MARI'S MISTAKE

ICEHOME BOOK 11

RUBY DIXON

Copyright © 2020 by Ruby Dixon

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Cover Design: Kati Wilde

Cover Photo: Depositphotos.com

Edits: Aquila Editing

Created with Vellum

CONTENTS

MARI’S MISTAKE

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Epilogue

Epilogue II

Author’s Note

PEOPLE OF ICEHOME

Need More Ruby Dixon?

MARI’S MISTAKE

I’ve ruined everything.

I had a mate. Resonance. Happiness. But then T’chai’s attacked by ravenous sky-claw and almost killed. To help him recover, I tell the healer to turn off our unfulfilled resonance. It's temporary...or so I think.

Big mistake. Because now my khui acts like it’s dead and it hates T’chai. But I still love him. How do we move forward when I can’t bear his touch? Is there a way to get back our happiness together, or is it time to give up on what we once had?

T'chai has other plans, though. He's not giving up on us. If it means crossing the world, he's ready to do it at my side.

1

T'CHAI

T  he waters of the cove seem unusually warm this day. Warm…and empty.

That part is not so unusual. What was once populated with colorful corals and teeming schools of fish is now a nearly empty pool of water. I blame the Great Smoking Mountain. Not that it has anything to do with fish, but it is easy to blame for all the ills of my tribe. The weather is too hot? I blame the Great Smoking Mountain. The game is gone? The mountain. The coral dead? Mountain. The drift of ash in the air that makes it hard to breathe? Mountain. The stink of rotten things in the air? Mountain. The deaths of nearly my entire tribe?

Mountain, mountain, mountain.

I scowl down at the glimmering, clear water that swirls around my legs. On days like today, with a hungry belly and equally hungry friends waiting back at camp? It is hard to be content with life. It is hard to look around me and be grateful that I survived the death of the Great Smoking Mountain many turns of the seasons ago, if all I am going to do is slowly starve to death. There are no fierce warrior games, no provings, no tribal gatherings, no matings, no nothing.

There are four of us, trying desperately to survive on a beach that provides less and less with every season.

A small glimmer of scales catches my eye in the water, and I immediately camouflage, turning my skin the same color as the waves as I clutch my spear. I do not move, but wait instead. Wait for the pitifully small fish to swim in my direction. I barely breathe as it darts about the empty cove, picking at dead coral and taking far too much time before it wanders close enough for me to strike. Whip-fast, I thrust my spear into the water and stab it through its belly.

With a growl of triumph, I lift my triple-pronged spear and study my catch. Barely two mouthfuls, but if I can find more, it will make a decent meal. Or if S'bren manages to find roots in the jungle, then we will make a stew and split four ways.

The only good thing about Tall Horn being utterly decimated is that there are so few mouths to feed. I grimace to myself even as I think such a thing. I would trade a full belly for the return of my father and mother, my uncles, and my younger brother. I would trade that full belly even to see stern R'sash, our scowling, unpleasant chieftain one more time or the sniping, teasing elders who joked that I was too tall and thin to carry a spear if I was shaped like one.

I am no longer that whipcord-thin youth I was…but there is no one to show. I glare at the tiny fish as I pluck it off my spear and hook it on the thick, woven cord around my waist. "Come now," I tell it softly as I ready my spear over the water again. "Bring your friends out to play."

Another fish darts into view soon enough, this one smaller than the last, and I tense, waiting.

"Ho! Brothers!" R'jaal bellows from the shore. "Come and see!"

My ears prick, curiosity getting the better of me. R'jaal is not one to bound around making as much noise as a kaari in heat. That is S'bren. It makes me want to see what has brought such excitement to his voice, but the fish swims closer, tantalizingly close. Just a bit more and I can spear it…

"T'chai!" R'jaal cries. "S'bren! M'tok!"

I clench my jaw and focus. Come nearer, little bite of fish. Come…

From afar, I hear S'bren make a sound of astonishment, and M'tok, too. Their voices do not carry over the calm slap of the water, so I slide back into the hunting trance, ignoring everything but the fish that moves ever closer—

"T'chai!" R'jaal bellows again. "Come and see my female!"

Female?

I have heard him wrong.

Surely.

All the females died six turns of the seasons ago with the rest of the Tall Horn tribe. I have heard wrong. Perhaps he says “long sail” and has caught one of the flying lizards and wishes to share it. Distracted, I twitch—and the fish darts away under the coral.

With a growl of frustration, I turn and wade toward the beach.

My spear is clutched in hand, and I am far enough out in the shallow water that it is not a quick journey back. I can see my three clan-brothers hunched over something in the sand, their heads bent. Are they…eating the long sail without me? Surely not. Scowling harder, I jog toward the shore. "You had better save me at least a mouthful," I call.

R'jaal sits up and turns toward me with an utterly radiant look on his face.

I have never seen my friend look so…happy. So full of joy. Not even when he defeats his rival K'thar in some silly challenge or another have I seen R'jaal's smile as bright as the twin suns. But on this day, he grins as if the oceans have opened their bounty up to him.

"Come and see her," he calls to me.

Her?

I jog a little faster, my feet finally breaking free of the water. I saunter up the beach, noticing that they kneel next to a tan creature of some kind. "What did you catch?"

"I told you. A female. MY female." R'jaal's voice is utterly proud and he gestures at the large form on the sand. "Come and see."

"Did you say a female?" I cannot believe my ears, but when S'bren gives me a wide-eyed look and M'tok cannot stop staring at the thing on the sand, I realize it must be true. I approach…

…and then drop to my knees in shock.

"A female," I murmur, stunned. "W-where did you get it?"

For a long moment, I cannot seem to believe this is true. A female…but she looks like no female I have ever seen before. Her skin is a warm shade of golden brown that does not match anything I am familiar with, and it makes me wonder what she is trying to camouflage to. Her mane is thick and dark, but full of waves and curls. There are no horns, no fur, no extra arms to mark her as one of Strong Arm Clan or Shadow Cat Clan. She has no tail and cannot be of Long Tail clan, but they are all dead.

Her face is small, her features unusual. She has dark brows, but her nose is tiny and she looks fragile all over. Her teats are swollen under the strange, heavy leathers she wears all over her body, and that fills me with disappointment for my friend. I point at them. "She is a nursing mother. She already has a mate."

"I do not think so," R'jaal says excitedly. He takes her small hand in his and pats it. "K'thar took the other one and she had even bigger teats than this one. And he resonated to her!"

"You let K'thar have one of the females?" M'tok is disgusted. "When we do not have mates for ourselves?"

"Did you not hear me when I said he resonated to her?" R'jaal counters irritably. He pats the thing's fingers again. "I cannot bring you home a mate that is resonating to another. I took this one and left the beach."

"How…" I ask, stunned. "How did you find this thing?"

"Look at her hand." S'bren pokes the female with a stick, then uses the end of the stick to lift her fingers. "She has five fingers.”

"And no fangs," R'jaal adds. "I do not think she is Outcast tribe. I do not know what she is."

He looks down at her with an expression of pure joy on his face, and I hate that I feel envy. I should be thrilled for R'jaal. He is a good friend and has tried very hard to lead the remnants of Tall Horn. He goes without food sometimes so the rest of us can eat. He is a good hunter and I am glad that he was with us that day that the world fell apart.

But I am…jealous.

He has found himself a female. He will not be alone. He has a companion. There is no such hope for myself, M'tok and S'bren.

"How did you find her?" S'bren asks. "Were there more?"

"Only two," R'jaal says. "There was a great black egg that washed up on the beach. I made it there the same time K'thar did."

"An egg?" S'bren's eyes are wide. "Since when do mates come out of eggs?"

R'jaal just shrugs, looking down at his prize. "I must resonate to her soon. I do not trust K'thar's hunters to leave us alone. They will try and take her when they see him with a mate and find out that I have one here. And if word spreads to Shadow Cat…"

I grunt. I have a friendly rivalry with U'dron there, but I will say nothing. U'dron is a good hunter, and we sometimes exchange information about quarry…but he is not Tall Horn. Tall Horn's needs must come first. "Your secret is safe."

M'tok rubs his jaw, a strange expression on his face. "No horns. No tail. No fangs. I am going to come out and say it, brother." He glances at R'jaal. "She is rather ugly."

S'bren chuckles and elbows M'tok. "Does it matter? Right now she is the prettiest female on the island."

R'jaal snorts.

Their words irritate me. I look down at the unconscious female, her prominent teats heaving with her even breaths. Her skin is such an odd shade, her face so…delicate. She is made very differently from us, but…I do not find her ugly. There is a beauty in her small features, in the full mouth that is such a deep shade of pink that does not match the rest of her camouflage. There is beauty in the elegant lines of her body and even her small hands and their many fingers.

She might be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, but I will not say this aloud. She is to be R'jaal's mate. I am happy for my friend and clansmate. I am. I am. "You are very lucky," I manage to say, and the words feel thick coming from my mouth. I know S'bren and M'tok must feel the same as I do. That we would give anything to be in R'jaal's place right now, claiming a female.

S'bren leans forward. "How long before she wakes up now that she has hatched?"

R'jaal shrugs. He taps the unconscious female's hand. "Perhaps she is tired."

Or thirsty, I want to point out, because her full lips are dry and cracked and she wears hot layers of leather coverings that look unpleasantly warm. Part of me does not want to help R'jaal win her, though. Let him figure it out. But that is the jealous side of me speaking, and the only one that suffers is the fragile female, who does not deserve such pettiness. "I will get fresh water for her to drink."

My friend gives me a grateful look, and truly, I feel like the worst clansmate ever for being so jealous of him. He would be glad for me if I resonated to a female. I should be glad for him, even as I stalk back to my hut and pull a dipper out of my fresh water bucket. I fill my waterskin and sling it over my shoulder, and take off the cord around my waist that holds my caught fish. That mouthful can wait a little bit longer. R'jaal's catch is far more interesting than mine.

"Hurry," R'jaal calls as I emerge from the hut. He looks over at me, lowering his voice to a hiss. "She is stirring! Quick!"

I trot back to his side and offer the waterskin to him, kneeling down next to the female. M'tok and S'bren have not moved, and I do not blame them. We all wish to see the female open her eyes, to hear her talk. Will she tell us which clan she comes from? Is she from a distant island like the Ancestors were? She has no horns like they did…but she does not have four arms or a tail.

I do not know what she is, other than a mystery.

The female's eyes flutter and she lets out a soft moan. She coughs, then turns on her side, spitting up seawater. She curls up, vomiting, and R'jaal pats her arm awkwardly.

M'tok rubs his chin. "Are you certain it was an egg? She acts as if she has swallowed the ocean."

"It looked like an egg," R'jaal tells us, equally confused. "Perhaps the egg came from a distant shore and water got inside?"

I nudge him. "Give her fresh water when she sits up. At least let her rinse her mouth." She is hunched over on the sand, miserable, and I feel protective of her. There is something about her helplessness that calls to me, that makes me ache to help her. And when R'jaal touches her shoulder and she opens her eyes and looks at him, I feel another bolt of pure envy.

I want her to look at me. Not him.

I clench my hands, willing them to resonate and get it over with. To let him claim her already so my foolish envy can dissipate. Resonance is final. I tell myself this is why my foolish heart leaps when she looks away from R'jaal and over to me. Her eyes are beautiful, blue with a bright, strong khui and yet they have dark brown centers, more colors that are unfamiliar to me but no less fascinating. Her lips part.

My heart throbs at the sight of her. It leaps so hard it feels as if it is jumping out of my chest, and I clutch at the space over my heart painfully. A moment later, my khui settles and then begins to drum a strong, urgent beat.

Resonance.

For me, and not for R'jaal.

I groan, half-wanting to collapse and half-wanting to pull my female out of R'jaal's arms. I stare at her in shock.

She trembles, her eyes wide as she stares at me, and glances around at us. "Whrmi?" she whispers, and her words are nonsense.

But words do not matter. Her khui is beating in time with mine, making beautiful sounds…and I cannot stop staring at her in sheer wonder.

A mate for me. Not for R'jaal or anyone else.

"She is for you." The dull voice at my side is R'jaal, and when I look up at him, his expression is full of barely-hidden pain.

"I did not—" I shake my head. "I did not ask for this. I would not steal her from you—"

My oldest friend puts a hand on my shoulder, full of understanding. "It is resonance that has chosen. I am happy for you. I would rather it be someone in Tall Horn than in Strong Arm if it cannot be me." And he manages a smile.

He is a better male than I am, and I think of my petty jealousy of how he touched the female. MY female. Suddenly my insane jealousy makes sense. My spirit knew before my khui did.

This female is mine.

2

MARI

When I wake up, it's to four strange men looming over me.

If that's not enough to scare a girl out of her mind, they're all naked. And alien, but that part's not so surprising anymore.

I gasp, coughing more saltwater up, and try to scoot back on the sand. I have no idea where I am, or where Lauren is, but I'm alive. After escaping a flaming spaceship and the relentless turbulent waves of the ocean, I'm just grateful that I'm in one piece, though I'll feel better once I see Lauren. I glance around, trying to ignore the men looming in front of me, but I don't see my friend anywhere. "Lauren?" I croak, gazing up and down the unfamiliar beach. "Lo?"

No answer, of course.

I look at the aliens around me. One looks familiar, and I have vague memories of him carrying me and me promptly passing out again. That must be how I ended up here.

Wherever “here” is.

One of the men offers me a waterskin and I take it, wetting my mouth. My lips are cracked and dry and yet I somehow feel as if I drank half the ocean. I glance around me and I'm on a sandy shore, but this one is less pebbly than the one I remember. It's also warm as hell. Really, really warm, and I feel my skin dotting with sweat. The soggy, heavy layers of leather I'm wearing aren't helping things, either.

One of the men says something, and when I glance over, they're not talking to me. I gaze at their faces, trying to recall if they're people I've seen before, but I don't recognize them. They're a paler blue than I remember, and their horns look funny. Instead of curling like a ram's horns, these stick straight up, almost like an antelope that's been electrocuted. They're ridiculously prominent, and I try not to stare as I sip more water.

These are strangers, then. That makes me uneasy. I don't think they speak English—or Spanish—because they're looking at me as if I've grown a second head. Have they…never seen a human before? Oh god, what am I going to do if I'm stranded somewhere alone with aliens that I can't talk to? The thought makes me want to break out in hives.

I look at the one that handed me water. "Where am I?"

He watches me with fascination, tilting his head as if I'm some weird zoo creature. He seems nice enough, I guess, but I'm still unnerved that I'm stuck here alone with him. I glance over at the next one—and my cootie starts up.

Oh no.

Oh, no no no. This is bad. This is really bad.

The khui—the parasite they gave all of us—is some sort of creature that lives in our chests and helps us stay healthy. According to what the aliens that rescued us shared, it filters the air, makes the body work optimally, and ensures the propagation of the species. I didn't resonate the moment I got my cootie, unlike Veronica, and there were only three unmated aliens on the shore, so I thought I'd dodged that bullet. I don't want a mate—I can't even take care of myself right now, so adding another person to the mix is just something I don't need.

Apparently my khui has decided things for me, though. Because it starts purring harder, and I stare at the second alien in shock as my chest rumbles with what must be resonance. He's rumbling too, this stranger, and I think this has just complicated things a dozen-fold.

At least my new mate is…handsome?

Or as handsome as an alien could be, I suppose. I'm still not used to the whole “tall and looming” thing. Or the horns. Or the tail. This one has incredibly long, black hair that has bits of shell woven into the occasional decorative braid. His horns skyscrape up from a proud forehead and his eyes are piercing. His nose is aquiline and his jaw is as cutting and sharp as any telenovela actor. His mouth is a little harder than I'd like and his expression is…brooding. Beautiful, yes, but not friendly.

Somehow, this is disappointing. I'd rather he be friendly and cuddly. I need a friend right now.

I cringe back when he reaches for me, glancing around the beach. "L-Lauren? Lo? Are you out there?"

There's no response. One of the other males makes a disgusted sound in his throat, spits some words, and then gets to his feet, walking away. The other three still hover near me, including my new unsmiling mate. He watches me for a moment longer, and then offers me a hand.

I don't take it. "Lauren?" I cry out. The need to run and hide is overwhelming, but I don't see anywhere to go. I'm…alone. That's terrifying.

Not really alone, though. I now have a resonance mate. Even more terrifying.

The alien I resonated to grunts something under his breath. He gets to his feet, and when I skitter backward on my hands, he slides his arms under me and picks me up, bridal style, and begins to carry me down the beach. Er…okay. The urge to run away hits me again, but where would I go? I look at my surroundings but there's nothing familiar. For the first time, I realize I'm not anywhere near the beach that my friends were at.

I don't know where I am.

Beyond the stretch of beach, I see trees. A great many trees, all of them green and lovely and as tall as any jungle on Earth. They grow thickly together, and I hear birds and other things calling to each other as they move through the branches. There's brightly colored ferns dotting the ground and flowered vines hanging from branches. On the other side of the beach, the water is a crystalline greenish-blue unlike the dark, bottle-green waters on the shore I remember.

Where the hell am I? And why is it so hot? I tug at the neck of my leathers, because they feel uncomfortably gross and sweaty. Maybe it's a side effect of the khui lighting up for resonance—I'm having a hot flash of some kind.

The man holding me says something under his breath, the words unintelligible. He glances down at me, and his expression is almost…stern. Definitely forbidding.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I don't understand you. And I'm more than a little scared of you."

He says something again and I just shake my head. I hear the frustrated breath he lets out, but he doesn't try to talk to me again. I have no idea if that's good or bad. At least he seems to be strong? He carries me easily through the sand, and as he walks, I notice he's heading up what looks like a long, sloping cliff off the shore. At the top of the rocky cliff, I see what looks like a cluster of huts.

Okay. Shelter is good.

Or is it bad? Is he taking me home because he wants to mate with me? I let out a terrified little squeak and clutch the neck of my wet, gross leathers even tighter against my skin…and try to ignore the hot little pulse of arousal between my thighs. That's not me. That is the cootie.

Real Mari is NOT turned on by a hot, forbidding-looking alien with long, sexy hair and a firm jaw. She knows better.

(Unless she swallowed a ton of saltwater and is somehow hallucinating. That makes sense to me in a weird sort of way. More sense than resonance, anyhow.)

The stranger says something to me in a low voice, and even though I can't understand his words, the timbre of his voice is oddly soothing. He sounds calm. Collected. Easy. As if this resonance humming between us is no big deal. Strangely enough, his confidence eases some of the tension out of me. I relax in his arms, and when he heads toward one of the huts, I look at it with interest. Maybe Lauren's in here?

But when we enter, it's empty. It's stuffy inside, and there's a woven flap over the door that's supposed to provide privacy, I guess. The roof is thatched and blocks out most of the sunlight, but gaps trickle in here and there. Overall, the hut is…small. I like the small, though. Small feels comforting. There's a woven mat on the floor to protect from sand, a “nest” of leaves that must surely be bedding, and a few baskets of belongings. A net is hung on one of the stone walls and there's a large, platter-sized seashell filled with water that must be used for bathing.

My new friend—my mate—sets me down gently on the bedding, murmuring more soft words at me. He continues to speak as I sit up, looking around, and then he moves to my feet and examines one of my leather boots. He says something, then pulls out a skinny, sharp knife and begins to cut the bloated, sodden leather away.

"I might need that," I whisper in protest.

He glances up at me, says something, pointing at my foot, and then goes back to cutting. Okay, then. I bite back my protests, wishing I could be brave like Lauren. What would Lauren do if she were confronted with a stranger she resonated to and who started to cut off her boots? She'd probably make him stop. She'd probably learn his name, teach him a few words of our language, and take control of the situation.

God, I wish I was like Lauren. She's always brave and in control, even when she's scared. In a way, she's a lot like Velma from the Scooby-Doo cartoons I loved as a kid. She always has a plan, and nothing rattles her.

Me, I'm unfortunately less of a Daphne and more of a Shaggy. Everything scares the shit out of me and then I hide.

"So you might not know this," I confess to my mate as he pulls my second boot off and examines my now-wrinkled toes. "But when it comes to the whole 'fight or flight,' I should definitely tell you that I am very much a 'flight' kind of girl. Or rather, I'm a hider."

He glances up at me and says something that sounds like a question.

I shrug at him.

The alien grunts and goes back to cutting, this time working up my sodden leather pant leg. I should probably stop him but…the leather does feel gross and it's so damn hot here. The air is positively sweltering with humidity, which is so bizarre given that I thought this entire planet was nothing but snow.

The guy says something again, glancing up at me as he continues to cut.

"If you're asking if I want to keep my pants on, the answer is yes. But somehow, I don't think that's what you're asking." I notice he keeps cutting higher, revealing more of my leg, and I have to admit that the cooler air feels pretty good. "If you're asking me about Lauren, I'm afraid I can't answer you. I don't know where she is, and I wish I did." I give a wistful look around me. "She's the brave one. I'm the chicken. She's the only one that's really befriended me since I got here. Everyone else just thinks I'm some massive coward because I'm constantly hiding. And maybe, okay, sure, it IS a little cowardly, but it's not because I'm trying to hide from my destiny or anything stupid like that. I'm not an ostrich putting its head in the sand. It's just…" I sigh, leaning back on my hands as he continues to work on my leggings. "I've always felt better in a confined space. I used to be scared of thunderstorms when I was a kid, and I'd get into my closet and hide at the bottom of it, underneath all the hanging clothes. It felt like a little fort, you know? And because it was a tiny fort, I felt safer. Like I could control the world around me as long as it was that small area. I guess coming back here has made me revert, because now all I want to do is hide in small spaces and calm down. It just…helps me think. I know that's weird, but I swear it's just me trying to self-soothe. You understand, right?"

He glances up at me and points his knife at my other leg. "Es sa?"

"Yeah, sure, why not." I shrug. "Good talk. Glad we got this out in the open."

He grunts and moves to my other side, cutting through the meticulous leather stitching on my borrowed clothing. I don't want to think about how many hours of work he's destroying. I'll make it up to whoever gave me these pants. Somehow. Provided I get back.

"So you and I are mates," I murmur, watching as he settles in next to my other leg and decimates my pants with a knife. He could just, you know, ask me to take them off, but maybe he feels this is better? Who can say. "I'm kind of regretting resonance. Not because of you. It's nothing against you. I don't know you. It's just…you're going to want a nice, strong, bold mate and I'm a hider." I glance down his long, lean body and notice the, um, large equipment lying against one thigh. "You, my friend, are clearly not a hider. Though if you are still a grow-er at this point, we might have a problem if you rearrange my insides."

"Eh?" He glances up at me again. "Es sa?"

I shrug again. What does he expect me to say? "It's nothing. I'm just talking about your penis." I put a hand to the side of my mouth as if confiding a secret. "I don't know if you've noticed, but it's huge. Also I think I might be suffering from sunstroke. That's why I'm saying all this stupid stuff, right? Is it possible to get sunstroke from those pinprick suns? It's just…lord, it's hot." I pluck at the heavy collar of my tunic. "No wonder you're naked. It probably feels a lot better."

He grunts as if in agreement and knifes through the last knot on my pants, then tugs on the material like I'm a big baby that can't pull her own pants off. The moment he does, my lower half is exposed to the air and I shiver. Yes, the breeze feels good, but I'm not prepared for how I feel around this stranger, being pantsless.

I'm also not prepared for him to pause and stare at the dark triangle of curls between my thighs. He stops his work completely and I can feel my face heating in a blush. I steal another glance at his enormous equipment, and yeah, he's hairless, his private area as bare as any porn star, and his rather large sac a fascinatingly deep shade of blue. His cock's also swelling, his khui humming urgently, and there's that odd spur thing on top that someone mentioned.

"That's an awful lot to take in," I tell him as our eyes meet. "And that's not me making a pun on your size. Though I probably should, because you are an awful lot."

He rumbles something, his long hair sliding over one shoulder, and then reaches between my legs and gently pets my mound, his fingers stroking lightly.

I suck in a breath, shocked at his bold touch…but I don't pull away. "Um…so you just did that. And I should really tell you no." But my cootie is going a mile a minute. "I know we're media naranjas as my mother would say—two halves of a whole—but can we get to know each other first?" I tap my chest. "My name is Marisol. Me llamo Marisol." I tap again, because that might be too many words for him. "Marisol."

He reaches down and strokes my pussy again. "M'rsl?"

"No, that's not Marisol. I am." A horrified little giggle escapes my throat. "Please, please don't call my pussy Marisol." I tap my chest. "Marisol." I point downstairs. "Pussy. Or concha if you're feeling so inclined, but let's stick to one language for now."

His hot gaze moves over my face again. He reaches forward with his hand and taps me on the chest, right where I did. "M'rsl."

"Close enough." I nod approval, and then reach out hesitantly and tap his chest. "Who are you?"

"T'chai." His voice is all rumbly and deep when he says it, and it makes me quiver. It also makes my Marisol downstairs clench deep inside.

"Oh," I breathe. "Your name is…Shy? Did I say it right?"

"T'chai," he says again, tapping his chest. The way he says it is differently than me, like there's a hard stop right before his name.

I try again, emphasizing the first syllable as best I can. "T'chai?"

A hint of a smile curls his hard mouth, and it takes my breath away. Oh wow. My cootie has surprisingly good taste. He's got a hard, stern expression, but when he smiles down at me…damn. There's something about it that feels like a gift. It's barely a twitch of his mouth, that smile, but there's something in the softening of his eyes and the way he watches me that makes me think he's very pleased indeed, and that makes me hot and achy in ways I've never felt before. This feels different than plain sexual pleasure. It feels…deeper. Far more intense.

I could be in a lot of trouble here.

"Where am I, T'chai?" I try as he pulls out his knife and starts to cut away my tunic. I don't exactly want to sit around naked, but the weather here—wherever I am—is warm and moist and right now my leather feels awful. He's completely naked, and so were his buddies, so maybe whoever these people are just aren't into clothing in the summer?

Is it summer? Oh god, have I been asleep for a long, long time? I think about the pods we arrived here in. At least, I’m pretty sure we were still in the pods. The last thing I remember is holding an unconscious Lauren against me as the waves pounded into us so hard that it was difficult to draw breath. What if Lauren and I somehow activated one of the alien pods and we've slept for a thousand years in some Planet of the Apes-type crap? Or what if I'm the only one left and Lauren died a hundred years ago?

The thought makes me panicky.

It's not helping that T'chai is ignoring me. He's concentrating on cutting the leather, unwrapping me like a package, and I put a hand on his chest to stop him. "Where am I?" I repeat again. "Where is Lauren?"

He reaches out and taps my chest. "M'rsl." Taps his chest. "T'chai."

I let out a sound of irritation, and his gaze flicks back to me. There's amusement there, and I realize for all that this guy is a foot and a half taller than me and corded with muscle, he's also not frightening to me. I'm not scared now that I’m near him. I'm irked that we can't really communicate, and I'm worried about Lauren, but…I'm not really scared. For the first time in weeks, I feel like I can relax. I suppose I have cootie endorphins to thank for that.

He says something as he cuts away my sleeve. It's a short, abrupt syllable, and it could mean any number of things. When I give him a blank look, he peels the leather away from my skin and tosses it aside, and then I'm sitting naked in his hut. Mari and her resonance mate, just chillin', utterly naked. Totally normal. I fight back a hysterical little giggle and have to admit that it does feel better. Cooler.

But if one of his tribesmates sticks their heads in, I might start screaming. I can be naked around this guy—T'chai—since we're resonating and that feels weighty and important. Those other guys? Not happening.

Now that I'm naked, T'chai stares at my boobs for a long, long moment that makes me decidedly uncomfortable. He rubs his mouth, thinking, and I curl an arm over my chest to hide them. He gestures at my tits and then rocks an arm against his chest. "M'rsl?"

Is he asking if I have a baby? I shake my head. "No, no baby." I think of how lean the alien female—Farli—was. I never thought to ask if their women just didn't have boobs. I thought Farli was just flat because she was athletic. But maybe boobs are new to him? I gesture at my small B-cups. "This is just normal."

"Nor-mah," T'chai repeats, and a look of relief crosses his face.

"What about you?" I gesture at everything he's got going on, especially his large equipment down south. "Is all that normal too?"

His brows go up at my question, and he huffs a laugh. "T'chai nor-mah tlaik va niis." I don't know what any of that means, but he looks pleased at the fact that I asked.

"Great," I say softly. I’m not sure what the answer was, but whatever. I chew on my lip, looking around. "What do we do now?" I have no idea how to proceed. What does one do when you resonate to an absolute stranger with whom you don't even have a language in common? I have so many questions and zero answers, and I'm worried about Lauren. She can handle herself, but…this new planet is challenging to anyone, no matter how capable they are.

T'chai reaches for my face, and when I flinch backward, he pulls back, too. We look at each other warily. "M'rsl," he murmurs, and hesitantly reaches for me again.

I let him touch my cheek, and he brushes his fingertips over my face, his expression fascinated. His fingers are light but callused, and I close my eyes, enjoying the sensation. I haven't dated in forever, and my last boyfriend wasn't very touchy-feely. I've forgotten how good it feels to have someone caress you. Maybe it's the cootie affecting me, but…it feels really good and I don't want him to stop.

I shiver as his fingers move down my jaw, caressing. He murmurs my name in that weird, abbreviated way of his, but I like the way it sounds and I don't correct him. He's trying. His hand falls away and I open my eyes—

—only to gasp in shock. He's no longer blue. The pale blue of his skin has changed to a rich golden tan. I reach out to touch him, his eyes bright in his face, and his skin feels the same? It's different only in shade, and when I brush my fingers over his cheek, I realize we're the exact same color. Somehow, his skin tone has changed to match mine.

"Wow," I whisper. "Is this part of resonance? Or is it something else?"

"M'rsl," my new mate says. He taps a finger against my breastbone, where my khui is thrumming hard. Then, he murmurs something and points at my belly. When he gestures at his mouth, I realize he's asking if I'm hungry.

I nod. "Really hungry."

He brushes his fingers over my cheek again, as if he can't stop himself from touching me, and gets to his feet. I see a dead fish hanging from a hook on the wall, a cord strung through one of the gills, and…surely not. I know the tribes eat a lot of food that they catch, but it's still a shock to me every time I see it. I grew up with packaged food and the closest I've ever come to this sort of “realism” is when my mother made beef tongue tacos and would buy a huge, sloppy-looking tongue from the grocery store.

"This is just sushi," I tell myself in a mini-pep talk as T'chai sits down across from me. He crosses his legs and picks up a knife and a woven bowl and begins to gut the fish. He cuts off the head and tosses it into the basket, and as I wrinkle my nose and watch, he carefully cuts a finger-length bit of fresh meat off of the fish and holds it out to me.

Oh boy. Sushi, I remind myself, and take a delicate bite of the pinkish flesh. It's…surprisingly delicious. I must show my astonishment, because he chuckles and slices another tiny bit off, holding it out to me. He watches me closely as I chew, and I eat every piece he gives me, and when he holds out the very last bite, I realize he's taken none for himself. I suspect I've eaten his lunch, and although he'd probably never say so, I feel guilty. I shake my head and gesture that he should eat it.

T'chai eats the bite of beach-sushi quickly, and then reaches into the basket and grabs the fish head, popping it into his mouth. He crunches down, and the sound is loud and wet in the hut.

"Ugh," I say, unable to help myself. "That is horrifying!"

He grimaces and points at his mouth, mumbling something and nodding, as if he's agreeing with me that yes, it tastes terrible. T'chai makes a face and then drinks a swig of water, shuddering.

"You're seriously weird, amigo." I watch him, brows furrowed. Maybe it's another sort of alien custom I don't understand, like you eat the head of the fish to thank it for its service or something weird like that.

My gaze falls back on his big, naked body, and he's so…golden. I reach out and touch his hand, and even though his skin is the same shade as mine, he still only has three fingers and the texture of his skin is that soft, delicious suede sensation. As far as I know, the other aliens don't change colors like this. "Is this because we resonated?" I ask him, tapping his hand. "Are you trying to match me?"

He just watches me with a hooded gaze, and I can tell he doesn't know what I'm saying. There's not a single flicker of recognition on his face.

I pull back, but he grabs my hand before I can and puts my palm to his cheek. Even with a language barrier, the message is clear. He wants me to touch him.

It seems like…a bad idea. Or rather, not a BAD idea, but one that will lead to more than I really want to do right now. I don't know this guy. All I know is his name and that he eats fish heads and doesn't like them and he's turned tan instead of blue. But…I can't seem to help myself. I want to touch him. I want to touch him all over. The khui in my chest is singing so insistently that it's making me ache everywhere, and so when the alien rubs my palm against his cheek, I wonder what it could hurt.

Just a little touching. Just enough to take the edge off.

I trace my fingers over his cheek, following the proud lines of his bones and down to the hard edge of his jaw. When I glide my fingertips over his lips, he shudders, groaning, and I catch my breath. Did I think his face was hard and unforgiving? Like this, he's beautiful and not unfriendly at all. Just strong and proud.

He opens his eyes, and before I can realize what he's doing, T'chai pulls me into his lap.

I let out a squeak of distress as he hauls me against him, my breasts colliding with his warm skin and the heat of his cock prodding against my inner thigh.

"No," I protest, putting my hands on his chest and pushing. "No. Too soon!"

His mouth flattens and his eyes narrow, as if my reaction is confusing. "M'rsl?" He taps his chest, indicating his khui, and reaches for me again.

