “Shall we?”

Wayne sweeps his arm toward the door on the other side of the kitchen. Before I follow his direction.

“Aloha, Dr. Mead,” Sue replies, alerting me to the fact that she’s of Hawaiian descent.

We move into an elegant dining room with a table that appears big enough to seat twenty. A grand fireplace sits off to the left side of the table, and it’s tall enough for me to walk into, if I wanted. The place settings have been arranged like something from a fine restaurant.

“This is impressive,” I tell Wayne. “I would never have pictured all this for...”

I don’t finish my thought because I don’t want say the wrong thing and offend Wayne.

“A rehab facility?” He lifts an eyebrow and grins.

I shrug. “Yes. I mean, this setup could rival some of the best restaurants in the world.”

“Thank you. We pride ourselves on making sure our clients are well taken care of. When they come here to detox, it’s not the most pleasant thing to go through, but we try to comfort them by making things nice, allowing them only positive things to focus on while they are here.”

Wayne pulls out a chair to the right of the head of the table. “Please, sit. The clients will all be here shortly, and we can get started with introductions.”

A few moments later, the sound of laughter comes rolling in from outside the room. It’s not exactly the mood I expected from a group of people struggling from an array of addiction issues. The first person through the door is a tall, statuesque blonde, with a model face and legs to die for. Everything about her, from her boobs to her eyebrows, couldn’t be more perfect if they were drawn on. Second to arrive is a very handsome man with a broad frame and blond spiky hair. The two of them are smiling, and it makes me think they are the ones I heard laughing just moments ago. Behind them follows a short, balding man with a beer belly who doesn’t appear quite as jovial as the two who preceded him. A few more women and men follow in after that, and each and every one of their curious eyes land on me; wondering who I am and what I’m doing here, I’m sure.

Wayne stands as the new group joins us at the table, each taking a seat. “By the sounds of it, it appears you all enjoyed your day out.”

“Oh, we did,” the blonde says, and then directs her attention to the spiky haired man who came in with her. “Randall ensured we all had a great time.”

Randall stiffens his back and directs his gaze at Wayne. “Everyone had fun at the fair and was on their best behavior. It was a nice change of pace to get out of here for a while.”

“Good, good,” Wayne praises before turning to me. “This is Randall, our activities director.”

I return the smile that Randall shoots me with one of my own, as I’m ecstatic to meet another one of my new co-workers.

Wayne clears his throat and addresses everyone who is now seated at the table. “I’m sure you’re all curious as to the new face in the room. This is Dr. Francine Mead. She’s the new addiction therapist here at Serenity and will be meeting with some of you individually and hopefully develop a relationship whereby she can assist you with your recovery process. I’ll ask that each one of you show her the same respect that you show me.”

Everyone around the table listens to Wayne intently and they nod in all the appropriate places.

The blonde is the first to speak. I can already tell she is the type of woman who is used to having all the attention in the room. “It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Mead. I’m Josie Sullivan. You might’ve heard of me? I had a hit single called ‘Working on a Star’ a couple of years ago.”

My lips pull into a tight line as I root through the limited pop music catalog I have listed in my head. I haven’t had time for much more than studying and spending my time with men. Keeping up on the latest top forty hits hasn’t been exactly high on my priority list. I primarily only listen to alternative music.

I grimace. “I’m not much of a music lover, but I’m sure it’s a lovely song.”

Her expression borders on shock and confusion and then she turns to Randall. “Where did Dr. Shepherd find this one? Under a rock?”

“Josie,” Wayne warns. “Please refrain from insulting the staff. You, better than anyone else, know the rules at Serenity.”

Josie nods quickly, and I get the feeling this isn’t her first visit to Serenity. “I’m sorry, Dr. Shepherd. It won’t happen again.”

“Good.” Wayne unfolds the pressed cloth napkin at his place setting and uses it to cover his lap just as Sue comes into the dining room, pushing a small metal cart with a huge bowl on it. “What kind of soup do we have today?”

“It’s a chilled strawberry. I think you’ll like it,” Sue replies as she begins to ladle a portion into each person’s bowl.

The moment the spoon touches my lips and I sip its contents, I fight back the urge to moan. “This is spectacular, Sue.”

She smiles at me. “Thank you, Dr. Mead.”

The rest of the dinner goes on with small talk taking place between the clients while Wayne interjects every now and then. I learn that most of them have been here for quite some time and were very comfortable stating what they are addicted to, talking very candidly about it.

After it’s all over, Wayne escorts me back to my cottage, and I’m still reeling at how open the clients are. “They all seemed to have made wonderful progress. I’m simply amazed at how open they are about their addictions. That’s always the first step, admitting they have a problem, but then to be able to talk about it so freely and share their struggles is above and beyond.”

Wayne nods. “They don’t come here that way, let me assure you. Most come here headstrong and reluctant, adamant they don’t have a problem, and that everyone else is just too uptight or meddling in their business, so it takes time for them to come around. We hold a lot of group sessions, encouraging that openness. Eventually, they become more comfortable sharing with us and others around them. Unfortunately, most of their support systems at home hinder more than help their recovery, and more often than not, we end up seeing them back here.”

“That’s a shame—to see all that progress wasted.”

He sighs. “It is. I always have to remind myself that we can only do so much here. Ultimately, it’s up to them to remain clean and sober with a positive outlook, and remain open about their feelings and their struggles to those around them.”

We arrive at my stoop and I pull the key from my bra. Wayne raises his eyebrows and I merely shrug. “No pockets.”

He laughs. “I see.”

Once I unlock the door, I turn to him and say, “Thank you for walking me. What time do you want me to start work tomorrow?”

“Eight sharp. We have a new client coming in the morning, and I would like to go over his case file with you before he arrives. Everything we have on the clients is electronic. I’ll email your password to access the system so you can look over it at your leisure. I would like for you to take the lead with this one, but I’ll be here to help you in any way I can.”

I lift my chin, proud that he trusts that I’m ready to jump right into the fire and counsel the new client. “Sounds great. I’ll wait for your email.”

“I’ll send it over as soon as I get back to my office. Goodnight, Frannie.”

The rest of the evening, I wait on Wayne’s email. When I hear the familiar ding of a new message while brushing my teeth, I finish up and rush to the open laptop on my bed to check it.

It contains all the proper passwords and links to access all the clients’ files, as well as the information on the client we are expecting tomorrow.

Tyke Douglas, the bass player for the rock band, Black Falcon, will be arriving via private transportation tomorrow morning. Tyke has been enrolled by his twin brother, Trip, with Tyke’s permission. The client has had two DUIs in the past year, and reportedly has issues with prescription and recreational drugs as well.

I tap my bottom lip, curious about the guy, wanting to know more than the small report on the client tells me. I quickly minimize the screen and pull up Google, typing Mr. Douglas’ name into the search engine along with his band’s name. Within seconds, mug shots pop up on my screen, along with the tabloid reports on the downward spiral of Black Falcon. I flip through more photos and come across one where his eyes are closed as he strums a guitar while wearing a sleeveless shirt, displaying his vast array of tattoos perfectly. While his body appears to be absolutely banging, I’m stuck on the sadness on his face—like he’s completely lost in the song he’s playing.

I click on the biography link listed for Mr. Douglas, but it shows a combined history for both him and his twin brother.

TRIP DOUGLAS BIO

■Character Name: Trip Douglas ■Birth Date: October 14th

■Place of Birth: Ashland, Kentucky

■Current Residence: Paintsville, Kentucky

■Height: 6’1”

■Weight: 195

■Hair Color: Black

■Hair Length: Short

■Eye Color: Green

■Tattoos: Sleeves on both arms, back, and chest

■Educational History: High School graduate

■Work History: Drummer of Black Falcon

■Quirks: Wears bandanna on his head, an identical twin ■Key Adult Experiences: Achieving musical fame

––––––––

Trip Douglas (born October 14th), is the drummer for the American heavy metal band Black Falcon. Best known for being the crazier of the two Douglas Twins, Trip’s triple-thumping foot pedal sound has become one of the band’s trademarks.

Alongside his twin brother, Tyke, Trip began playing instruments under the guidance of his musician father, but his interest in playing in a band grew once he discovered his love for hard rock music. He joined a band called Dingy while in high school with his brother Tyke and his best friend, Zachary ‘Riff’ Oliver. Later, the band was renamed to Black Falcon after the addition of the band’s new front man, Noel Falcon.

Trip also enjoys extreme spots, such as dirt bike riding, rock climbing, and sky diving—making him the most adventurous member of the band. His dream is to one day climb Mount Everest.

TYKE DOUGLAS BIO:

■Character Name: Tyke Douglas ■Birth Date: October 14th

■Place of Birth: Ashland, Kentucky

■Current Residence: Paintsville, Kentucky

■Height: 6’1”

■Weight: 190

■Hair Color: Blond

■Hair Length: Shaggy

■Eye Color: Green

■Tattoos: Sleeves on both arms, back, and chest

■Educational History: High School graduate

■Work History: Bassist of Black Falcon

■Quirks: Frequently wears sunglasses, loves organization, an identical twin ■Key Adult Experiences: Achieving musical fame

Tyke Douglas (born October 14th), is the bassist for the American heavy metal band Black Falcon. Best known for being a key songwriter for the band, Tyke’s obsession with detail always seems to push the songs to a level of perfection rarely achieved by other bands.

Tyke also enjoys the arts, attending gallery openings and poetry events whenever his schedule allows—making him the most cultured member of the band. His dream to one day branch out and share his other artistic abilities with the world is something he hopes to accomplish in the very near future.

Combined Bios:

Trip and Tyke began playing instruments under the guidance of their musician father, but their interest in playing in a band grew once they discovered a mutual love for hard rock music. They joined a band called Dingy while in high school, accompanied by their best friend, Zachary ‘Riff’ Oliver. Later the band was renamed Black Falcon after the addition of the band’s new front man, Noel Falcon.

The band’s first record, Hell in a Hand Basket, went double platinum, making Black Falcon a force to be reckoned with. They’ve released two additional albums since then, and their latest single, “Ball Busting Bitch” is currently on Billboard’s Top 40.

They currently reside in Kentucky, near their other band mates.

As I read through his bio, I can’t help but notice how Tyke Douglas is consistently lumped in with his brother, as opposed to giving him his own identity. Being a twin myself, I can totally relate to this issue. It’s all too easy for people to see you as the same person as your twin. It’s what happened with Annie and me.

I flip through the rest of the links, studying more pictures of Tyke. He’s very easy on the eyes with his tall frame, tan complexion, and light hair. Even though he and Trip are twins, their hair sets them apart, making it very easy to tell the difference between them. The more I stare at the man on my screen, the more addicted I become to his profile. He’s devastatingly handsome, and the thought of how attracted I am to just his mere picture scares the shit out of me.

How am I ever supposed to concentrate on helping this man when he’s my own personal brand of tattooed man-flavored candy? This will prove to be a very difficult task, for sure. The best I can hope for is to find that he’s simply photogenic and absolutely hideous in person.

I close my laptop and set it on my nightstand before I tug my glasses from my face and set them on top of it. I double-check my alarm clock and then snuggle down in my bed after offering up a little prayer that I’ll be able to contain myself tomorrow. If Tyke is the stereotypical bad-boy rocker that he appears to be, I’ll need all the help I can get to keep from jumping his bones and jeopardizing the job I’ve worked so hard to get.

Chapter 3

“Pain Killer” –Three Days Grace

Tyke I rub my face as Trip pulls into the drive of Serenity Hills. “Are you completely sure this is necessary? Really, I’m fine.”

He turns his head in my direction and raises an eyebrow. “Take a good look in the mirror again and then tell me you don’t need help.”

I sigh as I stare at my own reflection in the visor mirror; the angry bruises surrounding my left eye are instant reminders of what happened a few days ago.

I reach up and gingerly trace the wound with my fingertip. “It was an accident. I told you I’m done drinking, and that shit won’t happen again.”

My brother adjusts his grip on the steering wheel. “You need to stop making promises you have no intentions of keeping.”

“I swear it this time. I’m done. I’ve had enough,” I fire back, angry that he doubts my sincerity.

Trip pulls up to a circular driveway in front of a huge white house. “I want to believe that, Tyke, but I can’t take the chance of you trying to hurt yourself again.”

“For the last time, I wasn’t trying to—” Trip holds his hand up, instantly cutting me off.

“I was there, Tyke. In the hospital when they brought you in. You were so out of it you don’t remember telling me you were disappointed that you weren’t dead.” Trip’s eyes soften. “If you won’t talk to me, then you have to talk to someone—someone who can help you work through this. I feel like I’m not that person for you. Whenever we try to talk, all I seem to do is make shit worse. It would kill me if something happened to you, so please, for me, just spend some time here and get things off your chest.”

I chew on the corner of my thumb. He’s right. I don’t remember admitting to him how I really felt that night, right before I crashed the Escalade into a concrete wall. I had been thinking I’d be better off dead, but that wasn’t meant for others to hear. I don’t feel that way now—at least, I don’t think so. But alcohol and mood enhancers have a way of bringing out my innermost demons.

“Okay, but I promise you, I won’t be here long,” I tell my brother, doing my best to sound confident.

Trip smiles. “Good. I need my brother back.”

The moment we get out of the car, we’re met by a tall man with salt and pepper hair, wearing a gray suit, and a huge black guy with a bald head standing on the wraparound porch near the front door of the building.

After I take in the large arms the black guy has crossed over his chest, my eyes flit to Trip as he pops the trunk. “Are you sure this isn’t a fucking prison?”

My brother’s eyes snap in the direction of the two men and then he shrugs. “You’re being paranoid. Looks like a nice place to me. Come on.”

I grab my duffel bag from the trunk and take my guitar case, my baby inside it, from Trip before stalking toward the porch. Dread fills me already. Agreeing to come to the place was probably a big fucking mistake.

The graying man gives me a small smile and extends his hand. “Welcome, Mr. Douglas. I’m Dr. Shepherd, staff physician here at Serenity Hills, and this is Timothy, our staff nurse. I will be overseeing your medical treatment while you’re here.”

He moves on to shake Trip’s hand. “As discussed on the phone, we have private accommodations for him at the main house and will provide the utmost professional care.”

Trip sighs, like he’s relieved. “Thank you. That’s reassuring.”

“We’ll give you a moment to say your good-byes,” Dr. Shepherd tells us as he and Timothy step back toward the large, white double wooden doors at the entrance, but they don’t leave us alone completely.

It would be easy for me to hate my brother for forcing me to come to this place. This isn’t going to be a gentle ride—more like being the captain of a ship headed straight for hell. While I don’t believe I’m “addicted” to anything, I do know that my body has become dependent on my recreational drugs of choice. Every time I go for a prolonged period of time without something in my system, my body begins to go haywire, its circuits overloading and making it behave erratically. Luckily, I haven’t developed the junkie shakes.

My brother wraps me in a tight hug. “I’ll see you soon, man.”

I clear my throat, choking back the heavy lump building there as it finally strikes me that I won’t be seeing him for a while. “Okay.”

Trip turns to me, his eyes sad as they flick from the floor of the porch up to me. “Guess this is it, brother. Be sure to call me every chance you get.”

“I will,” I say.

Without another word, Trip turns away from me and heads for his car. I stand there, watching as he gets into the driver’s seat of his Mustang, firing up the engine before heading back down the drive and out of sight.

“All right, first things first, Timothy will go ahead and search your belongings and get inventory.” I whip around and eyeball Dr. Shepherd as he gives his henchman orders.

I tighten my grip on my duffel bag as the nurse takes a step toward me. “Hold on just a goddamn minute. You aren’t going through my things.”

Dr. Shepherd holds his hands out palm up. “Tyke, I know you may not understand or agree with some of our methods—lack of personal privacy being one of them—but I assure you that we are merely looking for contraband items that could hinder the recovery efforts of both yourself and those around you. We have a zero tolerance policy here, and we search all personal items brought into our treatment center.”

I cling to my bag, tucking it tightly against my chest. “Can’t you just take my word that there’s nothing in there?”

He shakes his head. “I’m afraid not.” He extends this hand. “If you want to stay here and begin treatment, this isn’t up for discussion.”

Fuck.

My lungs fill with air and I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, before blowing it out through my nose. If I tell them to fuck off, and take off walking, there’s not a damn thing they can do to me. This wasn’t court ordered, just a Black Falcon demand—a demand that if I ignore, I can kiss my spot in the band good-bye, handing Sergio the gig of a lifetime.

What other real choice do I have?

I loosen my hold and reluctantly hand my bag over to Dr. Shepherd. The moment I let go, I shove my hands deep into my pockets, dreading the moment they find everything I’ve hidden in there.

“You’re going to do all right here, Mr. Douglas. Following rules and protocol are key, and the sooner you understand we are only doing these things for your own good, the better our treatment program will work for you.”

I simply shrug my shoulders in defeat. “Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Very well.” He nods curtly before handing my stuff to the nurse. “Timothy, let’s get started. This way, Mr. Douglas.”

I follow behind the doctor and nurse as requested. We don’t immediately go into the house, though; we veer off the porch toward a small building that I didn’t notice. Tucked into the thick tree line, it’s white like the house, and appears to be a small cottage.

Dr. Shepherd steps up onto the stoop and pulls a ring of keys from his pants pocket, sorting through them before finding the one to unlock the building. The moment we step inside, it’s clear this is some sort of intake place to greet visitors, and most likely new enrollees. A small waiting room with four chairs faces the reception desk sitting in the middle of the room. Behind the desk is a small room that reminds me of a doctor’s office with an exam table sitting catty-corner in the space.

Dr. Shepherd pushes the exam room door open a little wider and gestures me through. “We need to conduct a full physical exam before we get you settled into your room. Timothy will remain out here to go through your things. I must make you aware that if we find any drug paraphernalia of any type we will dispose of it in your presence. These are not items we will return to you, even if you elect to withdraw yourself from the program, because they are illegal substances.”

I nod. “Understood.”

Oh shit, will that nurse get an eyeful when he goes through my stuff. There’s not a lot of product in there, but enough for emergencies if I needed it. Enough that the mere thought of flushing it makes me cringe.

“Coming?” The doctor’s words pull me out of my haze as I realize I’m just standing there staring at Timothy as he shoves his hands into a pair of gloves and then unzips my bag.

It’s too late now to stop what he’s going to find, so I might as well get this exam over with.

“Yeah.”

Dr. Shepherd wastes no time pulling a gown out of the cupboard and sets it on the exam table. “Strip down to your underwear and put on the gown.”

The doctor exits the room without any additional instructions. I scratch the back of my neck as I stare at the fabric lying in front of me. Is this really what I’ve been reduced to? A man whom others deem incapable of making sound judgments on his own? A man forced to get full-body exams because people feel that he has an addiction issue? I don’t fucking think so, but I’ll go along with it just to secure my spot in the band.

I love that band. It’s my life, and I’d do anything for it.

A couple of quick raps hit the door and then Dr. Shepherd pushes in. He doesn’t meet my stare, only keeps his head down and continues to jot notes on what I assume is my chart.

“You had quite the supply in your duffel bag and guitar case.” It’s clearly not a question but a statement of the obvious.

What’s really left to say after that?

I shrug. “Yeah, well, what can I say? I like to be prepared.”

He glances up at me with a raised eyebrow and a semi-amused expression. “A sense of humor is a good thing to have. It’s important to keep that because what you’re about to go through will not be easy. It’s going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life, but once it’s over, you’ll feel like a new man. I promise you that.”

I sigh. “I’m sure this is absolutely the most difficult thing in the world for someone who has an actual problem, but Doc, I’m not one of those people. I can quit anytime I want to. I use it to have fun. It’s not an addiction.”

Dr. Shepherd leans against the counter across from me and crosses his arms over my file. “Tyke, almost every single person who comes into this exam room for the very first time says the exact same thing. Admitting you have an addiction and deciding to make a change is the first step to recovery.”

“Don’t worry, Doc. I’ll breeze through this program. You’ll see,” I tell him with complete confidence. “While I’ll admit that my body has become dependent on a few things I use regularly, I don’t admit to having a problem.”

He tilts his head. “Then why did you agree to come to treatment?”

“My band,” I answer honestly. “They really didn’t leave me much choice. If I didn’t come here, they voted to throw me out, and I can’t let that happen. Black Falcon means everything to me.”

“I see.” He jots a couple more things down in the chart. “Well, while you are here, Mr. Douglas, I hope that you use the time wisely, and open yourself up to the possibility that you may actually have a problem severe enough for your brother to reach out to us. He’s worried about you, about losing you, and he feared he didn’t have what it takes to help you because nothing he’s done over the last year has succeeded. While I can’t make you see the issues at hand and want to get better—that part is totally up to you—I can give you the tools and the support to begin your recovery.”

He sets the chart down on the counter and washes his hands. “I’m just going to do a standard exam and go over your medical history. We’ll discuss where you’re getting your benzodiazepine supply. After that, you’ll get dressed, collect your belongings, and Timothy will help you get settled into your room.”

After about fifteen minutes of being thoroughly violated, consenting to STD testing, and witnessing a pat down of all my clothing, I’m left alone in the room to get dressed again. I quickly throw my clothes back on and head out the door. The male nurse’s gaze meets mine as he sits at the desk, my things spread out in front of him. I don’t care who you are, when someone else goes through your personal belongings, it ruffles your feathers.

I cross my arms across my chest and do my best not to rip into the guy for what I’m sure is just his job.

Dr. Shepherd clears his throat. “As you can see, Mr. Douglas, we’ve searched your things thoroughly, and we’ve recovered several items of contraband.” He gestures to the four baggies sitting in front of my clothes. “Two bags of an unknown white powdered substance, one baggie of some sort of dried herb that appears to be THC, accompanied by several rolling papers, and one baggie of pills that looks to be benzodiazepines. As discussed, we will be disposing of these items in your presence before we clear you into the facility.”

Timothy rises, his at least six-foot-five frame towering over me, and he gathers the baggies. I could tell them no—hell fucking no—but know that I can’t. No sense in me getting all testy in a situation I know I can’t change.

I sigh. “Lead the way.”

I follow Timothy and Dr. Shepherd into a restroom behind the desk, watching helplessly as everything I need to make my time here sustainable swirls around in the toilet before being sucked down the drain.

After the empty baggies are discarded, I follow the two men out of the bathroom. Timothy sits back down and begins doing paperwork. The guy hasn’t said one word to me since I got here, which is completely fucking odd and doesn’t make me feel comfortable around him, but I’m grateful that I’ve only got one of them firing questions at me.

Dr. Shepherd folds my file and lays it on the desk. “Anything else you have on you that we didn’t find? Now’s the time to come clean without any judgment.”

I shake my head. “Honestly, everything I brought with me was either taped inside the guitar, which you obviously found, or in the duffel bag.”

“Good. We really want to focus on the twelve steps of recovery with you, Mr. Douglas. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve already started the program by completing the first three steps in order to get here—acknowledging your addiction and deciding to change, exploring your rehab treatment options, and finding the support that you need.”

I furrow my brow. “But I didn’t pick this place. My brother did.”

He nods. “Yes, but it was ultimately your choice to come here. Knowing your brother will support you helped make you comfortable, I’m sure.”

“I guess, but Doc, I have to be honest with you—I really don’t have a problem. I like to party, but that’s nowhere near having an addiction issue. I’m only here to keep my spot in the band,” I tell him.

He raises one eyebrow. “Noted, but I hope you are here to take a hard, honest look at your life and the direction it’s going. We can only help you as much as you’ll allow us.”

His words play over in my mind. While I know what he’s getting at, he doesn’t get that, unlike most people that waft through his door, I don’t have a problem. I’m not an idiot, and I sure as fuck am not in denial about the shit I do.

After a short pause with no words passing between us, the doctor requests that Timothy show me to my room so I can settle in. I follow the nurse out the door, and we head back up toward the house carrying my duffel bag in my hand and my soft guitar case slung over my shoulder. One thing I will say for this place: it’s quiet. It reminds me a lot of the land I grew up on in Kentucky. Large hills covered in thick trees surround the open area where the main house sits, and small cabins spread out about fifty yards back from the main house.

I wonder for a split second who gets to stay in those before I ask, “Any chance of me getting a cabin?”

“No.” It’s a stern answer, given by a deep rumbling voice in such a way that I know there’s no chance I’m finagling it into a yes. So, I don’t even bother trying.

This place is going to suck so badly.

The moment we step up on the porch, the front door opens, and the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen steps through it. Her eyes are so blue they remind me of a crisp summer sky, and I can’t tear my gaze away. Her jet-black hair only accentuates the heavenly color of her eyes, while her curvaceous body causes me to lick my lips. She’s like the perfect mix of heaven and hell—angel and sinner rolled into one.

The musical laughter coming from her has my eyes drifting to her full, pouty mouth. What I wouldn’t give for one night with her. The things I could do to her to make her scream my name from that mouth. I could throw her my best pick-up line to try to make that happen, but I fight the urge. This is neither the time nor the place to pick up a woman.

The moment her gaze lands on me, I lose my breath. Every fiber within me halts, and I am fixated, unable to move away from her. Her lips curve into a natural smile as her eyes give me a quick once-over.

Holy fuck. Being here might not be so damn bad after all.

The vixen extends her hand. “You must be Mr. Douglas. I’m Dr. Mead.”

I raise my eyebrows, and my eyes widen as I take her hand in mine, feeling the smoothness of her skin. “You’re a doctor?”

Her cheeks redden, making her even more fucking attractive. “I’m an addiction therapist.”

I bite the corner of my lip and allow my eyes to wander down her body, not making any attempt to hide the fact that I like what I see as I study the way her sundress molds to her. “I’ll definitely be looking forward to my treatment now.”

She shakes her head while rolling those magnetic eyes of hers, doing her best to pretend to be annoyed by my comment, but I know she’s full of shit—her continual blush is giving her away. “I’ll see you in group, Mr. Douglas.”

I turn and watch her saunter away, enjoying the view of her hips swishing from side to side as she heads off the porch toward one of the cottages.

She likes me hitting on her. I know it.

“Come on, Romeo,” Timothy says next to me, causing me to chuckle.

“That’s the first complete sentence you’ve said to me since I got here. I was beginning to think you were mute,” I tease, but my eyes remain glued to the hot little doctor’s ass.

“You’ve got other things to focus on,” Timothy says as he opens the front door. “What you’ve got to go through the next couple of days won’t be pretty, and I doubt hitting on the woman who is here to help you through it is the best idea.”

Reluctantly, I pull my gaze away from the woman and pat Timothy on the shoulder as I pass by him to get inside. “I told you guys. I don’t have a problem.”

He shakes his head, leading me up the stairs. “Remember that when you’re detoxing so I don’t have to remind you that an addiction is what’s made you feel so bad.”

Once we get to the top, he points to the hallway to the left of the stairs. “Women’s quarters. That’s off-limits to you.” He gives me a stern look, and I raise my hands in surrender. “The right is men only. You’re the second door down that hall, on the left. Go unpack and then come down and find me, and I’ll give you the tour of the grounds.”

I adjust the strap on my shoulder. “Will do.”

When Timothy turns and heads back down the stairs, I have the sudden urge to salute him like he’s a fucking drill sergeant. That guy is definitely no fun.

I push open the door to my room and quickly discover that I have no way to lock it behind me.

Talk about no fucking privacy.

The room is a hell of a lot smaller than I’m used to, a twin bed and small dresser taking up most of the space. A tiny closet just deep enough to hang my clothes in faces the foot of the bed. Most hotel rooms I’ve stayed in lately are mansions compared to this place.

I lean my baby against the empty corner and then plop down on my bed. I scrub my hands over my face, and all I can think about is what I wouldn’t give for some weed to help take the edge off this situation. It’s been the only thing that’s kept my nerves calm over the last few years, since we started making music full time. People always believe being a rock star is so easy, but they have no clue just how much work goes into coming up with new material, doing appearances, and dealing with all the bullshit tasks the label makes us do. When all that piles up on a band that has the kind of turmoil we do, it’s enough to put anyone on fucking edge—which is why I don’t see why me dabbling a little hurts. I do it to stay mellow. The guys just don’t fucking get it.

I lie back on the bed and shut my eyes, suddenly tired and annoyed with the entire situation. What in the hell am I doing here? This kind of place isn’t for a guy like me.

Just as I’m about to fall asleep, someone begins to pound on my door. “Downstairs for dinner, Mr. Douglas.”

I sigh deeply. I knew that guy was going to be a pain in my ass.

Chapter 4

“Buttons”—Pussycat Dolls

Frannie Oh shit.

Tyke Douglas is just as freaking sexy in person as he is in the damn pictures. This is so not good.

Those green eyes of his, paired with the sexy-as-sin tattoos covering his delicious forearms could get me into so much trouble.

“Sweet bejesus!” Kimmy’s voice startles me as she meets up with me on the path heading toward the cottages. “Did you get a load of that piece of man meat? I don’t think we’ve ever had anyone as fine as Tyke Douglas here before.”

I lick my lips and try to be as professional about the situation as I can, all the while pretending that my pulse isn’t still beating wildly out of control. “Yes, I guess he is quite handsome...if you’re into that whole ‘tattooed bad-boy’ thing.”

Kimmy cackles beside me. “Who isn’t into that? Any woman who says they aren’t is a damn liar. There’s no way any single woman wouldn’t take one look at that and not fantasize about screwing him seven ways ‘till Sunday. You can tell me what you really think of him—I can totally keep a secret.”

It’s tempting to gush over his hotness with Kimmy, but I know better than to let my guard down with someone I barely know. It’s too risky. If anyone ever found out exactly how attracted I am to him, I’d surely be fired on the spot.

I shrug. “Honestly, Kimmy, he isn’t my type.”

She sighs longingly next to me as she toys with a strand of her long blond hair. “If you say so, but Frannie, you are most definitely his. Did you see the way he was looking at you? I swear he was going to try to jump your bones right there in front of Timothy.”

“You saw that, too, huh?”

She nods. “I watched it all go down from the doorway as I started following you out. Be careful, girl. A woman can only resist so long when a guy like Tyke Douglas sets his sights on her. But I don’t doubt a night with him would be worth risking everything for.”

I pat her shoulder. “Don’t worry. I promise he has no effect on me whatsoever.”

“If you say so. I’ll see you at dinner,” she calls as she trots off toward her cabin, which is conveniently next to mine.

I hate that this is only my second day here and already I’m allowing a man to get to me. No matter how much my body may crave him, I have to fight it.

I fold my arms across my torso. “Be strong, Frannie. He’s just an absurdly sexy man. You can totally ignore that fact and remain completely professional.”

