The Rules Regarding Gray

Elizabeth Finn

ElizabethFinnFiction.com

The Rules Regarding Gray

By Elizabeth Finn

Copyright © 2014 Elizabeth Finn

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.

This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents and dialogues in this book are of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental.

Basically: Please don’t steal my work. I work hard to make a living to support myself and my child, and I appreciate your support very much when you pay for my books. This story came entirely from my weirdo brain that usually keeps my head in the clouds for long periods of time. If you’re lucky enough, or unlucky enough depending on the chapter you happen to be reading, to experience such a journey as I’ve created, then way to go you! But it is nothing more than mere coincidence.

Dedication

Thank you to my dearest alpha beta babe, Anna. Your excitement is infectious, and your energy is palpable—even from so far away.

Warning

This e-book is intended for mature audiences and contains adult language and scenes.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Epilogue

Blurb – The Rules Regarding Gray

Gracelynn is drowning in an existence that fails to fulfill her. A ballerina by trade, she’s devoted her life to the stage, sacrificing adventure for discipline. When her boyfriend gives her permission to want what she’s not supposed to want, can she walk away? Or will she leap?

Jasper isn’t a man with many boundaries, and “sharing” a woman with his best friend is hardly a new endeavor. But the moment he meets Gracelynn he realizes she’s different. She leaves him feeling alive in a way he’s not used to, and for the first time in his life, he understands what it means to be wanted… Cherished… And he needs more…

But there are rules—rules that forbid Jasper from truly having her. As forbidden desire spirals out of control, Jasper has to decide if he’s willing to fight for something that doesn’t truly belong to him. His best friend doesn’t deserve her, but is Jasper strong enough to believe he does?

Chapter One

“What do you think of her?”

“What her are you referring to? They all look the same from here.” Jasper glanced away dismissively. He’d been more or less forced to be here, and there was no chance he was going to make it easy on Ian.

Ian chuckled, and Jasper glanced to him quickly, rolling his eyes. He’d been rolling his eyes since they’d pulled up at The Butler Dance Education Center. This wasn’t really his type of venue, and he stuck out like a sore thumb in a place like this.

“Besides, when did you start to like the ballet?” Jasper continued.

“Like it? I’m a donor for fuck sake.”

“What?” Jasper hissed incredulously. It wasn’t often his oldest friend in the world shocked the shit out of him, but that had certainly done it.

Ian glanced at him. “Listen,” he cocked his head, talking quietly. “I don’t like the ballet. I like ballerinas. Specifically, I like the one down there dancing the solo. Donating makes me look good.” Ian chuckled again.

“To who? The soloist?”

“Sure. Her and everyone else. It’s a tax write off. And she’s not called a soloist; she’s called a principal.” Ian studied him for a moment. “I’ve been dating her for four months, and you still haven’t answered my question. What do you think of her?”

“What’s her name?”

“Gracelynn. She goes by Gray.”

Jasper shook his head. “Gray? Really? That’s a name?”

“Well, whatever you do, don’t call her Grace. She hates that nickname.”

They’d obviously been out of touch too long for Ian to have started a relationship Jasper knew nothing about with a ballet dancer who answered to the name of a color—and not an interesting color at that. He and Ian were sitting on the end of a row about half way up in the studio theater, and as he glanced down to the floor level stage, he saw a sea of lithe, trim bodies, leotards, and pink tights. He saw one head after another adorned with a bun. What he couldn’t see was enough detail to be able to make a judgment on her appearance from fifty feet away.

“Stop, stop, stop! What the heck was that, Gracelynn?” A man leapt up from his front row seat and started walking toward the middle of the stage to who Jasper could only assume was Ian’s new gal.

“Sorry. Lost my concentration.” The rather small looking woman had her hands on her hips as she walked around in an arc, catching her breath as she moved. She meandered about with her toes turned out. Why the hell did they do that? Were the toes of her shoes so fucking heavy she had to drag them around?

“Work on your attitude tonight. Your leg looked sloppy.” The older man spoke pointedly and sternly to her again.

“Yes, sir.” The young woman glanced toward them, but then her eyes returned to the man again.

“She’s fucking incredible,” Ian commented from beside him.

An older woman sitting a couple rows in front of them suddenly whipped around to stare daggers at them, and Ian shrugged his shoulders in response.

“Sorry about that,” Jasper apologized to her as she stood and walked down the row to the stairs, scowling at them as she moved. “He doesn’t get out much.” He looked back to Ian, laughing quietly. “How do you survive in the corporate world with a mouth like that?” He chuckled some more.

“Like I was saying, she’s incredible. Better?” Ian smirked.

“Sure. If you like small tits. Now, are you going to tell me why I’m really here, or are you just wanting to show off your new toy?”

“Take ten guys!” the man from the stage hollered.

Before Ian could respond to his question, the titless, slim principal was walking toward them. Of course, she did have tits. They were small and perky, and her nipples were hard and taut under the tight fabric of her leotard. He’d been around plenty of scantily clad women, but none who made it look so professional and elegant as this one. Her gait was graceful, her shoulders dropped to elongate her slim neck, and when she approached, she glanced to him curiously before turning her attention to Ian.

“To what do I owe the honor?” She smiled at Ian. Her skin was young and smooth, pale but pristine, and her eyes were an amazing emerald green. Her hair was auburn and pulled up in a tight, neat bun. She was entirely too young for Ian’s thirty-four years he was guessing.

“I wanted to introduce you to my friend Jas. We just had lunch at Moonshine.”

She glanced at him again. “So, you’re Jasper—the debaucherous sidekick from back in the early days of Ian’s childhood.” She smiled at him, and his attention was pulled to her straight white teeth and her pink lips.

He returned her smile. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I always kind of thought of him as my sidekick, but you got me on the debauchery.” He winked and glanced away aloofly.

“Well, it’s good to meet you regardless, Jas.”

His eyes returned to hers as she stretched out her arm to him, offering him her hand regardless of the rather dismissive way he was acting. He clasped her hand in his own. Her fingers felt just as slim and delicate as her body looked, and he had to quickly pull his eyes up from their downward path along her frame.

“You as well, Gray-short-for-Gracelynn-but-never-Grace.” He stared at her, holding tight to her hand for a moment longer than he likely should.

Her cheeks blushed, and then she laughed. When her focus shifted to Ian, she spoke. “Well, I better get back at it. Will I see you later?”

“Would you like to see me later?” Ian remarked with a seductive smirk.

She smiled sweetly at him, but as Ian stood and leaned to her lips, capturing them quickly with his own, her eyes flit to Jasper’s. He was studying her, and he didn’t bother looking away as Ian kissed her and pulled her body into his. Jasper caught the way her eyes bounced around nervously, but he ignored it, letting his own gaze wander down the side of her body. The hand Ian had on her lower back pulled her close to his groin, and it arched her back. Her bottom was round and tight, and he exhaled deeply as his mind betrayed his coolness by smacking him with an image of himself kneeling behind her with his face buried between those small round cheeks.

“Good to finally meet you, Jasper.”

“Hmm?” He struggled to regain his composure for a moment as his focus returned to her eyes. She watched him curiously for a second, saying nothing at all.

“Oh, yeah. Good to meet you too. And just call me Jas.”

She pecked Ian on the cheek one last time, and then she turned and headed back down to the stage. He gave his eyes only a moment to wander over her figure lest he slide back into that damn lustful side of his consciousness. “She’s lovely,” he commented with little inflection.

Ian wasn’t fooled by his aloofness, and he chuckled. Jealousy wasn’t Ian’s thing nor was it Jasper’s, so resentment wasn’t really a concern for either of them. Competitiveness, on the other hand…

“Yes, she is. She’s also tight as fucking hell, and she likes her sex.”

“Is she even old enough to like sex?”

Ian laughed. “She’s twenty-seven. She’s practically retirement age for this profession.”

“That may well be, but you’re aware you’re thirty-four, right?”

Ian shrugged. “Age means nothing.”

“It means plenty to a walking cock like you.” Jasper shook his head as he stood, but his eyes were wandering again, and they seemed to naturally trail up to the expansive stage where Gray was now walking around stretching her arms, her neck, her hips.

Jasper stepped by Ian toward the aisle, tossing over his shoulder as he went, “I need to get back to—”

“You wanna try her?” Ian’s question was spoken casually.

Jasper stopped cold in his tracks, refusing to look back for a moment. When he finally did turn, it was just to see Ian grinning up at him. Jasper glanced toward the stage again before he could stop himself, but he pulled his attention back to Ian sitting in front of him. Best friend or no, Ian had definitely managed to catch him off guard this time.

“Go fuck yourself,” Jasper commented coolly, but the sudden race of his heart told a different story—one he wasn’t willing to share with Ian. “Four months. Isn’t that a record for you?”

Ian nodded.

“‘She’s incredible.’ Your words, not mine. So, why do you want to go screw up a good thing?”

“Not like you and I haven’t done it before.” Ian’s eyebrows were cocked as he studied Jasper.

“I take it you’ve not mentioned this little … idea of yours to her.”

“No. I haven’t. But—”

“I suggest you keep it that way.”

“And why’s that?”

“What happens if you want to marry this woman someday? You really want to wonder if your bride is fantasizing about your best man on that day because you decided to let him stick his dick in her?”

“Wow. So now I’m marrying this gal.”

Jasper blew out an exasperated breath. “She’s your girlfriend. This isn’t some casual fling or some woman one of us picked up at the bar. My answer is no.” He did walk away then—straight out of the building to his car parked at the curb.

When he slid into the driver’s seat, he laughed quietly, but then his laughter abruptly stopped, and he stared at his steering wheel as his fingers tightened on it. He’d driven Ian to Butler Center after lunch, and now he was leaving him behind to fend for himself. The fucker deserved it for dropping that bomb on him, and as Jasper pulled out into the busy downtown Austin traffic, he cursed his oldest friend in the world. “You stupid fuck,” he muttered, winding his way through traffic.

He stopped at a light, and when a tall slim beauty walked through the cross walk, she checked him out, lowering her sunglasses as she eye fondled him. He glanced at her quickly, but his mind was elsewhere. He was thinking about nothing but the lithe, graceful, and rather boyishly built Gray.

She wasn’t his type. He liked tits entirely too much, and he liked his women blonde as well. He was just shallow that way, he supposed, but he was allowed to be. He was single—perpetually and intentionally. What he didn’t like was his friend dangling a piece of ass in front of him and expecting him—

Honk! Honk!

The angry blare of a car horn from behind him jumpstarted his heart, and he cursed at the driver as he glared into his rearview mirror and stepped on the gas. When his phone rang moments later, he snatched it up from the console. He grumbled when he saw Ian’s number on the screen, and he contemplated not answering.

“What the fuck do you want?” he growled out as he answered.

“Oh!” She busted out laughing awkwardly for a moment. “Well, fuck you too,” Gray commented sarcastically.

He mouthed the word fuck silently as he shook his head, and then he cleared his throat as her laughter trailed off.

“Sorry.” He was muttering as he still shook his head. “Umm… What’s up?”

He pulled his car over to the side of the road, and he put it into park. He was perfectly capable of driving and talking at the same time, but he wasn’t at all sure he could manage it at the moment.

“Well, Ian said we should invite you to dinner this weekend. Then he said you’d say no if he asked, and he tossed me the phone after hitting send. Sorry. I’m sure that took you by surprise about as much as me.” She laughed quietly.

“All sorts of things have taken me by surprise today, so it’s apparently just par for the course.” He was silent for a moment. “He was right. I’d have said no.” His voice was just a bit too quiet.

“You know, for being his best friend you sure don’t seem to like him very much.”

He could hear Ian in the background. “Asshole likes me just fine.”

“I don’t actually like him very much at all right now, and you can tell him I said that,” he commented wryly.

She ignored his permission to pass along his anger for him, and she focused her attention on him instead. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re upset with him?”

There was something very warm and soothing about her voice, and he instantly propped his elbow on the open window of his car and let his head drop to his hand. He scratched his brow. “I don’t think that would be a very good idea.”

“Hmm… Then come to dinner Saturday night at Ian’s. You two can work out your differences.”

“You think so, do you?”

“Mm-hmm.”

He chuckled. “Saturday’s a busy night for me.”

She said nothing, and he rubbed his forehead as he tried to work this out.

“Okay,” he finally muttered.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Listen, I better go before I change my mind.” He practically hung up on her then.

Chapter Two

“You didn’t tell me he was so—”

“Good looking?” Ian finished for her.

She laughed. “No. I was going to say…” What the hell was she going to say? “I don’t know. Stand-offish. Prickish. Hard to read. That’s for sure.” She glanced at Ian over her shoulder as she rinsed a zucchini in the sink.

She was still shocked Ian was even there. He never came to her loft. He hated it there, or she assumed he must. He didn’t say as much, but his blatant refusal to spend time with her in her own home said plenty—though she had no idea what.

“Prickish, huh?”

“You heard me. And clearly you pissed him the hell off about something.” She returned to her vegetables, not really caring to look at him while she waited to see if he’d tell her exactly what had happened. “Did it have something to do with me?” She angled her head, still refusing to look at him. She wasn’t sure why exactly, but she had this nagging suspicion they’d spoken about her behind her back, and she wasn’t at all sure what to make of that.

When Ian’s arms wrapped around her waist from behind her body, she jumped.

“Chill,” he murmured against her neck, sending a shiver over her skin. “What are you worried about? You think my handsome, nefarious best friend is going to hit on you? Trust me, you’re not his type.” His hands snaked up under her shirt. She was as braless on this night as she was every day of her life, and when his hands covered her small breasts, he squeezed. “He’s a tit man, and he needs more of a handful than what you have to offer.” He squeezed again. “I, on the other hand, have accepted your flaws—”

She shrugged out of his hands, ducking out from underneath his arms. She crossed her arms on her chest, feeling a bit like a shmuck as she turned toward him.

“Flaws?”

He chuckled. “I’ve never known you to be defensive about your figure—”

“Flaws?” She tried to temper the shrill incredulity in her voice. “I’m not being defensive. You’re being rude.” It happened regularly with him—something about being wealthy and powerful she suspected, though she hardly called it a valid excuse when a comment like that would pop out of his mouth unrestrained.

He smirked, but then his eyes cooled, and his expression did too. Ian had a way of passively offending her sometimes and leaving her unsure exactly what she was offended at or even if she had the right to be offended, and she knew it was going to happen. Three… Two… One—

“Besides, you’re not blonde enough or tall enough to catch his eye either. He tends to attract the voluptuous bombshells, and you’re … just not built that way. It’s okay,” he reassured her.

And there it was. The offense. And more than that, the struggle to justify her offense. Jasper was nothing to her, nothing at all but an aloof man she didn’t know and wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but … she suddenly felt inadequate, as though Jasper had hurt her feelings, when in truth, it was Ian who’d orchestrated this.

She pushed past him at the sink, once again choosing vegetables over him, but she couldn’t help but bite back. “Blondes? How superficial and oh-so very cliché,” she remarked.

She let her hands mindlessly scrub the veggies as her brain wandered to images of Jasper’s cool hazel gaze. He’d watched her passively as she’d walked toward them in the studio theater, and she’d instantly felt something like cold heat coursing through the pit of her stomach. It was the eyes. “What’s his heritage? Is he Samoan, or…?”

“Partly. White too. Why?”

She froze for a moment, and then she turned around, holding a red pepper in her hand casually to hide her nerves. This was odd territory if nothing else—discussing another man’s look with one’s boyfriend. “No reason. He just has an … interesting look.”

He was striking, actually. He was tall and strong, and his skin was a beautiful olive color. But that wasn’t the most striking part of his composition. It was the eyes. They were a light hazel that completely diverged with his subtle Pacific Island Samoan look, and that’s where the cool, yet searing, heat had come from. He wore his dark hair just shy of his shoulders in a layered casual cut that looked thoughtless, not something she usually fancied on men. But his hair was wavy, glossy, and shined enviably. His goatee and five o’clock shadow made him look dangerous in a way, but his pink lips were oddly and sweetly supple, and she’d struggled not to look at them when she’d met him.

He’d been wearing worn, but fitted, jeans and an old eclectic T-shirt. She shouldn’t be surprised at his casual appearance given what she knew of him, but it was such a stark contrast to Ian who epitomized and perfected the straight laced white collar persona. Ian, in contrast, might have dark hair too, but it was far shorter and always perfectly styled. He looked out of place in pretty much anything but a suit, and he kept his face completely shaved smooth. He was a handsome man as well, and he gave power suit its power. But what a difference. To think they were best friends was almost laughable.

“He does have an interesting look—one women seem to find very appealing. You too, if I’m not mistaken.”

She shook her head. “No. That’s not what I meant—”

But Ian just smiled as he lounged against the kitchen counter across from her. “Calm down. We may be competitive on occasion, but Jas and I don’t do jealousy. Never have. So you needn’t worry about offending me. He’s a good looking man. I don’t care if you think so.”

“Well, I don’t think so. He can keep his cliché blondes. I like my man in a suit.” She turned back to the sink, hiding the heat in her cheeks.

As she cut vegetables, he drank a glass of wine and watched her. He never once lifted a hand to help, and by the time she’d cut zucchini, onion, peppers, mushrooms, and tomatoes, she was starting to fume. She supposed it was no different than her own father was with her mother, but she was tired, and having his attention follow her around the kitchen as she cut, rinsed her knife, scraped the cutting board into the sauté pan, seasoned, warmed the tortillas, all left her blood boiling.

He sat at the table and waited for her to finish, and when she finally sank into the chair across from him, she sighed and she glared. “You could have helped, you know,” she chastised as she started filling a tortilla with the vegetables.

He snorted. “You said you’d cook dinner if I came over.” He snatched a tortilla from the plate, and then he peered into the pan. “No meat?”

She just stared at him for a moment, but then she stood, walked to the fridge, grabbed a package of deli turkey, and threw it at him over the kitchen counter to the table. She smirked then, sticking her tongue out at him, and he chuckled.

“Will you rub my feet for me?” she asked sweetly, forcing her smile to be appeasing.

“If you rub mine first.” He scowled at the vegetables he was scooping into his tortilla.

“I’ll rub yours first when you spend eight hours on them during a day.”

He scoffed. “Not like anyone forced you to be a dancer.”

She sighed. She was almost regretting asking him over. Maybe a quiet night at home was what she’d needed, and she’d mistaken that need for veggie fajita’s and the world’s biggest example of spoiled-only-child-syndrome in the flesh. But when she looked up at him again, he was grinning at her. He winked and then let his leg trail up the inside of hers as a warm tremor radiated out into her body.

* * * *

Gray woke up to Ian’s naked skin surrounding her. He wasn’t overly large at six foot tall, but he was sure as hell larger than her small frame, and when she woke up, she was sweating and uncomfortable.

She walked into the bathroom, closing the door before she turned the light on, and then she yawned as she wandered to the sink, turned the faucet on, and flushed her face in cold water. She peered up at herself in the mirror, and she stared. Even stooped over, her breasts had no fullness to them. They weren’t mosquito bites, but they were little more than that. She was judging her breasts as she stood in the bathroom in the middle of the night. Odd… The thing was, she’d always liked her smaller tits just fine.

When she stood upright she stared at them, and when she covered one with the palm of her hand, she squeezed. She didn’t even fill her own palm, and she let out a huff of breath as she released her hold on herself. Her pale skin instantly flushed pink where her hand had been gripping her breast. “Small tits are dancer’s tits,” she commented quietly to herself. It wasn’t really her comment though. She’d heard it more times than she could recall—largely from dancers who had, well … small tits. A convenient expression.

When she wandered back out to the kitchen to get a drink, she left the lights out. Her loft was large and open with incredibly high ceilings and expansive arched windows that let in a yellowish-pink light from the city streetlamps below. There was nothing at all but open space separating her from Ian who was snoring softly in her bed, sprawled out in the middle.

When Ian’s cell phone vibrated across the kitchen counter, she picked it up, glancing at it. “JAS” flashed on the screen, and she set it down for a moment before picking it up again.

“What the fuck do you want?” she asked dryly as she answered.

Jasper’s warm chuckle returned to her, and she smiled. He had a deep voice, and his quiet laughter sent that warmth straight through the phone and into her body.

“Well, if it isn’t my new friend Gray. You have a thing for Ian’s phone, I see.”

“He’s asleep. You realize it’s two-thirty in the morning?”

“I do. I just closed up for the night, and I wanted to see if he was still up.”

“I’m afraid he’s not.”

“Hmm… So, since you’re dating my best friend, I feel like I should know something about you.”

She imagined his eyes watching her as she listened to his voice. He not only had beautiful eyes, but she’d noticed instantly he had this expression that suggested his brows were permanently arched in this rather cool, cocky sort of way. The look seemed to imply the world was nothing more than a thing to be smirked at. And she couldn’t help but wonder if it was exactly that to him.

“Well, what would you like to know?” She was talking quietly.

“Where do you come from? What’s your story?”

She sighed, collapsing onto the barstool that sat at the kitchen island. “Umm… I’m from Boise, Idaho originally. My parents moved to Austin when I was eight when my dad’s job was transferred, and I started taking dance lessons through the Ballet Austin Academy. I eventually moved into their apprentice program and was then contracted through the Ballet Austin Company. I made principal a few years ago. My father was transferred back to Idaho for his job around the same time, and I stayed behind. They work hard. They’re a few years from retiring now, and they’re getting ready to take their first overseas vacation.” She shrugged her shoulders as though he could see her. “My family is about as run-of-the-mill normal as you can get. Not much more to say than that.”

“Oh, I bet there’s plenty to say.” He was silent for a moment, and she didn’t push the conversation any. “I have to say, I don’t think about professional ballet when I think about Austin, Texas.”

She chuckled. “We’re a small company in comparison to New York or Chicago. But we’re a good company, and in truth, I have more opportunities here. Besides, I love Austin. It’s home now—even if my voice doesn’t have quite the requisite twang to it.”

She stood, wandering over to her practice area. She had a large twenty foot by twenty foot square of pristinely polished wood floors that sat in the back corner of her loft, and the two exterior walls that framed the space were lined in mirrors with a rail mounted to them.

She let her fingers brush gently over the wooden rail as she watched herself in the mirror. She was naked as a jaybird, and the soft pink from the street lamps outside the front of her building illuminated the side of her body that was closest to the front of her loft.

Jasper laughed again. “Well, I have no twang either, so don’t feel bad. I thought you were plenty good today.” He cleared his throat. “Your dancing, I mean.”

“Didn’t you hear the choreographer? My attitude is shit.” She gripped the bar with her free hand, and she turned out her left foot, bending her knee slightly as she lifted her right leg behind her. It was nearly mindless at this point, and she bent her right leg in a ninety-degree angle from her body as she lifted it higher behind her. She pulled up her chest and dropped her shoulders to elongate her neck, and she studied herself.

“I heard the choreographer plenty, and if you ask me, his attitude is shit.”

She busted out laughing loudly then, losing her position for a moment as her leg fell, but she regained control, lifting her leg again and studying her body. Ian moaned, snorted, and then started snoring again from the opposite front corner of the loft. “It’s a dance position. Not attitude as in behavior. Attitude as in a modified … arabesque I suppose you could say.”

“I see. Well the choreographer’s attitude still sucked.”

“Oh, he has his moments.” She reached back with her free hand, pulling her leg up behind her back, her foot over her head. It wasn’t an easy position when her other hand was holding a phone to her ear, but she focused, and she stretched her body. “They all do. This is actually off-season for us, and we’re just getting into rehearsing our repertoire now for the start of our fall season.”

“Interesting. So, tell me, what is it you love about dancing?”

She dropped her leg and then lifted it to rest on the bar. It was ridiculously lewd given her nakedness. It opened up the space between her legs, and the cool air around her tickled and taunted her skin. “Umm…” She reached to her breast, letting her hand glide over the small swell. “There’s something incredibly… I don’t know… Arousing in some way. It’s like—”

“Fucking?”

Her breath left her gasping out a nervous laugh. “Uh… I suppose they have their similarities.” Her hand dropped from her breast, and she lowered her leg, staring at her body straight on.

“Well, then, how lucky you are.”

She laughed as she wandered over to one of the large arched windows that sat in the front corner of her loft, and she stared down at the streetlamps below. “So, you grew up with Ian in San Diego, right?” She’d been silent too long by the time she spoke.

“Mm-hmm. From the time I was in middle school. I was new to the area. No one much liked me, and after I got in more fights than I could keep track of in my first month there and got suspended twice, Ian apparently thought I was cool enough to hang out with.”

“Why didn’t anyone like you?”

He hummed for a moment. “I was a bit rough for Torrey Highlands. I was only there because my mom split and my dad and I couldn’t get along. He shipped me off to live with my grandmother. She fit in to her upper class neighborhood perfectly. Me … not so much. My mother was Samoan enough that not even my dad’s genetic contribution to my DNA could help me fit in there.”

“I’m sorry,” she offered quietly.

“Don’t be. Kids are just kids. They don’t know how to deal with what they’ve never had to deal with before. And I had one hell of a chip on my shoulder too.” He chuckled for a second, but it wasn’t humor she was hearing in his voice. “I’d grown up dirt poor. My grandmother had cut my father off financially when he started … oh … let’s say getting in some legal trouble. My father could never hold down a job because he was too hung over to function most days, and my mom was no better. My grandmother tried to help out with me financially, but she knew full well any money she gave my parents would go to either drugs or alcohol. Then my mom split, and my dad dumped me off on my grandmother. It should have been my saving grace, but … you toss me into Torrey Highlands yuppy-ville public schools, and I’m not sure it’s so surprising I struggled to make friends.”

“So you beat the shit out of people instead of playing nice,” she chided.

“Something like that.” He took a deep breath, and he sighed.

She wasn’t sure if that meant he was getting bored with this conversation or not. “Was your dad an alcoholic?” She cringed at how personal that question was—not to mention the fact she’d been willing to ask it of a man who was little more than a stranger to her.

He hummed for a second. “He was an addict period. Not a very nice one, either. Though, I can’t say he was any nicer when he was sober.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s twice now you’ve apologized about my life. You’re starting to make me feel sorry for myself.”

She laughed quietly.

“So… what should I bring to Ian’s for dinner on Saturday?”

She smiled. “You cook?”

“If I didn’t, I’d have starved long ago.”

She was humming that time. “Don’t worry about bringing anything. We’ll handle it.”

Ian started murmuring in his sleep, moaning out her name as she listened to the bedding being rustled around.

“Listen, I better go.” She wandered back over to the kitchen, standing at the counter. “I’ll let Ian know you called tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah. Have a good night, Gray.”

“You too.”

She disconnected and then crept back to her bed, squeezing in beside Ian as his sleepy subconscious refused to move from his place in the middle of the bed. She sighed, turning away from him and trying to get comfortable. She definitely should have opted for a night alone.

Chapter Three

Jasper watched as Gray’s eyes bulged when he entered the kitchen at Ian’s house that Saturday night. She was standing at the stove, and as she turned, her eyes took in the six bottle wine carrier he’d gotten from the liquor store.

“Wow. You must think I can hold my alcohol,” she commented.

“I asked Ian what you liked. He said red. I said what kind, and he said—”

“He didn’t have a clue did he?”

“Nope.”

She wiped her hands on a dishtowel, and as she approached him, he inhaled slowly and deeply. She smelled amazing. It was citrusy, but sweet, and as she stood up on her tiptoes to peer at the bottles he held, it brought that scent straight into his nostrils. She twisted and lifted the bottles one by one, checking out the labels, and when she found one she liked, she smiled up at him.

“Malbec. Good choice.”

“I’m not sure one good pick out of six makes me much of a sommelier, but I’m glad that’ll work for you,” he commented as he moved to the drawer where he knew he’d find the wine bottle opener. He left the remaining five bottles in the carrier on the counter, and as he turned around and leaned against the counter, he started on the bottle and she watched him. Her lips pulled up sweetly moments before she turned back to the stove.

“Where’s Ian?” he asked casually as he started twisting the corkscrew into the top.

She cocked her head toward him. “He just jumped in the shower.”

“You don’t mind that I let myself in?” He’d never bothered to knock before, but he was suddenly questioning whether this was a single man’s home anymore or not.

She more than cocked her head back to him then. “It’s not my home to mind, but if it were, no, I wouldn’t.”

There was something radiant about her smile. It was exceptionally sweet and innocent to look at, more so than he was used to seeing. He nearly felt like he was looking at a virginal young woman, rather than a woman who “liked her sex” as Ian had described her. She was just too—

“What has Ian said about me?” She didn’t look at him at all when she asked that rather loaded question.

“I thought we took care of our own introductions the other day with our two-thirty A.M. phone chat,” he remarked sarcastically.

“That’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, what did he say to you about me?”

He watched her for a moment. “I’m not sure it’s appropriate for us to discuss this.”

She finally did turn fully around to him. “That’s precisely why we should talk about it now, before he gets out of the shower.” The side of her lip pulled up as she focused on him, and there was a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“You realize I’m known for being brutally honest, and you should understand this is a two-way street.”

She nodded.

He looked toward the hallway that led to the other side of the house and the bedrooms, and then he took a deep breath. “He said you’re incredible.”

Her cheeks instantly flushed, and she smiled but said nothing. He studied her some more, knowing full well that flush would intensify ten-fold with his next words, but knowing he’d be saying those words regardless.

“He said your pussy is tight as hell, and you like to fuck.” He held his focus calmly on her.

She gasped.

“I’m sorry, did I say fuck? I meant dance,” he said sarcastically.

Her eyes shifted to the floor between them for a moment, but then she looked back up, her cheeks now a deep crimson red. “Same difference, remember?” she said softly.

“I do. Now it’s your turn.”

She cleared her throat. “Well, he didn’t say anything at all about your genitals.”

He laughed. “Nice recovery. I like that. Now go on. You’re running out of time.”

She gnawed on the inside of her lip for a moment, and she rolled her eyes nervously as she released a shaky breath. “He said… He said I didn’t need to worry about you hitting on me because I’m not your type.” She glanced away as her jaw tightened, but she looked back at him, waiting to see how he’d respond, if he were guessing.

“And why would you be concerned I’d hit on my best friend’s girlfriend?” He cocked his brow as he waited for an answer.

“Well … he’s also told me…” She glanced away for a second. “…that such things as propriety weren’t always a concern between you two in the past.”

“I see.” He held his focus on her as her cheeks reddened again. “Out of curiosity, what did he say my type was?” He crossed his arms on his chest and his ankles too, casually leaning against the counter and abandoning the opened bottle of wine for a moment.

“Blonde.”

He hummed but remained quiet.

“Big…” She threw down the universal hand gesture for tits, holding imaginary cantaloupe in front of her own small breasts.

He hummed again letting his eyes wander to the small but round mounds of flesh just beyond her cupped hands that she still held in front of her chest.

“You guys talking about me?” Ian suddenly rounded the corner.

Gray instantly dropped her hands to her sides, her lips pursing.

“We were just talking about how small your cock is,” Jasper commented sarcastically as he reached for the bottle of wine and a wine glass. His best friend deserved that one for taking it upon himself to announce his type to her.

But in true Ian form, he scoffed dismissively and fired right back. “We can’t all have the dick of a stallion like you, now can we?” He clapped Jas on the shoulder, nearly making him spill the wine he was pouring for Gray.

When Jas turned to her, her eyes were wide, and she was staring at his chest, shaking her head subtly in shock. Nothing like Ian and his impenetrable ego to dis his own dick size and compliment Jas at the same time while remaining the most confident man in the room.

Jasper cleared his throat, ignoring Ian and walking up behind Gray as she turned to the sink again. He reached around her body and set the glass beside her as she glanced at him nervously.

“Thanks.” Her voice was quiet, and he winked at her in a gesture he thought was supposed to put her at ease, but when her cheeks blushed, he stepped away quickly.

“Please tell me you’re not making something vegetarian again?” Ian took Jasper’s place behind her body, gripping her hips in his hands and pulling her bottom to his groin. Jas watched them casually, his own groin throbbing.

Jasper had a few regular fucks who kept him satisfied, but as he watched Ian touch Gray’s body, he suddenly felt like he hadn’t gotten laid in a year, and he was dying to stick his cock in something—preferably the petite young woman standing in front of him who wasn’t his type.

“It’s not vegetarian at all. In fact, I need you to start the grill.”

Ian sighed dramatically but eventually pecked her on the side of the neck and left for the large expansive back patio. Ian’s home was a two-story concrete contemporary structure in the West Lake Hills area of Austin. It was a cool house, but it wasn’t really Jasper’s style. The house was built in an L-shape with a glass single story breezeway that connected one leg of the L to the other. In the crook of the L was a large rectangular pool, surrounded by a smooth expansive concrete patio. The trees surrounding the property kept it secluded, but there was little that was secluded in the interior of the house. The kitchen was open to the great room that looked out to the patio through a large wall of windows.

And, as he glanced toward those windows, his eyes caught on Gray. She was just shaking the last of the water off a bunch of fresh herbs, but her concentration wasn’t on the herbs. It was on Ian. She was watching him, and from his sidewise vantage point, Jasper studied her. She shook off the last of the excess water, depositing the parsley and basil on a cutting board that sat right next to the sink, and she took a deep breath that looked more troubled than relaxed.

He stepped up beside her, careful to keep an appropriate amount of space between them, lest he give her more reason to feel uncomfortable. She glanced at him, and her troubled, forced smile pulled up into a genuine one.

“You okay?” he asked her.

“Yes.” Her lips pursed.

“Well, then, put me to work.”

“Really?” She seemed nearly shocked.

“Of course. I told you I know my way around a kitchen. Don’t let my devilish good looks fool you.”

She laughed. “Okay then. Cutting or crushing?”

“I’m a man. I crush things.” He shrugged. “It’s just the way it is.”

She turned from him, pulling the mortar and pestle from the upper cupboard behind them and returning to him. She set the rough granite in front of him.

“So, what are we making?”

“Chimichurri to go with the steaks and salad as a side. The steaks are just flank steaks, so they won’t take long to cook once we have this done, and the salad is already finished and in the fridge. I thought we could eat outside on the patio.”

“I like how you entertain,” he commented as he looked down at her.

“I like how you help in the kitchen.” She glanced up at him, smiling.

They worked side by side—she finely cutting up the herbs, peppers, and garlic and handing them off to him, and he crushing and mixing it all together. They spent that time silently working. He couldn’t stop waiting for the subtle scent of her perfume, and every time she leaned close to him to scrape something into the mortar, he’d inhale deeply.

She occasionally glanced out to the patio where Ian was lounging poolside on the large rattan sectional sofa with its white cushions. Jasper could tell she was annoyed by her pursed lips, flared nostrils, and the slight shake of her head when her focus would land on him. But she said nothing about it, and when they carried the mortar out and the plate with the steaks, she still said nothing, but she glared at Ian. Ian shrugged his shoulders, dismissing her veiled irritation.

“How about you get your lazy ass inside and grab the plates and silverware.” Jasper nudged Ian’s leg, and then he carried the plate of meat to the grill and helped Gray get the steaks on. Within ten minutes, they were seated around the large rectangular table with Ian at the end and Jasper across from Gray. It was small talk while they ate.

“Do you have a girlfriend, Jasper?” She took a sip of her wine while she waited for him to answer.

He glanced at Ian, and they exchanged a look that more or less meant the question was ridiculous. Of course, Gray wouldn’t know that, and he chuckled quietly, contemplating how exactly he wanted to broach this subject with her to avoid looking like an asshole.

“Jas isn’t really the dating sort,” Ian stepped in. “Don’t get me wrong, he likes fucking just fine, but relationships are overrated in his mind.”

She turned to him with an amused expression on her face. “Is that so?”

He hummed, but it was more a nervous response than anything, and if he were pale enough to blush he was quite certain he would. “Just seems to work better for me to keep things casual.”

“Why is that, may I ask?” She leaned forward, eager to perpetuate this even though he was desperate to change the topic.

He shrugged, but of course that didn’t satisfy Ian who didn’t understand the meaning of the verbal filter.

“Probably has to do with his shit childhood and his even shittier parents. Can anyone say abandonment complex?” Ian commented sarcastically.

When Jas looked up to see concern in Gray’s eyes, he looked away. He didn’t like this kind of attention being focused on him, and when his eyes returned to the table, he glared at Ian.

“What?” Ian snapped defensively. “It’s true.”

Gray scoffed in annoyance and pinned Ian to his seat with her glare. “That doesn’t mean it’s for you to say. If he’d have wanted me to know that, he’d have told me himself.” Her words were pointed as she stared at Ian, and the defense in his expression finally calmed, and he smiled at her sweetly. She did have an interesting way with him.

Gray’s gaze eventually returned to Jas. “I’m sorry.” She smiled. “You’ll have to excuse your best friend. I’ve come to understand he can be a bit of an ass.”

He laughed at that one. “No need to apologize. I’ve been dealing with his assness most of my life.” He studied her, contemplating whether he wanted to delve into this or not. For some reason he wanted to. He eventually took a deep breath, and when he spoke it was directly to her, and he leaned in toward her in the same way she was leaning toward him. “It’s not that I’m opposed to relationships. It’s just… I guess, I don’t understand that level of … emotional closeness.” At least he’d been told as much by a few women.

“You don’t desire closeness?” Her eyes were narrow as she studied him, but it wasn’t judgment—just curiosity.

“No, I do. But what it looks like in my mind doesn’t seem the least bit possible, let alone sustainable. Not from my experience anyway.” He took a drink of wine, feeling it burn down his throat and warm his stomach. It was an oddly intimate conversation, and perhaps it was the wine or perhaps it was just her interest, but he wanted to have this conversation.

When he glanced to the head of the table, Ian was lounged back in his chair with his hands on the back of his head, watching them. He was smiling subtly as his eyes moved back and forth. Jasper’s attention shifted back to Gray quickly.

She bit her lip, not seductively, but as though she were contemplating saying something more. And then she did. “What does it look like in your mind—this closeness?”

He took a big drink of wine then, and he let his attention wander to the lit up water in the pool beyond Gray. By the time he looked back to her, he was committed to responding honestly, even though he wasn’t at all sure it would make sense.

“I guess real closeness comes when you find that person that can…” He shook his head, trying to figure out a way to explain it. “…break the hold your darkness sometimes has on you. They liberate you. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

She nodded. “It makes perfect sense. They erase the ugly or maybe they just make you feel okay about the ugly.” She smiled.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Okay, what about you?”

Now it was her turn to think, and she did. Her expression was nearly whimsical—like life and this topic intrigued her more than terrified her. He wished he could say the same. She was enjoying this … delving, and he was enjoying how open it left him feeling—comfortable in his own skin even.

“Do you ever feel like there are pieces of you missing? Or your life is just unsatisfying, empty, boring even.” Her voice was quiet, but she still had that light in her eyes. She wasn’t afraid of this, and that kind of amazed him.

“Yes,” he said quietly. He absolutely understood that feeling.

“I guess I imagine real closeness is what happens when you meet someone who can … fill in the missing pieces and make you feel whole and satiated. They make you a solid thing, rather than a fading ghost of a person. They make you feel at peace as opposed to always feeling like you’re searching for something to fill the void.”

He nodded. It was suddenly silent. The candle on the table flickered as a breeze blew through the patio, and he just watched her. Her focus became distant, and as she stared at the table between them, she seemed lost in her own thoughts. Her lips were a tight line and her brow wrinkled. Was it worry?

“Well, that was just fucking beautiful. Couple of poets right here,” Ian commented sarcastically as he sat up to the table. “How about I get another bottle of wine, so the two of you can get even more buzzed? I would love to see you both in drunk tears by the end of the night.”

“Oh, shut up,” she muttered. “It’s called cerebral adult conversation. You’re just too immature to keep up.” Gray looked at Ian and winked, and he reached over, covering her hand with his and squeezing.

Ian stood then. “I wasn’t kidding about more wine. And I think I’ll grab a deck of cards. You two stay put.”

As Ian walked back into the house, Jas chuckled quietly as she watched him curiously.

“Tell me about your grandmother. You said you lived with her. Is she still in San Diego?”

He watched her calm and intrigued eyes for a moment, relieved this topic was easier than the last. “Yeah. She does. We’re very close. I talk to her every week.” He was quiet for a moment, but Gray didn’t interrupt. She waited to see if he was going to say something more. “She’s… Well, she’s spry as hell for eighty-nine actually. More attitude in that woman than most anyone I’ve ever met.”

Gray smiled at him. “I’m glad you have her.”

He watched her for a moment, and she held her focus on him too. When Ian returned moments later, he was carrying another bottle of wine, the wine bottle opener, and a deck of cards. He gave the bottle and opener to Jas, and then took his seat again as he started shuffling.

“Poker. You play, babe?”

“Umm… It’s been a long time. But I’m sure I’ll pick it up.”

They found out soon enough that wasn’t going to be happening. And when she threw down a straight with only four cards, they stared at her, waiting for the fifth.

“What?” she asked defensively. “That’s good stuff right there.”

Jas held back the laugh as much as possible due to the completely serious look on her face. But he couldn’t help but comment, “And what is that good stuff if you don’t mind explaining?”

“It’s a small straight. Duh.” She actually rolled her eyes like they’d lost their minds.

He didn’t bother holding the chuckle back then.

Ian stood, holding his hand out to her. “Up you get. We’ll be doing this together.”

“Why?” She was truly baffled, but she took his hand as he helped her stand and then took her chair, pulling her down to sit on his knee.

“This isn’t Yahtzee, babe. No small straight I’m afraid.”

Jas shrugged as his brows shot up when she scowled at him. For the next hour, he watched her fumble through her cards. Her face would scrunch up, she’d bite her lip, she’d scowl, and her eyes would pop open wide when she saw something she liked. There was definitely no poker face on this gal.

He’d occasionally glance at Ian over her shoulder, and when he’d catch Ian’s eye, Ian would smirk at him. By the time they’d given up on their game, he was tired and slightly drunk. And as Ian returned to his chair, Gray sank back into hers. Her eyes looked lazy and calm, and she smiled at him. It was dark out, but the pool lights and the lights from the house lit up the area around them. They were silent for a while, and it was completely comfortable and enjoyable.

And then Ian destroyed it all in one second flat.

“I want you to fuck Jas.” Ian’s words were so casual one would think it was nothing more than normal dinner conversation.

Jasper and Gray started coughing simultaneously—Gray on her wine, and he on nothing at all but his tongue. Rather than her focus snapping to Ian’s eyes, they snapped to his, and he stared back at her, trying to breathe but failing miserably.

She managed to get her wits about her first, and she finally looked at Ian. “What?” Her expression was shock, incredulity, utter confusion, and for added intrigue, nervousness and shyness as well when she glanced at Jas again. She shook her head. “What?” The second rendition of the word was loaded with even more shock, and Jasper sucked in a quick breath.

“What the fuck, Ian?” he muttered.

Gray’s focus shifted to the table as she sat there in stunned silence, but she was shaking her head.

“I want to share you with him,” Ian said calmly.

She kept shaking her head.

“I know you’re attracted to him.” There wasn’t an ounce of offense in his voice.

“I… I just…” She was stuttering, and as she stood, she stumbled, nearly knocking her chair over as she pushed it back. Her eyes met Jasper’s, and he watched her. When she covered her mouth with her hand, he stopped breathing again, slowly standing to his feet too.

She looked like a trapped bird, and he knew at any moment … she was going to flee.

“Oh, come on, babe, it’ll be—”

“Fuck you.” Her voice was uncharacteristically low as she spat the words out at him, and then she turned … and she fled.

“Gray,” Jasper called after her. He knew it would do little good, and just as he expected, she didn’t even bother looking back. She marched into the house and, moments later, the front door slammed, and then tires screeched out of the driveway.

Ian hadn’t even bothered to stand or try to stop her, and as Jas sat back down, he looked at his oldest friend in the world, and he contemplated punching him in the nose.

“What the fuck was that?” he shouted, his anger getting the better of him.

“What?” Ian responded as though he didn’t quite get the issue at hand.

“Let me explain something to you, since you’re clearly way off the mark here. She isn’t some casual fuck you can do this with. And if you haven’t already figured it out, you will absolutely destroy this relationship if you push this with her, and that’s if you haven’t already destroyed it.”

Ian shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “I disagree. She’s … adventurous and—”

“And you think that translates into being open to—”

“I’m willing to find out,” Ian cut him off, finally getting irritated.

“At the risk of your relationship with her?”

Ian stared at him for a moment. “Yes.” The man was oddly calm and serious when he said it.

Jas shook his head, letting the anger that Ian’s one word affirmation fueled in him take hold. “Then maybe you don’t deserve her,” he muttered as he stood.

Ian snorted. “Yeah? What are you going to do? Tell her that? Huh?” Ian said nothing for a moment, but then his expression fell, and he shook his head in frustration. “Look, this … relationship thing… It’s fucking boring,” he cried incredulously. Ian looked at the ground, and when he pulled his attention back up to Jas, he grumbled. “But I like her. I do. I just … want to do it on my terms, and if she’s open to that, then … maybe…” Ian shook his head again.

“She’s not like you, Ian.” Jas planted his hands on his hips. He needed to walk away from this, but…

“You mean, she’s not like us?”

Jas’s jaw clamped down tight. He didn’t actually enjoy being likened to his best friend in that way. But in truth, his actions said he was exactly like Ian, and he knew it perfectly well.

“I get it. She’s sweet, she’s wholesome, she’s from Iowa for fuck sake!” Ian was actually smiling when he said it.

“She’s from Idaho you asshole,” he muttered. “She doesn’t want this, and you’re going to end up ruining this relationship over it.” He studied Ian for a moment. “Bravo, you fucking asshole.” Jas turned and walked away then, tossing his anger over his shoulder. “Leave this alone!”

Chapter Four

“So, are you going to break up with him?” Anna was sitting cross-legged on the practice room floor, picking at the dead skin of a blister on the side of her toe as she asked the question.

It was late, and all the other dancers and instructors were gone for the night. But they enjoyed this. It was quite a thing to have the building to themselves. The only other people in Butler Center were the janitors, and as Gray sat on the floor, pulling her pointe shoes from her feet, she stretched her aching toes and ankles and listened to the far off sound of a vacuum.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. She hadn’t seen Ian for three days, and after one phone call between them that had ended badly, she’d given up on communication for the time being. It didn’t mean he had. He’d called her multiple times since that conversation, but she’d not answered, and he’d text messaged her incessantly too, but he hadn’t once come over to try to talk to her, and she was glad for that. She just didn’t want to see him. But … she wasn’t sure she was ready to pull the plug either. Or maybe she just hadn’t worked up the nerve to finalize that decision.

“Is this guy you mentioned the one who was in the theater with Ian last week? The taller nicely built guy with the longer dark hair? Looks part… I don’t know… Native American or Hawaiian?”

“That’s the one.” She wrapped the long laces around her shoes, stashing them in her bag that sat beside her on the floor, and then she stood.

Her loft was only a few blocks away, and she had no intention of changing out of her black leotard and pink tights just to walk that short distance. She pulled her tattered and frayed short jean skirt up her legs and slipped her gray shrug on her arms. When she sat back down, she slumped her shoulders, relaxing her body. There were slits on her tights on the soles of her feet, and she pulled the fabric over her toes and up her ankles to let her feet breathe, and then she slipped her feet in her black gladiator sandals as she waited for Anna to stop picking at her own feet. Anna was scowling at her toes, and Gray smirked at her.

“Sweetie, you gave up having beautiful feet a long time ago,” she commented.

“Eh… You’re right.” Anna peered at her, finally giving it a rest and pulling her slip on mules from her own bag, but once her shoes were on, she made no move to stand. “He was hot. You noticed, I assumed.”

Gray just stared at her best friend.

“Of course you noticed.” Anna smirked. “Kind of scary looking, but … hot for sure.”

“He’s not really scary. He can be… I don’t know… Kind of nice actually.”

“Tell me about him.”

“His name is Jasper. He and Ian grew up together in California. He had a rough childhood, and Ian told me he dropped out of high school when he was a junior, but they stayed in touch. When Ian ended up at the University of Texas, Jas eventually settled down in Austin too. Ian fronted the money for Jasper to buy an old rundown house on Rainey Street—you know, where they have those cool, eclectic bars? Anyway, they converted the house into a bar, and—”

“Ian is part owner of a bar?” Anna sounded shocked.

Gray laughed. “No. Not now. Jas bought him out a few years ago. The bar ended up being really profitable, but Ian wasn’t interested in staying involved long term—not with his own career in corporate finance to worry about.”

Anna hummed thoughtfully. “What’s the bar?”

“Graystone.”

“How very coincidental.” Anna smirked.

“How so?”

“Graystone. Gray.”

“Oh, please,” she muttered. “I should entertain the idea of sleeping with the man because the name of his bar contains part of my name in it?” She scoffed.

“No. I don’t think you should sleep with him at all.” Anna studied her for a moment. “I know you, and I don’t think you can do something like this and then just walk away as though it was nothing.”

“I know. And I’m not going to. I’ve only been with one other man besides Ian. I’m practically a prude.” Gray’s focus shifted to her lap as she picked at her fingernail mindlessly. “Ian said Jas already knew what he wanted to do. That they’d already talked about it even.” She gnawed on the inside of her lip as the pain of that thought once again bit her.

“And?”

Gray glanced up to Anna, but then she glanced away, still trying to wrap her head around why that bothered her so much. She shrugged. “He knew Ian was going to ask, and…” She shook her head. “…I don’t know.”

“Shouldn’t you be upset with Ian for springing it on you like that in front of Jasper? Not Jasper for not telling you what Ian was going to do.”

“Yep.” She nodded. So why was she so offended by Jas too?

Anna’s expression turned quizzical as she studied the floor. “I wonder what it would be like.”

Gray snorted. “Painful?” But even as she said it, her skin warmed and she flushed.

“You’re probably right. Especially if either one or both are well endowed.”

“Well, according to Ian, Jasper is hung like a stallion.” And her skin was flushing again.

Anna’s eyes bulged, and she shook her head as she laughed quietly. “Best to leave this one alone, honey.” She clapped her hand on Gray’s leg.

“I intend to.” Gray thought about it for a moment. “I mean, where’s the intimacy in it?”

“Is it about intimacy with Ian?” Anna’s brow was cocked as she waited for a response. “I mean, he’s the one who suggested this. I’m just curious.” She looked nearly offended for Gray.

“Honestly, I don’t know what anything means to Ian anymore.” She smiled at Anna, and then she released a huff of breath, shutting down the conversation. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand, sweetheart.” She smacked her palm to Anna’s as they clasped hands and pulled each other up to stand. “I seriously need to soak these dogs in a nice hot bath before I can hit the hay.”

They walked slowly from the building, and Gray hugged Anna at the curb as Anna pulled her car door open.

“Wanna lift?” Anna asked.

“Nah. I’m just gonna hoof it. Maybe the fresh air will do me some good.” She smiled at Anna and waved as she started off down the sidewalk. Her mind wandered as she walked, and by the time she was standing in front of her building, she couldn’t remember a single step she’d taken to get herself home, she was oddly aroused, still offended, and most definitely, still confused.

As she fished in her purse for her keys with one hand, she pulled the front door of the building open with the other, and by the time she’d made it to the old industrial elevator in the lobby, her hand had made it to the bottom of her bag without finding her keys.

“What the fuck?” she muttered, and then she stopped still as the old elevator lurched to a loud stop in front of her and the door lifted. She’d left her keys in her locker. She could literally see herself setting them in the locker, and then dropping her bag right on top of them. What she couldn’t see was picking the keys up when she’d grabbed her bag later on.

She jogged the few blocks back to the Butler Center, and as she came panting to a stop in front of the door, she cursed again. The building was dark and silent. She tugged on the handle anyway, but it was locked, and as she turned and let her head drop back to stare at the now dark sky, she growled in frustration.

She pulled her cell phone from her pocket, staring at it for a moment. She didn’t want to do this. She very much did not want to do this.

Her fingers moved over the letters on her cell phone screen quickly, and she paused for a moment before hitting send. But then she hit send, and she started the short trek back to her building.

I’m locked out of my apartment. You have my only spare key. Can you bring it to me?

Chapter Five

Jasper watched Ian drunkenly throw a dart against the dartboard in the back of his bar. He was stumbling around with two rather flirtatious women, and he’d been buying them drinks for the past hour. It was getting old, and as Jas finished wiping the bar top clean, he stepped back against the counter behind him and sighed.

