THE DUSTY RIDER SERIES

BOOK ONE

TAKEN OUTBACK

By

Stella Knights

Copyright 2017 Stella Knights

Published April 2017, August 2021

All rights reserved.

This eBook is licenced for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, then please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. All similarities or resemblance to actual persons, either living or deceased, or actual events is purely coincidental.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

DEDICATION

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

EPILOGUE

TEASER FOR LOST AND LOVE: THAILAND BY STELLA KNIGHTS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

CONNECT WITH STELLA KNIGHTS

DEDICATION

To the Australian that touched me in ways he will never know.

CHAPTER ONE

A RICH COFFEE AROMA overpowers me as I push the door open and step into the café. I order a hazelnut latte, the exact thing I ordered every morning when I lived in this artsy city called Melbourne. The velvety, sweet taste is like an old friend that brings me comfort as I sit at an empty table.

I patiently wait for the young lady named Kylie. She emailed me her photo so I would recognise her when she arrives. In it she has a short coiffed hairstyle that fits in well with her job at a stylish women’s magazine.

Across the crowded café, I notice one young woman sitting alone, staring out the window towards the bleak rainy sky as she sips her cappuccino. Something about her soulful eyes reminds me of who I was before Tom broke my heart.

A voice interrupts my thoughts. “Hi, it’s Holly, right?” I look up and see the sharply dressed, raven-haired Kylie.

I stand and shake her hand. “Yes, it’s Holly. Nice to meet you.”

She hangs her coat on the back of the chair across from mine before sitting. “Thank you so much for meeting with me. Your friend, Jen, has told me so much about you.”

I flinch at the thought of being talked about. I enjoy my anonymity, keeping the world away from my deepest thoughts.

“She is a good friend, but I’m not sure what she’s told you.”

“Well, like I said on the phone, we’re doing a series of articles on unique love stories. We’ve been looking for things that maybe give others hope that they too can overcome adverse situations.”

How I wish it were that simple.

Wrapping my fingers around my mug, I frown. “I’m not sure if my story is suitable or not?”

“From what Jen said, which was only the basic gist of things, it sounds like your story is exactly what we want.”

“I have to admit, I wasn’t sure I wanted to do this. I like the thought of giving hope to others, but what I’m going to tell you could have ramifications if told the wrong way, so I can only do this if it’s anonymous.”

“Don’t worry. I agree not to reveal certain information and I have brought a non-disclosure agreement to help put your mind at ease.” Kylie hands me the document full of obtuse words for my so-called protection. She points her manicured finger on the numerous lines I must initial, date and sign.

Seeing her nails makes me think of the days where I would run through this demanding city, trying to fit in a manicure or pedicure amongst appointments, parties, or just trying to make my ex-husband happy. So much action, going place to place, but ironically, I wonder if I actually got anywhere when I lived here.

Amused, after initialling and signing multiple pages as though my life depended on it, I mention, “We’re so legal in this world, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, it’s amazing how much my magazine pays for its legal team.” She picks up the document and puts it back into a folder. “Well, now that’s done, where should we begin?” After pausing, she suggests, “How about we start with your first love?”

I take a sip of the caffeine therapy resting in my cup, letting it warm my insides as I think back to a time that feels like a lifetime ago. “Tom was my first love. We met in America while he was working in the ski fields of Colorado. I fell for him the moment I set eyes on him. I mean, who wouldn’t fall for a lean, long-haired surfer guy with the sexiest accent I had ever heard? We had a holiday romance and threw ourselves at each other because we didn’t know if we would ever see each other again.”

“What did you like most about Tom?”

“Tom seemed exciting, carefree and willing to make his own rules. I thought he was different from the boys I grew up with. You see, I grew up in Texas where people live by an old-fashioned code of gentility, manners and expectations set by generations before.” I pause, thinking about how describing this might come across as snobbish.

Noticing my hesitation, Kylie asks, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just don’t want to sound pretentious when talking about the life I left behind. I’ve changed so much since that time.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll try to write the beginning of your story in the best light possible. So, you were saying you lived by a code and expectations?”

I look down at the cup resting in my hands. “My life was stifling, full of debutante pageantry and country club parties. No time to do what I wanted to do, but all the time to do what society wanted. So, for me to experience a man that was willing to do his own thing was out of the ordinary, almost dangerous. I was also at an age where I enjoyed upsetting my parents by doing the opposite of what they wanted. So, as you can imagine, my parents were happy when it was time for our holiday to end and I went home heartbroken. But much to their chagrin, Tom and I stayed in touch. Over the coming months when we exchanged emails, and it turned out he was actually more normal than I thought.”

“What do you mean by normal?”

“Well, I think we all have a different definition of what is normal and my scale of normal has changed all throughout my life. But at that point in time, normal was that Tom came from a suitable family and had lofty goals for himself. Looking back now, he wasn’t much different from other boys I had dated, but the mystery of him being a foreigner made him more exciting. This blonde snowboarder was just comfortably outside of what I would consider a safe choice to date.”

“You said he was from a suitable family and had goals?”

“Tom was middle class but aware he was going to have to make it on his own, as there wasn’t a pile of cash that he was going to inherit. This may be one reason my family did not approve of him. My father would have looked down on Tom as not having enough to take care of me in the manner I was accustomed to.” I stop to take a sip of my coffee as Kylie furiously scribbles down notes.

She looks up as I continue to speak. “Not everyone is seduced by material things. I didn’t know it then, but I eventually learned that I could be happy with far less than I ever imagined. Love is sometimes really all you need.”

“So, when did you and Tom see each other again?”

“It took me some time, but I finally convinced my parents to let me do a foreign exchange program where I could attend Monash University for a year. I honestly knew nothing about Australia before coming over here.”

Kylie smiles as she sips her cappuccino, “A bit of culture shock, you reckon?”

“Totally. I came over with a bunch of luggage and no clue. Tom met me at the airport and helped me get settled into the apartment I had rented. He took me out and introduced me to his friends, and I settled right in. I thrived on the sense of independence that came with being somewhere new, far away from my parents.”

Kylie looks up from her notes with a smile. “I can only imagine. I bet your life before and after was like chalk and cheese.”

“Australia was so different from the world I left. Where I went to university in the States, there were certain standards that felt normal to me. But once I arrived in Australia, I learned that these standards were conservative and overwrought with expectations. I was shocked on my first day of classes when students arrived in their pyjamas, Ugg boots and messy hair. You would never do that at the university I went to in Texas.”

Kylie laughs and shakes her head. “Did you ever feel homesick?”

“Not at all. I instantly fell in love with this place.”

“After you moved here, was Tom the same exciting person you thought he was when you met?”

“He was more fun than I remembered. So much fun, in fact, that I transferred out here to finish my degree. Those years were carefree and easy, just as they should be when you’re that age. Tom and I became more than just boyfriend-girlfriend, we were best friends. We laughed our way through life, enjoying every moment and each other. It wasn’t until the few years after we graduated that Tom was seduced by the thrill and power of the corporate world.”

Kylie looks up from her notepad. “So, he changed a lot when he started working?”

“He did, but I was oblivious to his evolving obsession with success and money. I was so in love, his charm blinded me. While he was being seduced by the corporate world, I was being seduced by this illusion he was selling me of the life he wanted for us.”

“What life was that?”

“One full of comfort. You know, a big house, fancy cars and a never-ending calendar of social events. Basically, the life I grew up in, but with an Australian twist. He was always telling me what he planned to buy us or trips he wanted to take me on. It was always something that would happen on some mythical future date.”

Kylie stops writing on her notepad and studies my expression. “He was giving you hope about a date that would never come.”

“Exactly.” I sip from my mug, letting the coffee mull in my mouth while I consider the life I once had. “Illusions can be dangerous. It’s easy to fall deep into them and before you know it, you’re swept so far from reality that you don’t know how to save yourself.”

Pushing a loose strand of hair back in place, Kylie asks, “What saved you?”

“It’s not a question of what saved me, it’s a question of who.”

CHAPTER TWO

GRABBING MY NEW DOLCE and Gabbana dress from the closet, I take it off its hanger and glance at the clock. The cab should be here any moment.

Tom walks out of the bathroom dressed in a crisp, pale grey dress shirt, still toying with his hair to make sure it looks done, but not as if he has put in any effort.

Walking towards our full-length mirror, I glance at the view outside our window. Surrounding our building are countless harsh skyscrapers, with their bright lights competing for attention.

I sigh as I notice the weather, realising I will need a heavier coat for this evening. I guess my Hermes coat will have to do, though it doesn’t quite work with this dress.

It’s another blustery evening with biting drizzle that sends a chill straight to the bone. The weather is a constant hazard of living in Melbourne, however the promise of fabulous food and nightlife gets people out even in the most miserable conditions. Tonight is no different, as we get ready to go to the hottest new restaurant and celebrate Tom’s latest promotion.

I reach behind my head to pin my hair up high, accentuating the high neck of the flowing black Dolce and Gabbana dress I bought for tonight. Not to mention, Tom prefers when I have my hair up when we go out on the town. “Tom, can you zip up my dress?” I slip on some sizable gold hoop earrings while I wait for his help.

Tom comes up behind me and zips up my dress, stopping for a moment to caress my arms. “You look smashing, hon. I think I should actually unzip this so I can enjoy you myself before we go out.” He nibbles at the back of my neck, making a growling sound as if he were dog hoping to get a bite to eat.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” I move away from his bite and turn around to face him. “Who’s going to be at this dinner?”

“Just my new team. I only know a couple of them. It will be a great chance for me to bend the ears of the ones I don’t know with my ideas.”

“It’s Friday night, can’t you give work a rest?” My shoulders drop at the thought of another boring business discussion.

He pouts and tries to appeal to my senses. “Don’t give me that look. Work doesn’t stop just because it’s the weekend. We’ve started a massive project, so there’s no resting until that’s done. I want to get to the top babe, so I can give you all that you deserve.”

I go to our walk-in closet and find a clutch that matches my dress.

He continues to plead his case. “Surely, you don’t want to give up endless shopping days or your hair and massage appointments. One of us has to pay for them, right?” He looks at me, still pouting, but I’m offended that he’s negating the fact that I also work.

I sigh and glance at him. “Tom, I have a job, too.”

He rolls his eyes. “Your job hardly pays for things, babe.”

“I realise it’s not the high-flying corporate world, but I enjoy working for them and I believe in what we’re trying to do for those less fortunate.”

“But honey, it doesn’t pay the bills. Enjoyment of a job does not mean success.” He stretches his arms and gestures at the surrounding room. “Look around you, look at our place and everything in it. I’m doing all of this for you. I’m giving you everything you could dream of, and this position is the start of a new direction that could take us higher and higher.” He takes my hand and kisses the back of it. “So, please behave tonight and think of the future.” He gazes at me and kisses me against the head to soften his last statement.

Reaching up, I smooth the hair he has just absent-mindedly messed up. I sigh listlessly as I scan around this quirky ex-industrial space I have turned into our home.

He’s right. He bought us this comfortable, two-bedroom unit that was part of an iconic redevelopment near the inner city. I knew the moment I saw it I had to have it and Tom got it as an engagement present. I spent the following months decorating it in urban chic style, painting walls in calming neutrals and offsetting them with brilliant pieces of art that I found while trawling every market I could get to on the weekends.

Tom is correct. I love what we’ve created for our home, but at what point will he think it is okay to take a moment to relax and enjoy it?

“The cab’s here, babe.” Tom hands me my coat, takes my arm under his and leads me to the elevator.

Once we are out the front doors of the building, we hit the cold, harsh wind biting at our heels like hungry wolves waiting to feed.

I shiver as we rush towards the cab.

We arrive at the restaurant, bursting at the seams with socialites trying to enjoy the place before it is killed off by a bad review the following week. We’re not late, but we are still the last to arrive, which is fine by Tom, as he likes to command the attention of the entire group at the same time. He always says you must walk in as if you own everyone and everything. Stand tall, make them all take notice.

“Hello, Tom, darling,” says a tall female with bobbed copper hair. She strokes her long red fingernails across Tom’s back, reminding me of a snake using its forked tongue to taste its prey. She has moved over to air kiss Tom and as she does this, she positions herself as if she doesn’t see me standing next to him.

Alarm bells are ringing inside my head.

Why is this woman behaving as though she knows Tom a lot better than she ought to?

With a cocked smile that could kill, I push my arm in between them to offer my hand for an introductory shake. “Hello, I am Holly, Tom’s wife. And you are?”

As she looks me up and down, I notice her expression momentarily tense, giving me the chance to push myself up even closer to Tom in a sign of clear ownership.

“I’m Beth. Tom works for me all week long.” A satisfied smirk spreads across her face.

Tom’s jaw clenches as he pulls us away from Beth. “Hon, I want you to meet Ross, one of the partners.”

I smile as I pass by Beth and in my sweetest Texan accent say, “It was so lovely to meet you.”

Who is this vixen and what is her game coming on to Tom like that?

After several more introductions, we sit down and enjoy an Asian fusion meal. The conversation focuses on work and their plans for the company’s future. I’m not sure if it is the numerous lychee mojitos or the mundane work discussions, but I’m almost falling asleep in what’s left of my Thai-inspired beef noodles, when one of the partner’s wives, Olivia, asks if I would like to join a few of them at the bar. I take the chance at escaping, so I don’t lose myself to the abyss of monotonous business conversation.

“I’m so glad to have a break from all of that shop talk in there,” Christine, one of the wives, says.

“Oh, here comes Beth,” says Olivia.

I cringe at the thought of talking to Beth. Despite my instincts about Beth, I will have to be nice to her. I know to tread carefully because of Tom’s position in his company and whatever he’s trying to achieve next.

“So, tell me, Holly, what is it that you do?” Christine asks.

“I work for a non-profit agency that specialises in delivering health solutions to disadvantaged groups within Australia and overseas.”

“Oh, that sounds quaint,” Beth says with a malignant tone. “So, you are one of those bleeding hearts trying to change the world.”

“No, I don’t consider myself a bleeding heart. I just prefer a job where I can leave a positive mark on the world.”

“But why bother? It isn’t like anyone can make much of a difference anymore with the way the world is going.” Beth blows her plume of smoke towards my face and sneers as she sips on her martini.

“Well, I like to think we can still make a difference, no matter how small it may be.” I try to not sound trite, though I know resentment exudes from me as I cross my arms and look off towards the bar full of fake smiles and alcohol-fuelled conversation. I notice a couple snuggled up, smiling at each other as though no one else in the world exists. When was the last time Tom looked at me that way?

“What does your company think of you relocating to Brisbane?” Beth asks while glaring at me.

It is as though the air has been sucked out of my lungs as a crushing sensation pushes against my entire chest. Did she say relocating to Brisbane?

The shock must have been noticeable on my face as Beth speaks with a satisfied grin. “Oh, didn’t Tom tell you?”

Why didn’t Tom say anything to me? I don’t want to leave Melbourne.

Olivia chimes in politely, as if to defuse the shocking news. “Oh Beth, nothing’s definite yet. No one should even be discussing this. You know you will get yourself in trouble one of these days by speaking out of turn.”

Christine turns to me and tries to change the subject. “Your work sounds like a worthy endeavour. I think it is great to try to make a difference. You know, I help run the company’s division that hosts charity events. Tom told me you grew up in Texas and are used to lavish parties, so I’ve been wanting to ask you if you would ever be interested in helping organise one of our benefits?”

“I’d love to help,” My voice cracks as I’m still in shock at the thought of moving to Brisbane.

A waiter dressed in a patterned mandarin collar shirt paired with a sarong comes close and clears his throat. “Excuse me, ladies. Dessert is about to be served, so your presence is requested back at your table.”

I am seething, but true to the manners I was raised with, I stay composed through dessert, not displaying a sign that anything is wrong until we get into the taxi to head home. Though after all the mojitos I drank, it’s a challenge to not explode right there in the restaurant.

Once we are in the taxi, my disbelief and frustration boil over. “What is this about relocating to Brisbane?”

Tom’s face flushes red from being caught off guard. “Don’t get mad. It’s not definite. I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure. So, there’s no point in getting worked up until there’s something to get worked up about.”

Anger exudes from both my words and my eyes. “Well, I don’t appreciate being told by that two-bit floozy Beth.”

Tom snaps back, “Beth is not a floozy.”

“Yes, she is. Her claws were all over you.”

“Holly, cut the shit out. She’s not like that.”

Are you fucking kidding me, Tom? Picking her over me?

I would have expected Tom to be comforting me, but instead he’s choosing to stick up for Beth. This makes me even more irritated.

“Are you blind? She was totally inappropriate, touching you like that. How would you feel if someone I worked with had their hands all over me?”

“Stop overreacting, Holly. She has a boyfriend.”

“I call bullshit on that. Is she the reason you are always coming home late?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Tom tries to put his arm around me, but I block it. He loosens his tie and says, “You need to calm down. The cabbie can hear everything you are saying.”

“I don’t give a shit what the cabbie hears. I’m not stupid. I know what women are like. I can tell when a woman wants to get into my husband’s pants.”

A deep crease forms across Tom’s brow. “You’re being so ridiculous.”

“I will not stand by while some woman tries to seduce you. Don’t be so daft.”

“I’m not discussing this. Especially not when you have had so much to drink. You could have embarrassed me tonight drinking like that.”

“Well, if you paid some attention to me and maybe if the conversation was a little less boring, I would not have to entertain myself with so many drinks.”

As we pull up outside our apartment block, Tom turns to open the cab door. “And what is up with you smoking? You know I hate that, Holly.”

He gets out of the cab and reaches out to offer me his hand, but I refuse to take it. “Oh, fuck off, Tom. I’m not under your control.”

I walk closer towards our building, masked amongst the skyscrapers that dwarf it. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the glass of our front door and question if this shiny life is what I want anymore.

The doorman interrupts my thoughts. “Good evening, Miss.”

I nod and walk inside, being careful not to stumble on my four-inch heels.

Tom opens the door to our apartment, and I stagger past him.

How could he possibly withhold such life-changing information from me? And what’s worse is that he let me find out from that cold hearted beast of a woman.

In my drunken, pissed off state, I decide to have some lecherous fun to teach him a lesson. Sex is sometimes my weapon of choice when I’m mad at Tom. Sometimes it’s the only way I can get his attention off the corporate world.

I slip off my coat and let it fall to the floor. Slowly unzipping my dress, I let it crumple and drop only a few feet away from my coat. It is as though I’m leaving a naughty trail for Tom’s eyes to follow.

Seducing and teasing, yet not giving in to him, will bring me much more pleasure after tonight’s unexpected revelation. I want to get him on his knees, then not giving him what he wants.

Why must I have to play games to get noticed by this man?

I walk into the kitchen, barely dressed in my heels, my black lace La Perla bra, panties, stockings, and garter belt. I pull the pins out of my hair and let it splay out, falling against my shoulders. I slink in front of him with catlike moves as he removes his stifling tie.

He looks up and stares in my direction, but I do not make eye contact with him. Instead, I sit down on a stool and raise my leg to roll down my stockings. First, I let my heel dangle from my big toe before it drops to the floor. As I remove the stocking, I stretch my leg out, flexing my calf muscle, toned to perfection after hours of running on the treadmill.

Once I’ve removed the stocking, I run my hand up towards the top of my thigh. Using my fingertips, I trace across the top of my lace panties, hesitating just long enough to tease Tom before removing the other stocking.

He’s staring at me, looking torn between annoyance and sexual frustration. I know Tom won’t be able to resist watching my artful strip tease if I keep going. And I want him to pay for putting me in such an awkward position tonight.

He walks towards me and puts his hand on my shoulder.

I brush it away before speaking in an icy tone. “I’m going to take a shower.” I saunter past him towards our bathroom and add, “Alone.”

As I turn on the shower and reach around to undo my bra, Tom grabs my wrist. “Not yet, you don’t.” He turns me around. I find him with his shirt hanging open and his pants hanging down low enough to see the ripples of his lower abs as they meet the tightness of his Calvin Klein underwear.

“Tom, you are not having me tonight,” I say with as much seriousness as my drunken self will allow.

“Oh, okay,” Tom says, dripping with sarcasm as he takes hold of me from behind.

I push his hands off me. “No, Tom. I’m too pissed at you to make love.”

“Come on, honey. You can’t be mad at me for something that may not even happen. Besides, I know you know you want it because I have kept it from you all week.”

Tom is so irritating, but what is far worse is that he knows how to make me weak at the knees. He knows how to make me want him, even when I’m angry at him. And more importantly, he knows I’ve been asleep when he has come home late every night this week, leaving me unsatisfied for days.

My mind is telling me to not give a reward for bad behaviour, whereas my body is saying give in to the carnal pleasures he has on offer. I blame the mojitos because I listen to the lust inside me telling me to give in.

So much for my revenge against him tonight.

Tom has an unusual grin on his face. “Do you want to try something different?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why don’t you let me tie you up, maybe blindfold you and tease you? Think of it as me being your slave for not telling you such important news.”

I’m surprised by his suggestion as Tom tends to be strait-laced and limited in his sexual tastes.

Where is this coming from?

How he wants to spice things up has me intrigued. Excited by the possibilities, I forget my anger and grab his hand and to head into the bedroom.

I crawl onto our black duvet and lie against the pile of pillows that decorate our king-size bed.

Tom goes into the other room and returns a few minutes later with a couple of lit, long-stemmed candles. He places them on the dark wood shelves near our bed and says, “I thought the candles might make the mood sexier in here.” He moves to join me on the bed and commands, “Take off your clothes.”

Where is this forceful tone coming from?

I pout while he slides off his shirt. “You don’t want to take them off for me?”

“No, I want you to do what I say so I can tie you up.”

I do as he commands, standing up to slip out of my La Perla lingerie.

Gazing at my naked body, he says, “You are smoking hot. How lucky am I to have you all to myself?”

He pulls the duvet off the bed and throws the pillows onto the floor. Standing up, he strides over to grab several neckties out of the closet, then joins me on the bed.

He gets between my legs and eases them out towards each side of the bed. Using the ties, he secures my ankles to the frame. As he knots them, he gives them one last firm tug, causing me to yelp out, “Ouch! That hurt.”

“That’s what I want tonight,” he says in a tense, hungry voice I don’t recognise. He then ties my hands by the wrists onto the rectangular slats in our headboard. Again, he gives them one final pull to ensure I cannot get loose.

I grimace as I tug and realise I can’t get out of this position. I’ve never been tied up before, so I’m not sure how this is going to feel.

Tom straddles me and places a tie as a makeshift blindfold across my eyes. The navy satin rests coolly against my eyelids. The combination of the mojitos and the anticipation of what Tom is about to do to my body makes my head dizzy.

Maybe this is something we should have tried years ago.

I’m not sure what has brought out this newfound zest for exploring our sexual boundaries, but so far, I will happily buy a ticket to try this ride.

Maybe he read a new book about how to please your woman or something while he was on the train to work this week.

“Let me put on some music.” He turns on an intense music that is not his normal choice, but I don’t question it.

Tom straddles me and begins his assault on my body. He goes straight to touching my breasts. Massaging and tweaking my nipples, making them hard between his fingers. He bends over and places his lips on my heated flesh. His tongue licks and tastes me as he moves across my stomach.

I arch my back and moan in anticipation of his mouth moving lower. But he stops as he gets close to my sex, leaving me hanging on the edge.

He moves off me and gets out of bed leaving me to wonder what he’s going to do next. My pulse quickens as I feel him kneel between my legs, his hard member brushing up against my thigh.

I gulp and flinch violently as a searing hot sensation scolds my tender flesh. “What the fuck are you doing?” I realise Tom is dripping hot wax directly onto my nipples without warning.

Calmly, he purrs, “Just relax and try it.”

Not wanting to be a prude, especially since Tom is finally into trying some new things, I hold my breath, hoping that maybe I will enjoy the scorching heat.

Isn’t the pleasure after pain why people get into sadomasochism? Maybe I just have to wait, and the pleasure will come soon.

But I don’t feel pleasure at all. In fact, I wince in pain when each drop hits my flesh.

Maybe I will get an adrenaline rush the more he does this.

He crosses my stomach, dripping the wax in a trail as he moves lower. My pulse quickens again, but not in a good way. I’m afraid he will drip the hot wax between my legs. As he drips one more drop against the lowest part of my stomach, he bites against the inside of one of my thighs.

“Oh, Tom,” I moan in both agony and ecstasy.

I hear the clank of the candelabra as Tom puts it onto what I think is the bedside table. Within moments, he places his two hands firmly on my thighs and spreads me apart. I gasp when he finally uses his tongue where I’ve been aching to be touched. Or maybe I’m gasping from the relief of not having any hot wax to deal with.

Knowing the candles are out of his reach, I relax as he continues to massage my sex with his tongue. I moan as he increases his intensity against my slit. I want to grab at his hands and push him closer against me, but I can’t because I’m still tied up. “Tom, please use your...”

He has placed his hand against my mouth to stop me from talking.

Why can’t he use his hands on me as well? I love his tongue, but it’s just that much better when he also uses his fingers.

I moan, hoping to encourage him to go further and take me over the edge.

Instead of getting what I want, he moves his body upwards between my legs, pressing his hard maleness against my entrance. He does not push inside, but lets it linger just outside of my folds. I feel his hot breath against my breasts as he sucks on them again.

Arching my back, I try to coax him inside me, but he makes me wait. Unexpectedly, I feel pain as he pushes inside me in one firm motion. Trying to pull away, I realise Tom is bitting my nipple. I yelp through his fingers that are still covering my lips, but I don’t think he hears me.

His hand moves from my mouth as he grunts and holds onto my hips. Riding me hard, he’s got me pinned in a position that doesn’t bring me any enjoyment. He’s going too hard, too fast.

I plead, “Tom, what are you doing? Can you slow down?”

But Tom doesn’t respond. Instead, he thrusts feverishly, as though he’s possessed, and won’t stop until he has achieved his goal. I try to go with his motions, but I’m not feeling aroused at all.

So much for a good romp tonight. And to think I was going to withhold it from him yet gave in for this.

His gasps warn that he’s getting close. I feel his body shudder as he drops against me. He exhales hotly against my neck as his moans grow in intensity. His muscles tense and he bites hard on my neck as he loses himself in his release.

“Ouch! Tom, what are you doing?” I yell out from his bite, but I’m tied up so I can’t push him off me. “Untie me now!”

He’s breathing heavily as he lies against me for a few minutes. Finally, he gets up to untie me and remove the blindfold.

“Tom, what the hell was that?” I rub my tender wrists and look over my body at where hot wax remains.

He grabs a pillow off the floor and throws it against the headboard of the bed. He collapses against it, still breathless from his actions a few minutes before. “Sorry, Holly, I lost myself for a second. If you wait a few minutes, we can go again for you.” His words do not bring me any solace, nor do they make me want to have sex with him again.

I feel like my Jimmy Choo pumps thrown away after one dance on the dance floor. Totally used and unsatisfied. I prop myself up on my elbows and sigh out of annoyance. “Tom, where did you get the idea that I would enjoy it rough and painful like that?”

I don’t get a reply. Glancing to the side, I find Tom is already asleep.

The wind has been let out of my sails for the evening and I’m wide awake from pent up frustration. Getting out of bed, I grab my coat off the living room floor and retreat onto the balcony to have a cigarette. Standing in the freezing drizzle, naked under my coat, I shiver at the thought of what was colder, the Melbourne night air or Tom’s lovemaking?

CHAPTER THREE

I PAUSE FROM TALKING to watch an older couple walk arm-in-arm towards the counter and place their order. It is hard to imagine love lasting all the way through the roller coaster ride life takes you on.

Kylie clears her throat, bringing my attention back to the interview. “So, was it that night you realised something wasn’t right with Tom?”

“I should have, but like many women, I chose to ignore all the signs.” I take the last sip of my cooling latte.

How could I be that naïve to the changes going on around me?

“Did you say anything to Tom about Beth or about the possible move?”

“The next morning, he was off early to the gym. When he came home around lunchtime, he surprised me with a pair of Louboutin boots he knew I had my eye on. I assumed it was his way of apologising. At that point, I didn’t have any real reason to not trust Tom. I could easily pass off my concerns as being from my overreactive imagination.” I run the tip of my finger along the rim of my cup. “After that, things went back to normal for a few weeks. Until the night he came home and told me that the company voted to move half of his team to Brisbane.”

“How did you take this news?”

“Obviously, I wasn’t thrilled. I didn’t want to leave the city and friends I loved, not to mention my job. But I fooled myself into thinking that since I was married, I should do what women all over the world have done for generations. Be a good wife and support my husband even if it meant leaving everything behind.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit old-fashioned?” Kylie scrunches her nose in obvious aversion to such archaic thoughts.

“You have to remember the values that were pressed upon me when I grew up. It would have been easier to argue back if my mother was a career woman, but she wasn’t. Not to mention, I loved Tom, and I wanted to see him happy. And his happiness was all about having a successful career.”

“Then how did you cope with the move?”

“It was hard, but I tried to make it work. I thought once I got a job it would be okay. But weeks went by, and I had found nothing. I got bored and lonely. Tom was working insane hours, so he didn’t notice that mentally I was falling apart. The whole situation was a ticking time bomb ready to explode around us.”

Kylie flicks her fringe out of her eyes. “And did it?”

“Like anything building up to a climax, it started off simmering like a pot on the stove. I’m not sure if Tom was just overworked, or if it was the fact that he was hellbent on achieving big things quickly, but he started coming home always irritated about something.” My heart beats faster as the memories flood into my mind. “I was feeling more and more isolated because of his moods. He would shut down and not speak to me for days.”

“Did you ever try to talk about this with him?”

“I never felt I could because he was always busy, on the phone or coming home exhausted. Days would go by without us even having a proper conversation or meal together. I was like one of our beautiful paintings no longer hanging on our walls. I was just sitting in the back of a storage unit waiting for the day I will be taken out to be enjoyed again.”

“How did this affect you?”

“I was getting desperate to find any job I could.” I shake my head, remembering the frustration I felt. “I even went to volunteer at the local community centre, hoping maybe it could lead to paid work. As luck would have it, someone there got me an interview for a job as a parole officer. Not my ideal career, but I gladly accepted when they offered me the position.”

“And was Tom supportive of this?”

TOM WALKS THROUGH THE door after I’ve been waiting for hours. As soon as I see him, I tell him my news. “I got a job, hon,”

“Well, it’s about time. It’s tiring having to pay for everything.” He looks nonplussed as he loosens his tie and tosses his satchel against the floor.

The blood drains from my face. I can tell from his tone, he’s not in a good mood. Trying not to let him get me down, I suggest, “Let’s open a bottle of wine and have a glass to celebrate.”

He walks past me, headed towards our bedroom. “Whatever. Let me have a shower first.” I hear the annoyance in his voice as he leaves the room.

While Tom has his shower, I open a good Merlot I’ve been holding onto for a special occasion. I have a glass ready to hand to him when he walks back into the living room.

When he walks into the living room, I smile and hand him his glass. He slumps down on the couch next to me and grabs the television remote. As he turns on the business news channel, he asks, “So, what job did you get?”

“I’m going to be a parole officer.”

“What? A parole officer?” Tom looks far from happy. In fact, he looks as though he’s irritated with my announcement.

His heartless response crushes me. “Yeah, I know it’s not exactly my field, but at least it works in well with the philanthropic stuff I like.”

“You can’t take a job like that. That can’t possibly be safe for someone like you.” He sits up straight from his slouched position and places his wineglass and the remote onto the coffee table.

“Don’t worry. They’ll be training me so I’m sure it will be fine.”

“I don’t want you taking this job. You’re not built for it, and you’d never be able to defend yourself.”

Meeting his eyes, I say, “I’ve already accepted it. I start in a few days.”

“Well, you’re going to have to call them.” He shakes a pointed finger at me as if I am a child being ordered to obey his command. “Tell them you’ve changed your mind.”

“Tom, I’m not going to do that. It took me ages to get this job. I’m going out of my mind with boredom. I’ve no friends and nothing to do here. I need this job.”

Tom slams his fist down against the table, causing me to jump. “Why can’t you do what I say? The fact that you’re questioning my judgement is pissing me off. Just do as I say for once, goddammit!”

I’m shocked by his anger. “What are you going on about? I always do what you want, but I’m not backing out of this. I want to work.”

“I don’t care what you want.” His lips are tight as his nostrils flare, causing wrinkles to appear on his brow.

I’m shocked as I don’t understand where this level of rage is coming from. Speaking softly, I reach out my trembling hand to touch his, hoping it will calm him. “It will be all right. I don’t think they would hire me if they thought I’d be in danger.”

“I don’t want my wife around a bunch of criminals.”

I cock my head to the side. “I’m only entry level, so I won’t be working with hardened criminals. They said my focus would be working with people on minor drug offences and things like that.”

“I don’t think any of them are minor offences. I think they should all be in jail. This country is far too easy on its criminals.”

