The Soldier’s E-Mail Order Bride

Cora Seton

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The Soldier’s E-Mail Order Bride

Copyright © 2014 Cora Seton

Kindle Edition

Published by One Acre Press

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Author’s Note

The Soldier’s E-Mail Order Bride is the second in the four volume series, The Heroes of Chance Creek. To find out more about Mason, Regan, Austin, Zane, Colt and other Chance Creek inhabitants, look for the rest of the books in the series, including:

The Navy SEAL’s E-mail Order Bride (Volume 1)

The Marine’s E-Mail Order Bride (Volume 3)

The Airman’s E-Mail Order Bride (Volume 4)

Find out where it all began with The Cowboys of Chance Creek Series:

The Cowboy’s E-mail Order Bride (Volume 1)

The Cowboy Wins a Bride (Volume 2)

The Cowboy Imports a Bride (Volume 3)

The Cowgirl Ropes a Billionaire (Volume 4)

The Sheriff Catches a Bride (Volume 5)

The Cowboy Lassos a Bride (Volume 6)

The Cowboy Rescues a Bride (Volume 7)

The Cowboy Earns a Bride (Volume 8)

Visit http://www.coraseton.com for more titles and release dates.

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Prologue

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March

STAFF SERGEANT AUSTIN Hall sat down heavily at the bank of computers reserved for off-duty personnel in Camp Eggers, a military forward operating base in Kabul. After another fruitless mission last night to track down the Taliban field commander, Omar Akhund, he dreaded his upcoming four-way Internet call with his brothers. He wasn’t in the mood for chitchat. He wasn’t much in the mood for anything these days, and hadn’t been in a long time—not since he’d lost his best friend and fellow member of the Special Forces, Ben Donovan, fifteen months ago. But he and his brothers talked once a month. If he blew them off, they’d know something was wrong. So far he’d fooled them into thinking he’d made a full recovery after his friend’s death. He couldn’t slip up now.

“Did I hear right, Sergeant? You’re leaving the Army in just a few months?”

“That’s right.” Austin didn’t make eye contact with the young man who now approached him through the busy room. The last thing he needed was an interrogation about his plans.

“I bet your hometown will give you a hero’s welcome—and then it’ll be a nice house, a picket fence, a wife and two-point-five kids!”

Austin flinched at Corporal Ken Smith’s cheerful words. The kid hadn’t been around long enough to know his history. His voice hadn’t contained a single hint of sarcasm, but when Austin replayed the sentence in his mind, it rang with it. A hero’s welcome? Not likely. He might have been awarded a Medal of Honor for pulling Chase Edgars out of the same fire fight that killed Donovan, but he was no hero. A hero would have realized Donovan was the more injured of the two. A hero wouldn’t have hauled Edgars away and left Donovan to die.

Donovan and Edgars been his anchors after his father died, his family lost its ranch and he’d entered the Army at seventeen. Against all odds, the three of them had advanced together, going in for the brutal training that transformed them into soldiers worthy of the Special Forces. They worked together like a well-oiled machine. Thinking with one brain, completing each other’s sentences. When they’d been assigned to the same team they’d felt like they won the jackpot.

Nothing had been the same since Donovan was gone and Edgars shipped back home. Being a soldier without them was like being a race car driver whose car was missing two tires. He couldn’t get anywhere. Couldn’t do anything right. He hadn’t seen Edgars in over a year. Hadn’t spoken to him, either. Couldn’t think of the man without thinking of Ben and his own failure.

Austin pulled himself together with an effort. “Sure thing, Smith.”

The corporal moved away and Austin fiddled with the laptop until he was set up for the call. By the time he’d patched together the link with his brothers, he’d managed to school his features into an easy smile. His oldest brother, Mason, a Lieutenant Commander and Navy SEAL, took control of the conversation right away, as usual. But this wasn’t the usual chat about life and the military. Austin could tell immediately something had happened—something had changed. Mason had a glint in his eye he hadn’t seen in ages. For the first time in weeks Austin felt a flash of interest.

“Boys,” Mason said with a quick grin. “We’re going home.”

*    *    *

“AND THE WINNER is…”

Ella Scales, seated at the end of a row in the Kodak Theater with her fiancé, Anthony Black, and her best friend and agent, Marianne Hollins, surreptitiously wiped her hands on her Givenchy gown, her heart thumping in her chest. She’d been tense for weeks awaiting the Oscars to find out if she’d win the Best Supporting Actress Award for her role in the darkly twisted rom-com, The Bride Wore Black.

Marianne shot her an excited look. She’d been just as on edge as Ella since the nomination came. More so, even. Which made sense, since Marianne had always been more excited about Ella’s acting career than Ella ever was. In fact, Marianne was the one who’d gotten her into acting, first in high school and then as a bit player in a low-budget indie film a dozen years ago.

“The winner is…” Delilah Leavensworth, the presenter for the award, repeated. The audience groaned. A few people chuckled as the actress on stage hammed up drawing out the suspense for laughs.

Ella didn’t find her hesitation funny.

Too much rode on the outcome of tonight’s award ceremony for her to take it lightly. She’d been offered a part in An Arresting Moment, playing opposite Anthony. The film was touted by everyone in the know as that most rare of breeds—an intellectually satisfying story with blockbuster special effects and action sequences. Unfortunately, the offer of the part was conditional. She had to hand it to Anthony—as distant as he’d been these past few months, he’d gone to bat for her and the director had acquiesced to bring her on board if, and only if, she won the Academy award she’d been nominated for. The truth was the director wanted someone younger than Ella.

Didn’t they all.

Win the award and win the part. Lose it, and her fate was sealed. Anthony had influence, but it only went so far.

Ella glanced around the crowded theater and caught Kaylee Lipenhauer looking back at her. Kaylee, who acted as a CIA sidekick to Anthony in his previous film, Flight to Death, quirked an eyebrow and smiled a tight little smile.

The bitch thought she was going to win.

Ella’s own smile slipped a little bit. Three weeks ago she’d come home to Anthony’s Hollywood Hills mansion early and found Kaylee exiting the driveway as Ella entered it. Anthony had brushed it off as no big deal—just two co-actors discussing their film—but he’d been increasingly distant ever since, even as their wedding drew near. She’d told herself his distance had everything to do with his own insecurities. He was up for Best Actor this year. He wanted it more than anything. But she knew she was kidding herself. Their relationship was in danger.

So she had to win the award. She had to win the part in Anthony’s movie. Otherwise she didn’t know what he’d do.

She glanced at Anthony, who was beaming. You’d never know how nervous he was if you hadn’t dressed for the occasion in the same enormous bedroom with him. He’d snapped at her all evening, darting in and out of his walk-in closet to check that its mirror’s rendition of his reflection was as flattering as the bedroom’s full-length mirror. But now he was calm and pleased, making eye contact with various other audience members.

Making eye contact with Kaylee.

Ella’s smile slipped again, and she resisted the urge to whack Anthony’s arm to recall his attention. Instead, she forced her mouth back into its smile. She would marry Anthony in June—just three short months away. Why didn’t he beam at her?

“The winner is…” Delilah Leavensworth hesitated a third time.

Would she spit it out already? Ella thought she’d be sick. She’d suspected Anthony of cheating on her before, but now her suspicion was hardening into something more solid—at the worst possible moment. Her friend Marianne caught her gaze and raised an eyebrow. Her look said it all—do something. But what could she do?

She began to lean toward Anthony, deciding to take his hand as if sharing the excitement of the moment, when Delilah Leavensworth finally finished her sentence.

“The award for Best Supporting Actress goes to Kaylee Lipenhauer for her outstanding role in Flight to Death!”

The audience roared its approval, clapping and cheering all around her, as Ella’s career tanked before her eyes. After one shocked, horrified moment, she clapped along with them, her smile now frozen on a face that ached with the effort.

She had lost. The award. The part. Any chance at a future that included leading roles.

And by the looks of things, she’d lost Anthony, too.

*    *    *

“HOME?” AUSTIN WAS the first to speak.

“Home,” Mason confirmed. “I got a letter from Great Aunt Heloise. Uncle Zeke passed away without designating an heir. That means the ranch reverts back to her. She thinks we’ll do a better job running it than Darren will.”

That made sense. Their cousin Darren was a dud when it came to ranching—he couldn’t stand hard work. But Austin and his brothers had all loved the place when they were growing up. They’d been forced to move when their uncle Zeke inherited the ranch after their father’s death twelve years ago. Their mother—devastated by the loss of her husband and her home—had taken them to Florida to live with her sister.

“She’s giving Crescent Hall to us?” That was Zane, Austin’s twin, a Marine currently in Kandahar. Zane was excited, which was no surprise.

Mason took a deep breath. “There are a few conditions.”

Colt, Austin’s youngest brother, snorted. “Of course—we’re talking about Heloise, aren’t we? What’s she up to this time?” He was an Air Force combat controller who was currently back on United States soil, training with his unit in Florida.

“The first condition is that we have to stock the ranch with one hundred pair of cattle within twelve months of taking possession.”

“We should be able to do that,” Austin said slowly. A hundred cows and their calves—it would make a good start. He couldn’t believe returning to the ranch was even possible. He’d given up that particular dream a long time ago.

“It’s going to take some doing to get that ranch up and running again,” Zane countered. “Zeke was already letting the place go years ago.”

“You have something better to do than fix the place up when you get out?” Mason asked him.

“I’m in. I’m just saying.”

“Good luck with all that,” Colt put in.

Of course; Colt wouldn’t leave the Air Force, not even for the chance to get their hands on the ranch again. He lived for the service. Mason seemed to understand this too and he turned his attention to Austin and Zane.

“If we’re going to do this, it’ll take a commitment. We’re going to have to pool our funds and put our shoulders to the wheel for as long as it takes. Are you up for that?”

Yeah. Yeah, he was up for that, Austin realized. “I’ll join you there as soon as I’m able to in June. It’ll just be like another year in the service. I can handle that.” As long as he didn’t have to go hunting Taliban cell members in Chance Creek, Montana.

“I already said I’m in,” Zane said. “I’ll have boots on the ground in September.”

For the first time in longer than he could remember, Austin felt a ray of hope. Maybe there was a life for him outside this warzone. Maybe there was something to look forward to.

Instantly, guilt washed over him. Who was he to have hopes and dreams when Donovan was cold in the ground?

“There’s just one other thing,” Mason was saying. “Aunt Heloise has one more requirement of each of us.”

“What’s that?” Austin forced himself to ask when his brother didn’t go on.

“She’s worried about the lack of heirs on our side of the family. Darren has children. We don’t.”

“Plenty of time for that,” Zane said. “We’re still young, right?”

“Not according to Heloise. She’s decided that in order for us to inherit the Hall free and clear, we each have to be married within the year. One of us has to have a child.”

Stunned silence met this announcement until Colt started to laugh. “Staying in the Air Force doesn’t look so bad now, does it?”

“That means you, too,” Mason said.

“What? Hold up, now. I won’t even live on the ranch. Why do I have to get hitched?” Austin would have laughed at Colt’s expression if he wasn’t so stunned himself by Mason’s declaration.

“Because Heloise says it’s time to stop screwing around. And she controls the land. And you know Heloise.”

“How are we going to get around that?” Austin asked. There was no way he was getting married. No way in hell he was having a child. He had no right to the American dream—not anymore.

“We’re not.” Mason glared at each of them in turn. “We’re going to find ourselves some women and we’re going to marry them.”

“In Afghanistan?” Zane’s tone rang with sarcasm.

“Online. I created an online personal ad for all of us. Each of us has a photo, a description and a reply address. A woman can get in touch with whichever of us she chooses and start a conversation. Just weed through your replies until you find the one you want.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Zane looked incredulous. Austin understood just how he felt, but Mason pressed on.

“I don’t see what you’re upset about. I’m the one who has to have a child. None of you will be out of the service in time.”

“Wait a minute—I thought you just got the letter from Heloise.” Austin found his voice again. How had Mason done this all so fast?

“The letter came about a week ago,” Mason admitted. “I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up until I checked a few things out. Heloise said the place is in rougher shape than we thought. Sounds like Zeke sold off the last of his cattle a year ago. We’re going to have to start from scratch, and we’re going to have to move fast to meet her deadline—on both counts. I did all the legwork on the online ad. All you need to do is read some e-mails, look at some photos and pick one. How hard can that be?”

“I’m beginning to think there’s a reason you’ve been single all these years, Straightshot,” Austin said, knowing the nickname was sure to get a rise. He wasn’t disappointed; Mason winced.

Colt laughed. “Told you two it was safer to stay in the military. Mason’s Matchmaking Service. It has a ring to it. I guess you’ve found yourself a new career, Mase.”

“Stow it. Just because I’ve put the ad up doesn’t mean any of you have to make contact with the women who write you. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But you need to marry within the year. If you don’t find a wife for yourself, I’ll find one for you.”

“He would, too,” Austin said to the others. “You know he would.” The thought pissed him off. The last thing he needed was a woman. He’d done enough damage in this world.

“When does the ad go live?” Zane asked.

“It went live five days ago. You’ve each got several hundred responses so far. I’ll forward them to you as soon as we break the call.”

Shock propelled Austin toward the screen. “Several hundred?”

“That’s right.”

Colt’s laughter rang out over the line.

“Don’t know what you’re finding so funny, Colton,” Mason said, sounding just like their father for a minute. “You’ve got several hundred responses, too.”

“What? I told you I was staying…”

“Read through them and answer all the likely ones. I’ll be in touch in a few days to check your progress.” Mason cut the call.

Austin sat back in his seat, as stunned as if a grenade had gone off nearby. A wife? Within the year?

How the hell would he pull that off?

*    *    *

ELLA HELD HERSELF straight and rigid, beaming as if she was over the moon that Kaylee had won. Catching Marianne’s eye again, she took in her friend’s pinched expression. Marianne’s career was just as tenuous as Ella’s right now. She’d been told that in order to earn a partnership at Barnes & Madison, she needed to cultivate a top-tier client. When Ella won her Oscar, she was supposed to be that client.

Not anymore.

Anthony wouldn’t even look at her. She thanked God for the thick layer of makeup she hoped was hiding the blush of embarrassment creeping up her neck. She’d thought she’d win. She’d actually thought she’d win. Now she was catching sympathetic looks every which way she turned. She congratulated herself that she was doing a fabulous job of masking her pain, but her mouth dropped open when Anthony surged to his feet and clapped harder, while Kaylee pushed past her friends and hurried over to Anthony’s seat to fling her arms around him.

Stunned, Ella reminded herself he did play the lead in the same movie as Kaylee, but her smile slipped an inch as she watched the two hug and kiss.

And kiss…

And kiss some more.

There was a lull in the clapping as the whole room took in the passion that sparked between her fiancé and Kaylee, and then some wag gave a rebel yell and the cheers and applause surged again. Anthony and Kaylee went on kissing like two drowning souls stealing oxygen from each other on the way down to the ocean’s bottom. Was this his way of calling off the wedding? Was he telling her—and the rest of the viewing public—that he was through with her?

Kaylee broke off the kiss, shot her a look of pure triumph and pulled Anthony by the hand to the stage where Delilah Leavensworth waited. Ella’s chest heaved with the effort to find enough air to fill her lungs, but no one else seemed to notice she was having a heart attack. For that’s what it had to be. What else could press this crushing weight on her chest as all her dreams came shattering down around her?

“Sorry! Sorry!” Kaylee chirped into the microphone she grabbed from Delilah, after pulling Anthony right onto the stage despite his protestations. “I had to bring my leading man up here with me when I accepted the award.” She slung an arm around his waist and hugged him again.

Ella blinked back the tears that pricked her eyes. She would not cry. She would. Not. Cry. She had to get out of here. But how? With half the cameras in the place trained on her, a retreat would be filmed and played back again and again on every network. She’d already been humiliated enough. A glance at Marianne told her she was just as horrified by the spectacle playing out in front of them. If Marianne had thought Ella would prop up her career, she was sadly mistaken.

Suddenly the stocky, grizzled, six-foot-four frame of Ella’s driver and bodyguard, Hank Much, appeared beside her and crouched by her chair. He handed her a cell phone in a very showy way. She had no idea how he’d made it past security to reach her, but she could have kissed him for doing so.

He put his mouth near her ear and said something, but the noise of the crowd made it almost impossible to hear. She caught the words mother and hospital and minutes to live. Icy-cold fear spiked through her. All thoughts of Anthony and Kaylee forgotten, she grabbed the phone and pressed it to her ear. “Mom?”

Hank took her arm and hauled her to her feet. “Purse.”

She grabbed her silver clutch automatically and let him hustle her up the aisle, her heart pounding as she rushed to keep up with his strides. Security agents were fast approaching, but Hank put up a hand to stop them and guided her past. They took up the rear, like a well-armed entourage.

“Mom!” Ella covered her free ear with a hand to block the noise of Kaylee’s insipid acceptance speech and the murmuring of the crowd all around her. People were pointing at her, but their faces showed concern, not derision. “Mom—are you all right?” She could hardly breathe. This couldn’t be happening—not tonight of all nights. How soon could she get on a plane to Nevada? Or would it be quicker to drive? Hank hustled her up the aisle.

“Ma’am—you can’t take calls while they’re filming,” one of the security guards called out.

Hank shushed him. “Family emergency! Miss Scales is needed immediately!” He hauled Ella into the lobby, then straight out the front door to the limo he’d pulled half onto the sidewalk. More security guards clustered around it, arguing and talking into cell phones. The press pushed in from all sides. Flashes went off, reporters screamed at her.

“Ms. Scales, why are you leaving the Awards early?”

“Ms. Scales—what about the Oscar?”

“Ms. Scales—is the wedding of the century off?”

“Ms. Scales—”

Hank pushed her toward the limo and deposited her into the back seat. In another moment he was behind the wheel. He pulled away from the curb, tires screeching.

In the sudden silence, Ella heard the dial tone on the phone she pressed to her ear and shut it off, scrambling for her own phone in her clutch. “I lost her!”

“You never had her. There’s no phone call.”

“What?” She straightened, blinking back tears. “What do you mean?”

“There’s no phone call. Your mom’s fine.” He turned his head. “Jesus, you didn’t hear me. I said, act is if your Mom has minutes to live.”

Ella gaped at him. Realized he’d tried to give her a credible reason to escape from the Academy Awards and began to laugh, close to hysterics. Relief flooded her body as she realized her mother was safe and that Hank had gotten her out of there with some of her dignity intact.

“You okay?” Hank peered at her in the rearview mirror. At sixty-eight, he was still as muscled as he’d ever been as a Mr. Universe contestant. He’d taken corporate security jobs when his career as a body-builder ended in his late thirties, then progressed to personal security and limo driving when he wanted something a little less strenuous. He’d worked for Ella for four years now and she didn’t know what she’d do without him. Hank was a bit of a father-substitute as well as her chauffeur and protector.

Without fear for her mother to hold it back, her humiliation swamped her again. She could see the small screen of Hank’s smart-phone in the front seat. It was tuned to a live feed of the show. Kaylee and Anthony were still onstage. Kaylee had thrown her arms around Anthony, nearly knocking him out with her Oscar, and was kissing him passionately on the lips.

Anthony was kissing her back.

“Oh, I’m so excited,” Kaylee said as she pulled away. “I’m just too excited. I have to tell you my news—the only thing that can top this amazing award.” She waved her Oscar over her head.

“I should turn that off,” Hank said.

“We’re getting married!” Kaylee cried, lifting Anthony’s hand over their heads like a victory celebration. “And I have an even bigger surprise! Anthony, I’m pregnant!” She threw herself at Anthony again, who’d stiffened at Kaylee’s sudden announcement. At some unseen signal from off-stage, Delilah Leavensworth began to usher them away from the podium with sweeping gestures, still smiling broadly, although her expression was definitely forced. The audience’s applause died down as they exited, replaced by audible murmurs of disbelief.

Ella watched the drama unfold without moving, her breath caught in her throat. Kaylee kept kissing Anthony and trying to drag him back to center stage. Anthony and Delilah both worked to pull her off into the wings.

When Kaylee tripped and Delilah caught her, Ella barked out a laugh that turned into a sob.

Kaylee was pregnant—when Anthony had made Ella sign a pre-nup stating clearly they would never have a child.

She should have been devastated. She should have been furious. But although tears ran down her face, she felt neither of these things.

Instead, she felt relief.

Chapter 1

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June

“I WILL FIND a wife within the next nine months. How many times do I have to say it?” Austin surveyed the computer screen on the table in front of him. This time he sat at a bank of computers available for off-duty men at the Eglin Air Force base in Florida where the 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne) made its home. Back stateside after far too many months in Afghanistan, his clean, modern, safe surroundings felt as unreal as they always did after an extended tour. He kept bracing for an attack that never came and the absence of danger was almost as unnerving as its presence was in the field. His right heel tapped under the table so fast he felt the vibration through his chair. It wasn’t too much caffeine from the cups of coffee he’d drained throughout the day; it was leftover adrenaline that had nowhere to go now that he was back in the United States.

“I don’t care how many times you say it. I care that you haven’t done anything about it.” Mason leaned forward until his face filled his screen. “It’s been three months since I told you what we need to do to get our family’s ranch back. I got engaged, I fixed up the barns and stables, I fenced in the pastures, I paid off Uncle Zeke’s debts, and now I’m getting married and I’m working on having a baby, too.” He ticked each point off on his fingers.

Mason was right—he’d done a great job fulfilling their Great Aunt Heloise’s harebrained conditions for them to inherit Crescent Hall. In four days Austin would leave the Army and rejoin the civilian world. In six days he’d watch Mason and his fiancée, Regan, tie the knot. Now he just had to find a woman. And marry her.

The thought left him cold. He used to think someday he’d settle down, but it had always been a vague plan to be carried out far in the future—a future which seemed bright with possibilities. These days he didn’t give a damn about the future. He’d left too much behind in Afghanistan.

But Great Aunt Heloise had been all too clear about the conditions under which she’d return Crescent Hall to Austin and his brothers. It was all or nothing. If he didn’t marry, he’d deny the rest of them their chance to go home. He couldn’t do that.

He was caught between a rock and a hard place, right where he’d been since Donovan died. Unable to go back. Unable to move forward.

Sometimes he wished he had died, too.

“By the time I got out of the Navy I had already found Regan,” Mason was saying. “You’ll be out of the Army on Thursday. What’s the holdup?”

Shaking off his dark thoughts, Austin wondered what it would be like when he and his brothers lived together in Chance Creek. Zane would be out of the Marines in September. Colt planned to carry on in the Air Force indefinitely, but sooner or later he’d leave the service, too, and all four of them would work the ranch.

With their wives.

“Give him a break, Mason.” Zane spoke up. He was on his way home for a short leave to attend Mason’s wedding, too. Austin should have looked forward to seeing his twin again, but it was hard to muster enthusiasm for much of anything. Once, Zane had been the kind of friend Edgars and Donovan were—the two of them had been inseparable until they joined different branches of the service. Now a distance had grown between them because of the time they’d spent apart. He wondered if they’d ever overcome it. Wasn’t sure he ever wanted to be close to someone like that again.

“Yeah, give him a break. Not all of us want wives.” That was Colt. He’d catch a flight to Chance Creek first thing on Friday, but he’d only stay a couple of days.

Mason shook his head. “Don’t you all start this again. You gave your word—not only to me, but to Regan, too—you would get married before the year was up. We’ve done the hard part, getting the ranch and Hall ready for the rest of you, and we’re the ones trying to get pregnant. All you three have to do is find wives and settle down.”

“I’ll find a wife.” The sentence came out nearly a growl and Austin fought down his impatience. He wasn’t getting much sleep these days—hadn’t in a long, long time.

“You’d better get a move on.” Mason glared at each of them through the video connection. “If you all blow this after everything Regan and I have done, I will personally make your lives a living hell.”

Too late, Austin thought. He was already living in hell.

“What about Heather Ward?” Mason suggested to him. “You could always marry her—she’s still in town. She asked about you when Regan and I got here.”

“Heather Ward?” Jolted out of his thoughts, he stared at his brother. He’d dated the girl back in high school—more than a decade ago, for heaven’s sake. Nothing from that era in his life seemed real anymore. Certainly not the selfish girl who’d dumped him right before his father died. “I don’t think so.”

Zane and Colt, who’d both gone quiet during this exchange, began to talk at once.

“You know what they say—you can’t go back to your first love,” Zane said.

“I’ll bet she moved on to greener pastures a long time ago,” Colt added.

“I have no interest in Heather Ward.” Austin hoped that put an end to that line of speculation.

“Then find someone you are interested in—fast. I gotta go,” Mason said. “Make your flights and don’t screw up. And when you get here do whatever it takes to make Regan happy. She deserves it.”

“Especially for putting up with you,” Colt drawled as Mason cut the line. Austin chuckled along with Zane out of habit, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how hard the last year and a half had been, the hardest part was yet to come. He’d looked forward to coming home, but now he understood there would be no time to hide from the world and regroup like he’d hoped for. He had to marry fast, and many people in Chance Creek would remember him, his family and his past. The joshing over Heather Ward left him feeling raw. If his own brothers couldn’t understand how removed he felt from the days before he’d joined the service—how removed he felt from everything—there was no hope that anyone else would. People like Heather meant nothing to him. Not anymore.

“You hanging in there?” Zane asked him suddenly.

Austin realized he’d lost the thread of the conversation. “Yeah.”

“You turned green back there when Mason mentioned Heather. You sure you’re over her?”

“Hell, yeah. I was over her about a month after I joined the Army.” He had been, too. Heather had consumed him back in high school, but the Army showed him a bigger world than he’d ever dreamed about. His new friendships quickly outranked his old ones. His desire to join the Special Forces burned brighter than any spark for his old girlfriend. She’d moved on quickly anyway. He’d heard a rumor she’d been with someone else even before he left Chance Creek—and that was barely a month after she’d given him the heave-ho. Austin shrugged. “All kidding aside? That ship sailed a long time ago.”

His brothers exchanged a look he couldn’t decipher. Didn’t they believe him? It was true. Heather was high maintenance. A drama queen. When he settled down he was going to choose a woman who was as independent as he was—someone who barely needed a husband at all.

“There’s been something funny about you since your last tour,” Zane persisted with the insight only a twin could have.

“I’m fine. How about you two?” He figured he’d deflect the conversation onto his brothers. “Any prospects?”

“Not really.” Zane frowned. They were almost identical in looks, which they’d exploited as kids, but that was a long time ago. These days they didn’t get to talk much, let alone see each other face to face.

“Colt? You getting anywhere?”

Colt, who looked far more serious than usual, focused on him. “Nah. You know I never wanted to get hitched. I figure I’ll find some random woman, slap a ring on her finger and set her up in the Hall with the rest of you. I’ll send you a couple hundred bucks a month for food and clothes. You can take care of her.”

Zane frowned at him. “You better take this seriously, Colt.”

“I am taking it seriously. I seriously don’t want a wife, but you all seem to. Just think of her as an extra one. Whenever any of you get sick of the one you married, you can just take up with mine for a time.”

“Colt!” Zane wasn’t amused, but Austin allowed the corner of his mouth to curl up in a grim smile. Just like old times. Colt had an innate ability to say just the thing that would get a rise out of the rest of them. Zane looked like thunder. “We’re all wasting our time and money if you don’t marry.”

“I said I’ll get married. I didn’t say I’d live with the woman.”

“I thought you said you’d—”

“You thought wrong.” Colt overrode the rest of Zane’s words.

Austin tuned out his brothers’ argument as a kernel of an idea occurred to him. Colt was onto something. He couldn’t be a husband to a woman, not in the traditional sense. He didn’t want someone who knew him like Heather. He wanted a complete stranger. Someone who didn’t need his love. Somewhere out there in the world was a woman whose own heart was broken, who needed help to get through the present, but who didn’t want more than that. That’s who he’d marry; someone exactly like him. After all, once Aunt Heloise had signed the deed to the land over to them, she couldn’t take it away if he divorced.

A business transaction. He could do that. He’d find a wife for nine months—no, better make it a year. Give himself some leeway in case Heloise was slow to hand over that deed.

“I’ve got to go. See you soon,” he said and cut the call. Now that he’d had the idea, he wanted to act on it at once. Get it over and done with so he could move on to fading away into obscurity in their small Montana town.

He called up an online dating hub on his browser and typed in a new ad:

Temporary wife wanted for ex-serviceman.

Requirements: Healthy, independent woman wanted to share the home, but not the heart, of a soldier who needs peace and quiet and no drama. I’m offering my name, my income and my support for a year in exchange for cooking, cleaning, gardening, some light chores on my Montana ranch, and the appearance of being happily married. I don’t need to know your story and you don’t need to know mine. In public we will act like husband and wife. In private we will act like roommates. Must be willing to sign a pre-nuptial agreement and marry immediately.

There. That ought to do it.

*    *    *

“ELLA, I WANT to thank you for being brave enough to come on my show today.” Myra Cramer leaned back in her leather seat, her signature red suit a powerful contrast to her blond hair. Ella always thought the talk show host looked like a political hopeful. A younger Hillary Clinton, perhaps. Marianne called her an influencer. “Just make her like you. Get her on board with the story of your recommitment to acting. With her support, everyone else will line up to welcome you back to Hollywood.”

“It’s hard to talk about your personal life in front of strangers,” Myra went on. “Especially when the subject is so delicate. Your wedding to Anthony Black was scheduled for next week, wasn’t it? Before you decided to cancel?”

“Yes, it was.” Ella shifted uncomfortably, reached out for the cup of coffee an assistant had placed for her on the decorative end table, then pulled her hand back. It was too soon in the show for her to take a sip—it would project disinterest in her hostess and she couldn’t afford that. Myra had been warned to touch on past events only lightly. This interview was meant as a first stop on the Ella Scales comeback train. Orchestrated by Marianne, it would bring her back into the public’s view in a positive, controlled way. For the last three months, Ella had gone to ground at her parents’ place in Nevada. Marianne had diligently shopped around a story of Ella helping her poor, sickly mother, complete with photos of her returning from town with grocery bags full of soup and produce. It still rankled Ella how fake those images were. Her mother—who was as healthy as a weed and furious about the deception—would never eat store-bought soup.

The paparazzi had kept her entire family pinned down on the horse farm, and while her parents bore it the best they could, things had gotten tense by the end. For the first time in her life, they’d been happy to see her go, and Ella swore she’d never put them through anything like it again. Of course most people speculated that Ella had bolted from the award show because Kaylee had won, but Hank had arranged her escape so smoothly that a strong contingent believed her cover story. At any rate, Marianne felt sure Ella’s career could be salvaged, and she’d become a one woman promotion machine.

Time for Ella to play her part. “I’ve put that all behind me. It was a blessing to discover that Anthony and I were incompatible before we tied the knot.”

Incompatible. That was one way to put it.

“And you’ve moved past the hurt and anger.”

“Yes.” Ella smiled serenely, an expression she had now mastered. She struggled to keep her hands folded in her lap. She wanted a sip of that coffee.

“What would you say to Anthony if you saw him again?”

Ella almost frowned before she caught herself. Myra wasn’t supposed to dwell on this topic. “I would wish him well, of course.”

Myra nodded. “Very civilized. Well, you’ll get that chance right now. We have a surprise guest on Morning with Myra today. Two surprise guests, actually. Anthony Black and Kaylee Lipenhauer, come on out.”

Was she serious? She was. Anthony strode out onto the stage holding Kaylee’s hand. Only long practice kept Ella in her seat. She wanted to rip her microphone off her collar and throw it in Myra’s face. She wanted to storm off the show. But that’s how she got the title Runaway Bride—by storming out of the Academy Awards. She couldn’t do it again.

“Hello, Ella. Good to see you.” Anthony dropped Kaylee’s hand and came in for a hug. Behind him, Kaylee turned to the side and smoothed her hand over the very tight knit top she wore to emphasize the slight swell of her pregnant belly. Ella closed her eyes, angry all over again that Anthony had allowed Kaylee the baby he’d refused to consider with her.

Hug him back, hug him back, the voice of reason in her head chanted. They were on air, after all.

But Ella couldn’t. She just couldn’t.

As he bent down, she grabbed the ceramic mug from the end table, dumped out the coffee, surged to her feet and clocked him upside the head.

As the audience screamed and Kaylee dropped to her knees beside Anthony’s prone form, Ella knew her ex-fiancé wasn’t the only one down for the count. Her comeback was over before it even started. Her career was trashed for good.

The only thing left to do was run again.

Outside, she found Hank leaning against the limo, chatting with another driver. Hank took one look at her face and leaped to open the door for her.

“To the airport?” he guessed.

“As fast as you can!”

Chapter 2

‡

AUSTIN LET HIMSELF into to his room, ready to put another day behind him. Tomorrow he’d ship out for Montana and his time with the military would end, except for reserve duty. He couldn’t wait to see Crescent Hall again. He found Sergeant Jack Briggs reading on his bunk. Austin nodded at him and prepared for bed, but evidently Briggs wanted to talk tonight. He put down his paperback and braced his hands on his knees.

“Look, I’ve held off saying this because I knew you didn’t want to hear it, but you’re leaving tomorrow and I think it’s time we had this conversation.”

Austin’s stomach sank. Not another go to counseling lecture. He’d tried that. It didn’t work.

“I know your story. I looked into it after living with you a couple of weeks.” Briggs held up a hand. “No—don’t feel the need to explain. I get it, which is why I want to have this little chat with you. My Uncle Ed lost a friend in a similar situation back when he was serving in the first Gulf War twenty years ago. He blamed himself. Came home thoroughly fucked up. None of us judged him—I was just a kid at the time, but I heard the grownups talking about it. They all wanted to help him through it until he found himself again. He had a wife—my Aunt Irene—and two daughters. But after he’d been home a while, those women changed. All three of them tip-toed around him. No lie—tip-toed.” Briggs caught his eye to make sure Austin was paying attention. “The years went by, those girls grew up, got out of the house, but Aunt Irene never did. I watched her fade away. We all did. Twenty years later my uncle still blames himself, still shuts himself off from any shred of happiness. He barely leaves his room. He told me once he feels that if he smiles or laughs or loves or feels any kind of pleasure it’s just another kick in the balls to his buddy who died, but you know what?”

Austin didn’t respond. Briggs had no idea what he was going through.

“I’ll tell you what.” Briggs had worked up a head of steam. “Uncle Ed’s friend isn’t any more alive now than he was when my uncle came home. He isn’t any more alive, but everyone around Ed—his girls, his wife, the rest of his family, me—we’re all a little more dead because of him. None of us smile as much, none of us laugh as much, none of us love as much—because we’ve caught his disease. We’ve caught his guilt. Don’t do that to your people, Austin. You did what you could. Your buddy died. It sucks. It really does. But you were in a warzone and none of us joined the service thinking it would be a walk in the park. You saved Chase Edgars—that makes you a hero in everyone else’s eyes but yours. Give yourself a break. Go home and love someone—your family, your friends, a girl—that’s how you bring more life back into the world. Not by clinging to your guilt.”

“Is that all?” Austin reached to turn off the light.

Briggs sighed. “Yeah, that’s all.” He climbed into bed.

Austin hit the switch and the room plunged into darkness.

“You know what, Hall?”

It was Austin’s turn to sigh. “What?”

“Donovan would kick your ass for acting this way.”

Austin rolled over and tried to go to sleep. But no matter what Briggs said, he couldn’t let the past go.

It wouldn’t let him.

*    *    *

WHEN ELLA REACHED LAX this time, she took the first flight available. Now it was nearly midnight and she sat in a Starbucks in Boulder, Colorado, wearing a baseball cap pulled low over her face, yoga pants, running shoes and a light jacket. She’d scrubbed all the makeup from her face and so far no one had noticed her—not even the ticket agent when she purchased the flight here.

“Call me when you get somewhere,” Hank had said back at LAX, walking her as far as he was allowed to go in the airport. They’d agreed it was best that he find employment elsewhere now that there would be no comeback, a move which broke Ella’s heart. She would wire him six months’ severance pay as soon as she was able to communicate with her accountant. Hank said he’d take his wife on a long-overdue vacation and then find a replacement gig.

“I will.”

“Chin up, Ella. Never let the bastards see you sweat.”

“Chin up,” she’d agreed and said good-bye.

Too bad she didn’t know where to go now. She wished Hank was here with her, taking charge like he did when logistics overwhelmed her on a busy day in Los Angeles, but she’d put the West Coast behind her. She couldn’t go to her parents’ place—not after the last time. Too bad she didn’t have any siblings. She could use some right about now.

She was sure that the Hollywood star-watcher blogs and gossip columns were already having a field day with her latest prime-time fiasco. What if Anthony decided to press charges? Would she go to jail? Thank god the paparazzi hadn’t tracked her yet, but she knew it was just a matter of time. If she booked herself into a hotel, the counter person would see her name on her credit card. Maybe she should rent a car and keep on driving.

Or better yet, walk.

Her head ached and more than anything she wanted to curl up and go to sleep, but first she needed to make a plan. She needed to do something unexpected. But what? Where could she go? Where would she be safe from all the prying eyes?

If only she’d never even gone to Hollywood. If only she’d never met Marianne. She’d been perfectly comfortable with her high school dreams of owning horses and becoming an equine therapist—just like the star of her favorite television show. She shook her head at the memory, but it conjured up a wistfulness that surprised her. She missed country life. She missed horses. Maybe she would have been happier owning a ranch.

She certainly wasn’t happy as an actress.

Swallowing against the ache in her throat, Ella checked her phone for the first time. Sure enough, her inbox was crammed with texts from Marianne.

She jabbed at one at random, only realizing as she did so that Marianne wouldn’t be sympathetic. She’d worked her ass off to give Ella this second chance. As she went to click it off again, she saw the time stamp. Marianne had sent this text well before Morning with Myra started, so it was probably a pep talk to get her ready for the show.

Good luck, Babycakes! If you’re nervous, maybe this will give you a laugh.

Ella blinked against the sudden sting of tears. This was Marianne to a T; always sending her jokes or links or videos that made her laugh out loud. This was why she put up with her friend’s bossiness and ambition. Marianne made life so much fun.

Thinking she needed a laugh more now than she ever had, Ella clicked the link. It led to a dating site profile starring one of the handsomest men she’d ever seen. He wasn’t an actor like Anthony—he was wearing a military uniform, with short, buzz-cut hair, a hard jaw and piercing eyes. His name was Austin Hall and he was apparently looking for a wife. A fake wife. Reading his post, she saw immediately why Marianne thought it was funny. Austin Hall was no romantic. He spelled out his needs bluntly—a woman to play his wife for one year. He made it just as clear what he could offer in return—his name, a home and an income. Why would a man that handsome want a fake spouse? And who would respond to such an ad? Who would enter a pretend, loveless marriage and move to the back of beyond in Montana for an entire year?

Ella blinked.

Someone like her.

She stifled a laugh. That was crazy. She couldn’t run off with a man she didn’t know. But she found herself reading the ad again instead of navigating away.

This Austin Hall had a ranch.

A ranch meant horses, fresh air, country living. All the things she craved so badly—all the things she’d denied herself while pursuing her acting career. The past few months at her family’s home had reminded her how much she loved horses. A ranch would have lots of horses, and a ranch would make a great hiding place, too. Besides, no one knew her in Montana—well, not unless they were a fan.

Had Marianne unknowingly given her the perfect answer to the question of where to go next?

Ella thought it over carefully. She was aware of the danger involved in meeting a stranger who placed an online ad, but she knew the drill—she’d make sure their first encounter would be in a public place. She could suss him out and decide whether to go through with it or not. She had plenty of resources, too, should things go south. Money. Connections.

Hank.

She chewed her lip thoughtfully. Could she marry this soldier, take his name, move onto his ranch and disappear into rural Montana, never to be seen again—at least for the next twelve months? It was crazy—but was it crazy enough to work?

She might as well get in touch with the man, she decided. Check into the situation. It was the last thing anyone would expect her to do—even the people closest to her. If anything, they’d expect her to fly to Europe and hide out in an exclusive spa.

A ranch in Montana? Married to a cowboy?

No one would look for her there.

Chapter 3

‡

DRESSED AGAIN AND alone in the recreation hall an hour later, too tired to boot up a video game, too tense to try to sleep again, Austin reflexively checked his e-mail and sighed when he saw a spate of replies to his Wife Wanted ad. Their subject lines weren’t kind. One read, “Go home, loser.” Another read, “No fakers needed.” Another said, “Would love to get to…” and when he clicked on the email, finished, “…kick your butt across town for such a stupid ad.”

Who knew his attempt to make a match based on mutual need rather than mutual lust would arouse such anger in the female population? Apparently women didn’t mess around when it came to love and marriage. He figured he’d better pull his profile from the dating site and try some other method. But what? He ticked the messages off one by one and deleted them, then grimaced when a new one popped up. For fuck’s sake, it was like playing whack-a-mole.

He moved his thumb to delete this one, too, but the tagline stopped him. Let’s Make a Deal. Huh. That was different—more in line with what he’d expected. Intrigued despite himself, bracing for another vitriolic message, he opened it up to find a short note.

I’ve done nothing illegal, but I’ve taken every wrong turn it’s possible to take. I want a quiet, safe haven for the next twelve months. I don’t want love or lies. I don’t need your money or your support. All I need is a place to start over. I love country living, the outdoors and horses. Once I arrive at your ranch and take your name, I don’t intend to leave it until the year is up. In exchange, I ask that you keep my identity a secret. If I can remain anonymous, I’ll marry you and then set you free.

Ella

Attached to the email was a low-quality photograph of a woman in her late twenties or early thirties, which he guessed she’d snapped with her phone. She had clear blue eyes, silvery blonde hair, looked tall and almost model thin, but had a figure most models would think was too voluptuous. Her clothes were nothing special—the type of thing women put on to go to the gym. She wore a baseball cap, and it looked like her hair had been pulled through the back of it to cascade down to her shoulder in a messy ponytail. She wore no makeup, but that didn’t stop her from being one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen. She looked vaguely familiar—but he couldn’t place her. They certainly hadn’t met before.

Why would a woman like this pursue a fake Wife Wanted ad she’d found online—especially one like his? Why wasn’t this woman already married?

She was running from something. Every instinct told him it was true.

He read her note again. She’d done nothing illegal, just made some bad choices. Well, lots of people shared that story. He wouldn’t hold it against her. She said she didn’t need his money, either. That was something. A place to start over? He could give her that. As for never leaving the ranch and keeping her last name a secret? He wasn’t entirely sure that would work. She’d have to meet Heloise, for one thing—although he could arrange for his aunt to come to the ranch. People in town would talk if his wife didn’t show herself, however. Could they come up with a cover story to explain her desire for privacy?

Maybe.

He’d sure be willing to leave her alone.

Although…

Something stirred within him as he looked at her photo again. It wasn’t a seismic shift. It didn’t herald a return of his spirit from the empty place it had inhabited for so long. It was nothing to take note about. Just a… hum of curiosity. It wasn’t just her beauty that caught his attention; it was the haunted look in her eyes, the yearning he saw there for… something.

He wouldn’t mind being that something.

Austin caught himself. Shook his head at his own stupidity. She wasn’t yearning for him, and even if she was, he didn’t care. He didn’t mean to get tangled up in a relationship. This was strictly a business deal.

Still, his gaze returned to the photograph.

Who was this woman? Would she really marry him?

Might as well find out.

His note back was terse.

We’ll be married next Monday morning as soon as you arrive in Chance Creek, and get to work fixing up my ranch Monday afternoon. I’ve just left the Army and am returning home for the first time in twelve years. I’ll arrive in Montana on Thursday to attend my brother’s wedding. By the time you get there, I’ll be alone on the ranch.

This is small town living, Ella. It’s a hard life but an honest one, and I’m an honest man. I’ll do my best to protect your identity, but we’ll have to come up with a cover story that works. Ask your questions now. When your feet touch Montana soil, I’ll expect you to live up to your promises.

There. That oughta scare her off.

*    *    *

ELLA STARED AT the note in her inbox, her brows climbing so high they’d probably disappeared right off her forehead. This soldier—this cowboy—didn’t mince words, did he? But his answer stopped the tears that had been threatening again. She couldn’t afford to cry until she was alone—so alone that not a single camera could find her. That meant no crying in the airport. Not in a bathroom stall or anywhere else. People were always watching and everyone carried a camera these days. No one—no one—was going to profit off of her pain if she had anything to say about it.

She read the soldier’s note again. Get married next Monday? To someone she’d never met?

Make a life with him on a Montana ranch for the next year?

She sure had questions. One in particular. She called up Austin’s photograph again and studied the features of his handsome face. Clicked resolutely back to answer him.

What about sex?

*    *    *

AUSTIN RUBBED A hand over his jaw and swore, his eyes never leaving the line on his screen.

What about sex?

Yeah, Austin, what about it? When he’d written the ad he’d figured he’d made it clear that sex was out of the question. Roommates didn’t have sex, or at least they weren’t supposed to.

But this was the real world and Ella was a beautiful woman. She had every right to ask. He didn’t want entanglements, which is why he’d set up this kind of a marriage. He didn’t want love. Didn’t want the house, picket fence and two-point-five kids.

But what about sex?

Hi groin tightened in an immediate response. Sex sounded just fine, thank you very much—as often as possible, if her photo was any indication of the real woman. But Austin pushed those feelings aside. Sexual relations with his fake wife weren’t part of the plan. This was business, not pleasure.

Why not combine them?

He heard the words in Donovan’s voice and answered his friend sternly. Because that’s not a good idea. Still, he couldn’t help considering the matter.

Would he honestly require himself—and Ella—to be celibate for an entire year?

Could he ask that of her?

Hell, could he ask that of himself, faced with such a tempting partner, day after day?

Maybe not. He was a realist. He had to be, in his line of work. Living with a pretty woman all that time, he’d have a weak moment. Or she would.

So what did they do about it? Prepare for it? Schedule it in?

His body gave another internal lurch, like a rusted-out motor coughing to life. Scheduling it in might be nice.

Austin rested his elbows on the table and stared at the computer. Brought up Ella’s photo again. What would she be like in bed? Tender? Wild?

That wasn’t for him to speculate on. Uncomfortably aware that he was half-hard and this was a public area, Austin concentrated on her text. He was acting like some out-of-control teenager and that wasn’t like him at all. He didn’t need this kind of drama right now.

He began to type again.

Sorry, sex is off the table.

He swallowed hard and kept going.

I’ll expect you to rise before dawn with me and do the work that needs to be done. Ranch life means hard work and plenty of it, but you’ll have time for your own pursuits—and the freedom and privacy to pursue them.

Any more questions?

*    *    *

ELLA READ AUSTIN’S reply and sat back. Sex was off the table, was it? She wasn’t sure why a frisson of disappointment slid through her at this news. Exhaustion, most likely. Austin’s answer was actually a relief—the last thing she wanted was a new relationship, especially with a man she didn’t know. This marriage was supposed to be an escape plan—not a raunchy fling with a hot cowboy. She hoped Austin was clear about that.

She was glad sex was off-limits. Ecstatic, even. But she navigated back to Austin’s photo and tapped her finger against her phone. What kind of lover would Austin be? Thorough? Aggressive?

She rolled her eyes and called up his latest message.

Questions?

She didn’t have any more questions, except for one.

Was she really going to marry this stranger?

Yes.

The answer came strong and unswerving, surprising her with its vehemence. She wanted out. She wanted to escape from Hollywood. She wanted to hide from the columnists and bloggers who were ready to tear her apart. Her phone kept pinging with an unending landslide of messages. Everyone wanted to know where she was, how she felt, what she thought of Anthony and Kaylee—not because they cared about her, but because they wanted to exploit the information for their own gain.

Marianne’s latest messages were the same as all the others. Where was she? Why had she run away? When would she come back and repair her reputation?

Ella didn’t answer any of them. She didn’t need to. Now she had a plan.

No more questions. I’m in if you are.

She pushed send and held her breath. If Austin knew anything about Hollywood, he could take her texts and photo and sell them to the highest bidder among the various tabloids. It would serve her right for taking such a chance.

But he’d given no sign that he recognized her. She prayed that he wouldn’t—not until she’d married him, anyway.

And then what?

Then she’d use the next twelve months to create a real life for herself—without Anthony or Marianne or Hollywood. She had her savings. She had nowhere else to be.

Time to start over.

*    *    *

I’M IN IF you are.

Austin’s body surged again, a mixture of adrenaline and testosterone he hadn’t felt in far too long.

Damn, he’d found a wife. He was getting married in a week.

And he’d just declared sex off limits.

He struggled against the unfamiliar feelings that popped and fizzled under his skin. He’d been right to lay down that law, hadn’t he?

Yes, he had. He was done with all that. Didn’t deserve it, anyway.

Text me your arrival time in Chance Creek, Montana. I’ll come get you.

Ella answered quickly.

Will do. I’ll be the one in the wedding dress.

Chapter 4

‡

A WEEK LATER, Ella smoothed a tendril of hair back from her face and regarded her reflection in the ladies’ room mirror. The Chance Creek Regional Airport was small, but even here Homeland Security kept friends and relatives near the front of the airport to wait for arrivals. That gave her an opportunity to slip into the washroom and change before she met her husband-to-be.

Her husband-to-be.

Now that the moment had come, she was more nervous than she’d ever been in front of a camera. She was marrying a man she didn’t know. A man so hot, he made her—

Nope. She wasn’t going there. Even if the cowboy had slipped into her daydreams a dozen times or more during the past week.

Now Austin Hall, whoever he was, waited out there for her, ready to gather her up and take her home. It was already ten o’clock in the morning, so if he wanted to squeeze in a wedding before lunch, she’d be married within the next two hours.

On impulse she dialed Hank’s number. He picked it up almost instantly.

“I said call when you get somewhere!”

She laughed at his angry growl. “I just got somewhere. I’ve been on the lam all week. I haven’t even called my parents.”

“Where did you get? Is it safe?”

Ella’s heart throbbed painfully. Hank truly cared about her. At any time in the last three months he could have spilled his guts to a tabloid and made money off of her story, but he hadn’t and she was sure he never would. “I think so. I’m in Montana. I’m going to live on a ranch for the next year.”

“A ranch, eh? Going to be a cowgirl?”

“Something like that. What do you think? Did I do good?”

“As long as you aren’t shacking up with an Anthony clone. Not a lot of actors in Montana, are there?”

“I don’t think so.” But Hank’s words had hit close to home. “I’ve got to go. I’m getting picked up right now.”

“Be safe, chickadee. Keep in touch.” He hesitated. “I miss you. It ain’t the same out here without you.”

“I’m so sorry I keep screwing up—” She still felt bad that when she’d lost her career, Hank had lost his job, too.

“I’ve already got plenty of clients lined up to keep me busy when I’m back from my vacation.” He overrode her words. “Me and Annie are just fine. We’re heading to Hawaii next week—you don’t worry about us.”

“What’ll I do without you, though?” She grabbed her purse and headed for the door.

“I’m here anytime you need me.”

“Thank you, Hank. You’re the best. Say hello to Annie.”

“Get out there and knock ’em dead. Whatever you do, you’ll be a star.”

Some star, Ella thought as she stowed her phone away. She’d spent the last week driving from place to place in rental cars, trying to keep one step ahead of the press. She’d had two close calls—one in Provo, Utah, when a maid in a hotel had posted Ella’s location on Facebook and a local blogger ambushed her in an elevator. Ella had managed to keep her hand over the camera lens on the blogger’s phone until the elevator stopped. Then she tripped him on the way out, kicked his phone across the lobby and escaped to her rental car before he caught up again.

The second time happened at a campground in Wyoming where she’d resorted to hiding after purchasing a pup tent and a sleeping bag. For the first two nights the campsites around her had been deserted, but on the last night of her stay a couple had set up camp next to her. Ella had done her best to keep out of sight, but when she came face to face with the woman at the ladies’ restroom the following morning, she saw the glimmer of recognition in the woman’s eyes and knew her time was up.

She’d finally dropped the rental car off in Cheyenne this morning and hopped a flight to Chance Creek. Now she was exhausted and jittery from her week on the run and her upcoming meeting with Austin Hall.

Her fiancé.

Nerves twisted her stomach into knots and her heart raced under her ribcage. She’d traveled in jeans and a T-shirt she picked up at a store along the way, but now she would change into an elegant light blue sheath dress paired with classic high heeled pumps she’d purchased in Cheyenne. She’d left her real wedding dress back in California months ago, of course. She didn’t miss Anthony or Hollywood at all. The dress, however—she would have been very happy to get the chance to wear it.

Still, even if it had been appropriate for Chance Creek, Montana, it was tainted by association with Anthony. She wanted a fresh start, which meant a new dress. This one was a little worse for wear after twenty-four hours in a small carry-on bag, but it would have to do. At least it flattered her. Her husband should be pleased.

She struggled quickly into the elegant sheath and pumps, and patted her hair back into its updo that showed off her regal neck and shoulders. Not as good as a professional could have made it, but good enough for Chance Creek. She slid an unassuming pair of sunglasses on, hoping that no one would spot her.

Time to find Austin Hall.

She wasn’t sure why her appearance mattered so much to her at this moment—she wasn’t seducing the man after all, fantasies or no fantasies—but the thought of a husband, fake or not, who didn’t like her looks was simply too depressing. It was bad enough not a single family member or friend even knew about the wedding, let alone would attend it.

Back out in the main corridor, Ella squared her shoulders and paced down the hall, following the rest of the passengers. Austin had texted that he’d wait for her near the baggage carousel.

The single baggage carousel.

She wasn’t sure she’d ever been in such a small airport. There was the carousel, a crowd of people surrounding the gleaming structure with its moving conveyor belt.

And there was Austin Hall. Ella nearly stumbled. He was even more handsome than he’d been in his photograph, his bearing giving away his military background even if he wasn’t in uniform the way she’d pictured him. She was tall, but he was taller, and his broad shoulders and confident stance made her feel delicate in comparison, a sensation that surprised her, because it was so rare. He wore jeans that showed his muscular thighs to perfection, a cotton shirt that stretched over well-defined pecs. He held a tan cowboy hat in hand.

He was hot as hell. A little too casually dressed for her liking, but hot as hell nonetheless. For one instant she forgot about losing the Oscar, forgot about Anthony cheating on her with Kaylee, forgot about the debacle on the Morning with Myra show. Her whole attention narrowed down to a single point as she focused on the cowboy to whom she’d soon be wed. Why had she agreed sex was off-limits? Why would she not throw herself into this ex-soldier’s arms and let him screw Anthony right out of her memory?

Ella swallowed in a suddenly dry throat. Because he was a complete stranger and this was a business deal, not a hot fling. She was determined not to let her nerves—or her runaway libido—show. Walking straight up to him, she said, “Austin Hall?”

He shook the hand she offered. “Yes. Ella?”

He gave no indication that he knew who she was and betrayed none of his thoughts as he scanned her. She kept her sunglasses on, fighting back a nervous smile. At least something was going right. Sooner or later, someone would recognize her, but so far everyone was too busy with their own reunions to pay any attention to her. “Yes.” She looked past him and spotted her bag tumbling down the ramp and onto the carousel. “That’s my suitcase.”

She lunged for it, but Austin beat her, picking up the small piece of luggage like it weighed nothing.

“Any others?”

“No.” She hoped they would leave quickly, before anyone noticed her. Before she made a fool out of herself staring at Austin. She clasped her hands together, thoroughly at a loss for what to say or do next.

“Let’s go.”

He was a man of few words, she mused as she followed him to the exit. A true cowboy, then. Outside, warm June air swept over her and she breathed deeply, enjoying the sweet scent of burgeoning nature. This was what she’d craved all those years she’d spent in Los Angeles. Austin pressed his hat onto his head and turned to her.

“Reverend Halpern’s waiting for us at the church where we’re due in about thirty minutes. I won’t have time to take you home first. Hope that’s not a problem.” His tone was almost gruff, as if her arrival had put him out. She wondered what he had better to do.

Probably lots of things.

He stopped by a battered red Chevy truck and heaved her luggage into the bed. Ella winced. Oh well. The overnight bag would survive. When Austin opened the passenger door for her, she approached, but hesitated before she climbed in. “We’ll be married at a church?” She’d expected a Justice of the Peace affair.

“At a church,” he affirmed in a voice that told her this was not negotiable. “Is that a problem?”

