NANNY FOR THE SEALS

SARWAH CREED

Copyright © 2021 by Sarwah Creed

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

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FOREWORD

Loved by Three is a 9 book collection Series are by Poppy Flynn , Evie Rae , Crimson Syn, Sarwah Creed, Karine Saint Jacques & Debbie Hope.

A collection of standalone novels in Contemporary Romance | Romantic Suspense | Cowboy | Romantic Comedy | College | High School | MC | SEALs | Bully | Neighbors and Sports Romance genres!

There is something for every reader in this amazing reverse harem series.Loved by Three is a 9 book collection series by Poppy Flynn, Evie Rae, Crimson Syn, Sarwah Creed, Karine Saint Jacques & Debbie Hope.

Smokin' Cowboys

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Bad Neighbors

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Triple Puck Players

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Tangled Web

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Sexy SEALs

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Beasty Bullies

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Wicked Stepbrothers

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Nanny for the SEALs

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Stranded with the Storm Chasers

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INTRODUCTION

Hi Lovey Reader,

I’m so excited that you’ve decided to pick up my new release, and read it.

I really hope you are going to enjoy it.

If you do, and you would love to read more of my books, then do not hesitate to contact me on social media. I’m even on Tiktok!

Have a great year, and happy reading.

Sarwah

ABOUT SARWAH CREED

Sarwah Creed is the author of The FlirtChat series. When she's not writing, then she's running, reading and listening to music. She lives with her three children in Madrid.

Learn more about Sarwah by connecting with her on social media:

Newsletter ---- http://eepurl.com/g0cLoH

CONTENTS

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Epilogue

Foreword

About Sarwah Creed

About Wife to the Seals

Chapter 1

Afterword

Prologue

NANNY FOR THE SEALS

Three SEALs need a nanny for their twins… and someone to satisfy their hot-as-sin bodies, too.

I moved cross-country to be with my ex, and one night I followed him, suspecting he was cheating on me. He ended up going to the strip club, Ranchy High.

I had to find a way to get in, so when the bouncer asked if I was the nanny, I lied.

I found out that my ex was cheating and stealing from others. Distressed and distraught, I found myself in the Jeep with a driver, with not only one kid, but two. Their driver took me to their penthouse, which was on the other side of town.

I soon found out that their dads were hot triplets—Stan, Rick, and Pete.

They told me that I did a good job and hired me on the spot. The three hot-as-sin SEALs were triplets, but they’re different in every way. Rick, with his seductive and commanding emerald eyes, made me want to surrender to him. Pete was the fun one, the kind who loved to keep entertaining me all night long. Stan was the shy one, the virgin I had to set free from his anxieties.

I found a new lease on life, one that I’d never dreamed of having until I moved in. No more did I have a man making all my anxieties go into overtime. My ex used to say I was too skinny one minute, then the next, I was fat.

My world could turn upside down because everything was going right, but it could go wrong if they found out my secret. The lie in which I’d been holding on to, could be revealed, and I would end up losing a lot more than the new home I’ve found—I could end up losing my heart, too.

Author’s Note:

Nanny for the SEALs is a stand-alone reverse harem with a mixture of romance, humor, and even suspense. There are multiple partner scenes, so make sure that not only is your Kindle ready, but you have a towel nearby too as you read this hot stand-alone HEA.

1

Katie

DON’T DO THIS, Katie!

I read the text my BFF, Dawn, had sent me three hours ago. She told me not to follow my boyfriend Ben, but I had to find out for myself. I was working two jobs to pay the rent and everything else in L.A. since we moved here three years ago. I’d left my family and friends to live in this city, and I was exhausted. Ben told me he’d had an acting offer, and I left Ohio and every dream I ever had to be with him.

You support my dream, and then when I hit it big, I’ll support yours.

That was the deal we made when we left home. Now I knew he was cheating on me. I felt it in my bones and I smelled it on the perfume on his clothes. He had auditions all the time and we argued. I mean, we used to argue before, but not like now. Now it was different, everything was different, and I didn’t mind working so much because I had a dream—we had a dream—but I was tired.

Tired of being taken for a fool.

It was a Saturday night. What agency would call someone to go for an audition at eleven p.m. on a Saturday night?

None.

I had exactly six hours and counting until my morning shift started at the diner, and instead of catching up on some well-deserved rest, I was following Ben.

I pulled up my beat-up SUV, which was clearly on its last legs. It’d nearly died on the way here, and Ben had accused me of being too sentimental and promised to replace it with a new one once he hit it big.

I coughed as I thought about all the lies he’d told me. I hadn’t eaten in the last two days—well, not exactly starving since I’d had a couple of candy bars, but I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a meal.

I turned off the engine, put my overgrown dark bangs behind my ears, and took a deep breath. It was then that I walked closer to the building Ben had stopped at, and realized it was a strip club.

What the hell was he doing here?

Curiosity got the better of me as I crossed the road and hovered at the side of the curb. Ben high-fived the bouncer as if they were old friends. He looked hot in his dark shirt and matching pants. The same ones I bought for him when I could have done with clothes myself, but he needed to look decent for auditions—that was what he told me. But instead, he wore his decent clothes to a strip club.

A blonde girl with a clipboard came out, hovering along the streets and complaining to the bouncer. I drew closer to hear what was being said.

“She’s late. So damn late. The guys are going to kill me!” she screamed. Like everyone in L.A., she was blonde, beautiful, tall, had long legs, and a gold-sequined hotpants just to emphasize her long legs.

The tall bouncer said, “Well, they shouldn’t have brought their kids to work.”

“I know, but it’s not their fault, and I told them I had it all under control.”

“What time should the nanny have been here… Excuse me?”

The last part of the conversation was directed at me. The streets, which were once empty, were filling, so I drew closer so I could hear what they were talking about easier. All I could think about was getting inside. Clearly, I couldn’t go in as a stripper—I was wearing jeans, no make-up, a pink shirt, and compared to her, I was on a completely different level. Cleaner did spring to mind, but then I had no idea how it all worked in a strip club.

Nanny.

They needed a nanny. I’d babysat nearly every kid in my family—and there were one too many kids in my family. Mom used to tease that in a few decades, our family could be a whole town by itself with the way the generations had gone from having one or two babies to at least three to five in each household.

“Yes,” I said weakly, then realized if I needed to convince them, so I had to be more assertive and try to convince her. “I’m from the agency.”

The girl, who was frowning and acting as if her world was coming to an end, suddenly smiled, then frowned. “Well, you’re late. I mean, you should have been here like…” she looked at her phone, “four minutes ago.”

I shrugged. “Sorry, parking was bad.”

“The agency filled you in?” she asked, ignoring my complaint.

I shook my head. “No.”

“Typical. Okay, so you need to take the twins home, get them ready for bed, and that’s it until the guys tell you otherwise. They said depending how well you do tonight, they may make it a full-time gig. Got it?”

I nodded, taking in the information and wondering if this was really a good idea. What if the real nanny showed up?

I didn’t have time to think. I had to move. The girl, who didn’t bother introducing herself—which suited me because I didn’t know what name the agency had given her—started to move into the club.

It was a little quiet; there were one or two people sitting and then at the corner, I saw him. Ben. I ducked my head and moved to the side, hoping she was moving in the opposite direction of him, which she did.

She stopped in her tracks and turned to face me. “Are you listening to me?”

“Sorry, I thought you were on the phone?”

I didn’t, because I was hiding from Ben, but I did see her pick her phone up and hold it to her lips to speak.

“Yeah, I was leaving a voice message.”

Then she carried on walking, got to a black door, turned the key, which was on a chain around her neck, and we were in a dark hallway. I was scared because it was dark, and the echoes of her heels were the only sounds. I turned around, wondering if someone was behind us, but there was no one.

“So, as I was saying before… neither of them have allergies. You’ve got tons of experience, so I don’t need to spell it out to you. It’s late, and when I last checked in on them, they were a bit irritable. Their dad said it was way past their bedtime, but he had no choice but to bring them.”

She stopped to sigh and then kept rambling. I was trying to keep up with her, thinking I really should have eaten today. I started to feel lightheaded, and I was hoping she would halt so I didn’t feel as if I were running a marathon I didn’t opt to compete in.

“Did you get that?”

I nodded, which seemed to be the only way to put her at ease.

“Good. Right, so here we are!”

Thank goodness. I just hoped that they weren’t babies. I could look after any aged kids, but babies seemed to be a hit and miss with me. Any age group, it didn’t matter, just not babies, I repeated in my head.

Then, as the door swung open, I saw two babies in carseats. It dawned on me that I shouldn’t have said it in my head; I should have got down on my knees and fucking prayed!

LUCKILY, I could leave my car in the parking garage, and another car was called to take us out. I should have been relieved about being sent out the back.

What the hell was I thinking?

The only reason I was inside the club in the first place was to spy on Ben. Somehow, in the midst of it all, I forgot why I was there. Now I was holding a carseat with one baby, while holding the other. I didn’t even know their names, and I was thinking about when I was going to have to tell her the truth.

I had to do it. The nanny would show up and my cover would be blown.

“Shit, shit, shit!” she huffed as she picked up speed. “I have to be on in like, two minutes!”

On?

Was she…?

No, she couldn’t be.

Then she swung the exit door open. I was trying to keep up with her; I was wearing sneakers and I couldn’t keep up her pace, especially holding the baby and the carseat. I had to be careful; I couldn’t remember if I strapped him in properly.

She ran past me. “I need to go. The driver is waiting outside. Good luck!”

I lifted the carseat, looked at the baby inside, and decided she had no idea what she meant when she said good luck. I wondered if she was talking to the baby or me.

I took a deep breath as I promised to look after the little soul. He had Steven written on his little hat—something I never noticed before, but she must have put it on. I was too busy thinking about Ben, why I was here, and how the hell to get out of the trap I set myself up in. I reached the door, the one where she left the other baby, and saw a tall, dark-haired man with glasses waiting for us—he must be the driver.

“I was getting worried there,” he said in a deep British accent. “Shit, excuse me. Let me get that. Steven, don’t worry. Rodney’s here.”

It was ironic and funny in a way to see a man who was clearly my dad’s age in a black suit, talking in a baby voice, as he took the seat and strapped it into the back of the Jeep. I wondered for a second if he was going to say something to me, but he didn’t until he was happy that both Steven and the baby he called Rachel were strapped safely at the back of the Jeep.

“Are you okay, luv? You look nervous,” he said as he stretched his arm in my direction as if he was about to give me a hug or something. I didn’t know the man, but in the space of a short time, I couldn’t believe he was showing me more compassion than anyone had since I moved to L.A.

I sniffed. “Ben.”

I didn’t know why I did it, but it was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

“Dear, he’s a jerk. I told Candy that she’s better off without him. I don’t even get what the girls see in him. Chris Hemsworth, one of the girls said, but just a darker version.”

It was then that it dawned on me as his words were pouring out that he’d told me all I needed to hear to get me into the car and as far away from here as possible.

He wrapped his arm around me. While we were nearly the same height, he made me feel as if he was bigger and, oh my, he had some big biceps covered in his dark blue suit.

“Please don’t tell me… he stole money from you, too?”

“Just my heart.”

He sighed. “That’s a big price to pay. Look, take this and wipe your tears.” He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. “Let’s get these little ones in bed. Okay?”

I nodded as I took the handkerchief and wiped my tears. I couldn’t believe, in this day and age, that men still walked around with them. He was a driver, but then, he was different from any man I’d ever known. Men in my family were not cavemen, but they wouldn’t hold the door open as I stepped into the Jeep, let alone as I sat down. Nor would they make sure I was strapped before they started the engine.

Rodney was polite, and I loved the way he was comforting me during my time of need. So maybe I wasn’t a nanny, and I had nowhere to stay—because one thing was for sure, I wasn’t about to move back in with Ben. I would go for my things tomorrow after asking my new boss if I can take a couple of hours to sort things out. I just hoped he would be reasonable about it.

“One thing you don’t have to worry about, and I’m not sure if the agency told you, but the Steeles are great guys.”

“Steeles?”

“Yeah, your new employers. They’re generous and kind, even if they appear all stiff and moody on the outside. Well, Stan is anyway. My point is—cause I do love to ramble, joys of being Scottish—you need to look after those two angels and put the past behind you. The Steeles will take care of you and make sure you’re well looked after, which is a lot more than could be said for Ben. I swear, that guy would try selling a coffin to a dead person, and then claim a tax rebate. He’s so shady.”

Rodney had answered my question, but then raised another. Why did he say my employers, as in plural? Did it mean there was more than one?

Of course, he must have been talking about a couple. Then again, why would he describe them as tough on the outside? I listened as Rodney rambled; he said it annoyed most people in his family, but he didn’t realize how funny he was, especially to someone as sad as I was.

2

Rick

“I SWEAR, Stan, sometimes you have that iPad stuffed so far up your butt, you don’t think straight!” I screamed at my brother after I’d just seen Diamond, who told me that the nanny had come to pick up the twins.

“What did you want me to do? Besides, Bianca said she could come tonight. You should be thanking me that I got her on such short notice!”

Was he fucking kidding me?

We spent ages hiring her. Bianca was the perfect fit, and I didn’t want to alienate her before she officially started her new role. He took off his glasses, sighed, and looked at me. My brother spent too much time in front of the screen; so much so that he preferred to send messages to us rather than talk face-to-face most of the time, which annoyed the hell out of Pete and me.

“You should have stayed at home and waited for Bianca to start on Monday like I’d planned. Not a fucking Saturday night! Why was that so fucking hard? I don’t get why you dragged yourself to the club to do what you do ninety-nine percent of the time, which is just sit and watch the screen.”

He stood and grabbed his iPad as if it was a precious jewel. “I told you, I had the new security system installed, and I want to see if it works the way it is supposed to work.”

“How the fuck are you going to do that if you’re just sitting and watching the screen?”

I huffed. “I’m going to do my rounds, then go check them out. If all is okay, I’ll go home.”

He shook his head as he approached the door, the same one I was standing in front of, blocking his exit.

“I told you I wasn’t ready to be a dad, yet he decided to go down this route. They’re your kids, you look after them. You’re lucky I brought them to the club. I could have left them at home.”

“With whom?”

He chuckled. “The doorman… it’s not like I haven’t done it before.”

I moved out of his way before I did or said anything else that I would regret. This was exactly the same reason he was dismissed as a SEAL. He got so out of hand and they gave him an honorable dismissal, but it was clear he’d gone over the edge; unlike Pete and me, who were dismissed with PTSD. He moved his hair behind his ears as if to challenge me. My brother was no match for me; we both knew that. He spent most of his time eating Twinkies and sitting in front of his computer, which I was sure was the reason why he was dying to go home. It was as if he was married to the damn thing.

I tried to gain my composure as I thought about Stan. He’d gone from one extreme to the other over the last three years, and I didn’t know how to get him back.

“Anything special on your mind?” Pete said. He put his hand on my shoulder as he walked through the door.

“Shit, I was miles away.”

He nodded. “I could see. Just saw Stan leave. You guys arguing again?”

“You won’t believe this… He has crossed the line, and told Bianca to start on the weekend. I mean, we told her at the interview that there would be no working on the weekends. He’s so out of order.”

“Look, don’t worry about it. If it doesn’t work out, and she’s pissed about starting on a Saturday and not the Monday, then we will get a new one,” Pete said. “You know it’s not good for you to get stressed. You need to calm down. It’s not the end of the world. We’re here during the week, so we can keep an eye on her, or even better, we can get Stan to do it.”

I looked at him, thinking I was usually the voice of reason, but I couldn’t help myself for being so protective—after all, they were my kids.

I sighed. I didn’t need to tell my brother; he thought more like me, apart from the fact he loved getting his hands dirty. He was a builder, and the one who renovated this place. He loved his design and the passion he’d put into the renovation of the strip club, but I could tell he was desperate to have a new project underway.

I walked to my desk, the one Stan had been sitting behind. He made it clear he didn’t want any involvement in the club, so he didn’t want an office, but now he was spending more time here than I was.

“You’re looking sharp. You stripping, too?” I asked as I caught a glimpse of him in his white tux. Pete was naturally built that way, unlike me, who spent a little too much time jogging or in the gym.

“Yeah, I want to look the part tonight. I think after tonight I’ll take a complete step back.”

This was a conversation I knew was coming, but I was hoping it would wait at least a couple of months until the club was really up and running, and we could take a step back.

“We still need to hire a manager.”

He pointed at me. “Diamond says Bianca came, if she didn’t want to start today, then she wouldn’t have turned up, especially this time of the night. So, at least that’s one thing sorted.”

I frowned as I thought about not being hands-on as I’d been for the last five months. They were young, but I would be missing them starting to crawl, their first steps, and all the exciting things that parents look forward to being a part of.

“Yeah, but we should have met her. She wasn’t due to start till Monday. We showed her around the penthouse, but if she has any questions, we’re not home to answer them.”

He nodded. “I know, but you know Stan and babies. I mean, he can barely hold a conversation with an adult, let alone a baby.”

“Who would have thought he was an ex-SEAL by the way he carries on.”

He laughed. “He was a SEAL like us, but let’s face it, he was the computer guy, the one who fixed all our communications, but he was never on the field.”

I agreed, knowing he was right, but that didn’t stop me from worrying about him.

“You tried having a girlfriend, and look how that turned out. Babies were not going to change him overnight. He needs time. He lost too many friends, like we did on the field. He’s not like us. He’s sensitive like Mom. Just give him time.”

I inhaled, thinking I had too much on my plate now to be babysitting Stan, as well as the twins.

“Besides, he made it clear from the start that he wasn’t ready to be a dad.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “Oh yeah, what did he say again? He’s in his prime. Still in his twenties, which will come to a dramatic end in six months. But then he walks around like someone in his nineties, eating too much candy and drinking too much beer. As if he’s waiting for his time to come to an end.”

He whispered, “Just like Mom.”

No, I had to change the tone. This was too depressing. We were running a strip club, our dream from when we served abroad. We went to so many, it was the only thing that kept us going, not having to think of our reality but being in a club and living in some secret fantasy.

“Right, I need to get out of here, and so do you. Drinks at the bar. Once over there, let’s see how this place is doing and which girl should be a manager. I think I have my eye on Diamond.”

I laughed, knowing my brother had more than just his eye on Diamond.

“No, not like that. I never mix business with pleasure; besides, I’m a professional.”

I stood, ready to leave my office. I needed to loosen up. I was worried about the twins, but I saw the agency details, and we interviewed her and when she did come to the penthouse, she looked as if she knew what she was doing. I had to stop being the control freak I was often accused of being. While I denied it, I couldn’t help that I wanted perfection, maybe just not all the time.

Pete’s dark eyes met mine. “Don’t even think about calling the nanny. She’s with Rodney, and if anything’s up, he’ll call. I trust that man with my life, you know that.”

“Yeah, we should, too. We owe too much to him. After all, he saved your life, big brother. I don’t know where I would fucking be without you.” I paused as the nightmare of the past flashed through my mind.

I brushed it to the side. “Anyway, Rodney will be going back to Scotland soon, I’m going to miss him. Even if he has had his fun here, and it’s time for him to go back home.”

“Me too. I don’t like the tone of the conversation. Take a break, and let’s get out of here and get a drink.”

He didn’t need to convince me or tell me twice. I was in dire need of one. I wasn’t much of a drinker, but sometimes, in times like these, it did more than calm my nerves. It made me forget the nightmares of my past.

3

Stan

I HATED the way Rick treated me sometimes, as if I was some kind of delicate flower he had to protect and preserve all the time. He ignored Mom and after her suicide, I suppose he is worried that I’d do the same thing. I didn’t know. We never talked about it, and whenever we did try talking, it would always end up in an argument.

We should have helped her in some way. Rick felt it would have happened sooner rather than when it did, because he’d read up on it and at times, people are suicidal all the time. They think about it all the time. I knew it wasn’t true because I’d thought about it, but not all the time.

I was checking around the club, and while it was bringing people in, it just was not as many as my brothers had expected. The business side of the club was Rick’s department, but he had some ideas he was trying to pull together. If he wanted to know about social media, then he would run them by me. He never talked to me unless it meant giving me instructions or finding out about technology. Three years ago, we were never that way; it was amazing how things could change in a short span of time.

I decided to head out. I didn’t want to see my brothers at the bar, nor did I want to hang out with them. Besides, in all honesty, I hated places like this; it reminded me of being on the field, not that they cared when they said they were opening the club. I told them I didn’t want to be a part of it. I wanted our time on the field to be truly forgotten, not to glorify or relive it.

“Pete, can you give a hand?” I turned from the back door and saw Diamond.

“Shoot, sorry, thought you were Pete.”

I shrugged, thinking how the hell she got the two of us confused. Pete was built like a tank with his athletic build, and his hair was always well-groomed. I was on the chubby side, and my hair was always growing out, so no one could see my supposedly dreamy emerald eyes. There was nothing dreamy about me. I hated whenever someone complimented me because I didn’t see beauty, only the fucking beast.

“No. And I wish you wouldn’t get us confused.”

For some crazy reason, I tucked my shirt into my pants and then headed out of the door, not waiting for her response. It was a cold thing to say to her after she helped me out with the twins, but I had no friends and frankly, I wasn’t interested in having any.

I moved away from the club, not feeling the need to apologize or even tell my brothers I was leaving. My phone chimed and I looked at it—the security system was working so there was no need for me to be here. I could go back to doing the thing I loved most—being online and degrading every new app or venture that was coming out. I felt that every time I thought of something, someone else had invented it long before me.

I’d lost enthusiasm to do anything I enjoyed doing. I didn’t know if it made me feel better, or just was a distraction from the darkness inside of me. Something inside me had died, and I should have been scared that it wouldn’t live again. Yet, I didn’t. I felt the complete opposite, as if I wanted all of me to be dead with it. I had nothing to live for. Rick was the father of the twins, not me. No one liked, let alone loved me anymore.

I TURNED on some music to get me in the mood once I hit home. I had to stop at the store, or maybe I could get delivery to satisfy my sweet tooth and my recent obsession with pepperoni pizza. I just hoped Bianca, the new nanny, would have the kids in bed, and even better, would be in bed herself.

Rodney sent a message in our group chat saying he was on his way to the club. He’d tried to take the place of being our big brother after rescuing Pete after he nearly put his foot in a landmine. He got on well with Pete and Rick, but me…? No, I didn’t get on with anyone, which suited me just fine. Either way, he would be out of here and back home in his beloved Scotland. I overheard him telling Rick about his family back home getting older and wanting to be with his mom before she passed away, he didn’t want to repeat the same mistake of being on the field and missing the years he could have spent with his dad before he passed away.

Within twenty minutes, I’d be home. I stopped at a stoplight and quickly ordered pizza, along with two tubs of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate ice cream. It put a big fat smile on my face. I was going to be home, and hopefully, as soon as I got to the penthouse, my food would be at the door at the same time.

The streets were filled with people going to parties, lovers holding hands, and everyone being in a good mood—something I would be once I got home. It was a Saturday night, but tonight was no different from any other night for me.

I did the same thing every day—apart from today since I had to leave the penthouse. Rick was right; I didn’t need to leave. I could have checked from home, but it would have meant being stuck with the twins. I would rather take my oversized body out of the penthouse than stay with my nephew and niece.

I felt empty, cold, and alone as the thought repeated inside my head. I didn’t need to treat them that way; after all, they were innocent in the grand scheme of things. They didn’t ask to be born. It wasn’t their fault that my brother was careless and had unprotected sex.

As I reached the building and entered the apartment block, I decided I would make an effort tomorrow. After the feast I would indulge in tonight, I’d probably feel better not eating pizza for one night.

Maybe I should do like Pete said, and treat my body like a temple. Maybe it would actually make me feel better on the inside. Training for the SEALs, I felt like that because I had to. When I was there on the field, though, I stayed behind the screen, helping with the networks and ensuring everyone was hooked up. We could tap into the enemy’s network, but then they got rid of me. I’d started messing up. Connecting and then getting caught. I began to get jealous of the others on the field, like Pete and Rick. After all that training, they felt my purpose, my rightful place was behind a screen.

I couldn’t be sitting in, eating myself to death. Now there was no purpose, no end goal, and I didn’t sense the need to be this person. The one I had to pretend to be.

I slowly crawled out of my Porsche, thinking it was either getting smaller or I really was getting bigger, and then locked the door. The reflection in front of me wasn’t pretty.

Nearly sixty pounds heavier, hair overgrown, beard the same, and my skin made the pizza look better than my face. Shit, I had so much acne, there was nothing attractive about me anymore, and I was reminded of it every time I looked at my brothers.

Why, oh why, did we have to be triplets?

Even my damn shirt, which was an XXXL, made me look as if I had boobs. Man boobs.

Errh!

No, tonight would be the last pizza until I at least lost half of the weight, then I would look to get back into shape again. I was down this slippery slope, and as I entered the elevator, I decided I had enough looking at my reflection for today. I put in the key to take me up to the penthouse and I closed my eyes. The only thing I needed to focus was getting up to the top. The doorman would take the pizza, and he’d put it in the elevator as he’d been doing every night.

As soon as I heard the door chime, I knew I was there and a big smile appeared on my face… until I saw the person on the other side.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“The nanny.” She quivered as I walked out of the elevator, and she took a step back.

I shook my head. “You’re not Bianca.”

It was clear she wasn’t the girl Rick had interviewed. He said he’d hit the lottery by getting someone like her to work for him. The one he’d hired came from Spain. She worked with one prestigious family who gave her glowing references. The only reason she left them was because the dad had a job in Japan, and she came to America to improve her English, so she stayed. She was at least five foot seven, and she’d been to the penthouse twice. She was due to start on Monday. The only reason she was due to start today was because I texted the girl at the agency and asked if they could contact her. They said she did, so where the fuck was Bianca, and who was she? I knew she wasn’t Bianca—especially since I had already met her—and this girl was at least a few inches shorter than her, had dark hair, and looked as if she finished her shift at a diner or something because she had more grease stains on her black shirt than I did. Talking of food, she looked as if she could do with eating all or even half of the pizza I had ordered since her clothes hung on her.

She replied, “No.”

I knew I shouldn’t have got involved in this mess. I could imagine Rick and Pete having something else to throw at me. They would have a dig and call me heartless for leaving the kids with some stranger. I didn’t; I thought I left them with Bianca.

I was about to say something, but the doorman rang about the pizza. I would deal with her later; food came first, and I’d dealt with enough shit tonight. I couldn’t deal with anything more, not until after I’d eaten.

4

Stan

RICK WOULD FLIP if he found out the truth. I had to think of a way for her to stay. I remembered seeing Bianca, and she was all nice to Pete and Rick, but when she saw me, she looked as if she was going to burst out in fits of laughter.

I remembered the way her eyes looked at me. Are you sure you’re triplets?

I looked in the mirror before leaving my room to face the nanny, the fake nanny. I had two choices, I could call the agency and tell them about Bianca. I wondered if she was still at the club or if something had happened to her? Or I could get Katie to stay with his kids.

There was a shyness about her, one that made me feel as if she was meant to be here. I could relate to the idea of being in a city where everyone wants to be known, but like me, she wants to shy away from it all.

Her mission is to survive, which is the reason she pretended to be a nanny, but she wasn’t. I need to know more about her before my brothers come home, and then not only would I be in trouble for leaving the twins in a strip club, but she would be, too. Rick wasn’t the kind of guy to just say, “Hey, you’re not the nanny, be on your way.”

He was more the kind of guy who would not only lock her in the bathroom, but call the police and file a complaint about her. Everything was done by the book, which was why he didn’t last like us all in the marines. He couldn’t take an order from his commanding officer, which resulted in his dismissal with PTSD. We both know the only ones who have it officially are Pete and me, but when you cross the top boss in the marines, everyone knows you have to leave. If you don’t, then you’ll be forced to do so.

I decided I needed to get up early—for the first time in five years—and find Katie. I had to tell her she could stay, or at least on trial and we would work things out.

I jumped out of bed wearing the same shirt and pants I’d been out in the night before. I thought about changing for a split second, but I’d been doing it for so long—sleeping and going out in the same clothes for days, if I actually did go out. Anyway, this girl, Katie wasn’t my girlfriend. Just someone who would be helping me out.

I did decide to at least brush my teeth and wash my face. I would be standing in close contact. Sure, Stan and Pete would definitely be sleeping, but I didn’t want them to hear the conversation which was going to take place. Actually, to make sure the plan—which I’d thought about in my head taking place—I decided I wouldn’t come across as the ogre that Rick said I’d been in the club. Part of the reason he didn’t want me to be that active with the club was due to me being more demanding. I’d been like this since forever; I’d forgotten how to be human or normal as Pete had so delicately put it a couple of times.

I was brushed, even decided to comb my hair a bit. I shook my head at the idea of it. I was really acting as if I was going on a date. My hands were trembling and I was feeling nervous about being face-to-face with her again. I’d been in the damn marines. Why the hell was I scared off a little woman. She was petite, and then I became even more nervous wondering if she was of age.

I opened my door, and I could hear her in the kitchen, with not only one twin, but both of them strapped up.

I hurried toward the noise they were making. I could hear laughter and her singing. One thing was for sure, I hoped her nanny skills were better than her singing skills.

She turned to face me. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

I shook my head. “You didn’t.”

She smiled. “I think this is their feeding time because they were getting cranky, so I decided to give them something to eat.”

“They shouldn’t be eaten solids, just milk.”

Well that was what I’d heard Pete and Rick argue about one time at least, when Pete tried to give them a bit of his banana.

“No. They’re fine. I think some people just like reading too many books and not looking at the kids themselves. Look at Rachel. She’s loving it.”

I could see Rachel’s hand stretching out and aiming the spoon into her mouth. She didn’t need Katie to do it for her, it was clear she had the knack for it.

“I guess you’re right. I don’t know anything about kids.”

She ignored me as she continued to feed them. I saw her bend down, singing, as I drew nearer, no more did I think of her singing as being so bad. I had no idea if it was a nursery rhyme or a song from the latest fad show all kids loved to watch, but the twins loved it. Steven felt like a reflection of myself as he sat back and smiled at her. She was wearing a black shirt, which clung to her body, and leggings, her butt was tight as if she worked out, and even her arms were in good shape as she magically moved around the kitchen like she’d lived here for years.

She spun to me, as if she remembered something and then whispered loudly, even for me to hear,

“You’ve changed your mind?”

She held the plate and spoon in each hand as if she was ready for me to tell her to leave.

“No. I want to go to Starbucks and we can talk.”

She nodded. “I was worried for a minute.”

I smiled as best I could to reassure her, even though it felt completely uncomfortable doing it.

“Get the twins ready, and we’ll be out of here.”

Again, she nodded, but then I started to pick up pace as I headed to my room. I felt like some kind of pervert as I realized I was getting turned-on by watching her butt go up and down as she fed the kids.

No. This was only about doing something to benefit each other, nothing more and certainly nothing less.

AS WE SAT down in Starbucks, I spun around and noticed I was the only guy with a girl with a stroller. It was buzzing with moms seeming to catch-up on their daily gossip. How the twins could sleep through the noise of their chatter and laughter was beyond my comprehension.

“I’ll get the sofa in the corner,” Katie said as we entered.

“What do you want to eat and drink?”

“Oh no, a drink will do.”

She was thinking about me spending on her, and I was thinking about not eating alone. I’d gone to the trouble of changing my shirt and even styled my hair for the occasion. I wouldn’t let it go to the waste when I had a Starbucks donut and muffin on my mind.

“You haven’t eaten all day, you must be hungry.”

She giggled. “It’s only nine. Fine… a croissant with a cappuccino.”

Before I could ask the size of the cappuccino, she rushed to the sofa were two moms were packing to leave. I wondered how many times she’d been here; she seemed to know her way around.