“People make mistakes and I’m sure a lot of what goes on in the world could be considered criminal. Every day you read in the news about some corrupt company.”

As I say this, Tom’s phone beeps, alerting him to a new text message. He looks at his phone, then shoves it back into his pocket.

“Who’s texting you at this hour?”

“Just someone from work.” A look of indignation come over his face.

In a monotone voice, I ask, “Who, Tom?” I wait a moment before repeating the question, which is now a demand.

He hesitates, glancing down at the floor before murmuring, “Beth.”

I try to hide how incensed I am at hearing that Beth is the one texting him. I take a deep breath before speaking. “Why is she texting you right now? Why doesn’t she bother her own man and leave you alone? Doesn’t that woman understand you are married?”

Like a cobra that has been woken up from a deep sleep, Tom fires up at me and spits out, “Don’t try to control me, Holly. I’ll do what I want and text who I want no matter what you say. Sometimes, I just wish you stayed back in Melbourne and didn’t come here.” He stands up and knocks the glass of wine to the ground, shattering it into a million pieces, staining my white rug.

Did he just say he wished I stayed back in Melbourne?

In a fury, I stand up, get in his face and say, “How can you say something so hurtful? You should want me here with you. And you should not be texting some cow who’s trying to bed you. You are married. Not single.”

Tom’s face turns a fiery red and his eyes open wide. He shoves me solidly in the chest, stealing my breath.

My feet come out from under me as I stagger backwards, falling to the ground.

He yells, “Fuck off,” as he storms out of our apartment, slamming the door behind him.

I’m left there on the floor with tears welling up in my eyes.

What is going on with him?

AFTER A FEW MINUTES, I get off the floor. Rubbing my chest, I wonder if I will get a bruise from either the strike or the fall. I stretch out my arms and realise I’m feeling stiff, probably from the shock of Tom’s behaviour.

I clean up the broken glass while tears stream down my cheeks. Carefully, I scrub the rug, but I know it is ruined forever. Still, I continue to try to remove the stain.

I cannot find the will to eat a bite of the dinner I’ve prepared, so I retire to bed alone. Somewhere around three o’clock, I hear the door open, signalling that Tom has come home. He’s clattering around in the lounge, but I do not move from my bed. I don’t want him to know I am awake. I lie here wondering where he has been all night, but I try with all my might to not care.

Was he with Beth?

My stomach clenches at the thought. I wait, still listening to him clamouring around the apartment. At one point, with my body tense, I hear him walk by our bedroom door. I wait for him to enter, but he doesn’t. The unit grows quiet, and I wonder if he has collapsed asleep on the couch. A tear falls down my cheek. If this is what having success means, I want no part of it. I want the old, carefree, fun-loving Tom back.

“HOLLY, CAN YOU WAKE up, please?” I hear a gentle voice while fingers softly stroke my cheek. As I come to, I remember the drama of last night. My heart quickens as I sit up and push Tom’s hand away. “Don’t touch me,” I mutter under my breath.

“Sorry to wake you, but I couldn’t go to work without talking to you first. I’m sorry about last night.” Tom looks pained as he speaks, and from his bloodshot eyes, I guess he’s possibly hungover. “I shouldn’t have gotten so upset about your new job. You’re right, you’ve been supportive of me all this time and I know you’ve been desperate to find work. So, I should be happy for you.” He exhales and studies my expression, watching for any sort of reaction.

“Tom, I don’t know what to say. I’ve never seen you get so angry before.” I’m careful not to show any sign of what I might be thinking. Or maybe I don’t know what to think at the moment.

Looking towards the floor, he says, “I know. I’m so sorry. It’s this job. It’s been so frustrating. One of my co-workers stole my idea, used it in a presentation, then took all the credit for it.”

There are tears in his eyes, but I’m not giving in so easily. “It’s not an excuse to take your anger out on me.”

Tom nods in agreement.

“I want to know why Beth was texting you.”

“She’s my boss. I can’t help it if she texts me.”

“I don’t like that she’s texting you at night when it is my time with you. It’s such an inappropriate thing for her to do.”

“Look, you don’t need to worry about her. She’s actually been annoying lately because she’s always making me do things she’s meant to be doing. Besides, there’s a rumour of her being transferred to a different department in another city.”

I mumble under my breath, “It would be nice to have that horrid woman out of our lives.”

Leaning close, Tom looks in my eyes. “She will never be the woman you are, so please don’t worry about her. You have to trust me and know that I’m doing all of this for you.”

“Well, I think you should tell her to get her own life and stay away from ours. And you should also tell her to leave you alone outside of work.”

“I’ll never be able to stop her from texting me if it’s something with work, no matter what time it is. I don’t have a choice in the matter, and I wish you’d try to understand this.”

“You have the choice to quit and find a new job,” I say curtly, even though I know he won’t leave his job for anything. “Maybe a new job won’t make you so angry all the time.”

He leans close, trying to hold my hand while peering into my eyes. “Babe, I love you. I am doing this job for us. I would never want to hurt you. I’m sorry I snapped. I just got so frustrated because you weren’t doing what I wanted when I was only trying to protect you.”

“You can’t blame me for you not being able to control yourself.”

Nodding, he replies, “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He reaches out to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, smoothing it into place. I’m still sitting motionless, not giving him any readable response. With tears still in his eyes, he pleads, “I promise, I will never do that ever again. Can you forgive me?”

KYLIE MOTIONS TO A waiter to bring another coffee before asking, “Did you forgive him?”

“Yeah, I did. I didn’t want to believe that the fun-loving Tom I knew was gone forever. I assumed he was just blinded by an insatiable drive for success and money.”

“Did you ever think that you should leave him for striking you?”

“The thought crossed my mind, but how could I leave? I had nothing, and nowhere to go. He seemed to show remorse when he apologised, so I guess I bought his apology.” Staring out the window for a moment, I then add, “I realise this must sound ironic considering the work I have done, but sometimes it is harder to leave than it is to stay.”

Kylie nods her head and hesitates, as if she’s trying to find the right words. “I understand it would have been a hard decision. I’m sure there are many women out there that can relate.”

“It’s not a choice I would wish on anyone. It’s easy to convince yourself that it will happen only one time, even if you are smart enough to realise it might not.” My body tenses as I stare down at my fingers wrapped around my empty mug. “After that night, he seemed to make an effort. He was smiling more, talking more, full of energy that I hadn’t seen since we moved. I was also working, so I didn’t have time to obsess about what might be wrong in our marriage. Turns out my job was a great distraction.”

A waitress walks to our table with a fresh latte.

I smile at her and take the cup. “Thank you.”

Kylie looks up from her notes. “Jen told me you were working in a regional parole office and not in the city, is that correct?”

I lean back in my chair, holding a fresh cup of coffee in my hands. “I started in the city and worked there for about a year. Then a temporary promotion came up in a regional area. The change came with a higher salary, so it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

“Was Tom okay with this?”

“By that point, he was used to me working and realised it wasn’t as dangerous as it sounds. Initially, he made assumptions about the job because he had watched too many crime documentaries that overinflated his imagination. Plus, the promotion meant I was going to bring in more money, so Tom’s greed diverted his attention away from any lingering concerns he might have had about my safety.”

“So, in the lead up to the incident at work, nothing seemed off about Tom?”

“To be honest, every once in a while, he would get in a weird mood, but it would disappear as elusively as it started. I thought things were going to be fine with us, even though we weren’t having sex as often as we had in the past. You hear that happens to everyone at some point, so it was nothing that worried me.”

“Did you ever talk about this with Tom?”

I shake my head while pursing my lips. “No, I never brought it up. Instead, I tried different things to get his attention, but honestly, most times, I was too tired to worry about it. Looking back now, I see how these situations become the perfect storm where a vulnerable woman can get distracted. But I never thought in a million years I would be the one that would get led astray. And never in a trillion years did I think a criminal that did hard time could lead me astray. That just doesn’t happen to someone like me who always follows the straight and narrow in life.”

“So, was this the beginning of the end?”

I shake my head as I take a sip of my hot latte. “Actually, it wasn’t an ending at all. It was more of a beginning in so many ways...”

CHAPTER FOUR

AFTER A SUGGESTION from one of his co-workers, Tom surprises me with a trip to the Sunshine Coast. He has taken us to a flash new hotel right on the Noosa Headlands. There is nothing like a weekend away to rekindle the romance and get one’s sex life back on track. Or so I’m hoping.

At the Eumundi markets, we wander around the eclectic stalls of gourmet food, artwork, beach fashion and tarot card readers. Tom smiles, enjoying what he says is the best calamari he ever tasted, while I sip on freshly brewed Queensland grown coffee.

A smile crosses my face at the sight of Tom looking happy and relaxed. “What would you like to do this evening, honey?”

“How about we go out for a nice Italian dinner and then a few cocktails somewhere along Hastings Street?”

“Sounds good, or we could stay in, order room service and relax naked together in the tub?” I pout at him salaciously, hoping he will choose to play with me tonight instead of going out.

He pulls my chin close to his face and licks his lips. “We could do that, couldn’t we?”

I lean forward, kissing his parted lips, hoping that he can sense the heat inside me.

We walk hand-in-hand along the stalls, glancing around for the next morsel of food to savour. I spot some Spanish churros, and with my love of cinnamon and chocolate, I must have some.

Tom feeds them to me, trying to smear the dipping sauce onto my face, joking as if we’re back at university.

Chocolate sauce drips off the churro onto my chin. He wipes it away with his thumb before leaning in to give me another kiss. His lips curl into a smile as he presses them against mine.

A nauseating voice rudely interrupts our kiss.

“Tom, what on earth are you doing?” Beth chastises him as if we’re a couple of kindergartners.

What is this woman doing here?

“Oh, hi, Beth.” Tom says awkwardly.

Even though Beth is standing right in front of us on our weekend away, I’m not sure I hear any surprise in his voice.

Was it Beth who suggested Tom take me to the Sunshine Coast?

“Hello,” I say politely, while trying to hold back my disdain at her appearance on my romantic weekend.

“Hello, Holly. What is that unhealthy thing you are eating?” Beth rolls her eyes in disgust.

“Spanish churros. They’re quite good, you should try one.” I hold out my dish to tempt her with something else that is mine.

“I wouldn’t dare put anything fried and unhealthy in this body.” Beth sneers as she rubs her one hand down her slim figure, trying to accentuate what she thinks she has on offer.

“Beth, where’s Rob?” Tom asks about her boyfriend.

“He’s buying me some artwork and should be along any moment.” Her tone is about as uninterested as a cat sleeping on a windowsill.

Ballsy, or maybe because my coffee has kicked in, I say, “I would love to meet this boyfriend of yours. He never seems to be around when I see you.”

Tom gives a shocked look, but I cannot help myself. That viper of a woman may think she controls my husband from Monday to Friday, but I want to remind her she doesn’t control his weekends.

“He’s here, I assure you,” Beth replies with that haughty tone she uses so well. She then looks towards my husband. “Tom, darling. Can you call me later so we can go over those reports for Monday?”

Before Tom can answer, I interrupt. “Beth, Tom will be busy with me later.”

Alarmed, Tom grabs my hand as if to pull me in line and says, “Beth, I’ll contact you when I can.”

Her eyes study my expression. “Actually, why don’t you meet us for a drink after dinner?”

Is she trying to aggravate me? As if I’d want to have drinks with her.

Tom clears his throat as he speaks. “Sure, Beth.” I’m guessing he’s trying to get us away from this situation before I say anything further.

“I better go find Rob before he buys something unsightly for me. Some men cannot be trained, no matter how hard you try.” Beth again rolls her eyes and is speaking in a tone that makes you wonder if any man has escaped her grasp without first being buried alive.

As she walks away, I look at Tom, who is still noticeably nervous, and say, “That woman is a piece of work. I don’t think I have ever met someone so full of themselves.”

“You shouldn’t be so tough on her. She’s nice once you get to know her.”

“And how would you know about her nice side, Tom?” I’m waiting for a reaction, but there isn’t one.

“I’m only saying that some people put up a tough front, but they’re not so bad once you get to know them. You should give her a chance.”

“I can read that woman like a book. She’s after one thing and it’s you.” I shake my finger in Tom’s direction as I cock my head to one side. “And I don’t believe she has a boyfriend.”

“Please don’t ruin this weekend with your wild imagination. She’s not into me. She’s just my boss. You need to behave because she could be the one that either makes or breaks my career.”

Furrowing my brow, I look at Tom, wondering how he could be so blind to Beth’s advances. “It’s not your career I’m worried about her making and breaking. I wish you’d understand that I can see right through her. I grew up with women like that. Don’t be so naïve, Tom. I know she’s after one thing, and it has nothing to do with business.”

“Let’s not talk about this, okay? I don’t want our weekend ruined.”

“Well, you’re the one that said we would meet for drinks. Why the hell would you do that? I don’t want to spend any time near that woman.”

Tom shrugs. “Maybe I’ll forget to text her.”

“Something tells me she’s not the type to forget anything when it comes to you.”

“Ignore her, Holly. Let’s go get another coffee and head to the beach.”

“Okay.” I sigh as I give up talking about that woman. I’m exasperated, but don’t want to ruin our weekend. I try to calm myself, letting go of my frustration with several deep breaths.

Maybe I can distract Tom later and keep him too busy to think of going out for drinks. I did bring those sexy thigh highs that Tom loves, so maybe that will do the job.

WE SPEND A COUPLE OF hours frolicking in the crystal blue waters off the headlands. We laugh, run around, and act uninhibited again.

When the sun drops lower in the sky, we head back to our hotel to get ready for dinner. As we get into the elevator to go up to the penthouse suite, Tom backs me up against the wall and kisses me mischievously. “Want to have some fun on the ride up, hon?”

“Hmm, sounds delicious.” I grab his hands and push them around my back so he can feel me untie the back of my bikini.

“Oh, you wicked thing,” Tom says with a sexy look on his face while he places his hands on my breasts to avoid them being completely exposed as we climb higher and higher towards the penthouse.

I moan softly into his ear as he massages my breasts in anticipation of what is about to come. I love the sensation of those hands on me and I’m looking forward to having them explore me once we get into our room.

The door of the elevator opens, and we stumble out. Staggering across the hallway, we bump into the door as Tom puts in the key. With our lips locked, we fall into our room as soon as the door opens.

After shutting the door, Tom guides me backwards across the room and down onto the couch.

The cushions pad my backwards fall while I grab onto the ties holding on Tom’s boardies. I tease him by rubbing just under their waistband, running my fingertips against the hairs just above his member.

He moans. “Oh, how you turn me on. You are just sex on legs, baby.”

He presses his body against me while I trail my kiss across his hard abs. His hands find their way to the back of my head, and he gently pushes me lower. I untie his boardies, but then he lifts my chin so I can look at his face.

His eyes meet mine and he murmurs in a husky tone, “Let’s get in the shower together.”

“Whatever you wish.” My insides tighten as I anticipate the onslaught of his touch and tongue against my flesh. A smile spreads across my lips at the thought of a proper romp like the old days. Finally, time to savour and explore each other with no distractions.

Near the shower, I take my time sliding Tom’s boardies off of him, trailing my fingers across his legs while he stands at full attention. I make him wait for my tongue as I rub my hands higher across his well-defined thighs.

He grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me to up to his lips. Kissing me forcefully, his tongue pushes into my mouth. My pulse quickens while his hands desperately push my bikini bottoms down.

He carefully guides me backwards into the shower. Without breaking our kiss, he reaches to turn on the knob with one hand. As we get under the stream of hot water, his hand moves down between my legs.

I moan and arch forward, hoping he pushes his fingers inside.

The phone rings, rudely interrupting us.

Breathlessly, he says, “Wait here a moment.”

“No, that can wait a moment. Focus on me, honey.” To keep his focus, I grab his hard member and begin stroking it, enticing him with my grip. But that damn phone keeps ringing.

Tom breaks my kiss, sighs in irritation, and goes to get his phone. “I can’t focus with that incessant ringing.”

“Fuck, Tom, really?” I stomp my foot hard against the tiled floor in frustration and annoyance.

He looks at his phone. A look of apprehension tells me it is Beth.

“Who is it?” I demand, maddened beyond belief. The old Tom would never have broken an intimate moment for a phone call.

Goddam, that woman has impeccable timing!

His shoulders slump over as he holds his hand out with the palm upward. “It’s Beth. I have to answer, or she’ll keep calling.”

“Fine, whatever the fuck you need to do, Tom.” I slam the shower door, almost shattering it, ending the passionate moment between us. My heart splinters as I stand under the hot water wondering how he could choose to take a call over sex.

AFTER MY SHOWER, I walk out and find Tom still on the phone discussing the latest work crisis. I know his eyes are watching my every move, so I grab the television remote and lay nonchalantly on the couch, completely naked.

While still on the phone, he walks towards me and places his hand against my leg. He rubs upward with his fingertips.

I brush it away as if I’m brushing off a fly. His expression tenses, but I don’t care.

When he finally gets off the phone, he avoids making eye contact with me as he speaks. “We are meeting Beth and Rob after dinner for some drinks.”

Sitting up, I frown at him. “Do we have to? I mean, this was our weekend away. And you said earlier we didn’t have to meet up with them.”

He shakes his head. “Holly, please don’t give me a hard time about this. We have to do this for my career. Whether you like it or not, Beth has a lot of pull in this company and I’m hoping to move into a position that could get us back to Melbourne.” He walks towards me and sits next to me on the couch.

“But what about our marriage? At what cost are you willing to do this?”

“Our marriage is most important. That’s why I am working so hard. I have your best interests at heart because if this project comes through, we’ll move. I know how much you hate living in Brisbane, so isn’t that a good thing?” Tom reaches out and smooths my wet hair to one side as I look down in resignation. “I promise one day soon, you will have all of my attention again, okay?” He grabs my hands and pouts like a child begging for some candy.

“Fine. But don’t expect me to play nice with someone I loathe.”

“You can loathe her all you want, but just don’t make it too obvious.”

“Whatever.” I give in to this situation, though I detest it.

AFTER DINNER, WE HEAD to a bar to meet up with Beth and Rob. I am not surprised when we arrive, and it is only Beth waiting at the bar. “Hi, Beth, where’s Rob?”

Without skipping a beat, she answers curtly, “He had to take a call. He’ll be back in a moment. It’s something that comes with the territory of his job.”

With a hint of scepticism in my voice, “Take a call for what?”

Tom clears his throat. “Honey, Rob is a doctor.”

I turn towards Beth and ask, “Have you been dating Rob long?”

“We’ve dated off and on since college. My career is my priority, so I don’t make too much time for serious dating. But don’t worry, I have plenty of things to keep me busy.” Beth says this while staring at Tom.

It disgusts me how she can be so blatant that my husband is in her sights as her next conquest. I grab Tom’s hand, pull it close to my hip, and glare at him. Raising my eyebrows, I give him a sickly sweet smile. “Why don’t you get us a drink, honey?” I make sure I say it in a way to make Beth feel as though she doesn’t exist. Though in all my effort, I can tell she’s not bothered by my attempts to stake out my territory. Women like this do not roll over and play dead.

“Sure, what do you want?” Tom shuffles on his feet as he pretends to pick a piece of lint off his jacket.

Beth chimes in. “I’ll take the usual, Tom, darling.”

The usual?

I give Tom an icy glare.

Awkwardly he says, “Umm, Holly is a dirty martini also okay for you, or do you want something different?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

As he walks off, Beth yells after him. “Don’t forget, Tom darling, I like mine extra dirty.”

Did she just say that? Who does this woman think she is?

Tom shrugs and looks at me as if to admit defeat before walking off.

Crap, I’m left with this horrid excuse of a woman. Do I have to talk to her?

Luckily, her phone rings, so I lean against the table while fiddling with my phone as a distraction.

After a few minutes of hearing Beth’s cackling laugh being thrown at whoever is on the other end of the phone, I look towards the bar to see what’s keeping Tom. I don’t see him and wonder why he’s not there.

I walk over to the fashionable bar, lined up with several viable options of men if I was single. But I’m not, so I silently enjoy feeling their wanton stares as I walk past. It is a confidence boost to help deal with that viper trying to get between Tom and me.

Scanning the area around the bar, I still don’t see Tom. Where could he be? I walk towards the bathroom, which are joint male-female toilets with a sink in between. The glasses of wine I had with dinner have given me the courage to push on the door, knowing I could accidentally walk in on a stranger without caring. Pushing on the door handle, it opens with ease and I gasp from shock.

Inside, Tom snorts a line of something.

I’m stunned at the sight of my pristine, utterly conventional husband breaking the law.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I yell as the rage boils across my face. I fight the tears welling up in my eyes.

He swallows hard while snorting as if something is stuck in his throat. “Don’t go crazy, hon. It’s only a bump to give me some energy. I’m exhausted from all the work I’ve been doing.”

I glare at this stranger standing before me. “When did you start doing coke, Tom?”

His eyebrows lower as he snaps his head and stares hard in my direction. “I don’t do coke. It’s just a little someone gave me to help me get through some of the long hours. Not a habit.” He wipes at his nose and clears his throat.

Fighting back the tears, I can hardly contain the anger about to explode from within me. I take a deep breath and speak firmly. “I can’t believe you! Take me home now.”

“Holly, relax. Stop being insane.”

“I’m not insane. Take me home.” My hands coil into tight fists ready to fight against this horrible revelation of my husband’s behaviour.

“We can’t leave Beth. What will she think?”

“Why do you care what that cow thinks?”

“She’s my boss.” There’s an annoyance in his eyes.

“Is this the reason you’ve been working so late and coming home in grumpy moods all the time? How can you do this when your wife is a parole officer?”

“Get off your high horse, Holly. Not all of us are perfect like you. Some of us need to do things to feel good and enjoy life. You have it so easy. I do everything for you.”

Offended, I shake my head. “I don’t know you anymore, and that breaks my heart. How can you not care what I think?”

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. Everyone can go fuck themselves. I’m my own man and I do whatever the fuck I want. No one tells me what to do.”

I place my hands on my hips, cocking my head in Tom’s direction. “Oh, really? It seems you do what Beth wants all the time. Are you sleeping with her?”

“Get fucked, Holly. You’re crazy.”

“Take me home now.” My lips are firmly together as I turn to walk out of the bathroom.

“What about Beth?”

I throw my hand in the air. “Who gives a crap about Beth? Take me home now or else.”

“Whatever. You’re always so fucking boring. I wish you never came to Brisbane.” Tom storms out of the bathroom, slamming the door, almost breaking it off its hinges as he walks back to where Beth is.

I follow behind him like a lost puppy, a glutton for punishment, trailing after someone that doesn’t give a shit about me.

How can he say these things after we took vows?

I cannot figure out why this man seems hellbent on destroying me with words. It’s not like he gave me a real choice in moving. I would have preferred to stay in Melbourne instead of moving to Brisbane, where I’ve been treated as a constant afterthought by him.

We walk towards Beth, and I hear Tom say that we are tired and are going home.

Beth looks disappointed. “Are you sure you must go? The night is only getting started.”

Tom looks back at me as though he’s struggling to decide what’s the right thing to do.

How could he even consider staying here with her over taking me home?

Standing with my back to Beth, I give Tom the evil eye.

He says, “Yeah, I’m tired and don’t feel so well.”

She reaches her hand out to stroke her claw-like fingers on his back, as she leans close to kiss him. “Goodbye, darling.” She looks over at me and frowns. “See you sometime, Holly.”

I’m too angry at Tom to care about Beth’s loathsome attitude. I turn, roll my eyes and walk towards to front door. My head is heavy with the realisation that I don’t know this man I’m married to anymore.

Each step he takes up the corporate ladder is a step further away from me.

My heart aches from the distance growing between us.

ANGER IS COURSING THROUGH my veins as I walk back to our hotel. I know better than to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing out of anger. Though, I could easily let hell loose with words right now.

With each step I take, I silently question everything about Tom. I hate this man right now because something I cannot condone is a drug habit.

Of all things, drugs. He never strayed onto this path before. How long has he been doing this?

Tom pleads as he walks behind me. “Holly, it was only to help with getting through my work.”

I don’t respond.

“Stop for a moment and listen to me.”

Walking closer to the hotel, my heels clicking against the ground with my blind rage propelling me forward.

At the elevator, I try to get the doors to shut without letting Tom in with me. I repeatedly jab the buttons, hoping like hell that the more I punch it, the quicker the doors will close. I hear Tom getting closer as my efforts pay off. I watch the doors slam across his face. Now, if they could have only hurt you like you have just hurt me.

I get into our room, lock myself in the bathroom, and slump to the floor. Tears fall down my face. A few minutes later, I hear Tom on the other side of the door.

“Please come out and talk to me, Holly.”

“No.” I wipe my tear-stained face as I pick myself up off the tiled floor. I walk towards the mirror and lean against the sink. Staring at my reflection, I wonder how this could be my life.

Where did my dreams go? I’ve given it all up for Tom. And for what?

“Please, Holly.”

Turning around, I speak soberly through the door. “Tom, I’m going to take a shower and then go to sleep. You have the couch. Don’t try to talk to me any more tonight.”

I never thought Tom could break me like this. Everything we have built is crumbling down around me.

What am I supposed to do now?

CHAPTER FIVE

MY SILENT TREATMENT towards Tom lasts through the rest of our weekend away. I can’t speak to him or have him near me because I’m too disgusted with the man he’s become.

Once home, I continue to avoid being in the same room as him, including trying to fall asleep on the couch instead of our bed. As I drift to sleep, Tom walks over and sits on the coffee table, blocking my view of the movie I’m watching.

He places his elbows on his knees and leans close to me.

I don’t move, nor do I look at him.

“Holly, you must talk to me.”

Continuing to stare past him, I roll onto my back and look at the ceiling.

“Please, just talk to me. This really isn’t a big deal.”

My lips purse as I continue to stare above me, focusing on a crack I never noticed before.

He tries to get my attention by tracing a line around my arm with his fingertips.

I recoil, shifting away from his touch.

“You’re acting a little ridiculous. I only did coke a couple times to help me get through the crazy hours at work.” Tom sits taller and runs his hand through his hair as he grows increasingly frustrated at my silent treatment towards him. “You know it’s no different than when we took E’s that time at the Big Day Out while we were at university.”

My jaw clenches at his suggestion that taking drugs once at a music festival compares to this current situation. I refuse to engage in any banter and instead scream at him inside my head, ‘Of course it’s different, you fool! We’re adults. We have responsibilities, bills to pay and that sort of behaviour can risk everything. Not to mention, I’m a parole officer.’

He sighs in frustration. “I think you need to grow up, Holly. Get over yourself and get off your fucking high horse.”

Ha! Me? I’m the one needing to grow up. Yeah, right. Get real, Tom!

Growing weary of me ignoring him, he stands and goes to our bedroom. I hear him grunt in frustration as he slams the door.

Lying there, staring at that crack in the ceiling, I contemplate what options I have. The fury is morphing into feelings of depression and hopelessness as I face my reality. Tom is more in love with the idea of me being his wife versus him actually being in love with me.

Do I really want to give up on my marriage? No, I just want things to go back to the way they were. But how can I stay in a marriage with someone I don’t trust?

Questions and thoughts roll through my head over and over, drowning me in melancholy, and I’m desperate for air. There is no relief in sight as the spark inside of me has all but flickered out. I’m a woman forced to go through the motions of a loveless marriage, taking it one day at a time, trying and hoping my husband does right by me and our marriage goes back to being okay.

Is that what all marriages go through? How long am I supposed to wait for things to change?

MONDAY ROLLS AROUND and it’s another one of those mornings where I’m stuck driving behind a slow-moving cattle truck on my way to work. My normal ninety-minute drive becomes over two hours.

I park my car and practically run into the office.

Why must they make us use this public carpark that is so far from my office? Surely, they could have provided us with parking closer to work.

Out of breath, I push the door open to enter my office. Fortunately for me, my co-worker hands me a coffee she already has waiting.

I sigh in relief and take the coffee. “Thanks for that. I couldn’t believe how slow traffic was this morning. Friggin’ cattle truck held me up for ages.”

One saving grace I have had since taking this regional job is my co-worker Lisa. She’s a complex, supportive, shoot from the hip kind of woman that has made me feel as though she would drop anything to make sure I’m all right. She’s not had an easy life, but carries on full of hope for the future, still enjoying whatever carefree moments she can get. Best of all, she can always tell me a story to pick me up when I’m feeling down.

“Don’t forget we have an induction today,” Lisa says to me as she sips her own coffee.

I roll my eyes. “Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me. I almost forgot.”

On Monday, we have our busiest day. Offenders arrive from the surrounding areas to report in as part of their probation or parole orders. Once I started working here, I got a quick introduction to rural life in Australia.

During my first few weeks, I was told story after story about problems like someone trying to deal with a failing property, not enough water, and low crop yields. The learning curve was steep as I had no idea how tough farmers, truckers, and anyone else related to the agricultural industry has it in Australia.

Like most city people, I don’t think I ever gave the origin of food I ate much thought until I came out here. The difficulties make me question why farmers would even bother doing what they do out here in the bush.

Taking another sip of coffee, I reach over and grab my files to check who I will be seeing in the reporting room today. So far, everything seems pretty standard, and I haven’t received reports of any new incidents from the weekend.

Thank goodness, as I do not think I could handle any more paperwork in my overflowing ‘To Do’ pile.

All I can hope for is that there are no surprises coming at me today. Maybe I will get a chance to go home on time. Ha! Going home on time would be a dream Besides, do I even want to go home if Tom is there?

A sigh escapes me, and my heart aches at the thought of seeing Tom later.

Lisa notices my despondent expression and flashes me one of her comforting smiles. “How was your sexy weekend away?”

“A disaster. It started off great but then fell apart.”

Her expression tenses as she hears my words. “What happened?”

“Well, you know that snotty boss of Tom’s I told you about?” I take a moment to have another sip of warm coffee.

“You mean Beth?”

“Yeah, her.” I roll my eyes. “Well, she just happened to be at the coast.”

Lisa raises her eyebrows in shock. “Did Tom know she was going to be there?”

“He said he didn’t, but who knows. Beth seems overbearing and dominant, so maybe it’s her little game.”

But what game is Tom playing? Whatever it is, I’m tired of it.

“So, where did you see her?”

“We ran into her at the Eumundi markets and then she asked to meet with us for drinks. I told Tom I didn’t want to go, but I got the same old song and dance from him about needing to impress her for whatever project or promotion at work.” My eyes roll again at how ridiculous this must sound.

“And how’d it go?”

“Not well. We didn’t stay long. Tom left me alone with her while he went to get drinks. After a few minutes, I went to look for him and it turns out he is up to no good.”

“What?” Lisa’s jaw dropped.

I shake my head. “Not the kind of trouble you’re thinking, but more the substance kind. He was snorting lines in the bathroom.”

“Oh, God, honey.” She waves her hand in the air as if she was mentally smacking Tom in the face.

“Yeah, it was a total shock. He’s never been into anything other than drinking. He said a co-worker gave it to him to help him through all the hours he’d been doing.”

“That’s tough, hon. Did he forget you work around people doing drugs so it’s not like he can pull the wool over your eyes?”

“Well, clearly he has been. I don’t know what he’s thinking.” I reach up and rub my temples. “My head hurts trying to figure it out. I’m so tired. I’ve hardly slept since Saturday night. All I can say is that I’m turning the silent treatment into an art form right now.”

“Oh girl, you’ll be fine. You’re tougher than you realise.”

Just then, the buzzer rings, alerting us that an offender has come into the waiting room.

I glance at Lisa as I push myself up to go let him in. “No rest for the wicked.” I go to escort the waiting offender into the interview room for his reporting appointment.

THE MORNING FLIES BY with interview after interview. No real break to catch my breath, which is probably good because it keeps me from thinking about my marriage.

Right before lunch, Lisa tells me I have a missed call from Tom.

She gives me the message on paper and laughs as I dramatically tear it up and toss it into the trash bin next to me. “I will not be returning that call.”

“I guess I know how to respond next time he rings.”

“You know I’m so over having to put up with behaviour I don’t agree with because of his job or because he’s my husband. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean I have to be a glutton for punishment. It’s total bullshit!”

“I so know, hon. That’s why I’m already divorced. I never knew how much a piece of paper can change someone or make you feel trapped.” Lisa shakes her head.

“I blame his damn obsession with what he thinks he must achieve in his career. It’s totally disproportionate to what I think. I guess he saw what I grew up with and thinks we have to achieve that same level of success. What he fails to see is I don’t need all that material crap to be happy.”

Lisa’s laughing stops as she notices someone come into the waiting room on the security video. “Whoa... who’s this?” Lisa narrows her gaze onto the screen.

I look over her shoulder and see a tall man with dark hair, incredibly built, wearing a tightly fitted T-shirt and jeans. “I guess it’s our induction?” I’m surprised because, glancing at the clock, I realise this guy is on time. No one is ever on time for their appointments in this office. “He looks a lot different from the photos in his file.”