This was the closest they’d come to each other—too close. Suddenly her senses came alert. Austin smelled like soap, sweat and something outdoorsy. In other words, delicious. His jaw was hard, his eyes sharp as they returned her gaze. Ella hadn’t been so aware of a man in a long time.

“No. That isn’t a problem.”

“Here’s the paperwork to look over. We’ll stop first at the Notary Public to witness it. Then head to the church.”

*    *    *

ELLA WAS GORGEOUS. Not just pretty. Gorgeous. She wore clothes that didn’t come from any Montana shop and shoes that made him think of classic nineteen-forties movies. She was tall, with icy blonde hair and a face that would stop traffic. She’d kept her sunglasses on until they reached the truck, but now she tugged them off and he got a glimpse of wide blue eyes.

She took his breath away. He’d heard that expression all his life, but he’d never known what it meant. Not in any visceral sense.

He did now.

Ella was the most stunning woman he’d ever met and he would be married to her in—he glanced at his watch—a little under half an hour.

But why was this poised, classically beautiful woman marrying him?

She sat with her back ramrod straight during the ten-minute drive into Chance Creek, asking a question or two, but saying little else. The stop at the notary’s office was short and uneventful. He’d made sure to pick one whose name he didn’t recognize from his childhood in town and who evidently didn’t recognize him, either. The middle-aged man barely looked at Ella, which showed just how lost in his own thoughts he was. He examined their IDs and witnessed their signatures on the pre-nup, and then they were on their way.

He thought maybe Ella would object once she saw the straight-forward language that stated that in the event of the dissolution of their marriage—something he counted on to happen in early April—that she was entitled to none of his wealth or holdings. Such as they were.

Ella hadn’t batted an eye. He guessed what she’d told him was true—she didn’t need his money. Somehow that was disappointing.

The ride to the Reformed Church took barely five minutes. Ella allowed him to open the door for her when they arrived. Nothing about her bearing so far gave him a clue to what was going on in her head. She was a mystery from top to toe.

A luscious mystery. Give him an hour in bed with her and he’d—

Strike that thought from your mind, soldier. Ella was off limits in every sense.

And he was the fool who’d put her there. Sex is off the table. He could picture Donovan’s reaction to this situation. He’d be laughing his ass off.

“Do you need anything from your bag?” Austin asked in an effort to get his thoughts back on the straight and narrow, suddenly aware that he’d presumed a lot when he’d decided they would marry right after her arrival in town. Most women would have wanted time to primp and preen. They would have demanded to be taken home first to rest and change. They would have wanted to be surrounded by friends and family, the entire ceremony recorded in photographs and video.

Not Ella.

She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

Upon entering the church, she hesitated only for a moment behind the rows of pews to lift her hand to smooth her hair into place. Then she turned to him and raised an eyebrow. How could she be so calm and collected when his palms were sweaty and he had the distinct feeling he wouldn’t be able to repeat his vows?

But wait. His gaze honed in on her lips as she wet them with her tongue.

She was nervous, too.

Chapter 5

‡

THE REVEREND JOE Halpern, who according to Austin was an old family friend, bustled out of the vestry and strode up the center aisle of the modest white-walled church to meet them. Ella, who had been fighting to maintain a veneer of calm and poise during her arrival at the airport and the trip to the notary, now felt her heart kick up another notch. She wanted the ceremony over and done with before anyone recognized her. She wanted to be safe on Austin’s ranch before anyone pointed out to him that she was supposed to have wed Anthony at four o’clock Saturday afternoon. Before anyone realized she and Austin couldn’t possibly have a relationship and put a stop to the marriage. If she could just get through this next hour, she should be scot free.

When she’d asked Austin why he’d chosen a church wedding rather than a town hall one, he’d answered succinctly. “No one will believe in us if we get married by a Justice of the Peace. The Halls have always been married in church.”

He’d said it like the Halls were local celebrities. Maybe they were. After all, how little would it take to stand out in a town this size? She hoped that didn’t mean she wouldn’t be able to hide here. As soon as she gained the ranch, she meant to disappear from public view.

Now, as she took in her surroundings, she saw why Austin preferred them to the cold atmosphere of a county clerk’s office. The spartan, white-walled church was plain and simple, and beautiful for all that. There was something holy about the space that she wouldn’t have felt in an over-ornamented cathedral. The effect both soothed her and struck a chord in her heart—if only the marriage she was entering into was as real, pure and true as her surroundings.

“Austin, it’s good to see you again. Did your brother and his wife get off okay?” The reverend was a stocky, middle-aged man with graying hair. Under other circumstances Ella was sure she would have liked him. But when he sent her a curious glance, she thought he might be her worst enemy.

“Yes, they did. You did a great job at the wedding, Reverend.”

The two men clapped each other on the back and Ella bit her lip. Austin had mentioned his brother’s wedding. Was it some kind of sibling rivalry that made him want to rush to tie the knot? She remembered what his ad had said—I don’t need to know your story and you don’t need to know mine. She would have to keep her curiosity in check. Which was okay, as long as he did, too.

“And this must be Ella. I have to admit I was very surprised to hear about this wedding of yours, Austin. I would have thought since your family was all assembled for Mason’s wedding, you would have held yours at the same time—or at least introduced your bride to everyone. In fact, I have to admit I’m surprised this particular wedding is taking place at all.”

Reverend Halpern’s expression was kind, but Ella’s heart sank. Something in his eyes told Ella he knew exactly who she was and knew, too, that she was supposed to have married Anthony.

Her chest tightened. Was she to be humiliated again?

“I didn’t want to steal my brother’s thunder,” Austin said smoothly, but there was a thread of iron in his words. “He and Regan had their day all planned out.”

“Does that mean this wedding was something of a… last minute arrangement?” Reverend Halpern turned to Ella, who once again fought desperately to keep her feelings hidden behind a mask of calm. “Ella Scales. What a pleasure to meet you. A very unexpected pleasure.”

Well, that was that. The jig was up—he knew exactly who she was. “Thank you,” she managed. Thank God she knew how to act under pressure. She was determined that if Halpern wanted to ruin the wedding, he’d have to do it all on his own. Nothing in her demeanor would give the good reverend the slightest scrap to work with. “I can’t wait to get started.” She smiled her best thousand-watt smile.

“Well,” Reverend Halpern said, obviously taken aback. He looked from one to the other as if waiting for an explanation. Neither of them gave one. “I suppose we shouldn’t keep the bride waiting. Tell me, how did you two meet?”

Ella’s heart skidded to a stop. Was he going to keep pushing until he found out the whole story? But before her panic could overwhelm her, Austin spoke again.

“Listen, Reverend. There’s a lot you don’t know about what I’ve been through these past years. It’s been… rough. You have no idea how much I’ve looked forward to coming home, settling down and living in peace and quiet on my family’s property. I’m not Mason.” He held Halpern’s gaze. “I don’t like crowds, or fuss, and the fewer people asking questions the better. I don’t mean to be rude. You’re an old family friend. You have my best interests at heart. But you have to trust me. Ella and I are going to get married today—here, or somewhere else. We’d like you to perform the ceremony. Can you do that for me, Reverend?”

Ella’s respect for her soldier husband-to-be went up a notch. It would take a strong man to counteract the steel in his voice. Halpern struck her as a man who could be strong when his faith demanded it, but after searching Austin’s face for a long moment, he straightened. “Yes, I can do that for you. Forgive me. You just have to understand. You and Ms. Scales…” He trailed off and lifted his shoulders in an expressive shrug. “That’s unexpected.”

Austin frowned. “I’ll do my best to be worthy of her.”

He still hadn’t put two and two together, had he? Well, if she’d had a swelled head about her film career, Austin’s ignorance would have punctured it once and for all.

She fell back on her acting again, took Austin’s arm and leaned against him like she needed his support. “Will we be able to get to the ceremony soon? I can’t wait to get you alone, darling.” Austin stiffened under her touch, but he didn’t pull away. Her fingers curled around his biceps, her cheek lay against the fabric of his cotton shirt. Suddenly Austin seemed very real. Very male.

Halpern became all business, checking the watch he wore on his wrist. “I’ve called Bettie Henderson and Donna Renners in as witnesses, since you don’t have any of your own. They should be here any—there they are. Come on down, ladies!”

Two women in their sixties made their way down the aisle and took their places off to the side of Austin and Ella. Ella did her best to keep Austin between her and them, afraid they’d make more of a fuss than Halpern had. The reverend fished around in the lectern and pulled out a file folder. “Just a little paperwork to take care of first,” he said, moving closer. “Can I get some identification from you, Ella?”

She opened her clutch and pulled out her California driver’s license.

“I’ve already filled in your information, Austin,” Halpern said. He got to work while Bettie and Donna whispered, craning their heads to get a better look at her. Ella kept moving, using Austin to block their view, but when Austin leaned over to answer one of the reverend’s questions, he caught her by surprise and left her completely exposed.

Donna and Bettie eyed her avidly and Ella swallowed a groan. Any minute they’d announce who she was and the game would be up, but moments passed and the women didn’t announce anything. She realized from the angle of their gazes they were interested in her designer dress, not her. Maybe she could get away with this after all. Finally, Halpern straightened. “Okay, you two. Ready to get started?”

“Yes, sir,” Austin said. He glanced her way and all thoughts of Bettie and Donna fled from her mind. Was she really going through with this?

A wave of dizziness overtook her. She was in a church, in Montana, standing next to a cowboy who would soon be her husband, even if it was only for one year.

“Ready?” he asked her gently. He touched her arm, probably sensing her wavering resolve.

Now that it was time for the ceremony, she wasn’t sure she could carry this through.

What was she doing, racing away from her career to this tiny pocket of humanity on the edge of nowhere? Did she really want to spend a whole year hanging out with cattle? And cowboys?

She looked into Austin’s steely blue eyes and realized she wanted to. She wanted to spend time with this man, find out what made him tick. Possibly—

He took her hand and squeezed it gently. “What do you say?”

The low, warm tone of his voice traveled through her like an electric bolt, setting every one of her nerves at attention. Her head nodded before she even processed his question.

“Yes.”

*    *    *

AS REVEREND HALPERN started the marriage ceremony, Austin’s heart began to pound, a situation that irritated him. He’d faced far worse than matrimony during his time abroad.

Far worse.

So why was marrying this beautiful woman creating such a surge of adrenaline that his heart was beating triple-time? He could barely hear the words the reverend was saying about the nature and purpose of marriage between a man and his wife.

When Reverend Halpern asked Ella if she would take Austin to be her husband, forsaking all others, she looked him in the eye and spoke her answer calmly and clearly, the mask she’d worn since she’d met him firmly in place. It had slipped a little when Halpern had questioned their marriage, revealing a panic that nearly matched his own. Then somehow she’d regained control. He wished he could do the same.

“I will.”

Reverend Halpern turned to him.

“Austin, will you have this woman to be your wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?”

Austin took a deep breath. Here he went, telling a bald-faced lie to the man who’d preached to his family for years. “I will.”

Then it was time to repeat his vows. He stumbled through the words, Ella’s right hand lightly in his, his pulse racing in his ears until he wondered if he might really have a heart attack. He was pledging his life to a stranger—and lying like crazy, because he didn’t intend to keep his word.

“Ella,” Reverend Halpern said. “Will you take Austin’s right hand and repeat after me? I, Ella Scales, take you, Austin Hall, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until we are parted by death.”

Ella repeated the lines perfectly, the careful cadence of her smooth, warm voice holding Austin in thrall. When he’d conjured up this plan, he hadn’t thought about the wedding itself. Now a beautiful stranger was pledging before God to cherish him, honor him and stay with him through sickness and health.

Pledging to love him.

Heat pulsed through Austin again.

Reverend Halpern faced them. “The wedding ring signifies to all the uniting of this man and woman in holy matrimony and symbolizes the never-ending nature of their love. May I have the rings, please?”

Austin froze.

Rings.

He hadn’t even thought about rings. He glanced at Ella, not knowing what to do. Fucking hell, he’d screwed up again.

Ella rolled her eyes, slipped two rings off her right hand and passed them to the reverend.

Transfixed by this second glimpse of the real woman behind the mask, the glint of humor that had flashed in her eyes before she sobered again, Austin stared at her, wanting to see it again. She ignored him, however, and finally he returned his attention to the minister, angling his neck to get a look at the rings Ella had deposited in Halpern’s hand. He expected them to be flashy, girly rings and scowled. What terrific memories they’d have of their wedding day to share with their grandkids.

He stilled.

Grandkids?

Hell, now he was losing his mind. The one thing he knew for sure was that there’d be no grandkids.

“Austin.” Halpern turned to him and gave him one of the rings, a delicate white-gold band. “Take Ella’s hand and repeat after me. Ella, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you.”

He did so, not knowing how he formed the words. A rushing in his ears overtook all other sounds. His feet felt a long distance from the rest of him. A bead of sweat traveled down from his neck between his shoulder blades, its torturous tickle accompanying the thump of his heart. Maybe he was losing his mind. Maybe coming home had unhinged him.

“Ella.” The reverend gave her the other ring, a slightly wider, more masculine band, and instructed her in the same way.

Realization sliced through him like a blade between the ribs—these weren’t random rings from her own fingers. They were wedding bands. She’d come prepared, evidently predicting he wouldn’t remember to. He’d failed his bride before they were even wed.

But why did he care? She didn’t want him. Couldn’t want him.

Could she?

He slid a glance her way and was surprised to find Ella looking back at him. She placed the band carefully on his finger, repeating the words Reverend Halpern spoke. As she made her vows, a sensation overcame him unlike anything he’d ever felt before—like the floor had just dropped out from underneath him and he was falling, falling, completely helpless to stop himself. This was madness—marrying a stranger, yoking her life to his, planning to live together, eat together, work together and sleep together until Heloise handed over the deed.

He needed to stop the ceremony. He needed to get out of here.

But the reverend had already launched into a final prayer and benediction. Austin didn’t hear a single word. It was all he could do to stay standing as his heart rate went into overdrive, flashes of light blinding his eyes. What the hell was happening to him? Were these his last moments on earth? Was he about to have an aneurysm?

He dimly heard Halpern conclude. “Now that Ella and Austin have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of a ring in the presence of this company, by the authority of the state of Montana and that of almighty God, I pronounce that they are husband and wife. Those whom God has joined together, let no one put asunder. Austin, you may kiss your bride.”

His bride.

Austin automatically faced the tall, stunning woman he’d just pledged the rest of his life to. She looked back at him expectantly, and when he didn’t bend forward to kiss her, her eyes widened. She was willing him to do something. She was willing him to kiss her—to not embarrass her in front of the Reverend—but he was stuck, still reeling from his reaction to the wedding ceremony. Yes, it was all a pack of lies, but he’d just pledged to love and care for this woman for the rest of his life.

And she’d pledged to love and care for him, too.

Ella strained toward him, willing him to play his part.

And Austin finally realized the breadth of the task he’d taken on. He’d have to play this charade for as long as it took to convince Heloise it was real. He’d have to pretend to love this woman, and what was worse—what was far worse—was that he’d conned her into having to pretend to love him back. A lot could happen in a year. All kinds of things.

He could fall in love for real.

And when their time was up, what then? Ella would want to leave. He’d be alone again. Worthless. Broken. The way he’d been the past fifteen months.

The way he’d always be.

He’d thought he was past caring about anyone or anything, but he’d been wrong, he saw that now. Some part of him still wanted the dream—still wanted to live.

To hell with that, he told himself. This wasn’t about him. This was about Crescent Hall. The only reason he was here in this church—marrying Ella—was to save it for his kin.

But he knew in his heart that was a lie. Knew he hoped for a second chance. Knew that he hoped God might give him one. That Ella might give him one. And so he leaned forward and kissed her, hoping against hope she’d kiss him back.

Ella’s mouth was sweet and spicy all at once. Delicious. Enticing. Alive.

Welcoming.

When he brushed his mouth over hers, she leaned into him just a little—enough to let him know he wasn’t the only one who wanted something here.

Armed with that knowledge, he slid a hand behind her neck and deepened the kiss, searching her mouth with his, hungry for something—he didn’t know what. Hungry for life, maybe. Hungry to be tugged back from the edge of death. Ella met him in the same way, answering him timidly at first, but then demanding more of him. His own hunger must have fanned hers into flames.

When he finally pulled back, he was breathless, but the rushing sound had gone, and while his heart beat fast, he no longer felt like he might crash to the floor.

Reverend Halpern chuckled. “Good. I was getting a little scared you two might have just met each other.”

Both of them jerked around to face him.

“Don’t worry,” the reverend assured them. “Any couple who kisses like that is in love. I should know.”

Chapter 6

‡

THE RIDE HOME was just as silent as the ride from the airport had been. What did you say to the man you’d just met and married? The man who’d just kissed you until you could barely remember your own name. And what came next, now that they’d tied the knot? Ella felt a bone-rattling panic as the next twelve months opened out ahead of her, as empty as an unpacked suitcase. Could she really stay on a ranch for a whole year—never leaving it, not even to go to town? Just a few days ago, the idea felt like a dream come true. Now she wasn’t so sure. Especially after what had just happened in the church.

She’d gone into the ceremony willing to play a part, but halfway through—when it was her turn to state her vows—something had happened. She found herself gazing at Austin and wondering what it would be like if their marriage was real. What it would be like if he was her husband—in every sense of the word.

The idea had left her as breathless as Austin’s kiss. It was a pipe dream, of course. An impossibility.

Now she forced herself to think of other things. Practical things.

What would happen after her year was up? What could she possibly reinvent herself into? A rancher? A cowgirl? An equine therapist, whatever the hell that actually was?

She giggled, then pressed her lips together to stop the incongruous sound. Recognizing she was a heartbeat away from hysteria, she asked the first question that popped into her head.

“What are we having for lunch?”

The expression Austin turned on her was as surprised as one could expect. “Really? Lunch? That’s what’s on your mind?” His low, quiet country drawl sent a shiver down her spine. The man had presence, she had to give him that. Behind the wheel or standing at the front of a church, he attracted her gaze as if there was nothing else to look at. Formidable was the word that came to mind. Formidable and hot. For the first time she considered that she would be alone with this man when they arrived at the ranch. Alone with this… soldier. She already knew he could kiss. What else could he do?

Austin was strong, muscled, his thighs powerful under his pants. His hands capable on the wheel of the truck. His western twang stirred up wicked sensations inside her. His kiss back at the church had surprised her—both its gentleness and then its intensity. She hadn’t meant to do more than kiss him back lightly—like she would kiss a friend at a party, say. Instead, she’d attacked him like a ravenous wolf once she’d gotten her first taste. He’d pulled desire out of her she didn’t even know she had. She’d thought she’d been happy when she’d been with Anthony. She’d thought he’d satisfied her.

Now she knew he hadn’t. But Austin could.

Too bad sex was off the table.

Squashing a desire to roll her eyes at her own melodrama, she decided she couldn’t be attracted to Austin. She didn’t know anything about him at all—not even what he’d done in the military. He was a good kisser, no more, no less. There was no need to read more into the situation.

He could be a lousy lay.

She stopped herself from snorting. “What’s on your mind?” She tried to match his slightly sarcastic tone.

“To be honest, I don’t know. Everything and nothing. I didn’t expect it to feel like this.”

He turned the wheel suddenly and Ella grabbed the armrest as he made a sharp turn into a restaurant parking lot. “What are you doing?”

“You said you were hungry. Let’s eat.”

The sign above the door of the square, squat building read DelMonaco’s. “A steak house?”

“Yeah. Why not?”

There were a thousand reasons she didn’t want to walk through that door, but she settled on the easiest to explain. “I’m a vegetarian.”

Austin slammed on the brakes, only halfway into a parking space. “You’re a what, now?” He cocked his hat back and stared at her. How could a man make such a casual outfit so damned sexy? She had to tear her gaze away from his wide shoulders straining the seams of his shirt. She’d like those arms of his around her again. His hand resting at her waist.

“A vegetarian. I used to be a vegan.”

“And you thought marrying a cattleman was a good idea?”

“I guess I didn’t think it through.”

“Did you think any of this through?”

“Did you?”

“Maybe not.”

She wondered if that meant he was having second thoughts. He was right. What had she been thinking? Not much, really. In her mind’s eye Austin’s ranch had stretched for miles, with plenty of hiding spots for an actress longing to be out of the public’s eye. Sure, there’d be cattle in the distance, but she’d never thought about the nitty gritty of a cattleman’s life. Her family were horse people. “You don’t slaughter them right on the ranch, do you?”

His look told her just what he thought of her qualms. “No, the butchering is done off site. Don’t tell me you object to the line of work that’s going to feed and house you for the next twelve months.”

It was her turn to make a face. “I don’t need you to feed me, thank you very much. I can do that just fine for myself. And while I find butchering animals distasteful, I’ll admit it wasn’t moral reasons that made me a vegetarian. It was dietary ones.”

“You’re allergic to beef?”

“I’m allergic to fat.”

He slid a look her way. “Your weight looks fine to me.”

“Because I’m a vegetarian. If I wolfed down hamburgers I’d look like the Pillsbury dough boy in about five minutes.”

He sighed. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those women who puts a lettuce leaf on a plate and calls it lunch.”

“My job requires me to watch my weight.” She snapped her mouth shut. Damn it, she hadn’t meant to say that—didn’t want to bring up her work—but she didn’t like his tone or the picture he was painting of her. Yes, she watched her weight. Scrupulously. She had to. Being an actress was like being a model; gain an ounce and lose your job.

“Sounds like a stupid job.” He backed out of the parking space.

“Now where are we going?”

“We’ll try the new restaurant in town. Fila’s. I’ve never eaten there, but Mason said it’s ethnic food. They’re bound to have something you can eat, right?”

She wanted to tell him to take her straight home, but she couldn’t muster the strength to argue with him. She’d demand they get takeout, though. The whole point of being here was for her to hide.

On the other hand, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to be alone with him. She observed him out of the corner of her eye. He sure was a good-looking man. She knew how kissable his mouth was, but the rest of him offered all sorts of possibilities. Shoulders wide enough to carry the weight of the world. Arms strong enough to hold her tight. An athletic build that suggested he’d be all kinds of fun in the sack.

For heaven’s sake.

She was not here to lust after Austin. She would have as little to do with the man as possible. When they got home, she’d explain who she was and why she needed to keep her presence here a secret. She wouldn’t leave the ranch again.

A minute or two later, Austin parallel parked in front of a small restaurant called Fila’s Familia. Ella’s lips twitched when she realized it served both Afghan and Mexican food. Austin was right; surely she could find something to eat here.

And she was ravenous. Her stomach let out a long growl as her hunger swept over her. She clapped a hand over it in a vain hope to make it stop.

“When’s the last time you ate?” Austin’s blue eyes regarded her as if she was some strange species whose place in taxonomy he wanted to establish.

She thought back. “Yesterday—lunch time.”

He heaved another sigh. “You are one of those women.”

“I am not one of those women.” One hand on the door, she turned on him.

“You look like one of them.”

“Stop looking at me then!” Every tabloid in the world talked about her weight. First they labeled her anorexic. The next month they turned around and accused her of runaway weight gain. She was sick of people’s obsession with her body.

“All right, all right. I take it back. You’re too pretty not to look at.” A hint of a smile tugged at his lips. Then it was gone as quickly as it had come and the cowboy looked away.

Was he embarrassed? He hadn’t even asked what she did, she realized. He must not care. Whereas she suddenly found herself chock full of questions about him.

She got out of the truck before she could open her mouth and start asking them. He wanted his privacy and he’d guaranteed hers. That’s what she wanted, so she’d be satisfied with it. She patted her sunglasses back in place.

“Let’s make this fast.”

“You in a rush to get home?”

Home. The word danced a shiver down her spine. His ranch was now her home. “I told you in my e-mail, I came here to… hide. I’ll come in to order my lunch, but then we need to be on our way.”

“Tell me one thing.” Austin blocked her way forward. “Are you running from the law?”

“No.” She could say that with a clear conscience. There was nothing illegal about escaping from the paparazzi.

“Okay, then.” Austin moved to open the restaurant door for her, and she decided that whatever else, he’d been raised to be a gentleman. As long as he didn’t turn into a psychopath when they got home, all would be well.

They were greeted by a cheerful restaurant interior of earthy reds and yellows. A menu was written in chalk on a huge chalkboard hanging on the wall behind the counter. Tables and booths filled the front of the restaurant, several of them containing chatting customers. The aroma made Ella’s stomach growl again. She kept her sunglasses on and longed for her baseball cap as they moved into the restaurant. This was a mistake. Too many people could see her. Any one of them could betray her presence to the world.

She paced straight to the counter, her gaze firmly on the menu, determined to order quickly and return to the truck. She scanned a section labeled vegetarian. The mixture of Mexican, Afghan and fusion dishes was quite remarkable—the last thing she’d expected in such a small western town. She was looking for a salad when Austin leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Remember, it’s your wedding day. Live a little.”

His breath tickled her neck and she shot him an exasperated glance, once more all too aware of him, but when her gaze returned to the menu, she found herself focusing on the vegetarian Afghan tacos—Afghan spiced veggies, beans, rice and cheese layered into naan and served with spiced yogurt instead of salsa. It sounded delicious.

And very fattening.

But she’d walked away from her acting career for good, hadn’t she? She’d maintained a radio silence for over a week. No one knew where she was—not even her family—and no one knew she was married, either.

Married.

She twisted the ring on her finger. The one she’d bought for herself. She and Anthony had purchased their real set months ago, soon after they’d become engaged, and Anthony had held onto them—one of the few things he’d taken an interest in. But as the wedding grew closer, she’d been overwhelmed with fear that he’d lose them before the ceremony. She’d purchased another set on her own and carried them in her purse ever since. She’d felt that if she didn’t keep them on hand at all times, she’d somehow forget to bring them on the one day that mattered, and if both she and Anthony forgot the rings, what would that say about their marriage?

She must have already known it was doomed.

She didn’t know what made her slip them on her finger earlier today—perhaps instinct had warned her that a man who advertised for a wife might not remember details like a ring.

It galled her that she and Austin were wearing the ones she’d bought out of fear, ones that had Anthony’s taint on them, but really, what difference did it make? She and Austin hadn’t married for love, had they? They’d married for practicality and nothing said practical like a pair of backup wedding rings.

She sensed the few customers’ gazes lingering on her hair and face. Her dress was out of place here—too exquisite for lunch at a casual eatery. Sooner or later someone would decide she was who she looked to be.

What then? She should tell Austin what he was in for. She should have told him earlier, before he yoked his life to hers.

The door to the kitchen swung open, and a moment later she found herself face to face with a very young, very pretty and very pregnant woman with a waist-length ponytail of shiny black hair and a nametag that read, Mia.

The young woman shrieked, then clapped a hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she hissed, “but you’re Ella Scales! You’re the runaway bride!” Ella jerked her head around, but the other customers seemed not to have heard. “No one knows where you are. The whole country has been looking for you since you clocked Anthony with that coffee cup.” Mia’s eyes were huge. “I can’t believe you’re here. Why are you in Chance Creek?”

“You two know each other?” Austin was frowning and Ella didn’t blame him. This must seem highly suspicious to someone who didn’t realize who she was.

“Everyone knows Ella Scales!”

There was a commotion in the kitchen, the doors opened again and another young woman with thick, dark lustrous hair, brown eyes and a wide smile rushed out. Her nametag read Camila. “It is Ella Scales! Our very first celebrity!” She whispered just like Mia had, but she had a slight Mexican accent and her apron and corn flour-dusted hands proclaimed her as one of the chefs. Behind her a third woman hovered in the doorway, also dark-haired and dark-eyed, but something about her made Ella certain she represented the Afghan side of the restaurant’s equation. Her nametag read Fila, and she held back as the other two enthused over Ella. Ella wished she could pull back and hide on the sidelines in a similar way.

“Shh! Please—I don’t want anyone to know,” she begged them.

“I don’t understand—what’s going on here?” Austin said loudly.

Mia turned her gaze on him. “This is Ella Scales!” She pitched her voice low, but her excitement was all too evident.

“I know who she is, I just married her, didn’t I? But the name is Ella Hall now.”

Ella wanted to drop her head in her hands. Sure enough, the women behind the counter shrieked again. A silence behind her told Ella this time the restaurant’s patrons were paying attention.

Mia regained her speech first. She leaned over the counter and spoke hurriedly, her voice barely a whisper. “You dumped Anthony Black to marry Austin Hall? Our Austin Hall? I’m Mia, by the way.” She reached over the counter to shake hands.

“I’m Camila Torres,” the second woman said, holding out her hand as well. Ella shook with both of them automatically. What else could she do?

“Anthony Black?” Austin leaned forward, too. “Like… the Anthony Black?” His voice was low, but his question was urgent.

Anger sliced through her fear. So he knew Anthony’s name, did he? “That’s the one. Although he dumped me,” she said through tight lips.

“You were going to marry Anthony Black? The actor?”

She nodded, growing more irritated. What was it about Anthony that made everyone look at him? Remember him. Worship him. Even when they didn’t recognize her?

Austin looked her up and down. This was it—the moment when he realized just who he’d married. But his confusion didn’t lift. “Who the hell are you?” he finally asked.

Mia’s eyebrows shot up. Camila looked equally shocked.

“I’m your wife. Ella Hall,” Ella said pointedly, but when his gaze narrowed and his jaw hardened, she added, “Formerly Ella Scales—the actress. And yes, I was going to marry Anthony Black until he announced on television he was screwing around with someone else. If you had watched the Academy Awards this spring, you would know all about it. And that,” she leaned toward him to make her point clear, “is the last I ever want to hear about either of them. Do you understand me? I came here to get away from all of that.”

After an uncomfortable moment, Austin nodded slowly, his gaze traveling over her more carefully than it ever had before. She had the feeling he was finally seeing her. Whatever had made him want to marry a stranger must have prevented him from taking her in previously. Now he took a good, long look.

She didn’t like his scrutiny, so she turned to the two women she’d just shaken hands with and the third hanging back by the door to the kitchen. “That goes for you, too. I’m no longer Ella Scales. I’m just plain old Ella Hall. No more acting. No more Hollywood. I want to be left alone. Utterly and completely alone. If you so much as whisper my name to a reporter, I swear I’ll skin you alive!”

Mia, wide-eyed, nodded.

Camila cocked her head. “You should have won that Oscar. You’re a far better actress—”

Ella held a hand up to stop her. “Done. Finished. Never want to hear about it again. Understand? Once I leave this restaurant, Austin’s taking me to his ranch. I don’t intend to leave it again anytime soon. If even one reporter shows up there, I’ll know that one of you three sent them. And there will be hell to pay.”

Camila looked like she wanted to say something, but an elbow from Mia shut her up. Fila peered at them curiously and moved to join her friends.

Mia put an arm around her. “Sure thing. We won’t tell a soul that you’re here, Ms. Scales. This is Fila, by the way. This is her restaurant.”

“Hi, Ms. Scales,” Fila said.

“Mrs. Hall,” Austin corrected them both sharply.

Mia chuckled. “Can I take your order, Mr. and Mrs. Hall?”

“Let’s make it to go,” Ella said.

When they were done ordering, and Camila and Fila had returned to the kitchen, Mia said, “Your food will take a few minutes. You can go wait outside if you want to keep a low profile. I’ll bring your order out.”

“Sounds like a good idea. You can’t miss us. We’ll be in the red Chevy truck.” Austin ushered Ella back outside and held the truck’s door open for her. Ella climbed in, her appetite gone. Her plan to slip into an anonymous existence at Austin’s ranch was sliding out of reach. She slumped down sideways in her seat, her back to the window, as Austin got into the driver’s side, pulled out his phone, tapped away at it, then stared at its screen before turning it to face her.

Runaway Hollywood Actress Still Missing, the headline proclaimed. Ella cringed at the photos of her. One must have been snapped at the Academy Awards, probably when Kaylee first kissed Anthony. Another showed the moment of impact when she smashed the coffee cup against Anthony’s head.

“You didn’t think it important to tell me you were supposed to marry someone else?”

“You said right in your ad you didn’t need to know my story,” she snapped.

Austin scrubbed a hand over his face. “And that’s all the apology I’m going to get, huh?”

“What secrets are you hiding?” she challenged him.

He looked away. “I guess that’s fair.” When she didn’t answer, he added, “Nothing like yours—no ex-fiancées.”

She frowned at his tone. He sounded—jealous. “I’m glad to hear that. But something must have made you want a fake marriage.”

“There’s nothing fake about this marriage.” Austin leaned toward her. “We may have made an arrangement others would find unusual, but we took the same vows everyone else makes. This is it—there’s no going back. Not for a year, Ella.”

Why did his words bring every nerve in her body to attention? They were possessive. Challenging.

Wrong.

Well, maybe not wrong, but not right, either. They didn’t belong to each other—not like married couples were supposed to. They were using each other. He had no right to make any demands on her, and she had no right to expect anything from him, either. They were two single people who had pledged to live together to accomplish their respective goals.

“I didn’t say I wanted to go back. I’m just saying I know you have your secrets, too.”

“And they’ll remain my secrets. I married you because my brothers and I all need to marry before my great aunt will sign the deed to our ranch over to us. Owning the ranch is important to my family—you can’t imagine how important. So I don’t care about your Hollywood tabloid trash or your failed relationships, but if you came here and married me as some kind of twisted publicity stunt, so help me God I will—” He visibly regained control of himself and jerked open his door. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

Ella’s mouth hung open. The veneer of civilization had slid from his features, revealing the hardened warrior his time in the military had made him. She turned to watch him head back to the restaurant. His burst of anger had left her speechless and she wondered if the smartest thing she could do was to make a break for it while he was busy inside.

But something told her she was perfectly safe with Austin Hall. He needed to be married to secure his ranch, and she bet his aunt hadn’t asked for a fake marriage, either. He’d thought he was getting a wife who wanted the same anonymous, peaceful life he did. Instead, he’d gotten a Hollywood star who could bring an army of reporters down on his head at any minute. And the worst of it from his point of view was the idea that he might be the butt of some joke she wanted to play out in front of a national audience.

He was dead wrong about that. And she had to convince him of it before he changed his mind and got their marriage annulled.

She wasn’t done with Austin Hall yet.

*    *    *

BACK IN THE restaurant, Austin shut the door to the single occupancy men’s room and locked it behind him.

An actress. He’d married a Hollywood actress.

All he’d wanted to do when he got home was make good on his promise to his brothers and slide into a private, quiet life on the ranch. And now he’d brought home an actress that had fled from a failed relationship with Hollywood’s biggest star? How soon would hoards of paparazzi swoop down on them and plaster all their faces and stories in the paper? How big would the disruption of their lives be? And would they stick to writing about Ella? Or would he fall into the spotlight, too?

What if they looked into his military career? What if they pointed out for all to see just what kind of a soldier he really was? What if they exposed his Wife Wanted ad and ruined all of their chances to secure the ranch?

Damn. Damn. Damn!

He ran the tap and splashed cold water on his face.

Was there still time to annul the marriage?

No.

The answer came so swiftly it made him scowl. He didn’t want to annul the marriage and he would put up with whatever those tinsel town flunkies threw at them. He’d protect Ella from their unwanted scrutiny, and if Anthony Black ever came near his ranch, he’d—

Austin forced himself to slow down. Anthony Black wasn’t coming to Crescent Hall. Ella had left him behind the same way she’d left behind her career. It was the paparazzi they had to worry about. Now he understood her wish for secrecy. He cursed the ignorance that had made him bring her here. Those women behind the counter wouldn’t be able to keep their mouths shut.

Or maybe they would, if he gave them enough incentive.

If Ella had turned her back on a leading man and a promising career, she must have her reasons. She must want the same things he wanted. Peace. Quiet. Anonymity. This could work, after all.

His reflection grimaced. Then quirked a smile.

He’d married a movie star. A voluptuously beautiful movie star.

Wouldn’t his brothers be jealous?

Another thought occurred to him. Would he be a disappointing second to the most famous man in Hollywood? He wasn’t an actor and he wasn’t even a military hero. He was a colossal screw-up.

Poor Ella Scales. She’d certainly gotten the short end of the stick.

Pulling himself together, he left the men’s room and on his way back to the truck, he told Mia to hurry their order. “And I’ll thank all of you to keep your mouths shut, or I’ll—”

“We will, we get it,” Mia assured him before he could voice his threat. “Your food will be ready in a moment, Mr. Hall, and we won’t let any harm come to you or your wife.”

Austin left the restaurant suitably chastened by Mia’s no-nonsense manner. Small-town people gossiped, but they also protected their own. He’d forgotten that. He climbed back into the truck and started the engine. “Look,” he said to Ella. “I think it’s about time we get a few things straight. I have a past. So do you. We each want to put that behind us and move forward, and there’s bound to be bumps in the road until we get used to being hitched together. But as long as we’re honest with each other—completely honest—we’ll do all right, I expect. The year will pass quickly. I told Mia and her friends to keep it quiet that you’re here. We’ll get you home as soon as possible. Hopefully we’ll be able to contain the information that you’re in town.”

“I appreciate that,” Ella said. “I can’t be in the public eye. I just… can’t.”

Mia rapped on Ella’s window. Austin lowered it with a press of a button. “Enjoy, you two,” she said. “And congratulations. It’ll be nice having you both here, I’m sure. If you ever get hungry, give us a call. One of us can deliver to the ranch.”

Austin thought he might have to shoo her away from the truck, but Mia waved, turned on her heel and left them to it, her long ponytail swinging as she reentered the restaurant.

He drove down the road out of town just far enough until they caught a view of the Absaroka Mountains, then pulled off to the side of the road and parked the truck. Although he was glad to be out of town, he wasn’t ready to bring Ella home quite yet. He felt they needed further discussion on neutral ground.

“Eat up,” he said and opened his container of nachos.

“I’m not that hungry anymore.”

“Look, you must be used to publicity and attention if you’re an actress.”

“Your reaction to finding out who I am wasn’t exactly comforting.”

Austin picked up a chip. “I guess it wasn’t. I thought—”

“I know what you thought. That I might make a fool of you. Austin.” She reached over the seat and touched his arm. Austin stilled, finding it hard to focus on her words when her fingers were warm against his skin. “The night of the Academy Awards, I found out my fiancé was cheating on me with another actress. What’s worse, the whole world found out right along with me. To top it off, that same woman stole my Oscar. I went into hiding for a while. Then I tried to make a comeback, and Anthony and Kaylee screwed it up again.” She stopped. Laughed. “Actually, I screwed it up when I bashed Anthony with my coffee cup. Now every gossip rag out there is hashing out my love life in print. I know what it’s like to be humiliated publicly. I would never do that to anyone else.”

For one fraction of a second her façade cracked and he caught a glimpse of the world of pain she inhabited. It should have made him want to touch her back—to soothe her, to take her into his arms.

It did.

He was the last person she should turn to for comfort or protection, though. He wasn’t capable of saving anyone. But he understood what she meant to say—she wouldn’t play with him. “Okay,” he told her. “I understand. I’m sorry if I was blunt.”

“You’ve been a soldier for a long time.”

He nodded. “Special Forces.” Hell. Why on earth had he said that? Now it sounded like he was fishing for some kind of reaction. That was the last thing he wanted.

“That takes courage.” She didn’t ask him any of the usual questions—where had he served? What had he done? How many enemies had he killed?

How many friends?

“Let’s eat.” He wanted to shift the conversation before he betrayed any secrets he’d meant to keep to himself.

“Okay.” She lifted the taco to her mouth, took a bite. Her whole expression changed to one of wonder. “Oh, this is delicious.” She stared down at the folded naan, bursting with its filling. Yogurt sauce dripped over her fingers and she brought them to her mouth for a quick lick before the sauce slid farther. She deposited the whole mess back into the container she balanced on her knees, swiftly wiped her hands, and attacked it with the plastic fork and knife Mia had thrown in. The sight of her enjoying herself tugged at Austin’s heart. Somehow he knew she didn’t give in to her appetites often. She glanced at him. “How is yours?”

Austin bit into a chip, his own hunger long gone. The first bite brought his taste buds to attention. “Mmm. Good.”

For a few minutes all they did was eat and Austin discovered he was hungry, after all. So was Ella, by the look of things. When she had consumed three-fourths of her taco, she let her plastic ware drop, her expression dismayed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you know how many calories I just ate?”

Not this again. “You said you skipped breakfast and last night’s dinner, right? You can probably afford it.”

She cocked her head. Picked up her utensils again. “I guess you’re right. It’s not like anyone will ever see me again on camera. I might as well get fat.”

There was bitterness in her voice, and Austin felt a pang when he wondered if she already regretted leaving Hollywood behind. What if she changed her mind? What if she wanted to go back? Well, she’d just have to wait until April. “That’s right. From here on in you’re a rancher’s wife. You could use a little meat on your bones.” He bit into another chip, feeling heat climb up his throat. Had he actually just made that idiotic statement?

He glanced her way. Found her looking back at him. Their gazes locked. Held.

Another jolt of energy traveled down Austin’s spine. How could he have missed the sensual star quality she possessed when she sent him her photo? He had seen her in some movie—something he’d caught the tail end of a year or two ago. “Another Night in New York.”

Now it was her turn to flush. She nodded, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “I was in that.”

“I should have figured it out right away.”

She shrugged. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Because then I’d just be some ass who wanted to marry a movie star, rather than some ass who wanted to marry any stranger at all?”

She smiled, and her beautiful face transformed into something softer—more womanly. Even more beautiful. “How do you think this is all going to turn out? Will we make it through a year?”

Her question brought him up short. “I honestly don’t know, but we’d better make it at least until April or I’m in trouble.” He sat back. “Look, everything I said before still stands, movie star or no movie star. I’m damaged goods. I’ve got nothing to give you above and beyond what I stated in my ad.”

“All I need is a name and a home for the next twelve months. I’m curious, though. Why can’t you inherit this ranch without a wife?”

*    *    *

AUSTIN STIFFENED AND she didn’t blame him, but she held her ground. He knew all her secrets now; she might as well know his.

“My Great Aunt Heloise controls it right now and she’s a piece of work. You’ll meet her soon, and your performance will have to be perfect to fool her. I guess I have to go back a bit to explain.” He fiddled with a chip. “My father, Aaron Hall, and my uncle, Ezekiel Hall, co-owned the ranch. It’s called Crescent Hall, which is also the name of the main house on it. When my father passed away, it became all Zeke’s. He died without designating a new heir for it, even though he has a grown son, Darren. Darren can’t stand ranching. Zeke knew the place would fall apart in his hands, not that Zeke did much better himself. Anyway, when he died, Heloise inherited it back. She wants to pass it to me and my brothers. But she wants to know for certain there will be an heir to hand it down to when all of us kick the bucket.”

“So she’s forcing you to get married.” Austin’s explanation brought a new anxiety. They would have to share the ranch with Austin’s brothers? How many did he have? He’d never mentioned that part of the deal.

“That’s right. There are four of us—Mason, the oldest; Zane, my twin; Colt, the youngest, and me. All four of us have to wed by the end of next March—twelve months from the day Mason took possession of Crescent Hall. One of us has to have a kid by then—don’t worry; Mason’s got that covered. He and Regan have already been trying for a while. In April we get the deed, and the deal is done.”

“What about your other brothers?” Austin had a twin? She tried to picture that.

“Zane and Colt? They’ve promised to marry, too. Zane will get out of the Marines in September. Colt plans to stay in the service.” Austin hesitated. “He’s not too thrilled about any of this, but he’s given his word that he’ll come through with a wife. I wouldn’t be surprised if he does something similar to what we’ve done.”

“And where is everyone going to live?”

Austin swallowed and her anxiety increased. The last thing she wanted was to bunk with a crowd of strangers.

“Crescent Hall is a large house. We could all fit in it easily—even with some kids. But I was thinking about taking over the bunkhouse. I love the Hall. You will too when you see it. But crowds and me—” He shook his head. “We’re not a great fit. Not now.”

Relief washed over her, although she stored the rest of the information away to think over later. “How many bedrooms does the bunkhouse have?”

Austin looked down at his container. “One.”

Chapter 7

‡

AUSTIN WIPED HIS hands on a napkin and closed the takeout container, trying to gauge Ella’s reaction to that bit of news.

“One?”

“Look—I told you we have to act married in public.”

“But you said we’d act like roommates in private. You said sex was out of bounds.”

“It is out of bounds. But if we sleep in separate bedrooms, someone is going to figure it out.”

“So what?”

It was a fair question, he decided. And why was he fighting so hard to share his bed with a woman he’d said from the get-go he wasn’t interested in? A woman he swore he wouldn’t have sex with? “Because Aunt Heloise can kill the deal any time. So until the ranch’s deed is in our names, you have to sleep with me.” He kept his voice steady, but he hoped she knew how serious he was.

“Sleep with you, but not have sex.”

Austin nodded. “We covered that already. No sex. Will you be able to do that?”

“Do what? Keep my hands off you? I should think so.” Her tone was laced with sarcasm.

“Ah, that’s right. You don’t fall for men like me. You like those simpering Hollywood goons.” Shit. Why was he goading her?

“You mean those simpering Hollywood millionaires?” She caught herself. Smiled self-deprecatingly. “Actually, I don’t miss them one little bit, but this still won’t work. How are we supposed to stay disengaged if we share a house, a job, a life, and a…” She trailed off.

“A bed,” Austin finished for her, enjoying her discomfiture more than he ought to. So the thought of sleeping with him interested her a little bit, for all her protests. She wasn’t alone in that. The longer he spent near Ella, the better sharing a bed sounded. Which wasn’t good. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll figure it out along the way. It’s not forever.”

She blew out a breath. “We’re going to have to give each other as much space as possible. We’ll work on the ranch, but we won’t work together. We’ll organize our activities so we’re not in the house at the same time. We’ll sleep with our backs turned.” Her cheeks heated again. Austin suppressed the sudden urge to smile. She really was beautiful. He would enjoy sleeping with her.

Damn it. No he wouldn’t. Not one little bit.

They stared at each other wordlessly again. Ella was right. This was never going to work.

*    *    *

CRESCENT HALL WASN’T at all what Ella had expected. In her mind she’d pictured the ranch house as an overgrown log cabin. When she said as much, Austin assured her that there were many such houses around these parts, but that the Halls had something different in mind when they built their home.

“I think someone was homesick for the east coast,” he said, opening the truck door for her again. As she picked her way in her high heels up the dirt driveway, the house loomed up over them, its gothic structure something out of a fairy tale. It had three above-ground stories, with a wraparound porch and a circular tower. As ornate as any New England mansion, its severe shades of gray lent it a formal air. It was quiet this far out from town. The only living creature around was a child—or pre-teen, maybe—riding his bike up the country road. He watched them with interest as he pedaled furiously by and disappeared over a hill. Ella turned back to the Hall, and looked up at the circular tower.

Austin saw the direction of her gaze. “Regan and Mason already claimed the bedroom on the second floor of the tower. The one in the attic needs a serious renovation, but we could grab it if you really wanted.” She could tell he hoped she wouldn’t say yes.

“Show me the bunkhouse first. Then I’ll make up my mind.”

“Let’s start in the Hall and work our way out. We’ll have to spend a few nights here at any rate.”

He led the way inside, set her suitcase down in the foyer and gave her a quick tour of the first floor. It was evident the walls had been repainted recently and the hardwood floors refinished. The dining room was lovely, with a large formal table and chairs, and a grand old chandelier. The kitchen was a funny room, almost retro in its fixtures and appliances except for a modern gas stove. There was a large living room with a beautiful view of the mountains. An office and a small bathroom and laundry, as well. The furnishings were pleasant, but sparse, and Ella wondered what the budget was for renovating the place. Maybe Mason and Regan hadn’t had time to purchase more furniture.

Upstairs there were four bedrooms, large enough to be suites, two on either side of a central hall. A full bathroom sat between each set of bedrooms.

“So we’d share a bathroom with another couple?” Ella shook her head. “I’m not into that.”

Austin kept quiet, opening doors to show her the various rooms. “Here’s ours for now. Mason and Regan bought us a bed.”

They entered the room and stood silently, gazing at it.

It was plain but adequate, with little evidence that Austin had spent several nights here, except for the jacket tossed over the back of an easy chair that sat in one corner. The bed was modest, and she wished it was larger—a California King, at least, rather than this queen-sized set. Sleeping in such close proximity with Austin guaranteed they’d touch inadvertently during the night.

Her skin heated at the thought and she drew in a breath, angry at herself for allowing another handsome man to shake her—even slightly—from her convictions. It was bad enough she’d ever fallen for Anthony.

At least for now they wouldn’t be sharing a bathroom with anyone. Regan had placed them as far away from her and Mason’s bedroom as she could while remaining on the same floor. Obviously, the newlyweds wanted privacy, too.

“We can sleep in separate rooms until they come home, right?”

An expression flitted across Austin’s face so quickly she didn’t quite catch it before he’d smoothed his features into still lines again. Had it been disappointment?

“If you don’t mind sleeping on the floor.”

“What about Mason and Regan’s bed?”

“They might notice when they get back if one of us uses their room. Besides, we need to practice.”

“Sleeping together?”

“Acting like a husband and wife.” He moved closer. Took her hand. Ella snatched it away. “That’s not very wifely,” Austin said.

“There’s no one here to see us.”

“That’s why it’s called practice.” He held out his hand. “If we’re going to be husband and wife, we have to be able to touch each other.”

Ella gave him her hand reluctantly. Austin held it in his.

“See, that’s not so bad.”

It wasn’t bad at all. It was… nice. A shiver of anticipation rippled through her as she turned away from him, disengaging her hand. “What else is there to see?” Confusion made her sound angry. She wasn’t angry, though. She just wanted to know why his touch affected her so much. She found herself holding her breath as he edged past her out of the bedroom, and led the way up another narrow set of stairs behind a door at the end of the hallway. She already wanted to touch him again. If he would only hold still for a moment and allow her to trace his muscles with her hands. She wanted to test his biceps. She wanted to slide her hands down his chest and feel the rock hard planes of his stomach. She wanted to reach around to move them over his ass.

She got herself under control and followed him up the stairs. The attic contained a series of small rooms that must have once held servants, and then a large nursery at one end. Ella sympathized with the maids who would have had to haul themselves and their small charges up and down all those stairs back in the olden days. She lingered in the door of the nursery, though. Its sky-blue walls needed a new coat of paint. Someone had painted puffy clouds on the ceiling, but now they were a dingy gray. Still, the room was large and would be airy with the windows open. Several children could bunk in here at a time. The idea of a number of little ones bouncing on beds, playing hide-and-go-seek, lolling on the floor reading books made her smile. Once she’d thought she wanted a houseful of her own.

Before Hollywood. Before Anthony.

Glancing out one of the front windows, she spotted the boy on the bicycle pedaling back toward town now, his head still turned toward the house. She figured there wasn’t much excitement for a kid out on this country lane. How would she feel stuck out here for the next twelve months with only a soldier for company?

And his brothers and their wives?

“You coming?” Austin was already halfway back down the hall. She followed him down to the second floor again. When they reached the bedroom he had designated as theirs, he lingered a moment. “I’ll bring up your suitcase and leave you to settle in. When you’re ready, I’ll take you to see the bunkhouse and give you the grand tour of the ranch.”

“Okay.” She was grateful for a break from the man’s presence. He’d thrown her off-kilter when he’d held her hand and she still hadn’t recovered. She shouldn’t feel like this. After the disaster with Anthony she’d be crazy to fall for another man.

But Austin wasn’t Anthony. He was far more intriguing.

The thought left her uneasy, both about the way she was constantly comparing the two men and by the realization that Anthony fared so badly when she did so. Had she been so consumed with her career and the Hollywood lifestyle that she hadn’t noticed how little she and Anthony had in common?

She had, hadn’t she?

Being with Anthony assuaged her feelings of insecurity in the business. She’d enjoyed acting at first, especially when the parts were coming thick and fast, and she was learning something new each day. She remembered the heady feeling of coming home late from a set, knowing she’d nailed a scene, knowing she’d pulled off something she hadn’t been able to do only weeks before. She’d enjoyed working her way up, studying the other actors, learning their tricks. That was the kind of mind she had—one that loved to grow and accomplish new things.

Then it had all changed. She’d hit some kind of wall. Not of her own making; more of a wall that the industry imposed on her. Hollywood was conservative. It liked sure things and she’d never quite become a sure thing. She was good, but she hadn’t reached great yet and she’d been closing in on thirty. She was beautiful, but not striking enough to make the transition to being an older character actress.

Then she’d met Anthony and she thought her luck had changed. Suddenly she was in the spotlight again. She’d picked up a great supporting role in The Bride Wore Black, and she thought it would be the film that put her over the top, but it hadn’t after all because while it was close to the right role for her, it wasn’t the right role. It was a shade too caustic. A shade too youthful. She’d needed to be cast as someone just a little older, a little warmer—but just as intelligent and funny.

That part had never come. Now it never would.

She thought about Austin. He was the real deal, with hard-won muscles, life experience and the self-confidence that went with it. His virility wasn’t something he put on in the morning like an Armani suit. It was intrinsic. Natural.

Sexy.

Ella sat down on the edge of the bed, flopped backward and finally admitted what she’d been holding back since she met Austin in the airport.

She was attracted to him.

Really attracted to him.

She was in big trouble.

Chapter 8

‡

AUSTIN PACED THE length of the bunkhouse, turned on his heel and paced back again. The building was smaller than he remembered it. In his youth it had been filled with a succession of hired hands. A large bedroom at one end housed four cast-iron bunk beds that had been original to the ranch. In the center of the building was a rough living room that was currently devoid of furniture. He recalled a broken-down couch, a couple of easy chairs and a small television when he was a kid, but all that had been carted away at some point by his uncle, except for an old waist-high bookshelf in one corner built out of planks and two-by-fours. A small bathroom split off from the living room. A step down from the living room led to a cramped kitchen that had been stripped of its appliances. Austin was quickly rethinking his idea of moving Ella in here. It would take a lot of work to make it habitable, and he had no idea what they’d do with those bunk beds.

He sure as hell wasn’t going to sleep in them. Not when there was a beautiful, curvy woman around.

“Austin?”

He spun around, hoping Ella couldn’t read where his thoughts had traveled. “I was just coming to get you.”

“Is this the bunkhouse?” Her expression echoed his earlier feelings. He had to admit it didn’t look too promising right now.

“It’s a little rougher than I remember.”

She moved around, peeking first into the bunk room, then crossed the living room to take a look at the kitchen. “It’s got good bones,” she pronounced.

“Really?” He couldn’t hide his surprise.

“Really.” She faced him. “It’s occurring to me there’s a lot we should have talked about before we…”

“Got hitched?” he supplied.

“Yes.” She looked momentarily disconcerted and Austin bit back a smile. He liked it when he disconcerted her. It made her more… human… than her Hollywood actress persona.

He leaned against the wall and folded his arms across his chest. “What should we have talked about?” And why was his western twang more pronounced when he spoke to her? It had faded a little during his time in the service. Maybe being home brought it out in him, but maybe he’d also noticed that twang seemed to act on Ella in a very interesting way. The more he relaxed into his natural accent, the more she watched him, like she was watching him now. She liked the country in him. She liked it a lot.

She was starting to like him. As hard as she was trying not to.

“I’m a very private person. Very private.” She crossed her arms, too. “It comes from being under scrutiny all the time by the press. Tabloids love unflattering photos of me. They wait until I forget myself for one moment and yawn, or rub my nose or frown, and then they snap the shot and plaster it everywhere. If I’m outside—if I’m anywhere in public—I have to be conscious of my every move. So I need a place I can go and be completely alone. Does that make sense?”

He nodded. It did make sense. “That sounds awful.” He couldn’t imagine being scrutinized like that. His whole career in the Special Forces had consisted of blending in, keeping a low profile—now more than ever, even though he was a mere civilian these days. He’d hate to think about anyone digging into his past—delving into the story about him and Edgars and Donovan.

“Well.” She shrugged. “Being a movie star is worth it, right?”

“Is it?”

She crossed the room to look out the wide front window that framed a view of Crescent Hall. “No. Actually, it’s not. Not anymore.”

“Because Anthony cheated on you?”

“Partly.” She held herself rigid and Austin wondered what the price of that control was. Did her body ache at the end of the day? Did she long for a hot bath and a strong massage? He knew something about keeping such a tight control over your emotions. The result was aches and pains.