I ordered a large of everything and as she wanted a croissant, I decided I would get one, too. I was hungry, but seeing all the cakes, muffins, and my favorite treats in front of my eyes made it hard to resist. I never ate in front of any stranger, let alone in public like this, but today even if it was only nine in the morning, I needed to eat more.

“Wow, what a line!” I said as I headed to the table, and put down the tray. I waited for her to say something once she finished with the twins. Nothing, but her eyes lit up as she looked at the tray.

“Hm, I haven’t had one of those in forever.”

“What, the croissant?” I asked as I placed it down in front of her.

She shook her head, laughing nervously.

“No, the chocolate chip muffin. They were my favorite when I first moved here. I remember Ben and I used to come here all the time. At first, he would let me order one…”

Her eyes were no longer laughing, but it was as if sadness filled them.

“No, have mine. I have enough.”

“I couldn’t do that. Besides, I need to lose some weight.”

My mouth was filled with the croissant and I nearly choked on it. “Lose weight? There’s nothing on you.”

She shrugged. “Why do you think I’m wearing black. Apparently, it hides the edges.”

I thought for a second that she was trying to make fun of me, but as her eyes looked longingly at my muffin, I realized she was deadly serious.

“Have a muffin. Have a day off from the diet you don’t need to be on. Okay?”

She nodded like a kid excited about getting told they can have ice cream for being a good girl.

“Just one. I can bake one even better than this. I haven’t done that in so long and your kitchen is fantastic. Actually, when we get back to the penthouse, I’ll do just that.”

I watched as she devoured the muffin as if her life depended on it. Pretty much the same thing I’d done with the pizza last night. It calmed my nerves, which was the only reason I ate so much. She was eating as if she hadn’t eaten all week.

“That was so good. Thanks for sharing.”

I looked down and realized only my hot chocolate was left, and as much as I was tempted to get another muffin, I would leave that until I was alone. In the time she spent eating my muffin, I’d managed to finish the croissant, donut and some danish the server said I should try. It was chocolate, how could I resist?

“So, let’s get this straight. You’re not a qualified nanny?”

She shook her head.

“So, how did you end up at the club?”

“I was following my boyfriend, Ben. My ex… not that he knows.” She paused, either waiting for a reaction, but I said nothing, encouraging her to continue her story.

“I thought he was cheating on me. Then the bouncer asked if I was the nanny. I hated doing it, but I lied, and then Rodney brought me to your home.”

I didn’t say a word. I could tell eye contact and lying were a thing she struggled with, and the realization we had more in common became apparent as she tied her ponytail up into a bun.

“I can cook, clean, look after the twins. I mean, you don’t even have to pay me,” she stuttered as she met my eyes. She was nervous about something. At first, I thought it was me, but the more she talked, I realized had nothing to do with me and only to do with Ben.

“Ben would tell me another lie. Like he always did… he’s spending time with other actresses, they could help him get a lead. Besides, he could never invite me because I needed to lose weight or I was too skinny, or not pretty enough to be an actress.”

Now, the weight thing made sense. It was her ex who made her feel insecure. What a jerk!

“Really, there’s nothing on you. I don’t even know where you could lose it from,” I said and then I pinched my stomach, as if to show her, if someone needed to lose weight, for sure, it was me. She giggled, and then waved her hand as if to say, it wasn’t that bad. It was, and part of me didn’t really care that much until now. I felt humiliated showing my stomach like that, especially because I wore clothes so big to hide it.

“So, you can cook and look after the twins. Rick’s the father, but I’ll pay you extra for it.”

She jumped up and wrapped her arms around me. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,” she said excitedly as I pulled her away from me. Embarrassed that she’d made contact with me, and she could probably smell my body odor because I hadn’t washed in days.

“You won’t regret it.”

She was right about that. I made us leave so we could come up with a plan. I had to get out of here, because if I saw one more person sitting near us eating a muffin or any pastry, I could end up turning into a monster and grabbing every last one of them and stuffing them all in my mouth.

5

Katie

I HAD A PLACE TO LIVE, and a job being a nanny to the twins. Rick said that he would be with the twins this afternoon. I’d only been on the job for five days, and so far, apart from being nervous every day that Stan would change his mind, he seemed to be quieter and I noticed he was nothing but a gentle giant.

I changed my clothes after his comment about black. I did come to L.A. three years ago with some clothes I’d never worn, but they were still in the apartment I shared with Ben. Stan was kind and gave me some money—he wanted to give me a thousand dollars, but I told him it was too much. It was more than my salary working in the diner. It felt wrong to take so much money from him, seeing as I was living here and eating for free. So, we settled on half of that, in case I was out and needed to get something for the twins.

I bought a couple of shirts for myself, the twins, and even shoes. I was wearing the beat-up sneakers I’d worn that night when I was working in the diner or walking around my apartment block. But here in a fancy penthouse, it just felt completely out of place.

I text my BFF and she said she had an hour free for lunch and we should grab something to eat at Palermo’s, which was near the diner. We worked there, and the last thing we wanted to do during or even after a shift was eat there. Even if the food was pretty good for L.A., we always craved another type of scenery.

“Hey,” Dawn screamed as we met outside the diner. “Look at you, all Miss Fancy in your fancy shoes and dress.”

Oh yeah, I bought a dress, too. One I couldn’t resist, because it was pink—something Ben said I should never wear because it made me look too pale.

“Oh my, showing the cleavage, the one you keep under wraps all the time. Come here and give me a hug.”

She wrapped her arms around me, and I must admit, I couldn’t comment about her style because to me, she looked exactly the same. The same peroxide blonde hair, piercing, goth style, and wearing it so naturally. Ben used to hate that she was my friend, He would always comment about being confused about her style and having a friend who had no idea on class.

“You’ve only gone away for a few days, yet I can finally feel some meat on you.”

“Don’t say that!” I pulled away from her.

She cupped my face. “You could do with putting on a few pounds, babes. Being all sticks and bones is not good for you. Not healthy.”

“I’m not skinny,” I said defensively. “There’s no way, I’m skinny. I’m not exactly a size zero.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. You know I didn’t. Sometimes, as Mom says, I’m too blunt and some don’t like it. You look good, Katie. Beautiful. Your eyes are lit up, and you’re wearing pink and not some busted-up sneakers and not dressed in black.”

I teased her, “You wear black all the time.”

“But, in my case, it’s some fashion statement. In your case, it’s cause your messed-up ex told you, you were fat and he hated plus-size girls, so you decided to not eat and act as if you’re not a plus-sized girl. Just crazy.”

The only thing which ever bought tension between us was whenever Ben’s name was involved.

“We eating at Palermo’s right?”

I nodded as she enveloped my arm and we headed down the main street. She was talking about her latest gig. She worked at the diner, but like most in L.A., it was her way to earn money while she tried to follow her real dream—her love of music.

“Yeah, I’m starving, and after you said not only would we go there, but your treat… Well, I couldn’t refuse, could I? What kinda girl would I be?”

She fluttered her eyelashes as if she was trying to show her innocence. I knew she was far from innocent, especially when it came to matters of the heart.

As we paused at the traffic light waiting to cross. She said, “I’m happy when you’re happy. You know that.”

I nodded, thinking maybe I’d been too harsh earlier.

“How the heck did you go from working in a diner, working two jobs, to now being a nanny? I swear, K, your life is more adventurous than mine, and I work in a diner, and play in a band.”

I smiled. This was by far the most exciting thing which had happened to me since I moved to L.A.

“Well, they are ex-SEALs—”

She lifted her hand up to stop me from talking, the light turned green, ready for us to cross, but we stood there frozen.

“They?”

“Yeah, there’s three of them.”

“Shut up!”

I laughed. “I’m not kidding. I live with three hot SEALs.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. What do they look like?”

“Well, they’re triplets, and they have emerald eyes and dark hair, but one of them has long hair. I don’t know exactly how old they are… I’m looking after the twins not them, after all.”

She giggled. “We need to get to the restaurant soon.”

As the lights changed once again, we headed to the other side of the street.

“I need a drink and something to eat. I can’t believe you’ve left your narcissistic boyfriend to go and live with three SEALs.”

I decided to put her straight, she seemed to think there was some romantic interest. None of them had showed me that. Rick had me looking after the twins, Stan had me cooking and pretending it was all by him, and Pete… Well, I still hadn’t met him.

“Nope, I moved to get away from my cheating boyfriend and figure out my next move. I can’t go back home, because well, Mom told me not to leave, and I did it anyway. I’m not exactly welcome there and I have no where else to go.”

She winked at me. “Keep telling yourself that. Your mom wouldn’t want you on the street. If you went home, she would welcome you with open arms. All moms would do that to their kids if they had lost the place they were staying in. And from what you told me about your mom, she doesn’t seem heartless. The only reason you’re in the penthouse and looking after the twins is because you’re homeless and have no where else to go. Please! This is why you’re wearing the sexy pink number and do you have lipstick on, too? I’ve never seen you wear make-up. Come on, let’s eat. We’ve worked up an appetite and I want to know more about these SEALs that you have got you looking like a sexy nanny.”

We headed in the direction of Palermo’s. Dawn couldn’t stop giggling, and it was starting to get contagious. I was just happy to see her, a familiar face, someone I could confide in and she would never judge me. Well, not judge me with anything apart from Ben. She hated him with a vengeance, and he felt the same way about her. He called her a bad influence, but clearly, I’d had a wake-up call. She was light while he was the darkness in my life, and now I was making way for light and happiness.

6

Pete

“DAMN! Someone looks like they had a good time,” I said as the elevator doors opened and I saw Katie on the other side.

Katie had been with us for two weeks, and so far, she really seemed to be enjoying her time not only with us, but the twins, too. Rick did complain that she wasn’t Bianca, but I would say she was fitting in nicely.

She ran to me, leaving the twins near in their playpen, and smiled as her dark eyes glowed. “I have a surprise for you.”

She took my hand, and like a kid on Christmas Day, taking her lead, I ran with her. I didn’t object and I must admit, I was excited even though I had no idea why she was so excited.

Steven gave me a smile as he saw me look down on them from the pen, but Rachel gave a frown. She knew I wasn’t Rick. It was as if the little one had a sixth sense or something, and only saved her smiles for her dad.

“Watch!” Katie whispered as she took Rachel out and then put her on the rug. It was then that I noticed as Katie stretched out her little hands to be pulled out, the twins or rather Rachel, could do something new.

“Yes, Rachel we’re going to show Daddy what you can do.”

I was about to correct her and tell her I wasn’t Rick, but before the words even left my mouth, I realized what she was so excited about. Rachel sat on the floor, then with her back to me, she spun around and then started to crawl to my feet with all the confidence in the world.

“Holy—”

I stopped myself from swearing, because if Rick heard me, he would kill me. Besides I didn't want my nephew and niece’s first words to be a curse word. No, I would never live it down, and I would hate myself for it. She reached my feet, then I could see her bright eyes go dark as she took it a step further and tried to stand up. Every time she did, I couldn’t help but smile at her.

“See, I told you. Nearly six months, impressive, right?”

My head spun to Katie, but then I got distracted as her low top revealed her breasts which were on display. It was as if she realized my eyes were on them, and then quickly shot up. I felt like a jerk for noticing it, but I couldn’t help myself.

“You had a haircut?” I quizzed as she took the frustrated Rachel from my leg as she pounded on it, as if it was my feet’s fault that she couldn’t stand up.

“No.” She smiled and then as Rachel wrestled with her, Rachel attempted this time, not to go for my leg, but the sofa. She was so bright, I watched as she wiggled with her pampers on display in her pink baby dress as she crawled to the sofa and then once again, she tried to stand up.

“She’s so determined. It’s amazing.” Katie smiled as her focus was on Rachel, but mine was on her.

She looked different, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Did you dye your hair then?” I said still trying to figure out why she looked different. If she hadn’t cut it, then what was it?

“No,” she said again, and she must have realized she was being cold whenever I talked about her hair, so she sighed as she drew closer toward me. “I wouldn’t cut my hair. I used to wear it short when I was younger, and Ben would always say that I looked like a boy, so I stopped. I didn’t even think about doing it since he said that to me.”

Fuck me!

I realized why she looked different, she had her hair down. At the same time, I thought Ben was such a jerk. How can a beauty like Katie ever look like a boy? Her perky nose and thin jaw line and long neck—and every time I saw it, I wanted to nibble it. A strange fetish that I’d never possessed in my life. Maybe, because apart from our mom, I’d never lived with a woman.

Even if she was being hired to look after the twins, I didn’t think of her as staff. No, the twins loved her like crazy, even if the first week she refused to eat with us. She would eat with us at times, but not all the time.

A strange feeling for someone who hardly knew.

“This Ben was a J.E.R.K. You shouldn’t think about what he used to say to you. You’re beautiful. I couldn’t imagine you looking like anything but the flower you are, even if you cut your hair.”

I decided to rescue Rachel before she screamed at the top of her lungs and scared the living daylights out of everyone in L.A. She had a mouth… a very big mouth. When she was as frustrated as she was, like a volcano, she would turn red as she was doing right now, and then explode like one.

She struggled as if her life depended on it as I held her in my arms. I knew there was only one reason she was doing it—she was sleepy.

“It’s her nap time, that’s why she’s cranky.”

Steven, on the other hand, was fast asleep, and she put a blanket over him. Rachel had to leave before she woke her brother up.

Katie ignored Rachel’s struggles, and she took her in her arms and headed toward her room. She put the baby monitor in her back pocket, and I followed her like a lost child. I watched as she started whispering and comforting Rachel. No more was she frustrated and screaming. No, she was calming down as Katie blew into her ears. The more she blew, the more Rachel became at peace, no more fighting Katie.

It was interesting and amazing watching her. I couldn’t take my eyes of her; she was a natural and as much as I thought Bianca was the right one for the twins, I could see, Katie was excellent with them.

She laid the sleepy Rachel in her crib, and as quick as she entered, once again she put the blanket over her, and grabbed the other baby monitor.

She smiled at me, her dark eyes looked relieved as we both backed away, and she closed the door. Once she shut the door, I couldn’t help myself. For some reason, I pressed my lips on hers, without warning nor invitation.

I expected her to protest, tell me I was out of order, as I realized my invasion and decided it wasn’t gentlemen like, and I should have asked permission or something. She was the twins nanny, not some girl I just met in the bar.

She said nothing as I pulled away, so this time, I crushed my face against her, sandwiching her body between the door and my chest. My tongue explored her mouth greedily, darting and teasing, while my fingers prowled along her shoulders, her back, and the nape of her neck.

That neck.

The sexy one, in which I’d wanted to nibble and kiss from the first time I met her. She kissed me back as best she could, I knew I was too powerful. I should have been gentle, but I couldn’t help showing my passion and possession in which I had over her.

I was getting harder by the second, as we started to bang on the door. I could tell we were making too much noise, but I didn’t care, as she wrapped her arms over me, dropping the baby monitor she had in her hand.

It made a loud crashing sound, and we both paused, wondering if we woke one of the twins up.

Nothing.

We decided to carry on what we started, until we heard a scream. We’d woken Rachel up. I pulled away, knowing I had to go to my room and she had to see to Rachel. I had to get rid of this hard-on, which was throbbing so badly and it started from the moment I saw the nanny’s tits and I nearly held them in the palm of my hands.

7

Stan

I’D LOST a total of ten pounds in nearly three weeks. I’d avoided the scales like the plague. Too scared to know how much I weighed, but not anymore. The morning walks have given me a new meaning of life. I remembered from my training days that exercise helped not only with losing weight but with mental illness too, and Lord knows I need help with that. I’d been suffering in silence for far too long.

“Are you going to help me in the kitchen or just stare at me?” Katie asked, as she was busy preparing dinner. She said she was making a meatloaf and using her grandma’s recipe, one which had been passed from generation to generation.

There was something warm about watching a woman in the kitchen, especially in a penthouse in which only men lived. She’d bought little things, which had changed the whole place. It went from looking so sterile to looking like a home.

“Sorry.”

She shook her head. “No, I’m the one who should apologize. We had a deal; I was to do the cooking and you pretend you cooked it.”

When she said it out loud, it sounded weird, even if was the truth.

“Stan. Do you mind me asking you a question?”

I stood, waiting for her to instruct me to cut onions or help her cook. The twins were sleeping, Pete was out catching up with an old friend, and Rick was sleeping after suffering from insomnia and not being able to sleep.

I never suffered from that problem. Once I hit the sack, I slept like a damn baby most of the time. “What is it you want to know?”

“Why do you pretend to cook for them? I’ve seen you with your brothers, and it doesn't seem to be that bad. I mean, why lie?”

I couldn’t tell her the truth… that before she came, we didn’t ever have a meal together, not like now. But I had to tell her something, the question was what?

“No. Sorry, I had no right to ask. It’s like before I came here, I couldn’t remember the last time I cooked, let alone a home meal. It was something, I used to love doing it all the time.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Chop onions. You know how, right?”

“Sure,” I lied. I didn’t know why I seemed to do it all the time with her, as if I was trying to impress her. Then I would get nervous that she would find out the truth, that she would know I was lying.

I searched in the fridge like a stranger in my own home.

“You don’t spend much time in the kitchen, do you?”

“Yes.”

Shit, there it was again, another lie. I hated myself for doing it. She winked at me, but didn’t respond. We had little time before the twins woke up, and so far, all I was doing was lying and I was in her way. I decided to go back to the stool and just watch her. It was true, I wasn’t watching her to figure out how to cook, but more because I loved watching her body. It was addiction—her butt was the type which curved at the right angle, and I always had the temptation to pinch it.

I noticed her shirt was tighter every week, as if she was putting on more weight. Not that we were in any competition in the weight department, but she was definitely getting more sun than she’d done before moving in with us. Even if she had been in L.A. for over three years, and not only did she have some color on her face, but the rest of her body, too.

I tried not to observe her, but I just couldn’t help myself, she was so addictive. I wondered if like my old obsession with pizza, my new one had converted into Katie.

Her oval lips parted, and then they closed. She wanted to tell me something but she was nervous, so I was going to encourage her, but I didn’t have to as it was clear she’d changed her mind.

“Ben said I shouldn’t cook, because not only did sometimes I cook well, and other times I didn’t, but too much cooking would result in me getting bigger… and he didn’t like big girls.”

“Why did you let him treat you like crap? Everything, you say about him was to make you feel bad about yourself, all the time.”

She shrugged. “At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I loved his honesty. Sounds nuts right? He would tell me I was fat and I would love it.”

“How could you love it?”

Before the question slipped my mouth, I knew what she was going to say, codependency, which was something I’d been accused of suffering back in the SEALs. When Rick and Pete joined, I’d joined, too. It had nothing to do with wanting to be in the marines, but just being wherever they were all the time. Even if I didn’t fit in and felt like I was the outsider.

She started to cry, “I was alone. Dad had died, and Ben was the only one who didn’t look at me how everyone else did. Poor Katie Baldson, the one who lost her dad. I hated the way people looked at me. Not only kids at school, neighbors, and everyone who knew him. I lost my name, no more was I Katie, but just the one whose dad died. Mom ignored his death as if he didn’t exist. Fine. That was her coping mechanism. But I needed more. So much more….”

She started to cry, and I jumped up to comfort her. I hated the idea that I had brought back the hurt and pain of her past. She didn’t hesitate in wrapping her arms around me. She didn’t hesitate as I wanted to take all her pain away. I cranked my neck and brought my mouth to meet hers. I could hear her heart racing faster and faster as my gentle kiss turned into more. I knew she had an ex, so she had a lot more experience than me. The most I’d done was kiss one girl at the prom, and she told me I was terrible, messy, and I remembered back then having the confidence to try and perfect my kissing. Back then, if someone said something negative to me, I tried to do better. Not like now. My confidence was completely out of the window, and was at an all time low. I knew I was a good kisser, but not perfect. Memories of the confident boy, I used to be entered my mind as I moved from taming my kiss to a soft one. Our bodies rocked back and forth against the workspace.

Then I moved my hand through her hair and down her back. No more was she sobbing, but gently moaning in my mouth. I moved away from her, as I knew I couldn’t contain myself and I would want to take her.

I pulled back, knowing I had to stop.

“Sorry,” I whispered as I walked away. I didn’t give her a chance to respond.

8

Katie

“KATIE COME EAT WITH US,” Stan pleaded as I told them I was going to my room. It had been a long day—not only cooking the meatloaf, but with the twins, too.

I couldn’t believe I’d been here for three weeks, and so far, I’d managed to not only kiss one brother, but two.

What was wrong with me?

I had a good job, and I didn't want to blow it, but I was living a lie. This good thing I had could all come to an end if I didn’t stop going around and kissing the brothers. If something happened—if they both found out—they would kick me to the curb.

“No. I need to call Dawn. She called earlier, and I said I would call her back. Besides, I’ve eaten enough today. I need to sleep when the twins sleep. Otherwise, I’ll be a wreck tomorrow.”

He sighed, “Fine. But it’s only eight.”

I nodded in agreement. “Call. Shower, and then bed. It’s been a long day.”

I didn’t wait for him to reply as I swiftly headed to my room. I just hoped both Pete and Rick wouldn’t turn up. If they did, then my plan to slip away would be dead in the water. I had to stop the war from starting, the one I was starting by being like Helen of Troy and ending up causing the Trojan War in L.A.. I was far from the most beautiful woman in L.A., and I hated the idea of making brothers fight over me.

I didn’t deserve their attention. I was messed-up, had no home, and I wasn’t even a qualified nanny. I had no idea what I was doing with my life. Before Ben and moving to L.A. it felt simple, just following him and wanting his goals.

I knew I wanted a family and kids once he achieved his dreams. I wanted to be an artist, but my heart wasn’t truly head over heels following and even less now.

“Hey,” I said as I closed my room door. I had to speak to Dawn, especially when I felt this anxious.

“Katie, you’re lucky. I’m just about to go into a gig, and I was thinking about you. We haven’t spoken since you treated me to lunch.”

“Yeah. Sorry about that. With the twins and everything, I’ve been busy…”

She laughed. “And with the hot three SEALs too, I bet you’ve been really occupied.”

Damn!

I decided it was best if I moved to the bathroom, just in case one of them heard me talking to her. Besides she said she had to speak fast since she was getting ready to go to a gig.

“Hey, why not ask for one night off? Don’t you have the weekends off? You could come and see me perform.”

“GREAT IDEA,” I said as I closed the bathroom door, making sure they couldn’t hear me. I turned on the shower, and then the water caused enough noise in the bathroom for no one to hear.

“I kissed two of them—the boss and the other one. I kissed two brothers.”

“Good for you. Get your groove on. You deserve it.”

“No, this is the best thing that’s happened to me. I just don’t want to blow it. What if one of them hears what I’ve been up to, then I’ll be in trouble. Right? I mean one brother was bad enough. But two!”

I slumped on to the floor, wondering if it was a good idea to say this out loud because for I was always told by Ben, that if you said it out loud, then it became real. I didn’t want it to be real.

“I found a home. I love the little kids, they’re so cute…”

“Please, K, you never called me to talk about the kids. Not like this. Tell me what’s wrong? You’ve got me all worried. You know if there’s anything wrong, then you can come and stay with me.”

I laughed thinking as much as I loved Dawn, she was a mess. A hoarder. Disaster and everything else when it came to her living accommodation. There was no way I could live with her. She left dishes in her sink for weeks and thought anyone who cleaned their dishes on a daily basis was a freak.

“My issue is that I kissed them, but I wanted so much more. Like you know…”

“Good, girl, you get your groove on!”

Did she just encourage me to fuck my boss?

“I’m so proud of you K. I wish you were here so I could hug, and show you how proud I am of you.”

I shook my head, as I stood up.

“I’m not planting anything with anyone. The other one is my boss.”

“K, stop being so uptight. They’re grown men, if they want to kiss you, and do a lot more they will do it. They’re single, you’re single. All grown adults. What’s the big deal? You’re the nanny, and by the look of things, they want you to be more than that. They’re brothers and for sure, they’ll talk. There’s no way they wouldn’t tell each other about what’s happening with you.”

“Yeah, but this is getting out of control…”

“No. Stop it. You looked hot and happy. I’ve never seen you look like that. No matter what’s going on in that penthouse, they’re making you feel the way Ben never could. You enjoy it, girl. Get your groove on, and live, and enjoy living. Deal.”

Then there was so much noise, I couldn’t hear her, but I knew one thing for sure, this meant she wasn’t going to talk to me much longer and had to go.

She hung up!

As I suspected, she hung up, but I had a feeling most likely it was Matt, the lead singer and her partner—even though they didn’t want to admit they were officially going out. They claimed they were fuck-buddies, but it was clear they cared more about each other than they cared to admit.

Dawn wasn’t an expert on love, and kissing the guys had to stop. I was here as a nanny and had to remain professional. I had to be proud of one thing I did in life, and so far, looking after the twins was it. I wanted things to stay that way, and my attraction for the brothers had to be kept under lock and key because I didn’t want to lose my job, let alone my heart.

THE NEXT DAY, knowing I had to keep things strictly professional, I was a little cold when I walked with Stan, but then I could tell he was distracted too, or maybe he felt crap about the kiss. Either way, I was relieved when we returned from the walk and we didn’t repeat what had happened yesterday.

This is what I told myself.

Yet, I ended up wearing the orange sleeveless dress which I saw displayed on a shop window, wondering where I would wear it. Yet, I ended up wearing on the walk today, and I felt stupid doing it.

He said nothing.

Nothing about my dress and I was disappointed. As soon as we entered, just as quick as he appeared to go for the walk, he left again.

I put the twins to sleep and found myself at a loss. I didn’t know what to do with myself as I stood by the door. They fell asleep so quickly, it was weird. They were getting older and seemed to tire themselves out so easily.

“You look lost.”

I shook, then nodded my head. I looked at the man in front of me. I didn’t know if it was Rick or Pete, but I wanted to feel the same way I’d done when he’d kissed me the other day.

I walked up to him, went on tiptoes, and then he kissed me with a hunger that was almost strong enough to be frightening, pinning me and driving his mouth onto mine.

Pete? He was kissing me differently than he had done the other day, which meant he must be Rick.

He was doing to me what I wanted Stan to do, but he was leaving me speechless as his hands ran up my sides before sliding down to caress my ass.

“Ah,” I moaned, half in pleasure and half feeling guilty for the person kissing me not being Stan. He was the one I’d spent the most time with, the one who had paid me all the attention.

The one who had given me a home when he found out I lied about the job.

Just say he turned around and knew what I was doing with his brother and decided to expose my secret. I should have told him to stop, but instead I moaned in protest.

Dawn’s words about enjoying myself started to play in my mind. There was no one to see, and I didn’t want him to stop.

He seized me firmly and lifted me up against the door. I made sure, unlike last time, I didn’t drop the monitors. I held them tightly as our mouths were now at the right height. He lifted me and held me as if I weighed nothing, then I opened an eye trying to figure out where we were moving to.

My dress rode up and I could feel the pulsing mass of his cock directly against my dripping panties.

I was so turned-on, and I wanted him to completely take control. Until, with my eyes still closed, he dropped me on the bed.

His bed.

Then he moved on top of me. He let out a growl and began to rock against me.

He felt completely different to the other day. I was now, judging by the pictures I saw on the wall, in Rick’s room. Now, not only had I kissed two brothers, but all three.

I was in trouble.

Big, big trouble, but as he started to pull down my dress, I wanted him inside of me so badly, that I couldn’t get him to stop even if I wanted him to.

9

Pete

LAST NIGHT WAS TOUGH. What started off as a quiet night ended up being two bachelor parties and a bachelorette party, too. Stan was sure was the sly one. I looked at my phone; we got in at two, and I was tired and slightly hungover—no more than slightly because I think as the morning started, I started drinking one too many tequilas as a couple of my friends showed up. They claimed to come and support the opening of the club, but I knew the truth. They’d only come to enjoy the club. I didn’t mind, I wanted everyone who came, to have a good time.

“Pete, I cooked lunch, seeing as you skipped breakfast.” I heard a knock on the door, a voice which I thought could be Stan. But there was no way my selfish brother would go all out for someone, apart from himself and especially not for me, when he spent most of the time telling me how much he hated me. And if he didn’t, then he just treated me that way.

“Pete!”

He repeated over and over again, so I decided to give up and confess I was in my room.

“Yeah, I’m up. Now that you’re shouting my name in my ear.”

He pulled away once I pointed out the obvious. He never came in my room, like ever. He would send a text rather than tear himself away from his beloved computer. It was like he’d changed so much in a month, I didn’t know what had changed him, I should be happy that he was coming out of his shell, one he’d ran into and I thought he would never come out of it.

“Are you okay?” I asked, trying to focus, but finding myself squinting and not seeing him properly.

“Sure, I just want to do something nice. I mean, can’t a brother do something nice for another.”

It was then that I noticed as he drew the curtains, he wasn’t wearing a dirty shirt or slacks. He hardly changed, and his sense of hygiene went out of the window the moment we were all dismissed from the marines. We were ex-SEALs. Stan had been classed as being unstable, for fucking up one too many times. I was the one who’d lost his rag one too many times and discharged on PTSD. That was part of the reason I loved construction; it offered a relief, something I never found on the field and certainly not from being a businessman.

I was trying not to be suspicious, but it was clear Stan was up to something. The question was, what?

Shit, I had to give him the benefit of doubt. Maybe he just decided to do something nice for me, and I should appreciate it. But then my thoughts raced to when he was a kid. He was always up to something, claiming he’d help me do my homework from the goodness of his heart, when really he’d taken my date to the prom, pretending he was me. I found out, and I couldn’t tell her the truth. The problem is that if people found out we’d switched places, they would think we did it all the time.

Something we’d never done, but no one would believe us if we told them. The trust would be completely lost, something we never wanted to happen.

I had to shower and get myself ready to find out what it was, but for now, the only thing on my mind was getting a shower and finding out what he could have cooked. But maybe I should stop being so suspicious. Then again, ever since we were kids, Stan was always up to something.

“WOW, sleepyhead, it’s about time you woke up,” Rick said as he patted me on the back as I headed into our open-plan kitchen. Feeling like a zombie, even the cold shower hadn’t done the trick. I was exhausted and I hated lying to Stan, because the last thing I felt like doing was eating.

“Yeah, Stan said that he cooked lunch.”

Rick laughed. “I’m a dad, so I can’t afford to be sleeping all afternoon. I got up when the twins got up.”

I knew he wasn’t having a dig; he was being honest. He’d given up his single lifestyle from the moment he’d taken on the responsibility of being a dad. I was an uncle, so I could sleep in, and I wasn’t going to apologize for it, not now, not ever.

“So, you only slept like three hours. Shit! I don’t have that type of energy anymore,” I yawned a little too loud, wondering if I could just turn around and go back to bed.

He chuckled. “Don’t even think about it.” I forgot that Rick knew me better than I did myself.

“Please, you’re not that old. Remember, we’re all the same age and besides, I wanted to see how Katie was doing.”

Shit, maybe that sounded weird. Why the hell would I want to know how Katie was doing?

I walked to the breakfast table, and my next question, the one about Katie shifted to what was on the table.

“Pancakes, bacon, toast, scrambled eggs,” I said as my mouth watered and my eyes darted across the table.

“Yeah, breakfast for lunch.”

We both looked at each other and said, “He’s up to something!”

Stan walked up to the table and left freshly squeezed orange juice from the juicer he proudly stated he would never use.

“Well, I thought seeing as you guys hadn’t had breakfast, you would like lunch,” Stan smiled and Rick and I met eyes for a second, then we returned Stan’s smile. We were both thinking the same thing. Once Stan left to go to his room, A.K.A, his office, then we would figure out what he was up to.

