Behind the Tears

By Marita A. Hansen

CONTENTS

Diary Extract

1 Beth

2 Dante

3 Sledge

4 Beth

5 Dante

6 Ash

7 Corey

8 Juliet

9 Ash

10 Dante

11 Sledge

12 Dante

13 Corey

14 Beth

15 Dante

16 Sledge

17 Ash

18 Juliet

19 Beth

20 Corey

21 Sledge

22 Corey

23 Ash

24 Sledge

25 Corey

26 Ash

27 Juliet

28 Sledge

29 Ash

30 Dante

31 Sledge

32 Ash

33 Dante

34 Ash

35 Dante

36 Sledge

37 Ash

About the Author

An extract from Behind the Hood.

An extract from Graffiti Heaven.

Copyright

Behind the Tears

(Behind the Lives #2)

Kindle Edition

Copyright 2012 © Marita A. Hansen

Edited by John Hudspith

Cover Art by Marita A. Hansen

Kindle Edition, License Notes

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means whatsoever without the written permission of the author, nor circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. For subsidiary rights enquiries email: marita.a.hansen@hotmail.com

All characters, names, places, and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual events, locales, or real persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

UK and Commonwealth English used due to the New Zealand setting.

Any other variation in spelling is also due to where the book is set, such as seen in the dialogue, which reflects the characters’ cultural and socio-economic backgrounds. This is why some characters use different speech patterns from others.

_________________

August 2010

_________________

27 Friday

Dear fucking diary,

There’s only one day until my parole hearing. I got my hair cut for it as though I’m going on a date with lady luck. And I definitely need some luck to get out of here. I’ve been in this hell hole for ten years now. Iron bars, concrete, and the constant worry that someone is going to shank me because they think I’m a paedo. But I’m not. If I was a paedo I wouldn’t still be interested in Ash. I wonder what he looks like now at twenty-five. I've been told he's tall and built like his father, although, from memory, he resembled his mother more. She was a pretty thing. I didn’t mean to kill her. I didn’t mean to hurt Ash either. I loved that boy. Still do. I want to make it up to him when I get out. If everything goes to plan, I’ll take him up north and we can start a new life—away from everyone, especially from Dante. God!!! It makes me want to trash my cell just thinking about Ash’s brother. I HATE that shite! He should be in fucking jail, not me! He brought the knife into the room, not me! If he hadn’t done that then his bloody mother wouldn’t have taken it off him and tried to stab me. All I did was defend myself, but because of Dante no one believed me. He even got up on the stand and cried, like he was some scared kid. Dante doesn’t cry; he has no fucking feelings. All he was doing was buying the jury’s sympathy. Everything is about Dante with him. He always did what he wanted and never thought about anyone but himself. I don’t regret hurting him one bit, not one fucking bit! I’d kick the shit out of him again in a heartbeat, destroy the little prick—or even better—I heard he looks like Ash now, which means he must be a right handsome fucker. Ha! I know exactly what I can do to the arsehole.

Chaz

1

Beth

Friday

Beth peered through the window of the police cell. Her boyfriend was pacing the small enclosure like a caged animal, the menace practically rolling off him. She wasn’t being melodramatic either; the blood on Ash’s knuckles and face adding to the effect along with his vicious glare. But despite the situation Ash was in, he wasn’t a criminal... Okay, maybe he was sort of, but it wasn’t like he was a bad one.

Ash’s angry gaze shifted to Beth, making her a little afraid of what was to come. Although she had no reason to be, because he’d never hurt her. He was just so... intense, yeah, that was the right word. It was thrilling at times, but also unnerving. He was definitely a hard man, but that was what attracted her to the oldest of the Rata brothers. And with the Māori-styled tattoo circling his neck, his wavy black hair and a body gift-wrapped in leather, he was definitely an impressive package. That sounded almost rude, although it was apt, because just looking at him got her we—

The police officer unlocked the cell. Beth stepped aside to allow Ash room to exit, tensing as he headed past. “I’ll see you at home,” Ash muttered, then disappeared through the gate further down the corridor. She continued to stare at the empty space he’d left behind, anger now mixing with disbelief. “A ‘thanks’ would’ve been nice,” she mumbled, wishing she’d said it before he’d left. He’d called her at work, making her close early, which she knew would get her into trouble with her boss.

“Thanks, Bethy-babe,” came a slurred response.

Beth turned to Ash’s brother. Dante was slumped on a bench inside the cell with his eyes half-closed. Despite his different tattoos, he looked the same as Ash, just with an irreverent personality and a smile that made her blush, like she’d gotten caught watching porn.

Beth went inside and coaxed him to stand.

Dante put an arm around her shoulders and got to his feet. “You love me,” he said as they walked out of the cell.

She wrinkled her nose. “Your breath stinks.”

“You still love me, everyone loves me.” He stopped outside the neighbouring cell and looked through the window. “Matty loves me; he said he’d suck my dick.” Dante raised his middle finger and placed it against the window. “Suck on this, twat-face!” He let go of Beth and staggered out of the holding area.

She followed him to the police counter, where a woman with a bruised face was yelling at a man, who was being forced into the holding area by two cops. A group of scruffy teenagers sat watching, their smiles suggesting they were high. Supposedly the worst neighbourhood in New Zealand, Claydon was situated on the south side of Auckland. The media portrayed it as gang-ridden, but Beth didn’t think it was that bad. Her workmates disagreed, saying she wouldn’t see trouble if it smacked her in the face, but they were wrong, they didn’t live here, plus she knew what trouble looked like, and right now it was staggering towards the front door of the police station.

Dante wobbled down the steps, looking like he was going to kiss the pavement at any moment. He laughed and wolf-whistled at a transvestite getting out of a police van. Beth apologised to the tranny, but the he-woman ignored her, instead blowing a kiss to Dante, who pretended to catch it and throw it back.

Beth steered Dante towards her car, momentarily distracted by the loud rock music blasting from the pub across the main road, where Dante would’ve gone earlier to fill up on booze and women.

“Bethy-babe,” Dante said, snapping her attention back to him. He leaned against her Volkswagen, giving her a devilish grin and again proving her point that he was trouble with a capital T. The street lights made his dark eyes shine like onyx, the Māori tattoo around his left one adding to his cheeky allure.

Allure.

If she’d used that word in front of her own brothers they would’ve put their fingers down their throats and gagged. They always complained about her “pukeable” use of language, saying that she lived in a world of romance novels.

Dante waggled his eyebrows comically and grabbed his crotch. “I wouldn’t say no to you.”

Beth refrained from smiling. “I would to you. And you’re lucky Ash didn’t hear you say that.”

He pulled a face. “I don’t care; you should be with me, not him.”

Beth hesitated, wondering whether he meant it, then shook her head, annoyed with herself for believing him. “You’re drunk, Dante, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

He lowered his head, peering out from under his messy hair. “Yes, I do, and I’ll say it again: you should be with me.”

Feeling uncomfortable, Beth remained in the same spot. He’d never said anything like that before, only harmlessly flirted, but Dante flirted with everyone, including guys who showed interest in him, although he wasn’t that way inclined. He just liked to tease, then would walk away when someone he didn’t want pressed for more.

Dante gave her a cheeky smile, then slid down the side of the car, landing hard on his rear, his drunken state cushioning the blow for now, although it would be sore tomorrow.

Yeah, the sod was teasing. She opened the front passenger door and helped him inside, pulling the seatbelt down to buckle him in.

He grabbed her and kissed her head, slurring, “I do love you,” into her hair, then let go, one of his hands dropping onto his lap.

Unnerved, Beth clicked on his seatbelt then removed herself from the car, stopping to look down at him. He appeared to have fallen asleep. She reached out to brush his hair away from the tattoo, her hand lingering on his skin longer than she knew she should. He moved his head to the side, making her retract her hand quickly. He remained asleep, his hair falling back over the tattoo.

She continued to watch him for a few moments, then closed his door and walked around the car, guilt making her shiver more than the cold night air. She got in the driver’s seat and started the engine, the car coughing and spluttering like a sick old lady.

Dante jolted awake, mumbling, “Where are we?”

“On our way home.” She pulled out onto the main road and headed for the roundabout, getting a feeling he was staring at her. She glanced at him, instantly regretting it. His dark gaze was latched onto her, his stare unflinching, as though he knew she’d touched him.

She focused on the road. “Why wuz Ash in jail with you?” Unlike Dante, it was a rarity for Ash to be picked up by the police.

“I called him for a lift. When he got to the pub he saw some underage kids being let in. He told the bouncer, but the prick just laughed and called the kids jailbait. Ash lost it, and attacked him. I tried to break it up, but the cops got the wrong idea and hauled us both in.”

“Dante,” she dragged out his name, exasperated with him. “You know he hates the pub, you should never have asked him for a lift.”

Looking guilty, Dante slumped in his seat. “I couldn’t get a hold of anyone else.”

“You could’ve taken a taxi.” Even though they didn’t live far from the pub, Dante had a bad habit of walking on busy roads when he was drunk, so she’d made him promise he’d always catch a ride home.

“I had no money left.”

“Then you shouldn’t have spent it all on booze,” she said, turning onto their road. “I distinctly told you to save some for a taxi fare before I went to work.”

“Sorry.”

Shaking her head, she drove into the driveway and parked on the grass next to Dante’s car, conscious not to block in Ash’s Chevy. The three-bedroom weatherboard house was shrouded in darkness, the street-lights on their road few and far between.

She got out of the car, and ran around to help Dante. She steered him inside the house and switched on the light. Her landscape paintings lined the lounge and adjoining dining-room walls, along with photos and a finely detailed portrait that Ash had drawn of his son, who he’d fathered at the age of sixteen, the little boy no longer living with him.

As Dante fumbled to get his boots off, she headed for her bedroom, surprised to find it locked. She knocked on the door. “Ash, lemme in.” No one answered. “Ash, open up.” Still no answer. She knocked again, now getting annoyed.

Dante brushed past her. She followed him to his room. He pulled off his jacket and threw it across his desk, the black singlet left behind showing off his inked skin. Māori tattoos with Croatian influences covered both biceps, the swirl of colours accentuating his muscular arms and captivating Beth’s attention. He fell onto the bed, breaking the spell.

Beth picked up his jacket and slipped it onto the back of his desk chair, smoothing it down. “Do ya know why Ash is angry at me? He’s locked me out.”

“I thought that wuz pretty obvious.”

“Well, obviously, it’s not.”

He grunted and sat up, giving her a filthy look, all sign of his earlier friendliness washed away. “Some girlfriend you are. You complain ’bout Ash not paying you enough attention, but you don’t even remember it’s Chaz’s parole hearing tomorrow.”

Beth inwardly cursed at the mention of Dante and Ash’s stepfather. She couldn’t believe she’d forgotten, but then again, the art gallery had been so busy the last couple of days that she’d barely had enough time to breathe, let alone think. “I took tomorrow off, so I didn’t completely forget,” she said, feeling bad.

“Good, cos he’ll need all your support if Chaz gets parole.”

“Isn’t there anything you can do to stop your stepfather from gettin’ out?”

“I’m goin’ to the hearing to give it a damn good try.”

“I didn’t think they allowed victims to attend that sort of thing.”

Dante winced. “Don’t call me that.”

“What?”

“A victim.”

“But, you are, and so is Ash. And what your stepfather did to your—”

“Don’t say it.”

...mother. Beth sat down next to Dante. “I wish Ash would talk to me more about what happened. I’ve been with him for a while now, yet all I know is that your stepfather beat you guys up and stabbed—”

“Shut up!”

Beth flinched, shocked by his sudden outburst. “I’m not rude to you, so don’t be rude to me.”

He moved his face up to hers, his breath reminding her that he was drunk. “What a load of bull. You called me a slut yesterday. I consider that rude.”

“I never called you that.”

“Liar, you were on the phone to your bro. I heard everything you said. You told him I wuz a slut, then complained ’bout me bringing women home. Well, it’s none of your bloody biz what I do—or who I do.”

More than embarrassed, she went to leave.

He grabbed her arm as she stood. “Why don’t you like me?”

Surprised by his question, she pulled her arm free. “I don’t dislike you,” far from it. I wouldn’t go out of my way to pick you up if I didn’t like you. I wouldn’t worry about you getting hurt all of the time, or feel sick when you bring horrible women home who aren’t good enough for you. She bit her lip to stop herself from saying it out loud.

“Bollocks, you can be a right bitch at times.”

She jerked back, feeling like he’d struck her. “Why’re you being so horrible? You were all nice before.”

He stood up. “I’m sick of being judged, plus you’re always sticking your nose into things that don’t concern you.”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

“I can talk to you however I please, considering this is my room.”

“And you wonder why I get annoyed with you?”

“I rarely say boo to you, yet you’re always giving me disapproving looks. So fire away, hit me with what you really think, Miss Prim and Proper.”

“Okay, you asked for it.” Beyond annoyed, she crossed her arms over her chest. “You constantly call me to get you out of jail, you’re always gettin’ drunk or high, and worse, I don’t know whether I’m gonna find some woman goin’ through my stuff. You won’t keep your hands to yourself, and you don’t ever think about consequences, you just do what you want, then everyone’s s’posed to forgive you cos you’re Dante, the—” she made quote marks with her fingers, “—‘loveable rogue.’ Well, I don’t think you’re loveable, you’re just an arsehole.”

Dante stared back at her with wide eyes. She didn’t know how a tough guy covered with tattoos could look like a puppy dog that had just been kicked, but right now he was making her feel guilty for her outburst.

Beth lifted her chin. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s true. I feel like kicking you sometimes you annoy me so much.”

“You do kick me sometimes.”

“Only when you get too handsy.”

“No other chick complains.”

“Cos they’re pro’bly sluts, like you.”

The two of them glared at each other for what seemed like ages, then a slow smile crept across Dante’s face. He undid his leather pants and pushed them down to his feet, his green underwear flashing at her to run. But she was too shocked to move.

He grabbed his crotch. “You better close your big mouth before I decide to fill it.”

“Dante! What’s wrong with you?”

“You!” He kicked his pants off, aiming them at her feet.

She stepped back, then spun around as he dropped his underwear. He walked past and grabbed the door handle, wearing only his singlet and socks. “The slut needs to wank, so unless you’re gonna gimme a helping hand, I suggest you leave.”

With her cheeks on fire, she took off out of his room. She ran into the lounge and closed the door, horrified with what Dante had done. She didn’t know why he had to be so in her face. She hadn’t meant for him to overhear her conversation, she’d just been so mad at him that day, after she’d found a female in the bathroom trying on her makeup. And it wasn’t like what she said wasn’t true, because almost every weekend he brought a different woman home, sometimes even more than one. She knew she shouldn’t judge him, but how could she not when he did things like that. And the noises that came from his room... Ugh! Calling him a slut was being polite.

When she was calm enough, she went back into the passage and knocked on her bedroom door, hoping Ash wasn’t going to make her sleep in the spare room. Shuffling sounded on the other side, then the door pulled open. She entered the room as Ash got back into bed. After shutting the door, she undressed and slipped under the covers, cuddling against his bare back. She didn’t want to tell him about what Dante had done, plus he had much more important things on his mind, things she wished he’d confide in her about.

“I’m sorry I forgot ’bout the parole hearing, but at least I didn’t forget to take tomorrow off. We can do whatever you want...” She hesitated. “Or we could stay home, and you can tell me more about what happened with your stepfather. It might help to talk about it, cos I know it’s been bothering you lately. You’ve been yelling in your sleep again.”

His body tensed.

“C’mon, Ash, please don’t keep me in the dark. Half the time, I only learn things by accident, like when Dante let slip ’bout your suicide attempt. I know it happened a long time ago, but I wish you had told me, not him.”

“We’ve already been over this,” he said, sounding more exasperated than angry. “And I’m tired.”

Tired of me? Upset, she removed her arm from around his waist and turned over, wishing he needed her like Dante seemed to. Even though Dante had been a right beep tonight, at least he didn’t ignore her. Sometimes she wondered whether Ash even loved her.

Dante’s earlier words came to mind, ‘I do love you.’

“I love you too,” she whispered. I love you both.

2

Dante

Saturday

Dante walked gingerly along the corridor that led to the parole hearing, wincing as he pushed through a crowd of noisy people. Every shove and shout reverberated up the back of his neck, reaching through to punch the shit out of his brain. Having had so many hangovers, he would’ve thought he could cope with them better, but no, experience didn’t weaken the effect of a pounding headache.

He veered into the men’s toilets, his mouth drier than a used up whore. He stopped in front of a hand-basin and bent over to drink from the tap. When his thirst was satisfied, he glanced up, stopping when he saw his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot with dark rings shadowing them, making him look way older than twenty-three. He’d only intended on a few drinks last night, enough to take the edge of things, but what he intended was never related to what he did.

He splashed water over his face, getting some on his good suit. He swore and wiped at it, then gave up, resigned that today was going to be crap no matter what he did. He headed out of the men’s and cut across the corridor, stopping in front of a policewoman, who was blocking the entrance to the courtroom.

“I’m here for Chaz... I mean Charles Greenwood’s parole hearing,” Dante said, looking down at the paper in her hand, assuming it was a list. “I’m Dante Rata, his stepson.”

The policewoman checked the paper then opened the door, indicating for Dante to enter. He headed inside, surprised by how empty the courtroom was. Except for two policemen standing in front of a glass barrier, the public gallery was unoccupied.

Dante stopped in the middle of the aisle, and looked through the glass. On the other side, three people sat behind a long table, their suits and airs of importance suggesting they were the parole board. A voice caught his attention, someone calling out Ash’s name. Dante’s gaze shifted to a box on the parole board’s left, where a blond man in handcuffs stood with a guard. It took Dante a few seconds to realise the man in prison greys was his stepfather. Of course he knew Chaz was attending, but to actually see the man—a remote memory from his childhood—was still a shock, something that didn’t feel real.

Chaz’s gaze bore into Dante, his expression almost happy. A scar ran down his right cheek, while two teardrop tats sat under his left eye. Dante stared at the tattoos, their meaning sickening him. They had been forced upon his stepfather by fellow inmates to mark him as a paedophile—an old New Zealand meaning, and something that Dante wouldn’t have known if Ash hadn’t told him. Since he was a fan of the rapper Lil Wayne, he’d only heard of the American definitions, one of them symbolising the loss of a loved one through violence. And because he’d lost his mother, he’d wanted to get them done, but luckily he’d told Ash, his brother stopping him from making one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

The middle-aged woman seated at the long table spoke into a microphone, “Please take a seat, the parole hearing will commence now.”

Dante took the first chair on his left, using his hand to lower himself down. Although he felt revulsion, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the man who’d caused so much pain for his family.

The woman, who he assumed must be the judge, resumed talking, “As you’ve been informed, it is unusual for victims and offenders to attend a parole hearing at the same time, but due to the request made by the Rata family and agreed to by Mr. Greenwood, we have decided to allow the proceedings to go forth in this manner. However, there are certain rules to adhere to, the main one, as stipulated in the information provided, is that no one is to interrupt this hearing, otherwise they will be escorted from the room. Now, let’s proceed.” She focused on Chaz. “Charles Andrew Greenwood, in the time you’ve served, do you feel you’ve been rehabilitated?”

“Yes, Ma’am, I...” Chaz’s gaze shifted back to Dante. “I’m truly sorry for what I did to my family. I’ve regretted it every day since that night. Not cos I was imprisoned, but cos I hurt the people I love.”

Dante cursed under his breath, willing himself to stay seated. His stepfather didn’t love his family otherwise he wouldn’t have torn them apart.

The door behind Dante opened and closed, but he kept his eyes fixed on Chaz, wishing he could bash down the barrier and attack the sick bastard. He’d yank him out of the box and kick him on the floor, not stopping until ribs popped and cracked, then he’d take a knife and stab him like Chaz had done to his mother. No, he wouldn’t just stab him, he’d gut him, making it as painful as possible, and drawing it out so his stepfather could understand a fraction of the pain he’d caused his family.

As though he could read Dante’s mind, Chaz’s expression tensed. “I never meant to harm anyone, and especially not you, Ash.”

“I’m not Ash, you sick fuck!” Dante snapped, unable to hold back at the mention of his brother.

The judge leaned into the microphone. “Sir, please do not reply to any comments unless the parole board asks you.”

Dante got to his feet. “Then lemme say my piece now so I can leave,” because he couldn’t stomach looking at Chaz a second longer. He thought he could handle it, but now understood why Ash had backed out.

“This is not how things are carried out in a parole hearing.”

“I only need a few minutes, or don’t victims have a voice?”

“You’re allowed to speak, just at the appropriate time.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t just sit here while he tells you lies.”

The woman’s face softened, but her tone remained clipped, like a school teacher speaking to a naughty child who wouldn’t listen. “I understand your predicament, sir, but—”

“Then don’t give him parole. Ten years is nuthin’ compared to what my family got. My mother is dead cos of him, that’s a lifetime for us.”

“The rules—”

“I don’t give a shit ’bout your rules!” Dante shouted, instantly regretting his outburst.

The woman got to her feet. “Mr. Rata, please leave of your own accord or you will be escorted out,” she said, indicating to the policemen.

When Dante didn’t make a move, the cops headed for him. He glared at them, furious they were touching their batons. He knew what they were thinking, that he was a gang-member, the Māori tattoo around his left eye most likely leading to their assumption. He wasn’t a victim in their eyes, but a perp just waiting to be arrested and put on the other side of the barrier in Chaz’s place.

Dante pointed at Chaz. “That bastard raped my brother, yet you’re looking at me like I’m the criminal?”

“What?” someone gasped from the back of the courtroom.

Dante’s head shot around, shocked to see his younger brother sitting by the door. He’d told Sledge not to come, because Ash hadn’t wanted him knowing about the rape. When the attack had happened ten years ago, Sledge had been staying with their grandparents. And since he’d been only eight at the time, all he’d been told was that their stepfather had killed their mother, the whys and wherefores too hard to explain to a child.

Sledge got to his feet, his tall frame dressed in brown leathers. “Chaz raped Ash?”

Dante headed for Sledge, dread and his hangover bringing him close to throwing up. “Yes.”

Looking both stunned and horrified, Sledge’s gaze shifted to Chaz. “Now it makes sense. The way Ash acts, why he’s so violent. You did that to him,” he said to Chaz.

Chaz screwed up his face. “I didn’t mean to—”

Dante spun around, furious at Chaz’s excuse. “Bullshit! You drugged him. He wuz so sick he had to be hospitalised.” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the parole board being shuffled out of the room, while the prison guard opened the door behind Chaz.

“I didn’t know the roofie would do that,” Chaz said.

“You’re not sorry at all,” Dante barked. “You only regret gettin’ caught. You should never be let outta prison, cos you’d do the exact same thing to some other kid.”

“I’m not a paedo—” Chaz’s words were cut short as the guard forcibly removed him through the doorway.

Dante went for the other door, desperate to escape his past, present—everything. Panic throbbed in his chest as he entered the corridor. There were too many people blocking his path, slowing him down. He needed air, space, hated being surrounded by people, pushed against, unable to get free. People started to veer out of his way, his swearing no doubt scaring them, although it was something he couldn’t control during an episode. He shot through the entrance and jumped down the steps, cursing himself for not having taken his bipolar meds, something which usually stopped him from losing it. He needed to calm down quick, to find something good to centre his mind on before it fractured apart... Beth, think of Beth.

Someone grabbed his arm from behind. Dante spun around, ready to slam his fist into whoever it was, but stopped short when he saw Sledge. He tapped his brother hard on the forehead, still too amped to control himself, even though guilt instantly hit him back for doing it. “Don’t you ever listen? I told you not to come.”

Sledge batted his hand away, his hard features looking close to cracking. “I have every right to be here, he killed my mother too!”

Dante put his hands to his head, the pain in his brother’s voice making him feel even more ashamed. “I’m sorry, I can’t handle this.”

“And you think I can?” Sledge said. “Why the hell wuzn’t I told ’bout Ash?”

“He didn’t want cha knowing.”

“I have a right to know just as much as you do.”

“You were only eight at the time.”

“I’m not a kid anymore. It’s been ten years for fuck’s sake.”

“It’s too hard for Ash to talk about.”

“Then you should’ve told me.”

“I understand you’re upset, but I promised to keep it a secret. He hates people knowing—”

“And he hates me.”

Dante frowned. “No, he doesn’t. Why would ja say that for?”

“Cos it’s true. He’s always treated me differently, like I’m not part of the family. That’s pro’bly why he never told me ’bout the rape.”

“That’s a load of crock and you know it. He’s looked after you for the past few years, put a roof over your head, fed you, but you never acknowledge any of that.”

“Well, I ain’t ever living with him again, cos he’s a violent sonofabastard.”

“He’s not that bad.”

“He bashed the living shit outta me!”

“Cos you and Tama viciously attacked his friend.”

“I wuz defending my mates.”

A flash of something in Dante’s peripheral vision made him stop talking. Dante’s gaze shifted to the court building, the stone walls as formidable as the two cops watching them from the entrance. He hadn’t noticed them standing there before. He wondered what they’d heard, and whether anything he’d said could get Sledge arrested.

Sledge’s upset gaze followed Dante’s, the look on his face now afraid. “I’ve gotta go.”  Sledge spun around and took off across the car park, heading for his motorbike.

Dante thought about going after him, but instead walked to his car, knowing Sledge needed some time to process everything—and for him to do the same. He got into his Holden and backed out, dreading telling Ash about what had gone down.

After a short drive, Dante turned into his driveway and parked next to Beth’s pink Volkswagen. He remained behind the wheel for several minutes, just staring at her car, wishing for things to be different. Exhaling, he pushed open the door and trudged across the lawn, getting mud all over his good shoes. He kicked them off at the front door, then unlocked the house and headed for Ash and Beth’s bedroom.

“Ash, are you awake?” he called out, giving the door a knock.

Voices started up on the other side, too soft for him to make out.

“Ash, I needa talk to you,” Dante said, putting his ear to the door. He could just hear Beth say, “It could be good news.” He wished it was. “Please, Ash, it’s important.”

When no one answered, he headed for his own room, feeling exhausted and wrung out. He pulled off his jacket and threw it onto the bed, then unbuttoned his shirt.

“Dante?”

Dante turned around. Dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, Ash stood in the doorway, his body as rigid as a statue. “Did Chaz get parole?”

Dante shook his head.

Looking relieved, Ash ran a hand through his messy black hair. “You had me goin’ there for a sec. With your expression, I thought he’d been given it for sure.”

“I don’t know if he got out or not. I got asked to leave.”

Ash dropped his hand. “Why?”

“I yelled at Chaz and unintentionally insulted the judge.”

“Bloody hell, Dante, I did tell ya not to go.”

“I had to, plus...” Dante cringed at his next words. “...if I hadn’t gone, Sledge would’ve been there alone.”

“Sledge?” Realisation flashed across Ash’s face. “You—”

Dante cut him off, desperate to explain himself. “I didn’t know he wuz there until it wuz too late.”

“You promised to keep him away!” Ash yelled, his expression telling Dante he was beyond reasoning with.

“I had no control over what happened.”

Ash’s jaw flexed, the anger in his eyes making Dante nervous. “Calm down, Ash, Sledge doesn’t think any less of you cos of it.”

“He fuckin’ hates me.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Dante said, not knowing whether it was true or not.

Ash lifted his hands to his head, then before Dante knew what was happening his brother rammed a fist into the wall. Beth screamed in the passage, causing Ash to freeze, then he spun around and headed for the bathroom.

Dante followed, stopping in the doorway as Ash got into the shower fully clothed. Ash turned on the tap and slid down the wall, tilting his head backwards. Water cascaded down his cheeks like a curtain of tears.

Dante closed the door, blocking Beth from getting in. “He needs to be left alone.”

“No, I wanna be with him,” she said, looking distressed.

Dante gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “Give him a bit of space. He’ll come out when he’s ready.”

“What happened?”

“He’s upset over Sledge being at the parole hearing.”

“Why? Sledge has a right to be there.”

“Just go back to your room and wait for Ash,” Dante said, unable to tell her more, because Ash had also kept the rape a secret from her too.

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Cos it’s got nuthin’ to do with you.”

Her eyes flashed with anger. “Everything to do with Ash is my concern.”

“Not this, it’s family stuff.”

“I’m part of the family now.”

“No you’re not, you’re just a girlfriend.”

She shoved him. “And you’re just an arsehole!” She stormed into her room, slamming the door so hard it rattled on its frame.

Wincing, Dante returned to his room, his head still pounding. He closed his door and pulled open the top drawer of his cabinet, surprised when he couldn’t find his meds. Stuff it, he’d look for them later, and anyway, he needed aspirin more. He stripped off his clothes, changing into jeans and a singlet, then headed for the kitchen, stopping at Beth’s door as she poked her head out of the room. He went to say sorry, but got the door slammed in his face again. Frustrated, he leaned his head against the wood panelling, again wishing for things to be different—and for someone he couldn’t have.

3

Sledge

Sledge steered the motorbike into his driveway just as his mate got out of a battered blue Ford. He’d been driving around for the past hour, trying to get himself under control. God, Ash had been raped! That had blown him away, making his stomach twist up so bad that it physically hurt. He’d felt nothing but rage at what his stepfather had done to Ash. But as he neared his new home, his sanctuary away from Ash, the bashing his brother had inflicted upon him filtered back in, making him feel like he shouldn’t give the bastard any sympathy. But how could he not?

Sledge removed his helmet and got off the motorbike, trying to pretend that everything was alright, that he wasn’t hurting inside. His mate didn’t need to know, Corey had enough of his own problems to contend with. Corey walked towards him, self-consciously tugging at his beanie as though the wind was going to whip it away. Due to chemotherapy, Corey rarely took it off, too embarrassed over his hair falling out.

A smirk spread across Corey’s face. “You look like a gay dude’s wet dream in those leathers.”

Not in the mood for Corey’s smart-mouth, Sledge flicked him the finger.

“Sheesh, what got stuck up your arse?”

“An annoying li’l shit called Corey.”

Corey laughed. “I knew you dreamt about my cock.”

Resisting the urge to punch Corey, Sledge stalked past his mate. He headed towards the weather-beaten bungalow. After the big fight with Ash, he’d decided to flat with his twin sister and the Connor brothers. They’d found a cheap rental in Claydon backing onto the beach. It was pretty run-down, a skeleton of a place that should’ve been demolished years ago, but the view of Manukau Harbour and the smell of salt air made it worth his dole money.

Corey followed him, singing, “Macho, macho man...” then ran in front of Sledge, his grin still firmly set in place. “Didja go to the YMCA?”

“Stop being a cunt.”

“Nope, I don’t have one of those. So, where ja go?”

“None of your business.”

Corey stopped suddenly, almost causing Sledge to bang into him, the worry in his mate’s hazel eyes replacing the humour that had been there a few seconds ago. “You better not have gone to Stella’s house again,” Corey said, sounding sulky. “You promised.”

Sledge sidestepped him and climbed the steps to the front porch, muttering, “I didn’t, and I don’t even remember goin’ to her place, so lay offa me.” He knew it was a lame excuse, but he’d been upset over his grandmother dying and had gone to the pub by himself, wanting to get so blotto he wouldn’t remember a thing. And it played out that way, until Stella woke him up the next morning, her means of rousing him definitely memorable. He wondered why Tama thought the chick was a lousy lay, because he sure as fuck didn’t think so. Just thinking about what she’d done to him made his balls tingle, and if she hadn’t caused so much trouble for his mates, he probably would’ve hooked up with her again. Yeah, he most definitely would’ve, he liked skinny chicks—a lot.

“You’re just like Dante—a slut,” Corey said, snapping Sledge’s attention back to him.

“You cheeky li’l bastard, don’t you dare call Dante that—or me.”

Corey crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his chin up, looking like his older sister when she got mad, although Corey was a much shorter and paler version of Beth. “If the condom fits, wear it.”

“I don’t sleep with that many chicks, and if I did, so what? There’s nuthin’ wrong with sex. It’s you religious types who have a problem with it, slut-shaming people who enjoy what your so-called God gave them.”

“I’m not religious and I have no probs with sex.”

Sledge walked down the steps and flicked the cross on Corey’s chest. “Not religious, eh?”

Corey looked sullen. “It’s not like I go to church anymore, they don’t like my type there. Apparently, I should burn in hell for what I am.”

“Cos you’re a druggie?”

“Are you naturally stupid or do ya hafta work at it?”

Sledge closed his eyes and breathed in, then slowly exhaled. He’d rather run full pelt into a brick wall than lash out at his mate. Once calm enough, he re-opened his eyes.

Corey’s eyebrows pulled together. “You alright, Sledge?”

“I will be once you stop slagging off me and my brother.”

Corey shrugged. “You walked right into it, and I have no probs with Dante, I’m just sick of Beth whinging ’bout him and Ash.” He put on a breathy female voice, “Ash ignores me; he’s always goin’ off and brooding, while Dante brings home horrible women, and does God only knows what to them in his bedroom.” Corey changed back to his own voice. “He fucks them, Beth. F.U.C.K.” His voice reverted back to Beth’s. “Don’t say that! That’s a horrible word.”

Sledge shook his head. “Put on a wig and skirt and people will think you’re Beth.”

“Her butt’s way bigger.” Corey punched Sledge’s arm, then swiped the keys off him.

Sledge’s eyes lowered to Corey’s butt as his mate walked up the steps, thinking Corey was definitely right. Over the past few months, Corey had lost a considerable amount of weight, the chemo reducing him to a whisper of his former self.

Corey’s baggy jeans and boxers slipped down as he went to unlock the door, his mate giving Sledge an eyeful.

Sledge laughed. “Dude, you’re mooning me. Pull up your pants before my sis jumps your skinny arse.”

Corey grabbed his pants and turned around, his grin resurfacing. “Too late, I did her last night. See, I told ja I had no probs with sex. Booyah!”

Sledge’s face screwed up in disgust. “Dammit, Corey! I told ja not to touch her.”

Corey’s voice went high as he started moving his crotch back and forth, “Oh, Corey, you’re so damned good, fuck me harder—”

“Quit it!”

Corey started laughing, then stopped as the front door flung open from the inside. His smile disappeared at the sight of Sledge’s twin sister glaring out at him. She looked like a vicious pit bull ready to rip him apart.

“I told ja not to tell him!” Juliet hollered.

Corey pulled a face, then his grin was back in full force, although Sledge knew this one was fake, the tension in his mate’s neck a dead giveaway. “Yeah, sorry ’bout that, but in my defence, I kept my mouth shut for...” Corey glanced at his watch, “...thirteen hours. That’s gotta be a record.” His smile dropped as Juliet continued to glare at him. “Don’t hit me, hit Sledge, he made me talk.”

Juliet’s gaze shifted to Sledge. She was dressed in black pants and a T, the uniform for her new job at the art gallery where Beth managed. But unlike Corey’s sister, the uniform did Juliet no favours, her body too solid. “I did nuthin’ wrong,” she said. “He came onto me.”

Sledge knew why she was worried. He’d given her a slap around for getting his other mate into deep shit with Ash after Tama had turned her down.

“It’s true,” Corey said.

Sledge took the steps two at a time, and pushed past them to get inside. Fuck, he was pissed with Corey for touching Juliet. He’d told both of the Connor brothers that his sis was off-limits. Plus, Juliet didn’t deserve Corey; his mate was far too good for the munter.

Sledge entered his bedroom and shut the door on Corey’s face. The door reopened and Corey stepped inside. Sledge ignored him, and closed the blinds. His room was small and sparsely furnished with a single bed and a dresser. Posters of Bruce Lee and half-naked women brightened up the walls, while a single light-bulb hung from the ceiling, missing his head by only a few inches.

“Sledge, mate, gimme a break,” Corey said, moving in front of Sledge. “I couldn’t help it, she’s pretty.”

“Pretty?” Sledge stared at Corey in disbelief. “The only way Juliet could be called pretty is if you put ugly after it.”

“God, you’re a shithead.”

“Watch your mouth.”

“Or what, you’ll punch it? Go on then.” Corey moved closer, angling his face up to Sledge’s. Being vertically challenged and with a face that made grandmas coo, Corey looked as intimidating as a stoned chipmunk.

“Piss off.” Sledge pulled off his jacket and T, throwing them on his bed.

Corey’s eyes flicked between Sledge and the bed. Sledge sat down and yanked off his boots, wondering what Corey’s issue was. Agro one second; embarrassed the next. Well, he didn’t have time to baby him; he had to get ready for his job interview. Ever since Tama had been thrown into prison he wanted to get work there, so he could make sure his mate was safe. At the moment Tama was probably alright, but once his stepfather was released from prison, Sledge wasn’t so confident it would stay that way, Tama’s ability to insult people knowing no limits.

Frustrated, Sledge threw his boots at the wardrobe. But then again, what was the bloody point of going? There was no way they’d give him a job, especially since the application pack had said there would be tests. He’d always been useless at school, having to do Year Eleven twice.

Sledge leaned his back against the wall and focused on Corey, who was now facing the door. “C’mon, Corey, there’s no use gettin’ upset. It’s just ... you’re far too good-lookin’ for that ugly cow. You could get any chick. So, why the hell would ja want Juliet for?”

Corey turned around. “You reckon I’m good-lookin’?”

Sledge smiled. “Well, you’re prettier than Juliet, but that ain’t saying much.”

A slow grin spread across Corey’s face. He started to sing and wiggle his butt about, making his jeans fall down again. “You think I’m pretty, you think I’m sexy, I betcha wanna do me—”

“Stoppit, you sick moron.” Sledge grabbed a pillow and threw it at Corey. It hit Corey’s face, making Sledge laugh. “And pull up your pants; I don’t wanna see your Pākehā arse.”

“I’m not a Pākehā!” Corey picked up the pillow and threw it back with more force. His mate always reacted when people called him the Māori word often used for white people. Because of Corey’s pale Irish complexion, he’d been bullied at school, taunted with the word Pākehā. Even though Corey was half Cook Islands Māori, he didn’t look it, well, maybe apart from his full lips.

“Sorry, man, it slipped out,” Sledge said. “I didn’t mean it as an insult like those pricks at school.”

Corey nodded and sat down on the bed. “And I’m sorry ’bout your sis. I should’ve kept it a secret, but I wanted to tell someone, cos she’s my first.”

“Your first what?”

“Bang.” Corey moved his crotch forward.

“Is not; we fucked that chick together.”

“Talk about shit for memories. We roasted her. I got heads, you got tails.”

“But, what about that other chick you said you fucked?”

Corey’s face reddened. “I lied to get Tama off my back.” Corey moved up the bed, and leaned against the wall, his shoulder pressing into Sledge’s arm. “He wuz always calling me a fag, cos I didn’t hit on chicks.”

“That’s cos you’re shy round them.”

“I ain’t shy, it just didn’t bother me that they weren’t interested. I wuz so damned fat back then that I could hardly blame them for not wanting me.”

“Shit, it would’ve bothered me.”

Corey shrugged. “I had my mates, plus you were always there.”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t do without pussy.”

Corey grimaced. “I could. That blowjob I got wuz way better.”

Sledge glared at Corey. “Watch your mouth. You’re talking ’bout my sis, you perverted freak.”

“No, Juliet didn’t blow—” Realisation dawned on Corey’s face. “Oh crap, sorry, you meant her pussy.”

“God! That’s why I didn’t want you anywhere near her, cos I knew this shit would happen.”

“I only went with Juliet cos she looks...” Corey’s face dropped, then he tugged his beanie over his eyes.

“Cos she looks, what?”

“Forget it.”

Sledge pulled back the beanie. “No, tell me.”

“Don’t touch it!” Corey grabbed his beanie and jumped off the bed.

“Why won’t cha tell me?”

“Cos I’d lose you as a mate.”

“Why?”

Corey took off.

Sledge followed him into the passage, getting Corey’s door slammed in his face. He yanked it open and stalked into Corey’s bedroom. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Corey spun around. “Get outta my room!”

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong. You were all happy a moment ago, now you look like you’re gonna cry.”

Corey covered his eyes. “I wanna move out.”

Sledge went still. “What? Why?”

“This ain’t working.”

“Yes, it is.”

Corey pulled his beanie completely down, hiding half of his face, only his lips visible.

“Shit, don’t get upset.” Sledge reached out for Corey, pulling him into a hug.

His mate stiffened for a moment, then leaned into Sledge. “I’m scared.”

“’Bout the radiotherapy?”

Corey hesitated, then nodded.

Sledge placed his cheek on Corey’s head and tightened his grip. He was scared about that too. No, he was terrified; he couldn’t take it if Corey died. “You’ll be alright.”

A female voice cut through the room. “What the hell?”

Sledge let go of Corey fast. He glanced over at Juliet, who was standing in the doorway, staring at him in disbelief. “Corey wuz upset,” Sledge said, feeling awkward, like he’d been caught doing something wrong. Juliet continued to stare. “What?” Sledge said. “Guys are allowed to hug too.”

“Not like that.”

“Yes, they do, so fuck off!”

Juliet jolted, then disappeared around the corner.

Refocusing on Corey, Sledge lifted up his mate’s beanie. Corey kept his gaze down, his cheeks bright red. “I’ve gotta get ready for the job interview,” Sledge said. “Will ya promise to be here when I get back?”

Corey nodded.

Sledge patted Corey’s cheek softly. “Things will work out, Corey. I promise.” Sledge turned and walked out of the room, not sure what just happened.

4

Beth

Ash lay on their bed, still shivering from the shower, his dark eyes staring into nothing. It was freaking Beth out, because no matter what she said he didn’t respond. She’d seen him act like this before, but he’d had an excuse then, he’d self-medicated after a nasty fight, the drugs causing him to space out.

Beth pulled the blanket further over him. “Please tell me why Sledge being at the hearing upset you.”

He remained silent.

“I wanna help, Ash, but I can’t if you keep shutting me out.” When he didn’t reply, she prodded him. “Say sumpthin’, anything.” She waited a few seconds then jumped off the bed. “I don’t understand why you can’t talk to me! It makes me feel useless, like I’m nuthin’ to you.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely audible.

She went still, surprised he’d answered her, then she lowered herself back down to the bed. “What did Sledge do?”

“Nuthin’.”

“Ash, don’t fob me off.” She waited for a moment then spoke again. “Please tell me.”

“It’s personal.”

“Then you should be able to tell me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Just leave me alone.”

“Not until you tell me.”

He turned over, facing away from her.

“Ash, stop ignoring me.”

He pulled the blanket over his head.

“God, you frustrate me!” She got up and stormed out of the room, too angry to deal with him anymore. As she entered the dining-room, Dante glanced up from his mug of coffee. He was seated at the white Formica table, tapping one of the packages in front of him. He dropped his gaze, giving her the impression he was ignoring her too.

She tightened the belt on her kimono, yanking it so hard she thought it might snap. “You two are always hiding things from me. Well, stuff you both.” She stalked into the kitchen and poured herself some coffee, her hand shaking badly. She felt guilty for getting mad at them when they were both upset, but she was just so... Gah! It was like Ash and Dante lived in their own world, which she wasn’t a part of, just a guest overstaying her welcome.

Coffee spilt on her hand, scolding it. She cursed and stuck it under the tap. She didn’t normally lose her cool, but it seemed to be one thing after the other with Ash. And he thought she was the dramatic one. It would’ve been laughable if it didn’t make her want to cry, because she couldn’t do anything right with him.

Dante coughed. Beth looked over the breakfast bar at the back of his head, his hair the same messy waves as Ash’s. Tension ran across his shoulders, his back ramrod straight. He was tapping the table now, the tempo getting more and more agitated.

She finished rinsing her hand and wiped it on a towel, then picked up her mug and took it to the other end of the table. She sat down, and looked across at Dante. He was staring at the passage doorway as though he was willing Ash to walk through it. Her eyes wandered over his face, so similar to his brother’s, the age difference not noticeable. It was probably because Dante lived life harder; always at one party or another, snorting drugs or downing beer like it was soft drink.

Dante turned to look at Beth. She quickly dropped her gaze, hoping he didn’t think she’d been staring. Usually she was more careful when she observed him, but her emotions were all over the place at the moment, unguarded and strung out. Still, she shouldn’t be looking at him—at all, and especially not at a time like this. But she couldn’t help it! Lately, she’d been wondering what things would’ve been like if she’d asked him out instead of Ash, because he also fascinated her—which was driving her insane. She could be furious with him, but still find herself wanting to touch his hair ... his lips ... his body... She dug her nails into her legs to stop her thoughts.

The slamming of a door made her jump. Ash entered the dining-room, leathered up and with his dark sunglasses on, looking ready for work as though nothing had happened. He snatched the packages off the table and grabbed the keys off the breakfast bar, muttering to Dante, “Gotta use your car, mine crapped out last night.” Before she knew it, he’d disappeared out the front door.

Resisting the urge to cry, Beth covered her eyes. But it was her own fault for getting involved with him, because he’d always been slightly removed from everyone, preferring his own company over others. Plus, her brothers had warned her not to hook up with him, Corey being the most vocal of the two, saying that Ash was a thug and a few other unmentionables. She knew Corey hated Ash because of how he treated Sledge, but Ash wasn’t always harsh on Sledge, and when he did completely lose his rag it was only over something serious. In the time she’d been with him that had only happened twice. She frowned, knowing she was making excuses again, because whatever Ash’s reasons for hurting Sledge were, they still didn’t make his behaviour right.

Her curtain of hair was brushed aside, startling her. She glanced up to find Dante leaning over the table. His hand ran down her cheek, his expression concerned. “You alright?”

She stared at him, totally taken aback. No guy had ever looked at her in that way, like they truly cared—and especially not Ash.

“Beth?”

Dante’s voice snapped her back to reality. “Don’t touch me,” she said, smacking his hand away.

“Sorry. You looked upset.”

She glared at him, willing herself to ignore his wounded expression. “Why couldn’t you do the delivery today?”

“You know why I can’t go to the Joneses’ house.”

Yeah, she damn well knew why Dante couldn’t deliver there. “Then you shouldn’t have slept with Deano’s wife.”

“Why do ya always hafta bring that up? It happened ages ago, and I told ja enough times that I don’t remember nuthin’ ’bout that night.”

“Cos you were off your face—as usual.”

“It’s none of your business what I do—”

“—or who you do,” she finished his sentence. “I don’t need reminding, and you’re wrong, cos it is my business when Ash has to clean up after you.”

Looking sullen, Dante leaned back in his chair. “I wouldn’t have done Carly if I wuzn’t shitfaced.”

“Another pathetic excuse.” Her eyes widened at Dante’s furious expression, his change from apologetic to angry far too sudden.

“I shouldn’t hafta make excuses to you!” he yelled. “You’re not my girlfriend.”

“I-I...”

He sneered. “You’re the pathetic one, hanging around Ash when he obviously doesn’t want you.”

Anger grasped Beth so tight it felt like Dante was squeezing her throat, making her want to scream at him for release, because he was right, she knew it deep down inside that Ash didn’t want her. “What would you know?! You don’t have a clue ’bout my relationship with Ash or about relationships full stop. All you do is have sex, and when you’re not doin’ some floozy, then you’re off drinking, snorting or doin’ the lot. You’re a bloody loser, leeching off your brother!”

Dante got to his feet, pushing his chair backwards, the crash resounding through the room. “I’m not a loser! I pull my weight round this place. For fuck’s sake, ever since Nike quit working for us, I’ve been the one dealing with the cokeheads.” He pointed a finger at her. “And I can fuck whoever I damn well please, it has got nuthin’ to do with you. And why the hell would you care anyway?”

“I-I don’t,” she said, shocked by his reaction. His right hand was fisting as though he wanted to slam into her face, her chest, her heart... She got up and moved around the table, using it as a barrier between them. He followed, making her back up into the glass sliding door. She lifted her hands instinctively. He pushed them down and moved in close—too close, and not like she wanted, his intimidating stance far from erotic. She’d seen him do this to people he wanted to scare, and right now, she knew it worked.

He bared his teeth. “Just cos you think I’m shit, doesn’t mean other females do.”

“I di-didn’t mean...” She flinched as he raised a hand.

He placed it on the glass door. “And you think I’m vulgar? At least I don’t scream my head off so the whole neighbourhood can hear me fucking.”

Feeling ashamed, Beth dropped her gaze. She’d wanted Dante to hear her having sex—wanted to turn him on. She didn’t know how she could do that to Ash, even more so because she loved him, but ... she loved Dante too. She’d never loved two guys at the same time before, didn’t think it was possible until she’d met the Ratas.

“Look at me,” Dante growled.

Beth shook her head.

“Am I that repulsive?” he said, running a finger between her breasts, parting her kimono.

Beth breathed in sharply, shocked that he was touching her so intimately.

His thumb brushed her hard nipple. “Looks like that’s a no.”

A thrill ran through her body, her reaction to his touch terrifying her just as much as his expression. “Don’t touch me!” she said, pushing his hand away.

A mean smile played across his lips. “I don’t believe it, you’re actually turned on.” His hand moved to her other nipple.

She slapped it away. “It’s cold, you arrogant jerk.”

His eyes danced with amusement. “You remind me of a chick I used to know. She insulted me all the time. You wanna know how I got her to stop?” When Beth didn’t reply, he lowered his head, so close that she thought he was going to kiss her. He stopped within a breath of her mouth. “I fucked her. Is that why you insult me? You want me to fuck you?”

“No,” she said, her voice barely a squeak.

“Say it with more feeling.”

She shoved at his chest, desperate to get distance between them. “I wouldn’t have sex with you.”

“I didn’t say you would, just that you want to.”

I do! Fuck, I do! Please go away...

He ran a hand down her leg.

Go away!

“No answer?” he said as his fingers delved under her kimono. “So, how do you want it? Hard or brutal? Yeah, brutal, cos you’re a screamer.”

“Don’t touch me,” she said too softly, his hand distracting her.

“Don’t touch me,” he mimicked as his hand parted her thighs. “Say it with more feeling, slut.”

“I’m not a slut!”

“Then don’t call me one either!” he yelled in her face.

No longer able to take it, she shoved at his chest again, screaming out when it made no difference, “You are a slut!”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Liar! I don’t screw everyone in sight, not caring if they belong to someone else.”

He flinched. “I’m not a cheat.”

“Did I hit a nerve?” she said, feeling triumph she’d found something that upset him.

“No.”

“Say it with more feeling, slut,” she said, flinging his words back at him.

“I’m not a slut!”

“Yes, you are! You screwed Deano’s wife right in front of me, on the same bloody bed!”

He jerked back. “What?”

She swallowed down her fear, the memory still humiliating her. “I wuz at that party. I felt sick, so I went to lie down. I woke up to find you having sex with that horrible woman right next to me.”

A whoosh of air left his mouth, like she’d punched him in the gut—or shot him in the heart. He took a step back and shook his head, his eyes pleading with her to tell him it wasn’t true. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, neither one of them saying a word. Beth finally broke the silence, her discomfort growing with every breath.

“I thought you did it on purpose to upset me,” she said.

“Why would I do that for?” His face dropped. “Jesus, I didn’t do you too, did I?”

“No!”

“Is that why you hate me?” he said, his voice breaking.

No, it’s why I want you. Ever since that night; she day-dreamed about Dante being with her instead of Carly, waking up to him on top of her—naked. She would fight against him, but he’d overpower her, forcing her to do what he wanted. She’d even asked Ash to take her roughly while she fought back, trying to stop him in the same way she’d fantasised about Dante. Ash had looked at her horrified, like she was disturbed, so she never asked again.

Dante raised his hands to his head. “Stop lookin’ at me like that, I didn’t do it on purpose. Jesus!” He glanced up at the ceiling, his expression pained. “I just... I don’t wanna remember things, so I get off my face, and when I’m off my face, I usually end up in someone’s bed. I tell myself not to take that shit, but I can’t stop myself.” He dropped his gaze. “You’re right, I am repulsive, a slut, and whatever other names you wanna call me.”

Beth stared at him, not knowing how to handle his hurt reaction.

His jaw clenched. “All the good females treat me like scum. Like you, Lavinia and Kara. Kara...” He shook his head. “I actually thought she wanted me for more than a shag, but nope, she went off with some lawyer. She lives in Remuera now. It figures she’d find someone rich with her looks.”

Beth didn’t know who Kara or Lavinia were, and she didn’t want to either, instead she was more interested in what he’d said about her. “You think I’m good?”

His brows furrowed. “Yeah, that’s why Ash is with you. He always gets the good females. Me, I drive them away.”

She wanted to hug him, to tell him those women weren’t worth his time since they were too stupid to see how wonderful he was.

He continued talking, like he was purging his soul. “I don’t understand what I do wrong. They tell me they’re fine with me being rough, then they get all upset when I follow through. And it’s not like they don’t know what I’m like to start with. Is that why you didn’t ask me out? Cos of my rep?”

“Why do ya think I would’ve asked you out?” Although I did seriously consider it, but kept changing my mind, not sure whether I wanted you or Ash more. But God, I want you more than anything now.

“Me and Ash look the same, but you still chose him over me. Why? You’re my age, not his.”

“My friends said you’re a player,” and that Ash was a one woman man. But was that ‘one’ woman me or his ex?

“Only cos I don’t have a chick like you. Even though you treat me like shit, I wished you’d asked me instead of Ash.” He pulled a face, like he’d said something he shouldn’t have. “I just want...”  He swore, then grabbed her face.

Beth went still, too shocked to move, his mouth practically devouring hers, his kissing much rougher than Ash’s. And he tasted different too, a hint of mochaccino ghosting his breath, and... Oh God... His hand slipped under her kimono and grasped her breast, no teasing involved, just raw desire as he kneaded it and plucked at her nipple so hard she wanted to come.

“I would treat you right,” he murmured against her lips.

Beth remained still, too scared and excited to stop him, and not wanting to either. He took a hold of her kimono and yanked it down to her waist, the belt the only thing stopping it from falling to the floor. Beth shivered as he kissed down her neck and over her collarbone, then sucked in a breath as his mouth latched onto her bare breast, momentarily forgetting where she was.

He tore at her belt, dropping her kimono to the floor. Now completely naked, her dazed eyes shifted to the picture on the wall. A photo of a teenage Ash stood dressed in rugby gear, his frown a contradiction to the winning trophy in his hands. She closed her eyes, guilt hitting her hard. Ash didn’t deserve this, but...

She gasped as Dante’s fingers touched her below, one entering as he continued to suckle on her breast. She opened her eyes and looked down at his wavy hair, like she was looking at Ash. Dante let go of her breast and lifted her, propping her at the edge of the table. He grabbed her head with one hand and kissed her hard, his tongue delving inside her mouth. Something clunked on the lino. Breaking their kiss, he lowered her onto the cold surface of the table and lifted one of her legs. The touch of his cock at her entrance startled her, making her lift her head. He paused for a moment, staring at her intensely, then slowly entered her, not taking his eyes off her face. Wanting it faster, she pushed her pelvis at him, impaling herself further, the sudden movement causing her pain, but she groaned into it, loving the feeling.

He lifted her legs over his shoulders and started to piston in and out. Her hands reached for him, needing him closer. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, then stopped his thrusting completely as his mouth wandered down to her breast again. She grabbed his head and arched upwards, keening as he suckled her, his tongue, mouth and teeth working overtime, driving so much need down her body that she was desperate for release.

He bit her nipple, making her scream, a mixture of pain and pleasure thrashing through her. He let go of her breast and started pumping her hard, shunting the table back and forth, and taking her over the edge in more ways than one. With her head hanging over the table, she cried out, “I love you!” her body finally getting the release she needed.

He went rigid, then pulled out so suddenly it startled her. Still feeling the afterglow of the orgasm, she lay on her back in a daze, watching him as he stared at the wall behind her. He muttered something in a language she didn’t understand, then raised his hands to his head, his expression pained.

Concerned he’d hurt himself, she pushed up. “What’s wrong?” she said, reaching for him.

“Don’t touch me!” He stepped back and fell over the chair, then tugged up his pants and took off down the passage.

Beth went to follow, but stopped, her gaze moving to the picture he’d been staring at. Within the metal frame, a teenage Ash held a pre-teen Dante in a headlock, the smiles on their faces showing they were having fun—a loving relationship between brothers.

The full realisation of what she’d done finally hit Beth.

5

Dante

Beth banged on his bedroom door, pleading with him to let her in.

“Oprosti mi!” Dante shouted the Croatian words he used for apologising, something he said when he’d done something so bad that English was inadequate. And he was always sorry for something, because he found it hard to control himself, constantly doing whatever he wanted whether it hurt people or not. He saw, he took, and damn the consequences. But this time he’d gone too far, Ash’s woman not someone he should’ve touched, no matter how much he wanted to.

“Please don’t tell Ash!” Beth shouted.

As if he would. He didn’t want to hurt his brother, plus he couldn’t handle it if Ash stopped talking to him. He didn’t mind taking a beating—he deserved it, but Ash was the type to totally cut people off if they betrayed him. That scared him more than anything, because he needed Ash in his life.

“Dante, I-I...”

Love me? Did she mean what she’d said earlier? It wasn’t something he thought was possible, yet he’d never thought she’d respond to his touch either. But now, after hearing her words...

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Beth said, snapping him out of his thoughts. “It wuz a mistake.”

He went still for a second, then grabbed a model car off the bedside table and threw it at the door, rage taking over. “I already know I’m a big fuckin’ mistake, so fuck off!” He flopped back onto his bed, pissed off for being so gullible, and believing for a second that she actually loved him. No female really wanted him, their words of love never leading to anything. They only came over for sex, because that was all he was good for. He was just something to brag about to their mates; a naked picture on a phone to laugh at or a dirty li’l secret to hide from their husband or boyfriend.

“I didn’t say you were a mistake,” Beth said.

“Yes, you did.”

“Just unlock the door, so we can sort this out.”

“It’s sorted: you love Ash, no one loves me.”

“Stop it, Dante, please lemme in.”

“Why? So you can fuck me over again.”

“Don’t be like this.”

He lifted his right arm, focusing on the faded number scrawled across his flesh. The female who’d put it there last night wanted to screw him too. She’d been all over him, even shoving her mate out of the way when the other chick tried to make a move. And she’d had a smoking hot bod that he wanted to pump so hard she snapped, but he’d decided not to go with her, because he was sick of being told after he’d done the deed they had someone else. Yeah, he’d noticed the pale line on her wedding finger. That wouldn’t have bothered him when he was a teenager, he just did any hot chick he could, but now... he wanted more, wanted an actual relationship, someone who loved him. He knew it was pathetic—God, how Beth was right, but he couldn’t do the one-night stands anymore, because... Fuck! He was turning into a sap, and a whiny bitch at that.

“Dante, I’m sorry,” Beth called out. “I lost control, but Ash doesn’t needa know ’bout this. It’s not like you love me or anything.”

“I already told ja I won’t tell him.” And I do love you. Bloody classic that he fell for his brother’s woman, a real walking cliché. The banging on the door continued. He needed a distraction, something to take his mind off her. He reached for the leather jacket hanging off the desk chair and pulled out his phone, scrolling down his contacts to look for Tiana’s number. Unlike Beth, Ash’s ex never talked to him like he was worthless. Oh, she would tell him off at times, but it wasn’t demeaning. Instead, it was more like a sister scolding a brother, just in a respectful manner. And he did love her like a sister. He missed living with her, and missed his nephew even more, the house not the same without the li’l fella.

He hit the number, hoping Tiana was home. After a few seconds a female voice answered, “Dante?”

“Yup.”

“How’s it goin’?”

“Not too good.”

“Why, what’s wrong? Is Ash alright?”

Dante smiled sadly. No matter what Ash said, there was no doubt in his mind that Tiana still loved his brother. If anything, he thought those two were idiots for not sorting their shit out, because if he was ever lucky enough to find love like that, he would fight for it with all he had. Mutual love, that is. He looked over at the door as Beth continued to knock, wishing she loved him.

“Dante?” Tiana said, her voice sounding even more concerned. “You there?”

“Yeah, sorry. Ash is just upset. Chaz’s hearing went badly.”

“Oh God, did that creature get parole?”

“I dunno, I lost my rag and had to leave.”

“Oh, Dante, I’m sorry. Did Ash go?”

“No.”

“Good, he shouldn’t hafta see that horrible creature ever again. And what’s that banging?”

Dante glanced at the door as Beth called out again. Jesus, that woman never gave in. “Ash’s girlfriend is mad at me.”

Tiana exhaled loudly.

“Sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have mentioned her. And Ash is only with her cos you left him.”

“I didn’t have a choice.”

“Don’t gimme that bull,” Dante said, suddenly angry at her excuse. “You did have a choice, and you broke him when you walked out with his son.”

Tiana stifled a sob, then the phone went silent.

Dante swore under his breath. Why couldn’t he fucking control himself? He could go from being perfectly polite to biting someone’s head off in a second. He didn’t mean to, shit just flew out of his mouth before he could think.

“I’m sorry, T,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just really strung out.”

She sniffled. “I can’t talk right now.”

“No, no, please don’t hang up on me; I didn’t ring to upset you.”

“I know.”

“So, you’ll forgive me?”

“Nuthin’ to forgive when it’s the truth.”

“Oh, sweetness, don’t cry,” Dante said, feeling like utter dog turd.

She breathed out, the sound shaky. “Don’t worry ’bout it.”

“I s’pose you won’t want me coming over now?”

“You wanna come over?”

“Yeah, I’d love to see Angelo. I bought him those rugby cards he likes,” Dante said, the last part a lie, although he fully intended on picking them up on the way.

She went silent again.

“Please, T, I really needa get outta the house, Beth is driving me insane.”

“Okay, you can come over,” she answered way too fast, his mention of Beth no doubt the motivating factor.

Relieved, Dante stood up. “Cheers, I’ll see ya in thirty minutes, and tell Angelo his Uncle Dumbte’s coming.”

Tiana laughed softly, the sound making Dante feel a bit better. “You shouldn’t encourage him,” she said. “He’s not three anymore, he can say your name properly now.”

“But I think it’s adorable.”

“Yeah, it is, Dante,” she accentuated his name.

“Okay, Tiana, see ya soon.” Smiling, he pocketed the phone, then grabbed his leather jacket and headed for the door, hoping that the silence meant Beth had left. He opened it, and looked down. Beth was sitting on the floor, wearing her colourful kimono. Her face was flushed, and she looked like she’d been crying.

She scrambled to her feet. “Are ya gonna tell Ash?”

“How many times do I hafta tell ya I won’t? Why the hell would I wanna hurt him? I feel like scum as it is.”

She raised a hand to her forehead. “I’m sorry too; I didn’t mean for things to happen.”

His gaze lowered to her breasts as the kimono parted from the movement. He closed his eyes. “It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I shouldn’t have touched you.”

“Dante ...” Her hand brushed his arm.

Jesus, he couldn’t do this. Opening his eyes, he moved her aside, and strode through the passage. He didn’t want to be near her—to be tempted. He pulled out his phone and scrolled down to find the number of a taxi.

Footsteps followed him. “Dante, where are ya goin’?”

He opened the front door, and reeled off his address to the lady on the other end of the line, then hung up.

“Can’t we talk some more?” Beth grabbed his arm.

Dante pulled free. “There’s nuthin’ to talk about. I already said I’d keep my mouth shut. What more do ya want from me?”

“I wanted to know how you ... feel.” She looked almost hopeful, like she really cared. His gaze followed her hand as she brushed her long, straight black hair away from her beauti— Shit, he had to stop looking at her like that.

“What do you care how I feel?” he said. “You made it doubly clear that you don’t give a shit ’bout me. And you’re forgetting that I’m just a slut.”

“I didn’t mean that—”

“But you’re still treating me like one. Maybe you should stuff some cash down my pants, cos all I am to you is a fuckin’ whore, your dirty li’l secret.”

She looked like he’d slapped her. “That’s a horrid thing to say.”

But it’s true. Dante glanced at the road, hoping the taxi would turn up quick. Beth continued talking. He blocked her out, not interested in her panicked babbling. After a few minutes, the taxi finally arrived. He jumped down the steps and headed for it.

“Dante, please!”

He ignored her. There was nothing he could say that would make things right, but there was one thing he could do, and that was to never touch her again—no matter how much he wanted to.

***

After stopping off to buy a bundle of cards for Angelo, Dante glanced back at Sylvia Park shopping centre from the back seat of the taxi. A Hoyts cinema, the yellow PAK’nSAVE supermarket and numerous other shops made up one of the largest malls in New Zealand, along with a massive car park lining the front.

Lower to middle class houses flashed by as the taxi headed along Mt. Wellington highway, the neighbourhood a step up from his. The music on the radio came to an end, soon followed by the twelve o’clock news: “There has been a prison riot at...”

The mention of Chaz’s prison caught Dante’s attention. “Turn it up.”

The taxi driver did as instructed.

“Two deaths have been confirmed, while four other prisoners have been admitted to Middleton hospital, one critically injured. Police and hospital staff have assured the public that the prisoners are being heavily guarded and are not a threat to public safety. The riot was believed to have started after an eighteen-year-old male attacked a fellow inmate. The youth is amongst the dead.” The reporter cut to another story.

“You can turn it down now,” Dante said, wondering whether Chaz had been injured—or killed. He pulled out his phone, checking if he had any texts or calls relating to it. Instead, numerous messages from Beth cluttered his in-box. Dante deleted them, then re-pocketed the phone as the taxi turned onto Tiana’s street. He pointed to her house. “Number 8 with the large trees out front.”