He could give her a massage… he had strong fingers and could work her muscles until she melted right into the bed.

“This place only has one bedroom,” he pointed out. “And right now it’s full.”

She turned and flashed him one of her surprising, heart-stopping smiles. “Those bunks look pretty uncomfortable.”

“Heavy as all get-out, too.”

She moved to look into the bunk room again. “It’s a big space. What if we divided it up?”

He opened his mouth to protest that they had to keep up appearances. Besides, he’d already decided he wanted Ella in his bed at night.

No.

Hell.

She was still talking. “What if we set it up so that you walked into a main bedroom area, but we split the far end of the room into two offices? One for you and one for me. Then we’d each have a place we could go and shut the door. We’ll have to add a couple of windows so that all the rooms have adequate light…”

Austin was still trying to wrestle his mind out of a very sensual fantasy about just what they could get up to in bed. “Sounds good. Draw up a plan.”

If she noticed the tightness of his voice, she didn’t show it. “I will.” She came closer. Touched his arm. “I appreciate you letting me redesign the place. You’re being a really good sport about all of this.”

No, he wasn’t.

At her touch, Austin lost the shred of control that had kept his hands jammed in his pockets. He took hold of Ella’s bicep, pulled her in close and bent his head to kiss her. This wasn’t some sweet, get-to-know-you kind of kiss. It wasn’t a practice kiss, either. It was hungry, demanding. He didn’t know why he was doing it, or what he expected to come of it. He just knew he wanted it now and he was going to have it.

She sucked in a shocked breath just before his lips touched hers, but she yielded to him and her mouth was unexpectedly soft and delicious under his. She allowed him to taste her, to pull her even closer until her body pressed against him in all kinds of intimate ways. His arms tightened around her, every touch bringing his senses to life. It had been so long. So long…

With a tremendous effort, he pulled back. She almost staggered when he let her go, until he caught her again.

“More practice?” she asked, extricating herself from his arms.

Hell if he knew. “That’s right.”

“I think that’s enough of that, don’t you?” She folded her arms across her chest, but didn’t move away. He couldn’t read her reaction. Did she want him to agree with her, or push things further?

“You’re a beautiful woman. You’re my wife.”

She frowned. “Sort of. And we said—”

“I know what we said, but we were wrong. If we’re going to fool everyone, we have to get this right. I’ll be kissing you a lot this next year, Ella.” He reached out and tugged her closer. “Let’s try that again.”

She didn’t answer, but she didn’t pull away, either.

He closed the space between them slowly, giving her every chance to change her mind. The fact that she didn’t—that she wanted this as much as he did, or at the very least was as curious—charged him all the more.

This time he wasn’t tender. He meant to be, but he couldn’t help himself. Ella was like water to a man dying of thirst. He wanted more of her. More. Soon he found himself ravaging her mouth with his, rasping his lips over hers, plunging his tongue into the sweet depths of her.

It wasn’t enough.

*    *    *

SHE WAS KISSING him. She was kissing the cowboy. The soldier. The Special Forces whatever he was.

And he was kissing her back. God was he kissing her. Not the pseudo-passionate kind of stage kiss that Anthony preferred. Not the chaste kiss on the cheek she’d expected she and Austin would use if the situation demanded it.

No, this was more like being sacrificed on the altar of some sensual god. He was searing her straight down to her soul, asking more of her than she’d given to any other man.

Ella didn’t know what game they were playing anymore. She’d come here to get away from men—from Anthony—not to throw herself into another one’s arms. She didn’t need to get used again, didn’t need to be hurt.

But somehow she couldn’t pull away. Was it the fact that he was a stranger, someone who didn’t care that she was Ella Scales? Or was it because she’d been joined to him body and soul in a clean, white church whose simplicity and beauty had pierced her to the core? Was it because she’d promised to love and honor him, to hold him close for the rest of her life?

She was certainly holding him close now.

Their kiss went on and on, until he slid his hands to her hips, tugged her even closer, and made it real. Suddenly his desire—and his strength—were all too evident. This was a man who might not have had any female companionship for a long time.

She liked that idea.

The passion that had threatened her earlier in the airport and then the church surged up again, and suddenly she was tingling with want—need—and kissing Austin back with the same intensity he was kissing her.

One of his hands slid up to cradle the back of her head. The other slid down over her ass. Ella couldn’t help it—she moaned. Out loud. She liked his hand cupping her there. She wanted him to do all kinds of naughty things to her.

He lifted his head. Stepped back. “That’s probably enough practice for now.”

It wasn’t nearly enough from Ella’s perspective. She’d forgotten how good it felt to be desired by a man and to desire him back. She moved forward, stood on her tiptoes and recaptured his mouth with her own. That was better. That was what she needed.

After a few minutes, he pulled away again. “If we don’t back this off, it’s going to get out of hand.”

The roughness of his voice, his all-too-evident need told her he didn’t want to stop any more than she did. “Let it.”

She came after him again, but he caught her, held her in place with his hands around her biceps. “You want to play with fire?”

“I want… I just want… to play.”

“Bad idea.”

Ella’s heart sunk. Was he really going to turn her down? The humiliation—the feelings—she’d worked so hard to contain since the night of the Academy Awards threatened to swamp her suddenly, and she pressed her lips together to hold it back.

Austin’s voice softened. He shifted his hands to her elbows and pulled her close again. “Don’t think this is easy, honey, because it isn’t. I’d like nothing more than to take you right now, but if I do there’ll be hell to pay afterward, because that’s not what either of us signed up for. You’ve gone through so much this past spring you’re reaching out for comfort where you can find it. I’ve gone through hell this past year, and it’s been a long time—” He broke off. “It’s been a heck of a long time since I’ve been with someone who mattered.”

Someone who mattered? Did he think she could matter to him? Hope sparked to life in her heart. She wanted to matter to someone. To a man.

Talking wouldn’t get her anywhere with Austin, though. Time to get down to brass tacks. She reached forward and grabbed his belt. Began to undo it.

“Whoa—what are you doing?”

“What does it look like?”

“We said sex was off the table.” But his eyes had taken on a hungry look and he wasn’t stopping her. He wanted her. He definitely wanted her.

“You said we needed practice—we need to act like husband and wife. This is what husbands and wives do.”

He captured Ella’s chin in his hands and tilted her head up to kiss her again. “We shouldn’t…this is a bad idea.”

She got his belt unbuckled, pulled the button on his waistband free and slipped her hand inside. He was hard and ready. “How will I know how to act like your wife if you haven’t fucked me?”

“Ella…”

He didn’t seem capable of saying anymore and triumph crested inside of her. In a burst of inspiration, she slowly knelt down in front of him. Tugged his jeans open and set him free. “Is this what a wife would do?”

Surely he wouldn’t say no to this.

When she took him inside of her mouth, Austin groaned and tangled his fingers in her hair.

“You shouldn’t…” But he didn’t finish his sentence. Ella drew him in, then slid him out, her movements sensual and languorous. He didn’t speak any more, just let her minister to him. Ella couldn’t believe she’d been so bold, couldn’t believe she was seducing him like this, but as she slid both hands inside his jeans, gripped his hips and brought him forward again, she realized she wasn’t doing this for Austin’s benefit. She was doing it for her own.

She wanted him. She wanted this cowboy. She wanted to do something reckless that would wipe out every memory of Anthony and her Hollywood past.

Austin was so large and so hard she couldn’t take him all the way in, but she did her best to tease and lick and stroke every inch of him until she could tell he was having trouble holding back.

With an animal sound, Austin lifted her to her feet again.

Raw need twisted his face as he wrapped his fist in her hair, tugged her head back and kissed her. She knew exactly how he felt. She was panting with her own need for him. Wet with wanting him. Soon she was breathless and weak-kneed in his embrace, her hands slack on his waistband. No man had ever kissed her like this, like he would possess every molecule of her, like he would overtake her and make her his and his alone.

He growled and pulled her even tighter. Lifted his head to scan the room. She knew what he wanted. Somewhere to put her. Somewhere to fuck her. There was no furniture. None except that waist-high travesty of a bookshelf in the corner.

Austin must have seen it the same moment she did. Without a word, he lifted her up, crossed the room in two steps and deposited her on top of it.

Ella clung to him as he tugged her dress up around her waist, afraid the ramshackle piece of furniture would collapse, but while it lacked style, it had evidently been built to withstand a cave-in of the roof. With her back pressed against the hard wall, Austin’s hands still on her ass, she had never felt so overcome with need. This wasn’t classy. This wasn’t her. This was—

Heaven.

She lurched forward as he slid his hands up her back to cradle her. He lowered his mouth to hers, sweeping her up into a kiss so intense she couldn’t breathe. Her heart was pounding as his hands finally slipped down again to grip her and lift her closer, pressing her tight against his hardness. Ella thought she would die if he wasn’t inside of her soon.

As Austin kissed her, he fumbled with the zipper of her dress. He tugged it hard and she held her breath, wondering if he’d tear the thousand-dollar gown from her body. She wanted him to. She wanted him to rip it to shreds. Instead, she lifted her arms and shifted with his movements as he peeled it roughly up and over her head. Her bra came off next in one quick flick of his fingers and his mouth was on her breasts before she knew what was coming.

Ella gasped, arching back as best she could to give him access. She raked her fingernails down his back and smoothed her hands up it again, glorying in the muscles at play there.

Now his hands were at the waist of her designer panties. Ella knew it was all-or-nothing time. She was doing this or she wasn’t. She had to make a choice.

Her decision was made in a fraction of a second. She wanted him. Bad.

Now.

She wriggled the panties over her hips and braced herself while he tugged them the rest of the way off. He didn’t bother with more than shoving his jeans and boxers down. Lifting her up again, he positioned her—

“Condom!”

“Fuck.” He held her with one arm, reached down with the other and fumbled his wallet out of his pants. For the first time, he hesitated. “Are you sure about this?”

He held her as if she was light as air and she knew he would control this encounter. The thought turned her on more than she’d imagined.

“Yes.”

He didn’t wait to hear more. Splaying his hands over her hips, he lifted and positioned her.

Then drove home.

Ella gasped as he filled her to the hilt, the sensation so pleasurable she thought she might go over the edge right then. But Austin was far from finished. And he wasn’t holding back. Bracing her with his hands, he plunged into her roughly, until her breasts bounced with his movements.

“God, you look good,” he rasped. One hand on her ass again, the other at her nape, he left her no choice but to wrap her legs around him and hang on for the ride. And what a ride it was. She couldn’t stop the moans escaping from her throat. She had one fleeting thought that there were no curtains on these windows. Anyone happening by would see everything.

She didn’t care.

Austin kept up his sensual maneuvers, pumping in and out of her until she could hold back no longer. She went over the edge with a cry she couldn’t suppress, and Austin followed a second later. He stroked into her hard and strong, bucking against her again and again. Her release went on far longer than usual, pushed up and over the top again by the strength and sensuality of his movements. When she was all played out, her legs shaking and her entire body tingling, Austin held her close, breathing hard in her ear.

The wall behind her was cool, the bookcase she sat on rough, but she didn’t mind. Her body hummed with pleasure. She hadn’t felt this good in years. For once she wasn’t looking over her shoulder for a camera and Anthony wasn’t looking over her shoulder, either, eager to check his reflection in the closest mirror.

This was different—real. Raw.

“I really hope you were on board for that.”

“Oh, I was on board,” she said, still clinging to him, her fingers wrapped around his arms, her head against his chest. She could hear his heart beating strong and fast. Otherwise, the cabin was quiet. They could be miles away from anyone out here on the ranch. Dust tickled her nose and she realized how warm it was in the bunkhouse with no windows open.

She let herself relax against him, closing her eyes and simply… being. She had no rehearsals to get to, no lines to study, no interviews to give. Nothing to do at all, really, except lean against Austin. Smell him. Taste him.

“You okay?” His words rumbled in his chest.

She nodded. “I feel so… safe.”

In an instant he was gone. Out of her. Away from her, moving so fast she almost fell. He didn’t catch her this time. He strode to the bathroom, came back out with his jeans up and zipped and was halfway out the door before she stumbled off the bookcase to her feet.

He turned and hesitated. But only for a moment. “Safe is the last thing you are with me. We can’t do this again. Ever.”

Chapter 9

‡

DAMN IT ALL to hell. Goddamn all of it to hell. Austin strode across the wide lawn away from the Hall toward the woods that edged the property to the south. Married less than an hour and already he’d blown it.

He’d fucked her.

No—it was worse than that. He’d made love to her. Made love to her in a way he hadn’t made love to a woman in… forever. The way Ella had collapsed against him afterward, still connected to him in the most intimate of ways, had sent a wave of gratitude through him, followed by utter confusion. What was he doing?

What had he done?

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit!

He wasn’t fit to be anyone’s husband and he could not fall for this woman. If Ella Scales—no, Ella Hall—thought she could drag him back into the light, she was wrong. There was no saving him. He was as dead as Donovan, even if he was still walking, and breathing, and—oh, God—fucking.

Safe. She thought she was safe with him? No one was. He couldn’t be trusted. Couldn’t…

He picked up his pace, wanting to put as much ground between him and Ella as he could. What the hell was wrong with him? He’d been with women since Donovan’s death—one night stands that meant nothing to him. This was something different. He was stone-cold sober, and it was Ella he wanted—not just a release. He’d felt something back there. He’d felt—happy.

He reached the edge of the woods as a ragged sound tore from his throat, something too close to a sob for comfort. He wouldn’t lose control, for God’s sake. He never cried, no matter what the counselors said. There was no relief in breaking down—just more evidence of failure. He couldn’t tolerate any more failure.

Austin spotted the old side-by-side obstacle racing course his father had built for him and his brothers when they were kids and increased his pace. Here was something he could throw himself into. Here was something against which he could pit his pain.

They had spent so many hours running it. So many hours honing their skills, competing against each other, arguing about who had won and who had lost, joking around together as they tried out new or funny ways to beat the obstacles…

His father had used it to handle just about every kind of parenting situation. If two of the boys fought, they had to race to see who won. If any of them argued with their father, they raced him—and always lost, until their teen years. If they got in trouble, their father assigned them a time to beat and kept them running the course until they did.

All four of them had ended up strong, steady, capable men. Highly suited for the military. He chuckled grimly at the memory of the first time he’d run a course in basic training. The whole place had gone quiet when he burst off the starting line and traversed it as quickly as if he was running over flat ground. Since he’d run similar obstacles thousands of times before he joined up, it was weeks before anyone else in his unit could catch up to him.

The confidence that gave him helped him get ahead and eventually set the stage for him to join the Special Forces. That had been the proudest day of his life.

If only he hadn’t screwed everything up.

He paused for only a second at the post that marked the starting line, then burst out of it toward the rough-hewn monkey bars that started off the course. Hand over hand, he swung himself through them, dropped on the far side and raced toward the climbing wall.

Movement. Training. Working his body.

He wouldn’t stop until he was under control again.

*    *    *

ELLA WATCHED AUSTIN slam out of the bunkhouse, her arms clamped across her body in a hopeless attempt to cover her nakedness. As soon as he was gone, she snatched her dress and underthings from the floor where Austin had tossed them and dashed into the bathroom, tears already streaming down her cheeks.

Watching Anthony kiss Kaylee at the award ceremony was nothing compared to this final humiliation. She’d been used and discarded again by someone she thought was outside of the game. Above it. Better than it.

Maybe he thought he was better than her.

Maybe Austin wasn’t satisfied with the leavings of another man. Maybe he was rethinking this whole marriage sham. She hadn’t given him the courtesy of letting him know her circumstances before he got involved. Was this his way of getting back at her?

She cleaned herself up as best she could with the sliver of dried soap that stuck to the sink. There were no washcloths or towels, so she flapped her hands and willed her damp body to dry quickly so she could get dressed. She was never going to shed her clothes again, at least not in front of anyone.

Zipped back up into her dress, she stared at her reflection in the distorted mirror above the sink. Her tasteful makeup was streaked beyond fixing, so she did her best to scrub the rest of it off, along with the tears which kept leaking from under her lashes. Afterward, her face was splotchy and raw. A paparazzo would have a field day if any were around.

The worst of it all was that she’d thought she’d made some kind of connection to the man. She’d been swept away with wanting him… but he didn’t want her, did he?

She splashed cold water on her cheeks to take away some of the puffiness and dried her hands by unpinning her hair and raking her fingers through it to fluff it up.

There. That wasn’t so bad. If anyone snapped a shot she’d look scrubbed fresh and tousled, like she’d done an impromptu cleanup after a hot and heavy roll in the hay with her cowboy soldier groom.

Swallowing hard against the ache that threatened to overwhelm her again, Ella found her shoes, slipped them on and confronted the several hundred yards of grass between her and the back door to the Hall. She needed to regain the house so she could find her luggage, find a shower and sort herself out for real. Then she’d take stock of the situation.

And leave.

Her heart beat wildly as she stalked out the door, chin held high in case there was a photographer hidden somewhere on the ranch. The extent of her mistake was crashing down upon her, pressing the air right out of her chest. This was supposed to be her haven, her place of safety. And in one short hour, she’d screwed that up. Maybe leaving was really the only choice. But where would she go? As she marched across the lawn toward the house, motion caught her eye and a glint of metal in the sun had her squinting toward the road.

The boy on the bike again—the one she’d seen before when they arrived at the ranch. From this angle he was just visible as he rode on by. How many times had he passed the ranch in the hour they’d been here? Was he simply bored, or was there a purpose to his observations?

She formed a fleeting picture of some country housewife sending out her child to spy on the new neighbors. That kid better not have a camera with a zoom lens.

She chuckled a little at the thought, glad to find she’d retained her sense of humor. But the truth was if she ran away again now she’d find a lot of cameras trained on her. The tabloids would have a field day if they found out she’d screwed up two marriages.

Her pace slowed.

They would find out, too, because her marriage to Austin would soon be public record. They’d even consummated it, for heaven’s sake. She’d need to hire a divorce attorney to set herself free, and what if Austin kicked up a fuss? What if he sold his story to the highest bidder?

It would feel just about like this.

No—she had to salvage the situation somehow. At least find a way to stick around until they both calmed down and came up with a way to dissolve the marriage amicably. She’d track Austin down and tell him what they’d just done was a fluke. A one-time deal. She’d never touch him again, and if he would just agree to allow her to stay hidden away on his ranch for a few weeks—until everything blew over—she would pay him handsomely for the favor.

In cash—not in sex.

She cringed when she thought of how she’d behaved. She’d exposed herself to him—let herself be vulnerable in a way she never did. And in the end he’d pushed her away.

Halfway across the yard to the Hall, she heard a sound that had her spinning on her heel, looking beyond the bunkhouse toward the woods that edged the expansive lawn. What was that? An animal?

Austin plunged out of the woods at full speed, as if chased by demons. He stopped short, doubled over, obviously heaving for air. At this distance she couldn’t make out his expression or fathom why he’d been racing through the trees. Nothing followed him out of the woods, which was some comfort. She frowned as he straightened up, walked around in a circle and suddenly dashed back into the forest.

Ella stood for a long moment, trying to make up her mind what to do. Had Austin lost his mind? Was someone else with him out there?

She couldn’t imagine who, or why.

Despite the voice of reason telling her to race to the house, grab her suitcase and call a taxi, she slowly walked toward the woods where she’d last seen him. What on earth was going on in those trees?

By the time she made it close to the edge of the woods, he was nowhere to be seen, but two structures side by side had caught her attention. They looked like jungle gyms, the kind you saw on school playgrounds, with rungs that you swung across hand over hand. Why were they here?

And why were there two of them?

She moved closer, just as footsteps pounded toward her. A moment later, Austin burst out of the trees again and slid to a wheeling stop when he saw her.

“Jesus!”

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” She didn’t know why she was apologizing to the man who’d just nearly dropped her on her ass back in the bunkhouse, but she’d obviously scared him half to death.

Austin paced, his shoulders heaving with each breath he took. He shook his head, but she forestalled whatever he was about to say.

“What is this place?”

“The… course,” he wheezed. “Obstacle course.” Another breath. “My father made it when we were kids.”

“Oh.” She thought about that. “Why?”

His face relaxed for a second and she was struck again by how handsome he was. Too handsome by far.

“This is the way my father kept peace between four very troublesome boys.”

She moved closer. Checked out the monkey bars which started the course off, then gazed farther into the woods to see the climbing wall that was the next obstacle.

“You boys would run this? Against each other?”

“Yep. Just about every day of my life growing up.”

“And you’re still friends?”

He shrugged, as if he didn’t understand the question. “We’re brothers.”

“I don’t have any brothers. Or sisters.” She was hugging her arms to her chest again, something she did a lot these days. It was like she was trying to hold herself physically together. Or trying to protect herself from the outside world. “Didn’t all that competition make you hate each other?”

“No. Not really. Not any more than brothers usually do. We would have scrapped anyway. At least with this we didn’t come to blows. Much.” A grin flashed across his face.

“Would you show me?” For some reason she wanted to stretch the moment out. Probably to put off the time when they would need to discuss what had happened back at the bunkhouse. If she’d thought she was aware of Austin before, she was more so now. She’d run her hands up and down over his body. She’d kissed him, caressed him.

Taken him inside of her.

She shivered at that delicious memory, then squashed it, remembering the outcome. As soon as he had used her, he’d run away, although now that she thought about it… He hadn’t objected to the sex, just what she’d said afterward. I feel safe.

That’s the last thing you are with me.

What did he mean by that? Was he prone to violence?

She gazed at him out from under her lashes. She had no doubt he could be. He had been in the Special Forces after all. But he didn’t strike her as the type of man to beat on a woman. She’d be long gone if she’d gotten any kind of vibe like that.

So why wasn’t she safe with him?

It bore thinking about, but not now.

“The course?”

She nodded. “I’d like to see you run it.”

His expression remained shuttered. “Okay.” After a moment, he crouched down again at the starting line. “Call my start.”

“On your mark, get set, go!”

Ella wasn’t sure what she had expected. Austin took off like a shot and was across the monkey bars hand over hand before she could blink. He leaped down and sprinted for the climbing wall. When he jumped up, gripped the top and swung himself up and over it, her jaw dropped open.

She had seen buff men before. She worked with men who did little else than train their bodies and pose in front of mirrors twenty-four/seven.

This was different. This was a man so in tune with his muscles and tendons that he was as graceful as a wild animal. She could only stand and stare.

Which meant she lost sight of him in moments.

Frowning, she moved into the woods and caught sight of a path that ran down the center of the course. As she hurried along it, she spied Austin again, regaining his feet after he’d army-crawled under lines of barbed wire. Now he was off and running toward a rope swing across a small stream.

Ella simply watched the rest of his progress, shaking her head at the beauty of his body in motion. She wished she could photograph him and capture the bunching and stretching of his muscles, the sheen of the sweat on his skin, the expression of pure concentration. Her fingers itched for a camera. She didn’t even have her phone with her.

When Austin skidded to a stop beside her, a wake of dirt arcing up from under his heels, she could only applaud him. He seemed startled to see her there.

“I need to time myself,” he said, panting. “I wonder if I can break my old record.” He moved off the path toward a pine that had branched out about five feet off the ground. He felt in the crotch of the tree and broke into a grin when he pulled out a notebook in a battered and ripped up plastic zip-lock baggie. “I just remembered this.” He opened the bag and took out the notebook and a pencil stub that still had a point. He came to show it to her.

He seemed a little easier now than he’d been when she first found him here. Maybe the run had done him good. She leaned in close to see the little book.

The lettering had faded into pale shadows in many places but much of it was still legible. Each brother had a section with many dates and times listed on the pages, detailing their progress over the years as they conquered the course and got better and better at it. Austin touched a line near the bottom of a page. “The day after Dad died. I was so mad at… everything. God. The universe.”

Ella followed his finger. There were a number of times scrawled close together. He had taken his anger and sorrow out on the obstacle course, running it over and over again—hitting record after record.

“It happened out of the blue. None of us dreamed he’d die like that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Two weeks later we were in Florida. I didn’t come back again until a few days ago. Seeing Mason get married here,” his voice grew husky, “was a good thing. It was a beginning.”

“Now you and your brothers will set things right.”

“I guess.” He still looked troubled. “Ella—what I did back there—leaving you like that—it wasn’t right.”

She lifted a hand to stop him. “No, I’m the one who screwed up. I broke the rule. We said we wouldn’t have sex, and I goaded you into it. Then I expressed a connection that isn’t there. A connection we’ve both agreed can’t be there. I get it. You’re right. It was a mistake we won’t repeat.”

“I wanted it… as much as you did.” Something in Austin’s face told her he’d wanted it more. That he’d let her see as much went a long way toward smoothing her feathers. “But you’re right; no more sex. That was the last time.”

She agreed with him, but disappointment stabbed through her. No man had ever made her feel the way she did with Austin—wanton, sensual—safe, for all he’d denied it. She’d thrown her inhibitions to the wind when they were together, and she wanted to do it again. But she couldn’t. “We’ll have to set some ground rules. No hugging, no touching, no holding hands, no cuddling by a fire. When we go to bed together at night, we turn over and go to sleep.”

He nodded slowly. “Makes sense.”

“No more talk about the past, either. You aren’t here to help me get over my failure as an actress.”

“And you’re not here to help me get over my failure—” He cut off and turned away. As usual, he held himself so rigidly, she thought the vein pulsing in his temple might burst. “You’re not here to help me forget the past.”

“We won’t even talk about the past. Our lives start right here and now.” Ella pushed away the sense that they had just veered off track entirely in the wrong direction. Something told her they were meant to be together—to help each other recover from the blows the past had given them. That wasn’t what Austin wanted, though. She wouldn’t ever be with him again. She shouldn’t be with anyone—certainly not a man who was even more emotionally unavailable than Anthony had been. She and Austin would be partners in this predicament. Maybe they’d become friends. That was it.

Even if she longed for more.

“Okay.” He hesitated a moment. “I guess that means it’s time to get to work.”

Chapter 10

‡

“WHAT DO WE need to do first?” Ella scanned their surroundings and Austin thought he knew what she was thinking. There were no cattle on the ranch at present; no horses, either, but Mason and Regan had already made many of the big repairs that needed to be made.

He thought fast. “First things first. Mason asked me to order supplies while he’s on his honeymoon to make sure we have everything on hand before we buy our cattle. I’ll get started on that right now. Why don’t you take a tape measure, pencils, paper and whatever else you need and start thinking about what you want to do to fix up the bunkhouse for us.” He stopped for a minute. “I’d better tell you right now, we’re on a budget. A tight one. We had to pay off a bunch of debts my uncle had incurred, and Mason did a lot of repair work when he moved back three months ago. So come up with something bare bones for now, and we’ll improve it when we can.” He scratched his head. “Might be a while, though.”

She looked back toward the bunkhouse. With her blonde hair swinging down around her shoulders and her fancy dress somewhat worse for wear, she looked so much more accessible than she’d been when he first saw her at the airport. Her lithe body had felt so right under his touch when they’d come together earlier, and when she’d taken him in her mouth he thought he’d lose all control. After that, he’d barely been able to hold back.

Hadn’t been able, if he was telling the truth. He’d taken her roughly, without thought for anything except satisfying his body and hers. He’d wanted to hear her voice her pleasure, and she had. The sound of her cries still rang in his ears. He wanted to take her again.

She wasn’t pressed against him now, however. She was standing with her hands on her hips, her expression wry. “I keep telling you I have my own money.”

To hell with that. “You’re not spending your money on fixing up the bunkhouse.”

“Why not?”

He wanted to say that it wasn’t right, that the ranch wasn’t her burden to shoulder, but he knew she’d take that wrong. She’d think he was saying she didn’t belong here.

From the look on her face, he knew she’d followed the course of his thoughts. “The bunkhouse is going to be my home for the next twelve months,” she said. “If I spend your money, I have to keep my renovations within your specifications. If I spend my money, I can do what I like. That’s why I like spending my money. That’s why I worked so hard to earn it.”

“By prancing around pretending to be someone else?”

Damn it, why couldn’t he control his mouth? His words had stung her. She’d actually flinched.

“Are you saying I didn’t work hard enough for my money?”

He took a breath. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t get shot at while you were acting.” He didn’t know why he was pursuing this conversation. So she didn’t get shot at? So what? Did it make him superior that he had?

“What’s the real issue here? That I have more stacked up than you do? You said you already spent a lot on the ranch, and you’re going to spend more. Sounds like you’ve done well for yourself over the years, so why are you angry at me?”

He searched for an answer. Couldn’t find one. “I don’t know.”

She blinked. Softened a little. “I guess this is to be expected, isn’t it? You’ve been overseas, getting… shot at. I’ve been letting my life and career fall to pieces. We’re complete strangers—”

“Not quite complete.”

She actually laughed.

A throb of desire pulsed through him. Ella was beautiful when she laughed.

Keeping his distance was going to be torture.

“Anyway, it’ll take time to figure everything out. Meanwhile, I’ll renovate the bunkhouse my way. Okay?”

He decided to be grateful she’d even pretended to ask for his approval, since obviously she was going to go ahead and pay for the renovation whether or not he liked the idea. “I probably can find some paper and pencils back at the house for you.”

She glanced down at her dress. Made a face. “I think the house is a good place to start.”

*    *    *

SEVERAL HOURS LATER, Ella’s stomach rumbled and she realized it had to be close to dinner, although after that huge lunch she didn’t know how she could be hungry. She stood up ungracefully, her bottom almost numb from sitting so long on the bunkhouse floor. Dressed now in comfortable jeans, a violet shirt and a pair of runners, she felt more appropriately attired than she had in her fancy clothes. She had a pad of lined paper—all Austin could find—and she’d made several sketches with measurements of the way she wanted to redo the bunkroom. Once she’d worked that out, she’d fallen into a reverie about the different ways she could decorate the place.

As she’d showered in the Hall, she’d wished that Austin would join her, but he hadn’t, and when she’d emerged he was all business. Disappointment had dogged her ever since, no matter how many times she told herself it was better this way.

When she’d finally settled down to her task, at first her mind had gone to designer wallpaper and fabrics, but she’d discarded that idea almost immediately. She did have a solid amount of cash in her bank accounts and investments, but who knew when she would work again, and what kind of income she’d earn when she did. She had told herself she was through with acting, and she thought that was the truth, but she wasn’t sure what she’d do next.

Once she’d stopped thinking about how the bunkhouse could look in a House & Garden spread, she allowed her thoughts to wander. She tried to conjure up images that appealed to her and soon she realized she wanted clean, simple lines, a country aesthetic, and the kind of built-in practicality one expected from a cottage.

She added more bookshelves to her sketches of the living room, a couple of niches near the entry to the kitchen where vases of flowers could stand, and window seats with lots of storage under the two large windows. She played with the layout of the kitchen, adding more storage under the countertops and more cabinets above them. A built-in table and benches would allow for a better usage of the small room.

When she was done, the cabin would look clean, bright and homey. There would be nothing stuck up about it. It would be restful and safe.

She couldn’t wait.

When her ideas had slowed, she’d doodled for a while, and then found herself writing a description of the cottage as she’d imagined it. From there her mind leapt to what her life could be, now that she was starting over. She scribbled down words that described what she wanted to feel: peace, happiness, belonging, community, usefulness.

She moved on to the elements she thought could provide her those feelings: fresh air, movement, horses, children, Austin.

Shoot. That wasn’t right. She hesitated, scratched a line through Austin and moved on determinedly. What careers could she try?

Ranch hand?

She snorted.

Stable boy. No—girl.

Riding teacher.

Equine Therapist. It still seemed interesting, even if she was a bit fuzzy on what it entailed.

Mother.

She tapped her pen on the pad, ready to scratch that one out, too. She wanted to be a mother, but motherhood generally required a spouse, and her current spouse wasn’t of the long-term variety, unfortunately. Maybe when this was all over she’d check into adoption or artificial insemination.

Ella blinked, realizing she’d written the word again—several times. Mother, mother, mother. Had she pushed aside that particular dream for so long that she no longer recognized how much she wanted it? At first, as an actress, she’d been too busy and too body-conscious to think about settling down and having kids. Then when she met Anthony she had to give up the notion altogether. He couldn’t stand children and made it clear from day one that she couldn’t have them and him at the same time. She’d chosen him. What a stupid mistake. She sat back and tried to picture what it might be like to have a child or two now.

Or three.

The images came easily—little faces shining up at her. Little arms reaching up to be held. She pictured hugging them, playing with them, wiping their faces, teaching them to ride.

She liked that vision.

She pictured Austin, too. Lifting a child up onto a horse. Teaching him or her how to hold the reins. Her body pulsed with unspoken needs and she forced herself to erase Austin from the image. He wouldn’t be her real husband, but some man would.

She unfettered her mind of any practical restraints and began to write again, allowing herself to describe a perfect life. She pictured a ranch full of horses. A husband as sexy and interesting as Austin, but one who loved her utterly, the way she wanted to be loved. She described their children—and since she had abandoned restraint, there were five of them—and the laid-back country lifestyle they’d have. Picnics and swimming at the local watering hole, holidays filled with family and friends, cookouts and camping trips, trail rides and gardening, sending the kids off to school with little notes of encouragement in their lunchboxes, then partnering with her horses to help other children gain confidence and strength.

Paragraph after paragraph had slipped from her pen to the page and time had slipped by just as quickly, but now that she saw the afternoon had passed, she got to her feet and headed for the bunkhouse door, the notepad under her arm. She’d have to stash the pages she’d used at the bottom of her overnight bag and hope Austin wasn’t the snooping kind. These were private thoughts and dreams, not meant for anyone else to look at.

She opened the back door into the Hall’s kitchen and called out Austin’s name.

“Right here.”

She started at the sound of his voice, then realized he was sitting at the kitchen table, his laptop open. She sniffed the air and her stomach rumbled again at the delicious smell. “What’s that?”

“Frozen pizza. Vegetarian.” He drawled the word. “If you need something different I can run to town again, though.”

She cracked open the oven. “This will be fine.” Afghan fusion food for lunch and a pizza for dinner? She’d gain five pounds overnight. Tomorrow she’d have to give Austin a shopping list for a refrigerator full of vegetables.

She left her pad of paper, tape measure and pencils in the dining room for now, and followed him out to the back porch where he served the pizza as daylight waned. Afterward, they relaxed in their wicker chairs.

“Tell me about your brothers.”

Austin swallowed a bite. “Mason’s the bossy one, Zane’s the class clown, and Colt’s the crazy one you keep away from your daughters.”

“Really? That’s it?” she said after a moment, when it was clear that was all Austin meant to offer.

“What do you want to know?”

“What to expect when they’re all home.” Might as well find out what she was in for.

He thought about that a while. “We work together well. All of us have years of military experience—there’s nothing this ranch can throw at us we can’t handle. You won’t see much of Colt, though. He means to stay in the Air Force until they kick him out. Mason’s a good guy. He’s someone you can count on when times get tough. I’ve never seen him head over heels in love with a woman the way he is with Regan. That’s a marriage that will last. Zane likes to crack jokes, but he’s got a brilliant mind under all of that. Sometimes people underestimate him. He sets them up.” He hesitated.

“What is it?”

“We’re used to Dad being here to call the shots. Without him, I don’t know how we’ll get on. All of us have been in leadership positions for a while in the military.”

“Too many cooks in the kitchen?” she suggested.

“Something like that. I guess we’ll have to sort it out.”

“What about Regan?”

“I only met her for a day or two. She seems okay. Kind of on fire to redecorate the Hall.” He chuckled. “The two of you might get along like gangbusters.”

She smiled, but felt a jolt of territoriality at the thought of another woman with ideas about how things ought to be done. On the other hand, she’d claimed the bunkhouse, so maybe it was okay that Regan directed the renovation of the Hall.

“How did your planning go?”

“Good. I figure I’ll scout around some this week, and as soon as Mason gets back from his honeymoon, we’ll purchase the critters.”

“Tell me about them.”

“Well.” He leaned back. “We’ll get slightly more than a hundred pair of cattle—cows and calves—in case of attrition. About twenty horses all told. Mason mentioned something about chickens. That means you and I need to get the hen house fixed up. Anything else you care for?”

“A dog.” The words popped out of her mouth. A dog? Did she want a dog?

After consideration she decided, yes, she did, because she wanted a friend—a real friend with no ulterior motives. Someone she could take with her when she left next year. She wanted protection. And love. Unconditional love.

“A dog, huh?” He thawed a little. He’d been holding himself aloof since he ran out on her in the bunkhouse earlier. This was the real Austin. The man that drew her like a moth to the flame. “We can get a dog. How about we hit the pound tomorrow and pick one up?”

A rueful smile stretched over her face before she could stop it. “Sorry—you’ll have to hit the pound on your own. I’m hiding out, remember?”

Chapter 11

‡

ELLA SMILED, AND just like that Austin was sizzling with want again. Hell, yeah, he’d get her a dog. He’d do just about anything if she smiled at him like that. It took an effort to keep things friendly but cool as they finished their pizza and washed up. When he caught her suppressing a yawn, he said, “Would you like to call it a night?” She slid a glance his way and he knew what she was wondering. “I’m not suggesting anything.”

“Too bad.” Ella clapped a hand to her mouth and her cheeks stained a pretty shade of pink. “I mean—”

He knew exactly what she meant and he wanted it, too.

“We said we were done with that.”

“We are done with it. We’re completely done with it.”

He didn’t think he was. Austin’s whole body was burning with the desire to pull her toward him and kiss her embarrassment away. Instead he said, “Would you like me to grab some bedding and camp out down here?”

When she shook her head, he breathed a sigh of relief and then rolled his eyes inwardly at his own stupidity. She was off limits—entirely off limits. He had to get a hold of himself and stop lusting after her like she was his… wife.

“We’ll stick to our own sides of the bed. Backs turned,” she said and headed toward the staircase.

He followed her up to the room Regan had set up for them, thanking God for the circumstances that would have them sharing a bed, at least. The truth was he wanted so much more. Ella dug around in her bag and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Austin raised his eyebrows before he could stop himself. That’s what a Hollywood actress wore to sleep in?

When she headed toward the bathroom, Austin blinked. “A little late for modesty, don’t you think?”

“According to my grandmother, it’s never too late for modesty.” She shut the door firmly behind her.

Austin sighed and took the opportunity to strip down to his boxers. When she was done in the bathroom, she stepped back into the bedroom and stopped, taking him in. She opened her mouth, shut it firmly and marched over to the bed, sliding under the covers on the side of the bed that Austin thought of as his. Well, he’d remedy that in a minute. He took some time in the bathroom himself, came back out, stripped off his boxers and unceremoniously yanked back the covers, scooped Ella up and deposited her on the other side of the bed.

She shrieked, first at his nakedness and then at being moved bodily aside. “Hey!”

“Hey, what?” He turned off the light, but not before he enjoyed her outraged expression.

“That’s my side! And you’re not wearing any clothes!”

“Correction. It was your side. Now it’s mine. And if you haven’t noticed, it’s June; you’re going to roast in what you’re wearing.”

“You can’t barge in here like that and take my side of the bed.”

“I’ll wrestle you for it.” As his eyes adjusted to the gloom, he could make out her face more clearly, and he laughed when he saw her reaction. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

She flipped over onto her other side, her back to him. “We agreed not to do that anymore.”

“Wrestle?”

“You know what I mean. No sex!”

Yes, he did know. And he’d meant it when he’d said it. Somehow his determination had slipped away in the meantime. Austin turned his back on Ella, but every nerve in his body was aware of her close proximity.

This was going to be a long night.

*    *    *

IT WOULD BE much easier to get to sleep if she didn’t know Austin was naked beside her in the bed. All she had to do was turn over, and she could touch every inch of him.

Every glorious inch.

He’d felt so good to touch this afternoon, but they’d made a wise decision when they pledged never to be together again. Austin didn’t want the kind of relationship where she told him how safe he made her feel. She didn’t want that either—not really. She definitely didn’t want a man who walked out on her when she spoke up about her feelings.

For now they’d keep apart until they’d gotten comfortable with each other. Until looking at Austin no longer aroused her.

If that was even possible.

Ella sighed and plucked the fabric of her T-shirt away from her. Austin was right, it was far too warm for this many clothes.

As carefully as she could, she pulled the light comforter off of her, leaving her curled on her side with no covering. That was better.

A little.

She was still sweating. Her T-shirt really wasn’t that heavy—it was the sweatpants that were the problem. If she still wore her panties under them she’d have them shucked off in a second, but she’d ditched her panties when she’d changed, opting for a looser outfit. Now she had two options. Keep the pants on and sweat off all the pounds she’d gained from eating pizza, or take them off and risk Austin realizing how… accessible… she was.

Another ten minutes and her decision was made. The sweat pants had to go. Could she get them off without Austin realizing, though? She guessed she’d find out. She inched the pants over her hips slowly, then began to shimmy them down, using her toes to grab onto the fabric and pull them down. Finally they pooled around her ankles. Bringing her knees up, she tugged the pants all the way off and kicked them to the bottom of the bed.

Her T-shirt covered her bottom, barely, and she realized she needed her covers back on. As she slid her hand across the mattress behind her, groping for the light comforter, she came in contact with something warm and rounded.

Was that Austin’s ass?

“I thought you said sex was off limits.”

Ella snatched her hand back. “I was looking for the covers.”

Movement behind her told her Austin had sat up. He was looking at her—at her bare legs and bare… She checked the hem of her T-shirt, tugging it down a little more. Austin sighed heavily. “Here you go.”

The comforter landed on top of her, and Ella hurriedly smoothed it into place. That was better, although it would be better still if she’d kept her pants on.

Austin lay back down beside her and Ella turned over. Now they were both on their backs staring up at the ceiling.

“We need a bigger bed. California King at least.” She shifted restlessly.

“Do they get any bigger than that?”

“I don’t know. I think we should find out.”

“Not sure a California King will fit in the bunkhouse.”

“We’ll make it fit.”

Austin chuckled. Under the covers, his hand found hers and he gave it a squeeze. “I promise I won’t touch you.”

“You’re touching me now.”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he ran his thumb over her palm. She disentangled their fingers. After a moment, he ran his finger down her bare thigh.

Ella shivered despite the warm evening. “Austin.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

His voice was low, sensual, tugging at her heart strings in all the wrong ways. She growled in frustration. He slid his palm over her thigh this time, stroking her down to her knee and then up again.

“Why are you doing that?”

He stroked her again. “Tell me to stop and I will.”

“We said no touching, no pillow talk. Definitely no sex!”

“Then you climbed under the covers with me and took off your pants.” He made it all sound so reasonable. He inched closer to her, turned on his side and pulled her back against him. His hand stroked her thigh again and the hardness of his erection pressed against her bottom. She sighed and curved into the warmth of his hand.

Austin skimmed it higher, up under her loose T-shirt. In another moment, his palm caressed her breast. Ella’s breath caught.

“You haven’t told me to stop.” His low words tickled her and she shut her eyes, saying nothing. With a satisfied groan, Austin picked her up and turned her over under the covers, leaving her pressed against him from chin to toe. Immediately her body conformed to his, her thighs straddling him, his hardness pressed against her core. Both of his hands slid down to smooth over her bottom, to roll her against him. Ella groaned.

“Let’s get this off.” He shucked off her T-shirt before she could react, then reached up to take one nipple into his mouth. He bit and nipped and toyed with it until it peaked hard, while rolling the tip of her other breast in his hand. Ella felt the pull of his touch all the way through her, heating her up and making her want more.

Much more.

“Austin.” She rolled her hips against him again. She couldn’t wait to feel him pushing inside of her. Couldn’t wait for him to fill her up. When they were together she forgot about everything but him and that was exactly what she wanted—to be here, right now, and to forget everything else. He reached for the bedside table, opened a drawer, searched around and found a condom. Had it on himself in another moment. He pulled her back on top.

When she gave him a look, he said sheepishly, “I stole the box from Mason’s bathroom just in case. If he and Regan are trying to get pregnant they won’t need them.”

“When did you steal it?”

“While you showered.”

“So you figured we’d do this again.”

He shrugged. “I hoped so.” He lifted her hips and positioned her. “Ready?”

“Yes.” Ella sank down on top of him until he filled her, moaning at the sensation. Was this so much fun because it was illicit, or would Austin turn her on this much no matter what? She rose up and sunk down again, feeling all of him, enjoying every bit of friction, each sensation his body was bringing to hers.

She slid her hands over his shoulders, marveling at the width of them. When he began to move beneath her, she gave herself up to him entirely, allowing him to set the pace, to push into her and pull out again in a rhythm that soon had her panting with need, with the desire for more, and more, and—

When her release crashed over her, Ella bucked against Austin, calling out again and again as his voice joined hers. She felt him crash against her, felt his hands crush her hips against his. Long moments later she collapsed against him, breathing hard, still joined together, but content to rest here, listening to his heart once more.

His arms tightened around her and for one long minute he held her close. Ella hardly dared to breathe. The last time they’d rested like this, he’d run away the moment she’d spoken. But this time he didn’t pull away, and after several minutes, she closed her eyes again and relaxed. It was nice to lay here in Austin’s arms. Nice to feel the touch of a man. She would just rest here for a minute.

Chapter 12

‡

AUSTIN LAY STILL for a long time after Ella fell asleep, still in his arms, still joined with him. When her breathing had evened out for several minutes, he slipped out of her, set her gently to the side, and got out of bed to clean himself up. Back in just a minute or two, he meant to keep to his side of the bed, but soon found himself curled around Ella’s sleeping figure spoon-fashion, drawn to her warm, luscious body.

She was beautiful, sensuous, womanly. Delicious. She made him rock-hard and ready—not just for sex, but for a connection.

But that was lust talking, wasn’t it? He didn’t know Ella well enough to feel any other kind of connection with her. His body might try to trick him into thinking he did, but it wasn’t true.

Couldn’t be true.

He turned away from her and tried to fool himself into thinking that he was alone. Back in Afghanistan, even. He pictured Donovan. That ought to work like a cold shower.

But instead of Donovan’s lifeless body, he saw Donovan alive. And Donovan gave him a thumbs-up and a wide, congratulatory smile.

His friend was never one to cock-block a fellow; he was just as happy for a buddy as he was when he was the lucky one. He felt they were all in it together, so to speak.

Just like Briggs had said before he left the Special Forces; Donovan would kick his ass if he knew Austin was holding himself back out of a twisted sense of loyalty. That didn’t make it any easier on him. If Donovan were alive, Austin was sure he could let himself enjoy this situation. A beautiful woman stretched out beside him. A beautiful woman who now bore his name.

But Donovan wasn’t alive, and he never would be. He’d never have another girlfriend, let alone a wife. And if he couldn’t, Austin shouldn’t either. It wasn’t fair.

He pictured himself in a landscape as far away from Montana as you could get. He imagined the hot, dry winds that swept across Afghanistan, the grit that got into your clothes and eyes and mouth. The smells and sounds so different from home.

But it didn’t work. He was all too aware that he could turn over and bury himself deep within Ella at any time.

*    *    *

THE FOLLOWING DAY it seemed as if they’d made a pact not to speak of what had happened. Instead, they focused on the bunkhouse renovation. Austin told Ella that he would help her frame in the two offices she’d asked for, and the extra windows, too. Once the heavy lifting was done, he’d leave her to paint and decorate any way she pleased. After a quick breakfast and successive showers, Ella showed him the plans she’d drawn up and he did some quick calculations for the amount and types of lumber they’d need.

“Since we aren’t building any load-bearing walls and we don’t plan to do any new wiring, this shouldn’t be hard. I’m going to ask at the lumber yard who’s doing handy work these days. I’d like help installing the windows.” He picked up his keys, which had been sitting on the kitchen counter. “Coming?”

Ella hesitated. “I can’t, remember? Would you mind stopping at the grocery store, too?” She handed him the list she’d composed. He read it over and shoved it in his pocket.

“You really think hiding here will keep the press away?”

She nodded. “I hope so. I’m not looking forward to those interviews.”

A funny expression crossed his face. “If they… When they come, will they only be interested in you? Or are they going to dig around on all of us?”

“By all of us do you mean you?”

“Yeah.” He tossed the keys up a little and caught them. “There are things I don’t need to be reminded of.”

She wished she could assure him that the press would leave him alone. “I’m sorry.”

His shoulders slumped a fraction. “I guess you’d better stay here then. Is there anything else you need while I’m away? I’ll stop in at Fila’s and remind them to keep a lid on what they know.”

She wanted to tell him not to bother. People talked. They always talked. But she understood he needed to do something to make himself feel less vulnerable to the press. She wished she could ease her own mind by telling herself that if enough time went by, everyone would lose interest, but this story was too juicy—too full of humiliation for the tabloids to pass up. They’d dig it up and trot it out every few months for years, probably. They’d cycle through ever more twisted and sensational versions of the story. They’d say Anthony had thrown her over for Kaylee, or that she had thrown him over for a cowboy, or that Kaylee had double-crossed them both, or that she and Anthony were getting back together. It would go on and on and on.

At least if she remained on the ranch and kept her cell phone off, she wouldn’t have to know about it. “Do you have a library card?”

“I could get one.”

“I could use some books for off-hours. And another one of those Afghan tacos.”

“You think you’re going to have off-hours?” The tension relaxed from Austin’s shoulders and his grin disarmed her.

“I’m going to have an off-hour right now while you go to town.”

“Ah. I have just the thing for that. Come on.” He led the way to the back door. Ella followed him, taking the opportunity to appreciate the view. Even the way Austin walked turned her on. He was so confident. He had every right to be, she told herself with a smile, remembering their romp the previous night.

Austin led the way toward the barns and showed her a small shed-like enclosure. “This is the chicken coop. It needs a thorough cleaning and repair before we get our birds. It’s too late in the season to start chicks, so we’ll buy some pullets. You’ll find some work gloves and any tools you need in that building.” He pointed to another, slightly larger shed. “And you can let me know what needs fixing when I get back.”

“You want me to clean a chicken coop?” So much for romance.

“This is life on a ranch, Ella. Are you in or are you out?” The sexy, easy-going cowboy who’d been her companion for the morning so far was gone. This was the military Austin. The one who put up a want ad for his wife.

“I’m in. I just figured I might get a honeymoon for… oh, I don’t know… twenty-four hours.”

“We both know a twenty-four hour honeymoon is the last thing we need.

Ella nodded. He was right, of course. She wasn’t here to fall in love with Austin.

“I’ll go get those supplies.”

“I’ll be here waiting for you.” Ella bit her lip. She hadn’t meant that to sound like an invitation. After a long moment, the cowboy nodded and turned on his heel. He strode off around the Hall to where he’d parked his truck. Ella watched him go, then turned back to face the small building with a shake of her head. Time to get to work.

Fortunately, enough years had passed since chickens had inhabited it that the smell wasn’t overwhelming, but she wanted to be armed with gloves at the very least before she ventured inside.

She found what she needed in the tool shed. Gloves, a ventilator mask to wear over her mouth and nose—she’d seen mouse droppings when she’d peeked in the door, and she knew how toxic those could be—a small shovel, a rake, a wheelbarrow, and a beat-up broom and dustpan. When she returned to the chicken coop, she positioned the wheelbarrow outside the narrow door and started by shoveling the old, mostly decomposed hay into it. When it was full, she looked around for where to dump it and finally discovered a sad-looking compost pile some yards away. It took several trips to get most of the little building cleaned out. She used the broom to sweep down cobwebs and accumulated dust, then returned to the tool shed to find a small hand broom to reach into the corners to get out the rest. She had vowed to herself a dozen times over that she would burn everything she wore by the time she was done.

When the inside of the coop was clean enough for a flock of birds, she let herself into the outer enclosure. The run was made from support posts, one-inch chicken wire, and a concrete base. It too was covered with a thick layer of moldy, decomposing hay and she repeated the process she’d used inside, first shoveling the hay into the wheelbarrow and then sweeping up the remainder. She figured she could wash down the concrete floor, but couldn’t find a hose anywhere that would reach. She settled for hauling a few buckets of water from the tap outside the Hall and dumping them over the concrete pad.

When the job was done, she did a quick sweep of the outside of the house, just to clear up cobwebs and spruce it up. The building could use a cheerful coat of paint, but then every building on the property could. The only thing left she hadn’t checked was the roof. Since Austin still wasn’t back from town, she made her way to the tool shed again, found a ladder and perched on top of it, using the broom to test the wooden shingles to see if any of them were rotten. A flash of movement caught her eye. The boy on the bicycle from the day before. He trundled past quickly, watching her watch him. She shaded her eyes and followed his progress away to the south, then got to work when he disappeared from view. Five minutes later, Austin’s truck finally pulled up and he came directly to see what she was doing. A dog hopped out of the vehicle behind him—a large, shaggy, solid, black-furred creature of indeterminate breed that Ella fell in love with at first sight. She scrambled back down the ladder as it came to inspect her.

“That’s Milo,” Austin said.

“Hi, Milo.” She crouched down and let him lick her chin. He sat down, his tail wagging energetically, and let her hug him in return. Perfect. She’d always wanted a dog steady enough to be a comfort. Milo looked like the kind of dog who aimed to please.

“Did you find a leak?” Austin looked up at the hen house roof.

“No, just checking things out. It will hold for a few more years. I think.” At least it hadn’t sagged or felt spongy when she tested it.

“You got the run cleaned up.” He sounded surprised. She stood and wordlessly held open the door to the coop. Austin whistled. “Hell. You did a good job.”

“Sounds like you expected something different.”

“You’re an actress. I thought you might act like the job was too much for you.”

“I’m a grown woman; I’ve done some work in my time. My parents keep horses, I’ll have you know.”

“Really? So you ride?”

“Of course I ride. I even did some show jumping as a kid.”

“Show jumping? Don’t tell me—you ride English?”

“Is there any other way?”

Austin snorted. “You want to work a ranch, you’ll learn to ride Western right quick.”

She rolled her eyes. “Barbaric. You said we’d get horses soon, though. When?”

“Next week, most likely. As soon as Mason is back. I want his help to pick them out.”

“I could help you pick them out.”

“There’s a big difference between show horses and working horses, Hollywood. We’ll wait for Mason. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. It’s just about time for lunch and I don’t know what you want to do with all those vegetables you made me buy.”

She let his attitude roll off her back and helped haul all the implements back to the tool shed and put them away carefully, appreciating that the Halls took care of things. Each tool had a place and was left ready for its next use. Milo explored the area, sniffing and searching things out, circling around them like he already knew they were his people.

“Is something wrong?” she asked when she caught Austin looking at her on their way back to the house. “Do I have chicken poop on my nose?”

“No.” He chuckled. “It’s just… I didn’t expect you to be like this.”

“Like what?”

“Useful.” He shrugged. “Willing to pitch in. Frankly, after I found out who you were, I figured you would leave within twenty-four hours.”

“Even after I married you? Is that why you left me alone this morning? To give me a chance to run?” Did he really think she’d leave after he’d rocked her world—twice—yesterday?

He shrugged. “Maybe. Although we did need some things from town. Mia and Camila say hi, by the way. Fila, the shy one, did, too.”

“Did you wish I had run?” She held her breath.

“No.”

That was all he said and the word was spoken softly, but a warm thrill ran through Ella’s entire body because she didn’t want to leave the ranch, either. Not until she’d gotten to know the cowboy better. Besides, the place was growing on her. It was funny—mucking out the chicken house should have made her resentful, or disgusted, or at the very least hot, tired and annoyed, but instead the experience had grounded her. It had forged a direct connection between her and the ranch, and she liked that. She now could say she’d done something to improve the place. In truth, it had been more than just a pleasing experience. It made her remember who she’d been before she succumbed to all the Hollywood craziness. She couldn’t wait until the stables were stocked with horses. She itched to saddle one up and go for a ride.

Austin stopped walking. Turned to her. “I figured any woman who answered that ad would use the place as an apartment, coming and going without being a part of any of it.”

“But you said right in the ad you wanted your wife to work the ranch with you.”

He shrugged. “Guess I did. It sounded good. I didn’t really believe it was possible, though.”

They shared a searching look and Ella wondered if Austin was trying as hard to fathom her as she was him. She also wondered if she’d ever find out what had happened to him in Afghanistan. He liked her well enough—that was obvious, but something kept him holding back. Of course, every soldier must be deeply affected by war, but she had the sense that Austin’s wounds went deeper than most. She broke off the staring contest first, bending down to pet Milo, who had worked his way close again. “Maybe you should hose me off outside instead of bringing all this dirt into the Hall.”