He was talking about how he used a recipe that he found on Youtube when Rick commented on him making pancakes. That wasn’t the only thing he must have looked up everything, including how to make bacon. Lately, he’d been cooking all the time. It was just weird.

Before Katie started, Stan never entered the kitchen unless it was to get his take out. I wasn’t going to say anything about it because then he would think that we were making fun of him, as he’d said we did a thousand times. I had to learn to bite my tongue. Rick told me they had another outburst earlier, and we’d already lost one family member to suicide—the worst would be to lose another one.

“It all looks great.”

“Thanks, Pete. I hope you enjoy it. I’m going to my room. I ate already with Katie.”

We’d spent weeks finding the perfect nanny, thinking it was Bianca, and since Katie came, it was as if she’d turned our lives around. No more did we even think or even care about Bianca. It was weird, because when Stan told us, it really worried us, because we’d spent so long looking for the right person to look after the twins.

Stan left as Rick and I filled our plates. I didn’t get why he wanted to eat with Katie alone. I felt a wave of jealously about the idea of the two of them together. I had to get it out of my mind. We hired her as a nanny, and nothing more.

I woke up, I thought about her.

I went to bed, I did the same.

I’d been working so hard just to get her off my mind.

Our conversation changed to Stan’s sudden love of YouTube and culinary skills, and we laughed at the idea of him having yet another passion. As long as it didn’t involve sitting in front of the computer all day, it was all good. Not only for him, but for us.

10

Katie

I’D BEEN HERE for a month, and with the extra money Stan was giving me, I’d made more in the span of one week than I’d had working two jobs during one month. I needed to go to the apartment and get my things. My car had been towed; sure enough, between being here and worrying about being thrown out, I’d forgotten about it. I didn’t even bother with clothes as Stan took out his card and bought me everything I needed online, but then I got a text from Ben. He said our things were being chucked out because we hadn’t paid the rent. It was more of a case that he hadn’t paid the rent. He hadn’t even seen me in a month, and the jerk should have at least asked if I was okay. Instead, all he said was:

Being kicked out. If you don’t want your things in the trash, then grab them before noon tomorrow.

“What happened? Did they find out?” Stan asked as he approached the elevator.

I didn’t know who was more worried about being exposed, him or me?

“Good! Let’s go for our morning walk. The twins ready?”

I nodded. “Yep, they’re strapped in and ready to go for their morning walk.”

He pressed the button, and I noticed for the first time since we’d been going every day for our morning walks that he had changed a bit. He’d lost a little weight and had shaved, and with a new haircut, he looked more like his brothers.

Maybe I was assessing him a little too much, because I didn’t notice that he’d stepped into the elevator, and I was still staring at him.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

“So, we going or what?”

“Shoot! Sure,” I said as I gasped, pushing the stroller into the elevator. One thing about Stan, he never pushes or even acknowledges that we are going out with the twins. If anything, it’s the opposite. He refers to the twins as ‘them’ if one starts crying, or if I had a problem with the stroller, he would glance their way, not trying to act like a concerned father. Unlike Rick, who was all over them like crazy whenever he was near them. He brought a smile to their faces when he entered the room. As for Pete, well, he seemed to be with them whenever Rick wasn’t around.

Rick wanted it to be that way when he was with the twins—that was their time together and I was to disappear, which was fine by me. I needed time for myself sometimes. Not that the twins were a handful, but at times, if one was settled, then the other would cry. I didn’t even want to think how their mom handled the triplets at the same time. She was a woman made of stone, that was for sure, and a beautiful one, too. I’d seen pictures of her in the penthouse. But when I asked Stan about her, he ignored my question, and my relationship with Rick was strictly professional. We talked about the babies and nothing more.

Except for that kiss. The one we had on his bed, before we were interrupted by the babies waking. I knew he wanted to go all the way, but it was as if as soon as I get all hot and bothered with the triplets, they go all cold again.

I should be happy.

Relieved.

I had a job, a home, and wonderful twins to look after, but I craved more.

“So, why did you look unhappy then?” Stan asked as the elevator chimed and we reached the bottom floor.

“My ex… the one who is going out with the stripper. He said we are being thrown out by noon tomorrow, and I need to get my things out.”

We walked out through the lobby, and Stan grabbed his phone. “Okay, Rick will be with the twins from twelve to six, so you have time to sort yourself out.”

“I thought I was cooking lunch again?” I quizzed, wondering if this game was going to stop at one point and I would find myself on the street.

“Nope. Forget that. Rick will sort himself out. I have to go and….well, I’m out. So is Pete.”

Stan never went out, but then he must have to get the haircut. I couldn’t help but look at him suspiciously again.

“I really wish you would stop looking at me like that. If you must know, I’m seeing a personal trainer, but you cannot tell my brothers.”

I choked, “Rick only asks me about the twins, and I’ve never been officially introduced to Pete.”

Only kissed him!

He stopped in his tracks. “Never formally been introduced to Pete? How is that possible? Yesterday he said that he loves the way you manage to keep the kids entertained and the place tidy at the same time. You were even talking to him yesterday about that new thing they did.”

“Oh my God, that was Pete? I thought it was Rick!”

He laughed. “Funny, people always get them confused. When Pete’s hair was long, people used to be able to tell them apart, but now that he cut it again, everyone gets confused. He should have introduced himself.”

I shrugged, trying to dismiss my embarrassment. “Maybe I assumed… and he probably thought, oh no, not another one.”

Stan agreed, but like always, whenever the conversation changed to his brothers, he started to get agitated.

“So how many miles today? We could do five. If you’re up for it?”

I smiled. “My… before you didn’t even want to do one.”

“I know, but I have way more energy now. I’m not eating as much. Exercising, well, I just feel better about it. You think they will be fine with it?”

Wow, he was showing concern for them, something he’d never done.

I nodded. “They’ll be fine. They’ve eaten and can do with some fresh air.”

“Great. I’ll set my phone; let’s cross and go through the park.” He pointed for us to cross the road.

“Fine.”

When Stan found out my secret, I was worried about him. Scared he would get bored and decide to give up on this charade.

“I still don’t get why you’re doing this?” I asked as the nerves kicked in. Wondering if I got my stuff from my old apartment, came back, and then discovered Bianca was in her rightful role.

He sighed, then motioned for us to move to the side of the entrance, away from prying ears and eyes. It was then that it dawned on me; I wasn’t the only paranoid one… he was, too. He removed his sunglasses, something he tended to only do when we were indoors. It was as if he didn’t want anyone to know he existed with his dark clothes in the middle of summer.

“I told you, if my brothers find out about you, then not only am I in trouble, but you are, too. So, it is not in both our interests for them to discover the truth. Capeesh?”

I shook my head, thinking he wasn’t making sense. “You could have easily said that I took her place and that I’m not the real nanny. You didn’t need to pretend and go along with this whole thing.”

He crossed his arms, and then realized that he couldn’t hold his posture for long, so he gave up, then huffed about it. “Katie Baldson, I’m not sure what type of education you had in the past, nor do I care, for that matter. You said you had siblings, you knew how to cook, and I knew we could help each other out. End of story. I got your car out of the pound—”

“You did?” I asked, thinking now I understood why he was asking for details about where it was and my plate number. I thought it was curiosity; I didn’t know him well enough to know he took the details for a specific reason.

He nodded. “Yes, I did. And by the state of it, I’m surprised it even moves. Anyway, it’s in this garage. I’ll text you the details so you can get it on your way to get your stuff from your boyfriend’s.”

“Ex!” I reminded him, making sure there was no confusion. He’d done more for me than my ex had ever done in the five years we’d been together.

He rose an eyebrow and asked, “Are you bored? Is that why you’re asking me a million questions?”

I shook my head, then nodded. “You see, I’ve been working two, sometimes three, jobs to pay the rent, bills, and everything else. I haven’t had time to have a good night’s sleep, let alone time for myself. I suppose the free time I’ve had when I’m not cooking or looking after the twins has got me thinking.”

“Idle minds do that to you. You should get a hobby or something.”

I laughed. “Like a personal trainer.”

He turned to look at me, stone cold as if I’d touched a nerve. Then gestured away. “Are we going to stand here all day or get moving?”

He didn’t wait for a reply, but I knew that once again, I’d said something wrong—he blew hot and cold, and it was so confusing at times. Like the night he caught me, then fixed the situation with Bianca. I wanted to know what he was going to do, but he simply told me, “Ask no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.” I expected after that night to be kicked out, but I wasn’t.

He said to make sure I cooked only when his brothers were out, and changed things around a bit. He told me if I was good and worth the trouble, then I get a roof over my head, a salary ten times more than I agreed, food every night, and I wouldn’t have to want for anything. I know that this is good now, but I never came to the city to be a nanny.

I followed my ex, hoping we would be married and have kids in the future. I loved being with the twins, but it was clear as Stan turned hot and cold, I couldn’t think he had any type of romantic interest.

The day in the kitchen seemed to be something dead in the water. Just like my relationship with Ben, and completely putting my life on hold for a man.

I wasn’t going to do that again.

Never, never again.

11

Pete

“HEY,” I called out as I saw Katie facing the big screen, as if she was watching something. Nothing was on. It was just blank, then she turned to look at me as if she’d seen a ghost.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” I smiled as I approached her.

She turned back to face the TV with a bewildered look on her face. “No, I was clicking through the channels and there’s nothing to watch. How is that even possible when we have so many choices now?”

There was an innocence about her, something I liked, as if she knew what she wanted. I knew I could embarrass her by taking her to the strip club and showing her all the back rooms.

She had on a low-cut denim top and matching hot pants. I hadn’t seen her dressed like that since she’d been here. Even if she’d only been here for a little while, but so far, she had only worn jeans and a shirt.

“You went shopping?”

She looked down. “Yeah, I was bored, so I thought I’ll get something new. I was going to do my hair too, but then thought I’ll come home in case Rick needed me to look after the twins.”

“They’re not here?”

I was impressed that she could tell us apart; usually when I cut my hair, people found it difficult to tell us apart.

“No, he said that he’s spending the day with your aunt and the twins, and I should have the day off. So, I went to get my things from my ex…” She faced the TV again.

“And?”

She burst out crying, I was going to comfort her, but then she bounced on the sofa, wiping her tears, as if she was fighting to hold them back.

“The lying toe rag told me they were throwing our things out at noon tomorrow, but it wasn’t tomorrow, it was today. I got there and all my things were gone. The door was locked, and the key was useless. I decided I wasn’t going to let him get me down, so I went shopping and then I came back here.”

I laughed. “You sound like one of the girls in the club. It’s like certain guys just can pull the wool over girls’ eyes, and then when they’re done, the guy throws them in the trash. This guy Ben, he did the same thing to Ruth. But the good thing is that she took her money to the club. She didn’t leave it in the apartment, so he managed to get some, but not all of it. I told her she should have changed the key and not given him an opportunity.”

I wrapped my arms around him and sunk into them. He stroked my hair, and as he did it, he rocked me like I’d seen him do it with twins a few times. I pulled back from him, thinking I could get lost in his musky scent and forget the reason I was upset in the first place.

“Better?” He smiled as I pulled away completely.

“Yeah, sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

He chuckled. “A broken heart by a jerk. I just hope I don’t have to do the same thing with Stan.”

“What?”

He smiled. “Well, it’s clear you’ve brought out a change in our little brother. Well, he’s not so little, but he’s showering every day, walking, getting fit, and getting back to his old self. Rick and I didn’t get it at first, but it’s clear it’s you. Our brother has a crush on you.”

“Me?”

He nodded. “Yeah, whatever you’re doing, don’t stop. I shouldn’t ask this of you, especially because I don’t know if you feel the same way or not. But I haven’t seen my brother alive, not like this since…”

“Your mom died?”

“Something like that. So, what do you fancy doing, apart from sitting and watching a blank screen?”

I shrugged. “Dunno. I used to love painting, listening to music, watching sappy movies on TV, but then that was back home. Since being in the city, I’ve lived a different life. I did try to get in touch with my BFF, but she did send me a text last week saying she was on the road for a few days, so I assumed she’s out of the city. She didn’t respond to my text.”

“You paint?”

Out of everything I said, it was the only part he picked up. As he smiled, it dawned on me there was a reason for his question.

“I love Sullivan Goss in Santa Barbara. I’ve only been there once, and only by chance. They usually have a mix of modern and old art. I’m not a fan of modern, but I dig the old stuff.”

“Really?” he asked.

“I noticed there was a Frank Taira piece in the hallway, well, a few pieces of his. His artwork is unmistakable and unique. The different colors he uses, depends on the type of mood you’re in and how you feel about it when you see them.”

He smirked. “Yep, my choice. I find myself traveling and picking up pieces. Stan and Rick don’t get it. They say I love to spend money, but they don’t understand the effort or even have the vision to see what’s going on behind the scenes.”

It was then, with his words and love of art, in which I looked at him in a completely different light. As he spoke, it was as if I was a human and not a nanny or the secret cook. It made me feel relaxed being able to think about something other than my broken heart or the twins.

“I need to get changed, then. I can’t go like this,” I said, standing up.

He stood next to me and grabbed my hand. “No, who says you can’t go like that? You just bought it today, don’t you want to show off your new outfit? We’ll go, grab something to eat, and make a day off it.”

“What about the twins?”

“If Rick needs you, he’ll call, but I have a feeling he won’t.”

“Oh?”

“I just sent him a text saying that if he doesn’t give you the day off, then you’ll quit.”

I shook my head. “Why did you do that?”

“Well, because everyone needs a day off from time to time.”

Yeah, there was just one problem… I had a sneaky suspicion that Stan didn’t see it that way, and he would probably call me and tell me to cook dinner. If he did, what would I say to him? I can’t, I’m out with your brother?

Shit!

As Pete’s green eyes shone, his tanned complexion made me go weak at the knees. I decided that would be exactly what I would do if Stan sent me a message.

“You’re right. Come on, let’s go.”

IT WAS as if for the first time since I lived here that I took note of the streets and people. Sure, I’d walked down some of these streets a few times, but it would be to get to work, meet Ben, or something related to Ben. I’d been such a fool. How did I go from a strong-willed young woman to an old woman who didn’t know her own mind.

“Ouch!” I screamed as I nearly walked into a door.

“It happens when you don’t watch where you’re going,” Pete said as he rubbed my arm and led me away from the door. “You’re not interested in the art, I get it. Sometimes it’s not for everyone, depending on what mood you’re in.”

I shook my head. “It’s not that. It’s just Ben popping his ugly head into my mind again.”

He titled his head. “I can see that. He looks a bit like him.”

It dawned on me that Pete was right. His sky-blue eyes were staring at me, the same dirty blonde hair; if anything, this was Ben. I moved closer and looked at the artist’s name, Rebecca G. Never heard of her, but it was as if we both got struck by lightning at the same time as Pete read it out loud.

“It’s really him. It’s Ben.”

The jaw structure and the shape of the face told me it was him, but it made me even madder, wondering how many women this guy had been with. Strippers. Artists. God knows who else. And here I was, crying over him. I should be laughing and rejoicing about the idea of not being with him and finally being free.

“Well, at least you didn’t have a kid with him. Not like poor Rebecca.”

I spun around to realize we were in a section with not only one painting of Ben, but several, and the one in the corner had caught Pete’s eye. Clearly, she’d painted her world, and it consisted of Ben—the man she must love—and her baby. Others came into the gallery, and they pointed at the portrait she did of herself being pregnant. Curiosity got the better of me, and I ran around trying to figure out dates or even a guide of information about her on my phone. As I did the usual social media, gallery search, etc., I decided I had it in front of me. She was pregnant, having or she could have had his baby, and I should be relieved as Pete had clearly said. I had an escape, whereas she would be tied to him for life.

“You want to get out of here?”

“I think you know the answer to your question.”

He took my hand, and we marched out of there. It was then that his height was empthasized compared to mine. For every stride he took, I had to take at least two, or so it felt like it. He gilded effortlessly, whereas I found myself nearly running and falling over a couple of times.

Once we were outside, he swung me around, wrapped his arm around me, and pressed his lips against mine. It all happened so fast, it took me by surprise.

“Now, do you feel better?”

I didn’t have a chance to answer. “I know a nice restaurant in Santa Barbara, bouchon Santa Barbara, which is not too far from here, we can get something to eat. What do you say?” he said, holding my hand.

He didn’t wait for a reply as he led the way. He wasn’t dragging me like he was when we were in the gallery, but he was in charge. I loved a man who knew what he wanted, and as for his lips, I licked mine, trying to taste his lips again. He must have had some caramel, because I could taste them on his lips. He certainly was different from his brother. He was spontaneous, fun, and everything I could do with right now—even if he was my boss.

12

Stan

I’D BEEN SITTING like a jilted groom waiting for Katie to show up. She said she’d went to pick up her things from her ex. I wanted to know if it went well, and if we were still on track with our agreement, but nothing. She didn’t even text me to say she had gone out or ask if it was okay to stray from our original plan. Rick was officially her boss, but she answered to me if she wanted me to keep her secret quiet.

I didn’t even have an impact on her. No one took me seriously. I’d kissed her, and she had been ignoring me since that day as if I’d crossed the line. I wondered if she’d done the same with Pete, and this was the reason she was out with him. I grabbed a vase and smashed it against the rug in a rage.

“What the fuck?” Rick asked as he walked into the living room, knowing my face was red, as my heart started to pound out of control. Throwing the vase didn’t help, instead, it made me feel even worse knowing it had been witnessed by Rick.

“Nothing!” I granted. “I’ll get Lourdes to clean it up.”

I brushed past him and he grabbed my arm. “If you’re going to trash the place, then it’s something. What happened?”

I shouted, feeling a rage coming on, one I couldn’t control, “Ask Pete.”

“Pete?” Aunt Elizabeth asked as she came into the room. Shit, so not only did Rick see what I’d done, but she did, too. She was Mom’s younger sister, and they had the same blond hair and light blue eyes. They even dressed the same and people often mistake them for twins, even if there was a six year age gap between them.

“Did he do this?”

“No,” Rick answered, as no more did I feel the anger that I did a few minutes ago, but embarrassment at not only being caught by my brother, but by my aunt, too.

“Is Pete okay?” she asked, I could see concern written all over her face, as well as confusion.

I shook my head. “No. He’s fine.”

Rick sighed. “He’s out with Katie.”

“Who?”

“The nanny,” Rick and I said in unison and are ours eyes fixed on each other. Aunt Elizabeth was still unclear as to what was going on, but it was all clear by the way Rick looked at me. The same way he did when we were young, and our dog got run over. He hesitated in telling me, knowing I would be more affected by the news than anyone else in the family. I was the sensitive one.

“So, if he’s out, then why… Oh, I’m so confused.” She slumped onto the sofa, and I walked by her side. Rick was eyeing me as if he was challenging me to leave the room, and I put my hand on Aunt Elizabeth’s shoulder and she smiled.

“Stan has a thing for the nanny…” He had a smirk on his face, as if he was mocking me. I didn’t wait for him to humiliate me further.

“Well, technically, she’s not the fucking nanny. She’s one I got to replace the one you had hired. Remember, I’m the one who did that.”

He looked at me as if he could read my mind. He sensed something was wrong, but I didn’t tell him exactly why I’d gone on a rage. I didn’t tell him what was exactly on my mind.

“Where are the twins?” I asked, knowing that if he was concerned about them, then he would leave me alone.

He shook the baby monitor in his hand—the one he carried around religiously. I should have known he’d taken care of the babies before sitting down and talking to me.

He sat opposite, his eyes glued on me, waiting for me to speak.

“Okay. So, I may have a little thing for the nanny,” I confessed, taking my hand away from Aunt Elizabeth, and getting ready to do what I wanted to do from the time I saw them, and that was take my cue to leave.

“I’m glad to see you’re taking an interest in girls,” Aunt Elizabeth said as she cupped my face.

“Gee, Auntie, I’m nearly thirty not three.”

She chuckled. “I know, but you never talk about girls, not like your brothers. They never stop talking about girls.”

Rick quizzed his face, probably thinking about the last time he mentioned a girl, especially to Aunt Elizabeth. He never spoke about them, because he only fucked, which was the reason he’d become a father. I didn’t think Rick had been ever been in a relationship, just like Pete. Which is why I was upset that Pete was out with Katie. He was probably taking advantage of her, especially if he knew she was suffering from a broken heart.

Whereas I was…

Fuck, who knows what I was doing. Rick was right, I had a crush. Aunt Elizabeth was right too; I had no idea how to handle a girl because I’d never been with one.

“Don’t get embarrassed. You’re only human. We all are. I bet she’s a looker, which is why you got upset that Pete’s taken her out.”

“She has long dark hair and dark eyes, which light up whenever she plays with the twins.” I wasn’t looking at them, but thinking about Katie and drifted for a bit. I came back to reality as I ended with, “She’s nice, sweet and kind.”

“Oh my,” she laughed, “you do have it bad.”

I stood after noticing that not only was Aunt Elizabeth laughing, but Rick was, too.

“I’m not mocking you. I just hate it when you boys fight. It’s been a while since you’ve been that way. Don’t let anyone make you feel that you have to go back to the way things were. Okay?” She winked at me.

I agreed, but I had to leave. I didn’t talk about emotions.

“I know you’re probably finding this a little weird talking to me about it.” She pulled my arm down to make me sit. For some reason, Rick took this as his cue to leave. I envied him for being able to walk out and not say a word, whereas I just sat like a scared little mouse.

“I don’t know why you feel your brothers are always mocking you. Or why you think they don’t like you. You’ve been like this since you guys were little. Always blaming them and making it a ‘them versus you,’ which has never been the case. We hoped when you joined the marines that it would be different, that you would learn to get along better, but if anything it made it worse.”

I nodded because everything she was saying was true. I hated to admit it, but there was no denying that I was jealous of them and I had no reason to be. We looked the same; if I lost a few pounds, then not only would Katie find it hard to tell Rick and Pete apart, but me, too.

“I just want you to know that you’re loved, that’s all, Stan. It’s all your parents and I wanted you to know. You’re loved.”

I felt the same rage wash over me. I thought I’d put it to rest, but her last words woke it up again.

“Oh yeah? If she loved me so much, then why did she leave? Why did Mom leave?”

Her eyes widened. “What? She never left, she killed herself. You know that.”

“Exactly. What kind of mother has three kids and decides to end it all? She’s a monster. No better than the monsters out on the field. Putting guns in kid’s hands and saying it’s all for the good of the country.”

I felt her hot hand slap across my face. The shock of it all made me hold my face.

“I will not have you talk about your mother that way. She wasn’t well; she couldn’t help herself and the only person you can think about is yourself.”

“Maybe the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” I spat back. “She couldn’t think of anyone else but herself. Well, neither can I. It’s all me, me and me. I’m the one who got rid of Bianca. I used Katie after she told me her boyfriend had been cheating on her. The trash guy, Ben, I’ve heard you and Pete talk about. He’s like a snake in the club. Well, he was her ex. She said she needed a job and somewhere to stay, so I fucking decided she could cook and make it look as if I hired her, so that for once in my fucking life, you would treat me as an equal.”

“So, you got some fucking stranger to look after my kids? What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you hate me so fucking much?” Rick walked toward me. Not to talk, but clearly to hit me.

“Rick! Calm down. It doesn’t matter what Stan did. Katie has been doing a good job and she’s been looking after the twins, right?”

His focus was on Aunt Elizabeth and it was if she was calming him down as his face was going from a bright red to his normal coloring. His breathing was controlled, but I didn’t wait for the confrontation, one I knew I deserved. I shot up and stormed out of there. I checked my pocket and I had my cards. I didn’t know where I was going, but I could hear Aunt Elizabeth sobbing, probably regretting slapping me. I hated to admit, but she did the right thing. I needed someone to slap some sense into me. Now, it was up to me to find some peace. I had to leave here—maybe for a few days, maybe forever. It was all getting too much.

Who fucking knew?

As much as I didn’t want to leave Katie, I knew I had to go.

13

Pete

“TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF,” I blurted as we finished our main course, and I had a feeling not only was I not ready for dessert, but neither was she.

“Wow, where did that come from?”

She shied away as if I’d said something wrong, but I had the desire to know about what makes her tick.

“Where do you come from originally? Family?”

“Well, my family comes from Ohio. Dad’s dead, and Mom’s a teacher.”

I gave her the look, you know, the look of sympathy whenever someone talks about death. As humans, we’re geared to do that, but she didn’t look sad or even remorseful about it. Was she really that cold? Or maybe it happened a while ago? That must be it.

“How did he die, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“He died in some freak diving accident. Dad was the risk taker of the family. He loved doing dangerous sports; he would say what was the point of living if you’re always going to play it safe. Funny now that I think about it. Mom and him were complete opposites, but I remember them just clicking. Well, what I remember of their relationship. Before it used to be so fresh in my mind, but now it’s like a distant memory.”

I opened my mouth to say something as she stared at the table, as if she was trying to recall everything about her dad. I knew the pattern too well. I’d done that when Dad had died and again when Mom died, too.

She continued talking, as if she was talking to herself more than me, “Mom is an only child; her parents died when she was young, so it was all about Dad’s family. His brother and sister, our cousins, his parents. They lived in Jersey, and we would always visit during the holidays. But, when Dad died, Mom decided that his family was no longer part of our family and cut all ties.”

I sighed. “That’s rough.”

“Yeah. I remembered how I felt at the time. I hated her for it. I mean, it’s six years now, and I’m no longer a teen, but back then, I hated her so much. Hated her for deciding how to get over grieving Dad, and just shutting them out. They tried at first to keep in contact, but then they stopped. I mean, it’s like asking someone on a date. You keep asking and they keep saying no, and eventually, you’re going to stop because you’re just not getting anywhere.”

Fuck!

That sounded so cold, and it must have been written all over my face as I stared at her blankly. She thought she was over it, but the way she was talking and acting told me otherwise. I didn’t want to push her, it was the first time we’d spent time alone without the twins or my brothers around. I wanted to get to know her better, so I decided to give her a little pop-quiz. Nothing about her family, because there were clearly issues there, but more about her.

“Who are your friends in L.A.?”

She sighed. “Yeah, only Dawn. She’s cool. She works in the diner, but she’s a rocking guitar player in a band. I was thinking about seeing her one night perform. Even if I’m not really into rock, but I would love to support her, by attending one of her gigs.”

I decided not to let that stop me from finding out about her. She stopped talking and there was an awkward silence. She mentioned Dawn earlier, but it seems as if she was her only friend, so I decided to change the subject.

“What do you do in your spare time?”

Her eyes darted around the restaurant, as if this was some kind of quiz, and giving the wrong answer would put our date on hold.

“I mean, you can’t just work.”

She shrugged. “Pretty much. I work ten hours per day, sometimes twelve. There’s no room to do anything else but sleep. At times, not even eat.”

“Before you came to L.A.?” I offered, thinking her life must have meant something before L.A. I get that sometimes people come and they land roles or they figure that is what would happen as soon as they come to L.A. But she was different, she said she didn’t come here to be an actress, and one thing for sure, she didn’t come here to be a nanny, either.

“We would hangout at the diner, and if there was a movie we fancied seeing, then we would see it. Ben is a big Marvel fan, so whenever the new movie came out, I would have to book it and make sure we had good seats.”

Odd, why did she have to book it if she was a fan?

She started laughing as she told me about one time she forgot to book the seats and ended up going to the theatre and hanging outside, asking someone to swap seats with her. This wasn’t normal, and the conversation and the direction it was going in started to make me feel uncomfortable, but I couldn’t figure out why.

“What type of music do you like?”

“Ben tends to like jazz, so we spent most of our time listening to that, sometimes rock. We went to a few rock shows if certain bands came to town.”

I gave up; there was nothing in this conversation about her. Everything was about Ben, and I didn’t want to upset her, or maybe it was me feeling jealous about her being out with me and talking about nothing but her ex.

“We went to a comic exhibition a couple of times. I remember I saved up all my money so we could go. Ben was happy for a while when we go there. He was disappointed that I didn’t spend time learning about all the different characters. I did better the next time, and he was happy about that. Apart from that, I love to paint. I sketch sometimes.”

At last, something she loves to do.

“I had a big dream of going to art college and maybe doing it professionally or something. Ben always said that art doesn’t pay the bills, and that you have to be really good. Excellent, in fact, to get noticed.”

“You could say the same thing about acting.”

“But Ben’s really talented.” Her head sunk as she thought about her words. “Well, I thought he was talented, and so did nearly everyone in town.”

“Sounds like it.”

“Can we talk about something else? I mean, do we have to stay here…”

I could tell I was making her feel uncomfortable. I knew there was more to her, but she didn’t want to share it. Not now. Why should she become a pandora’s box overnight. After all, I did only ask her out after she was living in the penthouse for a month. I couldn’t expect her to give me her life story within one night. Especially, since we’d hardly spoken since we shared that kiss, the one where Rachel woke up and disturbed it. I realized I’d crossed a line, she was the nanny, and I shouldn’t get the situation confused, so I stayed away from her, but I couldn’t do it any longer. It was too hard.

“I pushed too much. I shouldn’t have done that. Sorry.”

She waved. “No need to apologize.”

“It’s just all I’ve done is talk about me. My family. Life on the field and nothing about it is that pretty or even interesting when I play it back in my mind.”

She laughed. “You’ve had more of an adventure in your lifetime than I’ve ever had.”

“I’m nearly six years more older than you. So, that’s possible. Real easy.”

The flow was back on; I didn’t feel like sitting and making cheap conversation, so I got on to the part I really wanted to get to, part of the reason I wanted her here in the first place.

“I was thinking we could book a night at a hotel. If you’re up to it…”

Her face turned bright red, which was a good sign in a way. I’d never asked a woman if she wanted to spend a night in a hotel, it was always either, your place or mine? Or we would naturally end up somewhere, but to formally ask, never. Katie was different; she needed to be treated like a delicate flower. I didn’t know why but there was more to Ben than met the eye. He hadn’t just cheated on her, he’d done a lot more than that.

“Hotel?” She raised an eyebrow. “I thought you would never ask, because you’ve been playing shy guy for a while.”

“I thought you would ask about dessert.”

She giggled. “I don’t know… I was kind of hoping I would be your dessert.”

“You really are a dirty girl.”

She moved closer to the table as she winked at me. “You have no idea.”

I didn’t; she surprised me with her forwardness. Maybe she wasn’t as innocent as I thought she was. But one thing was for sure, I was about to find out as I waved for the waiter to come to our table. I paid the bill with only one thing on my mind, getting down and dirty with the nanny.

I took her hand as we left the restaurant. I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, and I wanted to take my time with her. I wanted to explore every inch of her sexy body. I thought about her legs wide open and taking my dessert, her wetness on the tip of my tongue.

The hotel was only a short distance from the restaurant, so it didn’t take long to find one with a room available. She smiled each time holding my hand and I looked at her reassuringly. I felt like a kid going on their first date. It was nuts, it was as if all this was new to me. I realized the reason I was acting like this was because I’d never asked a girl out, let alone tried to get to know her better.

Shit!

I sounded like a jerk, just like her ex.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked as I pressed the button for the elevator. I needed to double-check with her before she stepped in.

“Yeah. Why? Did I do something wrong?”

I shook my head, and she took a step back for a minute as if to say it didn’t matter if I hadn’t changed my mind. She sure the hell didn’t want to go through with it.

I walked back toward her, away from the other couples who were touching and feeling each other, ready to naked as we were a few seconds ago before I spoiled the mood.

“It’s just that you’re different now. Before you were all excited, and now… it’s like you’re more nervous than I am and I’m not sure why. It’s not like I’m a virgin or anything.”

I laughed. “No. It’s not that. You’re going to think I’m strange, but I’ve never done something like this before.”

She gasped, “What? You’re a virgin?”