The taxi driver pulled over to the kerb. Dante paid the man then got out. Several houses along the road were well looked after, the two-storey brick one across from Tiana’s the nicest, while a few others only required a slap of paint and a clean to turn the street into a picture of middle-class suburbia.

Dante entered Tiana’s property. Custard apple trees shaded the front of the wooden bungalow, while a banana tree framed the far corner. He jumped up the steps and knocked on the door. A young voice squealed inside, then a few seconds later the door pulled open. Angelo peered up at Dante with food smeared across his face. With an unruly mop of black hair and dark eyes, his nine-year-old nephew was a mini-Ash, just darker, Angelo’s Tongan and Māori blood overpowering his Croatian heritage.

“Uncle Dumbte!” His nephew ploughed into him, trying to tackle Dante’s legs out from under him.

Dante steadied himself on the doorframe then grabbed Angelo, lifting him upside down.

Angelo reached for the ground, squealing, “Lemme down, lemme down!”

Laughing, Dante turned him around and placed Angelo gently onto his feet.

“Where are my cards?” Angelo hollered. The kid was loud, always talking at top volume. The only time he was quiet was when he was asked a question, then the li’l blighter wouldn’t say a word, usually ignoring the person—like his father often did.

Dante pulled the cards out of his jacket as Tiana rounded the corner. Angelo snatched them from Dante and took off down the passage, pushing past his mother, who snapped at him to say thank you.

“Thank you!” Angelo yelled, disappearing around the corner.

Tiana shook her head. “He’s a li’l ratbag that boy.”

“At least I got a thank you this time,” Dante said. “I usually only get a grunt.”

Tiana smiled. She had flour dusting her caramel-coloured cheeks and some on her apron. Like Beth, she was tall, but other than that, the two looked nothing alike. Instead of being slim, Tiana was voluptuous, and had thick, wavy brown hair and almond-shaped eyes. When Ash had started dating her in high school, his brother had nicknamed her his “Polynesian princess.” And she was a beauty, although she didn’t realise it, unlike Beth, who knew she was hot.

“What do ya want to drink?” Tiana asked. “Juice, coffee or tea?”

“Juice will do,” he said, although he was aching for something stronger. He wanted to get blotto, so he didn’t have to think about Beth—or Chaz. Jesus, what else could go wrong today?

He followed Tiana into the lounge and settled himself on the floral couch, while she went to get his drink. Angelo was sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring at SpongeBob on the telly with his rugby cards spread out in front of him.

“You wanna go outside and play rugby?” Dante asked.

Angelo didn’t answer.

“It doesn’t hafta be rugby, it can be anything you want.”

“Shut up, SpongeBob’s on,” Angelo said, without taking his eyes off the screen.

“Don’t be rude, Angelo,” Tiana growled as she entered the lounge. She placed Dante’s drink on the coffee table, then picked up the remote and switched off the program.

“No!” Angelo scrambled for the TV.

“Your uncle came to visit you, not SpongeBob. And you don’t tell adults to shut up.”

“I needa watch it!” Angelo squealed, turning it back on.

“Don’t worry, T,” Dante said. “It’s alright, I don’t mind.”

Tiana gave the back of Angelo’s head a scowl. “He needs to learn some manners.” She sat down next to Dante, looking like she was aching to turn the TV off again.

Dante patted her leg. “Chill, boys are naturally rude, there’d be sumpthin’ wrong with him if he wuzn’t.”

“My brother wasn’t rude when he was little.”

“Then he sure made up for it as a teenager.”

She smiled, reminding Dante of Ash’s love-struck description of her, ‘Brighter than the sun and lovelier than the moon.’ His brother never said things like that anymore—and definitely not to Beth.

Tiana’s expression saddened, a cloud of emotion smothering her sunny smile. “Why didja go to the hearing?” she said.

“I thought I could handle it. Not one of my brightest ideas. Still, it wuz lucky I did, cos Sledge turned up.”

“Good Lord, does he know what happened to Ash?”

“Yes.”

“How’d he take it?”

“Shocked, angry, disgusted with Chaz.”

“Has he talked to Ash about it?”

“No, they stay well clear of each other now. Remember I told ja Ash kicked Sledge out a few months back?”

“Yeah, you mentioned they had an argument.”

“An argument?” Dante shook his head. “I must’ve been tripping that day, cos that’s the understatement of the century. Sledge and his mate attacked one of Ash’s friends, so Ash took it upon himself to enact justice. I had to pull him offa Sledge, cos he wouldn’t stop bashing him.”

Tiana’s eyes went wide. “Angelo, go outside and play.”

“But, I wanna watch SpongeBob!”

“Out. Now!”

Angelo pulled a face at his mother, then ran out the backdoor, yelling that she was mean to him.

Tiana refocused on Dante. “I can’t believe either of them did that, but Ash... I thought of all people he would know better, especially after how your dad used to beat him up.”

Dante sighed. “My dad wuz ill when he hurt Ash, but he did try to make up for it, and he’s not such a bad guy now, he just needs help at times.”

“Still, it doesn’t excuse what he did to Ash, nor what Ash did to Sledge. Sledge is just a kid.”

“No, he’s not. Sledge is a big bugger, even taller than me and Ash now.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I guess he doesn’t visit you guys.”

“I haven’t seen him since we moved out of Claydon.”

Dante shook his head, disgusted with Sledge. “I’ll have a word with him, cos that’s not on. And don’t mention anything to Ash either, cos he feels bad enough over what happened. He tried to make up for it, begged his mate not to press charges against Sledge, which at least kept the bugger outta prison.”

“Not like I see Ash anyway, so it won’t be a problem.”

Dante frowned. “Only cos you take off with Angelo every time he comes to visit. You shouldn’t do that, Ash has a right to see his son.”

Tiana ran a hand over her face, looking like she wanted to cry.

Dante squeezed her knee. “You shouldn’t run, it hurts him, and he misses Angelo like crazy, and you too. You do know he still loves you, don’t you?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

“It’s true, he does.”

“If he did he wouldn’t be with Beth.”

“He’s only with her cos you left him. And he’d drop her in a second for you.”

“Doubt it, he let her move in.”

“Cos she pestered him, and she isn’t right for him; she doesn’t love him like you do.”

Tiana shook her head again. “It doesn’t matter what I feel, I can’t live in that house anymore. I hafta do what’s right for Angelo, and that’s to be away from what your family does.”

“What your family does. You’re part of the family whether you like it or not.”

“No, I’m not, cos I don’t get a say. And if Ash left the business—like I asked him to, we wouldn’t be having this discussion now.”

“You know he tried to, but the boss has got him by the short and curlies. If he doesn’t work for Craven that bastard will send out his thugs to take Angelo.”

Tiana screwed up her face. Dante put an arm around her shoulders and pulled him in close, giving her head a kiss. “Don’t cry, sis.”

Tiana wiped her eyes. “I miss him.”

“I know you do, which is why I don’t understand why you two can’t sort out a compromise.”

“He has Beth.”

“I told you my opinions on her.”

“If he left her, then...” she sighed. “It doesn’t matter; it’s better this way.”

“No, it’s not. You love Ash, he loves you, and poor Beth is caught in the middle. He’s making her miserable. Sometimes I don’t even think he likes her, just lets her hang around.”

“Why do you care ’bout how she feels? She’s horrible to you. She’s a horrible person all round.”

“No, she’s not, she’s lonely. I see it. I know what it looks like,” feels like. “You should see her face when Ash ignores her. She asks him a question and it’s like she hasn’t even spoken. I don’t think he does it intentionally, it’s just... He gets too wrapped up in his thoughts and he doesn’t see what’s around him sometimes, or how it hurts people. I thought he wuz having hearing problems to start with, but it’s just him, he’s off in his own world. Please, T, go see him. Stop this now, it’s not just you and Ash hurting here, it’s Beth,” and me “as well.”

“I...” She breathed out. “Just gimme some time to think ’bout it. It hurts seein’ him. All I want...” She shook her head, her face pained. “I hafta think ’bout what’s best for Angelo.”

“Which is for you and Ash to get back together.”

She dropped her gaze again. “We’ll see.”

Dante nodded. Although it was a small concession, he felt like he’d made a breakthrough.

“Where’s Ash now?” Tiana asked.

“At work.”

She glanced up, her expression wishful. “Do ya think Craven will ever let you two quit the business?”

“Dunno. Plus, if he did, I’m not sure I could give it up. Unlike Ash, I only know how to deal. That’s pretty pathetic, which is ironic, considering how I went mad at Beth earlier. Guess she’s right, I am pathetic.”

“No, you’re not!”

“Others have said it too.”

“Well, they’re wrong.”

“No, they’re not; you’re just way too nice to admit it.”

“No, Dante. They. Are. Wrong. And what about your family? They don’t think you’re like that at all, they love you. Sledge even idolises you.”

He shrugged.

“Don’t shrug at me, it’s true, and don’t let those horrible people get you down. Ignore them and prove them wrong.”

“I should’ve had a teacher like you when I wuz a kid. Your students are lucky.”

“I love teaching. You should find sumpthin’ you love to do too.”

He smiled. “I have; I love drugs and they make me feel real good.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sumpthin’ legal.” She cut him off before he could reply. “And don’t you dare mention sex.”

He laughed. “You know me far too well. Anyway, what does legal mean?”

“Don’t be a smart-alec, Dante. You must like sumpthin’ other than drugs and sex.”

“I like to rap and sing.”

“Yeah, you’ve got a lovely voice.”

“But, it can’t pay the bills. Drugs do.”

“Yeah, but at the expense of both yours and other people’s health. And I’m always worrying ’bout you two, especially with those Joneses. I hope you’re not dealing to them anymore.”

“I stay well clear of that family,” he said, knowing it wasn’t wise to mention where Ash was right now. “So, there’s nuthin’ to worry about. Nuthin’ at all.”

6

Ash

The Joneses’ place looked like a crack house, run down with windows taped up and graffiti defacing the broken fence. On the overgrown lawn, two small children played inside a beat-up car, their squeals of joy at odds with the environment. Across the road, a stereo blasted rap music, while a dog barked further down.

Ash tucked his gun into his pants, and got out of Dante’s car, his mind still on Chaz’s parole hearing. If Chaz got out he’d deal with the situation, regardless of whether it landed him in prison, but he didn’t know how to deal with Sledge, to make things right with his bro. And now Sledge knew about the rape, he wasn’t sure if he could face him again, because he couldn’t stand it if the kid looked at him with disgust, mixed in with the fear and hate Ash already knew Sledge harboured against him.

He grabbed the bags from the boot, then headed up the path and knocked on the Joneses’ door, for once wishing he could give the finger to his commitments like Dante often did. But not with booze, he hated that shit, it did nothing but ruin his life, instead, he’d disappear down south with his surfboard, going someplace where no one but the waves could find him.

“Get it, Len!” a female hollered, bursting the perfect wave in his head, and sending him crashing back down to reality.

Approaching footsteps sounded on the other side, then the door pulled back to reveal a fat, six-foot motherfucker. Kitted out in jeans and a red and black bush-jacket, Len sneered at Ash, showing a set of yellowed teeth the same colour as his hair. “You’re lucky Deano ain’t here.”

“Why?  He has no issues with me.”

Len took a drag on his cigarette, then blew smoke into Ash’s face. “Cos you fucked his wife.”

Ash screwed up his nose and waved a hand in front of his face. “Don’t blow that shit in my face. And how many times do ya hafta see me before you figure out I’m not Dante, you dumb cunt?”

“Watch your mouth, dago bastard. And you look the same.”

“I’m not Italian and Dante has a tat round his left eye.”

“How the fuck would I know? Deano usually deals with you pricks, not me. So, shut your gob, and get in here before someone sees you.”

Ash tucked his T-shirt behind his gun and entered the house. He wished he didn’t have to deal with the Joneses, but his boss gave him no choice, the family also working for Craven.

Ash placed the bags on the table and faced Len as the fat cunt closed the front door. Len’s eyes lowered to Ash’s gun. “Nice piece, just keep it in your pants along with your cock, cos Carly’s home.”

“Fuck off; I’m not interested in her.”

“Good. Now, do you want a beer?”

“The last time I had one my mother died and I ended up in hospital, so get my bloody money or I’m leaving with your stash.”

“What’s your fuckin’ issue?”

“You shot at Dante.”

“Deano ordered me to, and it was last year, so get over it, you prick. Anyway, I purposely missed, so you should kiss my arse.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s true, cos Craven would’ve killed me if I damaged his property. I aimed for Dante’s car, which made Deano happy and kept Craven off our backs.”

Ash sniffed, surprised that the guy actually had some brains, because he was right, Craven would’ve brought the Joneses down to their knees and begging for mercy if they had killed Dante. Property. Yeah, they were all Craven’s property.

“Just get my money so I can go,” Ash said. “Your place reeks.”

Len headed into the kitchen mumbling, “Dago bastard.” He stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bench dividing the rooms, then pulled open the fridge.

Ash sat down on the couch, wishing Len would stop pissing him about, because he hated being in this place. Not only did it stink of cat piss and cigarettes, but the lounge was lined with boxes, which he knew were full of stolen goods.

A female squealed. “Dante!”

Ash’s gaze shot to the passage doorway as Deano’s wife headed towards him. Bloody hell, she looked awful. He hadn’t seen Carly since Dante had told her to fuck off just under a year ago. Back then she’d been a right stunner, with a figure to die for, but now she appeared gaunt with sunken cheeks and sores peppering her skin, while her once lovely blonde hair was stringy and unkempt.

Len ran out of the kitchen, and grabbed Carly’s arm. “It’s Ash, not Dante.”

Carly tried to yank herself free. “You bastard, lemme go!”

“Don’t speak to me like that!” Len let go and shoved her into the coffee table.

Ash bolted to his feet.

Carly moved in front of Ash, blocking him from Len. “Sit down, hun; I’ll get ya a beer.”

“I don’t drink,” Ash said, still eyeballing Len.

Len jabbed a finger at Carly. “Stay put, woman, while I get him his money. And if you touch him...” He smiled. “Deano said I can take care of things.”

“I won’t touch him.”

“We’ll see.” Len smiled wider, then disappeared down the passage.

Ash sat back down, then jolted in surprise as Carly launched herself onto his lap. She grabbed his head and started kissing him, making him want to chunder. She reeked of cheap methamphetamines, the smell resembling a mixture of burnt plastic and ammonia, the latter probably why the place smelt like cat piss. He hated meth, it was the only drug he refused to sell, his father’s addiction still weighing on him.

He pushed Carly off, accidentally knocking her into the coffee table. She righted herself, then placed her hands on either side of his head, leaning into the couch and giving him an eyeful of what she wasn’t wearing under her baggy T-shirt. “C’mon, Dante, Deano’s out of the country, he won’t know.”

“I’m not Dante. My bro has a tat round his left eye now.” He swatted her hand away as she stroked his hair. Her pupils were dilated, making her irises look almost completely black. Freaked out, Ash shifted down the couch. “Stoppit.”

She followed him. “We were good together.”

“I’m Ash. Remember I went out with your cuz at high school?”

“But I wanna be with you, not Deano,” she said, as though she hadn’t heard him, too spaced-out to listen to reason.  She placed her arms around his neck, and tried to kiss him again.

“No!” Ash jerked away.

“For fuck’s sake!” Len stormed over with a bag, and yanked her away from Ash. “Don’t you ever bloody listen?”

She squealed and slapped Len. Len pushed her into the passage, closing the door behind her. She kicked the door and yelled at him, making him holler back: “Stay in there!” When she went silent, Len shook his head and walked back to Ash, muttering, “Crazy bitch.” He slumped down on the couch and dumped the heavy bag on Ash’s lap. “It’s all there, check it if ya want.”

Ash unzipped it, and started counting the money, while Len grabbed the brick of coke. Len opened it and stuck a finger inside, licking off the white powder. “Sweet ... that’s good shit,” he said, putting it aside to check the bag of weed.

Ash quickly finished counting. “All good?” Although he had no idea why the Joneses wanted to get into the drug business, because the amount they were ordering was definitely not for recreational use and well above their means—gathering from their royal abode. Ash snorted, slightly amused. Len gave him a glare, making Ash smile more.

“You dealing now?” Ash asked, not really caring if Len stole his lower-end customers or not. If anything it amused him, knowing that Craven’s men would string the fat bastard up alive, because there was no way Len had been given permission to sell anything but electronics.

Len’s eyes narrowed. “No, it’s for me and Deano.”

“A kilo in a week? Yeah right, I can see you consuming a hundred kilos of McDs in that time, but not coke.”

“Watch your mouth, you cheeky bastard!”

Ash shook his head. “If Craven catches ya dealing, you’ll end up in the Waikato River with the other fat logs.”

“You keep your greasy mouth shut or my aim will be more accurate next time.”

“You threatening me?”

“No, I’m threatening Dante, so shut your gob if you want him hole free.”

Ash clenched his fists.  “If you go near my bro—”

“I won’t as long as you don’t tell Craven.”

Ash got to his feet and glared down at Len. “Take my biz away from me for all I care, I don’t give a shit. I’ve had enough of dealing.” He snatched up the bag and headed for the door, sick of this shit-arse business.

Len followed him. “Next time you come here, keep your opinions to yourself, you dago bastard.”

Ash flicked Len the finger as he jumped down the front steps. Len yelled racist names then slammed the door behind him. Rain descended over Ash, the cloudy sky matching his mood. He headed for Dante’s car, pissed off with everything. A loud crash came from the house, making him stop. Ash glanced back, then at the kids in the beat-up car. They continued to play, seemingly unconcerned by the noise. He dumped the bag of money into the boot, then moved around to the front of the car, just wanting to go home and bum out for the rest of Saturday. Maybe he could watch a DVD with Beth or spend some quality time in bed with her, making up for how he treated her earlier. Yeah, he’d stop by the dairy and buy her some flowers, because she always liked that. And it wasn’t like he meant to upset her, he just needed some breathing space before he choked on his memories.

Another loud crash sounded, followed by a high pitched scream. Ash froze for a moment, then swore up a storm as he headed back down the path, knowing he shouldn’t interfere, but also knowing he had to do something. Finding the front door locked, he took off around the side of the house. Like the front of the property, the backyard was overgrown with the additions of a garage and clothesline. He entered through the kitchen as another shattering sound came from down the passage.

Len screamed, his voice dripping with pain. “You bitch! I’m gonna fuckin’ kill ya.”

Ash bolted down the passage and stopped at the bedroom where the noise was coming from. Shattered glass and ceramics littered the floor and bed, along with broken picture frames, while on the mattress a bloodied Len was punching Carly, who was curled up into a ball and screaming. Ash grabbed Len from behind, but the guy was too heavy to budge.

Len stopped punching Carly and shoved Ash away, making him stumble into the cabinet. “This has got nuthin’ to do with you!”

Ash launched himself at Len, this time putting his full weight behind him. Len fell off Carly and over the side of the bed, knocking into the front wall. Ash grabbed Carly, yanking her off the bed and pushing her behind him. “Get outta ’ere,” he said, remembering his gun.

Len got to his feet, his fat face full of rage. Before Ash could pull his gun out, Len stepped onto the bed and flung himself at Ash like a WWF pro-wrestler, the fat bastard’s speed taking Ash by surprise. Ash fell into the passageway, the back of his head hitting the wall hard. On autopilot, he raised his leg, kneeing Len in the nuts just as a punch connected with his face. Both of them grunted, but only Len crumpled to the floor. Ash brought a boot down into Len’s fat gut. Len hollered and lashed out, clipping Ash’s heel. Ash righted himself and raised his boot again, then stopped, a sudden bout of dizziness taking over. He wobbled and staggered to the side, then everything went blank.

***

The sound of a gun firing brought Ash around. Another shot rang out followed by a loud thud. He sat up, everything a blurry mess of colours. He wiped at his eyes, then jolted when a hand touched his face.

“God, I thought he’d killed you,” a female said. She hugged him then started peppering kisses all over his face.

Too disorientated to push her away, Ash laid his head against the wall, wincing at the pain it caused. She stopped kissing his face and latched onto his lips, her breath making him gag. He tried to raise a hand to push her away again, but it flopped back down. He blinked and shook his head, finally clearing his vision and realising where he was.

Carly stopped kissing him and reached around his head, her expression upset. “My poor baby, you’re bleeding.” She wrapped her arms around him and heaved, getting nowhere as she tried to pull him up. “Help me, Dante.”

Too sore and dizzy to correct her, Ash pushed to his feet. She directed him down the passage. He stopped at the doorway to the lounge and leaned against it, everything that had happened coming back. “Where’s Len?”

“I shot him. And I hope he’s dead!” she screamed down the passage. She started laughing, the sound surreal for the situation.

Ash looked down at his pants. Fuck, fuck, fuck, she used his gun! He turned to go back to the room. Carly blocked his way, steadying him as he swayed slightly.

“I was protecting you, like you protected me,” she said.

“But, you shot him with my bloody gun.”

“What gun?”

Confused, Ash blinked at her. “But you just said you shot him.”

“Who?”

Ash breathed out, remembering she wasn’t all there. He turned and walked back to the room, spotting the gun lying in the doorway. He swiped it up then went still, his gaze moving to the body on the floor. Blood covered one arm and a shoulder, but apart from Len’s scratched up face, Ash couldn’t see any critical damage. He reached out a foot and nudged Len’s leg, then jerked back when Len pushed up onto a hand.

Len’s gaze moved to the gun in Ash’s hand, his eyes going wide with terror. He shuffled away from Ash, banging into the wall. “Don’t kill me, man, please don’t kill me.”

“I don’t intend to as long as you stay away from my family.”

“Yeah, man, no worries, it wasn’t your fault, it was Carly’s,” Len babbled. “All’s good between us.” His gaze moved to Ash’s right, his expression changing from fear to anger in an instant. “You bitch!” Len screamed. “Wait ’til Deano hears what you did!”

Carly screamed back, the two having a yelling match.

Ash put a hand to his head, then hollered at the top of his lungs, “Shut the fuck up!!”

Both Len and Carly went quiet.

Ash pointed the gun at Len again. “You make sure Deano knows nuthin’ ’bout my involvement or I’ll come after both of you, cos I don’t want that jealous shit threatening my brother again.”

“Dante has got nuthin’ to do with this,” Len said.

“Deano will use this as an excuse to get back at him. So, do you understand?”

Len nodded. “Yeah, no worries, all’s clear. This is Carly’s fault, not yours or Dante’s. You weren’t even here; I didn’t see you at all.”

Ash lowered the gun and pulled out his phone, quickly pressing his boss’s second-in-command’s number. Saul answered after a few rings. Ash relayed what had happened, relieved when Saul said he’d take care of the situation. Ash hung up and pocketed the phone. “Saul will be sending someone over to help you,” he said to Len. “He told me to drop Carly off at the hospital, cos he doesn’t trust you two to be left alone together. So, if you have any issues take it up with him, but be clear, he has stated his men will also come after you if you go near my family, and they’ll make you wish you chose a bullet instead.”

“Yeah, yeah, I understand,” Len said, nodding so hard Ash thought the guy was going to lose his head as well as his mind.

Ash’s attention snapped to the sound of a car. “Gotta go.” He took off, praying that it wasn’t the cops. He exited out the back, almost falling over the steps as the two little kids appeared in front of him. They squealed and disappeared around the side of the house. Ash followed until he neared the front, then flattened his back against the wall. He peered around the corner at the street, relieved when he only spotted Dante’s car. He double-checked all was clear, then moved out, still aware that someone could be watching him from one of the surrounding houses.

“Dante!”

Ash turned around, remembering he was supposed to take Carly to the hospital.

She stopped in front of him, looking more excited than scared, again her reactions odd, considering her bloodied and smashed up face. Wishing he didn’t give a fuck, he indicated at the Holden. “Get your kids in the car,” he said, not wanting the little ones around when Craven’s men showed. He wasn’t sure what they would do to Len, the guy having caused trouble too many times before.

Carly hollered at the boy and girl. The kids ran for the car, their angelic faces still scared.

Ash fended off Carly as she tried to help him through the gate. “Stop touching me, I’m fine,” although he didn’t feel it. His vision may have cleared, but his head was hurting like a bitch. He pressed the alarm, trying his best to ignore the chatter of the kids and Carly as they got into Dante’s car. He slid behind the wheel, just wanting to go home and sleep for five hundred years.

Carly smiled at him as he started the engine. “I knew it was you, Dante. You’re such a tease. And stop looking so worried, everything will be okay.”

Ash ignored her and headed for the hospital, knowing that things were far from okay.

7

Corey

Corey peeked through his curtains, wishing Sledge would get home. He’d been lying on his bed since Sledge had left for the interview, replaying over and over what had happened earlier. Even though Sledge had been nice, he was afraid his mate would eventually suss out what a fraud he was. He couldn’t handle losing Sledge’s friendship, because if he did, he wouldn’t care what the cancer did to him, because his mate was his life.

Moans started up again in the next room, snapping Corey out of his thoughts. He screwed up his nose, wishing Naf and Aroha would quit it. Man, it was gross that his brother was doing the smelly bird. Yeah, Naf was fat and desperate for a shag, but Aroha? She must be as old as their mum. Gross! And worse, she smelt like she didn’t know the meaning of the word bath.... or shower... or wet-wipes...

Corey dropped the curtains and sat down on his bed. He pulled out a joint from the bedside drawer, and grabbed his lighter out of the jeans lying on the floor. After a few flicks, the weed lit up and he sat back on his bed inhaling the sweet smoke. Marijuana was the only thing that made him feel better, even made him want to eat, which he avoided unless he was starving. Because of chemo, he felt sick and tired most of the time, barely able to get up ... in more ways than one. He frowned at the memory of going with Juliet. Well, she always managed to get the li’l ginormous beggar to rise, but only because she looked like—

A car pulled up outside. He pushed off the bed and peeked out at Juliet’s red Hyundai. Bugger it. He was hoping it was Sledge.

He turned back to his bed, gritting his teeth as the noise coming from his brother’s room picked up in volume, Naf’s girlfriend working more than her vocal chords. Corey lay down on his side, and jammed a pillow against his ear, wishing that Naf worked the day shift.

He took a drag on his joint, dropping ash onto the bed. He flicked it, then took another puff, not caring that he was ruining the sheet. He jumped as someone banged on his door.

“Corey, you in there?” Juliet called out.

Corey kept quiet. He felt bad about breaking his word to her. But whenever he was with Sledge he couldn’t help what he said, his mate always making him want to brag. Still, he shouldn’t have done it.

He heard the door open and close. He removed the pillow and looked up as Juliet walked towards him.

“You alright, Corey?” She focused on his hand. “That’s dangerous. You shouldn’t be smoking in bed.”

Not wanting to answer her, he took a long drag. He didn’t know why she was being nice to him, because he didn’t deserve it.

“You had anything to eat?” she asked.

He blew smoke out the side of his mouth. “No.”

She sat down on the bed and ran her hand up and down his leg, the chemo having left it hairless. “You’ve gotta eat or you won’t get better.”

“Sorry ’bout before,” he said, ignoring her food speech.

“Don’t worry ’bout that. Sledge took it a lot better than I expected.”

Yeah, Sledge had taken it far too well. Corey leaned over and stubbed out the joint in the ashtray, saving it for later. “Lie down,” he said, patting the mattress.

Smiling at him, Juliet did as instructed. Unlike the other guys, he thought she was hot. With her hair pulled back she looked a lot like Sledge, but a much smaller version—although she was still bigger than himself, but all his friends were. He lifted a finger and ran it down her nose and over her lips, laughing as she tried to bite it. He liked her wide mouth and distinctive features, and didn’t think they were bull-like at all. They were just strong and memorable—like Sledge. He frowned, wondering whether he was being unfair to her.

“Why’re you lookin’ so sad, cutie?” Juliet asked.

“Just thinking.”

“’Bout what?”

“You.”

“I make you sad?”

He grinned, finding her pouting amusing. “You look adorable when you pout.”

Her face lit up again, her expression again similar to Sledge’s. He leaned forward and kissed her lips. Her hands instantly went to his boxers, trying to yank them down. Amused by her determination, Corey laughed. He’d never met such an aggressive chick before. From the way his mates talked, he’d always thought females were supposed to be the ones getting their clothes ripped off, not the other way around.

She stopped. “Whatcha laughing at?”

“I just like the way you yank my pants.” He lifted his butt so she could pull them off.

She flung them behind her, then jumped off the bed and started undressing. Once she was naked, she climbed on top of him and grabbed his T-shirt, yanking it up roughly and almost taking his head off in the process.

He pushed her hands away. “I’ll do it.”

She shrugged and started kissing his neck.

“Lemme get my shirt off first,” he said.

She leaned back on his stomach, causing him to grunt in pain. She pushed up onto her hands. “You alright?”

He shook his head. “My stomach hurts. Turn around and I’ll take ya from behind.”

She got off him and lay on her side. He removed his shirt then reached into his bedside cabinet, grabbing a condom. He ripped it open and slid it on, then moved up behind her and slowly inched inside, straining to stop himself from coming. When she didn’t complain, he started up a rhythm, making sure he was gentle after he’d unintentionally hurt her the first time. Damn, she was tight. He grabbed one of her hips, wondering whether she’d also let him take her up the—

He jumped as a car door slammed. Must be Sledge, he thought. He kissed Juliet’s shoulder and continued to move, determined to make it last longer this time. Last night had been embarrassing. He’d barely managed to get inside before he’d come. But, to be fair, he’d been amped up from watching a porno with Sledge earlier, so when Sledge had gone out, he was desperate for release and Juliet was just so damned convenient. Plus, he’d always been curious what it would be like to do her.

The front door closed, and the thud of boots neared his room. Definitely Sledge. His mate didn’t know the definition of quiet, always slamming things and thumping around the place regardless if people were trying to catch some shut-eye or not.

Juliet grabbed his left hand and moved it to her breast. Corey moved it back to her hip. Man, he hoped Sledge had done well, because his mate would make a great prison guard. He was certainly big enough, and since Sledge had started working out with Naf’s neglected gym equipment he’d cut up real nice too. He’d seen the results when Sledge had undressed in front of him, his mate’s six-pack more than impressive. Corey was glad that at least Sledge was putting it to use, because his lazy, fat-arse of a brother hadn’t touched it since opening the box.

Juliet moaned, and moved his hand back to her breast. Grimacing, Corey pulled it free and placed it on her hip again. He closed his eyes and pushed harder, wondering what Sledge was doing right now. He could hear him in the next room, probably undressing. Corey moaned.

A few seconds later, footsteps approached his room. “Corey, you in there?” Sledge called out.

“Yeah, but I’m also in your sister.” Corey yelped as Juliet pinched his leg hard.

“Bastard!” Sledge kicked Corey’s door, then slammed his own.

Corey swore under his breath. Wanting to apologise to Sledge, he pulled out of Juliet, but got shoved onto his back.

Juliet climbed on top of him. “You’re lucky you’re so cute, otherwise I would kick your butt for saying that. Cos of your big mouth, Sledge is gonna be a right pain now.”

“I know, so get offa me so I can smooth things over with him,” Corey said, knowing he didn’t have a shit show in hell of pushing her off, the girl packing more muscle in her arms than he had in his whole body.

She leaned over him, making Corey wonder whether she was going to hit him, but instead she kissed his nose.

“I s’pose it doesn’t matter,” she said. “He’ll hafta learn to deal with it since we’re an item now.”

Corey’s face dropped. An item? He never asked her out, just for sex.

She ran a finger over his brow. “Don’t look so worried, cutie. Things will work out.” She leaned down and kissed his lips.

He remained stiff, but not in the right place. She ran a hand up and down his side as she continued to kiss him. He yelped as she lowered her weight onto his stomach.

She sat up. “Sorry, I’ll be more careful.”

A bang came from Sledge’s room. Corey looked at the adjoining wall. Juliet grabbed his face and turned it back to her. “Forget him, Sledge could never share.”

“What—”

Her mouth smothered his words. Corey blinked up at Juliet, then closed his eyes, giving into the kiss, although all he could think about was Sledge. He imagined his mate throwing his boots at the wall, mad that he was with Juliet. It worried him, but also gave him a thrill that Sledge thought Juliet wasn’t good enough for him. He didn’t agree, but still, Sledge thought he was good-looking. He smiled into the kiss, then inhaled sharply as Juliet grabbed his balls, her fingers playing with them.

She nipped his lower lip, then started kissing him again, her soft lips too gentle. He kept his eyes closed, imagining rougher lips replacing them, consuming him while large hands ran all over his body. He groaned and pushed his cock up as it grew hard once more, aching for anything to grasp it and make him come.

A hand answered, taking a hold and pushing his cock inside a tight, wet opening. He tilted his head back as a rhythm started up, the ride making his dick want to explode instantly. “Slow down or I’ll come too soon,” he gasped, then yelped as his nipple was twisted.

“Sorry.” Juliet lapped at the abused nipple, taking away the pain and causing him to moan. “God, you look sexy,” she said.

Corey opened his eyes. She was staring down at him, lust written across her face, something he wasn’t used to seeing. It gave him a thrill that someone actually wanted him. Smiling, he closed his eyes again and grabbed onto the headboard, desperate to return to the place he was before, to imagine someone else looking at him like that.

Hands ran over his chest then tweaked his nipples softly. He moaned again. “More,” he said. His nipples were twisted, but again too hard, causing him to cry out. Juliet apologised, but he barely registered it, Sledge’s tirade of f words making Corey go wild, his imagination taking him to places he’d gone so many times in his dreams. Above him the speed picked up, the body riding him clumsily. The movement hurt his stomach, but he was beyond caring, the pressure below was building to the point of... He gasped as a hand cupped his balls. Oh God, that did it!

He thrust up. “Yes, Sledge, yeessss!” he yelled, coming hard.

“What?” Juliet gasped.

Breathing heavily, he opened his eyes and looked up at Juliet’s angry expression, wondering what her problem was—he’d lasted ages this time.

“What do ya want?!” Sledge hollered from the next room.

Corey’s eyes widened as he saw Juliet’s fist coming for his face, the realisation of what he’d called her hitting him harder than her punch.

8

Juliet

Juliet knew she shouldn’t be punching Corey, but she couldn’t stop. Her rage at what he’d called out made her feel used. She finally thought she’d found someone who liked her back, but to find out he was only fucking her because she looked like Sledge... She was a girl, dammit! Not some gay consolation prize.

She stopped hitting Corey’s face and thumped down on his stomach. Corey let out a howl. She jumped off him, shocked at what she’d done. He doubled over, clutching his gut, his whimpering making her feel even worse. But she had a right to be angry!

“You’re a bastard!” she yelled, trying to force all sympathy aside. He’d caused this, not her. Her hands loosened, her worries now fighting with her anger—and winning. She reached out and touched his shoulder, concerned that she’d hurt him badly. He curled up into a tighter ball, covering both his stomach and face. He was only small; she shouldn’t have hit him that hard—or at all, and especially not in the stomach when he was feeling so sick. “I’m sorry,” she sobbed, moving back onto the mattress. She tried to shift his arm out of the way to see what damage she’d caused, but instead he yelled out and rolled onto his front, probably thinking she was going to hit him again.

The door crashed open. Rough hands grabbed her from behind before she could react, pulling her away from Corey and out of the room. Sledge slammed her into the passage wall. Knowing what was coming, Juliet covered her face, but Sledge yanked her arms down and slapped her hard, then shoved her over. She cried out as her hip connected with the wooden floor, then scrambled backwards, desperate to get away from Sledge. He usually slapped her if she pissed him off, but today she had a feeling she was in for something different, like the time with the sledge-hammer when they were seven. He’d crushed two of her fingers and gained a nickname that day—Sledge replacing Tyson permanently.

“Sledge, no!” Corey’s brother shot out of his bedroom, and grabbed Sledge’s arm.

Sledge wrenched it free and turned on him. “She wuz beating up Corey!”

Naf’s shocked gaze moved to Juliet. He resembled Corey, just an older and fatter version, the towel around his waist doing a miserable job of hiding his beer gut. Sobbing, Juliet pulled her knees to her chest, absolutely humiliated he was seeing her naked.

Naf’s girlfriend entered the passage and wrapped a blanket around Juliet. “You guys go check on Corey. I’ll take care of Juliet.”

“The bitch doesn’t deserve to be taken care of,” Sledge spat. He took off into Corey’s room.

Naf followed, but got shoved out and the door slammed in his face. He thumped it and yelled, “He’s my brother, you bastard!” Something thudded on the other side, causing him to jump backwards. He swore up a storm, then spun around, quickly zeroing in on Juliet. “You can piss off! I don’t want cha living here anymore.”

His girlfriend placed a hand on his chest. “Calm down, honey,” Aroha said. “There must be a good reason she hit him. Juliet likes Corey; she wouldn’t have done it for nuthin’.”

“He’s got cancer!” Naf hollered so loud his face turned red. “There’s no excuse.”

Aroha bobbed down and coaxed Juliet to stand. “Let’s go to your room and you can tell me what happened.”

“Leave her there,” Naf said.

Ignoring him, Aroha helped Juliet through the doorway. Naf followed them inside, insisting that Aroha come out. Aroha started scolding him like a mother would a child, causing Naf to go silent. He quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.

Shaking her head, Aroha sat down on the bed next to Juliet. “He’s worse than a bloody kid sometimes, but don’t worry, I’ll make sure he lets you stay. All I needa do is withhold sex and he rolls over and does whatever I want.”

Juliet glanced at the Māori woman. Aroha was dressed in one of Naf’s XL shirts, which swamped her body, making her brown legs look painfully thin. Although Naf’s girlfriend was nuttier than the Crazy Cat Lady from The Simpsons, the woman’s hair just as wild, Juliet thought she was nice. Yeah, Aroha was way too old for Naf, but Juliet liked having another female around, especially one who always sided with her.

“What happened, love?” Aroha asked. “Why’d ja hit Corey for?”

Juliet wiped her eyes. “He used me.”

“How?”

“He called out Sledge’s name while we were having sex.”

Aroha’s mouth dropped open. After what seemed like ages, she finally spoke, her raspy voice sounding shocked. “I thought he wuz answering Sledge.”

“No, that’s why I hit him. First Tama rejects me cos I look like Sledge, and now Corey fucks me cos of it. I can’t win.”

“Jeez, I never thought Corey wuz gay. He doesn’t look or act it.”

“Well, what else could he be? He follows Sledge round like a puppy dog, and when Sledge isn’t here, all he talks about is, Sledge said this, Sledge said that. But, it didn’t hit me until he called out Sledge’s name when he came.”

“Does Sledge know Corey has a thing for him?”

“Doubt it. Sledge is a clueless dumbarse and I can’t see Corey telling him. Sledge is almost as bad as Tama when it comes to being homophobic.”

“Are you gonna tell Sledge?”

Juliet screwed up her face. “Are you nuts? He won’t believe me, and I’ll pro’bly get slapped around again. Sledge hates anyone saying bad things about Corey. He even punched Tama for calling Corey a fag when Corey dyed his hair blond a few months back.” She straightened, wondering whether Aroha could get her out of this mess. “Can you tell Naf why I hit Corey?”

“It should really come from Corey, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks.” Juliet pulled the blanket further around her and hugged Aroha with one arm, then leaned her head against the woman’s shoulder and started crying again. “I really liked him.”

Aroha ran a hand over her hair. “I know. Just let it all out.”

Juliet continued to cry, thinking about all the guys she’d ever liked and how every one of them had done something mean to her. She’d had a huge crush on Nike Daniels in primary, but all he did was call her names and push her over when she’d tried to kiss him, then she’d fallen for Tama... She started crying louder, the memory of what he’d said still humiliating her: ‘You look so much like your bro it would be like fuckin’ Sledge, and I’m no homo.’ And now Corey had proven his point.

By the time she finally stopped crying, the front of Aroha’s shirt was damp. Embarrassed, Juliet sat up and wiped her eyes.

Aroha patted her knee. “Feeling better?”

Juliet shook her head. “It’s not fair. Why couldn’t I look like Ash and Dante instead of bloody Sledge?”

“Well, darling, you are his twin.”

“It’s not that, I mean, me and Sledge don’t look anything like either of our parents. I’ve seen pics of my mum and she wuz gorgeous, but instead I look like this.” She waved a hand in front of her face. “Why do I hafta be so ugly?”

Aroha frowned. “You’re not ugly, and Sledge isn’t either.”

“That’s cos it’s alright for a guy to look rough, but not a girl. Once, my grandmother cut my hair short and people thought I wuz Sledge’s li’l brother.” She grabbed her small breasts. “And I’ve got hardly anything up here, which makes me look even more like a boy. What guy would want me?”

“You’ll find someone.”

“When? Cos I’m sick of waiting. I’m eighteen and I haven’t even been on a date. And having sex with Corey doesn’t count, cos that’s all we did. I want to be asked out to a movie or a restaurant, for a guy to want to spend time with me and not my brother. God, I never thought I’d be jealous of Sledge, but even he gets more guys wanting him than I do. It’s not fair!”

“Then maybe you should lower your expectations, like I have. The unattractive guys are really appreciative of any attention.”

“Naf’s not unattractive, he’s just a little overweight.”

Aroha shrugged. “He’s not really my type, but he treats me right, much better than the hot guys ever did. Find someone like that.”

“I can’t even get ugly guys. I knew it wuz too good to be true with Corey, cos he’s so cute, but I really thought I’d finally found someone, like the time with Tama.”

Aroha sat up straight. “What happened with Tama?”

“He used to hang around me a lot, but later I found out it wuz only cos he thought he could get money offa me. But I had no idea, and just assumed he liked me, so when he stayed over at our place one night I went into Sledge’s room to ask if he wanted to go to the movies, but I found him lying on the bed rubbing himself, so I thought he might like it if I blew him—”

Aroha practically squealed, “You blew Tama?”

“Yeah, he told me to keep doin’ it, but he wuz pushing my head down too much and making me gag, so I asked if he wanted sex. He said yes, then when I mentioned using a condom he opened his eyes and went nuts at me. He pushed me away, saying he thought he wuz dreaming. He wuz really, really mean.”

“Is he big?”

“Eh? What do ya mean?”

Aroha moved her head forward. “You know, is he well-hung?”

Juliet screwed up her face, shocked by the question. “You can’t be serious? I’ve just poured my heart out to you and all you’re concerned ’bout is how big Tama’s cock is?”

“You don’t needa get offended, it’s a simple enough question.”

Juliet stared at the woman.

“C’mon, please tell me,” Aroha said. “My friend reckons he’s ten inches. So, is he?”

“I didn’t have a measuring tape, so how would I know?”

“Don’t be a spoilsport. If you wanted to know, I’d tell you.”

“I wouldn’t ask sumpthin’ like that, it’s rude.”

Aroha scowled. “Sheesh, I stuck up for you against my own boyfriend, so you could at least tell me.”

Juliet’s shoulders slumped forward. “Yeah, sorry. I haven’t seen many cocks so I wouldn’t know what big is, but Corey’s one wuz loads smaller than Tama’s, which kinda surprised me cos I just assumed guys were all the same size.”

Aroha punched a fist in the air. “I knew he wuz hung, I bloody knew it.”

Juliet shook her head. “You really are weird.”

“Nah, I just have a thing for Tama. That boy is sizzling hot and I’d die to have some of his sausage. And how could you not know that guys have different sized wangs? Sheesh, you have three brothers, girl.”

Juliet’s face dropped. “That’s wrong in so many ways. And I never looked at theirs. Gross, gross, gross! And you shouldn’t be talking ’bout Tama like that, cos you’re with Naf.”

“Not like I’m married to him, and I’m never gonna be stupid enough to do that.” A smile crept across Aroha’s face. “Hey, do ya think you could get me a visit with Tama?”

“But, that would be cheating on Naf.”

“No it wouldn’t, it would just be a visit, and we can go together. Anyway, Tama isn’t interested in me, he turned down my proposal, but I still like lookin’ at him.”

Juliet’s eyes widened. “You proposed to him?”

“It wuz just before I started dating Naf. I sent him a letter cos I thought he might say yes to get conjugal rights. When he didn’t reply, I asked his cousin what Tama thought of my proposal letter. The li’l shit said New Zealand doesn’t have conjugal rights, and that if it did Tama still wouldn’t marry me. He wuz really rude too, and called me a paedophile.” Aroha pursed her lips. “Tama is over the legal age.”

“What’s conjugal rights?”

“It’s when married couples get time to have sex if one of them is locked up. I visited my ex in prison when I lived in Australia, and just assumed they allowed it here too.” Aroha frowned. “The bastard divorced me when he got out, saying he enjoyed shagging his inmates more than me. Still, I love the sod.”

Juliet covered her mouth to stop from laughing. It didn’t matter whether she was in a foul mood, Aroha could always crack her up, although the woman never did it intentionally.

“Maybe I could visit my ex and Tama at the same time, cos they’re in the same prison.” Aroha hesitated. “Um... actually, that’s pro’bly a bad idea; I’ll just see them on different days. So, will ya get me a visit? I’ll go tell Naf straight away ’bout what Corey did if you promise me.”

“I s’pose I can check if it’s alright to visit him.” Juliet wondered whether Tama would see her after she got him in trouble with Ash. She wasn’t exactly his favourite person, although he did owe her for all the money she gave him.

“Choice, lemme know when you hear. I’ll go talk to Naf now.” Aroha got up and headed for the door.

Juliet watched Aroha close the door behind her, feeling bad for Naf. Yeah, he’d yelled at her, but he was usually nice, and she didn’t like the thought of Aroha going behind his back to see Tama, regardless of whether Tama was interested or not. She would never do that to someone, because, no matter what Aroha said, it was cheating. Maybe she should tell Naf, but then again, she was already in his bad books.

Sighing, she headed for her drawers and grabbed some clothes. She wished she’d told Aroha no, because she didn’t want the woman’s help now. She couldn’t stand dishonest people, especially when it affected someone nice like Naf.

She tugged on her green skirt and matching top, wanting to get as far away from this crazy place as possible. Maybe she could visit Ash and get him to sort out this mess for her instead. He always came to her defence, unlike Dante who usually laughed and said it was her own fault. Or maybe she could ask Ash if she could move back in. Yeah, that wasn’t a bad idea at all. She grabbed her keys off the colourful cabinet her grandfather had made and headed for the door.

9

Ash

Ash parked the car close to the emergency entrance to Middleton Hospital. The large white building was surprisingly quiet, with only a few cars dropping off people. Carly jumped out and ran around to Ash’s door. Again, Ash got a flash of her breasts as she leaned over to unbuckle his seatbelt.

“You need help walking, hun?” she asked, still looking excited.

“No, I’m fine.” He gave her a friendly smile, no longer disliking her. On the car ride over, she’d softened him. He hadn’t realised how much she’d cared about his brother; Dante’s perception of her originally clouding his view. But, she’d showed concern for him, or in her mind Dante, constantly asking whether he was alright, so, by the time they’d pulled up to the hospital he’d come to the conclusion that she was in love with his brother.

“Why’d ja text that nude photo of Dante to everyone?” Ash asked, getting out of the car. “You did yourself no favours, it upset him loads.”

She scowled at him. “Stop speaking like you’re not Dante! Can’t you just shoosh it?”

“No, cos I’m not him.”

“But, I want you to be.” She touched the tattoo on his neck. Ash stayed still as her fingers wandered up his face. “You’ve got different tattoos, but you look the same.”

“So, you knew I wuzn’t him all along?”

She shook her head, her face screwing up like she was going to cry. He wasn’t sure whether she understood, then she spoke, her voice sounding almost normal. “I didn’t send that text. Someone stole my phone. Deano found out about it and went ballistic, beating me up. I wanted to leave him for you, but he threatened to kill you.” She started crying. “Then you told me to fuck off without letting me explain. You hurt me bad.”

Ash frowned, pissed with Deano. He didn’t blame the guy for getting upset over the cheating, but there was no way in hell the bastard should’ve hurt Carly. If a female did that to him he might yell, but he would never strike a woman. Oh, he’d leave her, but hitting them, nope, that was not on... Now, a man, that would be a totally different ball game, because he’d bash the shit out of anyone who touched what was his.

“Don’t cry,” he said. “I understand now,” and I’ll make sure Dante does too, not adding the last part since she already thought he was his brother.

Carly grabbed Ash round the waist and hugged him. “I’m so sorry, Dante, please forgive me.”

“Nuthin’ to forgive.”

She leaned her head against his chest. Not knowing what to do, Ash patted her on the back, feeling awkward and self-conscious, standing out in the open with blood covering both of them. He glanced at Carly’s children in the back seat, the two little ones babbling away to each other. “Get your kids out,” he said, extricating himself from her.

Carly hollered for them, sending a shaft of pain through Ash’s head. He cradled it, watching as the two kids scooted out. Carly took off after them as they headed through the sliding doors, yelling at them to stop. Seeing his opportunity, Ash jumped into the car and fired up the engine. There was no way he was going into the hospital with a battered woman. He could just imagine what people would think seeing her with a smashed-up face, and with him decked out in leathers and tats.

Carly stopped at the entrance, then turned and ran back, yelling at him to stop. Ash floored the accelerator.

***

He pulled into his driveway, parking Dante’s car behind his Chevy. He jumped out, hoping that Beth was still home. Once he was cleaned up, he needed to apologise for how he’d acted earlier. He knew he shouldn’t have ignored her, but he’d been in shock over Sledge finding out about the rape, plus she kept asking questions, not giving him a moment’s peace. And he was sick of her always nagging him about his past, something that he wasn’t used to. Tiana knew there were certain things he couldn’t handle discussing, but Beth was determined to pull out those painful memories, ones that he’d fought so fucking hard to bottle up so he could function without fragmenting.

Ash stopped at the front door and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He breathed in then let it out slowly, repeating this several times and blanking his mind in the way another rape victim had taught him. The woman had told him to think of something he loved and to bring up the image, blocking out everything else. Often it was the sea, where he would get lost surfing for hours, but instead an image of Kai Iwi Lakes with its warm waters swam across his mind, a place his family used to visit often before his parents divorced. His lips curved into a smile as he pictured his father throwing a squealing six-year-old Dante into the water from their little boat. His father had dived in to bring Dante back, but as soon as Dante was on solid ground, he’d screamed and kicked their father in the shins.

The boom of a sound system shattered the happy memory. Ash glanced at the road as a souped-up Nissan Skyline drove slowly past, the guys inside giving him a friendly salute. The gang were regular customers, one of the few who rarely gave him trouble. He lifted his chin in acknowledgement, then unlocked the house and headed for his bedroom. He poked his head inside, half-disappointed, half-relieved that Beth wasn’t there. He checked Dante’s room next, then the backyard. When he couldn’t find anyone, he pulled out his phone and dialled Dante’s number, his brother picking up on the third ring.

Ash heard what sounded like his son in the background. “Are you at Tiana’s?”

“Yeah.”

“What’re doin’ there?” Ash asked, annoyed that Tiana had let Dante come over. No matter what his ex said about him being free to visit Angelo, it was never that easy.

“I wanted to see Angelo,” Dante replied.

“Put Tiana on the phone for a sec, and after I talk to her you hafta come straight home, I needa brief you on some shit that went down today.”

“What shit?”

“I’ll tell ya when you get here, now put Tiana on.”

“Okay.” Dante called out to Tiana, followed by Tiana asking who it was. “Ash.”

Ash gripped the phone when Dante insisted a second time that she take the call. After several seconds, her voice came over the line. “I can’t talk now, Ash.”

“Only cos it’s me.”

“Ash...” She breathed out, her tone frustrated.

“I wanna see my son. If you can’t stand the sight of me, then let Dante bring him back. Not today, next weekend. I’ve gotta sort some things out first.”

“Not to that house.”

“There’s nuthin’ wrong with my home.”

“You know why I don’t like it.”

“Christ, Tiana, you can’t stop me from spending time with my own son.”

“You can visit him here.”

“Yeah, right. Every time I arrange to come over, there’s always some emergency that makes you leave the house with him. I’m sick of it.”

Her voice went high, a tell-tale sign that she was lying. “I don’t do it on purpose.”

“Bollocks, you do so.”

“Don’t use that language, and it’s not my fault you won’t quit that horrible job.”

“For frig’s sake, stop gettin’ on my case ’bout work, you damn well know I can’t quit.”

“So, your job’s more important than your son? Than me?” She said the last two words so soft he almost missed them. Behind her, he could hear Dante telling her to give it a rest.

Ash breathed out. “You know what happened when I tried to give it up. Christ, my boss is dangerous; I don’t wanna go through that again, I hafta keep my family safe,” especially Angelo. I couldn’t deal with Craven sending his men near him again.

“I don’t want my son around drugs or criminals.”

“He won’t be around drugs and I’m his father regardless of what I do.” When she didn’t reply, he added, “Please, Tiana, I miss him, and a boy needs his father.”

“You didn’t.”

Ash went still, her words a shock.

“Oh God, Ash, I’m sorry, it just came out. I’m so sorry.”

Ash threw the phone across the lawn, then stormed back into the house, slamming his bedroom door behind him. Tiana fucking knew everything about his relationship with his father, and knew how much it stung. Just because he couldn’t be around his old man, didn’t mean he didn’t want one that cared about him. At one point, he’d thought that maybe his father could change, that he could be a “dad,” but then again, he just had to admit his old man was unwell, not right in the head, so what did he expect. And his cousin, the man who acted more like a father than his biological one, couldn’t be around either. He missed Hunter, but knew his cuz was just as damaged as his old man. But at least Hunter was safe in the psyche ward, and couldn’t harm himself there. Although it hurt having to admit him, it was still the right decision.

Ash closed his eyes. Was he psychologically up the wop too? He had fits of uncontrollable rage like his father. Maybe Tiana was right, that his son was better off without him—safer. But that hurt, and unlike the way his father had treated him, he’d never hit Angelo. And if his stepdad hadn’t come into his life, he might not have gone to live with Hunter and been pulled into the drug trade. He could’ve become a graphic artist, something his old art teacher had suggested. He swore, realising what he was doing, falling into that same old trap of regret.

He stripped and headed into the shower, letting the water wash away the remnants of the day, and wishing it could do the same for Tiana’s words. Once done, he checked out his face in the mirror, surprised to see how little damage Len had done. Just a split lip, but without the swelling, though the back of his head still hurt like a bastard. He grabbed one of Beth’s mirrors and angled it so he could see the damage, gingerly touching the sensitive area. Other than being sore, it seemed alright, the bleeding having stopped. Satisfied, he headed into his room and pulled on some clothes, then lay down on the bed, wanting to catch some shut-eye before Dante returned.

***

His shirt was tugged over his head, suffocating him briefly. ‘I’m sorry, I tried; I really did,’ Chaz said, undoing Ash’s belt. ‘But I promise you won’t remember a thing, I’ve made sure of that.’

Blackness took Ash, then movement brought him back. He was lying naked on his stomach, with his legs pushed apart. The realisation of what was going to happen hit him hard. He cried out, desperately trying to get away, but his body remained motionless. Pain entered him below, ripping out a scream. Chaz swore, then pushed Ash’s face into the pillow. Fighting to breathe, Ash threw the pillow onto the floor and bolted upright, knocking Chaz off him. Panicked, he turned around and swung out, then froze. Instead of Chaz, Beth stood before him, the drawn curtains blocking out most of the daylight and shrouding her body in shadows. Confused, Ash glanced down at himself, finding himself dressed.

“A dream,” and one he had far too often. He looked back up at Beth, who hadn’t budged. She was standing stock-still like she was afraid to move, then as though someone had flicked on a switch she touched her eye.

His gaze followed the movement. “Did I hurt you?” he said, not sure what he’d done while dreaming.

“It’s nuthin’.”

He switched on the light then pushed off the bed. He took a hold of Beth’s hand and lowered it, horrified to see her reddened eye. “Oh, Beth, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He leaned in and kissed it gently, feeling awful when she flinched. “I would never hurt you on purpose.”

“It’s no less painful whether you do it on purpose or by accident.”

“I-I wuz having a nightmare.”

She appeared sad. “I’m not talking ’bout my eye. Why do you ignore me, Ash? You just walked out this morning as though I wuzn’t even there.”

“I’m sorry, I wuz upset over what happened at the parole hearing.”

“Why couldn’t you tell me that earlier? And it’s not just this morning either. You ignore me when I ask you questions, only giving me titbits of info when you feel like it. You’re purposely shutting me out and it hurts.”

Ash grimaced, knowing it was true.

She sighed. “I love you, but I can’t take this anymore. Please gimme sumpthin’ that shows you care ’bout me, that you want me to stay. I understand you don’t wanna get married, but I’m not asking that, just ... I want to feel like I’m your lover, not a nuisance.”

He looked down, wondering whether he should tell her about Chaz—the full story, not the abridged version. But, admitting to being raped wasn’t easy. In the past he was afraid to tell people because he thought they might think he was gay. Although he no longer believed that, it was still something he didn’t want to talk about, because pity was just as suffocating as his face being pushed into a pillow.

“You gonna say sumpthin’ or do you want me to leave?” she said, her expression worried.

He sat down on the bed and put his hands to his head. “Sometimes it’s just easier not to talk. I used to blurt things out without thinking, which did more damage than good. I hurt people’s feelings cos of it, which is why I prefer to keep my thoughts to myself.”

“But, it hurts me when you tell me nuthin’. Partners are s’posed to know things ’bout the person they love, whether good or bad, but you’re even more of a mystery now than when we first met. Please... I want a normal relationship with you, and to be able to touch you without you lashing out at me.”

“I thought you were my stepfather.”

“It’s been ten years since Chaz beat you up, you hafta stop letting your memories mess with your life.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“Maybe if you didn’t bottle things up all of the time you might be able handle things better. Talk to me, confide in me, lemme take some of the load offa you. I love you and wanna help.”

“I thought I wuz handling things.”

She touched her eye. “Does this look like it?”

He pulled a face. “You’re making me feel like shit.”

“I’m just stating facts, and everyone else may see the big tough Ash Rata, but I see a scared boy.”

“I’m not scared,” he said, getting wound up.

“Yes, you are, you looked terrified when you swung out at me.”

“For Christ’s sake, don’t say it like that, I thought you were Chaz.”

“You don’t hafta keep telling me that, and even if Chaz were here now, you’re big, you could take him on easily. Think that, cos you could pound him to nuthin’.”

“You don’t understand.” I’m never big in my dreams, I’m always fifteen.

“Then explain it to me.”

“I wish I could, but I can’t.”

“Why?”

Because it hurts too much and you won’t understand, no one can unless they’ve had it happen to them. And you... Christ, when you asked me to force you I came so close to leaving you, so fucking close. You have no bloody idea what rape feels like, and for you to fantasise about it made me want to scream at you. It’s my fault for not telling you, but how can I without upsetting you? Do you want me to tell you I think you’re perverted? I don’t think so. It’s just better to shut up, because at least I hurt you less this way.

“Ash...” she drew out his name, like she was exasperated with him. “You’re doin’ it again. Stop holding things in. It’s not good for either of us. How ’bout you blurt it out like you said you used to, just get it over and done with, like ripping off a plaster.”

“It won’t make things better,” nothing can do that.

“Why not?”

“Please, Beth, just quit it.”

“No! I’ve had enough. You tell me now or I’m leaving.”

He knew she meant it, but he still couldn’t bring himself to tell her outright. He looked down at his feet, wondering whether he could possibly word it in a way without actually saying he was raped. He could maybe tell her that his stepfather had dropped a roofie into his beer, then maybe she would understand and back off, because most people knew what that drug was used for. He went to open his mouth, but got shoved onto the bed, the top of his sore head coming into contact with the wall. Consumed by the jolt of pain, he turned onto his side and cradled it.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Beth said, her voice dripping with disbelief. “Look at me.” She climbed on top of him, and tried to push him onto his back.

“Stoppit.”

“No, I’ve had a gutful of your brooding.”

He let go of his head and grabbed her around the waist to move her off him.

“Don’t touch me!” she yelled, slapping him across the cheek.

Ash let go, too shocked to do anything else.

She started crying. “I needa know, so tell me what you’re hiding, cos I can’t handle this anymore.” She screwed up her face, like she thought he was never going to tell her, but for the first time he actually wanted to, well, not wanted—but needed to, because right at that moment he realised he’d hurt her more by keeping things a secret.

“I’m sorry, I—”

She cut him off before he could explain what had happened to him. “I don’t care if you’re sorry cos you don’t mean it.”

“I do—”

“Shut up, just shut up!  You’re a liar! Cos if you did mean it you wouldn’t do exactly the same thing over and over again. I hate it, cos it makes me feel like nuthin’. God, even Dante cares more ’bout me than you do. I should’ve asked him out, cos at least he makes love to me like he cares.”

“What?” Ash said, not sure if he’d heard right.

Beth’s face dropped. “That didn’t come out right,” she said, getting off him.

He pushed to his feet. “Did you just say you fucked Dante?”

She shook her head.

“You said he makes love to you.”

“It wuz one time, an accident.”

Ash went silent, completely speechless.

“We didn’t mean for it to happen,” she said, her soft voice snapping Ash out of his dumbstruck state.

“So, his cock accidentally slipped into your pussy?”

She shook her head vigorously, her expression scared.

“When?” He paused, waiting for an answer. “When?!”

“After you left for work today, we got into a fight. We did and said things without thinking.”

Ash put his hands to his head, wanting to scream at her. His brother? His own fucking brother! “How could you do that?” How could Dante do that? “You hate him. You’re nasty to him. Why would you...” All his thoughts rushed his mind at once, battling each other to make sense of things. She always dropped everything to pick Dante up, got whiny when Dante had women around... “You’ve always wanted him, haven’t ya?” He ploughed ahead before she could answer. “Didja think of him while we were fucking?”

Again, she shook her head vigorously.

“Bullshit, I betcha chose me cos you knew Dante would cheat on you.”

She opened her mouth then shut it, her expression telling him it was true.

“Why didja even ask me out if you wanted him?”

“Cos I wanted to be with you just as much.”

He pointed at her face, making her flinch. “You’re a liar. You used me, everyone fuckin’ uses me.”

“It wuzn’t like that,” she said, reaching for him.

He sidestepped her hands. “Don’t touch me, don’t ever fuckin’ touch me again.”

“I didn’t wanna hurt you, but you did this, you kept pushing me away. And you lied to me, cos I know you’re still in love with your ex. If you could, you’d cheat on me in an instant to be with her.”

“I would never cheat! I’d break things off if I wanted to be with someone else.”

“Now you’re lying, cos you want to be with her, not me.”

“I didn’t sleep with her, you slept with Dante.”

“You pushed me.”

“So, it’s my fault you fucked my brother?”

Her jaw clenched. “If you’d showed me love, instead of treating me like crap, I wouldn’t have done him. I showed you that I love you.”

“You don’t love me, cos you can’t. You don’t treat someone you love like that, cheat on them with their own brother. He’s the closest family I have, the only person I could fully trust, who knows everything ’bout me. Now you stuffed that up. I’ve got no one now. No one!”

“That’s your own fault! You push everyone away!”

“Get out!”

“This is my room.”

“Get out!”

“I hate you, I hate you!” She went for the door, jolting back as it opened from the outside.

Dante stood in the passage, blocking her exit. “What the hell is goin’ on?” His eyes widened. “What happened to your face, Beth?”

She pushed past him, the front door slamming a few seconds later.

Dante’s gaze moved to Ash. “What did you do?”

“Me?” Ash charged at Dante, shoving him into the passage wall.

Dante shoved him back, his expression now angry. “You don’t hit women!”

Ash moved his face within a breath of Dante’s. “She wuzn’t crying cos of that, you bastard. You fucked her!”

Dante’s face went slack.

Ash pushed away from him. “Fucking a married woman wuzn’t enough for you, so you went after my one?”

“Oprosti mi.”

“Your apology means shit. You spoke to me over the phone like nuthin’ had happened. You’re only sorry you got caught.”

Dante flinched. “I snapped. She wouldn’t stop pushing me.”

“You fucked her cos you were mad at her?”

“No, I wanted her, always have, but I stopped it when I realised what I wuz doin’.”

“So, you think that makes it right?” Ash spat. “You fuck her, then suddenly get a conscience after coming?”

“I stopped it before that. And she should’ve asked me out, not you. Everyone chooses you over me.”

“Yeah, the rapists and cheaters choose me. Not sumpthin’ to be fuckin’ jealous over.”

“You can’t include Tiana in that. You should’ve stayed with her, but you hafta control everything and everyone completely. You never compromise, you just do as you please.”

“I don’t do as I please!” Ash yelled. “You’re the one who does whatever the hell you want. And if I did what I wanted, I wouldn’t be selling drugs; I’d be with Tiana and Angelo.”

“So Beth’s a consolation, or with the way you treat her, a booby prize, someone that’s there cos you can’t get what and who you want.”

“She wuz still my woman! I never cheated on her.”

“You don’t own her! And you did cheat. You may not have fucked someone else, but you would’ve dropped her in a second if Tiana came running back. Beth’s just there when you feel like fuckin’ someone. Stuff her feelings. Well, what didja expect her to do, stick around you forever while you treat her like crap?”

Ash’s hands clenched into fists.

“You don’t even love Beth,” Dante continued, his face going red with anger. “So, yeah, I fucked her, but I also fuckin’ love her. You ... you just fuck her, but give nuthin’ back. You fuck everyone over, like Sledge. You’re a violent arsehole just like Dad!”