“That could be interesting.”

She straightened, ready to take advantage of that comment, and caught sight of motion on the road.

“Hey!” She grabbed Austin’s arm. “See that kid?” She pointed to the boy on the bike she’d seen several times now. “He keeps riding by. Do you know him?”

Austin shaded his eyes. “No. Can’t say that I do. He’s too far away to get a good look at, though.”

“He seems awfully interested in the Hall.”

Austin shrugged. “What else is he going to look at on this stretch of road?”

They resumed their walk to the house, but she’d lost her chance to heat things up again. In the end, Ella left her filthy shoes outside and the remainder of her clothes in the laundry room. Austin brought her a towel to wrap up in and by the time she was showered and changed, he’d made lunch—cheese quesadillas—and brought it out to the back porch. Ella privately thought that a hot cowboy who could cook was a beautiful thing, but she didn’t say so out loud.

They worked together for the remainder of the day on the bunkhouse. First they had to drag the heavy, cast-iron bunk beds out into a nearby shed, a task which nearly did Ella in. Then they began the process of framing up the new walls for the his-and-hers offices. She was surprised to see that in addition to two modest-sized windows—one for the side wall of each office—he’d also bought two larger windows—one apiece for the back walls. They would transform what would otherwise be small, dark rooms into spaces full of light.

“That will be gorgeous,” Ella said when she saw them. “We’ll be able to see the mountains.”

“I figured that haven you wanted shouldn’t feel like a closet.”

“Mission accomplished.” She could picture herself sitting in a comfortable armchair placed near the back window of her office, the natural light illuminating the book she was reading or the project she was working on. Austin was right; it would be a haven. “Thank you,” she said simply. On impulse, she stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. It meant so much to her that he would take the time to consider her needs.

Austin eyed her quizzically. “What was that for?”

“For being wonderful.”

The corner of his mouth turned up for a second before his expression dimmed again. Why did he do that, she wondered. Why did he clamp down on any happiness he felt and shut it off like water at a tap? She knew better than to ask.

Ella soon learned there was more to framing up walls than she might have thought. Mostly her job was to be a pair of extra hands while Austin did all the sawing and hammering and drilling. Still, by the end of the afternoon they’d made a lot of progress. All the two-by-fours were in place, the doors and windows were framed up and they’d fitted the two smaller windows into the side walls. A handyman would come the following day to help Austin with the bigger ones and then they’d tackle hanging the sheetrock.

Ella was sweeping the floor in preparation for being done for the day when Austin called her over. He’d gotten quiet during the last half-hour and she’d begun to wonder if he thought renovating the bunkhouse like this was a mistake.

“Would you check this measurement for me?” He waved a tape measure at her. Ella leaned the broom against a wall and joined him in one of the new office spaces. He pointed to a set of two-by-fours framing in the wall.

“Make sure they’re sixteen inches apart, would you?”

She took the tape measure with a frown. They’d already measured the spacing twice over when they put them up, but she strung the tape from one to the next. When she turned to give him an answer, she found his face inches from hers. He moved in slowly, giving her all the time she needed to pull away.

She didn’t pull away. She accepted his kiss gratefully. Accepted his arms wrapping around her. Accepted his hands skimming over her curves. Something about Austin made her want to lean in and soak up as much of him as he was willing to give. She instinctively knew that his giving her anything was a miracle. Austin was a man who held himself aloof from intimacy. Somehow she’d broken through his reticence and she’d be damned if she missed out on any part of the experience.

When he fumbled with her shirt she was right there with him, anticipating his needs. Soon she had it off. Her bra, too. She helped him shed his cotton shirt and smoothed her hands over his chest.

“I don’t know what it is about you that makes me like this,” he rumbled against her throat as he peppered it with kisses.

She worked at the button of his jeans. “Like what?”

He shucked them off and pulled her hand to encircle his hardness. “Like this.”

“I’m glad you’re like that.”

Austin growled and it wasn’t long before they were naked. He lifted her in his arms, braced her against one of the finished walls and she wrapped her legs around his waist. As he sheathed himself with a condom and eased inside her, she gasped out her delight, wondering once again how they could fit together so well—give each other such pleasure—when they hardly knew each other.

This time he watched her as he moved within her, never taking his gaze from her face. As he thrust in and out, building his tempo until she moaned with delight, she trembled with the knowledge that he was going to watch her come. She didn’t know why that made her feel more vulnerable than being naked and allowing him inside her did. He thrust inside her, pulled out and thrust again and Ella drew in a shuddering breath. She was so close—so close—but the intensity of his scrutiny held her back.

A knowing smile curved his mouth, but he didn’t look away.

“Come on, sweetheart.” His voice was husky. “Let go. You’re safe with me.”

Ella came with an intensity that shocked her, wave after wave of sensation pulsing through her until she thought it would never end. After a moment, Austin joined her, his masculine grunts nearly pushing her right up over the top again. When it was over, she found herself close to tears. She forced herself to laugh, instead.

“What?” Austin said, easing out of her and setting her down gently.

“So much for not having sex again. It doesn’t matter where we are, or how we do it. It just works,” she explained. “We could probably do it on one of those obstacles of yours and still manage.”

His quick grin warmed her. “Probably. I hadn’t thought about it. Maybe we should try.”

“You’ve never tried before?” She hadn’t meant to fish for clues to his past, but she couldn’t take the question back now.

“Nope.” He led the way to the bathroom.

“Have you had many opportunities?”

“Are you asking if I’ve had a lot of women?” He shrugged. “A few. Not that many.”

“No one serious?”

“Not really. I’ve been too busy. Moved around too much.”

She got the feeling he didn’t want to delve into the topic further. Knew, too, that she was babbling to keep from thinking about what had just happened. Something had changed in the past twenty-four hours. Safe was the word that had driven him away yesterday. Safe was the word he’d used to bring her to completion just now. Was she safe with Austin? Or was she in danger of losing her heart all over again?

She kept quiet as they put themselves back to rights, and when they left the bunkhouse, Austin took her hand. She didn’t think the gesture was planned. In fact, he was distant as they walked, preoccupied, even. Still, his large strong fingers enclosing hers touched her deeply.

What was he thinking about when that far-off expression came into his eyes? Something haunted him. Something that had happened during his service. “What is it?” she said softly, almost afraid to break his reverie.

He came to with a start and pulled his hand away.

“Nothing.” He sighed. “And that absolutely, positively has to be the last time.”

Ella’s heart plummeted. If he was going to keep stonewalling her afterward, she had to agree. “Never again.” She trailed after him across the grass.

Before either of them could speak again, two pickup trucks drove into the lane and pulled up in front of the Hall. Ella stopped in her tracks. Austin shaded his eyes. “It’s the Turners.”

“Who are the Turners? Do you think I can get inside before they see me?”

Austin laid a hand on her arm to detain her. “Old acquaintances. I met them again at Mason and Regan’s wedding. Before that, they helped Mason fix all the fences on the ranch. They’re good people. They’re trustworthy.”

No one is trustworthy, she wanted to say, but it was too late. The trucks’ doors had opened and a whole troop of people spilled out. Ella’s heart sank as she counted them. Five men and three women. After today her secret haven wouldn’t be a secret any more.

“Hi Noah, Liam,” Austin called out, striding forward to shake their hands. Ella trailed him reluctantly. The only thing in her favor was that she was dressed so casually, and was so mussed by the afternoon’s work that maybe no one would notice her.

“Hi, Ella!”

Her hopes were dashed in an instant when she realized Camila from Fila’s restaurant had come with the Turners.

“Hi,” Ella said reluctantly. She moved forward, too.

“Ella, these are the Turners,” Austin said. “They live on the Flying W ranch out to the west of town. Noah and Liam were born here in Chance Creek.” He nodded to two tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed men in jeans, boots and T-shirts. “Eli, Brody and Alex Turner are their cousins. They moved here from Colorado a year or so ago after Noah and Liam’s father took ill. Now they all work the Flying W together.”

“And we help out from time to time,” one of the women Ella hadn’t been introduced to said wryly. “Hi, I’m Stella Turner, and this is my sister Maya. Noah and Liam are our brothers.”

“It’s nice to meet everyone,” Ella said automatically, employing every trick she’d learned in Hollywood to remember the sudden influx of names. Noah and Liam, Stella and Maya, Eli, Brody and Alex. Information overload.

“And you already met me,” Camila said with a smile. “I brought you dinner.” She handed Ella a white paper bag with several take-out containers in it that smelled wonderful.

“Everyone, this is my wife, Ella,” Austin put in.

“You’re the actress, right? Ella Scales?” Maya said, doing away with any hope Ella might have had that she could remain anonymous. She surveyed the younger woman. Maya didn’t look more than twenty-one—a sweet, fresh, pretty country girl with light brown hair and blue eyes. Her sister was more vivacious, with darker curls and bright hazel eyes.

“Yes.” Ella edged closer to Austin, although what protection he could give her, she wasn’t sure.

“You can’t say anything, though,” Camila told Maya. “We promised Ella that no one would tell a soul that she’s here. She wants a break. She doesn’t want reporters around.” She turned back to Ella. “I’m sorry; I didn’t know what to do when they told me they were coming here.”

“That’s okay.” Ella shrugged. “I guess there wasn’t anything you could do. I just hope everyone will keep quiet about my whereabouts. I don’t want to talk to the press.”

“I don’t blame you,” Maya said with a dramatic shiver. “The way they hunt people down and follow them all over the place? It’s creepy.”

“It is creepy,” Ella agreed. “Are you joining us for dinner?”

“No,” Stella said. “We already ate at the restaurant and have more chores to do. Liam had heard Austin was on his own here this week and wanted to say hello. When we told Camila that we planned to bring him some chow, she said she’d come along—it’s her night to go home early.”

“How did you two meet? Weren’t you supposed to marry Anthony Black?” Maya asked.

“It’s a long story,” Ella said and looked to Austin for help, but he and the Turner men had already drifted off toward the bunkhouse.

Chapter 13

‡

“WE DIDN’T GET much of a chance to talk at the wedding,” Liam Turner said as Austin showed them the renovations they were making to the bunkhouse. “I just wanted to say thank you.”

“For what?” Austin hoped Ella was all right back there with the women. He’d seen her expression when the Turners drove in—she hadn’t wanted any company out here.

“For your service to our country. I have a lot of respect for you and your brothers giving so many years to the military.”

“Thanks.” He searched for a new topic. One that wasn’t so loaded with the landmines of bad memories. “We’re installing new windows in the bedroom and splitting it up into a main room and offices for each of us.”

“Did you see a lot of action over there?” Brody asked. He was one of the Turner cousins, so Austin hadn’t grown up with him and didn’t know his character. The question he’d asked was one Austin particularly hated.

“Some. We’re going to install new appliances in the kitchen, too. We’ll make it a self-contained house…”

“Where were you in Afghanistan?” Brody interrupted.

“Kabul, mostly.”

“How many tours did you do?”

“Three. We’ve fixed up the chicken coop, too,” Austin said in desperation. “Ella worked on that.” He knew he shouldn’t turn the conversation to the actress, but he was desperate to turn it from himself.

“Did you…”

“Brody, can it. He doesn’t want to talk about it,” Liam said.

Brody furrowed his brow. “Why not? He’s a hero, ain’t he?”

Austin’s gut clenched. He hated that word most of all—especially when it was directed at him.

“Don’t you know anything?” Liam went on. “When a guy gets back from a tour, you’ve got to let him decompress a bit. Right, Austin?”

“Right,” he said gruffly. He led the way back out of the bunkhouse.

“But you must have seen some crazy action,” Brody pushed. “You were in the Special Forces, right? That’s some bad-ass stuff! You should be proud to be a hero!”

“You know who’s a hero in my eyes?” Austin snapped, knowing he had to change the subject before he lashed out. The man didn’t know what he was saying. He had no military background and no doubt from the outside the life of a soldier in the Special Forces seemed heroic—even glamorous.

It sure as hell wasn’t glamorous.

“Who?”

“My father. And he never set foot in the military. He stayed right here all his life. Worked this ranch. Married my mother and treated her like a saint. Raised us boys up strong and proud. He kept his temper long past other men. He made peace when the neighbors got to fighting. He didn’t make a splash, didn’t get his name in the newspapers, didn’t run around the world trying to be a super-hero. He just made sure he got his work done every day. Made sure his family was fed and housed and clothed and knew wrong from right. That’s my idea of a hero.”

No one said a word. Austin knew his outburst had surprised them all. He ran a hand over his face, fighting to regain his composure. “All I’m saying is I’m a lot of things, but I’m no hero. Not yet.”

“Okay, Austin.” Liam’s tone was soothing. “We get it. Looks like you aim to stay here now, though—just like your father did. You’ve got a wife. Soon you’ll have kids, too. Plenty of time to be just like him.”

Austin’s throat clogged with pain. Plenty of time, but no way he’d ever be like his father. His marriage was a sham. There’d be no children. He’d already done enough damage that heroism was out of his reach forever.

“Sure.” His answer was curt. “Plenty of time.”

*    *    *

“SEE YOU SOON,” Ella called out as the Turner women and Camila climbed back into one of the trucks. She breathed a sigh of relief as they drove away with the men. She’d learned that Camila rented a room on the Flying W and that she had moved to Chance Creek to get away from a disapproving family back in Texas. She liked Stella and Maya Turner—and Camila—but found it hard to navigate a conversation with them when there were so many secrets to keep. She wanted to believe the women wouldn’t spread news of her whereabouts to anyone else, but she knew that chances were the whole town would know about her soon, if they didn’t know already.

“Ready for dinner?” Austin asked, steering her back toward the Hall. Soon they’d have to finish renovating the kitchen so they could eat at the bunkhouse, but for now she enjoyed the main house’s sunny kitchen.

“Yes. It smells good.” She was prepared for him to question her about what she’d said to the women, but Austin seemed preoccupied. Grim, even. She wondered what the men had said to him, but decided not to ask. After they ate and washed up the dishes together, Ella sat at the dining room table, a ring of paint samples in front of her, with Milo settled for a nap at her feet. She was looking for possible color combinations for the bunkhouse’s interior, and after a few minutes she settled into the task, letting the afternoon’s events slide away. The press would come or it wouldn’t. There was little she could do except trust the Turners not to broadcast her whereabouts.

She thought a smoky gray with white trim would make an elegant pairing, but would perhaps be too elegant for a cottage and too cool a color scheme in the long Montana winters. She switched to a warmer palette of creams. Maybe that was the way to go. As she went, she wrote down possible color combinations on the yellow notepad she’d used earlier for sketching plans for the bunkhouse and for ideas about the future. She was quickly running out of paper. She’d have to ask Austin to bring more notepads home, or maybe even a proper journal.

Austin brought his laptop and joined her, cruising websites listing horses and cattle for sale. He’d told her he’d most likely go through the same connections his family had always used, but that it didn’t hurt to scout around some. She was surprised to find how comfortable it was to work near him, once she got over the idea that she had to chat with him. Austin didn’t seem to need conversation, so she was able to concentrate on the colors in front of her.

When she was done, she decided to retire to the bedroom to read a little before sleeping. Austin had brought home a sack full of books from the library and she set it on the table and rummaged through them until she found one that caught her fancy.

“I’m going upstairs for a while.”

“Ready for bed?” Austin looked up. Was it her imagination, or did the idea interest him? The idea that it interested him certainly interested her.

“No. It’s early. I was just going to read.” She waggled the paperback at him.

He nodded. “I’ll be up soon. I thought you might like that one; it’s by my mother’s favorite author. I caught my father reading one of those once, too.”

“Really?” Ella looked at it again—a sweeping saga of a family in Louisiana. “What were they like? Your parents, I mean.” She tucked the book under her arm.

“Incredible.”

Ella blinked. She didn’t think she’d ever heard anyone use that word to describe their parents. “In what way?”

“In every way. Those two loved each other. Loved each other. You couldn’t miss it.”

“Wow.” Ella was jealous. What would it be like to love someone so completely, you felt comfortable enough to let it show? Hollywood was hard on couples, so maybe she was too negatively biased, but even her parents, who she felt sure loved each other deeply, weren’t openly demonstrative.

“They were best friends. Knew each other growing up. Not quite the girl and boy next door, but close. They palled around as kids, stayed friends into their teens, even when they dated other people. Then, pow—Dad looked up one day and realized he’d always loved Mom. He couldn’t figure out why he’d been wasting his time with other women. So they got married. They lived life fully. They made good friends, worked hard, ate well, had a beer now and then, laughed a lot.”

Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked them back before Austin noticed. Would she ever get a chance at a partnership like that? She and Anthony had never loved each other like Austin’s parents had, even when they’d first gotten engaged. No… a marriage like that took true friendship, something she’d never experienced with a man.

She watched Austin as he scrolled down a list of web pages and clicked on a link. Could she ever be friends like that with him? She liked what she’d seen of him so far—his work ethic, his devotion to his family’s ranch—but she had a feeling he was a man with secrets, and secrets were the enemy of friendship.

“Mom still misses Dad. We all do. Things aren’t the same without him,” Austin went on.

Ella smiled wistfully. “I think I’d like your Mom.”

“You’ll meet her sooner or later, I suppose.”

Right. Why hadn’t she put that together? Of course she’d meet Austin’s family—he wasn’t hiding out from the world the way she was. But he hadn’t told them about her either, had he? When would he do so?

And when would she have enough guts to tell her own parents about him?

Speaking of which.

Time to update them on her current circumstances. She wouldn’t call them, though. She didn’t want to try to go into lengthy explanations about where she was and what she’d done.

“Can I use your laptop for a minute?” she asked Austin.

“Sure.”

She called up the email account she only used with family and typed in what she wanted to say, keeping her message brief and leaving both Anthony and Austin’s name out of it. No sense making it easy for the paparazzi if they somehow intercepted the note.

Hi Mom and Dad,

All is well. On Vacation. Needed a break from the coal mines, so I decided to get back in the saddle again. Having much needed fun. I’ll be in touch soon to give you a real update.

Love,

Me

“Thanks,” she told Austin when she’d sent the e-mail, hoping her parents could decipher the cryptic message, but knowing they’d have plenty of questions for her when it was time to talk. “I’ll head upstairs now.” Milo got to his feet, ready to follow her.

“I’ll be up soon.”

Chapter 14

‡

NO MATTER WHAT, he wouldn’t be with Ella tonight, Austin promised himself as he checked his usual forums and played a few online games. He’d already been with her once today and that was once too often. Telling her about his mother and father’s relationship—about the way they’d been best friends—reminded him that he’d had a best friend once, and now Donovan was dead. No sense putting himself through the wringer again, even for someone as lovely as Ella.

But Ella had felt so damn good in the bunkhouse this afternoon. She always felt so damn good. When he laughed with her, he remembered just how sweet life could be, but all that sweetness was a trap. Life wasn’t sweet—it was a minefield waiting for you to get distracted and take the wrong step. Falling for Ella would be a wrong step. From now on he’d keep his distance—especially at night.

And during the day.

He’d been gratified by her reaction to Milo, though. At first he’d thought about buying a puppy, but when he’d spotted the mutt at the Chance Creek Veterinary Clinic and Animal Shelter, he knew immediately Milo was the right dog to choose. He was just under two years old, energetic but with an even temperament. Austin had a feeling Ella needed a dog like that in her life. The way they had taken to each other proved him right.

He checked his watch, played another round of online poker and checked his watch again, wanting to give Ella a little time alone. When he closed his laptop and stood to head upstairs, he noticed the yellow pad she’d written in earlier, still stuck under the bag of library books.

He set the bag in the corner for the following day, then moved to tidy up the ring of paint chips and the notepad. As he picked it up and let the pages fall into place, he spotted his own name on one. Austin flipped back to see what she’d written.

It took him a moment to work out that she’d been making plans. Brainstorming about the future. First came a list of things he assumed she desired: peace, happiness, belonging, community, usefulness. All perfectly normal desires, as far as he could see. Next came a second list. Perhaps the elements required in her life in order to achieve those desires: fresh air, movement, horses, children, Austin.

His name had a hard line etched through it. She’d changed her mind about him.

But her first inclination had been to include him. Interesting.

There was a third list on the page. A handful of possible occupations. He smiled as he read them. Ranch hand, stable girl, riding teacher, equine therapist.

Equine therapist. He’d heard of that. People who used horses as a kind of therapy tool.

And the last one, written over and over again: mother.

After the lists came several pages in which she detailed the life she wanted to live. Austin knew he shouldn’t read her private thoughts, but he couldn’t stop himself. The picture she painted made his heart ache. She wanted all the same things he once thought he’d wanted. If only he could share that with her.

He tucked the pad into the bag of books and made his way up the stairs, thinking all the while. Her vision of life resonated with his. It was outdoorsy, ranch-based. Full of heart. She wanted children. She really wanted children.

She wanted him.

She might not ever admit that, but it was clear that she did. Despite his best intentions to squash this budding relationship with her, Austin’s blood beat faster in his veins, and his steps up the stairs were quick.

When he entered the bedroom, Ella was curled up in bed reading her book. Milo lay on a small carpet on the floor beside her. When she noticed him, Ella slipped out of bed long enough to put away the paperback, revealing to him that tonight she wore a tank top and panties to sleep in. Not as bad as last night, but still too many clothes for his taste, now that he knew he’d been on her mind. She hadn’t used his name in her description of her fantasy husband, but he recognized himself in him. She wanted him—not just as a lover, but as a possible partner.

As he stripped down, she turned away quickly and he bit back a smile. If he was a gentleman he would leave on his boxers, but he wasn’t a gentleman, and ever since he’d seen his name on her list, he’d been tingling with the knowledge that she ranked him right up there with fresh air, horses and children. That and the fact he’d seen she wasn’t wearing a bra under that top of hers, sparked a desire in him to see just how much his nearness—and nudity—affected her.

By the time he’d crawled between the covers, there was no mistaking where his imagination had taken him. He tried to resist the urge to scoot up behind her, press against her back and let her know exactly how much he wanted her, but it was a losing battle. What would she do if he did?

Remember, Hall—keep your distance, he told himself.

Screw that. Suddenly Donovan’s Texas twang was in his head. There’s a willing woman in your bed. Go get her, soldier.

Austin chuckled. If Donovan were here, that’s exactly what he’d say and maybe he’d be right. He didn’t have to have a relationship with Ella. They were both adults—they could enjoy each other’s bodies with no strings attached.

Ella let out a long sigh just then.

“What’s wrong?” As if he didn’t know.

“I want—”

He waited for her to finish the sentence. She didn’t. Instead, she rolled to face him and slid her hand over his chest. He sucked in a breath as she laid her palm flat over his heart, let it rest there, then smoothed it up over his shoulder and down his arm.

“I know I’m not supposed to do this.”

He was glad she had. With a growl of desire, he pulled her close. The minute her body was pressed against his, he couldn’t stop for anything—not until he’d had his fill of her. She threw herself into making love with as much fervor as he did. Her passionate kisses and the way her breath hitched when he touched her told him everything he needed to know.

Austin flipped her onto her back, skimmed her tank top up and over her shoulders, cupped her bare breasts in his hands and feasted on them, teasing them to hard peaks, squeezing them and laving them until Ella writhed beneath him.

He took time to appreciate her feminine attributes, then drifted lower, kissing and caressing her all the way, until he found a whole new playground to entice him. She tasted so good on his tongue and he used his imagination to take her to the edge of satisfaction, pulled back to let her subside and then did it all over again.

“Austin!”

When it was clear she couldn’t take much more, he heeded her pleas, sheathed himself in a condom and slowly, deliberately, pushed into her until she begged him to go faster—to fill her.

Austin complied.

Once they were joined together they found their rhythm easily and soon he’d lost any pretense to control. He was hungry for her and she for him and neither of them wanted it slow. He thrust into her until he couldn’t hold back any longer, and rejoiced when her cries preceded his own and they fell into oblivion together, soon collapsing into each other’s arms, breathing hard, damp with sweat.

Not nearly sated.

They didn’t talk that night. Didn’t even pretend to sort out their rules around being together. They made love, exploring each other’s bodies and their own capabilities until they finally fell asleep, Ella’s head on Austin’s chest, his arms around her, sharing a single pillow. It wasn’t until dawn broke and Austin woke to find Ella still curled up close to him that he realized what he’d done.

As he shifted away from her, she came awake. As soon as her blue eyes opened, he remembered why he’d gotten carried away.

“We did it again, didn’t we?”

“Yes.”

She rolled to her back. “We can’t keep acting like this. We can’t be together.”

“We won’t. That was the last time. Never again.”

“Because sex is off the table,” she intoned in a deep, ringing voice like a television announcer’s.

When she giggled, Austin said, “You’re supposed to take this seriously.”

“You’re the one who isn’t being serious.”

He supposed she was right, but the covers had slipped, exposing just the shadow of her left nipple. The rosy peak snared his attention. Austin couldn’t look away.

When Ella followed his gaze, she huffed and twitched the covers higher. “See what I mean?”

He tugged the covers down again. “Now I do.”

“Austin!”

“All right.” He sat up and ran a hand through his hair. She was right—this was ridiculous. “We’ll do it one last time. We’ll just go for it, no holds barred. We’ll get it out of our system and that will be it.”

“Okay,” she said doubtfully, but tossed the covers completely aside. An invitation if he ever saw one.

He didn’t need to be asked twice.

They fell into a similar groove for the remainder of the week. They worked together on the bunkhouse and separately at other chores, Ella remaining on the ranch with Milo, while Austin handled the trips to town. Each day they began with the best of intentions to keep their distance from each other, but each night they fell into bed early, unable to keep apart any longer. They promised that every time would be their last, then promptly broke their promises.

Austin had never known such intense lovemaking—had never felt so comfortable exploring a woman’s body. He’d long since wanted to skip the condom, but Ella told him she’d run out of birth control pills a month before her falling out with Anthony, and hadn’t felt like renewing them. Anthony’s lack of interest was what had prompted her rebellion, as she called it. Anthony most decidedly didn’t want kids, but the way she saw it, if he couldn’t even bother to make love to her in the months leading up to their wedding, why should she take care of their protection? Austin asked her why she didn’t call her doctor now and get him to forward the prescription, but she said she didn’t want to get in touch with him, in case the urge to benefit from sharing her whereabouts overcame his professional discretion. She was sure the press would have approached him before now.

He had begun to understand her intense dislike for the press, but he had to admit he felt indebted to them. If she hadn’t needed to escape their scrutiny, she wouldn’t be here with him. And he wanted her here with him. As much as he knew he shouldn’t.

He told himself he was doing this for his family—for future generations of Halls. The ranch belonged to them, too, and he’d needed to marry Ella to secure it for them. The truth was much simpler, though; every time he was near her, every time he even thought of her, he wanted to be inside her. He wanted to possess every inch of her, lavish her with love and sensual attention, fulfill her every dream.

He’d never thought he could have the marriage his parents had. Even as a child he’d known theirs was one in a million. Lately, he thought it might be possible with Ella. They didn’t just enjoy each other in bed. They enjoyed working together, chatting together, making plans together. Ella was as excited about getting horses for the ranch as he was, and she’d proved a willing helper as they fixed up the bunkhouse. That task had taken on a decidedly erotic charge as the days went by, because both of them knew just what they’d do there together when they were done. Austin found himself daydreaming about all the ways and locations he could take Ella in their little home. The thought turned him on more than he liked to admit.

Still, thoughts of Donovan intruded often. Donovan would never have a wife. How was it fair for Austin to have one? He felt like fate was watching him—keeping tabs. Weighing his faults against his happiness. What if he opened his heart to Ella and he lost her, too?

It weighed on him heavily that he hadn’t yet gone to see Donovan’s family, like he’d promised his friend he’d do back in their earliest days of basic training. They told each other that they’d make the visit if either of them died, not to spout platitudes at each other’s families, but to remind them that each of them believed wholeheartedly in the service they were offering to their country, and that they’d known when they signed up they could forfeit their lives.

When he’d made that promise to Donovan and Edgars he’d been all of seventeen years old. A child, really. That didn’t nullify the promise, though. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt Edgars has been to see Carol and Dan Donovan. Edgars had balls.

Austin felt like such a goddamned coward.

He wondered where Edgars was now. How he’d recovered from the injury that had limited the motion of his left arm. Had he reinvented himself in civilian life? Did he have a wife and family?

Probably. Edgars didn’t carry the guilt Austin did. He’d be able to continue on, while Austin was stuck as if his life had stopped when Donovan died. Except his life hadn’t stopped anymore, had it? He might tell himself he wasn’t in a relationship with Ella, but he interacted with her every day, talked and worked with her, ate and played with her, and every night made sweet love to her until he fell asleep, exhausted.

That was a life—the best kind of life—or would be if he could only shake his guilt. When he pictured Donovan now, his friend just shook his head, although he couldn’t say if he was angry, or simply disappointed with Austin’s inability to move on.

*    *    *

SATURDAY MORNING, THEIR idyll was broken by a truck rattling up the driveway and coming to a wheezing stop in front of the house. While their bedroom faced the back of the Hall, they’d opened windows throughout the second floor to catch the breeze the previous night, and the grinding of the truck’s gears floated easily through to their ears.

“What’s that?” Ella said sleepily.

Austin was already on his feet, pulling on jeans and tugging a shirt over his head. He crossed the hall into one of the front bedrooms and swore. “It’s Heloise.”

It took a moment for Ella to remember who Heloise was—the great aunt who owned this ranch and held the power to take it away from Austin and his brothers. She scrambled up, too. “Why is she here?”

“Most likely to give me hell about something or other.”

“Does she know about me?”

Austin shrugged. “I haven’t told her. You’d better get dressed and come down, though, in case someone else has. I’ll have to introduce you.” He turned to face her. “Everything rides on this. If she doesn’t buy this marriage—if she even thinks I’m playing a trick on her—it’ll all be over.”

“She’ll never suspect a thing of me,” Ella said. She had been about to pull on her own jeans and T-shirt, but she decided instead to go for the tousled newlywed look. She dug out her bathrobe, a silky kimono-style number, and wrapped it around her naked body. Austin almost protested, then seemed to think better of it. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

By the time they reached the door, Aunt Heloise, an elderly woman with sharp eyes but an unsteady gait, had reached it too, with the help of a white-haired gentleman whom Ella decided must have driven the truck to bring her here.

Austin opened the door and Heloise’s gaze took in their disheveled state. “Sleeping in, eh? What would your father say?”

“He’d tell me to go back to bed and enjoy my bride.”

“Huh. I heard about your bride. From Reverend Halpern, if you can believe it. Fancy learning about my own nephew’s wedding from the minister and not from the man himself.”

“I’m sorry, Heloise. I was in a hurry to lock her into the deal. I was afraid she’d run away if I waited too long. After that we got wrapped up in our honeymoon.”

“Some honeymoon.” Heloise raised her eyebrows as she took an exaggerated look around the place. “Well, first you deny me the pleasure of seeing you married and now you plan to make me stand out here all day, I suppose.”

“Please come on in, Heloise. You know you don’t have to stand on ceremony at the Hall. Nice to see you again, Allen.” Austin led the way into the kitchen and gestured for them all to sit down. Ella moved to start a pot of coffee and rustle up some breakfast, aware of the old woman’s gaze following her movements. She’d seen recognition in Heloise’s eyes and she wished now she’d chosen clothes instead of this thin robe, but she decided to brazen it out. If Heloise knew who Ella was, she might expect some eccentricity from an actress.

They had half of a coffee cake to offer their guests, thank goodness, so she set it out along with plates and silverware. Soon coffee was perking away, filling the kitchen with its comforting scent.

“Ella, this is my Great Aunt Heloise and Allen James,” Austin said as they sat down. “Allen was a friend of my grandfather and has always been a great help to the family.”

Allen waved this off, but Ella could tell he was pleased.

Austin turned to Heloise. “Heloise, let me introduce you to my wife, Ella.”

“Ella Scales,” Heloise pronounced. “I recognized your face immediately. This is the last place I expected you to turn up, however, after that fiasco of an awards ceremony and then your hissy fit on the Myra show. What are you doing in my kitchen?”

Austin’s lips tightened at the designation of the Hall as hers, but he held his tongue and allowed Ella to take the lead.

“Helping Austin fix up the ranch in preparation for the cattle,” she said smoothly. “Care for some cake?”

“Of course.” Heloise pushed her plate toward Ella. “A big piece. I thought you were marrying that hoity-toity pretty man Anthony Black.”

Ella stifled a laugh. Anthony would have a fit if he heard that description. “I had planned to. Someone better came along.” She laid a hand on Austin’s arm and smiled at him as if she couldn’t wait to be alone with him again. Which she couldn’t.

“And how did you two meet?”

“I propositioned her,” Austin said quickly. “Laid it all out in writing. Told her I’d give her a great place to live in the best state in the nation if she married me. She couldn’t resist.”

“I imagine there’s a speck or two of truth in that explanation, but I doubt it even comes close to accurate. I may be old, but I’m not stupid,” Heloise said. “You pop up here with an actress as a wife and the question has to be asked—is she for real? Or did you hire her to play a part? Why sneak around and marry behind everyone’s back?”

“I thought you wanted all of us married,” Austin said. “You made a bit of a stink about it.”

“Married by the first of April. I didn’t say you had to sneak off and deprive your relatives of their portion of the wedding cake.”

“Mason just had a wedding.” Austin shrugged. “We would have had to wait a decent interval to throw another one, and like you said, Ella just got out of a sticky situation. We didn’t want the press to get a hold of the story and make a national headline out of it. We just… didn’t want to wait, did we?” Austin smiled at Ella and the simmer in his eyes promised all kinds of adventures when they found themselves alone again. Lust stirred within Ella. She knew Austin would make good on that promise. If only this wasn’t a passing fling. If only it could go on. She was growing to care for Austin, for the ranch, too. She might be willing to give this life a shot, if she thought Austin would go along with it.

“I don’t put much stock in a rushed wedding. I don’t put any stock at all in a wedding unattended by the bride and groom’s family.” Heloise obviously wasn’t fooled by any of this, and if she remained unconvinced she could cause a lot of trouble. Ella might not expect to stay on the ranch long term, but she did want a home for the next few months, and Austin wanted it for life. What could she do to assuage Heloise’s doubts?

She blurted out, “We felt the same way the minute it was done. It wasn’t right being alone on our wedding day. That’s why we’ve planned a reception for next month. We’ll invite all our families and friends and celebrate together. We’ll make all the arrangements as soon as Mason and Regan get home.”

Austin flashed her a puzzled look and she answered it with a pointed one of her own, willing him to go along.

“A reception, huh? I guess that’s something. But we still won’t have heard your vows. How do we know what you promised each other? A secret wedding hides a lie, that’s what I’ve always said.”

Damn it, Heloise wasn’t going to give an inch, was she? Ella played with her fork, searching for a good reply.

“That’s why we’re restating our vows, too,” Austin put in. Now it was Ella’s turn to stare. Restate their vows? Was he serious? He reached over and clasped her hand in his. She guessed he was.

“Well, that sounds like a wonderful plan,” Heloise said, clearly satisfied. “Vows and cake! Don’t you think that’s a good idea, Allen?”

“As long as there’s dancing and you’ll let me give you a turn around the floor.” The old man’s eyes sparkled.

“Oh, you old coot—go on with you.” But Heloise lit up and Ella could see she wasn’t averse to the idea. “I suppose pretty soon I’ll hear about great-grand-nephews and nieces, too.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Heloise. I think Mason’s got that under control,” Austin quickly said.

A bit of a suspicious glint returned to Heloise’s eye, but Ella was able to distract her with coffee cake and the conversation stayed neutral for the rest of her stay. Afterward, Heloise told Allen to take her home. “I’ve had enough excitement for one morning,” she said, “but mark my word, Austin. If you want to make sure this filly doesn’t escape the corral, you get her pregnant. That settles any female down, woman or beast.”

“Yes, Aunt Heloise. I’ll keep that in mind.” The look Austin shot at Ella was downright dangerous, and when Allen’s truck had disappeared back up the country road, he led the way back to bed. Ella didn’t protest.

Kids? Yes, please. Too bad she couldn’t have them with Austin.

Chapter 15

‡

SEVERAL HOURS LATER, Ella took a break from working on the bunkhouse to make some phone calls. As she expected, her parents were none too pleased about her replacement wedding to a rancher they’d never heard of before, and even more hurt that she’d eloped, but they were somewhat mollified when she asked them to come to the vow renewal and reception when she and Austin got it planned. Ella told them it was a whirlwind courtship and wedding, but she didn’t tell them it was only temporary. Her parents had a real regard for the institution of marriage and they wouldn’t have understood. As it was, her mother had plenty of things to say.

“All these years I felt we did the right thing encouraging your acting career, but I’ll tell you, these last six months or so I’ve been second-guessing myself from here to sundown. First that idiot, Black, and now you’ve married a complete stranger? Are you on drugs?”

She assured her mother she was not on drugs, dealt with the rest of her parents’ questions as best she could and then got off the line. Next she called her accountant and made arrangements to move some of her money to a local bank. She hesitated about what to do next. She’d been deleting all the calls and messages she received from acquaintances and strangers without even opening them. She didn’t delete Marianne’s but she didn’t always open them either. They were all the same. Short imperative notes telling her to get in touch, right now. Ella didn’t want to get in touch. She didn’t want to hear about how she’d blown everything for Marianne. Didn’t want to know that her friend had been denied her promotion—again. Today she noticed a voicemail from Marianne dated just that morning and something told her it was time to reconnect with the real world. She clicked on the voicemail and lifted her phone to her ear.

“Okay, you’ve made your point, Ella. I’m a total bitch. I should never have let Myra Cramer bring Anthony and Kaylee on her show to confront you. It’s just that I knew it would bring great ratings, and you and Anthony have such chemistry. Hollywood loves controversy! I love you, Ella. I miss you. Don’t keep ignoring me. Please call back.”

Ella would have softened at Marianne’s pleading voice if it hadn’t been for her admission about the show. She knew Anthony and Kaylee would be on it too? And she didn’t even give Ella a warning?

“By the way,” Marianne’s voice went on. “I’ve been inundated with scripts for you to look over. Some of them are really good. Now that Anthony’s a client of mine, all the stress is off. I’ve gotten my promotion, so I won’t need to push you so hard. Take the movies you want and leave the rest behind. It’ll be great!”

Wait, Anthony was Marianne’s client? When had that happened? How had that happened? Had Marianne deliberately booked him on Myra’s show?

Marianne continued. “I’m telling you, Ella—these scripts are the best I’ve ever gotten for you. All this notoriety has gotten you a lot of attention. Maybe Kaylee did you a favor, after all.”

Ella nearly dropped the phone.

“Anyway, get in touch and we’ll set up some meetings. This is some really good stuff, kiddo—better than you’ve ever been offered before. Leading lady roles in the kind of movies you’d kill for.”

Ella clicked off the phone.

Leading roles. She’d always wanted to play the lead in a movie.

Now she never would.

She grabbed a glass of lemonade from the kitchen and took it outside to the Hall’s front steps to cool off. She sat down, held the cool glass up to her overwarm cheeks and spotted the boy on the bicycle again.

*    *    *

AUSTIN WATCHED THE boy pedal past as he made his way toward the largest of the barns. As soon as Mason got home, they would start procuring horses and cattle—and the rest of the tools of the trade—and he wanted to make sure all was ready for them. His inspection had taken him through most of the outbuildings so far. This barn was the last one, and then he’d head into the fields to check the fences Mason, Regan and the Turners had repaired.

There were several other ranches out this way, and he wondered which one the boy belonged to. It must get lonely out here if he didn’t have any siblings, but most ranch families were bigger than that. Austin had never had a chance to get lonely when he was growing up. Between all his chores and all his brothers, he didn’t have the time.

He had ridden a bike like that when he was that boy’s age, but he’d far preferred horses. He was glad Ella shared his interest and knew how to ride. If she hadn’t, he would have enjoyed teaching her, but this way they could enjoy the ranch together right from the start. The minute they had the mounts, he’d take her for a ride all around their borders so that she would know every inch of them.

Austin paused, his stride hitching. He was acting as if Ella would stay here permanently.

Resuming his pace, he decided it made sense for her to know the Hall’s boundaries even if she was only here temporarily, but the idea of her leaving made him impatient. He didn’t want to think about the future any more than he wanted to think about the past. He wanted everything to stay like it was now. Him and Ella together—alone.

They wouldn’t be alone come tomorrow, though. Mason and Regan were due home from their honeymoon and then their presence on the ranch would change things, and not just because it would be time for all of them to get to work. He and Ella would have to act happily married at all times, although that wasn’t a hardship these days.

Would Mason or Regan guess that they were lying, though? If so, would they agree to keep the secret until April to fool Aunt Heloise? Austin hoped so—he didn’t know what else he could do. He had a feeling if he split up with Ella now, Heloise wouldn’t accept a replacement wife. She seemed adamant that they be truly settled, with kids on the way.

That was another thing—would he have to keep fending off Heloise’s suggestions that he and Ella have a baby? He could stand that, but he wasn’t sure Ella could. He remembered the pad of paper she’d written on, with the word mother written several times. She wanted children badly. What if she decided she couldn’t wait until spring to fall in love with another man, get married and start a family?

He hated the idea that she could fall in love with anyone. Hated the idea of her sleeping with another man. But the thought of her having someone else’s baby—making a family with him—that was the worst of all.

Surely this was a punishment for his part in Donovan’s death, because the day he had to watch Ella walk away—into another man’s arms—would most likely kill him.

Chapter 16

‡

ONCE AGAIN ELLA wore her baseball cap low over her eyes. Paired with beat up jeans, tennis shoes, a cotton T-shirt and an ugly windbreaker they’d unearthed in one of the Hall’s closets, it hid her shape, but she still worried about being recognized. She’d meant not to leave the ranch at all during her year in Chance Creek, but after only seven days on the ranch she was beginning to go stir-crazy, and Austin convinced her that no one would pay any attention to them in the airport—especially not dressed like this. Milo waited for them patiently in the back seat of the truck with the windows rolled down for air. Now they stood at the baggage carousel where Austin had waited for her a week ago, and Ella kept her head down and tried hard to blend in. She couldn’t believe how much her life had changed in the last seven days. Instead of obsessing over lines or her weight or what she was wearing or a thousand other details of Hollywood life, she’d spent the last week renovating a cottage, cleaning and making repairs, painting walls, scrubbing the bunkhouse’s bathroom and kitchen, helping Austin install the new appliances.

And every night she’d been made love to until she could hardly breathe. She’d slept like a baby, woken with a spring in her step, and to top it off, she’d have horses to ride any day now. Lots of horses. She couldn’t wait.

“There they are. Mason is the one in the black hat.” Austin touched her arm, noticed what he’d done, pulled away, then a second later took her arm again. Ella frowned. Austin was as nervous as she was, wasn’t he?

There were a lot of hats on the men disembarking from the plane, but she spotted the one Austin meant and caught the family resemblance between the brothers. Like Austin, Mason was tall and broad-shouldered with a powerful frame that spoke of an active life. He had the same upright military bearing, as well. She saw the couple spot them back. Mason grinned to see his brother and Regan lit up, too. In fact, the newlyweds were positively glowing with happiness. A flash of jealousy surged through Ella. She wanted to be that happy. She wanted to be properly married to a man who loved her as much as Mason obviously loved his wife. No one could mistake the proprietary way he escorted her down the corridor toward them. Austin’s touch on her waist was all too awkward in comparison.

The two couples came together in a flurry of greetings, but Mason quickly turned from Austin to look Ella over. “Who is this?”

Ella felt weird not taking off her sunglasses. They were inside, after all, and they were meeting for the first time. She couldn’t chance it, though.

“This is my wife, Ella. We’ll tell you the whole story on the way home.” Austin tried to usher Mason and Regan toward the baggage carousel, but Mason was having none of it.

“Your wife?” he exclaimed in a voice loud enough to hush the crowd around them. A number of heads turned their way. “You got married? Without us? Last weekend you didn’t even have a girlfriend.”

“Keep it down. I told you last weekend I thought I was making progress. Well, I made some progress. Come on.” Austin waved a hand at the carousel. Mason stood his ground.

“Not until you introduce me. Where the hell are your manners?” He stuck out a hand. Ella shook it. “I’m Mason Hall. I hope Austin has told you about me, at least, since he didn’t see fit to tell us about you. This is my wife, Regan. We got married last Saturday.”

“I know.” Ella smiled. “I heard all about the wedding. It sounds like it was beautiful.”

“Well then you know more about us than we do about you. Ella.” He cocked his head. “What’s your maiden name? Are you from around here?”

“Scales,” Regan said suddenly, bending near her. She’d been staring at Ella since the two couples met. “You’re Ella Scales, aren’t you?”

More heads turned their way. Ella didn’t feel like smiling anymore. “I’ll wait in the truck,” she hissed at Austin and rushed away before Regan or Mason could draw more attention to her. The last thing she needed was for someone to snap a photo of her in this ridiculous getup. What had she been thinking, coming here? And what must Regan and Mason think of her, now that she’d dashed off in such an awkward way? She never should have left the ranch.

Out in the parking lot she found Austin’s truck and climbed in, pushing Milo aside. She rolled up the windows most of the way and manually locked the all the doors. A few moments later, Regan knocked on her window. “Can you let me in?”

Ella did so, still doing her best to hide her face. Regan climbed into the bench seat in the extended cab. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you were trying to be incognito.”

“Trying and failing.”

“And me not helping one bit! I really didn’t mean to mess things up for you.”

Ella sighed. “Of course not. I’m sorry for my behavior. It was stupid of me to come here today. I’ve been trying to hide from the press, but when Austin invited me along, a trip off the ranch sounded good. I hoped I could get in and out of the airport without being spotted.”

“I don’t blame you. If it makes you feel better, you’ve been sighted in Cancun with a man half your age. At least, that’s the latest from the tabloids.”

“I’m frolicking on the beach with a fifteen-year-old? Yuck!”

Regan laughed. “All right—half your age might be an exaggeration.”

“The only frolicking I’ve been doing is with—” Ella cut off, realizing what she had been about to say.

Regan’s quick grin told her she’d followed her train of thought. “How did you and Austin meet? Was it a secret romance? I thought Austin has been overseas for over a year, though, so how—?”

Luckily for Ella the men showed up with the newlyweds’ luggage and climbed in the truck, too. She moved in back with Regan and let Mason have the front seat. She didn’t think his long legs would fold up enough for him to fit on the bench seat. Austin managed to keep the conversation squarely on Mason and Regan’s honeymoon until they reached Crescent Hall, but once the truck was unpacked and everyone had met again in the kitchen for an early lunch, there was no avoiding the topic of how they’d met.

“Through an online ad, just like you did,” Austin said in answer to Mason’s repeated question.

“The one I placed?”

“No, a different one. I refined the message so I’d catch this hottie.” Austin gave her a squeeze on his way to the refrigerator to fetch the orange juice. Ella, standing at the kitchen counter chopping fruit for a salad, stiffened at the sudden gesture. This new Austin—the one who was acting for his brother’s benefit—unnerved her. Now she would have to start analyzing his every move, wondering what was fake and what was real. She didn’t like that idea.

“How long did you know each other before you got married?” Regan asked.

“Not too long.” Austin shrugged.

Regan’s eyes narrowed. “How long is that?”

Neither of them answered. Ella busied herself with the salad, wanting Austin to take the lead. Why, oh why hadn’t they settled on a story beforehand?

“It was a whirlwind romance,” Austin said finally. “Just like yours.”

“We both wanted the same thing, and we decided to go for it,” Ella put in. “Right, honey?”

Austin blinked at the endearment, but recovered quickly. “That’s right.”

Regan didn’t look convinced. “Well, I thought you were terrific in The Bride Wore Black, Ella. You should have won the Oscar.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re here on our ranch, though. What will you do next? Do you have another project lined up?” She sat back in her chair. “You two aren’t heading back to Hollywood, are you?”

Ella heard the anxiety in the other woman’s voice. “No. I’m done with acting. I gave all that up.”

“Ella decided she wants a quieter life now. We can give that to her here. The last thing she wants is to be hounded by the press, so none of us are going to say anything about her presence here, got it?”

“It’s a secret?” Mason asked.

“Of course it’s a secret,” Regan interrupted. “The last time Ella met up with Anthony she nearly knocked him out cold in front of a studio audience.” She turned to Ella. “I understand why you want to keep your location on the down-low. But what about your marriage? Is that secret, too?”

“Aunt Heloise knows, if that’s what you’re asking,” Austin said. “And the rest of our family and friends will know when they get the invitations.”

“Invitations to what?”

“Our vow renewal and reception,” Ella said, setting the salad on the table. “Heloise didn’t like it one bit that we’d married on our own.”

“I don’t like it either,” Mason put in.

“So we decided to do it again in August.” Ella sat down. “We wanted to wait until you got home to see what you thought.”

“About having another wedding? We’re all for it,” Mason said.

“Of course,” Regan said. She brightened as she took hold of the idea. “It’ll be fun. I’ll get to help plan a wedding without having any of the jitters. Not that I didn’t enjoy my wedding,” she hastened to add when Mason frowned, “but I was so worried about something going wrong. This time I’ll sit back and enjoy myself.”

“Then I’ll start making plans.” Ella tried to match Regan’s excitement, but all she could think about was the impossibility of keeping her whereabouts a secret as soon as they issued invitations to their guests. “It won’t be a large celebration. Just some family and close friends. And I really, really don’t want the press to find out about it. They’ll be all over the ranch when they find out that I’m here. They wouldn’t just write about me, either—they’d look into all of your affairs. Your money, your plans, your friends, your military careers.” She took some of the salad and passed it on.

Mason accepted the bowl and added some to his plate. “So what? I’ve got nothing to hide.”

“Really?” Austin challenged. “What about that Wife Wanted ad you’ve got plastered all over the Internet? You want that to be the cover story on every tabloid around? They sell those at the grocery store in town, you know.”

Understanding dawned in Mason’s eyes. “They’d write about that?”

“I guarantee it,” Ella said.

“And Heloise would see it.” Mason nodded. “She’d have Darren over here in a jiffy as the new heir for Crescent Hall. Got it. We’ll keep it quiet then.”

“But when the fuss about you and Anthony blows over, things will change, right?” Regan said, taking her turn with the salad. “You’re not going to hide forever?”

“Not forever. Just until the reporters find someone else to write about.” Austin handed out the grilled cheese sandwiches and joined them at the table.

“Longer than that,” Mason said firmly. “If there’s a whiff of a chance they might make a fuss about the Wife Wanted ad, then we’d better keep Ella under wraps until Aunt Heloise signs over the deed.”

“That was my plan,” Ella said.

“But that’s not for another nine months.” Austin settled into his seat. “What are the chances we can possibly keep her hidden for that long?”

Mason thought about that. “We’d better keep the guest list for the vow renewal really small. Who can we trust?”

“Some people already know.” Austin ticked them off on his fingers. “Heloise and Allen James, Mia Matheson, Camila Torres, Fila Matheson, all of the Turners.”

“And Reverend Halpern and those two women who were our witnesses,” Ella said, wiping her mouth after a bite of her grilled cheese.

“And none of them have told anyone else?” Mason sounded surprised. Austin didn’t blame him. Secrets were worth more than money in this town.

“They may have, but so far we haven’t seen hide nor hair of the press.”

“My parents will come,” Ella said.

“I could invite mine, too,” Regan said. “They won’t tell anyone.”

“All right, that ought to work,” Mason said. “Other than the reception, we’ll just have to keep Ella on the ranch and everyone else off of it for the next nine months.”

All of them were silent for a moment, and Austin knew just what they were thinking. The chances of making it through a single month were slim to none.

“We’d better think up a backup plan. Something to tell Heloise if she hears about the ad,” Austin said.

“We’ll just say it was a means to an end.” Mason shrugged. “Who cares how we met our wives as long as we love them, and they love us.”

“I guess. You know Heloise, though.”

“I know a way to convince her you two are for real.” Regan helped herself to more of the salad.

“How’s that?”

“Get pregnant.”

Austin blinked. Why was everyone so set on them having a baby? “I thought you two were taking care of that.”

“We are. We have.” Mason grinned suddenly. “I was so surprised about Ella I forgot to tell you. We’re having a baby. Regan told me on our wedding night.”

“Well… congratulations,” Austin managed to say. “So if you two are having a baby, there’s no reason for us to.”

“Sure there is,” Regan said. “Once Ella is pregnant, Heloise will back right off. She wants heirs for the ranch more than anything else. Besides, it would make me feel better, too, just in case anything goes wrong with my pregnancy. I’m sure nothing will,” she rushed to say. “It’s just I know the statistics. If I… miscarry…” She seemed hesitant to even say the word, her fear suddenly evident in her face. “I would be devastated to lose the ranch, too. And if you get pregnant now, Ella, our kids will be born close together!” She beamed at them, as if this final argument carried the most weight of all.

Austin didn’t know what to say to that, but Ella leaned forward. “You’re afraid that if you lose the baby, we’ll all lose the ranch?”

Regan nodded. “That’s about the size of it. I wouldn’t ask you to rush things just for me, but since it would get Heloise off your back, too, why not go for it?”

“There’s no time,” Austin said, feeling like he was drowning. “I’d have to get Ella pregnant in the next two weeks. We haven’t discussed having kids so soon.” He expected to Ella to jump in and back him up, but she looked thoughtful.

“Well, why not?” Regan looked from one to the other. “You two want kids, don’t you?”

Austin felt cornered. He began to wonder how long Regan had been plotting this ambush.

“Of course we do,” Ella said suddenly. “If you need us to have a child right now, the least we can do is try.”

Austin opened his mouth to protest, but Ella took his hand and squeezed it. “Sure thing,” he managed to say. “No time like the present.” But he knew there was no way he was having a kid. Not with Ella. Not with anyone.

*    *    *

“I SHOULD HAVE known this is where we’d find them,” Regan said. After lunch was over, she and Ella had shooed the men away and cleaned up the dishes before wandering out back to see where they’d gotten to. They’d followed Mason and Austin’s voices to the edge of the woods to find the men about halfway through the obstacle course. They were shouting insults at each other like a couple of little boys. It was good to hear Austin’s laughter, Ella thought. He was so serious most of the time.

“I guess it’ll get a lot of use. I don’t think I could do half these obstacles.” Ella worked hard to sound cheerful. There had been an awkward moment with Regan when she’d spilled the beans that she and Austin were renovating the bunkhouse, and Regan hadn’t been able to hide her dismay. Ella realized too late that the other woman had painted and fixed up the Hall’s interior during the weeks before her marriage to Mason. Though there was much more to do, she’d been very proud of all that she’d accomplished and she was hurt that Ella and Austin wanted to move out. Ella had backpedaled fast to undo the damage, but she was afraid Regan would think she was a stuck-up snob.

Regan got a private smile on her face. “You might be surprised.”

“You’ve run it?” Ella was surprised. Dainty Regan didn’t look like a candidate for a course like this.

“Mason and I ran it together, actually. It was fun.” A grin tugged at her mouth again. Ella felt a pang, understanding the subtext. They’d run it together, huh? Maybe partway. Judging by Regan’s expression she’d bet they’d gotten distracted during their race in the nicest of ways. She wished she shared a memory like that with Austin. It seemed like Regan and Mason had fun no matter what they did, but while she and Austin had tons of fun when they slept together, in between times they weren’t always sure how to act toward each other, and that was confusing. In fact, Austin’s behavior was confusing all around. She knew he liked her. He was definitely attracted to her. They got along fine no matter what they did. Still, Austin held back from her. Something was worrying him—she just didn’t know what.

A few moments later the men pounded across the finish line, their shirts soaked with sweat, their voices loud as each of them proclaimed himself the winner.

“Mason got it this time,” Regan said.

“What? You’ve got to be joking!” But Austin still smiled as he walked in a circle to recover his breath.

Regan moved closer to her husband. “Ella showed me the bunkhouse.”

Mason pulled her in close to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. She wrinkled her nose, but didn’t protest, even though his shirt looked damp with sweat. “Austin showed me too,” he said. “You okay with the arrangements?”

“At first I wasn’t,” she admitted, “but Ella is doing a really good job in there. And if she gets pregnant in the next couple of weeks, I’ll forgive her anything.”