I square my shoulders, finding a new sense of self-pride as I step up on the stoop of my little cottage and unlock the door. I will not flush my job down the drain over a handsome face and a seriously toned body. There’s too much riding on me getting my act straight just to piss away my very first job opportunity. This job has to work. It’s all part of my plan to become a better person—someone my parents will be proud to call their daughter again. They haven’t really spoken to me much since Annie died. It’s like the good daughter is gone and now they’re stuck with me—someone who’s exactly the opposite of their ideal daughter.

After a quick shower, I decide to wear a blouse that reveals no cleavage whatsoever and a pair of Capri pants. Even though the memory of Tyke’s eyes roaming down my body, staring longer than necessary at my chest, causes my belly to tingle, I can’t allow that to keep happening. So, from now on, I’ll only wear the most conservative outfits I brought. There’s no sense in putting myself in a vulnerable position. That’s part of the twelve steps we teach all recovering addicts. No matter what they are struggling with, avoid putting yourself in situations where you might be tempted to fall back into old patterns.

After I double-check my appearance in the mirror, I head to the main house for dinner. So far, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed having dinner with the clients. It’s given me an opportunity to observe their behaviors and get to know them before I start my first official day of counseling with them tomorrow.

This morning after breakfast, I met with Wayne in his office. He explained that they now have more clients than they’ve ever had at the facility, and he no longer has enough time to counsel all of them on his own.

That’s where I come in.

We went over the files of all the existing clients here at Serenity and discussed their treatment plans. Wayne is giving me a lot of responsibility already, telling me that I’ll be leading some group sessions, as well as giving me a few additional files for the one-on-one sessions I’ll be taking over.

I’m excited for this opportunity. It’s a test, I’m sure—to see how well I’ll do here before he gives me a full caseload. I’m ready to prove, not only to him, that I can do this, but to myself, too.

The moment I step up through the back door of the main house, I’m hit with the delicious aroma of dinner. I inhale the tangy-sweet smell into my nose, and my mouth instantly begins to water.

Sue stands over the stove stirring something in a big pot as I pass by. “Wow, Sue, that smells amazing. What is it?”

She turns to me and smiles. “It’s ham covered in honey and brown sugar glaze, topped with pineapple.”

“I can’t wait to try it. I’m going to get so fat working here. I’ve never been fed this well,” I tease her.

She chuckles. “A little bit of meat on a woman has never killed anyone.”

I lean against the counter and watch as she dumps the gravy from a pot into a few serving boats sitting on a metal tray. “How long have you worked here, Sue?”

She scrapes the rest of the steamy liquid into the last boat and twists her lips. “Since it opened, which has been about ten years now.”

I step around the counter and begin helping her load the serving cart. “Any pointers you can give me? Anything I should know in order to keep my job here?”

She sets the last of the salads onto the cart. “It’s really a pretty nice place to work. Dr. Shepherd and Timothy tend to have the roughest job detoxing the clients when they first come in. The rest of us get to be more friendly with the clients—some a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.”

I laugh and the memory of first meeting with the clients pop into mind, and the handsome activities director who seemed a little too friendly with our resident pop singer. “You mean Randall?”

Sue nods. “You’ve been here one day and have already picked up on it. You’re going to do all right here, Mrs. Mead.”

“Please, call me Frannie, Sue. Mrs. Mead is my mother, and I am most definitely not married,” I say, earning a laugh from her. “Has he ever...”

I try to stop myself from digging into someone else’s business, but the beginning of my thought is already out there and there’s no taking it back.

“Messed around with a client?” Sue furrows her brow as she considers the question. “I don’t think so. He’s probably been tempted, but he knows Dr. Shepherd has a zero tolerance for fraternization with the clients. He’d surely lose his job if he did.”

“Noted. Not that I would ever have any kind of relationship with a client, though.”

Sue sighs as she wipes her hands on a dishtowel. “That’s what they all say, but I’ve seen it happen more times than I can remember. The therapist before you had an affair with a football player that we had here at the facility for a while.”

“Really? What happened?” I ask, extremely interested in where this conversion seems to be heading.

“Timothy caught them in the therapist’s office. Apparently, he walked in during a session, and she was counseling the client in more ways than one on her couch.” Sue waggles her eyebrows, and I burst out laughing.

“Remind me to never sit there.”

It’s easy for me to joke around with her and act like I would never be caught in a situation like that because it’s easier than revealing the truth about myself to someone who won’t understand. I’m an addict myself, but my drug of choice isn’t anything crushed, shot, or snorted. It’s better if I put on a facade and pretend that I’m a very conservative woman—a little prudish. It won’t make my coworkers here suspect that every moment I’m around men I’m attracted to, I’m in danger of relapsing into my old ways.

Sue steps back and appraises the cart that we’ve just loaded. “I think that’s it. Thank you for all the help.”

I dust my hands off. “Anytime. It was good chatting with you.”

I push through the door of the kitchen and make my way into the huge dining room. Every time I come in here, I think of those old movies where the mansions have humongous formal rooms, each detail of the place screaming that the owner is made of money.

Several clients mill about the room, paying no mind that I’ve even entered as they continue to talk among themselves. In the short time I’ve been here, I’ve already sort of learned the hierarchy—Josie Sullivan has to remain the center of attention at all times, while the rest of the clients take a backseat. Wayne tries to combat this by reminding her constantly of the rules he’s set in place about respecting everyone, and allowing others an equal chance to express their feelings and thoughts. Randall fawns over Josie, giving her a little extra affection when he thinks no one is looking, but I can tell he’s not in love with her or anything. I’ve noticed the way his eyes linger on me a little too long from time to time. I know guys like him. Totally hot and one hundred percent player—the kind of guy I need to steer clear of.

I make my way to the seat where I’ve been sitting for the past couple of days, to the immediate right of Wayne, who sits at the head like our leader. Before I have the chance to pull the chair out myself, it slides out for me. My gaze instantly lands on the large thick fingers wrapped around its edge, before my eyes trail up the toned, tattooed forearms of none other than Tyke Douglas. The wicked gleam in his eyes is much too appealing, taunting me to give in to his subtle advances and flirt back.

I swallow hard and tip my chin up, doing my best to act like being this close to him doesn’t bother me one bit. “Thank you, Mr. Douglas.”

Even the slow nod he gives me is sexy. “Dr. Mead.”

Sliding into the seat, I feel it scoot in behind me, his thumb grazing my shoulder. Goosebumps erupt all over my skin at the thought of Tyke’s proximity. The feeling doesn’t let up because moments later he takes the seat directly beside me.

I risk a glance at him just as he unfolds the cloth napkin from the table and then smoothes it over one leg. I find myself mesmerized by the way his thick fingers move so gracefully across the material and my gaze lands on his crotch, a visceral reaction to the idea of what could possibly be under those snug jeans causing me to bite my lip.

A deep chuckle snaps me out of my daze, and I quickly look away, refocusing harder than necessary on the silverware in front of me.

I go to work, straightening my fork next to my knife, and feel his hot breath on my neck as he leans in and whispers, “See something you like, Doc?”

Still unable to look at him, I shake my head, feeling my hair slide across his face. “No.”

“Did you say something, Dr. Mead?” Josie asks from across the table, and I’m instantly mortified that I said anything out loud.

My cheeks heat, and I know without a doubt they’re rosy red. “No, Josie, I was just thinking out loud.”

She raises a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me. “Okay...”

For a moment, I worry that I’ll have to explain myself further, but thankfully Randall sits next to her and Josie forgets me almost immediately.

I snap my gaze to Tyke and narrow my eyes, the urge to let him know that he’s not going to possess any power over me whatsoever overwhelming. No amount of smooth talking will make me change the rules I’ve set for myself. I’m going to remain celibate, no matter how much it freaking kills me.

“No more of that will be tolerated, Mr. Douglas,” I tell him sternly, which only makes his smile widen.

Dear God. Why does he have to have such a sexy mouth? This isn’t fair. How am I expected to live so close to this man if he continues to pursue me in such a forward manner?

Tyke rests his arm on the table and grins crookedly. “We’ll see.”

I open my mouth to scold him, but before I have the opportunity, Wayne’s voice startles me. “Good evening, everyone.”

I turn toward the door just in time to see my boss strut into the room in yet another fabulously pressed and extremely expensive-looking suit. It’s almost as if everyone answers in unison because a chorus of good evenings rings around the room.

Wayne takes his seat next to mine. “Dr. Mead, I trust you’ve met our newest resident?”

I place the napkin on my lap just as Sue pushes her cart full of salad into the room. “Yes, I’ve had the pleasure twice now.”

Tyke chokes on his water next to me, but I refuse to acknowledge his response to my choice of words. When I said pleasure, in no way did it have any sexual connotations.

Wayne, on the other hand, begins to eat his salad, paying no mind at all to the smartass next to me. “Good. I would like you to head up his first session after dinner. Would that be all right with you, Mr. Douglas?”

Tyke’s eyes flick to me, and then he gives me a dazzling white smile. “I’d love a little one-on-one time with her.”

Oh, God. Heaven help me. This man is going to be trouble.

The kind I have a very hard time resisting.

Chapter 5

“Man in the Box”—Alice in Chains

Tyke Dr. Mead takes the seat across from me and crosses her smooth legs, which immediately catches my attention. My gaze travels from the tip of her black stiletto all the way up her toned, tanned calf, stopping when I get to the hem of her short skirt, stretched tightly across her thighs. All I can think of is getting down on my knees in front of her and tracing the length of those sexy legs with my hands to discover what material her panties are made of. I bet they’re lace. An image of a red lace thong pressing against her pussy pops into my mind and my dick twitches.

Fuck.

I move in my seat and fight the urge to adjust my semi-hard cock right in front of her. I have to stop thinking of her like this. This woman is a fucking professional. She’s not going to fuck me on a whim, no matter how much I turn on the charm. Besides, she’s my doctor for fuck’s sake, and my way back into the guys’ good graces.

“Mr. Douglas, you may call me Frannie. I find that the less formality, the more beneficial it is in helping us connect on a more personal level, since the things we discuss in my office are very sensitive in nature. I want you to feel comfortable with me and allow yourself to open up. It’s the only way to dig deep into the true root of the issues you’re here to work out.” Frannie takes the reading glasses that are clinging to the neckline of her shirt and carefully unfolds them, before slipping them onto the bridge of her nose. “Would you like to start by telling me a little about yourself?”

I furrow my brow. I hate talking about myself. It always feels so lame. Put me in an interview where we talk music and I can spout that shit all day long, but getting personal is an entirely different beast.

“I’d rather talk about the possibility of me and you happening.”

She sighs. “Mr. Douglas—”

I hold my hand up. “Call me Tyke, and never say never. I’d hate for you to lie to yourself.”

“I’m sure you’re used to women throwing themselves at your feet, Tyke, but that’s not going to happen. I’m here because I am your therapist, not because we are going to develop a sexual relationship. The only issues we need to discuss are about why you are here. There will be nothing else discussed in this room.”

I scrub my hand down my face. It’s obvious I had the vibe I felt between us all wrong.

“I’m not sure where you want me to start or what you want me to say,” I answer honestly. “I’ve never been in therapy before.”

Frannie makes a note on the tablet in front of her before her gaze returns to me. “It’s not what I want you to say. You have to begin opening up to me in order for treatment to work. The best way for that to happen is to start small. For instance, tell me about your family, and where you grew up.”

I rub my clammy hands against my jeans. That’s easy enough. “I grew up in a small town here in Kentucky. My parents are still married, but I don’t see them often, and I have a twin brother named Trip.”

She nods. “Trip is also in Black Falcon with you, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you two always been close?”

My mind wanders back to when we were kids. Every event I picture, I see Trip standing right next to me. “Yes. Since birth we’ve been inseparable.”

Her pretty pink lips twist. “Until now.”

I pick at the leather cuff on my wrist and shrug. “That’s not what this is all about.”

Frannie pulls the black-framed glasses away from her face, revealing a clear shot of the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen. “I don’t mean to sound as if I have already pinpointed anything. I just want to get to know you—to understand what you’re feeling.”

I stare down at the thick leather cuff again. “Even I have a hard time understanding that sometimes.”

“What do you mean?” The softness in her voice wraps around me, making me almost believe she actually cares.

“I...it’s just, I’ve never been great at telling people what’s really on my mind. Talking feelings has always been difficult for me.”

She uncrosses her legs and then crosses them in the opposite direction. “But aren’t you the predominant songwriter for your band?”

I quirk an eyebrow, and my mouth pulls up into a half smile. “You’ve been researching me?”

A simple shrug and the slight blush staining her cheeks tells me she’s definitely looked me up. “I wanted to be prepared. Songs usually convey the emotion its writer is feeling at the time. Knowing facts like you’ve written most of the songs tells me that you’ve been able to express yourself through music in the past.”

I pull my lips into a tight line as I consider what she’s saying. I guess I’ve never really thought about it, but she’s right. Thinking back on most of the songs I wrote completely alone, the lyrics have always evolved from something that was going on in my life. Maybe she’s on to something, but it still doesn’t mean I can completely open myself up to a stranger when I’m not even sure what the fuck is going on with me.

I sigh. “Maybe that’s true, but that sure doesn’t help right now. What’s all this have to do with me talking to you, anyhow?”

She levels her gaze on me. “Why not use music to express your emotion?”

I laugh. “You mean like sing to you? No way. That’s ridiculous.”

She raises her brow. “Is it?”

“Yes,” I tell her simply.

Frannie stands and walks over to her desk and grabs a black notebook from a drawer. She comes back and stands before me. “Here.”

I take the notebook from her outstretched hand. “What exactly do you want me to do with this?”

She remains standing in front of me. “Since you seem to find it difficult to express emotion through traditional channels of communication, let’s try something different. If a song comes to mind that touches you for any particular reason, write it down, and we’ll discuss it.”

I twist my lips, attempting to hide my smirk as I rise from my seat. “I’d much rather you touch me.”

“Tyke—”

I raise my hands in surrender. “I wish I could say I’m sorry, and that it won’t happen again, but I’m afraid lying to my therapist is bad karma.”

Frannie shakes her head. “Please try and write your feelings in the notebook. It’ll give us something to talk about when I see you again in five days or so.”

I tilt my head. “Five days? I thought we’d be seeing each other on a daily basis.”

A small frown crosses her beautiful face. “The last thing you’ll feel like doing for the next three days is talking to me about your feelings. Detoxing will not be pleasant, and you won’t be able to focus on anything else.”

I fight the urge to roll my eyes again. Why does everyone and their fucking brother keep saying that? “Don’t worry, Frannie. I’m no crackhead. I’ll be the same as always for the next few days.”

I fully expect her to answer me, but she doesn’t say another word, just simply sighs again, and leads me toward the door. “I’ll see you once you’re able, Tyke.”

When I leave her office, I catch myself shaking my head. Everyone always fucking doubts me. I hate that shit. I’m about to show everyone that I’m the one in control of my life and body, not some substance.

I toss and turn in the small twin bed in my room all night; the craving that usually creeps in late at night when I have too much idle time to stress over the ultimate demise of the band coming at me in full force. Thanks to Timothy and Dr. Shepherd flushing all my benzodiazepines and oxycodones, along with everything else I brought, down the toilet right in front of me, I have zero chance of scratching that stupid itch for a high. But still, it’s not anything I can’t handle. I’m still in control.

A loud knock on my door jerks me awake, and I squint at the morning sun pouring through my window. “Mr. Douglas, breakfast in ten minutes.”

I groan at Timothy’s voice, wanting no part of getting up yet. “I slept like shit, and I’m not hungry.”

“There’s no sleeping in, either.” I toss my pillow across my face and will Timothy to just go away. “I’ll be back in ten minutes to assist you if you aren’t downstairs.”

“Jesus. This is a fucking concentration camp,” I mumble to myself before sighing and tugging the pillow away from my face.

The dark hardwood is cool against my bare feet as I make my way over to my duffel bag and pull out some clean clothes. I eye the notebook Frannie gave me, lying on the dresser as I tug my black T-shirt over my head.

Think of songs that express how I feel, huh?

I grab the pen on top of the notebook and grip the cap between my teeth, pulling the pen free. I stare at the blank page that’s just begging for some words to be scratched on it. I glance around the small room, suddenly feeling very trapped in this place. Alice in Chains’ “Man in the Box” pops into my head, and I begin to hum the iconic intro and sing the words to the song, wondering if the front man of that band, Layne Staley, felt trapped in his own prison when he was writing that song.

I smile as I close the notebook, not elaborating on the lyrics of the song, simply writing the title and the band down. I’m sure that’s not exactly what Frannie had in mind when she asked me to document my feelings through the use of songs, but hey, at least I’m fucking participating in her little assignment.

I open the door to my room just in time to see Timothy, arms poised, ready to knock on my door once again to no doubt help me find my way to breakfast like he threatened moments ago.

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise the moment I step past him and clap him on the back. “Heading there now, big guy, and as you can tell, I’m fit as a fucking fiddle—told you guys that I didn’t have an addiction problem.”

He sighs as he follows behind me. “Being hooked on benzodiazepines is no less threatening than any other addiction, Mr. Douglas. Anti-anxiety medications are powerful medications. It can take twenty-four hours for the first effects of withdrawal to appear. I’m guessing you dosed up before coming to us yesterday, so you’ll be jonesin’ for your next fix soon. But we’ll be here to help you through it.”

I open my mouth to protest again, but quickly close it because I’ve said it enough times to know now that, no matter what I say, they’re going to believe what they want—that I’m an addict. It’s why I’m here. Everyone working here, including Frannie, has lost sight of the fact that drugs can be used purely recreationally.

The moment my boots hit the first floor, my mouth begins to water and it’s not because of the delicious aroma of buttermilk pancakes wafting through the air. Frannie stands in the dining room, talking to a short balding man. She’s laughing again, and her face bears the same carefree expression she wore the very first time I spotted her—the one that drew me to her and made me crave the time in my life when I was that happy. She’s truly an exquisite creature; one I shouldn’t be thinking about the way I am. Frannie is off-limits. That’s been made clear to me by not only her, but the staff as well. That still doesn’t deter me. If anything, it only increases her allure.

She turns to me, smile still on her face, and says, “Good morning, Tyke. You look well this morning.”

I grin, knowing she, along with the rest of the crew here, fully expected me to be brought to my knees this morning, but I’m glad to prove them all wrong.

“Told you I’d be fine today.”

She tilts her head and examines my face like she’s ready to argue with me, just like Timothy did only moments ago, but she doesn’t. “Well, maybe I will see you today then.”

“Looks like it.”

I wink at her as I pass by her and head into breakfast.

Chapter 6

“Red”—Taylor Swift

Frannie The green and orange sweater that Arnold, my nine thirty session, is wearing completely distracts me. First of all, it’s September, and while the constant beating heat of the summer has begun to drift into the crisp feeling of fall at night, it’s still too damn hot for a sweater.

I study Arnold’s features as he prattles on about never being liked in high school. It’s what he believes has led to his addiction issues. His short stature, coupled with his obvious beer gut and balding hairline, makes it hard for me to picture him as ever being young enough to be a teenager.

“The turning point is when I asked Lesley Peacock to the Junior Prom. When she turned me down, I couldn’t get over it,” Arnold explains as he continues to shrug his shoulders over and over as if he, himself, isn’t exactly sure about the story he’s telling me. “I think she broke my spirit, and I turned to drinking to cope.”

I’m not buying that. I know it’s not professional, but I want to roll my eyes. “Arnold,” I interrupt. “Are you saying that that one moment was impossible to get over? That one simple rejection sent your life onto the path of self-destruction? There’s nothing a little deeper that haunts your mind every day? Something you turn to alcohol to forget?”

Arnold’s lips pull into a tight line as his eyes drift up toward the ceiling. “Nothing that I can think of, Frannie.”

I glance down at my cell on my desk, noticing a new text message. “Our session time has come to a close. What I would like for you to think about is if there’s something else that bothers you, other than a girl turning you down for a date. Something else you try to escape.”

He nods and stands. “See you tomorrow.”

The moment he leaves the room, I swipe my finger across the screen of my phone. My eyebrows shoot up when I see that the text is from my mother, asking for me to call her. Something must be wrong because I rarely hear from her. She’s either too busy donating her time to one of her multiple charities, or caught up in planning some over-the-top affair at the country club she and my father are members of.

I press the green phone symbol and wait as two rings pass before Mother answers. “Frannie, darling, thank you for returning my call so quickly. What are you doing this weekend?”

My lips pull into a tight line. Has she forgotten so quickly that I’ve recently moved? “I’m in Kentucky.”

She sighs heavily into the phone. “What are you doing in that god-awful state?”

It’s with that one sentence she confirms that, once again, she has paid no attention to what’s going on in my life. “I took a job here, remember?”

“Oh, yes, that’s right.” I can tell by her exasperated tone that she still doesn’t understand why I felt the need to go into a career field that doesn’t exactly meet her standards. “Your weekends are still free though, yes?”

“Yes, but—”

“Perfect!” she exclaims, completely cutting me off. “I need you to housesit this weekend. Your father is flying to London on business, and I’ve decided to go with him. You know how I love that city, and I simply can’t resist going even if it’s only for a couple days.”

I furrow my brow. “That sounds great, but I don’t understand why you’re calling me.”

“Penelope already requested the weekend off, and there’s just no one else I trust to take care of Spencer and Ruby.”

I roll my eyes as I think about my mother’s obsession with her Cavalier King Charles Spaniel dogs. She treats those dogs better than she ever treated Annie and me. My sister would always laugh when I would complain that those stupid animals weren’t my siblings like Mother would refer to them as. Even if they are undeniably cute. “Give mother a break, Frannie,” Annie would say. “They’ve actually softened her up.” Annie would only laugh harder when I would mumble that her twin daughters should’ve been the ones to unfreeze that icy heart of hers.

Needless to say, I’m not a fan of how much Mother loves those dogs.

“Can’t one of the other staff take care of them since Penelope is off?” I ask.

“Frannie, you know I don’t just trust my babies to anyone. I’ll need you to come home for the weekend and take care of your brother and sister.”

Ugh. There it is again. I swear to God the woman is delusional.

“I can’t,” I tell her simply. “That’s a long train ride and—”

“Oh, Frannie, don’t be silly. We’ll send the jet to pick you up and take you back,” she says in a nonchalant tone.

“Mother, you know I don’t do planes since...” I feel the emotion pique in my voice, and I choke it back.

“Pish-posh. You can’t let what happened to Annie stop you from living your life. It’s been four years, Francine. It’s time to move on.” My mouth gapes open at her words.

Am I the only one who loved my sister? How can she act like being up in the air, helpless, under some random pilot’s control, isn’t a big deal after her own daughter died in a plane that went down somewhere over the Atlantic. The search went on for a couple of weeks, but all they found was part of the wing. The rest was never recovered.

There’s so much I want to say to her—no, to scream at her—about how I don’t understand how she’s not broken by Annie’s death like me. Unlike Arnold, I can say with the utmost certainty that the moment I knew my sister wasn’t coming back—that her body was likely deep in the dark water abyss, never to be seen again—I lost it. Things that mattered once before—parties, finding a husband, having a family—no longer registered. Zero attachment to anything became my new motto, one that led to me having numerous, purely physical relationships with men. I never want to feel the kind of pain I felt from her loss ever again.

But there’s no way I can explain all that to my mother. We might as well be from different planets when it comes to understanding one another’s feelings about what happened to my sister. There’s no use talking to her about it because she’ll never understand what I’ve lost.

“Frannie? Hello? Did you hear me?” Mother’s voice cuts through the haze of my thoughts.

“I’m here.”

“Well? What time would you like the jet there Friday to pick you up?” she asks, and I detect a hint of impatience in her voice as she waits on my answer.

“I’m sorry, Mother, but I won’t be able to make it this weekend. You’ll simply have to find someone else.”

“Francine—”

“No time to chat, my next appointment is due any time now. Goodbye, Mother.”

With that, I simply end the call, allowing no time for her to make me feel guilty for telling her no.

My finger slides over the phone, hunting for the one picture of Annie that I keep close. I stare at her vibrant smile, so full of life, and my eyes begin to burn as tears well up in them. There are so many things we planned to do together that will never happen now. How can I go on pretending life is fucking perfect when the one person in this world who felt like my other half is gone? The one person I shared everything with.

Sometimes, when I allow myself to think of her too much, I can’t hold back the pain. Hot tears slick down my cheeks as I try my best to hold in my sobs and not lose what little bit of control I still have.

My office door opens, startling me. I swat at the tears streaking down my face, attempting hide the fact that I’m teetering on the edge of yet another nervous breakdown while thinking about Annie.

Tyke’s green eyes lock with mine and concern instantly etches on his face. “Are you okay?”

I sniff. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

He closes the door behind him and takes a hesitant step toward me. “I’ve always been told when a woman says she’s ‘fine,’ it means just the opposite.”

I shake my head. “Things going on with me aren’t really open for discussion.”

From the slight tilt of his head, I can tell that he’s trying to figure me out. “Why?”

When he moves toward me, I step back, bumping into the desk. He’s close enough that the heat of his body radiates off him, causing a tingle to creep up my spine. I shouldn’t like being this close to him, but I do.

Too damn much.

Slowly he raises his hand to my face, and with the pad of his thumb, he brushes a lingering tear from my cheek. “How can you expect me to open up to you about my feelings when you won’t even tell me what’s made you cry?”

His thumb leaves a trail of fire in its wake, my skin begging him to touch me everywhere. But no matter how much my body craves his closeness, it can never happen. He’s off-limits.

He’s a client, for Christ’s sake.

The moment he cradles my face in his hands I begin to panic, knowing what would happen if I allow this kiss to occur. Is another random tryst worth losing this job? I’ve worked so hard for this, and not only would I be letting myself down, but I know Annie would be pissed at me, too. Even knowing all that, I can’t deny the attraction I feel toward him.

Tyke’s lips part slightly as he begins to lean into me. I place my hand against his chest. “We can’t do this,” I whisper.

His gaze locks with mine. “I know.”

I’m not sure if it’s the strain in his deep rumbling voice, or the fact that I’m emotionally vulnerable that makes me momentarily lose my resolve, but something comes over me and my hand against his chest relaxes and I fall into him a bit. Tyke seizes the opportunity and presses his lips to mine, my eyes closing of their own accord, my mouth betraying me by opening and allowing his tongue to slip inside. A low groan emits from the back of his throat as he wraps one arm around the small of my back and pushes his body against mine.

“You taste like sunshine,” he says between kisses.

My knees nearly buckle at his words, and I thread my fingers into his blond hair. This only excites him more. Tyke grabs my waist and hoists me onto my desk, pushing his hips between my legs, his erection straining through the coarse material of his jeans as he rubs against me and his kiss turns hungry.

I could give in right now and escape. His touch feels so good, it’s almost enough to make me forget where we are.

Almost.

I shove my hand into his chest, pushing him backward. “No. We can’t do this. I’ll lose my job.”

Tyke’s lust-laden gaze meets mine as his body stills. I fully expect him to try to convince me that we won’t get caught, but he doesn’t. He simply steps back and straightens his T-shirt while he nods. “I don’t want that to happen, but you can’t blame me for trying. You’re so fucking sexy, and your eyes...God, so damn blue—they’re intoxicating. I think I could stare into them forever. I guess I just couldn’t help myself.”

I bite my lip and stare at him as I hop off the desk. “We have to stay professional. This kind of thing can never happen between us again. No matter how much we both may want it to.”

That earns me a crooked smirk because I’ve just admitted that I want him. “I promise to be on my best behavior from now on, Doc.”

He grabs the notebook I didn’t realize he’d brought with him off my desk and saunters over to the couch. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help checking out his ass while his back is to me. That man is something—definitely a lot more suave than I’m used to. And his kiss...dear God. If just his kiss can tempt me to throw caution to the wind and nearly fuck the career I’ve worked so hard for, I can only imagine what sleeping with him would do to me.

Probably destroy me, and ruin me for all other men.

The moment he pats the seat next to him on the couch, my back straightens. There’s no way in hell I can be that close to him while being this turned on and expect things to stay innocent.

I grab my tablet, along with my glasses, and take the seat across from him.

He chuckles. “I suppose that’s safer.”

Blood rushes to my cheeks, no doubt showing off a fierce blush. “I think distance is best.”

He repositions himself, stretching his long legs out and throwing his arm casually across the back of the couch. “So what are we talking about today, Doc?”

There are so many things he and I could be talking about, but right now, I need to focus on the reason he’s here. My eyes flit to the notebook balancing on his left thigh. “I’m assuming you’ve written something down, since you’ve brought it with you.”

He taps his thumb on the cover a couple times and then shrugs. “Just one song.”

I slip my glasses on, ready to take some notes. “Care to share what it is?”

“‘Man in the Box’ by Alice in Chains. I know that’s probably not exactly what you were hoping for, but it was all that I could think of.”

I ponder over the song he’s just given, trying to recall in my brain the lyrics, but nothing comes up. “I’m sorry. I’m not familiar with that song. Can you tell me a little about what it’s about?”

Tyke smirks. “Not a metal fan then, huh?”

“Not really, no, but I know that’s what Black Falcon plays.” I blush again, knowing full well, after all my research that it’s the type of music he plays.

He picks at the thick leather cuff on his wrist. “It’s cool if you’re not a fan. Metal isn’t for everyone, I suppose, just please tell me you’re not one of those chicks who’s into the bubblegum sounding top forty hits. That would break my fucking heart.”

I laugh. “If you’re talking about all the music that sounds like it could be on the Disney channel then, no, but I won’t say I’m a pop hater. I like anything with a good beat, but I’m more of an alternative girl.”

That earns me a smile. “Alternative? Nice. I can work with that. I’ve been really diggin’ the Artic Monkeys lately.”

“I love them,” I say, excited that someone else appreciates the complex sound of that band. “‘Do I Wanna Know’ is one of my absolute favorite songs.”

That causes him to raise one eyebrow. “That’s a pretty deep song. Does it make you think of anyone when you listen to it?”

I instantly shake my head. “No. What makes you ask that?”

“That song is basically about a guy who is so lovesick he doesn’t know what to do with himself. I was curious if I need to be concerned that you’re already in love with someone else, and you turning me down a few minutes ago had more to it than just the off-limits factor. I like to know exactly what I’m up against.”

My stupid blush rushes back to my cheeks in full force as his eyes stay locked on mine, waiting for my answer. The heat of his stare is almost too much to take, and I’m tempted to drop my eyes away from his gaze, but I don’t. I want him to know that I’m in control of the situation going on between us.

