EMBRACING TROUBLE

Published by:

Dee Bridle

www.deebridle.com

Copyright © 2013, Dee Bridle

Cover Artist: Kellie Dennis at Book Cover By Design

www.bookcoverbydesign.co.uk

Edited by: Candace Sinclair at www.WordsRU.com

All Rights Reserved. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author.

November, 2013.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

For questions or comments about this book, please contact the author at: dee@deebridle.com

EMBRACING TROUBLE

Trouble Series

Book One: Zac & Ava

By Dee Bridle

Table of Contents

Chapter One: The Party That Started Everything

Chapter Two: You’re Safe Here

Chapter Three: Good Girls Don’t Make Calls at 2:30 a.m.

Chapter Four: Stay Away From Me

Chapter Five: Driving Me to the Point Of Madness

Chapter Six: No One Is Going To Hear You

Chapter Seven: A Big Ball of Mess Inside

Chapter Eight: Don’t Even Breathe On Her

Chapter Nine: I’m Worth More Than a One-Night Stand

Chapter Ten: All Mine

Chapter Eleven: You Make Me Crazy

Chapter Twelve: Bad Girl

Chapter Thirteen: Temporary

Chapter Fourteen: To Ruin and Damage

Chapter Fifteen: Answers

Chapter Sixteen: Heaven and Hell

Chapter Seventeen: Girls Night

Chapter Eighteen: When It All Went Very Wrong

Chapter Nineteen: Relationship

Chapter Twenty: Exclusivity

Chapter Twenty-One: Coming Home

Epilogue: A few months later

Coming Soon

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Chapter One: The Party That Started Everything

Ava

I could hear the house party as soon as we rounded the corner. Music mixed with laughter and squeals drifted through the night air as we walked towards the house.

“I can’t wait to get inside and party,” said Sophie excitedly next to me as her heels clicked on the pavement.

I didn’t go to many parties and she had talked me into going to this one tonight. I folded my arms and looked over at her tight dress and high heels, knowing she had gone all out tonight. I looked down at my skinny jeans and Converse sneakers and hid a smile, knowing I hadn’t, according to her.

Cars were parked tightly along both sides of the street as other cars slowly inched forward after dropping people off. We were halfway through the last year of high school and apparently tonight’s party would be a big one. Luckily, my house was only two blocks away from Antony’s party tonight, so Sophie didn’t have to drive us. Turning eighteen had made me a proud owner of a driver’s license without a car, while Sophie’s brand new BMW had been delivered on the morning of her birthday, with a great big pink bow on its hood. I was sure my father was too busy with his own life to even think about getting me one, with or without a pink bow. I didn’t give myself much time to feel bad though. I was too busy spending every spare moment I had studying and getting good grades.

“I’m so glad you’re finally letting loose and coming to a party,” said Sophie.

I frowned.

“I’ve been to parties with you before, you know.”

“I know,” she said flicking her hair over her shoulder. “But not since this year started, and this is when all the proper fun happens.”

I wondered if “proper fun” meant flirting with the school’s brawny popular footballers? She could honestly have that fun all to herself as they held no appeal to me.

“So, apparently Tyler was asking around to see if you were coming tonight,” she said with a knowing smile.

I replied, “So?”

She rolled her eyes.

“Wake up, Ava! He’s interested. Just like I hope Antony is tonight with me.”

“It was Chad last week.”

She sighed in frustration as we crossed the street.

“Chad is very taken. Antony isn’t. Keep up, Avs.”

It was my turn to roll my eyes at her. She seemed hell bent on partying with the school football team, and I knew they would all be there tonight at Antony’s party. Sophie had started late with her fascination of the opposite sex and was now trying to make up for lost time.

“Hasn’t Antony slept with every girl in our year level?” I asked next.

“Not me…yet,” she said with a wicked smile.

I shook my head and followed her to Antony’s large white house, music and laughter even louder now. We walked past a group of guys who were standing at the end of the driveway next door. I looked down at the pavement as I walked through a thick cloud of their sweet smoke.

“Hello baby,” said one.

“Nice legs,” said another as they all chuckled.

Sophie turned back to them.

“Thanks,” she said with a giggle.

“You going to the party?” said another.

“We are,” grinned Sophie.

I stopped with her and glanced over at them to see they all seemed older, at least in their early twenties. Sophie giggled some more with them and I folded my arms unsurely.

“Save a Vodka Cruiser for me,” said one.

They all chuckled again like it was an inside joke.

“Maybe I will,” she returned with a flirty smile.

I looked them over again to see they were laughing at her, not with her. I was about to grab her arm to pull her away when a set of deep brown eyes caught mine. I paused in that moment of time, unable to look away, feeling somewhat exhilarated. Panic set in, and I looked away.

“Let’s go,” I said to Sophie grabbing her hand.

“Where is your sense of adventure?” whispered Sophie angrily as we walked up the garden path to the front door of Antony’s house.

“You’d be safer sticking to footballers,” I mumbled as we stepped inside.

People were everywhere, some in groups drinking, others dancing to the loud thumping music. It wasn’t long before a shot of something was shoved into my hand, and we made our way through the house. I tried not to feel nervous and look uncomfortable as I downed the shot, hoping it would calm me. It burned my throat and I swallowed down a cough. A couple of friends greeted me with a smile, knowing I wasn’t one of those girls who did the air kisses and mock squealing thing. I watched Sophie flirt with everyone around her and take two shots to every one of mine.

I thought of the guy outside who had been watching me with his deep brown eyes, and I took another shot. I felt strange when I thought of it and couldn’t imagine why he had been staring at me. I didn’t think for a minute that a guy, especially an older one who looked like him, would lust after me. Maybe I looked weird to him and he was trying to work me out?

We soon headed outside to the large backyard where some people were already in the pool, drinking and laughing. Further on, there was a tennis court at the back and couples seemed to be making good use of the lack of lighting at the back of the garden. Speakers had been set up outside, too, and the same music was blaring out over the garden.

“Hey you two,” said Antony coming over, already looking very happy with himself. “Glad you came, Sophie. You’re looking hot,” he said, while sloppily kissing her on the cheek.

I watched Sophie giggle at him, brushing her fingers up his arm. Who was she tonight? She was giggling with the school football captain like he was hilarious. Antony seemed to love the attention and sipped his beer with an arrogant smirk as he looked over to me.

“Drinks are over there. Help yourselves,” he said, giving me a wink.

I looked away from him and headed over to the drinks section, soon realizing that Sophie hadn’t followed me. She was still with Antony, and she was still giggling. I grabbed a drink and looked around the party, taking a sip. I watched Monica dance in her bikini beside the pool, waving her arms around so everyone could see her. Chad was too busy to see her, as he hurtled himself into the pool while doing a back flip. Applause erupted around the pool like he was a god. I let out a sigh and sipped my drink.

Some days I felt so different from everyone around me, like I was missing some important part that an eighteen-year-old girl should have. I was a good girl, but not in a prudish, high moral way. But I also wasn’t one to chase boys, get drunk, whip my clothes off, and jump in a pool in the middle of a party. I never showed more skin than necessary or experimented with drugs. And I didn’t go to see bands or jump around at music festivals.

I hadn’t gone all the way with a guy, or even half the way, come to think about it. I knew I was missing out on things that everyone else seemed to enjoy doing. Since I had turned eighteen a couple of months ago, these things had become a little more important to me. Maybe I wanted to be wicked and be rebellious, but as I looked around at my school friends, I didn’t want to be that with them.

I had been so busy being perfect for my father over the years that I had somehow lost myself along the way. After my mother disappeared five years ago, I did everything I could to not push the boundaries, hoping it would return her to me and fill the gaping hole she had left behind.

“Hey, Ava, you made it.”

I turned to see a girl from my biology class walking past me and gave her a friendly smile.

“Hi.”

I was sure I had only spoken to her twice in the last six months. People knew me and talked to me, but I was never someone that people would actively search out. For most of my high school existence, I was known as the girl with the mother who had disappeared, and I resented the gossip and the pity. No one knew the real me. Hell, I didn’t even know the real me.

I sipped my drink and watched Chad grab Monica and pretend to throw her into the pool. She squealed loudly, begging him not to get her wet while others cheered him on. He soon gave up on throwing her in and started to kiss her instead. She returned his kisses by pushing herself against him while his hands gripped her bottom.

I had kissed two boys in my life and both times they hadn’t rocked my world. I honestly didn’t know what the fuss was about, because it was a slobbering mess of an exercise, if you asked me. Boys had shown interest in me, but I never really took the time to show any interest back.

I was sure there were only a couple of virgins left in Year Twelve, and Sophie and I were two of them. She had started to despise the fact, but I didn’t care too much, knowing it would happen when it was right. I didn’t have the urge to lose it to just anyone. I thought the boys in my classes were still quite silly, even though most of them were already eighteen like me.

I wanted the fairy tale.

“He’s so cute,” said Sophie interrupting my thoughts, her cheeks flushed and her eyes twinkling.

“I can’t believe you have a crush on Antony,” I said.

“Why not? He’s gorgeous.”

“He plays football,” I muttered.

“So?”

“So, since when do you go for the typical jock? I know you. You want romance and poetry and…brains.”

“He has brains,” she returned. “And besides, I don’t particularly care at the moment.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not going to university next year as a virgin,” she whispered.

I stared at her.

“Be judgmental all you like,” she returned. “But I’m over my boring life. I need something more, Ava. You do, too.”

“My life isn’t boring,” I said half-heartedly, not even believing my own words.

Sophie looked at me with her eyebrows raised, as if daring me to believe my own lie. She grabbed two more drinks and then my hand.

“Let’s go over to the court and see what the others are doing.”

We joined a group of friends on the tennis court and casually talked while we drank. Sophie kept plying me with drinks, still giggling and flirting with any guy within a two-meter radius. I kept quiet, watching everyone have fun, feeling wrong. I looked over and saw more girls stripping down to their bikinis around the pool.

There was a couple leaning against the tennis court fence, wrapped in each other’s arms as they kissed each other hungrily. A group of boys cheered on their kissing friends and laughed loudly. I felt a sudden longing for that—to be that passionate for someone that you couldn’t hold yourself back from kissing each other hungrily in front of everyone. The two boys I had kissed had been more about getting it done so you could join the others who had already kissed boys. I hadn’t wanted to be left behind.

I longed to feel that passion for someone, but I worried that I was missing something fundamental in that area. I looked at guys like Antony and only saw a guy with one thing on his mind, who would do or say anything to get it. Once he got it, he would move on to his next conquest. I didn’t want to be a conquest. I wanted romance and to be undeniably cherished, but maybe I was just clueless?

I felt a tingle up my spine and wondered if the alcohol was finally taking effect as I met a pair of familiar eyes that were looking directly at me. Awareness suddenly prickled my skin, and I tried to catch my breath. It was the same guy from earlier on, and he didn’t look away as he put a cigarette to his lips and took a drag. He didn’t acknowledge me or smile, just watched, his eyes knowing and wicked. I tried not to panic again as he stared. He was gorgeous in a dark and dangerous way, and I swallowed hard as I tried to get air into my lungs.

Sophie stood next to me and followed my line of sight to the guys sitting on the low wall at the end of the garden.

She leaned in to me, slurring into my ear, “Those guys are the ones from earlier on. One of the real hot ones is staring at you.”

I forced my eyes away from his, breaking the connection as my heart beat fast and out of control. He was gorgeous, and I suddenly wanted to run away, unable to comprehend the effect he was having on me.

Sophie giggled and put her arm around my shoulders.

“Go over there, Ava, don’t be a chicken shit.”

“I’m not a chicken shit,” I said quietly, pulling her arm off me. “And I’m not going over there.”

I wasn’t good at this stuff. If I went over to him, what would I say? I wasn’t confident enough to just go over to a strange guy and start flirting.

“We’ll both go over,” said Sophie, taking my arm. “His friends are hot, too.”

“No,” I said again, moving away and trying not to look over at him.

Sophie rolled her eyes at me and then was distracted for a moment as she talked to someone. I snuck a quick glance back over to him to see him still watching me. I took a deep breath. I felt wired with excitement and panic. I knew I should look away, but I couldn’t. His eyes were intense, and I couldn’t help but notice how his T-shirt hugged his strong shoulders and tattoos filled his arms. I instantly knew that he was someone who could make me weak at the knees, stirring something in me that I had never felt before. I felt alive, like electricity was charging through me.

“Hey, Ava.”

I turned around quickly, feeling like I had been caught doing something I wasn’t meant to do. When I looked up, I saw Tyler in front of me. He was in a few of my classes and one of the popular guys. He was tall and built for football; a guy that most girls in my level wanted to catch. He had light brown hair, cut short, and the bluest eyes that made the girls crazy.

I didn’t believe Sophie when she told me he was interested in me, because he had the pick of any girl he wanted. We talked in class sometimes and were friendly, but that was it.

“Hey, Tyler.”

“It’s good to see you here, Ava. I thought you might have had something against parties,” he said, taking a swig of his beer.

I smiled, suddenly comparing his arms to the dark and dangerous guy behind me. Tyler had muscular arms as well, but his were tanned and didn’t have tattoos on them.

“No aversion, as such, just busy with other things,” I replied.

His eyes looked into mine as he smiled.

“Well, I’m glad you came. My birthday is coming up,” he said, stepping closer to me. “And you need to come to that party and not be busy with other things.”

I laughed a little unsurely, and said, “Okay.”

He continued to look at me and then seemed to want to say something else. I took another sip, panicking slightly at what he might suggest. Was Sophie right? Did our friendly conversations at school actually mean something else? I hoped not, because I was only comfortable with him when I looked at him as just a friend.

“Tyler!” said Nathan loudly as he reached us and slapped him on the back.

Tyler looked annoyed at the interruption and then let Nathan pull him away to see something. His gaze was still fixed on me until he disappeared into the crowd. I frowned a little, not fully understanding what had just happened.

I turned back in time to see Sophie now over with the guys and waving me over. I swore under my breath and made my way over, preparing myself to meet the owner of those wicked eyes with excitement buzzing through me. As I reached the group, I nervously set eyes on him again, but he was no longer looking at me. He was saying something into the ear of the girl beside him who had her hand on his thigh. I was obviously going crazy. What the hell had I been thinking? Of course, the owner of those intense eyes wasn’t interested in someone like me.

Sighing quietly in disappointment, I looked to the rest of the group as they stood around smoking and drinking beers with their alternative hair and tattoos. The guys were older than eighteen and definitely not the type who would hang around with the likes of Antony.

I looked back at the owner of the wicked eyes to see he had a smattering of facial hair on his chin and cheeks, and his hair was messily disheveled. I wondered if he had styled it that way or had just run his fingers through it after getting out of bed that morning. Whatever the answer, his hair was as sexy as hell, and it made me want to run my own hands through it.

He had scuffed boots that must have had laces at one time, and his jeans were well worn and maybe a little dirty. His fitted grey T-shirt was frayed at the edges, but I didn’t know if it was from usage or the design. I couldn’t help but be utterly mesmerized by him, even when I knew he wasn’t interested in me and sitting with another girl. I felt a little overwhelmed at my thoughts. My senses were on high alert as my heart raced. He looked like a bad boy, a rebel, and the thought excited me.

His eyes suddenly met mine again, and I quickly looked away, knowing I had been caught staring. I tried to focus on something other than him, but I just couldn’t deny myself the pleasure. I was soon meeting his eyes again. His stare held amusement as my cheeks warmed. I quickly focused on Sophie who was saying something. I still felt his eyes on me, like they were burning into me. I tried to concentrate on Sophie, not hearing a single word she was saying. I tried to get my heartbeat under control, not understanding how much he could affect me with a look.

Was I going crazy? Was I finally keying in to what everyone around me felt when they met someone? I nervously sipped my bottle, trying to do anything but look back at him.

No longer in control of my own brain functions, my eyes moved back to feast on him. He was still watching me with a slight smirk on his face. My stomach flipped with excitement as the blonde girl sitting next to him gulped a bottle of bourbon like her life depended on it. I noticed that her hand was no longer on his thigh. I felt warm and a little dizzy, but my first instinct was to blame the alcohol.

“So, this is Ava,” Sophie said, while introducing me with an intoxicated giggle. “She’s my friend.”

“Aww, how sweet,” chuckled a tall blond guy with a crew cut and large muscled arms full of tattoos.

He had a tattoo that climbed out from under his T-shirt and went up his neck to his ear. The others in the group laughed along with him.

I felt embarrassed, like we were silly high school girls, trying to impress a bunch of grownups—ones with wickedness and experience in their eyes.

“Ava,” said one of them, “I like that name. Isn’t that a famous name?”

“Ava Gardner, the actress,” said the blonde girl looking me up and down.

“Ava Adore, the Smashing Pumpkins song,” said another.

“Good song,” said someone else.

“If you have no cock,” uttered the blond guy taking a swig of his beer.

They all chuckled again and the blonde girl laughed out loud, like it was the funniest thing she had ever heard.

I met his eyes again and realized we were the only two not laughing.

“Did it hurt to get that on your neck?” winced Sophie stepping closer to the blond guy and pointing to his tattooed neck.

“Nope,” he said with a gleam in his eyes. “Want me to take you somewhere and show you the rest?”

Sophie stepped back a little and giggled hysterically while grabbing for my arm. I felt like telling her to shut up, because she was starting to embarrass herself in front of them all.

“Jail bait,” announced someone within the group as others chuckled.

“I turned eighteen a month ago,” she returned with a giggle, letting me go and putting her hand on her hip.

“Oh, she’s an adult,” said one of them with a chuckle. “Watch out.”

The blond guy laughed as he passed a joint to someone.

“So how do you girls know Antony?”

“School,” giggled Sophie. “How about you?”

“Not from school,” he remarked, leaving it at that.

“Does Ava Adore speak?” asked one of them. “Come and sit on my lap, Ava.”

They all laughed, and I blushed uncomfortably until I heard a deep warm voice demand, “Quit it, Ben,” and the laughter stopped instantly.

I looked to him with gratitude as a new conversation started up around us. The air seemed to vibrate between us, like a strange, pent-up energy. I felt both intrigued and restless. It was like his eyes were devouring me, and I swallowed unsurely, confused at why he would even bother when he had a girl beside him.

“You guys were outside earlier when we arrived,” stated Sophie.

“I actually live next door to Antony,” said one of the guys sitting on the wall as he dragged on a cigarette.

He had shorts on and dirty Converse sneakers with eyes that seemed to promise fun and wickedness. He smiled directly at me.

“I’m Noah, and this is Zac,” he said.

“Hi,” I murmured with a quick smile trying not to blush again.

I glanced at Zac to see him looking at the blonde girl next to him, no longer interested in me. I couldn’t blame him. She did look more interesting than me. I sipped my drink and looked away, trying not to feel hurt. The music was turned up louder from the house, and when I looked around, I saw more girls jumping into the pool, some without bikinis. I looked on in fascination, knowing I could never do that.

“Now the party is getting interesting,” said one of the guys who left the group to get closer to the pool.

“I need a slash,” said the blonde, pushing off the brick wall and walking past us.

I didn’t miss the slight shoulder bump to me as she went past, and I lowered my eyes as she headed to the house. Had she noticed that her boyfriend had been looking at me?

Sophie stepped back, looking a little miffed that no one was giving her any attention.

“I’m going to find Antony.”

“Wait,” I whispered after her, but she walked off with a wave, leaving me alone with them.

“Smoke?” asked Noah.

I turned back and saw Noah offering me a cigarette from his pack.

I shook my head and said, “No thanks.”

“Why the fuck is your friend interested in the likes of Antony?” he asked passing the cigarette pack to Zac.

Zac huffed, “Did you just meet her friend?” he said with dark sarcasm.

Noah snickered, and said, “True.”

I swallowed, feeling unsure of the conversation going on in front of me. They didn’t like Antony, but were sitting at his party. They also didn’t seem to like Sophie.

“She’s just interested in having fun,” I said quietly.

“I have no doubt,” said Zac, lighting up another cigarette and passing the pack back to Noah. “Who are you interested in?”

I bit my lip, unprepared for his question. Tremors went through me at the sound of his deep sexy voice. They were both staring at me, waiting for me to answer.

I quickly answered, “No one really.”

His eyes taunted me as he asked, “The Antony’s of the world don’t do much for you?”

Noah got off the wall and stepped away to talk to someone, leaving us alone.

I moistened my lips, and replied, “What makes you think that?”

He slowly exhaled his cigarette smoke into the night air, saying, “Not only are you not in the pool swimming topless, or dancing over there in heels, but you’re standing here in your Converse sneakers…talking to me.”

“I didn’t know my shoes spoke so loudly about my preferences,” I returned, putting one of my hands in the back pocket of my jeans.

His eyes lit with amusement for a split second before they changed back again to cool indifference. I realized I would do just about anything to see that amusement in his eyes again. I looked away to gather my sanity and focused on the ground, tapping a weed between the pavers with my shoe. We were now both silent and alone. I tried not to panic at being in front of the hottest guy I had ever met.

“You can sit beside me, you know. I won’t bite,” he said in a husky voice.

I was unsure of what to do. I felt exposed standing in front of him, his eyes watching my every move. But what if his girlfriend came back? Wasn’t Noah sitting there? Honestly, where had everyone gone?

“So, if moron footballers don’t do it for you, what brings you here tonight?” he asked, rolling the cigarette between his fingers, the smoke travelling up into the night air between us.

“Boredom,” I said, before thinking.

“You must be pretty bored if this type of party alleviates it,” he said, smoothly.

“Why are you here?” I asked, counting to three in my head and then moving over closer to him.

I didn’t sit up on the wall next to him, but leaned against it, putting my bottle between us.

“One of us was…intrigued…by a girl here tonight,” he said looking back out to the party, “and there was the free booze.”

I used the opportunity to look at him properly while he looked out to the party. His facial hair slightly covered his lower cheeks and down under his chin, where it became thicker. There was something beautiful about him that made me take a breath. He wasn’t a pretty boy like the ones at school, and to be fair, he wasn’t even a boy, because he looked at least twenty-one.

I had no idea what I was doing next to this mysterious guy who took my breath away. I looked down at his arm beside me and focused on his tattoos, feeling the sudden want inside me. I had finally discovered the stirrings of lust that I had read about.

I heard giggling nearby and turned at the sound to see Noah kissing a girl sitting on the wall in the darkness, her legs wrapped around him. He was obviously the one who had been intrigued by a girl to come into the party, and he was being further intrigued right at this moment.

His hand slid under her top and she groaned, as I quickly looked away, feeling a little unsettled. My eyes collided with Zac’s and I instantly blushed.

He smirked knowingly as he dragged on his cigarette and then turned away to blow the cigarette smoke out of his mouth and away from me.

I had a sudden urge to fill the silence between us.

“So what do you do?” I asked.

“In relation to what?” he asked huskily.

I fiddled with the label on my bottle wondering if he was deliberately making this harder for me. I heard more groaning coming from the darkness and tried to think of something else to say to block the noise. He looked amused again, seeing my discomfort as his intense dark brown eyes seared into me. I felt myself move a little closer to him.

“Are you two having a deep and meaningful?”

I jumped back from him, feeling somewhat guilty as I looked at the blonde girl who had returned and was watching us with narrowed eyes.

“Go away, Shara,” said Zac.

I wanted to smile at what I thought was a joke, until I saw his serious expression. The girl pouted her lips up at him, and he took another drag of his cigarette, looking unconcerned with her feelings.

Shara glared at me and then back to him, saying, “You’ll be bored within minutes,” she muttered, as she turned away and headed back across the court.

My eyes narrowed as I watched her retreating into the darkness. I folded my arms and stood away from the brick wall, more hurt than I cared to realize.

“I’ll leave. I don’t want to come between you and your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he replied.

“She might think differently about that,” I returned.

He flicked his cigarette onto the grass next to the court, and snapped, “Not my concern.”

Alarm bells went off somewhere in my brain, hearing his unsettling honesty. He didn’t care about her and most likely treated all girls the same way. I needed to keep my distance, knowing he was just too dangerous for me. I had to walk away, right now. Hadn’t we all been taught to stay away from trouble?

Soft panting cut into my thoughts, and my ears tuned in to what was happening behind me. I didn’t know whether to be excited or disgusted.

So I covered it with humor, and muttered, “She doesn’t sound boring.”

Zac eyed me thoughtfully.

“Just ignore Shara. She doesn’t know what planet she’s on half the time.”

I slowly nodded my head, still feeling hurt from Shara’s words, because there was a part of me that probably believed her. He would be bored, because unlike the girl behind me, I had no idea of what I was doing. I looked down at my feet, hoping that he didn’t expect to end up doing something with me like Noah was doing. Was that why everyone had disappeared?

I suddenly thought of Sophie and remembered that she had been quite drunk. I also had to get away from this situation, because I had no idea of how to handle it.

“I need to go find Sophie,” I said next.

He stood up from the low wall in silence, and I looked up at him in awe, realizing he was at least six feet tall. I swallowed as I took in the definition of his muscled body under his T-shirt. He was gorgeous and so not in my league.

“Nice meeting you, Ava,” he murmured, putting his hands in his pockets.

I didn’t miss the tattoo on his hand between his thumb and finger before it disappeared into his pocket.

“You, too,” I mumbled, my mind elsewhere, wondering about the rest of his body and the perfectly placed tattoos that I just knew he would have, all of them telling a story.

He stepped closer to me, and my heart raced so much that it was just one long fluttering sound. His hands stayed in his pockets as he looked at my lips for a moment, almost like he was concentrating on them. Hard.

“Best you go and find your friend,” he said coolly, his eyes meeting mine for a moment before he stepped back. “And stay away from Antony.”

I swallowed down a lump of lust and regret, wanting him to kiss me. Was I that boring? Was I reading the wrong signals?

“Why?” I asked.

“Just trust me,” he said with one last searing look before he disappeared back to the party.

My shoulders dropped in disappointment. He obviously couldn’t get away fast enough, because I had bored him that much. Awesome. Feeling like an idiot, I headed back over to the party to find Sophie. I found her near the pool, looking very drunk and dancing with Antony, her arms locked around his neck.

Did she really want to do this tonight? I went over closer to them, trying to get her attention, but she was too involved as they started to kiss. I stopped in my tracks, knowing I couldn’t interrupt them now. I turned back around and came face to face with Shara.

“You should stay away,” she said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “You’re too good for him.”

My eyes narrowed, wondering if I had heard her right. What did that even mean? She handed me a shot glass with a wink and then tapped her glass against mine.

“Cheers!”

I watched her gulp hers back, and then I did the same, cringing at the taste. She cheered and then disappeared back into the dancing crowd.

“Ava!” giggled Sophie, calling me over.

I sauntered up to them as Antony went to put his arm around me and hug us both. I cringed and tried to disentangle myself.

“I’m going to head home,” I muttered. “Are you coming or staying?”

“Stay a bit longer,” she pleaded with a giggle. “Puhleese.”

“Have another drink, Ava,” Antony said with a grin on his face.

I ignored him as Sophie mouthed for me to stay and wait for her. I agreed and turned away as they started to kiss again. Now I had to kill time while Sophie had her fun.

I spotted the big blond guy talking to a girl nearby and scanned the party to see if Zac was still around. I walked away from Sophie and headed over to a less crowded part of the garden and checked my phone. Sophie had put a photo of us on Facebook from earlier in the night and I liked it. I let out a yawn and suddenly felt tired, like bone weary tired. I looked back over at the party feeling like my eyes were working slower than usual. My eyelids felt heavy and the garden started to spin. Surely I wasn’t having a delayed reaction to the alcohol. I carefully walked further away from the main party looking for anywhere to sit down. I was feeling really weird. What the hell was going on with me?

I felt like I was outside of my own body and not in control, which made me panic. I had never felt like this before, and I suddenly wondered why everything was happening in slow motion. People spun around me, and I stopped walking, trying to get my balance. My eyes wouldn’t work properly as they slowly tried to focus on something. I felt fuzzy. The music suddenly sounded very far away and my heart thudded very slowly in my chest. I felt my knees hit the ground, and then there was blackness.

Zac

I left Antony’s place and headed back down Noah’s driveway with a deep scowl. I couldn’t stop thinking about the beautiful innocent girl I had met and how I had to hold myself back from kissing her like my life depended on it.

She was too innocent for the likes of me, and I had to stay away, even though she was the first girl in a very long time to make me feel…different. I didn’t want to leave her at the party, especially around the morons she went to school with, but I had no other choice. I was more dangerous than all of them. So, it was probably best that she stayed with them.

I didn’t want to think of how I felt when I first set eyes on her. It was like I had been hit with a lightning bolt. I didn’t want to think of the sweet scent of strawberries on her skin and hair, like she had just freshly showered before coming out tonight. I didn’t want to think of those innocent lips that looked like they had been created for sin. I shook my head in annoyance. I was losing my fucking mind.

“So, are we going to fuck now?”

I turned around and saw that Shara had followed me out of the party. She was always an easy lay, when I couldn’t be bothered to try for anyone else. She was a means to an end, to make me forget everything for a couple of minutes and lose myself.

I looked at her reddened eyes and suddenly thought that I didn’t want to do it with her tonight. She had the wrong eyes, wrong hair, wrong everything.

“Earth to Zac,” she said, laughing and licking her lips.

As I continued to look at her, I questioned if I could think of Ava if I closed my eyes. Fuck, I’m an asshole. My phone buzzed with Noah’s ringtone.

“Yeah?”

“She’s passed out, Zac. I think she’s taken something,” he rushed.

I looked to Shara.

“Who?”

“Ava! She’s out of it on the grass.”

“Fuck,” I muttered angrily.

I quickly ran back up the driveway and over to the party again. If one of those fucktards had given her something, I would kill them. I saw Noah and Will crouching next to her body on the ground and a crazy anger riled up inside me as I ran over.

“She’s still conscious,” Will said to me as I crouched down next to her.

“I’ll kill the fuckers who messed with her,” I growled.

“She may have taken it herself,” Noah announced belligerently.

“Look at her! Do you honestly think she would?” said Will.

“Let’s get her away from the party,” I said, lifting her up from the grass and into my arms.

Her head lolled back, and I couldn’t help but look at the long expanse of her perfect skin along her neck and chest. I carried her out of the party and over to Noah’s place.

“Who was she with when I left?”

“No one,” said Will. “She talked to her friend and then was checking her phone the last time I saw her.”

“Oh, no! What happened?” asked Shara with mock surprise as she reached Noah’s place.

I went inside the unit and then stopped and gritted my teeth, glaring at Shara.

“Did you fucking do this, Shara?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said shiftily, not meeting my eyes.

“What did you give her?” I growled.

“Just some GHB.”

“For fuck’s sake! Why would you do that, you moron?” I spat angrily.

“Screw you, Zac. She’ll be awake in an hour.”

“Get the fuck out!” I screamed as I put Ava gently down on the couch.

Chapter Two: You’re Safe Here

Ava

I was awake, but I couldn’t open my eyes or move my head, arms or legs at first. I heard everything but couldn’t quite put it all together. I felt numb and lifeless.

I eventually opened my eyes and slowly focused on my surroundings. I was lying down somewhere and my head hurt.

“She’s awake.”

I slowly turned to see Zac’s face in front of me, and I instantly felt pleased that I was seeing him again. I didn’t miss the worry on his face before he hid it with a scowl.

“Ava?”

“What happened?” I murmured thickly.

“You were drugged.”

“You drugged me?” I asked, trying to move my legs. “I need to get up.”

He looked annoyed and said, “No, someone else did.”

“Where am I?”

“My place,” said Noah, coming into my line of sight.

Panic swirled around inside me as I gasped and tried to sit up. What were they doing with me? I could be trapped here! I was on a couch and scrambled to sit up, looking around the room, feeling utterly dizzy.

“Where’s Sophie?” I demanded.

“Still at the party,” said Noah.

“I want to go back there,” I cried, trying to scramble off the couch. “I don’t want to be here.”

My legs soon gave out and I fell between the couch and the coffee table.

“Ava, stop! You’re safe here,” demanded Zac as he pulled me up and placed me back on the couch.

I glanced down at his hands still holding me and tried to pull away from him. His hands left my body and my head felt like it was still on the couch as I groaned.

“Chill,” coaxed Noah, coming closer. “Whatever you’re thinking, you’ve got it wrong. Shara drugged you for a joke.”

I sat forward on the couch, my heavy head in my hands.

“With what?” I muttered, remembering the conversation now.

“GHB,” said Zac.

A door burst open and two of the other guys from their group walked in, laughing and drinking beers. I was in a room full of strange guys, and I tried to feel for my phone, but it felt like my limbs were too heavy to move. Fear made me feel sick.

I couldn’t believe I was in this situation and I was an idiot for taking that shot from Shara. I should be home now in my safe bed, not on this couch with strangers. Was Sophie searching for me? What did these guys want? Were they really just helping me? They could have done anything while I was out for the count. I looked down at my clothes to see nothing had changed and then looked up into Zac’s eyes. He was sitting on the coffee table in front of me, his elbows on his knees, watching my every move.

The guys across the room laughed at something as they talked loudly and I cringed at the noise. My head still hurt and I suddenly felt very cold and shivered uncontrollably.

“Here,” said Zac passing me a hoodie. “Put this on.”

I took it slowly. My hands and arms still weren’t working at the speed I was accustomed to. Zac leaned over and took it from me, helping me put my arms into it.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

“Stop freaking out,” he said, sitting back down on the coffee table. “Whatever you might be thinking…it’s wrong.”

“Drink something,” said Noah, coming over with a glass of water.

I looked at the glass and pulled back. They had to be kidding, right? I would never drink around these people again.

“Get her an unopened bottle of water,” said Zac with a glare.

“Right,” said Noah, disappearing from my sight.

I studied Zac, curious as to how he seemed to be a step ahead of my thoughts. The other two guys suddenly laughed at something again, and then one let out a big burp. Zac’s eyes connected with mine, reassuring me that I would be okay. His eyes were so potent that I was afraid that I’d do anything he asked, drugs or no drugs in my system.

I felt slightly entranced as the intensity radiated between us, and I tried to concentrate on my breathing. In and out. In and out.

Part of me wanted to keep looking at him, but I had to remind myself that I had been drugged and taken back to a stranger’s house. I needed to find Sophie and my phone, but as his eyes warmed me, I forgot everything. Who was this gorgeous guy who seemed to tease my senses? The senses that before tonight, I questioned if I even had.

Noah walked back into my sight and passed me a bottle of water.

“Party is over. Police came to stop the music.”

I took the bottle and tried to twist the lid, and then watched Zac lean over and twist it open for me.

“Thanks,” I stammered, taking a long grateful sip.

“Did you see her friend?” asked Zac.

“No, but Antony looked to be passed out by the pool,” said Noah.

A look passed between them, but I was in too much of a daze to speculate what it meant.

“I need to call her,” I mumbled, looking at Zac.

He passed my phone that had been beside him on the coffee table. I quickly looked at the screen to see text messages from Sophie. I opened them and tried to focus.

Sophie: Where did you go?

Sophie: Did you go home without me?

Sophie: I’m leaving the party now. Need sleep. Antony didn’t happen…Talk tomorrow

I exhaled in relief and looked back up to Zac who was still watching me. I went to smile and then a sudden nausea came over me. I covered my mouth and looked to him.

“Over here,” he said, getting up quickly and picking me up.

He put me down in a bathroom, and I reached the toilet just in time before I vomited. I heard the door close behind me as I vomited again. I stood up and wiped my mouth, checking that I hadn’t made a mess on Zac’s hoodie.

I felt a little better, until I looked at myself in the mirror and groaned. I looked revolting. My eye makeup had smudged, and my hair was frizzy and wild looking. I wished I had a hair tie, but then Zac didn’t look the type to like ponytails. I wet my hands and ran them through my hair, getting rid of the frizz as best I could. Why was I even bothering? I just needed to go home.

The door opened and Zac leaned against the door frame, his hands in his pockets.

“Okay?”

“Terrible,” I mumbled, my cheeks flushing as I looked away. “I need to go home.”

“The effects will pass soon. By the time you’re awake tomorrow, you’ll be back to normal.”

I gave him a nod and felt dizzy again. I held onto the basin to steady myself and then swallowed.

“Do you take it for fun?”

“It’s usually taken as a downer, when you need to come off an upper,” he said, not really answering my question. “Or, if you want to commit date rape.”

I gasped and glared at him.

“Which is what you thought we all had planned for you in there,” he said knowingly.

I couldn’t deny it. He knew what I had been thinking all along. I gave a slight shrug, still feeling horribly dizzy.

“Which means you’re obviously dating the wrong guys,” he said, his eyes piercing mine.

I instantly shook my head.

“I don’t date any guys,” I said, cringing at my own words.

I hadn’t meant for that to come flying out of my mouth, and I looked up at him unsurely. He would think I was some little innocent idiot, and I hoped he hadn’t heard me.

He, of course, hadn’t missed a thing. His eyes knowingly had seen through me. He gave a slight nod like he was confirming something in his own head and then pulled himself back a little.

“So, where’s home?”

“Two blocks away.”

“I’ll walk you back,” he said stepping back from the door.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to. I can do it,” I said quickly, not knowing whether my nerves would handle walking alone with him.

“You guys done? I’m hanging for a piss,” said a guy coming in and looking me up and down.

He stood beside me and I heard his zipper. I quickly moved out of the bathroom almost stumbling into Zac.

If he thought I was uncomfortable, he didn’t let on as he headed back into the main room where the other guys were still drinking and smoking. I could see that the numbers had increased, and the big blond guy was watching us. I crossed my arms, feeling uncomfortable as they all studied me. Zac gave them a glare and then continued to the front door, not saying a word as he opened it for me.

“See you, Ava,” called out Noah with a cheeky smile.

I gave him a quick smile before I stepped out and then heard all the other guys shout out their goodbyes to me.

“Bye, Ava!”

“Love you, Ava.”

“Come back again, Ava!”

Zac swiftly closed the door on them, putting their shouts and laughter to a more muted volume in the night air. I slowly went down the steps and saw that Noah lived in a separate unit on top of a garage at the back of the main house. I stumbled a little on the last step and quickly righted myself, still feeling the drug effects.

“I can drive you home,” he said behind me.

I shook my head and answered, “No, I can walk.”

Knowing I couldn’t handle the closeness of being inside a car with him, I asked, “So, Noah lives up there?”

“Some families like to keep their failures separate,” he murmured behind me.

I gave him a puzzled look, wondering what he meant but knew he wouldn’t enlighten me even if I asked him. He passed me and started making his way up the main driveway, his hands in his pockets. I quickly tried to catch up, my limbs still feeling heavy.

I heard splashing and giggling next door at Noah’s party and the music that had been turned down. I tried to look between the trees and bushes but could only make out the deck that was lit up.

“You want me to take you back there?” he asked suddenly.

I looked over to him to see he was walking backwards, observing me with his hood on over his head. He looked so amazingly mysterious like that and I took a breath.

“No,” I said, continuing to walk.

He hadn’t stopped once and was nearly at the end of the driveway before I realized he was most likely wanting to get back to his own party at Noah’s. He was walking me home under sufferance and I felt stupid. I sped up, folding my arms in front of me, enjoying the warmth from the borrowed hoodie that smelt like soap and cigarettes. I pulled the hood over my head as well and continued to walk beside him.

“So, do you live around here, too?” I asked, willing my dizziness to go away so I could make the most of our two-minute walk.

“Sometimes,” he returned, leaving it at that.

I continued to walk.

“Do you go to Uni?”

“No,” he said glancing at me in my hood, his eyes narrowing for a split second before he looked away and kept walking in silence.

What was that look, I thought nervously. Did he remember that I had his hoodie on and he wanted it back?

“You’re very mysterious.”

“I was a date rapist an hour ago.”

I covered my face with my hands.

“I’m sorry about that, but I had only met you earlier tonight. What was I to think?”

He didn’t respond, but continued to walk alongside me.

“So, Shara,” I pressed. “If not a girlfriend, then a friend?”

“Just a girl.”

“Who wants to be a girlfriend?”

“I don’t do girlfriends,” he stated.

“Why don’t…”

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” he interrupted.

I lowered my eyes and looked down at the pavement.

“I haven’t really been looking for one, I guess,” I said softly, which was the truth.

He continued to walk beside me in silence.

“Or, maybe no one finds me interesting enough,” I said with a shrug.

He gave me a questioning glance before looking away.

I suddenly wondered why I was being so honest with this cool, mysterious guy who was definitely not being open or honest with me.

He continued to walk in silence with his hands still in his pockets, and a scowl on his face. Maybe I was annoying him? I probably needed to stop talking altogether. I slightly stumbled over an uneven section of the pavement and his hand shot out to stop me from falling. I righted myself and we kept walking in silence. I tried not to feel hurt, realizing this guy didn’t even like me. What was wrong with me?

We reached my house and I stopped at the driveway.

“This is me.”

He stopped and peered at the house and then looked at me. His eyes bored into me again, and I felt my stomach do a backflip. He pulled my phone out of his pocket and passed it to me.

“Thanks for taking care of me tonight,” I said, taking it from him and trying not to touch his fingers.

He nodded but didn’t say anything.

I didn’t know what he was thinking, but I suddenly didn’t want the night to end like this. What would other girls do in this situation? Would Monica lean in, kiss him, and say thanks? His eyes burned into me, like they wanted something more, but his body was stepping back, like he was in direct conflict with himself.

But then again, maybe I was reading it all wrong, and he didn’t feel an ounce of attraction towards me. He was looking after me out of duty, because his friend had drugged me.

“Well, thanks again,” I said, unable to hide the hurt in my voice.

I wanted him to want me. I wanted him to think I was attractive. I wanted him to kiss me.

He stepped even further back, and said, “Take care, Ava.”

Then he turned away.

Hurt feelings dug deep into my chest.

I walked to the front door, and tried my hardest not to look back at him. I unlocked the door and then glanced over my shoulder. He had already disappeared back down the street. Hurt weighed me down, and I let out a deep sigh of despair as I walked into the house.

Zac

“Did you give her a bit?” Will asked, laughing as I stepped back into Noah’s place.

“I’ll give you my fist in a minute,” I muttered going over to the fridge to get a beer.

I was restless from wanting something I had no right to want.

“She was hot,” said Noah from the couch.

“Nothing like taking a bit of innocence to finish off the night,” said another with a chuckle.

“How about you all shut the fuck up and don’t talk about her again,” I spat angrily.

They all stopped and Will changed the subject instantly.

I leaned against the kitchen bench and took an almighty swig of my cold beer. I had never been so tempted in all my life when I had first seen her tonight. She was beautiful. She seemed so unaware of herself, of her ability to drive a guy to his knees. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t have a boyfriend, especially when I saw the tools eyeing her tonight at the party. She was so oblivious to their attention and their intentions. I wanted to protect her and tell them all she was mine.

But she wasn’t for me. She was too nice and way too innocent. I always kept my distance from girls like her, because they always wanted more than I was ever prepared to give.

I took another swig of beer, knowing I needed to rid myself of the thought of her. I had walked away from the temptation with all the self-control I could muster. Enough.

Ava

By the next afternoon, I felt normal again, but hurt. I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to see what he saw. Maybe I was just too plain and boring? I had stirred nothing in him while he had stirred total discontent within me. He was the first guy to ever make me feel that nervous craziness and that was very different compared to the boys at school. He looked like he had experienced a lot of what life had to offer him. He had reduced me to a quivering mess last night but was untouchable and totally not into me. How unfair was that? It only made me want him more.

I heard laughing downstairs and knew my father was back with his girlfriend from their weekend getaway. They did a lot of weekend getaways, which suited me fine; the less I saw of them both, the better. I was under no illusions. My father worked hard and wanted to play harder, and it was complicated with a teenage daughter under the same roof who reminded him of the woman who had left him five years ago.

Sarah and I did not have much in common other than my father. She enjoyed the designer life and worked very hard to find a rich man to marry who could afford her lifestyle. Enter my father. I tried to keep my distance from both of them.

My phone rang and I jumped on it to see it was Sophie.

“Hey,” she said “what happened to you last night?”

I wanted to tell her but decided that I wanted to keep Zac to myself for a while.

“What happened with you and Antony?” I asked instead.

“Nothing too serious, but I got to second base with him,” she said giggling, “He’s so cute, Ava.”

“Yeah,” I said, knowing that I didn’t find him attractive at all.

I knew who was attractive now and the bar had been set high.

“So, Nathan is having a party next Saturday, and we have to go,” she continued. “You’ve been sent a Facebook invite.”

“Okay.”

“I plan to go to all of their parties from now on. I had so much fun last night. Did you?”

I paused. Apart from being drugged.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Anyone you like?”

A dark, mysterious rebel, I wanted to say, but instead, I told her, “Not really.”

“I’ll find you someone, maybe at Nathan’s party. See you at school tomorrow.”

I put my phone down and then went to my laptop, opening Facebook. I saw the invite for Nathan’s party and accepted. Then I was soon searching out Antony on my Friends List and then clicking on his profile. I then clicked on his friends list and searched for either Zac or Noah. I found Noah’s profile and opened it, seeing a photo of him doing the devil sign with his fingers. I searched through his friends list and found a profile called Zac Demented and knew that it was him.

I knew it wasn’t his real surname, but it was obviously his way of keeping his distance from the social world. Only people who knew him would find him. His profile photo was of a skull with crossbones, like a pirate warning, and I couldn’t help but feel amused. I had been warned. His cover photo was a close-up of a tattoo and I knew it had to be his, and I wondered what part of his body it covered. I had seen the ones on his arms and was curious if all of the tattoos on his arms continued onto his chest or back. I found myself moistening my lips just thinking about his body and his tattoos and shook my head. I had lost my mind.

I was disappointed to see that the rest of his profile was blocked from viewing and I wanted to be crazy for a moment and click on “Add Friend.” I stood up, away from the laptop as if not trusting myself. He would have gone home last night and not given me another moment’s thought. Why would I even set myself up for the rejection? He wouldn’t want me as a Facebook friend.

But I wanted to. I was drawn to him. There was something about him that just made me want to let everything go and be crazy. What was the worst thing that could happen? He would reject the friend request, no big deal. I could handle that. Couldn’t I?

I braced myself and quickly sat back down and clicked on it, cringing as it processed. What had I done? I quickly clicked on Noah’s as well so it didn’t look like I was just singling Zac out. Maybe they would all have a laugh at my expense? Maybe they wouldn’t.

I kept my distance from my father and Sarah until I was asked to come down to share dinner with them. Sarah had done her usual and had ordered a Thai banquet that had been delivered from the nearest restaurant.

“How was your weekend?” asked my father, looking relaxed and happy at the table.

“Okay,” I said starting to eat. “Yours?”

“We had a lovely time, Ava,” Sarah said, beaming at me.

“Great,” I mumbled, starting to eat.

I didn’t miss the look between the two of them and suddenly stopped chewing. Something was going on with them and my skin prickled.

“Ava, I’ve asked Sarah to move in with us,” said my father with a smile.

I tried not to choke on the food in my mouth and swallowed hard. I looked from him to her, to see she was beaming. She was one step closer to a ring. I looked back at my father, realizing the smile was forced, and he was waiting for my reaction. I wanted to shout and scream. I wanted to remind him that my mother might come back. I wanted to tip the contents of my plate over Sarah’s head, but I didn’t do any of it.

I forced a smile instead.

“That’s great, Sarah. You’re practically here every night anyway.”

She giggled and took my father’s hand on the table.

“I know, and I’m really looking forward to getting to know you better, Ava.”

I felt my food rise back up my throat. That was the last thing I wanted. I went back to eating, forcing my food down, so I could leave the table. I wanted to be anywhere but here right now. I listened to them talk about their weekend and laugh about funny shared moments, excluding me from the conversation. I needed to move out. It was only going to get worse. My father was moving on, and I hated him for it.

My phone beeped with a notification and I quickly looked down at it. Noah had accepted my friend request and I suddenly felt delighted. It soon beeped again with a Facebook wall message. I put my chopsticks and napkin over my plate and got up from the table. I headed upstairs, leaving them to it.

Noah: All back to normal?

I smiled and responded: Yes, whatever that is.

He didn’t say anything more and I sat on my bed, happy that one request had been successful. Now I just needed one from Zac.

Zac

I shook my head at Noah who was sitting across from me on the couch. He laughed as he kicked his shoes off.

“What? She sent me a friend request.”

“You didn’t have to accept, you douche,” I said, and went back to concentrating on my laptop.

Noah chuckled again.

“Are you going to accept? I know she would have sent you one,” he said lighting a joint.

“No,” I replied, my fingers typing quickly, my eyes glancing over information, photos, and details she had no idea that were available online with the right knowledge.

“You’re hacking into her stuff as we speak, aren’t you?” laughed Noah. “You’ve got it bad.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Noah,” I muttered, still typing.

Noah shook his head and then leaned back and dragged on his joint.

“She’s hot.”

I continued to type, ignoring him. I knew she was hot, the hottest girl I had ever met.

“Like really hot,” Noah added, knowing he was the only one who was allowed to give me shit.

Anyone else would have had my fist to his jaw a minute ago. I hadn’t been a champion underground fighter over the years for nothing.

“Find anything interesting?”

“Nope,” I said.

He chuckled again.

“You wouldn’t tell me anyway.”

I sighed, and said, “I need to stay away from her.”

He grinned, saying, “She’d be good for you.”

I shook my head.

“I’d be the worst kind of bad for her.”

Ava

At about three o’clock the next morning, I received the notification that I wanted. Zac had accepted my friend request. I padded over to my laptop, logged on and looked at his profile. There were a few messages on there from friends and links to bands and their music. He hadn’t completed any information on himself and had just an email address listed. He hadn’t put up any photos, but I could see he had been tagged in a couple. They were all group shots with him at a pub with Noah and the blond guy. Others were at a music festival with him drinking beers. There was nothing else, and I was disappointed that I couldn’t get any more information from his page. He truly was mysterious.

I received another notification of a message. Zac had responded on my wall to Noah’s discussion with me about being back to normal.

Zac: Normal is not something to aspire to…it’s something to get away from.

I grinned at his response, thinking of what to say back to him. Noah responded back to him first.

Noah: Someone famous said that…you didn’t come up with that, Demented.

I typed part of a quote from a favorite French artist I had studied.

Ava: …the normal is psychotic. Normal means lack of imagination, lack of creativity.

I hit enter and giggled softly to myself, waiting for what would be said next.

Zac came back instantly.

Zac: For me, insanity is super sanity…

It was the beginning of my quote by Jean Dubuffet and I giggled excitedly. He had known exactly who and what I was talking about. Noah responded next.

Noah: I’m too high for this – see you fuckers

I smiled in excitement, reading over the conversation. I had to look at my quote and really understand it. I was too normal. I focused solely on school and I needed an outlet, needed to show my imagination and creativity. Maybe, just maybe, he would like me a little more, too.

Chapter Three: Good Girls Don’t Make Calls at 2:30 a.m.

Ava

“So who are those guys you were talking to on Facebook?” asked Sophie the next day.

I shrugged and said, “Just those guys we all talked to at the party on Saturday night.”

She glared at me and said, “I didn’t realize you became that close.”

“I didn’t,” I lied. “They’re just friends.”

She went back to concentrating on her phone, obviously re-reading my conversation on Facebook.

“Noah…that’s Antony’s hot neighbor, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I said watching the teacher walk in and turn on the projector.

“Are you interested in him?” she whispered.

“No,” I said, but I was very interested in his friend.

“They look like trouble, if you ask me,” she said as the class started.

I wasn’t asking.

When I got home from school that afternoon, I glowered when I saw Sarah’s car in the driveway.

“Ava? Is that you?” she called out sweetly from the kitchen.

I grunted, knowing she knew it was me. I had no time for her pretense.

“How was school?” she asked coming into the main hallway with a bright smile and tight leggings. “I’ve just come back from a workout.”

“School was great,” I muttered as I moved past her to go up the stairs to my room.

I knew my father really liked her and was making her a permanent member in the house, but I didn’t have to like it.

“What do you have planned for this weekend?” she asked. “We’re going up to Sydney.”

Of course they were.

“I’m going to a party,” I mumbled, my back to her as I continued up the stairs.

“Need a party dress? We could go shopping,” she said brightly.

“No, thanks, I’m wearing jeans.”

“To a party?” she asked in disbelief. “Ava, it’s always important to look your best at all times. You never know who you will meet.”

“I’ve met everyone that will be there. I go to school with them,” I returned coolly.

I made it to my room and closed the door behind me, shutting her and her silly opinions out. We were never going to be friends, and I knew she was trying extra hard with me so I could give positive reviews to my father. She’d do anything to get her closer to having a ring and the life she wanted.

I sat on the bed and put some music on. Sometimes the silence in the house was deafening and made me want to scream.

My father and I used to talk. Sometimes we even used to laugh. But everything had changed five years ago, and now we hardly say a word to each other. He was occupied with the law firm for the most part, and then Sarah, when he got home. He didn’t have much time in his schedule for me anymore.

I opened my bag and got out my laptop, opening it up onto my bed. Time to study.

* * *

Later on in the week, I went to the hairdressers by myself and provided them with a few pictures of styles I liked and ended up with a layered look with a fringe swept to the side. I looked good and was happy with the change.

Sarah had been excited that night when I had appeared with my new style, and my father put it all down to her. I wasn’t going to even try and tell him any different, because he wouldn’t have heard me anyway.

I practiced different make-up looks, liking the thick eyeliner that made my eyes pop. Sophie came over and practiced with me, looking forward to Nathan’s party. I still hadn’t told her about Zac, even though there was nothing much to say. I hadn’t heard a thing from him, and they hadn’t been on Facebook at all. I knew that we didn’t hang in the same circles as them and probably wouldn’t see them again. But I desperately hoped we did, because I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

* * *

By Saturday night, we were ready to have some fun. I had on a pair of tight black jeans with my Converse sneakers and my hair was down and straightened, thanks to my new hair straightener. I had more make-up on, especially around my eyes, and I felt a little more confident when I walked into Nathan’s party.

Sophie wore a new tight dress and heels and grinned at me excitedly as we walked through the dancing bodies. I didn’t want to be exactly like her. I had my own style going on, but I knew that grin. We were feeling good about ourselves and wanted some fun.

Our regular school friends greeted us, and we were shown the drinks area. Antony was already standing there doing shots and poured two for us. Sophie asked him to take a photo of us doing shots with her phone, and then she uploaded it to Facebook, tagging me in it. I finally felt like I was doing what I should be doing on a Saturday night. Sophie’s happiness was infectious, and I laughed and drank with her.

In the early hours of the morning, the party continued, and I sat out in the front of the house with my head spinning. I had drunk too much, but still felt happy enough. I focused on the screen of my phone and saw it was 2:30 a.m. My finger slipped and opened up the Contacts page and started to scroll through. I went to close it and then stopped. My eyes narrowed on a Contact that I didn’t know I had.

Zac.

Totally surprised, I was a little curious on how it got there and then I smiled at the thought of him adding it that night. I wanted to press it, call him and hear his deep voice. Whether it was the alcohol giving me the extra confidence or my current mindset of wanting to rebel, I didn’t really know or care. So I pressed it. My stomach fluttered with butterflies as I waited for him to answer.

“Hey,” shouted Zac, with loud heavy music in the background.

“Hi,” I said, wondering if he could hear me at all.

It sounded like he was in a club or pub somewhere.

“What’s up?” he shouted back.

I was about to answer when I heard a girl laughing and then the call ended.

Right. I glared at the screen and then shook my head. Why the hell did I do that? He was busy with another girl and now I felt like an idiot. I leaned my head against the railing on the front step and closed my eyes. My head spun, and I felt completely annoyed at myself. I needed to stop thinking about him.

My phone rang in my hand making me jump and I looked at the screen to see it was him. I thought about not answering it, but my thumb had other ideas.

“Hey,” I said quietly.

“You okay?” he asked, now somewhere quiet, so I could hear him.

“Yep,” I answered, closing my eyes and holding my head in my hand.

“Good girls don’t make calls at 2:30 a.m. unless something is wrong.”

“That’s what you think I am? A good girl?” I asked in a whisper.

“Aren’t you?” he returned.

I didn’t want to answer. I knew the answer and so did he. I suddenly hated that he thought I was a good girl.

“I can be bad,” I announced.

“That’s the alcohol talking,” he said next.

I was annoyed at his response.

“So, you’re only interested in bad girls?”

“Something like that.”

I cringed at my own stupidity. Didn’t I already know that he wasn’t interested? Now I had to confirm it all over again. I really was an idiot.