He’d been pissed at Ian for days now, but when he’d come in that night, sullenly collapsing to a barstool, Jas had felt sorry for him. Gray wasn’t speaking to him, and given the way Ian was holding his head in his hands staring down into his beer, he was legitimately upset.

But then he got a few more beers in him…

And then the two flirtatious gals entered…

And now Jas was pissed at him…

Again…

When Ian’s cell phone beeped out that he had a text message, Jas glanced at Ian. He was back to throwing darts as the enamored women watched him. Jasper rolled his eyes, tossing the hand towel he was holding onto the counter, and he grabbed Ian’s cell phone from the bar.

He studied the screen for a moment, and then he looked back up to Ian. When he started typing a response, his heart raced.

Sure.

He searched through Ian’s contacts for her entry, and then he sent the contact information to his own phone. When he rounded the bar, he clapped his hand on his night manager Seth’s shoulder who was pouring over the schedule at the end of the bar. “Hey. I’m leaving for the night. If it’s still slow at midnight lock up.”

“Sure, boss,” Seth responded.

Jasper walked over to Ian then, catching his arm just before he threw another dart.

“What the fuck, Jas?”

One of the flirts started eyeing Jasper and biting her lip. She was lanky and blonde with oversized tits. She was his type. But he didn’t pay her any attention, and he turned back to Ian.

“Give me your keys,” he demanded.

Ian fished them out of his pocket, smacking them into Jasper’s hand. “I’m not that drunk,” he slurred.

“You are actually. Which one is your house key?”

“Why?” Ian was getting belligerent, but he took the keys back, fingering them until he came to the right one. He held it up for Jasper with an annoyed expression on his face.

Jasper took it off the ring and handed it back to Ian. “I’m taking your keys.” He turned and started walking away.

“How the fuck am I supposed to get home?” His face was scrunched up in confusion.

Jasper turned around slowly, and when he was staring at Ian, he spoke. “Seth, you call Ian a cab when he’s ready to leave.” Jasper studied Ian for a moment, his jaw clenching tight before he forced himself to relax. “And I want to know if he leaves alone.” Jasper walked away toward the back door then.

“I work tomorrow, asshole,” Ian muttered angrily.

When Jasper turned back once more, it was to see one of the flirts hanging on Ian’s arm. “I’ll pick you up at seven tomorrow morning and drop you here to get your car.” He didn’t wait for a response. He turned and left out the back door.

It took him less than five minutes to get to Gray’s building, and when he pulled up in front, she was sitting on a bench by the door under a streetlight. It was dark out, and she didn’t notice him at first. She was sitting cross-legged on the bench, and as he studied her, she lifted her hands to her head, undid her bun, and then let her long auburn hair fall.

He stepped from his car, and when he walked around it to the curb, she finally saw him. Her mouth dropped, and her eyes shot open wide, staring in shock at him as he walked toward her.

“What are you doing here?”

He held up Ian’s keys for her to see. “Ian had too much to drink to come himself. Now, which of these are yours?” He tossed her the keys, and she caught them one handed.

She fished through the few keys on the ring before taking hers off. When she handed the key ring back to him, his fingers brushed against hers. She stood then, but before she could reach for her duffle bag on the bench, he snatched it up.

“Thanks for bringing me the key,” she said quietly, and then she held her hand out to take the bag from him.

“Can I come up?”

Her eyes were wide saucers of green as she watched him. “I don’t think that’s a good—”

“I want to talk to you.” He made no move to give the bag to her, and he focused on her as she decided.

She finally nodded and turned toward the building. He followed her in, into the elevator, and up to the fourth floor of the old building. The elevator exited into a central interior room with only three doors opening off it. One was labeled “Stairs,” and the other two were labeled “4A” and “4B.” The building was split in half from the front to the back, and each loft consisted of half of the front of the building, an entire side exterior wall, and then half of the backside of the building. As she opened the door to 4B, he saw just how large such a layout was.

It was exactly the type of space he loved. The floors were stained and finished concrete, the ceilings were insanely tall, and the windows surrounding all three exterior walls were large and arched, starting from the floor and extending halfway up the wall toward the ceiling. He followed her to the open bedroom that sat on the front interior corner of the loft. The elevator lobby on her floor created an alcove of sorts for the bedroom. Her bed was large with simple white sheets and a white down comforter, and the head of the bed was centered on one of the front large arched windows.

She dropped her duffle bag on the bed, and then she walked toward the kitchen. The kitchen was free standing in the center of the open loft with a large dining room table on the opposite side of the island. Her living room was in the exterior front corner, and there was a large dance studio area in the back exterior corner. Her bathroom appeared to be the only door in the place, and it was in the back interior corner of the loft, again built into the alcove created by the elevator and elevator lobby.

She watched him as his eyes traveled around her space, but she wasn’t smiling. He wandered away to the dance studio area, and she was the one trailing after him then. He stood on the edge of the large square of finished hardwood, and when she stepped up beside him, he glanced down to her.

“What are those spinny things you do?”

She smirked slightly. “A pirouette?”

“Yeah. Show me.” He held his eyes on her.

“I don’t think so.” She was so expressionless as she watched him.

“Why not? I thought you liked to dance.”

She studied him for a moment. “Are we really talking about dancing?” she said quietly.

“Well, what do you think I’m talking about?”

She stared at him but said nothing.

“Fucking?” he offered.

She shrugged.

“I see.” He turned and wandered toward the living room as she watched after him. He stopped at one of the large windows on the front of her loft, and after he looked down at his car four stories below, he turned back to her. “I’m not talking about fucking.”

She walked toward him. “He said you knew.”

He didn’t know what this expression was. Anger. Hurt. Complete and utter distrust. Whatever it was, he didn’t like it.

But he nodded slowly. “Knowing and agreeing are two entirely different things. Did he fail to mention I’d already refused?”

She stopped walking then. She was five feet from him, and he focused on her, saying nothing for a moment.

“Of course he did,” he finally muttered. “He brought it up the very day I met you. I told him I wasn’t interested. So how about you direct the anger boiling through your veins right now in the right direction.” His words were clipped and harsh, but in truth, he was misplacing his anger as much as she was. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“Well, I’m not your type after all.” She smirked subtly, but it fell from her face quickly as her eyes drifted away.

He let his gaze wander over her body, stopping at her tits for a moment before moving on down to the short denim skirt she was wearing. She looked a little ridiculous really in her leotard and tights with a worn denim skirt, and as his focus traveled lower to her feet, his brow wrinkled in confusion. Her feet were bare under her sandals, and her tights were pushed up her ankles. He wasn’t sure why he’d expected them to be closed toed at the bottom, but clearly they weren’t, and when he slowly let his focus move back up her body, he took a deep breath.

She sure as hell felt like his type.

She was watching him again as he looked her over, but her arms were crossed on her chest now.

“You’ve … shared women with him before, haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

She nodded, looking more disappointed than appeased.

“It’s been a while,” he commented blandly.

“Why do you do it?” She swallowed over a lump as she looked at him.

He looked away for a moment, glancing at the ceiling and feeling like a fucking chump. This was a conversation she should be having with Ian, not him. But he had to admit, it stroked his fucking ego like nothing else that she was choosing to have it with him—even if there was little chance she was going to like what he had to say.

“Because it feels good.” He glanced back at her. He was usually blunt, and frankly, he preferred it that way, but for some reason, he felt vulnerable for it at the moment.

She shook her head in what he could only guess was disdain or confusion.

“What? You expected me to say something profound and meaningful?” He wasn’t trying to be an asshole, but her mouth dropped open as he watched her. “Sorry to disappoint you,” he commented sarcastically, and then he walked toward her door. He needed to be away from her, not because he wanted to be, but because it was too hard to like himself at the moment, and he was being a defensive prick as a result.

She followed him. “That’s all you have to say? That’s why you came here to talk to me?” She was glaring at him as he stopped at her front door and turned around to face her.

He blew out a deep breath, propping both hands on the back of his head. But it wasn’t a casual gesture. “No!” he finally snapped at her. His face was snarled in what must look like fury, but it didn’t feel like fury. He wanted to pounce on her, pin her to the floor and ravage her before she could stop him. Instead, he let his fingers dig into the back of his head as he watched her. “You aren’t my type. Not in the least. But I want to fuck you so much I can barely stand it.” He was still snarling as he spat the words angrily at her.

She gasped, and she stared in shock at him.

“From the moment your asshole of a boyfriend and my best friend mentioned it to me, all I’ve been able to think about is which of your holes I want to stick it in first. You happy?” Why the hell couldn’t he stop snarling at her? His cock was throbbing, every muscle in his body was tense, and all she could seem to do was gape at him.

“But I didn’t do this!” he yelled. “I’m not the jerk who thought any of this would be a good idea. Your boyfriend is. But look who’s catching the fall out for his stupidity,” he said sarcastically.

He turned then before he could do more damage and walked out, slamming her door behind him. He was relieved as hell to see the elevator still on her floor, and as the door lowered and he finally put some much needed space between them, he exhaled, trying to push the tension and the arousal from his body too. What the fuck had he just done?

He drove, shutting off his brain as he left Austin for his home. There was an apartment above his bar in the upper level of the old home, and he stayed there most often when he was working, but it wasn’t his home. His home was a large sprawling ranch out in the middle of nowhere south of Austin between there and San Antonio. And as the city lights disappeared behind him, he finally released a calming breath of air, rolling his windows down and inhaling deeply.

It was stupid to drive all the way home, especially when he had to pick up Ian first thing the next morning, but he couldn’t be there right now, and when he pulled into his driveway forty-five minutes later, he just sat in his car staring at the front of his silent and dark house. It was a large single story ranch situated on thirty-five acres of ranchland. He used the land for nothing at all except as a barrier between himself and the world.

He liked it here. He liked the silence. He liked the darkness of it. He liked the space it kept between himself and everything else. When he entered his home, he flipped on a few lights as he moved, and once he was in the kitchen, he cracked open a beer and he leaned against the sink, staring out into the dark night beyond the window. He downed his beer quickly, and then he sacked out in bed, trying hard to run away from what he’d done.

Gray had made him feel weak, and he’d fought back by blurting out the truth of what was going on in his head—as though he could fight back and shut down her disdain by erupting his thoughts at her. In the end, he’d shut her up all right, but he’d walked away from her feeling guilty and stupid.

After an hour of staring into the dark, he looked at the clock, and he snatched up his cell phone from the nightstand. It was after midnight, and he set his cell phone back down. Calling now would be a dick move, but after another few minutes, he grabbed his phone again, growling in frustration.

He pulled up her contact information and hit the call button.

“Hello.” Her voice sounded tired… and yet, she’d answered after only one ring.

“I’m sorry.”

She was silent. She was so silent he wondered if she was going to say anything at all, but eventually, she took a deep breath. He held his as he waited for it.

“I don’t think we should spend time with one another or speak to one another anymore.”

His chest seized up tight, and his throat constricted. He was the one unable to speak now.

“It’s too … confusing. And I don’t like feeling this way.”

He closed his eyes, trying to remember how to swallow. “Okay,” he said quietly.

“Good night.”

“Yeah.” His teeth were gritted as he pushed the word out.

And then he hung up.

Chapter Six

“I miss you, Gray. I want to see you. You can’t keep ignoring me. I’m your boyfriend. At least I was the last time I looked.”

She stared out the practice room window for a moment as Anna watched her.

“Please just see me. Talk to me. Have dinner with me. Please.”

She bit her lip, and then she started chewing on her nail. “Fine. Tell me where and when. I’ll meet you there.”

She jotted down the time and place before she hung up with him.

“Huh,” Anna remarked as Gray dropped her cell phone into her bag.

They both sat on the floor, putting their feet together and starting to stretch. They went through the movements as other dancers filtered into the room, dropping their bags on the floor as well and stretching. They said their hellos and did the requisite chatting, but Anna was focused on her.

“When are you seeing him?”

“Tomorrow night for a late dinner at The Carillon.”

“What are you thinking?”

Gray laughed for a second. “Umm… perhaps that I’m not sure what I think about any of it anymore.”

“Meaning?”

Gray shrugged.

When Daniel, the director, walked in, they stood and took their place along the bar.

“Meaning?” Anna hissed at her.

Gray cocked her head over her shoulder in Anna’s direction. “Meaning … things are all mucked up in my brain, and I don’t know how I feel,” she hissed right back.

“About who?” Anna was still hissing.

Gray was craning her neck back, and it hurt like hell. When she dropped her hand from the bar, she turned halfway around to face her nosy friend. “About—”

“Well, hi, Gray. Are you with us today?” Daniel’s voice interrupted her.

She smiled sheepishly at him for a moment. “I am now.”

“Glad to hear it.” Daniel smiled back at her. “Save the gab for break time.”

“Yes, sir.”

She ignored Anna for the remainder of that practice, and when they took a break, Anna watched her like a hawk. When Anna sat down beside her on the floor, she clasped her hands in her lap.

“Explain this.”

“Honestly, Anna, there’s nothing to explain. I don’t know how to feel about Ian, and you know what, it has nothing to do with this … this thing. And you know I’m not very good at just walking away and throwing in the towel.” She looked at Anna. “And I’m not sure I want to.”

Anna nodded. “Because of Ian or because of this other man?”

Gray glanced away for a moment, and when she looked back, she smiled. “Do you ever feel like…” Her eyes flit away again. “Like your life isn’t enough, and you feel empty. Like you bore even yourself? And you’re coming unglued at the seams because … because something … needs to happen.” She shook her head. She wasn’t making sense. “I don’t know,” she muttered.

“You’re thinking of doing it.” Anna’s expression had gone from intrigue to utter shock in less than one second flat.

“No! Trust me. That ship sailed the moment I told Jas I didn’t want to speak to him again—ever. In case you forgot about that part. It’s just…” She shrugged. “Ian … excites me. He doesn’t play by the rules, and more than that, he doesn’t give a shit about them. And I feel a little less dull when I’m with him.” She looked at Anna for a moment and saw concern looking back at her. “I can’t say Ian is the answer to any of it, but…” She laughed. “But I’m afraid to let go of being close to that excitement.”

“You know, you say this is about Ian, but none of this came up until after Jas—”

“Oh, no. Don’t…” She shook her head, warning Anna as she stood to her feet.

“I’m just questioning how much of this is actually related to Ian and not that other man.”

“‘Other’ man? Being a little judgmental aren’t we?”

“Being a worried friend.” Anna smirked as Gray pulled her up from the floor. A few minutes later, they were working their asses off for Daniel as he appraised them, nodding with his arms crossed on his chest as he always did during practice.

Fortunately, she had a pas de deux practice that afternoon for a contemporary pointe piece she’d be performing at the upcoming annual donor appreciation night. They kicked off every season with this short invitation only performance in the studio theater at Butler Center. It was the company’s way of saying, “Hey, we like your money. Give us more, please.” And free champagne, hors d’oeuvres, and a performance seemed to be the way to do it.

How it translated to Gray on this day? Quiet time with Blake, her pas de deux partner, who knew nothing about her bizarre love life and was too busy worrying about his own to care what crazy jumbled up thoughts were floating through her head. And by the time she and Blake had finished with the choreographer, it was mid-evening.

* * * *

Gray trembled as she walked into the restaurant the next night. She gave the maître d’ Ian’s name, and she twisted her fingers tightly, feeling the clammy skin rub together. She followed the maître d’ to the back of the restaurant, and when he opened a door into a small private dining room, she took a deep breath and followed him.

But that deep breath didn’t help her a bit when her eyes met Jasper’s as he looked up to her. She gasped, and his eyes popped open wide in shock. Ian’s back was to her, but as he clearly caught the shocked expression on Jasper’s face, he turned toward her, smiling broadly.

“I was starting to think you were standing me up,” he commented casually.

“What…?” She shook her head.

Jas stood at that moment, glaring angrily down at Ian. “You just don’t know when to leave well enough alone do you?” And then he looked to her, his face softening visibly. “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“Wait!” Ian cried, but there was a smirk on his lips. He stood then, holding his hands up to both of them. “It isn’t about that. I just wanted to make amends. You’re my best friend, Jas, and Gray, you’re my girlfriend. I need things to be okay—”

“You need to get your fucking head examined,” Jasper muttered as he stalked out of the room, breezing by her on the way.

She glared at Ian for a moment as he watched her, and then she shook her head. She followed Jasper’s lead, walking quickly from the room. She had no idea if she was trying to catch up to him or if she was just plain fleeing, and she was leaving it entirely up to whether he was still in the parking lot when she reached it. Her heels clicked on the pavement as she started quickly down the aisle, and then she stopped walking altogether.

He was there. Not even attempting to leave—just leaning up against the hood of his car, watching her as though he’d been waiting for her to find him. She slowed her gait as she closed the space between them, and he studied every step she took.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here either.” She wasn’t really sure what else to say.

“That was quite clear given the expression on your face. I’m sorry.” His ankles were crossed as he leaned casually against the hood of his car, but however casual his posture might be, his intense eyes were boring holes into her skull and sending an invisible shudder through her body.

“Jas … I’m really sorry about what I said to you last week after you left my place.” She swallowed painfully as he watched her.

He shook his head. “Don’t be. I respect your need to put some space between us. You were right to do that—especially after my behavior when I was at your loft. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He was studying her eyes closely. “In fact, I owe you an apology for that little outburst of mine.” He smirked.

She nodded slowly for a moment. “Well, regardless, I’ve regretted those words from the moment they came out of my mouth. They felt wrong.”

When she managed to look back at him, his jaw was tight and rigid, and his nostrils were flaring as he inhaled slowly.

“You know…” He glanced away for a moment. “…beyond the completely inappropriate things I admitted to you the other night, I actually do just like hanging out with you. I think I was more upset I couldn’t do that anymore than anything else. But I do understand. And I don’t want you to feel guilty about putting barriers in place between us.”

She nodded. “I like hanging out with you too.” She looked down at the ground between them. “And I don’t need barriers.”

He watched her for a moment. “Okay,” he said quietly. “You hungry?”

She smiled. “Yeah, actually.”

He pushed off the car then, offering her his arm. “Shall we go deal with your ridiculous boyfriend?”

She laughed and took his arm. “He’s your best friend.”

“Yes.” He looked down at her as they walked slowly back toward the restaurant. “You look nice. I like this dress, and I like your hair down.”

She thanked him as warmth settled into her cheeks, and she avoided looking at him lest it intensify into a full on blush. When they reached the front door of the restaurant, his hand met her lower back—not low enough to be inappropriate, but not high enough to be completely platonic, and he didn’t remove it until they were walking back into the private dining room.

Ian was sitting at the table patiently with his fingers steepled against his chin. He’d moved to the side of the table, so he was facing the door now, and as they entered, he smirked. “Glad I won’t be eating alone,” he commented.

She took the spot Ian had abandoned, and Jasper scooted her chair in before he rounded the table and took the place across from her.

Jasper’s focus settled on Ian. “You owe us both an apology.”

Ian glanced between the two of them for a moment, and then he rolled his eyes. “Okay.” He studied them some more, and then he cleared his throat. “You are both beyond fortunate to have me in your lives.” He paused smirking at them.

Jas looked at her, shaking his head in amusement. “Is this supposed to be an apology?”

She laughed shaking her own head too.

“Yes. Now shut up. As I was saying, however fortunate you both are, I do realize that, on occasion, I get…” He shrugged his shoulders. “…well, what I would consider a pretty damn good idea.”

Jas rolled his eyes, studying her some more.

“But!” Ian stuck his finger up in the air, standing from his chair. “The world apparently doesn’t revolve around me and my notions. Can’t imagine why not,” he muttered. “What I’m trying to say—”

“Yes. Get on with it already!” Jas cried as she laughed.

“I’m sorry.” Ian looked between the two of them. His expression was sincere without the slightest hint of his normal sarcasm or smirk. “I put you both in an awkward position, and that was wrong.” He sat down then as the waiter entered with a couple bottles of red wine. Ian glanced at her. “I know it’s red, but I couldn’t remember what—”

“Malbec you dick,” Jasper commented, but his eyes were on her, and she smiled.

“Well, fuck both of you. You’re going to have to live with a Cab and a Pinot.”

Dinner was great, the conversation was even better. They laughed and joked around, and she listened intently as they rehashed their youth for her. Ian was clearly a latchkey kid with little supervision, and that didn’t surprise her in the least. Jas was the outsider who most kids were more fearful of than genuinely interested in knowing, and even though that came with a number of amusing stories related to school pranks and fights, it was still sad to hear in a way. But she soaked it up.

“You remember that day your dad showed up at school and pulled you out in the middle of football practice?” Ian glanced at Jas, but Jas remained silent, nodding subtly. “He rolls up in this old fucking Ford Mustang. It was rough, but it was so fucking cool.” Ian chuckled. “He was a big man, your dad. Comes strolling up with that cool-cat swagger of his, and you just took off with him.”

Jasper’s eyes met hers, but he looked away quickly. She wasn’t sure what to make of his disposition at the moment.

“We took bets whether we’d ever see you again.” Ian was silent then.

She looked between them, feeling more tension than anything else. Jasper was staring at the table, but it wasn’t irritation. He just seemed to be somewhere else.

“Well, clearly he came back,” she tried for no other reason than to cut through the thick air that hung around them.

Ian glanced at her. “Yeah, he did. A week later, black eye, scuffs all over his face and limping. He looked cool as hell actually.”

Her eyes snapped to Jas as he looked up to her. His brow flinched, and all she could seem to manage was to stare wide-eyed back at him.

“We didn’t get along so well that week,” he commented with little inflection.

Ian chimed in quickly though. “You were a big kid. I bet you left him looking just as bad.” In Ian’s own way, he was trying to support his friend.

Jasper shook his head subtly. “No.” He said nothing else, and he stared at the table for a moment before blowing out a deep breath of air. When he looked back up to Ian, he smirked. “Way to suck the life out of the party, Ian.” He clapped his hand on Ian’s shoulder, smiling and laughing, and then his focus shifted to Gray, and he studied her for a moment as she took a drink of wine.

“How about you, Gray?” Jasper lifted his own glass to his lips.

She shrugged. “I danced. Not much more to say.” She knew she sounded lame.

“There’s always more to say,” he responded.

“No, in her case there really isn’t,” Ian tossed out. “If you can believe it, I’m only the second man she’s ever slept with. Still can’t believe she let me stick my cock up her ass,” he commented as an aside.

Jasper’s eyes remained on her, but she glanced down at the table, feeling the hot tendrils of embarrassment coursing through her.

“To take a note from Gray’s book, I’m sure she would have told me that herself if she’d wanted me to know.” Jasper’s voice was warm, and when she glanced up, he was looking directly at her rather than Ian. “That doesn’t mean I don’t think there’s more to say. So spill it, Gray.” He demanded with a gentle smile.

She sighed. “Okay. I came from a great family with loving parents who supported me perfectly. I started dance when I was young, and … I was good at it.” She thought about what she wanted to say then. “It was all I did. I knew early on I wanted to make a career of it, and you don’t do that without giving yourself over to it completely. It was my life. I didn’t go out, have fun, do all those normal kid things. I was in a studio practicing.” She shrugged. Yeah, it was more than lame.

“Nothing wrong with being disciplined,” Jas offered.

“No…” She thought about that for a moment. “But I missed out on life. While other people were out having adventures—”

“And fucking,” Ian threw out.

She rolled her eyes. “I was keeping a strict rehearsal schedule.” Her lips pursed, and her brow flinched as she stared at the table.

Jasper’s warm voice pulled her back to him. “You’re young. You have plenty of time for adventures.”

She glanced at him. “Do I?”

Ian was looking between the two of them but not interrupting.

“I don’t know,” she mused. “Even at my age I feel like I’ve lost part of my life to my career. It’s funny how life feels like it slips away from you without you even knowing it sometimes.” She watched Jasper’s eyes as she spoke.

“Yeah.” He nodded focusing on her intently.

The waiter suddenly appeared in the doorway with their check in his hand. Ian took it, and as the waiter left, the room was silent. No one said a word, and her brain swam with a sea of possibilities that were so much bigger than her small little boring world. It was a heady feeling, and she took a deep breath, soaking in the intoxication of it. And then she said it. It wasn’t her desire, nor her intention when she walked in, but… She said it.

“I’ve changed my mind.”

Chapter Seven

Jasper stared at Gray, stunned into silence. His cock was throbbing, his skin was flushing, and breathing had become a nonessential afterthought.

“Well, that settles that,” quipped Ian from beside him.

But Gray’s face remained impassive—much as it had been when she made the comment.

“No, it doesn’t,” Jasper cut in quickly. He turned his focus to Ian. “I need to speak with Gray alone for a moment.” He stared at Ian, refusing to look away.

Ian held the check up. “Why don’t I take care of this, and I’ll meet you both in the parking lot. Perhaps a nightcap at my place.”

Jasper didn’t respond to him, and he waited for Ian to leave before he bothered trying to speak again. But the moment the door closed and he was alone with Gray, he opened his mouth. “Why are you doing this?”

She watched him for a moment, and she swallowed harshly over a lump in her throat. “I guess… I want to do something I’m not supposed to do. I want to want something I’m not supposed to want. I want to make the mistake I’m not supposed to make.” She took a deep breath again.

He nodded but said nothing.

“Are you agreeing?” she asked quietly.

“Yes.” His voice was no louder than hers.

“Why?”

Every muscle in his body tightened into hardened strands of tension. “Because I want to fuck the hell out of the mistake until I can get her out of my system.”

* * * *

Jasper had picked up Ian before dinner, but Ian drove Gray to his home in her car while Jas followed in his own car. It was agonizing. He wasn’t supposed to want her this much. He was supposed to want to play with her and nothing else, but every time he looked at her all he could think about was the word more. More. He needed more of her.

He knew even as he drove behind her car toward Ian’s house that what he was going to do to her wasn’t going to satisfy him. It wasn’t going to be enough. He wasn’t sure there was such a thing as enough with her. But he was going to do everything in his power to hit that limit. Because falling short of that limit meant he was going to continue to crave her. And he needed this desire to end.

Ian uncorked another bottle of wine the moment they stepped inside his house, and as Jas followed Gray to the living room, he watched her move. Her fingers trembled slightly as she took the glass from Ian, and Ian leaned down, kissing her on the forehead as he mindlessly held the other glass he was holding out for Jas to take.

Jas sat across from them, and he waited for her to look at him. She seemed to be avoiding it, but when she finally managed, she didn’t look away—he didn’t either.

“How about a game plan,” Ian commented as he sank to the couch beside Gray with his own glass of wine.

“That’s new.” Jasper finally looked away from her to Ian.

“Well … she is my girlfriend, after all—not some casual fuck as you said.”

Gray’s eyes snapped to Jasper’s for a moment.

Ian looked between them, and then he chuckled. “So, here it is. You’re going to fuck her ass, and I’ll take care of the rest of her.” His eyebrows shot up playfully.

Jas didn’t bother looking at Gray, because he didn’t want to see exactly what reaction that might have elicited. “She’s a bit small, don’t you think, for both of us at the same time? It might be a bit much for her? At least for her first time.”

Ian tilted his head back and forth as he contemplated. “Considering she’s fairly new to anal sex, you’re probably right. So, fine. Once I’m done with her, I’ll come in her mouth while you’re cock is in her ass. Happy?” He stared at Jasper for a moment. “I’m sure taking your dick up her ass will be challenging enough for the novice.”

Jas inhaled deeply, but then he chuckled as he stroked his chin. He’d been freaking the hell out since dinner, but now that he was sitting across from her, and he was close to getting what he needed, the cock side of his brain was taking over, making it far easier to ignore his own nerves—hers too for that matter.

“Now the rules.” Ian added.

“Jesus. Are we playing gin rummy or fucking?” He glanced to Gray just to see her lips pull up slightly even as her focus shifted to her lap.

“Like I said, she’s my girlfriend. That must mean something.” Ian stared at him for a moment. “You don’t touch her. Not her tits, not her face, certainly not her pussy. You keep your mouth off her and your fingers out of her. And she will not be sucking your cock either. I’m reserving every part of her for myself except one very small, tight hole.”

“I’ve never known you to be a jealous man, Ian.” But even as he made the comment, it wasn’t lost on him that perhaps he was the jealous one.

Ian laughed. “I’m not—not at all. But … maybe I’m growing up a little. Only seems right under the circumstances. Take it or leave it. Trust me. It’ll be worth your while.”

“I’m sure it will.” The nerves were definitely gone, and as he glanced to her, her slightly parted lips and the intrigued expression said she was about as far beyond her nerves as he was his.

“Stand up,” Ian murmured against her ear as he leaned over to her.

She did, and as Ian stood behind her, he took the glass from her hand, leaning over and setting it on the end table. She was wearing a sleeveless cotton black and white stripe maxi dress, and as Ian started inching the top down, she looked away, refusing to look at him.

“Look at me, Gray,” Jasper demanded gently. “I’m going to see every inch of your body, so there’s no sense being shy with me.”

“But she’s so cute when she’s shy,” Ian commented as he nuzzled just under her ear. He was right about that.

She finally met his eyes, and she panted as she held her focus on him as Ian lowered the top of her dress. He could see her chest rising and falling quickly as his eyes followed her top down, and when her small round breasts were exposed, Jasper leaned forward, planting his elbows on his knees as his fingers mindlessly ran over his chin. Fucking hell. Her nipples were hard peaks against her pale skin. She was so much smaller than any woman he’d ever been with, but he suddenly couldn’t remember why he would want anything other than this. He must have … but why?

Ian smirked at him over her shoulder, and then he left her dress in place, the top bunched at her waist, and he pulled her away toward his bedroom as Jasper followed. She glanced back at him as Ian led them down the hallway, and he winked at her as she sucked in a quick breath.

Jasper stripped his shirt off as they entered the bedroom, tossing it to the floor as he moved, and then he sat on the side of the bed, waiting. Ian once again stood behind her, and as he started inching the dress down her hips, Jas watched. Her eyes were wide as they traveled down his torso, following the line of the large phoenix tattoo he had on his left side. It consumed his shoulder, his left pec, and his left abdomen before wrapping around to his lower back, and he could nearly follow the trail her eyes ran over his body as they studied every inch of his ink.

But, however intently her eyes were watching his body, the rest of her was far less controlled. She couldn’t seem to figure out what to do with her arms or her hands, and as she held them awkwardly out, he smiled reassuringly at her.

“Relax,” he said.

Her eyes shifted up slowly from his abdomen where she was focusing on the long colorful plume of the bird, and she nodded, dropping her hands to her sides.

He wasn’t at all relaxed when Ian finally inched the dress down past her hips, pulling her underwear down as he went. Her hip bones were subtly jutting points, and he wanted to lick them so bad he started licking his own lips in desperate need. Her pussy was lightly haired and trimmed neatly. He could see the small lips, and his fingers clenched tight as his body reacted.

She was left naked standing in front of him as Ian moved to his nightstand. Jas studied her eyes, and she forced herself to look back at him—her trembling lips made it clear it was a struggle. When Ian returned, he held a fairly slim metal anal plug in his hand along with a small bottle of clear liquid and a couple of condoms—one of which he tossed to Jas. She glanced to his hand and then bit her lip.

Ian walked her up to stand a foot or so in front of Jasper. “Lean over. Put your hands on his thighs. Keep those eyes on his. We’re going to torture him a little bit now.”

Jasper smirked as he leaned back slightly, resting his weight on his hands as Gray leaned forward and reached for his thighs. She glanced to his groin, and her nostrils flared, but then her eyes returned to his, and he smiled gently. He studied her face as Ian’s hands moved behind her body.

Jas could tell exactly what Ian was doing by nothing more than the expression on Gray’s face. She jumped slightly when Ian touched her anus with the lube, and she whimpered. But her focus remained on him, and he gritted his teeth as he tried to stave off the need to touch her. When Ian slid the metal plug into place, her eyes shot open wide and her mouth dropped open. What he wouldn’t do to see this… Jas could barely swallow at this point, and seeing her expressions and every sweet inch of her face so close to his, as Ian said, was absolute torture.

When Ian finally pulled her hips back as he took the few steps back to the chair behind him, Jasper audibly hissed. Her hands were suddenly off his legs, and he was alone again. Ian stood behind her, and he reached his free hand around her body and splayed her pussy lips open for Jas to see. And that’s when Jasper gave up breathing altogether.

She was pink and glistening, and she trembled and panted as Jas studied her body. Ian slipped his middle finger inside her, and he started thrusting as her eyelids fluttered. Jas was twisting the bedding beside him harshly in his hands. But Ian abandoned the foreplay quickly as Jasper groaned inwardly. He needed more, and he didn’t appreciate Ian’s rush.

Ian undressed as she stood between them. He tossed his clothes aside and sat in the chair. And once he’d rolled the condom down his erection, he pulled Gray’s hips down to his lap. He lifted her thighs up, tilting her hips and opening up her body.

“Put it in, baby,” Ian whispered against her ear.

Gray’s eyes flashed to Jasper’s as she reached down, and her fingers trembled visibly as she guided Ian’s dick to her entry. Ian lowered her to his lap, slowly impaling her between her lips. And then he started rolling his hips, slow at first but then faster and faster. Ian had never been a patient man, and he fucked like he was in a hurry too. He was rough with her body, and her mouth was open, her teeth gritted at times. But she moaned the sweetest fucking sound he’d ever heard, and Jas hated that it wasn’t because of him.

Watching her body take another man’s cock while he sat on the sidelines was agony to Jas, and after a few minutes of watching, he stood and lowered the zipper of his jeans. She focused on his every move as he undressed in front of her. His cock jutted up hard and high on his stomach, and her eyes bulged as she sucked her lower lip into her mouth.

“Oh, God,” she gasped out quietly.

Ian’s lips moved to her ear as he slowed his hips for a moment. “You think it’s going to hurt with him?” His smirk said it wasn’t concern driving his question.

She stared at his cock for a moment. “Yes,” she whispered, glancing to Jasper’s eyes so quickly he nearly missed it.

“But you want it anyway, don’t you?” Ian’s lips touched her earlobe.

Her eyelids fluttered, and she nodded. “Yes.”

She moaned as Ian continued to fuck her, his speed increasing again, penetrating and retracting in rapid succession. Jas stroked his hand over his cock, letting it trail low to cup and squeeze his balls. She watched every move he made, and his dick twitched as she focused on him. Ian’s hips eventually slowed, and after a while, they stopped altogether, his butt resting against the chair as Gray panted on his lap.

Ian helped her stand, and her body looked like a string puppet. Her arms were lazy, and she trembled as though her muscles were spent. Ian smacked her on the bottom. “Have fun you two. I’m getting a drink. I’ll be back in a moment.” He stood, walking toward the door, but then he tossed over his shoulder, “Don’t forget the rules.” And then Ian was gone, and Gray stood in front of Jasper as his hand still stroked his cock.

“Are you nervous?”

She nodded quickly. “Yes. Are you?” Her brow wrinkled, and she looked incredibly insecure.

“I am actually.” He let his eyes slowly travel her body. “You are so beautiful.”

She blushed.

“Squeeze your tits for me.” He wanted so much to do it himself, but he was willing to settle for watching her do it.

Her small hands cupped her even smaller breasts, and she squeezed gently against her skin. Her nipples were hard points, and he wanted one of those points between his teeth.

He eventually looked back to her eyes. “Get on the bed. I want you lying on your back so I can see your face.”

She nodded, and she crawled onto the bed, taking her place in the center. He stood, looking down on her for a moment, and then he climbed up her body as she parted her legs. He knelt back, taking in the apex of her sex. Her pussy was pink and swollen, and he could see the edge of the metal plug just below it.

“Spread your cunt lips for me.”

She took a shuddering breath, but she reached down, spreading them open so he could see every glistening inch of her. He reached between her legs, twisting the plug gently as her muscles seized around it and her fingers trembled against her pussy.

“You need to relax your muscles.” He studied her eyes as she nodded, and when he pulled gently, her brow flinched, but the plug came out. He pushed and pulled it gently, fucking her with it and stretching and relaxing that tense little hole. She started moaning and writhing, and he smirked.

“I don’t want you to be afraid.”

He slipped the plug from her body, setting it on the nightstand, and then he reached behind him and snatched the condom from the bed where he’d left it. She watched as he tore the packet open and rolled the condom tightly down his shaft. He started to reach between her legs, but he stopped short of touching her. He needed to touch her. He wanted his fingers inside her bottom, but he took a deep breath. This was Ian’s show and Ian’s rules. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” She breathed out the response, the arousal obvious in her voice.

He leaned over her, bringing his face close to hers. “Good girl.”

Chapter Eight

Jasper nudged against Gray’s anus, but her muscles were tense and rigid.

“How about you relax those tight little muscles for me, so I don’t hurt you, sweetie.”

“Calling my girl pet names are you?” Ian had just reentered, and he smirked as he walked to the chair and sat down, holding his attention on her. “Missionary anal. How very old fashioned.” He commented, winking at her as he took a drink of water.

Jas rolled his eyes as she watched him, but then his expression went serious again as his focus returned to her. He studied her as he pushed gently. She whimpered, and her muscles tensed. It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to feel him. It was that her brain was sending a message to every nerve in her body telling them to dance. They were dancing all right. So fucking hard she was trembling and her muscles were strained—every muscle in her body as he pressed against her.

She closed her eyes then, wanting to see those intense cool eyes of his but knowing her body would never cooperate if she could see him. She sighed a deep and relaxing exhalation, and he nudged harder, passing beyond that strained ring of muscles. Her eyes flew open as the pain radiated out from her bottom to her lower back. He was still watching her calmly, but his jaw was tight, and as her focus moved over his face, she caught the telltale sign of his own tension.

She could see his jaw clenching down hard as the joint pressed through his cheek, and the quietest moan escaped him as he pushed farther. She cried out, waiting for her muscles to relax and let him in. Why the hell did she have to be so tense? Or maybe he was just too big.

He leaned to her ear, watching her eyes as he moved slowly toward her. “I know you’re nervous, but I want you to enjoy this, and there’s little chance of that if you can’t loosen up.” His voice was deep and warm against her ear, and she groaned as he let his lips touch her earlobe. “Now let. Me. In,” he whispered, still with his lips touching her ear.

She forced herself to release the tension in her lower back, and as the rigid set of her muscles calmed, he slid deeper, forcing her open. It was painful, and it was a slow torment as he sank steadily into her. She gasped when his balls finally smacked her bottom gently, and he let out a guttural groan against her ear.

“Fuck, you feel so tight.” Jasper’s voice caught in his throat as her body seized around him, and then he moaned again—a warm deep sound from the pit of his chest.

“Did you come when he fucked you?” he asked her, pulling back just far enough to study her eyes.

“No,” she responded quietly.

Ian just chuckled.

“Well, you’re going to now. Sadly not from me since I can’t touch you,” he muttered.

He started rocking his hips then, pulling from her as she fought her body to stay relaxed again, and then he sank into her bottom once more. He pulled and pushed, gentle and slow at first but then faster—his balls smacking her bottom each time. When she felt a hand touch her face, she glanced to the side. Ian was kneeling with his knees splayed wide beside her.

Ian wound his fingers through the hair along her hairline, and then he leaned down, pushing his tongue past her lips and using his free hand to squeeze her breast. He pinched her nipple, sending shards of pleasure-pain out from her tit. Those shards settled in her groin, tingling around the full penetrating breadth of Jasper’s erection.

Ian kept kissing her, and when she opened her eyes, it was Jasper she saw, watching her over the side of Ian’s face. His lips parted as he gently pushed into her, and he focused on her eyes. God, she wanted to taste his mouth too. She could feel his hands on the backs of her thighs as he held them in place, and his grip squeezed gently against her skin as he watched her. He let his thumb trail a gentle arc on the inside of her thigh, and her eyelids fluttered. It was such a soft touch—completely divergent from the ache he was causing in another part of her body.

When Ian pulled back, he studied her eyes, still gripping her hair in his hand. He kissed her forehead, and then he pulled her toward his hard cock as he scooted closer to her. She leaned as far as she could over to him while Jas still humped against her, holding her knees back, so he could slide in deep. She opened her mouth as Ian pushed against her lips with his cockhead, and then he was thrusting into her mouth as Jas was thrusting into her bottom.

But Jas’s speed had slowed. She could feel it. He was biding his time for some reason, and she closed her eyes, tuning everything out except what her mouth was doing, so she could get through this to see what would happen next. She sucked, and Ian moaned, and she kept her eyes closed, waiting for the salty warm taste on her tongue.

When he came, Ian spasmed in her mouth, and his cum filled her. He kept thrusting as he groaned, and she tried to swallow around the penetrations. She gasped and regained her breath when he finally pulled away, and she panted. He leaned to her forehead, pecking her quickly and then crawling from the bed. “That was incredible, baby.”

Jas had paused entirely at that point. He was deep within her, and when she glanced up to him, his focus was on Ian. He looked like he was nearly glaring at him.

“I’m jumping in the shower.” Ian commented as he turned and walked toward the master bathroom, and Gray watched as Jas’s lips snarled for a second as he watched Ian leave.

He looked back down to her, his face instantly releasing the tension, and then he took a deep breath. “Touch your pussy. Make yourself come.”

She reached down, letting her finger roll over that hardened peak. Those nerves were already going insane at nothing more than the sound of his voice, and as her fingertip met that slick skin, she cried out and he pushed hard into her with a deep groan.

He watched as she toyed with her clit, but his hips were slowly gaining speed. He leaned down to her, holding his body against hers as he humped. Her hand was sandwiched between them, and her fingers stopped moving for a moment. His lips were mere inches from hers, and she stared into his eyes, frozen by just how close he was to her.

“Don’t stop. I want to watch you come.” He gritted his teeth as he spoke, and his voice broke.

Her fingers moved again, hesitantly at first, but then precisely as she pressed and stroked at just the right speed and pressure. He watched her face, his thrusts quickening until he was snapping his hips harshly against her. It hurt. It also felt fucking amazing, and as her whimpers became faster and more desperate, his pounding thrusts became more intense. He was so deep, and he was pushing her so far past her limit that the pressure alone left her body wanting to explode.

When she finally fell apart, he yanked her hand out from between their bodies, pinning her hands above her head as she cried out. She was whimpering through her orgasm, and he kept fucking her. It was hard, it was overwhelmingly deep and brutal, and he pinned her down, bringing his face right up to hers as she held her breath.

“Oh, fuck, Gray,” he spoke through a clenched jaw.

She could feel his words as they were spoken against her lips. His eyes were desperate and wide, and as he moved, he panted out her name.

“Gray… Fuck, Gray. Oh, God.”

She watched him fall apart, and he grunted and growled out as he came and stilled deep inside her. His hands were tightening on hers as his body went rigid. As his release passed, he crumpled around her, and he buried his face against her neck. His lips moved against her skin as they trembled. He was panting, letting his warm breath touch her neck, and when he released one of her hands, she lowered it to his back. His skin was smooth and warm, and she could feel his muscles as her fingers moved.

His other hand was still holding hers above her head, their fingers wound together. He was heavy against her body, but she was dying to keep him there. His heart was beating furiously against her chest. He was still inside her, and she ached around him from her entry to the place deep within that he was touching.

“Say something,” he whispered against her skin.

Her lips pulled up slightly, but she froze unsure what exactly she should say. There must be something appropriate, something that was allowed, but she’d be damned if she could figure it out. What she wanted to say was how much she hated Ian’s rules. How much she wanted him to kiss her. How much she wanted to touch every inch of his body. How much she wanted to taste him. How much she wanted do everything Ian hadn’t allowed them to do.

“I want more,” she whispered just as quietly as he’d spoken to her.

He chuckled warmly, and then he sucked a gentle kiss on her neck, and she whimpered. He pulled back, looking down at her. He looked too serious, and she wasn’t sure how to take it.

“I know something about that feeling.” He studied her for a moment. “God, I want you so fucking much,” he whispered, his brow flinching as though it was a painful thing to say.

She just stared, her hand stilling on his back as she watched him. He shook his head subtly, and then he pushed himself up, slowly leaving her body. She cried out as the ache intensified before it eased. He watched as he left her body, and then he sat back on his calves.

He stood and walked to the small waste paper basket on the other side of the nightstand. He was so strong and tall, and his bottom was round and firm. He stopped at the garbage can, his back to her as he snapped the condom off his dick, and after he dropped it in the garbage, he turned back around to her. She was curled up on her side, and as he approached the bed, he sat beside her.

The shower faucet suddenly cutoff, and moments later, Ian re-entered, still toweling off. He moved to the other side of the bed and collapsed onto the mattress. He looked at her.

“You okay, babe?” He reached over tickling her arm with his finger.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” She wasn’t sure that was true though, and her eyes glossed over as she looked at Ian.

But he seemed to miss the emotional turmoil happening in her head. “Good.” He rolled away from her, leaving her to deal with herself and Jas, who was still sitting on the side of the bed watching her.

She glanced back to Jas, and the instant flinch in his brow said he saw clearly what Ian had missed. He studied her, but the more he studied, the more her back palate ached. It was tears. She needed to cry even if she didn’t know why, and before she allowed that to happen, she stood and walked toward the bathroom.

“I’m taking a shower,” she said softly as she left Jas staring after her.

She stepped into the large glass enclosure and turned the jets on. She stood, letting her head fall back and the water beat down on her face. But she wasn’t alone for long. She watched Jasper walk through the bathroom door, and he closed it behind him. He entered the shower enclosure, and he stood back against the back wall, crossing his ankles casually in that way he had about him.

She’d had no idea he had such a large tattoo on his body. It was completely hidden when he was clothed, and now that he was standing naked in front of her, she couldn’t seem to look away from it. It was colorful, huge, and consuming on his left side. It was a phoenix—a rather fitting symbol for a man with his past, and it was stunning. And smack in the middle of the bird’s barreled chest was a large letter G. She had no idea what that could mean, but she thought it must be profound to him in some way. He was anything if not intense and deep.

It had been a few weeks since she’d met him, and she could easily remember her first impression of him from the theater. She’d thought he was aloof. She took his expression as a perpetual smirk. She’d made the mistake of thinking he was … shallow even. But he was hardly the shallow one. And there was nothing aloof about him. And that smirk? It was just his way. The depth was undeniable—even if she didn’t fully understand where it came from.

He was still hard or hard again, and as he walked to her, he stroked his hand over his erection. “Turn around,” he said quietly once he was standing in front of her.

She turned to face the wall, and his hand gripped one of her shoulders as his body closed in behind hers. She could feel his erection hard against her back, and she sighed. He leaned to her ear as his hand ran a gentle path over her back to her bottom.

“Are you sore?” He whispered as his finger delved between her butt cheeks. He rubbed his finger across her anus.

“Yes.” She was just as quiet as he was. She was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to be doing this.

He pushed his finger into her as he moaned, and he thrust gently and slowly.

“This wasn’t the way I wanted it,” he commented—still speaking against her ear. “I wanted all of you. No rules.”

She nodded.

His finger pushed and pulled, and then he slipped it from her entirely, again rubbing against that puckered place. She felt bruised. Everything between her legs ached, but it wasn’t a bad ache. The ache in her chest, on the other hand, that was bad. And it was confusing.

“Turn around.”

She faced him, and he leaned down to her, bringing his mouth right up to hers. He let their lips brush, and she was certain he was going to kiss her. But he didn’t. He growled in frustration, instead reaching for her wrist as his forehead dropped to hers. He guided her hand to his cock, and when her fingers touched the rigid length of him, his eyes opened wide. His mouth was open in a silent moan as she moved her palm over his skin. He was incredibly large and heavy in her hand, and he braced his hands on the wall on either side of her as she stroked.

“Damn him,” he muttered. “How can I get past this, when I can’t fully have you?” He was tense as he spoke, and his forehead turned and tilted against hers. But he stilled her hand after a moment, and he stepped away from her to the back wall again. He watched her shower, and when she was finished they returned to the bedroom together.

He snatched his clothes up from the floor as Ian rolled over toward them.

“You guys having fun without me?” he asked sleepily, but then he looked at Jasper and caught sight of his erection, and he chuckled. “Well, clearly you didn’t have too much fun.” He laughed and rolled back over.

She sat on the side of the bed naked, and she watched as Jasper dressed. He sat on the occasional chair as he slipped his shoes back on, and then he took a deep breath and just watched her. It was unnerving. He didn’t stop studying her for a long while, and when he did, he stood and walked to the side of the bed where she was sitting. He crouched down in front of her, and he took her hand, holding it gently in his. When he kissed the palm, her lips parted. His mouth was warm against her skin, and he closed his eyes when he kissed just as anyone would were they kissing someone on the mouth. He slid her hand from his mouth to the side of his face, holding it to his cheek for a moment, and then he mouthed the words, “good night.” She nodded as he stood, and she watched him walk away.

Chapter Nine

Jasper followed Ian down the row in the studio theater a few nights later. It was a performance and food thing, and aside from the fact Gray would not only be there, but would be dancing as well, he had no other interest in the shindig. There was only one performance—Gray and some man. It was just a teaser of sorts, from what he could tell, and then the company was catering in hors d’oeuvres for a post-performance meet and greet in the building’s large open lobby. This was not his kind of thing, and the stares that followed his over-casual appearance as he walked by confirmed it. But he’d worn a button down shirt with his jeans. That had to count for something.

He looked around. The theater wasn’t a large one, and the floor level stage was empty except for a grand piano that sat off to the side. The lights were dimmed on the stage, and Jasper sank into the seat next to Ian, glancing at him.

“Doesn’t seem large enough for a real ballet.” What the hell did he know?

“No. It’s not. This is where they practice. The main performances are at The Long Center, but their season doesn’t start for another month. Right now, they’re just rehearsing for the upcoming season.”

Jas nodded, relaxing back into the seat as he waited. He’d not seen Gray since the night he’d stuck his cock up her ass, and in truth, he’d been worried that entire time about her. He wasn’t entirely sure why, except she was so very different from the other women he’d shared with Ian, and he couldn’t imagine such things as taking a man up her ass while her boyfriend came in her mouth was something she could walk away from without some confusing feelings.

When Ian called asking him to be his plus-one to the event, there wasn’t much considering to be done. He’d nearly called her a few times, but that wasn’t how it worked. She wasn’t his girlfriend to call or not call. She wasn’t his girlfriend to share or not share, and she sure as hell wasn’t his girlfriend to worry or not worry about. If touching her pussy was against the rules, then calling her on the phone and being all sentimental was certainly overstepping some major boundaries.

Ian didn’t deserve her. There was no doubt of that. Of course, Jas didn’t deserve her either. There was even less doubt about that. But he wasn’t going to walk away from this. He couldn’t. Not from her. Not from the chance to have her again—even if it was in some cruel limited means set forth by his sadistic best friend, who, for the first time in his life, seemed to be setting some limits.

When a pianist took the stage, sitting at the grand piano, he sat up straighter. He knew nothing about ballet, except this one was considered non-traditional. And as the pianist started playing a simple lulling piece, the curtain raised, and he saw her. She was wound up in a man’s arms, contorted and twisted, and as her body started to move to the lilting and sad piece, his thumb mindlessly stroked his lip.

The way her body moved was entirely too sexy. Equating dancing to fucking was right on the money in her case. And even wound together with another man’s body, he had no problem fixating on exactly what her figure was doing. Her movements were so controlled and subtly seductive. She moved seamlessly, without a pause or stutter. It was like watching thick liquid move in zero gravity—as though she could pour her movements out. And, holy fuck, that costume.

She was wearing a simple costume of white. Nothing more than a short white skirt and leotard. He could practically see her nipples through the top. They were taut and hard, and all he could think about was what she looked like squeezing those small tits as he watched. He almost thought the costuming was a bit lewd until he took in what her male counterpart was wearing.

His brow wrinkled, and he sneered as the man turned. It was all spandex covered ass cheeks from the back and spandex covered cock cup in the front. Talk about lewd, and as he gaped at the sight of it, shocked that such things were appropriate in this world, Ian chuckled quietly beside him.

“What the fuck?” He mouthed the words to Ian.

Ian just laughed silently—his shoulders shaking subtly.

But nearly-naked-spandex-covered man aside, she was stunning. She was so small and petite, and Jasper felt huge and powerful in comparison. It was a barbaric image of overtaking her that came to his mind, and it was arousing as hell.