Words couldn’t describe how Ash felt—not a cliché but reality.

Anger...

Hurt...

Betrayal...

...they weren’t enough. Pure rage was closer to the mark. Every fucked up thing that had ever happened to him battered his mind: his father beating him up, his stepfather raping him, his mother being killed in front of him, the woman he loved and trusted leaving with his child, his kid brother assaulting his mate and his other brother fucking his girlfriend. He wanted to stop those thoughts, to punish the people who hurt him, to hit out...

again,

again,

and again...

Dante hollered, catching his attention. Ash froze, realising he’d been hitting his brother on autopilot. He dropped his hands and stared in shock at Dante’s bloodied face. The next second Dante’s fist barrelled into Ash’s stomach, making him stumble back. Coughing, he looked up as Dante shoved him into the wall, slamming more breath out of him and jolting his head. Ash wobbled, confusion and dizziness taking over. He lifted a hand, then let it flop back down, too disorientated to understand the angry words spilling out of his brother’s mouth. His eyelids wavered, then closed as he slid down the wall and onto his butt. Banging reverberated throughout the house, but he couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. He needed to sleep...

“Ash?” Dante said, his voice no longer angry. “I didn’t hit you that hard.”

Ash’s chin was yanked up.

“Open your eyes,” Dante said, slapping Ash’s cheek. “What’s happening to you?”

“My head,” Ash mumbled, his words slurring.

“I didn’t hit your head.”

“Len did—” Ash slumped over.

10

Dante

Dante watched as another nurse went past, anxiously waiting for someone to tell him whether Ash was alright. His sister continued to babble in the seat next to him, increasing his anxiety.

“How could you do that, Dante, how could you?” Juliet hissed. Earlier, she’d turned up at his place, yelling and banging on the front door when she’d heard the fight.

Dante shoved his fingers through his hair. “I only punched him in the gut,” he said quietly, self-conscious of being overheard. A woman with a toddler was giving him curious glances. He wondered whether it was because of his battered face. Although the blood had been cleaned off, he had bruising under his left eye while his mouth and jaw hurt like a motherfucker—nothing broken, although it sure as hell felt like it.

“Then how did he get knocked out?”

People stopped what they were doing and looked up.

“Lower your voice,” Dante said. “We fought, but I never hit his head. He mentioned Len Jones. Ash phoned me earlier, saying he needed to brief me on sumpthin’ that had gone down at the Joneses’.”

“The Joneses? I don’t understand why Ash even went near those psychos after they tried to shoot you. You two are so stupid sometimes, it makes me wanna scream.”

“Hey, we’re not stupid.”

“Stupid, thick-headed, brainless, testosterone-crazed men...” She covered her face, little hiccups accompanying her crying. “I couldn’t take it if Ash died.”

Dante placed an arm around her shoulders, and gave her a gentle squeeze. “He won’t, he’s strong, he’ll be fine,” he said with more confidence than he felt.

She leaned against his shoulder. “Why won’t they tell us anything? It’s been almost an hour now; I can’t take it anymore.”

“How ’bout I ask the nurse at the counter, while you try gettin’ a hold of Sledge again.”

“Sure,” she sniffled, pulling away from him.

Dante headed for the nurses’ station. Halfway across the waiting room, his phone went off. He pulled it out of his jacket pocket, glanced at the name, then clicked it on. “Beth—”

“I’m so sorry, Dante, I didn’t mean to tell Ash. Are you okay?”

“No, Ash collapsed.”

“What?! Is he alright?”

“I’m not sure, the doctors won’t tell me.”

“Where are you?”

“At Middleton hospital with Juliet.”

“Why did he collapse?”

“Sumpthin’ ’bout Len Jones hitting his head.”

“Oh God.” She started crying.

Dante looked down at his feet. “Ash is strong, he’ll be fine.”

“I’m coming now.” She hung up.

Dante opened up his contacts list, then hit Tiana’s number. When she answered, he rattled off what he’d told Beth, getting the same startled response and an affirmation that she was coming. He hung up, then went to the nurses’ station. He rapped on the countertop, attracting the attention of the young nurse talking on the phone.

She covered the receiver, “No, I have not heard anything about your brother,” she said in a clipped manner. She was dressed in the nurses’ lilac uniform with her brown hair pulled back into a tight bun and one hell of a big nose, reminding him of his cousin Nadija. At first she’d been happy to answer his questions, but after a while she’d become abrupt, probably since both himself and Juliet had been pestering her every five minutes.

“Can’t you check again?” he said. “It’s been almost an hour since my bro arrived, they must know sumpthin’ by now.”

“Sir, I can’t keep checking constantly, and I’ve already told you, I’ll let you know when information comes through. Now, please take a seat.”

A sound caught Dante’s attention. His focus shifted to the corridor on his right. Halfway down it, the doctor he’d spoken to on arrival was following a male nurse, the latter pushing a gurney.

“No probs, I’ll leave you be,” Dante said to the nurse.

“Good. Thank you,” she said, sounding both exasperated and relieved at the same time. She resumed her conversation on the phone.

Dante gave her a sideway glance, then started walking down the corridor fast, following where the doctor had gone. He didn’t know whether he was allowed down there, as there had been a policeman standing at the entrance a few minutes ago, but stuff it, if the nurse wouldn’t help him, he’d find out himself.

The doctor disappeared round the corner. Dante ran to catch up, his boots echoing down the corridor. He turned right, covered the length of the passage, then pushed through a set of double-doors, coming to a sudden halt on the other side. Seated next to a doorway, a hulk of a policeman with a large beer gut looked up from the book he’d been reading. Seeing Dante, he jumped to his feet, dumping the book in a second.

“How’d you get past my partner?” the cop said, his hand going to his baton.

“There wuz no one there.”

The cop swore. “Bloody useless rookie, I’ve told him enough times not to walk away. Still, you’re not allowed down here, so go back.”

“I’m just tryna find out ’bout my brother. The doc looking after him went this way.”

“Go ask at the nurses’ station.”

A loud voice hollered from the room the officer was guarding. “Copper!”

The cop made a grunting sound. “Why do I always get the shit jobs?”

The person yelled louder, “Tell me about my stepson! Please ... I needa know, it’s driving me insane!”

“I told ja, I’d tell ya when I know something, so stop asking!” The cop frowned at Dante. “What are you waiting for? Go!”

Dante remained still, that voice sounded like... His eyes widened. Shit! The prisoners from the riot were at Middleton. He went to look inside the room.

The cop stepped in front of him. “I won’t ask you again. Leave. Now!”

“Who’s in there?” Dante asked.

“You deaf? Move it or I’ll make you.”

“It sounds like someone I know—”

“Who’s there?” the person called out.

Dante sucked in a breath, not believing his ears. It sounded like his stepfather. The cop grabbed Dante’s arm as he went to enter the room. Dante shook him off and stormed inside, then came to a sudden halt, the person in the bed not who he had expected. A muscular man in his late thirties lay on the mattress with a blanket up to his chest, his pale blue eyes just as surprised as Dante. Both wrists were cuffed to the bed’s railing and a bandage was wrapped around his head, his sandy-coloured hair poking out the top. “You’re a Rata,” the prisoner said.

Dante thought the man looked familiar, but he couldn’t pinpoint why or where he’d seen him. Before he could ask who the prisoner was, his arms were yanked behind his back. Dante pulled free from the cop and spun around. A fine mist hit him in the face. He wiped at it, then hollered in pain as a burning sensation set in, attacking his eyes and wounds. The cop pushed him into the neighbouring bed and yanked his arms behind his back again. A coughing spasm hit Dante as handcuffs were clamped on.

“I can’t brea...” he spluttered.

“What the hell didja do that for?” the prisoner yelled. “He’s my nephew!”

Nephew? Dante was turned around.

“Have you taken drugs?” the cop asked.

There was no way he would admit that to a blue boy, plus he could barely breathe, let alone speak—or see.

“Does your nephew take drugs?” the cop asked the prisoner.

“How the fuck would I know? Stop talking, and help him.”

A buzzer went off, then seconds later footsteps ran into the room. “What happened?” a female voice asked.

“Pepper-spray,” the cop said. “He appears to be struggling to breathe. I’ve seen this happen with a stoner.”

Dante felt hands all over him, directing him to lie down on an empty mattress. Something damp wiped at his face, the person being gentle, then an oxygen mask was placed over his mouth.

“Is he alright?” the prisoner asked.

Dante didn’t understand the concern in the man’s voice. He didn’t know him, and he had no idea why the guy thought he was his nephew.

“Get a gurney and take him to another room,” the cop said.

“Is he dangerous?” the female asked.

“Not in this condition.”

“Well, I’m not going alone with him,” she replied. “He looks like a gang-member.”

“I can’t come, I have to guard the prisoner,” the cop said.

Still in pain and disorientated, Dante struggled to sit up.

The cop pushed him back down and undid one of the cuffs. Metal clanged against metal. Dante lifted his hand, finding it attached to the bed’s railing. He let it fall, all fight gone out of him as his other wrist was cuffed to the other side.

“He can stay here until I can get another officer to escort him out,” the cop said.

“He’ll need help to get home,” the nurse said.

The cop dug into Dante’s pockets, probably looking for his phone or wallet. He stopped at the sound of a static voice. “Hold on.” The cop started talking to someone else. “Jesus, Mary, Mother of God, you can’t be serious? No, no, just gimme their details.”

“What’s wrong?” the nurse asked.

“Two prisoners have escaped.”

11

Sledge

Sledge walked out of the elevator and headed into the hospital waiting area. He spotted his sister in the far corner talking to Beth. He was still pissed off to the max with her, and was aching to know why she’d hurt Corey, but now was definitely not the right time to get on her case. After Ash was out of danger, and once they were home, he would corner her and make her spill everything.

Both Beth and Juliet stopped talking as he neared. Juliet got up from her seat and crossed to the opposite side of the room. She picked up a magazine from the table, using it to shield her face as she sat down. Sledge glared at her for a moment, then turned his attention to Beth.

“Is Ash gonna be alright?” Though fuck knew why he cared so much for the bastard.

Beth looked like she’d been crying. “The doc said he’s woken up. They just wanna check him over before they let us in. Apparently, he had a concussion and should’ve gotten it checked out earlier, sumpthin’ to do with Len Jones.”

Sledge ran a hand over his head, admittedly relieved, but also furious at the mention of the Joneses. “That bloody family. I should go over there and take care of—”

“No, Sledge, keep away from them, they’re dangerous. Ash needs to report the attack, so the police can deal with the lowlife, not you.”

Sledge bared his teeth. “No fuckin’ way I’m gonna let this slide. The police did shit the last time.” His voice lowered to a whisper, “They’re more interested in locking up my bros than helping them.”

“But you’ll get yourself and Dante hurt...”

Not interested in Beth’s opinions, Sledge scanned the waiting room, wondering where Dante was. Next to Juliet, a middle-aged woman was talking on a phone while on the other side a teenage boy played on a games console. Across from them, an elderly man was mumbling to himself, a young mother was trying to stop her toddler from screaming and an extremely skinny, pale teenage girl was reading a magazine.

Recognising Stella, his drunken mistake and Corey’s bugbear, Sledge grabbed Beth’s arm and tugged her around the corner. “Where’s Dante?” he asked, letting Beth go.

“I dunno. He wuzn’t here when I arrived and he’s not answering his phone. Juliet said he went to talk to the nurse at the counter ’bout fifteen minutes ago, but he hasn’t returned.”

Sledge pulled out his phone and hit Dante’s number, the call going straight to Dante’s message system. He turned it off and re-pocketed the phone, then stiffened as two policemen ran towards him. He relaxed as they headed past, disappearing into the adjoining corridor. A second later the nurse from the counter came out from behind her desk.

“Can I please have your attention!” she called out.

Everyone in the waiting room stopped talking and focused on her.

The woman continued, “I’m sorry, but you will all have to evacuate this area. If your situation isn’t urgent, I would like to ask you to come back another day, otherwise please proceed down to floor one and tell the nurses which area you have come from. They have been informed about the situation.”

People got up to leave, half of them grumbling. Sledge bobbed down behind Beth, willing Stella to walk past without noticing him. He didn’t dislike her—far from it, but he’d promised Corey he wouldn’t go near her again, plus Stella wasn’t an easy person to shake off, and he had more important things to deal with right now. The girl continued down the corridor, looking like she was going to puke at any moment. Once she was gone, Sledge straightened.

“What wuz that about, Sledge?” Beth asked.

“A drunken mistake,” and a bloody great root. God, Corey was an accomplished cock-blocker. Sledge didn’t have enough fingers to count how many times his mate had ruined his chances of a root. Sometimes he wondered whether Corey did it on purpose, because whenever he had a chick coming onto him Corey would make some stupid joke about STDs or something else just as bad.

Putting Corey to the back of his mind, Sledge headed for the nurse. He stopped in front of the thirty-something woman. She had brown hair tied in a tight bun and a large nose. “Why’re the pigs...” Sledge corrected himself. “Why are the cops here?”

“Sir, you need to leave now.”

“No, my brother’s here, so I’m not budging until you tell me what’s happened.”

“Patients are not at risk, we have the situation under control, but to make things easier and safer for all concerned, we need to have all non-admitted people leave this area immediately.”

“What situation?”

“Sir, I cannot tell you that.”

Two more police officers ran past.

Beth hit his arm. “The news said there were prisoners admitted here, sumpthin’ to do with a prison riot.”

Sledge’s brows pulled together. “You have prisoners here?” he asked the nurse.

Worry clouded the woman’s face. “Yes, which is why you need to leave now.”

“Did one of them escape?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Didja see any of them?” he asked, concerned about the mention of a riot. He hoped Tama was alright. When she didn’t answer, he continued, “C’mon, you might as well tell me cos I know they’re here now, and I won’t stop bugging you until you do.”

The nurse glanced around before looking back at them. She appeared both excited and scared at the same time, making her appear younger than what Sledge had originally thought. “I only saw two of them. They looked like brothers. The older one had two teardrop tattoos like that American rapper as well as a huge scar down his face. They moved him, because the prisoners wouldn’t stop yelling at each other.”

Sledge felt his heart stop. He glanced over his shoulder. Juliet was now standing next to Beth, her eyes wide, her thoughts no doubt the same as his.

Panicked, he turned back to the nurse and pointed at the corridor. “Didja see my brother go down there? He has a tattoo round his left eye.”

“Yes, but I don’t know where he went.”

Her answer didn’t matter, because he already knew: Dante was missing, and the prisoner who the nurse had described sounded too much like Chaz. Terrified for Dante’s safety, Sledge took off down the corridor with Beth and Juliet following close behind, the nurse’s shouts trailing after them. They rounded a corner, ran the length of another corridor and pushed through a set of double-doors, almost smacking into two policemen.

The officers’ hands went to their batons, one of them yelling at them to leave the area.

“A prisoner took my brother!” Sledge shouted, more interested in getting their help than fluffing around with details.

The older, and fatter, of the policemen gave Sledge a once over. “Describe him.”

“He’s tall, with a tattoo round his left eye.”

“I know where he is. He was mistakenly pepper-sprayed and is being attended to.”

“How the hell did that happen?”

“We thought he was going to attack a prisoner. Turns out it was his uncle.”

Sledge screwed up his face. “Eh? What uncle? We don’t have any in Auckland.”

“A Seth Greenwood.”

“That’s my mate’s stepfather.” Sledge’s eyes went round. “And my stepfather’s last name.” The nurse’s words about the two brothers came to mind. Shit, they couldn’t be brothers, otherwise he would’ve known, Tama would’ve told him. Plus, Greenwood wasn’t exactly an uncommon name.

“Then the guy’s your uncle,” the cop said, snapping Sledge’s attention back to the fat pig.

“Where is he?”

“In there,” the cop said, pointing to the room behind him. “I can take you in, plus your brother will need help to get home.”

The younger cop took up position behind Sledge’s group as they headed into the room. Dante lay on his back on a hospital bed with a mask over his face and a towel covering his eyes.

“Dante!” Beth pushed past Sledge, her distressed cry making Dante turn his head. “Why’s he cuffed? Uncuff him now!”

“It was for his own safety,” the fat cop said, “So he doesn’t rub his eyes—”

A mild Australian accent cut the officer off, the voice coming from behind the green curtain next to Dante’s bed. “Bullshit, the nurse was scared of him. She thought Dante was a gang-member.”

Sledge walked up to the curtain, and pulled it across.

With striking pale blue eyes, Tama’s stepfather smiled up at him. “G’day, Sledge, how ya doin’?”

Sledge stared in stunned silence, still unable to comprehend how Seth could be related to Chaz.

“Not so happy to see me?” Seth said.

“But you’re... You can’t be... What the fuck?”

“They told you I’m your uncle?”

Sledge nodded in shock.

“Sorry, mate, but when Tama first brought you home from school all those years ago I wasn’t exactly happy he made friends with a Rata. I was afraid your brothers would find out I was related to Chaz and try to take revenge on my kids, so I kept it quiet. And don’t blame Tama, he didn’t know. Well, not until he got thrown into prison alongside me and my brother. Guess being a crim is in the family blood.”

“You can’t be Chaz’s brother,” Sledge said, not wanting it to be true. He liked Seth, the guy was nice. He didn’t want him to be related to the sick bastard who had destroyed his family.

“Well, I am, and look at me, I do resemble him.”

“Not that much, just your colouring and eyes,” Sledge said, trying to find any excuse to unrelate Seth from Chaz.

Seth’s expression saddened. “I’m sorry for what my brother did to your family. It shattered me when I heard about it. I was so ashamed of him that I hid having a brother from my wife and kids.” He breathed out, his breathing rattling. “But, I never stopped loving him. I can’t, even though at times I want to, cos I hate what he did, but he wasn’t always sick, and if it wasn’t for him I could be the same. He protected me when we were kids. My uncle raised us...” Seth’s face twisted into a mask of hatred. “That sick pervert bloody made Chaz’s life hell, doing all sorts of shit to him. Then the sick bastard went for me on my tenth birthday. Chaz talked him out of it, said he would go with him willingly as long as my uncle didn’t touch me. He was twelve years old, twelve years old!” Tears glistened in Seth’s eyes. “I didn’t say a word, just hid under my bed, listening to Chaz crying.” He closed his eyes, and shook his head. “But, I still can’t believe Chaz hurt Ash in the same way when he hated what was done to him.”

Juliet started sobbing. Sledge turned to her, but instead got distracted by Beth, her reaction surprising him. Her eyes had gone big, the shock and disbelief he saw mirrored in them reflecting how he’d felt at the parole hearing. “Ash didn’t tell you?” he said, already knowing the answer, although he couldn’t believe it was true. If he had a partner, there was no way he’d hide something that big, no matter how difficult it would be to say.

She shook her head, her features slowly cracking, the disbelief now turning into tears.

Sledge turned back to Seth, the whole situation surreal, like he was stuck in a soap opera where every second something new and shocking was revealed. And he didn’t know how to handle it, or how he was expected to react to Seth’s story. He still hated his stepfather—with a fucking passion—and could never forgive him for hurting his brothers and taking away his mother—no matter what—but the sorrow in Seth’s voice unsettled him, as well as the guilt on the man’s face. It reminded him of Dante, who Sledge knew wrongly blamed himself for their mother’s death.

“No fuckin’ sob story can change how I feel,” Sledge snapped at Seth, annoyed he felt sorry for the guy. “That sick freak killed my mother! I want him to suffer for what he did to her and my brothers.”

“I know,” Seth said. “He has suffered.”

“He deserves to! He destroyed my family.”

Seth squeezed his eyes shut. “My family’s destroyed too. My wife committed suicide, someone else is raising my daughter, and my brother thinks I’ve betrayed him cos my stepson thought it was a great fuckin’ idea to try and kill his uncle.”

“Tama tried to kill Chaz?” Sledge said, not believing his ears.

“Yeah, him and a kid called Zane ambushed Chaz this morning. I don’t know how Tama could do that to me...” Seth’s voice broke. “He couldn’t even stand Zane, hated that li’l punk’s guts, but he still helped him attack Chaz.”

“But, why would he do that?”

“He found out what Chaz did to Ash. Cos of it he started becoming more aggressive towards my brother, constantly threatening him. I had to hold him back a few times, and even had to stop Chaz from goin’ at him too, cos they both hated each other.”

“But Tama didn’t like my bro, Ash scared him shitless.”

“He respected Ash, and he loves you like a brother. Tama may be delusional in many ways, but when it comes to his mates, he will even go against his own family. He’s also a deeply prejudiced bastard, and would insult anyone he considered gay in prison. It made my life a living hell trying to defend him, cos he didn’t care whether the guys he insulted were big or not.”

Beth pushed in front of Sledge. “Who attacked your brother first?” she said, her face almost panicked.

“Tama, then Zane. They came at him from different angles. I tried to stop them, but my mates were also in on it. Nick and Sammy held me back. But Chaz must’ve realised something was up, cos he was too quick for the kids. He knocked Tama down, then went for Zane, but Tama got back up and stabbed him in the back. Chaz turned on Tama, punching the shit outta him. I was screaming at him to stop, then the guards came and all hell broke loose. The other prisoners started attacking the guards and each other. That was when I was let go, cos me and my mates had to defend ourselves too.”

“How old is the other person who attacked Chaz?” Beth asked, almost shouting.

“’Bout a couple of years older than Tama, I’d say twenty. Why?”

Beth started shaking her head. “No, he can’t be.”

Seth looked at her confused. “What’s wrong, love?”

“Tama’s eighteen.”

“Yeah, so?”

“The-the news said...” She took in a large gulp of air, “...tha-that the per-person who caused the attack wuz eighteen.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You do-don’t understand. They said the eighteen-year-old is...” Her tears muffled her last words.

“Is what?”

“Dead.”

12

Dante

Voices awoke Dante. Feeling groggy, he went to take off the damp cloth covering his eyes, but something around his wrists prevented him. He yanked at the metal, not understanding why he was held down.

A hand landed on his arm. “Relax, bro, the pig said he’ll remove the cuffs once you wake up.”

The material over Dante’s eyes was removed. Fluorescent light stung his eyes.

“Can you see alright?” Sledge asked.

Dante squinted at the blurry form of his brother hovering over him. His eyes still stung, but not as bad as before... The memory of being pepper-sprayed returned. He yanked at the handcuffs, more pissed over being sprayed than restrained. “Get them offa me!”

“Oi, Pig!” Sledge shouted. “Shit, I mean, Cop. Remove the cuffs.”

Dante glanced over at the fat policeman approaching the bed, his vision clearing enough to recognise him. “You bastard!” he tried to yell, although it came out as a croak. His throat felt like someone had rubbed it with sandpaper. “Why didja pepper-spray me for?”

“Sorry, I thought you were gonna attack the prisoner,” the cop said, freeing one of Dante’s hands. He moved over to the other side.

Once his other hand was freed, Dante sat up and rubbed his wrists. He must’ve been yanking pretty hard, because the skin was broken. “I thought I heard my stepfather.” He swallowed. “I need a drink.” Sledge handed him a glass of water, which he gratefully gulped down.

“Did you know your uncle was here?”

“No.” Dante asked for more water. After drinking it down, he returned his attention to the cop, annoyed that the man didn’t look sorry. “I didn’t know he wuz my uncle,” he said, wishing he could punch the smarmy bastard.

The cop lifted his hat and scratched his bald spot. “That’s what your brother told me. Your uncle also confirmed it, but I needed to check that all your stories were straight, especially with what has just happened. Kind of thought it was too much of a coincidence to start with, but since I now I have all the information on your stepfather you guys are cleared.”

“What’re ya talking ’bout?” Dante said, wiping at the corner of his eye.

“Your stepfather and another prisoner escaped.”

Dante went still, not believing what he was hearing.

The cop continued talking, “I have your brother’s phone number, so we’ll contact him once your stepfather has been apprehended, but I’d advise you to stay someplace he isn’t aware of.”

Still stunned, Dante nodded automatically.

“If you’re feeling up to it, you can leave now.”

Dante swung his legs over the side of the bed, then almost fell back, Sledge catching him in time. He shook his head, feeling dizzy.

“You’ll still be feeling the effects of the pepper-spray,” the cop said. “You had a stronger than normal reaction to it. It usually reacts badly when the person sprayed has drugs in their system.”

Dante stared at the cop, trying to process what he was saying.

The cop grimaced at him.

Dante finally clicked onto what the man was getting at. “Don’t look at me like that; I’m not a drug addict. I take bipolar medication.”

“What’s the medication called?” the cop asked.

“None of your fuckin’ business, and don’t think I’m letting you get away with pepper-spraying me. I’ll be filing a complaint against you.”

“That’s your prerogative, but I did everything by the book.” The cop left the room, settling himself into the chair outside the door.

“Prick,” Dante muttered.

“You’re bipolar?” Sledge asked.

Dante turned back to Sledge. “Yeah, but no one knows, so keep your mouth shut.”

“Why? Not like anyone will be surprised since Dad and Hunter are too.”

“Cos it’s my choice, and Hunter isn’t bipolar, he has psychosis.”

“Isn’t it the same thing?”

“Course it fuckin’ isn’t.”

“But, you appear normal.”

“Thanks,” Dante said, sarcastically.

“I didn’t mean it as an insult, I just meant you don’t act the same way as Dad.”

“Cos I don’t go off my meds like he does.” Dante frowned, realising he hadn’t taken any for the past two days. He’d never done that before, but with all the shit that had gone down, and not being able to find them, he’d let his routine slip. Although he felt stable, he needed to find them as soon as he got home.

“Is Ash bipolar too?” Sledge asked.

Shit, Ash! “Is he alright?”

“Yup, he woke up ’bout half-an-hour ago. So, is he bipolar? Cos that would explain a lot.”

“No, he’s just a grumpy bastard.”

Sledge smiled, then his face screwed up. “I love you, bro,” he said, pulling Dante into a bear-hug.

Dante patted Sledge’s arm, his brother’s words making him feel good, well, as good as he could be with his eyes still burning like gonorrhoea. “I love you too, Sledge.”

Sledge let him go, his expression broken.

“What’s wrong?” Dante asked.

Sledge shook his head, his lips in a tight line.

A chill prickled up Dante’s arms. “Is Ash really alright?”

Sledge covered his face.

“You’re scaring me, Sledge. What’s happened?”

Sobbing started up in the next bed. Dante glanced at Chaz’s brother. The man had one huge, muscular arm across his eyes. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Tama...” Sledge said, dropping his hand. “He’s dead.”

Dante’s mouth fell open. Tama had been one of Sledge’s closest mates since the beginning of high school. But, if it wasn’t for his kid brother being upset, Dante would’ve been happy that Tama had finally gotten what he’d deserved. He put an arm around Sledge’s shoulders and headed towards the door.

“Ash is this way,” Sledge said, steering him in the opposite direction.

They walked the length of the corridor, turning a few corners and pushing through a couple of doors, then came to a sudden stop when Sledge pulled Dante into another hug. Dante stood still, allowing Sledge to get himself together. After a minute, Sledge released him, then without a word, they entered Ash’s ward.

Four beds lined each wall; some surrounded by green curtains. In the far corner, Juliet was seated next to Ash’s bed, while across the room Beth stood awkwardly by the window. A brief smile flittered across her face when she spotted him, before a mask of sadness fell into place. Surprised to see her, Dante followed Sledge, doing his best to keep his eyes directed elsewhere. He could feel her gaze on him as well as Ash’s, making him intensely uncomfortable. Dante glanced at Ash as he neared the bed, then quickly dropped his gaze, his brother’s scowl making him feel ashamed.

“How’re ya feeling?” Dante mumbled.

“Been better,” Ash said. “Heard ’bout that sick bastard escaping. He better not come near us, or he won’t be ending up in hospital again, unless it’s for an autopsy.”

“True... Um...” Although Ash was talking to him civilly, he knew he was in for a yelling, he just hoped it didn’t come with a ‘Fuck off, I don’t ever wanna see you again’ speech. “I’m sor—”

“Don’t say it!”

Dante look up at Ash’s glare.

“You know sorries don’t cut it with me.” Ash’s gaze shifted to Beth. “But for some goddamned reason Beth doesn’t. Though, I let her stay here for one reason,” he said, returning his glare to Dante. “Do you wanna know why?”

Dante wished he could shake his head or say no, because he most definitely didn’t want to know why. Instead, he wanted to get the hell out of there before Ash opened his mouth again, but he remained stuck to the same spot.

Ash sniffed. “The only reason I allowed her to stay is cos I wanted everyone to learn what type of people you two are.”

Dante could see Juliet’s confused expression. “Leave, Beth,” he said, knowing Ash was building himself up, the soft way his brother was speaking unsettling.

“No, I wanna stay with Ash,” Beth said.

“Why?!” Ash yelled, seemingly oblivious to the other patients watching. “Cos I can’t stand being near you. You used me, used my brother. I have enough shit in my life; I don’t need you adding to it.”

“Ash!” Juliet shouted. “Don’t talk to Beth like that.”

“I can damn well do as I please, cos she does, not giving a shit ’bout the people she fucks over—or fucks.”

Bursting into tears, Beth took off out of the room.

“What’s wrong with you?” Juliet growled. “She’s your girlfriend, for goodness sakes.”

“Not anymore.” Ash’s gaze shifted to Dante. “Dante’s here now, he can tell you why.”

Shame flooded Dante, leaving him speechless.

“Tell them what you did,” Ash said, his voice calm again.

Dante stuffed his hands into his jacket, willing himself not to walk out—or to follow Beth, because that’s what he wanted to do. But he couldn’t do that, because he knew what it would look like to Ash. But he also didn’t want to answer Ash’s question either. He’d been confrontational as a kid, never backing down, because in his opinion he was always right. However, as he grew older, people wore him down. His teachers, the females he went with, even his father made him feel worthless—although his old man never intended to, but it all had the same effect, whittling down his confidence. Oh, he still gave off the air that he was right, but it was only to save face. But he couldn’t do that now, not after what he’d done.

Ash shook his head, his expression disgusted. “Is it so hard for you to admit that you fucked Beth?”

“What?” both Sledge and Juliet gasped.

Dante’s feet finally kicked into motion. He turned and headed for the door, feeling like the biggest scumbag in existence.

“Go on then!” Ash yelled. “Go to her, cos she obviously means more to you than your own brother!”

Dante stopped in the doorway. “You mean more to me.”

“Your actions don’t show it.”

“I lose control, like you lose control.”

“Don’t put this on me.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just don’t think sometimes, I just react. I know it’s not an excuse—”

“Damn right it ain’t. Now, piss off to your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Sorry, I forgot, you’ve fucked her, so you won’t want her anymore. Love doesn’t last very long for you, does it, Dante?”

Dante squeezed his eyes shut, the movement hurting them even more. “Don’t do this, Ash.”

“You even talk like Beth. And I didn’t do anything, you did. Just get outta here; I’m sick of listening to your bloody excuses.”

Dante left, barely registering Tiana as she ran down the corridor towards him. He needed booze, needed to get so wasted that he couldn’t remember what he’d done—or its consequences.

13

Corey

Corey dried his body, then pulled on his underwear, jeans, hoodie and beanie, the last making him feel the least naked. He hated losing his hair even more than being sick. It had been the only thing he could express himself through. He’d gone through stages, dyeing it all sorts of colours, even blue, his mother constantly worrying that his hair was going to fall out from all the chemicals. Yeah, chemicals did make it fall out in the end, but instead it was due to what the doctors had pumped into him.

He shuffled over to the bathroom mirror, and sized-up his black eye and sore nose. He prayed that Juliet hadn’t told Sledge about what he’d said, although he didn’t think she would be that stupid. Tama had once called him a fag and Sledge had punched Tama for it, so hopefully she would know what was good for her, and keep her mouth shut.

He went to leave, jolting back as he opened the bathroom door. His brother blocked his path, giving him “the look” that basically said he was in for an earful.

“Yeah, what do ya want?” Corey said, annoyed. He was sick of Naf bugging him about Juliet, and he also didn’t appreciate the fat prick telling him he was nuts for sleeping with the “ugly slag.” Juliet wasn’t ugly, and it wasn’t like Naf could talk, because Aroha made Juliet look like a runway model. Okay, the old bird wasn’t ugly either, but she was a smelly slag who got a giant slurpy over teenage guys, and if looks could kill, hers shot STDs.

Naf crossed his arms over his chest. “Why didn’t cha tell me you’re a fag?”

Corey’s face dropped. “Does Sledge know?”

“No, Juliet only told Aroha.”

Corey breathed out, the relief more than he could take.

Naf’s expression darkened. “Well? Why didn’t cha tell me?”

“As if I could. You’re just as bad as the rest, always slagging off gays. And Tama ... shit, that homophobe would’ve beaten me up if he’d known.”

“You don’t know that for sure, and you played along when we slagged fags off.”

“Stop using that word; and I only played along cos it would’ve looked suspicious if I didn’t. And there’s no way Tama would’ve lemme stay in the gang if he knew. He wuz always on my case, calling me names even when he didn’t know.”

“But, what about that hot chick you diddled from school?”

“I lied. Juliet’s my first.”

“You’re a sick puppy for doin’ her. And you have a thing for Sledge? Sledge! Do you have a death wish or sumpthin’? You’re not only gay, you’re fuckin’ nuts.”

“I’m not a sick puppy!”

“Well, there’s definitely sumpthin’ wrong with you if ya think you could get Sledge. He’s as big a homophobe as Tama.”

Corey ran a hand over his beanie, fear now replacing anger. “It’s not my fault, I ... I can’t help how I feel ’bout him.”

“Do you purposely want your heart and face stomped on?”

“I won’t as long as he doesn’t find out. And it’s not like I hafta go without, cos we watch pornos together and I’ve had a threesome with him and a chick once. Fuck, it wuz awesome.” Corey smiled at the memory. “He fucked her, while I got a blowjob. You should’ve seen him, he looked so sexy. I could suggest that again, he doesn’t hafta know why. Yeah, that’s a great idea, cos he closes his eyes when he fucks, which means he won’t see me lookin’. He gets off, I get off, it’s a win, win situation.” Corey stopped talking, finally noticing his brother’s dumbstruck expression.

Naf started waving his hands about as though he had a spider on them. “That’s so sick!”

“Is not!” Corey shoved Naf.

“Don’t push me! And you can’t do that to Sledge.”

“Why not? I won’t be touching him, so he won’t know.”

“He will if I tell him, you li’l pervert.”

“I’m not a pervert! And he’ll punch your big fat gob if you open it.”

“Even after I tell him why Juliet hit you? Why you called out his name?”

“He won’t believe you!”

“He eventually will, even if it’s not the first time. You can’t keep this hidden from him if you do crazy shit like that.”

“He didn’t find out before.”

“You’re fuckin’ deluding yourself if ya think you’ll get away with it over and over again. You’ve already let things slip with Juliet, just imagine if you yell his name out while you two are in the middle of a threesome. Can’t hide that so easily, can ya, Einstein?”

“But I want him.” Corey breathed out in frustration. “And, I love him.”

“You what?!”

“I love him.”

“No, Corey, not Sledge. You’re gonna get hurt. Go to one of those gay bars or sumpthin’ and find some other guy.” Naf stuck out his tongue and shook his hands like he’d tasted something disgusting. “Man, I can’t believe I just said that, it’s so bloody gross.”

“You fucker.” Corey shouldered his way past Naf. He didn’t even know any gay clubs, and if he did, it didn’t mean he wanted people knowing about his sexual preferences. It was no one’s business but his. And why the hell would he want some other guy for? Although he’d been attracted to quite a few, Sledge was the only one he’d fallen for.

Corey walked into his room and grabbed his wallet. He had to get out of this place, to have a break from all the agro. He swore as he looked at his dressing table. Shit, where’d he put his keys?

Naf leaned against the doorway with Corey’s keys dangling from his fingers. “I knew you’d try to take off, pro’bly to some party, knowing you. The doc said you’re s’posed to stay home, cos of those bugs that can make you worse.”

“I don’t care.”

“Well, I do. Plus, you’ve taken a beating.”

“She didn’t hit me that hard.”

“That’s not what your face is telling me.”

“Stuff you.” Corey pushed past Naf and headed for his brother’s bedroom.

Naf followed. “Get outta my room.”

“It stinks in here,” Corey said, wrinkling his nose. Dirty clothes were piled high in one corner, while ashtrays were on either side of a mattress, which had been plonked down on the carpet without a base. Maybe Naf was suited to Aroha after all. Gagging to get out of there, Corey picked up his brother’s car keys from the cabinet and went to leave.

Naf blocked the door. “Give ’em back.”

“Lemme through before I pass out from B.O.”

“Gimme my keys first.”

“I just needa get some fresh air. That’s s’posed to be healthy, ain’t it?”

“You can do that without a car.”

“But, I wanna visit Mum,” Corey lied.

“Bullshit, I know you. You’ll be after drugs.”

“No, I won’t.” He went to move past.

Naf mirrored him.

“Move outta my way or I’ll bust ya!”

“No, Corey. Calm down, man. Just get some sleep. I’m not gonna tell Sledge, and I’ll make sure Juliet doesn’t talk either. Everything will be fine.”

“No it won’t, I still can’t have him completely.”

Naf exhaled. “Well, you already knew that. But at least you two can still be mates.”

“I just wanna go out, and blow off some steam.” Corey sneered. “Or maybe I can go to one of those gay bars you mentioned.”

“Okay, I’m sorry for saying that, but c’mon, sleep it off, things will be better tomorrow.”

“Nope, I wanna go out, and if you’re so worried ’bout me why don’t you tag along.”

“But Aroha’s home.”

“Tell her to take a nana nap, she’s the right age.”

“Don’t be a bastard.”

“Nah, Mum and Dad were married when they had me, but I can’t say the same for you.” Their mother had met their father at a widows and widowers support group, Beth’s dad having died from meningitis. Corey didn’t know what had happened to his father’s first wife, because his old man refused to talk about her.

“You’re being a right cunt today.” Naf smirked. “But I guess there’s a reason for that now.”

“I’m not a girl!”

“No, but you’re acting like a li’l kid. So, if you wanna go out, both me and Aroha are coming whether you like it or not, cos obviously you need a babysitter.”

Corey glared at him. “I’m fuckin’ seventeen, I can do what I like, and the only way that Aroha can come is if she washes and has a rabies shot.”

Naf closed his eyes, his jawline clenching, the furious expression on his fat face almost comical. If Corey wasn’t in such a shitty mood he probably would have laughed.

Naf reopened his eyes. “It’s my car, so if you say one word to her I won’t take ya.”

“Then gimme my keys back.”

“No, if you’re goin’ out, I’m driving, which means you shut up about Aroha.”

“Then the smelly bird can ride up front with you,” Corey said, holding out Naf’s keys.

Naf snatched them off him and stomped down the passage. Corey followed him into the lounge. Aroha was lying on the couch, watching a chick flick with a beer in one hand. Corey grabbed his jacket off the rack and went outside to Naf’s green Escort. Shouting started inside. A few minutes later his brother came out alone.

“She wants to wait around for that bitch.” Naf unlocked the car and yanked open the driver’s side. “Where we goin’ anyway? I don’t know of any parties tonight.”

“I wuz invited to one last week.” Corey smiled. “It’s where all us gay guys go for a shag. You never know, you might get lucky too.”

Naf’s face dropped. “No way, I ain’t goin’.”

“I’m just pullin’ ya tit, you homophobe,” Corey said, sneering. “It’s at some chick’s place who hit on me last week.” He grabbed his wallet and pulled out a slip of paper. “Kirstin Jones.”

“Does she go to Wera High?”

Corey nodded.

“I know her, she’s hot. And she hit on you?”

“Yeah, but I’m not into emo chicks...” Corey smiled. “Or any chick.”

“Ha, ha, funny, girl-boy.”

Corey flicked Naf the finger then jumped into the car, hoping Kirstin’s cousin was going to be there. He remembered the way the bloke had hit on him a few months back. It was kind of cool that Tyler had liked him even when he’d been fat. Yeah, the guy was nice, and it would be even cooler to talk with Tyler openly without having to worry about being treated like a freak. His family couldn’t give him that, and there was no way Sledge could either—no matter how much he wanted him to.

***

Naf got out of the car. “You sure this is the right place, bro?” he said, looking over the hood at Corey.

Corey closed the passenger door and glanced at the slip of paper. “Yeah, it’s the correct address.” He lifted his head and took in Kirstin’s road. Until today, he’d thought Pleasant Parade was the worst street in South Auckland, but man, he was wrong, way wrong, because Kirstin’s road was dive central, along with her property. There was an old wreck out front, the grass was overgrown, the graffitied fence was falling apart, and the exterior was flaking paint.

Naf shook his head. “Well, I wouldn’t have picked a hot babe like Kirstin to live in this dump, but guess we can’t choose our family.”

Corey glared at his brother. “Is that a rib at me?”

“Talk about sensitive, but then again, you were always overly emotional.” He sniggered. “And now I know why, girl-boy.”

“Stop calling me that!” Corey flicked Naf the finger, then stomped towards the front door. He thumped on it, wishing it was Naf’s face.

Seconds later it pulled open. “You came,” Kirstin Jones squealed, sounding like an overexcited kid, although she looked anything but. The sixteen-year-old was dressed in a short black skirt and a matching sleeveless top, the latter covered in safety pins. Her ears had multiple piercings and her makeup was black lipstick, eyeliner and some powder to lighten her complexion. She was an emo boy’s wet dream.

Her smile dropped. “What happened to your face?”

“Said the wrong name while having sex.” Corey grinned. Shit, he had cancer, so he might as well make light of the situation—or slit his wrists, and he was too squeamish for that.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, she smacked me about, but I don’t hit chicks back.”

“Oh, you poor sweetheart.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek, then gently wiped it. “Sorry, got my lippy on you.”

Naf mumbled behind him. “Poor sweetheart, my fat arse.”

Corey stepped to the side. “This is my brother. Can he come in too?”

Kirstin gave Naf a once over, her little nose screwing up like she’d smelled something rotten. Corey bit his lip to stop from laughing. Naf always inspired chicks to drop their knickers. Not!

“Yeah, of course,” she said, her smile returning as she refocused on Corey. “Come in, cutie-pie.”

“Come in, cutie-pie,” Naf mimicked behind him.

Ignoring his brother, Corey entered the lounge, AGAIN unimpressed. What a bloody slack party. No wonder it had been far too quiet. He’d thought Kirstin was supposed to be cool; her group of friends anything but sweetsie, but all he could see was a bunch of guys playing video games, while a short, podgy girl glared at the back of their heads. No music, no drugs, no alcohol, just a smelly room crammed full of boxes. Man, he’d stepped into grunge-ville. He hoped there were no parents hanging around, because if there were, he was so out of here.

Corey’s gaze wandered over the guys on the couch. One had dreadlocks just below his shoulders, the boy next to him had more tyres around his waist than the Michelin Man, and the third one had his hair dyed black like Kirstin’s, his blond roots also noticeable. Corey’s attention shifted back to the dreadlocked boy, thinking he was smoking hot ... and vaguely familiar. Where had he seen him before?

“What’s there to drink?” Naf asked, snapping Corey’s fixation away from the boy.

Kirstin pointed to the divider between the lounge and kitchen. “We’ve got Coke, Sprite...”

Naf screwed up his face as though she’d offered him sewage. “Unless it’s Coke as in cocaine, I don’t want it. Now, where’s the booze?”

“Nah, sorry, can’t give ya any of my dad’s beer, he’d kill me.”

The dreadlocked guy looked up from the game. “Which is why I brought my own supply.” He chucked Naf a can, hitting him in the chest. Naf swore and scooped it up off the floor.

Corey sniggered. His brother was such a klutz, hence his nickname, non-athletic fuckwit: Naf for short. Only the olds called him Samuel.

“Sorry, dude,” the dreadlocked guy said to Naf. His gaze shifted to Corey. “You want one?”

“Yup,” Corey answered before Naf could veto it. He didn’t give a shit that he wasn’t supposed to be drinking. He wanted to enjoy himself tonight, and was willing to put up with the consequences.

The guy chucked him a beer. Corey fumbled it slightly, but managed not to drop it. He wasn’t exactly Mr. Co-ordinated either, but at least he wasn’t a total klutz like his bro.

The fat boy jumped up from the couch, and threw the remote down on the floor. “Fuck you, Josh!”

Emo boy laughed. “Sore loser.” He picked up the remote and held it out for Corey. “You wanna play?”

Corey went to take it, but got pulled back by Kirstin. “Nah, let your brother play, I wanna introduce you to my BF, Farrah,” she said.

“Yeah, Corey loves being with girls, since he’s a...”  Naf made a slurping sound as he walked past, the same way Tama did when referring to pussy. Corey glared at the back of Naf’s head, wanting to punch him.

“Cool,” Kirstin said, yanking him over to her friend.

Kirstin’s BF smiled at him. Man, she was short, barely five-foot. In heels! “What happened to your face?” Farrah asked.

“He called out someone else’s name while having sex,” Kirstin said.

Farrah laughed. “You got beaten up by a girl?”

Corey could hear the boys sniggering on the couch. “I don’t hit chicks,” he replied, feeling like a loser.

Kirstin tugged on his arm. “You wanna go to my room and talk? These guys are boring.”

“Yeah, we can smoke some weed,” Farrah whispered.

“No, we can’t.” Kirstin’s eyes darted to the boys. “My dad will kill me if he smells it. He only lemme have this party cos he was going to my mum’s.”

“Your dad won’t know,” Farrah said. “And whenever he visits your mum he doesn’t return until well after lunch the next day. The smell would’ve gone by then.”

“But, what about my uncle? I can’t remember whether he’s back today or tomorrow.”

“If you don’t let us, we’ll take off.” Farrah smiled at Corey. “You wanna come with me?”

“If you’re giving me freebies, hell yeah.”

Kirstin muttered, “Bitch,” under her breath. “Okay. We’ll do it in my room, but if we get caught you hafta take the fall.” She looked back at the boys on the couch as they yelled at each other over the game. “And they aren’t allowed in, cos Tag and Josh always cause trouble when they get high.”

“I like it when Tag gets high.” Farrah grinned. “He strips.”

Corey glanced back at the dreadlocked guy, wondering whether it was him. “Is he a graffiti artist?”

“Yup, that’s him,” Farrah said. “His real name’s Kane Talich, but he insists on being called Tag.”

“Man, he gets his name on some dangerous places,” Corey said, in admiration. “He’s got balls.”

“More like rocks in his head,” Kirstin muttered, then shouted. “He’s a bloody moron!”

The guys turned around. “Yeah, I’m talking ’bout you, Kane.”

“It’s Tag, you bitch. And you’re just sore at me cos you can’t get any of this.” He waggled his tongue at her.

Corey grinned, thinking Tag’s pierced tongue looked hot.

“No female wants any of that, you moron. Only gaybos,” Kirstin retorted.

“You bitch.” Tag went to climb over the couch, but got pulled back by emo boy and his fat mate. “Lemme go, she’s just askin’ for a smack.”

Laughing, Kirstin poked her tongue out at him. “Well, you ain’t gettin’ any of this either, no matter how much you ask.”

“You just called me a fag, now you think I want some of your emo arse. Dream on, skank, I’ve got chicks lining up for me.”

“Yeah, I’ll give ya some, Tag,” Farrah said.

“Like hell. I meant good-lookin’ chicks, not fat umpa lumpas.”

The other guys started laughing. Farrah flicked them the finger, then stomped off down the passage.

“You guys are horrible!” Kirstin shouted. She followed her mate, then came back and grabbed Corey.

Corey glanced over his shoulder at Tag, wishing the guy was gay. He wasn’t usually attracted to pretty-boys, but Tag’s reputation, dreads, and the tongue stud did it for him. He grimaced, but not as much as Sledge did. Man ... why couldn’t he stop thinking about his mate? It was driving him nuts.

He got pulled into the end room. It was full of posters of actors dressed as vampires and some skinny emo dudes with guitars. Kirstin closed the door, then directed him to sit next to her and Farrah. Farrah was crying and wiping her nose on her jacket sleeve.

Kirstin ran a hand down the girl’s long, curly brown hair. “Ignore those creeps. You know what they’re like. They insult me too.”

“Not the same way. They’re always making fun of my weight, even Mick who’s way bigger than me. They never tease him.”

“Pro’bly cos that fat fuck would squash them,” Corey added. “And you look hot in my opinion; a li’l bit of jelly is healthy.”

A smile lit up Farrah’s face. “Really? You reckon I look hot?”

“Yeah,” Corey lied, knowing how much the truth hurt when he was fat. Maybe he should’ve said nice, but at least she was happy now.

Farrah pulled out some joints, passed him one, then lit it up.

Corey scooted up the mattress, and leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and took a long drag on the joint, ignoring the girls’ whispering. All he wanted to do was to get high and forget about his troubles. He grimaced, not looking forward to starting radiotherapy. He was sick of being a human pincushion, plus needles scared him, which was why he would never get a tattoo. Although he liked looking at them, he didn’t know how people could stand the pain. Though, he definitely liked the idea of Sledge getting one. He felt his balls tingle as he imagined Sledge with a tribal tat covering his arms and pecs. Hmmm... Definitely something he’d love to see, touch and kiss.

Farrah started giggling. Corey opened his eyes to see what was so funny. The girls were staring at his... Shit! Corey covered his cock, willing it to go down. He hoped he wasn’t blushing, because his face turned bright red, along with his neck, when he was embarrassed, something he got teased a lot for, along with his pale complexion. He wished he’d gotten his mother’s darker genes like Beth had, not his damn father’s.

He closed his eyes and took another drag on the joint, wishing he knew how to handle chicks better. Juliet was the only one he’d ever been friends with, because females in general made him feel awkward. He didn’t know what to say to them, and he didn’t like girly stuff either, especially fashion. All that crap about gay guys having a great fashion sense didn’t extend to him, because hoodies and jeans were his dress-code, and the only thing he’d ever liked about fashion was styling his hair, but now that was all chemoed off he had nada left. Maybe he wasn’t a typical gay, but then again, how would he know what typical was, because he didn’t know any gay guys, well, apart from Kirstin’s cousin, who he’d only met once. If anything, he didn’t know why he was even here, because Tyler probably wouldn’t remember him.

Corey blew out smoke, wondering whether Tyler was going to show. Something soft brushed his lips, making him open his eyes. They widened as Kirstin latched onto his mouth, full out kissing him.

He jerked his head to the side, then scrambled off the bed. “What the fuck?!”

She jumped up after him. “I thought you wanted it?”

“Why?” Corey’s gaze shifted to Farrah. The girl was sniggering behind her hand. Some BF, he thought.

“I thought you were interested in me?” Kirstin said. “And you had a hard-on.”

He couldn’t stop the blush now. He was sure it had even reached his cock, burning it into non-existence. “I wuzn’t thinking ’bout you, you’re too young for me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“I ain’t comfortable with this,” he said, glancing back at her friend. He didn’t want to do anything with Kirstin—and especially not with her mate watching. Freaky chicks.

Kirstin’s gaze followed his. “Get out, Farrah.”

Farrah pulled a face. “Can’t we just sit here and smoke. He’s not interested in you.”

“No, he just doesn’t want you perving while we make out.”

Ready to bolt, Corey opened the door. He stopped in his tracks as a huge skinhead glared down at him. He was dressed in camo pants, and a black bomber jacket.

“What’re you doin’ in my niece’s room?!”

Corey felt his dick shrink into the size of a clitoris. He held up the joint with a shaky hand. “Smoking.”

The guy grabbed the front of Corey’s sweatshirt. “Did you fuck my niece?”

Corey shook his head.

“Uncle Deano, let him go!” Kirstin yelled behind Corey. “He’s Farrah’s boyfriend.”

The skinhead’s attention shifted to Farrah. “Is this true?”

Corey’s eyes dropped to the guy’s tattooed knuckles. A thunderbolt cut in between the letters AC and DC. He didn’t know what Farrah was doing right now, but he was praying that she was nodding until her head fell off. Huge relief washed over him when he heard a “Yes.”

The man swiped the joint out of Corey’s hand then gave him a hard shove down the passage. “Get outta here before I change my mind and add some more colours to your face.”

Corey took off into the lounge. Except for Naf, who was still concentrating on the PlayStation game, the others had wide grins on their faces. Flicking them the finger, Corey slumped in the seat adjacent to the couch.

They turned back to their game. Tag let out a loud whoop a few seconds later when his PlayStation character shot down Naf’s. Corey swore the guy looked familiar. He grinned when he clicked why. Tag’s features were similar to Ash and Dante’s, plus he was pretty sure the Rata’s grandfather had the name Talich.

“Are you related to the Ratas?” Corey asked Tag.

Tag’s face dropped. He put a finger to his mouth as boots stomped down the passage.

The skinhead appeared in the doorway. “Who said the name Rata?!”

“No one, Mr. Jones. What’s his face...” Tag indicated towards Corey, “...called me a farter.”

The other guys started sniggering. The skinhead’s gaze zeroed in on Corey. Corey sank into the chair wishing it was quicksand. Man, the guy was a scary bastard, fugly as too; his busted-up nose and chipped teeth perfect for a mug shot.

“You’re a li’l smart-mouthed twat, aren’t cha?” the skinhead said, glaring at Corey.

“No, sir, he just made a loud fart.”

The guys sniggered again. Kirstin’s uncle extended a finger at Corey. “Keep your pie-hole shut, boy. I don’t wanna hear shit from you again, not even a squeak outta your arse or I’ll jam your head up it. Understand?”

Corey nodded vigorously.

The man’s attention shifted back to Tag. “Have ya seen my wife? The bitch didn’t pick me up from the airport.”

Tag shook his head.

“What about Len?”

“Haven’t seen him either.”

The skinhead let out a loud grunt. “I want the stuff Ash Rata was s’posed to drop off.”

“I know him,” Naf said, totally oblivious to the situation as he continued to play the game. He let out a loud yelp. “Why the hell didja kick me?” he said, glaring at the fat boy next to him.

“How’d ja know Ash Rata?” the skinhead asked, heading for Naf.

Rubbing his leg, Naf glanced up, then dropped the PS3 controller. “Ahhh... I-I j-just heard ’bout him. He’s a drug dealer,” he said, looking like he was going to piss himself.

The skinhead sneered. “Yeah, and an arsehole too, but not as much as his brother. Fuck, I hate Dante. I’d love to kill that greasy Eyetie prick.” He waved a hand in the air. “Anyway, you kids play whatever, I’m off to bed, got bloody jetlag.” He turned and disappeared down the passage.

Tag got up and closed the passage door, then sat down on the armrest next to Naf. “The Ratas are mine and Mick’s cousins,” he said, pointing at the fat boy. “But don’t ever let Kirstin’s uncle or dad know or they’ll pro’bly give us a kicking, and won’t let us back in.”

Both Corey and Naf nodded.

Tag smiled. “Ta. Though, I don’t know why he thinks the Ratas are Italian, but I’m glad he does. He knows me and Mick have Croatian blood, so he doesn’t realise we’re related. But the racist prick still slags us off, making Serbian concentration camp jokes. And Kirstin’s dad ain’t much better. It wouldn’t surprise me if they have Nazi crap pasted all over their rooms. If it wuzn’t for Kirstin I wouldn’t even come here, and right now even she ain’t worth it. So, let’s get outta here, cos this party blows chunks. Any of you guys got a ride? I wanna do some art.”

“Art?” Corey asked.

“Tagging.”

“I’m staying here,” emo boy said. “If my stepdad catches me tagging again, he’ll lose his rag.”

Tag laughed. “Yeah, his stepdad’s a smurf.”

“A smurf?” Corey asked.

Emo boy stopped playing, and glared at Tag. “He calls my stepdad that cos he’s a cop, and wears blue.”

Corey grimaced. He couldn’t stand pigs ever since they arrested him a few months back. And it wasn’t even his fault; it was bloody Tama’s for chasing that girl. Corey hadn’t been interested in what Tama had wanted; he was just following Sledge.

“We can take my car,” Naf piped up.

“Sweet, then let’s blow this stink-arse place.” Tag headed for the door, then jolted back as it opened.

Kirstin’s cousin stepped inside. Tyler glanced around the lounge, his gaze settling on Corey. Corey didn’t know how the skinhead could be Tyler’s father, because Tyler was a Greek god in comparison, no, in bloody reality, because the dude’s face and body was chiselled to perfection. Hmm... Corey’s gaze ran down Tyler’s body, then moved back to his face again, which now appeared amused. Corey felt the burn of embarrassment punch him in the cheeks then grab him by the throat. He glanced around the room, hoping no one else had noticed his cock-up. To his relief, only Tyler was looking at him, the guy’s smile widening. Corey sat down and placed a pillow over his lap.

“Who wants a beer?” Tyler held up a six-pack, although Corey was pretty sure he had a different type under his shirt. Dressed in nicely cut pants, with a matching navy jacket over an open-necked white shirt, Tyler looked like he’d come straight from some flash party—or a fashion shoot. Corey glanced down at his grungy threads, wishing he’d made more of an effort.

“Don’t want nuthin’ from you, Tyler.” Tag went for the door. “We’re outta here.”

“I’d rather stay and have some beer,” Corey replied.

Tag stopped in the doorway. “I wouldn’t take nuthin’ from Tyler. He’s a—”

Tyler turned on Tag. “If he wants to stay, he can, so shut your trap or I’ll get my dad to shut it for you.”

Tag looked over at Corey and mouthed something unreadable. Tyler shoved Tag outside.

“You alright to get home, Corey?” Naf asked.

“I can give him a lift,” Tyler piped up. He looked over at Corey, his expression hopeful.

“Okay,” Corey replied.

Naf smirked. “Well, ya better buy some mouthwash then.” He pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, making a rude gesture with his hand.

Corey flicked Naf the finger as his brother disappeared through the doorway with the others.

Tyler sat down on the armrest next to Corey. “You wanna head out too? I’ve got wheels.”

“But, you’ve just got here?”

“You really wanna stay?”

Corey shrugged. “It’s your place.”

“God, no. I wouldn’t choose to live here. I moved out ages ago. So, you wanna go?”

Corey glanced at emo boy, who was still playing the game. The guy hadn’t lifted his gaze from the TV screen to even say bye to his mates. “Okay,” Corey said, getting up.

They headed outside, watching as Naf’s dump of a car spluttered to life. Tag stuck his head out the window and hollered obscene words at Tyler as they drove off. Tyler ignored Tag and clicked off his car alarm. Corey’s impressed gaze took in the grey Alfa Romeo. He wondered how a nineteen-year-old could afford such a sweet ride.

They got in, Corey taking the beer.

Tyler started the engine and pulled out. “You’ve lost loads of weight since I last saw you. You look really hot now, not that you didn’t before, but you were more adorable back then. Now you’re plain...” He smiled, “gorgeous.”

Corey felt his face flush. He needed to dunk his stupid head in ice water tonight, because everything was setting it off. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “You look different too, I remember you having long brown hair.”

“I had to cut it for work, and anyway, I’m naturally blond. I used to dye it brown, cos I thought blond hair made me look gay.”

Corey smiled. “But, you are gay.”

Tyler shrugged. “I went through a stage where I didn’t wanna advertise it. My dad isn’t exactly the liberal type. But in the end I decided to tell him the truth. He yelled at me and said I was lying to piss him off, then shut himself in his room for days. He still refuses to acknowledge I’m gay.”

“My old man hates me being gay too and insists I keep it a secret, but my mum’s cool about it. What about your mum?”

“I don’t know where she is, she took off when I was a baby, and my stepmum doesn’t care.” Tyler stopped at a give-way sign and reached for Corey’s beanie. “You can take this off now, it’s warm in here.”

Corey grabbed it. “No, it stays on.”

“Why?”

“I had an accident dyeing my hair, so I shaved it all off.” He hated people knowing about his cancer, because they always treated him differently.

“Oh, sorry, but I bet you’re still hot even without hair.”

Corey grimaced. He couldn’t wait to get his hair back next year, well, he would as long as he didn’t cark it.

“What happened to your face?” Tyler asked as he turned a corner.

Corey reiterated the story.

Tyler laughed. “Sorry. Well, at least you didn’t do it to a bloke, they punch harder.” He glanced over at Corey. “But I wouldn’t hit you if you did it to me.”

Corey dropped his gaze, wondering whether Tyler thought he’d gone with him for sex. Yeah, Tyler gave him a boner, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to do anything about it. He’d never fucked a guy before, and he didn’t want to make an idiot of himself, and what if Tyler wanted to do something he didn’t, like rimming. He didn’t mind watching it on the internet, but actually doing it to someone... ooh yuck... no fucking way! Corey’s face dropped. Oh God, he was smaller than Tyler, which meant he was the twink. He didn’t know if he wanted to get fucked. He’d stuck a carrot up there once and even with plastic wrap it had stung like buggery. Oh... it was buggery. Guess he knew where the saying came from now.

Tyler stopped at an intersection. “Are you alright?”

Corey glanced up. Tyler was staring at him with a concerned expression, which made him want to pull the beanie over his face. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You look scared.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Tyler patted his leg. “Don’t worry, Corey, I’m not gonna throw myself at you, I’m just happy you’re here. Though, don’t take this the wrong way, but I thought maybe we could go to my place, but if you’re not comfortable with that I can take ya home.”

“No, it’s cool, we can go there,” Corey said, realising he needed to get out of the rut he was in. “I came to see you anyway.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then that makes two of us. I only came to the party cos Kirstin said she’d invited you. My cousin’s got a crush on you. Sorry, I didn’t think it was appropriate to out you to her, plus she might have uninvited you. Anyway, that girl doesn’t know what she wants, cos I’m sure she has a thing for both Tag and Josh as well. If I was her, I’d opt for Josh even if Tag’s hotter, at least the other kid doesn’t have a horrible mouth on him. And Tag’s a trouble maker, not worth his pretty face or butt. Ah... I didn’t meana say that, not like I look at it, nasty’s not my taste.”

Corey smiled, feeling a little bit better after Tyler’s long ramble. The guy was obviously as nervous as he was.

Tyler smiled back. “You have one angelic smile. I know it’s a cliché, but it looks like butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth. You are so cute.”

“I’m not cute.”

“Yes, you are, my friends would give their right arm to be with you, and one other body part.”

Corey pulled a face. “You’re just smooth talking me, cos you wanna get into my pants.”

Tyler snorted, then started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Corey said, not happy he was being laughed at.

“It’s cliché heaven tonight. But you’re only half right. Yeah, I want in, but I’m still telling you the truth: you really are cute. But, don’t think I’m only after you cos of that, you’re nice, and you aren’t pretentious like the guys I’m used to. It’s refreshing not having someone more interested in what I’m wearing than what’s under it.” Tyler smiled. “I saw the way you were looking at me earlier.” His smile widened. “And I love the way you blush so easily. It’s adorable.”

Corey covered his checks. “I can’t help it, and it’s not adorable, it’s horrible.”

“Believe me, it’s adorable.”

Corey turned to look out the window, feeling uncomfortable again.

“You want the radio on?” Tyler asked.

Corey nodded without looking at him. A rap song that Sledge liked came on. Corey wondered where Sledge was right now. Probably with his bastard brother. He didn’t know why Sledge didn’t completely cut ties with Ash. Okay, Ash looked after Sledge for a while, but hell, he’d also beaten him up twice, the last time so bad that Sledge had to be hospitalised. It wasn’t Sledge’s fault that Tama stabbed Ash’s mate. Bloody Tama, he hated the cunt after all the shit he’d caused.

Tyler sped up as he entered the motorway, making Corey feel queasy. He placed a hand on his stomach. He also felt tired. Maybe he should’ve asked to be taken home. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the window, quickly drifting off to sleep.

Tyler tapped his leg. “We’re here, sleepy-head.”

Yawning, Corey opened his eyes and glanced at the clock-radio, surprised he’d slept for twenty minutes. He lowered his head and looked out the car window, his eyes widening at the site of Tyler’s pad. Street lamps lit up the Mediterranean-styled terraced house, which had a view of the sea, the Auckland Harbour Bridge’s lights colouring the dark waters in different shades of yellow. Shit, it looked like he was in Herne Bay, the most expensive suburb in Auckland. How the hell did Tyler afford to live here?

Corey climbed out of the car. “You’ve got one awesome place,” he said, as Tyler walked around the bonnet.

“Thanks. Um... Can I just do one thing before we go inside?”

Corey ripped his gaze away from the view and turned around, getting a much better one in return. Normally, he didn’t like people getting into his personal space, but right now what he was looking at was definitely worth it. Man, Tyler was a honey. “What didja say?” Corey asked, forgetting the question.

“Whether I can do this.” Tyler grabbed Corey’s face and kissed his lips, the contact taking Corey by surprise. After a few skipped heartbeats, Tyler pulled back, leaving Corey stunned and wanting more.

Tyler smiled. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve been dying to do that ever since I first saw you, cos you have the hottest lips.” He clicked on the car alarm, then headed for the front door, leaving Corey with his mouth hanging open.

Corey touched his lips, shocked at how much it had turned him on.

Tyler glanced back at Corey. “You coming?”

A grin spread across Corey’s face. “Yeah,” maybe I will after all.

14

Beth

Beth curled up on the single bed in her new room. She didn’t want to be living with her cousin, but it was better than moving back in with her parents. The I told you so’s wouldn’t be said out right, but they didn’t have to be, especially since her mother always had a look that spoke volumes.