“How’s the party? Going wild on vodka cruisers?” he asked in a mocking tone.

I was puzzled over his knowledge of the party, and then I realized it was from Sophie’s photo on Facebook. I cringed, hoping I looked okay in it.

“Tequila shots, actually,” I said quietly. “How’s the party wherever you are?”

“Rhino just finished their set. I’m about to leave.”

“I guess your bad girls like the band Rhino.”

“Some,” he replied.

“How many bad girls are there?”

“A few.”

I shook my head. I was so out of his league, and he was so not interested. He had the whole girl thing truly covered.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to them all.”

“Do me a favor,” he said next.

“What?”

“Go home.”

I glowered at his demand, not understanding where it was coming from or why he would even say it.

“Why? The party is still going.”

“Go home, Ava,” he demanded softly.

The call ended.

I looked at the screen in disbelief. Who did he think he was? He didn’t get to order me around. I purposefully stood up and put my phone in my pocket. I was going to get another tequila shot, just to defy him.

An hour later, I was completely drunk and waiting for Sophie who had gone upstairs with Antony. She was determined to do what she wanted to do and was not going to wait around for it any longer. I was sure she would come down no longer a virgin and then it only left me. Me, the one who was nowhere near the vicinity of losing it. I stumbled back out to the front and sat on the step. I needed to go home now, because who knew how long Sophie would be. I was past it. I went to dial a taxi.

“Hey, Ava, all good out here?” asked Tyler coming over and sitting down next to me with a drunken smile.

“All good,” I answered. “Just very drunk and I need to go home,” I slurred, as my phone beeped.

I looked down to see it was a message.

Zac: I thought I told you to go home.

I tried to focus on it, puzzled as to why he was demanding for me to go home. How did he even know I was still here?

“I’m so glad you came tonight,” said Tyler beside me.

I closed the message.

“It’s been a fun night.”

“I’ve had way too many shots,” he said into my ear.

I laughed at him, and said, “Me, too.”

I felt his arm go behind me and then his mouth near my ear. I focused on my screen again, annoyed with Zac’s demands. I typed a response back.

Ava: Being a bad girl feels good.

I pressed Send with determination. I wasn’t really being a bad girl, but as I looked up at Tyler next to me, I suddenly wondered if I should be.

Tyler cooed in my ear, “You look really gorgeous tonight.”

“I do?” I asked with a laugh.

“You do,” he whispered huskily. “Totally gorgeous.”

I smiled, letting the compliment wash over me and making me feel happy.

“Thanks, Tyler.”

It was just what I needed to hear. I needed to concentrate on Tyler and not the mixed-up emotional confusion of Zac in my head.

He inched even closer to me, his lips touching my cheek. I giggled softly as I turned my face slightly towards him. He was going to kiss me.

“Ava!”

I turned slowly at the sound of my name, in a daze, knowing my lips had been a breath away from Tyler’s. I saw Noah leaning out of a car window in front of the house, and I frowned in confusion.

“Let’s go, Ava!” he called out with a cheeky grin.

“What?” I mumbled, trying to comprehend how Noah was here.

I focused on the car to see the big blond guy in the back seat and an angry looking Zac in the driver’s seat.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said under my breath.

“You know him?” asked Tyler at my ear.

“Yeah,” I said still in disbelief.

“She’s busy,” Tyler called out, pulling me against him and nuzzling my neck.

I couldn’t help but giggle at the tickling sensation and then gasped as I heard doors open and the rumbling engine stop. I pulled away from Tyler and watched the three of them head towards us. They looked menacing and I felt a sudden flutter of excitement.

“Hands off unless you want them removed,” said the big blond guy.

Tyler removed his arm from around me.

“What the fuck, man?”

“Time for you to go inside,” warned Noah.

Tyler half laughed.

“So you think you can just go round scaring everyone because you’re big underground fighters?”

I looked to Zac, a question in my eyes. They were underground fighters? He gave me nothing back but anger before he turned to Tyler with his fists clenched.

“You want to test that theory fuck head?” growled Noah.

“I think it’s up to Ava if I go inside or not,” said Tyler standing up on the step and putting his hand out to me.

I didn’t take it, but stood up anyway, looking to Zac. I didn’t care if he was an underground fighter or a circus instructor, I would always choose him.

“Run along,” said Noah with a snicker.

“Ava?” asked Tyler.

I turned to him, and quietly said, “I’m okay. Go inside.”

Tyler looked annoyed as he put his hands up in front of him.

“Whatever.”

The door opened, letting out music and laughter and then slammed shut. I turned to Zac.

“What are you doing here?” I asked sitting back down on the step before my legs collapsed.

The blond guy chuckled, and said, “She’s plastered.”

Zac glared down at me.

“Let’s go,” he demanded as Noah and the blond guy headed back to the car.

I tried to comprehend his anger and his demands and looked at him in confusion.

“What are you doing here?” I asked again. “You don’t even like me,” I whispered.

“Let’s go, Ava,” he said turning away towards the car.

A rebellious urge made me lift my chin, and I spouted the word, “No!”

I heard a growl and then he was in front of me again, but this time picking me up and hoisting me over his shoulder.

I squealed and hit his back, hollering, “Put me down!”

He was silent as he dumped me in the back seat of the car next to the blond guy and slammed the door closed. I looked to the guy next to me and pushed my hair back off my face.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hey,” he said dragging on a joint. “I’m Will.”

Zac got in and started the engine, heavy music filling the car.

“Better put your belt on, he drives fast when he’s angry,” said Will into my ear.

I did what he said and then Zac threw it into first gear and sped off down the street. I held on and felt a little wild at the music and the speed we were going. I turned to Will and focused on him.

“You have a mohawk now,” I shouted looking at his short hair in wonder.

“That’s right,” grinned Will leaning over to me. “You like?”

“Don’t even breathe on her, Will,” growled Zac, his eyes on the road.

Will pulled back from me with a grin and dragged on his joint again, filling the car with a sickly sweet smell.

Noah turned the music down slightly and asked, “So what were you and the Tyler man talking about?”

I leaned back in the seat and suddenly giggled.

“He told me how gorgeous I looked tonight.”

The car accelerated around a corner and I was thrown against the door, hitting my head on the window.

“Ow,” I wailed.

“Well, he sounds amazing,” mocked Will.

“It was nice to get a compliment,” I said, rubbing my head. “I don’t get many.”

“Sounds like you’re hanging around the wrong type of guys,” chuckled Will offering me his joint.

Noah laughed and I saw Zac shake his head, but I was too drunk to understand.

I looked at the joint in Will’s fingers and shook my head. I definitely had too much tequila, and if we went around one more corner on two wheels, I was going to throw up. I squeezed the leather seats and knew it would be a shame to mess up such a nice car. I focused on Zac in front and how he changed the gears with precision, the engine sounding like a rocket.

We were in front of my house in no time, and I tried to find the door handle in the dark. Will leaned over me and opened the door for me with a wink. I giggled and climbed out of the car on shaky legs.

“Bye, beautiful Ava,” grinned Will as he closed the door.

I giggled, “Bye,” as the car engine rumbled and then noisily drove off down the street.

I felt my pocket for my key, hoping I hadn’t lost it, and then I accidently dropped my phone on the grass. A hand that didn’t belong to me picked it up for me, and I gasped to see Zac was with me. Expecting him to still be in the car that was now probably at Noah’s, I stumbled back and lost my footing.

I landed on my butt in the grass and groaned with an “Ow.”

Zac

“You okay?” I asked crouching down to her, wondering if her father was home and if he was a light sleeper.

“My butt hurts,” she mumbled, pushing her hair off her face in annoyance.

I hid a smile, thinking how adorable she looked, defenseless but mad.

“If you weren’t so pissed, I’d offer to rub it better,” I mumbled.

“What?” she said.

“Nothing,” I said.

“You were driving,” she said next, not looking up at me.

“I was,” I agreed.

She looked puzzled, like she was trying to understand the situation..

“Why did you come and get me?”

I looked down at the grass between us and tried to brush off the situation.

“Just wanted you home safe.”

She suddenly hiccupped and then groaned, “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“You’ll feel better if you do,” I said.

She groaned again, and said, “I hate throwing up.”

A neighbor’s dog started to bark across the road.

“Let’s get you inside first,” I said, leaning over and lifting her in my arms. “Anyone else home?”

She let out a soft sigh as I cradled her into me and she rested her head on my shoulder.

“No, just me.”

“How the fuck were you going to get inside by yourself?” I asked quietly in disbelief.

I wanted her to be safe, not coming home to an empty house at four in the morning. I used her key and unlocked the door, stepping inside the house and kicking the door shut.

“I was going to go home with Tyler and screw him seven different ways,” she mumbled, her eyelids drooping.

I stopped at the foot of the staircase and looked down at the beautiful sarcastic girl in my arms.

“Only seven?”

“Mmm hmm,” she said, her eyes closing. “At least he wants me.”

I took a deep breath, wanting to tell her that I wanted her more than anyone else and I’d screw her so many different ways she would lose the ability to count, but she was drunk and almost asleep. Besides, I was meant to be keeping my distance, which wasn’t working out so well.

I headed up the stairs and found her room, looking around and taking it all in. She moved slightly in my arms and then nuzzled up to my neck.

“You smell nice,” she moaned against my skin.

My self-control was being tested, and I swallowed hard as I headed over to the bed and gently put her down. She nestled into the pillow with a soft moan, and I had to count to ten to get some order to my body with all blood going down south. God, I wanted her. I imagined her moaning my name as I pleasured her and had to turn away.

I needed to go home and have a cold shower and leave her alone. I shouldn’t have gone to the party to pick her up, but I hated the thought of her being drunk around high school boys. I had the insane urge to protect her, and it was driving me slightly mad. I took one last look at her and then turned away, knowing I had to stay away. High school boys had nothing on me, and I was the one she needed protecting from.

I left the house making sure the front door was locked behind me and I headed home.

“You’re back already? Things didn’t go well then?” asked Noah as I stepped inside.

“Did you at least fucking kiss her?” asked Will sitting on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table.

“Will,” warned Noah, knowing I was frustrated and that it wouldn’t take much more for me to knock Will out.

“Jesus, Zac man, please tell me you didn’t let those luscious lips go to waste!” teased Will.

“Shut the fuck up,” I growled.

“Oh, man,” groaned Will, not taking the hint. “You want her, so just have her. What’s the big deal?”

“She’s going to be wondering why you picked her up to just drop her at home, Zac man,” said Noah calmly.

I ran my hands through my hair.

“Yeah, well I shouldn’t have fucking done that.”

“You were worried for her, so you made sure she was safe,” said Noah. “There’s no harm in that.”

“You didn’t want Mr. Tyler Football to get his hands on her, that’s what it was,” said Will. “What the hell am I missing here? You never get this worked up over a girl.”

“He’s trying to stay away from her,” said Noah.

Will looked over in disbelief, and said, “And why the hell would you do something stupid like that?”

I shook my head but kept silent.

“You’re a conqueror, Zac man. There are a hundred girls around here to prove it. Why is this one any different?” asked Will.

“He actually likes this one,” said Noah quietly.

Ava

I awoke the next afternoon to my phone vibrating in my pocket, and I quickly scrambled for it. It was Sophie. My head literally exploded with pain and I gasped as I answered it.

“Hey,” I whispered.

“You sound like I feel,” she moaned. “How did you get home last night? I know it wasn’t with Tyler, because he was still with Sasha this morning.”

I looked around the room as I cringed at her voice, trying to remember who I was and what had happened last night. I remembered Zac coming to the party and his fast car. I looked down at my jeans and the Converse sneakers still on my feet. How had I ended up here?

“Are you alive?” asked Sophie.

“Yep,” I whispered.

“So how did you get home?”

I didn’t want to tell her about Zac, because I would have to explain why he had come and picked me up. I didn’t know the reason myself. I remember him telling me to go home and then coming to get me from the party. I had no idea how he found the address of the party or why all three of them threatened Tyler.

“How did you go with Antony?” I asked instead.

“I did it, Avs,” she said with a soft giggle. “I finally did it.”

“And…was it everything you expected?” I asked, lying back down on the bed and wincing from the pain in my head.

She paused, and then whispered, “Not…really. It was kind of quick, but I’m glad I’ve done it now.”

“I can’t believe it,” I whispered, closing my eyes and hoping it would help with the bone gnashing pain.

“I hope he calls me tonight,” she said hopefully. “I feel like going out again and having fun.”

If all the rumors were true, I knew Antony wouldn’t be calling her tonight, but I didn’t want to point that out to her.

“What did he say to you when you left?”

“Nothing, he was snoring away two minutes after we had done it. I left him sleeping.”

“Romantic,” I said sarcastically.

“It was nothing like we’re led to believe, Avs,” said Sophie, sounding a little disappointed. “It only hurt for a moment, but then the whole thing was like just for him. Anyways, I’m going back to bed. See you at school.”

I dropped my phone down on the bed somewhere and tried to lie as still as possible. I had so many unanswered questions from last night, but I just wanted to feel happy for a moment that he had come and picked me up last night. Whatever it meant.

* * *

By Monday afternoon, Sophie came to the realization that Antony had had his fun and wasn’t about to make any lasting commitments to her. She put on a brave face at school, but I knew she was a little crushed at the situation.

Biology was fun with Tyler making jokes and acting like Saturday night hadn’t even happened. I didn’t want to have to explain Zac to him, because I still didn’t understand the situation myself.

Meanwhile, at home, we had a Stepford Wife in the making with Sarah doing everything she could possibly do to forge a perfect relationship with my father. She was up at 5:00 a.m. every morning with her perfect makeup on, making coffee and breakfast for my father before he left for the day. I started to get lunch made for me, even though I preferred the cafeteria at school. Dinner was ready for us when he came home, and I knew she had begun to hide the takeaway containers from the restaurants.

My father looked happy and I felt angry. He was replacing my mother, but I knew I couldn’t talk to him about it. Over the years, we had an unwritten rule in the house whereby we were not allowed to talk about her.

I downloaded Rhino’s album and listened to it. It was undeniably death metal and very crazy, but I started to enjoy it. I listened to the angry growls and felt a little better with my own anger.

Sitting in my room and doing homework no longer held the appeal it used to. I wanted to go out and do something. I wanted to change myself a little and prove I wasn’t a boring good girl.

* * *

I tried to cheer Sophie up by taking her shopping on Thursday afternoon, and I ended up at the hairdressers again, this time coming out with black hair. My brown boring hair had gone and in its place was black hair that apparently made my blue eyes sparkle.

Sophie freaked out at the change in me, and I enjoyed the reaction. Good girls didn’t do things like this. I also made sure I bought some new alternative clothes and went home happy.

I eventually told Sophie a little about Zac, omitting the GHB situation. She listened to everything I had to say, but I knew she wasn’t keen on my interest with someone like him. She called him trouble.

It only made me like him more.

Chapter Four: Stay Away From Me

Ava

On Saturday night, I was disappointed that I had no party plans, and I tried to focus my energies on studying. At 11:00 p.m., I received a text message from an unknown number.

Party at my place. Tonight. Noah

I was up and excitedly getting ready within minutes. I walked the two blocks by myself, knowing that Sophie wouldn’t be too interested in going tonight in light of her comments earlier on in the week. I had put on my tight blue jeans, one of my new tight T-shirts and had straightened my black hair. I put on thick eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss for the lips. I was ready to hopefully see Zac again.

Small groups of people were outside on the driveway near his house and they all took me in, curious to see who I was. I tried not to let them put me off, feeling nervous all of a sudden about seeing Zac again. I had never done something like this, and I suddenly wondered if I had lost my mind.

I was by myself, going into a party where I was lucky if I knew three people. This wasn’t a high school party, either, as I looked around at the groups of people older than me. I had not thought this through properly.

I made my way up the outdoor steps, past another group who stopped to look at me, and then I went inside. The place was full and loud heavy music blared from speakers across the room. I quickly looked around starting to panic when I couldn’t find the only three guys I knew.

Someone moved in front of me, and I could finally see the living room and that’s when I saw him. He was sitting on one of the armchairs thoroughly kissing a girl who was on his lap. I softly gasped at the sight of him kissing her. One of his hands was behind her head, holding her to him as she straddled his legs and rubbed herself against him. I hadn’t known what to expect when I walked in here tonight, but seeing them kissing each other hungrily hurt my pride, and it was hard to breathe. My eyes burned at the sight of them, but I couldn’t look away.

The girl moved to his ear and whispered something with a smile as she continued her mouth assault on his neck. He used the opportunity to take a sip of his beer and look around the room when his gaze landed on me. His eyes narrowed at me, like he either couldn’t believe I was standing there or he was pissed that I was.

I took a deep breath and calmly turned around, making my way over to the front door. How many times did I need him to prove to me that I wasn’t even a thought in his mind? I wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. I wanted to fall into a flood of tears at how stupid I looked.

“Hey, hotness,” said a guy touching my back as I passed him, his hand moving lower and squeezing my bottom hard.

I pushed his hand away, panic crawling up my spine. What was I doing here by myself? What had I become? I never chased guys, especially ones who were not interested in me. He had turned my brain to mush, and I was a fool.

I quickly pushed my way through everyone, getting outside and making my way down the steps. Guys standing on the steps called out to me, and I cringed, needing to get away from them all. I reached the driveway as a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

“What are you doing here?” Zac growled softly.

I pulled my arm out of his grasp and with a snarly attitude, said, “I was invited.”

He swore under his breath and looked really angry, and it hurt.

“I’m going now, so don’t worry about it,” I returned, trying not to cry in front of him.

I didn’t want him to see that I was crushed.

He stepped closer, his hand suddenly cupping my cheek.

“You need to stay away from me,” he said, his eyes burning into mine.

He was so close I could feel his breath on my face and see the anger in his eyes, but his hand was gentle on me.

“Why?” I asked in bewilderment.

He didn’t answer. It looked like he wanted to at first, but then changed his mind. He let me go and ran his hand through his hair, looking exasperated, like I was driving him crazy.

“I get it,” I said softly, turning away from him.

“You don’t,” he said.

I stopped but didn’t look back to him as I said quietly, “I do. You’re not attracted to me, and I’m clearly an idiot for even coming here tonight. I’m sorry that I interrupted your fun,” I said with resignation.

I went to move away and he grabbed my arm again, stopping me.

He turned me back to him, asking as if in disbelief, “You think I’m not attracted to you?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I whispered looking up at him.

His hands went to my waist, and I was suddenly against a parked car, my face inches from his. I felt the tension between us, like little sparks shooting back and forth as he looked at me with his deep intense eyes.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he whispered hoarsely, his hands cupping my face.

He leaned into me, touching my forehead with his own. His words were real, and I stopped breathing with the intensity. He thought I was beautiful? Delight warmed my cheeks and my stomach flipped.

“But you need to stay away from me,” he whispered, piercing my eyes with his own.

“And what if I don’t want to?” I whispered.

“You have to, Ava, because I’m wrong for you. You need to see that. I’m bad and you’re good. You need to go back to wherever you came from and stay there,” he demanded softly.

“I can’t,” I whispered in a half sob.

He closed his eyes for a moment as if trying to gather strength. He breathed me in, his fingers moving to my hair.

“You don’t belong here.”

His words hurt but didn’t match the tender way he touched me. I felt confused and turned on. I didn’t belong anywhere and that was the point of my discontent. His lips grazed my forehead and then he was stepping away from me, his hands gone.

“Go home, Ava,” he growled softly, turning away and heading back to the party.

I silently sobbed and wrapped my arms around myself watching him leave me. I noticed the guy who had grabbed me on the bottom come down the stairs laughing with someone and then he looked over to me.

“She yours, Zac?” he asked, ogling me.

Zac shoved him back onto the steps and then punched him in the face. I flinched in shock.

“Don’t ever touch her again,” he growled.

The guy swore and held his nose, while blood started to pour out and I winced. Zac swung back to me with anger alight in his eyes.

“Go,” he snarled at me.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I took one more look at him and then turned away and headed back up the driveway. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t let the tears out now, not in front of these people. I reached the end of the driveway and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.

Zac

I clenched and unclenched my fist that I had just used and went back inside the unit. The girl I left on the couch was still sitting there, waiting for me and I strode over. She looked up at me expectantly as I reached her, and I motioned for her to follow me. I needed to rid myself of the innocent perfection outside and do what I did best. Use and take, no feelings.

“I’m glad you came back,” she said, following me into my bedroom.

I ignored her, not interested in talking about anything, only needing to lose myself for a while. I went to close the door behind her and saw Will look over to me. I swore under my breath.

“Wait here,” I said leaving the room.

“She gone?” asked Will knowingly.

I was sure no one in here had missed the beautiful girl walking in here tonight, looking nervous in every shade of hotness.

“Yeah, can you make sure she gets home?”

Will put his beer bottle down, and answered, “Sure.”

As he turned away, I asked, “Did you call her…about tonight?”

Will shook his head and said, “No.”

We both looked over to Noah who had a girl against the wall and was busy kissing her. I knew exactly who did, and I wasn’t sure why he was torturing me. I headed back over to the bedroom where the girl was sitting on my bed, already in her bra and knickers, waiting to rock my world.

Ava

Hugging myself tight, I looked up and down the street before I went to cross it, away from the party. A car pulled into the driveway next door and Antony climbed out laughing with a girl. He was drunk and holding onto a beer bottle as she stumbled out, giggling like crazy. I saw Chad and Monica in the front of the car and her eyes narrowed as she recognized me. She said something out the window and Antony looked over to me.

“Ava? Is that you?” he asked with a knitted brow.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I said forcing a smile.

“What are you doing over there?” he laughed, like the idea of me at this party was absurd.

He didn’t know how right he was.

“At a party,” I answered with a shrug, stepping over to them.

“With those guys?” he asked in surprise. “I had no idea you were into death metal and drugs.”

“Losers,” giggled the girl beside him.

“They’re not losers,” I said back at them.

“Since when do you hang out with them?” he asked stepping closer to me.

I felt an instant urge to stretch the truth, so I said, “I have for a little while.”

“I would never have imagined our sweet little Ava hanging around the burners,” he chuckled.

Sweet little Ava? I grimaced at the reference. I wasn’t sweet or little. They didn’t know a thing about me.

“Maybe I’m not so sweet,” I returned, lifting my chin.

Antony chuckled.

“Maybe,” he said, his eyes showing sudden interest. “And maybe I picked the wrong friend.”

I looked at him in disgust. Why the hell did Sophie choose this guy? Did he think that because I was hanging with the so-called “burners” that I would be his next easy conquest?

“Come in and join us,” he said next. “We’re going to have a few more drinks. Leave Noah and his loser buddies to party with themselves.”

“They’re not losers,” I said again in annoyance.

“The guy was one of us once, Ava, and now look at him! He’s a misfit on society.”

“Whatever,” I said, too emotionally strung out to even argue.

What did I know?

“I’m bored with this conversation,” said Monica getting out of the car. “Let’s go inside before someone is robbed,” she said glancing over at a small group at the end of the driveway.

“Beautiful Ava!”

I turned to see Will heading over to me, looking at Antony and Chad with narrowed eyes.

“Everything okay?” he asked as he reached us.

“Yeah,” I said to him as his arm went around my shoulders.

Antony stepped back a little, seeing that Will was a six-foot muscled guy with a mohawk hairstyle and tattoos on his neck. I hid a smile.

“I was just talking to school friends.”

“Sounds exciting,” he said with steely eyes directed at Antony. “Let’s go.”

He pulled me away, his arm still around me.

“You scare them,” I declared as we stopped at a group of people at the beginning of Noah’s driveway.

Will grinned, and remarked, “I scare a lot of people.” He didn’t take his arm away from me. “But not you, for some reason.”

I looked amused.

“Well, not all the time anyway.”

He smiled and grabbed my hand.

“Let’s get you home.”

“I’m perfectly capable of walking two blocks by myself,” I laughed.

“I know that,” he said with knowing eyes. “But humor me,” he said pulling me across the road.

“Hey, Will! Are you going to the Academy gig tomorrow night?” shouted someone.

Will looked back but continued walking.

“Of course.”

“Who’s the girl?” someone shouted.

“Nobody that fucking concerns you,” replied Will still walking with me hand in hand.

“What’s with the midnight stroll? You losing your touch?”

“You’ve normally got them bent over before you know their name!”

Will stopped and turned back.

“Shut it, before I come over there and kick your asses. She’s Zac’s.”

I blinked up at Will, puzzled at how I could belong to Zac, when he wanted me to stay away from him. How did that work? We were walking again, and I noticed how all the comments had stopped instantly at the mention of Zac.

We walked a bit more in silence, away from the party, and Will let my hand go.

“So, why are you leaving the party early?”

“Zac wants me to stay away.”

He grinned, and asked, “You always do what you’re told?”

“Not lately,” I returned with a smile.

“He’s been like a bear with a sore head, since you appeared out of nowhere,” he muttered looking up at my house and stopping.

“Who is Academy and can I come?” I asked suddenly.

Will turned to me.

“You want to come and see Academy?”

“Why not? I haven’t been to a gig before.”

“And you’d want your first one to be a death metal gig?” he asked with his eyebrow cocked. “On a school night?”

“Yes,” I said lifting my chin.

“Zac would not like that,” he said.

“So don’t tell him.”

He chuckled.

“You need to be home doing homework like a good girl tomorrow night. Academy is not a band for you.”

“I’ll get my own ticket then,” I returned.

“It’s sold out.”

I narrowed my eyes in frustration.

“Then I’ll go back to the party and ask if anyone wants to sell one to me.”

He huffed, “Yeah, sure,” and then shook his head. “He can be bat-shit crazy, you know. You probably do need to stay away from him.”

“Why, because I’m such a good girl?”

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. This isn’t some high school game.”

“I’m not playing high school games,” I grated.

Will sighed in exasperation as he looked at me closely.

“Fine, I’ll get you a ticket.”

“Just like that?” I asked starting to smile.

“You’re driving him crazy. It’s kind of fun to watch.”

I grinned, feeling a newfound confidence that made me a little light headed.

“Now go inside. The ticket will be in your letterbox by tomorrow afternoon,” he said heading back to the party.

* * *

The next night I sat down at the dining table where there was a lavish Sunday roast dinner spread out.

“Who else is coming?” I asked my dad sarcastically.

“No one. Sarah wanted to make a Sunday roast dinner a tradition for us,” said my father quietly.

Sarah was still in the kitchen, preparing another plate.

“Which restaurant did this come from?” I muttered.

“Enough,” said my father firmly. “She’s going to a lot of trouble to impress you, Ava. Cut her some slack.”

I rolled my eyes as Sarah walked out with a bowl of peas and a large smile. Her smile faltered as she saw my black hair. She tried to smile again as she set the bowl down and sat next to my father.

“This looks wonderful,” said my father. “Doesn’t it, Ava?”

“Amazing,” I mumbled.

We all spent a couple of minutes passing plates of food to each other and then started to eat.

“So, Ava, you’ve had your hair colored,” said Sarah, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“I did,” I returned, spearing a pea with my fork.

“It’s very dark,” she commented. “Are you an Emo now?”

I speared a roast potato next and tried not to roll my eyes.

“No, I’m not.”

“We’ve noticed you have been going out a lot lately,” said my father glancing across to me. “Do we need to set a curfew or something?”

“I’m eighteen,” I said in disbelief. “Six months ago, remember?”

“We just need to know if you’re home safe,” beamed Sarah.

I felt like reminding them that they were never here to know if I was home safe or not, especially with their weekends away. But I didn’t. I couldn’t be bothered with an argument.

“Are you going out tonight?” asked Sarah looking at my makeup.

I couldn’t tell them about Zac, Noah, or Will, so I innocently said, “Study session with Sophie.”

Sarah eyed me suspiciously while my father went back to his roast. I smiled to myself, feeling powerful. Stretching the truth was fun. I had been missing out over the years.

* * *

I paid the taxi driver and got out, closing the door behind me. It had started to rain and I quickly ran across the city street to find some shelter. I stopped in front of a closed shop and looked up and down the street to get my bearings.

My phone rang and I looked at the screen. Sophie.

“Hey.”

“What are you up to?” she asked. “Studying?”

I cringed, and said, “Ah…no…seeing a band in the city actually.”

“With him?”

“Yeah.”

“So you’re going out on a date and you didn’t tell me?”

“Not a date. Just going to be at the same place…together.”

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Not really, but it’s something I have to do.”

“Well, let me know how it goes.”

A group of gothic-looking girls walked past me, and I decided to casually follow them. They would have to be seeing Academy, too.

“I will. Catch up at school tomorrow.”

I stepped into a puddle and swore under my breath as the shelter stopped and the rain pelted down on my head. I still had Zac’s hoodie from that first night together and had decided to wear it tonight with my jeans. I pulled the hood over my head and quickly ran on ahead.

I saw the small club next to a restaurant and went over to the door, showing my ID and ticket. A burly security guard ripped it in half and ushered me in. I heard the music as soon as I stepped in, and it made the floors vibrate. I went down the stairs, the music getting louder with each step, and then I entered the main room.

People were everywhere watching the band and the room was so hot, it was bordering on steamy. I kept the hood on for the moment, feeling a little insecure as I watched guys banging their heads in time to the double kick drum on stage. Bodies were flying across the room further down near the stage and I watched in awe.

The singer growled and then screamed the words, the guitars delivering a powerful sound that never let up. Wow. It was so loud that it literally shook my ear drums as I stood there and watched. There was some pushing and shoving near me as the guys got into the music, and I stepped back, unsure of where else to go. I watched a girl holding two beers walk past me and weave her way in and out of the bodies, heading into the crowd. I would never find Zac or the guys in this crowd. I turned to the bar and squeezed my way in, ordering a whiskey and coke. I took a sip and felt my hand shake and soon took another, knowing I needed to quell my nervousness.

I watched the band throw their heads back and forth as they played, the singer screaming and crouching over the speakers. It was wild, almost primal as everyone in the crowd moved their heads in time and jumped up and down. I took in the girls that I could find, all alternative, lots with red hair, all with piercings and tattoos. Did Zac like that?

I thought I had been a little wild dying my hair black, but it was nothing compared to these girls, and I didn’t feel so confident anymore. I probably looked very boring in comparison. I felt the heat coming from all the bodies but didn’t move to take my hoodie off just yet. I needed it around me at the moment, to make me feel hidden and just part of the crowd.

I finished my whiskey and thought about lining up for another one when I saw him by the bar, a girl hanging from his neck. He was watching the band and moving his head in time, standing on a long bench seat against the wall for a better view. He looked so…hot, and I instinctively licked my lips, tasting the whiskey on them.

I watched the girl put her hands up in the air to sing along and then lean over and start to lick his neck. His eyes didn’t move from the band, like letting a girl lick him was just part of his night. I suddenly hated her. She was getting to do something that I wanted to do, without a care and without him pushing her away. I was so deluded coming here tonight.

I should go. I should leave before he sees me here, and I lose all self-respect for myself. I turned, but it was too late, as his eyes connected with mine, narrowing first in disbelief and then in anger.

The band finished a song and there was a roar from the crowd. His girl stopped her licking and cheered for them with her hands up in the air. Her short top rose with her arms, and I saw the tattoo covering her body and swallowed. Totally deluded.

Another song started and the crowd screamed their approval, but his intense gaze didn’t move from me. I stared back at him, lifting my chin in defiance. I had nothing to lose now, all self-respect had disappeared when I had come here tonight, following him around like a fool. Someone pushed past me and I lost contact for a moment. When I looked over to him again, he was looking down at his phone.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out.

Zac: You shouldn’t be here.

I typed a response: You’re forbidding me to see bands now, too?

Zac: How many warnings do you need from me?

Ava: None. I’m not here for you. I’m just doing what I want to do.

Zac: Are you having a rebellious five minutes?

I took a deep breath.

Ava: Think what you like.

Zac: I think and do what I like. See the girl next to me? We fucked an hour ago. Go home.

I gasped as I read his text, feeling my stomach drop. I didn’t want to think of them together with her perfect tattooed body. I wanted it to be a joke, but I knew it wasn’t. I gathered the only strength I had left in me and didn’t look up at him. I knew he was waiting for me to get upset. He was an asshole and had crushed me with a single sentence. I had been warned. Again.

I turned away on shaky legs, needing to get out of there before I collapsed and cried my heart out. He wasn’t holding back this time, showing me just how much he didn’t want me around him.

I tried to blink the tears away, knowing I was playing high school games, and that he had known it all along. I didn’t belong here. I was a silly good girl who was being rebellious for five minutes. I sipped the rest of my whiskey as I slipped my phone back in my jeans pocket. I didn’t care if he sent me another message. The whiskey didn’t help my trembling lips or the sickness in my stomach.

Two guys started to fight near me, both holding each other’s necks and angrily shouting at each other. The stronger one pushed the other one back forcefully and let go. His body came at me, and before I knew it, he had thumped into me. I lost my balance and fell back onto the floor. My whiskey glass got tossed up in the air, as they continued to struggle above me. My arms went up to protect myself as a security guard came barging over to stop the fight.

It was the same time that the music went crazier and the crowd went wild. I was about to be crushed before two hands roughly pulled me up and out of the way. Trying to find my breath, I turned to see Zac holding me. He looked down at me with intense eyes.

“Okay?” he shouted into my face.

I nodded numbly as the band performed a crowd favorite and everyone roared in appreciation. Bodies jumped and pushed and shoved, as the floor vibrated with the mayhem. One guy was shoved over to me and Zac pulled me out of the way, moving his body to deflect the impact on me.

I watched bodies surf over the crowd before they were dumped back into the crowd. It was a frenzied, wild, mad house, and I realized I suddenly felt a little scared. Even girls were now body surfing across the crowd, and the guys cheered them on as they went for grabs on their bodies.

“You shouldn’t have come here by yourself,” he said into my ear.

“I’ll be fine,” I shouted in false confidence. “Go back to your girl.”

He glared down at me as I pulled his arms away from me, even though I craved his touch and to have his hands on me. I turned away and started to make my way into the craziness, secretly praying I didn’t get seriously hurt.

His arm went around my waist and he pulled me back.

“Stop playing where you don’t belong,” he shouted in frustration.

He may as well have slapped me. I suddenly shoved him back hard and turned, pushing my way further into the wild crowd. Asshole!

I could belong, I just needed to prove it. I shoved myself between two guys and tried to move forward, but my feet were stuck in one place, while my body moved in another direction. Before I could do anything else, two arms went around me like a protective barrier and pushed me forward.

“Put your elbows up,” shouted Zac into my ear as we started to make our way through the heaving mass of bodies.

I did what I was told as he stopped a few boots from hitting me from flying crowd surfers above me. He continued to shove his way through, heading across the room to where he had been standing before. His hands went around my waist and then he lifted me up onto the bench. I stood above him next to other people and could clearly see the band. I realized I was safe up here as he looked at me one more time before going even deeper into the crowd. I instantly lost sight of him and tried to remember to breathe again.

The song finished with a roar and then as another song started, it turned to mayhem and bodies were flying everywhere. The girl next to me screamed and threw herself into the crowd. She was carried across the crowd, hands groping her all over as she rocked out to the music.

I watched the drummer hit the drums as hard as he possibly could. His feet were moving like a fast machine on the kick drums, while the singer growled into the microphone. His voice sounded like gravel, and his words dredged up from his feet as he screamed. Sweat poured off him as he leaned over the crowd, spurring them on. He was hard core and very hot, and I couldn’t hide my appreciation.

I started to enjoy myself, enjoying the madness while I was safe up on the bench seat. I was soon knocked sideways as a sweaty shirtless guy climbed up and put his arms up in the air. I grabbed onto the wall and Noah appeared out of nowhere, pulling the guy down into the crowd and away from me. The guy gave me the devil sign as he laughed, and the crowd carried him towards the stage.

Noah stayed next to me and moved his head in time, mouthing the words. I felt the power of the band, the music thumping through me, and I smiled to myself. Strobe lights flickered in time with the fast drums and everyone put their fists in the air. Maybe I was a good girl, but this was fun, and I wanted more.

Chapter Five: Driving Me to the Point Of Madness

Zac

The band finished the set and were soon heading off stage as the overhead lights lit up the venue. I stood near the stage with friends, listening to their conversation as I watched Ava across the room with Noah. They were talking about something and she was smiling up at him like he was the fucking sweetest thing on earth. I ran my hands through my sweaty hair and watched Will head over to them. I had no doubt in my mind that Will had given her a ticket for tonight and I was going to have words.

The more I tried to stay away, the more I saw her, testing my self-control. I wanted her and standing up there in my hoodie did crazy things to me that I didn’t care to comprehend.

“We going to another club?” whispered Anna into my ear. “Or somewhere a little more private?”

I looked down at her hands on my chest, feeling them over my abdomen and then travelling under my T-shirt to my sweaty skin.

“Change of plans,” I muttered, no longer interested now that my perfection was here.

I glanced over to see her watching us, biting her lip. I wanted to stride over there and take that bottom lip into my mouth.

“Whatever,” said Anna taking her hands out of my top. “Call me.”

I nodded, having no intention of doing that and went back to listening to my mates talk about the band.

Will motioned for Ava to get onto his back, and she laughed as he carried her through the crowd over to the bar. Security was clearing everyone out except for us, because we knew the owner. Will ordered drinks and Ava slid down his back to stand next to him. She still had a smile on her face. Why did Noah and Will like her so fucking much? Were they trying to make me lose my shit?

Four shots were set in front of them, and she pulled my hoodie off, revealing a tight top that was ripped down to her cleavage. I hadn’t missed the sight of her skin under the top as it had risen up, and I had to swallow down a longing to go over and touch her.

I watched Will rub his hands together with glee, and then counted before they both sunk the shots down, one after another. She grimaced and then laughed, high-fiving him as he turned to order more.

It didn’t take long for me to join them, coming up behind her and putting my arms on either side of her on the bar. She leaned back slightly into me, her warm body sending out alarm signals to me. I heard her giggle softly and knew the shots were working to make her fluid and more relaxed.

I looked down at her neck, wanting to lick it, bite it, and taste her. I knew I was kidding myself. How the fuck could I stay away from perfection? She turned slightly in my arms, and I could see her lick the shot flavor off her lips and my needs went into overdrive.

Fuck.

I needed her to hate me, before I lost myself completely to her.

“Aren’t your five minutes up?” I asked into her ear.

“No,” she said defiantly, probably hurt from the reminder of my comments earlier.

Good. It was the only way I could distance myself from her. Her body moved away slightly, and I missed it instantly. I liked her ass against me.

She did another two shots with Will and then turned around, facing me as Will started to talk to a friend on his other side. My gaze made its way from her mouth down to her neck, and then her chest, where her top gaped open, giving me a glimpse of a black bra. I wanted in. I wanted a taste like never before.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket, reading something on the screen and then frowned.

Ava

It was a message from Antony.

Antony: Hey…just thought I would see how you’re doing. Hope you’re not in bed already.

Puzzled as to why he was sending this to me, I read it again. Maybe he had sent it by mistake? I would put my name on my reply just to check.

I responded: Hey, I’m good. You? Ava xx

Antony: Been thinking about you…

I looked at the screen in shock. He wasn’t, was he? No way! Surely not after Sophie. Was he going to try it with me?

Antony: Can I call you now?

I noticed Zac watching me intently, maybe curious as to who I was texting. If I told him Antony had been thinking of me, would he care?

I replied: I’m at a club

Antony: Send me a selfie

Was he for real? I laughed to myself, not believing he was doing this.

Ava: Send me one of you first

I received a photo of him with his bare chest standing in his bathroom, looking in the mirror. I laughed. He had to be kidding me, right?

Obviously fed up with standing there wondering, Zac took my phone from my hand and started to read the conversation. A muscle in his jaw began twitching.

“I can’t believe he would even try with me after being with Sophie,” I said, shaking my head.

“Smile,” he said holding the phone up to my face.

He took a photo and typed a text with it.

Ava: What exactly have you been thinking about?

I tried to grab it off him.

“Don’t send it!”

But it was too late as Zac moved it out of my grasp.

Antony replied: You. How you looked last night. Love the photo. You’re so hot. Maybe we could hang out?

Zac shook his head and typed another text back.

Ava: Send me another photo ;) and I will send an extra special one to you…maybe I’ll come over tonight

Antony: I’d like that. I didn’t know you were like this…

Ava: There is a lot you don’t know about me

“Will you stop?” I said, leaning in and reading the texts. “He’s going to think I’m gagging for it. I’ve got to see him at school tomorrow.”

Zac waited for a reply text and sipped his beer, not giving the phone to me. Will had moved off, laughing with someone else, which left the two of us alone. I looked to Zac, trying to gauge his mood. He looked mighty pissed.

“I spoke to him last night outside Noah’s party,” I said gruffly. “For like a minute, not that it matters to you.”

He was silent as he sipped his beer again, not looking at me. He didn’t get to be mad at me, because of Antony texting me. So I tried to grab my phone off him, and he kept it out of my reach. I angrily shoved him, but he didn’t move an inch.

“Give it to me.”

He had the audacity to smirk and reply, “With pleasure,” meaning something else entirely as he pushed me against the bar.

I blushed. My hands were still on his chest and anger drained away, quickly replaced with lust. My whole body soaked up his husky response and his lust-filled eyes. I wanted to tremble. My fingers twitched, wanting to move and feel his chest as I looked down between us.

“Why are you doing this?” I whispered.

“I told you to stay away from that douche,” he growled.

I watched my hands stroke down his chest over his rippled abdomen, enjoying the contours. I suddenly wanted him as much as my next breath. I focused on my fingers and then like coming out of a daze, whipped them away. I looked up at him.

“That’s your answer to everything: stay away.”

“And you’re still not fucking listening,” he uttered.

His lips were an inch away from mine. My heart raced, loving that he was up against me, and looking at me like he wanted to eat me.

My phone beeped and broke the moment as he opened the text message between us. A photo of Antony in a full-length mirror in his boxers appeared.

Zac swore and I couldn’t help but gasp in utter disbelief. Antony was completely serious.

Zac typed another text back to him.

Ava: I’m going to send one of me now. So get ready. I think I will definitely come over tonight.

Antony: Come now, I’m ready.

Zac seethed as he set my phone to take another photo. He leaned in against me suddenly, one arm around my neck and the other holding the phone out to take a photo of us together.

“What are you doing?” I asked, as he leaned in so closely that I could smell the beer on his breath.

“Showing him what he can’t have,” he said huskily. “Now smile.”

I smiled as he took the photo. I was secretly enjoying being close to him and the feel of his cheek against mine.

I looked at the photo and saw that it had Zac’s middle finger front and center, while we were entwined.

He typed with the photo: You’re fucked. Speak to her again like this and you will regret it, fucker. I’ll come over and show you just how much she’s not yours.

He pressed Send and then passed my phone back to me as he grabbed his beer bottle from the bar and took another sip.

“I have to see him tomorrow at school,” I muttered as I looked over the photo and his text again.

“Let me know if he says anything more,” he brooded.

I looked down at the phone, trying to figure out what point he was trying to prove. I re-read the text yet again. So I wasn’t Antony’s, but was I his? I was confused and my head hurt. I just knew he would end up making me crazy if we kept this up.

He moved away and began talking to a friend who was leaving. I stood there, not knowing what to do next. He was a walking contradiction. One minute he didn’t want me anywhere near him, and then the next minute he was warning off guys like Antony. I looked around the club to see the majority of people had now left and our group was the only one there.

“Another shot before we head off?” asked Will, coming back over to me and motioning to the bartender.

I shook my head.

“Better not. I’m going to head home in a minute anyway.”

“You need a lift home with us?” asked Noah, flicking his lighter on and off, as he appeared against the bar next to me.

“I’ll be fine, but thanks,” I said with a appreciative smile.

I looked over at Zac and saw that he was still talking to his friend, but now the girl who he had been with earlier stood next to him. I sucked in a deep breath of air. Where had she come from? Why was I still here? I definitely wasn’t going to hang around while he was with her. I headed over to the toilets, putting my hoodie back on. It was time for me to get ready to go.

As I washed my hands and fiddled with my hair in the mirror, my phone vibrated and I hoped it wasn’t Antony. It was Zac.

Zac: Get a lift home with us

Ava: No. I’m not going home

Zac: Where are you going?

I grinned with wickedness as I texted him: Antony’s

There wasn’t a reply, and I smiled to myself in the mirror as I slid my phone back into my pocket. I took a deep breath and then left the bathroom, coming face to face with him at the door.

I stopped and the heavy door closed behind me, hitting me in the back and making me fall slightly into him.

“Get a lift with me,” he softly demanded.

“No,” I said, trying to look away, but our bodies were pressed up against each other, which made it impossible. “I’m not going to Antony’s. It was a joke.”

“Why not get a lift then?” he asked, not caring in the slightest that we were outside the toilets.

At least it was in a separate hallway and the others couldn’t see us from here.

I rolled my eyes, and whispered, “You didn’t even want me here to begin with, and now you’re expecting me to go home with you?”

“I’m not expecting anything. It was an offer to give you a lift. Take it or leave it,” he returned with a scowl, stepping back clear from me.

“Well, maybe I don’t like squeezing into an already full car.”

“The last time I checked, Noah’s car fit four quite comfortably.”

I sighed in exasperation and folded my arms, trying to decide what to do. The girl was obviously no longer with him and she wasn’t going home with him.

“So, do you always send threatening texts on behalf of girls that you don’t want to be around?” I blurted.

He snapped back, “No, I usually don’t care enough.”

“So you care for me, then?”

He lowered his eyes, and quietly admitted, “For some reason, yes.”

“For some reason? Thanks a lot,” I said, hurt, while I crossed my arms in total disgust at his remark.

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, and the motion pulled his T-shirt up slightly. I caught a glimpse of a very toned stomach.

“For a lot of reasons,” he muttered, like he didn’t want to admit it.

I stayed quiet, not knowing where to go from here.

“Jesus, Ava,” he said frustrated. “You drive me to the point of madness.”

“The feeling is mutual,” I whispered back. “Especially when you tell me to stay away.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to him.

“You still need to stay away. You’ll only end up hurt.”

I let out a frustrated sigh and demanded, “So, where’s your girl?”

“Don’t know. Does it matter?”

“So, you just got what you wanted from her and that’s it? You’ll never see her again?”

“That’s the general idea,” he returned.

I looked down at his hand holding mine.

“And is there a part of you that wants to do that with me?”

He huffed and spun me around so I was up against the wall.

He leaned into me, and with gritted teeth, said, “You have no idea.”

I took in a short breath.

“So, why don’t you do it, then?”

His eyes burned with desire as he looked at me. I was sure he had to swallow hard.

“Because you’re innocent. You deserve more, and I’m not offering anything more. I only take, when I want it. I don’t do commitment, Ava. I’d never be your boyfriend. I’d just use you for my own pleasure.”

“And if I let you?”

He shook his head, and said softly, “You don’t know what you’re saying. You’ll get hurt, Ava. You need to be the good girl you are and save your energy for someone worthy.”

“Maybe I want to be a bad girl for a while.”

“Bad girls are bad for a reason,” he said, frowning. “You have no reason.”

“How would you know? Every time I get close, you push me away. You know nothing about me!”

“I know enough,” he said. “I’m wrong for you, Ava. I fuck when I want. I smoke. Drink. Do drugs. I’m the worst type of guy for you.”

“Maybe I don’t care about any of that. Maybe I want to use you and get my rebellion out now while I can.”

My words floated between us in the silence.

His hand moved up to my cheek and gently cupped it. His sincere and genuine caring eyes roamed over my face, like he was trying to memorize it or come to a decision.

His thumb brushed my cheek and grazed my lips as my heart stopped. I looked into his compelling eyes, and then he was leaning down and kissing my lips.

I instantly melted into him. His left arm pulled me into his hug, our bodies pulsating with heat as he pulled me closer. His right hand continued to caress my cheek. My hands moved their way up his chest and I loved touching him. My fingers twisted in his T-shirt as his kiss deepened.

He slanted his mouth for better access and I felt his tongue meet mine. His hand moved from my cheek and caressed the back of my neck as he pulled me in even closer. I slid my hands up to his neck, feeling his powerful kiss from my lips to my toes.

This is what I had been waiting for my whole life. I had yearned for a kiss that would render me boneless, ruining me for future kisses. He hungrily kissed me and his other hand stroked my back and then cupped my bottom.

Sensations of pleasure shot through me, and I forgot where I was. His tongue clashed against mine as his hands moved back up and caressed the skin between my hoodie and jeans.

I felt a vibration between us and then I heard music. Breaking the splendor of the moment, I felt him pause. His lips moved from mine and he swore under his breath.

I looked at him and saw all the anger mixed with lust in his eyes. As his phone kept ringing between us, the anger won.

He pulled back and growled, “I have to take this”

He turned from me and answered his phone, as I leaned against the wall in a daze. He gave short, one-word answers. Then he swore again as he ended the call.

He turned back around and cupped my cheek again, saying, “I have to go.”

“Oh,” I said, unable to hide my disappointment.

Who had called him? Why did he have to go right now? Was it a girl?

He kissed me again, only going for one light kiss until our tongues were meeting again. He pulled back like he was trying to control himself and gave me a brief, but amazing smile.

I watched him with dazed eyes before his smile disappeared and was replaced with his guarded watchfulness.

“Go home with Noah,” he demanded softly.

I swallowed and nodded.

“Promise me,” he demanded again.

“Promise,” I whispered.

And then he was gone.

Zac

I looked at a crying Janey in the seat beside me, and I let out a highly frustrated sigh. The taxi driver kept driving and was headed to our home address. His loud music drowned out any noise coming from us.

“Tonight of all nights,” I muttered darkly.

“I’m sorry, Zac,” she cried. “I just didn’t mean for it to go that far.”

“You never do,” he said, looking out the window.

“Well, excuse me, Mr. Fucking Perfect,” she spat, her mascara running down her cheeks.

I was nowhere near perfect, but tonight, I had discovered perfection, and it scared the living shit out of me.

Ava

I yawned during class the next day and tried to focus. Sophie kept looking at me, puzzled as to why I couldn’t wipe a satisfied smile off my face. He had kissed me and had utterly rocked my world. It had been amazing, and it was everything that I had ever imagined and more.

Noah had driven me home by himself, because Will had gone somewhere with Zac. Noah wouldn’t elaborate on where they had gone, but I was so high on lust and happy thoughts that at the time, I didn’t care.

He thought I was beautiful. It was something I was still coming to terms with, because I didn’t feel beautiful. I did for a moment as he looked at me last night, and I wanted to feel that again. I wanted to see that look in his eyes again, like he wanted to devour me.

As the teacher spoke at the front of the class, I glanced over to Antony who had been doing his best to avoid eye contact with me all day. It was surreal that he had sent those messages to me in the first place, because he had never shown any interest before.

I looked down at my phone in my lap and flicked to the photo that Zac had sent to him of us last night. He was gorgeous, and I was completely smitten.

* * *

On Tuesday morning, I was running late and was one of the last ones left in the locker hall as classes had already started. I quickly got my things ready and slammed the locker closed. That’s when I saw Antony leaning on the locker beside me.

“Oh, hi,” I said, holding my notebook tightly against my chest.

“You think Sunday was funny?” he asked quietly.

I shook my head.

“It’s forgotten, Antony.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” he returned. “And you better watch yourself. I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with.”

“Just forget about it,” I said, stepping past him.

He grabbed my arm and pushed me against the lockers. I became rigid with shock.

“Don’t mess with me, Ava,” he warned, leaning close into my face.

Another student ran in and he let go, walking away casually to class like nothing had happened.

I rubbed my arm and tried to catch my breath as I tried to comprehend what had just happened. Total shock made me go to class and not say a word to anyone, least of all, Sophie.

I didn’t hear from Zac. Everything that had looked so bright on Monday was now dull. I caught Antony watching me throughout the week, and he would always give me a smug smile when my gaze met his eyes. He started to get closer to Sophie again, which made him closer to me, and I hated it.

He started sitting with us at lunchtime, silently daring me to say something. I don’t know why he was continuing to toy with me, because I had made it clear it was all forgotten. Sophie lapped the attention up, clearly forgetting how he had used her.

I went back to studying and working through assignments at the library during lunch hours. I tried not to think of Zac, but I just couldn’t stop. I wanted to hear from him. I needed to see him. What were the rules after kissing someone? If I texted him, did I look desperate or clingy? What if the kiss wasn’t that special to him? Had he even thought of me?

I wanted to tell him I was being threatened by Antony, but didn’t want to sound “high school” with my problems. Would he even believe me? Apart from being pushed against the locker, he had done nothing physically. How did I tell someone that Antony was silently bullying me? Maybe I was overreacting, but I knew that every time he looked at me, I cringed and felt uncomfortable.

The week passed by slowly and painfully.

I contemplated the idea of Zac deliberately keeping his distance. Maybe this was his way of showing me that he refused to do any sort of commitment. I wanted to send him a friendly text, especially since he had given me the most amazing kiss I had ever had. Then I reminded myself that he was probably continuing on with life and spending his time with other girls, as always. I forced myself not to contact him, even though I thought about it every passing second.

Zac

“Are you going to cheer the fuck up at some stage?” asked Will with his beer bottle to his lips.

I scowled and leaned against the bar, saying quietly, “I’m fine.”

“It’s quite simple,” Noah said. “Take her out and have some fun.”

I shook my head and sipped my own beer, turning away to look at the band playing. I wasn’t in the mood to even discuss it.

She had settled under my skin, and I never allowed that to happen. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I wanted her, her lips, her sensual mouth and delectable body. There was something about her that spoke to me on a different level than the other girls, and that’s what made her dangerous. There was nothing more that I wanted right now than her, but I had to stay away, for my own sanity. She went against every rule I had set up in my life. She had the power to make me feel, and I couldn’t let that change.

I looked around the club, eyeing up the talent around us. It was time to clear Ava from my mind. I would replace her with another girl for tonight that I could use for my own pleasure and not have to care about.

Chapter Six: No One Is Going To Hear You

Ava

Sophie begged me to go to Tyler’s birthday party on Saturday night, which was being held at his house with a large marquee in the backyard. I couldn’t tell her why I didn’t want to go, but she was so looking forward to reconnecting with Antony that I had to give in to her.

I tried to warn her against him, but she wouldn’t listen to me, completely smitten by his attention throughout the week.

It wasn’t long before drinks were being mixed, the music was turned up loud, and everyone started to let loose. Sophie and I drank cocktails and then started on the shots, happily joining in with the celebrations. I had kept an eye on Antony throughout the night, and he seemed to be keeping his distance from me.

“Happy Birthday,” I said to Tyler as he came up beside me.

“Thanks,” he grinned as he tapped his cheek. “Where’s my present?”

I smiled and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.

“That’s better,” he said, leaning closer to me. “I’m liking the hair by the way.”

“Thanks,” I said, feeling his closeness but wanting to move away.

I could smell his aftershave as he leaned in further, but it wasn’t the aftershave I wanted to smell.

He chuckled.

“It makes you look even more gorgeous.”

I shook my head and laughed him off, not even wanting to go any further with that comment.

“You still hanging around the fighter boys?” he asked next.

“Fighter boys?” I asked, knowing he meant Noah and Zac.

“Surely they told you about the underground fighting ring they used to be part of?” he scorned. “Noah and his friend were undefeated for years. I don’t think they do it anymore though.”

“Shots time again!” interrupted Sophie as she approached with a tequila bottle.

She looked between Tyler and me knowingly and was then lining up shots. Tyler put a piece of lemon between my lips, sprinkled some salt on my arm with a grin and then licked it off slowly before he drank his tequila. He finished it off by sucking on the lemon from my mouth and I laughed and pulled away. The lemon dropped to the floor, but I felt nothing for him but friendship.

It was after another four shots that I checked my phone and Facebook. I paused when I saw a photo of me from ten minutes ago, laughing, as Tyler did shots with me.

Antony had posted two photos, showing me laughing and looking very intimate with Tyler. I stared in disbelief.

I had been tagged on both of them and one of them said:

What a nice couple…

I felt sick. I was sure he was trying to hurt me, hoping Zac would see them and get angry. I looked to the group outside to see him laughing with Nathan, and I felt like storming over and hitting him.

“Just ignore him,” chuckled Tyler beside me. “It’s his way of getting a laugh.”

School friends started to click on “Like” as they saw the photo, and I rolled my eyes. I knew he wasn’t doing it for a laugh. As I looked back at my so-called friends, I realized that I had started to play a game where I didn’t know the rules.