She did her twirlies, and her pira-whatchacallits, and he drooled the entire time. The man lifting her body was able to touch her in ways Jas wasn’t allowed to touch her. By the time the thing ended, he had a hard-on, he wanted to clobber her dance partner with his own nut-cup, and he resented the hell out of Ian for not only asking him to come tonight, but laying down rules that were torturously restrictive to all the ways he wanted to touch her.

When the long dance number was finished, her skin sheened with a light slick of perspiration, and she was panting lightly as she held the man’s hand. He bowed and she curtsied demurely as the audience stood and clapped. Jasper stood as well, and he studied her as she curtsied again. It wasn’t a large crowd given it was invitation only, and her eyes caught on him, or perhaps it was Ian—both made sense. But then as the audience sat, he lifted a hand to her, and after she paused, she lifted her own hand and smiled shyly. He swore he could see the blush even from the fifth row.

He sat through a speech that nearly put him to sleep by the director of the company after that, and by the time they were dismissed, he was so hungry he was willing to sink his teeth into pretty much anything. When they made it back out to the lobby, he started scanning the room for her. She walked in shortly thereafter, wearing a sterling silver silky sheath dress that virtually hid her small curves and hit just above her knees—so fucking demure for a woman who’d let him do incredibly naughty things to her a few nights before.

She was with another gal, and as they approached Ian and him, the girl held her hand out to Ian.

“Good to see you again, Ian.” She commented curtly but with a smile.

“Good to see you too, Anna.” Ian smiled politely. “Jas, this is Anna. She dances for the company as well, and she happens to be Gray’s best friend too.”

Jasper reluctantly pulled his gaze from Gray even while she tried to avoid his attention. She was horribly nervous around him, and he was smirking subtly as he met Anna’s eyes. Anna’s lips pursed haughtily as she took in his smirk, and as she took his hand, her eyes cooled. Gray still couldn’t seem to look at him for longer than a moment at a time, and Jas couldn’t help but wonder exactly what Gray’s bestie new about him. If his understanding of best friends was worth anything, he was guessing she knew everything.

The director crashed their little circle gathering, kissing Gray on both cheeks, and as he started chatting up Ian, he pulled them away. It didn’t mean Gray stopped watching him. She glanced at him curiously every few seconds or so. He turned back to Anna after glancing at Gray again, and when he took in her expression he froze. She was glaring at him.

“I know martial arts. Kung Fu, Karate, Pilates. Mm-hmm,” she commented with her face pinched up. “Just so you know.” And if that weren’t weird enough she did her binocular fingers back and forth a few times between them as she glared at him.

“Umm… Okay.” His brow flinched as he watched Anna for a moment longer.

But then Gray swooped in, snatching her friend by the elbow with a nervous laugh. She obviously overheard that little exchange, and as she tugged Anna away from him, she tossed over her shoulder. “She doesn’t know martial arts.”

“Doesn’t mean I couldn’t ninja kick his testicles into his brain,” Anna replied loudly enough for him to hear.

“Okay…” he said to himself as he looked awkwardly around. He rocked on the outside of his shoes as he stood alone feeling like a shmuck. He wandered around the room, grabbing the occasional bite to eat and downing a glass of champagne, and when he found himself face to face with Gray again ten minutes later as she rounded a corner, he froze.

She stared at him, biting nervously into her lower lip, and he watched her, letting her nerves darken her cheeks and enjoying the notion that what he’d done to her body was the very cause of all this turmoil she was enduring.

“I’m sorry about that. She can be—” She shook her head.

“Protective?” he offered.

“And odd at the same time,” she finished.

He chuckled, warm vibrations of need coursing through his veins. “So, are you going to give me a tour?”

She finally smiled. “Sure.”

She led him away, and he caught sight of Ian, still hob knobbing with the director. Jas paused, cocking his head to the side as he met Ian’s eyes. Ian shooed him away with his hands. The smirk sealed the deal, and when Ian winked at him, chuckling as he clapped a hand on the director’s back, Jas put his concern away.

He followed her to an expansive practice room with tall ceilings, and as they wandered into the room, he looked around. Mirrors lined the walls, and there was an upright piano in the corner.

“This is the main practice room, though we have many other—”

“Does your best friend know I stuck my cock up your ass?” he asked bluntly.

Her eyes bulged as her words abruptly stopped, and she stared at him for a moment with her mouth hanging open. But then she nodded, turning toward the wall of mirrors beside her. “Yes,” she said softly. If she’d been hoping to escape his eyes by turning to the wall, she’d failed miserably. She glanced to the mirror in front of her, catching his focus on her, and then she blew out a breath, looking down rather than holding his stare.

He walked up behind her, resting his hands on top of hers that were gently gripping the bar. “I see.”

He watched her in the mirror, crowding her body with his and not bothering to keep his groin away from her either. He was hard, and her eyelids fluttered as he pushed gently against her. She slowly looked back up to him.

“And what does Ms. Anna have to say about that?”

Her eyes wandered again for a moment. “She’s afraid you’re going to hurt me. Both of you actually.”

The seductive smirk that had been stuck on his face fell flat then. “And are you afraid of that too?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer to this.

She nodded. “Yes,” she said quietly.

“How would I hurt you?” He leaned down to her ear, never taking his eyes off hers.

She shrugged. He didn’t believe for a second she couldn’t pinpoint this if she chose to do so. If their first dinner and conversation at Ian’s was any indication, she was very good at examining her thoughts and being open about what she saw … when she wanted. Whatever her concerns were, she simply had no interest in sharing them with him.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said gently as he released her hands and stepped back from her body.

She nodded slowly. “Doesn’t mean it won’t happen.” She glanced at the floor in the mirror again and took a deep breath. When she started walking from the room, he grabbed her arm, stopping her.

“You could hurt me too, Gray.”

She paused. “I doubt that,” she commented expressionlessly.

“I don’t.” He sighed. “If you’re worried about getting hurt, then we shouldn’t do it again. If you’re unclear on how this works, then you have no business doing it again.”

She nodded, and his guts clenched tight at the mere thought of not having more of her. What the hell did her nod mean? Was she agreeing with him? “Do you want to stop?” he asked.

Her expression was unreadable as she tortured him by holding back her answer. Her pursed lips were hiding something. When her brow furrowed, he was suddenly worried she might not respond at all. But then she did.

“I don’t want to stop.”

He breathed again. “What’s bothering you?” He waited patiently, hoping he could coax it out of her.

She glanced to him. “I feel awkward, embarrassed…” She trailed off.

“With Ian?” He studied her intently.

She seemed to be considering her words carefully. He was guessing they were pretty damn loaded after all. “With you.” She held her focus on him, but it seemed difficult. “Oddly it doesn’t seem to have affected Ian at all.” She did glance away then.

“That’s because what we did means nothing to him.”

“That’s kind of scary to me.” She was staring at his chest. “I’d actually expected to get that from you, not him.” She glanced up to his eyes as her brow wrinkled in concern. “I’m sorry. That was offensive.”

He studied her expressionlessly, and then he nodded subtly. “There was a time…”

“When?”

His focus shifted to the ground as he started gnawing on the inside of his cheek. “Always.”

“What’s changed then?”

He just stared at her.

“Is it me?”

He shrugged. “You’re different than other women who we’ve… You’re at a different place in your life. You want different things from your life. It’s not the same with you. It isn’t casual. It can’t be.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

He thought for a moment. “Quite the opposite from my perspective. But my perspective is limited. Do you think it’s a bad thing?”

“I don’t know.” She opened her mouth, but then she closed it again only to open it one more time. “I’m a relationship gal after all.” She shrugged.

“I’m happy for you,” he responded with a smirk. He was trying to ease this tension.

“I guess I thought Ian and I were in a relationship, but … I’m struggling to figure out how that’s even possible. I mean, can a person live their life this way?”

He chuckled. “Like what?” He crossed his arms on his chest, appraising her.

“You know what I mean. Sharing. And what happens when you’re in a relationship? Am I then sharing you with her while you’re sharing me with him?” She shook her head. “Does it just … go on perpetually this way?”

“First of all, I’m not sharing you with him, because you’re not mine to share. He is sharing you with me. Second of all, I’m not seeing anyone else, Gray, so it isn’t really an issue at the moment.”

“Maybe not right now. But some day you might. So … what then?”

He shook his head. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like thinking about it or acknowledging it. “What you’re talking about is long-term stuff…”

She nodded slowly. “I see.” Her lips tightened into a line, and she looked at the ground.

He stared at her trying to decipher her reaction. He didn’t know what to say about this, and he didn’t appreciate the fact she was pushing the topic on him rather than her boyfriend. At the same time, he wasn’t sure he wanted her to discuss this with Ian.

She shook her head, turning away from him, but then she turned back. “I don’t want to feel like… Like a toy or a prop being used in some ultimately meaningless game.”

“Who’s the fucking prop here, Gray? You?” He shook his head, frustration flaring up quickly. “I don’t think so,” he muttered. But when she looked away and rolled her eyes, that frustration morphed to anger. “Look at me goddamn it,” he muttered. “I can’t even fucking touch you. I’m nothing more than my cock with you. And you think you’re the prop? My dick is the prop, dear.”

“How’s it going, kiddos?” Ian suddenly remarked as he entered the room.

Jas glanced to him, and Gray refused to look at him altogether. Ian studied them both for a moment.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

They both nodded. She clearly had no interest in perpetuating this conversation with Ian, and for whatever reason, Jas was not only relieved, but egotistically satisfied. He didn’t want her sharing these worries and concerns with Ian.

“Then why do you look like someone just punched your granny in the face? Both of ya.”

“It’s nothing. I’m leaving, so if you’re coming, we’re going now.” Jas was still muttering.

“Come on, babe. How about a nightcap at Graystone?”

Gray looked at both of them for a moment, and when her eyes met Jasper’s, they stuck. She swallowed harshly, and then she nodded subtly. His chest instantly released the suffocating tension that was strangling his heart, and as that tension loosened, he felt it in every nerve of his body.

“Can I have a moment alone with Gray?” he asked Ian.

“You sure do like your moments alone with my girlfriend,” he commented sarcastically. “Sure. I’ll be in the lobby being social—which is more than I can say for either of you.” He chuckled as he walked out, and once the door had closed behind him, Jas turned back to her.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” he said. “The other night was harder than I expected.” He took a deep breath, holding his focus on her eyes. “It was also incredible.”

The smile she returned was small, but she nodded.

“I don’t want you to get hurt. I also don’t want to worry that you’re struggling to wrap your head around this. I want you to enjoy it. I want it to feel okay for you emotionally. If it doesn’t, then we…” He shook his head. “Then we can’t do this.” He swallowed harshly. “Do we need to stop?”

He held his breath as he waited for her to answer.

“No.”

He smiled. “I don’t like having my hands tied by Ian’s rules.” He smirked. “But… I don’t want to stop yet either.”

She nodded.

They found Ian in the lobby moments later and walked out together to Jasper’s car. He drove the short distance to the bar, and Ian sat in the passenger seat. Every time Jasper had to check his rearview mirror, her eyes were watching him. He’d get trapped by them for a moment until he could force himself to return his attention to the road. He parked in the back, and they entered through the back door.

“Hey, boss.”

“Hey, Seth. We’re going to take the table in the back.” He cocked his head toward a small round table that sat nearby, and once they’d ordered their drinks, he clasped his hands on the table.

Ian was staring at his phone, and it wasn’t until their drinks were set on the table that he bothered to look up at either of them. They made small talk, but it was strained. Gray seemed … too quiet, off in some way. Jasper kept watching her as she’d look around and then stare at Ian curiously. She’d glance at his cell phone, and then she’d look away, the tendons in her neck showing as she pursed her lips. She was annoyed.

“So, this whole ballet thing you did tonight was interesting,” Jasper commented casually to her when she glanced at him after eyeing Ian’s phone venomously again.

She laughed as she took a drink of wine. “Was it? What was so interesting about it?”

“Well, your near see through leotard for starters.”

She busted out laughing, and Ian looked up quickly, clearly lost on the conversation.

“Does it hurt?”

She smirked at him. “Dancing or fucking?” she said as she watched him, finally ignoring Ian.

“Touché.” He winked at her. “Both I guess?”

She shrugged, but she was blushing. “Yeah. Sometimes. Depends on the partner I suppose.” She studied him for a moment. “Doesn’t mean it’s not amazing,” she said quietly.

He smiled, feeling oddly shy all of a sudden. “I’m glad to hear it. I will say, it’s hell on your feet. I’ve noticed they’re a bit of a fucking train wreck.”

She nodded. “The dangers of sex.” She glanced away then.

Ian was still focused on his phone, and as he glanced up, he looked toward a nearby table, checking out a tall, dark haired woman who was eyeing both he and Jasper. Jas ignored her. Ian did not. He smirked devilishly at the woman, and Jasper’s jaw clenched tight in irritation. When he glanced to Gray her eyes were already focused on Ian. She was staring at him deadpan without an ounce of inflection, but as Ian looked back down at his cell phone, her jaw tightened, and she glanced at her lap.

A few minutes later, Ian looked up from his phone again. “Well, I gotta run to work. Fire to put out.”

“Now?” Gray asked him, her eyes narrowing.

“CFOs have fires to put out on the weekends? Can spreadsheets explode or something?” Jasper commented sarcastically.

Gray smirked in appreciation but didn’t react beyond that.

“I’ll be back soon. How about you two go upstairs and play without me for a while. Can I take your car?”

Jas handed him the keys. “What exactly would you like us to do? Stare at one another until you return?”

Ian stood laughing. “I never said she couldn’t touch you. You just can’t touch her.” He smirked.

Gray stared at Jas for a moment, and he looked right back. But then Ian leaned down and kissed her. When he pulled back, he held her chin in his hand. “Don’t touch him with these sweet lips though. Those belong to me.” He kissed her once more and then walked away.

Chapter Ten

Jasper held his hand out to Gray, and she took it. Her fingers trembled within his, and when he leaned to her temple, he let his lips brush against her skin for a moment. “Relax.”

There was no chance in hell that was going to happen, and as he led her from the table, she looked up to catch sight of the bartender watching them curiously.

“Good night, boss,” the man tossed out as they passed.

Jas glanced at him, responding in kind. She followed him to a back stairwell, and he led her up the stairs, never taking his hand from hers—consequently, her hand never stopped trembling. They entered an upstairs apartment, and she inhaled deeply. It smelled like him. It wasn’t musky like some men insisted on smelling. It was earthy and warm and very subtle. The apartment wasn’t large, but it was open. It was a half story, and thanks to the old architecture, that meant there were interesting sloped ceilings and angles all around them. The bedroom area was open to the rest of the apartment, but it was in a nook of sorts surrounded by windows. She was guessing it had been a solarium at one time, but it made an absolutely perfect place for a bed.

Jasper watched her as she looked around, and when her eyes returned to his, he smiled gently and then he leaned down to her ear, letting his lips touch and taunt her ear lobe. “Do you know how hard it was watching him fuck you the other night? You can’t imagine how much I want your pussy. I want it wet for me. I want to feel it against me, around me, squeezing me, and suffocating the hell out of my cock.”

She visibly shuddered as a quiet whimper escaped her mouth. The thought alone sent warm, wet heat surging to her groin.

“How about you get me out of my clothes,” he whispered before he leaned back to look down at her.

Her fingers trembled slightly as she reached for the top button of his shirt, and he watched as she undid every last button. When she parted the fabric, he inhaled deeply, his diaphragm expanding. The large tattoo that ran from his shoulder down over his left side was slowly exposed as she pushed the fabric back, and she let her focus rest on the intricate details of the phoenix’s feathers, and the letter G on its breast.

“Touch my chest.” His voice was quiet and deep. She loved the sound of it. He did sexy-seductive like no other man she’d ever met.

She touched, letting her palms flatten on his pecs, and she ran her fingers down over his small hard nipples. One pec was completely covered by the tattoo; the other was smooth and unblemished; both were hard as hell with tight muscles. He hummed, and when she glanced up to his eyes, they were closed.

“Lower.” His voice was husky.

She ran her hands lower to his stomach, and his muscles flinched. He was so strong, and those muscles rippled under her palms.

“Lower.” His voice was still husky, and as she glanced up, his jaw clenched tight and his eyes opened to watch her.

She hit the waist of his jeans as he shrugged out of his shirt, letting it drop to the floor. She didn’t wait for an invitation to undo his pants, and he watched her. When she paused and glanced up to him, he nodded.

“Keep going.”

She lowered the zipper after she undid the button. He was hard and pressing against the front of his underwear, and when she slipped her fingers under the waist of both his pants and his underwear, she pulled out as she lowered them. His cock thrust up, and she gasped. She let her hands pass around to his back, and then she watched his eyes as she ran her hands down over his bottom, lowering his jeans as she did.

His strong round cheeks flinched under her touch, his lips parted, and he released a quiet huff of air. She kneeled, pulling his pants the rest of the way down as he stepped out of them. She was face to dick, and she ran the palms of her hands up over the front of his thighs as she stood back up to face him.

“Wrap your hand around my cock.” He lowered his head to her ear again, nuzzling gently against her neck but keeping his hands at his sides. When she reached to his erection and closed her fingers as far around it as she could, he groaned and cursed. “Fuck, Gray. You’ve got me on fire.”

She stroked slowly as he hummed and moaned, and his mouth moved along her neck, gently trailing his lips over her skin but never kissing, never licking, just touching as he moved. He reached to her back, lowering the zipper of her dress, and then he looped his fingers under the wide shoulder straps, pulling them down her shoulders without ever touching her skin. Her skin popped with goose bumps as he lowered the dress, and she released her hold on his cock as he pulled the dress past her arms and dropped it to pool around her ankles. And then his hands were back at his sides.

“Put your body against mine. Let me feel those tight little nipples against my skin.”

She stepped closer, feeling his erection high on her stomach. She wrapped her arms around him, letting them trail over his back. He reached for her hair, running the fingers of his hands through her hair and pulling her head back to look up at him at the same time.

“Are you wet?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Good. Come with me.” He winked as he pulled her toward the kitchen table.

He sat in an armless chair, slouching back slightly, and as she glanced down, he gripped his erection and he stroked. “Turn around and pull your underwear down.”

She paused for a moment, but she turned, sliding her underwear slowly down her hips and letting them drop at her ankles. She stepped out of them quickly.

“Now bend over and use your hands to spread your cheeks.”

She let out a huff of air, and her mouth dropped open.

“Come on, Gray. I want to see that tight little hole I fucked so savagely the other night.”

She bent over at the waist and reached back, pulling her cheeks apart. She held her breath, afraid to move, but then he hummed… And then he cursed…

“Come here.” His voice broke over the words.

She turned around, her skin flushing with heat, and he reached for her hand, pulling her toward him. She straddled his legs, and when she was hovering over his lap, she sank down to his thighs.

“Spread those pussy lips, so you can get that cum right against my cock.” He never once broke focus with her eyes, and she shuddered.

She was turned the hell on, and his seductive torture was the most exquisite thing she’d ever endured. God, this man knew how to use his words. She reached down, parting her lips with her fingers, and then he scooted farther down in the chair as she pulled herself up close, pressing her wetness against him. It caused a moan to emanate from both of their mouths. She could feel the breadth of him hard against her heat. And she was trembling when she reached to the chair back with her free hand. She gripped it, and she pulled herself into him, rolling her hips as she slid wetly along his erection. She glided easily against that hard steel, and when she glanced down, the shaft of his cock was already glistening.

“Oh, fuck,” he groaned as his face contorted in desperation.

She planted her feet on the lowest side rungs of the chair, and she used them as leverage as she moved. He tightened his buttocks, thrusting against her every time she pressed against him, and soon, they found the perfect rhythm, sliding back and forth against one another. They were panting, taking lurching breaths as they watched one another, and the sight of his intense cool eyes focusing on her was enough to send tingling tentacles of pleasure out through her limbs. She humped gently on his lap as he leaned back so she could get as much of her slit to touch him as possible when she moved.

His mouth dropped open as she stroked one long slow movement against him. She was pressing hard against him, splinters of pleasure branching out from her clit. He leaned forward, his teeth gritted, and his hands fisted at his sides. His upper body was rigid in restrained need, and when he brought his mouth right up to hers, he hissed.

“I want inside you so much.” His eyes almost looked like they were pleading with her.

He reached up, clutching her cheek in his hand, and he let his lips, that were so close to her mouth, brush gently across hers. They were panting, and she was close. She was so close there was no staving it off, and as her hips sped, his panting sped too. Warmth and wetness surged from her as she hit her peak. She cried out loudly as her back arched. His hand slipped from her face as she reached behind her to his knees, bracing herself as she still rocked against him, reinvigorating her orgasm as her stomach muscles clenched and spasmed.

She whimpered and grunted as her body tried to relax, but then he reached out and clasped her hip harshly, digging into her skin. His other hand clutched the nape of her neck, and he pulled her face back to his. He looked like he was going to scream or fall apart as she studied his eyes, but then he grunted as his buttocks clenched and he pushed against her.

“Damn it, Gray. Don’t stop. I need you to keep going a little longer for me.” His teeth were gritted as he spoke.

She started rocking her hips again. She cried out as the hard shaft of his cock brushed against her clit. She was too sensitive, and it was almost painful as he pressed against her swollen peak of nerves. She whimpered as she kept going, and he held her hip tightly in place and her pussy sealed to his erection, giving her overstimulated nerves not even one moment’s break from the torture.

He arched his back, writhing in agony as the bird on his chest morphed and moved fluidly with his body. He was trying to reach his release, and when the pressure against her clit became unbearably intense, she dug her fingers painfully into the back of the chair and reached her free hand to his cock. She gripped his erection as his eyes popped open wide, and she pulled as his mouth dropped open. His eyes remained wide on her as she stroked. She was pulling him through her grip, and his entire body started trembling, the tendons in his neck looked ready to snap.

When he finally came, his stomach muscles clenched and he surged cum onto his stomach in spasming threads that cut through the color of his tattoo like white ribbons. She watched, and he groaned as his fingers curled against the skin of her cheek. She ended up collapsed against him, and he breathed deeply as she nuzzled into his neck, gasping to catch her breath. When he reached up, it was to let his palm run over her hair. He stroked gently, his hand still trembling as it moved.

“Holy fuck,” he muttered.

She smiled with her lips to his neck, and he chuckled. His fingers brushed through her hair, smoothing as they went, and when she sat up to face him, his eyes studied hers for a moment before they moved down her body.

“You’re not supposed to touch.” She tutted at him as he smiled.

“Hair is technically dead, and the rest… Well the other touches were inadvertent and completely your fault. Trust me. Not touching you is the most maddening thing in my world right now.”

“Well, I’m allowed to touch you…” She taunted, letting her words trail off as he eyed her curiously.

He nodded. “So sayeth the sadist,” he remarked with a smirk. He was still breathing deeply.

She reached for his chest, trailing her fingers slowly over the colorful lines, and she traced the letter G on the Phoenix’s breast. “Graystone?” she asked.

He shook his head, saying nothing.

She bit her lip as she thought some more. “A girlfriend?”

He scoffed quietly. “Me? A girlfriend?” It was sarcasm.

She hummed as her fingers continued to trace, and she followed the line of the majestic animal’s breast up to its head that wrapped around his shoulder, and then she let her fingers graze slowly down his arm to his hand. He was watching her closely, silently, and his smirk had fallen as he stared expressionlessly at her. She lifted his hand between them, holding it perpendicular to their bodies. And while she held it in place with one of her hands, she ran a finger from her other down his palm.

“Touch,” she said as her finger glided down his palm.

He watched saying nothing.

She shifted her hold from one hand to the other, and then ran a finger down the backside of his hand.

“Feel,” she said as her finger moved.

She lowered his hand to her chest, keeping the back of it to her skin and his palm facing him. His lips trembled as she guided his knuckles over her breast. His fingers parted around her nipple, and he took a shuddering breath.

“Feel?”

He nodded.

She leaned back, bracing herself with one palm on his knee behind her, and then she guided his hand down farther along her body.

“Fuck,” he muttered, and she smirked at him.

He licked his lips, and when her hand neared her groin, he groaned. She pressed the back of one finger between the lips of her vagina, and his fingers started trembling then. His finger passed between her lips—the back of it getting wet with her arousal as his lips dropped open.

“Feel?” she asked again.

“Fuck, yes, I do,” he breathed out. “So wet…”

And then she lifted his palm to her mouth just as he’d done to her a number of nights before. She kissed gently, and she hummed with her lips against his skin.

She released his hand, and she leaned back, bracing herself on his knees and watching him. He lifted his hand to his mouth, and he sucked the back of his finger between his lips. She swallowed harshly as she watched, and then before she knew what was happening, he lunged toward her, clutching her face and pulling it to his.

Fuck. He was going to kiss her. She closed her eyes, waiting for his lips. She wanted his supple pink lips on hers, and as she felt his facial hair prickle against her chin, she whimpered. But the kiss didn’t come. He held tight to her face, as though he were holding her away from his mouth just as harshly as he’d pulled her mouth to him.

They stayed like that until he finally released his grasp on her face, and when she sat back up straight, he stood and carried her to his bed, depositing her under his body. He hovered over her, staring down at her for a moment. But then he pushed himself up, and she watched him walk away to the bathroom. When he walked back out moments later, he held a rag in his hand and he was wiping his cum from his stomach. She watched, and when he caught her looking, he tossed the rag at her face, chuckling as he climbed onto the bed beside her.

“Get some sleep. I’m sure your douche of a boyfriend will wake us both up when he gets back.”

She glanced away, and he studied her seriously. She didn’t want Ian here, and she was struggling to hide that internal thought as though it was a guilty little secret seeping from her pores.

He eventually lay down beside her, and when she closed her eyes, she felt it as he brushed her hair off her forehead. “Good night, Gray,” he whispered.

“Good night, Jas.”

Chapter Eleven

When Jasper woke up Gray was in his arms, but she hadn’t moved to him any more than he’d moved to her. They’d simply gravitated together and met in the middle. She was snuggled up to his chest with her hand draped over his body to his back. He leaned down, inhaling against her hair, and he kissed the crown of her head. He reached back to the nightstand behind him, grabbing his cell phone as she murmured in her sleep.

He woke his phone up and checked his text messages. There was one from Ian.

Going to be a while. I’ll make sure she’s out of your hair by morning.

He shook his head as he set the phone back down, and then he turned back to her. But he didn’t pull her back into his arms, he just laid down facing her and looking at her. He’d left the kitchen light on, and it illuminated the small apartment. Her lips were parted slightly as she slept, and he reached out, letting a long strand of her hair run through his fingers. He loved her hair. It shined like a pool of light was being reflected from it. It felt like silk against his skin, and the way it made her green eyes sparkle like emeralds was incredible.

She was still naked, and he looked farther down her body to her breasts. He wanted to touch them, and he hated that so much of her was off-limits to him. It wasn’t supposed to be this way—rules and restrictions. But at the same time, he wasn’t supposed to want so much of her. But he did. He wanted more than the body. He wanted that part of her that seemed to lock onto him whenever they were around one another. She made him feel good. But the good far superseded the physical pleasure she could give him. That wasn’t how this worked, though, and he didn’t understand why he couldn’t get past that.

“Gray?” he said softly. He wasn’t trying to wake her up. In fact, he wanted her to stay sound asleep. She kept breathing slowly and deeply, not the least affected by the sound of her name. And then he reached for another long strand of her hair, letting it run gently over his fingers. “I’ve never been jealous of him before,” he whispered. He dropped the strand as it trailed off his fingertips. “But I am so fucking jealous right now.”

She hummed contentedly in her sleep.

He reached up to her chest, and he let his finger glide gently down from her clavicle to her nipple. He touched. He stroked around her nipple, watching those nerves constrict and tighten her flesh. The pad of his middle finger brushed slowly over the peak, and only after he’d silently and gently toyed with it did he pull away.

When he leaned to her slightly parted lips, he paused. This was wrong. It was incredibly wrong for a number of reasons, but it didn’t stop him. He pressed his lips to hers, holding them there softly. He sucked gently on her lips, and then when the quiet smack ended, he pushed his tongue between them, tasting her mouth and flicking his tongue up as he pulled back. She murmured in her sleep, and her body wriggled into the sheets. It wasn’t enough. He needed her lips pulling at his with the same desperation that was driving him now.

He wrapped his arms around her, and she moaned against his chest. He fell asleep then, and when he opened his eyes next, the sky was just starting to get pink. It was early. But he couldn’t sleep any longer. He crept from bed, tossing his jeans back on and starting coffee. He listened to her wake up as the coffee percolated, and when he glanced at his bed, she was sitting up stretching her arms above her head.

It was a rare thing for a woman to wake up in his bed. His evenings just didn’t end that way. He didn’t rudely push a woman out of his apartment, but when a person’s job could last until two or three in the morning if he so chose to work that late, it made an effective excuse to kick them out. But he’d not once thought of going back downstairs last night to help close up, and even if she could have left on her own, he was quite certain he’d have figured out some way to get her to stay.

She picked up her cell phone and checked for messages, and she sighed in what looked like frustration. She looked around as she rose, and she walked naked to his kitchen as he stared. Her eyes bounced around furtively as she walked, and she held an arm across her chest, the other over her groin.

She could be so shy around him, especially considering there was nothing she could hide that he’d not already seen. But it was daylight now, and he supposed that came with different behaviors for them, different rules in terms of how they could appropriately interact with one another. All he could think about was touching her.

She pulled her dress back on, and he zipped it for her, and then she leaned against his kitchen table.

“Did Ian ever call you?”

“He sent a text. He said he got tied up, but he’d be here to pick you up this morning.”

She didn’t seem the least bit thrilled to hear that, and then when she snatched up her phone from the table where she’d just set it, she looked even less thrilled as she dialed a number.

“Hey. Are we doing step aerobics this morning?” She was silent for a moment. “Is there any way you can pick me up at Graystone on Rainey Street on your way?” She was silent for a bit longer. “Yeah, I can be ready that soon. Sorry, otherwise, you’re going to be waiting for me.” That last part was muttered.

He poured her a cup of coffee, and she hung up moments later. He joined her at the table.

“He said he’d be here early.”

She glanced at him. “Yeah, well, I don’t have time to wait around for him.”

He watched her without saying a word. She was definitely not in a great mood thanks to Ian’s absence, and part of him was offended by that, and the other part knew full well she had every right to be upset. It was many silent minutes later before they spoke again.

“Can I ask you something?” She was picking at the edge of the coffee cup mindlessly.

“You know you can.”

She took a deep breath. “Did I…” She trailed off for a moment. “Did I give up my right to…” She opened and closed her mouth, unable to figure out what exactly she was trying to say, or perhaps just how to say it. “I don’t know. Did I give up my right to have expectations with Ian about…” She shook her head in frustration.

“Are you asking if he has the right to fuck around on you because of this?”

Her eyes flashed to his quickly. “Yes.”

“No.” He said adamantly. “What you did… What we did, doesn’t change—”

“Sure it does,” she said softly.

He reached over and took her hand, waiting for her to look at him. And when she did, he smiled gently. “The three of us made a decision together. Outside of the three of us, nothing changes.”

She nodded. “And if he ever… Would you tell me?”

“No,” he said calmly, studying her.

“What?” Her disappointment was clear, and she pulled her hand back from his.

He sighed. “He’s my friend, and you’re—”

“Apparently not your friend. Not even someone you respect I take it.” She stood, looking around for a moment.

“Then you took it wrong.” He stood too, following her to the door. When she reached for the handle, he held the door shut. “Don’t walk away from me.”

She eventually turned, and she leaned back against the door behind her as he looked down at her.

“It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t say anything to him. But I would deal with him, not you.”

She nodded, but she was rolling her eyes at the same time, and as he watched, she crossed her arms on her chest.

“I have a very specific role here to play, Gray, and—”

“Ah, yes. I remember,” she quipped sarcastically. “You’re nothing more than a sex toy. And a sex toy can hardly be expected to be human or compassionate enough to worry about my mere inconsequential feelings.” She glared at him cruelly. “And here you were complaining about being a prop. Bravo. I’d say you just reduced yourself to that all on your own.”

He swallowed over a lump, but it was a struggle, and as he stepped back from her, she yanked the door open.

“I’m waiting out front for Anna.”

He managed to stay in his apartment for about one minute without following her, but after he spent that minute going out of his mind, he ran down the stairs and out to the front parking lot to find her. When he came nearly skidding to a stop as Anna pulled up, he just froze and stared at Gray. She reached for the handle of Anna’s passenger door, and as Anna leaned over, she eyed him suspiciously.

“Do I need to karate chop his balls?” she asked sarcastically with a scowl on her face.

Gray looked back at him. Her eyes literally glanced to his groin before returning to his face, and then her eyes narrowed. “No need. They barely exist.” She dismissed him as she turned and climbed into Anna’s car, and she never once looked at him as the car pulled away.

He was sulking at his kitchen table when Ian waltzed in an hour later. He dropped the keys on Jasper’s kitchen counter as he strolled casually to the table. He peered around for a moment. “Where’s Gray?”

“You’d probably know if you thought to keep in contact with her,” Jasper snapped, pushing his chair back and snatching up the keys from the counter. “We’re leaving. I have shit to do.”

“Testy. What the hell? Lover’s quarrel you need to tell me about?”

Jasper froze mid-step for a moment, and then he shook his head in frustration. He didn’t acknowledge Ian’s presence at all as he walked to his car that was parked out back. Ian climbed into the passenger seat, and when he looked over at Jasper, he smirked.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on with you?”

“No,” he muttered.

“Did you have fun with my girl last night?” Ian’s eyebrows shot up.

“We played by your rules. Beyond that, it’s none of your fucking business.” He started his car quickly.

Ian snorted. “I beg to differ. But keep your secrets, if you must.” He shrugged.

Jasper put the car in reverse, and as he craned his neck around to back up, he reached for the back of the passenger seat. His hand connected with nothing, and his fingers brushed across Ian’s shoulder as Ian glanced at him.

Jasper put his foot on the brake for a moment, and he looked over at the passenger seat. “Why is the passenger seat back farther than it usually is?” His jaw clenched down tight.

Ian stared at him for a moment, but then he shrugged. “I don’t know—”

“Was someone in the car with you?” Jasper focused on the dashboard as his nostrils flared.

When Ian didn’t answer Jasper glanced to him. He caught a smug look on Ian’s face, and Jasper had to take a deep breath to still his racing heart.

“Just a co-worker.” Ian offered casually.

“Did you cheat on her?” Jasper returned his focus to the dashboard, refusing to look at Ian.

“Cheat? What an odd word choice—”

“Did you fucking stick that worthless dick of yours in some other woman?” he raged loudly as his fury erupted.

Ian finally reacted. “No. I didn’t,” he responded through gritted teeth. But as Jasper looked at him, Ian looked away. “How about you take me home? You’re clearly in a peachy mood,” he muttered.

Jasper took his foot off the brake.

Chapter Twelve

“So … this doesn’t look like three-way bliss to me.” Anna commented as she slid into the booth at the coffee shop across from Gray.

“And this doesn’t look like step aerobics to me,” she replied.

“I need fuel first. Now spill it.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Duh. All relationships are complicated, then you throw in a tall, dark, and handsome third party into the mix… Did you really think it would simplify your life?”

Gray chuckled. “Not necessarily. But I didn’t bargain on it being this complicated. I thought it was supposed to be exciting, fun, and casual. Remember? Sex doesn’t have to be about intimacy all the time.”

“A concept that seemed lost on you a few weeks ago, if I recall.” Anna picked up her bagel, tearing off a hunk and stuffing it in her mouth.

“I think it still is.”

“So, tell me about that. Does it lack intimacy?”

“No,” she thought about it for a moment. “Not with him.”

“You have two hims. Which him?”

“The wrong one.” She was cringing on the inside when she said it.

Anna took a deep breath. She was concerned, but she was holding her peace for the time being. “Is the sex that good with him in comparison to Ian?”

“I can’t say the intimacy is even related to the sex. Besides, we haven’t even had sex in the traditional sense. I’ve only been with him twice, but … it’s incredible. The intimacy is…” She shook her head. “Like nothing I expected. Like nothing I’ve experienced before. In fact, it’s making it blatantly obvious just how much that intimacy is lacking between Ian and me.”

Anna watched her, staying quiet and waiting for more.

“I feel … close to Jasper.” Gray peered up at Anna over the rim of her coffee mug.

“Then what makes you feel like you have any business being in a relationship with Ian?”

“Am I in a relationship with him? I don’t even know what that means anymore. I certainly don’t understand what it means to him.”

“Well, you’re sure as hell not in a relationship with his best friend.” Anna’s words were biting, and after she said it, her face softened. “I’m sorry. But if you want my take on this…” She studied Gray until Gray finally nodded her head. “…this is going to end badly.”

She wasn’t at all sure she could disagree with that one, so she stayed quiet, and she smiled at Anna over her coffee cup for a moment. “Well, it’s nothing step aerobics can’t cure I’m sure,” she commented sarcastically.

Anna stuck her tongue out at her for a moment, and then she wrapped up the rest of her bagel for the road. “Fine. Time for Sunday step aerobics.”

* * * *

Gray and Anna had the damn video practically memorized, and they didn’t bother stretching as they popped the DVD into the player. Butler Center had a large Pilate’s room and exercise room as well, and this was where she and Anna spent most Sunday mornings. But, however boring the video was at this point, Anna always made it interesting. Whether it was the morning she refused to put her coffee down when they started and spilled it all over the place, or the time she showed up with a squeeze bottle full of what she called mimosas, which had turned out to be ninety-nine percent champagne, it was, without doubt, fun.

And on this morning, Anna chose to liven the mood by mocking the scantily clad woman on the large video screen.

And one and two… Came from the large television.

“…Now wiggle your booty!”

And three and four…

“Get your ass off the floor!”

And five and six…

“Stick out those tits!”

Gray was nearly ready to pee her pants, and as she stopped and bent over, she clasped her hands between her legs as she laughed loudly. It wasn’t helping matters that every move the woman on the television screen made was not only being verbally mocked by Anna, but Anna was prancing on and off her step block as though she were a stripper.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Gray gasped out. “You have to stop!” She shook her head as she cleared the overwhelming laughter from her system, and then she stepped onto her block…

And then something popped…

It felt as though someone had just delivered a swift kick to the back of her ankle, and it gave out as she fell off the block, collapsing to the floor. She clutched at the back of her ankle. She sat on the floor, shocked and saying nothing as Anna’s own laughter and lewd aerobic moves trailed off.

“Gray?”

“It popped. It’s my Achilles.” She nodded, still not really reacting, but the pain was starting to set in, and as it did, she whimpered. “It popped,” she repeated herself in a stammer. “Oh, God.”

Anna stared at her for a moment, but then she snapped into action. “Okay. Don’t move.”

“Should I go to the emergency room?” Gray was starting to tremble—her body, her lips, every part of her was panicking. It stifled the pain that was radiating up the back of her calf, but the pain was there.

“No.” Anna knelt beside her. “There’s no reason. If it snapped the ER is going to do nothing but refer you to someone else. Besides, the company has those sports surgeons on contract.” Anna nodded. “Uh… Okay. I need to call Daniel.”

“Anna, it’s Sunday.”

Anna nodded. She looked as shocked as Gray felt, but she was concentrating hard as she stared at the floor mat between them. “It’s okay. Remember when Greg blew out his AC? It happened on the weekend too, and one of the surgeons from the practice was able to see him that day. They have people on call, I think.”

Anna snatched up her phone from the nearby window ledge, and Gray just stared at the floor, trying not to move. It hurt like bloody fucking hell, and with every passing second the ache was intensifying. It felt as though her calf muscles were curling around the back of her leg, and clenching down tight. And, as the pain increased, she started to whimper quietly. She knew her tension was only going to make it worse, but she’d be damned if she could calm her muscles.

“Hey, Daniel. It’s Anna. I’m at the center with Gray. We were exercising, and Gray felt a pop on the back of her heel. She thinks it’s her Achilles. We’re here, and I’m not sure—” Anna quieted for a moment. “Okay. Yeah. We’ll hang tight. Thanks.” She hung up.

“Okay, he wants us to stay here. He’s going to call one of the docs, and see if someone from the practice can take a look at you today.”

Gray just nodded, and Anna knelt back down beside her. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. I shouldn’t have been goofing around.”

“It’s not your fault. I didn’t stretch. It just—”

Anna’s phone suddenly rang, and Anna reached for Gray’s hand as she answered the phone. She was silent for a moment. “Okay. Yeah we can do that.” A pause. “Okay. No, it’s fine. I’ll call you later with an update.” And then she hung up.

“One of the doctors is coming. He has to stop at the clinic and pick up a couple things, but he said we should stay here and get ice on it to help keep the swelling down. Daniel isn’t in town right now, so he can’t get here.”

“Okay,” she nodded, biting on her lip.

“Should we call your parents?”

“No,” she said quickly. “Definitely no. They’re out of the country for the next week on that Italy tour. I can’t… I can’t—”

“They’ll want to know, Gray. You have to—”

“I’ll tell them once they’re back in the country. If I call, they’ll come home, and they… No. They’ve been planning this vacation for a year. No.”

Anna stood then. “I’m going to go get an ice pack. I’ll be right back.” She eyed Gray sadly, and then she shook her head and stood up.

Gray started crying once she was alone, and as she grabbed her phone from the floor mat beside her, she pulled up her recent calls. Anna was at the top of that list, but right under her was Ian—in red thanks to the fact he couldn’t be bothered to answer that call. She hit the send button, wishing she was calling someone else but knowing how wrong it would be if she did. She shook her head as she rolled her eyes at herself, but even as she did, her tears fell.

Ian’s phone went to voice mail, and by the time Anna returned a few minutes later, she’d reached his voice mail a few more times. Anna caught the frustrated look on her face as she sat back down beside her with the ice pack.

“He’s not picking up,” Gray muttered. “I’ve tried him a few times.”

Anna studied her, her lips pursing. Anna was, just as Jas had pegged, a very protective friend, and what happened to Gray most certainly affected Anna.

Gray tried to relax her muscles as they waited. She couldn’t seem to stop trembling, and her body was rigid as she held her core tight. She needed to relax, but it was the most difficult thing she’d ever tried to do at the moment.

There was a sudden knock echoing through the building, and Anna rushed out of the room. Moments later, a man entered with Anna.

“Hi. I’m Dr. Thomson from the Austin Sports Medicine Clinic. I hear we have an injury.”

“Yes,” Gray said quietly.

“You must be Gracelynn. I’ve treated a number of dancers from your company over the years, but I don’t think I’ve ever treated you before,” Dr. Thomson commented to her casually, smiling as he approached her.

She shook her head. “No. I saw Dr. Bruce about a year ago for tendonitis, but I’ve not seen anyone else there.”

“Okay. How long have you been dancing,” Thomson asked as he knelt down beside her.

That was an exceptionally loaded question for a dancer past her prime, and while Gray wasn’t that over the hill, she was past her peak performance days.

“Umm…” Her lips were trembling. “Uh… Since I was eight. So, nineteen years I guess.”

His focus caught on her face for a moment as he studied her. “As you know, dancing can put a lot of strain on your joints and tendons. What were you doing when you felt the pop?”

“Stepping onto the exercise block.”

“Have you had any ankle pain recently?” He reached for her leg.

“A bit. But it happens off and on.” She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes as Dr. Thomson started palpating the back of her lower leg, and she winced as the ache seared hot, but she gritted her teeth, refusing to give into the tears.

“Now, we may need to do some further testing like an MRI to determine how and where the tear—” His voice cut off abruptly, and his eyes focused on the floor for a moment as his fingers moved along the back of her heel.

She didn’t like this, and even before he said anything more, she started to pant, and her heart started to race.

He shook his head subtly, and when he looked up to her, he inhaled deeply. “I take that back.” His lips pursed for a moment in what appeared to be sympathy. “I can’t feel the tendon. It’s fully ruptured.”

Her tears fell then, and she covered her mouth with her hand. This couldn’t be happening. She shook her head, refusing to believe him. “I was hardly doing anything. I mean…”

“I’m guessing the tendon was already weakened. It’s not unusual for someone who’s been in your line of work for as long as you have.”

She just kept shaking her head for a few seconds, closing her eyes and trying to force the tears away.

“So what do we do, Doctor?” Anna took over communication at that point, and Gray was relieved. The very notion of carrying on an intelligible conversation seemed impossible at the moment.

The doctor studied her face, and Gray brushed her tears away. “Surgery is going to be your best option. The sooner the better as long as we can control the swelling. An Achilles tendon can heal on its own if properly stabilized, but it’s more prone to re-rupture, and surgery is more difficult on a re-rupture than on an initial tear. You’re too active to run the risk of a re-rupture, and surgery gives us the best chance of a good recovery.”

What he hadn’t said was full recovery, and as Gray caught the slip, she started shaking her head again. Her eyelids fluttered, and then she closed them, resting back against the mat and clasping her hands to her forehead.

“Will I be able to dance again?”

Chapter Thirteen

Jasper busied himself cleaning the bar for the better part of Monday morning. It was really just to keep his mind occupied. He’d not talked to Gray for twenty-four hours, and he wasn’t happy about it. He didn’t like the way things had ended, and the fact that simply picking up the phone and calling her was a bit taboo under the circumstances, he felt a little trapped by the situation.

When his cell rang, he pulled it from his pocket. It was Gray. His heart started hammering inside his chest, and he stared at the screen on the phone for a moment before finally swiping his finger across it.

“Hi.” He sounded far too quiet and insecure.

“Yeah. Can you get your douche of a best friend to pick up his phone? I’m with Gray at the hospital. She snapped her fucking Achilles yesterday, and she’s been trying to reach him since then.”

“Wait, what?” His voice had gone from vulnerable to frantic in half a second flat.

Anna sighed in exasperation. “We’re at Seton. She’s in surgery. Your best friend is a dick.” And then she hung up on him.

“Motherfucker!” He slammed his fist down on the bar, and then he left out the back door as Seth watched after him curiously.

He tried to call Ian but ended up leaving him a rather verbally abusive message that ended in him hanging up on the man’s voice mail. When he pulled into the hospital, he sat in his car for a moment, trying to get himself to calm down.

He found the surgical waiting room easily enough, but as he entered, his feet slowed from their fast gait to a rather pathetic shuffle. Anna was there, and the moment she spotted him, her eyes narrowed. That girl did not like him. She stood, her arms crossed on her chest, and she sauntered toward him.

“Did you misunderstand me when I said find her boyfriend and think I said douche bag three-way lover instead?” she remarked in annoyance as she approached him.

“No,” he commented through gritted teeth. “What I heard was that she was in the hospital, and since I can’t reach her boyfriend either, I decided to come myself. Now do you have something else to say to me, or do you think you could actually focus on Gray for a moment rather than how much you hate me?”

She glared for a moment, but then she sighed, and she returned to her seat. He followed and took the seat next to her.

“She ruptured her Achilles tendon when we were doing our workout yesterday. One of the sports surgeons the company uses was able to get her in this morning. They’re resecting the tendon right now.”

“So she’ll be okay?”

Anna turned toward him and sneered. “No, she’s not going to be okay. Her fucking career is over.” She shook her head then and stared at her lap. “No one’s going to tell her that, but…” She just kept shaking her head. “Why are you here, Jasper?”

That one question hit like a fist to the gut. What she was ultimately saying was he had no business being there, and yet, there was no other place in the world he wanted or needed to be. There was a huge fucking disconnect between what his life was and what he wanted it to be.

“I get that you don’t like me because of the circumstances surrounding my relationship with Gray—”

“Relationship,” she scoffed loudly, rolling her eyes.

Jasper gritted his teeth for a moment, inhaling through his nose. “I’m not the only person involved here.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not a fan of either you or Ian at the moment.”

“What exactly is it you think I’ve done to hurt her?” He hissed out quietly, trying to avoid sharing their conversation with the few other random people in the room.

She finally turned to him, facing him full on. “This has nothing to do with whether you have hurt her already. The fact of the matter is you will hurt her. She isn’t like you—even if she’s trying to keep up with your game,” she said venomously. “But, hey, if it makes you feel any better, when she gets hurt by this, I’ll be cutting Ian’s balls off at the same time as yours.”

He scoffed in annoyance and looked away. Communicating with the woman was impossible, and he wasn’t going to waste his time trying. They sat there for nearly an hour, ignoring one another, both of them side by side with their arms crossed on their chests. When a nearby door was suddenly pushed open, Anna stood.

“Dr. Thomson.” Anna rushed to the man.

Jas followed standing beside her. The doctor eyed him curiously for a second, appraising his longer hair and his worn jeans.

“And you are?” The doctor finally managed to say something.

“This is Gray’s douche bag three—”

“I’m Jasper. I’m a friend of Gray’s,” he muttered.

Dr. Thomson nodded. “I see.” And then he turned his attention to Anna, ignoring Jasper completely. “No surprises. Surgery went as expected. We’ll keep her leg splinted and wrapped for a while before moving her over to a boot once she can start putting a little weight on it. She’s in recovery, and you’ll be able to go back and see her soon. Once she’s fully awake, you’ll be able to take her home.”

Anna thanked him, and then Jasper was alone with the woman who hated him once more. When they sat again, he glanced over at her, and she looked back at him suspiciously.

“Look, I know you may not believe it, but I do respect her. I care—”

“You care?” she asked with that same damn sneer on her face.

“Yes. I do. When you called, I panicked. The idea of sitting in the bar not having any idea what was happening… I couldn’t do it. So I came.”

Anna looked down at her lap, and she sighed. She left him alone then, and half an hour later, the door opened again. A nurse called Anna’s name, and he stood with her, but as they approached the door, the nurse looked at him curiously.

“I’m sorry, sir. I only have one name listed as—”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he muttered.

Anna turned toward the door, but then she stopped and turned back around. “Don’t leave yet. I’ll tell her you’re here and see if you can come back.” She didn’t smile, but she paused for a moment, watching him. And then she was gone, and he was alone.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. It was Ian.

“Where the hell have you been?” he seethed when he answered.

“Tied up. I’ve been at the office dealing with some SOX compliance disaster. What the hell is going on? I’ve missed like twenty calls from Gray, and you more or less told me I’m the shittiest person on the planet via voice message without ever telling me what the hell I’d done wrong.”

“Gray ruptured her Achilles tendon. She just got out of surgery.”

“Oh… Well, she’s going to be fine then, right?”

“Wha— No, she’s not going to be fine. She’s… You know what? Forget it. I’m not going to try to explain this all to you. Call her later today. It’s outpatient surgery, so she’ll be home within a couple hours.”

“I have meetings this afternoon. I’ll get in touch with her later on today. Tell her I’m thinking about—”

“Tell her yourself, asshole.” He hung up on Ian and started pacing around the surgical waiting room. He stayed there pacing for nearly an hour, and when he’d all but given up hope of being admitted to see her, the nurse finally returned.

“You’re Jasper?”

“Yeah.”

“You can come on back.”

He followed the woman through a series of hallways, until she was pushing through a set of double doors, and as he followed her in, his pulse accelerated. He’d thought Gray was one of the smallest grown adults he’d ever seen the first time he met her, but as he approached her bed, she looked so small and frail he thought she could likely break if someone flicked her with their finger.

The two times they’d been intimate, his arousal had devoured the sight of her small frame against his much larger one. He’d loved their physical dynamic and the power it made him feel. At the moment, he felt helpless—stripped of every last ounce of that power. And he felt like he was staring at the most breakable thing in all the world.

The head of the bed was raised, and she was dressed in shorts and a tank top. Given the nurse who was collecting a hospital gown from the foot of the bed, she’d just changed. Anna was standing on the far side of the bed, and as she looked up, she studied him. Gray looked at him, and she stared with an unreadable expression.

“They’re getting ready to discharge her, so I’m going to go pull the car around.”

Gray glanced at Anna and nodded, and then her attention returned to him.

“Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi. How are you feeling?”

Her lips pulled up slightly, but it wasn’t enough to perk up her face. She looked wiped out and exhausted. “Okay. Sore. Queasy. But I’m all right.”

He nodded as he approached the bed. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I tried to reach Ian all day.”

He could feel his face falling, and he glanced away to hide it. But she must have caught his reaction, because the next thing he heard was her taking a deep breath, and then he felt her fingers touching his, pulling his attention back to her.

“I wanted to call you.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

She said nothing for a moment. Her lips pulled up in an odd half smile, but it fell. “Because I wanted to.”