She started crying, feeling like Ash had ripped her heart in two, keeping one part and giving the other to Dante. But it was all her own fault, she’d betrayed him. Then to hear about what he’d been through as a kid was devastating. No wonder he had looked at her with disgust when she’d asked him to force her to have sex. BUT, she didn’t know! He should’ve told her, then she would’ve been more sensitive towards him.

She wiped her eyes, trying her best to ignore the blaring of the telly coming from the lounge. It sounded like the walls were paper thin. Her phone started ringing by the bed. She grabbed it and looked at the number in surprise. She clicked it on. “I’m so sorry, Dante,” she blurted out before he could say a word.

“Don’t do that!” he yelled.

“What?”

“No, not you, Beth,” he slurred, “Sandra won’t leave me alone.” Female giggling started up, mingling with the techno music in the background.

“Stoppit,” Dante said. “I’m not interested. Jesus, Jesus, oh fuck, no ... oh... Yeah, yeah...” he groaned.

Beth straightened. “What’s happening, Dante?”

“Sandra is rubbing my...” He groaned.

“Dante!”

“Please come get me. My head hurts and I need my meds. I couldn’t find ’em. Jesus, Sandra, stoppit, no, oh, oh...”

“Where are you?” Beth said, jumping up, the thought of someone else touching Dante making her go crazy.

He groaned again, then started breathing heavily. “L-la Rock in the ci-city centre.”

“I’ll be there soon, and tell her to stop touching you.”

“I did, she won’t listen.”

“Then push her away,” punch her!

“Oh God...” Dante started moaning, then the phone went dead.

Beth yanked on her jeans then grabbed her jacket, purse and keys off the cabinet. She ran out of the room, yelling at her cousin that she was popping out. She closed the front door behind her and jumped into her car, the bumper practically kissing the front of the flat.

Since Josie lived in Manukau, Beth was on the Southern Motorway within five minutes, and heading towards the city. For a Saturday night the road was fairly light. Up ahead the mauve-coloured glow of the Sky Tower drew closer, the minutes ticking by and making her more and more anxious. She turned off the motorway and stopped at the intersection, double-checking her iPhone for the address. When the lights turned green, she drove a short distance then took a sharp right into a driveway. She jumped out of the car and pressed the gate buzzer. When no one answered, she pressed it again, getting more and more agitated. She exhaled in relief when the gates finally opened. She wondered what sort of club it was to have gates and parking, because most were just walk in ones with bouncers.

She jumped back into the car and parked in between a flash convertible and a Maserati. Realising it was an upmarket club, she headed for the door of the two-storey building, wondering whether they would let her in wearing jeans and a blouse. But then again, how the hell did Dante get into a place like this with the type of clothes he wore.

She pressed the buzzer, hoping against hope he was waiting for her near the entrance—and that the Sandra woman had stopped touching him.

The door pulled open, revealing a man with a top hat and not much else, his leather underwear and boots his only other attire. “Good Lord, you look just like Sandra,” he said, his accent sounding Dutch. “Are you her sister?”

“No, I don’t know her. My friend called me to pick him up,” Beth said, not sure where to look, embarrassment taking over. “His name’s Dante Rata. Is he here?”

The man nodded. “Yes, he’s very drunk and rather unhappy over all the attention he’s receiving from the ladies, especially Sandra, which is very unusual, considering it’s why he comes here.”

Beth followed him inside, her eyes almost popping at seeing the man’s rear, his “cheeky” attire nothing more than a leather g-string. She focused on his back, horrified that Dante had gone to a sex club.

She walked through a heavy red curtain and into a small room. On her left, a woman in a see-through bra was serving cocktails, while a few feet away a couple of females where dancing provocatively inside a giant birdcage, though, thank God they had their clothes on. One appeared middle-aged, while the other was younger, maybe in her early twenties. Two men were watching on the outside, their ages matching the women. More couples were seated around the room, giving the impression that at least the place wasn’t a brothel.

Beth followed the host up a small staircase and into a darkened area where... Her eyes shot straight ahead, mortified by the scene on her left. Three women and two men were doing things she didn’t want to know about on a large couch. She thought she was kinky, but she wasn’t even in the same hemisphere.

She walked down some stairs and into a thin, darkened room, averting her gaze when she spotted a naked woman leaning over someone lying on a rope swing. Her eyes widened when she realised it was Dante. “Don’t touch him!” she yelled.

The woman whipped around. She looked similar to Beth with her long black hair and slim figure, although the woman’s breasts were far too firm to be real.

The man with the top hat tittered. “I warned you, Sandra. You will have to leave the club now.”

Sandra pouted. “But, he said yes.”

“I heard him say no only a few minutes ago, and look, he’s passed out.”

“But he never turns me down. And why would he come if he didn’t want sex?”

“It doesn’t matter, you know the rules. No touching without consent.”

“Who’s she?” Sandra indicated at Beth angrily.

“His friend,” the man said.

Sandra gave Beth a once over. “You look like me.” She snatched up her clothes and pushed past Beth, heading into the bathroom.

Wanting to scream and yell at Dante, Beth went over and tugged up his pants.

He opened his eyes and smiled at her. “I love my Bethy-babe.”

“If you did you wouldn’t have come here.” She zipped him up, then pulled down his shirt. “C’mon, let’s go,” she said, trying to pull him out of the swing.

He mumbled something in what she assumed was Croatian, then got to his feet, almost making her topple over as he swung an arm around her shoulders.

“That Sandra woman’s horrible, don’t go near her again,” Beth said, helping him up the stairs.

“I don’t want her, I want you, but I can’t get what I want.” He pushed away from her and wobbled past the people writhing on the couch.

Afraid he was going to topple down the next flight of stairs, Beth grabbed him. She helped him one step at a time, wishing she could say he could have her, but she knew he wouldn’t remember anything the next day, plus she wasn’t sure if he meant it, especially with what had happened at the hospital.

Beth nodded her thanks at the host as they neared the exit, then, with more difficulty than normal due to his drunken state, she steered Dante across the small parking lot. She unlocked the car and bundled him inside, then got into the driver’s seat and backed out. After a thirty-minute drive she turned into her driveway, parking outside her cousin’s flat. She hopped out and ran around to Dante’s side of the car, prodding him awake.

He mumbled, “Sleepy.”

“We’re home, well, my new home anyway.”

He opened his eyes, allowing her to help him out. She locked the car then steered him up the front steps and inside.

Beth’s cousin glanced up from the couch, Josie’s bored gaze instantly turning to interest. “That’s Dante Rata,” she squealed, jolting Dante.

“He’s drunk, Josie,” Beth said, wishing her cousin had gone to bed so she could’ve snuck him in. Ever since Josie saw the nude text of Dante, her cousin had pestered her to meet him, something that Beth had managed to avoid up until now.

Josie ran around the wicker couch to Dante. She was shaking like she was meeting a famous celebrity, her excitement palpable. “Hi, Dante.”

He smiled at her sleepily. “You look like Bethy-babe.”

Josie giggled. “He called me babe.”

Beth exhaled loudly. “He needs to sleep.”

“He can have my room,” Josie said.

“Dream on,” Beth snapped. “He’s sleeping in mine.”

Josie’s expression soured. “Goin’ between brothers, that’s low.”

“It’s not like that; Dante always calls me to pick him up when he’s drunk. And there are only two rooms, and I know what you’re like.”

“What? You think I’d molest him or sumpthin’?”

“With the way you’re ogling him, yeah.”

Dante pulled away from Beth, swaying as he headed for the telly. His gaze shifted to the quilt on the wall. “Pretty.” He reached out and touched it.

Josie ran over to him. “It’s a Tivaevae. I made it. My grandmother taught me when I stayed with her in Rarotonga.”

“It’s really good. I like the canoe patterns.” He pulled off his jacket and shirt.

“Dante!” Beth shouted.

He pointed at his right shoulder blade. “I’ve got a canoe tattoo.”

Giggling, Josie touched it.

Beth grabbed Dante’s arm, yanking him away from Josie and almost making him fall over. She steadied him. “You needa go to bed, Dante.”

Josie grabbed Dante’s other arm, and tugged him towards the couch. He fell onto the cushions laughing. Josie sat next to him, settling his legs on her lap. “Let’s talk while Beth gets us sumpthin’ to eat.”

Beth gritted her teeth as Dante nodded. God, she was going to kill her cousin. Beth walked over and pushed Dante’s legs off Josie’s lap, then grabbed her cousin’s arm. “I don’t know where everything is. You’ll hafta help me.”

“It’s all in the fridge and cupboards.”

Beth tugged Josie up and pulled her into the kitchen, shutting the door behind them. “What is wrong with you? He’s drunk, and you had your hands all over him.”

“Did not. And why’re you being such a cow for?  You know I’ve been aching to meet him.”

“He won’t be interested in you.”

“Well, he seemed pretty friendly taking half his clothes off for me, and he called me babe.”

“He’s drunk, and he wuzn’t referring to you, he calls me Bethy-babe.”

Josie pulled a face. “I just wanna talk to him.”

“You were pawing his back.”

“I wuz looking at his canoe tattoo.”

“More like copping a feel.”

“So what? At least I wuzn’t having sex with him—unlike someone did.”

Beth glared at her cousin, now regretting telling Josie about what had happened. “Can’t you get it into your thick head that I don’t want you touching him? He’s off limits.”

Josie made a deriding sound. “That is so low, making a move on him right after being dumped by his brother.”

“Is not.”

Josie crossed her arms over her chest. “And you know what’s even lower?”

“What?”

“You swiping Carly’s phone and sending everyone the text of Dante naked.”

Beth’s eyes almost bulged out. “Keep your voice down.”

“Your bloody jealousy got Carly beaten up by her hubby and what you did to Dante wuz outright mean. He did nuthin’ to you, yet you sent his naked pic to half the neighbourhood.”

“I didn’t know Carly’s husband would beat her up, and I wuzn’t thinking straight, I wuz really angry.”

“I wonder what Dante would say if he knew who sent that picture?”

“No, Josie, please don’t.”

A grin spread across Josie’s face. “Well, I can say one thing, it makes a great screensaver. Guess what I like to click my mouse on?”

“I told you to delete it.”

“No way, I love that picture; Dante looks so fuckable, I could just eat him up.”

“I heard that.”

Beth’s breath hitched. No, no, no...  She turned around slowly, wondering how much Dante had heard.

He was standing in the other entrance to the kitchen, looking at Josie with an annoyed expression. “That picture almost got me shot,” he slurred.

Josie laughed nervously. “C’mon, it wuzn’t me who sent it.” She gave Beth a sly glance. “And, it wuz really hot. You should pose for Playgirl or sumpthin’.” She giggled. “I’d buy the mag for sure.”

Dante’s mouth fell open.

Beth whacked Josie across the arm. God, she couldn’t believe her cousin’s nerve—and rudeness.

“Ow! Don’t hit me.”

“Then get outta here.”

“No, it’s my flat, you leave. Alone.”

Beth pushed Josie towards the door.

Josie shoved Beth back, then headed for Dante. “Good night, hottie.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed Dante’s cheek. Dante remained still, his expression disbelieving. Josie glanced back at Beth. “You can take the couch, Beth,” she said, grinning.

Beth breathed out as Josie disappeared.

Dante shook his head. “Your cousin’s sumpthin’ else.”

“Yeah, sorry ’bout her, Josie’s always been rude.” She grimaced. “How much didja hear?”

“Sumpthin’ ’bout my picture making a great screensaver. I hate that soddin’ picture.”

“I’ll see if I can delete it for you tomorrow,” Beth replied, relieved that he hadn’t heard more.

She headed over and steered him out of the kitchen and into her bedroom. He slumped on the mattress, still complaining about the picture. Beth pulled off his boots and manoeuvred him onto his back, then grabbed a cover and headed for the couch, her nerves still raw from the close call.

“I wanna go home,” he called out.

She went back in. “Not now, go to bloody sleep.”

He closed his eyes, mumbling he was going home. Beth watched him for a while to make sure he didn’t get up, then, when he’d nodded off, she snuck out of the room and closed the door. She leaned against it for a moment, wishing she could snuggle up to him, to make him only want her, to be everything he needed, desired and loved. But she wasn’t sure she would ever be enough for him, because she couldn’t imagine him giving up the things he loved. But, he’d said he wanted her. And she wanted him.

She glanced at Josie’s bedroom. No light, no sound. With her heart pounding like the little drummer boy, she slipped back into her room. She stripped off, leaving only her knickers on, then lowered herself onto the bed, careful not to wake him. When he didn’t stir, she hooked an arm over his waist and snuggled in, thrilled by the touch of her breasts against his skin.

I’m not doing anything wrong, it’s just hugging, and I’ve hugged him before. But not without my clothes on. But I want to know what it feels like to lie next to him instead of Ash. Oh God, don’t think of Ash.

Needing to get Ash out of her head, she buried her face into Dante’s hair, the smell of cigarettes a reminder of the sex club. She pushed aside the image of Sandra molesting him, and focused on the hint of vanilla shampoo. He always swiped her stuff: the mochachino, her shampoo, her shower gel. It used to annoy her, but now it gave her a thrill, because it felt like he belonged to her too—or she belonged to him, because he could use her all he wanted.

She lay there for God only knew how long, listening to his breathing and her own heartbeat, the two merging like they were meant to be together. Her eyelids started to lower, sleep pulling at the corners. She closed them, just wanting to rest for a short time, then she would go sleep on the couch.

15

Dante

Sunday

Dante opened his eyes and moaned, bringing a hand to his aching head. He needed Aspirin, no he needed his damn meds. He sat up and looked down at his bare chest. At least he had pants on this time and there was no chick next to him. He pushed off the bed and opened the door, the smell of frying bacon instantly hitting him. He wasn’t sure whether it made him feel sicker, but he followed his nose to the kitchen anyway.

In the far corner, a short female with curly reddish-brown hair was standing by the stove holding tongs. His eyes wandered down her body, the negligée she was wearing leaving little to the imagination. He cleared his throat to get her attention. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled. He wondered whether he’d done her. Although she was hot, he kind of hoped he hadn’t, the thought of Beth making him feel like it was cheating. Though, fuck knew why, because Beth wasn’t his, plus he’d gone to La Rock last night to wipe her from his memory, he just wished that Sandra hadn’t shown, because she looked too much like Beth, her presence making him feel guilty, which he didn’t understand. Shit, Beth was warping his brain, creating feelings he couldn’t handle. He just needed to repeat over and over again that he couldn’t have her.

“You hungry, Dante?” the chick asked.

Great, she knew his name. He just hoped he hadn’t given her his phone number too. “I need coffee.”

She tapped a plunger. “Got plenty of that. Plonk yourself down, and I’ll bring everything over.”

He slumped into a chair and rested his forehead on the table. He must’ve drunk even more than usual, because he hadn’t had a hangover this bad in ages, the techno music from last night still playing its damn beat across his frontal lobe.

He looked up as a mug and plate was put in front of him. “Thanks,” he said, picking up the coffee.

The chick sat across from him. “How’re ya feeling this morning?”

“Like crap.” He hesitated. “Did we… ah… did we fuck?”

She grinned, her cheeky smile reminding him of someone. “I wish, but nope, you were too drunk, and Beth would’ve killed me.”

Oh crap. “Beth’s here?”

“Yeah, you slept in her room.”

Jesus, he hoped Ash didn’t hear about this. “Um, where did she sleep?”

“On the couch, though God only knows why the stupid woman listened to me, cos I didn’t expect her to.”

Because she’s still hung up on Ash. Dante took a sip of his coffee, feeling disappointment instead of relief.

“By the way, my name’s Josie. I’m Beth’s cousin.”

“Nice to meet ya, and thanks for the grub.”

“No worries, I’d love to have you over for breakfast more often. You can sleep in my bed next time.” She giggled, her eyes twinkling.

Dante couldn’t tell whether she was joking or not. He took another drink of coffee to avoid replying.

Noise came from the lounge. A few seconds later Beth walked into the kitchen with her kimono on. Dante’s eyes lowered down it, his mind rewinding to when he’d taken it off her. She walked past him, her “G’morning” barely audible. She poured herself a coffee, then leaned against the cupboard, her gaze avoiding his.

“Dante?” Josie said.

He looked back at Beth’s cousin. “Huh?”

“You gonna eat your bacon sandwich?”

“Sure.” He picked it up and bit into it, even though he’d lost his appetite the second Beth had walked in.

“After you finish your breakfast, I wanna take you on a tour of the flat,” Josie said, her grin telling him it was going to finish in her bedroom.

He glanced across at Beth who was now glaring at her cousin’s back. “I need a shower first,” he said, getting to his feet. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Josie jumped up and grabbed his arm, tugging him through the doorway. Beth followed them into the passage. “You need help washing?” Josie said, her expression a strange mixture of sex and innocence, like the way Corey looked at Sledge.

Snap! That’s who she reminded him of. She was a female version of Corey, far more so than Beth, who was taller and darker. Plus, Josie’s cheeky humour was similar.

“You remind me of Corey,” he said.

Her expression soured. “I don’t look like a boy!”

Beth started laughing behind them.

Josie glared at Beth. “It’s not my fault Corey looks like a bloody girl!”

“He does not,” Beth replied. “He’s just adorable looking, which I must say you’re not.”

“What a load of baloney, he’s a lying li’l toad who lost me Daryl.”

“Your sleazy ex hit on him.”

“Daryl’s not gay. And Corey looks more like a girl than I do. No! I didn’t mean it like that; I meant he looks more like a girl than I look like a boy. Stop laughing at me! You’re such a cow!”

“Jesus! I’ve got a hangover, stop shouting.” Dante went into the bathroom and closed the door. Muttering under his breath, he removed his leather pants and underwear, then hopped under the shower head, the cool water making him feel slightly better. He washed his hair and body, then grabbed a towel and dried off. He picked up his leather pants and sniffed them, not liking the smell of smoke. Weed he loved, cigarettes not so much. He pulled them on without his underwear, which he chucked in the rubbish bin. He adjusted his package, not liking the feel of going commando in leather. Didn’t matter anyway, it was only until he got home.

He opened the door, surprised to find both Beth and her cousin still standing there. “I wanna go home. Where’s my shirt and jacket?”

“You can’t,” Beth said “It’s not safe until your stepfather is caught.”

“I still need a change of clothes.”

“That’s alright, you can go nuddy here,” Josie said, her grin back in place.

Beth whacked her cousin’s arm.

“Ow! What’s with you and violence?”

“Your mouth, now go away.”

“No, this is my place, so you leave.”

Dante winced at Josie’s loud voice. “Will ya keep it down? I’ve got a hangover.”

“Sorry, babe,” Josie said, looking anything but. “Let’s go to my room. Once you see my screensaver you’ll forget all about your hangover.” She grabbed Dante’s hand.

“No, Josie.” Beth wrenched Josie away from him.

Josie pulled free. “What is wrong with you?!”

“You. Why’re you doin’ this to me?”

“Cos you’re treating me like crap!”

“Then stop hitting on him.”

“So, what would happen if I slept with him? Will you trash my life like you did Carly’s?”

“Stoppit, Josie!”

“No, you stoppit! Maybe Dante should know what type of person you are.”

“No, please, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yes, you did! You stole Carly’s phone and texted Dante’s nude picture to everyone.”

“What?!” Dante shouted. They’d been arguing too fast for his aching head to keep up, but Josie’s last words knocked him for six. He turned to Beth in shock. Now everything made sense. She’d been in the room with him and Carly. They would’ve been easy prey, because Carly had been blotto too. He could see it so clearly: Beth snapping a picture of him while he was passed out, vulnerable and naked, then sending it to everyone, not caring about his or Carly’s safety, because everyone knew Deano was a violent sonofabitch. God, he felt like throwing up.

Beth started stammering out apologies and excuses, all of it wasted.

“How could you do that to me?” he said, barely getting it out. His head was killing him, his heart was shattered, and his body was shaking. He’d experienced this before, right after Kara had dumped him. He’d loved her too, but not as much as Beth.

“I-I w-wuzn’t thinking,” she said.

“I almost got killed over that picture!” he yelled. She was crying, but he didn’t give a shit, because she didn’t give a shit about him. “People called me a man-whore. I couldn’t go down the road without someone making fun of me. I wuz humiliated. Why would you do that to me?”

“I didn’t mean to send it to everyone.”

“You shouldn’t have sent it to anyone!”

Beth reached out for him. “I’m sorry—”

He stepped back, knocking into Josie.

“Please, Dante, I’d do anything to make things right,” Beth cried.

“Then stay the fuck away from me!” He pushed past her and headed for the door, totally done with her and this whole bloody town.

16

Sledge

Sledge knocked on Corey’s bedroom door. When no one answered, he opened it and poked his head inside. The pale green curtains were drawn and the bed was unmade, while a slight smell of pot permeated the room—pretty much the norm for Corey. Sledge walked in and sat down on the bed. With everything that had gone down yesterday he hadn’t had the opportunity to tell Corey or Naf about Tama. He flopped back on the mattress, feeling gutted. He wondered whether Beth had mentioned anything to her brothers, but didn’t think so since they hadn’t contacted him, which meant it was up to him to break the news as well as to find out when the funeral was on, something he was dreading going to. He couldn’t imagine Tama dead, the guy too full of life to be lowered six-feet under.

Exhaling loudly, he wiped a hand over his face, wishing Corey was here. He needed his mate, because Corey knew how to make him feel better when he was depressed—or right now, shattered. And he was desperate to talk to someone who could understand a little of what he was feeling. Naf would, but he didn’t want to break down in front of him, and if he started talking about Tama he knew he would, because it had taken all of his strength not to start crying in front of Dante. He didn’t feel comfortable crying in front of anyone, but if he did, it would be with Corey.

“Whatcha doin’ in ’ere?”

Sledge bolted upright, his gaze darting to Naf. “Nuthin’. I didn’t know you were home, your car’s not here.”

Naf entered the room, dressed in the same hoodie and jeans from yesterday, and reeking of cigarette smoke. “It broke down.”

“Sorry. Do ya know where Corey is? I wanna talk to him ’bout...” Tama “...things.”

“He’s pro’bly sleeping the party off somewhere.”

Sledge stood up. “What party?”

Naf took a step back. “Ah... At Kirstin Jones’s place. He wanted to stay behind, so I left with your cousins Tag... I mean, Kane and Mick, to do a bit of tagging.”

“Kirstin Jones as in Len Jones’s daughter, the fattest bastard in Auckland and the same prick who shot at Dante and attacked Ash?”

“I have no idea who her father is, and Jones is a common name. Anyway, your cousins were there, so chill, it must be alright.”

“Still, why the hell didja take Corey to a party? You know what he’s like; he’d be filling up on booze and drugs.”

“Stop tripping, man. He’s pro’bly sleeping it off at Ty...” Naf grimaced. “He met someone and is most likely at their place.”

Yeah, probably some slapper, Sledge thought. God, why did Corey do this shit? He was going to get hurt again, he could just see it. “Do ya know where the chick lives? I’ll go pick him up.”

“He doesn’t need ya holding his hand; he can make his own way back.”

“He’s sick, and he has the worst taste in chicks. I don’t want him gettin’ hurt again.” Sledge clenched his hands. “Don’t look at me like that; I’m worried after what happened with Juliet, and you should be too.”

“Yeah, true,” Naf said, looking guilty.

Sledge’s ears perked up at the sound of a car. Hoping it was Corey, he headed outside, but instead got Juliet. Her eyes locked onto his. Looking panicked, she fumbled with the car door, getting it open as Sledge ran for her.

He slammed it shut. “You might as well tell me why you beat up Corey, cos I’m not letting you get away this time.”

“No, let go of the door, I hafta pick up Ash.”

“Then why’d ja come home?”

“None of your biz, let go!”

“No! You tell me why you punched Corey. Now!”

“It’s between me and Corey, not you.”

Sledge slammed a fist into the panel next to Juliet. She squealed and jumped to the side, raising her hands to cover her head. “Tell me or I’ll make ya!”

Naf pushed himself in between them. Sledge looked down at his short mate, thinking the bloke had balls. Naf couldn’t fight to save himself, let alone protect Juliet.

“Corey doesn’t want cha hurtin’ her, so back off,” Naf said.

Sledge sneered at him. “You’ve changed your tune. I heard you yelling at her yesterday. Has Corey told ja what happened?”

“It’s between Corey and Juliet, not you.”

Sledge leaned over Naf, dwarfing him. “Tell me.”

Naf looked like he was going to piss himself. “Corey doesn’t want cha knowing.”

Sledge’s lips twitched. “Why am I the only one not allowed to know?”

“Cos it’s up to Corey.”

“But, he never hides stuff from me.”

“Oh, yes he does.”

“Like what?” Sledge said, feeling like this had more to do with him than Juliet.

“Believe you me, you don’t wanna know.”

Sledge breathed out, trying to calm himself down. “But, I do.”

Naf shook his head as a car turned into the driveway. Sledge’s gaze shifted to the Alfa Romeo. His eyes widened in shock. What the fuck was Corey doing with Tyler Jones?

Sledge ran for the car, yanking the door open as Tyler pulled on the handbrake. He jammed an arm across Tyler’s neck and undid the seatbelt.

“Get offa me!” Tyler struggled against him, trying to push Sledge’s face away.

“Leave him alone, Sledge!” Corey yelled.

Once the buckle was undone, Sledge yanked Tyler out, furious that the poof was even in the same proximity as Corey. Tama had told him all about Tyler hitting on Corey a few months back, so now it was his turn to hit on Tyler, just with his fists.

“Your uncle almost killed my brother!” Sledge yelled, raising a fist.

“No!” Corey grabbed Sledge’s arm and tried to pull him away.

Yanking it free, Sledge dropped Tyler and turned on Corey. “What the fuck are you doin’ with that princess? Tama warned you ’bout him.”

“He’s a mate.”

“A mate?” Sledge stared at Corey in disbelief. “His dad and uncle have attacked my brothers more than once, and you’re his mate? You’re s’posed to be mine.”

Corey’s face screwed up.

“You’re not gonna cry, are ya?” Sledge said. “What sort of pansy-arsed shit is this? First Juliet beats you up, then you come home with this twat.” He gestured towards Tyler. “And why the hell is he giving you a lift for anyway? Are ya doin’ his cousin?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

Corey’s gaze moved past Sledge. “I went with him last night.”

“Where to?”

“I... Ah... Go away!” Corey yanked his beanie over his eyes.

Sledge grabbed Corey’s wrist and pulled the beanie back up. “Tell me straight or I’ll pull the damn thing off.”

Corey tried to free his hand. “Lemme go!”

“Not until you tell me,” Sledge said, grabbing the other one.

“I went to his place in Herne Bay. Okay!”

Sledge let go and cupped Corey’s face, trying to see if there were any new bruises. “Did he hurt you?”

Corey yanked his face free. “No!”

“What were you thinking goin’ with him? You know he has a thing for you. He could’ve forced you.”

“He didn’t do anything to me that I didn’t want!”

Sledge went still. “What’s that s’posed to mean?”

Corey stared back, his face frightened. “Nuthin’.”

“No, you tell me now or I’ll bash the shit outta that fuckin’ homo,” he said, pointing at Tyler.

“Then you might as well bash me too, cos I’m the same as him.”

“No, you’re not.”

Corey started shaking, his expression terrified. “Yes, I am. I’m a fag, a queer, a princess and a fuckin’ homo—all the things you hate. So, leave Tyler alone, this isn’t his fault, it’s mine, cos I went to Kirstin’s party looking for him.”

Sledge shook his head. “You can’t be a fag, you went with Juliet.”

“Well, I am.”

“But you had that threesome with...” me. No! Corey didn’t touch him AT ALL, and the chick blew Corey, therefore his mate had to like females, because he’d gotten hard. And Tyler was hot, and if he was desperate enough for sex even he would let the guy blow him, but that didn’t make him or Corey gay. “You’re confused,” Sledge said. “One blow, or whatever you guys did, doesn’t make you a fag,” which he knew all too well, the memory of the transvestite sucking him off coming back.

“I’m not confused,” Corey replied.

“Then why didja fuck Juliet?” Sledge glanced over at his sister, thinking Tyler was a hell of a lot prettier. “Did she put you off females?”

“What?!” Juliet screamed.

Corey shook his head. “No, I like her—”

“Cos I look like you!” Juliet yelled at Sledge. “He used me cos he wants you! And you really wanna know why I punched him?”

“No, Juliet!” Corey shouted.

“Cos he called out your name when he came!”

Sledge’s face fell, the memory of Corey shouting his name finally hitting home. He turned back to Corey. “That’s why Juliet beat you up?”

Corey started crying again.

Sledge’s mind went back to the threesome. Oh God, Corey had been perving at him. “You set up that threesome.”

“I’m so sorry.” Corey spun around and ran for the house.

Tyler went to follow.

Sledge grabbed him from behind. “Oh, no you don’t, you’re not ever goin’ near him again.”

“He’s my boyfriend, so lemme go!” Tyler shouted, trying to free himself.

“He’s not your boyfriend!”

“Yes, he is, cos it was my name he called out last night, not yours!”

Before Sledge knew what he was doing, he had blood on his fist with Tyler screaming underneath him. Something banged into his side, knocking him off Tyler. He landed on his back as Corey rolled off him. His mate curled up into a ball, his moans punctuated with swearing.

Naf ran over to Corey. “Bro, you alright?”

Corey shook his head, then hit out at Naf when his brother tried to help him up. Sledge pushed Naf aside and scooped up Corey in his arms. Corey continued to swear, his expression pained.

Sledge glared down at Tyler. “Move your car,” he barked.

Tyler covered his nose. “Fuck you,” he said, his voice muffled.

Naf bent down and searched Tyler’s pockets for keys. “They must be in the car.” He jumped into the Alfa Romeo, then reversed out onto the road.

Sledge carried Corey over to Juliet and her car. “Open the backdoor; I’m taking him to the hospital.”

Juliet pulled it open, her expression full of guilt. Sledge gently laid Corey on the back seat, then took his sister’s keys. Without a word, he got in and backed out.

17

Ash

Ash walked around the blue Ford as Juliet unlocked it, wondering why she was picking him up from the hospital in Corey’s car.

He slipped into the front passenger seat and clicked on his seatbelt. “What happened to your car?”

She shut her door. “Sledge is borrowing it, cos...” She bit her lip, looking like she was about to cry. “It isn’t my fault, it’s Corey’s, but Sledge looked at me like I caused the problem. He always blames me for everything.”

“What happened?”

She brought a hand to her face.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he said, pushing her hair back.

“Corey called out Sledge’s name while we were having sex, and Sledge found out.”

Ash almost choked.

“It’s not funny!”

“I didn’t laugh, you just took me by surprise.” He leaned over and hugged her. “And those arseholes aren’t worth gettin’ upset over.”

Juliet rested her head against him. “I can’t help it; I’ve made a right mess of things. I told Sledge what happened, and cos of it he beat up Corey’s new boyfriend. Corey ended up gettin’ hurt tryna stop him.”

“That’s not your fault, that’s Sledge’s and Corey’s. But still, why the hell didja go after Corey for?”

“I didn’t, he came onto me.”

Ash let go of her and shook his head. “The bloody user. He obviously asked you cos he didn’t think he could get Sledge that way.”

“But, I don’t get it, he doesn’t look gay.”

“He does to me. That kid follows Sledge round like a lap dog with his tongue hanging out and drool dripping offa it.”

“Then, why didn’t cha tell me?”

“I didn’t know you were interested in him, you never said.”

“You still could’ve told Sledge, you’re the only one who wouldn’t have gotten hit for it.”

“It’s none of my biz, plus Sledge is just as much hung up on that twat as Corey is on him.”

Juliet pulled a face. “Whatcha talking ’bout? Sledge isn’t gay. God, he’s a homophobic bastard. I just told you he gay-bashed Corey’s boyfriend.”

“Did Sledge hit Corey?”

“No.”

“Then you’ve just proved my point. Sledge is jealous, cos he wants Corey.”

“He does not, Sledge is the opposite of gay; he bones any girl who shows interest in him.”

“He could be bi or pansexual.”

“Pan what?”

“It’s to do with being attracted to someone, not their gender.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Yes, it does.”

“Well, I don’t believe it. Sledge wouldn’t do Corey, gays disgust him.”

“Then why didn’t he bash Corey as well as that other guy?”

“Cos Corey’s got cancer.”

“Nah, it’s got nuthin’ to do with Corey being sick. Sledge is definitely jealous, and just cos he likes females doesn’t mean he won’t go with Corey. And you can’t always tell whether someone is gay by their looks. I’ve met the most violent thugs who don’t look gay at all, yet they still prefer guys. People get caught up in this stereotype where gays must act and look a certain way, which is a load of bullshit.”

Juliet’s voice softened. “Is this ’bout Chaz?”

“It’s got nuthin’ to do with that perverted freak, you can’t even class him in the same category. He’s not gay or bi, he’s a rapist. I don’t think gender comes into play with rapists, they’re sickos who get off on ruining people’s lives.” He stopped, his mind finally processing what she’d said—and what he’d let slip. “You know what he did to me?”

She nodded. “I still can’t believe he raped you.”

He dropped his gaze.

“I wish you’d told me ‘bout what really happened,” she said.

“I don’t like talking ’bout it,” Ash mumbled. “And Sledge should’ve kept his big mouth shut; it’s my biz, no one else’s.”

“He didn’t tell me, Chaz’s brother did.”

Ash looked up. “Who?”

“His brother wuz one of the prisoners at the hospital. He also told us ’bout how Chaz had the same thing done to him as a kid by their uncle, which makes sense, cos I guess people who’ve been abused end up abusing others.”

“I would never do that.”

“Oh God, I’m sorry, Ash, I didn’t mean you, of course not everyone would do that.”

He glanced out the window at the hospital, the same place he’d been brought to after he’d been raped. He couldn’t comprehend how someone who’d been abused could do it to someone else, because they knew how it felt. “Is Chaz’s brother still in hospital?” he asked. He wouldn’t hurt him; he only wanted to talk to the man. He wasn’t sure why, he just did.

“No, he got sent back to prison earlier today.” She started sniffing. “I still can’t believe he’s related to Chaz. I’ve always liked Tama’s stepdad.”

Ash’s head snapped around. “What?”

“Tama’s stepdad is Chaz’s brother. I only found out yesterday.”

“You’re pulling my leg?”

“No, I wish I wuz, and I wish yesterday never happened.” She started crying again. “Cos that would mean Tama wouldn’t be dead.”

“Shit, you’re hitting me with one thing after another. How’d he die?”

“In the prison riot.”

“Well, at least sumpthin’ good came outta that. And you shouldn’t be crying over that rapist scum. It’s just a shame Chaz didn’t get taken out at the same time.”

She hit Ash’s leg. “Don’t say that! I like Tama.”

“Christ, Juliet, how can you like him after what he did?”

“He didn’t rape that woman.”

“Yes, he did. I’ve seen Jess and she’s shattered. I know what that feels and looks like. And you and Sledge are deluding yourselves if you choose to believe Tama’s lies.”

“He didn’t lie.”

“He did! And I don’t understand how you can’t see that. If Tama can almost kill two people, why is it such a big leap that he could commit rape?”

She scrunched up her face and shook her head.

Ash exhaled. She damn well knew it was true, he could see it clear as day. “You just don’t wanna admit what he did cos you still have a crush on him. Well, get over it, Juliet, cos we fall for the wrong people all the time, and just cos you like someone it shouldn’t blind you to what they are. I made the mistake of liking and trusting Chaz, and look what happened. You’re too sweet, Juliet, you want to see the good in people so you glaze over all the bad they do. Tama wuz a sick bastard, so don’t you dare mourn him.”

She wiped her cheeks. “I can’t help it.”

“Then visit his victims, cos you won’t mourn the scum after that.”

“No, I don’t wanna go anywhere near them.”

“Stop being ignorant, Juliet.”

“Don’t insult me.”

“But you are, and I don’t want cha gettin’ hurt, you’re too precious to me.”

Her angry expression wavered on his last words. “You still make me mad.”

A sad smile played across his lips. “What? Is my insanity catching?”

“Don’t say that, you’re not insane.”

“I feel like it sometimes.”

“Well, you’re not.”

He shrugged. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t, he didn’t know. His phone started ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the number. He swore under his breath then answered it, readying himself for an attack.

Deano Jones’s gruff voice came over the line. “My wife better not be at your house or I’ll rip Dante’s head off!”

“He’s not interested in your woman, he’s fuckin’ my one.”

The line went quiet for a moment, then a loud bark of laughter travelled over it. “That made my day.” Deano’s laughter continued, punctuated by snorts.

“Shut the fuck up, you cunt!”

The laughing stopped. “What the fuck didja you just call me?”

“A cunt, like your fat bastard of a cousin. He knocked me out yesterday.”

“You’re responsible for his room?!”

“No, your wife is.”

“Bullshit! Tell me what you did to him or I’m gonna wipe out your whole family!”

“You keep away from them! I didn’t cause this shit, Len did. He wuz bashing Carly so she shot him.”

“How the fuck can she do that without a bloody gun?”

“I tried to stop Len, but he knocked me out. When I came to, Carly told me she took my gun—” He moved the phone away from his ear, then put it back. “He ain’t dead, she only got him in the arm and shoulder.”

“Only?!” Deano yelled. “He can still bleed to death!”

“Craven’s men are looking after him, so stop bloody yelling at me.”

“Why did he attack her?”

“She wouldn’t leave me alone cos she thought I wuz Dante. She reeked of meth.”

Deano grunted, his breathing still sounding like a bull ready to attack. “Dammit, I told Len he could reel her in if she overstepped the mark, but not to go whole hog on her.”

“Which means he’s pro’bly avoiding you on purpose.”

“The bastard still could’ve told his daughter what was happening. She was in tears after seeing his room.”

Poor kid having a father like that, Ash thought. He hoped people didn’t view him in the same way as he did with Len. “Is that enough from me?”

“For now, but if I find out you’re lying, expect a visit.” Deano hung up.

Ash clicked off the phone. “Bastard.”

“Who wuz that?” Juliet asked.

“Deano Jones.”

She pulled a face. “I don’t understand why you’re still delivering to the Joneses.”

“I don’t have a choice; they’re also under Craven’s hand.”

“Still, you should report them to the police after what they did to you.”

“Nah, it’ll only make things worse involving those blue bastards, and the boss’s men will make sure Len and Deano stick to the status quo. Anyway, enough of them, I wanna go visit my li’l boy.”

***

Ash knocked on Tiana’s door, still surprised that she’d visited him in hospital, and even more at the invitation to come see Angelo. He didn’t know what to make of that, because she usually tried her best to keep him away from their son.

He knocked again, hoping she hadn’t changed her mind—like all the other times, leaving him banging on the door like an idiot while she was someplace else. Christ! Please, someone—anyone, answer the fucking door. He started pounding it harder, ignoring Juliet as she told him to be patient. He’d been far too patient already, not something he was willing to do anymore. He exhaled when he heard approaching footsteps. The lock scraped open, then the door flung inwards to reveal Angelo.

Smiling wide, Ash bobbed down and held open his arms. “Kia Ora, Son,” he said, using the Māori greeting for hello.

“Dad!” Angelo bowled into him, almost knocking him into Juliet.

Ash righted himself then picked up Angelo, giving him a little shake he was so happy. His gaze moved down the passage as Tiana appeared. She leaned against the wall, watching them, her expression unreadable. Feeling self-conscious, Ash put Angelo down. It felt almost like she was waiting for him to make a mistake, so she could have an excuse for him not to see Angelo again. Maybe that was why she’d invited him. No, he needed to stop being paranoid and enjoy the visit. He was here to play with Angelo, not to lose his cool over Tiana.

Angelo grabbed his hand. “Come see my room, Dad.”

Ash nodded a hello at Tiana as he was tugged into Angelo’s bedroom. Like SpongeBob, the walls were yellow with posters of the characters from the program along with a few pictures of teenage girls tacked up on the wall.

Ash pointed at the pictures. “Last time I saw you, you hated girls.”

“He loves Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato,” Tiana said.

Ash stared at her blankly, because he had no idea who they were.

“They’re actresses as well as singers,” she added.

“I love Selena the best,” Angelo said, grinning wide, and reminding Ash of how Dante used to look at the same age, his brother’s interest in girls also starting early. God, his li’l boy was growing up far too fast. Although Angelo’s room was a picture of innocence now, Ash knew within a few years it would look a lot different. And that scared him. He wished he could freeze this moment in time before everything changed, and before he lost his sweet little boy completely.

Angelo picked up a rugby ball and threw it at Ash, cutting off his line of thought.

“No throwing balls in the house, Angelo,” Tiana said.

Ash indicated with his head for Angelo to follow him. He took off past Tiana and Juliet, heading through the house with Angelo racing after him. Ash cut through the sunroom, jumped down the back stairs and ran across the backyard, yelling at Angelo to catch him. He dodged his son easily, laughing as Angelo stopped and stomped his foot on the ground. Ash held the ball out, then whipped it back when Angelo went to take it. Grinning, he held it out again, this time letting Angelo have it before his son threw a major tantrum. Angelo ran off with the ball, heading for the long clothesline.

“You’re too fast for me, Son,” Ash said, pretending he couldn’t catch him.

“Slow coach, slow coach—” Angelo squealed as Ash ran at him again. “No!”

Ash grabbed him and lifted him over his shoulder, spinning him in a circle. Angelo squealed louder, the ball flying out of his hands. Ash put him down, watching as Angelo picked up the ball and flung himself under the clothesline, like he was making a try.

Tiana called out, asking if he wanted a drink. Ash turned and shaded his eyes with a hand, the sunlight coming over the rooftop too bright. “Coffee. Make sure it’s—”

“Black, I know. You two play a bit longer, then come inside for food.”

Transfixed by the moment, Ash watched her disappear inside the house. Her standing there like that, calling out to him while he played with their son ... it hurt. He missed this, wanted to do it every day, but he never got what he wanted, just had to live. Christ, when did he give up?

Angelo ran at him, ploughing into his knees. Taken by surprise, Ash fell down with Angelo landing on top of him. Before Angelo could scamper away, he grabbed his son and gave him a hug. Angelo wiggled about, shouting at him to let go; probably thinking it was all part of the game. Ash released him and sat up, watching as his son ran off with the ball again, happy that the boy was so carefree, the opposite of what he’d been like at nine. He’d had to contend with his father’s violent temper, something that had eventually ruined his parents’ marriage.

Tiana called out for them to come inside. Ash got to his feet and wiped the grass off his jeans, then followed Angelo into the house. They entered the lounge, where Juliet and Tiana were sitting with biscuits and hot drinks in hand. Angelo grabbed a handful of biscuits off the coffee table then turned on the TV, getting a scolding from Tiana. He ignored her and sat down, flicking through the channels until he found a cartoon he liked.

Tiana shook her head, then focused on Ash. “Juliet told me ’bout that creature escaping.”

Ash picked up his coffee, wishing she didn’t have to bring his stepfather up.

“Juliet also tells me you’re goin’ back home. That’s not a good idea, that’s the second place he’d go to.” She left the first place unsaid, Ash’s childhood home having been sold a long time ago.

“I’ll be fine,” Ash said.

“No, it’s not safe. Please be sensible.”

“Like Beth said, I’m not a kid anymore; and I can take Chaz on—that’s if he shows. And anyway, the cops said they would be patrolling my street.” Which was unfortunate since it was going to make business damn hard. He just hoped they weren’t there all of the time.

Tiana’s face darkened. “You should report Beth for hitting you.”

“Eh?” He wondered how she knew about that, because he’d only told... He glanced at Juliet, who looked down, her expression guilty, which meant that Tiana probably also knew about Dante and Beth. Bloody great!

He put his mug on the table and grabbed a biscuit. “It wuz only one slap,” he mumbled, before stuffing it into his mouth.

“You still can’t let her get away with it. That’s domestic violence.”

“Talk about an overreaction.” He went silent, clicking onto why she’d gotten upset. Her mother used to slap her, which had stopped Tiana from even smacking Angelo’s hand. “She didn’t hit me that hard,” he finally added, hoping it would satisfy her.

“You’re too forgiving,” Tiana said.

He snorted. “Me forgiving? You must be thinking of your other ex.”

Tiana’s face darkened. “You damn well know I’ve only been with you.”

“How would I know, people tell me shi...” He glanced over at Angelo, “stuff all the time that isn’t true.”

“I don’t lie.”

Oh, yes, you do, like all the times you said I could visit Angelo, then reneged. “Look, I didn’t come here to argue. And how would I know what you do now? It’s not like I’m part of your life anymore, I’m barely part of Angelo’s, which you need to fix, cos I’m not putting up with it anymore.”

“I’m letting you see him now.”

“Letting me?” Ash shook his head, thinking it was bloody rich of her. “Well, I guess I should thank you for letting me see my own son.”

Juliet stood up. “Angelo, you wanna play with me outside?”

“Nah, Ben 10’s on.”

“I’ll give you five bucks if you can catch me.” Juliet took off through the kitchen.

Angelo jumped up and ran after her, shouting for her to slow down.

Ash watched them as they left, too angry to look at Tiana.

“I’m sorry, Ash,” she said. “Everything’s coming out wrong. You just wind me up.”

“Me?” He turned back to her. “What did I do?”

She appeared uncomfortable, her cheeks rosier than normal. “I get flustered around you.”

“I don’t see why. Not like you care about me.”

“Don’t say that, of course I care.”

“Yeah, right.” He folded his arms, wishing she was telling the truth, and that she didn’t look so damn hot. She even had makeup on, not something she tended to wear much of. Plus, her blouse was showing off her tits. He could see the space between her bra, the mounds on either side... His eyes snapped up to her face, realising what he was doing—and what she was doing. She hardly ever got dressed up. His eyes narrowed. “Who’re you dolling up for? Have you got a guy coming round?”

Her mouth fell open.

He grimaced. “Yeah, you do, don’t ya? Didja bring me here to rub it in my face? Well, you can think again, cos no jumped-up wannabe father is allowed anywhere near my boy.”

“I told you I’m not goin’ out with anyone.”

“Then why the hell are your tits hanging out?”

“My breasts are not hanging out! And why’re you being such an arse?”

“Can’t take that title from you, darling.”

“Ash! You’re unbelievable. I’m trying to be nice to you and all you’re doin’ is insulting me.”

“Then don’t lie to me! Who are you goin’ out with? Cos it’s stopping right now.”

“I’m not lying, and you have a damn nerve. I never came over to your place and demanded you leave Beth.”

“Cos you don’t care about me.”

“I do so, I love you!”

“People tell me they love me all the time, but it doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“God, you frustrate me! There is no other man, for goodness sakes, I’m dressing up for you, you blind fool.”

Ash went to retort, then stopped, her words finally filtering through.

Looking embarrassed, she dropped her gaze. “You’re the only one I’ve ever dressed up for.”

“But why?” he said, not understanding any of this. She’d left him, usually avoided him, it didn’t make sense.

“After Juliet told me what happened with Beth, I’ve been thinking that maybe, if you want... um... we could possibly start dating.”

“You wanna date me?” Ash said in disbelief. “But you hate me.”

“I’ve already told you that I love you,” she said, looking annoyed again. “So, stop questioning me.”

“But, you left me, and you hardly ever lemme see Angelo.”

She moved closer, making him nervous, even more so when she placed a hand on his leg. “I never wanted to leave you, I told you that.”

“But, you still did, and if you really loved me you would’ve stayed.”

“You know I have issues with you dealing. You were putting all of us in danger.”

“Then why’re you even speaking to me, cos I can’t give it up; you know I’ve tried. Craven’s got me by the balls.”

“Cos being away from you is driving me crazy. I thought I could cope, but I can’t, it hurts too much, which is why I ran every time you came over. It wasn’t about you seeing Angelo, it was about me seeing you and knowing I couldn’t have you. But, I can’t take it any longer and when I heard you’d left Beth I thought... God, I want you so much, Ash.”

Ash stared at her stunned, then reached out to wipe a runaway tear cutting a path down her cheek, but retracted his hand at the last second. He didn’t want to jump head first into a relationship, giving his all when she would probably leave him again. But he wanted her so badly, needed her, because their separation had driven him into a depression. God, he should never have gotten into another relationship after Tiana had walked out, because in all truth, he had cheated on Beth, not physically, but emotionally, because Tiana had been a shadow in the back of his mind, something that had been more damaging than Beth sleeping with Dante.

“Ash?” Tiana said, her voice cracking. “Please say sumpthin’.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“That you’re willing to gimme another chance.”

God, why the hell wasn’t he shouting yes?

She started fidgeting with her skirt. “You could even stay here while the police search for that creature. I know Angelo would love it, and I ... I would too.”

This was what he wanted, what he’d dreamed of, yet he found it hard to answer her. He knew she would never come to his place, but right now he wasn’t sure he cared.

“Ash, please answer me.”

“Okay,” he said, barely getting it out.

“Okay, as in you’ll gimme another chance?” she said, looking hopeful.

“Yes.”

A huge smile instantly washed away her worried expression. She moved up close, her face only a kiss away. “I meant it when I said I love you. And there’s been no one else.”

Thinking he was definitely dreaming, his eyes lowered to her mouth. She bit her bottom lip, making him forget why they’d argued.

She placed a hand on his chest, saying “I love you” in Tongan, then leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.

All thought went out of his head. His mind was clear for the first time in ages, but his body went into overdrive. He grabbed her head and kissed her back roughly, because it had been far too long.

18

Juliet

Juliet re-entered the house, surprised, yet extremely happy to see Ash and Tiana kissing. She grabbed Angelo before her nephew could ruin the moment, quickly directing him back out the door. Ash deserved happiness, and that was to have his family back and to be done with Beth, because the Connors were nothing but users... Okay, maybe not Naf, especially after he’d defended her against Sledge. Apart from Ash, no guy had ever done something like that. She frowned, still annoyed with Aroha for saying those things about Naf. He wasn’t unattractive, just a bit messy at times, and maybe he shouldn’t eat so much, but if it made him happy, why not? He still had a nice face and he was usually easy to talk to, and he was never stingy with sharing his stuff...

“Aunty J.” Angelo tugged on her arm, snapping her thoughts away from Naf. “Why can’t we go back in?”

She ruffled his hair. He had the same messy black waves as his father, the type that made you want to mess it up even more. “Cos your mum and dad are kissing.”

He pulled a face. “Ewww.”

She laughed. “Maybe, but it’s still a good thing.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Why? It’s gross.”

“Cos it means they might get back together.”

His face brightened. “Really?”

“Yup. Would you like that?”

“Yeah! And Dad can come live with us.”

“Um, I’m not sure ’bout that, he has his own home.”

“But he should live with me.”

“I agree, but we’ll see what he says first, okay?”

“Nah ah, I’m gonna tell him now.”

Juliet grabbed him as he went to run past her. “No, you don’t, you’ll see them kissing.”

He wiggled free. “But I wanna tell him.”

“Wait until they finish.”

He scrunched up his face, like he was about to throw a tantrum, then planted his butt on the grass.

Juliet sat next to him, watching as he started pulling out grass. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Making confetti for when they get married.”

Smiling, Juliet started pulling out grass too. Although she didn’t think Ash would ever get married, it didn’t stop her from hoping that he would eventually ask Tiana. She liked Tiana, always had, and was annoyed when she’d left Ash. And when Beth had come along, it had annoyed her even more, because she could see that Beth wasn’t right for him.

Her phone went off. She pulled it out of her jeans’ pocket, checking who it was before answering. “W’sup, Aroha?”

“Not much, where are you?”

“At Tiana’s. Guess what?” Juliet said, excited to tell someone the news, then barrelled ahead before Aroha could reply. “Ash and Tiana are kissing. I think they might get back together.”

“But what about Beth?”

“He’s broken up with her; she cheated on him with Dante.”

“Yeah, I can believe that, Dante’s a horndog.”

“Don’t call him that,” Juliet said, not sure why she was defending him when Aroha was right.

“Well, it’s true. He causes so much trouble. Ash does too. Those two are right arseholes.”

“Don’t you dare insult Ash!”

“Dante not worth defending?”

“Not at the moment.” Juliet glanced down at Angelo. He looked up at her with a quizzical expression. “And Ash is a sweetheart,” she said, pointing at the ground for Angelo to continue what he was doing.

“Don’t make me laugh, he’s a...” Aroha stopped.

“He’s a what?” Juliet said, trying to control her voice, although she wanted to yell.

“Nuthin’, I don’t really know him that well.”

“Yes, cos if you did you’d know he wuz lovely.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Aroha said, sounding anything but.

“And so you should be, and why’re you calling me anyway, is Corey okay?”

“Yeah, Naf told me all about the fight, shame I missed it. I would’ve loved to see your bro’s face when Corey came out. It would’ve been classic.”

“Why’re you being so horrible?” Juliet ground out.

“Sheesh, you’re a bit touchy today. And Corey’s fine, he’s just got bruised ribs. Hardly sumpthin’ I’d take him to the hospital for. Though, you’re a right love to be concerned ’bout that li’l bugger...” She started sniggering. “Shouldn’t have said bugger with Corey. I wonder whether he’s a top or a bottom.”

“Aroha!”

“If he’s after Sledge then I’d say a bottom, and a very sore one if he succeeds, cos your bro looks like he’s got a third leg down there, it’s so fucking huge. Got an eyeful once when I walked in on him while he wuz showering.”

“Don’t talk ’bout Sledge like that.”

Aroha started laughing. “Sorry, can’t help making a right arse of myself, but gotta say he has the biggest slong I’ve seen hanging free. Wonder what it looks like hard?”

Juliet hung up. She went to pocket the phone, then grunted as it started ringing. She answered it: “What do ya want now?”

“Don’t hang up again,” Aroha replied. “I rang for a reason.”

“Then stop grossing me out.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll watch my dirty mouth. I just needa know where Ash and Dante are staying.”

“Why?”

“The cops wanna know.”

“They can get stuffed, and why would they ask you?”

“They rang Sledge, but, as you know, he isn’t home. Plus, I still needa know, cos I hafta give sumpthin’ to Ash.”

“Well, I don’t know where Dante is, but I overheard Tiana ask Ash to stay with her. My guess is, with the way those two are kissing, he’ll say yes.”

“What’s her address so I can bring this shit over?” Aroha laughed, then the phone went silent.

“Aroha? You still there?”

Sniggering was heard again. “Sorry.”

“What’re you laughing at? And what do ya have for Ash?”

“You’re a curious li’l birdie, but I can’t tell you, cos it’s not my place to go ruining surprises.”

“Is it for his birthday?” Juliet asked, intensely curious. She loved birthday presents, and had spent ages looking for the perfect one for Ash.

“Yeah,” Aroha said. “Look, I’ve got stuff to do, so can I just have the address? I’ve gotta get back to Naf. He gets so frickin’ jealous when I don’t pay him attention.”

“Sure, it’s 8 Stanley Road. It’s not far from Sylvia Park.”

“Ta, hun, and I’ll see ya at dinner. Make sure you’re not late cos I’m shouting pizza. Actually, turn up early otherwise Naf will bloody eat it all. He’s a right pig.”

“Don’t call him that, he treats you with respect,” even though you don’t deserve it. “So, you should treat him the same way.” Yeah, Ash was right, she did look for the good in people, but maybe some of them, like Aroha, didn’t have enough. “And I’m not taking you to see...” Juliet stopped, realising she couldn’t take Aroha to see Tama anyway.

“To see Tama?” Aroha said, her voice going soft, like she was upset.

“You know what happened to him?”

“No! He’s not dead; I don’t care what anyone says, he’s too hot to die. So, you shut it now.” Someone yelled behind Aroha. “And you shut the fuck up too!”

“Aroha! What has gotten into you?”

“Just don’t mention Tama again. And you too, you arsehole, or I’ll rip you a new one,” Aroha spat at whoever was on the other side, most likely Naf. God, the poor guy didn’t deserve to be treated like that, especially since Tama was actually his friend and not Aroha’s. Aroha should be supporting, not upsetting him. Now, all Juliet wanted to do was to get home to make sure that Naf was alright, because it must be tearing him apart.

“Stop yelling at Naf!” Juliet shouted.

“Eh? I’m not yelling at—” Aroha hung up.

Juliet stared at the phone speechless, then re-pocketed it, doing her best to push the horrible woman out of her mind, because Aroha wasn’t going to ruin her day after seeing Ash and Tiana together again. She got to her feet. “I’ll get a bag for all that confetti you’re making,” she said to Angelo, who was also making a right mess, his hands covered in mud and grass, along with his trackpants.

He jumped up and grabbed his crotch. “I needa go for a mimi,” he said, using the Māori word for pee.

“Lemme check if your mum and dad have stopped kissing first.”

He started jogging on the spot. “But I needa go. Now!”

“Just wait a mo.” Juliet headed inside, and peered through the space in between the cupboards and the glass cabinet. Ash had Tiana pinned to the couch as he basically mauled the poor woman.

Juliet cleared her throat.

Ash shot upright. He looked over his shoulder, his worried expression turning into a cheeky grin when he spotted Juliet. She hadn’t seen him smile like that in ages, the expression more associated with Dante.

“Needa make it PG,” Juliet said. “The li’l boy has to go for a mimi.”

A second later Angelo flashed past, squealing for the toilet.

Ash laughed, his happy expression making Juliet smile. She walked into the lounge. “So, what’s new, pussycat?” she asked him.

He continued to grin, his eyes sparkling.

Looking flustered, Tiana smoothed down her top and skirt. “Ash is moving in until they catch that creature.”

Juliet nodded, thinking that Ash wasn’t as unforgiving as he thought he was. “Cool, Angelo will be happy, and by the way, he’s making confetti out of grass for your wedding.”

Ash’s smile dropped. “That ain’t ever gonna happen.”

Tiana made a huffing sound.

Ash turned back to her. “You know my views on marriage.”

“It doesn’t mean I agree with them.”

“For chrissake, we’ve only just gotten back together, and marriage is being brought up? For all I know you could dump my sorry arse tomorrow.”

She exhaled. “Look who’s jumping the shotgun. I didn’t mention marriage; I just disagree with the way you look at it like a death knell.”

“It wuz for my mum with both her marriages, the second one literally.” He slumped back into the couch, his spark of happiness gone.

“You’re not your mother, Ash, so you needa stop relating her life to yours and live your own.”

“I am, which is why marriage is not for me.”

“What would change your mind ’bout marrying someone then? Cos obviously love doesn’t come into the equation with you.”

“Just cos I didn’t marry you doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it’s cos I love you so much that I don’t want to.”

Tiana’s face went still. “You really mean that?”

Ash fidgeted, looking intensely uncomfortable. “Yeah, though fuck knows why after the way you treated me.”

Juliet kicked Ash’s leg. “Don’t ruin the moment, you sod.”

He pulled a face at her, then looked back at Tiana. “And I don’t see what a ring would do to change how I feel.”

“Exactly. Marriage wouldn’t change my feelings towards you either.”

“I didn’t mean it like that; I meant there’s no point in marriage.”

“What about your son? Doesn’t he deserve us to be married?”

“You’re wheedling me into a corner, twisting everything. Didja put Juliet up to mentioning marriage?”

“No.”

“Then stop harping on ’bout it then. Only yesterday I wuz with Beth, and I still don’t know where you and me are with things. For all I know you could pack up and leave me hanging again. You haven’t exactly earned my trust.”

“Sorry, it’s just a sore point when you get all defensive over marriage.”

“With me too.”

Tiana took his hand. “I won’t talk about it again; I’m just happy... No, ecstatic we’re dating.”

“Ecstatic?” His smile resurfaced. “And dating sounds teenagerous.”

“Teenagerous isn’t even a word.”

“What? You saying I don’t speak good England?”

“You always say that!” She pounced on him, making him laugh and squirm as she tickled him.

“You two are like teenagers,” Juliet said. “Mad one second, happy the next. Anyway, I hafta go to work soon. You need a lift to get any clothes, Ash?”

Ash grabbed Tiana’s arms and pushed her flat on the couch. “Don’t need my PJs, that’s for sure.”

Tiana laughed. “You don’t wear PJs.”

He grinned. “Oh yeah.”

Juliet rolled her eyes. “PG, people, PG. The boy could walk in and be scarred for life. Hell, you’re scarring me.”

“Guess I should go back and grab some stuff,” Ash said, getting to his feet. “I’ll just say bye to Angelo and then we can take off, cos I wanna get back quick. Tiana’s promised me a full roast dinner along with Pavlova and sex.”

“I did not, you rude man,” Tiana said.

He smirked. “Okay, but I still want the Pavlova and sex.”

Tiana stood up, a shy smile now on her face. “If you put Angelo to bed tonight we’ll see.”

Juliet covered her ears. “Stoppit, my ears are bleeding.”

Ash gave Tiana a kiss, then walked towards the door as Angelo came out. “He grabbed his son and lifted him up, his nose wrinkling. “Boy, do you even know what toilet-paper’s for?”

Angelo squealed. “Lemme down!”

Ash put him down and gave him a hug. “I’m gonna go get some stuff, then I’ll be back. Okay?”

“Can I come?”

Ash glanced over at Tiana, who shook her head. He grimaced.

“Sorry, Ash, let’s take it one step at a time, aye? Plus, he really does stink.” Tiana steered Angelo towards the bathroom. “Righto, Skidmarks, bath-time.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Bye, Juliet. And see ya soon, Ash. Lock the door on the way out,” she shouted as she disappeared into the bathroom with Angelo.

Juliet patted Ash’s back. “Looks like things might work out.”

“We’ll see.”

19

Beth

Beth drove towards her old home in a daze. She couldn’t believe what had happened, all because she’d been stupid enough to tell Josie. She should never have taken that damned photo in the first place, not only because it was wrong, but because she’d violated Dante’s trust. God, the look on his face when he realised what she’d done broke her. She wiped a stray tear as she turned onto Pleasant Parade, knowing she was an idiot for approaching him so soon, but she had to make things right straight away, because she had a bad feeling he was going to skip town.

A white van pulled away from the kerb as she neared the house, driving off in the opposite direction. She parked a few properties down, working up the courage to go inside. But then again, he might not even be home, because once she’d scraped herself together, she’d driven straight over while he had to walk.

Her gaze brushed over Ash’s green Chevy, then flicked back to it. Oh, hell no! She couldn’t face him too. With everything that had happened with Dante she’d completely forgotten Ash was getting out of hospital today.

She lowered her forehead onto the steering wheel, breathing in and out to stop from hyperventilating. She didn’t know how long she stayed like that for, but a car driving past made her look up. The vehicle stopped in Dante’s driveway, letting him out, then reversed and drove off, the driver one of his mates who lived not far from Josie. Dante stood for a while, staring up the road at her car. She wanted to go to him, but knew it was a bad idea to do so in public, especially with their busybody neighbour mowing his front lawn two doors down.

Beth gripped the steering wheel as Dante disappeared inside the house. “You can do this,” she muttered. No, you can’t, her mind countered. She put her forehead back onto the steering wheel, fighting with herself, then jumped when someone rapped on the car bonnet. She looked up to see old man Murphy and his wrinkles staring at her through the window. She wound it down and forced a smile. “Hello, Mr. Murphy.”

“You alright, dear?” he said, looking concerned.

“Yes, I’m just tired.”

“Then why did you park all the way down here?”

She shrugged, not knowing what to say.

“You can tell me, dear,” he said. “Because I’ve been rather concerned over what’s been happening at your place lately, especially with that ambulance turning up last night.”

“Ash hurt his head, but he’s alright now.”

“Did he have a fight with his brothers again?”

“No, they didn’t cause it.”

“Well, you really should consider finding someone else, because those Rata boys are ruffians. You’re far too sweet to be associating with the likes of them.”

Beth smiled. The man may be overly nosy, but he was a sweetheart. “I should go in now. I need to speak to Dante.”

“Okay, then you take care and pop in for a visit anytime you want a chat.”

“Thank you, Mr. Murphy.”

“My pleasure.” With a wave, he was off. Although he was an old fella, he was a very active one, the type she couldn’t imagine ever going into a retirement home.

She got out of the car and willed herself forward, waving at Mr. Murphy as he restarted his lawnmower. She entered the Rata property through the driveway, then came to a standstill at the front door, fear again making her hesitate. “Do it,” she said, now getting annoyed with herself. She unlocked the door and slipped inside.

Shaking, she headed for hers and Ash’s bedroom, relieved that at least he wasn’t there, then moved onto Dante’s. She poked her head through the doorway, taken aback by the state of the room. It was like a tornado had ripped through it, scattering CDs and clothes all over the place, along with cardboard boxes. And in the middle of the mess stood Dante. He had his back to her, swearing as he picked up a suitcase, which he threw at the wall.

“Dante!” she blurted out.

He jolted, then slowly turned around. He looked like a wild man with his bare chest, tattoos, messy hair and dark eyes. She wondered whether he’d shot up on cocaine, because he didn’t look completely sane.

“Get out!” he hollered.

His words ran through her like a bolt of electricity, making her muscles jump and twitch with fear. “P-Please lemme explain.”

“No!”

He started advancing on her. She stumbled out of the room and down the passage, his body language screaming at her to get the hell out of there, because he looked like he wanted to wrap his hands around her neck and snap it. She squealed as he reached out, but his hand moved past, pulling the passage door shut behind her.