“I guess this one’s been working out a lot while doing his time.” Lisa grins at me, then says, “Today might be interesting after all! What did you say he did?”

“He was caught dealing drugs. From the brief, it was a decent sized operation. He got a six-year sentence, served three and made parole.”

“Oh, why must the bad ones look so good?” Lisa continues to stare at this Adonis on the other side of the camera.

“Lucky for me, I don’t have a penchant for bad boys like you.” I tease her back with a sly smile.

“Are you sure about that? Sounds like Tom has become a bit of a bad boy lately.”

“I’m not sure Tom could be a bad boy if he tried. He might be a smug loser who clearly doesn’t realise how lucky he is to have me, but he isn’t a real bad boy.” I grin at Lisa as I go to escort this intriguing inductee into the interview room.

As I’m about to launch into the usual greeting I give all my new parolees, I’m caught off guard by how striking this man is. It’s as if the world stops while our eyes meet, and I am caught between two seconds of time.

Gain your composure, Holly!

My stomach flutters before I finally hear myself saying, “Hello, I’m Holly, your parole officer. Come in and take a seat...” I look deep into his steel-blue eyes, getting lost in their intensity. I realise I’ve stopped mid-sentence and cannot remember his name. My cheeks feel hot from awkwardness as I glance down at the file to confirm it’s ‘Aiden’.

What is happening to me today?

“Hi, Holly,” Aiden says, standing tall while staring into my eyes. His look is unnerving, sending a shiver through me from head to toe.

There is something captivating about those eyes.

He speaks with a husky voice as he sits. “Look, I know you must hear this often, but I want to do what it takes to get through this and put this mistake behind me. I’ve embarrassed my family enough and I need to make things right.” He speaks with confidence, yet there is no hint of the arrogance or cockiness that we usually get in this office.

Who is this guy?

Aiden is intriguing from the start, and I am now wishing I read his file more carefully. I’m so used to how these young guns come in with so much bad boy attitude, as if they’ve done nothing wrong, but something about Aiden is different.

Trying to stay focused on the task at hand, I try to ignore the depth of those eyes and his rugged good looks. “Aiden, today I need to make sure you understand how the parole process works and make sure you’re all sorted for where you are staying since you were just released this morning. I can arrange for any urgent support you may need financially or anything else to help get you settled.”

He speaks again with unwavering confidence. “I’m good. I’m staying with my family on one of their properties out of town. You don’t have to worry. There aren’t any issues with my finances or anything.”

This is not the normal response we get from offenders just released. Normally, I spend a few hours arranging for emergency financial support and accommodation. For once, my job seems easy, which is a rarity.

“Well, if that’s all sorted, we need to go through the rules and your rights to make sure you understand everything. Once that’s done, we’ll schedule your next reporting visit.” I pause for a moment, continuing to stare at this man sitting before me. “At that visit, we will go through some assessment questions to work out what we can do to ensure you can put this all behind you. Okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine, but I promise you I don’t want to go backwards. No more get rich quick schemes for me,” he says, trying to make a joke and giving me a half grin.

A joke?

I’m not used to parolees cracking jokes on the first day, so I look at him with my head half-cocked, wondering if this guy is working some sort of angle. They usually wait until they have worked out if I’m the “good cop” or “bad cop” style of managing their parole or probationary orders before testing the waters.

I take a good look at him and get distracted by how his shirt, steel blue and matching his eyes, is tight in all the right places. The soft fabric hugs his pecs and biceps as he sits with them curled tight.

What would it be like to run my hands along that chest and feel the strength in those arms?

Interrupting my obsessive gaze on his chest, Aiden clears his throat to get my attention, and says with a knowing smile, “When do I need to come back?”

Oh, God! He’s caught me staring at his body.

I’m lost for words. I fumble around with my appointment book in a failing attempt to cover up my lusting at his body. Pathetically, I have lost all sense of grace as I try to regain my composure. I’ve never been distracted by a parolee before.

I’ve been taught to think once a criminal, always a criminal, right? Maybe this is just his game to make his life easier. Make me lust after him and lure me into submission, so I treat him well and ignore any breaches of his parole.

Clearing my throat, I tap my pen against the desk, ready to write in the appointment book. “How about we start tomorrow? Two o’clock, okay?”

“Tomorrow works fine for me.” He gives me a million-dollar smile, sending a wave of butterflies through my stomach. I try to focus as I write out the reminder slip for his next appointment. I stand up to walk him out the door, but realise Aiden is not moving from his chair. Turning around, I look at him puzzled.

“Ummm, aren’t you supposed to read me my rights or something?” He stares at me with those striking eyes.

A red-hot flush crosses my cheeks again. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. I completely forgot.”

What is going on with me? How could I completely forget protocol when I have done this so many times before?

I clear my throat and try to sound witty as I speak. “Sorry, I’m not sure where my head is. Thank you for reminding me.”

Holly, you know where your head is. It’s focused on his body and how you would like to touch those rippling muscles bulging through his shirt.

I somehow muster up enough concentration to go through the rules and rights of parole, trying to focus on the induction paperwork rather than his smile and oh-so-fit body. Though I’m not looking into his eyes, I sense the heat of his gaze on me. I want to look, but I can’t. There’s something about him that tells me if I look right now, I will melt and dissolve into a hot mess.

I review some of the details of his parole and explain, “You’re approved to live at the address you nominated before your release. If you decide to move, you have to give us advance notice, so we can approve the new address.” I glance upward and see he nods his head before I look back down. “I know you said you have already secured employment with your family business, so we don’t need to worry about setting you up with appointments at any employment agencies. I don’t see any requests or conditions relating to drug dependency issues...”

“I only sold them. I never took them,” Aiden interrupts me, speaking in a definitive, sober tone. “I know that sounds odd, but it’s the truth.”

“That’s good because if you’re clean, then that’s one less issue I’ll need to worry about. I want to ensure you have the best chance at making it through your parole period with no setbacks.” Every time I glimpse at Aiden, I start to overheat.

Is the air conditioner broken? What is going on with me?

I need to get this man out of my office because I’ve never been attracted to a parolee before. I’ve got to get my head back on straight. He must think I’m ridiculous, acting all absent-minded and distracted.

Wait a second, why do I care what he thinks? He’s a criminal. Not my forte whatsoever. I’ve always stuck with the boring, strait-laced corporate geeks of the world.

Somehow, I finish the paperwork. Tapping the sheets against the desk to ensure they are stacked together neatly, I say, “Well, that’s it for now. Since you have everything sorted with where you are staying, there’s nothing else we need to do today.” I stand to walk Aiden to the door for the second time.

As I pass the end of the desk, my foot hits the table leg, causing me to lose my balance. I trip, but Aiden grabs me, stopping me from stumbling to the floor.

When my mind catches up with the action, I realise my hand is on his chest and his arm is wrapped around mine. My stomach flutters at the feeling of his hard muscles and those powerful hands on me. I look up, hot with embarrassment, and jerk away from him. I’ve never had physical contact with a parolee before, and I’m keenly aware this may be the first time Aiden has touched a woman in a long time.

“You, okay?” he asks, half smiling, but in a way that shows concern, making me feel even more pathetic.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I can’t believe I just did that.” I must get him out of this office before I die from humiliation.

He must think I’m such an idiot.

“I’m looking forward to tomorrow, Holly.”

Mesmerised by the sound of his husky voice saying my name, I can’t speak.

He stands tall, lifting his chin slightly to look towards me as though he’s sizing me up from head to toe. He walks out the door and shuts it behind him.

As soon as he’s gone, I check that we have no one in the waiting room. I grab Lisa and take her to our outdoor break room to have a cigarette.

Looking at me oddly, Lisa asks, “Why are you so flustered?”

As I take my first drag, I say, “Lisa, I’ve never acted so stupid in my life.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. I was surprised by how good looking he was. What is wrong with me? I’m married. I shouldn’t be attracted to some stranger that has done hard time.”

She shakes her head and laughs. “Oh honey, it’s happened to me more times than I care to admit. It’s totally normal. I mean, look at what we’re confronted with here. Men come out of prison usually ripped to the hilt because what else are they going to do with their time in there? Too bad most lose it once they’re back out.” She takes a drag on her cigarette. “Besides, just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t check out what else is for sale from time to time, right? How do you think I keep my sex life going strong? It’s all the fantasies and illusions I get from seeing muscled up guys here that I use to spice things up at home.”

I laugh at what she’s saying, but at the same time I’m also intrigued.

Hmm, maybe this is what I need to get some heat in the bedroom at home? Once Tom and I are talking again, that is.

I would love to have more than the occasional unsatisfying five-minute quickie because Tom needs to get sleep for his next big meeting or whatever. With that thought, I hear the buzzer and realise the next round of appointments are coming in.

I look at Lisa and roll my eyes. “Back to the grind.”

CHAPTER SIX

I’M AT MY DESK THE next morning, futilely trying to catch up on paperwork before taking a break to read over Aiden’s file. I want to be ready for him today, so I don’t make a fool of myself again.

Assessment interviews are never fun, but for some reason I’m looking forward to this one. This interview will give me a chance to get to know Aiden of his own accord, versus the clinical approach we get from police records, court documents and prison assessments.

I pick up his file and am surprised to find it’s quite thin compared to the ones I’m used to reading. Its pages confirm Aiden comes from a wealthy family that owns several successful cattle properties across Australia. Other than this, there was not much of a past personal history or criminal record. It was as if no one took the time to understand what could cause him to turn to something illegal when he was financially set. Like they labelled it as a rich kid gone bad and moved on to the next inmate.

I continue reading and find some documents explaining his charges and the exact events of his arrest. Aiden was found to be running a lucrative drug operation that was focused on selling pills, speed, and cocaine in nightclubs and festivals. After his arrest, they offered him a deal to give up the names of the people he was working with, but he didn’t take it. It seems he just kept to himself while serving his time, remaining loyal to the others that were involved.

Wonder if they had something on him, or if he just cared enough to keep quiet. To protect those he loved from being put in harm’s way.

IT’S TIME FOR MY APPOINTMENT with Aiden, and I can’t help but stare at the security monitor as he walks into the office.

Lisa notices me gazing at the screen. “Are you ready for him?”

Raising my brow, I wink at her as I go get Aiden from the waiting area.

“Hello, Holly,” Aiden says in a mellow tone while his sultry blue eyes watch mine.

My knees are wobbling before I hear his voice.

Get a grip, Holly!

“Hi, Aiden. How are you today?” I motion with my hand for him to follow me into the interview room.

“I’m all right. It was nice sleeping in a comfortable bed again.” He says as he sits down across from me.

Aiden lying in bed, what a thought. Holly, stay focused!

I must remember, I’m dealing with a felon most likely trying to sweet talk me to avoid any problems with his parole.

Maybe he isn’t doing this, though. Surely, they aren’t all bad.

I clear my throat to get focused. “It’ll take a little while before everything feels normal for you. How are things going with your family?”

“That stuff’s okay. I guess there will be some awkwardness for a little while until I prove my worth. I know I lost their respect and I want to get it back.”

“That might take a little time, but I think you can do it.” My gaze drops to his chest and how his t-shirt wraps him like a Christmas gift begging to be unwrapped.

Stay on task, Holly.

I clear my throat. “Let’s get started, okay?”

“All right.” Aiden leans forward, putting his elbows on the table and his chin into one of his hands.

“We have to go through some questions in for me to understand your past and help you get on track for your future. If you are getting overwhelmed by anything, let me know.” I notice the size of his flexed bicep, almost ripping through the short sleeve of his shirt.

I wonder if my hand can fit around that. What would it feel like to touch that muscle? Oh, why am I thinking this? Focus, Holly!

I again clear my throat. “We’ll start with your schooling. What was the highest grade you completed?”

“I graduated high school with good marks, then took a gap year before I went to university. I completed about two years of a dual degree before I got, ahh, side-tracked into the business venture that got me here.” Aiden says, trying to make a joke.

Why must he be so likable?

His manner is causing the balance of power between us to shift as I grow increasingly intrigued by who Aiden really is.

“Why do you think you got side-tracked?” I ask, trying to keep my professional approach.

“It was quite simple. I saw a way to make my own money. It was a business opportunity, and I wanted to see where it would go. I hate to say it, but I was good at it.” He pauses for a moment before adding, “It brought in a lot of money, but I guess we both know it didn’t last.”

Is he trying to be sarcastic?

I try to remain focused on my job and make a suggestion to him. “What do you think about going back to finish your studies now that you’re out?”

“I haven’t given it any thought.” He leans back in his chair and strokes his chin with his hand.

“Finishing your degree would be good. This way you can put your good business sense to use in a legal way.”

He laughs at my statement. “I didn’t deal for the money. You see, my family has a lot, and I mean a lot, of money. But you’re right, I should get my degree.”

“Yes, you should. Umm, you say you didn’t do it for the money, but earlier you said you saw this as a way to make money, so, which one is it?” I lean in towards Aiden with my arms resting on the table, trying to look like I care about what he has to say, regardless of what it might be.

“I did it because I thought I needed to prove to my father that I could make it on my own without the family money.” Aiden speaks with a serious tone, taking a moment to observe my reaction.

“But why drugs?”

“Like I said, I saw an opportunity. I think I felt infallible because of my family’s money. The power and rush I got from it seduced me. People who depended on me, respected me.” He traces an imaginary line on the table in front of him before adding, “In a way, I owned them. But I realise now, this was totally misguided.” His look changes to one of concern as he searches my expression.

Is he concerned with whether I believe him?

“I understand, but I’m not here to judge you or punish you. The courts have already done that. I’m just here to help you get through your time on parole.”

Aiden nods his head in understanding.

“You said you wanted to prove to your father you’re smart, but you also said your grades were good? Why would you need to prove you’re smart if you had the marks?”

He recoils at my question. Like many offenders, he doesn’t want to show any signs of weakness. Maybe he is hiding something, or maybe he’s used to being closed off because of being in prison. Weakness is not a good thing to show while on the inside.

“I don’t know. I just remember not wanting to be like my dad. After having the last few years to think through everything, I see things differently. He tried to be a good man and a good father and luckily, he’s giving me another chance to help him in the family business. He wants me to take over part of it soon. He’s almost apologetic about it all, though I tell him none of what happened is his fault.”

“Is the family business what you want to do?”

Leaning back in his chair, Aiden hesitates with a long exhale. “I do now. There was a time I wouldn’t even consider it. I wanted to live in the city and get away from the fickle, rural lifestyle. It’s not easy when you rely on weather and livestock. But after what I have been through, I realise city life is not for me.” Aiden stares straight at me. “I want just the simple pleasures in life. All the time in the world to do what you want to with no distractions.” His eyes travel down my body.

Is he trying to be salacious, eyeing me up and down like that? And that remark about all the time in the world?

The ability to have time to do anything seems like such a foreign concept to me. I’m not sure I’ve ever had that in my life.

What would I even do with all that time if I had it?

I put my hand up on my chin, letting my fingers brush against my lips. “It’s good you have this goal. It helps to stay focused on something positive because it will keep you from being lured back into anything that could affect your parole.” I pause for a moment to take a few notes before continuing. “Let’s move on to the next part of the assessment. Do you drink alcohol or take any drugs?”

“I don’t do any drugs. I’ll occasionally drink beer or enjoy a nice Aussie red wine with dinner, but not often.”

“Have you ever taken any illegal drugs on a regular basis?”

“I experimented once with ecstasy, but nothing else and never again.” He pauses for a moment. “It may surprise you considering I got caught selling drugs, but in all honesty, I don’t like drugs. I just sold them and that’s it. Taking drugs meant giving up control of myself and I never could do that. I like being in control.”

My pulse quickens as he emphasises the words ‘being in control’.

Aiden leans against the table again. He’s close enough that I can smell his scent. The musky mix of cologne, sweat and him sends my pulse racing. Usually, when an offender leans in close like this, I recoil because the scent is hardly ever alluring. In fact, most often it can be downright putrid, making me want to hold my breath. But not this time. This time I want to lean closer towards him and lose myself in that scent. This is territory I have never been before.

Focus, Holly!

Trying to keep on task, I ask, “Do you have any health issues now or have you had any in the past?”

“Nothing now and nothing in the past. I try to stay as fit as possible.”

“Have you ever been treated for any psychological conditions or mental illness, including anxiety or depression?”

Aiden sits up straight and answers, “No.”

“You didn’t have any difficulties when you went into jail?”

Looking down at his R. M. Williams boots, he scuffles his feet for a moment. “It wasn’t easy when I was first in. I was used to acres of space and an endless horizon. Imagine going from that to being confined to a dingy cell. It was nothing short of soul destroying.”

“Did you ask for any help to deal with this?”

“They give us all some sort of mood elevator pills in there. I took one for a few weeks, but then decided I had to just accept things. I got off the meds. Instead, I put my energy into reading and working out.”

“Are you concerned you still suffer from any anxiety or depression from being in prison?”

“No. I’m fine.”

I notice we have gone through most of the assessment questions quickly. It has not taken as long as most parolees because many topics do not relate to Aiden, and I’ve been able to skip them.

On the surface, it seems he led a criminal lifestyle to prove something to his father.

Is it possible I have met someone that changes everything I thought I knew from this job?

My moral compass has shifted drastically off its normal course.

“This is usually all I ask in the first session, so I think we can stop for today. I know you have to drive a long way for these visits. We can try to finish all of them next time if you want. When is it good for you to come back?”

“I’ll come back anytime you want me to, but first, can I ask you something?” Aiden says, leaning in closer towards me. “I think it is only fair, considering I’m answering all of your questions.”

I put my hand back on my chin as I bite my lip with trepidation. “What do you want to know?”

“I like that accent of yours. Where are you from?”

Normally, when a parolee asks anything personal, I say, ‘This is about you, not me,’ and I refuse to answer the questions. Information is often their only currency in jail, and they know how to use the smallest thing to get what they want. It’s usually best that they know nothing about me, but for some reason, I answer this time, keeping it in very general terms. “I grew up in America.”

“Can I tell you something? You seem too nice to be in this job. I can read people and you’re not like the others I’ve come across through this mess. I hope whoever you go home to protects you and appreciates you. I would not want my girl being around the sorts that must come in this office.” His tone is soothing, sending a warmth throughout my body.

I stare into his eyes, hoping like hell he’s being genuine.

Aiden searches my face. He’s waiting for me to give him something. Some sort of reply that I can’t give. Though, something inside me is urging me to respond. This is the first compliment a man has given me in a long time.

We sit in silence, gazing at each other. I know I must stop this before it goes any further, but I have been lonely lately, and I find comfort in his voice and our conversation.

Holly, stop this now. You’re not a rule breaker.

“Let’s pick this up next time, okay?” I stand to walk Aiden out to the waiting room.

“I can come in on Monday at the same time if you would like?” He asks, a warm smile spreading across his lips.

“That would be fine, Aiden,” I reply, giving him a smile back. “See you then.”

Some odd feeling lingers inside of me as I watch him leave. Almost as though I did not want to see him go.

What are you doing, Holly? God, I hope this is just a game for him because it would be so much easier to not like him. But if he isn’t playing a game, then where can this possibly go? Truthfully, this can’t go anywhere.

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE FOLLOWING MONDAY, about ten minutes before my session with Aiden, my phone rings. Picking it up off my desk, I see on the screen it’s Tom.

That’s odd. Why would he be calling from work right now?

I hesitate as I have a mental debate about whether to answer his call. I’ve been speaking to him again, but only as part of my modified version of the silent treatment. Only when absolutely necessary.

I have remained standoffish and going through the motions pretending to be sweet and happy during whatever party or dinner we’ve attended. But once we’re back at home, I fall back into a combination of silence and small talk.

Tom’s hours have been insanely time consuming, including working at home during the weekends, so it has been easy for us to coexist without having much interaction. I’m waiting for Tom to own up to what he’s done, and I know it must be coming soon because I can see the frustration building in him when I don’t say much. He’s used to me giving in to him first, but I won’t do it this time.

But calling during a workday? I guess I better take his call and make sure everything is okay.

“Yes, Tom?” I ask, answering my phone.

“Hon, I’ve been called away on a business trip as there’s some problem with one of our projects in Sydney and they need me to go and assist right away. I’ll probably be gone for a few days.” His voice cracks as he speaks, making him sound nervous.

Why the nerves? Is he afraid of what I might say Maybe a few days apart would help him miss me? Doesn’t absence make the heart grow fonder? With my luck, he’s probably relieved to have a break from me ruining his drug-induced euphoria.

“What do you want me to say? Don’t go?” My voice exudes sarcasm.

“Um, I don’t know, babe. It would be nice to know you will miss me.”

It’d be nice to know you’d miss me for once.

I’m too angry to question his motives anymore. “Well, I have to get back to work. What time are you flying out?”

“I have a dinner meeting with a client tonight and then Beth and I fly out tomorrow.”

Wait, did he just say what I think he said?

“Did you say you are going with Beth?” I am trying to keep from sounding shrill.

How could he go away with that vixen, knowing how I feel about her?

The fracture in my heart breaks into a crevasse.

Clearing his throat, he says, “Ah, yeah, babe. She’s my boss.”

“I don’t want you going away with that woman.” I fight back tears that threaten to overflow.

“I can’t get out of this.”

“Then quit your job,” I demand.

“I can’t quit.” He sighs before continuing. “Please understand this is not about anything other than work.”

“Yeah, right. Everything with you is about work. What about me? What about us?” Tears roll down my face as the reality of how little I mean to Tom hits me.

Impatient, he says, “Holly, I will not go through this with you right now. Don’t worry. I’ll be going to the office and then straight to my hotel room after. I will not be spending time with Beth outside of work.”

As if Beth, will allow Tom to ignore her. And as if Tom will turn her down and risk sabotaging any of his lofty corporate aspirations, she supposedly has control over.

Frustrated, I answer curtly. “Whatever.” I hang up before he has a chance to reply.

I can’t cry while on the phone with him or he’ll know how much this is hurting me and I don’t want him to have the upper hand in our relationship. It’s bad enough that I’m willing to give in with his taking drugs just to save our marriage.

But I can’t let him get away with fooling around with his boss.

I don’t want my marriage to end, but a person can only take so much. I never knew my heart could hurt like this. Tears run down my face as I give into my worst fears. I admit to myself that Tom is having an affair and my marriage is over.

How can I possibly stay married to someone that I don’t trust? Someone who obviously doesn’t love me enough to think about my feelings.

Lisa notices my tears. “You, okay?”

“No, I’m so sick of Tom and his work always coming before my feelings. I’m so angry at him for the drugs and now he’s pulling this crap that he has to go to Sydney for work, but Beth is going with him. Does he think I’m this daft? I know they must have something going on.” I wipe my eyes and rub my temples as I feel a dull headache coming on.

“Holly, I know it looks bad, but is it possible he isn’t doing anything with Beth? Like, is it possible it is really just work?”

“You’ve not seen how that woman acts around him. If they haven’t done anything, well, I’m sure she will try while they’re away. And like the drugs, Tom will say he gave into her for his career progression. It’s such bullshit. I should matter more. I hate his damn job.” Tears roll down my cheeks.

Lisa walks over to me. She places her hand on my shoulder to comfort me as she speaks with a low, gentle voice. “Really, honey, it’s possible that he hasn’t done anything. Without proof, you don’t know, right? He never played up before in your relationship, has he?”

“Not that I know of.” I wipe the tears off my cheeks. “It’s just this Beth. She has this way that makes me feel so threatened and so second-rate. I know I’m not, but it’s the effect she has on me. And I hate that she thinks it is all right to claw all over Tom every time we see her. It makes me want to rip her fingernails off. And it infuriates me that Tom does nothing to stop her.”

“Oh, honey, a girl like that deserves more than her fingernails ripped off. She sounds like she’s the type of girl that ruins it for all other women.”

“Is it too much to ask that my needs come...” The buzzer interrupts me. It’s Aiden. “Oh, crap! I totally forgot about Aiden. I must look like a total disaster.”

Crap, crap, crap!

I quickly wipe what’s left of my tears and attempt to get myself together for this session. I furiously look for a mirror in my purse to make sure I look acceptable for Aiden.

Lisa grins while pointing her head towards the waiting room and saying, “At least you’ll have that in there to distract you.” She stands up and helps me straighten myself out before I go to get Aiden from the waiting room.

I open the door to escort him to the interview room. “Hello, Aiden. How was your weekend?”

“Hi, Holly. My weekend was good. I was busy with the cattle.” His smile fades as he notices my expression. “You, okay? You look like you’re upset.”

I want to tell him why I’m upset and have a real conversation with this man. But I can’t do it. I cannot break the rules, no matter how much I want to. Even if I find comfort in talking to him. So, I lie to him. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” I wipe under my eyes again to make sure the light swipe of mascara I wear is not dripping down underneath them.

He doesn’t buy my answer. “I’m not stupid, Holly. I can tell you’re upset. I hope whoever is hurting you wakes up to themselves soon.” Aiden reaches across and puts his hand on top of mine.

The electricity of his touch against my skin has caught me off guard. It is as though every cell in my body was just put on point, aching to be explored further by this man. I don’t want him to remove his hand, even though I know it is completely wrong. I want to feel more of his rugged hands against my flesh. I let it linger before I come to my senses and pull my hand away.

He cocks his head to the side and raises one eyebrow. “I wish I could do something to help.”

How do I answer that honestly?

I realise it would not be a good idea to do this meeting right now because I might break all my rules. I enjoy his company a little too much to keep my ethical boundaries today.

He must also realise this is not a good time because he says to me, “Holly, I have to come back into town tomorrow. Would it be better if I see you then? I can tell you’re upset and maybe you need time to yourself right now instead of having to worry about me.”

Is this man really trying to be sensitive to what I need right now instead of worrying about his own needs? Tom never seems to think about what I need.

I gaze at him and speak decisively. “Maybe you’re right. It would be better if we reschedule. As long as that’s okay with you?” I know I need a chance to gather my thoughts and regain my professionalism.

His lips curl into a comforting smile. “Yeah, that’s fine. Like I said, I have to come back tomorrow to pick up some supplies I’m waiting on.” He sits back in his chair, staring at me. “I just wish there was something I could do to take your mind off whatever is bothering you.”

Taken aback and unsure of what to say, I decide to just thank him. “That is kind of you to offer, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

My insides scream at me because they think I should give a different answer. They tell me to say, ‘If you want to help, you could just take me out of here and make me forget that sorry excuse for a husband I have.’

My pulse quickens as I imagine what would have happened if I had answered Aiden differently and took him up on his offer of doing something to make me feel better. The possibilities stir up a sense of enthusiasm and anticipation deep inside me. A sensation I’ve not felt in a really long time.

“I can show myself out, Holly.” Before I can react, he reaches down, touches my wedding ring and says, “He better know how lucky he is and if he doesn’t, then he’s a complete fool.”

I am speechless at this remark and remain seated as he leaves the office.

My head and heart are fighting a battle inside me for what is right and for what is wrong. I’m furious with Tom, yet I’m enamoured with Aiden.

How can I be thinking about an offender when I should be thinking about saving my marriage?

All my sensibilities have been lost, and for the first time in my life, something deep in my psyche is saying this is a good thing.

Follow your heart, Holly.

CHAPTER EIGHT

I’M GENTLY SWAYING on a porch swing, overlooking several well-groomed paddocks. Several cattle are getting fat on the nearby lush grass, while a few cottony clouds fill the sky.

I see a figure galloping fast towards me, leaving a dusty haze behind him. A breeze blows against my skin, giving me temporary relief from the blistering sun that has been baking the surrounding earth.

As this figure moves closer, I recognise the man riding the horse. It is Aiden riding hard and fast in my direction. I get up from the swing to lean against the railing and stare at this man heading towards me.

As he nears the house, I notice he has his shirt off. His firm, tanned muscles ripple and flex against his grip on the reins of the galloping horse. Beads of sweat glisten as they drip down his chiselled chest, leaving trails I would love to outline with my tongue.

My gaze drops to his robust thighs, holding him firmly against the horse. My insides clench as I ache to run my hands against their strength. I imagine those thighs straddling me as he throws me down against the wooden boards of the veranda and kisses me passionately.

The horse comes to a halt as he throws his leg over its back and hops down. He saunters towards the veranda with his dark hair sticking against his sweaty face. Noticing me, he tips his Akubra hat in my direction. As he reaches the steps that lead up to where I am standing, he looks up at me and grins in that wanton way, making me weak at the knees.

My eyes are glued to his body and those dusty jeans, well-worn and tight in all the right places.

Covered in dust from his ride, he walks up the stairs, staring straight at me.

I move from the railing to meet him, my body trembling with each step he takes.

As he stands in front of me, I draw a line with my finger from the nape of his neck down to his sternum, tracing the outline of those bulging muscles. I want to tease this man into submission and make him mine. Wanting to taste where my fingers just were, I lick my lips in desire. “Why don’t you take a shower with me, so I can wash the dust off?”

“I’d love to.” He smiles and kicks off his boots, not caring when one falls down a few steps. Tossing his Akubra onto the swing, he grabs my hand and leads me inside.

An idea crosses my mind. “Wait, let me undress you here on the porch.” I latch my index fingers around the belt loops of his jeans and tug him closer. “I’ve been on my hands and knees cleaning the floors, so I would hate to dirty them up again. I’d much rather be on my knees doing other things.”

He licks his lips, letting his hands rest on my shoulders.

Dropping to my knees, I waste no time in unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. I push them off slowly, exposing first his powerful thighs, then his well-defined calves.

He stands over me, watching my every move as I pull the jeans over his feet and free from his body.

For a moment, I lean back on my knees and look this Adonis up and down, admiring the beauty of the man standing before me. I’m in awe of his muscular physique, and I cannot wait to wash him clean.

Leaning forward, I breathe in his musky smell of sweat and woodsy body wash, lingering from his morning shower. The scent is so intoxicating it causes my body to quiver without even being touched.

Standing up, I lead him into the house, crossing several rooms, until we get to the master bathroom. I reach out and tease him by placing my fingertip just under the waistband of his underwear. I rub my fingers along the top of the elastic, stretching it out gently as I tease. When I see the reaction growing inside, I push his underwear down, letting them fall to the tiled floor.

I run my hands along those powerful thighs and get closer to Aiden’s perfect cock, standing at attention.

He grabs my hands to stop me.

I moan in frustration. I want to touch him and pull his maleness into my mouth, finally tasting him with my tongue.

Pulling me to my feet, he whispers, “Not yet.” Guiding me towards the big mirrors lining the bathroom walls, Aiden pulls me close. He turns me around so that my back is to him, and I am facing the mirror. He moves my hair out of the way and over my shoulder, so he has access to my neck. Leaning in, he kisses where he has just exposed while his arms wrap around and unbutton my shirt.

Reaching behind, I try to grab his hard, hot member pressing against my backside, but he moves away. Once again, I moan at the disappointment of not being allowed to touch him.

“Let me guide you, Holly. I’ll show you what love really is. Let me watch your reflection as I ravage you.” His fingers open the last remaining button on my shirt. Yanking the fabric open, his deft hands gently undo the clasp on my bra. Sliding both my shirt and bra off in one motion, he lets them fall to the ground. His powerful hands cup each of my exposed breasts as he gently massages them, causing my nipples to go taut against his palms.

A whimper escapes me as he teases my flesh, and I melt into his touch.

Watching my face in the reflection in the mirror, he moves one of his hands down my flat stomach, stopping at the top button of my shorts. He undoes this button before pushing my shorts firmly downward, making them pool against the floor.

He smiles before letting his lips press against my neck. His tongue tastes me while he takes his index finger and gently strokes the outside of my lace panties.

A moan escapes me as the anticipation of his touch against my hot flesh sends my insides into overload. I want him so bad that I push my body against his hand, begging for him to move inside, but he won’t give into me yet.

Instead, he moves one hand to my hip to slip off my lace panties. He stops kissing my neck to admire my naked reflection, before taking my hand in his and walking me to the shower. Turning it on, he guides me into the stream of hot water. Pouring body wash onto a sponge, he rubs over my back. Moving to my front, he soaps up my breasts, then props my leg up on the ledge of the back of the shower.

Using the sponge, he washes up my lifted leg but stops right at the top of my thigh as he teases my breasts with his fervent kiss. I whimper, begging for his hands to work my body and finally touch between my legs. But no, he’s one to take things slow, making me wait as he repeats this with my other leg. Once my legs are clean, he guides me backwards to sit against the ledge my leg was just propped up on. He pushes my legs apart so that the stream of shower water washes over me, right across my folds.

Wanting him inside me, I try pulling him closer, as I don’t know how much more I can take. I need him to release the floodgates inside me.

Instead, he gets between my legs with the sponge and lovingly cleans my pussy. After the soap has been washed off, he leans between my legs and spreads my folds apart. Placing his mouth onto my flesh, his tongue explores all of me, causing me to scream out in ecstasy.

