Norma Jean

Amanda Heath

Copyright 2013 © Amanda Heath

Smashwords Edition

All Rights Reserved.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.

Without limiting the rights under the copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by

any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owner, except in the case of brief quotations embodied within critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of fiction. The people, incidents, and dialogue are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living, dead or undead, is purely coincidental.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid.

Written by Amanda Heath

Cover by Robin Harper at Wicked by Design

Stock photo by Andreas Gradin

Table of Contents:

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Epilogue

About the Author

Playlist for Norma Jean

Dedication

To every single girl who was told she wasn’t beautiful.

Because you are.

Acknowledgements

This book wouldn’t have been possible without the help and love of several people.

Jessica Johnson of bookend 2 bookend is the sweet to my sour. I don’t even know her in real life but her encouragement, support, and love for my books is truly amazing. Every conversation I have with her, I end up laughing my butt off. Which is something hard to find in my real life. She is a great friend and I hope we stay in contact for the long haul.

Dawn Martens. Enough said. She is the drunk to my disorderly. This woman completes me. I want to move to Canada and marry her. She took time out of her busy life to look over this book and help me edit. She didn’t ask for anything in return. It’s hard to find friends in this business that are truly who they appear to be. Dawn is certainly the realest and I can’t thank her enough for that.

Fiona Wilson gets a huge thank you as well! She beta read for me and helped point out several things that needed fixing. I can’t thank you enough!

My husband and daughter, who are there for me 100%. In a sea of people who want to see me fall, it’s nice to have them there supporting me.

Shanora Williams, who is this amazing author I’m honored to know. She has done some truly inspirational things that I know will take her great places. You keep writing amazing books girl and I’ll keep reading them!

CM Stunich, who writes amazing stories about things that happen in real life. She doesn’t sugar coat it and they aren’t full of bubbles and sunshine. CM you’re one of my biggest inspirations and one of my favorite authors! Write on girl!

Kris, Jeannette, Brie, Fiona, and Nicole. My I Heart Books girls. We have weird conversations but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I hope to be a part of this amazing page for as long as it runs! You girls make it the best page ever! I love you girls! Booty Pop!

My mother, who might drive me nuts sometimes but I love unconditionally. I wouldn’t be anywhere without her. She complains about the other mothers in my books, so I made sure to have her spirit and personality throughout this book. I love you mom!

Bree and Jodie from Fab, Fun & Tantalizing Reads are so sweet and awesome. I’m truly honored to know these ladies. You couldn’t find anyone more sweet and down to earth then these two.

And last but certainly not least, every single one of you. I can’t thank y’all enough for buying this book and reading. Whether you enjoy it or not. You took a chance on me and I’m so honored that you did.

Chapter 1

Norma

“Norma Jean!” my mom screeches from the hallway outside my room. I have to admit I was asleep in the middle of the afternoon. I’m laying on my stomach with my hand next to my mouth which is now covered in drool. Yeah that’s not nasty at all.

“I know!” I screech back. I have to be at my babysitting job in like 30 minutes. Which leaves hardly any time to take a shower. Luckily I washed my hair last night when I got home.

My bedroom is fairly small considering we live in a single wide trailer. It has this ugly blue print wallpaper that I have covered up with pictures of reptiles and bands. There’s one window on the right wall which also happens to be the end of the trailer. My bed sits right underneath it and I sneak a peek outside to get a feel for the weather. The sun is starting to go down but the glass is still cold to the touch which means spring hasn’t made its appearance yet.

There is a small TV sitting at the end of my bed which is on and muted. Rydstorm my albino ball python likes to stay up all night watching TV. His vivarium sits across from the bed and his white and yellow body is currently shoved into his hidey hole. It’s only a small piece that looks like a rock on the outside.

I climb out of bed and take the few steps till I’m right in front of it. He sticks his head out a little and flicks his forked tongue out at me. “Yeah, I love you too buddy.” I kiss the glass before heading to the dresser next to my door, pulling out a Sliverstein shirt and black jeans.

My bathroom is tiny with the small hideous wallpaper, in fact it’s all over the damn house. I shimmy out of my pjs before turning on the water for my shower. I pull my long black hair up on top of my head and check the water. After deciding that it isn’t too cold I climb in.

After I’m done with that I towel off and throw on my clothes before stepping in front of the mirror. I don’t even look at my face while putting on my makeup. I go heavy on the eyeliner as usual and then I brush my teeth. Yeah I realize that I do things weird, but that’s me. I’m a total freak. Honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Have you seen my car keys?” I ask my mom who is sitting at her computer desk in the living room probably feeding her addiction to Facebook.

“Did you check your car?” she replies without looking up. Her fingers flow over the keyboard like silk over skin.

I laugh to myself because I honestly didn’t think of looking in my car. “No. I can’t ever remember that if I left them in there.”

Her chestnut colored hair falls over her shoulder when she turns to look at me. I used to have the same color hair. It was long and flowing just like hers, until my appearance became my shield. Her violet colored eyes I still have though. That’s why Grammy named her Elizabeth Taylor. Well at least she got to be called Elizabeth Chambers all her life. Elizabeth is a common enough name. Norma Jean on the other hand is nowhere near common. The only other person I know who was named NJ was Marilyn Monroe which, just so happens, I’m named after.

I do believe it’s an honor to be named after one of the most beautiful women ever. It’s just I could never fill her shoes. I had terrible acne for most of my teens that left serious scars all over my face. Hence the reason I don’t look at my face. Ever. I hide it the best way I know how. My hair is dyed black with extensions of every color of the rainbow hanging about. I style it with bangs that reach my eyes. I like to pull it to the front so people generally look at the colors. I wear a hoop through the piercing in my nose and I also have a Marilyn Monroe. Which is the term for a piercing people get where Marilyn had a beauty mark. I, of course have to have corrective lenses which are huge and an ugly puke color. To top it all off is my ass kicker attitude. Believe me, I know how that sounds but the people I know are assholes. You have to be mean and snobbish to get people to leave you alone around here.

“You’d lose those things if they were in your hands. I don’t know how you could find anything else in this world but your keys.” she shakes her head at me and I smile. I love my mom. She didn’t bat an eyelash when I walked in looking like this a couple of years ago. While some might think that is bad parenting, she just wants me to be me. I had asked her once why she didn’t freak out she simply said “You are you, baby. I love you if you were made of mud. You can be whatever you want to be. Don’t let anyone ever tell you differently.”

“I can’t ever find my phone either. Not that I really use the thing.” I shrug my shoulders. I really do have an issue with losing my keys and my phone. Everything else I can find in 5 seconds flat. It’s a gift really.

I move over to the old grey couch in front of the TV to slip on my lime green converses. Moms best friend and co-worker Stacy has a 1 year old granddaughter that I watch on the weekends. It was really hard to take the job seeing as her son is the reason I’m a social outcast. He bullied me for years and now I have no self-esteem or social skills, well in the boy department anyway.

Chance mother fucking Duncan is the most beautiful boy ever. Rich dark auburn hair that hangs down to his chin. Matching eyebrows that arch over the most amazing hazel eyes ever. Caramel hues mixed in with green swirls. If I didn’t feel such uncontrollable rage towards the guy I could fall into those eyes. Full masculine lips and sharp nose and cheeks make up the perfect face. Plus he is the all-state basketball champion or whatever. I have no clue about sports, I just know he plays the one with the bouncing orange ball.

I, of course being a girl with impressible emotions had the hugest crush on him. It was sad really the first day he tormented me. Not only was I extremely upset about my face, I was upset this guy I had allowed myself to feel for, was someone I shouldn’t have felt for.

Chance’s sister is a complete and total whore. It might sound harsh but she abandoned Macy, her daughter, who is the most beautiful girl in the world. She doesn’t even know who the father is. She had wanted an abortion but Stacy told her she would take the baby and raise it. Chance in an act of chivalry told her he would help. I guess he isn’t a complete bastard….well no, he is.

“Be good tonight!” I tell my mother as I head out the front door. I walk down the gravel driveway to my black two door cobalt. Which is parked next to mom’s corolla. We could never afford the payments on both cars so my dad decided to buy me a car. Thanks old man. I don’t see him much and he never really helped with anything to begin with. My parents were 16 when I was born. Dad was immature and honestly didn’t know how to handle me. Now he is a New York Times best-seller, which isn’t an excuse in my book. He is always busy with signings or writing. Whatever like I need him in my life or anything.

I spot my keys in the ignition and climb in. I pull out my pack of Camel Menthols and light one up. Turning the keys I crack my window and turn on the CD player. Spill Canvas flows out of the speakers and I sing along to the lyrics. “Yeah he’s a looker but I really think it’s guts that matter most. I displayed them for you strung out about from coast to coast…”

It’s about a 10 minute drive to the Duncan household. Stacy and Rick have been divorced for a couple of years now. He lives on the other side of town with his new half his age wife. I personally blame him for the ways of his children. Not only is the man a complete asshole he flaunted his affairs around town for everyone to see. I did in fact see, so I can almost understand why Chance treated me the way he did, but that’s still not an excuse. He has no humanity in him anywhere. You just don’t say the things he has said to me and be a decent person.

I flick my cigarette out the window before pulling into the driveway of the two story brick house. I grab my pomegranate body spray out of the passenger seat and let the mist flow around my body before getting my messenger bag out of the backseat.

“Hello?” I call as I walk into the entry. Before me is a long hallway that has open doorways to the living room, dining room and kitchen. At the end is the stairs for the upstairs and a door for the laundry room. I walk to the living room entry way and peek inside. The cream carpet is covered with toys for Macy but there is no sign of anyone.

“In the kitchen!” Stacy yells. I laugh when I hear a crash. Must be peas tonight.

I walk into the modern kitchen and set my bag down on the white granite counter. “What’s up Macy?” I say to the little blonde haired blue eyed toddler. She gives me a big goofy grin and claps her hands.

“Thank god you are here! You are the only one who can get her to eat peas.” Stacy looks frantic, as if Macy doesn’t eat right now she might die.

She is sitting in a chair in front of Macy’s high chair and I walk over to take the baby food and spoon. “Go get out of here, I got this.” I wink and play airplane with the spoon to get Macy to eat it.

Stacy quickly grabs her purse off the counter and heads down the hall before turning back around. She rushes over to us and kisses us both on the cheek. “Love you pretty ladies! See you in the morning.” And she is out the door.

After I get Macy fed and bathed we settle in the living room to play. She is just learning to walk so it’s fun to lead her around with my finger. This baby laughs at everything. Funny faces, tickles, and she really loves when I make fun of Chance. I’m sure she has no idea what the hell I’m saying or doing but giggles none the less.

Around nine I settle her in bed with her sippy cup and pink teddy bear Chance got her when she was born. She will not go to sleep without it at night. I kiss her chubby baby cheek “Love you Mace, sleep good.” I smile to myself before I walk out of her room and go down the stairs.

I grab my bag out of the kitchen before heading into the living room and spreading my stuff out to get this week’s homework done. After a few hours I get really tired and lay back on the couch and fall asleep.

Chance

I’m trying to get into my house, but there are three front doors and I can’t decide which door to stick my key in. I finally try the middle one and the key slips into the lock. I open the door and stumble inside where I nearly knock over the end table mom set in the hallway.

“Fuck.” I say as I rub my hand down my face. I didn’t realize I would be coming home tonight or I wouldn’t have gotten this drunk. I usually stay with my best friend Creed on the weekends but he has a steady girlfriend now and I would rather not listen to them having sex.

Passing the living room I do a double take when I see a girl lying on the couch. My eyes must be playing tricks on me because there is no way that freak is in my living room. I take a few unsteady steps towards her and get a better look. Her long black hair is laid out around her head with those crazy ass colors and I can’t help but suck in a breath. She looks like the angel of death, a very beautiful angel of death.

Her ugly ass glasses are sitting on the coffee table next to a few text books, so I’m assuming she was doing homework before she fell asleep. I guess this is the reason mom didn’t want me around at all on the weekends. I remember the day my mom found out what I had been doing to Norma. You ain’t ever seen a tiny ass women hold a 15 year old boy down and spank his ass like she did. I couldn’t sit for a week.

I have to assume it’s the alcohol that makes her look so damn intriguing tonight. Or maybe it’s the fact I can actually see her face and she looks so fucking sweet asleep like she is. Her skin isn’t as scarred as I would have thought, considering what she looked like before. There are only a few places and they aren’t even noticeable until you get right up to her face like I am.

Wait? What? How the hell did I end up this close to her? I don’t even remember moving. Then it doesn’t matter because I’m amazed at how gorgeous she is sleeping like this. I’m used to angry words and glares from her. The peaceful way she is breathing makes me feel things I don’t want to feel. We would never work together. She hates me and I hate myself for what I did to her.

I know you’re like, he called her a freak…well that’s how she comes off. With the crazy hair and baggy clothes. The obsession with reptiles and spiders. She screams freak even though I know she isn’t one.

I find myself wanting to taste her lips like I have never wanted to taste anyone else. Her heart shaped face and peach skin call to me. Her little button nose giving her a perky sweet quality, which I know she doesn’t possess. I want to run my fingers through her hair to see if it is as soft as it looks. I want things…its really freaking out my drunken brain.

I never want things. I blame my father. When I was 12 I found him fucking my new step-mom in my parent’s bed. I can still see him completely naked thrusting into her. Her fake breasts bouncing up and down. I can still hear him groaning and her moaning. I felt so sick I went and threw up my lunch. Which makes it even worse considering he knew my sister and I were home. He didn’t even care to hide his affair from anyone, least of all his children. I’m still fucked up over it. I’m just happy my mother didn’t see it. I wouldn’t wish the pain of it on anyone.

“What the fuck are you doing?” comes her throaty voice. She talks like a lounge singer who smokes too many cigarettes. Before I can catch myself I lean into her neck and inhale her pomegranate smell. Sweet and tangy. If I wasn’t so drunk I wouldn’t even be this close to her, but then I wouldn’t notice the way her small breasts rise up and down with her labored breath. I’m doing that to her. I get a feeling of satisfaction. That’s when I kiss her neck lightly.

“I have no idea.” I tell her softly and truthfully. I have no idea what I am doing. She was here and looking so damn beautiful I couldn’t stop myself.

“Umm…maybe…you…yeah…” she sighs as I place more kisses up her neck. When I come to her ear lobe I gently pull it into my mouth and bite down gently. I flick it with my tongue and I hear her gasp. I let go and smile as I rub my nose along her cheek heading straight for those heart shaped lips. God she smells so good.

I look into her violet eyes and see the storm of pure lust, which matches my own. I can’t figure it out, why I feel like this. Maybe it’s because I have never had sex before and Gina had gotten me worked up at the party. She pulled me out onto the dance floor and ground her entire body into mine. It was so hot and sexy. She got too sick to go through with anything though. Not that I would have had sex with her, I refuse to go down that road unless I’m in love. I can’t do what my dad did. I can’t have mindless sex like that and hurt people around me.

I don’t think anymore as I press my lips against hers. They are soft and subtle, starting a fire in my body I can’t hope to put out. My dick comes to life fast like it has vengeance on its mind for my virginity. At first it is gentle but I can’t handle gentle, so I shove my tongue through her slightly parted lips and smash into her tongue. She pulls her hands through my hair pulling it slightly behind my head. I lift up from the floor never leaving her lips and climb on top of her. I hold myself up on one arm and run the other from her side, past her breast and through her long ass hair. God it is so soft.

I suck her tongue into my mouth and nibble gently as I lower myself down more fully on her. I take my hand out of her hair and pull her leg up over my hip. She moves the other one on her own and I groan as my erect cock comes in contact with her warm heat. She lets a sigh past our lips as I start to move against her. It’s soft and it’s torture. But I wouldn’t move harder if you paid me to. Her hips move with me and I feel a pressure build up in my spine. I’m going to blow if I don’t stop. God I don’t want to stop. That’s when I stop kissing her and lean over the couch to puke up everything I drank tonight.

*****

When I wake up the next morning I can barely see out of my eyes but there is something poking me in the face. There is a red headed woman with her finger in my face. Oh shit. Mom. “What’s going on?” I ask her.

That’s when I feel something shift underneath me. What the fuck is that? “Well I would like to know what the hell you two are doing?” Mom questions. Two?

“Umm I fell asleep in the wrong bed?” I hear a throaty voice say next to my face. Who the fuck is that?

“Well Norma Jean I would say so.” Mom states. “Though I would like to know what you are doing home Chance?” she throws her hazel eyes my way.

I feel all the blood drain my face as I become paler then I usually am. “Creed has a steady girlfriend and I didn’t want to listen to them having sex all night.” I’m in a bed with Norma Jean Davis. The freak of our school and the reason I hate myself more than I hate my dad. What the hell did I drink last night?

“Can you like get off of me now?” Norma asks me softly. That’s when I open my eyes all the way and realize that I’m pretty much holding her hostage in my bed. She is laying on her back and I’m more than half way on top of her. One of my legs is thrust between hers and I realize I’m not wearing a shirt. Though I’m still in my jeans, but it’s not like I can hide my morning wood.

“Sorry.” I mutter as I sit up too fast and my head spins. I feel as if I might puke but I push it back. The dizziness leaves but I feel as if someone is playing music really loud in my head. I feel the bed dip as Norma gets up to leave. I peek my eyes up and zone in on her ass as she sways out of the room. Fuck I have got to stop this obsession I have with her.

Mom glares at me all the way out of my room. I guess she can tell I have no idea what the hell happened. Since Norma has all her clothes on I’m guessing not much. If I had known she was Macy’s babysitter, I would have stayed far away from this house last night. Being drunk there is no telling what I said to her or what the fuck I did. God. I’m going to kill Creed.

I force my feet into my adjoining bathroom and strip off my jeans and boxers. I step into the luke warm water and scrub the drunken night from my body. I don’t remember anything after leaving Creeds house, so I’m hoping Norma can fill me in. Though I don’t really want to talk to her since she hates my guts and tells me every chance she gets. It hurts to hear those things come out of her mouth, but I think it’s less painful then what I put her through.

I find myself palming my erection while leaning my head against the cold tile wall of the shower stall. I close my eyes and all I see is her. Her ass when she walks out of my room and then I think of the way she felt underneath me this morning. And somewhere I get the sound of her moaning and sighing and the feel of her soft hair as I run my fingers through it.

It doesn’t take me long to get off…it never does when I think about her. I know I’m sick, I’m a fucking stalker. I’m obsessed and it’s not healthy. I don’t even know why either. I hardly ever talk to her. If I try she throws her hate and anger in my face. I know she has a right too, but damn. I don’t want to want her like this. I have tried to make myself stop but every day at school I find myself looking for her. I end up with my eyes on her and watching every move she makes. It’s so fucking insane.

I get out of the shower and walk into my room with a towel wrapped around my waist. I pull out a black polo and dark washed jeans and a clean pair of boxers and socks. I get dressed right before someone knocks on my bedroom door. “Come in.” I say hoping it’s my mom.

When mom walks through the door I breathe a sigh of relief. “I want you gone, and you better stay that way until Sunday afternoon.” She points her finger at me and walks right back out the door.

Chapter 2

Norma

Last night was the weirdest, craziest, freakiest thing that has ever happened to me. To be honest I kind of think I lost my mind. There is no way I made out with Chance Duncan on his living room couch. And no way had I sat there for an hour cleaning up his puke before his mom got home. And no way had I gone in to check on him where he pulled me into bed with him and proceeded to hold me hostage until his mom woke us up this morning.

That was a fun conversation to have this afternoon. Stacy wanted to know what the hell had happened and I lied through my teeth. I’m the perfect liar so she didn’t even suspect I wasn’t being truthful.

I pretty much told her that I was so tired the night before, I went into the wrong room to lay down. When I woke up this morning, Chance was on top of me and she was giving us a death stare. I mean she knows us so I don’t think she would have even believed me if I told her what really happened.

She left about an hour ago for work. I’m sitting in the living room watching Macy play with her toys while I slowly run a finger over my lips. I can still feel him there. I can still feel his fingers in my hair and his hips between my legs. I have been kissed before, but not like that. It was insane! I just hope he was too drunk to remember what the hell happened.

Around nine I put Macy down for the night. I got all my homework done while she took a nap this afternoon. So I decide to sit in front of the television and watch Pawn Stars. I like to laugh at the people who seriously think they are going to get full price for their item. It’s a pawn shop! They have to make a profit and these people act like that isn’t common sense.

Headlights pull up into the driveway and I feel my breathing get labored. No freaking way. I hear a car door shut and ten seconds later the front door opening. I hope it’s Stacy. Please let it be Stacy.

When he steps into the living room I can’t help but get light headed. Why does the boy have to look so damn good? His hair is pulled out of his face and tied behind his head. The sharp planes of his face stand out more and his hazel eyes search me out in the room. The look he is giving me has this strange effect on my body. Like there is a fire running through me taking away any thought I have that doesn’t include him. Or the way he feels on top of me. Or the way he kisses like a starved man.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” I whisper out. I’m not stupid or a prude. I know what that look means. He wants me. What bugs me about it though is why? Why treat me like complete shit for months and then all of a sudden decide I’m worth heated glances and drunken make out sessions on a couch.

“I know.” Only two words. No explanation for why he is here. He hasn’t ever talked much in all the years I have known him. He speaks in short sentences and looks. His eyes are so expressive you don’t really have to hear him speak.

“Then why are you?” I say louder than I did before.

“I want to know what happened last night.” He says in that deep velvety voice.

“You know what happened last night.” The confusion on his face tells me he doesn’t remember everything. But the heat in those eyes tells me he remembers something.

“I really don’t.” He steps all the way into the living room and I take in his white polo that fits tight across his muscular chest. His wool pea coat is hanging on his arm like he just took it off. His dark wash jeans hug his legs showing off the powerful muscles he has hidden behind the fabric.

I decide to be bold. Something I have picked up on since the first day he hurt me. I have this overwhelming need to hurt him too, all of a sudden. I want him to live with this pain I have. I want him to live with pain that I have caused him and I know just how to do it.

You’re like yeah right. Just hear me out. I’m not an idiot nor am I blind. I see the way he looks at me. I know he follows me with his eyes everywhere I go. I know he feels guilt for what he put me through and I thought for a while that’s what it was about. Like he wanted to get my forgiveness or something. After last night I know he is attracted to me. He shouldn’t have shown me his cards because I’m ready to play a grown up game.

I will make him fall in love with me. Then I will rip his heart out of his chest. It’s the perfect revenge.

I get up off the couch and slowly make my way over to him. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as I approach. He shifts uncomfortably on his feet and it sends a small thrill through me that I make him nervous. “You want me to give you details?” I ask sweetly when I get within inches of his body.

He nods his head slowly like he can’t figure out what I’m doing. I really don’t know what I’m doing but I have read enough books and watched enough movies to get the gist of it.

“You came home last night really drunk. You came in here while I was asleep and got down on your knees in front of me.” I pause to run my finger down his shirt. “I woke up to find you hovering over my face and as I asked you what you were doing, you leaned in and kissed me.” I start to whisper this next part as I guide my hand around his neck. “It was soft at first, gentle even. Then I ran my fingers through your hair and pulled. After that you were suddenly on top of me with your hands in my hair and kissing me like you would drown without my lips. Then you pulled my legs around your waist and started grinding.” I stand on the tips of my toes and say the next part softly against his lips. “Softness to hardness.” He visibly shudders and I smile on the inside. I pull away to finish the rest of my story. “Then you puked all over the living room floor. I got you up to your room and spent an hour down here cleaning up the puke. I went to make sure you weren’t drowning in anymore and that’s when you pulled me in the bed with you. I tried to get out but every time I almost got away you would pull me back under you. You know what happened after that.”

His face is pulled into a look of disgust and I wonder what he is more disgusted by. Puking or kissing me. “That’s really gross. I’m sorry you had to clean up my puke.”

“I didn’t do it for you. I did it for your mom, because I know you would never have cleaned it up.” I turn away from him and go back to sit on the couch.

“Thank you.” Is all he says. He continues to just stand there almost lost in thought. I want to give him a snarky comment but I hold back. I’ll have to be nice to him to get my plan underway.

He finally comes out of his thoughts and moves to join me on the couch. My body starts to feel electrified when he sits right beside me. We are touching from the shoulder all the way down to our knees. I want to be immune to him but I know I never will be. That kiss last night made sure of that. Hormones are a bitch.

I change the channel on the TV to some romance I have no interest in watching. I want him to get whatever he has on his mind off of his chest. “Just say it. The suspense is killing me.”

I turn my head to look at him. His head is tipped down and he is studying his fingers like they hold all the answers. I decide to give him an olive branch and tip his head up with my finger on his chin. I catch his eyes, “Just say it. I’m not going to hold it against you.”

He scrapes his top teeth over his bottom lip and I start to tingle. Yes, I just said tingle. I’m ashamed of myself since it’s like the most girly thing that has ever left my mouth. “I don’t know what this is. I don’t know why I feel this way. We don’t know each other. You hate my guts. Not that I blame you, but why would we make out and…like it?”

I chuckle and really I didn’t think he would be so dense about it. “It’s called attraction. Though I don’t know why you’re attracted to me. I remember a time when you called me zithead every day for weeks.”

He flinches and I get a sense of satisfaction at his discomfort. “I was young and stupid. I didn’t know how to handle things and you were the easiest target. I know that doesn’t make it right but I wish I hadn’t said those things. You didn’t deserve it.”

I want to tell him he’s damn right I didn’t deserve it but I refrain. My heart even warms to him a little with the “I wish I hadn’t said those things,” comment. Wanting to take them back shows a feeling of guilt. I want him to feel guilty. I want him to hate himself as much as I hate myself. “I’m over it. It was years ago.” Lie.

His hazel eyes look deep into mine. I see hope swimming around in there and I can only wonder what he sees in mine. “I just want you to forgive me.” He doesn’t add “so I can live easier”, but I know it’s what he wants. He should know I would never forgive him.

“You can work on it. Maybe one day I will.” Lie. He gives me a half smile and I feel myself show him one in return. This might be easier than I thought.

I turn my head away from him and back on the TV. And like the guy he is, I feel his hand creep up on to my thigh. His fingers twine with mine and I shiver at the feel of his breath on my neck. I turn my face slowly towards his. He is so close to me, it kind of freaks me out. I don’t get this close to other people. I don’t want them to get a good look at my face. He rubs his nose along mine and says, “Kiss me.”

I admit my breathing becomes panting at his softly spoken words. “Why?” I ask looking right at his lips. They look soft yet firm and I have phantom feelings ghost across my own at the memory of last night.

“Because I want to remember it.” Butterflies go off in my stomach. I don’t know where those came from. I don’t want butterflies. I just want the lust, using him is just as bad as what he did to me. But I refuse to feel anything but lust and hate for him.

Chance

I can see she wants to with the way she is breathing and her lustful eyes staring at my lips. It’s truly amazing the color of her eyes. I have never seen it before except on her mom’s face. I didn’t think they were her real color until I looked it up online. Elizabeth Taylor was famous for them. It is so unbelievably beautiful on this girl. This girl who I spent years hurting because of my own pain. She doesn’t think she is beautiful, but she is. Oh she is.

I finally get tired of the waiting game and place my hand on the back of her head, threading my fingers through her hair. I push her lips to mine and move them softly against hers. She places her hand on my shoulder and clutches my shirt. I groan in the back of my throat as she slips her tongue into my mouth. They tangle together and I find myself pushing her down on the couch with my upper body.

I just wanted it to be soft and innocent, this is not. It’s like she pushes every button I didn’t know I had. She moans when I put most of my weight down on top of her. I want to take off this shirt and see what her body looks like. She pulls the holder out of my hair and gently tugs on it bringing a little bit of pain and pleasure.

I groan when she slips her hands under my shirt and slides them up my torso. I take my hand from her hair and slip it under her shirt. I hold myself up with my other arm so I can take full advantage of this. Her skin is so soft and it erupts with goose flesh as I slide my hand back and forth over her flat stomach. There is a dangly belly button ring and I gently tug on it making her arch her back. Both of her legs wrap around my waist and I fight to not thrust my dick against her warm jeans.

“Take off your shirt.” She whispers against my lips and I don’t hesitate to lift up and tear it over my head. She takes her time to look over my chest and stomach and when she licks those swollen lips I groan.

“What are you doing to me, smalls?” I say right before I start kissing her again. I finally lose the battle of not thrusting against her. I think my brain is about to run out the door and my dick will take over. I’m not ready for this. I have made out plenty of times don’t get me wrong, but this is different. She is different. I’m so lost in what we are doing, someone could walk in right now and I wouldn’t know.

She starts pushing me off of her and I feel like I a kicked a puppy. “Macy.” Is all she says when I give her a confused look. That’s when I hear my niece crying. Norma scrambles out from under me and shoots off the couch. “Coming baby girl!” she lets out in a calming voice as I sit on the couch trying to catch my breath.

She disappears around the corner and I wait to hear her go up the stairs before I pull on my shirt and leave the room. Instead of heading after her to see Macy, I head for the front door picking my keys up off the end table. Macy is still crying after I shut the front door. It hurts to leave her crying like that. Though mom would never let Norma take care of her unless she knows what she is doing.

I jump in my old white Ford and back out of the driveway. I try not to think about what just happened, but my brain has other ideas. I don’t want to remember that she tastes like the sweetest chocolate or that she smells like pomegranates. I don’t want to remember the way she feels soft in all the right places and she fits perfectly under me, like she was made to be there. I admit that I am freaking out. I’ve never wanted to devour anyone like that before. It doesn’t help she wasn’t wearing those awful glasses so I could read her eyes perfectly. Or that she was actually nice to me, well somewhat.

Before I know it I’m pulled up into Creed’s driveway. He has a party going on, as usual. His house is pretty much the only one we can party at. His dad died when he was eight and his mom is doped up on pills most of the time. Hell she even parties with us sometimes. I used to think it was cool when I was 16. Now I think she is just a neglectful mother with serious issues.

I find Creed in his bedroom staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t party as much anymore. It’s all about the show with him. It’s almost like he can’t stand for anyone to see he doesn’t like this shit. I don’t most of the time. I got into a huge fight with my dad yesterday and needed something to make this pain go away.

“Contemplating why the sheet rock is smooth?” I ask him seriously.

“Wondering why my mom needs to fuck herself up so much. I spent all night with her in the bathroom.” He sighs and rubs a hand down his face. “She’s down there tonight drinking vodka like it’s water after taking 2 oxycodone. Life is not that bad.”

“I can’t even begin to explain the actions of your mother. Can you explain my dad? They are the way they are. There’s nothing we can do about it.” I move away from the door and sit on his bed. This is the Creed no one knows. The serious guy who doesn’t find humor in the actions of others. The one I see down there with those people is fake. This is the Creed I like, the real Creed.

“We go off to college in a few months. What the hell am I going to do? I’ll be worried about her overdosing the whole time I’m away.” He sits up beside me and hangs his head.

“I know you care about her, she’s your mom. You have to understand though she doesn’t care about anything. Only the next high. If she wants to kill herself, let her. You’ve taken her to rehab, she just won’t get better. Her intervention was a joke. I know this is harsh but I don’t want you to fuck up your future because you’re worried about your mom.” I say this to the back of his head, since he won’t look up at me when I talk.

“I know,” comes his muffled reply. I know he’s hurting but I don’t want him to get lost here. I don’t want him to fall into the same route his mother is on. He deserves better than this place.

“I made out with Norma Jean Davis.” I blurt out after a really long silence. I cringe at the words. She is this tiny little thing with crazy ass hair, black clothing, and the temper of a wild animal. Her name seriously needs to be on some country fried girl in daisy dukes and pigtails.

He slowly brings his head up and his brown eyes are huge. “Umm…what?”

I flush because I’m embarrassed about how this all came around. “Apparently while I was beyond drunk last night I kind of kissed her. Which lead to making out. Then I threw up. Which she cleaned up. Then I held her hostage all night long.”

I open my mouth to go on but he jumps in, “Wait, you held her hostage? Why the hell would you do that?”

“I was drunk. I don’t remember any of it. She pretty much said she came to check on me and I pulled her in bed with me. Anytime she went to leave I wouldn’t let her.” It sounds so bad like that.

“Well if you don’t remember it, then it didn’t happen. You know how much she hates you. She would never tell anyone.” He has a point but I don’t really want to hide it. This makes me a sick bastard. What am I doing?

“Well, that would be true if we hadn’t made out again tonight.” Creed shakes his dark blonde head and holds back laughter.

“You never surprise me. You live on autopilot.” He is full blown laughing at me now. “You have knocked my fucking socks off. What possessed you to make out with Norma? I mean really, Norma?”

The same thing has been going through my head since I left the house. “I can’t tell you what was going through my head last night, but tonight she was being all sultry and sexy. I let my dick lead me. I would have lost my virginity on my mom’s couch if Macy hadn’t woke up. I haven’t been this freaked out about anything in years. I can’t focus my thoughts. I keep seeing her in my head. I feel her under my palms. I think I’m losing my mind.”

“Whoa…just whoa.” We both sit there in silence for a minute. I have shocked Creed Donovan, the ever talker, into silence. “Okay so you are telling me you have the hots for Norma? I mean zitface freak Norma? I can’t even comprehend that. She will eat you alive.”

“Don’t call her that. You know there isn’t a zit on her face anymore. She’s actually really pretty now.” I pause and scrunch up my face. “Okay that sounded lame. You know what I mean.”

“Oh I know she is pretty now. I’m just surprised you noticed. I mean come on, you’re the one who came up with those names.” I flinch. I know it’s true but that doesn’t mean I want to hear it.

“I know. I’ve been watching her lately. She makes me feel things I haven’t ever felt before. She makes my body crazy. Which is weird considering I hooked up with Devon Bridges.” Devon is the head cheerleader and the finest piece of ass in our school. Creed’s words not mine.

Before Creed can say anything his bedroom door bursts open. I suck in a breath when Marley Chambers walks into the room. Norma’s cousin. Let me tell you about Marley. 6’4 about 230 pounds, black hair he spikes up in the front and the same violet eyes as Norma. The boy is stacked and can kick the shit out of me. Which he has a few times because of shit I said to his cousin. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he asks me in a voice filled with rage.

I can feel my eyes bugging out of my head and my jaw touching the ground. Why would she tell him? “She told you?” is the only thing I can get out of my mouth. I feel hurt that she would, considering she knows he would come after me.

“Don’t look hurt pretty boy. I went to take her a pack of smokes and asked her why she looked like she went rolling around in the hay. The girl can’t lie to me. I was a little shocked mind you. When she threatened to cut off my balls if I came after you, I just had to know what the fuck you are doing to her now.” He is standing just inside the room and I kind of want to flee. His arms are crossed over his chest and I know he is going to punch me very soon.

“Nothing.” What is she doing to me?

Chapter 3

Norma

I’m lying on the bed in the guest room of Stacy’s house. The ceiling is white with painted swirls all throughout. I used to think it was interesting but now I can’t stop thinking about the past. It makes me want to take him down. I want Chance to hurt as much as I did. This path I have chosen to go down might be hard but he deserves what I’m going to do to him.

I remember the first time he ever said anything to break my heart…

The wind blows through my hair slapping me in the face. Maybe it will slap all these hideous things off. Mom says it’s normal to have acne, but I really don’t think it’s normal to have your entire face covered in them. I feel disgusting and ugly. Mom dropped me off at the front of the school about 10 minutes ago and I haven’t even tried to walk in the front door. I’m scared. They will make fun of me. They are cruel.

I finally pull in a deep breath and forge ahead. When I see Chance Duncan standing by the front doors by himself, I cringe. I have the hugest crush ever on the guy. I mean who wouldn’t with all that beautiful hair and those amazing hazel eyes. The way he smiles with those full lips showing off his perfect white teeth. He is way out of my league.

I try and walk past him without bringing notice to myself, but he sees me anyway. I almost make it to the school doors before he ruins me. Maybe for life.

“Hey zitface, why you going in there? No one wants your ugly mug around here.” he says in his cruel voice. I used to think his voice flowed like melted chocolate but now it’s like getting stuck in a barbed wire fence.

I look up at him with my shoulders tense and tears shining in my eyes. A look of regret passes over his face and I think he might apologize but the hard look returns before he speaks again. “What are you looking at? No one gave you permission to turn your ugly mug this way. Go on before I catch your ugly.”

I can’t even stop the tears now. The salty wetness falls down my cheeks and I wonder if I can run from this place. Where would I go? My mom works graveyard so she will be home. So I turn back towards the door and walk inside with my head lowered. I don’t want them to see me. I don’t want to hear their jokes and the names they will call me. If one of the nicest guys ever thinks I’m so ugly, the rest of them will nearly kill me.

Chance really used to be one of the nicest guys ever. I saw him open doors for people with too much stuff in their hands. Someone spilled something in the lunch room, he was over there helping them clean it up. He says “yes ma’am” and “no sir” and not a lot of boys around here do. He was charitable, compassionate, and mannerly.

That’s what lead to my huge crush on him. One day I ripped my pants when I fell in the hallway. A rather embarrassing incident but before I could freak that everyone could see my underwear, Chance tied his sweater around my waist and took me to the office so I could call my mom. This was of course before I became the hideous monster of our school.

I do realize that he was going through a lot at the time. I had insider information from my mom, but it doesn’t condone all the things he said and did. It won’t change the self-esteem and social issues I now have. I think I will always have them, you just can’t erase that kind of pain. That’s why I want revenge. I want him to suffer just as much if not more than I do. I don’t really care if it’s wrong, what he did was wrong.