Her back hit the door. “I-I didn’t mean f-for this to happen,” she said, her words broken by crying.

“Don’t you dare cry.” He hit the door behind her, the reverberations running down her spine.

“You’re scaring me.”

“Then fuck off!”

“B-But, you’re holding the door shut.”

His lips twitched, then he took a step backwards. When she didn’t make a move, he narrowed his eyes. “What’re you waiting for?”

“I wanna make things right.”

“You can’t.”

“But I have to. I love you.”

“No, you fuckin’ don’t!” He spun around and headed back into his room, slamming the door behind him.

Beth stood rooted to the spot, both wanting and not wanting to leave, because if she did, she knew there wouldn’t be a way back into his life. She was right: he was going to take off, because he’d been packing.

She jumped at the sound of a crash. Loud swearing followed. He had a right to be angry, and to chew her up and spit her out; she just wished he didn’t look so scary while doing it.

She headed for his room again, terrified yet determined as she opened the door.

He spun around, his eyes wide. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I can’t leave until you understand why I texted your picture,” she blurted out, before she tripped over her words and fell into a blubbering mess.

“Cos you fuckin’ hate me, that’s why.”

“No, I said love you, which is why I did it.”

“You’re fucked in the head even worse than I am if ya think that.”

“But I had to stop you from seeing Carly.”

“You were with my brother!”

“I should’ve been with you! I love you more!”

“Bullshit. You’re a lying bitch.”

“I’m not lying!” She was upset over Ash leaving her, but when Dante walked out she was devastated. “I love you so much that I’m even willing to risk gettin’ hurt.”

He stormed over to her, making her jump backwards. “Do you think I’m gonna beat you up? That I’m some lowlife piece of scum like Deano Jones?”

“No.”

“Then say it without flinching!”

“You wouldn’t hurt me,” she said, although she didn’t believe it.

“But YOU hurt me. You ripped my heart out and spat on it.” He grabbed the neck of her blouse and tore it open, then placed a hand on her heart and pushed her against the wall. “Do you have a heart in there or are you just a stone-cold bitch who enjoys screwing with people’s lives?”

“I-I didn’t m-mean to hurt you.”

“I fuckin’ love-d you!”

She flinched, the pain in his voice raw. She was wrong; he did hurt her, because he’d accentuated the “d” at the end of “loved.” Past tense, present tears, he didn’t want her anymore, it was as clear as that.

Her heart thumped against his hand. “I still love you,” she said, now unable to hold back the tears.

He let go of her and covered his ears. “Stop saying that!”

She grabbed his arms and pulled them down, desperate for him to hear her out. “Then explain why I always run to you when you end up in jail, or why I get torn apart every time I see you with another woman. And if I didn’t love you I’d still be with Ash, and I wouldn’t be standing here crying and scared out of my wits that you won’t forgive me.”

He stared at her for a moment before speaking, his expression now uncertain. “If you loved me you wouldn’t have risked my life.”

“I didn’t know Deano would order a hit.”

“But you know he’s violent. What do you think he wuz gonna do? Congratulate me on fucking his wife?”

“I didn’t think about him at all, all I saw wuz you on top of another woman, and all I wanted wuz that woman to be me.”

He jerked his arms away from her. “How do you think I felt when Ash kissed you? But I didn’t go humiliating him or risking his life like you did to Carly.”

“I didn’t think!” she screamed, frustration now taking over. “And he’s your brother, you love him, whereas I HATE Carly for goin’ anywhere near you!” She pulled off her blouse and threw it at him, her hands shaking badly. She needed to shock him into silence, because she couldn’t handle much more of his venom, plus she was willing to do anything to get him, to make him want her as much as she wanted him, and if it meant stripping down to nothing then she’d do it, because he was already stripping her nerves raw.

His eyes widened as she started unhooking her bra. “What the hell’re you doin’?”

“Proving I love you.”

“By stripping?”

“No, by explaining to you what I did last night?” She dropped the bra.

“What did you do?” he croaked, his eyes riveted to her breasts.

She pushed down her skirt, her heart beating so fast she swore he could hear it. “I got into bed with you.”

His eyes flicked up to hers. “What?”

“You heard me, and do you wanna know why I did it?”

“Why?”

She dropped her knickers. “I wanted to get a taste of what it would be like to sleep with you every night.”

“We fucked?”

“No, I meant to sleep literally.”

“But, you weren’t there this morning.”

“I snuck out, even though I didn’t want to leave, cos you felt perfect against my body.” She touched her breasts. “I pressed these up against your back.” She lowered one hand to her crotch. “While this throbbed for you. I wanted to wake you, but I didn’t, cos I need you sober so you would remember everything you did to me. I want your mind as well as your body.”

He snorted. “Did you get that stupid line out of one of your romance novels? Cos it’s shite.”

“If you wanna mock me, then stop looking at my breasts.”

His eyes shot up to her face. She took another step forward and reached for his zipper, the large bulge in his pants giving her confidence.

He stumbled backwards, almost falling over his suitcase. “What do you think you’re doin’?”

“You know the answer to that.”

He shook his head. “You abused my trust.”

“Then abuse me in return.” She grabbed his waistband and unzipped his pants, surprised to find no underwear.

“Beth, no.”

She lowered herself to the floor and took him inside her mouth, his groans telling her yes. Watching his face intently, she ran her tongue up his cock and flicked the hood. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back, his visage a portrait of sex. She grasped his cock and started twisting it as she sucked on him hungrily.

“Deeper,” he said.

She breathed in through her nose and took in more of him, trying to relax her throat as he began to move his hips.

“Deeper.”

Unable to, she bobbed her head up and down, hoping he’d like that instead. With a loud groan, he grabbed her head and started pumping her mouth, almost making her choke. She forced her head back for a breath, then before she knew what was happening, she was tugged up and shoved onto the bed. He kicked off his pants and climbed on top of her, his expression overflowing with lust. Overcome with happiness, she grabbed his butt and pushed up against him, rubbing herself against his hard cock. She squealed as her wrists were wrenched away and clamped over her head.

“Don’t touch,” he growled.

He lowered his head and latched onto her breast, sucking it so hard she thought he was going to eat her. She screamed as he bit down. He lapped the mark, then moved to her other breast, pulling at her nipple with his teeth. She knew he was a biter from the incident at the party, Carly’s squeals having woken her up.

Aching to touch him, she tried to free her wrists. He squeezed them tighter, making her gasp, “Dante, you’re hurting me.”

“Payback’s a bastard.”

He bit down again, pulling out another scream. Pain shot through her body, turning into pleasure below. She arched up into him, not sure if she could take much more, but desperately wanting to.

He replaced his mouth with his fingers and squeezed her nipples hard, his smile telling her he was savouring her squirming under him. “Who would’ve guessed that sweet li’l Bethy-babe’s a pain junkie.”

She shook her head, not wanting to admit anything to him, or more likely too scared to, because she knew he’d give her what she wanted—and more.

His smiled widened, telling her he didn’t believe her. He let go of her nipples and traced her body with his mouth, kissing and biting a path down-under. Her eyes almost shot out of their sockets as his mouth started attacking her below. She grabbed his head and thrust upwards, the feeling so frigging good.

He knocked her hands away. “I said, don’t touch!”

She went still, too shocked to do anything else.

He moved up over her body, the glint in his eyes scaring her. His top lip curled up into what she could only describe as an evil grin; then without warning he flipped her over, planting her face down. “You really want me to abuse you?” he whispered into her ear, giving it a lick.

She moved her face to the side, barely able to get out a “Yes.” No. Yes. No, fuck yes!

“Then let’s see whether you’re all talk, whore.” He grabbed her hair and twisted her head around, bruising her lips with his own.

She pulled away. “Don’t call me a whore!”

“Okay, princess.”

“Don’t make fun of me either!” She tried to turn around, but couldn’t.

“I can do whatever I like...” His hand edged under her breast, cupping it roughly, “...cos you do. You thought you could control me with sex, but it ain’t working, is it?” He squeezed harder.

“Ouch! You’re hurting me.”

“And you like it.” He slackened his grip, then brushed her hair aside and kissed her neck. “Gentle and rough,” he whispered against her skin. “Soft and hard, my princess, my whore.” He kissed down her spine, his hands caressing her butt, then he smacked it, making her yelp. He kissed the ache away, then moved a hand lower. He said something else, but she lost all concentration as his talented fingers started playing with her entrance. She wriggled about, desperately trying to get him to push them inside. Instead, he pushed her legs apart and moved back up, replacing his fingers with his cock. “Do you really want me?”

Oh God, “Yes.”

“Even the bad?”

“Yes, yes.”

Without warning, he shoved his cock inside of her, pushing to the hilt. Heaven and Hell shot through her all at once, the feeling far too intense. She screamed as he pistoned in and out of her, the friction sending her over the edge. It was how she’d imagined he’d do her, taking her roughly as he forced his way in, the pain adding to the fantasy, and making her come harder than she ever had before.

He froze on top of her, then pulled out. He said something, but she couldn’t take it in, the orgasm still swamping her mind and making her body shudder. Loud swearing started up behind her, snapping her out of her sexual high. Lazily, she turned around, surprised to find Dante staring down at her, and looking like he was about to cry.

“What’s wrong?” she said, not understanding why he was upset.

“I did it like that sick bastard.”

“Who?”

He bent over as though he was going to throw up. “Please forgive me.”

“There’s nuthin’ to forgive—”

He jerked upwards. “Yes, there is! I fuck everything up. Everything!” he yelled, his emotions controlling his body like a puppet master.

She pushed off the bed, almost falling over the tangle of clothes at her feet.

He reached out, then whipped his hands back as though he was afraid to touch her. “Get dressed.”

“But, I wanna stay—”

“No, you hafta leave.”

“Why?”

“I’m sick; go before I hurt you again.” He went to his knees, searching through the clothes on the floor. “I need my meds, I need my meds...”

Wanting to calm him, Beth bobbed down and placed a hand on his back. He smacked it away, causing her to fall onto her butt. He started talking fast in Croatian, the words “I’m sorry” the only ones she recognised. He refocused on the floor, getting more and more worked up when he couldn’t find what he was looking for. Not taking her eyes of him, she started dressing, wondering again whether he was on drugs.

Dante’s focus shifted back to her as she pulled on her skirt. “I scare every chick away.”

She stopped doing up the zip.

He got to his feet. “Go on then, run away like everyone else.”

“I’m not running,” she said, reaching out for him.

He backed into the cabinet. “Don’t touch me.”

“But, I wanna hold you.”

“No, get dressed and go away.”

“But, you just said—”

“Leave!”

She grabbed her blouse and pulled it on. “I needa know you’ll be alright.”

“Just go.”

She backed towards the doorway, then hesitated. “Will you be alright?”

He picked up a CD and threw it at the wall. “Go, dammit!”

She turned and ran down the passage, heading for the dining-room. She grabbed the phone off the breakfast bar, quickly dialling Sledge’s number. The front door opened, making her drop the phone.

Ash stepped inside, looking shocked to see her. “What the fuck are you doin’ ’ere?” His eyes lowered to her ripped blouse. “For Christ’s sake, you can’t help yourself, can you?” A crash came from Dante’s room, snapping Ash’s head up. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Dante’s gone nuts.”

Beth followed Ash down the passage. They stopped in Dante’s doorway, both of them watching as Dante trashed his bedroom.

“What are you doin’?!” Ash hollered.

Dante looked over at Ash, his eyes frantic. “Someone stole my meds.”

“I told ja not to take meth.”

“Not meth, you fuckwit, meds.”

Ash shot across the room, shoving Dante onto the bed. Dante went to punch Ash, but got an arm clamped across his throat instead. “Stay!” Ash yelled.

Dante tried to push Ash away. “You bastard, I bet you took ’em. Give ’em back!”

Ash pressed down, making Dante choke. “I didn’t take any of your shit!”

Beth grabbed Ash around the waist, trying to pull him away from Dante. “Get offa him!”

Ash slackened the pressure on Dante and glared back at her. “What the fuck did you do to him?”

“Nuthin’,” she said, backing off.

“I doubt it with him naked and you half dressed.”

“He thought he hurt me, but he didn’t. I think he might be on drugs.”

“Gimme back my meds!” Dante yelled. “The doc gave ’em to me.”

Ash looked back at Dante. “What’re you talking ’bout?”

Dante started cursing.

“Stop swearing, so I can bloody understand you.”

“I need my medication.”

“What medication?”

“Bipolar.”

Ash’s back went rigid. “Why didn’t cha tell me this sooner?”

“I’m telling ya now, so give ’em back.”

“But, I didn’t take ’em.”

“Then who did?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll get you some new ones.”

Dante thanked Ash, his voice almost hysterical, then he started babbling non-stop, saying he hated whoever had stolen his meds and that the person should burn in Hell, followed by a torrent of swearwords.

“I can’t let you go until you calm down,” Ash said.

Dante stopped swearing, his tone changing in an instant from angry to apologetic as he begged Ash to release him, his broken voice making Beth cry.

She wiped at her cheeks. “What’s happening to him?”

“I think he’s having an episode,” Ash said, his expression sad. “Our father used to swear like this when he went off the deep end. And right now you seem to be the trigger, so you better leave.”

Not needing anymore explanation, Beth turned and ran, barely noticing Juliet as she flew through the house, desperate to escape what she had done to Dante—and what he was doing to her now.

20

Corey

Corey lay on the hospital bed with his eyes closed, pretending to sleep. The other patients in the room chatted to their friends or family, comfortable in their familiarity. But all he felt was discomfort, and not only from his badly bruised ribs and sore gut, but from Sledge sitting behind him for the past hour; occasionally prodding his back and asking if he was awake. Corey wished he could talk to him, but couldn’t make himself. He felt humiliated, and worse, scared that Sledge would look at him with disgust.

Sledge prodded his back again. Corey tensed, his nerves raw.

“I saw that,” Sledge said. “You’re awake, aren’t cha?”

Corey remained silent.

“Are you too chicken shit to look at me?”

Yes.

“Well, I ain’t leaving until you do.”

Just go away...

“There’s no use ignoring me, cos this chair is real comfy, I could stay here forever.”

...go away...

“Or are you crying like a li’l girl again?”

“Go away!”

Sledge went silent, then his voice hardened. “Nice, real nice. You ignore your best mate for over an hour cos you’re too much of a pussy to face him.”

Corey fisted the bed-sheet. “You beat up Tyler when he did nuthin’ wrong.”

Sledge sniffed. “Tyler breathing is wrong, and you’re not allowed to see him again.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.” Corey turned over, quickly regretting it. Sledge looked more than pissed. Corey forced himself to continue, “Tyler had nuthin’ to do with what happened to your brothers, so you had no right to hurt him. And what he did with me wuz my idea.” A lie, but Sledge didn’t need any more encouragement to hurt Tyler.

“I had every right!” Sledge shouted.

Corey cringed as the room went silent. “Just go away.”

Sledge leaned forward, his expression vicious. Although Sledge looked nothing like Ash, it was the first time Corey could see the family resemblance—violence their common parent. He’d always known Sledge had a volatile side, but it had never been directed at him before. Not able to handle it, Corey closed his eyes.

“What?” Sledge said. “You can’t even look at me now?”

“Why won’t you go away?”

“I will after you look at me, and tell me why the fuck you went with that worthless piece of shit.”

“No, it’s got nuthin’ to do with you, and stop insulting him.”

“It is when you use my sister, then go off with Tyler to spite me.”

Corey’s eyes shot open. “Why would I go with Tyler to spite you? I told ja he’s got nuthin’ to do with you.” Corey froze as Sledge moved his face within a whisper of his. Sledge’s features softened, his eyes fixated on Corey’s as though he was going to kiss him. Corey held his breath, willing it, then the visage was shattered, Sledge’s features returning to vicious once more.

“If you go near Tyler again, I’ll rip that butt-fucker apart piece by piece. You won’t even recognise him once I’ve finished.”

“You keep away from him, Tyler’s not like his father or uncle.”

“They’re all the same: Pākehā scum.”

“Don’t say that word! And Tyler didn’t use me, he wuz really nice.”

“I bet he wuz. I’m really nice to bitches too when I want them to drop their knickers.”

“I’m not a bitch! And it wuzn’t like that.”

“Bullshit, I bet he got a nice piece of your girly arse. And now I know why you were always showing me it, cos you wanted me to fuck you too.”

Corey screwed up his face, willing himself not to cry. “No, it wuzn’t like that,” he repeated.

“Didja think of me when he pounded you? I bet you called out my name again.” He sneered. “Well, you might as well dream, cos I don’t want anything to do with your faggot arse.”

Corey recoiled. He was wrong. Naf hadn’t made him feel disgusting yesterday, because he hadn’t wanted to stuff himself full of drugs so that he didn’t wake up like he did now. He closed his eyes as the tears started. He couldn’t stand seeing his best mate, the person he loved more than anyone else, hate him.

He heard Sledge grunt, then the chair clattered on the floor. He opened his eyes as Sledge stomped out of the room.

A female voice called out Sledge’s name.

Corey quickly wiped his eyes. “Mum?”

His mother walked into the room. She looked like an older version of Beth, but closer to a sister than a mother, with her unwrinkled complexion, long black hair and slim figure adding to the illusion. Her expression dropped. “Oh, my good Lord, what happened, love?” she said, rushing to his bed.

Corey fidgeted under the covers, not wanting her to know. “I banged into sumpthin’.”

“But your face.”

“I’m not in here cos of that. I fell over and bruised my ribs this morning. The doc just wanted to make sure I wuz alright cos of the cancer.”

“Who hurt your face?”

“I don’t know them, and it looks worse than it feels.”

“Didja inform the police?”

“No, Mum, it wuz just one unlucky punch, I’m already over it.”

“Was it at a party? You know you’re not s’posed to be goin’ to dangerous places—”

“Mum, please stop.”

She frowned, then picked up Sledge’s chair and sat down. She took his hand, running a thumb over the back of it. “I worry ’bout you, love. You’re always gettin’ hurt. You should stop this nonsense and come home.”

“You know why I can’t,” cos Dad hates me being gay. Everyone hates me being gay, but not as much as I do, cos if I wuzn’t I wouldn’t love Sledge so much.

A flash of anger flickered through her eyes. “Your father can move out if he has a problem.”

“I don’t wanna cause trouble, Mum.”

“You’re not, he is.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’ve got my own place now, and at least I’m with Naf.”

“Don’t call your brother names.”

“It’s just a nickname, everyone but you and Dad calls him Naf.”

She shook her head. “I know what it means, so I don’t wanna hear you say it again.”

“Okay, I’m sorry.”

She breathed out. “And what’s wrong with Sledge? Why did he storm out?”

“He’s upset I’m hurt,” Corey lied. His gaze shifted back to the doorway, realising his father was standing there. His old man lifted his chin in an awkward hello, then focused on something down the corridor. Corey used to think he looked like him, but realised once he’d lost the weight the only similarities were their short stature, pale complexion and reddish-brown hair—when he’d had it.

He pulled his beanie over his eyebrows, the only bit of hair that hadn’t fallen out along with his eyelashes. He guessed he was lucky that he still had them, because he’d seen some cancer patients who’d lost everything, followed by their lives.

“Why’s Dad here?” he asked.

“He was concerned about you, love.”

Corey withheld a sneer for his mother’s sake. His father had no concern for him, otherwise he wouldn’t have chucked him out after finding gay porn on his computer, or would have asked him to come back when he’d been diagnosed with cancer.

“What did the doctor say?” his mother continued. “Are you well enough to have radiotherapy tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, and I hope they’re letting you stay overnight, cos you’re looking far too skinny, sweetheart. Apart from today, how’s your stomach been feeling?”

Corey frowned at the name sweetheart, remembering Sledge’s taunt. “It’s fine, and I’m not staying tonight,” he said, wondering where he could go, because there was no way he was going anywhere near Sledge after today.

His mother took his hand. “No, Corey, please stay.”

“I hate hospitals. I’m in here enough as it is.”

“Then move back in with us. I’ll look after you, and will make sure you eat properly.” She moved a hand to his arm. “You’re far too skinny,” she repeated.

Corey looked back at his father, who continued to stare down the corridor. “No, I’ll stay here,” he lied.

“I still want you to reconsider coming home. I know you like being with your friends and brother, but they can’t take care of you like I can.”

“But Dad—”

“I told you my opinions on him, so please come home, I need you there. I’m always worrying ’bout you.”

“I’ll think about it,” he said, feeling guilty, because there was no way he was living with his old man again.

She smiled. “Good boy.” She ran her hand along his arm again. “You look hungry. I’ll get you something to eat.”

“I’m just thirsty. Can you buy me a Coke?”

“Where are your manners?”

“Please.”

“Good boy. But not a Coke, a Sprite will be better on your stomach. I’ll go get you one along with some food. I’ll be back soon.” She got up and left with his father.

Corey grabbed his phone off the bedside cabinet, and scrolled down to Tyler’s number.

Tyler picked up after a few seconds. “You alright, Corey?”

“Got some badly bruised ribs. How’re you?”

“I got a black eye, sore ribs and nose, but at least nothing’s busted. Though, they’re gonna be mad at me at work, cos there’s no way that I can do the photo-shoot now.”

“Photo-shoot?”

“I’m a model.”

Corey swore under his breath, realising he’d probably cost Tyler a shitload of money. “I’m so sorry, man, this is all my fault.”

“No, it’s not; you hurt yourself trying to stop him. I appreciate what you did. Can I visit you? That is, when your prick of a mate isn’t there.”

“Actually...” Corey crossed his fingers. “Would it be alright if you come get me? I need a place to stay.”

“Sure. I can be there in thirty minutes.”

“Thanks, but when you get here make sure I’m alone before you enter. I don’t want anyone finding me, especially Sledge.”

“No problem. And you can stay with me for as long as you like.”

Corey smiled. Man, the guy was nice. “Thanks, Tyler. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re more than welcome. What’s your room number?”

Corey reeled it off, then said bye. Ten minutes later his mother returned with a can of Sprite and an arm full of food that Corey definitely didn’t want to eat.

“Thanks, Mum,” he said, taking the Sprite. His eyes went to the door, looking for his father.

His mother pushed his beanie up, making him grab for it. “Don’t worry, love, I’m not taking it off, it was almost over your eyes.” She glanced at the spot where Corey was staring at. “Your father couldn’t stay. He wanted to pop in to see your great uncle Maxwell. The old fella is worsening, they’re not too sure he has much time left.”

Corey frowned at the mention of his uncle. He liked the old dude. “He could’ve at least said bye—or even hello.”

“I’m sorry, but you know what he’s like.”

Yeah, a homophobic arsehole. Corey opened the can. “I’m tired, Mum. After I finish the drink I wanna sleep. You can go, too.”

“No, I wanna stay with you.”

“There’s no use if I’m sleeping, but we can talk for fifteen minutes if you like.”

“Okay, love.”

Corey took a swig of the Sprite. Once he left with Tyler that was it. He’d had enough. If two of the people he loved couldn’t stand what he was, he didn’t want to see them again. And stuff the radiotherapy; he didn’t give a shit anymore.

21

Sledge

That sleazy bastard had fucked Corey alright. Sledge had seen it in Corey’s expression. God, he wanted to rip Tyler Jones apart for touching, let alone breathing on Corey.

He slammed the car door shut and headed around Juliet’s Hyundai. Considering it was Sunday, he didn’t know why the Joneses’ street was so quiet. Kids were always playing ball sports in his cul-de-sac, getting in the way of cars and being li’l shites.

He pushed open the gate, and glanced over at the neighbouring house as rap music started playing, the only thing giving life to the dead-end street. He bobbed his head up and down in rhythm as his gaze shifted to the broken-down car sitting on the grass. He wondered whether Corey’s dad would like it. It had a good body, solid, with only a bit of rust.

He snapped his attention away from the car, realising he was just prolonging what he had to do. Wondering whether Tyler’s father was home, he pounded on the front door. He’d never dealt with Deano like Ash and Dante had, but had seen the racist prick around town, the guy a poster child for Nazis. He’d also been told the guy was a right psycho, but he didn’t care, because he was most definitely in the mood for a rip-roaring fight.

Someone hollered inside. After several seconds the front door pulled open, revealing an emo girl dressed in black.

“My dad and uncle’s not home,” she said. “Come back later.”

Sledge jammed a boot in the door before she could close it. He’d heard about Kirstin from his cousins Kane and Mick, and they were right, she was hot. “I’m not here for them; I’m looking for my mate Corey Connor.”

She pouted. “My cousin took off with him last night, probably lured him away with booze.” A lopsided grin played across her features. “Though, I would’ve loved to see Tyler get smacked for making a pass at him.”

Sledge tried not to grimace. “Is Tyler home?”

“No, he doesn’t live here anymore.”

I know. “Can I have his address then? Corey hasn’t come back, and I’m gettin’ worried.”

“Well, he won’t be at Tyler’s, I can guarantee that.”

“Can I still have it? Maybe Tyler can tell me when Corey left his place.”

Her brows pulled together. “What’s your name?”

Sledge went silent, not sure whether he should tell her. Well, he could always give her a fake one. He went to open his mouth then stopped as someone let out a loud whoop, accompanied by swearing. Sledge recognised his cousins’ voices. He poked his head through the doorway. “Hey, cuzzie bros, how’s it hanging?”

Kane and Mick looked up from the couch, along with an emo boy. “Sledge!” Kane yelled. “Whatcha doin’ ’ere?”

“Tryna find my mate.” He glanced back at Kirstin. “Can I come in?”

“Sure, no probs.”

Sledge followed her inside as Kane climbed over the couch. He was wearing jeans, a T-shirt with a marijuana symbol and a Rastafarian tam hat, which hid his dreadlocks.

“What’s your mate’s name?” Kane asked.

“Corey Connor. He’s short, skinny and is always wearing a beanie. This chick said he went off with her cuz.”

“Yeah, I warned him ’bout that fag, but I don’t think he got what I wuz saying.”

“Tag! Don’t insult Tyler.” Kirstin punched Kane.

“Ouch!” Kane rubbed his shoulder. “Whatcha do that for, bitch? You call him a flower.”

“I can say what I like, he’s my cousin, but you can’t. And flower is nicer than what you called him.”

“I can call him a lot worse than that.” Kane refocused on Sledge. “Anyway, Corey’s bro said he could take care of himself, and if the butt jockey— Ouch! Stop punching me!”

“Then stop insulting Tyler!” Kirstin yelled.

“He’s not even here, and if the flower...” He poked out his tongue at Kirstin, then returned his attention to Sledge, “...made any moves on your mate, he would’ve gotten smacked. Tyler’s such a lame-o girl when it comes to fighting.”

Kirstin laughed. “Yeah, even I can take him down.”

“That’s cos you’re a nasty bitch who bites.” Kane extended his right hand and pointed to a mark. “Look what she did to me last week. All I did wuz accidentally touch her, and she went nuts.”

“You grabbed my breasts.”

“No, I didn’t. They’re so small I wouldn’t know where to look.”

The guys on the couch started laughing as Kirstin smacked Kane across the head. Kane raised his hands to defend himself. “Stoppit, you crazy bitch! You’re just lucky I don’t hit girls.”

“She ain’t a girl,” emo boy said from the couch. “She’s a woman.”

Kane sniggered. “Only cos you’re still tryna get into her cobwebbed knickers.”

Kirstin whacked Kane again. “You’re a bastard, Tag.”

“Will ya stop that?” Kane fended her off as she tried to punch him. “I wuz just stating a fact.”

Sledge laughed. He’d always liked Kane. He reminded him of Tama, just with less agro and loads more humour. He grabbed Kirstin’s shoulders and pulled her away from his cousin. She squealed and hit out at him.

Sledge let go. “Calm down, babe. I wuzn’t gonna hurt ya, and Kane’s only—”

“It’s Tag,” Kane said.

“Okay, Tag’s just riling ya up cos he fancies you.”

“Hey! I do not,” Kane yelled.

“Tag always insults chicks he likes. He’s been like that since he wuz li’l.”

Kirstin’s irritated expression turned into a smile.

Kane glared at Sledge. “I thought you were on my side.”

Sledge laughed. “Just ribbing ya, cuz.”

“Nah, Tag does like her, he told me,” Mick said from the couch.

Kane’s face dropped. “You bastard!” He clambered over the couch and started punching his brother, who dropped the remote and grabbed Kane in a headlock.

Kirstin rolled her eyes. “Those two are always fighting.” She took Sledge’s arm and led him outside, telling him Tyler’s address.

“Thanks, babe,” Sledge said.

“No probs.” She leaned forward. “Is Mick telling the truth about Tag liking me?”

“Yup, looks like it. But he won’t admit it.”

She bounced on her feet, looking ecstatic. “I can’t wait till my BF hears about this, she’s gonna be so jealous.”

Sledge grinned. He looked around the corner to say bye, but laughed instead. His cousins had already stopped fighting, and were back on the PlayStation, yelling at each other as they punched and kicked their way through the game instead.

Sledge’s gaze shifted to the emo boy. The guy was staring at Kirstin’s arse like he was imagining pounding it. Well, his cousin was in for a bit of competition if he had his sights set on the girl.

Sledge thanked Kirstin, then headed for Juliet’s car, ready to pay Tyler a visit.

***

Sledge sat in Juliet’s car, eating a steak and cheese pie as he eyed up Tyler’s crib through the windscreen. It was a terraced apartment with a fancy-schmancy garden out front and an awesome view of the Waitemata Harbour that must’ve cost the cocksucker a lifetime of blowjobs.

He took the last bite of pie, wiped his face, then got out, and made a beeline for the front door. When no one answered his knocking, he walked around the side, scaled the fence and climbed down a tree.

Once his boots hit solid ground, he eyed-up the backyard. Trees surrounded it, giving the property a degree of privacy. An entertainment area with stand-alone lighting, a barbecue, a wooden table with chairs and a spa pool took up most of the space. At the back of the apartment, vine-like flowers hung from the patio overhang. Sledge frowned. He bet Corey was impressed with it, because he was.

He jumped onto the patio and gave the sliding-door a tug, surprised when it opened. He poked his head inside, wondering whether anyone was home, possibly in the shower, which was why no one had answered the door. He stood still for a moment, listening for any sounds. When he couldn’t hear anything, he stepped inside the lounge and sized up the room, again impressed. A tan leather couch hugged one corner while a huge flat-screen telly almost took up a whole wall. He glanced to his left at an African wooden sculpture, the only thing he thought was ugly in the room. He poked it, wondering why the hell anyone would buy something like that. His gaze shifted to the elaborate Asian cabinet next to it, which he liked a hell of a lot more. He ran his fingers over the blue and white pottery lining the cabinet, curious at how much they cost. He grinned. If Tama had come, the place would’ve been emptied in no time at all. His smile dropped at the thought of his dead mate. He loosened his shoulders and shook out the tension, pushing Tama to the back of his mind. He was here for Corey, because there was no way he was losing another mate.

He poked his head into the next room. A King-sized bed sat at its centre with a body hidden underneath its duvet. He walked around the bed and pulled back the sheet, ready to threaten Tyler, but froze, shocked to see Corey instead. Corey lay on his side, wearing only his boxers and beanie.

Sledge dropped the sheet, upset that Corey had gone back to Tyler. How long had Corey known Tyler for? Had he been seeing him since that party a few months back? But, Corey had slept with his sister. Why would he do that if he was going with Tyler all this time?

He breathed in, feeling sickened by his mate being here. Why would Corey let that sleazy bastard use him? Corey was too good for Tyler. His gaze shifted to the small bottle of lube on the bedside table. He swore under his breath and raised a hand to cover his eyes. God, why was Corey doing this to him?

“What’re you doin’ ’ere?”

Sledge uncovered his eyes and looked down at Corey. “More like, what’re you doin’ ’ere?”

Corey sat up. “Gettin’ away from you, so piss off!”

“No, you’re coming with me,” Sledge said, grabbing Corey’s arms.

“Lemme go!”

Sledge yanked Corey to his feet. “If you don’t I’ll beat the shit outta Tyler!”

“Don’t cha dear touch him. He’s done nuthin’ but help me.”

Sledge let go and batted the bottle of lube at Corey. “Yeah, he’s obviously helped himself to you.”

“Fuck off, you bastard!” Corey picked up the bottle and threw it at Sledge’s face.

Sledge swore as it connected with his cheek.

“Why can’t you leave me alone?!” Corey yelled.

Sledge shoved Corey’s chest, knocking his mate onto the bed.

Corey winced. “Are ya gonna beat me up, like you did Tyler?”

“No,” Sledge said, feeling guilty. “You threw that bottle.”

“Cos you’re treating me like shit! I can’t help the way I am. I didn’t ask to be gay, or to have cancer, or for a gay-bashing mate who finds me disgusting.”

“I don’t find you disgusting.”

“Yes, you do. You basically said it at the hospital.” Corey pushed off the bed. “Or you will soon. Do ya know what I wuz thinking ’bout while Tyler fucked me?”

Sledge covered his ears. “Don’t say that!”

Corey yanked one of Sledge’s hands down. “You! Tyler’s fuckin’ gorgeous, but all I could think about wuz you. It took everything to hold myself together so I didn’t shout out your name again.”

Sledge wrenched his wrist free. He couldn’t understand why Corey wanted him. Corey was right, Tyler was gorgeous, and he was fucking ugly like Juliet.

Corey grabbed Sledge’s T-shirt and lifted it up, placing a hand on his stomach. “Do you know how much I’ve wanted to touch you?”

Sledge froze, not sure what to do. Corey was staring up at him with a slight smile, his expression unsettling.

“So fuckin’ bad it hurts,” Corey said. “I’ve been jacking off most nights picturing you wearing nuthin’ and with your big cock hard for me. And you’re right; I did set up that threesome so I could watch you. I still daydream ’bout you ramming that chick and wishing it wuz me,” Corey said, brushing a hand over Sledge’s crotch.

Sledge jumped backwards.

Corey moved forward, backing him against the window. “What? Is my touch that repulsive?”

Sledge breathed out. Corey could never be repulsive. He was... For fuck’s sake, he shouldn’t be looking at his mate like this, shouldn’t like Corey’s touch or be imagining what it would be like to take him from behind. It was sick. Girls did it for him, not guys. But Corey was ... different. Yeah, and if anything Corey was a lot cuter than some of the chicks he’d done, and right now he looked so damned fuckable. Maybe it would be alright, just as long as no one found out... No! He was his mate, nothing more.

Corey smiled. “Why’re you lookin’ scared, Sledge? You should smack me over cos I’m just the same as Tyler.”

Sledge opened his mouth, then closed it. Corey wasn’t the same, he wasn’t girly like Tyler, but he wasn’t masculine either. He didn’t know how to describe him. Other than he was just Corey: the person who was always there, who smoked weed with him, laughed at his stupid jokes, watched porn with him... Oh God, that’s why Corey had said it was alright to wank next to him, that other guys did it too. Man, he was a moron, how could he not have known Corey was gay?

“What will it take for you to hit me?” Corey said, moving his body closer.

Sledge shook his head. “Don’t.”

Corey grabbed Sledge’s head.

Sledge pushed Corey’s hands away. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Corey grimaced. “You already have.”

“You threw the bottle first.”

“No, your words, you idiot.” Corey placed a hand on Sledge’s cheek. Sledge jerked his head to the side. “Go on, hit me,” Corey said.

“No.”

Corey grabbed Sledge’s crotch.

Sledge smacked Corey’s hand away. “Don’t touch me!”

Corey moved up against Sledge, his whole body pressing against Sledge’s. Sledge shoved him away, causing Corey to yelp.

“Shit! You alright?” Sledge said.

“No.” Corey grabbed Sledge’s head and yanked it down, planting a kiss on his lips.

Sledge stood still, the kiss taking him by surprise.

Corey let go. “You wanna hit me now, don’t cha?”

Fuck, he did, his mind screaming at him to pound the little bastard, to prove that he didn’t like what Corey had done. Sledge grabbed Corey and pushed him against the window, grinding his thumbs into his mate’s shoulders. “You wanna kiss me so bad that you’re willing to get a beating? Or do you just want an excuse to leave me?”

Looking pained, Corey bit his bottom lip. “I don’t care anymore.”

Sledge’s gaze moved to Corey’s mouth. His grip slackened, then before he could stop himself, he leaned down and kissed him.

22

Corey

Corey went stiff, and not just in one place, because, God, he’d never thought this could ever happen. Sledge’s hands moved to Corey’s face, cupping it gently as he continued to kiss him oh so fucking perfectly. Corey snapped out of his shock and kissed him back with all he had. His excitement ramped up a hundred fold as Sledge began to harden against his stomach.

Still kissing Sledge, Corey inched his boxers down and dropped them. Trying to control his shaking hands, he started fumbling with Sledge’s belt. He unzipped Sledge’s pants and grabbed his cock, ready to explode from just holding it.

Sledge pulled back from the kiss and hit Corey’s arm, making him let go. “Don’t touch me!”

“Ouch, whatcha do that for?” Corey said, shaking out his arm. “You grabbed me first.”

“No, I didn’t, and I didn’t touch your cock.”

Corey’s hand moved to his own. “Then bloody return the favour.”

Sledge’s eyes widened. He quickly turned to face the wardrobe and started doing up his zipper. Corey reached around Sledge’s waist.

Sledge spun around. “I said, no. Get dressed, we’re goin’.”

Corey stepped closer, backing Sledge into the wardrobe door. “I’m not leaving until you accept that you wanted me just now.”

Sledge spluttered. “No, I didn’t. I’m into chicks.”

Corey looked down at Sledge’s pants. “Well, your hard-on says it wants to be in me.”

Blushing, Sledge covered himself with his hands.

“You were just as turned on as I wuz, but you’re too ‘chicken shit’,” Corey said, using Sledge’s words from the hospital, “to admit it.”

“Am not, I already said I like chicks.”

“I didn’t say you didn’t, but you also get a massive boner for my ‘girly arse’.” He grinned as Sledge’s face turned even redder. He’d never seen his mate blush before today, and was enjoying it, especially since it meant that Sledge liked him in ways he never thought possible. And if he kept on pushing, then maybe he could get Sledge to react the same way as before.

Corey reached for Sledge’s pants again.

Sledge swatted Corey’s hand away. “Stop touching me! And I only like you as a mate.”

“Mates, eh? Would ja stick your tongue down my bro’s or Tama’s throat like you did mine?”

“No!”

“Then we’re more than mates.”

“Okay! I got carried away, but it wuz a mistake.”

Corey shoved Sledge in the chest. “No, it wuzn’t!”

“Stop pushing me.”

Corey shoved harder. “Fuckin’ admit it! You wanted me.”

“Only as a mate.”

“Bullshit! Admit it!” Corey clenched a fist, willing to pummel it out of Sledge.

“Christ, Corey, calm down, man. I’m sorry, it wuz my fault. Can’t we just forget ’bout it?”

“No fuckin’ way! And if ya don’t admit it, I’m gonna stay with Tyler, and you can piss off.”

“Stop being stupid, Corey.”

“I’m not being stupid, you are! I’m not the one too scared to admit I wanna make love with you, and I know you want it, cos you don’t kiss someone like that and don’t mean it.”

“I got carried away, okay, but there’s no way in hell I’m gonna fuck you. It just ain’t right two guys together.”

“You don’t even believe in hell, you’re an atheist.”

“Don’t be a smart cunt, you know what I mean.”

“I’m not a smart cunt; all I wanna be is your cunt.”

“Stoppit! I’m not gay!”

“Then you’re bi.”

“No, I’m not!”

“You’re a liar, you got hard.”

“You made me.”

Corey screamed, “That’s the point, you moron!”

“You’re twisting my words,” Sledge said, covering his face with his hands.

Corey grabbed Sledge’s wrists. “Look at me.”

Sledge shook his head.

“Please, Sledge.”

Sledge lowered his hands, his expression devastated.

Corey continued to hold him, encouraged that at least Sledge wasn’t shaking him off. “I know it’s tough admitting you feel sumpthin’ for me, I went through this too, cos I really didn’t wanna feel these things for you, especially since I didn’t think you’d ever return ’em. And I didn’t wanna like guys either, all I wanted wuz to fit in. But I wuz wrong, cos that’s not how God made me, cos I do believe in Him no matter how much I pretend I don’t. I’m sick of hiding who I am from you. This is me; I’m a stupid God-bothering gay who loves you more than anything in this world and the next.”

Sledge pulled a face. “I love you too, but only as a friend.”

“Stop lying, cos you know we’re more than friends now. You can’t take that kiss back.”

“I can’t give ya anything more than that. I just can’t. What will our mates say? Our families? Oh shit, Ash... He wouldn’t be able to handle me doin’ a dude.”

“Why the fuck should I care what he thinks? You shouldn’t either, cos he’s an arsehole to you. And I don’t give a toss ’bout what anyone else says either. If they can’t handle it, they can take a flying leap for all I care.”

“But, what about kids? You can’t give me them.”

Corey exhaled loudly. “Now you’re just looking for excuses, cos I know you don’t like kids.”

“But, I—”

Corey shook Sledge’s arms. “I love you, and all I care ’bout is being with you. You must care ’bout me too, otherwise why do you keep coming after me? And shit, what happens if the radiotherapy fails?” Because if Sledge would have him he was definitely getting it. “So, I’m gonna take what I can get now, cos I might be dead in a few months.”

“Don’t say that. Your treatment’s goin’ better than expected.”

“For now it is, but I feel sick all the time. It’s just...” Corey looked down at Sledge’s hand then brought it to his lips and kissed the ring finger, “...your friendship isn’t enough anymore. I need your love to get through this.”

Sledge turned his head away from Corey, his mate’s reaction feeling worse than a kick to the gut. Corey stared at Sledge, shocked by his cruelty. No, he was fucking fooling himself, because he’d always known that Sledge was a selfish cunt, he just didn’t want to see it, or more likely, he didn’t care about it up until now.

“What? You’re gonna ignore me now?” Corey glared at him. “Well, deal with it, cos I know you feel sumpthin’...”

Someone sniffed on his right. Corey stopped talking and looked in the same direction as Sledge. Tyler stood in the doorway, wiping his nose and crying.

Corey’s heart dropped. “Oh God, Tyler, I’m so sorry,” he said, letting go of Sledge.

“My uncle’s dead cos of his brother!” Tyler shouted. “And you bring him into my home?”

“What the hell are you talking ’bout?” Sledge said. “My brother wuz attacked by your uncle, not the other way round.”

Tyler wiped his eyes. “The cops found my uncle with his throat slit on your brothers’ property.”

“You’re a liar!” Sledge rushed Tyler, knocking him to the floor.

“No, Sledge!” Corey grabbed Sledge’s arm.

Sledge yanked free and turned on Corey, his face furious. “He’s spewing shit ’bout my family and you’re defending him?”

“He doesn’t deserve to be attacked,” Corey said.

Sledge turned back to Tyler. “Well, if what you say is true, then it’s ’bout time your prick of an uncle got what he deserved.”

Tyler jumped up and went for Sledge. Sledge knocked Tyler onto the bed, then raised another fist. Corey pushed himself in between them. “Leave him alone!”

Sledge shoved Corey into Tyler. “Some fuckin’ friend you are! All that bullshit ’bout loving me, then this faggot turns up and you instantly side with him. Well, if you care more ’bout him then stay here, cos I don’t ever wanna see you again!” He took off out of the room.

Corey went to follow, but stopped in the doorway, Tyler’s sobbing catching his attention. He stood for a moment, not sure who to go to, then turned back to Tyler, knowing Sledge was wrong about who he cared more for. But he couldn’t leave Tyler like this, not when the guy had helped him, got bashed for him, and was now crying so hard it was making Corey want to protect him.

Corey sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around Tyler, whispering, “I’ll look after you.” Tyler leaned into him, making him melt. He lay down, pulling Tyler along with him, knowing he wasn’t leaving anytime soon, no matter how much he wanted to run after Sledge.

23

Ash

Ash was sitting next to his brother in the doctor’s waiting room, while Juliet was on Dante’s other side, quiet as a mouse, probably still shocked from having seen Dante stark raving mad as well as naked. Dante had calmed down about five minutes after Beth had left, to the point that Ash was able to get him dressed and to the doctor’s without much trouble.

“When were you diagnosed as bipolar?” Ash asked, making Dante jump in his seat. They hadn’t spoken much since leaving the house. Ash wondered whether Dante was embarrassed, because his brother was doing everything to avoid looking at him.

“When I wuz thirteen. I had a major meltdown, so Dad took me to the doctor’s.” Dante started fidgeting with the hem on his hoodie. Ash watched Dante’s hands shake, feeling bad he hadn’t known, but then again, after their mother had been killed they’d gone to live with different people: Ash with their cousin, Dante with their father, while their grandparents had taken in the twins. Chaz had torn their family apart in more ways than one.

“What caused the meltdown?” Ash said.

“Lavinia.”

“As in Tiana’s best friend?”

“Yeah, I thought I loved her, but like every female she left me.”

“She wuz sixteen, you were thirteen, it wuz gonna happen. It wuz amazing you even got her in the first place.”

Dante shrugged, still picking at his hoodie. “I didn’t see it that way.”

“Still, that wuz ten years ago. How come you didn’t tell me you were bipolar? It’s not exactly a surprise with the old man being it.”

“I didn’t want cha thinking I wuz a nut-job.”

“I wouldn’t think that.”

“Well, it’s how you treat Dad.”

Ash exhaled. “I don’t mean to, plus he’s so fuckin’ agro.”

Dante made a derisive sound. “And we’re not?”

“Father’s more so.”

“I hate it when you call him that. Why can’t you just say Dad?”

“That title is earned.”

Dante let go of his hoodie and looked up, annoyance creasing his brow. “He really tried to make things up to you, but you never forgive shit.”

“That’s easy for you to say, cos he didn’t used to beat the crap out of you.”

“He never hurt you after he got treatment and that wuz over ten years ago.”

“Which is why I’m polite to him.”

“More like cold.”

“You call it whatever you like, but as far as I’m concerned Hunter’s my dad.”

“No, he’s not, he’s just a cousin.”

“He’s way more than a cousin; he treated me more like a son than Father ever did.”

“Stop calling him Father!”

The waiting room went quiet, making Ash feel uncomfortable. “Look, I understand you’re close to...” Father “...him, and I’m sorry I can’t connect in the same way, but it’s just how things are.”

“But it hurts him.”

“Oh, boo-fuckin’-hoo. What he did to me wuz child abuse, he’s lucky I even look at him.”

“And you beating the crap outta Sledge wuzn’t abuse?”

Ash raised a finger. “I wuz an innocent kid when Father beat me up, Sledge wuz a fully grown shithead who got returned what he dealt to my mate. Big difference.”

“What Sledge did wuz wrong, but what you did made things worse. He barely talks to you now, like you barely talk to Dad. Do ya like him looking at you the same way you used to look at Dad?”

Ash clenched his hands. No, he bloody hated seeing fear in Sledge’s eyes, but it still wasn’t the same, Sledge wasn’t an innocent kid. “You keep your fuckin’ opinions to yourself, cos you’re lucky I’m even speaking to you after what you did, let alone breathing the same air.”

Dante’s face twitched. He lowered his gaze and started pulling at the loose threads again, mumbling he was sorry in Croatian.

Ash loosened his hands, then looked over as the doctor called out Dante’s name. Ash got to his feet, along with Dante and Juliet.

“Stay here, Juliet,” Ash said, following Dante into the doctor’s room.

The doctor closed the door as Ash settled into the seat next to Dante. “How can I help you?”

“My brother lost his medication, he needs more,” Ash answered.

“I didn’t lose it, someone stole it,” Dante said.

The doctor sat down behind the desk and focused on the computer screen. “Sorry, I’m not his regular doctor, so give me a second or two to check what he’s on. Oh, okay, here it is, looks like he’s due for a visit next week anyway, so I’ll do a check-up first, then the prescription. Dante, can you please hop up onto the bed.”

Dante kicked off his boots and did as instructed. After the doctor had finished doing the check-up, Dante slumped back into his chair, looking embarrassed. “Can we get my prescription now?” he asked.

“Yes, just give me a moment.” The doctor typed away on his computer, then retrieved the prescription from the printer and held it out to Dante. “You should also report the person who stole your medication to the police.”

Shaking his head, Dante took the prescription. “I don’t like the police, they’re pricks. They’ll pro’bly arrest me just for looking at them funny.”

The doctor smiled. “That’s your condition talking.”

“No, he really does hate the police,” Ash said. “The Claydon station is like a second home for him, cos he’s always gettin’ drunk and causing trouble.”

“Alcohol and medication don’t go well together,” the doctor said.

Dante shrugged. “Booze relaxes me.”

“Still, it’s not recommended.”

“Whatever, I’ll do what I like.” Dante got to his feet and headed out the door.

Ash followed Dante, his brother’s words pissing him off. Juliet jumped up and ran after them as they exited the building. Ash swiped the prescription out of Dante’s hand and entered the pharmacy, sick of Dante’s attitude.

“Oi!” Dante grabbed his arm. “Gimme my prescription.”

Ash spun around in the middle of the store and jabbed a finger at Dante. “I’ll do what I like,” he said, mimicking Dante’s words. “That’s your fuckin’ motto isn’t it? You see Carly, stuff the fact she’s married, bang, you do her, then you decide you wanna do Beth. Who’s next? Tiana?”

“Fuck off! She’s like a sister to me.”

“When you’re drunk you don’t know who you fuck.”

“I wuzn’t drunk with Beth.”

Ash clenched his right hand, feeling like planting it in Dante’s face.

Juliet stepped between them. “Dante, let Ash get the prescription while we look at sunglasses.”

Dante eyeballed Ash for a moment, then spun around and headed for the sunglasses’ stand with Juliet. Ash watched his brother’s back, wondering whether he would ever trust him again. He sighed, then went to get the prescription.

A forty-something shop assistant with huge breasts watched him as he neared the counter. He ignored her smile and passed over the prescription. She scanned it, then handed it onto the pharmacist, quickly returning to Ash.

“You two Rata men look so much alike,” she said.

Yeah, like he hadn’t heard that before. “He’s dumber looking.”

She giggled. “Are you Ash or Dante?”

“Ash.”

She angled her head to look at Dante, then returned her gaze to Ash, her expression puzzled. “But I thought the text was of Dante, not you.”

Ash rolled his eyes, realising she was talking about Dante’s nude photo. He was sick of explaining to chicks that it wasn’t him. “It is of him.”

“But the guy in the pic didn’t have a face tattoo.”

“Or a neck tattoo,” Ash said, pointing to his. “Dante got the face tat a few months after the photo wuz taken.”

“Oh, that’s why.” She smiled. “Still, the photo looks just like you.” Her gaze ran down Ash’s body. “You free tonight?”

“Sorry, I’m taken.”

She glanced at his left hand. “No ring; can’t be that taken.”

“Just got back with my son’s mother.”

She pouted. “Lucky woman.”

“Nah, I’m the lucky one.”

“Is he taken?” she asked, looking over at Dante.

“No, cos he’s nuts,” Ash said, feeling bad the second the words came out of his mouth. Maybe Dante was right not to tell him.

She grinned wide. “I like nuts.”

A smile broke through Ash’s foul mood. “Not his kind.”

The woman turned to the pharmacist as he approached her, the old fella giving her a dirty look as well as Dante’s medication. Taking the box, she slipped it into a paper bag then wrote on the outside. “If you ever wanna pose for a sex-text make sure you send it to this,” she said, passing the bag over. “Or give it to your brother if you’re not interested.”

Grinning, Ash glanced down at the name Nina and her phone number. “I’ll definitely pass it onto him.”

Her face lit up. “Really? Cool, thanks, Ash. And if you ever come in here again ask for me.”

Ash nodded, then headed over to Dante. “Oi, shithead.” He held out the medicine, making sure that Dante’s noticed Nina’s handwriting.

Dante took the package. “Why’s there a name and number on here?”

Ash gestured at the shop assistant, who appeared to be getting a strip torn off her by the irate pharmacist. “She’s placed an order for a nude picture of you. Make sure you text it to her phone,” he said, then walked out the door, smirking at Dante’s shout of “You bastard!”

Ash headed for Corey’s car, half expecting to get smacked from behind, but not caring. He made it to the car without any injury, turning to find a highly aggravated Dante glaring at him. Juliet unlocked the car and forcibly steered Dante towards the door. Dante flicked Ash the finger, then got into the back seat, kicking Ash’s seat when he got in. Ash’s smirk stayed in place. He knew he shouldn’t be trying to antagonise Dante after his brother’s flip-out, but fucked if he could bring himself to care after their argument.

His phone started ringing. His smirk changed into a smile when he saw Tiana’s number. “Kia ora,” he answered.

“Ash...” Tiana said, crying. “You hafta come over now.”

Ash’s smile dropped. “What’s wrong? Is Angelo alright?”

Her crying picked up, the line going silent for a few seconds, then she answered, pushing Ash’s heart back down his throat. “He’s okay, but you hafta come over right away.”

“I can be there in thirty minutes tops. What’s happened?”

“Your—” The phone-line went dead.

Ash swore, his mind now racing, trying to figure out what could’ve happened.

“Is everything alright?” Juliet asked, attempting to get the car started. The engine whined and complained, needing a good kick up the rear like its absent owner. Juliet revved it again, getting it started this time.

“Tiana wuz crying, and hung up mid-word.”

“You want me to drive you there?”

“No, drop me home so I can take Dante’s car. This one’s too slow.”

“Sure.” Juliet headed out of the car park and onto Tiri Road.

Ash’s phone went off again. He pulled it out, surprised that it was Sledge. “What do ya want?” he said, the discomfort he always felt with his baby brother creeping back in. His conversation with Dante came to mind, and regardless of whether he thought Sledge deserved what he got, he still felt awkward and guilty. He wondered whether his father felt the same way with him.

“Where are you?” Sledge asked.

“On the way home with Juliet and Dante.”

“Don’t go there. The place is swarming with pigs.”

Ash frowned. “Why?”

“Len Jones wuz found stuffed inside Angelo’s old playhouse with his throat slit.”

“Stop the car!” Ash hollered as Juliet went to turn onto Pleasant Parade.”

She stomped on the brake, causing everyone to jerk forward. “What’s wrong?”

Ash ignored her. “Are there any cops near you right now?” he asked Sledge.

“No, I’m out the back of Mr. Murphy’s place, but there’s one inside with the old dude.”

“What do ya know ’bout the murder?”

“Someone called the pigs, saying they saw Dante enter the property after Len, then shouting and banging started up.”

Ash’s stomach dropped, now knowing why Dante had lost his head. He turned around and hollered at Dante in the back seat, “Why the fuck didja kill Len Jones for?!”

Dante’s eyes widened. “I didn’t kill him.”

“Bullshit! That’s why you flipped out, you lying sonofabastard.”

“But I didn’t, I haven’t seen him in months.”

“The cops found him in Angelo’s playhouse with his throat slit. They got a call saying that you were seen entering the property after him.”

“They’re lying! Someone’s setting me up.”

Ash pointed the phone at Dante. “Or you’re lying.”

“I didn’t do it! And if I wanted to top Len I wouldn’t bloody hide him on our property, and I definitely wouldn’t have used a knife after what happened to Mum. You should know that.”

Although Ash knew Dante’s words made sense, he still couldn’t shake the feeling that his brother wasn’t being completely honest. But regardless of whether Dante was innocent or not, Ash needed to protect him.

“This is what’s gonna happen,” Ash said. “Juliet, you’re gonna drop me off at Tiana’s, then take Dante to Craven’s. I’ll phone Saul now, giving him a rundown on what’s goin’ on. Once I check Tiana’s fine, I’ll go to the cops—”

“You still there?” Sledge yelled through the phone.

Ash put it back to his ear. “Yeah, what?”

“Stay clear of the pigs until I get some more info outta them.”

“Okay, but call me as soon as you do.”

“Most definitely, and Ash...”

“Yeah?”

“Stay safe. I... I love you.” Sledge hung up, leaving Ash clinging onto the phone, his brother’s words taking him by surprise.

“You alright, Ash?” Juliet asked.

“Um, yeah,” he said, hanging up. He looked back at Dante, who narrowed his eyes at him. “Don’t worry, bro,” Ash said. “I’ll sort this out.”

Dante’s brows pulled together. “Really?”

“Yeah, cos no matter how much you piss me off, I still love you, you fuckwit.”

“Ash!” Juliet snapped, “Why do you always say nice things, then go and ruin it?”

“Don’t worry, J,” Dante said, “Cos I love the fuckwit too. And I would kill if anyone threatened you guys; I just didn’t do it this time.”

“This time?” Ash asked.

Dante looked out the window. “At all.”

Ash turned back around as Juliet started driving again, his mind returning to Len’s murder—and the guy’s cousin, someone who would also kill for their family. He closed his eyes, knowing the police were the least of his problems.

24

Sledge

Sledge re-entered Mr. Murphy’s house, heading through the kitchen and into the lounge. The place was covered with photos of the late Mrs. Murphy along with other family snapshots, of which Sledge had been told about many times over. Running trophies as ancient as the man himself lined the mantelpiece above the fireplace, while brightly coloured furniture filled the room, giving the place a seventies feel.

Mr. Murphy and the policeman, who Sledge recognised from Tama’s investigation, focused on him as he approached the couch. The large scar under the officer’s chin looked like someone with a bad aim had attempted to slit the guy’s throat. Sledge grimaced, the thought reminding him of Len.

“Have you managed to get a hold of your brothers yet?” the officer asked, remaining seated.

“No, but I left messages on their phones.”

“Good, because it’s essential they contact us straight away.” The officer indicated to Mr. Murphy, the old guy smiling up at Sledge like he was having Christmas and his past eighty-odd birthdays all at once. “Mr. Murphy has given me another account of what happened, one which conflicts with the emergency call. He’s stated that it was not Dante who followed the victim onto the property but a much older man, and that the unidentified man had been sitting in a van for a good hour, watching the place.”

Mr. Murphy cut in. “I went up to him and introduced myself, and asked who he was waiting for, because you can’t be too careful nowadays with these horrible people casing places to burgle.”

“That wasn’t a wise thing to do, Mr. Murphy,” the officer said.

“But he was perfectly polite and was very happy to talk to me. He said Ash and Dante were his boys, which probably explains why you and Juliet don’t look like your brothers.”

“No, we have the same parents,” Sledge said.

“Really, but you look more Māori, like that fella who used to live with you. I thought he was your father.”

Sledge knew the old guy was talking about his cousin, because they did have an uncanny resemblance. “What did the man look like?” he asked.

“He had two teardrop tattoos and a whopper of a scar down his face.”

Sledge brought a hand to his face. Chaz turning up at his brothers’ house wasn’t unexpected, but hearing he’d been there still made him want to throw up.

“What’s wrong, son?” Mr. Murphy asked.

Sledge lowered his hand and focused on the officer. “That’s my stepfather. I assume you know what he did to my family?”

“Yes, I’ll call it in,” the officer said, grabbing his radio.

“I thought you were s’posed to have a patrol car watching my brothers’ place.”

“Our resources don’t stretch far enough to have one there twenty-four/seven.”

“You lot are as useful as tits on a bull.” Sledge pulled out his phone and dialled Ash’s number, getting more agitated when his brother didn’t pick up. Swearing, he hung up then dialled Juliet’s number.

She answered on the third ring, “What’s happening?”

“Chaz killed Len.”

The officer interrupted, “That’s not confirmed, which means both your brothers still need to come down to the station,” he said loud enough for Juliet to hear.

“Didja catch all that?” Sledge asked Juliet.

“Yes,” she replied. “Does that mean we stick to the same plan?”

“Yeah, for now anyway.”

“Okay.”

Hanging up, Sledge turned back to the officer and Mr. Murphy, who were both watching him intently. “That wuz my sister, she’s gonna keep trying my brothers while I ring my other relatives. I’ll go outside to do it.”

The officer nodded then turned back to Mr. Murphy, who instantly started jabbering about Beth having broken up with Ash, and all the shouting that had been coming from the place of late, though how the hell the old man knew about the first one was beyond Sledge. For the briefest of seconds, he felt sorry for the policeman, the old bloke knowing how to chew the ear off corn.

He headed out the back again, going around the side of the garden shed so he didn’t get any nosy old men or cops sneaking up on him. He dialled his grandfather first, relaying what had happened and to pass on the message to everyone up north. His grandfather started cursing in Croatian, then stated he was coming down to Auckland, which Sledge nipped in the bud, using the policeman as an excuse to keep him away, the old fella not in the best of health.

Next he rang his father in Taranaki, who went silent for a moment, then said he would be there in six hours, something that Sledge didn’t discourage, because he knew Dante would need him. Once he’d finished contacting the rest of his relatives, he phoned Naf, giving him the rundown on the situation.

“Are you talking ’bout Kirstin’s dad?” Naf asked.

“Yeah, though shit knows how Chaz stuffed the fat bastard into that small playhouse.”

“Man, that’s horrible. Poor Kirstin and Tyler, they must be gutted.”

“Fuck Tyler!”

“Whoa, man, take it easy, it wuz his uncle. Gotta feel sorry for the dude.”

“Not after what he did to Corey.”

“He did nuthin’ to Corey.”

“He fucked him.”

“Dude, too much info.”

Sledge went quiet. He’d fumed and swore continuously on the car ride over, but as soon as he’d seen the cops swarming his brothers’ place like flies on shit he’d pushed Corey out of his mind. But now, the little bastard started creeping back in, making him feel guilty as hell. He hadn’t meant those words he’d said to Corey. He didn’t want to never see him again, far from it, but Corey choosing Tyler over him hurt, because for that one moment when Corey had admitted to loving him, needing him, he’d almost cracked and given in. And if Tyler hadn’t shown, he might have made love... Made love? Christ, what the hell was wrong with him?

“Sledge,” Naf said. “You still there?”

“Yeah,” Sledge answered, trying to control his voice. How could he have gone from wanting Corey as a best friend to wanting to do him? It was warped. No! He was warped, and totally fucked in the head. Sick, sick, fucking sick, he couldn’t do that shit, shit literally. God, what he needed was for someone to hit him over the head so that his brain rattled about and clicked back to focusing on chicks, and not dicks, because the only dick that should be in the picture was his, and preferably inserted up some hot piece of arse, NO, he meant pussy. Dammit!

“Sledge?”

“Sorry, arse, no, I mean shit... No, no, I didn’t call you an arse or a shit, I meant to say bad stuff seems to be piling up at my door, and the only reason I know ’bout Tyler’s uncle is cos he told me. I went to his place, and found Corey sleeping in the guy’s bloody bed. I tried to get him to come home, but he wouldn’t.”

“Well, if he wants to stay with Tyler, leave him be.”

“No, Tyler is a Jones. They’re dangerous.”

“Not all of them. Kirstin wuz alright and Tyler’s harmless. He totally went to pieces under you, even Corey could take him on and win and that’s saying sumpthin’. So, if my bro’s fine with him, don’t worry ’bout it.”

“He’s not fine! And he should come home where I can look after him.”

“Well, you’re doin a pretty shit job of that, he got hurt cos of you.”

“He did not! He got hurt cos you took him to that party and let Tyler fuck him. This is yours and Tyler’s fault, not mine.”

“What a load of bull. It wuz your bloody temper that got him hurt, no one else. You shouldn’t have attacked Tyler.”

“Tyler took advantage of him!”

“I doubt that. Corey’s the one who takes advantage of people. Look what he did to Juliet, and not to mention what he did to you with the threesome. He’s lucky you didn’t bash him for that.”

“I wouldn’t hurt him.”

“Maybe not intentionally, but you needa back off or else you’re gonna push Corey further away. He needs someone like everyone else, and if it’s Tyler then at least the guy’s good-lookin’ and has a bloody nice car. Sheesh, I’d love to drive it again, and if Tyler’s his boyfriend, he might let me. It wuz such a sweet ride—”

“It’s just a car.”

“Are you crazy? It’s not just a car, it’s a freakin’ Alfa Romeo 159 3.2 JTS. Didn’t you hear that V6 engine? And if you were nicer to Tyler he might let you drive it too—”

“I don’t wanna drive his bloody car; I want him to keep away from Corey.”

“That’s Corey’s decision not yours, and if he wants Tyler as a boyfriend, get over it, cos Corey won’t stay your mate if you keep beating up his dates.”

“Tyler’s not good enough for him.”

“Are you shitting me? Tyler’s way outta Corey’s league; I don’t know why that dude is even interested in my bro.”

“No way. Corey is way better lookin’ than Tyler. It’s Tyler who’s out-kicked his coverage, not the other way round.”

“Are you blind, dude? Tyler looks like a freakin’ model, and that car wuz an absolute babe.”

“Shut the fuck up ’bout the car.”

“But it purred, man, it purred—”

“You care more about Tyler’s car than your own brother! And if you’re not gonna do anything ’bout that sleazebag, I will.”

“God, you’re a selfish prick. You don’t have a right to say who Corey can and can’t see.”

“I’ve got every bloody right, I fuckin’ love him!”

“You what?”

Sledge went silent.

“Holy crap!” Naf said. “That’s why you’re all hyper, you’re jealous. Man, I would never have pegged you for a fag.”

“Cos I’m not, you moron! I love him as a mate.”

“Yeah, I really believe that.”

“If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’m gonna come round and beat the shit outta you.”

“Sounds like you’re being a bit overly defensive. And if you want Corey, he’d definitely say yes, my bro loves you too. Just tell him what you feel.”