I pulled her toward me and chuckled. “No. I’m being stupid. I asked you to come with me, the elevator’s here. Should we get in or call it a night?”

She winked once again, taking the lead. “The night’s just begun… let’s enjoy it.”

I followed her into the elevator, and as soon as the doors closed, she pushed the button. I held her in my arms. I couldn’t believe I didn’t want to go through with it. I couldn’t think of anywhere I would rather be, than having her in my arms.

AS WE MOVED to the room, I didn’t hesitate in dragging her in and shutting the door firmly behind her.

“Let’s move to the bed, it will be far more comfortable,” Pete said when I came up for air from his thought-stealing kisses. “Let me up. We’ll go in there.”

We stripped off the rest of our clothes as we walked back to the room, and then we came together again, standing in front of the bed. I just wanted him to touch me.

“I just don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you,” he said as he hesitated for a second.

No, no, and no!

“What is it with me? One minute Stan’s acting as if he wants to kiss and touch me, then the next he was pulling away. I never knew whether I should be frightened off him or intrigued by him. He went hot and cold so many times. I’m not a delicate flower.”

He chuckled. “I know. I don’t think of you like that. Believe me, that’s not the reason for my hesitation. I just don’t want you to think, I’m taking advantage of you.”

I wanted to show him I meant business, so I pulled him against me hungrily and was rewarded when his lips pressed kisses down my sensitive neck, my hair loosely piled on my head, an invitation I’d hoped he’d take at some point tonight.

His palms were soft and gentle as he ran them over my skin. I moved my hands down to clutch at his bare, perfectly shaped ass, urging him to make quick work off this, but he had other plans.

He moved away, took my hand, and pulled me down to the bed. I sprawled in the middle of it, and he followed to lean over me, his face right above mine. His head moved, hovering in different places before hot lips found my nipple and my back arched, pressing my flesh into his face as he sucked with long pulls. Sensations swamped me, ran straight down to that sensitive spot between my legs that now ached for his touch.

Pete’s hands roamed over me, explored my ribs, then my abdomen, before he moved lower and found that part of me that wanted his touch the most. My back arched until only my legs, bottom, and shoulders touched the bed, which pushed my pussy down, his fingers followed until two were inside of me and his thumb pressed against my clit.

“Right there.” I liked the pleasure too much to pretend I was enjoying something I wasn’t. In fact, I enjoyed it so much, my nails raked along his tanned, muscled back as he continued to torment my pussy.

His tongue stroked my nipple; I didn’t want to stop as I found my whole body reacting and my orgasm drawing closer just as we started, I wasn’t ready to come yet. The tension had built as he teased me, but now, it burst out in waves that made my body convulse on his perfectly made bed, and my thighs clamped around his hand, but he didn’t stop. His mouth and fingers continued to work on me as I clutched at his shoulders.

I wanted it to go on forever; I wanted to never leave that place, but slowly, the pulses faded and my body relaxed. I still clung to him, even after he pulled his hand away and moved his face closer to mine. “Are you okay, Katie?”

“I’m good, I’m good.” I patted at his arm but didn’t want to say anything else. I just wanted to revel in the moment.

I touched his face, stroked his cheek, then his lip as he looked down at me with eyes hungry for more. “Don’t stop!”

Pete held my face as he kissed me once more before he leaned over to the nightstand and took out a condom. He put the condom on, then moved to kneel between my legs. He nudged my thighs apart with his knees, readjusted, then leaned down to kiss me again.

My arms wrapped around his neck as the kiss deepened, and he brought the fire inside of me back to life. We were both panting by the time I became restless and moved against him. His cock was pressed against me, but not inside of me, and I wanted that to change. I wrapped my legs around his waist to encourage him, but still, he waited.

His hand at my hip kneaded my skin before it slid down to my ass to tease me even more. His fingers kneaded in a rhythm that I knew I could follow, and I thought I’d lose my mind if he didn’t slip inside me. I broke the kiss to beg him to fuck me, but he just pushed his lips back down to mine, and then—fuck me—he filled me, at last.

I felt his cock stretch me as a relief, and I clasped my legs tighter around his waist greedily. No more playing around—this was serious business, and I wanted it done properly.

I breathed against his throat when he moved to get a better position, to tilt down into me in just the right way. I wanted to tell him to fuck me deeper and to give me more, but my throat was dry, leaving me speechless. I couldn’t control anything, and my thoughts were all over the place.

“You’re such a big fucking dirty boy,” I growled as he filled me up.

“Shit, you have such a dirty mouth! Don’t stop telling me all the things you like,” he ground out the words in a raspy voice, just below my ear, as he thrust into me, already out of control.

I couldn’t help but swear at him. Every time I did it, the more he thrust against me. We worked together, our bodies finally allowed to do as we’d wanted to do all along. The desire had always been there, from the moment I’d laid eyes on him, a tension that we’d ignored but it would be ignored no more.

I was so close to going off the deep end, so close to coming all around his dick. Pete used his thumb on my clit again, and I finally fell over into that world where only we existed, nothing but him and me.

I sighed his name as I faded into the dark world of ecstasy. I was nothing but pleasure and sparks in the dark as he continued to ride me, continued to stroke me higher.

My mouth dropped open as I tried to whisper his name again, to beg him to join me, but I couldn’t make a sound, all there was in the world was the total mind-fuck of Pete fucking me.

He didn’t stop, he continued to thrust deep and hard into me, trying to catch up to me, and I felt him pulse deep inside of me. I could only hold on, as he sent me into a third, and then a fourth wave, longer than any I’d had before, stronger than anything I’d ever felt.

I held him when we came back down to reality, my legs boneless and open wide to accommodate him where he rested over me. He kept most of his weight on his elbows so he wouldn’t crush me. When we finally caught our breath, he rolled away, tossing the condom as if it was a piece of trash, one that he couldn’t get ready to get rid of.

“There I was thinking you’re so sweet and innocent.”

I looked up, thinking he had the complete wrong prospective of me. This was why he was hesitant—it had nothing to do with being a nanny or even Stan, more to the fact they had the completely wrong idea.

“I lost my dad, and I’ve been in and out of a narcissist relationship. Sure, I haven’t been on the field or suffered loss like you have, but it doesn’t mean I’m innocent or a delicate flower.”

He nodded. “You’re right. You’re more than a flower; you’re like a cactus.”

I hit him. “Hey, cactuses are so fucking ugly.”

“You, my dear, are far from ugly.”

“Exactly!”

“I think I’m going to have to fuck you again to figure out what plant or flower you resemble.”

As tired as I was, and I should have told him to give me a break, but I didn’t want to protest. After all, I just told him that I was a strong cookie, and I was a woman of my word in and out of the sheets.

14

Katie

WE WERE in the hotel room. I’d had a little too much wine, and Pete, well, he had a smirk, as if everything was going according to his plan. The man whom I’d hardly seen for days since we kissed invited me out and not only that, but he booked a hotel room, too. Even if I did give him an open invitation to do it.

“Is this the reason you invited me to go out for the day?” I asked as he drew nearer.

He shook his head. “I had no intention of bringing you here. This is just a bonus.”

It was as if he read my mind—one second telling me to run and escape, and the next wanting him to touch me.

He didn’t wait for me to say anything as he leaned in and kissed my neck. I was standing by the door, taken back by his spontaneity, but the memories of Ben came to my mind. I remembered wondering if I smelled or if Ben thought I was ugly or if there was something wrong with me that he didn’t want to touch me anymore. I was no longer pretty or attractive to him. Everything about this moment felt right as Pete slipped his hand under the back of my shirt and palmed my ass.

I clenched my thighs, as all my insecurities about being with Ben flashed through my mind. My legs started to tremble as Pete’s hand slipped between my thighs and stroked my wetness from my lips up to my butt.

“Ah,” I purred.

“You like it like that…” he growled as he massaged me. It was then that he decided to go for the kill and slipped two fingers inside of me.

“You’re so fucking wet!” His voice was low and gravely.

He could have been speaking Japanese for all I cared, his tone and touch were sending me to overtime.

“You’re sexy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

A tear escaped my eye as I remembered how Ben made me feel insecure about my body, my voice, even my damn hair. Pete was loving every inch of me, stroking, kissing, and biting my neck. He was ten times hotter than Ben, yet he was here, making me feel like a woman. Not just any woman, but a sexy, hot woman.

His fingers slid in and out of me, and then he broke away. As if he couldn’t wait to get inside me, he ripped open my shirt. His movements were skillful and quick as he expertly removed my bra and panties in record time, my warm body against the cold wooden door.

He slid a hand between my breast. “You ever been fucked against the door?”

“No,” I quivered.

“What do you like?”

I was trying to control all my emotions, but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t focus as he pinched my nipple and started to suck on it. Then he bit it and I cried out. He laughed as he swirled his tongue around it.

It was then that I noticed I was the only one naked in the room. He was still fully dressed, and I started to panic. “Are you going to leave?”

“No.” He pulled away from my nipple. “What’s wrong? Is this going too fast for you?”

I sounded like a stupid, insecure virgin, ready to give up at any moment as soon as the heat got too much.

“I’m not used to all this. I’m used to being the one who always wants it, and then feeling like some sex-craved monster as a result of it.”

He laughed. “You’re not acting like a sex-craved monster.”

“No, but it has been a while. I’m thinking I need to prepare. You’re a god of a man, and I’m…” I couldn’t find the words to express how I felt about myself.

“A beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman who has been taking advantage of. And there’s nothing for you to freshen up. Both our mouths are full of garlic and wine, thanks to my favorite restaurant. I thought maybe you wanted a break, and I couldn’t stay in this room and not take you. I thought maybe it was time for us to leave.”

“I’m fine, Pete, please stop treating me like that…”

He raised a finger to my lips.

“We are both attracted to each other. There’s no denying that.”

I shrugged. “You got me there. There’s no denying… So if you want we can forget we had a little break and continue where we left off.”

He smiled as he tilted his head to the side, and I decided to help unfasten his belt.

“Open your legs wider,” he commanded.

I did as he asked as he drew one arm around my waist, and his belt released, but not his pants. Then he spun me around and hitched my ass toward him and forced my breasts against the cold wooden door. He slid a hand between my breast and the door and pinched my nipple.

The door was so cold compared to the heat that was rising in my body—I was melting wet between my legs and his hot breath on the side of my neck was driving me insane.

Somewhere in the midst of things, he must have released himself, and I could feel his fat cock teasing the opening of my pussy.

“You want it inside?”

“Yes!” I rasped without hesitation.

“Good girl. This is just a teaser. I’m so fucking hard right now, and you’re so damn wet.”

He pulled back, no doubt to get a rubber.

“I’m on the pill,” I lied, thinking I didn’t want this moment to end. I was on the pill, but I stopped taking it the moment I came to live with them. I wanted to feel him inside of me, all of him. I’ll go to the pharmacy tomorrow to get the morning- after pill. Now, all I wanted to do was enjoy hot, uncontrollable sex. I didn’t want anything more than the liberty and the freedom it brought when I used to have such things with Ben. We stopped the moment we came to the city—little did I know he was too busy having sex with everyone in this city, except for me.

“Good.”

Then, without warning, he dipped gently inside of me, my face bounced on the door. Our bodies were rocking as he put more of his cock inside of me.

“Fuck, this feels so good.”

I pushed my hand on to the door as he thrust deeper inside of me and I felt whole. It was as if the lust and desire had overtaken my body as each stroke coaxed my body to wrap around him like a glove.

“You want my cum to fill your body with my big fat cock!”

Shit, I loved hearing him talk dirty. I was doing that to him. He moaned as I pushed back against him, wanting to take him in deeper.

All those lonely nights thinking I wasn’t desirable, thinking no man would want me… Now I had a hot-blooded, six foot giant and a cock to match his frame, thrusting inside of me, as if there was no tomorrow, not on the bed. Shit, we were against the door because he couldn’t wait to take me.

“Can you feel that?” he growled as he took me in deeper.

“Arg, yes!” I screamed.

The only sounds in the hotel room were our wet bodies slamming against each other, echoing all around us. He slammed into me harder as I used my hands to push my body against his. My eyes naturally closed as I lost myself in the pleasure, but as he started moving faster, I knew he was on edge, just like me.

He held on to my hips as he gave one last deep thrust, as he spurted hot cum into me.

He slowed his pace before eventually pulling out of me. He scooped me in his arms, as I found myself speechless. It was then I noticed his pants were at the bottom of his feet. He lifted one leg up, and slid his pants off.

“I’m exhausted.” I sighed as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Lie down, and I’ll clean you up.”

I shook my head. “No. I can do that myself.”

“Have you never had a man take care of you?”

I hesitated before I replied, “No.”

I felt embarrassed to confess it. I’d only been with one man and look how that turned out. The idea of him wanting to look after me just felt too unreal.

“We can have a bath if you’re up for it?”

“I should be getting to the twins. I mean, I’m supposed to be…”

As he gently laid me on the large king-sized bed. It was the first time I took in my surroundings, realizing that this room was a full-suite, not just a bedroom.

“You’re taking the day off, remember? Stop panicking. Rick did say you could have it, and it’s all fine. You don’t need to worry about a thing, apart from enjoying every moment with me.”

He was stripping and I was taking in his frame as he did it, biting my lips and trying to hide my emotions when I saw his big, fat cock, which was now slowly rising to the occasion again.

He smiled. “I can see that you like what you see?”

I nodded, finding myself breathless and speechless.

“Good, I’ll run a bath, you lay there. I’ll make it perfect for the lady you are. Later, we can order some room service, and we’ll spend the night here.”

“All night?”

“Just the two of us.”

He didn’t wait for my approval, he knew I was happy about what he had in mind for the both of us. I just had to remember to get to the pharmacy tomorrow; but for now, I would spend my time with the hot-blooded lover and whatever he had in store for me. I could get used to this type of treatment. I could get used to it one hundred percent.

15

Rick

AS I HEARD the elevator click, I could have run after Stan, but I decided maybe it was too much for us all living under the same roof. Aunt Elizabeth was right; Katie was good with the twins. I hated the fact she’d lied, and I hated even more that Stan had gone to such lengths. It was as if his hatred had grown to another level. There was no denying Stan hadn’t felt anything for the kids from the start. The last thing he’d expressed was love for them. I suppose in a way, I should be happy that he tried to take care of them in some warped way.

Pete welcomed the twins with open arms, whereas Stan had the complete opposite effect. I should have moved out then, but I didn’t. Now I feel that I have to choose my babies over my brother.

“Do you think he’s coming back?” Aunt Elizabeth asked after putting the twins to bed. Pete said he would be back in the morning, so I could have gone to the club, but when he said we deserved a night off, I knew there was double meaning in his statement. We’d hired a nanny and a manager, so we should be working less, not more.

“Stan?” I asked to make sure we were talking about the same person. She nodded in agreement. “I doubt it, well not today. I mean, I saw him take a bag when he left. If he planned on coming back, he wouldn’t have taken one.”

She sighed as she sat down. “I hate you boys fighting, but you’re all old enough to make your own decisions. Whoever this nanny is, I’m going to stick around until tomorrow in the guest room to see her.”

I laughed. “I didn’t think of you as some sort of gossip.”

“Even though I’m only ten years older than you, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak to me with some respect. No, I’m not staying to gossip. I think she has got the three of you round her little finger, and I want to see what the fuss is about. There’s nothing wrong with that, and gossip has nothing to do with it. Curiosity maybe, but that’s all.”

I stared at her for a brief second, wondering why she threw me into the equation. Clearly, both Pete and Stan were infatuated with her, but not me. She didn’t know about the kiss since that day both Katie and I had kept it professional, and I could feel my face turning red as much as I tried to hide my emotion.

“Why do you say me? I mean, it’s my brothers who seemed to have lost all senses over Katie.”

“Really? Rick are you really that blind?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

I stood, feeling a twitch of hunger but not feeling like cooking, and slightly annoyed about her suggestion. “Yes.”

As I started to sort through the takeout menus, she came up beside me. “Hungry?”

“It’s just that since we met for lunch, you’ve spent more time telling me about Katie than you have about the twins. Katie does this thing… and she does that.”

I turned to face her, surprised at her observation. “Really?” I shook my head in denial. “I don’t talk or haven’t spoken about her that much?”

She chuckled. “Oh Rick, are you really that blind? You haven’t stopped talking about her. So, yes. Really!”

“Wow! I mean, she is the kids’ nanny.”

“No need to be embarrassed about it. It’s only natural. Someone comes into your life with a kind heart, and none of you boys have ever really lived with a woman, let alone children. Just all part of growing up.”

I choked, “But we’re thirty. Shouldn’t we have grown up a long time ago?”

“Perhaps? There’re no rules on life. Some people start at eighteen when they go off to college, or when they join the marines, others later in life. There’re no rules. Nothing for you to be embarrassed about. Oh, I wish I never said anything now.” She cupped her hands under my chin—the same thing Mom used to do when we were kids. I closed my eyes as the warmth of her hands filled my cheeks. Memories of the past, being comforted when we fell off our bikes or when we were teased after having new braces, flashed through my mind in a second.

“Good. Now that you feel better, can we eat?” she asked.

I laughed, thinking we had enough drama for one night. “Thai?”

She winked. “You read my mind.”

She was a creature of habit. The only takeout she ever ate was Thai—white rice and green chicken curry with prawn crackers. I didn’t have to ask her what she fancied eating because I knew. The one thing I loved about her was her accountability and knowing she was in NY for one night, I intended to enjoy her company as much as I could. Usually when she came to town, my brothers would be here, but I had her to myself. The twins were sleeping, and luckily, they usually slept throughout the night. I smiled as I ordered and she took out a bottle of red wine. Tonight was our night, it was a while since I had a meal with a woman alone, especially one as beautiful as my aunt.

16

Stan

I DECIDED I needed to put things on track. I grabbed a few things and sat in my car. I bought it over five years ago when the inheritance from our grandparents came through when they died. The inheritance was split between us, and Rick used it to invest in the club. Pete and I parted ways with most of ours to buy the penthouse, and I decided to buy a brand-new Audi. We weren’t born into money, but our grandparents were rich, though no one would know if they ever visited them in their three-bedroom house in Oregon. They lived a simple life and hated the idea of wasting money. I remember many times as a kid, Dad would argue with them about it. He would tell them that life was too short and they should go out there and use their golden nest to explore the world. When Grandpa retired from his job as a bus driver, instead of looking for another job on the road, he decided to invest in everything from gold to hedge funds, and his decision paid off. He never spent the extra money he made; instead, he stashed it away and acted as if he was still driving the buses by never spending outside his old salary. Dad said they should take a cruise and travel the world while they were both retired.

They never did.

They died in a car accident, and some would say maybe Dad’s grief made him go to an early death too—he died of the same fate a few weeks later. Mom, on the other hand, never got over it. It was then we started to see the changes. We hoped she would get out of her depression, but she never did. If anything, the depression she tried to hide too well, came full blown to the surface. Her suicide, in hindsight, took a lot longer than we’d anticipated. She expected to loose Dad on the field, like so many of her friends had done. She didn’t, and when they were finally together, when he’d retired from the marines, she only got to enjoy his company for a short time before he was taken, too.

I sighed as I sat behind the wheel, thinking if I should go back to Oregon, but there was no one there. Dad’s only living family was a brother—who had cut all ties after the funeral. The will was read, he took his share, shook hands with Dad, and they said their goodbyes.

It was crazy at the time. I remember questioning how two brothers could be so distinct.

I remembered Dad saying, “Sometimes blood just isn’t thick enough.”

I didn’t get what he meant; sure Pete, Rick, and I fought sometimes and we didn’t get along, but we were still brothers. To draw a line and say we never wanted to see each other wasn’t something that had ever entered my head until now.

I bashed my fists on the wheel, letting out my frustration at the idea of Pete and Katie being together. He did something I wanted to do; I wanted to smell her sweet vanilla scent and wrap my arms around her in my bed. I was a virgin and too shy to go all the way; he’d done it, but he knew. He fucking knew how I felt about her, but that didn’t stop him from taking her. I didn’t know who I hated more?

Him for taking her, or me for being such a coward?

A message chimed on my phone. I hesitated as I took it out of my pocket. I assumed it was Rick, probably telling me to come back and talk.

I stuck a finger in the air. “Fucking talk to this!”

I was wrong about the message, as I realized it was Greg, probably my only friend from my time as a SEAL. We talked pretty often online, but lately, I’d noticed he wasn’t online as much as he used to be.

Stan. You good? Long time. Don’t be a stranger.

THINKING THIS WAS A SIGN, I replied without hesitation. Greg had contacted me; I was sitting in my car in the apartment parking lot, feeling frustrated as I’d done so many times as a kid. But back then, I would either go to one of my grandparents’ houses or even my uncle’s. None of these were an option. Aunt Elizabeth had moved to L.A. after Mom died because there were too many memories in Oregon and she wanted a fresh start.

GOOD. You still in San. D?

Yeah man, you should visit!

BINGO, I had a place to go. It would take at least a couple of hours to get to San Diego, and I would grab something to eat on the way. I hadn’t seen him in a while, and I needed to get out. I could have easily just checked into a hotel or something, but I didn’t think being alone was a good idea, especially when I was in this fucked-up state of mind.

Angry at the world.

Angry at my brothers.

Fucking frustrated about the woman I wanted, and Pete had done without no hesitation. I was a gentleman; I would tell her how I felt in my own time. He just took her because she was probably vulnerable and he could take advantage of her. I decided it was him I hated more. Not me, and certainly not Katie.

ON MY WAY. Hit me with the deets.

THERE WAS NO INSTANT REPLY, but as I had no sense of direction and didn’t even know which highway to hit to get to San Diego, the direction flashed across my phone. It was a sign for fucking sure. I had to get away from my brothers and most of all, I had to be as far away from her as possible.

THE DRIVE WASN’T LONG, but I stopped at two diners instead of one. I was shocked about how long it’d taken to get me here and the address in which I’d stopped at. Greg was pretty much like me; if anything, he was more of a dork than I was when we worked together. But we clicked, and we were happy talking about software and technology and shit. Nothing else really entered into our conversation and this made us compatible. We weren’t like the other guys; we were different and when you feel like the odd one out, meeting someone who was just as odd as you set your mind at ease.

I stopped on the curb outside a few shops, finding it hard to make out where the entrance was to the condo. Greg seemed to have done alright for himself living out here in HillCrest. It seemed to be quite a good neighborhood, and one thing was for sure, it was a lot quieter than L.A.

I hesitated as I stepped out of the car, wondering whether to take my bag or not. Fuck, he told me to visit, not spend the night. I didn’t need to worry about the answer to my question as he approached from the front.

“Hey, man. Been waiting outside, didn’t expect you to take so long.”

I smiled as we both hugged, leaving the trunk up. “Yeah, I stopped for a bite to eat.”

He chuckled. “A bite, or you ate someone on the way. Man, you’ve grown. What happened?”

I should have been embarrassed by his comment about my weight, but I let it slide. He was still in shape, that was for sure. It was dark, but when I gave him a hug, it felt as if I was hugging one of my brothers—everything was tight and in form, as if he’d been endlessly working out at the gym.

“You staying for a while? I thought so. I told the missus.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Missus?”

He nodded, then showed me his finger and his ring glistened under the streetlamp.

“I invited you to the wedding, but you said you couldn’t make it. You never told me why.”

I nodded, knowing he couldn’t see me, because it was dark. I was embarrassed to admit the reason I never showed up to his wedding was purely out of jealousy. Greg was a virgin when we were SEALs, just like me. He confessed it to me, guessing I was pretty much like him. In the span of five years—which to a few, would be a lifetime, but to me felt like only yesterday—he’d managed to have a girlfriend, loose his virginity, have a fiancée, then wife, and most likely, they would have a kid, if they didn’t already.

I was exactly the same as he’d last seen me. Nothing in my life had changed, so how the hell could I show up at his wedding?

“Don’t sweat it, man. You going to grab your things and come up? Jane’s dying to meet you.”

“What?”

“Your things. That’s why you text. I’m no stranger to messages like that. I mean, we haven’t spoken for a while…”

I said nothing as my mind raced to the last time we spoke. He said a while, but what did I know? It felt as if I’d been stuck in some kind of time-wrap. I completely forgotten about the one person I considered to be a friend had got married.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

He patted me on the back again as if to reassure me.

“Look, man. Doesn’t matter. Jane’s expecting you. We can catch up.”

“Is there room? I mean, is your condo big?”

He chuckled. “No, man. San’s not exactly cheap and working with Qualcomm, I’m not going to deny it’s a good income, but when you have a kid… Damn, you love them to bits, but they’re not cheap.”

My mind drifted to Rick, always complaining about the cost of fatherhood. He loved the twins dearly, but he said they came at a heavy price. I had no idea how much a bag of diapers cost, let alone what kind of figure they were talking about.

I grabbed my bag, which held all my worldly possessions, mainly my iMac, a couple of pants, and a few shirts. I didn’t change my pants often; in fact, if anyone saw me on a regular basis, they could easily accuse me of wearing the same thing every day.

Greg continued to talk about his little girl, Lily, who was three years old and quite happy to have a visitor and give up her room. I wouldn’t stay long, maybe one night or two tops.

“Just when you called, I’ve had a couple of guys call me from the past. They’re always in a bad way, looking for somewhere to stay, and I let them stay. You know.”

Again, I nodded as the realization that Greg and I were nothing alike. He had guys call him, and I never did. Only him.

I followed him into the condo block like a lost lamb. He didn’t stop talking, even as he turned the key. I didn’t know if he was doing it out of nerves, or if in the midst of it all, I was the confused one.

Greg was never the shy, virgin, tech-head; that was only me. Sure, the latter was true, for sure he was the tech-head or he wouldn’t be working for Qualcomm. As we entered the building, I saw he was wearing a red polo and jeans which hugged his body comfortably. He had a little beard, well trimmed and maintained, and a haircut to match. There was nothing to say Greg and I were even equals.

“Another thing, I thought you guys were joined at the hip, so when you said you were coming, I knew something must be up. You guys were always by each others side, so something wasn’t right. You know like the incident happened back in the past, with Rick and shit.”

I sighed, thinking about the way I left the penthouse, like a little boy scared to admit his feelings and face his fears. How the fuck did I end up being a SEAL?

“Right, we’re on the second floor,” Greg said as he started to head up the stairs. He didn’t really look at me closely, and the only thing on my mind was taking the elevator, but he was fit, a little too fit for me to keep up with him.

“We should have taken the elevator. Sorry, man.”

He stopped at the top of the stairs, waiting for me to join him. I realized he was looking at his phone.

“Crap, Jane went to sleep. She has work in the morning.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, she’s a teacher at the local prep.”

I remembered him telling me he fell in love with a teacher. He met her at the local bar, and boom, just like that, they hit it off and he was on one knee, proposing to her.

“The condo’s not big. I’ll give you a silent tour, not to wake everyone. As I said, you’re in Lily’s room. We can catch up if you want something to eat or we can leave it till the morning.”

“Leave it to the morning,” I said without hesitation.

He nodded, then turned to say something, but changed his mind.

I walked in as he showed me around, thinking about what he’d said—sure, we were nearly thirty, no longer at the age where we shouldn’t know what we want and we should all be settled down. His small, two-bedroom condo looked like a golden dream as he showed me the small wooden kitchen. It was just about big enough for one person, let alone for two people to be in.

The living room was only a fraction bigger than the kitchen. It housed a leather corner sofa, clearly for the three of them to sit on, and maybe a little room for one more person. In the corner was a small wooden dining set.

The living room had a small opening, and I pictured Greg being in the living room while his wife was in the kitchen, talking about their day or even their kid. The type of thing most married couples would do.

They had a small terrace, and as he showed me around it, I had a feeling I would be spending most of my time looking out, but I knew the view was nothing compared to the penthouse. I thought about planting my iMac out there while I tried to figure out where to go next. The front of the apartment had views of the KFC below and other parts of the town. Everything was quiet and part of me felt nervous about the silence of it all. It was only eleven, but I had no responsibilities and no family to think of, so time has never been my thing for the last five years. I never really thought about what time I would go to bed or what time I woke up. Greg gave me one last pat on the back and I dropped my bag once I was in Lily’s room. I looked around, reminding myself that I would only be here one day or two. I had visions of feasting the night away on pizza and talking about new technology. Greg was right, even if he didn’t say it out loud; we were nearly in our thirties, not some guys in their teens, and I needed to start acting like it. Even if I didn’t have a fucking clue how I was going to do it.

17

Katie

SHIT, shit and shit.

We came back at seven, and Pete said he had to get some rest since he had a potential contract job. Being back here was completely different to being in the hotel. I had to get the twins fed, changed, and ready for their morning walk.

After having a shower and getting changed, I was ready to go when I saw Pete standing by the elevator.

“I thought you were sleeping?”

He yawned. “I was. The nanny kept me up all night.”

I giggled and blushed, thinking I was worried about us getting back to the penthouse and things going back to the way things were, but this was the opposite. Not only does he seem to want to spend time with me, but he was just as keen as when we were back in the hotel.

I wrapped my arms around him and he didn’t move away. His strong musk scent tingled my nose as I closed my eyes for a brief second.

“Maybe we should go lie down for a while. Does that sound good?”

I nodded, then shook my head. “No, I need to go check on the twins. I’m acting as if I’m on vacation.”

He smiled. “You are. I spoke to Rick,” he jerked my hand as we walked in the direction of his room, “he said that he’s at the club. The twins are with Aunt Elizabeth, so you have the weekend for yourself. Come Monday morning, it’s back to work. We are going to relax and I’m going to take care of you.”

I stopped in my tracks. No one had ever wanted to take care of me, like ever. I felt as if this was all too good to be true. “Take care of me?”

“Yeah.” He yanked my arm so we could keep moving. “You just seem as if you have trust issues, as if you have never fully relaxed—even when we were together and I was assuring you that it’d all be alright.”

“I’m not that bad,” I said, a little defensive as we arrived in his room, and I crossed my arms.

“I didn’t mean to push a button. It’s just that between what happened with Ben, it’s almost as if there was nothing in your life apart from him. You have a BFF and you don’t even seem interested in connecting with her. You said you sent her a text, but all this time, you haven’t seen her in a gig? I understand that you were working so much now, but Rick would give you time off. Even the time he did give, you wanted to come back to work. Thinking you had been away too long.”

I said nothing, waiting for him to get it all off his chest.

“Even when I asked you about your family, you completely clammed up, then jumped back in about Ben.”

“You asked about my ex?”

He shook his head. “No. I asked about you. What you’re interested in? What you liked to do? I want to know everything about you, but it’s like…”

“There’s nothing to know, right? Well, you know now, I don’t feel like sleeping or resting? I think I’ll go and get a book and something and read in my room.”

I ignored his pleading for me to turn around and for us to discuss it. I hated to admit the idea of what he said was true. I knew whenever he did ask me about what I did in my free time or something, Ben did come up in conversation.

Was Ben really my shell?

Now that he was out of the picture, there was nothing to me. I’d become one of those women I’d hated for so long. I’d seen other girls do it back in high school, but it never dawned on me that I was no better than them. I was trying so hard to hold back the tears and to not think about the words Pete had said, the truth, the one that was hurting so much.

I took out my phone from my pocket and started to go through my pictures. All I could find were the few that were taken when we first arrived in L.A.—houses of the rich and famous tour, the Sunset Strip, Venice Beach, landmark museums, world-famous theme parks. We did all those things in our first month, before I started working, and that was over three years ago. Since then, I’d not taken any photos with him. I saw family photos, but only with him. I would be in a couple of selfies, but everything had been about Ben. How had I been so blind?