A tremor ran through his body. It coursed with need that far surpassed the sexual desire he felt for her. He didn’t know anything about what he was feeling—nothing at all. It was at once painful and intoxicating, addicting and liberating. He felt so human and weak with her, and yet, he was more comfortable in his vulnerability than he ever imagined he could be. Why did she make him feel so many things?

“Can I ask you a favor?” Her voice sounded so tired.

His gaze was wandering down her right leg to her wrapped up foot and calf. It looked like her leg ended in a large Q-tip.

“Of course,” he said quietly.

She took a deep breath. She was nervous about whatever it was she needed to ask.

“Anna has to get to the center this afternoon for a rehearsal. They’re already scrambling to…” She looked away as she shook her head, and when her eyes returned to his, they were filled with tears. “To replace me and get the understudy up to speed on our season opener. Umm…” She sniffed back her tears. “Would you be available to babysit me?”

He smiled gently, letting his fingers wind through hers and running his thumb down her palm. “I would love to.”

She finally smiled at him.

* * * *

Jasper thoroughly enjoyed Gray on drugs. The surgeon had recommended she take two Vicodin rather than one that afternoon, and about thirty minutes after she downed the pills, she was giggling as she lazily watched the television in her bedroom. He’d gotten some toast in her, but her stomach had been too upset for anything else, and now she was lying on her left side with her right leg propped up on some pillows—an ice pack wrapped around her ankle.

He watched her from the kitchen as he finished closing up the bread bag and wiping the crumbs from the counter, and then he joined her. He sprawled out next to her in her sea of white sheets and white down, and he propped his head up to see what she was watching.

“I didn’t take you to be a Jerry Springer sort of gal,” he commented with a smirk.

She smiled at him, but her eyes looked so heavy, and they blinked in slow motion. “Well, this guy here … he’s sleeping with that gal there, you see…” her words were lazy and damn near slurred. “But that gal doesn’t like him because she’s in love with her stepfather. It’s a terrible situation. But they’re gonna do a paternity test to make sure her stepfather isn’t her mother’s… Err… That’s not right…” she muttered in confusion.

He chuckled as he watched her eyes try to focus, and then she let them close, taking a deep breath.

“Why aren’t your parents here?”

She glanced at him. “They’re doing this … Tuscan thing and drinking a lot. I think they’re on a bus even. But I don’t know. Do they have busses there?”

He shook his head. He had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. “Busses where?”

“You know. That other place. Spaghetti.” Her voice was getting heavier and her words slower. Her eyes were drooping.

“Are you hungry?” he asked in confusion.

“Not food. The place.”

He gave up perpetuating the conversation. “I reached Ian.”

Her eyes opened wider for a moment.

“He said he’s been tied up with some compliance something or other at work, but he’s going to call you later this afternoon when he has a chance.”

She snuggled deeper into the sheets and a bit closer to him, and then she sighed. Her eyes closed. “I don’t care.” She hummed as she started settling into sleep. But she wasn’t quite out yet, and she reached over, pushing her hand under his shirt and resting it on his stomach. Her fingers mindlessly kneaded his skin like a cat as she snuggled up to his body. “I like you more than him.” Her words were slow and slurred, and there was no chance she’d be remembering them. “So confusing…”

He froze. Her fingers went still as her mind disappeared, and he sank into the sheet too, rolling toward her and pulling her hand from his stomach. He lifted it to his mouth, kissing her palm. Her hands alone had the ability to drive him mad, and feeling her palm against his mouth made his insides tingle and his balls ache. But he didn’t do anything other than kiss that one small innocuous part of her body.

And then he leaned to her ear. “I like you more than him too,” he whispered. “And it is exceptionally confusing.”

He spent the next few hours channel surfing and watching her sleep. She would murmur on occasion, and more than once, she’d hummed seductively. What he wouldn’t give to be in her head right now.

When her door opened at just after four, he froze. He had no idea who it might be, and here he was in bed with her while she was virtually unconscious and drugged. When he saw Ian walk in with a large pizza box and a six-pack of beer, he sighed. It was relief. It was also disappointment.

“Hey,” Ian hollered at him as he moved to the large dining table by her kitchen. He set the box there, and then put the beer in the fridge.

“Hey.”

Gray started moving beside him at the sound of his voice, and her eyes fluttered. When she inhaled deeply, her eyes opened and stayed open. She looked at him, smiling warmly.

“How’s my girl feeling?” Ian asked as he walked toward them.

Her face froze, and she glanced nervously at his eyes. All Jasper could do was suck his lower lip into his mouth. She rolled to her back, wincing as she had to shift her foot. She looked over at Ian, but she didn’t smile. She just eyed him, saying nothing.

“I’m sorry,” Ian offered. “I got so busy. I just… No excuses.”

“Then stop making them,” she responded under her breath.

“Cut me some slack, Gray. I’m here now. And I am sorry. I was a shit okay.”

She didn’t say anything, and Ian sat beside her on the side of the bed. “I brought pizza,” he said as though it was supposed to be his mea culpa for a being an asshole.

“She’s not feeling well. Her stomach’s been upset due to the anesthesia.” Jasper stood up from the bed, scratching the back of his neck and stretching. “Listen, I better go.”

“No. Stay. We’ll have a party in bed.” Ian smirked.

“I don’t think she’s up for a party right now,” Jasper responded.

“I didn’t mean that kind of party.” Ian actually sounded offended.

“You don’t have to go, Jas.” She watched him closely as he rounded the bed toward the door. Her lips pursed sweetly, vulnerably.

“No. I do. I need to get to the bar.” He smiled at her. “I’ll stop over tomorrow if that’s okay.”

She nodded.

He walked toward the door, slipping his shoes on at the entryway, and when he glanced back it was just to see Ian pull her mouth to his, but he paused before kissing her.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. And then his lips were on hers.

Her eyelids fluttered, but they didn’t close, and as she caught sight of him over Ian’s shoulder, she stared—her eyes wide and panicked.

Jas left. It was the only thing he could do. It was the only thing he should do. Sadly, it wasn’t what he wanted to do. It was what he had to do.

Chapter Fourteen

Jasper looked oddly serious when he came the next day, not that he didn’t naturally have that air about him. And Gray couldn’t say her disposition didn’t match his. She’d intentionally left the door unlocked on her last trip to the bathroom. “Trips” anywhere were proving far more difficult than she’d initially thought. She’d always assumed she was coordinated. She was a dancer after all. She’d learned very quickly that perhaps she’d given herself more credit than she deserved.

When he entered, he was bearing take out, and she struggled to get herself up as he set the bags on the table.

“Stay there. I’ll come to you.”

He walked over, sitting on the coffee table in front of her. He just studied her for a moment.

“Thank you for yesterday.” She felt so exceptionally nervous around him at the moment. Her brain had been wracked with the worry of an overdue conversation that needed to be had, and she was struggling. She didn’t want to have this conversation. It was, in fact, exceptionally painful to even think about the words she needed to say.

“You’re welcome,” he said gently.

“I … umm…” She took a deep breath, and then she glanced down to her lap. It was another breath later before she managed to get words out. “I’m really struggling with … this…”

His expression was gentle—even encouraging. “I know.” It was as if he knew exactly what she intended to say, and there wasn’t an ounce of surprise.

She just nodded her head for a moment as he watched. “I think we need to…” She swallowed harshly, trying to figure out how to say this and dreading hearing her voice utter the words.

“It’s okay, Gray. I understand.” He reached out and took her hand. “We need to slow this down.”

“You mean stop.” It wasn’t a question in the least, just a confirmation.

He smiled, but it looked forced, and he glanced down at his lap quickly. “Yeah. We need to stop.” He looked back to her face.

She stopped breathing for a moment at the sound of the words. It was an odd thing. She’d been prepared to say the words herself, but hearing them from his lips seemed to cause her entire body to ache. It wasn’t anything more than the pure understanding that he’d come to the same conclusion she’d been trying to accept for a couple days now.

His gentle smile fell, and he glanced down to her lap. When he glanced back up, he smiled, but it seemed forced and painful. “I don’t have to want to stop to know it’s the right thing to do.” He didn’t say anything for a moment. “I think things have gotten … confusing for you.” He watched her.

She nodded. He’d nailed her on that one.

“And it’s gotten confusing for me too.”

She tried to smile, but she was guessing it wasn’t very effective. “And here I thought it was supposed to be easy, fun … simple even.” Her sarcasm was barely noticeable, but his lip pulled up slightly.

“Well, here’s the thing about that… You aren’t simple, Gray.” He focused on her intently.

“You aren’t either,” she said quietly.

“I need you to understand I have an enormous amount of respect for you, and if at any time I made you feel otherwise, then I’m sorry. I love spending time with you, and I love talking to you. I really do.”

“Can’t we?”

He looked at her and chuckled, and the smile she saw finally looked real. “Well, seeing as you currently have all the time in the world and I’m flexible … yes. Someone has to sit here and watch you be a couch potato.” He smirked, but then he looked at her seriously again. “You’re beautiful. Every part of you, and I’ve…” He trailed off, shaking his head.

“Had to redefine your type?” she offered with a smirk. In truth, her body was flushing and warming, and the smirk and sarcasm was just a pathetic attempt to hide her nerves.

“Yes.”

“So, you now include short small breasted brunettes.”

“No. I include you.”

Her cheeks warmed.

“So, how about some lunch?” He clapped his hands on the tops of his knees as he watched her.

She nodded, trying to smile, trying to act normal, trying to act as though her heart didn’t hurt because of this decision.

He nodded as well, his own smile barely there. Maybe he was trying to pretend he was okay too. He took a deep breath, though, and he reached for her crutches. He helped her stand to her feet, and as they neared the dining room table, she could smell it. Whatever the hell it was, it smelled divine.

She hummed. “Smells delicious. What’d you bring us?”

“Spaghetti. You were talking about it yesterday.” He glanced to her as he shook his head in confusion.

“Spaghetti? I was talking about spaghetti?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. It was an odd conversation that didn’t really make any sense. I thought we were talking about why your parents weren’t here, and then you said something about drinking, spaghetti, and busses.” His face scrunched up as he considered what he’d just said.

“Oh! They’re in Italy on a wine tour. So… Yeah, I don’t know why I… I don’t think I should take two Vicodin again. Things got weird in my brain.”

“Yes, they did,” he responded with a smirk on his face, but his expression was just a bit too serious.

“Did I say anything else bizarre?”

“Yes,” he said without inflection, but he didn’t elaborate, and he ignored her as he finished pulling the take out from the bag.

“And?” She asked as he moved to the kitchen to get plates and silverware.

He returned, setting her plate in front of her. When he smirked at her again, she knew he wasn’t going to be sharing anything further. They ate in silence, and once they were finished, he stayed for a couple of hours and they sat on the couch watching television. There was a good foot of space between them, and while the sitcom was funny, there was no laughter.

Things had shifted between them, and she was guessing that simply wasn’t something he could ignore any more than she could. In fact, she couldn’t ignore it at all. Her every thought seemed to revolve around the notion that there wasn’t going to be any more them. The touches were gone, the looks, the seductive tone of his voice, and his damn inappropriate and lewd words that he had no problem using when they were intimate. That was all gone. It needed to be gone, because he was right. She was confused as hell.

He finally glanced at her, and he smiled.

“I should go soon. Do you need help with anything before I leave?”

She shook her head.

“You sure? You don’t even need help taking a bath?” His eyebrows were arched as he studied her, and there was a subtle smirk on his lips.

She smiled and chuckled. “Anna came over early this morning and helped me before she left for rehearsal.”

“Damn her,” he muttered sarcastically.

“I think I’m just going to take a nap.” She was ready to run away into her dreams. She needed to be away from her real life, because as much as she agreed, understood, and fully supported this decision, the pit of her stomach felt painfully empty, and her heart felt tight and rigid in her chest.

She followed him to the door, and when he turned back to her, he took a deep breath. He reached out, running the palm of his hand down her cheek, and he tried to smile, but it looked so strained it was hard to look at him. He wrapped his arms around her as her crutches fell to the ground, and he held tight to her body.

Her eyes filled with tears as she clutched at his back, and she held her breath, trying to stifle it. But it was hopeless, and as a tear escaped, it ran down her cheek and touched his neck. He hissed as he felt it, and then he moaned quietly as his arms tightened on her. He breathed against her neck, and his fingers gently stroked against her skin as he held her, and when he released his hold on her, he steadied her with his hands on her arms.

His eyes looked glossy, and he blinked as he shook his head. When he brushed the tear from her cheek, he swallowed over a lump. “This is why we can’t.”

She nodded. She understood that perfectly well.

* * * *

“Hi, sweetie. How are you?” Her mom sounded worried even though Gray was forcing herself to act chipper.

“Hi, Mom. I’m fine. How’s Italy?” She cringed. She had a Q-tip as a foot as Jas called it, and her parents were halfway across the world with no knowledge of it whatsoever.

“It’s beautiful, but … what’s going on?” Her mother had turned her blunt voice on.

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking—”

“You’re not listed on the cast of Giselle. Your dad was trying to show you off to this lovely couple we met, and he pulled up the Ballet Austin’s website. Giselle is the season opener, and I could have sworn you were cast as—”

“Mom, I’m out for the season.” She let out a huff of breath.

There was silence from the other end for a moment. “Rod?” she hollered as Gray pulled the phone from her ear. “Rodney?”

“What is it, Viv?” she heard her father’s voice in the background.

“Our daughter has something she needs to talk to us about.”

“Mom, I didn’t say—”

“No. You didn’t say. You haven’t said anything to us about this.”

Shit. This was the unhappy version of her mother. Gray didn’t particularly like this version.

“She’s out of ballet for the season,” her mother commented to her father.

“What? That’s not possible—”

“I ruptured my Achilles tendon a few days ago. I had to have surgery to repair it. I’m going to be out for a while… Maybe forever.”

“Oh, dear… You had surgery, and we weren’t even there?” Her voice was shrill.

She didn’t need to see her mother to know her hand was covering her mouth. It’s just what she did when she was in shock.

“I’m okay. I promise. I just—”

“Why didn’t you call us?” Her father’s voice was concerned.

She sighed. “I didn’t see any reason to ruin your vacation. There’s nothing you could have done for me here.”

“Except been there!” her mother exclaimed. “Rod, we need to call the travel agent—”

“No! Mother, no. Please. I’m fine. There is no sense in you cutting your trip short for this. Please trust me. I’m home. I’m being well taken care of by … friends, and I’m getting around well. Please don’t do this. You only have a few more days there. Just stay, and… and who knows, maybe I can come to you once you’re back in Boise. Okay?” She waited.

“Oh, sweetie. We can’t just—”

“Please?” she tried again.

It was Wednesday morning Austin time, and afternoon Italy time. Her parents were leaving on Saturday to return to the states, and Gray was absolutely in the right in suggesting it was ridiculous for them to leave now. It did not mean she’d be able to convince them of that.

Her mother sighed, and as Gray listened, her father stammered “Well… Well, we can’t just…”

“I don’t know, Rod,” her mother commented sadly. “Who knows if we can even get to a large enough airport to get ourselves out of here before then. We’re in the countryside right now. It’s… Oh, I just don’t know.”

“Please just enjoy your last couple of days, and call me when you’re back.” She held her breath as she waited for their response.

“Is Ian helping out the way he should?”

“Of course he is.” Lie.

“We want you to call us every day. Do you understand? And if you need anything—”

“I’ll call. I promise.”

“We love you, dear. I’m so sorry this happened, and we can’t wait to see you.”

“I love you too.”

When she finally hung up, she sighed. Two seconds later, there was a knock on her door, and she shrieked.

“Hello!” hollered Anna as she pushed the door open.

“I’d get up, but you know,” she hollered back from the living room.

“Brought you some coffee. I had a break in my schedule and thought I’d stop over—see how you’re doing.”

Anna carried two coffees with her, and as she sank into the side chair in the living room, she offered one to Gray. “How’s it going?”

“Well enough.”

“You know, I’m out of town this weekend to Dallas to visit my parents. Say the word, and I’ll cancel.”

“No! Of course don’t cancel. Who knows, I might hop a Sunday morning flight to Boise. My parents are freaking out about this.”

“What did you expect?”

“Yeah,” she muttered.

“How are your boyfriends?” Anna smirked.

Gray laughed, but it was a little bitter. “Jasper and I aren’t—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. He’s just your sex toy.”

Gray stared at her for a moment, getting annoyed and hurt at the same time. “No,” she said pointedly. “He’s not my boyfriend or my sex toy. He’s my friend. And we’ve decided to stop.”

That shut Anna up for a moment. “Oh.” She sighed and looked away. “I’m sorry. It was rude of me to say. And what about Ian? How is that going?”

“It’s not going. He works all the time. When I see him, he pisses me off. When I don’t see him, I’m relieved.” She shook her head.

“And yet … you’re still with him.”

“I just don’t want to deal with that on top of everything else right now, and seeing as ‘with him’ doesn’t amount to much with his schedule, it’s easy to ignore.” She was still muttering.

Anna studied her for a moment. “What do you think will happen between you and Jasper if you break up with Ian?”

Gray glanced at her lap. “Nothing. Jasper isn’t interested in relationships, and I don’t think I could handle anything casual with him. It would be amazing for two seconds until it sank in that it wasn’t going anywhere. Besides, they’re friends. Things tend to get complicated when you try to remain friends with an ex’s friend. And don’t get me started on the inappropriateness of carrying on a sexual relationship with an ex’s friend. You know?”

Anna nodded slowly, but she didn’t seem convinced. “You know. I don’t know if you noticed or not, but I didn’t like him much at first.” That was the understatement of the century.

Gray snorted and laughed out loud. “Uh… You threatened his testicles twice that I’m aware of.”

“Maybe more times than just that when you weren’t around.” She smiled. “But he cares about you.”

Gray bit her lip. “I know. He respects me too. But none of that means…” She shook her head.

“Yeah,” Anna commented gently. She said nothing for a moment as she watched Gray. “You’re not avoiding breaking up with Ian because you’re afraid of losing Jasper are you?”

Gray’s eyes snapped to Anna from the place they’d been focusing on the coffee table. She started gnawing on the inside of her lip, and she shrugged. “I don’t know.” She was nearly whispering when she said it.

Anna smiled reassuringly. “Well … no sense worrying about it. You need time to sort this out in your head. You’re having to deal with a lot right now, and this little … hiatus from life you’re on… Well, maybe you can use that time to work through it.” She nodded once in confirmation of her theory. “It’s not like anyone expects you to be top of your game right now. So just be patient with yourself. Yeah?”

Gray nodded. “Yeah. Don’t have much choice do I?”

Chapter Fifteen

“What the hell are you doing here? It’s only one o’clock?” Jas looked up at Ian as he walked into the bar on Thursday afternoon.

“I’ve been working a lot lately on this SOX audit bullshit, and I decided to take the afternoon off.” Ian sank onto a barstool.

“Presumably so you can spend some time with your girlfriend.” Jasper eyed him.

“Not unless my girlfriend can use one of her crutches as a golf club. No.” Ian chuckled as he glanced away to a woman who’d just walked in and sat down at the bar nearby.

The bar stayed busy enough during the days, thanks to a popular food truck taking up permanent residence next to his property. That did not mean it was ever a full house, and he staffed enough to keep himself free during the day most of the time.

“I just saw her last night. And I have a tee time.”

“So cancel it.”

“Not likely,” Ian said in annoyance. He glanced back to the woman a few seats down, and he pushed his tongue into his cheek. It was his hey-I-don’t-know-you-but-I’m-imagining-myself-fucking-you look.

Jas approached the woman. “What can I get ya?”

“I’ll take a Dewar’s and soda.” She eyed him seductively.

“Got it.” He looked away quickly, grabbing the scotch. He mindlessly made her drink, setting it back onto the bar.

“Heavy drink for the middle of the day,” Ian commented to her.

She looked at him, smiling. Most women smiled at him. He was the pretty type with his perfect hair and his suits that made him look important. He was important. He was the CFO of one of the largest computer programming companies in town, and he’d met success early in his career.

“It’s been a shit day,” she responded, still smiling with this flirtatious smirk on her mouth.

“Well, your drink’s on me.” He flashed another smile, tipping his beer at her.

“The drink’s not on him. He’s got a girlfriend.” Jas blew his cover.

Her eyes popped open wide as she laughed, more amused than anything.

“But for the trouble, the drink’s on the house.” Jas commented without looking at her.

Ian glared at him for a moment, but then he turned to her again, smiling. “But Jasper here’s not seeing anyone.”

She cocked her head in curiosity as her attention returned to Jasper.

“I’m … unavailable.” He returned to Ian, and the pretty woman moved to a nearby table, still chuckling quietly to herself.

“You’re acting single,” Jasper muttered to Ian.

“And you’re acting not single.” His eyes glanced to the woman again for a moment as he commented, “Which is weird considering you’re always single.”

When Ian finally looked back at Jasper, he smirked. Jas shook his head for a moment as he leaned against the back counter.

“What am I supposed to do?” Ian muttered in frustration. “I’m not getting laid—”

“Your girlfriend is injured—”

“That’s not it.” He was still muttering.

Jasper decided to keep his mouth shut on this one. He wasn’t sure this was a conversation he wanted to have with Ian, but at the same time, he was itching to hear this.

“We hung out last night. And when I touched her, she said she was having her period.”

Jasper laughed then. “Umm… So maybe she’s having her—”

“She’s not.” Ian cut him off quickly.

Jasper was still laughing. “How the hell would you know? Did you pull her pants down and check?”

Ian glanced away again. “She was lying. She takes birth control pills without the placebo week to intentionally stop her period. Apparently, it’s more … convenient when you dance. And apparently she failed to remember she’d told me that. Besides, I could tell she was lying. She’s a shit liar.”

Jasper’s jaw clenched tight. It was satisfaction. It was immature, prickish satisfaction that he felt, and he wanted more than anything to smirk. So, he held his jaw tight to keep that smirk from making an appearance.

Ian downed the last of his beer. “I’ve gotta go.” He tossed money on the bar, and as he passed the table with the woman who was studying her cell phone and sipping her drink, he winked at her as she looked up.

Seth walked in a few minutes later. “Hey, boss.”

“Hey. Are we covered for the day if I take off?”

“Yep.”

“Okay. Call me if you need anything.” He pulled his car keys from his pocket and rounded the bar. He passed by the same woman on his way to the back door.

“So, you’re sure you’re not single?”

Her words stopped him in his tracks as he passed by, and he looked down at her, saying nothing.

“Seemed like your friend thought you were available. That’s all,” she commented casually as she smiled seductively.

“I assure you, I’m not.”

She shrugged in that confident way that suggested everything, including his rebuff, just rolled off her like water.

Jasper kept walking.

He pulled up in front of Gray’s building ten minutes later. He’d not been able to stop by to see her the day before thanks to a shipment being delivered at the bar later than he’d expected. That didn’t mean he hadn’t ended up on the phone with her for fifteen minutes as he lay on the bed in his apartment waiting for the delivery to arrive. Things were awkward between them for sure, but he still wanted to talk to her, and given she seemed more than happy to talk to him as well, he was guessing she felt the same way.

He’d spent that entire time with his hand on his dick, silently stroking his erection and listening to her voice. She’d spoken to her parents, or so he’d partially gathered. He was near orgasm at that point, but he was pretty sure she’d said she’d convinced them to stay in Italy for the remainder of their vacation. The second they’d disconnected he’d come all over his stomach, panting and gasping. Ian wasn’t the only sexually frustrated man in Austin.

“Gray,” he hollered as he entered her loft. It was empty as he looked around. “Gray, where are you?” he hollered louder than the first time.

A sudden crash came from her bathroom, and then a loud squeal. He ran toward the room, bursting through the door in a blind panic. She was sprawled awkwardly out on the floor, propped up on her elbows with her legs splayed wide open. Were that all, he could likely have handled himself better, but in addition to the lewd pose, she was completely and utterly naked, soaking wet, and her hair lathered in a large mess of bubbles.

His eyes zoned in on that place between her legs he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about, and he gaped.

“Uh… Hi. I’m up here. And I could use some help.” She was panting.

He finally pulled his focus from her pussy, and he chuckled as he approached her. Until he saw the blood on her forehead. “Jesus, Gray. What happened?” He knelt beside her, grabbing a hand towel from the counter next to them.

He held the towel to her head, and when he pulled it away, he saw the small scrape. It wasn’t bad. Her bubbles smelled like lavender, and as he looked down at her, he started chuckling. “Okay. You can explain all this while I help you get this soap out of your hair. Is your ankle okay?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I managed to keep myself from putting my foot down, which is odd seeing as everything else hit the ground.” She winced as she sat up.

Her ankle was unwrapped and laying limply on the tile floor. She couldn’t use it yet, but she was able to take the splint and wrap off to bathe. But, for some unknown reason, that had somehow ended badly on this day. He lifted her, getting his clothes soaked as he did, and then he gently laid her down in the bathtub. It was filled with only six inches of water, and she draped her bad ankle over the side.

He turned the water back on, adjusting the temperature and trying to keep his eyes off the parts of her body that were most distracting to him. Sadly, he loved her eyes, he loved her tits, he loved her waist, he loved her hips, he loved her pussy, and he even loved her knees. Every inch of her was unsafe. Except perhaps her feet.

He focused on them as she held her head under the faucet, but she moaned quietly as she rinsed, and his attention snapped to her mouth. Yeah, he loved her mouth too. Once her hair was clean, she leaned against the back of tub, holding a wet washrag up to her forehead.

“Now, explain.”

She looked at him, smiling sheepishly, covering her breasts with her arm. They were no longer fucking around after all, and as she demurely tried to cover up, he took a deep breath.

“Well, I was washing my hair. My phone rang, and so, I thought I should see who it was. I grabbed one of my crutches, and I thought I could just … you know … hop over to the counter to check my phone, but then…” She shook her head. “I don’t know. Something happened, and I slipped, and I hit my head on one of my crutches.”

He looked down as he started to silently laugh. When he looked back up, she shrugged as though she couldn’t quite figure out where in her brilliant plan things had gone wrong.

“Let me get this straight. You injured yourself on your medical equipment?”

She bobbled her head back and forth a couple of times. “Yeah. I guess you could put it that way.”

He laughed again. “This would have been a bad idea on a good day. When you’re crippled, it goes from the bad category to the ridiculously bad category.”

He pulled the drain on the bathtub, and they studied one another as the water lowered. She kept her breasts hidden from him, and she’d dropped the rag to use her free hand to cover her groin. It was almost offensive. Of course, he understood, but … he didn’t like it. He lifted her and set her on the side of the bathtub as he grabbed a towel, and he waited for her to pat her body dry and squeeze the water from her hair. She wrapped herself up tightly in the towel and then used another to vigorously rub her hair, nearly toppling over as she tried to balance with her bad foot held up in the air.

“Whoa.” His hands were held out toward her like a parent trying to guess which way their clumsy toddler was going to fall. The whole ordeal left her hair looking wild and crazy.

When he leaned down to lift her into his arms, she stopped him.

“I can use my crutches.” She was being stubborn.

He stood up smirking at her. He was pulsing inside, but he was hiding it. In truth, he was struggling to keep things on the platonic plane they’d relegated themselves to thanks to all her nudity and cute ass behavior. He reached down and grabbed her crutches for her, standing them up at her side. She stood, and he smiled at her.

“Have fun with that,” he commented casually.

“I will,” she said defiantly.

He chuckled as he followed her from the bathroom. She made it about two feet beyond the bathroom door before her towel came undone and fell to the floor. She gasped and froze in place. He was too busy staring at her ass to say anything for a moment.

“Jas,” she whispered out.

He finally pulled his attention up to the profile of her face as she cocked her head around in an attempt to see him. He hummed as he walked toward her. He wasn’t supposed to be doing this. He definitely shouldn’t be doing this, but his cock was hard and pressing against the front of his pants, and he was breathing shallowly as he tried to rein in the nearly overwhelming need to touch her. He couldn’t stifle this. He didn’t know how to stifle anything with her. He’d thought he could. But this was…

“Please, Jas,” she gasped out.

He froze mid-step for a moment, but then he snatched the towel up from the floor behind her, and he walked around to the front of her. She was breathing quickly, her chest rising and falling rapidly as he let his eyes wander over her completely naked body. Her eyes glanced down to his groin, and she whimpered.

“Towel,” she said.

He studied her eyes for a moment. He imagined telling her no. He imagined making her walk all the way to her bedroom naked. He imagined clutching her up in his arms and carrying her naked to bed, pushing his pants down only far enough to get his cock inside her. In the space of those few seconds, he imagined so many different scenarios that his brain was left spinning.

But in the end, he walked up to her, wrapped the towel around her, lifted her in his arms, and carried her to bed as her crutches clanked to the floor. He set her on the side of the mattress, and he walked away toward the bathroom before he could turn back and do something inappropriate.

As he rifled through her medicine cabinet, he focused on something building inside him. It was anger. It was anger at her, anger at Ian, hell, anger at himself. What the hell did she see in Ian? What the hell did Ian see in her? And why the hell did he feel like he owed Ian even one ounce of loyalty? Ian wouldn’t care what he did to her, or at the very least, he’d get over it. So why the hell couldn’t he?

But then his focus shifted to her. That would hurt her. She didn’t need the guilt, and he knew well enough that even if Ian didn’t give a shit, she would. She was holding on to her relationship with Ian for some reason. He didn’t understand what it was, but he wasn’t going to overstep any lines to find out either, because however he pushed her, it would only end in her guilt. Her own fucking boyfriend had given her permission to be attracted to another man and had expected it not to have consequences. The odd thing was the consequence wasn’t to Ian; it was to her. Jas could easily push her over the edge thanks to the permission Ian had given them, but at what cost to her conscience?

When he finally found her small first aid kit, he snatched her brace and ace bandage off the floor, and as he stalked back to her, he grumbled and grabbed her crutches from the floor. She was still sitting on the edge of the bed, and she looked nervous when she glanced up at him. It softened the hot anger of unfairness that was coursing through him at the moment, and he took a deep breath as he sank to his knees in front of her.

He slipped the splint that ran along the sole of her foot and up the back of her leg into place, and she held it as he started to wrap the ACE bandage around and around and around. He used the clips that were stuck to the bandage to fix it in place. She was studying him intently, holding her towel tightly across her chest.

When he kneeled up, he finally looked at her. Her lips were parted slightly, and her nervousness looked so fucking arousing his cock twitched at the unintentionally hooded and sexy eyes. He didn’t look away from her eyes when he reached for her knees, and he pushed them apart as he moved closer to her. She held the towel closed at her groin for a moment, but as he stared at her, she released it, swallowing over a lump in her throat and looking down at his chest.

She was terrified. She was also aroused and helpless to push him away. She felt the exact same way he felt, and he didn’t need her to say it to know it with absolute certainty. When he reached for the first aid kit on the bed, it pushed the front of his jeans into her sex, and she whimpered. He moaned quietly.

He couldn’t seem to be this close to her without overstepping the lines they’d put in place two days before, and he very consciously ignored those lines as he kept his body entirely too close to hers. He opened the small plastic box. The scrape had stopped bleeding, and he tore a single use packet of antibiotic ointment open, squeezing a small amount on his middle finger.

His free hand ran over the top of her thigh, pushing up under the towel to grip her hip, and as his fingers dug into her skin, he reached for her forehead and ran the ointment over the scrape. She was panting, and he could feel those breaths against his chin. He was only inches from her mouth, and all he needed to do was lean forward the slightest distance to get his lips on hers.

But he didn’t. He grabbed a bandage, opening it and quickly pulling his hand from her hip, so he could place the bandage over the scrape. Once he was finished, he stayed still, his body so inappropriately close to hers. Even as he reached for the top of her towel, he knew he was making a mistake, but his fingers wouldn’t listen to his brain, and if he were completely honest, his brain was a traitorous fucking thing that wasn’t putting up much fight at all. He pulled the towel loose even as a rush of air left his lungs. The towel pooled at her waist, and then he stilled again, trying to figure out how to walk away from this.

His focus moved down to her tits. Her nipples were small and hard as stone. His hands twitched as he imagined touching them. His lips trembled as he imagined sucking on them. He slowly moved his focus upward. He needed to see her eyes. He needed her permission to go further. But his focus stalled out when he looked at her lips. She licked them, and he watched them tremble. But then she shook her head…

It was so slight, so subtle he could nearly ignore it. Part of him thought she wanted him to ignore it, but then he glanced to her eyes. They were wide, terrified. She may be aroused as hell right now, but she knew full well they were treading into dangerous territory. He may have wanted to ignore his own warnings, but as he focused on those beautiful green eyes, he didn’t ignore hers. He sank back to sit on his calves, and he gripped his forehead, squeezing it as he took a deep calming breath.

He stood quickly, moving to her dresser. He pulled a pair of underwear from the drawer, a pair of gray short cotton shorts, and a white cotton tank top out as well. When he returned to her, he set the clothes beside her. She pulled the towel back up to cover her body.

“Please tell me you can dress yourself, because if I have to help you, I’m done for.”

She smiled shyly. “I can handle this,” she said quietly.

“Thank fuck,” he muttered as he walked away.

He found a frozen pizza in her freezer, and he busied himself heating up her oven as she dressed. Her home was entirely too open to afford her any privacy and him any chance at decency, and he glanced at her regularly as she changed. When she came crutching into the kitchen, he shook his head in exasperation. The shorts were short, and the white tank top was just thin enough he could see her tight pink nipples through the fabric.

He was starting to think he couldn’t do anything right on this day.

He behaved himself through lunch, and she ended up lying on the couch in the living room after he kicked her out of the kitchen as he cleaned up. She was lying on the sofa with her foot propped up on the back, and he sank down in front of her wrapped up foot, pulling her good foot onto his lap. He kneaded the sole of her left foot as they watched T.V., and he kept his eyes on the television, rather than letting them shift to her.

It was a perfectly enjoyable afternoon…

Until her door burst open…

“Yoohoo!” A woman called out.

“Honey, we’re here,” called a man’s voice. “Now don’t be upset, but we simply couldn’t…”

And then the middle aged couple’s eyes found them on the couch. Gray was struggling to sit, but with one foot behind his head and her other foot on his lap, it was an awkward fight for her to get her body upright.

The woman at the door gasped in shock, and that’s when Gray’s bad foot nailed Jasper in the back of his head. The splint was made of hard plaster, and as she managed to get her foot around his head and sit up at the same time, he hissed and reached for the back of his head.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry,” she said as she reached for his cheek, but then she pulled her hand back quickly as her eyes returned to the startled couple at the door. “Mom. Dad. What are you doing here?”

Chapter Sixteen

This could not be fucking happening.

“Uh… Well, umm… Well, we just… uh…” Her mother was stammering as she walked slowly toward them, eyeing Jasper suspiciously.

“Well, dear, we just wanted to see you, and uh…” Her father stared at Jasper for a moment, before he managed to look back at her.

Jasper stood then, approaching them and holding his hand out to her father. “Hi. I’m Jasper Drees. I’m a friend of Gray’s.”

To Gray’s horror, her dad stared at him for a moment, refusing to take his hand. “Oh. Yes. Well, I’m Ron Ellis. I’m her father. This is my wife Viv. It’s … good to meet you.”

Jasper nodded, and Gray started struggling to get herself up. When she was finally motating toward them, she took a deep breath.

“Dear, where is Ian?” Her mother chimed in. “I mean. Are you two…?” The suspicion was still there in her expression, but it was now coupled with judgment, and Gray groaned inside.

“No!” Gray replied quickly, still trying to catch up to them.

Jasper turned to her mother, offering her his hand as well. “No. We’re just friends. I’m actually a friend of Ian’s. I’ve known him since I was a child.”

“Really?” her mother exclaimed as her eyes traveled over him. She so clearly was trying to draw the dots between Gray’s straightly laced boyfriend, Ian, and her newfound rather rough looking friend, Jasper. But her mom eventually took his hand, clutching her hand to her chest in relief as Gray internally fell apart. “Oh! Well, thank goodness. I thought for a moment…” She rolled her eyes as if the notion were ridiculous.

Her mom’s relief was offensive. The way her eyes appraised Jasper was too, and as Gray finally reached them, she opened her mouth to say as much.

“Yes. Well, we can’t all be as amazing as Ian now can we?” Jasper commented sarcastically before Gray could say a word. But there was a hint of coolness to his voice, even though he was plastering a casual smirk to his face.

When his eyes met hers, she was staring wide-eyed back at him. His expression faltered, and he shook his head subtly, looking guilty for having reacted to her parent’s inappropriateness. All she wanted to do was reach out and touch him.

“Umm…” He pulled his hand back from her mother. “I should really go.”

And at just that moment, their hell became even hotter. There was a knock on the door, and then it opened. Clearly being incapacitated meant people could and would simply come and go as they pleased from her home.

Ian was standing there. He took in the sight of them all, and then he plastered his broad smile widely across his face. He’d met her parents when they’d visited a few months back, and he’d charmed the hell out of them. Ian was good at charming people, herself included at one point in time, and now as he stepped through her door, that charm was back, exuding his confidence and competence like a tractor beam aimed at her parents.

“Ron and Viv! Gray said you were out of the country. I just can’t believe you’re here.” He shook his head as he rushed to them, shaking her father’s hand and pulling Viv into a hug. “It’s so good to see you both. I hope you didn’t think we weren’t taking care of your girl for you.”

“No! No, of course not, Ian.” Her mother beamed at him. “We were just so worried.”

“We know you’re looking after her,” her dad commented as he clapped a hand on his shoulder.

Gray caught herself shaking her head, and as she looked over at Jasper, he was staring at the ground, shaking his head subtly too. He looked up to her, and he swallowed over a lump. He looked so lost and completely vulnerable it broke her heart, and all she wanted was to reassure him. It was so wrong that he should be made to feel this way in her home, and her eyes felt warm and wet at the very notion that he could be hurt by her own parents.

“I’m going to go,” he said quietly.

She had no intention of stopping him, because he had every right to want to be away from this, but then Ian descended on him and her parents followed suit.

“Stay!” Ian exclaimed. “Let’s sit and visit for a while. I assume you told them what good friends you and Gray are.”

Jasper didn’t respond. He just watched her, his eyes nearly sad. She bit her lower lip, and he shook his head subtly again.

“You must stay, Jasper,” her mother chimed in as her father agreed. “I’m so looking forward to getting to know you better. Any friend of Gray’s is a friend of ours.”

Her parents were ready to like him now that they weren’t suspicious of his relationship with their daughter. Odd, they seemed to like Ian more for his relationship with her, but the mere notion that there could be anything untowardly between she and the intimidating looking man with his unique look, and it was cause for alarm—not to mention a few passive aggressive inappropriate comments.

She wanted him to say no, not because she didn’t want him there, but because he didn’t deserved to have to be there. But he nodded his head, and he glanced at her as he took a deep breath.

They ended up in the living room, and after Ian thrilled her parents with his talk of being important, the focus shifted to Jasper who was sitting silently by.

“So, Jasper. Tell us, do you have a girlfriend or a wife?” Her mother could be nosy with the best of them when she wanted to.

Jasper’s eyes glanced to Gray’s quickly, but then he shook his head. “No, I’m not—”

“Jas is what I would consider the quintessential bachelor,” Ian offered with an amused smile. “He’s not interested in long-term commitment, if you know what I mean.” Ian winked at her mother, and Gray gritted her teeth.

Jasper stood then taking a deep breath as he moved. But when he smiled it was kind—strained, but still kind. He looked at her parents. “I really do have to go. It was nice to meet you both. I’m glad you’re here for Gray.”

Her chest was seizing up, and she needed so much to be alone right then so she could fall apart. There was so much well restrained pain in him, and she didn’t know why she was the only one in the room who could see it.

Jasper looked at her then. “I’ll see you soon,” he said quietly, and she nodded stiffly.

He ignored Ian as he walked by, but Ian hollered after him. “Perhaps dinner at my house before Ron and Viv leave to go back to Boise.”

Jasper paused, turning back. He looked at her, and she tried to smile. But she was humiliated. She was humiliated by the entire situation and what she knew it was doing to him.

“Sure. Sounds good.” And then he was gone.

She sat there in a stupor as Ian chatted with her parents, and fifteen minutes after Jasper left, she finally stood up.

“Dear, do you need help?”

“No, Mom. I just need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be fine.”

She managed to hold it together until she made it to the bathroom and closed the door behind her, and then she fell apart. Her tears fell as sobs racked her body. She sank to the side of the bathtub, covering her mouth to stifle the sound as her chest shuddered and her breathing lurched. It hurt. All of this hurt so fucking much. They’d put a stop to this to avoid the hurt. So, why the hell did every part of her body ache as though it was attached to the ache she felt in her heart?

* * * *

Gray made it through the evening without any more breakdowns, and she even smiled and enjoyed talking to her parents about their trip, but once they were settled into the pullout bed in the living room and she was in bed, her thoughts returned to Jasper. She stared into the dark for what felt like hours, and when she finally rose, she held her cell phone precariously in her hand as she slowly made her way to the bathroom.

She closed the door, and then she sat on the side of the bathtub. She dialed and waited, her heart beating fast.

“What the fuck do you want?” he said, but she could almost see the smirk on his lips.

She smiled. “To know if you’re okay.”

He was silent for a moment. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“I wish I was there with you right now,” she commented.

He hummed. “That would be inappropriate, wouldn’t it?”

“Not for that reason,” she corrected quietly.

He was suddenly quiet, and he let that silence draw out. “And what would you be doing here then?”

She closed her eyes, imagining him standing in front of her. “Apologizing to you in person. Wrapping my arms around you. Touching you in all the most innocent places I could to let you know how sorry I am.”

She heard the quietest lurching breath from him but nothing more.

“Jas, I’m so sorry… Everything just seemed to fall apart there for a while, and I feel awful about the way my parents were with you—”

He took a deep breath. “Don’t be sorry. They were just worried about you and startled to see someone they don’t know with their daughter in a less than—”

“We weren’t doing anything wrong.”

He chuckled, but it was quiet. “From their perspective it probably seemed like we were. Your foot was behind my head after all,” he commented wryly. “Which by the way, thanks for cracking me in the back of the skull. I have one hell of a knot now thanks to you.”

She laughed quietly, finally releasing some of her tension. “Yeah. I guess it could have looked bad to them.”

“Could have looked bad? I could have leaned over and eaten your pussy, sweetie. Yeah. It looked bad. And I don’t pack quite the same first impression as your dear boyfriend does.”

His voice didn’t sound the least bit offended or bitter as he said that, but it didn’t mean it didn’t leave a bitter taste in her mouth.

“I liked my first impression of you,” she said softly.

“And what was your first impression of me?”

She hummed. They were flirting with that line again. But at least they had a few miles between them this time. “You were dark and mysterious. Cool and calm. You were intriguing.”

He chuckled warmly. “I like that. My first impression of you was that … you had small tits, and I wanted to stick my tongue up your tight little ass.”

She gasped, and then she clapped her hand over her mouth.

He laughed again. “Sorry. Too blunt. You know I’m known for it.”

She coughed and cleared her throat as she tried to recover from that, but when she finally did, she quipped back. “That’s not an impression. That’s an urge, nothing else. Shallow and meaningless really.”

“Fine. I didn’t know what to make of you in the theater that first day, but by the time I hung up the phone with you in the middle of the night that night, I liked you. I just liked you. You have a way of making me want to talk, of making me want to be open and vulnerable with you. I’m not used to that feeling.” His voice was quiet.

She bit into her thumbnail as she listened.

“But I like it. Because it makes me feel okay about myself. And that’s a struggle sometimes.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. “I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t or shouldn’t feel okay about yourself.”

“Thank you.” He was quiet for a moment. “So I learned something about you today.”

“Is that so?”

“It is so. I learned your last name is Ellis.”

She laughed. “And I learned yours is Drees. I like it.”

“I was thinking the same thing of Ellis.”

There was a sudden knock on the door, and she yelped.

“Gracelynn, are you in there?” her mother’s voice hollered through the door.

“Just a minute, Mom,” she responded.

Jas chuckled. “Busted. How about I say good night now, and you stay quiet, so your mom doesn’t know you were talking to that dark and mysterious man that scared her this afternoon? Good night, Gray. Sleep tight.”

Click.

She smiled for a moment. “Come in.”

Her mother opened the door to see her sitting on the side of the tub with her phone in her hand. She took in the sight of the phone, and she tried to smile. “Do you always take your phone to the bathroom?” She stepped through the door and closed it behind her.

“Sometimes.” She said nothing else.

“Were you talking to that man?”

“Why would you assume that?” This might just piss her off.

“I don’t know. Something about you two.” Her mother was eyeing her suspiciously.

“We weren’t doing anything when you walked in.”

Her mom leaned against the bathroom counter. “I believe you.”

Gray shrugged, leaning down and grabbing both crutches in her hand.

“But that’s not what I was referring to.” Her mom pinned her to her spot with her eyes. “I’m talking about the way you act around one another. It’s…” It was her mother’s turn to shrug. “Well, I don’t know what it is.”

“I’m tired mom. I should—”

“You have a boyfriend. Ian seems like a nice man. Well educated. Good job. I thought you were crazy about him. We were crazy about him for you because we thought you were crazy about him.”

She sighed in exasperation. “The package a person comes wrapped in can be deceiving. It says nothing of what’s underneath.” She pushed herself up to stand.

“Am I to assume you’ve discovered what lies beneath a different package—one that’s perhaps a bit less conventional on the outside?”

Gray rolled her eyes. “You can assume whatever you like. I love you mom, but this topic is off limits.” She started for the door then, but she paused as she reached it, looking toward her mother. “You and Dad are better people than I saw today. I know you were startled, but please don’t ever treat one of my friends so poorly again.”

Her mother’s eyes shifted to the ground in front of her, and Gray walked out, slowly creaking her way back to bed as her mother stared at the floor.

Chapter Seventeen

“Hi, G. It’s Jas.”

“Good Sunday to you.”

“And to you as well.”

It was their routine. Every Sunday he’d pick up the phone and call his grandmother for their weekly chat, and every Sunday she’d answer the same way. She was the only family he had, at least the only family who cared to speak with him or acknowledge him.

“Why do you sound tired, G? Did I call too early?” It shouldn’t be. It was nearly eight-thirty in the morning on the west coast, and he knew full well that on any given day she’d already walked two miles at this point, had her allotted two cups of coffee, and probably made her first purchase of the day from the Home Shopping Network.

“Oh, I’m just fine now. Don’t you worry about your G. I’m eighty-six after all.”

“You are not. You’re eighty-nine, you old woman.”

She chuckled. “It’s the dementia.”

“You’re sharp as tacks.” She was too. He sighed. “Fine. You’re allowed to be tired.”

“Thank you. Now, how about you tell me why you sound tired.”

“I’m not tired at all.”

“Something’s wrong, though. I can tell.” She could be as blunt as him. “Things all right at the bar?”

“Yep. Just fine.”

She hummed. “Money problems?”

“Not at all.”

“Well then, it must be a girl problem.”

He laughed. What he didn’t do was disagree with her. There was no point. She’d been catching his lies from the time he was a child, and she didn’t let him get away with it anymore now than she did when he was thirteen.

“Yeah. Something like that.”

“Tell me about her.”

He took a deep breath, flopping down on his bed in the apartment above Graystone. “She’s incredible. The other man in the picture is not.”

She hummed, but this was a troubled one. “Jas, please tell me you’re not involved with another man’s woman?”

He winced, trying to figure out how to answer this one.

“Oh, Jas—”

“It’s not like that. It’s … complicated. But … what it amounts to is that she’s my friend. And she’s in a relationship with another man. And… I don’t want her to be.” He exhaled deeply. “And I don’t think she should be.”

“Well, I’m not so sure you want to be with a woman who can’t see that she’s in the wrong relationship. What’s this other man like?”

He laughed. “Uh… He’s… Well, he’s Ian.”

She laughed loudly then. “Huh…” she remarked. “Bad apple, that one. Don’t know why you and he are still friends. You know, I know he helped you out a lot when you first moved to Austin—fronting the money for the bar and letting you live with him for a while, but … that doesn’t mean you owe him anything.”

“Yeah, I know.” Did he?

“Well, I just don’t like that man one bit.” She’d never been a fan of Ian’s, not since they were children. “And, honey, if this woman can’t see that you are twice the man as Ian, then she’s lost her marbles.”

He laughed. “Well, there are times I think she has.”

“Tell me more about her—like why in the hell is she with a loser like Ian?”

“She’s going through a lot right now. She injured herself. It severely impacts her career, if not ends it. And … in truth, she has no reason to think I want more from her than what we are. She knows I tend to date a lot and nothing more.” That was grandma appropriate talk for fucking meaningless women to get off. “I’m supposed to have lunch with Ian, her, and her parents in a while, but … I really don’t want to go.” He sighed in exasperation. “I met her parents once, and I can’t say they seemed too thrilled to see their daughter hanging out with someone like me.”

“Someone like you? What the hell does that mean? Someone kind and thoughtful? Someone who’s made a lot of himself from very little? Someone who’s had to work hard to overcome a difficult start? What?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah. I do. You mean you don’t think you’re good enough for her. You mean that whatever reservations her parents might have about you, you’d rather believe them and accept their judgments than prove them wrong. I know exactly what you mean.”

He definitely got his bluntness from this woman.

He sighed. He didn’t know what to say to that.

“You go to that lunch, and you hold your head up, and you be proud of who you are, regardless of whether a single one of them sees it. Stop letting Ian or anyone else decide your worth. That man is a lost cause that has weighted you down while shining like he’s got a firecracker stickin’ out his ass.”

He chuckled.

“He may well be good at impressing the world, but the world doesn’t know him.”

“Yeah. Okay. If I’m going to this lunch, then I better get to it.”

“You keep me posted. This is entirely too much excitement for this old woman to handle, but I’ll be damned if it ain’t like my stories on the television.”

He laughed. “I’ll call you soon. I love you, G.”

“I love you too, Jas.”

* * * *

They sat on the patio at Ian’s house for lunch, and Jasper sat directly across from Gray. Her parents watched him like a hawk, but there was something rather curious about the way they studied him. The first time he met them, it was all suspicion until Ian arrived and assured them he was nothing more than their daughter’s friend. Now, they watched him closely, but when he’d look up at them and catch them watching, they’d smile awkwardly as though they found him more intriguing than suspicious.

He passed Gray food when she needed it, refilled her water glass when she ran out, and when she dropped her fork on the ground, he stood before he realized what he was doing and turned toward the house. Her mother stood at the same time, and then their eyes met for a moment.

“I’ve got it,” he said quietly, and Viv’s focus shifted to Ian who was sitting at the head of the table oblivious to what was happening as he ate his food and talked to Ron.

Her parents had to be at the airport that afternoon to catch an early evening flight home to Boise. Ian had picked them all up from Gray’s loft, and now, as they finished dinner, he started glancing to his cell phone regularly.

“Anything the matter,” Viv asked him. But her expression was cool, nearly icy.

Ian glanced at her. “Nah. Just work stuff.” He smiled broadly. “We’re dealing with our annual record keeping audits. We have to survey…”

He droned on for a while, and when Jas glanced at Gray across the table, her lips pursed sweetly in a small smile. He couldn’t help but smile back at that. When he caught Viv watching them, he cleared his throat, suddenly nervous. Her parents scared the shit out of him, and he couldn’t quite figure out why. He supposed it was because he really wanted them to like him, and he wasn’t at all sure he had much control over that.

“Jas, I don’t suppose you’d have time to run us to the airport in a while?” Viv asked him.

“Sure,” he responded. It might have been a casual response, but he was panicking. When he glanced to Gray, she looked about as panicked as he felt.

“I could go,” Gray offered.

“Nonsense, dear. You stay and rest.” Her mom smiled sweetly.

Gray’s face scrunched up. “Well, I don’t need to rest. I’m fine.”

Viv laughed loudly. “Are you worried about us spending time with your friend Jasper?”

“No.” Gray started shaking her head, but then it turned to nodding, and then her face twisted up as her mom laughed at her.

“I’ll be fine, Gray.” He had absolutely no knowledge of whether or not that would prove to be true.

Gray scoffed, and he smiled at her.

Ian turned his attention to her parents then. “Don’t you worry. I’m taking good care of your girl. She has my undivided attention.”