After a long moment, I sigh. “There’s no one else, but—”

“That’s good to know,” he says, seemingly delighted by the news.

“I meant what I said before. Nothing can happen between us.”

He holds up a hand and tries to fight back a grin, like he knows no matter how much I resist, my giving into his advances is inevitable. “Strictly professional, I got it.”

I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose and say, “Good. Let’s get back to the song. I’m going to guess it’s about a man being trapped.”

Tyke nods. “Yeah. After being basically on lockdown in my room last night and ordered to be on time for breakfast, I feel a little closed up in this place.”

I make a note about checking into the daily routines of the clients a little more with Wayne. “What did you do when you went up to your room last night?”

“You want to imagine me in my room? Sleeping in the buff, perhaps?” His teasing tone doesn’t go unmissed, and I shake my head again at his crassness.

“I simply meant do you feel that you’re not getting adequate time to reflect on the day and unwind?”

“I never get that. Doing what I do for a living, there’s always somewhere to be, or something to be doing. I typically keep going until I pass out,” he answers.

“Pass out?” I question.

Tyke rolls his eyes, not missing what I was getting at. “From exhaustion.”

I frown. “That’s a shame. What good is it to be so successful if your life is no longer your own?”

“It is what it is, Frannie. Sacrificing your personal life is sort of expected in the music business.”

I knew musicians were always busy, but hearing it from him directly that he basically has no life other than his job makes me sad for him. “Why do you continue to do it if you’re not happy?”

“I love making music. It makes me happy. All the bullshit that goes along with it is what I hate. Once music is in your skin, it’s impossible to just scrub it away. It sticks with you, and like it or not, you’ll never be able to walk away, even if you want to. Just the thought of not being able to do this for a living makes me so fucking anxious that I can’t breathe.”

I make another note, beginning to understand where his addiction began. “So when the business side of the music came into play, adding pressure to your creative process, is that when you first began taking benzos?”

He fidgets in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with me getting down to the nitty-gritty so quickly. “I think so. It all began when I went to see my doctor and mentioned that I constantly felt anxious that something was going to happen with the band, that everything we’ve worked for would be yanked away from us.”

“And he wrote you a prescription for benzodiazepine to help calm your nervousness about the inability to control the outcome of your future?”

He nods. “Yeah. And then once I started taking them, I liked the way they made me feel. The way they helped me forget sometimes that the band falling apart is always a possibility.”

“So what led you to the point in your life where you determined that benzodiazepines alone was no longer enough of an escape?”

He rubs his palms up and down his thighs, along the material of his jeans, as he stares down at the floor. “I’m not sure exactly. I think everything began gradually. A bump of cocaine here and there, topped with the alcohol that we always partied with . . . I don’t know . . . I like the feeling of not worrying.”

My heart breaks for him. While I might not have turned to drugs to help mask the pain I felt after Annie died, I did turn to the one thing I found helped take my mind off it. “I can understand wanting to forget for a while.”

His eyes flick up to mine, and I can see the relief in them. “You can?”

I nod, feeling myself teetering on the edge of professionalism. Exactly how much of my own personal life should I be revealing to him? “I think everyone reaches a point in their lives when they want nothing more than to forget something, or forget the possibility that a good thing can go terribly wrong at any time.”

“You’ve felt that way?” he asks, his need to know the answer burning in his eyes. It’s like he wants confirmation that he’s not alone in struggling with the crazy feelings going on inside him.

I know it’s not professional, but I think sharing might be the only way to make him understand that everyone feels the way he does from time to time. “Yes, for a long time. My sister—my twin—died, and it’s a pain I’ve been running from for nearly four years.”

He licks his lips slowly as he digests what I’ve just told him. “What’s that like? Losing your twin?”

I sigh as the familiar pain grips my heart like a vice as I think about Annie. “I imagine losing anyone you love is probably hard, but in my mind there’s nothing that could be harder than losing my sister. She was the one person who understood everything about me, the one person who knew all my secrets and understood my crazy personality. It’s hard not having her in my life anymore. Annie” —I take in a ragged breath— “she was my other half, my soul mate, someone who can’t be replaced.”

I fully expect him to pepper me with more questions, but instead he returns his stare to the floor. I wonder if any of what I just told him makes sense.

I open my mouth to continue to push him for more about his reliance on benzodiazepine to forget, but close it the moment there’s a knock on my office door. “Excuse me a moment.”

I rise from my seat to answer the door, laying my notepad and pen on the couch next to Tyke.

I find Kimmy standing on the other side, wearing a hot pink top and jeans, chomping on a piece of gum. “Hey, Frannie. I’ve got to go into town to pick up some cleaning supplies in a bit. Do you want to come with me? It’s the perfect time to get out of here for a while.”

I glance down at the wristwatch I have on and nod. “Sure, our session time is up anyway. Let me wrap up, and I’ll be ready in a few minutes, okay?”

She nods. “Sure thing. I’ll wait for you on the porch.”

I close the door behind her and turn my attention back to Tyke, who is standing in the middle of the office now, watching me curiously, like he’s seeing me for the first time.

I interlock my fingers in front of me. “Sorry about that. I don’t mean to rush you or anything. If you need more time, I can—”

He shakes his head. “It’s okay. Go. I’ve got a splitting headache anyhow. I should probably go and lay down.”

This is it, I bet. The beginning to the detox he’s been so adamant that he’s not going to experience. “All right. I’ll see you again when you’re feeling well enough to continue our sessions.”

He rolls his eyes. “It’s just a headache. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

I give him a small smile. “Okay, then.”

Tyke doesn’t say another word, just walks past me and out the door.

As soon as I’m alone, I drop my head into my hand and rub my forehead. I hope I can help him. There’s always that little bit of niggling doubt in my head as to whether I’m cut out for this job or not. Can I really help people who have addictions when I still struggle with one myself? An addiction that’s become a whole lot harder to fight since I succumbed to that kiss? I should’ve known better and never allowed him to get so close. His physical presence just does something to me that I can’t explain. The moment I laid eyes on him, I knew he’d be my biggest professional challenge, but I didn’t anticipate the personal challenge as well. No matter how much I want him, I have to remain focused on the reason he’s here and try to help him overcome the darkness that threatens to envelope him.

I slump down in the chair next to the couch and reach for the notepad, my gaze pausing on what Tyke’s left behind.

A single green guitar pick.

I hold the thin piece of plastic between my fingers and examine the words he’s written on the back.

Thank you.

I fold my fingers around it and clutch it to my chest as pride washes over me.

I’m doing this.

I’m getting through to him.

Chapter 7

“Behind Blue Eyes” –Limp Bizkit

Tyke Climbing the massive staircase back to my room takes forever. The pounding in my skull began when Frannie and I were talking in her office. Through most of our time together, I could ignore the constant thumping, but now it’s almost unbearable.

My door swings open with ease and I collapse on the twin bed, facedown. Sweat pours out of me and drenches my shirt. I must be coming down with something. It feels like the fucking flu. This is not the most opportune time for me to be sick.

I rub my forehead and then fling the sweat from my fingers when it hits me.

“Fuck. Am I really fucking detoxing?” I mumble to myself.

But as my entire body trembles, I already have my answer.

Detoxing: Day One: It’s not pretty.

Day Two: Definitely not fucking pretty.

Day Three: Still bad, but nowhere as bad as yesterday.

Day Four: Almost there, but my anxiety levels are through the fucking roof.

Day Five: A New Leaf

I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder at what point in my life I decided to give so much power to some little goddamn pills. It makes me wonder if I had known that I would end up needing help to get off them a couple years ago, back when I started taking benzo medications, would I have ever taken them to begin with? I wish I could honestly say that I wouldn’t have touched them with a ten-foot fucking pole, but I don’t know if that would be the case.

Without them now, things are clearer. I can definitely see the demise of the band happening. The leading cause at this point is me, but I know now that it wasn’t just the drug haze. I haven’t simply imagined that Black Falcon has started going in different directions, because that shit is fucking true, and the guys need to accept their roles in the band falling apart, too.

The hard table is cold against my skin as I sit on it while Dr. Shepherd examines me. He takes his time, taking my blood pressure and then pulse, before he flashes a small light into my eyes.

“Go ahead and follow the light with your eyes, Mr. Douglas.”

I do as he asks, and he clicks the light off before placing the instrument back in its holder on the wall. “Everything looks good. How do you feel?”

I take a deep breath. “I’m grateful that I don’t feel like ass today.”

Dr. Shepherd chuckles. “Well, I suppose that’s a start. I know that the last few days have been difficult for you—”

“That’s the fucking understatement of the century,” I mutter, cutting him off.

He continues like he didn’t even hear my smartass remark. “But think of it as crossing the first big hurdle in your recovery. During what you’ve just been through, most people give up and quit—unable to take the sickness that goes along with ridding the drugs from their system. Now that you’re clean, the rest is up to you and your willpower. You have to fight to stay that way.”

I nod, knowing that if I start fucking up again, it’s no one else’s fault but mine. I make the decision. I make the call.

Dr. Shepherd tucks my chart under his arm. “Today I want you to join in group therapy.”

I raise my eyebrow. “Group? How is talking to a bunch of complete strangers going to help?”

“Most clients find it beneficial to listen to the stories of others. A lot of the time, it helps them to realize that they’re not alone—that addiction knows no gender, color, or age. It can happen to anyone, so there’s no reason to feel isolated.”

I want to argue that I’ve never felt alone, but the truth is that loneliness is all I’ve felt over the past couple of years. Not to sound like a whiny bitch, but it’s hard to watch everyone around you move the focus of their life to something else while you’re still trapped in the same routine. It’s not that I’m jealous that the rest of the guys in the band have done that, I just feel left out—like the band, and me, don’t matter to them anymore. And that scares me more than anything.

It’s been easier than I thought to admit that to myself in the last twenty-four hours, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to talk to a group of complete fucking strangers about it.

I rub the back of my neck. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to speak in group unless you want to,” he assures me. “It’s okay to just go and listen, and when you’re ready, jump in.”

As much as I want to avoid the situation, I also want to prove to everyone that the new, clearer thinking me is not always a difficult person. “Okay.”

“Great.” Dr. Shepherd smiles encouragingly. “I’ll make sure Dr. Mead saves you a seat.”

My ears prick up at the sound of her name. I haven’t seen Frannie since the day I overstepped the boundary and kissed her, the image of her blue eyes, focused on me when she had tears in them, burned into my brain. It was the one picture that kept flashing in my mind as I went through the pure hell of detoxing. I know she’s here to help me, but I just can’t shake the feeling that, for some reason, I can support her in return.

I nod, suddenly excited about this group thing. “Great.”

Dr. Shepherd grins. “That’s the right attitude, Mr. Douglas. It’s good to see you positive and on the road to recovery.”

I hop off the table, and a thought comes to mind. “Do you think it’d be okay if I took my guitar and found a quiet place out in the garden to work on some songs?”

“That’s perfectly fine. It’s good to focus on something else besides being here. I’ll see you at dinner.”

A little while later, I make my way back to my room and grab my baby from the corner, slinging the soft case around my shoulder and heading outside. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Riff was right when he said I didn’t have a fucking clue what was going on with the new album, and that bothers me. It tells me that I allowed the drugs to come between me and my music, and that’s one thing that I never thought possible. But it happened. Drugs became the most important thing in my life. But not anymore. I’m getting myself back on the right track.

Starting today.

Walking down the path toward the cottages that the staff live in, I spot the most tranquil-looking fountain. The water coming from the bucket of the stone woman in the middle spews into the body of water surrounding her, and the sound is almost rhythmic.

I glance around, seeing four benches surrounding the fountain mixed in with a wide array of flowers. If there was ever a more tranquil place on earth, I’d like to see it.

I lay my case on a bench and then unzip it, reaching inside for my Martin. This carefully crafted piece of wood has been in my family for years. It belonged to my grandfather, who taught Dad to play on it, who in turn taught Trip and me. This isn’t just any guitar to me. It’s a little piece of home.

I hold it by the neck until I make it to another empty bench and sit down, the strings ringing out in perfect tune as I run my pick over them. My calloused fingers mash against the frets and I begin to play the first song that comes to mind, “Behind Blue Eyes.”

I close my eyes, singing the words while picturing Frannie’s face. The sadness I saw in her eyes makes me wonder if she feels the loneliness, too—the kind where, although people surround you, it’s still like being alone.

There’s so much in this song that I can relate to. The lyrics roll through me, working their way into my chest, and wrapping around my heart. With each beat, the pressures that I’ve been struggling to forget come at me in full force. The line about being hated and no one understanding my loneliness really hits home.

My life is so fucking screwed up.

I rock in time to the music and moisture builds under my closed eyelids, the tears threatening to push their way out and expose my sadness to the world.

I sing the last line and play the last riff, sighing as I open my eyes.

My heart does a double thump in my chest the moment my vision comes into focus, and my eyes land directly on Frannie.

She stands behind the bench rubbing her bare arms, studying me with those same eyes I was just singing about—sad ones.

I clear my throat, suddenly uneasy that she’s caught me at such a vulnerable moment. “I didn’t know anyone would be out here.”

Her pretty pink lips twist. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spy on you. It’s just your singing...it was...wow. You’re amazing.”

The kindness in her words makes me smile. “Thank you.”

Without an invitation, she walks over and sits next to me on the bench. I raise one eyebrow, questioning if sitting so close to me is suddenly allowed, but she just rolls her eyes at me. “We can behave, right?”

I nod, but know that given the opportunity, I’d kiss her again. No hesitation.

“Good,” she says and then folds her hands in her lap. “Will you tell me what you were thinking of just now, when you were singing?”

My entire body tenses. Shit. I guess she did see that. The only thing I can do now is pretend like I don’t know what she’s talking about. “What makes you think I was thinking about anything? Can’t I just be really focused on the song?”

Frannie tilts her head, allowing her dark hair to fall over her shoulder. “I saw you,” she whispers. “No one can sing with that kind of feeling without something coming to mind.”

I break away from her gaze, debating what to say next.

“Please, Tyke.” She places her hand on mine that rests on the top of the guitar.

For some reason, the simple act of her touching me makes me want to spill my guts to her, but I’m afraid if she knew what was really on my mind, she’d freak the fuck out and treat me just like any other patient. And I don’t want that. I don’t want to be looked down on, which is why the things I really feel will always need to be locked away. But I can tell by the way she’s looking at me that I’ll have to give her some part of the truth to appease her curious mind.

I take a deep breath and then return my gaze to her. Looking her dead in the eye, I say, “You. I was thinking about you.”

Frannie sucks her bottom lip in and then pulls it between her teeth slowly as she considers what I’ve just admitted. “Me?”

“I can’t get the thought of us out of my mind. Your eyes...” I raise my hand and touch her cheek. “Your eyes haunt me.”

She blinks a couple of times. “Behind blue eyes...you were thinking about when I was crying?”

“Yeah, I mean, you looked so sad. You looked like how I feel sometimes,” I admit to her rather easily.

She tilts her head. “Do you feel that way often?”

I sigh and scrub my hand down my face. “I know what you’re getting at, Frannie. I’m not suicidal. Not now. No matter what that file says about me.”

“So when you crashed your car—”

I cut her off, explaining the best I can. “Have you ever felt like you were nothing? Like you were so inconsequential that it didn’t matter if you even lived anymore?” Tension strains my already shaky voice. “That’s what landed me in here, Frannie. Black Flacon is falling apart, and it’s fucking killing me. I’ll be lost if I lose my music.

“The guys in my band were right. I have a problem. If I hadn’t been totally blitzed out of my fucking mind the night I crashed, I wouldn’t have been so reckless. I’m usually the cautious one—the worrier—but I can’t sit here and lie to you and say the thought of leaving everything in this fucking world behind hasn’t crossed my mind a time or two. And you know what? I wouldn’t have even cared if I hurt anyone else by doing it. I can see now with a clear head that I do have a problem.”

She grips my hand tightly in hers, a small gesture that speaks volumes. She does understand. “When something you love so much slips away from you, it’s hard to go on. I understand that more than anyone else. I’m still healing from the loss of my sister, but the one thing that has helped me the most is finding a new focus. For me, it was school and learning how to help other people.”

Frannie stares at me for a long moment, gauging my reaction. When I don’t immediately respond, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I know what it’s like to want to lose yourself.”

I stare at our connected hands while the same thought runs through my mind over and over, pushing me to tell her how I’m feeling. “I wish you weren’t my doctor so I could kiss you right now.”

When my gaze meets hers, she whispers, “I wish that, too.”

There we sit, at an impossible crossroad. Our desire for one another evident, but our circumstances preventing us from ever acting on it. The most beautiful woman in the world who seems to completely get me is off-limits, and I already know simply being around her without touching her is going to be pure fucking hell.

I pull her hand to my lips. “Maybe someday, when I’m out of here, our dreams will become reality.”

Her breath catches the moment I kiss her skin, and I know she feels it, too—the overwhelming desire to be something more. “Tyke—”

“Don’t,” I plead. “Don’t tell me again how we’re never going to happen.”

“No matter if you’re out of here or not, a relationship between us would never work.”

“Why?” I tilt my head. “If something is meant to be, it will happen. Like us. I don’t know why, but I have this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that we met for a reason.”

She sighs. “We did meet for a reason.”

“I’m not talking about what landed me in here, Frannie. I’m talking the big picture here. I don’t know why, but I feel like we can help each other, like we’re—” I stop myself from saying what’s on the tip of my tongue because it sounds totally lame and semi-creepy.

“Like we’re meant to be?” she questions, a hint of a smile on that sexy mouth of hers.

I shrug, embarrassed. “Sounds fucking ridiculous, right?”

She gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “No, it doesn’t. I can’t tell you how often I’ve thought of you the last few days. Especially at night, when I’m alone.”

A fiery blush assaults her cheeks, and I know exactly just how she was picturing me. My cock jerks in my jeans at the memory of how close we were to saying “fuck it” in her office and just going for it. The thought of how it felt when her mouth melted with mine causes my stomach to flip with anticipation, instantly wanting to feel that once again.

I lick my lips and stare into her eyes as her lips part. She wants me to kiss her. She’s practically begging me for it as she leans into me. All I would have to do is inch forward and it would be all over. We’d be crossing a line, but I think it’ll be worth it.

I reach up and stroke her cheek. “You don’t know how bad I want you right now.”

She leans into my touch, batting her eyes. “Not as much as I you.”

That’s when I lose it and cross the line. I know I shouldn’t, but after hearing that she wants me too, it’s impossible to resist the taste of her mouth. I lean in and crush my mouth to hers, enjoying the taste of her sensual lips. Carefully, I set my guitar down, and then cradle her face in my hands.

“This is wrong,” she murmurs between kisses as I pull her onto my lap.

“I know,” I agree but flick my tongue into her mouth.

She hikes her dress up and straddles me, and God, I know this is wrong but I don’t have the fucking willpower to stop it. I want her too damn much.

I begin to work on the buttons on the front of her dress and she wraps her hand around my wrist. “Not out here. Not in the open.”

She pushes herself off me and begins to walk backward into the thick forest surrounding us. I watch as her eyes beacon me to follow. It’s then I know.

I would follow her anywhere.

Chapter 8

“Desire” – Meg Myers

Frannie When Tyke’s hand meets mine, I can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s just as hungry for this as I am. I know I’m breaking every single rule I set for myself, but there’s something about him that I just can’t resist. The thing is, even though I don’t know him extremely well, this doesn’t feel like it’s just about sex. We actually have a connection. Most men I’ve had random moments of passion with I didn’t even know their names, let alone have them open up to me the way Tyke has.

I know he still has an addiction issue, but hell, I can’t fault him for that. Look at me right now, falling back into my old ways, seeking comfort in physical intimacy, even though I’m risking everything for it.

I pull him further into the trees until the sun is no longer shining down on us, just merely squeaking through the autumn leaves.

“How much farther do we need to go?” he questions.

“Far enough that we won’t be caught,” I answer. “No one can ever know about this.”

Hopefully, one time with Tyke will be enough to curb this damn craving. If I can just fuck him and get it out of my system, maybe I can focus more on my actual job, rather than allowing him to take up all the space in my brain.

We come to a stack of flagstones: solid and appearing almost like a small table, made by nature. I pull him over to them, and he swiftly picks me up and sets me down on the rock. It’s cool against my skin as his skillful hands slide my dress up, revealing the bare skin of my thighs.

He leans in to kiss me again, and I press my index finger to his lips. “Promise me, this stays just between us.”

The heat of his stare overwhelms me as he tilts his head and runs his tongue along the side of my finger and when he bites the tip, my panties nearly incinerate on the spot. Dear God. Where did this man learn to be so damn sexy?

“I swear. If you don’t want anyone to know, then this stays our secret,” he whispers before he leans in and kisses the tender flesh below my ear. “I want you. I’ll follow whatever rules you want.”

With those words from his lips, every ounce of rational thought flies out of my head and I let go, giving into my body’s desires as I pull back and then crush my lips to his. My fingers thread through his thick blond hair, and I whimper the moment his tongue clashes with mine.

His hands slide under my dress as I wrap my legs around his waist and grind my pelvis against the hard length in his jeans. His kiss sears me and warmth spreads over the entire length of my body, the material of Tyke’s dark red T-shirt crumpling in my palms as I clutch it hard and tug it over his head.

When my eyes drift down to his body, I lick my lips in anticipation. His chest is toned, tanned, and beautiful. It reminds me of one of those naked male sculptures that only few men in this world actually resemble, the pronounced “V” that makes women lose their minds on full display as it dips down into his jeans, pointing me in the direction I should go next.

I move my hand down to the button of his jeans while he pulls on the straps of my dress, exposing the tops of my breasts. His head dips down and his lips caress the soft skin on my chest while his fingers work down the lace of my bra. My nipples pucker as soon as the cool air wafts over them.

“So goddamn beautiful,” Tyke murmurs, before closing his mouth around the taut pink skin.

As we continue to tear away each other’s clothing, the sound of both of our panting fills my ears. We take turns exploring, kissing, and tasting each other’s flesh until we are both down to just our underwear. Tyke grabs the sides of my panties and drags them down my legs, leaving me completely naked before him. He hooks his arms under my thighs and pulls my hips to the edge of the rock, dropping to his knees and resting my legs on his shoulders as he uses his fingers to splay open my most sensitive flesh and then plunges his tongue inside.

The warmth of his mouth on me causes my entire body to writhe. My hips rotate while my head drops back. “Oh God,” I pant.

My pleas of desire only excite him more as his tongue continues to lap my folds before sucking on my clit.

“Tyke,” I half whisper, half moan his name as I jam my fingers into his hair.

It doesn’t take long for that familiar euphoric feeling of an impending orgasm to rush through my body—the same feeling I turned to in order to forget, at least for a while.

Every nerve ending in my body ignites as I let loose and fall into the bliss of pure ecstasy. I writhe beneath him as he continues to kiss a path up my stomach and then to my breasts. Finally, his lips connect with mine and our mouths meld together, my arousal still evident as our tongues intertwine. If it wasn’t happening to me right this very second, I would never believe that, even after an orgasm I could still be this turned on. I don’t think I’ve ever craved a man inside me as much as I do Tyke Douglas.

I press my pussy against his crotch and rub myself against his cock, still restrained by his boxer briefs. “I want you.”

He inhales sharply through his nose and then blows his hot breath across my lips. “I want you, too, but I don’t . . . we can’t . . . fuck.” He drops his forehead to my shoulder, defeated. “I don’t have a condom.”

I let out a deflated breath, but the need for him still throbs deep within me. I debate for a long moment, worried that we may never get another chance to be alone. “Have you been tested lately?”

He raises his head and stares at me. There’s no mistaking the wheels turning in his brain as he tries to figure out where I’m going with this question. “Dr. Shepherd tested me for everything the first day I came in, and I got a clean bill of health. Have you been tested?”

I nod. “I get tested after each sexual partner I’ve had.”

I feel a twinge of guilt for not telling him exactly how many times that’s been, but considering he’s a rock star, I’m sure his numbers are still higher than mine.

“Look, Tyke, we’re both adults and have been tested. I’m okay with no condom if you are, as long as you pull out. I’m not on any birth control.”

He lifts one eyebrow. “You’re not a virgin, are you?”

“No,” I laugh. “Far from it.”

He grins. “Good. The last thing I want is some psycho, over twenty-five virgin becoming obsessed with me for taking her most prized possession.”

I roll my eyes. “That ship has long since sailed.”

He laughs with me for a moment before becoming deadly serious again as he presses his still hard cock against my wet flesh. “Okay. One time. I’m in no fucking shape to be a father right now.”

“Agreed,” I add and earn what I can only describe as a look of offense on Tyke’s face. “Not that I’m saying you’re not father material. I just mean me. I’m not ready for kids, either.” I quickly rush to make him understand what I meant.

He kisses my lips. “I knew what you meant. I’m just fucking with you.”

I bite my lip as a surge of bravery shoots through me and I tell him, “I’d rather you just be fucking me.”

He growls as he cups my breast in his hand. “That can most definitely be arranged.”

The playful tone in his voice is soon replaced by a wicked gleam in his eyes—one that tells me he’s most definitely ready to fulfill my last request. With a swift movement of his hand, the gray briefs disappear and his thick cock springs out. I reach between us, eager to touch and explore his beautiful body. His flesh is warm and silky as my fingers run along the length of his shaft.

I know it’s completely ludicrous to call a cock stunning, but it’s the only word that comes to mind as I gaze upon this magnificent man before me.

I lick the palm of my hand and then wrap my fingers around his cock, giving it a few long strokes. Tyke’s head falls back, and his mouth drifts open as I work him.

“Shit,” he murmurs as he licks his lips then brings his face back up so he can stare at me with his lust-coated eyes. He reaches out and flicks his thumb over my still erect nipple. “You don’t know how good your touch feels.”

I bite my lip as the memory of how damn good he made my body feel floods me, and instantly, I crave that euphoria again.

“I think I have a pretty good idea,” I say, edging closer to the end of the stone and guiding his cock up and down my folds, making impact with my clit each time.

Tyke sucks a quick breath through his teeth. “Jesus. You’re still so fucking wet.”

I lean in and lick his parted lips. “It’s because I want you inside me so damn bad.”

He crushes his mouth to mine as he thrusts his hips forward and the tip of his cock teases my entrance. “This? Is this what you want?”

My thighs spread wider, and I grab his ass. “Yes.”

“Need it?” he questions, inching forward.

“Oh, God, yes.” Even I can hear the pleading in my voice as I beg him to give me more. “I do.”

He trails his nose along my jawline. “Tell me what you want me to do to you, Frannie.”

Chills shoot down my spine as my entire body covers with goose bumps. I don’t remember ever wanting a man this much. No one has ever brought me to the edge and allowed me to teeter on the cliff of desire as long as Tyke has, and, God, the anticipation is killing me.

“Say it,” he coaxes. “I want to hear the dirty words coming out of your sexy mouth.”

“Fuck me, Tyke. I want you to fuck me,” I whisper against his lips.

As soon as the words touch the air, he thrusts his dick inside me. My pussy immediately clamps around him, holding him there.

“Fucking heaven,” he breathes, moving at a deliciously slow pace. He drops his head and rests his forehead on my shoulder. “I don’t know how long I’m going to last because it feels too—damn—good.”

I run my nails down his back, and he looks up to lock his gaze with mine. “Then fuck me hard and make it fucking count.”

My words must ignite something within him because he snakes his arms under mine and grips my shoulders, locking me into place. His thrusts pick up speed. “You like it hard?”

“Yes,” I hiss.

I close my eyes, loving the way every inch of me is on fire for this man. The sound of our skin slapping echoes around us in the otherwise quiet forest, turning me on even more.

He fists my hair, pulling my head back, forcing me to look at him. “Watch me while I fuck you. I want to see you. I want to look in your eyes when you come with me inside you.”

The constant rhythm of him driving into me as deep as he can causes that familiar tingle to erupt throughout my body. I pant, and the urge to give in to the feeling and close my eyes rushes over me, but Tyke’s hold on me reminds me he wants to see me fall apart.

My mouth drifts open and a low moan rolls out of me as my second orgasm hits me hard. “Oh God. Tyke, yes.”

“That’s right, baby, come for me. Remember it’s me who makes you feel like this,” he chants as he watches me come undone before him.

His thrusts become more rigid as he pounds into me, seeking his own release while I’m still on my high. A string of unintelligible curses fly from his mouth as he comes hard.

“Shit,” he yells as he realizes he’s coming inside me.

He pulls his cock out just in time for me to watch one small shot of thick white come shoot onto the outer lips of my pussy. It’s hard to tell, but it looks like there’s some oozing out of me as well.

He grips a handful of his hair and stares down at his come dripping out of me. “Fuck. Jesus. Frannie, I’m sorry. I didn’t pull out in time. I was just so caught up in feeling you. If something happens, I want you to know I’ll take care of it.”

I shake my head as I hop off the rock—the lust-filled moment I was just living suddenly darkened by the reality of what has happened.

I grab my underwear off the ground. “It’s okay, Tyke. What are the odds of anything happening, right? It was an accident. One we won’t let happen again.”

I know it’s a lame attempt to console him. He’s no idiot. He knows just as well as I do what we just did is legitimately concerning.

He nods as he watches me put my clothes back on. “Still, if you get pregnant, you tell me. We’ll take care of it.”

The word abortion rolls around in my brain for a moment. While I’m not against a woman having the right to choose what to do with her body at all, doing that just isn’t for me. I always told myself when I was fucking around before that if that happened with a man I didn’t know well or wasn’t in a good relationship with, I would give up the child for adoption. But there’s no need to go into any of that with Tyke.

I finish the last button on my dress just as Tyke buttons his jeans. His green eyes are filled with concern as he watches me, waiting for me to agree to the abortion if a pregnancy does happen.

I debate whether to tell him my true feelings about the situation but decide against it. At some point, he’ll leave this place, and what happens to me will be none of his concern.

“You’ll let me know, right?” he questions again.

I pat his chest as I walk by him. “Sure.”

That’s the last thing I say as I walk away, leaving him standing in the middle of the deserted woods, alone.

Chapter 9

“The Morning After” –Meg Myers

Frannie The lavender soap lathers easily against my skin, cleaning every trace of Tyke Douglas from my body. On one hand, our stolen moment together in the woods was one of the most exhilarating experiences I’ve ever had. We shared a true connection, unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. On the other hand, being hit with the harsh realization that the act was “just sex” has never happened to me like that before. Sure, I’ve had countless, meaningless trysts with random strangers, but never have I felt immediate regret for allowing myself to get so out of control. I shouldn’t have had sex with him without a condom. I’m fucking smarter than that. I don’t know why I allowed it to happen.