"I said too soon," I emphasize again, and get to my feet. The hut no longer feels comfortingly small but too small and stifling. I pick up the trashed remnants of my tunic and wrap it around my front, then head for the entrance to the hut and peek out.

The other three alien men immediately turn at the sound of the door covering rustling, open curiosity on their faces.

I shrink back inside, letting the hanging hide me again, and press my back against the cool stonework of the hut's walls. What, are they watching because they want their turn? Do they think this is a gang-bang situation? It's not lost on me that there's a cluster of huts but only four people here—zero of whom are women.

I glance over at T'chai, who continues to watch me with an inscrutable expression.

"Where's Lauren?" I ask again. "What did you do with her?"

3

T'CHAI

M y female is…confusing. She likes my touch, then she does not like it. I pull her into my lap so we can mate, and she tries to run. Does she not realize that she is resonating? She looks around our clan-home with open-mouthed wonder, and perhaps her clan is different than mine. Perhaps they live in trees, as Strong Arm does, or deep in a cave like Shadow Cat.

"Do you not like my touch, M'rsl?" I ask, getting to my feet.

Her gaze immediately goes to my hard, aching cock, and she shakes her head again. She says something in that strange language of hers, all fluid sounds and breathless noises, and then presses a hand to her brow.

I might not understand her words, but I am not a clueless male. It is obvious that she needs more time this day. Perhaps she is still hungry or feels unwell. She put a hand to her brow—is she overheated? I move to her side and press my fingers to her brow as well. Warm, but not overly so. "Do you want more water? Or would you like to bathe? Eat? Tell me, and I will do it for you." I lift her hand to my cheek, unable to resist brushing her small fingers against my jaw again. I cannot get enough of her touch, but there is plenty of time to fulfill resonance. I do not have to rush her…no matter how my cock feels.

She bites her full lip and glances at the entrance again. "HvfooseenLoornn?"

"A walk on the beach?" I ask. "Would that please you? We do not have to go far. I can try to catch more fish." My stomach rumbles at the thought, and the leftover bits were not enough to fill my hungry belly…I did not anticipate having a mate to feed. I do not regret it, though. I would trade all my meals so long as M'rsl is happy and her belly full.

Her gaze flicks down to my stomach and relief crosses her face. She gestures at her mouth and points at me. "Tish-shyyy wannaeet?"

"Come. We will go fishing. Let us see if the waters will give enough so I can provide for my mate." I pull the flap on the front of the hut aside and then step out, offering her my hand.

She hesitates for a moment and then comes after me, still holding the scraps of leather to her teats. Immediately, she steps behind me, letting me shield her from the others.

Nearby, M'tok and S'bren are conveniently mending nets on the shore, a task I know both of them hate. R'jaal is in the distance, toying with his spear, but I can tell his attention is on us. Of course they are lingering. The curiosity has to be eating them alive. I gesture at the female standing behind me. "This is my mate, M'rsl."

M'tok scowls in our direction. "Why is she hiding?"

"This is new to her. Of course she is afraid."

He grunts, glancing over at his brother. "Seems like she is afraid of her shadow, that one. I am glad I did not resonate to her."

Just hearing him say that fills me with rage. I take a menacing step toward him. "Do not talk about my mate. Do not even look at her."

M'tok shrugs. "I am just saying—"

"He is bitter," R'jaal says, moving toward the brothers. He reaches out and slaps M'tok on the back of his skull. "He is disappointed. We all are, but there is only one of her…cowardly or not. Someone was bound to get hurt."

M'tok scowls and rubs the back of his head, but he does not disagree with R'jaal. He seems surlier than usual, and R'jaal is right. No matter how he feels about M'rsl, he is disappointed. They all must be.

"You were not in the hut for long." S'bren glances over at us. "Are you taking her away? For mating?"

I know my clansmates are curious, but the nosy questions irk me. My cock is rigid from the constant thrum of my khui, so it should be obvious that we have not mated yet. Even if we have not, what does it matter? It is between her and I, and she is frightened and uneasy. Why would I force her to the ground and mate her when she is not eager for my touch yet? There is plenty of time in the day.

Perhaps her people only mate by night, or by the light of the full moon. I do not know and I cannot ask, and yet…it is not their business. It is mine. It is M'rsl's. It is not M'tok's or S'bren's or R'jaal's. I understand that they wish to know—the fate of our clan's continued existence lies in our hands—but surely they can give us more than a brief moment in a hut before we are on each other like slavering sky-claw. I give them a dismissive look and turn to my mate. "We are going fishing. M'rsl ate what I caught but it is not enough."

"You caught something?" S'bren's tone is mournful, and when I look back, he is rubbing his stomach. "But you are right, feed your female first. She is the most important."

R'jaal comes up to us and M'rsl slinks behind me again, clutching at my arm with a small hand as he approaches. "Your spear," my friend says, holding it out to me. "You dropped it earlier."

"My thanks." I take it and wait for him to back away before I turn to my female again, and put a firm hand on the small of her back.

"Serrybuddy nekkd?" she whispers to me. "Allatime?"

"Yes, fishing," I say to her. "For food." I would make the food gesture, but my hands are full, so I just nod.

She nods, too, and considers the leather scrap she holds in her hands. She has been clutching it to her front, but with a big sigh, she tosses it back down in front of my hut. "Wennin Roahm."

MARI

So this must be what it's like to live on a nudist beach, I think to myself as I sit on the shore and watch T'chai spearfish. There's a lot of breezes, the potential for heinous sunburns, and sand every-freaking-where it shouldn't be.

At least the view is nice.

I wrap my arms around my knees and watch as T'chai remains perfectly still in the hip-deep water. It was a little startling when he waded in and shifted colors to match the rippling waves. I made a terrified croaking sound that made him race back to the shore, and it took a few minutes for him to calm down again before he headed back out. I'm learning all kinds of things out here on Nude Sushi Beach. I'm learning that these people are buck naked all the damn time, probably because of the heat and humidity. It makes sense, I suppose. Why put on heavy leather if you're just wading out into the waters? I learn that T'chai changes colors like a chameleon and camouflages to his surroundings—or to his mate, which makes me blush with an odd sort of pleasure. And I learn that T'chai has these impressive little dimples just above his rounded backside, which are pretty fascinating to stare at.

I also learned that if it comes down to me or his people, T'chai chooses me. That's pretty heady stuff, considering we barely know each other. Even so, I saw how he confronted them earlier. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but the tones and facial expressions were obvious. His friends were acting like sullen jerks and T'chai put them all in their places and defended me.

My khui has chosen wisely. Not only is my guy an absolute smoke show, but he's got a protective streak. I'm so grateful for that protectiveness, because I'm absolutely terrified of this situation. I don't know where I am, I can't speak the language, and Lauren is missing. I'm not the decisive, leader-y sort. I'm more of a cowering sidekick. I wish I was more brave like Lauren, but it's just easier when someone else is in control. T'chai glances back at me on the beach and I wave absently.

Much easier when the one in control has cute butt dimples.

He's not much of a fisherman, though. We've been out here for a few hours and he hasn't caught anything. I waded on the shore earlier—the waters are crystal clear and surprisingly warm, which worries me. This is supposed to be an ice planet, not an island paradise. Either I've left the planet or something's really wrong here.

I suspect it has something to do with the constant plume of smoke on the horizon, or the fact that the warm water looks kind of like a circular bay. I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure I've read enough books and watched enough nature shows to suspect there's some sort of volcanic activity going on here.

I wonder if T'chai and his people realize that. Did all the others leave ahead of them and T'chai and his friends are the only ones left behind? They're just handling some business before they get the hell out of Dodge? Except…no one seems to be in a hurry. I've been watching T'chai spearfish for hours and the man is incredibly patient. He barely moves a muscle, even when my cootie starts to sing so loudly that it's making me squirm on the sand.

That's another problem. I'm getting so many problems that they're all running together in my head. With a stick, I start to write in the fine-grained sand. Problem One—resonance. I scratch out “resonance” promptly and replace it with “volcano.” Priorities, Marisol, I chide myself. Remember all the history books you read about Pompeii and Herculaneum? Smoking volcano takes priority over whether or not you have to sleep with a hot guy and make a baby with him.

Problem Two—Lauren. I don't know where she's at. There's no one else on the beach and earlier, when I headed toward the trees, calling her name, T'chai herded me back toward the beach. I've got to find her.

Problem Three—Home. This one feels less “clear” than others. A volcano has an easy solution—get the heck away from it. Lauren has an easy solution—go find her. Home? I don't know where “home” is anymore. Do I mean the icy beach the other tribe was on? The spaceship we were smuggled here on? Earth? Somewhere else in this terrifying universe?

I have no answers, so I cross it out and replace it with “resonance.”

Problem Four—Language. I need to learn how to speak to T'chai. I need to somehow communicate to him that there's a volcano in the very near vicinity and we need to leave pronto. I need to tell him that I'm from Earth. I need to tell him…that I want to be his friend. I make a flustered noise in my throat and rub out the word “resonance” with my foot. Just writing it out makes me feel like a big doofus. I'm a grown woman. Surely I can navigate some casual sex with a hot tropical alien man? We can kick it Blue Lagoon style. Those movies were hot.

Wait. Didn't they die once they had a kid? And if we have sex, there will be a kid.

I mentally scratch Blue Lagoon off of my list of things to compare my situation to. Tarzan. Tarzan is better. I'll go with that. George of the Jungle works, too.

T'chai moves in the water, stabbing hard. I jump to my feet as he surges forward and makes a sound of success.

"Did you get something?" I call, wiping sand off my ass. (Literally. Sand is absolutely everywhere.)

He holds up his spear in triumph, and it's another fish, no bigger than my hand. It might even be smaller than the one I had earlier. He bounds back to shore with his catch—if you can call it that—and says something excited to me. As he does, I can't help but notice that T'chai's incredibly lean. He's gorgeous, his shoulders broad, but I notice when he moves that I can see all of his ribs. That's…concerning.

The waters are empty, except for this one lone, dumbass fish. Then again, of course they are. My cousin had a saltwater aquarium, and I remember it got too warm one day because she lost power in the summer. The tank got a few degrees too hot and all the fish went belly up.

My stomach clenches nervously and I look at the plume of smoke on the horizon. Heat. The water’s heating…and smoke on the horizon. “Oh boy," I whisper. "Ohhhh boy."

"Nih?" T'chai asks me, cutting the head off of the tiny fish and slicing it open. "M'rsl nih?" He gestures at his mouth, indicating eating.

Do I want to eat? No.

Right now? I very much want to hide. This island is tropical, but aren’t most tropical islands built from volcanic activity? Something tells me that we are in a lot of danger.

4

T'CHAI

M y mate does not eat the fish I bring back to her. She encourages me to eat it, and when I will not without giving her a few tidbits, she takes them reluctantly and only nibbles, then hands the rest back to me. Her gaze strays to the sky, and she watches the smoke that rises from the Great Smoking Mountain's corpse. It worries her.

"It always smokes and makes angry noises," I reassure her. "It will not help things by not eating."

She just gives me another worried smile and points at it.

"I know. It cannot be solved this day. It will smoke until it stops." I shrug and offer her another tidbit of food. "We must be strong for when it shakes the world again. Me, you, and our daughter-to-be." Just the thought fills me with joy. M'rsl's strange appearance here is a gift to my struggling clan, and I will not worry over things I cannot fix.

I can worry over my mate and nothing more.

After there is no more fish, I gesture that I will head out into the water again. M'rsl shakes her head and tugs on my hand, leading me toward the trees. I let her pull me forward, but I stop her before she goes deeper into the jungle. "You do not want to go there," I promise her. "There are things that bite, and dangerous kaari that can tear you limb from limb. It is safe here on the shore." I reach out to stroke her cheek when she ignores me. "This shore is Tall Horn territory. The trees belong to Strong Arm. Do you understand?"

"Looooooorrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenn," she howls, cupping a hand to her face. "Yaaaryuuuuliiiive?"

I wince at the sounds she is making. She will call everything in the jungle down upon us. I gently pull her away from the trees. "Come, my mate. It will be dark soon. We should return to shelter." Just the thought of that makes my cock throb with anticipation, and it rises at the thought of her touching me, stiff and erect within a breath's time. My khui drums louder in my chest, urging and insistent. It wants me to join, to bring new life to Tall Horn.

But M'rsl whimpers and grabs my hand, her eyes wild and searching. "T'chai," she breathes. "MfrndLoorn s'missng. Hafto finder." She squeezes my fingers. "Pls. S'importnt."

"I cannot understand you, my mate," I say gently. "Are you hungry? Perhaps the others have brought back more food. If not, we will sleep and hope for better hunting tomorrow. Come." I gesture at the jungle. "The kaari come out at night. It is safest to avoid them. Come."

Her eyes leak with tears and she swipes at them angrily, muttering something under her breath.

I hate this. I hate that I have made her cry. So I point at the trees. "T'chai will bring M'rsl back here tomorrow." I point at the sky, and then make a gesture of the suns going down over the horizon, then point where they will appear in the morning. "Tomorrow."

She gets excited. "M'rsl T'chai tmoro?" She garbles my words, but I understand it well enough when she points at the trees. "Tmoro?"

I nod.

M'rsl lets out a heaving breath and flings her arms around me in a hug, babbling excited words. Her bouncy teats press against my chest, and her warm belly pushes against my cock, and I groan.

I am no longer thinking of kaari or the jungle. I am thinking of my mate, and resonance.

And when she pulls back and looks up at me with soft, hungry eyes, I suspect I am not the only one thinking such things.

I want her with such ferocious hunger that it steals my breath away. I consider our surroundings—too close to the jungle. First and foremost, I must keep my mate safe. I glance back at the nearby beach, but we will be open for anyone to look at, and my clansmates are far too curious about my M'rsl right now. I do not want to take her in front of their prying eyes. Our first time—my first time—should be in private.

So I grab M'rsl's hand and lead her away from the trees, heading back toward the huts that my clan brothers and I have claimed ever since the death of the Great Smoking Mountain. My hut is private, and no one will bother us there…I hope.

It seems to take forever to walk back to the hut, but M'rsl is silent, and I am filled with determination, my steps quick. S'bren sees us as we approach the huts, takes one look at my face, and immediately heads in the other direction. Good.

Once we are inside my hut and alone, I grab M'rsl and press her warm body against mine again. It felt so good earlier that I crave the sensation again. She sucks in a sharp breath, her hands moving over me. I hold still, fascinated by her softness. My mate is small against me, her head barely reaching my pectorals, but she feels perfect in my arms. Her hands move up and down on my skin, tracing muscles, and she clucks under her tongue when she feels my ribs.

I burn with shame at that. I know I am lean—we all are. Food is increasingly hard to come by. I hope she does not hate the sight of my body.

She looks up at me, her eyes hot, and scrapes the tips of her teats against my chest deliberately.

I groan and nearly lose control. That is it. Time to claim my mate and fulfill resonance.

I get on my knees and pull M'rsl down with me. She follows, but when I push her onto her back, a little furrow of concern crosses her face. I rub my knuckles against her cheek to comfort her. "It is my first time as well," I say. "It will be good. I hope."

She smiles at me, leaning into my touch.

I push her thighs apart and my cock is so stiff and aching I feel as if I will burst if I do not get inside her soon.

"T'chai—"

I push the head of my cock against her folds, groaning at how good it feels. Now to just sink inside her—

M'rsl puts a hand against my chest and pushes hard. "No."

MARI

What the hell?

T'chai has clearly not heard of the word “foreplay.” We were rubbing up against each other and it felt so, so good. I kept waiting for him to lean down and kiss me, and I thought when he moved to the floor of the hut, we were going to get down and dirty into a nice, steamy, makeout session. I know resonance means sex, but I also assumed we'd move into things slowly.

Instead, he apparently just wants me to lie down and spread my legs.

And I have a real problem with that.

Maybe it's due to how unsettled I've felt all day. This is a strange place, and I've resonated to a complete stranger. I can tell his tribesmates don't like me. Every time I hide behind T'chai, one of them gives me a disgusted look, and I'm reminded of how irritated everyone was with me back in the other tribe because of my hiding. Of course, their disapproval just made me want to hide more, because it's not a good feeling to be disliked.

Now, though? Here? I'm not about to just roll over and let T'chai mate me without getting pleasure out of it. I want kisses. I want foreplay. I want tenderness. I don't just want a quick pump and dump.

So I put a hand on his chest. "No." I shake my head to emphasize the word. "No."

To my relief, he pulls back. T'chai runs a hand down his face and sits back on his heels. I can tell he's aching—I'm aching too. But he doesn't get to just use me like I'm a body and not a person.

"I like you, and I know this is inevitable, but I'm not ready." I shake my head, scooting backward and sitting up. "I need a little bit of wooing here."

T'chai says something in that choppy, garbled language of his. He presses his hand to his chest and repeats a word over and over, then points at my chest.

"Yes. Resonance, I know." I put a hand into the air. "That doesn't mean you get to go to town on me." There's a confused look on his face, and an idea occurs to me. "Are you a virgin?" Surely not. He looks to be about my age…but there are no women here and I don't know if that's a recent occurrence or not. Maybe he's had women in the past and this is just a scouting party…but these huts are stone and look old, so I don't know if that answer fits.

It could just be that alien women have a hair-trigger and they don't need foreplay. Wouldn't that be nice? But even as much as I'm turned on and needy from the khui buzzing in my chest, I need more. I glance down at his impressive, straining equipment. Yeah, I'm going to need to be really, really wet and ready for this to work between us. "I'm not opposed to sex, T'chai," I say, looking him over. Really, really not opposed because he's utterly gorgeous and hard and has the most impressive equipment I've ever seen. "I just need to get good and ready first."

He tilts his head, studying me with those hooded eyes, and I know he doesn't understand a word.

I'll just need to show him instead.

"Here." I get up on my knees and crawl forward, then put a hand on his shoulder to steady myself. Like this, he's eye level with my breasts and his gaze falls to them. Just that small, hungry look makes me want him to touch them, but he doesn't reach out. Fighting back a sigh, I take his hand in mine and boldly put it between my legs.

T'chai groans, his startled gaze going to mine.

"Feel," I say, and I take his finger and glide it through my folds. I'm only slightly damp, at my core, and I stroke his finger through the wetness. "I need more of that." I could absolutely get more of that just by riding his hand, but I'll save that for later.

He narrows his eyes and gives me a look that tells me he doesn't understand. His finger presses against my core and he murmurs something.

I pull his hand away and point at his fingertips. They're a little moist but that's it. "Look, I need more than this if we're going to have sex." I glance around the hut, spot the water bowl, and get to my feet. "This is the most embarrassing demonstration ever," I mutter to myself as I scoop a handful of water and move to his side. I pour it back over his fingers and demonstrate again, pointing at his now wet skin and then pointing at my pussy. "These two things need to be alike, hombre."

If he understands, it's slow to dawn on him, and it just reinforces my thought that he's a virgin, somehow, even though he's utterly smoking hot. He rubs the water between his fingers and glances at me. "M'rsl…ltk?"

"Okay, sure. I need ltk, whatever that is." I point at his hand, then at myself, and repeat the word. "Ltk. Ltk." Thank god we're in private. My face feels like it's burning with embarrassment, and there's still a look of unease on his face as he studies his hand and tries to figure out what I'm telling him. I hop to my feet, grab another handful of water, and then pour it over his straining cock.

He jumps to his feet, exclaiming something that sounds unpleasant.

"Sorry! It's just…I'm trying to show you!" I point at my pussy. "M'rsl needs to be wet. Ltk." Then I point at his dick. "T'chai."

Realization crosses his face. He gestures with both his hands, indicating something large. "T'chai?" Then he moves his hands closer together, indicating small. "M'rsl?"

Close enough. I nod. "Yeah. Big things need to be eased in and it helps if I’m wet.”

A smug look of pride crosses his face, and I resist the urge to laugh. Typical man. Being told he's got too big of a dick feeds his ego. Of course it does. He murmurs a few things, gesturing at the water and then giving me a questioning look. He wants to know how to make me wet.

Definitely a virgin. If he wasn't, he'd already know the answer to that. I don't care how different alien bodies are, he'd understand giving a woman pleasure, and I don't think it's a macho sort of thing. He genuinely seems interested.

"Foreplay," I tell him. "Kissing. Touching."

Of course, telling him these things isn't going to work. I'm going to have to show him. I gesture that he should sit down again, and move closer when he does. I brush his long, gorgeous hair off his shoulders and lean in, tipping his chin up with a light touch. When he tilts his head, I brush my mouth over his.

He jerks back, startled.

"Ltk," I whisper, sliding my fingers along his jaw as I lean in again. "This'll definitely help make me wet. Wait and see."

I kiss him again, light and careless. I don't want to push too hard, in case he finds kissing me unappealing, but I already like this far too much. He tastes like saltwater and warmth, and his lips are soft under mine despite the fact that his mouth always looks like it's set into a hard line. I love the dichotomy of it, and I love that he's got a hint of soft, downy beard hair cupping his jaw. It's like the sexiness of scruff without the scratchiness of it.

When he remains still, I kiss him again. And again. I can't tell if he likes my touch or just tolerates it, so I lift my head and study his expression, waiting.

"M'rsl," he murmurs, then touches his mouth with his fingertips. He reaches out and touches his fingertips to my lips, as if feeling how soft they are, and it sends a quiver of heat through my belly.

"That was a kiss," I whisper to him. "And I really, really like kissing."

"Ltk," he murmurs, watching me.

"Getting there." I put my arms around his neck and slide into his lap, straddling him. "Can we kiss more?"

He leans in toward me in silent request, and more words aren't necessary. T'chai's hands go to my hips, and he holds me against him, the hard length of his cock pressed between our bodies. I'm not normally this bold—in fact, I'm pretty much the opposite of bold—but something about knowing T'chai is destined to be mine makes it easier. We're two halves. Soulmates. Media naranjas, as my mother would say. We're perfect for each other. So I'm absolutely going to be bold with him because it benefits both of us.

His mouth meets mine again, our noses bumping, and I chuckle. That's so damn adorable. T'chai smiles, too, and his hands slide up my back, caressing me. It feels so good that I let out a little sigh, and when his mouth presses against mine again, I decide to take things to the next level. I kiss him again, sucking lightly on his lower lip. "I'm going to avoid thinking about the fish heads you ate earlier," I whisper, "and focus on how good you feel. Because maybe it's the cootie, but you feel amazing."

I take his lower lip into my mouth and suck on it, pulling back until it stretches between us in the most blatant way. He groans, his eyes closing, and his fingers dig into my skin.

"More kissing," I whisper, and drag my tongue over his open mouth before he can speak again.

He jerks back in surprise, looking at me with a stunned expression.

"Do your people not kiss? At all?" I brush my fingers over his mouth. "Should I stop?"

T'chai studies my face, as if trying to determine if I meant to do that on purpose. After a moment, he grunts and pulls me close, licking lightly at my mouth.

"Can I show you how?" I whisper. "It's been a while but I'm an excellent kisser." I was the girl in high school (okay, and college) that always had a boyfriend. Most of the relationships weren't all that serious, but oh, I love a good kissing session. I love losing myself in the embrace of my partner and letting the world around me disappear. I love all kisses—wet or dry, deep and intense or light and flirty. I love the intimacy of it, the slicking of tongues, the feel of your partner's breath against your skin.

Best of all, just a little bit of kissing gets me utterly horny and ridiculously wet.

T'chai rubs his nose against mine, nipping at my lower lip, and I moan at the sensation. Oh, that's so good. He has sharp canines, and when they drag against my lip, it adds another level to the sensations, one that makes me quiver deep in my belly. I brush my fingers over his jaw as I let my mouth settle on his, and when his lips part under mine, I dart my tongue into his mouth. It's nothing more than a tease, a possibility of what's to come, but he groans and clutches me tighter, murmuring my name and pulling me in closer.

He's absolutely down for more kissing and I'm thrilled.

With a mixture of lighter kisses and flicks of my tongue, I take control of our makeout session. I kiss T'chai, focusing on pleasure more than anything else. I slick my tongue against his because it feels good. I trace his lower lip with my teeth because it feels good. I kiss him deep and hard because oh, dios, it feels amazing. And when I pull back, breathless, to assess what he thinks, he immediately pulls me back in again, his mouth covering mine.

This time, T'chai takes control of the kiss. It's not flirty and light like when I use my tongue. T'chai's kiss is a conquering stabbing of his tongue, artless and enthusiastic, and I try to gentle him and steer him with whimpers and flicks of my tongue, to show him what I like. It takes a little time, but when he slicks his tongue deep into my mouth, it hits me just right and I whimper at how good it feels. His demanding thrusts turn gentler, just as deep and conquering but not nearly as invasive, and by the time we break, panting, I'm practically wriggling in his lap with arousal.

The student has become the teacher very, very quickly.

"M'rsl," he murmurs, brushing a lock of hair back from my face. His gaze goes to my mouth, and I imagine my mouth is swollen and wet from our intense kisses.

"You can call me Mari." Not that he understands me. I touch one of his sweeping horns experimentally, curious about them. "Are these sensitive? Do they feel good?"

When he looks nonplussed at my touch, I suppose they're like horns on earth animals—nothing but hard keratin and not much else. I let my fingers drift over his long, thick hair, and then down his shoulder and arm. I enjoy touching him far too much. I continue touching him, fascinated at how warm and soft his skin is, despite the fact that he’s nothing but hard muscle.

And nakedness. He’s really, really naked, and the protruding length of his cock rises between us, as if begging to be touched. I want to—oh man, how I want to—but I need him to touch me first. I suspect that if I put my hands on his cock, he’s going to forget all about getting Mari turned on and just ride me like a pony.

The thought…isn’t a terrible one and I squeeze my thighs together tightly.

“M’rsl,” he breathes, pulling me into his lap.

I stiffen, not sure where he’s going with this, but he just presses me against his chest, as if fascinated with our skin to skin contact. T’chai rubs a big hand up and down my back, petting me, and…okay, that feels pretty damn good. I close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder, sighing with pleasure.

“M’rsl.” He slides his hand down my spine, then cups my ass.

“Mari,” I whisper. God, his touch feels good. “You can call me Mari.”

His hand strokes down the cleft of my ass and then sweeps over my thigh. He’s touching me all over, in repeated motions, just learning the feel of me and holding me against his chest. I put my hands on his skin, ever-aware of his cock pressing against my thigh, and look up at him. He’s watching me with intense, hooded eyes, and then leans down to press a light kiss to my mouth.

I tilt my face toward his, a silent request for more, and then we’re kissing again, even as his hands move all over my skin, desperate and possessive. Involuntarily, I rock my hips along his thigh, and I can feel his groan of response move through him, just as I feel the humming of his khui. It’s sexy and wild, just like this alien man, and I want more.

I take one of his big hands and put it on my breast. His kiss deepens, becomes more eager even as he palms my tits. He squeezes and flexes, as if trying to figure out what feels good, and then his thumb moves over my nipple, sending lightning through my body. I gasp, rocking against him again.

“M’rsl,” he murmurs, and then he’s utterly focused on my nipple, toying with the point of it until I’m digging my fingers into his skin, kissing him desperately as he makes me crazy with his touch.

He bites lightly on my lower lip, and then his hand skates toward my belly. He moves fast, but I don’t mind, as long as he’s touching me. I decide to show him what I like, though, taking his hand and guiding it to my folds. I stroke his finger up and down through the crease of my pussy, and then push it toward the entrance to my core.

T’chai groans, his startled gaze moving to mine. “Ltk.”

“Yup,” I whisper. I’m really wet, and when he glides his fingers up and down my sex, he drags that slickness with him. I moan and rock against his hand. I need to show him my clit, to introduce him to my most sensitive spot, but then he’s pushing one thick finger inside me, his intense gaze on my face, and I gasp, clinging to his shoulders.

That should not feel as good as it does, madre de dios.

He breathes my name again, the sound husky and sensual on his lips even as he thrusts into me with his finger. I whimper, my body making a wet sound as he works me with his hand, his gaze locked on my face. This is the hottest, sexiest thing I’ve ever experienced—

My khui shivers, shaking my entire body.

Or at least, it feels like it does. But then T’chai looks up at the ceiling and I realize the dried leaves that cover the hut’s roof are rustling too. It’s not just me that’s shaking.

It’s everything.

I roll off of him quickly, moving to the side and crouching as I stare at my surroundings. T’chai reaches for me again, but I push his hand away, worried.

The tremor dies away almost as quickly as it began, and then all is still once more.

“M’rsl?” T’chai strokes his hand on my arm, a silent invitation in his gaze.

I shake my head, getting to my feet. With a sigh, he follows me as I peek out of the hut into the night. Everything looks quiet and calm, but I don’t like this.

This place doesn’t feel safe.

I have to get out of here. As I glance over at T’chai, who doesn’t look all that concerned, I realize that these earthquakes must be normal for him. In his eyes, they’re no big deal. And that’s…kinda fucked up.

We both have to get out of here, I amend. We need to find Lauren and escape this island, all of us. Where we can go, I have no idea. I’m determined to take this one crisis at a time.

5

T’CHAI

M y mate sleeps beside me, restless and worried throughout the night. The earthshake filled her with unease, and after that, she did not want to be touched. I suspect she has lived through the same type of tragedy that Tall Horn has. Did she lose her tribe in a similar shake? Is that why she panicked? I want to tell her that it is nothing, that our island shivers and shakes all the time, but I do not have the words for her.

I stroke her mane as she sleeps and watch over her instead.

I am greedy, though. Even as I watch her dream, I want to touch her again. My khui hums in my chest, full of need. It wants me to claim my mate now-now-now, but M’rsl needs more time. I will not push her past what she is ready to give. My body aches with her nearness, and I want to sleep beside her, but I do not trust myself. My cock demands to burrow into her warmth, and I settle for licking my fingers, as if I can still taste her juices.

I did not understand what she was asking for until she showed me. That she must be wet and slippery to take my length inside her. Of course it makes sense, and now I am fascinated with the thought of making her cunt grow wet once more. Perhaps if a female had survived Tall Horn’s destruction, I would know more about mating practices. I would know how to get her cunt slick and ready, but she had to show me. M’rsl knew, though.

It is not her first time to mate, then.

The thought does not bother me. It is clear she has no mate, or she would not have resonated to me. If anything, I am relieved. She can teach me all that she knows, and I can make her cunt so wet that she comes running to my arms when I touch her.

I like that thought. A lot. I lick my fingers again, trying to remember her taste, but it is gone. I glance over at her, wondering if I can wake her with more mouth on mouth, more touches between her thighs, or if she is still upset over the earthshake. Awaken, I encourage silently. Look at me and let me touch you, M’rsl. I am ready to be your mate. Let me pleasure you. I will put my hands and tongue anywhere that pleases you.

That idea will not leave my head the moment it enters, and I think of all the different ways I can lick my mate’s body. Her teats—the tips of which I learned were sensitive. Her soft stomach. Her equally soft thighs. Her cunt. My mouth waters at the realization that I can put my lips there and tongue her directly, and I groan with need.

Now I really want that.

At my side, M’rsl shifts, her teats swaying as she rolls onto her back, her eyes closed. My gaze locks onto those rounded swells, so very different from the females I remember. The tips are dark and inviting, and I wonder what they would feel like on my mouth—

The earth shakes again, violently this time.

M’rsl awakens with a scream, her eyes wide, as the ground shivers and bucks underneath her.

“I have you,” I call out, snagging her and pulling her body against mine. “I will not let you come to harm.”

She clings to me, terrified, as the world rattles around us. I stroke her mane and hold her tight, whispering words of comfort that I wish I believed. All the while, I wait for the shaking to end…and I wonder if it ever will.

What if I have acquired my mate just to lose her? The death of the Great Smoking Mountain cost me my family last time…but a mountain cannot die twice, can it?

I do not want to find out. I do not want to lose M’rsl or my clansmates.

Please stop, I implore it. If the ancestors are listening, if the spirits are aware—make it stop.

There’s a low, dreadful rumble…and then things subside. The world returns to silence, no sound but the angry cries of nightflyers in the jungle awoken from their sleep. I let out a sigh of relief.

“T’chai!” My mate says my name in that curious way of hers, and there is alarm on her face as she gestures around us. “Snotsafe! Wehaftageddouda hir!”

“I think it is done for now,” I reassure her, wishing I understood the sounds she slings in my direction. “We will go fishing and see if our angry island has washed up food for us to eat, yes?” I pat her back and give her an encouraging smile.

“Urnotlistnin!” She grabs my face in her hands and forces me to look her in the eyes. “Sa vawlkaynoh!” She babbles on a long stream of words, gesticulating at our surroundings and I watch her, silent, trying to grasp what she is telling me. She is upset about the earthshake. That much is obvious. But everything else is lost, and after a moment, she lets out a sigh of frustration. She grabs my hand and gets to her feet, tugging me toward the entrance to the hut.

“Are you hungry?” I ask her. “I can fish for you.” I wish desperately that I understood her. I never thought that I would not be able to somehow understand my mate. How can she not speak the same words as me? It makes no sense.

M’rsl leads me out of the hut and I am not entirely surprised to see that M’tok, S’bren and R’jaal are nearby, talking quietly. They look over as we emerge.

“Is it a good morning?” S’bren asks cheerfully. “Is the clan larger by one now that resonance has been fulfilled?”

R’jaal clears his throat, trying not to laugh. M’tok just rolls his eyes.

I say nothing, because they do not need to know that M’rsl was willing and wet—so wet—between her thighs but the earthshake panicked her. Her wetness was for me alone. Even now, I do not like that they watch the bobbing of her teats as she drags me toward them, or the way R’jaal’s gaze lingers on the curls between her thighs.