I remember Mom warning me, telling me not to follow him to L.A.. Dad died when I was young, and Mom was a teacher, so I was home most of the time alone. The only reason I fell into Ben’s arms was because he paid attention to me. He seemed to want me. The little friends I had disappeared as time went by, and I ended up only hanging out with him or his friends.

It was staring at me in color as I trolled through years of photos. I slumped down on the door, feeling defeated and weak. I’d never realized until Pete pointed it out. He was only helping, but then maybe he could have been sensitive to the whole thing. Then again, maybe he never knew.

Fuck!

I just came across as one fucked-up, stuck-up chick telling him he was out of order. I sobbed as I started to delete the photos. This had to be a new beginning, a better one—one which truly didn’t include Ben, and only involved me.

I SIGHED as the sun settled. I was hungry, but the whole idea of leaving my room and bumping into Pete was too much to bear. I was so embarrassed by my outburst and the way he told me the truth, and I let pride stand in my way. I’d managed to not only upset one brother but two in the first month of me staying here. Great going.

I toyed with the keyboard until I did what I wanted to do. Then I remembered having a couple of candy bars in the side closet. I went to grab them, and stuffed them into my mouth as I drummed up the courage to call Mom.

I should have called her weeks ago. I’d done it once in a while since I’d been here, but every time we talked, she asked if I was happy, if I’d made the right move. I’d usually change the conversation and hang up the phone. This was the real reason I needed to find courage to speak to her. I needed to not only hear her voice, but to tell her something I should have done a long time ago.

I dialed her number, then stood and paced before I sat back on the bed.

“Katie, is that you?” I heard her screech as I moved the phone away from my ear and put it on speaker.

“Yes. It’s me. This is my number.”

I really need to stop being so defensive.

“I know. It’s just I tried it a couple of times and it went to voicemail, so I thought maybe you changed your number. And besides, Will said to me, no one in L.A. listens to their voicemail, they all Insta or something like that…” She laughed, and I could picture her playing with her hair. Mom sounded as nervous as I was.

“No. I haven’t changed. Still same number. Must have been busy.”

“Hanging out with all your friends, I’m sure. Is it always a party there?”

She had this vision, one I’d created when I first came here. We went out to parties, ones we weren’t invited too, until they found out and threw us out. The fun times. The idea of being here and not thinking this was all a big mistake never entered my mind. How things change in such a short span of time.

“Katherine? You still there?”

It felt weird hearing her call my full name. Ben had told me that it made me sound like an old-maid, which was why I started telling everyone my name was Katie. Even when I did give them my ID. I told them I preferred being called that name.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“I haven’t heard from you for nine months. I just didn't want it to be another eight before I heard from you again.”

Had it really been that long?

“I’m here.”

I felt guilty, as if the candy I’d been eating was about to come up my throat again. I hadn’t called her in nearly a year, and when I did call, she was nervous about me not calling her again.

“I was just coming in myself. I’d been on a date.”

I choked, happy for the change in direction. “Date. You? No way, who with?”

She chuckled. “I do have some life left in me. Do you remember Ken, the guy who fixes the car all the time?”

“The one who always fixes the car for free, cause he has a thing for you? Of course, I remember him. How’s he doing? And his daughter too, Sarah. How’s she doing?”

“Oh, fantastic. She’s applying to med school. She’s loving college life and comes home regularly. She always asks about you.”

Again, the conversation changed. Sarah, the one who Ben constantly picked on at school. The one who begged Mom to talk to Ben, to see if the bullying would stop. Our town wasn’t small, but it was big enough for bullies like Ben to be seen as the popular guy who could do whatever they wanted and people like Sarah, the intelligent ones, to be classed as boring.

“That’s nice.” I sighed as a chill crept down my spine at the idea of Sarah asking about me. Probably hoping Ben had dumped my ass and given me a little taste of my own medicine.

“I want to hear about your date.” I smiled as I rolled my head back on the pillow and listened to her talk about Ken. It was weird, her talking about him like that, then again, talking about any man. I tried to remember as she said, after all these years he just came out and asked her out. Something Ben said he should have done a long time ago.

Men like that are cowards. They deserve to be single.

I agreed when Ben called him that, knowing full well the reason why Ken had struggled to ask Mom out. He was a widower, like Mom, and he had raised Sarah by himself. Something admirable, but Ben took it as a sign of weakness.

The man who stole from women.

Broke my heart.

Ben left me penniless and used me, and he shouldn’t have a say about how he feels about anyone; he didn’t even deserve any love, let alone mine.

“Sorry, I’m boring you Katherine. So, tell me about things. How’s things with Ben? Is he in a new movie yet?”

A tear escaped my eye as I remembered the lie I’d told her the last time I did speak to her.

“I told you we were at a celebration party. Now, I remember… because Ben had finally got his big break.”

I started to sob quietly.

“Yeah, you said some big shot director saw him by chance. I can’t remember the full story, but then, it was the break he needed and you could quit waitressing, and it was all about signing the contract and getting the right deal. I thought I hadn’t heard from you because you were out with the big shots. Who would remember someone like me?” She sighed, probably feeling sorry for having such a quiet life.

“Mom, why would you say that about yourself?”

She chuckled. “I’m just a medium-sized town math teacher. No one gets excited about us. Not even me on a good day.”

“It was a lie.” I didn’t hold back. “Everything I told you about our lives here was a lie.”

The words were rolling out uncontrollably as soon as I started, and I couldn’t stop. I told her about my life. I didn’t feel ashamed about it, and for some crazy reason, saying it out loud confirmed what I’d already knew. I had to move on and let it all out, otherwise I would feel nothing but regret about pretending to be someone I used to be a long time ago.

Confident.

Full of life.

Kind.

Considerate.

Since I’d been with Ben, there was only one word which would sum me up in a nutshell and that was selfish.

“I’ll book my flight. I’ll come and get you!” I could imagine her fluttering around, trying to figure out what to pack, how to tell the school she needed time off, and how to arrange everything. As much as I wanted to see her, I knew I couldn’t.

“Mom, I’m fine. I told you, I’m working as a nanny and besides, it’s where I need to be right now.”

She cried, “No one judges you for the past. No one thinks of anything that happened back then as you. They know it’s all him.”

I stuttered, “That’s sweet, Mom, but you must let me take some of the responsibility. I am an adult. I did know what I was doing. Ben didn’t hold a gun to my head or anything.”

“No! Just his hands around your neck!”

The memory which flashed through my mind made me drop the phone on the bed. I remembered the one time Mom begged me to leave Ben. She said things were getting out-of-hand, and instead of listening to her, I ran off with the man. He never squeezed tight enough to physically harm me, but the intention was there. I saw it in his eyes as he moved away from me. In his stare as he cut his eyes at me, and at Mom, as if she’d disturbed something I completely deserved. I told her we never got rough physically—another lie. All I ever did was lie about my relationship with Ben.

“Yes, he did. I know, but I need time. Time to remember who I used to be, what I want to be, and to adjust to that in the future. I’ll talk to Rick, my boss, and see if I can have you visit. He’s really nice and I’m sure he’ll be up for that. What do you think? Maybe the holidays? You could come here for Thanksgiving, what do you say?”

“I mean, I could. You wouldn’t need to ask your boss. I could rent a room, and we could spend the holidays together like we used to do when your dad was around.”

It was two months and counting, and the idea put a smile on my face. I was ready to face the world, including Pete and Rick. I wanted to catch up some more with Mom and figure out where she could stay. Having Mom around and being with someone who truly loved me excited me. She giggled as she told me about her next date with Ken. I didn’t know what made me feel better, having everything out in the open or hearing that for the first time in a long time, my mom was truly happy.

18

Rick

IT WAS CREEPY.

No, kinda weird.

I got home from the club in the early hours of the morning, and I saw Pete creep around. First, he was walking outside Katie’s room, just about to knock, then he left, and then he did the same thing. I wanted to ask him what was going down, but between trying not to worry about one brother who was missing in action. I kinda gave up on the idea of playing papa to not only the twins, but my brothers, too.

“You going to knock on her door already?” I barked as I passed him in the hallway.

“Oh!” I saw his red eyes and thought maybe he had just as much sleep as I did, but he was acting like a nervous teen—something Pete never did. He was the confident one of the three of us, but for some reason, he was acting like a little kid.

“Just I can’t make her out. We’re all good one minute, and the next, it’s as if I’m…” he said as he followed me.

After my long stint at the club, all I wanted to do was come home, put my feet up, have some hot cocoa, and I would be out till the afternoon, especially with no kids to think about for one day. No, instead, I come home to a brother who’s missing and the other who’s sulking, all over the same woman.

What the fuck?

Has she put a spell on everyone in this penthouse, and I was the only one able to resist her temptation? Maybe because she was too busy poisoning my brothers.

“Pete, just chill. When did you ever let a woman get to you like this?” I sighed as I patted him on the back and hoped he would reflect and move in the opposite direction.

“She’s not just any woman, and you know it.”

Fuck! Lecture time was on. She’d really gotten under his skin.

“She’s naive, but not so naive. If you see what I mean?”

I raised an eyebrow. I was thinking I could sum it up in one word. “Young!”

“Yeah, she’s young, but that’s not what I’m talking about or even implying .” He sat on the stool as if he was trying to gather his thoughts and share them with me, but struggled to get the words out. “Shit, I just think she was abused.”

My heart skipped a beat, the idea of anyone causing harm to her made me feel sick.

“Ben?”

He nodded. “Uh-huh. I mean, I tried to get it out of her. But, you know me… I’m not the most sensitive guy. I just couldn’t come out and ask her directly, and when I did—”

“The shit hit the fan!”

“Exactly!”

A vein was popping out of my neck as I started to get all tensed up and shit. Thinking about Ben striking her or beating her… Sweet, delicate Katie; now I knew why my brother was a mess, and I had a feeling if he told me more, I would jump in my Jeep, track down this piece of shit, and let him know what it felt like to be on the other side of a fist.

“Before you get all wound up, maybe I just jumped to conclusions, but something wasn’t right. She was tense at times when I was with her, but whenever she talked about him, it was as if she went into zombie mode.”

I shook my head. “Hold up. You’re with her and you’re talking about her ex. I know you’re kinky, but that’s a new all time low.”

“Not kinky. I mean it’s like, I’ll say something like, what did you do on the weekends back home. She’ll reply like, Ben and I would go to the local diner or catch a movie on his iPad, and I would cook or … But everything was in relation to Ben, as if she didn’t have any interest at all.”

I slumped on the workbench opposite him, not sure what he was saying. He was my brother and I loved him, but I couldn’t say he was the kinda guy that would be observant on hidden meanings.

“You think I’m nuts, right?”

I didn’t say anything, really I didn’t know what to say. He was telling me there was a possibility that she was abused because she spent a lot of time with her ex. Yeah, it made no fucking sense, but I didn’t want to burst his bubble and say that I thought he was crazy.

“Shit, I sound crazy. I think I need to go lay down. Don’t worry about it. I need to go and meet this guy about the contract, then we’ll meet later.”

He didn’t give me a chance to reply as he jumped off the stool and headed to his room. I didn’t get what he was talking about. I could lie, pretend like I did, but it made no sense to me. It didn’t matter. I would make the cocoa that I planned on making with a shot of Taylor Fladgate to help get rid of the edge.

I checked my cell, there was no message from Aunt Elizabeth, which meant everything was fine. I didn’t have to worry about the twins. I just had my brothers to worry about, but they would have to wait, because for now, I needed to sleep.

19

Stan

I COULDN’T BELIEVE I was going to do this. I’d thought about it in the past, but the time I spent with Greg had shown me that I should just go for it. Six weeks with him, had made me feel as if I’d changed from being a big baby to the man I always should have been.

“What are you doing here, man?” I asked after seeing Greg come from across the street. I saw him leave for work earlier, and he said he would come, but I told him I had it all in the bag.

“I came to give you moral support.”

I choked, “I told you, there was no need to take the day off work. I could do this. I’ve got it handled.”

He stood and stared at me for a second. Fuck! I really needed to get my temper under control. The guy gave me his daughter’s room and wouldn’t take a penny from me. I’ve been staying with him for weeks, yet here I was, Mr. Ungrateful all over again.

I closed my eyes, but he grabbed my arm. “Take a deep breath.”

I did as I started to sob with all the emotions taking a hold of me. I hated acting this way, but it was clear I was a nervous wreck as I started sweating.

“There, there.”

I broke our embrace as I looked into his dark eyes. “I’m so fucking proud of you, man. You’ve grown and learned so much in the last few weeks.”

“You’re the fucking champ. I’m just a chump.”

It made him laugh.

“Setting up a support group for ex-SEALs and all that. I mean, you have a heart of gold, while working and raising a family. For real, are you sure you’re not the re-incarnation of Florence Nightingale?”

He laughed while adjusting his belt as if he needed to look to see if he was really a woman.

“I told you, I just love helping people. Jane says that’s the reason she fell in love with me. Sorry, I didn’t mean to rub it in.”

“What?”

“It’s just that when I mention being in love, I dunno… you just pull a face.”

Shit, I do? I didn’t even realize I did it.

“Man, I don’t know. You know me. I’m pulling faces, and I don’t even know I’m doing it. Seriously, Jane’s a top girl. I really like her. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. She’s nice. I’m happy for you, and even happier for me that you’ve come to support me. I need to stop being so ungrateful and give Lily her room back.”

He winked. “But you know she doesn’t want it.”

“Yeah, but the plan was to stay with you for a day or two, not six weeks. I should have left a long time ago.”

“How long is the lease on the new place?”

“A year. It should be long enough for me to sort myself out and if I get…”

He shook his head. “When you get in. Then you can figure out your next move. Besides, I told you, even if we’re not living together doesn’t mean you should make yourself a stranger.”

I choked as I hugged him once again. “Nah, you guys couldn’t keep me away if you tried. Besides, I want you to be best man at my wedding. I just need to find a potential bride first.”

“Sounds as if you did the way you talked about Katie.”

“She’s with Pete. Look, I’m going to be late. I need to go.”

He held on tightly to me and then broke away. “You sure you don’t want me to come in with you?”

I took a deep breath as I shook my head, and turned and faced the entrance. I had to go in; this would be a new opportunity for me. I just hope they accepted me and let me through. I knew it was the right place for me. I prayed that they felt the same way about me as I did about them.

I crossed my fingers.

IT HAD BEEN A LONG DAY, and I didn’t realize there’d been a missed call from Pete. I longed to hear his voice, just so I didn’t have to think about whether today worked out or not. I would get a letter in the mail, but as I hopped in my car, I decided to return his call.

“Pete!”

“Hey, little bro, I thought you didn’t love me anymore!” He laughed as he did every time he said something like this. I knew he was feeling nervous about something, and I wondered if it was really about me not picking up his call.

“What’s happened?”

He shot back, “No. It’s just that I want to make sure you’re coming for Thanksgiving. It’s just that you still haven’t called Rick and I feel shit about it. Sorry for being direct, but we’re brothers, we’re supposed to be there for each other.”

I nodded, knowing he was right.

“I needed to find myself. Just me. Not the shadow of Rick nor Pete, just find out what I was really about and I think I’ve done that. I feel shit for the way I left, but I’m good, Pete. Believe me. You have nothing to worry about.”

“You sound good. I haven’t heard you talk like this in a long time.”

“Pete, I need to get going, but I’ll be there in three weeks. You’ll be back from San Fran then, right?”

He laughed once again, this time it didn’t sound nervous. He sounded as if I reassured him.

“Sure. I’ll be there. See you soon, little bro.”

“Yeah, you take care, old man!”

As I hung up, I could hear him still laughing. Before I would be annoyed thinking he was laughing at me, but I didn’t feel that way anymore. The time we’d spent apart had been good for us, it had made me feel like they were my brothers and they cared for me and were not my arch enemies.

20

Katie

I WAS STARVING. I couldn’t hide in my room much longer. I had just one more day before I had to get to work.

I took my phone as I headed to the kitchen. I needed to eat and after talking to Mom. I couldn’t help but think about Thanksgiving. I was excited not only to see her, but to spend time with her, too.

“Good evening,” Rick said sarcastically. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and I blushed as my eyes didn’t meet his, but his chest. He was perfectly sculpted like Pete, and our time together this weekend flashed through my mind as I remembered slowly tracing my fingers over his chest.

“Sorry,” he apologized as he grabbed the shirt, which was on the workspace, and quickly put it on. My ever-growing wet panties wanted him to stop. I didn’t mean to embarrass him. It was as if spending time with Pete had turned me into a heathen. I couldn’t stop thinking about his naked body, even when he had on his black polo.

“You hungry?”

I nodded, finding my throat dry and unable to speak.

“Good, I’m making lasagna—the only thing I can make and feel proud about eating. You can set up the table, I hate eating alone.”

Again, I nodded and robotically headed to the breakfast table and started grabbing plates and cutlery to prepare it—the way I’d done so many times before, but usually just for Stan. It never dawned on me until now that I’d never spent time with Rick. Well, not like this. We’d exchanged words, talked about the twins, but to sit down and have a meal, never.

“Twins? Where are they?”

I didn’t even realize he was standing behind me. I was too busy, lost in my own thoughts.

“They’re with Aunt Elizabeth. She wants to spend more time with them, which is why she’s staying in the city more and more. Trying to get to know them. If she stayed with them here, then they would always want to be with us.”

“Makes sense,” I agreed, as for some crazy reason I was worrying about my job. Even if I didn’t feel like I was just the nanny anymore.

We stood for a few seconds, our eyes locked, and neither of us spoke. I was too busy recapturing the moment I walked into the open-plan kitchen when he had no shirt. I had no idea what he was thinking. I think out of the three of them, he was the most difficult to figure out all the time because he didn’t give anything away. Since our kiss that was weeks ago, he’d gone all cold again. Professional. I should have felt good about it, meaning I was only involved with one brother and not all three.

“I’ll get it out of the oven. Grab the salad from inside the fridge, and we’ll be good to eat.”

Again, I did as he asked, and once I laid it on the table, I sat down.

God, I was hungry. I didn’t realize how much until the smells that were enveloping the table as he laid the lasagna on the table made me close my eyes, and the only sounds were my rumbling stomach.

He chuckled. “You were hungry. No wonder you’re quiet.”

That wasn’t the only reason for my silence, but I didn’t say anything.

“Well, don’t wait. Give me your plate, and I’ll put a bit on it.”

I handed it to him, and he smiled as he paused and looked at me. I wonder what the reflection of myself said in his eyes. Her hair’s a bird’s nest. She looks a mess.

The only thing I had in my favor was about the fact I brushed my teeth before leaving my room. I hate it when my breath stinks of hunger, at times it puts me off eating, but between the other secret candy bar that I stashed away for an emergency. I gazed to the clock which hung on the wall, and I could tell why Rick said good evening. He wasn’t being sarcastic, it was nearly seven and the sun was still shining strong as if it was lunchtime.

“Shoot, drinks. Forgot about that. What’s your poison?”

“Just water.”

“Gotcha!” He jumped up as I put some salad, not a lot, but a little to show that I did believe in healthy eating. Both Rick and Pete were advocates of healthy eating, whereas Stan was the complete opposite, which was why in the span of over three months, I’d managed to be an extra ten pounds heavier.

“Here you go,” he said as he put the glasses down next to our plates. “Go on eat. Don’t wait for me.”

I was about to tell him I was trying to be well mannered, but he didn’t seem to care as he cut the lasagna and put some on his plate, then filled it with more salad, then lasagna. I felt guilty, looking at the couple of lettuce leaves and tomato I’d put on mine.

“This is better than good. It’s excellent.”

He chuckled. “See, told you so. I’m not just a pretty face.”

I nearly choked, and he rushed beside me, gently patting my back as I tried to get the glass of water, thinking I really needed to stop being so nervous.

As I took a bit gulp and held my head back, he asked, “Do I make you nervous?”

“A little.”

“I was cold and wanting to keep an eye because Stan told us the truth. He told us about Bianca and what he did. I didn’t know what to think when I heard.”

“Oh,” I muttered, not quite knowing what to say.

“But you can understand why I was anxious about allowing you to stay in our home.”

We sat in silence, I’d been living here three months and he’d never said a word about this. Was I now supposed to get up and pack my bags or what?

He broke the silence as he said, “Then again, some say that I’m a little intense, but that’s just me. I’m more of a gentle giant.”

“Funny, Pete called you that.”

He shrugged as he sat back down. “Everyone calls me that.”

Somehow in the midst of it all, once again, I’d managed to bring us back to where we were before, silence. As we ate, I struggled to bring up some kind of conversation, anything to break the ice.

“Did she say that they slept fine?”

“Well, you know Rachel, she’s the fussy one. She said it took her time to settle, but then she got there in the end. As for Steven, as soon as she put him down, he was out like a light. I think he takes after me.”

“Well, he looks like you and I suppose Rachel looks like her mom.”

Crap!

Whenever I’d brought up the topic of their mom, he would give me a look, which said it wasn’t any of my business. But this time, he smiled and said, “Yeah, she looks like Maite.”

“Maite…”

Their mom’s name. I wondered why he had a change of heart and was willing to talk about her. He’d never been like this before, and I didn’t want to rock the boat and go back to the silence, especially seeing as my plate was empty and I was dying for more.

“Here. You need to eat. I just don’t want you to feel as if you have to hide in your room if the twins are not here. I want you to feel this is your home. You can go out, do things with your friend. You don’t need to ask for permission.”

I sat there blankly, wondering if Pete had told him about our argument the other day. Silly me! Of course he did; they were brothers.

Then he muttered, “It’s not healthy staying in like that. Sure, you’re here to look after the twins, but we want you to feel that this is your home too. If they’re not here, you don’t need to lock yourself in your room.”

Now he sounded like my dad scolding me as if I’d been a bad girl.

I took the plate from him, annoyed about the way he was talking to me.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. You’re a grown woman. It’s just that I noticed you keep doing it. If the twins are not here, you shut yourself in your room. More so, since Stan left. Also, judging by the speed in which you ate, I could tell you was really hungry.”

My eyes darted to his plate, he was still half-way through, and he was right; he had more food on his plate, but I’d not only managed to eat it, but more swallow it, because I didn’t even remember chewing that much.

“Yeah, I’m such a big baby.”

He choked, “Not a baby. Just more of a case that you don’t feel comfortable. I don’t suppose it’s something which you’re used to, living with three hot sexy men.”

I tilted my head to the side. “Two men.”

“Not sexy?”

It was a joke. We needed to feel relaxed, both of us stopped being tense, and I felt more relaxed to ask all the questions which were on my mind.

“So, do you keep in touch with Maite?”

He blinked, as if he was trying to focus, then put down his fork. “No. I should have been honest with you from the start. Maite was a girl who worked at the club. Well, she was a little more than that…”

I rested my cutlery on the table as his eyes flashed and he continued to talk with no hesitation about the past. “Not this club, but the other one we were managing before we bit the bullet and decided to open our own.”

“Okay.”

I didn’t know what more to say.

“Anyway, we got close. I’d just finished my service, or more like got dismissed.”

His eyes turned dark and he cleared his throat as if to not elaborate on that part of the story.

“And she was there. She was nice. Friendly. Exactly what I needed at the time. We got on well, and well… I don’t have to paint you a picture, but we were close.”

His eyes met mine. I expected him to say more, but his mouth was firmly shut.

“Is that it?”

He shook his head. “No. It’s just that darkness seems to showing its ugly head. She asked where we were going, what was going on? She clearly wanted more, a lot more. We were having fun and apart from what needed to be done on a monthly basis, I’d never had a girlfriend. Never wanted one. Never felt the need.”

“So, how come you spent so much time with her?”

“Mom died. Or rather, Mom killed herself. Stan and Pete were grieving, the only ones I could really turn to, and I needed someone. Fuck! I sound like a right jerk, but Maite was there at the right time to take away the pain.”

“Then what happened?”

He took in a deep breath, no more avoiding my stare, but looking directly at me. “Rachel and Steven happened next.”

I shook my head, thinking he wasn’t going to get away that lightly with just saying that the twins came along and that was it. There must have been more to the story.

“She wanted love, and I just couldn’t give it to her. Then, the twins were left with a note, saying she couldn’t do it alone. I knew why she’d forced my hand that day.”

“Oh.”

He nodded. “Yeah, there are some things in life I’m not proud of, and Maite is one of them. She wanted more, a relationship. She told me she loved me, and I said some shit to her. Don’t bother asking what, I was drunk most of the time I was with her. Fuck, probably all of the time. I knew she was illegal, it wasn’t a secret, and she didn’t try to hide it. And let’s be frank, I didn’t need to ask the question. The club was the kind of place that most of the girls there were either hiding or running away from something. No one says when they ask at school, what do you want to be when you grow up? And a kid replies, a stripper. There’s a reason you’re in that line of business, and the reason isn’t pretty.”

I didn’t know if I liked or hated his frankness. I realized the difference between him and his brothers. Rick was the type where there was no holding back. He’d naturally taken on the role as the dad because he was the one who kept it all together. As he talked about his past, I could feel the remorse, but I couldn’t figure out if it was remorse because of what had happened or the way he’d treated Maite, or because he discovered in the midst of it all, he did truly love her.

“It was all fucked-up. I started drinking, getting jealous of guys groping and wanting to touch her. I hooked up with her as a stripper, and I was sending her the wrong signals. I was a jerk. So, when she left the twins, I still took the DNA test, just to get Stan off my back. But I knew from the moment I cast eyes on them that they were mine. There was no denying it.”

“And Maite… you tried to find her?”

He nodded. “I did a couple of times. But then I just wished she was okay. Clearly, she wasn’t when she dropped the twins, but I hope somewhere along the line she has managed to find peace.”

“Do you still love her?”

He choked, “That’s the problem. I never did love her; I just used her. But I know in my heart of hearts that she loved me. As I said, I was in a dark place, one in which I have no intention of going back to.”

He didn’t need to say anything more than that. It was weird when he said he didn’t love Maite; I felt relieved, as if he’d said he did, then I would have been jealous. It was crazy… she was the twin’s mom after all, and I was just nothing but the nanny.

21

Rick

IT WAS WEIRD, the other day when I ate with Katie, I had the slight impression she was jealous of Maite. I should have been upfront and told her about their mom as soon as she’d started, but I wasn’t proud of the situation.

I was embarrassed about the way I’d treated their mom, and often wondered what the conversation would be like when they were older. Could I just tell them their mom dumped them at the door and ran off with a note for me.

I couldn’t do that, it would hurt them and I even more for revealing the truth. I suppose for now, I would continue just going on with life as I’d done so far and not worry about the day. I didn’t have to do anything but think about what to do next.

It was clear the new manager was running things and she didn’t need me snooping around. Pete said I had to take a step back to focus on the next project, but what exactly?

The idea of a strip club felt like fun at the time, but sometimes seeing the girls and how they behave just brought back memories of Maite—ones I really didn’t want to bring back.

I approached Katie. “Good morning.”

“Fancy coming for a stroll?” Katie asked as she continued to prepare the stroller for the twins.

She giggled. “Sorry, it’s just your aunt brought them back at the crack of dawn, and I’ve never seen them so energized. I wonder what she’s been feeding them?”

“Coke!”

Her eyes widened.

“Hey, I’m just kidding.” She sighed with relief, and I added, “Yeah, I have a unique sense of humor.”

“I’ll say.”

“No Pete?”

She shook her head while trying to strap Rachel in, who was fighting with all her strength and pleading with me to help set her free. “I briefly saw him earlier. He said he’s heading to San Francisco for a couple of days. Most likely will be back Wednesday night. Didn’t he tell you?”

I remembered the conversation we had on the phone as she started telling me.

“Yeah, I forgot.” I scratched my head, wondering whether to join them and save Katie from the evilness in which I suspected Rachel had planned for her. How did my little brown-eyed baby turn into such a monster after spending the weekend with her aunt. Steven did what he did best—he slowly started to close his eyes to sleep.

“Let me help you,” I said as I reached out, and Rachel stretched out her arms. She had it all planned; she didn’t want to go in the stroller. She didn’t cry or scream like most babies would do at that age; no, she just fought, and I knew whatever man captured my little girl’s heart would be in for a tough job.

She smiled as she wrapped her arms through mine. As if to say, oh good, you’ve got the message!

I didn’t realize Katie was watching us.

“She really has you wrapped around her finger.”

“I’ll say. I’ll just carry her.”

“I think that’s what she wanted all along.”

Yep, Rachel was grinning, holding her head up high, knowing she wanted to be in my arms and not feeling shy about showing me her place. It dawned on me as we headed to the elevator that my little girl was clearly a reflection of me as I stroked her long dark locks, and her eyes shone. She didn’t want to share me; no, she wanted me for herself. Just like her mom did, but unlike her mom, I would make sure I wouldn’t break her heart. I would get my PI, the guy who I used last time to see if he could find her. I couldn’t imagine Maite wanting to miss out on this much of their lives. I should help her, that would be the decent thing to do.

As we stepped into the elevator, Katie was fussing, and I blurted out. “I’ve decided to go and look for Maite.”

She paused as if she was confused about what I was saying, but then her eyes met Rachel’s and it all became clear. “Good. Oh… do you think if you find her, you won’t need me anymore?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t even think about it that way. That’s not why I’m looking for her.”

I skipped the part about only deciding all of five seconds ago to do it.

“How selfish! Sure, every kid needs their mom. I don’t know where I would be without mine.”

She smiled at me, and I thought back to the conversation I had with Pete. The strange one where he’d claimed it was as if she had no one apart from Ben.

“That’s good.”

She beamed. “Yeah. She says that she wants to come here for Thanksgiving, so I’m excited about her visiting and a few things, actually. All the things I said I would do once living in the city, but never got to do.”

“That’s normal. Everyone does that. Then life gets in the way, and the things you thrive to do become a distinct dream.”

“Rick, you’re so deep. I just don’t know sometimes…”

I wouldn’t think of myself as being deep, more direct. We left the elevator and moved out of the building and onto the street. I wondered what people would think about us out and about. I noticed Katie was wearing a white dress. I’d never seen her wear it before, because it didn’t leave anything to the imagination. It was innocent in a way, but her perky breasts were showing, and she was showing some skin because it was half-way to her knees. I wondered when she went shopping, most likely yesterday, and this was why she was out most of the day.

“It’s too short, isn’t it?”

I didn’t realize I was staring at her.

“No, it’s beautiful. Really compliments your skin. You have the perfect figure. It not only compliments your skin, but your figure, too.”

Now I sounded like a big sap. Rachel started to struggle, as if to say I was paying too much attention to Katie and not her.

“Someone’s jealous.” Katie laughed as she released her hair. Another change. Usually, she kept it high up in a bun, but now it was free and loose. I didn’t realize how long it was, and I bet she had no idea the effect she had on passersby. They would smile at her, the freshness and innocence and excitement of being with the twins. I took a peep in the stroller, and sure enough, Steven was looking around, half-interested and probably dying to go back to sleep.

Rachel, on the other hand, was looking everywhere. I realized why she wanted to be in my arms. She wanted a different viewpoint. She held on to me to see what everyone else saw, not to be at leg view so she couldn’t get a sight of all the action.

“Clever girl!” I said as I stroked her nose. She quickly jumped up her arm as if I was bothering her, then once again her eyes shifted from side-to-side as she smiled, catching every glimpse of my view.

As we stopped at the lights, I couldn’t help but tell Katie about my discovery.

“I’m not surprised. If they weren’t twins, I would say Rachel was at least one year older. She’s trying to walk, you know.”

“No!” I gasped, thinking this was all too soon. When I first discovered I was a dad nine months ago, I’d spent all the time, apart from trying to catch up on my sleep, by reading books and watching videos about their stages. And no where in there did it say at nine months they should be attempting to walk. She really was special, a little too special—a reflection of her mom as memories of what she looked like flashed through my mind.