“What I feel? And you’re calling me a fag? Go fuck yourself.” Sledge hung up, aching to smack Naf’s face in. And reactions like Naf’s were precisely why he couldn’t go with Corey, because he had a bad problem with tripping over his tongue and saying the wrong thing. And if he fucked Corey, someone would eventually find out... Sledge leaned his back against the shed, and closed his eyes. But he wanted to, although he didn’t understand why. He wasn’t into dudes, and the transvestite couldn’t be counted, because technically he got a hard-on for what looked like a chick. But how did it explain him getting one for Corey, and why was kissing Corey so much better than all the chicks he’d ever kissed. He wished Corey had just left it at the kiss, because it had been perfect, but the little shit had to ruin things by grabbing his cock, then showing off his own one. As if he was going to touch that. No bloody way, he wasn’t a faggot... Was he?

“Sledge!”

Sledge jumped, then poked his head around the corner of the shed to find Mr. Murphy looking for him. “I’m here, Mr. Murphy,” he said, stepping out.

“What’re you doing behind there, lad?”

“Just needed some privacy, I don’t like pigs… I mean cops.”

“It doesn’t matter, you still have to talk to him, and he needs to ask you some more questions.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sledge followed Mr. Murphy inside.

The officer looked up from the couch as they entered the lounge. “Have you managed to get a hold of everyone?”

“Almost all, just...” Sledge swore. He’d forgotten Beth. He pulled out his phone, getting her on the fourth ring. After relaying the message, Beth started babbling hysterically, asking where Dante and Ash were. “Heading for Craven’s. Look, I can’t talk right now, I’ve gotta go, just don’t go near the house. Chaz may not come back, but the pigs don’t want anyone gettin’ in the way if he does.” Sledge hung up before she could reply.

“Another thing,” the officer said, not looking amused. “Do you know a Deano Jones?”

Sledge slid his phone into his jeans, realising he’d let slip the word pig. “Not personally, other than he’s Len’s cousin. Why?”

“While you were outside a colleague radioed through, bringing me up to speed on a new situation that has arisen. After identifying his cousin’s body, Deano Jones lost it and started ranting that he was going to kill your brothers, then took off.”

“And you lot didn’t stop him?”

The officer frowned. “They tried to, but Mr. Jones attacked the two officers who were in attendance, knocking one out and breaking the other’s nose. We’re currently looking for him. A car is at his son’s house right now in Freemans Bay, while another is at his place.”

Sledge’s face fell. “My mate’s at his son’s house, and Tyler doesn’t live in Freemans Bay, it’s Herne Bay.”

The cop grabbed his radio. “We have Freemans Bay on file, what’s the new address?”

Sledge told him.

The officer radioed it through, then refocused on Sledge. “Does Deano Jones know there’s a connection between your family and your friend?”

“Not that I know of.” Sledge pulled out his phone and dialled Corey’s number. It rang through to the message system. He left a brief message, warning Corey about Deano coming, then texted a message, then recalled him, hoping he’d pick up. When Corey didn’t reply, he went for the door.

“Where are you going?” the officer asked.

“To get my mate back.”

25

Corey

Corey opened his eyes at the sound of banging. Yawning, he pulled his right arm out from under Tyler and sat up, the limb having gone stiff from the position. His mate continued to sleep, no doubt exhausted from all the crap that had gone down earlier. Tyler looked battered and bruised, both emotionally and physically, his swollen eyes not only from Sledge’s fists.

Corey ran a finger lightly over Tyler’s split lip, upset that Sledge had hurt the guy again. Just because Tyler did him, didn’t mean Sledge had a right to knock the poor bloke about, and it wasn’t fair, there was no competition between the two, Tyler was too soft to do damage to anyone. Man, why couldn’t Sledge stop being a prick and see that Tyler was nothing like his father, because if sons were clones of their dads he’d be a fat bastard who hated gays.

Someone hollered, “Open up, Tyler!”

Corey rubbed his eyes, wincing when he touched the bruised one. He bent over and scooped up his boxers from under the window and slipped them on, the memory of taking them off making him wince again. He’d gotten so close to what he wanted, so fucking close!

“I know you’re in there, your car’s outside!”

Impatient git, Corey thought. He looked back down at Tyler as he pulled on his jeans. His mate was still dressed in the same clothes he’d come home in. Tyler had fallen asleep in his arms after Sledge had left, literally crying himself to sleep.

“Tyler!” the person yelled again.

Corey tugged on his shirt, then headed out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. He crossed the lounge and unlocked the front door, wishing he hadn’t opened it a second later. Tyler’s dad glared down at him. He’d thought the guy had looked terrifying yesterday, but today Deano had amped up the volume a hundred-fold, making Corey want to piss himself.

“What the fuck are you doin’ ’ere?” Deano barked. “Farrah’s at my place.”

“Who’s Fa...” Corey stopped, instantly realising his mistake. He forced a laugh, even though he felt like crying. “Oh yeah, my girlfriend.” He swallowed as Deano’s bloodshot eyes narrowed.

“Well?” Deano said, shoving Corey’s chest.

Corey yelped.

“I didn’t push that hard.”

“My ribs are bruised.” He lifted his shirt to show Deano.

Deano looked down, then back up at Corey’s face. “Where’s my son?”

“Sleeping.”

Deano shoved him again, making Corey stumble into the coffee table. “Now, answer my first question. Why’re you here?”

“Staying with Tyler, he’s a mate.”

Deano stopped advancing on him. He loosened up his shoulders and neck like he was getting ready for a round in the boxing ring, then lowered his gaze down Corey’s body.

Terrified, Corey stared back, wishing he could move, run, do anything, even scream out to Tyler, but everything froze under Deano’s glare.

“You don’t look like a faggot,” Deano said.

Corey focused on Deano’s hands as they curled into fists. “I’ll go get Tyler,” he said, making a move for the bedroom. He squealed as Deano advanced on him, backing him up so fast that he knocked into the African sculpture. The wooden form landed on the floor with Corey on top of it.

Deano grabbed Corey by the shoulders and hauled him over to the couch, throwing him down on it. “But you sure as hell sound like a faggot, squealer,” he said, placing his hands on either side of Corey’s head.

Corey pushed his head back into the soft leather. “I-I’m not gay, sir.”

“Don’t lie to me, and don’t gimme that bullshit ’bout Farrah either, cos I know why you’re here now.” Deano leaned in so close Corey could smell what he had for lunch. “You wanna bum my boy.”

Corey shook his head.

Deano’s left eye twitched. “You have no right to be here, my boy’s not gay; women love him. They always come round, still do, knocking at my door and asking for him.”

Was the guy kidding? Tyler was abso-fucking-lutely gay, his effeminate mannerisms hard to miss. But then again, if Deano was serious, he didn’t want to be the messenger. “I’m just a frie—” Corey’s head snapped to the side as Deano slapped him.

“You’re a fuckin’ liar; otherwise you’d be with Farrah and not here.”

Raising a hand to his cheek, Corey dropped his gaze, too terrified to look at the guy.

Deano lifted his chin roughly. “Who bashed you?”

“No one, I banged into—” Corey cried out as another slap stung his cheek.

“I said, don’t lie to me.” Deano lifted up Corey’s T. “Looks bad to me. Did someone gay bash your puny-arse?”

“No.”

Deano exhaled shakily. “All I came over for was to see how my son was holding up, and you answer his door. Do you even know what’s happening to his family?” He grabbed Corey’s cheeks, his expression a mixture of anger and grief. “I betcha don’t. All you fags care about is getting off, using my beautiful boy while he’s suffering.” He ran his thumb under Corey’s eye, pushing into the bruised skin.

Yelping, Corey jerked his head back.

Deano clamped onto his chin tighter, his eyes narrowing. “I saw the way Tyler looked when he came over to my house with his black-eye and the plaster over his nose. I betcha tried it on with him and he didn’t like it, so you two fought.”

“No, we didn’t—” Corey cried out as Deano slapped his cheek again.

“Don’t interrupt me! Do you want me to teach you some manners, boy?”

Corey shook his head, weighing up whether he should scream out to Tyler.

“Maybe I should,” Deano said, turning Corey’s face. “Do you know what I wanna do to you right now, pretty boy?”

He shook his head again, knowing damn well that Deano wanted to pound his pie-hole.

“I wanna do what my son did to you, but ten times harder.”

Corey’s eyes widened. Wrong hole! “P-Please, no, he didn’t f-fuck me, I promise, we-we just w-watched a movie.”

Deano’s face fell then it hardened into a mask of hatred. “I didn’t mean that, you sick bastard!”

Something banged in the bedroom as Deano ploughed a fist into Corey’s gut, the punch nothing like he’d ever felt before, Juliet’s ones kisses in comparison.

The door opened, and Tyler hollered, “No!” as Deano’s fist struck again, this time connecting with Corey’s cheek. Sobbing from the pain, Corey curled up in a ball, then screamed as Deano yanked him off the couch by the neck.

“Dad, no! He’s my friend!”

Deano threw Corey onto the floor and brought a boot down on his right thigh, pulling out another scream. Tyler rammed into his father, making Deano stagger to the side. Deano pushed Tyler away, and grabbed Corey’s arm, dragging him towards the front door. Tyler started hitting his father, yelling at him to let go. When Deano didn’t, Tyler dropped down on Corey and wrapped his arms around him.

“Let go, Tyler!” Deano hollered.

“No!” Tyler tightened his grip on Corey. “Leave him alone!”

Deano pried Tyler off Corey, and dragged his son kicking and screaming across the lounge.

“Get in there!” Deano hollered as he tried to push Tyler into the bedroom.

Tyler held onto the door frame, yelling, “I hate you! I hate you!”

Corey pulled himself up by the couch, the pain unbearable, but his fear of Deano greater. Gritting his teeth, he limped outside, his right thigh hard to walk on. A door slammed inside, followed by Tyler yelling that Corey was his boyfriend. Corey glanced back. Deano was holding the bedroom door shut, and hollering through the wood that Tyler was lying.

Corey staggered towards the neighbour’s door and banged on it. When no one answered, he tried the next apartment. The argument in Tyler’s apartment continued to flare, the yelling match so loud he could hear every word clearly. He stumbled to the third door, and banged on it, now screaming out for help. Noise came from inside, but the door remained closed. He started banging louder, crying out in frustration and fear when the owner told him to go away.

He turned around, trying to figure out where to go next. A two-storey Art Deco house across the road caught his attention, the little kids out front staring at him, their expressions a mixture of fascination and fear.

Corey snapped his head around as Tyler yelled at his father to stop. Deano was heading out the front door with Tyler hanging off his arm. Corey started half-running, half-limping down the driveway. The kids across the road ran for the front door, squealing for their mother.

Behind Corey a scream split the air, Tyler calling out his name. Corey glanced back, horrified at the sight of Deano charging him. He went for the road, hope catching him in the chest as he saw a man and woman emerge from the house. The woman’s eyes widened, then she screamed, “Watch out!” her words overlapped by the screech of tyres.

Corey turned just as the police car hit him.

26

Ash

Ash jumped out of Corey’s car as it slowed down, getting an earful from Juliet in return, his sister yelling at him that he was a dangerous idiot. He turned around and waved at her to leave. She shook her head and drove off with Dante staring out the window at him, his brother’s expression almost mournful.

Ash headed onto Tiana’s property, eyeing up the white van parked in the driveway, and wondering whether it belonged to the person who’d upset Tiana. He glanced through the lounge window as he passed by, hoping to spot the person, but instead got an empty lounge and dining-room in return.

He jumped up the steps and knocked on the front door. When no one answered, he tried the handle, but found it locked. Calling out for Tiana, he knocked again, getting more and more anxious as the seconds ticked by. He jumped down the steps, about to head to the back of the house when the door finally pulled open. He turned around, surprised to find Aroha looking out at him.

“What’re you doin’ here?” you vile woman.

“I had to drop off a package for you.”

“You could’ve given it to Juliet to pass on.”

“Juliet wuz here when I got it, and I wuz hoping to catch her before she came home. Naf’s acting up again, wanting her to move out cos she hit his brother.”

“Sounds like the li’l twat deserved it.”

“Yeah, but everyone’s protective of Corey, so Juliet’s in the dog box.”

“It doesn’t matter, she’s coming to live with me, and if Naf even looks at her funny tell him I’ll be paying him a visit.”

“Naf won’t touch her, so you keep away from him.”

“Nuthin’ you can do about it, so get lost.” Ash walked up the stairs, annoyed when she didn’t move.

“If you’re after Tiana, she popped out to drop off Angelo to a neighbour’s. She got really scared when some rough skinhead visited, asking questions ’bout you.”

Ash straightened. “A skinhead?”

“Yeah, a Pākehā fella with ACDC tattooed across his knuckles.”

Ash’s hands clenched. “Deano fuckin’ Jones. How the hell did he know where she lives?”

“Dunno. I came just as he wuz leaving. He didn’t hurt her, but Tiana still got spooked.” Aroha stepped aside. “Anyway, come on in, she said she’ll be back any minute.”

Ash entered, heading for the lounge. A mug and a cup of tea were on the small table, along with a filter of coffee. Ash walked into the kitchen, dying for a wake me up, because he felt bloody exhausted. He opened the cupboard, looking for a mug, but only got plates.

Aroha came up behind him and removed a mug from the cupboard on his left. “Do ya want me to heat up some coffee for you?”

“No.” He snatched the mug out of her hand and headed into the lounge. He poured himself some coffee then took a sip, satisfied it was warm enough. He sat down on the couch as Aroha walked past with a cup of tea, her shaking hands making the teacup rattle against the saucer.

“What’s wrong with you?” he said. “Not enough booze in your system?”

“No! You’re scaring me.”

He barked out a laugh. “That’s stupid, I’ve never hurt you.”

She placed the cup and saucer on the coffee table. “Both you and Dante are always mean to me.”

“What do you expect when you hang round teenage boys? What’s the age difference between you and Naf?”

“Naf’s legal,” she said, moving further away from him.

“Barely. And weren’t you after Tama before him? You should stick to people your own age and leave the boys alone.” Hating even looking at her, he downed half the coffee, then shifted his attention to the picture of Angelo above the TV. “If my boy wuz eighteen and I found out some old bird wuz sleazing round him, I’d make damn sure it stopped instantly.”

“I’m not doin’ anything wrong, and Naf asked me out.”

“He’s young enough to be your son.” Ash downed the rest of his coffee and stood, agitated even talking to her. “Where’s that package you mentioned?”

She got to her feet, looking like she wanted to flay him alive. “You have no right to judge me.”

“I have every right, you sleazy perverted freak.”

“You are too!”

He sneered at her. “And you’re as juvenile as a teenager. Maybe that’s why you hang out with them, cos adults are above your comprehension.”

“You’re an arrogant bastard who deserves to be taken down.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “And you’re a whisper away from being a paedo, so keep your fuckin’ mouth shut.”

“You sell drugs, beat up people, including your own brother to the point that he had to be hospitalised, and you’re judging me? The world would be better off without people like you.”

“Damn right, but you’re included in that lot, cos you don’t have a thing to contribute either.” He shook out his hand as a tingle ran through it, the feeling reminding him of pins and needles.

“You can’t class me in the same group as you and Dante, and Sledge is just as bad, only Juliet is of any worth outta your damn family. You’re a bunch of lying bastards who hurt innocent people.”

“I don’t lie, and those so-called innocent people are the ones who come to me lookin’ for their next fix.” He shook out his right leg as numbness ran through it. “What the fuck?” he said, stamping his foot.

“You are a liar!” Aroha shouted. “You and your brother both ruined my ex’s life with your vicious lies.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking ’bout, and you’re not welcome here, so piss off.” He went to move around the table, but stumbled forward, his legs giving out from under him. He hit the ground, grunting on impact.

Aroha walked over to him.  “What goes round comes round, Ash.”

He tried to move his arms to push up, but they remained numb and useless. “I can’t...” His words slurred then petered out as his mouth went numb too.

She smiled. “You should be more careful with what you drink.”

Ash felt a rush of fear race through him, then it kicked into overdrive as she called out Chaz’s name. Ash’s silent scream went unheard as footsteps approached him. He tried to move again, but he could’ve been encased in steel for all the good it did, although his heart pounded at an unnatural rate, like it was going to burst out of his chest and take off on its own.

Chaz pushed the coffee table out of the way and bobbed down next to Ash, giving him a prod. “Shit, that’s pretty strong stuff.”

“Yeah,” Aroha said. “The dealer told me it would either cause hallucinations or paralyse him, but not permanently.” She kicked Ash’s leg.

Chaz swiped out at her. “Don’t hurt him.”

“He won’t feel it, they use it on animals. Appropriate really, cos he’s a bloody animal.”

“No, he’s not.” Chaz brushed Ash’s hair back. “It’s alright, boy, it’ll wear off.”

Ash flinched inside, although nothing showed. He couldn’t even feel Chaz’s touch, like his body was someone else’s, and he was just a viewer, watching the scene from afar. But what he saw terrified him, something that gripped him by the throat and squeezed hard. He wanted to run, to get out of there, or to at least close his eyes so he didn’t see that face again, the one who made him feel like a helpless fifteen-year-old again, a scared boy crying for the pain to stop.

“Close his eyes, Chaz,” Aroha said. “He’s starting to freak me out, staring up like he’s dead.”

Chaz lifted Ash’s wrist, his expression alarmed for a moment before relief flashed across his features. “Bloody woman, you made me panic.”

“Don’t see why, ’specially since you’re gonna—”

“Just shut up and help me get him into the van, then you can go free Tiana and the kid. She still thinks I’m forcing you, so you’ll be fine to stay.”

“But you said I could come with you.”

“Only if someone found out our connection.”

“But you promised.”

“We’ll talk about it after we get him into the van. Now, grab his feet.”

Aroha grunted as she lifted his legs. “He’s bloody heavy.”

“Yeah, he’s impressive, just like Dante. It’s freaky how much those two look alike now.”

“I already told you that.”

“Yeah, but seeing them is totally different. It’s just a pity that fat bastard showed up at their place, otherwise I could’ve gotten Dante too. All I did was ask the prick to leave, and he went off his head at me. It was his own fault he died. Though, it was a damn good idea you had phoning the cops. Now Dante can rot in prison—”

“Ash deserves to be in prison too,” Aroha said, her voice sounding strained.

“Not affected by his looks?”

“He’s nasty to me, and fuck he’s heavy. Lemme rest for a bit.” She dropped Ash’s legs onto the kitchen floor.

Chaz lowered him down. “That’s cos he’s probably too old for your tastes. Once Tama found out you’d visited me, he told everyone ’bout you proposing to him.”

“So what? At least Tama wuz eighteen; Ash wuz younger when you did him.”

“Doesn’t matter, it was consensual.”

“I never thought he wuz that way inclined, he seems to like females.”

“I like females too, just not as much as males. So, shut up and lift.”

“But, he’s killing my back. Why don’t you just kill him now instead of waiting?”

“Why the hell would I wanna kill him for?”

“Cos of what he did to you.”

“He did nuthin’ to me, it was Dante and their mother who fucked things up.”

“Eh? But I thought Ash lied ’bout you raping him.”

“Nah, I didn’t say that, just said they got evidence offa him.”

“Yeah, he talked.”

“No, I mean “evidence” as in a rape test.”

Aroha gasped. “You raped him?”

“Um, well … sort of—”

“You said Dante lied!”

“He did. He said his mother slashed me, but it was that little shite who did it.”

“I thought you were talking ’bout the rape charge, not who bloody slashed your face. And you just said it wuz consensual.”

“You’re sounding like a broken record, woman. And Ash wouldn’t have known anything if his mother and brother didn’t come home early. Once the roofie wore off he would’ve been none the wiser.”

“You drugged him?”

“And you’re surprised after what I’ve just done? Shit, you really are dumb.”

“You lied to me!”

“You believed what you wanted.”

“No, you led me into thinking things. God, how old wuz he when you raped him?”

“A week away from sixteen.”

“Fifteen! How could you?”

“I tried not to! Fuck! Stop making me feel like shit.”

“I wouldn’t have helped you if I’d known.”

“Well, it’s too late now, ain’t it? And you ain’t so sugar sweet considering how you were quite happy for me to kill him a minute ago.”

“Cos you lied ’bout what happened. I thought they ruined your life, not the other way round.”

“So the fuck what? You’re s’posed to be on my side, not the Ratas.”

“I’m not on anyone’s side, and I’m gonna phone the cops.”

Ash saw colour flash past him, followed by Aroha screaming. Ash strained to move, but still couldn’t budge.

“Shut the hell up, Aroha!” Chaz shouted.

“No, lemme go!”

Chaz threw Aroha at Ash’s feet. “Pick him up. Now!”

“No! You’ll rape him again.”

“No, I won’t.” Chaz stepped back. “But if you wanna call the cops so bad, let’s see how things turn out for you after I tell them how you helped me.”

Aroha scrambled to her feet. “You bastard! You can’t do that to me.”

“Then don’t threaten me! I fuckin’ saved your arse when we were kids, so you owe me.”

“I stuck by you while you were in prison.”

“If it wasn’t for me you’d be dead. And this is how you repay me by threatening to call the cops?”

“But, you lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie! It’s not my fault you live in a bloody fantasy world, choosing to believe what you want.”

“But, how could you rape him after what your uncle did to you?”

“I made a mistake, which I won’t do again. Now stop wasting time and help me lift him, then we can discuss this later when we’re safe.” A car pulled up outside, making Chaz swear. “Shit! Look what you’ve done now. Just get rid of whoever it is, cos if they spot me I’ll fuckin’ kill ’em, and you know I will.”

A few seconds later a knock came from the front door, followed by Juliet’s voice.

27

Juliet

Calling out Ash’s name, Juliet knocked again, desperate to tell him what had happened. Right after she’d dropped him off, Dante had tried to talk her into visiting their father in Taranaki, and when she’d refused, he’d jumped out of the car at the lights. God! Dante never listened to reason, just did as he pleased. Yeah, he was unwell, but what he wanted to do was beyond insanity, it was downright stupid. Firstly, the cops would know where their father lived, and secondly, it was a six hour drive and he knew she needed to be at work in thirty minutes, which at this rate wasn’t going to happen.

“Someone answer the door!’ she yelled, then jumped back in surprise as it open-sesamed, no footsteps warning her, but then again she had been shouting at the top of her lungs.

“What’re you doin’ here?” Juliet asked, surprised to see Aroha.

The skinny woman held onto the door like she needed something to prop herself up. “I had to drop off that package, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” Juliet went to enter, but Aroha blocked her way. “Please move; I hafta see Ash.”

“He’s gone.”

“Where?”

“To a neighbour’s with Tiana and Angelo. Tiana got scared when some skinhead called Deano showed up.”

Juliet gasped. “Oh God, is she alright?”

“Yeah, just shaken, but he might come back, so you should get outta here.”

“You too. Deano’s a psycho.”

“I will, I’ve just gotta grab my bag, so go, I’ll meet ya back home.”

Banging started up inside the house.

“What’s that?” Juliet asked, angling her head around Aroha.

Aroha pushed her away from the door and closed it, shutting them both out. “Please, Juliet, you hafta leave now.”

Juliet glanced through the lounge window as someone dashed across the dining-room and into the passage, the glimpse enough to tell her that it was a tall man. She looked back at Aroha, the woman’s expression now terrified, the cracks in the foundation along her forehead pronounced. Then Aroha opened her mouth, the whisper of a name bringing Juliet’s world to a standstill: Chaz. Juliet stared at Aroha in disbelief, because her stepfather couldn’t be here, not at Tiana’s, he didn’t know about this place.

When she didn’t move, Aroha grabbed her by the arm and practically dragged her down the steps, almost making her fall over. Behind them, the front door banged open, capturing Juliet’s attention more than Aroha’s bony grip. She pulled free and spun around, then stopped, the shock at seeing her stepfather freezing her in place. Although she didn’t remember what he looked like, the scar and teardrop tattoos on his face were dead giveaways as to who he was: someone who she knew would kill her in a heartbeat.

A scream ripped out of her lungs as he jumped down the steps. Aroha pushed Juliet aside and leapt at him, screaming and clawing like a crazed banshee out for blood. Without a second thought, Juliet scrambled to her feet and ran, the terror of seeing the man who’d killed her mother causing her to shoot across the road without looking. A Jeep Wrangler screeched to a halt, barely missing her. She turned, ready to beg the driver for help, then screamed louder as Chaz emerged from the property, the blood on his face matching his murderous glare. He went for her, then quickly backed up as the driver jumped out, the man even bigger than Chaz. Juliet watched with hope, which quickly disappeared with one punch, Chaz flooring the man. Before the driver hit the ground, Juliet was off again, pumping her powerful legs like she was at the Olympics, chewing up the footpath faster than she’d ever run at any track meet. After she’d passed several properties, she glanced back. Chaz was nowhere in sight, although the driver still lay on the road.

Trying to work out what to do next, she glanced around, then headed into the closest property, a small brick house. She banged on the door, her heart pounding so fast she thought it was going to smash a hole through the wooden panel.

A chain jingled, then the door cracked open. “What do you want?” a female voice asked harshly.

Everything came out of Juliet’s mouth all at once, a jumbled mix of names and fear.

The woman cut her off at the mention of Angelo. “Come inside,” she said, opening the door fully.

Juliet followed the middle-aged woman into a lounge. The woman grabbed the phone off a wall cabinet and dialled, giving out the details to the emergency people. Two young boys entered the room through another doorway, asking what was happening. “Don’t go outside,” the woman answered, “The police are coming for a bad man.”

Juliet’s gaze moved to the older of the boys. He was Angelo’s age. The image of those teardrop tattoos on Chaz’s face shot across her mind, along with their meaning... Oh God, Angelo!

She rushed out of the lounge, terror moving her forward, making her no longer concerned for her own safety.

The woman called out to her, “You can’t go back.”

Juliet opened the front door and jumped down the steps, sprinting for Tiana’s place, the Jeep and its owner now gone. She stopped in front of Tiana’s driveway, her eyes scanning the property, ready to take off in a second if Chaz showed. Aroha’s van was still parked in front of Tiana’s Suzuki, but the woman was nowhere in sight. Juliet stood for a moment, fear now telling her she should leave, while her heart screamed at her to move forward, to call out to Chaz, to try anything to distract him, giving the police enough time to arrive.

Something banged on the other side of the van, making her jump. Through the windscreen she could see... She clamped a hand over her mouth as Chaz heaved someone inside. Although Chaz’s body blocked her view, she caught a glimpse of his captive’s arms, the tattoos on the left one telling her that it was Ash. She glanced behind her at Corey’s car, her mind working overtime, trying to think of anything to stop Chaz from leaving. Pulling out the keys, she ran for the driver’s side and got in, starting the engine before she could count to ten. She quickly backed up, blocking the driveway off as Chaz came around the corner of the van. Screaming, she jumped out and sprinted down the road, glancing back to see if Chaz had followed. When she couldn’t see him, she headed into the property she’d run to earlier, the woman with the phone waiting for her by the front door.

A loud bang made her stop in her tracks. She turned to see Corey’s car being shunted forward by Aroha’s van. Now hysterical, Juliet took off down the road, sprinting as fast as she could for her brother, her ragged voice calling out his name. The van backed up again, then rammed into Corey’s car once more before driving off in the opposite direction, Juliet too far away to do anything even if she was capable, which she knew she wasn’t. She came to a stop and put her hands on her knees, not caring that she was crying in the middle of the road, only that Ash was gone. A man came out of the property across from her, asking what was happening. She ignored him and headed for Tiana’s house, letting out a startled shriek as she entered through the front door. Aroha was lying face down on the wooden floorboards, the blood next to her head painting a picture of death. Juliet dropped to her knees, desperately fumbling for a pulse. Relief flooded her when she found one.

Banging started up from Angelo’s room. Getting to her feet, Juliet opened the door, finding both Angelo and Tiana tied up. Angelo was lying on the floor, gagged and secured to a chair, although one of his legs had managed to get free. He stopped thumping the cabinet with his foot and looked up, his eyes filled with tears.

Juliet ran over and pulled out the gag, giving him a hug before trying to untie his arms. When she couldn’t get them undone, she went to Tiana, who was tied to the bed, and removed the material from her mouth. Instantly, Tiana started screaming for Ash.

Needing to untie them, Juliet went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife then returned, freeing Angelo first. As soon as the last rope was cut, he shot out of the room, shouting, “Dad!” which was quickly followed by a scream.

Juliet dashed out after him, almost getting bowled over as he changed direction and ran into her arms, no doubt terrified from seeing Aroha lying still on the floor. “She’s not dead,” Juliet said, ushering him back to his mother.

She then cut Tiana free. Like Angelo, Tiana jumped up and ran out of the room, but called out Ash’s name instead. Juliet followed her in a daze, unable to tell her what she’d seen, that he was gone, her tears choking her up.

When Tiana had finished scouring every room and the backyard, she headed for the road with Juliet in tow, her cries for Ash mixing in with the sound of a siren as a police car rounded the corner.

Juliet finally found her voice, anger now mixing in with anguish. “You’re too late!” she screamed at the approaching car. “You’re too bloody late!”

28

Sledge

Sledge’s phone went off as he drove down the Southern Motorway. He clicked it on. “What?”

Juliet’s cries came over the line. “Chaz kidnapped Ash!”

Shocked, he let go of the steering wheel, making the car swerve into another lane. The driver next to him moved to avoid him, then blasted the horn as Sledge got the car under control. He pulled over to the side of the motorway, his hands shaking badly from the near miss and Juliet’s news.

“Sledge?”

“What about Dante?” he finally said, his heart still racing even though the car had stopped.

“He’s taken off.”

“Where are you?”

“Tiana’s.”

He started the engine back up. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“No, you hafta go to that huge hospital near town.”

“Why?”

“Corey’s been hit by a car.”

“What?!”

“I called to tell Naf ’bout Chaz hurting Aroha, and he told me Corey’s in Critical Care.”

“Oh God, oh God.”

“Go to Corey, I’ll phone you when I hear any more news ’bout Ash.”

Sledge hung up and gunned the accelerator. His mind raced along with the car, torturing him, telling him that this was his fault, that Corey wouldn’t have been hurt if he hadn’t left.

He picked up speed, going as fast as he could without Juliet’s car falling to pieces. He turned off the motorway at Newmarket, swearing when the lights turned red. He stopped and thumped the steering wheel, screaming at it to change. As soon as it flashed green, he shot out of there like a Formula 1 driver, reaching the hospital within minutes.

He parked in the first space he found and jumped out, heading across the concrete, in between cars and onto the footpath, and bowling down a man when the bastard didn’t move out of the way fast enough. Without looking back, Sledge shot through the emergency entrance, zeroing in on the nurses’ station. Some women were talking to a nurse behind the counter. He pushed in front of them, ignoring their annoyed responses. “I’m after Corey Connor’s room,” he blurted out.

The nurse frowned at him. “Please wait in line; I was helping those women before you barged through.”

“I can’t wait, my best friend wuz hit by a car, he could die, I needa know which room he’s in. Please, I needa be with him,” Sledge said, almost in tears.

The woman’s expression softened. “Okay, just hold on a tick.” She tapped away at the computer, the seconds she took feeling like forever to Sledge. “He’s in Critical Care,” she finally said. “But only family are allowed through.”

“But, he’s my best friend.”

“Are you able to call his family? They may be able to help—”

Before she could finish, Sledge was dialling Naf. When his mate answered, he yelled, “They won’t lemme see Corey. I’m at the emergency entrance nurses’ station. Tell them to lemme see him, I hafta see him!”

“I’ll be right down.”

Sledge’s hand shook as he re-pocketed the phone. He stepped to the side and scanned all the doors, willing Naf to appear like magic. After a few minutes, his eyes snapped to his right as Naf exited a corridor. Sledge ran to him. “How is he?”

Naf looked distraught, his eyes red and swollen. “He’s unconscious. His right leg’s busted, and his face and ribs are pretty battered. He ran in front of a cop car tryna escape Tyler’s father.”

“Take me to him.”

“My dad said only family’s allowed.”

“He is my family!”

“Okay, man, if anyone says anything you’re my cousin, and ignore my dad, my mum will override him.”

They headed up an elevator and through a few corridors before coming to another nurses’ station. Naf spoke to the woman behind the desk, then poked his head into Corey’s room, telling Sledge only his mother was there, then took off, saying something about Aroha.

The nurse came out from behind the desk, and led Sledge into Corey’s room, spouting information he couldn’t process, because all he could see was Corey lying unconscious on a hospital bed with his face battered, bruised, and bandaged up to the hilt, while his right leg was in a cast and raised high.

First Tama, now Corey.

Although Tama’s death had hit him hard, he could grieve him, but Corey was different, he meant everything to him, even more than his own life. He didn’t know when things had changed between them, when Corey became more than a mate, but he knew it had, because it killed him seeing Corey like this.

His eyes moved to Corey’s heart-rate monitor, terrified that it would stop, because his bloody heart would too. God, he fucking loved the guy.

Mrs. Connor wrapped her arms around Sledge, bringing him out of his stupor. He’d forgotten she was here, because all he saw was Corey. He turned to her and pushed his face into her shoulder, letting it all out. Mrs. Connor stroked his hair, saying soothing words, reassuring him that Corey would be alright. He didn’t know how long he’d cried for, but eventually she pulled free and steered him towards the bed, sitting him down by Corey.

She kissed Sledge on the head like a son, then wiped his face. “I understand what Corey is to you. I’ll give you a few minutes alone. His father will be back soon, so make the most of it.” She drew the curtains, leaving him alone with Corey.

Sledge reached out and touched the beanie on Corey’s head, which had been put over the bandages, no doubt by his mother, the woman one of the sweetest people he’d met. He then looked down at Corey’s hand for a moment before taking it. “I’m sorry,” he said, running his thumb across the pale skin, “I didn’t mean those things I said, I wuz angry and I wuz...” jealous. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for leaving you there; I shouldn’t have walked off like that.” A sob escaped Sledge, the sound so loud in the room where only monitors reigned. “You can’t die, you’re not allowed to; you’re everything to me. I ... I love you, and if you don’t die, I’ll do anything, I’ll try to deal with things better, even meet you half-way. I don’t know how, but we can sort things out, just don’t die.” He wiped his eyes and nose. “Please wake up, you hafta, I can’t lose you.” His thumb moved over Corey’s knuckles, then he bent down and kissed them.

Footsteps made him jolt. He placed Corey’s hand down and turned to see Mr. Connor push the curtains aside.

The man’s eyes narrowed in on Sledge, his pudgy face angry. “You’re not allowed in here, you’re not family.”

“He’s my best friend,” Sledge said, not willing to move from Corey’s side. “And Mrs. Connor said I could stay.”

“I don’t give a damn what she says! If it wuzn’t for your sort, he wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

“My sort?”

“Gays.”

“I’m not gay and I wuz nowhere near him when he got hurt.”

“There’s no use lying to me; I know what my son is.”

Sledge stood up. “I ain’t lying, and what the hell do ya mean you know what Corey is, like he’s a thing?”

“He’s gay. You made him that way, and don’t bloody deny it. I saw how Corey followed you around like a love sick puppy, then I saw that repulsive shit on his computer. God! How could you do that to my boy?”

“I didn’t do anything to him, and what stuff on the computer?”

Mr. Connor continued on, like he hadn’t heard Sledge, his face distorting in pain, his anguish stark. “When I threatened to kick him out if he didn’t stop seeing you, he yelled at me, told me that he loved you, that he wuz gonna move in with you, and that he didn’t care ’bout anything but you. He said this to me like I wuz nuthin’ to him. He chose you over his own family. I never kicked him out, he left! I wuz bluffing, I didn’t think my own son would turn his back on me. You made him hate me!”

Sledge stared at Mr. Connor in shock.

“So, don’t you dare lie to me, I know you two are boyfriends. But you got him hurt, and there’s no way I’m gonna back down this time. He’s my son! You can find someone else, I can’t. So fuck off, before I call security to throw you out.”

“Then get them, cos I ain’t leaving!”

Mrs. Connor entered the room. “Stop it, John! Leave Sledge alone. He has a right to be here.”

Mr. Connor waved a hand in Corey’s direction. “He caused our son to end up like this, and you did too. You were too soft on Corey, letting him get away with too much, and hiding it all from me like I didn’t have a right to know what my own child wuz gettin’ up to.”

“I did no such thing! You chose to ignore who Corey was. And don’t put this on Sledge either, cos he wasn’t even at the accident; Corey was with someone else. The boy’s father attacked Corey cos of it.”

Mr. Connor’s brows pulled together. “What?”

“The police took this kid in for questioning. He claims to be Corey’s boyfriend.”

“But he’s Corey’s boyfriend,” Mr. Connor said, indicating towards Sledge.

“No, he’s his friend.”

Mr. Connor looked confused. “But Corey said he loves Sledge.”

“I’m not gay,” Sledge said, feeling ashamed, because right now he wasn’t sure if he was or not. But he didn’t want the man chucking him out, and was willing to say and do anything he could to stay. “I didn’t even know Corey wuz gay until yesterday. He only went with Tyler last night, and just before he wuz with my sister.”

Mr. Connor appeared shocked. “Your sister?” His eyes widened, then he swore. “So, I wuz half right, he does love you, but you don’t return it?”

“I love him as a mate.” Sledge glanced over at Corey, knowing that was a lie.

Mr. Connor breathed out. “I guess I owe you an apology then, but Corey led me to believe you were boyfriends.”

“He wanted to be, but...” I was a fool who should’ve said yes, but... “I didn’t,” though I would in a heartbeat now. Sledge looked back at Corey. Please wake up.

“Yes, yes, that’s understandable,” Mr. Connor said.

Sledge looked back at Mr. Connor, wondering about the word ‘understandable.’ He didn’t think it was, considering how he had kissed Corey, not the other way round. Yeah, Corey was being aggressive, but he could’ve walked away, and not given into his desire. His eyes lowered to Corey’s lips. They were split, probably from being punched. God, he wanted to rip Deano Jones apart. Sledge’s face hardened. He didn’t care if the police had the man, he would find a way to get at him no matter what.

Mr. Connor’s voice broke through Sledge’s thoughts. “I’m goin’ to talk to a nurse. You can stay as long as you like.”

Sledge nodded, not willing to say thank you, the man’s about-face making him want to punch him. Mr. Connor didn’t give a shit he loved Corey; all that was important to the bastard was his fucking sexual orientation.

Mr. Connor left with his wife following him, mumbling something about Photoshop.

Sledge took Corey’s hand. “No wonder you wanted to move out. Your dad’s a Grade-A arsehole.” He squeezed Corey’s hand and smiled sadly. “So, I’m a fag now am I? Well, not so sure ’bout that, cos I have no fuckin’ clue what I am.”

“You are gay,” a croaky voice answered him.

Sledge sat up straight. “Corey?”

Corey opened his eyes. “Am I in hell? I feel like it.”

Sledge smiled, his heart pounding fast. “You’re in the hospital.”

“You’re hurting my hand.”

Sledge let go, not realising he was squeezing it.

“What happened?” Corey said, moving his gaze to Sledge.

“You were bashed by Tyler’s father and ran out in front of a cop car.”

Recognition flickered across Corey’s face, then he closed his eyes, a tear escaping from the swollen one.

Sledge leaned over and wiped it. “Don’t cry, you’re gonna be alright. And I’ll get that bastard. He won’t come anywhere near you again, babe.”

Corey opened his eyes and looked at Sledge. “Babe?”

Sledge’s mouth went dry, realising what he’d said.

“You called me babe.”

“I meant mate.” He smiled. “But it doesn’t matter,” cos you’re alive, and if anything, the word fits.

“It does matter, and I thought we weren’t mates anymore. You said you never wanted to see my faggot arse again.”

“I’m sorry, I wuz angry.”

Corey closed his eyes again. “Just go away, Sledge. I wanna be alone.”

“Look, you know I didn’t mean it. Fuck, man, I love you, you’ve gotta know that.”

“You don’t love me like I want you to.”

“But I do.”

“No, you don’t, and I don’t want you here unless you admit you felt sumpthin’ for me earlier. And I mean sexually.”

“I—”

Corey cut him off before Sledge could admit it. “You got hard when we kissed, and you’re the one who kissed me, yet you backed up like I wuzn’t worth your time, cos I don’t have tits and a pussy.”

“I—”

Corey cut him off again, his heart rate monitor beeping too fast. “You keep denying things. Well, until you stop being a weak bastard who hides behind names, you can fuck off. I’m sick of gay bashing pricks, putting me down just cos I’m me!”

“I’m not putting you down and I would never hit you, and I wuzn’t denying—”

“Go away!”

“No, Corey, I wanna stay, please, you’ve got things wrong.”

“No, I had things wrong before. I shouldn’t love you, cos you’re a selfish prick who only cares ’bout one person—yourself. Tyler’s the only one who cares ’bout me.”

“Tyler’s father caused all of this, I didn’t.”

“That wuzn’t Tyler’s fault, he tried to stop his father, tried to protect me, when all you did wuz call me names and leave.”

“I didn’t mean to, and I would’ve protected you—”

“Liar! Go away!”

“I’m not lying, I love you.”

Footsteps entered the room then the curtain was pulled back. A nurse rushed to check the monitor while a doctor went to the other side, asking Sledge to move. Sledge shifted behind the doctor as Corey’s parents crowded around the bed, Mrs. Connor’s voice ecstatic that Corey was conscious.

Sledge went to move back up the bed.

Corey’s swollen gaze followed him. “Go away, Sledge.”

“But I wanna stay.”

“Go away!”

Sledge jumped. “Don’t Corey, please don’t.”

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you...” Corey’s monitor started going crazy as he worked himself up more.

Mrs. Connor grabbed Sledge’s hand and pulled at him. “Come with me.”

Sledge turned and followed Mrs. Connor into the corridor, allowing himself to get directed to a seat. He sat down and covered his face as she bobbed down in front of him.

“What happened, Sledge?”

Sledge shook his head.

Mrs. Connor squeezed his arm. “Corey didn’t mean that, he’s just upset. You two will make up, I know it. He loves you; he’ll forgive you for whatever happened.”

Sledge wiped his face. “No, he won’t.”

“Yes, he will. Now, tell me what happened, see if I can help.”

“You can’t, no one can.”

“Try me.”

Sledge told her about Corey hitting on him, just leaving out the part where he’d responded, his shame rising up again. He breathed out, then continued on, mentioning the trouble that had gone down between Juliet and Corey.

“Oh.” Mrs. Connor looked horrified. “And he’s mad at you?”

Sledge nodded.

“This isn’t your fault, honey. I love my boy, but he’s being selfish trying to force you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. And if he expects you to accept him like he is, then he shouldn’t try to change you, just like his father shouldn’t try to change him either. I’m afraid those two are more alike in personality than they care to admit, sexuality having nuthin’ to do with things.”

“But, I don’t wanna lose him, I love him so much.”

“You say that like he’s your boyfriend, not a friend.”

“I didn’t mean to.” He’s more than a friend, and I don’t think boyfriend sounds right either, but we aren’t lovers cos we haven’t done more than kiss.

“Is there something you wanna tell me?” Mrs. Connor asked, her expression knowing. “Cos I won’t judge you if you do.”

I don’t want to admit it to you, no matter how much you understand. Christ, you’re his mother, how can I tell you I got hard over your son? That’s just wrong in so many ways. And the way your husband looked at me when he thought I was bonking Corey, it scares me shitless that others will do the same.

“Sledge?”

He grabbed his hair, pulling on it to give him focus. “I don’t know how to word things. I wuz cruel to him, but I didn’t mean to, he just kept pushing and pushing until I snapped.” Sledge wished he could tell her straight, but that was the problem, nothing was straight now, and he wasn’t referring to possibly being gay, because his emotions were zigzagging all over the place, making him confused and not sure of what he wanted. He didn’t know if he could actually cross the boundaries with Corey sexually, or whether he was even capable of giving his mate, lover, whatever Corey was to him, what the guy wanted. But if he didn’t, he’d lose Corey to Tyler, and he couldn’t cope with that.

Mrs. Connor squeezed his knee. “But you do love him, that’s why you’re here.”

Sledge nodded. “I didn’t mean what I said, I spoke without thinking. Tyler said horrible things ’bout my brother, and when Corey sided with him I lost my temper and stormed out. I thought he chose Tyler over me.”

“This is the boy whose father beat Corey?”

Sledge nodded. “Corey’s s’posed to be my mate, not his, but he chose Tyler cos he’s gay,” and I don’t know what I am.

“Do you want Tyler to have Corey?”

Sledge looked up. “No!”

“That was a loud no.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“Then don’t let Corey push you away or around. He’s too upset to see sense now, but come back tomorrow, maybe he’ll have calmed down by then. And have a think ’bout what you wanna say to him, how you want things to proceed. Fight for your friendship, make him see what he’s pushing away.”

“I’m not good with words.”

“You’ll think of something, cos I can see how much you care. As his mother, that makes me feel good that he has someone who loves him as much as you do. Whether it’s platonic or not, it’s still love. Make Corey see that.”

Sledge wiped his face and nodded, then looked to his left as Naf hurried towards them, the clomp of his boots loud.

“Is Corey alright?” Naf asked as he came to a stop in front of them.

“Yes, he’s awake,” Sledge answered.

Naf blew out a breath, his face relieved for a few seconds before going dark. “Aroha’s awake and you’re not gonna believe what she said.”

Sledge got to his feet. “What?”

“She wouldn’t stop crying and babbling on about your stepdad trying to kill Juliet and wanting to rape Ash.”

Sledge’s hand shook as he pulled out his phone and rang Juliet. He’d had no idea how much danger she’d been in, just assumed it had been all about Ash.

His sister picked up on the third ring. “Sledge?”

“Did Chaz hurt you?” he asked.

“No, I got away.”

“Have the pigs mentioned anything ’bout Ash?”

“No, but they have Chaz’s licence plate.”

“Ring me as soon as you hear anymore.”

“Will do.”

“And Juliet...”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry for what happened between Corey and you.”

“Really?” she said, the sob in her voice making him feel like a complete and utter bastard for treating her so badly.

“Yeah, and I’ll make it up to you. I love you, sis.”

“I love you too, Tyson.”

He smiled sadly, not having heard her use his birth name in years. He said bye, then hung up, his gaze moving to Naf’s concerned face.

“What’s happening, Sledge?” Naf asked.

“What Aroha said is true.”

“Eh?”

“My stepfather raped Ash when my bro wuz fifteen.”

“You’re shitting me?”

“I wish I were.”

29

Ash

Ash’s eyelids refused to open, and he didn’t want them to either. His body felt like it was in a cocoon: warm and safe, a place he wished he could stay forever. No, someone was holding him in a tight embrace, protecting him. He thought of Tiana as lips pressed into his hair, then his forehead. He snuggled in closer, wanting the comfort, the love he felt from her. Soft kisses landed on his eyelids, along with murmurs that he was beautiful, the voice not belonging to Tiana. Panic rose through him, then was instantly snuffed out as a wave of dizziness swept through his mind, robbing him of his fears as well as consciousness.

Something clanged, jolting him awake. He opened his eyes, finding himself lying on a bed alone, with only darkness embracing him. His shoulders ached as well as his arms, which were stuck underneath him, pressing into his back. He rolled onto his side to free them, but found them tied together, the rope itching his wrists. Confused, he looked down his body, his eyes adjusting enough to see he was clad in a T-shirt and underwear. He pulled his legs up, dumbfounded when he realised they were tied too, and... What the fuck? He wriggled about, wondering whether he was imagining things, because there was a fucking chain around his waist.

More clanging noises filled the house, sounding like pots and pans being jostled about. Ash’s gaze moved to a thin strip of light coming from the doorway, drawing a line across the floor like one of Beth’s ribbons left lying about. He stared at it for a while, trying to work out how he’d gotten here. He couldn’t remember past Aroha answering Tiana’s door. Though, he didn’t understand why she’d been there, because his ex... No, he meant his woman... didn’t associate with that creepy bird.

When everything went quiet again, he rolled his legs over the side of the bed then pushed to his feet. A wave of dizziness swept through him, making him fall back onto the mattress. He lay still for a moment, feeling like he had no bones in his body, only aching muscles.

The door pushed open, instantly capturing his attention, along with the smell of fish and chips, something he hated because it reminded him of...

Chaz!

Recognising his stepfather, Ash let out a startled shout, then quickly rolled over to the other side of the bed, using it as a barrier between him and his nightmare.

“You can’t be real,” Ash said, staring in disbelief.

“Oh, I’m definitely real,” his stepfather replied, switching on the light. Dressed in jeans and a black jumper, Chaz was holding a plate of food and a bottle of beer. He placed them on the cabinet under the window, then headed around the bed to Ash.

Ash hopped backwards, his tied legs making it difficult to move. “Stay away from me!”

Chaz stopped and held out a hand. “Don’t be afraid, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“Liar!” Anger rose through Ash, quelling his fears. He lurched at Chaz, wanting to head-butt him, but instead got shoved onto the mattress. He tried to get up, but his body flailed about uselessly as Chaz held onto his shoulders.

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me!” Ash screamed, trying to get free.

Chaz let go and backed away, holding his hands up high as though Ash had a gun pointed at him. “Look, no touching, you’re safe.”

Ash started yelling, “Help!” as loud as he could.

“No one will hear you. We’re near Waipoua Forest,” Chaz said, taking a step forward.

Ash hollered, “Back off!” as he struggled to his feet, thinking, this couldn’t be real, it couldn’t be happening again...

With his hands still in the air, Chaz took another step forward. “Calm down, boy, I told ja I’m not gonna hurt you.”

...but it was real, and Chaz was going to...

Ash lunged at Chaz again, but tripped over his tied feet, knocking his stepfather into the standalone wardrobe, its mirror cracking on impact. Chaz grabbed him around the waist and tackled him onto the bed, shouting at Ash to stop. Ash struck out with his head, catching Chaz on the cheek. His stepfather hollered, but still remained on top, the feel of the man’s body causing Ash to buck like a crazed animal desperate to shake off its predator.

Chaz shoved Ash onto his front, making Ash cry out, his mind now swamped with terror. He was fifteen again, and unable to stop what was coming, his stepfather’s hard cock ready to penetrate him.

“No!!” Ash screamed.

Chaz grabbed his hair and yanked it back. “Shut the fuck up!”

“Get offa me, get offa me!”

“Not until you stop this crazy shit!”

Ash started swearing and yelling, throwing everything he had at Chaz as he continued to buck and jerk underneath his stepfather, not caring as his hair got pulled more.

Chaz placed his mouth next to Ash’s ear, and yelled, “SHUT UP!”

Wincing, Ash pushed his face into the mattress, the shout hurting more than his hair getting pulled.

“Thank Christ for that,” Chaz said, breathing heavily. “Man, you’re a strong bugger.”

“Get offa me,” Ash said, his voice muffled by the mattress.

“Not until you promise not to attack me again.”

Ash lifted his head. “I wanna kill you!”

“Then I guess I ain’t moving until you change your shit attitude.” Chaz pressed his crotch into Ash. “Now promise me!”

“I won’t attack you, I won’t,” Ash blurted out, the feel of Chaz’s cock making him say anything to get free. “Please get offa me, please, I’m not your fuck toy.”

Letting go of Ash, Chaz pushed off him, then walked around to the other side of the room. “I never thought of you as one,” he said, looking uncomfortable.

Ash rolled onto his side, too wiped out to attack again whether he wanted to or not, the dizziness from earlier brushing his mind again along with a tightness squeezing his lungs. “You’re a liar. You...” He forced out a yawn, the only way he could release the pressure from his chest when he had breathing problems. “Y-You were ... hard.”

Chaz pulled a face. “I couldn’t help that, you were fuckin’ wriggling under me, but I’m not making the same mistake twice, cos I don’t wanna rape you.”

Ash pushed out another breath. “Then why am I like this?” he said, shaking his bound arms.

“Cos I knew you’d attack me.”

Ash yawned again, the pressure in his chest finally calming down. “Then why bring me here?”

“I wanna make things up to you so we can be a family again.”

“By kidnapping and tying me up?”

“You wouldn’t have come otherwise.”

“Cos you murdered my mother!”

“I didn’t murder her, I was defending myself; I had no choice.”

“She wuz defending me and Dante!”

Chaz ran a hand over his face. “I know I stuffed up with you, but I couldn’t help it, I needed you. Fuck, it was so bloody hard to keep my hands to myself with you around me every day; I thought I could just have that one night without anyone finding out. How the hell was I s’posed to know your mother would come home a day early?”

“I wuz a kid!” Ash said, pushing to his feet. “You shouldn’t have touched me.”

“I fuckin’ know that, but you didn’t look like one.” Chaz raised his hands to his head. “I’m sorry, but I tried, I really did.”

“I trusted you!”

“I said sorry, what else can I do?”

“Lemme go.”

“I can’t do that.”

“You said you’d do anything for me.”

“But I need you.”

“No you don’t!”

“Yes I do, you’re mine.”

“I’m not yours!”

“Yes you are! And you don’t have a say in this, so shut the fuck up or I’ll make you!”

“You just said you wouldn’t hurt me, now you’re threatening me. You’re a bull-faced liar!”

Chaz’s features screwed up as though Ash had caused him pain. “Listen to me, I’m not gonna hurt you. I could’ve killed you by now if I wanted to, but I could never do that to you, cos you mean everything to me. Just thinking about you got me through prison, knowing that when I got out we would be together again.”

“You’re fucked in the head.”

“Maybe, but I know if you just gimme a chance we could work things out.”

“No! I hate you.”

“Please, just gimme a chance—”

“I gave you a chance ten years ago and you raped me!”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Yes, you did! This is why you’ve brought me here now, so you can do it again. Well, I ain’t gonna let you. I’ll rip off your dick and shove it down your throat if you put it anywhere near me, you sick fuckin’ paedo!”

“I’m not a paedo! I want you now, so I can’t be.” Chaz pointed a finger at him. “And I went to prison for you!”

“You went to prison cos you’re a rapist and a murderer, and I hope they fucked you up bad in there.”

Chaz took a step around the bed, his expression now vicious. “I wouldn’t mouth off if I was you, boy, cos you’re not exactly in a position to say that shit and get away with it. So, you’re gonna learn to love me or else I’ll make you fuckin’ pay for everything that was done to me in prison.”

“You hurt me! I didn’t hurt you!”

“Bullshit! I lost everything cos of you.”

“I’m the one who lost everything, not you! You killed my mother, my family wuz split up, and I almost committed suicide. So, don’t fling your shit at me!”

“You tried to kill yourself?” Chaz said, looking shocked.

Ash’s brows knitted together at the memory of the pact he’d made with Llewellyn Davies, another moment from his past he wished he could rewrite. They both had been hurting so bad, that all they’d wanted to do was to escape the pain that had been inflicted upon them—something he wished he could do now.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, Ash,” Chaz said heading for him again.

“Back off!”

Chaz stopped at the foot of the bed. “Calm down, I was only gonna hug you.”

“I don’t want you touching me, let alone near me!”

“You slept in my arms earlier, and nuthin’ happened—”

“I what?” Ash said, horrified.

“I wanted to hold you, and I didn’t touch you below, plus you seemed to like it. You snuggled right into me. It was lovely holding you like that.”

Ash felt like throwing up, the thought that he’d felt safe in the arms of his mother’s killer and his rapist horrifying him, because he remembered the arms that had held him and the lips that had kissed his hair, his forehead and his eyelids. He wanted to stop thinking, to not allow the image to form in his mind. Although he hadn’t been aware of what he’d been doing, he felt like he’d betrayed his mother. He didn’t think he could hate Chaz even more than he already had, but right at this moment he did. And Chaz would do the same thing to him again in a heartbeat, because all the man cared about was his sick perverted fantasies—not him.

Ash lowered his head, wishing he could at least unbind his feet so he could propel forward faster, but if he launched himself hard enough he would still reach his target.

Chaz pointed a finger at Ash. “Don’t even think about attacking me again, cos you’re not only chained to that bed, you’re chained to me: you’d die out here without me.”

“Good!” Before Ash could think things through, he launched himself at the wardrobe, ramming his head into the mirror door. He fell backwards, Chaz’s shocked cry cutting off as Ash lost consciousness.

30

Dante

“Everyone’s been looking for you, Son.”

Dante jolted awake. Disorientated, he sat up, gradually focusing on the tall figure above him. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, wondering whether he was dreaming.

His father squatted down in front of him, the tattooed lines of his full-faced moko blurred by the night. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, then I remembered this old tree. You always came here when you thought you were in trouble.”

“Then I should be living here permanently.” Dante wiped the side of his face, brushing off grit. It had been light when he’d arrived at the beach, the walk taking hours. Although he knew he shouldn’t have returned to Claydon, that it was a stupid thing to do, he couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, because there was no way he was heading to Craven’s like Ash had wanted. No doubt the boss would shelter him, but he’d rather be stripped naked and marched down Queen Street with a tickertape parade than ask for help from that bastard, because there was always strings attached with the boss—nothing was free, and everything cost more than money could buy.

“Did Juliet call you?” Dante asked, pulling his hoodie over his head. With the night, came a chill air, the sea breeze biting. “She always did like to dob on me.”

His father sat down next to him. “Sledge rang first. He told me ’bout the murder—”

“I didn’t kill Len!”

“Oi! I know that, so don’t jump down my throat.”

“Sorry.” Dante glanced out over the dark expanse of the Manukau Harbour, the water looking like slick oil under the moonlight. “I’m just used to people not believing me. Even after Sledge called, telling Juliet ’bout Chaz, Ash still looked at me like I wuz guilty.”

His father let out a long sigh as though he was expelling his demons, which he had plenty of, his past a basket case of mistakes and misery. “You’re being paranoid,” he finally said. “And I know you didn’t kill Len, cos Chaz did.”

Dante’s head snapped around. “So it’s confirmed?”

“Pretty much.”

Relieved that he was off the hook, Dante breathed out, although the thought that Chaz had been at his home still made him feel sick. “Does Ash know?”

“That’s why I’m here, Son.” His father paused. “Chaz has Ash.”

Dante heard the words, but they didn’t click together, the pieces shaped too differently to fit. “What do ya mean?”

“Chaz kidnapped Ash.”

Dante shook his head, the slow buzz of insanity growling in his mind, rearing to be let out with the wrong answer, because it was just fucking impossible! “Chaz can’t have Ash, cos Juliet dropped him off at Tiana’s.”

“Juliet went back after you jumped out of the car. Chaz tried to grab her too, but she got away—”

“You’re lying!” Dante jumped to his feet, not accepting any of this shit, because it couldn’t be true. Ash wasn’t a kid anymore, which meant that Chaz wouldn’t be interested in him. Then why was he watching their house?

His father rose slowly, his large shoulders hunching forward. “I wish I wuz lying, but I’m not. The police said that Chaz drugged Ash.”

Dante shook his head, not wanting to hear anymore, but his father continued, trying to drum it in that this was real. But Dante already knew it was, because it was like a sick rerun of the year 2000, when he’d walked in on Chaz raping Ash. The shock at seeing Chaz on top of what looked like his brother’s lifeless form had made Dante scream... like now. Dante put his hands over his ears, and fucking screamed, letting everything come out all at once.

The image of Chaz fucking Ash changed to one of Dante fucking Beth. He’d hurt her like Chaz had hurt Ash, just taken what he’d wanted, not caring until it was too late. He was as bad as Chaz, a sick fucking rapist, forcing himself onto someone. He couldn’t believe he’d screwed her like that, not hearing her screams until it was too late, and he’d come, fucking come while she was in pain. How could he do that after what he’d seen, after knowing how those things ruined people’s lives? He didn’t understand it, hated it, but he always wanted to push inside roughly, to just take what he wanted. It was why most women left him: they were scared—and he was scared too, because he knew what he was capable of doing.

Dante screamed louder, not wanting to admit to himself that he could be like Chaz. His father pulled him into a tight embrace, continuing to hold him even after the screams had died down.

“They’ll find him, Son.”

Dante buried his face into his father’s shoulder and shook his head. “It’s too late, Chaz would’ve hurt Ash already,” he said softly, his throat broken and raw like his soul.

“Ash is strong, he won’t let him.”

Dante pulled free from his father’s arms, anger now ripping the words out of his mouth. “How can you say that? He’s been drugged. He can’t fight that.”

“There’s no use in torturing yourself imagining what could be happening, cos it may not be.”

“But that sick bastard will—”

“The police will get him.”

“It’ll be too late!” Dante’s voice cracked. “This will kill Ash. He won’t be able to live through this again.”

“He has a son to live for now.”

“But he’s tried to kill himself before.”

“He wuz sixteen then, and that wuz some fucked up suicide pact. He wouldn’t do sumpthin’ like that now.”

“I wish I could believe that, but you didn’t see what Chaz did to him, I did.”

“You hafta hope for the best, I hafta too, or it’ll drive us both crazy.”

“I’m already fuckin’ crazy!” Dante said, tapping his own head hard. “And I can’t get the images outta my mind of what Chaz did to Ash. Jesus, he’s pro’bly doin’ it to him right now.” He stepped away as his father reached for him again. “Don’t, just don’t. If Ash dies, I’ve had enough; I’ve fuckin’ had enough of all this shit. I can’t take being here anymore!”

“Son! Stop it now, suicide’s not the answer.”

“I’m not talking ’bout suicide, I mean Auckland, I mean being around people. I fuckin’ hate people! I hate everyone being around me, I can’t take loving people only for them to be taken away. Everyone I love leaves me. I hate it, I fuckin’ hate it, it’s not right, can’t you stop it, just stop it, stop it, fuck, get it to stop!”

His father lunged at him, pulling him into a bear-hug as Dante started swearing, the pressure too much, his anguish and disbelief turning into nothing but swearwords and pain he wish could end, because he felt like he was losing his mind completely and utterly.

His father held on tight until Dante eventually calmed down, then his grip slackened. “Have you been taking your medication?”

“Yes,” Dante said, not interested in telling his dad about all the days he’d missed, because being bipolar made no difference—he would’ve lost control whether he was sane or not.

“Well, you need to reel yourself in before I take you to Tiana’s. That’s where everyone is, and I can’t have you screaming with Angelo there. The boy’s already shaken up as it is.”

Dante’s face dropped. “Did Chaz hurt him?”

“No, and Tiana’s not hurt either. So, let’s get goin’.”

Dante shook his head. “I can’t be round them like this. I can’t control myself lately.”

“But Sledge needs you. The boy’s broken down. His friend got hit by a car—”

“Who?”

“Corey.”

Dante brought a hand to his face. “Jesus. As if this isn’t enough. Is Corey alright?”

“He’s got a broken leg, plus a bashing from some thug.”

Dante dropped his hand. “Un-fuckin’-believable.”

“Yeah, you boys are being put through the ringer. But this also means that you needa step up and look after Sledge. Focus on him to get through this.” His father placed a strong hand at the back of Dante’s neck and started steering him up the grassy knoll. “And you will get through this, we all will, including Ash.”

31

Sledge

Monday

Sledge stood in the hospital corridor, watching Corey through the doorway, wishing he could go in and talk to him. But every time he went to move, he heard Corey’s words of hate replaying in his head. He’d fucked up, ruined their friendship all because he couldn’t admit to feeling something, shit knows what that something was, but it was there and it was for Corey.

A hand landed on his shoulder, making him jump. Dante held out sandwiches, the type from cafeterias with the plastic triangular wrapping.

“I’m not hungry,” Sledge said.

“You’ve gotta eat, bro.”

“Can’t.”

Dante cracked the plastic open and pulled out a ham sandwich. “Eat it or I’ll shove it down your throat.”

Sledge knew Dante would follow through, so he took it. Since last night, his brother wouldn’t leave him alone, acting like some parent running around after a naughty toddler.

As he bit into the sandwich Dante patted his back. “You gonna go in or stay out here all day?”

“The second option,” Sledge said chewing.

“There’s no use, he knows you’re here.”

“Which is exactly why I shouldn’t go in. He won’t even look this way.”

“What happened, Sledge? You two were tight.”

Considering telling him, Sledge took another bite of the sandwich. Out of everyone he didn’t think Dante would judge him, especially since he’d seen his bro flirt with guys before. It was usually in a teasing manner, but still, Dante didn’t seem to be bothered by gays. Hell, his brother had even pinched a tranny’s arse right in front of him, the one who’d sucked Sledge off, which was why he’d thought it was a female. But then again, Dante probably wasn’t aware it was a tranny, because the dude really did look like a lady. Sledge frowned. But come to think of it, Dante was the one who’d encouraged him to go with the tranny, even introducing them... THE BASTARD! Dante bloody knew it was a dude in drag.

Sledge glared at his brother. “You set me up.”

Dante frowned. “For what?”

“That tranny; you made me think it wuz a chick.”

Even though Dante looked like death warmed up—with his bloodshot eyes and the dark rings under them—an amused smirk formed across his face. “I thought I wuz doin’ you a favour.”

“By gettin’ a guy...” Sledge lowered his voice. “...to suck my dick?”

“Oh, c’mon, a mouth’s a mouth, and you were in need.”

“Not that much.”

“What? You didn’t enjoy Roxy? From what she told me you put a huge load down her throat.”

Sledge screwed up his face. “You’re sick, and you would’ve kicked my arse if I set you up like that.”