Grabbing the back of his head, I pull him further into me. I am close to exploding against his tongue when Aiden backs away from me. I moan out, this time in agony, as I’m ready to come.

Why must he tease me like this?

He gazes at me intensely. “Let me make love to you.”

Breathless, I nod in agreement.

He presses his body firmly against mine as we let the hot water run across our flesh. The strength of those firm muscles presses hard against my skin, overwhelming me with how sexy this man is.

I collapse and melt into him as his maleness presses against my entrance. He lifts one of my legs and holds it against his hip as the tip of his swollen cock pushes into me slowly.

I arch my back to take...

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

For a moment, I don’t register where I am. When I do, my body splinters with disappointment. I realise I’m lying in my cold bed next to Tom, my alarm blasting through the room.

I wonder if I will ever have that sort of heat again in my life.

I lie there thinking how it feels like so long ago when Tom would drop everything to care about my satisfaction and take me like Aiden did in my dream. Somehow, Tom’s passion for his job replaced his passion for me.

I sigh at how depressing my this is. But then I remember what Lisa said the other day. She had said something about how fantasies can be a catalyst for hotter sex.

I wonder if that actually works.

I look over at Tom, seeing his body eclipsed by a greyish hue as the city lights shine through the gaps of our Venetian blinds. I gently shake him, hoping to wake him. My insides are craving the feeling of a man’s body pressed hard against my flesh. I need to release the heat built up inside me from that dream.

I’m still mad at Tom, but I can forget that for a moment of my own satisfaction, right?

He’s not waking up easily, so I wrap my arm around him and place my hand over his shaft. I massage it gently, hoping that as his cock awakens, Tom will be roused as well. My lips find the back of Tom’s neck and I increase the intensity of my hand against his cock.

Surely every man loves being woken up this way.

Tom stirs from his slumber. To my disappointment, he pushes me off of him. “Babe, not now. I need to sleep. I didn’t get back until late last night and my flight to Sydney is in a few hours.”

WTF? What guy turns down morning sex?

Deflated, I get up to go make coffee. As I lean against the marble benchtop, I sip my coffee, thinking of how I will see Aiden in a few hours.

I bet he wouldn’t turn down morning sex!

I realise I need to get rid of this pent-up sexual energy before going to work, or I may never get through my meeting with Aiden. Thinking I should go for a run, I glance at the clock and realise I just do not have enough time. I guess a cold shower will be the only way to cool down the heat that has built inside me.

Urgh! How frustrating!

When I finish my shower, I walk towards the mirror to brush my hair. Looking at my reflection, I contemplate making myself up a little more than usual today. Normally, I shy away from doing this on a workday for fearing of drawing attention from the wrong person.

Maybe doing it this once will be okay. Aiden might not even notice, but it can’t hurt to try, right?

My insides clench tight as I think about how in a few hours I’ll be sitting across from Aiden, a man I was dreaming about having sex with.

How will I ever look Aiden in the eyes and keep a straight face?

I leave for work without waking Tom or even saying goodbye.

Oh, well!

CHAPTER NINE

WHEN I WALK INTO THE office, Lisa looks me up and down. Her lips curl into a knowing smile. “Look who’s dressed up today? Any particular reason?”

I lie to her, though we both know the truth. “No reason. Just thought I’d make an effort to feel a bit better about myself.”

“Oh, darling. You’ve got it bad. What time does he come in today?”

“About two o’clock.” We both grin at each other and burst out laughing like a pair of teenagers.

While I’m reading my emails, she says, “It makes the job much easier when they are nice to look at, doesn’t it?”

“It sure does, Lisa.”

“I always wonder if they ever notice us back?”

“Who knows what a man notices?” I joke as my mobile phone rings.

Picking it up, I sigh when I see it is Tom. My finger hovers over the screen as I debate whether to answer. I’ve still been lingering in that grey area between anger and trying to salvage my marriage. The ‘save your marriage’ part of my head wins, so I take his call. “Yes, Tom?”

“Babe, I was wondering what time you think you will be home tonight?”

“I’m not sure. Depends on how the afternoon goes. Aren’t you off to Sydney now?”

“No, uh, my trip was postponed, so I thought maybe we could go to dinner.” His voice was shaking with tension. “I know things have not been great, so I, uh, thought I could take you out, and we can talk.”

I’m surprised by his gesture. “Oh, okay. Well, I’ll make sure I leave on time then. Where do you want to go?”

“How about that little Italian place on Caxton Street?”

Is Tom trying to be thoughtful? That’s my favourite restaurant.

I’m not sure if I should be happy or concerned. Hearing a phone ringing in the background, Tom says, “I have to go. Talk later?”

“All right.” I hang up, still in disbelief that he’s asked. Turning to Lisa, I say, “Well, that was odd. Tom’s trip was postponed, and he wants to take me to dinner tonight.”

“Sounds like he wants to apologise.”

Furrowing my brow, I say, “I don’t know. Tom hasn’t been one to apologise in a long time.”

TWO O’CLOCK FINALLY rolls around. Like usual, Aiden is on time and looking as hot as ever in a pale-yellow t-shirt and jeans. I walk into the waiting room to greet him. My cheeks are already blushing because I keep picturing my dream from last night.

If he only knew what was going through my mind.

“Hello, Aiden. How are you?”

With his Akubra hat in his hand, he says, “Hi, Holly, I’m doing well. I had a morning of hard yakka with the cattle.” He pauses and with a grin, teases, “Oh wait, you might not know that yakka means work, being American and all.”

I shake my head and laugh at him. “I know what yakka is. I’ve been here a little longer than you think.” We sit down to get the questions underway. “Aiden, I want to apologise that I was a bit distracted yesterday.”

“No worries. It’s not a problem. Did you get things sorted at home?” He leans closer towards me as he speaks.

Hmm, I can smell his cologne and listen to that sultry voice of his all day long.

I try hard to maintain my composure though it’s almost impossible as images of me being with him in a hot shower keep flashing through my mind. Shaking my head, as if I am shaking away the thought, my voice cracks as I speak. “I’m fine, but I need to focus only on you today, not me. All right?” I fear if I let him get any closer, I will open up and break every single rule I’ve ever had for this job.

“I understand, but I want to know you more, too.” His smile makes me quiver inside.

“Aiden, we can’t do that here.” But could we do it someplace else?

Shaking his hands out in front of him as if to admit defeat, he says, “I get it, you have to follow all types of rules and everything. I don’t want to get you in any trouble. Though I have to say, you look beautiful today, even though I thought you were before you were dressed up and all.”

Oh, my God! He noticed!

My face must be redder than I could possibly imagine as my cheeks feel on fire. He just called me beautiful, and he thought this before I wore a little more makeup and a dress.

“Am I being too forward?” Aiden leans back in his chair, not taking his gaze off me.

I bite my lip. “No, you’re not. I appreciate what you’re saying, but let’s focus on the work we have to do for you.”

“All right, but I would love to know if that man of yours is the reason you were upset.”

“I can’t answer that, Aiden.”

He again raises his hands in the air. “Okay, I give up. I’ll do what you want me to do.”

He rests his hands on his thighs, drawing my attention to the hard muscles I dreamt about touching last night.

An image of him in the shower from my dream flashes before my eyes. Oh, how I would love to live out that dream. I hope he can’t read my mind. Or perhaps I want him to know my thoughts.

Clearing my throat, I try to regain my focus. “Aiden, today, I have to ask you about your relationships with family and others around you. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“Brothers. I’m the youngest. My older brothers already work in the family business. One is married, and the other is a bit of a playboy.”

“The other day, you said your family business is quite large. What do you mean by that?”

“My parents inherited two beef cattle properties. They built the company up by buying more land after they got married. They’re in the process of buying a fourth property they thought I could manage as well. Maybe it will make my dad proud if I do.” Aiden stops talking and stares out the window. “I once hated the idea of doing anything my father approved of, but prison changed that. It made me realise I missed being on the land and that my dad just wants what’s best for his sons.”

“Do you want your father’s approval?”

Aiden looks away out the window again and sighs. “I’ve always felt like a disappointment. It’s hard when you have perfect brothers that do no wrong.” He’s quiet for a moment, as if he’s shaking off some negative feelings. “I thought about this a lot the last few years. I’ve been talking with my dad and he’s willing to give me a second chance.” Aiden looks back at me and smiles. “I’m quite the prodigal son, aren’t I?”

Nodding my head and smiling, I move on to the next question. “What is your relationship with your mother like?”

“We get along fine. We’ve always been close.”

“Was there ever any domestic violence, alcohol or drug use in your home when you were growing up?”

“No. My parents argued, but my dad never hit her or anything.” He shifts in his seat as he sits upright, resting his arms against the table.

“Was there any yelling at you and your brothers?”

“You know, three boys on a property can get up to all kinds of mischief. I think I behaved the worst, but since I was the youngest, I got away with it. It changed when I was a teenager, though. I started being the one always in trouble.”

“Did you and your brothers ever get overly physical with fighting?”

“Boys will be boys, you know. A few dustups, but nothing bad.”

“I guess cowboys will be cowboys, right?”

He shakes his head and smiles. “Ah, Holly out here in Australia we call ourselves stockman.”

Is he mocking me?

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you,” I reply just as playfully, but I also try to conceal feeling stupid for making an innocent mistake with terminology.

He leans closer and grins. “You didn’t offend me. It’s just I prefer stockman over cowboy, but if you want me to be a cowboy for you, I think I can handle that.”

I think my insides just got a few degrees hotter. Whether Aiden is a cowboy or stockman does not matter because either way, he’s a stud and I’d love to ride him.

Trying to distract my carnal thoughts, I move on to a new question. “Did you have any violent issues in jail where anyone hurt you or you hurt anyone?”

“No. I kept to myself and spent most of my time either in the gym or in my cell. I just wanted to do my time and get it over with. I thought it best to keep away from anything that might wind up adding time to my sentence.”

“There were no issues at all?”

Sighing, Aiden pauses for a moment. “Well, there was one time when I first went in where I had to defend myself. You know, prove my strength to the guys already in. It was out of sight, so it won’t be on my file.”

I lean against the table and look into his eyes. “I hear things like that, so I’m not surprised. Was it just that one time?”

“It’s like a wolf pack in there. If you act like a lamb once, you’ll be slaughtered. I made sure they knew I wouldn’t take part in their games. I broke the other guy’s jaw so after that incident, they left me alone.”

Hmm, there weren’t any notes in his file about this.

“The guy didn’t retaliate?”

“No, I don’t think he was that well liked to begin with. After a while, I relaxed and stopped feeling like anyone was going to cross me.”

Moving on to the next set of questions, my body tenses. “I know your file said you weren’t married, but do you have a girlfriend or partner?” I hold my breath, waiting for the answer, hoping he isn’t already attached to someone.

“No, but I am looking for someone special to have with me on the property.” Aiden stares longingly into my eyes.

Why must he give me that look? It makes me feel as though I’m hot enough to melt.

“Have you ever bullied anyone or felt bullied by anyone?”

“No.” I’m watching Aiden’s face carefully as he responds to my questions, but he speaks with certainty and no hesitation. There are also no red flags in his answers or facial expressions. Nothing that says trouble. This is quite unusual for someone that winds up in my office.

What could have happened to this man for him to think something criminal is okay?

I have my mental fingers crossed that when I get the court transcripts and full police records, they match up with what he’s saying. Too many times we uncover their lies about their past, but I’m hoping Aiden is being honest.

“Aiden, we seem to be getting through these questions quicker than I normally do, so we can stop now if you want. Or we can keep going through them, so you don’t have to come back so soon.”

“We can stop and save some for next time.” He flashes me a smile that causes my insides to quiver. “I like having to come and see you.”

I’d love to tell you that I like seeing you, too.

“How are you coping with being on the outside? Is there anything you want from me, ahh, I mean anything you want us to help with?” I am glowing with embarrassment from my Freudian slip.

He smiles at me in a suggestive way.

My face must be redder than red.

He reaches over and strokes his index finger against my forearm. “I’m sure there’s something I want from you, but I know you can’t right now.”

My heart skips a beat.

Holly, you can’t seriously think this is okay?

Knowing I must follow protocol, I suggest, “I don’t see any pressing issues that need to be sorted and you seem to be doing well. How about you come by in a week?”

“I’ll be in town on Friday. I’m happy to stop by then if you want.”

I bite my lip. “We don’t do any appointments on Fridays.” I would love to break the rules, so I can stare at his amazing body, but I can’t abuse the position I’m in. Or can I?

Aiden’s shoulders drop, and he seems disappointed.

I hand him a slip with an appointment for the same time in the following week. Looking into his eyes, I speak slowly. “If you have any issues or need anything, please call me.”

“I will do.” He picks up his Akubra hat, and as he passes me to leave the office, he brushes one of his large, solid hands up against my arm deliberately as if he wants to take hold of it.

Oh, how I would love for him to grab my arm and run those strong hands up and down my body. I want to feel his touch in reality, not just in my dreams.

I wish I was meeting this man under different circumstances. There is something electric and exciting about him. Watching him leave, I wish I could come up with some legitimate reason for him to come to my office every day.

CHAPTER TEN

WALKING INTO OUR APARTMENT, I see Tom waiting with a glass of wine in his hand. Smiling, he stretches out his arm to offer me a glass. “How was your day?”

Did Tom just ask me about my day?

Normally, he comes home, and either goes straight back to doing work or goes to sleep.

Did aliens take over this man and turn him back into someone that notices me?

Unsure of how to react, I hesitate before speaking. “Good, I guess.” I sip the wine, recognising it as one of our favourite reds, a vintage Penfolds’s Reserve. Wondering why a special bottle has been opened, I question, “What’s the special occasion?”

“Well, babe, I was going to wait until dinner to tell you, but I’m just too excited.” Tom beams a smile I have not seen in a long time. It’s big enough to be disconcerting.

“Well?” I take another sip from my glass, preparing myself for what news he’s about to tell.

“I was told that I’m the front-runner for a promotion that hasn’t even been announced yet. It means more money and moving back to Melbourne.” I haven’t seen him grin this big since graduation.

I try to show some excitement. “Tom, that’s great.” My insides are telling me something doesn’t seem right. Or maybe it is the idea of leaving Aiden?

Furrowing his brow, Tom replies, “Why do I feel like you are not happy about this? Isn’t this what we were working for?”

It was what you were working for, Tom, not me. Who knows what I’m working for anymore.

I turn my back to him, as I cannot look him in the face. I know I’m meant to be happy for him and yes, this is what we were working for. “Yes, this is what we wanted. Tom, I’m happy for you.”

“Hon, you should be more than happy. The money alone is worth getting excited over.”

I exhale and stare into my glass. “Tom, it’s just things have been so hard between us and I’m not sure where I fit in your life anymore.”

Moving towards me, he lifts my chin to meet his eyes. “I know things have been tough. But I think this will get us on track. I only want what is best for us, all right?”

I nod and sip my wine.

Tom grabs the bottle to refill my glass. “Now, there’s just one thing I have to do to lock this down. The partners have said it’s a bit of a formality before they announce my promotion.”

“Well, what is it?” I ask anxiously as he refills my glass.

With his back still turned away from me, he clears his throat as he speaks. “I have to go with the partners to Singapore for a few weeks, maybe a month. I leave immediately.”

Time stops for a moment as my heart implodes. “What the fuck, Tom? Was the invite to dinner just a ploy to make me feel good before dropping this on me? Do you enjoy building me up, only to tear me down?”

Tom’s smile fades. “Why must you get upset over this? It’s business. It’s what you do in this world to get ahead. You saw this with your own father, so why are you giving me grief?”

“But for a few weeks, or possibly a month? And telling me now when you’re leaving right away?” Tears build in my eyes, but I can’t let myself cry in front of him.

I have shed enough tears over you lately and you don’t deserve any of them.

Guiltily, he says, “Beth only asked me officially this morning.”

“What do you mean Beth asked officially? You mean you knew it was a possibility before today?” I put my wineglass down and rub at my temples. As much as I try to hold back, I raise my voice. “So, you knew it could happen and yet didn’t have the decency to tell me. And you think I’m going to be okay with you going away for a month with that woman?”

“You really need to stop with this Beth stuff. It’s sending me over the edge. And why should I stress you out about me going away when it wasn’t definite until a few hours ago?”

I take my hands off my temples to unmask the resentment in my eyes. “I’ve heard that excuse before and you know what? It’s still bullshit. Is it too much to ask that you factor me into your decisions?”

Hold back those tears, Holly!

“I do all of this for you.” He says as he motions around the room. “You need to just deal with it. I’m sure there are plenty of women who would be happy to replace you.”

Indignant, I find the strength to reply coolly, “You know, Tom. Maybe some time apart would be good for us.”

Tom’s eyes widen as a shocked expression spreads across his face. “It’s just work. I don’t want time away from you. You’re my wife.”

From somewhere deep inside, my honest feelings bubble to the surface, finally breaking through. “You’ve hardly noticed me the last few months, so I have a hard time believing time away from me is any kind of sacrifice for you. I mean, seriously, Tom. Nowadays, you hold your phone more than you hold my hand.”

His face looks sullen as he cowers back from my statement.

The frustration has peaked inside me. I pick up my glass and finish what is left. As I put my glass down, I look at his shocked face still staring at me, not saying a word. “You know what, Tom, forget dinner. I’m not hungry. I need some time to think.”

“Holly, please don’t do this. Give it a chance. I love you.”

“Well, you have a funny way of showing it, mate.” I grab my keys and walk out the front door.

AFTER WALKING THE DARK streets for hours, I return to our apartment. His packed suitcase waits near the door.

He’s really going to leave.

Tom is already asleep, an empty wine bottle snuggling next to him where I should be. Crumbled tissues lie close by on the floor. His eyes are puffy as though he has been crying, but I cannot be sure.

I sit on the bed and watch him for a few minutes.

I do love this man, but how can I stay with someone who doesn’t consider my feelings? Is this desperate compromise what marriage is all about? Can we ever go back to what was once between us?

After showering, I crawl into bed next to him. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close, wondering if this is the last time I will hold him.

Have I lost him forever or has he lost me?

WHEN I WAKE, I FIND Tom is gone.

He left without saying goodbye. He didn’t even bother to leave me a note.

To keep my emotions at bay, I dress and make myself a coffee. As I take a sip, I look towards the door where his suitcase stood just a few hours before. A dull headache throbs behind my temples while a crushing weight sits on my chest.

In my car, on the way to work, I imagine what the next few weeks will be like without Tom being home. This will be the first time we’ve been separated for more than a few days since we got married.

Maybe it will give me some time to work out what I want from this marriage. Maybe a move back to Melbourne will be good. It’s what I wanted, right?

Finally hitting the long stretch of highway outside Brisbane, the traffic slows me down.

Damn cattle trucks making me late again!

As I get into my office, I hear the phone ringing. Lisa hasn’t arrived yet. I grit my teeth, realising the day is not starting off well.

I pick up the phone and find it’s Aiden. “Holly, I’m sorry to bother you, but, umm, my parents asked me to take over their new property. They want me to get it up and running right away.”

“Wow, Aiden, that’s great news.”

“Yeah, uh, I’m pretty excited about it. The only thing is that, uh, I’ll need to move.”

My heart twinges.

Why are the men I care about all leaving me? More importantly, why is Aiden’s news more distressing than that of Tom’s departure?

“Oh.” My dull response reveals my disappointment. “Well, if you give me the new address, I’ll get the approval done and transfer you out to an officer closer to your new home.”

Aiden gives me the details, thanks me and says he looks forward to seeing me at our next meeting. I look down at the address and realise the area is unfamiliar. Even after living in Australia all these years, I’m amazed by how big this country is and how little I know of it.

As the address fixes my attention, Lisa walks in. “Hey, hon.” Noticing I don’t reply, she asks insightfully, “Darling, did that man of yours let you down again?”

“No, no, it’s not exactly Tom.” I’m afraid to tell her what is really bothering me, but after a few minutes, I decide to. “Actually, it’s about Aiden. His parents want him to take over running one of their other properties and he needs to be transferred.” Disappointment weighs heavy in my sigh. “I don’t know why but it’s made me a little sad.”

Lisa smiles sympathetically. “It’s hard when we finally have someone easy on the eye in this office and then they go and move. So, typical of a man to leave.” She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

I guess she has been through this disappointment before.

I sigh and throw myself back into my unfinished pile of paperwork because I don’t want Lisa to realise how deeply the news of Aiden’s move affects me. I also want to avoid talking about what’s going on at home with Tom.

A few hours later, a big box of long-stemmed red roses arrives in our office. The unsigned card simply says, ‘You own my heart. Give me a chance.’

I know it’s from Tom, though he hasn’t given me flowers in years.

Lisa interposes my thought, “What if they aren’t from Tom?”

Frowning, I insist almost too emphatically, “Of course, they’re from him. Who else would send me flowers?”

As if some parolee is going to send me flowers and proclaim his love when he hardly knows me.

With a Cheshire cat grin, Lisa remarks, “Honey, you never know.”

They have to be from Tom. How could they possibly be from anyone but Tom?

As much as I don’t want to admit it, the possibility of the roses coming from Aiden gives me butterflies. Then, I remember he’s moving and the ache in my heart returns.

I cannot believe I’m attracted to a parolee. Maybe it’s a good thing Aiden is leaving. Only trouble could come of the situation if I acted on my feelings.

I’ve got to get a grip.

Lisa interrupts my self-incrimination, “You know you could always slip him your phone number. No one will ever know. And if he’s keen on you, I’m sure he will call.” I raise my eyebrows in mock protest, before she adds, “Besides, you won’t be his parole officer anymore.”

“Oh, Lisa, I could never do that.”

Or could I?

MY LAST MEETING WITH Aiden is today. Approval of his transfer arrived within days of his call. Looking at the approval letter, I sigh in resignation that at least now my silly infatuation will end. I try to convince myself it’s for the best.

As usual, Aiden is right on time and looking as fit as ever. I get up to answer the buzzing intercom as Lisa grins at me. “Are you going to slip him your number?”

“No, I can’t. It’d be wrong to do it. As much as I’d like to, I can’t break rules, no matter how hot this guy may be. I don’t want to lose my job.”

Lisa does not detect my white lie. I hardly slept last night, and despite what I knew to be best, I admitted to myself how much I want to give Aiden my number. This morning I'd prepared a note with my private number, and buried it in my pocket, ready to slip to Aiden at some fortunate moment.

I greet him with a warm smile. “Hi, Aiden, how are you?”

“Hi, Holly, I’m doing well.” He holds his Akubra hat in his hand and gazes intently at me.

“Come in. I just got the notice that your move was approved. You can go immediately. Once you go, you’ll need to report to the senior officer at the Western Downs Regional Office.” I hand him the address of the regional office and my heart skips a beat.

What about the other bit of paper in my pocket? Shall I give him that now, too?

He takes the paper and stares at it in his hand. “Thanks for helping me the last few weeks.”

Aiden looks despondent. I wish I had the reckless courage to give him the bit of paper in my pocket.

“No worries.” My voice cracks as I watch Aiden fumble with the brim of his hat. “Are you okay?”

“I was thinking that I’ll miss seeing you.” He looks into my eyes with longing.

Words escape me. I look at him and touch the paper in my pocket. Giving him this paper breaches not only the promise of my marriage, but my professional ethics. Yet, I don’t want whatever this is to end with this man sitting in front of me.

Holly, what should you do?

I must break this awkward silence. “I’m sure everything will be fine with your new officer.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He looks up at me with a yearning in his eyes that I’ve never seen before.

I want to sound upbeat and professional, but my insides are screaming out to Aiden, “Don’t go.” My stomach knots as I say, “I’m sure the new property will keep you busy, which is a good thing. Keeping busy keeps us out of trouble.” As I continue to speak, my voice cracks again, “Is there anything else I need to note on your file for today?”

“No, everything’s good. You’re right about the work needed at the new property, but...  uh...” Aiden doesn’t finish. His expression is flat, as though he’s nervous.

I watch as he thumbs his Akubra hat with those strong fingers of his, playing with a loose thread while shifting in his chair.

After a few seconds, I fill the silence. “Well, I have to say again, Aiden, I think you’ll be fine, and I wish you all the best with everything.” I have to get out of this room because I can’t handle this anymore.

The air is heavy, and my breathing is strained as I get up to lead him to the door. I still have a chance to give him my number.

He gets up, too, hesitating in his walk to the door.

Is he also sad to say goodbye? Or has my desperation to be noticed caused me to misread his intent? I don’t want to risk my job if I have misread his interest in me. Maybe he doesn’t like me. Oh, God, what to do?

At the door, Aiden turns to me and offers his hand to shake. Normally, because of rules, I wouldn’t reciprocate, but I want to hold this man’s hand. It may be the last chance I have to feel that electricity between us. This is the moment to give him the paper if I’m going to do it.

I look him straight in the eyes, while holding his hand, willing myself to say goodbye and wish him luck. Our eyes lock, and I know there is something between us, but I’m worried I’ve exaggerated this whole thing.

Could it be possible I have created this fantasy because I have been feeling so alone?

After a moment, our hands break free, and he turns to leave. “Ah, Aiden,” I delay things once again as my hand grips the paper in my pocket tightly.

He turns. “Yeah, Holly?”

“Hopefully, I see you again.”

He nods, “That’d be nice.” Staring at the ground, he turns and walks away.

I swallow the lump in my throat. The paper with my number remains crumpled in my pocket, moist from my nervous hand. I couldn’t do it. My heart shatters with the realisation that I must let him go.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

A FEW DAYS PASS AND everything goes back to being mundane at work. It was nice to have that temporary distraction called Aiden, but now it’s over. It was just some momentary excitement in my otherwise boring, lonely life.

You must forget him, Holly.

Another reporting day has come around and, as usual, I get stuck behind another cattle truck. Thank goodness Lisa has a coffee waiting for me when I walk through the door.

Halfway through the morning, Rex, one of my probationers, busts through the waiting room door and slams his fist against the buzzer.

Lisa, alarmed, says, “Uh oh, looks like a live one.”

I go to the security screen and we both observe Rex pacing around the room. “He must be having another episode. Wonder what he took this time?”

Lisa suggests, “Should we call for some help?”

“Let me get him in the room and see how bad it is.” I watch the screen intently for a few moments with my hand resting against my chin. “Seeing him walk around like that, I’m thinking we’ll need to get him to the hospital. Hopefully, he’ll go voluntarily.”

While immediately dialling, Lisa announces, “I’ll alert the ambulance, so they’re ready if we need them.”

“Stand by the door and keep an eye out in case he escalates.” Keeping the phone in her hand, Lisa springs to her feet to watch through the interview room window.

I take a deep breath to compose myself before opening the door. I lower my chin and say, “Hi, Rex. You, okay?”

“No, man. They’re after me. I can’t stop them.” He says as he heads into the interview room.

My nose is assaulted by the stench of stale beer, cheap spray deodorant and sweat as he passes by me. I try to keep from noticeably recoiling away from him.

He slumps into the chair across from me. He looks as though he has neither showered nor eaten in days. With a soft voice, I ask, “What’s going on?”

“They’re after me. But I’m gonna get them first, I tell you.”

“Who’s after you?”

Slurring his words as he speaks a mile a minute. “That bloke that knocked my girl up. I’m gonna get ‘em.” His expression goes from anger to a smile. “Did I tell you we’re gettin’ married? I saw her this mornin’ and we’re gonna run off and live out in the bush.”

“That’s good. Are you feeling all right, Rex? Maybe you need some sleep?”

His expression goes dark. “No, no, I’m not good. I gotta get that guy.”

Calmly, I ask, “What guy?”

“The one that’s got my girl. I gotta kill ‘em before he kills me.” As he speaks, his eyes track something invisible around the room.

He mumbles a few things under his breath that I can’t understand. He then puts his head in his hands and sobs uncontrollably.

“How about I get you some help so that guy can’t hurt you?”

Still murmuring incoherently, he mumbles what I think is, “No police, I need sleep.”

Attempting to get his attention, “Rex, I’m going to get the ambulance to take you to the hospital where you can get some sleep, okay?”

Still murmuring to himself, he nods in agreement.

I motion to Lisa to go ahead and have the paramedics come.

Without warning, Rex’s expression change to one of fury. He grabs me by the hand and yanks me close. He tries to bend my arm behind my back.

Gasping, I’m overcome by his stench and can’t breathe. I try to wrestle away from him, but he’s too strong.

Lisa storms into the office to assist me with this escalating situation.

He continues squeezing my hand as he speaks incoherently about some monsters trying to kill him.

I command with a composed voice, “Rex, please let go of my hand.”

He loosens his grip but does not let my hand go. He looks at me with tears in his eyes and begs. “Please help me. I gotta get ‘em before they get her.”

“We’re getting you help.”

Rex’s crying gets louder, but he continues to grip my hand.

We hear the paramedics come into the waiting room, but given it is the parole office, the police come in as well.

Rex yells out, “You bitch. You called the cops. I trusted you.”

“Rex, they’ve only come because this is the parole office. You’re not under arrest. They will just escort the ambulance to the hospital.” I attempt to calm him down, but he continues to scream expletives.

The paramedics attempt to intervene, and after a few minutes convince Rex to leave with them. As he’s taken out on a stretcher, he screams out, “I’m gonna get you, bitch. No one messes with me.”

My hands are trembling, and my heart is beating through my chest from the adrenaline coursing through my body. I know this is one danger of this job, but sometimes it can rattle even the toughest of officers.

Thankfully, I have Lisa to help me calm down before my next meeting. We go out and have a cigarette break even though our waiting room is filling with probationers and parolees waiting to be seen. Somehow, I muster up all my energy to get through the rest of the day.

At about quarter to five, before I leave the office, I get a call from an Officer Mahoney, one of the police officers that assisted this morning. He calls to let me know that Rex agreed to stay in the hospital overnight for observation to avoid new charges.

When I finally get home, I take a long, hot shower to wash away the day. As the water runs down my skin, I can’t help but think of Tom. Tears fall down my face while I think about how I miss him and the days when things were simple.

Why did he choose to go overseas instead of being here with me? My husband should be here, making me feel safe. Making me feel protected.

I try to call his mobile phone, but there’s no answer.

Opening a bottle of wine, I sit on the couch, hoping a glass will wash away the memory of not being able to free myself from Rex’s grip. Curling up in a soft white blanket, I try to call Tom once again.

Why are you not answering?

The memory of Aiden saying how I should be protected by my man flashes through my mind.

What would Aiden say about what happened today? Why didn’t I give him my number? I bet if I called him, he would answer.

THE NEXT MORNING, I get a notice that two of my offenders have new charges. One of them is for Rex. He obviously checked himself out of the hospital against medical advice, not caring they would charge him with a new offence. I sigh, thinking about the mountain of paperwork I need to complete to take him back to court.

“Never a dull day, Lisa?” I roll my eyes.

“Not in this job, honey.”

A few hours later, when I see that I’m getting nowhere fast with my work, I decide to take a break. “I’m going to go for a walk to clear my head and get a coffee. Would you like one?”

“You know me, I’ll never turn down a coffee.”

I go to grab my wallet out of my purse and realise I’ve left it in my car. “I shouldn’t be too long.”

“Sure thing, hon. Take as much time as you need.”

As I get to the parking lot and closer to my car, I can’t help by notice how it looks so insignificant against all the trucks, utes and four-wheel-drives.

Maybe it is time to upgrade the size of my car from city-size to country-size, so I fit in better while working out here.

I look in my car window and see my wallet sitting out in the open on the seat.

How could I be so stupid to leave it out like that?

As I bend down to grab it, someone pushes me forward, hard enough to make me fall onto my car seat. Before I can react, a body presses against mine and a hand is placed over my mouth. Some sort of cloth hood is pulled over my head, rendering me blind to my surroundings.

My heart is pounding, and I cannot catch my breath. Terror is coursing through my veins as my brain tries to make sense of this situation.

A quiet voice next to my ear commands, “Don’t make a sound. Don’t struggle. I don’t want to hurt you.”

My arms are twisted behind my back, and my hands are bound with what feels like tape.

Whose voice is that? What do they want with me?

Frozen with fear, I try to scream but can’t. I desperately try to remember what they told us in training if something like this happens. But I cannot recall anything other than to stay calm.

Were they kidding? Stay calm. How is that even possible?

I hear a door open behind me. I’m lifted by brawny arms and placed down on what I think is the backseat. My feet are then bound, and a blanket is put on top of me.

The vehicle rocks as the door near my feet is slammed shut.

I struggle to breathe. All I can hear is the thump of my heart almost beating out of my chest.

The driver’s side door open and someone gets in. The door shuts, and the ignition is turned on. Within moments, the vehicle drives off, taking me with it.

Where am I being taken?

The driver doesn’t seem to drive in a hurry.