No one will ever fuck with me again and get away with it.

It’s two o’clock in the morning when I hear a knock on the door. Since Stacy didn’t call to let me know she was coming home early I assume its Chance. Great just what I need. It even hurts that he left after that intense kiss. Which just gives me more incentive to fuck him over.

“Come in.” I call out softly.

I try to hold in my breath so I don’t gasp at his face. The once flawless pale skin is black and blue around his left eye. His lip is busted but he looks even better than before. It throws off his good boy vibe and leaves an “I’m a bad mother fucker” look to him. It’s only egged on by the glare in his eyes, which is directed right at me. Shit.

“What happened to your face?” I question.

“Marley.” he rasps out. Which is what I thought. Marley wasn’t too happy with hearing Chance kissed me…twice.

“Oh.” is all I have to say to him. I’m not going to apologize for it. I can’t really lie to my cousin, and I really needed cigarettes.

He looks at me sharply and I cringe deeper into the bed. He stalks his body over to the bed and sits down. He doesn’t touch me but I can feel his heat on my legs where his back almost touches them.

“Why?” he asks very softly that I almost don’t catch it.

I pretend I don’t know what he is talking about. “He asked me why I had sex hair and swollen lips. I can’t lie to him. I didn’t think he would beat you up.”

He rests his head in his hands with his arms resting on this thighs. He lets out a whoosh and shakes his head slowly. I feel like complete shit about it to be honest. I knew Marley would beat him up. I’m pretty sure when we were younger he threatened Chance within an inch of his life if he ever talked to me again.

“Why?” he asks again, this time with anger in his voice. Which I’ll admit makes me shiver.

I ponder on this question for a few tense silent minutes before I give him what he wants. “I don’t know why you’re asking me. You’re the one who kissed me last night. For some reason I won’t even begin to wonder about, I liked it. I wanted more. It’s the most fucked up thing that has ever happened, but there you go.”

He turns those hazel eyes my way and something stirs in my belly. Something I don’t want to feel, yet I never want it to go away. A smile plays about his lips and I involuntary bite my lip. Then he speaks, and I wished he hadn’t. “It’s like opening my eyes for the first time ever. I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you. I can’t figure it out. You’re the only person I should stay away from. Everything I ever said to you before this weekend was wrong. I could see what it was doing to you, but I couldn’t stop myself. Maybe I just want to make up for all that. I want you to be happy.”

At this point I’m very pissed off. If he wanted me to be happy and normal then he shouldn’t have been the reason I’m not. “You can take that shit and get out. I don’t need you to make me happy. You’ve done enough in my life.” I’m breathing heavy and I really want to punch him in the other eye. I truly think I might cry and I promised myself this asshole would never make me cry again.

“I’m not going to leave, Norma. I want to make all that stuff up to you. You deserve to be treated with respect, like a human being. I have to do that.” His big warm hand smooths over mine and tingles shoot up my arm. I clinch my eyes shut to beat back those tears that want to spill.

“You want to be able to live with yourself, is what you really want. It’s actually really selfish if you ask me.” He squeezes my hand and I pretend I don’t like the way it feels. I pretend I don’t like the way he touches me.

“Look at me.” he softly commands. I keep my eyes shut. I will not look at him. We sit in silence again before I feel him shift around on the bed. I was hoping he was getting up to leave but I feel his heat above me. My body shivers of its own accord. “Look at me.” he whispers in my ear.

My eyes pop open and he is hovering above me. I think I start panting at this point. His face is in shadows, making his eyes black. It’s actually pretty freaky. “What?” I squeak out.

“I remember the natural color of your hair. I liked it but I love this black. It makes those violet eyes of yours pop and your skin a beautiful peach color. You freaking glow for crying out loud. It makes me follow you with my eyes where ever you go.” He says all this while staring into my eyes. It’s intense and mind blowing. “This face,” he says while his hand comes up to cup my cheek and rub his thumb along the bone. “May have once been something you weren’t proud of, but now, now it’s so beautiful. These red lips I go crazy for. This perfect little nose. Big ole eyes you can get lost in.” He trails kisses along each places he describes and I feel my hands bunch into his t-shirt, unconsciously trying to pull him closer. “I don’t want to make you happy for me, no Smalls, I want to make you happy for you. You deserve all the happiness I have taken away from you. It was wrong and I’m trying to make it right.”

I think that is the most I have ever heard him speak. It’s usually one word answers and questions. Grunted statements. Those softly spoken words flow through me and my brain doesn’t seem to work anymore. “Okay.” That tiny smile at the edge of his lips is back. I know what he is asking, in that unspoken way of his. Saying something without really saying it.

He kisses my cheek gently and my lashes flutter. My breathing is still labored and I start to wonder who is playing who in this situation. I start running ideas around in my head, something that will get him made fun of. Something he will never live down. I need to add a show of affection for me in there. Make him declare it in front of the whole school. It has to be epic.

He climbed off the bed while I was lost in my thoughts. He is just standing there looking down at me funny. “What?” I know I don’t have anything in my teeth or on my face. He was just up close and personal with it.

“I’m afraid of what’s in there.” He points at my head. That makes me chuckle. He really should be scared.

“So you like want to date me or something?” I ask with a cocky edge to my voice. I think I found the perfect thing for him to do. Now I’m just plain giddy.

“Umm…yeah.” And I pretend that just didn’t make my stomach flip. Yeah I’m in so over my head.

“Then I want you to go to school in a dress on Monday.” The look on his face is priceless. “And ask me out in front of everyone.”

Chance

The look on Creeds face says it all. I look completely ridiculous. Before mom got home this morning, I found one of her old dresses from when she was pregnant with me. The shoulders fit very tight but at least the rest is free flowing. It’s dark blue and looks even worse with my orange tennis shoes.

“That color really brings out the color of your hair,” he says before he burst out laughing. I don’t blame him. This was the stupidest thing I ever got myself into.

“Shut up.” I say menacingly. He shuts up though. “Norma.”

The new looks also says it all. “She asked you to wear a dress?” I nod slowly. “That’s fucked up dude. I knew she was crazy.”

“She’s not. I just want her to be happy.” And I really do. I want to see her smile every day. I want to see that smile shine out through those eyes. Their violet color haunt me in my dreams. The loneliness and hurt project on every section of my brain. It’s all my fault.

“Dude, quit beating yourself up about that. It was years ago. She’s over that shit.” I wonder sometimes if he ever uses the eyes in his head. That girl is not okay. I notice the way she looks at everyone with anger. Everything out of her mouth is either rude or sarcastic. She pushes everyone away, and she is left unhappy, pissed off, and hurt. “Besides, you shouldn’t have to go through all this for some girl. I don’t care how hot she is. You wouldn’t have to chase any of these other girls.”

He’s right. I wouldn’t. They see a pretty face, nice body and they go in heat. I don’t want any of them. I want something or someone that will mean something to me. Someone no else has. Norma would give that to me. And I know this because she is the only girl I have been sexually attracted to. And I mean really attracted. Yeah I’m a guy, I get turned on looking at a good body on any of these girls. None of them have ever made me want to have sex. Not this badly at least. I think about her under me, on top of me, beside me all the freaking time. It’s unnerving. It took me a long time to figure it out though. “I know,” is all I reply to him.

“Here she comes.” Creed whispers next to me. He’s standing by his sleek black 69 Shelby he inherited from his dad. Seriously jealous of him on that front.

I looked up and there she was. The glasses and the crazy color extension were gone from her head. She looked almost normal except for the baggy band t-shirt and holey dark jeans. Plus the lime green converses. Though the way she swaggers toward me, makes me extremely happy. I don’t think she even knows she walks like that. I even notice a few guys standing around staring at her butt. Not cool.

She has the goofiest grin plastered on her face and I can’t help but to smile a little back at her. “I have to admit I didn’t think you would do it.” She lets out a giggle, and it’s very endearing. “Fine, I’ll go out with you.”

“Thank god.” I reply. I pull this hideous thing over my head and mange to catch her staring at my chest. I’m not built like a brick house or anything but I’m in shape and I can tell she likes it. I chuckle to myself and open the door to my truck, pulling out a black polo I stored in there before leaving my house. I wore jeans under the dress, because there was no way I was walking around in that dress without them.

After pulling on the shirt, I start to notice the parking lot was really quiet. When I first got here the same thing happened. I even had a few people take pictures which I’m sure are already on Facebook. Never gonna live this down. I got plenty of laughs but I’m glad she didn’t turn me down. It makes me want to jump up and down pumping my fist in the air. Not that I would ever do that.

Norma has a beautiful blush covering her cheeks and Creed is silently laughing. Every girl in the whole parking lot is staring at me now. Just great. Like I really want their attention, so of course I do something to make them get over it. Norma doesn’t see it coming as I cup my hands on her cheeks and lean my lips down to brush against her. I groan before slipping my tongue into her mouth after she gasps, letting me in. I can tell she is surprised but like every time before she surrenders to me. Her arms go around my waist and under the back of my shirt eliciting another groan from me.

I break away from those lips before we start dry humping in front of the school. That would definitely end up on Facebook. “I’m glad.” I whisper against her ear. And there is another reason I want her so bad, she gets me. I don’t have to explain myself when I talk in clipped sentences. I hate talking to begin with, so this makes it so much easier.

She rolls her eyes as she looks up at me. “Come on, let’s go to class.” She places her tiny hand in mine and drags me along towards the front doors of the school.

I look behind me towards Creed who has a small smile on his face and lift my chin. “Later,” he calls back.

*****

To say the day was strange is an understatement. By the time the bell rang for first period, everyone and I mean everyone knew I had worn a dress to school for Norma. I had people gawking at me all day because I had kissed her in the parking lot. I don’t think she fared much better. They all know our history and I’m pretty sure they were all stumped. I don’t really care what anyone else thinks. Only her.

Though she was more surprised than anyone when I showed up outside during lunch to sit with her. There is a patch of grass out back where a few of the smokers go at lunch. She about dropped her smoke when I sat down next to her. She quickly got over it until all my basketball buddies showed up because for some reason they would all be lost without me.

I hardly got to talk to her at all, but I figured I had time for that. Like Friday night when I plan to take her out for some food and to see a movie. Mom is off that night so she won’t have to watch Macy. Just her and me and hopefully no weird gawkers. You would think these people had better things to do then stare at us.

By the end of the day, I was so ready to get out of that place. She parked her cobalt three spaces down and when I got to my truck I looked up and noticed her looking my way. She gave me a small smile and blew me a kiss. Which was charming and made me laugh. The preppy it boy getting blown kisses from the rocker chick. We make a strange pair.

I pull up outside my house, my mind solely on Norma. Which is starting to be an all the time thing. Boy do I have it bad. Shaking my head, I climb out of my truck. Slamming the door I head towards my front door, with a small smile on my face.

“Mom.” I call out after walking into the house. I throw my keys on the table before rounding the corner into the living room. She is passed out on the couch while Macy sits in the middle of the floor playing with her toys. That little girl is something else. “What you doing baby girl?” I whisper to her.

She giggles at me, since she is at that age where everything is funny. Before I can get to her, she throws her arms up in the air and opens and closes her hands, wanting me to pick her up. I give her a smile and do what she wants. I head out of the living room quietly and head up the stairs to my room. We stop by her room to pick up a few toys and then into mine.

I set the wiggly thing down on my bed before pulling my laptop bag out of my closet. I climb onto my bed with Macy and set up shop on my lap, booting up the computer and opening Facebook. I click on the search bar and type in Norma Jean Davis. The drop down menu shows her face to me and I click on it. Her profile is private so I can’t see any status updates but her picture is adorable. It’s her with those glasses and her mom looking at each other and smiling. I can’t help but smile at myself. I click on the add friend button and set the laptop aside.

I play with Macy for a while before the computer shows I have a new notification. Which says Norma and I are now friends. I waste no time in private messaging her.

Chance: What’s your number?

Norma: Why?

Chance: Because I want to text you

Norma: I don’t know

Chance: You don’t know your own number?

Norma: Yes I know my number. I don’t know about giving it to you.

Chance:

Norma: Cute. 555-8945

I shut down the computer and pull out my phone dialing her number. It rings four times before her smokers voice comes over the line. “Stalker.” She says.

“Nope. Just want to hear your voice.” I state back. And I really do. It’s sexy as hell.

“Trying to butter me up, are you?” she asks.

I laugh into the receiver before replying. “Maybe. Or I just want you to come out with me on Friday.”

“Is it your mom’s weekend off?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine.”

“Good.” The line goes quiet as we enter awkward territory. So I try to make conversation. “What are you doing?”

“Watching Rydstorm move around on my bed.”

“Who’s that?”

“My snake.”

I think I nearly drop the phone. Though I’m not all that surprised. I knew she was hardcore so why wouldn’t she have a snake? “You really have a snake?”

“Yeah. He’s about 5 years old. Yellow and white albino ball python. He is a sweetie though.” She says through the line and I imagine her cooing at the scaly snake.

“I would rather not meet him. I’m scared of them.”

“Well aren’t you a manly man admitting you’re scared of snakes!” I can hear her giggling at me, but I don’t really care.

“Better than pretending that I’m not. Seems pointless.” Macy chooses that moment to throw her stuffed bear in my face. “Ouch, baby girl. No throwing things in people’s faces.” Her little chubby face frowns and she starts to pick up another toy. “Macy…” I trail off.

“Put me on speaker.” Norma says to me, so I do. Though I’m not really sure why.

“Macy honey. We talked about this, it’s rude and mean to throw things. Do you want me to feed you peas again?” Macy hates peas with a burning passion. I have no idea why mom still buys the damn things for her.

Macy looks terrified even for a one year old and I can’t help but chuckle. “I think that worked. I’ll remember to threaten her with peas next time.”

“It’s not a threat, it’s a promise. I would never threaten a baby.” She says in mock outrage.

“Sure…” I laugh.

“Whatever, I have tons of homework to do, so I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“K. Bye smalls.”

I go to hang up but her voice stops me. “Why do you call me smalls?”

“Because it’s funny. And you’re small. Like really small.”

“Okay big foot.”

I roll my eyes and hang up the phone.

Chapter 4

Norma

I laugh while setting my phone down on my bed. Rydstorm slithers over my thigh, sticking his tongue out. “You ready to get back in your house, buddy?” He lifts up his head up and I wrap him around my arm before crossing over to his vivarium and depositing him in.

I lay back down on my bed and look out the window. Not much of a view but that’s a trailer park for you. Sometimes I feel like white trash, since I live in small town Arkansas in a single wide trailer with my single mom. Not that I have to live without anything, it’s just a trailer for crying out loud. I’m not ashamed but it’s like you tell someone your dad is a famous author, then they found out you live in a trailer. It’s whatever.

I wonder what Chance would think if he knew where I lived. It’s hard to say. The boy I know now, isn’t anything like the boy who made my life a living hell. He actually made me feel beautiful, for a second anyway. Though this isn’t about him, it’s about me and my revenge. I can’t let his heated looks, softly spoken words, and adorable smile break me. I feel nothing for him.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that honey.

I hear my mom come out of her room and walk into the kitchen so I decide to go bug her. My favorite pastime. When you don’t have any friends it’s easy to be stuck to your awesome mothers butt. “Good morning.” I say to her when I get to the end of the hall.

Her brown hair is pulled up on top of her head in a very messy bun and there are bags under her eyes. I hate that she has to work graveyard but she refuses to go to days. The woman is stubborn. “Good afternoon, baby. Have a good day at school?”

I stop by the end of the couch and cross my feet. “Sure. I got Chance Duncan to wear one of his mom’s dresses, then he made out with me in the school parking lot. It was epic.”

Nothing fazes my mom. “That’s cool honey. Are y’all dating now?” she asks as she pours hot water into her mug for her tea. So English.

“I guess. He wants to take me out on Friday night. His mom is off, so I don’t have to watch Macy.” I flop down on the couch as she heads to her laptop on her computer desk.

“What are y’all going to be doing?” I hear her place the mug down and lift open the device. Her nails clink against the keys as she types in her password.

“Dinner. A movie. The same thing everyone my age does. Though I think we are going to be more of a show than the movie.” I place my hands over my stomach and interlock my fingers.

“Why is that?” she questions, while typing away at the keys. She might be addicted to Facebook but she is the master of multitasking. It’s the only reason she hasn’t had an intervention.

“Everyone stared at us all day long. I have never been more gawked at in my life. And I’m the girl who fell off the stage in the 2nd grade play.” I laugh out loud remembering that. We did some dumb musical our music teacher thought was cool. I can’t dance to save my life so of course I wasn’t watching what I was doing and fell right off the stage. I think I might still be living that one down till I die.

“Why would they gawk at you, baby?” like she doesn’t know. The woman is dumb sometimes.

“I don’t know. Because the preppy jock type made out with the gothic rocker chick freak in the parking lot.” I roll my eyes. I shouldn’t have to explain myself. This is common knowledge.

“Well everyone at your school are sheep. They were the same when I went there. I was the pretty preppy socialite cheerleader and your father was the grungy rocker stoner. We were a strange couple now that I think about it, but that was the 90s.” I can picture her shrugging her shoulders at that. “The only thing that matters is if you like him. Which I know that you do. You’ve been crushing on that boy since you were in diapers. Not that I blame you, he’s pretty hot.”

“Mom! Gross.” I feel my face cringe up in disgust. Cougar. “Yeah I like him. He makes me crazy though.”

“How so?” she asks still typing away on her computer.

“He makes me want to put on a tight shirt, short skirt, and sexy heels. He makes me want to do my hair and makeup. He even makes me want to bat my eyelashes and give him a coy smile. It’s insane.” And he does. I sat there staring at my hair last night and ripped out my extensions. I’m becoming more normal the longer I spend time with him.

“Wow that is crazy.” I hear her rise from her seat and then her face appears above mine. “Honey, you don’t have to change who you are for a man. I sure as hell didn’t. I might be single but I’m not unhappy being someone I’m not.” She winks and sits back down.

“I don’t really know who I am anyway. I just…am.” I say softly. And it’s true. I just exist. I don’t do anything. Literally. I pretty much sit at home, read, and go to school. And watch Macy on the weekends.

“You might not, but I do.” I sit up to look at her. She looks at the computer the whole time she tells me, “You’re the most independent person I know. You’ve hardly ever asked for my help with anything. You’ve always wanted to do everything on your own. You’re feisty. There may have been a time when you let people walk over you, but now you don’t take crap from anyone. I admire that from you. You’re so incredibly smart. I mean you have seen your grades. I’m not sure about your common sense sometimes, but that’s another matter. You’re bold. You don’t even think sometimes before you jump in head first. Sometimes it gets you in trouble, other times it works out for you. That also makes you brave. You were so scared when I first got you Rydstorm but instead of letting that overcome you, you stuck your hand in his cage and picked him up. Now you’re best friends. But you’re 17 years old. You’re not supposed to know who you are.” She turns to look at me then and winks.

That kind of speech brings you back down to earth. I don’t see any of that in me, but I hope I can be that person she sees.

“Thanks mom.”

*****

It’s like midnight when my phone starts ringing. This scares the shit out of me, so I jump up out of bed and answer it without seeing who it is.

“You were asleep?” comes Chances sexy voice over the line. I shiver and mental smack myself for that.

“Yeah.” I tell him while laying back down on my bed. “I wouldn’t have answered if I wasn’t. You scared the shit out of me. I thought something was wrong with my mom.”

He laughs and I let the sound wash over me. Even that damn laugh is sexy. “Sorry.”

Seeing this through is going to be difficult since the guy barely speaks. “What do you want?”

“A kiss.” Then there is a knock on my front door. Really? Stalk much?

“You’re turning into a stalker Chance. I’m going to answer the door with a shotgun.” I warn even though I don’t own a gun.

“You don’t have a gun. You wouldn’t hurt a fly.” A smile tugs at my lips, but I refuse to let him win.

“How would you know that?” I ask getting out of bed and heading into my bathroom.

“I don’t think you would shoot anyone.” He knocks again, like maybe I didn’t hear him.

My hair is a mess and I have mascara smudged under my eyes. “Hold on.” I say into the phone and set it down on the counter. I quickly pull my hair back into a low ponytail and wipe the smears away. I look down at myself and cringe. I will have to change.

I run back into my bedroom and pull out a pair of plaid sleep pants and pull them on over my black boy shorts. I find my hoodie on the floor and throw it over my plain, thin as hell cotton tank top.

I leave my phone in the bathroom and head to the front door. I look out the long rectangular window and see him wearing a small smile. My heart starts beating faster and I curse under my breath. Get yourself together Davis!

I slowly open the door and step out on to the black iron steps Marley made my mom in shop class last year. “How did you know where I lived?”

I’m standing on the top step and he is three down but we are face to face. His eyes are doing that heated look he seems to get around me a lot. I thought I covered up pretty well, so I don’t know what the hell he could be turned on about.

“Macy wouldn’t sleep. Drove her around and saw your car. Thought I’d get a goodnight kiss.” Okay that was sweet. So I don’t think about it when I lean forward and brush my lips against his. His hands come up to cup my face and I open my lips for his tongue. I love the way he always wants entry into my mouth. I love how he kisses me like he might die if he didn’t.

Wait.

No, no I didn’t like, let alone love any of that.

Damn, I’m in serious trouble.

He breaks away from me all too soon and I blink open my eyes kind of in a daze. “That’s it?” I find myself asking before I could stop.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” He steps down the stairs backward and gives me a small wave before walking towards his truck which is parked behind my car. He gets points for being a gentleman. Damn, he was supposed to be an asshole. Not this sweet guy who doesn’t try to take me to my room and ravish me. I’m starting to think the rumors are true. The rumors that say he is a virgin. Which I don’t know how any 18 year old male could be a virgin.

Though stranger things have happened.

I head back into my house in a fog. I take off the clothes that I put on, throwing them around my room and falling back on my bed. I lift up on my elbows and find Rydstorm watching me with his crazy red eyes. “What?”

Great now I’m talking to my snake. I have lost my mind, officially. I’m finding redeeming qualities in the boy who ruined my life. Which is scary as all get out because that means I could really fall for him. I don’t want that, I just want him to hurt. I have to remember that, always. Make him suffer like he made me suffer.

You’re the ugliest girl on the face of the planet.

Your pimples need their own zip code, they are so huge.

What are you looking at zitface? Want some of this? Too bad, I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole.

Here comes zitface. Look at all that pus leaking out of those things. She is so disgusting.

Don’t stand too close to her, you might catch that stuff!

Zitface you really need to clean your face. You’re so hideous. If you took care of that, then maybe you would have friends.

I’ll remember for the rest of my life, every single thing he said. I’ll remember that pain and the embarrassment. Mostly I’ll remember what it feels like to have revenge.

Chance

I pull up outside of Norma’s house for our date Friday night. I’m nervous as all get out. I have never taken a girl out that I really liked. And I mean really liked. Ever since we kissed I can’t get it out of my head. The feel of her under me, the taste of her lips, the sound of her moans. I really need to get a grip on myself.

Monday night I couldn’t get Macy to sleep so I loaded her up in my truck and drove her around for an hour until she fell asleep. I don’t know how I ended up right outside her house but when I saw the cobalt I pulled over. I could tell she was asleep since all the lights were off in the house. But I wanted that kiss. I wanted to see what she would look like just waking up.

I was happy to find out she was just as moody as any other time. Since summer is right around the corner I could tell the pj pants and hoodie were thrown on. She looked cute and rumpled and it did strange things to my insides. I wanted to go in and do more, but I want her to actually feel something for me, other than lust, before I take it that far. If it takes me a hundred years to get there, then I will. She’s worth it.

Mom has this picture of Norma and Macy sitting on the refrigerator and the day she put it up there, I knew I had this thing for Norma. She looked so incredibly happy. That smile was killer and I wanted her looking at me like that. I guess that’s how I got here today.

I knock on the front door and step back. I hear her unlocking the door and opening it. I suck in a breath when she comes into view. I think I just died from pure lust.

I don’t know what she did with the Norma Jean I’m used to seeing but this one…wow. Her long black hair is styled in loose curls and hang around her face in a seductive way. Her makeup is subtle and not the usual. A light blush on her cheeks, pale lip gloss and smoky eyes. She has on a pretty violet blouse that makes her eyes even more eerie and beautiful. The little black skirt is a surprise as are the black heels. Suddenly I’m picturing her with nothing but those on…and sitting in my lap.

I clear my throat before speaking. “You look so beautiful Norma.” I want to say more, but I don’t know how. My feelings and my words don’t go together. Or I’m just an idiot and don’t know how to express how I feel.

Her cheeks get a little pinker and I hold in my smile. “Thanks.” She smiles a little as I reach my hand for hers. I lace my fingers in hers and she tenses a bit. I squeeze my palm around her hand making sure she won’t get away.

I open the passenger side door for her and pretend not to look at her ass as she gets in. Very nice. I shut the door and walk around to the drivers side and climb in. “So where are we going?”

“Anywhere you want.” I state as I start the truck and back out of her driveway.

I catch her face and the look is pure mischief. “Can we eat at Sonic?” she bites her lip, like I would say no. I gave her full rein.

I nod in answer and head into town. Duke is a small place, like only 1,000 people. And we all know each other. Sonic happens to be the place a lot of the kids in our school hang out on Friday nights. Mostly before one of Creed’s parties. Almost every space is filled up but one next to Creed’s mustang. Great.

I park it and shut off the engine when Norma says something. “There are a lot of people here.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and I feel jealous of her finger, since it got to touch that wonderful softness.

“Wanna leave?” I question turning all the way toward her.

She swishes her lips around like she is thinking hard, but shakes her head no. I wouldn’t mind leaving, these people get on my nerves for the most part. I also give Creed one more minute before he is knocking on my window.

“Know what you want?” I ask turning back around to look at the menu. I always get a bacon cheeseburger, French fries, and a chocolate milkshake.

“A New York dog, chilli cheese fries with jalapeños, and an ocean water.” she says beside me before I hear her dig around in her purse. I hear tapping on her phone before she speaks. “Quit looking at me like that. I’m fine, no need to kill him with your eyes. I want to be here so get over it, okay?” I automatically look at her but since she is on the phone I look across the store to see Marley with his beat up s10 sitting directly in front of us. Just great.

She hangs up and rolls her eyes as she places the phone back in her purse. “Don’t worry about him. He thinks he’s my father or something.”

That gets me thinking so I blurt out “Where is your dad?” I cringe because I could have delivered that a lot nicer, or not at all.

“My dad lives off this manmade lake in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. He writes all day every day. Ten out of his fifteen books are on the New York Times bestseller list. I don’t talk to him except for my birthday and Christmas. I haven’t seen him in a couple of years.” She shrugs her shoulders before meeting my eyes.

“That sucks.” I say quietly. And it does suck. I wish my dad was off somewhere, no where near my life.

“Yours is pretty fucked up too.” she whispers. I don’t know if she knows how right she is.

“Yeah. I walked in on him with his new wife.” I don’t know why I paused, maybe because this is what has made me the person I am today. “While he was still married to my mom. He tried to pay me off to not say anything, but I have always been more loyal to mom than him.” I take a deep breath and go on. “He was kind of abusive to my sister and me. It wasn’t bad all the time though. Mostly verbal, though he hit me once for bringing mud in the house.” Then I smile. “He’s a different person around Macy. That little girl changed him for the better. He still rides my ass but I don’t ever have to worry about him mistreating her.”

She is staring at me funny like she forgot something she really wanted to remember before she speaks. “That’s good to know. I’m super close to Macy. If someone was hurting her I think I might kill them.”

“You and me both.” The truck gets silent before I can’t take it anymore. “Want me to order now?”

She nods and looks out the passenger window. I hit the red button on the menu and tell the girl our order. I have to admit what she is getting is strange. Seems like heartburn central.

Creed stops by like I figured he would and we talk for a minute before I tell him with my eyes to get lost. He chuckles and goes back to his own date. Norma and I talk some while eating. I found out she loves snakes and spiders equally. Her mom doesn’t like spiders at all so her grandma lets her keep her hairy black tarantula at her house. She named it Daisy.

I tell her I won’t be anywhere near that thing but she informs me if I really want her then I have to pass her Daisy test. This turns out to be something I didn’t know. “Her bite hurts but she can’t kill you. She is really sweet and likes to walk around in the palm of your hand. She hates Marley and bites him. So that is my test, if she bites you then I can’t see you anymore.” She winks and I hope she is kidding. I may be a dude but I am scared to death of spiders…and snakes.

I tell her about basketball and how I don’t have to feel anything while playing. I just concentrate on getting the ball from one side to the other and into the net. I don’t care about the points or being any good at it. It’s the same with any sport, where most guys with any talent want to be a big superstar, I just play for what it gives me. A little bit of peace.

There is a tiny movie theater in the middle of town that shows two movies at any given time. They are about 5 years behind, so there is never anything new here. Norma picks an old zombie flick I’m sure I have seen before. After the movie starts, I place my arm on the back of her chair and about half way through she lays her head on my shoulder. So feeling bold I curl my arm around her small body and I feel her shiver. Which makes me smile and feel ten feet tall.

The movie ends way too soon for me, but at least I get to kiss her goodnight. I feel sad when we reach her house, but I let it go. I tell myself I’ll get to see her again, I’ll get to hear her voice when she laughs, I’ll get to feel this skin under my hands, and I’ll get to make her smile some more.

After parking I get out and race to open her door for her. She laughs at me when I get there but I only grin. I pull her out of the truck and shut the door. Before she can move towards her house, I gently push her against the side. I feel the cold metal on the palm of my hands as I cage her in. I nuzzle my nose against her neck and she gasps. “Will you let me take you out again tomorrow?” I say very softly.

I place tiny kisses against her pomegranate scented skin. God I love that smell. She shivers when I get to her ear and she lets out a “Yes.” I reward her with a flick of my tongue against it and she moans.

I make my way over to her lips and capture them. Her hands are moving around my waist and under my shirt. Her fingers are like fire against my skin and I can’t help but to jerk at the touch. I force her lips open so I can tangle my tongue with hers. I move my hands off of the truck and down to her bottom lifting her up against me. I groan when I feel her heat against my groin and I think my eyes roll into the back of my head.

She wraps her legs around me and I move my hands up her body to her hair. I can’t go home tonight without sifting my fingers through the gorgeous locks. Her arms are around my neck now, her nails are digging into my skin.

Figuring that is enough for tonight, I set her down and step away. I don’t know what it is about her but I always end up losing my mind. “Goodnight smalls.” I whisper against her forehead.

“Goodnight big foot.”

I watch her go into her house as I start my truck and back out of the driveway.

Best date ever.

Chapter 5

2 months later

Norma

The past couple of months I have called myself Chance’s girlfriend. On the outside anyway. On the inside I’m his destroyer. He is like an open book the way his emotions play across his face and show in his eyes. He is almost right where I want him. I’m just waiting on him to tell me, then I’ll crush him. Just like a bug under my shoe.

Though it’s been hard to keep my emotions neutral. I find myself reading my diary from when I was 12, and seeing all the things he did to me makes me harden my heart. I won’t let him in. If I can make him feel even one iota of what he did to me, my job here is done.

And when I say it has been hard, it has been hard. The boy really doesn’t say much but his actions are more powerful than words. For instance at least once a week I find a single red rose on my car. No note or anything just the flower, but I know it’s him.

I haven’t had to call Marley to get me a pack of smokes in months. Chance shows up with a pack right when I’m about to run out. Without me even asking. He holds my hand everywhere we go, almost like he can’t stop from touching me even a little bit. It’s very endearing.

We fool around a lot but he knows I’m not ready for that. And even though he would rather be at his house on the weekends with me, he stays at Creeds. He still hangs out with Macy and I, but when it’s time to sleep he leaves.

I swear he is the only 18 year old gentleman I have ever met. He opens every door for me and kisses me on the cheek whenever he hasn’t seen me in a while. If things get to heavy when we are making out, he doesn’t push me, he calmly backs off. He doesn’t cuss around me either, which I find funny because I have the mouth of a sailor.

The gossip at school was pretty bad at first. From I was paying him to date me to he knocked me up after a one night stand. Which they should have known wasn’t true. Every girl he has dated could tell you they didn’t have sex. My personal favorite was that our parents were making us. Which I find so funny because I’m known for doing whatever the hell I want. This isn’t the olden days when people had arranged marriages. I swear teenagers are dumb.

Chance asked me to prom about three weeks ago, I wanted to say no, but for this to work I had to play the girlfriend roll right. I had to wear a sexy dress and bring him to his knees. I was just worried where in the hell I was going to get a dress since I didn’t have any money for one. Bring in my dad, who I’m sure my mom called, and he told me to get whatever I wanted. So I found this little black one. It is strapless and falls to about an inch above my knee. It has this sparkly chiffon on the skirt, which kind of poofs out. It fits like a glove and shows off all the curves I didn’t know I had.

I also got a pair of six inch white heels and a long strand of pearls that tie together right above my breasts and fall to my waist. Mom even talked me into a tiara. It’s also black and sparkly. I have to say I feel pretty hot.

Now that prom is tonight, I’m worried I won’t get him to say it before graduation tomorrow. We haven’t talked about where our relationship will go after that. I told him I wasn’t going to college and he believed me. Which isn’t true, I’ll be going to college. Just not anywhere near him.

He got into the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville. Which is hours away from where I’m going. I don’t like to talk about the future of our relationship to him, but that’s because we won’t have one. No need for him to know that. He just thinks I have commitment issues. Which is true to a point. Why would I be with anyone long term who I already know is verbally abusive? I’m not an idiot.

Besides long term scares the shit out of me. Marriage is a prison sentence for sure. I want to be free and live happy. Not be tied down to one man for the rest of my life and raise his kids. I don’t think I have ever been the marrying type. My independence is what drives me. I don’t need anybody.

“Norma! Chance is here!” my mother screams from the living room. This trailer is tiny and the walls are thin, there is no need for her to yell. Jesus.

I take one last look at my dress and shoes. My hair falls around my shoulders in loose curls that I know Chance loves. My makeup is subtle and sexy. My eyes are outlined in black and I put on extra mascara. My lip gloss is clear and my cheeks are lightly blushed. I sigh and head out of the bathroom.

When I make it into the living room, my breath leaves me. His suit is tailored to fit him and boy does it fit him. I can see the outline of his thighs through those black pants when he moves. His jacket is also black and fits perfectly around his shoulders. His shirt is also black and he has a white bow tie.

Good lord we match. I’m staring at him for so long my mom clears her throat. I lift my head up to her and she giggles. My cheeks heat as I look back at Chance. His eyes are heated making the green in his eyes pop out. The caramel swirls around and I clutch my hand on the wall so I don’t run over there and have my way with him.

He tied his hair back which I hate, but he wanted to look nice for pictures. His full lips are in a half smile. I can’t help but to bite my lip as heat flares between my legs. The sexual tension in the room is over whelming and I don’t even know if I can touch him without trying to bang his brains out.

“Norma put your gloves on and stand next to Chance. I want lots of pictures!” my mother exclaims and I cringe at the thought of her seeing us like this. I know Chance and he wouldn’t put a hand out of place, but I’m worried about me.

I sort of stumble to my couch to pick up my white gloves that come up to my elbows. This was my mom’s idea, not mine. I walk steady over to Chance and he wraps his big strong arms around my waist and kisses my cheek. His mouth ends up near my ear and he whispers “You look so fucking beautiful.” I can’t help but shudder. Chance just said fuck around me. Oh lord, it’s a heady feeling to have that kind of power over him. It’s not every day the boy loses his manners.

“Thank you,” I say as I kiss cheek and he smiles down at me. The camera starts clicking and I startle forgetting everything but Chance.

Mom makes us pose for what feels like an hour. I even had to get out Rydstorm because she wanted him to be a part of the fun. Sometimes I think she loves him more than me. It was about twenty minutes when I checked my phone after I was placed very nicely in Chance’s truck.

He climbs in and before I can even say anything, he puts his hand on my thigh and scoots me over to him. His lips find my neck as his hand stays on my thigh clenching and unclenching around the muscle. I sigh into his mouth, forever thankful that I got to hold Chance Duncan in the palm of my hand for even a little while.

Speaking of palming, I guess my hands have a mind of their own as one goes up to his shoulder and the other slides over his thigh and up to his groin. My breath catches as I find how excited he is. I admit I haven’t ever gone this far before. I could never work up the nerve to actually touch his most private area and I have to say I shouldn’t have waited so long.

He groans long and deep into my mouth as his hand moves from my thigh to under my dress. The trail of fire across my skin has me panting as he gets closer and closer to the place I want him most.

Uncomfortable I decide to climb up into his lap so he can reach the heat between my legs easier. When I move I guess he breaks out of the spell we are in when we make out. It’s like there is no one else in the world but Chance and his lips. His hands. His body.

I kind of shake my head to clear myself from the lust hazed fog, I shouldn’t let him get to me like this. Jesus. That was fucking hot. “Later, I promise.” he says as he kisses my neck.

I make a sound of disappointment which only makes him chuckle. He is always laughing at me, which is kind of annoying especially when I’m not trying to be funny. I told him that once and he said I was being so cute he couldn’t help himself.

Whatever. I’m not even a little bit cute.

He backs the truck out of the driveway and head towards the school where the dance is being held. The gym is old as hell and has no air conditioning so I’m hating this shit already. The parking lot is full of cars when we get there and I literally groan. I really hate crowded spaces. Add the no AC and we are all going to stink in like twenty minutes! Eww.

“We don’t have to stay long.” he says when he opens my door, seeing the look on my face.