“As I said, a mouth’s a mouth.” Dante grabbed his own crotch and wriggled his eyebrows. “Take it from someone who knows.”

Sledge’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t, no, you’re pulling my tits.”

“I don’t consider tranny’s guys, so they can sucky, sucky long time all they like. But then again, normal guys have sucked me off too, but like trannies, they don’t get anything in return.” He smiled. “Well, other than a mouthful of my cum.”

“You’re gay?”

“Nah, guys don’t do it for me, I need a chick to get hard. I’ve only had guys suck me off cos their girlfriends wanted to watch. You should see the look on the chick’s face. Man, it always gets me goin’. Guess it’s like us wanting to watch two females goin’ at it.”

“Guess that ain’t bad as long as there’s always a chick around.”

Dante shrugged. “I’ve only done it once without one being there, but that wuz for cash. A pretty guy wanted to blow me, so I gave him a load, but I wuz imagining Angelina Jolie, plus the four-hundred bucks he wuz gonna gimme, cos dudes really do deflate the admiral,” he said, patting his crotch.

“He gave you four-hundred bucks to blow you?”

“Yeah, but I should’ve said no, cos he wouldn’t leave me alone afterwards. Pro’bly thought if he blew me good I’d want more. I had to threaten to bust him up just to get him off my back. Still, I’m sure he stalks me, cos he always seems to turn up at places when I’m there. Bloody creeps me out.”

Sledge stared at Dante in disbelief. “I can’t believe you took money let alone went with a dude.”

“Well, I wuzn’t gonna let him touch me for nuthin’, and it wuz only a oncer, well, with a dude anyway. Plus, I blew all my money at the casino the day before so I wuz kinda desperate.”

“You took money from chicks too?”

“Not really. This hot old bird left it next to the bed. I would’ve done her for nuthin’, I’m not a whore.” Dante’s face soured. “But then again, I guess I am one considering I took money from that dude.”

Sledge shook his head in amazement. The noises he used to hear coming from his brother’s room had always fascinated him, the chicks never quiet. A couple of times he’d even seen a male and female go in with his brother, just imagined it was the chick being concentrated on, not Dante.

“So, you don’t hate gays?” Sledge asked. God, when did he start was using the word gay instead of fag?

“Why should I?”

“Lots of guys do.”

“Only arrogant fucks who think every gay dude has a hard-on for them, and I don’t give a shit whether someone wants to do a guy or a chick, just as long as it’s consensual.” Dante ran a hand over his face, his expression cracking.

Sledge breathed out, not wanting to think about what Chaz could be doing to Ash. “I think I’m gay,” he blurted out, the confession preferable to his thoughts.

“Yeah, I know.”

Sledge’s face went slack. “What didja say?”

“I said, I know. It’s hardly a surprise, considering the way you and Corey act around each other.”

“Wait a mo, how long have you been thinking this?”

“After he started losing weight I caught you looking at his arse a lot.”

“I wuzn’t checking him out, his pants were always falling down.”

“Subconsciously you were checking him out.”

“No, I wuzn’t.”

“You can deny it all you want, but I know you like male arses. Roxy told me you fucked her, which made me think you wouldn’t have a problem doin’ Corey. Actually, I kinda thought you two were boyfriends and this wuz a lover’s spat.”

Sledge’s face burned. “It is not!” He lowered his voice. “I’m not doin’ Corey, and I only let Roxy blow me, cos I thought she wuz a chick.”

Dante shook his head. “Even denying it to yourself, talk about repressed.”

“I’m denying nuthin’, cos nuthin’ happened.”

“Well, Roxy said—”

“She’s lying.”

“I’ve already told you I have no problems with what you do, so why’re you denying it?”

“Cos I’m not gay and I didn’t do anything else to Roxy.”

“But you just said you think you’re gay.”

“Well, I’ve changed my mind; I like chicks, full stop.”

“And tranny’s and Corey. Looks like you’re bi.”

“But I don’t like other guys, so I can’t be bi.”

“Would you let a normal looking guy suck you off?”

“No!”

“Would you let a pretty or cute one suck you off?”

“No.”

“Can you say that any softer?”

Sledge pulled a face. “Guess I’m bi then, but I prefer chicks.”

“You’ve been standing out here for two hours, so my guess is you prefer Corey.”

“But I don’t like dicks, only mine.”

“Then top the dude like you did Roxy.”

“Top? What the hell does that mean?”

“Use him like a chick, dick-arse.”

Sledge pulled a face. “That’s gross, and I told you I didn’t root Roxy.”

“You’re lying again, Roxy told me—”

“She’s the liar! And the next time I see her I’m gonna kick her arse.”

“Lick her arse? Shit, you really are gay.” Laughing, Dante fended off a punch. “Calm down, bro, I’m joking.”

“You don’t hafta be a cunt about it.”

“You have no sense of humour. Anyway, back to Corey. Stop wallowing out here like a love struck twat and go say sorry to him.”

“I’m not in love.”

“Fuck you’re not; and Corey will accept your apology. You hafta be blind not to see he’s in love with you, or in your case—dumb.”

Sledge ignored the insult. “But he said he hates me and never wants to see me again.”

“You obviously did sumpthin’ to piss him off, so kiss and make up.”

“I’m not kissing him.”

“It’s a figure of speech, but maybe you should try it, at least I’ll get a laugh out of it.” Dante fended off another punch then latched onto Sledge’s arms, the smile leaving his face. “If you love the kid don’t waste time, cos you never know what’s gonna happen tomorrow. If I loved someone...” He frowned. “...and they loved me back, I wouldn’t muck around. So, go in there and get him back. I want at least one person in this goddamned family to be happy.”

Sledge nodded.

Dante let go and patted his arm. “Good on you, bro, and I’m stoked you feel you can confide in me.”

Sledge smiled, feeling a bit better.

Dante glanced down at his watch. “Crap, I’m late, I needa get to the police station.”

“Call me if they have anything new.”

“Will do.” Dante gave Sledge a quick hug then headed down the corridor, leaving Sledge by himself, holding a half-eaten sandwich and a stomach full of nerves.

Sledge turned back to Corey’s room, surprised to find his mate looking at him. Corey dropped his gaze, seemingly embarrassed he’d been caught. Sledge wondered how much Corey had heard of the conversation.

Sledge took a deep breath, then entered the room. Corey kept his gaze down, the swelling on his face making Sledge want to rip Deano out of jail and pummel him into non-existence. Maybe he had a new reason to be a prison guard now. Fuck yeah, he’d make that prick’s life a living hell.

He stopped at the foot of the bed. “I understand if you wanna yell and scream at me, and you’re right to hate me for what I did, but please gimme another chance and I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Corey looked up, his expression surprised. “You’re apologising to me?”

“Yeah, I wuz a crap friend—” Sledge’s face dropped. “Oh shit, I didn’t meana make you cry.”

Corey wiped his face. “You don’t needa apologise, it wuz my fault.”

“No, it wuzn’t,” Sledge said, pulling the curtains around them. He wanted to hug Corey, but kept his hands to himself, not sure how his mate would handle it. “I should never have left you. When I got the call ’bout you gettin’ hurt I wuz already on my way back to you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I wuz worried ’bout you.”

Corey closed his eyes. Sledge dumped the half-eaten sandwich into the rubbish bin then took Corey’s hand, his mate looking too vulnerable not to do anything.

Corey opened his eyes and looked down at Sledge’s hand. “Mum told me what you said, and I’m sorry I made you cry. I wuz so angry with everything, but I still shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I know I pushed you too much, but I thought when you kissed me I had a chance, then you left and Deano came...” He started crying again.

Careful not to hurt him, Sledge put his arms around Corey. “He’s in jail now and I’m not leaving and...”

“...and what?” Corey asked, leaning into Sledge.

“I love you, babe.”

Corey pulled back. “You mean mate.”

“No, I mean babe.”

Corey appeared confused. “What?”

Sledge smiled at him. “Just as long as you keep your dick to yourself, you’re my babe.”

Corey’s mouth fell open.

“You alright with that?” Sledge asked.

“Depends on what you think it means.”

“I don’t wanna lose you, and if it means I hafta try new things with you, then I will.” Sledge held up a hand. “Just as long as you don’t push things too far or fast.”

“Like what?”

“I’m not touching your dick, I’m not sucking it, and you’re not to tell anyone ’bout us being a couple cos I can’t handle it right now, I really can’t.”

A slow smile crept across Corey’s face. “You said couple.”

Sledge nodded.

“Does that mean you’ll fuck me?”

Sledge almost choked. “I don’t think you’re up to that right now—or in the near future.” Shit, what had he’d gotten himself into? He’d never fucked a guy before, he hadn’t even done a chick like that—what was the point, they had pussies.

Corey started babbling, “I’ll get better quick, and the broken leg doesn’t count, cos it’s safe in a cast, and won’t get in the way. And I’ll be outta hospital by Saturday, so we can do sumpthin’ then and...”

“Hey! Hold up, I said don’t push me.”

“I’m not pushing, cos you agreed to do me.”

“Christ! I did not.”

“But that’s what couples do,” Corey said, looking like he was going to cry again.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m not gonna jump into bed with you just like that.”

Like a light had been switched on, a smile lit up Corey’s face. “You said that like a chick. Do ya want me to court ya?”

“No, I’m the dude in this relationship, not you, you’re the chick.”

“Am not, and you said relationship, which means we get to have sex.”

Sledge exhaled loudly. “I wanna take things slow, so don’t push or call me names.”

“Okay, then kiss me, and make sure it’s slow.”

“I can’t do that here.”

“Why not? The curtains are drawn. Or are you leading me on?”

“No.”

“Then kiss me on the lips.”

“But they’re split.”

“Kiss me softly.”

Sledge fidgeted about. “I’m not in the mood.”

Corey let go of Sledge’s hand. “Well, get in the mood, cos I need proof you aren’t bullshitting me.”

“Fuck, you’re pushy. Didja do the same to Juliet?”

“No, so kiss me.”

Sledge breathed in, then leaned over and kissed Corey. Corey’s hand whipped out and grabbed his neck, holding him tight when he tried to pull back. Giving in, he slowly relaxed into the kiss, though he was afraid he was hurting Corey, because his mate was moaning. After one too many moans, he took a hold of Corey’s hand and pried it off his neck.

Corey looked upset. “Why’d ja stop? Didn’t you like it?”

“You were moaning. I thought I wuz hurting you.”

Corey shook his head. “You really are clueless.”

“What’s that s’posed to mean?”

“I liked it, stupid, plus I wuz rubbing my cock while we kissed.”

Sledge’s eyes shot down to Corey’s crotch, and the noticeable mound beneath the bedcover. “Fuck! You dirty li’l pervert.”

Corey smiled. “What didja expect, you’re hot?”

“You need glasses.”

“Nah, you need glasses. So, didja like the kiss?”

“Not sure, I wuz more worried ’bout hurting you.”

Corey’s eyes dropped to Sledge’s crotch, then moved back up to his face. “You didn’t like it?” he said, looking upset.

“I didn’t say that, but I liked it more at Tyler’s,” Sledge added, hoping that would satisfy Corey. “And it’s not exactly good kissing you when you’ve got a split lip.”

Corey’s face lit up. “I knew you liked it at Tyler’s.”

“Yeah, I just didn’t wanna admit it.”

“So, can we do it again?”

“Another time.”

“Then wank me off instead.”

“No! I told you I wouldn’t do that.”

Corey smiled. “It wuz worth a try.”

Sledge shook his head. “You’re gonna cause me a shitload of trouble, aren’t cha?”

Corey’s smile widened. “Most-fuckin’-definitely.”

32

Ash

Ash came to, his head yelling at him for waking up. He went to touch it, but found his arms tied to the top of the bed, the pull on his shoulders aching.

A hand brushed his cheek, followed by his stepfather’s relieved voice. “You scared the shit outta me, don’t ever fuckin’ do that again.”

Ash closed his eyes and shook his head, the hopelessness of the situation making him tremble.

“Everything will work out, love,” Chaz said.

“Don’t call me love. You used to call my mum that.” The thought of his mother made him tremble more, the nightmare he’d lived with for the past ten years too much to handle. He’d thought he was stronger than this, but tied to a bed, defenceless, unable to even put an end to his life, made him feel like a scared kid again. Fuck, he was weak, which was probably why Chaz had gone after him, because Dante would never have fallen for Chaz’s lies.

Chaz tucked a blanket around Ash’s body. “Take it easy, you’re in shock. You’ve got a nasty bruise on your forehead, it’s just lucky you didn’t cut yourself on the mirror.”

“If I wuz lucky I’d be dead.”

“Don’t say shit like that.”

“Why not?” Ash remembered what Aroha had said, along with the fact that she’d helped Chaz. “The world would be better off without me.”

“No, it wouldn’t.”

“If I wuzn’t born my mother would still be alive. You killed her cos of me.” Ash went to move his legs, but realised they were tied up too. A sob broke out, the sound too unreal to be coming from him. “Just kill me, please just kill me.”

“Christ, Ash, stop being stupid, there’s no way I’m gonna kill you.”

Ash opened his eyes and looked up at Chaz’s upset expression. “Please.”

“No.”

Chaz placed a hand on Ash’s stomach, making him wish it was a knife slicing through his flesh. He wasn’t afraid of death, hadn’t been for a long time. Instead, he was afraid of living, although Angelo and Tiana had made that worth it. But if he got snuffed out today, they would go on without him like they had for the past year. Maybe it was good that Tiana had left him, because, even though they were working things out, she wouldn’t hurt so much if he died.

“I can’t live like this,” Ash said. “Either kill me or lemme go.”

Chaz leaned forward, brushing Ash’s hair to the side, the contact making Ash want to scream and yell at his stepfather, but he couldn’t even flinch, everything too much. He’d always tried to be strong, to show people it wasn’t worth going up against him, but with Chaz he felt like that fifteen-year-old kid who’d woken up in hospital to find out his mother had been killed and he’d been raped. Scared and full of guilt, he’d almost taken his life, wanting to escape what Chaz had done to him and continued to do in his dreams, but now he was reliving it for real, although this time he was wide awake and with no drugs to shield his mind.

“Please do sumpthin’, anything,” Ash begged.

Chaz reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife, flicking it open. Feeling nothing but relief, Ash closed his eyes. He didn’t care how Chaz killed him, just wanted it to be quick. He felt a tug on his arms, then they were moved in front of him, although his wrists were still tied together. Surprised, he opened his eyes and watched as Chaz used the knife to release his legs from the bed, but like his wrists, they were tied too—nothing different from when he’d launched himself at the wardrobe.

“There, I’ve done something,” Chaz said. “But this is as far as it goes, cos I’m never giving you up. And if it means I hafta restrain you for the rest of your life, so be it. You’re mine, get used to it.”

“I’m not your fuckin’ pet!”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Then untie me.”

Chaz shook his head. “I can’t.” He pointed to the cabinet, “There’s your breakfast, it’s leftovers from dinner,” then left the room, closing the door behind him.

Ash rolled onto his side, glaring at the plate like it was the root of all evil, the smell of fish and chips making him want to throw up. He got to his feet and swung out with his clasped hands, knocking the plate to the floor, then crawled back onto the bed, waiting for sleep to free him, even if it was only for a short time.

***

Something touched Ash’s forehead, disturbing his sleep, then brushed against his lips, light and gentle. Tiana? He wanted to touch her, to hold her. He opened his mouth to speak, but felt a tongue slip inside, the smell of coffee causing him to open his eyes. He jerked back at the sight of Chaz. “Get away from me!” he yelled into Chaz’s face.

Looking annoyed, Chaz moved his head away. “It was just a kiss.”

Ash brought his knees up to kick him, but his stepfather pushed off the bed before contact.

“I see you still can’t handle male affection,” Chaz said.

“You had your fuckin’ tongue in my mouth, you dirty bastard!”

“So the fuck what? I wanted to kiss you, so I kissed you. Just be grateful I didn’t do more.”

Ash spat at Chaz. “I can fuckin’ taste your disgusting breath!” he shouted, pushing himself off the bed, the need to make Chaz pay for what he did to him overwhelming. “I’m gonna cut your fuckin’ cock off!”

Chaz grabbed Ash’s crotch and twisted, making Ash’s yell out. He went still, the grip too hard to pull free from without causing damage.

Chaz moved his face close, his lips brushing Ash’s. “Watch what you say, cos I don’t need your cock, only your boy cunt.”

“Let go,” Ash said, breathing heavy, the pain in his balls making him wince.

“Only if you say please.”

“Please. Fuck, please, please...”

“I like you begging, it makes me hard.” Chaz loosened his grip and pulled out the knife from his pocket. Flicking it open, he waved it in front of Ash’s face, then lowered it to Ash’s crotch. “Now, are you gonna be nice to me?”

Ash nodded, his eyes almost bulging out, his heart racing so fast he could hear it in his ears. The flat part of the blade ran across his underpants making him jolt backwards. The back of his legs knocked into the bed, sending him falling onto the mattress. Chaz leaned over him, running the blade up the inside of Ash’s thighs, the sting causing Ash to pant as it got closer to his balls.

“No, no, no...” he gasped.

The blade stopped a lick away from his balls, then Chaz lowered his head and kissed them through Ash’s underpants. “All better now,” he said, straightening.

Ash stared up at him, his heart still pounding hard, what had happened telling him he was going to get kissed, fucked or whatever else Chaz’s perverted mind wanted, and he had no say.

Chaz pointed at the floor with the knife. “Next time you waste food I’m gonna shove it up your arse. So eat everything I give you like a good li’l pet. Now, bark if you agree?”

“No.”

“Bark!”

“Kill me!”

Chaz shook his head. “You really have balls, just a matter of whether you want them attached or not.” He pointed the knife at Ash. “Now, I’m sure you don’t give a fuck if I kill you, but no man wants a knife cutting him below. So, bark!”

“You’re sick!”

Chaz smiled. “Ballsy but dumb. You were never that bright, the type to cut off his balls to spite his cock.” He bent down and speared a chip. “You want me to feed you, pretty baby?”

Ash gritted his teeth to stop from screaming at Chaz, his need to tear the man apart, to see blood—so strong. But instead he remained lying on the bed, the throb in his balls keeping him from lashing out again, both in words and action.

Chaz cocked his head. “Not gonna bite back?”

Ash shook his head.

“Good boy.” Chaz pointed at the cabinet. “I made you porridge, so you’re gonna eat every last drop, then lick the bowl clean. Understand?”

Ash nodded.

“Now, that wasn’t hard, was it?”

Ash shook his head.

“I like you better as a pussy than a cunt,” Chaz said smiling, then he bent down and scooped up the fish and chips off the floor, piling it onto the plastic plate.

Ash watched as Chaz left, his gaze remaining on the door for a while afterwards. When he was sure Chaz wasn’t returning, he pushed up and pulled his underpants forward, giving his balls and cock a look, the pain now only a dull ache. He let go and pushed to his feet, then went to the cabinet. His stomach growled, telling him to eat the porridge and to forget that it could be drugged, that he had no control over his body, whether he was conscious or not. If anything, it would be better if he was drugged, because he didn’t want to remember getting fucked.

With his tied hands, he picked up a spoonful of porridge, swearing as it spilt, splattering on his shirt and the floor. Trying again, this time slower, he managed to get a spoonful into his mouth, then another one and another, until he’d eaten half of the bowl, the last mouthful having a nasty bitter aftertaste. He spat it out, and wiped his tongue on his arm, trying to get it off. Swearing, he turned around and jumped towards the door, needing to wash away whatever fucking drug Chaz had used. As he opened the door a wave of dizziness slammed into him, taking his legs out from under him, his mind going blank before he hit the floor.

***

A noise woke Ash. He opened his eyes, finding himself back on the bed with the duvet wrapped around him. He wriggled out of it and got to his feet, a sense of déjà vu infusing his wrung out body, the weariness making him wish he’d eaten more of the porridge so he could sleep longer.

He looked over at the bowl, still on the cabinet, but with a note stuck to the outside, telling him to: Lick it clean or I’ll make you lick my balls.

Before he could think what he was doing, Ash swung out at it, knocking the plastic bowl to the floor, his rage taking over reason and his sanity. When he realised what he’d done, he yelled out at the top of his lungs, frustration as well as anger enveloping him, filling his stomach and sinking to the bottom faster than the porridge.

After calming down, his gaze flicked to the door, expecting Chaz to come barging through with a knife, and punishing him for making a mess—for not doing what his Lord and Master had told him. Ash spat at the ground, disgusted with Chaz’s sick mind games.

When the sadist didn’t enter, Ash hopped over to the curtains, using his head to nudge them apart. For a moment, he considered putting his head though the glass, but instead looked out at a small enclosure surrounded by tall pine trees, the sun bathing everything in its bright rays. What Chaz had said about being near Waipoua Forest returned, the place hours away from his home, and somewhere no one would think to look for him.

Pulling back, he looked at the porridge on the floor, some of it still remaining in the bowl. Wondering how long he’d slept for, he bobbed down and dipped a finger in, finding the porridge neither hot nor cold. He wiped the finger on the side of the mattress, then stood up, momentarily distracted by the glass of water. Ignoring his thirst, he turned away from it and hopped towards the door, wanting to piss on Chaz, because he was fucking busting. He nudged the door open, then entered a lounge which appeared to be in the middle of a renovation—or in bad need of one. It reminded him of his Uncle Luka’s house, where everything was half-finished, with the walls partially lined, the pink insulation showing like candy floss and a mismatch of carpets thrown on the floor without care.

Chaz got up from the couch. “Feeling better, Tarzan? Cos that was quite some holler.”

“Fuck up.”

Chaz shook his head. “You never learn, do ya?”

Ignoring him, Ash glanced at the next doorway, hoping it was the bathroom. He started jumping towards it, tensing as his stepfather followed.

“Do ya needa go to the toilet?” Chaz asked.

“Fuck off,” Ash said, nudging the door open with a shoulder.

“I’ll help you,” Chaz said.

“Fuck off!”

Chaz jolted. “Stop bloody attacking me every time I offer help.”

“You only help yourself.”

“Shit, you look exactly like Dante when you’re being a nasty cunt. Maybe if you keep it up I’ll think I took the wrong brother. Do you know what I’d do to Dante if I had him?”

“Exactly what you’re gonna do to me.”

“No, I’d fuck him in a second and would make it hurt like buggery.” Chaz smirked, like he’d made a funny joke. “Whereas I’d make sweet love to you.”

“You’re a sick fuck.”

“Well, you should know, cos I heard you got real sick after the last time.”

“You bastard!” Ash jerked back as Chaz pulled out his knife.

“You weren’t gonna attack me, were you?”

Yes. Ash shook his head as his eyes followed the knife like watching a tennis match, although the ball was completely in Chaz’s court.

“Remember what I said about you being nice to me?” Chaz moved the knife lower.

Ash nodded.

“You gonna say sorry.”

Ash’s lip twitched.

“You’re too proud, aren’t cha?” Chaz ran the knife up Ash’s leg. “But you weren’t earlier after eating the porridge. Didja realise I drugged it so I could clean you? I gave you a sponge bath.”

“You—” The blade pressed into Ash’s leg, taking his voice away and drawing blood.

“Again. Be grateful that I didn’t fuck ya, cos I wanted to.” Chaz reached for Ash’s hair, causing him to flinch. “Looks like master needs to train his bad li’l pet.”

“I’m—”

“Watch what you say, pet, cos this knife is so close to making you a bitch.”

“I’m already your bitch.”

Chaz smiled. “Nice answer.” He stepped back and waved the knife. “You better hop along balls of steel before I forget my conscience and take you right here and now, cos my cock is ready to explode.”

Ash quickly hopped into the bathroom and slammed the door shut with a shoulder, then leaned against it, scared that Chaz was going to come in. When he didn’t, Ash relieved himself then washed his hands, giving the mirror taps with his sore forehead as he cleaned, distracting himself with the pain, because he knew Chaz hadn’t given him a sponge bath—he smelt the same and the porridge mark was still on his shirt, which meant that Chaz had drugged him for another reason, something Ash didn’t want to know about.

Once clean, he cautiously opened the bathroom door, worried that Chaz was waiting for him. To his relief the lounge was clear, so he quickly headed for the kitchen, hoping to find something, anything that could cut the rope.

Like the lounge, the kitchen was in a state of disrepair, the bare floorboards and unpainted window ledges giving the place a worn out feel. His gaze latched onto the drawers underneath the bench. He hopped over and pulled open the top one, only finding plastic cutlery like the spoon he’d eaten with.

“Looking for a knife to stab me with?”

Ash jumped at Chaz’s voice. He turned around, finding Chaz only a few steps away.

“Well?” Chaz asked.

“I only wanted to cut the ropes off,” along with your cock.

“Just cos you’re not too bright doesn’t mean I believe your lies.”

“Stop insulting me!”

Chaz took a step back. “Don’t even think about it, Ash. You won’t win.”

Ash glared at him. “What’s the point in keeping me here?” He nodded at the fridge. “You’re wasting food on me, and you can’t exactly go to the supermarket with your ugly-arse face—”

“I’m not ugly.”

“You are to me, you sick pervert.”

“You really are dumb insulting me,” Chaz said, putting his hand on his pocket, the one holding the knife.

“It makes no diff; you’ll still rape me, you paedo shit!”

Chaz’s eyes narrowed. “You should be grateful I’m not a paedo, otherwise I would’ve taken your sweet li’l boy. He’s a gorgeous wee thing.”

Rage shot through Ash at the memory of Chaz being at Tiana’s place. It hadn’t clicked before, his situation and the drugs dominating his mind, but now the thought that Chaz had touched his son spurred him forward. He tripped as he tried to ram himself into Chaz, knocking both of them to the floor, his stepfather grunting in pain underneath him. Ash head-butted him, hurting his injury even more, but he was beyond caring.

Hollering from the blow, Chaz pushed out, knocking Ash into the stove. Ash rolled over and tried to get up, but got shoved onto his stomach as Chaz climbed on top of him. Ash went to butt Chaz with the back of his head, but got his hair grabbed and a large hand clamped over his mouth and nose. He struggled to get free, but Chaz held on tight, the seconds without oxygen making Ash’s mind go hazy.

Chaz leaned close to his ear, snarling, “Hello, Dante.”

Ash blanked out, his last thought of what Chaz had said about Dante running through his mind: ‘I’d fuck him in a second and would make it hurt like buggery.’

33

Dante

Dante sat in a chair opposite a policeman with Tiana and Juliet on his right. He’d seen this guy a few times, the chin scar hard to miss, but from memory he’d always been drunk when the cop had pulled him in.

The cop turned his gaze on Dante. “Don’t worry, sir, we’ll find your brother.”

But in what state?

“New Zealand’s a small country; someone’s bound to see your stepfather.” The cop smiled, which Dante assumed was supposed to be reassuring, but it didn’t feel it, because although the country wasn’t big, there were still plenty of places you could disappear to. His own father proved that when he vanished for weeks on end, leaving Dante alone as a teenager. It was probably why his dad eventually moved to rural Taranaki, isolating himself from everyone. But Dante didn’t blame him, because he wished he could do the same.

The cop continued, “Actually, we’ve had a couple of leads, one in Orewa and another in Wellsford. Do you know if your stepfather has any relatives or friends from those areas?”

Dante shook his head. “Only in Whangarei, and from memory it wuz a cousin.”

“We’re already checking there. What about in Maungaturoto? There was a man with teardrop tattoos seen there.”

“No.”

“Your younger brother said he’s rung all of your relatives to warn them, but from what you’ve told me about Dargaville I would suggest you contact the ones up there again, because all of those sightings are along the way.”

“He has no reason to go near my other family members, especially since they’ll be gunning for him.”

“Under no condition should they approach your stepfather—”

“Telling that to my uncle and grandfather would be like telling a mongoose not to attack a snake. They won’t listen and I wouldn’t either if I were them.”

The cop cleared his throat, then looked down at his notepad as Tiana started sniffling again, the sound irritating Dante even more.

Juliet put an arm around Tiana’s shoulders and pulled her in close. “They’ll find him, Tiana.”

“Repeating the same words over and over again won’t make them happen,” Dante said, gruffly.

Juliet gave him a glare. “And being nasty won’t help either.”

Dante shook his head at her. “Why’re you two even here? You’ve answered no questions; only sit there sniffling and gettin’ on my nerves.”

“Stop being horrible, we want to know what’s happening too, and we have just as much a right to be here as you do.”

Dante’s gaze moved to Tiana. “She doesn’t. She set him up.”

“She did not!” Juliet yelled. “She had no choice, Chaz threatened to hurt Angelo.”

“She could’ve said sumpthin’ to give Ash a clue, anything to warn him of what he wuz walking into.”

Bursting into tears, Tiana jumped up and ran out of the room.

“Look what you’ve done now!” Juliet yelled, getting up. “I hope you’re happy with yourself, you selfish jerk.” She followed Tiana out, leaving Dante staring after them.

“If you want to leave, I have no more questions,” the cop said.

Dante turned back to the man, surprised by the sympathy he saw. He’d expected condemnation like Juliet had given him. He knew he shouldn’t have snapped at Tiana, but it was what he thought, and he was never good at keeping his mouth shut.

“We’ll phone you when more information comes in,” the cop added. “And if you remember anything else contact us.”

Nodding, Dante got up and left the room, the building, and as he got outside he’d wished he’d left the city as soon as he spotted Beth getting out of her car. And to heap shit upon the dung heap called his life, she’d parked her pink Volkswagen right next to his bloody car.

She started heading towards him, the sway of her hips covered with a black skirt while her upper body was clad in a soft green blouse, the top buttons undone to show off her breasts. He hadn’t seen her since the episode in his bedroom—and didn’t want to either, what he’d done to her still plaguing his mind. So, like a coward, he turned and started walking in the opposite direction.

“Dante!”

He jumped over a strip of flax plants framing the police station, and onto the footpath.

“Dante, stop!”

Jesus, she was like a fucking pit bull, biting in and never letting go. He spun around and barked at her, “What?!”

Beth came to a halt in front of him. “I needa talk to you,” she said, looking worried.

“You shouldn’t come near me after what I did.” He nodded towards the police station. “You should be in there pressing charges against me.”

Her brow furrowed. “Why would I press charges?”

“For raping you.”

She appeared shocked. “Why would you say that?”

“Cos I forced myself onto you. I hurt you, made you scream.” Everyone thought he was like his father. They were partially right, but if it came down to it, he was more like his stepfather: someone who took what they wanted regardless of the consequences.

“You didn’t rape me,” she said. “It wuz consensual, and just cos I screamed doesn’t mean I didn’t like what you did.”

He shook his head, not understanding how she could say that, because he’d ripped into her, pumping so fucking hard that no woman would want that. He wasn’t some small-dicked prick who could get away with doing shit like that, barely brushing a woman’s walls, what he did would’ve hurt like bloody hell, and her agonised scream proved it. And if he was being honest, he’d wanted to hurt her, because it had felt fucking great, and what made it even worse was, if he had half the chance, he’d do it again, but with her tied to the bed, laid out for his pleasure.

He put his hands to his head. “Either report me or leave me alone.”

“No! I don’t want you in jail, I want you with me,” Beth said. “God, what you did yesterday wuz what I’ve always fantasised about.”

He pulled a face. “You fantasise ’bout rape?”

She nodded, then quickly added, “But only if it’s consensual.”

“Rape’s not consensual,” he said, stunned. “And how could you say that after what happened to Ash? And what’s pro’bly happening to him right now.”

She bit her bottom lip, her hazel eyes looking sorrowful. “What we did has got nuthin’ to do with Ash, cos I wouldn’t want the real thing, only the safe fantasy version. Yeah, you were rough, but not hateful, only passionate, and I loved you holding me down and looking at me like you had to have me.”

Without a word, he walked past her, heading for his car. He didn’t need this right now, and worse, it felt vulgar talking about sex right after seeing Tiana cry for Ash. Maybe he was wrong to snap at Tiana, maybe he should be snapping at Beth instead, because she should be crying for Ash too, not talking about rape fantasies. Yeah, it showed just how much Tiana cared for Ash and how little Beth did.

Beth followed him. “What’s there not to understand? I want to sort things out between us so we can be together.”

He turned on her. “You have shit timing saying that. Don’t you even care ’bout what’s happening to Ash?”

“Of course I care ’bout him,” she said, looking affronted. “Why do ya think I’m here?”

“Yet you’re telling me all about your fantasises and wanting me to be with you like some happily-ever-after couple. That shit doesn’t happen; it’s what makes Hollywood rich, and lumps everyone else with unrealistic ideals.”

“You brought it up, I didn’t. I only wanted to see whether you were alright.”

“Just go home, Beth,” he said frustrated.

“But I love you.”

His words to Sledge came to mind: If I had someone I loved ... and who loved me back, I wouldn’t muck around. But right now, he couldn’t handle both her and Ash’s situation at the same time.

“Dante, please believe me.”

“Then talk to me when Ash is safe, not now, cos it’s just wrong.” He pulled out his keys and opened his car, then jumped in and left without glancing back.

***

Like when his mother died there was police tape framing the property, something that always came in Chaz’s wake. Dante got out of his car and stepped over the tape, heading across the lawn to the front door. He pulled out his keys and opened up, then went straight to his bedroom. It was as he’d left it: torn up with broken shit all over the place. He kicked a path through to the curtains, and opened them. Angelo’s playhouse had tape all over it as though holding it together, a picture of innocence tainted. The thought that Chaz had defiled it made Dante want to smash it apart. He would do it too, but not right now. First he needed to head up to Dargaville to see his grandfather, something he should’ve done yesterday before everything had turned to shit.

He picked up his luggage bag and started piling clothes into it. He wasn’t running away, he was just concerned about how his grandfather was handling the news, especially since the old guy wasn’t in the best of health. Plus, if the cop was right about those sightings of Chaz, then he could check out Orewa, Wellsford and Maungaturoto along the way. He stopped dead, the place names running through his head. Orewa, Wellsford, Maungaturoto... They weren’t only on the way to Dargaville, they were also on the way to the Kai Iwi Lakes AND...

He took off, running down the passage and into the lounge, heading for the photo album stashed at the back of the trophy cabinet. He pulled it out and flipped through the pages, stopping when an image caught his eye. He stared down at a photo of Ash in a canoe, paddling on the Kai Iwi Lakes, Chaz’s half of the picture cut out. He remembered being upset that his family had gone up there with Chaz, because it felt almost sacrilegious going with someone other than his dad. So, he’d run away from the campsite, getting as far as the Waipoua forest before being found. His mother had been livid, going between hugging and yelling at him on the way back to the lakes, but it was what she’d asked his stepfather as they passed a line of trees that came to mind:

‘Chaz, does your brother still have a holiday cabin up here?’

‘Yes.’

Dante headed back into his room, retrieving his gun and a box of bullets from under a floorboard in the closet. After stuffing the gun into his pants, he covered it with his hoodie then slipped the bullets into his pocket and went to the front door, swearing as it opened from the outside. Beth stepped inside, the look on her face far too determined for his liking.

“I don’t have time for this,” he said.

“I don’t care; I’m not leaving until you get it into your thick head that I’m not backing down. I love you, Dante.”

“Bad timing. Now move.”

“No.”

“You hafta, I think I might know where Chaz could be.” Although he didn’t have the address, he remembered the general location, which was better than nothing.

“What? Where?”

“It doesn’t concern you.” When she didn’t move, he pushed past her and jumped down the steps.

She followed. “You can’t go looking for him, you should phone the police.”

“I will phone them.”

She ran to his car, blocking the driver’s side. “Then I’m coming.”

“No, you’re not, so stop gettin’ in my way.”

“You said I didn’t care ’bout Ash. Well, you’re wrong, I wanna help.”

“Too bad, cos you can’t.” He pushed her aside, and unlocked the door.

She grabbed the rear door and jumped into the back seat, closing the door before Dante realised what had happened.

“For fuck’s sake, get out!” he yelled.

“No,” she said, flicking the lock before he could stop her.

He angled his arm around the driver’s door and unlocked it, then pulled it open before she could prevent him. He bent over her, trying to undo her seatbelt. She smacked at his hands, yelling at him to stop.

“Beth, get out!”

“No! You’re taking me.”

He undid the seatbelt and grabbed her, ready to pull her out but she started kicking and screaming. He let go. “I don’t have time for your shit, I hafta help my brother.”

“Then lemme stay. I’ll phone the police on the way, while you drive.”

“You can’t come, it could be dangerous.”

“The police will get there before us, and if you don’t lemme stay I’ll scream so loud that Mr. Murphy will phone them. He’s out front again.”

Dante looked over at the property two doors down where Mr. Murphy was heading for his front door, half-hobble, half-run. Jesus, the old coot was a right pain in his arse. He looked back at Beth. “And you’re a pain in my arse too.”

“Too bad.” She climbed into the front, settling into the passenger seat.

“Okay, fuckin’ stay, but don’t talk to me on the way there, this is about Ash, not me or you.”

She nodded as he got in. Dante started the car and backed out, heading for the Waipoua Forest.

34

Ash

Ash moaned as consciousness hit him. Lines of pain stretched out from his forehead and curved around his closed eyes like Dante’s face tattoo. He turned his head as a fly tickled his cheek. The tickling turned into gentle strokes, the touch of nails making him realise it was a person caressing his face.

“Lemme sleep, Beth,” he muttered.

“You have another woman?”

Ash’s eyes flashed open. Chaz was sitting on the bed staring down at him, the look in his eyes hungry. Ash tried to move away, but found his hands and legs tied to the bed, just this time without... His gaze shot to his bare chest, then lowered to his underwear, relieved that at least he was still wearing them. And there was no pain below, so Chaz hadn’t fucked him. He didn’t believe in God, but right at that moment a prayer of thanks formed in his mind.

“Do you have more than one woman, Dante?” Chaz asked.

Ash started shaking his head, the movement hurting it, but he couldn’t stop himself, the memory of what Chaz had said he’d do to Dante making him panic. “I’m not Dante, please, I’m not Dante.”

Chaz smiled, although it didn’t reach his eyes. “Begging now, Dante?”

“You know I’m not him.”

“Well, I’m gonna call you Dante until you prove you’re Ash, which means you hafta be nice to me to do it. And I’ve also come up with a new plan. Every time you attack or do something that upsets me I’m gonna take a piece of your clothing off.” Chaz sneered. “And you can clearly see you’ve only got your gruds left. So, guess what I’ll be looking at?”

“I won’t cause trouble, I promise,” Ash said, his eyes locked onto Chaz’s hand hovering over his groin.

“Good, cos you’ve given me a huge headache.” Chaz pointed to the bump on his forehead. “Which I should pay you back for.”

Ash’s gaze flashed up to Chaz. “You did, you suffocated me,” raped me, killed my mother... which means I should pay you back with death.

“Guess so, but I’m still hurting, you’re not.”

“My forehead hurts.”

“That’s your own fault.” He touched Ash’s cheek, making him flinch. “And stop bloody flinching, cos it’s pissing me off.”

“I can’t help it.”

Chaz’s upper lip twitched in irritation. “You know, I didn’t think things would be like this when I got out. Yeah, I thought you’d resist me to start with, but once I’d explained that I never meant to harm you or your mother, I thought you’d settle down. Stupid, I know, but I wanted you so friggin’ bad.”

“I want Tiana and my family.”

“I’m part of your family.”

Ash bit the inside of his cheek to stop from yelling at Chaz that he wasn’t, but he knew he had to play things differently, because every time he attacked the psycho he came off worse.

“Yes, you’re my family,” Ash lied.

A smile lit up Chaz’s face. “Yeah, I am. I used to do everything for you and the others: cook, clean, take you places, and I loved watching your rugby games; you were really good at dodging people, fast too. Do you remember that time you dodged every player who came at you and scored a try? You almost ran across the whole damn field, it was impressive. You got player of the day and I took the family out to Pizza Hut to celebrate.”

Ash nodded, even though all he wanted to do was to head-butt Chaz, but that wouldn’t get him anywhere, because he was still tied to the bed where Chaz could do anything to him and he couldn’t do shit to stop him, the bloody ropes so tight they dug into his flesh.

Chaz’s smile widened. “I used to like doing things for you the most. I thought we could have the same arrangement, which means you don’t hafta lift a finger, cos I’ll take care of everything.” He brushed Ash’s fringe aside.

Ash clamped down everything inside of him to stop from flinching.

“Would you like me to take care of you again?” Chaz asked.

Ash nodded, again wanting to head-butt him.

“I wish you meant it.”

“I do,” so you can take these fuckin’ ropes offa me as well as the chain.

Chaz shook his head. “No, you don’t.” He tapped his bump. “Too soon a change after attacking me, but it’s still a huge improvement.”

“I’m sorry for attacking you.”

Chaz made a sound at the back of his throat. “I bet you are, considering you’re tied to a bed with only your gruds on.” He ran a finger down Ash’s stomach, stopping at the top of Ash’s underwear. “And you know how much I wanna fuck you.”

Ash felt like he’d stopped breathing, everything hanging on what Chaz would do next. Chaz’s hand drifted up to Ash’s neck and clamped around it, making Ash think he was going to get strangled instead, but he stayed still, although it was killing him.

Chaz continued, “I used to take what I wanted in prison. Though, I didn’t like them struggling. I’m not really into getting off roughing up guys unless they deserve it, I prefer them placid. I prefer you placid too, but not drugged. Still, I’ll take ya anyway I can get. How long do ya think it’ll take before you’d lemme fuck you?”

Never. “I don’t wanna be fucked, I’m not gay.”

“You don’t hafta be gay to like it. I had a mate who said he went to a male doctor and got a finger up his arse for a check-up, and he popped a load off. He wasn’t gay, but still liked it, so you might too.”

“I hated it when you raped me.”

“I didn’t warm you up, cos I thought you had passed out, but if I went slower it will feel good.”

“I still don’t want it.”

“C’mon, just say you might, then I’ll let up.”

“No!”

“You hafta say yes otherwise I will think I’m never gonna get any, then I’ll just take it now, cos it’s gonna happen either way.” He grabbed Ash below.

“Yes!”

Chaz let go with a smile. “See, that wasn’t so hard.” He glanced down at Ash’s groin, then back up again. “At all. Pity, but I can make you hard if you lemme. So, how are we gonna do things?”

Ash breathed in and out, his chest pumping fast.

“Looks like you’re a bit too excited to say anything. Maybe you liked me touching you, but think it’ll make you less masculine if you admit it.”

“I didn’t like it, I hated it.”

“You still don’t know how to handle male affection, do you? No, don’t answer that, I know you have daddy issues. Now, answer my question: how are we gonna do things?”

“You can’t fuck me— No, no, please listen,” Ash said, panicking as Chaz’s hand lowered. “I-I can’t handle it right now, I’m still too sore. Please, lemme get better first.”

Chaz removed his hand. “Okay, I can take things slow, but it also means you hafta lemme touch and hug you without whining like a scared bitch.”

Ash pulled a face.

“C’mon, Ash, you liked it yesterday.”

“I wuz drugged, I thought you were Tiana.”

“You liked the comfort, and considering I don’t wanna sleep on the couch you hafta agree to share the bed.” Chaz held up a hand. “Before you cut me off, it’s just hugging, nuthin’ else, and of course, sleeping. Though, you’ll still be tied up until I know you won’t attack me.”

“The bed’s not big enough.”

“It’s bloody King-sized, so stop fobbing me off and agree.” Chaz glanced at Ash’s underpants again. “Or I’ll forget your name.” He frowned, then lifted a finger to his lips. “Um, which one are you? Dante or Ash?”

“Don’t threaten me.”

“Then tell me the correct answer. Can I sleep in this bed?”

“Yes,” Ash said, wondering whether he could use the chain to strangle Chaz in his sleep.

“Good boy. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Stop patronising me.”

“Only when you stop acting like a child.”

Ash gritted his teeth so he wouldn’t snap at Chaz.

Chaz lowered his hand to Ash’s left pec, then moved it over his shoulder, tracing the tattoo that finished above his elbow. “Your tattoos remind me of that Polynesian star. What’s his name?” Chaz looked up. “You know; the Samoan American guy who used to wrestle.”

“The Rock,” Ash said automatically.

“Did he inspire the tat?”

“No.”

“When did you get them done?”

None of your fuckin’ business. “Those ones at eighteen and the neck one at sixteen—”

“But, I thought eighteen was the legal age for getting tattoos.”

“Hunter’s friend did the neck one for me.”

“Typical. I knew Hunter was an irresponsible bastard. It looks great, but you were still too young.”

But not too young to be raped? “I needed it.”

“Why?”

“So men,” like you, “didn’t think they could take from me.”

“What men?”

“Men in general, thugs,” rapists.

“Did someone try to hurt you?” Chaz lifted a hand. “And I don’t mean me.”

“Yes.”

“Who?”

“My boss, or his thugs, and an ex friend.”

“Who was the friend?

“Someone who got squashed like his name.”

Chaz’s blond brows pulled together. “There was Joel, but it couldn’t be him cos he’s your cousin, plus that kid was your best mate, then there was Marko, but he was a nice boy so it couldn’t be him either, then there was... Squashed like an ant. Was it Ant Torres?”

“Yes.”

“What did he try to do to you?”

“Sumpthin’ similar to what you did.”

Chaz frowned. “He raped you?”

“Tried, but didn’t succeed.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed he was gay, but he was certainly a right shithead.”

“He still is; he’s a pimp now for male escorts. The prick must be raking in the dosh too, cos he lives in Herne Bay.”

“You’re kidding?”

Ash shook his head, remembering what Dante had said about Ant. A chick had taken his brother to a party without Dante realising it was Ant’s place. The bastard had cornered Dante, asking if he wanted to work for him as a male escort, offering him a motherload of money. Dante had replied with a punch, followed by a few more before Ant and his mates threw him out with a party-bag of bruises to take home. Ash frowned, thinking karma was a bitch for not giving Ant his dues. Yeah, Ant had lost his mates over what he did in high school, but the prick always seemed to bounce back.

“Looks like you went into the wrong business,” Chaz said.

“I wouldn’t sell people’s bodies.”

“Selling drugs is shit too.”

Says the rapist and murderer.

“I think being with me will do you good,” Chaz said. “It’ll get you away from all that nasty crap.”

Ash remained silent.

Chaz patted Ash’s chest and smiled. “I definitely like you better placid. It’s like when you were at fifteen. You were so sweet then.”

“I wuz never sweet.”

“Yes, you were.” Chaz pushed off the bed. “Now, you must be hungry, cos you didn’t eat all of your porridge.”

“I don’t wanna be drugged again.”

“I only did that so I could wash you, otherwise you would’ve gone berko.”

“You’re lying, you didn’t wash me; I smell the same.”

“O-fuckin’-kay! You caught me out, Einstein. I had some fun with you. Didja really wanna know that?”

Ash felt sick. “I don’t feel anything.”

Chaz rolled his eyes. “I didn’t fuck you; I promised I wouldn’t, didn’t I?”

“But you said—”

“I did other stuff.”

“Like what?!”

“Calm down, it was nuthin’ you should get upset over. And after what you did earlier, I wanted you to sleep longer. You woke up too soon.”

Ash yanked on the ropes, his plan to play it cool gone in an instant. “I’m more than upset, I wanna fuckin’ kill you!”

“Then you’ll never get outta those ropes.”

The rumble of a car came from outside, the sound heaven-sent. Before Chaz could stop him, Ash started screaming, “Help!” at the top of his lungs.

Chaz grabbed the duvet and shoved some into Ash’s mouth, almost making him choke. He tried to spit it out, but couldn’t, his breathing now panicked at the thought that someone could be outside and not know he was here.

Chaz peered through the curtains, then ran out of the room. Thuds and banging sounded throughout the house, then the front door slammed. A gunshot followed, then another and another...

Ash’s gaze stayed riveted to the door, praying that it was the police. His heart-rate picked up as another door closed followed by footsteps approaching the room. Then a figure appeared in the doorway. Ash cried out at the horror of seeing Chaz, his voice muffled by the duvet.

Holding a gun, Chaz walked over to Ash and pulled out the duvet from his mouth. “Two people are dead now cos of your big gob.” He looked down at Ash’s underwear. “And since you yelled for help, those will be coming off after I bury them.” He left the room, closing the door behind him. A few minutes later an engine fired up, then the sound of tyres crunching over gravel disappeared.

Ash closed his eyes, the thought of more people dying because of him tormenting his mind. He wished Chaz had spared them, and killed him instead, because there was no way he was going to survive if Chaz started raping him.

Creaking floorboards caught his attention, the sound of someone sneaking through the house. He opened his eyes, praying it was someone who could help him—and not Chaz, which it couldn’t be, because he hadn’t heard him return, everything outside quiet.

The door pushed open, then a figure stepped through. Ash gasped at the sight of Sledge’s mate.

“What the fuck?” Tama said.

***

Ash didn’t know how long they stared at each other for, both Tama and himself equally shocked: Ash at seeing Tama alive, and Tama no doubt seeing him tied to the bed almost naked.

“I thought you were dead,” Ash finally said.

“Why the fuck for?”

“Juliet told me you were killed in the prison riot.”

“Well, obviously, the ugly slag got things wrong.”

“Shut your mouth ’bout Juliet!”

Tama ran a hand over his tattooed head, the curls of the Māori pattern giving the impression of hair. “I can say what I bloody like ’bout her, cos you can’t do anything ’bout it.”

Ash tugged on the ropes, aching to wrap them around Tama’s neck and string him up. “Free me before Chaz comes back.”

“Nah ah, you look like you wanna kill me.” Tama came closer, the guy’s swagger over emphasised, like he was doing it on purpose to taunt Ash. Stopping next to the bed, his gaze swept Ash’s body, but without Chaz’s hunger, only curiosity colouring the kid’s face. “Man, Chaz is a sick motherfucker.” He smirked. “Or an Ashfucker.”

Ash yanked on the ropes again. “Untie me!”

“Again, nah ah, I’m not a dumbarse. So ... how did he get ya here? Cos I’ve gotta say, I didn’t expect you to go down against him—” Tama smirked again. “Go down, get it?”

“He drugged me, and you can’t leave me like this.”

“I’m not leaving, cos I owe the fucker death.” Tama turned to the window. A blood stained bandage covered the back of his head. He peeked through the curtains. “Damn lucky I came round the back way through farmland, otherwise he might’ve shot me too. I wonder who he killed.” He glanced back at Ash. “Do you know?”

Ash shook his head.

Tama looked back out the window. “I don’t really care, none of my biz, though better not be any of my relatives.” He frowned. “No, Chaz wouldn’t shoot my cuz, and anyway, Mikey doesn’t know ’bout this place, so all’s good. It wuz pro’bly just some poor schmuck turning up at the wrong place. Ha! Wrong place, wrong time. Never been truer—”

“Stop talking and untie me before he comes back. He’ll kill you.”

“Nope, I’m safe for now, I saw him drive down the creek track. He’s probably gonna dump whoever he killed, so my guess is he’ll be back anywhere from ten minutes onwards.”

“Then untie me.”

“Nah, I got a diff plan.”

“At least untie me partially.”

Tama turned back to him. “Untie me, untie me... Man, you’re like a broken record.”

“But you hafta free me.”

“I don’t hafta do nuthin’, and you can bloody stay like that. Call it payback for you trying to bash me when your ugly-arse sister jumped my dick. She’s the one who wanted a good fucking, not the other way round. That bitch looks like Sledge in drag, and there’s no way in hell my cock is goin’ anywhere near her willingly.”

Ash grimaced. Juliet hadn’t lied about Tama hurting her, it may not have been physical, but the insults Tama had thrown at her did more damage than any punch would have.

“I’m sorry for gettin’ things wrong,” Ash said, although he wasn’t. “I won’t hurt you, just lemme free and we can take care of Chaz together.”

“No, I’m killing him myself. And you can shut the fuck up if you wanna keep your arse cock free. I’ll call the pigs for you after I finish the prick off.” Tama ran a hand over his face and swore. “Man, why did he hafta come here, this is my stepdad’s place, not his. Now I hafta find another pad to hole up in.”

“Do ya have any weapons?” Ash asked.

Tama pulled out a switchblade from his trackpants.

“Don’t you have sumpthin’ better, like a gun?”

“Nah, I don’t know how to shoot, so I’m taking him down with this beauty.” Smiling, Tama flipped the knife in his hand. “Maybe when he’s trying to fuck you, I can stab him in the back.” He flipped the knife again, then nodded at the wardrobe. “I can wait in there and see what he tries to do to you, it might be amusing.”

Ash yanked on the ropes. “Lemme go!”

Tama sneered. “I wuz having you on, cos there’s no way in hell I’m watching a fag bang. And anyway, your bro wouldn’t forgive me if I let that shit happen, no matter how much you hurt him. Instead, I should give you a smack around for what you did to Sledge.”

“He attacked my mate,” Ash said, feeling guilty.

“So? Your mate is more important than your bro?”

Ash went quiet.

Tama shook his head. “So big bad Ash feels bad for bashing his li’l bro. Didn’t expect that. Kinda thought you had no fuckin’ feelings. Guess you do care ’bout Sledge after all.”

“Of course I care ’bout him.”

“Then the next time he does sumpthin’ you don’t like keep your fuckin’ fists to yourself, shithead!”

Ash dropped his gaze. “I won’t hurt him again, no matter what.”

“Good. Looks like you aren’t a heartless bastard after all. So, this is the plan. Before Uncle Homo returns I’ll hop into the wardrobe, then when he’s on top of you...” Tama held up a hand as Ash swore. “Wait a mo, I didn’t say I’d let him fuck you, just said when he’s on top of you. I need him distracted or I won’t be able to stab him. I’ve already tried once, and failed, I can’t afford for him to turn on me again. He almost killed me the first time.” Tama pointed to the bandage at the back of his head. “He bloody bashed my head against the ground, and it still hurts like fuck, so you hafta distract him.”

“Why can’t you hide behind the door and stab him when he walks in?”

“I already told you why.”

“I don’t see what difference it’ll make if you come up from behind when he walks in the door or when he’s on top of me.”

“Are you stupid? There’s a huge diff. It’s harder to move when you’re lying on someone, and he’ll be thinking with his cock, not his brain.”

“I don’t want him touching me.”

“Don’t blame you, but it’s what’s happening, so get with the plan or get fucked—literally.” Tama walked over to the wardrobe and kicked the broken pieces of mirror on the floor. “Looks like that nasty-arse bruise on your forehead came from this. Did he smash you against it?”

“No, I rammed it.”

Tama’s gaze flicked back to Ash, his expression surprised, then a smile lit up his face. “That’s so fuckin’ cool; I would’ve given anything to have seen it. I always did think you were a crazy motherfucker. I could never do sumpthin’ like that, I love life too much.”

“Life’s overrated.”

“But, aren’t you scared of death?”

Ash shook his head.

Tama laughed, “You’re cool, man. If you didn’t wanna kill me I would so love to be your mate. Maybe since I’m helping you out, we could be now.”

Ash glared at him. “No.”

“Shit, why the fuck not? I’m cool, and you’ll be able to get me more chicks than Sledge. They swarm round you and Dante. Go on, I’m helping you out big time here, which means you owe me.”

“Sure, you can be my mate,” until I get free, then I’ll bash your fuckin’ head in.

“Chur, bro.” Tama smiled, then pulled the wardrobe open, giving it a look in. “Good, it’s big enough.” He turned back to Ash. “When he’s completely focused on you, call out: Don’t hurt me. When that happens I’ll come out and stab him. Okay?”

“Can’t you—”

“No, do as you’re told.”

Ash nodded reluctantly, then tensed at the sound of someone walking over gravel outside. Tama got into the wardrobe, giving Ash one last look before shutting himself in.

A door banged, then less than a minute later Chaz walked into the bedroom, looking worn out. “Fuck, that was a bitch to do,” he said. “I drove the car further into the woods so we should be good for now, but someone might come looking, so best pack up. I’ve got another safe house up in Hokianga—” Chaz stopped talking, a frown spreading across his forehead. He glanced back at the door. “I know I shut that.” Pulling out his gun, Chaz locked the door, then checked under the bed. Once finished, he leaned over, whispering in Ash’s ear, “Was...” He glanced at the wardrobe. “Is someone here?”

“Not anymore. Tama showed up, but left. The bastard wouldn’t untie me, said I deserved to get fucked,” Ash replied, scared that Chaz would look in the wardrobe.

“Tama?”

Ash nodded.

“Did the cunt say where he was going?”

Ash shook his head.

Chaz frowned. “He must’ve come with the two I shot.”

“Who were they?”

“No one concerning you.” Chaz peered through the curtains, then turned back to Ash. “Do you remember what I said I’d do after I got back?”

Ash shook his head vigorously. “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

“Too late for sorries, two people are dead cos of you.” Chaz put the gun down on the bed, then grabbed Ash’s underpants.

“No!” Ash yelled.

Chaz yanked them down, then pulled out the knife from his pocket and cut the ropes binding Ash’s feet, removing the underpants in one go. Ash lifted his legs, ready to kick out, because there was no way in hell he was letting Chaz get on top of him. He didn’t care what Tama had said, it wasn’t happening.

“Nice view,” Chaz said.

“You ain’t touching me!”

With the knife in one hand and the gun in the other, Chaz moved to the top of the bed. “Don’t move while I cut you free,” he said, pointing the barrel at Ash’s crotch.

Ash stayed dead still, his eyes locked on the gun. When Chaz finished hacking the ropes, Ash moved his still bound arms in front of him.

“Roll onto your stomach,” Chaz said.

“No!”

Chaz leaned over and whispered into Ash’s ear. “Do as you’re told or I’ll shoot whoever’s in the wardrobe, and if you don’t make a noise I’ll let them live. Understand?”

Nodding, Ash rolled over, praying he wasn’t going to get fucked. He twisted his head, watching Chaz move down the bed.

“I’m really gonna enjoy this,” Chaz said, stopping next to the wardrobe. He raised the gun and reached for the door.

“Don’t hurt me!” Ash yelled at the top of his lungs, diverting Chaz’s attention away from the wardrobe.

Tama jumped out. Chaz turned and fired off a shot just as Tama knocked the gun to the side. Tama then barrelled into Chaz, taking both of them down while Ash rolled off the bed, ready to help him. Ash jumped back as another shot was fired, then stomped on Chaz’s ankle, causing his stepfather to holler in pain. Taking advantage of the distraction, Tama punched Chaz in the face over and over again until Chaz dropped the gun, then picked it up and aimed it at Chaz’s forehead, pulling the trigger with a bloodied smile.

The click of an empty cartridge set everything in motion again. Chaz knocked Tama backwards and lunged at him as Tama grabbed his knife. There was a grunt, then, from on top of Tama, Chaz looked up at Ash with wide eyes, his expression filled with shock. Ash’s name fell from his lips along with a trickle of blood, leaving a trail down the side of his chin.

Tama rolled Chaz off him and removed his knife from Chaz’s torso, the blade covered with blood. Ash turned his head as Tama raised the knife, not wanting to see Chaz die, although he didn’t understand why. He’d imagined killing Chaz so many times, in the most gruesome of ways, but with the sight of a knife about to go into his stepfather—the same way his mother had died, it tore Ash apart, making him want to stop it, but he didn’t. Karma. It wasn’t sweet, it was sick.

“You didn’t do as you were told!” Tama yelled at Ash. “You almost got me killed!”

Ash turned back, his gaze instantly going to Chaz, who lay still, with his torso and face painted in blood. “He knew you were in the wardrobe, I had to warn you. And you’re alive.”

Tama’s angry glare dropped to Chaz. “And he’s fuckin’ dead.”

“Feel his pulse,” Ash said, not quite believing it.

“No use, I stabbed him real good,” Tama said, holding out the knife. “So, you better be grateful, cos you owe me your life now, mate.”

Ash wanted to say he didn’t owe Tama shit, but refrained. “Call the cops for me,” he said, climbing over the bed, the sound of the chain around his waist a reminder of how much he still needed the cunt.

Tama frowned, his gaze travelling down Ash’s body, making Ash feel uncomfortable. “Sorry for saying that shit ’bout your arse,” Tama said. “It’s warped what that fuck did to you as a kid, no one deserves that. Sumpthin’ similar happened to my cousin Mikey, not with a male, but with his mum. Really sick what some people do to their own kids. I could never hurt a kid, especially not my own.”

Ash believed him, although he ached to point out that Tama was a rapist too.

Tama’s lip curled. “I know what you’re thinking, and don’t, Jess fucked me willingly then cried rape.”

“Why’re you making excuses?” Ash said, angry at the mention of his mate’s wife. “Are you ashamed or sumpthin’?”

Tama sniffed. “I ain’t ashamed of nuthin’. She wanted me, but wouldn’t admit to it.”

“You forced her.”

“I did not. It wuz all Nike’s fault. She should’ve been mine, not his!”

Ash pointed a finger at Tama. “You stay away from her,” he said, wishing his wrists were freed.

Tama sneered. “I can do whatever I like and you can’t do shit, motherfucker. So, if you want me to call the pigs for you, tell me you believe me.”

Ash shook his head.

Tama raised his brows. “You wanna die in this room, with the rotting carcass of your rapist?”

“I won’t degrade what Jess went through. Rape destroys people. I wanted to die so many times, and Jess is like that too. She won’t kill herself cos of her pregnancy, but I can see it in her eyes, the desire for everything to stop. You did that to her, you fuckin’ rapist scum, you took her choice away, you made her feel like a worthless piece of meat with no feelings, nuthin’ but a fuck toy for your perverted entertainment. So, don’t fuckin’ call the cops, I’d rather die than pretend she isn’t goin’ through hell.”

Tama stared back.

“I’m sick of looking at rapists,” Ash said, taking a step forward, readying himself to ram Tama.

Tama reached back and unlocked the door, quickly opening it. “But I helped you.”

“And you’ll help yourself to Jess again if I don’t do anything,” Ash said, glancing at the knife in Tama’s hand.

“I’m not interested in her anymore.”

“You’re lying.”

“Believe what you want,” Tama said, raising the knife. “But if you attack me like that you’ll lose.”

“I don’t care!”

“Then rot in hell, fucker!”

Ash ducked as Tama threw the knife at him, the blade nicking his arm, then rushed at Tama, who took off, running for the back of the house. Ash chased after him, yelling at Tama he was going to fucking die! Tama burst through the back door, propelling himself over the steps and landing on the lawn in a crouch. Ash launched himself after him, but got yanked back by the chain, making him fall on the steps. Tama pushed up, his eyes wild, his breathing heavy.

Ash got to his feet. “You’re a fuckin’ coward! Come here and fight me!”

“Fuck no!” Tama hollered back. “You’re a crazy motherfucker.”

“Pussy, pussy, pussy,” Ash taunted, hoping Tama would lose it and attack him. Even with his hands tied, he knew he could take the bastard down.

“You fuck up!” Tama took a step forward.

“You’re still outta my reach, pussy. Not so tough without a knife, are ya? Meow.”

“I helped you!”

“Is this helping me?” Ash raised his arm and licked the blood off it, enjoying Tama’s freaked out reaction. “It tastes like you tried to kill me.”

“You threatened me! I wuz defending myself.”

“Do ya think Sledge will think that when I tell him you tried to kill me?”

Tama clenched his hands, the look on his face furious, but he remained out of head-butting reach like the coward Ash knew he was. Tama had always run from him, never sticking around to fight.

“Sledge will believe me!” Tama shouted.

“Puuussssyyy, come and geeeeet me.”

“Fuck you, I ain’t goin’ anywhere near you, you crazy motherfucker. EVER!” Tama flicked him the finger, then turned and disappeared into the pine trees.

“Coward!”

“Faggot!” Tama shouted back, but he was long gone, only his voice filtering back through the forest.

Shaking his head, Ash returned to the bedroom, heading for the knife. Tama had definitely intended on killing him, because the blade was wedged into the wall like Arthur’s sword in stone. He started see-sawing the rope along the knife’s edge, freeing himself. He then went to his stepfather, wanting to make sure that Chaz was dead. He reached for the man’s wrist, but pulled back, afraid to touch him. Cursing himself for being a pussy, he reached out again and fumbled for a pulse, relieved when he couldn’t find one. He got up and sat on the bed, still not believing his stepfather was dead—that his nightmare was just as fallible as he was.

He didn’t know how long he sat staring at Chaz, but the sound of cars arriving broke the spell. He got up and pulled back the curtains, watching as two police cars came to a halt. Cops piled out with guns in hand, not the usual police, but the armed division swathed in black from head to toe.

Ash let go of the curtain as he heard them enter the house, shouts of warning accompanying them. He looked down at his body, then snatched up the duvet, covering himself before they burst through the doorway with their guns raised at the ready. The first cop lowered his weapon and headed for Ash, while the second one moved to the foot of the bed to check on Chaz. “We need ambo now!” he yelled into his radio, making Ash nervous, the urgency in the man’s voice suggesting that Chaz was still alive, that he could be saved.

The sound of more vehicles entering the property came from out the front. Ash ignored the cop talking to him as he watched paramedics enter the room with a stretcher. They lifted Chaz onto it, their bodies crowding over him, then a few seconds later they were carrying him out the door. No, Chaz had to be dead, because he didn’t feel a pulse, plus Tama had stabbed him twice and the blood, fuck, there was so much blood. Ash looked down at his hands, noticing some had gotten onto him. He started wiping it on the duvet, frantic to get it off.

The cop took his arm. “Ash, sit down.”