Well, that’s not strictly true. I’m attracted to him, and God, him singing a song about me—I lost all resolve. I wanted him right then and there. To hell with the consequences.

I rinse my body clean, dry off, and then quickly dress in a black dress suit. Tonight, after dinner, will be my first group therapy session including Tyke. I don’t know how I’m going to hold it together when I see him. My stupid emotions are everywhere. The attraction I was hoping would go away after I allowed him to ravage my body is still there, if not stronger than before. What happened out in those woods can never happen again. It’s too big of a risk, not only to my job, but to my heart, too.

Every woman has an ideal man, a dream man, and Tyke Douglas is exactly that for me. He’s sweet, amazingly talented, and insanely sexy. On top of that, knowing that he thinks about me, actually caring that I’m sad . . . there’s absolutely no resisting that package. I’ll need to keep my distance, no matter how much I’m tempted.

Once I’m presentable, I step out of the cottage and make my way up toward the main house. When I’m only a few feet away, I hear a door close behind me and Kimmy’s voice calls for me to wait up.

I turn in time to see Kimmy bounding up to me, wearing yet another adorable outfit that gives her the appearance of being younger than she actually is.

“Hey, Frannie. What’d you spend your afternoon doing?” She matches my pace as I continue on to the house.

“Nothing much. Hung out in my room mostly.” Lying to her about my afternoon is absolutely vital. “How about you?”

She shrugs. “I stayed in the main house and read a book. Not having cable sucks. I miss reality TV.”

I nod. “I’ve noticed there aren’t any televisions on the property. Why is that?”

“Dr. Shepherd says he wants to eliminate as much negative drama from the clients as possible, since some of them are famous and all. But, if you ask me, not allowing TV is dumb, especially considering he doesn’t confiscate their phones.” She pops her gum as we step up onto the porch.

“You’re right,” I agree. “It’s not like they can’t Google themselves—if their phones actually get service here. I’ve noticed mine is spotty at best, and I drop a lot of calls.”

“It’s these damn mountains. They make it impossible to get a lot of things out here.” She steps up on the porch and then heads toward the side of the house.

“You aren’t coming to dinner?” I ask, wondering where she’s going.

She shakes her head. “Nope. I’m going in to use Dr. Shepherd’s computer. It’s a school night for me.”

I smile, remembering that she told me when I met her that she was taking online classes while she worked on getting into design. “I’ll see you later then. Have fun studying.”

Walking into the kitchen, the spicy scent of grilled meat floats around me and I lick my lips as the aroma fills my nose. “Hey, Sue. Need some help?”

She smiles as she looks up from the chocolate cake she’s frosting. “Hello, Frannie. Thanks for the offer, but I’m just about finished. Hope you’re hungry.”

“Starved,” I tell her with a smile as I pass through on my way to the dining room.

Most of the clients are already seated at the table. I scan the faces and find myself disappointed that Tyke’s not here yet. The urge to kick myself comes over me. How stupid am I to be so excited to see him again. I just vowed to stay away from him.

“Hey, Dr. Mead,” Randall says, nudging the chair beside him. “This seat is open.”

A small amount of relief floods me. Sitting here guarantees that I won’t have to sit next to Tyke. I squeeze into the seat between Randall and Arnold. Like a gentleman, Randall stands to push the chair in behind me.

“Thank you,” I say, watching as Josie, sitting on the other side of Randall, shoots an evil look in my direction.

Clearly, she thinks I’m encroaching on her territory.

Seconds later, Tyke enters the room and sits in the same seat he’s been at since his arrival. He’s eaten all his meals sitting next to me, so far. His confused green eyes rake over me. After the way I left him standing in the woods, I don’t know why me moving to another seat surprises him. We had sex—a one-time thing. There’s no need to keep up the charade of being close when we both know there’s no real future.

Randall turns toward me with a polite smile. “So, Dr. Mead—”

“Frannie, please,” I quickly correct him.

His smile widens. “Okay, Frannie it is, then. What I was about to ask is if you have any big weekend plans two weeks from now?”

I shake my head. “Not really.”

“Do you like art?”

“Yes. I appreciate art in a variety of forms.” My mind automatically drifts back to Tyke singing and how beautiful that was. He is truly an artist.

“Well, as you know, I’m the activities director, and from time to time I like to plan outings for the clients. There’s an art gallery in a city that’s not too far from here, and I was thinking it would be nice to get out. Would you be interested in being the second chaperone?”

The idea of leaving the property for a while is enticing. “I’d love that.”

“Great.” Randall drums his fingers on the top of the table in a fit of glee and then addresses the rest of the table. “Everyone? Can I have your attention?”

The small chitchat at the table stops and everyone focuses on Randall—everyone but Tyke, who’s staring directly at me. His eyes bore into me as he tilts his head toward the seat next to him. I give my shoulders a slight shrug and pull my lips into a tight line.

I know he wants more of an explanation than that. Hell, if I were him, I would, too. But what can I tell him? Thanks for the sex? Maybe now, since we’ve acted on our desire for one another, we can focus on being strictly professional? He doesn’t want to hear that. He probably won’t even care.

“In two Saturdays, we are going out as a group to the art gallery. For those of you who would like to go, please see me after dinner and express your interest,” Randall announces. “For those of you who do not wish to go, Dr. Shepherd and Timothy will be here on staff so that you may stay behind for independent reflection.”

The clients’ excitement is evident. They must like getting out of here from time to time, since most of them are here for at least a month or more.

For the rest of the meal, I feel the tension emanating from Tyke. Every time I look in his direction, his eyes are fixed on me. If he’s not careful, people are going to figure out something is going on between us and start prying, asking questions, and I’ll be forced to lie.

No one can ever know what we did.

When everyone is finished, Randall stands, and the clients immediately flock to him. Excited murmurs fill the room as everyone rushes to tell him they want to go.

I stand and head for the foyer, needing to prepare for the group session I’m about to lead. When I get to the room, the door closing behind me startles me. Quickly, I whip around and my heart thumps against my ribs.

Tyke stands a few mere feet from me, a perplexed expression on his face. “Do you want to tell me what the hell that was about back there?”

I shake my head and turn back toward the table, focusing on the handouts I prepared for the session earlier in the day. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Unsatisfied with that answer, he steps next to me and grabs my wrist, turning me, forcing me to look at him. “Yes, you do. What’s with the cold shoulder? I thought we had things figured out?”

I narrow my eyes and jerk my hand away from him. “Look, Tyke, I’m not interested in being your fuck-buddy while you’re stuck here. We had sex—one time. It’s not going to happen again.”

He shoves his fingers into his hair and sighs. “I don’t think of you that way.”

I want to believe that. To feel that I’m more to him than just some easy lay. After seeing how much emotion he put into that song he sang about me, it seems like I mean something to him.

“How do you think of me then?” I ask before I even realize I’ve said the question out loud.

He licks his lips and takes a determined step toward me, my hips fitting perfectly in his hands as he pulls me against his chest. “You’ve taken up every spare inch in my brain since I got here, Frannie.”

I take a deep breath. “Don’t tell me lies, even if they’re sweet. You don’t have to do that with me. If you just want sex—”

He tips my chin up with his index finger. “I don’t.”

“Don’t,” I repeat and then close my eyes unable to look at him. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. I know what this is. I’ve been in situations like this before.”

He tilts his head. “Why?”

I flinch back and do my best to evade it. “Why what?”

“Why do you think I’m just using you? Don’t you feel it?” he whispers, and the warmth of his breath floats across my lips. “The connection we have is insane. There’s no faking that. What’s happening between us is more than just sex, Frannie.”

While I’ve felt an array of emotions for Tyke Douglas, the invisible rope pulling us together is just too strong. “Tyke...”

“There’s no need to deny it. It’s written all over your face that you feel the same way.”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. Soon you’ll be gone, back on the road, and where will that leave me? If we get caught, I’ll be jobless. I’ll have nothing, and you’ll have moved on and all this will have been for nothing.” Tears threaten to spill from eyes as I explain our reality to him. “There will never be an us. Ever. It’s not worth the risk.”

“So that’s it? You’re done? Just like that? Can you really walk away from this—from the possibility of an ‘us’?”

“Tyke, what choice do I have?” The quiver in my voice tells me I won’t be able to hold the tears back much longer.

“You always have a choice, Frannie.” He steps back and grabs his chest with both hands, fisting the dark fabric of his T-shirt. “Choose me. We’ll leave this place together.”

“I’ve worked too hard. I can’t—I won’t—walk out on a career for a man I barely know.”

My heart squeezes in my chest as I see how desperate he is to hang on to what little bit of a relationship we’ve started, and how much my harsh words are a slap in the face. As much as I wish we could have a fairy tale romance, I know this is reality and happily ever afters don’t happen to broken people like us. It’s best to cut things off now, before we get in any deeper. “Besides, you’re not ready to run away from here. You still need help.”

His face contorts with pain as he steps back from me. “You still think I’m a druggie, and yet you fuck me?” He turns away from me and locks his fingers behind his head. “So we’re done? Just like that? Got what you wanted and now you’re ready to bounce? You’re just like everybody else in my life. You used me.”

“Tyke.” I reach for him but quickly pull back, knowing that while it makes me a cruel bitch to hurt him like this, it’s the right thing to do.

For both of us.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. The second he exhales, a look of clarity shines in his eyes. They meet mine. “Fine. If that’s how you want it, I won’t bother you again.”

My lower lip trembles as I pretend to be unfazed by his decision, lifting my chin defiantly. “I think it’s best for both of us to remain strictly professional and pretend that we never allowed things to—”

He holds up his hand, and his expression contorts once again. “Distance. I got it. Consider this afternoon forgotten.”

I hate that I’m hurting him, but I don’t know another way to end this before we get too deep and I allow my heart to be crushed. I promised myself I would never care for anyone again. I don’t want to ever feel the pain that comes when a person leaves you forever. But the way he’s looking at me...it’s almost too much to bear.

The door opens and we immediately step away from each other. The rest of the clients filter into the room, and I’m suddenly paranoid that they’ll be able to feel the tension in the between us.

Tyke walks over and takes the seat furthest from where I’m standing. He stretches his long legs out and then throws one arm over the back of the metal chair next to him.

He doesn’t look in my direction again.

Chapter 10

“Wicked Game” – Stone Sour

Tyke As I sit here locked in a room full of people struggling with addictions, I know the point is to listen to their stories and find comfort in the fact that I’m not alone. The problem is, right now, I feel more alone than ever. Frannie’s words still ring in my head. I don’t know why I thought she was different; that I was special to her. It’s my own fault for reading into something that was never really there. She was right. We barely know each other.

I do my best not to look at her as she sits across from me and leads the group therapy session.

Now that I’ve tasted her, I don’t know if I can ever pretend that I haven’t. I get that this job means a lot to her, and that she wants to protect it, but doesn’t she care about hurting me?

“—and that’s when I knew I had a problem. I couldn’t get my life back on track when she turned me down for the prom.” I fight the urge to roll my eyes at this idiot.

The only thing I know about this Arnold guy is that he’s never been able to get over his high school crush turning him down. He’s a fucking nut job. Who lingers for years on a woman turning them down? A woman he never had a shot at to begin with.

Next time I see Dr. Shepherd, I’m going to request not to come to any more of these sessions. What will listening to some crazy guy babble on do for me?

I shift my weight in my chair, catching the attention of Josie Sullivan. She smiles at me from the next chair over, biting her lip and motioning to the empty seat I’m resting my arm on. I shrug. Josie takes that as an invitation and slides over next to me. At first I think about moving my arm, not wanting to lead her on because I’m simply not interested, but then I glance across the room and catch Frannie’s perplexed expression. I know it’s a dick move, but I want to make her jealous. I want to show her that just because she doesn’t want me, doesn’t mean that someone else won’t.

Josie is an attractive woman. Fake, but attractive all the same. I’ve spoken to her in passing at the Grammys, but she was more interested in hitting on Noel. She’s a known fame-whore, and rumor has it she slept her way to her first record deal.

Josie’s brown eyes stare up at me, and she flashes her best flirty smile. “Thanks for the seat.”

As Arnold continues to prattle on about his most debilitating moments as a teenager, I lean into Josie’s ear and whisper, “You’re most welcome.”

My eyes flit in Frannie’s direction. I see the pain in her eyes as she focuses all her attention on Josie and me, and that’s when I know it’s not over between us, giving me all the motivation I need not to give up just yet.

I make it to Frannie’s office well before our scheduled appointment time. Last night while I lay awake in my bed, I did nothing but think of her. Making her jealous yesterday was fucked up on my part, but I was hurt and I couldn’t help but lash out.

I tried to convince myself to let her go, but I still want her. There’s no denying that. But it can’t just be me—I want her to want me back just as much. The file she has on me probably gives her the impression that I’m some womanizing man-whore who has no feelings, and I hate that. I don’t want her to write me off just because she thinks what we did in the woods meant nothing. I need to make her see that I meant what I said about our connection being strong, and that I feel that, for some reason, we are fated to be together.

I pull out another green guitar pick and write two simple words, Miss you, on the back, sticking it between the petals of the red rose I picked from the garden on my way here. I think about laying it on her desk, right in the open, to make sure she sees it, but decide it’s better for her to find it after I leave. I place the flower on her chair and then push it under her desk, hiding it from sight.

After I’m satisfied with the flower placement, I take a seat on the couch and wait for Frannie. Moments later she comes waltzing into the room, her dark hair pulled up, showing off her slender neck. The black fitted jacket and skirt she has on gives off an extra edge of professionalism that I know is a message to me. It doesn’t make her any less appealing, though.

“You look beautiful,” I tell her as she takes the seat across from me.

She crosses her legs and rests her tablet in her lap. “Tyke.”

There’s a warning in her voice, but that doesn’t slow me down. “It’s not okay for me to tell you that you look nice now?”

She shakes her head. “No. Professional, remember?”

I hold my hands up in surrender, not wanting to push her anymore. “I’ll be good.”

She stares at me for a long moment, and then once she’s satisfied that I’m telling her the truth, she slides her glasses onto her face. “Did you write anything down in your notebook?”

I open the notebook and stare down at the only song that came to mind last night. Besides humming the tune to “Ball Busting Bitch”, I also found myself singing another song. A song where the guy doesn’t want to fall in love, but the woman on his mind is the only one in the world who can save him. The pain in the lyrics hit me last night. The game Frannie and I are playing is totally wicked—one that can destroy us both. Desire has made us foolish and we’ve done something we wouldn’t normally do in order to sedate it.

I clear my throat. “I wrote down another song title.”

She tilts her head and asks in a voice that’s barely above a whisper, “What is it?”

I chew the inside of my cheek. “‘Wicked Game.’”

She leans back in her chair. “Can we not make this session about you and me?”

My eyes widen. That wasn’t exactly the reaction I was expecting. “You wanted me to write down songs that came to mind, and all I did last night was think of you.”

She pulls her glasses off her face. “I’m sorry if you feel like I’m playing games with you. It was never my intention to lead you on. I take full responsibility for what happened, and I apologize to you for that. I promise it won’t happen again. I don’t want you getting the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea? I know you want me, just like I want you.”

Her tough exterior cracks a bit as her eyes drift up to the ceiling. “Tyke, please,” she whispers. “Can we just focus on the reason you’re here?”

My entire body stiffens. “I’m pretty sure I’m cured. I’ve haven’t had benzodiazepines for nearly a week, and I’m perfectly fine.”

She frowns. “There’s no curing an addiction. Being here, detoxing away from temptations, is the easy part. Living with it—battling every single day—is where the real work begins, and sometimes—” She cuts herself off and takes a deep breath. “Sometimes you fall off the wagon.”

I shake my head. “That’s not going to happen to me.”

“Don’t be so sure,” she lectures.

I cross my arms over my chest. “Why do you say that? You can’t possibly know that I won’t be able to stay away from it. It’s not like you know what it’s like.”

She licks her lips like her mouth has suddenly gone dry. “Actually, I know exactly what it’s like to fight an addiction.”

I raise my eyebrows. “What could you possibly be addicted to? You’re perfect.”

“There’s something you should know about me.” Her blue eyes focus on me. “I struggle every day, and since you came into my life...” She pauses and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I’m a recovering sex addict.”

Her admission catches me off guard. “Sex addict?”

My mind spins, trying to get a handle on exactly what she’s just said.

Holy—fucking—shit.

“Are you fucking with me right now?” I ask, making sure this isn’t some sort of sick joke.

“I wish I was,” she whispers.

I scrub my hand down my face as the shock turns to anger. I think about us fucking in the woods yesterday, and how she immediately cut me off afterwards. “Is that’s why you blew me off? I’m your relapse?”

She shakes her head. “No.” She hesitates and then sighs. “Well, yes and no. What happened with us...it was more than just giving in to my baser urges. When you sang that song about me, it touched me, and I couldn’t help but give into the physical urge my body craved. I had no intention of beginning a relationship with you.”

Things begin to click. “Jesus. You’re just like all the other groupies who wanted to screw me.”

“No!” she shouts and then quickly covers her mouth and then whispers harshly, “It’s not like that.”

I want to believe her because God knows she wasn’t just some random fuck for me. The thought of what happened between us meaning nothing to her fucking hurts. For some reason, I allowed myself to become emotionally attached to Frannie, and I don’t know if it’s because she seems to understand me, or because I can’t shake the feeling I’m here to save her.

I pick at my leather cuff and wonder out loud, “Then tell me what it is like, Frannie. I need to know if I should give up on us or not.”

She runs her hand through her hair and looks away, but then turns back toward me with her chin pointed down. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Tell me how you feel. Tell me if I should fight to make you see that we can work,” I urge.

Her brow furrows with confusion. “Why would you still want me after I told you my secret? I’m a mess.”

The corner of my mouth pulls up into an understanding smile. “I’m the last person to judge you, don’t you think? It’s not like I don’t have my own sordid past. After all, it wasn’t clean living that landed me in rehab.”

That earns me a smile. “I suppose so. You are a rock star, after all. I’m sure you’ve done worse. You’ve probably been with thousands of women.”

I grimace. “I think my dick would’ve fallen off by now if I’d been with a thousand women.”

“I just don’t understand why you care so much. We barely know one another.”

“That’s true,” I admit. “But you’re the first one to have given more than two shits about me in a long time.”

She frowns. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“But it is,” I defend my statement. “Riff, Noel, and even my own brother have been too busy with their own shit over the past couple of years. I’ve felt nothing but alone. This last year has been the hardest of my entire life. I’ve lived on the road with these guys, knowing they’re disgusted by me, knowing they really don’t want me around. Do you know how shitty that made me feel? To be unwanted? You, Frannie—you make me feel needed, and that’s why I’m fighting for you.”

She nods. “I’ve felt that way my entire life. My parents have always been too busy for me or my sister. Annie was the one person in this world I knew would always be there for me, even when no one else would.”

Having a twin is unlike any other relationship in the world. Throughout my life, Trip has always been there, even when no one else has been—even now. Even though he was pissed at me, he still cared enough to bring me here to get help.

“I can’t imagine losing Trip,” I admit.

“Losing Annie was the most difficult thing that’s ever happened to me. I know it’s no excuse, but that’s why I turned to sex. I wanted the closeness. To allow myself the illusion of love, even for a little while, but at the same time keeping everyone at a distance. I don’t ever want to feel the pain of losing someone else I love again.”

I nod. “So you close yourself off to make it easier? You think that’s healthy?”

“I know it’s not. That’s why I’m determined to turn my life around. I thought by coming here—”

“That you’d be safe from temptations?” I fill in the gap for her. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s me who screwed up. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

I sigh and stick my hand out toward her, believing that we’ll need to start over if we’re ever to have a shot at true intimacy. “I’m Tyke Douglas. It’s nice to meet you.”

She bites her bottom lower lip. “Frannie Mead.”

“Friends?” I ask.

She nods. “Friends.”

This isn’t exactly the relationship I want with Frannie, but I feel bad that I’m the reason that she relapsed, and I don’t want to push her to feel more until she’s ready. I’ll be patient.

I mean, let’s face it.

While I’m here, I’ve got nothing but time on my hands.

Chapter 11

“Through the Glass” –Stone Sour

Frannie The moment Tyke leaves my office, I sit on my desk and allow my shoulders to sag, guilt washing over me. I wish I didn’t have to hurt him. I wish I wasn’t like this—that I didn’t depend on sex to make me feel better. It’s a cycle I desperately want to break. I don’t think I can ever have a real relationship with a man until I learn to let people into my heart.

I stand and walk around my desk to work on Tyke’s chart, and a gasp leaves my mouth the moment I pull out my desk chair. A single red rose rests on the seat. My heart clenches, knowing that man who gave it to me is someone I can never have.

I pick it up and then sniff its floral scent. It’s only then I notice something green poking out from between the petals. Plucking the thin plastic guitar pick from the flower, I smile as I read the words in Tyke’s familiar scrawl.

Cutting him off will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I need to prove to myself that I’m over this addiction. It’s the best thing for both of us. Neither of us are in a good place to begin a relationship.

Arnold adjusts on the couch and then folds his hands in his lap. This is my seventh session with him, and I still feel like I haven’t made any headway. The journal idea I’m using on Tyke is failing miserably with Arnold. He never brings it to his sessions with me because he says he doesn’t write anything that would be beneficial for me to learn about him.

Every session, he attempts to drag the conversation back to the notorious prom incident. Wayne and I both agree that Arnold needs a little more than addiction counseling. He also wonders why there’s no mention of a mental health diagnosis in any of Arnold’s medical files because he has obvious psychological issues.

I sigh and ask the one question I’ve dreaded since Arnold walked into my office for his appointment. “Is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”

“I know you said last time that I couldn’t re-tell my story about prom, but I really feel like talking about the situation helps,” he explains.

“Arnold, I don’t think rehashing the same story over and over is beneficial. We need to focus on your current issues and try to pinpoint where to begin getting you back on track,” I explain.

“I know, but...”

I sit and listen to Arnold babble on for twenty minutes about how we need to discuss his prom incident anyway, inadvertently allowing him to get his way by talking about the incident without directly talking about it.

Really, it doesn’t matter what he’s talking about because my mind is focused on how my next appointment is going to go. It’s been two weeks since Tyke and I decided to start over. Two weeks where I’ve had to pretend that I don’t miss his touch. Two weeks since thoughts of him have overtaken my brain.

I’ll admit things have been smoother between us with keeping our distance. It’s actually been a lot easier to let my guard down around him now that he knows my secret, but it’s been difficult to pretend that my body doesn’t crave him.

A knock on my door jolts my body alive. “Sounds like my next appointment is here, Arnold. We’ll continue this discussion tomorrow.”

“Okay, Frannie,” he replies as he gets up and heads for the door.

The moment he opens it, Tyke’s face comes into view. I take a moment to admire him as he struts into my office. His T-shirt accentuates the definition in his toned chest while his faded blue jeans hug his ass just right.

Stop it! I mentally scold myself. Stop thinking of him and his insanely sexy body.

I square my shoulders and do my best to block out the fact that he’s getting to me. Tyke sits on the couch with his notebook in hand, tapping a beat out with his thumbs as I take my seat across from him.

“Were you able to think of any new songs?” I ask, just as I’ve done at the start of every one of our sessions.

He’s been pretty reserved and hasn’t written anything inside it since the session where he accused me of playing games with him.

He nods. “I did.”

This surprises me. I didn’t expect him to cooperate, but I’m pleased that he’s giving it another shot. “What did you come up with?”

He sighs. “I’ve been working on a new song. The lyrics aren’t quite ready to share, but I did write down another song title.”

I catch myself leaning toward him, my chin propped up by my hand. “Will you tell me what it is?”

A selfish part of me hopes that it’s another song about me. I know it’s wrong to want that, but I like the idea of him still wanting me like I want him.

“It’s called “Through the Glass” by Stone Sour.”

I quickly flip through the mental listings I have of songs. That particular one doesn’t resonate. “I don’t think I know that one.”

Tyke closes his eyes and begins to sing. The lyrics are haunting and move me to my very soul. It’s about a man looking at the person he loves through the glass and how when he gets asked questions, people expect in-depth answers from him.

That line really hits home. Every time I see him, I ask him how he feels, but he always holds back, never giving me the complex truth I know he’s hiding behind his smile.

I close my eyes along with him, allowing myself to get lost in the words he’s singing. This song may not be about me, but it sure feels like it. More than anything, I wish we could’ve met under different circumstances—in a time when we both weren’t trying to overcome our demons.

But rewinding time isn’t possible. There’s nothing left but to trudge forward and see what our current situation holds.

When he finishes, I open my eyes to find his green eyes focused directly on me. The right thing to do in this situation would be to drive home the point that, no matter how we both feel, we’re still off-limits to one another. But I can’t bring myself to do it. The look in his eyes...it’s the same one I saw that day out by the fountain. The one that made me ache for him, and lose all resolve once I found out he was thinking of me while he was expressing so much hurt. I feel the same desire to say fuck the rules and allow myself to have him right now, but I take a deep breath and will that feeling away.

“That was beautiful,” I tell him. “Sad, but beautiful.”

He nods. “Kind of like us together. We’re beautiful, but we both have an aching sadness inside.”

I smile. “Have you ever thought about becoming a counselor?”

He laughs. “I guess I do sound like one, huh?”

“A little,” I tease but then clear my throat, ready to ask questions that I know will be hard for me to hear the answers to. “Do I even want to know what made you choose that song?”

Tyke shrugs. “I’m sure it’s not hard to guess that part of it is directed at you. The other part is about my brother.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Trip?”

“Yeah,” he confirms. “I just feel like it’s been forever since he and I really connected. These past few weeks, being here, having a clear head, have allowed me to look back on things I’ve said or done to him and see how big an asshole I’ve been. It’s hard for me to admit that I hurt him pretty bad. Hell, not just my brother, but Noel and Riff, too. I can’t believe I let prescription drugs take me over like that. It makes me never want to touch that shit again.”

I reach over and pat his knee. “I’m so happy that you’re ready to make big changes in your life. It’s epiphanies like this that will give you the drive to stay on the straight and narrow.”

He stares at my hand on his knee and then drags his gaze up to my face. “When did you know you were ready to change?”

I pull away from him as I think about one of the darkest moments in my life. I debate whether I should tell him or not, but figure we’ve already crossed the line of professionalism, so I might as well be open with him.

“The moment I stared at my own reflection in the mirror and was disgusted at what I saw. I’d just had sex with a married man while his pregnant wife was home tending to their other children. I knew he was married before I slept with him, but in the moment, that didn’t matter—nothing did. All I cared about was getting my fix and forgetting my life just for a while. I wasn’t thinking about how what I was doing could destroy someone else’s family. I was selfish and I hated myself for it, so I decided I was going to change. I swore off sleeping with random men—even threw out my birth control to make myself stay clean.”

He bites his lip as he processes my story. “I’m sorry I screwed up your sobriety—I truly am—but I can’t say I’m sorry for what happened out in the woods. I know you believe that it was just sex, but I care for you, Frannie. You’re more than some random lay to me.”

Tears begin to threaten my eyes. “I am?”

“Yes.” He reaches over and takes my hand, threading his fingers through mine. “Much more. I want to know you.”

“What do you want to know?” I whisper.

“Anything. Everything,” he replies quickly. “You fascinate me.”

I shake my head. “I don’t...how...what if someone finds out?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Let them. There are other jobs out there, Frannie. Don’t let a stupid job keep us from discovering if we could be happy together.”

“This is a huge risk,” I admit.

“Isn’t it worth it? Give me a chance to make you happy. All I’m asking for is a chance.”

My brain drifts to the thought of what a life with Tyke might be like. There’s a fire between us that neither of us can deny, but what happens if that fire goes out? Will we still last then? Will I still be enough? It worries me that if things go south, we might revert to our old ways. But I’ll never know what might happen unless I take a risk and follow through with what my heart truly wants.

“Okay,” I whisper.

He smiles. “Okay.”

He leans over and cradles my face in his hands before pressing his lips to mine. “Thank you.”

“For what?” I whisper against his lips.

“For giving me a shot at your heart,” he says as he gazes into my eyes.

It’s then, at that moment, that I know that my heart’s a goner. I’ve never had someone be so sweet to me, not to mention the romantic little note he left on the pick as well as the heartfelt songs he sang about me. A heart can only take so much thoughtfulness and love being thrown at it before it gives in. I’m not going to rush in, though. My heart still needs to be guarded until I know for sure that he’s not going to hurt me.

“All right, everyone line up for a head count,” Randall orders.

The clients stand in front of the two vans, waiting for Randall to come through and mark them off on his clipboard. Tyke winks at me the moment Randall passes by him and my cheeks heat up, surely causing a severe blush.

“It’s a beautiful day for an art show,” Wayne says, causing me to jump.

I place my hand over my heart. “You startled me. I didn’t expect to see you here today.”

Wayne crosses his hands behind his back in a way that makes his already perfect posture even straighter. “I wasn’t planning on attending, but it seems that every client in the facility wanted to join in on this little expedition, so Timothy and I had to come as extra chaperones.”

I nod. “Yes, most of them seemed excited when it was announced a couple of weeks ago, so it doesn’t surprise me that none of them wanted to stay behind.”

There’s a long pause of silence between us as we listen to Randall go over the rules with everyone.

“There’s no wandering off alone. Everyone must stay paired up.”

“I’ve had nothing but good reports from the clients, Frannie,” Wayne says, as soon as Randall’s finished.

“Really? Wow. That’s great news.” Pride fills me, and I’m starting to think that maybe I’m a pretty decent therapist after all. Sometimes it’s hard to know if I’m actually helping someone or not.

“Mr. Douglas, especially, has been showering you with compliments. He says you’ve been working with him about showing more emotion through music. That’s very clever, reaching out to the clients through channels they’ll relate to best. I think you’ll do very well here.”

I smile. Leave it to my secret lover to butter up my boss and earn me some brownie points. “Thank you. I really feel like I’m starting to get somewhere with Mr. Douglas.”

My grin widens even further knowing that Tyke appreciates the method of therapy we’ve been using.

Randall opens the doors to the first van. “Dr. Shepherd and Timothy will be in charge of this bus. I’ll need the following people on this one: Rosa, Elaine, John...”

“That’s my cue,” Wayne says before throwing, “Keep up the good work, Frannie,” over his shoulder.

Randall turns to the rest of the group and tells them they are in the other van with him and I. Tyke grins as he heads to the van I’m in, while Josie calls shotgun and races toward the front of the van like a little kid.