“I love what you’ve done to the Hall,” Ella rushed to say, grateful for the opportunity to clarify her position and mend some fences. “It’s a gorgeous house—I didn’t move out because I didn’t like it. I just need privacy. A lot of it, I’m afraid. The last decade has left me wary of people, and wary of being photographed. I need somewhere I can totally be at ease.” She wanted so badly for Regan and Mason to understand. The other couple nodded, but she sensed them pulling back.

“That’s okay. When Zane moves home and finds a wife there will be plenty of people living in the Hall.” Mason gave Regan a squeeze. “And soon there’ll be kids running around, too. Right, Austin?”

Ella darted a look at Austin, who was struggling to hide his discomfort. Luckily, Regan didn’t seem to notice. She smiled at Ella—a genuine smile. “I sure hope so.”

Heat climbed into Ella’s cheeks. Regan wouldn’t smile like that if she knew she was being tricked. As much as Ella wanted children, she knew she wouldn’t get to have them with Austin.

Or could she?

She’d planned to simply be careful with Austin and announce in a few weeks that she hadn’t gotten pregnant. With a two week window, it was doubtful they’d succeed even if they tried.

But what if she did get pregnant? She’d always wanted a child and time was wasting. She had plenty of money and nothing else to do this year except hang out on the ranch. She had a man willing to sleep with her, even if that was the extent of his commitment. They could make another deal like the one they already had in place. Austin could help her get pregnant. When they divorced she’d take her baby with her.

“I think I’ll get back to work on the chicken coop,” she said out loud, determined to get away where she could think things through.

“I got the paint you asked for. It’s in the tool shed,” Austin said.

“Chicken coop?” Regan sounded interested.

“I’m sprucing it up. Austin said we could get baby chicks.”

Regan linked her arm through Ella’s. “I’ve always wanted baby chicks. Would you show me the paint?”

Chapter 17

‡

“YOUR COLOR SCHEME met with approval?” Austin asked Ella an hour later when he met her at the coop. He’d been relieved when he saw Regan walk back to the Hall where Mason met her. Hopefully the newlyweds would take a well-earned nap and relax for the rest of the day before rejoining them for dinner. He wanted time alone with Ella.

“Seeing as all I did was match the color of the Hall the best I could, there wasn’t much for her to object to.” Ella sat back on her heels, paint brush in hand. She was coating the chicken coop with a weathered gray paint.

“Does that mean you two are getting along?”

Ella chuckled. “Yeah, we are. I think Regan really wanted us to live in the Hall, but she’s coming around.”

“Mason and I will move the bed into the bunkhouse by nightfall.”

“Great.” She smiled up at him.

Austin considered his next words carefully. “We never discussed children.”

“We never discussed much of anything, if you think about it.”

“Maybe we better start.”

She leaned forward to dab more paint on the coop, revealing a swell of breast under the scoop neck of her T-shirt. With her baseball cap on and her hair pulled in a ponytail through the back, she looked like any other country girl around these parts, except for her luminous beauty.

Since she hadn’t responded, he figured it was up to him. “I never planned to have kids.”

“Why not?”

Her expression was inscrutable. Austin thought about her question. “Being in the Special Forces is dangerous. I know what it’s like to lose a father. I wouldn’t put a child through that—or a wife.”

“That makes sense. I’d given up on kids myself. If I’d taken off time from my career for pregnancies and births, I would have missed too many scripts. I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have. And Anthony didn’t want them.”

“But now you’re done with acting. And with Anthony.” He shifted nearer, restless as usual when he heard the actor’s name.

“And you’re done with soldiering.”

He nodded. That still felt strange to acknowledge, but it was true. “Have you changed your mind?”

She held very still for a long time, as if checking in with her body to find the answer to that. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Austin was unprepared for a prickle of excitement that brought his body on alert. Hadn’t he just told himself there was no way he would have kids?

“Yes, as long as we can make a deal. Think about it this way. If I can get pregnant right away, then no one will question our marriage—including Heloise. Once Heloise signs over the deed next year, we’ll get divorced and the baby and I will go on our way.”

“What? Hold on now.” Austin straightened. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. She thought he’d knock her up and then let her walk away—just like that? What kind of man did she think he was?

The kind who entered into a marriage of convenience, he supposed. After all, he’d had no problem with that deception. Still, her assumption rankled.

“It’ll be hard, though. Leaving.” She stopped painting.

“Why?”

“You really have to ask?” She glanced up at him. “Maybe you do.” She dipped her brush in the paint and got back to work, her movements jerky.

Austin didn’t know what to say. “I don’t want to be like this,” he managed to say. “But I can’t…”

“I know.” She stood up. “I understand that you’ve been through something that’s left you unwilling to get close to a woman. I thought I’d never want to get close to a man again, either. Now I’m not so sure. But one thing I do know is that when I get married for real it will need to be all or nothing, Austin. Maybe…” She faltered. “Maybe you and I could… fall in love. But when our time here is up, unless you can be the kind of husband Mason is to Regan and unless I can be the kind of wife she is to him, then I’ll leave with the baby and you and I won’t have any more contact. I can’t have you coming and going in my life. In our lives.”

She was trembling, Austin saw. This was important to her. It occurred to him she had changed since they first met. Back then she’d been in shock—horrified by what her fiancé had done to her—but away from Hollywood she was beginning to realize she still wanted love, marriage and even kids. He was beginning to think he might want them too, but not until he paid his debt to Donovan. He owed his friend… something. He’d thought it was his happiness. Now he wasn’t entirely sure. Meanwhile, he was holding Ella back—and would continue to do so for at least nine more months. Why shouldn’t she get a child out of the bargain if that’s what she really wanted?

“You want a baby?”

She nodded. “I do. No matter what happens between us, I do. It’s time for me to move forward with my life—with or without a man.”

He turned that over in his mind. If she didn’t have a child with him, she’d have one with someone else. He felt too possessive of her to allow that.

“Okay.”

“Okay, what?” she asked.

“Let’s have a baby.” To hell with the consequences. He’d sort that out later. Ella was not going to be with another man.

“Really?”

“Hell, yeah.”

She tossed the paintbrush aside and flung her arms around his neck, kissing him squarely on the mouth. “Thank you!”

A surge of raw want raced through his body.

“Where are we going?”

Austin hadn’t realized he was pulling Ella along toward the bunkhouse, his long strides eating up the ground. She had to jog to keep up with him.

“No time like the present.”

“But—”

He stopped so abruptly she slammed into him. “Are you in or out?”

She stared at him, wide-eyed. “I—I—in.”

That was all he needed to hear. He picked her up, tossed her over his shoulder and nearly dashed the last yards to the bunkhouse. Their bed was still in the bedroom they’d used in the Hall. They hadn’t bought any other furniture yet. There was nothing to soften the hard floor. Austin scanned the building in frustration.

“Take your clothes off.”

Ella rolled her eyes. “Yes, sir.”

“Take them off.” He began to strip down himself, leading the way into the bedroom. He arranged his shirt and pants on the floor, added hers to the pile. It wasn’t much but it would have to do. He hoped to god Mason and Regan were taking a good long nap safely within the Hall. With no curtains on the windows, they’d get an eyeful if one of them chanced by.

Ella stood before him in her bra and panties, her breasts swelling sweetly over the lacy cups, the curve of her hips beckoning to him. He lowered himself to the floor and pulled her down to lay on top of him, deciding to bear the brunt of the hard surface. It was the gentlemanly thing to do.

It didn’t hurt that he loved the sway of her breasts as she leaned down to kiss him. He captured her mouth with his and raised a hand to curve around one, lifting it to feel its generous weight in his hand. He ran his thumb over the soft skin above the lacy line of the garment and Ella sighed. When he slid his hands around her back to undo its clasp, she quickly wriggled out of it.

Austin took a moment to savor the sight before he took one breast, then the other, into his mouth and showed them his appreciation. Ella closed her eyes and parted her lips, letting him know exactly how good he was making her feel. That knowledge turned him on as much as the thought of making her pregnant did. He wanted to take his time with their lovemaking, but the sheer sexiness of Ella’s response to his touch made it hard to wait, as usual.

She straddled him, grinding her core against his hardness. He’d already stripped off his boxers and the dampness of the scrap of fabric between her legs had him pushing against her, eager to gain entry. He tried to take his time, skimmed his hands all over her curves, down her back, over and around to cup her ass and pull her tighter, and up again, but neither of them were prepared to take it slow.

Not this time.

Ella kissed him, hooked her thumb under the waist of her panties, then shucked them off, never breaking contact. This involved several writhing motions, her breasts slapping against his chest in the most delightful way, and a fantastic view of her derriere as she arched over him and lifted it high to untangle her legs from the fabric. When she’d tossed them away, she sat back down and her damp heat against his hardness instantly brought every nerve in his body alight.

“You sure about this?” she asked, looking like a fertility goddess, all naked, lush and beautiful.

“Definitely.”

He’d never been more sure about anything in his life. He took hold of her hips, but Ella pulled back. Was she having second thoughts?

“What is it?”

“It’s just—” She bit her lip.

Austin wasn’t sure he could wait to be inside her. “What?”

“I want something different.”

Something—Austin understood. “A different position?” Did she really feel shy asking for that when they’d been together so many times? “You can tell me—I bet I’ll say yes.”

“I want you to take me… from behind.”

Heat flooded through Austin, leaving him rock hard and aching with the need to fulfill her wish. He sat up, spilling her off his lap and quickly lifting her so he could move into position behind her. He braced one hand on her hip to hold her steady, and used the other to make sure she was ready for him. When his fingers found her warm, wet center, he knew he had nothing to worry about.

He pressed himself against her and Ella let out an unsteady breath. Austin held back, letting her anticipation build. When she shot a look of pure desperation over her shoulder, he pressed forward and sunk himself home.

They started slowly, Ella pressing back against the rhythm of his strong strokes. The view this position gave him was spectacular. Watching Ella writhe under his touch, watching himself move in and out of her had him straining to hold back. He pumped harder and Ella moaned. He increased his pace. Ella had tossed off any inhibitions she once might have harbored and when he sped up his motions, she allowed him to plunder her thoroughly, savagely and completely until she cried out in a climax that had her arching her back and moaning with her release.

Austin soon followed her, bucking against her uncontrollably as he went over the edge in a mindless rush. When they collapsed together, he thought nothing could ever top the sensation of his bare skin against hers. Joining with her without the barrier of a condom between them was a miracle all on its own.

“You realize we’re going to have to do this morning, noon and night for the next few weeks. We have to make sure you have a real shot at getting pregnant.”

“Of course. I’m looking forward to it.” Ella rested her head on his chest, her silky hair spilling over both of them, and Austin just managed to stifle a groan.

He was looking forward to it, too.

*    *    *

SEVERAL DAYS LATER, late in the afternoon, Ella found a quiet spot around the far side of the Hall from the outbuildings where Austin and Mason were working. They’d moved the bed from the Hall’s second floor to the bunkhouse the night Mason and Regan had arrived, and in the intervening time had gone on to make other fixes around the ranch. Regan was in the Hall’s kitchen now, preparing a dinner for all four of them. She’d assured Ella there would be a vegetarian option, but when Ella offered to help, she shooed her away, saying she was happiest when she was cooking alone.

Ella had been more than happy to leave her to it. She needed time to think. Trying to get pregnant had certainly galvanized her and Austin’s sex life. She’d thought they’d been pretty passionate before, but both quality and quantity had improved with their new goal. Austin had proved to be an inventive and skilled lover. She was pretty sure he’d ruined her for other men. Still, that distance remained between them. If she’d hoped he’d open up once they were together more, she’d have been disappointed.

She asked Austin once why he was so eager to make love to her if he didn’t want to be a father. “I thought you didn’t want kids.”

“I thought so, too.”

“But now…”

“Nothing’s changed. I’m not fit for marriage or fatherhood,” he said and kissed her to take the sting of his words away. “It’s just thinking about doing it—about making you pregnant—gets me hot. It doesn’t make any sense.”

She knew what he meant. It changed things for her, too. It made her feel more feminine. More sensual.

She was okay with that.

Still, she wished for a fuller relationship with Austin, and today she’d woken with the sense that maybe she’d jumped into this feet first like she seemed to do everything these days. She needed to slow down. To figure things out. To think about the future she faced when she left Chance Creek.

This side of the Hall faced more empty pastures. Soon they would be full of cattle, she supposed, but for now she was as alone here as if she was the only woman on earth. She sat down in the house’s shadow, leaned back against the foundation and wrapped her arms around her knees. It was a strange place for thinking, but no one would look for her here and solitude was what she craved.

So much had happened in the last four months. Losing the Oscar. Finding out about Anthony and Kaylee. Running away.

Meeting Austin.

She’d gone from movie star to ranch wife in the blink of an eye. She kept waiting for the sorrow to kick in. The anger. The resentment.

Instead, she felt relief. Mixed with… anticipation. Why didn’t she miss Hollywood more?

She leaned her head back against the wall and watched a swallow dart past against a blue sky so large she could get lost in it.

Because being an actress had never been her dream.

Had she enjoyed it? Yes, some of it. She’d even enjoyed the attention and lavish lifestyle for a while, but she’d enjoyed it in the way you enjoy a vacation from real life. It was fun, interesting, exciting even. But now she longed to get back to work.

Which was odd, since acting was her work.

It hadn’t always been her career goal, however. She remembered the simple dream of her teenage years to become a therapist and work with children and horses. Now she lived on a ranch. Was it time to revisit that dream?

A quick search on the Internet via her phone dashed that idea. She would need seven years of school to become a certified therapist. She wouldn’t have blinked at that right out of high school, but did she want to wait another seven years to start a brand new career?

She looked back at the web page describing equine therapy and realized that some clinicians worked as a team with an Equine Specialist. In other words, one person handled the emotional or physical issues, the other worked with the horses.

She could do that. She scanned the information, her excitement building. She’d have to take some classes and get back into riding in a serious way, but in less than a year she could get to work, if she could find the right partner.

No. Not in less than a year. She couldn’t even start to look for a business partner in the next nine months. She couldn’t sign up for classes. She needed to keep a low profile.

Ella took a deep breath. She could hone her riding skills, however. And maybe she’d be pregnant, too. Plenty of time for equine therapy later. She swallowed her disappointment. Funny how she minded the wait more than she minded leaving Hollywood behind. Shouldn’t there be soul-searching? Late nights full of anxiety? Tears?

She felt none of that. Instead, she felt peaceful. In the meantime, she would make sure Austin, his brothers and Regan inherited this ranch they loved so much. She would prepare for the rest of her life by spending as much time with the horses as possible, once they’d arrived. She could read every book on the equine therapy she could find and familiarize herself with the basics of it. That could only help, right?

She hated to think about leaving Crescent Hall and Austin, anyway. Why couldn’t she fall in love with the father of her baby, and he with her? Why couldn’t she have it all?

She looked at her phone again, eager for a distraction. As she began to scroll through her messages, she saw Marianne had left a few new ones. That didn’t surprise her. What did was the number of times Anthony had tried to get in touch with her in the last few days. What did he want? Should she find out?

After a moment’s hesitation, she clicked on the latest call from Marianne instead.

“Ella? Are you getting my messages? Did you get the one about the scripts? Call me back. Today.”

Ella rolled her eyes. Her days of rushing to return Marianne’s phone calls seemed so far away. She hadn’t felt like speaking to her friend since she found out Marianne had taken Anthony for a client. She hadn’t been able to wrap her head around that. Why would Anthony switch from a top-notch agent to an up-and-coming one? And why did Marianne think working with him was okay after what he’d done?

She thought she knew the answer to this last question. Marianne needed a high-flying client in order to secure the promotion she’d wanted for so long. Once Ella had crashed and burned, of course she’d look for someone else to fill that role. But Anthony? Curious, Ella checked the website of Barnes & Madison and discovered that indeed, Marianne was now a vice president. So if she’d gotten the promotion, and she’d gotten Anthony for a client, too, why try to bring back the one woman who could screw things up for her?

Ella considered the voicemails from Anthony and finally clicked on one. “Ella, where are you? I know you’re pissed. I know I’m a total dickhead, but that doesn’t mean you have to blow this for all of us. The script is amazing. It’s the kind of movie that defines a generation. I need this. You do, too. I promise it won’t be awkward at all. In fact, I miss you, baby.” His voice softened into the tone she thought of as his bedroom voice. It signaled that he was ready to end an argument, ready to stop being self-absorbed and arrogant.

Ready for sex.

Ella recoiled. He missed her? He had to be kidding. And what movie was he talking about? Marianne was crazy if she thought Ella would play opposite him in any film now.

She went back and listened to more messages until she thought she understood. There was a certain movie Marianne was very excited about. The same one Anthony was excited about. Every one of Marianne’s messages included a plea to tell her where she was so she could mail her a copy of the script. Finally, she’d attached an electronic version to an email.

A sneaking suspicion formed in Ella’s mind. It was no coincidence someone wanted to cast Anthony and her in the same movie. Someone wanted to capitalize on their notoriety—especially after her disastrous interview with Myra Cramer. They figured the tabloids would go crazy with speculation if she and Anthony worked together. Instant, free publicity. So did that mean…?

She worked it out in her mind.

Anthony’s deal must hinge on hers. No Ella Scales, no Anthony Black. Was that it?

For the first time in weeks, Ella searched out the tabloids on her phone and read every article she could find about herself.

Speculation over whether Anthony intended to press assault charges.

Photos of Kaylee ministering to Anthony after Ella decked him.

Ella sightings—everywhere from Bangkok to Peru. Apparently she was as elusive as Bigfoot since she ran from Myra’s show.

She was surprised to discover that one common thread ran through all of them. Nowhere except in the earliest postings was there negative commentary about her. Anthony and Kaylee had come under fire after Kaylee’s behavior at the Academy Awards, but their appearance on the Myra in the Morning show incensed the viewing public. Popular consensus called it beneath the dignity of a world-renowned actor to torment his ex-fiancée onscreen like that. Anthony was called arrogant, hot-headed, full of himself, a throwback to a worse time. Women hated him for ditching Ella just months before their wedding. They hated Kaylee even more. She was the other woman. She was the homewrecker.

Back in February, Marianne had arranged several elegant and tasteful photo shoots of Ella in her wedding dress, and carefully released them before the Academy Awards to increase publicity around her. Tabloids now paired these with pictures of Kaylee in awkward poses. Climbing out of limos after she’d had a few drinks, her barely there club clothes hiked up around the tops of her thighs; morning after shots when she’d tried to slip out of her house to a local store before dolling herself up in makeup and designer clothes; photos with her mouth open, yelling at the paparazzi.

For one moment Ella sympathized with Kaylee. It could so easily have been her on the receiving end of the press’s vicious attacks. Then she remembered what Kaylee had done, and took a small satisfaction in knowing things weren’t going as the young actress had planned.

The public identified with Ella. They wanted the dream of her Cinderella story to be real. They wanted Anthony to be a prince.

Instead, he’d shown his clay feet in all too blatant a manner. Now the women of the world were out for blood.

Anthony needed her to reclaim his tarnished image.

And she’d blown him off.

She laughed aloud at the justice of it. Here she was, perfectly content on this ranch, while he was spinning with anxiety in Los Angeles, waiting for her to save his career.

She didn’t think she had the time, energy or desire to do that. In fact, trying for a baby this past week with Austin had been truly exhausting. In the best way possible, of course. Maybe they should step up their attempts even more. Since Mason and Austin had shifted all their bedroom furniture to the bunkhouse, they had a private place to make love whenever the mood hit them.

She let the phone drop to her lap, Anthony and Kaylee’s difficulties forgotten, as she tried to imagine a way for them to come together they hadn’t already experienced. These last few days had actually been wonderful. She told herself it was because she really wanted a child and she was going to get one with no strings attached, but she was lying. Yes, it would be wonderful to be pregnant—to know that next year she’d have a family of her own. But even more wonderful at the present was the chance to be with Austin. To know he would be with her whenever—and however—she wanted him to be. He was as insatiable as she was. More, even.

She stood up, deciding it had been all too long since she’d felt him inside her. She wanted to be with Austin.

Now.

Chapter 18

‡

FIVE DAYS LATER, when the trucks delivered the horses he and Mason had hand-picked from the breeding ranches of southern Montana, Austin counted it as one of the best moments of his life. Once the horses had been introduced into various corrals and pastures, Crescent Hall would begin to look like a real ranch again. Ella’s face had been a sight to see a couple of days ago when they unloaded the John Deere tractor and a couple of utility vehicles they’d bought to use for many of the jobs around the ranch. “Did you think we did everything on horseback?” he’d asked her.

“I guess I hoped so. It’s sexier.”

“I’ll show you sexy.” He’d hustled her back to the bunkhouse and taken her on their brand-new bed. He understood how she felt about horses, though; he felt the same way—but there were many chores on a big ranch and some of them required an engine.

Once all the horses had been delivered, he and Mason stood on the railings of the closest corral to the Hall and watched a spirited bay gelding check out its new home. He could tell Mason was just about as choked up as he was to see the ranch come to life.

“Didn’t think we’d ever get this chance,” Mason said.

“Yep. It’s something.”

“I hope you bought me an English saddle,” Ella called out as she crossed the yard to join them.

Austin caught the look on his brother’s face. “She’s joking. I told her there’d be none of that nonsense here.” He wrapped an arm around Ella’s waist when she neared them. “We’ll make a western woman out of you yet.”

“I’ll have you know California is farther west than Montana.” But she leaned against him, accepting his hand on her hip.

“There’s west and then there’s western,” Mason said. “A lot of difference in those two words.”

They watched the bay prance around the ring and Austin realized how right this felt. A week ago he would have said that he and Ella were arranged like this in order to fool Mason into thinking their marriage was real. The truth was, no thought had gone into it—at least not on his part. Ella had approached, he’d held out his arm and pulled her close.

Because he wanted her close.

Struck by the thought, he missed Mason’s next words. “What’s that?”

“You better talk to Reverend Halpern and set a date for your ceremony. Heloise called earlier to ask about it.”

Ella shifted away from him and he let her go, the moment lost. “All right. When I get a minute, I’ll call the church.”

“Regan and I will help anyway we can,” Mason told him.

That was good. They would need help to pull this off.

“Let’s make sure all these critters like their new home,” Mason added. “You coming, Ella?”

“You two go on ahead. I’m going to check up on Regan and the baby chicks.” One of the ranches that had delivered a quartet of horses threw in a couple of dozen chicks when Austin mentioned they were in the market for some. Mason had set up a large cardboard box in the living room with a heat lamp until they were old enough to move out to the coop. He’d cautioned the women they wouldn’t want them inside more than a day or two because of the smell, but by then he’d have rigged up the coop to be safe for them.

Austin knew Ella thought the chicks were adorable, but given how much she loved horses, too, he suspected she wanted to give him and Mason a few minutes alone to enjoy the triumph of resurrecting their family’s ranch. He appreciated that. He appreciated a lot of things about her, including the way she filled out those jeans as she walked back to the Hall.

“Hell of a woman,” Mason said. “Don’t blow this.”

“I’m not blowing anything.”

“You sure about that?” His brother shot him a look. “Sometimes the two of you seem to get along like a house on fire, but other times… I don’t know. Something’s not quite right.”

“Quit your worrying. It’s all under control.”

But it wasn’t. Not by a long shot.

*    *    *

“THEY’RE ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE,” Regan said as she and Ella sat in the living room of the Hall, a box filled with peeping chicks between them.

“Oh, my gosh—look at this one, it’s falling asleep,” Ella said of the chick in her hand. Sure enough, its eyes blinked once, twice and then closed altogether. Its head drooped down to rest on her palm. “That’s so cute!” she whispered, unable to keep from rubbing a forefinger over its soft fluff.

“What should we name them?” Regan asked.

Ella looked over the two dozen chicks and laughed. “How will we tell them apart?”

Regan sat back on her heels. “I don’t know.”

An hour slipped by as they decided on names and then argued over which chick was which. They discussed giving the chickens different colored bands on their legs to help tell them apart, then discarded the idea as too silly. Ella enjoyed Regan’s company. She was lively and funny and adored everything about Crescent Hall. Her optimism rubbed off on Ella, making it possible for her to forget she was only pretending to be married.

“We’ll just have to do our best,” Ella said when they grew tired of playing with the chicks. “I’m sure they’ll have distinct personalities when they grow bigger.”

“Maybe.” Regan didn’t sound sure.

“The horses do.” They did, too. Ella was as amazed by their individuality as she had been as a child. Some were spirited, flying across the pastures as fast as they could go. Others were mischievous, nudging and biting the other horses. Still others were calm and well behaved. While the men had unloaded them, Ella had spotted a certain dappled mare she hoped she’d be allowed to call her own. Austin and Mason had decreed they needed to give the beasts a day or two to settle into their homes before riding them, however. Ella couldn’t wait.

“Shoot. I think I left my water bottle out in the truck.” Ever since Regan had read that pregnant women need to keep hydrated, she’d carried the bottle with her all the time.

Ella jumped up. “I’ll get it.” A moment later she was at the front door in time to see the now very familiar sight of the neighborhood boy riding past the property on his bike. Like usual, he pedaled as fast as he could up the road, but this time instead of going on past, he took a hard right into the driveway and rode full-bore straight at her.

Ella had just decided he meant to crash against the porch steps when he leaped from the bike and threw it to the ground.

“Where is he?” he demanded. “Where’s Austin Hall?”

He was tall, but thin, twelve or thirteen maybe. He wore a red t-shirt, faded jeans and scuffed up sneakers.

Surprised, Ella said, “Hold on a moment. I’ll get him. Can I tell him your name?”

“No.” The boy looked uncertain, but then he squared his shoulders. “I need to talk to Austin Hall.”

“Okay.” Ella adopted a conciliatory tone. “Just a moment. I’ll find him.”

She didn’t invite the boy inside. He was angry and she didn’t know how he might behave, and she felt protective of Regan and the chicks. She wasn’t afraid of him—not with Austin and Mason around, and besides, he was just a kid. Still, her heart was beating in her chest as she entered the house, strode through it quickly and opened the back door, waving to get the men’s attention.

They were walking toward the barn when they heard her call out. Austin turned, saw her face and crossed the back yard at a trot. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “There’s this kid outside—the one that’s always on his bike. He’s twelve or thirteen…”

Austin strode past her through the house toward the front door. She hurried after him. “I’m Austin Hall,” she heard him say as he stepped out onto the porch. “What can I do for you?”

Ella reached the door in time to see the boy straighten himself to his full height and swallow hard. “I’m Richard Ward. I’m your son.”

Chapter 19

‡

AUSTIN STARED AT the boy on his front steps. He hadn’t reached his full height, but it was plain to see that he’d be as tall as Austin someday and he had the Hall look to his eyes and jaw. Richard Ward. Which made him Heather Ward’s son.

Shock came first, followed swiftly by anger. Heather had a child and she’d never told him—let alone asked his permission? She couldn’t do that. She couldn’t go and have a child without even letting him know.

But she had.

He had a son. A son she’d kept hidden from him for more than twelve years. A son she’d denied him. Austin had made decisions with his life, put himself in harm’s way, all the while thinking there was no one who’d be affected by the outcome—no one who depended on him, anyway.

Had Heather known she was pregnant when she dumped him all those years ago? Had she decided he wasn’t worthy to be a father and taken him out of the equation? The cold-heartedness of it shook him to the core.

The boy stared back at him, a muscle in his jaw pulsing, and Austin realized how much courage it must have taken him to ride out here. Regardless of how he felt about Heather—or Richard’s existence—he had to respect that. No wonder the boy spent so much time pedaling back and forth. Like a good soldier, he’d sussed out the enemy before making his attack. The kid probably thought Austin had abandoned him and his mother. He took a shaky breath, struggling to control the emotions warring within him—fury over Heather’s deception, wonder at the strong, brave boy standing before him, fear over his rank inadequacy for the task of being a parent. All he knew was that none of this was the boy’s fault. Richard was just a kid.

So what now? What should he say? Should he welcome Richard or send him straight back to his mother? Austin knew he was far too broken to be of any use to the boy.

But as they stared at each other, something happened he didn’t expect. Richard’s chin trembled and without warning an instinct clicked within Austin that made him stride forward and pull him into a strong hug.

Richard stiffened. In a move so quick Austin didn’t have time to respond, he pulled back, yanked an arm free and punched Austin in the eye. Ella shrieked and Austin staggered back a step, more out of surprise than because he’d lost his balance. The kid had an arm, but he was no match for a grown man. Austin recovered himself and stepped forward, meeting the boy face to face.

“I’ll take that. Once,” he said to Richard in a low, firm tone. “But you have anything else to say to me, you use your words.”

“Where the fuck have you been?” Richard’s voice cracked and shot up with adolescent vigor. “Where have you been for twelve years?”

A fair question. “In Afghanistan, mostly. South America. Iraq.” He took a breath and added quietly, “I didn’t know about you. Your mother never told me.”

Richard held up his hands mutely and Austin understood what he meant to say. No excuse would be good enough. How could his father not know about him? How could his father not care?

“You have to believe me. If I’d known anything—if I’d even guessed, I’d have been here. I’d never have left.”

“So you screwed my mother and ran away?” Richard was clearly fighting back tears and furious at himself for it.

“No.” Austin leaned forward for emphasis. “I was dating your mother and my father died suddenly. My family lost the right to live on this ranch. We had to leave. It was a crazy time. Maybe your mother didn’t even know she was pregnant before we took off.”

“You didn’t call her? Or write?”

“We were young. We were kids.”

Richard shook his head, his disgust plain to see. “Well, now you know.” He stepped backward down the porch stairs. “Now you’ve seen me. And I’ve seen you.”

Austin steeled himself against the boy’s next words. Richard didn’t disappoint him. He grabbed his bicycle. Turned it around. “And you can go fuck yourself!” He climbed on awkwardly and rode off as fast as he could.

“You have to go after him. You can’t let him leave like that.” Ella stayed where she was, hovering in the doorway. Only five feet away from him but the gulf between them loomed large. He could only imagine what this scene looked like through her eyes. He’d knocked up a girl and she hadn’t even bothered to track him down to tell him about it. What kind of a man did that make him?

“He’s too upset. He’ll hate himself for crying in front of us.” Austin knew those were just excuses. “He needs to go home, get it out of his system. We’ll meet again and sort it out. After I talk to his mother.” After he figured out what the hell he was going to do. The last thing he needed right now was an extra complication.

He stopped that train of thought. Whatever Richard was, he wasn’t a complication. He was a person—a boy who obviously wanted a father, regardless of his parting words.

A father. He was a father.

A deadbeat, absentee asshole of a father.

Austin sat down heavily on the steps and braced his hands on his knees, his chest so tight it was like a vise was squeezing the air right out of him. The son he never knew he had hated him. What the hell did he do now?

Why hadn’t Heather come after him all those years ago? Did she think he wouldn’t do his duty by her? He’d loved her back then—as well as any teenage boy could love a girl—he’d have married her in a heartbeat. Hadn’t she wanted him?

What would she do now that he was back? Would she accept his presence in their son’s life? She’d have to. He balled his fists, then remembered Ella. The woman he’d married. The woman who was starting to mean so much to him. He dropped his hands and half-turned. “Ella, I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry to me,” she said in a clipped voice. “Seems like you’ve got someone else to apologize to first.” She turned on her heel and disappeared inside.

“Ella.” But he didn’t follow her into the Hall. He didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what to do in this situation.

When he’d left the Army, all he’d wanted was to be alone, but now fate seemed determined to tangle him up in relationships, first with Ella and now with Richard. Was it all a test? Was he supposed to resist them?

He wished to god he knew.

*    *    *

TEARS FILLED ELLA’S eyes as she made her way through the house to the back door, passing through the dining room and kitchen to avoid Regan in the living room. She opened it and walked blindly across the back lawn, intending to pick up the faded trail she knew would eventually bring her to Chance Creek.

“Everything all right?” Mason called out from the barn as she passed.

“I don’t know.” She kept going, picking up the pace before he could join her. She swiped at her eyes furiously as she walked, angry that she was crying. She wasn’t really married to Austin. Why should it bother her to find out he had a son? Of course a man who could put up an online ad for a fake wife wouldn’t think twice about sleeping with a woman, getting her pregnant, and leaving her without a second look. She pressed her hands to her belly and willed her baby—if there was one—to know that no matter what its father did, she would love him or her enough for two parents.

And what did it matter what Austin did, anyway? She wasn’t sticking around past next April. Austin’s ad had made it perfectly clear he wanted nothing more than an actress to fill in a part. She was the one who’d tempted him to have sex and make it all real. She was the one who’d asked him to make her pregnant. She’d done this to herself. She reached the creek, sat down on the bank and clasped her knees to her chest.

The ache in her heart nearly took her breath away. She’d fallen for him—fallen for the one man she couldn’t ever really have. Austin had never faltered in his position; he wanted a wife for a matter of months, not for a lifetime. Had she listened? Of course not. She’d fallen for Crescent Hall, too—for the wide, sweeping vistas, the mountains in the distance, the crazy old house with its circular tower, and the bunkhouse she shared with Austin.

In her fantasies, she’d begun to believe there might be a future here for her even after the year was up. She’d begun to daydream about horses and family and even children, but now the joke was on her. Just when she thought she’d walked away from acting for good, it turned out she’d have to play the role of her life—as Austin’s smiling, happy wife—while inside her heart broke all over again.

*    *    *

AUSTIN COULDN’T GO back inside the Hall and face the women. He didn’t want to face Mason either. He definitely couldn’t go find Heather—not until he’d gotten control of his anger. His head spinning with thoughts he couldn’t untangle, he found his feet leading him back to the bunkhouse. Time to tackle a job he’d dreaded; scraping the old linoleum off the kitchen floor. He grabbed a pry bar and a shovel from the toolshed and attacked the floor covering as if it was the devil himself. It felt good to hack and pry and push and peel what looked like four separate layers of linoleum up off the subfloor.

Why hadn’t Heather ever tracked him down to tell him about his son? How could she deprive him of the first twelve years of Richard’s life? How could she deprive Richard of his father? Had she married someone else?

As the questions piled up, he scraped harder at the floor. He ripped the layers off in chunks and tossed them aside. He had a son. A twelve-year-old son. And now he’d broken Ella’s heart, too.

He’d never forget the look on her face when she’d walked back into the Hall. Austin had made it so clear he didn’t want a wife, let alone a family. Did she think he was callous enough to get Heather pregnant and then leave her on purpose? That was far from the truth. He’d always been careful—even back then. There must have been some slip-up he hadn’t even realized he’d made. So why hadn’t she tracked him down?

His questions were running in circles, and pulling up the floor wouldn’t answer them. He tossed the pry bar aside, not caring when it bounced off the wall and left a mark. To hell with this. To hell with waiting until he’d calmed down. Why put off what had to be done?

Time to confront Heather. A quick phone call to Liam Turner told him where to find her—Rafters, a dive joint frequented by cowboys too old to enjoy the rowdier atmosphere at the Dancing Boot. He scowled when he heard the information, until Liam explained that she tended bar. By the time he reached the nondescript building in the middle of town, he was seething with anger all over again. His son deserved better than a barmaid for a mother and an absentee father. What the hell was Heather thinking? Inside he lingered by the door for a moment to allow his eyes to adjust to the dim light. This early in the day the customers were sparse. A couple of old men playing cards in the corner. Another man slumped over a mug of beer toward the back. Two or three younger cowboys at the bar where a pretty woman poured drinks.

Heather.

Her low cut blouse left little to the imagination. Her jeans hugged every curve. When she walked down the bar to fetch more glasses, the eyes of the cowboys followed her. Austin squashed his first thought—that Heather looked cheap—and allowed that if she depended on tips for her livelihood, she might as well make use of the assets God gave her. By his calculation, Heather had been barely eighteen when she had Richard. No wonder she had to take this kind of job to get by. He didn’t see a ring on her finger. Had she stayed single all this time?

His anger mounting again, he approached the bar. When Heather saw him, she hesitated, scowled, then kept moving swiftly as she refocused on her tasks. He took a seat at the end of the bar, leaving several empty stools between him and the cowboys. They turned to give the newcomer a thorough once over.

Austin nodded to them, but kept his attention on Heather, who after several moments made her way over, her lips pressed together in a thin line.

“So you’re back. What do you want?”

“To talk.”

“If you want to sit at my bar, you’d better drink.” Heather folded her arms over her chest.

“Fine. Whatever’s on tap.” He handed Heather a ten dollar bill. She took it ungraciously, rang him up and brought him a glass of beer and his change. Austin left several dollars on the bar. “I want to know what happened when I left.”

“That’s ancient history.”

“Not when our son turns up on my doorstep.”

Heather stilled.

“You didn’t know.” Austin watched her. “Richard didn’t tell you when he got home? That he came to find his father?”

“His father?”

“Yes. His father.”

She looked down. Shook her head slowly. “I’m working. I haven’t seen him this afternoon.” When Austin didn’t answer, she blazed, “He’s twelve. Plenty old enough to spend a few hours by himself.”

Austin tamped down his anger. “He came to find me. Nearly decked me. Can’t say I blame him for wanting to do that; he thinks I abandoned you. But you know that isn’t true.” He leaned over the bar. “And you have about thirty seconds to explain why you never told me.”

Heather’s face was tight with anger. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to interfere.”

Fury swelled within him. “Don’t you think the father of your son has a right to know about him?”

“You don’t understand anything,” Heather hissed at him. “I know exactly what you would have done if I’d told you.”

“What?”

“Tried to marry me! That’s the last thing I wanted. You’ve got a new woman now. Go make her miserable.”

She spun around, but Austin caught her arm and held it. They faced each other over the bar. “Are you saying I made you miserable? Because that’s not how I remember it.”

After a long moment her face softened. “Maybe not at the start, but later… I realized my mistake.”

“So you denied me my child because you didn’t love me anymore.” He let her go.

“No.” She shook her head. “I denied you because I loved someone else.”

Chapter 20

‡

ELLA THOUGHT SHE’D prepared herself for Austin’s return, but she was wrong. She’d expected to assure an angry man that she’d go through with her commitment despite this new wrinkle; that she realized he wouldn’t want to help her have a child anymore; that she would fulfill her side of the bargain cheerfully, and then go on her way. But it hurt to think of a life without him, and it hurt worse to know that another woman had his child already.

Still, when Austin pulled up the side driveway to the bunkhouse in his truck late that afternoon, his expression was so bleak her heart contracted as she hurried to meet him. He sat in the driver’s seat for a long moment after he turned off the engine. When he finally climbed out, his face was set in deep grooves of pain.

“She didn’t love me,” he said finally. Ella’s stomach sank. If Heather could hurt his feelings so deeply, he must still have feelings for her to hurt. Was that why Austin was so against marriage? Had he secretly held a torch for this other woman all this time?

“She told you that?”

He nodded. “She kept Richard a secret because she loved someone else. She didn’t want me to get in her way.”

“Did she marry him?”

Austin shrugged. “She didn’t marry anyone. I guess it didn’t matter whether I was around or not. The guy didn’t love her. No one got what they wanted.”

His words hit her like a blow. No one got what they wanted. In other words, Austin had wanted Heather, and he’d been disappointed.

Now he had settled for a fake marriage to her.

*    *    *

AUSTIN’S HANDS STILL shook with anger and pain. He could barely focus on Ella, let alone walk the thirty steps past her to the front door. Heather had deliberately kept him ignorant of their son’s existence, all because she’d cared for someone else. How could she be so incredibly selfish? Why would she do that to Richard—or to him? He’d loved her back then and she’d thrown that away. For what? A chance at being with a man who obviously couldn’t care less?

“Was it worth it?” he’d asked her.

“I’d do the same thing again.” She hadn’t even had the grace to be embarrassed. She’d met his gaze. Refused to look away first.

And he’d left the bar feeling somehow he was the one who should be ashamed.

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to.” Ella still watched him.

Austin tried to force his thoughts to the present. “I’ll call a lawyer. Figure out custody. I had no idea this was going to happen. I would never have gotten you to come here if I’d known.”

Ella closed her eyes and stood very still for a moment. Austin’s awareness shifted. Focused on her as he realized what he’d just said. Realized how she must have taken it.

“I’ll pack my things and be out of here in an hour.” She turned toward the steps.

Austin beat her there.

“Why would you do that?” He knew he gripped her arms too hard. Knew his voice sounded too harsh, but he couldn’t take this. Not on top of everything else. Ella was the one thing that felt right these days.

“Because you still love her.”

Austin laughed, a harsh sound. Ella tried to pull away from him, but he didn’t let her go. “Love her? I haven’t given her a second thought in twelve years. I don’t love her. But I do have a son with her and I can’t turn my back on him.”

“Of course not. That’s why I should go—to give you time to be with him and sort this out. To give you time with Heather to find out if the two of you have a future together.”

Austin knew he was going to lose Ella if he didn’t get his act together, and he couldn’t lose her—not now. He straightened. Pulled her into his arms. “I don’t have a future with Heather. And if you leave, I won’t have a future on this ranch, either. Please, Ella—I need you to stay. I need you to be my wife.”

“So you can keep the ranch,” she said, daring him to admit there was more to it than that.

Even if there was—and he wouldn’t admit that, not even to himself—now wasn’t the time to talk about it. “So I can keep the ranch,” he confirmed.

Ella sighed. “Fine. I made a promise. I’ll keep it.” She disentangled herself from his arms and went back into the bunkhouse.

Austin wanted to follow her inside, take her in his arms and make love to her until she lost that hurt and bewildered expression. But he couldn’t. Not now. Instead he headed up to the Hall to find Mason and break the news. He found his brother and Regan in the living room.

“You have a son?” Mason stared at him when he told him. “A twelve-year-old son?”

“That’s right.”

“And Heather never said a word?”

“Not a one.”

Mason rubbed a hand over his face. Regan watched them both from where she sat next to the box of baby chicks.

“How’s Ella?”

“Holding up. She wanted to leave at first,” he confessed.

“Well, this changes things,” Mason said.

“How’s that?”

“Richard’s the heir, for one thing. First born son and all that? Heloise will be pleased.”

“Will she? I don’t know, since I’m not married to Heather.” Austin didn’t care what Heloise thought anyway. He was too worried about Ella—and Richard.

“You won’t need a back-up baby,” Regan said. “I guess ours is the back-up baby.”

Austin hadn’t thought of that.

“How are you going to handle this?” Mason asked.

“I’ll see if I can sort out a custody arrangement with Heather. Ella and I will continue as we’ve been doing.” He shrugged. “So nothing will change with regards to Heloise.”

Regan narrowed her eyes. “Wait a minute. You and Ella will continue as you’ve been doing? What does that mean?”

Shit. For a moment he’d forgotten Regan and Mason weren’t in on the trick. “I mean our marriage is strong. Richard’s presence won’t affect it.”

Regan didn’t look satisfied. “And you’ll get the ball rolling with your vow renewal, right? Heloise was adamant about that.”

“That’s right. The vow renewal.”

“Good,” Mason said. He pulled out his phone and handed it to Austin. “I’ve got Reverend Halpern on speed-dial. Make an appointment to see him—soon.”

Chapter 21

‡

WHEN REGAN LET herself into the bunkhouse, Ella was sitting in the middle of the main room, lost in thought. The sofa and easy chair she’d ordered hadn’t been delivered yet, so she sat on the floor.

“I heard the news,” Regan said, joining her.

“Some surprise, huh?”

“You doing okay?”

Ella hesitated. “No.” A tear streaked down her cheek and she scrubbed it away. “I’m trying to be, but… no, not really.”

“Don’t be hard on yourself. Anyone would be upset.”

“Would they?” Ella leaned back. “I feel like someone more gracious would open her arms to her husband’s child.”

Regan blinked. “A couple of hours after he just appeared in your life? Come on; you’re not Mother Theresa.”

“I guess not. The truth is I don’t know what to think. I liked the idea of having a baby.” Another tear slipped down her face.

Regan’s eye’s widened. “Do you think Austin will change his mind about that? I don’t see why.”

“You don’t? He already has a son. What does he need another one for?”

Regan stared at her, and Ella bit her lip, realizing what she’d said. “I mean—Austin wasn’t sure he was ready for kids anyway. I pushed him.”

Regan shook her head. “That’s not what you meant at all. What’s really going on, Ella? Austin said something similar up at the Hall. It’s like—it’s like the two of you aren’t really married.”

“We’re married,” Ella said, cursing herself for her slipup. This was the last thing they needed—Regan doubting the truth of their relationship.

“But do you plan to stay married after Heloise hands over the deed to the ranch?” Regan scrambled to her knees. “That’s it, isn’t it? You two are faking! I knew there was something wrong—but…” she trailed off. “But the spark between you. How can you fake that? I’d have sworn you were screwing each other silly all week!”

Ella’s cheeks flamed, both from the knowledge she’d blown it and because she and Austin hadn’t faked the sex part. Regan was right—they had screwed each other silly all week and the truth was she couldn’t wait to be with him again, despite everything.

Except when they were together it didn’t feel like being screwed. It felt like making love, which was the biggest joke of all, wasn’t it? Austin didn’t love her. That was the whole problem.

Because she loved him—with all her heart.

Her face must have betrayed her pain, because Regan backpedalled. “I’m sorry. What an awful thing for me to say. Of course you aren’t faking it.”

“We are,” Ella’s tears spilled over. “We are faking the marriage. It’s just… I want it to be real.”

For the first time since she left Hollywood behind, Ella gave up trying to keep her sorrow inside. She let her tears flow, let all her grief and fear and loneliness out until she’d cried so hard she had nothing left. Regan sat with her, a silent witness. When Ella’s sobs had slowed, Regan grabbed the roll of toilet paper from the bathroom and handed it to her. Ella blew her nose. The pity on Regan’s face nearly set her off again.

“Are you sure Austin doesn’t love you?” she asked softly.

“That’s the one thing I am sure of,” Ella said. “He doesn’t want a long-term relationship. He doesn’t want to be married. He definitely doesn’t want a child. I was helping him get the ranch and he was helping me hide and have the baby I want.”

Regan pulled back. “So you were trying to get pregnant?”

Ella nodded. “At least that way, when I leave the ranch, I won’t be alone.”

*    *    *

AUSTIN RODE FOR hours, hoping the cadence of the horse beneath him would help him sort his thoughts, but by the time he returned to the stables and rubbed down his mount, he was no closer to making sense of any of it. Heather’s attitude still burned him—not because he had feelings for her, but because he had cared deeply for her back when he was a teenager. He didn’t think the earnest young man he’d been then deserved that kind of treatment, and he was positive Richard didn’t deserve to be isolated from a father who would have loved him.

He definitely hadn’t handled things with Ella very well. First he’d hurt her feelings and then he’d forced her to restate her intention to help him keep his ranch. Now he needed to figure out how to move forward without hurting Ella or Richard. How could he do that while maintaining an emotional distance from them? Or was it too late for that?

“So you’re finally back.”

Austin turned on his heel to find Regan behind him, her hands on her hips.

“Don’t even try to explain yourself. I know everything. I know you’re a fake, Austin Hall, and I know you’re going to tear the heart out of that beautiful, wonderful woman back there.” She waved in the general direction of the bunkhouse.

“I don’t follow you.” But he did, and he hated himself for it.

“Ella loves you. You know that, don’t you? Or are you too big of an ass to even understand that?”

Austin opened his mouth. Closed it again.

“Spare me the stupidity of men!” Regan glared at him. “You honestly thought you could bring a woman to your home, marry her, make love to her on a daily basis and get her pregnant—and she wouldn’t fall in love? Are you a complete idiot?”

Maybe he was, because that’s exactly what he’d thought. “She… told you that?”

“Told me she loves you? Yes. That’s exactly what she did. And now I’ve betrayed her confidence—I’ve betrayed her every bit as badly as you have, which makes me an ass, too.”

He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a woman so furious before, but he was too busy analyzing her words to care. “Ella told you that she loves me.”

Regan rolled her eyes. “Would you like me to use smaller words?”

Ella loved him. She loved him. It shouldn’t make any difference—it didn’t change what he’d done, or what Heather had done to him, or what he owed to Donovan’s memory—but she loved him. That… meant something.

Regan peered at him uncertainly. “Austin? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?”

He was feeling a little off-kilter. The ground came up to meet him fast as he folded his legs.

“I meant on a hay bale or something.”

He didn’t care that he was sitting on the wide-planked, hay-strewn wooden floor of the stables, or that the horses were watching him with interest over the half-doors of their stalls.

“Austin?” Regan knelt down beside him. “Do you love her back? Because if you do, everything will be okay.”

Did he love Ella?

Yes. He did.

But everything was definitely not going to be okay.

Reality crashed back over him and he realized he’d made a bigger mess than ever before. He’d snared so many people in an emotional web that when he failed them—and he would fail them—he’d take down an entire family. Ella, Richard, Mason, Regan, Zane and Colt.

“No one can know what we’ve done,” he said to Regan. “Not even Mason. We have to keep pretending until next April—until Heloise hands us that deed.”

Regan pulled back, incredulous. “You don’t love her.” She stood up. “You’ve done all this and you don’t even love her. God, you are such a…” She shook her head. “I don’t even know what you are.”

Austin stood up too, determined to keep to the course he’d just set, no matter what Regan thought of him. “I’m a man who’s going to save his family’s ranch. I’m a man who’s going to make sure that baby of yours has a place to grow up.”

“Don’t put me in the middle of this,” Regan blazed at him. “I don’t want it if it means Ella gets hurt!”

Austin leaned over her. “You let me handle Ella. You let me handle Heloise, too. Don’t breathe a word to Mason.”

“You want me to lie to my husband for nine more months?” Her voice rose. “That’s not how a marriage works.” She turned and headed for the door. “But I guess you’d have no idea about that.”

Chapter 22

‡

“GIVE HIM TIME.”

Mason’s sudden appearance at her side some hours later made Ella jump. She sat on the Hall’s back porch, wanting to be close to people but not wanting to talk to them. Regan was cleaning up from dinner, and the rattle and clank of the pots and pans comforted her somewhat. “I’m staying out of his way.”

“I know. I don’t want you to get discouraged by his attitude, though. It’s hard—coming back from a war.” Mason sat down in the wicker chair beside hers. “None of this seems real for a while. It’s too… calm. Too safe. The things that normally mean a lot in everyday life don’t seem to matter anymore. I think it’s a matter of over-stimulus. When you live with danger twenty-four seven, with adrenaline firing all the time, your brain gets used to it. Cut that off, and it starts looking for its next fix. Starting a fight can be a good substitute, even when it’s with someone you love. Austin never knew he had a son—you can see why he’d be messed up right now.”

“Of course. I expect him to be messed up. I just wish he’d talk to me about it.”

“He will when he’s ready.”

“I wish I believed that.” Ella shifted in her chair. “Regan’s lucky. You seem to have adjusted just fine.”

“I’ve had my moments,” Mason said ruefully. “Regan helped a lot. She helped me see what mattered. Plus there’s been so much for me to do. Keeping busy helps. A bit.”

“Do you know what happened to Austin back in Afghanistan?”

“A little. I can piece most of it together from the news I heard at the time. I don’t know all the details, though, and it’s the details that haunt a man.”

“Can you tell me? It would help, wouldn’t it? If I knew?”

“Maybe. Maybe not, too. Men like to think that they’re fighting for something—and that something is to keep women like you out of the muck a war is made of. We want you clean. Untouched by it. Does that make sense?”

“There are women fighting, too, aren’t there?”

“Yep. I don’t know how they see it. Do they come home and tell their husbands all about it? Maybe.” He thought about that. “I think if I was one of those husbands, I’d go crazy.”

She tapped her finger on the cover of her book. “I can understand why Austin wouldn’t want to tell me about it. He probably doesn’t want to relive the experience.”

“But he’s reliving it all the time. That’s what you have to understand. He might not say anything. He might not do anything. But it’s there, in his mind.”

“So what do I do? How do I help him sort everything out?” She was ashamed of the note of desperation in her voice.

“Just be here. Be close. Be available. Try not to get angry. Or do get angry and have a big fight—sometimes that helps, too.” He patted her hand. “It’ll work out. You’ll see.”

*    *    *

“ARE WE EVER going to talk about it?” Ella asked late that night.

Austin’s shoulders slumped. He’d hoped to creep into bed long after she’d fallen asleep, but obviously that wasn’t meant to be. The light from the living room streamed into the dark bedroom and gleamed in her open eyes. His long ride hadn’t straightened out his thoughts any, and his fight with Regan had made things worse. He’d worked in the stables long after she left, skipping supper and trying to figure out what to do next. He still didn’t have a plan. “We can talk. If we have to.”

“We have to talk about Richard. Don’t you think?” Ella sat up in bed and wrapped the light comforter around her body. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath it—she’d long since abandoned wearing anything to bed—and despite his tiredness and confusion his body reacted in its normal fashion. Ella attracted him like no other woman ever had. When he didn’t answer, she sighed. “If there are too many problems to deal with all at once, how about we start with just one? What’s bothering you the most?”

“All the lies.”

She cocked her head. “The lies about Richard or the lies about us?”

“The ones about me.” He shucked off his clothing and joined her under the covers. Both of them sat with their backs against the headboard. It helped not to have to look her in the eye. “People think I’m a hero. I’m not.”

She digested this a moment. Obviously it wasn’t what she expected him to say. “They’re proud of you for serving your country.” Her voice was soft. “That is something to be proud of.”

He snorted. “You’re just like all the rest of them—spouting feel-good sentences that mean nothing. None of you take the time to listen to how it really was.”

“I’ve tried to listen. I’m trying now. Besides, I’m not stupid—I can guess what it’s like.”

Anger bubbled up within him. Everyone said that and it wasn’t true. “No, you can’t. You don’t have a goddamn clue what it’s like over there. You don’t know what we’re up against. The conditions, the sand, the heat.”

He didn’t mean to raise his voice to her. Knew she didn’t deserve it. Somehow he couldn’t stop. “Do you have any idea what I’ve seen? Do you have any idea how many dead bodies I’ve gotten up close and personal with? It’s not the same as seeing them on TV. They stink, Ella. They stink like you wouldn’t believe. They’re never whole, either. Not in this goddamn war. You find an arm. Or a foot. Or worse.”

Ella pressed back against the headboard, her eyes wide and shining with tears. Austin hated himself for telling her this.

“It’s bad enough when it’s an enemy. It’s worse when it’s a friend.” His voice cracked and Ella’s eyes flared wider.

“Is that it? Did you lose a friend? Someone you cared about?”

Austin laughed—a grim, grating sound. “Of course I did.”

Ella nodded. “Mason told me.”

Anger swelled again. Mason had no right—no matter what he thought he knew. “What did he tell you?”

“That you lost someone special. I don’t know who.”

“Did he tell you how I lost him? Did he tell you how I let him die? Did he tell you that’s why I’m not fit to be a husband—or a father to that boy who came by today? To that baby you want so bad?”

For a long moment Ella stared back at him. Then a tear broke over her eyelids and slid down her cheek.

Austin reared back. “That’s right. Cry. Now you know what I am. What I’ve done. I’m no hero, Ella. You’ve been with a monster. You’ve fucked a monster.”

Silent tears slid down her face, but she didn’t move. Austin couldn’t stand it anymore. He’d shown her his heart. She knew all his secrets now. Hated him for them, too, most likely.

He lurched to his feet, rolling off the bed in an ungainly motion. Ella’s voice stopped him halfway across the room.

“I’m not crying for myself. And you’re not a monster.”

“How the hell can you say that?”

“Because it’s true. I know you.” Her voice strengthened. “You must have done everything you could.”

“I made the wrong choice.”

“When—at a picnic? Or a country dance?” Ella sat up. “You were in a goddamn war. If someone died that means someone else was shooting, right? Is that when you made a mistake? In the middle of a battle?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does!”

“He died! End of story.” He was shouting again.

“Who did?”

“Donovan. Ben Donovan.” The words were pulled from him unwillingly.

“But you tried to save him?”

“Of course. After I saved—” He broke off.

“After you saved someone else? For fuck’s sake, Austin—what are you blaming yourself for?” she was kneeling now, her hair swirling around her shoulders.

“I did it wrong.” He saw the scene clearly in his mind. “I grabbed Edgars first. I got him out of there. Brought him to the others—he was covered with blood, going into shock. I went back for Donovan, but I was too late. If I’d grabbed him first—”

“If you grabbed him first, Edgars would be dead. Austin, you are not God. You couldn’t save them both!”