Those are mine. She is mine. He should not be looking.

I fight back the urge to snarl at my clansmates, because that is R’jaal, who lost M’rsl to me. That is S’bren, who does not have a cruel bone in his body. And M’tok, who is not always pleasant but will not hesitate to share his food when I have returned empty-handed from fishing. They are my family. All we have is each other.

And yet…they should not be looking at M’rsl so hard.

My mate approaches them and babbles more of her frantic words, her hands waving as she motions to our surroundings. They look at her, frowning, and then look at me.

“Her words make no sense. Are we sure they are not just sounds?” M’tok gestures at his head. “Did she hit it while in the water?”

“I do not know.” I tug M’rsl back toward me and touch her hair, looking for wounds I might have missed.

She bats my hands away with a sigh and just rubs her face as if tired. “Fckinfrgetit.”

“Are you hungry?” I ask her, trying to pull her close to me. She looks so frustrated and sad that I want to make it better for her. Food is the simplest answer—I know my day is always better when my belly is full.

M’rsl looks over at me, then gestures at the trees.

Ah yes. I had promised to take her to the beach where R’jaal found her. I nod, pleased with the smile she beams in my direction. I smile back, and…my cock responds. “We are, ah, going hunting.”

My clansmates make sounds of disgust—or envy. S’bren holds out his spear. “Here. Take mine, not that you will use it.”

“Hunting. I will believe that when you return with fresh meat,” M’tok grumbles.

R’jaal just gives us a nod, his expression unusually somber. Normally he is teasing and full of energy and determination, but on this day, he just seems…tired. “Be watchful. The island is angry this day.”

“Perhaps it is angry because T’chai keeps waving that thing around,” M’tok says with a smirk, gesturing at me.

“T’chai?” M’rsl repeats. “T’chai M’rsl?”

S’bren snickers, and I find I am more than ready to have a few moments alone with my mate.

M’RSL IS quiet as we cut through the jungle. As we left our home beach, I grabbed a net drying on one of the rocks and slung it around my hips for carrying. It rustles and makes noise as we walk, but my mate is not a quiet huntress, so I figure a bit more noise does not matter. I keep my spear at the ready and watch the trees, but the jungle is peaceful. There are no hungry kaari roaming, no great-beaked pouncers flinging themselves down upon us. I stick to the edge of the trees, just because I do not want to see J’shel of Strong Arm, or N’dek…and then I remember N’dek is wounded, his leg gone. It is a death sentence, and I feel badly for him. For all that we are in different clans, he is a fine hunter.

Was a fine hunter.

My thoughts are grim as I escort my mate across the edge of the jungle, toward the other beach. “Once upon a time there were long stretches of beach,” I tell her as we walk, because it is far too quiet. “Enough for all clans to hunt and never worry about encroaching upon another’s territory. But the Great Smoking Mountain died and took much of the land away with it. Now there is not much left.”

We emerge from the greenery onto the sands, and M’rsl rushes forward and releases my hand. She runs toward the water, even though the beach is empty. “Loooorrrnn,” she calls, cupping her hands to her face. “Yaaaaryoooheeer?”

I follow behind her, curious. In the distance, I see the black “egg” that R’jaal found with M’rsl in it, and I head toward it. As I do, I cannot help but notice that the sands are churned with footprints. The tide should have washed them away, so that means someone else has visited this beach this morning.

K’thar, perhaps? Is his female looking for mine? A possessive jolt rocks through me and I surge to my feet, heading for M’rsl. “Stay close,” I tell her. “Do not stray.”

“Djoosee Looorn?” she asks hopefully. “Ennebuddee?”

“Let us go look at your egg and then we will see if the fish are biting here,” I say to her. I hold my hand out and wait. She looks around the beach and then reluctantly takes my hand. For some reason…that stings. I do not like that I am her second choice.

Am I not her mate? Her resonance?

Is she unhappy we have resonated? The thought makes my guts go cold.

6

MARI

T  rue to his word, T’chai takes me to the other beach, but there’s no sign of Lauren. He seems to be in a bad mood now that we’re here, this new “mate” of mine. He’s grumpy and watches me so closely, as if expecting me to bolt away from him. I want to ask where he expects me to go, but of course I can’t. We’ve barely gotten past sharing names.

This is so damn frustrating.

The pod on the beach is empty; there’s no sign of Lauren there, either. I put my hand to my eyes and gaze out on the distant waters, but I don’t see anything else in the distance, no snow-capped mountains or white valleys. There’s nothing but bottle-green ocean as far as the eye can see, and when I touch the waters here, they’re warm and crystalline and completely unlike the other frozen beach.

With a frustrated sigh, I thump down on the sands and hug my legs.

I don’t know what I expected to find here.

“M’rsl?” T’chai kneels next to me, and then reaches out and strokes my hair. He senses my sadness, and it’s clear that it bothers him.

“I’m okay,” I tell him with a faint smile. “I just need to get my head on straight. I’m here, right? I might as well do my best to figure out how to survive here. If Lauren’s out there, I hope she’s safe.” I gesture at the jungle. “Unless you want to take me to go look in there?”

T’chai shakes his head and makes a few gestures that indicate that the jungle is full of bitey things. I nod understanding. Right. Dangerous and full of critters. I get it.

He touches my stomach, and that small brush of his fingers sends heat coiling through my body again. Our eyes meet and he gives me a small, apologetic smile as if to say yeah, I’m sorry you’re stuck with me.

And then he rubs my belly and makes the gesture for food.

“Am I hungry? Yeah, I guess I could eat.” I blush. Of course he’s talking about food. Here I am, thinking about how I bounced on his fingers last night and tried to show him how to get me wet, and he’s thinking about food. Gotta love this language barrier.

My khui starts up as he smiles at me, and I can feel my face grow hot with arousal. We haven’t solved this resonance thing between us yet, and I’m acutely aware of his nakedness and his strength. The scent of him washes over me, utterly appealing, and his long hair drifts against my skin in the breeze. I’m struck with the need to grab him and just kiss the hell out of him—

Then I wonder why I don’t.

Is it because I worry people might think I’m being easy? That I’m moving too fast? Except with his people, I’m expected to move fast. They see nothing wrong with us jumping each other’s bones the moment resonance happens. As for the rest of my friends…they might be dead.

Who’s to know, other than me?

As my mother would say, el que espera, despera. He who waits, despairs.

I slide my arms around his neck. “No more waiting,” I whisper, and press my lips to his.

That’s all it takes for T’chai to eagerly respond. With a groan, he tangles his fingers in my hair and his mouth is on mine, hot and intense. He bears me down to the sand, his lips constantly on mine, his tongue hungry and eager for more, and I pant with excitement. Oh yes. Oh, yes.

My stomach growls.

T’chai stops. Oh, no.

He lifts his head and looks down at me. Grins. Says something in that weird language of theirs, and then presses a small kiss to the tip of my nose that I find utterly charming. He gets off me—oh so reluctantly—and pulls the net off his hips, then heads into the water, scooping up his spear again.

What he’s thinking is as clear as day—he needs to provide for his woman. It’s a theme I’ve seen with the other alien inhabitants of this planet and I’m not entirely surprised to see it here. Maybe that’s why I feel so safe with him—he’s so protective and caring. I’ve felt so unsafe and alone ever since I woke up on this world, and knowing that someone else is looking out for me fills me with such relief. It makes me feel seen…and I didn’t realize how much I needed that.

So I boldly watch as T’chai heads into the water, lusting after the dimples at the base of his spine. I sigh with appreciation as he shifts colors, matching the shade of the water, and holds his spear, watching and waiting.

If I ignore the fact that this entire island is possibly one gigantic volcano, I’ve been pretty lucky. I’m not an alien slave. I’m alive. And if I have to resonate, at least it’s to a guy that’s so freaking hot it makes my mouth water just to look at him. I wish we could converse—I’d love to have a real talk with him—but I’ll take what I can get for now.

T’chai wades out deeper, until he’s nothing but a pair of shoulders in the hard-hitting waves, and I have to squint to make out his outline. After a short time, he dives under the water, and the surface waters splash wildly for a moment before he bounds up for air, a triumphant look on his face.

The thing he’s caught is huge, too—it’s easily the size of one of his arms in length and twice as fat. It looks like a gigantic eel except for the tiny pairs of flipper-like feet that run along the underside of the pale belly and the row of spines across the back. T’chai talks excitedly as he moves onto the sand next to me, dripping seawater. He’s clearly thrilled that he’s made this kill, and his enthusiasm bleeds over to me.

“You kicked ass,” I agree, beaming at him.

He grins at me, all sheer delight, as he expertly plucks the spines off the back of the thing. He’s talking non-stop, the harsh-sounding syllables flowing from his lips in excitement as he then guts the fish and tosses the innards aside, and I realize we’re going to eat this right here and now. I try not to be grossed out by it, considering that food is scarce and there’s enough to feed everyone on this fat sausage of an eel. He cuts a thick slab of pink flesh from the insides, and I can hear T’chai’s stomach growl furiously even as he hands it over to me.

My heart melts. He’s starving and doing all the work, and still thinks only of me. I give him a bright smile in response, determined to act as if this fish tastes better than anything I’ve ever had before, just out of politeness. He worked hard to get it, and I’m not going to pooh-pooh any food. I take the fish from his hands and bravely take a bite before I can think too hard about what I’m putting in my mouth.

It’s sushi. It is.

It’s…delicious. Fresh and flavorful and salty, and I let out a little exclamation of happiness as the taste hits my tongue. T’chai’s expression is so delighted you’d think he was responsible for the taste. I chuckle and offer him a bite.

He refuses, pushing it back toward me.

I shake my head, urging it back toward him. “We can share. You’re doing all the hunting, after all.”

He hesitates, but his stomach growls again. His jaw clenches, and I get the vague impression that his body’s embarrassing him with its needs. T’chai takes the food from me and takes the smallest, most reluctant bite ever, and then tries to hand it back to me.

I give him an exasperated look. “Really, cabrón?”

Startled at my response, T’chai stares, and then chuckles, shaking his head. He takes a larger bite, and then eats the remainder of it, practically devouring it in his hunger. I just give him a knowing stare as he cuts another piece, and offers it to me. In this way, we eat our fill, and when we’re done, there’s still plenty of fish-eel left to take back to the others. T’chai gestures at it and then back in the direction of his village, and looks at me, waiting.

Once again, I suspect he’s choosing me. He knows how important it was for me to come to this beach, to look for Lauren. The others won’t get to eat if I want to stay and dick around, though. I don’t know how long raw fish lasts in this humidity, but my guess is not long.

There’s really no choice to be made. I know they’re hungry and I suspect catches like this are few and far between. Plus, if Lauren was here, she’s not here now. I called for her for a long time, and nothing. Might as well feed the others at least. So I take T’chai’s hand in mine and gesture that we should return.

His smile of response is brilliant and warm and makes me feel so, so good. I guess I can choose him, too.

THE OTHERS ARE THRILLED with T’chai’s catch and don’t even complain that we ate our share before we brought it back to the group. They still watch me pretty intently, and it makes me a little unnerved. After all, I’m a lone naked woman in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by several large naked men who have obviously not been laid in a long, long time. It would make any girl nervous. So I hide behind T’chai and cling to his arm, because I know he’ll protect me. The surly one of the group gives me dismissive looks as if I’m the world’s largest coward, but I don’t care. I can be a coward in their eyes as long as I’m a safe coward.

Once the food is eaten down to the bones and someone snags the eel head to munch on (thankfully not T’chai), the little tribe separates again. T'chai takes me to the rocky cliffs that spiral upward over their little settlement, and there are supply caves here—or they were supply caves once upon a time. Most of the supplies left here have rotted from time or can't be eaten. There's lots of nets and dried leaves and very little else. From up here, though, you can see for miles and miles around, and I spend most of the afternoon scanning the area looking for signs of Lauren, or even the others we left behind on the snowy beaches. I see lots of waters, but no snow and no distant land.

I see that the water surrounding the island is lighter, as if we're built up on a shelf of some kind and the ocean's not as deep. I see the sides of the cliffs are steep here and curve around the water like the edges of a bowl.

It's a caldera, which means there was a volcano here…or still is.

And beyond the thick carpet of green trees, I see a jagged peak that looks like a broken tooth, and angry smoke pluming forth from it.

It concerns me. It concerns me a lot.

So do the myriad earthquakes that shake the ground about once an hour. They're never very big, but they're ever-present reminders that something bad is happening on this island and it just reinforces the feeling that we need to get far, far away from here.

But how? I think of the pod Lauren and I arrived here in, and how much seawater I ended up drinking. Something tells me that we can't fit four aliens and me in there and all expect to end up staying afloat. Plus, I have no idea where the heck we would go.

I also don't know how to make T'chai understand this. He knows there are earthquakes. He doesn't like them either, but maybe there's just nowhere to go.

The thought's a depressing one.

When the twin suns start to set, we head back down the cliffs and to the huts. My bare feet aren't equipped for walking around without shoes, and I cut my toes on a bit of rock and hiss with pain. T'chai immediately moves toward me and kneels, back to me, and gestures that I should put my arms around his neck. I do so, and then I'm getting a piggy-back ride down the side of the cliffs as his callused, nimble feet pick a path easily back down to the huts. He holds my legs around his hips, and I try to think of this as pure necessity. He's just being nice.

It's just a piggy-back ride.

Even so, my khui goes absolutely wild. It hums and sings in my chest so loud that I can feel it shivering through my entire body. His sings in response, and I'm acutely aware of the press of my naked breasts to his big, strong back. I'm even more acutely aware of how I'm straddling him from behind and I'm not wearing panties. My legs are wide open in a silent invitation, and all he would have to do is stop, pull me around to his front, and tug me down onto his cock.

And…I don't know that I'd say no.

I could blame resonance. I could blame the fact that this volcano might explode tomorrow and I'm feeling a bit hedonistic. That I need to get all my living in before it's taken from me. Maybe it's all those things…or maybe it's that T'chai is just utterly gorgeous and wild, and he's like no one I've seen before. I feel so beautiful when he touches me with that reverent look on his face. I feel cherished when he gets all huffy and protective and blocks his tribesmates from looking at me. And I can't stop thinking about his hands on me last night, the wonder and lust on his face as he touched me.

Plus, I really like sex and it's been a while. So…what's the harm? All signs are pointing to yes.

There will be a baby, but…given that we might not live beyond the week? If the volcano doesn't explode? If we don't all starve to death? A baby seems very low on the list of things to worry about.

I'm going to live for the moment tonight.

T'CHAI

M'tok and S'bren both catch small fish and share them with the clan. I eat only a few bites, because I gorged myself earlier this day, and M'rsl only nibbles. She seems distracted, holding tight to my arm and keeping me close to her. She cringes back when one of the others looks in her direction, which just sours M'tok's mood.

"Your mate is afraid of a breeze," he comments. "She is going to struggle here."

"Then I will take care of her," I retort. "It is not your concern."

"She is part of the tribe. Of course it is my concern—"

"Enough," R'jaal says, and he sounds tired. He gets to his feet and dusts sand off his legs. "It is clear she is not used to life here. She will adjust in time. Give her a chance."

M'tok just rolls his eyes.

I get to my feet and M'rsl jumps to hers. She immediately goes behind me again, casting a worried look at the others, and her face is flushed. She always seems fine with me…is it M'tok? Perhaps I should have a word with him that he is making my mate anxious. Perhaps I should just keep them apart entirely.

But then M'rsl grabs my hand and her thumb strokes over my skin, and I am suddenly not thinking of M'tok at all. I look over at her as we walk to my hut, and she gives me a heated look that has nothing to do with food or my tribe.

I think about how loud her khui was as I carried her down the cliffs, and my heart pounds. My khui sings out, eager for me to mate, and my cock fills, growing erect and making it difficult for me to walk. Perhaps I misunderstand her. I try to calm my eager body, thinking of things other than my mate and her hand in mine. I try to think of fishing. Of nets. Of kaari and Strong Arm and things that will make my cock deflate. She is just happy, I tell myself, because she has a full belly. If she wishes to be touched, she will let me know.

Just like last night, when she rocked on my hand and made those incredible gasping noises as I pleasured her—

I groan, scrubbing my free hand down my face as we approach my hut. I cannot think about last night or my cock will never go down. I need to think of something else. I push aside the woven grass flap that covers the entrance to my hut and hold it for M'rsl. Think about coverings for my mate's soft feet, or—

The moment M'rsl is inside the hut, she reaches for me.

Her hands are on my arms and she yanks me into the hut, and I stumble into her. She laughs, the sound soft and breathless, and then her hands move to my face and she pulls me down toward her. I go eagerly, and when her lips close over mine, my pulse blazes through my body.

I did not misinterpret the looks she gave me.

The realization fills me with fierce joy, and I kiss her hard, my tongue licking against the soft well of her mouth. She moans, her hand sliding down my stomach, and then she brushes her fingers over my cock.

I hiss, breaking the kiss.

M'rsl looks up at me, her small teeth biting into her lip. "S'bad?" She whispers. "Unnotwantmi?"

What is she saying? I fight back frustration and press a quick kiss to her forehead, trying to stay under control. "If you touch me there, I will not be able to stop," I warn her. "I need to know if you understand what is happening between us."

Her brows furrow and she gazes up at me. "U hokay T'chai?"

My name sounds enticing in her mouth, and my cock twitches in response. I ignore the hunger that creeps up my spine and the way my sac fills. Instead, I touch her cheek gently with the backs of my fingers and then tap at my chest. "Do you know what resonance is? It means we are mates." I tap her chest, too, right between her fascinatingly jiggly teats. "It means we are together in all ways. It means we will make young."

M'rsl gives an enticing little wiggle, takes my hand, and puts it between her legs with an entreating smile on her face.

The moment I touch her hot, wet cunt, I am lost. She is already slippery with need, and I cannot stop touching her. My fingers move through her folds, learning her soft body once more. I murmur her name over and over again as her hands slide over my chest.

"T'chai," she whispers. "Wantchoo."

I slide a hand to the back of her neck even as I caress her cunt, drifting my fingertips through her slick heat. I find the entrance to her body and press into it, remembering how she rocked against my hand last night. I want that again. I want to sink my cock into her. I want so very many things with this female.

She moans, pushing her hips against my hand and encouraging my finger deeper, until it is seated to the hilt inside her. I watch her face as I pump it in and out slowly, letting instinct guide me. She feels so tight like this, my mate. My finger feels as if it barely fits, and yet my cock must sink deep into her if I am to fulfill resonance. Perhaps…two fingers? "Can I give you more?" I ask her. "Can you take more?"

M'rsl rocks against my hand, making whimpering little noises that threaten my control. I watch her, dumbfounded, as she rides on my palm.

“My mate,” I groan. “Look at how beautiful you are.”

She twists her fingers into my mane, holding onto me as her hot little mouth goes to my chest. She bites at my skin even as she bucks into my hand. I growl, fascinated at how wild she is. I push a second finger into her, pumping hard, and she’s so wet and tight that it nearly breaks me. How can anything be so good?

“T’chai,” she pants, gesturing at the nest of leaves that makes up my bed. Do I want to go there with her?

More than anything.

I lock my arm around her waist and lift her against me, claiming her mouth with mine even as I work her slick cunt with my fingers. I stagger over the few steps to my bed and ease her onto the ground, thrusting into her tight channel and relishing the feel of my fingers sinking so deep inside her. I love the way she clenches tight around me, and imagining her squeezing my cock and milking me nearly makes me spend.

Resonance is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

I maul M’rsl’s soft mouth with mine—I want to mate tongues with her gently, but my need will not allow soft, slow touches. I want to claim her. I want to own her, to possess every finger-span of her golden body and show the world that she is mine and mine alone.

And my mate is just as eager for it as I am. Her breath pants and she works her hips against my seeking fingers, my name breathless on her lips.

I push over her, settling my weight above her smaller form. I am suddenly acutely aware of just how fragile M’rsl is, how much smaller than me. I do not want to crush her…and I hesitate.

M’rsl moans, locking her legs around my hips. Her heels dig into my behind, urging me forward. I notch my cock at her entrance, watching her face for uncertainty, but all I see is hunger. Slowly, I push into her, the breath hissing from between my teeth at how good she feels. It seems to take an eternity before I am seated into her body, my sac pressing up against her skin, and she shivers and squirms under me.

I pump into her, moving slowly, and when her little gasps do nothing but encourage me to move faster, I keep going. Over and over, I rock into her, until our bodies are shoving across the leaves and she clings to me as if she will never let me go.

I come quickly, my seed boiling forth and spilling despite my efforts to make our mating last longer. It is too much, too quick, and I hear M’rsl’s little whimper of disappointment as I collapse on top of her.

“I am sorry,” I gasp, pressing my mouth to her soft skin. “Next time it will be better.”

7

MARI

So that…wasn't great.

Don't get me wrong. It was good…it just wasn't great. T'chai gets points for enthusiasm, but loses them for all the spots he missed out on, and not making me come. Still, it's his first time, and I'm feeling soft and lenient as he lies atop me and murmurs soft things. We have all night to make things better, and I intend on showing him what I need. It's not a problem. So I stroke his thick, fascinating hair and touch his blue skin and marvel at how he feels deep inside me. His spur brushes up against sensitive parts, teasing close to my clit, but it's not at quite the right angle to make me come.

When T'chai recovers from his orgasm, he props up on his arms and gives me a rueful look.

"It's okay," I tell him with a faint smile. "Everyone's first time sucks, just a little. Next time will be magic."

He touches my cheek, brushing his fingers over it in a captivated way, and I watch as his color ripples to the same shade as my skin. That's as fascinating as it is flattering, and I let out a little sigh of pleasure, squirming under him. I'm acutely aware of how big he is, because he's still seated deep inside me. I'm wet with his release, our mingling fluids trickling down my thighs, and I should probably get up and clean up. I just…don't want to. I like the way he feels over me, how big he is inside me, even now.

T'chai murmurs something, and I wish I understood him. I hate this language barrier. I hate that Lauren and I got separated from the others before we could get one of those translator chips that Farli and her mate were talking about. I want to know what he's saying. Does he like my body? Does he like the way I feel underneath him? Because I like it…a lot.

I run my fingers along the lines of his jaw, noting absently that I'm still resonating. My khui doesn't seem to have quieted any, and I wonder if it's because I have to come, too. I should have asked if there were specifics when it comes to resonance. I admit I tuned out once I heard it was about babies. Not that I don't like babies. I've just been too stressed to think about the future, much less children.

So I tap his chest, hoping that my question comes through. "We're still resonating, querido." I rub the spot where I can feel his khui vibrating through his skin. "Is that bad?"

He shrugs and leans down to nuzzle at my neck.

Okay, I'll take that. I smile, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "I guess we're not done, then?"

T'chai says something under his breath, and his hand skims down my hip.

I close my eyes and enjoy his petting. It’s nice to be touched. After living in terror and feeling alone, being in his arms helps. I don’t feel so very…stranded and afraid. I feel like I have a friend now. A partner. Someone to face the world with me.

It’s unreal how incredible it feels.

His hand strokes over my breast, and then he begins to tease my nipple, working it with his fingers until it’s tight and aching, and a little moan escapes my throat.

He whispers filthy things—at least, I imagine they're filthy—as he rolls my nipple, tweaking it and teasing it and making me so needy that I'm wriggling underneath him. My pussy clenches in response, tightening around his cock, and then we both gasp. I'd forgotten he was still inside me because he hasn't moved, and my body's reaction makes me realize that he's grown hard once more. T'chai's khui hums loudly, sending vibrations dancing along my skin. I want his mouth on me. I want his hands on me. I want everything he can give me, and the thought makes me shiver.

T'chai rocks into me, and as he does, I arch up against him. The small adjustment makes his spur graze along the side of my clit, teasing my skin and sending a hot bolt of lightning through my body.

I make a choked cry. "Ay dios. I didn't think…" I'd heard some of the other women mention spurs, but I'd never realized just how good it'd feel. I know sex feels good, but this puts things in a whole new level. Like, the highest level.

He grits my name, driving into me, and angles my hips, trying for the same motion as before. It's clear he wants me to have the same reaction—and he succeeds. My body lights up, and I cry out again. It's like having him play with my clit even as he pumps into me with his enormous, ridged cock. Our bodies slap together, making wet noises as he claims me hard and fast, and this time, when he comes, I'm right there with him.

The sounds I make are embarrassing in their volume and lack of coherency, but it doesn't matter. No one matters except T'chai, and he's grinning down at me, a dopey look of pleasure on his face, as if he just scored a touchdown or something.

It's freaking adorable. I chuckle, pulling him against me with a sigh. "You're cute for an alien, you know that?"

"M'rsl," he murmurs, and strokes my hair.

I close my eyes, staying with him as he rolls onto his side. I'm a little tired, but I'm pretty sure we're going to have sex again. And again. So for now, I'll catch a little shut-eye. I'm drifting off to sleep when I realize I'm still purring. My cootie hasn't stopped yet. That's okay, too. I'm down for a few more rounds.

With a pleased sigh, I snuggle closer.

His chest shakes. I crack an eye open, and realize the ground is shaking, too. Everything is shaking.

Another fucking earthquake.

Just like that, my good mood disappears. We both tense and he holds me close until the shaking stops, and then the world is silent again. "We have to get off this island," I whisper. "Soon. There's going to be a big one and it's going to be ugly." An idea occurs to me and I tap his chest. “Where is the mainland? It has to be close, right? Maybe a day or two away? Can we go there?”

He watches me, but it’s clear he doesn’t follow what I’m saying.

I gesture out in the direction of the water, and mention my name. “I want to go there. There’s got to be land out there, and I know it’s probably ice cold but it’s better than staying here. Can we leave?”

Vague comprehension crosses his face and T’chai just tugs me closer, stroking my hair and making shushing noises. He probably thinks I’m just panicking.

Maybe I am.

There has to be something we can do, though…but what?

EVERYONE’S IN A BITCHY, tense mood the next morning.

I should have guessed something was up when T’chai practically hauled me into his arms and shepherded me toward the clifftop caves. We’d been poking around with fishing…well, sort of. Mostly we’d been flirting on the beach, unable to keep our hands off of one another. The other guys gave us some disgusted looks and headed to the far end of the shore to give us some privacy—or so they wouldn’t have to be around our kissing.

Suited me just fine.

S’bren caught a fish, though, and immediately jogged over to share it. That started a fight with T’chai and S’bren, with both of them gesturing at me and me feeling guilty, like I’d done something wrong. I think S’bren was just being nice, and T’chai seems…surly this morning.

No, not surly. Possessive, I realize. It has something to do with the fact that we’re still resonating fiercely, and I suspect we’re going to need several more rounds of matings before my cootie calms down.

Not that this is a problem. Just thinking about it makes me all hot and bothered.

But then R’jaal comes running, and T’chai snags me, and the next thing I know, we’re spending far too long in one of the stuffy, covered caves, and I have no idea what is going on.

A voice calls out, loud and strong. I frown in surprise, looking at the others crowded into the cave with me. R’jaal is here. M’tok is here. S’bren is here…so who’s calling?

Are there…enemies? I tremble, clinging to T’chai’s hand. Are we in danger?

Then…I hear a familiar, female voice chime in. “MARISOL! WHERE ARE YOU?”

“LAUREN,” I cry, thrilled to my core. She’s alive! “IS THAT YOU?”

T’chai steps forward, as if to block me from leaving the cave. With a happy laugh, I push right on past him. He doesn’t realize that Lauren is my friend. I bolt out of the cave and look around. Beyond the huts, there’s a pair standing near the tree line, and I recognize the brunette woman, even if she’s wearing nothing but leaves.

“Yes! It’s me!” Lauren bellows, and races forward even as I rush to meet her.

I stumble through the sand, filled with happiness as I fling my arms around Lauren. “Oh my god,” I squeal, my voice high-pitched with excitement. I don’t care. I’m too happy to see her. “It’s you! I didn’t know what happened with you!”

“You either! I woke up and you were gone!” She bounces a little, squeezing me into another hug, and it’s such a relief to see another human face, especially that of my friend. “I’m so relieved.”

“Me too.” I hug her again and while I’m naked, it seems that Lauren’s been making herself leafy clothing. She’s wearing what looks like a short grass skirt and a leaf mat of some kind over her top. It doesn’t cover much, but I can relate. Clothing is clothing…though I don’t feel the urge to cover up. Now that S’bren and the others have gotten past their initial round of staring, being naked around them doesn’t bother me. It’s just skin and it’s so warm here that you don’t really need clothes. “I wasn’t sure if you were okay,” I gush at her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! It’s you I’ve been worried about. I didn’t know what happened to you because when I woke up, I was alone with K’thar. But he told me the other tribe had you and I wanted to come and see for myself.” She beams at me as if that explains everything.

Wait, she can talk to this person named K’thar? He told her that I was here? But how…? I look around for this K’thar person and a large, hulking figure emerges from the trees. He looks very different from my lean, handsome T’chai. His features—and form—are blunt. His horns are small and his scowl wide. And he’s got four frighteningly thick arms attached to his massive barrel chest.

He’s also looking at me with distrust. “He…he doesn’t look like the others,” I admit, tugging Lauren a little closer to me.

“He doesn’t?” Lauren seems puzzled at my words.

“Is that…four arms?” I can’t help but ask the obvious.

“Um, yeah. Everyone has four arms, don’t they? I thought all the aliens on the island did.”

I take a step backward, and as I do, T’chai puts a warm hand on my shoulder. I know it’s him because my khui immediately starts up, and some of my anxiety calms. It doesn’t matter how threatening this other guy looks—T’chai won’t let anything happen to me.

Lauren stares up at T’chai with a frown on her face. “Okay, this is weird. Do your guys all have horns like that?”

My guys? I guess they are, in a way. “And I guess all of yours have four arms?”

“Right down to the baby.”

“There’s a baby?” I’m shocked. How is there a baby in this volcanic hellscape? Then again, why wouldn’t there be? I’m not sure if T’chai realizes they’re living at the base of a volcano, or if he’s even aware that it’s a problem. Their lives are simple. If there are other tribes here—and it sounds like there are—why wouldn’t they have babies? “There are only four guys here,” I tell Lauren. “I think their tribe has been wiped out. I get the impression there used to be a lot more people here.”

Her expression changes to a wary one. “I know. K’thar’s people live in a big tree home, but it’s nearly empty.”

Oh god. That means bad things have happened, and judging from the earthquakes, I don’t think it’s a bad guess to assume that they’re going to happen again. I grab her hands. “Lauren, we have to get out of here. Do you know what this island is?”

“A volcano caldera,” she tells me, nodding. “And we’re right on the edge of what’s left.”

“It’s not dormant, though. It can’t be. There are parts of it that are still smoking. And the ground shakes every day. It’s like this thing is just waiting to explode again and go all Krakatoa on us.”

“Kraka-what?”

“Do you remember your history? Krakatoa was a volcano that was so big that when it exploded back in the nineteenth century it could be heard from thousands of miles away.” I squeeze her hands tightly. “And it took the entire island and all its inhabitants out with it.”

Lauren pales. “Oh. That’s really, really not good.”

“We have to get back to the others on the mainland. I’m trying to talk to T’chai about it, but he won’t listen to me.”

“Is he the one that kidnapped you?” She scowls. “We’re here now, Mari. Let us help protect you. K’thar is a good guy, I promise.”

Kidnapped? I pull my hands free from hers, surprised. “R’jaal is the one that took me here. When I met the others, though, things changed.” I put a hand to my chest. “I resonated, Lauren. Can you believe that?”

“Yes, actually. I did the same.”

I’m shocked. “You did?”

She nods proudly. “To K’thar. And you did to R’jaal? The one that stole you?”

Eek. No wonder R’jaal looks so sad lately. He probably thought I was supposed to be his. I grimace. “Actually, no. I didn’t resonate to him. He brought me back to the group and I resonated to his buddy. It’s been…an interesting few days.”

“Is that why you’re going nude? Did we interrupt something?”

I giggle, even though I’m blushing. “No. Everyone here goes naked. It just seemed weird to demand clothing and they wouldn’t have understood it anyhow.” Impulsively, I reach out and squeeze her hand again. “You want to come eat lunch? It’s like a constant sushi buffet around here. Lots of raw, fresh fish.”

Lauren is slow to follow me, though, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why. T’chai glares at Lauren from nearby, and Lauren’s new mate moves to her other side protectively. “I’m not sure we’re welcome, Mari. They don’t seem thrilled to see us.”

I glance back at my mate. “That’s just T’chai. Ignore him. He follows me like an angry puppy ever since we resonated.”

Well, today he’s angry because I’m talking to Lauren. And earlier he was angry because S’bren gave me some food. But otherwise…he’s pretty sweet. I immediately feel guilty for calling him an “angry puppy,” but it’s not like he could hear me, anyhow.

“So you resonated to him.” She looks over at my mate and then back at me. “Are you…happy?”

“I’ll be happy once we get off this death trap of an island,” I tell her, leading her toward the others in the tribe. They don’t look happy, like Lauren said, but I don’t give a shit. This is my friend and we need to be gracious hosts while they visit…because I don’t want Lauren to leave. I don’t care if she and her weird four-armed mate have to stay in the same hut as me and T’chai, but I don’t want her leaving. I’m too happy that she’s back.

M’tok steps forward, his spear in hand, and spits something unpleasant sounding at Lauren and her mate. K’thar responds with an equally surly syllable, and then suddenly everyone is bristling.