It takes us about an hour to get to the quaint little town where the art show is being hosted. I’ve been to several art galas with my parents, but I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited than to go to this particular one, and it has nothing to do with the artists. For the first time since I’ve met Tyke, we’re away from Serenity Hills. It’ll be nice to pretend, if only for a little while, what it might be like if we could be in public together.

Although walking through the halls of the art gallery as a huge group kills the illusion that we’re alone, Tyke stays next to me throughout the entire tour.

Standing next to him is the hardest thing in the world. All I want to do is reach out ever so slightly and touch him to let him know that he’s on my mind, but I can’t. Not here. Not now.

Tyke tilts his head, studying the painting before him intently, scrutinizing what it could be conveying. The other clients stand in front of us, blocking us from the direct sight of Wayne, who is lecturing the clients on what he thinks the painting of two little children could mean.

The group moves on to the next exhibit, and it’s of a photo of a couple lost in the throes of passion. My pulse increases and my chest heaves as it evokes the memory of Tyke and I together.

The photo must have sparked the same memory for Tyke because he hooks his pinky around mine. My heart thunders in my chest at the feel of our skin connecting. This is completely inappropriate, but I don’t care. This small touch is already sending my body into overdrive.

This small touch is so comforting, knowing that he’s thinking about me, too.

As quickly as the moment comes, it fades away when Wayne leads the group onto the next painting, and Tyke releases me.

The rest of the tour goes on much the same—simple touches when we’re sure no one is looking. I’ll admit there’s a certain adventure in our little game, dangerous yet thrilling, but it’s making me all the more anxious to have Tyke again. By the end of the exhibit, I’m so turned on it’s hard for me to see straight.

Tyke must feel the same way because he leans in and whispers, “I have to have you.”

My knees nearly buckle as the urge to drag him into the nearest secluded corner and allow him to have his way with me hits.

“Can you meet me by the fountain?” he asks and I nod.

The entire trip back to Serenity, my body is ablaze with anticipation. Knowing I’m going to have Tyke again is making me embarrassingly wet. We sit next to each other but have to refrain from doing anything that would give us away. Josie could turn around any moment, or Randall could glance up in the rearview mirror at the wrong time, and we’d be so busted. Not to mention the fact that I have Arnold squished next to me, on the other side.

“What was your favorite exhibit?” Randal asks openly to anyone who wants to answer.

“The picture of the people fucking,” one of the male clients shouts from the back. “That shit was hot.”

Tyke and I look at one another and burst out laughing, knowing that was the very painting that got us turned on.

Finally, we make it back to the facility, all piling out and saying our goodbyes as everyone heads to their rooms to rest up before dinner. Tyke and I walk far enough apart so as not to draw suspicion, but each of us knows what lies in wait for us.

I make it back to the cottage and practically run into my bathroom to freshen up. I shove my hair into a cap and jump into the shower, quickly scrubbing every inch of me down before running a razor over my legs and nether regions.

After I’m dressed in a sundress, I head to the fountain, the crisp evening air caressing my freshly washed skin and jolting every nerve in me awake as I sit down on a bench and wait for Tyke.

I casually flip through the book I brought with me to look busy as I wait. It doesn’t take long before I see Tyke making his way down the path.

He grins the moment he spots me, but looks around cautiously before rushing down and scooping me up in his arms. “God. You don’t know how hard today was, not being able to hold you.”

I wrap my arms over his shoulders and toy with the hair on the nape of his neck. “I think I have a pretty good idea.”

He crushes his lips to mine and then sets me down. “Come on. I made sure I wasn’t followed, but we won’t have much time.”

He begins to pull me into the woods, but the idea of being out in the open again scares me. We got lucky last time. I think it’s better if we don’t push our luck.

I pull back on his arm and he turns to me, a perplexed expression on his face. “What’s wrong?”

I tip my head toward the cottage. “This one’s mine. I think it would be much more private.”

He glances around and then smiles. “Lead the way.”

Quickly, I sneak him inside. Once the door is shut, he shoves me up against it and attacks my mouth with his. As much as I would love to take our time and savor every moment of our passion, we both know time isn’t on our side.

I wrap my arms around his neck, and he pushes my sundress up around my waist before picking me up, my legs wrapping around him, as he presses his thick erection against me. I writhe against it, hungry for him to be inside me.

When he walks us over to the bed, he lays me down and slowly slides my dress up my body while kissing a path up my torso. Once he gets to my breasts, he pulls back and removes my dress completely.

“No bra or panties this time?” he teases.

“I figured they would only get in the way.” I grin at him and then my eyes trail down his body. “You’re still completely dressed. I don’t think that’s fair.”

He laughs and grabs the back of his shirt, yanking it over his head in that sexy way that guys do, completely ruffling his hair up in the process.

My eyes travel down his toned body and take a moment to appreciate all the artwork etched into his skin. Tyke Douglas is most definitely a tasty treat.

Tyke drops his gray shirt on the floor and raises one eyebrow while he grins at me wickedly. “Better?”

I lick my lips and scoot to the end of the bed. “Much.”

I quickly unbutton and unzip his jeans, shoving them, along with his boxer briefs down around his narrow hips. His cock springs free and I take a moment to trail my tongue down one side of his “V” before continuing my path down his shaft.

I wrap my lips around the tip of him, and he groans. “Holy fuck.”

Dirty talk from Tyke is encouraging. It pushes me to keep going because I’m obviously pleasing him.

I wrap my fingers around his shaft and tug in rhythm while I work him deeper into my mouth. His breathing becomes ragged, and he tangles his fingers in my thick hair. I’ve never claimed to be an expert at giving head, but I feel pretty damn proud at how much he’s enjoying this.

Pre-come drips onto my tongue, and I taste the saltiness of his excitement, so I begin to slow my movements. I pull away and stare up at him. His green eyes are lust filled as he strokes the side of my face with his thumb.

I grab his arm and tug him onto the bed with me. Tyke kicks his clothes the rest of the way off and I straddle him, his erect cock, still slick with my saliva, glides against my folds as my hips grind into him, the tip of his cock hitting my clit as I work. I close my eyes and lean back, cupping my own breasts as I get lost seeking my own pleasure.

My arousal coats him, and I quicken my pace. Tyke’s gaze never leaves me as the familiar tingle of bliss tears through my body and Tyke squeezes my hips as he watches me come apart on top of him.

“Jesus, I nearly came just watching that,” he says as he leans up and presses his lips to mine. “You are too fucking sexy for your own good.”

Before I have a chance to respond, he flips me onto my back and covers my body with his own. He trails a path of kisses across my jaw and then whispers in my ear, “I can’t wait to be inside you again.”

I wrap my legs around his waist and his cock presses against my entrance. “I want you there.”

With one swift thrust, he’s inside me. He stays still for a moment and allows my body to stretch around him, but then begins to move at a deliciously slow pace.

“Heaven. Even better than I remembered,” he says with a raspy tone in his voice.

Each time he pulls out and pushes back inside, his pelvis makes contact with my clit. I spread my legs wider and grab his ass, attempting to control his rhythm.

“You like that?” he murmurs as my fingers dig into his backside.

“Ohhh, yeah,” I whimper.

I should be embarrassed. I’m sure I sounded like some cheap porn star just then, but the truth is, I’m enjoying what he’s doing and I don’t want him to stop.

“You want it harder?” he asks and then gives me one hard thrust. “Huh?”

“Oh, God.” I pant as every nerve ending in my body ignites.

“That’s it, baby. Come for me again.”

With that vocal cue, I lose all control. My body jerks as I come for the second time, and my vision goes dark from the intensity.

The moment I come back to my senses, I freeze. “Hold on.”

I reach into my nightstand and unearth the emergency stash of condoms I bought when I made a run to the store last week. After the randomness of the woods, I wanted to be prepared if there was ever a next time with Tyke, even as much as I was trying to fight it.

He simply stares at me, and I shrug. “I got them just in case we ever happened again.”

He nods. “Smart thinking, considering I can’t leave this place to get them.”

The foil crinkles in my hands as I tear the package open. Tyke leans back, pulling himself out of me so I can roll the condom onto him.

Once it’s on, Tyke settles back on his forearms and his cock slides back into me with ease. Now that we know we’re protected, he begins pounding into me at full speed, sweat slicking his back as his muscles work to find their own release.

It doesn’t take long before his movements become more rigid and a deep moan rips out of his throat as he comes hard. I stare in amazement as this beautiful man gets off on the pleasure of my body.

Small tremors shake through his body before he sighs and then opens his eyes to gaze upon my face.

“Fucking beautiful,” Tyke says, leaning down and crushing his lips to mine. “You’re never more breathtaking then when you completely let go.”

I smile up at him lazily as I reach up and push his hair back from his face. “You’re the one who’s beautiful—inside and out.”

This time, it’s Tyke who blushes, leaning in and kissing me again. “How did I ever get so lucky as to find you?”

I toy with his hair. “I don’t think luck had anything to do with it. A string of bad choices brought us to rock bottom, and then finally getting our shit straight brought us to one another.”

He smiles. “Like fate?”

I bite my lip and think about how I’ve always laughed of the idea of fate being real, but in this instance, it seems very fitting. “Like fate,” I agree.

After we cuddle for a few more moments, we quickly work on cleaning ourselves up before we have to go face everyone at dinner. Tyke leaves the cottage first as soon as he’s sure no one is around, and then about fifteen minutes later, I make my way toward the main house.

“Hey, Frannie,” Kimmy calls from behind me, making me jump.

I rub the back of my neck. “Oh hey, Kimmy. I didn’t see you there.”

She laughs next to me. “No, I’m guessing your mind is elsewhere after having Tyke Douglas in your cottage.”

The blood instantly drains from my face and my heart pauses for a beat.

Oh shit!

Kimmy nudges me and laughs. “Girl, don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I won’t say a word to anyone.”

“Kimmy...I...” I scrub my hand across my forehead, completely lost for words.

“Relax, Frannie. If it were me in your position, I’d pounce on him, too. He’s so sexy.” She grins. “So tell me, is it just sex between you two, or what?”

I bite my lip. “I’m not sure. I don’t think so. When we’re together it feels right, and that scares me.”

Her brow furrows. “Why?”

I pull my lips into a tight line. “I’ve never been in a real relationship before, and I have no clue what in the hell I’m doing.”

She laughs. “First of all, you’ve got to be doing something right. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. He’s crazy about you. And secondly, just be yourself. The best relationships are the natural ones.”

I give her a small smile. “How’d you get so wise?”

She shrugs. “I’ve got five siblings, and I’m the oldest. They all come to me for advice.”

“If the design thing doesn’t work out, you should think about going into counseling,” I tell her.

When we make it to the main house, I tell Kimmy that I’ll see her later, needing space to freak out about the fact that our secret isn’t so secret anymore. I make my way into my office and sit at my desk before firing up my laptop. I quickly type my passwords in and log into my email, needing to focus on something else before I have a complete anxiety attack.

The first few are spam emails but then one catches my attention. The subject line reads: I have something you’ll want to see. It’s from an anonymous sender, which is even more puzzling.

I debate leaving it alone, worried that it’s one of those crazy virus emails with a link inside that will crash your computer, but then decide to at least open it.

Dr. Mead,

I have something you’ll want to see. Tell me if this is you and a certain rocker in this video. If you don’t want this to go viral, you’ll email me back asking for my demands.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Citizen

My eyes widen as I make it through the email and then I quickly reread the text before my eyes see the thumbnail of the attachment.

Oh—my—fucking—God.

No.

NO!

This cannot be happening to me.

I click play on the video as my heart races and turn down the volume on my computer. The shaky camera focuses on Tyke and I in the woods, catching the moment when I practically beg Tyke to fuck me.

The camera stays on us as he thrusts into me and I beg him to fuck me harder. I watch in horror as I writhe against the rock as I come, and then it shows where he shoots part of his load inside me and then pulls out.

The video stops and the breath I’ve been holding whooshes out of me. What in the hell am I going to do?

One thing is for sure, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep that video from going out to the world.

I square my shoulders and fire back a reply.

What do you want?

And now I wait.

Chapter 12

“No Matter What” – Papa Roach

Tyke Frannie is unusually quiet at dinner. I try, subtly, to catch her eye when no one is looking to make sure she’s okay, but she won’t even look in my direction.

I lean back in my chair, perplexed about the entire situation. I thought we finally had things worked out—that we were going to give “us” a shot—why won’t she look at me?

“Since we’ve all had a long day, I think it would be nice to have an evening off. Group therapy is cancelled for this evening, but I highly encourage you to use the time for personal refection,” Dr. Shepherd informs the group after we finish dinner.

The room begins to buzz as everyone considers having time on their own. Most of them discuss getting a card game together in the recreation room. Another client asks me to join, but I politely refuse because the only thing on my mind is finding out what’s bothering Frannie.

The moment she gets up from the table, I follow her. “Dr. Mead? Can I have a moment of your time?”

I’m careful to address her properly in front of everyone as to not raise suspicions. No one pays much mind when she instructs me to follow her to her office.

Once we’re alone she closes the door and then turns to me, tears streaming down her face. I quickly cross the room and wrap my arms around her in an attempt to comfort her.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

She sniffs. “People know about us, Tyke.”

My breath catches as I pull back from her so I can see her face. “Who?”

“Kimmy saw us go into my cottage together earlier today, but she swore she wouldn’t tell anyone.”

I furrow my brow. “Do you trust her?”

Frannie shrugs. “I don’t know. I think so. Gah! I’m not sure because when I checked my email today I got this.”

She walks over to her laptop and shows me the email she received.

My eyes hone in on the video and my hands begin to shake as anger washes through me. “Is that what I think it is?”

She nods. “It’s us in the woods. Someone filmed us, Tyke. What are we going to do? If this gets out not only will I lose my job, but the press will know all about you coming to rehab.”

I scrub my hand down my face. “I couldn’t give two shits about my reputation, Frannie. It’s you I’m worried about. I know how much this job means to you.”

I sigh. She’ll be so screwed if this gets back to Dr. Shepherd. As much as I want to run out there and threaten bodily harm to each and every person here to make them confess, I know I can’t do that. I have to keep my cool and figure out whatever this sick fuck wants.

“Did you reply to this?” I ask.

“Yes. I haven’t heard back though.”

I thread my fingers behind my head and stare up at the ceiling in attempt to keep my cool. “I want to kill them. I want to beat the shit out of whoever did this. They’ve got some fucking balls.”

Frannie grabs the hem of my T-shirt. “I know exactly how you feel. I’m beyond pissed—and scared—but we can’t lose our heads. We have to be smart about this. They can ruin everything with a few clicks of a button.”

She’s right. Another media scene portraying Black Falcon in a negative light would probably push Riff over the edge. He’s pissed at me enough already.

Even though I couldn’t give a fuck if people saw another sex tape of me, knowing the world was able to see that private moment shared between Frannie and me makes me sick to my very core. I want that look in her eyes when she comes to only be mine. I don’t want to share that part of her with the rest of the world.

I take a deep breath and try to relax my shoulders. “Can you forward me this email? If they respond, send it to me immediately so we can figure this out together. Okay?”

She stares up at me with tears in her blue eyes. “Okay.”

I lean over her desk and write my email address on a Post-it note. I hand her the paper. “I mean it. We’re in this together. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.”

I pull her to my chest and hold her in my arms. I know she feels lost without her twin, but I want her to know that she doesn’t have to feel so lonely anymore because she has me. I’ll be there for her.

Chapter 13

“I Write Sins Not Tragedies” – Panic At the Disco

Frannie It’s been five days since I replied to my blackmailer and still haven’t received any word back. Every day that I sit here in this place, I grow more and more paranoid. I’m driving myself batty analyzing every single thing that every single person does here. Any one of them could have sent that email, and I’m determined to find out who in the hell is fucking with me.

Tyke leans his head back against the couch in my office and sighs. “Do you think it’s Arnold? The guy’s not right upstairs and could’ve been stalking you.”

I sag my shoulders. “I don’t know, Tyke. It’s possible, I guess. I just don’t know what he’d gain from doing this to us.”

“You don’t know what the asshole wants because they haven’t replied with their demands, and yet the video still hasn’t gone viral. I’ve got Trip keeping tabs on the tabloids for us, too.”

I squeeze my eyes shut. “You told your brother?”

Tyke shrugs. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch. He won’t say anything. Besides, he’s cool with it.”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “He is? He doesn’t care that you’re screwing your therapist?”

He pulls me into his lap. “First off, this is more than just sex. We’ve already established that. Secondly, my brother’s happy when I’m happy, and you, Frannie Mead, make me happy.”

I melt into him as he kisses my temple.

He pushes my hair away from my neck and nuzzles into me. “I can’t wait until we can be together without all this secrecy.”

“You really think there’s a future for us outside this place?”

“Of course I do,” he states confidently. “Don’t you?”

“I dream about it, but I don’t know how it will all work if we don’t see each other very often.”

He sighs. “It’s true I’m away a lot, but that won’t stop me from flying out to you every spare chance I get, and you can fly out to wherever I’m at on the road.”

I stiffen in his arms. “I don’t fly.”

“At all?” he questions.

“Like ever.”

“Can I ask why?”

Since we seem to be at a point where we are truthful with one another, I begin to tell him exactly why I won’t step foot on a plane again. “My sister...her plane went down in the Atlantic Ocean. None of the passengers survived, and all that was ever found of the plane was a partial piece of wing. Ever since then, I’ve been deathly afraid. It’s been four years, and yet I can’t seem to get over it.”

“That’s understandable,” he says as he rubs my back. “I think that reaction is perfectly normal.”

“Well, my family doesn’t think so. My mother thinks it’s ridiculous that I can’t get past my fear and pretend like they aren’t evil killing machines.”

“Maybe someday you’ll feel differently but until then, no one should push you.”

“Thank you.” I wrap my arms around him, loving that he seems to understand my feelings about the situation.

I sigh as we stay locked in our embrace. “What are we going to do about this email? Do you think we need more time apart to throw people off our scent?”

“What good would that do? They’ve already caught us on tape. There’s not much we can say to dispute that,” he answers.

“I don’t know.” I pull back so I can look him in the eyes. “We can always deny it. The video doesn’t zoom in on our faces too much.”

He shakes his head. “Believe me; your face was pretty clear. They’ll know it’s you.”

I toy with his hair, thinking of a new plan. “Well, what if you appear interested in someone else here? Do you think that would lead people away?”

“No. That’s a terrible idea. And I won’t do that to you.” The tone in his voice is adamant.

“Come on, Tyke. We’ll both know it’s just for show, and I’m not asking you to sleep around—just be extra nice to other women.” I take a deep breath. “I know it’s a crazy, irrational plan, but will you just try until we can figure out who is behind all this?”

He huffs. “I don’t like it.”

“For me?” I bat my eyes at him. “Once it’s over and you’re out of here, we can come clean. By then it won’t matter as much if the world finds out we’re together.”

His body shifts below me, uncomfortable. “Okay, I’ll do it, but you have to promise that you won’t get all jealous because this is your idea. If you start acting like a psycho stalker, I’m done with the fucking game.”

“Fair enough. But I promise to keep my inner crazy on lockdown.”

For the next week, after our little plan of diversion is set in motion, Tyke does exactly as he promised. He’s overly nice to every female within five feet of him, but I can honestly say it doesn’t bother me in the slightest because the moments when no one is looking and he winks at me, I know that I’m the only one on his mind. That he’s being overly flirtatious to protect me. Because I asked him to.

It’s a completely weird and screwed-up situation, but one I feel is completely necessary until we find out who in this place has dirt on us.

While most of the women respond to his innocent come-ons with blushes, smiles, and giggles, there’s only one person who seems to be taking it a little too seriously.

Josie Sullivan.

It’s no secret Josie demands to be the center of attention, but she’s completely eating up every ounce of what Tyke throws at her. I know it shouldn’t bother me that’s she’s reading too much into what’s going on between them, but I can’t help it. Her body is amazing, and she’s a celebrity. Any woman who tells you that type of competition doesn’t worry them is a liar. I wish he would focus on someone else more, but Josie seems to be putting herself in close proximity to him all the time now.

I turn my attention back to the products in front of me. While Kimmy is on the other side of the store buying cleaning supplies for the facility, I’m being sneaky and checking out pregnancy tests in the pharmacy aisle.

It’s been three weeks since Tyke and I first had sex, which by my calendar makes my period a week late. I know it’s probably just the stress of everything going on causing the delay, but it doesn’t hurt to know for sure.

Once I find the test that most doctors seem to recommend, I quickly pay for it and shove it into my purse before I go and search for Kimmy.

The entire ride back to Serenity, I listen quietly as Kimmy drives and babbles on about her design school courses. It’s totally rude of me to just pretend that she has my full attention, but I can’t help being distracted by the fifteen-dollar test that has the potential to be a gamer changer.

“Frannie, are you okay?” Kimmy asks. “You seem distracted. Is it Tyke?”

I shake my head. Even though Kimmy knows that Tyke and I’ve fooled around, I don’t feel the need to divulge any additional information about our relationship, especially until I find out who is behind the video.

It could be anyone, so I’m on high alert with all my secrets.

“No. That was a one-time thing. He hasn’t crossed my mind really since then,” I lie.

She frowns. “I’ve noticed him being overly flirtatious with everyone but you lately. Do I need to nut punch him for being a dick?”

I burst out laughing. For some reason, the thought of petite Kimmy punching Tyke is comical. “No. But thank you for the offer.”

She smiles. “What are friends for?”

It’s a nice thought—being friends—but I can’t allow myself to give in to the idea, no matter how genuine she seems. She has stuck to her word about keeping my secret, though, or at least I think so. Wayne hasn’t let on that he knows anything if she has blabbed to him.

After I say my goodbyes to Kimmy, I make my way down to the little cottage that’s been my home for the last month and quickly lock myself inside. The plastic sack crinkles in my hands as I pull the pregnancy test out of it and read the directions. It says it’s best to use the first morning’s urine, but I can’t hold out until tomorrow.

After peeing on the cotton tip of the white stick as instructed, I place the cap on and place it on a piece of toilet paper on my sink. I stare anxiously as I watch the saturated cotton inside the test begin to change the lines on the test. When not one, but two pink lines pop up in the window, my breath catches.

No.

No. No.

No. No. NO!

This is the completely wrong time for this to be happening. I knew it was a possibility, but never did I think it was going to actually happen. Tyke doesn’t want a baby. He told me that himself. And while I’ve just came around to the idea of trying to let my guard down and become something more than a friend who fucks from him from time to time, I know we’re not ready for this.

Neither of us.

Chapter 14

“It Goes Like This” – Thomas Rhett

Tyke The ringtone on my phone wakes me from a deep sleep. I roll over and grab it off the nightstand and answer when I see Trip’s name pop up.

“No rest for the wicked or what?” I ask.

He chuckles. “I’ve been up working, smartass. The track has a huge event coming up, so we’re running around like crazy trying to get things ready.”

“Damn, another event? You’re making money hand over fist now with that place.”

“I don’t know about all that, but it’s definitely doing a lot better financially than when I first got there. My girl has done some amazing things to promote our business.”

My brother’s happy. Probably the happiest I’ve ever seen him. I’m glad he’s found someone. I didn’t understand his infatuation with Holly before, but now that I’ve met Frannie, I’m starting to understand wanting to spend all your time with one woman.

“That’s great, Trip,” I tell him. “But what does all that have to do with calling me before the rooster even fucking crows?”

“Sorry, bro, it was the only time I’d have time to call you today. I wanted to let you know that Noel spoke with the label yesterday. They want the new album done within two months. Do you have any songs for it yet?”

I sigh. “No, not yet, but I’ll get cracking, and as soon as I get out of here, hopefully I’ll have some decent lyrics and melodies together so we can go straight into the studio.”

“Awesome. I knew we could count on you. We’d never be able to make the new record without your crazy ass. You’re a lyrical genius. Hold on, Tyke.” The rustling sound of him putting his hand over the receiver while he speaks to someone else pours through my phone. “Sorry, man, gotta go. I’ll call you soon.”

“All right. Later,” I reply before we disconnect.

As I lay there, Frannie’s face is the first thing that pops into my mind as I think about leaving to reunite with my band.

This idea Frannie has about me hitting on other women to draw attention away from us messing around is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I tried to convince her that it was a terrible idea, but she was convinced it wasn’t. She can be very persuasive because all I want to do is make her smile.

I hum a rhythm that’s been working its way into my brain over the last few days. For some reason, the urge to get back to writing music has hit me hard. I’m not sure if it’s the small piece of happiness I’ve found recently with having Frannie in my life, or the fact that I want to finish this album and get not only the band back on track, but myself as well.

I pull out my phone to type down the lyrics that hit me as I think of the melody.

You . . . you don’t see how much you mean to me.

How you make me work hard to be the man I’m supposed to be.

Frannie’s face is all I see as I type out the words. It’s true she probably doesn’t see how I really feel about her. I mean, hell, why the fuck would she believe that a recovering drug addict like me, stuck in this place, would actually have feelings for her? I’m sure she still thinks this is a relationship of convenience.

I mumble a few more sentences but nothing seems fitting so I close the app and check my email. It’s then I see the email that Frannie forwarded to me of the video of us fucking in the woods.

I can’t resist. I open the video and turn the sound down low. My eyes drift down to Frannie’s face and the expression she wears is absolutely the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. She wants me. She needs me.

My cock begins to throb and swell as I remember what it feels like to be buried deep inside her. Absently, my hand drifts down into my boxers and I grab my shaft. The only way I’m going to get rid of this boner now is to rub one out.

I pause the video, needing something to help me with the job at hand. I reach into my shower bag and grab a bottle of lotion before pulling my shirt off and lying down. My boxer briefs quickly get shoved down my hips, before I squeeze a small amount of lotion into my hand. The sensation of my fingers around my stiff cock, stroking, is nowhere as pleasurable as Frannie’s pussy, but it’ll have to do.

I restart the video, the moans coming from Frannie, coupled with watching me fuck her on film quickly causes every nerve in my body to tingle. My pace quickens and the moment I see Frannie come, I lose it. I close my eyes and try to fool my brain into thinking I’m balls deep in her, sliding against her slick flesh while giving into my own pleasure.

I shoot my load all over my stomach and lower chest as I stifle back a moan. I rub my thumb over my head and wipe the rest of the dripping come off my tip.

Holy fuck. This woman is going to be the death of me if I don’t start banging her more than twice a month. After cleaning up, I’m finally relaxed, and drift off to sleep with thoughts of Frannie on my mind.

The next morning I make it down to breakfast before Timothy even has time to make it up the stairs and get me. Ever since jerking off to that video of Frannie I’ve been horny as fuck. I can’t wait until all this treatment bullshit is over and I can get back to a normal life—one that includes fucking Frannie whenever I want.

Most of the other patients—or clients as all the staff call us—are already in their seats ready for breakfast. Frannie isn’t here yet, so I sit next to an empty chair to save it for her.

“Hey, hot stuff,” Josie purrs as she plops down in Frannie’s seat. “You’re looking good enough to eat this morning.”

Her come-ons make me want to roll my eyes so fucking bad. This girl is so not my type—not that I even had a type, looking back on all the random groupies I’ve fucked around with over the last year. And Gabby Rodriguez, I don’t even want to think about that screwed-up mess. Trip had been right about her. She was absolutely no good for me.

Josie’s still staring at me, waiting on me to flirt back with her like I’ve been doing lately. I’m really not in the mood to put up with this little game today, but I don’t want to piss off Frannie, so I play along.

I lean back and casually throw my around the back of Josie’s chair and give her my most devilish smirk. “Well, why don’t you come take a bite?”

She giggles and twirls her bottle-blond hair around her index finger as she slides her tongue along her top teeth. “Maybe I just might.”

I’m still pretending to be loving this wicked banter between Josie and I as I turn my head and notice Frannie staring at me with a pained expression.

Fuck.

I told her this wasn’t a good idea.

She’s pissed. How I’m ever going to drive it home to her that I am not some fucking douchebag, out to hurt her?

That’s it. This little fucking game is over. Either way, Frannie is going to be pissed at me, but I’d much rather it be for me doing the right thing and not flirting with people in front of her face.

The rest of the meal, Frannie doesn’t even look at me. Josie, on the other hand, won’t leave me the fuck alone.

For the third time in the last ten minutes, I shove Josie’s hand off my thigh. I furrow my eyebrows at her and tell her to stop each time, but this bitch is persistent as fuck.

I finish my meal in record time, because the second Frannie leaves this table, I’m going after her.

My gaze never moves from Frannie. Her plate has hardly been touched and yet she continues to sit there and pick at it. I need her to at least look at me.

Getting desperate for some sort of communication with her, I think of the only excuse I can to engage her in front of all these people. “Dr. Mead, is my appointment still right before lunch?”

She shakes her head but doesn’t look in my direction. “No, it’s after.”

I knew that. It’s been the same time every other day since I started here. I just needed to ask her something, anything that would make her speak to me.

Frannie pushes back from the table. “If you will excuse me, I have some work I need to get finished.”

I go after her, careful to not seem too passionate in my chase in front of the others, but she speeds up when she notices me hot on her heels, rushing through the office door before trying to shut it in my face.

I wedge my boot against the jamb, and she narrows her eyes at me. “Go away, Tyke.”

“No,” I tell her firmly and push on the door. “Let me in and tell me what the fuck is going on.”

She rolls her eyes but steps back reluctantly, allowing me to enter. The moment we’re alone, I question, “What the hell was that back there? You promised you wouldn’t get pissed. This was your idea, remember?”

She wraps her arms around her torso. “This isn’t going to work, Tyke.”

“Your idea? Yeah, I already told you it wouldn’t.”

“No, I meant you and me. We’re no good for each other.”

I look at her confused. “Why would you say that? I’ve already told you how I feel about you. If you think I’m just going to throw that away—”

“You say that now,” she cuts me off. “But soon you’ll be leaving. I’ll be just another woman you spent a couple months with, and that will be that. There’s no real tie between us—nothing forcing us to stay together when you’re on the road and I’m still here.”

I need to make her see how ridiculous she’s being. She wants to push me away because of the fear she has that I’m just going to hurt her and leave her.

Without permission, I take her into my arms. She stills like a statue, but that doesn’t stop me from grabbing the back of her neck and grazing my thumb along her delicate skin. “I know what you’re doing, but I’m telling you right now that it isn’t going to work. You’re stuck with me, Frannie, so you might as well stop trying to push me away.”

Tears pool in her blue eyes, and I can tell my words are affecting her. She relaxes in my arms and stares up at me. “I wish that were true.”