“Okay big foot.” I kiss his cheek since he did something sweet for me. He smacks me on the butt as I start to walk away and I stop. I look back at him and he has a sheepish grin on his face. I can’t help to smile back. That was new.

“Smalls.” He grabs my hand as we head into the dance. As I predicted every senior and every junior are in the room. A lot of the girls are sweating off their makeup and look like crack whores. I find this totally funny.

Chance pulls me towards a table in the back as we pass people dancing like idiots in the dark room. The only lights are hanging from the wall, plus the strobe lights flicking on the dance floor. They went for a club theme. How original.

There is a punch bowl and snacks near the door and tables pushed back against the far wall for people to rest between dancing. I see Creed’s blonde hair peeking through a throng of people and I guess that is where Chance is heading. Creed at first was weird around me, but now he looks at me much the same way Chance does. And only when Chance won’t notice. So when we reach the table and he sees me, his jaw drops. Oh boy.

“You look beautiful, Norma.” Creed says.

Chance

It takes everything in me not to punch Creed. I honestly want to crunch his pretty face under my fist and watch it bleed. Does he not realize I see the way he looks at her? I thought we were better friends than that. I should have known the second I decided to have a girlfriend he would eye-fuck her all the time.

Not that I blame him for that. She looks so goddamn gorgeous and I can’t seem to keep my hands off her. That dress makes her legs look killer and miles long. Her eyes have this mysterious sexy look about them and I don’t want to look away. Her hair falls around her face and its looks so fucking soft all I want to do is run my fingers through it.

“Uh…thank you?” it sounds more like a question, and I feel myself calm down. She has no idea what’s going on in that head of his. If I didn’t love him like a brother, I wouldn’t put up with the fucked up individual that he is.

I nod at the guys sitting around the table and pull Norma closer to me. “Dance?” I ask next to her ear. She smiles and nods so I lead her onto the dance floor. Leaving all the stuff I don’t want to deal with behind.

“Creed has been acting weird.” she says to me as I wrap my arms around her waist. Hers go around my neck and we sway to the slow song playing. I can’t help myself as my hands wander down closer and closer to her ass.

“He is weird.” is all I give her. I don’t want her to know how he is. The boy gets something in his head and he won’t let it go until he gets it. Right now he has Norma in there and I don’t like where his thoughts are. I’m not worried though, she would never do that to me.

“Well there is that, I guess.” We don’t say anything else as she lays her head down on my shoulder. I take in her pomegranate smell and my dick twitches. Which is nothing new around this girl. She makes me so hard sometimes I don’t think I could ever make it go down.

The past two months have been a dream come true. I thought if I could make her smile and be happy then I could make amends for what I put her through. It’s so much more than that though. It’s like when I do see her smile, I feel as if the entire world is at my feet. My body fills with so much warmth, I kind of think I might die. Somehow I went from only trying to fix things, to feeling complete. And that is what she does. She completes me.

I snuggle in closer to her on the dance floor as I run memories of the last months through my head. I like how every time I take her somewhere new I learn so much about her. We went to a pet shop one day out of boredom and she was like a fat kid after donuts. She just had to play with the puppies and kittens. They had a spider and I totally freaked out but she reached right in its cage and picked it up. I found myself backing up and not stopping till I was really far away.

One night we hung out at her moms and the banter between the two was strange yet adorable. They traded barbs and then they were laughing and being playful, all in the same sentence. If Norma’s hair was brown she would look actually like her mother. Let’s just say if she looks like her mom when she gets older, then I’ll have no complaints. I also met the snake, which was an interesting introduction to say the least. Rydstorm proceeded to wrap himself around my neck but he didn’t try to kill me. It’s an understatement that I didn’t freak completely out. That’s also where she told me he was named after a demon king in a Kresley Cole book. Whoever that is. Apparently she reads romance novels like nobody’s business.

She also doesn’t just eat weird shit at Sonic. No she eats it anywhere she goes. I told her one night I would cook dinner for her, she agreed as long as she got to pick what we ate. Spaghetti, New England clam chowder, and pumpkin bread is what she picked. I’m still floored by that one. I made it all for her (with help from my mom of course). We went to the Mexican place one night and I thought for sure she couldn’t weird me out there but no I was wrong. The mixing her queso and salsa wasn’t weird it was the taco salad, extreme nachos, and a sopa with guacamole. I’m still not over that one.

My favorite experience though was just last week. I had no idea that Norma could sing. So imagine my surprise when I heard this beautiful voice come from Macy’s room. It was time for her nap and since she started teething it has been hard to get her to sleep. The words of Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus coming out in her angel like voice has me seeing things and wishing things I shouldn’t at 18 years old. Like her singing that to a little brown hair violet eyed girl. It’s also when I realized I was so in love with her I don’t think I would ever exist without her. And this is really deep for me, let alone someone my age. I kind of didn’t know what to do with it.

Being here at the prom with Norma, is unlike anything I could have imagined. I was honestly surprised that she agreed to go with me. But I’m not complaining.

After the song ends I nuzzle her ear and feel the resulting shiver and smile. “Want to get out of here?” I whisper into that ear as I suck on the lobe.

“Yeah.” She whispers back arching her neck into my lips.

“Good.” I say pulling her along through all the other dancers and towards the door.

Since both of our moms took off tonight to be there to see us off, we can’t go home. So I rented a hotel room. Which isn’t as sleazy as it sounds. Most of our grade rented out the same hotel. I’m sure it will turn into one big party, most likely busted up by the cops.

We make it to the truck in record time mostly because I’m practically running. Norma’s heels clinch against the pavement as she hurries to keep up with me. We talked about the hotel room of course. I told her it didn’t mean anything, hell we could go there and sleep till the morning and I would be fine. Just as long as she is with me. I feel the time we have is getting shorter by the minute. I’ll be headed to Fayetteville really soon and since she isn’t going to college, I don’t know where that leaves us.

It’s hard to believe that tomorrow I won’t be in high school anymore. I’ll be an adult or what society considers an adult. I won’t have to put up with high school drama and immature assholes. The only thing that really sucks is the fact I’ll be away from Norma, my mom and Macy. My three best ladies.

I open the truck door for Norma and help her get in. I speed walk to the drivers side door and hurriedly climb in. I notice she is all the way on the other side. I put my hand on her warm thigh and pull her right next to me. I don’t think I could make it to the hotel if she wasn’t close to me.

“You’re excited tonight.” She murmurs lacing her fingers with mine on her thigh.

“I get you all to myself. All night.” She chuckles and I soak in the sound. God I love that sound.

Her head lays down on my shoulder and she sighs. “Can you believe we won’t be in high school any more after tomorrow?”

“No. Doesn’t seem like the day would ever come. Can’t wait though.” We settle into a silence as the trucks bumps down the road.

The hotel is quiet when we arrive but I doubt it stays that way much longer. Our room is on the top floor and I feel myself get nervous. I want tonight to be the night. I want to tell her I’m in love with her. I’m no good with my emotions or my words, so this is starting to feel impossible.

I slip the plastic card into the door and wait for the light to turn green. When it does I open the door and pull Norma in. I never stopped holding her hand and I don’t think I ever will. It feels so right to walk around like that. Neither one of us leading the other, just walking hand in hand.

I see her take in the generic room which I’m sure looks like every other room in this place. If not every other hotel there ever was. She looks nervous when she sees the bed. She bites her lip and her breathing is labored. When her violet eyes meet mine, I see the lust swirl around in their depths and I know right then and there, I will always want her. I will always want her to look at me like that.

I didn't know how else to show her how I feel. So I kissed her like I could imprint myself on her soul. Like time had stopped and I could go on forever. Like I couldn't be without her. But mostly like I loved her. There is no one else on this earth for me, but Norma Jean.

She clutches onto my shoulders as I devour her mouth. Our tongues dance and our bodies mold together. It’s heaven and it’s hell. I’m so turned on but I don’t want to push her. Then she takes the decision away from me. I’m being backed up towards the bed.

I feel myself fall as she pushes me down and then she is straddling my hips and her lips are back on mine. She starts trying to take my jacket off and it feels different. Others times we go slower, there’s no rush. Right now it’s like she can’t get me undressed fast enough.

So I decide to go with it and sit up to take off my jacket. My bow tie and shirt are next. I pull the zipper down on the side of Norma’s dress. Before long we are naked and I’ve never felt anything so good in my life. I touch her any and everywhere that I can. After a while I run my fingers between her legs and find her ready for me. She lets out the sweetest moan, and I feel like I’m gonna blow.

I reach over the side of the bed and pull out the condom I put in my wallet just in case. It’s ripped and then it’s on. I’m hovering over her and her arms are pulling me down to kiss her lips. Then I’m entering her and it’s the most amazing thing I have ever felt. She cries out and I stop. “Its fine, big foot. Keep going.” So I do.

Afterwards we are lying on the bed face to face staring at each other. I hope what I see in her eyes is what I think it means. But I’m not jumping the gun on this. She has to say it first. I just know that she would freak out and run if I said it right now.

She finally sits up in the bed and the white sheet falls around her waist. I turn onto my back and throw my hands behind my head. I stare at the most beautiful creature and I wait with bated breath for what she is going to say.

Chapter 6

Norma

Losing your virginity fucking hurts. I don’t care what I’ve read in romance novels. Though it was beautiful. He even tried to stop but it was done and no need to be unfinished. While messy and painful I wouldn’t change it for the world. I also realized something about myself.

I’m in love with him.

I’m in love with the only person I ever hated.

It’s sick really. And I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that I fell in love with someone who used to verbally abuse me, or that he fell for the girl who showed him a lie. I’m not this girl he sees when he looks at me. I’m not nice, sexy, or emotionally stable.

What you see isn’t what I am, I swear it. I still can’t look myself in the mirror. I only see huge angry bumps that will never go away. They will always haunt who I am, make me do crazy things. Like setting out to ruin this boy. Who showed me a side of him that I didn’t know was in there. That boy who messed me up doesn’t exist anymore. He was so young at the time and it is amazing that he pulled himself out of his father’s shadow. He became a good person instead of going down that path.

I’ve only met Mr. Duncan once, and that was when Chance took me to dinner at his house about 4 weeks ago. I will never go back. His new wife is like 25, which is disgusting. The only words that came out of his mouth were hurtful and insulting. Chance can’t do this and can’t do that. When it’s so clear he doesn’t know his own son at all. I think the divorce was the best thing that ever happened to Chance.

So here I am sitting in this hotel bed with the white sheets around my waist and one arm crossed over my breasts. While Chance lounges around with his arms behind his head and his perfect body mostly on display. His face is satisfied and lazy. The joy radiating out of him is almost more than I can bare. How could I have decided to destroy him? That puts me right up there with his father. He doesn’t deserve what I wanted to do to him.

“I love you big foot.” I whisper. He deserves my love, not my revenge. The boy who deserves that doesn’t exist anymore. I’m happy I opened my eyes before I did anything stupid.

He sits up so fast I’m pretty sure he pulled something. The smile on his face is contagious and I find myself looking into his beautiful hazel eyes and returning that smile. “I love you too, smalls.” he whispers before crushing his lips against mine. It’s sweet and heartwarming. I never want to let it go.

*****

When I open my eyes early the next morning, I feel this overwhelming sense of peace. I’m happy for the first time I think since I was a little girl. Chance is spooned against my back and his arm is resting over my hip. His hand is curved around my other hip and I feel safe.

“Morning.” he whispers into my ear, kissing the shell.

“Morning.” I say back as I roll over to face him.

My heart stops as I take in his rumpled hair and sleepy eyes. Stubble appears on his face but it does nothing to hide the lazy grin he throws my way as he leans in to kiss my lips softly. Tingles shoot all over my body and I bite my lip when he pulls away. “We have to get going.” he says almost wistful.

“I know.” And I sigh because I want to stay with him here forever. I kiss his cheek before getting up out of the bed. The place between my legs is sore, in a good way though. I only hope I don’t walk around funny. That would be news worthy “Local high school graduate, who just lost virginity, limps as she walks across the stage to accept diploma.”

“You okay?” he asks as he watches me walk funny across the room.

“Yeah. Just sore. I’ll take a bath when I get home. It should help.” I grin at him and pick up my dress from beside the bed on the floor.

“Okay.” He rises then and I have this need to push him back on that bed and take full advantage of that body. His muscles ripple with his movements and the tingle is back. All that fine piece of man is mine. No one else’s. I can’t even believe it.

It also has the strange effect on me that no one else has seen him like this. Just me. Yeah I freaking love it. “Your phone.” he says breaking into my staring.

I guess I didn’t hear it going off staring at him like that. I take a peek at his face and yup he’s looking really cocky. “Shut up.” I say laughing and picking up my phone.

It’s my mom probably wondering where the hell I am. “What’s up?” I asks as I cradle the phone to my ear and pull the zipper on my dress.

“Did you have fun? I hope not too much fun. I don’t want to be a grandmother at 34.” She says it teasingly but if she only knew. Luckily Chance isn’t retarded and used a condom. Not that I would let him anywhere near my vagina without one.

“Yes I had fun. And no not too much fun. We are fixing to leave so I’ll see you in little bit.” I pick my shoes up and sit on the end of the bed to put them on.

“Okay hurry. Your dad is here and wants to take you out for breakfast.” My shoes make a thumping noise as they hit the ground. I didn’t even realize I dropped them.

“You asked him to come?” I can’t believe that she would do that. Now I have to play nice with the man who donated his sperm for my creation. Joy.

“No, he showed up about 30 minutes ago. Your Grammy told him. She knew we wouldn’t invite him.” Damn Grammy. That woman is always in other people’s business. She shouldn’t have invited him, he did knock up her youngest child at 16 and then barely paid attention to me or my mother.

“Well I shall have a nice word with Grammy.” I hang up the phone and fall back onto the bed.

Chance appears over me a few seconds later and smirks at me, “Your dad?” I used to hate the way he would talk in uncompleted sentences but it has grown on me. Makes him seem kind of like a caveman.

“Yeah, he’s here and wants to take me to breakfast. My Grammy told him about graduation.” I kiss his cheek and push him out of the way. I finish putting on my shoes and dig a ponytail holder out of my handbag. I try and tame the locks into a messy bun but I know it’s a lost cause.

“I’ll go.” he says as he takes my hand. “If you want.” I notice now that he has on his shirt and pants but the jacket and bowtie are in his other hand.

“No, you should spend it with your mom and Macy. It’s a big day for everyone.” He nods and looks a little disappointed.

We walk out of the hotel and to his truck. He as usual opens my door for me and I kiss his cheek. I can’t believe how sweet and gentlemanly he is sometimes.

The ride back to my house is quiet but I enjoy it. We are like that most of the time. Though I sit pressed up against him and his hand is on my thigh. When we arrive at my house there is a black Dodge Avenger sitting next to my Cobalt and behind my mom’s Corolla. Yay daddy dearest.

Chance and I kiss before I get out of the truck and head into my house. The second my mom sees me I think she might faint. “What?” I ask quietly looking around for my dad.

“You look different. That’s all. Something I should know?” She questions with an eyebrow raised.

“Not that I know of. Where’s dad?” she points towards her room and I think I might throw up.

“It’s not like that, Norma Jean! He is using my bathroom. Jesus.” She is quick to get out. I calm my stomach and shudder trying to get that image out of my head.

“Good. I’m going to go get a shower.” I walk back to my room, grab the clothes I have picked out for graduation and head into the bathroom.

When I’m all ready, I step into the living and take in my dad who I haven’t seen in years. His dark hair is cut short to his head and his green eyes are intense as he takes me in too. “Hello Norma.”

“Dad.” The silence that falls after that is weird because Mom and him keep giving each other looks. I don’t even want to go down that road. “Can we get going? I’m starving.”

“Sure.” he says as he walks towards the front door.

Mom and I follow and we all pile into his car. The man doesn’t go anywhere so I don’t know why he needs this kind of car. It’s flashy but subtle if that makes sense. I hate it honestly, I feel like we are part of the secret service as dark as the tinted windows are.

He drives to a small mom and pop place that serves all kinds of things, including 24 hour breakfast. When we are seated, I look over the menu and surprisingly dad and I order the same shit. Scrambled eggs, baked potato, and cheese burger. Well I guess that is where I get my quirky stomach.

“So are you excited to be going to OBU?” my dad asks. OBU or Ouachita Baptist University which is located about 2 hours from here and only 30 minutes from my dad’s house. The only reason my mom let me go there. I don’t see why seeing as he’s not the best father.

I believe in God and everything, but I’m not overly religious. Dad said he would pay for me to go to college if he got to pick where I went. He picked OBU. His alma mater. “Sure. It’s a school and I’ll have to do school work and shit. Sounds like so much fun. Plus I have to go to mandatory chapel every Tuesday. Fun.” I fist pump the air to go along with my sarcasm.

“No need to have such a negative attitude about it, Norma. You’ll like it, I promise. Or I wouldn’t have sent you there.” He shovels some food into his mouth after speaking and I find we are more alike than I thought. Well in table manners that is.

“Sure dad.” is all I reply.

When we finish eating, we head over to the high school where they are throwing the ceremony. The thing goes by fast considering. I hate sitting around all these people and waiting for them to call my name but it was nice to see Chance walk across the stage. He looks so happy and carefree. I’m glad I didn’t ruin it for him.

Afterwards I’m heading over to congratulate him when Creed Donovan steps into my path. “You think you’re the only one? I like you a lot Norma, so I have to tell you the truth. Chance wasn’t a virgin. He doesn’t love you either. He was just trying to make up for some karma. He has actually been sleeping with my girlfriend Tess. I just found this out myself.” His words make me hurt. I don’t want to believe him but Creed has known Chance way longer than I have.

It doesn’t help that Tess is at this moment kissing Chance on the cheek and he is looking at her like he looks at me.

Chance

Tess’s kiss on the cheek was a little strange…and forward. I haven’t really ever talked to her before, so when she came over to say congratulations I was a little stunned. Creed gets a little possessive with his girlfriends, so I don’t really get to spend any time with them.

“Um thanks? I have to get going.” I stammer out and turn away scanning the crowd for Norma. I think I see her black hair over where I see Creed but people move in my way and she isn’t there.

“Have you seen Norma?” I ask when I get to his side.

“Nope. Maybe she is with her parents?” he moves his head around like he is looking for her. I scan the crowd myself but I don’t see any of them.

I do spot my mom and Macy. “Mom and Macy are over there. Gonna go.” I wave bye to him and make my way over to my family.

“I’m so proud of you Chance. You have become an amazing man.” She one arm hugs me and kisses my cheek. I flush at her praise and take Macy out of her arms to do something with my hands.

“Thanks.” She tells me things like this all the time. I think it’s to make up for all the negative crap my dad has told me. Speaking of which here he comes with the new wife. They have been married for a while but I still call her new. I doubt she lasts much longer anyway.

“Good job son. Never thought I would see the day you’d graduate from high school. Now let’s see if we can get your dumb ass through college.” He stops in front of me and I’m so fucking glad I’m holding Macy. The man could use a punch to the face. “Come here Macy. Pop pop hasn’t seen you in days!” he exclaims to Macy. She giggles at him and reaches her arms out for the man.

Dad takes her into his arms and looks over at mom. “Stacy.” He nods hello. We should get going soon. They never last long around each other before insults get thrown around. Mary Beth looks nervous, which I don’t blame her at all.

“Mike.” Mom says icily. I hold back a laugh as she glares down Mary Beth. “I see you brought your wife. It wasn’t long ago she was doing the same thing, was it?” she asks innocently.

I roll my eyes and tune them out. I keep looking over every face I see trying to find my Norma Jean. There is no sign of her anywhere. It’s starting to make me anxious because she said she would meet me after the ceremony. I pull my phone out of my pocket to see if maybe she had to leave. I know her dad was here so maybe they wanted to do something together.

When I see nothing on the screen my stomach drops. Why would she just leave? “Mom. I’m going to get out of here.” I nod at her stepping away.

“Where are you going boy? I thought we could all go out to lunch together.” my dad says to my turned back.

“I’d rather die.” I reply under my breath.

I turn around and he takes a step towards me with anger in his eyes. “What did you say boy?”

“I have to find Norma.” I tell him. He narrows his eyes like he knows that isn’t what I said but lets it go. “Besides, I’m not hungry.”

He kisses Macy on the cheek before giving her to mom. He steps closer to me and takes something out of his pocket. “Well here’s your graduation present.” He slips the envelope in my hand and turns to usher Mary Beth away.

“Thank God. I thought I might have to eat with them.” She says them in a weird voice, which Macy finds funny and giggles. “You think grandma is funny do you? Well I think we need to get to the house and take a nap. Don’t you?” Macy stops giggling and gets tears in her eyes. “No none of that baby girl. Grandma will take one with you! We will see you later at the house Chance.” She kisses my cheek and squeezes my shoulder. “Have fun with Norma!” she calls over her shoulder.

I search the whole place for her and even send her a couple of texts that go unanswered. I finally decide to head to her house. When I get there I had no idea that my life would be ruined. That I would lose myself there. Only never to find it again.

Her mom answers the door after I knock and shakes her head when I ask if Norma is there. “I have something for you though.” She turns away from the door and comes back with a book. “She told me to give this to you. Said you would find the things you need to know.”

Before I can question her anymore, she shuts and locks the door. Totally freaked the hell out, I return to my truck and climb in. I look at the book, it’s a diary. Norma’s name is stenciled across the top in pretty script. It looks like it has seen better days.

Taking a deep breath I open to the first page.

August 12th 2004

Today was the first day of school. I was so excited this morning, but shortly after arriving I lost all excitement and become upset. You see I had the hugest crush on Chance Duncan, and he totally blew it today. I honestly never want to see him again. Ever. He called me names that really hurt my feelings. He made me feel really ugly. I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror when I got home today. I sat down on my bed and cried my eyes out. Mom came in and wanted to know what was wrong but I couldn’t tell her. She wouldn’t understand. Mom has always been pretty. Plus Chance’s mom is her best friend and she would think that I was lying. But I’m not. He said I was a “zitface”. He said I was too ugly to walk on this planet. No one talked to me today. All the friends I had last year ignored me when I tried to start a conversation. I want to die.

August 13th 2004

I was hoping that yesterday was a dream, that none of it really happened. I should have known better. He was waiting in front of the school like he was yesterday. But the words out of his mouth today were worse. He said that no one would want to talk to an ugly girl like me. He told me to stop staring at him because he wouldn’t touch me with a ten foot pole. He says I need to take better care of myself or I wouldn’t look like this. Which isn’t true. I bathe every day and use the soap my mom gave me to wash my face day and night. She even took me to the doctor who gave me special cream that is supposed to help. But it doesn’t. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to ever go to school again.

The entries go on for days with the same stuff. Everything bad I ever said to her. Every action I took to make her feel bad about herself. All because I felt bad about myself. It’s not an excuse though. I should be killed for the kind of pain I put her through. Then one entry has me holding back tears.

May 15th 2005

Today was the last day of school. I didn’t want to get up this morning. I never want to get up in the morning. I have thought about ending it all. Just so the pain will go away and I won’t hurt like this anymore. I feel so worthless and ugly. I’m a hideous monster who should be dead. Chance laughed at me a lot today. Made fun of my face and my clothes. Like he does every day, but today was a little different. Today I wanted to fight back. I wanted to punch him in the face or kick him in the shin. I didn’t though. I did look him right in the eye when he made fun of me. He seemed to be taken back by it, but I don’t care. Maybe if he sees the hurt in my eyes he’ll stop. Maybe.

I had no idea she wanted to kill herself. What kind of person does that make me? God I’m so horrible. I can’t close my eyes now without seeing her at 12 years old and looking me straight in the eye. It was the first time she ever had. The next year she showed up at school with black hair, the clothes, the glasses, and the makeup. The pimples were gone but the lasting affect wasn’t.

September 12th 2005

First day of school again. It was way better than last year. When I saw Chance Duncan in front of the doors he ignored me. Not one thing was said to me by anyone but a teacher all day. No jokes, no insults. It was freeing. I have become invisible. And I freaking love it.

I skip the rest of the entries until I come to the day where we kissed while I was sober. It makes my heart stop and I think I might faint

March 8th 2010

After the drunk kiss last night, I kissed him again today. I wanted to see if he would have the same affect sober. He did. I won’t lie and say it wasn’t hot, because it was fucking hot. I will say that I have him in the palm of my hand. He ran out of the house so fast it was comical. He is really affected by me. This is good, so good. I could make him fall in love with me. I could make him mine and crush him. Ruin his life the way he ruined mine. And I will do it, you just wait and see.

A folded piece of paper falls out of the back as I tip the diary to far forward. It has my name written in her hand writing. I’m almost too afraid to read what it says. But I know though, what it says. She is going to ruin my life with this little piece of paper. I honestly don’t know if I can take it after reading that last entry. I understand what I did was awful but it was 5 years ago. I was a child. I have changed.

Dear Chance,

I’m sorry to have to do this with a letter. The look on your face would have been priceless. I honestly wish I was there to see it. Alas my ride is leaving and I have to go. I’ll say what I have to say and let you be on your way. Last night was disgusting and I hope you never do that to another girl. It took everything in me not to puke while we had sex. Hell every time you ever kissed me. Touched me. You make my blood boil and not in the good way. I left you the diary so you could get the picture of why I did this. You can read everything you did to me. Though in the end, I’m the one who won, aren’t I? I made you fall in love with the ugliest girl alive. That is what you said once upon a time right? Well I don’t nor will I ever love you Chance. I hope this letter breaks your heart into a million pieces. I hope it shows you what kind of person you are. Goodbye.

Norma

With this letter she left me bare.

She left me broken.

She left me so in love.

All I wanted was her.

All she wanted was revenge.

Chapter 7

3 months later

Norma

I packed up all my stuff and Rydstorm as fast as I could that day and loaded it up in my car. I knew from Chance’s text messages he was going to come looking for me at the house sooner or later. I should have confronted him but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t bare to watch him lie to me. So I moved in with my dad for the summer.

I hate to admit I spent most of the first month crying and re-reading the messages he sent me. He called every day for the first few weeks, but with no response he stopped. No messages, no calls, nothing. I want to say that it doesn’t hurt, but it does. Bad.

My dad didn’t know what to do with me. I can’t say that I blame him. He spends his time up here alone and come on, he is a man. What does he know about distraught teenage girls? Not a damn thing. Which is fine, that’s the reason I moved up here. I wanted to be alone, I didn’t want to be around anyone at all. I think I’m worse off then I was before. And that is saying something.

Today is move in day at OBU. They have a policy that all unmarried freshman have to live on campus. Which means I have to live in a dorm, with another girl. Joy…not. At least this place is all about the proper way. No co-ed dorms. I won’t have to worry about living around the opposite sex. Something I could have only hoped for.

Dad offered to come with me, but I didn’t need him. When have I ever really needed him? He hasn’t been around for most of my life so what’s the point? Mom wanted to come see me settled but I told her no. She has to work tonight and she wouldn’t get any sleep.

To say I’m scared is an understatement. I get so nervous having to do new things. This is the biggest newest thing I have ever done. My whole body trembles when I pull up outside my dorm. The entire campus is made up of brick buildings. Some of them really old and some of them very new. There is a bridge that goes over a deep crevice that connects the two sides of campus. This place is freaking huge and intimidating. I hope someone has a map.

I walk into the building with one of my suit cases and a bag hanging off my arm. I have a key in my pocket that was sent to me in the mail. I finally find the room I’m in, on the third floor. I slip my bag off my arm and the key into the lock and push the door open.

My roommate is setting out books on a desk and turns to look at me. She has long blonde hair and sparkling green eyes. Very pretty cheerleader type. Well until she opens her mouth. “Who the hell named you Norma Jean? You look like a Lexi or an Elvira. Jesus was your mom smoking crack?” she places her hands on her hips and sends me a glare.

“My family has this thing with naming everyone after famous people. My mom is Elizabeth after Taylor, my aunt is Grace after Kelly and my cousin is Marley after Bob. I’m Norma Jean after Marilyn Monroe. You’re Regina right?” I set my bag down on the empty bed and take in the white wash walls that kind of hurt my eyes.

“Regina yeah. Well I’ll just called you Norma if that is okay. Sticking the Jean on kind of makes me think of a country girl with daisy dukes.” She turns back to what she was doing before I walked into the room.

“That’s what big foot said.” I whisper under my breath. She doesn’t hear me, though I didn’t want her too.

*****

Regina has this get up and go attitude and after unpacking her stuff she wants to go explore campus. Our dorm is called France’s Crawford and it only houses freshman girls. Apparently the building across from us holds a Chick-fa-la which sounds promising. Off to the right side there is a view of a park down a steep cliff. The back drop being the Ouachita River, which the school is named after. Off to the left is another dorm and after that you have to walk around to see anything.

There is a fountain in the middle of this courtyard which is on the other side of the building across from our dorm. The building turns out to be several building connected together making a U around the courtyard. The fountain has several flag poles with flags from all over the world.

We stumble upon a gold tiger statue with its mouth open in a growl. The school mascot is a tiger so I guess that’s why it’s sitting out here. It’s really old but pretty. We head towards the cafeteria which is the biggest one I have ever seen. Downstairs is a Starbucks and a conference center. Upstairs is the cafeteria for staff and students and the outer wall is all windows. I spot the bridge again which connects to more dorms on the other side.

We end up entering a building called McClellan Hall which is quite small compared to the others around this place. When walking into it the smell is pleasant. Really clean and lemony. There is this another statue of a dudes head. Underneath on a plaque it reads “Dr. McClellan” so I assume this building is named after him. You see the statue on the right but the left will take your breath away. There is a huge circle cut into the ceiling and it highlights the floor which is circles and circles of brick.

There is a small museum with things from Dr. McClellan’s life. All behind glass but the place is just big enough for a few people to fit inside. I try the doors but they are locked. “Can’t go in there. Only on special occasions.” comes a woman’s voice behind me. I turn to see a short tan woman with long black hair and hazel eyes. I think of Chance but I quickly push that out of my head. “Freshman I assume?”

“Yes, ma’am. I was just wandering around campus with my roommate but I’m thinking I lost her somewhere.” I smile nervously in case I’m not supposed to be in here.

“It happens. The campus is huge and there are tons to look at. I’m Deborah. I clean this building from floor to roof every day.” She reaches out her hand and I politely shake it.

“Norma.” I tell her. “This is really beautiful. I kind of want to spin around in the light.” I laugh softly at myself for admitting that.

“Oh no need to be embarrassed. My daughter used to do the same thing when I brought her to work with me. I wish she had gone here. She knew this whole campus like the back of her hand.” She shakes her head and smiles to herself.

“Where did she go?” I ask curious. My dad told me the employees children can go for free here, who wouldn’t jump on that?

“She said college wasn’t for her. She’s married now with a little girl. Stubborn girl that one.” She turns to walk away. “It was nice talking to you Norma. You remind me of my daughter a lot. If you take psychology, sociology or education I’ll be seeing a lot of you.” She waves before heading down a bright hallway.

“There you are!” Regina says as she walks out the other hallway. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Don’t wander off anymore, you’re going to get lost in this massive place.” She walks right up to me and loops her arm with mine and pulls me along.

“You’re the one who took off. Besides this building was calling to me, I had to see what it wanted.” I stumble a little as I try to keep up with Regina.

*****

It took me three and a half weeks before I ran into him. He walked into the bar Regina had dragged me to. He wasn’t my big foot, but he was still gorgeous. I didn’t know what to do with myself when he asked me to dance. I finally said yes after a while and with heavy pushing from Regina.

We danced for what seemed like forever. I got lost in his eyes but he still wasn’t my Chance but maybe he didn’t have to be. It was one night of dancing and then I could go back to the mourning of a love that wasn’t returned.

Well that’s what I thought anyway. He pursued me for months. Six to be exact. I kept turning him down. He played it off as nothing but I could see the hurt in his eyes every time I did. He wasn’t what my heart wanted and I didn’t know what to do.

I finally broke down and said yes to dinner and a movie. Though I should have skipped the movie, since it was too close to my first date with Chance. He goes to Henderson which is right across the street from OBU. Our schools are rivals but I don’t think it stopped him from going after me or should I say what he wants?

After the first couple of months of dating him, I finally figured out I didn’t think of Chance so much. He wasn’t what I woke up thinking about. He wasn’t what I saw when I went to sleep at night. I just hoped he was doing good up in Fayetteville. I know that’s not what I should be thinking. He hurt me and I should move on but as time goes on I find that I can’t move on. He will always be a part of me. Which is scary as hell.

Regina and I have become best friends, which is scary itself since I haven’t ever really had friends. She takes me shopping and I dropped all the black clothes and she even talked me into going back to my natural hair color. I no longer have black hair and it’s almost a relief. You wouldn’t recognize me walking down the street. Regina also helped me with my self-esteem. I can hold my head up high and say I’m beautiful, and actually feel it. But only when I’m not in front of a mirror.

Some of my classes have me in McClellan so I see Deborah all the time. She has become like a second mother to me. She even makes me lunch sometimes and we sit in one of the unused classrooms on the first floor and eat. She tells me about her daughter and I tell her about my mom. Sometimes I tell her about Chance. If only to get some of it off my chest.

I guess I realized I had a great love for Chance, something I never thought I would have for him. I don’t want to ever forget that feeling honestly. It was pure and it was real. Maybe one day I will have it again. Maybe.

Chance

To say that my summer sucked is an understatement. Norma was just gone. Her mother refused to tell me where she was, where she is. Apparently she had known she was going to college the whole time we were together. Another thing she lied about. It’s safe to say that she broke me. I doubt I will ever be the same.

I drank most of those three months away. They are a blur of alcohol and sex. Yes I said sex. I had lots of it, just because I could. They were all Norma though. Every last one of them was her looking up at me while I thrust into her. It was a sick way to get off, I even admit that, but what can I do? My body finally knew what sex felt like, it wanted it all the time.

Creed was one happy camper seeing as I was playing the field with him finally. I really only wanted to be numb and forget everything that happened the last months of my senior year. Forget the girl who ripped my heart out of my chest. I guess it was only fair since I destroyed her life once upon a time.

I’m a sick fucking bastard. I know and I’m starting to realize a lot of other people know it. My mom will hardly look me in the eyes anymore. This being only after she got a hold of Norma’s diary, and her letter. I honestly don’t know who she was madder at first. The shrew or me.

Though I had a few bright spots in the darkness. Macy of course. Though every time I really went to spend time with her, I heard Norma singing in my head. I also saw her holding the little girl and my heart broke all over again.

Then my sister showed back up in our lives. Apparently she was on my Facebook page and I had no idea. The woman has known me my whole life and probably hacked into my account and added herself. To say we were surprised doesn’t even begin to cover it. She definitely looked so much better than the last time I laid eyes on her.

She has the same color auburn hair I do. Her eyes are also hazel but they are harder and have seen more shit than I ever want too. She had been in rehab for the past six months. Turns out dad had paid for it and mom knew. They didn’t see the need to tell me. I couldn’t be mad at them because I had my older sister back. She used to be my best friend when we were younger, I truly missed her.

It took Macy only a week to start calling her mom. Cassie burst into happy tears and I have to admit I might have shed one or two. It took so much pressure off of my mom, Cassie coming back. It also means I don’t have to worry about anything up at Fayetteville. I’m excited to leave this place behind. Of course I’ll miss my family, but I won’t miss the memories. Though that doesn’t make a lick of sense. I carry every single one of those memories engraved on my brain. I think she will always be there. Always haunting me with her violet eyes and heart shaped lips. Things I won’t ever get to see again, won’t ever get to touch again.

“Yo little bro, let’s go!” Cassie yells from the front door.

I pick my last bag up off the floor and take one last look around my room. My eyes go straight to the bed where I spent that first night with Norma. My heart clenches and I turn towards the door fighting back the injustice of it all.

“Coming!” I yell back at her. I hear Macy giggling as I step off the last step and I smile. I’m gonna miss that laugh, those eyes, that hair, but mostly just her.

“Bout time, I thought you might have changed yo damn mind!” Cassie chuckles holding Macy on her hip. She looks good, actually being a mother. I know one day she will have to explain why she wasn’t around the first year of Macy’s life, but at least she got herself turned around before it was too late.

“Nope.” I kiss Macy’s cheek as I walk past them and out the door. Mom insisted on going with me, so of course Cassie and Macy had to tag along. Though I nearly drop my shit when I see my dad standing outside with my mom. “What?” I kind of mumble.

“He decided he needed to be a good dad today. What a fucking joke.” Cassie rolls her eyes before putting on a fake smile and striding towards him and mom.

I sigh and head towards my truck to throw in my bag. After that I head back over to my dad and almost cringe as he pulls out his hand to shake mine. “Proud of you son. Going to a good college, gonna make something of yourself.” He nods the whole time he says this like he wants to believe it but can’t. Whatever I don’t have time for this.

“Thanks.” I put my hand in his and pull it right back out. I always see him having sex with Mary Beth on my parent’s bed when I touch him. It literally makes me want to puke. It’s no wonder I waited to have sex, after seeing this ugly old man going at it, it’s enough to make anyone not horny forever.

“You go up there and do us proud boy.” He steps closer to me and I flinch hearing his grunts in my mind. “Don’t be chasing tail, either. You get a degree then you can work on finding a good wife.”

“Yeah dad.” I tell him hopping from one foot to the other, impatient. I want to get as far away from him as I can.

“Now that Norma is out of the picture, you don’t have anything keeping you back. Proud of you boy. Don’t need a girl like that around anyway. She will only bring you down.” My head whips to look at his face so fast I think I pulled a muscle in my neck.