Lauren and I exchange a worried look.

An argument breaks out. To my surprise, it’s R’jaal who picks the fight, snapping something at K’thar as the other male steps forward. T’chai suddenly is in front of me, his hands blocking me from Lauren and K’thar, and he calls out something, too. It’s like suddenly everyone is jumping into the fight.

“What’s going on?” I whisper over to Lauren.

She stares, shaking her head, and I can tell she has no idea. Her mouth opens as if she’s going to answer me—

A shadow flies overhead, momentarily darkening the sands.

8

MARI

A t first, I don’t know what’s happening. It gets dark for just a flash, and then suddenly I’m on the ground, with T’chai’s big body covering mine. I spit out sand, stunned and breathless, and then his big arms push me down when I try to sit up. It takes a moment for me to realize that he’s camouflaged, his color the exact same shade as the sand on the ground, and when he covers my arms, it’s dizzying to watch my skin “disappear.” Why is he camouflaging? Why did he tackle me? Why—

A monster screams nearby.

It’s like something out of a horror movie. The roar is impossibly loud and terrifying, and like any good idiotic horror movie heroine, I scream the moment I hear it.

T’chai presses me down into the sand, and he whispers my name in my ear. His fingers lightly stroke my skin even as he pins me underneath him, his big body so heavy that it steals the breath from my lungs. His head presses down against mine, and I bite back a small whimper of distress, because I don’t entirely understand what’s happening.

Then, the monster screams again, and an enormous body thumps onto the ground nearby, spraying sand all over us.

I freeze, staring in horror. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen. As a child, I always thought it would be amazing to see a dinosaur come to life, but now that I’m looking at one, I just want it to go away. The creature that stands not twenty feet from us looks like an oversized pterosaur, with a long, nasty beak full of jagged-looking teeth, and beady eyes that shine khui blue. It folds up mottled brown wings and hunches over, nosing at the sand as it waddles forward. It has to be bigger than an elephant, this creature, and as I watch it move forward a step or two, I notice that S’bren is on the ground nearby, camouflaged, and far too close to the creature.

Oh god.

It noses at the sand, spraying it along the beach with a vicious twist of its head, and I choke back another scream of terror.

The thing looks over at me. It hunches its shoulders, as if it’s about to spring into action—

Something sand-colored bellows and jumps on its neck. I gasp, seeing four arms—and four knives—flailing and realize that Lauren’s alien is the one attacking it. S’bren springs up from the sand, too, surging forward to attack the monstrous bird.

“M’rsl,” T’chai says, and then he’s dragging me to my feet. He takes me by the hand and hauls me up, gesturing at the huts, a short distance away from the beach. I hesitate, because Lauren needs to come with us, and T’chai gives me another impatient tug.

“But Lauren,” I murmur, gesturing at my friend.

He nods and indicates I should go with him first. All right, then. “Okay—”

That’s the only word I can get out before he shoves me aside. I sit up, stunned, and scream again as a second monster-bird appears and shoves T’chai down into the sand.

There’s two of these hideous creatures, and one’s got my mate.

Horrified, I watch as T’chai struggles to get up, and the thing lands on his back. Huge, black claws dig into his skin, and then bright crimson blood streaks across his camouflage. He groans, twisting, trying to get out from under the feet that have him pinned. It just makes it worse, though. As another scream rips from my throat, I watch as the thing flips T’chai over onto his belly and tears him open.

All the while, I stand there, screaming like a helpless idiot.

“Shoo!” Lauren’s suddenly at my side, and she flings a handful of sand at the creature tearing my mate apart.

Right. I can do more than just scream. I have to. I can’t just watch it destroy T’chai. I grab a handful of sand, too, and fling it as hard as I can. “Go away!” I choke.

The thing turns away from my mate that it’s shredding and hisses at us, snapping its awful jaws. I grab another sandy handful, sobbing, and Lauren grabs me and hauls me backward. “Run, Mari! To the trees!”

I try to ignore her pulling at me, because I need to help T’chai. I can’t leave him there. There’s so much blood, and he’s not moving. He doesn’t even get up when K’thar and R’jaal both jump onto the creature and it staggers a few feet away.

“We’ll be safe there,” Lauren cries, yanking on my arm as she points at the trees behind us.

Is she fucking crazy? “I’m not leaving T’chai!” I surge forward even as K’thar stabs the monster-bird in the eye with one of his knives. It looks busy, and that means I can get to my mate.

Lauren grabs at me again, holding me back, and her fingers dig into my skin. She’s surprisingly strong and I can’t shake her free. “You can help him more if you’re alive!”

Leave him? Turn and run? She drags me backward another foot, just as T’chai’s hand twitches feebly in the sand.

He needs me.

Lauren tugs at me again.

I turn and slap her as hard as I can. “NO!”

She reels, but she doesn’t let go, and as I strain against her grip, T’chai lifts his head. His trembling hand moves, and he points at the same trees that Lauren’s dragging me toward.

Fuck!

Sobbing, I let Lauren drag me away, though every step feels like betrayal.

I can’t stop crying as we move to the tree line, because I feel like I’m leaving my mate to die. The horrible bird screams again, and I can’t watch. I bury my face in my hands and weep, because I’ve lost him. I just found T’chai, and this world is going to take him from me. It’s not even from a volcano…it’s from a mutant killer bird.

Lauren makes a sound in her throat, one of relief. I look up from my hysterical crying as she staggers toward her blood-and-sand-spattered mate and hugs him tight.

T’chai.

I ignore that everyone wanted us to stay by the trees. I race back out onto the sand, half-stumbling in my haste, and look for T’chai. The beach is covered in blood, and for a moment, I can’t find him. My panic increases, and then I remember he camouflaged, and I force myself to calm for a moment, to look for dark hair and horns…and I find it next to the largest pool of blood on the beach.

His name rips from my throat as I move toward him. “T’chai!”

I pass the dead corpse of one of the creatures, and one of the aliens is limping nearby, but my thoughts are only for my mate, who lies so still in the sands.

“T’chai!” I cry his name again, falling to my knees next to him. “Talk to me!”

My mate twitches and tries to prop himself up on his arms. He’s still face down in the sands, and there’s so much blood that it worries me. I brush his hair back from his face and my cootie starts up. Now, of all times. It’s idiotic, but I’m thrilled when I hear his thrum in response.

It means he’s not dead.

“M’rsl,” he grits out, opening his eyes to look at me. He’s beautiful in that moment, and I smile at him, fighting back another sob.

“Hi,” I whisper. “Are you okay?”

His arm presses to his abdomen, and then he tries to roll onto his side. As he does, something wet slides from his belly…and I realize it’s his intestines.

“Oh no,” I moan. “Oh, no no no.” He’s trying to hold them into his body…and failing. Sand is getting everywhere on his wounds, and there’s so much blood. He twitches, clearly trying to get up, and blood bubbles from his mouth.

“M’rsl,” he murmurs again, and lets go of his gut wound to reach for my face.

He’s trying to comfort me while his guts are spilling out onto the beach.

My heart hurts, even as my cootie purrs and purrs.

A strange sense of calm washes over me, powered by shame. I’ve wailed and wept like La Llorona through this entire crisis, and T’chai’s falling apart in front of me…and his only thought is to comfort me? I need to do better. I shake my head and press my hands to his stomach, trying to staunch the bleeding.

“It’s okay,” I whisper to my mate. “I’ve got you now.”

9

MARI

I t’s a long night.

Every few minutes, I’m convinced that T’chai’s going to die. He grips my hand tightly as we move him into our hut and set him gently down on the bed. Someone brings water, and I begin the arduous task of bathing his wounds. R’jaal helps, and when we’ve washed most of the grit away, he begins to sew up the long, deep gashes as T’chai holds my hand and watches my face with glassy eyes.

All the while, my cootie purrs to his.

I hold his hand tightly, smiling at him. Calm. I don’t want the last thing he sees to be my snotty crying face, so I’m cool and collected. I help R’jaal and take over with the sewing when his hands shake. Once the worst is bandaged with leather and clean leaves, I bathe the blood away from T’chai’s skin and whisper small things to him.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” I lie. “You’re going to be just fine.”

It’s not like he can understand me anyhow.

Lauren appears, and I can tell from the tension on her face that T’chai looks like a dying man. Of course he does. R’jaal held his guts earlier and carefully eased them back into place in his abdomen after I washed the sand off of them. Who lives through that? But Lauren mumbles something about how the other tribe—the one of four armed aliens—is going to come and help out because of the injuries here. Her mate went to go get them.

That’s nice, I guess. I find I don’t care about anything other than T’chai.

I don’t leave his side for an instant. I’m afraid that if I do, that’ll be the moment that he breathes his last. I don’t sleep, either. Instead, I keep waiting. Waiting for the moment I become an alien’s widow.

But morning comes and T’chai lives.

I bathe his wounds as he lies unconscious, wishing we had some sort of antibiotic here. Even if we did, has he lost too much blood? His eyes are sunken and he’s pale under his blue coloring. His lips are chapped and the small moments that he wakes up, he won’t eat or drink. He just holds my hands and murmurs words I don’t understand, and they feel stolen from me.

The day passes. The sunlight fades into night, and I hear the others arrive in the camp. I hear M’tok arguing with someone, and S’bren talking, and a baby cry. I hear Lauren’s voice, but I don’t leave T’chai’s side.

He lives through the night. And on through the next day.

And the next.

I don’t know how.

I exist only to stay at his side and support him, to help take care of him. R’jaal helps me force fish broth and dribbles of water down his throat. Lauren helps me wash his wounds and tells me all about a raft that the aliens are building so we can leave the island. I nod and listen, but in reality, it doesn’t matter. I can’t think beyond T’chai drawing the next breath.

Somehow, a week passes and he doesn’t die. I feel hollow and thin, strung out and helpless. My cootie’s stopped humming to his for long stretches of time, and when it does, it no longer feels good. Now, when it hums, it makes me ache all over. It makes me feel like a rubber band that’s been pulled too tight for too long, and I’m waiting to snap in half. I know it’s bothering him, too, because sometimes when his khui begins to resonate, he grimaces, even when unconscious.

If he had enough energy to get hard, I’d ride him until he got me pregnant, just so the resonance could stop torturing us both. But he needs every bit of energy just to survive.

Because…he’s not getting better.

He’s not dying, but there’s still something terribly wrong. His wounds have crusted over and are red around the edges, and his veins are dark as even his blood is polluted. His face grows thinner and more emaciated, and his ribs are so prominent that I count them all at night when I can’t sleep. It hurts me to look at him…and it hurts me to look away. I sleep at his side, my fingers laced with his, listening as his breathing rasps shallowly and he struggles to make his lungs work.

In moments like this, I love him so much and I hate him because he’s in so much pain and he still won’t die. I don’t want him to die, but sometimes he hurts so much—and I do, too, thanks to resonance—that I wish it would just happen so he could move on. No one should be in this much pain for this long. But T’chai barely hangs on, floating in and out of consciousness, and it’s destroying us both.

“Live,” I whisper. “Wake up better tomorrow.” I touch his thin, sallow face. “Tomorrow, your fever will be gone, yes?”

But the next day, he’s just as bad as ever. He burns with a fever and his belly is hard and swollen, and I want to scream. I thought the khui was supposed to take care of fevers? I thought it would help him heal?

There are no answers, though, and no relief for my poor T’chai.

ANOTHER WEEK PASSES, and then another. T’chai looks withered in his bed now. He was so strong, and now he looks like a shadow of himself. I’m exhausted and barely hanging on myself. Now, when my khui hums with resonance, it hums alone. T’chai’s no longer resonates to mine.

That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped aching, though.

I still cling to my mate, holding his hand tightly as he’s loaded onto one of the rafts. The earthquakes have gotten worse and we’re escaping this place. I don’t point out that we don’t know if we’re going in the right direction, or even if there’s land to head to. All we know is that we can’t stay here.

I rest my head on T’chai’s chest as S’bren and M’tok and R’jaal paddle the raft that feels far too small to carry so many people. In front of us, Lauren rides with the four-armed aliens, and I’ve been so wrapped up with T’chai that I haven’t even learned their names. She holds the baby as the others paddle, and casts worried looks back at me now and then. Behind us is the raft filled with the third tribe—four aliens I haven’t bothered to meet at all.

They don’t matter. No one matters but my T’chai.

He falls unconscious the moment we leave the island’s steamy shores, and by the time we’ve been on the rafts for a few hours, the temperature has dropped enough that my breath fogs in front of my face and S’bren exclaims, rubbing his arms. Everyone piles on leathers and stuff waxy leaves into the gaps of their clothing to try and keep out the cold. I shrug on a covering that R’jaal gives me, but I just curl up next to T’chai, who burns with fever and shivers at the same time.

For three days, he’s unconscious, and it feels like I’m finally losing him.

“I’m not ready,” I whisper to him, letting my icy tears wet his chest. “I’m not ready. Don’t leave me here alone. I’ve already lost too much.”

For a moment—the barest moment—I feel his hand stroke my hair, and I smile.

THE JOURNEY SEEMS to go on forever, and the entire island’s trying to kill us. Creatures from the water attack the rafts. The air’s bitterly cold and it snows on us, and we all have to huddle close to T’chai for warmth. We’re exhausted and hungry and…then the island explodes, just as I thought it would.

The sound is deafening, and my ears ring so loudly that I’m unable to hear anyone speak for the next few hours. The volcanic explosion sends out a tidal wave that nearly capsizes our convoy of rafts, and I hold tightly to T’chai even as I cling to the others so I don’t fall over the side. By the time it grows dark, ash is falling, mixed with the snow, and it feels as if the world is ending around us.

Lauren says something up ahead, but I don’t look up. I just move closer to T’chai, who still sleeps, and I wish I could hear his khui purr to mine again. At least if his cootie sang, I’d know he’s still with me. It’s silent, and the silence hurts me. Lauren’s voice turns more excited, but my ears are still ringing and everything she says sounds muffled, like she’s far, far away.

Then R’jaal says something, too, and he sounds excited.

Dully, I sit up, and as I do, I see the shore nearby.

I see snow-capped, jagged mountains. I see the lights of fires. I see people at those fires.

R’jaal looks over at S’bren and M’tok, and there’s a hint of wonder in his voice as he speaks. I don’t know what he says, but my brain imagines it as something like “We’re saved.”

Except…this is no better for T’chai, because there are no doctors. He’s going to die on a cold shore instead of a hot one, now.

10

MARI

I  remain on the raft, holding T’chai’s hand as Lauren takes R’jaal and her mate K’thar to meet the others. There are hums of excitement through the group that stays with the rafts, but I don’t feel it. T’chai still lies unconscious, his breathing rapid and miserable. His skin burns up with fever, and I’ve never felt so helpless in my life.

I’d give anything to be a doctor right now. I should have gone to medical school instead of fucking off with my friends, taking time off after high school, and then getting a full-time job to pay the bills instead of going to college. I should have gone to nursing school instead of working tech support. I just want to know something—anything—that could help T’chai.

I press another miserable kiss to his knuckles, hating how bony they are now. He’s little more than sinew and skin at this point.

Footsteps crunch on the shore, and a cluster of newcomers appear with torches. I see golden gleaming skin, and then Veronica—mousy, clumsy Veronica—sits down next to me. She looks different than I remember her. Stronger. Braver. More.

She studies T’chai and then looks over at me. “I heard he’s sick.”

No shit, I want to say. I want to lash out at how healthy she looks, how plump-cheeked and happy despite the somber expression on her face. “He’s dying.”

And he’s going to leave me all alone here.

She spreads her hands, palm up. “I can help, Mari. I can heal.”

A treacherous sliver of hope enters my heart. “What do you mean, you can heal?”

“Kinda like a faith healer? Except it works through my khui.” She wiggles her fingers. “I put my hands on someone and I can feel what’s wrong, and…I can guide the khui to help fix it.”

I lick my dry lips. “Like a curandera?”

“I don’t know what that is.”

I shake my head. It’s not important. I remember my abuelo talking about the curandera in their village, a local woman that everyone knew had “hot hands.” She would rub them together, and then place them on the body part that hurt, and you would get better. I always thought my grandfather was a bit superstitious, but maybe there’s something like that here. “Don’t worry about it. You can help him?”

“I think I can.” Her gaze meets mine. “I don’t want to impose but…can I try?”

Impose? Impose? A hysterical laugh bubbles up in my throat. “If you can heal him, you can impose all you want.”

She flashes a smile at me and then reaches out and gently touches T’chai’s other hand. Just as quickly, she pulls back again, and looks over at her mate. They say nothing, but some sort of communication seems to pass through them. The big golden man nods and steps forward. “We will take him back to our hut,” he says when I make a protesting sound and flatten myself atop T’chai. “He’s going to need more healing than she can do here on the raft.” He looks over at the others and barks a few words at S’bren and M’tok.

To my surprise, they answer him. They can understand the strange tribe’s language. I’m oddly jealous as I watch the three alien men carefully gather T’chai and carry him to shore.

I get to my feet, my legs cramping and weak. Veronica moves to my side, supporting my arm. “You don’t look so good, either.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “It’s been a hell of a time.”

“Then lean on me. I’ll fix you both up and you’ll be right as rain.”

She smiles, but somehow I doubt her words. Sometimes it feels like everything will never be right again.

The walk up to Veronica’s hut feels eternal. I know it’s just a short path from the shore to the hut itself. I can see it from the shoreline. The once-empty beach is now crowded with tents and cookfires, and it almost looks cozy. Up the sloping, pebble-strewn beach, there’s a cluster of huts at the top of a hill and Veronica’s is there. Any other time it’d be a short jaunt, barely something to think about. But because I’m so exhausted, it’s endless. I feel as if I’ve hit the last vestiges of my energy as she pulls back the flap on the tent and leaves my side to direct the others as they carry T’chai in. My mate is so still it’s alarming, and he hasn’t woken in what feels like forever.

I miss him.

It’s stupid to miss someone I haven’t even had a real conversation with…and yet, I do. I need him to get better. Not just because of resonance, but because I feel connected to him on several levels. I miss his smile. I miss lying next to him at night. I miss the touch of his hand. For the last month, even though he’s been deathly ill, he’s been with me, even if it’s just a little every day. Ever since we left the island, though, he’s been gone.

I worry I haven’t gotten the chance to say goodbye, and it feels like a hollow ache in my chest. He’s supposed to be my soulmate. My other half. My media naranja. What do I do if he leaves me behind?

The moment T’chai is gently laid down in the furs, Veronica is next to him. She puts her hands on his chest, biting her lip as she concentrates. I settle in next to her, trying to ignore the hushed conversation that R’jaal and the others are having with Veronica’s big golden mate. T’chai’s the only thing I care about right now, and I can’t understand them anyhow. They’re just a distraction. So I watch my friend intently, wondering if there’s any way to tell from her expression if T’chai’s going to live…or if we’ve just carried him all this way for nothing.

Suddenly, I want to reach over and grab his hand, but I’m afraid of interrupting. I ignore the twitching of my own hands and play with the edge of the fur I’m wearing. Wake up, I silently chant. Wake up and get better, T’chai.

Wake up for me.

Please.

Veronica is utterly still for so long that I start to get nervous. Her face is pale and her hands occasionally flex on T’chai’s chest, but other than that, she doesn’t move. I look over at Ashtar, but he doesn’t seem concerned. He watches his mate and sends R’jaal and the others on their way.

“Mmm,” Veronica murmurs after a while, at the same time that my cootie begins its frantic, hungry purring.

I rub my chest, trying to ignore the sensations flooding through me. Resonance felt good at first. Now, it just feels…awful. It’s like I’ve tipped over from good sensations over to terrible ones, like an unfulfilled orgasm that goes on for far too long and leaves your entire body over-sensitive. Or a full-body toothache. It’s just not fun. In fact, it’s miserable. But I’ll gladly put up with the misery because it means that T’chai is alive. As long as I resonate, he’s still holding on.

T’chai’s cootie reacts to mine, starting up its song, and I reach over and hold his hand. He’s all skin and bones now, nothing but knuckles and too-thin fingers attached to a pale blue hand. I want to cry at how prominent his veins are, and just quietly kiss them instead. “I’m here.”

He just groans in pain, his entire body shivering with the strength of his resonance.

Veronica presses her fingers to her lips, thinking. “This is a problem.”

“What is?” I look over at her, cradling his fragile hand to my chest. Her words are scaring me. Five minutes ago we were at “I can heal him” and we’ve moved to “this is a problem”? That’s not good.

She looks over at me. “The resonance. His khui is exhausted. When I reach out for it…it’s got nothing left in the tank.” Her lips purse and she reaches out and touches my hand, her eyes going unfocused. She’s quiet for a long moment, and then Veronica blinks. “Yours is wiped out, too. How long have you guys been resonating?”

I lick my dry lips. “Weeks now. Maybe…a month?” It might be longer, or shorter. I’ve lost all track of time at this point. “We had sex, but I guess it didn’t work?”

“Not everyone gets pregnant on their first round of sex, no matter how fertile.” Veronica’s mouth flattens into a thin line and she glances over at her mate.

“What?” I ask. “What is it? What’s wrong?” I want to clutch T’chai’s hand tighter, but I’m afraid of breaking him.

“I can’t do this while you’re both resonating.” She presses both her hands to her forehead, stressed. “It’s distracting his khui and I can’t coax it into healing him because all it wants is for you both to procreate.”

I look over at my emaciated, deathly ill mate. There’s no way he can have sex. Just watching him makes me exhausted. Every breath is labored. If I’m exhausted from the incessant need of resonance, I can’t imagine how he feels. “He can’t.”

“I know he can’t.”

“You have to help him heal,” I say, panicking. “You promised!” Hot tears spill down my cheeks as I gently hold his hand to my lips. His skin, once so soft, feels dry like paper, and twice as hot. “Don’t give me hope and take it away again.”

“I’m thinking, I’m thinking,” Veronica says. She hugs her arms to her chest and goes quiet for a long, long while. The air feels heavy, and Ashtar moves over to her side, rubbing her shoulders. It’s almost like there’s some sort of silent communication between them, but I don’t hear a thing. I watch Veronica anxiously and wait for an answer. Eventually, she speaks, her words hesitant. “I can…try to turn it off.”

“Turn it off?” I echo numbly.

“Yeah. Basically I can trick your khui into not recognizing his again. Into thinking his is dead. I trick his to do the same thing, and then I can refocus it on healing him.” Veronica gives me an uneasy look. “I just don’t know what will happen if we do that. I’m not sure if I can turn it back on, or even if it will work. I just know this…”—she gestures at T’chai in the bed—“isn’t working.”

It’s not even a consideration for me. Bet the future against the present, when T’chai is suffering right now? When he might not live through the night? I don’t even hesitate. “Do whatever you have to do to save him.”

“Are you sure? Think about it—I might be preventing you from having babies—”

I shake my head, cutting her off. “You have to save him. Nothing else matters.”

“I might not be able to turn it back on—”

“It won’t matter if he’s dead,” I say thickly, tears clogging my throat. “If he lives, I don’t care about anything else.” I press another gentle kiss to his bony knuckles. “Please, Veronica. Save my mate.”

She looks up at her mate and then sighs heavily. Then she puts her hands out to me, palm up. “I’m going to turn yours off first, just in case it strains the khui.”

I want to tell her to work on T’chai first, that he needs her healing far more in this moment than I do, but she knows best. If she thinks it’ll put a strain on T’chai, then I absolutely want her to test this out on me first. I don’t want to risk him for anything—he’s gone through enough. So I set his hand back down oh-so carefully on the furs. I put my hands in hers and close my eyes, waiting.

“Just relax,” Veronica murmurs.

I don’t know if I can relax, so I think about T’chai. I think about the smile he made when we first resonated, as if he’d been given the world’s greatest gift. I think about him grimacing as he ate the fish head, the rueful expression on his face. I think about how he looked when we first kissed. His sleepy expression when he was feeling relaxed and drowsy. His proud stance as he fished, his tail utterly still, back straight…and those two fascinating dimples that showed up just above his backside when he did.

I think of the beautiful sound of his laugh. Of the tender expression on his face as he changed camouflage colors to match my skin.

I think of the way he looked at me as we made love.

I think of the determined, resigned expression on his face as the sky-claw attacked him. He didn’t expect to live. He wanted to give his life to keep mine safe.

I can turn off resonance for that man.

So I remain calm and float in the darkness, waiting to feel it. Waiting to feel…something. Some sort of tearing, or a feeling of loss.

“I think that’s it.”

Veronica’s voice sounds as if it comes from very far away. I slowly open my eyes, and as I do, I notice the room is quiet. My fingers tingle with blood flow, but I no longer ache all over. I don’t have that awful, nervous edge eating at me.

And my cootie is completely and utterly silent. I touch my chest, because there’s no vibration there at all.

“How do you feel?” Veronica asks, her brows drawn together. “Okay?”

I shrug. I feel…I don’t know. I don’t feel like much of anything, if I’m being honest with myself. I’m not upset. I’m not worried. I’m not even exhausted. I’m just kind of…there. “I think I’m fine?”

As fine as I can be.

She smiles brightly. “That’s a good sign. Okay. Now let’s get T’chai’s to relax and then the healing can begin.”

I rub my chest as she puts her hands on T’chai’s sunken chest. His scars are livid against his blue skin, Frankenstein slashes that show just how badly R’jaal and I stitched him up. It’s amazing he’s lived for so long.

T’chai’s hand twitches on the furs, and I reach for it out of habit. The moment I do, I feel…strange. His touch doesn’t feel dear to me; it’s off-putting. I notice the irritating rasp of calluses and how he’s too warm. His scent bothers me. In fact, all of it bothers me.

Which is odd. It’s kind of like touching velvet the wrong way. It’s not bad, just…unpleasant. I want to put down his hand, but I don’t.

I watch as Veronica’s face tightens and T’chai’s khui gives a dramatic, hard sound, almost as if in protest. It’s an upsetting sound, or at least, I think it should be. But I just feel very detached from it, and when it goes quiet, I feel relieved.

It’ll all be worth it, I tell myself, if he lives.

If T’chai lives, he can heal up and we can start over. The important thing is that he lives. Nothing else matters.

11

Months Later

T’CHAI

Even though wood is now growing scarce on this side of the world, I have kept a large, heavy chunk. It is made from a three-leaf tree, one that I passed many times when I walked the trails near my home. It still smells like the warm island, with its muggy air and permanently damp soil. That is not why I keep it, though. I lift the arm-length hunk of wood and then slowly, carefully, lift it over my head. I lower it again, and then lift it once more, feeling my muscles pull as I do. My joints feel tight and do not move like they used to, but every day, they get better. My long recovery has changed my body. There are now scars all over my chest and stomach, and my limbs had shrunk down to wasted shadows of their former selves.

So I practice moving and stretching every day. A'tar—the dragon one—gives me suggestions on strength-building exercises, and I do them faithfully. Sweat drips from my brow as I lift and lower the heavy wood, over and over again. When I tremble all over with exhaustion, I set it down, hands on hips, and take deep breaths to recover, pacing in my hut. I flex my arm, studying my muscles. I am vain enough that I like that I no longer have skinny, wiry limbs. With the plentiful food here in this cold land, there are many different kinds of meats and foods to eat, and there is no rationing. My once-wiry body has filled out to stronger bulk, but it is not perfect. Not yet.

I run a hand down my flat abdomen and wonder if M'rsl appreciates the way I look now.

Mari, I remind myself. She prefers Mah-ree, not Mah-ree-sowl or the respectful slurring of names that my people do. I push aside the flap that separates her half of the hut from my half of the hut, but her heavy, warm wraps are still in place. She is somewhere nearby, then. If she had gone hunting, she would have bundled up. I can guess where she is, and the thought fills me with a sense of jealousy that she prefers to spend her time with others instead of me.

Then again, nothing has been right between us since we landed on this cold shore. I am disappointed, but not surprised.

"T'chai! Brother!" S'bren's booming voice calls from outside the hut.

I move to the front entrance of our hut—a spacious place made from driftwood from our old island home and a peaked roof made from skins. It is very different from my last home, right down to the wooden platform that keeps us off the cold sands. The moment I step outside of my hut and onto the platform, the breeze hits me, making the sweat on my chest feel like ice. I shudder, wiping at my skin. I will never get used to this cold, frozen air, so different from my home. It has been another thing to adjust to—the loss of everything I knew and this strange, forbidding new land that has plenty of food but very little heat.

It is an improvement from the starvation we faced on the island, but sometimes I miss being able to walk around completely naked and enjoying the warmth the smoking mountain poured forth. I cross my arms over my chest and look around for S'bren. He stands nearby with his mate, a round-cheeked, round-figured human female with a pale mane and a cheery attitude. Both of them are wearing light layers of leathers, and in the distance, I can see others gathered on the beach.

"The games begin this morning," S'bren tells me excitedly. "Are you joining in? Come with me and P'nee and we will cheer you on since I cannot play."

I glance down the shore. "Is Mari there? Does she wish to win a knife?"

S'bren and his mate exchange looks. "M'rsl is in M'dok's cave, helping out."

I grunt. I knew this. It is where she always is, unless someone needs her elsewhere. "Then no, I am not playing."

"You should," S'bren says. His broad face is full of enthusiasm. "There will be games of foot and balls—"

"Football," P'nee corrects with a giggle.

"And marching madness—"

"It's a March Madness bracket," she interrupts again, smiling. "Multiple elimination. Everyone will get more than one chance."

"And you are bigger than you ever were before," S'bren adds. "Surely that will help."

I shake my head, rubbing my arms. My muscles feel sore after my work with lifting the heavy weight of the wood, but it is a good sort of sore. Every day I feel a little more like myself…but I am not quite there. "I have no wish to win."

"Not even one of the special blades?" S'bren is aghast. "The ones that do not need sharpening?"

"And if I win? And drop it in the snow? Everyone will comment on how it should not be given to T'chai, who is not the hunter he used to be." I shrug, flexing my hand. It is something I have thought of a lot. I am better all the time…but I am still not quite whole. Sometimes my leg grows weak and I lose my balance. Sometimes my hand feels tight in the morning. V'ronca says it is because the khui takes its time to repair all the damage done, and I believe her. I remember those terrible moments after the attack, when I tried to stand and could not because my body would not work. This will take time. So I smile at my happy clan-brother and his mate. "Let the others fight over it. It will be more use to them."

S'bren doesn't seem pleased by this, though. "M'tok and I both are forbidden from joining the games." He glances over at his mate, no doubt thinking about the anger he caused when they stole their females. "But R'jaal is joining. You should, too—win the knife for all of Tall Horn."

"I am more interested in spending time with my mate."

The other male's eyes light up. "Oh, you mean…time?" He makes a gesture with his hand, as if petting something, and gives me a goofy grin. "Mating time? Are you and M'rsl back to good, then?"

I am silent. I wish we were having mating time.

"Ew, S'bren. Nosy much, babe?" P'nee lightly slaps at his arm and shakes her head. "Leave the poor man alone."

My jaw clenches. Now I am a poor man because everyone knows M'rsl and I are not…good.

Mari. Her name is Mari. It is just another thing that changed the moment we got here.

S'bren casts a worried look in my direction and then pulls his mate close. He whispers something to her, and they kiss and rub noses, and then she waves goodbye to me. "I'm going to go and watch the others get set up. Tell Mari I said hello."

She walks away and S'bren remains behind, a concerned expression on his face. When his mate is far enough away, he approaches me. "My friend, do you need to talk?"

I scoff. "What is there to talk about?" And why does everyone assume I have no idea of what I am doing with my mate?

"It is just that…I make my P'nee happy. I thought perhaps I could help you make M'rsl happy, too."

My irritation grows. S'bren is younger than me. He is only recently mated to P'nee and had to steal her away. I have been mated to M'rsl—Mari—for months now. It is not my fault that so many things have happened that have prevented us from settling into each other. "I have no wish to speak of this."

S'bren ignores my request. "When P'nee is mad at me, I distract her with kisses. It takes her focus off of the things that make her angry. She likes kissing." He gives me a proud look, as if he is the first one to discover kissing.

I think of those brief moments I had with my mate back in my old hut. Of my female in my lap, riding my hand. Of her soft smile as she kissed me, and the way she gasped when I touched her teats. Of the way she felt when I sank into her tight channel…it has been far too long since we have touched, and I am left with a miserable ache. "S'bren, truly—"

"A mate that is happy in the furs will be happy out of them," he says, as if he is one of the elders, passing out wisdom.

"I know this!"

"But M'rsl does not seem happy," S'bren points out, and it strikes me like a blow. "Are you sure you mate her properly? Make sure that she comes? I know we had no experience back on the island. It is why I bring these things up."

"I know how to pleasure my mate," I snap at him, arms crossed. It is just that…she does not want me to touch her. I do not share this with S'bren, though. I do not want anyone to know the shame of it—that my resonance mate can no longer stand my touch.

S'bren has never been one to understand subtle cues, though. He continues on, a helpful expression on his face. "Oh, I have a new move that makes P'nee wild. I growl against her clit and it makes her thrash like a fish caught in a net. I have never seen anything like it before. You should try it." He straightens, all proud male, and points a finger at me, enunciating his words. "Like a fish. In. A. Net."

"Her what?"

"Her clit?" He gestures between his thighs. "The little bud on her cunt?" When I frown in his direction, he gets an astonished look on his face. "You have not played with her clit? I think I am starting to see why M'rsl is so unhappy—"

I give him a light shove. "Get out of here. Go give your advice to your brother. He was yelling at his mate earlier."