“Believe it, Frannie. Believe in me. Believe in us. We can make this work; you just have to stop pushing me away. Trust me. I’m not going to leave you. You don’t have to fear being left behind by me.”

A soft sob comes out of her as she lays her head against my chest and finally returns my embrace. Pain radiates off her and I can feel it sinking into my bones. Frannie has been hurting for so long over her twin’s death. I’m not sure if I’m the best qualified person for the job, but I’m going to do my damnedest to heal her broken heart.

After I leave her office, I still know deep down there are so many things left unsaid between the two of us. I’m doing my very best to open up to her and tell her exactly how I feel about her, and yet it seems like she’s still keeping me at arm’s length.

I take a seat out by the fountain and prop my guitar on my thigh. Every time I come out here, I think of Frannie. This has become our place.

I pop the cap off the ink pen I brought out with me and open the notebook that Frannie gave me. The melody that was running through my head last night is still screaming at me. I need to get it down on paper.

The only lyrics I can think of all have to do with how I’ve been feeling lately about Frannie. All this pushing and pulling has my head spinning. One minute, I’m sure everything is going to work out, and the next moment, I don’t know what the fuck is happening between us. It drives me crazy, but being with her is worth it. I want to protect her from her pain. She makes me want to be better—not just for her, but for the band and myself.

As I strum the strings, words flow from me.

Push and Pull

Your skin makes me wanna touch you Be a part of your world

So I push you, but I won’t let you fall But you’re a hard girl to get through to All I want is to hold you and tell you it’ll be all right . . .

When I push you . . .

You pull me back

There’s nothing like, a love like that A love like that

Let me ask you

When’s the last time you’ve felt like that Bet it was with me

Bet it was with me

I’m falling for you

It’s easy to see

Without you girl, I just ain’t me There’s no future without you Give it a chance girl, give into the pull When I push you . . .

You pull me back

There’s nothing like, a love like that A love like that

Let me ask you

When’s the last time you’ve felt like that Bet it was with me

Bet it was with me

––––––––

I stare down at the unfinished song, and it hits me. There’s definitely more than just a physical connection going on between Frannie and me. It’s entirely too early to say this, but I think I might just be falling in love with her.

Chapter 15

“Try” – Pink

Frannie The guilt is really starting to get to me. Every time I give Tyke an out to walk away from me, he doesn’t take it. As a matter of fact, it only makes him fight harder to stay and convince me that he’s not going to hurt me.

Since Annie died, I haven’t been close to anyone. Not really. My father never mentions Annie and has very little time for me. Mother is, well . . . Mother—only concerned with herself. I never really had any other girlfriends who I was close to. They were more like acquaintances because Annie was my closest friend and the men in my past were just random passersby.

But Tyke . . . he’s different. Even though I’m here to help him overcome his addiction, he’s helped me in more ways than I can count. He’s the first person to be genuinely concerned for me, the first person who seemed upset when I cried. But not only has he helped me personally, but professionally, he’s my greatest success. The one client I seem to really be getting through to.

I know I’ve kept my being pregnant a secret from him because I’ve convinced myself that he’ll throw me away the first chance he gets, but maybe that isn’t a fair assessment of his level of commitment. He’s been nothing but accepting, and completely there for me when I’ve needed him over the past couple of weeks. Maybe he can handle the news of a baby.

I sigh deeply and stare down at his chart as I wait for him to come into my office for his scheduled therapy session. My mind is made up. I’ll tell him what I’ve been keeping from him so he’ll understand why I’ve been so upset lately.

The moment Tyke steps into my office, I frown as I take in the beaten-down expression on his face. This takes me aback because yesterday he seemed perfectly fine. It makes me wonder what happened between then and now.

I stand up and walk over to him as he shuts the door behind him. “Something wrong?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “I’ve been working on some songs for the new album. Trip called yesterday and we went over some of the things the label has demanded, and it worries me that we won’t be able to produce enough songs in time. I’ve only written one so far. I’m pretty proud of it, but the rest are total shit.”

I poke my bottom lip out and wrap him into a hug. Tyke sighs into my hair as he returns my embrace. “It’ll come together. I believe you can do it. You’re amazing.”

“It wouldn’t worry me if I had more time, but they want us in the studio in two weeks to record new material, and we’re not ready. It’s times like these, when I’m stressed, that I . . . ”

He trails off, reluctant to finish his sentence, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what he’s eluding to.

I pull back and stare up at him. “Do you feel like you need to use?”

Shame washes over his face at my question, telling me the answer without him even speaking. It’s then I switch into therapist mode, using the techniques that I’ve been trained in.

“This is where you need to find the will inside to steer clear of the substances that you used for comfort when you feel stressed and anxious. You need to find other ways of calming those feelings, beside drugs.”

Tears pool in his eyes. “I really am a fucking junkie, aren’t I? I didn’t want to believe it. Going through detox was a huge fucking wake-up that I was fooling myself, but now . . . the craving is fucking eating at me.” He pauses. “I don’t want to be this way. I don’t want to feel this way every time I get news that’s too hard to handle. What kind of man does that make me?”

I grab the hem of his shirt as the desperation rolls off him. I need to make him see how far he’s come already, and that he’s well on his way to overcoming the demons that plague him. “Listen to me, Tyke. You are a strong man. You can beat this. You have to find the will. You have to find something that’s worth fighting for.”

A tear slips down his cheek, and my heart breaks. The moment he reaches up to swipe it away, I grab his wrist and wipe it away for him with my free hand. “Don’t be afraid to cry with me. God knows you’ve seen me do it enough. Let me be the person who’s there for you, like you’ve been there for me.”

“I don’t want to be weak, because if I am, how am I ever going to be strong enough for you? I want to be the rock you lean on,” he whispers.

I stare into his eyes as I stroke his face. “We’ll be each other’s rock.”

With that, I kiss his lips, quieting his fear that he’s not man enough for me. His mouth works in time with mine as his body begins to relax against me. This is helping take his mind off the anxiety he’s feeling, but I can tell we’ve got a long way to go before he has a firm handle on his addiction. Being able to divert his need to use will be huge for him—once he figures out healthy ways to deal with issues that stress him.

For the time being, I know telling him that I’m pregnant won’t be good for him. He’s got enough stress, worrying about the band’s new album, without me springing the news on him that I’m having his baby. I’ll tell him, when the time is right.

When I’m sure that he can handle the news without relapsing.

The cell on my desk rings just as I’m finishing up my notes from Arnold’s session. Mother’s name flashes across the screen, and I sigh while I answer. “Hello, Mother.”

“Francine, darling. It’s so good to hear your voice,” she replies and I stiffen, recognizing this tone as the one she uses when she’s trying to butter me up.

“What is it now, Mother?” I ask, snapping the laptop closed.

“Is it a crime for a mother to simply call her daughter and be nice?”

I roll my eyes, because for her, yes, it is. “I know there’s something you want or else you wouldn’t be calling.”

“Oh, all right,” she huffs. “There is something I want, but I would also like to see you. I miss you, darling.”

I raise my eyebrows. That’s the first time she’s wanted to spend time with me in a long while.

“I’m going out of town next weekend, and I’m asking you to please watch Spencer and Ruby for me. Last time I had to leave them with Nickolas, and the poor dears were shaking little messes when I returned. I don’t want to inflict any additional trauma on them. Will you please do this for me?”

Poor Nickolas, my parents’ private chef, hates those two damn dogs almost as much as I do. I bet he was fuming that he got stuck being their caregiver when I refused my mother’s request last time. Mother’s lucky that Ruby and Spencer weren’t poisoned by the time she returned.

“Oh please, Frannie.” My mother’s plea sounds genuine, and while I’m not completely thrilled about the idea of dog sitting the two little mongrels, I do like that she’s actually sounding sincere this time.

Besides, a little distance between Tyke and me might be a good thing. A little time for me to get away from this place and reflect on my situation, and how I’m going to break the news to him, might be beneficial.

“I’ll do it,” I tell her. “I’ll take the train first thing Friday morning and be there by dinner.”

“Oh, thank you.” The relief in her voice comes through crystal clear. “I can’t wait to see you, dear. It’s been too long since I’ve seen my girl.”

Her last sentence chokes me up. I remember a time when she would have ended that same line in the plural because she would be referring to both Annie and I. It was nice back then. When we felt almost like a family, versus this discombobulated mess we are now.

“I’ll see you soon,” I tell her before I end our call.

I stare down at my hand, resting protectively over my stomach, and wonder if it will be as easy for me to pretend this baby didn’t exist when I give it away to some family who is ready for a child. Handling the loss of my sister has been devastating, and I just don’t know how I’m going to handle carrying a child that I’m eventually going to give away.

I wrap my arms around my torso and inhale deeply. Tyke’s scent lingers on my skin and clothes. It was harder than expected to tell him goodbye this morning, but it’s something I’m going to have to deal with very soon.

The train pulls into the station, and I quickly gather my bag. That’s the thing about quick trips back home—packing is very light.

I make my way to the front of the station, smiling when I find our driver, Ricardo, wearing his signature black suit and white gloves as he waits by my family’s black Lincoln Town Car. “Ricardo, it’s so nice to see you. How are the little ones?”

He takes my bag from me and opens the back door. “They’re excellent, Ms. Mead. The little one just had his fourth birthday last weekend.”

“Four?” I say as I climb into the backseat. “I can’t believe he’s that old already.”

“Time flies when it comes to children. My oldest will be fourteen this year,” he says with a proud smile that accentuates his white teeth against his dark complexion. “Having children is the most rewarding thing in the world.”

“I bet,” I reply before he shuts me inside, and I place a protective hand over my stomach.

One day, when I’m settled and with a man who’s ready for a family, I’d love to experience the same joy that Ricardo does. I think having a child will be an amazing experience, and I’m looking forward to that someday, but just not right now.

Once he deposits my bag in the trunk, we head toward my family home, and it doesn’t take long before we reach Lincoln Park. The moment Ricardo pulls onto Burling Street my palms begin to sweat. It’s not that I’m scared of my parents or anything, but it’s just so hard for me to be here without Annie. Everything in this place has a memory of her attached to it.

He pulls up to the largest house on the street, and I stare up at the immaculate gray home with all its breathtaking architectural features. It wasn’t until I grew up and started mingling with people outside our family’s social circles that I realized how lavishly we actually lived. Before losing my sister, my world was all about proper social standings and finding the right CEO husband who would enable me to continue in that manner. I didn’t know that the rest of America didn’t have the same upbringing I did.

After losing Annie, and getting lost in the wild life of college crowds, I learned that engaging in meaningless sex took my mind off my pretentious world, and made me forget what it would be like to endure it without my confidant.

Ricardo opens the car door and I step out, beginning my ascent toward the house. The moment I enter the house, Ruby and Spencer come sprinting down the staircases, barking as loud as they possibly can. I kneel down and pet them as they wag their tails and lick my hands, causing me to smile.

Damn those cute little pests for making me love them even though I don’t want to.

“Francine? Is that you?” Mother glides into the room wearing a pressed skirt and blouse.

Her dark hair is pulled into a tight French twist, and her makeup is perfect. To most women, this would be office attire, but for my mother, it’s her outfit for just another day around the house.

I stand to greet her. “Hello, Mother.”

She stretches her arms out and embraces me in a firm hug before pulling back and kissing both of my cheeks. “Let me take a look at you.”

Her eyes inspect me carefully as she pulls away, and she pulls my arms out to my side. “You look different. Have you met a man?”

My mouth gapes open. How in the hell could she possibly know that?

I’m at a loss for words for a moment, stunned by her perceptiveness, but I do know that I’m not ready to tell her about Tyke just yet. “Why would you assume there’s a man?”

She smiles slyly and arches a perfectly manicured brow. “Because, Dear, you’re practically glowing . . . which means there’s a man.”

I laugh and roll my eyes. “You and your assumptions. No, there’s no one.”

“Well, good.” She takes my arm and wraps it in the crook of hers as she leads me off to the parlor, where she just came from. “I’ve got someone I want you to meet.”

Oh, boy. Here she goes—matchmaking again. When is she ever going to learn that these stuffy suit types don’t do a thing for me? Wishful thinking on her part, I guess.

We enter the room and my father and a couple of men in suits are standing around, puffing on cigars and drinking brandy from expensive crystal glasses. My father is fifteen years my mother’s senior, pushing well into his sixties. His hair is a little more silver than the last time I saw him six months ago and his fitted gray suit hugs his thin body.

The moment Father spots me, he smiles and pulls the cigar from his mouth. “Gentlemen, I’d like you all to meet my daughter, Francine, who is home for the weekend.”

I walk over and hug him and kiss his cheek, knowing that while I’m here I have to play the part of doting daughter. “Hello, Daddy.”

The men take turns greeting me, each taking the time to shake my hand and introduce themselves to me. It’s not until I get to the last man when I understand that this is the one Mother intended for me to meet.

He’s tall, broad-shouldered, and extremely handsome. The definition in his chest is obvious, even through the tailored jacket and dress shirt he’s wearing. The dark hair on his head is styled neatly, complementing the black-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, and the hint of a smile playing along his lips tells me that he’s checking me out as well.

“Hello, Francine. I’m Jacob Myers, CEO of Mead Enterprises.” He gives me a firm handshake that lasts just a little too long as I process what he’s just said.

I see exactly where Mother was hoping this would go, but I hate to break it to her that I’m simply not interested in any man who isn’t Tyke Douglas right now.

I smile politely. “It was so nice to have met all of you, but if you’ll excuse me, I just arrived and need to get settled in.”

A collective “It was nice to meet you” response echoes around the room, and my mother’s lips pull into a tight line as I pass by her. Clearly, she’s disappointed that I’m not all over my father’s new hunky CEO, but she’s just going to have to get over that.

I toss my purse onto the bed and then flop down next to it. I don’t know why I’m so exhausted. It’s not like riding on the train is hard work or anything, but all I feel like doing is napping.

My phone vibrates inside my purse, and I dig around to retrieve it. Ever since that stupid video email came in, I’ve been obsessive about checking any and all messages the moment I receive them. It’s nerve-racking waiting on a response from the blackmailer.

My email app shows one new message so I quickly open it, and my heart begins to race when I see that it’s from the same anonymous address.

This subject line simply says: You’re Not Special.

I swallow hard as I read on.

Thought you’d want to know what he does behind your back. Imagine all the fun he’ll have on the road.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Citizen

When I scroll down further, I find a photo attachment. I click on it and gasp the moment the picture appears on my screen. Tears burn my eyes before they spill out because there, clear as day, are Tyke and Josie . . .

Kissing.

Chapter 16

“Change” – Def Tones

Tyke The strings beneath my calloused fingers vibrate with the rhythm of the new song I’m working on. It’s a grungy, up-tempo beat that could definitely be considered single material. I hum the bar as I pause and jot down a few notes into my notebook.

I can’t wait to get into the studio and lay down some tracks to a few of the songs I’ve written over the past couple of days. Ever since Frannie and I opened up to one another, I feel like a weight has been lifted, allowing the creativity to radiate from me. It’s been a long time since I felt so focused.

“Hey, Tyke,” Josie’s voice cuts through my concentration and grates on my nerves.

This chick is fucking relentless.

“Hey.”

I answer without glancing in her direction, hoping she’ll take the hint that I’m busy and go away. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work, and instead, she plops down next to me on the bench in front of the fountain and sighs. “I’ve never been out here before. It’s nice. A little too quiet for my taste, but nice.”

“Well maybe you should go back inside, then,” I snap, giving her a more direct hint that she’s not wanted out here.

It doesn’t faze her because she shrugs. “I’d rather not if you’re out here.”

I shake my head. “Look, Josie, you and me . . . it’s not going to happen.” She opens her mouth to protest but I quickly cut her off. “Ever.”

Her lips twist and her head snaps back. “You can’t turn me down. Men don’t do that to me. Not when I offer them what I’m about to give you.”

I scrub my hand down my face and count to ten in my head so I don’t fucking lose it with this pushy bitch. “Read my fucking lips: I’m—not—interested. Go away.”

She flinches, but then grins before reaching over and grabbing my face and smashing her lips to mine. This takes me by surprise, and I quickly shove her off me. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand as I stand. “Don’t ever touch me again.”

The grin on her face falls when she takes in the contempt in my expression.

I don’t give her a chance to say anything else before I grab my shit and get the fuck out of there. Flirting with these unstable women was a horrible fucking idea. I’m so glad Frannie finally came to her senses because I don’t know how much longer I could have put up with Josie’s psychotic, pushy ass.

When I get back to my room, I pull out my phone and text Frannie. She only left this morning, but I miss her already. This place isn’t the same without her.

I fire a text off to let her know that I’m thinking of her.

Tyke: I miss you.

I lay my phone down on the nightstand and then drift off to sleep as I wait on her response.

The next morning, I shove my legs over the side of the bed and sit up. I scrub the sleep out of my eyes and then reach for my cell.

No response from Frannie. A frown creeps over my lips. I’m severely disappointed. I think our relationship is at a point where I warrant a reply, especially considering it only takes a couple seconds to respond back to a text.

I finish getting ready, deciding not to let it get me down too much because it’s possible she was really busy, or her phone could have been dead after traveling. As soon as I make it to the dining room, I find myself face-to-face with Josie, who doesn’t look too pleased to see me this morning. Her glare tells me that if she could shoot me and get away with it, I’d already be a dead man.

I think the bitch finally got the hint. All it took was for me to be a major dick to make her understand that she and I weren’t going to fucking happen.

Throughout breakfast, I obsessively check my phone like a crushing schoolgirl, waiting for Frannie to message me back. I’ve sent her three more texts but won’t allow myself to send any more because it would just make me look even more desperate.

It’s not until it’s nearly dinnertime that I begin to worry, choosing to wander around outside because I’m too antsy to stay in the main house.

Mine and Frannie’s relationship is still pretty fresh, and we’ve got a lot to learn about each other as we continue to grow together, so I’m not sure if this lack of communication is an indication that she’s pissed at me for something that I’m unaware that I’ve done, or if she’s just busy. I need to let her know that if I’ve done something, I’m sorry.

I set out toward her cottage, completely unsure if I can even get in, but that’s the best place to leave a note without it being discovered.

One of the things I’ve learned during this treatment program is to tell people exactly how I feel, instead of bottling my emotions up. Doing that was one of the things that pushed me deeper into my downward spiral. I hope Frannie, of all people, will understand that I need communication.

When her cottage comes into view, I quicken my pace and rush to the front door. I turn the knob, but it’s locked tight.

“Damn,” I mutter to myself, before heading around to the side of the building.

The first window I try is locked, too, but the second opens with ease the moment I push up on the glass. I glance around, and when I’m sure that nobody’s watching, I shove the window completely open and hoist myself inside.

It looks exactly the same as the last time I was in here—the last day I was buried deep inside her.

I know it’s a touch creepy, but I pick up a pillow off her bed and bring it up to my face. Her flowery scent invades my senses as I inhale deeply.

It makes me miss her even more.

After I put the pillow down, I make my way to the small desk across the room and pull a pick from my pocket and write “Miss You” on the back of it. I place it on the desk, along with a piece of notebook paper with a single song title on it: ““What If I Was Nothing” —All That Remains.”

My hope is that, no matter what she’s pissed at me about, she’ll forgive me and understand that I’m not going anywhere.

I’m humming the song, thinking of how accurate the lyrics are in describing how I feel toward Frannie, when I glance down into the small wicker bin beside her desk. A small pink box with the word pregnancy catches my eye. I suck in a quick breath.

“What the fuck?” I question out loud, bending down and pulling the box out of the trash.

The words pregnancy test make my eyes widen and my heart does a double thump in my chest. I recall our little incident in the woods, knowing the fact that I came inside her, if Frannie is pregnant, that baby belongs to me.

I swallow hard and lick my suddenly dry lips. I told her I wasn’t ready to be a father. If she’s pregnant, no wonder she’s not speaking to me. I probably seem like a complete fucking asshole right now.

The urgent need to find out if she is pregnant rushes through me. I could try calling her, but seeing as how she’s not even returning my texts, she’s probably even less likely to take a call from me.

I flip the wicker basket upside down, dumping all of the contents on her floor. Nothing but paper and other pieces of trash litter the ground.

No test.

I jam my fingers into my hair, gripping handfuls of it in my hands as I rush into the bathroom and find another trashcan. I flip that one over as well, thinking it’s empty, too, until a ball of toilet paper makes a small thud as it drops onto the wood floor.

My hands shake and I reach down to unroll the paper, revealing a small plastic stick. I let out a slow breath through pursed lips as I flip the stick over in my hands, exposing the little results window. Two pink lines appear, clear as day.

I rush back into the main room, and rummage around in the mess I’ve made on the floor before I find the box. My eyes quickly scan the back panel until they find confirmation that two pink lines mean that Frannie’s pregnant.

Pregnant.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

I brace myself against the desk, and I clamp my eyes shut.

Fuck.

Shit.

Dammit.

I pinch the bridge of my nose as my anxiety levels hit a new all-time high and every muscle in my body shakes. It was situations like these that drove me to prescription drugs in the first place—the feeling of being lost in a situation that I can’t change.

The need to use something to help me relax crawls through my skin, turning on its seductive promise to make me feel better. The thought of giving in hits me hard. I could turn away and leave this place: go find something that will settle my nerves and make me forget.

As soon as that last thought rolls through my brain, I realize what will happen if I walk out of here. Not only will I be walking away from sobriety, I’ll be walking away from Frannie, basically confirming that she was right not to trust me. That I’m a selfish bastard who runs from things, who hides in a world where things stay foggy just so I don’t have to deal with my problems. It would kill me if she thought of me that way.

I meant what I told her the other day: I want to be a stronger man for her.

Standing in that little cottage, the need to stay clearheaded hits me like a ton of fucking bricks. I don’t want to pretend. I want to deal with the situation. I want Frannie to let me in and allow me to help her get through this.

Together.

Chapter 17

“Say It” — Blue October

Frannie All weekend long, I ignore every message Tyke sends me. One thing my blackmailer had correct is that I’m nothing special to him, because if I really mean something to him, he wouldn’t be lip-locking with Josie Sullivan the moment I’m out of sight. If I were special, kissing her wouldn’t have crossed his mind.

I turn my phone on and swipe my finger over the screen as the train approaches the Cincinnati terminal. A new message catches my eye, and I click on the little envelope. The anonymous emailer has gotten a little braver. They haven’t allowed so much time to elapse between contacts this time. The subject line of this email simply reads: It’s Time.

By now you know that I’m capable of digging up dirt. You should know that I’ve done my research on you as well. Don’t think I don’t know exactly who your father is, and how much money he’s worth. Between Tyke Douglas and yourself, you should be able to come up with enough money to allow me to live a pretty comfortable lifestyle. So here is my demand. I want two million dollars, in cash, brought to me by the end of this week. That should be ample time to pool your funds. On Friday I will email you again with instructions on where to leave the money. If you’re thinking of blowing off my request, Dr. Mead, I’d think again. I’m sure a nice woman like you has plenty of skeletons in her closet if someone chose to dig around enough.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Citizen

I scroll down and find an old picture of me with my top off at a college frat party attached to the email. This was taken a couple years ago when I was in the height of my random sexual Olympics. I don’t even remember the name of the guy whose lap I’m straddling in the photo. One thing’s for sure: I won’t give whoever this is sending me these emails any additional incentive to go digging around in my past. No good will come of it.

After I collect my bag, I exit the train and make it out to passenger pick up, fully expecting Wayne to be waiting for me like the last time I arrived, but I’m surprised when I spot Kimmy leaning against her beat-up red Honda, a huge smile on her face.

“Surprise! I volunteered to pick you up,” she says as she greets me with a hug.

I stiffen in her arms, not expecting the warm greeting. “Thank you.”

She pulls back and then heads toward her trunk. “It was no problem. Besides, I figured it would be a good time for us to talk.”

While I highly doubt the blackmailer is Kimmy, I don’t like the way she said that. It’s like she knows some juicy secret that she can’t wait to spill, and it puts me on edge.

Traveling down the highway toward Serenity, I glance over at Kimmy, silently willing her to spill whatever beans she’s holding.

Finally, she takes a breath and asks, “What’s going on with you and Tyke?”

I shove my hair back from my face. I know she knows about us, but I’d like to keep exactly what she knows to a minimum. “Nothing more than what you already know.”

She shakes her head. “Oh, I don’t think so. There’s got to be more. You should’ve seen him this weekend.”

The picture of him kissing Josie floods my brain, and I can honestly say I didn’t miss him at all after seeing that. As a matter of fact, just thinking about him doing that pisses me off.

I sit quietly, trying to pretend that I don’t want to hear what exactly Tyke did this weekend, but my damn curious brain wins out and I ask, “What should I have seen?”

“Ha!” Kimmy laughs and smacks the steering wheel. “I knew there was more than just sex going on with the two of you. If I tell you what I saw, will you tell me about what’s going on?”

I should say no, but it would be nice to get some of these feelings off my chest. It might be stupid and naive for me to confide in her, but I haven’t had anyone to talk to about what’s going on with me. Talking to Kimmy would be nice.

“Deal.”

“Awesome.” She grins even wider. “Okay, so while you were away, it was like he was lost. Tyke moped around, checking his phone every five minutes. It was totally cute. Of course, no one else but me seemed to notice how sad he was because he keeps pretty much to himself most of the time, with the exception of his random flirtiness last week, but that’s beside the point. That guy has it bad for you.”

Warmth grows inside my chest at the thought of Tyke missing me, but the fuzzy feeling is instantly ripped away when I think about that picture I was sent. “I don’t know, Kimmy.”

“Wait. Hold up. You think he doesn’t? Have you seen the way the man looks at you?” she asks, flabbergasted.

I stare straight ahead as I think about the possibility that the blackmailer may have just been at the right place to catch a picture that would make Tyke appear to not give a shit about me. It’s possible, I suppose, that I have the situation all wrong, but a picture speaks a thousand fucking words.

“Now, I’ve told you a little something. You going to tell me how serious the two of you are?” Kimmy’s question pulls me away from deep thought.

I sigh. A promise is a promise.

“We’re pretty serious, I guess,” I tell her honestly. “We barely know each other, and yet when we’re together, it always feels so intense. I don’t think we’re going to work out, though.”

“I’m sorry. That sucks.” She frowns. “He seems deep, like he’s always got something on his mind, and a hard person to get to know.”

She’s quiet for a moment and then she smiles. “When you say intense . . . does that carry over into the bedroom?”

I blush fiercely, and decide it can’t hurt to be a little candid about our sex life.

“It does.”

I glance over at her, and we both burst out in a fit of giggles. It feels good to laugh. It’s been far too long since I’ve done that.

The moment we park at Serenity, I make my way to the cottage to drop off my bag before I set off to find Tyke. I need answers. After unlocking the door, I set my bag just inside the entry without going all the way in and then quickly relock the door.

I pull my cell out of my pocket and send a quick text to Tyke.

Frannie: I’m back. Want to see you. Where are you?

I keep my phone in my hand as I make my way to the main house, hoping that even though I’ve ignored his texts, he’ll answer mine. I check the time on my phone and see that it’s almost time for dinner to be over, so I make my way toward the dining hall in hopes of finding him. Before I get there, my phone chimes with a new message.

Tyke: By the fountain in five.

It’s time we get everything out in the open. If he means what he says about wanting to be with me, then now is the time for him to prove it. He can also tell me why in the hell he was kissing Josie Sullivan.

When I come to the top of the hill, I allow my eyes to travel down the path and find Tyke, sitting on a bench, facing the fountain. He’s too far away for me to be able to read his expression, but he’s staring straight ahead, like he’s lost in deep thought.

The moment I step into his line of sight he stiffens, which takes me aback because I don’t think he knows that I know he kissed Josie.

“Hey,” I say as I approach him.

He leans forward and rests his elbows on his thighs as he rubs his palms together. “Why didn’t you text me back this weekend, Frannie?”

I bite my lip to keep from lashing out. I don’t want to be the cause of a relapse. So instead of saying anything, I stand there and allow the silence to wrap around us.

Tyke stares at me for a long moment, gauging my reaction. When I don’t reply, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Were you ever going to tell me, or were you hoping I would go away and never find out?”

My mouth gapes open, but I quickly shut it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t, huh?” Tyke stands and reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a slender piece of plastic. “Then tell me what the fuck this positive pregnancy test was doing in your trash.”

The breath whooshes out of me, and I clutch my chest as the guilt sets in. “You broke into my cottage?”

“Don’t try to change the fucking subject.” When I still don’t answer, he raises his voice. “Tell me!”

I knew I should’ve told him, but I had my reasons for keeping quiet. “Why would I? You don’t want a baby, remember?”

“Don’t give me a bunch of bullshit, Frannie. It was wrong of you not to tell me, and you know it. I told you if something happened, we’d deal with it together. If you ever expect a relationship between us to work—”

A sarcastic laugh bubbles out of my throat. “What makes you think I want anything to do with you now?”

“You don’t mean that.” Pain flickers over his face.

It’s a low blow, but he needs to know that he hurt me and that I can never trust him again.

I square my shoulders as I fight back tears. “Why wouldn’t I? It’s obvious you don’t care about me, so why would I want a relationship with you?”

Two long strides and he’s in front of me, gripping my shoulders as I try to turn away, but he pinches my chin between his thumb and forefinger and forces me to look at him. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I care more about you than anything else in this world right now. Frannie . . .” He swallows hard and places his hand on my stomach. “I need you. Don’t break my heart. Give me a chance to be a good man to you—to both of you.”

I close my eyes and let the tears stream down my face. It takes a moment before I have the courage to look at him again and remain strong. “Then why would the blackmailer send me a picture of you kissing Josie?”

I fully expect him to break into a string of excuses on why his lips were locked on another woman, but he doesn’t do that. Matter of fact, he does something that startles me.

He laughs.

I stare up at him with a perplexed expression because I’m positive he’s lost his ever-lovin’ mind. “Why are you laughing? It’s not funny.”

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. “Oh, Frannie. Is that why you’re mad at me?”

I push my hands against his chest, attempting to shove him back a bit, but without much luck. “Yes. That’s exactly why I’m upset. Explain yourself.”

His shoulders relax a bit. “She kissed me out of now here. I shoved her off and told the bitch to take a fucking hike. Whoever is snapping pictures and videos of us was obviously spying again and caught that.”

He wipes a tear off my cheek with his thumb. “I’d never hurt you like that. When I told you that you were special to me, I meant it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away about that kiss.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and inhale his scent. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away that I was pregnant. It was wrong of me.”