Jasper wanted to vomit a little, and as he glanced at Viv, she leveled a cool smile in Ian’s direction. Of course Ian was oblivious. Within thirty minutes they were headed toward Austin-Bergstrom in Jasper’s car. Gray’s eyes had teared as she’d hugged them goodbye, and he’d watched her.

Now though, he was trapped, with her father beside him in the passenger seat and her mother in the back seat. He glanced in the rearview mirror, catching sight of Viv who happened to be watching him.

“She’s a special girl,” Viv commented with a curious smile on her face.

Ron glanced over at him, and he chuckled. “Buckle in, son. Viv’s on a roll.”

He returned his attention to Viv in the mirror. “Yes, she’s very special,” he agreed.

“Are you a good friend to her?” Well, that was pointed if nothing else.

“I’d like to think so. She’s a good friend to me.”

“How so?”

He contemplated just how open he wanted to be with two people who’d made him feel like a piece of shit the first time he’d met them. “She makes me feel good about myself. She’s never judged me for my past, how I grew up, where I came from.”

Her mother’s lips pursed. It was guilt.

“She’s never seen me as anything other than … just … me. And she likes me regardless of everything else.”

Viv nodded.

“We owe you an apology, Jasper,” Ron said from beside him.

“We didn’t know what to make of you the first time we met you, and it must have made you feel pretty awful being scrutinized by us, when all you were doing was being a friend to her.” Viv had picked up where Ron had left off. “And don’t think for a second that our daughter let us off lightly for our behavior,” she commented sarcastically.

“You were just worried,” Jasper offered, but his blood was tingling warmly through his veins at the idea that Gray had defended him against them. It ought to be the other way around in his mind, but he still appreciated it.

“Sure,” Viv chimed in. “It’s what we do. But we also want our daughter to be happy.”

He took a deep breath. He had no idea where this was going.

“But we’ve come to realize that how she finds that happiness or who she finds that happiness with isn’t really a matter for us to decide. Perhaps her happiness is packaged in someone a little less conventional than we would have expected.”

His hands tightened on the steering wheel, and he swallowed harshly before he nodded his head tensely.

“As her friend, please look after her for us. She’s scared right now. Her career is in jeopardy, and she doesn’t know what that’s ultimately going to mean for her.” Viv watched him for a moment. “She can be very open, can’t she?” Given the look on Viv’s face, that wasn’t really a question.

He couldn’t stop the small smirk. “Yes, she can.”

Viv smiled warmly at him. “I like to think of that as a gift of hers. But sometimes I think it makes her seem like she’s doing okay, when in fact, she’s not. She’s going through a lot right now. I’d like to think she has someone here who genuinely cares about what’s in her best interest.”

“I do.”

“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if we didn’t believe that.”

Chapter Eighteen

Gray sat on the side of the pool with both legs dangling into the cool water. Her surgery only required three small holes in the back of her ankle, and they were all but healed at this point. She’d removed her splint and wrap, and as she let her legs relax in the water, she slumped her shoulders and gripped the side of the pool. Ian was pacing around the patio, chatting on his phone. It was work related. She could tell by the drivel of boringness he was spewing out, but at the same time … she knew he was speaking to a woman.

There was something too flirtatious, though not overt, about the way he addressed this particular co-worker, and she wasn’t sure she could even put her thumb on it—hell, if she was even right. She listened, cocking her head over her shoulder and trying to pinpoint exactly what it was.

He laughed quietly.

He hummed.

He joked.

He walked inside then, closing the door behind him, and as Gray looked down into the water, she figured it out. Ian had done everything with the unknown person on the phone that she and Jas did nearly every time they saw one another. Their voices were always quieter when they were together. He hummed warmly at nothing more than the sound of her voice. They knew how to have fun. They were just … close.

She had no right to be offended by what she’d heard of Ian’s phone call. But the odd thing was, even if she did have the right, she simply didn’t care, and that was exceptionally frightening, because her life was attached to it. She felt as though she were suffocating, and as she stared into the water, her body tremored and her insides tightened into knots.

She wrapped her leg quickly, and she pushed up from the ground. She found him in his bedroom, setting clothes out on the bedspread. She stared at the head of the bed for a moment, remembering the first night she’d been with Jasper. He’d watched her so intently as she was having sex with Ian. His eyes had penetrated her and set her blood on fire, and when he’d finally put her body under his, that intensity hadn’t faded. It hadn’t faded, in fact, since that day, and given they’d only been intimate twice, there was no question that intensity between them wasn’t really related to sex at all. How was that even possible?

Ian walked out of the closet, moving to his dresser and pulling the top drawer out. “What’s up, Gray?” he asked without looking at her.

“I just wanted to talk to you.”

He glanced at her for a half a second, but then he turned toward the bed, setting a few T-shirts out.

“I’m really having a hard time with…”

He didn’t bother looking at her as he counted his way through a stack of underwear, and when he was finished, he set the stack down. “Mm-hmm.”

“I’m not happy, and—”

“That’s great, babe,” he said mindlessly. He’d moved on to socks, and as she watched him, he picked through a pile. He’d clearly heard nothing of what she was saying.

“Ian. Are you listening to me? I’m—”

“Gray, listen. I just got called out of town, and I have to be in Dallas by seven tomorrow morning. So…” He shooed her away. “If you don’t mind, whatever this is, I’m sure it can wait. I’ve got a car coming to pick me up and take me to the airport, and I don’t have time to deal with this.”

He looked at her in exasperation, but then his face softened. It was false. It was such a contrived bullshit look, and as she gaped at him, he approached, cupping her cheeks sweetly. He kissed her forehead. “I’ll be back in a few days. We’ll do something fun then. I know you’ve been cooped up. But I’ll make it up to you.” He smiled. “Now, scoot, and let me finish packing.” He pecked her one more time.

“Ian,” she pleaded, but his phone was ringing, and he snatched it up, holding his finger out to her.

“Hi. Yeah, almost ready to go. No, no, I know. We will definitely be going back to that restaurant while we’re there.” He laughed, and that’s when she gave up on perpetuating the conversation.

She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to bop him on top of the head with her crutch and make him talk to her. She also just wanted to run away. She wanted to march her ass right out his front door and high tail it the hell out of there. But instead, she slowly made her way back out to the patio, shoving the door open with her crutch and leaving it standing wide open behind her. She paced as well as she could on crutches for nearly five minutes, but then when her armpits started hurting, she flopped down in one of the lounge chairs.

She grumbled and growled as she sat there, her fists in tight balls, and then she heard his voice again, still yacking away on the phone. The front door opened and closed moments later, and she thought perhaps he’d left, but then it was another voice she heard.

“Why is your suitcase out? Where the hell are you going?” Jas asked in a less than friendly voice.

“Uh… I have to go out of town for work. You can hang with Gray, right?”

“What happened to taking care of her? Giving her your undivided attention?” His voice sounded incredulous.

Gray stood from the lounger, making her way to the door. The pool side of the house was nothing but tall window after tall window, interrupted only by the large set of French doors that she’d left open. The sheer curtains that hung there were billowing out in the light wind, and she crept up to them, peering around the fabric. Jas and Ian were facing one another by the foyer, and they didn’t have a clue she was even there.

“You spend time with her. Give her your attention. You seem to like being attentive to her.” Ian smirked, placing his hands on his hips.

“Well, somebody has to be!”

Gray’s mouth fell open, and then she gritted her teeth.

Ian shrugged. “Go crazy. You have my full permission to break the rules. Get hopped up on Vicodin with her. Fuck each other’s brains out. Stick it wherever the hell you want. You have my blessing! Just deal with her.”

“She is not my responsibility!” Jas roared in fury.

And then she gasped. She didn’t mean too, but the tightness in her chest let loose, and the sound escaped as both of the men’s eyes flashed to the open door. But she was focusing on Jasper’s eyes. He clasped his forehead with his hands, and his face scrunched up in pain.

She could feel the tears pricking at the backs of her eyes, and her body was trembling. She sniffed her nose and turned around.

“Gray,” Jasper’s voice called after her, and then as the front door slammed, he roared again. “Fuck!”

He found her moments later as he ran out to the patio, but she was already on the phone with information.

“City and state, please,” the operator said.

“Austin, Texas.”

“Gray, what are you doing?”

“Get away from me,” she muttered as she covered her phone.

“What listing?”

“Uh… a cab company. I don’t know what—”

He snatched the phone from her hand, ending her call, and when she looked at him, she sneered.

“Give me my phone.”

“No. I need to talk to you.”

“Fuck you!” she snapped. “Give me my fucking phone now.”

“You have to listen to me.” He looked as furious as she felt, but when she blinked, a tear ran down her cheek, and he groaned. “Please,” he pleaded.

“I’m not your problem, and I don’t owe you my attention. I just want to go home. I can’t do this anymore.” And then she fell apart. She cried, brushing furiously at the tears and trying to rein her emotions in.

His hand touched her arm, and she yanked it away, sneering at him even as her tears fell.

He sighed, staring at the ground. “I’ll take you home.” His voice was quiet, and he sounded defeated as he turned and walked back to the house.

She followed him in. He snatched his keys from the entryway table, and he grabbed her purse that was under the table. He held the door open for her, locking it behind him, and as he followed her to his car, he was as silent as she.

She watched the streets tick off as they drove, and she stared out the passenger window. When she actually let her eyes focus on what she was seeing a while later, it was as they were jumping onto an interstate. They shouldn’t be on an interstate.

“Where are we? I said I wanted to go home.”

He glanced at her. “We are going home.”

“To whose home?” She sounded shrill.

He exhaled deeply. “Mine.”

She gaped at him. “You’re kidnapping me?”

He scoffed as he looked at her. “If you want to see it that way.”

“Pull over and let me out,” she demanded a bit childishly.

“Yeah, Gray. That’s going to happen. This is I-35. You’re not getting out. You’re going to sit there like a good little girl until we stop. Then you’re going to listen to what I have to say. Then you’re going to forgive me.”

She glanced at him, her lips pinched together in frustration. “I wouldn’t count on it,” she muttered.

“Boy, you’re pleasant when you’re angry.” He looked at her one last time, sighing as he returned his attention to the road.

She glared at nothing at all for forty minutes straight, and when they exited the interstate to winding country roads, she glared at the passing countryside for another fifteen minutes. She got lost in all the turns, and then they pulled onto a gravel drive through a set of gates. The gates were simple and rustic and said nothing of what was beyond, and it wasn’t until many more long minutes that she found out what lay farther down the winding road.

A sprawling country ranch grew larger and larger in front of them. There were trees surrounding them on this property, and the home itself was beautiful and simple. The stonework was rustic, the details on everything from the weathervane on the roof, to the iron on the garage doors, to even the porch swing on the front porch, was impeccable.

She glanced over at him, and he looked quickly at her too. He looked suspicious, as though he expected her to have another outburst at any moment. She wasn’t sure she could guarantee she wouldn’t. When he stopped the car, he rounded to her side and helped her stand.

“You live here?” She looked up at him.

“When I have time to.” He studied her for a moment, and then he turned and walked away from her toward the porch, leaving her in the dust and letting her follow at her own choosing.

She entered many seconds after him into the foyer with its tall ceilings. It had a southwestern feel without the requisite southwestern artifacts. The floor was a burnt umber natural tile, the walls a warm yellowish tan color with a stucco finish. His décor was simple and eclectic, with a large landscape mural over the fireplace in the living room. As she passed farther, she entered a great room. The kitchen was off to her right toward the interior of the house. An open dining room sat between the kitchen and the large family room. The ceilings were tall and vaulted with exposed beams, and the large family room sat on the end of the house. The three exterior walls of the family room were glass, and the one on the back of the house looked out at a sunken pool and a number of trees surrounding the patio area.

Beyond the kitchen was a long hallway that led back to what she assumed were bedrooms, and as her attention returned to this room it was to see him opening windows and doors to let some air in. He was flipping on a few lights as he went, illuminating the home from the dusk that was settling in around them.

He stopped as he neared her, and he looked at her. She held her focus on him, and then he took a deep breath. “Please come sit down.”

She followed him to the family room, and she sat in a side chair as he sank to the sofa caddy corner from her.

“Out of curiosity, how long do you intend to keep me here against my will?” She pursed her lips.

His lips pulled up slightly. “Such attitude,” he commented sarcastically. “We’ll stay as long as you want to stay.”

“So, you’ll take me home now then?”

His jaw tightened. “You’re going to listen to me first.”

She took a deep breath. She was acting hostile. In truth, she was exceptionally hurt, but she was also exceptionally angry, and it was amazing how that combination could leave her cold and distant from a man she never felt cold and distant from.

“I’m sorry.” His eyes were sincere, though she’d never expect an apology from him to be anything but sincere.

But those two words were all it took in her current state to break through the anger and leave the hurt. Her eyes teared, and she shook her head against the impending emotion. She’d been more emotional over the past week than she’d been in years. She wasn’t opposed to the stuff by any means, but she was used to her emotional meltdowns coming only on rare occasions. She brushed a tear from her cheek, and when she caught the devastated look on his face, she looked down to her lap.

“Please look at me.” It was that gentle tone she’d gotten kind of used to recently.

She pulled her head up, sniffing her nose.

“I’m so sorry. Stay until tomorrow at least. Just … don’t run away from me yet.” He looked nervous as he watched her.

She nodded tensely, but her eyes dropped from his to her lap again. “I just really want to be alone. Can I please go to bed?”

He looked away, shaking his head in frustration, and then he stood, walking toward the back door. “Take any bedroom you like.” And then he walked out, leaving her staring at his coffee table.

Chapter Nineteen

Jasper didn’t come inside until it was well after dark. He’d turned the patio lights on, uncovered the pool, and then spent thirty minutes cleaning out the leaves that had fallen and blown in since he’d been there last. He rescued a couple frogs as well, and then he re-covered the pool. What he was really trying to do was keep himself from worrying about what he’d done to Gray.

His argument with Ian hadn’t been meant for her ears, and every time he rewound that conversation and replayed it in his mind, he cringed. Logic said she must understand it was his fury at Ian that had driven his words, but there was no escaping the damage his words had done. Were he to hear her exclaim something so heartless and cold would he feel any better? Nope.

When he finally came inside, he wandered back to the bedrooms. He had four, one of which was a large master that opened onto the patio surrounding the pool. He wanted to find her there. But he knew damn well he wouldn’t, and as he suspected, his bedroom was dark. He opened the doors out to the patio, leaving the screen closed, and then he hopped in the master shower.

He slipped on a pair of underwear and nothing else when he went in search of her. He found her in the first spare room she’d have reached. He left the hall light on as he entered, and he stood there watching her. She’d worn a sundress that day—white with eyelets, very innocent and sweet, and she was still wearing it now.

She was lying on the front of her left hip, with her bad leg stretched out in front of her, and the skirt of the sundress had ridden up to just under her bottom. When he crawled in behind her, he slid his hand up under the skirt, pushing it up her back. She moaned, and he closed his body in behind hers, leaning to her ear.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

She whimpered, but she was waking up, and he pressed his groin against her bottom as he reached around her waist, pulling her body back into his.

“Jas,” she breathed out.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

He pushed her dress up higher on her back, forcing it over her head as she whimpered again sleepily. But she let it pass over her head, and he wriggled her loose from it.

“Forgive me,” he whispered.

She reached back, gripping the back of his neck and pulling him toward her. He lowered his head to her shoulder, breathing against her skin. He knew he could kiss her. He could kiss her, fuck her, do any damn thing he wanted to her, and she wouldn’t stop him—not late at night in a dimly lit bedroom when they both needed it so desperately and Ian had given them permission.

But, that was a decision that was going to be made between the two of them outside of a bedroom. He wasn’t going to give either one of them the chance to renege later and claim that it “just happened.” If they were going to do this, it was going to be the most intentional fuck of the century. That meant withstanding the taunt of her round little bottom pushing against his groin, and the heady whimpers as she wriggled against him.

Her body moved against his, her quiet moans the most arousing sound he’d ever heard. He was pushing himself equally hard against her backside, and when he lost it a little as she said “please” softly, he thoughtlessly and roughly pulled the back of her underwear down, exposing those cheeks he was so fond of. She cried out, and as his need surged again, he pulled down the front of his underwear, pushing his hard cock against the cleft of her butt cheeks.

She whimpered out the “please” again, and he nearly succumbed to it. He was humping against her bottom, his arousal sliding between her cheeks, and she was trembling.

“Not yet,” he whispered.

She reached back, and her palm trembled against the front of his thigh, but she didn’t push it. She didn’t reach for him or try to push him further, and their bodies just moved and rubbed against one another until he’d managed to quiet and resist the need for the time being. He fell asleep with his underwear still pushed down and his groin against her naked bottom.

* * * *

“Good morning.” Gray looked at Jasper shyly as she crutched her way out to the patio in her sundress. He was walking around the pool barefoot in a pair of jeans and shirtless, trying to catch more leaves with the net.

“Damn near lunch time,” he remarked.

She shook her head. “I think maybe I should stop taking Vicodin at bedtime.”

“I thought you stopped taking it.” He eyed her curiously. He was quite certain she’d stopped taking it.

She sat in the lounge chair nearby. “I took one last night.”

He stared at her without lifting his head from its downward angle to the pool. “Running away from me into a bottle of Vicodin.”

She said nothing for a moment. “And yet, I clearly recall the most interesting dream about…” She chuckled softly.

“Me humping your ass?” He finally stopped scooping, looking at her full on.

“Something like that.”

He laughed, returning to his leaves. “My coffee is there on the side table next to you if you want some, and I’ll run in and get you your own in a minute.”

She sat on a lounge chair and watched him for a moment. She didn’t seem upset with him, but she seemed … nervous, unsure. He finally joined her, sitting at the foot of the lounger.

“Are you able to get your ankle wet?”

She nodded. “There’s only three very small incisions, and the sutures are nearly dissolved at this point.”

“Good. I want you to take a swim with me then.”

She stared at him for a moment, and then her eyes shifted down to her dress.

“You should be better prepared the next time you kidnap someone. I’m wearing the only clothes I have.”

“Clothes are a highly overrated accessory,” he said sarcastically.

She laughed, and then she bobbled her head. “They’re considered more of a necessity than an accessory… Yeah.” She shrugged. “I don’t make the rules. I just live by those conventional mores of society—you know. Like clothes.”

He was laughing then, relieved as hell to see her sense of humor returning. She was doing okay. That was good. He needed her to be doing okay, because he didn’t have a clue how to deal with any of this if she wasn’t.

“Then we’ll swim in our skivvies. Underwear and bra are as good as a bikini.”

“Too bad I don’t wear bras.” She shrugged. “You’re striking out here.”

He scooted up to sit beside her then, smiling down at her. He let his fingers wander up under the skirt of her sundress slowly, pushing the skirt up. “If it makes you feel better, I won’t wear a bra either.” He winked, and she smiled. “Now lift that ass of yours, so I can get this sundress off you.”

She planted her hands on the seat, pushing her body off the surface just enough that he could get the skirt of the dress up past her bottom and waist, and then he stripped it over her head, leaving her in nothing but her simple white cotton underwear. Her nipples were taut already, and he focused on them for a moment as she watched him nervously.

He started un-bandaging her lower right leg, and when he glanced to her eyes, they were wide and she was gnawing on the inside of her lip. She was terrified. He stood, looking down on her as he undid his jeans and pulled them off, leaving himself in his black boxer-briefs. He sat down again and looked at her. “When can you put weight on it?” He was really just trying to give her something other than their near nudity to focus on.

“I have an appointment tomorrow, and they’re going to fit me for a splint that will flatten out my foot. Then I have to wear that for a few days, and then they’ll put me in a boot to start physical therapy.” Her eyebrows cocked up as she looked up at him.

He nodded. “Can I take you to your appointment tomorrow?”

“Seeing as you are my ride back to the city.” Her voice was a little too quiet to sell the sarcasm, and her eyes trailed down his body nervously.

He smirked.

She nodded. “Yeah. I’d like that,” She said before she bit her lower lip.

When he scooped her up in his arms, she squealed in surprise, and then he walked with her to the stairs that led down into the shallow end of his pool. The water was cool but comfortable, and as he sank into it, she sighed. He moved her body, so she was straddling his hips, and then came the torture again.

Having her sex that close to his was more than tormenting. Her nipples brushing his chest at the same time? That was just agony. He was hard against her groin, and as she took a deep breath and watched him, he used the hand he had at her lower back to hold that place closer to him. He looked down, watching her nipples toy with his skin. He reached for the front of her throat with his free hand, resting his thumb on one side of her graceful slim neck and his four fingers on the other side, and then he pushed her back.

Her fingers that gripped his upper arms tensed and held on for a moment, but as he pushed gently, she released her hold, and she arched her back. She was so flexible, and as she leaned back, her small hard nipples jutted up. She let her hair hang in the water, and she let her back arch farther and farther until her head was submerged to her hairline. She sighed, letting her arms float out beside her and relaxing her back into the water.

His hand was still on her neck, and he slowly let it glide down her sternum to that spot where her ribs pulled up in a peak. He stayed clear of her breasts, watching as the skin on those small round mounds popped with goose bumps, and she moaned a breathy contented sound. He worked his hand gently lower, feeling her tight stomach muscles ripple under his palm, and he stopped when he was at her lower belly.

The skin was soft there, the flesh underneath supple. However tight her stomach muscles were, this place wasn’t meant to be so tight. It was meant to grow. He could almost imagine her belly swelling, and as his hand massaged that skin over her womb, he became even more aroused. These weren’t his thoughts. He didn’t have these thoughts. But fucking hell, they were intoxicating.

When he pushed lower, her body trembled. He let his fingers flirt with the top of her underwear, gently brushing underneath. Her underwear were white, and he could see her pubic hair through the thin wet fabric, and when he glanced to her face, she was watching him, panting as she still relaxed back into the water.

He reached for her hands, pulling her up slowly as he sank lower into the water. He brought her up face to face with him, and she looked at his lips, pulling her lower one into her mouth.

“Do you forgive me?” he asked.

She looked up to his eyes. “Yes.”

He reached for her cheek, clutching it and wanting to pull her mouth to his. “I was upset with him. It was no reflection on you. But I know it hurt.”

She nodded.

He nuzzled against her neck, wrapping his arms tightly around her as she did the same. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

He held her for a long time, and it was silent aside from the occasional sound of water splashing as they moved. She wasn’t supposed to care what he thought or said. He wasn’t supposed to need her forgiveness. None of this was supposed to matter. And as he held her silently, he was certain that fact was as glaringly obvious to her as it was to him. None of this was supposed to be happening.

When they finally got out, he grabbed her splint and wrap from the lounger and then carried her inside to his master bath. He set her on the side of the large soaker tub, and he handed her a towel. He pulled his own wet underwear off, tossing them in the bathtub, and then he patted his body dry and finally wrapped the towel around his waist.

She watched him like a hawk the entire time, and he chuckled as he caught her staring. “Stay there.”

“You’ve kind of left me little choice,” she commented sarcastically.

He laughed. “Well, I’m worried we’re going to get in another fight, and you’re going to try to run away from me.” He thought about that for a minute. “But I can’t say it wouldn’t be amusing to see you scooting that cute ass of yours across the floor in an attempt to flee.” He shrugged.

She shook her head. “I hate being incapacitated and helpless,” she complained, but she had a small smile on her face.

He left her to finish drying off and get her leg re-wrapped, and he collected her crutches from the patio before he returned to his bedroom. Then he riffled through his drawers for something, anything, that would fit this tiny little specimen of a person. He grabbed a couple things, and when he found her in the bathroom, her wet underwear were in the bathtub with his, her leg was re-wrapped, she was dry—aside from her messy mop of hair, and she was wrapped up in the towel.

He propped her crutches up against the bathtub, and he handed her the clothes. She held them up, her eyes bulging for a moment. And he walked away.

“Jas, what am I supposed to do with these?” she hollered after him, but he was already in the hallway, and he had no intention of answering anyway.

He smiled as he walked toward the kitchen, and he was chuckling as he pulled a pan out, heating it up on the stove. He was hungry. He was so ravenously starving for more things than breakfast, that he wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t take a bite out of her.

Chapter Twenty

Gray stood in front of the full-length mirror in Jasper’s bathroom, gaping at herself. He’d left her with a gray pair of boxer-briefs and a thin white sleeveless undershirt—nothing more than a tank top really. And now, she was standing with one hand on the bathroom counter, staring at herself.

She’d rolled the waist of the underwear down multiple times, which had kept them up but also made them exceptionally short. And there was no hiding her tits under the undershirt. She was swimming in it, and she knotted it at her waist, hoping that pulling forward more material to gather in front would help hide her nipples.

She looked like a tramp. In truth, she looked no worse than some of her practice clothes or even costumes, but she’d much rather look pretty than bare. She shook her head and grabbed her crutches, and when she made it out to the kitchen, she could smell something cooking.

She rounded the corner, and he was just scooping eggs onto two plates that already had toast on them. He stopped with the pan still held over one plate, and then he stared. He blew out an exaggerated breath after a moment. “Breakfast for lunch since you slept through the A.M. part of the day.”

She nodded. “Sorry ’bout that.”

He went back to eyeing her. “I knew my underwear would look fucking incredible on you. It’s settled. I’m hiding the sundress, so you’re forced to wear my underwear.

She smirked, and he finished with the eggs. She followed him to the dining room, and they ate in silence. It was a comfortable silence, and she settled back in her chair, munching on toast as he sipped his coffee.

She cleaned up as much as she could—which ultimately consisted of sitting on the counter next to the sink as he rinsed dishes and put them in the dishwasher, and when he looked up and had a long strand of his dark hair stuck in his eyelashes, he leaned over to her. She swept it away, and he paused close to her face for a moment. He sighed, and then he finished with the dishes.

As he dried his hands off, he stepped between her legs, and when he dropped the rag to the counter beside her, his eyes met hers. He leaned forward, moaning as his lips nearly touched hers, and then he leaned down to her neck, still just letting his lips occasionally graze her skin but never fully touching, certainly never kissing. He breathed against her neck, slowly pulling his mouth from her clavicle up to her ear.

“I want something,” he murmured.

“What?” she was nearly whispering.

He pulled back, watching her eyes for a moment. “I want to dance with you.”

She laughed softly. “I think my dancing days might be ov—”

“Not that kind of dancing.”

She stared at him, trying to breathe, trying to swallow, trying to restart her heart. She started panting, her lips parted like a buffoon as he calmly focused on her.

And when he spoke again, his voice was warm and seductive. “And the kind of dancing I want to do won’t involve your foot.” He studied her some more. “It will, however, involve touching…” He paused to watch her. “Kissing…” Another pause. “Licking…” Every word was followed by his intense eyes drilling into her. “Tasting… Sucking… Penetrating… Coming…”

She exhaled in a rush, and a whimper was carried with it. She nodded.

“Say yes.”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

“Say you understand exactly what we’re doing. No rules, Gray. That means I’m going to fuck you however the hell I want and tell your boyfriend to eat shit while I’m stretching that sweet pussy of yours.”

She nodded as a shaky exhalation rattled from her chest.

“Please fucking say it, sweetie. I need you to say it.”

“I understand.” The word got stuck in her throat, and she had to force it out.

He bit his lower lip. “Have you ever fucked without a condom?”

“No.”

He nodded slowly. “I haven’t either. I’ve never felt real wetness enveloping my cock.” He leaned to her ear again. “But I’ve seen your wetness all over my dick, and I can’t imagine my first time with you feeling anything except all of you against me. Your skin, your cum, every ounce of your wetness, every inch of your depth.”

She nodded again, still trying to remember how to breathe.

He chuckled. “I want to fuck you bareback, Gray.”

She whimpered, and then she nodded some more.

“And you know I want to hear you say it.”

“Yes.” Her voice actually squeaked as she spoke.

“You can do better than that. Say it nice and dirty like me.” He was still speaking against her ear.

“I want…” She swallowed as she fought to stay conscious. “I want you to fuck me … bareback.”

He leaned back again, studying her eyes once more. “I’m going to come inside you. And I’m going to finger your pussy and watch you lick it clean when you’re done, so you know my taste.”

Her body started trembling. The tremor ran from her head to her toes, and as it swept through her, the back of her splint rattled against the cupboard. She was clutching the edge of the counter, her fingers digging into it, and she was nearly ready to come apart.

“I want you to…” Her voice broke off in a lurching shudder. “Oh, God…”

“Don’t worry. You don’t have to say that.” He chuckled, smiling warmly at her.

And then she snapped and lunged—straight for his mouth. Before she fully knew what she was doing, her lips were on his. He let out a groan so deep and guttural she could feel the vibration of it moving from his mouth into her body. She was mewling as she latched onto his lower lip, and she pulled at it. His tongue thrust into her mouth, and his moans became muffled as his tongue swept against hers, licking it and curling around it.

“Oh, God, you taste good,” he murmured between kisses, and then his hands were on the sides of her head, holding her as he lapped at her mouth and sucked on her lips.

She reached to the waistband of his underwear and pushed them down. His cock thrust up just as his hands left her face, and he scooped her up from the counter, walking out of the kitchen as she kissed him again. She could feel the hard definition of his erection tight against her body, and the moment she broke from his lips, she leaned to his ear, begging. “Please.”

He hummed, and he bit into the side of her neck as he walked to his bed. He settled her body under his, coming down on top of her and pushing his groin against hers. She cried out, gripping into his shoulders. He was watching her, and when he shifted his body to her side, his hand moved to her crotch, squeezing her through her underwear.

“Oh, fuck,” he muttered. “You feel so hot.”

He pushed his hand roughly past the waist of her underwear, but then as his palm ran over her pubic mound, his hand slowed and he exhaled. She was soaking wet, and he was going to discover very soon just how wet her most intense heat could be. His mouth dropped open as his finger finally brushed between her lips, and he watched her closely, his eyelids fluttering as he touched her for the first time.

He grazed over her clit, sending a tremor through her entire body and making her thighs tremble, and then he gently pressed two fingers against her entry but didn’t delve. “Look at me.” His voice was demanding, and she focused on his eyes as his fingers pressed gently into her body. His breath left him as his eyelids fluttered again, and then he sank deep into her as her wetness suctioned sloppily against his fingers.

“Get your fucking underwear off,” he muttered. He pulled then, and he plunged in just as deep as her hips wriggled, and she pushed her underwear down her legs. She used her foot, trying desperately to get her underwear past her splint, but it was hopeless, and she splayed her legs wide, letting her underwear hold her ankles close together. His fingers fucked, and the thrusts sped as he watched her face, and her hips wriggled and writhed against his hand. His thumb circled and toyed with her clit. She needed to come, and she mewled quietly as her eyes started to shift around in desperation. His touch was insistent and intense, and as his fingers continued to plunge and scissor, her hands gripped and twisted the bedding.

“Come on my fingers. You’re so fucking wet,” he muttered. “I know you need to.”

He pushed a third finger in with the other two, and she cried out as he stretched her open. His deep low hum sent her over the edge, and as he thrust harshly into her, over filling her body with his fingers as he pushed against her clit, she hit that limit and fell hard. Her entire body shook and spasmed as she passed over her release, and he breathed against her lips as he watched her recover.

When he pulled his fingers from her, she hissed, and he kissed her as he reached down and pulled her underwear the rest of the way off her legs. He pushed between her legs, and he let his cock press against her slit, humping gently against her as she shivered. She was so far beyond ready for this.

He smiled gently. “I’m guessing this is going to hurt a little.”

She had no doubt about that.

He kissed her again, humming against her lips as he pushed his tongue into her mouth, and when he parted from her lips, he took a deep breath. “You think things are complicated now?” He asked gently, studying her so intently. “It’s going to get a whole lot worse after this.”

She nodded. “I know.”

“No rules,” he whispered. “Now just relax.” And then he pushed—straight to her core in one invasive long, painful penetration.

Chapter Twenty-One

Jasper had no idea why it was he could never seem to look away from Gray’s eyes when he was with her. They were beautiful eyes, but that wasn’t it. There was just more there than that. But, at the moment, what he saw looking back at him was pain. Her warmth felt just as incredible and tight as he’d imagined it could, but when his balls smacked her bottom, he stilled, watching her.

Her eyes closed as she winced, and her lips trembled as her teeth chattered, and she cried out.

“Open those eyes. Look at me,” he demanded.

She nodded as she opened her eyes. “Oh, God,” she gasped out, her fingers gripping his upper arms and digging into him.

He shushed her with his lips to her ear, and her sheath flinched around him.

He was the one crying out then, and as he did, he grit his teeth. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” He was panting on top of her, waiting for her to relax, but every time he moved even marginally, her muscles flinched around him. He leaned to her face, letting his lips touch her forehead.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured as his lips trailed over her skin.

He pulled back enough to see her, and then he leaned to her again. He kissed her forehead, then he kissed her temple. He moved over her face, gently kissing as he moved. Her skin was warm, and by the time he’d made it down to her mouth, her lips were trembling again, but her body was releasing its grip on him. “There you go. Just relax around me.”

He brushed his thumb over her lower lip, tugging it down gently as he watched, and then he leaned to her mouth, and he kissed her gently. It wasn’t until he’d given her body plenty of time to figure this out that he moved. He eased out, and her face muscles flinched, but when he pushed back in, she moaned, and her eyelids fluttered. It was a good sign, and with every slow, steady penetration, her moans became more unrestrained and aroused.

He wedged his knees under her thighs, lifting her bad leg and resting the back of her calf to his shoulder. He was upright as he pushed her other thigh back. He could see the very spot where their bodies joined, and the distention of her tight sex around his erection sent a shiver through his body. He pulled out slowly, watching every inch of himself withdraw, and then he clenched his butt cheeks, using his muscles to pierce her body with his cock.

The sight of her body taking him in was the most arousing thing he’d ever seen, and he rocked forward and backward as she watched. She needed no encouragement to touch, and she reached down to his groin, letting her finger tips brush from his low abdomen down to his cock, and as he pulled out, her fingers trailed over his length, finally finding their way to her clit.

She rubbed that tight little nub, and her hips instantly moved, rising up to meet his penetration every time he sank into her. Her fingers were glossy wet with her cum, and as they moved faster, so too did his hips. She kept her eyes open and on him, and she panted quietly, humming and groaning occasionally as he plunged deep into her.

She could entice him like no other, and the sight of her toying with herself as he fucked her was enough to do him in, but he stifled it, watching and waiting for her to hit her limit. It came quickly, and as her orgasm hit, her thighs tried to clench together and her bottom lifted from the bed. Her body was tight as she grunted through her release, and when it passed, he forced her thighs out wide again, letting her bad leg down slowly to wrap around his hips as he lowered his body to hers.

She reached for his face, cupping his cheek and leaning up to let her lips nearly touch his. He growled, and he thrust hard. She cried out, and when her mouth fell open, he lunged at her lips. He moaned and murmured with his lips on hers, and he yanked her hand from his face, reaching for her other one too and pinning them both above her head.

He pulled his chest up, bracing his weight against her hands as he held them to the bed, and as he looked down at her, he started rolling his hips, grinding himself between her legs. His mouth was contorted and snarling as he started snapping himself into her, hearing the smack as his skin connected to hers. She was jolted forward with every swift penetration. He was pistoning over and over, rapidly filling and then leaving her body, and her mouth was open, her eyes wide as she watched him fall apart.

He tightened his buttocks hard with one final thrust, and he went rigid as he came deep inside her. His arms buckled as his body released the tension, and he let himself crumble around her, collapsing on top of her and breathing fast panting breaths against her neck. He released one of her hands, and she reached down, letting her fingers run through his hair as he fought to catch his breath.

He didn’t pull his cock from her body until he’d rolled them to their sides, her injured leg resting on his hip, and when he eased back, her eyes widened. He lowered his head to her breast, sucking her nipple into his mouth. He’d not gotten his mouth or hands on her tits yet, and as her head dropped back, he pulled with his mouth.

When he was done sucking, he squeezed with his hand, gripping the soft flesh of her breast. They might be small, but her nipples were rock hard, and he brushed his thumb over that peak, listening as her breath caught.

“Are you sore?” he murmured against her skin.

He released his hold, letting his palm run down to her belly and rotating it so his fingers were pointing down.

“Yes,” she said quietly.

He looked at her, and he saw a sudden shyness to her. He felt shy too. He studied her for a moment, lost in the notion of just how much they’d altered their dynamic in the space of an hour. They weren’t supposed to do this, and it felt wrong. It also felt incredible. It felt forbidden, as though they’d pushed past all the permission Ian had given them and gone into a place they weren’t supposed to go and that, frankly, Ian knew nothing about. Of course that wasn’t true. Ian had given him permission to go wherever the hell he wanted, but it still felt like they’d overstepped the bounds—it just wasn’t a physical bound, and that meant Ian couldn’t possibly understand what they’d just done.

She pulled her lower lip into her mouth, and he took a deep breath as he moved his hand lower.

“I need you to take a little more,” he whispered.

She nodded, but it was jerky, and she was having a hard time looking at him. But, as his fingers descended lower, she didn’t stop him. He slipped his middle finger between her lips. She felt silky and swollen, and he pressed just one finger into her pussy as she gasped. He thrust gently through the warm wetness. She couldn’t possibly understand what an intense thing it was for him to feel his cum inside her body.

He pulled his finger from her, lifting it to her mouth, and she blushed furiously, but opened her lips. He let his finger glide over and around her tongue. Her lips closed around his finger, sucking gently, and he moaned as her tongue stroked.

He pulled her into his arms after he slipped his finger from her mouth. He kissed down the side of her face to her neck, nipping her gently with his teeth. “Are you okay with what we did?” That was not a question even he could ask, were his eyes locked on hers, and he hid from her with his lips against her neck.

She nodded. “Yes. Are you?”

He tried to smile with his lips to her neck, but that damn shyness was consuming him. It was an arousing intimate feeling, and he was having a hard time wrapping his brain around it. “Yeah.”

He spent the next thirty minutes kissing her. It was silent aside from the quiet and sweet smacking sound of their lips, and the occasional rustling of bedding as he shifted. He brushed her hair away from her forehead, letting his fingers comb it back as his mouth moved against hers. He caught her blush every time he separated from her lips, and her furtively moving eyes were an unexpected turn on.

When he finally let her breathe through her mouth again, she sat up, pulling the sheets up to cover her breasts. “May I take a bath?”

“Of course. I’ll join you if you don’t mind.”

“You realize you’ve left me without my crutches once again?” she said quietly.

He smiled, nodded, and looked down at his lap as he sat up. “Completely intentional.”

They were both trying to be sarcastic, but it was just too quiet, and neither of them seemed able to pull it off effectively. It was the most perfect morning after shyness right smack dab in the middle of the afternoon. For a man who never had a morning after, he was enjoying it thoroughly, but it was also an incredibly vulnerable feeling. He felt like a kid again, wanting to flirt but being too afraid to open his mouth. When he finally stood, he shook his head. He leaned down, lifting her in his arms, and he kissed her again.

He sat on the side of the bathtub with her in his lap as he turned the faucet on, and he helped her unwrap her leg before he settled her into the warm water. But, just as he moved to join her, his phone rang. It was his cell phone in the kitchen, and he shook his head as he chuckled. “I’ll be right back.”

He snatched the phone up just in time. “Hello.”

“Oh… Well, there you are,” came G’s voice.

He smiled. “Good Monday afternoon to you,” he said.

She laughed quietly. “Yes. It is a good day indeed, isn’t it?”

“It is,” he agreed. It was most definitely a good day. “So, this is a surprise. A Monday phone call? And what’s this number you’re calling from? You have a boyfriend I don’t know about?” he joked with her.

She laughed again, her tone calm and serene. “No, no boyfriend for this old woman.”

“Well, what’s the occasion then?” He leaned against the kitchen counter, listening as Gray turned the faucet off in the distance.

“Oh, can’t a grandmother want to hear her grandson’s voice?” she said smartly.

“Of course.”

“How did yesterday go?” she pried.

He hummed. “Well, I’m spending time with the gal today if that’s any indication, but … it was a struggle to get to this point, and I can’t ultimately say what point we’re at.” He sighed. “But she’s here.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear that. You never did tell me this girl’s name.”

“Gracelynn. She goes by Gray.”

“Tell me about her.”

He walked to the sink, staring out the window for a moment. “She’s a dancer. Ballet. She’s incredibly talented, and she’s beautiful. She has long auburn hair, green eyes, and pale skin. She’s nothing like me.”

“Couples shouldn’t be alike, in my opinion.”

“We’re not a couple. I’m just inappropriately infatuated with her.”

She laughed. “Call it what you will. As I was saying, take your grandfather and me, for instance. He was a dyed in the wool introvert, and me, well … I’m not. Never have been. But his quietness worked with my mouth, his calmness with my nerves, his self-control with my … flighty moods. I wish you could have known him. He was very much like you.”

“Was he?”

“Yes. Tall like you and your father but austere in nature like you. Which is nothing at all like your father as you well know.”

“Oh, I don’t know. My dad could be pretty severe.”

She sighed. “Yes. But I mean austere in your grandfather’s sense of modesty and fairness. He was a good man, your grandfather. You should know that. You are too.”

He smiled. The woman had never seen anything but his goodness.

“Tell me more about her. I need to know about her.”

He laughed. “Umm… she’s innocent in many ways, but not so much in others. She’s driven and disciplined, and yet, she has passion that carries her away.” He was staring out the window again, watching a leaf float down from a tree and into the pool. It sat on the surface, being gently blown across the water as the water rippled around it. “She’s pretty sure her career is over.” His face fell as he said it.

“Oh, dear. Why is that?”

He took a deep breath. “She ruptured her Achilles tendon during a workout, and she had to have surgery a week ago. She’s recovering, but it’s going to be a long process, and she’s not the youngest dancer in her company. I think she’s afraid she’ll get left in the wings as other dancers surpass her. I hate to say it, but she may well be right.”

“You seem to know her very well.”

“It’s odd. I feel like I do, but … I’m not sure I’ve known her long enough to have any right to say that.”

She hummed. “Don’t be fooled by time. There are just those people who are easy to know. And there are just those people you’re intended to know. If she is both of those, then it’s no wonder you would feel so close to her.”

He smiled, nodding his head silently. “She is easy to know. She loves talking about things—important things, like … emotions, pasts, what drives us. She’s so … comfortable with herself and life.”

“Yes. Just as I suspected. Nothing like you.” She chuckled. “But she balances you perfectly, I bet.”

He caught himself nodding again, and he swallowed as his throat constricted. “I like myself when I’m with her, G.” His voice was a little too quiet when he said that.

“Oh … Jas.” She sounded sad for a moment. “She sounds lovely.” Her voice hitched.

“She is.”

“Do you love her?”

He shrugged, and he looked down into the sink. “Don’t be ridiculous.” He chuckled then. “I don’t know. Maybe. I certainly could fall in love with her if I knew anything at all about falling.”

“I won’t bother asking if she knows how you feel because I already know the answer to that.” She paused for a moment. “You need to tell her. She needs to know her importance to you. That’s one thing your grandfather never let me question, and I’m telling you right now, it’s the one thing a woman needs to know. She has to know how you feel.” Her words nearly sounded desperate.

He shook his head, the enormity of that charge a hard thing to swallow.

G took a deep slow breath, her exhalation shuddering. She sounded old and weak, and he hated the thought of it. She was pushing ninety soon, but all he could see when he closed his eyes and thought of her was his sweet little white haired grandma putzing around the kitchen doing the Charleston as she moved and cooked at the same time. That was the image that always stuck out in his mind of her, and he smiled as he closed his eyes and imagined it. Even as an unruly teenager, he’d had an odd appreciation for the woman that hadn’t been dwarfed by his bad attitude.

“You’re going to have an amazing life. Do you know that?” she said seriously.

He shook his head, swallowing his emotion as the images of her dancing in the kitchen still floated through his mind. “I know,” he said to appease her.

“Do you?”

He chuckled. “Sure.”

“Great things start from small beginnings—or so some philosopher said. I happen to believe that very much. Your trials define you. They always say that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But it’s a misunderstood concept I think. That which doesn’t kill us makes us weaker, but it is the overcoming weakness that shows our true strength. Weakness is a given. It’s just what we do with it that truly makes us shine.”

“Beautiful,” he said. He wasn’t being sarcastic.

“Oh, you know me. The great poet laureate, G.” She chuckled softly.

He strolled back toward the bedroom. “Maybe you’ll meet her someday.”

She hummed. “Perhaps. But even if I don’t … I trust your heart. She must be amazing.”

He entered the bedroom. “She is,” he said quietly.

“I better let you go, darling.”

He entered the bathroom, and Gray looked up from the bathtub and smiled shyly at him.

“I’ll talk to you soon, G.”

“You’ve made me so happy, Jasper. I love you.” Her voice broke as she spoke, and his throat tightened.

“I love you too.”

They hung up moments later, and Gray watched him as he took a deep breath and set his phone on the counter.

“My grandmother,” he commented as he climbed behind her as she sat up.

She cocked her head over her shoulder. She was smiling. “You call her G?”

“Yes I do.”

“I like it.”

He leaned down kissing the top of her shoulder, and then he wrapped his arms around her. She eventually turned toward him, resting with her knees on the bottom of the tub between his legs, her arms crossed on his chest with her chin rested there. She studied his tattoo, and her fingers traced the letter G over his left pec. He smirked at her as he ran his hands down her back. After she finished tracing the letter, she toyed with his nipple, plucking it with her fingers before she leaned up and bit down gently on it. He moaned at the sudden intense pressure.

When she pulled back, she cocked her head to the side. “G for your grandmother?”

He studied her silently for a moment, and then he nodded.

She leaned to his nipple again; this time gently laving and sucking, letting her tongue run around and over the hard nub, and he let his head fall back as he released a deep huff of air. Fuck, her mouth was exceptional. She tormented him for a while, and as her mouth worked over his chest, her hands gripped his sides. By the time she pulled her lips from his skin, he was fully aroused again.

“I’m sorry you’re sore.” He ran his hands through her hair.

“I’m fine.”

“Well, regardless, I’ll leave your pussy alone until tomorrow.”

She struggled to swallow for a moment.

“But I intend to use your body in other ways between now and then.”

“How,” she squeaked out.

He laughed, clasping her by the back of her neck and pulling her body easily up his until he could get his mouth on hers. He kissed, slipping his tongue into her mouth but pulling back quickly. “Well, I would absolutely love to see your lips wrapped around my cock, and don’t even get me started on how much I want to eat your pussy. Of course, I want to eat your ass to, and I want to fuck it again. I think we’ll stay plenty busy.” He winked at her. “But how about a nap first?”

She nodded quickly. “Yes.”

He might have just made her nervous with that laundry list of sex play.

They ended up in bed, their bodies twined together just as lewdly and closely as her body had been wrapped up with her dance partners. She fell asleep, and he watched her. How the hell was he supposed to lay his heart out there for her? He didn’t know the first thing about this. But his ignorance aside … he couldn’t lose this.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Gray woke to the subtle movement of the mattress beside her and quiet shuddering breaths. It was confusing. But as she looked over, she saw Jasper sitting on the edge of the bed, his shoulders rolled forward, and his body slumped. His back shook as he breathed, and then she heard his breath lurch and the slightest quietist moan escape him.

“Jas?” She sat up, scooting herself over to him and clutching at his shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head subtly and stood up quickly.

“Please talk to me,” she said.

He cocked his head to the side. “My grandmother just died. She… She was at the hospital when she called me earlier. She didn’t even tell me. She had a mild heart attack, and they were keeping her there to do some tests, but then…” He shook his head. “She just… She’s gone. Why wouldn’t she tell me?” He shook his head. And then he started pacing around.

“Jasper, I’m so sorry.”

His lips trembled and pulled up slightly, but when she tried to speak to him again, he shook his head.

“What can I do for you?”

“Nothing,” he muttered, pulling his cell phone from his pocket. “I have to get to San Diego as soon as possible.”

She nodded, and he dialed his phone.

“Hey, Seth. Can you find me the soonest flight to San Diego…? Yeah, today. Don’t book it yet. Just call me with the time.” He hung up without another word.

She watched him move around the bedroom then. He quickly pulled out clothes from his drawers, and he hung a suit on the back of the closet door. But after he riffled through a drawer again, he slammed it shut. “Fuck!” he snapped. “I don’t have anything I need here,” he muttered through gritted teeth.

She stared at him. She didn’t know how to deal with this. She was stuck on his bed, wanting to help but helpless to even stand up, and he was agitated. When his phone rang a couple minutes later, he snatched it up quickly.

“Yeah…” He glanced at his watch and took a deep breath. When his eyes glanced to her, he didn’t smile, he didn’t offer any kindness at all, and she just stared back, her heart pounding. “I can’t make that one… Because I’m in the country and I’m not even alone. I still have to drop someone off before I can get to the apartment and finish packing, and by the time I do all that, there’s no way I can catch an eight-fifteen. Goddamn it,” he muttered. He looked angry.

She stared at her lap, ready to crawl her ass out of his room.

“And there’s nothing later…?” He started throwing things into the suitcase and stalking around the room. “Fine. Get me the earliest flight out tomorrow morning. I’m on my way back to the city. I’ll be there soon, so I can finish packing.” He hung up again, and when he turned to her, she almost cringed. “We have to go.”

“Okay. Can I do anything to—?”

“No,” he replied quickly as he walked out of the room.

He returned moments later with her crutches and her sundress. She tossed the dress over her head, and she pushed herself up to stand. She didn’t bother sticking around in his bedroom. He was too intimidating like this. She couldn’t even say he was being rude or mean. He was hurried, he was brisk, he was just somewhere else, and she had this worry that if she said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing, he’d snap at her, and she didn’t want to give him the chance to prove her right.

“I’ll wait in the car,” she said as she left the room, and that’s exactly what she did.

It was getting dark, and as she sat there, she took a deep breath. He exited the house moments later, carrying the suitcase. Once he’d dropped it in the trunk, he climbed in next to her, and he didn’t say a word to her on the long drive back to Austin. She stared out the window as the sky got darker. It was silent—not even the radio was on.

She was ready to take a flying leap from his car by the time he pulled up in front of her building, but she forced herself to remain calm and look at him.

“I’m really sorry, Jasper.”

He nodded so subtly, and his jaw clenched tight as his fingers constricted on the steering wheel. He glanced to her, and his face was stone hard. But it wasn’t anger. He just seemed lost, in shock even.

“Me too,” he said softly. He leaned to her forehead, kissing her gently, and as he pulled back, she could have sworn his eyes were glossy, but he looked away quickly. He cleared his throat. “I can help you in.” He reached for the door handle.

“No. Please don’t. I can manage just fine.”

He nodded.

She didn’t look back as she made her way to the entrance door to her building, but she knew he stayed until the door closed behind her. Her eyes pricked with tears as she stood in the elevator, and she exhaled deeply as she opened her door to her dark loft. She grabbed her phone quickly.

“Hey!” Anna answered excitedly. “Glad you called. How was your weekend?” She sounded entirely too perky for Gray’s mood to handle.

“Uh… It was fine. How was yours?”

“Good. Mom and Dad asked me to tell you hi.” She was silent for a moment. “You all right?”

“I’m fine. I’m just… Well, it was an odd day.”

“Huh,” she remarked. “Odd as in you wouldn’t mind your best friend’s company if she came bearing a couple bottles of wine?”

“Odd as in you would be my most favorite person in the world if you did that.”

Anna laughed. “Be there in twenty, love.”

She left the door unlocked, and she sat at the dining room table waiting, staring at the wood grain and letting her mind get lost in the randomness of it. When Anna knocked, she didn’t wait for an invitation to enter. And as promised, she came bearing two bottles of wine. She set them on the table before she moved to the kitchen and found a couple wine glasses and the bottle opener.

When she sank into the chair across from Gray, she started on the bottle. “What’s up, buttercup?”

Gray laughed for a moment. “Okay, here’s the CliffsNotes version. Ian left for Dallas yesterday, dumping me on Jas. Jas pissed me off and then kidnapped me to his country home. I had sex with him earlier today, then his grandmother died, and he brought me home.” She held her hands palm up awkwardly in front of her. “Tada…”

“Oh,” Anna said thoughtfully. “His grandmother died?”

“Yes, and he’s so close to her. He’s absolutely devastated. And I just felt like I was saying all the wrong things, and…” She sipped on her wine, letting it warm her stomach, and then she took another drink.

Anna nodded. “So… Well, is this considered cheating?” Her face scrunched up in confusion.