I slipped my phone in my pocket and headed upstairs to use the bathroom. I needed to go home. I was annoyed with myself that I had let Sophie talk me into coming here tonight.

I finished and opened the bathroom door only to see Antony standing there blocking the doorway. I panicked and tried to close the door, but he shoved his foot in the way.

“Now is not the time to play hard to get,” he said, pushing his way in and closing the door behind him.

“Get out,” I said to him, as fear travelled up my spine.

He was drunk and wanted revenge. I frantically tried to figure out how I could escape. I touched my phone in my pocket, but I didn’t know who I could call to help me in time. Sophie wouldn’t hear her phone, and who knew where Zac was tonight. My father was on another weekend away, and I knew I was alone.

“You fucking led me on,” he said, angrily coming towards me.

“I didn’t mean to,” I said calmly.

“Do you still have the photo?” he asked furiously.

“No, I deleted it,” I lied, stepping back from him.

“Your boyfriend better watch himself.”

I bumped against the basin, having nowhere else to go as he loomed towards me.

“You shouldn’t mess with him,” I said quietly.

“Oh, I will,” he said with angry eyes. “And you shouldn’t be a cock tease. It doesn’t suit you.”

“I’m not a cock tease!”

He grabbed me and shoved me against the basin, and the back of my head hit the mirror.

“I didn’t even want you, anyway. I just felt sorry for you, and thought I’d give you a pity fuck,” he whispered furiously into my face.

I tried to push him off, but he was unmoving like a rock and panic made me rigid. I was in serious trouble here, and no one would hear me scream with the loud party downstairs.

“Let me go!” I wailed as loud as I could.

I tried shoving him away from me, but he didn’t budge.

He chuckled in my face, and said, “Not until you give me what you promised.”

“Antony, please, stop,” I cried.

He pushed my head back against the mirror and covered my mouth with his hand.

“Shhh,” he said, as his other hand ran down the front of my top and then down to my jeans.

I tried to hit him and kick at him, but it was like he didn’t feel anything.

“I’m going to tell everyone you begged me for it,” he said, undoing my jeans.

I tried to push him off, and I screamed into his hot, sweaty hand against my mouth. His hand went up my T-shirt and he groped me hard. I cried out and tried to move his hand, but the more I pulled at him, the harder he grabbed.

“Stop fighting me,” he yelled, while putting his hand around my neck and squeezing. “You know you want it.”

“Stop it,” I choked out as I tried to lift my knee at him.

I missed and he got angrier as he realized what I had tried to do. He shoved me around so that my back was turned to him and he held my wrists painfully above my head on the mirror. His elbow kept my face pressed against it. He loosened my jeans and went to pull them down. I screamed as loud as I could. I pushed back against him and tried to kick out.

“No one is going to hear you,” he whispered into my ear with a sick laugh. “I’m going to see if you’re as good as you look.”

I burst into tears, seeing part of his face in the mirror. He was determined and almost had my jeans down.

I suddenly realized it was going to happen. There was nothing I could do. He was just too strong. My wrists throbbed from the pressure of his hand and his elbow was squeezing my face hard into the mirror.

“Please, don’t,” I cried.

There was a knock on the door.

“Ava? Are you in there?” asked Tyler.

Antony paused for a moment, and I used that opportunity to push away and turn around. My knee came up and hit him between the legs. He gasped and bent over in pain.

“Ava?” Tyler called out louder.

I ran to the door and unlocked it, opening it to Tyler who took one look at me and then at Antony. I tried to form words, but I couldn’t even find air for my lungs.

“Sorry, bud, she wanted me, and I had to have her,” said Antony, straightening up.

Tyler looked at me in disbelief before disappointment clouded his eyes.

I tried to breathe as I pulled my jeans up.

“He just tried to—“

“Careful, Ava, you wouldn’t want to hurt Tyler any more than you already have,” Antony said, coming over to the door.

I shoved past Tyler and came face to face with Sophie. She looked at my ripped T-shirt and jeans that were undone, my disheveled hair, and then she glared at Antony who had a satisfied smile on his face.

“You bitch!” she gasped.

I clenched my teeth, seeing more people on the stairs coming up. Others in the rooms were coming to see what was going on, while others just stood around watching and listening.

Breathing heavy with hurt and confusion, I looked at their shocked faces, and knew I looked like the bad one. No one would believe me.

I turned back to Sophie and saw her looking at me with hatred. Knowing there was nothing I could say or do, I turned away from them all and headed back downstairs. I passed friends who were giggling and whispering, and I tried to ignore it as I quickly headed to the front door.

I got outside and quickly did up my jeans as I hurried onto the pavement. I started to run—away from the party and away from that asshole, Antony. My silent sobs turned to tears. I felt so alone. I wasn’t equipped to play all these different games and now I had ended up getting hurt. I had nearly been raped.

I stopped running and caught my breath as I looked at the throbbing red marks on my wrists. He was a horrible asshole, and I couldn’t believe Tyler and Sophie would believe him so easily.

A car drove past and someone called out from the window. I walked faster, wiping my cheeks. I had to get home, but if I was going to walk, it would take a long while. I thought about calling a taxi. I knew the house at home was empty, so I couldn’t call my father, and it was too late for public transport.

I looked around the darkened suburban street thinking about Antony. I hadn’t realized just how strong a guy could be when he wanted to be. I started to panic again as I crossed the street to the other side.

Part of me wanted to call Zac, but I wondered if he was with someone else right now. The thought hurt. I shivered from the cool night air and decided not to call anyone.

Zac

The three of us got out of the car and headed up Noah’s stairs. I looked at the photos of Ava and Tyler doing shots on Facebook.

“She looks to be having fun,” said Noah, as he looked at his own phone.

Will opened the door and they went inside, while I stayed out for a moment.

I knew I had no right to feel angry over the photos, but I was. I didn’t like anyone touching Ava, and the thought of pretty boy touching her made me mad. I sat down on the step, and before I could change my mind, I dialed her number. Some sick part of me hoped I would be disturbing her with Tyler.

She didn’t answer, and it eventually went to voicemail. I ended the call without leaving a message. I went to my tracking app to find her. She was currently on the move, slowly, like she was walking. The locator showed that she was only a few streets from here. My eyes narrowed as I pressed the button to call her again.

She didn’t answer.

I called a third time.

She answered with, “Leave me alone, Zac.”

I heard the emotion in her voice and felt myself go on instant alert.

“What’s wrong?”

She didn’t answer.

“Ava, what’s happened? Why are you walking home?” I asked.

She didn’t answer, but this time I heard a sob.

“Tell me what the fuck is going on, Ava, or I’ll come and find you myself,” I said, standing up.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she whispered. “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

“Are you by yourself?”

“All alone,” she said letting out a soft sob.

“Are you drunk? You shouldn’t be out this late by yourself. Why are you crying?” I asked as I headed back over to my car and unlocked it. “Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

“No,” she said. “I can’t see you right now.”

I stopped at the car and demanded, “Why the hell not?”

“Because I’ll fall apart,” she sobbed, ending the call.

I swore, got into my car, and skidded as I quickly reversed out of the driveway.

Ava

I kept walking, knowing Zac would have no idea where I was right now. I knew if I saw him, I would fall apart. I just wanted to get home and cry my eyes out.

My phone beeped into the silent night. My stomach dropped as I saw Antony’s name on the screen. I swallowed and opened the text message.

Antony: Say any lies about me and this will get sent around. I called it: “Ava - the pity fuck.”

“No,” I groaned softly, opening the message and playing the video.

He was on a bed with a girl, her face hidden as she moaned. They were clearly having sex.

I sobbed in despair as tears continued to run down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away, feeling sick. I heard the girl’s moans again and wanted to scream.

I didn’t think it was possible, but the night had just turned a million times worse. I stopped the video, closed the message, and started walking faster. I had to get home before I collapsed. He would ruin me if he sent that out. Her face was hidden and anyone would believe it was me. My knees nearly gave out as I walked and sobbed.

A car pulled up beside me with its loud engine. Before I knew it, Zac was in front of me. He took one look at me.

“What the fuck happened?” he asked in bewilderment.

He saw my ripped T-shirt and anger fuelled his next question.

“Did someone fucking hurt you?”

I felt more tears running down my cheeks and shook my head. I didn’t know where to begin, but I knew I couldn’t tell him.

“I will kill them, Ava. Tell me what happened,” he snarled, coming closer and touching my cheek.

“Don’t touch me,” I whispered, stepping back from him.

I folded my arms across my chest and tried to hide my sore wrists. I swallowed the lump of emotion stuck in my throat.

“I just need to go home,” I said with a shiver.

His eyes narrowed as if he was deciding what to do next. I made the decision for him and headed over to his car that was still running. I numbly climbed in, shivering from the night air and the upset. I closed my door and then shut my eyes tight, trying to hold myself together.

I heard him come back into the car, but I kept my eyes shut and stayed silent as he drove me home. I could feel his anger beside me, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I just needed to try and go to sleep and think about it in the morning. I felt utterly betrayed as the hurt and pain seeped through me.

The car slowed down and I opened my eyes to see we were pulling into Noah’s driveway. I was about to angrily tell him that I wanted to go home, but then knew my place was empty. It was the last place I wanted to be.

“What’s going on, Ava?” he growled quietly beside me as he parked and turned the engine off.

I shook my head and then burst into fresh tears. He swore and got out of the car, opening my door for me. I climbed out by myself. I followed him up the steps in silence and walked through the door. The unit was in disarray as I walked in, with beer bottles everywhere and the place thick with cigarette smoke.

“Beautiful Ava,” greeted Will from the couch and then paused as his eyes zeroed in on me.

Noah turned and looked at me in surprise.

“What the fuck?”

Zac glared at them both and then led me over to the kitchen. I watched him get me a glass of water and then turned to see Will and Noah still staring at me. Hurt lodged in my throat, and it made me want to choke.

I took the glass from Zac, and then he suddenly grabbed me, making me spill the water.

“Who the fuck bruised you?” he gasped staring at my wrists.

“Don’t,” I said, turning away from him and putting the glass down on the bench.

“They’re around her neck, too,” said Noah, standing up.

“What the fuck?” said Will, getting up as well.

I wanted to leave before my legs collapsed and I became a screaming sobbing mess. I quickly moved away from three sets of piercing angry eyes and I ran to the door. Two arms grabbed me from behind and stopped me from reaching it. I tried to fight him off, struggling against him.

“Calm down, Ava,” said Zac soothingly into my ear. “Stop.”

I gave up the struggle. Then I went limp in his arms and cried my heart out.

Zac

I held on to her tightly as her head dropped and she gave up her struggle. She would have dropped to the floor if I hadn’t been holding on to her. I carefully turned her in my arms, just trying to calm her down. She hid her face into my chest and sobbed, big body racking sobs. I didn’t know what the fuck to do.

“Jesus,” I breathed, holding her tightly against me.

To see her like this sent chills through me. I didn’t know whether to soothe her first or punch somebody.

I picked her up in my arms and carried her over to the couch. I sat down with her on my lap as she sobbed into my shoulder. Noah and Will looked worried as shit and sat down, too. We waited for her to calm down, so we could go and kick someone’s ass.

“Was it Tyler?” asked Noah.

“No,” she muffled into my now wet T-shirt.

“Ava,” I said as calmly as I could, smoothing her hair from her face and neck. “I need to know what happened, so I know who to kill.”

“I can’t tell you,” she said with a shuddering breath. “If anyone finds out, he’s going to send a fake sex video of me to everyone.”

I took a sharp intake of breath and exchanged glances with Noah and Will.

“I can stop that from happening. Just tell me what happened.”

She covered her face, and through her sobs, she said, “He was so strong and I couldn’t escape.”

Anger snapped inside me and I clenched my fists, trying to calm the roaring fire in me.

“Who?” I growled.

She wiped at her tears, and said softly, “Antony.”

Noah swore and Will stood up angrily from the couch. I gritted my teeth together, needing to know everything before I went and truly killed him.

“He has been so angry with me over those weekend texts, and…he…has been…bothering me at school…but I didn’t think he would go to this length.”

“Fuck,” I growled, clenching my jaw.

My worst fucking nightmare had happened to the one perfect thing in my life. I had pushed her away and now this had happened.

“He threatened me at school,” she shuddered, “and then tonight, he locked me in the bathroom upstairs, and tried to…he tried to…”

She tried to swallow and hold back the tears, but then she shook her head, determined to tell me more.

“No one could hear me scream up there, and he hurt me,” she cried, covering her face.

Will paced the living room.

“Did he actually…?”

“No, he was about to, but he was interrupted by Tyler knocking on the door,” she said sniffing. “He had my jeans down and covered my mouth. I couldn’t breathe or scream, and he was so strong. After Tyler saw me, Antony made out to him that I willingly had…sex with him.”

I felt the anger flood through my veins, and the storm of rage in my gut and my vision blurred. Familiar pain hit me in the chest, and I had to do something right now, or I would explode.

I moved Ava onto the couch beside me and then got up, starting to pace. My fists were clenched. Pain cracked behind my eyes, like it was splitting my head in two. The fury made me shake.

“We’ll take care of him,” said Will, eyeing me.

“You can’t do anything to him, because he will send the video to everyone and make out that it was me,” she pleaded.

“Where’s the video?” asked Noah.

She passed her phone to him and he played the video.

“He’s titled it, ‘Ava – the pity fuck,’” muttered Noah.

“He said his original texts to me were just out of pity,” she said quietly. “And I’m a cock tease.”

She looked over to me, where I was now standing stock still. I was trying to figure out my plan of attack. My mind raced a million miles an hour. This was all my fault. Everything that had happened was because of what I had done. Fury at myself burned my eyes, and I closed them to get a handle on myself.

Noah leaned over in concern, inspecting her neck.

“So he held you by the neck?”

She nodded.

“And then the wrists. I tried so hard to fight back, but it wasn’t until we were interrupted, and I kneed him in the balls.”

“Good,” said Noah.

“This is my fault,” I snarled. “I need to go and kill him now.”

“I’m coming,” said Will.

“Wait,” said Noah. “Think about it first.”

“I need to punch something, Noah,” I grated out. “I need it to be Antony.”

“I know,” said Noah, calmly. “But think about it. His father is a lawyer. You’ve got a record. You’ll be in jail before you know it.”

“He tried to rape Ava,” I howled. “You think I’m going to let that slide? Look at the fucking bruises on her!”

“We can plan something. Something that will ruin him and hurt him more than you bashing the shit out of him tonight,” said Noah, standing up.

“I plan to do both,” I scowled.

Her phone beeped. It then beeped again. And again.

Noah grabbed it from the coffee table.

“What does it say?” she asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said looking at me..

I knew there would be messages and hurtful comments. If I didn’t do something soon, there would be a social media shit storm.

“Show me,” she pleaded, trying to take her phone from his hand.

She started to read them and gasped at the messages from supposed friends and a lot of unknown numbers.

Slut

Whore

Bitch

And the messages continued.

There was one from her friend, Sophie: I can’t believe you would do this to me. I trusted you. He was mine. I hate you. Bitch.

I took the phone from her hand and put it in my pocket, flicking the mute button.

“He’s going to ruin my life,” she moaned.

I headed to my room.

“I’ll ruin his first,” I muttered darkly.

I grabbed my laptop and headed back over to the coffee table. I looked at the screen in steely determination. Then I looked at Ava who was watching me.

“I promise, I will fix this.”

She bit her trembling lip and gave a slight nod. I don’t think she believed me, but she didn’t know what I did for a living.

“I’ll make it all disappear.”

“How?” she whispered in despair.

“Trust me. I’ll ruin him, and then after I’ve done that, I’ll hurt him so badly, he will never breathe near you again.”

She swallowed.

“I need that photo of the fucker in his jocks,” I said starting to type.

I was getting my head right for the shit storm I was about to unleash.

“What are you going to do with that?” asked Noah.

“Set up a website with his phone number telling everyone to call him for anal,” I said

concentrating on the running scripts on the screen.

Will laughed, and said, “Love it!”

“Put him on the Sex Offender’s List,” said Noah.

“Empty the fucker’s bank accounts,” said Will.

“Immobilize the engine on his merc,” grinned Noah.

As my fingers flew over the keyboard, I glanced over and saw Ava curling up on the couch. She looked exhausted and pale. Her bruises looked worse against the paleness of her skin. I would take care of this shit, and I would take care of her. I would make it all right again.

I started with the website. Next up was hacking into Antony’s Facebook account. I deleted his photo albums, put messages all over his wall, and defaced his profile. I searched for any links to Ava. People were already talking about tonight’s party on Tyler’s party page. Some had put up photos of her. One had drawn devil horns on her. I deleted it all. Some girls had messaged Ava on her wall and were calling her names. I deleted them, too. No one would taunt her online ever again.

“She’s exhausted,” murmured Noah.

I looked at her and saw that she had fallen asleep. I stopped typing for a moment.

“He must have been pretty rough for it to bruise so quickly,” said Will, touching her bruised wrists.

“I’ll get her a blanket,” said Noah.

I stood up and gently lifted her in my arms.

“I’ll put her in my bed.”

I carried her into my room and put her down on the bed, pausing just to take her in. She stirred up every emotion I tried to suppress. There was something very comforting about seeing her asleep on my bed.

I looked at the bruises again and bristled. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to go right now, find him, and seriously hurt him. Now I would do whatever I needed to do, to make him pay.

I leaned over and pulled her shoes off. I tucked her legs in and pulled the comforter over her. I went back out to the living room to get my laptop. Will was by the front door with a knife.

“Where are you going?”

“Outside, to do a little twilight slashing to all four tires of his car.”

“Nice one,” I said. “Try and scratch it deeply on every panel while you’re at it.”

Will grinned and left the unit quietly.

I went back into my room and closed the door quietly behind me while I kicked off my shoes. I sat down next to a sleeping Ava and then leaned against the headboard, my laptop on my chest.

I blocked Antony from her Friend list. Then I hacked into her phone and deleted all the texts. I deleted everything that was still there, even though she might have thought she had deleted them. Everything was wiped clean.

The sun was just coming up as I started on the next task of hacking into Antony’s phone and then his hard drive. I was going to delete everything referencing Ava. I was determined to get rid of the video for good. Once I found the original video, I looked at it frame by frame. I zeroed in on the girl on the bed. It was her friend, Sophie. I contemplated if she had even known that he had been filming her at the time.

Interesting.

I looked through the other collections of videos that he had made. Not surprising, Antony had been a busy boy. This was just the beginning. I would eventually ruin him.

Chapter Seven: A Big Ball of Mess Inside

Ava

I awoke and took a moment to adjust to my surroundings—Zac’s room. Last night came flooding back to me and I sat up in bed looking for him. I had no idea of the time, but there was sun shining in through the window. So, I guessed I had slept through the morning. Zac’s laptop was on the bed with a program running on it with continuous code flickering on the screen. There were two Red Bull cans on the bedside table, and I considered whether he had even gone to sleep last night. I heard water running and realized he must be in the shower.

I curled back up in his bed and put his comforter over me, not wanting to leave the bed and face the day. It was the only place where I felt safe. I remembered Antony’s face last night, looming towards me with a determination that scared me. I speculated what would happen at school tomorrow, and if I’d be able to survive the gossip and hatred.

I looked at my wrist to see the redness replaced with bruising. Then I touched my sore, aching neck. I remembered the salty taste of his hand against my mouth, and it made me grimace. How dare he violate me like that? I hated him.

I thought of Sophie and our now non-existent friendship. A month ago, I never would have thought that someone like Antony could ever come between us. He blindsided her, and she automatically took his side. Unbelievable! Maybe he had done this to other girls and that’s what kept them quiet.

I put my face into the pillow and suddenly wanted my life to go back to the way it was before. I was in Zac’s bed, but for all the wrong reasons. I liked that he was helping me with this, but I couldn’t help worry that it would push him further away.

He didn’t need all my dramas. No one did. I was so alone that it hurt my chest to breathe. If Zac hadn’t found me last night, I would be at home right now, all alone.

I missed my mother, wherever the hell she was right now. I missed having a confidante like a mother should be, sharing my life and directing me in the right way. I missed her and resented her for leaving me.

The shower was turned off, and I listened for the door to open. I didn’t move, knowing I would look like hell. I wanted to take my clothes off and get rid of them. I wanted to get rid of the memory of Antony, and I needed to shower. I didn’t know how much longer I’d be welcome here, but going home was the last thing I wanted to do right now. I hated the thought of being alone there, knowing that Antony knew where I lived.

The door opened and he walked back into the bedroom, running his hand through his hair. With just a pair of shorts on, his perfectly toned chest provided me with a glimpse of his tattoos. I took the moment to look him over while he thought I was still asleep.

He had a large one that covered his entire left shoulder, another one that wrapped around his rib cage, and then a set of large wings on his shoulder blades, with the devil underneath. Oh, my god. I couldn’t stop staring at him. He was everything I had imagined and more. I watched his back muscles move under his tattooed skin as he went over to a chest of drawers and grabbed a T-shirt.

He turned around, and I was still staring at his finely chiseled abs and the perfectly formed V that disappeared into his shorts as he looked to me.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” I said, my cheeks flushing.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, shoving his arms into his T-shirt and putting it on.

I watched it slide down, covering his muscled skin and felt the disappointment of the shirt hiding such perfection.

“Okay,” I managed to say.

“You slept all night, which is good,” he said, coming over to the bed and sitting down.

He checked his laptop and then typed something.

I watched him, and then I slowly sat up in bed and pushed my hair off my face. I felt unsure of what to do or say next. He glanced over at me and his eyes narrowed on my neck.

“Are you sore?” he asked next.

“A little,” I said, moving my wrists. “It just hurts if I press on them.”

He frowned.

“Did he hurt you anywhere else?”

I shook my head and looked down at the bed, not wanting to tell him that he had groped me as well.

“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked quietly.

“I guess I didn’t know what we were…and I didn’t know if you were with someone else and that I would be…interrupting.”

His frown deepened.

“You were nearly raped, Ava. You wouldn’t have been interrupting anything.”

I swallowed hard.

“Thanks for finding me…and taking care of me. I don’t know how I would have gotten through last night by myself.”

“Where are your parents?”

“My father goes away a lot with his girlfriend,” I said quietly, not looking at him.

I braced myself for his next question about my mother. But he didn’t ask.

“So your friend, Sophie, seems pretty pissed,” he said next. “I blocked her on your profile as well as all the others who felt like they wanted to say something.”

I cringed.

“The sex video no longer exists…on any level, not even on the dickhead’s hard drive,” he said next.

I raised my eyebrows.

“You can do that?”

“I can do a lot of things,” he murmured, looking back at his laptop.

“So you weren’t joking about the anal website thing?”

“No.”

“And you’ve done all those other things?” I pressed.

He nodded.

“So you’re my knight in shining armor,” I said, with a small smile.

“I’m definitely not that,” he said

, getting up from the bed. He opened the window across the room and sat on the ledge as he lit up a cigarette.

I had obviously said the wrong thing, and I could have kicked myself.

His phone rang and he looked at the screen and then answered it. He started to talk about set times and who was supporting some band. He chuckled with them and then got up from the window ledge. He threw the cigarette out of the window.

I watched him head over to the chest of drawers again, but then he bent down and opened the bottom drawer. He pulled out a pair of girl’s shorts. Then he opened his top drawer and pulled out one of his own T-shirts. He laughed at something with his caller, and then he glanced at me and passed me the clothes. He pointed to the bathroom and then turned and left the room, still talking.

I sat there looking at the closed door. I had obviously annoyed him with my comment. So, did he want me showered and out of his bed? Maybe I should just get up right now and go home. I felt completely out of my element, and didn’t know him or what he wanted.

I looked down at my ripped T-shirt and knew I had to get out of these clothes that I would never wear again. I climbed out of the bed and went straight to the bathroom, remembering to take the clothes he had offered me. I closed the door behind me and looked at the girl’s shorts. They were my size and I mulled over the idea of them belonging to an ex-girlfriend. Maybe she had been a one-night stand and had left in a hurry, leaving her clothes behind, while wearing his clothes. The thought made me hate the shorts instantly. I put them near the basin and didn’t want to touch them until I had to.

Stepping into the shower, I let the hot water run over me, easing my soreness and tension. I took his soap and enjoyed the scent of sandalwood. It reminded me of him and his kiss all those nights ago. I wanted to do it again, but I had no idea where to go from here.

I finished the shower and dried myself with a towel, wondering if he was back in the room or still out talking with his friend. I ran my fingers through my wet tangled hair and then put his T-shirt on over my bra and underwear, leaving the shorts at the basin.

The T-shirt was well worn and had a band’s name across it. I loved the feel of it. I stepped out of the bathroom and saw him lying on the bed with one knee up. He was looking at something on his phone. Our eyes connected and I gave him a quick, unsure smile.

“Nice T-shirt,” he said with an amused look.

Then he looked over my bare legs and his gaze found its way back up to my eyes. I blushed a little and looked away. I weighed up the idea of going over to him or putting my jeans on and going home.

“I’m tired,” he said, putting his phone down and then putting his hand behind his head on the pillow.

“Did you sleep at all?” I asked pushing my hair back and stepping over to the bed.

“No, I might get a couple of hours now,” he said with a yawn.

I looked at him on the bed, longing to get back in there with him.

“I’ll go home then, leave you to it.”

He closed his eyes and murmured, “Whatever you want to do.”

I stood there, rigid with indecision. I knew what I wanted to do, but I wasn’t confident enough to do it.

“What’s wrong with the shorts?” he asked next.

I swallowed.

“Nothing. I just…”

His eyes opened, and he watched me, waiting.

I had to be honest with him.

“I just…didn’t like the idea of wearing one of your girls’ things,” I mumbled.

He grinned and closed his eyes again.

Annoyed at his desirable grin, I turned back around to the bathroom, and said, “I’ll just get my jeans back on and go home then.”

“Like I said, whatever you want,” he said calmly with his eyes still closed.

“Got it,” I snapped and walked back into the bathroom.

I picked up my jeans from the floor. I couldn’t think of anything worse than putting them back on. Then suddenly, I favored the shorts over anything that reminded me of last night.

“They’re my sister’s, by the way,” came his amused voice from the room.

I dropped the jeans back to the floor and ran my hand through my hair. He had a sister and they belonged to her. I rolled my eyes at my stupidity and then pulled the toilet lid down and sat on top of it. I covered my face with my hands, and I felt like I was going slightly mad. Between the emotional upheaval of last night’s ordeal and now being here in Zac’s room, I felt more and more like a naïve innocent.

I wanted to cry but willed the tears back. I spent the next five minutes concentrating on my breathing and trying to get my mind in order.

It wasn’t long before I took a deep breath and stood up with determination. I grabbed my T-shirt and jeans from last night and pushed them into the small wastebasket.

I stepped out of the bathroom and saw that Zac was already asleep. He was obviously worn out from helping me all night. My chest ached at the thought of all the trouble he had gone to for me.

I slowly walked over to the bed, and without another thought, I gently climbed in next to him. Truth was, I didn’t want to be alone. I couldn’t stand the thought of not being next to him.

* * *

I awoke later that afternoon to a buzzing sound. It took me a moment to figure out who I was and where I was. Seconds later, I worked out that the buzzing and familiar music was coming from Zac’s phone that was in-between us on the bed.

Zac moved and put the pillow over his head as I looked down at the screen. Janey. Jealousy stirred within me and then the buzzing finally stopped. Was she the one who had called during our kiss that made him leave that night?

I looked at the time on his phone and saw that it was 5 o’clock. We had slept for hours. I glanced back at Zac and he was still sleeping under his pillow. His tattooed arm was holding the pillow down.

My eyes wandered over the tattoo, and I looked at the intricate detail, surmising what the symbols meant. My fingers itched to pull the short sleeve of his T-shirt up to see the rest of it, but I didn’t.

I thought about getting one and what symbol I would have. But I didn’t know where I would put it. I needed to move away from home, first, because my father would definitely not appreciate a tattoo. I imagined Sarah’s face and how she would react to it. That’s when I decided that I would get one after school was finished. Why not? Life is short.

The phone started to buzz again between us, and Janey’s name came up again. Zac groaned from under his pillow as his hand moved down to feel for the phone.

His head came out from under the pillow and he answered the call.

“What?” he answered in annoyance with his eyes still half closed.

He listened to the caller in frustration.

“I don’t fucking know! Whatever! I don’t give a shit! Well, fuck off then,” he said, ending the call.

He dropped the phone back on the bed. He let out a loud sigh as his head went back down onto the pillow.

He then suddenly got off the bed and went into the bathroom. I heard the toilet seat bang against the tank before he used it. I waited for him to return, unsure if he would be annoyed that I had stayed.

The mattress moved as he climbed back over and lay down again next to me. I waited for him to say something. Anything. But he didn’t. I was fully awake now, and I glanced over and saw that he had closed his eyes.

“What time is it?” he asked.

“Just past five,” I said quietly.

“You okay?” he asked next.

“Yep,” I said.

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

“You’re throwing your clothes away,” he stated.

I realized that he didn’t miss a thing.

“I never want to be reminded about last night again.”

“Fair enough,” he said, stretching out his arm and then yawning.

I stayed on my stomach, watching him. I enjoyed the closeness, however long it lasted.

“If anything happens at school tomorrow, you need to call me,” he insisted.

“Okay,” I whispered, secretly loving his protectiveness.

“He most likely won’t even go near you now that this has all happened, but just keep your wits about you. Watch where you go.”

“Okay,” I said again.

“You need to probably think about getting some self-defense classes,” he added.

I smiled at his thoughtfulness and care.

His eyes narrowed at my smile.

“Don’t give me that look,” he murmured.

I stopped smiling.

“I’m not giving you any look,” I denied.

“You are. You’re seeing something that’s not there; wanting something that I can’t give you.”

Hurt speared my chest. He had done it again. In one flurry of words, he had pulled away from me and hurt me again. Those words hurt more than the bruises. Preservation of pride made me lift my chin.

“I’m not seeing or wanting anything from you,” I lied calmly.

I got up from the bed and went into the bathroom to grab the shorts. I put them on and strutted back into the bedroom.

Without even looking at him, I grabbed my phone from the floor near his laptop.

“Thanks again for last night,” I said, while walking toward the bedroom door.

A part of me longed for him to stop me. I wanted him to say something, but nothing came. I stepped out of the room and closed the door shut behind me.

I took a deep breath as I looked around the empty unit and noticed that the television was on, but Noah’s bedroom door closed.

I went straight to the front door, feeling like my confidence had been shattered. When I got outside, I slowly walked down the steps, just as a car was driving down the driveway. It came to a stop next to Zac’s car. I looked at the driver as she got out. She was a beautiful blonde dressed in jeans and sneakers, and her left arm was fully covered with tattoos. She looked amused as she climbed up the stairs.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” I said, feeling very inadequate as she passed me.

She was drop-dead gorgeous and left a trail of fruity scent in the air.

She stopped midway up the steps and looked me up and down.

“You must be beautiful Ava.”

I nodded and wondered who she was and how she knew me, along with the nickname that Will had created.

She grinned knowingly and purred, “Now I know what all the fuss is about.”

I smiled briefly and then continued down the stairs, not knowing what that meant. I was curious as to what her relationship was with Zac, and I couldn’t help but feel jealous of this beautiful, confident and very cool girl.

“Nice meeting you,” I said, stepping off the last step onto the driveway.

“You’re wearing my shorts,” she stated.

I stopped and turned to look back at her.

“Oh! I can bring them back. I just need to get home.”

“It’s cool, I’m only teasing. Keep them.”

Then it dawned on me.

“Wait…so your Zac’s sister?”

She gave me a nod, and said, “Janey.”

“Oh,” I said, and then everything clicked into place.

“So, why are you leaving?” she asked.

I shrugged and admitted, “I guess it was just time to go.”

“Is he being an asshole?” she asked, smiling knowingly. “I’ll go and kick his ass if you like.”

I smiled.

“That’s okay.”

“I heard about last night.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling a little weirded out that she knew so much.

“Will told me,” she added. “I must say, you’re looking pretty well put together, all things considered.”

“I’m hiding it. I’m a big ball of mess inside.”

“You can’t let him win,” she said next, her smile gone. “As soon as you let it mess with your head, he’s won.”

It sounded like she was talking from experience, but it wasn’t something you could ever ask a person. I could see something in her eyes that spoke volumes, something had happened to her, too.

She went up another step and offered, “Come back in and have a drink with me.”

I suddenly really wanted to, but I shook my head thinking of Zac.

“I better not.”

She smiled.

“He’s letting you wear his favorite T-shirt. I think you’re okay to come back inside.”

I examined the T-shirt that had a band’s name and tour dates on it from a couple of years ago.

“Really?”

“Unless you put it on without him knowing.”

I shook my head.

“He gave it to me to wear.”

She laughed loudly.

“Well, there’s a first,” she said with a wink. “Come on.”

Zac

I stepped out of the bedroom to see them all sitting around the living room starting to eat pizza. Janey and Will were arguing over the pizza toppings, while Noah passed a slice to Ava who was sitting next to him, trying not to look up at me.

If I was honest with myself, a major part of me was pleased that she had stayed. Her legs were crossed under her on the couch, and I suddenly hoped to god that she had put the shorts on. Ava in my favorite T-shirt and nothing else was for my eyes only.

I grabbed a slice and then headed over to the kitchen and grabbed beers out of the fridge. I handed them around and passed one to Ava, wondering if she even drank beer.

She took it with a mumbled thanks and I could see she was still mad at me. I sat down across from her and watched her lick some sauce off her bottom lip. Her eyes connected with mine before they quickly looked away.

Thoughts of shoving the pizzas off the coffee table and putting her on there instead and licking her all over crossed my mind, but I cleared it as I took another bite.

“So, Ava, what’s your story?” asked Janey.

She covered her mouth as she chewed on her pizza.

“You’d be bored within seconds.”

“That I highly doubt,” said Janey. “Got any cute older brothers?”

“Nope, it’s just me,” she returned.

“Shame,” said Janey.

“I’m not enough for you now, am I?” asked Will cocking his eyebrow.

Janey rolled her eyes.

“When you’re around. So, last year of school?” she asked Ava.

“Yep.”

“Uni next year?”

“Probably,” she said.

“So what do you drink when you go out?”

“Jesus, Janey. Do you want to know her shoe size next?” I asked, annoyed.

Janey grinned wickedly and asked, “Shoe size?”

“I’m a seven and I like shots,” replied Ava with a smile.

“That’s my girl,” said Janey clinking her beer bottle against Ava’s. “We should go out. I think we could have some fun.”

Terror sliced through me at the thought. Ava had to stay away from Janey more than she had to stay away from me.

“Sounds like trouble to me,” said Noah with his mouth full.

Ava smiled.

“I’d like that.”

“We can get messy together,” said Janey with a wink.

I glared at Janey, but she didn’t look my way. She knew that I was pissed with the idea. She was doing this deliberately to get a rise out of me. It’s what she does best. She was the queen of pushing the limits and then self-destructing.

“Let’s go out tonight then,” she said next. “Girls night at X Bar. Up for it?”

Ava grinned and quickly replied, “Okay!”

I glared darkly.

“You’ve been drinking, Janey. You can’t drive.”

“We’ll catch a taxi,” she said, eyeing me defiantly.

I looked at Ava and wanted to tell her not to go. I wanted to demand it, in fact. But I knew at that moment she’d probably tell me to shove it. I was sure I saw defiance in her eyes as she returned my look. I knew I was in trouble.

Janey started talking about getting clothes for Ava to wear and went out to her car. I threw my half-eaten slice of pizza back in the box.

“I don’t like this,” I muttered.

“Me, either,” said Noah, looking at Ava. “Keep her away from drugs and guys, and you’ll be okay.”

Ava looked a little confused and freaked out. I wanted to reassure her, or demand for her not to go.

“I’ll check who’s on the door tonight,” said Will, pulling his phone out. “I have eyes and ears everywhere.”

A while later, Ava came back out of the bedroom dressed and ready to go out with Janey. She looked like my every fantasy—tight leather pants wrapped her sinful body, with a top that hung off her shoulder showing her perfect skin. Her feet were in black heels that were made with sex in mind.

Will couldn’t help himself and he whistled in appreciation.

“Beautiful Ava,” he said.

She laughed nervously and looked over at me shyly.

Fuck me.

I drank her in and then went to the fridge, grabbed another beer, and slammed the door shut. She stepped closer to me as the boys laughed at something on the television. She leaned against the kitchen counter, while nervously biting her bottom lip.

I was about to bite it for her as she whispered, “You don’t want me to go.”

“No, I don’t,” I returned quietly and stepped closer to her.

She looked up at me with her beautiful sexy eyes, and asked, “Why?”

I know I was meant to be keeping my distance, but I leaned up against her, and I placed my arms on either side of her on the counter. To hell with my self-control and doing the right thing.

“She’s a loose cannon. Anything can happen, and I don’t want you in any danger,” I expressed, looking down at her body against me.

She looked a little offended and snapped, “I think I’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know Janey,” I said, touching my forehead to hers, breathing her in.

“Well, I will after tonight,” she returned defiantly. “Stop treating me like some little innocent.”

“She lives in a different world than yours,” I warned.

She didn’t know half of it.

“I’m not something you have to protect all of the time,” she whispered. “I know what happened last night, but you don’t have to do it now. I can see it drives you mad.”

My hand went to her waist, and I pulled her against me.

“You wearing those pants drives me mad.”

I felt her sharp intake of breath and then my lips were on her, tasting her. My tongue explored inside her mouth as I pushed her against the counter. My hand moved up from her waist to her ribcage, to the underside of her breast.

She whimpered softly and all hell broke loose as the urge to take her right there slammed into me.

“Okay, let’s go!” called Janey. “Stop marking your territory, Zac.”

I pulled back ready to snarl something at her as Ava put her hand on my chest.

“Coming,” she breathed, sliding out from under me.

“I’m a phone call away,” I said huskily to her.

She looked back at me with her kiss ravaged lips and nodded with a dazed smile.

“Don’t wait up!” said Janey in an annoying sing-song voice as they left the unit.

* * *

A few hours later, my phone beeped with a Facebook notification showing that Janey had put some photos up and had tagged Ava. I sat up and butted out my cigarette. I stared at the first one of them together at the bar, hugging each other and laughing. The next one was a photo of a line of shots along the bar. Another was of Ava smiling sexily at the camera, about to do another shot. I paused on that one and looked her over in detail. She was so beautiful that it made my stomach twist. I flicked the screen to the next one and saw Ava standing between two guys, posing for the photo.

I texted Janey in frustration: Stop playing fucking games

She replied instantly: It’s called socializing. I can’t help it if you have a problem sharing…

I texted her back angrily: She’s not a point to be made, Janey

Janey: Being a little possessive, aren’t we?

Zac: Fuck you

Ava

I danced away from the guy who kept offering to buy me a drink and looked for Janey. She seemed to be preoccupied with her phone for the moment. I looked around the amazing club and then at the dancers around me. I was enjoying the fun with Janey, but wasn’t really interested in anyone other than Zac.

I couldn’t get the kiss from earlier out of my mind and it still made my toes curl each time I thought about it. Had he done it deliberately so I didn’t find another guy tonight? Maybe it was his life’s ambition to continually give me mixed signals.

I looked back at Janey and saw her rolling her eyes. Then she came closer to me.

“Let’s go,” she said, grabbing my hand.

“Where are we going?” I asked, over the music.

“My brother is being possessive for the first time since….ever,” she said.

Suddenly, Janey was pulling me through the dancing bodies and we were leaving the two interested guys dancing by themselves.

I raised my eyebrow as we reached the bar again.

“How?”

The bartender came over and Janey ordered more drinks.

She turned back to me and said in a firm tone, “Just don’t let him break your heart.”

“He’s already told me he doesn’t do commitment.”

She looked at me seriously.

“You understand what that means, right?”

“What?”

“He really doesn’t, Ava. He’s fucked up in the head about relationships. I am, too. We’re from a fucked-up family. You can’t go into this thinking you’ll change him,” she shouted over the music as she paid for the drinks.

I took mine and sipped it.

“I’m not.”

“I can see in your eyes that you’re already so infatuated with him. It won’t end well. It never does.”

I gave her a dark look.

“But nothing has even started.”

She shook her head.

“It has. Everyone can see it. But it will end, Ava. Have no doubt about it. We’re both too far gone to be saved,” she said, downing her drink.

“So what are you saying? That I should just give up now?”

“No,” she said vehemently while shaking her head. “Have fun and enjoy him, but understand that it won’t last. Don’t let him break your heart!”

I sipped my drink, and innocently asked, “Why is your family so fucked up?”

“Daddy dearest left us high and dry when we were young. Just left one day without a word. Mother dearest caught herself a rich replacement, who fucking hated us with a passion from day one. Still does. We rebelled against him. He kicked Zac out at sixteen. I stayed a bit longer until one night his own son tried to be more than a stepbrother to me. I left that night and Zac went back and beat him to a pulp. He nearly killed him. He was sent to Juvie for six months, because of it. My stepbrother’s indiscretion was never spoken about. We’re just one big disgrace to the family!”

I was silent as I took it all in.

I took another sip before I asked, “So you escaped him?”

Janey’s eyes glazed over for a moment.

“No. He got what he wanted.”

I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

She suddenly shifted the mood with a wicked grin.

“So, are we going for another dance before we leave?”

She was changing the subject and the girl whose eyes had glazed over in pain had gone.

“We’re leaving soon?” I asked.

She laughed.

“Something tells me I should get you back at a decent hour. Besides, I need Will.”

I raised an eyebrow.

She laughed and grabbed my hand.

“He’s the only one who calms my discontent,” she said, pulling me back onto the dance floor.

Chapter Eight: Don’t Even Breathe On Her

Ava

I spent the time in the taxi looking through Janey’s Facebook profile and her photo albums. There were a lot of clubbing photos and a lot with the three guys. I stopped on one with her hugging Zac, while he had a cigarette dangling from his mouth. They were both entrancing together, gorgeous and wild with so many dark secrets behind their knowing eyes.

I had discovered one of Janey’s secrets tonight and it gave me a little insight into her past. I would never bring it up again, because I could see it had traumatized her. It also made me feel lucky that I had gotten away when I did from Antony.

“You need to walk in to school tomorrow with your head held up high,” said Janey next to me. “Don’t let anyone see that they are affecting you.”

I dreaded the thought of going at it alone tomorrow. Sophie had turned her back on me, and I had been left with no one. I pondered if everyone would be waiting to laugh and tease me, or if they’d just leave me alone.

My head swirled from all the shots and I leaned my head back on the seat, happy that I had gone out tonight with Janey. I liked her and had no idea why Zac had warned me against her. She was wild and fun and just what I needed at the moment.

The taxi stopped at the front of Noah’s house at the top of the driveway and I paid the fare. Janey stumbled out and giggled. I laughed and followed her and then came to a halt.

Antony was leaning against his car that seemed to be sporting four slashed tires and the word “Cocksucker” was spray painted on the rear window. He was talking with two other members of the football team and looked over, pausing as he saw me.

The taxi drove away as Janey started to make her way down the driveway. She stopped when she realized I wasn’t following her.

“What’s the matter?” she asked walking back towards me and then following my line of sight.

I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I just felt an anger that rose up my throat and tried to strangle me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hurt him.

“Had a good night?” one of the footballers asked, eyeing up Janey.

“What’s the matter, Ava?” asked Janey quietly, standing next to me, not taking her eyes off the three guys. “Is it the guy?”

I didn’t respond.

She let out a deep breath, and asked, “Which one?”

I still didn’t respond.

Antony looked me over with an angry stare and snapped, “You think you can play me by wrecking my car?”

Janey grabbed my hand.

“Let’s go inside,” she ordered.

I didn’t move.

Antony stared at me and laughed.

“Come over here and let me finish what we started, whore.”

I saw red.

I lunged for him, not even knowing what I was going to do, but I needed to hurt him somehow. I tried to shove him, but he blocked me with his arm. The pain took my breath away.

“What the hell?” said one of the guys in surprise.

Antony grabbed my arm and pulled me toward him. He had a sick smile still on his face. “Really, Ava?”

“Yes, really,” said a deep voice behind me.

I heard the punch before I saw it and then Antony was falling to the ground. The other two guys rushed forward. I was shoved out of the way. Then they were both on the ground groaning near Antony.

I still hadn’t taken a breath and suddenly gasped for air.

I watched Zac lean over and grab Antony around the collar. He yanked him up, like he weighed nothing.

“Don’t ever fucking touch her,” he snarled. “Don’t even breathe on her. You understand me, you fucking piece of shit.”

“Fuck you,” spat Antony as blood ran from his nose.

“No, fuck you,” said Zac, punching him with such force that he fell back and was knocked out.

Janey grabbed my arm, and instructed, “Come on, let’s go inside.”

One of the other guys got back up again and lunged for Zac, but he was too quick and punched him in the jaw. The guy groaned and fell to his knees as Zac grabbed him by his T-shirt.

“You will never speak or look at her again. Tell your fucking friends. I will kill the next one who does,” he said, shoving him down onto the grass.

I felt Janey pulling me away and I looked back at Zac, not wanting to leave him. I was near Noah’s steps before I stopped and looked over my shoulder. He was behind me, and I suddenly whimpered and fell into him.

His arms went around me and I hid my face in his chest, realizing that I was crying. His chest was warm, and I could hear his fast heartbeat. He held me tight, and I closed my eyes as he stroked my back. His hand moved up to my hair and then rested on the back of my neck.

“I just wanted to hurt him,” I mumbled into his chest.

“Just warn me when you’re going to start throwing punches next time,” he murmured, kissing the top of my head.

I smiled a little and realized that the safest place in my world right now was in his arms. I nestled into him, and my hands touched his stomach as his fingers softly caressed my neck.

I wanted to close my eyes and be soothed like that forever. It was the only thing I wanted, and the only thing I needed. It was so powerful that my heart ached.

I moved my head and looked up at him slowly, silently thanking Janey for her waterproof mascara and fake eyelashes. He leaned down and kissed me with lips that were soft and teasing at first, tasting me. He cupped my cheek, pulling me to him and my body instinctively moved closer against him.

My lips parted eagerly as he slid his tongue against mine and then he took the kiss deeper. With our mouths fused, he leaned me against the car behind me, as my hand travelled up his defined abs and over his chest.

I felt on fire as one of his hands caressed down to my waist and then hip, pulling me to him. His mouth devoured mine and I became lost in the delight of its warmth. Nothing would ever be the same after his kisses. He only made me want him more. I felt short of breath and alive. My senses were on overload as he continued to kiss me.

Then he paused. He stopped kissing me but kept me against him as if he didn’t really want to pull away.

“This is why you needed to stay away from me. None of this would have happened if you hadn’t been with me,” he whispered.

Emotion and anger whirled up inside me. I knew he was pulling away from me again. I wanted to shout at him and tell him that I didn’t care about any of it. I just wanted to be in his arms. I wanted him to protect me. I wanted to feel cherished.

But I said nothing. I just shook my head and then shoved him off me, furious at the extremes he was taking me.

“Ava,” he said.

“Don’t,” I snapped, walking away.

* * *

I was in the same foul mood when I arrived at school the next morning. I ignored the snickering and whispering around me and tried to ignore the word BITCH that had been scrawled across my locker in red permanent marker. I was sure it was Sophie’s handwriting, but what else could I do, other than to pretend it didn’t affect me. I saw Sophie in the hallway before lunch, and she quickly changed her direction and walked away.

I headed into the cafeteria and it seemed that they were all watching me. I focused on Janey’s words from last night and raised my chin. I couldn’t show any weakness. I ordered my sushi lunch, and as I waited to pay at the register, I glanced over at Antony’s table. He quickly looked down at his tray of food.

He had a bandage over his nose and two black eyes. I felt empowered enough to stare a bit longer. Zac had done some damage to his pretty face last night. The other two from last night were deliberately not looking over either, and I realized that Zac’s threats had worked.

I paid for my lunch and then took it outside, not wanting to sit with anyone in there. I forced myself to take a bite even though I didn’t really feel hungry. My phone vibrated. Janey.

Janey: All good?

I replied back: Just as I expected

Janey: Be ready at 5pm. I’m coming to pick you up. Wear something comfortable.

Ava: Where are we going?

Janey: Self-Defense class xxx

* * *

Later that night, after our class together, we grabbed some dinner and ate it in the car.

“Thanks for organizing that,” I said happily. “I feel better even though it’s my first session.”

She put a chip to her mouth and laughed.

“You’ll soon be kicking ass wherever you go.”

I laughed and sipped my coke.

“But I didn’t organize it. My darling brother did,” she stated.

“Oh,” I said putting my coke back down in the cup holder.

She laughed.

“You’ve got it bad for him.”

“No, I haven’t,” I lied.

“You sooo have,” she said shaking her head and laughing.

I shook my head.

“He keeps pushing me away.”

“By organizing self-defense classes,” she returned with a twinkle in her eyes.

“He’s protecting me, but he wants me to stay away from him,” I said in annoyance.

“He probably doesn’t want to corrupt you.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I know I’m…inexperienced with some things, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

Janey’s eyes narrowed.

“How inexperienced?”

I took a bite of my burger.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Look at it this way. There are girls every single night, waiting for their turn with the Zac man. He uses and moves on. No care, no responsibility.”

“I don’t want to be his responsibility,” I said annoyed. “I just want him…to want me, like all of his other girls.”

“You will expect more than he’s prepared to give.”

“Maybe I won’t expect more. Maybe I want to just have some fun like everyone else seems to be doing.”

“Then have fun with someone else.”

I pouted and said, “I don’t want anyone else.”

Janey sipped her coke.

“Zac only looks after himself, me, and his two best friends. That’s it. He doesn’t give a shit about anyone else. And now you’ve come along and changed the order of things,” she said. “And we’re all interested to see what happens next.”

“I’m glad I’m so entertaining,” I mumbled.

Janey laughed.

“Enjoy what he’s doing for you, Ava, because I promise that out of all the girls he’s been with, not a single one has had a level of care that he seems to have for you.”

* * *

The next day at school passed painfully, with the usual whispers and furtive glances. A rubber was thrown at the back of my head in math class, which resulted in an irritating burst of giggles.

My books were accidently shoved off my desk in English. I pretended not to care and went about my business. I tried to concentrate on my studies, even though Zac was never far from my mind.

That night, after hours of studying, I went on Facebook and saw a photo in my newsfeed of Noah and Zac with a girl. She had tagged them both at a club, and she was standing in between them. It was obvious she was intimate with Zac as she posed with her tongue basically in his mouth. I leaned back in my chair and let out a frustrated sigh. I knew I shouldn’t be wasting my time thinking about him because clearly, he wasn’t thinking about me.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door, and I looked over to see my father step in. The night was getting even better.

“Studying?” he asked sitting on the edge of my bed.

“Yeah,” I said not even bothering to close Facebook on my screen.

Zac looked back at me, taunting me.

“I’m worried that things aren’t okay with us,” he said next with a frown.

“They haven’t been for five years,” I mumbled, not looking at him.

“She left us, Ava. I wish you’d remember that.”

I didn’t answer.

“I want Sarah to be part of this family, Ava,” he said next.

“Mission accomplished. She already moved in.”

“I need you to accept her.”

“Do we have to talk about this now?”

“It’s obviously a problem, and yes we do. You’re acting out with your black hair and not coming home to all hours of the morning.”

“Oh, my god, Are you serious? I’m ‘acting out’ because I’m being my age for once.” I stated angrily. “Friends have been doing this for years. All I’ve ever done is work. I need to do these things and have some fun.”

He nodded, and replied, “Fair enough. But I need you to be responsible.”

“Really? We’re having this conversation now?” I asked in exasperation.

I knew he had more to say, but I was too annoyed to listen to him.

“Just be safe,” he said standing up.

“Yep,” I said turning back to my screen.

As he closed the door behind him, I looked once more at Zac and then closed Facebook. Life was just great.

Zac

I sat with my laptop, engrossed in the operating system I was hacking into for a new commission. Corporations paid a lot of money for hackers to infiltrate their systems to construct better security measures and I had come back early from a gig tonight to start the job. Noah had also come back early and I was now trying to unsuccessfully block the sounds of him enjoying himself with a girl in his room next door. I scowled as my phone vibrated in my pocket. Janey.

“What?”

“Having fun, douche?” she asked.

“What do you want, Janey?”

“What’s with the photo on Facebook? Trying your hardest to make sure she stays away?”

“Butt out and worry about yourself.”

“Quit being a dumb-ass, and I will.”

“We’re not together, and she’s not my girlfriend, so stop acting like she is.”

“Fine,” she replied. “Then quit her completely, so I can take her out and she can move on.”

“Maybe you need to stay away, too.”

“Ah…no, I really like her, and I’m not too shit-scared to admit it. She and I are going to be great friends.”

“Whatever,” I said ending the call.

I looked at the screen angrily in front of me and then called her back.

“If you take her out, you need to look out for her.”

“Oh, Zac, stop it. You’re sounding like a boyfriend all of a sudden,” she returned, ending the call on me.

Ava

On Thursday night, Janey invited me out with her to a club, and I was happy for the distraction. Between studying, my home life, my friendless school situation, and Zac, I felt a little beaten.

She told me it was an alternative club and she was wearing her Converse, so I wore my own with a short, black, denim skirt and a black tank top that had a small frill around the low neck.

I liked the club instantly when I walked in and heard the heavier music and observed the alternative crowd. There were three levels to the club with the ground floor being mainstream heavy music, the second being hard core techno, and the top floor being a chill-out zone. We had a few drinks at the ground floor and then headed up the stairs to the second level. The heavy beat thudded through my body, and I went straight to the dance area to jump around and enjoy myself.

It wasn’t long before Janey was taking me up to the next level, which had an outdoor section for smokers. She lit up a joint and I watched the smoke slowly leave her mouth. She then offered it to me with a raised eyebrow. I took it from her, quietly anticipating a night of being a bad girl.

“Janey,” said a guy appearing to our side and leaning over to kiss her on the cheek as his greeting.

“Hey, Paul,” she smiled. “This is Ava.”

“Hi,” I said giving him a brief smile as I held onto the joint.

“Are you going to smoke that or let it burn?” he asked in amusement.

I put the joint to my lips and took a small drag as he watched me. It burned my throat and tasted terrible. I blew out the smoke with distaste.

He quietly laughed at me, shaking his head, saying, “That good, huh?”

So I took another drag, a bigger one this time. I let the smoke slowly come out. It still tasted horrible.

He leaned in and took the joint from my fingers. He took a deep drag while not taking his eyes off me. I looked at him and felt a little numb as my lips tingled.

“Very nice,” he said to Janey as he passed the joint back to her. “And the weed’s pretty good, too.”

Janey laughed and took another drag, winking at me cheekily.

Zac

I walked into the club, following the guys in and scanned for Janey and Ava. I then went straight to the bar with Noah and ordered a round.

Will shook hands with one of the security guards and talked to him. He was soon joining us at the bar.

“They went upstairs about twenty minutes ago.”

“Let’s go,” said Noah taking his drink with him.

We reached the second level, greeted friends, and looked around. Soon, we were heading up to the next level.

I saw her instantly, giggling with Janey. Her long legs were bare and she was wearing her Converse sneakers. Her tight tank top offered a view of her impressive cleavage and her perfectly-sized breasts. I watched her as she leaned against a guy who seemed to be laughing and touching her. Was she high? Jealousy burned my gut and I strode over, not even thinking how I was meant to be staying away.

I saw her sway as she laughed at something and tried to keep her balance. I came up behind her and slid my arms around her waist, holding her against me. She giggled in delight and leaned back into me with her head on my shoulder.

“Hey,” she said happily.

“Hey,” I murmured into her ear.

I noticed the guy take a small step back, and as I glared at him, he took another step back.

“He’s been making me laugh,” she said softly.

I leaned down and nuzzled the side of her neck.

“I’m sure he has.”

I felt her gasp as I bit her neck softly and then licked at it. Her hand shot up and felt its way up behind my neck. Her bottom began to slowly grind against me. She was fucking turned on, and if she kept doing that to me, I would explode. My hand caressed her waist and then it gently stroked her stomach, making its way to just under her breast. I wanted to reach higher.

“So, this is a good surprise,” said Janey as she kissed Will and passed him the joint.

Conversation continued around us as I held her in my arms. She leaned back further into me.

“You have to stop that,” she whispered.

“Why?” I breathed into her ear.

My senses were reeling with excitement from her writhing in my arms.

“You’re making me crazy,” she said and giggled softly.