Remembering from training that I need to listen, I focus on every sound. I need to try to work out how many people are around and what direction we are heading.

The vehicle has made several turns. Right, then left, then left, then right, then another left. I’m quickly losing track as to what direction we are headed.

Is there anything else I can hear, smell, touch? Any detail at all?

After what seems like an eternity, I hear him whisper, “Don’t be scared. I’m not going to hurt you. We have a long drive, so try to relax.” That voice. It sounds familiar.

He says he’s not going to hurt me, but I’m not relieved.

I have to find a way to escape or alert another car on the road. I try to adjust my hands, but my wrists are bound too tight. Trying the same with my feet, I cannot move them either.

Think, Holly! Wait a second, did he just say a long drive?

I finally muster some courage to speak. “Who are you?”

He doesn’t answer.

“Where are you taking me?” I plead.

Still no answer.

“Why are you doing this?” My voice cracks from a combination of stress and fear.

Still no answer.

My body shudders as I accept the predicament I’m in. I’m too scared to talk or even cry.

Who has taken me? Why are they doing this? How long will it be before someone realises that I am gone? Tom is overseas. How will he even find out? Will anyone care that I’m missing?

Shock is making me dizzy, so to stay alert I run through the list of offenders I’ve recently sent back to jail or given new charges to. I come up with a short list and it scares me to think my kidnapper is any one of them. I know too much of what they are capable of.

Beads of sweat form on the back of my neck. My heart beats faster with every second the vehicle moves further away. Beyond frightened of what this person may do to me, all I can do is pray for strength and that whoever this is comes to their senses without hurting me.

Maybe I can negotiate with them?

After what feels like an eternity, a single tear falls down my cheek and I drift off to sleep.

FEELING GROGGY, I WAKE and try to stretch my body, but it quickly registers that I can’t. I remember that this isn’t a nightmare. I’ve been kidnapped. My pulse quickens as fear overtakes my thoughts.

I do not know how much time has passed or where we are headed. Again, I try to struggle as my wrists are hurting and I notice my throat is parched.

I speak out in a raspy voice, “Please, whoever you are, tell me what you are doing with me. My wrists are hurting. Can you please loosen them?”

I hear that familiar voice whisper, “Don’t be scared. I promise I’m not going to hurt you.”

Finally, the truck slows to a stop, and I hear the engine turn off.

Adrenaline is rushing through me as I work out a plan to either fight or flight.

Holly, wake up. Be alert. Be ready to fight this man to protect yourself. Be ready to run.

I hear the driver open his door to get out and then he opens the back door next to my head. Broad-shouldered arms gently wrap around me and lift me into a sitting position.

I feel sick, like I might throw up.

He whispers close to my ear, “I’m going to remove the hood. There’s no point in screaming, as no one will hear you. We’re too far away from anything, so you can’t run. I promise I will not hurt you. Do you think you can stay calm?”

“Yeah,” I say, though it struggles to come out because I cannot catch my breath. My body trembles from my nerves being coiled so tightly. A sob escapes my lips as I’m overcome with dread at who may be on the other side of this hood.

The hood is pulled off my head.

I blink as my eyes adjust to the bright light. Gasping, I immediately feel faint when I see who my captor is.

How can it be?

CHAPTER TWELVE

AIDEN IS STARING AT me, his eyes pleading with me to understand. “Holly, please don’t be upset. I couldn’t figure out any other way to be with you. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

How could Aiden be the one to kidnap me?

I’m not sure whether to be angry or relieved because it’s Aiden who has taken me and not some other crazed, drug affected offender.

He lifts a bottle of water to my lips, pleading with me. “Please drink.”

I take a few sips. My throat finally feels relief, but I’m still too afraid to talk.

Is this what shock is?

As he again tilts the bottle to my lips, a drop escapes and drips down my chin. Aiden takes his thumb and gently wipes it away. Looking straight into my eyes, he says, “Holly, I won’t hurt you or make you do anything you don’t want to do. I promise. I just want some time with you.” He looks at me as if he is searching for some acknowledgement that I believe him. But right now, I’m not sure what to think.

“Are you hungry?”

I shake my head as the words fail to cross my lips.

Concern flashes across his face. “You must eat, Holly.”

I watch as those strong, dextrous hands peel an orange.

He places a slice against my lips, and I bite into it, finding the ensuring sweetness almost satisfying.

I scrutinise his every move as he carefully feeds me half of the orange and eats the other half himself. I do not see any hesitation or menace in his body language.

After we finish the orange, he pulls out some cut up salami and cheese and feeds this to me as well.

How much planning did he put into this?

“I guess this would go nicely with some wine under different circumstances.” He makes a joke, but I’m too shocked to react with anything other than a blank stare.

How is it my captor is someone I was already dreaming of being with?

I’m so confused and don’t know what to think.

“To show you I mean you no harm, I’ll free your hands. We’re too far for you to run anywhere and it’s getting late. The sun is already starting to set.”

As he holds my bound wrists, he continues talking. “I promise to keep you safe and treat you well. I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m taking you. I just would like you to spend some time with me on my property.”

His property?

I wished I paid more attention to the address he gave me. I realise I do not know where we are other than a general area of Queensland.

I wince as he rips the tape from my wrists, which is as pleasant as when I get my bikini wax.

Aiden apologises. “Sorry. I don’t want you to be in any pain.”

I say nothing as I knead my wrists to get rid of the soreness. Untying my legs, he says, “Let me help you step down from the truck. You’ll want to stretch your legs before we continue because we still have a way to go before we get home.”

Aiden stretches his hand out towards me, and I look at it puzzled.

Should I be taking the hand of my captor?

The only way to get down from the backseat of his truck is if I accept his help, so I take his hand and hop down.

My legs are stiff, but after a few steps, I’m steady on my feet again. It’s strange, but I don’t have the urge to run. The fear I was feeling is subsiding now that I know who my captor is. But do I really know him enough to believe he won’t hurt me?

I look around. All I see is the beautiful, arid countryside with miles and miles going nowhere fast. I recognise nothing. He’s right. There’s truly nowhere to run if I wanted to run away.

Aiden opens the front passenger door for me to sit next to him for the rest of the trip. As we are driving, I scan the road for street signs or any indication of where we may be, but there’s nothing. We are so far in the country that we drive for several hours without even seeing another truck.

The sun is in front of us now, setting in spectacular fashion, showing colours of amber and violet.

I’m not sure if I’ve seen a prettier sunset before.

I’m sleepy but I fight the urge, hoping that I might see some road sign or marker to help me work out where I am. But even with that information, how would I escape the middle of nowhere?

I glance at Aiden as he focuses on the road in front of us. A thought crosses my mind that I did not expect.

Do I want to run from this man? It was only days ago that my heart ached for him.

We turn off the main road onto a dirt one that heads towards a large gate surrounded by pink bougainvillaea. Aiden gets out of the truck to open the gate. We drive through, continuing onto what I am guessing is his property. After a few minutes, we drive through a tree-lined area that opens up to a stately homestead. It is nicer than I expected.

“We’re home.” Aiden searches my face me for a reaction, but I remain steadfast in keeping my emotions at bay. “Follow me, and I’ll show you around.”

Without giving a response, I walk with him to the front door.

A pair of kelpie dogs run towards us, wagging their tails merrily as they jump at Aiden’s legs. He stops and gives them each an affectionate pat on the head.

We walk inside, through a foyer that opens into a living room.

Aiden takes me towards the back of the house, where there is a large kitchen. Off to the sides of the kitchen, I see a dining room, an office, a well-stocked library and another large living area that has been set up as a game room.

I’m surprised at how modern his place is. I always imagined cattle stations having old-fashioned homes as though they are stuck in the past.

Aiden takes me up the stairs to the second story. “I’ll show you your room. Most homes in the country don’t have second stories because there’s no point when you have so much land, but the previous owners wanted to have a nice lookout from the bedrooms, so they built a second story. I’ve made up the best room with the best view for you.”

The best room all for me? Why am I not feeling angry at Aiden?

My shock is subsiding, but I still cannot speak. I’ve been kidnapped by a man I want to be with. The irony is just too confusing, and my head hurts from trying to make sense of what the right emotion should be.

Aiden points down one end of the home and says, “I’ll sleep in one of the rooms that way.” He then leads me in the opposite direction. “Your room is this way.”

Separate bedrooms?

Maybe he doesn’t mean me any harm. Maybe he is telling the truth when he said he just wanted time with me, and he would not make me do anything I don’t want to do. Then again, there were things I wanted him to do to me. Things I dreamt about. I wanted his kiss on my lips. I wanted his touch on my skin.

With all that Aiden has done, do I still want to be with him? Do I still want to feel his touch on my skin? And no one will ever know.

I wonder if he has created the perfect way for me to live out my fantasy without making me choose between him and my taciturn marriage.

I need something to calm me, but how do I ask this man for a drink?

“Holly, I’ve bought some clothes and put them in the closet. I tried to guess your size, so hopefully they’re okay. If they don’t work, I can order whatever you need.”

He pauses, waiting for a response, but I don’t give one.

Is it okay to talk to my captor?

He suggests, “Uh, why don’t you have a shower, then come back downstairs. I’ll cook you some dinner. Do you like pasta?”

I nod. It’s hard to believe Aiden is going to cook me pasta as if this situation is somehow normal.

He turns and leaves me in the room alone. Glancing around, I wonder if I could stay here with Aiden and be okay with it. It’s not as if my life has been easy lately. Not to mention, Aiden has been a breath of fresh air since the moment he first walked into my office, even if he does have a chequered past.

How can I be thinking this? Too many complicating thoughts. Didn’t Aiden say life was simple out here in the bush?

I enter the bathroom and see that Aiden has laid out a terry-cloth robe and a fresh stack of towels as though he’s running a five-star hotel for me. A sweetness wafts through the air, coming from a vase on the sink that contains freshly cut lilies.

He must have planned this carefully, thinking through what I would need to be happy if he got me here. I’m not sure Tom would even get details like this correct.

Oh, Tom! I haven’t even thought about him. I wonder if he even knows I’m missing.

Stepping into the shower, I let the hot water wash the dirt from my skin as though I’m cleaning the messiness from my life. I stand here, trying to make sense of the thoughts swirling through my mind.

Did Aiden think I would be okay with this? Am I okay with this? How can I feel something for someone that has taken me from my life and all I know? Shouldn’t I want to whack him over the head with something and run back to my life?

I should be angry, but there’s no anger or any urge to run. Actually, I’m surprised Aiden’s not more concerned that I’ll try to run. I guess he probably figures that I’ve been in Australia long enough to know that being unprepared on any trek out here could cost you your life.

This is all overwhelming, and a headache is now pulsating beneath my temples. I rub them under the stream of water, hoping that I will find some solace in sleep soon.

The bed does look like it’s comfortable. What would it be like if Aiden joined me in it?

Finishing my shower, I put on the soft robe. Going into the walk-in closet, I see the few things Aiden has put there. He unexpectedly got my sizing pretty close and what he picked out is similar to what I would have bought myself. From how little this man knows about me, he surely has guessed close to the mark. Running my fingers against the clothes, I see he has meticulously thought about what I would need, including jeans and a swimsuit.

I pick out a lilac-coloured tunic and some leggings, as I think these will be most comfortable to sleep in. As I dress, I look around the bedroom and see there’s no phone.

I sit on the bed for a moment to take this all in. My fingertips feel the soft sheets beneath me, and I realise they must be fifteen hundred thread count Egyptian cotton. They are some of the best sheets you can get.

How is all this possible? Is this what Aiden always had? I never knew that stockmen could have it so well.

Feeling the soft cotton against my skin makes me realise that Aiden has barely touched me. He took such care to wipe the drip of water off my chin earlier. It’s not the sort of behaviour I’d expect from someone that was going to harm me.

I wonder what his touch would be like. Wait, shouldn’t I be repulsed at the thought of my kidnapper touching me?

Wandering back downstairs to the kitchen, I see Aiden cooking, while some music fills the silent void. He has set out two glasses of red wine and a small cheese platter, along with a couple of lit candles.

He notices me walking into the kitchen. “I wasn’t sure if you would want a glass of wine or not. I also have plenty of beer.”

I sit down and take a sip of the wine.

I definitely need this to calm my nerves.

With my hand firmly wrapped around the stem of my glass, I observe Aiden making pasta and sauce from scratch. I think this is the first time a man has ever cooked for me.

Where did he learn how to cook like this?

As if he can read my mind, he says with that warm smile, “My grandmother taught me how to do this before she passed away. She always said a good man should be able to cook for his woman.” He looks down to toss some ingredients into the pan.

While he’s focused on his cooking, I take a moment to examine his face. His tanned skin and square jawline paired with deep-set eyes and a warm smile make it hard to pick out his heritage. Italian? German? Irish, perhaps?

I continue to sit in silence, watching Aiden chopping ingredients and frying them in the pan next to the boiling pasta. The smell of bacon frying with fresh garlic wafts through the air as music continues to fill the silent void between us.

When the pasta is ready, he asks, “Is it all right if we eat here at the bench?”

Taking my first bite, I realise I’m ravenous. Thankfully, the pasta is good, while the wine is taking the edge off my nerves.

“Does the pasta taste all right?”

I nod and take another bite.

“I wasn’t sure if I maybe overdid it with the garlic and oregano. The first thing I did when I got here was put in a herb garden near the stables. I like things as fresh as possible.” He takes another bite of the pasta before putting his fork down.

I continue to eat, watching his every move.

He leans down on his elbows as he says, “I guess you might be wondering about this place. There are only a few horses and a few head of cattle here. I’m getting some cattle moved in once I’m sure the fences are good.” He eats more of his pasta, and takes a sip of wine to wash it down.

There is nothing alarming about his demeanour and nothing that makes me think I’m in danger.

Should I ask him what he wants from me?

Continuing to speak, he says, “I think some of the paddocks might be good to grow some wheat or sorghum. I need to work out how good the soil is first. My family has always tried to grow grain along with the cattle if the land will allow it.” Noticing my blank stare, he smiles. “I guess you don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?”

I shake my head in bewilderment.

It’s like I’m on a date, but am I supposed to enjoy a date that I was forced to go on?

We continue to eat in comfortable silence. Every so often, I take a moment to study Aiden and his actions, trying to work out his intentions. His handsome, rugged looks still give me butterflies, even now, after he has scared me senseless and taken me away to the outback.

While finishing his last bite, Aiden breaks the silence. “Holly, you know, I’m sorry I’ve frightened you.” He turns and stares into my eyes. “I know what I felt between us is real. I thought long and hard about it and I couldn’t figure any other way for us to be together.” He turns his gaze and stares off at the flickering candles for a few moments. “A while ago, I lost someone I cared about. Since then, I haven’t felt anything for anyone until I met you.” He turns back to me, leans closer and mumbles, “I know you’re married, but I couldn’t just let you walk out of my life.”

I could hear the sadness in his voice and see heartache in his eyes. This is the first time I have seen Aiden vulnerable, so I decide to say something back. “I was sad to say goodbye to you, too.”

Aiden’s expression relaxes, and he looks relieved. “That’s good to know.” With longing in his eyes, he asks, “Do you think you could stay here and spend some time with me? Give me a chance?”

My heart says yes, but my head says no.

Which one do I listen to?

After a moment, I give in to my heart and nod.

A grin stretches across his face.

But can I really do this?

He gets up to clear our plates. “It’s getting late and I’m sure you are tired, so I’ll let you get some sleep. I hope you can look through any anger you might have and see that I have the best intentions towards you.”

“I’m not angry Aiden.” The words escape my lips, catching me off guard. I did not expect the thought to come out of my mouth.

He stares at me, hesitating as if he’s unsure I’m being truthful.

Aiden escorts me up the stairs, stopping outside the door of my room. “Don’t worry, I won’t lock you in. If you need anything, I’m down the hall. Just come and get me.”

He pauses for a moment, standing there staring at me with those steely eyes as though he wants to say something, but he doesn’t speak. He leans in as if he is about to hug me goodnight but stops before making contact with me. A confused expression crosses his face, and I wonder if he wants permission to touch me.

Taking a step back, he turns towards his room. “Goodnight, Holly,” he says as he walks down the hall away from me.

Wait! Aren’t you going to hug me goodnight or something? Do I want him to hug me goodnight? Should I touch him to let him know it is okay to touch me?

But I can’t let him know my thoughts. Not until I know how I really feel about all of this. Right now, I just need sleep. Maybe then I can figure this out.

I go into the bedroom, close the door behind me and slip out of the leggings to sleep in only the tunic top. I get into the four-poster bed and hear the faint songs of what I think are frogs and owls as they hunt for their next meal of insects. It’s quiet enough that I can almost hear Aiden breathing across the house.

I look at the empty space beside me in bed and wonder what it would be like if Aiden were lying next to me. It’s been years since I’ve touched anyone besides Tom.

Should I care what Tom thinks after how he’s been acting?

My thoughts take me to the life I was taken from.

With Tom being away I wonder if he even knows I’m gone. Would he care enough to drop everything and come back to find me? Or would that damn job stop him in his tracks?

I feel a pang of anger towards him.

Maybe this will help Tom see what he has, and he’ll finally stop taking me for granted.

As I stretch out under the cool sheets, I feel strangely secure here, far away from the mess of my failing marriage.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

THE WARMTH OF THE SUN shining through the bay windows rouses me. It takes a moment for me to register where I am. After a restful sleep, I’m no longer alarmed about being here. Though maybe I should be since I was taken without being asked. If Aiden had asked, would I have left with him?

I stretch out under the soft sheets before getting out of bed. Walking to the bay windows, I pull back the tailored, pleat curtains to see where I am.

My eyes widen as I take in the view. Green paddocks in every direction, with the occasional ochre termite mound interrupting the native grasses. Crimson and pink bougainvillaea billows over the fences, adding a splash of colour while the azure sky rises to the heavens above. It’s a stark contrast to the harsh, crowded city views I’ve always known. It’s like I’m looking at a painting by Monet for the first time after spending years staring at bleak landscape created by Munch. Didn’t Munch have a breakdown while living in the city?

I smell something deliciously sweet wafting through the air. I throw on my robe and walk downstairs.

What time is it? I should be at work.

In the kitchen, I find Aiden cooking pancakes. He turns to me and smiles. “Good morning, beautiful. I thought I might cook my favourite American dish for you.” While flipping a pancake, he says, “You know, I never found out where you grew up exactly?”

I realise there is no point in remaining silent any longer. I’ve always wanted to talk to this man. “I grew up in Texas, but it was in a city.”

He turns away from the stove to look my direction and raises his eyebrows in surprise. “So, you’re not from the country at all?”

He must have assumed all of Texas was cattle ranches, tumbleweeds and desert.

“Nope.”

Cocking his head to one side, he asks, “Can you ride a horse?”

“No, the closest I got to a horse was driving my Ford Mustang convertible.” I smile at him, waiting to see if he gets my joke.

He laughs. “Would you like me to teach you how to ride?”

I look down because I’m not sure how to answer this. I’m not here to learn how to ride horses.

Actually, why am I here? This man could have anyone. Why me? And why take me away instead of just asking?

Aiden looks briefly at the cooking pancakes then back at me. “It’s fine. I can have you ride with me for now. I just thought I’d take you out today and show you around.”

He hands me a plate of pancakes. “If you want to go riding with me. If you don’t, that’s okay, too. You can do whatever you want here. I have just one request and that’s to let me take care of you.”

“I’ll go.”

It’s not like I have anything else to do around here.

“Good. We’ll head out after you’re dressed. You can wear the jeans I got for you. I think I have a hat around here somewhere that you can use.” He searches the room and finds another Akubra sitting on a shelf.

Aiden walks over and sits next to me with his cup of coffee. He’s close enough that I can smell the heady mix of his natural musk mixed with sandalwood. My insides tighten as I notice his shirt has fallen open, exposing his muscular chest. The glimpse of his hard body leaves me breathless, making it almost too hard to eat.

Once I’ve finished my breakfast, Aiden takes my plate so I can go get dressed.

As I leave the kitchen, I instinctively scan the room for a telephone, but there isn’t one. I know I should feel trapped, but I don’t. Oddly, I feel free from being out of the mess that my life with Tom had become.

AFTER GETTING DRESSED, I head back downstairs. Aiden is in the kitchen wearing jeans that are tight in all the right places. He hands me the Akubra hat. “Follow me.”

As we walk outside, the heat of the sun is already building up. It’s radiating back off the ground, and yet it’s only breakfast time. I notice a pool close to the house that looks quite inviting.

I always thought stockmen took a dip in their dams to cool off.

We head towards a single horse, saddled and ready to go. Aiden says, “I got him ready while you were getting dressed. Are you sure you’re okay riding with me?”

I nod without saying a word.

He ambles up to the horse and pats its forehead while whispering sweetly to it. He looks at me while still stroking its nose. “My horse, Dusty, is like another brother to me. I’ve had him for years and he means the world to me.” He feeds the horse a piece of carrot, smiling at the animal. “I really missed him the last few years.”

Listening to Aiden tell me about his love for his horse makes me realise there are depths to this man I didn’t know existed. “He’s beautiful, Aiden.”

“I was lucky enough to be there when he was born. We’ve been through a lot together.” He reaches up and scratches Dusty’s ears, much to his delight.

Aiden leans in and places his face against the horse’s forehead. There is just something so appealing about a man with a connection to an animal.

Maybe it’s those rugged looks that conceal this side of a stockman to all others.

While watching Aiden rub Dusty’s withers, the thought hits me that I will have to hold on to him when we’re riding. I haven’t been that close to another man since before I got married. I’ve always been faithful to Tom.

Aiden gets onto Dusty and reaches his hand out to take mine in his. Without giving it a second thought, I grab his hand and let him pull me onto the horse.

I guess that’s one way to shut up the deliberation going on inside my head.

He looks at me while I hold my breath, finding myself closer to him than I’ve ever been. The intensity of his gaze makes me dizzy, and my body begins to tremble.

Moving his hand up to my face, he brushes a lock of my hair off my cheek and tucks it behind my ear while adjusting the Akubra I have on.

With our eyes still locked together, I realise I want to touch this man and I want him to touch me. A lump builds in my throat as my body heats. I’m not sure if it’s the sun or my burning desire to feel every bit of this man against me.

Grabbing Aiden’s hand, I hold it against my cheek.

He leans in close, and our noses make contact, but he doesn’t kiss me. A bead of sweat rolls down his cheek, tempting me to wipe it away, but I’m too nervous to move. He’s close enough that I could put my lips against his and finally taste his sweetness if I dare to do so.

Breaking our gaze, Aiden asks, “You ready?”

Nodding my head, my stomach knots from both nervousness and the intense attraction I’m feeling.

As we start to move, Aiden turns to look at me and says, “You might want to hold on or you’ll fall off.” This answers any struggle I have with wrapping myself around him.

Grabbing him tightly, I close my eyes and pray I don’t fall.

The horse lurches forward, forcing me to grab around Aiden’s waist even tighter. I am both turned on and terrified at the same time.

The wind flows through my hair and across my cheeks as we ride across the paddocks towards the fence line. Feeling the animal’s movements beneath me, while my body presses against Aiden’s, excites me more than I thought was possible. I feel freer at this moment than I’ve in years.

Maybe this is why stockmen are happy to still use horses.

We ride like this for about an hour as the heat grows between us with each moment that passes. Our bodies bump into each other as the motion of the horse propels us forward.

We come to a stop near a shady patch of trees. I see a few head of Hereford cattle lazing around as Aiden takes my hand and helps me down off Dusty.

His hand slides free of mine and he asks, “You, okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Except for the fire inside me that I need you to put out, of course.

I watch as Aiden looks over the cattle. I don’t know what he’s actually doing, but I can tell whatever it is, it’s second nature to him. He’s tender, yet commanding and confident with everything he does out here. It’s hard to believe he once thought he should do something else with his life other than being a stockman.

After a little while, Aiden says he’s finished, and we can ride home.

The thought of getting back on that horse with him brings on instant butterflies in my stomach. I love any excuse to be pressed up against him. But I also want to feel that freedom and exhilarating breeze through my hair as the horse carries us away.

Pointing at the surrounding trees, he shows me a pair of kookaburras silently scrutinising us. As we gallop off, we hear them give their distinctive chuckle.

Halfway through our ride, Aiden points out across a paddock to show me a mob of kangaroos. Being from the city, it is a novelty to see these brown furry animals as their pointed ears twirl in our direction, making sure we don’t come any closer.

I never knew there could be so many of them just hopping around out here. I wonder if they frighten the livestock or anything.

Aiden says, “I guess you wouldn’t see that sort of thing back in the city.”

I laugh. “No, not at all. I can’t believe how many there are.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a constant fight for survival between the farmers and kangaroos. We have to keep them from eating our crops and all the good grass. If we don’t, then either the cattle or the consumer will go hungry.”

As we ride away from the kangaroos, I realise all I know about rural Australian life is what some documentary or newscaster reported. I’m quickly figuring out that what I’ve been told may not be the whole story, much like how a file at work did not tell me the whole story about Aiden and who he really is. This man sitting next to me is so much more than I imagined and has shown me nothing but warmth and comfort since I got here. Beneath those steely eyes and well-defined physique, I sense a soul worth getting to know.

WE EVENTUALLY ARRIVE back at the homestead. It’s disappointing to dismount because I could have easily kept riding, pressed against Aiden with the wind blowing through my hair.

Getting off the horse, he says, “I’ve some work to do after lunch, but if you want, you can have a swim in the pool.”

He is always talking about what I might want, but I wonder what he wants.

“Can I help with making lunch?”

“No, I want to take care of you.” He looks at me with a serious expression, as though he won’t allow me to go against his wishes.

We walk inside, and he takes his shirt off to cool down. He stretches it up above his head and I cannot help but be mesmerised by his glistening upper body.

Oh, my! I’m not sure how much of this heat I can take without begging him to cool me off.

After lunch, Aiden heads back out on the horse. As he rides off, he tips his Akubra at me in a way that makes my stomach flutter and reminds me of the dream I had not too long ago.

He smiles and says, “I’ll be back in a little while, Holly. Help yourself to whatever you need.”

I nod and wave goodbye. I’m alone in this house for the first time and I can’t help but be curious, so I walk around and explore.

There’s isn’t much in any of the rooms, but that’s to be expected since the family had only recently acquired the property. In the kitchen, the pantry is well stocked with food. In contrast, there’s nothing in any of the drawers except for cooking utensils, manuals, or remote controls for various appliances. I don’t find a phone, but I see a charger for a mobile one, so I’m guessing Aiden must have it with him.

If I found a phone, would I use it?

As the hours pass, I’m growing more relaxed in my predicament.

Would it really be that bad to try out this new life for a little while? After all, who would miss me in that miserable existence I was living in Brisbane?

The library is filled with books, but no photos. I notice a laptop on top of a large wooden desk. I open it but of course, it’s password protected. I try to open the desk drawers to no avail, even though I half expected they would be locked. There is no way for me to contact anyone in the outside world to let them know I’m all right. If I wanted to tell anyone.

I go upstairs to the room Aiden sleeps in. I open the door, but I don’t go inside. I’m not sure I want to invade his privacy, or maybe I don’t want to find something that could make me look at him differently.

Standing by the door, I realise that just over a week ago I was dreaming of being with this man. Now, I’m here living with him, even if it is under different circumstances than I imagined.

But how could this work? Is it wrong if I allow myself to enjoy being with someone that has taken me against my will?

Standing in his doorway, I feel a cool, wet nose brush against my leg. I look down and find one of the kelpies. Bending down, I give her a pat on the head.

She licks my hand in reply.

Such a cutie with her reddish coloured coat.

I’m not sure if she’s allowed in the house, so I try to take her outside, though she seems to want to stick by me. At the open back door, I crouch down to give her a quick back rub as she lies at my feet. I’m not really sure what to do with myself while I wait for Aiden to return.

Looking around, I scan the uninterrupted pastures and cloudless azure sky before noticing the pool. Maybe a swim will help me relax.

Entering the cool water, I lay back and float under the shining sun. I close my eyes and let the tension ease from my mind, finally stopping the exhausting questions running through my overactive brain. My breathing slows as the sun’s rays touch my skin, bathing me in warmth.

For a moment, I let myself imagine the water lapping around me being replaced with Aiden’s hands. Those muscled arms embracing me, caressing me, heating my flesh to melting point. I exhale as I drift through the water, letting go of my boundaries, allowing my heart to propel me forward towards Aiden.

It’s all right to want him, Holly.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

A FEW HOURS PASS BUT Aiden hasn’t returned. Waiting patiently, I pick a book off the library shelves to read on the veranda. I’m surprised to see how many classics are here, and wind up grabbing something by Hemingway.

Sitting on the veranda brings up the memory of my dream from not too long ago. I woke up that morning wanting Aiden, but still lying next to Tom. I know I want to make love to Aiden, but the thought of being married makes me wince.

Can I break the vows I took? Does any of that matter if Tom has been an absent husband? Besides, he was possibly already breaking our vows, even if I don’t have proof.

I’ve always been a person to follow my head and if I’m honest with myself, it has not worked out well. I followed my head when I married Tom, so of course I lost the fire somewhere along the way.

Maybe this vacation from my life is exactly what I need.

It would be nice to be someone different for a while and maybe Aiden has given me the chance to do this. He may have given me the greatest gift in the world without realising it.

Life and freedom. Even if this is only temporary, it’s more than I’ve had in a long time.

I could be anyone I want for him. I could even be just myself.

A refreshing breeze blows against my arms. I notice the sun is falling towards the horizon. In the distance, I see a man silhouetted in a dusty haze, riding a horse hard and fast towards home. Just like in my dream.

Entranced, I stare as Aidan gets closer and closer, commanding the animal beneath him. His shirt is off and wrapped around his waist, fluttering in the wind. The sight makes my stomach fill with butterflies and the only colour I see radiates from this body coming towards me.

He frees the horse into a nearby grassy paddock, then dusts himself off, creating a momentary ochre cloud around him. Aiden’s body glistens in the sun as he tips his head back and takes off his Akubra while gazing towards the horizon.

His swagger towards the house emanates self-assurance. He notices me sitting on the veranda and flashes that soul-soothing smile in my direction.

The closer he gets, the more I realise that regardless of our situation, my insides crave his touch. I want to lose myself to him completely.

He plants himself in front of me and proffers a cut native flower. “I thought you might like this.”

I take the flower and breathe in its sweet fragrance. “Thanks, Aiden. It’s lovely.”

Tilting his head, his lips curl in satisfaction. “Want to join me for a swim before dinner?”

Not wanting to appear too eager, I coolly say, “Sure. Can I get you a drink or anything first?”

His eyes flash with pleasure at my acceptance. “Just you will be fine.” He picks at imaginary dust on his Akubra nervously.

I go and change into the black bikini, suddenly feeling self-conscious about how I may look.

Am I ready to let him see me this exposed?

As I walk down towards the pool, I wonder if I can really do this. I know my heart and body are screaming ‘yes’. Now, if I could just get my head to shut up and stop over-analysing everything.

Remember, follow your heart, Holly.

The sun has dipped below the horizon, and I find Aiden is already in the water.

Walking towards the pool, I notice his clothes are piled haphazardly next to the steps entering the water. He has stripped down to his underwear. My pulse quickens at the thought of one thin layer of material separating me from seeing all of him.

His grin widens as he licks his lips. “I see you found the bikini.”

My voice cracks as I speak because I sense his gaze on my exposed body. “I actually went for a swim earlier.”

He nods and smiles back in approval. “Good. I wanted you to relax while I was working.”

“Yeah, it was good. But I’m not sure what to do with myself here. I’ve always worked and kept busy with different things.”

“Think of this as being on holiday.” He gazes at me, pleading with his eyes as if he wants me to agree that me being here is a good thing. “Let me take care of you, Holly. I don’t want you doing anything unless you want to. And I don’t expect anything in return.”

I nod, though I think I will need something to occupy my time here.

Is it possible that there are men out there who are happy to do for their women and not expect anything other than love?

Stepping slowly down into the crystalline water, I sit on one of the lower steps where I can watch Aiden’s every move.

He swims a little closer, letting himself float in the water while telling me about his day. But I’m not hearing a word he says. I’m more focused on his body and the fact that his bare flesh is so close to me. I’m blinded by the sinewy curves of his muscles that ebb and flow in ways I’ve not seen on a man in a long time.

Don’t forget to breathe, Holly.

He dips below the water and swims even closer towards me. As he breaks back through the surface, he flirtatiously shakes his head back, flipping his wet hair off his brow. “Tell me what you think of this place.”

My voice cracks as I speak. “It’s lovely out here.”

“Just lovely?” He cocks his head to one side, tilting his chin downwards as he looks up at me, playing coy.

Out of nervousness, I try to make a joke. “It’s not bad.”