“Hmm… Well, considering my boyfriend gave us full permission to do whatever the hell we wanted with one another, and in fact, did so in a rather crude manner, I’m going to say no. But…” She bobbled her head. “…what the hell do I know? I don’t even really like my boyfriend, and I’m pretty sure he’s flirting with a co-worker. Do I care? Nope.” She let the “p” pop off her lips. And then she took a big drink of wine.

“Because you like Jasper?” Anna called her out on it.

That question deserved another drink of wine, and after she took three just for posterity, she finally opened her mouth. Then she closed it again, took another drink and shook her head. She wasn’t disagreeing, she was just stalling. “I do like Jasper, but in truth there are a lot of reasons I like him.” She nodded her head. “I feel like … he’s my friend.”

“Well, we’re friends, and we don’t—” Anna started sarcastically.

“And besides, I’m frustrated with Ian for his very own qualities that have nothing to do with his best friend.” She nodded once as if to affirm the truth of that statement.

Anna chuckled. “Are you going to break up with Ian?”

She took a deep breath. “I think so.”

“And if things don’t work out with you and Jasper?”

“If? There’s little question they won’t. He’s not the relationship type, remember? He’s not built for it, or so I’ve been told,” she remarked a bit bitterly.

“Has he ever told you so?”

She shrugged. “In truth. It doesn’t matter. If I end my relationship with Ian, it will be because it’s the right thing to do regardless of what happens between Jas and me. I don’t think Ian’s the man I once thought or wanted him to be. And Jasper aside, there’s no changing that.”

Anna nodded. “Smart girl you are.”

They sat in silence for a while, long enough in fact that Gray managed to finish off three glasses of wine. Her head was woozy, and her body was relaxed and numb. It was pleasant. It was more than pleasant, and it was most definitely welcome. She looked at the clock on the wall to see it was ten, and as Anna’s eyes followed hers, she sighed.

“Past my bedtime, girlfriend,” she remarked, and she stood, carrying their glasses to the sink. “And you’re cut off, lest you break something else trying to crutch drunk around your loft.” She kissed Gray on the forehead. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

Gray watched her walk toward the door, and just as she reached it, there was a knock on the door. Anna turned, her mouth open wide and her eyes equally wide. She was ducking as though she could hide if she made herself shorter. Then she snuck up to the door, peering through the peephole.

Gray watched, nearly excited by the commotion in her drunken state.

“It’s him, it’s him, it’s him,” Anna hissed loudly, nodding her head like a lunatic.

“Him the asshole who owes you an apology, or are you referring to another him?” came Jasper’s voice as he opened the door without invitation, leveling his eyes on Gray as she gaped at him.

“No, you… You’re the asshole.” Gray commented. “But you’re not an asshole at all. It’s okay—”

“It doesn’t feel very okay to me,” he said solemnly, still studying her eyes. He glanced at Anna. “Hi, Anna. Sorry to barge in on you two.”

“It’s okay. I’m going to go.” She actually smiled warmly at him, and as she passed him, she rested her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Jas.”

He nodded. “Thanks.”

Gray stood, hollering her goodbye to Anna as the door closed behind her. She started toward him, but he met her. He looked down at her eyes, and he smiled gently. He reached for her forehead, brushing her hair back.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

He nodded. “Are you okay?” His voice was quiet.

She nodded. “I might be a little drunk.”

He chuckled with a seductive smirk on his lips. “Good, then it won’t bother you at all when I stick my tongue up your ass.” He lunged for her mouth just as aggressively as she’d overtaken his that morning. And as he captured her lips, he lifted her as her crutches hit the floor and carried her to the table, setting her on the tabletop.

He had her legs pushed out wide before her butt was fully settled onto the table, and as he set her gently down, he reached for the lower hem of her sundress, stripping it off over her head in one smooth swift move. She’d not bothered finding underwear when she got home, and as he glanced down, he smiled.

“Very nice,” he murmured as he lowered his head to her neck. He kissed down her throat as she let her head drop back. His lips moved around her neck from one side to the other, quickly planting kiss after kiss on her skin, and when he moved down farther still, his palm pressed her chest back. “Back on your elbows,” he demanded.

She dropped back, and he sucked her nipple into his mouth as he kept descending. His eyes never left hers for long, and as he neared her belly, they remained focused on hers, watching as he trailed lower and lower and lower until his tongue slipped between the lips of her sex, and she cried out. His fingers spread her open, and he pushed his tongue inside her vagina as he hummed.

Her hips wriggled under his mouth regardless of how hard she tried to stay still, and when he pushed his tongue back up to her clitoris, they not only wriggled but they trembled. Her thighs shook as she held them out wide. He lashed his tongue around those nerves, pushing hard one moment and then swirling and teasing. She was gasping as she watched him, and he pulled back slightly, studying her sex for a moment, before he leaned to her again, sucking her clit into his mouth in one long wet kiss.

“Jas,” she panted out as he released her swollen tissue, and then he licked again, humming and moaning as his mouth moved and his tongue laved.

He shoved his tongue up under the hood of her clit, and she wilted, falling back to the table as her body was wracked with such an intense orgasm that she couldn’t breathe as it passed through her. He gave her time to recover, looping his arms under her thighs and resting his hands on her belly, and when she propped herself back up, he was intently studying everything between her legs.

His lips were glossy and wet, and he licked them. He glanced to her before he leaned down and kissed her sex sweetly and gently, and when he pulled back, he winked. “You’re going to be nervous now, Gray, but you’re going to give me what I want, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. “I want all of you.”

She nodded, watching him curiously for a moment. She couldn’t say she quite understood his point.

“I want to touch all of you. I want to fuck all of you. And right now, I want to taste all of you. And you’re going to let me.”

And then she understood. He focused on her as he leaned back down to her sex, but his mouth moved lower, and his hands clutched the backs of her thighs, pushing them back farther, and opening up her bottom.

“No,” she whimpered as she tried to sit up, but he held her thighs in place, letting his fingers dig into her skin.

And then she felt it. His tongue moved over the skin separating her vagina from her anus, and when he reached her puckered small hole, he moaned as he licked—warm and wet, gently massaging and exploring. He looked up at her, his eyes meeting hers from where they watched her from between her legs. She let her body go slack, and she rested back to her elbows, letting her eyes close for a moment and just soaking in the sensation.

It was incredible—gentle and soothing, and when he pushed his tongue through slightly she moaned. He was humming, moaning, and the wet laving sound his tongue made was causing her arousal to intensify in such a way. He kept his hands on her thighs, and he turned her hips, rolling her gently over to her side as his mouth stayed against her most private entry.

He licked, letting his tongue thrust and penetrate, and when he pushed her hips farther over, she ended up on her stomach, her good foot on the floor, her bad leg held up to rest on the table top. He was kneeling behind her, and she listened as he lowered his zipper. She knew the second he touched his cock by the lurching gasp he took against her skin, and he kissed softly against her anus just before he stood up behind her.

He nudged gently against her bottom. She knew this would be intense. But she needed intense. One hand held her bottom cheek open as the other presumably guided his erection to her entry. He nudged again, insistently pressing and forcing the head past her tight muscles that constricted and spasmed. She cried out, and he leaned down, kissing the middle of her back.

“Just like the first time. I need you to keep your muscles loose,” he murmured against her skin.

He pushed farther, letting his shaft penetrate deeper, and he released a guttural sigh from his chest as he invaded her. She whimpered with every inch, her fingernails curling against the table top and clenching tight on nothing at all. When he leaned over her body, he used his free hand to cover one of her hands, waiting for her to release the clutch. She stretched her fingers out, and he laced his fingers through hers, gripping tight as he pushed the last few inches in.

She groaned from the pit of her stomach, and he kissed the back of her neck, letting his tongue graze the skin between his lips. When he rocked his hips back, she gasped as the pain seared her for a moment, but as he pushed forward again, filling her completely, it oddly soothed that pain as he settled back into place. He grinded against her bottom, slow at first, barely separating from her body at all and just keeping pressure against her, but as she relaxed into the feel of him, he started pulling out and thrusting steadily back in.

He didn’t release her hand until his hips were fucking her fast and hard, and he only unclasped his hold on her then as he spoke against her ear. “Stand up,” he demanded huskily.

She pushed up from the table, leaving her hands on the edge, and he ran his fingers through the hair at the back of her head, twisting and then pulling her head back as she grunted.

“Arch your back, and keep your ass pushed out.”

He thrust hard as her fingers mindlessly moved back to grip the front of his thighs. He grunted with each thrust, keeping his lips at her ear so she could hear every guttural groan. His muscles tightened as his thighs pushed his cock up into her bottom, and she held herself still, letting him use her body ferociously with his own.

She closed her eyes, focusing on the sensation of what he was doing to her. It was pain, it was pressure, it was intense heat that invaded her and stretched her. She could feel every inch of his length leaving her and then filling her again—plunging and retracting. And when he came, it was on a hard thrust and a curse. He released her hair, and she instantly collapsed onto the table in front of her as he slammed himself into her a couple more times, spilling his seed within her. She grunted as her stomach pressed harshly into the edge of the table, forcing the air from her lungs.

He left her body slowly, and he pulled her back into his lap as he sat in the dining room chair behind him. His fingers stroked gently over her back as she rested her cheek to his shoulder. She inhaled slowly. His scent was so subtle, and she leaned to his neck kissing his skin gently.

“Can I stay tonight?”

“Yes.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Gray joined Jasper in the shower—a small feat of physics with her bum foot, and he steadied her on her feet as she stood under the hot jets of water, washing her hair and her body. He watched her face as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Getting her back out of the shower once they’d finished was the real chore. It was like a body-to-body-slip-n-slide when he lifted her in his arms, and her eyes were wide as she clutched his neck with her hands.

Once he managed to get them both dry and safely to her bedroom, they crawled into bed with a glass of wine and watched T.V. for a while. He loved everything about this place—her warmth next to him, the view down to the city street below, and the scent of her world around him.

He was pretty sure he fell asleep first, and when he woke he was still laying between her legs with his head rested on her stomach where he last recalled being. It was an incredible place to be, and when he’d woken as his cell phone alarm beeped out that it was four o’clock, he groaned. He crawled up beside her, lying down on his stomach and staring down at his car on the street below.

Her bed butted right up to the large arched window, and there was no headboard. He rested his chin on his folded arms. He needed to get up, so he could get out of her door by four-thirty, but all he wanted was a little more of her before he left. He’d needed her so intensely the night before he’d nearly snapped on his way over to her. Sex with Gray was an incredible thing all on its own, but sex with her when he was hurting was powerful.

He had no idea what would happen between them when he returned to Austin. Hell, he didn’t even know when he’d be returning. He wanted her to wake up, because he needed more before he walked away. But he didn’t have to wake her. She stretched beside him, and she moaned as she rolled toward him. He could see her face in the subtle pink glow of the street lamps, and as he watched, her eyelids fluttered and then opened.

“Hi,” she said.

He smiled at her, reaching over and running his palm down her cheek. “Hi.”

“Are you okay?” she asked. She had such an honest sensitivity about her, and he felt her concern as though he were the one feeling it.

He nodded. Of course, it was lie. He took a deep breath. “I always dreaded this day,” he admitted, and she touched his face then. “I’m just not ready for her to be gone.” He shrugged. “And my father’s going to be there.” He shook his head. “Which is going to make all this ten times worse. I don’t anticipate it’s going to go well once he realizes G cut him out of her will five years ago.”

“What will happen between you two?”

He smirked. “You mean will he beat the shit out of me now like he did when I was a child?”

“Yeah. I guess.”

He glanced back out the window for moment. “No. It doesn’t work that way anymore. It doesn’t mean he won’t try though.”

She sighed. “Maybe I should go, so I can karate chop his balls if he gets out of line.”

He chuckled. “And here I thought Anna was the ball buster.”

She laughed.

“This is the pathetic part of my life—dealing with my father. So, please don’t misunderstand, but I don’t want you there to see it.” He watched her for a moment, and she said nothing. “I want you here being my friend, not there seeing my humiliation.”

She nodded and ran her hand down his back, and when his alarm on his phone beeped at him again, he groaned. But he hit snooze once more and let her fingers keep going. She leaned over, kissing his shoulder as her hand gently moved down to his bottom. Her palm massaged along one cheek of his buttocks, and she pulled herself up close, returning her lips to his shoulder.

When he rolled back so he could face her, he pulled her mouth to his. “I need more.” She had no idea to what depth he meant those words. He wasn’t sure he’d wrapped his own head around it, but there were no truer words he could have spoken. “I want to make love to you,” he whispered against her ear as he pushed her to her back and crawled on top of her.

She parted her legs wide, and he gave her time to warm up as he kissed her lips and her neck. He’d come to realize in only the short time he’d been able to touch her pussy, that her arousal was an intense thing, and if she wanted it, her body wouldn’t be hiding it. She drenched quickly when she was in heat, and he’d become addicted to that sweet warm wetness. It was slick now as he slid his cock against her seam, and when he pressed harder, brushing her clit, her head fell back, and she cried out.

When he pushed into her, it was slow and gentle. She deserved slow and gentle after the day he’d put her through. He’d been hard on her body and hard on her emotions. But this was going to be nice and easy for her. He kept his lips right up against hers as he rolled his hips and grinded himself against her.

But his favorite was when he wedged his knees under her thighs and kneeled upright. He lifted her small frame to sit on his lap, and she wrapped her legs around him. He clenched his ass, driving himself slowly up into her gut. He knew he was deep. She was tiny, and he most definitely wasn’t. When her sheath clenched down tight on him, he gasped and leaned forward, bracing himself with a hand on the window.

He kept his hand on the glass and his lips against hers as his hips moved. She came quickly with her arms wrapped tightly around him, and as she moaned softly and sweetly against his mouth, his lips parted, needing to talk.

“I need you,” he whispered through gritted teeth. “I need you. Please.” His voice was so quiet, but she heard him, and she kissed his forehead, holding his cheeks in her hands. “Please, please, fuck, please, Gray.” His mouth moved, begged and pleaded for something he didn’t know how to ask for. He needed all of her. But it wasn’t about this moment. It was about everything that came after it.

When her hand covered his left pec, he cried out, nearly sobbing. Her palm was warm, and she gripped gently as he continued to rock his hips between her legs. All he could do was beg. And he pled with her as her hand touched his chest right over his G, and he didn’t stop pleading until he was coming inside her body. And as he caught his breath afterward, he let his forehead drop to hers as he panted against her lips. “I… I…” need all of you. “…need to go.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go. I’m going to be late.”

She kissed him, and his blood prickled warmly through his veins. I’m falling in love with you. Thinking it in his mind when her lips were on his was intoxicating, horrifying and intoxicating, not to mention utterly confusing. He couldn’t do this. She wasn’t his to love, and he wasn’t a man who could do this. He scrambled quickly away from her and off the bed, lifting his hands to the back of his head, trying to act casual as she looked up at him.

“Jas—”

“Sorry. I’m late. I’ve got to…” He shook his head looking around like an idiot. He snatched his clothes off the nearby chair, and she watched him as he dressed quickly. He was panicking. He was also trilling with need and excitement for her. He rubbed his hands on the tops of his thighs once he was dressed and trying to figure out what to do. How fucking hard was it to just say goodbye and walk out?

She watched him curiously, and she cocked her head to the side as she studied him in the dim pink light. “Are you okay?”

He took a deep breath, nodding his head. He forced himself to approach the bed, and then he sank down to the mattress beside her. “I wanted to take you to your appointment later today. I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. I can manage on my own.” She looked nervous, and she bit her lower lip.

“Umm…” he stared at her lap for a moment, his heart pounding. “Thank you for … yesterday, this morning…”

Her smile was small, and he could barely see it in the dim light, but he knew regardless of what he could see that she was blushing again. There was the shyness.

“It wasn’t nearly long enough,” he added quietly.

She shook her head. “No, it wasn’t,” she whispered.

He kissed her again. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah. Take care.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Gray rested her forehead against the glass of the window as she looked down at the street. Her chin was sitting on her upstretched and folded arms, and as Jasper walked from the building to his car parked at the curb, she inhaled deeply. He drove a sleek looking black something or other, but having been in his car a few times, she was guessing it was an expensive something or other.

He ran his hand through his hair as he pulled the door open, and then he glanced up at her window four stories above. She gasped, but there was no reason. The lights were off, and it was still entirely too dark out. He was, however, illuminated perfectly by the street lamps, and as he studied her window for a moment, he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed.

Her phone rang beside her on the nightstand.

“Forget something?” she asked.

“Are you watching me?” His voice was quiet as he studied her window.

“Yes.”

He hummed. “You were very shy yesterday after we made love—today too frankly.”

She held her breath for a moment. “I was kind of thinking you were too.” Or at least as close to shy as a man with his cool blunt nature could get.

He rested his forearm on the top of his car as he stood by the driver’s door. “It was an odd feeling—knowing we’d just… I don’t know.” He reached up, running his hand through his hair again. “Tell me, is my semen dripping from your pussy yet?”

Well, he’d gone from being nearly vulnerable with her to being blunt as hell in one second flat, and her breath left in a very audible rush as he chuckled.

“No,” she whispered.

“I have to say, I love that your cum is covering my cock, not to mention my entire groin. You do get wet when you want it, don’t you?”

She gasped. What the hell was she supposed to say to that?

“Don’t be embarrassed, Gray. Your arousal for me is intoxicating.” He was quiet for a moment. “Tell me again you’re okay with what we did.”

“I’m okay.” She reached out to the window, letting her fingertips press against the glass.

“I want to spend time with you when I get back…”

She froze holding her breath.

“…alone,” he finished.

“I’d like that.”

“Good. Listen, I better go. Go back to sleep. It’s early.”

“Bye.”

She did fall back asleep eventually, but not until she’d stared out the window for nearly thirty minutes. Alone. Her body flushed as she looked down at the empty parking space he’d left behind. It wouldn’t stay empty, but thanks to the early hour, it was at the moment. Alone. Her skin crawled with a hot electric rush of blood, and then she felt it. The warm trickle of his cum as it left her body and dripped to the sheets.

She closed her eyes, and she was out.

* * * *

“Well, I’d like to get you fitted for the walking boot this Friday afternoon. You’re scheduled for your first physical therapy appointment next Monday, so we should have you in the boot by the end of the week. No weight bearing until you meet with the PT on Monday.” Dr. Thomson smiled at her.

“Okay,” she said.

He left the room for a short time, and when he returned it was with two nurses. They fitted her with a new splint, and it was an uncomfortable process that stretched her repaired Achilles until she was whimpering. Anna had ditched class to the chagrin of Daniel to take her to the appointment, and as Gray groaned, Anna grimaced. In the end, her foot was pulled back to flatten the sole and stretch the tendon.

“You’re tough cookies, love,” Anna commented as Dr. Thomson left the room. She handed Gray the crutches and helped her off the table.

“I don’t know about that,” Gray commented as they left the room.

“How’d it go last night with Jasper?”

“Fine.”

“Fine? That’s all you have to say? Did you sleep with him?”

A nurse eyed them suspiciously as they passed by the intake desk on their way out of the building.

Gray didn’t bother answering that question until they were in the car. “Yes.”

Anna started the car, backing out slowly. “So, how do you see this thing playing out?” she pried without taking her attention off the road.

“Wouldn’t it be great if I could answer that question,” Gray remarked as she stared down at her wrapped foot. “He said he wants to spend time alone with me when he returns.” She glanced over at Anna just to see cocked eyebrows.

Anna hummed in contemplation. “Pause this. I’m starving, and since I’m skipping practice this afternoon, we’re having lunch.”

They ended up at a small bistro downtown with sidewalk seating, and as Anna sat across from her stuffing her mouth, she smirked. “So it sounds to me like you have some work to do before Jas gets back from San Diego.”

“By ‘work’ I assume you mean… What do you mean?”

“Breaking up with Ian.”

“Ah… Well, he makes it difficult when he’s never around. I haven’t even heard from him since he left for Dallas on Sunday. But, yes,” she sighed. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Then you’re free and clear to pursue a relationship—”

“You make it sound so simple. Did you forget I happen to be infatuated with a man who prefers his relationships with women to stay on the casual level? Who also happens to be best friends with the man I’m getting ready to break up with. Oh, and let’s not forget he’s also given me no reason to think a relationship with me is what he really wants. If I break up with Ian, it won’t be because of some perceived future with Jasper.”

“I don’t believe for one moment that the demise of your relationship with Ian isn’t completely related to the introduction of Jasper into your life.”

“First of all,” she lowered her voice. “I admit things changed with Ian and I once I met Jasper, but what hasn’t changed is who Ian is. And while Jasper’s presence may have sped up my realization that Ian and I may not be so compatible, it neither alters who Ian truly is or how I ultimately ended up feeling about Ian.” She studied Anna pointedly, but then she shook her head. “Besides, Ian’s the idiot that decided it would be a good idea to encourage me to sleep with his best friend,” she muttered.

“Yeah? Well, falling in love with him is completely on your shoulders, dear.” Anna winked at her.

“Take Jasper out of the equation and it doesn’t change the fact that Ian and I aren’t a good match.”

But Anna was stuck on the fact that Gray hadn’t disagreed with her assertion that she loved the man. “You do love him. I knew it,” she said proudly. “You should never have a threesome again, because you’re no good at it.” She said smugly. “Leave the sex play to those more capable of dealing with such things in the future.”

Gray smirked, but that smirk fell from her lips quickly. “Like Jasper,” she commented quietly.

Anna studied her with a wrinkled brow.

“Let’s not forget this is his world as much as Ian’s I’ve been living in.” She stared at the table for a moment. “That’s a sobering thought if nothing else, and a good example of why I’d be insane to think there’s much chance at a normal relationship with him.” She smiled, but it was forced, and it was nothing more than her attempt to hide the pain of that thought.

Anna stared at her, scowling as she leveled her eyes on Gray’s. “He can’t stay away from you. He can’t stop sleeping with you. He actually spends time with you—real time. Like outside of the bedroom time with you. He’s cooked for you, carried your broken ass around, sat in a hospital waiting room for you, and he just told you he wants time alone with you—alone meaning without his best friend there calling the shots. And you think he regards you as some casual fling?”

She shrugged.

“Maybe you should talk to him about this. There’s nothing wrong with telling him you like him and you want more from him. The worst he can say is—”

“I don’t feel the same,” Gray finished for her. “That would be heartbreaking.”

“So what?” Anna asked bluntly. “Heartbreak is part of life. Don’t be afraid of it, because it can kick you in the ass whether you fear it or embrace it.”

Gray looked up the block, letting her focus wander. She wished she had Anna’s attitude. Anna was fiery, and she wore her emotions, all of them, proudly. But Gray had never felt that strong, and getting hurt when it truly mattered terrified her as much as anything in the world did.

By the time they made it back to Gray’s loft is was early evening. Anna left shortly after that and Gray spent the entire evening on the couch being lazy. At midnight, she picked up her phone, and she stared at it. She dialed, and she held her breath.

He hummed out his greeting sleepily. “Gray,” he said on a yawn.

“I woke you. I’m sorry. I thought it was early enough on the west coast.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad you called. I just had an early morning and a long day. How are you?” His voice was quiet and lazy.

“Fine. How did everything go today?”

He chuckled for a moment. “Well, I learned my grandmother was worried enough about her health that she called her lawyer when she was in the hospital and gave him strict instructions to notify my father immediately upon her death that he was no longer in her will and wasn’t welcome or allowed in her home. It did not, however, stop him from letting himself into her home before I managed to get here and start pilfering through her belongings. I had to call the police. It got … interesting. He caused a scene. It just… Where my father is, the drama is sure to follow. He’s already threatened to sue me for what he perceives to be his rightful portion of her estate.”

“Wow. That’s pretty intense,” she remarked. It was also quite sad.

“No, Gray. Intense is fucking you. This is just plain pathetic.”

She smiled. “Well, it would have been rude to say pathetic,” she replied sarcastically.

He chuckled.

“How are you doing with everything emotionally?”

“I have to say I’ve never met anyone who’s as comfortable as you at asking people to open up to her.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No,” he answered quickly. “It’s an amazing thing actually. One of my favorite things about you.” He took a deep breath. “To answer your question … I’m fine. I’m … still struggling to believe she could be gone. It doesn’t help I’m staying in her home, or my home depending on how you want to see it, surrounded by memories. Seems like everywhere I look I’m seeing some piece of my past.”

“When is the funeral?”

“The funeral is here in Torrey this Thursday at eleven at her church. The problem is I have no idea how to get the notice out to all her friends. I just haven’t been around for so long, and… I’m kind of at a loss as to how I’m supposed to do this. There’s just no help. She was a widow, she had no other children aside from my father, no siblings, and while there are some distant cousins, her real connections were with her friends and neighbors. I spent over two hours just pouring through her address book and calling people.”

“I wish I could help.”

He sighed. “You can. Talk to me.”

“What about?”

“You. Hearing your voice is exceptionally soothing. So just talk. How about your best memory. Tell me about it.”

She curled up on her side, pulling the throw blanket over her legs. “Umm… A few years ago, I guess. When I made principal with the company. Daniel, our director, told me, and I still remember every second of that conversation. I… I felt like I was finally getting everything I ever wanted in life. Like all the work and practice and sacrifice had paid off.”

“Sacrifices, huh? All the three-ways you never got to experience, because you were too busy walking around on your toes…”

She laughed. “Yeah.” She thought about it for a moment. “It’s easy not to see beyond those moments. In those moments, nothing else matters.”

“Yes,” he agreed.

“And your best memory?”

“Easy. Paying off Ian. I owed him a lot of money when we opened the bar. I had no idea how profitable it would be, and I can’t tell you how good it felt to have my name, and only my name, on the deed to Graystone. I’d never owned a damn thing up to that point. Hell, I’d never had a damn thing—at least not of my own. It meant something to me—just owning it. It’s sounds simple now, but for me, growing up poor, never having new clothes, never knowing where we’d live from one month to another, never believing I could be more than what I was… It meant something powerful to me.”

“That makes perfect sense. Out of curiosity, why didn’t you borrow the money from your grandmother? She was wealthy, right?”

“Easy, if not a bit ridiculous in hindsight. I felt like a huge disappointment to her, especially after I dropped out of high school and disappeared for years. I guess I just didn’t want to disappoint her again. I was worried Graystone wouldn’t be successful. I didn’t even tell her about the venture until I started turning a profit. I needed to know that… Well, in a way that she would be proud of me. I’d put her through so much, and I didn’t want this to be a worry for her.”

She hummed. “I can understand that. How about your worst memory?”

“There’s an order to this conversation, Gray, and you just broke it. You first.”

She swallowed, taking a deep breath. Honesty. It was required, but fuck she hated this one. “Okay. I had this momentary lapse of judgment when I was in high school. A couple friends asked me to go to a party, and I’d said no. But then I got into an argument with my mom, and I decided … fuck it. My friends went out all the time. I was going to go out too. The party was basically just a drunk fest, and a couple guys were hitting on me. Just flirting. There was one in particular though who I just thought was beautiful. The other one seemed far nicer. Friendly. But I wanted the handsome one, or so mildly drunk Gray thought.”

She chuckled quietly, hating that she was actually going to say this out loud to him. “At some point the handsome one turned to the friendly one…” She cleared her throat. “…and said ‘fugly?’” He was talking about me while I sat right there. The nice one disagreed with him. And I sat there trying to figure out how to deal with it, feeling so pathetic and stupid. I didn’t get angry. I was too embarrassed. I didn’t say anything at all because I was so humiliated. I just sat there like an idiot.”

He exhaled deeply. “What did you end up doing?”

She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. She cleared her throat again. “I let the handsome one finger fuck me in a bedroom.” She was silent for a moment, and he said nothing either. “And when I looked in the mirror the next morning, hung over and my mascara on my cheeks, I hated myself in a way I’ve never felt before.” She brushed a tear away, covering the mouthpiece as she sniffed her nose.

He took a deep breath, and he let it out slowly as she listened. “What I wouldn’t give to find that man, tear his cock off, and shove it down his throat,” he muttered. “You’re absolutely stunning, Gray.”

“But it doesn’t really matter, does it? It was never about what he thought. It was about what I was willing to think about myself. It’s amazing the damage people can do to us when we let them. Why did I let him?” she mused.

“You were young.”

“Would it be any different today?”

“I don’t know,” he said gently. He was silent then, and she was too.

But after a while of letting that silence stretch out, she smiled again. “Your turn.”

“Okay. You remember the story Ian told you about my dad showing up at my school and picking me up in the middle of football practice?”

“Yes.”

“The most difficult and painful thing I’ve ever had to do was go back to school a week later. It was humiliating.” He clammed up a bit then, going silent as she waited for more.

“Why?”

“When he pulled up, all the kids thought he was so fucking cool. He had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and he sauntered over to me. And I’ll admit I was so excited. My dad had never, not once, come to get me like that. But there he was, acting as if he actually wanted to see me, acting like I’d always wanted him to act. Like a parent.

“But things changed fast. He didn’t have any money, no food, we literally lived out of his car for days. I stole food from a gas station one morning, because I was so hungry. But I was also so fucking stubborn and proud, and I refused to call my grandmother, because she would never condone my choice to go with him. I didn’t go home until he beat the shit out of me one night.”

She was wiping tears away again, and she pinched her lips tightly closed to stop them from trembling.

“Having to face the other kids after he’d beat me up, looking like my face had been run through a blender… I’ve never been more humiliated. All I could think about was how pathetically proud I’d been of him the week before.”

“I’m so sorry, Jas.”

“You’re right about the power we give people over us. I only went home because he ditched me at my grandma’s house and took off again. Sad thing is, I’d have probably stayed with him…”

“Talk about wanting to rip someone’s cock off and shove it down their throat. Am I allowed to say I hate your father?”

He chuckled. “Yes, you are.”

She smiled, not quite sure what to say at that point. She knew she needed to let him go, but God, she really didn’t want to. She finally took a deep breath. “I should let you go. I know you’re tired.”

“Not yet.”

She could nearly hear his smirk.

Chapter Twenty-Five

“Can you get to your bathroom with the phone?”

“Umm…” Gray said curiously. “Yeah. I’ve gotten damn good at crutching and carrying things, but … uh … why?”

“Just go.” Jasper listened to her as she moved. She said “shit” three times, he distinctly heard her run into something, and when she finally blew out an exasperated breath, he started laughing. “You made it in one piece I take it?”

“Barely,” she muttered.

“Good. Now close the door and grab that vanity chair that sits in there and set it in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the door. Put the crutches against the wall. You won’t need them for a few minutes.”

“M’kay. Now what?”

“Now sit in the chair.”

She sighed. “Okay?” She sounded confused.

“Now slip your pants and underwear off and spread your legs open.”

She gasped at that.

“Do it, Gray.”

She paused, and he listened to her breathe. “I could just lie—”

“You won’t.”

He heard the sound of fabric rustling, and when she sighed again it was nervous.

“Keep your eyes on that mirror and slide your finger inside your pussy.”

“I can’t do this,” was her breathless reply.

“Yes you can.” He gave her a moment, remaining silent as he closed his eyes and imagined the sight.

She cried out, and he knew she was touching.

“Are you wet?”

“Yes.” Even more breathless.

“Fuck yourself with your finger and listen to me.”

She moaned quietly. It was the only response she gave him.

He licked his lips, ignoring his arousal that was straining against the front of his underwear as he lay on the bed in his grandmother’s spare room. “You are so incredibly beautiful.”

She whimpered, but it sounded more anguished than anything. She didn’t believe him. He knew that, and he hated it.

“I’ve never, in all my life, been so attracted to a woman as I am to you. Tell me you understand that.” He kept his voice warm and calm, trying to soothe her with his voice.

“Hmm-mm,” she whimpered out.

“Come on, Gray. You must see it. I don’t hide it from you. Do you see that wet pink skin you’re touching?”

“Yes.”

“I thought I was going to lose my mind yesterday morning when I finally touched it, and last night when I finally tasted it, you can’t imagine what that did to me. Look at yourself in that fucking mirror, and tell me you understand how much I want you.”

She cried out again. “I understand.”

“Good girl. Are you going to come for me?”

“Yes,” she whispered, her breaths lurching.

“Look at your face.”

“Ah… God, please don’t—” Her quick breaths said she was touching herself and she was doing a damn fine job of getting herself there. Her lurching voice said she was truly terrified of looking at her own face while she did it.

“Look,” he demanded. “I love your eyes, I love your lips, I love your tits, I love your pussy, and your bottom, and your belly. I love to look at you. I get hard just thinking about the way you look, smell, taste, feel. I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

She was panting, and she whimpered—her quiet sounds coming out in a wavered barely controlled mewl.

“I can’t get enough of you. Every glimpse of you makes me want another. Every touch makes me crave more. Every taste makes me hungry.”

She cried out then, loudly unleashing her orgasm as he listened, and he gave her some time to pass over the peak of it, letting his cock throb in need as he listened to her release.

“What I need is what you see in that mirror. All of you. Do you fucking understand me?”

“Yes,” she whimpered again, and her voice sobbed out quietly as her orgasm tapered away.

Her breaths were deep and quick, and he listened as she inhaled and exhaled. “You okay, Gray?” he asked softly.

“Yes.”

He smiled. “I told you once I was blunt. I’m known for it. So when I tell you you’re beautiful, you’d do best to remember I wouldn’t be saying it if I didn’t mean it.” His words were almost harsh, but he knew she understood his meaning. “You are incredible, and no bitch of a little boy ever had the right to put his fingers inside your body and use his words to make you feel anything less than that.”

She exhaled slowly.

“Now I really do need to get some sleep. I have a hard on from hell, and I can’t quite bring myself to masturbate in my grandmother’s home.”

She laughed quietly at that. She was just fine. “Good night, Jas.”

“Good night, Gray.”

* * * *

“What the fuck do you want?” Jasper sneered at his father standing on the porch.

“What the fuck you think? I got stuff in there I’s owed, you fucking punk.”

“You’re not allowed to be here. This property doesn’t belong to you. I’m the rightful owner, as you well know, and if I need to call the cops again, I will. Get. Off. This. Property,” he seethed through gritted teeth.

“You worthless piece of shit. Wish you’d never been born. Only reason that bitch ever gave a shit about you was ‘cause of me. I’m the one who dumped your ass with her. You should be thanking me.”

Jasper’s fists balled tightly at his sides, and he glared at the monster standing in front of him. “You are such a bastard,” he muttered.

“I’m not actually. You are though. Or something like it.” His father smirked. “What’s it called when a mother leaves her own child because he’s so worthless she can’t stand the sight of him?” He laughed.

His dad was sober, and there was something oddly horrifying about the man to Jasper when he was sober. Sober meant there were no excuses for the hate. He just truly hated Jasper for reasons Jasper still couldn’t grasp. It hurt. It hurt to know he didn’t have to do anything to the man to make him hate him. It was just this inherent quality.

When his father tried to push past him, Jasper planted a hand on his chest and pushed back.

“I said get off this property.” His voice was low and furious.

And that’s when his father attacked. His fist connected squarely with Jasper’s jaw before Jasper’s brain even registered the movements, but Jasper recovered quickly, putting his fist into his father’s gut. His dad staggered back down the few steps to the polished paving stone walkway.

The ironic thing was the home was gated. Jasper just couldn’t fucking use the gate, because he didn’t have the access code, and he couldn’t find it. A service company had come out the day before and had eyed him suspiciously when he’d asked them to change the code. After studying his longer hair, his naturally tanned skin, and his casual dress, they’d refused. Without proof he was the rightful owner of the property, they weren’t going to touch the gate. But thanks to his grandmother’s lawyer, they had the documentation they needed in hand that afternoon, and he was now waiting for the damn company again, entertaining his dick of a father in the meantime until he could lock the fucker out for good.

“If you try to enter this home, I’ll stop you.” He stared at his father.

“And what are you going to do. Stay here. Live in her house? You think these people want you here?” His father’s face was a cruel ugly thing. “Do you know how fucking stupid you look standing in front of this house. You’re a fucking loser moke just like your mom—”

Jasper stepped back through the door, slamming it and leaning his back against it as he closed his eyes and doubled over with his hands on his knees. His father continued to throw down more racial slurs as his tirade continued, and as Jasper shook his head, his chest tightened. Why did it have to hurt? He just wanted to be furious. He could handle anger. But the hurt was what got him every time.

He dialed the police officer who’d responded the day before from the business card the man had given him. “Hi, Officer Bradley. This is Jasper Drees. I’m having some more difficulties keeping my father off my grandmother’s property.”

“Can’t say that’s a surprise, having met the man yesterday. I’ll head out now.”

Jasper didn’t bother engaging his father in conversation as he waited. The man stood out front, yelling and cussing like an idiot, and Jasper eventually sank to the floor against the door. He stared at the floor, and he stared at his phone in his hand. He pulled up Gray’s contact information, and he stared at it for a moment too. He didn’t want to pull her into this mess, but he knew all he really needed was to hear her voice. If he could hear her warmth, her emotion, her softness, he could handle this.

“Hi,” she answered.

“Hi.” He listened to the silence for a moment. “Tell me what you’re doing.”

She laughed awkwardly. “I’m watching a video on knitting and trying to knit something. It’s not going well. But, I did manage to knit something that looks oddly like a lumpy snake.”

He chuckled, and then he sighed.

“Jasper, what’s wrong?”

He gritted his teeth, and he shook his head. “Nothing.”

But then his father let loose a rather long and loud profanity laden string of words, and Gray gasped.

“What was—?”

“It’s nothing. My father’s here. The police are on their way. I punched him in the stomach, and I’m just trying to stay away from him, so I don’t do it again. I got a very stern warning from the police not to engage him in any altercation after I gave him a black eye yesterday.”

“Jasper—” She went silent. “Well, why don’t they arrest him?”

“They let him off with a warning yesterday. I’m hoping they’ll arrest him today. But it’s trespassing. It’s not like they’ll keep him for long,” he muttered.

She sighed. It was troubled, and he hated it.

“Tell me more about this snake.”

“Jas—”

“Please.”

She sighed again. “It’s not a snake. It’s a lumpy bumpy thing, and it looks stupid.”

He closed his eyes, imaging her sitting on his lap, straddling his hips and nuzzling against his neck. That’s what he needed. He needed to feel her skin against his, her breath against his neck, her warmth touching him. He was so homesick for her he could barely stand it.

“I thought I was going to make—”

“You fucking lava lamp motherfucker!” his father’s voice carried through the door as he pounded on it.

She shrieked in surprise at the sudden interruption, and he shook his head, covering the mouthpiece. “Fuck,” he hissed.

“Jasper, what the hell?” she asked. “And why the hell is he calling you a lava lamp?” She sounded angry, furious even.

He sighed. “It’s a rather derogatory way of referring to someone of my mother’s Hawaiian heritage,” he muttered, and then he stood walking away from the door. “I better go. I shouldn’t have called you when I did. Things are just so fucked up here—”

“No, please don’t let me go. Just stay on the phone. Please,” she begged.

He heard the police sirens at just that moment. “The cop is here. I need to let you go. I’m fine. I promise. I just wanted to talk for a minute.”

She was reluctant to get off the phone, and when he finally did manage it, he opened the door to find Officer Bradley arresting his father. None of it stopped his dad’s mouth, and he watched as Bradley shook his head in dismay as he put his dad in the car.

Ten minutes later as Officer Bradley was pulling out, the service company for the gate pulled in. “About fucking time,” he muttered to himself. He hated his life at the moment.

Chapter Twenty-Six

“What do you mean you’re going to San Diego?” Anna balked at her as she watched Gray shove a pile of laundry toward the bathroom with her crutches.

“He shouldn’t be there alone. I can’t stand that he’s—”

“Honey, you can barely even figure out how to move dirty laundry from your bedroom to your bathroom, and you’re going to travel alone? And do I need to remind you that you’re supposed to get fitted for the boot on Friday afternoon? It’s Wednesday!”

“I can be back by mid-day on Friday in enough time to get there.” She gave her laundry pile another shove.

Anna studied Gray for a moment before she scooped up the pile of laundry from the floor and marched toward the bathroom. “Did it ever occur to you that pushing a laundry basket across the floor with your crutches might be more effective than pushing the actual pile?” she commented sarcastically over her shoulder as she walked into the bathroom. “And you’ve got dirty underwear stuck to the bottom of your crutch.”

Gray looked down, and then she started shaking the crutch, trying to untangle the silky material from the rubber cap on the bottom of her crutch. It threw her off balance, and she nearly toppled over just as Anna exited the bathroom and caught her by the arm.

“He’s a big boy. He can handle this on his own. You, on the other hand, are one disaster after another waiting to happen. And you have your responsibilities right now that include taking care of yourself.” Anna studied her. “Have you told him you’re coming?”

“No. He’ll tell me not to—”

“And you don’t think you should listen?” She was starting to sound shrill.

“No! He has no one there for him. That’s not okay with me. He’s my friend as much as anything, and frankly, I’d do the same for you whether you asked me to or not!” She let out a frustrated huff. “I have two weeks’ worth of laundry to get done tonight, and I still have to get packed if there’s any chance of catching an early flight tomorrow morning in time for the funeral, so do you really want to keep arguing with me?”

Anna nodded. “Yes, actually. I do want to keep arguing, but…” She held her hands up. “I have a costume fitting in forty-five minutes, so I can’t stay.” She shook her head in irritation. “Listen, I can’t help you tonight, but if I can get you picked up and dropped off at the airport tomorrow morning before I have to be in dress rehearsal, then I will.” She sighed in exasperation. “I’m sorry I can’t do more—”

“It’s okay. I can handle this.” She stared at Anna for a moment. “I can.”

Anna hugged her. “Text me the time you need me to pick you up tomorrow morning, and I’ll see you then.” She pecked Gray on the cheek.

“Thank you.”

Gray spent the rest of that night using her crutch to shove laundry baskets back and forth between her bedroom and bathroom. She knocked her suitcase off the top shelf in her closet right onto her head and landed, quite fortunately, in a basket of clean laundry when it knocked her off balance. She cussed more in the space of four hours than she’d cussed her entire life, but she managed to get her small carry-on suitcase packed.

It took her an hour of online obituary research for San Diego before she came across one for an eighty-nine year old woman by the name of Gertie Drees. The church name and address was listed in the small write up, and she printed out the information, folding it and tucking it away in her purse.

The moment she picked up her phone to call the airline to book her flight, it buzzed in her hand. It was a text from Ian.

Back in town tomorrow. Dinner? Invite Jas too?

She stared at the screen, knowing she needed to respond but wishing like hell she didn’t have to. She typed quickly.

Jas is out of town, and I’m busy. Sorry.

What she should be doing was dialing his number so she could break up with him. But it seemed like a face to face conversation thing, and frankly, she wasn’t going to take the time right now. Instead, she decided to preschedule her break-up so she couldn’t back out.

Friday night?

Maybe. Might work late. I’ll call you.

K

She clasped her hand to her forehead and groaned. She might have all the permission in the world to screw Ian’s best friend, but she was pretty sure lying about her trip to San Diego to be with Jasper was all sorts of wrong.

By the time she managed to pick up the phone again, it was a good fifteen minutes later. She called the airline to book a break of dawn flight for the following morning that would put her in San Diego with enough time to get to the funeral. She arranged for what amounted to invalid babysitting for herself, and by the time she got off the phone she was set to meet someone at the drop off lane the next morning who would assist her.

She had no idea what reception would await her in California the next day, and she wasn’t going to call Jas and give him the opportunity to tell her not to come. She fully believed he shouldn’t be there alone. She just hoped he’d appreciate that sentiment.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“Hey.” Jasper almost ignored the call from Ian on Thursday morning. He was just getting out of the shower and getting ready for the funeral. His phone had rung from his bedroom, and he’d rushed to it, hoping it was Gray—not her boyfriend. But he’d answered the call regardless.

“Hey. Gray said you were out of town. Too bad, I was going to suggest some playtime tonight.”

Jasper’s guts clenched tight in response to that. The very statement alone made him want to hit something, but instead, he tightened his hand into a fist and sat on the side of the bed. “Yeah. My grandmother passed away. I’m in San Diego. The funeral’s later this morning.”

“Oh… Sorry.” Ian sounded awkward. “Uh… So when are you back in town?”

“I have no idea at this point. There’s a lot of bullshit to weed through with her estate, and my dad isn’t helping matters.”

Ian snorted. “Good ol’ pops, huh?”

“Yeah. So I guess you and Gray will just have to have fun without me tonight.” His fist clenched tighter and tighter as he spoke. He felt entirely too far away from home at the moment, and the very notion that his suggestion could actually happen left him feeling sick to his stomach.

“Nah. Doesn’t matter. Gray’s got something going on anyway. I might see her tomorrow night. Who knows,” he said aloofly.

The relief was swift, and he exhaled slowly. “I’ll call you when I get back in town.”

“Sure.”

The moment he hung up with Ian, he dialed her. Her phone went straight to voice mail, and as he listened to her voice asking him to leave a message, he wandered over to a picture of his grandparents that sat on the dresser in the room. When he picked it up, his eyes teared.

Beep

“Hi, Gray,” he choked it out, forcing his voice to remain steady and casual. “I was just hoping to talk to you this morning. I … uh… Just call me later.” He hung up before his voice could waver, and then he sat on the side of the bed, clutching the picture in his hand and letting his tears fall.

He’d never felt more alone in all his life. Of course he knew G would die someday, but it was amazing how full his life felt when she was alive, and how truly empty it felt now that she was gone. He wasn’t like other people in the world who were surrounded by family. He had his G and that was it. There was nothing and no one else for him now.

He cleared his throat as he stood up, and he went through the motion of putting his suit on. He hated suits. He hated formality in general. People didn’t buy it on him. He just didn’t fit that mold, and he felt like an imposter when he tried to be this man. The discomfort of conforming left him feeling even more vulnerable on this day, and as he stood at the kitchen counter drinking his coffee a short while later, he contemplated running away.

He wouldn’t, of course, but he’d never wanted to more in his life. He didn’t want to face any of this—not the people, not the urn with her ashes in it, not his father who would no doubt be there making his life hell, not the forced sociality of it. But, as he tossed the last of his coffee in the sink, he cursed and then he left the house.

* * * *

Jasper stared at the floor as he walked into the sanctuary—his father behind him and the minister in front of him. He sat in the front row, and his father sat in the same pew nearly four feet from him. He was alone and pathetic sitting there by himself. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. He knew full well other families didn’t look this way. Other families would fill the first pews, sitting side by side with one another. His own father couldn’t handle being any closer to him than four feet away, and he stared at his lap, fighting the tears as much for that as the loss of his grandmother.

He didn’t bother listening to much as the minister spoke. He stared at his lap, trying to be small, trying to make the world around him disappear. And it wasn’t until he was walking out during the procession a short while later that he managed to look up at anyone at all. He glanced around, not allowing his eyes to meet any one particular person’s for more than the briefest of seconds, and as his eyes met Gray’s, they passed right on by until his heart came grinding to a stop. He looked back, and his gait came to a halt as his lips parted and he stared at her. His father nearly walked into the back of him, and as he passed, he had a venomous sneer on his face. But Jasper’s attention returned to her quickly. She bit her lower lip. She looked terrified.

He knew his face was a stone. He was just in shock, but as he watched her, his eyes glossed over and finally filled with tears. When his lips started trembling, her brow wrinkled. His eyelids fluttered as he tried to fight off the tears, but they fell anyway, and he lowered his head. There was little doubt the entire church was staring at him as he acted like a fool.

But his sudden breakdown left him desperate to touch her, and he reached out to her hand that was still gripping one of her crutches. His fingers were trembling as much as his lips were. He reached for her body. It was an awkward thing hugging her with crutches under her arms, and it had resulted in the damn things being dropped to the floor more times than he could recall over the past couple weeks. But this time, he just clutched at her hip, his other hand reaching for her cheek, his fingers curling against her ear.

He ignored the people watching him, and he leaned to her ear. “Hi,” he whispered. It was kind of a silly thing to say under the circumstances, but he didn’t have a clue what else he was supposed to say.

“Hi,” she whispered right back, and then he nuzzled against her neck for a moment, breathing slowly and deeply against her skin. She reached to his waist, gripping him under his suit jacket, and he moaned the quietest deepest sound he’d ever made as he felt her touch. When he pulled back, he brushed a tear away from his cheek quickly, and then he shook his head, trying to clear it.

He studied her for a moment, and then he nodded, squeezing her waist gently again before he turned and walked away. He wasn’t trying to desert her, but he was supposed to be in the vestibule in the greeting line. Of course the greeting line would only consist of himself and his father, and when he entered the small entryway that separated the front doors from the sanctuary, he found it empty aside from the minister. He glanced around looking for his dad for a moment, but as people started slowly filing out of the sanctuary, the minister pulled him to his side. He took a deep breath as he forced a small smile to his lips as the first person approached him.

Most people shook his hand kindly and smiled at him sadly as they moved through the greeting line. He hated this. He’d been dreading it for days. Being forced to greet and thank every last person who had come to the funeral was painful for him. He knew a good portion of these people were the same Torrey Highland residents who liked to glare at him from their cars and judge him for his slightly less than Caucasian look. Never mind the negative impression a good lot of them had based on nothing more than the shenanigans his father had pulled since his grandmother’s passing.

The only saving grace was that his father hadn’t returned, and he seemed to be gone for good. Jasper was fine with that. Being so close to his dad on any day was painful, having to be around him on this particular day was just plain torturous. But now she was here. The moment he saw her, the knot in his chest released and his entire body relaxed and sighed.

The fact she was so close to him right now was at once terrifying and comforting. He waited for her to come through the procession line, willing himself to behave this time. He’d had a hard time walking away from her when he’d seen her standing at the end of the pew. Pulling his fingers from her body when all he wanted was to touch her skin was almost impossible.

He’d have never condoned her coming, and he wasn’t at all sure how the hell she’d made it happen, but his heart was beating again for the first time in days, and the empty hole in the pit of his soul felt just a little less empty. He glanced down the line of people, and she was just exiting the sanctuary. He was reminded of the conversation he’d had with her once about what a relationship meant to a person.

It had been such an oddly intimate and personal conversation when he barely knew the woman. But maybe his grandmother had been right. Some people were just easy to know. And perhaps she’d been right when she’d suggested that Jas was simply supposed to know Gray too—as though the world had its own ideas of who a person was intended to connect to.

But as she neared him now, all he could think about was that conversation. She’d said a partner filled in your missing pieces. He’d said a true partner made your past tolerable. She most definitely did that for him. He’d never liked himself in spite of his garbage so much in all his life. And he couldn’t help but wonder if there was any chance he could make her whole in the way she needed. He knew she felt like her life wasn’t enough sometimes. He knew she felt like she’d traded a life for a career—one she was now losing. He knew how important it was for her to feel whole and satisfied. He just knew her.

He did his best to focus on whatever person was standing in front of him as his mind and his eyes continuously drifted to her. It was a struggle to speak to people and shake hands at the same time, especially with her trampling on peoples’ toes with her crutches and apologizing profusely to one person after another in the crowded vestibule of the church. He’d decided she wasn’t going to be mastering this crutch thing anytime soon.

When she finally stepped in front of him, he took both of her hands in his, and he watched her. He knew his steady unwavering expression was throwing her off. He was good at this expression, and on this day, it was just all his facial muscles could handle.

“Are you upset I’m here?” Her voice was quiet, and she glanced to her side as the next person in line waited.

He tried to smile, but it left his eyes feeling warm again, and he glanced down at the floor between them. “No.” He paused as he looked back up to her eyes. “And yes.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, and then he forced himself to release her hands. “I’ll find you in a little while.”

She nodded, and she moved on, crutching her way through the hallway that led to the fellowship hall and luncheon. The luncheon was immediately following the service, and the interment was something he’d be doing alone at a later date. When he pulled his eyes back from their focus on her as she moved down the hallway, he plastered a small smile on his lips as he reached for the next hand to shake.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

It was nearly thirty minutes before Jasper entered the large room where there was a spread of food being laid out by more blue haired women than Gray had ever seen in one room. She was sitting alone at one of the large round tables, and when his eyes finally settled on her, his lips pursed, and he motioned her over to him as he stood by the door.

He didn’t say a word to her when she reached him, but he held the door open for her, and she followed him back up the hallway to the main entrance door. As they exited into the warm late summer air, it was to a deserted large concrete landing and wide expansive steps that led down to the sidewalk. He stepped down the first step and turned back to her.