“Do you feel what you’re doing to me?” I whispered into her ear.

She giggled more.

“Yes,” she said wriggling her bottom against me for effect.

“Stop,” I said biting her ear with an amused grin. “How much of that joint have you had?”

“Enough,” she breathed. “But I can’t feel my feet.”

I chuckled as she turned around in my arms. Then she looked up at me with her big beautiful eyes. She was going to end me. Her hands went under my T-shirt, feeling my stomach. She suddenly smiled mischievously and moistened her lips.

I didn’t wait any longer to claim her lips. My hand grabbed the back of her head. I held her firmly in place and kissed her. Her tongue caressed mine as her hand stroked my back, her nails dragging against my skin. I wouldn’t last if she kept that up.

“Demented looks like he’s having fun.”

I pulled back slightly. Ava softly moaned in protest as I stopped. My brain registered the voice. Max. Fuck. He was the last person I wanted to see right now, especially with Ava here.

I turned and saw him with a smug look on his face, a girl on both sides of him.

“Hey, man,” I greeted him.

I looked to Janey meaningfully. I needed Ava away from here.

Janey went straight to Ava with a smile.

“Let’s go and dance,” she said pulling her out of my arms and leading her away.

“Who’s the girl?” asked Max.

He sipped his beer as he sat down on a recently vacated lounge area. He put his arms around the two girls as I sat down across from them.

I lit up a cigarette and exhaled.

“Just a girl.”

I didn’t even want Max’s eyes on her, let alone give him her name. Max always looked out for himself first and foremost. He also always enjoyed some healthy competition with me. I didn’t want him sniffing anywhere around Ava.

“She’s fucking hot,” Max said, looking for my reaction.

I tempered the instant anger that surged up within me.

“Looks like you have your hands full as it is.”

The two girls giggled and one used that opportunity to move over to me and rest her hand on my thigh. A few weeks ago, I would have had my way with her, but all I could think about was sexy Ava.

“What’s one more?” sneered Max.

I smirked and took a deep drag of my cigarette, hoping to fuck that he would leave soon. We were only friends from Juvie and Max was a bottom feeder. I needed him to forget Ava even existed.

Ava

As Will and Janey kissed on the side of the dance floor, I moved away and headed back upstairs. Zac was no longer standing where we had left them and I searched around for him. I soon found him further back in the lounge area where he was sitting with Noah and his friend with the two girls. The only problem was that one of the girls was now sitting on his lap.

I didn’t take another step. I felt confused with the scene that was playing in front of my eyes. We had been kissing the hell out of each other half an hour ago, and now he had someone else sitting on him.

The girl laughed and leaned back on him, putting her arm around his neck. With frustration coursing through me, I turned back around and quickly left that level.

As I hit the ground level, I was weaving my way through everyone when my phone vibrated. Janey.

Janey: Where are you?

Ava: Going to head home

Janey: What happened?

Ava: Nothing, just time for me to go

Janey: Wait! I’ll come with you!

Ava: Stay with Will. I’m fine.

Janey: Girls night remember??? Wait there. I can see you

She appeared in front of me and I forced a smile.

“Don’t leave because of some skank,” she said instantly.

I couldn’t lie to her or pretend that it didn’t bother me.

“It’s probably best if I go home.”

“Why? You were having fun, weren’t you? Ignore her. It happens wherever he goes,” she said, taking my hand and squeezing it.

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” I answered. “Go back and have fun. It’s a school night anyway, remember?” I said with a wink, trying to lighten the mood.

She looked into my eyes for a moment.

“Let’s go then. We came out together, and we’ll go home together,” she said pulling me towards the entrance.

We stepped out into the cooler night air and looked for a taxi.

“So, who’s his friend?”

“That’s Max,” she said rolling her eyes. “Total scumbag. They bonded during their time in Juvie together five years ago.”

I kept an eye out for a taxi. Five years ago, Zac was in Juvenile Detention, while my mother disappeared from my life.

“Do you think he’ll take her home with him once he realizes I’m no longer there?” I asked suddenly.

Janey shrugged.

“Who can tell? If it was anyone else, I’d say probably, but he’s different with you, so who knows.”

I sighed in frustration and put my hand out for a taxi. I couldn’t take much more of this.

Zac

A few hours later in the taxi on the way home, I looked at the Facebook photo Janey had put up of them both licking ice creams.

She had tagged Ava and had called it: Nothing like finishing a night with dessert! A girls got to have some sweetness in her life

I looked at Ava, laughing and licking at the same time. I had known the moment Ava had left the club earlier that night, because Janey had texted me a furious, short message. I didn’t doubt that the title of the photo was a shot at me as well. I let out a frustrated sigh, knowing I was damned regardless of which way I went with this.

As we walked into Noah’s, my eyes settled on Ava curled up on the couch, asleep next to Janey. I suddenly wanted her. I could have sworn I felt something in my chest as I looked her over. Fuck.

Janey was awake and went straight into Will’s arms, giving me a death stare on the way, making sure I was aware of her feelings on the matter. Tonight had been to get Ava away from Max. Nothing else.

I knew I would lose myself if I stayed around her long enough, and the thought scared me. Her eyes opened slowly and landed on me. I suddenly wanted her hot and panting body beneath me, begging for me. I didn’t want to think how much she unsettled me. I didn’t want to think about how I could never give her what she wanted or deserved.

Chapter Nine: I’m Worth More Than a One-Night Stand

Ava

I watched him come over to me and crouch down. The fact that there was no girl with him made me feel better. He didn’t say anything as he lifted me in his arms and carried me into his room.

He kicked the door shut behind him and put me down slowly so I was facing him.

“Did you kiss her?” I asked, still hurt and angry about tonight.

“No,” he glowered putting his hands on my waist. “I just didn’t want you anywhere near Max.”

I saw the fire in his eyes and glared back at him in defiance.

“So, having a big boobed hot girl in your lap fixed that?”

His eyes danced with amusement.

“It was a means to an end, Ava.”

“Don’t laugh at me,” I whispered, wanting to tell him how much he hurt me.

A sane person would leave, but his eyes seemed to dare me to try. He twirled me around until I was against the wall and he was up against me.

“She wasn’t hot,” he said, his mouth inches from mine.

“She was big boobed,” I whispered, wanting his lips on mine regardless of the consequences.

“Didn’t notice,” he whispered back, looking down at my mouth. “Stay with me tonight.”

I swallowed hard, knowing deep down that there was no way I would let myself leave tonight. He put both hands on the wall, on either side of me. He glared at me with intensity, waiting for my answer. I felt nervous but alive at the same time. I saw the desire in his eyes and it made my heart race.

I wanted nothing more than to throw caution to the wind and sleep with him. But I knew deep down that I didn’t want to do it yet. Not like this. If I was going to give something up like that, it would have to be when I was the only one in his life.

“I wasn’t waiting for you to come home. I was going to leave an hour ago,” I whispered defiantly.

His face became unreadable as my tongue darted out to moisten my lip and he watched the action closely.

“I’m not going to have sex with you,” I whispered next, avoiding his eyes. “I’m worth more than a one-night stand.”

“I know,” he replied huskily.

I looked back up at him then, trying not to get lost in his eyes. He moved one of his hands from the wall and caressed my waist. He stepped closer and his body touched mine. His hand stroked the skin on my back, and I instinctively curved my body intimately into his.

He gently squeezed my bottom over the top of my skirt, and then his hand was underneath my skirt, squeezing one of my cheeks firmly. My heart skipped a beat.

His hand kept moving and exploring my skin, going down my thigh and then pulling my thigh up against him so I was flush against his arousal.

I let out a whimper and saw the hunger in his eyes just before his mouth met mine. He groaned low in his throat as my lips parted and our kiss deepened.

My arms went around his neck as we kissed hungrily, sucking and biting each other’s lips. He ground his body against mine and I gasped in awareness, suddenly needing more.

My nerve endings were going into overdrive, shooting sparks through me. His kisses went deeper than before, and I let him devour me, knowing we were totally alone. Nothing could stop us now.

His hand went under my tank top, and he caressed my stomach. Then he moved up further over my ribs, making me kiss him frantically.

I wanted him to touch me, desperately. His hand went over my bra and then he squeezed my breast gently like he was committing the feel to memory, over and over again. It felt so good that I needed more.

I let him take my tank top off completely. Then he stopped for a moment and took in the sight of me against the wall in my bra. The way he gazed at me made me feel hot and desirable. I wanted him to stare at me longer. I wanted to rub my bare skin against his hands, his chest, his face, and…

“So fucking perfect,” he whispered, almost to himself.

I was softly panting as he returned both hands to my breasts, and he kissed me again. His mouth soon moved down my throat as he kissed and licked at me.

My hips rubbed against him, needing more. His fingers pulled my bra cups down, exposing me to him. My breath caught in my throat as he took my nipple into his mouth. I heard a deep groan and realized it was coming from me.

My head went back, hitting the wall. I had never known such intense, warm pleasure and I ached. Ached for him, for more. I burned for more.

His mouth returned to mine, his tongue clashing with mine as his hands lifted me and I held onto his neck as he moved us over to the bed. He didn’t break the kiss as he moved over the top of me and I hung onto him for dear life.

Nothing and everything made sense. I closed my eyes, no longer thinking, only wanting and needing him. He travelled down to my breasts again, sucking on a nipple as his hand moved down to between my thighs. My legs opened for him, everything on instinct and unplanned as my body tingled.

I whimpered softly as his hand went over my underwear, slowly stroking me and taking his time. It was like he wanted to see if I would tell him to stop.

I arched my back and knew I would beg him if I had to. He kissed me all over before his hand went past the barrier of my underwear, and I cried out softly in pleasure.

He returned to kissing my mouth, and his tongue played with mine while his fingers moved within me, a place where no one had ever touched. I was spiraling out of control. I started to pant at the exquisite pleasure. I needed release and I grabbed onto him tightly as my climax hit me.

I gasped and then cried out silently. The wave of intense pleasure rolled through me. I felt like my body had just been split apart into tiny fragments.

His kisses became softer as I panted, slowly travelling over me and back up to my neck. My back touched the bed again and I felt completely boneless as he looked down into my eyes. He seemed to have a somewhat satisfied look on his face.

My heart still raced and my cheeks flushed as he put my underwear back into place. He lay down beside me with an amused smile and I suddenly giggled as I looked at him in a daze.

I wondered if he knew that it was my first ever time. I hoped to god that I hadn’t made a noise and that the others had heard me. I didn’t know what it meant for us or what was next, but as I trembled, all I could think about was when we were going to do it again.

I looked down at his pants, knowing I wanted to satisfy him, but I had no experience or confidence in that area to just do it. He had agreed to my request for no sex, but maybe he was expecting something else. What if I tried and I was a complete disappointment?

“Stop thinking,” he whispered, touching my cheek softly.

My cheeks turned warm as I glanced at him, amazed at how he knew me so well.

“Just go to sleep.”

His fingers moved over me and he gently pulled my bra cups back into place.

I sat up without another thought and climbed over him, kissing his mouth. He returned my kisses and as I moved my hips over him, his hands went to my waist and stopped me.

“I only have so much self-control,” he whispered against my lips.

“Let me pleasure you,” I whispered.

He swore under his breath and kissed me. His tongue swept my mouth as my hand grabbed at his chest. I wanted his T-shirt off.

He sat up and yanked it off, throwing it across the room somewhere, hardly breaking our kiss.

I ran my hand over him and then down to his zipper. I felt his hardness through his jeans. He clenched as I touched him, and I squeezed more. I liked knowing that I could make him feel good with my touch.

I sat back on him and started to undo his jeans as he lay back, breathing heavy. His eyes didn’t move from me. He lifted his hips slightly and helped me pull his jeans down and then his jocks as he sprang free. Wow. I had seen them before, not in real life of course, but I had seen movies. This one was huge.

I tentatively touched it, all bravado gone now that it was here, hot and ready in front of me. He panted as I touched him. His stomach muscles clenched and I ignored my inexperience. I just went with it. It felt hot and hard, but the skin was so soft. The more I relaxed and moved my hand, the heavier his breathing became.

He sat up with me straddling his thighs and kissed me hard.

“This is going to get messy,” he panted.

I licked at his lips.

“I don’t care,” I said going faster.

“Fuck,” he groaned, kissing me harder.

I kept going, hearing his breathing change, hearing his groans before he gripped my neck.

“I’m coming” he gasped against my mouth.

He shuddered his warm release between us and I panted with him, excitement flooding through me as I heard his groans.

With him still shuddering slightly, I slowly came to a stop and looked down between us. He was breathing heavy and clenching the hair at the back of my neck, like he was trying to right himself. I grinned to myself, liking the idea that I had the power to make him lose control.

“Jesus,” he whispered, kissing my cheek and then my neck.

I smiled and started to kiss his neck in return. I felt wanton, wild and amazed all at the same time. As my tongue darted out to lick at his neck I knew I was addicted to him and would forever want more.

“Let’s get cleaned up,” he said moving off the bed with me still in his lap.

I giggled as he stood up with my legs going around his waist. He kicked his jeans off and then carried me over to the bathroom. He flicked the shower on, and an amused and satisfied smile illuminated his face.

Zac

I awoke the next morning and found myself alone in bed, realizing she had disappeared on me to go to school. I got up and saw that Noah was already awake and tapping on his laptop as I walked past him to the kitchen.

“All good?” he asked, not taking his eyes off the screen.

I put the coffee machine on, thinking of last night and how I had come like a horny sixteen-year-old.

“All very good.”

One touch and I was hers. I remembered her coming apart, like it was the first time for her, and I got hard thinking about it. I wanted more.

I made her come two more times, once in the shower and then another before she fell into an exhausted sleep. Her responses to me made me a little wild, and I knew sex with her would be fucking amazing.

Ava

The next morning I was late to my first class, and I took the empty seat in the front, knowing there would be no seat saved for me by Sophie. Halfway through the class, I looked back to see her staring at me and I turned back around showing her I no longer cared. Thinking of what I had shared with Zac last night got me through the morning, and I couldn’t wait to see him again.

My only concern was that if I gave in to him and we had sex, he would still continue seeing other girls. I didn’t want to devalue something that I had considered so important before he had come along. My virginity was intact, because I had been waiting for the right person and for the right time. I wanted it to be Zac, but not by being just another one of his conquests. I wanted something more. I wanted something that I already knew he wasn’t prepared to give me.

He had warned me all along and I was annoyed at myself for even contemplating that I might be different to him. I was confused, because part of me wanted to just do it and have a wild time, and the other part of me wanted respect and to keep my pride.

I didn’t want to be used. I wanted to be cherished.

I longed to have my mother here so I could share my thoughts and get some sort of female perspective. At the moment, I was a little lost, running on lust-filled adrenalin and two hours’ sleep.

After lunch I received a text from him.

Zac: Hey

Ava: Hey yourself

Zac: Did you disappear on me to get an education today?

Ava: I did…some education has to be taught in schools

Zac: As opposed to?

I grinned.

Ava: The education that can be toe tingling…and a little mind blowing

Zac: Education is VERY important. A ‘little’ mind blowing????

I laughed.

Ava: Nothing little about it actually – but I don’t need to blow your already over inflated ego about that

Zac: I love it when you talk dirty to me

I laughed again.

Ava: Can I talk serious for a sec?

Zac: Okay, but I’m in the mood for more dirty talk

I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

Ava: I want you and only you. I want to give myself to you but I won’t when there is the possibility of you still messing around

Zac: I told you the situation, Ava

Ava: I know, but I want you Zac, like no one ever before. But I’m worth more than to be just one of your one-night stands. I don’t want to share

Zac: I don’t do commitment

I took a deep breath.

Ava: Then you don’t get me

My lips trembled with the ultimatum I had just given him and I felt empowered but sick at the same time. If he decided against me, I would lose him. I was now asking for the one thing that he wasn’t prepared to give.

He didn’t respond.

Ava: I’m not talking forever. I just want to be the only one in your bed when I’m in it

He still didn’t respond.

I let out a deep breath and looked over at a lunchtime basketball game and realized my answer was in his silence. I had delivered an ultimatum and deep down I hadn’t been prepared for the fall out. Who was I? I was just a high school virgin. There were a ton of girls around him better looking and sexier than me. He was probably laughing at me right now.

* * *

By that night, I knew I had done the wrong thing. He hadn’t agreed to my terms and I had probably ruined any chance of happiness no matter how brief.

My chest ached. I wanted to text him and tell him I was joking, because I had truly gambled and lost.

I wanted to hate him for not being able to commit, even for a short amount of time, but I couldn’t. Even if this all ended badly, he had still given me so much. Not only had he protected me with Antony and given me my first sexual experience, but he had unknowingly given me the confidence I needed to survive school without anyone talking to me.

There was a knock on the door and Sarah poked her head in.

“We’re going down to Sorrento tomorrow for the night with friends, and I thought you might want to come along. There will be other kids there.”

“No, thanks.”

Other kids? What was I? Fourteen?

She was about to say something else when my phone beeped. I jumped on it. Janey.

Janey: Party at Noah’s. Come over and have drinks with me

It was all I needed to bring a proper smile to my face and I got up and started to go through my clothes.

“I don’t know why you still hold her so dearly in your mind,” said Sarah quietly.

I stopped and turned to look at her. I felt my face growing angry. She was looking at a photo of my mother on my chest of drawers. It had been taken on a day at the beach and she had my father’s straw hat on and was smiling. The photo had captured her eyes and if you looked hard enough, you could see she had secrets. If only I had known what they were.

“She left you both,” she added.

I gritted my teeth.

“You don’t get to talk about her.”

“But you’re holding on to something that doesn’t even exist,” she said. “She decided to leave you.”

“And aren’t you just the pathetic replacement,” I spat at her.

She stepped back and knew that she had pushed too far. She walked to the doorway and paused.

“I was only trying to talk to you.”

“Don’t fucking bother next time,” I said turning away from her before she could see the tears in my eyes.

The door clicked closed and I shut my eyes tightly. I held onto the anger and tears, knowing deep down that the bitch had a point.

Zac

I leaned against the railing outside, laughing with friends and trying not to think of her. She had thrown me a curve ball today, and I was seriously considering it, because last night, I got a taste and I wanted more.

I lit a cigarette and exhaled into the night air. I felt like I was going crazy. She was making me rethink everything, and I never did that over a girl.

Noah appeared at the sliding door.

“Ava’s here.”

Fuck.

I glared at him and he shook his head.

“I didn’t invite her this time and I know Will didn’t.”

When I turned and looked down at the pool, I saw Janey down there laughing and drinking. I knew exactly who had invited her. I flicked the cigarette over the railing and went inside.

I locked eyes with her instantly and strode over to her, trying not to think how gorgeous she looked tonight with her hair natural and curly like last night after our shower together. I knew guys were looking her over with interest and I wanted to tell them all she was mine.

She looked nervous as I reached her, but I took her hand before she could say anything and headed towards my room. I closed the door behind us and stood away from her, wondering what the fuck I was going to say. I put my beer bottle down on the desk and rubbed the back of my neck. I felt her eyes on me as she leaned against the door.

“What are you doing here, Ava?” I asked needing to hurt her so she stayed away.

“I was invited,” she said with hurt easily detected in her eyes.

Fuck. That felt like shit. I didn’t want to hurt her. Frustrated with myself, I ran my hand through my hair.

“If we’re done here, I’d like to go and find Janey and have that drink with her,” she said coolly.

“Why me, Ava?” I asked suddenly, turning to her with a glare.

She visibly swallowed.

“Why not?”

“Why not a guy like Tyler?” I asked stepping closer to her.

“I’m not attracted to him the way I am with you,” she uttered quietly.

“Someone like him is a safer bet,” I said getting even closer to her until I was an inch away.

I felt her breathing change as she looked up at me with lust in her eyes, but I had to make her see.

“He’ll take you out. Maybe even send flowers. Treat you well and do and say all the right things.”

“I don’t care about flowers,” she whispered.

“You should,” I said huskily, moving my hand up to her cheek and gently brushing it.

She leaned into my hand, wanting my touch and I rubbed her bottom lip with my thumb. Arousal filled her eyes and then she surprised me by licking my thumb, and I took a sharp intake of breath. She was innocent but so willing to experiment, to test my control. I knew I wouldn’t settle the fire in my veins until I had her.

“I’m going to agree to your conditions,” I said throatily.

Her eyes widened.

“As in?”

“One month of exclusivity,” I said huskily. “Once the month ends, we’ll go our separate ways.”

“You think one month is enough?” she whispered.

“I can’t promise anything more,” I said moving my hand down her neck slowly.

She softly gasped at my touch as I stroked my way down to her waist. I loved how she responded to me. I leaned in and kissed her lips, pulling her against me as she kissed me back.

She entangled her fingers through my hair at the nape of my neck and pulled and all doubt disappeared. I shoved her against the door with my body and kissed her hard.

Our lips smothered each other as our tongues furiously clashed. She put both arms around my neck to anchor herself to me. My hands went down to her thighs, pulling them both up and pinning her against the door.

I felt her tremble against me and then her legs squeezed like she was craving her release. The noises she was making at the back of her throat made my cock almost painful.

I wanted to be inside her, but I couldn’t take her like this, not now in the middle of a party. She was different from all the others.

There was a sudden knock at the door and Janey’s voice, “We’re going swimming.”

I swore and closed my eyes as I hit my forehead on the door in frustration.

I hollered, “Congratulations.”

“I want to give Ava something to swim in,” continued Janey.

I growled in frustration and gently put her legs back down, and stood her upright. Then I sat on the edge of my bed.

Tidying her hair, Ava opened my door and looked at Janey.

“Hey,” she grinned looking at us both. “Time to swim. Noah’s parents are away, so we’re taking over the pool. I thought you would need to borrow a pair of mine. I’ve got red or black,” she said holding up bikinis.

“Black,” Ava said shakily, as Janey dropped material into her hand.

She winked at Ava and didn’t miss my death stare.

She looked at me with teasing eyes and said, “Let her get changed in peace, Zac. Besides, Lee is here looking for you.”

I gave a frustrated sigh as Ava turned to look at me and Janey disappeared back into the party.

“Swimming it is, then,” I said with resignation.

I needed to go and get some air anyway and calm down.

“I’ll meet you out at the pool,” I said walking past her and out the door.

I started to weave my way through the living room and then stopped, thinking how freaked out she looked as I left. I turned around and went back into the room and found her in the same spot, looking nervous, still holding the bikini.

I smiled and kissed her. Then kissed her again.

“Pool is out past the kitchen, down the steps. I’ll be out there.”

She nodded and I left her to it.

Ava

I nervously started to bite my thumb nail. How was I going to pull off this bikini without looking terrible? There was nothing to cover any part of my body, and I was going to die of embarrassment. I considered just how many gorgeous girls there were jumping in the pool right now. Had he really just agreed to be with me exclusively for a month? Oh, my god.

I got changed and folded my jeans and top. I put everything including my shoes beside his bed. I had a month. A month of new adventures and fun. I couldn’t run away at the first test. I would walk out there and hold my head high. I had Zac, even if it was only temporary. He was all mine and that fuelled my confidence as I slipped the bikini on.

There were two string ties on either side of the bottoms, and I thanked god that it covered my bottom and it wasn’t a G-string. The small triangles over my breasts were an entirely different matter. I looked down and freaked. One wrong move and I was sure I would expose myself.

I couldn’t do it. I sat down on his bed and closed my eyes.

It wasn’t long before the door burst open and Janey was there with a grin on her face.

“Come on, girl, the party awaits!”

“I’m shitting myself,” I said honestly.

“Sweets, my brother will swallow his own tongue when he sees you in that. Let’s go,” she said grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the room.

I took a deep breath and looked around the party unsurely, knowing her hand holding mine was the only thing stopping me from running back into Zac’s room.

A couple of guys standing on the deck stopped talking and looked me over as Janey giggled and pulled me over to the pool. She grabbed two bottles of cider and passed one to me. I hadn’t seen Zac yet and was too embarrassed to look around the party as I tentatively sipped the cider.

Janey introduced me to some friends beside the pool, and I was greeted with friendliness. I calmed myself a little more as I sipped the cider and listened to them talk. I tried to ignore the fact that I was standing in front of everyone with a miniscule bikini on. I had to look at this all as a new adventure, a way of pushing my boundaries and seeing what happened.

Two arms came around my waist and lips softly kissed my bare shoulder. I smiled in relief as I leaned back into Zac, happy he was finally with me. The group joined him in the conversation, and I felt his deep voice rumble in his chest as he spoke to them.

He then kissed my neck and whispered into my ear, “You are the fucking hottest girl I have ever seen.”

My cheeks grew warm, and my heart grew even warmer at his words. “I’ve literally died and gone to heaven,” he whispered.

I tried to remember to breathe as his hands gently caressed my skin in front of everyone, knowing it looked affectionate to the group, but it was doing wild things to my senses. I felt his bare chest behind me, the warmth from his body encasing mine.

Someone called out to him and he turned to look. He left me for a moment to greet new arrivals. I watched him greet them with handshakes, the guys looking a lot older than me. Noah was there, too, laughing with them about something and passing them beers. I covered myself by crossing my arms, feeling bare again that he wasn’t against me.

Janey passed me her joint, and I took a drag, feeling the hot smoke fill my lungs. I slowly blew it back out and passed it back to her.

“Relax,” she said with a wink. “Looks like you’ve just done the impossible, so enjoy it while it lasts.”

Janey passed me the joint again and I took another drag. I let it flow around in my lungs and then let out a steady stream of smoke into the night air. This one hit me and I felt my head swirl as my legs became shaky. I had no idea how they all managed to finish a whole one when it had this effect on me after two drags.

Janey moved away to go for a swim with Will, who was walking out onto the diving board. I watched them together, feeling my limbs relax.

I looked down at my hand to see the joint still burning away and I took another small drag.

Zac appeared behind me again and I relaxed into him as he took the joint from my fingers.

“This is strong stuff,” he said taking a drag and then flicking it to the ground.

I had to agree with him, because it felt like I was floating. I felt him exhale the smoke and then he leaned into my ear.

“Stay with me tonight,” he murmured.

I smiled, knowing there was nothing in the world that I’d rather do.

Chapter Ten: All Mine

Zac

I stood next to the fire pit, talking with Noah and friends with Ava under my arm. I sipped my beer and laughed with them, liking that she was against me, happy to just be with me. She didn’t try to flirt with my friends, and the things she added to the conversation were smart and funny.

I leaned in and kissed her, seeing her eyes alight with desire and what looked like happiness. I had put that on her face and it made me feel powerful. My chest ached slightly and I went back to sipping my beer, trying not to panic at the feelings that I never usually allowed myself to feel.

Ava

In the early hours of the morning, I awoke to the sound of guys talking. I opened my eyes but didn’t move, trying to figure out where I was and why my head was fuzzy. I was on Zac’s bed, minus Zac, and I still had my bikini on. I realized that I had obviously smoked too much and I didn’t know where Zac had gone.

“She would probably be up for it,” said a male voice.

“Zac might not like it,” said another.

I realized they were standing in the doorway looking at me. I froze in complete panic, wondering what to do. Music was still playing loudly and no one would hear me scream from in here.

“He doesn’t give a shit about any of his girls. He’d say go for it.”

“I don’t know.”

“Stop being a pussy and just get on the bed. She’s out of it anyway.”

I moved instantly and squinted in their direction.

“Get out,” I whimpered in fright.

I tried to remember the moves I had learned in self-defense class, but my mind went totally blank. The room was dark and they were backlit by the living room light, so I couldn’t see their faces.

As they both stepped closer to the bed, I felt a hand on my thigh as the mattress dipped. I kicked out at him and screamed as loud as I could.

The bedroom light turned on, and I heard a thud and then a crack.

A guy grunted while the other one shouted, “We didn’t do anything!”

“No one goes near her!” roared Zac.

I heard a crash, and then out of fear, I curled myself into a tight ball. I hid my head in my arms, still scared for my life. I heard a guy groan, and then I heard the constant thud of a fist hitting skin. I cringed and tried to block it out, covering my ears.

I glanced over and saw Zac throwing punch after punch like someone wild, and Noah had the other guy against the wall punching him, too. Will soon jumped in and pulled Zac off the guy, whose face was now a bloody mess.

“Cool it. You’re going to kill him.”

Zac didn’t take his eyes off the bloody mess of the guy, now on the floor who was trying not to choke on his own blood. Zac was breathing heavy, fists still clenched. His eyes looked wild as Will held him back. I looked over at the guy who was on the floor. His eyes were starting to swell, and blood poured from his nose and mouth. I wanted to scream, but nothing would come out.

Noah pulled his guy up from the floor who was groaning in pain and dragged him out of the room. Will released his restraint on Zac and dragged the other guy out by his feet.

Everyone was still hovering by the door, watching with interest before Zac snarled, “Fuck off,” and then he slammed the door closed.

I started to cry with silent sobs that racked my body as I held on to myself tightly. Zac turned to me, still breathing heavy with anger in his eyes before he suddenly changed, like a switch had been turned off.

Gently, he said, “Ava.”

I cried more, not knowing if I was crying for myself, for the guys outside who would need an ambulance now, or for Zac.

He came over to me and tried to untangle my arms around my head.

“No,” I cried with big racking sobs.

“Ava,” he said soothingly. “It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You nearly killed him,” I whimpered.

“He was going to try and rape you,” he hissed. “He would have taken turns with his friend if I hadn’t stopped him.”

I sobbed out loud and looked at him in bewilderment.

“Don’t be scared. I’m here. I’ll never let anyone hurt you. Ever,” he said with unwavering intensity.

“What if you hadn’t come?” I sobbed.

He closed his eyes for a moment as if hating the sheer thought of it.

“They said you didn’t give a shit about your girls, and that you wouldn’t care.”

He opened his eyes and looked into mine. I could see pain in their brown depths.

“Why is this happening to me?” I bemoaned. “Why would they think that? Why did you leave me alone?”

“You were stoned and so tired. You were falling asleep on me, so I thought you’d be better off in here.” He looked at me in despair. “My mistake. I’m not good at this, I told you.”

I swallowed hard and managed to ask, “If it hadn’t been me, if I was one of your other girls, would she have just let it happen? And is it true that you wouldn’t have cared?”

“I never said I was a nice guy, Ava. It would have been up to her. I probably wouldn’t have cared.”

His honest response sat heavily between us, and I took a deep breath to calm myself. I had entered a new world here, with unusual grown-up rules.

“But you’re different,” he admitted, like he was annoyed at his own admission. “I go crazy when someone looks at you, let alone tries to touch you,” he said not meeting my eyes.

He looked down to his bloodied knuckles and turned, pulling his T-shirt off as he went inside the bathroom. I heard the water running and relaxed my muscles, stretching back out on the bed and uncurling my legs. He had saved me, again! He had broken someone’s nose for me, again! He had just told me that I was different from all his other girls.

I sprung from the bed and went to the bathroom. I saw him with his head against the mirror. His eyes were closed as the sink water washed his hands. I came up gently behind him and brushed my hands around him. I kissed his back. I felt his back muscles tense slightly, and then I kissed him again. I could feel him slowly starting to relax. With my hands, I caressed his stomach and then moved around to his back. I firmly pressed into his muscles with my fingers, wanting to comfort him in any way that I could.

I heard him exhale as I rubbed his shoulders. I felt the tension in his muscled body and stroked down his back again, this time tracing his tattoos. I kissed him, tasting his skin just below the wings.

I embraced his strength in my hands, feeling the perfection as my fingers traced the tattoos around to his rib cage.

“Have I scared you off? It’s probably better if I have,” he whispered.

“I’ve never had someone protect me like you do,” I whispered to him. “It’s kind of amazing, hot and scary, all at the same time.”

He turned the tap off and grabbed the hand towel, wiping his bruised knuckles

“Hot?”

I smiled slightly as my hands roamed over his chest. “Like I’ve died and gone to heaven type of hot,” I whispered his words back to him.

He turned, dropping the hand towel into the sink and leaned against it as I took one of his hands in mine. I softly touched his bruised knuckles, and concentrated on each one, taking my time.

He watched my fingers and then his piercing eyes gazed into mine.

“I don’t want you to ever be scared of me.”

“I’m not,” I whispered.

I couldn’t tell him that I was only scared of what he could do to my heart.

He held my face firmly with both hands and looked deep into my eyes.

“I’ll hurt anyone who tries to hurt you.”

I believed him wholeheartedly and I felt safe and wanted. I leaned in to kiss his lips, and his hands moved to the back of my neck. His fingers ran through my hair, pulling at it softly as his tongue met mine. We slowly licked at each other, teasing.

My fingers went to his stomach, feeling the definition and tautness. Then I grabbed the waistband of his shorts, his stomach clenching slightly as my hand went further down. I felt over his shorts, making my way over his hardness, still not believing the sheer size of him.

I heard his breathing change as I touched him, and suddenly I knew I wanted to please him. His fingers tangled into my hair as he kissed me harder and I cupped him. He groaned in the back of his throat as he kissed me, the sound making me want to go further. I felt scared of the unknown, but powerful that I could give him pleasure.

I broke away from his kiss and leaned in to kiss his collarbone, giving him small licks as I made my way down his chest, past his stomach. With his fingers still tangled in my hair, he looked down at me with heavy lidded eyes. With my eyes still fixed on him, I pulled at his shorts, and moved them down, along with his jocks. His cock stood at attention in front of me as I kneeled down.

Breathing heavy, he tried to swallow.

“Ava,” he warned me.

I took hold of him and gave him a wicked smile before I licked him. A groan came from his mouth, and his eyes filled with a mindless lust as he watched me. I licked my way down the length of him and then all the way back up, seeing his perfect body shudder slightly.

Feeling a little more confident, I took him into my mouth and sucked on him. A groan coming all the way from deep in his chest found its way out of his mouth. His fingers tightened in my hair and he panted.

“Jesus, Ava”

I kept going with my mouth and hand, each time taking him in a little further. His groans grew more frequent and guttural. His eyes didn’t move from me, knowing the sight of me on my knees in front of him was all part of the experience.

“Fuuuck,” he groaned louder, gently moving my head faster against him. “Shit, I’m going to come.”

I kept going, sucking, licking, and panting with the rhythm from seeing him in so much pleasure.

“Ava, stop” he gasped, and pulled me back by my hair. “I’m going to come.”

I wanted to taste him, wanted to experience it, so I kept going, until he let out a guttural groan. His body tensed as I felt the warm, thick liquid spurt into my mouth.

Zac

That was hot, I thought as I emptied myself into her mouth. I had come so hard and fast, it was as if I had seen stars. Ava was on her knees in front of me, which sent a wild fire through my veins. I had to be the luckiest fucking guy on the planet right now!

How the fuck had I found this dark, innocent angel, and how the hell was I going to keep from losing my shit over her? She was a temptress but still so innocent. The combination was so hot that it blew my mind.

I didn’t think twice as I leaned down and picked her up from the floor. I carried her and held her against me as I headed back inside the bedroom. I dropped her onto my bed and she giggled as I followed her down, climbing over her and pulling her bikini top away with impatience.

She gasped as I clamped my mouth around her nipple and she put her hands in my hair. I wanted to make her see stars. I wanted to make her forget her own name.

I travelled down her body with my tongue, loving to hear the little whimpers coming from her as I went. I reached her bikini bottoms and pulled on the tie at the side as she tried to cover herself.

Amused at her actions, I went back up her body, sucking and gently biting her as I went. My hand soon removed the bikini, which left her butt-naked bare in front of me.

My finger went into her and her wetness told me she was ready as her back arched in pleasure. I put two fingers in and she gasped, while looking down at me as she panted. I stared into her eyes, watching her, as I went down further and licked her there.

Her body shot up and she let out something between a whimper and a squeal. It was the hottest thing I had ever heard, so I licked her again, tasting her. Her body gave a shudder I had never felt before. She was so fucking responsive and perfect that I was already hard again.

“Oh, my god,” she squealed softly leaning her head back, showing me her perfect body coiled with passion.

I continued to lick her and then sucked on the right spot that had her groaning and pulsating against my tongue.

“Zac,” she moaned, her eyes tightly shut as her world started to come apart.

My fingers and tongue moved in unison as her body shook in spasm. She came apart under me. She flung her arms back, grabbing onto my bedding and twisting at it as she felt each wave of pleasure. I sucked on her one more time and she screamed in orgasmic bliss.

I let her body calm after it, feeling her muscles still shudder in places as I kissed my way back up to her.

She lay boneless under me. Some of her hair still covered her face as she breathed heavily with her eyes still closed.

Absolute perfection.

I rolled off her and stretched out next to her, knowing I needed sleep now. I felt her shiver slightly next to me, and I pulled the comforter over both of us. She still hadn’t said a word as she curled up beside me. I kissed her forehead.

“You alive?” I whispered in amusement.

With her eyes still closed, her lips curled into a beautiful smile, and she moaned, “Mmmm.”

I taunted her, “No words?”

She shook her head and then giggled softly. She gently placed her soft hand on my chest as she snuggled into me.

Fuck me.

I wasn’t a snuggler! As soon as I finished with a girl, I told her to leave, because no one stayed over. No one snuggled up against me with a sated smile on their face. No one ever looked this perfect up against me in all their naked glory, like she did. She was breaking all my rules, but for tonight, I was too tired and turned on to care.

One thing I knew about tonight and my one-month decision, was that she was fucking mine.

Ava

I awoke the next afternoon when I heard someone knocking on Zac’s door. I opened my eyes and gasped at what I saw. Immediately, I knew enough to cover myself with the bed sheets knowing I was naked.

Janey stepped in and looked at me with a knowing grin. I laughed and then tightened the covers around me.

“What?” I asked her.

Zac opened his eyes and growled, “Fuck off, Janey.”

“Just wanted to know if you want to come out with me tonight?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Underground warehouse party,” she said. “With lots of sex and debauchery to keep you entertained,” she added with a wink.

“How fucking appropriate for you,” mumbled Zac.

“Screw you, asshole,” said Janey angrily.

“Close the fucking door,” he groaned into his pillow.

Janey went to close it and then looked at me questioningly. I gave her a “thumbs up” gesture, and she grinned before she slammed the door shut.

Zac

I watched the running script on the screen and paused my fingers at the keyboard, memories of last night storming through my consciousness at every fucking opportunity. I’d had plenty of sexual experiences over the years. Probably too many, but a night with Ava had done me in.

I couldn’t imagine what sex could possibly be like once we got there. I suddenly and annoyingly felt like a randy, sixteen-year-old-dude who thought about nothing else but sex with the goddess of his dreams.

She was like a drug and I was afraid I’d never get enough. Nothing had ever tasted sweeter, but she still went against every rule in my life.

Annoyed with myself, I tried to focus on the screen again. I needed to program code and I couldn’t think for shit. She was weaving herself into me and I didn’t do tenderness. Fuck! In the past, I had never let my guard down, because I’d be finished.

I hated the thought of her going out tonight with Janey, but I stopped myself from texting her or checking on her whereabouts. She defied all logic and I couldn’t stop the stirrings of how much I wanted and needed her in my life.

Ava

The underground club was an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Melbourne with a DJ and a mass of people dancing. No one seemed to care about anything other than dancing and having fun. The music was infectious as it throbbed through me and made me want to dance.

Janey, having already popped an ecstasy tablet, was off dancing and smiling at everyone. I had pocketed the tablet she had given me, unsure of whether to take it, because of my past experiences, and knowing that Zac wasn’t here to rescue me if anything went wrong.

I knew I couldn’t rely on Janey when she was having her own fun, so I decided to wait and see how the night turned out. She had made me swear that I wouldn’t tell Zac about the ecstasy, because he didn’t want her to take drugs, especially when she was with me. This definitely made me curious about the reasons behind her secrets.

I watched her for a while. She laughed and flirted as she danced with guys, and I sat on an old grandstand to one side of the room. Zac had been a little distant this afternoon, and I didn’t know if it was me or something else that was bothering him. I knew he didn’t like the idea of me going out with Janey. But for whatever reason, I liked her and wanted to be with her.

I remembered last night and the things that Zac and I had done. He had stirred up a burning desire within me, and I wanted to be with him again. Right now. I already knew that a month of exclusivity wouldn’t be long enough. That’s why I needed to make every day count.

I checked my phone and saw a text from my dad who I knew had called me a few times already tonight.

Dad: Where are you? Call me

Ava: With Sophie having a sleepover and studying

I looked back over to where Janey had been and realized she had moved. I didn’t want to lose sight of her tonight as I searched the dance floor. The DJ mixed a song full of bass and everyone jumped in excitement.

I soon found her near me, but she was a few rows further down, sitting astride a guy’s lap. She was kissing him like her life depended on it. I didn’t know whether her relationship with Will was that open, but I thought that it was none of my business.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

I turned around and saw a boy about my same age who was sitting next to me. He broadly produced a smile on his face. His eyes were wide and his hair was all sweaty like he had been dancing for quite a while.

“Hey,” I said with a quick smile as I turned my head away.

“What’s your name?” he demanded.

“Ava.”

“I like that name,” he shouted back to me.

I smiled and turned away again.

“I’m Prince Lollipop James,” he shouted into my ear.

I laughed, and said, “Really? Great name.”

“You’re so beautiful when you laugh,” he shouted to me.

“Thanks,” I shouted back.

“You need anything?” he asked.

I guessed he meant drugs and I shook my head.

“I’m okay, thanks.”

“Wanna come dance with me?”

“I’m waiting for my boyfriend. Sorry. He’s around here somewhere,” I lied.

“That’s cool,” he said with a great big smile, not moving away from me as he watched the crowd in a happy daze.

I sent a text to Zac.

Ava: Sitting here with a guy called Prince Lollipop James and…I’m missing you. Can I say that? Hope it doesn’t make you cringe and run for the hills. I keep thinking of last night xxx

I sent it and then cringed at my words. He would think I was acting so “high school” after reading that, especially when I had only left his bed this afternoon.

But, he responded immediately.

Zac: Would you kindly stay the fuck away from guys called Prince Lollipop James

I grinned at his response and longed to be with him. I had a sudden urge to leave right now. Zac soon sent another text.

Zac: And keep thinking about last night and how you’re mine

My stomach flipped at his response, loving his possessiveness. I only had thirty days left with him and I suddenly wanted to make every hour count. I looked over at Janey, and I wanted to tell her that I needed to go, but I saw her get up from the benches with the same guy and walk off hand in hand. I stood up getting ready to follow.

“You going?” asked Prince Lollipop.

“Nice meeting you,” I shouted with a smile as I made my way back down.

I noticed Janey’s blonde hair in the distance and quickly went to follow. She left the main dance area and walked into another section of the warehouse. I followed her through a large chamber that led to a smaller section again, this one darker and private. I tried not to stare at the people inside, doing a lot more than kissing. It was like a dark wall-to-wall sex room, and I swallowed unsurely as I walked in further trying to see Janey.

I spotted her over in the corner, kissing the same guy while another guy was behind her, scraping his hands over her roughly before lifting her skirt. She leaned back against him and closed her eyes with pleasure. I quickly turned back, blindly making my way back out again. Did Will know she was doing this sort of stuff? Did Zac? It made me feel like I truly was an innocent.

“What are you doing in there?” asked Prince Lollipop suddenly appearing in front of me.

I gave him a dirty look. Was he following me now?

“My friend is in there.”

“You sure I can’t help you with anything?”

“Quite sure,” I said side-stepping him and moving on.

I moved out of the warehouse, through a side door and took a gulp of fresh air at the same time that my phone rang. Sophie. Surprised that she was calling me, I answered it hearing a club in the background.

“So you’ve blocked us from Facebook?” she stated.

“I thought the last thing you wanted was to be my friend, Sophie.”

“Where are you tonight?” she asked.

“At a warehouse party. Why? Where are you?”

“Clubbing with Antony and Nathan,” she slurred.

I realized she was drunk and had obviously called to talk or fight.

“Are you with the burners?” she asked next.

I rolled my eyes at her word choice, knowing it had come from Antony.

“They’re not burners. They’re my friends.”

“Who take drugs and waste their lives away,” she slurred. “Real classy.”

I felt my anger rise.

“What would you know hanging around such soft cocks like Antony and Nathan?”

“Soft cocks, Ava? Really?”

“Oh, Sophie, I don’t want to argue over these people.”

“Well, you started it by sleeping with a guy who was mine.”

“I didn’t sleep with him, Sophie,” I said, gritting my teeth. “He tried to rape me! He’s a repulsive pig!”

“Whatever, Ava! Go and have a joint,” she said ending the call.

I looked at my phone in disbelief. Well, fuck her, fuck everyone. I took the small pill from my pocket and put it on my tongue, waiting for the fun to begin.

Zac

My phone vibrated on the desk next to me and I saw that Janey was calling me.

“I’ve lost her,” she said in a panicked voice when I answered.

Dread filled me.

“What do you mean you’ve lost her?” I growled.

“I lost her in the party and I went back to the car to see if she was there, but she wasn’t. I’ve searched everywhere, Zac!”

“For fuck’s sake, Janey! I fucking warned you to look after her!” I snarled.

“I know,” she cried. “But I just lost her and now I don’t know what to do!”

“Stay fucking there. I’m on my way,” I said storming out of my room, my car keys in hand.

I checked my tracking app for her phone to see there was no signal, meaning her phone was off. Fuck. I ran out to my car and with a squeal of tires, sped off towards the dance party.

Ava

I danced feeling the beat of the music through my skin, moving in between other dancing bodies and letting go, feeling happy. The music was sharp to my ears and I could pick up every different note and sound, feeling like it was a part of me.

I saw Prince Lollipop in front of me and I laughed because he was still smiling at me. He got closer as he danced and I could see the beads of sweat running down his face.

The beat got heavier and I squealed in happiness, starting to jump alongside everyone. Prince Lollipop jumped with me and I laughed with him.

For the next few hours, I saw the dancers around me, their faces close and then far away. Some smiled and others were at a different place entirely to the one we shared. I wanted to jump higher and try and touch the roof. I wanted to go for a run and burn off all the energy I had. I looked down at my Converse and could see they were floating above the concrete floor. I laughed to myself, not believing I was floating. Where was Prince Lollipop? I had to show him I was floating.

Someone touched my arm and I felt the amazing heat. I touched them back, tingles sparking off all over my body. I thought of Zac and imagined touching his body, remembering last night. I closed my eyes at the extreme pleasure.

Zac

I stormed into the warehouse, looking around quickly, scanning the increasing crowd. Janey appeared beside me and grabbed my arm.

“I’m sorry, Zac.”

“Just fucking find her,” I barked walking in further.

I hated the thought of her being alone, or with someone who could take advantage.

“Did you give her E?” I asked angrily.

Janey nodded.

“But she might not have taken it.”

“For fuck’s sake,” I growled angrily, scanning the party. “Where the hell were you? You shouldn’t have separated!”

Janey looked down at her feet.

I swore again, knowing instantly.

“Tonight, Janey? You chose tonight to start losing your shit again? This is your fault, Janey. Find her!”

I hated when I didn’t feel in control of the situation. I was responsible for her, and if something happened to her, I would never forgive myself. She was mine for the month, and I had to keep her safe.

Ava

I looked around the room I was in and realized I had moved from the main dancing area. I felt really hot, like my skin was on fire. I leaned against a concrete wall and tried to enjoy the coolness from it on my bare skin.

Prince Lollipop was in front of me again.

“Don’t go any further in,” he shouted over the music. “You don’t want to do what they are doing in there.”

I looked at his face, seeing his mouth move and then I heard his muffled words.

“What?” I mumbled, my voice sounding far away even to my own ears.

“Where’s your boyfriend? I’m leaving now.”

“Boyfriend?” I mumbled.

He took my arm and led me back into the main room. He sat me down on the bench seat. My head swayed. I felt so hot and clammy. I wiped my face and felt wetness. I tried to focus on my fingers, but they looked too far away.

“Where is your boyfriend? Where’s your phone? Can I ring someone?”

I heard the words, but I didn’t respond. My head felt separate from my body, and I tried hard to breathe.

I heard the voice I was desperate to hear, and all my senses snapped together as I looked up into Zac’s beautiful brown, angry eyes.

Chapter Eleven: You Make Me Crazy

Ava

I tried to focus on the lights flashing past the car window and leaned my head back on the seat. The car turned a corner sharply, and I was flung to the other side of the back seat. The seat belt nearly choked me. I giggled uncontrollably.

“Get her to drink,” snarled Zac from the front seat.

Janey leaned over me and put a bottle of water to my lips. I gulped at it, feeling like I hadn’t had a drink in days. I gazed at Janey and saw that she was crying. I tried to process what was happening.

“I’m sorry, Ava,” she cried. “I fucked up. I always do.”

I pouted and said, “I had fun, because I floated.”

Then I giggled again, remembering.

“I specifically told you no drugs tonight,” shouted Zac. “I had one fucking request, and you couldn’t even follow that!”

“You can’t control me!” she screamed at him.

“You had fucking Ava with you,” he shouted back.

The car stopped with a skid and doors were flung open and then slammed closed. The sound made me laugh for some reason. My door opened and Zac lifted me out, kicking the door closed behind him as he carried me up to Noah’s.

“Jesus, Janey, what did you do?” asked Will as soon he saw me.

“Fuck you all,” she shouted heading into the kitchen and looking for a cigarette.

Zac placed me on the kitchen counter, and I looked at him properly for the first time that night and noticed that he had a beanie on. I licked my lips and smiled.

“You look so hot in that,” I said with a giggle.

“What did she take?” asked Noah, coming over.

“Einstein gave her E,” Zac said, annoyed.

“Oh, fuck you, Zac,” said Janey opening a drawer and slamming it closed. “So she took fucking E. Who cares? She had fun!”

“I had fun,” I said to no one in particular as I leaned back until my back felt the coolness of the bench.

“You gave her a full one?” asked Will looking over me.

“She’s fine!” shouted Janey lighting up a cigarette with shaking hands. “I just lost her in the crowd and panicked.”

“Anything could have happened to her,” said Zac through gritted teeth.

Janey rolled her eyes.

“But it didn’t!”

I closed my eyes with a smile and whispered, “I saw the dark room.”

The room went silent.

“What room?” asked Zac.

“The one with Janey,” I announced. “But Lollipop pulled me out of there, because I only want sex with Zac, no one else,” I said starting to giggle again.

“You can’t be fucking trusted,” shouted Zac. “Anything could have happened, and you allowed her to see you at your fucking worst.”

“Shut up,” screamed Janey bursting into tears.

“She needs to drink more water,” said Will.

“She’s burning up,” said Noah.

Will appeared at my side.

“Beautiful Ava, you need to drink this,” he said soothingly.

I felt hands pull me back up to a sitting position and a plastic bottle touched my lips. Water gushed out, nearly choking me, but I gulped it down.

“So thirsty,” I gasped.

“I’m sorry, okay?” sniffed Janey. “I’m fucking sorry. How many times can I say it?”

“You’ve said enough,” spat Zac angrily.

“She’s fine,” said Janey pointing at me.

Zac growled in frustration.

“I can’t deal with this shit,” he said as if to himself.

He lit up a cigarette and dragged on it as he ran his hand through his hair.

“Can’t deal with me or Ava?” asked Janey. “Or is it that you’re suddenly caring too much about her, and you don’t know how to handle it?”

“Fucking go home, Janey,” he muttered darkly.

“You can’t protect her from everything. Can’t you see that?” she returned.

“Maybe don’t give her drugs, and then fuck off somewhere,” he returned just as quietly.

“Whatever,” she said grabbing her bag. “Just try and hold on to her without being a total control freak. If she makes you feel things, then at least I know you’re human inside.”

“Janey,” warned Noah.

Zac exploded.

“As opposed to how you make yourself feel human by fucking around!”

“Get fucked,” she said angrily.

“You already did that tonight, remember?” he said.

Janey stormed across the unit, swung the front door open, and slammed it closed after her.

Noah let out a deep sigh and sat down on the couch. I closed my eyes and leaned onto Will’s warm chest in front of me.

Zac

I watched her sleep as I sat on the window sill in my bedroom contemplating what the fuck I was going to do. Morning had come and gone, and she slept soundly. I knew that she would be exhausted after last night.

I held her charged phone in my hand and saw that Sophie had called her last night. I wondered what had been said. I saw her texts to me and then looked at her photos to see two of her and the Prince Lollipop laughing together. I was kind of glad I hadn’t punched first and asked questions later, because he had looked after her last night, and for that, I was grateful.

I put her phone down on the desk beside me and then shoved my head back on the window frame, welcoming the pain and wondering how the fuck I was going to fix this.

She had to go. I couldn’t have her as my liability, especially with Janey in her life. I only had capacity for Janey, making sure she didn’t self-destruct too badly when she decided to let loose and get wasted on drugs. I couldn’t manage looking after Ava as well. I couldn’t let her into my life.

I hated not being in control. I hated the thought of Ava being hurt. I couldn’t breathe at the thought of anything more happening to her. She needed to go back to her own life, where she could be safe and be with the right people.

I had always been wrong for her, and I was furious with myself that I let it get this far. She was far too innocent and perfect for all of this.

Even though I was fucking pissed at Janey, she had been right last night in one way. I had started to care too much, and I didn’t know how to fucking handle it.

She had to go.

I lit up a cigarette and shoved the window up, the movement waking her. Her eyes landed on me and she smiled softly. Lying there in my bed with her messy curls and in my T-shirt, I wanted to go over and show her how much I wanted her to be mine. She was beautiful.

She sat up and rubbed at her eyes.

“Hey,” she said huskily.

I wanted to go over and bury my hands in her hair and taste her, but I took a hard drag of my cigarette instead. Then I reminded myself of the plan. She had to go. Now.

My silence made her look a little uneasy. I looked out the window, hating to hurt her like this. I threw her phone onto the bed.

“It’s fully charged now.”

“Thanks,” she said unsurely, looking down at her phone and then back up at me.

“Where’s Janey?”

“She went home.”

“You’re angry at me,” she stated next with a whisper.

“I’m pissed at Janey for what happened last night.”

“But I was okay. I was safe enough,” she said quietly.

“I can’t do this. I can’t get attached to you and try to protect you from everything,” I said flicking my cigarette out the window.

“I’m not asking you to,” she said blinking back tears.

“I spend every fucking waking hour trying to watch out for her and keep her from complete destruction. I can’t…”

I shook my head and gave up.

“You need to go.”

I heard her gasp slightly and kept looking out the window, not wanting to see her face right now. I felt some sort of ache in my chest, and I fucking hated the sensation. This was exactly why I was doing it.

I heard her move from the bed and collect her things. My T-shirt ended up on the bed. She slipped her jeans back on and then she was gone. Just like that. She didn’t even slam the door on the way out.

Ava

I cried in anger, heartbroken that he had given up on me so quickly. We had been days into our one-month arrangement and it was already over. Walking away from him was hard, but I knew I wasn’t going to beg or argue. I was worth more than that for fuck’s sake.

In the early hours of the next morning, I received a text from Janey.

Janey: I’m so sorry

Ava: Don’t be sorry. I had fun for what it’s worth

Janey: I do things sometimes and I can’t control myself

Janey: I’ve ruined everything

Ava: I’m fine. You haven’t ruined anything

Janey: I really like you Ava

Ava: I like you too

Janey: I do crazy things and you’ll hate me for it eventually

Ava: Janey, I won’t hate you

Janey: I’m disappearing for a little while. See you Ava x

As I tried to get back to sleep, I knew I was completely alone again.

* * *

School was the same and I walked to my classes like a zombie, shut off from everyone. Halfway through the week, there was a new word on my locker—Burner! But I didn’t bat an eyelid. I knew who had done it, and I didn’t care. I’d rather be a so-called Burner then one of them any day.

My routine went back to going to school, coming home, and studying. I ignored the bitchiness at school, and I ignored the sickening relationship at home. I was in my own zone and wanted to stay there for a while to lick my wounds. I tried not to think of him. I tried not to long for him, but I did, regardless of my attempts.

I went shopping, bought sexy lingerie, changed my hair to an almost blue black and got them to put bright red streaks through it. I tried to make myself feel good, but it all just reminded me of how much I missed him.

I was still an innocent playing in an adult’s world.

Walking home one late afternoon, a 4WD pick up truck pulled up beside me and I turned to see Tyler. His tanned elbow was leaning out the window and he smiled hesitantly.

“Need a lift?”

My eyes narrowed.

“I thought you weren’t talking to me.”

He shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Ava. I was angry that you were with him.

“I wasn’t with him like that, he…”

“He told me the truth the other night. I got it out of him when he was blind drunk.”