His vision blurred and for one second he thought he might lose his iron grip on his emotions. Then he brought himself under control again. “Yes, I could. Edgars would have made it. His wounds weren’t as bad. I should have taken Donovan first—I should have taken them both!”

“You should have carried two grown men through a firefight to get help?”

If she got any louder they’d hear her up at the Hall, but Austin knew she was right. He couldn’t have done it. Still, he should have tried. “You don’t understand.”

“You’re right. I can try to imagine it, but I can’t understand. I’ve never lost anyone I love like that, and it is okay for you to mourn your friend. It’s okay for you to feel awful over what happened. It’s not okay to turn from life because of it.”

“What else can I do?” Talking about it was worse than he’d imagined. Like stripping off his skin. Raw. Painful.

“You can be a different kind of hero.” Ella climbed off of the bed and approached him. “The kind of hero who goes on even when he loses what he loves. The kind of hero who comes home and rebuilds a life for himself and his family. The kind of hero who honors the dead by staying alive.”

Austin shook his head. He couldn’t even be that kind of hero. He hadn’t even fulfilled the promise he made to Donovan—he still hadn’t gone to see his parents to relay the message his friend had entrusted to him. If he couldn’t do that, what good was he for anything? “I can’t.”

“You can’t what?” She was as angry as he was. More, maybe. And oh, so beautiful. Too beautiful to easily walk away from, but he had to walk away before anyone else got hurt.

“I can’t make this real. What we have together. I can’t have another child and abandon him, too. I can’t let another boy grow up wondering where his father is. What we’ve done—it ends tonight.”

Chapter 23

‡

THE LAST TWELVE hours had been the worst of her life, so when Ella entered the Hall’s kitchen the next morning and found Camila, Maya and Stella seated at the table with Regan, she nearly turned around and walked right back out the door. Unfortunately, Milo raced ahead of her into the room and announced her presence before she could get away. She’d spent the morning painting yellow accents on the chicken house, but their bright tones had done nothing to cheer her up after last night’s bitter argument with Austin. She’d known she was falling in love with the man, but she didn’t know how hard she’d fallen until he yanked the rug out from underneath her and told her in no uncertain terms they had no future together. Austin’s final words had replayed in her mind all night. Her throat ached from holding back her tears and she’d had to admit to herself that despite her best efforts, she’d hoped Austin would come to love her.

Ella knew the women would want to talk about her upcoming wedding vow renewal, and she didn’t think she could bluff her way through it, but Camila said, “There you are! Come here—we pitched in and bought you a present.”

“Open it!” Maya said and pushed the large package into Ella’s arms.

“What is it?” She did her best to shake off the sorrow, but it was hard to maintain a façade of happiness when her whole heart was breaking. Regan smiled sympathetically and Ella looked away. She couldn’t take sympathy right now.

“Open it and see.” Stella smiled. “That’s the whole idea with presents.”

Ella set the package on the kitchen table and made short work of opening it. When she lifted the lid off the square box inside, she sucked in a breath. A pair of tooled leather cowboy boots lay nestled in tissue paper.

“They’re beautiful.”

“Try them on,” Maya urged.

She did so, doing her best to admire them. It wasn’t as hard as she might have thought. The boots were beautiful, so she could exclaim over them honestly. They weren’t flashy, but they were very well made, and they made her feel like she belonged here on the ranch. Too bad Austin had made it so clear last night that she didn’t.

At least they fit. She decided the boots were a sign—a message from the universe that she shouldn’t concede defeat yet. For the first time today, her spirits lifted a little. “Thank you so much! You shouldn’t have.”

“Of course we should have. No way a Californian could pick out proper boots,” Stella said loftily. “Let’s go for a ride. Mason told Noah you have plenty of horses and saddles now, and we brought a picnic.”

“That sounds like a great idea.” It would distract her from mulling over Austin’s dismissal, at least. “Regan? Are you coming too?”

“I wish. I don’t want to take a chance riding while I’m pregnant.”

The other women exchanged a look. “That’s okay,” Maya said quickly. “We’ll walk down to the creek instead of riding. That’s perfectly safe, right?”

“Of course. Thank you—I don’t want to spoil things for everyone else.”

They assured her she wasn’t spoiling anything, and a half-hour later they had reached the banks of Chance Creek at a place Regan called the local swimming hole. Milo seemed to think the expedition was a marvelous idea and kept busy crossing back and forth across the trail and sniffing all the interesting scents.

“Have you swum in the creek?” Ella asked Regan, glad for the distraction from her unhappy thoughts.

“Not yet. It was too cold earlier in the spring, and then we got too busy. We can wade after lunch if you like.”

“I guess we should have brought swimsuits.”

“Who needs swimsuits?” Camila said. The other women all laughed, but Ella noticed no one made a move to strip off and dive in.

Of course, there was a delicious lunch to eat first. Camila had outdone herself bringing food from her restaurant. She said she didn’t take much time off, so this was a real treat.

“It’s nice to ditch the menfolk sometimes.” Stella helped spread out a blanket and opened the picnic basket.

“I kind of like the menfolk.” Regan smiled dreamily as she sat down on the blanket and opened a bottle of juice.

“Not everyone has a husband as hot as Mason,” Camila said. “Or Austin,” she added with a glance toward Ella. Regan smiled at this compliment, and Ella tried to as well, but she knew she’d failed from the looks on the other women’s faces.

“Are you stressed out from planning your celebration?” Stella asked.

Ella nodded gratefully. “There are a lot of details.” The truth was, Regan was handling most of them. If the vow renewal was real, Ella would happily throw herself into planning every detail, but as it stood she could hardly stand to think of it. If only she could confide in her new friends—in anyone. But just like back in Hollywood, there was no one she could talk to. “It’s so peaceful here,” she said to change the subject.

“Enjoy it while it lasts. Pretty soon you’ll get your cattle and the work will never stop then. You’ll see.” Maya made a face.

“I guess so.” She wasn’t sure how much the arrival of the cattle would affect her. Now that she’d made it her business to handle the horses, she had a feeling the men would bear the brunt of the cattle operation.

Which was good, since she didn’t know the first thing about it. And wouldn’t be staying, anyhow.

“You two are so lucky,” Camila burst out.

If only she knew, Ella thought, but kept that sentiment to herself.

Regan smiled. “Are you looking for a husband?”

Camila shrugged expressively. “If the right man came along, I wouldn’t say no.”

The other women fell to speculating over which cowboy in town they could match Camila with. Ella kept quiet. She was sure the right cowboy had come along for her.

If only he felt the same way.

*    *    *

WITH ELLA SAFELY away from the bunkhouse, Austin grabbed a cup of coffee and went outside to clear his head. He was surprised to see Richard pedaling up the Hall’s driveway, then around the side of the Hall and across the yard toward him. Austin braced himself for another tongue-lashing, but all Richard said when he threw down his bike was, “Are you sure you didn’t know about me?”

“I had no idea.” He waited a beat. “Had any breakfast?”

“Some.” Richard picked at a mosquito bite on his leg.

“Come on in then. I’ll make you some more.”

At first he wasn’t sure Richard would follow him, but when he opened the door, the boy trailed inside. When they reached the kitchen, Richard stopped short.

“What happened?”

Austin glanced at the ruined floor. “The place needs some work.”

Richard nudged the ragged edge of the linoleum where Austin had left off the day before. “What’ll you put in its place?”

“I don’t know. What do you suggest?” Austin figured Richard would be gun-shy of a new authority figure in his life, as much as he might secretly want one. Here was an opportunity to show him he didn’t intend to simply boss him around.

“I like tile better than linoleum.”

Austin’s eyebrows shot up. “You know much about flooring?”

“I ought to. I work at Renfree’s Home Décor with Mom. Sometimes.” He looked down again.

“I thought your mom worked at Rafter’s.”

“That’s one of her jobs.”

Austin wondered how many Heather had.

“I’m not on the payroll at Renfree’s or anything. I just do labor when Mr. Renfree needs extra help.”

“That’s impressive.” Austin decided to let the subject of Heather’s employment drop and surveyed the room. “Twelve-by-twelve granite tile would look nice in here. Might be expensive, though.”

“I could get you a quote.” Richard seemed to remember he was still mad at Austin. “I mean, when I get around to it.”

“Sure, I’d appreciate that. You know anything about horses and cattle?”

Richard’s sullen expression disappeared. “I know how to ride, but I don’t know how to herd cattle. When are you going to get some? I saw the horses come.”

Austin smiled at Richard’s admission he’d been watching the place. “Pretty soon now that my brother Mason is home from his honeymoon.”

“You have three brothers, don’t you?” Richard looked envious. “I wish I had a brother.”

“Does it get lonely at home?”

Richard just nodded. Then an impish look crossed his face. “But now you’re back, you and Mom could have some more kids.”

Austin’s stomach tightened. He knew that how he handled this next bit would set the tone for the rest of their relationship. “I wish it could be like that between your mom and me, but it can’t. I think you know that.”

Richard looked crestfallen, but after a moment he rallied. “Yeah, that’s what she said, too. I don’t get it.”

“Haven’t you ever liked a girl?”

Richard shrugged. “Yeah,” he mumbled.

“Always the same one?”

“No,” Richard said slowly. “I used to like—” He cut off. “I changed my mind.”

“That’s kind of what happened to us.” Austin chose his words carefully. “If I’d known about you all those years ago, I would have stayed and tried to make it work. Your mom had already decided that it wouldn’t, though. It’s no one’s fault.”

“It’s Mom’s fault you didn’t know about me. I heard her say that on the phone.”

“Is that how you knew about me in the first place? Listening in on conversations you weren’t meant to hear?”

Richard eyed him suspiciously and Austin knew he couldn’t play the heavy with his son—not yet. In the end Richard shrugged. “Yeah. She told her friend you Halls were back in town and that meant she couldn’t keep me from my dad anymore. She has lots of photos of you in her old album from high school. I know where she hides it.”

“So you put two and two together.”

“That’s right.”

“Well, she didn’t tell me about you and I wish to God she had, but we could both get mad at your mom and it wouldn’t change anything, would it? How about we show her that she’s got nothing to lose from us knowing each other?”

“You think she was afraid she’d lose me? That’s why she didn’t tell?”

“I think that’s exactly what she was afraid of. It’s not true, though. You don’t have to choose between us. There’s no reason we can’t all get along, don’t you think?” It killed Austin to say it, but it was the adult thing to do.

After a pause, Richard nodded. “Yeah. Okay. What else are you going to do to the house?”

Austin accepted the change of conversation and served Richard toast and eggs. Richard turned out to be an upbeat, matter-of-fact kind of boy, who had no problem speaking his mind when he wanted something, but handled rejection well, too. Austin took him to see the horses and introduced him to Mason, whom they met in the yard. Mason managed to keep his surprise to himself and exchanged some friendly banter with the boy. When Richard glanced at his watch an hour later and said he had to ride home, Austin was surprised how fast the time had gone.

Ella kept her distance from him for the rest of the day, holing up with Regan and her friends at the Hall to plan the vow renewal celebration. Austin was grateful for the time alone. His thoughts were a tangle of contradictions. He still didn’t know how to move forward with his life. On the other hand, standing still wasn’t practical. Richard was his son no matter what, and he needed a father. Ella deserved to be loved—she deserved the family she wanted—and he had married her. As he moved through the chores he set for himself, he couldn’t find a way through the problem.

“Didn’t you make an appointment to see Reverend Halpern today?” Mason said when he found Austin in the barn an hour later.

“I told him I’d come by sometime.”

“This afternoon?”

“Yes.”

“Getting pretty late.”

“I’ll get to it.” Austin didn’t put away the saw blade he was sharpening, however. He dreaded the meeting with the Reverend.

“Are you ever going to talk about it?”

“About what?” Austin ran the blade over the whetstone again.

“About whatever happened over there in Afghanistan that’s got you tied up in knots.”

“Nothing to talk about.”

“Bullshit.”

Austin dropped the blade and faced him. “It’s none of your business. Can I make that more clear?”

“Probably not. It’s someone’s business, though. You don’t want to talk to me, then talk to Halpern.”

Austin snorted. “Halpern doesn’t know shit about it. He’s never been in the service.”

“Maybe not, but he knows human nature. And he keeps his mouth shut. You can trust him to give you good advice. You’re heading over there right now, anyway.” Mason made a show of looking at his watch. “Talk to the man.”

“Fine.” Austin put away his tools, thought about washing up and changing his clothes, then discarded the notion. Halpern had been preaching to country folks his whole career. He wouldn’t mind a little stink.

He found the reverend in the church a half-hour later, and Halpern was obviously pleased when Austin asked him to officiate at the vowel renewal ceremony.

“That’s a great idea. A couple as suited for each other as you two deserves a real family wedding. Let me look at my schedule. Come on back.” He led the way to his small office just behind the sanctuary and stopped by a calendar that hung on the wall. He pointed to a Saturday early in August. “Does that work?”

“Sounds good.” Austin tried to muster the proper enthusiasm.

Failed.

“Something on your mind, son?” Halpern said, waving him into a seat on the other side of the desk. He took his own.

Austin took his seat slowly. Maybe Mason was right; maybe it was time to talk, but how could he talk about death and his own mistakes in this clean, safe room? They were so far removed from Afghanistan that his experiences there didn’t even seem real.

When Austin didn’t answer, Halpern sat back. “Your dad was a good friend of mine, you know. He’d be so proud of you.”

His words opened the floodgates, but in all the wrong ways. Shame washed over Austin. His father wouldn’t be proud of him, and that was the worst of it. Aaron Hall had been a hell of a man. A man who took care of his wife and children, protected them, shielded him from harm.

Austin had failed to protect anyone—not his friend. Not even his own son. He’d lied to everyone—Halpern, Mason, Heloise. And now he was here to set up a new wedding when he hadn’t had the right to say those vows in the first place.

“This is a mistake.” He stood up, scraping the chair back.

“Austin—”

“No. Forget the ceremony. Just… forget it.”

He burst from the vestry and strode through the church, Reverend Halpern’s words echoed after him.

“I’ll keep the date open, in case you change your mind. I’m here any time—”

Austin nearly dashed from the church, climbed in his truck and roared out of the parking lot. Instead of turning for home, he turned the opposite way. To the west.

He didn’t stop driving for a long, long time.

*    *    *

ELLA DIDN’T KNOW whether to laugh or cry when the living room furniture for the bunkhouse was delivered late that afternoon. Here she was creating a home when her reasons for being here were fading fast. She pulled herself together with an effort and directed the delivery men on where to put the different furnishings, but she found no joy in removing their plastic coverings and maneuvering them into place.

The kitchen was still a mess from Austin’s attack on the linoleum, but the living room looked bright and cheerful with the comfortable sofa and easy chair taking up most of the space. She’d gotten a coffee table and end tables to round out the room and a colorful rug for the floor, too. Austin and Mason had painted most of the walls and trim, but hadn’t made the built-in shelves she’d specified yet. She wondered if they ever would.

Regan stopped by to see if she and Austin wanted to eat dinner up at the Hall, but Ella told her they’d fend for themselves tonight. She’d had enough company today, and she had a feeling Austin wouldn’t be in a much better mood when he came home. “I think we’d better talk things through tonight.”

Regan sighed. “I hope I didn’t make things worse when I gave Austin a piece of my mind. I couldn’t help myself. He’s made such a mess of everything.”

“We made the mess together,” Ella said. “I helped, believe me.”

“Still, I can’t believe he can’t see how right the two of you are together.”

“Let’s just hope he does.”

Chapter 24

‡

THEY’D HAVE TO buy another bed.

When night fell, Austin gathered up an extra blanket and his pillow and retreated to the new sofa Ella had picked out for their living room. It was modestly sized, which meant he had to bend his knees to fit on the thing and still his head was propped at an uncomfortable angle against one arm. It would have to do. He’d made it clear to Ella he wouldn’t sleep with her again, and he planned to stick to his guns. He’d come home from the church in a foul mood, then driven straight back out for takeout when he learned they weren’t eating with Mason and Regan at the Hall. After two or three attempts at small talk over the meal he brought back, Ella gave up trying to engage him, which he appreciated. He was in no mood to sort anything out and even less in a mood for idle chitchat. Something had to give in this situation. He just didn’t know what.

Ella walked out of the bathroom where she’d been preparing for bed and stood watching him, her pretty blue silk robe accentuating her every curve.

“Is this necessary?” she asked finally.

“You know it is.”

She sighed and moved closer. “Do you ever think about what it will be like when I leave?”

All the time. And what he pictured wasn’t pretty. As alone as he felt right now—as hamstrung by his past mistakes—he knew it would be worse when Ella packed up and left. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I think about it.”

Austin wasn’t sure what to make of that. “What do you think about?”

“How comfortable I am here. How much I like the pace of the days. How much I already love the horses.”

“Don’t get too used to the pace. Pretty soon we’ll have cattle here.”

“I like the people, too. Regan and Mason. Camila. The Turners.”

“Anyone else?” Damn. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

“You. When you’re not too busy feeling sorry for yourself.”

Austin accepted the criticism. Maybe he deserved it. Besides, a prickle of interest had swept down his spine at her words. “You like me?” He remembered what Regan had told him that Ella loved him. Was that really true?

“I do. You know I do.” She braced her hands on the back of the sofa and leaned over it. “We’re married, you know.”

“And?”

“We’re married.”

Austin frowned. What was she trying to say?

“We could… stay married.” She bit her lip.

Austin’s stomach sunk. There was nothing he’d rather do than be with Ella. But it wasn’t right.

“We’re having another ceremony in a couple of weeks,” she added softly. “We could make it real this time.”

“Are you proposing to me?” His voice sounded sharp to his own ears. Overly gruff. He didn’t mean to be. He didn’t want to hurt her. In fact, he wanted to say yes more than anything in the world.

But he couldn’t and she had to know that. Hadn’t he been perfectly clear?

She must have read his tone as a refusal. Ella straightened. Brushed his hand away when he reached for her. “I’m sorry. Forget what I said. It was stupid.”

“Ella. It isn’t stupid. It’s just… impossible.”

She retreated toward the bedroom. “Goodnight. Really, Austin. Forget I said a word.”

But as he lay back down and arranged the blanket over himself, he couldn’t think of anything else.

*    *    *

SHE MEANT NO more to Austin now than the day she arrived in Chance Creek. Ella couldn’t believe she’d proposed to him. She couldn’t believe he turned her down. But after a night of tossing and turning, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment over what had happened, she pulled herself together and donned the mask of calm reserve she’d had to perfect recently.

The rest of the week crawled by, each day more uncomfortable than the last. Gone was the easy camaraderie of the previous weeks. Gone, too, were their delightful interludes of passion. Now they spent as little time together as they could during the days. Ella made the horses her priority, doing everything she could think of to help with their care, and filled the rest of her time helping Regan with plans for the vow renewal celebration or with renovations to the Hall or bunkhouse.

They saw neither hide nor hair of Richard—he didn’t even ride past on his bicycle. Ella wondered why Austin didn’t call Heather to check to see if he was all right, but when she suggested as much, Austin told her to mind her own business.

After that, they stopped trying to pretend that anything was right between them, and the gloomy mood in the bunkhouse spread to the Hall as well. Ella began to avoid Regan and Mason because she didn’t want them to ask her questions she couldn’t answer. Austin spent more and more time on horseback, riding the boundaries, as he put it. Ella doubted he even saw the landscape as he rode past.

At night she and Austin retreated to their offices and stayed there long into the night. Regan kept Ella supplied with paperbacks from the local library, and Ella read them all, hardly remembering their plots the following day. Only past midnight did they move separately to their sleeping places, being careful to keep the newly hung drapes closed so that if Heloise decided to send a spy, she’d get no proof they were sleeping apart.

They hadn’t made love in well over a week and Ella felt the loss acutely. It wasn’t the sex she missed the most—although she missed that profoundly—it was the companionship Austin had given her. She missed working with him, playing with him, talking to him. She missed their conversations. She missed the subtle teasing—the way he’d call her into the bunkhouse to check the measurements. The way he’d surround her with his arms and pull her in close.

Milo trailed after her as she made her rounds, feeding the chicks and checking on their health, tidying the bunkhouse, mucking out the horses’ stalls and all the other tasks she’d loaded on her plate. She had the feeling the sensitive dog knew something was wrong but didn’t know how to fix it. She didn’t know how to fix it either.

Thank goodness she had the horses to tend to, or she was sure she’d have lost her mind. She checked each one daily, getting to know their habits and preferences, and kept each stall as clean as possible, feeding them correctly and on time. Her first time back in the saddle had sent her heart soaring, and now she rode every day.

One morning Regan found Ella in the stables after Austin saddled up his horse and rode off again.

“You realize Austin was supposed to drive with Mason today to Chester Acres to check out their cattle, don’t you?” Regan said. “I can’t believe he just left. That’s the third time he’s bailed on Mason.”

“Is Mason angry?” Ella kept working. Austin’s behavior worried her too, but she hoped the others realized she had no control over it.

“He says Austin is depressed. He says he needs counseling but he won’t go.”

“I guess he’s still grieving for his friend,” Ella said. “He thinks he’s responsible for Donovan’s death.” She told Regan everything Austin had said to her. “I know it sounds crazy, but I think he made some kind of vow not to do anything in his life that his friend Donovan can’t do. That’s why he doesn’t want to be married or have children.” It felt good to speak aloud the fears she’d been keeping to herself. “Then when he was forced to marry me—and found out he did have a son, after all—his wiring shorted out, you know what I mean? He found himself breaking the promise he made. And now he’s stuck. If he’s a good husband and father, then he’s betrayed Donovan, but if he keeps his promise to Donovan’s ghost, he’ll betray Richard and me. Regan—” She decided to confess it all. “I think he’s in real trouble.”

Regan nodded. “I think so, too.” She thought a minute. “There has to be someone he’ll listen to. Mason said he was supposed to talk to Reverend Halpern, but he thinks Austin didn’t, after all.” She leaned closer. “Mason’s afraid he didn’t book Halpern for the ceremony, either.”

Ella leaned hard against the pitchfork she was using, suddenly dizzy. Maybe Austin didn’t want her to leave in April.

Maybe he wanted her gone now.

Chapter 25

‡

“I’VE BEEN WAITING for over an hour,” Richard announced when Austin rode back into the stable yard. Austin had been gone since before lunch so the boy was lucky he hadn’t had to wait longer.

“Your mom know you’re here?”

“Nah.”

“She still doesn’t want you to see me?”

“She won’t find out. She’s working today. I’ll be home before she is.”

Austin dismounted and began to work at the straps of his saddle. “Lying to your mom isn’t right.”

“After all the lies she told, I figure she can’t get too mad at me.”

Austin caught the uncertainty in Richard’s tone and decided the boy knew his mom would be plenty mad. “She and I will work something out so you can visit me regularly.” He lifted the saddle off of the horse’s back.

“When?”

“Soon.” If he could find the energy for it. Lately everything felt hard—too hard to tend to correctly. His teammates back in the service would have cussed him out for the way he was behaving these days, but he couldn’t seem to care enough to get on top of it. Today, for example, he was supposed to ride with Mason to look over some cattle, but when he dragged himself off the couch this morning he couldn’t make his feet go in the direction of the Hall. Instead, like usual, they directed him to the stables. Riding was the only thing that helped calm his mind. Otherwise he was tortured with images of Donovan’s vacant stare—his bullet-ridden body. He saw the streets of Kabul, heard the rattle of gunfire. Smelled the blood and piss and shit and—

God, when would it end?

“Dad? Dad!”

Richard’s words penetrated the fog of his brain.

“Dad! I saw an obstacle course in the woods. Can I try it? Will you go with me?”

Obstacle course? Sure, he could do that. Suddenly he was back on solid ground, back in the present. His hand on the horse’s warm flank and the smells of the stable reminded Austin he was home. Safe. “Go on and take a look while I finish up, but hold off running it until I get there. Got it?”

“Got it!” Richard was off like a shot. Austin rubbed down his mount and returned him to his stall before following more slowly.

When he reached the course, Richard was circling the monkey bars. “I checked it all out—it’s so cool! I want to do the balance beam! How’d all this stuff get here?”

“My father built it. Your granddad.”

“Granddad?” Richard lit up. “Where is he? I don’t have a granddad.”

“He passed away a long time ago, unfortunately. But my mom is still alive—your grandma. You’ll meet her soon.”

Richard’s disappointment was plain to see, but at the news his grandmother was still alive he brightened again. “Is she a good cook?”

“The best. She’s a terrific horsewoman, too.”

“Cool,” Richard pronounced.

“I bet you know how to do these,” Austin said, putting a hand on one upright of the closest monkey bar apparatus.

“Everyone knows how to do them. I’m pretty fast, too.”

“As fast as me?”

Richard cocked his head. “Maybe.” He didn’t sound sure.

“Let’s give it a try.” Austin showed Richard where to stand and counted down to a start. He held back a little, letting Richard get a feel for the height and spacing of the bars. “Pretty good. Let’s try again. This time we’ll race.”

“Okay.” Richard hopped down and ran back to the beginning. Austin followed, counted down again and this time sprang for the bars at his normal pace and jumped off the end before Richard was halfway through.

“Wow, you are fast!” Richard said. He pointed to the climbing wall. “How do you get over that?”

“That’s one of the hardest parts of the course. You’re lucky you’re so tall. When my dad first built it, none of us boys were tall enough to jump up and reach the top. We had to help each other over and Dad’s rule was if someone helped you, you had to help them and then wait to run on until both of you were ready. It bugged the crap out of us.”

“Mom doesn’t like it when I say crap,” Richard said matter-of-factly.

“No, I suppose she doesn’t.” Austin chuckled. “All right. Watch me do it.”

He ran for the wall, jumped up, grabbed the top and easily swung himself over it in one fluid motion. When he came back around, Richard’s eyes were wide. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“Not at first, but you’ll get it. Give it a try.”

Richard’s first try was a disaster and his second little better, but on his third attempt he managed to grab the top of the wall and scrabble ungracefully over it. They moved on to race through the tires Austin’s father had pounded into the ground, and then army crawl under lengths of barbed wire. Richard looked like he was in heaven as he tried each obstacle, and why wouldn’t he? Austin remembered how much he and his brothers had loved the course.

“Boys need obstacles,” Aaron Hall always said. “That’s what makes them men.”

Richard had chatted excitedly about the balance beams throughout the process and when they finally got there he proved very agile at them. He ran right up the incline that led up to the huge log that made up his beam, and practically danced across it to the other side. Austin kept pace with him in case he fell, but Richard seemed in no danger of that. Pride swelled Austin’s chest. That was his boy walking across that high beam. His son.

Donovan’s face flashed into his mind. Austin came to a halt.

“What’s that?” Richard shouted, running ahead after climbing down from the beam.

“A salmon ladder,” Austin said absently. The whole time they’d been doing the obstacle course he’d forgotten all about Donovan. His friend would never get to feel this kind of pride in a son. That had been robbed from him along with the rest of his future.

“How does it work?” Richard jumped up to grab the metal bar that rested in a set of brackets attached to two straight, closely spaced pines. He tried a chin up. Austin shook his head, realizing he couldn’t puzzle out if it was right or wrong to focus on the boy to the exclusion of his friend’s memory. He could only do one thing at a time, and right now he had to pay attention to Richard.

“Let me show you.”

Richard jumped down again and backed away. Austin leaped up lightly to grab the bar, did a chin up, swung his legs and popped up with enough strength to move the metal bar up to the second set of brackets. He did another chin up and popped the bar up again, continuing on until he reached the top.

When he jumped down again, Richard was clearly in awe.

“No way I can do that.”

“You’ll have to learn if you want to race me.”

“But that’ll take ages! I’ll just skip that one.”

“There’s no skipping—if you can’t do the ladder, you can do thirty chin ups instead.”

“It’ll take me twice as long to do that than it took you to do the ladder!”

“Better learn to do the ladder then.”

“But I won’t be able to beat you!” Richard was becoming upset. His cheeks were flushed and his hands balled into fists.

“Probably not.” Austin remained calm in the face of Richard’s rising anger.

“Then what’s the point?”

“The point is to keep trying until you can beat me. Why don’t you try some chin ups right now?” Austin could swear he’d had exactly the same conversation with his own father some twenty-odd years ago. He remembered feeling about as frustrated as Richard looked.

“No.”

Austin blinked. “What do you mean no?”

“It’s not fair! It’s stupid! Both people should be able to win.”

“And you will in time—you just have to work for that kind of accomplishment.”

“I don’t want to. I want to skip it!”

“I said, do some chin ups.” Austin stepped toward Richard. Richard held his ground.

“You can’t make me!”

Austin’s patience vanished. “Do them. Now.”

“I’m outta here.”

Richard stalked off. Austin strode after him. He grabbed the boy’s bicep and spun him around. “I gave you an order.”

Richard’s face darkened with emotion, his eyes filled with tears. Austin dropped his arm, shocked at his own behavior. What the hell was he doing? This wasn’t the Army.

“Shit. Richard, I’m—”

He didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence before Richard turned and sprinted away. By the time Austin cleared the woods, the boy was already pedaling his bike up the driveway to the road. Austin let him go.

Richard was better off without him.

*    *    *

“UH OH,” REGAN said when a banged up black GMC truck pulled into the Hall’s driveway. “Isn’t that Heather, Richard’s mom?”

Ella shook her head. Since she’d never seen the woman, she didn’t know. “Whoever she is, she looks pissed.”

They were sitting on the front porch of the Hall going over the catering menu Camila had dropped by to pick out dishes to serve at the ceremony. Growing more and more uncomfortable with the upcoming event, Ella had longed for a diversion, but this wasn’t what she had in mind.

The truck skidded to a stop and the driver’s side door flung open. “Where is he? Where’s Austin?” the curvy blond woman who emerged asked them.

“Out in the barn, probably,” Regan said.

Heather stalked past without introducing herself and continued toward the outbuildings in back of the house. After sharing a look, Ella and Regan stood up and followed her. They reached the back of the Hall in time to see Heather face off with Austin. As angry as Heather was, Austin looked far fiercer.

“You lay one more hand on my son, and I’ll call the police,” Heather shouted. “I mean it. I can’t believe you did that!”

“What did Austin do?” Regan said, walking straight up to the pair. Ella held back, unwilling to get involved in this fight.

“I stepped over the line, I admit it,” Austin said. “Richard got smart-alecky and walked away from me. I tried to stop him.”

“He said you grabbed him.”

“Maybe I did. Can you blame me? You kept him from me for twelve goddamn years, Heather.”

Heather blinked at the depth of the frustration in Austin’s voice. Ella ached for him. She knew how much he was struggling with this. Knew he didn’t have the faintest clue how to be a father to Richard.

“I… oh, this is ridiculous,” Heather said. “I wish you Halls had never come back!” She turned around and stalked back the way she’d come.

“Austin,” Ella began, wanting to comfort him, but it was far too late.

“To hell with this.” Austin was already striding off in the other direction.

*    *    *

“I DON’T SEE why I have to be here. Colt’s not going to be on the call,” Austin said that evening as he and Mason sat down in front of Mason’s laptop to make a video call to Zane. Colt had just shipped overseas with his unit on a special mission and from what little he’d told them, he would be unavailable for several months, but Mason insisted on making the call anyway.

“We’re all in this together. That means we all have to communicate. Even you.” Mason clicked on Zane’s call link and some moments later they were connected. Zane looked happy to see them.

“Hey! There you are,” he said, grinning into the screen.

“You’re chipper,” Mason said.

“Back on US soil. It’s a good feeling,” Zane said. “Two more months and I’m home free. Can’t wait.”

“The place is looking good. We’ve got a horse with your name on it.”

“You called one of the horses Zane?”

Austin rolled his eyes at his brothers’ high spirits. He didn’t know what they found so funny.

“So, you know what I’m going to ask,” Mason said, growing serious.

“I’m sorry to report I do not have a fiancée,” Zane said. “I have been chatting with someone online, though.”

“Any plans to meet up?”

“For god’s sake, you’re taking this matchmaking thing too far, Mase,” Austin said. “Look at the mess I’ve gotten into. You want Zane screwed up like me?”

Zane looked from one of them to the other. “What’s going on?”

“What’s going on is a textbook case of survivor’s guilt,” Mason said dryly. “Your brother refuses to get any help.”

“I don’t need help.”

Zane made a face. “I can tell from here he needs some help,” he said to Mason.

“Exactly,” Mason said.

“I’m right here,” Austin pointed out. “Don’t talk about me like I can’t hear you.”

“If you could hear me, you’d have talked to Reverend Halpern by now. He hasn’t even hired the minister for the ceremony,” Mason said to Zane.

“Why not?”

“Because there shouldn’t be a ceremony,” Austin exploded. “I shouldn’t be getting married. And I goddamn well shouldn’t have a kid.”

“You got Ella pregnant?” Zane straightened up. “Way to go!”

“I didn’t get her pregnant. I don’t think.”

“It turns out Heather Ward got pregnant before we left Chance Creek,” Mason explained.

Zane’s smile slipped away. “Heather? You’re shitting me.”

“It’s true. Austin here has a son. His name’s Richard and he’s twelve years old.”

“Holy… shit.” Zane sat back, clearly dumbfounded. “She never said anything?”

“Nope. She didn’t want me to see him.” Austin heard the bitterness in his own voice.

Zane was quiet a moment. “Why not? Did she say?”

“She said…” Austin swallowed. “She said she kept it quiet because she loved someone else. She didn’t end up with him, though—whoever he is. She’s single.”

“Huh. You aren’t interested in her, are you?”

“No.” It was true—he hadn’t felt the slightest tug at his heart either time he’d seen her. Heather was so far in his past she wasn’t even the same person and neither was he. “I won’t turn my back on Richard, though.”

Zane nodded. “Of course. Hey, I have some news, too. I’ll be able to make it to the ceremony. Just overnight, though.”

“Great.” Austin knew he should be more excited, but the closer the ceremony came, the more he dreaded it. It seemed like the culmination of too many lies to do anyone any good.

“I’ll see you then,” Zane said.

“With a fiancée,” Mason said.

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll see.”

Chapter 26

‡

ELLA WAS CHECKING on the baby chicks a few days later when Richard appeared in the doorway of the coop and nearly frightened the daylights out of her. Austin was gone with Mason for the day and she’d expected to be alone, so she shrieked and the chicks scrambled around in their large box. The tiny balls of fluff had grown much bigger now, but they weren’t ready to roam free in the structure. Ella loved it when they stretched their tiny wings which were just getting their first pin feathers.

“You scared me to death.”

“Sorry.” Richard’s shoulders were slumped and he lurked in the doorway as if afraid to come in, but more afraid to be caught outside.

“I don’t think you should be here, honey. Your mom said she didn’t want you here.”

“I know.” He scuffed the floor with a sneaker. “I wanted to come,” he muttered.

“I see. I think your mom was worried Austin might have scared you.”

“Nah.”

“Sounds like he got pretty angry, though.”

“I guess.”

It was like pulling teeth to make conversation with Richard, but Ella decided he wouldn’t have come if he didn’t want to talk.

“I think he’s sorry he got so angry,” she told him.

He straightened. “I figured. I think he’s more used to soldiers than kids.”

She smiled. “I think that’s true.”

“He got mad because I wouldn’t do the chin-ups. On the obstacle course.”

“Oh. I don’t blame you. Chin-ups aren’t any fun.”

“But the course is really cool. I just need to practice, like Dad said. If I practice enough I can do the salmon ladder.”

Richard had called Austin Dad. Her heart gave a tender throb of pity for both of them, and she hoped Austin and Heather would work out some way to co-parent Richard without all of this rancor. She remembered the impossible bit of equipment Richard mentioned. When Austin jumped the bar from one level to another in the brackets, she’d been stunned. She hadn’t known people could do that.

“I’d be hopeless at all of it,” she confessed to him.

“Then you should practice, too. Do you want to?” Richard looked at her hopefully.

“Do I want to what?”

“Practice the obstacle course. I’ll help you.”

The last thing Ella wanted to do was try to run that crazy obstacle course, but she had a feeling it meant a lot to Richard that she say yes.

“Okay,” she said. “I won’t be any good at it, though.”

She finished up with the chickens and allowed Richard to lead her across the lawn to the woods where the course was. Once she and Richard reached it, they squared off at the starting line.

“On your mark, get set, go!” Richard yelled.

Ella gamely jumped up to the monkey bars and went hand over hand across them. She was surprised to find that she’d retained the skill from grade school and by the end she was chuckling over the discovery.

Her laughter soon stopped when Richard raced for the climbing wall, managed to hook his hand over the top and kick and scrabble his way up and over.

“No way. I can’t do that,” she exclaimed.

Richard popped back around the wall. “I’ll help. Dad says you have to help the other person.”

“Huh.” She didn’t think it would work, but Richard crouched down and laced his hands together, giving her a foothold. She braced herself against his shoulder, stepped on his hands and lunged for the top of the wall, shocked when she managed to grab it. Before she could try to swing a leg up, Richard stood up, braced his shoulder under her bottom and lifted her as high as he could. The next thirty seconds were as inelegant as you could get, but Ella finally got a leg over the top of the wall.

“Now what?” She clung to the structure for dear life, wavering on top of it. “How do I get down?”

“Jump!”

“What?” She lost her grip and tumbled over the wall, landing somehow on her feet on the other side. “Ow!”

“Are you all right?”

“I’ll live,” Ella said. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“It gets easier.” Richard acted as her cheerleader from that point on, and Ella had to admit it did get easier—for a little while. It seemed to cheer Richard up tremendously, too, and the more he helped her, the more confident he got. About halfway through the course, Ella realized that this was a bit like the equine therapy she wanted to do. Working with horses was supposed to help kids with problems learn trust and confidence in themselves. The thought made her laugh—was she the horse in this scenario?

When she watched Richard walk across the balance beams like there was nothing to it, she shook her head in awe. Once again she required his help, first in climbing up the slippery incline to get on the log, and then his calm chatter to help rein in her fears as she wobbled down the length of it.

At the far end she was confronted with the salmon ladder.

“I can’t do that,” she stated.

“I can’t either,” Richard said. “So it’s chin-ups for us. Thirty of them.”

“Thirty?” She couldn’t do that either, but it turned out Richard could—without stopping. The boy was very proud of that. She did as many as she could—about eight in a row—and then agreed with Richard, she’d have to practice them a lot.

When they were done, Ella was exhausted, but she was more relaxed than she’d been in ages. “That was kind of fun,” she said.

“That was loads of fun! Can we do it again?”

“Not today. You’d better go home and I’d better get to work.”

“Ella? Will you help me get my parents to stop fighting?”

She wished she knew how. “I’ll do my best.” She turned toward the Hall, but Richard lagged behind, all his insecurity back with a vengeance. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Do you think… do you think they split up because of me?”

“No.” That she was sure of. “You know your Dad didn’t know about you when he left. It wasn’t you that split them up.”

“Okay.”

But he remained subdued as he rescued his bike from where he’d hidden it in the woods and she realized as he left how much effort he’d taken to get the time alone with her. It touched her heart he thought she could help him, and that he wanted to spend time on the obstacle course with her. She had a feeling he was building back his courage to see Austin and wanted to be able to do a good job when he ran the course with him.

*    *    *

“YOU’RE GOING THE wrong way,” Austin said, straightening in the passenger seat of Mason’s truck. The bad mood he’d woke up in had persisted throughout the hour–and-a-half drive to Sunset Ranch, the inspection of the cattle for sale there, a long-winded haggling session with Dirk Wright, the owner, a late lunch and the hour-and-a-half drive back. Austin meant to grab the six-pack in the bunkhouse fridge and ride out on his favorite horse, Blitz, until he found a quiet place where he could drink it. Alone. So when Mason veered off the two-lane highway down a side street, his anger boiled up right to the top. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Taking you to see Halpern. I bumped into him yesterday. Turns out I was right; you still didn’t book him for the vow renewal ceremony.” Mason turned into the empty church parking lot and parked the truck. “So you can either march in there and do it, or you can be man enough to tell me right now that you’re backing out.”

“I’m not backing out.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” Austin said. “Everything is fucked up.”

“Really? Because the way I see it you have it pretty sweet. You’ve got a woman back there who Regan says loves you and wants to get married for real. You have a son, and it’s rotten you didn’t know that until now, but he’s a good kid and he’s dying for you to step up and be his dad. You’ve got the most beautiful ranch in the world waiting for you to run it and three brothers to help. What the hell is your problem? And don’t give me that shit that you shouldn’t be alive. None of us should. I sure as hell shouldn’t. I served just as long as you did—you think I didn’t lose anyone I cared about? I did.”

“So you’re a goddamn saint and I’m a piece of shit. What else is new?”

Mason stared at him. “Who are you? Because you aren’t my brother. He never talked like that. Maybe I’m bossy. So tell me to go to hell. But you and I—we never compared ourselves.”

Austin turned away. That wasn’t exactly true. He’d compared himself to Mason plenty of times as they grew up, but his brother was right—they didn’t label themselves or each other the way some families did.

“You never played the part of the fuck-up before now, and it doesn’t suit you,” Mason went on. “You’ve got too many people who depend on you to play it now, either. Get in there and talk to Halpern. I’ll wait right here.”

“I don’t want to…”

“I’m not asking you. I’m telling you.”

Austin realized it would be easier to do just that than stay here and argue. Besides, Mason was right about one thing—he did need to book the reverend. He wished there was some way to back out of all of this so he could go and hide and lick his wounds until he felt better, but life had other plans. It kept going even when he wanted to stop. The ranch wouldn’t wait. Heloise wouldn’t wait. Neither would Ella or Richard. Like it or not, he had to go forward and play this game. He would marry Ella again. He would stay with her for the next nine months. He would do his best to be a father to Richard.

And maybe someday he wouldn’t feel like an automaton going through the motions.

He found Reverend Halpern in his office, working at his desk. The minister brightened when he caught sight of Austin. “I’d just about given up on you.”

Austin took a seat in front of his desk. “Sometimes I think everyone should. It’s what I deserve.” Though he said the words lightly, he meant them, and Halpern seemed to realize that because he answered in a serious tone.

“Not to sound overly preachy, Austin—I wouldn’t want to scare you away again—but you know that God never gives up on us, right?”

Austin had a rancher’s practical belief in things divine. A sense that something ruled over creation, but it was a something with more on its mind than man’s day-to-day needs.

In other words, he didn’t know that at all.

“Austin?” Halpern leaned forward, his elbows on his desk.

Austin shifted uncomfortably.

“You’re not the only soldier who’s come home to these parts in the last few years. You’re not the only one who’s looked at me that way.”

“You see a few things in a war,” Austin said. “It changes you.”

“It changes the way you look at the world, it changes the way you feel about it, but it doesn’t change you, Austin. Not the core of you.”

“I’m not sure you know what you’re talking about, Reverend.” He wanted to set up the ceremony and leave, but he couldn’t be rude to the minister. Maybe some part of him wanted to finally have it out. Maybe some part of him was sick of carrying this burden alone.

“Have I been to war? No, I haven’t. I wasn’t called to a military ministry. But I’ve done this job for twenty years and I’ve counseled many men who’ve gone to war. I’ve also seen and heard a few things right here in Chance Creek that would turn your hair. Life is hard, Austin. I’m not one who would deny that.” He touched a small bell on his desk, pushing it an inch to the side. “Last time you were here, I told you your father would be proud of you, and you hightailed it out the door. Which leads me to believe you think you’ve failed him somehow. Am I right?”

Pain thickened Austin’s throat. He didn’t want to talk about this. Didn’t have to talk about it. But when he went to rise, Halpern’s gaze pinned him down like a sniper’s fire. Austin stayed where he was.

“I’ve made mistakes,” he forced out.

“And you think your father didn’t?” Halpern leaned back. “He’d be the first to admit he did.”

“Losing a few head of cattle, or having one drink too many down at the Dancing Boot don’t count.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Halpern shook his head. “You lost your father too young. Aaron never got the chance to have the real conversations a man has with his sons when they grow up enough to see how complicated life is.”

Austin shrugged. “What would he have told me if he did?”

“About the time he nearly killed your mother.”

“What?” Austin blinked. Nothing like that had ever happened to his knowledge.

“I don’t have to tell you she wouldn’t like the story bandied about. I’m afraid it touches on Mason, too, and if you’ve ever done the math you’ll know there’s a part that’s a little embarrassing for both your parents.”

Austin wasn’t sure he followed. He couldn’t see how Halpern could be right, either. His parents were best friends, wholly and totally in love throughout his childhood. His mother had never said a word against his father after he was gone, either.

“It was a long time ago—the year your parents got married. They’d been serious for a while, but your father hadn’t popped the question. He was a little spooked about tying the knot. You see, he’d never left Montana, and neither had your mother. I think it occurred to him that once they settled down and started a family, they never would, and maybe the walls felt like they were closing in. I don’t know. Regardless, he started acting up. Got good and drunk a few times. Started a fight at the Boot that got out of control and caused more than a thousand dollars of damage. Then he and Art Caulfield decided to drag race one Saturday night. Right down Main Street. It was about three in the morning. The whole gang had been out drinking and dancing and wanted the fun to go on even when the Boot shut down for the night. Someone had a few cases of beer in their truck bed. They continued the party in the Stop-N-Shop parking lot, and then Aaron challenged Art to a race. The winner owed the loser a hundred bucks.”

Halpern’s gaze had grown distant and Austin could tell he had gone back in time with his memories.

“The rest of the party moved to the finish line to call the race. Your mother tried to stop it—she was the only sober one in the bunch—but when she realized those boys wouldn’t listen to her, she waited at the finish line too, determined to force your father to take her home the minute the race was over. They were about halfway down the stretch when the police showed up. Your dad panicked.”

Austin waited for the rest, although he could guess at it.

“He lost control of his truck, swerved off the road, nearly took out the whole crowd standing on the sidewalk. Missed them by inches, but hit your mother—a glancing hit, not head on. Still, it knocked her to the ground pretty hard.”

Austin shook his head. He didn’t believe it. He would know about something like that.

“Ask anyone in town over the age of fifty. It’s common knowledge. What isn’t known is the rest of the story.” Halpern steepled his fingers together. “By rights I shouldn’t tell you this part since it’s your mother’s story to tell, and I wouldn’t tell it if I didn’t think you really needed to hear these words today.”

Austin wanted him to stop. He didn’t want to hear what was coming.

“Your mother was pregnant with Mason at the time. No one knew it but her—not even your father. The truth came out when she was taken to the hospital. She had some bleeding and it was touch and go there for a little while. They thought she might lose the baby. When your father found out, he was inconsolable. Absolutely heartbroken. He’d nearly killed the woman he loved. He might have killed their child. You have never seen a man so overcome with remorse. I worried he might do himself a harm and I wasn’t alone in that. Your Great Aunt Heloise took charge of him and didn’t let him out of her sight for a minute after I got done with him. Say what you want about that meddling old woman.” Halpern smiled ruefully. “She’s not stupid and she gets the job done when it needs doing.”

In the ensuing silence, the ticking of a clock marked the passage of time. Austin knew how he’d feel if he’d hurt Ella. If he’d been the cause of her losing their baby…

“How…?” He couldn’t put his question into words, but the reverend understood what he was asking.

“How did your parents’ love for each other survive something like that? Your father wondered that, too. Once he found out Julie was all right he was as relieved as you can imagine, but that didn’t last long. He was grateful Julie and the baby were safe, but he figured she’d never want to see him again, and even if she did her parents would forbid it.” Halpern chuckled. “Your parents were of age, but your grandparents on your mother’s side can be pretty fierce.”

Austin nodded. These days they lived in Florida near his mother and aunt. He’d known them growing up; they could be awfully stern.

“Aaron told me later that when he finally got up the courage to go see her, his heart was nearly pounding out of his chest. He was right—her parents were there in the room, too. They refused to let him see Julie alone. But they weren’t there for the reason he thought. They were there to strongly urge the case for marriage.”

“Why didn’t they hate him? Why didn’t Grandpa nail him to a fence and start shooting?”

“Young people forget that old people were young once, too. Your grandpa knew Aaron would never drink and drive again—never race again, either. It was pretty clear he’d been scared straight. I think your grandpa thought that made him a safer bet for his daughter than any of the other young bucks who hadn’t messed up yet. Plus your parents were in love—anyone could see that. From the moment they reunited, Aaron treated Julie like something precious because he knew how close he’d come to losing her. When Mason came along, happy and healthy as anything, they both appreciated him because they knew how fragile a new life was. They appreciated every moment they had together, too, because they knew there were no guarantees how many moments they had left. They really had something special, Austin.”

“But…” Austin knew his case was different. He hadn’t been drunk or young or stupid. Well, maybe stupid.

But as Ella had said, maybe if he’d saved Donovan first, Edgars would have died. Was it okay to let the past go and focus on the future?

“People make mistakes,” Halpern said. “God forgives them. He asks us to forgive them, too. Don’t think you’re special, Austin. Don’t think you’re the one human being who doesn’t deserve a second chance.”

Austin couldn’t sit still another moment. Too much emotion was clogging his throat. He didn’t think he was special, but he didn’t think he believed in forgiveness or second chances, either, and all of this talk was dredging up feelings that he didn’t want to feel.

He didn’t remember getting to his feet, but just like before, Halpern’s parting words caught up with him as he strode out the door.

“I’ll be ready to officiate at your ceremony, Austin. I’ll call the ranch directly to make arrangements.”

Austin picked up the pace.

Chapter 27

‡

HER MUSCLES WERE more defined than they’d been five weeks ago. As Ella stuck a pitchfork into the mass of straw and manure in the horse stall she was mucking out later that afternoon, her biceps tensed and rippled as if she were an athlete. She’d always stayed in shape—her career demanded it—but now she was stronger, leaner and had a healthy glow from the hours she spent in the sun.

Los Angeles seemed like a dream. So did her time with Anthony. Her long hours in the stables these days gave her plenty of time to sort through her memories and she had pinpointed in her mind when he’d pulled away from her and started to cheat with Kaylee. It was clear that it had gone on for a long time, which made her wonder why he hadn’t spoken up. He had footed the bill for most of the preparations for their wedding, and he wouldn’t have recouped any of it once she left town. Had he known breaking up with Ella would hurt his image? He must have wanted to wait until after he won his Best Actor award, even if it meant continuing to throw thousands of dollars at a ceremony he had no intention of going through with.

He did win Best Actor, too. That was the irony. Anthony and Kaylee had won the awards, but somehow Ella had won the public’s heart. Maybe Marianne was right. Maybe she should take advantage of it. After all, if Austin didn’t want her here, what was the point of studying equine therapy? She supposed she could buy her own ranch and her own horses, but it wouldn’t be the same. She’d be lonely for Regan and Mason, Camila and the Turners.

For Austin most of all.

If she couldn’t have this dream, maybe she should go back to Hollywood and put back on the cloak of her former self—maybe she should read through that script Marianne had sent.

She had hoped Austin might change his mind in time. She hadn’t felt this kind of connection with another person since… well since she’d first become friends with Marianne, before Marianne’s dreams took over both their lives. She was older now and wiser. Judging by the way she and Austin worked together, laughed together and made love together, she thought they could do just fine as partners in life together—if Austin would only let her in.

When she was done mucking out the stables, she returned to the bunkhouse for a quick shower before lunch, and was just stepping out of the bathroom when a chiming sound led her into the living room. Curious, she followed the sound to the sofa, where she found Austin’s phone tucked between the cushions, a sleek black rectangle that now chirped the news that a call was coming in. She picked it up and checked to see who it was.

Chase Edgars.

Why was that name familiar?

She answered the phone a moment later. Edgars was Austin’s army buddy—the one he’d saved.

“Hello?”

“Oh… hello. Is Austin Hall there?” The voice on the other end of the line was masculine and deep. A little hesitant.

“He’s out at the moment, but this is his wife. Can I take a message?”

“His wife? Really? Austin’s okay, then?” The man’s relief was obvious. Ella frowned.

“Yes, he’s okay. He left the military a few months ago. We’re in Montana now—on his family’s old ranch. You served with him, right?”

“He told you about me? I’m glad to hear it.”

“He told me a little,” she qualified. She realized she might never get another chance to speak to Chase Edgars again, so she decided to make the most of the opportunity. “You were close to Austin, right? I probably shouldn’t say anything, but he—he’s having some trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?” The voice dipped again. Edgars sounded genuinely interested.

“It’s been hard on him since he left the service. He told me a little about Donovan.”

Edgars expelled a breath. “Yeah. That’s why I called. He hasn’t talked to me since, you know.”

“No—I didn’t know that. I thought you were best friends.”

“Not after Donovan died. I think Austin wishes it was me.”

“No!” Ella caught herself. “No, that’s not it at all; I know that much. He thinks he should have saved both of you. He goes over it and over it in his mind, trying to figure out what he did wrong—what he should have done instead.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. “And you’re paying the price.”

“I don’t care about that. I care about him.”

“I know,” he said. “I wish I knew what I could do to help.”

“Well, there is something you could do,” Ella said. “You could come to our wedding. We’re renewing our vows, because we were alone for our first ceremony. Now we want to restate them in front of our friends and family.”

“That sounds encouraging.” She was beginning to like Edgars’ voice. She could see why Austin would be friends with this thoughtful man.

“Not as encouraging as you might think. Please say you’ll come. We can put you up at the Hall. It’s in early August.”

“Okay. Give me your e-mail. I’ll get in touch and we’ll make plans. Will you tell Austin I’m coming?”

“No. It will be a surprise. You should arrive a day or two early so you two can reconnect.”

“I’ll do that.” They exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers so they could communicate directly. “I’m looking forward to meeting you,” he said when they ended the call.

“Me, too.”

*    *    *

“RICHARD CAME BY this afternoon,” Ella said. Framed in the door to the bedroom, the soft light of her bedside reading lamp backlighting her body, she looked so sweet and womanly Austin wanted to go to her and take her in his arms.

“Richard? Did you tell him I was gone for the day?”

“Yes, but it was me he came to see, actually.” She moved into the room. Austin shifted the sheet over his naked body. It was far too warm a night for clothing, even if he was sleeping on the couch. Outside, crickets chirped their summer songs and stars glinted in a black velvet sky.

“Really?”

“Um-hmm. He wanted to practice running the course before he squared off with you again.”

Austin chuckled. “I’ll bet. He didn’t like the fact I could beat him.”

“Well, he was safe from that with me. I was the worst.”

“You ran the course?” He would have liked to see that. Why hadn’t he ever thought to ask her to try it out with him?

Too busy worrying about the past to even think of it.

“I tried to run it,” she said. “I got most of the way through, with Richard’s help. He’s a sweet kid.” She moved even closer. He wondered if she had anything on under that light robe. Ever since he moved onto the couch at nights, it had been hell knowing she was so close and he wasn’t allowed to touch her. If he took her hand and pulled her down to him would she allow him to make love to her now?

“He wants you to be his dad,” she said softly.

“I know.”

When Ella sat on the couch’s arm, Austin let out a sigh. Mason was right; he had everything he could ever hope for right here. A wife, a son, a ranch. What if Halpern was right? What if it was possible to be forgiven for what he’d done? What if it was okay for him to move forward with his life, even if Donovan couldn’t move forward with his?

He wished Donovan was here to tell him what to do. He could almost picture his friend sitting in the easy chair across the room.

You think too much, he’d say. Shut off your brain and live a little.

If only he could. If only he could ask Ella for her forgiveness for being so cold to her. For taking out his sorrow on her. She didn’t deserve to be treated the way he had treated her.

A memory stirred within him. A warm, clear night like this one under a full moon on a mission that led them deep into enemy territory. Edgars wasn’t feeling right and Austin had taken his watch, hoping an hour or two of extra sleep would help his friend. Donovan had joined him.

“Edgars says he’s fine—he can handle staying up a couple of hours.”

“Let him be. A little rest will do him wonders.”

“Just so you know you’re taking this watch because you want to. Not because you have to.”

“And?” Donovan was like that, making you question your motives for the simplest things. What was wrong with taking an extra watch to ease the way for one of your friends?

“And it’s important to know the difference.”

“So go to bed already.”

“I’ll stay.”

He remembered his exasperation. “Why?”