He took her crutches from her, resting them on the wide concrete stair rail next to them as she held onto his shoulders. He clasped her waist in his hands and squeezed.

“I’m sorry, Jasper.”

He shook his head, and he gave her a small smile, but as his lips pulled up subtly, his eyes glossed over. He pulled her body into his, lowering his head to her shoulder and nuzzling against her neck. His breathing lurched and his tears touched her skin. She clasped the back of his neck with one hand as her other stroked his upper back.

The door being pulled open behind her interrupted them, and he pulled back from her as she whipped her head around.

The minister was standing there. “We’re getting ready to say the grace—”

“Can you just go ahead without us?” Jasper tried.

The minister looked at him nearly stunned for a moment. “Well… We really shouldn’t—”

Jas sighed in completely unveiled frustration, but then he looked at her as she returned her focus to him, and he took a deep breath. When his eyes shifted back to the minister, he smiled. “Give us a minute please. We’ll be in.”

He waited for the minister to return inside, and then he turned his attention back to her once more. “Now tell me how exactly you managed to get yourself here in one piece.”

She laughed quietly. “I might have accidently beat an old woman with my crutch at airport security.”

He chuckled.

“And don’t get me started on how much people can hate you for taking longer than the allotted time to get down the aisle on an airplane.” She smiled.

He leaned to her. But he stopped short of kissing her on the lips, and as he studied her eyes for a moment, he took a deep breath, and he leaned to her cheek instead, kissing her gently.

“Come on. Since you decided to make the trip, you’ve signed yourself up for the same torture as me.” He grabbed her crutches, and then she followed him back inside, down the hallway and into the fellowship hall.

* * * *

Jasper and Gray left an hour and a half later, and she could literally see the tension draining from his body as they walked out to his car. She’d stashed her bag in the small coat room near the entrance, and he’d grabbed it on their way out, dropping it in the trunk of his car.

She was silent as they drove, and when he pulled up to a security gate, she glanced at him. She knew his grandmother was a wealthy woman, but this kind of wealthy she’d not been expecting. As he drove up the long driveway, she was craning her neck under the sun visor so she could see it all. He glanced at her, actually smiling, and she smiled at him too. But then her focus shifted back to the house, and she froze. A man was sitting on the porch steps. She reached over, gripping his forearm.

He glanced toward the house. “Fuck,” he muttered the second his focus shifted to the front porch where the man was sitting.

The man had a bottle of vodka in his hand, and the front door was standing wide open, practically torn from its hinges.

Jasper snatched up his cell phone, making a quick call. “Guess who’s here?” He was silent for a moment. “Yeah. Apparently the man can scale fences drunk,” he muttered.

She had no idea who he was talking too, but just before he hung up, he commented again.

“See you soon, Officer.”

He hung up as he threw the car into park, climbing out quickly. Gray followed him, but as he glanced over the roof of his car to see her climbing out, he glared at her. “Damn it, Gray. Wait in the car.”

She balked at him. She sure as hell wasn’t going to sit in the car, but before she could say as much, the man stood. It was his father. She was certain of that given his oddly similar appearance to Jas and the fact that he’d walked near Jas at the church.

The man laughed as he awkwardly pushed himself up to stand. He was clearly drunk. “What’s this sweet little piece of ass doing here?” He eyed Gray lasciviously, if not seductively.

She sneered at him.

“She’s a tiny little bitch, ain’t she?” His dad’s focus shifted back to Jasper.

“Shut the fuck up,” Jasper barked.

When his dad’s attention returned to Gray, she cringed.

“My son’s a little too worthless for you. You should know that.” He started staggering toward her.

Her eyes narrowed, and she gritted her teeth, her lips twitching as she sneered at him. She must look ravenous, and she felt a hiss in the back of her throat—a hiss that made her want to strike out at the cruel man. He looked frightening, but she’d be damned if she didn’t still want to beat the shit out of him. But, when she cocked her head to the side and took a step forward, Jasper stepped in front of her.

“Gray,” he warned her, reaching back and resting his hand on her hip.

“His mother never even wanted him. Can’t say I did either.” His dad laughed again, taking a big swig from the bottle.

Her fingers reached back up under his suit jacket, and she gripped his waist. Whatever his father said it was going to break her heart for Jasper. She knew that, and she didn’t really trust herself not to beat the man with her crutch. She wasn’t prone to violence, but she knew enough about Jasper’s life to know this man had wreaked havoc on it and deserved a good come to Jesus ass kicking—not that she was likely the most capable person to deliver such a thing.

“Should have just aborted the fucker. We were going to give him up for adoption before we even left the fuckin’ hospital. Hell, didn’t even know if he was gonna come out right. I mean, his mom was one worthless fucking slut, and the shit that bitch pumped into her body while she was knocked up… Coulda killed a fucking horse.”

“Shut up,” Jasper seethed, his fingers curling against Gray’s hip his other balled into a tight fist at his side.

“Social workers were there and everything, but his grandma begged. Shoulda seen her, sobbing and groveling with us.” He laughed again as he stumbled and fell.

Jasper’s whole body tremored under her fingers, and she stepped closer to the back of his body, squeezing his waist gently again.

His father just kept laughing as he clumsily stood from the ground. “She paid us to keep him. Can you believe that?” His dad held the bottle up toward Gray as she peered around his shoulder. “She wanted us to give him to her! Ha! Fucking cunt,” he muttered as he collapsed back to the step.

Jasper inhaled deeply, but it shuddered in his chest as he exhaled.

“We took her fucking money and kept the little shit. Regretted that decision ever since. Should have just left him with her—useless piece of shit.” He stood again, stumbling toward them as he drunkenly cocked his head toward Gray. “Tellin’ ya, little girl. He ain’t worth your time. Only person that ever gave a shit about him was his gran. Bitch didn’t give a shit about me, but this fucking loser…”

And that’s when Jasper snapped. He didn’t have to lunge far to connect his fist to his dad’s face, and as he hit, his dad’s face snapped sideways and she gasped, watching the man spin toward the step and fall to his knees.

“Oh, God,” Gray whispered from behind him, and she tried to move toward him.

“Stay back,” Jasper snapped at her.

A police cruiser pulled up moments later as his dad mumbled and cursed, but he wasn’t moving very fast, and when Jas turned to face Gray, he just stared at her as she looked back. She couldn’t tell if he was upset at her or not.

“This is why you shouldn’t have come here,” he muttered, his face expressionless and cold.

She gaped at him, shocked at the shift in him. “Jas, I just wanted to—”

“Bradley,” he cut her off dismissively as he shifted his focus to the policeman walking up behind her.

“Huh,” the officer commented wryly as he reached them. “Now, did he pass out like this or did he have some help?”

Jasper shrugged, saying nothing. Gray just watched them. It was clear they knew one another, and as the officer looked at her, he smiled.

“I’m guessing you’re not a trespasser, right?” He toyed with her in a casual tone.

“I can’t say I’m sure,” she replied a little passively.

Jas turned to her and stared some more before he shook his head. He was irritated at her.

“Breaking and Entering this time around. He’s graduating from the petty stuff, isn’t he? This’ll keep him in a little longer.” The officer hoisted Jasper’s father off the stairs as his dad groaned, and after he’d been handcuffed, he was led away to the squad car where he was patted down quickly. The officer shoved Jasper’s dad in the back of the car, and then he sat in the driver’s seat talking on his radio for a minute. She watched Jasper that entire time, and he ignored her completely.

“Okay,” the officer said as he approached them again. “Sending someone to process the scene—take some selfies with the door damage, sprinkle their pixie dust around to check for prints. It’s probably overkill given he was on scene and we’ve already hauled him off the property a couple times, but no sense not being thorough. Am I right, or am I right?” The man had an interesting personality if nothing else. “Don’t think we’ve been properly introduced, and since Mr. Drees here is being his usual cool-cat self, I guess I’ll introduce myself. Officer Bradley, and you are?” He held his hand out to her.

“I’m Gracelynn Ellis. It’s good to meet you.” She shook his hand, smiling politely.

Officer Bradley turned his attention to Jasper again. “Didn’t know you had a girlfriend. Make a cute couple. She’s a hell of lot prettier than you though.”

Jas actually managed a subtle smirk at that. “She’s not my girlfriend. But I do have her.” His tone was bitter and sarcastic.

Officer Bradley’s brow wrinkled in confusion.

Jas shook his head, but it wasn’t amusement. “Don’t worry. I had permission. That is until last night,” he muttered as he leveled his eyes on her.

She tried to swallow as her heart hammered.

“Now we have rules again, don’t we Gray?” His tone was taunting, but he turned his attention back to Officer Bradley. “We share a love of dancing. She’s an incredible dancer. The best ever.”

Officer Bradley nodded. “Well, maybe you should make her your girlfriend, seeing as you like dancing so much with the gal. Never took you for a dancer, though, Drees. Gotta say.”

Neither of them said a word. Jasper’s jaw was clenched tight, and she stared at the ground, still pathetically trying to swallow her guilt. He was obviously well aware Ian was home. And that meant he was also well aware that Ian didn’t know she was there. And the most glaring part of this scenario? He’d obviously decided he was going to be pissed about it.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Gray sat out by the pool on a lounger while Jasper waited inside for the crime scene guys to finish up. Bradley had called shortly before from the station. They’d found two rather expensive pieces of jewelry on him when he’d been searched. Both, without doubt, had belonged to G, and he had taken them, also without doubt, to pawn. It was getting better and better as far as Jasper was concerned. The more his dad fucked up, the less he’d have to deal with him.

But he was also humiliated. The woman sitting out on the lounger had found out things about him that even he wasn’t aware of. And finding out in that way wasn’t exactly what any logical person in their right mind would wish for. For some reason, he was pissed at her because she’d put herself in the position to be there to witness the whole thing—a thing he’d have preferred to witness on his own in order to save his dignity. He paced in the kitchen as the men took pictures of the front door.

He kept glancing out to her, fidgeting nervously and growling in frustration. There was so much bullshit floating through his mind right now, and those thoughts were so confusing. He’d not been prepared to see her in this world. This world was always haunting to him, and part of him didn’t like seeing her as part of it. But she was there for him, and that meant something important too.

He was both offended and egotistically justified at the same time at the fact that she’d chosen to come here to be with him, rather than staying home to see her boyfriend. He was offended because she was lying to Ian in order to be there. He’d rather she simply be there for him with no guilt about it. At the same time, he was egotistically justified because she wanted him more—plain and simple.

But, beyond his conflicted emotions, her presence meant even more than just that. She was his friend. Hell, she was oddly his closest friend in all the world, and he was terrified he was going to lose that when this … thing … imploded on them, and given his state, it wouldn’t take long. What had they expected? No good thing started this way. They’d treated sex as some casual game, and they were paying for the intensity of what had happened between them now. She might not be vocally acknowledging it any more than he was, but it didn’t really need to be said out loud at this point. She was there rather than home with her boyfriend, after all. Why was he so pissed at her?

The second the guys were gone, he jammed the door back into place, drove a few nails into it and the remaining frame to hold it closed until he could get it fixed, and then walked out to the patio. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as his gait slowed. He sat at her hip, and she smiled nervously up at him.

“When do you go back?” He stared at her lap as he waited for her to respond and tried to quiet the anger. He couldn’t even say he understood it.

“Tomorrow. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow afternoon.”

He nodded. “I’ll get you to the airport whenever you need.”

“When are you coming home?”

He shrugged. “I still have a lot to deal with here.” He was answering nothing.

She sat up, reaching for his cheek and running her palm along his skin. He leaned into it, sighing and trying to let go of the confusion and turmoil in his head. And when he turned his lips to her palm, he kissed. She took a quick deep breath. She had something to say. He could tell.

“You didn’t know, did you?” Her eyes studied his as he pulled back from her hand. “About your parents trying to give you up…”

He shook his head, looking away for a moment.

She nodded, clasping his hand in hers. “I imagine it’s hard to know what to think about that.”

“I’m not surprised,” he said quietly. “My parents—”

“No. I mean how to feel about your grandmother’s involvement.”

He chuckled at just how transparent he was to her, and more than that, at just what she was willing to say to him. She shied away from nothing real, relevant, and deep. She was incredibly strong in that way. And she was right. He didn’t have a clue how to feel about the fact that his grandmother had paid off his parents to keep them from giving him up for adoption. Adoption could have been a blessing to him. Instead, he’d endured years of hatred and cruelty from them before G had been able to get him back. But he had his G for it. And she’d been worth it. In some sense, he felt oddly deceived by her. He also felt incredibly loved.

“She must have been an amazing woman, and she obviously loved you very much. She wanted to protect you. You know that, right?”

He nodded, and then it was silent for a while as he studied her and held her hand. When he opened his mouth to speak, his heart pounded. He was going to ruin something that needed to be ruined. Or maybe he was just a worthless piece of shit like his dad suggested, and he was going to pull her down into his hell.

“Did you just come here to get laid?” he asked without inflection.

“Excuse me?” Her brow wrinkled.

“I talked to Ian this morning. You didn’t tell him you were coming. You lied to him.”

She looked down at her lap, and she gnawed on the inside of her lip. “I just wanted to be here.”

“That doesn’t require a lie.”

She said nothing for a moment, her guilt obvious in her expression.

“You’re cheating on your boyfriend with me,” he said bluntly.

“And here I thought we had permission,” she said defensively.

“Sure. To fuck, but I think we both know that’s hardly what we’re doing any more.”

She stared at him, her eyes wide, but her focus faltered, and she looked back at her lap again quickly.

“I said it was going to get complicated.” He nodded his head. “And it sure as fuck has.”

She looked confused, guilty, defeated even, but she said nothing as she processed his words.

“And now I feel like I’m going to lose my best friend because of this.”

“Ian won’t—”

“I meant you,” he said calmly. He wasn’t at all calm in truth.

Her eyes filled with tears then, and her lips trembled.

He took a deep breath. “Listen, I’m not in a great mood right now.” He shook his head. That was the understatement of the century. “I am glad you’re here, and at the same time, I’m also angry you came.” He shrugged. “My dad tends to bring out the ugly side of me. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said quietly.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” But he had.

He leaned to her forehead, kissing her gently, and when he pulled back, she watched him. She seemed suspicious—as though she thought he might break down at any moment. Maybe she was right. There was a limit to everything, and he knew he was dangerously close to his.

Chapter Thirty

By the time Gray came inside Jasper was gone. He’d left a note on the kitchen counter saying he’d gone for a walk, and after waiting for him to come back for hours, she finally went to bed. She had no idea where she should sleep, or if she was even supposed to sleep there, but there was only one bedroom on the first level that she’d found, and she shoved her bag into it, changed out of her dress and into a tank top, and she turned the lights out.

She was confused. He was off—very off right now—and she didn’t know what any of it meant. She couldn’t say she was surprised. Just enduring five minutes of his father’s hatred had left her reeling. She’d never in her life seen such cruelty from a person, much less a parent, and he’d been subjected to that since he was child. A child. How could any child emotionally survive hearing such ugly things? Perhaps she was naïve, and she didn’t doubt in the least that she was, but she was shocked.

She’d literally watched this shift happen in front of her eyes. He’d been fine—devastated, heartbroken and sad, of course, but fine—before his father entered the picture. And in one fell swoop, that man had left him broken. He may look little different than he always did, but she could see it. And there had been nothing Gray could do to stop the spiral.

She was alone in a home she didn’t know, far away from her own place in the world, and the man she’d come to see had run away for the past many hours. She’d only wanted to help him by coming. But she wasn’t sure that was even possible anymore.

When she fell asleep it was dark out, and he was still gone.

* * * *

Gray woke to warmth along her spine, and the quiet rustling of the bedding. She was lying on her stomach, and she could feel Jasper’s warm lips kissing and sucking along her lower back, just above her underwear line. She held her eyes tightly closed, trying to decide if she was really awake or if she was just dreaming.

It could be a dream. It must be, because the last time she saw him, he wasn’t in this frame of mind. He slipped her underwear over her bottom, and as he slowly pulled them down, his lips followed, sucking and kissing along her buttocks. She murmured against the sheets, letting the soft fabric brush her lips as she nuzzled into them. This was surely a dream. It felt too good to be her life right now.

He left her underwear around her thighs, and as his mouth moved and licked her cheeks, his hands gripped her hips, his fingers covering her hipbones. There was a sudden jolt as he snapped her hips back, thrusting her bottom up, and she gasped. But the shock of his aggressive touch was dwarfed when there was suddenly warmth between the lips of her sex.

His tongue pushed between her lips, and his facial hair tickled against her skin. He held her hips in place, pushing her butt high and forcing the lips of her sex to stay where he needed them to be for his tongue to delve and lap at her from behind. His tongue ran along and over her cleft, and she listened to the sound his mouth made against her skin. She loved that sound. It was so exceptionally arousing, and every place his tongue licked and laved, prickled with warmth. He hummed deeply as her body aroused and her own wetness intensified.

She moaned, her fingers clutching at the sheets as her body tingled, and her brain tried to wake up. But then he abandoned her. His hands released their strong grip on her hips, and his mouth was suddenly gone. He crawled up her body, weighting her down in the pitch darkness of the room, and then he filled her on a deep and harsh thrust that sank him to her core.

Pain pierced like a knife through her groin. This was definitely not a dream, and as her thighs trembled, she whimpered at the ache that seared through her. His legs were outside hers, pinning hers in place as he withdrew. The narrow set of her thighs left her vagina feeling too small to accommodate him, but he thrust hard again, sliding tightly through her wetness.

His lips were at her ear, and he said nothing at all. His breaths were lurching and halting as his hips started snapping against her bottom, and she cried out. She was pinned to the bed, and when he rested his hand next to her, he ran his fingers over her face, and she moaned softly against his palm. It was the only gentle part of his body at the moment.

His hips continued to smack into her bottom, and the penetrations were swift and invasive. He pulled completely from her each and every time, slamming back into her body as she held herself still. He grunted against her ear, and suddenly the gentle palm against her lips moved up. His fingers wound through the hair at the crown of her head as the heel of his palm rested against her forehead. He was twisting his fingers in her hair, pinning her face to the bed as much as his weight pinned her body, and his legs held hers in place.

It was the most consuming position any man had ever had her in. There wasn’t even an ounce of control in her possession, and it sent a trill of fear and absolute freedom through her body all at the same time. She didn’t have to try to do anything—not to him, not to herself. It was all completely and totally out of her hands, and all she had to do was close her eyes and feel. Feel every deep invasion, the searing tight heat that scorched in and out as his hips moved. Feel the weight of him pressing against every inch of her body. Feel the slowly twisting strands of hair in his grip. Feel the warm breath that shuddered against her ear.

His free hand roughly pushed under her body and found her sex. But he didn’t toy, he didn’t even really touch her with his fingers at all. Instead, he let her feel exactly what his harsh penetrations could force her body to do to herself. Every thrust rocked her hips, and her sex pressed against his palm that was held snug to her slit by the weight of their bodies.

Her wetness was seeping from her, and she could hear it smacking against his hand as her hips moved. His hips sped, and hers did too, every stroke across his hand bringing her closer. But it wasn’t on her terms. It wasn’t going to happen until he made it happen, and she closed her eyes, resting her forehead to the sheets, breathing against them and feeling her own warmth as it heated the fabric against her lips.

It was silent aside from their panting breaths, the sloppy wet sound of their sexes meeting and parting over and over, and his quiet grunts as he sank himself into her again and again. And when that mesmerizing, aggressive fucking finally put her over the edge, she cried out, reaching back and gripping into the back of his thigh, her nails digging into his skin.

His thighs pumped, and her hands gripped his tight muscles as they contracted and released. She whimpered through her release as his legs kept driving himself harshly into her until he finally stilled on a deep thrust. His grunt was low, and she knew it was emanated through gritted teeth as he came inside her. His fingers finally loosened on her hair, and he sighed. Her grip on the back of his thigh was still tight, and as she released her nails from his skin, he hissed.

He moved to the side of her, releasing her body from the weight of him, and he pulled her back to his chest as she rolled to her side. She stared into the darkness around them, and she tried to figure out if she should say something. But he didn’t seem interested in talking as his lips started moving against the back of her neck, and she sighed.

He kissed down her back as his body descended, and when he reached her bottom, he pulled her top hip toward him, rolling her to her back as he pushed her top thigh back and moved between her legs. He licked, and he soothed her swollen and sore skin, and he dipped his tongue into her body as she moaned quietly.

His fingers splayed out over her lower belly, massaging that soft flesh as his lips kissed her clit and then licked that hardened peak of nerves. She gripped the top of his hand that was on her stomach, and she started gasping for air as her body started to tremor and close in on her release again.

She hit her peak for the second time in such a short while, and as she passed over, every nerve in her body danced and vibrated, leaving her trembling from head to foot, her teeth chattering, and her breath still as she struggled to inhale.

He sat up between her legs, and his hand rubbed her stomach. He liked that spot on her body. She couldn’t say she understood why, but his palm rested there for a minute. He took a shuddering breath, and then he stood and left the room.

Her eyes got heavy and tired quickly, but she waited as long as she could to see if he intended to come back. When she fell asleep again, she was still alone.

Chapter Thirty-One

“Hi,” Gray said hesitantly as she moved toward Jasper.

He glanced up to her from the lounger. He hadn’t closed his eyes all night, and he was still sitting there naked, staring off at the bluff beyond the property. “Hi.”

She sat at his hip, glancing down at his naked lap and blushing. She was not nearly so naked. She’d bathed, and her hair was wet, pulled up in a messy knot on top of her head. She smelled clean and fresh, and she was dressed in a pair of cuffed khaki shorts, and a white tank top.

“Did I hurt you?” He could hear the coldness in his tone, but he couldn’t control much of anything at the moment, least of all his voice.

She shook her head.

“I had some blood on me.” He watched her closely as her cheeks reddened.

“I’m sure I’m just getting ready to start my per—”

“Don’t lie to me. I already know you don’t have one.”

Her lips parted, and she glanced down.

“I was too rough. I’m sorry. But I don’t need you lying to try to make me feel better.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay—”

“It’s not fucking okay, Gray,” he snapped.

She stared at him, her eyes wide and shocked.

His emotions were a jumble of disjointed things all mashed together, but the underlying tone of it all was the insidious self-hatred his father always managed to instill in him. And her blood on his cock was making that self-hatred all the easier to latch onto.

“Are you happy?” he asked her, glancing to her eyes quickly but then looking away for a moment.

She swallowed harshly, but she eventually shook her head, her eyes filling with tears.

He nodded, his eyes filling with tears too. “I don’t believe for one second that you can deal with what’s happening between us and not end up regretting your actions. And I don’t want to be the reason you stay in this thing and end up feeling guilty or ashamed of what you’ve done—of what we’ve done.” He looked away, brushing a tear from his cheek as hers started to fall.

“I’m going to break up with him—” she tried as her breath hitched.

“Good.” The relief was swift, but that wasn’t the point. “He’s not good for you. But that has nothing to do with me. You know I’m not built for this, so what do you want from me?” His father’s damage was pouring out of him. It was odd that he could see it so clearly but couldn’t stop it. “You wanna watch me destroy us?” He shook his head. “I told you last night I felt like I was losing my best friend. That’s how much you mean to me. You really think I’d jeopardize your happiness, so I can stick my dick in you? I may not be much, but I’m a better man than that.”

“Why are you doing this?” she practically sobbed out the question.

His lips trembled as his nostrils flared. He could barely see through the tears that clouded his vision. “Because it’s the right thing to do.” He closed his eyes, pushing on them with the heels of his palms. “It hurts,” he gritted his teeth as he forced the words out. “It hurts to want something so much and know you’ll destroy it. I can’t…” he shook his head again, groaning in pain as he pushed himself up to stand.

She covered her eyes, crying into her hands as he looked down at her, and the pain felt like a hand was in his guts, twisting them into knots. His tears fell too, and he walked away from her, listening to her cry as he re-entered the house. All he wanted to do was go back to her, but he was going to hurt her instead. He was going to hurt her now, because he couldn’t stand the idea of hurting her later, and he fully understood that he would.

It just had to end.

He stood in the shower in his bedroom, letting the heat scorch his skin, and he stayed there until his head felt woozy from the suffocating steam. When he stood at the bathroom counter, he stared at himself. He was staring at his father. He hated that he looked anything like the man. The reflection that stared back at him was hard to look at.

He heard a door close downstairs, and he walked quickly to the window in his bedroom that looked out over the front circle drive. There was a cab in the driveway, and as she suddenly emerged from the open garage, the cabbie was by her side, carrying her bag for her.

His breath started hitching, he was panicking, his chest tight as the desperation clenched around his heart. His fingers gripped the window ledge, and he panted as he tried to catch his breath. He was losing everything. He was throwing everything away. His lips trembled as his emotions unraveled, and as the cab driver closed the door after her, he fell to his knees, his hands still gripping the window ledge.

He groaned this ugly and pained sound as his chest shook and his tears streamed. He stayed crumpled on the floor for a good ten minutes after she left, and when he pulled himself up, his eyes were puffy, his brain felt dull, and he was exhausted. He walked to the bathroom, the sudden sight of his father staring back at him again in the mirror inciting a swift surge of rage through him. He hurled the nearest object, a heavy marble soap holder, directly at the mirror, watching it shatter and fall to the countertop. And then he staggered back a few steps, sinking to the floor.

He stared at the cupboard in front of him, panting as he sat there in a stupor. It was an hour before he moved, and he stumbled downstairs to the room she’d slept in the night before.

She’d made the bed, and the room suddenly felt so exceptionally empty—much like the house around him. There was a piece of paper on the bed, and his heart pounded in his chest as he picked it up and sank to the side of the mattress.

Jas,

I hope you know I’ll always be here for you. But I also hope you understand that you’re the one who pushed me away this time. It’s your pain that shut me out. You should know, I will always be your friend if you need and want me to be. But I have to leave now because you’re absolutely right. There is so much more between us than that and, sadly, it’s going to end up hurting me if I stay.

Love,

Gray

He collapsed back to her bed, staring at the paper in his hand. He rolled to his side, and he let his thumb run over the word. Love. It sent a shiver through his body as he looked at the word. It was a common closing. It likely meant nothing to someone like her to use it in a letter to her friend.

He closed his eyes, still holding the letter in his hand. An estate sale agent was coming later that day, but he didn’t give a shit. He just needed to sleep. And as his brain started to shut down, he gave up forcing her from his mind. He smiled slightly as he saw her face, and he pretended it was real, and more than that, he pretended he’d not just destroyed it.

“I love you, Gray,” he murmured just before he fell asleep.

Chapter Thirty-Two

“Gray,” Ian’s voice hollered to her as she pushed herself up from where she’d collapsed on the bed. “Gray? Baby?”

Her face scrunched up, and she groaned silently as she started toward him. “Hey,” she said casually as she panicked on the inside.

She’d only gotten home from the doctor’s office a couple hours before, and she’d instantly fallen asleep. She’d been in a stupor since climbing into the cab that morning at Jasper’s. She couldn’t even say she recalled the better portion of her trip home, and she took a cab straight to the doctor’s office from the airport when she landed. They’d fitted her with a walking boot, and she sat numbly through the appointment until they cut her loose. Her first physical therapy session would be on Monday. She didn’t care.

“There’s my girl.” Ian smiled as he waltzed over to her, scooping her up in his arms as she squealed. Her crutches clanked to the ground, and his lips instantly covered hers, his tongue thrusting into her mouth. She was still squealing, the sound muffled by his tongue.

He walked toward her bed, never separating from her lips, and when his body came down on top of hers as he laid her on the bed, she squirmed.

“No, Ian, I—”

He groaned loudly as he reached down, pushing his hand under the waistband of her underwear. She tried to close her legs, but his body was between them, and as she pushed at his chest, he sank two fingers into her vagina. She wasn’t the least bit aroused, and it hurt as his abrasive dry fingers scraped along her sensitive skin.

“No! Please—”

But then his lips quieted her again, and his tongue invaded her mouth once more. She pushed at him, squirming her body underneath his. She planted her heel on the bed and pushed as pain seared through her foot and up her calf. Her eyes instantly teared, but her cries were muffled.

His fingers thrust, oblivious to her pain, her fear, her outright disgust at what was happening, and it wasn’t until he’d stopped assaulting her mouth that she was finally able to put a stop to it.

“Stop!” she yelled as she planted her palms on his chest and shoved as hard as she could. He glared at her as he pulled back, and when he yanked his hand from her body, the friction burned between her legs, and she cried out.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he snarled as he stood from the bed.

She panted, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around herself. “I can’t…” she gasped out. “I… I’m sorry. I just…”

He was glaring at her, and she stared at the floor at his feet rather than let that glare intimidate her.

“I don’t want to see you anymore. I want to break up.” She glanced up at him. “I’m sorry.”

He stared at her for a moment, but then he actually smirked. “I see. And does this have something to do with my best friend by any chance? Have you developed an infatuation with my rough native looking buddy?” He laughed at her mockingly. “You wouldn’t be the first woman to make that mistake.” He watched her for a moment as she tried to get her mouth to cooperate, but she was intimidated. This wasn’t a good position to be in. She was trapped on the bed, her crutches by the door, and him looming over her. “Answer me!” he suddenly barked.

She jumped and gasped, gaping at him. “Things have gotten … confusing with him, but it’s not… That’s not why I want to break up.” She stared at Ian’s chest, swallowing painfully.

“And does he know you’re confused?” He mockingly used his finger quotes on the last word.

She shrugged, looking away.

“Does he know you’re dumping me because of it?”

“No.” But as she looked back up to his eyes it was a cool smirk she saw.

“Do you really think he’d be interested in someone like you?” The smug look on his face hurt. “You’re not even that pretty.” He smiled tauntingly. “Funny thing about men, though. They’ll fuck just about anything you give them permission to fuck.” He laughed in amusement, and he shrugged. “It’s just what we do, babe. Odd you thought you were something more special than a hole for him to stick his cock in.”

She was trying to hold her ground with nothing more than eye contact, but as he watched her with that calm and amused expression her resolve faltered. She was just a kid again, letting a man tell her what her worth was—too powerless to stop it.

He laughed. “Take me for instance. I’ve been fucking our cost accountant for the past month.” He bobbled his head from side to side as though he were considering something. “I guess I didn’t technically have your permission to do that, but hey, you were fucking my best friend.” He smiled. It was a cruel smile. “He has done a good job of keeping you out of my hair though…” His very tone was a slap in the face. He smirked as he glared down at her, his hands on his hips.

When he started casually moving around her bedroom, touching her belongings and trailing his fingers over her stuff, she held her breath.

“Now my cute little accountant… Jasper would like her.” He picked up a picture of her and her parents that sat on her dresser, and he studied it. He laughed and turned toward her, still holding the picture in his hand. “Me, Jas, and my sweet fucking accountant, that will be fun.”

He tossed the framed picture on her bed casually as he strolled around some more.

“Get out.” She tried to keep her voice assertive and firm.

He eyed her coldly. “I’ve been having all sorts of fun with her. Now she is Jasper’s type. Lanky fucking legs, long blonde hair, more than a handful of tit. I’m going to enjoy sharing her with Jas.” He walked up to the bed, and as he leaned down to her, she recoiled and leaned back. “You’re not in the same league, babe.” He shook his head with the most insincere feigned look of sympathy on his face.

Her eyes were hot with impending tears, and she wanted her crutch if for no other reason than to beat his fucking head in with it. “Fuck you,” she seethed.

But he just laughed again as he stood back up. “Hey, I tried to fuck you. Could have been your farewell fuck.” He shrugged, turning and walking away, but before he reached her door, he glanced back, chuckling and shaking his head. “You’re nothing but an ignorant fucking child. Consider yourself replaced.” He walked out without another word.

Gray sat in stunned silence, trying to force the pain of his words from her mind. She cried, feeling as pathetic and stupid as Ian had implied she was as she crawled to her crutches, and then she sat there, letting her rage build for a while. She slammed her crutch against the hard floor with a loud grunt, and by the time she’d stood and hobbled back to her bed, she was in a stupor.

She woke her phone up, intending to call Anna, but Jasper’s contact information was there at the top of her list. All she needed to do was hit send to connect to him. Instead, she turned her phone off, and she curled up on her side, forcing her eyes to close and fighting against the insidious thoughts Ian had planted in her mind.

She fell asleep imagining Jasper with a blonde faceless beauty. She groaned in her half sleep as she clutched at her stomach. He was fucking, moaning, touching, and coming. And Ian was there too, watching with a smirk on his face. She whimpered, and then she pulled the blankets tight around her, finally letting sleep take her.

Chapter Thirty-Three

“Hi.” Jasper answered the phone when Ian called. His heart was hammering in his chest even as he forced the casual greeting from his mouth. It was Saturday morning, and he was little more conscious on this day than he’d been the day prior, but he’d at least survived the day. That was all he could say. He’d done it going a bit crazy and destroying his relationship with Gray, but it was at least over.

“Hey,” Ian responded. “What’s up?”

“Not much. Trying to get G’s house in order. The estate sale agent came yesterday and toured the house.”

“So does that mean you decided to sell Granny’s house?”

“Not necessarily. She’s got more stuff than I know what to do with, and with no family to take it, I need to move it.” He couldn’t seem to sound anything but annoyed.

“You’re her family.”

“Yeah, and if I liked Dutch lace, doilies, Victorian era furniture, and paintings of cocker spaniels, I’d be in luck. But I don’t, and G wouldn’t care in the least.” He sighed. “Anyway, the agent has given me a list of things to accomplish over the weekend. But she’s got a good reputation, so … I guess I have to do her homework.”

“She, huh? Is she hot?”

He shook his head, his jaw clenching tight. “I suppose. If you like the type.”

“What type?”

He froze. His type. “Forget I said it. What do you need?” He didn’t sound very friendly at all.

“Nothing. Just calling. I was tied up all last night with Gray, but I wanted to check in—see how you were doing.”

He cleared his throat. “You saw Gray?” He tried to keep his tone casual.

“Yeah,” Ian said as though he were confused by the question. “Hadn’t seen her since getting back into town.” He chuckled. “Talk about an overzealous fuck. I fucked her mouth, her pussy, and her ass all before coming. She couldn’t get enough.” His voice was casual as he laughed. “She can be quite passionate, you know?” He chuckled again. “Of course you know. Apparently, she missed me.”

Jasper had to hold the phone away from his head for a moment as he struggled to breathe. His entire body started trembling and vibrating, and his hand was clamped down so hard on his phone his knuckles were turning white.

“You okay, dude,” came Ian’s voice from the phone.

He cleared his throat again as he lifted the phone back to his ear. “Yeah. Just tired.” He could barely get the words out.

“Well, I better go. Tell your dad I said hi.” There was something cool about his voice, but then, it was Ian.

Jasper was still fighting for every breath he took, and he opened his mouth, wanting to scream but gritting his teeth in desperate need for an outlet. “You’re not good for her.” It popped out, his words the only outlet he had for the fire burning inside him.

“No, certainly not,” Ian scoffed. “But she wasn’t complaining last night.” He laughed. “Are you jealous?” Ian asked with amusement.

Jasper took a deep breath, his eyes glossing over. “You know, I always knew I was a piece of shit—a real fucking asshole.” He said quietly.

Ian chuckled. “Oh, well. We can’t all be—”

“But you know what else?” Jasper interrupted him quickly. “You were always there to convince me I was right.”

Ian hummed, but it sounded bitter. “Are you trying to make a point, friend?”

“Don’t hurt her.” He shook his head. “Please,” he pleaded with the man he’d far rather be punching.

Ian laughed. “Me? Now what on earth could you mean?” He said mockingly. “Listen, dude, I gotta go. Talk later.” And then Ian hung up on him.

Jasper stood and stalked inside. He paced around the large kitchen, pausing to grip the edge of the sink and staring down into it. Images of Ian fucking her brains out stabbed his conscious, and he groaned loudly. It wasn’t hard to imagine what it would look like. He’d watched the man fuck her before. It had aroused the hell out of him that night to see her getting fucked. Now it made him want to vomit, and it made him want to beat the shit out of his best friend.

But what right did he have to be upset? No one made him fall for her, and certainly no one made him push her away. He’d done this to himself.

When his phone rang, his heart leapt for a moment. He glanced at it almost desperate to see Gray’s number but fearing it more than anything else. It was the estate agent. He was needed for some paperwork. He barely made it through the phone call with Jane as she asked him to come into her office to finalize the contracts. All Jasper could think about was how much he wanted to crawl into a hole. His life was falling apart, and he hadn’t felt this level of helplessness for more years than he could recall.

He jumped in the shower, and then he left the house, and as he sat numbly through the meeting with Jane, he tried to pay attention, but it was hopeless. He nodded when it was appropriate, he shook his head too, and a time or two he clearly shook when he should have nodded. The result was Jane eyeing him in confusion until Jasper figured out the right response and appeased her.

“You sure you’re okay?” she asked in her friendly tone. She was tanned and tall, and every time he made eye contact with her, she blushed and batted her eyelashes.

“I’m fine. Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind.”

“It can’t be easy losing someone you’re so close to.”

He forced a polite smile, and he nodded. But in truth it drove a glaring and painful point home. He had lost two someones he was close to. One to old age and one to his own fucking stupidity and self-loathing tendencies. “Is there anything else?” he asked rather distractedly.

“Oh,” she said in surprise and maybe a bit of offense. “I guess not. Unless, of course, you’d like to grab some lunch.” She looked at him hopefully.

“Not today.” He stood, walking toward the door.

“You sure? Everyone has to eat.” She was the confident type who expected to get her way. “We have plenty to discuss about advertising, timelines, and all that jazz. It really will be a business only lunch.” But her wink challenged that statement.

He looked around for a moment. “Uh… Okay. Sure. Just a quick bite.”

“Great.”

He took a deep breath. They decided on a nearby place, but when she suggested they drive together, he said no. He lied and said he had an errand to run, but in truth, he just didn’t want to be that close to her.

When he left her office, the light on his phone was blinking out that he had a message. He took a deep breath when he saw it was from Gray, and he didn’t even try to listen to it until he was sitting safely back in his car.

“Hi.” Her voice was quiet. “Can you call me? I really need to talk to you. Bye.” The insecurity in her voice was ominous. What could she possibly think she needed to say to him? Did she think she owed him an explanation for resuming her girlfriend duties with Ian? It was a fucking joke. He had absolutely no right to be upset. She’d done exactly what he’d pushed her into doing. He’d given her no reason to regard him as anything more than a prop in the end—her own private sex toy to use. He’d pushed her away, and she’d gone home to her boyfriend. It was his fucking fault. All of it.

He didn’t call her back immediately. He drove to the restaurant, trying to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do, and when he pulled into a parking spot, Jane was already climbing out of her car nearby. She smiled at him, and he climbed out. He sat across from her, trying again to pay attention to what she was talking about. He wasn’t trying to be rude; he was just in a different world than she was.

She asked about his grandmother, and he managed to stay in the here and now as he told her about his G. She smiled kindly. He was guessing she was very used to dealing with the families of lost loved ones, and his grief was likely not a new thing to her. But her expression was genuine, and while she didn’t have Gray’s ability to ask exceptionally loaded questions and still make him want to answer, she did listen attentively.

By the time their check was left at the table, he was more relaxed than he expected to be around her.

“I’d like to come by on Monday and start doing a more thorough inventory of items that will be included in the estate sale. I assume you can have everything you intend to keep boxed up and in the garage by then?”

“Yes. And that’s fine. I’ll be around on Monday.”

“Great. Once I get in there and can go through things a bit more thoroughly, I may need to call in some brokers to appropriately price some of the furnishings, artwork, and jewelry. I’d rather do my due diligence now than underprice something.”

“Sure. I appreciate that.”

She smiled. “So I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other over the next few weeks.”

He nodded, letting his eyes wander away. There was a time he’d have had her on her knees within a week of meeting her—if not less. Right now he felt too impotent to even be a man. So he nodded, his lips pursing uncomfortably. She was clearly trying to flirt, and he was clearly making it difficult. He walked her to her car and smiled politely as she turned to him.

“Would you like to go out for a drink sometime?”

He cringed inside, hiding it on the outside by clenching his jaw down tight. “I don’t think I’d make very good company right now.”

She smiled, not the least bit put off by his statement. “You know, in my line of work, I meet a lot of sad people.” Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. “But I think it’s more than losing your grandmother in your case.”

He stared at her. She was smiling easily at him, knowingly watching him for any sign of affirmation.

“Perhaps,” he commented.

She hummed. “I see. Let me guess. You just got out of a bad relationship, and you’re afraid to…” She bobbled her head as she considered it. “…jump into anything too soon, lest you get hurt again. Am I right?”

He chuckled, but it was mirthless. “Close…” He bobbled his own head then. “…if close means the polar opposite.”

She cocked her head as she waited. It was intrigue.

“I just ended an amazing relationship, and I’m terrified I’ll never find anything that compares to her. And more than that, that I don’t deserve anything that compares to her.” It was a brutal truth, and as he watched, her lips parted and her brow wrinkled. The truth could do that quickly sometimes.

He turned and walked away after he said a quick goodnight.

But her voice stopped him quickly. “Everyone deserves happiness,” she called after him.

He paused ten feet from her, turning slowly back. He studied her for a moment. “Yes, she does.”

And then he walked to his car and drove home. As he pulled up out front in the circle drive, he picked up his phone and he stared at it. He pulled up her contact information, and his body flushed at nothing more than the sight of her name. He hit send as waves of anxiety coursed through him. But it went straight to voice mail. He didn’t hang up.

“Hi.” He was silent for a moment. “I … umm… Fuck,” he muttered. “I’m not coming back to Austin. I need to be here right now, and… I’m just not sure how to be around you anymore.” He stared at his lap for a moment. “I want you to know I care very much for you, and I will never regret the time I spent with you. I have never liked myself as much in my life as I did when I was with you, and that makes you incredibly special to me.” He swallowed feeling his throat constrict. “You deserve so much more… I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I’ll see—” He couldn’t finish that sentence because it was a lie. “You’re going to be happy. And I’m going to be happy knowing you are. Goodbye, Gray-short-for-Gracelynn-but-never-Grace.”

He hung up, and then he let his forehead fall to the steering wheel of the car, and he cried. Silent tears ran down his cheeks, and he didn’t bother trying to stifle them. When he climbed from his car, he brushed the tears away, and he dialed another number as he walked up to his house. It was practically palatial, and he without doubt didn’t fit in here, but he supposed that wasn’t much different than the few years he’d lived here in his childhood. He’d survived it then. He was sure as hell going to survive it now.

“Hey, Seth. How are things going at the bar?”

“Cool. Busy, but we’re covered scheduling wise. I got this.”

“I know you do. So…” He wandered through the house to the expansive patio out back, and as he stood looking out over the open bluff beyond the property, he blew out a calming breath. “What would you say if I offered you a good price on a great little bar on Rainey Street, aptly named after my mood?”

Seth snorted for a moment, clearly assuming it was a joke. “What?”

“I’m not kidding. I’ll call a broker to set it up if you’re interested. I’ll sell it to you for what I paid for it.”

“Uh… then you’ll lose money. It’s worth more than that now.”

“I’ve made a small fortune off it. I promise I can handle the loss.”

“You’re serious?”

Jasper could hear the excitement setting in. “Yeah.”

“Oh, wow.”

Jasper listened to Seth for a good five minutes as he rambled on excitedly about his renovation plans for Graystone. He entertained his manager’s dreams and let him talk on for a while, feeling none of that same excitement in his own life anymore. And once Seth stopped talking, Jasper was relieved. Seth’s excitement wasn’t contagious. It was just a reminder of how far away from that chapter in his life he was.

“Hey, boss?

“Yeah?”

“Why? I mean, why are you giving it up?” Seth sounded baffled.

Jasper studied the horizon, and he nodded slowly. “I just need out.”

Chapter Thirty-Four

Anna listened to the message again as Gray poured the last of their bottle of wine into her glass. Anna’s face was scrunched up, and her lips pursed. When the message ended, she set the phone between them. It was Monday night, and Gray had listened to the damn message more than a few times since she’d stepped out of the shower to see she’d missed a call from Jasper on Saturday afternoon.

It was only her pride and absolute confusion that had kept her from calling him back. She fully expected she’d call him at some point, and she also fully expected it to happen after a bottle of wine. But she had her back-up with her on this night. Anna wouldn’t let her go down that path.

“I am calling that dick weed and talking some sense into his dense fucking brain.” Anna picked Gray’s phone up from the table between them.

“Wow,” Gray muttered as she snatched her phone back. “I’m counting on you being my voice of reason, and this is not Reasonable Anna I’m seeing right not. This is V for Vendetta Anna, and she scares me a little.”

Anna slumped in her seat. “I just don’t understand. That man is…”

“Damaged,” she offered.

“Crazy,” Anna finished. “I mean. I just thought he was stronger than this. You know?” Anna smiled at her sympathetically. “I get that he was distraught after his grandmother passed. I get that he was humiliated after the run in with Daddy. I even get that he pushed you away thinking he was shit and would hurt you. But this?” She held the phone up. “This I don’t get. He wouldn’t abandon you. He would fight past the bullshit. This is a man who endured and suffered growing up. He’s a survivor. And he’s addicted to you! He can’t stay away from you, so why is he running now?”

Gray shrugged. “You warned me,” she admitted. “I walked into this thinking I could handle it. What was I thinking?” She shook her head.

“Someone gave you the chance to experience something new. You took it. You chose adventure over monotony. We make these decisions sometimes.”

Gray nodded slowly. “I could tell it was bad when I left San Diego. I can’t say I expected this, but…” She shrugged again. “I just hate that he’s there alone. His father is a nightmare, and if Jasper has to deal with that on an ongoing basis, it’s going to destroy him. It would destroy anyone. Honestly, Anna, how do children survive this kind of emotional destruction?”

Anna watched her sadly. “You’ve had your heart broken, and you’re still more concerned about his emotional wellbeing… You’re a good girl, you know that?” Anna smiled at her kindly.

Gray’s eyes glossed over, but she smiled. “Maybe I’m just using my concern for him to mask my own hurt.”

Anna nodded. “That’s okay. You’re right, what you said. He’s endured a lot. I was wrong to judge him so harshly when I first met him.”

“You were just worried about me.”

She nodded. “Yes. It’s weird. I almost saw him as this thing back then. Not human, not emotional, but a…”

“Prop,” Gray offered.

Anna nodded sadly. “I thought he was using you. I thought he was taking advantage of you. It turns out, Ian was the one doing that.”

Gray nodded.

“And I think Jasper was actually just falling in love with you.”

Gray shook her head. “No,” she said assertively. “No.”

“Why is that so hard for you to admit?” Anna studied her calmly.

Gray’s eyes filled with tears again, and she shook her head even as her lips pulled up in a deranged smile. “I can’t let myself think that’s true.” Her voice broke, and Anna reached for her hand. “Because that just makes this all the more sad.” She brushed a tear from her cheek. “For both of us.”

“Maybe he’ll come around,” Anna suggested.

Gray shrugged. “Maybe.” One could hope.

* * * *

Gray started trying to call Jasper once a day on the very next day. But he didn’t come around. Not that week, and not the week after. She never left a message when she called, because she was afraid of what she’d say. She was afraid she’d beg. She was afraid she’d cry. She was afraid she’d lash out in anger. She was even just afraid to hear his voice on his voice mail message.

But she called. He’d see her number at least. After a week she gave up hope he’d be answering any of her calls, and she stopped making them. She pretended to move on with her life. She went to the season opener with her new walking boot on her foot, and Daniel held the seat next to him for her. She cried as the curtain fell after the last curtain call, and he reached over taking her hand. He was a kind man, but she suspected they both knew she wouldn’t be up on that stage again.

But she trusted she’d have a place with the company if she wanted it. Daniel had already offered her a teaching position in the academy, and she was mulling it over. It would be a while before she could even manage that. Physical therapy was quite a long process for this injury after all, and while she could now walk without her crutches, she was sore. She met with the therapist three days a week, and every step pulled and ached. She’d started swimming and doing yoga to keep her strength up. Both were modified to reduce the strain on her ankle and required a strong compression wrap to stabilize her tendon, but it gave her a way to release some endorphins.

Anna and she had decided to trade Sunday step aerobics with Sunday lap swimming—Gray primarily using only her upper body to breast stroke through the water, and Anna splashing around like an idiot. Gray even started laughing again—kind of. But after two weeks, her life fell apart again with one fated knock on her door.

“What are you doing here?” She sneered at Ian.

He held a cardboard box out in front on him.

“Your stuff, love.” He smiled almost kindly. “I’m guessing you don’t want me to keep it.” He stepped in, looking around casually as she stumbled to take a step back awkwardly.

“This isn’t a great time for me,” she said.

He looked at her smiling. “Listen, I’m sorry things didn’t work out for us. I’m also sorry I was so cruel when you ended things. I was hurt. But I also don’t want us on bad terms, Gray.”

She took a deep breath and nodded slightly. She hardly thought any of it mattered at this point.

“Dating anyone yet?”

“That’s none of your business.” She watched him calmly.

“Don’t be upset with me.” He held his hands up in placation. “You broke the rules, Gray. It’s not like it’s my fault. But even though you hurt me deeply,” he said with mock sadness. “I still want to know you’re happy.” The sincerity lacked a little something, but then … it was Ian; sincerity wasn’t really his thing. “Jas too for that matter. But he seems well. Dating the estate agent handling his dead grandma’s junk from what I hear.”

Her heart stilled in her chest, and she held her breath.

“Of course, in Jasper terms that means he’s fucking her. As you well know, he’s just not the relationship type.” He smiled at her, cocking his head to the side.

Her lips trembled, and she looked down at the ground to hide it.

“You aren’t still hung up on this are you?” He said concernedly.

She shook her head, refusing to look up.

“I’m sorry if he did anything to hurt you, Gray. I really am.”

“I really do have to go—” She glanced up quickly.

“Well, good to see you as always.” He winked, and then he smiled broadly as he left.

She closed the door, and as she leaned against it gasping, her chest started shuddering and her breaths lurched. It hurt. Every piece of her soul felt like it was being torn apart, and she groaned with gritted teeth as she sank to the floor.

Chapter Thirty-Five

“It’s not what I’d call a date, Ian,” Jasper muttered.

Ian had been goading him about this chick for nearly ten minutes, and it was wearing on him. He hated talking to Ian at this point, but oddly, he was compelled to pick up whenever he saw Ian’s name on the screen of his phone. It was as if he was this link to something he couldn’t have, and he was afraid to give up that link. He felt strangely close to Gray when he heard Ian’s voice.

It made no sense of course. He could call Gray anytime he wanted. She’d called him nearly every day the first week they were apart. She’d clearly wanted to talk to him, and he knew he could reach out to her now. He’d not seen her for nearly two weeks, and it felt like an eternity, but however much he missed her, he couldn’t do it.

He was being completely honest when he’d told her he didn’t know how to be around her anymore. He didn’t. He didn’t know how to hear her voice, how to see her, how to even think about her without slipping into despair. She’d never been his. Never. And even the thought of hearing her voice was torturous. He’d fall apart if he did, and so he abstained. He refused to torture himself with her out of self-preservation and nothing more.

But he couldn’t resist this. Ian’s voice. He could slip in a question about her. Off the cuff, casual, nothing more than a random comment. But it was enough. Actually, it wasn’t nearly enough, but it satisfied him in the same way a drop of water satisfied a man dying of thirst. It wasn’t enough, but he’d take it.

“How’s Gray doing? Her physical therapy going okay?” He held his breath, wanting to sound casual.

Ian was silent for a moment. “Yeah, sure. She’s fine,” he said aloofly. “Tell me more about the agent.”

And that was his drop. He closed his eyes, clasping his forehead in his hands and squeezing his temples. He forced himself to breathe silently as his head swam with images of her.

“You listening?” Ian sounded annoyed. “The agent?”

Jas shook his head to clear it. “She’s a friend. She’s interested, and I’m… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Since when do you need to know in order to stick your cock in something?”

Jasper gnashed his teeth together. “Fine. We hang out a lot. I wouldn’t call it dating at this point. I’m sure we’ll go out sometime. But I’m busy. This sale is happening in two weeks, and it’s… I’d rather not fuck the woman and risk screwing something up before this sale happens.”