“That he tried to rape me?”

Tyler frowned.

“Well, not that. He just said that he was drunk and thought you wanted him.”

I shook my head, hating that Antony would always be innocent in this whole situation. It irked me beyond belief. I looked at Tyler and decided to get in, because I had no one else to talk to, after all.

He drove back into the traffic.

“If it makes you feel any better, he’s been going through his own hell this week. Something to do with money that’s been stolen from his accounts, credit card fraud, and he’s had to change his phone number, because he kept getting obscene calls. Not to mention the damage to his car. He still thinks your friends did that one.”

I shook my head.

“They had nothing to do with it.”

“How do you know?”

“I was with them the night it happened, so it wasn’t them.”

“He’s had to get an extension on his assignments, because they were all lost when his computer died and erased everything. He’s been having a shit time of it.”

I looked out the window, hiding the secret curl of my lips. Zac had promised me that he would pay for what he did to me, and it made me glad that he had kept his word.

“So, are you still friends with them?” he asked next.

“I am.”

I wanted nothing more than to be back with them.

“Are you hungry? I was going to get some food before I head home.”

I hadn’t eaten anything since…well, I couldn’t remember.

“Okay.”

We went to a small but busy kebab shop and sat inside on a bench table along the wall. He wouldn’t let me pay for my food, and I had a nice time with him. We even managed to have a few laughs. He was funny and chilled out, and I soon relaxed around him again.

“You look different,” he commented, wiping his mouth with a paper napkin.

“The hair,” I said, covering my mouth as I chewed.

He shook his head.

“It’s something else,” he said looking me over.

I felt different and it was all because of Zac. Could he see that by looking at my face? Could he see that I had discovered a new world where I had played for a little while before I was thrown right back into my boring existence? Could he see my inability to reconcile a life without him? Could he see the thirst I had for some wild fun again? I returned with some light-hearted humor, covering my inner angst.

“It’s the bags under my eyes.”

“Your eyes are perfect,” he said looking away and concentrating on the people lining up to order as he sipped his coke.

I didn’t respond to that comment and sipped my own drink instead.

“So, you and Sophie are no more?”

“She believes Antony and has taken his side.”

“She was blind drunk on Saturday night. Don’t say anything, but I saw her hook up with both Antony and Nathan that night.”

“Really?”

He nodded and sipped his coke again. I thought about Janey and the guys she was with the other night. Why was Sophie even thinking about doing that with both of them? Did Zac do threesomes? I just knew he would have. I felt sick at the thought of girls enjoying his body and him enjoying their bodies.

“So, there is a party at Tim’s on Saturday night. Want to go with me?”

I fiddled with my straw, thinking of the emptiness of my nights now without Zac.

“Sure,” I said with a smile.

“It’s a costume party,” he warned.

I groaned.

“No thanks.”

“Come on,” he said. “It’ll be fun.”

“What are you going as?” I asked.

“Footballer.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Pulled out the big guns with that one, didn’t you?”

He laughed, and said, “Hey, I’ve got all the props. Why not use them? What about you?”

“I don’t have anything.”

“Something gothic, maybe?” he said smiling. “To go with your hair.”

My eyes narrowed and I thought of what I could do. I could go as a dark angel with black wings. It would definitely fit my mood. I smiled.

“Maybe.”

* * *

I didn’t hear from any of them and I missed them all terribly. I wondered if Zac had already moved on with another girl. I rang Janey a few times, but each one went to voicemail. I didn’t know if she was avoiding me from what happened the other night, or if it was because Zac had finished with me. Her silence hurt, too.

Tyler had called me a few times and we had talked at night. I knew he was trying to get close to me, and I thought he was a fantastic guy, but he wasn’t Zac.

On Saturday night, I dressed with care, taking my time with each part. I wore tight black leather pants that rested low on my hips, a black tight top that dipped low at my cleavage, and big black feathered wings that hung over my shoulders. I was a Dark Angel for the costume party, and I felt confident as I put on my heavy eyeliner and red lipstick. I looked gothic and sexy, and I knew this would be my first attempt at being back with my so-called friends at school. If they treated me badly, I would leave.

Tyler picked me up from home and introduced himself to my father and Sarah. Sarah fawned over him, making him feel at home, while my father was a little more refrained, but happy all the same.

They instantly liked him and waved the both of us off wanting me to have fun. Tyler was the perfect “meet the parents” guy, saying the right things and making an impact. I considered what their reaction would have been if I had brought Zac home, but it no longer mattered. It would never happen.

“You look really beautiful tonight,” he said in the car on the way to the party.

I looked down at my new high-heeled boots over my leather pants.

“Thanks.”

I glanced down at my sexy cleavage thanks to my new push-up bra and couldn’t stop looking pleased with myself. I was ready to party, and I felt good about myself for the first time in days.

As we walked into Tim’s party that night, Tyler took my hand in his, which spoke volumes to everybody from school. I didn’t shrug him off, not having the heart to hurt his feelings. I knew he was doing it for me.

He led me around the party and classmates greeted me for the first time in weeks, obviously forgetting their hurtful gossip and moving on. They were all excited to see me with Tyler, and I tried to avoid questions about our supposed relationship. As far as I was concerned, we were really good friends.

“Tyler and Ava,” announced Chad as he came over, dressed as a zombie.

He shook hands with Tyler.

“You kept that one quiet, dude.”

He looked me up and down and gave me a wink.

“Looking good, Ava.”

I wanted to roll my eyes at his comment but briefly smiled at him in response. They started to talk about football, and I switched off, watching them interact together. I silently highlighted all the differences between them and the other three guys I missed like hell. There was no comparison, because these were just boys who had yet to experience life.

I was soon drinking, trying to numb my discontent and intent on having a fun time. I drank whiskey straight and watched everyone dance around me, while Tyler took a couple of photos of me.

I posed for one up against him. My arm was wrapped around his neck and I was smiling. He uploaded it to Facebook and tagged me. I flirted with him, knowing that it was wrong, because I didn’t feel anything for him. But I needed my ego to be stroked, and I needed to see the desire in his eyes. Even though Zac had disarmed me, I wanted to know if I still had the power.

I saw Antony throughout the night, but he looked away from me, as did all his other footballer friends, still abiding by Zac’s threats. I saw Sophie a few times, but she kept her distance, which was fine with me.

We ended up outside on the back patio, sitting together as the group beside us shared a joint around. I gladly brought it to my lips, wanting to feel the numbness again. Tyler took a photo of me smoking a joint and he uploaded that, too. As I finished it off, I felt it lighten the constant ache in my chest, and I felt a little better. The buzz was nothing like the joints I had shared with Janey and the group, but it still helped.

I watched the joint burn to the end of my fingers and then flicked it into the grass. In the next moment, Tyler’s lips were on mine. Surprised at first, I started to kiss him back but felt nothing. His tongue played with mine, and it only annoyed me somehow.

He pulled me closer, getting into the kiss, and all I could think of was Zac and how I ached for him. I pulled back and he smiled at me, excitement in his eyes. I knew he would be good for me, always doing and saying the right things and being everything a girl could want. But he wasn’t Zac.

My phone rang and I got up to pull it out of my leather pants, stumbling a little as Tyler steadied me with a laugh. I looked down at the screen. Zac. Shit.

I looked at Tyler.

“I need to get this,” I said stepping away.

“I’ll get you another drink,” he said going back inside.

I watched him go inside and answered the phone.

“Hey.”

“Having fun?” asked Zac, his voice deep and…angry.

“Are you?” I returned flippantly.

“Nice wings,” he returned.

I looked around the backyard and then at the house. Where had he seen me? Was he here? My heart raced.

“Where are you?”

“Everywhere,” he replied.

“Stop playing games,” I whispered.

“You’re the one playing fucking games,” he said. “You think he can give you what you need?”

“I hate you right now,” I whispered furiously.

“He’s putting up photos of you every minute like a fucking village idiot.”

“Well, we just kissed,” I whispered abruptly.

I heard his sharp intake of breath, and then silence.

“And it was amazing,” I said gritting my teeth.

“Liar,” he returned calmly, his voice dark.

How did he know? How did he know that he had ruined me for anyone else?

“Tyler is a fucking idiot,” he growled. “What else did you do with him?”

“It’s not your concern anymore, is it? How many girls have you had this week to keep that bed warm?” I whispered furiously.

“Tell Tyler to get ready.”

“Why? Don’t you dare,” I whispered, looking around.

“I’m coming for him.”

“No! You finished it with me! It’s got nothing to do with you anymore.”

I watched Tyler come back out with two drinks.

“We’re done, Zac. Don’t hurt Tyler. He’s the only one who seems to actually care for me at the moment.”

“He’s trying to get into your fucking pants,” he snarled.

“And maybe I’m going to let him,” I said, ending the call abruptly.

“Everything okay?” asked Tyler, as he approached, passing me a drink.

“Yep, fine,” I said gulping the whiskey with a pretend smile.

Did he know where I was? Were the party details on Facebook? Shit.

“Was that your fighter friend?” he asked next.

I nodded and then suddenly put my cup down on the railing.

“You need to leave, Tyler. Right now.”

“What?” he asked in surprise.

“He’s coming here and you’re with me. You need to leave now,” I said dragging him to the back steps.

“Ava, I’m not running off. I can hold my own.”

“You can’t mess with him,” I said with fear in my eyes, knowing what his anger could do to guys.

“So, you’re still with him?”

“No, we had finished…but…I guess we have unfinished business,” I muttered.

“So, the kiss we just had…”

“Was wonderful, Tyler, but I just can’t go there right now with you.”

He frowned.

“I’m not scared of him. I know what he did to Antony’s face, but I can hold my own. I’m not staying away from you.”

“Tyler, please!” I begged.

“I’m not running off,” he said, obviously hurt over the way the night had turned out. “Go out and wait for him. I’ll see you at school.”

“I’m sorry, Tyler,” I murmured.

“Just get whatever you need out of your system, Ava. But I won’t wait forever.”

I smiled at his charm, thinking how he was perfect, but just not for me. I quickly kissed him on the cheek and then headed back inside. I pushed my way through the party, past nurses, vampires, and fairies. Then I quickly opened the front door.

Zac

The car came to a skidding stop and I jumped out, fury burning inside me. I knew what I was doing didn’t make any sense, because I had asked her to leave. But the sight of her moving on and possibly giving some other lucky bastard her perfection made me crazy.

The door opened and she came running out in her leather and wings. I had to take a sharp intake of breath.

“No!” she shouted coming towards me, looking like my every angry fantasy. Fuck me. What the hell had I done by pushing her away?

“Don’t touch him. He’s done nothing wrong!” she pleaded to me as she came to a stop in front of me.

I glared at her in anger and lust and wanted to lose myself in her. She was breathing heavy and her chest was moving up and down with each breath, taunting me.

“You can’t do this!” she said angrily. “You told me a week ago it was over! What am I expected to do?”

I continued to glare at her, my eyes eating her up, not knowing whether to grab her and make her mine or go in and pummel Tyler for touching what was mine.

She was mine for fuck’s sake and I no longer cared about my own dumb rules.

“You can’t hurt him, Zac. He’s been so nice to me,” she said emotionally, shoving at my chest angrily. “If you can’t be with me, I have to get over you!”

I didn’t want her to be over me. I wanted her to be with me, under me, wanting and knowing that I was the only one for her.

“I hate you for doing this!” she whispered angrily. “You can’t have it both ways, Zac!”

My hand suddenly went into her hair and I pulled her against me, kissing her like my life depended on it. I heard her whimper and felt her fist against my chest, before she gave in and kissed me back.

I devoured her as her body melted into me, her tongue hot in my mouth. Our mouths collided in a frenzy as I pulled her body hard against me, her hands moving around to my neck and her fingers entangling into my hair. I kissed her hard, wanting to brand her, wanting her to forget anyone else’s lips.

She pulled back from me slightly, breathing heavy and looked up at me with her fucking beautiful eyes. I felt the familiar ache in my chest and knew I couldn’t let her go. I pressed my thumb over her lips and swallowed some much needed air, trying to get some control back.

I looked down at her body against mine, taking in the wings and her fucking sexy boots.

“Angel of Death,” I said huskily as I looked her over in total appreciation. “Could you get any fucking hotter?”

She glowed from my words, and I suddenly wanted her away from here, in my bed, under me.

“Come with me,” I demanded huskily. “Away from your little costume party.”

“Give me one good reason why,” she whispered, emotion in her eyes.

She was still angry at me, and I saw the hurt deep in her eyes as she took a step back. I wouldn’t let her go, not now.

“Because I fucking want you, okay, Ava,” I whispered hoarsely, the words coming from deep within. “And you make me crazy. I want to make you crazy so we can be fucking crazy together.”

Her eyes twinkled and she hid a smile.

“Good, that’s all you had to say,” she said as she moved past me and headed towards my car.

I was well and truly fucked as I watched her perfect ass in her tight leather pants. I imagined her naked in just her boots and wings and I was instantly hard, burning up for her. I’d keep her in my bed for the next three weeks and get her out of my system, because she was just too dangerous for my sanity.

Chapter Twelve: Bad Girl

Ava

I climbed out of the car, my wings still on and giggled as Zac pulled me against him and squeezed my bottom with both hands. Noah and Will were finishing beers at the bottom of the steps and watching us.

“Beautiful Ava!” grinned Will, “as the Angel of Death.”

Noah chuckled.

“Well, Slayer is one of his favorite bands.”

“Loving the photos on Facebook, by the way,” said Will with a chuckle. “Pretty boy really likes you.”

I cringed.

“I didn’t realize he was putting every photo up. I need to untag myself.”

“Give Zac a couple of minutes, and they’ll be deleted forever,” chuckled Noah eyeing Zac.

Zac eyed him back with a silent conversation between the two of them.

“Well, taxi will be here any minute,” said Noah, feeling for his phone and wallet and looking to Will.

“See you, fucker,” grinned Will walking past us, “and beautiful Ava, the dark angel. You sure you don’t want to come out with us?”

Noah laughed and said, “No, they don’t. Let’s go.”

As they disappeared up the driveway, Zac leaned me against his car and inched towards my lips, putting his hand behind my head and giving me a kiss that almost bruised as he took what he wanted. I pulled back slightly and then bit his bottom lip in retaliation. His eyes sparked with excitement, mirroring my own, and I smiled with satisfaction.

Tonight had changed us. He had admitted that he wanted me and whether it was from missing me or adding Tyler into the equation, there was an added intensity between us. I no longer cared about anything except having him in the most primal, basic way.

He kissed down to my neck and then to my ear and I giggled softly at the tickling sensation, flush with excitement.

“Let’s get you inside,” he growled into my ear.

I closed my eyes for a moment enjoying the bites and licks against my neck and shoulder. Desire shot through me and I held onto the hood of the car to stay upright. He pushed his arousal against me.

“You’re all mine,” he breathed.

I leaned back against the car, my skin on fire as my head fell back. He gently pushed me down onto the hood of the car. His hands went to my thighs and gripped them as he slid me to him, my legs going around his hips. He looked down at me with glazed eyes, looking over me like he was savoring the sight. His hand gently ran down my thigh and then moved over to my bare stomach making a path further down. He rubbed over my core and I groaned. My back arched at his touch.

“I want you, Zac,” I half-whispered, half-groaned.

He watched me as he ran his hands over my body.

“Where did he kiss you tonight?”

I was in such a lust-fuelled haze that I didn’t know what he meant at first. My back arched again as his hands went under my top, feeling my black silk lingerie.

“Tell me where he touched you,” he said huskily, anger underlying in his tone.

“Nowhere,” I gasped as his hands continued to send sparks of pleasure all over me.

“Tell me,” he demanded in a whisper.

“He didn’t touch me,” I gasped as his fingers grazed my nipple. “He just kissed me,” I said softly, squealing as he rubbed both hands over my breasts.

The silk fabric slid back and forth over my nipples making them taut and tingly.

“I felt nothing,” I moaned. “It only made me want you more.”

He leaned over and sucked on one through the silk.

I didn’t know if he was happy with my answer, but he pulled me up and kissed me hard. He pulled me against him like he couldn’t get enough. I felt the tension and desire emanating off him and it warmed me through my entire body.

I ran my hands over his chest and then went under his T-shirt, feeling the manliness of his toned skin as I hungrily kissed him back. I slid my mouth down his neck and gently nipped him to get him back. I heard his sharp intake of breath.

“You’re jealous,” I whispered with a smile as I licked the area.

I felt power and excitement shoot through me.

“Do that again and I’ll show you how much,” he panted, his hands pulling me and then cupping my bottom.

I giggled softly as he lifted me up and carried me up the steps with my legs wrapped around him tightly.

“Are you going to delete his photos?” I asked as he opened the door while still holding me.

“I’ll let him keep one, for a reminder of what he can’t have,” he said walking into the unit and slamming the door closed.

He then pushed me up against it and kissed my lips hard.

“Can we stop talking about pretty boy now?”

“Who?” I smiled knowingly as I leaned in and sucked on his bottom lip.

He carried me across the unit, not breaking our searing kiss as he walked into his bedroom and kicked the door closed behind him. He cupped my cheek, kissing me hungrily, like he couldn’t get enough of me. We kissed like that for a while, his hands caressing me all over, and then he slowly put me down on shaky legs.

I kept my arms around him and looked into his eyes. I felt a little scared, but really turned on.

“You sure?” he whispered, looking deep into my eyes for confirmation.

I nodded and he leaned in and kissed my lips softly.

I tried not to think about it. About how I might do something wrong or how I might not be any good at it.

“What if I’m…not any good?” I blurted out softly.

He looked at me in bewilderment for a moment and then smiled.

“Ava,” he said kissing me again.

“What?” I said kissing him back. “It’s just…”

He silenced me with his mouth, kissing me and teasing my tongue.

“Stop thinking,” he said against my lips.

I closed my eyes as he nuzzled down my neck, his arms holding me tight against him. He slowly pulled my wings off and then lifted my top and pulled it off me. He only broke his kiss for a split second.

His hand roamed over my lingerie, caressing me with a steady hand. He kissed his way down over my breasts and down to my stomach. My boots were next as he slowly unzipped them and pulled them off.

My pants were pulled down and off and then he kissed his way back up my body, reaching my face again.

“Beautiful,” he emitted huskily.

My cheeks flushed with pleasure and my body tingled more when I could see the burning desire in his eyes. He kissed me on the lips again, and I pulled his T-shirt up, feeling his amazing flat stomach and rippled chest.

He yanked it off and threw it somewhere on the floor, undoing his jeans at the same time. He shoved them off and I leaned in to kiss his shoulder and chest. I ran my hands over him and his glorious tattoos.

He picked me up and then gently placed me down on his bed and followed me, leaning over and kissing me hungrily. I wrapped my leg around the back of his leg, no longer caring about anything other than having him.

He was touching my body again, kissing me as he undid my bra and he slowly pulled it off. I groaned as he kissed my breasts, his licking and sucking making me feel like I was on fire.

His hand moved over my matching sexy silk underwear and then he gently stroked my skin. I whimpered softly at the feel of his fingers inside me, and bit my lip as the pleasure washed over me.

I didn’t want to wait anymore, so I leaned up and took his face and kissed him passionately. He met the challenge, kissing me back as he leaned over to grab a condom.

He entered me slowly at first, and I looked into his eyes for reassurance, feeling him fill me. He kissed me, sucking on my bottom lip. Then his eyes burned into mine as he broke past the barrier with a gentle thrust.

I clenched for a moment, grimacing with the sharp pain as he stilled, watching me closely. The pain stopped as quick as it had come, and I kissed his mouth. Without words, I told him what I wanted. He pushed in further, breathing heavy as if he was using all of his self-control to restrain himself.

It felt different, but good, and I gave him a little smile as he completely filled me, and I stretched to accommodate him. His mouth was slightly curved and then he kissed me, slowly moving rhythmically inside me.

His slow thrusts felt intense and wonderful as he increased the pace, looking into my eyes the entire time. I felt the pressure increase inside me, and I wanted release. It felt incredible as I held onto him, being this close with him, and feeling the power in him.

He kissed me again, travelling down my neck and then to my breasts as he continued to thrust inside me. I arched my back in pleasure, and closed my eyes in ecstasy. I lifted my legs up high and wrapped them around him. I gasped as he went deeper, deliciously moving in and out.

A wave of pleasure made my toes curl and I panted his name. It was steadily increasing, along with his pace. I was suddenly eager but nervous of the eruption that was about to take place within me. I said his name again, holding onto him tightly.

He looked into my eyes, riding the wave with me, taking me the whole way until it hit me, and I cried out, my body exploding into a million pieces of pleasure. He groaned his release, the tendons straining in his neck as it shattered through him. He put his face into my neck, trying to right his world that had been blown apart.

I delicately ran my hands over his back, touching his warm skin with my eyes closed. I still felt the aftershocks of pleasure. I felt alive and decadent after the incredible experience. My first time had been wonderful, and it was all because of him.

“Wow!” I breathed softly opening my eyes.

He kissed my neck and pulled back to look at me. It was like he was learning every inch of skin on my face. Then he gazed intently into my eyes and paused for a moment. He looked like he was trying to come to terms with what had just happened between us.

I touched his face with the tip of my fingers, his cheek, and then traced his lips. I felt his facial hair, spiky under my sensitive fingers.

His mouth curved into a smile and my heart thudded. He was so striking when he smiled. He leaned in to kiss my lips softly. Then he slowly pulled out of me, landing beside me on the bed. He looked up at the ceiling and let out a deep, satisfied sigh.

I curled up to him and snuggled his chest.

“When can we do that again?”

He chuckled and looked to see if I was serious.

Realizing I was, he said, “Give me two minutes.”

* * *

The next morning, I awoke curled into Zac with his arm over me as he slept. Last night had been perfect and he had awoken a need in me that I could never see being sated. He knew my body and its needs intricately. We had reached for each other another two times during the night before we both fell into an exhausted sleep.

I had finally lost it, in the most perfect way.

I wanted to wake him now but knew he needed his sleep. I had to get home before my father started asking questions, so I slowly climbed out from under his arm and quickly got dressed. I picked up my black angel wings and placed them next to him on the bed so they would be the first thing he saw when he woke up.

Carrying my boots, I went to the door and looked back at him once more. He was delicious. I snuck out and quickly made my way past Noah’s closed door and then outside. I went down the stairs in my bare feet and then sat on the end one and put my boots on. I headed home, knowing if anyone saw me walking home this early, they would know exactly what I had been up to. Let them. I was being bad and it felt really, really good.

* * *

As Sunday turned to night, I did my homework and then spent some time on Facebook. I laughed at the one photo from last night with Tyler, knowing Zac had removed the others. I had still been a virgin then, oblivious to what I was missing out on. I was different now. I was a woman.

I clicked on Zac’s profile, not expecting it to be any different, but then I noticed that his cover photo had changed. The tattoo had been replaced with a black screen, and as I looked closer, I made out the feathers and squealed softly to myself in happiness.

A section of my wings were now his cover photo and I couldn’t stop smiling. He had a part of me on his profile, and it spoke volumes to me. Life, right at this moment, couldn’t be better.

An online message popped up on the screen. Tyler.

Tyler: Hi

Ava: Hey, sorry about running out on you last night

Tyler: Have you spoken to Sophie?

Ava: No why?

Tyler: You need to

Ava: Why?

Tyler: Just go and talk to her

Ava: Okay, I’ll try but if she still hates me I’ll tell you I told you so.

I picked up my phone and pressed her name.

“Hello,” said a gravelly voice.

“Soph? It’s Ava.”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said with a sniff.

“Is everything okay?”

“Fine,” she snapped ending the call.

I shook my head. I could still see Tyler was online, so I typed a response.

Ava: Still hates me. Doesn’t want to talk. I tried

He came back with: Try harder

I frowned and then saw his name flash to offline. What was going on?

My phone rang and I jumped. Zac’s name appeared and suddenly everything else was forgotten.

“Hi,” I said warmly.

“What was with the disappearing act this morning?” he asked.

I smiled.

“I just thought you needed the sleep.”

“Well, thanks for your concern. I’m now well rested,” he said drily.

I giggled.

“That’s good to hear.”

“Come over,” he said huskily.

“Missing me already?” I asked.

“Get that gorgeous ass over here and I’ll show you how much.”

I grinned and closed my eyes in excitement.

“Bring some clothes, too,” he added.

“Why?”

“Because once I have you, I’m not letting you go for the next couple of days,” he said. “I’ll tie you to the bed if I have to.”

“But I have school,” I protested.

“Don’t go. You said yourself, you wanted to be a bad girl.”

I grinned, thinking it over for a millisecond.

“I’ll be over soon.”

I arrived at Noah’s an hour later, after a rushed dinner with my father and Sarah, who seemed hell-bent on asking me questions about Tyler.

Noah let me in and smiled at me.

“He’s out getting stuff. Come in,” he said, leaving the door open for me.

I walked in and closed it behind me, going over to Zac’s room and dropping my bag on the floor. I happily noticed my wings were still on his bed. I then went into the kitchen area where Noah was making a sandwich with at least ten layers of ham and cheese.

“Want one?” he asked before putting the butter back in the fridge.

I shook my head.

“I’ve eaten already.”

I sat up on the kitchen counter and watched him try and take a bite of the huge sandwich.

“So, you and Zac have the same tattoo symbol on your arm,” I stated.

He looked down at his arm.

“It’s a member’s thing, for an underground fight club.”

“Oh, do you still fight?” I asked, hating the thought of Zac getting hurt.

“Haven’t for a while. We used to do it all the time and the money was good. We were both undefeated for a record amount of time, but we refused to fight each other. It was just a way of releasing our anger, getting cash and lots of girls.”

“So you’ve been best friends for a long time?” I asked.

“For as long as I can remember. He’s always been around for me, especially when I ruined the family’s expectations by not going to university.”

I watched him open a sports drink and take a swig.

“So now my brother is happily fulfilling all of our family’s expectations,” he sneered.

“So does he live in the house with them?” I asked.

“Nope,” he said taking another large bite of the sandwich. “He’s got an apartment in the city, while I’m above the garage.”

I sent him a brief smile.

“Well, I love your place.”

“Totally a state of the art design,” he mocked.

I laughed.

“It’s perfect.”

He went back to his sandwich.

“So, does Zac live here permanently with you?”

“He’s got a place he shares with Janey, but she’s too much of a pain in the ass most of the time, so he stays here.”

“So what stuff is he getting?”

“Supplies, of the cigarette and alcohol variety,” he said taking another big bite.

“So, who buys the bread and milk?”

“Mum,” he said with his mouth full.

I laughed.

“And the drugs?”

“That’s a combined effort from all of us, but usually Will,” he grinned.

I grinned, too.

“You do realize you have over fifty slices of ham in that sandwich,” I giggled.

“I’m starving.”

“It’s huge,” I laughed.

He winked.

“That’s what all the girls say,” he said before taking another large bite.

I laughed heartily and heard the door open as Zac walked in carrying a case of beer on his shoulder. He looked over and saw me laughing with Noah and his eyes narrowed slightly as he headed over. He placed the beer down on the counter beside me and looked from me to Noah and then back at me.

“Hey, fuckers,” said Will coming in holding a case on his shoulder as well.

“And beautiful Ava,” he winked putting the case of beer down on the floor in the kitchen.

“Hey, Will,” I smiled, looking back at Zac.

“There’s another two in the car,” said Will walking back out.

“I’ve got it,” said Noah eyeing Zac and then following him out.

He looked at me without a word, and I swallowed hard as he stepped in between my legs. He cupped my cheek and looked at me closely. My cheeks warmed at the potency of him and the hunger in his gaze.

He pulled me towards him and kissed me, teasing my lips softly as I melted at our connection, only wanting more. My body was already on fire and he had only been in the room for less than a minute.

His tongue met mine and I put my arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him tighter against me. His other hand stroked my back under my T-shirt, and I felt on fire, my body needing more.

Will and Noah stepped back in carrying the cases and talking about something. Zac pulled back a little and looked into my eyes with an amused smile. I caught my breath and touched his forehead with mine.

“Later,” he murmured with meaning.

Zac

I watched her laugh with Noah and Will that night as we all sprawled around on the couch smoking joints after dinner and felt slightly…content. I didn’t miss the glances she gave me when she thought I wasn’t looking, or how her eyes twinkled when I smirked at her. I wanted her. I needed to be inside her again, where I could pretend for a moment that my life was fucking perfect.

She laughed at something on the television and squeezed my thigh, the touch sending me into overdrive. I wanted those hands on my skin, tracing my tattoos, which she seemed to love doing.

Noah sat across from us and watched what I had sent him on his phone, and then he looked over at me. I had found a new sex tape today, on behalf of Antony, and I didn’t know whether to tell Ava or not, because it starred her friend, Sophie. This one went for longer than any of the others previously had, and both of them played a part in the video along with a third friend. They were having their fun with her and if it got into the wrong hands, her friend would be ruined.

When Ava went to use the bathroom, Noah shook his head.

“That’s his longest yet; she’s totally out of it.

You have to tell Ava. She would want to warn her friend,” he said passing the phone to Will who wanted to see.

I got up from the couch.

“Later,” I said, heading into my bedroom and closing the door behind me.

Ava came out of my bathroom looking surprised to see me at first, and then she smiled at me. I’d had enough of sharing her for the night. She was mine, and I wanted her all to myself. I strode over to her and kissed her instantly like I had been starved for her affection.

She laughed as my hands went under her top, pulling it up as I fondled her.

“Stop, they’ll think we’re having sex in here,” she whispered.

“That’s exactly what we’re doing,” I said against her mouth, continuing to fondle her breasts as I pulled the cups down.

“Zac!” she whispered and gasped at the same time. “I don’t want them to think we’re just doing it while they’re sitting in there drinking.”

“I don’t give a fuck what they think,” I said pulling her top up and then over her head, flinging it somewhere.

“And neither should you.”

“What if they hear me?” she asked.

I kissed her neck while thinking how fucking adorable she was.

“You’ll have to scream silently.”

“What if they walk in on us?”

I undid her jeans, still smiling.

“They’re not coming in here.”

She put her hand on my cock and felt the hardness under my jeans.

“I want to try a different position tonight,” she whispered tentatively.

“Whatever you want, beautiful. Your wish is my command,” I said, already harder.

I’d teach her every position there was if that’s what she wanted.

She turned in my arms and pushed her bottom against me as her arm went up behind my neck. I tried to remember to breathe as my hand went into her jeans and she softly moaned.

“You want me to take you from behind?” I whispered against her neck as I felt her wetness.

“Yes,” she moaned softly, rubbing herself against me. “Hard.”

I swallowed, wondering if I had imagined her saying that one hot word.

“Say it. Tell me what you want,” I whispered into her ear.

She closed her eyes as she leaned back into me, her cheeks flushed.

“I want you to fuck me hard.”

It was the hottest thing that I had heard from her sweet lips and it rocked through me and made me nearly explode. I pulled her jeans down and she kicked them away before I grabbed her and kissed down her spine.

I moved her over to the bed where she climbed over it, her ass in the air for my own private viewing. Had I seen anything hotter than that? No, I seriously hadn’t.

I shucked my jeans off in record time and rolled a condom on, knowing this was going to go hard and fast, because I was already so worked up. I kissed her back, pushing her hair to one side so I could kiss her neck as I felt if she was ready for me.

I heard her pant under me, and I thrust into her, making her gasp in pleasure. I pulled out and did it again, and her body shuddered under me. She was so responsive to me, and it was going to be my quickest on record if we kept going like this. I tried to think of something other than my dark angel beneath me.

“Fuck me,” she begged in a whisper.

Her verbal demands made me unable to think of anything else than that. I thrusted into her, over and over as I grabbed her hips to keep her in place. I went harder, my hand going under her, bringing her to orgasm as I felt her climax around me. She pressed her face into the pillow in an attempt to drown out her groans, her fists tangled in my sheets.

I let my own orgasm claim me and I groaned long and hard as I emptied myself into her. I felt completely shattered. I gently collapsed onto her, feeling her warm skin under me as I kissed her neck. Aftershocks still travelled through me.

She rolled out from under me and I moved onto the bed beside her. My eyes were still closed in agony and ecstasy. Her hand clamped over my mouth and I opened my eyes.

She looked worried, sexy, and thoroughly fucking pleasured.

“You were too loud!” she whispered.

I chuckled and closed my eyes. I didn’t care if I was too loud. Let them hear me and know how fucking lucky I was to have my beautiful dark angel.

Ava

I awoke to the sound of his phone, knowing it was Janey’s ringtone before I opened my eyes. He swore next to me and sat up, trying to find his phone. I jumped up and grabbed his jeans from the floor. While passing him his phone, I saw that it was 2:00 a.m.

I listened to him answer it with a curt tone, the phone providing the only light in the darkened room.

“Where?” he asked suddenly, pulling away from me. “Just get out of there and wait for me. I’m coming right now. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he said already out of the bed and starting to pull his jeans on.

I got out, too, and started to dress as he looked at me.

“I’ve got to go.”

“What’s happened?” I asked.

“I’ll be back later. I just need to go,” he said quickly putting his shoes on and grabbing his wallet and car keys. He slid his phone into his pocket.

“I’ll come with you,” I said, following him to the bedroom door.

He turned back to me.

“For fuck’s sake, Ava, no way. I can’t protect the both of you. Go back to bed.”

I must have looked shocked at his outburst and I almost wondered if this was all a dream as I watched him stride out of the bedroom door. I heard him swear again and then he turned back to me.

“Come on then, let’s go.”

I ran after him, out of the unit and down the stairs as his car flashed unlocked. As soon as I closed my car door, he was skidding in reverse up the driveway.

“Put your belt on,” he demanded as the car came to a sudden halt on the road, and then the wheels squealed as he sped off.

I gripped my seat and watched the streets flash by. He was changing gears like a race car driver and turning corners on two wheels. He was furious at whatever situation he was driving to and obviously because I had come with him.

He went through two amber lights, and I braced myself for impact as he overtook a slow car. We came to a busy intersection, and he was forced to stop at an already red light. He revved the engine, waiting for the light to turn green.

“Is she okay?” I asked quietly.

“No,” he said, plugging his phone into the dashboard. The screen lit up, and he pressed a couple of buttons. A map appeared.

“She never fucking is,” he said, accelerating off as the light turned green.

I swallowed and gripped the door. I looked at the screen and saw a marker on the map, which was moving slightly.

“Is that where we’re going?”

“That’s Janey’s phone,” he said, braking hard and then overtaking onto the wrong side of the road.

I closed my eyes.

He was changing gears again and then slowing down. I heard a soft beeping noise. I opened my eyes and saw that he was driving normally. I turned to him.

“Police,” he announced, driving past them.

“You get a warning?” I asked, as he started to speed up again.

He gave a tormented smile.

“There are some advantages to what I do.”

I looked at the map again.

“So is Janey in trouble?”

He turned a corner sharply and sped down a residential street.

“Yep,” he said turning another corner.

We pulled up at a house that seemed to have a party going on inside. He took the keys out and passed them to me.

“Stay in here,” he demanded. “Do not step foot outside this car.”

I took the keys.

“Promise me.”

“I promise,” I said.

“Lock the car when I get out,” he said opening the door and jumping out.

I locked it and watched him stride into the party.

It wasn’t long before he was leading Janey out of the party and towards the car. She was only in her bra and short skirt with her top scrunched into her hand as she walked across the lawn with bare feet with Zac holding her arm. Her makeup was smudged all over her face, and her hair was a tangled mess. She looked terrible.

I quickly unlocked the car and he got her into the back seat, slamming the door closed. He was then back in the driver’s seat and taking the keys from me and starting the engine. I looked at his hand and saw that it had blood on it. I cringed. What had happened? What did he have to do to get her out?

There was silence in the car as he sped off. He turned the screen off and concentrated on driving. I didn’t know whether to turn around and speak to Janey or not, because she hadn’t made a sound since she had been put in the car.

I looked at Zac and he glanced at me. He gave a slight shake of his head, so I turned to look out the window instead. I wondered what the hell was going on.

We were soon pulling up at a townhouse and parking in the driveway. Zac got out and I didn’t know whether to stay in the car again.

He pulled Janey out and I watched them walk past the car. An automatic porch light turned on, letting me see Janey properly. I took a sharp breath at the sight of her, her eyes unseeing, like I was looking at a vacant and dazed stranger.

He unlocked the front door and then took her inside, leaving the door open and motioning for me to come in. I jumped out and followed them inside, looking around at the large living area and the kitchen over to the right. Zac and Janey disappeared upstairs, and I waited for them as I took in a packet of Zac’s cigarettes on the coffee table and his hoodie hanging over one of the kitchen chairs. It was obviously their place, and as I heard water running, I imagined Janey was having a shower.

I sat down on the couch and took a deep breath, slowly exhaling it out. I had seen another side of Zac’s life that I had no idea about, and I could clearly see that there was something wrong with Janey. I knew he had tried to warn me that night all those weeks ago, telling me that she lived in a different world than me, and now I believed him.

He seemed to be Janey’s knight in shining armor, too. He was managing the only way he knew how, and my heart went out to him.

Zac

I found her in the kitchen later, sipping a coffee and smoking a cigarette. She wordlessly passed me her coffee and I took a sip.

“Smoking kills, you know,” I said with amusement.

She smiled and exhaled a stream of smoke.

“It’s all part of the bad girl program I’m on”.

I smiled and felt the strain of the last hour start to fall away from my shoulders. Janey at her worst was usually a force to be reckoned with but tonight she had been different, completely shut down. She was on a downward spiral again and I knew she needed proper help.

I focused on the beautiful girl in front of me. I could see that she had questions, but she wasn’t asking them and I was grateful for it. I didn’t even want to try and explain the complex world of Janey tonight.

I leaned in to her, capturing her lips softly with mine. I needed to lose myself in perfection for a while so I could pretend that everything was okay.

Chapter Thirteen: Temporary

Ava

We talked while we watched the sun rise from his bedroom that morning and with every word, every stroke, I fell for him just a little more.

“How many boys have you kissed?”

I blushed.

“Why? Am I terrible kisser?”

“No,” he said kissing me before adding, “I just want to know. There’s some things I can’t find when I hack into people’s lives.”

I pulled back.

“You hacked into my life?”

He gave a slight shrug.

“Maybe a little.”

“What did you find?” I asked in a panic.

He laughed.

“Relax, you’re probably the cleanest person I know. I didn’t find out much.”

“Oh,” I said, lowering my eyes. “I guess clean means boring.”

“I wouldn’t describe you as boring,” he said kissing my neck. “I’ve had a constant hard-on, since the night I met you,” he murmured against my neck. “You’re a pretty fucking perfect package, if you ask me.”

I glowed from his words, my senses reeling as I leaned back and let him continue to kiss my neck. Then the self doubt crept in and the realization that this was all temporary.

“If only that was true,” I whispered to myself with my eyes now closed.

His lips stopped kissing me and he pulled away slightly.

“All those horny douches around you want in, Ava. That first night at the party, they were all eyeing you over with their tongues hanging out. You’re beautiful.”

I looked away from his piercing eyes, truly not believing him. If I was such a perfect package then he would want to keep me forever.

“I know it, everyone knows it. That’s why I tried to stay away. You deserve only the best, not some bottom feeder like me.”

“Don’t say that,” I said emotionally.

“But it doesn’t matter. You’re mine for the month, and then you can go and find your perfect boyfriend,” he said kissing me again. “And get what you deserve.”

The thought sent pain into my heart, and I shut my eyes tight to stop myself from doing something crazy like telling him I wanted more.

“So how many guys have you kissed?” he asked again.

“I’ve kissed two, well, three now with Tyler.”

“Pretty boy,” he said against my lips. “The one who wants in the most.”

I kissed him, not wanting to even think about Tyler.

He looked at me again with his piercing eyes. “Why don’t you speak about your mother?”

I paused at his question, nowhere near expecting it. Then I pulled back. He watched my reaction, his eyes narrowing as he waited.

“She disappeared five years ago.”

“As in…a missing person or disappeared from your life and moved on?” he asked next.

“I don’t know. I was never allowed to talk about it. My father was furious for years and would lose it if I ever mentioned her. I was always told to keep quiet about it all. She didn’t want to be with us, and I had to accept that.”

“You never tried to search for her?”

“I did, but she left with nothing. No phone, no driver’s license or bank cards. I had nothing to find her with. After the first year, the police kind of gave up, and so did my father. He always said that she had these foolish dreams of going to Paris. He suspects that she disappeared over there. It’s one place that I have always wanted to go, just in case it made me closer to her somehow.”

His eyes narrowed once more and he was about to say something else when I kissed him hungrily, wanting to stop the conversation. It hurt to talk about it, and I couldn’t deal with any more questions. She had left an empty chasm in my heart, and it would never heal.

He kissed me back, leaving the conversation alone as his hand slowly made its way over my breast. I leaned in closer to him, needing more.

“Did any of those douches get to second or third base when they kissed you?” he asked.

“No,” I gasped as he tweaked my nipple with his fingers.

“So this body is mine, every first touch, and every bit of pleasure belongs to me,” he breathed into my mouth.

“For three more weeks,” I whispered, trying to pretend that the idea was okay when it wasn’t. I couldn’t fathom how my life would be without him in it and a deep sadness and anxiety settled in my chest.

* * *

I awoke alone, hours later and took the opportunity to sit up in his bed and look around the room. He had a laptop set up on a desk against one wall and a bookshelf against the other with a stack of CDs. Posters of bands were up on the wall and clothes were piled up on a chair near the window. It was a typical guy’s room, and I wondered if he brought girls back here like he did at Noah’s.

My phone had been placed on the pillow next to me and I opened it to find a note from him.

Zac: Had to work – text me when you wake up

I knew he kept all sorts of weird hours with his hacking and couldn’t imagine being able to focus without any proper sleep. I had to wonder where he worked, seeming that his laptop was still here at his desk.

After a shower and putting on one of his T-shirts, I walked back into the room to find Janey sitting on the bed. She looked like the Janey I knew and grinned at me like last night had just been a bad dream.

“Hey babe,” she said with a smile.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, sitting down next to her on the bed.

“I’m cool,” she said with a quick smile.

I returned her smile, a little unsure of what to say next.

“He never has girls over here,” she said, nudging me playfully with her shoulder.

“Really?” I asked with unmasked delight.

“You’re breaking every one of his rules,” she grinned.

“I like your brother so much more than anyone realizes,” I said next.

“We can all see that”.

“The thought of finishing whatever is going on between us in a month, hurts like hell.”

“I did warn you,” she said putting her arm around me.

“I know,” I said in resignation.

My phone beeped and I grabbed it to see an invitation via Facebook for a school friend’s birthday party on Saturday night.

“Back to being popular again at school?” she asked with a wink.

“Well the word BITCH was replaced by BURNER and both have finally been scrubbed from my locker. Maybe if I go Saturday night, it will put a stop to things being thrown at my head and all the bitchy comments.”

“Didn’t Zac warn them to leave you alone?”

“The football team has,” I returned. “To them, I don’t even exist. It’s everyone else.”

Zac

I leaned against the wall just outside the bedroom door and closed my eyes. I hated that anyone had dared to torment her at school. I hated that this was my fault, and that she was still suffering from my actions.

She was getting too close, wanting more than the three weeks we had left. I could never give her what she wanted.

I listened to them laugh, and a part of me liked it that Janey seemed happy when she was with Ava. The other part of me was shit scared of the fall out when it was time for her to go. Admitting that she liked me in a way that reeked of commitment and care made me question what we were doing right now. I had jumped into this fully aware of the threat of her wanting more from me, but I hadn’t been thinking with my brain for the last couple of days.

It was inevitable that I was going to hurt her when it came to an end. Part of me considered if I needed to end it earlier. I had experienced perfection now, and she would always be my every fantasy. But maybe it was time to call an end before she invested any more time and interest in me. Or, maybe it was time to end it before I lost my fucking head in the clouds and questioned everything. In such a small amount of time, she had become a part of me and my survival instinct was to deflect and destroy.

I needed to ruin Antony.

I needed to distance myself from her for good and put an end to her torment.

My mind raced with possibilities.

* * *

Ava

As I turned the alarm off on my phone the next morning, Zac groaned at the interruption and stuck a pillow over his head. I regretfully got out of bed, knowing that another unexplained absence from school would get my father called. I got dressed quickly and grabbed my things, planning on going home first to shower and get into my uniform.

“Take my car,” he mumbled from under the pillow.

“Are you serious?”

“Bring it back in one piece.”

I smiled at the idea of borrowing his car like he was a real boyfriend. I quickly leaned over the bed and kissed his shoulder.

“See you later on this afternoon then.”

He mumbled something incoherently, and I walked out, leaving him to sleep.

His car sat outside, dark, sleek and powerful, just like its owner. I was positive that at full speed, it was quite untouchable, just like him.

* * *

It didn’t take long for me to know something was wrong when I got to school. Something big was being gossiped about, and for a change, it wasn’t about me. In no time, I was being shown a video, a horrible despicable video of my obviously drugged friend with Antony and Nathan.

I watched Antony laugh into the camera and then walk over to a bed, touching Sophie who was sitting and waiting for him. Her actions were slow like she had been drugged as he got her to touch him, and then they started to get onto the bed.

Another person entered the screen, and I could see it was Nathan. I wanted to be sick, as fury riled up in me. Surely, she hadn’t known that there was a camera. I watched as she started to satisfy one with her mouth while looking directly into the camera with a vacant look.

I collected my things and left school behind to go and find her, knowing she would need me. Tears welled up in my eyes as I drove towards her house. I knew she must have been going through hell these last couple of days while I was too busy being happy with Zac. I was livid as I made my way to her house, thinking that Antony and Nathan were completely evil assholes.

I bypassed her housekeeper at the front door and took the stairs two at a time. I quickly opened her bedroom door and saw her sitting on the floor against her bed, hugging her knees.

“Go away,” she said not looking up at me.

She looked pale and emotionally distraught as I crouched in front of her and touched her arm. She pushed me away.

“I know what happened,” I said next. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Because I’m not talking to you, am I?”

“Soph, for the last fucking time, I wasn’t with that revolting asshole by choice, he tried to rape me.”

“Just go away,” she mumbled, tears in her eyes.

“Did you agree to do it?” I whispered.

“I didn’t know there was a camera…at first,” she said crying now.

I held her in my arms and tried to soothe her.

“Did you take anything?”

She gulped.

“He told me it would make me feel happy. But I couldn’t move properly, and then I completely passed out,” she said with a shudder.

I cringed, knowing the sensation.

She cried more, big sobbing tears.

“I think everyone has seen it. I just can’t believe he would do this.”

“Have you told your parents?” I asked.

“No!” she cried. “I don’t want them to know. I can’t report him to the police either, because my parents would find out.”

Her parents were very strict and proper and something like this would tear the family apart.

“I don’t know what to do. Everyone knows. I can’t show my face at school. I can’t even look at the two of them after what they did to me,” she said crying.

I held her tighter and closed my eyes. I wanted to take the pain from her.

“Did they hurt you?” I whispered.

She sobbed, “No, they weren’t rough. They just made me do things I wouldn’t have normally done.”

I felt sick for her. I wanted to go and find him and seriously hurt him.

She continued to cry, wiping her tears with her hands.

“I thought I was so cool, trying to experience things and change my boring life, but it’s all backfired!”

“I know,” I soothed. “But, we’ll fix this.”

“How?” she gulped. “It’s a video that can’t be undone. It will forever be on someone’s phone or computer.”

I didn’t say anything, because she was right. No matter what we did now, the damage had already been done.

“I’m so stupid,” she cried covering her face.

“You’re not,” I said. “They are just assholes who took advantage of you.”

She shook her head.

“I just want to take back the last two months and start all over again.”

I curled some hair behind her ear in silence. I didn’t. They had been the wildest and most amazing weeks of my life.

After I calmed her down, we sat and talked, just like we used to do before everything had happened.

“So, why only for a month? Is that his stipulation or yours?” asked Sophie.

“His,” I said unhappily.

“You’ve fallen for him,” she said next.

I moistened my lips and admitted, “Yes. Completely.”

Sophie slowly nodded.

“So, what’s he really like?”

“Intense, a little crazy, possessive, loving, caring, sexy, wild,” I said shaking my head. “I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m on fire whenever he’s around me. And I know I only have the month and he made it so clear at the beginning. But I can’t stay away from him, not then, and definitely not now.”

“So are you hoping he’ll change his mind at the end of the month?”

“Secretly I am, but I know deep down that he won’t. He’s got this whole other life going on and probably wouldn’t want me hanging around anymore. They go out a lot and there are always a lot of girls.”

My phone beeped with a text message and I pulled it out.

Zac: Going to Asylum tonight – you interested?

Ava: I’m interested. Can I bring Sophie?

Zac: Sure…

I looked over at Sophie.

“Let’s go out tonight. Zac is going to a club. We can have a few drinks and maybe try and forget the problem for one night.”

* * *

After I parked Zac’s car in Noah’s driveway that night, Sophie got out and reluctantly looked over at Antony’s house through the large trees.

“Don’t even think about him,” I said closing my door and locking the car.

I walked around to her side and took her hand.

“He’ll get what’s coming to him eventually.”

I led her up the steps and then knocked on the door.

Noah opened it and smiled.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” I said and walked in, still holding Sophie’s hand. “This is Sophie. I don’t know if you remember her.”

Noah held out his hand.

“Noah, welcome to my humble abode.”

Sophie giggled and shook his hand.

“Hi, Noah.”

I looked over and saw Zac sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette. Will was in the kitchen mixing some shots. His eyes locked with mine and my heart rate sped up instantly. He didn’t smile or acknowledge, just looked at me intently, like I was going to be his dinner.

I headed over, still holding onto Sophie’s hand.

“I’m Will,” he said with a cigarette dangling from his mouth.

“Hi, Will,” said Sophie.

She sat down on the spare couch across from Zac and looked over at him.

“Hi.”

“Sophie,” he said in his deep voice, his hand going to my thigh and then he pulled me down next to him.

I looked at him and knew something was wrong as he leaned in and kissed me. I could feel the tension coming from him and I didn’t know why.

Noah sat down beside Sophie as Will came over with a stack of shots in his hands.

“So, girls, we have a plan,” he said, handing out the shots to everyone.

“I told you, I don’t want her anywhere near it,” growled Zac.

“It’s the best way,” returned Will.

I looked to Will and then to Zac, unaware of what they were talking about but understanding now where the tension was coming from.

Noah sat forward, putting his now empty shot glass on the coffee table.

“We will be there with Ava and Sophie. Nothing can happen to them.”

Zac shook his head.

“I don’t want him near her.”

“What’s going on?” I asked looking at Zac.

He didn’t meet my eyes.

“Just get them separated from the party, and I’ll take care of the rest.”

“It won’t work like that,” said Noah looking to me and then at Sophie. “We want to help with the Antony and Nathan situation.”

Sophie gasped.

“Oh, my god, you’ve seen it too?”

There was silence in the room as I turned to Zac with narrowed eyes. He had seen it? I wanted to know whether it was today like me or had he known about it earlier and not told me. I looked at Sophie and watched her close her eyes in humiliation and sadness. My heart went out to her.

“They filmed you willingly drinking the GHB,” said Zac seriously. “They knew what they were doing. You were seen as going into it willingly.”

“I didn’t know it was that. They just said it would make me feel good,” she said starting to cry. “I didn’t know the full extent of their plans.”

Noah squeezed her hand.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’re going to make them wish they had never done it, I promise you.”

“I didn’t even know they were filming it at first,” she cried.

“Saturday night, you’re going to your friend’s party at Kingdom,” interrupted Will.

“I can’t show my face anywhere,” she gasped.

I knew the last thing she would want to do would be to go to Amelie’s party.

“You need to go,” said Will. “You’ll have one task for the night, and that will be to slip some GHB into his drink.”

Sophie looked over at him in disbelief and wiped her cheeks.

“We’ll take care of the rest,” said Will. “Your problem will be solved by the time you wake up in the morning.”

“What am I doing?” I asked.

“You will slip the GHB into the other dickhead’s drink,” winked Will.

I felt Zac tense beside me, but he remained silent. He didn’t want me to be part of it, but I needed to help. I raised my chin.

“I’m in.”

“What will you do once they’ve had the drug?” asked Sophie.

Will smiled, his eyes fierce.

“We’ll show them the same courtesy that they showed you.”

“So all three of you will be there?” Sophie asked looking at Zac.

“Will and I will be there with you as your partners, and Zac will come later,” said Noah. “We need to work within a certain timeframe so it runs smoothly.”

“He already thinks you were the one who slashed his tires,” she said eyeing Zac.

“His tires are the least of his concerns,” he said getting up and heading to the kitchen.

I shivered a little, watching him lean against the sink and light up a joint. I knew I would never want to be an enemy of Zac’s.

“But I don’t understand,” said Sophie. “They will know it was you and come after you. You’ll be in all sorts of trouble.”

Zac dragged on his joint and didn’t look over. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration.

“They won’t know it’s us,” said Will.

“But why would you go to all this trouble for me?” whispered Sophie.

“I’m not,” said Zac darkly, glancing over to me.

I swallowed at the intensity in his eyes. He was doing it for me.

Noah eyed Zac meaningfully and then turned to Sophie.

“Because what they’ve done is wrong.”

“You didn’t think to maybe stop being with him when he tried to rape your friend?” asked Zac menacingly.

Sophie looked at him in surprise and then wiped her cheek, looking back to me.

“Ava knows I’m sorry about that.”

I took a breath, feeling the tension in the room. Zac was right, but I felt terrible for Sophie as well.

“I personally like a good ass kicking,” grinned Will, putting

his hand out for Zac to share the joint he was smoking.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“We should still get another girl instead of Ava,” said Zac crossing his arms and still leaning against the sink. “I know Shara would be up for it.”

I looked over at him. Of course, Shara would be up for it.

“I want to do it,” I said defiantly.

“Me, too,” said Sophie with a shaky voice. “I hate them and what they did to both of us.”

Zac locked eyes with me.

“No one is to know about this. Ever. Once they’re in the room, you girls have to leave. And I mean go home, away from any of it.”

“Let’s go to Asylum,” said Will standing up. “Enough of the plans. We’ll get them, kick their asses, and move on.”

Noah stood up as well.

“I think he plans on doing more than kick his ass,” he said to Will knowingly.

My eyes narrowed at that comment. What did that mean?

I watched Sophie’s reaction as we walked into the main part of the club where there was a death metal band playing. She looked around in wonder, taking in everybody. I knew that was how I would have looked a few weeks ago. I watched Noah stand with her and say things into her ear. He looked to be reassuring her and she was smiling up at him. They headed over to the bar together, and I knew she would be safe with him.

Zac took my hand and led me off in another direction, greeting a group of friends amongst the heavy music. They did friendly hand grasps and I stood back a little, wondering if he wasn’t introducing me because I was only temporary or that it was too hard with the band playing? I decided to choose the latter and tried to hear what they were saying in each other’s ears.

A song ended and they all stopped and cheered. Zac put his fingers in his mouth and let out a loud whistle. His arm went around my shoulders and he pulled me in close to him.

“Your friend looks a little scared,” he said into my ear.

I glanced over at Sophie and then back at him.

“You don’t like her, do you?”

“She’s a moron,” he returned instantly. “You could do so much better.”

He turned to laugh at something with the guy next to him, our conversation gone. Sophie not believing me with Antony had hurt, and it was something I was unlikely to forget. When it came down to it, though, she would be the only one left after Zac walks out of my life at the end of the month.

I watched the band, enjoying being close to Zac. It was the only place I wanted to be, regardless of what he thought of my friend or our situation. I thought of Saturday night and all the things that could go wrong. What if I couldn’t slip it into their drink? What if they weren’t even interested in speaking to us, let alone have a drink with us? What was Zac planning on doing to them afterwards?

Zac

I stepped out of the toilets and came face to face with Sophie. She smiled up at me, making it clear that she had been waiting for me, knowing we were hidden from the main room of the club. I looked down at her smiling face, curious as to what she was up to, having been with enough girls to know when one wanted something.

“I just wanted to say thanks for helping with the Antony and Nathan situation,” she said leaning into me.

“I told you earlier, I’m not doing it for you,” I returned.

She fluttered her eyelashes.

“But I wanted to thank you anyway,” she said touching my chest lightly.

I eyed her with cool disdain.

“Thought you didn’t like burners,” I taunted.

She looked away from me with guilty eyes and then touched my chest again, her fingers tickling me.

“I never said that.”