I clench my fist until my knuckles are white. I unclench trying to release my anger. “Excuse me?” I ask very softly. “Do you have something to say about Norma?”

He looks a little nervous which I admit makes me feel good inside. So he is intimidated by my size? He knows I can take him down. He will find out that I won’t let him talk shit about anyone but me. “I just meant she wasn’t good enough for you. She left you behind didn’t she? You have no idea where she even is. Seems she got it out of her head she was good enough for you.”

I hate to admit that I lost it. It’s not often that I do lose it. All I can say is a red haze takes over my vision and my fists start swinging. I think I got him on his left cheek before Macy’s crying breaks through my haze. I turn towards her and see her hiding her face in Cassie’s chest. I step closer and Cassie takes a step back, a look of pure terror in her face. I can’t even think about that. “It’s okay baby girl.” I soothe. “It was a long time coming, I’m done now. Why don’t you come to me? Hmm?” she peeks up at me with tears shining in her eyes and I hate that she saw that. But I won’t take it back for anything. “As for you dad, keep your mouth shut about Norma. I don’t deserve Norma. She is far above me. Something I won’t ever reach. Unlike you who should have been put down a long time ago.” I huff and stalk towards my mom’s car.

They are all looking at me funny and I have to raise an eyebrow at them. Cassie is the only one who speaks up. “I think that is the most I have heard you say at one time since you were twelve.” She blinks like she doesn’t understand what she just said. I stop to think about it and realize that she is right. After I caught dad, and tormented Norma for a whole year, I didn’t want to speak at all. I think it took me months to even say more than one word answers. I didn’t want to be my dad. Who talks too much, hurts other people, and cheats on his wife. I wanted to be the total opposite, so that is what I became.

I just nod and place Macy into her car seat and strap her in. “You coming?” I question the women standing around, still looking lost.

My mom snaps out of it first and pushes Cassie towards the car. “Yes let’s get going honey.” She kisses me on my cheek and looks at me like she is seeing me for the first time. I really don’t know what that means. And I honestly don’t understand women.

*****

Sometimes I would dream of Norma. She would be standing there in front of me giving me her all knowing smile. Then she would walk away, her ass swaying as she gets further and further away from me. I would run and run to catch up with her, but I would never get any closer, no matter how fast I ran. Then all of a sudden the sunny day we are in, changes to a dark storming night and she is sitting there crying her eyes out in so much pain. It’s more than I can take and I try to reach her, but there is an invisible wall between us. I pound my fist on the wall until my hands are bleeding, but no matter what I do I can’t reach her. She gets up from her seated position in the rain and walks over to me and places her hands on the wall right over mine. She mouths “I’m sorry” over and over again. Then she begins to blow away in the wind piece by piece.

I always wake up screaming her name.

My dorm mate was scared shitless the first time this happened. After a while he got used to it, but after so many times he asked me what the hell I went through to have a dream like that. He said I mumble Norma and Smalls all night long sometimes. I tell him she is the only girl I would ever love and I don’t know where she is. That she never loved me and it was all a game to her.

As time went on the dreams became less frequent and before long I forgot what the hell they were even about. I even moved on. If you can believe it. I sure as hell don’t.

Her name was Valarie and she is the complete opposite of Norma. Tall, curvy, blonde, and brown eyes. She didn’t make me crazy and that’s something I loved about her. Nothing she did even comes close to how Norma was. I loved it. I made it nearly two years with her before she got tired of me not being able to love her back.

So I guess that is the way I will always be. Alone never able to love anyone but Norma. Which I’m sure sounds crazy to you, but have you ever had that all-consuming love? I have. And it was with her. She breathed life into me and she took it away all in the same breath. She made me feel whole, when before I was only half a person. Crazy isn’t it? To find that at 18?

But I did and I wouldn’t ever change those months with her for anything.

Chapter 8

3 and a half years later…

Norma

The chilly winter air hits my face as I climb out of my car. I pull my coat closer around my body trying to keep the iciness from my torso. At least I don’t have to deal with snow like the north. I hate this weather. I can’t wait for a warm breeze on a sunny day. Shorts and flip flops and flirty dresses. Regina would appreciate me adding the dresses in there, since they weren’t part of my style until I met her.

Since it’s night the air is colder which makes me even grumpier. For some reason I got talked into going to a Reddy’s party, which makes no sense. Well since we aren’t allowed to party on the OBU campus a lot of students head over to the Henderson campus.

The apartment building I’m in is all college students and since it’s Friday night no one seems to care. Most of the apartments are blaring music as I walk past their doors. There are several people outside smoking cigarettes and I say hello to several I know. When I get to the right place, I push open the door and look through all the people for Regina. The warm air hits my freezing legs through my skinny jeans and I let out a sigh of relief. “Oh look who’s here!” comes a male voice to my left.

I look up to meet David’s face. He’s cute I guess. Long brown hair and blue eyes. Built like a linebacker and has a really deep voice to match. “Hey!” I call out to him smiling.

“Reg didn’t think you were going to show, you know since…” he trails off his eyes going wide thinking he might cause me distress on saying my recent ex’s name.

“He’s not here is he?” I ask quietly. I’m not at all upset about the breakup, seeing as he is the biggest jerk I have ever met. Only took me two years to figure it out. Though I didn’t expect him to just let me go like he did. He is scary as hell when he’s upset and he is upset most of the time.

“Naw girl. He had to go home this weekend, something about his mom.” He shrugs his shoulders and throws an arm over mine. “Let’s go find your girl, cuz I know you don’t want to hang out with this ugly mug!” he laughs and I can’t help but chuckle.

“Thanks, but you’re not ugly. I don’t mind hanging out with you.” We spot Regina talking to some of our Reddy friends and David and I walk up to them.

“Yay! You’re here! I was beginning to think you would bail!” Regina screams a lot when she is drunk, and I can guess she is three sheets to the wind. I’m not all that surprised. It’s almost midnight and she has been here since eight.

“Yeah, got bored at the dorm. Figured I’d come relax a little bit.” We smile at each other and she passes me a shot. I take a sniff and throw back the whipped cream flavored vodka. That is the good stuff.

“Hey that guy you know is here! What’s his name?” Regina pulls her blonde locks behind her head and fans her neck.

“I know lots of guys. What’s he look like?” I laugh when she pulls a confused look over her face.

“The one who knows you from home. He is friends with…you know. Both of them.” She says the last part in a scream whisper in my ear and I wince at the noise.

“Dean? Oh my god! I’m going to go find him!” I take another shot one of the guys pours me before tossing it back. I wave to the group before heading off into the crowd looking for Dean’s brown head. Dean is a couple years younger than me, but he is related to Creed. Which should be obvious since both their moms are crazy. Like bat shit crazy.

I finally spot him talking to a redhead. I wonder if Paige knows. She has been chasing him around for years, and I thought this past summer he would settle down with her. When I get a better look at the redhead I realize it’s one of Paige’s best friends, Harley. “Norma!” three high pitched girl voices exclaim. I guess all three of them are here.

“Oh my god what are you guys doing here?” I hug Dean, than Harley and turn and wink at Paige and Lucy. I wasn’t ever good friends with any of them because of the two year age difference, oh and the fact that I didn’t have friends in Duke.

“Um…Dean invited us?” Harley says. It sounds like a question but my tipsy brain doesn’t take that in.

“Well isn’t that sweet! Did you bring that hot boyfriend of yours?” I ask looping my arm through hers. Alcohol makes me fun, or so Regina says.

“Yeah…he is around here somewhere” I scan my head around looking for Spencer’s raven hair but there are a lot of heads. I give up and turn back to the group.

“Well it was good to see you ladies and Dean. I’m gonna go get some more vodka and dance! Y’all have fun!” I leave with a wave and head back over to Regina who looks even more drunk than when I left. “I need more to drink. Dean brought the entire town of Duke with him. Geez.”

“He did! Did he bring that hot rock star one of them was dating?” she slurs her words. I don’t know how she can even remember considering how drunk she is.

“No. Three of the girls got really pissed at the fourth and they don’t talk anymore. Carter was always a little shit. She lived in the same trailer park I did, and she always acted like she was better than everyone else. But I was like ‘look here bitch, we live in the same dump and your shit stinks as much as mine does, so shut up.’”

“You did not!” we are giggling but I really did. Carter is one of the biggest bitches I have ever meet.

“Wanna dance?” I ask her after taking another shot. Well two more because the guys were begging.

“Duh!” she grabs my wrist and pulls me towards the makeshift dance floor in the living room. There are bodies twisting and twirling around each other and several bump and grinds going on. I’m not much of a dancer but the alcohol makes me not care how much I look like an idiot.

Nicky Minaj comes over the speakers and we start moving with the music. I raise my hands up into the air and swish my hips around really getting into it when a pair of male hands land on my hips. I stop and start panting when he whispers in my ear. “I would know this ass anywhere.” He kisses my neck and my entire body erupts in goose flesh.

I start trembling because I can’t believe that he is here, and that he is touching me. I want to turn around and look into his hazel eyes. Take in his long auburn hair and perfect body. I want to kiss his full lips and forget the past 3 years without him.

“I love the hair.” he says as he sweeps it over my shoulder and kisses my neck. I can’t help it as I groan. God I shouldn’t be here letting him touch me. Not after everything. And there is a lot you don’t know, stuff I want to take back. Stuff I would never want Chance to know.

I slowly turn around as he keeps his hands on my hips. I gasp when I first take him in. The eyes and face are the same, but his hair is short, like way short. He is still fine as hell though. “Chance.” I whisper breathlessly and then I do something I shouldn’t have ever done. Kiss him. He was surprised but he quickly gets over it as our lips move over each other’s aggressively.

My hands go into his hair and I want to tug on it but the locks are too short. Bummer. He forces his way into my mouth and he thrusts his tongue in. I groan and sweep mine against his. His hands go down to my thigh and he pulls it around his hip and then he groans. I can’t help it when I stand on my toes and grind my hips into his groin. I gasp at how hard he is and I want nothing more than to take off all my clothes and find out what I have been missing.

He must have read my mind when he breaks away from my lips and whispers into my ear, “Come home with me.” He doesn’t have to command twice. I nod my head and he takes my hand leading me out of the apartment. I have no idea where home is but I follow him anyway.

He stops at a door four or five down from the party and takes some keys out of his pocket. He unlocks it and pulls me inside. His lips are back on mine before I can even look around. His warm hand goes under my shirt and bra to mold itself around my breast. “Ahh!” I moan trying to get his shirt off. I need to touch his skin, I need to taste him. I need to crawl inside him.

“Fuck. Come on.” His hand leaves my breast and then he is pulling me into a bedroom and slamming the door shut. He is on me so fast I can barely breathe as he takes off my shirt and then my bra. I pull his shirt over his head and start trailing kisses down his neck, over his chest and on his stomach. I unbutton his pants and pull the zipper and shove my hand inside. I’m on my knees and I could fucking care less. Chance is the only man I would ever be on my knees for. He means that much to me.

“Smalls…” he groans as I pull his cock out and lick the pre-come off the head. I open my lips before he grabs my head and pushes his length into my waiting mouth. I swirl my tongue around as he thrusts his hips against my face all the while groaning and moaning. It’s a heady feeling to let him use me like this. I kind of love it. “Enough.” he finally says and pulls me up to my feet. He takes off my pants roughly and my eyes roll back into my head as he slips his hand into my panties and presses against my clit.

“Chance.” I call out as one of his fingers slips inside me. My hips are rocking against his hand and it’s almost more than I can take.

And then he is wild. The soft gentle Chance I had back in high school is no more. This Chance is carnal and sexual. A man that knows exactly what he wants, and that is my body. He rips my panties off of me and my eyes go wide. “Get on the bed.” he pants out pointing at a full sized mattress up against the wall in the small room. I nod and obey.

He looks through a drawer in the night stand and finally pulls out a condom. He rips it open with his teeth and slips it on. I’m lying on the bed on my back taking in the scene before me. It is truly erotic to see all that male flesh before me.

He finally crawls on the bed and before I can say anything, he flips me on my stomach and raises my hips. I let out a whimper when he thrusts his cock into my sex. “Jesus fuck.” he says as his hands squeeze my waist. Then he is pounding into me. I clutch the sheets on the mattress and hold on as he takes me for a ride. His thumb comes down to play with my clit and before long I’m coming and I think my eyes roll into the back of my head.

His thrusts get jerky and he shouts out as he finds his release. And that’s when it gets awkward.

Chance

What the hell did I just do? I have to be the biggest idiot that ever lived. When I saw Norma dancing at the party, I couldn’t help myself. She just looked so damn sexy shaking her hips around and getting lost in the music. That’s when I started thinking with my dick instead of my brain.

Yeah I admit I loved this girl with my whole heart, but she caused me years’ worth of regrets and heart ache. I don’t want that again. I need someone safe, someone who doesn’t make me crazy and impulsive. Though I had that and she couldn’t take it when I wouldn’t love her back.

“You need to leave.” I’m sitting on my knees behind her, with her butt still at my groin. Not the most tactful I admit but I seriously can’t do this again. I have too much going on at the moment to deal with past shit with Norma.

“Excuse me?” she turns her head to look up at me before rolling over and bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

“Leave Norma. I can’t deal with you right now. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” I sound like the biggest asshole but I honestly don’t care.

“You didn’t mean for this to happen?” she whispers looking down at her toes. “Okay. I’m sorry.” She gets up off the bed and I have to force myself to continue to look at the bed. No need to look at her perfect body and the way her hair falls down to her waist.

I want to say it’s my fault, not hers. The words never leave my lips and I’m fighting instinct to pull her back on to the bed with me. I want to do what we just did over and over again. I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go. But I don’t. I really don’t want that. Yeah keep telling yourself that buddy.

After I hear the bedroom door shut I lay back down on the bed on my back and stare up at the ceiling. I had no idea where she even was. I can’t believe she was under my nose like this. I can’t believe she has never run into Creed. Hell they are in the same town. I guess she goes to OBU since that’s where her dad went. I wonder if that fucker knew she was here. That would be something his shady ass would do.

Macy’s birthday was a couple of days ago and while I was in town I ran into Dean who invited me to stay the weekend up here. He shares an apartment with Creed but that asshole had to go bail his mom out of jail and won’t be back till Monday. Luckily I don’t have to see him.

To say that we have fallen out is an understatement. It wasn’t really just one thing but a whole mess of shit. Like the fact he stopped talking to me every day 2 years ago. One day he was calling to tell me about what was going on with him then I had to start calling him. He would give me clipped answers and find excuses to get off the phone with me. Now he doesn’t even answer, not that I call him.

The last time I did call him, was because he went home one weekend and beat the shit out of my sister. She refused to press charges and I have no idea what the hell she was even doing with him. She wouldn’t tell me and it’s safe to say that bugged the shit out of me.

He is cut from the same cloth as his mother. The only reason I even talk to Dean is because he started dating my cousin Paige, and my aunt Carol asked me to keep an eye on them. Not that she has to worry. Dean couldn’t be better to Paige. Carol just has an issue with Dean growing up poor and Paige…well not. Carol isn’t the best of people if you ask me. She is my dad’s sister so I can’t be all that surprised.

My phone starts ringing from my pants on the floor and I lean over the side of the bed to fish it out. It’s my buddy Declan up in Fayetteville. We have a lot in common. Both on the football team, and we both have crazy ass relationships. Plus his best friend tripped out when Dec started dating his little sister. Mine is just a douche bag. We got pretty close this past year and he let me move into his extra bedroom. Now he has a really full house with his little brother, his girlfriend, and two of his buddies living there.

“What’s up?” I say into the phone settling back down on the bed.

“Well I have to know who in the hell you hooked up with. It sounded pretty hot on the phone.” Well that’s not Dec that’s Caden, our other roommate.

“What are you talking about?” Jesus I bet I butt dialed. Though that doesn’t explain why Caden is calling me from Dec’s phone.

“My phone died listening to you get it on. So I borrowed Dec’s phone. Pretty entertaining stuff right there. I honestly didn’t think you had it in you.” I hear music in the background but it is really muffled. He must have ditched the party to call me.

“I didn’t have what?” how much did he hear? Oh shit I bet he heard the very end before Norma left.

“To be that cold, man. You kind of give me a run for my money. Who was it?” I don’t know why he is asking, he knows good and damn well who it was.

“You know.” Is all I reply. I can’t think about this right now. “I have to go.”

“No you are going to stay on this phone and talk to me about it, asshole. You scream that girls name out in the middle of the night, so don’t tell me you ain’t fucked in the head right now.” Caden should really go into psychology. The guy is so insightful sometimes it is scary.

“We aren’t talking about me, unless you want to spill about Grace.” Caden has this “thing” with is twin brothers girlfriend. The rest of us have been trying to figure it out for months, but neither one will spill. The only reason any of us know anything is because Teagan walked in on them making out in his room. Everyone but Grace pretty much hates Jaden so no one told, but it’s still a huge mystery.

“Fair enough. You know I’m here dude. That’s why you fit with Dec and I. You have that crazy past with some girl you never want to talk about. Though Dec is the only one who fixed his. God they make me sick.” He makes a gagging noise and I feel my face smile. It’s true, not only are they loud when they are having sex, they kiss all the time. He calls her “beautiful” and “baby” all day long. If she is in the room his hands are somewhere on her person.

Then when they fight, it’s World War 3 in our house. Though I usually call Switzerland. Things get thrown and words are tossed around like grenades. For such a little thing, Teagan is feisty and full of fire.

“I know. I don’t want to think or talk about it right now.” I scrub my face with my hand and close my eyes. “I’m gonna go before I start telling you things you don’t need to know.”

“Alright. Though I sure as hell heard things I didn’t need to hear. Later.” The phone goes silent as I sit in the dark. The age old question is what the fuck did I do?

*****

“Dude wake up!” someone is poking me in the face and I’m not very happy about it.

“Go the fuck away Dean.” I growl with my eyes still closed.

“No, you need to get up. Your mom is blowing up your phone. I don’t know how the fuck you can’t hear it, since its right next to your head.” And as if the thing could read minds, it starts ringing.

“Hello?” I growl into the receiver. This doesn’t bode well for me, since my mom doesn’t call twenty times in row.

“Are you still up in Arkadelphia?” she asks frantically.

“Yeah…what’s up? You sound upset.” I sit up and wave Dean out of the room, but of course he doesn’t listen.

“Okay good, good. I need you to come home. Something really bad has happened. Umm…” she chokes up and a chill runs down my spine. “Macy was kidnapped sometime last night. The cops are here and everything but I can’t calm your sister down and your dad is here making a scene. I just need you Chance.”

“I’ll be there in two hours mom. Just hold on till then. I’ll go as fast as I can.” My breathing is getting labored and I honestly think I might faint. Who the fuck would take Macy? This is the most fucked up shit I have ever heard.

“I know you haven’t talked to her in almost 4 years but I need you to get Norma Jean. She comes down every weekend and sees Macy so she might know something. I also know she would want to be here.” What the fuck. This could not be happening to me right now.

“Sure mom.” is all I say to her. She says she’ll text me the number and hangs up.

“What’s going on?” Dean asks me standing in the door way with his arm over Paige’s shoulders.

“Macy is missing.” Paige’s face goes pale and I see Dean squeeze her in closer. I keep thinking this can’t really be happening but I know it is. I have to get up and move but I realize I’m naked under this sheet and my female cousin is in the room.

“I have to call Norma and get her here so we can leave as soon as possible. And get out of here so I can pull on some clothes.” They nod their heads before leaving the room and shut the door.

I put the awkwardness of Norma out of my mind and think of who in the world could have taken Macy. Everyone loves that little girl, hell even my piece of shit dad acts like a saint around her. If anyone hurts one hair on her head I’ll fucking kill them. If I don’t kill the person anyway, for just taking her.

I can’t stop thinking about how scared she must be. Though I wonder if it is someone she knows. Seems she would put up a fight against someone she doesn’t, just like I told her. The girl is smart, so that has to be what it is. She just turned 4 and I just saw her, how can she be gone? God this is going to fuck with my head for the rest of my life. I have never been so fucking scared.

So I get up and go through the motions of getting decent to leave. I need to be on autopilot until I make it home. Ignore the fear and Norma or I just might lose it.

Chapter 9

Norma

When I woke up this morning I didn’t expect the bruises on my hips. It brings about things I don’t really want to remember. Though it has nothing to do with Chance, it stills scares me. I can’t and won’t go through that again. I just don’t have it in me.

“Where have you been Norma?” he asks me when I walk into his apartment. I flinch at the tone of his voice. I almost whimper when he rises off his bed and walks over to me. “And don’t lie. I’ll know you did.” His voice is menacing and not at all the man I thought he was.

“Out with Regina. She wanted to go dancing. I swear that’s where I was.” I cower away from him when he clenches his fists against his thighs. I’m praying for God to not let him hit me.

Those prayers go unanswered just like every time before.

His knuckles connect with my cheek and I fall to the floor with the force of the impact. He kicks me in my ribs shortly after and I bite my lip so I don’t cry out. Not that anyone would come to save me. No one cares what he does to me. Or they are more afraid of him then I am. “I told you not to lie to me bitch!” He screams down at me, kicking me again. “Where. The. Fuck. Were. You.”

“With…Regina…dancing. I swear…to God…call her.” I pant out. My side is burning from his kicks. I’m not lying. I really was out with Regina. Not that he would call her and ask. He’d just think she was lying as well.

“I don’t need to call that bitch. Slut would lie just like you. Who are you fucking? Tell me!” I’m shaking all over. I honestly don’t know what to do here. I’m telling the truth yet he refuses to believe me. I have never lied to him and I never would. I would probably be dead if I did.

“I’m…telling the…truth…I swear.” Tears are leaking out of both my eyes and I shut them hoping to stop the flow. He doesn’t like tears. He will hit me harder.

“She’s telling the truth. I saw her at bar with Regina. It was just the two of them dancing. No guys were around them. She didn’t even talk to anyone but Regina. Every guy in this town knows she is yours.” David is his right hand man. He has never agreed with the beating of women and tries to stop him all the time. But he doesn’t ever step up to stop him while he is doing it.

He gets right down next to my face and whispers in my ear, “You’re fucking lucky David was there to see you. I’ll find out one of these days who you’re fucking, Norma. Then you’re both dead. No one touches what is mine.” He licks my ear then, and I shudder.

I didn’t know how to get out of the situation. He didn’t start hitting me till about 6 months into our relationship. Then he was all kinds of scary. I found out he was dealing drugs out of his apartment and everyone knew in this town but me. Even Regina. Though she didn’t know until after I was serious with him.

I just happen to walk in his door and catch a drug deal. That was the first time he hit me. Said I had no business showing up at his place without calling, even though I had been doing it for months. After that day nothing was the same.

A couple of weeks ago I happened upon his car out in the dorm parking lot. I freaked out thinking he was watching me, but no he was inside the car fucking a girl from my dorm. Most woman would feel anger and hurt, all I felt was relief. I’m not one of those who wants to stay with the man who beats her. Maybe I’m different because I never loved him. My heart was always Chances.

I confronted him and asked if he was done with me. He said hell yeah and that I was a bad fuck. I almost jumped to the heavens, I was so fucking happy to be out from under him. Let him be with his new girl and beat her. She has seen my bruises and busted lip. The limps and stiff walking because I didn’t want to jar my ribs. If that is what she wants, then go ahead girl. It will be you in the ditch, not me.

I’m standing in front of the mirror looking for more bruises when a ringtone I didn’t think I would ever hear again fills the room. I slowly walk over to the phone and look down at Chances name flashing across the screen. I let it ring and ring. There’s no reason for me to answer. I won’t ever go through it again, and I fucking mean that.

Chance leaves a voicemail and I pull the phone up to my ear to listen. “Norma, I realize I’m the last person you want to hear from, but we need to put that away for now. Macy is missing. Mom says she was kidnapped, but I’m not jumping to that. I’m hoping she just got outside somehow and they will find her before I get home. Call me back. Mom wants you there.” Then the message goes off.

I’m calling him back before I even realize what I’m doing.

*****

I’m in a fog. Nothing makes sense right now. I’m lost inside of it. I can’t help but to feel this has something to do with me. Why do you ask? Because I’m hiding things. Stuff I shouldn’t hide from those that love Macy. From those that love me as well. I have to talk to Cassie. She has to know who took Macy. I won’t believe anything else.

Not wanting to be anywhere near Chance, I climbed in the car with Harley and Spencer. Lucy and Mason are in the backseat with me. Mason keeps giving me knowing looks, and he would know. I have to wonder why he was even here, but apparently he’s with little ole Lucy, which is the strangest relationship I have ever seen. Not even going to go there.

They all talk softly around me, but I don’t listen. I stare out the window thinking of every place I need to look for Macy. I have to find her before something awful happens. He would hurt her to get to me. He found out about last night with Chance. I have no idea how he found that out, but that’s the only thing I can think of. He wouldn’t do this because of anything else.

“Norma, what’s the name of your roommate?” Harley turns around in her seat and meets my eyes.

“Regina. Why?” I take a deep breath hoping she doesn’t tell me Regina was going after Spencer. That is totally something she would do. Unless you’re her friend she doesn’t care if the guy has a girlfriend.

“She…um…told me something last night. I kind of wanted to talk to you about it.” Harley had a rough summer and I can only imagine what Regina told her.

“Do you really think this a great place to talk about this?” I say the blood draining from my face.

“Look, I know it might be hard to talk about, but I have to say something. Everyone will be worried about Macy when we get to Duke. I just want to get this out of the way. You can trust all of us in this car.” She smiles encouraging me to say something but I won’t. I can’t.

I throw my thumb in Mason’s direction and say, “He will tell Marley and then the world will end. So no thank you.” Mason is really close with my cousin. And I mean really close, like they are in the same gang. Though I wouldn’t really call it a gang because they do more good than bad. They are like the neighborhood watch gone Scarface. Except no cocaine. Well not that I know of.

“Harley already told me what Regina said. All I want to fucking know is if it’s true. That mother fucker is dead if it is. Marley is like my brother, so that makes you family. No one fucks with my family.” A chill swipes over my body as I take in what he said. I know he isn’t joking. Mason, who I don’t know all that well but I could still tell you he doesn’t lie. And he doesn’t back out on his word.

That leaves me with nothing to say. I have to find Macy before I do anything else.

“It wasn’t true. She likes to make up shit when she’s drunk. Thinks it’s funny.” I choke out hoping he believes me.

“The fact you even know what we are taking about says otherwise Norma. If you want me to back off, fine. But if he lays another hand on you, he’s dead. Got me?” Mason has turned red with his anger. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but he has this freaky way of making you feel better.

“Got you.” I whisper and turn back around to the window. I won’t think about it. I won’t. I won’t be that girl anymore.

The rest of the drive is pretty quiet. Mason can scare the crap out of anyone, but the way he is with Lucy, makes you wonder if it’s all a show. The way he is always touching her. The way I have only ever seen him smile at her. I wish I had that. Someone to love me like that.

Pulling up outside Stacy’s house, I start getting nervous. I was already scared but I have to confront Cassie, and I hope she tells me something I want to hear. Because this will be over soon if she does.

Chance drove like a bat out of hell so he beat us. The hood of the car is cool meaning it’s been parked for a while. I haven’t even had time to feel awkward about stepping into his house. I’m just looking for Cassie.

I finally spot her sitting in the living room with her head in her hands. “Cassie.” I say softly. When she looks up at me, I see it. She fucking knows who has her, and she hasn’t told anyone. It’s quiet in here, since everyone else is in the kitchen.

“Norma. I’m glad you came.” She wipes some tears off her face and I walk into the living room further and sit next to her.

“You have to tell them Cassie. They will find her so much faster if you do.” I say it barely above a whisper.

“It’s too fucking hard. What if he does something to her? He said he wouldn’t hurt her as long as I didn’t tell. He just wants you. I’ve been waiting for you to get here. Please go get my baby back.” She is sobbing now and I feel answering tears fall down from my eyes.

This is all my fucking fault. I knew in my heart I should have turned down Chance last night. I just needed to feel his touch, his kiss, his body. I never stopped wanting him. I never stopped loving him. Why can’t I just be happy for once in my life? Why do things always end badly for me? I shouldn’t be afraid my ex-boyfriend is going to kidnap someone who I love to get back at me for sleeping with someone else.

I just wish I could have seen how crazy he is before I started seeing him.

Chance

Walking through the sea of people, I feel as if everyone is keeping some big secret from me. Everyone seems to be at my house, and I mean everyone. Even my dad and step mom are sitting at the kitchen table next to my mom. And surprisingly my dad isn’t blaming this on my mom. I don’t know how the hell that happened but it did, and I’m so grateful. Mom doesn’t need that right now.

“Hey, we are going to get out of here. Let me know when the search party is heading out and we’ll be there.” Dean claps me on the shoulder before throwing his arm around Paige’s waist and walking towards the door. I can only nod.

When I spot Norma walking out of the living room, it takes all the energy I have left not to walk over there and apologize. That was seriously a dick move last night, but I can’t do it. She’ll have an in and I so don’t want that. I can’t be crazy like that ever again. No matter how much I want it.

When she spots me all the color drains off of her face. She takes a deep breath and her chestnut colored hair falls over her face. I want to shift my fingers through it, brush it along my lips…no I don’t. What the hell am I doing?

“Chance…I have to talk to you about something.” she says so low I barely hear her.

Now I feel the color drain from my face. She wants to talk about that here? Yeah I don’t think so. “I’m not talking about it ever. There’s nothing to say. I don’t care.” I lie right through my teeth. When tears start shining in her eyes, I know what I just did. And it’s not a good feeling.

“Chance Duncan, I know you did not just say that. What the hell is wrong with you? And who told you?” Cassie pops into the hall way looking like she’s going to find a sharp weapon and stab me.

“Huh? What are you talking about?” I say to Cassie. Then I look at Norma and feel the anger boil up. “You told her? What the fuck Norma?” I somehow made it down the hallway and ended up right in front of her. I don’t remember even moving.

“If you’re talking about last night, I didn’t tell her you just did.” Her cheeks are flushed and her breathing is erratic. I have a feeling I might get punched. “We aren’t talking about that, we are talking about something else, which I’m guessing you have no idea about. Yet again you can only think of yourself.” She pushes past me and heads towards the kitchen.

I grab her wrist and pull her around and right into my chest. Her violet eyes are full of anger and pain, and I’m not sure all of it is directed at me. “What is going on? What do I need to know? You two better start explaining.”

“I’m not telling you anything. Your fucking niece is missing and when I go to tell you something about that, you think I’m talking about fucking you last night.” She steps even closer and stands on her tippy toes and narrow those startling eyes at me. “Last night didn’t mean anything to me. It was honestly the last thing on my mind, until you brought it up. Macy is missing and that’s all you can think about? You’re seriously a piece of work Chance. Get your head out of the gutter and worry about someone other than yourself.”

“You didn’t seem to think it was nothing when I kicked you out of the room last night. In fact you were pretty upset about it. So don’t go giving me that ‘I don’t give a shit attitude’.” I take a step back and look between Norma and Cassie. “Now what is going on?”

They share a look and I have a feeling I’m not going to like what I hear. “We should go sit down.” Cassie says, flipping her thumb over her shoulder pointing at the living room.

I nod and follow them into the room. Sitting down I cross my arms over my chest and brace myself. I feel it deep in my bones this is going to kill me.

“When I left Duke, I lived with my dad in his cabin outside of Arkadelphia. After the summer I started attending OBU. I ran into this guy I already knew, but I was seriously surprised to see him. I had no idea he was going to Henderson. He asked me out almost every day for six months before I said yes.” Norma pauses and looks down at her hands. When a tear lands on her peach skin, I nearly lose it. What happened to her? “It was really good for the first six months. I was almost happy with him. And I tried really hard to be happy with him. I played happy so well, that he started to slip up. Show me things I think he didn’t want me to see.”

When she stops again I try to keep my mouth shut but it’s really hard. It’s like that dream I have of her. When she is sitting there crying and I can’t get through that invisible wall. She is so close yet unreachable. “What happened Norma? And what does this have to do with Macy?”

Cassie glares over at me, “Shut up Chance. This is hard for her. Give it time.” When she grabs Norma’s hand and squeezes I shut my eyes. I know now what she is going to say. And I’m going to want to murder someone. “Go on Norma.” Cassie tells her softly.

“Okay so one day I showed up without calling first. I mean I’d been to his apartment before and I had been with the guy for half a year, I thought it was cool. Well it wasn’t.” She takes a deep breath and looks up at Cassie squeezing her hand. “He was in the middle of a drug deal. Apparently he had been selling them out of the apartment for months. And I’m not talking pot or something small like that. No I’m talking hardcore drugs, like ice and crack. I thought oh my God I’m done. I honestly thought it would be that easy. It never is.” The tears flowing out of her eyes now are way too much. I feel my knuckles turning white. And I think I stopped breathing a long time ago. “I told him I couldn’t be with him, if he was going to do that. I don’t agree with selling drugs or doing drugs. That’s the first time he hit me. Just smacked me across the face. In front of a lot of people. That’s something else he let me believe. That I had all the control. When actually I had none.

“What’s worse is I had no one to help me. My roommate is a chick and I refused to let her call the police. I was fucking scared. These guys had guns and they were scary. I didn’t want one of them to come after me for snitching. You’ve met my dad, what the hell was he going to do? So I stuck it out. He started getting really abusive. He would accuse me of cheating and lying to him, but really it was just an excuse to hit and kick me. He had his right hand man, David following me around everywhere I went, so he knew I wasn’t lying or cheating. I didn’t want to end up dead.

“I honestly think he got off on hurting me. He would get this look in his eyes that chilled me to the bone. They were bright and excited. Then he started forcing me to have sex with him. I would give in because I didn’t want to get hurt. He would throw these parties and make me have sex in front of people. I felt degraded and nasty. I got called a slut and a whore all the time by people who saw. I didn’t know what else to do. It got harder and harder to cover up the bruises. My professor and other staff were starting to ask me why I was limping or walking funny. I lied through my teeth but it’s not like they ever really tried to stop him. He’s a monster.

“Then about a month ago I found him fucking a girl in his car outside my dorm. I was so relieved you can’t even imagine how much so. I knocked on the window and he got out of the car and told me he was done with me. I played it off like I was upset and angry but really I was so happy to be out from under him. That girl though was stupid. She knew what he was, how he was. I feel terrible I didn’t say anything to stop her, but I had to think about myself first at this point. I had started to wonder what my mom would do if they found me dead somewhere, just dropped off like a piece of trash. Because that is what would have happened.”

I’m silent but inside I feel like murder. I am going to kill this mother fucker. No one hurts Norma Jean. No one. I made that mistake once and I will never do it again. I haven’t seen her in over 3 years and I never imagine something like this would have come out of her mouth. Marley must not have any idea or this fucker would already be dead. She shouldn’t have gone off so far away from him. That guy loves her more then anyone.

I can’t even imagine the fear she must have lived with being with this guy. It goes to show you human nature though. As long as it’s not happening to them, no one will step up. She weighs 115 pounds soaking wet. Maybe. This guy is scum, who beats on a tiny little thing like her. It’s honestly surprising she is still with us. Hell I could pick her up over my head and throw her against the wall.

My eyes are closed and my hands are shaking, hell my whole body is shaking. I still don’t know what this has to do with Macy, but I’m sure they will get to that. All I need is this dudes name and a couple of phone calls and he’ll learn his lesson on hitting a woman. And picking on someone who has no way to defend herself. God I’m an idiot. If I loved her as much as I say I did, then I would have found her. She would have been with me, and this would never have happened to her. Then I start to do something I haven’t done in years. Cry.

“I’m sorry Norma Jean. God I’m so fucking sorry. If I hadn’t let you run off this would never have happened. You shouldn’t have to have gone through that. This shit is more fucked up then I’m used to. God, I’m a fucking idiot.” I’m sobbing now and it’s embarrassing but I don’t really care. I don’t really even know why I feel as if this is my fault. But I know in my heart it is.

Norma comes to sit in front of me on her knees. Her eyes pop into my line of sight as she lowers her head. “It’s not your fault Chance. It’s mine really. For ever listening to the guy, for trusting him blindingly. It’s my mistake not yours. I promise you that.” Her hands lift up my face and brush the tears off my cheeks. My heart pounds in my chest. Why can’t I stop loving her?

“Who. Is. It.” I want to know…I have to know.

“Creed.”

Chapter 10

Norma

Chance’s face says it all. He wasn’t expecting me to say that. And he doesn’t believe that Creed would do that to someone. Well how well do you really know someone? You don’t hear the thoughts in their head. You don’t know the way they think. The person sitting next to you in a restaurant could be a serial killer thinking about his latest victim. Even though he looks like a regular good looking guy. This fact only shows you can never really know someone. Just because they are nice to your face doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking horrible things about you.

And that’s exactly how Creed is.

He isn’t the person you see when you look at him. The guy dresses like a college guy in a fraternity with his polo’s and jeans. His blond hair is always styled just right, never messy or out of place. Those brown eyes though, they hide dark secrets people would never believe he could hide.

“You,” he clears his throat. “You dated my best friend after me?” he sounds really hurt by this, but what does he want me to say? I thought he cheated on me, so I thought I could trust Creed. He was the one who told me. I saw what Creed wanted me to see. And Chance and I paid the price. Never Creed. I don’t think he has ever been punished for his crimes.