Ian laughed. “Now that’s the Jasper I know, though you’re dragging your feet if you haven’t fucked her yet.”

“Listen, I gotta go. She’s going to be here with some art broker to price the cocks, and then we’re going out to dinner.”

“Price the what?” Ian cried.

Jasper finally smiled a little. “That’s what I call all the weird cocker spaniel paintings my grandmother collected. Apparently, some of them are actually worth a good chunk of money.”

Ian laughed. “Later.”

He hopped in the shower quickly, and when he’d just gotten himself dressed and back downstairs, there was a knock on his front door. He opened it to an always radiant and smiling Jane. He’d only known her for two weeks, and he’d been on an emotional roller coaster that entire time, but she at least brought a smile into his life—nearly every day thanks to all the work that went into the estate business.

“Hey.” He smiled at her.

She leaned to him, planting a kiss on his cheek and squeezing his hand. “Jasper, this is Gerald from the Leach and Caffrey Art Gallery in La Jolla. He’s going to help us price some of your grandmother’s more unique pieces.”

He held his hand out to Gerald. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise. I’ve worked with Jane for a few years now. She speaks highly of you, and I’m very sorry for your recent loss.”

He still got confused when people mentioned his recent loss. His mind never quite knew if it should go to his G or to his other G of the Gray persuasion. He almost felt guilty about the confusion, except he knew his grandmother would understand his conflict perfectly. She was, after all, the only person he’d really and truly spoken to about Gray, and he also knew his complete and utter infatuation with Gray had been apparent to his grandmother.

“Thank you.” He stepped back from the door, allowing them both to enter, and he followed them around as they toured the house.

Jane knew this house damn near better than he did, and she’d glance back at him often as they strolled.

“Well, this is an interesting piece,” Gerald commented as he studied the cock in the dining room.

Jane glanced at Jasper, and he rolled his eyes as she stifled a laugh. She didn’t care for the cocks any more than he did.

They strolled on, and eventually, after an hour or so, they’d made it through the home. It was a large home, and he’d taken this tour with an antique broker the week before too. When they made it back to the front foyer, Jane and Gerald chatted for a moment. Gerald had been taking notes along the way, and he was assuring her that he’d get a report to her as soon as possible.

She hung back when Gerald left, and as she turned to him, it was with a sly smile on her lips. “So, I know I suggested dinner out, but what would you say to ordering pizza and watching movies instead?” She looked hopeful.

He was certain he looked nervous. He was always nervous when he spent personal time with her. He knew she was attracted to him. And she was pretty, but… these nerves never felt good—not the way nerves like these should feel.

“Sorry,” she offered. “I’ve just had a long day, and I would love to take a load off tonight.”

He finally smiled. “Sounds good.” He nodded. “Why not?”

* * * *

Jasper felt Gray’s palm traveling over his shirt as her hand moved up his chest. He moaned, soaking in the feel of her touch after too long without it. “Oh, fuck,” he murmured. And as that hand reached his neck, her other trailed lower over his stomach, slowly moving to his cock. He was hard, and every muscle in his stomach clenched and rippled as he waited for her fingers to find his erection.

Her palm gently moved over the front of his pants, finding his rigid hard dick and gripping it as her fingers moved lower. “Fuck, you are big,” she murmured against his ear.

“Gray.” He groaned out her name.

She stilled for a moment, and then she rubbed, pushing her hand low to his testicles, cupping and squeezing them through his pants. He inhaled against her neck, but he shook his head. She didn’t smell right.

“Are you hard for me?” she crooned seductively.

She didn’t sound herself, but he hummed his response, desperate for more of her. “Mm-hmm. Please, Gray.”

Her body moved against his, her supple large breasts pressing against his chest, and as he nuzzled against her neck, he inhaled the scent again as his hands gripped and squeezed the soft mounds of her tits. Something was wrong.

“Gray,” he murmured again, desperate to hear her voice.

“Baby,” she responded in the wrong voice.

And then he panicked, shoving the body away from him as he pushed himself up on the couch. He gasped, panting as he tried to breathe through the shock. He rubbed his eyes as he blinked, trying to wake up. When he opened his eyes, she was staring back at him as she sat at his hip on the couch. It was the wrong she.

“Are you okay?” Jane asked as her palm gently stroked his thigh. “Sorry. You sounded like you wanted it.” She seemed genuinely confused, and he shook his head, trying to process what was going on. He’d been content. He’d been at peace, knowing his Gray was there, and now … she was gone. She’d never been there.

He nodded, staring at his lap as he tried to cope with the sudden loss of her. He couldn’t do this forever. He couldn’t torture himself with her memory for the rest of his life. He had to let her go. Why the hell couldn’t he ever let her go? He peered up to Jane, and he tried to smile.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said.

She bit her lower lip, glancing down at his groin. She leaned close to his mouth, brushing his cheek with her fingers, and he sighed, trying to relax. But she paused, studying his eyes for a moment.

“What does Gray mean?” she asked with a quizzical expression.

He shook his head.

“Is it a person?” She cocked her head to the side.

He gnawed on the inside of his lip, but he eventually nodded.

She studied him for a moment as his eyes shifted around. “It’s her, isn’t it?”

He nodded again.

“Oh.” She looked stricken for a moment.

“She’s…” He took a deep breath, and he let it out slowly. “She’s no one.”

She nodded tentatively, and then she leaned to his mouth as he closed his eyes.

Chapter Thirty-Six

“He told him he was still seeing you!” Anna practically shrieked into the phone.

Gray was sitting in a stupor on her bed, still trying to wake up from her impromptu mid-day nap. “What? Anna, I’m still half asleep, and you’re not making any sense.”

“I’ve been trying to reach you since this morning.”

“Yeah, sorry. I fell asleep. I was up all night knitting. Now can you please tell me what the hell you’re talking about?”

“Okay. Well… Knitting?”

“Anna!”

“Okay. First of all, you’re not allowed to get mad at me. I swear it wasn’t completely my fault. I mean, I didn’t set him up. It just happened that he was there.” She was in speed talk mode. “I mean, maybe I was doing some intel at Graystone last night, hoping to pick up on something, anything, that could explain this. Because, you know what? It just doesn’t make any fucking sense!” She was shrieking into the phone again.

“Anna, please. I’m so confused right now.” She stood up, moving to the kitchen and starting some coffee.

“Okay, just listen. I’m there, sitting at the bar, trying to pry some info from his bartender—”

Gray groaned. “Oh, you didn’t. Please tell me you’re not stalking people.”

“Just listen. So, I’m sitting at the bar, striking out with the bartender, and who walks up to me? Ian-the-dumb-fuck-let’s-have-a-threesome-ex. That’s who. He’s already half-drunk, slurring his words. He’s hanging all over me, and I start asking him questions, just prodding for information, how’s Jas doing, that sort of bullshit.”

Gray grabbed a coffee cup from the cupboard, and she stood there, yawning and waiting for the coffee maker to spew her life force into the pot. She gave up, and pulled the pot from the burner, slipping her cup under the stream.

“I’m still so confused, honey.” She yawned again.

“He admitted it. The shithead motherfuckin’ fucking son of a bitch fuckwad from hell admitted it!”

“Wow. That was a lot of F-bombs for one sentence. I haven’t heard that many since the Tiger sex scandal. Care to tell me what he admitted?”

Anna took a deep breath, letting it out loudly. “He told Jasper he fucked you. He said you’d fucked his brains out the second he saw you when he returned from Dallas. Gray… Jasper still thinks you and Ian are together. And I mean together together.”

Every ounce of air in Gray’s lungs came rushing out in a huff as she sank to the dining room chair, her coffee forgotten. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God.” She shook her head. “How? Why would he…?”

“Why do you think? Because you broke up with him.”

“Oh, my God. No. No.” She kept shaking her head.

“Yeah, honey. The fucker played you two like a goddamn card game.”

“I have to…” She stood, looking around her loft. “Ian said Jasper’s seeing someone. Oh, God.” She whimpered.

“And you don’t think it’s possible he lied about that too?”

Gray nodded. “But maybe it’s not a lie! I have to go. I have to go back. I’m going. If he’s not going to answer my phone calls, I’m just going to go.”

“Well,” Anna started awkwardly. “I mean, you could just leave him a message. Maybe tell him, and…”

“I’m going. Anna I have to let you go.”

“Of course you do. Now go get that emotionally fucked up sweetheart and drag his ass home where he belongs.”

“Yeah,” she said as she nodded. Really, she was just pumping herself up. “I’m just going. I’m going right now. Not even going to pack a bag.”

Anna made an odd sound. “Oh… I mean maybe a pair of underwear or something, you know. Let’s not get all archaic.”

“Fine.” She was still nodding. “I’m going to pack a bag,” she said firmly. “Then I’m going.”

“Okay.” Anna agreed.

“Okay,” Gray replied.

Click.

Gray grabbed the first small bag she found in her closet, and she started stuffing clothes into it from the nearby clothing basket. She’d never been more terrified in her whole life. She’d also never been more excited, and it wasn’t until she realized she was stuffing dirty clothes into her bag, that she stopped moving, took a deep breath, and forced herself to focus.

She shook her head, dumping the dirty clothes back into the dirty clothes basket, and then she stood, limping her way over to her dresser. She managed to stuff the bag with clean clothes this time, and she grabbed her purse from the dining room table as she walked to the door. She was going to do this. She was going to go beg him to take her back, and then she was going to slap him for being a jerk.

She pulled the door open, and she marched to the elevator, slamming her hand on the button, and then she even grunted as she silently fist pumped the air. She listened to the old thing creak and grown on its way up to her level, and she stared at the floor, running through the scenarios. She was like a football player before the game, running through her plays. She was going to yell at him. She might slap him. She was definitely going to forgive him. But she might have to slap him first. And, God, what if he really was seeing someone else? She couldn’t take that. And what if he really just didn’t want her? He had kicked her, more or less, to the curb the last time she saw him.

She shook her head as she stared down at her feet, and then the door was being lifted open by someone in the elevator. She didn’t bother looking up at the person. She was simply too busy playing out how this was going to go to care if the person in the elevator thought she was crazy.

“Gray.”

She gasped as her head snapped up. And she stared wide eyed back at him. “I’m going to slap you.” The words fell out of her mouth.

“Okay,” he said calmly.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Jasper stared at Gray as he stepped off the elevator, and she stared back, her mouth hanging open.

He glanced down at her bag. He was interrupting something. “Where are you going?”

“To San Diego.”

His eyebrows shot up, and he felt the corner of his mouth pulling up slightly. “And you packed a…” He shook his head in confusion. “That’s a thermal lunch tote?” He actually did smile then. “And the sleeve of that green cardigan of yours I like so much is sticking out.”

She glanced down. “Oh… Well…” Her lips pursed and her brow wrinkled. “I was … in a hurry.”

He inhaled deeply, taking her keys from her and moving to her door. His fingers trembled as he unlocked her door, and when he turned around to face her, her face was still frozen in shock as she watched him. He was still just trilling at the fact that she’d said she was going to San Diego. There was only one person in San Diego she knew, and he was standing right in front of her in as much shock as she appeared to be in.

“Well, I was coming to you.” He bit his lip as he pushed her door open.

Her lips trembled, and he stepped through the door as she followed him. She’d actually stepped through her door herself without the assistance of two artificial legs, and as he looked down at her boot, he smiled.

“I like it.”

She glanced down, nodding. “Jasper, what are you doing here?”

He nodded, taking a deep breath. “I made a mistake.”

She nodded.

“A big one. The worst in my life, in fact. The thing is… I don’t care about you and Ian—”

“He said you were dating someone.”

He stared at her suddenly confused. “Oh… Yeah, I guess. But we weren’t dating. Not…” He shook his head for a moment. He wasn’t doing this right. “Okay. The estate agent asked me out. She came onto me. And she… I thought she was you. I was sleeping, and…”

She gasped, her eyes suddenly panicked.

“No!” He corrected. He tried to smile. “She kissed me, and… And I fell apart. I… I asked her to leave. Then I packed a bag and took a cab to the airport.” He nodded. “That was last night at eleven.” He laughed quietly, and then he shook his head. “Too bad there were no flights out to Austin until this morning.” He shrugged. “It was kind of a long night.”

“You could have called me,” she offered. “I was knitting.” She seemed like maybe she was a little deranged.

He’d been in his own deranged mood since the night before, so much so that he’d literally sat at the airport all night long, waiting… And waiting. The first flight out was six-fifteen that morning, and with an inevitable layover, he’d only just gotten in at one that afternoon. Now he was exhausted, terrified he was going to screw this up, and not a little bit curious as to why she’d been ready to walk out the door to come to him after the way he’d treated her and pushed her away.

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I don’t care about you and Ian. I mean, I do care. It guts me.” He grabbed her hands. “But I don’t have the right to care.”

She started shaking her head.

“I love you. And I’m better for you than him. I am.”

She started nodding then, vigorously agreeing, her eyes wide.

“I’m a better man than him. I know that.”

“Jas—”

“I just want you back—”

“I didn’t sleep with him.” She cut him off quickly.

He looked away for a moment. “It’s okay,” he said when he looked back. “You had no reason to think—”

“No! I didn’t sleep with him. I came home from San Diego, and I broke up with him. He lied to you.” She studied him.

“What?” He stared at her in confusion. “Wait. What?”

“I just found out you thought Ian and I were still together.”

He nodded. He was too stunned to react beyond that.

“Jas?”

He was still nodding. “He fucking lied?”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to kill that man,” he muttered as he picked her up, slamming the door behind him. He wrapped his arms around her, clutching his fingers into her shoulders as he walked toward her bed. “I love you regardless, but you’re saying you didn’t?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t.”

“Oh, God, I love you,” he whispered against her ear.

“I love you too.” She pulled back to look at him, cupping his face in her hands. “I was coming to San Diego to tell you.”

He nodded. “And slap me too?”

She nodded. “I’ve… I’ve changed my mind on that.”

He kissed her, moaning against her lips as he laid her down on the bed under his body. He pushed her legs open wide, and he pulled the top of her tank top down, exposing her breasts. He pushed his chest against hers and let her nipples press into his skin. And he kissed some more. He pushed his tongue past her lips, tasting her and remembering her.

“You taste like mine,” he murmured even as his lips still covered hers.

He pulled back, smiling gently, and then he leaned to her neck, inhaling against her skin. “You smell like mine,” he said.

And when he let his palm run over her breast, he squeezed her small mound in his hand, loving the feel of her. “You feel like mine.”

He moved to her side, pulling her body to face him, and then he guided her hand down and over the front of his jeans. He was hard and straining, and she moaned quietly as her fingers traced the definition of his erection.

“You touch like mine.” His hand covered hers as her hand moved and caressed, and he moaned.

He pulled her hand from his body after a moment, and he pushed her to her back. He undid the button at the waist of her shorts quickly, and he pushed his hand past her underwear, sliding his finger between her lips. She was soaking wet, and she hissed as his finger plunged gently but deeply into her.

“This feels like mine too. Only mine.”

She nodded, and then he pushed another finger in with the first as her lips parted and her eyes closed. He watched her face as he penetrated slowly. He pushed and pulled, focusing on her brow—the way it flinched as he toyed with her body. Her tongue—as it passed over her lower lip in arousal. Her lips—the way they trembled as she neared her release. And her eyes—the way they widened when he brought her to orgasm and then fluttered as she passed over her peak.

He made love to her then, rolling his hips between her parted thighs and feeling her tightness constrict around him. And when he rolled their bodies, leaving her on top of him, he held her hands, letting her use them as leverage to balance as her hips humped seductively—pulling him within her. She danced on his lap like the most experienced lover in all the world, but she was all innocence to him.

She looked at him, her cheeks flushed pink, and she watched him as closely as he watched her. They loved to watch one another. She was as intrigued by the sight of him as he was by the sight of her. It was just how they were with one another, and they had been since the first time they’d played together. But this was so much more than playing.

He sat up, still holding her hands near her hips as she moved, and he looked down, watching her nipples graze his pecs. “I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you too.” Her voice was just as quiet.

She came a few minutes later, whimpering his name as she clung to his shoulders, and he rolled her under him, thrusting deep only a few times before he stilled and spilled himself within her. He chuckled even as he caught his breath, and he let his forehead find hers. He could feel her breath against his lips, and it wasn’t until he’d caught his that he crawled down her body. He laid between her legs, his upper arms under her thighs, his forearms running up her hips to splay his hands out on her lower belly. He leaned to that soft spot he loved so much, kissing a few inches below her belly button, and he rested his chin there when he finally looked up to her face.

She was looking down at him, her hands behind her head as she rested against her pillow. She smiled gently, reaching down with one hand and brushing his hair from his eyes. “Are you home?”

He watched her for a moment, and then he traced his fingers along her belly. “Right here,” he murmured. He kissed her belly again, but then he took a deep breath, peering up at her again. “I offered to sell the bar to Seth.”

Her brow wrinkled.

“Before…” He shook his head.

“And the estate sale?” she asked, looking a little nervous at the mere mention of it. He was guessing it wasn’t the sale as much as the agent attached to it that left her feeling insecure.

He smiled. “Not for another couple weeks. And then I still have to figure out what I want to do with the property itself. And my father…” He was shaking his head again.

“Jas?”

“Yeah?” He finally looked back at her eyes.

“What if we moved there?” She watched him, waiting for a reaction.

His blood was warm as it coursed through him. And he smiled at her.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Jasper fell fast asleep, and after Gray watched him for a while, she crept from bed. She did some laundry, she even put together a veggie lasagna for dinner, and the number of text messages she exchanged with Anna was well over an hour’s worth of conversing. The sun started going down mid-evening, and she peeked in on him a time or two. The sheets were low on his back as he lay on his stomach. She could see her own scratch marks on his shoulders, and she laughed softly.

San Diego. Had she really offered to move there with him? He shouldn’t have been there alone to begin with, and there was no one else in the world that should return there with him than her. She dressed in a light pink leotard, and she slipped her compression wrap over her foot and ankle. It helped stabilize and protect her ankle when she did yoga or swam, and after she put the lasagna in the oven, she moved to her small dance studio.

She missed dance. But the very idea of putting a pointe shoe on and moving through even the simplest of her positions, left her cringing. She could imagine what was happening in her ankle, and she could also imagine that tendon snapping again. She shrugged her shoulders as a shiver ran through her. It wasn’t a pleasant thought in the least, and she wasn’t sure returning to dance was worth the risk of making herself permanently disabled.

But yoga, strike that, modified yoga, now this she liked. She had to be careful, but thanks to being fit and strong, she could handle nearly every position without having to strain her tendon. She rolled her mat out on the floor, and she started stretching. She did the splits, leaning down to her front leg and gripping her good foot as her bad leg stretched out behind her. She stayed there for a while, feeling the tension in her muscles slip away.

When she turned her hips, she seamlessly moved her body into a straddle split, facing the wall of mirrors head on. She gasped as she took in Jasper’s naked form behind her. He was watching, his arms crossed on his chest and his erection high on his stomach. He studied her body, both the backside that was visible from his angle, and the front side which he appraised in the mirror.

When he walked up to her, he crouched behind her body, peering over her shoulder at her face in the mirror. He reached down, gripping her hips gently and letting his thumbs run a gentle arc over her bottom. “Had I known you could do this, I’d have kept G’s four poster bed, so I could tie your ankles to it and fuck the hell out of you. Guess we’ll be buying a new one.”

She swallowed a lump, and he watched, lifting his hand to gently grip the front of her throat. He leaned down, kissing the top of her shoulder as he continued to watch her.

“How about you move your leotard aside, so I can see how wet you are.”

She breathed deeply as she met his eyes in the mirror. When she reached down, he focused on her eyes until she pulled the crotch of her leotard aside. Only then did he slowly lower his focus to her sex. His jaw clenched tight and his nostrils flared, and then his lips were on the top of her shoulder again as he breathed against her skin.

He loosened the hand on her hip and reached down, running his finger through her wetness as she cried out.

“I love how wet you get. I love the feel of it, the sound of it, the taste alone drives me insane. Are you ready to dance?” he asked, his lips still against her shoulder.

She nodded. “I can even walk now,” she teased, and she could feel his lips pulling up against her skin.

When he lifted his mouth from her shoulder, he kissed the side of her neck. “I don’t need your foot.” The hand that still rested on the front of her throat, moved up her neck to her face, his fingers brushing along her lips. “Just your mouth and my cock.”

She nodded, and he smiled at her. He stripped her out of her leotard when he helped her up, and he turned her mat to run perpendicular to the mirror before he sat at the end farthest from the mirrors. She knelt between his legs, her back to the mirror, and as she looked at him, she chuckled, and he smirked at her.

“I see,” she said as she glanced back at the mirror behind her.

“Come on, Gray, show me that ass I like so much. And keep your legs wide apart.” He winked.

She glanced back once as she leaned forward, but she abandoned her own self-consciousness quickly thanks to the ever-looming cock in front of her. She’d not done this with him. She wasn’t sure why. It had just never worked out that way, and now that it was time, she was almost frightened. She wasn’t at all sure her lips would even fit around him, and as she glanced up at him, his eyes were studying the mirror. But he looked down at her and smirked when he caught her eyeing him. His eyebrows shot up in amusement, and he reached down, running his thumb over her lower lip.

“Come here,” he whisper, and she kneeled up to his face. He pulled her lips to his and kissed her gently. “No one gets to make the rules for us anymore. It’s just us. It was always just us.”

She nodded, and he smiled.

“Now lick,” he demanded.

She leaned back down, letting her tongue trace around the head of his cock. He groaned and cussed as her tongue followed the ridge of skin, and when she dipped her tongue in the slit at the tip, he hissed. Her lips distended painfully as she sank her mouth around him, and his moan deepened as she sucked.

He was watching her backside in the mirror again, and as she pulled up with her mouth, he twisted his fingers in her hair. But he didn’t force her movements. He let her set the pace, sinking and lifting her mouth. Suction was barely possible with her mouth so overfull with him, but she pulled against his length, feeling his fingers twist tighter and tighter in her hair.

She planted her elbow between his legs, resting her forearm out and letting his testicles sit heavy and tight in her palm, and then she squeezed gently as he hummed. She gently stroked the tight skin, and his breath caught in his throat as he dug his heels into the yoga mat. One hand was planted behind his hip as he leaned back.

“How much of me do you want to own?” he asked quietly.

She pulled back, glancing up to his eyes. “All of you.”

He smirked, and when she squeezed his balls gently, his mouth fell open.

“I like that answer. Now give me your hand.”

He pulled her hand up to his mouth, sucking her middle finger between his lips and into his mouth. His tongue ran over her skin, and her entire body flushed with goose bumps. He stroked along her finger, sucking, and when he released the hold, her finger was glossy and wet.

“Keep going.” He studied her eyes closely.

She stared at him for a moment, and then she lowered her hand between his legs again and found that smooth skin just beyond his testicles. She paused, glancing up at him, and then she let her finger trail back farther. He was breathing deeply as he watched her, and he leaned back farther, glancing at her figure in the mirror as his brow flinched for a second. Then his eyes were back on her face, and he nodded. He actually looked terrified.

When her finger brushed that tight puckered skin, he hissed, and his lips trembled.

“Fuck, Gray,” he murmured as his thighs shook. “You can have every inch of me. Now do it.”

She pushed through, his body tightening around her finger, and then it was smoothness and his guttural groans. His head fell back and his thighs went rigid still. When she leaned to the head of his cock, she trailed her tongue around it, toying as her finger pushed deeper into his body.

“Fuck,” he muttered through gritted teeth.

And then she sucked. She sucked harder, lowering, lifting, pulling, and releasing, and her finger plunged and pulled as his body shook. He was leaning back farther, bracing his body with one hand as his other reached for her face. He ran his thumb over and around her lips even as they sucked on his cock. He groaned as he felt her distended lips against his skin.

His breathing lurched, and he panted, his fingers moving up to her head again and twisting in her hair once more until her head hurt. And as she thrust hard with her finger into his bottom as far as she could, he cried out and surged into her mouth. His cum hit the back of her throat. He filled her mouth with warmth, and she swallowed. He was gasping and groaning, and she pulled back slowly watching him as he came down from his high.

His eyes found hers, and his smirk was subtle. She pulled her finger slowly from his body as his lips parted farther and farther. And as her finger slipped from him, he hummed and released his grip on her hair.

She knelt back on her calves as she sat upright between his legs, and he reached to her bottom, squeezing a cheek in his hand as he peered over her shoulder. He chuckled warmly as he stood, and he reached a hand down to her, pulling her up to her feet. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bar along the mirror. He lowered her to stand, and he stood behind her body, watching her as she faced the mirror.

“That night on the phone… Did you watch yourself come in the mirror when I asked you to?”

She nodded.

“I wanted to be here so much that night,” he murmured against her neck. “I wanted to watch you. I wanted to see you looking at those incredible greens eyes I love so much.” He kissed her neck softly. “I wanted to watch you squirm against the discomfort of seeing yourself fall apart.” He moved to her other shoulder, finding her eyes again. “And more than anything, I wanted to be here to tell you it was okay, to tell you how fucking incredible you are, how beautiful you are. Every last reassurance you needed to hear that the pretty little high school boy and his cruel word were a very…” He kissed her neck. “…very distant memory.”

She closed her eyes as he nuzzled against her neck then. She could feel the warmth of his breath as he inhaled against her skin, and then his hand ran over her back and down her bottom to her thighs. He snaked his fingers between her legs, lifting one to rest on the bar. She was left standing on her good leg, her bad one stretched out on the bar, and then the hand that still rested on the underside of her knee moved back up her thigh.

She studied his hand as it moved slowly, trailing its way to her pussy, and he toyed with her wet skin for a moment, and he hummed. He slowly pushed his middle finger into her.

“Keep your hands on that bar.”

She nodded.

“Did it feel this good when that boy fingered your pussy?”

“No,” she answered. Nothing any other man had ever done to her felt as good as he could.

“Were you as wet for him as you always are for me?”

“No.” No one could make her this wet.

“Did you come as hard for him as you do for me?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t come.”

His eyebrows rose. “Because that little boy didn’t know the first thing about how your body works, did he?”

“No,” she said quietly.

He pushed another finger in with the first, and she groaned as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. His fingers were distending her, and as her lips parted, he pushed a third one in with the first two. The distention itself was arousing, and he groaned as he watched.

His free hand wrapped around her hip, his hand splaying out on her lower tummy as his middle finger reached to her clit. He stroked and pressed against her swollen nerves, and she started whimpering and gasping as her body trembled. Her legs were shaking as his three fingers pushed in and out, stretching her as they drove deep.

“Look at yourself.” His voice was so commanding, and as she found his eyes on hers, she naturally stared back. But that wasn’t what he wanted. “Not me, Gray, yourself.”

She groaned in agony as she shifted her focus to her own eyes, and she looked away quickly as her brow furrowed.

“Come on, sweetie.”

She looked back, and his fingers pushed deep into her as her lips fell open. She stared at her eyes, focusing on the pleasure of his touch between her legs, and she let herself pant, her lips close to the mirror, and her breath fogging the glass. Her fingers gripped the bar, steadying herself as his fingers tugged and pushed her.

He was rough with her body, forcing her open as his middle finger toyed and tormented her clit into a frenzy.

“Please,” she begged as she neared her threshold.

He hummed. “I love you, Gray.”

She whimpered, her core tightening and trying to capture her release. “I love you too.” She could barely get the words out.

“Tell me I get to keep you,” he murmured against her neck.

“Please keep me.” She gasped, inhaling quick and desperate breaths. Forcing her focus to remain on her own eyes was nearly impossible. All she wanted to do was look at him.

“No one but us.” His deep tone sent warm wetness surging to her groin, and he groaned as the sloppy wet sound of his penetrations intensified.

She whimpered. “Always us.” She was mortified at her body’s response to him, and the added torture of looking at herself was testing her will. But, fuck, she was falling apart.

“Your cum is running down the side of my hand. You’re going to drip on the floor any moment.”

She cried out quietly, her eyelids fluttering as her modesty tried to close them completely.

“That’s it, Gray, come on my fingers,” he muttered huskily against her neck. His fingers were violently plunging and withdrawing, and he grunted as he thrust into her body.

She came, holding her head up as long as she could before her eyes finally closed and her head dropped to the mirror in front of her.

He chuckled as he pulled his middle finger from its place against her clit. He held his hand to her belly, steadying her body, and she gasped for air against the glass. He was exceptionally gentle and slow as he withdrew his fingers from her sheath, but it still sent an overstimulated jolt of tension to her groin, and she clamped down on him as he hummed.

“Relax,” he murmured, his lips now against the back of her neck. “I love you,” he whispered against her skin, and she sank back against his chest. She lowered her leg as he pulled his hand from her sex, and he wrapped his arm around her, resting his chin on her shoulder as she lazily opened her eyes. He smiled.

“Hi.” Her voice sounded as lazy as her eyes looked.

“Hi,” he responded.

The oven started dinging then as she jumped, and he started laughing.

“Go wash your hands, please.” He winked at her. “I’ll get that.”

He grabbed her walking boot that she’d left at the side of her hardwood dance floor, returning it to her before he left for the kitchen. She limped her way to the bathroom, and by the time she returned to the kitchen, he had the casserole dish on the table, and he’d set a couple plates and silverware out as well. She sat across from him, and she served their food as he smiled at her.

“So, what are your thoughts on revenge? Just out of curiosity.” He asked as she finished sliding his serving onto his plate.

She glanced up quickly. “I’m a fan. Yeah. Big fan of it. Why?”

He smiled. “Good to know.” He winked.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Six Weeks Later

“Hey,” Jasper greeted Ian casually as he walked through the backdoor of Graystone.

“Hey.” Ian barely glanced at him as he looked back at Gray beside him at the bar. She smiled as she lifted her drink to her mouth.

“See you two helped yourselves. I’m starting to regret letting you keep a key to this place all those years ago.” Jasper smirked at Ian. “How many times have you helped yourself to my liquor?”

Ian tipped his glass to him.

The place was deserted and closed, the front door locked with the Closed sign hanging visibly in the window. It was a Tuesday, lunchtime, and with the transition of ownership looming, Jasper had closed during the days that week so inspections could be done, paperwork signed, and all that good stuff handled.

“Tell me again why you’re selling this place?” Ian asked.

“Time for a change,” Jasper answered. “I’m in San Diego nearly full-time right now, and I just don’t want to try to deal with Graystone and everything else at the same time.”

“And you’re now loaded, right?” Ian’s brows shot up as he smiled at Jasper.

“Well, there is that too.” Jas smirked as he walked behind the bar. “Yeah.” He cracked open a beer, but he took only the smallest swig.

“So…” Ian’s eyes bounced back and forth between him and Gray for a moment. “You two… What’s the story?”

She laughed, but she didn’t answer.

Jasper took the liberty. “Well, I have to have something to do when I’m back in Austin.”

“Like doing my ex-girlfriend?”

Jasper shrugged, and he watched as Gray’s cheeks pinked up instantly.

“Well, you’re doing the cost accountant,” Gray remarked, her eyebrows cocked and her tongue in her cheek.

Ian cleared his throat. “I’m a shit. Okay? I know that. You broke my heart, though. Just so you know.” He said dramatically.

She snorted. “Was that before or after you started screwing your subordinate.” She eyed Ian for a moment. “Relax. I’m over it. I’m perfectly content keeping my sex life casual these days. Apparently, life is just more fun that way.” She winked at him.

“You really have no hard feelings, Gray?” Jasper asked conversationally. He didn’t need to ask her anything about her feelings on the matter, because he knew everything there was to know about them. But he needed to appear as clueless as Ian at the moment.

She shrugged. “No.” She looked at him sincerely. “At first, sure. But…” She shrugged again. “Not now.”

Jasper nodded. He refilled Ian’s drink, handing it back to him with his own shrug. “I guess she’s cool. I mean, she gets to fuck me on occasion, so … best of both worlds I suppose.”

She pointed at him. “Bingo. Besides, neither of you are the relationship type, and… I don’t know… I’m not sure I am either. At least not right now. I’m too young.” She smirked. “You two, on the other hand…” She eyed them both playfully.

Ian chuckled. “So, aside from your new found sexual enlightenment and freedom, which you owe entirely to me, what else is new?” He eyed her flirtatiously.

She grimaced. “Going home to Boise tomorrow for a while. Not sure I’ll be able to handle the boredom, but…” She shrugged. She was good at this.

“Poor, Gray,” Ian commented easily.

Jasper watched them, casually leaning back against the back bar counter.

“In fact…” she looked between them both, letting the feigned insecurity emanate from her expression. Fuck. She was really fucking good at this. “I was hoping for something. It’s why I asked you two here actually. A sending off gift, if you will.”

Ian cocked his head, glancing at Jasper quickly as Jas let his brow furrow as though he was confused.

“I figure you both owe me.”

“Do we?” Jasper interjected. “And what, dear Gray, do you think we owe you?” He studied her for a moment before letting his attention move back to Ian.

“A threesome.” She bit her lower lip nervously, and she clasped her hands on the bar. “We never truly did … you know…”

Ian was studying her silently. Jas couldn’t tell if it was suspicion or intrigue or a little of both.

So, Jasper played up his part a little more. “I’m not sure you can handle both of us.”

Ian’s lips pulled up as he chuckled quietly, but then he nodded slowly, his lips pursed as he considered it.

“You said it yourself, you’re almost always in San Diego, I’m going to be in Boise for at least the foreseeable future, forever if my mother has her way, and…” She shrugged.

“I’m just not sure it’s a great idea. Things got … complicated for you last time,” Jasper offered. They’d gotten a hell of a lot more than complicated and for a hell of lot more than just her, but to this point, Ian was only aware of her turmoil, not his—at least not with any certainty. So Jas was playing the role of conscientious objector, and as he studied Gray’s eyes, Ian glanced at him.

“But it’s different this time. Isn’t that what you said, Gray?” Ian interjected.

She shifted her focus to Ian. “Yes. It is different. I have no emotional or romantic ties to either of you.”

Jasper sighed, looking between the two of them concernedly. “You’re sure?” He eyed Gray suspiciously.

“I’m sure.”

Jasper shrugged, turning his attention to Ian. “I don’t know. Up to you.”

“The woman said she’s sure,” Ian replied.

Jasper shrugged again. “She did indeed.”

Chapter Forty

“My place?” Ian asked.

She hopped off the stool. “How about here.” She turned around, looking at the empty bar around them and holding her hands up in the air.

Ian glanced around. “Here?” He smirked.

“Here,” she nodded. “The Gray and Graystone send off.” She smiled broadly, her heart thumping loudly in her chest. She tugged on Ian’s arm and pulled him away to a nearby table, pulling the chair out.

Jasper rounded the bar, shaking his head as though he was still a bit shocked she wanted this. But as he walked up behind her, he ran his hand down her back. He leaned to her neck, biting her gently, and Ian chuckled as he sat down in the chair.

“I’ll be back.” Jas ran up the stairs to the apartment.

Ian watched her as she walked slowly toward him. He was hard and straining against the front of his pants, and she leaned over, placing her hands on the arms of the chair. Her shirt was low-cut, and his attention quickly moved down to her tits.

“Why do you want this, Gray? Tell me the truth,” Ian asked as his eyes returned to hers.

“Doesn’t every gal want two good looking men at one time?” In truth, she was more than happy having just one. It was an intimacy thing.

He chuckled, and as he did, Jasper reappeared from the rear of the bar. He froze for a moment as he took in Gray’s rather seductive position in front of Ian, and she glanced over Ian’s shoulder at him and smiled subtly. He nodded his head and then approached them, tossing a couple condoms on the table.

Jas stripped his shirt off, dropping it on the bar top, but Gray helped Ian out of his, pulling it up and letting her fingers trail over his stomach as he hummed. Jasper walked up behind Gray, reaching around her body and gripping her tits in his hands. He groaned against her neck as Ian stared at his hands as they groped her.

“I want you to suck his cock while I’m fucking you,” Jasper murmured against her ear.

Her lips parted, and she blew out a steadying breath. She nodded as she watched Ian, trying her best to appear nervous and excited at the same time. Jasper kissed around the back of her neck, and as his mouth moved, he reached down, slipping his hand past the waist of her shorts.

He cupped her sex, but he didn’t delve. She was glad. She didn’t actually want this to turn into something arousing, and were he to delve, he’d find her as dry as could be. She was entirely too terrified to be turned on at the moment.

“You are so fucking wet,” he lied as he murmured against her neck.

Ian sighed, and the moment Jasper pulled his hand back from her body, she approached Ian, stripping off her shirt and leaving herself in her bra. Actually to say her bra was a bit misleading. She didn’t own one, but Anna did, and Gray had needed one on this day. She tossed her shirt to the table, and Jas picked it up walking to the bar.

She knelt at Ian’s feet, and he parted his legs. He was wearing khaki shorts and deck shoes, and when she reached for the waist of his pants, his stomach muscles rippled, and he moaned. His fingers reached out, gripping her hair and twisting painfully through it. She gritted her teeth when he pulled her head closer to his groin, and when she glanced to the bar, Jasper’s lips twitched into a sneer.

She undid Ian’s pants quickly, and she pulled both his shorts and underwear down his legs as his cock thrust up on his stomach. She knew this was killing Jasper, and she moved quickly when Ian lifted his ass from the seat. She pulled his shoes from his feet too, and she tossed the clothes aside. Jasper scooped them up off the floor and set them on the bar.

Jasper slipped his own shirt back on, and he tucked hers into his pocket. But she trained her eyes on Ian, keeping his attention on her. She ran her hands up the tops of his thighs, and his cock twitched the closer she came to it, but she stopped short of touching. She pushed up from his body with a hand to both thighs, and she stepped back. She let her hands trail over her belly, moving up to her tits, and she squeezed her breasts as Ian moaned again.

“Christ, woman, enough already,” Ian muttered.

Jasper walked casually behind her, and she reached back, touching the clasp of her bra but making no move to unhook it. Ian licked his lips greedily. And that’s when Jasper touched the back of her neck.

“I think that’s enough, baby,” he said gently against her ear.

“Yeah. Enough fucking torture.” Ian chuckled. “Suck my cock already.” Ian smirked at her, but then his focus returned to her bra, clearly waiting for it to disappear.

But she pulled her hands back, and she smiled sweetly.

“I don’t think so,” Jasper said coolly as he put her shirt in her hand. He leaned to her ear. “I love you,” he said quietly.

“I love you too.” She stepped over to the bar as Ian’s wide confused eyes followed her.

Jasper watched her for a moment too, but his attention returned to Ian as Gray tossed her shirt back on over her head. Ian was starting to fume, his face red and pinched in confusion.

When Jasper smiled at Ian, it was sadistic. “I would love nothing more than to torment you by making you watch as I make love to Gray and denying you even the simplest touch. But, frankly, I’m not willing to share even the sight of her with you. Or anyone else for that matter.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ian seethed out the question.

Gray grabbed Ian’s clothes quickly while Ian’s focus was on Jasper, and she stashed them in the tote bag hanging on the back of her bar stool, quickly slinging the bag over her head and shoulder. Ian was too busy glaring at Jasper, who was standing in front of him with his arms crossed on his chest.

“Let me introduce you to the concept of ‘getting what’s coming to you.’” Jasper smirked, but it was a cruel expression, and Gray shivered at the cool heat that was radiating from him as she stepped back to his side.

“You fucking asshole. You think you’re going to get away with this?”

Jasper smiled. “Yes, I do. I’m guessing CFOs like to keep a low profile in terms of their debauchery. Am I right? Wouldn’t want the CEO of your company finding out about the cost accountant now, would you? I’m sure your reputation is quite an important thing to you. You should understand mine is not, because the only person in the world I care about knows exactly who I am and what I’m worth.”

Ian laughed. For a naked man, he was holding his own impressively. She couldn’t say she was surprised.

“You two made your own fucking choices,” Ian spat maliciously. “I didn’t force either one of you into this. You both agreed willingly—”

“We didn’t agree to be your fucking puppets. You played us—”

“You fucking played me too,” Ian erupted as he stood from the chair, his hands balled into fists.

“Did we?” Jasper nodded his head calmly as Ian’s face turned red in fury. “I’ll tell you exactly what I did. I fell in love with an incredible woman who was being disrespected by the man who was supposed to care for her. I took what you didn’t deserve.”

“That incredible woman,” Ian mocked. “You mean that fucking slut standing beside you?” Ian cried incredulously. “You’re a low life fucking loser, you know that, Jas. Always have been. Nobody ever gave a shit about you because you’re nothing.” He sneered as he spit his venom at Jasper. “You’re a worthless piece of shit. So worthless your own mother didn’t even want you.”

Gray’s hand instantly moved to Jasper’s lower back just under his shirt, and he glanced over to her as she watched him calmly. He swallowed harshly as he watched her, and she pressed her fingers gently against his skin.

When his eyes returned to Ian’s he took a deep breath. “You sound just like my father.”

“Yeah? Well, your dad had it right.”

“No, he didn’t.” Jasper was staying so calm. It was beyond impressive to her. “I know that now.”

She caressed his lower back gently, and he glanced down at her again.

“We’re going to be late,” she said calmly.

Jas nodded, and he leaned down to kiss her on the temple. When they looked back, Ian was eyeing them venomously.

Gray smirked at him. “We’re moving away from Austin permanently. Together. In fact, we’re leaving this very moment, so we can get to our hotel with plenty of time to spare for a late dinner and plenty of that love making we’re so very fond of. With one another that is. You, frankly, were a selfish bore in the bedroom.” She winked at Ian even as he snarled at her, and Jasper laughed quietly beside her.

But Jasper stopped laughing then. “And the moment we walk out this door, you will cease to be anything to either one of us except a bad memory. Goodbye, Ian. If nothing else, thank you for introducing me to the woman I love. I do appreciate that.”

Gray turned toward the back door, walking away, but as Ian growled and lunged toward Jasper, she turned back just in time to see Jasper bring his knee up into Ian’s balls. The sudden loss of color in Ian’s face suggested he might just pass out. He staggered back to the chair, collapsing to it and clutching at his crotch.

Jasper turned to follow her, but then turned back once more as she did too. “Oh, Seth is going to be here momentarily with the broker handling the sale of Graystone, a couple other investors who are going in on the purchase with him, and a few general contractors who are bidding on some renovations he wants done. Probably going to get a little crowded in here in a minute or two.” He chuckled. “Don’t bother trying the door to the apartment, because it’s locked. There is a dumpster out back, I suppose.” He shrugged.

And at just that second the sound of cars pulling up out front could be heard, followed moments later by car doors closing and voices.

“Seth’s always been so prompt.” Jasper commented casually. “Have fun, you worthless piece of shit.”

And then they walked out the door without a backward glance. Jasper’s car was parked there, and they climbed in together. Jas put his sunglasses on, turned to her, and smiled.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

Chapter Forty-One

Gray asked Jasper to pull over when they were still in downtown. She politely offered Ian’s clothes to a homeless man standing on the corner, and he thanked her profusely as he took Ian’s pristine Tommy Bahamas, and his Hugo Boss polo shirt from her hands.

“What did you do with his wallet?” He asked, suddenly worried they were thieves.

She smiled at him. “Left it on the bar.”

“Good girl.”

“I might have dropped his car keys in the puddle in the back parking lot.”

“Very good girl.” He reached over taking her hand. “Revenge suits you, Gray.”

She laughed.

By nine that night, they were in El Paso and checked into their hotel. They opted for pizza delivery to maximize the fucking time, and he was inside her body by ten-thirty, with no plans to leave anytime soon.

He showered with her the next morning, crammed into the rather small hotel shower, and as he stood behind her body at the bathroom sink, she smiled shyly at him, biting her lip.

“Can I tell you something?” she asked quietly as he wrapped his arms around her, his hands covering her small breasts. She reached up holding his hands to her chest.

“Of course.”

“I’m excited.” She studied him for a moment. “I feel like I’m embarking on an exciting new adventure.” Her face was whimsical. “We can do anything we want, when we want, how we want, where we want. It’s such a liberating thing.”

He smiled. “Yes, it is.” He thought for a moment. “Do I give you what you need? Are you complete and happy with me?”

She nodded. “Yes.” She was silent again for a moment. “Do I quiet your past?”

He wrapped his arms all the way around her that time, holding her close to his body. “Yes.” He kissed her neck. “Very much, yes.”

She turned toward him, and he lifted her to the counter. He kissed her, gripping her hips and pulling her into him.

“We could keep my grandmother’s home,” he murmured against her lips. He pulled back, looking down on her. “She’d be happy, I think, to know that I was there with you. I had a rough time of it there when I was young. In a way, going back and staying is like … recovering. But I’m not sure I could do that without you.”

She studied him and then she reached to his chest, tracing the letter. She leaned forward, kissing him in the middle of his chest on his sternum, and when she leaned back, she nodded and his heart sped for a moment.

“We’ll have to deal with my father, I’m sure. The neighbors who don’t much like me… I no longer have a job… We have no furniture now. I still have a house to sell outside of Austin. You broke the lease on your loft, so you’re bound to get sued.”

“Don’t forget my career is over.”

“Well, yes, there’s that too.” He chuckled.

Her fingers gripped the sides of his waist, and they trailed up to his chest. “It’s an adventure. And we’ll be just fine.”

He leaned down and kissed her. “Yes, we will.”

Epilogue

Three Years Later

Jasper splashed Gray in the face as she came up for air. They were trying to be quiet while Henrietta napped in her Pack ’N Play. The weather was perfect, and she was under the part of the patio that was covered. She was only wearing a diaper, and she was sound asleep. Gray needed to be at the yoga studio in a couple hours, and Jasper was planning to go to the bar to do payroll while Gray taught her two back-to-back Tuesday afternoon classes.

When they bought the yoga studio two years prior, they intentionally looked for locations near the bar they’d bought six months before that in the Pacific Beach area. His and hers businesses. Yoga and Pilates alike gave Gray the outlet she needed, having never returned to dance. The bar was just an easy fit for Jas who’d succeeded in creating the best little beachside watering hole for the casual local—nondescript enough to stay off the tourist radar, but popular enough to be more than profitable.

San Diego had become home for them—perhaps not all at once, but over time. And Jas was right; it was healing to him in many ways. He liked his life there, and the fact he was able to was the only sign they needed that coming back was the right thing to do. G’s home felt as right to them as California did too. It was far more room than they could possibly need, but they loved the pool, they loved the large sprawling property line that afforded them plenty of privacy, and they loved the history—bad as well as good, and they were building more good every day.

Much like this day.

She chuckled quietly as she splashed Jasper right back, but as she turned to walk up the steps, he caught the strings of her bikini top, pulling both and leaving her topless. She walked up the steps regardless of her state, but she didn’t get out. Instead, she turned and sat on the edge of the pool as he smirked at her.

“Hi,” he whispered when he pushed her thighs apart and knelt a few steps lower.

“Hi,” she responded just as softly.

“You know, Anna’s going to be here in less than three days?”

She instantly smiled and nodded excitedly. “I know. Two whole weeks of Anna time.”

She missed Anna, but daily phone calls, random bizarre text messages at all hours of the day and night, and every other form of social media in existence, kept them in contact.

“When’s Viv supposed to be here?” He leaned to her belly kissing the roundness and splaying his fingers out across her tummy.

“An hour.” She reached down, running her fingers through his hair.

“Have I ever told you how much I love this spot?” He was gently caressing her belly.

“Yes. Many times. I think you called it squiggy.” She smirked.

“I did not. I said soft. And right now, it’s not at all soft.”

He was right about that. She was showing early with her second pregnancy. She was only four months along, and her stomach was already growing and distending more by the day. She’d been at least five months with their first before she’d shown this much. Gray had gotten pregnant with their second just before Henry’s first birthday, and she was enjoying it immensely now that the morning sickness had passed.

He kissed her stomach again. Some women incessantly played music around their bellies in the hopes their child would come out being the next Mozart. If there was any truth to that, their child would come out kissing everything in sight. Of course, Henrietta wasn’t showing any inappropriate kissing habits thus far, so her father’s inability to keep his lips off her mommy’s tummy didn’t appear to have caused any major psychological trauma.

She leaned back on her elbows, smiling at him as his lips moved over her skin. He looked up at her, winking, and then he lowered his head farther, pulling the crotch of her bikini aside as he slid his tongue between her lips. It was a damn good thing their neighbors weren’t close enough to spy, because he pretty much took her wherever the hell he chose, whenever the hell he chose.

She moaned quietly, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back. She came quickly, and as she panted to catch her breath, he entered her. He’d moved up to kneel on the stair just beneath the edge of the pool, pushing his swim trunks down his hips. He thrust as he stared at that place between their legs. He loved to watch. He studied every penetration, and he held his hand on her stomach, rocking gently over and over again. It wasn’t until he was nearly falling apart that his hips sped, and he pulled back slightly to keep himself from driving into her too deep.

His body went rigid as he came inside her, and he chuckled as he leaned to her mouth, kissing her gently. Henrietta started whimpering before he’d even pulled back from her mouth, and as he did, he smiled at her.

“I’ll handle Henry. You handle the mess I left between your legs.” He kissed her one more time, and as he climbed out of the pool, he pulled his swim trunks up.

She rinsed his cum from her body, splashing the water on herself as more dripped out. He glanced back, laughing as he bent over the Pack ’N Play and scooped Henrietta up in his arms.

“How’s my Henry?” He kissed her on the cheek. “Let’s get that diaper changed. Daddy got carried away with Mommy again, so it’s just you and I, kiddo, until Mommy gets herself cleaned up.” He bounced her on his hip as she rubbed her eyes with her pudgy little hands. Her hair was dark like her fathers, and her eyes were a hazel green, more green than her father’s, but not as green as her mother’s.

Once she finally stopped hemorrhaging semen from her girl bits, Gray followed them inside. She fixed Henry a sippy cup of milk and took it upstairs with her. She found them in the nursery, and when she approached the door, she paused, and she watched.

“Let me tell you all about how I fell in love with your mother…”

Gray cringed, but she stayed quiet. Thank God their daughter couldn’t understand more than a few words.

“She taught me that I deserved her. And in return, I took her away from the man who didn’t.” He pulled Henry’s dirty diaper off as she cooed at him. “She’s so special I rewrote my entire existence for her.” He pulled a wet wipe from the container next to him. “You know she’s a super hero, right?”

Henry cooed again, and Gray clutched at the doorframe as her eyes warmed.

“She has this amazing ability to make the ugly things in the world go away. She’ll never try to hurt you, and she’ll never leave you. That’s very important—very, very important. And you’re going to have to trust me on that, because you’re never going to find out firsthand what happens when you don’t have that.” His voice was quiet and soothing.

She brushed a tear away.

“And because she’s so special, I promise you I’ll always take care of her. I’ll do it for you. I’ll do it for her. I’ll do it even for my own selfish reasons.” He lifted her into his arms, kissing her gently on the cheek. “I love you, Henrietta,” he whispered.

“Yoohoo,” Gray’s mother hollered from the front door moments later.

Jasper turned toward the door, and he froze as he caught Gray spying on them. He stared for a moment, and then his lips pulled up in a small smile.

“Down in a minute, Mom,” she hollered over her shoulder.

When she glanced back, he was sauntering over to her with Henry sitting on his hip. Their little girl smiled happily at her, and Gray’s lips pursed in her own sweet smile as she held her hands out. Jas shifted Henry over to her hip, leaning down and kissing her as he did.

“Eavesdropping on Henry and me?” He didn’t give her a chance to respond. “We were having an important conversation.”

She hummed. “You’re an amazing father, you know that?” She smiled at him.

“Thanks to my incredible wife and the mother of my children, I’m able to believe that. You can’t imagine what a gift that is.” He reached for her cheek, brushing his thumb down her skin as Henrietta clasped at his hand and giggled.

Gray turned into his hand, letting his palm cover her mouth, and she kissed.

The End

About the Author

Elizabeth Finn is a multi-published contemporary romance author, and her passion is creating stories packed full of believable conflicts, characters who leave you rooting for them, and romance that might just short-circuit your e-reader. She likes her characters flawed, but they always find the best part of themselves on their journey, and her readers find themselves devoted to her honest and heartfelt voice.

http://elizabethfinnfiction.com/

https://www.facebook.com/ElizabethFinnFiction

mailto:elizabethfinn77@gmail.com

@ElizabethFinn77

Go back to Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Epilogue