“What do you want, Sophie?” I asked stepping closer to her.

She stepped back into the wall behind her and looked up and giggled softly.

“I think you know what I want.”

“I actually don’t,” I mocked coldly stepping even closer to her. “You’ll have to tell me.”

Her eyes danced excitedly.

“You. I know what you have with her is temporary, and I want you.”

“Really,” I stated coolly.

“Why wait until the end of the month. You could have me tonight. I’m more experienced than her. I could probably satisfy you more.”

My eyes flicked to her mouth, and I watched her tongue deliberately wet her top lip as I leaned in closer. I watched her slightly pant as I leaned into her ear.

“I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last skank on earth.”

She gasped and shoved me back, her eyes wild with hurt. I laughed and looked her up and down in disdain.

“She satisfies me in ways that you could only dream about.”

She glared at me, her chest heaving.

“Don’t fuck with Ava, because then you fuck with me,” I said with a taunting glare. “And you don’t want that, Princess.”

“Go to hell,” she said angrily.

I smirked.

“I was just there and it wasn’t pretty.”

She stormed off, back into the club and I waited a moment before I went back out, too. She had just given me yet another reason as to why I didn’t like her. She didn’t have Ava’s back, and I hated anyone who didn’t. I had already been feeling uneasy about including Ava in the plan on Saturday night and now I wanted both of them out of it. Sophie couldn’t be trusted and I needed to sort my Plan B out.

I saw Ava by the bar, watching the band and sipping her whiskey amongst the crowd. The dull thud in my chest reminded me that I wouldn’t have her back soon either. If all went according to plan, I would be in her past sooner rather than later, and she could go and enjoy her life the way she was meant to, without me.

The thought fucking killed me, but I had to ignore it. I had to push my wants aside and look after her best interests. I wasn’t any good for her, and she was too fucking good for me.

As if sensing me, she turned and locked eyes on me, her lips curling into a smile as she sipped her drink. She was exquisite and the finest I had ever had. It was going to hurt like fuck to let her go. I went to her, wanting to enjoy the moments I had left before I disappeared forever.

She moistened her lips as I reached her, leaning my body into hers, as I fastened my lips on hers. I tasted her with my tongue, the whiskey and her sweetness flowing through me as her fingers tickled behind my neck. My hands went around her waist, and I anchored her to me, oblivious to the death core crowd going crazy around me.

“Let’s go home,” I said into her ear, biting her lobe while I was at it.

She looked at me in surprise.

“Already?”

I nuzzled her neck.

“I want to do despicable things to you.”

She giggled, throwing her head back as her cheeks flushed and I squeezed her tight in anticipation.

“What about Sophie?” she asked looking around for her.

“What about her?” I asked. “Noah will get her a taxi when she’s ready to go home.”

She started to type a text to her as I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of there.

Ava

I knew we were alone at Noah’s place as we walked inside. I went straight into Zac’s arms as the door closed. He held me tight as he gave me a wicked look before his lips kissed mine.

I ran my hand through his hair and pulled back an inch.

“So, why do you dislike Sophie so much?”

He cocked his eyebrow.

“You want to talk right now?”

I laughed.

“I just want to know why. She was happy to get a taxi tonight separately, because she thinks you don’t like her.”

He shrugged.

“She only cares for herself. She took Antony’s side when he tried to rape you. Do I need to go any further?”

I shook my head and quietly admitted, “I guess not.”

“This whole video thing has happened before, Ava. She was the girl in your fake one, by the way.”

I looked at him in surprise.

“Really?”

He nodded.

“No female in her right mind takes ‘something’ that will make her feel good in a situation with two guys with their dicks out.”

I agreed in silence, knowing he was right.

His hand went to my cheek and then grazed down to my neck.

“Sophie is nothing like you, and I can’t see why you’re even friends.”

“Maybe I’m keeping up the friendship so when our month is up, I still have someone,” I said quietly, looking away from his eyes.

He exhaled.

“You agreed, Ava.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” I whispered.

“I’m wrong for you, on so many levels. Remember that,” he said with eyes that were hot and dark with emotion.

I looked down, away from him, my lashes concealing my expression. I wouldn’t remember that because I didn’t believe it. He took my chin and pulled my face up to look at him, his dark eyes so perceptive that I wanted to suddenly look away.

I didn’t want him to see how much I cared, how much I had fallen in love with him. His eyes burned into me, and I swallowed down a lump of fear. Fear of him leaving me before my time was up.

“Zac,” I pleaded in a whisper.

For a moment, he looked like he was fighting his own demons, as if he was preparing to send me away, so I would remember it was only temporary. I knew he wanted to show me, make me hurt, to see everything that we could never be, but he also wanted to devour me. I knew right then that he wanted that more.

His mouth captured mine in a blinding kiss, and I gasped as he lifted me up and gripped my bottom hard with his hands.

My hands ran through his hair and around his neck as our mouths assaulted each other. He yanked my top off over my head and threw it somewhere in the room as I pulled his top off in a madness and threw it somewhere too.

His skin was warm as I clasped to him, his hand running over my bra and squeezing my breast as he hungrily kissed me. I groaned softly against his mouth, as his hand went to my back and flicked the clasp of my bra, pulling it away as my breasts rubbed against his chest. I needed him now and I panted his name against his lips.

He carried me across the room, grasping the back of my head with one hand to keep me to him as he kissed me ravenously. We made it to the kitchen area and he pushed me up against the fridge, feasting on my tongue. I squealed at the coldness on my bare skin.

He moved to the small kitchen table and shoved some plates out of the way as he placed me down on it. One hit the floor with a loud clang, and I laughed as he undid my jeans and pulled them off.

“What if someone comes in?” I asked as he started to kiss me again.

He didn’t answer. He concentrated on my mouth as his hands caressed my body. He made his way down my neck to my breasts with his mouth, the sensation taking my breath away. I closed my eyes and whimpered in appreciation as I clung to him.

He returned to my mouth and hauled me against him, my legs open and around his back. He undid his jeans and quickly put a condom on. Then he was inside me and I groaned. He took me on the table, each thrust making the plates rattle. My sighs turned to squeals of delight.

I no longer cared if anyone walked in on us, because it was only him and I who existed. It was only him inside me, making me tremble and then soar into a complete explosion. I clung to him so tightly that I nearly cried.

His fierce control shattered and he gave a deep growl as he lost himself inside me. I held onto him, still feeling little aftershocks as he tried to breathe, his mouth on my shoulder. He then pulled back slightly, looking over my body as he stood back up. Pure satisfaction reigned in his eyes and my chest ached at the intensity. He stood before me with his amazing taut body that exuded power. His jeans rested low on his hips and were half undone.

I loved him, with every breath in my body. Pure, unadulterated love that made me lean up and brush his lips with mine again. He picked me up without breaking the kiss and walked us over to his bedroom. The door closed behind us. I didn’t want to wait a second longer. I had to have him again. I had to be in his arms. It was the only place I wanted to be.

The next morning, I headed downstairs and rushed to the front door, wanting to get out of the house before Sarah saw me.

“Ava? Could you please come in here before you head off to school,” said my father from the kitchen.

Surprised that he was still here on a work morning, I walked in to find them at the kitchen counter eating breakfast together.

“I’m going to be late for school”.

“I’ll be quick,” he said wiping his hands on a napkin. “I’m really not happy about the amount of nights you are spending away from home”.

“I’m studying,” I stammered. “These are the last weeks of school”.

“You have to sleep over at Sophie’s to study?” asked Sarah sweetly. “Maybe I should give her mother a call”.

Gritting my teeth, I said “We are studying all hours of the night so we can graduate. I really didn’t think that would be a problem”.

My father straightened the cuffs of his business shirt.

“It’s not, but I can’t see why you have to be away from here. Invite Sophie over here. We will leave you alone to study”.

“Sure. I will mention it to her,” I lied swiftly. “Can I go now?”

“Are you coping with it all? Do you need anything from me?” he asked next.

I barely stopped myself from rolling my eyes at the absurdity of him trying to take an interest.

“I’m coping fine. I don’t need anything but to be left alone so I can concentrate,” I said, passing a resentful glare to Sarah.

“We only want what’s best for you,” added Sarah.

I turned away and headed out of the kitchen.

“Sure thing. Have to go,” I said, stopping myself from saying what I really wanted to say to the both of them.

As I walked into school later with Sophie, I cleared my head of the unspoken issues at home so I could show my support for her. I had discovered the secret to happiness, thanks to Zac and I felt invincible. I wanted some of it to rub off onto Sophie and make her not care about what any of them thought. School would be over soon and none of this would matter.

Sophie tried her hardest to be strong and kept her eyes adverted from anyone, trying not to hear the whispers and giggles. We spent lunchtime in the library, studying for our looming exams. Even the thought of all the hard work ahead of us, didn’t mar my happiness.

That night he picked me up from my house and took me on a date, much to my own surprise and delight. He had arrived with a bunch of orange lilies for me and whether he knew that Lily was my middle name or not, the thought warmed my heart. He took me to the outdoor drive-in movie theatre where we spent more time kissing and exploring each other than watching the movie. When he brought me home, I invited him in, knowing my father and Sarah would not be home until late. We made love on my single bed that night, and we curled up together and slept.

By the next morning, he had disappeared on me, but I curled into my pillow and found my phone on top of it. I opened it to see a photo of the two of us from this morning, with me asleep on his chest while he kissed the top of my head. It was so romantic, my heart melted. I held it close, missing him already.

I flicked to see if he had taken any more and came across a photo of an orange lily from the bunch, then another with the lily on my naked back as I slept and I blushed. There was another photo of what looked to be a piece of paper or an envelope, but I flicked back to the photo of the two of us and smiled happily.

At school, we watched Antony and Nathan laugh and muck around, oblivious to what was coming to them tomorrow night. Amelie was surprised but happy that Sophie was still coming to her party tomorrow. We told her just how much we were looking forward to it. She didn’t mind us bringing dates, and we were amused at the thought of Will and Noah being our dates.

I spent the night at Noah’s with Zac, feeling a new even deeper level of intimacy between us. I could no longer imagine being without him at all, and I was desperately in love.

“Be careful tomorrow night. Make sure if anything goes wrong that you tell Will. He’s sworn to me that he will protect you with his life,” he said, his expression serious.

I kissed his bare chest as my fingers travelled over his tattoo, following the outline over and over again.

“Okay.”

“I’m going to be there by 11:00. After that, you must go home.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Don’t worry about me, Ava, I can look after myself. Promise me you’ll leave straight after they go into the room.”

“Okay,” I said.

“I don’t want you to have anything to do with this.”

“Okay,” I said again.

“Then you and Sophie can concentrate on getting your lives back to normal.”

Something didn’t sound right with that. He kissed me again, wiping any doubts from my brain and I became lost once again in his arms.

Chapter Fourteen: To Ruin and Damage

Ava

Will and Noah escorted us into the club on Saturday night and slipped us the small drug capsules. They were soon making themselves discreet, by hanging at the side of the bar, drinking and keeping an eye on us.

I couldn’t relax as I wished Amelie a happy birthday and looked around for Nathan and Antony. I spotted them on the other side of the dance floor and felt nervous. In under a half hour, I was going to somehow slip drugs into their drinks. I looked at Sophie who looked as nervous as I did.

“Girls,” said Will coming over with a shot for each of us.

He leaned into my ear and whispered, “Relax, you’re meant to be having fun.”

I smiled, taking the shot and drinking it. He took my empty glass and winked at me as he walked away. I took a deep breath and turned to Sophie.

“Let’s do this.”

“Right now?” asked Sophie in a panic.

“No. Not yet. But we need to dance, get their attention, and show them there are no hard feelings.”

Sophie let out a deep breath.

“Let’s do it.”

I headed onto the dance floor, pulling Sophie with me. I started to dance to the music, trying to relax my body unsuccessfully until I closed my eyes and thought of Zac, my strength. I reopened them and locked eyes with Antony who was now watching me. I smiled coyly and continued to dance, my hips moving in time with the music. I pretended to laugh with Sophie and she gave me a strained smile and suddenly looked very pale.

I continued to dance, feeling the music with his eyes still on me. He gave a smug smile and said something to Nathan as I turned around, knowing my plan was working. I was supposed to be working on Nathan while Sophie was working on Antony, but she was only looking more and more uncomfortable. She moved rigidly, closing her eyes as if willing herself to do something she didn’t have it in her to do.

She opened her eyes and looked at me, shaking her head.

“I can’t do it.”

“It’s only ten more minutes,” I said to her while I continued to dance.

She shook her head again.

“I just can’t. I’m so sorry, Avs,” she said putting her capsule of the GHB in my hand.

Then she disappeared back into the crowd.

I swore and looked over at Antony who was still watching me. I got back into character and moistened my lips, putting my arms up and moving my hips with the beat. I locked eyes with Will across the room, and he silently asked me if I was okay to continue. I gave a slight nod and then flicked my hair back.

Antony was behind me and started to dance up against me.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” he said into my ear.

“I don’t have one,” I returned. “We broke up.”

He cocked an eyebrow up.

“Interesting.”

I leaned up against him, and asked, “And why’s that?”

He grinned, putting his hand on my arm.

“Want a drink?”

“I’d love one,” I said trying not to feel sick from the creep’s hand.

I felt the hatred and anger I had for him and pasted on a smile. I could do this.

Zac

I still didn’t want Ava to be a part of this and as I looked to Shara next to me in the taxi, I knew I had made the right decision. The sooner I got her out of there, the better off it would all be. I texted Will.

Zac: I’m 15 mins away

Will responded instantly: Sophie choked. Ava doing it by herself

Zac: For fucks sake – this is exactly why I didn’t want them to be part of this! Get her away from them. We’re going to Plan B.

Will: Chill. She’s eyed me saying she’s got it under control

Zac: I don’t want him fucking touching her!

Will: Chill the fuck out. She’s done it. She’s given me the sign. See you soon.

Anger riled up through me as I prepared myself for what was to come.

Ava

I laughed at something Antony said and looked at my phone. I had to wait four more minutes and then get him and Nathan to go upstairs. I watched them laugh together, examining if the dosage would take longer to work on them.

“Hello boys,” said a seductive voice.

I turned in disbelief to see Shara next to me.

“Well, hello,” said Antony looking her up and down with interest.

Shara giggled, eyeing them both.

“You look like you’re having fun over here.”

“We are now,” said Nathan.

I was lost for words and turned to look for Will to find out what the hell was going on and why the plans had changed. Why the hell was she here? My phone vibrated and I looked at the screen. Zac.

Zac: Go home

I furiously responded: Why the hell is Shara here?

Zac: Ava – go home – NOW

I looked around the club, anger making me shake, to see if he had arrived and was watching me from somewhere, but I couldn’t find him. Will had already gone upstairs, because it was time for it all to happen.

Zac: If you don’t fucking leave right now – I will throw you out myself

I nearly stomped my foot in fury and looked at Shara seeing her between both boys, giggling and letting them touch her. I pushed my way through the crowd and headed over to the spot where Will had been standing. I looked back over at Shara and saw her start to lead the boys away from the party.

My phone vibrated in my hand again.

Zac: This is your final warning Ava. Stop making me fucking angry

I growled under my breath and turned around, heading towards the main entrance. I scowled as I stepped out into the night air, having no idea where Sophie had gone or what Zac was doing upstairs right now.

“Ava!”

I turned around and saw Tyler making his way out to me.

“Heading home?”

I nodded, too angry to talk.

“Zac just texted me, told me he wasn’t able to meet you tonight, so he asked if I could see you home safely.”

I looked at him in bewilderment, trying to process his words.

“What?”

“He wants you home safe, and I was leaving soon anyway.”

I tried to comprehend the length that Zac was going to, just to get me home. Why was he doing this? The whole night had changed and was turning ridiculous.

“You okay?” asked Tyler.

“I’m fine,” I said, remembering to smile. “A lift home would be great. Thanks, Tyler.”

Antony tried to see through the blurriness but couldn’t focus on one thing. Something had happened. He had been drugged, he was sure of it. Faces kept coming in and out of focus. Scary faces, like Halloween masks. Were they real? Fuck he hoped not. He was about to scream.

Someone was undressing him and he looked down to see the blonde girl. He was going to get lucky with her. Awesome.

She disappeared again and then he felt his arms being tied behind his back. He suddenly felt scared. Was she into kinky shit?

He suddenly saw Nathan in front of him and he had a blindfold on. He tried to ask him what he was doing but his mouth wouldn’t work.

He was then shoved down onto a chair and realized it was facing Nathan. The blonde girl was on his lap and starting to kiss him and he closed his eyes. He felt turned on but scared at the same time. She stopped for a moment and pressed her hands over his chest and then blindfolded him as well.

She returned to his mouth and started to kiss him passionately. She felt different all of a sudden, her mouth bigger but he put it down to whatever he had been slipped. Her hand went under his boxers and he groaned, wanting more. He kissed her with all his might and then everything stopped. He sat there with a hard on, ready for the next step, wanting more. Where had she gone?

Was Nathan groaning now? His ears were fuzzy and he felt like he was going to pass out.

Both blindfolds were then ripped off and two very scary masks were in front of their faces. They both tried to shout, but couldn’t. They tried to move but their hands were tied, along with their feet. When did that happen?

Antony heard Nathan yell something and then disappear from his sight. He tried to move to see what happened and then felt a blow to the head. His skin tingled and he could feel blood run down from his nose to his mouth. What the hell was happening?

There was another blow and then the chair was falling backwards to the ground. He crashed to the floor and passed out.

Ava

I spent Sunday worrying myself sick over the silence. He hadn’t called and every time I called him, it went straight to voicemail. I sent him numerous texts until I received a reply in the late afternoon.

He sent two words: Talk soon

I didn’t expect that response and I had to wonder what the hell was going on. I curled up in bed and tried to make sense of it as I fell into an exhausted sleep.

Late Sunday night, I felt weird and a little crazy from not hearing from him. I snuck out of the house and went to Noah’s, but there was no answer. Lights were off and cars had gone. What the hell had happened?

On Monday morning, I walked into the school grounds with Sophie and realized something big was going on. We entered the locker hall and looked around at all the whispering and giggling as everyone looked at phones.

Sophie stopped breathing, thinking it was her video.

“Please god, no.”

I spotted Tyler and I went straight over to him, taking Sophie with me.

“What is it?”

He looked at me and shook his head, apparently speechless. I grabbed his phone to see. Sophie leaned over my shoulder as I pressed play on the video.

I recognized Antony and Nathan straight away. They seemed to be sitting on chairs facing each other. It cut to a close-up of their faces, smiling and leaning their head backs like they were being pleasured. Then it cut to a scene of the two of them with blindfolds on, kissing each other, like they were really enjoying it.

“Oh, my god,” gasped Sophie.

“What the hell were they thinking?” said Tyler in disgust.

It continued on with different footage, close-ups of Antony and Nathan at different times, making sex videos, the girls faces blurred. It was a clever montage to two assholes, and as I watched the film end, I had realized what Zac had done. It was a hundred times worse than a beating. This would ruin both of them for the rest of their high school existence.

“Someone said they went to the hospital last night,” said Tyler.

“Really?” I asked, wondering just how far they had taken it.

“They’re apparently home now,” he stated.

I tried to hide my shock and the need to burst out laughing. Zac had ruined them.

“I had no idea about this type of outcome,” whispered Sophie.

I heard loud giggles from the classroom across from me and looked in to see a photo of Antony and Nathan on the projector screen. It was the two of them kissing. Phones beeped around us. Everyone was reading and responding to texts.

“It’s in all the classrooms!” said someone at the door. “It’s on all the computers!”

I was dumbfounded as I heard laughter and more phones beeping.

There was an announcement over the school speakers, “All students, please go immediately to the Assembly Hall.”

I followed everyone out and made my way to the hall. It seemed anyone who hadn’t seen the video was now watching it as we all assembled into our class groups.

The principal, looking red in the face with anger, stood in front of everyone with the microphone.

“Students, it seems there has been a security breach with our network of computers. I advise you all not to access any computer within the school until this has been rectified.”

There were murmurs around the hall and I looked over to Sophie, who looked over to me. She hid a smile and looked back over to the principal.

“Quiet,” he bellowed.

Everyone fell silent.

“It has also come to my attention that there has been some highly unacceptable footage that is being shared around. As we have made clear in previous announcements, sharing this type of footage is completely forbidden. If you are caught, you will have detention and the authorities will be notified.”

There were a few snickers around the hall.

“In light of this morning’s situation, I am now banning all phones from school grounds.”

There was a collective gasp.

“You will leave your phones at home or turn them off once you reach school, and leave them in your lockers. If you do not comply, it will be confiscated and detention will follow.”

“You can’t do that,” said someone from the back.

Other classes laughed and sniggered.

“This policy starts immediately,” he bellowed.

I quickly turned my phone to silent and pulled my uniform down a little and hid it in my bra. There was no way I was losing my phone.

As I left school that afternoon with Sophie next to me, I knew Zac had done what he had set out to do. Their reputations were ruined, secrets were out, and they looked like fools. I would have never imagined anything like this, not on this scale. I guessed that was where his experience and my innocence were leagues apart. It was another reason why he had put Shara in my place, knowing she would be able to take it to the next level. I had been worried about him for nothing, because he was in control of everything.

There was a car horn and I turned to see Tyler pulling over across the road. He waved us over and we crossed to see him.

“They’re both in a bad way,” he said straight away. “The school has involved their parents, and they’ve gone ape shit.”

“Excuse me while I don’t feel sorry for them, Tyler,” said Sophie.

“They’ve involved the police, apparently,” said Tyler looking at me. “They both say they were drugged.”

“And?” I said, pretending a calmness I didn’t feel.

“Apparently a blonde girl was with them. They reckon she was the one who drugged them.”

“Oh,” I said.

“Apparently the club’s cameras malfunctioned or something for the night, so there is no video surveillance at all. It doesn’t look too good for them on finding out who did it.”

I hid my instant relief. Zac had obviously thought of that, too.

“Get in, and I’ll give you both a lift.”

As Tyler pulled into my driveway after dropping Sophie off, he put the car in park and turned to me.

“You were pretty angry Saturday night.”

I grabbed my bag and put my hand on the door handle.

“I was just pissed Zac didn’t show up. It’s not a big deal.”

“Why didn’t he show up? He never said when he texted me.”

“Just caught up at another party,” I lied.

“If you were together, wouldn’t you be at the same party?” he asked.

I gave him a dark look, annoyed at his tone.

“No. We can have different friends.”

“But didn’t I see you arrive with two of his friends?” he continued.

I swallowed.

“What’s with the twenty questions?”

“I just wondered why you were with them and not him.”

“They knew Sophie and I really wanted to go so they took us.”

“And left you there?”

“To go to the other party that Zac was at,” I said through clenched teeth.

There was a car horn and then Sarah pulled up beside us. She waved and climbed out with her yoga gear on.

“Hey, guys.”

Obviously, giving up with his interrogation, Tyler got out of the car.

“Hi, Sarah.”

“It’s sweet that you gave Ava a lift home,” she beamed.

I rolled my eyes as I got out of the car, slamming the door closed.

“Anytime,” Tyler grinned at me.

“Would you like to come in for a drink?” she asked next, heading to the front door.

I groaned under my breath.

“I think Tyler needs to get home,” I said gritting my teeth.

“I’d love a drink,” said Tyler.

“Excellent, come in,” said Sarah chirpily as she went inside.

I confronted him, “You don’t have to do this. She was just being polite.”

“I want to have a drink. She’s nice.”

I rolled my eyes again and started to make my way in.

“Besides, I want her and your dad to like me, for when I start to date you.”

I paused at the door and turned to him.

“You’re talking like it’s a foregone conclusion.”

“According to me, it is,” he said, stepping past me and winking on his way to the kitchen.

I couldn’t believe his sureness of the situation. He seemed so confident that I would just forget Zac and date him. That would never happen. I would only ever want one person and Tyler wasn’t him.

I went upstairs to get changed, and tossed my school bag on the floor of my room. I didn’t want to do homework. I didn’t want to “chat” with Sarah and Tyler. I needed to get rid of my pent-up anger and energy. I needed Zac.

I got my phone and pressed his name. It went straight to voicemail and this time I angrily left a message.

“Only me. I wish you would tell me what’s going on. I’m worried,” I said pausing before I continued. “And now thanks to you, I have Tyler in my house, having a drink with my freaking father’s Stepford wife. What the hell were you thinking when you got him to drive me home Saturday night?”

I ended the call and dropped the phone onto my bed.

I quickly got changed and untied my ponytail, running my fingers through my hair and letting it fall over my shoulders as if it would help with relieving some tension.

My phone rang in the silence and I jumped on it. Zac.

“Hey,” I said quickly, my heart pounding.

“You sound pissed,” he said.

“I am. Where are you? Why haven’t you called?”

“I’m…away somewhere with the boys.”

“Where? For how long?”

“Not sure yet,” he returned.

I tried to listen for background noise to figure out where he was, but I only heard him exhale and realized he was smoking.

“What does that mean?” I asked, starting to panic.

“It means, I think we need to bring the end of our month date closer.”

I was silent, fear clawing at my heart.

“We need to move on with our lives and see other people. You’ve got exams coming up and I’ve got…stuff to do.”

“Are you joking?” I gasped, my legs starting to shake.

“Ava, I warned you about this. I’m not the one for you. You need to concentrate on your future, on maybe even…Tyler. Someone who will give you everything you need.”

“No, you don’t mean that,” I cried softly. “Zac, why are you doing this?”

“Because it’s not going to work, Ava.”

“But it does. I…I really like you, Zac, I’m in lo…”

“I’ve got to go,” he said abruptly. “It’s been fun. Take care, Ava.”

The call ended and I let out a sob, a thick dread filling me, making my limbs feel heavy and my head pound. I looked at my phone and then dropped it to the carpet. I then followed, dropping to my knees. I tried to breathe, but it came out as a big gut-wrenching sob. It was over. Just like that.

Zac

With my jaw clenched, I looked out to the waves rolling in, spinning my phone around in my hand and trying not to think of a reason to call her back.

“Did you do it?” asked Noah walking across the sand.

I nodded and looked back down at my phone.

“How did she take it?” he asked sitting down next to me.

“As expected,” I muttered.

“Remind me again why you’re doing this? She was an awesome girl.”

“It was time to move on. I cared too much. I can’t give her what she needs.”

He shook his head.

“Shit, Zac, most guys who love a girl, want to keep her.”

“She deserves more,” I said frustrated.

“Cut the crap, Zac man,” he said annoyed. “You’re just shit scared, because you finally found someone who you truly care about. You can’t use her and throw her away like the others. She got under your skin from the moment you met her.”

I was silent as I looked out at the ocean, my jaw still clenched so tightly that I was about to shatter teeth.

“Jesus, man, you seemed happy with her and I haven’t seen you like that in years. Why end something that feels good?”

I took a deep breath.

“Because it will eventually turn to shit. These things do.”

Noah sighed and shook his head.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

I looked at my screen, finding Tyler’s phone number and then typed a text.

Zac: She’s officially no longer mine. Look after her…otherwise I will hunt you down

I pressed Send and then looked back out at the ocean, trying to ignore the pain in my chest. It travelled through me, the ache intensifying as it clawed at my insides. I listened to Noah walk back to the beach house and then I put my head down, closing my eyes tightly. I tried to shut the feelings down. It wasn’t going to be okay, because it was over, and it was because of me.

I had started to want her in my life permanently, and now I had made sure she was gone. She deserved better than me, someone who wasn’t already broken. She needed someone who could promise her the world and give her everything. A girl as amazing and beautiful as her deserved it all.

I was not enough. She deserved a guy with goals and a promising future, not a criminal record, a secret job with enemies, and a sister who needed constant supervision for fear of her breakdowns. I didn’t need to share my trauma with her, because she had enough of her own to deal with, even if she didn’t know it yet.

I felt a wetness on my cheeks and looked back out to the ocean, quickly swiping the tears away with the back of my hand. I hadn’t cried for fucking years, but knowing I would never be with her again, to touch or see or hear her laugh again, killed me inside. I would never feel that emotional connection that I had tried so fucking hard not to feel, but craved like my next breath.

Ava

He didn’t want me. He didn’t love me. The month wasn’t finished and he had dumped me. What had I done so wrong? What was wrong with me?

My heart had cracked open and the pain was unbearable. I didn’t know if I would survive this.

I didn’t go to school for the rest of the week. I pretended to, even some mornings walking out of the house, only to return when they had both left the house.

I spent my days in bed, crying and driving myself crazy over my need for him. I didn’t hear from him again. He had just cut and run.

I only had myself to blame, because I was the one that had fallen for him. He had warned me time and time again, and I hadn’t listened, because I thought he would feel something for me and change his mind. But I was wrong. So wrong.

Zac

“You are fucking nuts, Zac, you know that?” shouted Janey over the loud music.

“Cheers to you,” I said drunkenly putting my straight triple whiskey glass in the air towards her.

“I really liked her! Why did you have to go and ruin it all?”

“No one is stopping you from seeing her,” I slurred.

Janey rolled her eyes.

“She probably doesn’t want anything to do with me now because of you!”

I shrugged my shoulders without a care.

“Cry me a river,” I shouted back.

She stuck her finger up at me and headed over to the bar.

I eyed the girl beside me who had sucked my cock an hour ago at the back of the club. I suddenly hated her. I gulped my drink and looked the other way. My dark angel was never far in my mind, even when another girl’s lips were around my cock. The whiskey burned my throat, and I welcomed the discomfort. I pulled my phone out and turned on my tracking application, knowing that I shouldn’t, but I did it anyway.

She was at a club four blocks away and I wondered if she was having fun. Had she forgotten me and moved on to Tyler? Was she dancing and flirting with someone right now? I knocked back the rest of the whiskey and moved to the bar to order another.

Chapter Fifteen: Answers

Ava

It took me weeks to come across the photo of the envelope again on my phone. I was confused at the time, not knowing what it meant, but as I focused on it closely, I suddenly knew I had to find it.

I searched everywhere—under the bed, in every drawer, under everything that I could move or lift. I finally found it as I pulled his hoodie off my desk and the envelope fell to the floor. It had been inside his folded hoodie the entire time and I knew that meant something. This sealed plain envelope that didn’t have my name on it was from him and I was suddenly afraid to open it.

I sat down on my bed and looked at it for a moment. My fingers were shaking as I slowly started to peel it open, not wanting to rip it. It was all I had left of him. Copied documents were folded inside, and I pulled them out. My heart stopped as I glanced over the first one.

It was a Death Certificate.

My mother’s name was next to the title – Deceased.

A sob escaped me and I covered my mouth. My eyes scanned the rest of the sections: Marriage, Children, Parents. I stopped on Medical.

Cause of Death – Accidental, Suicidal

Place Of Occurrence – Home address

Name of Coroner.

A sob tried to come out, but I choked on it and dropped the papers. My eyes filled up and I didn’t know whether to stay seated or run from the room. She was dead. She was gone forever. She had left me by killing herself.

I picked up the papers again. The second page was a detailed police report, outlining the scene, the time it happened, and my father’s interview. A torrent of tears started their way down my face, and I gulped for air. My father had lied to me. Everyone had lied to me.

The next page was a map of the local cemetery. An area had been highlighted in blue with directions. She had been there for the last five years. I had passed it numerous fucking times, completely unaware. Hard hot pain erupted in my chest and I felt like I was going to pass out.

The last page was a note and I clutched at my aching heart as I realized it was a note from my mother. It had been submitted with the police report.

I could no longer breathe

I am sorry that I failed you both

I will always be filled with a pain that cannot be eased and I am in a place so dark that I cannot see any light

This is the only way

Tell Ava to live her life and be extraordinary

My heart is yours and always will be

xx

I heard a keening cry, and I realized it was coming from me, all the way from the deep recesses of my chest. I slid off the bed onto the floor and held my knees tight against me. I was going to break apart and I needed to hold on for dear life.

I stayed there for hours, not moving. My arms ached from holding my legs so tightly and my neck became stiff, shooting pain down my spine. I welcomed the pain, because the rest of me was numb.

She had been erased from my life. Everything in the house had been removed, like she had been a dirty secret that we didn’t talk about.

I thought back to the time five years ago and how I was shipped off to my auntie’s house for a month, because my father wasn’t coping with my mother’s supposed disappearance. Everyone confirmed to me that she had run away and left us all alone. My father always told me about his discussions with the police at the station. No one else in the family spoke about it, like they were so shocked and upset that talking about it would make it hurt even more. There had been hushed discussions, but I could never hear them. Maybe I was too broken to try. I had lost a mother. I had hoped and prayed each night that she would return to me.

I cried my heart out until my head ached and my eyes felt swollen.

I was fearful of what I would do next. I felt the flames of anger licking at my insides, and I wanted to scream and shout. I wanted to confront my lying father and tell him that I knew the truth. I wanted to know why it was kept a secret from me. I wanted to trash the house and break everything that had been bought after my mother had died. I wanted to throw Sarah’s things out of the window and set fire to them.

I wanted to rip my heart out and stop the aching.

But I didn’t do anything. I just folded the papers up and slipped them back in the envelope, sealing it shut.

I had been lied to all my life. I hadn’t known that my mother was unhappy and that my father hadn’t done anything until it was too late. My entire life had been a lie.

Now I was undeniably and utterly alone.

* * *

Weeks went past.

I went to parties.

I drank a lot of alcohol.

I smoked weed when it was offered, and I no longer cared about anything.

Tyler stuck around and I had no idea why, but he was usually the one who made sure I got home safely each time.

I would never be the same.

Sophie tried her hardest to make me focus on our exams, but I no longer cared about university or my future. I just wanted to escape reality and be numb.

They all blamed Zac, and I let them, because I didn’t want them to know the truth about my mother. I kept it all inside, where it silently gnawed away at my self-preservation.

I hated Zac for finding my mother, but I loved him for it as well. I had five years to soften the blow of my mother’s death while Zac had left me raw and extremely hurt. Each day I found it more and more difficult to breathe, because I needed him now more than ever.

I didn’t hear from any of them, except for Janey who had sent a text message to me late one night.

Janey: Miss you xx

I replied – Miss you too x

The self-defense class had texted me a reminder of the class times, and I decided to keep going even if Janey had dropped out. I learned how to defend myself, but I also used the training to release my pent-up anger. I still felt alone but I was now capable of kicking someone’s ass and escaping them if I needed to.

I made myself go to the cemetery. My mother had a small plaque in the grass, and I dropped to my knees in front of it and cried. I wanted answers from her. I wanted to know what had made her so unhappy that the only way was to end it. I wanted to tell her that I was nowhere near to being extraordinary. I was just a girl who was totally empty and sad.

Our Graduation Ball was set and Tyler asked me to go. I refused until Sophie pleaded for me to go, to share some fun with our high school friends before it all changed and we all went our separate ways.

I bought a dress with Sophie, not really interested in the cut or the designer name. I bought designer heels and I had my hair curled. I was numb throughout the entire process.

Tyler had booked a suite in the same hotel as the ball and a group of us had drinks before we went down and had fun with the rest of the Year level. The look on Tyler’s face when he saw me in my dress had his eyes dancing with lust and absolute appreciation. Any other girl would have felt beautiful, but I felt nothing. I only wanted one pair of eyes that looked at me like that and they didn’t belong to Tyler.

It had now been two months.

Two months of feeling hollow. According to Tyler, I should have been starting to get over Zac by now, and I knew he had been waiting patiently, but I didn’t want him. I felt the same pain every day and it never let up. There was only one person who could take that pain away.

I headed over to the window of the hotel room and looked out at the night.

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he said into my ear behind me.

I continued to stare out, seeing our reflection in the window. In another time and place, we could have looked good together. My hair and dark makeup didn’t really fit with his style, but we still looked like we could belong to each other. I just didn’t want to be that girl.

I still yearned for my dark knight, the only one who could heat my body through with one knowing glance. He was the only one for me, but he was no longer mine. He never really had been.

I was so tired of feeling empty, so fed up with the pain that maybe I needed to move on with Tyler and award him for his patience. It was the biggest social cliché on prom night, but maybe I needed to get Zac out of my system by replacing him. Maybe it would help me sleep through the nights again, because that’s where he seemed to torture me the most. If it wasn’t a nightmare about my mother, every other dream was of him, and I hadn’t slept soundly for weeks.

Pressure pounded in my skull and I felt desperately crazy as I turned my head to look up at him. He saw the change in me and his hands went around my waist, his body against mine. I heard the party continue behind us as I leaned up and kissed him. His hands tightened around my waist as he furthered the kiss. His tongue met mine and I tasted him as my hand made its way up behind his neck. I touched his hair, ran my fingers through it and moved my body against him. I could feel he was aroused against my bottom and I felt a fleeting moment of power.

There were cheers and laughter and our kiss broke apart. Tyler looked into my eyes, his own full of desire and he smiled in victory. He had finally got what he wanted.

“Go Tyler!” said someone as others laughed and continued to drink.

I didn’t say anything to him but awarded him with a small seductive smile, as I moved over to the drinks table. I poured myself a double shot of whiskey and gulped it down. I would try to move on tonight and see what happened. I didn’t know if my gaping, darkened heart would ever close up.

It wasn’t long before we were all in the ballroom downstairs, joining the the rest of our class friends. I danced that night and pretended to have fun with everyone, but I couldn’t help but feel a little hatred towards them all. I would never forget their treatment of me after the Antony fiasco, and I loathed their silly happiness. The reception room was beautiful and the food was nice, but I was just in a very bad place.

Tyler’s friend, Sam, who seemed to be getting pretty close with Sophie through the night, flashed a joint.

“Anyone interested?”

“I am,” I said instantly, following Sam out of the reception room.

I was soon dragging on his joint and sharing the night air with him.

Sam took a photo of us with our heads together, the joint hanging from his lips, while I pouted seductively into the camera, doing the devil sign with my hand.

When he posted it to Facebook and tagged me, I hoped that Zac saw it. I turned and saw a group walk past us and they looked like they were going to see a band. I watched them for a moment, wishing I was on my way to see a band too, instead of the farce of the ball.

Would Zac be there tonight watching the same band? Would he be drinking with Will and Noah and picking up a girl? Would he take her home to have his wicked way with her? Pain thumped me in the chest.

I dragged on his joint again, enjoying the hot smoke in my lungs. I felt it take the tension away as it seeped into my limbs and made me tingle and relax.

I noticed another group walk by, obviously heading to watch the same band, and then I realized that one of the people looked familiar.

He looked at me, paused, and then smirked. Max.

“Beautiful Ava,” he said breaking away from the group.

I knew I needed to stay away from him, but I wanted to touch a part of Zac’s life again.

“Hey,” I said narrowing my eyes, hating the fact he was using my nickname that only the guys and Janey used.

“You’re looking hot,” he said glancing at me up and down.

“Who’s that?” asked Sam.

He sauntered over to me, his smirk still in place.

“So what’s going on tonight?” he asked taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Graduation Ball,” I replied feeling a form of adrenaline rush through me.

This guy was forbidden and I suddenly wanted him to go back to Zac and tell him just how good I was doing without him.

“Congrats on graduating. Is this the new boyfriend?”

I glanced at Sam, trying not to laugh, and said, “No.”

“So, no more Zac then,” he stated, eyeing me closely.

His eyes were glassy, like he was on something. When he looked me up and down again, it made my skin crawl.

“No more Zac,” I answered.

“Maybe we could meet up somewhere one night, and see what happens,” he said next.

I didn’t answer him, because I truly wanted nothing to do with him.

“He’s moved on, you know,” he said, watching my reaction. “A different girl every night. You’re all forgotten.”

I swallowed a lump of emotion and tried not to choke on it. “I’m sure I am,” I said, trying to look calm and controlled.

“Come with me now. We’re on our way to a club. Leave your little high school gathering,” he offered with wickedness in his eyes.

I blinked tears away, hating to hear that I was forgotten and shook my head.

“I better not.”

He gave me a smug smile.

“Next time, maybe.”

“See you, Max,” I muttered, turning away into Tyler who had appeared behind me.

“Who was that?” he asked, watching Max walk away.

“No one,” I muttered, feeling two months of anguish and hurt sit heavily on my chest.

He was moving on with a different girl every night and I felt like screaming.

Tyler led me back inside and we headed towards the ballroom before I stopped suddenly. I swallowed hard.

“Let’s go back up to the suite,” I whispered desperately.

He suddenly grinned and then we were walking over to the elevators as he pressed the call button impatiently. I moistened my lips and waited, not knowing if I was doing the right thing or not. But I was hurting and I needed to move on, too.

We stepped into the elevator and he quickly jabbed the button for his floor before he leaned in and kissed me softly, obviously aiming for seduction. I wanted to tell him that I was a done deal, and that I was going to sleep with him regardless of his seduction routine. I wouldn’t feel anything, but I wanted to do it, to purge Zac from me.

We fell into his room, his lips upon mine and he stopped to close the door and lock it. I was soon back in his arms and I started to undo his tie, flinging it across the room with his shirt soon following. I ran my hands over his chest, feeling the soft skin with tight muscle underneath. He was well-defined and obviously worked out, but there were no tattoos, no permanent insights to his life. I tried not to think about another chest, another body that had been burned into my memory and senses.

I continued to kiss him, pushing up against him and feeling him completely ready for me. I unzipped his slacks and then looked down, taking a silent breath. I couldn’t do this. I wanted Zac so much it hurt. Hurt like hell. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run away.

As if sensing my change, Tyler pulled my chin up to look at me.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, his eyes showing his warmth and caring.

He wanted me so much, but he cared enough to stop to see if I was okay. I wasn’t. I never would be, ever again. I silenced any further questions with my lips, kissing him hungrily. I needed to forget and move on.

There was a sudden ringing and we sprung apart at the noise.

“What the hell is that?” he asked pulling his pants back up.

He went over to the door and opened it. We heard a loud alarm in the hallway and a robotic voice asking us to evacuate.

“Shit, there must be a fire or something,” he said running his hand through his hair. “Let’s go.”

I followed him back out where other guests were leaving their rooms and heading to the stairwell. Hotel workers were talking into walkie-talkies and directing us all out.

“What’s going on?” asked Tyler taking my hand.

“Fire alarm, sir, just this floor apparently. So, we’re evacuating to locate the problem. If it’s a false alarm, we will ensure that you will be quickly guided back to your suite.”

I numbly followed everyone downstairs, not feeling any panic like some of the other guests. Maybe I had to take it as a sign, that I was about to do something that I would regret. I made it out into the foyer with Tyler close behind me as my phone beeped. I pulled it from my bra and looked at the screen, my heart thumping as I saw the name. Will.

Will: Stay away from Max beautiful Ava…

News travelled fast. I wanted to answer him, wanted to talk to him. I missed them all like crazy. Will still cared about me.

“What’s happening?” asked Sophie coming over to me.

“Fire alarm,” I explained, still looking at Will’s text message.

She giggled as she leaned into me.

“So what were you two doing?”

I quickly closed the text message, so she couldn’t read it.

“Nothing.”

“Liar, your lipstick is missing,” she said with a laugh.

Her laugh grated on me and I looked over at Tyler. I didn’t want to be here.

Zac

I scanned through the five different screens in front of me as I typed in code quickly. One screen had the hotel plans, another had the hotel system up with all guest details. I typed more code and quickly shut off the fire alarm. Then I covered my tracks as I exited the system.

I knew where she was, and I knew what she was obviously going to do. The thought alone had crucified me. Pain had literally sliced me up from the inside. I couldn’t let her go, no matter how hard I tried.

I knew I couldn’t stop her from sleeping with Tyler, but I had hopefully put an end to it tonight. I went to shut down the screen that had the access to the hotel cameras and saw her again, amongst the commotion in the reception area.

She looked beautiful even through a black and white security camera. I ran my hand through my hair, pausing to take her in. She was walking outside with Tyler who was following closely behind her as she spoke to the porter. Tyler looked to be asking her to stay and she was saying goodbye as a taxi pulled up for her. He leaned in to kiss her goodnight and she returned the kiss for a moment before pulling away.

A new emotion reared up, to settle alongside my anger and jealousy. Satisfaction.

Ava

The next day I awoke to Sarah knocking on my door. I instantly felt disgusted seeing her happy face, and then I saw the roses in her hand.

“Delivery for you just arrived,” she said with a smile as she placed them on the bed in front of me. “Are they from Tyler?” she excitedly asked.

I checked the note.

To Ava,

Can’t wait to see you again.

Love Tyler xx

I confirmed they were and she beamed at me as I looked at the perfect roses. I should have felt lucky that I had such a perfect guy who sent me roses, but I only felt numb.

“Want me to put them in a vase?” she asked chirpily.

“Whatever,” I mumbled, covering my head with the comforter.

“Can we get rid of these dead lilies now?” she asked next.

“No!” I said forcefully. “I’m keeping them.”

I waited for the bedroom door to shut and then looked over at the dead orange flowers that I couldn’t bear to throw away. They had shriveled up and turned brown, fitting for how they represented my heart.

A couple of nights later, I found myself doing continuous tequila shots with Tyler at a club. I licked the salt off his body and sucked on the lemon in his mouth. I knew he was enjoying the attention as he drank along with me.

I needed to get messy tonight, to forget for a couple of hours. With Tyler’s seductive words and touches, I felt sexy and wanted. I had my high boots on over my tight black leather pants. His eyes twinkled with lust as he watched me dance.

Sophie and Sam danced beside me, kissing each other hungrily. I turned away, still a little annoyed at her revelation earlier. She had told everyone that Zac had come on to her the night we had gone to see a band and she denied his advances because of her friendship with me. The thought of him going after her made me feel sick, but I didn’t know if she was telling the truth.

I had decided to clear the thought from my mind by drinking copious amounts of tequila, but it wasn’t working.

A song came on with a low beat and I moved my hips in time, as Tyler came up behind me, running his hands possessively over me. I wiggled my hips against him, teasing him as he leaned down and kissed my neck. I closed my eyes, hoping the tequila would have taken the edge off my unhappiness, but he was still there in my mind, never far away.

I opened my eyes and saw a familiar face at the bar and I softly gasped. He was watching me as he sipped his drink, and he gave me a wicked knowing grin. I couldn’t help the burst of excitement within as I pulled out of Tyler’s embrace and headed straight over to him.

“Beautiful Ava,” grinned Will.

“Hi,” I said, instantly throwing my arms around him and hugging him.

He hugged me back.

“You’re looking every shade of hotness tonight.”

I smiled in delight.

“Why thank you.”

“Drink?”

“Sure,” I said, while looking around the club.

He ordered one for me and then turned back to me.

“He’s not here.”

“Why are you here? I thought this would be the last place you would come.”

He motioned over to the bar girl with red hair and tattoos.

“I’m picking my friend up. She finishes in five minutes.”

I looked over to the totally cool and alternative girl who was so unlike me. I looked back at him and smiled painfully. I had missed him so much.

“I see you’re with pretty boy,” he teased, passing me a drink. “All his wet dreams must have come true.”

I glanced down at the ice in my whiskey.

“How did you know about Max?”

He stopped teasing and looked serious for a moment.

“Word gets around.”

My eyes narrowed.

“I only talked to him.”

“You shouldn’t have even done that,” he said sipping his own drink.

“It doesn’t really matter anymore. I’m no longer with Zac,” I said looking up at him.

“You still need to stay away.”

I sipped my whiskey.

“How was the big Graduation Ball?” he asked with a cheeky wink.

My lips curled slightly.

“It was amazing,” I replied with heavy sarcasm.

He chuckled and sipped his drink, looking at me with knowing eyes.

“Your pretty boy is getting his knickers in a knot.”

I turned to look over at an annoyed Tyler and motioned that I would be two minutes. I didn’t want him over here, because I wanted to soak Will up for as long as I could.

“So I’m having a party next weekend for my birthday at Hell Nightclub, you should come,” said Will.

“I’d love to,” I said instantly.

“I’ll text you the details,” he said finishing his drink and nodding to the bar tender who was grabbing her bag.

He turned back to me and then looked over to Tyler.

“Well, enjoy the vodka cruisers and…dancing.”

I knew it was an inside joke and it reminded me of everything I was missing as tears pooled in my eyes. I suddenly didn’t want him to leave. I wanted my connection with my big Will with the tattoos on his neck and wicked humor. I wanted him to take me back to the group where I felt I belonged.

His eyes rested on me for a bit longer, and I was sure he could see my eyes pleading with him. He smiled with a little regret and maybe even sadness.

“Take care, beautiful Ava.”

He gave me a wink and then left with the girl as I let out a silent sigh. I wanted to follow him, ask him where they were going now. I turned back to see Tyler still watching me, and I motioned I was going to the restroom. I moved away into the crowd where he could no longer see me and then quickly ran through the club to the entrance and stepped outside.

With my heart racing, I looked up and down the street to see if I could find Will. Then I spotted his friend’s red hair as she crossed the street further down. I ran in my heels and stopped when I saw the black WRX across the road. My heart stopped entirely when I saw Zac leaning against it having a cigarette and laughing at something with them.

As if we were still attuned to each other, his eyes suddenly locked on mine. He looked surprised for a second before he frowned. It hurt to look at him but I still did. I took in his jeans and fitted black T-shirt, his strong arms and perfect body. I felt myself start to crumble as he stared at me in silence and I stared back.

I wanted to run away but also run over and kiss him senseless all at the same time. His eyes held me spellbound and I couldn’t move as all the hurt came flooding back. I felt paralyzed, not knowing whether to smile or cry.

His passenger door opened and I expected to see Noah, but to my dismay, a blonde girl got out. Unaware of what was going on, she went to him and snuggled up to him as she said something to the redhead.

Pain smacked me in the chest and I wanted to double over with its intensity. He had moved on. I was forgotten and there was the proof. I sobbed silently and turned away, blinking back my tears. I pushed my way through the smokers who were out on the pavement. I found my way back to the club. I didn’t even want to go back inside, even though I knew Tyler was waiting for me. Sweet, safe Tyler.

I wiped my tears and turned away from the club entrance and put my hand out for a taxi on the street. I just needed to get out of here altogether. A hand grabbed my arm and I turned to see Zac in front of me.

“Go back into the club with him. You shouldn’t be out here by yourself,” he said.

I looked into his eyes, not able to breathe and not able to look away. He had come after me.

“Why is he even letting you out of his sight?” he said next, anger in his eyes.

My phone started to ring and he let my arm go. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to see it was Tyler calling and I put it to my ear.

“Where are you?” asked Tyler.

“I’m outside,” I replied, ending the call.

Zac looked like he wanted to say something else, but he stopped himself. Then he ran his hand through his already messy hair. He turned to look at the entrance of the club and then back at me as my insides clenched at the sight of him.

I was angry and hurt and so happy to see him. He looked at me once more and then turned away and disappeared amongst the large group outside. I instantly felt bereft and wanted to run after him.

“What are you doing out here?” asked Tyler coming up to me.

I swallowed, “Having a smoke.”

“Are you done? It stinks out here,” he said taking my hand and leading me back inside.

I went back inside to the loud music and heard Tyler talking into my ear but I couldn’t make out his words. I looked at all the dancers in a daze, not really seeing any of them. I couldn’t comprehend Zac’s anger and his protectiveness. I longed to be back out there with him again, to have the opportunity to do it differently and actually talk to him. Nothing made sense anymore.

Tyler tried to pull me back onto the dance floor, but I refused this time. The music suddenly grated on my nerves along with the people.

This club didn’t make sense to me, and I longed to see a metal band in a small club filled with metal heads. I wanted that part of my life again where it was more dangerous but where I felt the safest.

Chapter Sixteen: Heaven and Hell

Ava

The week passed slowly and I tried not to think about him. I finished my last exam on Thursday night and felt like one big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was now free.

Tyler hated the idea of me going to Will’s birthday party and I was annoyed that he thought he had a say with any of it. I wanted to go. Hell, I needed to go.

I knew it meant I would be crushed if I saw Zac with his new girl, but like an addict, I no longer cared about the consequences. I still wanted to see him, and I wanted to hear his voice. I yearned to see him face to face again, because I was clearly crazy.

On the night of the party, I dressed up in a tight black dress with my boots and styled my hair in messy curls, ready to go to Hell.

As the four of us stepped into the club that night, I heard the heavy music and my blood started to zing. Zac and the boys were in here somewhere and I suddenly felt very excited. The dark heavy music thudded through me and I hid a smile because it felt like coming home.

We walked through the main crowded area, past people with piercings in all areas of their bodies, different colored hair and a myriad of tattoos. I headed towards the private function doorway and spotted Janey laughing with security.

She squealed in excitement as she saw me.

“Ava!”

She threw her arms around me and hugged me hard.

“I’ve missed you so freakin’ much!”

I laughed happily, and answered, “Me, too.”

She touched my hair.

“You look fucking hot!”

“So do you,” I laughed, realizing just how much I had missed her.

I was soon introducing her to Tyler, Sam, and Sophie. She didn’t miss Tyler’s hand take hold of mine. She looked at me and grinned before turning and motioning for us to follow her into a large room with a bar and a stage.

Dancers were dressed in S&M outfits, swinging on poles and dancing on podiums. I looked around in awe; the music even heavier in here. It was perfect for Will, and as I turned back to Tyler, I saw that he wasn’t comfortable. But before I could say anything, Janey was pulling me further away.

“Look who I found!” shouted Janey.

Will appeared in front of me with black devil horns.

“Beautiful Ava!”

“Happy Birthday,” I said hugging him.

“You look edible,” he said into my ear. “You’re going to kill him.”

He glanced over at Tyler and the others and sniggered at their obvious discomfort before giving me a wink as he turned to greet someone else.

Janey grabbed my hand again and pulled me away, over to the bar. She ordered a round of shots and turned to me.

“So, Tyler looks like a hottie.”

I looked over and saw him watching me as he talked to Sam. She passed me two shots.

“Is it serious?”

“He wants it to be,” I said downing the first shot.

“He doesn’t want to be here at all, does he?” she stated before downing her own shot.

I shook my head and downed the second shot.

“Where’s Zac?”

“He’s around,” she said lightly, not meeting my eyes.

“Beautiful Ava!” said Noah coming over and hugging me.

I hugged him tightly, having missed these guys like crazy.

“You’re here with pretty boy, I see,” he said motioning to the bartender and ordering more drinks. “He looks fucking over the moon to be here,” he said sarcastically, playing the drums on the bar to the heavy song playing.

I knew it, everyone knew it, but he wanted to come and I knew it was to keep an eye on me. He slugged back a shot and looked at me, his eyes assessing me for a moment. Did he realize I was only trying to fill the deep dark void that Zac had left in me? It wasn’t working, nothing would.

As if on cue, Tyler appeared beside me and put his arm around my waist possessively, pulling me to him. Noah pulled his shoulders back to his full six feet height and glared at Tyler. He looked quite menacing for a moment before he looked back at me.

He leaned over and whispered into my ear, “Good to see you again, Ava. You should stick around. We’ve all missed you.”

His words made me long for what I had before it all had gone wrong. I smiled up at him as he gave one more glare at Tyler before disappearing back into the crowd.

Janey caught my eye and winked at me cheekily before she turned to the others next to me.

“What are you guys drinking? Vodka cruisers?”

“I’d love a vodka cruiser,” Sophie piped up as I hid my own smile at Janey’s in-joke. Vodka Cruisers were for the young and uninitiated and had been a long standing joke within the group.

“Nothing for me,” said Tyler. “We’re leaving shortly.”

Janey turned back from the bar.

“You can’t go yet. We have so much to catch up on!”

The lights suddenly dimmed and a spotlight highlighted the stage across the room. Janey turned and whistled as girls clad in leather masks and nothing much else walked out to the beat of the music and started to dance. Everyone cheered with Will up at the front cheering the loudest.

Janey grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Tyler, leading me closer to the stage. I watched the girls dance down to Will and then they got him up on stage.

I laughed and clapped as they sat him down on a chair and started to dance around him. Some touched, others kissed, and others caressed him, while Will sported a grin from ear to ear. As the crowd cheered, I looked at their bodies, thinking how beautiful the girls looked. It was a lavish dance that was meant to induce lust, but there was nothing crass about it.

I went to smile at Janey and then caught the pair of deep brown eyes that I had been longing to see. He was off to the side, leaning against the wall, and sipping a beer. He watched me and looked like a dark devil.

My lips trembled at the sight of him and my skin tingled all over, my body still so attuned to him. The familiar sparks licked at my skin as his eyes bore into me knowingly. Everything around me fell away and it was just us.