"She was yelling at him. And then they made up very, very loudly," S'bren adds, completely unaware of my foul mood. "It is a thing they do. M'tok is M'tok, and C'lie gets mad, and then the next thing I know, they are mating so loud they are shaking my hut next door."

I run a hand over my face. Must every word out of S'bren's mouth be about mating? "Go and join your mate, brother. Your advice has been very helpful."

He brightens. S'bren moves to my side and claps my shoulder. "I am here to help."

Shrugging his hand away, I return to the interior of my hut as he leaves, and my thoughts are turbulent. I cannot help but think of his words. How everyone knows M'rsl is unhappy. How P'nee thrashes like a fish in a net when S'bren touches her.

A clit. A tiny bud on her cunt. How have I not seen this before? I rub my jaw, thinking hard. Is this problem between M'rsl—MARI—and myself because I am not pleasuring her properly in the furs?

Am I a bad mate after all?

12

T'CHAI

I  go to find my mate.

The entire camp is busy with excitement, several of the females and Shadow Cat clan clustered around a spot on the beach. I see N'dek with his tall, slender mate as they pick up dead things on the shore and study them. He will join in the games, I think, his balance stronger now that he has his false leg to support him. I flex my bad hand again, wondering if I will need a false hand to replace mine over time, if the tendons continue to tighten and I cannot grip small things properly. So many things have changed with my body.

I would sacrifice myself a hundred times again if it would save my mate. I should not even worry over such things.

I raise a hand in greeting as others walk past. There is Shail, with Z'hren in her arms. She rocks him as she stirs a pot of food over the fire, chatting with another female. All of Strong Arm has settled in so easily here on this cold beach, I realize as I walk past. L'ren and K'thar are with the others for the “marching madness,” and J'shel sits on a rock while his mate weaves his long braid for him by the fire. N'dek is on the shore, and Z'hren has a new mother. Shadow Cat clan has been less lucky—not one of them has resonated as of yet, and I feel a small, spiteful surge of pride that at least some of Tall Horn have acquired mates. Both M'tok and S'bren recently resonated, and of course, there is myself and Mari.

I do not know if we count amongst the lucky.

I look for R'jaal, my friend and our leader, and the only one in our small clan who has not yet resonated. He is with the others on the beach, talking to a dark-maned female. I know his fondest hope is for a mate of his own. He is lonely, and I think of how excited he was when he found Mari, only for her to resonate to me.

Sometimes I wonder if my mate was unlucky to resonate to me, if she should have been R'jaal's instead…but the thought fills me with so much jealousy that I quickly staunch it.

Mari is mine. She will always be mine, khui song or not.

I find Mari in the work cave where M'dok obsesses over his projects. She sits alone near one of the strange artificial lights, a basket of small, sand-covered bits on a table in front of her. In the back of the cave, M'dok raises a hand in greeting to me. I nod and he turns back to his mate, who is carefully piecing something together, her tongue sticking out as she concentrates. I do not know what anything in this cave is or what it does, but it is important to Mari, and she spends a lot of her time here.

Far too much time, if it is up to me, but I never say so. It already feels as if Mari is drifting away from me. I do not want to give her excuses to drift further.

As I move to my mate's side, I watch as she carefully brushes grit off of a tiny metal square with a bit of fur. She examines her work, holding it up to the light, and then purses her lips to blow on it. I watch, hungry, and think of her soft mouth, and how she used to melt under my kisses. Now, our kisses are few and far between, and she never, ever melts.

Mari frowns, turning to look over her shoulder. Her expression brightens at the sight of me. "You're standing in the light, T'chai." She pats the empty stool next to her. "Come and sit."

I do, watching her work. I love hearing her talk, love the look of concentration on her delicate face. I sit down next to her, pulling my stool closer.

Her smile fades a little, and I notice she leans away. My heart sinks.

"We found another batch of parts this morning," Mari says in her soft voice. "They were buried in the sand, so they're filthy, but Mardok thinks he can get them to work. There's a lot to do and everyone's distracted by the games, so I thought I'd come and get a jump on things." She gently blows on the piece she's holding, her lips pursing. Then, she glances over at me. "Are you taking part in the games?"

"Not if you will not watch me."

"Oh." She pauses and looks over at M'dok, but the male is leaning close to his mate and I suspect they will not get much work done. "I'm not sure. There's so much that needs to be tackled—"

"Come and walk with me," I say, getting to my feet and holding my hand out. "We will walk for a bit and then I will leave you alone to work. This I promise."

I grit my teeth as she looks over at M'dok and F'rli.

"Please," I add.

Mari nods and then gets to her feet. She seems reluctant and sad, and more than anything, I want to see her smile again. She puts aside the parts she is working on and looks over at M'dok, but he is now kissing his mate and will not notice that Mari is gone.

Is everyone kissing this morning, I wonder, irritated.

She puts her hand in mine as we leave the cave together, and while I consider that a success, I also notice that her fingers barely touch mine. We touch less and less with every day that passes. Part of me understands it…but there is a larger, more stubborn part of me that hates it. I want my mate. I want what we had before it was stolen from us.

I want that so badly that I could scream with frustration.

We head out of the camp and down to the beach, where the ice-laden water rolls in with the tide. The waves here are so different from home. The sea itself is dark and forbidding, and the creatures here are brutal and unpleasant. I imagine they must be to survive on such an unfriendly shore. They are plentiful, at least, and good eating, but I know Mari gets scared of them. I walk along the water's edge with her on my far side, protecting her in case some brave creature sends out an exploratory tentacle.

She smiles over at me, her expression soft and sweet and achingly beautiful as she pushes her dark, curling mane back behind her ears. "Are you sure you don't want to join the games? I saw one of the knives up close and it seems really nice. Hunting and sharpening your tools all the time is a pain in the ass. One of those new blades would help you a lot."

Everyone has coveted the weapons since they were dropped on the shore by M'dok's friend from the skies. The food supplies were eaten within a day or two, but the metal knives have been kept aside deliberately, as prizes in a game since there are not enough to go around. "I would like a knife, yes, but the first time it falls out of my grasp during a hunt, Shadow Cat and Strong Arm will never cease to point out that it belongs in better hands." I flex my free hand absently, feeling the pull of too-tight tendons.

She makes a sound of irritation. "Then they're assholes."

I chuckle at her staunch defense. "Tools should be in the hands of those that can use them best. I do not know if I would be happy if our positions were reversed."

Mari nudges me with her elbow. "Don't be understanding. Be mad at them. If you want a knife, you should be able to join in the games. Do you want me to talk to Raahosh?" There is an utterly fierce expression on her face, as if she would take on the entire group to defend me.

Just seeing it makes me smile. "I do not need a knife. I have everything I could want." I turn to her and reach out to brush a lock of her mane away from her face.

Mari pulls away, an apologetic smile on her face.

And as quickly as my happiness appeared, it disappears once more. I watch as she paces ahead of me, her steps brisk. She crosses her arms over her chest and stares out at the water. I am disappointed, but I am not surprised. It has been like this between us since the accident. Before, we could not keep our hands off each other. Now she pulls away from my touch. I move to her side anyhow, but this time I do not reach for her hand.

"I'm sorry," Mari says quietly. "You know it's not you. It's just…" She rubs her arms again.

"I know." But my words are sharper than I would like, edged with hurt.

We fall silent, and eventually Mari glances over at me again. "I talked to Veronica this morning. I wanted her to try again." She shakes her head. "Still nothing. Whatever she did, she can't fix it." She looks over at me and her eyes are so, so sad. "I'm sorry, T'chai."

"Do not be sorry," I tell her fiercely. "You did nothing wrong."

"She asked me, and I said yes," Mari replies with a shake of her head. "I should have said no. I should have trusted your khui to pull you through—"

I reach out and take my mate in my arms, ignoring her flinch. "My khui knows you have my heart."

"Mine doesn't," she whispers.

"Then we will convince them ourselves. If they sang for us once, they will sing for us again." I am certain we can coax them again, given time. She just needs to trust me, to trust my khui. "We just need to try." I touch her cheeks, so cold due to the chilly breeze. "Come to my furs tonight?"

She hesitates, and then nods, giving me a smile. "Tonight."

MARI

God, I really want to talk to someone.

More than anything, I want to talk to T'chai—my other half—but this is the one topic we can't ever seem to agree on. Someone other than T'chai. After we finish our walk on the beach, I take my time heading back to the Ravenclaw cave, as Callie calls it. Working on cleaning the scavenged parts free of salt and grit usually helps me focus. It's a mindless stream of never-ending work, but I actually enjoy it because it lets me think about other things. Most days, Callie joins me, but I know today she's going to be watching the beach games. All of the tribe's going to be there, I think, and I'm not entirely surprised when I see Mardok has turned the lights off in the cave and put his tools away. No doubt they're going to watch the games, too.

I guess that means I should go, too, but something inside me is reluctant to do so. Maybe it's the fact that I don't feel like we belong, T'chai and I. We're “flawed” and I feel like we no longer fit in with the group. They all stare at us when we get together. One on one, I think the tribesfolk are great. But in a big group, everyone watches us and it makes me antsy.

It's like they're all waiting to hear us resonate again, and I know it won't happen.

I know that just as surely as I know how wrong my cootie feels in my chest. It hasn't felt like “mine” since Veronica turned it off. And I know her turning it off was my choice…

But it doesn't change the fact that it's fucked everything.

I see everyone gathering on the beach, and Lauren is there with the thick of them, her mate K'thar's weird-looking bird perched on her shoulder. Other than Callie, I'm closest to Lauren, but I don't want to pull her away from the fun. I guess I'll just stew silently…alone.

Farli races into the Ravenclaw cave and pauses at the sight of me. "Oh. I did not realize you wished to work this day, Mar-ee. The others are going to watch the games. You should come." She beams me a brilliant smile, all happiness and light. Farli is pure joy in human—or alien—form, and it's easy to see why Mardok adores her so. She's strong and capable but utterly sweet and always smiling. I envy her.

"I don't think I'll watch," I admit. "I think I'll just stay here…by myself."

"Alone?" She picks up her light fur wrap—probably the reason she returned—and pauses in the entrance to the cave. "Are you well, Mar-ee? You look unhappy."

I fight the urge to go and hide under the nearest table. God, am I going to do girl talk with Farli? Farli who poops rainbows and smiles sunshine? But I desperately want to talk to someone. "I have a problem, Farli," I blurt out, moving to my normal seat and collapsing there. "Everything's all wrong."

She immediately comes and sits beside me, and puts her fur cloak on my shoulders, tucking me in like one would a child. "Is it something I can help with? Speak it and I will do whatever it takes to make it right."

That's so…nice. I fight the urge to cry, because crying hasn't done any good, and I've cried a lot in the last few months. "I just…" I turn to her, scanning her strange alien face. Her features are more pronounced than T'chai's, her color darker. Her horns are different and she has the plated nose of the sa-khui. She's still beautiful, just very alien. "My khui is all wrong, Farli." The words come out in a whisper. "And no one can fix it."

She clucks her tongue in a motherly way, which is kind of hilarious given the fact that she's maybe twenty and younger than me. "Because the healer silenced it, yes?"

I nod, and then the tears come out anyhow, and I weep on her bony shoulder as I tell her about the terrible choice I made. That I could have left T'chai's distracted khui alone and hoped that it would heal him and risk his death, or have Veronica silence our resonance so his khui could focus on healing him. "He'd been so sick for weeks and weeks, Farli," I whimper, all snot and tears. "And I felt like I couldn't choose that. I had to help his khui, you know?"

"You chose what you thought was right." She rubs a soothing hand on my shoulders. "Vuh-ron-ca did, as well. You did not know you chose wrong."

I flinch. I don't think Farli meant it like that, but she's right. I didn't know it was going to turn out like this, or maybe I would have rolled the dice. Actually…no, I wouldn't have. My sex life with my mate isn't worth chancing his death. "And now that it's turned off, Veronica can't turn it back on. She's tried and tried, but my cootie just ignores her."

"A khui is a strong-minded thing," Farli says gently. "And Vuh-ron-ca is young in her powers. Maylak took many turns of the seasons before she felt strong in her abilities. Your human healer will grow stronger with her abilities. Give it time."

Maybe she's right. Maybe I just need to give Veronica time. There's no sense in me pestering her constantly about it. It just makes us both feel awful, and then Veronica cries, and then I spend my time comforting her when really, I want someone to comfort me. I swipe at the tears on my face, letting out a shuddery sigh. "My khui has changed, though, Farli. It…doesn't like T'chai's anymore. Not only does it not sing to him, but…when he touches me, it feels…wrong." I shiver. "Bad. Like my khui's telling me no." I hesitate. "It makes things difficult between us."

Difficult? I should have said “impossible.” It's impossible to like sex when every touch your mate gives you feels like it's making your skin crawl. When you can't get aroused no matter what you do because your khui doesn't like it.

And your mate isn't affected the same way for some stupid reason. It's not fair, and it makes things worse. He wants me. He wants to kiss me and hold me and touch me and make love, and every time he reaches for me, my body acts like it wants to vomit.

It's a nightmare.

"You cannot take pleasure in a mating?" Farli asks, shocked. "Truly?"

Well now I feel like even more of a freak. I can't wait for her to leave so I can crawl under the table after all. "Yes," I say in a small voice. "No matter what we do."

She thinks for a moment. "Perhaps…herbs? My mother has herbs that she uses. It is good for mating when the cunt is too dry for pleasure. If you chew it, it makes the cunt soft and wet. Mother says it does the trick."

I pull away from her, blinking. "Your mom told you about this?"

Farli looks surprised. "Of course. My mother still mates with my father. Do you think the elderly do not mate?" She laughs. "I have seen them in the furs. They are still quite vigorous!"

We are now officially in a super oversharing zone…but it's an idea. "An herb, you say?"

"To get your cunt good and slippery," she agrees with an emphatic nod.

I'm willing to try anything to get past this weird dislike my body now has of T'chai. "How do I get this herb?"

"I am certain the healer has some. It is also good for headaches." She giggles, as if the thought strikes her as funny. "I wonder if the two are related."

I manage a small smile.

FARLI GOES and retrieves the herbs for me while I wait in the Ravenclaw cave. I give her the excuse that I've already bugged Veronica once this day—which is true—but the truth is, I need to hide my crying. If T'chai sees that I've been weeping, it's going to hurt him.

And I hurt him enough as it is.

So I brush sand and salt off of tiny alien components while I wait for Farli to return and for my puffy eyes to dry. She comes back a short time later with a wide smile on her face and a pouch in her hand. "Success!" She leans in and winks at me in an exaggerated fashion. "And do not worry. I told Veronica my cunt was feeling scratchy. She asked no questions."

Poor Veronica. I can only imagine the look on her face. I giggle and give Farli a smile. "Thank you." I touch my cheeks. "Are my eyes still red?"

She pats my arm. "Your eyes are blue. Khui blue."

Right. I always forget that shit.

We leave the cave together, and I tuck the packet of herbs into my leather breast-band under my tunic. Outside, they're still setting up on the beach, and it makes me wonder what's taking so long. Maybe it's an obstacle course, though we haven't had good luck with those in the past. I still remember Sam's shrieks of terror from the last one, when her team collided with Devi's team and gave the tall scientist a serious knock on the head. I glance down at the beach and there are several people pointing and arguing. Ugh, no thanks.

I don't see M'tok or S'bren with the crowd, but Penny and Callie are standing near the arguers. I do see R'jaal, his arms crossed, and Tia flirting away at him, her hand on his chest. Whatever that girl's got going on, I wish I could bottle it for myself. I glance over at the fire and spot my mate.

Just the sight of him still takes my breath away. I pause as our eyes meet and he gives me a slow, secretive smile from across the camp. He's just as gorgeous now as he was the first day I met him—more, even, because he's filled out. He's no longer impossibly lean with his ribs showing. He's beefed up and while he's still not quite as barrel-thick as K'thar, his arms are thick and his shoulders seem impossibly wide. Even now, I can see that his arms are stretching the leather tunic he's wearing, as if it can't quite contain him. I'll ask Callie to help me make him another, I think. He's not a big fan of all the warm layers that this land requires, but he also can't run around in little more than a loincloth like Taushen and Farli do. They're used to the cold. It still bites at T'chai's warm island bones.

Plus, I kind of like that he's covered up. The jealous part of me likes being the only one that gets to see his hotness.

"Good luck, my friend," Farli whispers, leaning over my ear. "May your cunt be extra juicy tonight."

Weird, but I'll go with it. I really hope it is, too. I put my hand over my chest, feeling the crinkle of dried leaves in the packet. Please, please let this help things.

I love T'chai, but my khui's response is tearing us apart.

13

MARI

Even though I've been mated for months now, I'm nervous about tonight. We've given the whole “relationship” thing a few half-hearted shots, but it was easier when he was still recovering. We'd kiss a few times and then I'd say I was tired, or he was tired, but we both knew something was wrong. We haven't tried to have sex since he's recovered. I've even been sleeping in a separate pile of furs. At first it was because I didn't want to accidentally touch one of his still-healing wounds, but now it's just…what we do. He hasn't asked me to sleep with him again, and I haven't suggested it.

It's hard to suggest intimacy with your partner when you don't feel much of anything at all.

Ever since Veronica “turned off” my cootie, things have felt odd. Distant. Even when T'chai was sickest and I worried that all of Veronica's healing wouldn't work, it didn't truly hit me. It's like my emotions were muted when my khui was, because nothing seems to affect me. I didn't feel great joy at the sight of T'chai walking around again. Relief, yes, but it's a much milder emotion than joy. Shouldn't I have felt more? And I haven't felt the need to hide lately. When we first got here, I wanted to hide all the time because it helped soothe the anxiety of being stranded on an alien planet. Now…I can't find that I care much at all.

I haven't shared this with the others because I don't think they'd understand. I hinted at it to Callie one day and she looked at me like I was crazy. I didn't bring it up again. How do you explain to anyone that your khui isn't right? That it's on strike and it's gone and taken all the good things in the world with it? It's like the only thing my khui reacts to are the things it doesn't like…

Like when my mate touches me.

It's a hell of a position to be in, and it's miserable. I feel very alone, even on this now-crowded beach that seems to brim with couples. One by one, they've been pairing off, and I've been happy for my friends. Life's dealt us a shit hand, so why not try and enjoy what we've got, right?

But it's hard to be around so much happiness and public displays of affection and know there's something wrong with you. I've drifted away from my friendship with Lauren because we both resonated to our men at the same time, but she and K'thar are cute as buttons and it makes me envious.

Even now, as I sit around the evening fire with T'chai at my side, I try not to watch Lauren too closely. I don't want to see her give her mate that secret smile, or watch him touch her belly. I eat my soup and listen half-heartedly to the conversations.

T'chai's in a good mood, at least. He talks to R'jaal about the differences in casting nets in the water here, and they discuss weights and doubling strands while Tia tosses her hair and flirts with both Sessah and I'rec at the same time. U'dron watches Raven with a look of fierce longing on his face as she shows her shell tambourine to Bek and Elly. She's utterly oblivious to his crush, though it's been evident to the rest of us for a few weeks now. I notice the other women sit with their mates or cluster together—Steph, Sam, Flor, and Bridget huddle on one of the fallen logs, piled together and occasionally whispering.

Yeah, I don't fit in anywhere. Even my buddy Callie, my other Latina chica, is sitting in M'tok's lap and chatting animatedly with Penny, who sits on S'bren's. She hasn't been in the Ravenclaw cave as much lately since she resonated. While I'm happy for her, it just makes me feel more isolated.

T'chai puts his hand on my knee, drawing my attention, and I fight the urge to kick it free. It sends a shiver through my body, an unpleasant one, as if my khui is rebelling against his touch. "Do you want more food, my mate? Shall I get you another helping?"

I shake my head, gesturing at my half-full bowl. "I don't think I'll be able to eat all of mine. Do you want it?"

He grins at me, so heartbreakingly cute that it's physically painful to see him smile. He takes my bowl and eats the rest of my share with gusto. There's more than enough food to go around, but T'chai has a weird relationship with it after struggling with starvation for so long, I suspect. He could eat three bowls of food at every sitting. He doesn't, though; he only eats the same portion I get unless someone presses more food on him. He'll never ask for more—but he eats it so swiftly and with such enthusiasm when he gets a second helping that I know he's still hungry.

He just won't eat more because there needs to be enough for the entire tribe. It breaks my heart at what a good guy he is. Why can't my khui appreciate that? Instead, it's wrongly trying to protect me from being touched, as if it thinks someone other than my mate is putting the moves on me…because it doesn't recognize T'chai as my mate.

I bite back a sigh and force myself to touch his arm. "I'm tired. I'm going to head back to the hut."

"I will come with you," he says immediately, getting to his feet.

"No, it's okay." I tug him back down into his seat. "Finish your conversation with R'jaal and eat your food. I need a few minutes to myself."

He gives me a blatant look of longing even as he shoves another spoonful of hopper stew into his mouth. I extricate myself from the group near the fire, stepping over limbs and dishes as I do. I pass by Gail, who's watching her mate feed Z'hren, and lean over toward her. "Can you make sure T'chai eats another bowl? I think he's still hungry, and you know he won't ask."

"You know I will." She gives me a warm smile. "No worries."

I thank her and make my way down to the beach huts, away from the friendly group. I love the get-togethers at night but sometimes it's nice to just be by myself for a while. I breathe in the chilly night air, gaze out at the dark ocean, and head toward the hut T'chai built for us. It's nestled along the cliffs near M'tok and S'bren's twin huts, and the entire Tall Horn clan pitched in to help him make it, because he was still weak at the time. It's a nice hut—small and cozy—and it feels like home, even if there are two beds inside. I stoke the fire to make the place warm up, and then sit down on my furs and pull out the bag of herbs.

Farli didn't say how many to eat, or how to take them. For a moment, I consider leaving the hut to go and get her, but I don't want to bring attention to what I'm doing. Reluctantly, I grab a few of the thin, needle-like leaves and shove them into my mouth, chewing. It's like eating a mouthful of salty grass, and I gag and cough my way through each bite. I manage two handfuls—about half the bag—before my stomach starts to protest, and I drink cup after cup of water to try and clean the taste out of my mouth. I don't feel any different, and I sit on the furs, waiting for my body to pay attention. Is this like Spanish fly, where it makes you all horny? Or does it make you drunk?

Maybe I should have gotten drunk.

The idea has merit, and I get to my feet. Surely I can find some fermented sah-sah in the storage tents, right? I pull my boots on, but before I can head out, T'chai appears in the doorway, ducking his head so his proud, upright horns don't snag on the entrance.

"You are leaving?" he asks, a hint of hurt in his voice.

"What? Me? No." I sputter my replies. "I was going to go and look for you."

His wary expression changes to a smile, and I ache that I have so much power over this man. I should love that, right? Tia adores making every single guy on the beach dance to her tune. But I feel responsible for T'chai's smiles. He's mine. I take every frown and every sad expression personally, as if I've failed him.

I pat the blankets next to me, indicating he should join me. He doesn't hesitate, immediately dropping down to my side, and his eagerness makes me ache all over again. He deserves a better hand than what we've been dealt. I do, too, but I can suck it up and deal with my own misery—it's his that tears me apart.

T'chai takes my foot in his hands and works on unlacing my boots. It's been months and he still struggles with the foot coverings, so we have a ritual of me helping him put his on in the morning and to make up for it, he helps me take mine off at night. It's a friendly ritual. Sweet. We care for each other in the simplest of ways, and that reminds me that a marriage (or a mating) isn't just about sex. It's about being there for each other. I was there for T'chai during his awful illness, when every single part of his body seemed determined to wither away from the inside, and I'm sure if I was sick, he'd be there for me. Watching as he works on my boots, a look of intense concentration on his face as he works on the knots, I can't help but smile.

At least, I do until the boot is off and he caresses my bare skin. Once, I would have killed for a foot rub. Now it just sends an unpleasant skitter along my spine.

This is your mate, I remind myself. Remember when you were willing to be an island ho because you couldn't keep your hands off of him? He's the same guy. He's even better looking now, and you know him inside out. You love him.

At least…I think I love him? It's hard to tell with the biology controlling all the signals. All I know is that I was obsessed with him back on the island, and just touching him made me absolutely crazy. Then he nearly died for me. After that were his months of recovery, and so many days that I thought he was going to die after all, and even if it's not hearts and flowers love, we're bonded on so many levels after what we've gone through. I can't imagine my life without T'chai in it, and I don't want to. He's mine…even if my khui doesn't agree.

It liked him once. Surely it can like him again.

So I smile widely in what's hopefully an encouraging way as he rubs my foot. I don't pull away, even though I kind of want to. It's not him. It's my khui that's malfunctioning.

He pulls my second boot off and then leans over to kiss me, his mouth seeking mine.

I can't help but compare the kisses in a way that makes my heart hurt. Back on the island, his kisses made me utterly giddy. I couldn't get enough of them, and his mouth felt like perfection against mine despite the fact that he was unpracticed. That didn't matter. All that mattered was tasting him, feeling the slick of his tongue against mine. Tonight, though, it just feels…vaguely off. I want to feel so much more, but the longer he kisses me, the more I just want it done.

I hate this. Not his kisses—I want to love those again—but feeling like this and knowing it's not the truth. I know I'd love T'chai's kisses if my cootie wasn't being such a dick.

He pulls back and for a moment, I worry he's sensing my lack of enthusiasm. But he only tilts his head and grins at me in that endearing way of his. "You taste strange."

Ay dios. I put my hand to my mouth, thinking of all those nasty herbs I ate earlier that I'm pretty sure didn't do a thing for me. I don't feel any different…except apparently I changed my taste. "Do I?" I cast around for a decent lie, because I don't want to confess and hurt his feelings. "My stomach was upset after dinner so I ate a few tea leaves to try and settle it."

Immediately, his look changes to one of concern. He pulls me into his lap and holds me close, stroking my back. "You feel unwell?"

It's moments like this—when he's so caring and achingly sweet—that I feel like the worst mate possible. "I'm fine," I whisper. "I promise. Don't worry about it."

He leans in and watches my face for a long moment, studying me, and then gives me the tiniest of kisses. Just a little nip on the lower lip, and I have to admit, I like it. He gives me another, and another, as if testing to see if my stomach's going to revolt again, and all the while, his hands move up and down my spine.

This? I can do this. I ignore the twinges of dislike that I feel when the kiss deepens, or when his hand slides under my tunic and cups my breast. I do like this. I do. I want to feel so much more when he rubs his thumb over my nipple, but it doesn't respond. It doesn't tighten against his teasing touch, and I don't feel my body responding, either.

A quiet sense of despair begins to rise.

If T'chai's cootie is giving him the same WRONG WRONG WRONG vibes mine is, he doesn't show it. I can feel his erection, thick and prominent, pressing against my thigh. His mouth is eager, and his hand moves down into my leggings, pushing between my thighs.

And then he pauses.

T'chai pulls back. "You are not wet?"

I lick my lips, feeling like the worst woman ever. "I…"

He pulls his hand away, the flash of hurt and betrayal on his face wounding me. "My kisses do not make you wet anymore, Mari? Do I do something that you do not like?"

"It's not you," I manage, sliding off his lap and escaping. I get to my feet and begin to pace the floor, frustrated. "I want to be so into this. I do. Not even Farli's herbs did anything. It's like my body's not paying attention at all!"

"Herbs?" he asks quietly.

Shit. I didn't want to mention them. "You know my cootie doesn't seem to like yours anymore." I feel like a dumbass for stating the obvious, and gesture at him. "I wanted to try some herbs that some of the older women use when they can't get…lubricated any longer. Sometimes it happens when you get older—"

"But you are not older," he says stiffly. "The healer has robbed us of this."

I shake my head. "It's me. I robbed us of this. It was my decision."

He's silent for a long moment. "Am I a bad mate to you, my Mari? Is it because I have not hummed against your clit?"

Of all the things I expected to hear from him, that wasn't it. I sputter for a moment. "Hummed against my…what?"

"Your clit," he says patiently, as if I have never heard of it before. "I have not hummed against it and S'bren says that is a problem." His expression turns bitter. "Everyone has advice on what I am doing wrong, it seems."

And that's worse than anything. Because he thinks he's the problem. I drop down next to him again and take his hands in mine. "You know it's not you. Just like I know it's not me. It's our cooties. Somewhere in all of this, they got confused and now we just need to figure out how to get them to like each other once more…the way I like you." I give him a tiny smile and reach up to caress his jaw. "Farli says that Veronica will get stronger with her healing powers in time—"

He makes a dismissive sound. "I do not want the healer trying anything on me ever again. She has done enough."

"She saved your life," I remind him gently. "Whatever happens, I'm still grateful for that. Maybe just…can we cuddle tonight instead of having sex? We're still mates, even if my cootie hasn't gotten the memo yet." I try to give him a bright smile, but to my horror, I start to cry.

The look on his face is sheer devastation. "Do not cry, my mate." He pulls me close and then hesitates, as if he's not sure if he should touch me. I fling my arms around him, burrowing against his neck, because I want to be held, even if my cootie doesn't want it. "Please do not cry," he murmurs again. "It hurts me when you do."

It seems like all we do lately is hurt each other.

14

T'CHAI

T  he next day is a good one. The weather is mild, the winds are light, and the suns peek out from behind the clouds. For this cold shore, it is a warm day…and I am spending it listening to Shadow Cat squabble with Strong Arm over the first round of the games.

"This is clearly weighted in Strong Arm's favor," I'rec snaps, holding up the weapon called a “bola' in front of T'shen's unyielding face. "Anything with arms favors them. We should have racing games instead."

"So you can win?" J'shel calls back, tossing his long braid over his shoulder. "Everyone knows that Strong Arm is not built for sprinting. We are fierce warriors, not hoppers to race away at the first sign of danger."

O'jek bares his teeth at that, and then everyone is snarling all over again. I rub my brow, tired. It has been like this all morning. Who thought a competition for the knives was a good idea? So far all it has done is create fights amongst the clans…as if we needed another reason to dislike each other.

"It is a human weapon," T'shen explains. "And the next round will be a footrace. I promise that it will all be fair."

I'rec looks to R'jaal, who only shrugs. "He says it will be fair," R'jaal begins, and I'rec throws his hands up in disgust. Always so hot tempered, Shadow Cat clan. I'rec acts as if his clan is deliberately slighted, and bristles when R'jaal tries to talk to him. R'jaal gives up, walking away from the group.

The little human female T'ia immediately follows him, touching his arm and trying to get his attention. "Where are you going?" she asks, her voice giggly and light. It is obvious that it is an attempt to flirt and get his attention.

R'jaal is oblivious. He points at me. "I wish to talk to T'chai. I will be back."

"Don't be gone long." Sticks her lower lip out, pouting at him. "I thought we could sit together."

"We shall see," R'jaal says absently. He sidesteps when she tries to pull on his arm, pats her shoulder, and heads to my side. "Ho, brother. How are you this morning?"

"Alive and whole," I say, watching as Shadow Cat and Strong Arm clans squabble over the race markers. "So it is a good day." I gesture at T'ia, who dances back over to stand near Shadow Cat clan. "That one is giving you soft eyes."

R'jaal just grunts, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the rocks with me as we watch the messy group. "She gives all the unmated males soft eyes. We are not special to her. She just wants attention."

My clansmate is wise. I watch as the female touches O'jek's arm and giggles at him, tucking her fluffy mane behind her ear. What he said is not wrong. I know he was mildly interested in T'ia when she first flirted with him…until he realized she also flirted with I'rec, and O'jek, and U'dron and A'tam. She flirted with N'dek and S'bren and M'tok before they were mated, too. Now that male after male has been paired off, her group of hunters has grown smaller. Even U'dron enjoyed her flirting at first, but now he has eyes only for R'ven. And A'tam has been obsessed with B'shit ever since they mated. Perhaps that is why T'ia keeps coming back to R'jaal. She wants to bring him back to her side. "She is playing with fire, that little female."

"I'rec will be careful with her heart. He is being patient. He knows she is young."

"He might be careful with her, but I do not think she is as careful with him." I watch the female giggle and touch O'jek's arm again. I'rec notices but says nothing, turning back to T'shen to squabble with him.

R'jaal grunts and glances over at me. "Enough about them. How is your mate today?"

"Beautiful." I smile, thinking of her. I awoke to find her curled around me in her sleep, as if she did not wish to let me go for a moment. It made my heart happy, even if my khui did not react.

"And your khui? Has it recognized hers again?"

"No. It still hates my touch." I rub my jaw, thinking of last night and Mari's tears. Of the herbs she ate to try and make her body respond. I hate that things must be like this between us when before, they were so good. So right. The frustration is endless. "We tried to mate last night but it did not work. It never works." I shake my head, saddened. "It is driving us apart. We want to be together, but not being able to touch is maddening."

"She has your heart, yes?" R'jaal asks.

"She does." I smile at the thought. "She holds it fiercely in her small hand and has never let it go. But this is very, very hard."

"Bah. Harder than when you held your guts in your hands?"

I say nothing. He will not understand until he resonates. He will not know what it is like to experience that intense, pure joy of connection with your mate…only to have it disappear and never return. To have the female whose touch made your cock rise now pull away from you when you reach for her. "I worry that if we cannot touch, I will lose her. I want to connect with her, to touch her and give her pleasure, but now that I am better, my touch causes her nothing but distress."

"So do not touch her," R'jaal says.

"Eh?"