“Yes. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I even turned him down for six months. I thought I was over you, and he said y’all didn’t even talk anymore. So I thought I had cleaned you out of my life. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. No one is a bigger idiot than me.” Tears spill out of my eyes as I think about the life I could have lead had Creed not messed with it. He took something special and good and made it ugly. Took the only person who could ever truly love me, away from me. I hate him more for that than I do for how he treated me in our relationship.

“I believe you. I still don’t see what this has to do with Macy.” He puts his hands over mine which were on his knees and gently pushes them off. I hate to admit that hurts, but I hurt him. And for no reason.

“Someone told Creed about last night.” It’s my only answer. If he can’t figure it out in his head than he’s not the guy I think he is.

“Jesus. We had sex in his bed.” He scrubs his face with his palm and I get up off the floor. He doesn’t want my comfort. “So he kidnaps Macy? What kind of sense does that make?”

I sit down next to Cassie and put my arm around her shoulder. This will hurt to finally admit to her family. “He hurt several people that wronged him in the process. Think about it. You and Norma love that little girl. He hurts her, he destroys y’all.” Tears start to fall from her eyes and I flinch. If I had known what I know now, then we wouldn’t be sitting here. But that’s life, you don’t get to see the road you take when you make a decision. Yeah it sucks, but I can’t do anything to fix it. I can only make it right.

“We need to call Mason and Marley. They will fix this. And him.” He gets up suddenly and starts to head towards the door.

“Wait.” I say halting him before he can leave. “Tell him Cassie.” She looks at me with big scared eyes, but if I could open up to him, then so can she. This is Chance. He wouldn’t hold any of this against us.

“Tell me what?” Chance asks turning towards us with both eyebrows raised.

“Umm…okay so I have known all along who is Macy’s father.” Cassie looks down at her hands and fiddles with her jeans.

After a minute you can see it cross his face. The pain. The betrayal. We have all had a lot to do with that look. Seems like now everyone around him is hiding something. Which isn’t a lie. I feel awful this is how he had to find all this out. Just because Creed took Macy as some vindictive punishment for the rest of us. “No. Cassie you didn’t.”

She starts to cry then. And the gut wrenching sobs tear me apart. She has been hiding this for years. Longer than I have been hiding my shit. This is something she hoped no one would ever figure out. I took that away from her and not because I slept with Chance.

“I was going through a lot then Chance. You know this, you were going through the same shit. Except you vowed to never have sex and I vowed to have lots and lots of it. Some of it was unprotected. At the time I slept with Creed, I was slowing down. I hadn’t slept with anyone in weeks and I have only slept with two guys since then. I knew what this would do to you. I knew what it would do to everyone. I wasn’t ever going to come clean but Norma figured it out. He didn’t just take Macy to hurt y’all he did it to hurt me as well.” She uses her hands to wipe the tears while I look down at the floor. Chance is still standing but he looks like he won’t ever be the same. The haunted look in his eyes is almost more than I can take.

“It was months ago. I came down for a visit on a weekend. I had been staying in Cassie’s room and stumbled upon some old notebooks. Cassie wrote about it in one. I couldn’t tell anyone though. If you had read it, you wouldn’t either. The words to this day still haunt me.” I take a deep breath and stand up. I walk right up to him and take his hand in mine. I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I know he’ll need the comfort soon. “Creed raped her, Chance. She couldn’t tell anyone. She didn’t want to destroy anyone’s life. And she would have. You were at a bad place then, and telling you, your best friend raped your sister would have been horrible. She also didn’t think anyone would believe her, which is true. She was sleeping around and he was known for being a fun easy going good guy. After the first time he made me have sex in front of other people, I called Cassie. I knew she could relate, because we had both been unwilling victims of his.”

He squeezes my hand before letting it go and sitting down next to Cassie. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you Cass. If I had known, that fucker wouldn’t be breathing right now. Do you hear me? And he won’t be breathing much longer. You two won’t ever have to worry about him again.” He kisses her on the top of her head and then looks over at me. I always seem to get lost in those eyes. The greens and browns pull you in and don’t want to let you go. “Call Marley. You tell him everything Norma. And I mean everything. Don’t leave a thing out.”

I’m dismissed.

I walk out of the living room and into the kitchen. Everyone looks so sad, and the guilt eats at me. Makes me want to throw up or scream at the top of my lungs. If anything happens to Macy, it won’t be anyone else but me who kills Creed. That bastard has fucked with me for the last time. He already took it too far with how he treated me, but this right here is taking it straight to the devil.

I grab my phone from my purse and head out before anyone can start talking to me. Chance’s parents are sitting at the table, Stacy is crying and Rick is patting her back. Mary Beth looks bored, which isn’t surprising. She doesn’t even like Macy.

I pass the living room on my way out and see Chance holding Cassie as she cries. God that is painful.

Marley answers after the first ring. “You better fucking explain to me why I had to hear from Mason what you have been going through. I can’t believe this shit Norma. You know I would kill for you. I’ve been protecting you since I could walk.” Yet another person I have hurt with my silence. Though he doesn’t seem to understand that I was protecting everyone else from the ugliness of what I went through. This will crush my mom. Though she might understand now why I didn’t come home over the holidays.

“Because of that right there. You don’t always have to save me. I can save myself just as well as you can. And what the hell were you going to do? Come to Arkadelphia and kill him? Where would that get you? Nowhere Marley. I took the easiest road I could find. And look I’m still alive. It wasn’t your mess to clean up, it was mine.” I take a breath to calm myself down before going on. “Look he has gone too far now. He can’t just take Macy and think it’s okay. It was one thing to hurt me, but Macy is innocent in all this.”

“We are going to sit down and have a long serious talk when this is over. But before that I already have the guys all over town looking for him. Mason only called in about twenty minutes ago, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find him.” I think maybe this might go fine until he opens his mouth again. “When he comes out of hiding, he’s dead. Do you hear me Norma Jean? There is nothing you or anyone else can do about it. He touched you in ways that make me fucking irate. I won’t let this go. Just because y’all were up at your fancy school, doesn’t mean you aren’t a part of this gang. You’re family and every single one of us takes care of our family.” He hangs up before I can respond.

Fucking great. Marley is going to go to jail because of me.

“You need to quit blaming yourself Norma. What he did to you isn’t your fault. It’s no one’s. I didn’t even know there was a side of Creed like that. He was always my cool best friend.” Chance must have followed me. I close my eyes tight and wish him away. I don’t want his pity. I brought this on myself. When he puts his arms around my waist and places his chin on my shoulder I stiffen up. “I won’t ever let him touch you again. In fact he won’t ever be anywhere near you again. I was hurt when you left, but I understand why you did it. Hell it was clever and the perfect revenge. But I’m done being that guy you think you can push over and away.” He turns me around in his arms and those eyes meet mine. “Creed might think he owns you but he doesn’t own you like I do.” He brushes his nose along my cheek. “Your body. Your heart. Your soul.” He whispers in my ear. “Those are mine.” He gently nips the lobe startling a gasp from my throat. “Don’t ever forget it.”

I back away from him and stare as hard as I can. Does he think I’m still that cold hearted bitch? I’m not. People grow and they change. I wouldn’t hurt Chance like that ever again.

Chance

“Don’t look at me like that. I know you and me have a lot to work out, but no matter how bad I want to, I can’t go back to that guy I was without you.” I lean in to kiss her cheek but she is having none of that.

“No matter how bad you want to? What, be without me? Thanks, Chance. Let’s go have sex and be a happy couple.” When her palm connects with my cheek my eyes go wide and my mouth drops open. “I don’t need you. I don’t need Creed, Marley, or fucking anybody. If you have to force yourself to be with me to protect me, then fuck you.” Then the finger comes out and pokes me in the chest. Hard. “All a girl really wants is for one guy to prove to her that they are not all the same.”

“Where did you come up with that?” I’m rubbing my chest because let’s face it that hurt. The woman can be strong when she wants to be.

“Marilyn Monroe. Smartest damn woman who ever lived.” She turns from me, flipping all that hair over her shoulder. Jesus that was sexy. “Stay away from me Chance. I don’t want you as much as you seem to think I do. And definitely don’t need you.” She heads into the house and I’m left wondering what the hell just happened. What did I say?

My phone ringing startles me and I see Declan’s name flashing across the screen. “Hey.” I walk over to the front steps and sit down.

“Just got your message. Teag and I were…umm…yeah so what’s up? Have they found her?” I scrub my hand down my face still trying to process the thing with Norma earlier.

“No, though we figured out who took her. Remember me telling you about Norma’s cousin? He and his boys are out looking for the guy. Should find out any minute.”

“That’s good. You made it sound like they take this kind of thing serious.” He starts speaking softly and I guess he is filling Teagan in on what’s happened.

“Well he is even more serious now. The guy who took her is Creed. I kind of wish I didn’t come down this weekend. Seems I’m the root of all this.”

“What? Your best friend from high school? Why the hell does he have her?”

“The short version is I slept with Norma last night, which I’m sure Caden filled you in on. Well not only was it in his bed, but he dated Norma for the past two years. The fucking bastard was beating her and other fucked up shit. Marley just found this out, but you best believe when they find him, he won’t be alive long.”

“I’m coming. We all are. That is the most messed up thing I have heard in months. Besides I have to meet Norma. I can’t believe you found her.”

“We found each other at a party last night. I was going to let her go again, but when she told me all this about Creed, I couldn’t help myself. I’m still pissed about everything, but I can’t let her go now. She’ll just get into a bigger disaster.” I stand up as Harley’s car pulls into the driveway. “Y’all don’t have to come down here. We have this covered.”

“Yeah we are. We aren’t going to let you go to jail for killing Creed. Or anyone else for that matter. But if you do, then I’ll be there for legal council.” And then he chuckles. We say our goodbyes and hang up.

“What’s up Harley?” I call as she gets out of the vehicle.

“I came to talk to Norma Jean. I don’t know, I feel like we should talk. I didn’t have anyone else to talk to about this kind of thing when…you know.” Almost a year later and she still can’t just say it. None of us saw that coming. Dylan and Creed it seems have a lot in common.

“Yeah you might want to speak to Cassie too.” My phone beeps I have a text so I open the door for her and shut it after she walks in.

Marley: Found Him. Game on. Dean’s house.

Well wouldn’t you know it. Blood helps blood whether blood deserves it or not.

*****

My door is open faster than lightening when I pull up outside Dean’s mom’s house. I see Mason’s car and Marley’s truck in the driveway and I run as fast as I can to the front door. Dean opens it before I get there holding Macy. I drop to my knees seeing she is alright. I take a deep breath knowing I don’t have to worry about her being hurt.

She jumped out of Dean’s arms when she saw me and took off running right to me. I feel her tiny arms hug around my neck and my arms go around her back. “I’m so happy you are okay baby girl.” I whisper into her hair.

I look up at the house and see Paige sitting there with tears in her eyes. I mouth thank you knowing she was the one who got the boys over here. “I was so scared Uncle Chance. Creed told me he would hurt you and mommy and Norma if I didn’t go with him. I didn’t know what else to do. He kept me in a dark room until Paige found me. She said you were coming. I’m so happy you are here.” Her little body shakes as she sobs on my shoulder.

“I didn’t know Chance. I swear to god I didn’t know. She was in his basement. I went over there to check in and you could hear her screaming down there. I beat the shit out of him. I can’t believe he would do something like this. I don’t even know why.” Even Dean is crying and I think we all feel that way about Creed. No one saw it coming because he played his part so well. He only showed us what he wanted us to see. I wonder if our entire friendship was fake. The best friend that I knew wouldn’t have kidnapped my niece.

“Macy I want you to go to Paige. She is going to take you home to your mommy and Mimi.” Her little head nods as Paige takes her tiny hand and gently guides her to the car. “I don’t know how you couldn’t have known, Dean. He’s been with Norma for two fucking years.” The look on his face says it all. Everything I needed to know about Dean. He’s not like the rest of his family. “I was wondering if you knew or not.”

“I had no clue. I knew he had a girlfriend but how the hell did I miss this?” then it looks like it clicks in his head. “He has guys over to the apartment that I don’t care for. I’m almost never there. Paige’s roommate is almost never in the dorms and I sleep there most of the time.”

“It was more than that though. He beat her, Dean. He raped my sister. He forced Norma Jean to have sex with him in public places. And I’m pretty sure he destroyed my relationship with her to begin with.”

He dropped to his knees at my words and I honestly feel for the guy. “He’s just like his dad. Our fathers were a lot alike, but Uncle Greg was worse than mine. I’m not really that surprised, though I didn’t see it coming.”

I just nod my head. Both of their dads are scum and deserve the place they went to. Enough said. “What’s going on inside?”

“Marley came in yelling and it scared Macy even more, so I brought her up front so she wouldn’t have to hear any of it. I don’t know, I just hope he’s not dead. He can go to jail for a really long time for taking Macy. He could get life.” I stare him down. Creed may be Dean’s family but Creed seriously fucked with mine and he’s not going to jail. He’s going 6 feet under.

“I figured you wouldn’t want what is about to happen. You know who he pissed off don’t you? Marley would never let him live with this. He’s going to die, and I’m sorry to have to say that to you. You need to learn to live with it.” The look on his face is sad and I hesitate with what I want to happen. Dean doesn’t have much and Creed is a part of that. Though he’s not much.

I’m about to say something else when honking starts coming from down the street. Then a little pink car pulls into the driveway. Mrs. Davis, Norma’s grandmother. “Dean, Chance.” We nod as she walks over to us. “My grandson in that house?” we both nod again. And she walks her little body right into the house.

Mrs. Davis is no one to fuck with. She’s known around town for getting into everyone’s business. The thing about it is, she knows everyone’s business. Everyone’s secrets and dirty laundry and we all learned a long time ago not to doubt she wouldn’t tell. Plus she runs a shooting range and always has a shot gun in her car. I even think she knows martial arts. She’s not that old, yet.

Her graying head sways back towards us and we look up when she begins to speak. “Y’all coming? You’re going to miss all the fun.” And she winks. She is the same height as Norma and I believe her hair was that chestnut color like her daughters and grandchildren before she started graying. Her violet eyes are crazy looking though. Like she can’t think with all those secrets in her head. I wouldn’t doubt it.

“Yes ma’am.” we say at the same time and chase after her.

We find everyone in the kitchen. Mason stands in the background of course watching over everything, taking in every single detail. Creed is tied to a chair and half his face is bruised. Marley stands over him with hate and murder in his eyes. “Marley Davis, you step away from that boy right now.” Mrs. Davis bellows out.

“Grams? What the fuck are you doing here?” Marley questions with total surprise in his voice. I’m not though. The woman knows everything. I’m surprised no one called her to ask who had Macy.

She smacks Marley on the back of the head with her palm. Hard. “Watch your mouth boy. Don’t make me spank your ass in front of all these people.” She glares and Marley backs off of Creed, walking over to stand with Mason.

“Now, Creed Donovan here is what we are going to do.” She pulls up a chair right in front of him and takes a seat. “These boys are going to untie you and you are going to walk out of here. I’m a woman of many means but I still believe in second chances.” She looks over at me and winks. Umm okay. “You will stay away from my grandson and my granddaughter. In fact you will stay away from anyone they care about. If I hear about you in this town or if I hear you messing with someone, I’ll hunt you down boy. And when I kill you no one will know where to find your body. I don’t play around. You’re young and I think you can change. And if you don’t, well I’ll be after you so fast.” She turns to look at Mason and raises her eyebrows. “Well untie him Mr. Hebert.” Which Mason does.

“What the fuck Grams!” Marley exclaims. My thought exactly.

“Watch your fucking mouth Marley. I will not tell you again. Like I said, he gets another chance. Don’t argue with me.”

Chapter 11

Norma

When Paige walked through that door with Macy, I think most of the house breathed a sigh of relief. Now we are left with what to tell everyone. Do we admit who her father is or do we lie? It’s a hard decision to make. Cassie doesn’t want anyone to know, and I really don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want anyone to know that kind of thing.

“Macy! Where have you been? You scared mommy and Mimi to death!” Stacy exclaims the moment she gets her hands on the little girl.

Tears fall out of Macy’s big blue eyes and all I can do is feel guilt. This is all my fault that she is scared. I hope they take care of Creed for causing her so much distress. “This scary man came and took me. He put me in this basement and I cried forever, Mimi. Then Paige found me and let me out. Please don’t make me go with that man again!”

“No one will make you go anywhere with him again, I promise sweetie.” Stacy says as she rubs her back. Then she looks up at Paige. “Who. Was. It.” The steel in her voice has most of us giving her surprised faces.

Paige looks over at me and I shake my head yes. We shouldn’t lie. This is Macy’s life we are talking about. She needs us to protect her and we can’t do that if no one knows the truth. “Creed Donovan.”

Chance’s parents gasp and exchanged shocked faces. “Why in the world would he take her?” I look over at Cassie and the tears are pouring out of her eyes as she gets a hold of Macy.

“I’m going to go take Macy upstairs, Mom. Norma will fill you in. I’m sorry.” She sobs, taking Macy and running up the stairs.

Then all eyes are on me. “Umm…He’s the father.” And don’t I sound like Maury from day time television.

“You have got to be joking right now. There is no way Cassie would do that to her brother.” Stacy states looking through the emotions in my eyes. This part Cassie will have to tell her. I’m not announcing to the entire room how he is the father.

“I’ll let her explain it to you. Not my story.” An officer comes over and takes my statement and then asks Paige where to find Creed. She tells him at Dean’s house but I know by the time they get there, he will be gone. There isn’t anything anyone can do to save him. He made his bed and now he has to die in it.

*****

I’m not all that surprised when my Grammy walks into the Duncan household. That woman is in everyone’s business. I honestly think she could become a billionaire with all that knowledge in her head. Selling secrets to husbands and wives about cheating spouses, or using it as blackmail. Though I know she will die with all that shit. I, to this day don’t know how the hell she does it. I’d go crazy with all that information. “It’s nice to see you Grammy.” I tell her as I hug her neck.

“You too Norma Jean. You should go see your momma now that all the excitement has calmed down.” She pats my back before breaking away.

She pushes some of my hair behind my shoulder and starts meddling. “After that you should go have a talk with that boy. I always thought you were a dumb ass for running off.” Then she kisses my cheek and walks off to bother someone else. I love her but I wish she would mind her own business.

I shake my head and walk towards the front door. As Chance walks in I find my entire body freezing. Standing there with his hands in his jeans pockets. Looking vulnerable, which I haven’t seen in years. I thought it was his best look. It makes him look real what with those beautiful hazel eyes and the rest of his perfect face. I’m still trying to get used to the really short hair. “Smalls.” he whispers out. The nickname flows over me and the goose bumps erupt over my skin. I can remember him calling me that while he was hovering above me about to come.

Okay let’s not go there.

“Chance.” I refuse to play that game with him. He just got his niece back and we can talk later.

“Can we go somewhere and talk?” he steps closer to me and I take one back.

“I have to go see my mom.” I try to push around him but he lightly grabs my elbow.

“Then I’ll come over later. Okay?” I’m looking straight ahead but I can feel his eyes looking down at me. So all I do is nod.

I leave the house and realize I don’t have a way to leave. Shit. “Need a ride?” I about jump out of my skin because I didn’t realize anyone was around. Harley Maxton stands about three feet in front of me swinging her keys around her finger.

“Yeah. You don’t mind?” I ask eyeing her up and down. The tall red head with her curves and trademark smirk turns around and heads toward her car. I follow and hope she doesn’t start talking about what she went through. It’s bad enough I had to hear about Cassie. I, like everyone else in this town couldn’t believe what happened to her, or the truth about her family. It makes that Creed is Macy’s father look like nothing compared to her.

In a way we have a little bit in common. While I wasn’t truly raped, not like she was, it was her boyfriend’s best friend who did it. Not that Chance is my boyfriend. Then it turned out the towns head gangster was her brother and her dad wasn’t her dad. To say she is kind of infamous in this town is an understatement.

She is quiet on the drive to my house but I know she’ll start talking soon. Harley was never one to keep quiet about anything. She is feisty and strong, something I will never be. “I know you are going to start talking about crap I really don’t want to talk about, so I’m saying right now, I don’t want to talk.” I turn my head to look out the window and hope that wasn’t insensitive.

“That’s fine Norma. I didn’t want to talk about it either. And I know it’s hard, but you went through so much more than I did. I only had one thing happen, you had something every day to live with. I can’t imagine that kind of pain. Mine is enough but I honestly hurt for you. I know people say they wouldn’t let a man hit them, but I wouldn’t know what to do in the situation. I love Spencer to death and if he ever hit me, I wouldn’t stop loving him. Not that he would, I’m more likely to hit him.” She giggles and I can’t help but to smile. That is so true. “I’m just saying, we love who we love. Just because he is a bad person doesn’t mean you don’t love him. There was something that made you fall in love with him in the first place.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t love Creed. I had love for him, but I was never in love with him. I mean how could I be if my heart belongs to someone else?” I slap my hand over my mouth and look over to see her smiling big. “What?”

“I just wanted to hear you say it. That your heart belongs to Chance. People in this town look up to you. You made one of the biggest names in this place fall to his knees when you left. I’d like to see you pick him back up again.” She looks over at me and winks.

I’d like to see him get picked up again myself. Only if he stops this stupid shit about being with me to protect me. I don’t need him to protect me, I just need him to love me. I think I always needed him to love me. And long after Harley drops me off and I’ve talked to my mom, I lay in bed wondering if maybe he always needed me to love him too.

*****

“Norma.” Chance whispers my name pulling me close and kissing me on the forehead.

I shake the sleep from my head and blink my eyes at him. I guess mom let him in. Crazy woman. “What are you doing here?” I ask voice still rough with sleep.

“I came to talk.” He pulls me against his chest and lays his forehead against mine. My stomach is full of butterflies and my breathing has become labored. “Norma Jean…” he whispers again staring down at my lips. Okay when did he get sexy like that? I’m used to the hot demanding kisses we shared as teenagers, not this intense wanting he is evoking in my body.

I clear my throat and back away. “So talk.” I crawl all the way out of his arms and sit up on the bed. I make sure the covers are over my legs, since I’m only wearing a shirt and boy shorts.

He clears his throat as well and sits up against the head board. “Why did you leave me?” he asks very softly bringing out pain I don’t want to feel right now. I don’t want to feel anything. All this shit is starting to become too much. It’s taking over my entire life. All I wanted was to be free. Seems I can’t out run my past no matter how hard I fucking try.

“That day at graduation Creed walked up to me and said you were cheating with Tess. He seemed so pissed about it and you were talking to her looking at her like you looked at me. I believed him, but now I know he was just trying to come between us. And I let him.” I feel the tears collect in my eyes and I blink them away. I brought it on myself.

“I was talking about you. That’s why I was looking at Tess like that Norma Jean.” His hand comes around my neck pulling me closer to his face. “I loved you so fucking much then. It physically hurt to be away from you. I couldn’t ever do something like that. If I have to prove it to you I will. I had to witness my dad cheating on my mom first hand. It’s not pretty and I would never put another person through that shit. Its ugly and it can ruin your entire life.”

“I know you wouldn’t do anything like that, now at least. I was young and I was scared what we had wasn’t real.” I look away from the intense look in his eyes. “It all started as revenge but you weren’t that guy who bullied me anymore. You changed. Much like Creed changed. I was insecure and I let him make me believe what he wanted.”

He tilts his head so I’ll meet his eyes again. “Creed always gets what he wants. That’s what this is all about anyway. He wanted what I had because it was pure and beautiful. He thought he could have it with you, since I did. He was wrong though. He could never have that with you, because it was mine. Something only you and I could make. We belong together smalls. I wish you would see that.” When he starts trailing kisses across my cheeks and down to my neck I start to wonder if maybe being owned by Chance Duncan isn’t such a bad thing. I mean the man knows how to use his lips…and other things.

Chance

Being in her room again brings all these feelings and memories I thought I pushed away a long time ago. Here they are walking around in my head and body causing me to want things I didn’t think I would ever want again. Don’t get me wrong though, I want them and very badly.

While she is lost in thought I lean in and brush my lips against hers softly at first but the kiss gets harder and more intense. Almost like we can’t stop ourselves. I don’t think we ever could. I’m drawn to her like a moth to the flame, whether it burns me alive or not is still left up in the air. I’m starting to realize I don’t really care. Set me ablaze Norma for I only burn for you.

“Do you want me smalls?” I question softly probing her open mouth with my tongue.

We shift until she is under me with her arms thrown around my neck. My hands lay impatient next to her ribs. My thumbs are dying to caress under her breasts but I force them to wait. She has to tell me. I have to hear her say she wants me as much as I want her. “Tell me now Norma.”

She lowers her arms till her hands are framing my face and she looks deep into my eyes. “I have always wanted you, Chance. Whether I wanted to want you or not.” She leans in and kisses my lips gently. “It’s not the same as wanting to be with you.”

I know what she is saying and I’m not gonna lie and say it doesn’t hurt. Our relationship was based on something that a relationship should never be based on. I don’t even know if we can really come back from that. I want this though. One more night to remember something that changed me from boy to man. Norma made me see things in life that I used to think were ugly and disgusting and made them beautiful and meaningful.

So I push all the bullshit and Creed away from my thoughts and kiss her. I kiss her like I mean it, like she’s the only woman in the world that I see. Which is true. No one comes close to this beautiful creature under me. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Her hands find their way under my shirt, smoothing over my skin making it feel tight and hot. God I’m so hot and barely breathing. How many nights did I stay awake wanting to feel her small hands on me? How many times did I think of her pomegranate smell as I got off? So many it’s impossible to count that high. Before I know it I’m slipping the t-shirt over my head so she can feel more.

She lets out a gasp, her eyes raking over the exposed flesh of my chest and stomach. “What does that say?” she asks her fingers trailing over my left side. Caden got to itching for a new tattoo and I went with him when he finally decided to go. He ended up with some scrabble pieces that spelled “betrayal” I never asked what it meant but that’s something you have to realize about Caden. If he doesn’t want you to know, then you don’t know.

“Love. Each letter is the name of someone who taught me the meaning of the word.” The top line of the “L” is “mother” and the side line is “Stacy”. The “O” is Macy’s name over and over again in a circle. The left side of the “V” is “Cassie” and the right side is “sister”. The “E” was the most painful. And not the physical kind. The main line is “Norma Jean” the top line is “Smalls” the middle line is “Violet” and the bottom line is “Forgiveness”

I watch her face as she reads it. When she sees her name she stops breathing. “Why would you put my name on you?” she looks back up at me with tears in those haunting eyes.

“Because you helped teach me the meaning of the word, Norma.” I take her hands from my sides and place them back around my neck. I’m done with talking.

My lips meet hers as my hand slips under her tank top. My fingers skim over the creamy flesh making my dick come to attention. I stop just under her breast when I realize she doesn’t have a bra on. Damn. My hand moves over the small globe and I rub my palm over the erect nipple making her moan around my lips. “You like when I touch you.” It’s a statement not a question.

She doesn’t answer but there isn’t a need. I know she likes it. She likes everything I do.

I pull up and sit back on my legs pulling her up with me. I yank her shirt off and her breasts come into view making me groan. Perfect titties with little pink nipples. I have one in my mouth before I even think about it. I flick my tongue across the bud before biting down tugging a little. “Chance.” she lets out in a sultry voice making my dick uncomfortable in my pants.

I let go rising back up to see those violet eyes clouded over in lust. “God you turn me on.” I don’t give her any warning as I slip my hand into her panties. My fingers slip and slide through the wetness I find there, making it impossible to do anything but kiss her. “So wet. I want a taste.”

Her eyes go wide and I barely stop a chuckle. I lay her back onto the bed and move down her body leaving kisses in random places that need attention. Her fingers are already in my hair and I can hear her breathing loudly, which only eggs me on. I’m feeling kind of crazed and I can’t stop myself as I rip off her panties. That gets a startled gasp and then she flushes deep red and arches her hips up towards my cock.

I get down to the level of her sex and take in the glistening prize I’m about to win. The moon comes in through the blinds causing lines across her body. She couldn’t be any more perfect. The first lick shocks her making her hips buck against my tongue. She tastes fucking incredible. Better than I ever thought or dreamed of. I suck her clit into my mouth as I slowly bring a finger up to enter her. “Oh my god.” she lets out, bucking her hips some more.

“Be still or I’ll stop.” I command. Where the hell did that come from? I don’t know but I like the reaction it gets out of her. She stills those hips and moans really loud, like she couldn’t help it. “Good girl.” I put my lips and finger back to work, wanting her to come like this. And I feel excited by how badly I want it. When her hands start clutching my hair hard, nearly pulling out some strands I know she’s there. Her back arches almost off the bed and the sight of her breasts rising and falling like that almost has me blowing in my pants.

I sit up stare at her flushed skin and crazy eyes. They are looking up at me. I chuckle when she pulls me down on top of her kissing my lips. “You like the way you taste?” I ask pulling away.

“I like the way I taste on you.” She reaches for me again but I slide out of reach and grab her hips. I flip her over and lay her flat on her stomach. That’s when I see it, something I must have missed in my haste last night. “Big Foot” is tattooed right where her back meets her ass. I shake my head and bend down to kiss the spot, feeling things I haven’t felt since the first time we were in this situation.

I unbutton my jeans and pull the zipper. My cock strains out from the hole in my boxers and a pump a fist over it taking in the sight of Norma’s perfect ass. I can’t hold back anymore as I lay my front down on her back and position my dick right at her wet entrance. “You are so fucking tight.” I rasp out as I thrust in and out gently till I’m all the way in. We both groan as I start to move. My thrusts are gentle because I want it slow. Every other time we had sex it was fast and out of control. This will be different if it kills me.

“You feel so good. Jesus.” I whisper into her ear, nibbling a little on the shell. She cries out and starts to move with me, trying to make the rhythm faster. “Be still. I want it slow, so we are going slow.” I push my hand underneath her and curl my fingers up till I hit her clit and start rubbing in time with my thrusts.

“Chance.” she moans, her hands clutching the sheets under her. I don’t know how much longer I can last with her being so responsive.

“That’s it, girl. Feel how good it is? That’s how I know you’re mine. It won’t feel this good with anyone else. Only me.” I pull out suddenly and flip her over. I sit on my knees and pull her closer. Her legs rest against my chest and I enter her again. I fall forward until her knees are bent at my shoulder and fuck her as hard as I can. Both of us grunt, groan and moan with the incredible feeling. Then she does something I wasn’t expecting.

Her fingers travel down to her sex and she starts rubbing her clit. “Damn. Make yourself come like that.” My eyes never leave her fingers playing and I can’t believe I’m even more turned on.

Before long her eyes get wide and my lips slam down on hers before she can make too much noise. I swallow the sound of her screams and feel her clutching around my cock and I let go. After we have both stilled, I gently place kisses all over her face before getting up to head into her bathroom.

When I return with a damp rag she is laying on her side still naked with one arm holding her head up. “What?” I say as she just lays there staring at me.

“I just wanted to see you walk in.” she grins reaching for the rag. I shake my head and place it between her legs before she can take it from me.

“I want to do it.” I whisper. When I’m done I toss the rag in the floor and pull the rest of my clothes off. After I have laid down beside her I say, “That was the hottest sex I have ever seen. Or had.”

“Me too.” I can feel her grin against my chest as I pull her up to my side.

“Good.” is all I reply.

It doesn’t take her long to fall asleep up against me. It truly scares me how comfortable I am right now. The sex, the cuddling, and now the sleeping next to her. I feel like I’m home and I’m sure my body never wants to leave. My head on the other hand isn’t sure at all.

I just keep thinking to the last time I was at her house. What I read in her diary and what she did for revenge. I didn’t care then because I thought I deserved it. Now I know better. Yeah I bullied her in school, but no one deserves their heart fucked with like that. Can we truly ever have an honest relationship based on how the first one was started?

My answer is no.

Chapter 12

Norma

“Why do you love snakes and spiders so much?” Creed asks me from his position lying down on my bed. My dad had to head up to New York to meet up with his publisher, so we decided to spend spring break here. It’s actually really small with only two bedrooms but the living room is epic. It is spacious with my dad’s writing desk in one corner but it’s the back wall you have to see. It’s completely made of glass and it overlooks the lake. DeGray is man-made but that doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful.

“I guess I relate to them. Most people think they are ugly and dangerous. It’s human nature to shy away from the strange and unknown. If people took the time to actually find out about them, then it wouldn’t be so bad. Rydstorm and Daisy aren’t even poisonous.” What I don’t tell him is I feel like I was treated the same way my entire life. I wasn’t pretty and I was weird so that made me an undesirable. So I took up with other undesirables.

“Do you love them more than me?” I take the mouse out of the box I got for Rydstorm earlier. I was freaked out the first time I had to feed him, but I kind of figure it’s like me eating a burger. We all have to eat, and this is the only way Rydstorm knows how. He can’t very well sit at the table with me using a fork and plate.

I’m taken back by Creed’s question. I know it’s a trap because how could I love him at all? I did love him when we were first together but he quickly changed that when I found out what he was really up too. The first time his fist hit my face, I lost all respect for him. I just wish I could dig myself out of this hole. “No. I love you more than anything.” I simply state. Yes, I lied but it’s better than getting the shit beat out of me.

I pool all the love I have for Rydstorm, my parents, Marley, and even the little bit I have stored away for the Chance I had for a short time. I direct it at him, hoping he believes it is all for him. He gets up off the bed and I suck in a breath. “See why don’t I believe you?”

His hand fists into the back of my hair pulling my head back, hard. I feel strands pulled from my scalp and I let out a whimper. “No one will love you as much as me. Yet you can’t really seem to muster up love for me. I give you everything you could ever want, Norma. Do you want to go back to that cheater I saved you from?” he sneers down at me.

After meeting the real Creed I’m 100% positive all that was bullshit. There’s no way the Chance I knew was the guy Creed makes him out to be. So why did I believe him in the first place you ask? Because I was insecure. Chance made fun of me, bullied me for being ugly, why the hell should I believe he really wanted me? I was a complete dumb ass. Every moment was real with him. I still don’t know why he loved me, but I’m thankful I can remember that time now.

“I do love you, more than anything.” I plead out hoping he can believe me. Maybe he will believe the lies because he never believes the truth.

“You’re lying. Like you always do.” He lets go of my hair and I breathe a sigh of relief. Creed leaves the room and I pray to God he calms down. My ribs are still bruised and hurting from the last time he got mad at me.

He returns with a butcher knife and I feel my skin pale. He walks over to Rydstorm’s cage and picks him up just the way I taught him. They sit on the floor and before I can even think to stop him Creed chops off Rydstorm’s head. I feel myself scream. And scream.

I sit straight up in my bed and clutch the sheets to my naked body. It wasn’t a nightmare but a terrible memory I wish I could forget. I never want to remember Rydstorm that way. He was my best friend when I had no friends at all. My poor beautiful snake.

I start sobbing big and ugly when Chance pulls me down to lay on his chest. I take in his warmth and thank the heavens he is here with me right now. “Bad dream?” he asks softly. I only nod my head. I don’t want to replay it for him. Ever. “Want to talk about it?”

“No I just want to forget about it.” I wipe the tears out from under my eyes and sigh against his skin. I love the smell of him. It’s all male with a hit of cologne that only makes it better.

“It might help. I don’t want you to bottle it up, okay smalls? I’m sure it has to do with Creed. You were terrified. He can’t hurt you anymore.” I look up at him and see the sincerity in them.

I sit back up and pull my knees up under my chin. “Last year for spring break Creed and I spent the week up at my dad’s cabin. He started asking me if I loved my snakes and spiders more than him. I lied and told him no, that I loved him more than anything. He didn’t believe me and chopped off Rydstorm’s head.”

Chance flinches and sits up next to me. The sheet falls from his chest and pools around his hips. He has muscles upon muscles and I recall the feel of all that strength under my fingers. “I’m so sorry Norma. That fucker will get what is coming to him. I won’t ever let him hurt you again. I swear that to you.” He kisses my cheek and I want to believe him

I just don’t think he knows how crazy Creed really is. What he put me through isn’t even half of it. I suddenly feel so stupid for leaving Chance like I did. I don’t care anymore if I was young and immature and only doing what I thought I should. I should have talked to him about it. I just refused to believe he really wanted me.

I turn to face Chance and pull his face towards mine. I place my nose against his and cup his cheeks. “I’m so sorry for what I did Chance. I shouldn’t have left like that. I shouldn’t have believed him. It was the stupidest thing I ever did.” I place my lips softly against his and climb into his lap.

A few tears escape down his face and I kiss them away. “I should have come after you. I didn’t try hard enough. You just make me so crazy and I just couldn’t face that you didn’t want me.”

I start grinding my hips down on his groin making both of us groan. I feel his dick get hard and I grind faster until it’s hard enough for me to slip him inside of me. “I want you. I will always want you.” I whisper in his ear.

I start rocking back and forth slowly making both of us crazy. He’s letting me have all the control as his hands fist into the sheets. I slowly rise up until he is almost out of me and slowly sink back down. He finally grabs my hips and with a growl he says. “Yeah you like that girl? Well I’ll make it better.”

He starts rocking me faster and harder, my clit rubbing against his stomach. I don’t last long before I throw my head back and cover my mouth with my hand as I scream my release. I swear I see lightning behind my closed eyes. He starts trailing kisses up my neck as he says, “That was fucking sexy as hell.” I shiver as he reaches my ear, our bodies still joined and rocking together. “I wanna make you come again.”