I didn’t look away, I could only stare back at him, with lust and a little defiance in my eyes. He continued to watch, and his eyes heated me up to the boiling point, but I wasn’t going to look away first as his eyes challenged me further. I slowly moistened my lips and he couldn’t help but watch the trail of my tongue as it darted out. I smiled a little, the vixen in me feeling powerful.

He sipped his beer and then looked past me with a sudden scowl.

“You ready to go?” asked Tyler into my ear.

I jumped slightly and tried to focus on him. Tyler. He wanted to go. I shook my head.

“I don’t want to go yet.”

“Everybody else does,” he said back into my ear.

I looked toward the direction where Zac had been standing, but he had disappeared from his spot and was nowhere to be seen.

“But these are my friends and I want to stay.”

“We’re your friends too, Ava,” said Tyler annoyed. “Sophie’s uncomfortable and so am I.”

“I want to stay, Tyler,” I said determinedly. “Just go and I’ll meet up with you later.”

“That’s just great,” he said shaking his head. “I knew you would do this!”

“I haven’t done anything,” I said back to him, angry now. “I’m seeing friends I haven’t seen in a while!”

“Friends that dumped you the minute he left you!” he shouted.

“That’s got nothing to do with you!”

“It has everything to do with me,” he snapped. “I was there from the start, remember? When you were so fucking heartbroken you wouldn’t even talk!”

I pulled back from his anger, disbelief in my eyes.

“You’ve been waiting for this. Waiting to see him again. Everything else between you and me has been a load of shit!”

I gasped.

“Say it!” he said to me angrily. “Admit it, Ava!”

Everyone cheered around us as the floor show ended and Will jumped down from the stage. Heavy music returned and people started to move to it around us.

“Have you seen him? Is he here tonight?” asked Tyler suddenly.

“Just go, Tyler,” I shouted.

“You have, haven’t you? You’ve seen him. That’s why you want me to go!”

“Everything okay?” asked Will coming up beside me and looking at Tyler.

He was no longer smiling.

“Everything’s just fucking great,” returned Tyler eyeing him with anger.

Then he turned around and walked away.

I felt angry and annoyed at myself for upsetting Tyler, because he had been nothing but sweet to me, and I repaid him like this. I went to follow him and Janey grabbed my arm.

“Let him go and have some fun with us.”

I was torn. I wanted to go wild and have fun with Janey, while my conscience demanded I follow Tyler.

“I’ll be back,” I said to them both as I quickly pushed my way through the dance floor. I caught up with them at the door as they were leaving.

“Tyler,” I said, grabbing his arm.

He turned to me, hurt in his eyes mixed with anger.

“I’ll meet you at Salt in an hour,” I confirmed to him. “I’ll have a few drinks with Janey and then I’ll come to you.”

“Whatever you like,” he answered. “I don’t care anymore.”

I felt like the worse type of friend imaginable, because he had finally had too much of me.

Looking defeated, he said softly, “Call me when you finish here, and I’ll come and meet you.”

I nodded as I watched him walk away and then stop.

“Just remember what he did to you and how fucked everything has been for you, Ava. We are good together,” he confirmed leaning down to kiss me once on the lips.

I watched them leave, feeling terribly confused. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. These two worlds didn’t mix.

“He’s kind of sexy when he’s all angry and pouty,” said Janey next to me.

I glanced at her and then couldn’t help but smile.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

“Tell me about it. I’ve been dying to hang out with you again,” she said putting her arm around me. “Let’s have some fun.”

I was soon downing another shot with her and lining up another one. We then headed up to the small roof terrace where groups were standing around and smoking. Janey lit up a joint, passed it to me, and I dragged on it, feeling the welcome numbness.

“So he really likes you, huh?” she asked looking out over the city.

“Yeah, but I don’t deserve him.”

“Why?”

I took another drag.

“Because he’s waiting for me to fall for him. He’s the perfect guy, but it feels like I’m only using him to try and get over Zac.”

“Is it working?”

I shook my head with resignation as Noah appeared beside us. He took a swig directly out of a vodka bottle and silently passed it to me. I took a swig and then passed it to Janey.

“Where did you swipe this from?” asked Janey taking a swig.

“Bar girl wants me,” he grinned, looking at me. “Where did pretty boy go?”

“They’ve gone to Salt. I’m going to meet them in an hour,” I said taking another swig of the vodka that Janey passed back. “Where’s Zac?”

Noah shrugged and looked at Janey.

“Not too sure.”

“Liar,” I said taking another swig.

“So how’s Antony and Nathan doing?” he asked next.

“Reputations are ruined. I never got a chance to thank you.”

He chuckled and took another swig of the bottle.

“Zac was the mastermind, but I’m glad it helped.”

A guy came over to Noah and looked me up and down.

“Who’s this gorgeous creature, Noah?”

“Zac’s,” said Noah firmly. “How you doing, Joel?”

I listened to their conversation, my eyes narrowing on Noah. I was no longer Zac’s. I knew it and he knew it, so why couldn’t this guy think of me as a gorgeous creature? I swigged once more on the vodka bottle and eyed Joel. He smiled at me in mid-conversation with Noah.

“The whole vodka bottle, huh?” he said to me.

“Want some?” I asked seductively.

“Of course,” he said moving across to me and taking the bottle from me, his fingers deliberately touching mine.

I watched him take a drink as I put the joint to my lips. He studied me with keen interest.

“So you’re Zac’s?”

I shook my head and savored the smoke in my lungs before I blew it out.

“Not anymore. Noah’s living in the past.”

“Really?” he said looking to Noah for confirmation.

Noah shook his head and gave him a warning look.

“I’m Ava,” I said, moistening my lips.

“Nice to meet you, Ava,” he said taking my hand and kissing it slowly.

We both grinned at each other, playing a flirting game and enjoying it.

“Get your hand off her, Joel, before I break every fucking finger,” said a husky but angry voice out of nowhere.

I turned and saw Zac standing beside me and then promptly giggled. I didn’t know if it was the joint or just the situation, but I felt a nervous anxiety start to choke me. I shook my head and stood back from Joel. He had dumped me and was still being possessive. It didn’t make any sense.

“Sorry, man,” said Joel putting his hands up slightly.

“I’m not his,” I said flicking my joint away, no longer giggling. “Not anymore,” I added.

I glared at him in defiance as I leaned my back against the railing of the roof terrace.

Zac was suddenly in front of me, looking into my eyes as he put both hands on either side of me on the railing. He blocked me in. The city was behind me and we were suddenly alone as he stared at me.

I swallowed and glared back at him.

“A little possessive, aren’t you? Especially when I’m no longer with you.”

He didn’t answer.

“Where’s your latest blonde?” I asked next, trying to fill the tension-filled silence between us.

The drugs and alcohol had made me feisty.

“I see yours has gone and left you alone,” he returned darkly.

“I’m meeting him at another club,” I returned.

“Couldn’t handle it?”

“He can handle a lot of things,” I said boldly.

He could take that in whatever way he wanted. I saw the fire in his eyes and took satisfaction from it.

“He lets you handle things, like the puppy dog he is,” he said unevenly.

“I’ve been with him enough to know he isn’t a puppy dog,” I said brazenly.

The fire in his eyes burned out of control.

“So he finally got what he wanted,” he said perceptively.

No he hadn’t.

“That’s none of your business anymore, is it Zac?”

“Does he let you take control?” he asked moving even closer to me so our noses touched. “Does he give you the kind of pleasure that only I know you like?”

I swallowed again, this time my breathing became shallow. My skin was on fire and I needed to escape. The long drop behind me suddenly felt like the safer option than staying here in his intentional tormenting prison.

“Stop,” I whispered.

“Never,” he said brutally. “I want to find him and kill him. I thought of all the ways I could do it to him over the last two months.”

“You dumped me!” I said violently, the tension releasing in anger. “You don’t get to do anything anymore! You basically put us together!”

“I wanted someone to look after you,” he growled. “I thought he would.”

“He is,” I said gritting my teeth.

He shook his head and growled, “The fool left you here, with me.”

I tried to process his words. I had so much to say, but I didn’t know where to start. I let out a small uncontrollable soft sob instead.

“Why…why did you end it with me?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” he said huskily.

“It does. Was I that pathetic that you could just forget me so easily? Did I bore you that much?”

“You never bored me,” he responded gruffly.

“So I just wasn’t enough for you then?” I asked, with hurt lacing my voice.

He swore under his breath and he gripped the railing tightly.

“You were more than enough.”

“So why?” I pleaded in a whisper. “Why did you break my heart?”

“You’re better off with someone like Tyler, not me,” he said harshly. “I’ve said this before, I’m fucking wrong for you.”

“You’re a walking contradiction! How can you say that when we have…this connection between us?” I pleaded.

He was silent.

I blinked back tears, annoyed that I was pleading with him like this.

“I hate you,” I whispered, shaking my head.

“Good, you’re meant to,” he admitted hoarsely.

He came up against me so our bodies were together. My toes curled in anticipation at his closeness. I could feel his breath on my face and my muscles weakened with longing. I shouldn’t be here like this, because Tyler was waiting for me, but I couldn’t move away, let alone walk.

He lowered his head further.

“You need to hate me and then forget me,” he said, his lips barely moving.

I couldn’t breathe as I looked into his eyes.

“That was the plan anyway,” he murmured.

My heart beat faster and all I could think about was how much I needed to kiss him right now. His fingers skimmed my arm and the sensation rocked through me. His eyes delved into my soul.

“You found the envelope,” he whispered next.

I gasped.

“How do you know?”

“I can see the pain in your eyes.”

I wanted to cry and scream and fall into a heap. I didn’t understand why this guy who knew me so well didn’t want me anymore. I couldn’t think of my mother and the pain I held deep inside me. Without another thought, I brought my lips into contact with his, not wanting to talk about it or think about it.

I closed my eyes and felt the warmth of his kiss, his insistent lips and tongue taking over. He demanded exactly what I wanted and I melted against him. My body thrummed with excitement, like it had been starved for months. I was finally getting what I needed.

I felt the tension coiled in his body and the pressure of his mouth increased as his tongue teased me erotically. I physically trembled against him as I leaned back on the railing. I drew him to me, tempting fate and hoped the railing would hold me. And then I no longer cared as he kissed me so deeply, I wanted to weep in lust and happiness.

I had been starved from him and my body cried out for him with such shattering intensity that I nearly fainted.

He suddenly stepped back and didn’t look at me.

“Go back to Tyler,” he said, his voice rough.

I let out a sob, hurt crushing my chest.

“I don’t want him,” I gasped.

“Jesus, Ava, just do it,” he said emotionally.

Then he turned back around and stormed away back into the club.

I let out another sob in despair and turned away. I looked out over the city but saw nothing. I tried to remember to breathe as my hands shook from the intensity between us. He was a mass of contradictions, and I was so confused that I wanted to curl up into a ball and scream.

We had such a connection, such chemistry, and I knew I hadn’t felt anything like that with Tyler. He was the only one for me and I couldn’t have him. I squeezed my eyes shut.

My phone vibrated against me. I re-opened my eyes and numbly looked at the screen. Tyler.

Tyler: I’m here. Where are you?

I closed my eyes again. Part of me wanted to tell him to go away and I felt terrible.

Janey appeared beside me.

“Tyler’s here,” she said softly, touching my arm.

I nodded and turned to her. My eyes must have shown my utter despair at the situation, because she pulled me to her and hugged me tight.

Zac

I watched her walk through the club towards Tyler, looking pale and a little shaken. I had done that to her and I was a fucking idiot. I should have kept my distance, and I definitely shouldn’t have kissed those sweet lips.

I watched her take a breath and put on a smile for Tyler as she reached him. He put his arm around her and pulled her to him, the affection all one-sided. Had she really slept with him?

Pain lanced at me as he leaned down and kissed her lips, the same lips I had just touched. Janey said something to the two of them and Tyler gave her a smile and went to take Ava away.

Ava looked back at Janey with tears in her eyes, and her look destroyed me. I watched her walk out of the club. Tyler led her away from me. I had done this. She was holding his hand now because of me.

He got to take her home tonight because of me.

“She’s not fucking happy, Zac, and neither are you,” said Janey appearing at my side. “She’s clearly still yours. Do something about it.”

I couldn’t go back on my plan now. I needed her to hate me and move on.

Chapter Seventeen: Girls Night

Ava

I sat in a darkened cinema and pretended to watch a movie with Tyler sitting beside me. Sophie and Sam sat on the other side of him, quietly giggling together as they passionately kissed their way through it. I rolled my eyes at their noises, not knowing how I would survive the rest of the movie.

My phone vibrated and I looked down to see it was a text from Janey.

Janey: Hey girly – what are you up to?

Ava: At movies

Janey: Awww, are you on a date?

Ava: Shut up

Janey: So is he any good? (wink wink)

She was assuming that I had slept with him and I knew that if things were different, I probably would have by now. But ever since the night of the fire alarm, I hadn’t wanted to. We had kissed and done other stuff, but I couldn’t have sex with him, not yet anyway. I knew the void that Zac had left in my heart would never be repaired, no matter what I did to get over him.

Ava: He’s fine

Janey: Are we talking just fine or so fine that it makes your toes curl? We girls have to celebrate when we find someone who knows what he’s doing...

I thought of Zac and the things he could do to me. I remembered the heights of dizzying pleasure he had induced. Familiar pain made me wince.

Ava: I’ll let you know when it happens

Janey: Would never have picked him for a saint!! Anyways - tomorrow night, Academy, HiFi bar – you in?

Ava: Does Zac know you’re inviting me?

Janey: No. But I’m not going with them. I want to have a night out with you. Can your boyfriend survive without you for one night?

He wasn’t my boyfriend. I replied within an instant.

Ava: I’m in

Janey: Yay! I’ll be at your place around 9.00

I smiled happily, suddenly looking forward to tomorrow night.

Zac

I dragged on a joint as I leaned back on the deck chair and looked up at the night sky. It had been four days since I had seen her at Will’s party, and I had kept clear of any type of hacking of her life. I had to give her up, because I didn’t trust myself to be around her anymore.

She was my drug that seemed to sing to my soul and everything felt a hundred times better when she was around. I wanted to help her with the pain of her mother’s death, wanted to make everything better, but I couldn’t. I only made things worse. I brooded over the idea of Tyler being the one to comfort her when she found out about her mother. Then, knowing her, she might not have even told anyone. She was the only one who was capable of making me feel. The only one to calm my inner turmoil, and the only one I truly cherished with my life.

I took a swig of the vodka bottle in my hand, trying to further numb my mind.

“You want some ice with that?” asked Noah.

I took another swig of the bottle and ignored him. Noah sat down on the deck chair next to me. With a sigh, I watched Will and Janey walk over to us.

“You two going out?” asked Noah.

Janey shook her head.

“Nope, I’m just here picking up Academy tickets for tomorrow night.”

“She’s bringing a date apparently,” mumbled Will.

“Someone sounds pissy,” chuckled Noah.

“He’s pissy, because I won’t tell him who my date is,” smiled Janey.

“If he’s a douche, I’m going to beat him up,” said Will lighting a cigarette.

Janey leaned in to smooch his neck.

“I love it when you’re jealous.”

“So come with me to Academy,” he responded.

“Surely your little redheaded skank wouldn’t like that,” she answered, lighting up a cigarette as well.

Noah chuckled.

“She’s got you there.”

“We’re not fucking dating,” said Will.

“Just fucking,” laughed Noah.

“Speaking of…,” said Janey, her eyes settling directly onto me. “The beautiful girl who shall remain nameless but is on everyone’s lips...”

My eyes darted to her.

“…isn’t doing what Will here is doing with his redheaded skank,” she said licking her lip.

“Really?” asked Noah.

“Mr. Footballer is obviously a saint or very, very patient,” she said with a tormenting smirk.

“That’s a douche I’d like to beat up,” added Will.

“He’s only going after what he wants,” she said glaring at me. “Unlike some people I know.”

“As subtle as a freight train, as always,” expressed Noah with a smile.

Janey grinned.

“Someone needs to be. See you guys later.”

I watched her walk away, not able to ignore the small shard of happiness I felt at her news. What the fuck was pretty boy waiting for? Or was she stopping things from progressing? Whatever it was, I hoped it continued.

“I’m ready if your date is a douche,” said Will clenching his fists.

“You won’t need to be,” she called out. “I think this one is ‘the one.’”

“Fuck me,” said Will under his breath.

Ava

Tyler had asked me about my plans for tonight, and I had told him I was going out with Janey. He hadn’t seemed too happy about it, but was planning a boy’s night anyway. He wanted me to take Sophie, and I knew it was to keep an eye on me, so I refused. I told him the band was too hard core for her.

I was ready for Janey when she arrived in a taxi at 9:00 p.m.

“I don’t think I’m going to cope too well if he’s there tonight with one of his blondes,” I said looking out the taxi window.

“It’s a possibility,” she said checking her phone. “But don’t worry, the minute he sees you, she may as well disappear.”

“I just don’t get it. Why would he dump me, but he still wants me?”

“He cares too much,” she said looking out of her own window.

I turned to her, my eyes narrowing.

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“He’s got commitment issues like me. My shrink tells me it’s from my broken past. We’ve both learned how to survive without trusting anyone,” she said lowering her eyes. “We’re terrified of getting hurt.”

I stopped for a moment to think about a younger Zac, taking care of his sister, as his own mother wrote them off. I wanted him to know that he could trust me and that I would never hurt him.

“I still don’t understand why he would want me to be with someone else,” I murmured quietly.

“I know it sounds crazy, but it’s just the way we are. We haven’t lived a normal life, Ava. We’ve been cheated on so many things and we’ve learned to survive the only way we know how. He thinks you deserve better.”

I leaned my head back on the seat.

“So it’s not that he lost interest or that I wasn’t enough. It was because he thinks I deserve better.”

“Right,” she confirmed with a small smile.

“That’s ridiculous,” I whispered.

“Ava, I warned you. I told you not to let him break your heart.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to make sense of everything.

“You won’t change him. I know you wished you had while you were together. But he’ll do everything in his power to make you move on now. He strongly wants to make you believe that he doesn’t care. You think deep down he really wants you with Tyler?”

I swallowed. It was all too crazy for me to comprehend. Why couldn’t he just want me and have me like a normal relationship?

“Anyway, let’s stop talking about my deranged family and lighten the mood. Want some coke?” she whispered pulling out a capsule from her pocket.

We entered the club with smiles on our faces and headed straight to the bar. I was three shots in before I spotted Will. He came straight over and kissed us both in welcome and looked into Janey’s eyes to see her dilated pupils.

“Where is he?” he asked stepping closer to her.

“Don’t know who ‘he’ is,” she returned teasingly.

“Your douche of a date,” he said leaning in very close to her lips.

He paused for a moment and then turned to me.

“Beautiful Ava is your date?”

Janey giggled.

“I’ve scored a very hot date,” she said into his ear.

He chuckled.

“You have, but don’t tell the Zac man I said that.”

I tried to lean in closer to hear what they were saying, especially when I heard Zac’s name.

“Thought you were off the coke,” he said next.

“Little bit with Ava doesn’t hurt,” she said leaning in to kiss his neck.

“I want some,” he said moving his hand to the back of her neck and returning the kiss.

I looked around the club to give them privacy, curious if Zac was here yet. I heard more giggling beside me and stepped away from the bar with my shot. The place was buzzing with noise and laughter as people stood around drinking and shouting as they waited for Academy to come on stage. A couple of guys walked past, trying to meet my eyes but I looked away. I drank my shot and looked up at the stage, knowing I had missed this.

Janey suddenly grabbed my hand.

“Let’s go,” she said with a wink as she pulled me away.

We followed Will over to the restroom area and then went straight into the female toilets as Will stopped to talk to someone. Janey found an empty stall and pulled me in. I leaned against the stall’s wall and watched Janey get her capsule out, ready for Will.

“I told him I had a date tonight,” she smiled. “He’s a lot happier now that he knows it’s you.”

“You big tease.”

“You know it,” she said as we high-fived each other.

Will appeared inside the female’s restroom area, winking at two girls who were washing their hands at the basin. He came in and went to close the stall door, but it was stopped as someone else joined us.

Zac.

He stepped in and then his eyes met mine in surprise.

“Girls night out,” explained Janey passing the capsule to Will. “She’s here with me, not for you.”

Zac closed the door behind him, still looking at me as he flicked the lock. Will chuckled and opened the capsule, pulling the mini spoon out and sniffing one into each nostril.

“Zac! Are you in here?” called a girl’s whiny voice.

Zac rolled his eyes as Will started to laugh.

“No,” he replied looking at me.

“Let me in. I want some, too,” she said knocking on the door.

“Can’t,” he said still looking at me. “Cubicle’s full.”

“Oh, come on, Zac,” she whined.

Janey laughed and looked at me.

“He’s too busy, so fuck off!”

“Screw you, Zac,” the girl called out angrily.

“He’s been there and done that,” chuckled Will under his breath.

Zac glared at him and then back at me as we all went silent at his comment. I knew Zac’s lifestyle and I wanted to laugh out loud at them for feeling like they had to hide it all of a sudden. We were no longer together and it shouldn’t have meant anything to me. I couldn’t show how much it did actually hurt. My chest burned at the thought of the girl with the whiny voice being with him.

“I don’t know what he sees in his blondes,” I announced mockingly, not meeting his eyes as I looked down at the empty shot glass still in my hand.

“I’m trying to break my addiction to black-haired angels,” he answered dryly.

My heart beat fast and wildly, but I still didn’t look at him, because I knew if I did, I would throw myself at him.

Will leaned into me and took my shot glass away, replacing it with the cocaine capsule.

“Here, beautiful Ava. The rest is for you and the Zac man.”

He winked at me and then slipped out of the cubicle with Janey, closing the door behind them.

I heard Zac flick the lock as I looked down at the capsule in my hand. I’d had some in the taxi earlier and didn’t feel like I needed anymore. My only drug of choice was standing in the stall right now watching me. I felt emotional and a little crazy. I knew that I couldn’t show him that. I took a breath and then passed it to him with a quick glance.

“You have the rest.”

He didn’t take the capsule straight away. He only looked at it and then stepped closer to me.

“How much of it have you had?”

I swallowed and weakly answered, “Enough.”

He took the capsule from me but held onto my fingers.

“Coke and Janey don’t really mix well,” he murmured with dark eyes.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” I said coolly, moving my fingers out of his grasp.

He stepped even closer to me and his leg grazed against mine, his eyes unrelenting. I moistened my lips, feeling the heady power coming from him. I knew I wanted him to look at me like that forever.

“What are you doing here, Ava?” he asked huskily, his eyes suddenly full of torment, before he quickly hid it.

“Having a girl’s night,” I said with burning defiance in my eyes. “And I like Academy.”

He gave me a taunting look as he leaned in even closer to me watching me swallow nervously with anticipation. His hand reached up to pull my hair back from my neck and my skin burned at the touch of his fingers. He leaned down and softly kissed my neck and I wanted to close my eyes from the pleasure.

I caught my breath as I heard him whisper, “You smell so damn good.”

His words and soft lips felt amazing, and when I felt his warm tongue against my skin, I started to tremble.

I dropped my head back against the cubicle wall, and my whole body now burned inside in flames as his lips and tongue teased me. I heard a soft groan and I didn’t know if I had made the sound or if he did. His mouth was then making its way up my neck, slowly towards my mouth where I was ready for him as it met mine. My arms went around his neck and he pulled one of my legs up and around his waist as he kissed me hard, all gentleness gone.

He picked me up, cupping my bottom with his hands and held me in his strong arms. I kissed him back hungrily, squeezing my legs around him tightly, lost in a haze of desire and need. My body yearned for his taste and for his skin. I ran my hand through his hair, gripping it roughly, and feeling like I was going to erupt into flames.

There was a bang on the door.

“Can you hurry up in there? All the stalls are full!” said a female voice.

Zac swore and I smiled against his lips as I slowly unwrapped my legs from him, and untangled myself from his amazing hard body.

He gripped my bottom and gently put me down. His eyes burned into me as another loud knock broke the moment. Zac sighed in frustration and opened the door to the stall. He glared at the annoyed girl.

“Academy is about to start. Hurry the fuck up.”

I laughed as I moved out of the stall and saw the line of girls, waiting their turn. They all glared at me and then started to smile when they caught a look of Zac behind me. I quickly headed outside, not waiting for him as I went to find Janey at the bar. There were even more people in the crowd now. As I weaved my way through, I came across Noah.

“Hey you,” he said over the noise of the crowd as he put his arm around me, “Who are you running from?”

I leaned into him affectionately.

“Just heading to hook up with Janey at the bar.”

“We’re going in,” said the guy beside him, motioning to the mosh.

Noah gave a nod.

“Coming.”

He let me go with a wink.

“Stay back tonight. It’s going to get crazy in here,” he said disappearing into the crowd.

As I reached Janey at the bar, she passed me another shot and then Academy came on stage and there was a huge roar from the crowd. Will disappeared into the crowd to get into the mosh pit as well and I looked around for Zac but couldn’t see him.

Janey turned to me.

“Want to mosh?” she shouted.

“I’m a mosh virgin,” I laughed.

She grabbed my hand.

“Let’s pop your cherry! Keep with me and whatever you do, don’t lose your balance.”

“And if I do?” I shouted suddenly worried.

“You’ll go down and be trampled on,” she called out over her shoulder. “And don’t go near the circle pit. Once those guys get going, fists start flying and you’ll be seriously hurt.”

“Circle pit?” I asked not knowing what she meant, but I let her lead me through the crowd.

Seriously hurt? Did I really want to do this?

“Put your phone and things down your pants,” she called out next.

I quickly did it and we started to weave our way in and around people trying to get to the stage. Guys looked me over appreciatively, while others deliberately didn’t move to let me through. They were forcing me to rub myself up against them to get past.

It started to get hotter and sweatier as we pushed in further. Then the band started their first song. The crowd went wild and I was suddenly pushed and shoved. Janey looked back at me and laughed, still pulling me forward.

I strained against the bodies, trying to find my feet as bodies got thicker and harder to move against. I hoped to god I didn’t pass out.

I looked up to see we were close to the stage and I looked up at the band in awe. Everyone jumped and banged their heads to the song, screaming along with the lyrics. I was soon tightly packed in with Janey. I felt the crowd swerve to the right. I grabbed onto Janey as I nearly lost my balance. My body was being moved but my feet were stuck in the same position.

“Just go with it!” she screamed into my ear.

She put her hands up in the air and moved her head to the music.

My arms were stuck to me, the bodies beside me were forcing them down. I gradually managed to get them free and stuck them up in the air. The song ended and everyone cheered and whistled.

Another song started and they went wilder. A body flew over the top of my head and I realized they were all starting to crowd surf. Everyone around me started to push and shove each other, and I suddenly felt scared. I couldn’t move, even if I wanted to go back now. I was in too tight.

I spotted Will at the front and I saw him going around in a circle. The circle pit was a bunch of guys going crazy in a fast whirlpool inside the mosh pit. They all pushed and shoved each other as they went around.

My feet were still stuck like glue and I tried to put my arms down and hold onto something. Janey squealed in laughter as she was lifted up by a guy and then thrown on top of the crowd. Her body was taken over the crowd, and I lost sight of her. I gasped for air, hoping that they didn’t do that to me.

I tried to move back but came up against a wall of thrashing bodies. I was stuck and I suddenly wanted to scream.

The next song was even faster. The singer screamed his words and they all went wilder. I tried to get air and lifted my head up to look at the ceiling. I was going to pass out and then I would be trampled on.

An arm of steel went around my waist and shoved me back against a warm wall of hard body.

“What the fuck are you doing, Ava?” shouted Zac into my ear.

I couldn’t answer him as I held onto his strong arm as he shoved his way back through the bodies, pulling me out. Another body went flying over me and Zac put his other arm up to protect me from getting a boot in the face.

He trawled me out and then I felt air and gasped for some in my lungs. It wasn’t fresh, but it was there. He spun me around in his arms.

“What were you fucking thinking?” he shouted into my face.

He was furious.

I gasped for air and shook my head. I was too hot and weak to answer him, so I did the only thing I could do. I giggled. He looked at me in bewilderment and I giggled more and fell into him. I nuzzled my face into his neck. His arms made their way around my back and then his hand nestled into my hair. He gently tugged my hair, forcing my head back so I had to look at him.

“No moshing,” he shouted.

I pouted my bottom lip at him, my eyes twinkling playfully at him.

“You’ll fucking get hurt,” he said seriously. “And I’ll have to kill everyone in there who touches you.”

“Why?” I shouted, all playfulness gone. “I’m not yours anymore, remember?”

He answered with a hard kiss against my mouth, his tongue tangling with mine. He pulled me roughly against him and I once again felt the stirrings of a primitive and urgent desire. I swept my hands up around his neck, grasping onto his hair at the nape of his neck. I leaned back a little as he devoured me, his strong arms holding me tightly.

He suddenly pulled away from me, and his eyes looked black and intense. He looked to be trying to get himself under control as he looked over at the band and let me go.

My chest was rising and falling quickly as I tried to stop my panting. I wanted him so badly it was hurting me. Why was he stopping?

He turned to me, his eyes full of steel.

“Stay out of the mosh,” he shouted, and then he suddenly disappeared into the crowd.

I groaned in frustration at him leaving me standing there and turned to head for the restroom again. Once inside, I looked at myself in the mirror and gasped. I looked hot and not in a good way, so I put my hands under the tap and then put them behind my neck to cool myself down. I wiped under my eyes where my eye makeup had smudged and then ran wet hands through my hair to tame it down. I was a wreck, and he had made me crazy.

My phone vibrated in my jeans and I pulled it out. Tyler.

I groaned softly and contemplated whether to answer it or not. He wasn’t meant to be a part of this night, but I felt guilty as I looked down at his name. With resignation, I leaned against the sink and put the phone to my ear.

“Hey.”

“Oh, hey, we’ll be going past HiFi soon. Thought I’d see if you needed a lift home.”

I closed my eyes at his thoughtful but annoying attempt at keeping me away from Zac.

“I’m okay. I’ll go home with Janey as planned.”

“Maybe we’ll come in and have a drink with you guys.”

I mouthed a swear word and rolled my eyes.

“It’s sold out.”

“I’ll ask at the door.”

The restroom door swung open and Janey stomped in, the music blaring into the quiet space.

“You okay?”

I nodded with the phone in my hand and then ended the call.

“It’s fucking nuts out there! You’re missing out in here!” she said leaning in to grab my hand and pulling me back out.

The crowd seemed even wilder and as she pulled me back in, I remembered Zac’s warning of no moshing. Where was he? Was he still in the mosh pit? Would Tyler manage to get in? Janey pulled me in further and I gritted my teeth and pushed my way in.

Zac

I pushed my way out of the crowd and scanned the club for Ava, tension making me climb up near the speakers to get a proper view. Part of me hoped she had gone home, because she was just too much of a temptation. I only had so much self-control left before I took everything that I wanted.

I scanned the crowd hoping to god that she hadn’t gone back into the mosh, knowing I would break every limb of anyone who touched her in there. I looked back to the bar and paused at the sight of Tyler standing there with two friends. What the hell was he doing here? He was obviously checking up on what he thought belonged to him. I wanted to suddenly set him straight. Tyler hadn’t seen me yet, and I could tell he was looking around for her as his friends looked around. They were trying their hardest not to look uncomfortable.

Tyler’s stance changed and he said something to his friend and pointed. I looked over to where he was pointing and saw Ava and Janey climbing up on the other side of the room. They were both laughing and moving fast to the kick drums with their arms up in the air. I stopped breathing for a moment as I watched her laugh and shake her head with the music. She was fucking beautiful.

Tyler moved closer, waving his arms at her, but she was too engrossed in the band to see him. I watched her flick her hair back and sing along to the chorus with her hands up in the air doing the devil sign.

The thought of her listening to Academy and learning the words made me happy. I watched her tight T-shirt ride up as she lifted her arms to show her flat tanned stomach. I felt like going over and claiming her right then. She would always be mine. What the fuck had I been thinking?

So I wasn’t up to standard and didn’t fit the ideal mold, but I would love her like my life depended on it. Wasn’t that enough? Fuck, did I just say love? No way.

I looked back over to Tyler, knowing pretty boy would love her and be more than enough. The panic on Tyler’s face registered with me and I glanced back over at Ava.

Before I knew it, Janey had taken Ava’s hand and climbed up a little further against the speakers. I knew instantly that they were planning to jump and crowd surf. Ava had a wickedness in her eyes that no one would be able to control. I didn’t panic. I watched instead, completely smitten with my wild cat.

They both then jumped into the sea of bodies as hands reached up from everywhere to move them across the crowd. I didn’t want to focus on the hands going for free grabs, but I was relieved to see Noah in the center, helping her across. I turned and saw Tyler almost bursting a blood vessel. I looked on, highly amused. She was hard core and there was nothing pretty boy could do about it.

Ava

I could see security were at the front of the stage, pulling the crowd surfers over the barrier as I moved across, a hundred hands on me. I looked up at the ceiling and laughed. I had done it and it had felt amazing. The crowd was one big heaving mass of hands that threw me around and I felt excited and alive.

I got to the front and Noah was there, grabbing me before security could get at me. He pulled me down at the front and protected me from the mosh by pulling me against him. His body was a barrier to the worst of it, and I could see Will doing the same for Janey. I caught Janey’s attention for a second and laughed in excitement. She cheered before we were shoved further away from each other.

I held onto Noah’s arms that were across me to steady myself as we were pushed and shoved every which way. The band wanted more from the crowd and enticed more energy and screaming from everyone by playing a favorite. I screamed along with everyone else and threw my hands up in the air, letting out all of my frustrations. Knowing I was safe in Noah’s arms, I planned to enjoy the rest of the set.

As the band left the stage later that night, the crowd slowly started to disperse. I saw clothes and odd shoes on the dirty floor. I slowly unstuck my sweaty self from Noah and burst out laughing at the grossness of it all. He was already soaked, so he didn’t appear to mind in the slightest.

“Thanks for looking after me,” I said suddenly hugging him.

He laughed and said, “Anytime! Let’s get you a drink.”

He took my hand and pulled me through the moving crowd in the direction of the bar. I felt hot and sweaty and thoroughly happy. I had survived a hard core mosh pit.

I saw Zac first and gave him the devil sign as I stuck my tongue out. He shook his head and actually chuckled in amusement. I laughed happily, wanting to go to him and kiss him senseless.

Noah stopped suddenly and I bumped into him as I felt him squeeze my hand. I locked eyes on Tyler who was standing at the bar with Sam and his friend, Jason. He looked furious.

“For fuck’s sake,” I breathed as Noah let my hand go.

I slowly made my way over to Tyler, shoving my wet hair back.

“What are you doing, Ava?” he asked as I reached him. “You could have killed yourself in there.”

“Noah protected me,” I said with a dry mouth. “I need a drink.”

I turned to the bar and a bottle of water appeared in front of me. I turned to see Zac behind me and I put it to my lips gratefully.

“Tyler,” said Zac arrogantly.

“Zac,” he replied with a sharp nod.

Zac gave a slightly smug smile as he moved away, feigning disinterest and striking up a conversation with one of their friends further down.

“Are you coming home with me?” asked Tyler quietly so only I could hear.

I shook my head no.

“I’m with Janey tonight, Ty. I told you that.”

“Doesn’t look like you’re with Janey at all,” he responded with an angry stare.

I rolled my eyes and challenged him, “What’s that supposed to mean? Geez, Tyler, I’m on a night out with a girlfriend, having fun.”

“I can see that,” he said annoyed.

“So go and enjoy your boys’ night while I continue mine.”

Tyler groaned in frustration.

“You’re killing me here, Ava. I’ve never had to plead for a girl to be with me, and I don’t like this shit between us.”

“There’s no shit,” I said annoyed. “I’m just out enjoying my night. I shouldn’t have to answer to you all the time!”

“Well, if we’re in a relationship, we need to answer to each other,” he spouted, angrily.

“We’re not in that sort of relationship,” I said.

He cocked his eyebrow.

“Really? So you’re back to toying with me as friends? Is that it?”

“Oh, Tyler,” I said running my hand through my hair in frustration.

“Forget it,” he said turning and storming off as he left the club.

Sam gave me a dirty look and followed him with Jason.

I raised my eyes to the ceiling in frustration. I knew I was being horrible, but he had to let me breathe. He had to let me see what would happen with Zac. I twisted my hair and lifted it up at the back to get some air on my sweaty neck.

“Problems?”

I turned to Janey and sipped my water.

“Yeah.”

She splashed some water from her own bottle at me and I gasped in surprise. She laughed as I tried to splash her back and then she ran off. I ran after her laughing, my tension forgotten. I grabbed her near the stage and tried to splash her again as she squealed. Then she was laughing and throwing her arms around me.

“Love ya, Ava,” she said hugging me tight.

“Love ya, too,” I said happily.

Zac

I watched her laugh with Janey and smirked to myself. Sipping my drink, I looked her over, from the blackness of her hair to the tight jeans that made me want to take her somewhere private.

“Trouble, Zac man,” warned Will from the bar.

I looked over and saw Tyler storming back into the club. I watched him head towards me, looking pissed. I stood casually, not in the least concerned about his anger. I knew I’d be able to take him down with one punch.

“You can’t keep doing this,” said Tyler as he reached me.

“Doing what exactly?” I asked with a dark look.

“You gave her up and she’s mine now.”

“She’ll never be yours,” I answered, with a smirk, my eyes turning to cold steel.

“She has been mine during the last two months,” said Tyler with a clenched jaw. “In every way.”

I stepped closer to him.

“She’ll still never be yours.”

Tyler looked furious and clenched his fists.

“It must be so fucking shit to know that when she’s with you, she’s thinking of me,” I taunted him with a dead calm.

Tyler stepped closer and anger appeared to make his entire body rigid.

“Hey, pretty boy, time for you to go home,” interjected Will.

I stared into Tyler’s eyes, daring him.

“Do it,” I provoked evenly. “Throw the first punch. I’ll end you,” I growled softly.

Tyler didn’t move.

“Just stay away from her,” he gritted out.

“She’s a big girl. She can do what she likes,” I replied, my focus not wavering from him.

Ava

I laughed with Janey and looked back to see Zac and Tyler face to face. Blood drained from my face, knowing Zac had the ability to kill him.

“No!” I shouted as I ran over to them.

I tried to pull Tyler away, but he refused to budge. He stared at Zac with an evil intensity.

“Tyler! Stop!” I said, and wedged my way between them. I tried to shove Tyler back. “Enough!”

Tyler broke eye contact with Zac and looked down at me. I saw the anger and hurt in his eyes, and I felt utter anguish in my stomach. I had done this.

“Don’t fight him,” I said emotionally. “Okay? I’ll come home with you.”

Tyler glared down at me.

“Let’s go,” I pleaded.

I couldn’t handle Tyler being beaten up over me, and I knew that’s what would happen. The three of them didn’t stand a chance against Zac, let alone Will and Noah as well.

Still seething, he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the entrance. He was rushing now, like he knew that if I looked back at Zac that I just might change my mind.

“Go home where you belong, pretty boy,” said a voice which I was sure was Will’s.

They all chuckled at the bar and Tyler stopped and clenched my hand harder.

“Just go,” I said to him under my breath.

“Fuck this,” said Sam pushing past me and going back over to him.

“No, Sam, don’t!” I said following him.

Will strode over with a smirk on his face. He was just waiting for a reason to fight.

“You got something to say?”

“How about you shut the fuck up?” said Sam.

“Sam, stop!” I shouted grabbing his arm.

Not taking his eyes off Will, he shoved me away angrily. I lost my balance and fell to the floor with a thud.

Zac came out of nowhere and was suddenly on top of Sam on the floor, holding him by the neck.

“Don’t you fucking touch her,” he snarled, holding him down.

Sam struggled with his arms and gasped for breath.

“Zac, don’t,” I pleaded as Janey helped me up from the floor. “Please. Don’t.”

“Get off him!” shouted Tyler coming towards them.

Will was suddenly there, shoving him back.

“Zac, please,” I pleaded again with tears in my eyes. “Let him go.”

Zac paused, obviously hearing the emotion in my voice. He held for a little more and then suddenly released the grip on his neck and climbed off him. He grabbed him by the collar and shoved him up to a standing position like he weighed nothing.

“You just got lucky. Touch her again like that and I will end you,” he growled.

Sam was shoved back and he coughed and spluttered as Jason pulled him away outside.

I sobbed softly as I looked at Zac, the muscles in his back rigid with tension. He wasn’t looking at me, but I could see his fists were still clenched. He had heard me through his anger and had done what I had requested.

“I’m so sorry,” I gasped softly, feeling so ashamed that this was all because of me.

He didn’t turn around.

Tyler held his hand out to me, his eyes asking me to go with him. This was all my fault and I owed him at least that.

“Go,” whispered Janey. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

I stepped over to Tyler and he took my hand as we silently stepped outside with the other guys and then looked for a taxi. I felt numb and still a little crazy from the emotional night. Sam didn’t look in my direction, knowing he blamed me for everything. I know they disapproved of what I was doing to Tyler and I needed to have a talk with him. I had to be honest with him. He deserved that, at least.

As he dropped me off at home that night, he kept the taxi waiting as he walked me to the door. He hadn’t said a word to me since we had left the club.

I pulled my key out from my pocket and went to unlock the front door. My back was to him.

“Did you kiss him tonight?”

I paused and closed my eyes. My silence gave him the answer he was expecting.

“What about us?”

“Let’s just talk tomorrow, Tyler,” I said, still not turning around from the front door.

“You want him. More than me. It will always be like that, won’t it?” he whispered.

“Tyler.”

“I’m not a fucking doormat, Ava,” he whispered angrily. “If you choose him and his friends, then do it. Stop fucking around with me.”

I turned to him with tears in my eyes.

“But know this. When you’re heartbroken from when he leaves you again, or you find out he’s cheated on you, and he will, I want you to think about me. Think about what we could have had together.”

“Tyler, please,” I said emotionally.

“I’m done,” he said leaning in to kiss my forehead. “It’s been a blast.”

He turned and headed back to the taxi and got in, without a glance back.

I sobbed softly and watched the taxi drive away. Now I had lost everyone again.

Zac

A few nights later, I swigged from my whiskey bottle as I walked out of my bedroom and back into the party. The girl that I had just screwed five minutes ago followed me out, fixing her hair.

I felt sick but swigged again, trying to numb the craziness in my head.

“Are we going back out to the pool?” she asked over the loud music blaring in the room.

“I don’t care what you do.”

She looked a little shocked and then hid it with her annoyance.

“So that’s it?”

“That’s it,” I said in a bored voice as I looked around the room.

I caught Noah’s disapproving eyes across the room.

“Fuck you,” she said angrily.

“Just did,” I said walking away and heading outside.

I stopped at the patio area and breathed in the night air, my head spinning and stomach churning.

Janey appeared beside me.

“Really, Zac?” she said annoyed.

“Really, Janey,” I mocked, not looking at her as I swigged again.

“Stop drinking yourself to death and stop screwing dumb girls. Just freaking call her.”

I shook my head.

“She chose Tyler.”

“She fucking went with him to avoid you killing him, you dumb nut,” she said angrily. “She doesn’t want him. She wants you.”

“She needs to be with him,” I slurred.

“So that’s it?”

I glared at her and growled the words, “Stay out of my life.”

“If you leave this any fucking longer, Zac, it’s over for you.”

Ava

Days went by, and I didn’t hear from him. Janey had kept in contact via text messages, but we didn’t talk about her brother. She was thinking of getting another tattoo and wanted me to come with her at some point.

I had spoken briefly to Sophie, but our friendship was showing cracks and the divide between us was increasing. She was siding with Sam and Tyler, and I knew it would soon be over.

Zac had blindsided me once again, and even though time might have given us distance, I still felt the same for him. I was attuned to him like he was my soul mate, and it would never be any different. I yearned to be with him, the group, and Janey. I hated the thought of them thinking I had decided against them by walking out with Tyler that night.

I hadn’t called him and there was a part of me that had wanted Zac to make contact with me first, even if it was just to check to see how I was doing. But he didn’t and his silence was deafening. I had the urge to walk a couple of streets over and knock on Noah’s door, but I was too afraid of what I might find in there.

Chapter Eighteen: When It All Went Very Wrong

Ava

I received a text from Janey.

Janey: Tattoo is booked – come and hold my hand!

Ava: Love to – when?

Janey: I’ll be at yours in an hour

True to her word, she was at my place an hour later, music pumping in her car with the windows down and a cigarette in her hand.

“Hey,” I said happily climbing in and kissing her on the cheek.

She reversed out and sped away, heading to a tattoo place in Fitzroy.

“How’s it going with Tyler?”

“We’re no longer together.”

“How did he take it?”

I admitted, “He’s better off without me mucking him around.”

“Does Zac know?”

I shook my head no.

“We haven’t spoken since that night.”

“I haven’t seen him for a couple of days. They’ve been out every night according to Will.”

“Oh,” I said feeling the despair in my stomach.

He would have moved on from me numerous times and I had to change the subject before I did something silly like burst into tears.

“So, what are you getting done?”

“I’m finishing off my wrist sleeve,” she said with a smile. “Want to get one, too?”

I laughed.

“I’ve secretly been wanting one for a little while now.”

“No time like the present. We’ll get it done together. I know the artist well, and he’ll fit you in.”

I laughed again, but seriously thought about it. I felt the adrenalin as I pondered about doing something crazy. I had wanted to get a small lily somewhere discreet, because it was my middle name.

Janey laughed and teased me, “You’re thinking about it! That means yes!”

“You’re a bad influence,” I said, smiling.

“Like I haven’t been told that a million times.”

Three hours later, I sat in the now closed tattoo shop with a small lily on the lower right-hand side of my pelvis. No one would see it unless my underwear was down or if I was wearing an ultra-low-rise bikini. It represented me and my wildness over the last couple of months. It also represented the middle name that I shared with my mother.

I sat with a whiskey, compliments of the co-owner who was putting the last finishing touches on Janey’s wrist. Janey smiled over at me.

“So, it’s your mother’s middle name, too?”

I nodded and looked down at my whiskey.

“She died five years ago,” I said softly, looking back over at her. “She took her own life.”

It was the first time I had said those words out loud to anyone.

“I’m sorry,” said Janey, clearly shocked. “I didn’t know. That must have been so hard.”

“Didn’t Zac tell you?” I asked softly.

She shook her head.

“No, he stays pretty tight-lipped on certain things. Your privacy is one of them, I guess.”

I felt a little relieved at that information and sipped my whiskey again.

Janey put a photo of my tattoo up on Facebook and tagged me.

Janey: Getting inked with beautiful Ava ;)

The comments started to come through.

Will: Where is it?

Janey: Not telling you

Will: Come on, we all want to know!

There was nothing from Zac, of course, but I didn’t expect anything. I listened to Janey agree to a party invite tonight at some warehouse party in Fitzroy. That’s when one of the other co-owners named Frankie headed over. He sat down beside me. He was waiting for us to finish, so he could lock up the shop and leave for the night.

“You realize this is just the beginning,” he said to me in a gravelly voice.

I smiled and asked, “For what?”

“You won’t stop at just one tattoo,” he said knowingly. “You’ll be planning the next one in a couple of months.”

I giggled and said, “Maybe.”

“She will,” said Janey with a wink.

“So how do you two know each other?” he asked, lighting up a cigarette and then offering me one.

I took one and thanked him while I grabbed his lighter and lit the cigarette.

“She has been seeing my brother,” said Janey.

“Zac man,” he said with a grin. “That makes sense now,” he said looking at me. “I’ve done a few of his tattoos.”

“They’re awesome,” I said with a smile.

He checked his phone and then pressed for the camera. He put his heavily tattooed arm around my shoulders and we smiled for the camera.

Zac

Drying myself from a shower, I heard my phone and went back into the bedroom to check it. There was a text from Frankie, my tattoo artist, and a photo of Ava next to him, smiling sexily into the camera.

Frankie: Does this heavenly creature belong to you?

I responded immediately: Yes

Frankie: Doing well for yourself Zac man

Zac: Get those meaty paws off her ink boy

Frankie: Can’t help myself

Zac: Where is the lily?

Frankie: That’s for you to find out my friend…enjoy

I dropped the phone onto the bed and got dressed, soon heading back over to see the photo of the tattoo on Facebook again. It was a girly tattoo, but it suited her perfectly. The color of the lily didn’t escape my attention either.

I hoped to god Janey hadn’t talked her into it. I decided to text my sister.

Zac: WTF Janey

She responded instantly: Chill, we just got some ink

Zac: Did you talk her into it?

Janey: She was an adult the last time I checked. She can make up her own mind about these things

Zac: Where are you going tonight?

Janey: Warehouse party Fitzroy – hopefully she finds someone tonight and can finally get over you

Zac: Go suck a fat one

Janey: Do you know Tyler is not on the scene anymore…??

Ava

The warehouse apartment was huge and had been renovated as a place to live and party. There were a lot of people standing around, drinking and socializing as the tattoo owner took us around and introduced us.

Once we had drinks, we settled into a spot and Janey was soon introducing me to old friends and then doing coke with them.

I sipped my drink and thought about Zac, wondering where he was tonight. Janey interrupted my thoughts by offering me some coke. I shook my head no. I wasn’t in the mood for it tonight. Janey snorted my turn and closed her eyes.

I vaguely remembered the guys telling me to keep her away from coke, but I could see there was no way to stop her. She was hell-bent on having a wild party and nothing was getting in her way.

Zac

I pulled back from kissing the girl next to me and sipped my beer, not even wanting to think about the comparisons I kept making. No one would make me feel like I did when I was with Ava.

I leaned back and felt her hand on my thigh, an inch from my cock. She was up for more and was letting me know it. I sipped my beer again and looked around the pub in boredom and then down to my phone, wondering what Ava was doing now.

The girl caressed her hand over my cock and giggled as she leaned up to whisper in my ear, “Let’s go somewhere.”

I watched her lick her lips, telling me exactly what she wanted to do to me.

Fuck it.

I needed to stop thinking about her.

I took her hand away from my cock, but pulled her up from where we were sitting. I led her away, through the crowd, to the back of the club, where I knew there was a private spot behind the stairs.

She kissed me hard and unzipped my jeans, smiling as she went down on her knees. I leaned back and closed my eyes, feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket, but I was too far gone to care.

I shuddered my release and looked down at the girl wiping her mouth, feeling like complete shit. I didn’t want her and I was wasting my fucking time with these meaningless girls. I pulled my zip up, missing a six-foot Will shoving his way through the club like a demented man, heading outside with his phone to his ear.

Ava

I came back from the restroom and re-joined the group, noticing that Janey was no longer with them. She had been openly flirting with some guy before and I looked around the room for both of them. Was she off somewhere having a private moment with him or should I go check on her?

I tried not to feel annoyed at having her leave me alone with the group and I put my drink back down and went to look for her.

Guys tried to make eye contact with me as I searched around and all I could think about was Zac. Where was he right now? I needed to see him so badly, just to know if we were truly over.

I walked down a corridor at the back of the warehouse where there seemed to be less people and searched for her. I came across two guys at a door who seemed to be waiting for it to open and overheard their conversation about how “Tom” had found an easy one and they were all in.

The door opened and I couldn’t help but look in before it closed again. What I saw would be forever burned into my memory.

I saw Janey and Tom in the bedroom in the middle of having sex. Four other guys were in the room, awaiting their turn.

I shoved the door back open and screamed, “Janey!”

They all turned around and looked at me. She looked up at me with her smudged mascara eyes that seemed to be vacant.

“What are you doing?” I asked in alarm.

She looked so unaffected but sad, and I didn’t understand.

“What does it look like?” said one of the guys.

“You up for it, too?” asked another one with a chuckle.

As if in slow motion, I watched Tom continue fucking her, like I wasn’t even there.

I looked at her and she then mouthed, “Help” as if in a daze.

“You in or out?” asked a guy while he put his arm around me.

I shoved him off, panicking as I wondered what to do in that split second. I couldn’t stop them by myself, without them getting angry at me, so I stepped back and squeezed my phone in my hand. I had to call for help. I looked to her and gave her a slight nod and then stepped out. The door was slammed closed behind me.

With shaky hands, I pressed for Zac and then ran back into the party to find the tattoo artist friend. The call went to voicemail and I swore.

“Zac, call me,” I pleaded quickly.

I pressed for Will next, my heart thundering in my chest.

“Ava?”

“Will, Janey is in trouble. She’s in a room with all these guys and she wants help and I don’t know what to do!”

“Where are you?” he demanded.

I told him the address as I searched for our tattoo artist friend.

“I’m five minutes away. Don’t go near them.”

The call ended.

I asked for people in the party to help my friend, but no one seemed interested in helping or else they were too high to care. I searched and searched and soon felt like screaming.

Like a ray of hope, Will stormed into the warehouse, and I ran over to him, so upset I could hardly breathe. I showed him the door and he squeezed my arm.

“Go wait for me outside. I don’t want you anywhere near this.”

In the next moment, he almost kicked the door off its hinges as he stormed into the room.

A guy on top of Janey was soon thrown against the wall. Tom and the other two jumped onto Will and punches were thrown. He shoved them off and more punches were thrown. I saw Janey moving off the bed, her eyes wide and her hands shaking.

I went inside to help her and was suddenly shoved by a guy falling back into me. I lost my balance and fell, smacking my head on the corner of the bedside table.

I tried not to think of the pain, as I got back up and grabbed Janey. She tried to pull her pants up but she was having trouble. I tried to help her, but I couldn’t. I searched for her shoes and grabbed them.

“He’s going to hate me for this,” she mumbled with tears in her eyes.

“What?” I asked in a panic, still trying to get her out.

Will shoved another one against the wall and then he looked around him. They were all on the floor, currently bruised and unable to fight back for the moment. He turned and swiftly grabbed Janey in his arms.

“Let’s go,” he growled carrying her out of the room.

We made it outside and went to Will’s car, which was parked at an angle near the door. I sat in the back seat with Janey as Will slammed the back door closed. Then he jumped into the driver’s seat. We were soon speeding off and Janey burst into tears.

“You fucking promised you would stop doing this shit!” shouted Will as he turned the corner sharply, his wheels skidding.

“I know. Okay! I know,” she cried wiping her tears and pulling her bare legs up to her chest.

I looked at Will’s knuckles on the steering wheel, red and swollen. I cringed. Pain shot through my head and I felt dizzy.

“How many fucking times do we need to do this? When are you going to learn?” he shouted.

“Fuck you!” she screamed, punching the back of his seat.

I jumped in fright at her violent scream, and then watched her shove her head into the window. She did it again, like a crazy person.

“Stop,” I hollered.

“Stop that, Janey, or I will fucking knock you out myself!” shouted Will.

Janey stopped and leaned against the window, her shoulders rigid as she curled into a ball.

I didn’t understand what was going on or why Janey had lost the plot. I wanted to suddenly get out of the car and run away. Will stopped at some lights and turned back to me.

“You okay?” he asked gruffly.

I nodded in bewilderment.

He looked at me closely.

“You’re bleeding.”

“Am I?” I stammered as a car behind us blared its horn.

Will swore and accelerated off, trying to look back at me as he drove.

“You’re fucking bleeding, Ava! Are you okay? How did that happen?”

I shook my head, feeling it pound.

“I don’t know.”

I touched the side of my face, feeling the wetness and looked at my fingers. They were covered in sticky blood.

He swore again.

“You need a hospital.”

“No, I’m okay,” I said quickly. “You need to take care of Janey first. I’ll be fine.”

Will’s phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket.

“It’s Zac.”

“Don’t tell him!” said Janey from within her curled-up ball.

“Jesus, Janey. You know you can’t hide things from him. And now this time, Ava is hurt. How the fuck do you think he’ll react to that?”

“Don’t you dare tell him, Will!” she said again.

Will growled and stepped on the accelerator, letting the phone ring. We were soon outside their townhouse and Will picked up Janey from the back seat and carried her inside. I followed them in, my head really starting to pound now.

My phone rang and I looked at the screen and saw that it was Zac. I declined the call. I could see he had called another three times before that, but I hadn’t heard it ring during the commotion. Will went up the stairs to the bathroom, and I opened the door for him. He ran her a bath and took off her bra and underwear and threw them in the wastebasket in the bathroom.

He sat her in the empty bath and let the water fill up around her. She curled back up, her face covered by her arms and started to sob. I watched him smooth her back as he kneeled beside the bath. I stepped out of the bathroom to give them privacy.