He nudges me with his elbow. "Woo her with words. Tell her the things you want to do to her. Show her how much you care…just do not touch one another. It is not much, but it is something."

Dumbfounded, I blink at him. "That is an excellent idea. You are clever, R'jaal."

"I know," he says smugly. "You should listen to me more often."

I elbow him back, but my mind is racing. Woo my mate with words and not touches. Be intimate with her…without touching. I think of how she showed me before how to touch her, and how hard it made my cock when she ran her hands over her own body. Surely that will work, I think? Excitement races through me. Tonight, I will win my mate with spoken words. I cannot wait to see how she reacts.

"We are starting," T'shen calls out, his hands cupped to his mouth. "If you wish to participate, speak with my mate and she will put you on her list." He points and the female Buh-brukh gets to her feet, holding a skin in front of her and a charcoal-tipped bone. It looks as if she has scribbled all kinds of strange symbols on the skin. More of the “writing” that Mari has spoken of. Words not spoken, but placed on things to tell stories. It is hard for me to grasp. I do not understand why speaking must be placed on a skin, but Buh-brukh seems to know what she is doing.

"Go," I tell R'jaal. "Win a grand knife for Tall Horn. Show both Shadow Cat and Strong Arm which clan is the best."

He grins at me and then pushes off the rocks, jogging toward the others. He raises a hand to Buh-brukh, who nods and moves her charcoal-stick on the skin. I watch as R'jaal joins the others lining up, standing at the end.

"You want a kiss for luck?" Tia asks, and flings her arms around his waist.

I wince when R'jaal does. The female does not seem to realize R'jaal is not interested. He turns to look at her and she tries to pull him down to her mouth—

And then I'rec is there.

I see the Shadow Cat hunter grab R'jaal by one of his horns and pulls him away from the female. She screams, and then R'jaal leaps onto I'rec. Furious, they attack one another, the heavy thuds of fists striking hitting the beach. A few of the females scream, and then everyone on the beach is scattering.

This is bad.

I rush forward with a shout, even as T'shen lets out a bellow of anger. I am on I'rec a moment later, pulling him off of R'jaal even as he pounds his fist into my clans-mate's side. R'jaal's teeth are sunk into I'rec's tail, and both are bleeding and covered in sand. I'rec lets out a growl of anger and lunges at me, his claws striking at my jaw and scoring my skin.

A moment later, he is held back by his own clan.

"What the fuck!" Buh-brukh exclaims. Nearby, T'ia is sobbing, her hands clasped into tight fists against her chest. One of the watching females moves forward as I offer a hand to R'jaal. "Is he okay? I'm a nurse." She pushes me aside and drops to her knees next to R'jaal in the sand. "Your eye looks bad. Does it have grit in it? Should we rinse it out?"

"It will be fine," he grumbles. "If not, the healer will fix it."

"Right, the healer," the female says, and her tone is scathing. "Forgive me for trying to fucking help."

R'jaal gives her a mystified look as I haul him to his feet. "You are bleeding," he points out to me.

"It is just a scrape on the jaw." I watch the angry female march away and notice she casts an ugly look at T'ia. In fact, everyone is giving the female accusing looks. Of course they are. If she did not tease I'rec so, he would not have attacked R'jaal because the female gave him attention.

"You come with me," Buh-brukh hisses, grabbing T'ia by the arm. "You are in some serious shit now, girlfriend. This is a real mess you've created."

"I didn't do anything," T'ia sobs, but she meekly goes with Buh-brukh.

"Didn't you?" Buh-brukh snarls. "You've been egging this shit on for months and it's finally caught up with you. Come on. You're going to talk to the man in charge." With an angry stride, she leads the crying girl away.

"It is fine," R'jaal protests. "Let us game for the knife already. We can get out our frustrations that way." He dusts more sand off his hide and touches the broken skin over his ribs. "I have had worse falling out of a tree."

I'rec—still held back by O'jek and A'tam—just huffs with irritation.

"No games today," T'shen says. His expression is somber. "We must not fight each other."

"You have not been around our island clans," I'rec snipes. "We fight. That is what we do."

"Yes, well, now you are not on the island, and we must all live together," T'shen snaps back. It is the angriest I have ever heard him. He is normally all smiles and easy-going attitude. Everyone is prickly this day. "I will speak to Raahosh and see what we must do. If all of the games will provoke fights, then perhaps no one should get a knife at all."

Groans chorus amongst the men, and R'jaal looks furious. Others are gathering, brought from the shouting, and I see V'za and his mate, and K'thar and his. Soon the entire beach will be here, angry at I'rec and R'jaal and T'ia.

It is a mess.

I swipe at my jaw, and more blood is streaming down my chin. Others are gathering, and I notice that Mari is among them. A mess, just like Buh-brukh said.

"Are you bleeding?" Mari cries out in a high-pitched voice, rushing toward me.

My gut fills with warmth at my mate's concern. Her expression is distraught as she moves to my side, reaching for my jaw. "What happened?"

"It was a small clash," I reassure her. "Nothing more."

Her lips purse and she gives me an unhappy look. "You've got blood all over yourself."

"It is not a deep wound, I promise." My khui may be silent, but my heart sings right now. "It will stop bleeding soon enough. Do not worry."

"At least let me clean it up for you," Mari says, a stubborn note in her voice. She takes my hand and tugs on it, as if she will drag me from the beach.

I go, of course. An excuse to have my mate touch me? I will take every chance I can get. Mari's touch is worth a thousand slashes on the jaw. I grin to myself. Today is getting better and better.

The only thing that would make my smile bigger? If my khui sang. But it is a traitor, and just as silent as ever. I will go around you, then, I vow. Tonight, I will woo my mate with words alone. If you will not sing on your own, perhaps we will convince you.

I like this thought. I like it very much…and I cannot wait for sundown.

"You don't have to look so thrilled to get cut open," Mari grumbles, and I just laugh.

15

MARI

I  use the excuse of needing hot, boiled water to clean T'chai's wounds to sit by the fire. In reality, the khui will probably stop most smaller infections, and as long as the cut is clean, he should be okay. But my heart tells me to clean everything fiercely, and twice, and pack it with herbs, all because I remember those long, awful days in which he struggled to breathe, his entire body hot and swollen from infection.

"Pobrecito," I cluck at him as I dab at his wounds.

"Poor little one?" He pulls away from me, stung. "You think I am a kit?"

"It's an expression," I reassure him. "An affectionate one. Now give me your jaw." He looks a bit mulish but does as I say, letting me carefully clean the grit out of the cuts with a bit of softened leather. Gail hands me a bowl of steaming water sprinkled with cleansing herbs, and I shoot her a grateful look, then return to concentrating on my mate. For all that T'chai thinks it's not a big deal, it's a deep cut, and I could kill I'rec for doing this to him. Just walk right over to his big arrogant face and choke him to death.

"You are scowling," T'chai murmurs, his hand trailing up my pants leg to rest on my hip.

"I'm mad at I'rec," I whisper. "And Tia, too. That little shit." I try to put myself in Tia's shoes. I was a huge flirt when I was in high school, too, but I knew better than to flirt with a bunch of older men that had never had a woman before. The testosterone on the beach has been building to a damn crescendo lately. With each pair that resonates, the remaining males get a little more anxious and desperate. Shadow Cat is already full of hotheads and the fact that none of them have resonated to anyone has not been lost on anyone. They're wound up, ready to explode—and it happened today. "She's been playing with fire and now we're all getting burned."

"Everything is all right," T'chai soothes me. "No one was truly hurt."

"Oh, I'm sorry, cabrón, is this not your blood all over my hands?"

"You are very mad," T'chai points out, and there's a hint of wonder in his voice.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I like that you are so protective of me," he murmurs, trying to nuzzle against my hand.

That sets my cootie off in a jarring way, and it sends a flare of dislike through my body. I ignore it—because fuck that stupid thing anyhow—and continue to tend to my mate. "I just don't like you getting hurt. And look at R'jaal's eye. It's terrible. All because a little girl wanted all the boys to pay attention to her." I cluck my tongue, and then stop myself. Tia is young. I'm not going to attack her for being young and stupid and boy-crazy. I'm just mad because the sight of T'chai with blood all over his face nearly made my heart stop in my chest. "You're not allowed to get wounded," I remind my mate. "Not even a scratch."

He chuckles, his breath warm against my fingers as I dab at his wounds. "If I get this attention, I am going to show up with small cuts all the time."

I mock-scowl at him, but my heart feels lighter at his flirting. Not just because of relief, but because I like talking with him. I like being with him, and flirting. I like when he smiles. Even if everything seems to be falling apart around us, when T'chai smiles, it feels all right.

Then he touches my hand and that feeling of wrongness sweeps over me again, and my happy mood dissipates. Can't it stop for a freaking day? A freaking hour? I clench my jaw and wet the cloth again, focusing on T'chai even as voices rise around us.

"It's not my fault," Tia sobs. "I didn't hit anyone! Why is everyone mad at me?" She storms through camp, all thick black curls and angry tears.

Liz trails behind her, a baby at her breast and an angry look on her face. "I'm not done talking to you! Get back here!"

"You're not my mother!" Tia bellows at her, and then storms into the women's cave.

Liz sputters, her face red with fury as her mate comes up behind her and puts a hand on her shoulder. "Jesus Christ, remind me that I can't choke her to death?"

"You cannot choke her to death," Raahosh says in an equally flat voice. "But something must be done with her. I'rec, too. Fighting is not allowed inside the tribe. If we all swung our fists as we pleased, everything would be chaos."

R'jaal gets to his feet, holding a wet cloth to the side of his swollen face. I know I'rec's in Veronica's tent, and R'jaal declined having the healer look at his injuries. He has a guilty look on his face, his expression sad as he looks around the camp. "You must punish me," R'jaal declares. "I am a leader, and I fought with him as much as he fought with me."

"Oh, everyone's getting punished," Liz declares angrily, and then the baby at her breast begins to cry. "Oh, goddamn it."

Raahosh takes his mate by the shoulders before she can stomp off, and then cups her chin. "Calm yourself, my mate. I will make sure everything is taken care of."

Liz's jaw clenches, but she nods, letting out a deep breath. "You know how I feel."

"I do." He caresses the hard set of her jaw with his thumb, smiling faintly at her, and I'm filled with envy at their easy relationship. Why can't it be that easy between me and T'chai? Why can't I be the one with a baby at my breast?

"I can hardly wait for our girls to turn into teenagers," Liz says wryly, and then takes the crying baby away from the camp, making soothing sounds.

Raahosh just rubs his brows and glances over at us. "Your mate is not harmed?"

"It is nothing," T'chai begins.

I cut him off by putting my fingers against his lips and turning to Raahosh. "Not harmed? You want to see these gouges on his face?"

"They are not deep," T'chai mumbles around my fingers.

"If the wounds were on my face would you feel the same?" I ask him in a tight voice. Shit, I'm almost as mad as Liz. I'm practically shaking I'm so frustrated.

"I'rec will be punished," Raahosh reassures me. "He will be so busy with hunting he will have no time to talk to the females."

"And me?" R'jaal grimaces and moves the cloth from his eye. "I fought just as much. You cannot blame I’rec for everything. He thinks I was encroaching on his female, and I let my dislike of him get to me.”

"You will be punished as well. And Tee-ah, too," Raahosh says.

“Is she his?” T’chai asks. “I’rec’s mate?”

“No. She has been mouth-mating with several of the unmated males. It is no wonder they are all upset. Both O’jek and Sessah have been by to ask about her.”

Gail clucks under her tongue. "Kissing half the camp is bad news, but she's just a young, hormonal girl around a bunch of attractive men. What do y'all expect? She'll grow out of it."

"Then perhaps it is best that she not be around the males until she does." Raahosh crosses his arms. "I have spoken with my mate and with the other hunters from Croatoan, and we feel she might be better off at the village, where there are no males to be bothered. It solves all the problems."

Tia will haaate that, but it might be the right thing to do. "How are you going to get her to them," I ask. "I thought we couldn't go to the village until the brutal season is over? Bek and Elly said it's too hard to walk." I know, because I've asked. There's a healer at Croatoan, and while I'm not keen on healers right now, I've given it a thought a time or four.

"Ash-tar says he will brave a flight if it is important. I believe this is important." Raahosh has a stubborn look on his face.

T'chai touches my hand again, and that skittering feeling of “wrong” moves through me again. A whole other village. Away from the men here. Maybe Tia isn't the only one that should go. My heart hurts at the thought but…I wonder if it might not be easier on both me and T'chai to not be around each other.

I make a mental note to talk to Veronica later. If Tia goes to Croatoan, I probably should too.

I'M quiet as we head back to our hut, my mind on fire with all the possibilities.

I have to go to Croatoan. Not just because there's a healer there. Because if this thing between myself and T'chai can't get fixed…I'm going to move there, permanently. It'll be easier than facing him every morning and knowing that I willfully destroyed what we had. Never mind that we had no other choice. I still feel like I did something wrong. Like I betrayed him and his khui both. It'll be easier for both of us if we're not around each other, constantly faced with our problem.

Maybe that's just me trying to run away again, but I don't care. I'm so very tired and defeated at this point. I think of last night and I just want to cry. I wanted to make love to my mate. I wanted to touch him, and my cootie gave me nothing in return. Separation is the best answer.

But I know T'chai won't like hearing that, so I keep it to myself for now. I'll have to figure out how to approach it…just not yet.

"You are quiet," T'chai says as we head into our hut.

"Just thinking." I turn to him, studying his cheek. "Are you still bleeding?"

"It has closed up. Before you ask, I do not need the healer." There is a teasing look in his gaze, and it breaks my heart all over again. That stupid knot returns to my throat and I swallow hard, trying to keep from crying. He notices my expression, though, and his immediately changes. "Mari, what is wrong?"

"Everything," I whisper. I move to my furs, sinking onto them and hugging a thick pelt around my shoulders. I want to hide away, but this is about as good as I can get right now.

"Is it more than my cheek? Are you upset for T'ia?"

I shake my head and look over at him. "Her leaving will be good for the tribe. It's not that she's a bad person, she just needs to grow up a little, and Shadow Cat needs to cool off a bit. I'm sure she'll be hurt at first, but I think it'll be good for her in the long run."

"Then why do you cry?"

I lick my lips. "You know what I just said about how going to the other village will be good for her in the long run?" I hesitate, and then blurt it out to him before I can lose my courage. "She's not the only one I think it'll be good for."

Confusion is written across his face. He watches me, uncomprehending, and then reaches for my hand. "You wish for us to go to Croatoan as well? Do you want to live there?"

No, I don't want to live there, I want to say, but I keep that cry bottled up inside. Instead, I rephrase it tactfully. "I think I should live there." I glance up at him. "Just me."

T'chai recoils.

16

MARI

I  feel like the worst person ever. There's blatant hurt on T'chai's face at my announcement. I knew he wouldn't like it, but I also didn't expect to feel as if I'm gutting him with my words.

"You would leave me?" he asks, and there's a rough edge to his voice that makes me ache so badly.

"It's not you," I promise him. "It's me. It's this stupid mistake I made and if I can't fix it, it might be easier for both of us if we're not together."

He stares at me. Slowly, he shakes his head. "No. I do not agree."

"What we have isn't working—"

"You did not give up on me, not even when I was at my sickest," he points out. "But you will give up on me now?"

"That's not what I'm doing!"

"You will just leave me, then? As if my hurts do not matter?"

I flinch. "I'm not doing this to hurt you. I'm doing this because I want both of us to stop hurting."

He shakes his head again, then sinks down on the furs next to me. I fight the urge to scoot away, knowing now is not the time. "No, my mate. You think I will hurt less if you leave my side?" He leans in, watching me with such an intent stare. "Just because our khuis no longer sing to one another does not mean that things are bad between us."

"Are you kidding me?" The words choke from my throat and I clutch the blanket tighter. "Every time you touch me, it sends a 'no, bad' signal through my body. I hate that! I hate that I ever chose to turn things off. It was such a mistake and now I feel like we're both paying for it—"

"You chose that to save my life," T'chai murmurs. "How can I feel that was a mistake? You did it out of love for me. I will not forget this."

I suck in a deep, shuddering breath. "The only reason I suggest moving is because I'm tired of hurting you, T'chai. I know your cootie isn't as turned off as mine is. I know I'm the problem. And maybe if I'm not here, your cootie will pay attention to someone else. Maybe you can resonate to another—" I choke on the words. They gag me, and I press my fingers to my mouth. I don't want T'chai to touch another. He's mine, even if my khui won't recognize it. I can tell from his expression he doesn't like that idea, either. He looks as if the idea is repugnant to him.

"You think I would choose another?" He looks offended.

Licking my lips, I struggle to find the right thing to say. "I just want you to be happy—"

"I am happy," he says in a gentle voice, reaching for me. He drops his hand at the last moment, but remains near, and I ache, because I want him to touch me. I do. Or rather, I want to want it. "When I wake up and see you next to me, I am happy, Mari." He hesitates and reaches out to touch a strand of my hair, rubbing the curling end around his fingers. "When you smile, I am filled with joy. Mating is not everything in a relationship. The khui brings us together, but it does not sing all day every day. The rest of the time, it is you and I."

"But we should be able to touch," I protest. "I've robbed us of that. I've robbed us of children."

"You made a choice," he says gently. "You saved me. I cannot be mad about that. You cannot punish yourself for it. It has happened. Just like when the Great Smoking Mountain rose up and destroyed my clan, I grieved…and then I continued surviving. We can still have joy together, my mate."

"How?" I blink away tears. "How am I supposed to feel joy when I can't touch you? When I can't love you the way we were meant to?"

"Do you like my words?" T'chai's voice is a soft caress. "Do you like the things I say to you?"

"I…I don't know what you're getting at, T'chai." I stare down at his fingers, twined in my hair. The sight of it is intimate. Sweet. And because he's not touching me, it doesn't feel wrong yet.

"I still want what we have," T'chai tells me. "Even if it is broken. Even if it stays broken forever. Because half a mating with my lovely, determined Mari is better than a lifetime alone."

He steals the breath right out of my chest, this alien man. "Oh, T'chai."

"If you want to go to the other village, I will not stop you. Perhaps you should see the healer there. See if her powers are greater than V'ronca's. But I will be with you. And if it does not work, so be it. If you wish to stay, so be it. We will make a home there and we will be happy, because we will be together." He has such a fierce, determined look on his face. It's the look of someone who refuses to give up. Someone who won't give in to the sadness that seems to be choking me lately.

My heart swells with love. My T'chai, an optimist. I never knew how much I needed that. "But you're going to want more than what I can give you."

"Then we will get creative, my pretty mate." There's a wicked gleam in his eyes. "I am willing to try a great many things. Just do not give up on us."

"You really want to keep doing this?"

"Being your mate is about sharing your life. It is not just taking you into the furs and making you scream my name. It is about being there for you when you are sad. It is about making you smile. It is about keeping you safe. It is about being happy together." He tugs lightly on my hair. "I still want all of those things with you. Nothing has changed for me, my Mari."

"I love you," I whisper. "I'm sorry if I'm making this hard on you."

"You do not make it hard on me. You feel like you are the problem. I am here to tell you that you are not." He smiles at me, his expression so sweet he makes me ache. "And if my touch does not bring you pleasure, then so be it. I have spent all day thinking of new ways to pleasure you that do not involve my touch."

I'm dumbfounded. While I've been moping and lost in my sadness, he's been trying to come up with solutions. "Like what?"

He pulls out his gloves and brandishes them. "If my skin touching your skin bothers you, then I wear these."

I let out a little giggle of surprise, some of my sadness evaporating in the face of his eagerness. "Really?"

"Really. And if that still does not work, then I will just speak of the things I would like to do to you, and watch you touch yourself." His eyes grow hot, his expression intense. "I have been thinking about that one a lot today."

He has? I look at my big, brawny mate, his sober face full of enthusiasm and hope. This is a man who would never give up on me, I realize. If our positions were reversed, he would never suggest leaving me behind so I could be happier with someone else. He takes what we have and he's happy for it.

I feel like such a jerk. I smile at him. "I don't deserve you."

"You deserve me. Just as I deserve you." He rubs my hair between his fingers, and his smile is so, so beautiful. "Our khuis decided this once. They will decide it again. Wait and see. And we will go to the other village and speak with the healer there, to see if she has more answers. Until then, we will love without touching."

Love without touching. "You make it sound so easy."

T'chai's shrug is simple. He puts on one of his gloves—more of a mitten, really—and tugs the laces around his wrist. "It is easy to me. For many turns of the seasons, I thought I would never have a mate. I lost all of my family, my friends, except for R'jaal and the brothers. I was starving. There was nothing to look forward to, except to wake up the next morning and hope that the next day would be better than the last. I lived like this for many seasons, and then one day, R'jaal brought a golden female to our beach and declared her his. But when she opened her eyes, she looked at me and claimed me for her own." He gazes at his mittened hand and then slowly, gently puts it on my thigh. "It does not matter that there are a few storms to weather, my Mari. The important thing is that we weather them together."

"I'm sorry," I tell him, and put my hand over his gloved one. Strangely enough, it does feel a little better like this. "I was trying to find a way to make it easier for you."

"Easier. Bah. Who said I wished for easier?" His thumb moves up and down on my leggings, tickling my thigh. "Do you wish to try for more with me, Mari? If you say no, I will understand. You will still hold as much of my heart as ever."

That simple statement—that quiet acceptance—makes me ache with such fierce devotion. "I'd like to try. I just don't want you to be disappointed if it sucks."

"Of course I will be disappointed." He rubs my knee with the glove in an affectionate sort of way. "But I will not blame you, if that is what you are asking."

I guess it kind of is. "It might not work." I feel the need to warn him a second time. "For a long, long time, I didn't feel anything at all. It's like my feelings were…muffled. All of them."

"Muffled?"

"You know when you hear shouting underwater? And you know someone's shouting but you can't make out what they're saying? It feels like that." My jaw works as I try not to let loose another round of self-pity-fueled tears. "It's awful."

T'chai studies me, and then reaches up to touch my cheek. Even though he's gloved, the caress feels comforting all the same. "Is it better now? Or the same?"

"I don't know," I admit honestly. "Sometimes it's hard to tell."

"But you have been sad this day," he points out. "And that is an emotion. And earlier, you were very angry at I'rec for cutting me." His mouth twitches, as if fighting a smile. "Those are not the actions of a female that has entirely muffled emotions."

Huh. I've been so down on myself that I didn't stop to think about that. He's right, though, I've been emotional all day long. "Maybe you're right? Maybe some things are coming back with time?"

His smile is soft, encouraging. "Perhaps we can entice your khui into recognizing mine once more."

Oh god, I hope so. I love his smile, and I would love nothing more than to kiss it off his face and not feel as if I'm going to throw up when we touch. "That would be everything I'd hoped for." I smile at him, and for the first time in a long time, I feel hope. "Thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Because I've been so stuck in my own head that I didn't stop to realize."

"This is why you must talk to me, my mate. This is why we are partners. Because we are better together than separately."

I put my hand over his gloved one on my cheek. "Then you'll go with me to Croatoan and talk to the healer there? I don't think it'll be a fun journey, but if they're taking Tia, I won't feel like a jerk for asking to go with them."

"We should have asked to go before," he admits. "I am willing to brave a little cold if it means solving this and bringing a smile back to your face."

"I'm not sure it means just a little cold," I say, and I feel lighter than I have in forever. Almost…happy. "I should have talked to you," I agree. "Instead I've been wandering around like La Llorona, weeping and wailing over what I've lost."

"La Llorona?" He tries to say it with a slight roll in his R's like I do, but it ends up sounding like Scooby-Doo mangling words. At my giggle, his face breaks into a wide grin. "What is it?"

"It's an old legend where I'm from."

"Tell me about the story." He pats his thigh. "But come and sit in my lap as you do."

Sit in his lap?

It feels incredibly dumb to get shy after what we've been through together, but his request makes me feel so…uncertain. My cheeks flush, but I close the distance between us and slide onto his thigh. I put my arms around his neck, and he rubs my back. It's not sexual…but good lord, I'm feeling it anyhow. I shift on his leg, aware of my bottom resting on the thick muscles of his thigh, and when he pulls me closer, his glove skims over the front of my tunic, and I'm filled with longing for more touches.

God, I've missed touching so much.

"Tell me about this 'la-lona.'"

I chuckle at his mangled pronunciation. "La Llorona is an old legend where I am from." I pause as he reaches around me and grabs his other glove, then works it onto his other hand. It's hard for him to do it one-handed (his other on my back) so he bites the edge of it to hold it as he pushes his hand into the glove, and I'm fascinated by the flash of teeth.

"Go on," he encourages me, and then holds the wrist of the glove out in a silent request for me to tie it.

Right. We were talking before I got distracted by his mouth. I tie the second glove for him as he rubs my back with the other, and as I do, I try to remember the details of the story. Of how La Llorona was a beautiful Mexican woman who married an uncaring husband, and when he put her aside for a younger woman, she went into a rage and killed her children. How she was immediately stricken with remorse and killed herself, too, and now spends all eternity wandering as a ghost, weeping over her lost children.

T'chai frowns at me as I tell the tale. "That is a terrible story."

I laugh at his expression. "It's not meant to be happy."

"But you compare yourself to that? Just because you weep?" His gloved hand moves up my arm in a slow, soothing motion. "It is not the same at all."

"Well, no, it's not," I agree, somewhat breathless at his hands all over me. "It's just an expression."

He studies me thoughtfully. "I do not like the idea of you being sad."

Heh. He's not the only one. "I don't like being sad."

T'chai watches me intently as his glove skims over my elbow. "Is my touch bothering you?"

I think for a moment and then shake my head. "I'm all right. The gloves help."

"Then I can keep touching you?"

Biting my lip, I fight off a wave of sadness. "I wish we didn't have to use the gloves—"

Before I can finish the statement, T'chai shushes me with a gloved finger over my lips. "You are focusing on the wrong things, my Mari. Do not focus on what we do not have. Be thankful for what we do."

"Glass half full, you mean?"

"Glass?"

I chuckle. "Never mind." I reach up and touch his hair. It sends a little shiver of unease through me but goes away quickly. Maybe it's just skin to skin that sets my cootie off. "Does my touch bother you?"

"No."

Hmm. "Figures that I'm the one that…" I let my words trail off when he gives me another warning look. "Okay, right. Glass half full. I'm glad my touch doesn't bother you, because then at least one of us isn't a problem."

"You are never a problem," he murmurs in that husky, rough voice of his. "Never."

For some reason, it's nice to hear that. "Thank you," I whisper. It eases some of the anxiety I have to hear him talk like this. To know that no matter what happens, he's not blaming me. I smooth my hand down his chest, feeling the rippling muscle through his leather tunic. It's not the same as touching him skin to skin, but it's still…nice.

"Can I take your tunic off of you?" T'chai asks. "So I can put my gloves on your bare skin?"

Do I want that? After a moment, I decide that I do. Biting my lip, I tug on the laces that trail up the front, until I can pull the entire thing over my head. I hate that I'm weirdly anxious over all of this. I'm just so afraid of disappointing him, or showing that I'm going to be stuck as a “cold fish” forever.

"It is just me," T'chai says in the most gentle voice. It's like he can hear my concerns. "It is the same T'chai who holds you close at night and wipes your tears away. It is the same T'chai who you wiped the brow of every day when he was sick. What is there to worry about?"

"The same T'chai who still likes fish heads?" I tease, the joke sounding as wobbly as I feel.

"I have never liked fish heads," he admits, a hint of a smile curving his mouth. "I just ate them because it was something to put in my belly."

I still remember that moment like it was yesterday, the expression of resigned disgust on his face as he chewed. It's both funny and utterly heartbreaking and I want to kiss him so badly. The only thing stopping me is knowing that my cootie won't let me enjoy it. But the memory breaks through my worry, and I strip my tunic off, tossing it onto the furs. My breast-band goes next, and then I'm topless and cradled in his lap.

My mate lets out a low groan at the sight of me, and I can feel his body twitch under mine. He carefully puts one glove on my back again, the other on my arm, and rubs it. "You will tell me if this starts to make you unhappy?"

I nod. Maybe it's the fact that he's trying so very hard to make this work, or maybe it's the psychological factor of the gloves separating us, but this isn't so bad. It's actually stirring the first hints of pleasure I've felt in months.

"My beautiful Mari," he whispers, and the sound is so full of reverence that it makes goosebumps prickle up my skin. He strokes my arm again, and my nipples harden in response, sending a pulse of heat between my thighs.

"Talk to me. I like it." My gaze slides to his mouth, to his barely parted lips. "I like watching your face when you talk about me."

"You are my favorite thing to think about all day," he admits, his gaze on my breasts. "When I wake in the morning, the first thing I do is look for you. I love seeing you asleep, with your mane spread all over the furs. I like to imagine that it is spread over my chest, and that you are reaching for me."

I suck in a little breath. "I would."

"You would?"

I nod, fascinated at the heat in his gaze. He's watching me so intently, and I can feel the tension in his body. His cock presses against my hip, hard and urgent. "I'd wake you up with my mouth on your cock."

He groans, eyes closing. "That is the best of ways to awaken." His glove skims to my shoulder, caressing little circles. "Would you let me do the same for you? Wake you up with my mouth between your thighs? If things were different?"

"Oh yeah. I'd love that." I lean in close to nuzzle at his neck, but the unnatural twang of wrongness hits me again, and I pull back. Damn it. "I'd love to have you eat me out."

"Eat you…out?" T'chai sounds fascinated. "It would be my favorite meal. And this would involve your…clit, yes?"

"Yeah." I sigh, imagining all of this and squirming on his lap. "Oh, yeah."

"I like this thought," he murmurs, his tone a caress. "I would drive into you with my tongue instead of my cock. Taste you everywhere. Lick every bit of you until you are so wet that my tongue slides against your skin with ease. Your scent would be all over my face and I would taste you all day long." His gloved hand slides to one of my breasts, caressing it and then just waiting, as if seeing how I react.

It…doesn't bother me. The realization fills me with such joy that I give him a bright smile and arch against his hand. "More. I want more of that."

T'chai's breathing becomes rapid as his gloved thumb strokes over my nipple. "I want both of my hands on you, my mate. Turn and put your back against my chest. I will cradle you against me."

I'm so eager for more touching—more feeling—that I don't even pause to worry if it's a bad idea. Even if it is, we'll adjust until everything's okay again, whether it means no skin touching or sitting across the room from each other…we'll adapt. I turn in his lap, undoing the laces at my hips as I do. My leggings come loose and pile around my hips and I tug them off before I settle in against him. My back is to the front of his tunic, and I'm able to tuck my head just under his chin. He rests his hands on his knees as I wiggle against his lap, feeling the hard iron bar of his cock against my back.

"Still good?" he asks, and his rumbly, smooth voice is in my ear and making warmth spike through me.

I nod. "Still good." The sense of “wrong” is still there in the background, but I'm able to push it away by concentrating on what's right about this moment—his big, warm body pressing against mine, the subtle scent of him, and the protected feeling I have while cradled in his arms. It reminds me of how warm and cozy I feel when I hide, how safe, and the uneasy vibe is easy to ignore in this moment. I can drown it out by just thinking of how wonderful it is to be held by my strong, caring, protective, healthy mate.

T'chai's big hands slide over to my breasts again, and he cups both of them. "I am fascinated by your roundness here. How they move when you walk, and when you laugh, they bounce. It makes me want to lick them all over." His fingers focus on my nipples, teasing them to aching points through the gloves, and the feel of the leather combined with the pressure of his fingers—and the words he's whispering—are making me ache.

"Mine are not very big," I point out, panting as he tugs on the tips. Oh god, that feels so good. I haven't felt anything so good in forever. "They're just little tits."

"It is not the size that fascinates me but the way they move," he murmurs, and his mouth brushes my hair, as if he can't help rubbing his face against me. "It is how sensitive they are. How they react when I touch them. All of that fascinates me. When you laugh and your teats jiggle, it makes me want to drop to my knees and lick you."

The mental image of that is a scorchingly erotic one. "Where would you lick me?"

"Everywhere."

I moan, squirming against his thighs.

"But I would bury my face in the heat of your cunt if you let me." One big gloved hand cups my breast, flicking at my nipple even as the other trails down to my thigh. I tremble with aching need as his hand glides along the inside of my thigh. Yes, I think. Oh yes. This is good. I want this. I haven't wanted anything so badly in ages.

"T'chai," I whimper.

"I am going to touch your cunt, my Mari," he whispers in my ear.

I nod, frantic. I want that. God, how I want that.

He puts his glove on my pussy and parts my folds…and then I feel it.

I'm still dry. His glove rasps against my skin, sticking instead of gliding because I'm not wet with arousal.

I let out a whimper of sheer frustration and try to push his hand away. "It's not working—"

"Shhh," he comforts me, his arm locking around my waist in a hug. He pushes his face against my hair and his other hand cups my pussy, as if holding it can somehow wake it up. "Do not be upset, Mari."

"How can I not be upset?" Angry tears threaten behind my eyes, pricking.

"Because it felt good, did it not? You liked my words, yes? You liked my touches?" When I nod, he presses a kiss in my hair. "That is progress, then. We will take it in small steps if we must. If I cannot make you come, then let me hold you."

With a little sigh, I relax against him, frustrated. "I just…want things to be better."

He chuckles, and I love the fan of his breath against my hair, my skin. "It is not a bad thing to want. But do not let it pull you away from finding the good. I like touching you. I do not care if I must wear gloves. If it makes you feel good, then I will gladly do so."