He hugs me back and whispers in my ear, “No more secrets, okay? From now on, we handle everything together.”

“Speaking of everything, I finally got a response from the blackmailer.”

Tyke pulls back. “Did they send demands?”

I nod. “They want two million dollars, in cash, by Friday.”

“Fuck,” he says. “That’s a lot of fucking money to keep a goddamn video from hitting the web.”

“Tell me about it.”

He sighs. “Looks like you’ll be hitting the road with me after the video goes viral.”

I furrow my brow. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not giving anyone that much money to keep the fact that I’m with you a secret. I don’t give a fuck if the world knows that I’m in love with you. I suppose you’ll be jobless when Dr. Shepherd sees it, so you’ll have plenty of time to come with me on the road.”

My eyes widen at his admission. “You . . . you love me?”

He leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips. “Yes. You and this baby are my world now. I won’t let anyone hurt you. Trust me to do right by you. We’ll take out this asshole together.”

My heart does a double thump in my chest. Tyke Douglas just told me he loves me. Tears streak down my face as I envision a life without darkness—one filled with light. I can picture him holding me in his arms as we stand over a crib and watch our baby sleep. God, it seems so farfetched, but damn if I don’t want it to be true. This could be my shot at happiness.

I trace my fingertips over the stubble on his cheek and stare into his green eyes—eyes that reflect nothing but love as he stares back at me. He’s told me exactly how he feels. There’s no guessing because he shows it in his actions, too, and I wonder if I can ever love him back the same way.

As soon as I allow myself to think about it, the answer swells in my chest. Yes. Yes, I can love him back because he’s been nothing but kind and loving to me since we met. How can I not admit that I feel the same way about him?

I smile just before I whisper, “I love you, too.”

He picks me up in his arms, and he spins us around before he sets me back on my feet and cradles my face in his hands. “I’m going to make you happy, Frannie. I swear it.”

It’s then that I realize my mistake. All this time I never understood that in order to find love again, all I had to do was open up my heart to the possibility of it.

Chapter 18

“Nobody Knows” – The Tony Rich Project

Tyke It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like my life had true direction—even longer since I was in a situation that made me happy, without it having anything to do with Black Falcon.

It’s hard to admit, but it took me finding Frannie and going through some majorly fucked-up shit before I could relate to what the rest of my band mates were experiencing. I finally understand why Black Falcon sometimes took a backseat to the things going on in their personal lives.

The time has finally come where I’m ready to reconnect with the guys. To sit down and have a heart-to-heart about everything that’s been going on. I’m ready to sit down and open up about my feelings and tell them exactly what pushed me over the edge.

It’s time they knew exactly how bad my anxiety is.

Trip answers his phone on the second ring. “Brother! How are things in the big house? Bubba make you his bitch yet?”

I roll my eyes. My brother is an absolute idiot. “Fuck you, dude. It’s rehab, not prison.”

Asshole.

He snickers into the phone. “Oh right, my bad.” Trip pauses for a long moment before he asks, “You clean and sober yet?”

I adjust the phone against my ear. “I haven’t been this clearheaded in a long time. I’ve confronted a lot of issues here, but we still need to talk—really talk. I think I’m finally ready to have a sit-down with you and the guys. I’m ready to listen to whatever you guys have to say. To show you guys that I’m back and ready to be a part of this band.”

“It’s about fucking time!” Trip exclaims. “I need the mad scientist back in the lab with me. This new album is going to be sick with you laying down the melodies and lyrics.”

I smile, glad that we’re almost back to the way we used to be. No bickering or finger pointing— just being brothers and talking music.

We sit in silence for a moment and a thought rushes to mind. “Do you think the guys would be willing to come here?”

“So we can all sit down and talk? Yeah, man. I think they’d do anything to help you get better. Riff and Noel love you, too. They might not tell you like I do, but we all care about you, Tyke.”

I rub the back of my neck as a single tear falls from my eye. “You know, you can be an all right bastard sometimes.”

Trip chuckles into the phone. “I have my moments. Speaking of moments, what’s going on with you and your hot doctor lady?”

I sigh and lean back in my chair. “I’m in love, man.”

“In love? Shut the fuck up! No shit? Wow.” Even I can hear the wonder in his voice. “It’s about fucking time. You aren’t getting any younger over there.”

I laugh. “Fuck you, dude. Twenty-seven isn’t old. I’m in my fucking prime. Speaking of prime . . . there’s something else I need to tell you.”

“Shit? What?” His tone suddenly growing serious. “I don’t like when you say shit like that because it’s usually followed by bad fucking news.”

“Well, it’s not bad, exactly, just . . . unexpected,” I tell him.

“Hot doctor lady is knocked-up, isn’t she?” he asks, but the inflection of his voice makes it seem like he already knew.

“She is,” I answer honestly. “And it’s mine.”

“Wow. Goes to rehab to get straightened up and comes back with a woman and kid. Weren’t you pissed at Noel and Riff for this very thing?”

I run my fingers through my shaggy blond hair. “I guess I didn’t fucking get it before—the whole wife and kids thing. I didn’t understand how anything could ever be more important than the music, you know. It’s taken me getting into the same situation to see just how things change when you fall in love. I owe Noel and Riff both a huge-ass apology—you, too. I’m sorry, Trip. I’m sorry for giving you shit over Holly. I’m truly happy that you’ve got her.”

Trip sniffs on the other end of the line. “Shit, man. Now you’ve gone and made me turn on the fucking waterworks like a pussy. Thank you. You don’t know how fucking nice it is to hear you say that. It’s good to have you back, brother.”

I smile. “It’s good to be back.”

If I keep pacing back and forth like this, I’m going to wear off the gray paint on the porch floor. It’s hard to recall a time when I’ve felt this nervous. Trip and the guys were already in Kentucky when I talked to my brother yesterday, so they were all game for driving out to Serenity today. Now is my time to prove to the band that I’m clearheaded and worthy of their trust again. I hope they can see that I’ve changed in the weeks that I’ve been here and welcome me back into the fold, without the crazy tension we had before.

The hum of an approaching engine catches my ear and my body stills as I stare intently at the winding driveway. A blue minivan pulls into view, and I laugh. Never in all my years did I ever expect Riff to be the guy who cruises around in one of those soccer mom mobiles.

My palms begin to sweat as the van parks, and I know it’s time to face the guys. Noel hops out of the passenger seat first, Trip following a close second through the sliding side door in the back. Riff exits last.

Riff’s extra tall Mohawk, tattoos, and lip ring makes the whole minivan situation even more comical. It so doesn’t fit the tough guy persona he’d always portrayed to the world until he married Aubrey.

I make my way off the porch so I can get a better look at Riff’s vehicle.

“Nice ride,” I tell him, a smirk on my face as I clasp my hand with his and give him a quick chest bump, and then do the same with Noel and my brother.

Riff’s lips twist like he’s doing his best to fight back a smile. “Shut it, fucker. It’s practical.”

I roll my eyes. “Now you sound like Aubrey. Man, does she have you whipped.”

“Ha!” A sarcastic laugh bubbles out of his throat. “You just wait. Your time’s coming.”

I rub the back of my neck and stay quiet, knowing that my brother has probably told them about my situation with Frannie.

“Yeah, that’s right. No more smart-ass jokes now I’ve brought up the hot doctor lady,” Riff teases. “We know all about that shit, but don’t worry, we won’t let it slip. Trip already told us it’s a secret because she works here.”

I nod my head as heat floods my cheeks.

“Pretty soon you’ll be driving one of these bad boys.” Riff jerks his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of his vehicle, and then points his gaze in my brother’s direction. “Both of you.”

Trip throws his hands in the air, palms up, in protest. “Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. There’s no way in hell I’ll ever be driving a fucking mom mobile. That shit’s lame.”

“It’s going to be funny to see them both eat those words when they have kids.” Noel laughs as he teams up with Riff. “They have no idea what they’re in for.”

Riff folds his tattooed arms over his chest. “Oh yeah.”

Trip shakes his head. “Nuh-uh. Not this guy. Even when Holly and I start making babies, I’ll still have a sweet-ass ride. My girl is a Mustang fanatic. There’s no way she’ll be caught dead driving one of those.”

Noel and Riff exchange a knowing glance before both of them chuckle.

“Keep telling yourself that, dude.” Noel smiles and then his gaze flits over to me for a brief moment before returning to my twin. “Your brother is about to be Team Dad soon, and he’ll tell you the same thing, so you might as well get prepared because it’s going to happen.”

Before we have a chance to say anything else, the screen door shuts behind us and we all turn and face the porch. Frannie stands there, watching us, and she’s never looked more beautiful. Her dark hair falls in long waves over her shoulders and the black skirt and blue top she wears only bring out the blue in her eyes even more. She smiles warmly, and I can’t pull my gaze away from the absolute perfection before me.

“Damn,” Trip says next to me. “That’s the hot doctor lady? She’s fine.”

I jam my elbow into his ribs, and he grunts. I turn to Noel and Riff. “Guys, this is Dr. Francine Mead. She’s my addiction therapist.”

Frannie walks down the steps carefully in her heels. “Hello, gentlemen.”

I walk over and take her hand, helping her off the last step. My fingers linger against her skin a little too long, but it’s hard not to touch her. Keeping how I feel about her secret is so—fucking—difficult. I wish I could shout it from the rooftops, but I know doing that will cause problems for her, so I force all my feelings to stay locked up inside.

I quickly introduce her to all the guys, each of them nothing but respectful as they shake her hand. A few years ago, they would’ve competed to catch her eye and steal her away from me, but now that they’ve all settled down, they only have eyes for their respective woman.

“I’m so glad you could all make it out. When Tyke told me he’d invited all of you to sit down and talk, I couldn’t have been happier. He’s made some real progress with his addiction, and I think it’s very important that he be very open with all of you so that you can support him through his recovery. He’s going to need your support, as this will be an ongoing struggle to stay clean for the rest of his life,” Frannie tells them.

If I were the old me, I would’ve denied everything that she’s saying, but I know now that I do have an addiction and that it’s impossible to deal with things alone. I’ll need the guys’ support if I’m going to succeed in taking control of my life.

“I know you all have crazy schedules, so if you gentlemen will follow me, we’ll get our group session started,” Frannie instructs the guys, before turning and heading back toward the main house.

When the guys enter into the place that’s been my home for the better part of the last two months, Trip lets out a low whistle. “Damn, the brochures on this place weren’t fucking kidding. This is a palace.”

“It hasn’t been too bad staying here,” I say as I stand beside my brother.

Trip’s head turns in my direction, and there’s a smart-ass grin all over his face. “I bet.”

He doesn’t elaborate, but I know exactly how my twin thinks. In his mind, I’ve been fucking the hot doctor lady all over this fancy place, but what he doesn’t know is how god-awful the days I spent detoxing were. That was the worst experience I’ve ever lived through, and the biggest wake-up call I’ve ever received. Not only did this place give me the woman that I’m in love with, but a fucking eye-opener, too—showing me just how fucked up I was, and that I need to change.

Frannie leads us to her office and pushes the door open. Two folding chairs have been brought into the space across from the couch.

“Have a seat, gentlemen. Tyke,” she turns to me, “you might want to grab your guitar. Playing a song may help you break the ice.”

I nod. “That’s a great idea. I’ll be right back.” I lean in to kiss her cheek, but she presses a hand against my chest, and I suddenly remember that I’m not allowed. “Sorry.”

She smiles. “Soon, we won’t have to worry about all that. We’ll leave here together, and you can kiss me any time you want.”

“You’ve finally decided to give us a real go?” I waggle my eyebrows. “That’ll be nice.”

“Indeed,” she purrs. “I’ve decided that I can’t give you up.” She shrugs. “I’m addicted to you now.”

I smile. “I’ll be your vice any time, babe.”

Frannie laughs. “Hurry back. I’ll get the guys all settled in.”

After rushing up to my room and grabbing my baby from the corner, I hurry back to Frannie’s office.

Around the corner, I can hear Riff’s voice drift into the hallway. “Do you think it’s too soon for Tyke to come back on tour with us? Is he ready?”

“Tyke has done a one-eighty since he’s been here. He’s clearheaded and seems focused. One of his biggest priorities has been working on new songs for the next album. He’s worked very hard to prove not only to all of you, but to himself, that he’s ready. I think as long as he maintains that drive to succeed and stays away from any outside factors that may tempt him to use again, he’ll do very well,” Frannie tells the guys.

Hearing what she thinks of me without her knowing I’m listening makes me smile. I love that she believes in me.

“I think Tyke’s biggest challenge will be himself. He lets everything get in his head and convinces himself that bad shit’s going to happen. He’s been that way since we were kids,” Trip chimes in.

“He’s well aware of that problem, too, and he’s working hard to find other outlets for his anxiety—music being one of them,” Frannie says.

“And let’s not forget Gabby. We have a few more shows left with Sex Arsenal on this tour. Once he’s back, she’ll be trying to get her hooks into him again,” Noel adds.

“I don’t think that chick will be an issue anymore. He’s got hot doctor lady now,” Trip counters.

“Mr. Douglas, please call me Frannie,” my girl corrects my brother, and it makes me smile.

“No way. Hot doctor lady fits you so much better.” He laughs.

Noel clears his throat. “I think you better call her Frannie. Holly will chop off your nuts if you keep calling another woman hot.”

All the guys laugh.

“Holly loves my nuts too much to hurt them,” Trip jokes. “Besides, she’s going to want kids someday and keep up with all you assholes popping ’em out left, right, and center. I have to tell you, though, I’m excited to be an uncle. I’m going to have fun spoiling that kid.”

“That’s so sweet of you, Mr. Douglas.”

“Frannie, please just call me Trip. We’re family now, right?”

“Okay,” she replies.

It hits me. I can really picture this happening—a future with Frannie. I can see her interacting with Trip and the guys, and I know she’ll get along with Lanie, Aubrey, and Holly. Frannie fits into my world perfectly.

I take a deep breath and push open the door. All eyes are on me, and it’s suddenly very quiet in the room. Pressure crushes down on me as I take a seat on the couch next to the chair Frannie’s sitting in, just like when we’re in a session. I need to explain to these guys how I feel, and like Frannie says, the best way to do that is through music.

I adjust the guitar on my knee. “Since I’ve been in therapy with Frannie, she’s helped me open up about my feelings though song. She’s had me write down songs that express the way I feel at different points through my journey here. When I was going through my playlists, I found an old The Tony Rich Project song that really resonated with me. It’s called ‘Nobody Knows,’ and it talks about a guy who feels so much pain inside but keeps it completely to himself, shutting everyone else out. That’s exactly what I’ve done for the last year. I pushed you all away. I let the worry about Black Falcon falling apart eat at me so much that I had to find a way to keep myself from going crazy. I turned to prescription drugs, and when that was no longer enough, I used whatever I could get my hands on to go with it.”

I strum the opening chords of the song and start to sing the lyrics. It’s hard to admit so openly just how lonely I felt, so I close my eyes as I let the emotion pour out of me through the words.

When I’m finished, I take a deep breath and open my eyes to meet all of their gazes. I want them to see me—to know I’m clearheaded and one-hundred-percent dedicated to this band again.

“I convinced myself that the band no longer mattered to you guys. All I saw was you had wives and girlfriends now and your priorities changed. Black Falcon was no longer the number one thing in your life like it was mine. I didn’t understand what you guys were going through but now, I completely get it. Since meeting Frannie, she’s made me understand that you can love two things: music and your woman. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, Tyke,” Noel says. “I’m sorry that we made you feel that way. Next time come talk to us before going off the deep end.”

“Yeah, man, we’ll understand. We won’t know you’re feeling left out or anxious if you don’t tell us how you feel,” Riff adds. “That’s what we’re here for, to help each other in rough times.”

I nod while relief washes through me that we’re finally getting everything out on the table. “I swear there will be no more drama from me. I fucked up. I know that now, and all I can do is say that I’m sorry, and that I will work hard, every day, to stay clean and focused.”

“We know you will, man, and we’re all here to support you—and kick your ass if you start to fuck up again.” Trip holds his fist out for me to bump. “We’re brothers.” He glances at Riff and Noel, who nod in agreement. “All of us. We’ve got each other’s backs. Always. That’s what makes us the greatest fucking rock band on this planet.”

I pound my knuckles into his and wipe away the tears that have fallen down my face. “I love all of you guys.”

I sniff and try to regain my composure as I turn in Frannie’s direction and place my hand on her knee. “I especially love this lady right here. I’ll never be able to thank her enough for showing me how to open up, and letting me see that sharing my feelings is okay.”

She places her small, warm hand on mine, and she smiles. “I love you, too.”

Finally, after struggling for the last few years, I feel at peace, and the nagging thoughts of doom are the furthest thing from my mind because, surely, nothing this good is bound to fall through. Everything in my life seems to be falling into place.

Chapter 19

“Creep” – Radio Head

Frannie Tomorrow is the day the blackmailer will be expecting their two-million-dollar payment. Tyke and I have both come to the conclusion that we aren’t paying the money, so it’s inevitable that we will be outed.

Deciding to go on the road with Tyke is a huge deal. I’ll essentially be leaving everything I’ve worked so hard for behind, but I’ve decided I would like to try my hand at helping the less fortunate with their addictions. I think helping people who have absolutely nothing will be a better way of dedicating my time. I’d even love to find a place where I could simply volunteer my time.

I’m focusing on the letter of resignation I’ve been working on for the past twenty minutes on my laptop when a knock on my office door startles me. “Come in.”

Wayne strolls in, looking impeccable as ever in his pressed suit and matching graying hair. “I don’t mean to disturb you, but Timothy is about to start doing random room inspections while Randall is leading a group activity outside, and I would like you to assist him so it can go faster.”

I close the lid of my laptop and smile. “Sure. I’d be happy to help.”

“Great, thank you. Timothy is already on the second level,” Wayne informs me and exits the office just as quickly as he came in.

When I find Timothy upstairs, he has a clipboard in hand, making notes. His towering frame was intimidating when I first arrived here, but I’ve come to know him as a big teddy bear, one who’s strictly by the book. I don’t know him personally; I just know that he takes his job very seriously.

“Hi,” I greet him as I step next to him. “Wayne asked me to help you toss the rooms. Are we looking for contraband? I’ve never searched someone’s things before.”

Timothy nods and pulls his gaze away from the paperwork in front of him. “We sweep everything. Addicts, especially ones who have been here before, are very good at hiding anything they don’t want to be caught with. The ones sent here through court orders are the ones who are the most likely to hide things. The ones who elect to seek treatment themselves tend to be the clients who really do try to abstain from whatever they’re addicted to. Don’t take those assumptions as gospel, though—go through every nook and cranny. Here,” he hands me a pair of rubber gloves, “You’ll want to wear these.”

“Got it,” I say, understanding exactly what I’m to do. “What room would you like me to do first?”

He checks his clipboard again. “I just came from Tyke’s room—he’s clean. Arnold is next on my list, so you can take him, and I’ll take the next one on the list. If you find anything, come get me and we’ll inventory it together.”

“Will do.” I step over to the room next to Tyke’s and point at the door. “This one is Arnold’s?”

After I get confirmation that it is the right room, I twist the knob and head in. My hands grow clammy in the rubber gloves as I begin poking around in Arnold’s drawers. Everything in here appears to be typical—socks, underwear and a never-ending collection of sweaters, which I still find fucking weird considering the temperature outside.

Next, I move on to the closet, where I find all of Arnold’s khaki pants hung neatly in a row.

“Doesn’t this guy ever get tired of wearing the same shit,” I mumble to myself.

After I have swept every drawer and the closet, the last place I’m supposed to look, according to all the movies about prison I’ve ever seen, is underneath the mattress.

I pull back the cover and sheets on Arnold’s neat bed and pull the pillow from its case, finding nothing. Finally, I lift the mattress, and my eyes land on the notebook I gave him a few weeks ago. I pick it up and turn it over in my hands. This doesn’t look like it contains any paraphernalia, but I’m curious as to what this thing might contain since Arnold refuses to allow me to see it.

It’s an invasion of privacy, but I open it up and flipped through it. There are a lot of weird scribbles—drawings of flowers and prom dresses—and it seems to have several journal entries. That doesn’t surprise me at all. I shouldn’t have expected it to be filled with anything other than the one incident that I know he’s obsessed with.

Just as I’m about to close it, a name catches my eye, and I quickly flick the page back to make sure I really just saw what I thought I did. There, amongst the intelligible scribbles, is a heart with the words Arnie plus Annie scratched across the middle of it.

It could be a coincidence. I mean, how is it possible that one of my clients, other than Tyke, would even know about my sister. Annie is a common name, right?

I go back to the first page and begin scanning the pages with a more careful eye. Sentence after sentence, line after line, the same name appears. Annie . . . Annie . . . Annie.

“When Annie turned me down for Junior Prom at Walter Payton . . .”

“I watched Annie from afar, but she didn’t know. She didn’t suspect. One day, I wanted to make her love me. Annie should’ve been mine.”

I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand. Goose bumps erupt all over my body and a chill runs down my spine as I stare at the thoughts of a clearly unwell man, but what shocks me even more and confirms my worst fear is that he lists the high school that Annie and I attended.

“Oh, my God.” I remember him. Arnold is Arnie, from our high school. I remember when he asked my sister to prom, and I laughed at him while my sweet sister let him down easy. It was cruel of me to do that, but we were seventeen and I couldn’t believe a four-eyed geek like Arnie thought he had a snowball’s chance in hell with Annie.

I race through the book where each page chronicles Arnie following my sister to college and then on to adult life.

“I was supposed to be on that flight with her, but the idiot cab driver made me late by taking a route that lead to a traffic jam. I’ll never forgive myself for not dying with her. We were meant to be together forever, dead in eternal bliss. The feelings I had toward Annie didn’t go away. I had to find a way to continue my obsession. Lucky for me she had an identical twin sister. It felt too good to watch Frannie the way I did Annie. I could pretend she was my Annie. If I couldn’t have Annie, I would have her substitute.”

I swallow hard as things begin to click and fall into place. If Arnie went from following my sister to following me, he could’ve been lurking around that frat party and taken that picture of me that the blackmailer sent. That was shortly after Annie died, so it would fit with the timeline.

“My parents found out about my obsession. They found my scrapbook where I created pictures of mine and Frannie’s wedding. I thought it was beautiful. My mother thought it was disgusting. They wanted to send me away—lock me up where I couldn’t follow Frannie anymore, but I couldn’t have that. My parents cut me off—took my trust away, but that won’t stop me. I’ll find ways to get money. No one will take my Frannie away from me. No one. I’ll kill anyone who tries. So, I ran away. Changed my name and followed her to the rehab center I knew she got a job at. This is the perfect place for me to get close to her.”

My heart thunders in my chest. If this hadn’t been discovered, how far would Arnie have gone? Would he have hurt me? Would he have hurt Tyke?

“You okay in here?” Timothy’s deep voice causes me to jump.

I place my hand over my chest as I turn around to face him. “I . . . I don’t know.”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he says, stepping farther into the room. “Did you find something?”

I nod and hold out the notebook to Timothy with a shaky hand. “You could say that.”

Timothy’s brow creases as he takes the book and tucks the clipboard under his arm. His eyes scan through the last entry that I read and his head snaps back up to meet my stare. “Has he hurt you?”

I shake my head. “No, but . . .”

I hesitate. If I tell Timothy about the things Arnold has been emailing me then I’ll be fired before I have the chance to quit. Timothy is too straitlaced to keep this secret for me.

“But what?” he probes.

I might as well lay it all out. It’s better coming from me than from Arnold. God knows what he’s capable of, or what he’ll do when he discovers that I know exactly who he is and what he’s been up to.

“I believe Arnold has been emailing me—blackmailing me with pictures and videos.” I pull my phone out of my back pocket and pull up the picture of me with Tyke. “He sent me this after catching us in the woods.”

Timothy squints as studies the thumbnail on the screen. “Are you saying you’ve been having an inappropriate relationship with a client?”

I pull the phone back and stuff it into my pocket. “It’s wrong—unethical and completely against the Hippocratic Oath, I know, which is why I was just in the middle of writing my letter of resignation. I knew this was going to come out because someone filmed us, but I was hoping by quitting it would all go away. I tried to stop it from happening.”

He sighs. “You know I have to report this, don’t you?”

“I know,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

Timothy takes a moment to scan my face and his lips turn down into a frown. “I can see that, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry that I have to say something. If it didn’t go against everything I believe, I would keep it to myself.” He lays Arnie’s journal on his clipboard. “I’m going to go explain everything to Dr. Shepherd. He’ll take over from here.”

I nod. “Okay.”

While I’m in my cabin packing, a knock on my door causes my heart to sink. I’m sure this is Wayne coming to fire me.

I open the door and surprise washes over me when I discover Tyke standing before me, looking absolutely edible in his jeans and T-shirt.

“Tyke? What are you doing here?” I question.

He pushes his blond hair back from his face and then shoves his hands deep in his front pockets. “Dr. Shepherd and I just had a talk in his office.”

I bite my bottom lip. “What did he say to you?”

“He knows everything about us, and he mainly questioned how I felt about the situation. He wanted—” A grin crosses his face as he pauses for a brief second. “He wanted to know if you had taken advantage of me in my vulnerable state, because you crossed the line with me since I was your client.”

I run my fingers through my hair. “And?”

Tyke laughs. “I told him you raped me.”

I smack his arm. “That’s not funny. This shit is serious.”

He grips my hips and tugs me closer to him. “I know. That was a poor choice of joke. I told him that I’m in love with you, and that I pursued you until you finally gave in. I explained how you fought against the inevitable really hard, telling me how wrong it was, but I made it impossible for you to not fall in love with me.”

I put my arms around his neck. “You did make it tough on me to hold out.”

“I’m glad you find me irresistible.” He kisses my lips. “I love you, Frannie. No matter what happens. I want you and me and this baby to be a family. I want the real deal with you.”

“I love you, too.” The tears burn as they pool in my eyes. To hear him say he wants that with me stirs something deep within me—a longing for someone else in my life to love wholeheartedly and completely. It never occurred to me, until this beautiful man walked into my life, just how much I want a family of my own. Now, I can’t see myself being without him.

He wipes the tears from my cheeks as they stream down my face. “I hope these are happy tears?”

I nod and sniff. “They are. I can’t see myself without you now. You mean more to me than you’ll ever know.”

“I think I have a pretty good idea how you feel,” he whispers before crushing his lips to mine.

He pulls away. “Come on. Dr. Shepherd sent me to get you. He wants to talk with us together.”

Tyke leads us back to the main house, hand in hand. I guess there’s no point in hiding what’s going on between us now that the secret’s out. The moment we enter the main house through the back door, we come face to face with Sue, who is busy at the island in the kitchen, preparing dinner.

“Frannie.” Sue arches an eyebrow at me.

I know she probably didn’t expect this from me after I was so adamant that this very thing would never happen, but what can I say—I’m in love. So I simply shrug as I pass her by, and she shakes her head and smiles.

We get the same reaction from the rest of the clients. They all seem to be shocked that we’re together, which at least means we hid our affair well.

Josie crosses her arms as we pass by her, her eyes examining me from head to toe while she wears a nasty scowl on her face. Obviously, she thinks the better woman has not won in this situation, but to hell with her—to hell with all of them who are judging me right now. I love this man.

When we make it to Wayne’s office, Tyke and I continue to hold hands as we take the seats facing the desk.

Wayne steeples his fingers and touches them to his lips as he takes in our show of solidarity. “So I see everything that Timothy and Tyke have filled me in on is true, Frannie?”

I sit a little straighter in my seat. “Yes. We are together.”

Wayne nods. “Clearly. And the Arnold situation . . . well, I would like you to know that he has been dealt with. Arnold was transferred to an inpatient psychiatric facility where he will be examined and held there until the physician on staff feels that he is no longer a threat to you or anyone else in society. We also confiscated his phone and deleted all 1,457 pictures and videos he had stored—most of them of you, by the way, so he should no longer be a problem.”

I relax a little in my chair, glad not to have to worry about a video of me having sex with Tyke being leaked all over the internet. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

“While I can’t promise you that he won’t be released at some point in the future, knowing to be on the lookout can at least be of some comfort. But I wouldn’t fret too much if I were you. Arnold has lost touch with reality, and I think he’ll be locked up for quite a while.”

“Again, thank you, Wayne. That makes me feel a lot safer,” I tell him.

“Good, good. Well, the next order of business is the two of you,” Wayne says. “Since Mr. Douglas was a willing participant in the affair, I see no reason to involve the authorities, or anyone else for that matter. Because this occurred here, at my facility, typically I would be forced to let you go, but since Timothy has informed me that you had actually already prepared your letter of resignation, I will accept that and consider the matter at hand closed. This is a little unorthodox, but if you need a letter of recommendation, I would be happy to do that for you.”

My eyes widen. I didn’t expect this to be so easy. “That’s very generous of you. Why would you do that for me?”

“You really did some superb work here with the clients, Frannie. You took the time to get to know each of them as individuals, and giving them journals to help them express themselves was very impressive. I believe what occurred between you and Mr. Douglas was a one-time situation, and I trust that, in the future, you will be more careful when it comes to being intimate with a client.”

I put my hand up. “I promise you, this will never happen again.”

“It better not,” Tyke chimes in, and Wayne laughs.

Wayne stands and extends his hand out to me. “I wish you the best, Frannie. Tyke,” he turns and shakes Tykes hand, “take care, and remember you can always come back if you need to.”

Tyke shakes his head while he wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side. “No need, Doc. I’ve got my own personal counselor now.”

Standing on the porch with Tyke, while we wait for our ride to pick us up, drives home the fact that I’ll never see this place again. The pure beauty of this place will never leave my mind. I’ve never been in a surrounding as peaceful as this. Serenity Hills is definitely a fitting name for this facility.

The screen door slaps closed behind me and Kimmy comes bouncing out in a bright orange skirt with an off-white top. Her blond hair is pulled into a high ponytail that swings as she makes her way toward me. “I wish you didn’t have to go, Frannie. We were just starting to be good friends.”

I poke my bottom lip out. “I know. It makes me sad that I won’t see you anymore. There’s always emailing and video chatting?”

She laughs. “In this place—doubtful. You know the signal is crappy here, but emailing is a definite must. You still have my address from when I wrote it down earlier, right?”

I nod. “I do.”

The moment the purr of a motor creeping up the drive catches our attention, Kimmy embraces me in a tight hug. “Take care, Frannie.”

“You too, Kimmy. Keep at the design school thing. You’ve got a real eye for that stuff,” I tell her.