“Not bad?” He laughs, shaking his head as he sinks below the surface and swims across the pool and back. His deltoids flex as he pushes them through the water, sending ripples across the pool in all directions.

As he surfaces again, he stands with the water just above his waist, exposing his upper body. He’s only a few feet away and I could reach out and touch him if I let myself.

Drops of water run down his chest, weaving their way through his well-defined abs. The sight is mesmerising, causing my insides to tighten in both nerves and anticipation.

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. “I’m just kidding, Aiden. Your place is stunning. I had no idea this is what it’s like in the bush. I mean, the views here are just magical.”

His lips curl up in satisfaction. “It’s pretty spectacular, but so is the view of you.”

Looking down, I try to hide the flush of colour crossing my cheeks.

“You are not used to taking a compliment, are you?” Luckily, he saves me from having to answer by changing the subject. “Tell me about growing up in Texas.”

“I’m not sure there is much to tell. I grew up in Houston. My dad worked in oil, and we spent a lot of time at the country club playing golf and tennis.”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“I have an older brother and a younger sister.”

“So, you were the blessed middle child who can do no wrong?” He smiles as he mocks me.

“I don’t know if I would call it a blessing.” Pursing my lips, I lower my chin while keeping my gaze on Aiden.

“Well, in my family, once we were older, the middle child never got in trouble. Anything that went wrong was always my fault and sometimes my oldest brother’s as well. The irony is that he was the one always up to no good, breaking stuff or scheming up crazy things. But my parents never saw it.”

“I learned at a young age not to test the boundaries set by my parents. They were pretty strict. Being a girl in Texas meant they expected me to act and be a certain sort of way dictated by society.” I sigh while staring into the surrounding water.

“You said your dad worked in oil?” Aiden wades his arms through the water as he lays back to float.

I cannot help but stare at his muscles flexing in rhythm with his movements. My insides tighten and I hold my breath.

Breathe, Holly.

Trying to focus on what Aiden just asked me, I say, “Yeah, he was an executive for one of the big companies.”

Nodding his head, he lets out a small laugh as he stands back upright. “Ah, so you come from money as well.”

I nod while watching his pecs go taut in the breeze wafting against his wet skin.

He dips his body back into the water and wades over towards me. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, is it?”

“You mean money?” I clear my throat as he moves closer.

“Yeah, it’s not the be all end all people make it out to be. Of course, it helps to have some, but people seem so driven to get more and more and they don’t know how to stop.”

I look down into the water and think about what a stark contrast this statement is to Tom’s greedy ways.

Aiden continues speaking as he wades even closer than he was just moments before. “I think what’s the point of killing yourself for a pile of cash you will never get to enjoy because how can you enjoy it if you are always working trying to make more?”

I look into his smouldering eyes. “You’re right. For a while now, I’ve questioned what money does to people.”

“I think simple things are better than all the materialistic distractions you see everywhere. Things do not bring lasting pleasure.” He rubs his hand against his chin.

When will those hands finally touch me?

Aiden gazes at me, but he doesn’t move any closer. His earlier statement that he doesn’t want me ‘doing anything I don’t want to do’, flashes through my mind.

Maybe he won’t touch me until I touch him first. Can I actually do this? Yes, Holly, you can.

I can’t wait any longer, so I reach out and take hold of his strong hand. I pull it towards me and look into his eyes as my heart quickens.

Aiden’s brow furrows.

I lower my chin without breaking my gaze. “It’s okay, Aiden.” I gently pull him closer. I hold his hand up against the top of my chest, placing it near the bottom of my neck.

Can he feel my heart beating?

His brow relaxes as he stands close and peers deep into my soul.

In my mind, I’m telling him to take me, but the words don’t come across my lips. Instead, my hand guides his fingers so that they wrap around the nape of my neck. I let my hand fall away while his stays in place.

He lowers his face to mine, all the while not breaking his gaze. Leaning close, his other hand cups the opposite side of my face. With his thumb, he strokes against my cheek.

If he intended any harm to come to me, this would be the moment he could hurt me, as I’m completely exposed. Though, instead of fear, all I feel is wanton desire for this man standing before me. I want those lips on mine and I don’t think I can wait any longer.

My breath is quick as I part my lips and close my eyes.

Aiden leans in and kisses me.

Time stops as the electricity between us sends a shiver down my spine. It was the perfect first kiss, as if Aiden knows exactly what I need and all the men who have come before are now forgotten strangers.

Aiden is masterful with his mouth as he starts off softly, then as I reciprocate, he increases his level of hunger and intensity. His tongue explores with feverish passion, while I dissolve into him and pray this moment never ends.

His hands drop from my neck onto my shoulders, and I pull him even closer. The momentum of our kiss causes us to fall back into the water against the side of the pool. As we slip deeper into the cool water around us, I glide my hands across that muscular chest I’ve dreamt of touching.

His hard body is more beautiful than my fantasies. I’m a hungry animal wanting to explore every inch with my hands. I’m insatiable as I ache to feel him touch and explore me. Heat emanates from his muscles that ripple beneath my fingertips. His boulder-like shoulders undulate underneath my arms while I continue to caress his well-defined back.

Wanting his hands to explore more of my body, I reach up and guide them down towards my hips. Our kiss breaks for a moment as he again looks into my eyes. His voice is a husky whisper as he asks, “You sure this is okay?”

My mind gives up and I let my heart take control. Releasing myself mentally, I say without hesitation, “Yes.”

My words release the tiger inside of Aiden. The strength of his touch increases as he caresses my back and down the sides of my body. He massages every inch of my exposed skin.

I wish he would untie my bikini. I want to feel my nakedness pressed against his, but he only moves his hands against what is already exposed.

Trying to reassure him that I want this, I wrap my legs around his waist, drawing his maleness closer against my sex. I shiver at the sensation of his hard member pressing between my legs, through his trunks and my bikini. Wishing our clothes would disintegrate, I moan through his lips, willing him to take me.

He moves his kiss down my neck and onto my neck. The searing heat of this moment is almost too much to take, causing me to moan once again.

We fall further and further into the water. I ache to melt into him and make us one, but we must come up for air. This causes us to break free from our kiss. I gasp for air when I surface, my body quivering as my insides burn for more.

He gazes at me with fire. “Let’s go inside.” His hand grips mine as he guides me out of the pool. He gently wraps a towel around me before grabbing one for himself. As he reaches behind to wrap it around his waist, water droplets fall down his flesh as though he were a Roman statue just dipped in bronze.

Putting his hand on my chin, he pulls me closer to give me a gentle kiss. Hand-in-hand, we walk inside.

Once in the kitchen, Aiden gives me another soft kiss and brushes a lock of my wet hair off my brow. “Why don’t you take a shower while I cook us up something?”

I immediately pout.

What? This is not the time to eat, Aiden. This is the time you make me yours! I’m starving, but not for food.

Sensing my need for more of him, he looks at me with those unsettling blue eyes. “You are a typical city girl, aren’t you? Hasn’t anyone taken their time to love you in a while?”

I shake my head.

“Well, one thing I am going to teach you, Holly, is that being in the country means we have all the time in the world and no distractions. We can take our time with everything. Do it slow, do it right.”

“But what if...”

He places his index finger against my lips to quiet me. “No buts about it. I like to take my time with these things. It’s so much sweeter if you build up to it.” Motioning around him, he says, “Look around you, there’s no rush. No schedules, no meetings, no nothing. Just plenty of time and plenty of me, all for you.”

My brow furrows as I nod to show him I’m trying to understand. But my insides don’t want to wait. They want him now.

“Trust me, you’ll feel more pleasure from the build-up.” Playfully, he swats my backside. “Now, go take a shower. You’ll get what you want when I know you’re ready for it.”

I’m so hot right now, with every cell in my body begging for release. But I know he won’t give it even if I beg. As I head to the shower, I take a couple of deep breaths to control my animalistic urges.

The hot water runs down over every inch of my supercharged body.

When did I last take time for sex? I guess it would’ve been at university before any distractions got in the way. Could Aiden be right? Could delayed gratification really make things better?

It seems so unnatural to take my time to do things. Somehow, my life became all about the to-do lists constantly running through my head. Everything was always done straight-away, in a hurry, or with an appointment.

How depressing is the thought that I probably needed to schedule time for love with Tom all these years?

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

AFTER MY SHOWER, I find Aiden downstairs, once again cooking for me. He has set the dining room table with candles and a bottle of wine breathing in the centre.

“What smells so good?” I ask as I walk up behind him and kiss the back of his neck.

He glances up from the pan. “I’ve grilled some chops and made some mash for us.”

We sit down to eat, and Aiden gets straight into telling me his thoughts. “I want to get to know you, Holly. And I want you to know me. Back at your office, you got to ask me many questions, but none were about the real me. It was just what some organisation thought you needed to know.”

I take a sip of the wine. “Well, I don’t think that’s a surprise considering we have to keep it professional.” He grins at the sarcasm in my voice mocking him. “No real information about a person means no meaningful connection to them.”

“Yeah, but regardless, I think we both felt a connection. And all you knew about me was from a file.”

I blush because I know he’s right. “The truth, Aiden, is that there wasn’t much to your file.” I shake my head while taking a bite of the lamb chop sitting on my plate. “You were a bit of a mystery.”

Contemplating this, he says, “You know the worst thing about what I did? It’s that I’m forever labelled.”

“But it was only something you did. It’s an action. It’s not necessarily reflective of who you are. And if people can’t see the difference, then they’re not worth being in your life.”

Shaking his head, he says, “I guess that’s one way of looking at it. But it’s still important for me to make things right with some people.”

“Shouldn’t what you think of yourself matter the most?”

After swallowing a mouthful of mashed potato, he pauses, considering my question. “Maybe. But all the same, I want to fix things if I can.”

“You must realise some people will always judge you no matter what you do.”

“True.” Taking a bite of lamb, Aiden is quiet for a moment. “A few weeks after I was in, it hit me what I’d done. I felt so much shame for disappointing my parents. That was the worst part to deal with.” He puts his fork down and sits back in his chair, holding his wineglass. Staring at me, he asks, “Has anyone disappointed you?”

I glance down at my plate, considering his question. I would like to hide from the truth, but I can’t. “Of course. Who hasn’t been?”

“Tell me what happened.”

I look up and see his gaze focused squarely on me as if everything I say means something to him. It feels unusual to have someone focused on me during a meal and not be constantly checking text messages or taking work calls.

Noticing my pause, Aiden again says, “Tell me.”

It seems the tables have turned. Instead of me getting into Aiden’s head, he’s now trying to get into mine. Or maybe I am unsettled because this is the first time in a while anyone has cared to ask me what is going on beneath the surface.

“I don’t know. I moved to Brisbane because Tom got a promotion, and all I’ve felt since then is loneliness.”

“So, his name is Tom?” Aiden looks down to and continues to eat his lamb chops.

Anxiously, I reply, “Yeah.” Changing the subject because I don’t want to think about Tom, I say, “Maybe you should tell me more about living out here in the country?”

He shakes his head. “I won’t let you off the hook that easy. I want to know about your life. How did he disappoint you?”

I sigh because I know I can’t run from the truth any longer. “Well, since we got married, Tom’s job has been more important to him than me. And it’s gotten worse since we moved to Queensland. I guess we sort of lost our connection. And I recently caught him doing drugs.”

Frowning, he says, “Sounds like your marriage became a bit of a prison for you.”

“I never looked at it that way, but you’re right. I’ve felt trapped and forgotten.” Looking down, I push my food around with my fork. “I don’t know what matters to me anymore. All I know is I’ve been unhappy for a while.”

Aiden smirks as he pours us both more wine. “Maybe you should take some of your own advice.”

My brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe you should stop letting your marriage define you as a person.”

I let my expression soften as I reflect on what he has just said. I’ve never mulled over why I’m seemingly desperate to stay in my marriage when it’s clearly not working.

Why can’t I just let it go?

Aiden finishes what’s left on his plate before picking up his wineglass. “You know, I’ve met many people in your line of work during the time I was arrested and while in jail. None of them were like you. You seemed to actually care about your, ah...” He clears his throat before continuing, “Clients.”

“I like helping people no matter what their situation. And to be honest, this job changed my perspective on clients.” I grin as I use his euphemism. “I realise now most of them are just like everyone else, but the difference is they got caught.” Pausing to pick up my wine, I add, “There are so many people committing crimes that never face what they’ve done. And some of what they do isn’t called criminal even though it should be. It’s almost refreshing to be at work because everyone’s crimes are out in the open.”

“It sounds like you are speaking about someone in particular who’s hurt you in the past.”

Looking away from his gaze, I say, “Not really. Life just gets complicated as we get older and learn how the world works. It’s frustrating when someone hurts you and you’re left wondering if they ever cared. Like money somehow makes you virtuous and can get you out of any situation.”

Aiden mulls over my opinion before saying, “I thought the same when I first went into prison. In the beginning, I thought I was better than everyone else because I had money. But I quickly learned that money doesn’t mean a thing when you are doing time. There’s a completely different set of rules in jail.”

“I can’t imagine what you went through.” My smile fades into concern, thinking about what he may have endured during those three years. I’ve heard too many stories that would make even the toughest person cringe.

Changing the subject, he says, “Tonight’s not the night to talk about that. I’d rather talk about you and how beautiful you are.”

I blush.

“You don’t realise how beautiful you are, do you?”

“No, I don’t.” I say bashfully.

Aiden takes a sip of wine. “Tell me how you wound up in Australia.”

“It’s totally cliché. Tom and I met when I was holidaying on the ski slopes of Colorado. We kept in touch, and I then came to Australia as part of an exchange program. I enjoyed it so much that I wound up transferring to finish my degree here.”

“I don’t mean to pry, but it was Tom that had you upset that day in the office.”

My gaze drops to my fingers wrapped around the stem of my glass. “It was. He’s obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder.”

“I gather you’re not too thrilled by this?”

“I’m happy he’s able to achieve his dream. But he’s always off at meetings or whatever.” I wave my hand in the air to make it seem like I’m nonchalant about it. “He kisses ass to his boss because he’s always chasing the next promotion.”

“Is his boss male or female?”

I wince. “Female.”

“Is it possible there’s more to his relationship with his boss?” He holds my gaze as he waits for my answer.

How could he know this?

After a moment, I sigh. “As painful as it is to admit, yes, I think he’s up to no good with his boss. I don’t have proof though.” I shrug as I take the last sip of wine.

Did I really finally admit this out loud?

Leaning against the table, he looks at me with concern. “Sorry, I’m not trying to upset you. I just look at you, this beautiful, amazing woman, and I think how any man would be crazy to ignore you or hurt you. If you were mine, I’d make sure you always felt loved.”

I blush again. I haven’t heard something this idealistic from a man in a long time.

Aiden gets up to clear the table. He stands behind me, leans in, and with his hot breath against my neck whispers, “You need to realise how beautiful and worthy you are.”

He picks up my plate and takes our dishes into the kitchen. “How about I clean up while you get comfortable on the couch? We could watch a movie or something. If you like sports, I have the Reds rugby game I recorded from last weekend?”

“I’ve never watched rugby before.” I shrug while giving him an innocent smile.

“Well, I guess that’s another thing I’ll add to the list of what we need to teach you out here. Rugby is definitely part of Queensland country life.” He grins as he shakes his head.

“I grew up watching NFL, which is basically another religion in Texas. Is it anything like that?”

“It’s a little similar, but the players don’t wear any pads to protect themselves.”

“No pads? That sounds a bit dangerous.”

An amused look flashes across Aiden’s face. “Australians are tough, mate. Why don’t we watch a few minutes and if you find it too boring, we’ll put on something else, okay?”

Taking away the plates, he rinses them in the sink before putting them into the dishwasher.

“Let me help you finish cleaning up first.”

Aiden shakes his head. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Go relax.”

SITTING ON THE COUCH, Aiden turns on the recorded rugby match. He brings in the rest of the wine and hands me my glass. He pulls me close as I lean back against his chest. “Comfortable?”

I nod as I tilt the glass to my lips, getting more relaxed with each sip of wine, slipping further and further away from any thoughts that our situation may be wrong.

As the game starts, Aiden says, “The first lesson is that there are a couple of types of rugby in Australia. The first, and my personal favourite, is rugby union. The second is called league.” Putting his hand up to stop me from asking what’s the difference, he says, “Union is better because historically it came first, and it has a better flow to the game. League is more stop-start like the NFL. Now, there’s a third type called Aussie Rules, but it doesn’t count because I liken it to aerial ping pong.”

I laugh, as this means nothing to me. “Did you ever play rugby?”

“Yeah, boys in country Queensland are raised on union. I don’t think you could get the ball away from my brothers or me when we were kids.” A comforting smile stretches across his face as he thinks about his childhood.

“What else do you remember from being a kid out in the country?” I smile as I imagine Aiden as a small child running through the paddocks, teasing cattle, and swimming in the property’s dams.

“There are so many stories, I’m not sure I’d know where to begin. Out here, you learn to play with what’s around you. I always think about the times after harvest, where my brothers and I would climb all over the wheat piles. Roll around in them and play fight for hours. It was so much fun.”

The smile on Aiden’s face makes my heart feel warm. There is so much I want to know about this man. “Tell me more.”

Laughing, he says, “We loved hunting for yabbies along the edge of the dam.”

“Yabbies? What’s that?”

“Oh, I almost forgot you wouldn’t know. Yabbies are what you would call crayfish. Well, once my brothers and I caught a whole bunch of them. We thought we would try to keep them as pets. Mum was not impressed but figured boys will be boys. We wound up taking them onto the trampoline and bouncing them around with them nipping at our feet before trying to set up a little home in a cardboard box for them. I think we played with them until dinner when mum decided to cook them up for us to eat.”

“Sounds like you had a fun childhood.”

Still lost in his memories, he says, “I sure did. I hope I can give my kids the same one day.” He pulls me close as he says this, nuzzling his nose into my hair. He presses my head against his chest, making me feel secure.

We snuggle while he tries to explain the intricacies of rugby, during the first half of the game. As the refs blow the whistle for halftime, I hear his heart beating through his shirt.

He smooths my hair with the palm of his hand as he takes my arm and gently stretches it out against his. His fingertips caress the inside of my arm over and over, a sensation that sends me into a state of deep sleep in his embrace.

SEVERAL HOURS LATER, I stir, finding myself still in Aiden’s arms on the couch. It’s dark outside, so I do not understand why I’m awake. I carefully free myself from his grasp and sit up. I listen, but all I hear is the hypnotising sounds of chirping crickets and cicadas in an outback night.

For a moment, I watch Aiden sleeping. He’s a beautiful, gentle soul. I want to know everything about him. My head tells me I shouldn’t be feeling something for my kidnapper, but I do feel something.

A noise I do not recognise breaks me away from my thoughts. The dogs sound riled up, but I’m not sure if I should be alarmed since this country life is new to me. Just in case, I gently shake Aiden to alert him.

“Aiden,” I whisper while nudging him.

He comes to explosively, swinging his arms in front of him, as though he’s fending off an attack. His eyes are wild.

Startled, I yelp and push myself backwards to get out of his way. “Aiden, it’s me Holly.”

I see reality register across his face as his expression softens from rage to one of shame. “Oh, God, Holly. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know where I was for a second.”

Drawing his attention to a possible problem outside, I tell him, “I think there’s something wrong with the dogs.”

Aiden goes on point. Putting his hand on my shoulder, he says, “Wait here. I’ll go take a look.”

He goes into a nearby closet, pulls out a shotgun and goes out the front door. I’m not sure what shocks me more, his reaction when I woke him, or that he just pulled out a gun.

Wait a minute, Australia has tough gun laws. So, why does he have that? He’s a parolee and they’re not allowed weapons.

Fifteen minutes later, Aiden comes back inside. “I didn’t see anything, but I might take Dusty out and check again.”

“Aiden, why do you have a gun?”

“Don’t be alarmed. I would never use it except to protect my family, my animals or you.”

I must still look alarmed as he comes close to me, brushes my hair off my face and looks into my eyes. “I will not let any harm come to you, Holly.”

I nod before taking his hand in mine. “I trust you.”

“Why don’t you go hop into bed and get some sleep. I might be awhile.”

I watch him leave before I go up and get into bed. As I pull the sheet up towards my chin, a flash from my finger catches my eye.

My wedding ring.

For a moment, I am torn about whether I should keep it on or remove it. I sit up in bed and look around the room.

What life would I rather be a part of? One with a man that couldn’t care less, or one with a man that seems to care more than I ever could imagine?

I loosen the ring and it slides off easily. Taking this off takes me further away from the life I no longer want to lead. I place it in the nightstand drawer before looking at my now bare finger.

Maybe Aiden is right. My marriage, or should I say failed marriage, should not define me any longer.

As I lie down, I try to fall asleep, but I just can’t. It’s too quiet without Aiden in the house.

Hopefully, he gets home soon so I can tell him to join me. I want to have those arms around me as I sleep.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

STRETCHING OUT UNDER soft, downy sheets, I wake to a sweet perfume wafting through the air. On the bedside table, I see a vase with fresh cut lavender along with some other native flower I don’t recognise. Aiden must have put them here while I was still asleep. I smile at the thought of him always putting fresh flowers around me.

The memory of the roses back in my office flashes through my mind.

Oh, my God, was it Aiden that sent me those flowers?

I slip out of bed to find him but come across a note telling me he has gone out to work. After eating breakfast and taking a shower, I grab the book I’ve been reading and head out to the veranda. Walking through the house, I see the television and decide to turn on the news.

Could there be a mention of me missing? Does anyone even care I’m gone?

I watch for a bit, but there’s nothing mentioned. As I turn the television off, relief washes over me. I’m glad there wasn’t anything on the news because I don’t want to be found. Maybe I never want to be found?

Well past lunchtime, I see a small cloud of dust on the distant horizon. My stomach flutters, knowing it is Aiden returning home. I put my book down to go and greet him.

Aiden has his shirt sleeves rolled up and I can see his flexed muscles as he comes to a halt. He swings down off Dusty and saunters over to me. He takes my chin in his hand and gives me a passionate kiss. “Hi, Beautiful. How was your morning?”

“It’s been restful. What have you been doing?”

“When I was trying to work out what was upsetting the dogs, I noticed a windmill wasn’t working, so I’ve been out getting her going again.”

“Do you have much else to do today?” I have my fingers crossed in hope he doesn’t because I want to be wrapped around him the rest of the day.

“I’ve a couple things to do, but other than that, I’m all yours,” he says with a seductive look that causes my insides to clench in excitement.

“How about I make us some sandwiches from the leftover lamb chops?”

“If you want to, that’d be great.”

Dusting some dirt off his pants, he says, “I’ll just take a quick, then meet you in the kitchen.”

As we walk inside, Aiden unbuttons and takes off his shirt. I cannot help but be hypnotised by the sight of his bare chest. A fire flares inside me as I see his tanned, hard body.

He leaves me to head upstairs.

I hear him turn the water on in the shower, while I pull out a few things from the fridge for the sandwiches. Grabbing a couple of plates and glasses from the cabinet, a thought crosses my mind.

Maybe he’s thirsty from being outside all day.

I take a glass of ice water upstairs and knock on the bathroom door.

Aiden opens the door, holding a damp towel around his waist while a few drops of water fall down the curves of his muscular chest. The towel hangs low enough that I can see his lower abdominal area where it forms a perfect V-shape.

My breath is stolen from me when I see him standing before me. I’m completely fixated by this Adonis, and I lose all train of thought of what I came upstairs to do. “I, uh...”

He grabs the glass from my hand and drinks a few sips. A bead of condensation from the glass drops onto his chest and rolls down over his large, defined pec muscles.

Reaching out, I trace the line of where the water droplet was to wipe it away and tease this man that stands before me.

Aiden looks at me with an inferno in his eyes. Holding the glass down by his side, he reaches for me with his other arm, pulling me hard against his body. He kisses me passionately, his tongue exploring my mouth, tasting my sweetness. Without putting the glass down, he lifts and carries me into my bedroom.

He places the glass on the nightstand and lays me down on the bed. Straddling me, he hovers inches above my trembling body. The heat between is at boiling point and my flesh aches to be filled with all of him.

His towel hangs open, halfway falling towards the ground. I want to look at him, take in all of his nakedness. But I’m entranced in his animalistic gaze.

He hesitates, waiting for my permission to continue.

I unbutton my shirt and push it open, slowly sliding it off while staying underneath him. I pull him down against me, shivering at the sensation of his naked chest finally melting against my flesh.

His kiss moves from my mouth down to my neck.

With my hands, I explore his muscles, waiting eagerly to use my mouth on them.

Feverishly, he moves his mouth lower towards my breasts. His arm reaches around my back to pull me upward to remove my bra, releasing my breasts from their restraint. As soon as he freed them, he drops me gently down against the bed. Taking my hands in his, he holds them above my head. His voice is husky and soft-spoken. “Keep your hands above your head.”

I nod in submission, enjoying his commanding nature. He releases his hold on my hands, but I keep them where he wants them.

His hands run across my breasts, stopping to tease my nipples. I moan as they harden between his fingertips. He moves down over my breasts and takes one into his mouth as one of his hands pays attention to the other. He tongues each one, giving them equally generous attention. First, he sucks on them softly, and then harder, causing me to arch my back up against him, aching for more.

Grabbing his hands, I guide them down towards the top of my shorts. He stops and looks at me to make sure this is what I want. Looking into those alluring eyes, I nod while mouthing, “Make me yours, Aiden.”

He pushes against my shorts to force them off while I move the towel away from his body, leaving him completely exposed to me. Once he has my shorts completely off, he comes back up to kiss me on the neck. He studies my expression as the palm of his hand hovers over my panties.

I arch my back to force his hand to make contact with me.

Taking the hint, he doesn’t make me wait any longer and presses against me.

I’m intoxicated by the combination of his kiss on my skin and his touch over my covered folds. My body begs for his fingers to touch me under that thin layer of silk and move deeper inside. Panting, I plead with him. “Please, touch me.”

Aiden moves his position so that his hard shaft is pressing against my leg. I reach out to take him into my hands, but he moves away from my grasp. “Relax, we’re in no hurry. I want to take my time with you, Holly.”

Using his hands to push my panties down, he kisses across my stomach while my body quivers underneath. He moves lower and lower until his mouth hovers right over my exposed pussy lips. He pauses as if he’s breathing me in, but still does not touch me.

I can’t take this anymore. I’m going to explode just from the anticipation. Please, Aiden, give into me.

Lifting himself above me, he moves on top of me like a lion over its prey. Sexy, seductively, taking his time, deciding where he wants to pounce next. Studying my body and all the areas he has yet to explore, he teases me by moving back up to kiss me on the mouth.

I groan in displeasure as I want that mouth down below, but he still doesn’t give it to me.

Instead, he presses his naked body against my flesh, causing a heat between us that is more intense than I have ever felt with a man before now. His hard member is just between my thighs, barely making contact with my folds.

My heart pounds fast and I’m practically hyperventilating from how much I desire to have this man inside me.

He reaches up and grabs my hands, pulling them down towards his body.

He’s finally letting me use my hands on him!

I rub my fingers around his rippling muscles, exploring the ridges of his sinewy arms and the tightness of his backside. I cannot help but try to grind against him, though he continues to hold me tight, attempting to delay what I’m begging for.

Breaking our kiss, he whispers in my ear sarcastically, “Always in a hurry, aren’t we, Holly?”

A moan escapes me as I continue to feel his body. I’m on edge and he has not even delved into my pussy. I run my hands down his body, hoping he’ll at least let me grab onto his hard cock.

“Not so fast, gorgeous. Let me savour you and teach you how here in the outback you can take your time with everything.”

He kisses my neck again, sending a shiver through me as he moves towards my breasts once more. He sucks on my left nipple and, as he rolls it and nibbles it gently between his teeth, I finally sense his finger between my slit.

Oh, God. I think I’m already going to come.

He places the base of his palm firmly against the top of my mound while he circles inside with his finger. Still sucking and nibbling my breasts, he places a second finger inside, and my body tightens around him.

I’m getting close and I arch against his hand, hoping he will take me over the edge.

He whispers. “Wait, Holly, not yet. Close your eyes and feel me inside you. Let it build for a moment.”

Is he kidding? I want to come on him now.

He reaches to grab the glass of ice water off the nightstand. He takes a sip, sucking a piece of ice into his mouth. With the ice between his lips, he traces a path from the nape of my neck down towards each breast.

Oh, my senses are on overload now.

Holding the ice above each nipple, it melts against the heat of my skin.

I moan from both the intense sensation and the anticipation of where he will go with the ice next.

He moves his ice kiss lower and lower, across my stomach, all the way to my pussy. Using both of his hands, he rubs up between my thighs and gently pushes apart my swollen folds, exposing my sex fully. Leaning towards me, he tongues me with the ice as he pushes two fingers back inside.

I gasp at the sensation.

Oh my, I’ve never felt ice there before.

It’s almost too intense, so I try to push him away, but he won’t let me move.

Instead, he lets the ice linger against my flesh, tracing circular motions around my clit and my heated entrance. Unhurriedly, he does this in calculated moves until it completely melts into me. Once the ice is gone, Aiden finally uses his tongue against my clit, letting his fingers continue to massage inside me.

My body clenches tight against his fingers as I get closer to my release.

Aiden must feel my reaction because he increases the intensity of his touch inside my body.

Moaning out, I grab onto the back of his head and explode against both his mouth and fingers.

After a few moments, I look down at him and I see him grinning with a satisfied smile. He doesn’t say a thing, but his expression speaks volumes. He’s one satisfied man and yet the satisfaction was truly all mine.

Now that I’ve had a taste, I want more. I want everything that Aiden can give me.

Pulling him against me, I want the real prize my body has ached for. But first, it’s my turn to tease and play with him. I want to bring him to the edge of ecstasy as well.

The tables have turned now, Aiden!

After getting on top of him, I begin my assault on his flesh. Taking my time, I kiss and rub every inch of his body. I am careful to not touch his hard cock as I want to tease and make him wait just as he made me.

I kiss his lower stomach and down each side of the V-shaped ridge created by his lean abdominal muscles. Kissing up the inside of each thigh, I move closer and closer to the base of his shaft.

Breathing that heady scent of earth and sweat drives me wild, fuelling the fire between us. Hovering my open mouth above the top of his shaft, I hear him stifle a moan. Sucking him into my mouth, I tighten my lips around his shaft and take him in. I stroke and massage him with my lips and tongue. Slow at first, then harder and faster. Rhythmically, not breaking a beat.

He tenses and pushes me off him.

Pulling my face to his, he looks me in the eyes, our mouths inches away from each other. “I want to come deep inside you, not in your mouth.”

Oh, but I want to taste your sweetness, Aiden.

Rolling me over, he pushes my legs apart, grabs his shaft at its base and pushes it inside of me.

I gasp at the sheer pleasure of being filled by him.

Steadily, he pushes in and out. Deeper and deeper with each stroke, taking his time to make things last.

I run my hands up and down his heaving back as he enters me over and over. My hands find their way to his hard glutes and push at them, trying to force him further inside.

He shifts and rolls me onto my side. As he pushes back inside me, he pulls one of my legs over his, spreading me wider. Using his hand to palm my mound, his thrust quickens inside me. Anticipation builds as my body gets closer to a second release.

The fullness from his cock along with his palm against my clit is sending me into places I’ve never been. I no longer can contain myself, so I scream out as my next orgasm takes over. I thrash about while he holds me in place, not letting me go, making the sensation last longer than I knew was possible.

As I come down from this release, he rolls over on top of me and picks up his pace. Driving his perfect cock hard and fast inside me, his body tenses as he moans from his release. Dropping himself against me, our naked bodies melt together, completely overwhelmed by the sensations we’ve just given each other.

WE LIE IN BED TOGETHER, our bodies entwined, just staring at each other for hours. I break the silence by tracing my finger against his pectoral muscle and saying, “Why don’t we go eat the sandwiches I made, though they have been sitting out for a while so I’m not sure how good they are anymore?”

“All right, but I could just lie here with you forever.”

“Well, we could do that as well.” I smile, still tracing around those hard muscles.

Aiden takes my hand in his. “I really like you, Holly. I have since I first met you.”

Staring back, my lips curl into a smile. I lean towards him and kiss his soft, full lips.

He breaks our gaze and shifts so that his back is turned towards me. He looks off towards the bay windows as he clears his throat. “I need to know, are you all right about being here with me?”

I pull Aiden around so he can look straight into my eyes. “Aiden, I want to be here with you. I know I probably shouldn’t, but right now, I don’t know what else there is but you.”

A look of relief spreads across his face as he hugs me tight against his chest. He strokes my hair while nuzzling his nose against my head, breathing in my scent.

I lie quietly in his arms for a few minutes. “What would you do if I said I didn’t want to be here?” I hold my breath and wait for his response, though I’m not sure why I’m even asking this.