“Because I’m choosing this watch, too.”

Choosing this watch. Is that what Donovan would say he was doing now? That by trying to honor his memory—by keeping himself separate from life and pleasure out of respect for the dead—he wasn’t really honoring Donovan at all?

“Austin.” Ella’s voice recalled him to the present. “Tell me about Donovan.”

He wasn’t sure he could do that and maintain control. Somehow in the darkness the veil between past and present seemed awfully thin. It was easy to picture Donovan here in the room too, saying, Yeah, tell her about me, Hall.

“He was fast. The fastest man I’ve ever seen. I thought I was good at running but he had me beat by a mile.”

“That’s hard to believe.”

“It’s true.” Her features were shadowed in the low light, but he knew she was waiting for more. “He was funny, too. Always making a joke about something. Not your normal stupid jokes, either. He could make me laugh at the worst times. During briefings. On parade. Shit, he got me in trouble more times than I can count.”

“What do you think he’d say about you?”

He considered this. “That I got him in trouble, too. That I brought out the best and the worst in him. That I never broke my word—” He stumbled. “Until now,” he added more softly.

“You made a promise to him you didn’t keep?”

Austin nodded, realized she couldn’t see him and said, “Yeah. I did.”

“What was it?”

“To go to his parents and tell them—that he knew he could die when he signed up. That it was worth it to him. He didn’t want them to feel bad.”

Ella remained silent for a long time. “I don’t think he would want you to feel bad, either.”

He let out a shaky breath. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know anymore.”

“I’ll come with you,” Ella said softly. “To Donovan’s parents’ house. If it helps.”

Austin thought that through. “I guess I’ve put it off long enough.”

“Are you afraid of what they’ll say?”

“I wouldn’t blame them if they hated me.”

“They won’t hate you. But they will be glad to talk to someone who knew their son well. I imagine they need to talk about his death, too, you know? And there probably aren’t a lot of people they can do that with.”

He’d never thought of it that way, but it made sense. It would be easier if he could share some of what lay heavy on his heart. It had helped a little to hear what Reverend Halpern had to say, but there was so much more that weighed on him. Maybe Ella was right; maybe he and Donovan’s parents could help each other share that burden.

“We’ll make plans tomorrow then.” Ella stood up. Hesitated. “I know you don’t think things are going to be okay and I know it’s been hard for you to be forced into this marriage and parenthood. But I still think it could work out if you let it. I think you can get through this, Austin. You just need to give yourself a break sometimes.”

There was so much more he wanted to say to her, but he didn’t know how to say it. The silence between them stretched until Ella crossed slowly to the bedroom door. She hesitated there a long moment. He could see her struggling with a decision.

“Austin,” she began softly. “I was wondering… I thought…” She pulled her robe more tightly around her. “Do you think you could come and check a couple of measurements for me?”

Austin knew he had a choice to make now between life and love, or death and despair. Donovan would have demanded he choose the former; his foray into self-loathing and denial hadn’t honored his friend at all. Briggs had been right all those weeks ago—Donovan would have decked him for acting the way he’d been acting. If he were here to give advice, he’d tell Austin to love his wife and his son with all of his heart.

A day ago, Austin would have rejected Ella, but not anymore. He got to his feet, crossed to her, reached for her hand and led her into the bedroom, where he should have been all along.

He turned back the sheets and Ella undid the tie of her robe, but before she could climb onto the bed, Austin caught her and pulled her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against him, her cheek against his chest as if she was listening to his heartbeat. He could tell she was crying and for some time he simply held her—giving her the space to let it out, gratified for this chance to be with her again. When he breathed in her fresh, pure scent, Ella went up on tip-toes and pressed her lips to his. He didn’t hold back. He scraped his mouth over hers, hungrily devouring her kisses. As she moved in his arms, her breasts slid against his skin, her nipples tracing delicious curves that lit him up from within. Soon he picked her up and deposited her on the bed, ready for more sensations. Once he was lost in the paradise that was Ella’s body, he couldn’t turn back.

Austin showered every inch of her with attention until his own desire threatened to overwhelm him. Then he positioned himself between her legs. Ella gasped when he entered her, then moaned when he began to move inside in rhythmic thrusts. He could barely keep control once he’d entered her—it had been so long—but he meant to bring her to the height of passion before he took care of his own needs. He wanted to cherish her—show her he knew she was worth cherishing.

But when she slid her hands down his back and pulled him hard against her, all thought of cherishing slid right out of Austin’s head, replaced by a need to possess Ella utterly. He’d nearly let her go. He’d practically driven her away. And the thought of her in anyone else’s arms was too much to bear.

Ella met him stroke for stroke, murmuring words of encouragement. She wanted this as badly as he did—needed him close to her, inside her—as much as he needed to be there. This was right—it had to be.

Austin stroked in and pulled out, stroked in and pulled out again, then lost track of his rhythm, thrusting until they both lost control and came together, crying out in tandem as they went over the edge.

Afterward, they slept tangled together as if neither could bear to part even then, and Austin knew when he woke up the following morning that he had to do whatever it took to set things to right between him and Donovan. He couldn’t follow his friend into death.

Not now.

*    *    *

“YOU’RE GLOWING,” REGAN said, getting to her feet when Ella entered the Hall’s kitchen the next morning. “What happened? Did you and Austin make up?”

Ella waved her back to her seat and poured herself a cup of coffee. Regan had switched to decaf, which Ella hated, but she figured it was better than nothing. “Yes, we did make up.” She tried to suppress her smile, but she couldn’t. Making up with Austin had been wonderful.

“You did more than make up by the looks of things. If Austin’s half as good as Mason between the sheets, I don’t blame you for smiling like that.”

Ella couldn’t help it. She shared a grin with her sister-in-law that she was sure told Regan everything she needed to know. “I’ve never experienced anything like it before.”

“Do you think it was all the fresh air, sunshine and hard work they got growing up on this place?” Regan asked reflectively. “Or was it something in their military training?”

“I don’t know, but if they could bottle it, I bet they could make a fortune.”

“Funny, I already feel rich,” Regan said. She looked as contented as a cat as she sipped her coffee.

“Well, I already am rich, but I know what you mean.” Ella found an orange in the refrigerator and began to peel it. “I’m going to go with Austin to visit his friend’s parents.”

“The friend who didn’t make it?” Regan set her coffee cup down and gave Ella her full attention.

“That’s right. Austin needs to pass a message on to them. I hope they aren’t upset with him.”

“Whatever happens, he’ll have you by his side, at least.”

“That’s for sure.” Now that Austin had returned to her, she felt she could face anything the world had to throw at her. “It’s less than two weeks to the vow renewal ceremony. That’s a mouthful, isn’t it? I should just start calling it a wedding—that’s really what it is. But I don’t want to jinx it, you know?”

“I get it. Don’t worry about a thing while you’re gone. Maya, Stella, Camila and I will keep all the plans on track.” When Ella didn’t answer, she asked, “Is something else wrong?”

Ella set her cup on her saucer. “This isn’t over yet; what Austin is going through. What if he can’t heal all the way? What if he’s never able to truly love me?”

Regan patted her hand. “Don’t borrow trouble, sweetie. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

But she didn’t sound sure at all.

*    *    *

WHEN AUSTIN MADE the turn from the Hall’s driveway out onto the country highway that led into town, he saw Richard trundling his way. Richard spotted him too, and coasted to a stop nearby.

Austin rolled down his window. “Hi.”

Richard eyed him warily. “Hi.”

“Coming for a visit?”

“Yeah. But you’re leaving.”

“I have an errand in town. Want to come? You can throw your bike in the back.”

“Sure!” A moment later Richard swung his bike into the truck bed and climbed in the passenger seat. “Where are we going?”

“Thayer’s Jewelers.”

“A jewelry store?” Richard looked like he’d swallowed a bug. “Why?”

“To buy Ella a ring.”

“I thought you two were already married.”

“We are, but we’re doing the ceremony over again. We didn’t have any of our friends or family there the first time.”

“Huh.” Richard thought about that. “Hey—can I be your best man?”

Austin was surprised by the request. He’d thought Richard might resent his marriage to Ella—not to mention still be mad at him for the way he’d acted before. “Sure. Why not? We’ll have to get you a suit, though.”

“A tux, right?”

Austin chuckled. “No—this is a small, outdoor wedding. No one is wearing a tux.”

“Are you wearing your uniform?”

“Maybe.” That might be fitting since he was still in the reserves, and it was a way he could honor Donovan’s memory while still taking strides forward in his life. “Yeah, I think I will.”

“Cool! I wish I had a uniform.”

“We’ll get you something good to wear.” Austin felt a pang of his conscience. “We have to ask your mother first, though.”

“She’ll say yes,” Richard said with all the confidence of a twelve-year-old.

“We’ll see. Here we are. You can help me pick out something.”

When they went inside they found two young women running the store. One wore a nametag that said Andrea and was obviously an employee. She was blonde and smartly dressed. Austin wasn’t sure if the other one—a petite brunette in jeans and a blouse—was another employee or just a friend.

Andrea came to greet them, but when she found out they were after engagement rings, she waved the other woman over. “Rose is the expert on rings.”

“I’m looking for something really special.”

“Do you have any ideas about what you want?” Rose came closer. She was a petite woman with dark hair and a sweet smile.

Austin shrugged helplessly. If she’d asked him a question about rifles or explosives or high-tech tracking equipment, he’d be her man, but rings?

He knew nothing about them.

“What’s your fiancée like?” she asked when he hesitated.

“She’s beautiful,” Austin said automatically. “And smart, too. Really smart. She’s fearless—she’ll do anything. Not afraid to get her hands dirty, you know what I mean?”

Rose was favoring him with an indulgent look. “Tell me what kind of clothes she wears.”

Clothes? Austin thought a moment. “When she came to Chance Creek she was wearing a really fancy dress—really classy, you know? Designer label, that kind of thing. But now she’s comfortable in jeans and cowboy boots.”

Rose nodded and searched through the cases of rings. “Okay—how about something like this?” She handed Austin one set with a stunning oval sapphire surrounded by diamonds. “The band is platinum, which is very popular these days.”

Even Richard was fascinated by the ring. “A pirate would steal that in a minute,” he said.

“You’re right,” Austin said. It recalled to his mind the dress Ella had worn the day he met her—the light blue gown that had made her look almost like royalty. He handed the ring back to Rose. “I’ll take it.”

She held it a moment and her gaze softened, as if she was looking at something far away. She smiled. “Good. It’s the right one for you.”

Andrea laughed and came to take the ring from Rose’s hands. “You’d better buy it then. Rose knows what she’s talking about—she can always read people’s rings.”

“You mean she can tell the future from them?” Richard asked.

“Just about,” Andrea said, leading the way to the cash register.

“You’re joking, right?” Austin said to Rose.

She shrugged and moved away, tidying the case up and locking it, but when Austin reached the cash register Andrea said in a low voice, “It’s no joke; you can’t believe how accurate she is. She can tell just by holding a ring whether or not the couple will make it. You just got a cosmic thumbs-up!”

Austin wasn’t sure he believed in superstitious nonsense like that, but as they walked out to the truck he figured he could use a cosmic thumbs-up.

Now he needed to take Richard home and face off with Heather.

They found her at home—a modest cottage on the west side of town. When Richard pushed open the door, Heather bustled out of the kitchen with her hands on her hips.

“I told you to clean up your lunch dishes before you head off to play. I came home and found the milk out on the counter. You know we can’t afford to waste food like that.”

“Sorry, Mom,” Richard mumbled. “Dad’s here.”

Heather stopped short when she spotted him. “Austin, what are you doing here? Richard, don’t tell me you rode your bike over there again.”

“I’m glad he did,” Austin said. “It gave us a chance to spend some time together.”

“That’s just what I don’t want.”

“Listen, can we talk? Outside, maybe?” He indicated Richard with raised eyebrows, hoping she got the hint.

“Fine. Richard, go clean up your mess.”

“Okay.” The boy let out a long-suffering sigh. “Bye, Dad.”

“Bye, Richard. I’ll see you soon.”

“No, you won’t see him soon,” Heather said when she shut the door behind her and they stood facing each other on the stoop. “Why can’t you get it in your head that you’re not wanted here?”

“Richard wants me.”

“That doesn’t count!”

“It should. Heather, come on. What’s this all about—you didn’t used to be so irrational.”

She bristled visibly. “I’m not irrational! You’ve just put me in an awful position. I wish you could see that.”

“You’re the one who put me in an awful position.” Austin was losing patience fast. “You put me in the position of neglecting my son for twelve years! That has to stop. Now I’m getting married again—”

“Did you lose the last one already?” Heather asked in disbelief.

“No, I didn’t lose the last one.” Austin took a calming breath. “I’m marrying Ella again since our friends and family didn’t attend our first wedding. Richard knows about the ceremony and he asked if he could be my best man. I’d like to tell him yes.”

Heather merely stared at him, then turned away and crossed her arms over her chest. She shook her head.

“Is that a no?”

“That’s a I don’t know what the hell to do now.”

Austin studied her and came to the conclusion she wasn’t so much angry as at her wit’s end. “Why are you making this so difficult? Look at you guys—you’re struggling to make ends meet. You have to leave Richard alone while you work. Why don’t you let me help?”

She glanced over her shoulder at him and he saw tears in her eyes. “Austin, promise me that whatever happens next, you know that I would never deliberately try to hurt you. I did care about you, you know. I really did.” She reached for the door, as if preparing to escape back into the house.

Her words baffled Austin. “Is that a yes or a no on the best man thing?”

She sighed, still turned away. “That’s a yes. Just… whatever happens… just be there for Richard when he needs it, okay?”

She made it inside and slammed the door shut before Austin could ask her any more questions. Her words haunted him all the way back to the ranch. Whatever happens? What did she expect to happen?

Was she sick? Was something else horribly wrong?

Austin nearly stopped the truck and turned it around, but he decided that Heather would fill him in when she was good and ready. She’d allowed Richard to be his best man. That was a start.

And it wouldn’t be the end if he could help it.

Things were changing fast now that he’d decided to embrace life. He couldn’t wait to propose to Ella—to propose the right way this time, with the intention of spending the rest of his life with her.

But there was one more thing he had to do first.

Chapter 28

‡

AUSTIN LIFTED HIS hand and knocked on the black-painted door of the tidy red brick house. After their plane landed in Baltimore, he and Ella had driven in a rental car to this suburb and found the address of Ben Donovan’s parents, Carol and Dan. Beside him, Ella looked nervous. She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her light jacket, then removed them again.

The door swung open and a middle-aged man looked out. There was more gray than black in his hair and his ruddy skin gave the impression of a lot of time spent outdoors, but he was neat in his appearance and welcoming.

“Austin Hall?” he said.

Austin nodded. “Dan Donovan?”

“That’s me. Come on in.” He ushered them into a carpeted hallway and took Ella’s jacket, then led the way into a formal living room. “This is my wife, Carol.” Carol, a petite woman in a flowered skirt, rose to shake his hand.

“Thank you both for taking the time to see me. I wish I’d come sooner.”

“We wish you had, too. Ben spoke highly of you.”

Austin introduced Ella and they all sat down. “I promised Ben I’d come to see you if anything ever happened to him. I’m… very sorry it’s taken me so long. It’s just I feel responsible for what happened. I am responsible.” He looked from one to the other, knowing he had to come perfectly clean. “I let Ben down. I didn’t get him out of there in time.”

He rested his elbows on his knees, his heart heavy with his confession. Carol fished a handkerchief out of her pocket, but she didn’t cry. Instead, she twisted it in her fingers, moving it rapidly from hand to hand.

“Chase Edgars came by right after he got home.” Dan’s words hit Austin hard. Edgars had the balls to face them, but he hadn’t. “He told us what happened and from what we understand there was nothing either of you could have done.”

Austin reared back. “Of course there was nothing Edgars could do—he was wounded, too. I had to carry him out of there.”

“And yet he blames himself as much as you do,” Dan said quietly. “And it’s breaking our hearts all over again to see two young men so torn up about the fact they couldn’t save our Ben.”

“We can see who you are—what kind of men you both are,” Carol spoke up suddenly. “We see how hard you must have tried. There’s no doubt in our minds that if there was anything you or Chase could have done, you would have done it. Ben spoke of you often, you know—almost as much as he talked about himself. More, even. We know every step of your careers from your first days in boot camp until the day of Ben’s death.” She took a breath. Went on. “I think of you and Chase as my other sons, and ever since I’ve lost Ben it’s like I’ve lost you too, but it’s worse. Ben’s death was quick. The two of you—you’re dying by degrees. My son wouldn’t have wanted that. How could you have served beside him so long and not realize that?”

Austin couldn’t keep up. He knew Donovan talked about him and Edgars. He’d done the same thing, telling his mother about his friends’ lives, too. It had never occurred to him that this narrative might have snared her into feeling a connection with them, but now he realized how blind he was. His mother had always asked after Edgars and Donovan in her e-mails, texts and calls. What he’d chalked up to politeness must have been real interest. He and Edgars were certainly real to Carol.

“I’m… sorry.” He’d already said that. He didn’t know what else to say, though. He hadn’t expected sympathy from Carol and Dan. He’d expected anger because he was still alive while their son wasn’t. “Ben asked me years ago if anything ever happened to him to come here and remind you how much he believed in serving his country.”

Carol and Dan exchanged a look. “We know that,” Dan said gently. “Do you know that?”

The ache in Austin’s throat grew more acute. “I… yes,” he forced himself to say, but the truth was he’d lost sight of it. He saw that now. He’d heard the words during his entire time in the military, and he’d said them himself a thousand times. He’d meant it, too. But as soon as it became real—as soon as Ben’s life became the sacrifice—that belief had gone all to hell, at least as far as his friend was concerned. He’d felt like the sacrifice was too big, if not for Ben, then at least for himself, for Edgars and for Ben’s family.

Tears blinded him suddenly and Austin panicked. He couldn’t do this—show his emotions this way.

“It’s all right,” Dan said, and he knew what the man meant to say; that if he was going to shed tears this was the place he could do it, but Austin’s training went too deep. Men didn’t cry. Soldiers especially did not cry.

When he scraped a hand across his face, however, it came away wet. Jesus. He was making an ass out of himself. He moved to stand, but Carol’s calm voice held him in place.

“I remember the day you three graduated from boot camp. I took your photograph and I remember thinking that out of three of you, it was likely one of you might not make it through the coming years. I prayed it wasn’t my son. Then I prayed it wouldn’t be any of you, either. Then I realized that no matter who I prayed for, some woman’s child would be hurt, or go missing, or be killed. It about tore my heart out that day.

“But I realized, too, you could all stay home and one of you could be in a car accident. One of you could take ill. There’s no certainty in this world. There’s only this moment. This moment right now.” She slapped a hand on the coffee table and made them all jump. “That’s what I want you to remember, Austin. You have this moment. You have these people here.” She waved a hand at all of them. “You have this chance to live, love and do what you want to do. Don’t look back except at the happy times. Don’t look forward except to plan for great things. Just stay here, right here.”

“I miss him so much,” Austin blurted out and dug his fingers into his thighs. Fuck—he was losing it.

“I know. I know,” Carol said. She leaned forward and took one of his hands. “I miss him so much, too.”

How long they stayed like that, Austin didn’t know. But Carol’s strength traveled through him, and Dan’s and Ella’s quiet presence got him through those next few moments. In them, he felt something click softly back into place. Was it his heart? His capacity to feel?

His capacity to live?

They were quiet on the drive back to the airport, Ella at the wheel this time. When they pulled into the rental car return lot, she parked the car, shut off the engine and turned to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He had turned a corner this afternoon. He had healing to do—lots of it—but he felt better than he had in a long time. “After the ceremony, though, there’s one more thing I need to do. Go see Edgars. It’s been too long.”

Ella smiled. “I thought so, too.”

Chapter 29

‡

THE NEXT DAY there were twenty messages from Marianne and five from Anthony, as well. In Ella’s present good mood she figured she could be magnanimous and listen to a few of them. She played a few of Marianne’s, ignoring the ones from her ex-fiancé. As usual, Marianne begged her to get in touch and asked her if she’d read the script she’d sent. On a whim, Ella dialed her work number. It had been so long since they’d actually talked.

“Finally! Do you know how many calls I’ve made to you? Have you checked your messages at all? It’s been weeks and weeks!” Marianne’s voice carried through the phone and into the stillness of the bedroom.

“I know, I’m sorry. I needed time to work things out.”

“Where are you? My phone’s been ringing off the hook. Everyone is looking for you—especially Anthony!”

“I don’t want to talk about Anthony right now. In fact, this will have to be a quick call. I just wanted to tell you that I’m all right.”

“Have you seen the press? You’re one of the lead stories—you’re a phenomenon these days! Everyone wants to know where you are!”

“I’m sick of the press. I don’t care what people are saying. I’m all right, Marianne. That’s all you need to know.”

Marianne sobered. “You won’t even tell me where you’re at? Are you kidding?”

“You said Anthony’s been bugging you. If I tell you where I am, you’ll have to lie to him.”

“I lie for a living!” Ella could picture her friend in her elegant office. She’d be dressed in a suit that was both powerful and sexy, her stiletto heels sharp enough to be lethal weapons.

“I’m glad you got promoted.”

“But probably pissed, too, seeing as how it’s Anthony who made it possible.” Marianne paused. “I don’t blame you.”

“What else is new?” Talking to Marianne had never been so awkward before. It made her sad. She didn’t know if their friendship would weather this particular storm and Marianne had been such a constant in her life for so long.

“Scripts! Piles of them. That’s what’s new. Please tell me you read the one I sent.”

“No. Sorry.”

“Why not? Ella, it’s perfect for you!”

“I don’t intend to go back to acting.”

A long silence ensued. “What the hell are you talking about? Of course you’ll come back. You’re an actress.”

“I’m also married.”

“Married!” Marianne shrieked painfully in her ear. “Married to whom?”

“To a man… I met.” Ella didn’t want to tell Marianne the truth, but she didn’t want to lie, either.

“What man?”

“His name is Austin.”

“Austin? Austin. I remember an Austin.” There was a long pause during which Ella held her breath. There was no way Marianne would make the connec—

“The man from the Wife Wanted ad?” Marianne shrieked.

Damn it, she should have known better than to say anything. Remembering names and circumstances was Marianne’s strong suit.

“Uh… yeah.”

“Are you shitting me? You married him? Like, legally married him? So what—you’re living on a ranch now? In Montana?”

“Yes, that’s about the size of it.”

“Well, fuck!” Ella winced. Marianne could be crude—it was part of her charm. And now she’d be pacing her office, figuring out what to do next. “Okay, we can work with this. Just leave the cowboy on the ranch while I get you on some more interviews. Better yet, bring him along. It’ll be a big reveal—the cowboy and the movie star! It’ll be great.”

“I’m not going on any more interviews. Remember the last one? Anyway, I promised him I’d stay on the ranch until April.”

Marianne pounced on this new detail. “Why April?”

Shoot. She hadn’t meant to give Marianne a single hint about their unusual arrangement. “We’ve made a commitment to our relationship. We’re going to focus on our ranch and our family for now.” That much was true, at least.

“Your family? What do you mean by family?”

“I mean we’re trying to have a child.”

“You can’t have a child! The part in the script I sent you does not call for a pregnant woman!”

Ella was thankful a thousand miles separated them—Marianne sounded apoplectic. “It’s too late. We’ve already been trying.”

Marianne’s voice changed, a tactic Ella recognized. Marianne was trying to trip her up. “So the cowboy—he’s good in the sack?”

They’d always talked to each other this way, sharing way too much information like women often did, but this time Marianne’s question rubbed her wrong. Ella knew Marianne would use what she said to bolster her case. She was probably penning headlines as they spoke—figuring out how best to spin this new development to the celebrity blogs.

“He’s pretty special.”

Marianne sighed and some of the life seemed to go out of her. “Well, I’m happy for you, but that doesn’t mean you should throw your career away.”

“I’m done with Hollywood, Marianne.”

“Oh, no you’re not.” Her friend’s tone was sharp. “I can tell you right now, you are definitely not done with Hollywood. Give me your address. I’m going to courier you a hard copy of this script; you won’t want to read it all on that phone of yours. You’ll change your tune then.”

“I don’t want to change my tune…”

“Address!”

“It’s a secret. I want to be left alone.”

“I know his name, Ella. I can find that Wife Wanted ad again, and I can hunt down his damn address if I need to. It’s just a matter of time.”

Ella sighed. It was true—she’d already blown it and she knew darn well Marianne would hunt her down if she didn’t cough up her address now. “Fine. You can send the script, but that’s it. If I don’t like it, I don’t want to hear about any more.”

Marianne gave a little grunt of exasperation. “Fine. One script. But I’ll guarantee you you’ll be back in my office within the month.”

*    *    *

THE FOLLOWING DAY, Mason whistled when Austin showed him the ring he’d bought for Ella. They stood in the stable, where Mason was rubbing down a sorrel mare after taking her out for a ride. “You got a romantic proposal to go along with that?”

“Not really. Think I need to do something special? After all, we’re already married.”

Mason shot him an exasperated look. “Stop going through the motions. Unless you plan to keep marrying Ella, this is the last time you’ll ever propose to a woman, right? Do it up!”

He had a point, Austin thought. He never wanted to propose to another woman. He wanted this marriage to last. Shouldn’t he make that clear by the way he proposed to Ella?

“So what do I do?”

“Hell if I know.”

It was Austin’s turn to be exasperated. “What good are you?”

“Regan says I’m real good at a lot of things.” Mason ducked when Austin took a swing at him and chuckled. “That’s more like it. Welcome home, bro.”

Austin rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he walked away. He knew what Mason meant—his personality had changed after Donovan’s death and even he hadn’t liked who he’d become. He felt like since meeting Ella he’d been peeling those hardened layers back one by one to reveal the real Austin—the man who cared about the present moment and the people around him. Since his meeting with Reverend Halpern and then Donovan’s parents, he’d felt more of the layers fall away. He was coming back to life.

He liked it.

He did want to surprise Ella with a romantic proposal, too, but his options were limited by the fact that she never left the ranch. He couldn’t take her to a fancy restaurant, or some other romantic location. When he finally went to find Regan and told her of his problem, she had an idea.

“It’s totally crazy,” she warned him. “I don’t know if she’ll love it or hate it.”

“Lay it on me.”

“Remember how Richard dragged her through the obstacle course the other day? He ran her ragged, but she had fun from what I could tell. How about challenging her to a race?”

“You want me to propose while I kick her ass on the obstacle course?”

“No, dummy. Lose to her. And then give her a prize—the ring! Then wine her and dine her, of course.”

“That’s romantic?”

“Trust me—that obstacle course is more romantic than you think.” She went away with a smile on her face that spoke of secret knowledge on just this topic. Austin wondered what she and Mason had gotten up to before he came home.

Running the obstacle course was something he could easily do. Losing to an absolute beginner might prove to be somewhat harder.

Chapter 30

‡

MARIANNE’S PACKAGE ARRIVED via a courier company a day or two later, and while Ella dreaded opening it, she found herself curious about the script inside. Was it as good as Marianne had said? Late in the afternoon, with dinner cooking in the oven and Austin still hard at work with Mason, she brought the package into the bunkhouse’s bedroom and opened it. Settling on the bed, she began to read, intending to return to the kitchen to make a salad in a few moments. Now that the men had tiled the kitchen floor, the room was usable and they could cook for themselves. Milo heaved himself up on the bed next to her and nuzzled her hand until she began to scratch him absently behind his ear.

Fifteen minutes later, Ella rolled over onto her back on the bed and held the script over her, too engrossed in the story to sit up properly or to remember to pet the dog still pressed against her side. It was one of the best she’d ever read, and the part Marianne had marked for her was the kind of part she’d always dreamed of playing. A smart, sharp, modern woman facing gritty real-life problems as her community—and family—fell apart around her. It was a species of disaster movie, but not the usual kind of Hollywood flick where the climate changes overnight or super-earthquakes tear apart the fabric of the earth’s crust. Instead it was a thinking-man’s vision of how things might change if the resources most people relied on got scarce to the point that they were out of reach of middle-class America.

The movie took place some years in the future, and centered on a couple in their late twenties who were planning their wedding. Laura Holden was a high school English teacher who wanted the same kind of ceremony and reception her deceased mother had thirty years before, but her timing couldn’t have been worse. A disastrous few growing seasons and an economic recession had fueled shortages of all kinds of basic goods. At first Laura thought she could weather the difficulties, but as food prices shoot up, her catering bill rockets right out of reach. As soon as she scaled back on the food she’d planned to serve at the wedding, she learned that cut flowers from South America were no longer being imported to the United States. Laura found a solution to each glitch in her wedding plans, but as her frustration grew, the story revealed that the problems were much more systemic than Laura had first though. It also became clear that Laura was using her wedding woes to hide from a truth too frightening to face—that her world would never be the same again.

Just how bad was it? Laura’s husband-to-be, Walter Collins, found out. When he lost his job as a financial manager, then as a bookkeeper for a local manufacturing plant and finally a third job at a grocery store, Walter realized the future would be much grimmer than he ever imagined. As Laura struggled to hold her wedding plans together, Walter began to draw up plans of his own—to turn their suburban quarter acre into a mini-farm. He suspected the food they grew might be the only thing that would save them from starvation when large-scale migrations, rising crime and a failure of the electronic grid threatened to change their way of life forever.

What Ella liked most about the script was how the changes happened incrementally. Life deteriorated around the characters as they tried to maintain the status quo, but they adjusted, and that would allow the audience to adjust, too, until one last camera shot at the end of the movie brought it all into focus. When the wedding finally took place—drastically pared down from an extravagant party to a simple and moving ceremony that celebrated survival in the impossible times—the directions in the script told Ella that as the camera pulled out from the scene, the audience would get a broader view of the neighborhood the characters had come to live in—and would realize how much it had reverted to the traditions of a hundred and fifty years ago. Gardens filled every backyard. Clothes hung on every clothesline. Children—lacking televisions and gadgets—played outside. After a movie full of frightening incidents, it was a surprisingly homey scene, and while the question wasn’t asked outright, it was there all the same: were things really so bad?

When she finished the script, Ella had tears in her eyes. This—this was the part she was meant to play. Why, oh why hadn’t it come before now?

“Hey,” Austin said, coming into the room. “I wondered where you got to. Dinner smells good.”

“I’m just taking a break. It’ll be ready in a minute,” she said, scanning the last lines over again.

Austin sat down on the bed. “What’s that you’re reading?”

She stifled a sudden urge to hide it. “It’s a script,” she said reluctantly. “My agent, Marianne, sent it to me.”

“Your agent knows where you are? After we’ve worked so hard to keep it a secret?”

“In a way, she’s the one who sent me here. I mean… she sent me a link to your Wife Wanted ad as a joke, right before my last disastrous talk show appearance. She always does stuff like that to loosen me up. I didn’t see it until afterward, though. Then it seemed like a good idea to get in touch.”

“So she already knew where you went.”

“It would have been easy enough for her to find me. She asked if she could send me this script and I said yes. I didn’t think it would be interesting.”

“You seem interested in it.”

His tone told her that worried him. She knew why. Ella shoved the script away. “It’s pretty good.”

“Good enough to make you want to leave?”

“I promised you I’d stay, so I’ll stay.”

He looked at her for a long moment. “These last few weeks I thought you wanted to stay.”

“I did. I do,” she corrected herself. “It’s just—I didn’t know Hollywood would sympathize with me. I thought the tabloid machine would tear me to pieces over what happened between me and Anthony. That’s why I came here. Instead, I’m being offered the best parts ever. It’s ironic, isn’t it?”

“You could go back.”

She turned on him. “No, I can’t.” She took a deep breath. “I love you, Austin. I thought you knew that.”

He took her hand. Brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss against her palm. “I do. But I want you to be happy. I don’t want to keep you from something you love.”

She met his gaze. “It’s an interesting script. That’s all.”

“Think about it. Really think about it. Make the decision you want to make—not the one you think I need you to make, all right?”

“Okay,” she said softly. “Thank you.”

*    *    *

“YOU CAN’T TURN down a lead role in a fantastic film,” Camila said as she passed out food among the gathered women. They sat around the Hall’s large dining room table for the meeting Regan had orchestrated when Ella confessed that she couldn’t make up her mind what to do. Ella had felt like she could take her time coming to a decision, but Regan seemed to think she needed to settle things fast. Ella assumed she was worried what would happen with Heloise if Ella left the ranch before April, and she tried to assure Regan she wouldn’t let anything ruin their chances to inherit Crescent Hall, but Regan persisted and Ella finally agreed that a meeting with her friends was bound to help.

Camila tossed her long, wavy hair over her shoulder. “I left my whole family behind to follow my dream, and it’s turned out okay for me.”

Ella wasn’t sure that was strictly true. Camila obviously loved running the restaurant with Fila, but she often grew quiet in the middle of a boisterous good time with the others, and Ella had the feeling she was thinking about the family she left behind. From what she’d learned, Camila was one of many children in a proud Mexican-American family that valued culinary skills above all else. Ella knew from sampling Camila’s food many times now that the woman could cook, but apparently she’d stepped on some toes back in Texas when the patrons at her family’s restaurant preferred her cooking to that of her older brother’s. Ella thought it was sad that Camila’s family didn’t feel there was enough room for several fantastic cooks in their restaurant, and that Camila had felt the need to move a thousand miles away to fulfill her dream.

“That’s just it,” she said to Camila. “I’m not at all sure that acting is my dream, and if it isn’t, why would I disrupt everything?”

“How can being a star not be your dream?” Maya asked. The younger woman seemed shocked by the idea. “Most people would kill for the chance.”

“It’s funny how many people say that and how few people actually try,” Ella said wryly. “Look, it is glamorous at times and I did enjoy aspects of the work, but a lot of the time it isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. It’s a lot of waiting around, memorizing lines, dodging the producer so he doesn’t feel you up, being talked about by the director as if you aren’t even there. It’s great, but… I don’t know.”

“What does Austin say?” Stella asked.

“He said I need to make up my own mind.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

“In theory, yes. But in reality it means that I have to figure out what to do all on my own.”

The other women chuckled sympathetically. Regan said, “How about this. Don’t think at all—just answer my question immediately, okay?”

Ella nodded.

“Do you want to move to Hollywood for six to nine months?”

“No!”

Everyone pulled back at her vehemence. “Okay,” Regan said slowly. “Let’s talk about that for a minute. Why don’t you want to go back there?”

Ella swallowed. “For one thing, I don’t want to be talked about anymore. I don’t want to be followed around. I don’t want photos taken of me. I don’t want to see my face on the covers of tabloids. I don’t want to be analyzed to death. I don’t want to be public property.”

Stella whipped out a pad of paper and a pen from her purse and began to scribble. “Is there more?”

“I don’t like the people. If I had this conversation with a bunch of other actors, or other industry people, I’d find half of it quoted in the celebrity blogs the next day. You can’t trust anyone. No one really cares.”

“Keep going,” Stella said.

“I want to try something new—something brand new. I think I want to work with horses and kids. I want to help make someone’s life better, you know?”

“If you make the right movie, it could have that kind of impact,” Regan pointed out.

“I know, but that’s not what I mean. I want a connection with the person I help. I want it to be one on one.”

Regan nodded. “Got it.”

“Anything else?” Stella said.

“I guess… I want to stay here,” Ella said softly. “I want to get to know all of you better. I want to be a part of what Austin and Mason and Regan are building here, and I want to be part of the community, too. I want to know how all of your stories end.”

Stella looked up. “Just so you know, I don’t plan on dying any time soon.”

“You know what I mean.” Ella laughed. “I like it here. I really do. I like myself here.”

Regan looked a little misty-eyed. “I’m glad you like it here. I’d miss you a lot if you left.”

“I think you’ve forgotten something—something important,” Stella said, her pen poised over the paper.

Ella nodded. “I have. The most important thing.” She looked around the table at her friends, and knew for sure that they were her friends and that she could tell them anything. “I love Austin. I love him. I don’t know why I love him, but I do. I want to watch him transform this ranch into a working operation and I want to help him do it. I want his children.” Now she was misty-eyed. “I don’t want to go.”

Regan leaned forward. “Then don’t! If you love Austin, you have to stay.” She looked triumphant, as if her words had decided things.

Stella sat back in her chair and held up the paper as if about to give them a lecture. “Hollywood is bad, Chance Creek is good and you love Austin. I think that sums it up, right?”

Ella laughed. “I guess so. I thought I was a little more complicated than that, though.”

“Simple is good,” Camila said to Ella’s surprise. Was that envy she saw in Camila’s expression? “When you know what you really want, it’s easy to go and get it. If what you want is this ranch and this man, then grab on tight and don’t let go.”

And that, Ella thought, was very good advice indeed.

There was only one problem. When she’d told Austin she loved him, he hadn’t said it back.

Chapter 31

‡

WHY HAD HE told Ella to make up her own mind about whether to stay in Chance Creek or accept the part in the movie she’d been offered? At the very least Austin should have showered her with good reasons for not leaving, but instead he’d chosen to be gentlemanly and let her decide for herself.

He was an idiot.

But he was an idiot with a plan. Austin had thought about Regan’s suggestion about the obstacle course and decided she was right; he could do something with that. He’d zipped into town for all the fixings he needed—champagne and a picnic basket packed full of luxury items from the best grocery store in town, supplemented with some gourmet sandwiches from his favorite deli. He hid everything in the woods in the basket and an ice chest and then went to lure Ella to the obstacle course.

He should probably wait for her to tell him what her decision was before he popped the question, but he’d decided that was backwards. She had to know exactly where she stood with him. She had to know he wanted her to be his wife for real. How could she make the best decision without that knowledge?

He found Ella exiting the Hall’s kitchen door after her visitors’ vehicles pulled out of the driveway. “You got a minute?” he called out, crossing the ground between them in long strides.

“Sure.” She moved forward to meet him happily and it warmed his heart to see her smile. She looked peaceful somehow. At ease. Austin stopped in his tracks. Had she made her decision already?

Had she decided to leave?

Ella stopped, too. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” If she’d decided to leave, he’d change her mind. “Come on, I want to show you something.”

“Okay. Mind if we talk while we walk? I’ve got something I’d like to tell you.”

Austin picked up his pace. “Let’s talk afterward. This can’t wait.”

“Oh, okay.” She looked up at him expectantly. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see in a minute.” Damn, it was harder than he had expected to get her to the course before she spilled her guts about her decision, or he spilled his guts about what he had planned. If he walked any faster, he’d have to take her hand and drag her over the grass, but if he didn’t speed things up, she might ask too many questions, or blurt out the fact she wanted to leave. That would ruin everything.

Austin began to jog. After a startled moment, Ella jogged too, catching up with him. “Are we going to the obstacle course?”

He put on a burst of speed. A second later, she was dashing along beside him. “Austin!”

“Here we are,” he said with a flourish, coming to a stop by the first set of monkey bars.

“What is going on?” At least she was laughing, although she probably thought he’d lost his mind.

“We’re going to race.”

“Race? Are you kidding?”

“I’m not kidding. There’s a prize at the end for the winner. It’s worth a lot, so you’d better go for it.”

“I can’t… Austin, you know I can’t do half the obstacles!”

“I’ll help.”

“But…” She looked at him helplessly. “Okay.”

“Really?” He’d expected her to argue.

“If you say we should race, then we’ll race.”

“Okay, then.” He breathed a sigh of relief and decided not to question her acquiescence. He tugged her into position in front of one of the sets of monkey bars and took his own place in front of the other one. “On your mark, get set, go!”

*    *    *

EQUINE THERAPY. ONCE more she was practicing her own brand of equine therapy in which she was the horse. This time Austin was the client who needed to regain trust and confidence.

Although the man exuded confidence. Especially when he whipped across the monkey bars in two seconds flat, jumped down and went up and over the wall like an Olympic athlete leaping a hurdle.

Just like Richard, he popped back around the wall as she jumped down from her own set of monkey bars, crouched in the dirt and laced his fingers together to lift her up. Unlike Richard, he knew exactly what he was doing. He rose to his feet, boosted her with a manly hand on her ass that had her more flustered than the wall itself did, and managed to run around and catch her on her ungainly way down the other side.

He held her hand as they trotted to the next obstacle, then let go when they had to run the tire course, putting a foot down in the center of each tire like football players did to practice agility. Then they were down in the dirt crawling under the barbed wire.

“You’re doing great,” Austin called, and Ella realized she was. Last time when she’d done this with Richard she’d gotten the hang of army crawling about halfway through. This time she went all out, conscious that about an acre of dirt was headed under her waistband as she did so. She actually beat Austin out from under the wire by a half-second.

“Yeah! That’s how you do it!”

Had his father cheered him on like this when Austin had been little, Ella wondered as they each ran to grab a rope swing over a gully. Apparently Austin hit it just wrong because he didn’t make it across the first time. Was he too busy watching her to see what he was doing? If so, she’d take advantage of that. She traversed the next few obstacles quickly, no longer looking over her shoulder to check his progress, and when she got to the log balance beams she was so intent on winning she didn’t slow down to ask for help. Instead, she ran full tilt at the inclined log leading up to the beam and just had time to notice that someone had tied loops of thick rope around it to provide more footholds than had previously been there.

Now she slowed down and began to very carefully step down the length of the log. It was wide enough that she shouldn’t have had any problem making her way along it, but it was also high enough to make her very nervous about falling down. She kept her focus straight ahead and held her breath nearly the whole way until finally she could slip and skid down the far log and jump to the ground.

“That was amazing.”

Ella nearly jumped out of her skin to find Austin so close. At her startled look he said, “I spotted you. We always do that for people who are new to the course—this is the most dangerous obstacle.”

He drew closer and Ella saw the admiration in his eyes. “I’ve only seen a handful of women do the course—girls, really, back in our teenage years—and I’ve never seen anyone so graceful on the beam.”

Ella soaked up the compliment readily. And the kiss he followed it up with. Kissing Austin was something she’d never get tired of, that was for sure.

“Come on, you still have a few obstacles to go.”

“And you’d better get back there and do the balance beam, soldier.”

He grinned. “I will. Good luck on the salmon ladder.”

“Fuck.” Whoops. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but she’d forgotten about the stupid salmon ladder. Thirty pull-ups would take forever in her case. She’d better make use of the time he’d spend retracing his steps to do the balance beam. “See you at the finish line.”

Austin was chuckling as he moved away. Ella dashed to the salmon ladder, put her metal bar in position on the first set of rungs and started her pull-ups, doing a few at a time. At ten, her arms burned. At thirteen, she thought she would die. She began to do one at a time, jumping down to pace in a circle in between. Austin rejoined her when she hit seventeen. He jumped up to grab his bar and began to pop up the salmon ladder in an incredibly sexy, incredibly aggravating way. If she didn’t want to lose, she’d have to distract him—fast.

“Go, Air Force!” she yelled.

“What?” Austin dropped off the ladder, mid-pop. He turned on her, his hands on his hips. “What did you just say?”

Ella did another pull-up. And another one. “Didn’t I tell you I love fighter pilots?”

“Like hell you do!” Austin confronted her. Ella jumped up and did another pull-up.

“They’re so much smarter than all the other servicemen.”

Austin scoffed. “Pilots are idiots. All that flying scrambles their brains.”

Ella did a pull-up. “They’ve got hot butts. And abs.”

“Hotter than this?” Austin tore off his shirt and flexed his muscles. Ella, in the middle of another pull-up, didn’t quite make it up. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

“But they are cute. Even you have to admit that.”

Austin snorted. “I’d sooner jump out of a plane without a parachute.” He headed back over to the salmon ladder and started over. The play of his muscles under his skin was delicious, but Ella forced herself to do another pull-up. That was twenty-two. Eight more to go. Meanwhile, Austin was popping up the salmon ladder like there was nothing to it.

“Go, Navy!”

He jumped down again. Faced her. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

She did another pull-up. Or almost did. It was close enough. She knew her face had to be bright red with the exertion. A bead of sweat was trickling down between her shoulder blades. Attractive. Real attractive. “Come on, everyone loves seamen.” She cracked herself up with her own silly joke, or maybe it was the exertion which had made her light-headed. Either way, her grip slipped and she fell off the bar, collapsing into a heap on the ground.

Austin shook his head at her. “What is wrong with you?”

She flopped onto her back. “Too many pull-ups.”

“You’ve got to be nearly to twenty by now.”

She sat up and glared at him. “Twenty? I’m past that! Richard said it was thirty!”

Austin stretched out a hand and pulled her to her feet. “It’s thirty for boys. Twenty for women. Now stand here and see how it’s done.” He let go of her hand, returned the bar on his set to its starting position and grabbed hold of it, popping his way up from one level to the next. “It’s all upper body strength and control,” he called down. “You see, you—”

Ella didn’t stay to listen. She dashed on to the next obstacle.

Chapter 32

‡

AUSTIN JUMPED DOWN from the salmon ladder when he’d completed it to find he’d been talking to himself. Ella was nowhere to be seen. Sneaky woman. He trotted off to find her and put on speed when he realized how far she’d gotten ahead of him. He made short work of the next obstacles and caught up with her as she reached the final stretch to the finish line. Ella looked to be going for broke, running as fast as she could, and Austin reminded himself that he wanted her to win, but he wanted to be there for the win, too, so he picked up his pace again.

“Hi!” he said when he caught up.

Ella shrieked, veered off the path and would have smacked straight into a tree if he hadn’t yanked her away at the last second. They both nearly overbalanced but he caught and steadied her until she’d regained her feet. She glared at him, breathing hard. “If you’re going to keep cheating, I’m not running this race!”

“I didn’t cheat—I just said hello.”

“You snuck up on me!”

“I promise I won’t sneak anymore.”

She started to jog again and he followed suit. “Stay where I can see you,” she demanded when he lagged a little behind her again.

“I’m right here.” He had to let her win, after all.

She stopped in her tracks. “All of you. I want to see all of you, or I’m not going a step farther!”

She was cute when she was mad. Sexy, too. He could forget the race and take her right here… No, he had to keep going. She had to win so he could give her her prize. But if she wanted to see all of him, he’d be happy to oblige.

He began to strip.

“What are you doing?” Her voice lifted into a squeak and Austin laughed at the look of consternation on her face.

“I’m letting you see all of me.” He unzipped his pants and dropped them to the ground, his boxers with them.

“Oh, for heaven’s sakes.” Ella pivoted and began to run again. Austin made short work of undressing and soon caught up. Running naked was… well… freeing. And a little strange. He belatedly hoped Richard wouldn’t choose today to show up as he passed Ella, turned around and kept running backward.

Ella bit her lip and began to laugh at the sight of him. “That is not helping!”

“I’m trying to give you encouragement.”

She elbowed him aside and raced on. Austin had to turn right side around to catch up again. “I’d like to see all of you, too, you know. Then it would be a fair race.”

She stopped dead. “You’re right.”

What? He was right? He stared blankly as Ella whipped her shirt over her head, tossed her bra aside and stripped off her pants. “Bye, bye!” She sprinted away.

What the hell just happened? Austin quickly recovered. If he didn’t start running, she’d win this race. Which was exactly what was supposed to happen, but…

In another instant he’d caught up enough to see her pretty derriere bouncing as she raced down the path. The finish line was all too close. His groin tightened as he envisioned the end of the race, handing her the ring and sealing the bargain with a kiss. And then…

He didn’t notice Ella had stopped again until he ran into her. “Whoa—what’s wrong?”

“I want you,” she declared determinedly, turning around in his arms. She placed a hand on his chest. “I made up my mind today that I want you, Austin. I don’t want Hollywood. I don’t want to be a star. I don’t want anything else. I know you don’t love me the way I love you, but—”

“I love you,” he said.

She blinked. “You do?”

“Absolutely.”

“Are you sure?

“Let me show you how sure I am.”

He tugged her closer, so glad every inch of her skin was available for him to touch. “I love you. Forever and ever.” His kiss was deep, searching, scorching hot and she answered it with equal fervor. He slid his hands down her back, cupped her ass, pulled her tight against him and hoped his hardness resting against her belly made it clear exactly what he wanted to do next. He looked around for somewhere to lay her down and spotted the balance beam through the trees.

“Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“You said you wondered what it would be like to do it on one of the obstacles. Let’s give it a try.”

Her eyes widened, but she didn’t hang back, until she realized which one he had in mind. “Up there? No way!”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I don’t trust myself.”

“I’ll hold on, you’ll do all the work.” He cut off her protests with another searing kiss, and led her to the inclined log that gave them access to the high beam. He made his way up it, then extended a hand back down to her.

“This won’t work.” But she took his hand and let him tug her up to join him, holding tight to him to keep her balance.

“Hang on a minute.” He let go of her hand, sat down on the wide log and slowly leaned back until he lay along the length of it, lowering his arms to grip the log and hold himself in place.

Ella laughed, wobbling where she stood. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I’m not kidding.” He wasn’t, either. He was rock hard and ready for her. He’d never attempted such acrobatic sex, but he’d do it to make this occasion memorable. He never wanted her to doubt his love for her again.

“I’ll hurt you if I climb on top of you.”

“No, you won’t. Get on.”

“Austin.”

“Get on. That’s an order, soldier.”

“If you say so.” She knelt down carefully on the wide beam, then slowly stretched forward over his body until she, too, was fully extended. She had to wriggle into place, gripping his shoulders to pull herself forward on top of him. By the time she was in position she was laughing so hard her shoulders were heaving.

Austin raised his head and snagged a kiss from her.

That got her attention. “Do you really think we can do this?” she asked.

“I think we can do anything together. But you’d better hurry before my arms go numb.”

“Just what every woman wants to hear.” She wriggled some more, however, her breasts shifting over his chest in the most delicious way. Her fingers digging into his shoulders, she moved the final inches into position, until his hardness prodded against her core.

As she shifted backward, easing him into her, Austin had to stifle a groan.

Ella stilled. “Are you okay?”

“If I was anymore okay I’d be in heaven.”

“How does this feel?” She tilted her hips, pulled away from him a few inches and then slid back down.

“Amazing. Do it again.”

She did. Again and again, until her movements had revved both of them up enough they were breathing hard. She arched her back and brought her breasts in reach of Austin’s mouth, and then gasped when he suckled one, teasing her nipple into a hard peak. He licked and tugged until both were rosy from his attentions. Meanwhile, Ella lifted her hips, then slid down the length of him again and again. He’d never experienced such sweet torture as this. Forced to lie still and hold on for all he was worth, he was helpless against Ella’s sensual movements.

She drew things out, tilting her hips to slide him in and out of her, until both of them were struggling to hold back, then pausing until they caught their breath. Over and over she sped up, then slowed back down.

“Ella,” he said finally when he couldn’t take it anymore. She took pity on him, increasing her pace once again.

When some moments later Ella came, arching above him, Austin couldn’t hold back. His own release came swift and hard, leaving him bucking and grunting, struggling to cling to the log all the while. Their cries mingled until both of them were wrung dry. Then Ella lay down on top of him again, fighting to catch her breath.

“How do I get off of you?” she asked some minutes later.

“Very carefully.”

The maneuver wasn’t elegant, but they regained solid ground, laughing at the contortions the exercise put them through. Austin shook out his arms which had cramped from their strange position. “That was incredible.” He pulled her into an embrace and kissed her thoroughly to show his appreciation.

“It was.”

“Now we just have to finish this race.”

“Are you serious?”

He glanced around. She was right—the last thing he wanted to do was run to the finish line. He used his toe to draw a line in the dirt and shoved her gently across it. “You won.”

“I won?”

“Just a second.” He ran off to find their clothes, fished the jewelry box out of his pocket and returned with it concealed in his hand. Still naked, he dropped to one knee beside her.

Ella drew in a sharp breath. “Austin?”

“Ella Scales. Ella Hall. I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you, back when I was too damaged to even remember what love was. I didn’t treat you right at first. I didn’t think I deserved to live a happy life after the mistakes I made, but you convinced me otherwise. You gave me the hope that maybe there was more to my story. That maybe I could go on, even though I’d lost someone I cared about. The more time I spent with you, the more I loved you. The more I knew I had to try to be the man you deserved.” He hesitated. “I’m not that man yet. But I’m trying. I hope you can see that. Ella.” He opened the box and held it out to her. “Will you marry me? For good, this time?”

Tears shone in her eyes as she took the box and looked at the ring inside in wonderment. He stood up, drew off the placeholder ring she’d worn since their first ceremony and threaded the new, beautiful ring on.

“Will you?” he asked again.

She nodded, her lips parting before any words came out. “Yes,” she whispered, then said again more loudly, “Yes. Yes, I want that more than anything.” A tear slipped down her cheek and then another. She scrubbed them away. “Oh, Austin—”

He kissed away her words, her fears, any distance that remained between them, and knew that for now and forevermore he’d be the one to comfort her, to hold her, to protect her, to love her—for as long as they lived.

*    *    *

NEARLY TWO HOURS later they stumbled from the woods, dressed but disheveled, buzzing from the champagne and full on the gourmet snacks Austin had packed for them. They’d made love again—engaged love, as Ella put it, although Austin pointed out they were really already married—and took it slow this time. Austin had kissed every inch of her body as if he’d never seen it before—even if she was already his wife. Ella had a feeling he would never lose interest in the physical aspects of their relationship and that was fine with her—she loved sharing herself with him.

After a brief trip to the bunkhouse, they headed to the Hall to share their news with Mason and Regan. They held hands as they walked and bumped shoulders companionably, both of them lost in the glow that their bright prospects for the future brought them. When Mason poked his head out of the back door of the Hall and called out to them, it took Ella several moments to realize what he was saying.

“A limo just pulled up in the driveway. You expecting someone?”

“A limo?” Ella exchanged a bewildered look with Austin before understanding dawned on her. “Marianne. Or—” She didn’t put voice to her fears, and it turned out she didn’t have to. A moment later Hank strode around the building.

Ella rushed forward with a squeal of delight when she spotted her old friend and driver.

“Don’t you ever answer your phone?” he bellowed, but he held out his arms for her to run into. He squeezed her in a bear hug and whispered in her ear at the same time. “Anthony’s with me; he’ll be here any second. I locked him in the limo, but he’ll figure that out pretty quick. I tried to cover for you, honey, but he had a private investigator looking for you.”

“You drove him here?”

“From the airport, anyway. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right? When I heard what he was up to I figured you needed an inside man.”

She hugged him again. “You’re amazing.”

“If you’d answered your phone you could have cleared out before he got here.”

She pulled back in time to see Anthony round the corner of the house, his handsome face flushed with anger. “Ella! There you are.”

She stepped away from Hank. “What are you doing here, Anthony?”

Austin came to stand by her side, his silence ominous. Gone was the love that had shone from his eyes only seconds ago. Now he was steely impatience and barely suppressed anger. Mason stepped out of the Hall and made his way toward them, too.

Anthony looked out of place on the ranch, his city clothes almost effeminate beside Austin’s and Mason’s jeans, boots and T-shirts.

“I’ve come to save you from yourself. You’ve wasted a lot of my time and money. Have you had enough of playing cowgirl yet? Ready to come home?”

His sarcastic tone got her back up. “This is my home.” Austin, Mason and Hank closed ranks around her. Anthony’s gaze flicked from one to the next and he frowned.

“This run-down ranch? There aren’t even any cattle here.”

“There will be,” Austin said.

Anthony ignored him. He took a step closer and addressed his words to Ella alone. “Come on, Ella. I messed up and I know it. I’m sorry. Come back home. We’ll get the wedding back on track. We’ll be Hollywood’s favorite couple again.”

He sure had balls to come here and try this, Ella thought and shook her head in amazement. “What about Kaylee? Remember her? The woman carrying your child?”

“For God’s sake, she’s not carrying my child. She made that up. It’s someone else’s.” Anthony’s jaw tightened. “Kaylee’s a mess. I think she needs psychological help.”

“So you dumped her and came looking for me.” Her disgust was plain to hear. “Go home, Anthony.”

Anthony stared at her. “Marianne didn’t forward you the script, did she? That liar. She told me she did.”

“She’s not a liar. She sent me the script.”

The actor leaned forward. “Did you read it? It’s the role of a lifetime, Ella. You’d kill in it.”

“There’s a good role for you, too.”

“There is. So what do you say? Should we take the world by storm?”