I lift his head towards mine and look into his eyes, “Not without you.” I kiss his mouth and our tongues snake out to twine together. I hold onto his shoulders as I feel the sensations build up in my stomach again.

“Look at me when you come, Norma. Always look at me.” He growls as his hands start moving me even faster. His thumb glides down my neck, over my erect nipple, past my stomach and stops at my clit where he flicks it once, twice, three times. My back arches at the exquisite touch and I moan out really loud. When he starts rubbing it hard I meet his eyes as my climax takes over my entire body.

He forces our mouths together to smother the cries and growls from the release. He jerks under me as I see the lightning again behind my closed eyes. We fall down to my bed and he curves his body around my back. His arm lays over me protectively and I can’t help but to feel completely in love with him. Again.

*****

The sun shining right into my eyes is what wakes me the next morning. I feel safe and protected here in Chance’s arms. I honestly never want to leave. I roll over and look up at his face. His eyes pop open as I move and I give him a shy smile. “Good morning.” He says, his voice rough with sleep.

“Good morning.” I reply. He kisses me softly on the lips right before my mom bursts into the room.

“Good morning kids. Get up I have coffee and pancakes!” and then she is gone. I’m going to have to talk to her about drinking too much coffee again. She doesn’t work graveyard anymore since I’m not living here.

“Is she on crack?” Chance asks and I can’t help but to laugh. We smile at each other and climb out of bed.

I get distracted pulling on a clean pair of undies by his glorious naked bod. I seriously want to lather him up with whipped cream and eat him up. Okay that was a little weird but you would too if you got one look at him. All those muscles hiding just under his skin. I could do my laundry on his abs. His pecks are buffed out and his shoulders are wide and strong.

It takes me a moment to realize he is eyeing me the way I am him. My underwear are half way up my legs and I kind of feel like a deer caught in head lights. He swallows and licks his lips, “Later. I will bend you over something later.” He states before he turns around to get dressed.

My mom is in her robe sitting at the kitchen table sipping on a cup of coffee. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” I ask pointing at her cup.

She looks at me and rolls her eyes. “No. I have been up since three when I had to hear my daughter having sex. Excuse me if I’m a little freaked the hell out.” Chance drops his cup to the floor and coffee goes everywhere. I feel my cheeks turn red and I kind of sputter. “It’s okay though. At first I was really upset, but then I got to thinking you’re grown and I’m just jealous you’re getting some and I’m not.”

I think Chance is about to faint and I sputter some more. Then I didn’t blurt out, “Whatever happened to that guy you had over when I was little? This is a trailer mom. It shakes, and I might have been ten but I’m not stupid.”

And mom didn’t blurt, “It was just your father. And don’t tell him you remember.”

Chance

“So that’s Norma Jean? That sexy little thing over there with all that hair and perfect butt?” Caden points with his free hand, the other holding a keystone light.

I knock his hand down before she realizes he is pointing at her. “Yes that’s her. Now shut up.” I glare at him before taking a sip of my own beer. My mom decided to throw a party to celebrate that Macy is safe and okay. It’s really more for Macy since the kid loves parties.

“No seriously Chance. You are thinking of leaving that behind? Cuz if you really are I’ll go holler at her. I’d love to bend her over something.” He winks at me. Declan walks up behind him and slaps him on the back of the head.

“Shut up Caden. You stay out of his love life, because you sure as hell don’t want anyone in yours. I think out of the three of us, yours is the most messed up.” He gives Caden a pointed look. The three of us make a strange pair. The tortured bad boy artist, who isn’t really tortured. The football star with daddy issues who is going to be a lawyer and is in love with his best friends little sister. And the silent strong type who’s into math. We all came together for the single fact we have fucked up love lives.

Caden won’t admit it even on his dying breath that he is in love with his twin brother’s girlfriend. Declan and Teagan were still apart when I met him, but they have since worked things out. Which is a relief since Declan was a scary guy with a broken heart. And of course me, who fell in love with the girl he made fun of and hurt irrevocably.

Not something you would want to bring a group of people together but it did. Can’t say I’m unhappy about it. I have friends for life in these two. I was happy when they showed up about an hour ago, being back home brings out things I would rather not think about. Like my dad who is currently drunk off his ass and groping my step mom. In front of everyone.

“Dude your dad is a freak. How did his ugly ass end up with your step mom?” Caden sips his beer eyeing the disgusting couple.

“She’s after his money. Though he got her to sign a pre-nup so she is pretty much stuck with him unless he cheats. Which he will, the man gets bored after a while. I wouldn’t be surprised if he already has. He would still be with mom if I hadn’t caught him cheating.” I turn away from them in horror when dads hand snakes under Mary Beth’s shirt. Gross.

“Well look at it this way, at least your dad didn’t cheat and end up with a daughter who is two weeks younger than your youngest children with your wife.” Caden shrugs his shoulders and looks over at Teagan. Her black hair shines in the sun and her smile is bright. I wasn’t around but the way Caden talks she lost that spark she seems to carry around for a while.

“Look man, you got to snatch that girl up before some really decent man does. She isn’t going to wait around for you forever. Look at that body, she has a sex goddess hidden under that sweater and jeans.” I raise my hand to smack him but Declan stops me.

“He’s just trying to get you to do what you have to. Don’t pay him any mind. We all know you love her and she loves you. Hell it comes off you two in waves. I know what it’s like. I will say you need to hang on to her.” He nods and I’m about to reply when my name is called from the back door.

“Chance!” Spencer jogs over, patting me on the back when he reaches me.

“What’s up?” I ask looking behind him for Dean. Paige showed up earlier and I figure he wasn’t far behind.

“Dean’s helping your mom in the kitchen. He feels really bad about what happened, but you have to realize he didn’t have anything to do with it.” Spencer grins at me before his head starts turning looking for a certain red head he is madly in love with.

“I know. I may not have really known my best friend but I know when a guy is in love. Working with Creed would have hurt Paige and Dean would never do that.” Spencer winces but I didn’t mean it like that. Which I tell him. He didn’t set out to hurt Harley.

“I know but it still totally hurts when people say shit like that. Anyway I just wanted to know if it was going to be weird with him around.” I shake my head no and watch him make his way over to Harley.

She squeals and throws her arms around his shoulder. Spencer’s hands travel down to her ass and I smile and shake my head at the couple.

“So that’s the one that cheated? You know after the…tragedy?” Caden asks doing finger quotations around tragedy.

“Yeah. Really sucks but as long as Harley is happy, I’m not one to say anything about it. I think that girl has enough going on what with her dad being a murderer and her long lost brother being a gangster.” Caden and Declan’s eyes bug out at that I almost laugh. Though it’s not funny.

“There are gangs in Arkansas?” Declan asks shock written over his entire face.

I do laugh at that. “I don’t know about true down to earth gangs but Mason hangs out with a bunch of guys with tattoos and guns. Though they honestly do only good. The church on Main Street burnt down and the next week they were over there rebuilding it, asking no pay.”

“Dude.” Caden shakes his head. “I have seen stranger shit.” He looks off lost in thought.

Declan and I laugh turning towards our girls. Maybe I should let go of my doubts and go for it.

Norma who stands next to Teagan looks over at me, like she could feel my eyes on her. Which they were, the girl has a nice ass. One I had my hands on last night.

That had to be the best sex of my entire life. It really makes a difference when you have true feelings for the person. I felt like sparks were coming off our skin, we were electric. I look at her now through my lashes and crook my finger beckoning her over. Like she is attached to a string she excuses herself from the group of girls and stumbles over to me. “Wanna dance?” I ask softly close to her ear.

She nods her head and we walk to an empty spot in the yard. One More Night by Maroon 5 starts to play and Norma’s hips sway to the beat of the music. “But baby there you go again there you go again making me love you.” I sing swaying my body with hers.

She stops dancing and looks up into my eyes. “Do you mean that?” she asks on a whisper almost like she didn’t mean to say anything.

“Always have. Always will.” I tell her bringing her body into mine hugging her close like I won’t ever let her go. And I really don’t plan on it.

I’m about to really say the words when her phone starts ringing. She fishes it out of her pocket and her face goes completely pale. I snatch the phone out of her hand and read the name on the screen. Creed. “You better hope I don’t find you. You aren’t going to get saved a second time.” I say harshly into the receiver.

“Well hello there to you too Chance. How’s my girl doing?” I hear a lighter clinch shut in the background. A sense of foreboding overcomes me.

“She was my girl first, jackass. You stole her from me and proceeded to ruin her life.” I really want to reach through this damn thing and ring his neck.

“It was so easy too. Played right into my hands. I told you I get whatever I want. Now I own her and there’s nothing you can do about it.” He flicks the lighter open and close a few times and I flinch at every single one.

“You don’t own her fucker. She isn’t a piece of property. Besides her heart and soul belong to me.” Norma looks at me in anger and tries to take the phone out of my hands. I turn out of her reach putting a finger over my mouth to keep her quiet.

“Think what you want. Norma Jean knows who really loves her.” He goes silent for a minute flicking that damn lighter some more. “You tell her I’m taking my revenge for sleeping with you in my bed no less. I’ll see y’all later.” The phone goes silent and I hand it back to Norma.

She glares at me before stomping off towards the front of the house. I give it a minute before I follow behind her. I figure she is pissed because I egged him on. I can’t help it though. The guy was my best friend for years, I thought we were brothers for life. Only to find out he took the only person who could love me for me. And destroyed the girl I knew with his actions.

I find her beside her car smoking a cigarette. Naughty girl. I could have sworn she told me she quit.

Norma blows the smoke out and I take in the familiar menthol scent. It was something I missed about her. I used to run into smokers and inhale hoping to drag up old memories of her. Here's hoping I never have to do that again. "I thought you said you quit?" I ask her with a grin on my face.

Her cute little nose wrinkles and she glares at me, "I did. Then you show up. I can't decide whether to kill you or fuck you." she takes a drag looking away from me. "So I picked this back up to keep myself from doing either."

A chuckle forms and I bite my lip to keep it in. "You've already fucked me three times, smalls. Kind of think you're wasting your breath...and your lungs."

That earns me an eye roll. "You seduced me, big foot." she replays mockingly.

I step close to her, until I'm in her personal space. "Payback for all the times you seduced me." I bite her ear lobe, which always seems to make her crazy. And horny.

She gasps before her hands come up to clutch my shoulders. "Quit." her fingers loosen. "You know that makes me insane."

My lips trail down her neck before I raise my head to catch her eyes. "Good. You should always be insane for me." Right before I kiss her full lips I say, "I'm always fucking insane for you. You walk into the room and I look for things to bend you over." My lips meet hers frantically our tongues come out and tangle together.

I bend her back over the car as my hand snakes under her shirt. That’s when her mom comes running out of the house calling Norma’s name. We both look up at the hysterical woman with a phone gripped tightly in her hands. “What’s wrong mom?” Norma questions.

“Honey, your Grammy’s house is on fire. They thought they got her out on time but she didn’t make it.” The second she said fire all I hear is the lighter in the background of the phone conversation I had with Creed.

Chapter 13

Norma

It’s been a week since she died. I’m completely numb. I can’t remember anything truly important happening in my life without my Grammy being there. Every birthday party, graduations, holidays and award dinners. She has been there my entire life, and it’s so hard to imagine that she won’t ever be there again. I’ve lost an important part of my life and I just don’t know how to handle it.

My mom is a complete wreck. I’ve had to pick her up off the floor several times. Even big bad Marley is lost. I’ve never seen my cousin cry and the moment I told him, he started bawling like a baby. They are all looking at me like I’m not upset about it. But how do you tell them you’re the sole reason she is dead? You don’t.

The fire marshal said the fire was started by gasoline poured throughout the house and they found a lighter at the beginning of the trail. I saw the lighter, Creed bought it at a gas station in Arkadelphia one night. It was gold with black skulls painted across it. He used it to light his joints.

Though the fire wasn’t what killed her. It was a heart attack. I wonder if Creed came into her house and scared her so bad she died. I’m not sure though, my Grammy was a tough lady. I wonder how many people in this town sigh in relief that she died with all her secrets. Between you and me I think she used those secrets to pay her bills.

“Norma?” Chance calls from the living room of my mom’s house. He should have gone back to school. He shouldn’t have to be here taking care of me, while I take care of everyone else. I really don’t think Marley has left my living room in a week. My mom and aunt have hardly left her bedroom. I can hear them crying at all hours. I feel for them.

“Yeah?” I call back hoping he will come back here. I can’t face my family. I haven’t left my bedroom in a week. The funeral is today and I’m sitting in here in my underwear trying to find something to wear. My Grammy wouldn’t want us to wear black but then again the entire town will be there, if only to thank God their secrets are safe.

“You gotta get dressed smalls.” He states when he enters my bedroom. He looks good, decent. His short hair is artfully styled to make him look nice. His suit is very dark blue with a matching tie. His under shirt is white and peeks out of the jacket. His pants fit perfect exposing the muscles in his legs when he moves.

“I can’t decide what to wear.” I look up at him with the same expression I have given everyone else who has tried to talk to me. I have no emotion to give to them. I locked them down deep where no one can reach. Like I said, I’m numb.

“Wear whatever you want. I don’t think anyone will care. Your Grammy was famous in this town for being…out going. I doubt they expect you to wear black.” He grabs my hand and pulls me into his chest. I feel safe here, but how long will that last? How long before Creed takes everyone I love away from me?

“I know. I just want to look nice for her.” I snuggle into his arms and pretend I never have to leave. For some reason he doesn’t judge me for what happened, even though he knows. He knows who did this. We told the police Creed threatened my family and that the lighter found was his. I just hope they can find him before he hurts anyone else. That hope is wasted though. If Creed doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be found. He has low life’s all over this state who would hide him. I guess being in the drug game makes you allies for life. Which is complete bullshit.

“You will, Norma. She would just have wanted you to be there, that’s all. And to support your family and take care of them. You can do all of that, I know you can.” He smiles down at me and I try to lose myself in those hazel’s I love so much.

“How can I be there for them, if I’m the reason this happened.” I ask feeling a wall crack. I shouldn’t be talking about this. It will only make me feel and that’s something I never want to do again.

“Creed is the reason this happened. They say you don’t know a sociopath is a sociopath until it’s too late. Which is exactly what is going on here. He got too close to us and knows how to hurt us. He thinks we wronged him and now he’s trying to make us pay for it. That’s why he was flipping that damn lighter in the back ground while I was on the phone with him.” His eyes get really big and I can tell he didn’t mean to say that.

Now I do feel something. Complete and total hurt. “What?” I whisper out like maybe I can pretend he didn’t just say that.

“When I was on the phone with him, he was opening and closing that lighter. I didn’t think anything of it but apparently he was putting it to use.” He looks at me with pleading eyes. Chance knows me so well. He knows I’m about to go off on him, and I can’t say he’s wrong.

“You knew he had that lighter this whole time? We could have called someone! They could have stopped this!” I scream at him. I’m so fucking pissed I’m shaking all over and breathing really hard.

“I didn’t know he was going to set your grandmother’s house on fire, Norma! Jesus if I had known that I would have stopped him. Do you realize how many places he could have been at? I had no clue he was at your Grammy’s. I swear that to you Norma Jean.” He tries to grab my hand and I brush him off. I can’t look at him right now let alone touch him.

“It doesn’t matter! You could have prepared me! You knew he was going to set something on fire and kill someone! You knew!” I scream and scream at him not caring who hears us, even though I should be. My family is here and they loved the woman we are about to go see buried. They shouldn’t hear this.

“How did I know it was a threat, I thought he was just being annoying. He used to open and close lighters all the time and he knows it gets on my nerves. Norma if I had known he was going to set your Grammy’s house on fire I would have told you. I wouldn’t have let this happen to her. I promise you, girl. I promise.” I hear the truth in his words but I don’t care at this point. I just want to be mad and lash out at someone, and who more perfect then the one I love the most. He needs to be far away from me, I’m dangerous to be in love with.

“You need to leave. I’ll see you at the funeral.” I state apathetically. I turn away from him and suddenly realize I’m still in my underwear. I stalk past him and head into the bathroom slamming the door behind me. I stand in front of the mirror and stare at nothing. I am nothing.

Chance knocks on the door but I don’t answer. “I love you smalls. Forever and always.” he simply states and I hear him head to the front and then out the door.

I crawl into the empty bathtub and finally cry for my Grammy. It’s something she would hate but I don’t care. I’m alone and hurting.

*****

The preacher says some things about what a great woman she was. I don’t listen. I know how my Grammy was and while she was a great woman she had her flaws. But I don’t care about those, she loved me no matter what I looked like or how I acted. It was unconditional and besides my mom, no one has shown me that. I will miss her the rest of my life, but she will live on in my heart.

We throw handfuls of dirt and roses down to the coffin. My mom and aunt are crying their eyes out and Marley is holding himself up using me. Figured I would be the only one who could keep it together. Though if you think about it, I’ve been keeping it together for years.

I was the laughing stock of my school for an entire year. I could have gone in there and gunned down everyone but I didn’t. I pretended they weren’t there even though everything they said hurt. I was beaten and abused by Creed for nearly two years and I didn’t let it break me. I should have run screaming but that would have made me end up dead. I should have told someone who could do something, but again that would have made me end up dead. I survived.

I even survived my love for Chance Duncan. As harsh as it might sound its true. My love for him knew no bounds. We share the same soul and leaving him was the hardest fucking thing I have ever done. I survived him once and I sure as hell will do it again. Yeah I know, who would have thought I was this sappy.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Norma.” Caden Harper, Chance’s roommate stands in front of me all of a sudden. I take in his blond hair and light blue eyes. He has laugh lines around his mouth and I smile on the inside. I wonder sometimes what it would be like to be that happy.

“Thank you.” I say but as I stare into his eyes I see pain. Lots of pain. I know it’s not for my Grammy or me, since he doesn’t know either of us. It leaves me wondering what this happy male could have gone through for there to be that much pain in his eyes. I squeeze his arm as he passes and he looks back at me surprised. “It will be okay. Whatever it is, it will be okay.”

His eyes cloud as if he might cry but he doesn’t. He nods his head and walks off towards the rest of his friends. I may never be okay or live a happy life, but I have faith that Caden will.

“Norma.” Comes Chance’s voice. I turn sharply and hit his chest with my face. He catches me before I fall on my butt.

“What the hell?” I say glaring up at him. His eyes roam over my black skirt and panty hose that show off my legs. My sweater is black and tight and his eyes stay a little too long over my breasts.

“I didn’t mean to startle you. I called your name a few times.” He grins and I want to grin with him, but I can’t muster up the strength.

“Sorry I was lost in thought.” I reply and look over at my mom. She is in her favorite dress. It’s sparkly and gold and looks amazing on her. She wore her heavy black coat over it. I turn back to Chance so my mom can have her goodbyes.

He grabs my wrist gently and start tugging me over to his truck. And yes it’s the same old white one he has in high school. “What are you doing?” I ask as I try to pry his fingers off of me. No use, he is just stronger than me.

“Kidnapping you.”

Chance

“Just get in the truck Norma.” I say when she folds her arms over her chest. It is the only thing I can think of to keep her safe. Creed doesn’t know where I live in Fayetteville. I talked to Marley before the funeral and he is going to keep an eye on his mom and aunt.

“No. You have no right to do this. It’s my life and I’ll do whatever the hell I want.” She sneers at me before turning to walk away. Caden blocks her path which only makes her stomp her foot like a little child. “What the fuck, Chance! I can take care of myself!” she practically screams at me.

“I know you can Norma, but the circumstances are against you. Creed is out there hurting people you love. I won’t let him get to you.” I pull her back into my arms holding her close. “I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you and I did nothing to protect you.” I whisper close to her ear.

Her limbs loosen but I can still feel the fight in her. “And I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. Do you think he is just coming after me? No he’s going to come after you too. I need to be far away from you so that doesn’t happen.” she pleads.

I turn her in my arms to face me. I gently push her hair behind both ears and stare into her violet eyes. “Nothing is going to happen to me, I swear it. He doesn’t know where I live in Fayetteville. He doesn’t even know who I live with. He can’t find me there and that means if you come with me, he won’t be able to find you either.”

She huffs before replying. “That doesn’t matter. He can still hurt the people I care about here. He won’t stop until he completely ruins me.”

“Mason and Marley are on it. Do you really think I would leave if my family wasn’t looked after? No I wouldn’t. I’m not that kind of man.” I see the fight leave her eyes. She knows like everyone else Mason and Marley wouldn’t let anything happen to anyone on their watch.

“Fine. But I’m not happy about this at all.” She shoves past me and climbs into the truck, slamming the door.

“What a firecracker. I bet y’all have amazing sex.” Caden chuckles staring at Norma in the truck.

“That’s none of your business. Thanks for helping though, I’ll see y’all at the house.” We nod and go our separate ways. It didn’t take any convincing on my roommates parts. After Creed went after Norma’s grandmother they want her safe from him. That bastard is lucky I haven’t found him yet. Going after a poor defenseless old lady is the lowest of lows.

I climb into the cab of my truck and turn the keys, the vehicle roaring to life. Norma sits with her feet under her and her arms crossed over her chest again. She looks completely pissed off and she will just have to stay that way. I would go to jail to protect her, kill even. That’s how much she means to me.

“I’m not sharing a room with you, if you think this is going to be about sex.” she says out the window, watching the scenery fly by.

“It’s not about sex. Though I wouldn’t turn it down if that’s what you want. I honestly want you to be safe and this is the only way I know how. I’m sorry you don’t like it but you can get over it.” She turns her head towards me with her mouth forming a perfect o.

“I don’t like it because I have another overbearing alpha man trying to control my life. I’m still dealing with the last one, I don’t need another one nipping at my heels.” She glares her violet eyes full of fire. When we were together in high school we never fought so this is all new to me.

I pull the truck over to the side of the road and grab her arms gently. I say making sure her eyes are on mine, “I fucking love you Norma Jean. That asshole doesn’t know what the meaning of the word is. I would never control you, never lay a hand on you. I wouldn’t even make you fuck me in public. Don’t you ever compare me to that freak again. I only have your best interest at heart, like I always have and always will.” I kiss her harshly putting my point across.

When our lips part I think she might slap me but she surprises me by kissing me deeply, her hands fisting into my short hair. It quickly gets out of control with us trying to devour the other. The windows fog up making the outside world disappear and leaving us in our own little world.

Her hands leave my hair and trail down my body. I feel strung tight and I’m waiting for her to let me go. Her little hands find their way into my pants where she fists my cock forcing a groan out of my throat. “Smalls.” I whisper into the thick air.

She raises onto her knees kissing me like it’s with her last breath. Her hand pumps my cock until I feel like I’m ready to blow. I don’t know how we went from fighting to this but I hope I can pull it off again and again. I lift her dress up and rip her panties and throw the destroyed lace into the floorboard. “Fuck me, Chance.” she pleads around our lips.

I shake off her hands and pull her down onto my lap, her sex sliding over my cock. I swear my eyes roll into the back of my head. “Anytime, anywhere.” I say as I enter her slowly. She is wet and ready for me. I want her like this every damn minute of the day.

Her hands grip my shoulders as mine grip her hips pulling her up and down. The sensations are incredible and I wonder if the sex will be this way the rest of our lives. God I hope so.

“Chance.” she chants over and over again. I grin against her neck as I place deep kisses along the sensitive skin. “God, I’m gonna come so hard.” she rasps out.

“Not without me.” I growl pulling her harder against me with each motion. “Look at me.” I pull her face until her forehead is against mine and that’s all it takes. Her eyes light up with her climax and I swear I see stars as I come inside her.

After a moment we catch our breaths and she slides off my lap. I grin at the dazed look on her face and stuff myself back into my pants. I sit back in the driver seat and she sits right in the middle. Just like she used too. She grabs my hand, lacing her fingers with mine and lays her head on my shoulder. “I love you, too.” She whispers closing her eyes. All I can do is grin like an idiot.

*****

“Dude are those panties?” Caden asks when I open the driver side door in front of the house. He opened the passenger side door to help Norma carry her stuff, which we stopped by her moms and got.

All I can do is roll my eyes. Figures he would see those even though it’s dark and the panties are black. “No seriously. You ripped them?” he questions sounding astonished, grabbing the lace out of the truck floor.

I hate to admit it but my cheeks flush. I don’t think I’ve blushed since I was a little kid and my mom said something embarrassing. “Shut up.”

“I knew you two had amazing sex. Dude give me details.” He looks generally interested but I flip him off and head after Norma who already headed into the house. “I haven’t gotten laid in months and you flip me off? I need to live through you! Come on Chance tell me!” he pleads following close behind me.

I turn forcing him to stop quickly. “What I do with her, is none of your business. It’s no one’s business except for Norma and me. Get that through your head.” I glare at him hard before I turn to actually make it into the house.

“You are a total buzz kill.” He mutters behind me, making me grin cockily.

I find an unexpected sight when I enter the living room. Teagan and Norma are sitting on the couch. There are sleeping bags laid out on the floor and a bowl of popcorn sitting on the coffee table. Caden heads straight for the food but Teagan slaps his hand away. “God Caden! This is for our slumber party, go away.”

Slumber party? I throw a questioning look at Norma who shrugs her shoulders. “Teagan and I were talking about how much we loved Pretty Little Liars. She happens to have all three seasons on DVR so she decided to have an all-night marathon.”

“Okay.” I say slowly. I kind of hoped she would be sleeping with me tonight but it looks like I get my cold bed to myself. Bummer.

“Sorry Chance. I figured Norma needed a nice little girl’s night. You understand, right?” Teagan says looking up at me expectantly.

I can’t help but to grin at her little girl demeanor. “Yeah, I don’t care. As long as you don’t make me watch any of that shit.” I walk over to kiss Norma on the head and whisper in her ear, “Love you smalls.”

She smiles up at me and I head up the stairs to my own room. Alone.

I pass Declan’s room and there is a card table set up. He and his little brother Marcus sit in two of the four chairs surrounding the table. “Hey since the girls are doing their thing I figured we could do our own. Though I’m not sleeping with all of you in the room.”

“Sweet cards! And whiskey!” Caden exclaims claiming the seat next to Marcus.

I shake my head at him and walk into the room. “Cool, I guess.” I mutter sitting next to Declan. He deals out the cards and we start playing poker. I’m not good at this game at all. I can’t even tell you the rules or even how to play. Though we aren’t using real money, so I’m not losing anything.

“So Chance you were going to tell us details on what happened in the truck with Norma.” Caden says slyly making me glare in his direction.

“We seriously just had this conversation. Shut up because I’m not going to tell you anything.” I set my cards down to smack him on the back of the head.

Of course this piques Declan’s curiosity, “What happened in the truck?” I glare at him as well and then over at Marcus for extra measure.

“Dude he ripped off her panties.” He smirks at me when my entire face flushes yet again for the second time tonight.

Marcus and Declan look over at me like that haven’t ever seen me before. “I honestly didn’t know you had that in you.” Declan states clearing his throat.

“Me either.” Marcus throws in.

I roll my eyes. “None of you has had or will have sex with me, so how the hell did you know what I had in me or not?” I ask raising my eyebrows.

Declan blinks several times before answering. “Well you have a point there.” He clears his throat again. “I just meant you don’t seem to be that kind of aggressive in the bedroom.”

Caden chuckles about to reply when the girls yell out downstairs. We all get up and rush to the landing but nothing seems out of place. “What’s wrong?” I call out.

Their heads turn up to us and Norma says, “Toby is dead!”

Damn Pretty Little Liars.

Chapter 14

Norma

“So what is your story?” I ask Teagan in between bites of ice cream she pulled out of the freezer.

“Oh good lord. It’s a long one, are you sure you have time? You might need some tissues as well!” she laughs but I have a feeling she’s serious.

“Yeah I want to know. I’m super nosy, I get it from my…Grammy.” I look down at my hands which are folded in my lap.

“Hey it’s okay, I think it’s human nature to be nosy. I hear though your Grammy was really good at it.” She smirks over at me before placing her spoon down in the tub of Southern Blackberry Cobbler. “Well I’m one of six. My five brothers and sisters are all from the same mom and dad. I’m not. My dad and step mom were going through a rough patch and he cheated which produced me.” She scowls before shoving more ice cream in her mouth. When she’s done swallowing she goes on, “My mom didn’t think it was a good idea for me to know about my brothers or sisters, not until I was ten and she was dying from breast cancer. I was devastated. I honestly didn’t know what to do. Caden and Jaden are two weeks older than me and were in the same grade as me! I’m like, you just decided to spring this on me just because you’re dying? Gee thanks mom.” She rolls her eyes looking up the stairs for a second. “I got over the pain and moved on with my life. Though Caden and Jaden like to think they control my life. I really don’t think Caden cared about my relationship with Declan. He didn’t even know about it till it was too late anyway. I was already in love with him. Like he has any room to talk. But thats a different story.” She shrugs her shoulders looking back at me.

“So they didn’t want you to be with Declan? Why? He seems to have his head on straight. He puts all the guys I know to shame, including Chance.” I stuff the spoon in my mouth savoring the deliciousness of the ice cream.

“Jaden has…issues. Declan was his best friend in the whole world. He didn’t want me to get hurt because I had been through enough pain in my short life.” She pauses taking in a deep breath. “Jaden didn’t even know until I had a miscarriage. And I didn’t even know I was pregnant. The entire family had sheltered me all my life so it’s safe to say I was pretty immature. I actually tossed Declan out of my hospital room and told him I never wanted to see him again. It took me months to come to my senses. I’m lucky he was still waiting for me.”

I grab her hand and squeeze. “Oh my god that is horrible! I can’t imagine that kind of loss. Children are precious and it hurts me to think of you losing yours before you even knew it existed.”

She looks up at me and smiles softly. “It’s okay. Yeah I’ll always be sad about it, but one day I’ll have more with Declan. They won’t replace the child I lost, don’t get me wrong, but it will fill in some of the hole in my heart.” A tear leaks out of her green eyes and I gently swipe it away.

“Don’t worry my story is way more fucked up.” I state looking up towards the stairs now. I know he is sitting up there doing whatever. I still can’t believe I’m this close to him when I thought I never would be again. It’s an amazing feeling.

“Well since I poured out my soul, lets hear it!” Teagan exclaims pulling a couch pillow into her lap, squeezing it tight.

“Well I had terrible acne when I was a pre-teen. Chance was going through a lot at the same time, so he took that out on me. He made fun of me for months and I still have scars from it to this day.” Sometimes when I close my eyes I can still feel the hurt and anger over everything I did. “So one night about 4 years ago, he came home drunk while I was watching Macy. I was asleep on the couch and he thought it would be okay to kiss me. I thought, wow I finally have something over him. I could make him fall in love with me and have my revenge.”

“Did you? I know it’s not my place but you really did a number on him. He sometimes calls your name out in the middle of the night. Caden used to ask him about past girlfriends and he would flinch and brush him off.” She smirks before eating more of the cold treat. “All the boys in this house have been screwed up by love. It’s a wonder they can even live normal lives.”

“I kept waiting for him to admit he loved me, but before he could I said it. And I meant it. He wasn’t that boy anymore who tormented me. He grew up and was an actual gentleman. I couldn’t crush him. I just wanted to be with him.” I squeeze my eyes shut remembering the words out of Creeds mouth that day. God how stupid was I? “Then Creed happened.”

“What did he do? Other than the obvious.” Teagan says quietly.

“He told me Chance was cheating. I totally believed him because I was still pretty insecure and couldn’t believe that Chance really wanted to be with me. Now I know better.” Which is truer than it ever was.

“And then Creed wormed his way into your life because of that. Wow he’s even more of a freak than I thought. I can’t believe you have been through all this and you’re still sitting here like a normal person.” She leans forward and places the empty ice cream tub on the coffee table.

“Throughout my entire relationship with Creed I knew that one day it would end. He would either kill me or get bored. It might have taken him awhile but he finally got bored. Though I should have already known he would think of me as his property for the rest of my life. That’s how he works.” It’s amazing to me what kind of things people can hide away under their skin. If you think about it, everyone is hiding a different person, one the rest of the world doesn’t know about.

“That is what these kind of guys think like. He is also pretty peeved that he went through all that trouble to break you and Chance up and you went right back to him the second you could.” I’ve thought of it that way myself. He couldn’t let go of the fact he ruined us but didn’t.

“I’ve been dealt so much shit my entire life, I’ve come to expect it. I kind of feel like this is all I have in store for me. I’ve only ever been truly happy with Chance and Creed is doing everything in his power to take that away from me.” I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes. I’m suddenly tired, more tired than I have ever been. I feel like my every waking moment is a fight, a fight for the things I need to make me happy. The things I need to make me live a good life.

I never thought things would just fall at my feet, but sometimes I would like one little break. My dad has been absent my entire life and then I find out he was having sex with my mom, in my house while I was home and he didn’t bother to say hello. Chance made me feel bad about myself along with the entire school. But I find out he isn’t that guy anymore, then he is stolen from me. Enter Creed who is the sickest person I have ever met. My life is one big cluster fuck.

“I think I’m going to head to bed. I like the whole slumber party idea, but I would rather not sleep on the floor.” I tell Teagan rising up from the couch.

“Yeah I didn’t really think we would, it was mostly for show. I didn’t have any girlfriends growing up so I thought it would be fun to have a slumber party.” She shrugs her shoulder.

I give her a hug, squeezing her tiny body up against me. “I didn’t have girlfriends either. Not until I went to college and my roommate took me under her wing. Though I don’t know what kind of friend she really is since she hasn’t called me in weeks.” I let her go saying good night and heading up the stairs.

I find Chance playing cards in what I assume is Declan’s room. It’s clean and there are a few items that scream girl. Which means Teagan put them there. “I’m ready for bed Chance.” I speak out since they didn’t notice my entrance into the room.

He looks up at me surprised and can only grin. I did tell him I wouldn’t sleep in the same bed with him. Though the incident in the truck kind of changes things. “Okay smalls.” He bids goodnight to the guys, getting a catcall from Caden.

Chance leads me down the hall to a bedroom at the end of the landing. It’s smaller but it’s still bigger than my dorm room. It’s also screams Chance. The hunter green walls are bare except for a few pictures of his family. The bed is made with a matching comforter and pillows. His closet doors are open and I take in all his clothes. I have to stop myself from walking over and touching them all and taking in his wonderful scent.

“There’s a bathroom through that door if you want to brush your teeth and stuff.” He points to a door on the other side of the bed and I nod.

I do my “thang” and walk back out into the bedroom. Chance is sitting on the bed in a pair of boxers. His tattooed side hiding in the dim light. I suck in a breath at the way he looks up at me. I feel the liquid heat ignite in my stomach and spread to my legs. It’s amazing what a look can do to someone. And Chances right now is burning me alive. “Stop it.” I say breathily.

“No. Come here.” He growls pulling me along with those hazel eyes. The green and caramels seem to swirl around with the lust written in them. “I didn’t realize how incredibly sexy it would be for you to wear my clothes. All I want to do is rip them off of you.”

I walk forward to him and place my hands on his shoulders. “No more ripping. That was a great pair of panties you ruined.” I chuckle when he looks up and grins at me. “I love you, big foot.” I sigh kissing his full lips.

His hands land on my ass squeezing the flesh making me moan. “I love you, smalls.” He whispers out leaving my lips and trailing kisses down my neck heading straight for my nipples, which are poking out through his shirt.

Before long we are tearing those clothes off and making love roughly on his bed. It’s incredible and I want these feelings to last forever. I never thought I would be able to have Chance back in my life and it makes everything seem surreal now that he is.

After we finish I lie back on the bed and cuddle into his side. It isn’t long before he falls asleep.

All I can do is stay awake wondering how long this will last.

Chance

“One day while my light is glowing, I’ll be in my castle golden, but until the gates are open I just wanna feel this moment…” Norma sings out in the shower. Feel This Moment by Pitbull plays softly from the iPod dock she took into the bathroom. The sun is shining in through my window, casting a bright haze around the room. I feel high on life for the first time since the last time Norma was in my life. Like I could do anything and be anybody.

I honestly freaking love it.

“She read books, especially about red rooms and tie ups. I got her hooked, cause she seen me in a suit with a red tie tied up…” she raps along to Pitbull. I chuckle at her thinking she could have played a better song. I’m not really into this type of music. Give me Machine Head or Disturbed any day. I only know songs like this one and Maroon 5 because Teagan plays them all the time. It’s rather annoying.

My mind starts to drift off to where Norma’s perfect naked body is in my shower covered in tiny drops of water. All glistening in the light and begging me to lick them off. My cock starts to harden in my boxers and my hand has a mind of its own. I’ve never had so much sex in my life but with the magnificent creature I have in my bathroom right now, it’s hard to stay soft.

As my hand starts to pump up and down my length, I kind of feel like a pervert but it doesn’t stop me. I get lost in what I’m doing until a warm wet tongue touches the tip of my cock. My eyes burst open and I take in Norma Jean on her knees completely naked next to my bed. Her head is level with my cock and all I really want for the rest of my life is for her to suck me into her mouth.

Which she does right after I move my hand in shock.

“Oh my god. Norma…you really don’t have to do that.” I say, my back arching off the bed as her hot little mouth pumps slowly along the hardness.

There’s a loud pop as she raises her head to look up at me. “I know. But I really couldn’t help myself.” She smirks, the little vixen.

She lowers her lips back over me and her tongue comes out again to swirl around. I groan really loud wanting the torture to go on and on. All damn day long. She envelops me again with her mouth and I swear I see stars when my cock hits the back of her throat. “Jesus fuck.” I moan out, my hands fisting into her wet hair.