Aiden sighs. “I would’ve taken you back and faced the consequences. I went into this ready for any outcome.” He plays with a lock of my hair. Twisting it around his fingers as he says, “I felt something between us and If I had any doubts, I probably wouldn’t have done it.”

“What if I ever want to leave?”

He pushes me up so he can look me in the face. “I will let you go. I only want to see you happy.” After a few moments, he then adds, “Though, if you give me a chance, I think I could make you so happy you’ll never want to leave.”

I smile as he holds my head against his chest once more. Smoothing my hair, he kisses my head. “I hope I haven’t hurt you with what I have done.”

I try to reassure him. “You haven’t hurt me, Aiden. If anything, you have shown me what I was missing.” I feel the smile spread across his lips as he still nuzzles against my hair.

He turns his head and looks out the bay windows. “I had a thought. If the weather’s good tomorrow, I want to take you to camp out for the night and show you how beautiful it can be out here.”

“Camp out?” I’m not sure what he’s talking about.

“Camping out is sleeping under the stars. All we need to take is some food and a couple of swags.”

I open my mouth to speak, but he puts his finger in front of my mouth to stop me.

“I know what you’re about to ask. A swag is like a sleeping bag, but it’s got a bit of padding to it, so you can get a decent sleep against the rocky ground.”

“Will we take Dusty?” Excitement builds inside me in anticipation of feeling the wind through my hair while being pressed against Aiden’s hard body.

He nods. “Yeah, we will. You seem to enjoy riding.”

“Yeah, it’s thrilling. I had no idea riding a horse felt this way.”

“It’s great, isn’t it? I know a lot of guys like to use quad bikes because horses can kick or bite, but I still like being on a horse. Dusty and I have had some great times together.” He stares up at the ceiling.

I prop myself up on my elbows and look at Aiden’s face. “Tell me about them.”

“My best memories were when I rode him in a few rodeos. He helped me win a couple of events, and he also helped me run away from home a few times, so I could camp out somewhere on the property until my parents would calm down over whatever trouble I was in.” He laughs to himself as he thinks back to his childhood before a darkness flashes in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head as if he shakes away the thought. “Nothing. I was just thinking about how happy I was to get back on Dusty these last few weeks. Feeling freedom riding him again.” His expression softens back into a smile. “We need to get you riding a horse soon, don’t you think?”

“We do. But for now, just tell me more about these rodeos with Dusty.”

Aiden pulls me down against his chest and strokes his fingers through my hair, letting it spread down across his muscles. The sensation of his touch is relaxing, causing me to drift off to sleep.

What I think is a few minutes later, Aiden tries to slip quietly out from under me and get out of bed. Slurring my words from drowsiness, I murmur, “Where are you going?”

“I thought I would let you sleep.”

I reach out to grab his hand. “Aiden, nap with me.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Still slurring my words, I gently pull him back down on the bed. “I couldn’t be more sure of anything.”

Aiden wraps his arms and legs around me, cocooning my body in his embrace, making me feel protected and secure. He pulls my fingertips to his lips and kisses them gently. As he lets them linger against his full lips, he notices my wedding ring is no longer there. He whispers, “Holly, you took your ring off?”

I nod while murmuring. “Yeah.”

“You’re really okay with this?” I feel his fingers rub around where my ring no longer sits.

I whisper, “Yes.”

His grip around my body tightens as he kisses into my hair.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

OPENING MY EYES, I find myself wrapped in Aiden’s arms. The amber sunrise covers him in a warm ethereal glow as it shines through the curtains behind him. I gaze at his face as I lie there, intoxicated by the memories of yesterday’s pleasures.

Eventually, he starts to stir. As he nuzzles his stubbly chin against the side of my neck, I feel his smile against my skin. Before opening his eyes, he whispers, “Morning. Want to take a shower with me before I head out to do some work?”

I nod as he stands and stretches his arm towards me. Taking his hand in mine, he pulls me out of bed and straight towards the shower. His well-defined muscles flex as he moves across the room, awakening my desire to touch them.

Turning on the water, steam builds around us. Once inside, he grabs the shampoo and lathers it into my hair, giving me a soothing head massage. Standing in front of me, he reaches to grab the body wash and sponge. Lathering my body, he takes care to be tender.

I’m overwhelmed with the enchanting smell of sandalwood as he sponges across my skin. A gasp escapes my lips as his hands rub against me, my flesh still hypersensitive from our lovemaking the day before.

Pulling both of my hands behind my back, he holds them there with one hand as he pushes me against the cold, tiled wall. Grabbing the shower head, he brings it to my skin, washing off the suds that cover me from head to toe.

As he rinses my upper body, he kisses my neck gently, making my knees weak. Feeling lightheaded, I try to grab onto him to keep from sinking down between his thick legs, but I can’t grab him because he’s still holding my hands behind my back. Noticing me falling against him, he wraps his powerful arm firmly around me to hold me up, without letting go of my hands.

He looks at me and gives a mischievous smile, knowing he’s in complete command of my body. I don’t fight it. I know being submissive to this man will bring me the most intense pleasure I have ever or will ever feel.

The fire in his eyes and smile across his face show me how much he enjoys taking his time, making me ache into submission. With his body pressed up against mine, his long, hard cock pushes against my stomach.

Oh, how I want him inside of me.

But I know Aiden loves to delay pleasure, so I don’t dare ask for it. I fear he will tease me, making me wait even longer if I do. Instead, I let out a moan and beg. “Take me back to bed.”

“What I want to do to you, we can do right here, beautiful.”

“At least let me touch you.” Conceding, he lets go of my hands as I grab the body wash. I put some into my palm and begin washing his hard shaft. I want to command him for a change.

I focus on rhythmically rubbing up and down his shaft, starting slowly, then increasing my intensity, trying to control the sensations Aiden is feeling. Pushing him against the tiled wall of the shower, I grip him harder, being careful to not break the rhythm I have going with my hands.

Aiden moans, letting me know I’m getting him close. Using my other hand, I massage the area beneath his shaft. Getting down on my knees, I let the water wash the soap off his cock.

Without breaking my rhythm, I take him fully into my mouth. Working my tongue over him, I hear him groan above me. It excites me hearing the effect I’m having on him.

Rotating my tongue over his shaft, over and over, I suck that perfect cock further and further into my mouth. He moans out a warning that he’s getting close. His hands find the back of my head, pushing me further down over his shaft.

I’m enjoying this more than I ever have in my life. I’m becoming frenzied, almost power hungry, being in control of my captor’s body. I could do anything to him now that I have him on the edge of release, but all I want to give him is pleasure.

You are mine, Aiden.

I continue with my tongue rolls, undulating and tossing his member into all corners of my mouth, trying to suck his honey out of him. His body tenses and he again pulls me against him while moaning loudly. He releases into me, continuing his moans of pleasure while I drink him in completely.

A few moments later, he looks down at me with anticipation, licking his lips and says, “Your turn.” The fire in his eyes tells me to be prepared to be ravaged. Within moments, he picks me up, carries me out of the shower and places me down against the large, fluffy white bathmat.

Grabbing my hands, he holds them in place above my head. He takes my breasts, one at a time, into his mouth, bringing my nipples to attention. Placing his hard cock up against my entrance, he teases me with it. He lets me feel it, but doesn’t push it inside.

The sensation of his mouth on my aching flesh, along with his bracing me in place, causes me to buck in agony. I moan out, begging to have him. He teases me as he rubs his hard cock against my skin, bringing it up between my legs, closer to my pussy. I writhe underneath as he brings it close to my folds and hesitates, letting it touch my clit for a moment before pulling back away. He pushes my sexual frustration to its limit as I scream out. “Give it to me.”

He relents and gives me what I want. Using his legs, he spreads mine apart as he pushes his thick member inside me. Moving slowly at first, the blissful sensation causes me to melt into the mat underneath me as I am oblivious to everything but the pleasure my body is being given.

Initially, he stays shallow in his movements but then picks up the intensity as he grows harder. Moving his hips in a circular motion, he uses his cock to rouse every inch inside me as if he’s an artist painting my insides with pleasure.

I struggle to get my hands free, wanting to pull him deeper into me, but he won’t release them. He holds me down with his hands and his legs, and I’m loving every moment. Whimpering, I implore him to give me release. I buck against him as his cock reaches further inside me.

Releasing my hands, he pulls out of me. With a husky voice, he commands my next move. “Get on your hands and knees so I can take you from behind.”

I do what he says, and before I know it, he grabs onto my hips and enters me in one forceful, satisfying push. The sensation of him filling me causes me to scream out in sheer pleasure, and I fear I may collapse against the bathmat.

Enfolding his solid body against my back, he wraps himself right around me. His muscles flex against my flesh as he moves in and out. Thrusting from behind, I can feel his cock reaching deeper and deeper.

Moving one hand between my legs, his fingers find their way to my clit and begin massaging it. I’m about to collapse from the sensation building between my legs. It’s almost too much.

I quiver from the intensity, but he doesn’t relent. If anything, he does the opposite and increases the intensity with both his thrust and his fingers. I can’t take anymore. An earthquake takes hold of my body and I writhe underneath him. Within moments, he bends forward, pressing his sweaty chest against my back as he thrusts once more, coming deep inside me.

We collapse against each other, lying on that fluffy mat, drunk on the pure ecstasy we have just given each other.

Fuck me, I don’t think a man has ever given me the level of pleasure that Aiden has. He has sold me a drug that has taken me to new highs, and now I’m completely addicted.

Aiden rubs his fingertips along my arm and says, “We should probably get up and eat. I’m pretty hungry.”

I stretch my body out against his, feeling the weight of him linger against me just a moment longer. “Yeah, I am, too.”

He stands up and helps me get up off the floor. Pushing my wavy hair off my shoulder, he leans down and kisses my neck once more before we walk downstairs. It sends a quiver through my oversensitive body, causing my knees to shake as I try to navigate the walk to the kitchen.

AIDEN COOKS UP A HEARTY meal of eggs, bacon, beans, and toast. As we sit down at the bench to eat, I hear his phone ring. He pulls it out of his pocket while studying the reaction on my face.

Is he’s concerned I will try to scream for help?

He places his hand firmly on my knee as he answers the call. “Hiya, mate.” Staring at me, he searches my expression as he talks to what I think is a friend on the other end of the call.

“Yeah, I think the fences will be right by next week and we can move them in.”

I stare back at him and see his expression relax when he realises I’m not going to alert the caller about my presence.

Laughing, he says, “I’m settling in. It’d be great to see you soon and catch up on old times.” He pauses, running his fingers along the top of my leg. “Yeah, sure. Call me in a few days and we’ll sort something out. Talk later.”

He puts the phone back into his pocket. His eyes narrow as he glares out the window, looking at nothing in particular. “That was a mate of mine from school that runs a property not too far from here. He’s going to help with moving some cattle in here.”

I bite into the eggs, and ask, “Have you guys always been close?”

He looks down and moves the food around on his plate. “Yeah, sort of.” His expression softens as he turns to look at me while changing the subject. “What do you think of these eggs?”

My brows furrow. “They’re good, why?”

“They’re from my hens.”

“You have a henhouse?” Laughing, I say, “You can cook, you can ride, and now you have a henhouse as well. Is there anything you can’t do?”

“It’s how life is out here. Everything you need right at your fingertips.” He strokes my leg again as he mocks me. “You city folk miss out on it all.”

He clears our plates when we hear the dogs riled up again. Aiden looks at me before walking off to see what they’re barking at. “I’ll be right back.”

I watch as he goes outside to search around the paddocks. Peering through the window, I see him walk towards the dogs that are out close by the stables. He pats their heads as he looks around at the surrounding grounds and into the bushes.

I finish washing the dishes while I wait. Soon enough, Aiden comes back into the house.

Looking less alarmed, he says, “I think there must be a snake or goanna lurking around the stables. It’s probably after the chooks, but who knows.”

The idea of snakes scares me. “Umm, snakes?”

He sees the concern cross my face. “Don’t worry. It’s Australia. Snakes are unavoidable. They usually won’t bother you.”

Unavoidable? Usually, won’t bother you?

Still not convinced, I mumble, “If you say so.” The thought of snakes makes me cringe.

Aiden walks behind me and gives me a hug. “Remember, I’m here to protect you.” He goes and grabs his Akubra off the rack, placing it firmly on his head.

“Where are you off to this morning?”

“I’m going out to the shed to work on one of the tractors. I think there’s something wrong with the hydraulics.”

“Well, you must tell me what I can do to help around here. I need something to keep me busy while you work.”

Scratching his chin, Aiden says, “Well, if you really want to, you could get together some food to take out with us tonight.” He walks over to the window and scans the horizon. “It looks like it’d be a good night for a camp out near the rocky ledge.”

“I think I can manage getting a few things together.” I grin at him as he walks out the door.

An hour later, I decide to make up some American southern style potato salad. Gathering the ingredients from the pantry, I remember Aiden said he had planted a herb garden and that he likes things fresh. Thinking his herbs would go great in the salad, I put on my shoes and wander out towards the stables.

Walking to find the garden, I listen to the soothing sounds of birds and whatever animals are singing in this dry heat. I’m mesmerised by the extensive view of this place every time I walk outdoors. A few billowy white clouds are dotted along the horizon, but too far away to hope for any rain.

Behind the stables, I find the herb garden near what I guess is the chook house. I walk into the rows of plants to look for some dill and parsley. As I bend down to pick some of the parsley, I hear something shifting around behind me.

I scream out as I see a long brown snake slithering amongst the herbs. I freeze in fear as I watch it slithering away from the garden and stables.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Aiden running towards me. Panting, he asks, “What’s wrong? I heard you scream.”

“I’m fine. I just got a fright because I saw a big snake here in the herbs.”

“Where did he go?”

I point out the direction, and he goes to look around.

He searches around for a few minutes but doesn’t find anything. He returns to my side, placing his hand on my shoulder. “I think he’s gone. Let’s get you back inside.” He pulls me close and kisses me.

Once we are inside the house, I realise I might have overreacted. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have screamed like that. I just didn’t expect...”

“No, don’t apologise. You’re not used to this sort of stuff. Snakes can even scare the toughest stockmen.” As he turns to go back out to the shed, he pokes fun at me. “You know your scream was quite loud, so the snake was probably more scared of you.”

I laugh awkwardly because I’m not at all convinced that a snake would be more scared of me.

Oh, why did I ever watch any of those documentaries on Australia’s deadliest animals?

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

AIDEN IS TAKING ME out on Dusty to have my first experience camping out somewhere on his property. As we ride off, I nuzzle my nose into his shoulder, taking in his heady scent of leather mixed with sandalwood.

After riding for a while, we find the cattle that Aiden needs to check on. I’m still not sure what a stockman does with his cattle, but I guess Aiden will teach me, eventually. I might only be good at taking care of Aiden’s carnal needs, but hopefully I can learn a few other things to show my worth.

Will I be here long enough to learn anything?

When I get off the horse, I take a moment to look around, finding the view is breathtaking as usual. We are on the edge of what most would call the outback. We are a long way from the homestead, but still on his land. Seeing the endless pastures, I realise I don’t know how expansive Aiden’s property is.

There is so much room out here. Endless possibilities that I never knew even existed because I was so sheltered, as well as jaded, by city life.

We’ve stopped on a hillside, near a rocky outcropping that gives us an unrestricted view of the vista spread out below. Undulating grassy hills with dusty ochre patches and sparsely set trees. As I breathe in the fresh air, I wonder why Aiden ever considered living in the city would be better than living out here in the country.

It dawns on me that as each day passes, I slip further away from my old life, not missing it anymore. Not wanting it anymore, either. I no longer look for anything that I could use to navigate back home if I wanted to leave.

As I take off the Akubra, a refreshing breeze crosses my face, bringing respite to my heated skin. There are a few unthreatening clouds on the horizon that won’t be giving relief to the ground that begs for rain.

Aiden walks towards me with that unmistakable swagger that excites my insides. “Now, it’s time for us to relax and enjoy the sunset.” He takes in a deep breath, smiling as he enjoys the crisp wind.

He gently rolls out two swags next to each other, causing his shirt to tighten over his husky shoulders. Standing up, he scratches his chin while scuffling a few rocks out of the way of his feet. “I’ll build the fire here.”

He moves with unmistakable manly confidence. There’s never any hesitation in his actions out here.

“This will be our spot for the night.”

I watch as he sets up a campfire. Once it is going, he throws a blanket down against the swags. He grabs my hand to pull me down onto the blanket next to him.

The fire builds, and I see its flickering reflection in Aiden’s longing eyes as he watches the sunset in the background. “Isn’t it amazing out here?”

“This place is beautiful, Aiden.”

“You know, the sunset was something I missed the most when I was inside. The colours and breathing in that crisp air as evening sets in. Feeling freedom that most don’t even realise they have.” I see Aiden stare off into the sunset as if this was the first and last one, he will see.

A haunting pain crosses his eyes, but I am not ready to ask about it. There is so much I do not know about this man and what he has been through. There is also so much he does not know about me.

I wonder if knowing any of this would change how we feel about each other.

Aiden pulls out the food I packed and a bottle of red wine. Realising we only brought one fork, he lets me eat first. He never falters from thinking of me before himself. This is something I’m still not used to because with Tom, my life was always about Tom’s needs first. I came second to everything, even sex. Yet with Aiden, it’s the complete opposite.

When we finish eating, Aiden does one last check on things. When he comes back, he grabs my hand as he sits down next to me on the blanket. He tops up our glasses of wine and gently slips off my shoes. He unbuttons the top buttons of my shirt so that it falls open, exposing my chest and neck.

I get goose bumps as the breeze wafts against my bare skin. He gets behind me, pushes my hair to the side and rubs my shoulders. His powerful hands against my skin arouse my insides as each sip of wine relaxes me further into his touch.

He stares at the sun dropping lower and lower. “So, what do you think of this sunburnt land?”

“It’s too beautiful for words.”

“Like you, also too beautiful for words.” He kisses my neck.

Thankfully, I’m lying down against Aiden, and he can’t see me blush.

Holding me tighter, he says, “I know you’re blushing, Holly. Even if I can’t see you.” He kisses the top of my head. “Don’t worry, I like making you blush.”

“Why did you ever want to leave this place? It’s stunning.”

“Why I wanted to leave is a story for another time. I just want to focus on you and this night. I want to show you the stars and dark night that remind me of my favourite poem.”

Turning to face him, I question, “Favourite poem? You like poetry?”

A playful grin spreads across his face. “Yes, I like poetry. I enjoy reading lots of things. You know if I didn’t know any better, you sound like maybe you thought country folk, or stockmen, aren’t intellectual.”

I didn’t mean to offend him. “No, no, I don’t think that at all.”

Laughing, he turns me back around and pulls me against him again. “I’m just kidding. I know you didn’t intend for that to sound like you were poking fun at me.”

“So, what’s this favourite poem of yours?”

“The Man From Snowy River. I’m guessing you never heard of it?”

Innocently, I shake my head. “No, I haven’t.”

“Well, look who’s a little unintelligent now?” Aiden says, teasing me.

“Hey now.” I turn to look at him.

He laughs, turning my body back to face the sunset. “Just kidding. Now, relax and watch the sunset. This is the best part as it disappears below the horizon.”

I sigh as he cuddles around me. I cannot imagine being anywhere but here in his embrace.

After a little while, Aiden pulls me down so that we are laying against each other as we view the last flicker of sunlight disappear under the horizon.

His breath is hot against my cool skin, sending a shiver up my spine, as he whispers, “See at the stars, Holly?”

Looking up, there are millions of stars shining back at me.

Aiden kisses the nape of my neck. “This is what I wanted you to see. The stars are mesmerising out here. So, beautiful, just like you. If you wait a few minutes, you will probably see a falling one.”

He hugs me tightly as he speaks, making me feel as though I am the centre of his universe. I sense longing in his kiss as he takes his time savouring me. His strong hands move to hold mine close to him. “You know, you make me feel as though I’ve finally caught a falling star.”

He caresses the inside of my arm as he pulls me closer. His firm, bulging muscles are almost bursting through his shirt as he swaddles me with his strength.

Simply staring at the stars, we lay like this for a long while, enjoying the sensation of our bodies pressed against each other. Soon, Aiden moves underneath me, pushing my shirt further off with his free arm.

Under these sparkling stars, he is taking his time to let my fire for him build. He’s slow and calculated with his seduction of me every time, teaching me how to savour each moment and not rush into anything.

Always the pleasure delayer. Always relishing in prolonging the pleasure my body craves no matter how much I beg.

He shifts to position himself so that he’s not quite underneath me, but can now use his mouth to push my bra straps down. Letting his hot breath linger against my skin, he tantalises me, pushing me to be a slave to my desire. Each strap of my bra slowly falls to the side as he frees my breasts from the restraint holding them back.

My nipples get taut as the cool air blows against their bareness. He cups my breasts, caressing and kneading each one. I love having the strength of those hands against my skin, but now, in this moment, I’m dying to get his mouth to replace their touch.

I arch my back, hoping he will take this as a sign I’m begging for more. But true to form, he does not let me have what I want so easily. He shifts his powerful legs over mine to hold me in place while he takes a few moments to decide what he will do next.

I want to beg, but all I can muster is a whimper as he puts his finger into my mouth to tell me to stay quiet. I suck this finger between my lips, wanting to turn him on, show him what I can do for him in return, if he would just let me.

His hands caress the soft skin on my stomach as he continues kissing my neck. His heated breath against my skin teases me into submission as his hands work their magic. They are gentle as they rub further and further down my body, fuelling my desire. I know the power these hands have, and I bow my body against his, trying to force him to move where their strength is wanted most.

He takes a break from kissing my neck long enough to whisper, “Keep watching the sky for your falling star.”

I do as he commands while he eases me down onto my back. He pulls me on top of him, leaving me staring towards the sky. His fingers unbutton my pants and slide open the zipper. One of his hands slides underneath into my silk panties while his other hand pushes against my left thigh to spread my legs wider.

Using his right hand, he rubs against me lower and lower until he hesitates right above my entrance. The fire is breaking through its border inside me. I’m trying to stay silent like he asked, but I fear I may scream out to beg for mercy if he makes me wait any longer.

He uses his legs, first to push my pants down to my ankles, then to again hold me in place as he begins his sweet assault on me. He slides one finger slowly inside me. I’m so wet that it doesn’t take much for it to slip its way inside.

He works me, moving his finger in, out and in circular motions. I’m becoming greedy in my desire, clenching against him. Within seconds, I have the sensation of another finger joining the first one. In and out, in and out, slowly, calculated. But it’s still not enough.

My pants are in the way, so I open my mouth to beg for them to be removed.

Before I can speak Aiden places his left hand to my mouth and whispers “Shh... keep watching the stars.”

He remains firmly in place, keeping his legs wrapped around me, forcing my legs and body to stay open to him.

I cannot move, but I’m enjoying submitting, letting him take control of my body with those solid hands.

Rhythmically, he uses his long fingers against my sex until he senses my insides gripping tighter onto him. Tighter and tighter, I’m closer to coming.

Writhing against him, my body begs to be released into the fit of passion I crave.

He nibbles my neck and quickly pulls out his fingers out of my pussy.

I groan in distress at being left so close to the edge.

No, give me what I want, Aiden!

He releases his legs and their grip around me as he rolls out from underneath me. Gently, he pushes me down so that I’m still lying on my back.

I try to grab at his pants to remove them, but he stops my hand from touching him. “Keep your hands behind you.” He looks at me like an animal hunting its prey. “I think it may be fun to tie you up and tease you.” His hard muscles flex as he reaches into his nearby pack and pulls out a rope.

Tying my hands behind my back, I’m now truly his toy under his control and will do what he orders. I relish in the fact I will soon be rewarded for obeying his command.

Getting on all fours, he stares into my soul, while one of his hands pulls my pants down. He leaves my panties on as he sucks on my exposed breasts one at a time. Those hands of his are rubbing against the top of my panties as he slowly places his fingers back against my sex.

Teasing me, he palms the top of my entrance but does not push his fingers inside. His mouth moves lower and lower as I continue to squirm, trying to force more of his touch onto my body. But he’s in control and will not allow this.

I’m dying to put my hands through his hair and push his head against me, down hard against my sex.

Taste me, Aiden, please!

With his mouth lingering over my panties, he breathes in the scent of me. The animalistic fire in his eyes excites me about what is going to happen next.

Oh, how I want to use my hands to pull him into me, but they’re still tied.

I think he enjoys seeing me quiver and struggle beneath him, knowing I’m aching for him.

Using his teeth, he pulls down my panties. He removes them along with my pants, freeing my legs from any restraint. Using his sturdy hands, he holds my legs apart and his mouth finally connects with my folds.

I moan out in pleasure as his tongue feverishly explores me. Pushing my hips up, I try to force his mouth harder against my sex, since he won’t let me grab the back of his head. I’m so close, but he pulls off of me, leaving me on edge once again.

I cannot help myself as I breathlessly moan out, “Please, Aiden. Give it to me.”

He reaches behind me and pulls the rope off my hands, freeing them. He undresses quickly and, while sitting upright, pulls me on top of him in the lotus position. My hands are finally free to pull his hard, built body against mine.

His beautiful cock presses up against my pulsating folds as he grabs my hips and pulls me down onto his shaft. He forcibly pushes me back and forth, hard against him.

My fingers claw down his back as I get closer and closer to heaven underneath these stars. Moaning loudly, I come, gushing hard against him. My body is thrashing against him as he continues to rock against me, pushing harder and deeper, until he finally he gets his release inside me as well.

I’m spent as he pulls me against him in one of the swags. We lie with our naked bodies pressed against each other while we keep staring up at the stars. I want to stay lost in this man’s arms forever.

Whispering to me, he says, “Holly, did you see your shooting star?”

I have fallen blissfully asleep against him, so I don’t answer.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

EVEN BEFORE OPENING my eyes, I inhale the earthy scent of leather, reminding me that Aiden is wrapped around my body. His brawny thighs entangle my own, keeping me comfortably warm in this single swag.

I don’t want to let go of this man, yet I resist the temptation to hold him tighter, disrupting his sleep. I stroke the soft skin of his cheek. My fingertips rove the prickly stubble of his chin that left my flesh with a delicious rawness last night.

How is this gorgeous man mine?

His breath deepens, and he begins to stir. His eyelids flutter open. I’m already drowning in those blue eyes, losing myself in my desire for him. He takes my hand, bringing my fingertips to his full lips and kisses them.

The words pour out of me. “You were amazing last night. I’m so glad I’m here with you.”

He grabs around my back while taking my chin in his hand. Pulling my face close, our noses touch. “I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.”

He presses my head down onto his chest. I listen to the thump of his heartbeat as he strokes his fingers through my unruly hair. We lie still as he caresses my back, tantalising me with his callused fingertips while the sunrise colours the sky.

His abs go taut under me as he curls forward to bury his head into my hair. Breathing in my scent, he hardens beneath me. Shifting, he pulls me on top of him without breaking our embrace. Pushing me upwards so I’m upright and straddling him, he lets the sides of the swag fall away, completely exposing me to the crisp morning air.

Examining the curves of my body, his gaze moves straight towards my ample breasts and hard nipples. With an amorous glance upwards, his lips curl as he pulls me down against his rippling chest.

Burying his face into my neck, his hot breath provokes the sexual urges inside of me once again. Wrapping his arms around me, he uses his robust legs to part mine. Throwing my head back in pleasure, a wild moan escapes my lips as he penetrates me.

Continuing to hold my hips, he thrusts underneath me. Starting off shallow, he gradually pushes in further and further until he fills me completely. Taking his time using measured movements, he rhythmically guides me nearer to a delicious orgasm.

My pulse races as he rocks my hips back and forth, forcing me to seesaw against his thick shaft. I moan and whimper as he controls my movements against him. I writhe against his grasp as my flesh achieves its climax. My hair splays out across his chest, my body collapsing against his, surrendering to his every move inside me.

Melding against him, my flesh is like putty. He continues to push in and out, in deliberate, forceful thrusts. Grabbing firmly around my body with those muscled arms, he moans out and finds his release. Those taut muscles of his relax beneath me as we remain connected, savouring the moment.

We lie for a while, just being with each other, as the sun rises higher in the sky. Aiden’s fingers curl around a few strands of my hair. “We should probably get going before it gets hot.”

My body feels heavy as I prop myself up on my elbows. My nipples go taut as they brush against Aiden’s chest when I move. He pulls me back towards his face to give me another kiss. His lips part as I taste his sweetness, much like the orange he fed me almost a week ago.

Have I really only been here a week?

Our kiss breaks. “Holly, I think you’re amazing.”

Emboldened by his words, I push the swag down off us and stand up. I’m completely naked and feeling less self-conscious than I ever have in my life.

The old Holly would never stand naked anywhere for fear of judgement that comes with trying to achieve perfection in the eyes of all others.

I take hold of his hand as he stands up. “Aiden, you have shown me freedom I never knew existed.”

“This is just the beginning, Holly.” He leaves his shirt off as we get dressed.

Watching as he rolls up the swags, his flexing muscles capture my gaze. I cannot believe a man like this has taken hold of me. Like the drug dealer he is, he’s got me hooked for life.

I hope I never have to come down and detox.

As we get on the horse, Aiden turns to look at me. He unbuttons my shirt, exposing my bra underneath. He peels my blouse back, slipping it down off my arms. “Just wear this, so I can feel your skin against mine as we ride home.”

Shocked, but feeling liberated, I go along with his suggestion. It’s as if he just peeled away a layer from my old city self, forever discarding it from my existence.

Riding home, I lean against Aiden’s strong shirtless back, breathing in his heady scent. My hands wander as I stroke his exposed muscles that ripple with his command of the animal beneath us.

“If you keep touching me like that, we’ll never get home.”

I laugh to myself before nestling against his body, finally giving myself permission to be completely his.

Once we’re home, Aiden lets Dusty off into a paddock before we go inside. “I’m going to go finish working on that tractor. It shouldn’t take long. Then maybe we can give you your first riding lesson if you want?”

Excitement and fear surge up to the back of my throat. “You think I can do it?”

“Of course, you can do it. I think you can do anything you put your mind to.” He grins as he adds, “And we have plenty of time out here for you to learn.”

“Well, then let’s do it. Do you think Dusty will be okay with me?”

Rubbing his stubbled chin, he says, “I was thinking I might give you one of the mares because they’ll be easier for you, being your first time and all.”

“Sounds good, I guess.” Butterflies have taken over my stomach as I hope I can be a good student for Aiden.

He tips his Akubra at me, then strides out the back door and crosses the paddock to the Colourbond shed.

I go upstairs to take a shower. Standing in the hot water, the sponge rubs against my skin, reminding me of where Aiden’s touch was. My skin tingles at the thought. I have not felt this sexually awake since I was a teenager. I’m insatiable when it comes to this man.

I retreat to the veranda with my book. I read for about an hour before noticing that Dusty is lying down.

Is it normal for a horse to do that? There’s so much for me to learn out here.

Watching the horse, I realise it’s getting hot and Dusty hasn’t moved in a while. I decide to get Aiden just in case this isn’t normal horse behaviour.

At the shed, I peer in and see Aiden still shirtless, lying near the tractor. His chest is streaked with grease and shimmering beads of sweat.

“Aiden, I think there is something wrong with Dusty.”

He jumps up with pursed lips. “Where is he?”

The tools bang hard against the concrete floor as he runs out of the shed.

“In the front paddock...” But I don’t think Aiden hears me. I run after him and watch as he drops to his knees next to the horse.

Standing behind him, I place my hand on his shoulder. “What can I do to help?”

Running his hands along the flanks of the horse, Aiden speaks to Dusty in a low voice. “Hey boy, what’s going on?” He continues to look the horse over, trying to work out what’s wrong.

He tries to coax the horse into standing but stops abruptly. Aiden’s eyes open wide while his jaw clenches.

“What is it, Aiden?”

“He’s got some blood coming out of his nose.” Hurriedly, he looks over Dusty’s face, ears, and neck with skilled urgency. He finds puncture wounds under the jawline. “Oh, God, it’s a snake bite.”

“What do we do?” I’m trying to stay calm.

Hope has flickered out from Aiden’s expression. Tears escape his eyes as he leans close to Dusty and urges, “Come on, boy. Hang in there for me.”

Feeling helpless, I plead with him. “Tell me what to do.”

He looks straight at me. “Go get me a bucket of water. I can’t move him. It will only speed up the venom.”

Rising on his knees, Aiden wraps his arms around Dusty’s head as I run off to retrieve a bucket of water.

When I return, Aiden’s eyes are puffy, while tear marks streak his cheeks. He tries to get the horse to drink, but Dusty refuses.

“Can’t we call a vet or something?”

Aiden shakes his head. “I’ve seen this before. It’s gotten him in a bad spot. It’s too late.”

“Surely, there’s something....” He puts his hand up to stop me from talking.