Ash sat down, wondering how the man knew his name. The cop pulled off his headgear and goggles. He had shorn brown hair with a large nose and stunning green eyes, which reminded Ash of someone, although he couldn’t remember who.

The cop touched Ash’s forehead gently. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Ash shook his head.

“Did you do that to your stepfather?”

Ash shook his head again. He wanted to ask how the man knew Chaz was his stepfather, but was unable to speak. He also wanted to tell him about Tama, but all he did was stare at the man’s stunning eyes.

“Then who stabbed your stepfather?”

Ash’s gaze flicked to the doorway as two new paramedics entered.

The cop stood up. “He’s in shock with trauma to the head. Put him on a stretcher.”

The paramedics laid the stretcher on the floor, then the first one, a tall blond male reminding Ash of Chaz, approached him. Ash yelled at him to back off. The man held up his hands and took a step back.

“Ash,” the cop said, getting his attention. “He’s not gonna hurt you. He wants to help.”

Without a word, Ash lifted the duvet, showing him the chain.

The cop’s eyes went round. “Jesus Christ,” he gasped.

Feeling ashamed, Ash re-covered himself. He didn’t care about what Tama thought, but having other people know what he’d been through made him feel repulsive.

“Lift the duvet, I’ll unlock it,” the cop said.

Ash did as instructed, watching the man open the lock with ease, using something similar to a Swiss knife.

“Ash, go lie on the stretcher,” the cop said, re-pocketing the knife.

“How do ya know my name?” Ash finally asked.

“Your brother phoned through, told us ’bout this place.”

“Which brother?”

“Dante, but I still would’ve recognised you. You look so much like your uncle you could be his son.”

“Uncle Luka?”

The cop nodded. “Yeah, he’s one of my best mates, known him since high school. That’s the thing about small towns, we know everyone here.” He frowned. “I remember seeing you at your mother’s funeral, but you probably don’t remember me.”

Ash closed his eyes, the memory returning. The cop had been one of six men who’d carried out his mother’s coffin. Bright green eyes had looked at him so sadly, almost as though the man’s heart had been broken.

Ash opened his eyes. “Did you love my mother?”

The cop looked surprised. “Yes, I did, but she didn’t return it.”

“She made a mistake.”

The cop smiled sadly. “Thanks.” He removed his sunglasses from his pocket and held them out for Ash to take. “It’s bright outside, you should put these on.”

Ash did as instructed, only just realising he’d been crying.

The cop patted his shoulder. “Now, onto the stretcher.”

Ash lay down on it, making sure the duvet covered his body, then the paramedics lifted him and carried him out.

35

Dante

Dante drove over Dargaville Bridge, the water below a pale brown and blue mix. Farmland stretched for miles behind the car, the Northern Wairoa River separating it from the sleepy township of Dargaville. The pastel bungalows, the colonial homesteads and other weatherboard houses were spread out—the quarter-acre-dream still preserved—taking Dante back to a different era, a time before he was born.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier,” Beth said, breaking the silence that had lasted since they’d left Auckland. “I shouldn’t have told you ’bout my fantasies. Considering everything that’s happened, it wuz insensitive and totally inappropriate, but I just wanted to let you know you didn’t do anything wrong, I just wish I’d said it better.”

Dante nodded. “Apology accepted.”

“Thank you.” She went silent for a moment, then: “Can I ask you sumpthin’?”

He glanced at her. “Yeah, what?”

“Did Chaz sexually abuse you too?”

“No, why would you ask that?”

She appeared uncomfortable, like she didn’t want to reply.

“Beth?”

“It’s how you behave sometimes.” She cleared her throat. “Ash does the brooding thing, whereas you’re wild. You two may act differently, but you’re both similar in your extremes, plus you’re promiscuous.”

He grunted, a little annoyed. “You’re onto that shit ’bout me being a slut again, aren’t cha?”

“No, this is not about me calling you names; it’s about the way you act around both women and men. You flirt with everyone, and almost everything you do or say has a sexual overtone. You can be eating perfectly innocently in a restaurant, then when someone catches your eye, you purposely lick the spoon or knife in a sexual manner—or even worse, that time with the breadstick. That poor waiter at my birthday lunch looked so embarrassed.”

“That’s cos he came in his pants,” Dante laughed.

“It’s not funny, and you shouldn’t treat people like sexual objects. It’s as though you’re working out in your mind how you can do them.”

“I haven’t fucked a bloke before, well, apart from their faces, but if I go whole hog I’ll let ya watch,” he said, wanting to goad her.

“Dante!”

He started laughing. “Don’t have a hernia, I wuz having ya on, I’m not interested in that shit.”

“But they don’t know that with the way you flirt with them, cos if I didn’t know your sexual preferences I wouldn’t be able to tell either.”

“So what? It’s fun, and some of them bring it on themselves. That waiter wouldn’t stop staring at me, and why are you so wound up about it, cos everyone else thought it wuz funny.”

“Me and Juliet didn’t.”

“Cos you both don’t have a sense of humour,” he said, stopping at a give-way sign.

“He gave you his number, which meant you would’ve hurt his feelings when you didn’t call.”

Dante laughed again. “Sucker.”

“This is not funny. That wuz mean. You’re like a sexual predator, stalking your prey.”

“Stalking my prey? That’s just spastic. And he slipped me his number, not the other way round.”

“You do stalk people. You did it to me in the dining-room. You were so scary. I’m not saying it didn’t turn me on, but at the beginning I thought you were goin’ to hit me—”

“I would never hit a woman!”

“I know that, but you gave the impression that you would, and you were so sexually aggressive, which makes me think you were sexually abused.”

“I guess you’re right ’bout me being sexually abused.”

“I knew it.”

“Cos that naked photo you took of me could be counted as sexual abuse.” He glanced to see her reaction, and as expected her face dropped.

“I apologised for that.”

He started driving again. “I know, but I’m still pissed with you over it, cos it bloody went viral. After that photo, people started seeing me as public property.”

“What do ya mean?”

“I got groped more after that. Free to touch and use as they please—public property. I even had a few chicks ask for my autograph like I wuz some sort of porn star, while another one tried to have her friend film us while we were having sex. I caught her in the closet.” He glanced at Beth.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, looking horrified. “You should report them.”

He shrugged. “Nah, I’m used to it now, plus sometimes it’s my own fault.”

“Why’s it your fault?”

“You already know why: I lead people on. It gives me a boner knowing how much they want me, but they can’t do anything about it, which is why it’s even more fun doin’ it to gay guys, cos I’m never tempted to go with them. Though, it’s gotten me into shit a few times, cos guys don’t like being cock-teased.”

“What happened?”

“I’ve had a few get aggressive. Mix alcohol with being turned down after being turned on and you get trouble.”

“They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

“Don’t worry ’bout it, I’ve been hurt worse than what any of those twats tried to do.”

“Like with Chaz?”

“S’pose so. He ripped into me really bad.”

“He raped you too!”

“No, he only beat me up.”

“Why did he beat you up?”

“Cos I tried to stab him when I caught him raping Ash.”

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, Dante.”

Dante shrugged, not feeling comfortable with her sympathy.

“Is that the reason?” she said.

He glanced at her. “The reason for what?”

“Why you did me that way. You were mimicking what Chaz did to Ash.”

He planted his foot on the brake, making them both jolt forward. “What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t have a right to ask me that!”

“Maybe not, but I think you’re continuing what Chaz did, but in your own way.”

“Hell no!”

Her lips pulled tight. “You pro’bly don’t do it consciously, but the way you pushed me onto my front, then entered violently made me think—”

“Then stop thinking! You’ve only just apologised for offending me, now you goin’ the whole hog and doin’ a helluva lot worse.”

“Then talk to a psychiatrist ’bout it.”

“No! Cos I’m not like Chaz! I don’t rape people. Why’re you doin’ this to me?”

“I’m not doin’ it to upset you, but cos I want to understand why you act certain ways. My aunty’s a psychiatrist and she says a lot of promiscuous people have had traumatic things happen to them—usually sexual, like what you’ve experienced. I asked her some advice ’bout how you act and she—”

“You don’t have a right to talk about me behind my back, and especially not to some damned psychiatrist who twists everything around to fit their fuckin’ stereotypes. I’m not a stereotype, and I’m not like Chaz!”

“I know you’re not like Chaz, but you’re just as damaged, and I know it’s bothering you.”

“No, you’re bothering me!” Beeping made him jump. He glanced behind, realising he’d stopped in the middle of the road. He started driving again. “Damaged, my fuckin’ arse. How ’bout you keep your shit opinions to yourself, cos I’ve had enough of them.”

He turned down the next road, passing the small Catholic school Sledge and Juliet had gone to, with the triangular-shaped church next to it.

Beth started talking again, “But it makes sense.”

He threw a glare at her. “If it makes so much sense, then explain why you have rape fantasies. Does that mean you’ve been raped or have you seen a rape?”

“No, neither.”

“Then how I fuck has got nuthin’ to do with that sick paedo. And I am not a paedo.”

“You’re taking this totally wrong. I never said you were, but the way you were so forceful during sex still suggests that you could be mimicking Chaz.”

“Jesus! Stop saying that, cos it’s insulting and disgusting, and I’m not like that!” He put his foot on the brake, almost slamming into the back of a car waiting to turn. “Do you have any idea how I try to purge that image from my head of Chaz on top of Ash. My brother looked fuckin’ dead! And what Chaz wuz doin’ wuz the most repulsive thing I’ve ever seen. There’s no way in hell I would copy that.”

“But your sex life isn’t normal, Dante—”

“My sex life wuz never normal, so shut the fuck up.” He resumed driving, regretting not yanking her out of the car when he had the chance. Yeah, he took what he wanted like Chaz did, but that was as far as it went, he WASN’T a rapist, because Beth said it was consensual. And he always stopped with Kara, that woman hurting him more than he ever did her.

“When didja start having sex?” Beth asked.

“Is my sex life the only thing you wanna talk to me about? Cos you seem to be having serious issues asking me these fucked up questions.”

“How old were you?”

“Thirteen, okay. Are you happy now?”

“That’s really young.”

“I don’t think so.”

“It is to me, cos I wuz twenty-two when I lost my virginity.”

Surprised, he glanced at her, then looked back at the road as they left Dargaville and headed into farmland again. “Ash wuz your first?”

“Yes.”

“No wonder you’re repressed.”

“I am not repressed, cos even you were shocked with what I wanted to do.”

He sneered, happy he’d turned the tables on her. “You are repressed, cos everything with you is a fantasy, nuthin’ is real. I betcha masturbate while reading your books.” He started imitating a woman’s voice. “Oh fuck me harder, Flabio, oh yes, oh no, but we shouldn’t, you’re too big and I’m a virgin, but oh, you fit so right, but we still mustn’t, we’re not married, but oh, oh, oh, yes, yes, YES!”

“You’re horrible! Why do ya hafta be so mean?”

“That’s not being mean, but I can show ya mean if you ask nicely.”

“See, you’re turning things sexual again.”

“I wuzn’t being sexual, you’re taking what I said the wrong way.” He reached out and grabbed her pussy, making her squeal. Grinning, he removed his hand. “Now, that wuz sexual.”

“You’re an arsehole,” she said, breathing heavily as she straightened her skirt.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell ya. So, keep your lily white soul, and find some knight in shining armour who’ll treat you like the princess you are, instead of someone who grabs your pussy.”

“No, I still want you.”

He grunted a laugh. “Then expect hell, cos you won’t be gettin’ heaven from me, especially if you insist on analysing everything I do.”

“You’ve sent me to heaven twice so far, then put me in hell right after, so I expect both, and will take both, if it means I get to have you.”

He shook his head. “Then you’re more fucked in the head than I am, cos I ain’t worth the trouble.”

“You are to me, I love you.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do, and you can’t change that.”

“Maybe I don’t wanna change it, cos I’m a fucktard who loves you too.” He glanced at her smile, then looked ahead as sirens caught his attention. A minute later a cop car and ambulance headed towards him, quickly followed by another cop car. With dread filling his gut, Dante pulled over to the side of the road, his mind instantly going to Ash. “Phone,” he barked at Beth. He snatched it off her as she passed it over, then dialled through to his Uncle Luka, getting him on the third ring.

“Have they found Ash?” Dante blurted out.

“Yes, they’re taking him to the hospital,” his uncle replied.

“Chaz didn’t... Please tell me Ash is alright.”

“He’s alive, that’s all I know. I’m on my way to see him right now. Where are you?”

“Near Maitahi.”

“Good, I’ll meet you at the hospital. And don’t ring Dida until we know Ash is alright. The old man’s heart won’t take another shock,” his uncle said, talking about Dante’s grandfather.

“Okay, see ya soon.” Dante hung up and threw the phone on Beth’s lap, then did a U-turn, heading for the local hospital.

“Please tell me Ash is okay,” Beth said, her voice high-pitched.

“I don’t know, but looks like he wuz pro’bly in that ambulance, so pray to your God, cos I ain’t fuckin’ losing him.”

***

Dante entered the main foyer, instantly spotting his Uncle Luka by the nurses’ station. His mother’s brother was leaning over the counter, pointing at something in front of the nurse, jabbing it hard.

“Uncle Luka!” Dante called out with Beth tailing him.

His uncle looked up, the man an older version of him and Ash, but with blue-grey eyes instead of dark brown. And he was much scruffier with his permanently wind-swept hair as well as his ripped jeans and shirt. He was also shoeless—more at home on a surfboard than solid ground.

His uncle barrelled into him, giving Dante one of his famous bear-hugs, the type that rattled your bones, but never intentionally. Dante hugged him back, then pulled away, more interested in seeing Ash than family reunions. “Take me to Ash.”

“Just a sec, the nurse was checking for his room.” His uncle threw a stern look at the young nurse, who appeared flustered.

“Yes, sir, I found it,” she said, holding out a piece of paper.

His uncle took it, giving the woman an apologetic smile, like he was already regretting snapping at her. He then headed for the corridor, both Dante and Beth running to keep up with him, his long legs chewing up ground fast.

At the other end of the corridor, a black-clad policeman stood outside of a room. He turned to face them, Dante recognising his uncle’s best friend.

“Max, is Ash alright?” his uncle asked his mate.

“Considering what he’s been through, he’s doing remarkably well. But he’s still in shock, so when you see him be aware that he may not acknowledge you.” The cop lifted his chin at Dante. “G’day, Dante, good to see you again.”

Dante nodded, having seen the man twice before when he’d visited his uncle, the cop’s green eyes memorable.

“Your directions were good,” the cop continued, talking about Dante’s phone call. “Just sad we didn’t get there earlier, not only for your brother’s sake, but because your stepfather killed two plain-clothed officers. They weren’t even after him; they were following a sighting of a different escaped prisoner seen cutting through farmland.”

“Another prisoner?”

“Yes, the person who stabbed your stepfather.”

“Did he hurt Ash?”

“No.”

“Who wuz he?”

“You can ask your brother that, because he seemed to know him.” The cop stepped aside.

Dante turned to Beth. “Wait out here.”

She nodded and headed over to a seat, for once not giving him problems.

Dante followed his uncle into Ash’s room, closing the door behind them, the small space only occupied by Ash. His brother looked up at them, his eyes rimmed with red and his head wrapped in gauze. He had a hospital gown on and was sitting up in bed, biting his thumb nail like it deserved to be destroyed. Dante almost felt scared to talk to him, not wanting his thoughts about what Chaz had done confirmed.

Their uncle broke the silence. “How’re you holding up, Ash?”

“I’m alive.”

Dante grimaced, wondering whether Ash wished he wasn’t. “Can I please talk to Ash alone, Uncle Luka?”

Their uncle nodded. “I’ll be right outside if you need me?” he said, then left, closing the door behind him.

Ash looked out the window as Dante pulled up a chair and sat down. They stayed like that for shit knows how long before Ash finally spoke again. “I tried to kill myself again.”

Dante tensed. “Did he rape you?” he asked softly.

“No, but he did other things that were close. He...” Ash breathed out. “He would’ve though, just wuz trying to justify it, making out like I would eventually consent. But he definitely fucked with my head. He had me chained and tied up, even said he would keep me like that until I died if I didn’t do what he wanted. He drugged me and sexually abused me. He made me want to die, I even begged for death, asked him to kill me. Now they tell me he’s not dead. I should’ve double-checked.” Ash lay down and turned over, the look in his eyes sad. “Almost dead is not good enough. Find out what room he’s in, cos I need to see him one last time.”

Dante shook his head. “Hell no, if you kill him you’ll end up in prison. You ain’t goin’ there after what you’ve been through, he is. That’s if he survives whatever that prisoner did to him.”

“It wuz Tama.”

“Didja just say Tama?” Dante asked, not believing his ears.

“Yes, he’s alive and roaming about, so you needa warn Nike.”

Dante ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus, one rapist goes down and another rises. We can’t bloody win.”

“We never win, that’s our problem, we let men abuse us all the time and don’t do anything about it until it’s too late.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“Chaz isn’t the only sick fuck who’s affected our lives negatively, Craven has too, and everything that is involved with him, like the Joneses. And I won’t put up with it anymore, which means we’re quitting the business.”

Dante felt like Ash had sucker-punched him, what his brother was saying basically a death warrant. He shook his head. “No fuckin’ way, you know what Craven will do to us, and if you wanna quit, I’ll take over—he doesn’t hafta know it’s just me doin’ things.”

“Do ya really wanna sell drugs?”

“It’s never bothered me.”

“Well, it bothers me, and has since I started it. And if I died Craven would only cry over losing a cut of his revenue. No, Tiana and Angelo are my concern. And since Hunter signed that bloody house under my name, I’m selling it and he can live with it cos it’s his debt we’re paying off. I’m also gonna ask for a loan from Dida and Uncle Luka to pay back the rest of what Hunter owes that bastard. And Craven better take the money or I’ll load a fuckin’ gun and go shoot the bastard, cos I’m not having any more men rule my life.”

“But I told ja, I’ll take over.”

“Alone? I don’t think so.”

“Sledge could help.”

“No fuckin’ way! You’re not dragging him into this shit. I’ve managed to keep Craven away from him, you’re not ruining that.”

“We got dragged into his father’s problems, not the other way round.”

“That is not Sledge’s fault, and he doesn’t even know Hunter’s his father. And that’s another thing. Sledge and Juliet needa be told they’re adopted. We can’t keep hiding this from them, they have a right to know who their real parents are.”

“But you said—”

“I know what I said, and I wuz wrong. Even though I love Hunter like a father, he should be treating the twins like his children, not me. I will tell Hunter ’bout what’s happening, and if he doesn’t accept it, then so be it, I will do it anyway, cos he’s not stealing their heritage anymore. They can’t go through life wondering why they don’t look like us, and why Father treats them differently. They may not be our siblings, but as cousins they are still blood. But, I also want them to know that I will always call them my brother and sister, no matter what.”

Dante nodded. “They’ll always be my sis and bro too.”

“Good.” Ash breathed out. “I’m cleaning up shop here, and goin’ to turn things around. There will be trouble cos of it, both with Craven, Hunter and the twins, but it needs to be done, cos I’m not playing Russian roulette with our lives any more. And as for Tiana, I want to move to Howick with her and Angelo.”

“Howick? Why there?”

“It has good schooling and is a safe, lovely place with lots of beaches and low crime. I want the best for my son.”

“How’re you gonna support yourself if you’re not selling?”

“I hafta speak with Tiana ’bout that. She may not even want it, but I’m gonna try to convince her it’s the best thing for all of us, and she can’t say Howick’s a bad place, cos it’s not, and it’s miles better than where she lives.”

Dante smiled softly. “Which means you’re not gonna attempt suicide again?”

“True. I wanna live for my family. Chaz is not taking them away from me, and whether he lives or dies, he’s not fucking with my brain again. I wanna make sumpthin’ of my life and not be one of those people who are a drain on society. I’m gonna start painting again, and I also wanna go back to school to finish what I dropped out of. So, whatever I do from now on rests with me, not Chaz, not Craven, not Father or Hunter. Me. This is my life and I’m finally gonna live it the way I want.”

Dante’s smile widened. “Good. Then we’ll do it together, starting with Craven. I’ll ask Uncle Luke and Dida for the loan, then we’ll face the twins together after we get back, say Saturday, then you can sort things out with Tiana.”

Ash held out a hand. “Thanks, bro.”

Dante took the offered hand. “You’re more than welcome, and if you needa talk ’bout anything come to me.”

Ash nodded, his face clouding over like he was back with Chaz, the struggle in his features telling Dante things weren’t going to be easy for his brother. Ash gripped Dante’s hand tighter, his expression clearing again, his action saying he was a survivor.

“I won’t see Chaz again.” Ash cleared his throat. “And since I didn’t feel a pulse, I’m gonna think of him as dead, so I’m not gonna worry ’bout him coming near me again.”

Dante nodded. “Good.” Now he just needed to do the same: To kill Chaz in his mind, and to live his own life without his memories interfering. He didn’t think he would ever completely heal from what he saw, but the wound wasn’t raw, just healed over with a raised scar, that was sometimes visible through his actions. But he would try to control himself, and also try to stop before he took things too far—because he wasn’t Chaz. He would never be that sick. Ever.

36

Sledge

Thursday

The doorbell rang. Sledge got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, wishing whoever it was would piss off, because he wanted to visit Corey in hospital. He hadn’t seen him for a few days, because he’d gone up to Dargaville with Juliet to check on Ash, his brother doing better than expected. But Sledge was disgusted with the police for allowing Chaz to be in the same hospital. Yeah, the man was barely breathing and was probably going to die, but it still wasn’t right.

The doorbell went off again. Sledge wished Naf would bloody get it, but he knew his mate wouldn’t. The cops had arrested Aroha for being an accomplice, which had sent Naf into a depression, meaning the only time he emerged from his room was for a piss or the other type in a bottle. Naf was now living on a liquid diet, the type that made his room stink like a brewery.

Sledge trudged towards the front door, his hair dripping water down his back. The bell went off again. “Will ya hold on?” you impatient cunt. He opened the door a fraction, surprised to find Stella standing on his doorstep, looking like she wanted to puke, which probably explained why she was at the hospital the other day. But why was she here? He’d told her after their drunken one-night-stand that he wasn’t interested in a relationship... Actually, no, that happened after Corey had found out. At the time he’d been really pissed off with Corey for standing in his way, because Stella was a great lay, the morning-after fuck definitely memorable, but now he didn’t mind, if anything he was grateful, because he’d pick Corey over Stella any day.

“Yes, what do ya want?” he said a bit too gruffly.

“To talk to you,” Stella replied, looking like she’d lost weight, which she couldn’t afford to, her pale legs and arms practically sticks, ready to snap if the wind blew too hard. She was dressed in a short denim skirt and a leopard print tank top, the outfit making her look like she’d stepped out of Outrageous Fortune—the West Auckland white trash drama.

“Why do ya wanna talk to me for?” Sledge asked, opening the door wider.

Her gaze moved to his bare chest, which was at eye level for her, the girl even shorter than Corey. Sledge smiled. He was starting to relate everything to Corey now, and he didn’t mind it at all, the little cutie constantly on his mind.

Stella smiled back, probably thinking his expression was for her. “Can I come inside first?” she asked, her hands fidgeting like she was knitting air.

Nodding, Sledge stepped aside, thinking if she didn’t sit down soon she was going to keel over.

Stella headed straight for the couch and planted her skinny arse on it, although he was sure she’d prefer to have her face in the loo, throwing up.

“I don’t meana be rude, but you really look like shit,” he said.

“Thanks, Sledge, you really are a charmer.”

Sledge shrugged. “You know what I mean; you look like you wanna chunder.”

“That’s cos I’m pregnant.”

“Congrats I guess, or commiserations, whichever fits the bill.”

“It’s your baby.”

Sledge’s face dropped. No, it didn’t just drop, it plummeted right through the floor and went straight to Hell. “No fuckin’ way,” he said, barely forming the words.

“Yes, fucking way, that’s the point, you fucked me, now I’m preggers.”

Sledge breathed in, trying to grab as much oxygen as he could before he keeled over. She couldn’t be pregnant... Shit! Corey was going to kill him. He raised his hands to his head. “This can’t be happening; this can’t be happening...”

“You’re not the one puking your guts out,” Stella snapped. “So, stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

“But it can’t be mine.”

“Well, it is.”

“No, it has to be someone else’s; I can’t have been the only one.”

She bit her lip, looking like she was about to cry. “You are.”

“But what about your ex?”

She burst into tears. “Z-Zane’s de-dead.”

Sledge winced, realising he’d put his gigantic foot into his gigantic mouth. Ash had told him Tama was alive, and last night on the news he’d heard that it was Zane who had died in the riot, the mix up with his age having caused the confusion. “Um, sorry,” although he wasn’t, because Zane had shot his mate Mikey, almost killing him. “You sure it’s still not his?”

“I-I-I’m eight weeks pregnant, so it can’t be,” she snivelled.

Dammit! Zane had been arrested and thrown into prison about three months ago.

Her sobbing grew louder.

Sledge glanced at the passage doorway, then went to sit next to Stella, hoping Naf didn’t come out. “Don’t cry,” he said, patting her lap, and feeling like a doofus for doing it.

She grabbed him around the neck and buried her face into it, her crying intensifying. Sledge held his hands out, not knowing what to do. He wanted to pry her off him, but didn’t want to upset her more.

“Um...” He patted her back. “Sorry. Um, shit, um, do ya want sumpthin’ to drink or a tissue?”

She shook her head, still holding him tight, the fact he was half-naked making him feel even more uncomfortable.

“Do ya want me to call someone for you?” he asked.

“No, I just need you.”

“Why? I hardly know you.”

She pulled back a little, though she still kept a death grip on him, like she was scared he was going to take off—which he was seriously considering.

“I like you,” she said.

“Yeah, so? I like Keira Knightley, but I don’t do nuthin’ ’bout it.”

“You didn’t get her pregnant.”

“Wish I did, then I wouldn’t be poor,” he said, hoping to lighten the mood before it hit pitch black.

She didn’t even smile, just stared at him with her pale blue eyes, which looked so big in her tear streaked pixie-face, her short blonde hair framing it all perfectly. Even sick she was so fucking cute, which was probably why his bastard of a cock was already betraying him as it saluted her beneath his towel. He cursed it in his head, telling the prick it was the cause of all his bloody trouble.

She looked down at it, then back at him, her expression almost relieved. “I thought that since I’m pregnant with your baby we could see each other, and maybe, possibly, I could live with you.”

So, this was what this was about: She wanted him to support her. He grabbed her arms and pulled them off him. “No, I’m unemployed, so I can’t raise a baby, and I’ve got a ...” boyfriend, “girlfriend, so you can’t live with me.”

“I’m not asking for you to pay anything, I can support myself. All I need is a place to stay, cos my parents have kicked me out. And you should take a part in your baby’s life, and you said you liked me, so why can’t you drop whatever skank you’re with to be with me? We were great together.”

“It wuz a one-night-stand, and having great sex doesn’t mean we should be together.”

“But, I’ve never had a guy act like you did, which means you must really be into me.”

“I didn’t act any differently than I do with any other chick I’ve rooted.”

“It wasn’t just a root! Don’t make it sound so vulgar.”

“I wuzn’t making love, if that’s what you’re gettin’ at.”

“But, it felt like it.”

“Well, it couldn’t have been cos I didn’t stick around, and I love my ... girlfriend.”

“You can’t have been with her that long, unless you cheated with me.”

“I’ve only just starting dating hi... her. And we were friends a long time before we got together.”

“But, you got me pregnant.”

Sledge held up his hands. “Hold up, you lemme fuck you, so don’t put this all on me.”

“Please, Sledge, I don’t wanna raise the baby on my own.” She placed a hand on his chest, her big eyes begging. Her fingers ran down his stomach and landed on his now, not so interested cock, the beggar also thinking this wasn’t a good idea.

He pushed her hand away. “I’ve already told you I’m with someone, so quit it.”

She grabbed the top of the towel, the look in her eyes no longer innocent. “C’mon, Sledgey, I bet I’m better than this other chick.”

He grabbed her wrist with one hand and the towel with the other. “Let go of the fuckin’ towel.” Before he could react, she seized his head and kissed him, trying to stick her tongue into his mouth. He let go of the towel and grabbed her other hand, pulling her off him.

“What the fuck are you doin’?” Naf hollered.

Sledge looked over his shoulder at his very pissed—in more ways than one—mate. “I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me,” Sledge said, jumping up, and in the process losing his towel to Stella’s grip. “Fuck!” He turned around and grabbed it off her, accidentally waving his cock in her face. He pulled the towel around his waist and ran after Naf, who was already on his way back to his bedroom.

“Naf, you’ve gotta believe me.”

Naf spun around, his face and neck red with anger, and his breath reeking with alcohol. “You’re a fuckin’ bastard, Sledge.”

“I already told you I didn’t return the damn kiss! She launched herself at me.”

“You were naked!”

“She grabbed the towel offa me! And if you’d answered the fuckin’ door while I wuz in the shower this wouldn’t have happened.”

“I heard no doorbell! You’re lying.”

“That’s cos you lock yourself up in that stink-hole and ignore everything and everyone,” until now! “I. Didn’t. Cheat. On. Corey. I love him!”

“You’re gay?” Stella gasped behind him.

Sledge spun around. “Shit!” He raised his hands to his head, then quickly grabbed the towel as it slipped. “Why won’t you leave me alone?”

“Cos you got me pregnant.”

“You did what?!” Naf yelled behind him.

Sledge turned back. “It wuz a coupla months ago, and Corey already knows what happened.”

“I doubt he knows she’s pregnant. You should’ve told him.”

“I only just found out, and it might not even be mine.”

“It is yours!” Stella yelled. “And you can’t be gay, you were great in bed.”

“Just shut up!” Sledge took off to his room, slamming the door behind him. He needed to get to Corey, because there was no way in hell this was going to ruin things between them. He threw his towel on the floor and opened a drawer to pull out his underwear. As he grabbed them Stella barged into his room, followed by Naf.

“Get out!” Sledge hollered. “I’m naked.”

“You sure are,” she said smiling, which resulted in both him and Naf yelling at her.

Sledge pulled on his underwear, then grabbed his jeans from the closet, jumping into them as quickly as he could. As Stella and Naf argued, he threw on a shirt, hoodie and his leather jacket, stuffed his wallet into a pocket, then snatched up his keys and pushed past the two short-arses.

At the front door, he jammed his feet into his boots and snatched up his helmet, while the other two followed, telling him to stop. Like hell, he was out of here.

He pulled on his helmet, then opened the front door, hot-tailing it to his motorbike. He jumped on it and took off, praying that Corey wasn’t going to rip him a new hole.

***

Corey was sitting up in bed with his broken leg down when Sledge got to the hospital, the look on his mate’s boyfriend’s face not happy. Sledge prayed that Naf hadn’t rung through.

The frown left Corey’s face as soon as he saw Sledge. “God, I missed you.”

Sledge grabbed the curtains and pulled them across.

Corey’s frown returned. “What’s wrong? Is your bro—”

“Ash is doin’ okay.”

“Then why do you look upset?”

“Sumpthin’ happened, and I had no idea, I really didn’t, and it wuz before you and I decided to become you-know-what’s, so you can’t be angry with me, plus I wuz drunk—”

“Slow down, man. What did you do?”

Sledge pulled a face. “Stella’s pregnant.”

“WHAT?!”

Sledge held up his hands. “It wuz from that one-night-stand, so you can’t be angry with me, and I didn’t go near her, she came to me. I didn’t cheat, I didn’t—”

Like Naf, Corey’s face and neck turned red. “You can’t believe that bitch; she’s lying to get you.”

“She’s definitely pregnant, she looks awful.”

“I don’t mean ’bout her being pregnant, I mean ’bout the baby being yours.”

“She’s eight weeks, so it could be mine.”

“I don’t care, cos you’re mine, NOT hers.”

“I didn’t say I wuz hers,” Sledge said, feeling relieved Corey was still claiming him.

“When did she tell you? Where were you?”

“Calm down, I wuz at home.” Sledge went on to tell Corey about everything that had happened.

“She kissed you?!” Corey shouted.

“I didn’t return it, and she grabbed my towel, and it wuz Naf’s fault for not answering the door.”

Corey gritted his teeth, looking like he was going to pop a few blood vessels. The swelling had gone down on his face, although the bruising had yellowed, with more probably under the beanie. “You’re not allowed to see her,” Corey said.

“Hey, wait a mo, I’m not seeing her, she came to me.”

“Then tell her to fuck off, cos she’s just tryna get you back.”

“She never had me in the first place; I stayed away from her like you asked.”

“You should never have slept with her.”

“I wuz drunk.”

“Not the following morning.”

“I woke up with her riding me, what the fuck wuz I s’posed to do?”

“Push her off.”

“But it felt good.”

“I don’t wanna hear that!”

“C’mon, don’t be mad at me, we’ve already been over this a shitload of times.”

“But she’s disgusting.”

“No, she’s not, she’s cute,” Sledge said, realising his mistake too late.

“You think she’s cute?”

“Yeah, but you’re way cuter—like a million times more,” Sledge babbled, trying to remove his foot from his throat. “You two aren’t even in the same ballpark—”

“But you’d still do her if she dropped her cum stained g-string.”

“I wouldn’t cheat on you, so there’s no needa be jealous.”

“Don’t gimme that, you got pissed off when Tyler fucked me.”

“Don’t bring him into this,” Sledge snapped, not wanting to think about the prick touching Corey.

Corey crossed his arms over his chest. “And you said I wuzn’t allowed to see him too, so you’re just as jealous as I am.”

“Cos I love you, babe.”

Corey’s angry expression softened, although he still looked unsure. “I love you too, which is why you can’t go near Stella.”

“Then promise you won’t see Tyler again.”

“But he’s my friend, and Stella’s just a skank.”

“No, you can’t lay demands then do what you like, and if the baby’s mine, I will wanna see it.”

“It might not be yours.”

“But if it is, I hafta take part in its life.” He held up a hand. “Just lemme finish before you blow your nuts off. I will not go near Stella unless it’s to do with my child... Shit, did I just say that: my child?”

“You don’t even like kids.”

“Yeah, but I can’t ignore it if it’s mine. I know what it’s like to be ignored by my father, and it feels like shit,” Sledge said, wishing he had a closer relationship with his dad, because he really wanted to talk to someone about the news. His father was still in Dargaville with Ash and Dante. He didn’t begrudge his old man being up there, just wished the bastard would acknowledge him more. He frowned. Maybe, since him and Ash weren’t at loggerheads anymore, he could ask his bro advice about kids instead. Yeah, and Ash had said he wanted to talk to him when he returned to Auckland, so that could be a good time.

“You can see the kid, but not Stella,” Corey said.

“She’ll be with the kid, so I won’t be able to avoid her.”

“If she touches you, you tell me, and I’ll deal with her.”

“Even that skinny chick could take you on and win,” Sledge said, laughing.

“She could not!”

Sledge stopped laughing, and grinned. “I’ve never had two chicks fight over me before.”

Corey punched his arm. “I’m not a chick.”

“You punch like one.”

“You’re a cunt.”

“No, you said you wanted to be my cunt,” Sledge said, still grinning.

“Ha, ha, very funny. Not.”

“Oh, c’mon, babe, lighten up.”

Corey huffed, and poked his lip out more. Sledge touched it softly, the split having healed up. A cheeky look flittered across Corey’s face, then he opened his mouth and sucked Sledge’s finger in. Sledge watched in fascination as it went in and out, while Corey’s tongue... He whipped his finger away when his cock started stirring.

“I’ll suck your dick way better than Stella could ever do—or any chick at that. I know what feels good.” Corey bit his bottom lip and looked down at Sledge’s crotch. “I’ll do it for you now, I’ll even swallow.”

Sledge felt his cheeks go up in flame, along with his dick. “We can’t here.”

“The curtains are closed.”

“No.”

“Then wank me off.”

“For fuck’s sake, is that all you can say?”

“I’m serious this time.”

“Like you weren’t the last time?”

“Oh, go on. Just put your hand under the covers, no one will know.”

“Wank yourself off.”

“That’s boring.”

“No, it’s not. I love wanking off.”

“Then prove it and do it for me, it’ll just be like wanking yourself—”

“Just with a way smaller dick,” Sledge sniggered.

Corey punched him. “It’s not small!”

“Says the clit to the cock.”

“Arsehole.”

“Well, you deserved it, cos I did tell ya I wouldn’t touch your dick.”

“Just try it or I won’t stop bugging you.”

“No.”

“But you’ve made me hard,” Corey whined.

“That’s not my fault.”

Corey snatched Sledge’s hand and put it on his crotch “Please. You gave me blue-balls the last time,” he said, digging his nails in when Sledge tried to pull back.

“Ow! Stoppit, you’re hurting me.”

Corey let go.

Sledge rubbed the indent marks. “You needa cut your nails.”

“Sorry.” Corey took Sledge’s hand and brought it up to his mouth, kissing it. Sledge watched, this time not fighting him, the guy’s lips so much prettier than Stella’s. What was wrong with him? He had no problem fucking Stella—someone he didn’t love, yet he gave Corey nothing—even though the cutie turned him on big time. And wanking Corey wasn’t exactly sex, well, it was sexual, but if he put his hand under the covers he wouldn’t see himself doing it, plus Corey did have an adorable little dick... And he’d always let Corey wank next to him during pornos, which, if he was being completely honest, was kind of hot... Oh shit, he was going to do it, wasn’t he?

He breathed in, then pulled his hand out of Corey’s grip and slipped it under the bedcovers and Corey’s hospital gown, making his mate gasp.

“Oh God, yes, Sledge.”

“Shoosh,” Sledge said, feeling himself harden more, Corey’s reaction a definite turn-on. “Don’t say a word or I’ll stop.”

Clamping a hand over his mouth, Corey watched Sledge through hooded eyes, then he started moving his pelvis in rhythm with Sledge’s hand, making Sledge bite back a moan himself. Fuck, he wanted to flip Corey over and take him right there. The thought shocked Sledge out of his sexual haze, making him aware he was holding someone else’s dick. His grip slackened, then tightened again when Corey’s eyes took on a pleading look. Sledge started wanking him faster, just wanting to finish, then before he knew what was happening, Corey came, moaning into his hand.

After a few seconds, Corey removed his hand from his mouth and looked down at his covered cock, which Sledge was still holding, feeling more than a little stunned. He’d just wanked off a guy. Well, he couldn’t wank off a girl... but a guy! He glanced down at his own cock, which was trying to escape his jeans.

Corey’s gaze shifted to it and he licked his lips, making Sledge’s cock twitch. “Get a wheelchair and take me to the toilet, I needa clean up.”

Sledge pulled his hand out, getting some of Corey’s cum on him. Freaked out, he wiped it on the bed, then hastily left Corey’s room, totally disbelieving what he’d just done and afraid someone would see his hard-on. He quickly returned with the wheelchair, wishing his bastard of a dick would deflate, but all it did was try harder to get at Corey, who kept looking at it, encouraging the bastard.

He helped Corey into the wheelchair, grabbed a blanket to cover the cum stain, then wheeled him out, following instructions on where the shower was. Sledge pushed Corey into the room, then locked the door behind them. The shower had a removable nozzle-head and a seat, and luckily, some fresh hospital gowns on a shelf.

Corey removed the blanket then his gown, catching Sledge’s full attention. Bruising ran up and down his body, upsetting Sledge. He bobbed down and brushed them lightly. “Do they hurt bad?”

“Not as much now.”

“I should’ve been there for you.”

“You’re here now.”

Sledge frowned, then leaned over and kissed the biggest one on Corey’s ribcage, wanting to take his mate’s lover’s pain away. Corey placed his hand on Sledge’s head, and stroked his hair, the simple gesture almost undoing Sledge. He raised his head and latched onto Corey’s lips, no longer freaked out, the need to taste his lover too strong. Corey kissed him back, his tongue slipping inside, then his hand reached down and unzipped Sledge’s pants.

Sledge pulled back. “What’re you doin’?” he said out of breath.

“I wanna return what you did for me, but with my mouth.”

“You don’t hafta.”

“But I wanna.”

Sledge’s gaze moved back to Corey’s full lips. Yeah, he wanted Corey to do it too. “How do you want me?”

A large smile formed across Corey’s face. “Stand up.”

Sledge got to his feet, feeling awkward until Corey pulled his cock out, then... Sledge tilted his head back and groaned. Fuck, he loved the dude.

37

Ash

Friday

Ash got out of Dante’s car and looked at the house he no longer wanted to live in. Even worse, he considered it tapu now—a forbidden place because of Len’s death. Although he didn’t believe in God, he was superstitious, especially when it involved the dead. Christ, why did he even think he could spend another night in here, the place now creeping him out, regardless of the happier memories associated with it. But he had to deal with it, and get on with things, sorting out the mess called his life.

Dante locked the car, appearing more relaxed than normal. The car ride back had been a strange one, mainly due to giving Beth a lift home. But it hadn’t been too bad, and he’d even talked to her without biting her head off. Maybe it was because he no longer cared about what she’d done to him—Chaz’s abuse making it feel insignificant. Or maybe it was because he hadn’t expected to survive, and everything that followed was more like a dream than real.

Dante followed him. “You ’kay, bro?”

Ash nodded. “I’m relieved we’re moving, it’s sumpthin’ we should’ve done a long time ago.” And he was even more relieved he was going to meet up with Tiana the next day. She hadn’t come to Dargaville, which had made him think she didn’t care, but he’d found out it was Dante’s fault, his brother warning her to give him time to recover. Plus, he also discovered that Dante was holding a grudge against her for allowing him to walk into Chaz’s trap. Though, Ash didn’t blame her, far from it, because he knew she would’ve been protecting Angelo, which he wanted her to do. If anything, he would’ve been angry if she didn’t; her first priority was their son, not him.

Ash waited for Dante to unlock the front door, raring to get things started, to toss the shit from his life so only the gold remained. After he’d made some calls, he was heading to Craven’s to settle Hunter’s debt. He was going to promise his boss he’d work for him until the house was sold, then he would pay for his family’s freedom, the additional loan Dante had gotten from their uncle and grandfather enough to do it.

After that he was going to see the real estate agent, then if he had time he would check out some night classes, because there was no way in hell he was going to finish his education in high school—stuff that. But then again, it might be amusing seeing the looks on the teachers’ faces when they saw him, tattooed up like some gang-member. He grinned.

Dante entered the house before him. Ash followed, stopping in surprise when he saw his family, all of them looking at him with either smiles or worried expressions. Their father sat on the couch next to Angelo and Tiana, while the twins were standing by the dining-room table. Sledge looked stern whereas Juliet was beaming, like she was trying to stop herself from running to him, the girl practically vibrating with excitement. He smiled back, his brothers knowing she was his favourite, he just hoped he was still hers tomorrow after Dante and him told the twins the truth about who their parents were. He wasn’t looking forward to that.

“Dad!” Angelo yelled, launching himself at Ash.

Ash put his arms around his son, surprised that Tiana had brought Angelo here when she hated the place. Christ, why hadn’t he gotten rid of the house sooner? No, he knew why: because he didn’t think he could do anything but sell drugs, and he also had it fixed in his mind that he wouldn’t be able to escape working for Craven. But after what Chaz had done, he wasn’t going to let any more men rule his life.

Ash lifted Angelo off the floor, so happy he was holding his son, something he didn’t think he was ever going to do again after being kidnapped. Plus, he was immensely relieved that Chaz had been telling the truth about not harming Angelo.

Ash pushed Chaz out of his brain. The sick bastard may still be breathing—barely, but he needed to keep telling himself that Chaz was gone for good, not someone or something he wanted to ever think about again. He knew that was unrealistic, but he had to try to move on, because he didn’t want to continue living with the mind-fuck that Chaz had done on him.

“What’re you doin’ here?” Ash asked Angelo.

“For your welcome home party, Dad.”

“It’s not a party, Angelo,” Tiana piped up. “Only a welcome home.”

“It’s not my home for much longer either,” Ash said, aching to embrace her, but not sure if she would welcome it. He put Angelo down on his feet, but still held his son to him, the little one not trying to get free.

Tiana straightened her skirt, looking more than nervous. “Yes, Dante mentioned you’re selling.” Then her expression broke, and she jumped up from the couch and rushed to him, squashing Angelo in between them as she hugged Ash, their son squealing at her to let him out.

She moved Angelo aside, and hugged Ash fully. “I’m sorry, I went to warn you, but that horrible creature snatched the phone offa me.” She pulled back, her eyes going all over him, then stopped to brush his fringe aside, touching the bruise on his forehead. “What did he do to you? No, don’t answer, just tell me he didn’t hurt you, that he didn’t do the same thing.”

“I can’t.”

Her face dropped, like she was about to disintegrate into a mess on the floor, the guilt in her eyes so stark it hurt.

“He didn’t ra... do that. He did sumpthin’ similar, but I’d rather not talk about it right now. Later? Okay?” And he meant it, because he was sick of bottling up everything. He needed to talk to someone, and Tiana along with Dante were the best ones to open up to.

She latched onto him and started crying again. “Please forgive me.”

He took a hold of her arms and pulled her back, then took her face in his hands and kissed her. She went still for a moment, then returned it with passion, as if he’d just returned from war—which he supposed he had.

He pulled back and smiled. “There’s nuthin’ to forgive. And I’ll get through this, but only if you promise you’ll move with me to Howick.”

“Howick?” she said, looking stunned.

He nodded. “I’m buying my way out of the business; both me and Dante will approach Craven today, offering him a deal he can’t refuse. I don’t wanna live like this anymore,” he said, waving his hand at the house, the place he’d lived in for the past ten years. But his gesture also referred to selling drugs and the lifestyle he’d led. “I wanna be with you and Angelo, and I wanna go back to school, and finish what I would have if that night,” I was raped, “never happened.”

A huge smile lit up her face, like the sun had broken through the walls and shone itself on her. She lunged at him, hugging him again.

“I guess that’s a yes?” he said.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes...”

Angelo started chanting yes behind her, his little face reflecting how happy Ash felt right at that moment, which was a strange feeling considering everything that had happened over the past week, something that he’d thought would’ve killed him, but he guessed he wasn’t letting Chaz get in the way this time.

Ash covered his eyes, attempting to stop his hand from shaking, yet failing. He’d thought he’d never get what he wanted, thought he had to constantly compromise, but now it looked like he didn’t.

“Oh, Ash,” Tiana said. “Don’t get upset.”

Ash wiped his face. “I’m not upset.”

“But you’re crying.”

“Cos I didn’t think I would get you and Angelo back, and I also didn’t think I would see any of you again after what happened.”

“So, your tears are cos you’re happy?” she said, looking uncertain.

“Yes, and you’re all behind the tears,” he said, sweeping his gaze over his family, “but in a good way.” The image of the two teardrop tattoos under Chaz’s left eye returned for a moment before Ash squashed it down. “And no one will tear my family apart ever again.” He focused on Sledge. “No matter what happens, I will only protect and be there for you.”

Sledge smiled at him.

Ash smiled back, then shifted his gaze to Dante. “And if you want things I don’t want, I won’t get in your way.”

Dante stared back, his look of surprise telling Ash his brother knew he was talking about Beth.

Ash then refocused on Tiana, who was beaming up at him. He kissed her head, then gave her one of his Uncle Luka’s famous bear-hugs. And like his uncle, he was going to live his life to the full and not let anything—or any man—stand in his way.

***

About the Author

Marita A. Hansen was born in New Zealand, where her stories are based. Marita loves writing, creating art, coaching football, and running. She ran her first two marathons in 2012 and is planning on completing many more, the New York Marathon at the top of her bucket list. For more information on Marita check out her blog: maritaahansen.blogspot.com

***

An extract from

Behind the Hood

(Behind the Lives #1)

Set in 2010

1

Maia

Maia Daniels knew she should just ignore the boys. Walk past, don’t listen, she told herself. Don’t talk back.

It was ten o’clock on a Saturday night. The gang were sitting on a wall outside Claydon Pub, passing around a smoke. She’d seen some of them at high school, when they decided to turn up that is.

Whooping and yelling came from the pub. A television blared loudly, no doubt replaying the All Blacks’ rugby match against the Wallabies. Maia stopped at the driveway as a purple Holden drove into the car park. Music blasted from inside the souped-up machine, the bass pumping its steady beat out into the night.

“Maia, c’mere,” Tama Harris yelled.

The gang leader was eighteen, tall and solidly built, with a wide, flat nose. He’d shaved off his hair recently, replacing it with a curved pattern called a moko. Usually, the tattoo adorned the face, a sign of a Māori warrior—something to be proud of. But Tama was no one to be proud of, nothing but a dreg who constantly harassed her. Unlike the other boys, he wore his hoodie tied around his waist, his ripped jeans and muscle shirt unsuitable for the cold autumn weather. Maia figured he was probably high on something, either from the weed in his hand or the empty bottles at his feet—or both.

“Hey, Maia! Are ya a double d?” a podgy boy with spiky blond hair shouted.

“They sure felt like it,” Tama replied, his hand actions eliciting laughter from the gang.

A blush ran across Maia’s cheeks. Shit, she hated her breasts. Even in her oversized sweatshirt they still grabbed attention. She pulled her hood further over her head, and rounded her shoulders. After another car passed, she hitched up her track pants and walked across the muddy driveway.

Tama hollered, “Oi! I told ja to c’mere.”

She looked back, aching to give him the finger, but instead jammed her hands into her pockets. God, she was a moron for sneaking out, but ... Ben’s raves were always awesome. Why couldn’t her mum let her go? It wasn’t like she did drugs, and the boys at the party were just mates.

Tama’s scowl changed into a grin. He threw his joint onto the ground and jumped off the stone wall. With a jerk of his head, he indicated for the gang to follow.

Maia’s heartbeat picked up. Still concentrating on Tama, she stepped off the kerb and onto Waiata Crescent. The blast of a horn made her leap back. The front passenger leaned out of a battered sedan, and swore at her. Ignoring the pimply git, she scooted around the car and across the side road.

A loud wolf-whistle made her jump. She glanced over her shoulder. Tama’s eyes were fixated on her, promising things she didn’t want.

He grabbed his crotch. “I like ya from behind, Maia.”

All the boys, except for Mikey Thomas, laughed. Tama’s cousin looked away as though uncomfortable with what was happening. He was fourteen and in her class at school. She thought he liked her; either that or he had a staring problem. Yeah, she’d only noticed because she was usually checking him out too.

Maia wondered if she could lose the gang by cutting across the highway. Traffic was heavy, making this option just as dangerous as stopping for Tama. Further up the road, past the tyre yard, the video and liquor stores’ lights were on. The neon sign of the happy video man was a welcoming sight. It was maybe a hundred metres away. She thought she had a chance of outrunning Tama. She was fast, damned fast. If she’d showed up to school enough, she probably would’ve been on the track team.

“Maia, pretty Maia,” Tama taunted. “I’ve got sumpthin’ to show you.”

Maia wasn’t sure whether it was a knife—or something else in his pants. She knew he carried a switchblade. He’d stabbed her brother in the arm once when Nike attacked him with a baseball bat. She’d always wondered whether this was why Tama harassed her. But she couldn’t blame Nike for it. Leila, his girlfriend at the time, had caused the fight. The bitch had cheated on him with Tama, then cried rape after he found out.

“Leave me alone, Tama,” she said, remembering the last time he’d approached her. She’d kicked him in the balls for grabbing her breasts. “Nike said he’d beat the living snot outta you if you came near me again.”

“I’d love to see him fuckin’ try. Plus, you owe me, bitch.”

Maia knew she should keep her mouth shut; that whenever she spoke it got her into trouble. Her mother had told her countless times, “You speak too much, Maia, you should listen more.”

She grinned, unable to help herself. “What do I owe you? More bruised balls?”

She heard a slicing noise behind her, the sound of a switchblade being opened. Shit!

“Get her,” Tama yelled.

Maia took off, her legs pumping hard and fast.

Behind the Hood is available from Amazon.

An extract from

Graffiti Heaven

(Graffiti Heaven #1)

1

Ash

Wednesday, August 23, 2000.

Today was going to suck, but hopefully in the best possible way.

Too nervous to look at Tiana, who was quietly sitting next to him, Ash stared out of the bus window as houses and trees flicked by, the urban landscape stuck in the past like a film from the early nineties—a South Auckland “Boyz n the Hood.” But unlike the movie, no Californian bungalows populated the roadside, just wooden boxes framed by grass, concrete and fences. But the style of painting was the same—a real graffiti heaven.

Claydon Shopping Mall’s green and white supermarket and The Warehouse’s large red building drew closer, the only sign that the town had moved into the twenty-first century. The bus stopped to pick up a passenger, the wait making Ash irritable. He just wanted to get to Tiana’s house as quickly as possible before she changed her mind.

Tiana’s shoulder rubbed against his as the bus started up again, the rumble causing him to shake rather than his nerves. For a second he smiled, still surprised that she’d skipped school with him. Normally Tiana gave him disapproving looks when he suggested cutting class. She was a good Tongan girl, and someone his cousin had warned him against going out with.

‘You’re kidding yourself if ya think she’ll go anywhere near your dick,’ Hunter had said. ‘The only thing she’ll touch is a Bible.’

Yeah, Tiana was religious, the cross she wore between her breasts a warning to keep his hands to himself, but he liked her and was a real sucker when it came to the quiet girls. This was because the loud ones had a perverse way of humiliating him, like Jenna Hamilton did when she told his mates that he was lousy at sex.

The bus turned right at the roundabout and headed down Tiri Road. He risked a look at Tiana. With long brown hair, caramel-coloured skin and almond-shaped eyes, he thought she was stunning. When his mates had found out he was seeing her, they had joked that the “Polynesian princess” was slumming it, and although he would never admit it to them, he agreed that she was too good for him.

He took in her profile. She was staring up the aisle with her full lips pressed firmly together. He imagined those lips wrapped around his cock. Her back straightened as though she knew what he was thinking. He quickly glanced out the window. But she’d been the one who’d suggested it. He hadn’t even considered asking for a blowjob, his dreams only centred on what was below her skirt. Then again, maybe that was why she was willing to give him one, because she was probably sick of telling him to keep his hands out of her knickers.

‘I’m not having sex until I’m married,’ she’d said. ‘So, if ya love me you’ll wait.’

As if! He was never getting married. She hadn’t seen what marriage and divorce had done to his parents. And anyway, why the hell did she want to get married? She was only sixteen, and he was barely that. Well, he would be next week, and about time, because he wanted that car his cousin had promised him. Okay, it was hideous looking, a snot-green Ford Escort, but with Hunter’s help he was going to give it a choice new paint job.

Tiana took a hold of his left hand, distracting him from what images he could paint on the car. “I love you, Ash.”

“Thanks.”

She stiffened, making him feel like crap. He liked her loads, and at times thought he might love her, but wasn’t sure. He wanted to be with her, only her, but didn’t know if he’d always feel the same way. Plus, people who said they loved someone usually ended up doing horrible things to them—like his father had. Drugged out and in a rage, his father had taken a car jack to his mother over their divorce, probably would’ve killed her too if Ash and Hunter hadn’t stepped in. Ash looked down at his crooked pinkie finger, the only visible scarring he’d received apart from the one hidden under his mop of black hair. And in just over a week his father would be out of prison. The thought made him sick.

The bus jolted as it went over a speed bump. They headed past Claydon High, the white exterior defaced by colourful graffiti—the school Tiana was supposed to go to. But she’d managed to get into his—Wera High—on her grades and sporting achievements. She was an excellent netball player and had been approached by the national coach to represent New Zealand.

The bus stopped a few houses away from the rival school. Ash and Tiana made their way out and onto the footpath, then before he knew what had happened, Tiana jumped back onto the bus and the doors closed between them.

“What the fuck?” he yelled.

She said something that he couldn’t hear then the bus drove off, leaving him standing there like a moron, staring after it. Was she punishing him for not saying he loved her?

Several feet ahead, a group of seniors dressed in Claydon’s blue and grey uniform walked towards him, a bloke with spiky brown hair the only one out of uniform. Ash suddenly felt self-conscious in red and black, as though he’d walked into an opposing gang’s headquarters and had given them the finger.

Two of the boys shouldered Ash as they walked past, the one with spiky hair muttering, “Wera scum.” Marijuana smoke wafted from the guy’s blunt, the sweet smell lingering for a moment before disappearing into the cool breeze. Relieved they hadn’t done more, Ash watched as they headed through the school gates, surprised that the guy was still holding the blunt. Someone yelled Ash’s name. He turned and looked down the road as Tiana ran towards him. Both relief and annoyance fought for attention.

“Wuz that some sort of joke?” he said as she neared him. “Cos I didn’t find it funny.”

She looked down, her long brown hair hiding her face. “No,” she said out of breath. “I got scared when I saw those guys.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “Can’t explain it, just did. I’m really sorry.”

He breathed out. “No probs. Guess that’s why you’re at Wera, cos those nasty Claydon boys scare you, unlike us nice boys at Wera who just get you horn—” He grinned, “Swooning.”

She humphed, “Yeah, right, Romeo, it’s cos Claydon’s a really bad school. I used to hate goin’ there. And it’s not just the students who are bullied, even the teachers are harassed.”

“That happens at our school too.”

“Not like Claydon. They bring knives into class, even guns.”

“Yeah, I heard that too.” Ash started walking, grateful that he didn’t live in Claydon, because unlike Tiana he had no great sporting talent. Being good at rugby wasn’t enough, because half of bloody South Auckland was great at that game and the Pacific Island boys had bulk on their side. Get hit out on a field by one of those mofos and you’d end up in a neck brace, which was why he learned how to sidestep pretty fast.

Tiana took hold of his hand. They walked in silence, Ash acutely aware of being out in the open. He’d been caught a few times skipping class and had almost gotten suspended once, which would’ve ended in an expulsion if the principal had found out what he’d really been up to. His cousin occasionally asked him to be a backup man for selling drugs, and if anything went wrong Ash was to lure the cops or an angry customer away. But some dreg pulled a gun on him the last time, that experience putting him off from helping Hunter again.

“This is my road,” Tiana said.

They entered the side street with a corner dairy. Signs advertising The New Zealand Herald and women’s magazines brightened the shop’s exterior along with buckets of flowers. Trees and power-poles punctuated the sidewalk, the pink blossoms contrasting with the concrete eyesores. Tiana steered him into a property framed by an alleyway and a large steel pylon. The weatherboard home appeared well cared for; its white exterior gleaming like an advertisement for house paints. To Ash’s relief the driveway was empty, only tyre marks remaining on the lawn.

“Told ja my mum would be out,” Tiana said. “She helps at church on Wednesdays.”

They walked up the path and onto the patio, Ash’s nerves causing his stomach to clench as she unlocked the front door. She glanced past him as though to check that no nosy neighbours were watching, then ushered him inside. A mixture of bright colours assaulted his eyes as he entered the lounge. Two handmade quilts with flower patterns adorned one wall while a large photo of what appeared to be Tiana’s family filled the space in between. He frowned, the boy standing behind Tiana looking a lot like the spiky haired guy.

Tiana grabbed his arm as he moved towards it. “Shoes off,” she said.

He toed off his boots then walked up to the picture. It was the guy, just younger and... He’d also seen him somewhere else before, but buggered if he could remember where.

He pointed at the picture. “You were avoiding your brother?”

“I was protecting you; he would’ve bashed you for bein’ with me. He’s extremely over-protective.”

“You could’ve just told me that without lying.”

She grimaced. “I thought you’d dump me if you knew what he was like.”

He put his arms around her waist. “I wouldn’t do that. And you haven’t met my father; he’d make your bro look like the Pope.”

She laughed. “Well, at least your stepdad’s nice.”

“S’pose so, I just wish he’d stop goin’ through my stuff.”

“Yeah, my mother does that too.” She kissed his cheek. “You wanna go to my room now?”

Smiling, he followed her down the passage, feeling a hell of a lot better. After four months of dating, he’d wondered why she hadn’t invited him to meet her family. His cousin had told him Tiana was probably ashamed of him. Although Hunter had been joking Ash had believed it, but now, it looked like he was wrong.

Pictures of netball players decorated her bedroom walls, while makeup, jewellery and tiny porcelain ponies littered her mirrored cabinet. Ash’s gaze zeroed in on the bed, the thought of what Tiana was going to do making him want to run to the bathroom for another clean. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, and tried not to let on how nervous he was. No one had ever offered him anything like this before...

Well, that wasn’t entirely true because he’d had sex with Jenna Hamilton five months ago. Though, he could hardly call it that, considering all he did was stick it in and nothing else. In and out, not even a wiggle about, because she’d started crying, complaining that he was hurting her. Then he saw blood. Freaking, he’d apologised profusely, and had gotten dressed and left. And when she’d slagged him off at school, totally humiliating him in front of his mates, he hadn’t said a word because he’d felt awful that he’d hurt her. Eventually he’d fessed up to his cousin about what had happened. In return Hunter had given him some advice:

‘Chicks are like ground and instant coffee. One tastes better but takes longer to prepare. If you wanna go with a virgin, cumming doesn’t happen instantly, you hafta grind them slow or else those chicks will scream bloody murder. And that’s precisely why I like older women, cos I prefer instant. You put your spoon in, mix it around and hey presto you get an orgasm.’

And then Hunter had gone on to explain what types of chicks were good for roasting.

Tiana shut the door, flicked on a light switch then closed the shutters. She turned around, her expression reflecting the nervousness he felt. Unsure of what to say or do, Ash sat on the bed, hoping that she would make the first move. He didn’t want to stuff things up twice.

She sat next to him and looked down at her hands, not uttering a word. Feeling awkward, Ash went to ask if she was alright, but before he could get a word out she grabbed his face and planted a kiss on his lips, knocking him against the headboard. He quickly recovered and returned the kiss, then almost jumped as she touched his crotch. Willing himself to relax, he closed his eyes and placed a hand on one of her breasts, expecting to get it smacked off, but instead she unzipped his pants and started jerking him off. And there was no way he wanted to spurt before they’d barely started. Mrs. Mullen, he thought, think of Mrs. Mullen. An image of his elderly neighbour popped into his head—dentures and all. He shuddered, imagining those awful teeth on his cock.

He opened his eyes to get a picture of Tiana, and slipped a hand under her jumper. She pulled back from their kiss. Her face was flushed, both embarrassment and arousal colouring her caramel skin.

“Close your eyes,” she said.

He did as instructed and sat waiting, feeling both exposed and excited. A light kiss brushed his cock, making him jump. Tiana giggled then lifted up his shirt and jumper. He peeked to see what she was doing. She was staring at his erection against his stomach.

“It’s so red.” Her eyes flicked up to his. “I told ja to close your eyes, Ash.”

Embarrassed, he closed them again. He thought she’d just put it in her mouth and make him cum, not examine him like some science experiment, ready to be marked on his size and bloody colour. No, don’t get him wrong, he was proud of what he had down there, because he was definitely bigger than his mates—not like he was looking, they just seemed smaller—but why the hell wasn’t she putting it in her mouth already?

She rained more kisses on it. He felt her move off the bed then a strange, but nice moistness enveloped his cock. What sounded like a car door slammed outside, taking away the warmth encasing him. He opened his eyes and looked at Tiana, who was now kneeling in front of him with a frightened expression.

“What—”

She placed a finger to his lips. He closed his mouth and waited, wondering what he’d done wrong now. The sound of the front door jiggling made both of them bolt to their feet. She pulled the blinds up and opened the window, silently gesturing for him to climb out. He zipped up his pants and climbed through the window, jumping onto the grass.

“My boots,” he whispered.

“Later,” she hissed. “Go.” She shooed him with a flick of a hand, then lowered the blinds.

He stood there, frozen like a stunned animal. A door shutting inside snapped him out of his possum-in-headlights state. He inched around the corner of the house, aware that he could still be seen. It wasn’t exactly how he’d pictured meeting her mum, dad, or whoever it was.

A silver station wagon was parked in the driveway. He slowly edged down the side of the house and peeked around the corner at the front. No one was in sight, but he still had to run down the driveway and, from memory, the curtains were wide open. He glanced at the fence lining the walkway. Yeah, he could scale that. He put a foot on the middle beam and pushed himself up and over, landing on the concrete on the other side, then ran down the walkway and onto a field. Classrooms framed one side, while a fence outlined the back of the school with roofs jutting over the top. He grimaced, realising he was on Claydon High’s rugby field, the goal posts and blue clad students hard to miss.

A group of boys throwing around a rugby ball looked his way. A fat boy yelled out, “Hey, wrong school, dumbarse.”

Ash gave him the finger then ran back down the alleyway, glancing over his shoulder to see if anyone had followed. Nope, he was safe. He turned back round, and almost smacked face first into three guys as they piled into the walkway: Tiana’s brother and his mates.

“Shit,” Ash muttered.

Tiana’s brother pulled out something from his pocket. “Thought I recognised you. Now, the question is do ya recognise me?”

Ash’s gaze dropped to the black handle of a gun. He backed up, the scene feeling like déjà vu. It was the cokehead who’d pulled the gun on him and Hunter during the drug sale a few months back, but this time the guy was sporting a different hairstyle and was his girlfriend’s psycho brother.

Yeah, today did suck, but in the worst possible way.

Graffiti Heaven is available from Amazon.

Table of Contents

Copyright

August 2010

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About the Author

Extract from Behind the Hood