Ella shook her head. “I can’t do that. I’m married already, Anthony.” She held up her ring, more grateful than she could say that it was a brand-new sapphire and diamond masterpiece, rather than the plain silver rings she’d bought as backup for her marriage to him. She reached out and took Austin’s hand. “This is Austin Hall. My husband.”

Anthony fell back a step. “No way. There hasn’t been time…”

“There’s been plenty of time.” Austin grinned, a slow, lazy grin that had Anthony bristling. Ella would have laughed if the circumstances weren’t so awful.

“We were married in church several weeks ago,” Ella said. “Soon we’ll renew our vows in front of our family and friends.”

Anthony clenched his hands into fists. “We’ll get the marriage annulled. You’ll forget this ever happened.”

She placed a hand on her abdomen. “No, I won’t forget it. I don’t want to, and even if I did, I can’t. Because I’m pregnant, Anthony. With Austin’s child.”

Chapter 33

‡

THE MINUTE THE taxi Mason called had fetched Anthony from the Hall’s driveway, Hank addressed Ella. “You sure about this cowboy? I’ve got a guy—I can do a background check.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Ella said, smiling. “By the way, Hank, this is Austin Hall, my husband. Austin, this is Hank Much, my driver and bodyguard.”

“Is it true?” Austin said, after shaking hands with the older man. “You’re pregnant?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I could be. I’ve been too afraid to ask anyone to fetch me a pregnancy test.”

Disappointment surged through him, followed by a wave of hope. She didn’t know, but she could be. He wanted to know for sure.

“Let’s go get one right now.”

“What about keeping me hidden?”

“You think Anthony will keep his mouth shut?” Hank said. “If he knows where you are, the whole world is going to know. That ship has sailed.”

Austin nodded at him. “Sounds about right. Glad to meet you, by the way. Thanks for trying to look out for Ella.”

“That’s my job,” Hank said. He turned to Mason, who had just rejoined them. “Maybe you could show me around the place while these lovebirds do their shopping.”

“Will do,” Mason said and led him away.

“Let’s go,” Austin said and took Ella’s hand. She hurried to keep up with him as he led her to his truck.

“I’m sorry,” she said when she was perched in the passenger seat. “I know you don’t want anyone prying into your affairs. I’m afraid Hank’s right—Anthony will talk about us.”

“My wife’s a world-famous actress. I guess I’ll have to deal with it.”

Ella kept quiet the rest of the short drive into town. Austin parked in front of the Stop-N-Shop and led her inside, prowling up and down the aisles until they found the pregnancy tests. He scanned them, scowling at the many choices, then grabbed one that promised accurate, easy-to-read results.

Up at the checkout counter, he slapped it down and handed the young cashier a couple of bills. She slid them an interested look from under her eyelashes as she rang them up and gave them change.

“Where’s your bathroom?” Austin asked.

*    *    *

“AUSTIN!” ELLA WAS mortified. There was no way she’d take a pregnancy test in a grocery store washroom.

“In back.” The cashier waved a hand. Austin took hold of Ella’s arm and ushered her there, ignoring her protests.

“No way. Take me home,” she hissed.

“I don’t want to wait that long. Do you?” He stopped in front of the washroom door, his need to know plain to see.

“I guess not.”

He ushered her inside and made as if to follow.

“Out!” She drew the line at peeing in front of the man. Austin protested, but in the end he withdrew and she shut and locked the door behind him. Alone, she fumbled with the box and the test stick inside. The instructions were simple enough. Pee and wait three minutes or so.

When she flushed the toilet and washed her hands, Austin pounded on the door.

“Let me in.”

“It takes a minute.”

He pounded again and this time she opened it, allowing him to shoulder his way inside. He was counting, and she realized he’d figured out how long they had to wait to read the test. He counted the three minutes and held out his hand. Ella passed him the test stick.

He took it, stared at it. Tossed it over his shoulder and swept her into an embrace.

“Positive. It’s positive.”

She clung to him as Austin kissed her neck, her jaw and then raised his head to possess her mouth with his. He kissed her until she moaned as she melted against him. Austin lifted her up, wrapped her legs around his waist, but when he moved to brace her against the wall, she pulled back. “Wait!”

He froze at her loud command. “What’s wrong?”

She spoke slowly, enunciating her words. “This is a grocery store washroom. A grocery store washroom. I will do many things with you. I will have sex in many places with you. But not here.”

Austin chuckled. “I see your point.”

She nestled into his arms, grateful to be there. “Take me home.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice.

Chapter 34

‡

WHEN AUSTIN SPOTTED the truck from the local news station parked out front of the Hall, his first instinct was to keep driving, but Ella told him it was better to confront them. “We’ll feed them the story we want them to print, so they don’t dig up the stories we don’t want them to find out about.”

She took the lead, answering all their questions and offering more information about her future plans than they really wanted to hear. When she launched into a detailed description of the day-to-day operations of an equine therapy business, the reporter and cameraman suddenly had somewhere else to be.

“More will come,” Ella told Austin afterward, “but we’ll make a plan. Pretty soon we’ll bore them to death with our healthy, happy, honest way of life.”

Austin was too excited about their news to care about the press. He wanted to take Ella to bed, company or no company. Luckily, Hank Much was something of a horse aficionado and he and Mason had hit it off immediately. When Mason took Hank out for a ride around the ranch after dinner, Austin and Ella slipped off to the bunkhouse to celebrate.

His child. His second child. Richard would never be displaced in his heart, of course, but this was special too. He’d get to be there right from the start. He’d go through the pregnancy with Ella. He’d watch her grow large and coach her through the birth. Then they’d raise the baby together.

And Ella would stay for good.

Unfortunately, Regan rapped on the bunkhouse door an hour later. “Austin, Ella? You’ve got more visitors up at the Hall.”

Austin made it to the door first, a sheet wrapped around him. “Is it Anthony again?” It had better not be, he thought, or he would have to smarten the man up at the end of his fists.

“No. It’s a man and a woman. Chase Edgars and Marianne Hollins. Apparently they met on the flight in and realized they were both going to the same place, so they shared a cab out here.”

“Marianne?” Ella pushed past him. She’d hastily donned yoga pants and a yellow cotton T-shirt. “Tell her I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Will do,” Regan said.

Ella and Austin dressed silently, each lost in their own thoughts, and made their way to the Hall as soon as they were able. Austin couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea that Edgars was here, but Chase was waiting for Austin on the back porch of the Hall. Ella followed Regan inside the kitchen to meet up with Marianne, leaving the two men alone.

“Hall.”

“Edgars.” Austin had planned to visit his old army buddy just as soon as the excitement of the vow renewal ceremony was over, but now that he saw him he was glad he wouldn’t have to wait. They shook hands, then Edgars pulled him into an awkward man-hug complete with slaps on the back. Austin waved him down into his seat and took one of his own.

“I like this place. I wish I had a house like this,” Edgars said.

“Are you still in Nashville?”

“You know it. That’s where my folks are at and that’s where I’ve been getting my physical therapy.” He patted his left arm with his right hand.

“Looks good,” Austin said.

“It is good. I’ll never quite have full rotation, mind you. My career in basketball is over. Baseball, too. I hike a lot these days.”

“Work?”

Edgars frowned. “A little of this, a little of that. Nashville isn’t exactly booming. I figure it’ll be back to school with me. Maybe I’ll learn web design or something like that.”

Austin flinched. That sounded brutal for a man used to action. “There’ll always be work for you here if you want.”

“Can you picture me a cowboy?” Edgars’ laugh rang out long and loud. The female voices buzzing in the kitchen died down for a minute, then increased in volume again.

“I can picture you a cowboy,” Austin said. “You’d pick up the trade quick enough.”

“Maybe. You all get up awful early though.”

“Says the man who used to wake me up at the crack of dawn every damn day back in the service.”

They kidded each other, swapped memories and eased their way back into the friendship that had stood them in good stead for more than a decade. Austin figured they didn’t need to hash out what had happened in the uncomfortable months when he hadn’t communicated with Edgars. They knew each other well enough to know that was the past and things had changed now.

Austin hoped Edgars would give moving to the ranch some serious consideration. They could definitely use the extra hands, and something told him the man could use the change of scenery.

“You look good, Hall,” his friend said suddenly. “This ranch agrees with you.”

“So does being married,” Austin said. A grin tugged at his mouth as he remembered the events at the obstacle course this afternoon.

“So what’s all this about renewing your vows?”

“It’s kind of a long story.”

“Well, I have nowhere to go.”

*    *    *

“MARIANNE?”

“Ella! There you are!” Marianne jumped up from her seat at the kitchen table and swooped over to her as soon as she entered the door, her high heels clicking on the hard floor. She pulled Ella into a tight embrace. “I missed you!”

Ella didn’t know what to say. Marianne was the last person she’d expected to see here, and if she was honest, the last person she wanted to see. She was even more surprised to see Chase Edgars tonight. She thought he was flying in tomorrow morning.

Marianne sighed, holding Ella at arm’s length. “I’m not here to bully you into taking that part, although I admit I’d like to. It is perfect for you.”

Ella pulled away. “For someone who isn’t here to bully me that’s not an auspicious beginning.”

“That’s it. That’s all you’ll hear from me on the topic.”

“Why did you come here, then?” Ella knew Marianne wouldn’t expect this bluntness, but she was done being the pushover she’d been in Los Angeles.

“Well, I did come to talk you into taking the part, I’ll admit that. In fact, I came on Anthony’s behalf.” She held up a hand to stop Ella’s response. “But he texted me and let me know he’d been here already, and that you wouldn’t budge. Now that I’m here, I can see why. This ranch is what you’ve always dreamed of, isn’t it?” One corner of her mouth turned up in a wry grin, reminding Ella of the teenage girl she used to know. “Horses everywhere!”

Ella had to chuckle. “Yes, horses everywhere. You’re right; this is exactly where I want to be.”

“I pulled you away from all of that when we were kids.” Marianne stepped back. “I guess if I’m honest, I’ll have to admit I used you. I’m sorry for that. I always thought I knew better than you did what would be good for you. It never occurred to me I was doing what was good for me.”

“That’s okay. I’d like to think that if I’d truly wanted to, I could have said no to all of your plans. My time in Los Angeles wasn’t a complete waste, you know. I wouldn’t give up all those experiences.”

“Or the money,” Marianne said.

“Or the money,” Ella agreed. “It’ll help me do what I want to do next.”

“Let me guess.” Marianne rolled her eyes. “Equine therapy?”

“You remember that?”

“It’s all you talked about for a year back in high school.”

“I was pretty taken with the idea. I still like it.”

Marianne softened. “Yeah. I can see that it suits you now. I hope you and your new husband are happy together.” She peeked out the back door at the men on the porch as their laughter rang out. “He’s handsome, I’ll give you that.”

“Yep. And don’t forget—you introduced me to him.” Ella couldn’t help but smile. “Can I get you anything to eat? Do you want some tea?” She moved to get it.

“Just water if you have some. By the way, there’s something else you should know about Anthony.”

“Really, Marianne—I don’t want to hear about him.”

“He lied to you. He lied to both of us.”

“Surprise, surprise.” Ella fetched a glass and poured Marianne water from the tap. Marianne looked at it askance, took it, ventured a sip and nodded appreciatively.

“Pretty good, considering it isn’t bottled.”

“One of the many perks of living in the country.”

“Anyway, I assume he lied to you. He told me he wasn’t the father of Kaylee’s child. That she’d made up the story to force his hand.”

Ella nodded. “He told me that, too.”

“He’s the one who was lying. Kaylee launched a paternity suit against him today. It’s going to get ugly. The studio isn’t interested in him playing the lead anymore.”

Ella wondered if Marianne had gotten the news before or after she decided Ella belonged on the ranch after all. She sighed, wishing it was possible to go back to the innocent days with Marianne before Hollywood had ever reared its ugly head. She had started to think there really weren’t any innocent days, though. Maybe Marianne’s personality had stayed consistent the whole time. Maybe Ella had been the one to change—first into a Hollywood star and then back again.

She could still be friends with Marianne, but Regan, Camila, Maya and Stella would be the women she turned to in the future when times got tough. With only a small pang of sadness for the life she was now truly leaving behind, she led the way out onto the back porch where the man of her dreams awaited her.

Chapter 35

‡

“TO THE LEFT a little more. A little more. That’s it.”

Austin did his best to remain patient as he, Mason, and Richard maneuvered the awning into place in the Hall’s backyard where he and Ella would exchange their wedding vows in two days. Since Mason and Regan had hosted a similar wedding here just weeks ago, Regan was the expert at all things to do with the ceremony and she seemed to enjoy ordering the rest of them around.

“Well, look at this! Wedding number two! Pretty soon all my sons will be married!”

“Mom!” Austin set down his end of the tent and went to greet his mother. She’d flown here for a short visit in June when Mason got married, but he was still plenty glad to see her again, even if he wasn’t sure what she’d make of his marriage to Ella. As far as he knew none of his brothers had mentioned Aunt Heloise’s deal to her, and Aunt Heloise hadn’t opened her mouth about it either. That meant his mother would have a few things to say about this rushed wedding.

He had some questions for her too, and when they finished embracing and he pulled back, she raised an eyebrow. “What is it? Is my hair a mess?”

“You look beautiful,” Mason said, coming for his turn. He gave their diminutive mother a big bear hug until she laughed with pleasure. Still, when his brother set her down, she turned back to Austin.

“I think you and I have some talking to do. Let these big galumphs get the work done while you and I chat.”

“First I think you need to meet someone. Ella’s in town at the moment, so I’ll introduce you two later, but this,” he gestured for Richard to join them, “is my son, Richard. Richard, this is your grandmother, Julie.” He had told her about this surprising new aspect in his life over the phone, and while she’d been as shocked as the rest of them to hear the news, she’d recovered quickly. Now she smiled.

“I’m so glad to meet you.” Julie gathered Richard up into a fierce hug. “I wish I’d met you a long time ago.”

Richard nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“We’ll get to know each other later, don’t you worry. I’m going to chat with your dad first, but we’ll all have supper together, won’t we?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Richard rejoined the other men and Austin led the way to the dining room where they’d have some privacy.

“What’s up?”

“I just want to be sure you’re adjusting to civilian life. You know it takes time.”

Austin knew she’d studied everything about the military the minute her sons decided to join up. Back then she’d been relieved that they’d taken a step that promised them both a career and a structure to their lives that she couldn’t give them while she grieved for their father. When time passed, she remained an ardent supporter of all things military, but she worried about them, especially when each of them joined elite forces and saw plenty of dangerous missions. He imagined it made her very happy to have two sons safely out of harm’s way. He wondered if she was counting the days until Zane ended his service, too.

“It’s been… hard. But I’m okay now. Ella’s great. You’ll love her.”

“I’m sure I will. Regan said she’s at the last fitting of her gown?”

Austin nodded.

His mother touched his arm. “I’m always here for you. You know that, right?”

“I know, Mom.” He hesitated. “I spoke to Halpern.”

She cocked her head. “About what?”

“About a few things. We talked about you and Dad. What happened before you were married.”

His mother pulled back. “I see. I bet that was a shock.”

“It was.”

“How much did he tell you?”

“Everything.” At least he thought Halpern had.

Julie nodded. “That was a long time ago, Austin, and everything turned out okay. I forgave your father completely; you have to know that.”

“How?”

Julie blinked. “How what?”

“How did you forgive him? He hurt you. He could have hurt your child.”

“You don’t think that tore him to pieces, Austin? Do you think I needed to punish him more?” She shook her head. “Punishment wasn’t up to me. That wasn’t my part. Loving was my part. Forgiveness. Healing.”

“You know, I can understand that here.” He tapped his forehead. “But I can’t understand it in my heart.”

Julie crossed her arms. “Then you’ve never really loved someone, because that’s what it’s all about. It’s about seeing the cracks and crevices in their souls, witnessing their mistakes and wrongdoings, and witnessing their remorse, too. It’s about feebly trying to do here on earth what we say God does in heaven every moment of every day—forgive. Otherwise we might as well just turn our backs on each other and spend our lives alone.”

“But what if it’s not other people who are the problem?”

She waited for him to explain.

“What if you can’t forgive yourself?”

“Is that a problem you’re facing? Are you unable to forgive yourself for something?” She took his hand. “Austin, now that you’re a father you’ll learn what love really is. You’ll get so much practice forgiving your kids it will become second nature.” She sighed. “I know you didn’t get to be there when Richard was a baby, but you’ll get that chance when you and Ella have a child. I’ve always thought that when you see your newborn for the first time, you get an inkling about what God feels for us. He can forgive us just about anything. So we might as well forgive ourselves, right?”

“I guess so.” He leaned closer. “And just so you know, that moment—when I hold my newborn in my arms? It’s on its way.”

“Austin!” Julie’s eyes lit up. “You and Ella are having a baby? You’ve made me the happiest mother alive. Where is that woman? I need to meet her right away!”

*    *    *

THE FOLLOWING DAY—the day before the wedding—was a happy one for Ella. All the details of the event were in place, out-of-town guests had arrived—including her parents, whom she hadn’t seen for months—and the Halls and the Scales were already bonding. It turned out her mother and Julie had both brought extensive collections of digital photographs which they shared with everyone present, to the chagrin of both Ella and Austin. She got a chance to laugh at a photo of Austin at sixteen months in a cowboy hat, boots and gun belt slung so low his diaper was falling off. He got his revenge when her mother showed round an adorable baby photo of her in the bath. Regan did the hard work as hostess, keeping everyone supplied with food and drinks, and Ella did her best to help in between chatting with everyone.

Watching Austin interact with his mother had become one of her favorite things to do. The love between them was so obvious, and the way he kept a watch over her, making sure she had everything she needed, told her she hadn’t made a mistake in choosing Austin for her husband.

The future seemed a brighter place than it had in a long, long time. She might not have all the pieces of the puzzle worked out yet when it came to equine therapy, but Maya and Stella had promised to introduce her to more of the residents of Chance Creek now that she wasn’t hiding from the press anymore, and Austin had promised to help her find several extra-gentle horses to train. Surely she could find a therapist to work with sooner or later.

She couldn’t believe she was getting everything she wanted. Couldn’t believe that her mad dash away from Hollywood had landed her here—right where she wanted to be.

“I know exactly how you feel,” Regan whispered to her in a quiet moment when they met up in the Hall’s kitchen. “There’s something miraculous about those silly Wife Wanted ads, isn’t there?”

Ella nodded. Things couldn’t have turned out any better if she’d planned them.

*    *    *

RICHARD APPEARED AT about two o’clock that afternoon determined to get some grandma time, as he called it. Austin called Heather and left her a message to tell her where he was, but she didn’t pick up the phone. According to Richard, when she worked at Rafter’s he wasn’t supposed to call unless there was a true emergency. Austin didn’t think this counted, so he left his message on her home phone and figured he’d have Richard back there before she even discovered it.

It felt right to have Richard in his life and sharing his family. It felt right to hear the Hall ring with voices and laughter again. It made him realize that had been missing these last few months since he’d been home. They’d had guests over, and they’d had plenty of good times, but the Hall was meant for a crowd.

“Having fun?” he asked Richard when he bumped into the boy in the kitchen sneaking a cookie from a fresh set Regan had just baked.

“Yeah!” The boy snatched his cookie, waved and headed back to the chaos of the living room.

“How about you? Are you having any fun?” Ella asked and kissed his jaw.

“Yep, but I can’t wait until everyone goes home and I have you all to myself again.”

“Mmm, that sounds good.” She leaned against him for a moment, but straightened again when a commotion in the dining room caught their attention.

“Zane?” Austin heard his mother call out. “Zane? Is that you?”

He and Ella hurried to join his mother at the front door as a man in uniform climbed out of the taxi that had just driven up. He grabbed his bag from the trunk, then turned to climb the steps, only then noticing the audience he had. Zane broke out into a broad grin. “Hey! Everyone’s here!”

Julie ran down the steps to meet him, throwing her arms around his neck. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

“I called in a few favors,” Zane said. “I figured Austin needed some guidance on this important occasion.” He reached Austin and gave him a light punch to the arm.

Richard, who’d joined them, watched the exchange wide-eyed. “You two look exactly alike!”

“Not really,” Austin assured him. “Not once you take a closer look.”

Richard trailed after them as they entered the house, looking from one to the other and back again. “You do look exactly alike. I bet no one can tell you apart.”

“I can,” Julie said confidently. “Austin, go upstairs and find Zane a room. Help him get settled. Then you all get right back down here. I want to hear all your news, Zane.”

“Can I come?” Richard asked, following the men and Ella to the stairs.

“Sure,” Austin said. “Zane, meet Ella and Richard. Richard and Ella, meet Zane. If you haven’t guessed, Zane’s my twin. And this is my son.” He put a hand on Richard’s shoulder.

Zane exchanged greetings with them and they began the climb to the third floor. “I wish I had a twin,” Richard said.

Austin smiled, but he was a little worried about Zane, who’d become subdued during the introductions. When they reached a small bedroom that stood empty except for a plain twin bed, he ushered Zane inside. “These aren’t the fanciest accommodations, but the bigger rooms downstairs are already full.”

“That’s okay. I’ve slept in worse conditions.”

“I’ll bet,” Austin said. “Do you want a few minutes to yourself to settle in?”

Zane dropped the duffel bag he carried on the ground. “Actually, now that Mom’s not around, I wanted to talk to you. And Richard. This concerns him. I guess it concerns you, too, Ella. I came because I know something you don’t, Austin.” He looked around as if for a place to sit and chose the only option—the bed.

Richard dropped down beside him, Ella leaned against the doorjamb and Austin stayed where he was, not liking Zane’s tone. “What do you mean it concerns Richard?”

Zane drummed his fingers on his knee for a minute. “Well, I might as well come right out with it. Richard—when’s your birthday?”

“November sixteenth!” Richard said brightly. “When’s yours?”

But Austin was already doing the math. A wave of ice swept down his spine. “No. Don’t—”

He wanted Zane to stop right then. He didn’t want to listen to anything else his twin had to say, but Zane set his jaw and kept on going. “So he was conceived in March,” he said in a quiet but firm tone.

“No,” Austin said again, shaking his head. Heather had broken up with him in February. Richard looked from one to the other.

“My birthday is November sixteenth.”

Austin straightened, the rushing in his ears making it hard to hear. “It better not be you,” he said to Zane. “You son-of-a-bitch, tell me it’s not you.”

Zane stood up, holding a hand out to keep Richard where he was. The boy’s jaw had dropped open at Austin’s tone.

“It’s not me,” Zane said.

“Then who? Tell me!”

Zane lifted his other hand as if warding him off. “It’s Colt. Now Austin—Richard’s right here—”

Austin couldn’t listen anymore. He couldn’t stand to hear another word. He pushed past Ella into the hall. He wasn’t aware of the stairs under his feet as he pounded down two flights to the ground floor. Then he was out the front door, striding toward the woods, his only thought to get away.

“Austin?” A female voice called after him when he was half-way across the lawn. “Austin, wait!”

He kept going, unable to keep his temper under control and unwilling to let anyone see him like this. Richard wasn’t his son. Richard was Colt’s. Colt had slept with—

“Austin! Stop!” Heather called after him.

Her words brought him up short when he realized who it was. He turned, his hands balling into fists. His feelings must have been plain to see, because she stopped too, some feet away from him.

“Shit. You know.”

He could only nod.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me about you and Colt?”

“Why do you think?” She held her hands out wide. “What choice did I have back then, Austin?”

What could she possibly mean? “You had the choice to tell me the truth—that you were fucking my brother!”

“So I could tear your family apart? After you’d just lost your father?” She shook her head, her blond hair bouncing against her face. “What I did was wrong; I knew that as soon as I did it. Colt did, too. We promised each other never to be together again—but then your Dad died, and then you all left town, and then I found out I was pregnant.” Her eyes begged him to understand. “I knew if I told either of you, you’d hate him forever and he’d hate himself. He was just a kid—he was younger than me, for god’s sake—just sixteen. I couldn’t do that to you, not either of you.” She lifted her hands. “Don’t you see, Austin? You’d just lost your father. I couldn’t destroy the rest of your family.”

“So when I came back? You thought you’d keep on lying?”

“I never said you were his father. You were the one who decided that.”

“You could have explained.”

“What’s changed, Austin? Do you care for your brother any less now than you did back then? Is Colt any more likely to settle down in Chance Creek? I didn’t know what to do. I hoped you’d go away again. I hoped you’d keep away from me! I hoped the problem would disappear.”

Heather was quickly losing control over her emotions. He felt like losing control, too. “I think I need you to disappear,” he ground out.

Heather recoiled and her eyes filled with tears. She took a shaky breath. “I’ll get Richard and take him home. But Austin—you’re not the only one hurt. Remember that. Whether or not you’re his father, Richard loves you. He needs you. I realize that now. He needs all of you Halls. I shouldn’t have kept him from you. I just didn’t want you and Colt to fight. Please believe me.”

“Heather, just… go.”

She nodded and turned away, trudging slowly back toward the Hall. He knew he was being unfair in some ways. Heather was right—the knowledge that she had slept with Colt would have devastated him back when he was seventeen, and would have driven a wedge between him and Colt forever. Now he was angry, but not because Colt and Heather had been together twelve years ago, but because Richard wasn’t his. He’d grown accustomed to the idea of being the boy’s father. It had helped to pull him out of the funk he’d fallen into for so long. He looked forward to Richard’s visits. He liked sharing his knowledge with him, liked goofing around with him. Liked being someone Richard could depend on.

He turned on his heel and marched toward the woods, needing to be alone. If he was truthful, he’d thought that helping to raise Richard could be his first step toward atoning for the wrong he’d done to Donovan. But life didn’t work that way, did it? The two weren’t connected. Donovan was dead and he couldn’t bring him back.

Richard wasn’t his son.

Once he’d reached the forest, Austin sagged against a thick pine truck, unable to bear the weight of the loss.

“I’m sorry I was the one to tell you.”

Austin stiffened at the sound of Zane’s voice.

“Colt confessed to me what he did years ago. He felt like shit about it, but the past was the past and I told him to let it lie. As soon as I heard about Richard and put two and two together I couldn’t let you go on thinking he was yours. It would just make it worse when Colt came home.”

“Colt isn’t coming home.”

“Maybe he will now.”

“I wanted to be—I would have—”

“I know.” Zane moved to face him. “And you still will mean the world to that boy. You’ll still help raise him. We all will.”

Austin sighed. He supposed he could still help raise Richard, even if Colt was his real father. Heather was right; Colt had no plans to leave the service and his visits would be few and far between. Austin, Mason and Zane would have to fill in for him. Maybe things didn’t have to change that much.

Ella was pregnant, too. He would soon have children he could call his own. He supposed he could share Richard. He didn’t like it, but what choice did he have?

“You’ll get past this,” Zane said quietly. “Think of all the good things you do have.”

Austin saw an image of the future in his mind’s eye. All of his brothers home and living on the ranch, each with a wife and a family. Children of various ages playing together, working together, learning alongside their parents. In a way, they were creating their own tiny village here at Crescent Hall, and soon he’d have no chance to be lonely. Maybe it would be okay.

Maybe.

“It’s been a hard run for you, hasn’t it, since Donovan died?”

Austin jerked around to face him. “What do you know about it?”

“A little. I started looking into things a month or so ago. You weren’t yourself.”

That twin connection again. He should have known he couldn’t fool Zane.

“It’ll get better. You’ll see. You want to talk about it?”

To Austin’s surprise, he found that he did.

Chapter 36

‡

WHEN ELLA WENT looking for Austin twenty minutes later, she found an exasperated Heather and a tearful Richard still on the property. They stood by Heather’s truck, which from the looks of things Richard refused to enter.

“I don’t care if he’s not my real dad. I’m not leaving until I say good-bye.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to us right now, honey. He’s angry.”

“With you. Not with me. I’m angry, too!”

Heather caught sight of Ella and straightened. Richard followed her gaze and turned around. “My Dad—Austin—hates me because of what my mom did, doesn’t he?”

“Of course not.” Ella came to stand beside him. “Austin loves you so much, Richard. That’s why he’s sad—he wanted to be your father just as much as you want him to be.”

“Then he should be my dad. I don’t care about… Colt.”

Heather rubbed both hands over her face. “I can’t believe this.”

“It’ll be all right,” Ella told her. “I know it will be.”

“Really? How? All I ever do is screw things up. I kept Richard from his Dad—from all of his family. I’ve been alone for years. I’ve barely made it this far. I’m behind on my rent. I just… suck at everything.”

Ella could tell she was close to tears, but before she could offer any sympathy, Heather stiffened and Ella turned to see Austin and Zane approaching.

“Oh, no,” Heather said. “Richard, come on—we have to leave.”

But Richard raced toward Austin and threw himself into his arms. Austin wrapped his arms around the boy and rested his cheek on Richard’s head. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Heather watched them, her face pale. “I should have stayed with him,” she whispered to Ella. “We would have been married for years now, but I fell for Colt so hard.”

“You were very young,” Ella said, grateful Heather hadn’t stuck with her first love. She didn’t want to be Heather’s confidant, so she was relieved when Austin approached with Richard.

“I’m still angry,” he said to Heather, “but that’s not going to solve anything, is it?”

“No.” Heather’s voice was very small.

“You have to tell Colt. Just as soon as he gets back from his current assignment.”

Heather nodded, her face pale. “When will that be?”

Austin and Zane exchanged a glance. “It’s going to be a couple of months,” Zane said.

She took a breath. “That gives me a little time to figure things out. I’d like to do it in my own way. Will you let me do that?”

Austin’s expression hardened. “What does that mean?”

“I loved him, Austin. And I let him walk away from me for your sake—and for his. He’s going to be just as angry as you are when he finds out what I did. I want to try to make that right.”

“He’s not in love with you.”

“Austin!” Ella felt a pang of sympathy for the other woman.

Austin visibly pulled himself together. “He doesn’t want to leave the service. I know that much.”

“Will you give me a chance to speak for myself? To tell things my way? I’d like to write to him—to explain what happened. To see—” She trailed off with a glance at Richard, but her meaning was clear to Ella. Heather still loved Colt. She still wanted to be with him.

An idea occurred to Ella. “You could answer the Wife Wanted ad,” she blurted. “The original one that Mason set up.” Austin had told her all about it and how he’d made a new one to fit his needs better.

Heather turned to her. “A Wife Wanted ad? What do you mean?”

Austin cocked his head and to Ella’s surprise, he grinned. “That just might work if you do it right, Heather.”

“Do what right? I don’t understand.”

“I’ll explain,” Ella said to her. “If that’s all right?” She looked to Austin for confirmation.

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll keep Richard busy for a while. Hey, buddy—you want to help me check that my uniform’s ready for tomorrow?”

“So you are getting married in your uniform? That’s so cool!” Just like that, Richard was happy again. He stuck close to Austin on the way into the house, Ella noticed, and she hoped when Colt came home, Richard could learn to love his real father as much as he loved Austin.

“So here’s what happened,” Ella began and outlined Aunt Heloise’s conditions for the Hall brothers to inherit Crescent Hall. “Mason made a Wife Wanted ad—”

Heather nodded, and soon she was on board with Ella’s plan.

Chapter 37

‡

“ELLA?” AUSTIN’S VOICE penetrated the sound of the shower a day later, and jolted Ella from a reverie about the upcoming ceremony. In four short hours she’d tie the knot with Austin for a second time. She couldn’t wait.

“What?” she called, letting the water sluice over her. She had washed and rinsed her hair, conditioned it, too. Her legs were smooth and hairless, her body fresh with scented soap. Every inch of her was squeaky clean, ready for her nuptials, but she wasn’t ready to step out from under the luxurious stream of hot water.

Austin banged on the door. “Ella!”

With a sigh she shut off the shower, wrung out her hair, stepped out onto the bath mat and wrapped a towel around her. “What?” She opened the door.

Austin leaned against the frame, a smile on his handsome face. “I’ve got a situation in the bedroom. Would you come help me check some measurements?”

“Now? You’ve got to be kidding!” But she let him lead her into the bedroom. How could she refuse?

“Just be thankful I’m not asking you to do it on the balance beam again.”

“Or the salmon ladder,” she agreed.

“Now, the salmon ladder has possibilities.”

She giggled as he pulled her close, unwrapped the towel, picked her up and tossed her on the bed, diving onto it after her.

“Austin! You’re going to break the bed!”

“Babe, I haven’t begun to break this bed.” He straddled her and bent to kiss her thoroughly.

“I just showered.”

“Shower again,” he said, unbuttoning his fly. “Or don’t. We could send everyone home and spend the day here.”

“No way! Do you know how much food Regan ordered? I refuse to miss out on Camila and Fila’s cooking.” She gasped as he moved lower, taking one of her breasts into his mouth. “Austin. Are you listening to me?”

“Food. Catering.”

“Plus my dress. I like this one even better than the last one.” Regan had helped her find it at a local shop called Ellie’s Bridals. It hugged her every curve before flowing into an elegant train.

Austin moved to the other breast and Ella ran out of excuses to stop him. She didn’t want to stop him anyhow. It wasn’t long until she was begging him for more and when he finally sheathed himself within her, the long, strong stroke filling her up and making her cry out, she thought her heart would burst with love for him.

“How do you want it?” he said in her ear.

“Fast. Hard.”

“I can do that.”

He started slowly, though, easing in and out as if he was testing the waters and found them just fine. His languorous motions were driving her crazy and she splayed her hands over his ass trying to control the movement of his hips. Austin chuckled as she struggled against his strength. “Who do you think is running this dog and pony show?”

“I would if I could,” she complained.

“Should we head out to that balance beam?”

She made a face. “Not today, the place is crawling with guests.”

“Then you’ll have to lie back and take what you get.” Austin sped up. “How’s this?”

“Better.” Now she clung to him, arching her hips up to meet him fully. She wanted him deep within her. Wanted to feel every inch of him. Soon she forgot all about his teasing as his motions brought her close to coming.

“Do you love me?” he asked.

“Yes.” Her fingers gripped his hips, digging into his skin.

“Do you want me?”

“God, yes. Austin!”

He thrust within her once, twice and pushed her over the edge. She cried out with the joy of it, and bucked against him until her head swam from the waves of release that pulsed through her.

He followed her swiftly, his own masculine sounds a tenor counterpart to hers.

Ella collapsed back against the mattress, tugging Austin down on top of her. She wanted to feel the solid weight of him. Wanted to know he was really, truly there.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he assured her and kissed her again. “I’ll always be right here.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

*    *    *

“THIS IS MORE like it,” Heloise said when she cornered Austin just before the ceremony. “A proper wedding in front of all your kin.”

“I have to hand it to you, Heloise. You were right.” Austin was glad he and Ella were doing their wedding over again with all the bells and whistles. Ella deserved her day in the sun, and he figured he deserved a real wedding night—one he could enjoy without guilt.

“I’m always right.” Heloise looked around. “Now what about that twin of yours? I notice he didn’t bring a date.”

“Don’t worry. He’ll get there. So will Colt. You don’t think we’ll let the Hall get away from us again, do you?”

“Your cousin Darren sure hopes you will. I heard he’s having money trouble.”

Austin filed that information away for another day. Today was for celebrating. “Let me help you to your seat. The ceremony is about to begin.”

Ten minutes later, Austin stood at the end of a rose petal-strewn aisle in the backyard of Crescent Hall. A white awning shielded him from the worst of the early afternoon sunshine. Richard stood next to him as his best man and behind him Edgars, Zane and Mason stood up with him, too. Austin appreciated their support. Since he and Mason were still in the reserves, they were able to wear their uniforms. Zane, as an active serviceman, wore his as well and so did Edgars—accorded that honor since he was wounded in the line of duty. Austin felt that they acquitted themselves well, and from Richard’s sidelong looks at their accumulated stripes and medals, he was suitably impressed.

As the recorded music struck up and Ella began her approach down the aisle, however, Austin had other things on his mind. Like how much he loved her and how much he looked forward to being alone with her again. She had changed his life, helped him move forward and given him a vision of the future that filled him with hope. One day his brothers—all of them—would return home and together they’d create a paradise here at Crescent Hall. Even the news that Richard wasn’t his son couldn’t take away the rightness of that.

“She’s a beauty,” Edgars leaned past Richard to say quietly. “You’ll have to work hard to deserve her.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes.”

On the other side of Chase, Mason leaned forward. “Dad would be proud of you today.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m proud of you, too,” Richard said and Austin chuckled. For the first time in much too long he could laugh without pain cutting it off. He would always mourn Donovan’s passing, but he no longer blamed himself for it. He’d let that burden go, and he felt lighter for it. Freer. Able to move on.

As Ella moved down the aisle on the arm of her father, she kept her gaze on Austin and her eyes shone with love for him. He was aware it was a miracle that they’d found each other, that they’d stuck with each other and that they’d spend the rest of their lives with each other. Under this wide blue sky, surrounded by friends and family, on the ranch that he’d always loved, he didn’t think life could get any better.

Ella joined him at the altar and they held hands as they listened to Reverend Halpern read the traditional wedding vows again. This time Austin meant what he said when he repeated the words that joined them together. This time he would keep his promises.

When Halpern pronounced them man and wife and Austin bent down to kiss her, he couldn’t help himself. He wrapped his arms around her, lifted her nearly off her feet and kissed her until he could hardly breathe. The small crowd whooped and cheered and when he looked up, Regan, Stella and Maya, Ella’s bridesmaids, were all crying happy tears.

A sweep of his gaze over the gathering told him everything he needed to know. He was loved. He was safe.

He was home.

*    *    *

HOURS LATER, WHEN the celebration was over and the guests had all gone home, Ella climbed into her side of the bed, tired but supremely happy. She loved the new ring that encircled her finger—the ring Austin had picked out just for her. She loved the feeling of the new life growing within her.

She loved her new husband most of all. She finally felt married now, for real and always. She never meant to leave Crescent Hall—not for long, anyways.

“We made it. We’re actually married.”

Austin climbed under the covers on the same side of the bed, and shoved her over to the other side. “We’ve been married.”

“Now we’re more married.”

“Oh, yeah?” He propped himself up on one elbow. “Does that mean I can make love to you more often?”

“I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“Oh, it’s possible. Come here, let me show you.”

Ella gladly wriggled into his arms. “I’ll need a thorough demonstration.”

“One thorough demonstration, coming right up.”

The End

The Heroes of Chance Creek series continues with The Marine’s E-Mail Order Bride.

Read on for an excerpt of Volume 1 of The Cowboys of Chance Creek series – The Cowboy’s E-Mail Order Bride. Please note that this novel is not part of the Heroes of Chance Creek series; it is the first in the earlier series, The Cowboys of Chance Creek.

Visit Cora Seton’s website and sign up for her Newsletter here. Find her on Facebook here.

Other Titles by Cora Seton:

The Heroes of Chance Creek:

The Navy SEAL’s E-mail Order Bride (Volume 1)

The Marine’s E-Mail Order Bride (Volume 3)

The Airman’s E-Mail Order Bride (Volume 4)

The Cowboys of Chance Creek:

The Cowboy’s E-mail Order Bride (Volume 1)

The Cowboy Wins a Bride (Volume 2)

The Cowboy Imports a Bride (Volume 3)

The Cowgirl Ropes a Billionaire (Volume 4)

The Sheriff Catches a Bride (Volume 5)

The Cowboy Lassos a Bride (Volume 6)

The Cowboy Rescues a Bride (Volume 7)

The Cowboy Earns a Bride (Volume 8)

‡

Chapter One

“YOU DID WHAT?” Ethan Cruz turned his back on the slate and glass entrance to Chance Creek, Montana’s Regional Airport, and jiggled the door handle of Rob Matheson’s battered red Chevy truck. Locked. It figured—Rob had to know he’d want to turn tail and head back to town the minute he found out what his friends had done. “Open the damned door, Rob.”

“Not a chance. You’ve got to come in—we’re picking up your bride.”

“I don’t have a bride and no one getting off that plane concerns me. You’ve had your fun, now open up the door or I’m grabbing a taxi.” He faced his friends. Rob, who’d lived on the ranch next door to his their entire lives. Cab Johnson, county sheriff, who was far too level-headed to be part of this mess. And Jamie Lassiter, the best horse trainer west of the Mississippi as long as you could pry him away from the ladies. The four of them had gone to school together, played football together, and spent more Saturday nights at the bar than he could count. How many times had he gotten them out of trouble, drove them home when they’d had one beer to many, listened to them bellyache about their girlfriends or lack thereof when all he really wanted to do was knock back a cold one and play a game of pool? What the hell had he ever done to deserve this?

Unfortunately, he knew exactly what he’d done. He’d played a spectacularly brilliant prank a month or so ago on Rob—a prank that still had the town buzzing—and Rob concocted this nightmare as payback. Rob got him drunk one night and egged him on about his ex-fiancee until he spilled his guts about how much it still bothered him that Lacey Taylor had given him the boot in favor of that rich sonofabitch Carl Whitfield. The name made him want to spit. Dressed like a cowboy when everyone knew he couldn’t ride to save his life.

Lacey bailed on him just as life had delivered a walloping one-two punch. First his parents died in a car accident. Then he discovered the ranch was mortgaged to the hilt. As soon as Lacey learned there would be some hard times ahead, she took off like a runaway horse. Didn’t even have the decency to break up with him face to face. Before he knew it Carl was flying Lacey all over creation in his private plane. Las Vegas. San Francisco. Houston. He never had a chance to get her back.

He should have kept his thoughts bottled up where they belonged—would have kept them bottled up if Rob hadn’t kept putting those shots into his hand—but no, after he got done swearing and railing at Lacey’s bad taste in men, he apparently decided to lecture his friends on the merits of a real woman. The kind of woman a cowboy should marry.

And Rob—good ol’ Rob—captured the whole thing with his cell phone.

When he showed it to him the following day, Ethan made short work of the asinine gadget, but it was too late. Rob had already emailed the video to Cab and Jamie, and the three of them spent the next several days making his life damn miserable over it.

If only they’d left it there.

The other two would have, but Rob was still sore about that old practical joke, so he took things even further. He decided there must be a woman out there somewhere who met all of the requirements Ethan expounded on during his drunken rant. To find her, he did what any rational man would do. He edited Ethan’s rant into a video advertisement for a damned mail order bride.

And posted it on YouTube.

Rob showed him the video on the ride over to the airport. There he was for all the world to see, sounding like a jack-ass—hell, looking like one, too. Rob’s fancy editing made his rant sound like a proposition. “What I want,” he heard himself say, “is a traditional bride. A bride for a cowboy. 18—25 years old, willing to work hard, beautiful, quiet, sweet, good cook, ready for children. I’m willing to give her a trial. One month’ll tell me all I need to know.” Then the image cut out to a screen full of text, telling women how to submit their video applications.

Unbelievable. This was low—real low—even for Rob.

Ready for children?

“You all are cracked in the head. I’m not going in there.”

“Come on, Ethan,” Cab said. The big man stood with his legs spread, his arms folded over his barrel chest, ready to stop him if he tried to run. “The girl’s come all the way from New York. You’re not even going to say hello? What kind of a fiance are you?”

He clenched his fists. “No kind at all. And there isn’t any girl in there. You know it. I know it. So stop wasting my time. There isn’t any girl dumb enough to answer something like that!”

The other men exchanged a look.

“Actually,” Jamie said, leaning against the Chevy and rubbing the stubble on his chin with the back of his hand. “We got nearly 200 answers to that video. Took us hours to get through them all.” He grinned. “Who can resist a cowboy, right?”

As far as Ethan was concerned, plenty of women could. Lacey certainly had resisted him. Hence his bachelor status. “So you picked the ugliest, dumbest girl and tricked her into buying a plane ticket. Terrific.”

Rob looked pained. “No, we found one that’s both hot and smart. And we chipped in and bought the ticket—round trip, because we figured you wouldn’t know a good thing when it kicked you in the butt, so we’d have to send her back. Have a little faith in your friends. You think we’d steer you wrong?”

Hell, yes. Ethan took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. The guys wouldn’t admit they were joking until he’d gone into the airport and hung around the gate looking foolish for a suitable amount of time. And if they were stupid enough to actually fly a girl out here, he couldn’t trust them to put her back on a plane home. So now instead of finishing his chores before supper, he’d lose the rest of the afternoon sorting out this mess.

“Fine. Let’s get this over with,” he said, striding toward the front door. Inside, he didn’t bother to look at the television screen which showed incoming and outgoing flights. Chance Creek Regional had all of four gates. He’d just follow the hall as far as homeland security allowed him and wait until some lost soul deplaned.

“Look—it’s on time.” Rob grabbed his arm and tried to hurry him along. Ethan dug in the heels of his well worn boots and proceeded at his own pace.

Jamie pulled a cardboard sign out from under his jacket and flashed it at Ethan before holding it up above his head. It read, Autumn Leeds. Jamie shrugged at Ethan’s expression. “I know—the name’s brutal.”

“Want to see her?” Cab pulled out a gadget and handed it over. Ethan held it gingerly. The laptop he bought on the advice of his accountant still sat untouched in his tiny office back at the ranch. He hated these miniature things that ran on swoops and swipes and taps on buttons that weren’t really there. Cab reached over and pressed something and it came to life, showing a pretty young woman in a cotton dress in a kitchen preparing what appeared to be a pot roast.

“Hi, I’m Autumn,” she said, looking straight at him. “Autumn Leeds. As you can see, I love cooking…”

Rob whooped and pointed. “Look—there she is! I told you she’d come!”

Ethan raised his gaze from the gadget to see the woman herself walking toward them down the carpeted hall. Long black hair, startling blue eyes, porcelain-white skin, she was thin and haunted and luminous all at the same time. She, too, held a cell phone and seemed to be consulting it, her gaze glancing down then sweeping the crowd. As their eyes met, hers widened with recognition. He groaned inwardly when he realized this pretty woman had probably watched Rob’s stupid video multiple times. She might be looking at his picture now.

As the crowd of passengers and relatives split around their party, she walked straight up to them and held out her hand. “Ethan Cruz?” Her voice was low and husky, her fingers cool and her handshake firm. He found himself wanting to linger over it. Instead he nodded. “I’m Autumn Leeds. Your bride.”

AUTUMN HAD NEVER BEEN more terrified in her life. In her short career as a columnist for CityPretty Magazine, she’d interviewed models, society women, CEO’s and politicians, but all of them were urbanites, and she’d never had to leave New York to get the job done. As soon as her plane departed LaGuardia she knew she’d made a mistake. As the city skyline fell away and the countryside below her emptied into farmland, she clutched the arms of her seat as if she was heading for the moon rather than Montana. Now, hours later, she felt off-kilter and fuzzy, and the four men before her looked like extras in a Western flick. Large, muscled, rough men who all exuded a distinct odor of sweat she realized probably came from an honest afternoon’s work. Entirely out of her comfort zone, she wondered for the millionth time if she’d done the right thing. It’s the only way to get my contract renewed, she reminded herself. She had to write a story different from all the other articles in CityPretty. In these tough economic times, the magazine was downsizing—again. If she didn’t want to find herself out on the street, she had to produce—fast.

And what better story to write than the tale of a Montana cowboy using YouTube to search for an email-order bride?

Ethan Cruz looked back at her, seemingly at a loss for words. Well, that was to be expected with a cowboy, right? The ones in movies said about one word every ten minutes or so. That’s why his video said she needed to be quiet. Well, she could be quiet. She didn’t trust herself to speak, anyway.

She’d never been so near a cowboy before. Her best friend, Becka, helped shoot her video response, and they’d spent a hilarious day creating a pseudo-Autumn guaranteed to warm the cockles of a cowboy’s heart. Together, they’d decided to pitch her as desperate to escape the dirty city and unleash her inner farm wife on Ethan’s Montana ranch. They hinted she loved gardening, canning, and all the domestic arts. They played up both her toughness (she played first base in high school baseball) and her femininity (she loved quilting—what an outright lie). She had six costume changes in the three minute video.

Over her vehement protests, Becka forced her to end the video with a close-up of her face while she uttered the words, “I often fall asleep imagining the family I’ll someday have.” Autumn’s cheeks warmed as she recalled the depth of the deception. She wasn’t a country girl pining to be a wife; she was a career girl who didn’t intend to have kids for at least another decade. Right?

Of course.

Except somehow, when she watched the final video, the life the false Autumn said she wanted sounded far more compelling than the life the real Autumn lived. Especially the part about wanting a family.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want a career. She just wanted a different one—a different life. She hated how hectic and shallow everything seemed now. She remembered her childhood, back when she had two parents—a successful investment banker father and a stay-at-home mother who made the best cookies in New York City. Back then, her mom, Teresa, loved to take Autumn and her sister, Lily, to visit museums, see movies and plays, walk in Central Park and shop in the ethnic groceries that surrounded their home. On Sundays, they cooked fabulous feasts together and her mother’s laugh rang out loud and often. Friends and relatives stopped by to eat and talk, and Autumn played with the other children while the grownups clustered around the kitchen table. All that changed when she turned nine and her father left them for a travel agent. Her parents’ divorce was horrible. The fight wasn’t over custody; her father was all too eager to leave child-rearing to her mother while he toured Brazil with his new wife. The fight was over money—over the bulk of the savings her father had transferred to offshore accounts in the weeks before the breakup, and refused to return.

Broke, single and humiliated, her mother took up the threads of the life she’d put aside to marry and raise a family. A graduate of an elite liberal arts college, with several years of medical school already under her belt, she moved them into a tiny apartment on the edge of a barely-decent neighborhood and returned to her studies. Those were lean, lonely years when everyone had to pitch in. Autumn’s older sister watched over her after school, and Teresa expected them to take on any and all chores they could possibly handle. As Autumn grew, she took over the cooking and shopping and finally the family’s accounts. Teresa had no time for cultural excursions, let alone entertaining friends, but by the time Autumn was ready to go to college herself, she ran a successful OB-GYN practice that catered to wealthy women who’d left childbearing until the last possible moment, and she didn’t even have to take out a loan to fund her education.

Determined her daughters would never face the same challenges she had, Teresa raised them with three guiding precepts:

Every woman must be self-supporting.

Marriage is a trap set by men for women.

Parenthood must be postponed until one reaches the pinnacle of her career.

Autumn’s sister, Lily, was a shining example of this guide to life. She was single, ran her own physical therapy clinic, and didn’t plan to marry or have children any time soon. Next to her, Autumn felt like a black sheep. She couldn’t seem to accept work was all there was to life. Couldn’t forget the joy of laying a table for a host of guests. She still missed those happy, crowded Sunday afternoons so much it hurt her to think about them.

She forced her thoughts back to the present. The man before her was ten times more handsome than he was in his video, and that was saying a lot. Dark hair, blue eyes, a chiseled jaw with just a trace of manly stubble. His shoulders were broad and his stance radiated a determination she found more than compelling. This was a man you could lean on, a man who could take care of the bad guys, wrangle the cattle, and still sweep you off your feet.

“Ethan, aren’t you going to say hello to your fiancee?” One of the other men stuck out his hand. “I’m Rob Matheson. This is Cab Johnson and Jamie Lassiter. Ethan here needed some backup.”

Rob was blonde, about Ethan’s size, but not nearly so serious. In fact, she bet he was a real cut-up. That shit-eating grin probably never left his face. Cab was larger than the others—six foot four maybe, powerfully built. He wore a sheriff’s uniform. Jamie was lean but muscular, with dark brown hair that fell into his eyes. They had the easy camaraderie that spoke of a long acquaintance. They probably knew each other as kids, and would take turns being best man at each other’s weddings.

Her wedding.

No—she’d be long gone before the month was up. She had three weeks to turn in the story; maybe four, if it was really juicy. She’d pitched it to the editor of CityPretty as soon as the idea occurred to her. Margaret’s uncertain approval told her she was probably allowing her one last hurrah before CityPretty let her go.

Still, just for one moment she imagined herself standing side by side Ethan at the altar of some country church, pledging her love to him. What would it be like to marry a near stranger and try to forge a life with him?

Insane, that’s what.

So why did the idea send tendrils of warmth into all the right places?

She glanced up at Ethan to find him glancing down, and the warm feeling curved around her insides again. Surely New York men couldn’t be shorter than this crew, or any less manly, but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been around so much blatant testosterone. She must be ovulating. Why else would she react like this to a perfect stranger?

Ethan touched her arm. “This way.” She followed him down the hall, the others falling into place behind them like a cowboy entourage. She stifled a sudden laugh at the absurdity of it all, slipped her hand into her purse and grabbed her digital camera, capturing the scene with a few clicks. Had this man—this…cowboy—sat down and planned out the video he’d made? She tried to picture Ethan bending over a desk and carefully writing out “Sweet. Good cook. Ready for children.”

She blew out a breath and wondered if she was the only one stifling in this sudden heat. Ready for children? Hardly. Still…if she was going to make babies with anyone…

Shaking her head to dispel that dangerous image, she found herself at the airport’s single baggage carousel. It was just shuddering to life and within moments she pointed out first one, then another sleek, black suitcase. Ethan took them both, began to move toward the door and then faltered to a stop. He avoided her gaze, focusing on something far beyond her shoulder. “It’s just…I wasn’t….”

Oh God, Autumn thought, a sudden chill racing down her spine. Her stomach lurched and she raised a hand as if to ward off his words. She hadn’t even considered this.

He’d taken one look and decided to send her back.

ETHAN STARED INTO THE STRICKEN EYES of the most beautiful woman he’d ever met. He had to confess to her right now the extent of the joke she’d been led into thinking was real. It’d been bad enough when he thought Rob and the rest of them had simply hauled him to the airport for a chance to laugh their asses off at him, but now there was a woman involved, a real, beautiful, fragile woman. He had to stop this before it went any further.

When she raised her clear blue gaze to his, he saw panic, horror, and an awful recognition he instantly realized meant she thought she’d been judged and found wanting. He knew he’d do anything to make that look go away. Judged wanting. As if. The girl was as beautiful as a harvest moon shining on frost-flecked fields in late November. He itched to touch her, take her hand, pull her hard against him and…

Whoa—that thought couldn’t go any farther.

He swallowed hard and tried again. “I…it’s just my place…something came up and I didn’t get a chance to fix it like I meant to.” She relaxed a fraction and he rushed on. “It’s a good house—built by my great granddaddy in 1889 for the hired help. Solid. Just needs a little attention.”

“A woman’s touch,” Rob threw in.

Ethan restrained himself, barely. He’d get back at all of his friends soon enough. “I just hope you’ll be comfortable.”

A snigger behind him made him clench his fists.

“I don’t mind if it’s rough,” Autumn said, eliciting a bark of laughter from the peanut gallery. She blushed and Ethan couldn’t take his eyes off her face, although he wished she hadn’t caught the joke. She’d look like that in bed, after…

Enough.

“Give me the keys,” he said to Rob. When his friend hesitated, he held out a hand. “Now.”

Rob handed them over with a raised eyebrow, but Ethan just led the way outside and threw Autumn’s suitcases in the bed of the truck. He opened the passenger side door.

“Thank you,” she said, putting first one foot, then the other on the running board and scrambling somewhat ungracefully into the seat. City girl. At least her hesitation gave him a long moment to enjoy the view.

Rob made as if to open the door to the back bench seat, but Ethan shoved him aside, pressed down the lock and closed the passenger door. He was halfway around the truck before Rob could react.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Taking a ride with my fiancee. You all find your own way home.” He was in the driver’s side with the ignition turning over before any of them moved a muscle. Stupid fools. They’d made their beds and they could sleep in them.

He glanced at the ethereal princess sitting less than two feet away. Meanwhile, he’d sleep in his own comfortable bed tonight. Maybe with a little company for once.

The Cowboy’s E-mail Order Bride (Volume 1)

About the Author

Cora Seton loves cowboys, country life, gardening, bike-riding, and lazing around with a good book. Mother of four, wife to a computer programmer/eco-farmer, she ditched her California lifestyle eight years ago and moved to a remote logging town in northwestern British Columbia.

Like the characters in her novels, Cora enjoys old-fashioned pursuits and modern technology, spending mornings transforming a neglected one-acre lot into a paradise of orchards, berry bushes and market gardens, and afternoons writing the latest Chance Creek romance novel on her iPad mini. Visit http://www.coraseton.com to read about new releases, locate your favorite characters on the Chance Creek map, and learn about contests and other cool events!

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

Author’s Note

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Other Titles by Cora Seton

Excerpt from The Cowboy’s E-mail Order Bride

About the Author