"But I wanted more." I realize how petulant I sound, but I can't seem to help myself. I'm just so…disappointed. I let myself hope again, and it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under me once more.

"Do you have more of the herbs that F'rli gave you?"

"Ugh. No." I shake my head, blanching at the memory of the bitter taste. "They didn't work, either. Maybe my pussy will never get wet again."

He makes a sound of sympathy in my hair, his hand stroking my breast again and teasing at my nipple. My body still responds, sending an aching surge through me, and I whimper with frustration.

"If your cunt is not wet, what if I am?" T'chai asks.

"What do you mean?"

"What if I wet my glove? And then I rub you?" He presses another kiss in my hair. "Would that make you uncomfortable?"

Lube.

Of course. Dios mio, I'm such an idiot. There's got to be something we can use for lube around here. Lube is such a smart answer—it's made for situations like this. Don't older women have issues with dryness and have to use stuff like that? I've never had a problem getting aroused in the past, but maybe that's been working against me. I've assumed my body will always respond the way it has, instead of working with what I've got. I head for the little jars I have neatly arranged on a low driftwood shelf in the corner. Nadine gave me some lotion for dry skin the other day…I pull the little pot out with triumph. It doesn't have any scent in it because the one she had made me sneeze, so she had a bit put aside without anything in it. The lotion is a bit of animal fat and some plant stuff, but I don't care.

If it greases me up, that's all I need.

I return to T'chai's arms and press the small pot into his hands. "This. Use this."

He sniffs the small pot as I settle into his arms again, and then digs a finger into the lotion, coating his glove with a liberal amount. I want to protest that he's using too much, that stuff like that isn't easy to make and represents hours of work. But then he rubs his mouth against my hair and tosses the pot aside, and his hand is between my thighs again.

I hold my breath, spreading my legs wider. My eyes are squeezed shut, because I'm afraid that this won't do the trick, either. It won't feel good enough to give me the release that I need— and I suspect he needs, too. Everything in me tenses as he eases a finger along my folds, and then pauses. "I do not know how to touch you here. What do you like?"

I want to give him the trite old line of “I like all of it, everything is good,” but in this case, it's about making me come, not about easing his worries. So I take his gloved hand in mine and show him my clit. "I usually rub this to come," I tell him. "The sides of it. And I put a finger inside me, too."

He studies his glove. "No fingers inside you with this on, I think."

"Just touch my clit," I reassure him. "If I can come, that will do the trick." I hope. God, I hope.

I shift uneasily as he begins to touch me, looking for just the right reaction. His fingers glide over my clit, slippery with lotion, and I let out a pent-up breath because that feels…good. I relax a little, easing back against him, enjoying the stroking of his glove against my most sensitive parts.

To my surprise, T'chai lightly taps his finger against my clit. I jerk, surprised at the sensation that rockets through me. "Oh."

"Should I stop?"

I shake my head. "N-no." I squirm against his legs, digging my fingers into his leathers as he rubs my clit with small, tight strokes, finding a pattern that makes my breathing erratic and my body restless. I rock against his hand, helpless to do anything but follow the sensations. I need this. I need this. I need this.

T'chai leans in so close, his breath whispering against my ear. "You are wet now. So wet and slippery. Is this good? Or should I stop?"

I let out a low cry and put my hand over his, silent encouragement that he should keep going.

He rumbles with pleasure, his glove moving faster as it glides over my now slick pussy. I grind against his movements, panting, needy, chasing the build of an orgasm. I can feel it, just teetering at the edge of things, but it doesn't come right away. The more he touches me, the more it feels as if it keeps building, but nothing is happening. I'm just needy and full of yearning and I can't get there.

My frustration mounts, and I'm about to give up when T'chai's teeth graze my ear. "Look at how beautiful you are, my perfect mate. Listen to the wet sounds your cunt makes for my hand. You please me so much, my Mari." And he nips at the shell of my ear.

It's that small bite—and his words—that wring out the smallest, most hard-fought orgasm ever. It's not pretty or graceful or perfect, but it's mine and it's the first one I've had in a long, long time, and I wheeze as I clench and shudder with my body's response. It feels brutal as it courses through me, as if my body's protesting this response, but when everything finally unclenches, I feel drained. Relaxed.

Satisfied. Finally.

I feel like I've accomplished something again, as silly as that sounds. Like I've regained a piece of me that was missing.

T'chai nuzzles at my hair. "I am so proud of you."

It's ridiculous. I know it's ridiculous, but for some reason, his words fill me with emotion, and a sob chokes from my throat.

"Shhh. I have you." T'chai wraps his arms around me, holding me in a bear hug against his chest. "You did very well, my mate. You have nothing to be upset over."

I just keep crying, holding onto his arms. I don't even care that my cootie is sending skitters of wrongwrongwrong through me, like his scent is a bit too much, his touch a little too possessive. This is a release, and one I didn't realize I needed so badly until now. So I cry, getting out all of the pent-up emotion out of my system, until my tears are spent and I'm hiccupping and exhausted, curled in his arms. And T'chai—the world's most patient male—just holds me and supports me.

We can make this work. We can. If we have to use gloves and creativity, we'll do it. Whatever it takes, we can still be a team. That makes me happy. So happy. A weight feels as if it's lifting off my shoulders, and I press a kiss to T'chai's arm. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure." He nuzzles at my hair again, all touchy-feely, and I realize I'm still resting against his very erect cock as it presses against my back.

For the first time in a very long time, I actually want to touch him back. I don't mind the caresses, the snuggles, any of it. I feel good, and loose, and I want to do the same for him. So I tug at his glove, and when I pull it off his hand, I put it on mine.

He chuckles at the size of it, dwarfing my hand. "I think you need one more your size."

"This one will do just fine for what I want," I say lightly, and get to my knees. I turn around so I'm facing him, and as I do, I get the pot of lotion and add a generous smear onto the palm of the glove, greasing it up. T'chai watches me with hungry, fascinated eyes as I reach for the laces on his leggings with my free hand.

"You want to…" he asks.

"Yes." I tug his leggings down, exposing the hard length of him. He's a fascinating deeper blue here, his cock flushed with his arousal. The ridges on his length are coated with pre-cum that's dribbled down from the thick head, and he's so erect the slightest movement makes his entire length twitch in response. I consider toying with his spur before moving on to the main event, but if he's anything like, oh, every other man in the universe, he doesn't care about foreplay. He just wants my hand on his dick. So I take the glove and wrap my slick hand around his length and smile at him. "Your turn."

His eyelids flutter as if he can't quite believe what he's hearing, but the moment my hand is on him, nothing else matters. I love the shudder of his breath and the way he reaches for me, as if he needs to touch me even as I pleasure him. I run the glove up and down his ribbed shaft, greasing it up before I start a quick, rough rhythm designed to get him off. His hands curl against my shoulders, and I don't care that he's touching me without a glove. It's not about me right now, it's about him. I'm fascinated with watching his face as I work his cock, the play of emotions that moves over him, the blatant hunger in his expression, the way his jaw tightens as he gets close.

T'chai looks up at me as he comes, his seed hot as it spatters on my lower arms and across my skin. Even though I'm working him with a glove, this feels like the most intimate moment we've ever had, and when he gives me a shy, almost hesitant smile, my heart melts all over again.

I love him, and I love this. If this is what we're meant to have, I'll take it.

17

T'CHAI

N o male has ever woken up in a better mood than me. I smile into the cold air, not caring that my breath puffs into a frozen cloud, even inside our hut. At my side, Mari is draped over my chest, her mouth slightly open in her sleep as she drools a puddle onto my tunic. We pleasured each other last night. The thought fills me with joy, and I cannot stop smiling. We pleasured each other, and then we dressed and I put new gloves on, and we held each other and talked until it was late. She slept at my side, and I do not care that I slept with layers covering every bit of my skin. I slept with my mate, and she did not pull away, and that is all that matters.

I roll onto my side and wrap myself around her, tucking her close for just a bit longer. Mari yawns and twitches against me, then rolls onto her back, smacking her lips. "Bring me back some food?"

"Are you sleeping in?"

"Mmm." She pushes her face a little deeper into the blankets and I envy them. I want to be the one she buries herself against. But I can bring her food, at least.

I touch her one last time, not minding that I am wearing gloves to do so, rubbing her hips and bottom until she smiles in her sleep. Once I see that, I reluctantly pull myself from the furs and build a small fire so it will not be cold when she emerges from our nest. I think of last night, my heart filled with warmth, and realize there is much to do today. I must talk to A'tar about flying us to the village when he takes T'ia there. I must let R'jaal know Mari and I will be leaving, and that I do not know when we will return.

And I must pack our things for our trip. My mate will need furs and food supplies, a weapon, new boots, and we will both need more gloves. Lots and lots of gloves.

I pull on my layers of clothing, fumbling with the ties on my boots before giving up and leaving them behind. I do not want to wake my mate just to adjust the ties for me; I will just have cold feet this morning. I head out of the hut and the cold air hits my face like a slap. My feet are cold, but it is not so bad. I jog over the sand, ignoring the chill as I head for the fire. Bek is there with his mate, feeding her bits of something as she leans against his shoulder. Buh-brukh and H'rlow are at the fire with S'teph, making root and meat cakes for everyone. It still amazes me that to feed my mate, all I must do is come to the fire and food will be provided. R'hosh has explained to me before that some of the females do not enjoy hunting, and everyone must do their share, so they cook or spend time around the fire sewing or working on skins. The females like Leezh and N'deen do not cook because they hunt. I know my Mari has done a bit of both, and I wonder if she enjoys hunting. Maybe we will hunt together at the new village.

I like that thought.

I eat three of the cakes by the fire, listening to the females talk about something they miss from home called a star-buck. There is hot shrimp tea, but I do not enjoy it like the females do. I eat one more cake when it is offered to me—never pass up on food—and then ask for a meal for my mate. S'teph puts a few steaming cakes into a woven bowl for me, and I jog back to the hut. Mari is still asleep, so I get my heavy log and head for the shore to get my strength-building in. My hand feels tight after last night, my smallest finger tingling and weak, so I work on stretches and closing my hand around a fist-sized rock between rounds. It is a cold, blustery morning, and there is no sign of the twin suns. They are hidden by clouds, and the air carries hints of ice in the breeze.

Yet…I am still happy. It is a good day, for all that the weather frowns down on us.

"Ho," a familiar voice calls as I heft the large chunk of wood over my head in repetitive motions. I turn, holding it high, and see A'tar, dressed in nothing more than a pair of leggings. His feet are bare, too, but I suspect it is because the cold does not bother him, just like the sa-khui. He grins at the sight of me, showing a mouth full of sharp teeth. "You are looking stronger. My mate will be very pleased you are so healthy. She takes it as personal pride when the tribe thrives."

I lower the chunk of wood to the ground, then heft it up to my shoulder and over my head once more. "The wood feels lighter every day. Soon I will need a larger piece."

A'tar laughs. "Just lift your mate instead."

Not a bad idea. "It is good that you are here this morning. I must speak with you." When A'tar crosses his arms over his chest and tilts his head, listening, I continue. "My mate wants to go with you when you take T'ia to the other village. And of course, I will go with her."

"You do?" His eyes narrow.

"Yes. I know your mate has done everything she can for my Mari, but her khui is still silent, and it distresses her. She wishes to speak to the other healer and see if she has ideas." When A'tar's mouth flattens, I realize how it must sound. "Your V'ronca saved my life and we are grateful. I hope you do not see this as an insult to her. It is not meant as that."

He nods slowly, expression thoughtful as he gazes out at the rolling waves. "I understand. My mate has said before that the other healer is stronger than her…but I think she will still be wounded. She hates that she cannot be more help to your female. Perhaps this will be good for both of them." He shrugs. "I will say no unless my mate agrees, of course."

I grunt. His answer irritates me, but I understand it. One of A'tar's duties for the tribe is to fly. If I went fishing and my mate did not want me to take O'jek with me, I would not, because I value how she feels.

Even so, I will not let this stop us. If V'ronca tries to stop us from going, we will travel by foot through the blizzard-coated passes if that is what it takes. Nothing matters except trying everything we can to make Mari happy.

"Veronica will want what is best for your mate, of course." He gets a distant expression on his face. "She says she is fine with it."

I frown at him. "We have not asked her yet."

"Of course." He gives me another toothy grin. "Do you wish to talk to her? She is awake now."

I return my wood block to just outside my hut and then follow the larger male as he heads for the tent he shares with his mate. They are at the top of the sloped encampment, near the cliffs that lead toward the snowy valleys. They have not chosen to make a hut yet, but the tent they share is large and spacious, with an ante-chamber set up for the healer to do her work and still have a private area to herself. I know, because I spent many weeks in that first chamber when I first arrived here, weak and puking, as my body worked to pull itself together again. Those days were bad…but Mari was there the whole time, and so I do not look at them with sadness.

As if she can hear her mate's thoughts, V'ronca emerges from her tent as we approach. She wears a pale leather tunic this day, belted under her teats, and the rounded bulge of her belly is prominent. I pause, surprised, because I do not remember his mate being so very…pregnant. Many of the females on this beach are now carrying kits thanks to resonance, but none are quite as large as V'ronca. Even L'ren is still very flat in the stomach. Bek's mate E'lly has a rounded stomach, but she has been carrying for a while.

A'tar notices my confusion and laughs, clapping a hand on my shoulder. "My kind do not carry for nearly as long as your kind. My sweet Veronica will be on our third child before the first islander's child is born." He sounds so proud.

"Uh, excuse me?" V'ronca calls with a laugh. "Who says I want to shoot out three dragon babies in a freaking row? Can we start with one first, please?" She rubs her stomach and gives me a friendly smile. "Good to see you this morning, T'chai. How are you feeling?"

Her mate moves to her side, putting a possessive hand on her neck as he touches her belly. She slides a little closer to him.

"I am well," I say, flexing my bad hand. "Some tingling, but stronger every day."

V'ronca puts her hand out. "Can I see?"

"It is nothing. I came to speak of my mate, actually." She keeps her hand out and reluctantly I hold mine out so she can check it as I speak. "She wishes to go visit the other village and talk to the healer there."

"I understand." She closes her eyes for a brief moment and then smiles. "Everything is healing nicely. Just don't overdo it." Her expression turns playful. "I gave your khui a little bit of a nudge anyhow. Let me know if your hand feels worse."

My hand is the least of my concerns right now. "My mate," I begin again.

"Oooh, right." V'ronca looks up at her mate. "I think it's a good idea to talk to Maylak. The flight won't be fun—it's awful cold right now. I don't like that Ashtar's going at all, but if he goes, then I'm going, too."

"The cold does not bother me like it does you," he murmurs, rubbing her neck. "We will bundle you up in so many layers you will be unrecognizable…unless you would rather stay."

She shoots him a look. "You know the answer to that."

"I do."

I clear my throat, not wanting to interrupt their playful banter, but also not wanting to be stuck watching it all morning. Mari will be waking soon, and I want to give her the news. "You do not mind that we wish to see the other healer?"

V'ronca shakes her head. "Maylak knows a lot more than I do. She's had her powers for a lot longer. I'm a little upset I couldn't fix things, but if she can help out and I can learn what she does, I'm fine with that." Her expression grows uneasy. "I just…don't know if she'll have an answer for you. There might not be anything that can be done."

It is something I have considered. "It will still be good for Mari to get away from the others, I think. They watch both of us very closely."

V'ronca makes a sympathetic sound in her throat. "I know how that is. Everyone watched Ashtar and I like hawks when we first resonated, wondering when we were going to 'do it.' It's damn awkward."

"If we leave tomorrow at dawn," Ashtar says to me, "will you be ready?"

I nod. "We will be packed and waiting."

"Bring furs," he says. "Twice as many as you think you will need. The air is twice as cold when you are up high, and it rips through blankets easily."

His mate rubs her belly. "I'll talk to Tia, too, make sure she's ready." She hesitates and then adds, "And I'll talk to Harlow and Liz, to make sure that Tia actually is ready." The female grimaces. "Tia's not taking it so well. She feels like she is being exiled."

I shrug. Is she not? She is being taken away from those she knows because she causes too much trouble. "We could always send Shadow Cat away instead."

"And Sessah? And R'jaal?" V'ronca raises her eyebrows. "I'll be the first to say we shouldn't blame the victim, but there's one common denominator here, and it's not I'rec, much as I dislike the guy." She shrugs and sidles a little closer to her mate, leaning against his bare chest. "You know what they say, though—not my circus, not my monkeys. We're the local transportation, that's all. It's Raahosh's call."

A'tar casually loops an arm around his mate's shoulders as he watches me. "With Tia gone, the games will probably start again. You might miss your chance to win one of knives. Will that upset you?"

"No, I—" I break off as the male, B'ek, comes running up, a fierce scowl on his face. "What is it? What is wrong?"

"Ash-tar is needed," Bek says. "Another rock has been dropped from the sky by Mar-dock's people."

18

T'CHAI

T  here is great excitement amongst the tribe as A'tar, B'ek and I bring the new “rock” back to the beach camp. The dragon man flew us in his claws to the location provided, and we secured it with straps so he could fly it back. Bek is not thrilled with the arrival of the new package from the skies.

"The last one has caused enough trouble," he grumbled as we tied strong leather thongs to secure the lid. "Do we truly need these knives so much?"

I say nothing, but secretly, I am worried. This “rock” does not look the same as the last one. The color is dark and opaque, and the edges are rounded instead of squared. I am reminded of R'jaal's excited voice when he exclaimed that he found my Mari in an “egg” that washed up on shore.

This rock looks very much like an egg, and I worry it does not contain knives at all.

A'tar sets it down amidst the growing crowd, and I search the gathered faces on the sands for my mate. She is there, near the back of the group as always, a cup of hot beverage in her hands. I push through the group, heading toward her, because nothing is as important to me as seeing her smile and breathing in her scent. I do not care if this new rock carries a hundred knives. All that matters is my mate, and knowing that I have good news for her.

She smiles up at me, her cheeks flushed with the chill in the air, and I fight the urge to grab her and hold her against my chest possessively. Mine. All mine. It does not matter what my khui thinks in this moment. I know in my heart that this is the only female for me. "Did you sleep well?" I want to caress her face but reach for a lock of her mane instead, twisting it around my fingers.

"Very well." She nudges my leg with her foot. "Where are your boots?"

"I did not want to wake you up just to tie them for me."

Her brows furrow and she chuckles. "So you've been wandering around in the snows with no shoes on? Aren't you cold?"

I have been so distracted that I did not notice. Perhaps I am getting used to the cold air here after all. I shrug and tuck her layers closer to her, fussing protectively over my mate. "I am not cold, no. Are you?"

She shakes her head and steps a little closer to me, taking my arm and putting it around her shoulders. My chest swells with pleasure and pride, and she fits perfectly just under my arm. "No. Did you find that? The trunk?"

I shake my head. "One of the hunters checking his traps found it and came back to camp. B'ek and I were already with A'tar, so we helped him secure it to carry back."

She licks her lips and gives me a nervous look, leaning in to whisper. "It doesn't look like the other trunk. It looks like a stasis pod."

I nod. "I thought the same thing. We will see what M'dok says."

Many of the males are talking eagerly, but I see unease on the faces of many of the females. R'hosh's mate holds her new child to her teat and keeps the others close to her legs, her mouth in a flat line of distress. She whispers to H'rlow, who stands nearby with her baby in a sling. I do not think they are pleased with the gift left for us this time.

F'rli and M'dok are eventually found and the sa-khui female looks eagerly at her mate, her pet dvisti at her side. "Ni-ree has left you another gift!"

"More knives?" O'jek asks, sharing a look with A'tam.

But M'dok just rubs his jaw and shakes his head. "That's not a gift package. That's a stasis pod." He runs a hand down his face. "Niri, you asshole."

"So your buddy sent us someone?" Leezh asks, speaking up as her mate approaches, a few steps behind M'dok. "I think I speak for everyone when I say 'Hey, what the fuck?'"

"She must have a reason," M'dok says, undoing some of the leather straps across the lid. "I hope." His hand skims over the surface and then a light begins to flash. "There's a message, at least."

F'rli is immediately at her mate's side, touching his arm in a supportive gesture. "What does it say?"

I hug my mate a little closer. F'rli is giving her mate a protective look, and I realize that these messages must be distressing for him. I try to imagine how I would feel if I received gifts from my lost clan back on the island. It would be a reminder of all the hurt and loss each time. I do not think I would like it.

Mari nudges me with her elbow, turning her face up to me. "You okay?" she whispers, worry on her face.

I nod.

Before I can say anything, there's a crackling sound and then an unfamiliar female voice fills the air even as a shimmering image of an older female appears just over the rock. "Don't kill me, Mardok. I'm just doing a friend a favor. She needed a place to drop off the radar entirely. Treat her well, okay? She's a good kid. I'll bring you more food and supplies on the next run. Hope you and that female of yours are doing okay. Tell her I said hello."

"Hello!" F'rli calls out to the voice, smiling.

"She can't hear you," M'dok tells his mate. "It's a message."

"But she said hello." F'rli gives him a puzzled look.

M'dok's mouth twitches and he gives his mate a look of pure affection. "Let's just open this and see who's arrived." He taps his fingers on the rock, and then hesitates, looking over at R'hosh. "Should we?"

The male with the crumpled horn gestures impatiently. "What is one more mouth to feed? As long as they will not be a danger to those here, I do not care."

"If the newcomer is female, we should open it," R'jaal says eagerly. Too eagerly. "All are welcome here." He takes a few steps forward, his gaze locked on the pod. "Surely we cannot turn a female away."

"I bet if it was a guy in there, he'd be singing a different tune," Mari murmurs to me. "He wouldn't want the competition for a mate."

It is on my lips to protest this, but R'jaal watches M'dok and the pod with glittering, fervent eyes. Mari is right. He sees this as a hope for a mate. With T'ia going to the other village, he and the other single males will be even more desperate to gain resonance. I do not know if it is a good thing that there is another female, or if this will bring even more trouble than T'ia's endless teasing.

I hope this new female resonates to someone and quickly, so there is no anger or competitive fights over her smiles. Perhaps she will be ugly, I think unfairly. A female like the male Gren, who is covered in fur and has a hulking, brutish form. But…even if she were the most unpleasant-looking female on the planet, it would not matter. If she resonated to R'jaal, he would be so filled with joy that nothing else would matter. He would feel complete, because he finally had the mate he has longed for.

I hold my breath as M'dok touches the lid and something beeps. The lid hisses and moves to the side with a rush of air. Mari's hand clutches my waist tightly, and I forget all about this new female as my own mate moves closer to me and her scent fills my nose. Just yesterday, she moved away when I tried to hold her hand. We have come so far in one day—

"Help her sit up," M'dok says, and there is a rush as the males race forward to help out. R'jaal is there, and S'ssah, and O'jek, all scrambling to be the first one the new female looks at. Mari leans forward, too, craning her neck to see as another steps in front of us.

"Oh wow," says a new, young voice. "Hi."

"Hello," F'rli calls out loudly, leaning over the pod.

There's a soft noise. "I think I'm gonna puke. Stasis does not agree with me."

M'dok gestures and the others take a few steps back, even as the new human female sits up. She seems to be of a similar age to the others, with a long mane the color of a pale sunset and a round face. She holds a hand over her mouth until she's out of the pod, and then leans against it heavily.

"You all right?"

She nods, sucking in deep breaths of air. "I just needed a moment, thanks." She blinks at all of us, her eyes strangely colorless and without the khui blue of life. Her smile widens. "Hello to everyone." She looks around her, and then shivers. "Whew, Niri said it was cold here, but I don't think I was ready for this kind of chill. It's colder than a witch's tit out here." She rubs her arms, covered in a thick, strange-colored leather.

"Niri sent you here?" M'dok asks in a calm voice as F'rli immediately takes off the short fur cape she was wearing and offers it to the female.

The new human looks startled at F'rli's clothing—a few necklaces and a loincloth, and then beams at her. "You must be Farli. Niri said so many nice things about you and Mardok. I'm Daisy."

"Now I know you're lying," M'dok says, chuckling. "Niri never had a nice thing to say about anyone."

The female smiles from under the cape and shivers, looking around. "So this is home now?"

"Is it? We're trying to figure out why Niri sent you." M'dok glances over at R'hosh. "Not that you're not welcome, of course. You are. We're just surprised to see you."

"Very welcome," S'ssah adds, and pulls his cloak off and holds it out to the female, too. There is an adoring look on his youthful face. "Our tribe is better today now that you are in it."

"Hoo boy," I hear a female mutter nearby.

O'jek shoulders his way forward and offers his cloak, frowning at S'ssah. The two males shove each other, as if there is not enough room on the beach for both of them, and Mari makes a noise of disgust in her throat. They are acting like fools, but I say nothing. I might be just as desperate if my mate was not in my arms. I understand their excitement.

The female takes the furs piled on her and gives everyone a small smile, her teeth chattering. "I'm sorry to surprise you. Niri said you guys had taken in human refugees? Was she wrong? She said this was a safe place to come, just that I wouldn't be able to leave." Daisy looks uncertain, glancing around at the tribe.

"Of course you're welcome," H'rlow steps forward, handing her infant to her mate and patting the head of Rukhar before moving toward Daisy's side. "This must all be very overwhelming. Come to the fire. We can get you some hot tea and you can tell us why you decided to come here." She gives Daisy a sympathetic look. "And you'll get used to the cold—"

"Damn, Harlow, don't lie to her," another female calls out. F'lor, I think. She is the one that offered to tend to R'jaal when he fought with I'rec. "The cold is permanent, honey. The cootie makes it better, though."

"The parasite, right." Daisy looks uncertain and just a little scared. "Niri mentioned that."

"Come on," Leezh says. "Everyone quit crowding her. Let's let her sit by the fire and she can tell us why she had Niri take her here instead of Earth."

"No one goes to Earth, remember?" someone calls out. "That wasn't an option."

"Niri's a pirate. She can do whatever the fuck she wants." Leezh adjusts the furs swaddled around her infant. "But okay, sure, we'll just pretend no one ever goes there, yet more and more humans show up every damn year. Now, Sessah, once you're finished drooling, can you go get some meat so we can make a stew? I'll put on some tea. Someone help Daisy to the fire."

Daisy's small brows furrow and she looks at all of our faces. "Wait. You guys don't know?"

"Know what?" H'rlow asks in a patient, kind voice.

"Oh dear." Daisy bites her lip. "Even if Niri would take me to our solar system, there's nothing to go back to. Earth is destroyed."

19

MARI

I  can't stop crying.

It's stupid, I know, to weep over the destruction of a planet I'll never see again, but I can't seem to stop. I'm not the only one—every girl around the fire has been completely and utterly inconsolable. I can tell Daisy's devastated that she had to be the bearer of bad news—it's clear from her pretty face that she's torn up about it. At my side, Callie blows her nose in a soft bit of leather and Lauren's hands are shaking so hard as she drinks her tea that her entire cup jerks, spilling some of the liquid into her lap. T'chai stands behind me, a comforting, solid presence, and I don't mind the touch of his hands or his warmth. I'm grateful to have him to cling to, because right now I feel hollow.

Willa pushes a cup of tea into Daisy's shivering hands. She's one of the few mated women not clinging to her mate right now. Gren is hovering at the edges of the fire, no doubt trying to hide in the shadows so as not to scare Daisy with his face. "Whenever you're ready, you can tell us about all of it," Willa reassures her in a kind voice. "No one's mad at you for telling what had to be told. We're just shocked."

Daisy looks uncertain. Her gaze briefly meets mine, and even though she's wearing a bright smile, I can see she looks terrified. Of course she is. She's dependent upon everyone here for survival and she just told us the ultimate bad news. I give her a watery grin, trying to let her know that she has a friend, because I've been in her place before. It's uncomfortable to be the center of attention. She clutches the tea in her hands and studies the cup with fascination. "Is this made out of bone? Wow. Okay." Daisy thinks for a moment. "I heard the news about Earth right after I got yanked."

"Yanked?" Devi asks. She has her hand tightly laced with N'dek's, her expression grim. At her side, Elly is curled up in Bek's arms, hugging her knees as she leans against his chest.

Daisy nods, taking a sip of tea. "I was kidnapped by slavers when I was sixteen years old. That was ten years ago. At first I was upset, but then the big news about Earth hit, and I felt lucky to get away when I did. I don't have a lot of information about what happened, but the speculation on this end of the galaxy is that someone was messing around with things that should not be messed with. There was a tear in the space-time continuum. It tore a hole in the fabric of space and ate every ship near that particular solar system. Just poof, offline, and never to be seen again. When scouting vessels were sent out, all they said was that there was now an unstable rift in Earth's atmosphere and all of human civilization had vanished. I had just been pulled from Earth less than a month before, and so I remember it very clearly. I was originally going to be sold at a space station, you see, but once my captor found out that I was now a very rare species, he went directly to three of the richest merchants he knew and offered them a private auction. They bid for several weeks and at the end of it, I met my owner and later husband, Johani of House Vrexhii." Her smile grows wistful and distant. "He was a really nice guy. Praxiian. I got lucky."

"Praxiian and he was nice?" Mardok asks, a frown on his face. "That doesn't sound like any praxiian I know."

"Right? Like I said, I got lucky." Daisy drains her tea cup and immediately R'jaal is there to hand her a new one. She gives him a smile, and I realize just how pretty she is. Unlike the rest of us who have been living out in the cold wilds for the last several months, Daisy's skin is milk pale and so smooth it looks like porcelain. Her lashes are incredibly thick and her eyebrows groomed to perfection. Her hair is perfectly conditioned and smooth, a shiny red-gold that looks like a sunrise. When she takes the cup from R'jaal, I notice her fingernails are painted a light shell pink. Oh yeah, Daisy was someone's pampered pet all right.

And if the men were fighting over Tia, now it's really going to be a problem with Daisy showing up.

I glance at the single women and notice that Bridget and Flordeliza have closed-off expressions. I can't see Raven, who's off to the side, but Tia seems ready to murder Daisy. Steph looks like she's trying to psychoanalyze Daisy, and Sam, well, Sam's really the only one that doesn't look completely gutted at the news of Earth's destruction. She looks almost…cheery, which is odd. Probably just a coping mechanism.

But now the women outnumber the men. It's going to add an entirely new, competitive level to the flirting that's been going on. No one's going to want to be the odd woman out. No one's going to want to be the one solitary person on the beach that has no one to resonate to…and that changes the dynamic of everything.

"So you were someone's slave?" Gail asks, rocking Z'hren as he sucks his thumb, resting against her chest.

Daisy nods, scooting just a little closer to the fire. "When I was first bought, I was terrified he would be cruel to me, but it turns out that wasn't the case." She smiles fondly. "Johani was more than three times my age. Eighty in praxiian years, which isn't terribly old to them, but seemed ancient to me. He was also very, very gay, and very in love with Sirroc, his bodyguard. Johani not having a wife of some kind was making some of his business partners very uncomfortable. Praxiians are very focused on appearances and house honor, and he couldn't marry Sirroc without becoming an outcast and losing all his business. So he bought me at a very splashy auction and paraded me around like I was his favorite plaything. Praxiians don't mate humans, but for ten years, I acted the role of Johani's mate and all of his business associates knew how fond he was of me. But recently…" She shrugs. "I've been lonely. Stir-crazy, I guess. It's nice to be pampered, but I've been missing my own kind, people to talk to that understand what it's like to be human." Her smile grows wistful. "So I talked to Johani and we asked his old friend Niri to help. Or wait, she's going by a different name now, isn't she?" Daisy looks over at Mardok, smiling.

"So Mardok's friend dumped you here because you wanted to be around humans?" Quiet Angie speaks up, her hands twisted in her lap. Her mate Vordis has baby Glory in his arms, standing behind his mate. "You were that lonely?"

"Yeah," Daisy says softly. A wistful expression comes over her face at the sight of Angie's baby. "I wanted little ones of my own. A mate. But I couldn't have that with Johani, because it would ruin his reputation. And Johani was kind, but he wasn't a big fan of children, even if I wanted to have one on my own." Her expression grows distant. "And the praxiian people can be…difficult toward humans. I was just tired of being a pretty thing to look at. Niri told me about this place, and I thought it sounded as good as anything. She said that the men here needed mates, so I thought I'd roll the dice and take my chances. Even if it doesn't work out, at least I'm among humans again." She shrugs one delicate shoulder. "So we faked my death. Now Johani can mourn me in public and he will gain a great deal of sympathy for his loss. No one will throw daughters at him or try to broker arranged marriages when he is in mourning, and he can go on living his life with Sirroc, and I can start a new one here." She looks uncertain. "If that's all right with you guys."

There's an awkward silence. The men look at Raahosh and the women avert their eyes. Tia crosses her arms.

Liz clears her throat. "Of course it's all right. I'm just sorry Earth had to go all Alderaan on us to get you here. You are very welcome, Daisy. Anything you need, the tribe will provide until you're ready to start contributing on your own."

"Wonderful." Daisy smiles, and I can't help but smile back at her when our eyes meet. She looks nice, if a little lost.

"You can stay in our hut," I chime in. "Since we won't be using it."

It feels like the entire tribe turns to look at us. "What?" Lauren asks. "What's going on?"

"We're going to visit the other tribe," I say. "For…a few things." I don't want to tell them all our business. "We've already discussed it with Veronica and Ashtar. When they go to take Tia, we're going, too."

Callie looks at me as if I've betrayed her. "For how long, chica?"