Her eyes catch mine and she winks. Seriously she is a vixen. I can’t take it anymore and pull out of her mouth spraying semen all over my sheets. When I’m done I pull her face up to mine and give her a deep lingering kiss. “Amazing right?” she asks smiling and biting her lip.

“Yeah…I think I died.” Which is true in some ways. The French do call the orgasm the “little death”.

She laughs hard before getting up off the floor and heading back into the bathroom, her sweet ass swaying with each step. Jesus she is so sexy. I can’t be this lucky.

I get my lazy ass up and pull the sheets off my bed and toss them into the hamper I have stashed in my closet. I pull my boxers off and head into the bathroom, turning on the shower. “What do you want to do today?” I inquire stepping under the hot spray.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s not like I really know what to do around here.” She shrugs her shoulders running her eyeliner pencil across her eyelid.

“I do realize I kidnapped you, but what about school?” I question soaping up my hair.

“I have a leave of absence. I turned in a letter of intent to the Dean the day after Grammy died. He approved it.” I peek out of the curtain and find her sitting on the toilet in just a towel with full makeup.

“That’s convenient. I don’t have class till tomorrow so I’m all yours.” I turn the shower off and step out accepting the towel Norma holds out for me.

She moves away from the toilet and stands in front of me after I’m dry. “What is your major anyway?” she asks placing her arms around my neck, her hands sliding through my damp hair.

“Accounting. Sounds boring right?” I grin placing a kiss on her nose.

She giggles, “You were always stupidly good at math. I’m honestly not surprised in the least.” My hands wrap around her waist and pull her even closer.

“What’s your major? Let me guess!” I pull a finger up to my chin and tap like I’m actually thinking about it. “Zoology!” I mock exclaim placing my hand back on her hip.

She lightly smacks my chest grinning wide. “Nope. Education.” She giggles again at my shocked expression.

“I thought it would be something to do with Zoos so you could work with Reptiles and Spiders.” She of course rolls her eyes at me.

“That’s not very practical since there is like only one Zoo in Arkansas and that’s in Little Rock. I don’t want to be that far away from my mom. I love kids and I want to teach kindergarten. I can thank Macy for that. She is fun at this age.” She kisses my cheek before stepping out of my arms.

“There’s nothing wrong with that, smalls. Be what you want to be.” I smile at her before moving into the bedroom to get dressed.

*****

“So you’re telling me you have never been skating? Like at all?” I ask Norma who eyes the skates I got for her at the front desk of the skating rink.

“No. Shoes with wheels freak me out. You seriously like to do this?” she questions eyeing me with caution.

I nod my head before sitting down beside her. “It’s fun. I used to be really good, but I haven’t skated in years. After everyone else our age got over it, I didn’t. I even had my own pair. They were styled like converses but of course they had wheels.”

“You are like really excited for this aren’t you?” she asks raising one eyebrow.

“Yeah, skating is totally freeing. The way you can move around the rink weaving in and out of people. The way your hair flys in the breeze.” Norma looks at me like I have lost my mind, but I don’t care. “I don’t know, it was really fun. It was something I was really good at and I enjoyed doing.”

“No I get it. Kind of like my snakes and spiders. Not something everyone does but still something you enjoy that no one else understands.” She grins then, pulling on her skates.

“So you’re going to go out there with me?” I start to get excited. I thought she was going to turn me down.

“Yeah. I got you to hold Rydstorm even though you were scared. Why can’t I do something that scares me for you?” I feel my heart lighten at her words. She truly surprises me sometimes.

I quickly kiss her on the cheek before pulling her up. We slowly skate across the carpet to the opening of the rink. I take her hand in mine and tug her out on the shiny wood floor with me. She looks terrified but since there aren’t but two other people in the rink, she has nothing to worry about. Besides I would never let her fall.

“We will take it slowly, don’t worry. I won’t let you go till you have it down.” I smile encouragingly at her starting to skate backwards holding on to both of her hands.

“You promise?” the terror starts to pass slowly as we gently move around the rink.

“Promise.” I lift her hand up to my lips. I haven’t done this in a while but I still have the hang of it, moving easily backwards.

“You’re really good at this.” She says like she thought I was pulling her leg.

“I told you smalls.” I start moving faster and let go of one of her hands moving to skate forwards. Her legs move easily with mine and I don’t think she has anything to worry about. “You ready to go on your own?” I ask gently.

She looks terrified again for a second before it morphs into determination. “Yes. I’m ready.”

I grin and let go of her hand. I skate ahead of her letting my speed pick up. I love Norma but I want to go fast and feel free for the first time in years. God how I have missed this. After a while I peek back behind me and Norma has a soft smile on her face while she watches me. I start to smile back but she stumbles and falls over to her hands before I can. “Norma!”

I race over to her and pick her up gently. She is shaking and I think she has hurt herself. “I’m okay, Chance.” Her voice breathless with laughter.

“What so funny?” I question confused.

“I was so engrossed in you, I lost my footing. God I have it bad.” She turns her head away from me as her cheeks turn pink.

I place my fingers on her chin and turn her face back to mine. “Good. I have it so fucking bad for you, I can’t think straight.” We both grin like idiots and climb back up to our skates. “Ready for some more?” I wink.

“Yes!” she yells racing ahead of me.

When Norma starts to get bored, I sit her down at a wooden bench in the food part of the rink. I order her some popcorn, nachos, and jelly beans. She was always a really weird eater. I order some nachos for myself and head back to our table.

“I still can’t believe that you eat all this shit together. I thought you would have grown out of that.” I shake my head at her as she digs into her food.

“My dad is almost forty and he stills eats like this. I believe I’m stuck with it for life.” She pops in a jelly bean followed by a chip covered in cheese and topped with a jalapeno.

“I don’t see how you can’t have heart burn after you eat all that. Or the fact you don’t weigh three hundred pounds. I’m male and I can’t even eat all that you do.” I pop my own chip in sans jalapeno.

“It’s a gift.” She grins. “No, but really, I have a high metabolism. As for the weird order it’s just genetics. I like the way they all taste together. The weirder the better.

“Whatever floats your boat, smalls.” I cross my feet under the table and feel one of her feet land in my lap.

“It floats my boat just fine, big foot.” Her toes curl on top of my dick making it twitch.

“Norma. Stop.” I plead looking around to see if anyone is paying attention to us.

She opens her mouth to reply but her phone alerts to a text message. She pulls it out of her bag and her hand slides over the touch screen. Before long all the color drains from her face. I grab the phone out of her hand without even thinking.

Creed: You can go hide away with Chance all you want but I’ll find you. Besides, you’ll need more than him to protect you, honey.

I guess no matter what we do to get away from it all, he stills finds a way to ruin it.

Chapter 15

Creed

I know you probably have your opinions about me already. I’m sure they aren’t good, but I feel the need to clear a few things up with you.

First I only found out I was Macy’s father the day I kidnapped her. It was the only way I could think of to get back at Chance and Norma. I had no intentions of hurting her. I might have questionable morals but hurting a kid is something I would never do. Let alone my own kid.

Second, I did not rape Cassie. I have enough women dropping at me feet, I don’t need to force them to have sex with me. I think she has this fucked up way of trying to save herself some reputation. All that bullshit about her not having sex with anyone around the time she fucked me, is some of the craziest stuff I have ever heard. I know for a fact she had sex with one of my buddies at the same party she hooked up with me. How do I know that? I walked in on them, duh.

I never really spent any time around Macy so I didn’t see that she looks so much like me. You could take a picture of her as a baby, hold it up next to one of mine and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. That’s how I pieced it together. My mom was so drunk that day, but she asked why she was seeing a little “me” walking around. Things kind of clicked after that.

I already played the part of the bad guy, so why not throw me under the bus. In some sick way I think Cassie was trying to protect her brother from finding out she is a complete whore. Still is in fact, but that’s neither here or there.

Third, I didn’t kill Norma’s grandmother. The whole town of Duke knows she is the secret keeper and I went to her house to find some shit out. When I got there, she was already dead. I knew the police were looking for me in connection to Macy’s disappearance so I couldn’t risk just giving them a ring. So I called Norma. Yeah I got totally pissed when Chance answered and I acted like a dumb ass. I shouldn’t have been flipping that lighter where he could hear me. Now everyone thinks I killed Norma’s grandmother. Something I never wanted to be called is a murderer. Unless it was deserved. Now I have the headlines screaming this right above my name. It leaves me so unbelievably pissed off. I honestly want to kill someone.

I only showed up at that old ladies house to find out what in the hell happened to my mom. She isn’t missing or anything but I can remember a time when my mom loved life. She would get up every day, put on makeup, tell me she loved me, and go to work. I know my dad passed, and that he was a sorry son of a bitch. I was old enough to remember him. But what’s wrong with my mother is more than that. Something so fucked up happened to her, she won’t quit drinking and doing drugs. I’ve sent her to rehab, hell the woman has even had her custody of me taken away. Nothing will change her. Not one damn thing.

I used to let it get to me, but now I’m I just checking to make sure her dead body isn’t rotting on the bathroom floor. I think it would be a relief to both of us, if I found that one day. Though I think God is punishing her for something, and that’s the only reason she hasn’t overdosed.

So yeah that’s what I was doing there that night. Since she was long gone by the time I got there, I never did find out what my mother is hiding. Maybe she truly did kill my dad like most people think. That is one day I never want to relive.

I came home from school and there he was lying dead on his bedroom floor. There was a quarter sized bullet hole in the middle of his head. No gun in sight. They have yet to find the murder weapon to this day.

I could believe she killed him. He ruined her life, slowly but surely. First she popped me out at a young age, and her parents forced her to marry him. So there wasn’t any love between them, not that there ever was. Then he started to beat her every single day. She learned to hide it with makeup and excuses but everyone knows what was really happening to her. Not that anyone tried to do anything about it.

I think around the time that he died, it got so bad he wouldn’t even let her leave the house. He was always accusing her of cheating on him. Not that I see why it mattered, he was screwing anything he could. My dad and Chance’s used to hit up every bar they could find for a little piece of ass. I had to tag along some times. So yeah I knew Mr. Duncan was cheating way before Chance did. Maybe I should have said something, but why ruin his life like that? He was my best friend. Does that make me a bad person? Probably.

Fourth and final. I love Norma Jean Davis more than life itself. You can believe me or think I’m lying I don’t really care. It’s the truth and probably the most honest thing I have ever done. My love might not be pure like Chance’s. I did things I’m not proud of, but she’s mine. I don’t know how she could love a man like Chance. One who made fun of her every day for months, one who it took years to figure out the beauty of that girl.

I’ve known since I was five, what kind of wonderful she is. There was this dog who had gotten run over and I found her one afternoon sitting by it crying her eyes out. I never said anything to her but I watched as she sat with that dog until it took its last breath and then she buried it in a shallow grave in the woods. I couldn’t help thinking what a kind person she was.

So I watched her from that moment on. Yeah I should have stood up for her when Chance picked on her, but it’s like this. I was 12 and only worried about popularity. Chance was a big shot and if you didn’t follow him then you were nothing. At home I was nothing, I wasn’t about to become that at school too. Though I found it so courageous that she never did anything to him. Well not until high school graduation day. I was as surprised as Chance about what she had planned. Though I knew it was all a farce. She believed me that day when I told her Chance was cheating.

Which between you and I, is something that man would never do. I have to say that Chance is a completely different person than the one I blindly followed all those years ago.

That is why I was so pissed the day he asked her out. I wanted to be that. The one she said yes to. The one she is in love with now. So I did what I do best. I fucked it all up and I’m not sorry for that. I love everything that girl represents and I will until my last dying breath.

I know you’re reading this and rolling your eyes. I don’t care. Yeah I hit her, I made her have sex with me in public, and I even made her sell drugs. Oh she didn’t tell you that? Little tramp. I had her running drugs for me through her dorm. She wasn’t happy about it, don’t get me wrong, but I had to have something over her head. Something she couldn’t just leave me for. I don’t feel bad for that.

Though I feel bad for all the shit I put her through. I honestly guess I have my father’s blood running through my veins. I felt like I couldn’t trust anything that came out of her mouth because I knew she wasn’t in love with me. Not like she loved Chance. He was her entire world and I couldn’t get over my anger about it. I wanted to smash her face in and his. Chance doesn’t deserve the goodness that is Norma Jean.

And Chance doesn’t deserve to be breathing simply for the fact that he has touched what is mine. I won’t let that go so easily. He couldn’t truly hold on to her anyway. I mean I took her out from right under his nose, and I don’t feel bad about it at all.

Maybe I am a bad person and maybe she doesn’t deserve either of us, but I don’t care. I cheated on her yeah, but I couldn’t get over the fact that she didn’t want to have sex with me. I only let her go because they say if you set them free……. I had every hope she would return to me. But she didn’t. She went and fucked that asshole in my bed. That won’t go unpunished and both of them are lucky if I let them walk out of this alive.

To say I’m pissed is an understatement. I’m out for blood, but only their blood. No one else will get hurt in all this but those two. They think they are so clever. Well Chance does. Norma knows I can find her. She knows me better than anyone else. Which is also something I love about her. She gets me when no one else ever has.

Do you really think I wouldn’t know where my former best friend and Norma’s ex-boyfriend lived? Chance is honestly the dumbest person if he thinks that. Yeah I know all about little Declan Sage. Just like the rest of us, he has daddy issues. I think that’s why their little posse was formed. Not because they all have really fucked up love lives, but because they all have issues with their fathers. Chance more so than the others.

I also know about little Marcus Sage. Teagan Harper. Caden Harper. I know where every one of the above persons are located at any given second. How do you ask? Because I have several good friends following them right now. I also have one following Chance and Norma and I know they are at the skating rink. Which is the lamest date I have ever heard of. I think Chance is confused about his sexuality.

All I have to do is sit and wait for the perfect moment. One moment when they have no idea. I’m going to let them settle in to a comfortable little lie. I’m going to wait until they don’t see it coming. They will be sitting there thinking they are safe and bam! I’ll come and take it all away.

I can’t wait to get my girl alone for punishment. I have the perfect place picked out. Neither one of them will see it coming. I also can’t wait for Chance to come looking for us…and find us. He’ll wish he never touched what is mine. They both will regret their relationship until their last dying breaths.

So yeah waiting will be hard, but it will be so worth it. My misery will be over and I won’t have to worry about what Norma Jean is up to. Something I don’t think I have ever gotten rid of. This worry and the need to know what she is doing.

The girl is a plague.

Chapter 16

5 weeks later

Norma

“I love you, smalls.” Chance whispers in my ear before kissing me on the lips softly but deeply. I sigh and roll over watching him walk out the door. What can I say? I hate to see him leave but I love to watch him walk away.

He wanted to stay here with me but he can’t afford to miss any more classes. At least that’s something I don’t have to worry about. I have never really liked school and college is killer. Though to save myself from more time with Creed, I threw myself into my studies. I don’t look forward to going back.

I doze off after Chance leaves and I dream of twisted red sheets and warm hands sliding over my body. Chance’s face appears over my mine and I smile in my dream. Even asleep I can’t get enough of him. I wonder if I ever will. God I hope not.

I hear the door slam and finally get out of bed. No need to stay in bed all day just because I have nothing else to do. There is a DVR downstairs with my name on it. I think I shall spend the day with Toby Cavanagh. My other love.

I slip on some comfortable pants and one of Chance’s shirts. It is of course way to big and falls down to my knees but I can’t bring myself to care. It smells like him and that is all that matters.

I pop some pop-tarts into the toaster and pull out a small plate to place them on. After they are done I make my way into the living room picking the remote up off the coffee table. I switch the TV on and scroll through the list of recorded shows finding Pretty Little Liars. I’m just getting into it when all hell breaks loose.

“Hello Norma Jean.” comes Creed’s rough voice. I scream like a little girl, my plate flying through the air.

I feel all the color drain out of my face. I stand up from the couch on shaky legs. I take in his blond hair which is styled like every other time I have seen him. His brown eyes are dull and lifeless like usual as well. The Creed I met at the beginning of college is no longer around. Oh how I wish he would come back and leave this sociopath behind. “How did you find me?” I whisper.

He chuckles coming around the couch to stand too close to me. “Chance thinks he is so smart.” He trails a finger down my cheek and I flinch. I’m used to being scared around Creed but this is different. I swear my life is flashing before my eyes. “Do you really not know me at all? I would find out where the ex-boyfriend of the girl I loved lived. I would know everything about him, Norma. I always knew one day you would run from me and end up here. It surprises me how little you and Chance know about me.” He goes on.

I shake my head backing away from him. This can’t be happening right now. This isn’t real. I’m upstairs in Chance’s bed. Asleep, dreaming. That is where I have to be. “Why are you doing this?” I scream finding my panic and natural instincts. If I just distract him long enough someone will come home. “Why did you kill my Grammy?” I ask with venom.

He chuckles again taking another step towards me. “I didn’t kill her, Norma. The only people I want dead are you and Chance. She was dead long before I got there. I just set the fire so it wouldn’t be days before someone found her.” A lock my hair twists around his index finger making me cringe. “I did that for you.”

I smack his hand away from my hair backing up even more. “I don’t believe you. You killed her to get back at me for sleeping with Chance, in your bed.” I sneer at him. “Which in all honestly I didn’t even realize was your bed because I was so turned on by Chance I didn’t even notice.”

His hand flies out slapping me in the face. “Shut up you whore!” smack, smack, kick to my ribs. “Don’t talk about that! You are mine and I have no desire to hear about another man!” Punch to my head before he grabs my wrists pulling my head up to see his face. “I’m going to take you away from here. We are going somewhere special and before long Chance will join us. Then you can both die together. I shouldn’t ever have believed you could be faithful to me.”

My right eye is swollen and I think he cracked a rib but I look up at him with defiance. “You’re the one who fucked another girl. Chance and I have been nothing but faithful to whoever we have been with.” I spit blood out of my mouth down at his feet. If I’m going to die I might as well make it worth his while.

“Is that how you truly think, Norma Jean?” he smooth’s matted hair out of my face before going on. “You two could only ever think about each other. Even when you were with me, you couldn’t forget him. You wouldn’t let yourself love me, because you refused to let your love for him go. The same goes for him. So no Norma, you have been unfaithful the entire time we were together.”

“I loved you Creed. In the very beginning I loved you. Then you started hitting me and making me sell drugs, how could I love a man like that?” Something heavy hits me in the temple and I become unconscious.

*****

I become aware very slowly. My right eye won’t open at all and the left one is blurry. My head is pounding, and I feel so confused. Shouldn’t I be at Chance’s curled up on the couch watching TV?

Then it hits me. Creed. Why does all the bad shit in my life end with Creed? Sometimes I wonder if I did something truly horrible to him in a past life and this is all some twisted revenge. Karma is a bitch after all. I hear she even comes after you long after the bad has happened. It seems I have no idea what the hell I did to deserve this.

“Good you’re awake. I want to have a chat before I call your lover out here.” He smirks, before pacing in front of me.

I take in my surroundings and nearly faint. I’m lying beside a cliff. A very deep cliff. I am seriously terrified of heights. I start to sit up and scoot away from said cliff but Creed places a booted foot on my shoulder. “Please.” I beg wanting far away from the damn bottom of that cliff.

“I forgot you are scared of heights. That is good then! Dying by something you truly fear, since you don’t truly fear me.” He walks back and forth waving his hands around like he is having a conversation. With himself. I guess he is really coo coo for cocoa puffs.

I also realize he has a gun in his left hand. I have no idea what kind or model or any of that shit. I just know that thing will blow a hole in me and hurt like hell. Maybe even kill me.

No thank you.

Creed hasn’t tied me up or anything which seems really dumb. Or maybe not. The only way I can truly go is down and we have already discussed why that is not happening. “Creed please don’t do this. We can work it out. Please just let’s leave and go home!” I can’t even believe that I’m begging him for something. But it’s all fight or flight. Or in my case begging.

“Do you really think I would fall for that?” he looks at me with shock written all over his face. “I’ve come to the conclusion you will never love me. Never be with me willingly. A shame really, I think we had a wonderful relationship. If only you had loved me instead of that prick.”

Now it’s my turn to look shocked. He just said that didn’t he? “Creed. I don’t know what twisted fucked up place you live, but we didn’t have a wonderful relationship. I’m fucking terrified of you and you hit me every day. Made me sell drugs for you! Made me have sex with you in public!” my fear has been replaced by anger. Which probably isn’t a good idea.

“Those were things to keep you in check! You were wild, always off dancing with that stupid friend of yours! You would have left me so I made you sell drugs to keep you close! I fucked you in front of my friends so they would know you are mine!” He pulls me up to my feet shoving the gun to my good temple. “You were ungrateful for everything I ever did for you!”

“What did you do that was so fucking good?” I scream my face right in his. “You broke up Chance and me. We were the ones who had a wonderful relationship. You then chose to let me live in fear! You ruined my fucking life Creed! You could never have made it better!” My hands are clinched in his shirt and I think I might be getting through to him but then I take it too far. “I fucking hate you! I will always hate you after everything you have done to me!”

Boom.

It’s the only sound out here in the wilderness. At first I think it’s a hunter or something shooting a deer but the pain shooting through my leg is a clear sign of what really happened. I look down at my leg and cringe. There’s a perfect hole in my thigh and blood pools out in waves. I think he hit an artery or something. There’s an important artery in the thigh right? I’m not just crazy? “You actually fucking shot me.” I say surprising us both. I don’t even remember him lowering the gun!

“Shit.” He gasps. Creed lets me go and I fall to the ground suddenly empty of energy. He also drops the gun.

I pick it up faster than he can blink firing off a round in his chest. He drops down beside me puffing for air. It doesn’t take him long to die. Only a few seconds and I feel like complete and total shit. I never thought I would be the kind of person to kill someone. I wasn’t even aiming for his chest. I just wanted to wound him so he would be defenseless.

Silent tears fall down my cheeks. I may have actually hated Creed but I didn’t want him to die. I know in some deep twisted way he loved me. No one should be killed by the person they love. I’m going to hell and I deserve it.

I tip my head to look down my leg and all the blood. He definitely hit something important. There is so much blood. God I’m going to die. I don’t want to die. I start freaking out wondering if Heaven and Hell are real or not. The tears fall faster.

Chance appears in my head and I calm a little. Black appears around my vision and I shut my eyes picturing Chance’s handsome face. I want to see him when I go. Feel his hands and the way they make me crazy. His smile lights up my whole entire life. He won’t smile for a while now.

I feel my life slowly slipping away. I’m barely breathing and I can’t seem to focus on anything, I know there are people I should be thinking of but my brain won’t work.

Then it’s too late because I’m gone.

Chance

My professor drones on and on. I honestly don’t even care what he is saying. Calculus is like second nature to me, I don’t need him explaining anything to me because I already understand. All I can think of is Norma Jean. I love the way she was naked and sleeping when I left her this morning. I want her like that for the rest of my life.

It’s funny how things have completely changed for me. Norma walks back into my life and I find a reason to start over. Be someone I want to be. I truly don’t think I was anyone until she was mine. I didn’t have a purpose in life or a way even. She shows up and it’s like it all clicks together. It’s more than a relief.

After class is dismissed, I call Norma’s cell phone. I want her to get ready so I can take her out for lunch in between my classes. When she doesn’t answer I panic a little. What could keep her from answering the phone?

Luckily I run into Teagan on the way off campus. “Was Norma home when you left this morning?”

Her full lips tip up in a smirk and her emerald eyes light up. “She was still in bed. I only left like thirty minutes ago, so she is probably still asleep. No need to panic.” she tells me reading the panic in my voice. “I think someone is wore out.” She winks before walking around me.

I chuckle, liking the idea. “Like you have any room to be talking about wearing someone out.” I wink back at her noting her pinked cheeks. That girl is horny…and loud. Something I wish I didn’t know about her.

“Shut up!” she exclaims walking quickly away from me. This has me full out laughing. Declan and Teagan stumped me when I first got to know them. Teagan is this little thing who is mostly immature and wild. Declan is all serious and brooding. You wouldn’t think they would work but it’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Besides Norma Jean.

I text Norma throughout the day but I never get a response. After one o’clock I know she can’t be in bed still. Even if I did wear her out, she would have gotten up by now for food. I tell myself I’m not going to panic but I feel it coming on. My foot taps the floor the entire time I’m in my accounting class. This is my favorite class but right now I can’t wait to get out of here.

I watch the clock tick and move centimeter by centimeter. When it seems the whole day has passed since I walked into the room we are dismissed. My feet barely hit the ground as I run to my truck. I throw my bag into the cab and start the ignition. I race out of the parking lot and through traffic on my way to the house.

Declan and Marcus are tossing the football around in the front yard. Declan misses his catch the second he realizes I’m alone. You can just tell he already knows what’s going on. The look on his face tells me she isn’t here.

“Call Teagan and Caden and make sure she didn’t go somewhere with them.” I yell out heading straight for the house. I have to make sure all her stuff is still here. If her stuff is gone I can breathe easier. I guess when it comes down to it, I don’t believe she wouldn’t just up and leave me. I wish it were different but I’m still hurting over that.

When I walk into my room and see her clothes from yesterday on the floor I drop to my knees. Please be with Caden or Teagan. Please. Don’t let that fucker have come into my house and taken her. I’ll never know what happened to her. He could get rid of the body where no one could find it. I believe he is that good and that crazy.

I stand up and clinch my shaking fists when I hear someone coming up the stairs towards my room. Declan appears in the doorway looking down right freaked out. “Caden said he hasn’t been home all day so she isn’t with him.” He pauses looking unsure. “Teagan was the last one to leave. She said she forgot to lock the door before she left. She is really upset about it. Though it was locked when I left.” He looks around seeing Norma’s stuff still here.

“Creed would have locked the door. Just to throw you off. It’s not Teagan’s fault. It just made it easier for him to get to her. He would have broken in regardless.” I squeeze my eyes shut trying to block out all the images running through my head. I don’t know where she is. I don’t know what Creed is doing to her. “She would have heard it coming that way. She would have had a chance to get away.”

Declan looks a little angry at me before he visibly relaxes. “Teagan didn’t mean to leave the door unlocked. I’ll let it slip what you’re trying to do. I know you’re freaked out and panicking. But don’t go down there laying the fault at Teagan’s feet.”

I know he is right but I still want to rant and scream. I want to punch something and kick down a door. Anything to get rid of this panic and not knowing what’s going on. “Creed will call me. He will want to gloat about getting her. I just have to wait for that call.”

I look into Declan’s brown eyes and I see what he isn’t saying. “If she has been with him most of the day, then it’s probably already too late.”

It can’t be too late. How the hell would I go on without her?

*****

“What do you mean you can’t find her?” Elizabeth screams in my ear over the phone. I pull it away from my face while she continues to scream. Not all of it nice. “You were supposed to protect her! How the hell did he get to her?”

“I don’t know! Okay! I don’t know!” I yell back at her. I’m freaking out enough as it is without her making it worse. “We have to wait 24 hours to report her missing. The cops won’t do much until then.”

“Don’t you yell at me boy! I will call your mother!” her piercing voice even makes Caden and Declan cringe and they are on the other side of the room.

Before I can reply Teagan grabs the phone out of my hand. “Look Ms. Elizabeth, we are all worried about her, but you yelling at Chance is not going to find her any sooner.”

Teagan places the phone back in my hand and walks over to Declan and snuggles into his arms. My arms feel a pang for the little body they are missing. “She’s right Chance. I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault. I knew that Creed was a freak since he was a little kid. His daddy was as bad as they come.”

I stare off into space not replying. I don’t honestly think it has anything to do with who his daddy is. I’m a perfect example. My dad tried to make me exactly like him and I was when I was a child, but I grew up and became a decent man. Creed didn’t. He took what he learned from his father and made it the way he lived. Never seeing it wasn’t a good thing.

“I’m going to call Norma’s father. After that I’m heading up there and talking to the police. I will be damned if they aren’t going to do anything before 24 hours.” We say goodbye and she hangs up.

“Well I guess we know where Norma gets her feistiness from.” Caden jokes. I glare at him and start pacing the living room floor again.

“Caden just be quiet. You have no idea when to be quiet.” Teagan scolds him.

There’s a knock on the door then and we all look towards the door. I realize that we all live here, but most of the time I still let Declan answer the door. So does everyone else. As he gets up, I start fidgeting with my hands hoping it’s the police or something saying they have Norma and she is fine.

“Grace?” Declan says confused.

“Umm can I speak to Caden?” she asks walking into the room after Declan pulls the door open enough for her to enter.

Caden looks angry, which is the normal expression for him whenever the tall leggy blond enters the same room as him. “Not now Grace, Chance’s girlfriend is missing.” He waves her off and Grace looks upset.

“This is really important. I swear.” she pleads to the back of his head.

Caden sighs and gets up off the couch. He passes her without a glance and heads up the stairs. Grace slowly follows never once looking back at us.

“I don’t even want to know.” Teagan says pretending that didn’t just happen.

I roll it off my shoulders and start pacing again. The waiting game is something I never want to do again. It is literally killing me that I don’t know where she is or if she is okay. She has to be okay, I won’t believe anything else. My phone starts ringing and I nearly jump out of my skin. “Hello?” I nearly yell without looking at the screen to see who it is.

“Chance. I guess while I’ve been staying at my moms, Creed stole my truck. I’m sorry I didn’t find out sooner. I’m coming up with Aunt Elizabeth so get out looking for my car. He couldn’t have taken her far.” I hear wind blowing around him like he’s in a vehicle with the window down.

“How do you know he stole it?” I question scratching the back of my neck.

“He left me a fucking note. The crazy bastard is so dead when I get my hands on him!” he bellows out frustrated.

“What did it say?” I ask impatient.

“Hey Marley. I’m off to kill your cousin and I need your truck. I know where Chance lives and you should find me before I find them.” I can’t tell if that’s really what it said or if he is just being sarcastic.

“He wrote that?” I sit down on the coffee table and push my fingers into my hair.

“Yeah. Exactly that. I always knew that bastard was crazy.” I quickly get off the phone with him after. I pull my truck keys out of my jean pocket and head for the door.

“Wait!” Declan exclaims making me stop in my tracks. “What did he say?” I turn back to look at him feeling more impatient than ever before.

“Creed stole his truck and came this way. I know what it looks like. I’m going to drive around and see if I can find them.” I turn back around taking another step towards the door.

“What kind of truck and we will look too.” I glare at him but it doesn’t seem to faze him. “You could use the help and I don’t really want to sit here waiting for something to happen.”

Damn he’s right. I rattle off the make and model of the truck. Before I leave I hear Declan say something about getting Caden and Grace to help look too. I don’t really care at this point. I just want to get out and find Norma Jean.

I climb into my truck feeling completely lost. I don’t even know where to start. They could be anywhere, hell he has had all day to get her somewhere and hurt her.

I won’t think like that though. I have to keep strong and clear headed for smalls.

Chapter 17

Norma

I’m floating on nothing. Like literally floating on nothing. Everything is black and cold. I can’t touch anything or feel anything but I’m not falling, just floating. Its freaks me out. Where are the fiery gates of Hell? Or the pearly gates of Heaven? Maybe there really isn’t a Heaven and Hell. Maybe our souls just exist in limbo until the end of forever. Damn that’s a really long time.

I feel like I’ve been this way forever. Like I can’t remember a time I was alive. I wonder have long I have been dead. I don’t like that limbo is the way I have to spend eternity. I would have loved to be a ghost. Then I could have followed Chance around until the end of his hopefully long life. I would have seen him get married and have children. I could have seen him as a loving and dutiful husband. Something I will never get to experience now.

Tears fall down my cheeks and fall off into the deep emptiness around me. I hope my mother doesn’t take it too hard. Losing my Grammy and me in the same year might be too much though.

How I wish I could have foreseen all of this happening. The evil lurking behind Creed’s eyes wasn’t something I searched for. I never expected to see it there. Somehow the good boy turned out to be the bad boy. And the bad boy turned out to be really good.

I hope that Macy doesn’t miss me too much. I know I haven’t been around all that often lately but I love that little girl. She made me happy when nothing else could even make me smile. She deserves all the joy in the world. I pray that she meets a guy like her uncle. Not like her father. I wouldn’t wish my experiences with Creed on anyone.

Will I spend an eternity here living through my mistakes over and over again? Will I have to deal with all the pain of stuff I never got to do? I never had kids. I wanted 4. An entire house full of them running around. Little auburn haired boys with hazel eyes. My little Chance’s.

It’s funny how I didn’t want them when I first started dating Chance. Now that I know he was my forever, I can’t stop thinking about how much I wanted them.

Life seems to always be playing some sick joke on me. My eternal happiness is right at my finger tips and then it’s gone. Over and over again. Maybe it’s good I didn’t bring babies into the world. I wouldn’t want to pass my luck on to them.

When I feel something touch my wrist, it’s safe to say I freak the hell out. I look around my prison of nothing but darkness though it’s useless. I can’t see a thing. Something that feels close to arms go under my head and legs pulling me up. Am I finally being moved from limbo? Will I go to heaven or hell? Will I be reborn?

Then I am moving. I still can’t see a thing but it feels like something is walking with me in its arms. I am finally being set free.

*****

When I open my eyes there is so much light. It blinds me and I have to blink several times before I can even keep them open. “Where am I?” I ask on a croak.

A shadow stops in front of my face blocking out the light. I can’t make out any features but it seems to be holding something. “You’re safe sweetie.” says a nice grandmotherly voice.

“Grammy? Am I in heaven?” I feel tears start to fall down my face but I can’t muster the energy to raise my arms and wipe away the tears.

“No dear. Just a nurse at the hospital.” She pats my arm before moving away. The lights are back on full force causing me to wince.

“Huh?” I ask turning my head the way I think she moved in.

She walks back towards me, blocking out the light again. I sigh in relief. “You were shot in the leg. The bullet nicked your femoral artery. You would have bled out but you had a blood clot and it saved your life. Well that and the nice hunter who found you.” She pats my shoulder this time and moves away from me again.

I’m fucking alive! Are you kidding me right now? Somewhere, somehow I’m not dead. Maybe my luck decided to change. Though something doesn’t seem right. Where is everybody? Chance. My mom. Dad. Marley. Hell even Declan, Teagan, and Caden. “Where are my family?”

“We have been waiting for you to wake up to tell us that. There are no missing person’s reports for a woman your age and you didn’t have any identification on your persons,” says a male voice.

“My name is Norma Jean Davis. I’m 22 and I’m from Duke, Arkansas. My mother’s name is Elizabeth and I need to call her. She is probably freaking out right now.” I stammer out. I can’t believe I’m alive. I also can’t believe no one knows where the hell I am. Why didn’t they file a missing persons report?

“Alright sweetie, calm down. Give me any numbers I need to call and we will get everyone here.” I prattle the number for mom and Chance. “Listen to the doctor now sweetie. Your family will be here soon.”

“Now Ms. Davis, the police are here to talk to you. There was a male with you. He didn’t make it. They would like to know what happened out there.” I look up at him and nod my head. I don’t really want to see the police but I will do whatever they want.

An older gentleman in a suit walks into the room. His badge flashes in the light and he has an easy smile on his face. “Hello Ms. Davis. I’m Detective James and I have been assigned to your case.” I nod and he keeps talking. “Now I was listening outside the room and I ran your name through and there does seem to be some activity.”

I’m sure I looked really confused. I haven’t even been pulled over for speeding. What could my record say? Do they have tapes of me selling drugs for Creed? Oh my god I’m going to jail for the rest of my life! The machine that is hooked up to my heart starts going crazy and my head starts to feel dizzy.

“Calm down Ms. Davis. I only meant that your friend Chance Duncan tried to file a missing persons on you earlier today. Since you hadn’t been missing for 24 hours they had to wait but it did say to keep a look out for a woman matching your description.” He pauses looking through a notepad I’m sure he pulled out of his jacket. “Creed Donovan is wanted in the connection of kidnapping a Macy Duncan and setting fire to a Mrs. Chambers house. And the theft of a Mr. Marley Chambers vehicle. Is that the male we found with you? He didn’t have any identification either.” He looks up at me hopeful.

“Yes that was Creed Donovan. He is my ex-boyfriend. We broke up weeks ago. I hooked up with my old boyfriend, Chance Duncan and Creed wasn’t happy. He has been stalking me the whole time. He kidnapped Macy because it hurt Chance and I at the same time. I guess he set my Grammys house on fire just to hurt me. It scared her so bad she had a heart attack.“

“Mrs. Chambers did have a heart attack but it says here that she was dead for at least 8 hours. Mr. Donovan was spotted in Arkadelphia at the time of her death so there is no way he was the cause of her death.” He looks up at me I guess expecting me to go on.

How do you go on from that revelation? He had nothing to do with it. Somehow shooting him feels wrong and completely disgusting. I thought he killed Grammy and in my head it was like a life for a life. I know it wouldn’t bring Grammy back but at least I would have gotten revenge. Now his death at my hands was pointless. I really didn’t mean to kill him but I was still trying to make it seem better in my head.

“I was staying at Chance’s house because Chance thought Creed didn’t know where he lived. We thought I would be safe there but Creed knew all along where Chance was living. He waited until everyone in the house went to school and came in through the front door. I’m not sure if it was locked or not because I didn’t hear him enter. He hit and kicked me a few times until I passed out. He took me out there to that cliff.” I pause, tears start to flow. “He said some things to make me really upset so I said some things back to him. The gun was in his left hand it was pointed down. It went off and hit me in the leg. I fell to the ground and he dropped the gun. I didn’t even think I just picked it up and shot. I didn’t know it would hit his chest and he would die.” I sob out placing my head in my hands.