I walked into the hallway and slid down the wall, hugging my knees. Janey had gone crazy again, and I tried to examine how and why it had happened. She had been so happy interacting with me prior to it all. Had she taken something else without me seeing? Surely the coke hadn’t done that to her.

I tried to comprehend her vacant look when she was on the bed, letting the guys use her and then the craziness in the car. I heard Will talking to her in a soothing voice. I knew how much he cared for her as the bath taps were turned off.

“The minute you started to go ahead with it, you should have called me,” Will said. “I told you that the last time, too. You need to call me and I will come for you. Stop it from happening. You’re worth so much more, Janey. Try and remember that.”

“I hate myself,” she sobbed. “I fucking hate myself.”

“You should only hate the guys you let take advantage,” he replied.

I closed my eyes, knowing there was so much more going on. I heard Janey’s sobs and my heart went out to her. She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. I didn’t understand how she could even think about hating herself.

I felt my phone vibrate, and then I heard the ringing sound again. It made my head hurt. It was Zac again. This time, I answered it numbly.

“Are you okay?” asked Zac, sounding like he was driving.

I closed my eyes.

“Yep,” I lied.

There was a pause.

“Ava, what the fuck is going on?”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled as the phone was taken from me.

“It’s Janey,” answered Will firmly.

I couldn’t hear what Zac said next.

“I got five of them down and got them both out of there,” he said next, looking down at me.

I heard Zac shouting something angrily, but I couldn’t make it out.

“She wasn’t, but she’s got a bad cut to her head. I’m about to look at it.”

“I told you not to tell him!” shrieked Janey from the bath.

Will handed the phone back to me and went into the bathroom. I looked at it and saw that the call had ended. I heard more shrieking from Janey. She sounded wild and I felt terrified. I felt too woozy to get up, so I held my head in my hands and covered my ears.

The front door burst open and Zac was suddenly on the stairs, taking one look at me and going into a fury.

“How the fuck did that happen? There’s fucking blood everywhere!” he roared, crouching in front of me and touching the side of my head to see the cut.

I cringed at his fury and continued to cover my ears from Janey’s shrieking. I shut my eyes tight and willed for it all to be a nightmare.

“Shit, Ava,” he said hoarsely, pushing my hair back so he could see the cut.

His voice sounded hurt and full of concern, but I kept my eyes shut, unable to comprehend what was going on.

“Are you in pain? I’ll find and kill every one of them.”

My eyes snapped open.

“Where were you?” I gasped.

Guilt crossed his face and that was when I knew. He had been too busy fucking around with someone to take my call. I angrily shoved his hands away.

“Ava, stop,” he said grabbing my hands. “You’re bleeding pretty badly. You need stitches.”

I wrestled with him and heard Janey get louder.

“Get the sedatives,” shouted Will.

I could hear serious splashing in between the shrieking.

“Got them,” said Noah appearing from somewhere and heading into the bathroom.

Zac touched my cheek, looking pained.

“Ava, calm down and tell me what happened.”

“Get away from me,” I spat, the pain in my head making me feel like I was going to pass out. “I called you!”

He looked pained. “I know.”

“You were too busy with a girl, weren’t you?” I spat, knowing deep down it wasn’t his fault, but I wanted to blame him.

I wanted to hurt him, because he was hurting me.

“She keeps spitting them out,” shouted Noah.

Zac swore and squeezed my hand.

“Don’t move,” he whispered, going into his room.

He stormed back out with a syringe in his hand, and pierced a small bottle with it. Then he disappeared back into the bathroom.

I heard more splashing and grunting from Janey and then moved slightly to peek around the corner. Will held her against him on the floor as she tried to wriggle out of his clasp. He held her arms down tightly with his arm while Noah held her thrashing legs down. She strained against them, her eyes wild as she looked in my direction.

Her gaze was unfocused and she was crazy-looking. I knew she couldn’t even see me. I watched Zac lean over her.

“Hold her tight,” he said as he calmly administered the injection.

It worked almost instantly, turning her rigid wild body into a state of calmness.

Will leaned back against the basin and stroked Janey’s hair as he held her, catching his breath.

“She’s coked up to the eyeballs,” muttered Noah.

Zac covered her with a towel and Will continued to sit there with her in his lap, stroking her hair.

“Where was Ava when you went in?” asked Zac.

“Trying to get help and then I was fighting the guys and she must have got knocked by one of them,” he said, turning to look at me by the door.

“Fuck, Ava, you need stitches,” said Noah.

“I’ll take her to the hospital,” said Zac getting up and starting towards me.

“No,” I said scrambling up from the floor, my heard swirling.

“Ava,” he said grabbing me before I fell.

“Let me go,” I pleaded, suddenly exhausted. “I don’t want to be with you.”

Zac pulled back from me, like my words had slapped him.

“Noah, can you take me home?” I asked suddenly shaking uncontrollably. “I just need to go,” I whimpered, stepping even further away from Zac.

Noah eyed Zac and then stood up.

“Sure.”

Zac stayed completely still as Noah went to walk past him with her.

“Okay?” asked Noah quietly.

Zac visibly swallowed and then passed Noah the keys to his car with a curt nod. Noah took them in silence.

I turned away and heard Zac murmur, “Look after her with your life.”

I awoke to a blinding light and tried not to panic as I focused on a woman’s face. I must have fallen asleep in the car.

“Where’s Noah?” I gasped.

“I’m here,” he said coming into my line of sight.

“You have a slight concussion, Ava,” explained the woman. “I’m about to glue your injury so you need to hold very still.”

“Glue?” I asked.

“Surgical glue. I’ve managed to stop the bleeding, and you won’t need stitches,” she said concentrating on my head.

Then she looked at Noah and said, “Hold her head completely still for me.”

Noah loomed over me, holding my face gently but firmly.

“This is my mum,” he explained.

“Oh,” I said.

“Between Noah and the boys over the years, I’ve had to use my nursing skills quite a lot,” she said, concentrating on my wound. “Can you remember what happened?” she asked me next.

I swallowed.

“A guy fell back into me and I fell and hit my head on something.”

She asked, “Can you remember what you had for breakfast this morning?”

I bit my lip, trying to think.

“Nothing.”

“Breakfast is important,” she said with a smile. “I’m always telling Noah that.”

I recognized the cheeky smile and realized how much Noah looked like her. She was very beautiful.

“How’s Janey?” I asked looking to Noah.

“She’ll be okay,” he said quietly.

“After this, you need to concentrate on resting. Noah, you need to observe her for the next twenty-four hours to make sure it’s only a mild concussion. Otherwise, she needs to go into the hospital for a scan.”

“I should be fine,” I mumbled.

“Let’s wait and see,” she said softly, squeezing my hand.

She tended to me some more and then left the room for a moment to clean up.

“Where am I?” I whispered trying to look around.

“My parent’s house,” he said with a quick smile. “I thought you might have more than alcohol in your system and ER doctors would ask too many questions and call your father.”

I swallowed and replied, “Thank you, Noah.”

He looked at me.

“Zac’s going out of his mind with worry,” he said quietly.

I looked away from him.

“I know how it looks, but he’s trying to get over you the only way he knows how.”

“I’m done,” I said with resignation. “I can’t keep on going like this. It hurts too much.”

“What hurts?” asked Noah’s mother walking back into the room.

“Her relationship with Zac,” said Noah.

I glared at him, wondering how much she knew and if he realized how much I didn’t want to talk about it.

His mother smiled as she packed up the first aid kit beside me.

“I knew it would happen one day.”

I looked at her questioningly. She continued to pack up the items. “Some girl would eventually come along and steal his heart.”

I swallowed hard. I wanted to tell her that I hadn’t even come close to stealing his heart. He couldn’t be with me. He was with everyone else but me.

She straightened a few more items in the box.

“That boy has always carried an awful lot on his shoulders. All he needs is some time and understanding,” she said closing the lid. “And some love and care,” she said giving me a small private wink as she moved away and left the room.

I looked at Noah.

“Everybody needs a Mum, even Zac sometimes,” he whispered.

Zac

I walked into the unit and looked over at Noah who was in the kitchen getting a drink.

“Where is she?” I asked quietly.

Noah looked unsure for a moment.

“She’s asleep. I’ve got to make sure she doesn’t sleep too long though and check she’s okay afterwards.”

I walked in further, pausing at Noah’s bedroom door and saw her asleep on his bed. Pain hit me in the chest. She was in Noah’s bed and not mine.

“I’m sorry, Zac man,” whispered Noah. “She refused to sleep in your bed.”

I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them to look at her. It was finally happening. She hated me. She could move on now, and find someone better. I swallowed hard, feeling angry and hurt.

“Take care of her,” I said turning back around and leaving the unit.

Chapter Nineteen: Relationship

Ava

A few days later, I went to visit Janey, making sure Zac wasn’t there. She answered the door, looking tired and a little unsure as she looked at me.

“Hey, gorgeous,” I said softly, stepping in and kissing her on the cheek.

She smiled and closed the door behind us.

“I was just making a coffee.”

“So how you feeling?”

“I’m doing okay.”

I was quiet as I sat at the kitchen table, watching her get two mugs down from the cabinet.

“I’m sorry about a lot of things that night,” she said next.

I reassured her, “There’s no need.”

“There is,” she said with pain in her eyes. “No one really knows the real me except the boys.”

“Is that the real you?”

She stared at the table and admitted, “When I don’t take my medication…yeah.”

I stayed silent.

“I have extreme highs and extreme lows, so I take medication to level it all out, so I can pretend I’m normal,” she said as the kettle finished boiling. “But sometimes when I’m feeling good, I stop taking the medication, telling myself that I’ll be okay.”

“But you’re really not,” I stated.

“Exactly,” she said pouring the hot water in the mugs. “And then I go and do insane amounts of coke and jump off the deep end. I’m sorry you had to see me like that. I made Zac promise to never have me committed during one of my episodes, so that’s why he used a sedative to calm me down.”

I nodded.

“He’s so angry with me – putting you in the position I did with those guys and then you getting hurt.”

I shook my head slightly and said, “It’s not your fault.”

“It is,” she said softly. “I get so self-destructive and want to hurt myself. So, I do it with sex,” she said passing me the coffee mug. “Told you I was fucked up. So how’s your head?”

“I’m fine,” I said giving a brief smile. “I’m all glued up and the swelling has disappeared.”

She grabbed a packet of cigarettes and motioned for me to follow her out to the courtyard.

“I’m taking it you don’t want to talk about my brother.”

“Not really,” I lied.

“You sure?”

I sipped my coffee, not looking her in the eye.

She gave a knowing smile and then changed the subject.

“So how’s the tatt?” she asked lighting up a cigarette.

“Okay,” I said. “The cream is working and there’s hardly any scab left.”

“Anyone else seen it yet?”

I went to laugh.

“Janey, it’s been three days.”

She grinned.

“Stranger things have happened.”

“I’ve sworn off guys for a while,” I said next.

Her eyes narrowed as she exhaled her cigarette.

“Nooo, you can’t do that,” she laughed. “We can’t go out and have fun together if you’ve sworn off them.”

“You’re already planning our next night out?” I asked in disbelief. “Don’t you need time to recover?”

She grimaced.

“I’ll go even crazier if I have to spend much more time in here.”

I shook my head.

“You need to rest and be away from guys and parties.”

“Nooo,” she groaned.

“We can have a girly night tonight. We can stay at home, maybe watch something, and devour some delicious food.”

“Sounds good. I don’t do many girly nights,” she said quietly.

“I’m the Queen of Girly nights,” I smiled. “So Zac won’t be here, will he?”

She shook her head.

“They’re off to a gig tonight.”

“Well, it’s a plan then,” I said getting up. “We need to go and get supplies.”

“Okay,” she said getting up as well and butting out her cigarette. “Give me five minutes to go and make myself look decent.”

I carried the mugs back inside and put them in the sink, looking at the fridge beside me. There were two photos that had been put up with a magnet holding them in place. One was of the group, at some pub together with Janey on Will’s lap. She was laughing and the three guys were smiling as they held their mugs of beer. My heart ached as I zeroed in on Zac. He looked his usual beautiful sexy self with his tousled hair and fitted T-shirt. I moved it across to see the one under it. It was a photo of the boys at the beach, sitting in the sand and looking like the hottest three guys on earth. Will was sticking his tongue out, Noah had a cigarette dangling from his mouth, and Zac was sticking his finger up at the camera. I smiled for a moment, enjoying him looking so carefree, suntanned and sexy as hell.

“Ready to go?”

I jumped and quickly tried to put the photo back in place as the magnet fell and both photos landed on the tiled floor. I bent over to pick them up and put them back in place.

“They’re my favorite two photos of my family,” smiled Janey. “The shrink says I need to put them up as a reminder, so I can focus on what makes me feel safe and happy.”

“They’re lovely,” I said not meeting her eyes and heading to the door.

“We need one of the two of us up there,” she said as she followed me out.

Zac

I got out of the car in the early hours of the morning and looked at Noah and Will as they climbed out, too.

“Seems very quiet in there,” said Will looking over at the townhouse. “I can’t hear them having pillow fights in lingerie,” he said laughing at his own joke.

“You need to get laid,” muttered Noah walking over to the front door.

The front door opened and Janey stepped out in her T-shirt and underwear.

“Wow, a visit at 3:00 a.m.,” she said quietly. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Thought we’d have a few quiet ones to end the night,” smiled Will.

Janey’s eyes narrowed onto me.

“Or maybe my brother is here to check up on Ava,” she said.

“Have a good night?” I asked.

“The best,” she said looking happy. “Girly nights are fun.”

“Any pillow fights?” asked Will with a grin.

“We just finished one while we were naked,” she returned with sarcasm as she opened the door wider to let us in. “Try and be quiet because she’s asleep on the couch.”

I went straight over to her and looked down at her sleeping. She was so fucking beautiful.

“Good night?” asked Janey going into the kitchen to get the bong down from the cupboard.

I half listened to the conversation, focusing on Ava on my couch as I sat down on the edge near her feet. She would never be completely out of my life, because she would always be around Janey, reminding me of what I could have had.

Noah stood up with a grimace and commented, “If I have to sit here and listen to you eat each other, I’m going to go and kill myself now.”

I turned to see Will and Janey kissing and looked away.

“I’ll get the gun and do it to myself first,” I mumbled, standing up as well. “We’re off.”

“See you, fuckers,” said Will still kissing Janey.

“Wait,” I said to Noah at the door, looking back to Ava.

Without another thought, I went over and gently picked her up from the couch and carried her up to my room. I wanted her in my bed, comfortable and not subjected to the noises that fucking Will and Janey would soon be making.

Ava

I awoke, feeling a lot more comfortable than I thought I would be as I opened my eyes. I stretched slightly and then paused, looking around Zac’s room. I was in his bed. How had I ended up here? There was no way Janey could have moved me while I was sleeping and I hoped to god I hadn’t walked up here in a sleep induced haze. I sat up and looked around speculating if Zac had been here last night and put me to bed?

After a hot shower in which I used his shampoo just to remind myself of his smell, I walked around an empty living room and kitchen, while Janey’s door remained closed. I could see a bong on the coffee table with empty glasses and suspected that the guys had come over while I was asleep on the couch. How embarrassing.

I got my phone out and sent him a text message.

Ava: Thanks for the bed…

I moistened my lips, contemplating if he was in bed with a girl right now. Maybe he had brought her back here first and then went back to Noah’s because I was here? I rolled my eyes in frustration with myself. Whatever had happened, it had nothing to do with me. I had to let it go. I had to stop thinking about him. He sent a reply.

Zac: Anytime

I paused, knowing that one word could mean so many different things, depending if it was coming from a friend or someone who wanted more. I put the phone down on the kitchen counter and tried not to think about it as I started to make a coffee.

“Hey.”

I jumped in fright and dropped the mug onto the table when I saw Will standing there, his eyes still half closed from sleep.

“Lucky that was empty,” he said coming around to make one.

“You scared the shit out of me,” I said, my heart still pounding.

“Go sit down. I’ll make you one,” he said with a yawn.

I sat down at the kitchen table and watched him warily.

“So you all came over last night?”

“I was hoping you two were having one of those sleepover girly pillow fights,” he grinned.

“Yeah, because they always happen.”

“I know, right,” he taunted, pouring the coffees. “Get this into you,” he said passing a mug.

‘Thanks,” I murmured gratefully, taking a sip. “Where did you guys go last night?”

“Went to a gig,” he said noisily sipping his coffee.

“Good time?”

“It was,” he said pausing at that and looking thoughtful for a moment.

I waited for more from him but it never came.

“I’m going out for a cigarette,” he said instead.

I put my hands around the hot coffee mug, enjoying the hot pain as I asked, “Did he…was he with a girl last night?”

Will headed over to the sliding door, an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips.

“The only girl he put to bed last night was you.”

My heart zapped at those words and I had to take a breath.

“You should come out with us tonight,” he said next, stepping out and lighting his cigarette.

“Great idea,” said Janey from behind me. “We’ll meet up with you guys at some stage tonight. We’re doing the girly thing first.”

“As long as the girly thing doesn’t involve any cock, then I’m fine with that,” said Will.

“Like you have any say in the matter,” smiled Janey making herself a coffee.

“I do now, remember?”

I looked to Will and then my eyes settled onto Janey. Something was going on between them both as she didn’t meet my eyes. Were they going to try a serious relationship?

“Don’t make me set off any fire alarms, Janey,” he laughed and then paused, realizing what he had just said.

My eyes snapped to him as he mouthed “oops” to me and went through the motion of zipping his mouth up.

My mind raced for a moment and then I gasped.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I said angrily.

“For fuck’s sake, Will,” said Janey.

“I didn’t say anything,” said Will suddenly concentrating on sipping his hot coffee.

“He knew I was with Tyler and set off the fire alarm so I didn’t go any further with him that night?” I said to them both.

Will focused on lighting a cigarette and didn’t answer. Janey was suddenly interested in the coffee mug in her hand.

“Oh, my god,” I said hoarsely, slamming my mug down and running my hands through my hair.

My texts from Tyler had always mysteriously disappeared, his bank accounts had been closed twice and his credit cards cancelled. I closed my eyes. He had been there with me, every day of those two months of hell. I was furious and weirdly exhilarated at the same time.

Will looked over at me.

“Don’t be too pissed,” he said quietly, exhaling smoke.

“He couldn’t let you go,” said Janey quietly.

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose and then looked back over at Will.

“Did he ever try to get with Sophie?”

Will laughed.

“Hell, no! She offered. He fucking refused.”

Zac

Will stood at the bar and sipped his beer quietly looking a little perplexed. He was a bit off tonight and I didn’t know what the hell was up his ass, but he better fix it, because I was the only one allowed to be a moping asshole.

“Okay, spit it out,” said Noah who was sitting beside him. “You look like you’ve just found some warts on your cock.”

Will looked at me without his usual smug smile.

“I’m dating your sister.”

We all fell silent.

“As in a proper…relationship,” he said, clearly uncomfortable. “Hope that’s okay.”

I burst out laughing and rubbed my hand over my face.

“Fuck, Will. You sure you’re up for that?”

“I’m willing to give it a try. I really fucking like her, always have.”

“Take good care of her, otherwise I’ll kick your ass.”

Will nodded.

“I might have also let something slip to Ava this morning, that maybe I shouldn’t have.”

I glared at him.

“Like what?”

“You told her about the fire alarm, didn’t you?” said Noah.

“Maybe,” said Will.

“Jesus, Will. She’ll think I’m a fucking crazy stalker,” I said annoyed.

Will shrugged and answered, “I know, but she already knows you’re fucking crazy, so why not add stalker to the list?”

Ava

The lights flashed against my skull, making everything bright and psychedelic. The drums pounded into my chest and I raised my arms and cheered. Janey came into my view, putting her arms around me as we watched the band.

I caught the eye of the guy next to me and he smiled. I smiled back. A song later, he motioned for us to have a drink with him in the beer garden.

Janey accepted for me with a wink and grabbed my hand, following him through the crowd. He was pretty hot but I wasn’t keen to pursue because I was still grappling with the news of Zac and the fire alarm.

In no time, we were sitting down at a table and I had a beer put down in front of me. Janey sat down and lit up a cigarette and threw the pack over to me. I lit one up and exhaled.

He started to talk to me and I gave him half-hearted answers, wondering when we would leave and meet up with the boys. I felt his hand on my back as he leaned in closer to me and watched Janey grin at me. I crossed my legs, pulling at my short skirt so I didn’t flash anyone and sipped my beer.

“So how long have you two been best friends?” he asked.

“Years,” lied Janey. “We’re known as the terror twins.”

“Really,” he said cocking his eyebrow with interest and looking at me.

I looked into his eyes and suddenly giggled, knowing they were attractive enough but not the eyes that I really wanted.

“You should giggle more,” he said huskily.

I laughed and then went back to sipping my beer. How many had I had?

“You should do it all the time,” he grinned. “That shit is infectious.”

I laughed again, leaning into him to pull at my short skirt as beers were suddenly put down in front of us. Then I looked up and saw Zac. I gasped.

Noah sat down, holding hands with a girl I hadn’t seen before and Will sat next to Janey with a grin on his face.

“Fancy seeing you guys here.”

I looked at the three of them in shock and concentrated on breathing as I felt a hand brushing my back and my eyes locked with Zac’s. He slowly took in the guy’s arm behind my back and a fire storm burned in his eyes.

“Guys, this is Grant,” said Janey eyeing me carefully.

She went around the table and said their names. Grant greeted them with friendliness and they started to talk about the band currently playing. I took a gulp of my beer, my hand now shaking.

“We’ve just come from Hell. You been there?” asked Noah.

“I haven’t, but it’s just down the road from here, right?” asked Grant, his arm still around me.

“That’s right,” said Noah.

I concentrated on my beer on the table as I listened to them talk about Grant’s band and tried to figure out how I was going to play this.

“You okay, Ava?” asked Noah with concern.

I swallowed down my nausea and mumbled, “Yep.”

“She’s had quite a few beers tonight,” chuckled Grant, pulling me closer to him.

I tried to relax against him, but I felt Zac’s eyes burning into me.

“You and me both,” said Will watching me closely and clinking his beer mug against mine with a wink.

They talked about tattoos and started to compare, all while Zac sat in silence. Grant’s arm moved from my back as he showed Will his arm and the explained the story behind it. I looked at the intricate work and knew I had seen better on Zac’s body. Zac caught me looking at it and his eyes narrowed dangerously.

Grant laughed at something that Will had said and he put his arm around me again.

Zac flicked his cigarette away.

“Take your hands off her.”

The table fell silent as Grant looked at Zac and laughed.

“What?”

“Take your hands off her,” he said again. “Or I’ll fucking break your arm.”

Grant stopped laughing and looked from Zac to me in question. I glared at Zac and then stood up, knocking over my beer as I scrambled to get away. I stumbled back inside the loud pub and headed in the direction of the ladies restroom.

Chapter Twenty: Exclusivity

Zac

I swore as I got up from my chair, knocking it over as I followed after her. I pushed my way through the crowd, trying to find her.

I headed over to the restrooms and decided to wait for a couple of minutes before I went in there myself. I didn’t have to wait long as she came out and stumbled into me. My hand went around her waist and I pulled her over to the wall.

“What are you doing, Ava?”

“What are you doing?” she responded. “I’m not waiting around anymore Zac,” she whispered painfully. “I’m moving on. I refuse to play games.”

“And you think your tattooed try-hard is the answer?” I returned dryly.

“Maybe I’m trying to find a guy who can’t breathe without me.”

“And you think I can breathe without you?” I asked.

“You’ve been doing perfectly fine so far,” she snarled.

“I’m not,” I growled, putting my hands up on the wall on either side of her “At all.”

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

“You set a fucking fire alarm off, Zac.”

I took a breath.

“You weren’t supposed to know that.”

“So what else are you hiding from me? Are you going to cancel the credit cards of the next guy I’m with?”

I reeled back from her. “You make me sound like a fucking idiot!” I snarled. “This is why I’m trying to keep my distance. I’m turning into a fucking fool. You’ve turned me inside out, Ava. You’ve made me crazy.”

“I’ve done nothing but want to be with you, Zac. Everyone else to me is just a comparison. I can’t do anything without the idea of you ruining it for me. You’re in my head and I can’t get you out,” she cried.

“What do you want from me?” I shouted hoarsely.

“I want forever. I want the fucking fairy tale, Zac. I want you to love me so much that you can’t breathe without me. I want to wake up next to you every day and know that everything is okay in the world, because I have you,” she shouted.

And there it was, the truth. I wanted to agree with everything she had just said, but I also wanted to run the other way. I stared at her, words escaping me.

She shoved me back.

“And I know you can’t give me that,” she cried storming away from me.

I watched her disappear into the crowd and hit the wall in anger, hating myself right now. I had to fucking man up and tell her what I wanted. Before it was too late.

I moved into the crowd, searching for her until I saw her near the exit. I shoved my way over to her and grabbed her arm. Our eyes locked and hers were full of pain. She looked as if she were ready to break.

“Don’t go,” I pleaded.

“I can’t do this,” she whispered, looking down between us. “Let me go.”

I leaned in to her and whispered, “I’ll never let you go, Ava.”

She looked up at me as if in pain and hissed, “You did…three months ago.”

She was right and I was a fucking idiot.

“I need to go,” she whispered desperately, shrugging off my grasp on her arm.

“I’ll take you,” I said taking her hand.

She shook her head and pulled her hand out from mine.

“Tyler was never a real threat to you and you could watch me safely from a distance, knowing I would never get over you. But this time, there’s a chance that I will get over you.”

It was more truth that seemed to tear at my gut. She was so fucking right, and I realized right then it was do or die. This was it. It all changed from here.

“Ava,” I said desperately.

She turned and headed off to the main doors, disappearing out of them as I ran after her.

“Ava, stop,” I called out as she kept walking away from me.

I ran to her and then stopped in front of her, my hands holding her arms and forcing her to stop.

“Go away,” she sniffed, not meeting my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I said emotion making my voice thick. “Please, Ava. I’m sorry.”

She squeezed her eyes shut.

“You can’t keep hurting me like this. I can’t do it anymore, Zac.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I groaned. “You mean everything to me, Ava.”

Her eyes opened.

“How can you say that?” she cried.

“You’re everything to me,” I confirmed throatily. “You’re mine, Ava, all mine.”

“You’re only saying this because you don’t want me to move on.”

“You can’t move on, because you’re mine,” I declared.

“I was yours, until you ended it.”

“I was trying to do the right thing. You can do so much better.”

“Who are you to decide?” she shouted. “I can make my own fucking decisions!”

“I know,” I pleaded, rubbing at the tension at the back of my neck. “Just let me take you home. We can talk it through.”

“You don’t want me, Zac,” she shouted angrily. “All the girls in between us prove that!”

“You still think I don’t fucking want you?” I shouted in disbelief.

She shoved me angrily and snarled, “You don’t!”

“You’re all I fucking think about!” I shouted. “I can’t fucking do anything! I have been in hell without you.”

“There were obviously a lot of fucking girls in hell!”

“And none of them compare to you,” I growled.

She stopped and swallowed, her eyes on me.

“You’re all I want,” I growled. “I’ve tried to stay away and now I’ve made you finally hate me, but I can’t let you go. I want to be fucking selfish and take everything I can from you.”

She took a deep breath, and asked, “For how long until you decide differently?”

The ache in my chest burned as I saw both hope and sadness in her eyes.

“Forever,” I exhaled.

She let go of the breath she had been holding and stepped back. The ache in my chest suddenly increased. She didn’t believe me, and I thought my head was about to explode. I had let everything out and I was feeling emotions for her but I didn’t know what the hell to do with them. All I knew was that if she walked away now, I wouldn’t survive. I stepped closer to her, minimizing the distance she had just put there, prepared to beg if I had to.

She let out a whimper and was suddenly against me, her lips on mine as I wrapped my arms around her tightly and kissed her. Our tongues clashed together, like we had been starved as her hands went around my neck. I pulled her against me hard with one hand on her bottom and she groaned into my mouth.

Her skirt was so short, my hand touched bare skin, and I suddenly questioned if she was even wearing underwear. Fuck. If I didn’t calm down, I was going to embarrass myself. I pulled back from her lips, breathing heavy as I looked at her. She was breathing just as hard, her chest moving up and down as the skin of her bare shoulders glistened in between the long curls of her hair. I wanted to lick her skin, wanted to be inside her and never leave. She was beautiful and mine.

“Let’s go home,” I growled as my nose rubbed against hers.

She always smelled so fucking good, like vanilla and fruit, and I wanted to breathe it in for the rest of my life.

I didn’t waste any time in getting in my car and driving out of the parking space, wanting to get her home and to myself. In no time, I was pulling up in my driveway, having gone the entire distance in silence. I hoped to god she hadn’t regretted anything we had just done or said as I turned the engine off. I ran my fingers over the steering wheel.

I turned to her, our eyes locking as she slowly bit her lip. I watched her teeth graze the lip, wanting to replace them with my own teeth. My eyes fixed back on hers, seeing the fire in them, as familiar desire burned within me.

“You mean everything to me, Ava,” I whispered.

Her lips were suddenly a breath away from mine as we both leaned into each other. Intense pleasure rippled through me as her lips touched mine and I pulled her closer. I needed to touch her. The anticipation was making me crazy.

She leaned over further as our mouths joined, savoring each other, reminding us both just how powerful a combination we were together. Simmering need started to build into a wild frenzy as my mouth was on hers, seeking and finding. She panted wildly and her hands grabbed at me, tormenting me to go faster. I wouldn’t last another minute if we continued like this, but she was as wild for me as I was for her. Our tongues collided together and then searched and found the taste we both wanted. My hand went to her neck and tangled in her hair roughly as I kissed her hungrily, needing more of her.

My other hand went down to her thigh and lifted it over me, wanting her closer.

She pulled back slightly, her eyes focusing on me as my hand stroked her cheek.

“The gear stick,” she panted. “It’s in the way.”

I kissed her sweet lips once more before I lifted her over and pulled her down on me so she straddled my lap. Her eyes were alight with lust as her wicked mouth was on me again. She ran her hands through my hair as our tongues stroked each other and she let out a soft moan. The sound nearly did me in as I started to make my way down her neck and then further.

I pulled her top down and then her strapless bra and she groaned as I licked at her. Her head fell back as she clung to me and seeing her like this on top of me made me groan. I had missed the sweetness of her and the taste of her skin.

She leaned down and captured my mouth again, pulling my bottom lip between her teeth. My hands smoothed their way over her, pulling her down onto my hardness, wanting more. Her hands made their way down my chest and then to my waist as she unzipped my jeans. She freed me and looked into my eyes meaningfully, panting above me.

My hands squeezed her bottom and then went to her thighs where I shoved her skirt up and moved her silk underwear aside. I lifted her and plunged into her as she pulsated around me. I groaned from the intensity and the perfection of both of us together.

“Ava,” I groaned, squeezing her hips hard, needing to drive into her.

Nothing had ever felt this good.

She matched my pace, panting my name as she rode me, her hands gripping my hair hard. Our mouths assaulted each other with the intensity, craving everything we had to give. She called out my name in a groan and I knew she was about to come apart. She furiously drove me to the end, as we both shattered together, the world disappearing around us.

I opened my eyes as my heart pounded, feeling out of control and suddenly wondering if I had hurt her. I felt dazed as I met her eyes and felt a fresh hit of desire as she tried to catch her breath. Was there anything more beautiful than her face after I had made her come? I needed to move her away before I took her again.

I gazed at her, feeling satisfaction and triumph roll through me. I took a strand of her hair and curled it back as I leaned in and brushed a kiss on her lips tenderly. She nestled into me, kissing my neck.

“Fuck!” I said suddenly.

She pulled back to look at me as I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

“I didn’t use a condom.”

“I’m on the pill,” she said softly. “It’s okay.”

I re-opened my eyes and looked at her.

“That’s never happened before.”

I had never lost complete control and had always used a condom. She had turned me inside out and had changed the order of everything.

She suddenly smiled.

I had put that smile on her face. She was mine and I couldn’t fight it anymore. I wanted to take…take everything she had and have it, over and over again.

Ava

After a shower together, I dressed in one of his T-shirts and headed back down to the kitchen with him. He started making a coffee for me and I watched him with delight as he padded around his kitchen with his bare chest and his jeans hanging low on his hips. We were yet to talk about us or our future, but I felt personally justified to admire the guy in front of me, because he was mine. I felt alive and charged full of lust, even just watching the muscles in his back flex back and forth as he made my coffee. We had already exhausted each other in the last hour, but I was ready for it again. I would forever be insatiable around him.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked as he stirred my coffee.

I giggled.

“You.”

He put my hot coffee down on the table beside me.

“Interesting,” he said putting his arms on either side of me on the kitchen counter, closing me in. I looked up into his eyes, already moistening my lips in anticipation.

“I like you thinking about me,” he said huskily.

I leaned up to tease his neck with my mouth, as his hand moved up to my neck and tangled into my hair. He pulled my head back gently and looked into my eyes as both hands moved to cup my face.

Pain mixed with a heady desire crossed his eyes, before he took his time looking over every inch of my face. I wanted to tell him that I had missed him, wanted to suddenly beg for him to commit to me, because I wouldn’t survive again if this was only for one night.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he breathed before he leaned in and started to devour my lips.

I ached at his words, his lips, and his tongue, because I had missed him even more. I ran my hands over his stomach, taking my time as I stroked up and over his defined abdomen. His other hand went to my thigh and made its way up to my underwear, stopping at my tattoo.

“Do you like it?” I asked in between his kisses.

“It’s the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said against my mouth.

Zac

The next morning, I took a moment to enjoy the feeling of a naked Ava curled up to me, sleeping peacefully in my arms. I ran my fingers over her arm, loving the feel of her soft perfect skin. She was adorable and my heart ached at the sight and feel of her. She let out a soft sigh and instinctively curled more into me in the silence. I looked down at the perfection in my arms and knew that I would no longer be without her.

I needed to show her everything about me before we went any further and I felt strangely liberated but nervous at the same time. It was everything that I had run from and now I was about to lay myself bare. Whether or not I thought I was right for her, I had to man up and tell her just how much she meant to me.

I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips, her body moving slightly and instantly returning the kiss in her sleep. I smiled down at her and then kissed her again. Her eyes opened from sleep and focused on me, her lips instantly curving into a smile. Who wouldn’t want to wake up every morning to the beauty of her just-awake face? She was all mine.

“I want to show you something,” I whispered to her.

She smothered a yawn.

“Again?”

I chuckled softly at the thought of another round of sex with her and knew I was ready to go, but I had to talk to her first.

“Something else,” I whispered.

“Okay,” she said sleepily.

“It’s downstairs.”

“I’m naked,” she said.

“Totally fine by me,” I said huskily.

“I need to put some clothes on first,” she said rubbing her eyes and then sitting up as she held the sheet against her.

She focused on me.

“Close your eyes.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“After what we did a few hours ago to each other?”

“Yes,” she laughed. “It’s broad daylight and I’m embarrassed.”

“Never be embarrassed with perfection, Ava,” I said with a smile as I sat up in bed and covered my eyes. “Go.”

She climbed out quickly, saying “No peeking.”

“Of course not,” I said opening my fingers to peek.

She laughed as she closed the bathroom door behind her.

I was soon taking her hand and leading her out of my bedroom and down the stairs. I went through to the garage and then past my car to a locked door that was my underground office. I unlocked it and went down the stairs, pulling her with me.

She stopped on the last step to take in all the screens on one side of the wall and all the computers. I saw her take in the fridge with a glass door, housing cans of energy drinks, the wall full of drives and flashing lights.

She stepped off the last step and looked to me.

“Is this your bat cave?”

I smiled, and said, “Yeah.”

“So this is where you work,” she stated quietly.

I nodded and watched her moisten her top lip as she looked at all the screens. I loved how she did that and wanted to do it for her.

“I need you to understand that this is what I do when I’m not with the guys, rescuing my sister or trying unsuccessfully to keep my distance from a beautiful dark angel,” I said.

“I have no idea what hackers do,” she said softly. “I mean, I get the idea of it, but -”

“We play dangerous games, real life, highly illegal commissions, some for fun, most for money. Corporates pay a lot of money for information. I go in and find it for them.”

“Like the police file on my mother,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” I said running my hand through my hair. “This was one of the reasons I was keeping my distance. It’s dangerous, illegal, and has serious consequences if anything goes wrong.”

“So don’t let anything go wrong,” she whispered.

“I’m never going to be the guy who holds a corporate job and settles down with a mortgage and do normal things,” I stated.

“So?” she said with a shrug.

“You deserve the other type of guy, Ava,” I said. “I’m always going to be covered in tatts, have a secret job, and a fucked-up sister to look after.”

She trailed her finger over one of the keyboards. “I don’t want the other type of guy, never did. I like that you have a secret job. It’s hot and your tatts are even hotter,” she said pausing with a teasing smile. “Actually, they are the hottest tatts I’ve ever seen, and as for your sister, you’re not alone with her. She has Will now and she has me,” she said with confidence. “I don’t care about anything that you consider bad. I’ve only ever cared about you.”

“It’s not going to be the fairy tale you’re after,” I warned softly.

“Let me be the judge of that,” she said softly with a smile as she came over to me and put her hands around my neck. “I’ve got my knight in shining armor, and I’m very satisfied with my fairy tale.”

My hands went around her waist and I leaned my forehead against hers.

“I’m going to fuck up sometimes.”

“Me, too. It’s all part of the deal.”

“You know how special you are to me, and I can’t let anything happen to you,” I whispered.

“Did you really mean the forever part last night?” she whispered.

“Yes, until the day you realize you deserve better.”

“Zac, I want you. I deserve you and you deserve me,” she said softly.

“One day, I’ll believe that,” I whispered, kissing her lips softly.

She closed her eyes.

“I want exclusivity.”

“It’s yours,” I answered huskily, knowing I would give her whatever she wanted from now on.

“I want you as my boyfriend. I want your heart. I want it all,” she added.

“I’m yours,” I said as I leaned in to kiss her again. “My heart is yours, Ava.”

Later that night as I touched her face, she looked up at me with eyes full of promise and fun. I put my lips to hers, the kiss full of sweetness as her tongue stroked mine before it became deeper and hungrier. Tenderness turned to lust as our mouths became eager and impulsive. I pushed her back onto the bed, following her down as I kissed her passionately. She made me wild, my body already so close to the end and I still had my clothes on.

She pulled my T-shirt up over my back and then I pulled it off for her as I continued to kiss her. Her hands made their way down to my pants where she undid them, feeling her way inside. I closed my eyes at her touch. She was no longer tentative, but now direct, knowing exactly what she wanted. We were both soon naked against each other and I tried to find an inner calmness and control. I needed to maintain a level of sanity, but as she let out a soft moan of pleasure, my control waned. She hungrily kissed me, running her hands through my hair and pulling at me.

I kissed my way down her perfect body, tasting her skin and then pausing at the small sexy tattoo on her pelvis. I looked back up at her and my chest ached as pleasure shot through me at the sight of my girl. I leaned down and kissed the lily, knowing I hadn’t seen anything sexier.

I leaned over to get a condom and her hand shot out to stop me. She looked at me meaningfully, wanting no barriers between us and my control suddenly snapped. As I thrust into her, she arched her back in pleasure, sighing my name with her eyes closed. I thrust into her again and again, hearing her moans, knowing she was close. Happiness weaved its way through me, knowing I was pleasing her. This beautiful girl had become a part of me. Just before she fell apart under me, she opened her eyes and gazed up at me. I saw my future as we came apart together.

Time passed as we both tried to catch our breaths, still connected in every way. Our mouths met and clung to each other in an almost sweetness. The same warm feeling from earlier permeated through me. She brushed her hand down my cheek and smiled up at me. Without a doubt in my mind, I knew that I couldn’t and wouldn’t let her go, ever again.

Chapter Twenty-One: Coming Home

Ava

We fell into a careful rhythm with each other, knowing that what we had decided was a big shift in our lives. I was careful not to overcrowd him as a girlfriend, knowing I needed to take small steps. It worked well for us and we were both suddenly very happy, like a weight had been lifted from both of us.

Janey and I became best friends and were inseparable, spending a lot of time together when Zac was working or out with the boys. I was scheduled to start university in March and planned on having fun while I had the chance.

I slept over with Zac most nights, whether it was at Noah’s place or his own and whenever we had been apart, we would always collide, desperate for each other.

Christmas and New Year’s flew past in a haze of parties and fun. We all went away for a couple of days to Noah’s family’s beach house and we spent time relaxing in the sun. Zac quietly gave me a spare key to the townhouse during one of those nights and I knew I would never love anyone as much as I loved him.

January passed us by, full of laughs, parties, bands, beach and fun. Everything seemed to be wonderful.

Until one day, it all went very wrong.

I ran up the stairs to my old bedroom to get a few things and looked around at the empty room. I hardly went home anymore, because I was just too happy and I didn’t want anyone like my father or Sarah to spoil it. My closet was now empty of clothes, with them now dispersed between Noah’s place and Zac’s, and I knew my father had resigned himself to the fact that it wouldn’t be long until I was completely gone.

I grabbed a few things and put them in my bag as I stopped to look at the photo of my mother. It was the beach photo where she was smiling, looking happily into the camera. I wondered if she had been unhappy at that moment and was doing everything in her power to hide it. Had she been smiling for the world to see, but quietly dying inside? I picked up the photo in its frame and opened the back up to slide the picture out. I put the empty frame back and then put the photo in my bag. It was all I had left of her.

I heard my father call my name from downstairs and scanned the room once more before I left it. There was nothing left here for me anymore, and I closed the door with a resounding click. I headed downstairs to where he was waiting for me, seeming happy but nervous as I braced myself for what was to come next.

“Can you come in here for a moment?” he asked looking at my bag. “Before you go.”

I followed him into the kitchen where I found Sarah happily perched on a kitchen stool, looking like she was going to burst. I braced myself further. Something big was happening, and it was going to swallow me up if I didn’t turn and leave immediately.

I think my father felt that I was about to run and touched my arm.

“Ava, we have some news that we would like to share.”

I swallowed a lump of emotion, knowing what was coming. It was like a sudden freight train, coming at me with full speed and I couldn’t move from the tracks.

“Sarah is pregnant,” he said with a nervous smile, warily looking at me for my reaction.

The freight train blared its horn at me, and I felt the collective wind hit my face.

“She is twelve weeks and will be due in July,” he said quietly, his smile starting to disappear.

I felt the train as my body shuddered and I was seconds from impact.

“We are going to get married next month and would like you to be a part of the ceremony,” he continued.

The buzzing in my ears intensified until it all just stopped. All I could hear was my breathing. In and out. In and out.

“You lied to me about my mother,” I whispered, my eyes focused on the table in front of me.

My father put his hands on the table in front of him, like he suddenly needed the support.

“Ava.”

“She disappeared and I spent five years hoping she would come back,” I whispered, still focusing on the marble table in front of me.

It was the marble table that my mother would have wiped and prepared dinner on, all the while being desperately unhappy.

“I didn’t-”

“You lied to me about her, about the police, about everything,” I whispered.

The buzzing in my ears returned and I felt something strangle my chest.

“It was for your own good, Ava. You were so young and I couldn’t…”

“I hate you,” I said louder, turning my face to look at him. “I fucking hate you for that.”

He looked to me, and his eyes were full of hurt and regret.

“I’m sorry, Ava.”

“I don’t care,” I said, throwing his apology back at him. “Both of my parents are dead to me now.”

“Oh, Ava!” said Sarah.

“Shut up,” I snarled, turning to her in anger. “You don’t get to talk right now.”

Sarah pulled back at my anger and looked to my father for support.

“Ava,” he warned.

It only fuelled my anger further. I had been a ticking time bomb, since my eyes had set upon the death certificate all those months ago. My anger-bomb exploded.

“Does she know?” I shouted, looking to my father. “Does she know that your wife killed herself? From being fucking unhappy? With you?”

Sarah gasped.

“That’s enough, Ava,” he said angrily.

“Does she know that the bathroom she uses every fucking day, the one where she fucking pleasures you in, is the one that my mother spent her last dying minutes in?” I screamed.

Sarah moved from the stool and covered her mouth, stepping away from me.

“Enough!” shouted my father.

“It’s not enough!” I screamed. “She’s gone and will never come back. It was because of you, you piece of shit.”

He angrily moved toward me and grabbed my arms.

“Stop, Ava!”

I shoved him back with all my strength.

“Go to hell,” I howled.

He dropped his arms and leaned against the table, breathing heavy.

I moved away toward the doorway and picked up my bag. I put it over my shoulder and turned back to Sarah to see her crying.

“Hope you get everything you wish for,” I muttered, turning away and leaving the room.

This was it. I would never come back here again. I left the house and didn’t look back. I just kept walking.

I walked to Noah’s, hoping Zac would be back, because I needed his strength right now. But there was no answer and I went back down the stairs in frustration. I sat on the end one and promptly burst into tears, feeling empty and raw now that I had released all of my pent-up anger. My phone rang and I pulled it out to see it was Zac calling. I laughed amongst my tears. He was so tuned into me.

“Hey,” I said in relief.

“What’s the matter?” he asked instantly, hearing the emotion in my one word.

“Just need you,” I smiled, my tears blurring my vision.

“Ava, what’s going on?”

“I just had a fight with my father and it’s all over now. I’m upset, but I’m okay. Everything that needed to be said has been said. I’m at Noah’s but no one is here.”

“I’m about fifteen minutes away,” he said. “Wait for me.”

“Okay,” I sighed happily.

“Guess this means you have to live somewhere permanently, huh?” he said next.

I took a sharp intake of breath as my heart pounded at the meaning of his words. He chuckled at my silence.

“See you soon,” he said ending the call.

I smiled happily through my tears as I looked down at my phone screen. I was going to move in with him permanently, and I couldn’t be happier. I put my phone in my bag near my feet and looked up as I heard a car.

It wasn’t a car I recognized and as soon as it parked near me, I saw Max climbing out. My happiness instantly disappeared. I quickly wiped my tears off my face and braced myself. Uneasiness was already spreading through me.

“Beautiful Ava,” he greeted me smugly. “Aren’t they home?” he asked coming over to me and leaning against the railing.

His feet were nearly touching mine, and I tried not to show any facial expression.

“Zac will be here any minute.”

He looked amused.

“So how’s things?”

“Okay,” I said with a pretend quick smile.

“I hear you and Zac are going pretty strong,” he said lighting up a cigarette and then sitting down beside me.

It was a tight squeeze and I tried to move away so we wouldn’t touch, but I was already pushed up against the wall. The last thing I needed was for Zac to come here and see us squashed on the step together. So, I started to stand up, because Max was making my skin crawl.

His hand grabbed my arm.

“Relax,” he said with a laugh.

I pulled my arm from his grasp and kept sitting, while warning bells went off in my head. I didn’t buy his chilled attitude and fake laugh. We were in broad daylight and I was sure he wouldn’t try anything, but I took in my surroundings and tried to remember my self-defense moves, just in case. The point was to defend, and then be able to run away and run away fast.

Hurry up, Zac. He was fifteen minutes away and it was going to feel like an hour. I needed my phone. I went to lean over to get it from my bag when something suddenly burned my arm. I flinched in excruciating pain.

“Oww,” I wailed.

“Shit, sorry,” he said throwing his burning cigarette on the driveway. “My bad.”

I looked at him in disbelief and touched my stinging arm.

“Let me take a look,” he said taking my sore arm and pulling it toward him.

He pried my other hand off it and looked down at it. I didn’t like his hands on me, but I was still trying to work out how he had even burned me when his cigarette was in his right hand.

Then he was suddenly pushing me down on the step, still holding my arms.

“Maybe I can kiss it better,” he said with a maniacal smile.

I went to scream and he covered my mouth with his. I tried to move from him, but he was too strong. He tasted horrible and his mouth was hard. I screamed into his mouth and he laughed. I tried to bite him and he laughed more.

My knee went up but he was too quick. He pushed my legs apart, his knee crushing into my thigh to keep me in place. I hoped that Noah’s Mum might be home, or someone would hear me.

Something snapped inside me and I was no longer going to be the victim. Clarity in my head let me think of my self-defense moves. His right hand let my arm go, so he could put it under my top and I used that split-second opportunity to do the move. I made my hand into a fist and then struck as hard as I could into his neck and windpipe.

He made a surprised gurgling sound and stopped, gasping for air.

I kneed him between the legs and then shoved him off me with a grunt. He was choking now and I ran for my life.

Zac

I pulled into the driveway and skidded to a stop as Ava ran blindly towards me. For a split second, she stopped at the hood of my car and looked at me through the windshield with fear in her eyes, breathing heavy.

Seeing her like that made the blood drain from my face and I jumped out. She was crying and holding her arm.

“What the fuck happened?” I shouted, looking at her and then further down the driveway, seeing Max getting up from the ground.

Pure blinding anger exploded in me.

“Did he fucking hurt you?”

She nodded as she cried.

“Get in the car,” I roared, heading straight for him.

“She came on to me,” gasped Max holding his neck and coughing.

I slammed my fist into his face and blood sprayed out of his nose as his head shot back with the force. He stumbled back and tried to right himself as I went in again with my fist, smashing his jaw.

Max hollered in pain and fell back, hitting the ground. I went for him again, picking him up by his T-shirt and shaking him.

“You stupid motherfucker, I’m going to kill you,” I roared as I reared back and punched him in the ribs.

Every punch was delivered with fighting accuracy, making sure I broke ribs and his nose. No one touched the most precious thing in my life. No one.

Max scrambled up to his car.

“Stop!” he screamed, blood gurgling out of his mouth.

“You have a fucking death wish,” I growled, preparing for the next punch with my fist clenched.

“I’m sorry! I kissed her, that’s fucking it,” he choked spitting blood. “Let me go. You’ll never see me again.”

I grabbed him again and threw him against his car, grabbing his neck hard with my hand.

“You fucking go near her ever again, I will finish you off. We’re fucking done, you hear me? You’re over.”

He gurgled something and I shoved him back hard. His body slipped down the car to a heap onto the ground. I turned back to Ava and strode over to the car where she was waiting. Her eyes were wide and she was still panting as pain smacked me in the chest.

“Are you okay?” I asked, cupping her cheek and focusing on her intently.

I saw the cigarette burn on her arm and swore angrily, needing to go back for one more hit, just for that burn.

Max reversed quickly in his car, nearly hitting the fence as he tried to drive with two swollen eyes. He was going to need a hospital very soon.

I pulled her into me and held her tight, kissing the top of her head to soothe her.

“I’m sorry,” I said with anger still pounding through my veins. “He won’t come near you ever again. He will disappear now if he knows what’s good for him.”

She nodded into my chest and held onto me tightly.

I kissed her head again, my jaw clenched tightly, wanting to roar in anger before it strangled me.

“I fought back this time,” she mumbled into my chest. “I hurt him.”

I cupped her cheek and looked at her, in total admiration.

“My little wild cat,” I whispered.

She smiled slightly.

“You’re my strength. I don’t have to be afraid. I don’t have to be a victim anymore.”

“I will never let anyone touch you again. I’ll organize twenty-four hour security if I have to.”

She smiled, and said, “I have you and that’s enough.”

“I told you, my world is fucked up. You sure you still want to be part of it?” I asked with a wince.

“There is nothing on this earth that I want more,” she replied. “I…I love you, Zac.”

What? I pulled back slowly, staring at her.

She gulped.

“Too soon? You can pretend I didn’t say that yet.”

I didn’t know if I was ready to declare that out loud just yet, but a part of me filled with warmth that she had said it. I answered her with a kiss, taking my time to tease her lips and cherishing what I had in my arms. I knew right then that my world finally felt complete.

Epilogue: A few months later

Ava

The morning sun sent little flicks of light through the moving drapes and I opened my eyes and smiled. It was going to be a beautiful day. I felt the warm breeze from the balcony and quickly got out of bed.

I slipped into Zac’s T-shirt and flung the drapes back, gasping at the view and blue skies. I stepped out onto the balcony and laughed excitedly at the Eiffel Tower in the distance. I was here.

I looked at the street below me, seeing people walking purposefully along the sidewalks, weaving in between cars. I looked at the balconies across from me, full of greenery and I giggled to myself again. I was here in Paris, and he had made it all happen.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and turned back to see Zac leaning against the bathroom door, watching me. I gazed with longing, seeing him with wet hair and freshly out of the shower. He gave me a knowing smile, one that I felt all over my body, starting from my toes.

I couldn’t help but drink him in, knowing I would never tire of exploring him. His eyes lit with desire, reminding me of the pleasurable dizzying heights he had taken me only an hour ago.

I tried to hide my delighted smile, but it was impossible as I giggled.

Zac

I grinned at Ava and made my way out to her on the balcony, still wondering how I had gotten so lucky. She was beautiful and all mine. Mine, mine, mine.

I put my arms around her from behind and looked out over Paris, knowing I had made her happy with the surprise trip. I kissed the top of her head, breathing in her vanilla and berry scent with satisfaction. I would never be sated, always desiring her and needing to be close to her. She was my beautiful Ava and she had changed my life.

“Happy Birthday,” I murmured against her neck.

“It’s the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you so much,” she said happily turning in my arms and looking up at me.

I caressed her cheek, looking into her eyes, and knowing there wasn’t another place I would rather be.

“I love you, Ava,” I said huskily.

I watched her eyes light up with joy as I leaned in to kiss her lips.

Coming Soon

ESCAPING TROUBLE

Book Two: Noah & Ivy

Acknowledgements

Firstly to my readers – without you my dreams would not have come true! Thank you for your support of an indie author. You all brighten my day.

To my man, who rocks my world like no other. Your encouragement and support has been amazing throughout this entire process. Without you, I would still be writing for an audience of one (me!)

To my beautiful children who light up my life - words cannot express how much I love you.

Thanks to my terror twin – you know who you are…great dirty minds think alike!

Thank you to the most lovely and inspiring editor – Candace Sinclair, editor at www.WordsRU.com

Thanks to Kellie at Book Cover By Design for my brilliant cover. (www.bookcoverbydesign.co.uk)

To all the amazing bloggers out there – thank you for your support – without you, the New Adult indie author world would not spin.

About the Author

Dee can usually be found in her own world in the early hours of the morning, writing while listening to music and breathing life into her characters. She loves to write New Adult Contemporary Romance and understands there is nothing better than a bad boy with a good heart.

Find Her:

www.deebridle.com

www.facebook.com/DeeBridle

www.twitter.com/DeeBridle

Table of Contents

Chapter One: The Party That Started Everything

Chapter Two: You’re Safe Here

Chapter Three: Good Girls Don’t Make Calls at 2:30 a.m.

Chapter Four: Stay Away From Me

Chapter Five: Driving Me to the Point Of Madness

Chapter Six: No One Is Going To Hear You

Chapter Seven: A Big Ball of Mess Inside

Chapter Eight: Don’t Even Breathe On Her

Chapter Nine: I’m Worth More Than a One-Night Stand

Chapter Ten: All Mine

Chapter Eleven: You Make Me Crazy

Chapter Twelve: Bad Girl

Chapter Thirteen: Temporary

Chapter Fourteen: To Ruin and Damage

Chapter Fifteen: Answers

Chapter Sixteen: Heaven and Hell

Chapter Seventeen: Girls Night

Chapter Eighteen: When It All Went Very Wrong

Chapter Nineteen: Relationship

Chapter Twenty: Exclusivity

Chapter Twenty-One: Coming Home

Epilogue: A few months later

Coming Soon

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Table of Contents

Chapter One: The Party That Started Everything

Chapter Two: You’re Safe Here

Chapter Three: Good Girls Don’t Make Calls at 2:30 a.m.

Chapter Four: Stay Away From Me

Chapter Five: Driving Me to the Point Of Madness

Chapter Six: No One Is Going To Hear You

Chapter Seven: A Big Ball of Mess Inside

Chapter Eight: Don’t Even Breathe On Her

Chapter Nine: I’m Worth More Than a One-Night Stand

Chapter Ten: All Mine

Chapter Eleven: You Make Me Crazy

Chapter Twelve: Bad Girl

Chapter Thirteen: Temporary

Chapter Fourteen: To Ruin and Damage

Chapter Fifteen: Answers

Chapter Sixteen: Heaven and Hell

Chapter Seventeen: Girls Night

Chapter Eighteen: When It All Went Very Wrong

Chapter Nineteen: Relationship

Chapter Twenty: Exclusivity

Chapter Twenty-One: Coming Home

Epilogue: A few months later

Coming Soon

Acknowledgements

About the Author