“Frannie?” Tyke’s voice causes me to turn my gaze in his direction. “I’ll wait for you by the car.”

Tyke kisses my cheek and then grabs my bag off the porch and carries it out to his brother’s car.

“Have fun with the sexy man meat.” Kimmy gives me a wink before heading back into the house, leaving me alone on the porch.

I turn and gaze up at the tall columns of the porch, taking one last look before I turn and head toward Tyke, who is waiting for me with open arms.

Chapter 20

“Slow Ride” – Foghat

Tyke It feels fucking amazing to be back, staring out at a sold-out arena while the four of us play our hearts out for the fans is like being home again. It was a long, hard road to get back to this place, but I feel like all that we’ve been through in the past few years has made us stronger as a unit. We really are a family.

I glance over at Riff who smiles at me as he plays the rhythm of “Ball Busting Bitch” while Noel bends at the waist and belts out the chorus. My bass matches the steady beat of Trip’s crazy-ass drum playing, taking the song to another level.

Black Falcon is back, and we aren’t going anywhere any time soon.

Contentment fills every inch of me, and I glance over at Frannie who’s waiting at the side of the stage with Lanie and Holly. What almost felt like the end of one of the world’s greatest rock bands was just the beginning to one of the most infamous love stories: mine and Frannie’s.

Frannie smiles one of those breathtaking smiles at me, and I can’t help but to fall in love with her all over again. My woman has a heart of gold. Not only does she challenge herself with nonprofit work as an addiction counselor, but she also puts up with my crazy ass. She couldn’t be any more perfect for me if she tried.

We play the last few notes in unison while Noel thanks the crowd. The fans jump, push, and pull one another trying to capture one of the tiny picks I fling to them. Being a rock star is insane.

I follow the guys off stage and immediately find myself in Frannie’s waiting arms. “I missed you.”

She giggles as I press my lips to hers. “I didn’t go anywhere. I’ve been right here watching you play the entire time.”

I continue to assault her with kisses. “You were too far away. Next time, I’m just going to have to bring you out on stage with me.”

She shakes her head. “You’re ridiculous.”

As I’m about to kiss her again, a familiar voice halts me in my tracks.

“Did you find one for us to play with, Tyke? It’s been a while, but I’m game,” Gabby says as she licks her lips while checking out Frannie.

I try to push Frannie behind me, not liking the idea that Gabby would even think that my girl is some random groupie. I open my mouth to tell her to piss off, but Frannie beats me to it.

“Gabby, is it?” Frannie asks in a smooth tone.

Gabby lifts her chin. “Yeah, what of it?”

Frannie steps around me. I reach out to stop her, but her determined blue eyes cause me to freeze. She clearly wants to handle this.

Frannie extends her hand to Gabby. “I’m Frannie.”

Gabby glares at her but finally shakes Frannie’s hand. “So?”

“I just wanted you to meet the woman who owns Tyke Douglas’ heart. This is your one and only warning to stay away.”

“And if I don’t?” Gabby fires back.

A wicked grin slides over Frannie’s face as she steps into Gabby’s personal space, making her seem very intimidating in a crazy way. “I’ll make you wish you had.”

Gabby swallows hard and her eyes flick from Frannie to me before she steps back. “Fuck this. He’s not worth it.”

Frannie stands there with her glare fixated on Gabby as she hurries out of sight.

I come up behind her and pull her back into my chest. “I didn’t know you were such a badass, babe.”

She laughs. “I’ll do anything to protect you, including fighting off crazy ex’s.”

I kiss the top of her head. “The feeling’s mutual. I’d maul a bear for you.”

She turns to face me. “A bear? Really?”

I nod. “Yeah, I’d make that fucker wish he’d never been born if he messes with my babies.” I reach down and place my hand on her stomach. “I love you, Frannie.”

My fingers fly over the strings of my bass as I bust out the last few licks of the song. Things have really come together since we found our way back into the studio as a cohesive unit. The day Frannie and I left Serenity Hills, I took her back to the place I own with my brother Trip. It’s in the hills of Kentucky, not that far from Noel and Riff. Since Noel and Riff have the kids running around their respective places, we did most of our songwriting sessions at our house.

These tracks that we’ve come up with are unlike anything we’ve ever done before, and we blew through the songwriting process. I wrote like a man possessed. Everything just flowed out of me. The melodies, the beats—everything. We have a mixture of dark, dirty beats that I’m sure the fans will go crazy for, as well as some soft ballads, most of which I wrote with one woman on my mind.

“That sounded amazing, Tyke,” Jimmy, the producer says into my headphones as soon as I’m done with the song.

I open my eyes and adjust the headphones on my head. “Thanks, man.”

“Why don’t we lay down a vocal track for “Push and Pull”? You up for it?”

I nod and my eyes flit over to Frannie, who stands behind the glass in the booth, watching me intently as I work. She hasn’t heard this song yet. It’s the one I’ve held back to surprise her with. Staring into her eyes, knowing she’s growing rounder every day with my child, makes me smile. I know it’s the perfect time for her to hear me sing the words I have written just for her. I never get sick of telling her that she’s always on my mind, and how much I love her.

I place my bass back on the stand and say, “Let’s do it.”

I step up to the mic as the melody we previously recorded begins to play. I remain focused on Frannie’s blue eyes as I open my mouth and begin to sing.

“Your skin makes me wanna touch you Be a part of your world So I push you, but I won’t let you fall But you’re a hard girl to get through to All I want is to hold you and tell you it’ll be all right . . .

When I push you . . .

You pull me back

There’s nothing like, a love like that A love like that

Let me ask you

When’s the last time you’ve felt like that Bet it was with me

Bet it was with me

I’m falling for you

It’s easy to see

Without you girl, I just ain’t me There’s no future without you Give it a chance girl, give into the pull When I push you . . .

You pull me back

There’s nothing like, a love like that A love like that

Let me ask you

When’s the last time you’ve felt like that Bet it was with me

Bet it was with me.”

When I’m finished with the first take, I fully expect Jimmy to tell me to get ready to do it again, but instead I hear his voice cut through my thoughts with an entirely different message. “Hot damn, man, I think that was the one. It’s like a new fucking record. We got the entire song on the first take. Everything was perfect—the pitch, the emotion. Wow. I’m impressed. If I’d known you had that in you, we would’ve let you take the lead on a few songs before.”

I laugh. “I don’t know if I’d have been able to do that before. That woman in there beside you has blessed me with a new lease on life.”

I wink at Frannie and smile when she mouths the words, “I love you.”

It’s in that booth, staring at the people I love through the glass—Frannie, Trip, Noel, and Riff—that I finally find peace with myself. Those people in there are my family, and I would do anything in this world for them, and I vow never to return to the dark hell of my addiction ever again. I will be stronger. I will always be a man that Frannie and my child will be proud of. I’m going to make sure that the rest of our forever is fucking perfect.

Epilogue

“Marry You” –Bruno Mars

One Year later

Frannie readjusts the veil on the top of her head as she stares at herself in the mirror. After a few moments, she begins to spot some of her twin’s features in herself. It makes it feel as if in some small way she’s standing by her side on this special day.

As she stares in her own eyes and pretends they’re Annie’s, she smiles. “There you are. You don’t know how much I wish you could be here with me. I miss you—every day, but I’m in a good place now. Tyke makes me so happy, Annie. He loves me so passionately and completely that he doesn’t give me a chance to ever feel lonely or unwanted. You’d really like him.”

A knock on the door startles her as she pulls her attention away from the reflection and says, “Come in.”

The door opens and in walks Tyke with a baby in each arm. Frannie’s heart instantly warms at the sight of her soon-to-be husband holding their twin boys, sleeping in his arms.

Tyke’s crooked smile greets her before his words. “Hey, Mom. Are you ready for our big day?”

She leans over and softly presses her lips to his, scolding him quietly. “It’s bad luck for you to see me, you know.”

Tyke smirks. “I don’t believe in luck—only fate, and baby, you’re mine. Nothing will ever change that.”

One of the boys begin squirming in Tyke’s strong arms and then lets out a wail loud enough to wake his brother who also begins to cry.

Both babies crying at the same time would probably make most first time parents frazzled, but not Tyke and Frannie. Instead, they smile at one another, knowing that the powerful connection their twin boys feel toward one another has already begun. When one’s in pain, the other will know.

Another knock on the door occurs before it opens and Frannie’s soon-to-be sister-in-law, Holly, comes rushing in with Aubrey and Lanie at her side.

Aubrey immediately stretches her arms out to Tyke. “Need a little help in here?”

Frannie smiles as Aubrey and Lanie each take one of her boys into their arms. “I think they’re hungry.”

“No problem,” Aubrey says. “We’ll get them all taken care of so they can sit with us and watch their parents make it official.”

“Don’t forget their Uncle Trip and Aunt Holly,” Lanie adds before turning to Holly with a huge smile. “I can’t believe you’re finally making Trip an honest man.”

Tyke laughs. “My brother has been waiting on this day for the last three years.”

Holly blushes. “I know he has, but waiting was the best thing for us. We’ve grown so much closer, and the track is doing the best it’s ever done. We’re finally ready.”

“I’m glad he has you, Holly. You make him happy,” Tyke tells her.

The wedding coordinator rushes into the room red-faced. “There you all are. It’s time.”

Frannie nods, and then turns her attention back to her babies. “Let me kiss them before they go.”

Aubrey and Lanie bring both the little boys swaddled in blue blankets to Frannie so she can lean down and kiss each one’s pink cheeks. “You boys take care of each other.”

“We’ll see you out there,” Lanie tells Frannie before she and Aubrey leave the room holding the babies.

Frannie turns toward her future husband who takes both of her hands into his large ones, and threads his fingers through hers. “I can’t wait to marry you. You make me so happy.”

Tyke releases one of her hands and cups her cheek, stroking his thumb over her delicate skin. “You’re my definition of happiness, babe. We’re always and forever.”

She melts into him as he leans in and kisses her passionately, knowing that this is just the start of their happily ever after.

Holly Pearson stands behind the double wooden doors that separate the sanctuary of the church from the rest of the building. Through those doors is the beginning of her new life as a married woman, and she couldn’t be more ready to start it.

The blond wedding coordinator stoops down in front of Noel’s son and Riff’s daughter and straightens their clothes before it’s their turn to walk down the aisle. “Okay, James and Hailey, remember to stand nice and tall and take your time walking. Hailey, don’t forget to toss the petals as you go, and James hold the pillow nice and tight.”

Holly smiles warmly down at the children before bending down and kissing them both of the cheek. “You two are adorable.”

“Yuck!” James exclaims as he wipes away Holly’s kiss, causing the soon-to-be bride to chuckle. “Girl germs.”

“Girls don’t have germs,” Hailey scolds him instantly, shaking her blond curls in the process. “Boys do.”

“Nu-huh!” James shouts back, his blue eyes narrowed at Hailey.

“Shhhh! Children,” the wedding coordinator says, trying to diffuse the situation.

The moment the woman moves away from the kids, James sticks his tongue out at Hailey, and she smacks his arm.

“Ow! Brat!” he whispers harshly.

“Poo-poo head!” Hailey fires back.

James scrunches his brow. “I don’t like you.”

Hailey curls her pink lip up. “Well, I don’t like you either.”

“Children!” The wedding coordinator warns them again. “I’m about to open the doors. Let’s be quiet and smile. Ready? One...two...three.”

On three, the heavy wooden doors open and the children march side by side down the aisle. A collective awe fills the room when the crowd spots how absolutely adorable James and Hailey are. James is wearing his all black tux with his Chucks, and Hailey wearing a beautiful tulle dress and pink Chucks both put out a mini rock star vibe.

Through the crowd, Holly’s eyes meet Trip’s bright green ones. The traditional tuxedo he purchased has been dressed up in true Trip fashion with a black dress shirt and vest, the only pop of color is a pink tie that matches the rest of the wedding party. The thick, black hair on the top of his head has been slicked back for the special occasion.

Holly smiles as the wedding march begins to play and her father, Bill, holds his elbow out to her. “Ready, honey?”

“Yes. I’ve never been more ready for something in all my life,” she answers and then hooks her arm through the crook of her father’s.

Their steps match in time as they glide to the altar. Each movement brings her closer to Trip. As Holly floats past the guests in the pews, it warms her to see people she’s really gotten to know over the past few years sitting there. Aubrey and Lanie have become like sisters to her, and the woman walking behind her, Frannie, has been nothing but lovely to her and made her an aunt to two of the cutest babies on the face of the earth. Someday, when they’re ready, she knows that she and Trip will be great parents and will have nothing but support around them when the time comes.

Max, her best friend, stands proudly beside Trip with a huge smile on his face. He winks at her and mouths, ‘love you’ just before the pastor asks, “Who gives this woman to this man?”

Bill squares his shoulders and replies, “I do.”

Her father turns to her and lifts her veil, kissing her cheek before putting the sheer material back over her face and placing her hand in Trip’s.

Trip takes both of her hands in his and rubs his thumbs over her knuckles. His green eyes fix on her face, and his plump lips pull up on one side, revealing the devilish grin that she initially fell for. “You’re beautiful.”

This only makes Holly’s smile grow wider as she can’t believe how unbelievably lucky she is to have found the one man on the planet who loves her unconditionally. This rugged tattooed badass before her has the heart of pure gold, and his love was something she would cherish for the rest of her life.

The pastor then turns his attention to Frannie as her father gives her to Tyke.

A double wedding isn’t anything new, but this one is special. The Douglas men are finally settling down and Holly can’t help loving the fact that one of the world’s most eligible bachelors only has eyes for her.

She stares lovingly into Trip’s eyes as their vows are exchanged. The weight of all of their family and friends witnessing this profession of love overwhelms her, and this typically tough girl breaks down and the tears stream down her face. This is the happiest day of her life, and she can’t wait to share every moment she has left on this earth as Mrs. Trip Douglas.

As Aubrey holds one of Tyke and Frannie’s newborn son in her arms, she glances lovingly over to her husband, Riff, who has their newest edition in his arms. Their second daughter, Libby, was born not long after their oldest daughter, Hailey, was able to walk. The last three years with Riff have been a whirlwind, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Riff smiles as he notices her watching him while their toddler sleeps in his arms during the wedding ceremony. Oh, how she loves that man. She didn’t think it was possible to love him more than she did when she first met him, but she finds that every day their love for one another grows stronger.

Riff leans in to whisper in her ear. “You want another?”

Aubrey bites her lip as she stares down at the little bundle cradled in her arms and then refocuses her gaze back onto her husband, nodding. “The more the merrier.”

He leans in and kisses the soft flesh below her ear before he says, “We’ll work on that tonight.”

She giggles and then covers her mouth, trying her best to keep quiet as their friends get married before them. Suddenly, she can’t wait for tonight, because making babies with Riff is one of her most favorite things to do.

Noel spins Lane around on the dance floor at the reception. Only being three years into their own marriage, they still feel like newlyweds, and are always on the lookout for reasons to touch one another.

Lane giggles as Noel dips her and then brings her back up to place a soft kiss on her lips. “Can you believe that every single member of Black Falcon is married?”

A cocky grin breaks out over Noel’s face. “I can. I read about that every day—all the hearts broken all over the world because the sexiest men on the planet are taken.”

She stares up at her sexy husband and raises an eyebrow. “Where are you reading this?”

He shrugs. “Everywhere. It’s been all over the web.”

Lane rolls her eyes. “You are so full of your self.”

A hearty laugh rumbles though Noel’s chest. “You’ve only known me your whole life, and you’re just now figuring that out? You like me cocky. You know you do.”

She bites her lip as she debates on denying it, but knows he’ll just see right through it like he always does. “You are too much.”

Just when the song ends, a new one begins. The DJ begins playing a song that’s very dear to Lane’s heart. It’s the song Noel sang to her the night she saw him in concert, and they fell even more madly in love than they’ve always been.

“Did you have him play ‘Faithfully’?” Lane asks, thinking that it’s surely not a coincidence.

“Maybe,” he answers and then presses his lips to hers. “It is one of my most favorite songs.”

“Mine, too,” she whispers.

The lyrics to the song wrap around them as they continue to sway to the beat and stare into each other’s eyes. No greater love ever existed between a man and a woman.

Their love is faithful and will last forever.

...And they all lived happily ever after...

Rock My Body Playlist Five Finger Death Punch – Coming Down Arctic Monkeys – Evil Twin Gary Jules – Mad World Three Days Grace – Pain Killer Alice In Chains – Man In The Box Taylor Swift – Red

Arctic Monkeys – Do I Wanna Know Limp Bizkit – Behind Blue Eyes Meg Myers – Desire

Meg Myers – The Morning After Stone Sour-Wicked Game Stone Sour – Through The Glass Papa Roach – No Matter What Panic! At the Disco – I Write Sins Not Tragedies Thomas Rhett – It Goes Like This Pink – Try

Deftones – Change

All That Remains – What If I Was Nothing Blue October – Say It Thousand Foot Krutch – Be Somebody Radiohead – Creep

Foghat – Slow Ride

Bruno Mars – Marry You

A BLACK FALCON CHRISTMAS BONUS SCENE

“NOEL”

––––––––

Big Bertha has never been so fucking beautiful. I have to hand it to the girls, they’ve gone all out decorating for Christmas. For the first time in a long time, the rest of the guys and I will spend the holiday surrounded by a woman’s touch. I know I’ve said it before, but I really didn’t know how much I was missing until Lanie marched back into my life. Sitting here, on this bus, surrounded by all my boys from Black Falcon and Lanie—all is right with the fucking world.

I tighten my arms around Lanie and she sighs, showing me how content she is just being here with me. “I can’t wait to give you my gift,” I whisper in her ear as we watch Riff and Aubrey exchange presents.

She twists her neck and stares up at me with her big, green eyes. “I thought I already received my gift this morning.”

I chuckle and think about the sexual escapade we shared earlier where I gave her at least five orgasms. “That was just an appetizer for what you’ll be getting later tonight. I owe you a few more orgasms, but until then, I have a real gift for you.”

“Noel...” Lanie reaches up and runs her fingers down my scruffy jaw-line. “You are my real gift. You’re my everything.”

“God, I love you.” I tip her chin up and plant a soft kiss on her lips.

I know it probably makes me a pussy for admitting this, but when she says shit like that, my fucking heart melts. I love knowing that I’m her everything because she is my forever. “Come to the back of the bus with me.”

She nods and pushes herself up from my lap just as Trip glances up at us from the floor. “Where are you two going? None of us want to hear you guys fucking back there. It wouldn’t be fair to the rest of us.”

Holly smacks Trip’s chest. “Couth, Trip.”

“Ouch!” He rubs his hand over where she just smacked. “You hurt my tittie, sweetness.”

Holly shakes her head. “Just because they are going in the back doesn’t mean they’re getting it on.”

Trip shrugs. “I’ve been around this bus a little longer than you, babe. Trust me. If you see Noel and Lanie or Riff and Aubrey heading to the back, they’re about to fuck.” He points to Tyke. “Ask him. These walls are paper thin, and we can hear every ball slap and every fucking moan.”

Aubrey throws a cushion from the couch she and Riff share with Tyke and it smacks Trip in the face. “Gross! Holly, please do something with your man.”

Holly shrugs, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders. “I’m trying. Training takes time.”

“Training?” Trip warps his arms around Holly’s waist and nudges her down on to the floor. “You wish. I’ll show you training.”

I smile and shake my head before turning to lead Lanie to the back bedroom. Laughter from the rest of the group follows behind us as we step inside the small room and shut the door.

Moonlight slips through the blinds and dances across Lanie, making it just light enough for me to make out every curve of her body and the sexy grin on her face.

“Care to explain why we need to be in private for you to give me a gift?” Lanie questions while threading her dainty fingers through mine. “We aren’t having sex while we have an audience, so I hope you don’t have that in mind.”

I give her my most wicked grin. “I bet I could make you change your mind if I wanted to. I know how pissed you’d be at me afterword, so I won’t torture you by turning you on. But, I do have something I want to give you—something that’s private between the two of us.” I reach in my pocket and pull out the necklace I had specially made for her. I take her hand and drop the charm with a picture of our dock on it in her palm first, followed by the silver chain. I close her fingers around it. “I feel like this sums up the story of us. Every time I see a dock, or a body of water I always feel a connection with you. Our love is steady like this dock in a body of uncertain water. No matter how much things change around us, I know we are solid.”

She unfolds her fingers and pulls the charm up to eye level for inspection. The moment the picture comes into view, tears glisten in her eyes before one falls free and slides down her cheek. “Noel...” she whispers my name and my heart thumps in my chest as I beat back all the emotions I feel so I don’t come undone. “It’s beautiful and so thoughtful. I’m almost embarrassed to give you my gift now. It will pale in comparison.”

I cup her face in my hands and wipe her tears with my thumbs. “Lanie, I could never ask for a greater gift than your love.”

With Love From Riff

Valentine’s Day Bonus Scene

The moment I step into my house, I hide the dozen red roses behind my back. “Aubrey? You here?” My call goes unanswered as I follow the glow spilling into the foyer from our dinning room, so I try again. “Aubrey?”

Candles set aglow on the heavy slate table, while red and white rose petals complete the romantic mood. “What is this?” I mumble to myself as I lift on of the petals between my fingers.

“It’s your Valentine’s day present.” My attention snaps in Aubrey’s direction and my mouth hangs agape.

Holy fuck. What is this woman trying to do to me? My eyes rake over her red lace nightgown that compliments her red hair perfectly and I bite my lip. Her perky breasts spill over the top of the outfit, while a tiny black thong barely covers that sweet pussy of hers. This woman knows exactly what turns me on.

A slow grin spreads across her face as she toys with the bottom hem of the nightgown that barely covers her thighs. “You like it?”

“I fucking love it. I can’

t wait to tear it off you.” I pull the flowers from behind my back. “These are for you.”

She squeals in delight and I grin even wider. I knew she’d like these. She’s such a fucking girl.

She takes the flowers from me and wraps her arms around my neck. I crush my lips into hers and taste her sweetness. Two years together and I still can’t get enough. I run my hand up the length of her thigh and wrap my fingers around her thong, ready to rip it from her body.

Aubrey swats my hand away. “Not just yet. I’ve got a whole evening planned for us.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Where’s Hailey?”

“Holly and Trip

volunteered to babysit this evening, so there’s no need to rush.”

An evening alone? Damn. We haven’t had one of those forever. It’s been a long time since we could be loud as hell. Our world is so different since we had Hailey, but I wouldn’t change a second of it for anything, even if it means our wild sex rendezvous are limited now.

I hook my finger on the satin string on Aubrey’s shoulder and pull it off her arm. She throws her head back and sighs as my tongue darts out and tastes the flesh of her neck. “There’s really more to the surprise,” she says in a raspy voice.

“I can’t wait to see what can be better than this,” I say as I nibble on her earlobe.

She shoves my chest back and grins while she points to the chair at the head of the table. “Sit.”

I jerk my coat off and toss it into an empty chair and comply with her order. “Yes, ma’am. You know I like it when you’re bossy.”

Aubrey sits on the table in front of me crosses her legs as she reaches lifts a lid to one of the bowels sitting on the table. I can’t resist running my hand along the skin of her creamy thighs. She holds a chocolate-covered strawberry out towards me. “Want a bite?”

I bite her knee and she giggles. “I sure do.”

She tucks a finger under my chin and tilts my head up to look at her. “Not of me silly. There will be plenty of time for that later.”

“How much later?” I kiss the inside of her wrist and I feel my cock jerk in my jeans. “I can’t resist touching you much longer. We can eat all these after I fuck you thoroughly.”

She grins, knowing she can’t resist my charms long once I start talking dirty to her. “Okay, then. I wanted to wait until after dinner to tell you, but I don’t think I can wait.”

I tilt my head and close one eye as I try and figure her sudden happiness out. “What’s on your mind, Kitten?”

She slides down into my lap and I warp my arms around her. She reaches under the plate sitting on the table and pulls out a card. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Daddy.”

I take the card and open in it, reading the words she’s written by hand.

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Let’s get ready for baby number two I read the words three more times before things begin to click. I stare up at her in wonder. “You’re pregnant?”

She nods enthusiastically. “I took a home pregnancy test today.”

I stare into her green eyes and count my lucky stars that we’ve come so far. I squeeze her against my chest and bury my face in her hair. This most amazing woman will never know how fucking perfect she’s made my life.

Character Biographies *Character Name: Noel Falcon *Birth Date: September 25th *Place of Birth: Houston, Texas *Current Residence: Paintsville, Kentucky *Height: 6’2”

*Weight: 175

*Hair Color: Brown

*Hair Length: Short, styled into a fowhawk or a general stylish mess *Eye Color: Blue

*Tattoos: Sleeves on both arms, back, and chest *Relationship with Family: Strained *Educational History: High School graduate *Work History: Front man of Black Falcon *Skills: Singer

*Quirks: Tends to run hands through hair when nervous *Best Qualities: Huge heart *Worst Qualities: Volatile mood swings *Key Teenage Experiences: Dating Lanie Vance *Key Adult Experiences: Achieving musical fame –––––––– Noel Falcon (born September 25th), is an American musician, best known for being the lead singer of the American heavy metal band Black Falcon.

He is a self-taught musician and prides himself on having no classical training. After leaving home after graduation he sought out individuals like himself to form a band. He met Riff in a small bar in Louisville, Kentucky while playing an acoustic solo gig, who introduced him to Trip and Tyke Douglas. Six months later, Black Falcon was born and signed their first record deal three months later.

The band’s first record, Hell in a Handbasket, went double platinum, making Black Falcon a forced to be reckoned with. They’ve put out two additional albums since then, and their latest single Ball Busting Bitch is currently on Billboard’s Top 40.

Noel grew up in Cedar Creek Lake, Texas with his parents Frank and Irene Falcon and is most comfortable around the water. When he’s not making music, he prefers to spend his time in the quiet escape of his peaceful Kentucky home.

*Character Name: Riff

*Birth Date: July, 31st

*Place of Birth: Cincinnati, Ohio *Current Residence: Paintsville, Kentucky *Height: 6’0”

*Weight: 180

*Hair Color: Brown

*Hair Length: Short, styled into a Mohawk or a general stylish mess *Eye Color: Green

*Tattoos: Sleeves on both arms, back, and chest *Educational History: High School graduate *Work History: Lead guitarist of Black Falcon *Quirks: Addicted to Oreos

*Key Adult Experiences: Achieving musical fame –––––––– Zackary Benjamin Oliver (born July 31st), better known by his stage name Riff, is the lead guitarist, songwriter, and founding member for the American heavy metal band Black Falcon. Riff is best known for his wild antics with groupies and ability to make a guitar scream.

Riff began playing instruments at an early age, but his interest in playing guitar in a hard rock music grew at the age of sixteen. He fronted a band called Dingy while in high school with his friends Trip and Tyke Douglas. Following this, Riff met up with Noel Falcon at local club and changed the bands name to Black Falcon after the addition of the bands new front man.

The band’s first record, Hell in a Handbasket, went double platinum selling band, making Black Falcon a forced to be reckoned with. They’ve put out two additional albums since then, and their latest single Ball Busting Bitch is currently on Billboard’s Top 40.

Riff uses a stage name. In an interview, he says that he was given the nickname after several compliments of his guitar skills, and chose to use it in place of his real name because “it sounded bad-ass.”

He currently sides in Kentucky near his other band mates.

TRIP DOUGLAS BIO

*Character Name: Trip Douglas *Birth Date: October 14th

*Place of Birth: Ashland, Kentucky *Current Residence: Paintsville, Kentucky *Height: 6’1”

*Weight: 195

*Hair Color: Black

*Hair Length: Short

*Eye Color: Green

*Tattoos: Sleeves on both arms, back, and chest *Educational History: High School graduate *Work History: Drummer of Black Falcon *Quirks: Wears bandanna on his head, being an identical twin *Key Adult Experiences: Achieving musical fame –––––––– Trip Douglas (born October 14th), is the drummer for the American heavy metal band Black Falcon. Trip is best known for being the crazier of the two Douglas Twins. His triple-thumping foot pedal sound became a trademark for the band.

Trip began playing instruments under the guidance of his musician father along side his twin brother Tyke, but his interest in playing in a band grew once he discovered his love for hard rock music. He joined a band called Dingy while in high school with his brother Tyke and his best friend Zachary ‘Riff’ Oliver. Later the band was renamed to Black Falcon after the addition of the bands new front man, Noel Falcon.

Trip also enjoys extreme spots, such as dirt bike riding, rock climbing, and sky diving, making him the most adventuress member of the band. His dream is to one day climb Mount Everest.

TYKE DOUGLAS BIO: *Character Name: Tyke Douglas *Birth Date: October 14th

*Place of Birth: Ashland, Kentucky *Current Residence: Paintsville, Kentucky *Height: 6’1”

*Weight: 190

*Hair Color: Blonde

*Hair Length: Shaggy

*Eye Color: Green

*Tattoos: Sleeves on both arms, back, and chest *Educational History: High School graduate *Work History: Bassist of Black Falcon *Quirks: Frequently wears sunglasses, and loves organization *Key Adult Experiences: Achieving musical fame Tyke Douglas (born October 14th), is the bassist for the American heavy metal band Black Falcon. Tyke is best known for being a key song writer for the band. His obsession with detail always seems to push the songs to a level of perfection rarely achieved by bands.

Tyke also enjoys the arts, attending gallery openings and poetry events whenever his schedule allows, making him the most cultured member of the band. His dream is to one day branch out and share his other artistic abilities with the world is something he hopes to accomplish in the very near future.

Combined Bios: Trip and Tyke began playing instruments under the guidance of his musician father along side each other, but their interest in playing in a band grew once they discovered a mutual love for hard rock music. They joined a band called Dingy while in high school with their best friend Zachary ‘Riff’ Oliver. Later the band was renamed Black Falcon after the addition of the bands new front man, Noel Falcon.

The band’s first record, Hell in a Handbasket, went double platinum, making Black Falcon a forced to be reckoned with. They’ve put out two additional albums since then, and their latest single Ball Busting Bitch is currently on Billboard’s Top 40.

They currently reside in Kentucky near their other band mates.

More Books from Michelle A. Valentine

Releases March 17th 2015

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New York Times and USA Today Best Selling author Michelle A. Valentine is a Central Ohio nurse turned author of erotic and New Adult romance of novels. Her love of hard-rock music, tattoos and sexy musicians inspires her naughty novels.

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@M_A_Valentine Blog: http://michelleavalentine.blogspot.com/

Website: http://www.michelleavalentine.com