“I thought we could sit down over there.” Katie pointed. She didn’t wait for a response as she pushed the stroller in that direction. It was a beautiful day, but nothing new here where the sunshine shines pretty much all of the time.

I took my cell out of my pocket while following Katie.

Nothing.

Zip.

I really had nothing to do. No one needed me, not even one of my brothers. Such a strange feeling, not having any one call me and wanting me to sort out some problems. The work we’d been doing and striving for this point should have made me happy. If anything, it made me feel a little sad. Until we came to a dramatic stop and Rachel started holding on to my chain.

“She doesn’t want you to let go, nor put her down.”

I shrugged. “It’s okay, baby girl. I’ll stand for a while longer, let you take on the view, then I need to sit down. I’m not that strong.”

I winked at Katie, thinking I could stand here all day. Admiring not only the view of her body, but the twins, too. Rachel was busy looking around, and Steven sluggishly, with the help of Katie, left the stroller and decided to play with some cubes. The sounds of them hitting each other meant no more did Rachel want to be in my arms, but on the ground with her brother.

She began to wince and before I could say another word, I laid her gently next to her brother.

“I’m in big trouble when she can tell me what’s on her mind,” I whispered to Katie as I approached close to her ear.

“Sometimes,” she giggled, “when I’m with them and I enter the room, I’m tempted to ask Rachel if it’s okay to enter.”

I glanced at Rachel to see if she was watching us, but she was having a good time with her brother.

“I didn’t realize she was that bad.”

She laughed. “You have no idea.”

I really didn’t because I thought I was pretty hands on, but it seems I still had a lot to learn about fatherhood.

“Don’t look like that, as if you’re disappointed not knowing everything about your kid. I’m pretty sure every parent goes through that.”

I rested my elbow down, making myself relax. She seems to be at ease, and the kids were being kids and enjoying their toys, which she strategically laid out for them.

“I know. I suppose I’m a little bit of a perfectionist.”

She choked, “You think?”

“I’m not that bad.”

“Well, when you realized what Stan had done with Bianca and you wanted her back, Pete said you were a little excited because you’d spent months looking for the perfect nanny, then ended up with me.”

“Pete loves to exaggerate.”

Or maybe not?

“No, it was the whole deception thing. Not so much about you, but more about Stan going out of his way to just pull the wool over our eyes, and then to keep you hostage in some fucked-up way. Just didn’t sit right with me. Sorry, he did that to you.”

She shook her head. “I did it to him. All I know is that fate was smiling down on me that day for sure. I would have been stuck in an apartment with a guy who was sleeping with everyone apart from me. He did me a favor in so many ways. You shouldn’t think badly off him. Especially because he’s your brother.”

I didn’t want to tell her about the darkness which laid in me. The time I met Maite, let alone the one inside of Stan, which at times keeps me up at night. I swiftly changed the conversation.

“If Pete lands this job, then we can all go visit him in San Fran if you would like? Have you been there before?”

“The most I’ve traveled is to the lake, and here. This is as much of America as I know.”

I was shocked by her revelation. How can she live here and never have seen all of it; well, not all, but at least a little more than Ohio and California.

“Even if Pete doesn’t get the job, we’ll still visit.”

“It’s on my top ten places to visit. Oh wow, thanks.” She wrapped her arms around me. As she realized maybe she'd been a bit too forward, she pulled back and stuttered, “Sorry.”

There was nothing to be sorry about, and for a split second, I forgot about the twins. Shoot, this is why we were here. Rachel yanked on my chain again. No doubt for her to be back up again, she was probably bored playing with the toys. I held her in my arms and stood again, awkwardly making sure I didn’t lose my balance.

I looked down, and Katie was looking up and smiling at us. I loved her smile.

What the hell was I thinking when the word love and Katie popped into my mind?

THERE WAS a knock at my door. I knew Stan wasn’t back and as for Pete, he texted and said he would be there the whole week since things were looking promising. I could tell by the conversation he was excited about the prospect of working in San Fran.

Maybe this was a good thing. Stan, Pete and I had spent so much time together, somehow along the way, we’d morphed into one. Maybe with Pete away and Stan off to find himself, this could be the time for me to spend with not only the twins, but with Katie, too.

“A penny for your thoughts.” Katie smiled as she opened the door.

“Pete said he wasn’t coming back for a few days, the twins are down, and I haven’t seen you around that much since we went to the park. I thought maybe we could eat or maybe go out, that’s if you’re not busy?”

She raised an eyebrow. She was wearing hot pants and a bright orange shirt. I noticed she’d strayed away from the dark clothes she wore when she first lived here and seemed to be venturing out.

“Cats out.” I smiled as I stood up from the bed.

She moved closer to me. “Oh, you know the label?”

“Yeah, I may be a little older, but I’m not completely out of it. Besides, I remember the girls in the club talking about it when they first opened their store. They said they loved the designs, and the store was always busy meaning they caused quite a storm since the time they opened.”

“I just happened to be passing the store, and I must admit the window caught my eye. I’m not that much into designer clothes.”

“Maybe L.A.’s rubbing off on you.”

She lifted her hand as if to weigh up the options on whether it was rubbing off on her or not. “Is that a good or bad thing?”

I shook my head as we naturally moved closer to each other. We were flirting, toying with each other, and as I opened my mouth to reply to her question, it was met with a finger.

“Don’t spoil it.”

“May I kiss you?” I asked as I moved the finger away from my lip.

“I thought you would never ask.”

22

Katie

He pulled me to him instantly, eagerly, and tilted my face up to his. Our lips brushed together softly at first, once, twice, then on the third kiss, he pressed his lips to mine harder, with more passion. I heard some sound that came from deep in his throat and groaned back. It felt so good to have him kiss me like that.

He stepped forward, then continued until I came up against the wall. He continued to kiss me in the darkness until his tongue brushed against my bottom lip. Then I opened my mouth, eager to take this further. I’d never been kissed like this, but I knew how it was done in theory. I followed his lead and twirled my tongue around his, sucked at it the way he sucked at mine, until our bodies strained toward each other.

His lips broke away briefly, and then they came back down to mine, while his hand came up to hold my face in place for his kiss. I pulled him closer so I could feel his man of a chest against me.

Rick was taller than me, so when I pressed my hands against the wall to either side of his head, my breasts pressed more tightly into his chest. I heard him groan as he leaned his head down to prolong the kiss, to tease my lips with his while his hands wrapped around my waist to pull me tight against his hard cock.

He was so fucking hard, I couldn’t get over how hard he was, though I wasn’t sure what I was expecting. Rick shifted against the wall and spread his legs to bring me firmly between his thighs.

I eagerly pressed my lower abdomen into him, ready to explore even more.

His hands moved up to dig into my hair, straightened again, but I moved mine down to his face, to touch him there while he kissed me so thoroughly.

His hands tangled in my hair, and he pulled back to look down at me with squinted blue eyes that shone like diamonds in the moonlight.

“You sure about this, Katie?” Rick’s voice trembled slightly, eagerness making him loose his firm grip on his control.

I stared at him blankly for a moment, not sure what he was asking me.

“What?” I asked, confused, wondering why there was a change in the momentum.

“I’m going to fuck you, Katie. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Too late asking me that now.”

“No, it’s not too late. I need you to tell me this is what you want.”

“But, Rick, why are you hesitating now? You knew from the moment we were in this position, this was the direction we were heading in again. This is the second time you’ve done this. Started something and then stopped it.”

“No. Last time the twins woke up, and I felt as if I was taking advantage of you. I’m your boss, and I felt like I was taking advantage of you.”

“I’m not a little girl. I want you, Rick,” I murmured against his neck, eager to make him see he didn’t need to stop on my account. I nibbled at his skin, tasted his cologne and his own unique taste before I sucked at each spot I bit with gentle suction. I knew then he’d been convinced as he pulled me in through the front door. We ran to his room, and I couldn’t help but giggle.

He held my hand as I glanced around his room. It was the first time I’d been in here. Rick’s room was completely different from his brothers. It was tidy, everything was in its place, but it reeked of masculinity from the red velvet rug to the black and gold bedspread and antique table to the modern lamp by the side of it.

“Come here.” He pulled me close to kiss me again, and I went willingly.

I lost myself in his kiss and it wasn’t long before we fell onto the bed together. I moved around until I straddled him and removed my top. I flung my bra off, as if it was hurting me, with such urgency, and pulled him closer. I loved being in charge, making this hot, sexy SEAL feel insecure about what was about to take place.

I needed to taste the smooth expanse of his chest, his abdomen, and all the way down if he’d let me. I had to explore him, there was something different about the triplets, not only on the outside, but even between the sheets, too. I became curious, as the curiosity took over with a desire that made me take him greedily as I started to explore his body. I leaned over him until he gathered it up to watch me in the soft light of the lamp.

I ran my index finger down his muscular chest. He hummed happily as my hand wandered lower before it came back up. I touched his bottom lip, then I ran my finger over the length before I replaced my finger with my mouth. I tasted his scent and found he tasted delicious. Then I moved lower, down his neck, to his collarbones.

Every inch of him felt delicious, and I wanted to know what was different about him. I moved down his body, tasting him, feeling his skin against mine as my nipples slid down his body. My breasts felt huge smashed into his chest, and I grinned. Maybe they weren’t too small after all.

I worked my way down his muscled body, over the ridged muscles in his abdomen, grazed over his small, flat, bellybutton, and down to the plane that disappeared beneath his jeans. Thinking quickly, I wondered if I really wanted to do this?

I pulled the buttons free and held my breath. I hesitated for a moment, wanting to see, waiting to see him, but still hesitating. I bit at my top lip again, and then moved the panels of his jeans apart. With my breath still held, I tucked my hand beneath him to pull his cock free from the heavy denim.

He was strong, hard, and even his cock was as beautiful as the rest of him. I took the flesh in my hand and slid my hand along him, feeling powerful and filled with pleasure as he groaned. I swallowed his cock, filled my mouth with his flesh as he thrust up with abandon into my throat. Thankfully, he slowed his pace immediately, because I gagged a little when he started.

My pussy was on fire with need, throbbing for his touch. My nipples ached, but for now, I didn’t care. He tasted good, and the sounds he made were absolutely delicious. I felt his cock throb once in my mouth. I didn’t want to stop but he was a big guy and powerful, but I loved the effect I’d had on him as I made him weak and the power of what was taking place was all mine. He pulled my head up gently and then pulled me up over his body to kiss me.

He kissed me breathless, and with a smug laugh, he rolled us over, pushing his pants off of his feet after kicking off his loafers.

“You’re special, the way you look after the twins as if they’re your own. The way you are with Pete and Stan… Who wouldn’t want you.”

I didn’t know how to take it. He completely surprised me, not only with his actions, but his words, too. This felt too intense for me, as if he felt the need to lie to get what he wanted, but he didn’t have to do that. He didn’t have to say these things to sleep with me.

“Don’t stop. This is too much. I want this. I want you. You don’t have to say these things…”

“Katie, dear Katie,” he purred as he stroked my hair. “You have no idea how special you are. You’ve been hurt, broken. Let me heal you.”

I held my breath, nearly screaming with anticipation of the experience I was about to have.

Gently, his lips slid over my pussy, down into my lips, until I lost any ability to think or anticipate.

A feeling unlike anything I’d ever felt before flared to life inside of me and became a consuming fire as Rick’s expert hands spread my folds apart to bring my clit out into the open.

His tongue stroked up from the very edge of my pussy and then up, where his tongue circled at my clit, licked it, sucked it until shivers of pleasure shot up my stomach and straight into my brain. I gasped loud while my hips pressed into his face.

His tongue gently pierced at my clit, flicked at it mercilessly, but I wasn’t going to beg him to stop. Not at all. I wanted more and more. The feeling of aching pleasure spread until it became difficult to breathe because I forgot how to do it. I looked down to see his head between my thighs and I watched as his mouth moved over me. Suddenly, my thighs clamped down around his head, my body convulsed with a pleasure that was so much more than anything he’d made me feel so far, and I groaned his name, unable to stop myself as my back arched and my head went back on his pillows.

I let my pleasure take control as my cries broke the silence, as the sensations took over my body, leaving my body twisted and moved as it wanted to. I was lost in the lust of it as Rick drove me on, a new one starting as the last one ended.

Rick made a sound of satisfaction before he moved over me and settled between my thighs. He pushed me a little further up the bed, then came back to me, our bodies straining toward each other in the near darkness. My legs wrapped around his hips, and with one swift thrust, I finally felt Rick inside of me, filling me completely.

He slid out of me slowly, watching my face as he did so. “I just want all of you. I fucking love hearing you scream like that!”

I giggled. “I should calm it down. I mean… the neighbors.”

“You don’t have to worry about the walls, baby. All sound proof, remember? Let me make love to you the way you should be made love to.”

He didn’t need permission from me as he started a slow and gentle pace, then moved faster, pulling my legs over his shoulders as he knelt below me.

“Do you like it?” he asked as he thrust into me, gasps of pleasure the only answer I could give.

My head fell back against the pillow as my body started to respond to him quickly. I held on to him with clenching hands as my pussy worked around him, eager to have another chance at pure bliss.

He ran a finger over my lips, his hips not stopping their thrusting. “I want to fill that beautiful mouth over and over again.”

Rick and Pete had taken me to a new dimension every time they’d fucked me. Even the money Stan promised I’d be paid had doubled, and I didn’t even know if I deserved it. I was a nanny, but then I didn’t have years of experience and didn’t deserve any of this. But then I thought about what Pete said.

Just enjoy it. Don’t think about tomorrow, just enjoy being in the moment.

I opened my eyes, looked up at him with a dazed expression, and smiled when his face changed, became rapturous and his body stopped moving. Watching him was amazing and made me clench around him just as hard as when I came around him.

It was crazy, but I’d made myself come so many times with my hands in between my legs. But there was nothing more exciting than someone else giving you that pleasure.

Tonight had opened Pandora’s box. I wanted to know what it would be like to have pleasure given to me not just tonight but every day of the week by not only one SEAL, but by all three.

23

Pete

I decided to call Katie; it had been a while since we spoke. Sure, we’d texted since I upset her and left for San Fran, but after Rick told me she’d never been out of state apart from her trip to L.A, I knew I had to talk to her and convince her to take a trip with Rick and clear the air before she came. I couldn’t see her passing on a trip of a lifetime.

“Hey,” I said as soon as she picked up. I double-checked with Rick if it was good to call. He was at home, bored. His trips to the club were practically non-existent, and he wasn’t in the mood to open a new one. He seemed to have a change in heart in opening a few of them and wanted to do something new, the question was what.

“Pete, glad to hear from you. Rachel has just gone to sleep. Wait.”

I could hear the door click shut. She giggled silently and I could hear her walking away, most likely from the twins’ room. “I swear Rachel has had a shot of Coke or Dr. Pepper. She was Ms. Energy, today. She just wouldn’t stop all day.”

I checked the time. “Yeah, a little weird for her to be napping at this time.”

“I know. I think I may regret it, and I won’t be able to put her down tonight.”

“You’re so good. I wouldn’t think like that. I’ll be too happy about wanting to have a few z’s before I had to do whatever I had to do next with them.”

She laughed. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a great uncle.”

It was at that moment I realized there seemed to be no awkwardness between us. Not like when I last left her. I felt bad for doing that I needed to work hard on the way I spoke to people. Women in particular. Especially one who was so special to me.

“I’m glad we’re good. I was a bit worried because of the last time we spoke. Well, we're face-to-face.” I sounded nervous and was struggling to get the words out. “I said all the wrong things.”

She cleared her throat. “About that. I wanted to say I was the jerk. You were just pointing out the obvious, just saying the truth, and I was the one who was acting all defensive and shit. I was the jerk for making you feel bad for saying the truth.”

“Sensitivity is not my style.”

She choked, “So, I noticed.”

“Touché! Please forgive me, and even more, please have patience with me. I’ll get there eventually, especially with your support.”

I sounded desperate, wanting to please her, and making sure I didn’t cross the line. The idea of her leaving was something I couldn’t bear. I’d never had a woman so important to me in which the prospect of losing her was too painful.

“Rick said you were there and he was even talking about us all going there to visit you. I was going to call to ask if it was okay after what happened when you were here last.”

“That’s exactly why I called you. I even found a great crèche and reserved spots for the twins. I’m sure they would love it there. This way you can see the city, we can go out at times, and it would be fun.”

“Oh my. I’m the nanny. You shouldn’t be finding creches for the twins. I should be looking after them.”

I shook my head. “I think by now, you’ve figured out that you’re a lot more than just the nanny. You shouldn’t sell yourself short. You mean more to us than just looking after the twins. Otherwise, we wouldn’t invite you to come here.”

“No one’s ever made me feel the way you guys make me feel.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, especially because I could hear her sniffing on the other end of the line.

“Rick tells me that your mom wants to visit for Thanksgiving. If she’s a mean cook like you are, then why book a hotel? Why not let her come stay with us.”

“So, you’ll make my mom stay here in exchange for cooking. Sounds just like Stan.”

“That’s not fair! Anyway, think about it. No pressure. Besides, it would be good to have some more female company in the house.”

“We’ll think about it…”

We talked about the twins and Rick being bored. Katie complained he was like a bear with a sore head. The conversation was natural, as it’d been when we were in the hotel. I felt silly not wanting to pick up the phone earlier and call her. Everything about being with Katie felt right. There was no doubt about it in my mind; she was becoming a lot more than the nanny, she was starting to have a special place in my heart.

I DECIDED to do a little digging into all the things we could do while Katie and Rick were in San Fran, and every single time, the only thing that kept popping up were dirty thoughts. Nasty ones. About the three of us together.

I knew Rick and she had been together, and the crazy thing about it was I wasn’t jealous. We’d never shared women; we were ex-SEALs and passionate about joining together. We lived together too. But sharing women felt like we were crossing the line, yet this was exactly what we’d done with Katie.

I sat down after pouring myself a bourbon. My thoughts drifted from thinking about us walking over the Golden Gate Bridge to where we were going to eat and organizing their trip over the next few days. They were only coming for a long weekend, but the things which were on my list needed to be done over a week or maybe two.

Seals, Chinatown, Pacific Heights Views, picnic in the park, visiting the rock, the fantastic bars and restaurants. Too many things, and I had to think about the twins, too. They were around for the four days, and I didn’t want them to be left behind. I could easily ask Aunt Elizabeth to look after them, but this project that I would be starting soon would mean I would be based here for at least one year. I’d told Rick I had an opportunity here, but I figured once he got here, then I would lay it all out in the open.

Maybe the conversation I had with Stan showed how much he’d changed and grown up in the last three weeks. He was a man standing on his own two feet, all his energy was spent no more on hating us, but his focus was on him. He realized he had blamed us for his hurt and pain. Now he was alone, and he had no one to blame.

Fuck!

He even told me he’d started doing yoga and it helped him immensely by allowing him to meditate and focus. He even suggested I give it a try. He said he’ll come home for Thanksgiving. I could have asked him where he was staying, or even at least what town. I didn’t know if he was in L.A. or if he was back home in Oregon. None of it seemed relevant hearing the happiness in his voice. I had to double check a couple of times to make sure it was him. My brother, happily speaking to me, something which hadn’t happened since we were kids. It was nice to hear him talk that way about life. I swirled my drink with a smile on my face, thinking about Stan being happy, the way I’d tried to make him so many times.

I took a swig as my thoughts darted back to Katie. The idea of her being here made me excited, because I’d never been on a date, let alone lived with one. For the first time, I felt the same desperation that Stan had felt when she came to live with us, making her cook and blackmailing her. I could never say or think that what he did was right, but there was something special about her. Something which made me want her around all the time.

It was a flight or a long drive, either way, the distance between L. A. and San Fran didn’t mean it was impossible for us to have a bit of a long-distance relationship, even if it meant sharing her with a brother or two.

Either way, this trip wasn’t only about talking about Stan or my new job, it was about our relationship with Katie. I had a feeling no matter what, Rick would agree—Katie should be part of not just the twins’ lives, but all of ours. We’d bonded more in the last few weeks than we’d done in such a long time. It was down to Katie. The woman who was more than a nanny to the twins and to us.

24

Katie

I was in Rachel’s room. I read online and through a few books that some twins, especially with dizygotic twins, go through a stage when they do not want to be with their twin all the time. We naturally assumed it would never be the case, but it was clear every single day that Rachel didn’t like being around Steven.

She crawled before he did, she was clearly walking okay, so she wasn’t going to compete in the next marathon, but she was ahead of him. I could sense there was some kind of resentment either because he was behind her in terms of development or maybe it was because he was her twin.

Either way, Rick separated their rooms, which he said was quite easy, and he would have wanted Pete to do it since he was the builder of the family. Seeing as he wasn’t here, Rick called someone in. It only took a couple of days, a partition wall, and they now had two separate rooms. I could tell Steven wasn’t bothered by the change, but Rachel was—it was as if she was proud about not being around Steven anymore. They now had two nap times, two everything. I even made sure they didn’t eat together. She’d changed because of it, I didn’t know whether to be proud of her for knowing what she wanted at such an early age or concerned about it.

“Why are you sitting and watching her like that?” Rick asked as he stood by the door. I gasped, and he ran to my side. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t. You still did. Why are you creeping around?”

He gave me a gentle kiss as if to say sorry. Rachel turned our way for a brief second and then she was back to trying to figure out how to run and not just walk, and tripping in the process.

“It’s strange. She keeps falling, but then instead of crying, she’s just gets up again.”

“She’s one tough cookie.”

“She must take after Maite. She was one tough cookie, too.”

I didn’t want to talk about his ex, or even think about her right now. It was as if every time he said her name, I would have a wave of jealously enter me. I knew they were never an item, but they had something I never had with Rick—kids and a relationship. Even if he had never called it out as that, it was exactly what it was at the end of the day. I knew she was the kids’ mom, and one day she could come home and want to be part of their lives. I just hoped if she did, then she would only want to be part of their lives and not Rick’s.

Shit!

What was I saying?

I had both Pete and Rick, and always I was worried the shit would hit the fan.

“I remember Dad saying I used to be like that. He used to say, I was going to have my name in lights, I would go all the way. I wonder what he would say about my relationship with Ben. Damn, he would be so disappointed.” I sighed thinking about my past.

Rick shook his head. “Don’t sell yourself short. Everyone goes through some shit at some stage in their lives. You are no stranger to that. I remember, who, don’t ask, but the saying speaks for itself. It’s not what happens to you that makes you stronger, but how you deal with it. Or something along those lines.”

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. Epictetus.”

He chuckled. “See, you are smart, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“Do you think she felt threatened by Steven, and that’s the reason why she wanted her own room?”

Rick shook his head. “No. She just wanted her own identity. Her own space. It’s natural. Remember, I’m a triplet so before you mentioned getting her, her own room and stuff, I was thinking the same thing. I didn’t need a book to think about it. Not criticizing, just saying it. I went through the same thing with my brothers. We changed our hair. Wanted all the same clothes, then went through the phase of wanting different clothes.”

“Shit, it makes sense! You’re a triplet, so a lot of what she’s going through you can relate to.”

He smiled. “Exactly.”

“Sometimes I think too much. I know it’s because with Ben, he did all the thinking for me. I’ve gone from not even thinking about what to wear, because Ben would have it mapped up for me, to having to think about everything.”

His face changed from being playful to being dead serious as his brows met, and he lifted his hand to stroke my chin. “You really went through the works, didn’t you?”

I nodded, and Rachel was no longer running from us, but toward us. As if she felt something was wrong. Rick decided to change the subject by telling me the plans for when we would visit San Fran.

I was so excited. The guys were going all out for me, which included leaving the twins with Aunt Elizabeth for the whole trip. I did question if it was a good idea seeing as technically we hadn’t spoken about a relationship, even if we acted as if we were in one. It was the only thing we had done… not one had made any commitment to me.

Nerves settled in as I started to think about what Rick had said about Maite. About her wanting more, and when push came to shove, he tossed her aside like a piece of trash. Would he do the same to me when he got whatever spiritual settling or whatever it is men need from women to be whole again?

“Are you ready to rock and roll?” Rick asked as the taxi pulled up at the airport. I nodded, but I could tell he was puzzled, as the excited Katie which left the penthouse had left the taxi, and was replaced by this unsure one.

He paid the driver, and I opened the door and stood by the curb. They exchanged the usual friendly greetings that so many travelers do. The same, good luck on your trip, been to San Fran, make sure to check out, etc. Everything was in one ear and out the next as I bit my lip.

Then the next thing I knew, Rick was standing by my side.

“Are you going to tell me what has got you rattled? You missing the twins already? Must admit, I’m doing the same, but…”

I didn’t wait for him to talk. I could tell he was nervous, but I had to get this off my chest before we boarded the plane. I had to find out where I stood. “Why did you and Pete decide the twins should stay behind?”

He rose an eyebrow, his green eyes searching mine as if to look for the answer between them, and to read my thoughts. “Thought you would love to see the city.”

I bit my lip again. He knew this wasn’t what I was asking, and probably he could sense it by the disappointment on my face.

“And we thought it would be nice to spend time with you. You know, the three of us together.”

I moved away as his hands, which cupped my shoulders, were distracting me. He said the right words, but it wasn’t enough; this wasn’t what I wanted or rather needed to hear.

“As some kind of sex toy,” I barked. Even my words and tone shocked me.

He shook his head, then with one hand, he skillfully moved the cases and the other moved me to the side.

“No. Not at all,” he muttered, but my heart was beating out of control. I started to get angry, feeling like a fool as I’d been for so many years with Ben. I promised myself I wouldn’t be a fool again, especially because this was getting out of hand. I said that I would find a place to stay, get some money, and do something with my life. Yet, I could feel myself falling for not only one brother, but the both of them.

“So, what’s going on, Rick? You going to get bored with me like you did with Maite once things get serious?”

He shook his head. “That’s not fair. You asked me what happened with Maite, and I told you. It had nothing to do with being bored. More of a case of I wasn’t in a good place, and she just happened to be there.”

As we stopped walking, we came to a dramatic stop. I decided to put it all out in the open and just say exactly how I was feeling.

“It’s just… I’m falling for you, and not just you, but Pete, too. And I’ve been hurt. I’m twenty-three and all I’ve done is put my life on hold and follow some jerk. I just don’t want to do that again. I can’t. I need to be a better person.”

He smiled, and for a second, I felt as if he was mocking me, but yet again, he put his hands on my shoulder.

“This is what Pete and I were talking about last night.” He cupped my chin and gently said, “We’re falling for you, too. Hook, line, and sinker. We don’t know where we’re going with this, but you being in our lives makes us better men. That part we’re clear on. And we want you in it, and not just to be the twin’s nanny, but something more. If you’re up for it.”

I wrapped my arms around him, feeling silly for not trusting him and thinking this was all part of some game. His tall frame lifted me as I wrapped not only my arms, but my legs around him.

“I’m more than up for it.”

He held me, then planted a gentle kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes thinking this was all too good to be true.

“I’m so into you, Rick Steele.”

He smiled. “I’m into you a lot more, Katie Baldson. Now, let’s go and get on the plane.”

He didn’t need to tell me twice. He gently put me on the ground, and I held on to his hand like a lost child as he guided me through the airport. The only thing on my mind was the trip, the one I was going to enjoy with not only one ex-Seal, but two.

AS WE LANDED in San Fran and went through the airport, I saw Pete looking through the crowd. He had a heart-shaped balloon and flowers in his hand. No one had ever given me flowers, let alone given me such a reception for meeting me.

Rick was right.

They were serious about having me in their lives, and they were all out to show their appreciation. As I closed nearer, no more was he searching the crowd as he smiled, “There you are!”

I ran into Pete’s arms. There was something erotic about being picked up and being swung around and kissed at the airport. I couldn’t resist it. I jumped up and kissed him. I know passengers were probably wondering what was going on, since Rick and I could hardly keep our hands off during the flight and here I was, running into another man’s arms. The crazy part about it was I didn’t mind leaving Rick. It was as if there was some mutual respect for our relationships, and they both knew they were important to me.

Also, even though they were triplets, I missed them for different reasons. Pete was the wild lover, the kind who would whisk me into the bathroom and want to get down and dirty. Rick was more the polite one. He kept his feelings more under wraps, but under the sheets he was a tiger. They both made me feel desired and wanted, something I craved in my relationship with Ben, who made me feel that I was the needy one. The one who wanted too much, and it wasn’t normal in a relationship. I’d seen family members and friends act that way. I was too young to just settle down, it was clear as both Rick and Pete had showed me there’s so much more to a relationship and I wanted all of it.

We’d only just started, but the passion of his lips enveloped me in the aiport.

I heard a voice, Rick’s. “Guys, keep it down. We can go home and do that.”

Pete cleared his throat as he put me down. “Sorry. Yeah, I got a little carried away. I missed you.”

I giggled. “Yeah, you’re not the only one.”

“So, can you guys wait till we get home for that?”

I rose an eyebrow, and said, “Boys, I’ll make sure that you enjoy tonight.”

“I did think we were going out tonight,” Pete said.

I shook my head. “Let’s stay in tonight. Maybe we’ll leave tomorrow.”

I did crave to see the sights of San Fran, but after Rick told me the boys wanted me in their lives, no more did it appeal to me. I could be free this long weekend with them; we had no twins to worry about, and everything was out in the open. I knew from this moment as I held their hands and we walked out of the airport, I wasn’t just falling in love with them… I’d already fallen.

THEY ALL STARED AT ME, and I felt exposed, but wanted, and it made me hot for them. I’d toyed with the idea for so long now in the back of my mind, and I wanted to know what it was like to have all three brothers between my legs, in my mouth, and maybe even more.

“Make me what you need.” I sighed as my hands reached for them.

“Don’t worry, baby. We know just what you need,” Rick said as he picked me up and carried me into the living room. Rick was meant to seduce me, and Pete was meant to make me fall in love—and they’d accomplished their jobs perfectly. Now, I needed all three of them to make it complete.

“Let me love you,” Pete said as I shrugged off my sweatshirt and he pulled down my pants. Rick went to one wing-backed chair as Rick removed his clothes. Then he knelt between my legs, pulled me down so I was just right, and took one juicy lick of my center.

“She’s ready,” I heard him say. My eyes were on Pete, and then on Rick, and I couldn’t breathe.

I’d always thought it would be weird and awkward with a lot of apologies, but my men knew what to do.

Rick adjusted himself in his pants, and I wanted to feel him in my hand. I looked over and saw that Pete’s hand hid his own erection, or perhaps he was simply holding it to ease the ache. “Why don’t you come over here with me?” I said it loud enough that there was no doubt I meant it.

Both did as I asked, and one went to each side of me. Rick waited between my thighs to worship me.

Rick turned my face to his and kissed me, deep and long, his tongue a sword that battled against mine. I held his face in my palm before I turned away and looked into Pete’s eyes.

“You’re so brave.” He kissed me. His hands came up to take a breast into his hand as he kissed me, and the soft stroke of his fingers against my nipple brought it all into reality.

This was actually happening.

I gasped when Pete’s tongue slid into my folds, then he pushed my legs wider apart. He slid the digit into me just as Rick took my other nipple into his mouth.

I’d lost control of myself and when my feet went up Rick’s shoulders to get some traction, I wasn’t aware of it. I wasn’t aware of how I looked as my hips twisted and my chest swayed, I just felt and moved to the rhythm of Pete’s tongue and the blood in my veins. I lost all touch with reality when he slid two more fingers into me and opened me wide.

I came apart so quickly, I knew this full-frontal assault was the best way to have done this. Creeping into it slowly would have been a mistake. Give it all to me at once, show me what’s possible, and make me fucking come. And they did.

Rick sucked at my clit until I screamed, even though I knew the night wasn’t over and I’d be begging for more as soon as my body caught up with itself.