“Calm down Ms. Davis. Nurse Gladys will come back in here and kick my ass.” He places a card down on the blanket but I don’t look up at him. “I’ll get this filed but we ask that you don’t leave the county. There will be a full investigation and you will need to be available to answer any questions.” I hear him leave the room and I start to cry even harder.

I’m going to go to jail for killing Creed. Where’s the justice in that?

I fall back onto the pillows and curl into my sides. Apparently I have only been gone for hours instead of days. I wonder how that hunter found us. I know it’s not deer season, so I can’t imagine what he was hunting up there.

I may not have deserved the things that happened to me but neither did Creed. He was just a lost man who had trouble finding his way. It’s funny the difference between my two guys. One who beat the odds given to him and the other who let it drown him. I think I will always hurt for what I did to him. I should have pushed that gun over the cliff. Anything really but shoot him.

The nice older nurse, Gladys I think Detective James called her walks in then and stops in her tracks with a scowl on her face. “Why are you bawling like that sweetie?”

I shake my head as sobs start to rack my body. I can’t hold them in. I’m a terrible person. How could I have done this? What kind of person kills? I should have done anything I could have not to kill Creed. “I killed someone.” I stutter out to her.

Her face softens and she walks over and sits down on my bed and starts rubbing my back. “I understand. Well not exactly but I think it says a lot that you are crying about it. I would think you were a monster if you weren’t upset and guilty over it.” She smiles gently. “People sometimes have to do things to survive that doesn’t sit right with them. All they can do is learn to live with it.” She stands up and grabs my hand. “And you are going have to learn soon, that baby doesn’t need a messed up momma.” She winks before leaving the room again.

Excuse me?

Chance

My phone ringing from my hand wakes me up. I stayed out till one am looking for Marley’s truck in hopes of finding Creed and Norma. I look at the alarm clock and note I had been asleep for two hours. Two hours where Norma wasn’t safe. “Hello?” I say answering my phone to a number I don’t know.

“Mr. Chance Duncan?” comes an older ladies voice.

“Yes, who is this?” please don’t tell me you have Norma’s dead body. I just might die myself.

“This is Gladys, Ms. Norma Jean Davis asked me to give you a call and tell you she’s at the hospital. She has been through a lot but you can come and see her whenever you like.” To say I’m rendered speechless is an understatement.

“She’s alive?” I breathe.

“Yes sir. I’ll let her explain when you get here.” She says goodbye and the call disconnects.

I’m off my bed and running out of the room before you can say Thank Fuck. I stop at Caden’s door to tell him where I’m going so he can let everyone know in the morning. What I don’t expect is for him to be thrusting into his twin brother’s girlfriend. His face is thrown back in pure pleasure and Grace is dragging her nails down his back. Neither one notices me as I quickly close the door.

I don’t even have time to process that right now. I stop at Declan’s door knocking before I open. Teagan is curled up in his arms thankfully dressed. I don’t think I could handle seeing anyone else having sex tonight. “Dec.” I say softly startlingly him awake.

He shoots up in bed knocking Teagan to the side. “What? What’s wrong?” Teagan moans beside him and rolls over never waking up.

“Norma is at the hospital. I’m heading there now.” I turn to leave but he stops me.

“Wait we’ll go with you.” He shakes Teagan until the raven haired beauty opens one eye.

“No y’all go back to sleep. She isn’t dying or anything. At least I don’t think so. The nurse didn’t really give me and details.” This time I make it to the door before Declan speaks again.

“Call us and let us know how she is.” I nod and finally leave the room well almost.

“Chance, man you might want to put some clothes on.” Teagan chuckles.

When I arrive at the hospital my palms start to get sweaty and I can’t seem to catch my breath. Please let her be okay. I don’t care if there is anything serious wrong with her. Like missing a leg or going blind. I just want her to be alive and breathing. This world would be an ugly place without Norma Jean’s beauty.

“Hi, I’m looking for Norma Jean Davis.” I say to the kind older woman at the nurse’s desk.

“Mr. Duncan I presume?” I nod and she gets up from the desk. She motions me down the hallway and opens the door to room.

Inside sits my entire life.

“Norma had to have surgery on her leg so we have her on some pain meds that make her sleepy.” When I start to look worried she explains. “Norma was shot in the thigh and the bullet nicked her femoral artery. She would have bled to death if she didn’t have a blood clot. The doctors had to repair the damage so that was the cause for surgery. She is going to be just fine. A scar the only lasting effect.”

“Thanks.” I tell her nodding and walking into the room that holds Norma. She looks so small and broken lying in the bed. I don’t even think before I’m laying down beside her pulling her sleeping body into my own. She doesn’t seem to notice or care.

I lay there smoothing my hand over her hair and it doesn’t take me long to fall asleep. I feel at peace that she is okay and alive. Whatever tomorrow brings I can make it through with her by my side.

*****

“Chance.” Norma whispers in my ear. I smile cuddling closer to her warmth. God I love waking up next to her.

“Good morning.” I murmur nuzzling her cheek.

“Chance, wake up.” She chuckles swiping her fingers through my hair.

“I am awake. Let’s stay in bed all day.” If only we could stay in bed all day every day.

“Umm that would be okay if we were alone. My mom is kind of in the room.” That makes me open my eyes and take in my surroundings. The standard hospital bed is small and crowded with both our bodies lying on it. The sun shines in through the blinds, making the room brighter and it kind of hurts my eyes.

Elizabeth stands at the foot of the bed grinning like an idiot. “Good for you to finally open your eyes. I kind of thought we would have to get a doctor in here for you.”

“Mom. He’s tired. He did have a horrible day yesterday.” Norma stares pointedly at her mom and the older woman cringes.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry about yesterday Chance. I shouldn’t have yelled and threatened you like that.” She looks away from me wiping a stray tear.

“It’s okay. We were all scared and frustrated.” I shrug finally looking down at Norma. Her chestnut hair is all over the place but her violet eyes are bright and full of life. Her face is busted up but there’s nothing I can do about it now.

I kiss her softly and quickly thankful to have her in my arms again. Norma grins up at me and I feel my face return it. “I’m glad you’re okay, smalls. I was so fucking worried.”

Her face pales a little and I flinch. Tactful Duncan. Very tactful. “I was really scared myself. But it’s finally over.” She looks away from me a faraway look crossing her beautiful features.

“Where’s Creed? If you say it’s all over, he must be in jail?” I inquire pulling her face back towards mine with my hand.

She doesn’t meet my eyes when she replies. “No. I killed him.” Her little body becomes racked with sobs and I pull her closer into my arms. That is not what I expected her to say.

“It’s okay Norma. You did what you had too. We can get through it together.” I soothe my hands rubbing along her slender back.

She meets my eyes and a look of pure loss fills hers. “I want to believe that, I really do. I didn’t have to kill him though. When he shot me, he dropped the gun and I didn’t think before I picked it up and shot him in the chest. It didn’t take him long to die.”

I feel tears burn the back of my throat at what the woman in my arms had to do to survive. Also for the best friend I used to have and what he became. “If you hadn’t killed him, I would have. I wasn’t going to let him get away with threatening you like that. He continued to do everything he could to ruin your life. I just hate that you had to do it. You’re not a killer. That kind of burden can consume you.”

She nods burrowing her face in my chest, her tears soaking the cotton of my t-shirt. “The only thing that matters is that you’re alive Norma. That’s all that means anything to me. I couldn’t have faced losing your Grammy and you in the same year.” Elizabeth says from the same position at the end of the bed.

Norma peeks up at her mom and rises out of my arms. “I know mom. I kept thinking of what it would do to you if I didn’t ever come back home.” Elizabeth rushes over to Norma’s side and the woman embrace. I quietly get up from the bed and let them have a moment.

I step out into the hall nearly running over Caden who was about to enter the room. “Oh, I was about to go in and see how our girl was doing.” I look at him stone faced and confusion takes over his features. “What?”

Now that I know Norma isn’t in an immediate danger I have a second to process what I walked into last night. “Norma is safe and she is going to make a full recovery.” I tell him stepping away from the door. My back is to him when I say, “I don’t know about you when Jaden finds out you’re actually fucking his girlfriend. I know you’re in love with her, but to actually go behind your brothers back like that is seriously fucked up.”

I notice his hands clinching beside his waist and I hope to God he doesn’t start throwing punches in the hospital. “For one you don’t know a damn thing about Grace and me. Second if my brother would bother to take care of his own girlfriend maybe she wouldn’t have to come to me. Third stay out of my damn business. I don’t know how you found out but you better keep it to your fucking self.”

My face contorts into a sneer and I push a finger into his chest not realizing I had stepped closer to him. “If you weren’t fucking her in the middle of the night, I wouldn’t have walked in on you. I was coming to tell you where Norma was and that I was leaving.” I take a deep breath and step back a foot. “I also wouldn’t tell anyone because I’m your friend and I wouldn’t betray you like that.”

Caden’s face pales looking at something behind me. I turn to see a wide eyed Declan and a teary eyed Teagan. “I really don’t think this is the place for this conversation. Or maybe I should say there isn’t ever a time for this conversation.”

“Teagan…” Caden stammers walking towards her. She steps out of his reach and he cringes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

That perks the girl up and she slaps him across the face. “You don’t get to say that to me. I always wondered if you two were going behind Jaden’s back but I had hoped not. You have dug your own grave and now you will get buried in it.”

For once the outspoken male is speechless. “I think you should leave, Caden.” Declan says sternly. Caden only nods and heads towards the exit. We all watch him leave silently.

“Teagan, Norma is awake if you want to go in.” I tell her softly, feeling that Declan will want to have a word with me.

“Yeah okay.” She says kissing Declan on the cheek and walking into Norma’s room.

I peak at Declan and all I see is disappointment. I don’t know if it’s directed at me or Caden. “I don’t know what to say here.”

“There’s not much you can say. Caden brought this upon himself, not the other way around. He will have to face the fire one day. None of us will be the ones to tell Jaden. You don’t know him, Teagan doesn’t have it in her, and I frankly can’t stand to be around him anymore.” He sighs rubbing his forehead. “I don’t know how they got away with this for so long. Hell it’s been over a year and a half since Jaden started dating her. I don’t want to think about it right now, how is Norma?”

I walk over to the sitting area near Norma’s door. “She’s good. The artery in her thigh got nicked by a bullet but she had a blood clot so she didn’t bleed out. They had to do surgery to repair the artery, other than a scar she will make a full recovery.”

“What about Creed?” he questions sitting down next to me.

“Norma shot and killed him.”

Chapter 18

Norma

“Oh mom I’m in trouble.” I sob on to her shoulder. The first thought that popped in to my head when Gladys told me I was going to have a baby, was how the hell did that happen? Then it hit me. I stopped seeing Creed so I stopped taking my birth control. Then Chance and I got so caught up in our desires we forgot to use a condom several times.

“What do you mean? You have your whole life ahead of you now.” She pats and rubs my back trying to calm me down. It’s not working.

I decide to go with the safer news first. “I might get charged with killing Creed. There is going to be a full investigation and everything. What if I go to jail?”

She looks at me like I have lost my mind. “Why would you think there wouldn’t be an investigation? There is one for every death. Now, what with him stalking you and threatening you for weeks, I don’t think any charges will stick. Though I might be wrong. Stranger things have happened.”

“They are going to send me to prison. That is the way my luck goes.” I sob harder. I can’t have a baby in prison. I just can’t. What kind of example will that set? The kid would get made fun of more than I did.

“You don’t have bad luck. Life is just more intense for you. I do think you have had to learn to be strong and independent that way, but it was good for you. I believe that most of what has happened to you is because of fate. Other things were just chance.” She giggles at that. It makes me want to smile but I’m too freaked out over everything else. Like being pregnant.

“I have to tell you something else. And I need to hurry before Chance comes back.” Mom starts to look worried and I don’t blame her. I take a deep breath and just spit it out. “I’m pregnant.”

Mom looks like she might faint and I grab hold of her arms just in case. “It’s not Creed’s is it?” she asks so softly I almost don’t hear her.

“I don’t know how far along I am, so I don’t know. I used birth control with Creed but not with Chance. That’s stuff isn’t 100% so it’s 50/50 right now.” And I hate that I don’t know. Not that I wouldn’t love this kid no matter who the father is, I just don’t think Chance would like the idea of raising another man’s kid. Especially one who tried to kill me.

“We need to find out, like right now. You need to tell Chance and I want you to be sure at that point.” Mom gets up from the bed and picks the chart up off the end. She flips through several pages and looks up at me with her eyes narrowed. “I didn’t know you had a tattoo. What the hell does big foot mean? That’s not some kind of gang thing is it?”

I shake my head about to answer her when Teagan walks into the room. She looks fucking awful. I never thought I would ever see the girl look so bad. “What’s wrong Teagan?”

“It’s not a gang thing Ms. Chambers. She calls Chance big foot and he calls her smalls.” She smiles brightly at both of us but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She eventually looks up at me but I have a feeling this doesn’t have anything to do with me. “I’m fine Norma. How are you?”

“Uhhh good I guess, considering.” I look at mom who is still flipping pages. “Mom that can wait till later.”

“No it can’t. I want to know.” Then she looks up at me. “And you need to know.”

I look over at Teagan who is giving me a questioning look. “What do you need to know?”

“Umm I don’t know how to say this to you.” I take another deep breath and shake my head. If she hates me, she hates me. “I’m pregnant. They didn’t give me any information on it just that I was. It depends on how many weeks I am to tell who the father is.”

She looks hurt for one second but it quickly passes before she gets a determined one. “Did you have a period after you and Creed broke up?”

Yeah I didn’t think about that. “Mom put the chart down, its Chances.” I let out air thanking the lord for giving me this pass. For giving me something truly incredible.

“I wouldn’t be mad at you for being pregnant, Norma. I’m happy for you! We can have a huge baby shower and everything!” Teagan comes to sit on my bed talking about everything she wants to do.

“You promise? You and Declan will have some one day.” I look at her hopeful that she really isn’t mad.

“I promise. And I know we will. It does hurt but it’s not something you can really be mad at someone about. Maybe jealous but I wasn’t ready when I got pregnant and I’m not now. I’m happy waiting.” She pulls me into a hug. “By the way I’m so happy you are okay. I was so worried.”

“Thanks.” I tell her feeling choked up. There should be more Teagan Harpers in the world.

After we pull apart mom starts talking. “Your dad should be here any minute. I called him right after the nurse called me last night or early this morning whatever you want to call it.”

“He doesn’t have to come. I’m fine and it’s a long drive.” Plus the man is quiet and he will just be standing there staring with nothing to say.

“He’s your father, Norma, of course he would come. Don’t be moody, you’re not even that pregnant.” She huffs, walking around the bed to sit down in the empty chair.

“I found this guy wondering around the waiting room.” comes Chance’s voice from the doorway. I look up and see my dad walk into the room.

“Hi dad.” I wave awkwardly.

“Hi Norma.” He replies just as awkward. He clears his throat before coming across the room to stand near my bed…and my mom. Yeah I totally just narrowed my eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good. How are you? Did you enjoy the long drive? They help you think of stuff to write, right?” apparently I have gotten good at making small talk with my father.

“Yes they do. Can’t say that I did much thinking on my work, I was mostly worried about you. And if I was about to get pulled over for speeding.” He picks up my hand and squeezes. “I know that I haven’t been in your life much, but I think I was just too young and by the time I realized it, you were already half grown. I’m sorry for that.”

I squeeze back giving him a small smile. “Thank you for that. Though you could have told me this years ago. Saved me a lot of awkward conversations.”

He laughs a little turning towards my mom. “How are you doing, Elizabeth?”

“I’m good thank you.” She grins at me and winks.

“Eww. Get a room please!” I exclaim covering my eyes. When I peek back out, my dad is totally blushing. “Dad, mom, and being that I’m 22 years old, I don’t think you have to hide your relationship anymore. Not that I know why you hid it in the first place. I mean you’re both my parents.”

My mom clears her throat looking up at dad. “It wasn’t that we were hiding it per se. You actually were the only one in the family who didn’t know.” She looks back at me sheepishly. “Your father and I do better…together but separate.”

“I didn’t think it was fair for us to be together in front of you, yet not live together. It doesn’t teach good values.” my dad states.

“Yeah. Whatever. Let’s move on to safer topics.” I smile over at Chance who is grinning like an idiot by the door. “Did Declan not come to see me? I think I feel hurt.”

Teagan laughs. “No he came, I bet he went after coffee. He didn’t get much sleep.”

“Kept him up did you?” I laugh and wink back at her.

Declan finally shows up and we all pretty much sit around and chat. I end up taking a nap about mid-day due to the pain killers. When I wake up from my nap Chance is sitting in the chair next to my bed. “Hey big foot.” I say my voice harsh with sleep.

He sets his accounting book down and crosses the room, a big smile on his face. He bends down and gives me a scorching kiss. “You told me you loved me in your sleep. It was cute.”

I feel my cheeks flush and I look away embarrassed. Though I don’t know why. I do love him and I know he knows that. I just hope I didn’t say anything else. “I do love you, dumb ass.”

He laughs from deep in his gut. “I know you do.” He tells me after his laughing fit. He bends towards my face again and whispers, “I love you too. Dumb ass.”

I laugh at him and sit up in bed. “Where is everyone else?” My mom brought a suit case with her but it’s missing.

“Your mom and dad got a hotel. They actually just left to get dinner. They won’t be gone too long. Teagan and Declan have school work and families to attend to.” He lays down on the bed beside me and pulls me into his arms. “Mom and Macy are coming down. Cassie would come but she has classes as well. Marley came in while you were asleep. He went with your parents”

“Oh boy. Where are we going to house all these people?” I ask looking up it to his hazel eyes.

“I don’t know, but we will figure it out. Teagan has an older brother who lives with his wife and kids in town and he has an extra bedroom. Probably put Mom and Macy there. Marley can sleep on the couch at the house.” He pushes a lock of my hair behind my ear and I nuzzle closer.

Things get pretty serious after that. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him about the baby but I don’t know how to do that just yet. I know he says he want to be with me, but he hasn’t shown me any proof. I guess I just want to be completely sure. “Are you sure you want to put up with my crazy ass?”

He raises an eyebrow while answering, “Yeah I want to put up with you. What kind of question is that?”

“I guess I just want to know where we stand.” I hide my face in his chest not wanting to see his face right now.

He tips my chin up with his index finger. “What do you want, Norma?”

I go with what my gut tells me to do and say. “I wanna make it last forever.” I slide my cheek against his and whisper in his ear.

He turns his head until we are eye to eye. He stares deep into my soul bringing out shivers that pass my entire body. “There’s no making it. It will be forever. You’re the only person on this earth I will ever love like this. That I swear to you.”

My chest feels like it might explode and I know my face is lit up with a big goofy grin. “Why couldn’t you have said this kind of thing to me in high school?”

“Because I wasn’t man enough to hold on to you then.”

Chance

Norma got out of the hospital two days after being admitted. It’s safe to say I was overjoyed. We might still have some baggage between us but I have faith we will make it through. I know she is hurting over what she had to do to Creed but that’s life. You have to make choices you don’t want to make, you just have to find a way to live with them.

No matter how she looks at it, Creed had to be stopped. He wasn’t going to give up until he did what he thought he needed to do. The man was crazy and he would have killed Norma, no doubt about it. Yeah I hate she had to kill him, I would have liked to have been the one. I feel as if it was my responsibility. I never saw the evil person he was. I never even guessed and if I had, I could have stopped a lot of bad shit from happening.

Norma and Elizabeth fought over where Norma would go after she was released. Norma thankfully won. Now she’s in my arms at my house and I couldn’t imagine a better place for her to be. I will always love this woman. Right up until my dying breath.

“What are you thinking about so hard?” she asks me in the dark, drawing circles on my naked chest.

I grin and know she can’t see it. “Just you. It’s remarkable how strong you are. Here I was trying to be a caveman and protect you but you didn’t need me to. All along you had the power to do it yourself. That’s something I love the most about you.” I kiss her cheek and run my fingers through her hair.

“Life didn’t really give me a choice. All these things I didn’t have control over built me up to be this person. I’m not proud of what I have done but I’m starting to see I have to live with it and move on. I think I will always be a little messed up over killing Creed but he would have moved on from me and done it to someone else.” One of her legs hitches up between mine pressing against my groin.

“It’s not an easy thing to get over. And no one is asking you to move on and forget it. I think it speaks volumes on the kind of person you are, that you even feel guilt and remorse. Creed wouldn’t have felt that way had he killed you. Yeah you could have handled it better, but it’s in the past. I’m ready to start moving in the right direction and I’m glad you are too.” My hand reaches under my shirt that Norma put on before we laid down. My thumb caresses the underside of one breasts and I feel her skin erupt into goose flesh.

“That feels good.” she moans turning into me more fully.

I kiss her gently before pulling away to speak. “I thought you were gone. I thought you were never coming back to me. I was so fucking scared and I never want to be that way again. I promise you right here, right now I won’t ever let you deal with anything on your own again. I will protect you for as long as you will have me. You never have to worry that I will become like Creed.”

Her eyes meet mine, their violet coloring appearing black in the dim light. “I know you won’t ever be what Creed was.” Her hand moves up to cup my cheek. “You are a good man, no matter what you did in your past, to me or anyone else. I love you and I promise I will love you for the rest of my life. I won’t ever let anyone come between us again. I was young and naïve. I’m not those things anymore and you are what I want forever and always.”

“Are these happy tears?” I ask wiping away the liquid pooling under her eyes. She nods and I don’t waste any time in claiming her lips in a deep kiss. My tongue licks her bottom lip, seeking entrance. She opens and our tongues immediately tangle.

My hand moves to completely envelop her breast and I roll my palm against her hard little nipple. I leave her lips and pull the shirt above her chest and my tongue snakes out to lick the bud. I suck it in to my mouth and Norma arches her back, her hands ripping through my hair. My other hand travels down her body and into her panties, where I find her wet. I groan slipping a finger in to her tight heat. “Oh Chance.” she cries out softly.

“You like that?” leaving her breasts I raise up to whisper in her ear. I pump one, then two fingers inside her sex feeling her warmth coat my fingers. She is so lost in the sensation that she doesn’t reply.

I pull my fingers out and scoot down the bed until I’m eye level with her most private area. An area only I will be seeing for the rest of our lives. I slip her lace panties down her legs and throw them to the floor. She is all pink and glistening, making my cock spring up to action. I lower my face and suck her clit into my mouth causing Norma to bite her lip.

A sense of satisfaction overcomes me seeing her enjoying what we do. My tongue moves down to slip into her hole and I pump it in and out, fucking her with it. Her moans grow louder and louder so I press my thumb to her clit and rub. When she comes her hands bunch into the sheets, her head is thrown back in pure pleasure and I’m sure her cries disturbed the entire house. Not like I care.

I stand up off the bed and pull my sweat pants to the ground. Norma watches me as I palm my cock and pump up and down. She sits up and pulls my shirt over her head and it joins the rest of our clothes. She gets down to her hands and knees and crawls until she is at the edge and crooks her finger at me. I chuckle stepping up to her. Her hot little mouth is sucking me in before I realize she even moved. “Fuck.” I growl out, loving the feeling.

I try and keep my hips still as she moves but they have a mind of their own. Before long I feel the familiar stirring at the base and I move away from her mouth. She looks up and pouts. “Why did you stop?”

I pull her up and lay her down on her back. I climb over her and enter her in one swift thrust. I lower my head to say in her ear, “I wanna come like this. With you.” Her legs curl around my hips and her hands interlock behind my neck.

“Okay. I can deal with that.” she sighs moving her hips slowly with mine.

We haven’t had sex like this before and I find I want to do it in this position every time. She bites her lips several times, even licks them while I make love to her. It’s sexy as hell.

Finding I won’t be able to last long I reach between, where our bodies are joined. I flick her little clit a couple of times until her nails bite into the skin of my back. I feel her insides clutching my cock while she comes and I explode going off into another world.

When it’s over I fall on my stomach next to her and pull her under my arm. “We really need to start using condoms. I don’t know what the hell I have been thinking.” Okay so I know that I haven’t been thinking. Norma just gets me so turned on I forget the damn things.

She laughs and it almost seems nervous but I let it go. I’m too happy right this second to worry what would make her nervous right now. “You wanna take a shower?” she asks rolling out from under my arm.

“Sure. I have an early class tomorrow, it will save me some time.” I get up off the bed and pad into the bathroom, turning on the shower head. I stick my hand under the spray until it’s hot and then turn the cold. When it’s just the way I like it, I step out of the way to let Norma in.

When I join her, I immediately grab her body wash and squeeze some into my hand. She is facing the shower, letting the water soak her front. My hands grab her ass and I start spreading the suds around. She laughs at me before turning to face me. Her arms go around my shoulders and mine go around her hips. “I have to tell you something. Don’t completely freak out.”

Dread hits the pit of my stomach and I wait for her to wake me up from this dream I seem to have been having. “Okay.” I say clearing my throat. I tell myself I will be okay with her leaving me, but I really wouldn’t.

“I’m pregnant.”

Excuse me?

I feel as if my limbs have lost all their strength to carry me. The next thing I know I’m on my hands and knees in the shower panting. Norma must have turned the water off because I don’t feel it hitting my back.

The love of my life is going to have a dead man’s baby. I can deal with this, I can. We can raise it right and it won’t be like its father. God my girlfriend is going to have my niece’s brother or sister. “Chance?” Norma says nervously rubbing my back.

I move to stand up and she clutches my hand trying to help. Okay well I really needed the help. “It’s okay. I’m okay. We can do this. I’m not even upset it’s not mine. We can have some of our own one day.” I try and reassure her.

“Huh?” she looks at me like I’m an idiot but I wait for her to click the pieces together. “Oh! No this baby is yours. I’m only six weeks along, Chance.” Her wet body hugs mine close and I wrap my arms around her in relief at that news. “I know that you wouldn’t run for the hills if it wasn’t yours. You’re better than that.”

“Oh thank God!” I praise, my hands pumping up into the air. I have never been more relieved in my life! I hold Norma close, swinging her around. I totally want to jump up and down but I doubt that’s a good idea in the wet shower.

I feel kind of like my body and mind are made of jelly as I towel off and pull clean clothes on. Norma does the same and meets me in the bed. “So you’re not mad?” she inquires snuggling into my arms.

“No. Like I said earlier I should have been putting on the damn condoms. It’s not the end of the world.” I pull her left hand up in mine and rub the ring finger. “I would have liked to get a ring on this finger before I got you pregnant but not much I can do about that now.”

“I would have liked to be out of college, but I’m even happier nothing happened when I got hurt. Creed kicked me in the stomach a few times.” I tense in her arms.

“If that fucking bastard wasn’t dead, I would kill him right now. I can’t imagine hitting a woman in the face, but kicking her in the stomach is so horrible I don’t even want to think about it. I hope that mother fucker is rotting in hell.” I relax my body and squeeze Norma closer. “You’re going to have my baby. Wow. I never thought I would be this happy.”

“Me either. It wasn’t something we planned for, but it’s something to celebrate.

Epilogue

Norma

While child birth is beautiful, it hurts like fucking hell. I was pretty doped up during the actual birth, but the contractions were horrible. I never want to relive that pain! It felt like someone was trying to rip me in half. Plus the six stitches I needed to fix my vagina were painful. I don’t think I peed right for two months.

Though the look on Chance’s face when he first saw our daughter is something I will never forget. It was like he had just seen the world for the first time or something. His beautiful hazel eyes were bright with tears and happiness. I guess I will have to pop out a few more, because I want to see that look on his face again.

Audrey Chambers Duncan was born at 3:30 am on a Monday morning. She weighed six pounds and seven ounces. She had a full head of auburn hair and hazel eyes just like her daddy. I couldn’t be happier. And yes I stuck to tradition and named her after Audrey Hepburn. Blair Waldorf would be proud.

I wanted to give her my grandmother’s name for a middle name but Irene is really a weird name, so I went with her last name. My mom was a little disappointed. She wanted Diana, after Princess Diana. While she was famous, I wanted to stay with the old school actresses like all the women in our family. Chance was just happy I didn’t go with Irene.

Now Audrey is three months old and here I sit nursing and rocking her back to sleep. In my brand new house. Much to my father’s disappointment I didn’t go back to school. I do plan on going back but life wanted me to have this beautiful girl in my arms. Chance graduated last spring and got a really good job at an accounting firm here in Fayetteville.

So we bought a little three bedroom house in the suburbs. Apparently my Grammy was a secret millionaire. Mom had no explanation for that one. We received letters in the mail about what she left to each of us. All of it was money. Chance thinks it black mail money. He’s probably right.

Marley got married last month to a nice girl down in Duke. It was a small ceremony and I think Aunt Grace was proud. We never thought he would settle down. I talked to him yesterday and they are expecting their first baby next winter.

Mom and dad are living together up in his cabin off the lake. While I doubt they will ever get married, I’m glad they are together and happy. While it’s seriously weird that they are together after being apart my entire life. If that is what they want, so be it.

I heard from Regina a couple of months back. I went to get my stuff out of the dorm soon after I found out I was pregnant but she never showed while I was there. She was in rehab. She had hooked up with David and started doing drugs. It got so bad she was kicked out of school and arrested for possession, rehab was the end of the line. That or prison.

The cops investigated Creed’s death for a couple of weeks before it was ruled self-defense. They couldn’t very well charge a pregnant woman who was physically and mentally abused by the victim. Plus he shot first. And kidnapped me.

I’m still dealing with what I had to do. Well I know I didn’t have to do it, but really can I say that? Would I have let him get away with killing me and then praying on another innocent woman? Because that is what he would have done. These types of people don’t stop doing what they do. They get a sick sense of satisfaction for hurting others. It makes them feel in control. And I guess Creed never really felt in control. His life was a complete mess.

Creed’s mother died five months ago from an overdose. I guess he was the only one who could keep her alive. I think Dean tried but then again he had his own mother to keep alive. Mrs. Donovan could have stayed away from the bad stuff. She just didn’t want too. Maybe Creed and she will be reunited in the afterlife.

“Is she not asleep yet?” Chance asks walking into our living room. He’s wearing boxer shorts and scratching his head.

I smile up at him. “Yeah. I just like to stare at her though.” I scrunch up my brow. “That’s not weird is it?”

He chuckles squatting down beside the rocking chair. “No. I think all new loving parents want to stare at new babies. It’s hard to believe that we made something so beautiful.” He whispers in awe looking at Audrey.

I smooth back his wild hair and my heart clenches at the love in his voice and eyes. “I love you so much big foot.”

“I love you too smalls.” he says looking up at me. He looks back at Audrey before saying, “I never thought I would love someone as much as you, but I do. God thank you for this beautiful gift.”

“No thank you. I never knew I wanted what I have until you gave it to me. I couldn’t be happier.” I smile softly at him, slowly rocking.

“I beg to differ.” He winks at me before getting up and walking off to the bedroom. He returns after a minute hiding something behind his back. I clutch Audrey closer to me and he gets down on one knee and pulls out a little black box, Tiffany’s written on the top. “Do me the greatest honor and marry me. The only thing that could make our lives any better is if you have my last name.”

Chance

My life has taken a complete 180 since Norma Jean walked back in to my life. I never thought I could be this incredibly happy. One tiny woman and a baby later, I feel next to bursting with it. I don’t even care if I sound like a woman right now. I’m that happy.

I don’t know why it took me so long to pop the question to Norma. I’ve had the ring in my underwear drawer for months. I guess seeing how completely happy she was made me realize it was time. And when she said yes, that feeling still hasn’t gone away.

We called her mom first thing that morning and the woman was here before lunch. They have been planning this day for weeks and it’s finally here. Her dad even paid for it. I guess he thought he hasn’t done enough for her, and wanted to give her this. I honestly couldn’t thank the man enough for creating such an amazing creature.

I look out over the crowd of people sitting here watching us get married. My mom stands out, her new boyfriend sitting next to her. I haven’t really spent any time with the man, but he seems okay. He doesn’t yell at her or hit her, so he’s fine with me.

Macy is growing up so fast I can hardly believe it. I remember when she was Audrey’s size and now she is a wild five year old. She will be starting kindergarten this fall. I can’t even figure out where the time went. Before I know it she will be getting married herself.

Cassie and I are closer than ever. I’m seriously proud of her. She has stayed clean and is being the best mom she can be. The day she told me the truth about Creed, I almost lost it. I couldn’t believe that she told everyone he raped her just to save face. I wouldn’t have cared if she had just admitted the truth. I didn’t talk to her for weeks after that. Norma was incredibly pissed off that the journals she found were fake. Cassie’s only excuse was to say she “had a lot of issues.” I slowly got over it with the help of Norma. I wouldn’t be anywhere without Norma in my life.

My dad and Mary Beth got divorced which wasn’t a surprise to any of us. He is currently engaged to an even younger woman. I don’t understand it. The man isn’t that rich or good looking. Not that you could call him good looking to begin with.

Next to me stands Caden. I was disappointed with him for a while but things have come to light that no one could have guessed. I couldn’t stand by and watch him hurt. What kind of person would that make me? Considering some of the things I have done in my life, his sins aren’t nearly as bad. I just hope it works out for him and Grace. I don’t think life could be that cruel. Two people who love each other like they do, well let’s just say they shouldn’t be separated.

Teagan and Declan are still going strong. But who didn’t see that coming? They would do anything for each other. Teagan and Norma are planning their wedding for next summer. I guess they don’t have to rush it considering they don’t have kids of their own yet. I just know one day I’ll have to stand up next to Declan like he is now and watch him marry the woman of his dreams. I couldn’t be happier for them.

I look out over the crowd and smile so wide I think my face might crack. Norma wanted an outside wedding complete with an arbor to say our vows under. The guest are sitting on wooden benches and there is a white rug laid down between them. There are violets and lilies all over the place. I love the color scheme because it brings to mind Norma wearing nothing but skin on my white sheets with those violet eyes looking up at me.

The music starts to play and I literally want to roll my eyes. “She seriously picked this song?” Caden leans over and mumbles in my ear. I try not to laugh but it doesn’t work. Norma picked A Thousand Years by Christina Perri as our wedding song. She said it described us perfectly. I’m a dude so I have no idea. I just know it’s pretty.

“Caden shut up!” Elizabeth exclaims on the front row. Caden and I both laugh at her as I watch Macy dance down the aisle throwing flower petals everywhere.

“Seriously though. This song?” Declan smacks him on the back of the head this time and Elizabeth smiles at him.

Shelby, Marley’s wife walks out then wearing a lovely violet gown. The short brunette walks slowly and smiles nervously. Norma being Norma refuses to have many female friends. So she asked her new cousin who wouldn’t dream of turning her down.

Teagan comes next also wearing a floor length violet gown. Her raven hair is pulled on top of her head and she looks stunning. She gives Declan a secret smile when she reaches us and goes off to her side.

The music changes to the wedding march and out comes Norma holding our baby girl, her father by her side. Her dress makes me want to find a private place so I can strip her out of it. It’s pure white and strapless. It falls to an inch above her knees and it has black chiffon puffed out on the skirt. A total reverse of her prom dress. Her hair is down and there’s a veil pinned to the back.

She walks slowly the whole way and never loses eye contact with me. It’s like she wants me to know she is serious, but she doesn’t have to worry. I know she wants this just as much as I do.

I take her hand from Mr. Davis and then Audrey from her arms. Like any other time I pick up my daughter the entire world feels at peace. She is sleeping while sucking on her index finger. Figures.

I link my free hand with Norma’s and we face the preacher. He goes through the motions and we say what we are supposed to when asked. We finally say “I do” and my life is complete.

And when I finally kiss my wife, it feels like I have finally come home.

The End

About the Author:

Amanda lives in southern Arkansas with her husband and young daughter. Writing is her biggest passion and she would be nowhere without all the people in her head. She is also an obsessed reader. You won’t find her without her kindle or her laptop. She is the author of This Beautiful Thing (Young Love #1), Fire In Her Eyes (Summer Love #1), Angel Cuffs (short erotica story), and Norma Jean. She will be releasing her fourth novel, Wrong Kind of Love (Young Love #2) this summer.

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Norma Jean Playlist:

1.        Remember Everything-Five Finger Death Punch (American Capitalist)

2.       All Over You-Spill Canvas (No Really, I’m Fine)

3.       I Don’t Care-Apocalyptica featuring Adam Gontier (Worlds Collide)

4.      Apologize-One Republic (Dreaming Out Loud)

5.       Your Guardian Angel-Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Don’t You Fake It)

6.       We Found Love-Rihanna (Talk That Talk)

7.       Radioactive-Imagine Dragons (Night Visions)

8.      Use Somebody-Kings of Leon (Only By The Night)

9.       We Are Broke-Paramore (Riot!)

10.    If It Means A Lot To You-A Day To Remember (Homesick)

11.     Shark In The Water-V. V. Brown (Traveling Like The Light)

12.    The Reason-Hoobastank (The Reason)

13.    One More Night-Maroon 5 (Overexposed)

14.   Will You Be There (Falling Down)-Skillet (Alien Youth)

15.    Feel This Moment-Pitbull featuring Christina Aguilera (Global Warming)

16.    Discovering The Waterfront-Silverstein (Discovering The Waterfront)

17.    The Mission (M Is For Milla Mix)-Puscifer (“C” Is For…)

18.   Please Don’t Leave Me-P!nk (Fun House)

19.    Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol (Eyes Open)

20.   A Thousand Years-Christina Perri (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 Sound track)