We sit quietly with the horse, in the blazing sun, for about an hour. The horse’s breathing becomes more laboured as each minute passes.

Aiden lies beside Dusty, murmuring things into his ears as tears fall down his face.

I look away, feeling like an intruder in this moment between this stockman and his best mate. My heart aches for Aiden. I reach out to stroke his arm. “Can I do anything?”

His voice trembles as he gives me a cold, steely look. “Can you go get my gun?”

Shocked, I shake my head, “No, you can’t...”

He stops me from finishing my sentence. Choking back his words, “There’s nothing else. I can’t watch him suffer.”

I want to embrace and comfort Aiden, but I know these are his final moments with his Dusty. Doing what he asks, I get the gun.

When I return, he’s lying against the horse sobbing. Clearing my throat, with trembling hands, I give him the gun. “Here, Aiden.” My insides are heavy watching this broken man fall apart.

I’m not this tough. I can’t watch this.

I run back to the house, holding back my tears until I get inside. Slamming the door behind me, I fall in a heap, sobbing against the polished wood floor of the foyer.

I can’t live like this. How can anyone live like this?

The sound I have been dreading brutally breaks the silence.

Bang!

I know it’s over, but my body feels like a lead weight, impossible to move. Mustering up all the energy I have left, I pull myself up and walk over to see how Aiden is coping. I don’t think he should be alone right now.

Finding him stroking Dusty’s lifeless nose, I plead again. “Tell me what I can do.”

He turns, gets on his knees, and reaches his hand out to me. I take hold of his hand and he pulls me down against him, embracing me hard and tight. His body shudders with deep sobs as I struggle to keep us both upright.

Stroking his hair, I whisper into his ear, “It’s all right. I’m here.”

A cool breeze sends a shiver down my spine as Aiden slowly quiets against my shoulder.

The sun is setting quickly, darkness growing around us.

I try to coax Aiden to get up. “Let’s get you inside.”

Shaking his head while standing up, he says, “You go in while I take care of this. I’ll be in soon.”

Turning to walk towards home, I squeeze his hand as he stands over Dusty’s body one last time. I leave Aiden to have a moment alone with his horse, his mournful face painted in a candlelit glow.

IT’S DARK WHEN AIDEN finally comes inside the house. He walks in, shoulders slumped with red eyes, and drops his gun to the floor.

I place both my hands on his shoulders and look into his eyes. “Let me take care of you now.”

He nods but says nothing as he stares at the ground.

I remove his Akubra and place it on the shelf before kneeling to take off his boots. I guide Aiden upstairs to the bathroom while he continues to stare into nothingness.

Turning on the water, I make sure the temperature is not too hot. Carefully, I undress Aiden while the tub fills with water. Trying to hold his attention, I stand in front of him and unbuckle his belt, sliding it free from the loops. Then I unbutton and disengage the zipper that holds his jeans firmly in place. Pushing them down, the well-worn material feels soft.

Grabbing hold of his hands, I put them on my shoulders so he can steady himself while I lift each foot to remove the jeans completely. He relents and puts his weight against me, letting me help him into the hot water.

As he slumps into the tub, I remove my clothes. Cautiously, I climb in and sit behind him, wrapping my arms and legs around his body.

I grab the sponge and wash him. Taking my time, I soap and massage his toned shoulders and strong back. Cupping my hand, I raise it and put water into Aiden’s hair. Using my fingers, I lather and massage shampoo into his dark hair, hoping this relaxes him. His head drops back against my shoulder, and I see a tear fall down his cheek.

Gently, I rinse the shampoo from his hair and pull his body back down against mine. Aiden’s normally taut body is slack in my embrace.

Without warning, I feel the muscles tighten in one arm as he takes my hand into his. He pulls it up to his mouth and softly kisses my fingertips, before letting his hand fall back into the water, still holding mine in his grasp.

I continue to hold him close, with my body swathed around him like a cocoon around a butterfly. We hold each other silently until the water cools.

“Let’s get out and I’ll fix you something to eat, Aiden.”

Shaking his head, he says, “I’m not hungry.”

“What do you need?” I fear I’m useless with trying to make him feel better during what must be one of the worst moments of his life.

Aiden, please let me do something to help you feel better. You’ve given me so much, let me give to you now.

Listless, he says, “Just lie in bed with me.”

I reach to grab a fresh towel out of the cabinet and help him get out of the tub. I take my time, drying him off before leading him to bed. I pull down the sheets and help him get underneath them. Lying down next to him, I stroke my fingers lightly along his naked back as he continues to stare off into nothing.

His heartbroken expression softens as he falls asleep.

For hours, I lie there next to him, but I cannot sleep. The day went from pure pleasure to absolute agony.

Is this what life in the outback is like?

Moonlight shines through the window, lighting Aiden’s face with a celestial glow in the dark room. He sleeps soundly, as I lean on my side, tracing my fingers along his jawline.

I never thought I would fall in love with a stockman of all people.

Whoa, did I just say that I’m in love with him?

CHAPTER TWENTY

WITH MY EYES STILL closed, I stretch out my arm, running my fingers across the smooth sheets, trying to find Aiden’s body. My eyes open and my heart sinks when I realise he’s not with me. I slip out of bed to find him, letting the duvet slide towards the floor.

The scent of brewing coffee wakes me as I cross the polished wood floors. After checking in the kitchen, I hear his voice calling out. “I’m in here.”

The voice came from the direction of the living room. I walk over and find him sitting on the couch wearing black underwear, with a mug of coffee resting in his hand.

He reclines back against the cushions, causing his abs to flex tightly, like a spring waiting to be uncoiled. He sips from the mug and looks my way.

Oh, how I want to run my fingertips against those abs and take you again, Aiden. But I’m not sure you’d be up for much after losing Dusty.

Staring at Aiden, I take a deep breath. “How are you?” I walk over and sit next to him on the couch, pulling my legs up and crossing them. With one hand, I curl my fingers over his rigid shoulder as he moves his hand onto my knee.

He rubs my leg, my soft skin awakening under the sensation of his touch. He looks up and wistfully stares out the window. “You up to having your first riding lesson this morning?”

My eyes widen. I’m wary to bring up anything that might remind him of his horse. “You sure you’re up for that?”

“Yeah, I think it’ll help.” He looks at me while stretching his arm out behind my shoulders, pulling me close. “Thanks for being there yesterday.”

I clasp my hands in my lap. “I’m sorry, Aiden.”

“Yeah, it’s a tough situation, but I’ve been through worse.” His expression softens as he takes my hand in his and lowers his gaze. “I’ve got to put it behind me, just like other things in my life. I’m just glad I have you here, otherwise, I’d probably still be out there lying in that paddock.”

Shaking my head, I think about how life out here can bring both pain and pleasure at the same time. Such extremes, be it emotions or the weather. I’m worried the Australian outback is too wicked in its ways for me. “I don’t know how you do it. I’m not sure I’m tough enough for the life you lead out here.”

Concerned, he lifts my chin up. “You’re tougher than you think, Holly. One thing you will learn out here is that if you’re patient and work hard, this country will reward you with more than you ever could have imagined.”

He hands me his cup and I take a sip of the warm coffee before looking down at my hands clenching around it. My lips purse as I question my ability to handle the way of life out here.

The loss, the harshness, the unpredictability of the Australian country. Can I deal with this? Maybe only with Aiden by my side. What would that life be like? The pleasure, the passion, the love.

Aiden leans over and kisses my neck. “Don’t question things so much, Holly. Trust me and trust the land.” He playfully slaps my knee. “Let’s go eat some brekkie and then get you on a horse.”

AFTER BREAKFAST, WE get dressed and head out towards the stables. As we step down off the veranda, Aiden takes my hand in his. His fingers tenderly entwine with mine.

Aiden notices some threatening clouds building darker around us. “We might get a few drops out of that.”

“Has there been any rain lately?”

“No, so it’d be good to get some.”

He leads me through some flowering bushes growing around the path that leads to the stables. Aiden reaches down, picks a flower, and hands it to me. I bring it to my nose, close my eyes and inhale its sweet perfume before putting it behind my ear.

Always flowers from Aiden. Do I have the courage yet to ask if he sent the roses to my office?

His voice interrupts my thoughts. “I figure we start by getting you acquainted with the horses. There are three mares here, two of which I think have a gentle enough temperament for you to learn on.”

I clear my throat as my voice cracks from nervousness. “You’re the one that knows this stuff, not me. I’ll just do what you say.”

“In time, you’ll learn that horses have their own personalities, and you have to build trust with them.” He pauses as he cocks his head to one side to look at me. “Sort of like what we do when we meet other people. Without trust, you won’t be able to ride safely.”

Inside the stables, Aiden points out two mares. “These two girls will be good to learn on.” He then motions towards the horse closest to me. “I think this one might actually be best because she’s a bit older.”

I point to the one mare he has not suggested I ride. “What’s wrong with riding on this one?”

He scratches at the stubble on his chin. “Well, she’s got a bit of a mean streak and is quite young. She was born while I was away, so I don’t know her too well yet. I’ve taken her out a couple times, but I don’t think she likes being ridden.”

I notice this horse looks a bit different from the other two. “I know I’m a woman and shouldn’t say this, but she looks heavier than the others. Is that normal?”

Perplexed, Aiden moves into the stall and looks over the young mare. He runs his hands against the flanks of the horse as he examines her. “You know, you’re right.”

Sensitive to the loss of Dusty, I speak in a low voice while Aiden keeps looking at the horse. “Is something wrong, Aiden?”

“No, not at all.” Once more, he looks over the mare and smiles. “If I didn’t know any better, I think she might be pregnant.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. And she’s only been around Dusty.”

“Oh, my God. Do you mean, she might be carrying Dusty’s offspring?”

His eyes fill with happy tears. “She most definitely would be, if she’s pregnant. I’ll have to get the vet out to check her over.”

Aiden comes out of the stall and walks towards me. He smiles as he grabs to hold my hand against his chest, just over his heart. “It would be good to have another little Dusty around. I’m going to miss him.”

I give his hand a squeeze. “I know you miss Dusty. I’m sorry you lost him.” My voice cracks as I speak. “It’s my fault. We could have gotten the snake if I had paid attention to where it went.”

Putting his finger up against my lips, “Don’t think it. It’s not your fault. You have to accept this is the way things are out here. It’s not always easy and you have to deal with it. Besides, for all we know, it may have been a completely different snake.” He takes my chin in his hand and looks into my eyes. “I’m just glad it wasn’t you. I couldn’t forgive myself if something bad happened to you.” He pulls me close and kisses me.

Loud rumbling crosses the sky over the stables.

Aiden looks towards the open door of the stables. “Not sure how much of a lesson we we’re going to have today.”

We walk outside and see the heavy clouds bearing down on us. The sky has blackened in the few minutes we were inside the stables. A gust of wind blows against us as we watch for lightning. We smell the scent of petrichor as a few heavy raindrops hit the ground.

Aiden looks at me and says, “I think we might wait on your lesson until this storm passes. How about we watch the storm from the swing on the veranda?”

“Sure.”

We run towards the house as the rain falls harder. We laugh as the heavy drops soak us. A flash of lightning streaks across the sky, its path as jagged as the journey I've been on.

Once we are safely on the veranda, Aiden turns me around and puts his hands around my waist. He pulls me against his damp shirt and places his full lips against mine.

I break our kiss and look into his eyes. “It’s good to hear your laugh, Aiden.” My stomach flutters from the rising adoration I have for him. I’ve never known someone so resilient.

I guess this is what Australians mean when they say someone is tough as nails.

Thunder crashes, shaking the surrounding earth around, but we stand unwavering in our embrace. In Aiden’s arms, I don’t fear what may happen next.

Nuzzling my nose, he says, “I love you, Holly.”

My pulse quickens as I give in to what my heart feels, completely ignoring anything else. In this moment, I know I only want to follow my heart from now on. “I love you, too.”

He lifts my chin to his and kisses me once again. We stand on the veranda, letting the wind blow the rain against us. Within minutes, we are completely drenched, but we don’t care. The world has stopped for us and all that matters is our passion and the words that have just sealed our fate.

A smile stretches across my face. He leans in and we nuzzle our noses together. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the flower has fallen from my hair onto the veranda. I remember the burning question of who sent me the flowers in my office.

With uncertainty and hesitation, I decide to ask about the roses. “You like to give a girl flowers, don’t you?” I watch his face, searching for recognition.

He scrunches his eyes as a warm smile crosses his face. “Yes, I do.”

I lower my head and close my eyes to hide from this potentially uncomfortable situation. “Did you send roses to me at my office?”

His smile widens as he pulls me closer, the rain still blowing straight onto us, soaking through our clothes. He raises his hand and pushes a wet lock of hair off my face, searching my eyes as he speaks. “Yes, I sent them.”

My heart skips a beat as I kiss him again.

We continue our embrace, drinking in one another while the drops of rain blow onto us, washing away the past as we look forward to the start of our future together.

LIGHTNING CONTINUES to crackle and thunder booms, rolling through the sky towards us as we remain in our embrace. I shiver and I press myself against Aiden’s wet body.

Feeling me trembling, he breaks our kiss. “I better get you inside and out of these wet clothes.”

I nod as we retreat inside the back of the house. As soon as we are in the kitchen, I seductively unbutton my shirt and slip it off, letting it fall to the floor, exposing my breasts. Confident and consumed by passion, I slide my pants off, rolling them down and bending over to pull them past my feet, while flashing a salacious look towards Aiden.

He has removed his shirt and discarded it onto the floor next to him. With trembling fingers, I help him remove his jeans, pushing them down his muscular legs until they drop to the floor. His hands caress my back, his fingers run through my wet hair, enticing me with what will come soon.

Goose bumps cover my body and Aiden rubs his strong hands against my damp skin, trying to generate warmth on my skin that matches the fire burning deep inside me. Leaving the wet clothes on the kitchen floor, we sprint naked up the stairs to get into a hot shower.

Under the stream of water, Aiden massages my shoulders and whispers into my ear. “Follow me to bed?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” A smile crosses my face as I relish the thought that out here, we really can stop to enjoy each other without that incessant pull to get on the internet or answer a phone the second it rings. No need to rush off to the shops, no need to catch up on a pile of work building up in an email inbox somewhere. No need to do anything as my everything is already here standing in front of me.

He gets out of the shower first and hands me a towel as I turn the water off.

Drying himself off, he looks and me and jokes. “I can’t believe you spotted that with the mare. I think I might be able to turn you into a Jillaroo after all.”

“Oh, you think?” I tease back as he lightly snaps me in the legs with the towel he’s holding.

Ding, Dong! Ding, Dong!

Aiden freezes in place, and his eyes widen in fear. He stares straight at me, placing his index finger against his lips. “Stay here. Don’t come out.”

I nod as dread overtakes my thoughts.

Who is at the front door?

My heart breaks as Aiden leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. Panic builds inside me and I cannot catch my breath.

Oh, no! Could it be the police to take me back to my old life? How do I go back to a life I no longer want?

I break into a cold sweat as I slump down against the tiled floor, wrapping myself in the towel I’m holding.

I’ve become so mesmerised by Aiden and his way of life that I’d forgotten I’m not meant to be here.

Will he wind up back in jail for taking me?

I tremble as I remember there might be people out there looking for me, thinking I need saving. What they don’t realise is that Aiden has been the one to save me from a life that has held me captive for years. He has shown me more freedom in the last week than I have felt my entire life.

In my mind, Aiden is no longer my captor. Instead, he is my liberator, my redeemer, my saviour.

My body shakes as my heart pounds full of adrenaline. I’m about to fall off a ledge and break into a million pieces that can never be put back together again.

How can something so beautiful be so wrong? Wait, this isn’t wrong. Being here with Aiden is more right than anything in my life has ever been. Dear God, please don’t take Aiden away from me.

EPILOGUE

THE BUSTLE OF THE COFFEE shop has picked up in pace, now that the lunch rush has started. I stop to order another latte and a panini while Kylie waits eagerly for me to tell her what happened next.

She begs, “Tell me. Who was at the door?” She stopped writing notes about my story hours ago and has just been listening intently to my every word.

I lean forward onto my elbows and answer, “Well...”

Find out what happens between Holly and Aiden in the second book of The Dusty Rider Series: Leading Hand

TEASER FOR LOST AND LOVE: THAILAND BY STELLA KNIGHTS

“YOU SEE, I FELL ASLEEP and forgot I left the...” The female voice trails off into my earpiece, drowned out by the repetitive sound of my fingers tapping against the keyboard.

No matter how hard I hit the keys, I cannot escape the pitiful excuse she gives for flooding her bathroom.

Is this really my life?

Examining my nails under the hideous fluorescent lights, I check to see how my lilac polish is holding up after all the typing. Manicures are the one guilty pleasure I allow myself in our budget. I could use a few more guilty pleasures, but my husband and I are trying so hard to pay our mortgage and have a little left over.  I sigh, forgetting to cover my microphone.

“Are you getting all this? You don’t seem to be listening. I need this fixed before my husband gets home.” The caller’s shrill voice ratchets up the tension headache building around my temples.

“Yes, ma’am. I’m going to get an emergency plumber and carpenter to your home as soon as possible.” I try to do that responsive, courteous voice that’s expected of me. But I honestly couldn’t care less about her stupidity and how she’s going to break the news to her husband that she screwed up again.

Usually, I feel bad for people when they make mistakes, but lately, my patience has worn thin.

“How long will this take? I’ve got a hair appointment at—”

“All I can tell you is a plumber will get to your home before the end of the day.” I try with all my might to sound cheerful like our training manual dictates, but my voice exudes everything but sunshine.

“What? This afternoon?” The woman screeches into the line. “I can’t possibly wait that long. I need someone now.”

Taking a slow breath, I remain calm. After a few years at this job, it still amazes me that people think screaming will make their insurance claim move faster. I guess since they can’t see my face, they believe it’s all right to verbally abuse me. “Ma’am, I have prioritised your situation, but that is all I can do.”

“Well, you’re a useless arse...”

Well, you’re the one who flooded your bathroom. I’m sure that makes you the arse, not me.

I bite my lip and wait for her to finish ranting. Again, just listening like the training manual advises. Sometimes, I swear it would be easier to yell back and explain I’m not that powerful. I’m simply a call centre worker on minimum wage trying to help every idiot that forgets to turn off their tap. The plumber is not my best friend, and I can’t order him to drop everything for a complete stranger.

She continues her rant. “You keep me on hold for over an hour and now you can’t do shit...”

I can see on my call registry she only waited thirteen minutes and twenty-four seconds before I answered her call. I’d love to correct her, but in training we were told never to correct the customer.

“Are you even in Australia? Or am I calling somewhere in fucking Asia?”

Speaking calmly, I answer her question, again in the manner we’ve been trained to. “Ma’am, I’m working from our office in Melbourne. I’ve got a view outside and can see it’s your typical rainy day.”

“Well, you don’t sound Australian, and I only want to deal with Australians. You fucking foreigners are taking all our...”

I guess she finally noticed my American accent. I’m not quite sure why she thinks talking to someone from her own nationality will affect how quickly her claim is processed.

Using my sweetest Southern drawl, I ask, “Would you like me to transfer you to a different representative and they can help you with your claim?” I hover my finger between the transfer button and the one that will hang up this insufferable call.

“Don’t you dare fucking transfer me. Just get a goddamn plumber to my house now or I’ll—”

Smirking, I accidentally disconnect the call. I’ll have to write in my notes that I mistakenly hit the wrong button because I was shaking with fear over the abusive rant she directed at me. Then again, that is my third accidental hang up this week, and it’s only Tuesday.

As I wait for the next caller, I scan around the room. Grey desks are arranged in pods with each person separated like a pizza slice waiting to be gobbled up by the mind-numbing abyss of a call centre. Supervisors walk around, constantly checking their tablets to make sure we’re online and poised to serve with a smile. Not that any customer can actually see us and our robotlike grins.

I haven’t had to fake this much happiness since some of the horrible sex I had in college. At least then I usually had a half-decent face to stare at or I was too drunk to care.

Staring at my computer screen, I’m still in denial that this is my real job. How is it that after all those years studying to get a biology degree, I’m stuck taking calls for an insurance company?

I thought I followed the right path in life. Go to college. Get a job. Get married. But the truth is, I forgot to ask what happens after that. Like, what am I meant to do now that I’m married to Johnny? I guess we could have kids, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that—

Interrupting my thoughts, my designated supervisor, Melinda, rings into my earpiece. She does this even though she’s standing a few metres behind me. “Savannah, you can take your break now.” Her nasal voice pierces my eardrums.

“Ok, thanks.” I grab the empty mug off my desk and bolt into the break room.

I press a few buttons on the coffee machine, hoping to get the right combination for a hot latte. Leaning against the countertop, I wait for the machine to do its thing.

The sound of falling paper pulls my attention across the room.

A poster has fallen onto the white tiled floor.

I bend over to pick it up and tack it back against the cork board. Checking to make sure it’s secure, I see it’s an ad for this year’s staff competition. It seems whoever wins ‘employee of the year’ will get an all-expense-paid holiday to Thailand.

I sigh, knowing I’m mediocre at best when it comes to this job, so there’s no point in deluding myself that I stand a chance to win. I could make the effort, but I don’t care enough to try. Too bad it’s not a competition for the most accidental disconnections.

This is not my career of choice, but according to everyone else I do work for a good company. So, for now, this is just a job of necessity to help pay the bills, mortgage, and somehow have enough left over to occasionally go out for dinner or a few drinks. I’m grateful to have a job and I realise that everything is a step towards something better. But lately, every day feels like I’m stuck on repeat and not getting anywhere.

Staring at the poster, I’m mesmerised by the white sand and palm trees.

Thailand would be a dream to visit.

I’ve wanted to go there ever since I met my friend Eileen the first day of middle school. She moved to America from Thailand and was one of the friendliest people I’d ever met. Her stories of jungle treks, temples and monks in bright saffron robes always captivated me.

My shoulders droop with the realisation that I have yet to make a trip to a country I’ve dreamed of visiting since I was twelve. I’ll have to add it to the list of things I thought I’d achieve by now. Right behind running my own company, losing fifteen pounds and eliminating world hunger.

One of my colleagues, Pam, saunters in and heads towards the cabinet above the coffee maker. “Hey, sweetie. How are you?” Her positivity fills the room every time she walks through a door. It’s no wonder she’s not only my co-worker but one of my closest friends.

“Hey.” I take a sip of coffee and yawn. “I’m all right.” My attempt at sounding upbeat fails and I see Pam’s expression soften.

She puts on the electric kettle and grabs a tea bag from the cabinet. “You don’t sound okay. What’s on your mind?”

Still staring at the poster, I sip from my mug. “I don’t know. Boredom. Fearing all my best years are behind me.”

She laughs. “Well, I hate to tell you but they are.”

“Not funny.” I gently smack her on the shoulder. “I’m being serious.”

“Try having a few kids waking you up all night and a husband that believes laundry and dishes magically get done by themselves. You’ll be too sleep deprived to have these thoughts.”

“Sorry, I know I shouldn’t complain.” I push my fringe to the side of my forehead. “People have it worse than me and I should be grateful instead of focusing on what’s missing.”

Pam’s right. I have a nice husband, a terrace home and a closet full of clothes. Things some people dream of having. So, why am I struggling with feeling like this isn’t enough?

“Oh, honey, complain away. It’s what friends are for.” Pam takes two gingernut cookies from the tray sitting in the middle of the table, hands me one then bites into the other. “What exactly is bugging you?”

“I can’t figure it out. Something feels off. But I don’t know what.”

“That’s life.” She smiles and drops a tea bag into her cup. “But I do know what you mean. Reality’s not always what we picture it to be. But hang in there. Things will get better eventually.”

Eventually? I’m not sure I’m patient enough right now to wait for things to change.

I sip my coffee. “Maybe.”

“Savannah, don’t let this job get to you. We all know it sucks, but there’s not much to choose from at the moment. I’ve lived long enough to know the economy will swing around and then you’ll be able to find someplace else to hate working.”

My stomach twists with anxiety.

I’m not sure it’s work that’s bothering me.

Pam smirks and bounces the tea bag twice before pulling it out and letting it plop onto the table. Not caring if it stains. “In the meantime, just do what you can to get through the day. Then after work come have a wine with me to drown your sorrows.”

“A drink would be good, but...” I glance over my shoulder to make sure we’re alone. “It’s more than just work that feels out of sync.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have this niggling feeling that won’t go away. Like I’m forgetting to do something. Or I misplaced something important. I keep looking around and searching, but I can’t quite put my finger on the problem.” I yawn and scan the room, my eyes skimming over the competition poster.

“Maybe you need to try something new. Like a hobby or something. What about doing a graduate degree?”

“I don’t think I could afford that right now. Johnny wants to pay down our bank loan before doing anything frivolous.”

“There are ways the government can help with paying for study.”

“True.” I drum my fingers against my mug. “But going to university would be a big commitment.”

“You could try learning a new language or something. One of the girls in accounting was talking about some French class she does once a week.”

“Hmm, that could be something I might enjoy. It would definitely occupy my time while Johnny is dealing with work during the week.”

As a real estate agent, I understand my husband’s job goes beyond a nine-to-five schedule. But for the last few years, he’s not allowed himself to take a moment to relax and completely disconnect from the pressure of making sales.

“Pam, what was it like for you and Ryan? Like after you two got married?”

“You mean after the sex-filled honeymoon phase was over?”

“Yeah.”

Pam exhales. “Honestly, about six months after we got married, I thought ‘holy shit, how do I get out of this?’ and at one point even considered leaving.”

Raising my brow, I try to hide my surprise. I never suspected my friend, who seems to have it all, went through difficult times in her marriage. “You wanted out?”

“Oh, yeah. You remember when you found out Santa wasn’t real?”

I nod and pick up another cookie.

“Well, it was sort of like that. I felt lied to, like marriage was bullshit and I was trapped.”

“What made you stay until things got better?” I lean closer and wait for Pam to give me one of her infamous pointers on how to handle life. I can always count on her to either cheer me up or set me straight.

Her eyes light up as she shakes her head. “Lots of fights, good makeup sex and the realisation that I could leave if I wanted to.”

“But you didn’t leave.” I sink into the cold plastic chair.

“Nope. I knew I loved him too much to leave. For months, almost a year, I watched him sitting on our couch drinking beer and yelling at football or cricket or whatever he was watching. I’d stare at him and wonder if I could truly give him up.”

“Your picture doesn’t sound that appealing.”

She grins and gives me a friendly slap on the shoulder. “Let me make my point before you say that.”

I laugh and put my palms up in defeat.

“I would picture him with another woman. The thought was so painful that I knew I wasn’t done with him yet. I couldn’t leave him even if he was excelling at being a lump on the couch while I took care of everything around us.”

I rest my knuckles against my lips. “That’s an interesting way to look at it. But was it really enough?”

“It was for me.”

“So, did you two find passion again?”

“We did. Things got better over time. But honestly, the passion part was never a problem. My grandmother used to say that as long as you have passion, everything will be okay. Because when you have that, then you aren’t really done with the person. Even if you think you are. She loved to point out that passion comes in two forms, the romantic kind and its opposite, when you fight. So, I always saw our fighting as a good thing. And I knew to start worrying if he stopped arguing back.”

I stare at my hands wrapped around my mug. “Johnny and I never fight.”

Pam grimaces and scans over the cookies, stopping to pick up another gingernut. “Never?”

I shrug. “Nope.”

“Hmm.” She bites her cookie but says nothing.

Tilting my head, I glance at her. “You think that’s a bad sign?”

Melinda pokes her head through the break room doorway. “Savannah, we needed you back on the phone like two minutes ago.”

I roll my eyes and stand. “I better get back to work. Melinda already warned me once this week that I could be fired.”

Pam waves her hand in the air. “Don’t worry about that woman. She threatens that all the time, but I’ve never seen her actually follow through with firing anyone.”

I grumble, “She’s so going to be the death of me. I need this job, but I don’t want to have to grovel again during my next performance review.”

Laughing, Pam jokes, “Just tell her you love her red lipstick.”

“Pam!” I smirk and hold back my laughter. “Be nice.”

“Never.”

The last few weeks Melinda has been walking around with her latest lipstick colour smeared across her teeth. She’s unfortunately become the butt of many office jokes because of it. As much as everyone loves to make fun of her, I’d rather not partake in it. I can’t fault her with trying to look good while doing a difficult job. I’m sure it’s not easy being the boss and putting up with pressure from senior management. But it would be easier to take her seriously if she didn’t have such a glaring faux pas.

I grab my mug and push my chair against the table. “Back to the grind.”

As I turn to leave, Pam reaches for my hand. “Don’t stress so much. Johnny’s a nice guy. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

I force a smile. “Yeah, but sometimes he’s too nice.” Like when he helps everyone else and then he’s too exhausted to have time for us.

“Count your blessings, honey. You guys are still in the early years of marriage. Just relax and give things time. Marriage is a roller coaster, and you might just be at the bottom of your next big upward run.”

“I hope so.” I exhale and walk towards the door, trying to picture my husband being a lump on our couch. Actually, if he was, then that would mean he was home more. So, maybe I do want it that way.

Pam hollers as I leave the break room, “Come over to my house and have a drink with me.”

AFTER WORK, I WALK to the train station, meandering along the busy platform, hoping to find a seat while I wait. Sighing, I give up and let myself be lost amongst the standing crowd.

Everyone is staring at their phones, not noticing, or just simply ignoring, the homeless woman panhandling near the stairs. A pregnant woman stands near me, tightly gripping a pram filled with a sleeping toddler.

I flash her a smile and then look at her child.

Are we ready to take that step? A baby would definitely be something new.

Staring at the sleeping child, it doesn’t seem too hard. But I know it must be more work than I could imagine. And it would be better to wait until we’re in a better financial position.

The woman bends awkwardly to rub her ankle.

Glancing around, I try to find an empty seat for her without any luck.

A few people look fit enough to stand and give up their seats. Unfortunately, they’re too engrossed with their tablets or smartphones to notice that someone needs their seat more than they do.

I glance at a teenager bobbing his head to whatever music is coming through his headphones. He must be listening to some latest trap hit, but then again it’s been so long since I’ve had a night out dancing that I’m not sure what the latest craze is.

The train pulls up to the platform. People move back from the doors, creating a haphazard gap to give disembarking passengers a chance to exit. Within seconds, the herd of waiting people heaves against the entrance.

Pushing my way through the crowded car, I grab onto a handle to keep from falling when the train lurches forward.

The woman next to me chats loudly on her phone as though she is not surrounded by a hundred strangers. She giggles and pushes back her violet ombre hair. “Yeah, I’m so excited. We head to Bangkok next week.”

Bangkok. Isn’t that the capital of Thailand?

She bumps into the man next to her as the train jiggles along the track. “I’m going to shop and hit the Sky Bar. It’s going to be wild.”

The woman’s voice and her level of excitement begins to grate on me. But I know it’s only bothering me because I’m jealous she’s able to escape and go on a holiday.

Shaking my head, I glance at the smartly dressed man standing mere centimetres away from me.

He raises his eyebrows in agreement about the annoying behaviour of the vociferous woman.

The train comes to a halt. Both the businessman and woman disembark.

As the train moves forward again, the woman’s words ring through my ears.

Wild. Crazy time.

That’s what’s missing. A wild, crazy trip is exactly what Johnny and I need.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

THANK YOU TO ALL THE beautiful souls that helped make this book a reality. Without your support and encouragement, my ideas wouldn’t have become the story I wished it to be. I would like to send out a special thank you to the editors and critiquers that helped push me to go further with my writing. You have truly shown me the power of words.

To all those who read my book I hope I inspire you to break out of any prison you may feel stuck in. Follow your heart and live a life that makes you happy.

Lastly, I want to thank all the people that work in rural Australia. Without you and your tireless efforts, Australia would not be the amazing country I think it is.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

STELLA KNIGHTS HAS lived and worked in several countries across four continents, journaling her life experiences along the way. Blurring the lines between her reality and dreams, Stella found the courage to share her stories in hope that she will inspire others with her love of travel and living life the simple way.

Having spent a good part of her life in Australia, Stella wrote her first novel series based on things she experienced and learned while living there. Stella hopes that The Dusty Rider Series opens others to the resilience, hardship, beauty and eternal love of those living in the Australian bush.

CONNECT WITH STELLA KNIGHTS

IF THIS STORY HAS STIRRED you in any way, Stella would love to hear from you at her email: knightsstella@gmail.com

OR THROUGH HER FACEBOOK page at:

www.facebook.com/stellaknightstheauthor

YOU CAN ALSO FIND STELLA Knights on Instagram at:

www.instagram.com/stella_knights_the_author

KEEP WATCHING FOR OTHER stories and novels by Stella Knights along with the next book in The Dusty Rider Series.

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Also by Stella Knights

Lost and Love

Lost and Love: Thailand

The Dusty Rider Series

Taken Outback