“Shit, we should give her a break. Let her catch her breath at least.” Rick sighed as he started to pull away.

I wasn’t a sex addict or anything, but the idea of them stopping, them not making me feel like this over and over again, made me protest.

“No, don’t stop. Please, don’t stop. This all feels too good.”

Yesterday, I’d had no idea how or if I really wanted to do this, yet here I was, about to either do the best thing I’d ever done or fuck my life up completely. I took his hand and went down to the floor with him.

I made my way down to the floor and straddled his lower body. With eager fingers, I clutched his cock and then, with exquisite precision, I guided him into my body. I had almost all of him inside me when I paused.

“Don’t stop,” I demanded, suddenly bold, because I really was the one with the upper hand here. They wanted me.

“We won’t…” He held my gaze until I looked away. I looked back at Pete, who was naked and waiting.

“And you?” I asked softly, sure of what he would say.

Rick shook his head, bold, as if he didn’t need to think twice about it. “Yes, this isn’t just for tonight. This is until you tell us to stop.”

I felt as safe with them as I did when Dad was alive. He always made me feel safe and protected.

“I’m not sure you’re ready for all of it yet, Katie,” Rick growled. “I mean, we’ve never done anything like this. Share a woman. It’s all fucking new to us, too.”

Pete sighed, probably frustrated in taking a natural break, but we all needed to be on the same page.

“We’re brothers, and yeah, if someone had said hey guys, want to share the same woman, we would have been like, you’re fucking kidding me. Share?”

“I’ve read about it in a couple of books, and I thought it was one of the fairytale romances, but I really want to give this a try. I want us to be together.”

Rick rubbed his head. “And Stan… where does he fit into the picture?”

“Well, he ain’t fucking out. He’s our brother,” Pete said.

“I know, which is why, if we all agree, then I’m yours. Not just the pair of you, but Stan’s, too.”

Pete smiled. “He’ll come back home. I know for sure.”

I sank down on Rick the moment they knelt beside of me. I took Pete’s cock in my hand and began to stroke him as I started to ride Rick. I found the right rhythm for all of us.

I felt the surge of blood in their cocks, felt how hard they grew, heard their moans. I’d had them all individually, and now I could tell the differences between them even more.

I slowed my hand and focused on Pete. I squeezed my walls around Rick, quickened the way I moved on him, until I felt Rick go of first. His fingers had slid down to the point where I was joined with his brother. He’d teased at my clit, made me groan with the intensity of it all. But now, his fingers faltered, his pace slowed, and I felt his release in my hand as a sudden burst. It tightened things in me, sending bolts of pleasure down my spine, until I was with them, and we all got what we wanted most—a taste of heaven with each other.

I sank down onto Rick, exhausted and complete. I’d had concerns that this would be gross, that it wouldn’t live up to my expectations, but it had.

Pete stroked my hair and held me to his body. “Katie, we don’t know where you came from, it was as if you were sent to us from above to make us feel whole again. I can’t wait for Stan to come. Once he’s had some of your pleasure, he’ll be hypnotized just like us.”

I had power over these men. My men. My SEALs. For so long, I’d been made to feel so insignificant, and these guys had made me feel far from that. I began to sob in their arms, not out of pain but simply out of the pleasure and joy of being in their lives.

25

Pete

We’d spent the last couple of nights indoors not doing any of the itinerary which I had planned, and Rick usually would be all up in arms about not going along with the plans, but for some reason, he didn’t give a fuck.

He was so into Katie that the last thing he wanted to do was leave her side. He loved his kids, and we checked on them regularly with Aunt Elizabeth, who told us to stop calling. She had everything under control, and she even went as far as to say we need to leave the twins with her more often, not for the odd weekend, but a lot longer, like a week or two at times. She said they were getting older and more fun, so she was enjoying their company more.

“Are we going out today?” I asked Rick as he came into the kitchen. He had one eye open and he was either shocked to see me or he was still in a trance?

“I tell ya, Katie is like a tigress.”

I chuckled. “I know. What have we created?”

“We’ve awoken whatever was lying deep down inside of her, and now it’s all out!”

He didn’t even have a shirt on—something he would never do before, especially not at home. He yawned and stretched out. “This place is nice. Whose did you say it was again?”

“Russell Jeffries.”

He opened his mouth wide and stared at me for a brief second. “Bro, you mixing with the high-flyers now. Shit, you said some top hot shot, but you never said the top realtor and property tycoon had you working for him. Well done, man. I’m so fucking proud of you.”

Rick used to mock me, say that I was too friendly and knew too many people. Yeah, I did, but I knew that my social network would come in handy.

“Remember Abe, who I used to shoot hoops with as a kid?”

He sat down attentively as I told him the story, then he nodded his head.

“When you said you were going to be a big basketball star and we should all pay attention.”

I chuckled as I remembered my pipeline dream back then, which lasted for a cool two years. I had a short concentration span back then. As I got older, I developed it a lot more and put my passion into the construction business.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t mock me. Anyway, he’s in construction too, and said we should team up.”

“He’s the reason you’re here. You said Abe, but you were kinda vague. I gathered once we got here, then we would all talk about it. I got news of my own.”

Now, I was the one paying attention.

“Yeah, someone made an offer on the club, and I’m thinking of letting it go.”

He waited for a reaction, but I didn’t know what to say to him. I wasn’t really surprised.

“You’re not surprised, are you?”

“Nope. From the time you took on the manager, it was kind of clear you were taking a step back from it all.”

“With Stan gone, and now you’re going to be here a lot longer, but then I gathered this would be the case. Why else would you invite us here for a long weekend? I just feel like I’m the one who needs to get their teeth into something, the question is what?”

I was hungry, so I headed to the fridge to make something to eat. “Hungry?”

The grumbling sounds from his stomach answered the question. I got to work as I started making tacos, and Rick swiftly disappeared. No doubt to put some clothes on. I turned after getting everything out to start cooking, and he was wearing shorts and a shirt. I knew he couldn’t spend too long just half-dressed and walking around.

“Need help?”

I shook my head. “Got it. So, what you going to do, apart from being a dad?”

He shrugged. “I haven’t got a clue. I’m jealous of you and Stan, seems like you’ve both found your feet and I’m just drifting in the wind.”

“Isn’t that an Elton John song?”

“When did you get so sensitive? It is. It’s just that I didn’t think you would recognize it being a rock guy.”

I chuckled. “Doesn’t mean I never listen to the radio or go to a bar. I hear other tracks; I know other songs apart from AC/DC.”

He shrugged. “I suppose.”

“Damn, bro, you’re really like a little lost puppy. I’ve never seen you like this.”

Rick was the one always in control, the one who would always lift us up. I could tell he was the one who needed lifting. He had kids, Katie, and a lot of love in his house. Me, on the other hand, I would be working twenty-four-seven once this contract started in a couple of weeks, yet I was the one with a smile on my face and he seemed down.

His eyes lit up as soon as Katie came in the room wearing one of my shirts. God, she looked so fucking sexy. I wanted to take her over the counter and make love to her over and over again.

“Good morning,” she yawned, then covered her mouth, as if she was embarrassed about making such a loud noise.

“Afternoon. I didn’t think I would see you for at least a couple of hours.”

She moaned, “I know. I’m tired, but hungry, too.”

“Good job, you got up in time to get a taste of Pete’s tacos.”

She came up close to me, and then looked over the cooker. “They look too good.”

I pinched her butt. “Just like you.”

She giggled, but she didn’t move away. I moved as the resistance to take her was too strong.

“You could set up the table, if you want to help.”

She agreed, and she moved away from me, then back again. She was teasing me, taunting me as she traced a finger down my arm. She knew she had us under her thumb and now she was trying to test me.

“You keep going like that, you’re going to keep being hungry,” I growled.

She whispered, “I know.”

“Well, I for one would like real food for a change, then after, if Katie’s not too tired… we can play like before,” Rick said as he moved Katie away from me.

She giggled. “Spoiled-sport.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to keep my ever growing erection under control. She’d teased me and my cock wanted her for the taking, that was for sure. I knew if Rick wasn’t here, tacos for sure wouldn’t be on the menu.

“It’s burning!” Rick shouted, bringing me back down to earth. Yep, I had to keep everything in check and make sure I didn’t burn the place down. I was hungry for Katie, it was as if I couldn’t get filled up satisfying her. I wanted to explore her more and more all the time.

WE WERE FILLED with tacos and too sloppy to leave the table. Rick offered to clear up, but I could tell his heart wasn’t in it. He sat, talking about it, but made no attempt to get up and actually do it.

“There’s no rush. I need to check in with the twins,” Katie said as she sluggishly got up from the table. “Just need to find my phone.”

“It’s on the side table, next to the bed,” Rick said. Then he smiled at me, but I could tell he had something on his mind. “Before I came in here, I got a message from Stan. Kind of shocked me.”

I cleared my throat, thinking I had something to tell him. “I know. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about him, but I’ve been distracted. He says that he wants to come home. I told him I wouldn’t be around and you would welcome him with open arms.”

“So, you’ve been in touch?” Rick’s stare was intense, and it was clear there was nothing but disappointment in his voice.

“Yeah. Just with work and everything, I just didn’t get to tell you.”

“Don’t play a virgin, Pete. I don’t fucking get it. Both you and Stan act like I’m the big fucking bad wolf or something.”

He got up, ready to storm out. I was trying to think of the right things to say. I could have played along and pretended I knew nothing, but I hated to lie to my bro since he deserved a lot more than that.

“Boys, calm down,” Katie said as she entered.

“I thought you were calling the twins?”

She smiled. “I was going to, but then I remembered Aunt Elizabeth said I needed to stop checking in with them and just enjoy my time here. What happened in the five minutes I left you alone?”

Rick pointed at me. “Well, remember I told you I hadn’t heard from Stan. Then he just texts and says he’ll be back home the day before Thanksgiving. Just like that. No explanation. No sorry for scaring you, cause you know our mother committed suicide and I have the same fucking traits as she does, so I know you would be worried and I fucking don’t want you to be.”

I stood, feeling uneasy about Rick’s words, even though I knew he was right. He wanted an apology, and me being the stubborn fool, I wasn’t going to give it to him.

“Well, maybe Pete didn’t know how to tell you. Stan had so much shit going on that it was as if he was ready to explode. Maybe he exploded, and now he was ready to face you both again. I mean, he’s human. We all are. Just calm down, Rick.”

Her eyes were soothing, and I knew Rick always got angry when someone told him to calm down, but as Katie took his hand and they both sat down together, I knew Katie was someone we needed in our lives. Everything was evidential about it before, but the more time we spent with her, the more it became crystal clear.

“Sorry, Pete. Just feel like you guys are treating me like Dad. I’m not fucking Dad.”

That was the problem, as much as he denied it and we hated to admit it. Rick was a copy of Dad. He spoke to us with orders, never giving us a chance to express how we feel, just like Dad did.

“Pete?” Katie asked as she stroked Rick’s hand, and it was as if they’d both remembered I was in the kitchen.

“That’s the issue, Rick. You are every bit a copy of Dad. Both Stan and I are worried about disappointing you, so sometimes we forget you are our brother and not our dad. You’re not hundred percent like him, but you know there are similarities.”

“It sounds nuts, seeing as you’re triplets. But you guys are so different,” Katie said.

“Yeah, just wish my brothers could see that.”

Once again, he stood up to leave, but this time, Katie motioned for him to sit down and then she sat on his lap. She calmed him, something I never knew anyone could do but him.

“We’re just talking, there’s nothing wrong with talking and expressing how you feel. Something I haven’t been able to do for so long, and you guys showed me that it’s okay to be weak, to cry, to be strong, and just be me. I want you guys to feel the same way, too.”

I stood as she pressed her lips against Rick’s. I stroked her hair, listening to the sounds they were making, hearing my brother getting aroused, as I kneeled and moved her head away from Rick’s to mine.

“Katie, you really are special,” Rick groaned as I stood and lifted her and headed to the bedroom. I didn’t want to fuck her. No, I wanted to make love to her. I had one eye open making sure I was moving in the other direction, the only sounds were Katie’s moans and the footsteps of my brother behind us as we all headed to the bedroom.

26

Stan

I expected to get back home earlier than scheduled, but between being so nervous and eating one too many pies at diners and breaking my fucking diet, I ended up spending four hours on the road, and not two. I was so fucking excited about my news. I got the letter through the mail, I was in, and I felt like a child on Christmas Day as I saw the letter. I didn’t even have a Plan B, how messed up was that? I knew I had exactly four weeks before I had to officially start, so there was no time like the present to face the music. Besides, it was Thanksgiving weekend. I wanted to spend it not only with my brothers, but with the twins, too. It was crazy, when I lived here I hated them being around, because they got all the attention and everything was about them. Every single thing we would talk about the club and the conversation would always revert to them, and it was nuts. They were my niece and nephew and I was a grown man, so it shouldn’t have felt like a competition. I felt stupid about how I felt when I lived here. In size I was big, but underneath it all, I was a small child dying to come out of my shell. Unwilling to accept all the challenges in which life threw out us as adults. I’d hidden behind Rick for too long. He replaced Dad once he died, and both Pete and I had let him.

I was sitting in the living room, wondering where everyone was. I text them all to say I was coming, and Pete said he was in town, too. Yet, he wasn’t here.

“Stan, is that you?”

It must have been Katie. I could hear her coming from behind. I thought no one was in, but then again, I never checked her room, just the twins and my brothers.

I stood while taking a deep breath. I knew what she was going to say the moment she saw me. I spun around, and as she froze in her steps, I could tell she was shocked. I couldn’t believe it was the same innocent Katie I’d left behind. She wore a yellow dress, and she wasn’t wearing a bra and part of me wondered if she did that because she wasn’t wearing one for my brothers’ benefit or because she was at home. Her erect nipples were on display through the thin cotton dress. My eyes danced up to meet her eyes, the same dark eyes, but no more with the darkness and sadness. If anything, they glowed under the light make-up she had on. Her hair was shorter, too. It was pinned loosely on her head, but the few strands which were hanging out made me know no more was her hair down her back but more to her shoulders. It suited her, as well as the weight she’d put on. Ironically, it was as if she’d put on the weight in which I’d lost over the last few weeks.

She ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, and it took me by surprise.

“We weren’t sure if you were coming. The guys told me to wait for you, but I went to the room and fell asleep. Even walking tires me out these days.” She was talking so fast, I didn’t get a chance to get a word in. “Sorry. I’m talking too much. Not sure why, but it seems to be a thing I’m doing these days.”

I nodded, trying to take in the new Katie. The one who smelled like strawberries, the one who wasn’t nervous around me. This new breath of fresh air Katie. The one I thought I had to stay away from, but couldn’t think of anything better than being with her all the time—even if it wasn’t an option with my new role.

“Don’t worry. I was nervous about coming back, too.”

She put her hand over her mouth. “Nervous? Why? This is your home. It’s not because of me, is it?”

Who could resist those big brown eyes.

“No. It’s just that I didn’t leave under the best circumstances.”

“Oh shoot, no one cares about that. Everyone’s just happy you’re home, and once they see the weight you’ve lost, I’m sure they’ll be so proud of you, too. It’s like you were away for six months.”

“No. Only eight weeks,” I corrected her. And I realized no matter how much weight I lost, or even changed my clothes. I couldn’t even be the average hot guy, that dorky, nerdy part of me would always be there and the biggest part of my transition was accepting the fact that it was me. This was me. Nothing wrong with being me, and I had to stop apologizing to myself and everyone else for it.

She laughed. “Well, it feels a lot longer.”

I shook my head, wishing she wouldn’t tease me. “Please, I made your life horrible and I must apologize for it. You shouldn’t even be talking to me.”

She motioned for us to sit down. It was clear we had to talk, but it was as if I was standing ready to make an escape as I’d done before. I was a different man now, a better one. I just had to start proving it, not to everyone else, but me. I could keep my emotions under check and not run away at the first sign of not getting my way.

“I did take the twins. Then, I lied and pretended to be their nanny. I got in the way of a perfectly good nanny who was qualified to do the job. I wasn’t exactly a saint, either.” She sighed as she summed up all the things she’d done wrong, too.

I shook out my hand, seeing as we were not going to agree on who was the villain in this story, even though I was pretty sure it was me. She didn’t want me to take the rap for it, and I wanted to be a gentleman and allow her to accept my apology, and I knew she would in time. I just had to be patient.

“Truce?”

She dove in to hug me. I didn’t remember her being so touchy-feely before, but she seemed to be so much so as she held on to me.

“No matter what, they missed you for sure, and I felt like crap feeling like the person who had somehow brought friction into this home.”

I pulled away from her, thinking this was all wrong. I was the one who should be on my hands and knees begging for her forgiveness, not the other way around.

“Look, Katie, it’s all done. I mean, let’s just put it in the past. I’ve got over it. I just want you to do the same.”

“Sure, I don’t know why I feel like this. I suppose it’s because the guys went to the airport to pickup Mom.”

Oh, so that explains why they were not here, but not why she didn’t go with them. Maybe it was the way I was looking at her, but she could sense I was thinking about why she was here.

“I didn’t feel well, so I stayed here. I’m not sure why. I think I ate something funny or something. I’ve been feeling sick all day.”

I stroked her chin and she looked at me, then we were locked in a gaze. I didn’t hide away or try to deny how I felt about her. They were as plain as day before I left, and hadn’t changed since I came back.

I didn’t drag her face back or try to force her to kiss me as much as I was dying to do it right now. I took in her face, while gently working my fingers up her arm. Then, my hand moved up to release her bun. I wanted to see her hair loose, I remember before I left I used to love it when her hair bounced off her back. I pulled back a moment to ensure this is what she’d wanted, what I’d craved for so long, but had been too scared to do it.

Her dark eyes smoldered, her lips were soft as I kissed her once again, beckoning for her to come back and sample me deeper. I wanted more, but I knew as I held on to her that there was a time and place for everything. I’d just come back, and already I had her in my arms.

She smiled at me as I released her.

“I was hoping you felt the same way about me still. I thought maybe there was someone else,” she whispered as if she was trying to gain consciousness. My cock started to grow to its full length. I could have taken her on the sofa, but then I knew any moment not only could my brothers walk in but her mom, too.

“No one. I haven’t stopped thinking about you.”

She was about to say something else, but then the elevator doors chimed and I knew this conversation would have to be continued another time. I had to be brave, even if my heart was pounding out of control and my cock was telling me to take her in my arms and finish what I started.

We both jumped up red-faced as the sound of footsteps entered the penthouse. There was laughter and cheers, as both Pete and Rick approached me. There were tears of joy as the other lady beside them, who was clearly Katie’s mom, an older reflection of her daughter, ran to the other side of them into Katie’s loving arms.

“I was so worried when I didn’t see you at the airport. The guys told me you were sick. You alright?” her mom asked.

“Damn, man! You’re a sight for sore eyes!” Pete said as he wrapped his arms around me. “Damn, I’ve missed you.”

Was he crying? Pete? Nah, the same guy who used to tell me as a kid, big boys don’t cry. He was letting his emotions all out as he kept holding me, practically squeezing me tight.

“Shit, where did you leave the other half of our brother? You’ve lost weight, man! Tons!” Rick said as he patted me on the back from behind. It was clear they had changed. I was expecting to come back and there being a storm, but it was the opposite. They were happy to see me. Just like Greg said they would be, and I felt like a fool for being away for too long.

“Fuck, Pete, put me down!” I barked as I started choking, as if he squeezed me any tighter, then I would be choked to death.

“Sorry, man. I’m such a wuss.”

“Hormones!” Rick joked, and it was then I noticed Katie and her mom were no longer by our side. Maybe they went to her room? Either way, it was good to catch up with my brothers for a little while.

After I finished coughing—yeah, I exaggerated it slightly after Pete released me from a killer of a hug.

Rick laughed. “Yeah, you were always the drama queen.”

Knowing my antics a little too well, I couldn’t deny that I was dramatizing the whole situation, but I couldn’t help it. As I saw Pete wipe what felt like tears of joy or probably sadness, either way, I couldn’t believe not only had the penthouse changed, but they had, too.

“What happened to this place?” I pointed to the tree, one we never put up for Thanksgiving, and quarreled about putting up for Christmas. The sofa, which was black and had no cushions, was replaced with a brown leather one, with cushions and there were so many pictures up on the wall, mainly of the twins and a few with Katie. Beanbags, a little play area, and everything which made this place no longer seem like a bachelor pad, but I could see some familiar colors and furnishings like the red, earthly rug, which was in our old home—something I thought was thrown out.

“Rachel’s getting ready to run the next marathon. The twins are more active. They have kids from their playgroup and sometimes they go to their houses and it’s all about the kids, you know. So, we had to make it feel more like a family home, not only for them but for us, too,” Rick explained.

I figured, but I never pictured Rick being a full-time dad, but as he spoke and explained about the changes which had been made, he told me about selling the club and just being a dad. I wanted to ask him why Katie was still here if he was a hands-on dad.

It didn’t matter. I had a few days, and I had news of my own. It was clear as Pete told me about his changes, that not only had I officially left the nest but he had done it, too. He was excited about his project and couldn’t wait for me to visit him. I had to tell them, I couldn’t keep it in any longer, I felt as if I was going to explode.

“I’ve joined the police academy, and I’ve been a mess man. Not like before, but the idea of wanting something so bad and not knowing if you’ve been accepted and shit. Now, I just have to join and pass!”

They both stood, with their eyes wide open, as if they couldn’t believe the news.

“Hell, yes!” Pete said as he high-fived me.

“If it’s what you want, then I’m happy for you, man,” Rick said as he hesitated, but gave me a man-hug.

“I didn’t know what I wanted, but then as I left and spent time with Greg and his family, I soon realized I’d been a SEAL to help others. Not like police help others, but to serve the country, but it was something I felt comfortable doing. When we left, I was lost. And Rick, you did great. I mean, you looked out for us. But there was no one looking out for you until the twins came along, and your priorities shifted. Once again, I felt lost. I don’t feel that way anymore. For the first time in since forever, I feel focused.”

“Our little brother’s finally grown up,” Pete said, and he clapped not as if he was mocking me, but congratulating me for the changes I’d made in my life. Even the words escaping my mouth surprised me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a conversation with them. I mean, it would be by text or I would avoid all types of confrontations with them. I was proud of myself in so many ways, sure I’d called Pete a couple of times. The conversation would be short, but I knew I was moving in the right direction.

“Are we going to stand here all day like a bunch of pussies, or are we going to go out and have a drink?” Pete asked, and immediately, Rick’s eyes darted to the clock. He was most likely thinking it was a little too early to start drinking.

“What about Katie and her mom?”

Rick waved his hand, as if to dismiss this idea of staying here. “They have a lot to catch up on. I’ll send Katie a text and tell her that we’re heading out. Don’t worry about it. We’ll go to the Dublin’s Irish Whiskey Pub.”

“Fuck! We haven’t been there in like forever.”

Pete laughed as we headed to the elevator. “Little bro, we’ve been going there in your honor. I was worried you wouldn’t show up. This is really a Thanksgiving to remember.”

“I’ll say. Tomorrow, Aunt Elizabeth is coming with the twins. Home Restaurant’s making a delivery of the food, so no one’s cooking and we can sit, eat too much, and catch up before everyone heads off their own way.” Rick sighed as if he was sad about the departure before it was taking place.

“San Diego’s not far, neither is San Fran, so we can all keep in touch and visit each other.”

“We need to keep tight and not drift apart like we’d done over the last few weeks,” Pete agreed. We waited for the elevator and everyone wanted to know my secret diet. I smiled at the good old times, when my brothers and I were like this—friends and happy to be in each other’s company. No more did I think about the past and how our relationship had broken down, but only the future. I’d hesitantly put my things in my old room, I remembered opening the door and expecting it to be turned into a storage closet or something. For some reason, no matter how many times Greg or anyone else told me, they are my brothers and they love me. I just didn’t believe them because I’d forgotten about the way we used to be before we joined the marines. It was clear leaving did us good, the stint of having PTSD and being dismissed had put us into a darkness—one which I didn’t realize how deep we’d gone until I left and finally saw the light.

I realized the light wasn’t just shining on me, but on all of us. Rick was so uptight, he would never grow a beard or even have long hair. Here he was, with his hair hanging by the sides and flicking it. As for Pete, he was clean-shaven as always, and I was somewhere in between. We were triplets at heart, but one thing for sure, we all looked different on the outside. Moving was the best thing I did for all of us. I felt proud about doing it, even if at the time I felt like a little boy scared to act like a man for once in my life.

27

Katie

I took Mom’s hands as the boys exchanged words and they were happy. It was good to see them like that after the way Stan left so many weeks ago. Seeing him today made me feel as if I’d known him for years. He’d changed so much, not only physically had he lost a couple of pounds or probably more, but his eyes and even the way he was dressed reminded me of when I first met Rick. All clean-shaven and well polished, not the Rick I know today. I bet even Stan was surprised to see Rick had changed and wasn’t as uptight as he used to be, the twins are to thank for him completely letting his guard down.

“I’m so happy you’re with the boys. They seem so nice. I can’t wait to meet the twins.”

I was helping Mom unpack in what used to be my old room. I hadn’t told her about the sleeping arrangement. I knew she wouldn’t disapprove, but then, I didn’t know if she would approve, either.

“The way those boys spoke about you, I was trying to figure out if Rick really was your boss or your boyfriend.”

I closed my eyes as I turned to face her. I stopped putting her clothes and hanging them in the closet, and decided tomorrow’s Thanksgiving, so I should just be open and tell her what’s really going on.

“He is.”

She hugged me. “Oh good, I was hoping you would say that. I want you to be happy, you know that.”

I held on to her hands as I had to tell her the other news. Not only was Rick my boyfriend and was I looking after the twins, but there was more to this household.

“Pete’s my boyfriend, too!”

She screamed and then covered my mouth. Her dark eyes lit up as if they were about to jump out of their sockets. “No!”

I nodded. “Yes.” Then I covered my mouth and giggled like a little girl, because it was the first time I’d actually told someone. When we came back from San Fran, we told Aunt Elizabeth, but she’d already guessed it. She said she knew before she’d met me there was something special about me. Now, we had to tell Stan, but then I assumed the guys were already out talking about it. They said they would approach him with the idea since they knew Stan was into me—even if he never acted like it. They also told me he was a virgin, somethingI found impossible to believe, but then I knew the boys wouldn’t lie to me.

Every time Mom let go of her mouth, she would laugh so loud and hold it again. Years of being a teacher had made her humble, but I could tell by the way she dressed with heels and her black shift dress, something had changed. Whenever she went out of town she would never wear more than a jeans and shirt, but today, she dressed up. She said she was coming to L.A. and she wanted to fit in. Now, she looked more like the sister that I never had, more than my mom.

“I can’t believe it. You got out of the realms of that narcissistic bastard, and you’ve hooked up with not one SEAL, but two.”

I shrugged. “Maybe not just two… I mean, I want them to be the way they were before. Brothers who would do anything for each other. I know Stan’s into me.”

She titled her head as she motioned for me to sit on the edge of the bed next to her. “I think he’s a little more than just into you judging by the way he looked at you when we walked in…”

“I know, but he’s been gone for months. We don’t know if he’s coming home for good or not.”

She smiled, not saying anything but just using her hand to cup my face. My precious mom, who I turned my back on and left, with Ben claiming he was the love of my life. Thank God she forgave me, because one thing’s for sure, I needed her more than ever now.

“Do they know?”

I frowned, wondering what she was talking about.

“That you’re pregnant, silly.”

I waved my hand and dismissed the idea of it. Where the hell did she come up with that idea?

“No, I’m just feeling a little under the weather. I think it’s something I ate. Nothing more than that. So, don’t get excited, there’s no baby in here.”

She tapped my hand and no more was she laughing or even chuckling a little. She was looking at me with all the seriousness in the world.

“I’m a teacher. I see a lot of pregnant women, and believe me, sweet child. You are one of them. When was the last time you had your period?”

I dismissed the idea of it. “No. I’ve never been regular. Even when I was on the pill… Oh, crap!”

“What?”

My mind was searching for the answer like crazy, or how to re-iterate what was going on inside my mind as I took my hands back and my mouth naturally fell open as it dawned on me. I jumped off the bed as if it was hot coal. “No, no, and no!”

I was holding my hand to my heart, which was racing out of control, as Mom’s words suddenly make more sense.

“Why hadn’t I thought about this?”

She took my arm and spun me around, to stop me from pacing up and down the room and to make sense, or at least speak to her.

“Ben and I hadn’t had sex for weeks. He said I smelled, worked too much, I wasn’t attractive, you name it.”

“Enough about Ben already.”

“Anyway, I ran out of pills and decided it was another expense, so I stopped. I mean, this was like six months ago. I came here was too scared and worried the guys would find out about me lying.”

I nodded, letting her take in all the information, because I told her over the phone the truth, the reason how I’d become a nanny in the first place.

“Then I was too worried about being kicked out. Then, I spent time getting into a routine with the twins, but then I ended up being blackmailed by Stan, and I was worried about the guys finding out the truth, and if they learned it, they would want me out. Every single day, I’d been panicking about it, then I found out they knew. So, then I ended up thinking I was in a relationship with Pete. Then, we had the crazy row and he left. All of this happened in the short space of four months, I didn’t think for one minute about the pill. I mean, I told them I was on the pill, but being on it and not taking it are two different things. What a fool I’ve been. What am I going to do?”

She sighed. “Sweet girl. Why didn’t you just come home? You put yourself through all this stress, and I don’t understand why, or why you are so stubborn.”

I waved my finger at her. “I remember Nan saying you were not much different when you were younger. You were pretty stubborn yourself.”

Even though my time with Ben was a lot less to do with me being stubborn and just wanting to get away.

“I had to get away from the house. After Dad died, something in me died. I didn’t realize how much of me died until it was too late, and I was chasing after Ben and living a life in which I felt I didn’t want to live anymore.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You going to tell the boys then? Or do you want to wait a bit?”

I took a deep breath. Now was the perfect opportunity to go out and find out if what Mom suspected was true—if I really was knocked up. I wouldn’t even know what to do if I was.

I grabbed her hand. “Mom?”

“What is it? You look scared?”

I inhaled so deep, I didn’t want to let it out or let go of her hand.

“What if they don’t want to know. I mean, they have twins. We were in San Fran only a couple of weeks ago, and we agreed to us being a foursome. I mean, this is a bit much. More babies. Who needs more babies?”

“What do you mean? That’s my grandchild you’re talking about. One thing hasn’t changed for sure, you’re still panicking for no reason. The way those guys look at you, I’m pretty sure if they know you’re carrying their child, they’ll welcome him or her with open arms. You said they’ve gone out right?”

I nodded, feeling too speechless to speak.

“Let’s go to the pharmacy, get a test, and confirm what I already know.”

Again, I nodded, thinking Mom had come here to celebrate Thanksgiving, not have to deal with all this drama.

“You ready to leave?”

I nodded, taking deep breaths, thinking about the yoga classes that I said I would start. I needed to get my emotions under check, but I was crying and panicking like crazy—the same thing I did whenever I was on my period. Mom was right; I didn’t need a test to confirm what we both already knew. I was pregnant; I didn’t know who was the daddy, and I didn’t even know if it mattered. They’d just been reunited with Stan, and this could be the thing to bring the storm back into the penthouse.

Mom was right, one step at a time. I had to confirm that I was pregnant, and what came next would have to be figured out.

WE BOTH SAT in the bedroom, the one where Mom had confirmed I could be pregnant. The one I used to sleep at night, fantasizing about Rick and Pete, until the fantasy became a reality and I moved into Rick’s room. I came here with only one bag—the bag had grown so much in the span of a few months—and I worried I would have to find a new place to stay if I was pregnant.

“Do you want me to go in the bathroom with you?” Mom said as she held the test.

It was nuts. I refused to pick it up from the pharmacy, as if holding it in my hands would make it real. It didn’t make a difference, but as I recited a hundred times in my head, I shouldn’t be pregnant right now. I didn’t feel sick and somehow, I’d managed to convince myself I had some fake pregnancy signs.

I shook my head, then she shoved the test into my hand.

I stood looking at her, practically crying, and I hadn’t even peed, let alone peed on the stick.

“Okay, so what you do is pee a little, then the heart of the pee, you put the stick under it. Got it?”

I nodded. Thinking maybe if I peed a little too much, then I would get the dead end of the pee and it would be negative.

“Katherine Andrea Baldson, go in there and pee on that stick. Stop being such a baby.”

That word. The one word I didn’t want to hear right now. Baby.

“Do you want me to come in and pull your panties down and put you on the toilet?”

“Mom.” I sighed, thinking she was going a little overboard, but she did have a point. I had no idea what time the boys would be back, and I needed to find out and figure out what to do beforehand. Thanksgiving was tomorrow, the twins would be back, and I didn’t know if I could spend the night in Rick’s or Pete’s arms, knowing I could be having their child.

The test only gave a round about date on how many weeks I was, but that wouldn’t help me in the slightest because I’d managed to sleep with not only one, but two of them in the same week. Thanksgiving was something I was looking forward to at first. Now, it was going to be a disaster, and I sighed thinking about my hopes of the future being shattered.

“Just remember, if you want me to come in, then no problem,” Mom shouted from the other side of the door. I had visions of her coming in and forcing me to pee.

God, Katie, just get it together. Mom’s trying to be helpful. She wants me to get it all over with before the guys get home.

“Here goes nothing!” I sighed as I opened the packet, read the instructions, and started to get to work. Who knew peeing would be so difficult when it has to be done with a pregnancy test. I thought about all the women, who like me, dreaded the thought of being pregnant.

Then again, what exactly was I doing with my life?

Rick was still paying me as if I was a nanny. I was supposed to be using this time to go and figure out what to do with my life, but I hadn’t been doing that. I’d just been enjoying living with Rick and the twins.

The pee started to trickle out, and I thought about what Mom said. How the heck do you know if it’s the beginning, middle, or end of the pee? After I held it for a little, then I put it in the middle of my legs, and it came pouring out. Trying to direct the damn test and hold my pee so it flowed uncontrollably was proving to be difficult, but I managed to do it in the end. I had more than enough to figure out what I already suspected.

I put the test on the floor, got up, and Mom was shouting again. “Are you sure you don’t need any help?”

I didn’t reply, but flushed the toilet, and proceeded to wash my hands and wipe them. I looked in the mirror, trying to see what Mom had said earlier. She was right, I looked different. I was glowing, my skin felt fresher, but I thought it was due to the new skin product I bought. They have been advertising it like crazy, and I felt like trying something new. My eyes stretched even further down to the shirt I was wearing, and my breasts looked as if they had a new lease of life. Pete had said only the other night he loved them so much, he’d never said that before and still nothing registered. I’d been too busy thinking about Mom coming to visit, worrying about her judging me, but she’d done the complete opposite—it was as if it was nothing to her. After wiping my hands, and then opening the door, I saw Mom sobbing while covering her eyes.

“Hey, Mom, what’s up?” I went to hug her. She was the same height as me, but she’d lost a little weight, and for some reason, felt a lot smaller.

“Now, I’m being the dramatic one. I just thought about your dad… I hadn’t thought about him in years, and if he was here. Him not being around to see his grandchild… I don’t know. I suppose I was just getting a little too sentimental.”

Dad.

Of course!

They say time heals grief, and I felt guilty for not thinking about him. I hadn’t done for a long time, not because he was a bad man. No, he was the best. It was just, it’d been so long ago, and for the longest while it’d been only Mom and I, then Ben came into my life and it’d been all about him. Dad. Hmm, what would he think about all this? Would he be happy? Or annoyed about me not doing anything for myself?

I shook my head at the idea of thinking badly about the dead. No, he would be proud and rooting me on for having the strength to leave Ben. Anything was better than staying with that pig.

“He would be proud of you, you know that, right?”

“Proud? Mom, I live with three guys. Well, not exactly. A couple of them have moved out. So, not really three.”

She chuckled. “Is that the only thing you see when you look at your life? You live with three guys?”

I tilted my head as she broke away from my arms and headed to the test, which was still on the floor. I was too nervous to look at it, let alone pick it up.

“Well, the guys were telling me about the way you look after the twins. The fact they were broken, and if it wasn’t for you, they don’t know where they would be.”

“Wait, so you knew I was with both of them before I told you?”

“Uh-ha!”

She bent down to pick up the pregnancy test, then she smiled as she said, “Looks like I’m going to be a granny.”

I sighed as I looked at the two lines, thinking she was right. I wasn’t so excited about being a mom. It was one thing being a nanny, that part was easy; it was a completely different story when it came to being a mom. One I knew nothing about, but had to learn quickly. My heart sank at the idea of telling the guys and them being disappointed with the idea of another child being in the penthouse.

EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING and joking as the food came, and we were all dressed and ready to spend Thanksgiving together. I wished I hadn’t done the test, you know the big kid in me. The one who didn’t want to face anything and wanted to continue in the happily ever after—the vision I’d had off today in my head.

“Right, the table is set. The twins are ready, are we eating or what?” Aunt Elizabeth smiled as she stroked the arm of her boyfriend. Yes, it seemed as if everyone was happy in a relationship. I could be too, if I wasn’t so fucking nervous.

They spent a lot of money on a wooden round table from Western Heritage Furniture. Rick had a huge payout when he sold the club, and Pete, with his job, somehow they’d managed to have enough to live comfortably. No, for us all to live comfortably. I was impressed with the craftsmanship and details that went into the table. It spun and could seat up to seventeen people, Rick said it was better than a square table, because we could easily be seated and face each other. I didn’t think about it when no one sat there, but now with everyone taking their seats, I could see what he was talking about. A family event. Something I hadn’t been party to for a long time. Mom only arrived yesterday, and already they were making her feel like part of the family, too.

My hands were trembling as I held the potato salad with only one hand, not thinking about what I was doing, but more worried about telling Pete and Rick and their reaction to the news. I didn’t even know who the father was. What a mess. I shook the idea out and just focused on what I was thinking before everyone turned up, which was to have a nice Thanksgiving. I headed to the table, but for some reason, I wasn’t concentrating or my feet decided to do their own thing, and I nearly fell.

Fuck!

“Hey, it’s okay,” Mom whispered as she headed to my side to help me clear up the mess on the floor. I couldn’t believe it. I dropped the salad, one we couldn’t eat.

“The potato salad!”

Rick laughed. “Chill, there’s like two potato salads. I mean, one less plate, isn’t a big deal. We could all do with a diet.”

“Really, Rick! So, now I’m fat to you. You didn’t think it last night!” I barked with my hands on my hips. This is what Pete meant when he was holding my breasts; he wasn’t saying he loved it, more of a case of they’re so big.

“You know what, I don’t feel like eating, seeing as I’m so fat!”

With my parting words, I stormed off to my old room, but then I remembered it was Mom’s room, so I headed to the other side of the penthouse, wondering if someone was going to say something. All I could hear was Rachel bang something on her chair. She was hungry; Rachel seemed to have more of a temper the older she got. She had a nice side to her, a cute one. But when it came to sleeping and eating, she wasn’t a toddler to be messed with, not by any accounts.

As soon as I got to the room, I slammed the door behind me. I sat on the bed, waiting for someone to come.

Nothing.

No one.

No one called after me, no one even said anything, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was complaining about Rachel, but I’d made a fool of myself, a big fat fool. I couldn’t believe I’d acted so dramatically after what Rick had said. I was silly, but I was scared. This fairytale romance was going to come to an end, and I hated myself for letting it.

For the first time in a long time, I was happy and my carelessness was going to throw it all away. I didn’t know who to hate more. I slumped down on the bed and faced the ceiling. Rick had mirrors above his bed and looking down on me was my reflection. Not a pretty sight and I didn’t know who to despise?

Myself.

Life.

Even God.

Everything about this scenario didn’t seem fair, and I wanted to turn my head and run out of the door, but as I faced the door, I saw all three of them standing and looking at me.

“Can we come in?” Stan asked with pleading eyes, as if he was too scared to come in. Both Pete and Rick were huddled behind him.

“Sure. This is Rick’s room.” I sighed as I avoided eye contact.

“It’s our room,” Rick said as he gently shut the door.

“This is too much for you, isn’t it, Katie?” Pete asked as he hovered near the bed. “The three of us being here, like this. Too much. Too soon.”

“You’re young, we get it. Now, there’s the three of us. You. The twins. It’s all too much,” Rick said as he went to the other side of me.

“Can we let her speak?”

I looked up, and it felt as if I was Goldilocks with three bears, but I wasn’t blonde, I didn’t think they were about to eat me up, and I was pregnant. I could see guilt written on all their faces, so I decided to just come out and say the reason I blew up like some crazy person in their face.

“I’m pregnant!”

Their mouths dropped, and I remembered how I felt when Mom said I was pregnant. I could see the reflection on their faces. Stan was the one who held out his hand, and his reaction surprised me. I expected him to be mad, but it was as if his time away had really changed him and made him into the man I wanted him to be.

“This is fantastic news. I mean, we did plan to ask you after the meal and everything, but I’m thinking this is the right time. What do you think, guys?” Stan asked, but his eyes were not focused on me, but on Rick instead.

“You were brought into this house to be a nanny, but we’ve all connected with you in some way and we don’t want to let you go. Well, I don’t anyway….” Rick began to weep. Rick. The dad of the three of them was really a gentle giant underneath it all.

He went down on one knee and said, “Will you, Katie Baldson, be my wife?”

I turned my head to both Pete and Stan, who were bright-eyed as Rick opened the box, and I saw the biggest diamond ring I’d ever seen.

I took back my hand and said, “But we don’t know who the daddy is?”

Pete laughed. “We don’t care. None of us will be uncles. We’ll all be daddy to our baby.”

I cupped my face, unable to take it all in, thinking it was all too much.

“So?” Rick asked as he wobbled on the floor. This is when I realized I wasn’t the only nervous one, but he was, too.

“Yes! Yes!” I screamed and with it, the door swung open. It seemed the whole family was waiting on the other side of the door. Everyone was cheering, and Rick’s lips enveloped mine, then he passed me to Stan, and then to Pete. Somewhere along the line, they’d decided I was to be shared, and they all wanted me in their lives.

I’d been questioning for months my place in life. It was as if at this moment, the question had been answered for me.

What would I do with my life?

I’ll be a wife.

A friend.

A lover.

And most importantly, the part which was the dearest to me… a mother not only to our unborn child, but the twins, too.

EPILOGUE

Katie

I WAS IN THE PENTHOUSE, thinking about my three men and how they’ve changed my life. I’d gone from the shy nanny to not having just one baby, but three for Pete. The guys had accepted our new arrangement, and the year had swiftly passed by.

“Sorry, are you Katie Baldson?” a voice cried out as soon as I got out of the building. I was taking the twins for a walk, something I’d been doing for the last couple of months. I used to do it with Stan, then Pete, but the twins were older and pretty good on their feet.

“Mama,” Rachel said as she pulled on my hand. Stan offered to come with me, but I felt like spending some time with them alone. I hadn’t done it in a while.

“We need to go.” I turned to face the small-framed woman who had spoken to me. It was then it hit me, as she bent down to face Rachel—they were a copy of each other. The same hazel eyes, the same warm smile, and long dark hair. Everyone said that Rachel was a mirror-image of her mom, whereas Steven was of his dad.

“Baby. I just want to talk to mama one minute, mi cariño, okay?”

It was as if Rachel, who never spoke to strangers, let alone listened to them, automatically stopped yanking my arm. She found a calming relief by talking to her. She stopped and then looked at me.

I agreed with her. “Yes, we need to talk. Follow me.”

My heart was pounding out of control. I had to go home at some point, something I never had the heart to do. It would mean everyone knowing I was with three men. It was crazy; I shouldn’t care, because Mom knew and had accepted it, and everyone who we knew in L.A. knew about our relationship. But people back home… that was another hurdle—one I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to face.

Now, what? She’d be gone for so long, dumped her kids and now she was back. Not only was she back, but she wanted to talk to me. I thought Rachel and Steven were fed up with being inside all the time. They should be in daycare right now, they needed interaction with other kids. The twins were only babies, but Rachel and Steven were older and they needed stimulation, besides I couldn’t give them all the attention they needed and deserved all the time.

“Have you spoken to Rick?”

She shook her head. It didn’t take a genius to figure out she was Maite.

As I thought, she’d been watching me. It was the only reason she would know I was here at this time, or that I would be with the twins.

“They good. I see them. They good children.”

Her words made me feel even more defensive as she looked at them as we got to the crossing. I could see love in her eyes, but that didn’t take away the fact that she left them. She dumped them in the middle of the hallway and ran. She left a note with Rick’s apartment number, and said he should take them.

Maite was standing in front of me. The one who had her heart broken by Rick, but why was she back now? Did she come back for the twins? Or even worse, my husband-to-be?

As we crossed the street and we entered the gated playground, I knew the twins couldn’t get lost, and they would run to the castle, the same one they did whenever we went to the park. She naturally walked toward it, which confirmed what I’d already suspected—she’d been following us for a while.

“So?” I asked crossing my arms, waiting impatiently to her to speak. I knew what she was going to say. My shirt was light and I had shorts on, but all of a sudden I felt hot, as if I was in the middle of a heatwave. As the twins settled on the slide, I knew it wouldn’t be long before one of them got bored. She had to talk fast before one of them had a fall or got bored.

“I think I want my kids. But I’m not sure how to do it…” She paused which gave me a little bit of relief. She didn’t have a plan, and for some reason, it gave me some relief. It meant that she would probably change her mind or leave?

Fuck!

What was I thinking?

I was being harsh, so I remained silent and nodded, waiting for her to continue. The idea of her being here, wanting to speak to me, and not Rick, was a dead giveaway. She wanted to talk about the kids, and most likely felt that seeing as I was a woman, I was the right person to talk to first.

“I don’t suppose you could think of a way to talk to Rick for me.”

“Me?” I pointed at myself. “Why would I help someone who had abandoned their own children and left a note? Why would I talk to them about her being a good candidate to get back her kids back. What will you do once you get bored again? Dump them?”

I didn’t wait for a response as I noticed Rachel wandering off, indicating as I had suspected she would do. She was bored. I turned to see if she followed, but she didn’t.

Good!

I sighed as I took a deep breath, thinking I’d got rid of her already. I felt guilty about it, but she posed as a threat. In a few weeks I would be Mrs. Rick Steele, and nothing was going to stand in the way. We had kids together and she was coming back into their lives and killing it. I couldn’t let her do that. I wouldn’t.

“Where should we go now?” I chirped as I grabbed both Rachel and Steven’s hand.

“Where’s your friend?” Rachel asked as she tugged on my hand. My head spun around, looking for her, hoping she wouldn’t be in sight. That’s when, a familiar scent tickled my nose, and I knew who was behind me.

“Daddy!” Rachel screamed. She was a daddy’s girl and he treated her like a little princess. I told him one too many times he should treat them the same.

“You look as if you’ve seen a ghost. You okay?”

Steven said, “Mommy lost her friend.”

Before I had time to answer, Rick gave me a puzzled look, wondering if I was going to fill in the blanks.

“The twins are sleeping. I thought you were up with them.”

He gave me a quizzed look, as if he was shocked as I closed up and became all defensive. Then he smiled at me, the one he’d done a little too often lately, which said hormones. I hated when he did that, even if he was probably right. The twins are only a few weeks old, they’d all told me to take it easy. But, going to the park and showing Rachel and Steven they were still our kids, even if there were babies in the penthouse, we didn’t want them to get jealous.

“Melanie and Carly are sleeping, and Auntie Elizabeth is up there with them. Okay?” He bend down just about to give me a kiss, but then Rachel jumped into his arms, and Steven decided we should be on our way—something I’d planned to do before Rick showed up.

“Let’s go to the swings!”

Everyone’s attention changed to the swings, which was fine. I had one eye on the twins while Rick was searching for who Steven had called as my friend. She was far from my friend—more like their mom, the real one. I was a mother, and I knew for another to leave their kids the way she did it must have been for a reason.

I shouldn’t have been harsh. I should have given her a chance to explain, instead of throwing daggers at her.

Fuck!

I was never like this, never the bitch and being a mother and soon-to-be wife should have made me feel more secure than I’d ever felt in my life.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Rick said as he stood on one side and noticed Steven was yelling to be pushed—he’d got more demanding as he got older.

I didn’t answer him, instead I pushed Steven and I knew he would be happy for a few seconds until he demanded he went higher than his sister.

I really hoped I’d see Maite again. I needed to tell her I was sorry and listen to what she had to say. I was their mother at heart, and on paper, I’d adopted them. The idea of losing them turned me into an ugly monster. I could never do that. We all make mistakes in life, some of us pay dearly for them, whereas others don’t even pay the price.

###The End###

FOREWORD

Loved by Three is a 9 book collection Series are by Poppy Flynn , Evie Rae , Crimson Syn, Sarwah Creed, Karine Saint Jacques & Debbie Hope.

A collection of standalone novels in Contemporary Romance | Romantic Suspense | Cowboy | Romantic Comedy | College | High School | MC | SEALs | Bully | Neighbors and Sports Romance genres!

There is something for every reader in this amazing reverse harem series.Loved by Three is a 9 book collection series by Poppy Flynn, Evie Rae, Crimson Syn, Sarwah Creed, Karine Saint Jacques & Debbie Hope.

Smokin' Cowboys

Buy now! - getbook.at/smokin_cowboys

Bad Neighbors

Buy now!  - books2read.com/BadNeighbors

Triple Puck Players

Buy now!  - books2read.com/u/mvnEyX

Tangled Web

Buy now!  - amazon.com/gp/product/B08TP962K7

Sexy SEALs

Buy now! - geni.us/3Wxor

Beasty Bullies

Buy now!  - books2read.com/BeastlyBullies

Wicked Stepbrothers

Buy now!  - books2read.com/u/mBoYLk

Nanny for the SEALs

Buy now! - My Book

Stranded with the Storm Chasers

Buy now! - My Book

ABOUT SARWAH CREED

Sarwah Creed is the author of The FlirtChat series. When she's not writing, then she's running, reading and listening to music. She lives with her three children in Madrid.

Learn more about Sarwah by connecting with her on social media:

Newsletter ---- http://eepurl.com/g0cLoH

ABOUT WIFE TO THE SEALS

Do you want to read more about the triplets and the missing birth mother of the twins, Maite. Then, stay tuned and read my new release, Wife to the Seals. Coming out in September 2022!

Wife to the Seals

I decided I was going to show them a way. I had to get my babies back, and they came up with a plan. Something Rick had arranged. I was to be married to a SEAL.

Carl had been claimed as too unstable to have joint custody of his son. He needed a wife to help his custody battle.

Donte wanted out of the marines. A wife and kid would be the perfect option to find a way out.

Steve didn’t want to be alone.

I had three hot SEALs with their sexy eyes and body, and they all wanted the same thing.

Me.

I didn’t know which one to choose?

Katie told me, why should I choose one when I could probably have all three.

CHAPTER 1

Maite

TODAY WAS THE DAY. I had to brave and face the music. I knew I was meeting my lawyer, the one in which was charging me by the hour. I had to get there on time for the meeting with Rick. My heart was beating out of control as I adjusted my black pencil skirt and blazer. They were too tight, I didn’t possess a suit, and luckily, Lourdes lent it to me. If things did go to court, then most likely I would have to wear it every day. Then again, if it did go to court, I would need to sell a kidney to pay for my lawyer.

I ran up to the door, thinking about my babies. Seeing the glow in their eye every day and knowing I had to be a part of their lives. I’d left them once, I couldn’t do it again. I knew they were loved and had money, a lot more than I had to offer them, but the one thing I had that there was no price to put to it, and that was love.

“Ms. Maite Rodriguez to see Harvard Pickles,” I said to the receptionist.

“They’re expecting you,” the petite blond receptionist said as her eyes lit up. Before I had a chance to reply and ask what she meant by them, she stood and told her colleagues to cover her.

I watched her, frozen and unable to move, as she moved to the side. She pressed a door, and we were both on the other side of the receptionist’s desk. I felt so intimated standing next to her. She towered over me, with her tall, slender figure. I’d never worried about my size. Thinking compared to most of the women, I was an average size, with my hour-glass figure. But, here in the lawyer’s office, with women who most likely got by on what I ate for breakfast all week long, I felt out of place.

From my cheap perfume to my high-heels, which only made me a couple of inches taller. She had stilettos and as she smiled at me, the same smile she seemed to give everyone that passed her by. I wondered what she thought of me. Back home, in Mexico, I wouldn’t care. I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of me, but there was something about being in L.A. that brought about this type of insecurity. Lara, my best friend and savior in this big mess, said this was the issue with being a foreigner, you felt as if everyone was looking and laughing at you, when deep down, there was nothing of a sort going on. It was all in our heads.

“Right, follow me, and I’ll lead the way.” She didn’t wait for me to reply, and I followed her like a lamb being led to be slaughtered. I’d lost my kids once, there was no option to do it again. If I did, my heart would sink and I would die of natural causes.

“Everyone makes mistakes, cariño. Doesn’t mean they have to spend the rest of their lives suffering for them.”

Lara’s words were ringing through my ears as we approached the elevator. The pretty blond receptionist smiled, but this time, I was too nervous to return it. Tapping her heels, out of patience, as no more did I look at her. I couldn’t be bothered with fake pretenses, not right now.

I looked down at the floor, I couldn’t see my reflection on the pale tiled floors, but I knew if I could, I would see the tears which were about to fall.

“In we go!” she commanded, and I could tell she was going to say something to break the ice, but I felt defeated as she stuck her arm out and pressed the button to what seemed to be the top floor.

Mierda!

My vertigo was sure to kick in, as if I wasn’t nervous enough as it was.

“We’ll be there soon. This is the private elevator.”

I stuttered, “It’s so high up.”

Her face changed from being stone-cold to warm, as if she could see the fear in my eyes and no more did she have to give me the fake smile she offered everyone as she wrapped her arm around me and whispered, “Don’t think of going up, just straight.”

I looked up at her, with the tears in which I was holding back for so long, were flowing freely.

“I used to suffer, too. It helps. Just close your eyes and think about it.”

I did as she said, and I took a deep breath, and she was right. The higher we went, the more I felt as if we were going forward, not above.

I giggled like a child as the doors chimed and I opened my eyes. “It worked!”

She held my hand, her fingers long and slender, but warm. Whereas mine were just sweaty from being here, to going up to not the top floor, the floor on the other side of the city.

As I stepped out, Rick was standing, smiling, with his arms crossed. The reason I fell in love with him and I didn’t know who I hated more. Me for being swarmed in by his big grin, emerald eyes, and dark hair, or just him. He was someone else’s, not mine. I couldn’t think of him in that way, even if I wanted to.

“Well. Seems everything is all done.”

He brushed past me, then headed into the elevator. The one I’d just stepped out of, with the help of the receptionist. I spun around, but it was too late. The doors were closing, and I was left breathless. It was then that I didn’t need to be told where my lawyer was. I could see her through the glass door.

“Oh good, you made it!” Her dark eyes spun around to me, then her hair flicked and lingered just facing me that little bit longer. She was Lara’s lawyer, good, but I never liked her. Lara told me one thing, never trust a lawyer; they’re worse than the police.

“You told me twelve.”

She nodded. “Yes, and you should have been earlier. Before twelve, if it was important to you, then you would have done it. I expected you to be the first one at the door,” she scolded her dark eyes cut at me. The way she looked at me, I wondered if it was a good idea for her to represent me, because she should have told me to get here earlier, but she didn’t.

“Sorry, I should have told you that they were all here. They’d been here for a while,” the receptionist I came up in the elevator muttered next to me.

A foreigner. Once again, this was how I was being treated. Rules in which everyone knew apart from me.

“So, what now?” I shrugged, not having the strength to argue as I laid my empty purse on to the table. Lara said I should carry it. It made me seem important, even if all it did possess were her house keys and my phone.

“We’ll talk after the wedding,” my lawyer said, as she shot up and adjusted her red suit. She moved the chair she was sitting on away from her, as if it annoyed her, the same way my late appearance had done.

“Wedding?”

“Lara did say you were slow, but I didn’t expect you to be this slow…”

Once again, she cut her eyes at me. If she was anyone else, if I didn’t need her so badly, then I would tell her where to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine. But Lara said she was good. Real good, and I needed her, not only because her of expertise, but because she was free for the first meeting, a favor for my friend. Going to court, I would have to pay.

“Your wedding. You know the one to the SEAL. When you’ve done with that, then we can rule some schedule. Until then, four weeks and two days, you’ll hear from me.”

I felt as if she was talking another language. I didn’t understand a word which had come out of her mouth.

Wedding?

Who said anything about a wedding?

“You look as if you need something stronger than coffee. Wait here, I’ll get you something,” the receptionist said.

She had no idea; I did need something stronger, because apparently, I was about to get married.

But there was just one problem.

I didn’t have a boyfriend.

Let alone a fiancé.

AFTERWORD

Hi,

If it’s too much for you to wait till September 2022, to read Wife to the SEALs. Then check out, Sexy SEALs. It’s out now, and free with KU.

Read more, for your sneak preview :)

Happy reading.

ABOUT SEXY SEALS….

I graduated from college with no job lined up nor prospects. We had to go into quarantine. The cases were rising once again with the new variant, and the vaccines were not helping at all.

Could it get any worse?

It did.

Two hot, sexy SEALs turned up at my door. Two of them I’d been writing to for the last few months, and the other one…let’s just say that he turned up for the ride.

What ride?

Me.

Adonis loves to make me wet.

David wants to strip me and put me into submission.

Chaz sets my insides on fire every time he opens his dirty mouth.

This was too much to handle. I didn’t expect to see Adonis or Chaz, and now I have all three of them banging on my door asking me to choose.

Why choose one…when I could have all three?

Author’s Note:

Sexy SEALs include spanking and intense sexual scenes. If you love reading such material, then buy this book!

PROLOGUE

Kiara

“ONE AT A TIME…”

I wanted them to slow down. Both Adonis and Chaz put their hands on the back of my bra, ready to snap it off. Adonis, with his deep blue eyes and dirty blonde hair, had nothing but lust in his eyes. I couldn’t believe they were both in my bed, by my side, ready to get down and dirty. Chaz’s dark eyes glowed as he moved toward me. I’d been writing to them for months, and here they were, ready to fulfil their promise to take me.

I turned as my bra dropped, and I stood half-naked in front of them. The boys’ hands dropped, and they felt their cocks.

“Kinky Kiara, you’ve been writing to us for so long, promising us all the nasty things we can do to you.”

“Your breasts are just the right size; they could fit in the palms of our hands!” Chaz blurted out, and no longer did I feel self-conscious about my body as I had so many times before. He was so athletic; they both were. With their perfect abs on full display, they both clearly had six-packs. They made me feel sexy, something I didn’t even think was possible with my wide hips, ample breasts, and saggy stomach. My exercise comprised of going to classes, sitting down all day studying, or, on the rare occasion, going out with my roommate, Lucy. The temptation to tell them to get out of my dorm room washed away as I could see lust in their eyes. I was in my final year. No one really cared what the seniors got up to; it was too late for that. Everyone was making plans for the future, and Stanford was getting ready to greet the next set of students. Finally, it was time to lose my virginity, something I had planned on doing before the start of college. Now it was the end, and I was finally getting around to doing the deed.

Chaz spoke so calmly as he walked up to me, growling. “You’ve done this before, right?”

I shook my head because I couldn’t speak. This was what I wanted, but it was one thing wanting something and it actually happening. I hadn’t been with one guy before, let alone two. I said I wanted them to do things to me, nasty things, just because it was easy by email. But in real life, it was a totally different story. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down and just appreciate the moment.

This was real. I had to push my fear away and let them take me, as I’d told them to do so many times in writing. But they were strangers. They didn’t even know each other, but they were moving around the room so naturally, as if they were cavemen ready to take me.

Chaz was on his knees, pulling down my skirt and saying, “I’ve been wanting to do this for such a long time.” Then, he slowly stroked my leg with one hand, and I closed my eyes as his hands moved to my pink panties, the silk ones I bought with Lucy. She told me this day would come; my sexy SEALs would turn up at my door, ready to take me. I laughed and bought them thinking I would lose it one day, but not to the guys I had been writing to.

He struggled to get them down. I had a big ass; all my fat was in that one area of my body. I spent a little too much time sitting down and not enough exercising. I was always self-conscious about it, covering it up, thinking no one wants to see my fat ass, then Adonis pinched it from behind, and I knew he liked it.

The panties were stuck up my ass, and he struggled to get them down.

Chaz kissed my stomach lightly and ripped them apart, solving the problem. As I stood naked between the two men, I felt light-headed. I knew Lucy was busy; she had three boyfriends, and I envied her like crazy, not only for having a man at her beck and call, but all three. Therefore, I started emailing Adonis, Chaz, and Mateo. I thought I could be brave. I was being fearless at my keyboard, but in person it was a completely different matter.

It was as if they became lost in my body, as Chaz gently stroked my breasts and traced a finger around them. He made his way up to the top of my body, then he lifted me up. I laughed as he held me in his arms, half naked, and gently placed me on my table as if I were a treasure he had just found.

I opened my eyes to find Adonis was stroking my hair as I sprawled on the table.

“I’ve never—” I confessed as it was all getting to be too much. I was getting lost in their touch, and I was moaning. It was during the day; for sure everyone was in class, just as I should be when I heard the knock at the door, and Adonis opened it.

“Good, he’s here!” Adonis growled. I wanted to say something in protest, but I was too late.

Mateo had arrived. I was frightened as I jumped up from the table, screaming.

“No, not all three!”

It was then that I realized I was in bed alone. No one was with me, and I was having a dream. I heard a giggle. Lucy was standing by my bed. Her dark eyes glowed as she twisted her long strands into a bun, the same thing she did whenever she was going out for a jog, which she routinely did every morning.

“Damn, that was one hot dream. Kiara, you were purring, and moaning like a possessed woman. I was getting ready to get out of here ‘cause I thought the next thing you would do was start masturbating. I didn’t want to see that. We’re close, but hey, not that close!”

She turned to walk away as I slumped on the bed. Yeah, I was kidding myself. I hadn’t even written to the SEALs. I didn’t know what they looked like, yet here I was in bed having dreams about them. This was crazy. I was in my final year at Stanford, and I had to graduate. I came here to study, and that was all I’d done ever since I’d arrived. I thought I would do something exciting and new here, but the phrase ‘a leopard can’t change its spots’ reared its ugly head my freshman year, and every single year since I’ve been here.

“Yeah, you go jog. I’m getting the dildo out!”

I screamed with my eyes still closed. I would still fantasize about them. That was all someone like me could do. I’d been called Plain Jane too many times in high school, and I was still true to that name.

I’d get out my dildo, Rambo, and let him get to work. I was so close to the edge before I woke up. I heard the door slam and knew Lucy was out warming up, ready to jog around campus.

I kept him under my pillow, because the most action my pussy had ever seen was on the tip of Rambo. He would take me to the place, that he knew too well.

“Rambo get to it!”

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Foreword

Introduction

About Sarwah Creed

Contents

Nanny for the SEALs

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Epilogue

Foreword

About Sarwah Creed

About Wife to the Seals

Chapter 1

Afterword

About Sexy SEALs….

Prologue