I shrug and give her a look that means that we'll talk about it later.

To my relief, T'chai speaks up. He rubs my neck as he does, the touch comforting and solid. "We will accompany T'ia, and we will tell the other humans of the news of their planet."

"Maybe Tia doesn't want to go," Tia mutters. But no one pays any attention to her, because she sounds like every other sulky teenager in the world.

"That might not be a bad idea," Harlow says, glancing over at Liz before eyeing me and then Veronica. "Break it to them gently, though."

"Of course." I'm not looking forward to delivering that message, but it distracts people from asking why I want to go. I'm sure they can figure it out, but I don't want to say it out loud. It's not their business anyhow.

"When are you going?" Liz asks, looking over at Ashtar and Veronica.

Veronica touches her mate's arm and he shrugs. He has Veronica on his lap, cradling her protectively close. "Tomorrow, if the weather permits."

"Tomorrow?" Tia chokes out. She jerks to her feet and runs from the fire, and she's immediately followed by I'rec. Something tells me tomorrow isn't quite soon enough, but it'll have to do.

"What about a khui for the new female?" Sessah asks, his face flushing as everyone turns to him. "A sa-kohtsk hunt is needed. Many great hunters will be needed to bring it down."

"I don't want to be any trouble," Daisy says mildly. "I'm sure I can wait."

"You can't, and you won't be," Liz says. "We have plenty of hunters who can bring down a sa-kohtsk, don't you worry. I'm sure we'll have lots and lots of volunteers." She casts a look at the tribe, her gaze lingering on a few of the unmated males in particular.

"I will go scouting in the morning," R'jaal says, jumping to his feet.

"You will not know what to look for. I do." Sessah draws himself to his full height and glares at R'jaal. "I will go."

"Oh boy," Brooke says in a low voice, shaking her head as she braids Taushen's long hair. "At least they're not fighting over Tia anymore."

I feel bad for poor Daisy, because an awkward silence falls over the camp. She's not used to hearing the family-like banter and constant ribbing the tribe gives one another. It's clear she feels as if she's imposing. "Truly, I don't mind waiting." She hugs the blankets closer to her chest. "I'm just ready to get out of the cold."

That settles it. I get to my feet, yawning, and tug on T'chai's hand. "Come with us, Daisy. I'll show you around our hut and we can get you some warmer clothing. You guys can work out the details of the hunt without her. She's tired and probably needs to rest."

Daisy immediately jumps to her feet, a figure rounded by an immense amount of fur layers. "Thank you…"

"Mari." I nod at her, and then touch Callie's shoulder, changing to Spanish. "I'll see you before I go and explain everything, all right?"

"Wake me up early if you have to," Callie tells me. "I want to hear everything." She gives me a worried look before tucking her head against M'tok's shoulder. "You'd better not sneak out on me."

"I won't," I promise her.

The tribe seems to take that moment to scatter. There's a few people that leave their seats, and others cluster together to gossip. Gail and Vaza get up and head to their tent, a sleeping Z'hren cradled in Gail's arms, Vaza holding her close. Others drift away, no doubt to mourn in private. A few of the hunters head for Daisy, earning an eye roll from Flor as they step over her to get to the new woman's side.

T'chai tugs on a lock of my hair. "I will speak with A'tar and make sure that we are ready to go in the morning. I will join you at the hut, my mate."

"Okay." I smile at him, because I can't seem to help myself. "Don't take too long."

"Never." He gives me an intense look that makes my skin prickle, and I wonder if it's a good prickle or a bad one. It's hard to tell, but I think it's a good one.

I grab Daisy by the elbow and drag her away before R'jaal and Sessah can crowd her. "Does everyone here speak different languages?" Daisy asks as I lead her away from the group. "My translator's picking up several different dialects."

"Oh yeah, there's the island clans, and there's us humans, and there's the gladiators, and the sa-khui who are native here. Basically it's just one big mess of languages."

"It's lovely. You all seem so close. So friendly. Everyone was touching each other around the fire." She holds the furs tighter to her.

"There's lots of mated couples here."

"It's nice. I like it." There's a wistful look on her face. "Babies, too?"

"Not so many babies yet, but give us a few months. Did Niri tell you about resonance?"

"No…what's that?"

Oh boy. As we walk, I try to explain resonance to Daisy and how it's tied in to the khui. How it'll mean babies and a lifetime mating and it'll choose someone for her. I don't mention my own mating with T'chai or the problems we've had; I just try to paint as neutral a picture as possible so Daisy can draw her own conclusions.

Daisy is, of course, utterly enchanted. "I get a soulmate and babies? This is wonderful! Does it happen immediately?"

I'm envious of her enthusiasm. She makes it sound so simple. "No. Some of the women have been here for months and haven't resonated. I've heard rumors that it won't happen at all for some people, but I think that's rare. And then of course, some people resonate the moment they get their khuis. So you might get one instantly, or you might have to wait for a long time. There's no way of knowing."

"That's all right. I'll just think of it as a future gift. How marvelous." She can't stop smiling.

Daisy's a cheerful one. She exclaims over the distant beach and the stars in the night sky. She squeals with delight over my hut, calling it “charming” and “adorable.” She's equally entranced with the contents inside and how warm it is. I can't decide if Daisy's just easily excitable…or an idiot.

"This is going to be such fun," Daisy tells me enthusiastically as I stoke the fire in the center of my hut. "This place is quite beautiful."

"It's going to be a lot of work," I warn her. "Everyone contributes and there are endless amounts of chores to be done. This isn't a ski lodge you're visiting on vacation. There's no hot water, no plumbing, no nothing you're used to."

"I know." Daisy gives me a sober look. "You probably think I'm a little crazy. It's just…for years, I've been paraded around city after city, station after station. I haven't seen a sliver of green grass since I left earth."

"You won't see grass here, either," I admit. "Ice planet and all."

"But you're outdoors in the fresh air. And you're free. And you're together. You have a community. No one's really alone." Her expression grows achingly sweet. "That's all I wanted. Someplace to belong again."

Now I just feel bad for her. I give the newcomer an understanding smile. "It's a small group, so you should know that everyone is in everyone else's business. There are very few secrets here." I poke at the fire, and then add, "And not everyone is going to be happy you're here."

"The other women, right? I saw the way some of them looked at me. They didn't look happy." Daisy gives me a shrewd look. "I'm competition, right?" When I nod, she shrugs. "I can deal with competition. I'm not here to steal anyone's man. I don't want anyone unless my khui chooses to give me a resonance." She puts a hand over her heart, a look of eagerness on her face. "I only want to be with someone who really wants me, and who won't be able to just toss me aside."

"Resonance is forever," I say…and then think of my own situation. "More or less."

"More or less?" She echoes.

"Just…forever." I shake my head. "Not important. At any rate, the others might be a little difficult around you at first, but they'll come around."

"Because we're human and we should all get along, yes?"

Sure, Daisy, whatever you say. "It takes time," I say neutrally. "And time's the one thing we have plenty of around here."

I SHOW Daisy my extra clothing and how to lace things up. I teach her how to tuck extra fur into her boots to give them added warmth, and how to layer her clothing against her body to stave off the worst of the cold. The khui will help her, but until then, she's going to be ever so slightly cold at all times, so I end up giving her most of the blankets and just stoke the fire higher than I normally would.

She goes to sleep in the bed of furs I normally stay in, and so I sit on T'chai's furs and quietly wait for him to return. Just when I think everything is quieting down, something new comes along and shakes our lives up. Part of me feels guilty that we're leaving in the morning. Tia clearly doesn't want to go. If she talks Liz and Raahosh into letting her stay, I can't demand to be taken to the other village. And Daisy needs a friend to help her out, because she's like a brand new, eager fawn ready to take on the world. She needs someone to put their arm around her shoulders and help her through the first few days here, like Lauren did for me.

I feel guilty for putting me and T'chai first. Just a little guilty. But if not now, then when? Someone's always going to resonate. Someone's always going to have a baby, or have some sort of tribal crisis. There will always be visitors showing up, like Bek and Elly did. Or Daisy might be just the first in a stream of humans that Niri drops on us. There's no way of knowing.

There's also no sense in waiting for a “better” time, just like there's no sense in waiting to see if my khui wakes up again.

I'm tired of waiting.

The door flap pulls back and T'chai enters, all heavy furs and bare feet. He gives me a questioning look and I put a finger to my lips and point at Daisy, asleep in my nest. He moves to my side silently and sits down, and I immediately begin to undress him, tugging at laces. I touch one of his feet, since I don't have to pull his boots off for him today. "Your toes are frozen. You've gotta wear shoes," I whisper to him. "Who do you think you are, Farli?"

T'chai gives me a curious look and then smiles. I don't tease him very often, I realize, and I think I should do it a lot more. I love his smile. "I will remember them next time." He glances over at Daisy's spot and back to me. "Shadow Cat clan were all very disappointed she ran away with you."

"Too bad for them." I pull a thick, woolly vest off his shoulders and toss it aside. "They do realize she's not going anywhere, right?"

He huffs in a silent laugh. "Will you think poorly of R'jaal if I say he asked to come by and visit her, as well?"

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. R'jaal is just lonely. He's the only one in his clan that hasn't resonated and has to be feeling all kinds of things about that. "Something tells me Daisy's going to be very popular for a while, and it's going to make the other girls crazy." I lick my lips as I pull off the last layer on his chest, and then he's nothing but smooth, pale blue skin. My fingers itch to touch him, but I don't, because I don't want my cootie to send that NO NO BAD signal to my head. I want to just keep enjoying this moment. "Are we…is Tia still going to the other tribe? Tomorrow morning? Or has it been called off?"

T'chai shakes his head and reaches for a lock of my hair, playing with it. His other hand rests on my lower back, and I wish he'd take me in his arms. I know why he won't, but…still. "I spoke with R'hosh and Leezh, and with A'tar and V'ronca. We are still going. They understand why we wish to go, and they feel we must. Plus, I think V'ronca does not want to be the one to tell the other humans about your world."

God, I don't blame her. I'm not sure I want to do it, either, but I'll take it on as my responsibility. It's the least I can do if we're getting a free ride in the middle of deepest winter over to the other village. "Okay." I'm suddenly nervous. What if we see the other healer—Maylak—and she can't do anything either? What if we're doomed? "T'chai—"

He shakes his head, cutting me off before I can say it. "We take what we have and we are grateful for it," he whispers. "Because at least we are together, and we are healthy."

He's right. I look over at Daisy's sleeping form and feel pity for her. Through all of this, I've had someone at my side. At first it was Lauren, shepherding me around. Then it was T'chai. Ever since we returned to this beach, others have constantly checked in to make sure we're okay. R'jaal and the others of Tall Horn have fed us and helped build our hut. Ashtar and Veronica have been supportive of T'chai's healing and my struggle with my khui. Callie's been a shoulder to lean on, and Farli and Mardok, too. I've been feeling alone, but there's been a whole community around both of us this entire time. Even when I landed, I was with sixteen other women in the same situation. Poor Daisy's here all alone.

I need to find her a buddy before we leave, and I make a mental note to talk to Callie about it.

"What troubles you?" T'chai asks at my silence.

"Just thinking about everything. You sure you want to go with me? I know I'm asking a lot." I'm suddenly nervous that I'm pulling T'chai away from his support system and asking him to come with me to the other tribe. If I decide to stay there for a while…how is that going to be fair to him?

"My mate, you do not ask too much. If anything, you never ask for enough." He studies my face and then leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. I stiffen at the caress, but it doesn't send tingles of irritation through my body this time. It just feels…benign. "Go to sleep," he whispers. "We will be awake very early and it will be a long day of travel."

"Are you coming to bed?" I ask, gesturing at the furs.

"Do you want me to sleep with you? I can make a bed elsewhere—"

I cut him off before he can even suggest more. "You're sleeping with me."

His smile fills me with warmth.

20

MARI

I t seems like I close my eyes for just a moment and then T'chai is gently shaking me. Time to start our journey. A thrill of wary anticipation curls in my belly. Please let this work. Please.

The fire has burned down to nothing, and Daisy is burrowed under the furs, still sleeping. I think about waking her up to go over how to make a fire again, but in the end, I decide to let her sleep. I'll talk to Callie and make sure she checks in on Daisy—something tells me Daisy's not going to have a moment to herself for a while, anyhow. She's going to be the most popular girl on the planet until she resonates…at least, she'll be popular with the men. I just hope the others are understanding. Like Daisy said, we're all in this together. We're all humans.

Maybe the last humans.

I swallow the knot of grief in my throat and get dressed quietly. T'chai does the same, and I lace his boots up for him, trying to show him in silence how to do a double knot. He fumbles it, then shakes his hand, and I realize it's the one with the bad tendons. I know it bothers him, but in my head, it's such a small thing. I watched him hold his guts in his hand and thought he was going to die right in front of me. I don't care if his hand doesn't work perfect. So I playfully flick his hand aside and tease him, instead. "Don't take my wifely duties away. That's my job."

His eyes flare with heat, and I think about his lotion-slicked glove, and a hot tingle of warmth rushes through me. We finish dressing, and we help put on each other's gloves, and he has to pull out new ones. I can tell we're both thinking about that night, and I'm blushing as he finishes tying my glove on my hand.

"Do you have another pair packed?" I ask. "Just in case?"

"In case?"

"In case the healing doesn't work. I still want…us."

There's such warmth and affection in his gaze that I want to revel in it. "I want us, too." And he puts another pair in the leather pack that's already brimming with our stuff.

I think about “us” and what it means as we leave the hut behind, and a still-sleeping Daisy. We stop by the huts of the other Tall Horn clans members, and I explain to Callie and Penny about Daisy and how she's going to need people helping her. Penny's eager to volunteer, but Callie—my fiery, takes-no-shit friend—only gives me a skeptical look.

"You sure about this, amiga?"

I nod quickly. "If there's a chance to fix this, I want to try."

She purses her lips and pulls me away from the others. "I just…I don't want you making yourself even more unhappy. Ves burro y se te antoja viaje."

It's a saying that fills me with a pang of grief, because it's something my parents said all the time. You see a donkey and want to go traveling. She's saying I'm upset with what I have just because I'm comparing myself to others. Maybe she's right. Even so…I want to try. "Easy for you to say," I tell her in Spanish. "You're not the one with the bad cootie."

"Is yours bad?" She taps my chest, right over my heart. "Because you're alive. So maybe it's not all that bad, hm? I'm just saying, don't sell yourself so short. It's not perfect, but what is?" She puts her hands on my shoulders and shakes her head. "I'm not lecturing you, chica. I just want you to be happy, okay? Just don't set yourself up for disappointment. You love him and he loves you. Everything else will figure itself out."

I nod, but she doesn't understand. She doesn't know what it feels like. "Just look out for Daisy for me, will you?"

She agrees, and then I pull T'chai away before I can change my mind about this trip. It's just a visit to the healer. That's all it is. We're just seeing if we can be fixed. That's all. Nothing more.

TIA SOBS OPENLY as Ashtar's saddle is fitted and bags packed onto the dragon's back. "I don't want to go," she cries, clearly upset. "I want to stay."

Liz and Raahosh are here to see us off, along with R'jaal and Sessah. The men strap packs onto Ashtar and pile blankets into the “sidecar” baskets on the dragon's side for the passengers to sit in. I'm not entirely sure I'm thrilled about riding in one of those baskets all day, but it's too late to change my mind. I'm not going to let an uncomfortable ride keep me from what needs to happen. T'chai is at my side, tightening my furs and fussing over my layers, as the wind is crisp and biting today.

"Please don't make me go," Tia whines to Liz. The mated woman looks visibly upset at Tia's distress, but she shakes her head. "Everyone's going to forget me!" Tia weeps, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm going to come back and there will be no one left to mate to!"

"Is that all you're worried about?" Liz asks, exasperated. "Seriously?"

Sessah glances backward at Tia, and if anything, he looks more upset that she's leaving than Tia does.

"Everyone's been resonating," Tia continues. "If I'm not here and Daisy is, she's going to take my spot. It's not fair!"

"You're seventeen," Liz protests.

"I'm an adult!"

T'chai makes a noise in his throat that might be amusement…or scoffing. I pull him close and fix the laces on the cloak at his neck. "Be nice," I whisper. "She's upset."

He leans closer. "She sounds like Z'hren when his food is late."

When Tia lets out another wail, I stifle a giggle of my own. Okay, she IS being a little dramatic. Still, I'm trying to remember what it was like for me at seventeen. Plus, she's leaving everyone she knows behind. That has to suck.

"I don't want to be the one left alone," Tia sobs. "Someone's going to get left out in the cold and it's going to be me."

Liz puts her hands on Tia's shoulders and leans in until her face is inches away from Tia's. "Okay. If we take you back onto that beach so you can mate someone right now, Miss Adult, who's it going to be? You only get one guy and you tell the others you're sorry, and then you stick with this one guy until you both call it quits or resonance steps in. So, tell me who it's going to be."

I notice Sessah gets very still. He's not looking over at Tia, but I can tell he's listening to every single word.

Tia swallows hard and everyone turns to watch her, to see who she picks. I kind of wonder if she's going to say I'rec, who's brash and confident and older than her, or if she's going to realize Sessah has been in love with her like an overgrown puppy…or if she'll pick someone totally random. Maybe O'jek or U'dron? Not U'dron, I don't think. He was entranced by Tia's antics for a while, but he's smitten with Raven right now. And R'jaal only tolerates Tia's flirting until she moves on to the next target.

"I can't just pick someone," Tia says uncomfortably. "Why should I have to choose? I don't flirt with anyone mated. We're just having fun."

T'chai grunts softly. "She thinks in picking one, she loses them all."

Liz just gives Tia an exasperated look. "I knew you—" She stops, because Sessah throws down the straps he's working on and storms away. A mom look of sympathy crosses Liz's face, and Tia looks stricken as he leaves. "You see," Liz continues, her tone gentle. "You think it's fun. You just want to flirt and have a good time. But it's not just fun to them. They don't know how to handle it. They don't know how to be casual. They see a girl and think 'mate' and 'forever.' And you can't flirt with all of them because we can't have half the tribe at each other's throats."

"So I'm being punished because they don't know how to flirt?" Tia looks as if she's ready to start crying again. "How is that fair?"

Liz sighs and pulls Tia against her in a hug. "Look. You're not my daughter, but I still feel like your mom, and even mom has to make tough decisions. I'm sorry, Tia." Her eyes look suspiciously wet. "I know you think you're the only one being punished, but no one wants you to leave."

"Then let me stay!" Tia wails.

Liz glances over the weeping girl to her mate, who shakes his head. No matter how much Tia cries, this is needed. If she stays, the men will keep fighting. "Look," Liz says in a pleasant voice. "Croatoan has some of the best moms in the universe. I promise that you're not losing a tribe full of men, you're gaining a village full of women. You're going to get mom'ed so hard by everyone there, and you're going to love it."

"I just don't want to end up alone," Tia sobs.

Liz grimaces, rubbing Tia's back. "Look at it this way, okay? If they resonate while you're gone, you were never meant to be theirs anyhow."

"We're ready to go," Veronica says quietly, pulling on a fluffy fur hat and tying it under her chin. She pulls a thick scarf around her face and ties it, and then something that looks like a tilted sun-visor to shield her eyes from the worst of the cold wind. "Whenever you guys are."

"Are you warm enough?" T'chai asks me, patting the thick layers I'm wearing. "Do you need more?"

"I'm good." I glance over at Liz, where she's hugging Tia, and she looks so much like a mom sending her daughter away to camp for the summer that I know this can't be easy for her, no matter how good it is for the tribe. Hopefully it won't be for long. I turn back to my mate. "You? Are you warm enough?" I touch his gloved hands and try not to blush. "All covered up?"

He nods and gestures at the enormous, gold dragon lying in the snow, Veronica stroking his muzzle with one gloved hand. "Let us go and see what the other village holds for us, yes?"

I hope it holds answers. If it doesn't, I hope I have the strength to be happy with what I have. Because being with T'chai is good. Better than good…but I still remember what it was like before. Is it wrong to want that back? Is it wrong to want everything?

21

MARI

I 'm prepared for it to be a cold, miserable journey, but I think I underestimate just how cold and just how miserable. No amount of fur layers can keep out the bitterness of the chill and the way it cuts through down to the skin. I huddle against T'chai, shivering, and there's still not enough warmth. Any skin exposed to the air feels frozen instantly, and it's snowing so hard that it's like poor Ashtar is flying into a blizzard even as we glide over mountains and snowy valleys. The basket T'chai and I are curled up inside feels unstable and just a little terrifying. Whenever the wind buffets the dragon, I imagine us tipping out of the basket and falling to the ground far below.

We stop several times, because it's so cold that Veronica needs to take breaks to defrost her hands and face. Each time, we set up a small camp with Ashtar's large dragon body acting as a windbreak. He creates a fire for us with his breath and we huddle around it as the wind howls and dumps snow on us—even on the ground—and we drink tea to warm our insides.

Tia cries about how miserable it is. I want to cry, too, except I chose to come on this journey, knowing how bad the weather was. After all, the locals call it the “brutal season” and I know it's not because of heat. I'm just now realizing how harsh the weather can be away from our sheltered beach inlet, protected on the far side of the mountains. A small, wimpy part of me wants to call this off and go back, especially when T'chai's poor nose turns a deep blue from cold and he has to tuck his tail into his clothing so the tip won't freeze off.

But Veronica does not complain at all, and she's getting the worst of it. At least I've got T'chai to share body heat with—Veronica's seated atop Ashtar's back and exposed to the wind—so I say nothing at all. It won't last forever, and then we'll be in the warm village, drinking tea around a bigger fire and talking to the healer.

I need that so badly. I press my cheek against T'chai's chest as we fly and hate that my cootie sends a flare of distress through me. If it's changing its mind about him, it's taking its sweet time.

Eventually, Ashtar starts to circle lower, and Veronica shouts something over the winds. I peer over the edge of the basket despite the cold blast of air that hits my face and see it below—a long, wide, jagged rift in the ground. From the rift itself, I see the plumes of many campfires and know this must be the other village.

I'm suddenly nervous.

For better or for worse, we're getting answers tonight.

I CLING TIGHTLY to T'chai's hand as the other tribe comes out to greet us. Some faces are familiar—Vektal and Rokan, Aehako and Hassen. But there are also other sa-khui with gray hair and lined faces, and there are children everywhere. More than that, there are humans with wide smiles and eager expressions, all ready to meet us and share gossip.

My heart sinks a little that we have to be the bearers of bad news.

Georgie rushes forward, her brown, curly hair in two tails on her shoulders as she holds a hand under her pregnant belly. "You guys are crazy flying in this weather! It's the brutal season! We're glad to see you again so soon, but my goodness." She laughs, reaching out to hug me.

I hug her back, feeling awkward. Exactly when does one drop the news that your planet has been destroyed? "Oh, we had a few things going on and it seemed worth the trip."

"Look at you!" An elderly woman clucks over Veronica's rounded belly. "Where did this come from?"

"From me," Ashtar says proudly, pulling on a pair of pants behind his mate. He's transformed back to his human form, and no one blinks an eye at the fact he can go from dragon to man in no time flat.

"But you were just here not long ago and her belly was flat!" Her gaze roams over our faces, learning us. "And now you bring us more friends. I am Sevvah. You must tell me how my Sessah is doing. Did he send you all here to visit?" Her face is slate blue and when she smiles, her eyes crinkle with laugh lines. Her hair is gray and done in looping braids, and she's far more rounded and matronly than Farli, the only other sa-khui female I've seen.

"We're here because I've been kicked out," Tia says bitterly. "I'm too much of a problem."

"You haven't been kicked out," Veronica states with a frown, losing her temper for the first time since Tia started complaining. "It's just complicated and this is easier. Everyone needs to take a break and chill. Jeez, why can't you get that through your head?"

Sevvah just clucks her tongue and puts a motherly arm around Tia's shoulders. "You need tea and hot food. Come sit by the fire with me and tell me your story. I would love to hear it." Tia folds against her like a lost child, and the older sa-khui woman casts a meaningful look over at Georgie and Vektal.

Man. Not five minutes in, and Tia's being mothered…and apparently likes it. Maybe Liz was right and this is exactly what she needed.

T'chai pulls an ice-crusted cloak off of my shoulders and rubs my arms. He gives me a protective look and I realize that I'm shivering despite the fact that we're out of the wind. Count on T'chai to pay more attention to me than I do. "My mate is cold," he says in a brusque voice. "Can we all move to the fire?"

"Of course," Georgie says, and gestures that we should join them. There are people everywhere lining the little street that cuts through the village of huts, all waiting to greet us with warm smiles and excited looks. "Dinner will be ready soon and you can tell us all about what's going on at the beach."

"Oh boy," Veronica says. "It is a LOT."

"I'll bet."

DINNER IS both wonderful and exhausting. A nice woman named Stacy cooks us all kinds of treats that she's been trying out, and my favorite are sweet, root-based cakes that remind me a bit of tamales rosas, minus the raisins. There's tons of conversation and people to meet, and every child in the village seems to want to hug us. Tia's lap is constantly full with one child or another, and despite her constant streams of tears earlier today, she looks like she's having a wonderful time. Sevvah fusses over her all night and a few of the other women take that cue. I think Liz was right when she said Tia would be mothered by everyone here. Even now, a woman named Claire holds up pieces of a tunic to Tia's chest, fitting her while Tia bounces a toddler on her knees. It's not just that Tia's still young enough to need a mom. It's that she's human, and she's a new face. Her staying for a while will probably be the most exciting thing that's happened in this village in a while.

Veronica and Ashtar seem to be comfortable in their roles as news-bringers. They sit in the center of the group and eat and drink, sharing tales of who's resonated recently, Daisy's arrival, and the epic tale of Old Grandfather's defeat. To my surprise, Liz and Harlow have sent along a small care package that Veronica produces from her pack—inside are a few of the precious packages of sweets that Niri sent and one of the metal knives that are so prized. Everyone's in awe at the gift.

Everyone except my mate, of course. He just smiles wryly at me and leans over as I nibble on another one of Stacy's sweet root-cakes. "When I'rec finds out that one of the knives was sent here, he is going to explode like the top of the Great Smoking Mountain."

I have to giggle at that. "I hope we're there to see it."

"Me, too." He smiles at the little girl in his lap. She's a cute kid, with blue skin and tiny horns, and she's fascinated with touching the soft down of hair on T'chai's jaw. Claire's daughter, I think. I watch him with her and it makes my heart ache at how patient he is, because I know he'd be a good father. I know he wants a family—I've never met a people more family-oriented than the sa-khui or their island counterparts, and it means all the more to T'chai because of the fact that he lost almost his entire clan to the Great Smoking Mountain ten years ago. It's important to all of them that Tall Horn not die out. I don't want to rob him of that.

"So what is this 'Day-zee' like?" a beautiful sa-khui female asks. She's got rich blue skin and the most gorgeous pair of horns. She holds a baby who's busy chewing on her own tiny fist, and this has to be Asha. Every time I see her around the fire, I'm a little stunned at how beautiful she is. I sit a little closer to T'chai, wondering if he's as dazzled at her loveliness as I am, and then I feel guilty because Asha's mated. T'chai's mated. To think I was rolling my eyes at the jealousy of the others when Daisy arrived, and here I am feeling stupid things at the sight of a pretty sa-khui female.

"Very friendly," Veronica says, dusting off her hands as she finishes eating. "Very eager to be here."

"Does she bring many stories with her?" Asha asks.

Veronica's reaching for a cup of tea, but the moment Asha's question unfolds, she drops it.

I stiffen, too, and exchange a look with Veronica. Now isn't the time to blurt out the news. It needs to be told gently and sparingly, and there's no sense in ruining everyone's mood tonight. I look over at Tia, but she's missed the question entirely. She's too busy chatting with Lila and Tiffany about something at the far end of the group. I shake my head ever-so-slightly at Veronica.

The healer yawns. "I hate to be a party pooper, but Mari and I wanted to steal some of Maylak's time. Can we talk in private for a bit?"

"Of course." At the fringes of the group, a woman in an ornately decorated tunic hands a baby to her mate and gets to her feet. She's tall and slender of build, and reminds me of a much calmer Farli. Her smile is gentle and sweet as she looks over at me, and then gestures to Veronica. "Shall we go to my hut?"

"If Mari doesn't mind being pulled away from the party," Veronica says, glancing over at me.

Mari does not mind in the damn slightest.

I'm nervous, though. My palms grow sweaty and damp. I manage a nod, but I don't trust my voice. This is the moment I've been waiting for…and I'm absolutely terrified of the answer I might get. What if Maylak can't help us, either? What if we've come all this way and my khui doesn't respond? What if I get my hopes up—and T'chai's hopes up—for absolutely nothing?

The urge to hide is overwhelming. Just get up and start running. Find a nice dark corner and wait for my brain to settle.

I must be twitching in my seat, because T'chai gently puts down the child in his lap and gets to his feet. He takes my hand and helps me stand. "We are ready."

Veronica stands and gives Ashtar a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving the group. Woodenly, I follow behind T'chai as he leads me out of the longhouse. What if this doesn't work? What if I'm broken for good? What if he's so disappointed he doesn't love me anymore? What if this is the final nail in the coffin of our relationship, when we've been working so hard to rebuild things?

I really will be like La Llorona, just wandering the beaches and weeping all day long, if that's the case.

But T'chai squeezes my hand in silent support, and my terrified thoughts calm just a little. No, I remind myself. Even if this goes nowhere, we still have something. We still have gloves, and lotion, and mutual admiration for one another. We still have each other. It can be enough, if we let it. I glance over at T'chai. He's watching me as we walk, and his face is so full of love and encouragement that it breaks me, just a little. He's here because I wanted this. He's never suggested it. He's never acted like I'm broken. He's been patient and wonderful through all of this.

"I love you," I tell him, holding tight to his hand. "I love you so much, T'chai."

"My Mari. My heart. Everything will be all right." He bends over and lifts my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles.

And for the first time, I kind of believe it. No matter what happens now, I think we'll be good.

22

T'CHAI

I  can feel Mari trembling as we enter the healer's hut. I know she is full of worry, but I am not. No matter what happens, she is my mate. It does not matter if my khui does not sing for her. I know the truth of it. In this, I have no fear.

But I want to hear good things, if only to make my mate smile again.

"There has been no progress since we last spoke?" M'lak looks to V'ronca.

"None. It's like everything I do falls into a void," V'ronca admits, her expression unhappy. "I've tried and I've tried, but I can't seem to make her khui wake up again." She makes a frustrated sound. "If I'd have known—"

M'lak raises a hand, her expression calm. "Do not tear yourself apart for a decision made to save someone. We all do the best that we can. We all have doubts. Many of my people died in a great sickness before I came into my healing. For a long time, I was angry with myself. Why did I not come into my healing sooner? If I had, would I have been able to save lives? It took me many, many turns of the seasons to be at peace with this." She reaches out and touches V'ronca's hand, and I am surprised to see that the human healer is weeping. "We do what we can to save a life, and we are not always entirely successful. This is just how the story goes. To be a healer is to always doubt you have done enough."

"It sucks," V'ronca says in a shaky voice, wiping away her tears. "I feel like I ruined Mari's life. Mari and T'chai both."

"I have a life," I say, speaking up. "With my mate at my side. Nothing is ruined." I look over at Mari and give her my proudest smile. "You will hear no complaints from my lips."

My mate gives me a sweet look. "We just want to try," she says to M'lak. "There's no harm in trying, right? It doesn't change how I feel about T'chai, or him about me."

V'ronca groans and shakes her head, swiping at her cheeks again. "And now I'm making you comfort me. God, I'm the worst. This is about Mari and T'chai. Not me. Let's just forget I said anything and concentrate on them."

"Of course." M'lak sits cross-legged next to my mate and puts her hand out for Mari to take. "This is new territory for me, as well. Resonance was so very rare before the humans arrived that even those that hated each other would still willingly go along with a mating because it meant new life, and we needed those lives so badly."

"Wellllll now I just feel worse." Veronica sighs.

"Hush," M'lak says, closing her eyes as Mari puts her hand into M'lak's larger one. "Let us see what we have."

I hold my breath as the healer quiets, unmoving. I look over at my mate, but Mari's eyes are closed, too, as if she can somehow help M'lak find answers. Each breath feels endless as we wait, and I keep my gaze locked on Mari, wanting to see some sort of response from her—a smile, a sigh, anything.

She remains tense, eyes closed.

When it seems an eternity has passed, M'lak lets out a small sigh and opens her eyes. She squeezes Mari's hand and looks over at my mate. "It is very strange."

"What?" V'ronca asks. "What did I do?"

M'lak thinks for a moment, then glances over at me. She puts her hand out and I automatically place mine in hers. Her brows furrow for a breath, and then she releases my hand again. "His khui is not as affected as hers. His is waiting for hers."

"Waiting for mine to do what?" Mari asks, her voice a whisper.

The healer makes a soft sound in her throat, then takes Mari's hand again. "All khuis sing a song to the world around them. They sing to a mate, but they are always…singing." She touches her chest. "A healer's khui sings to others so they can heal, for example. But Mar-ee's khui has no song."

"No song?" Mari echoes, blanching.

M'lak hums in her throat. "No, that is wrong. There is a song…but it has stopped singing because it can no longer hear the songs of others. That is why it is silent and confused. It has been cut off from the songs around it. It waits to hear your song again." She looks over at me. "You are still bonded to one another, but Mar-ee's khui hears nothing, so it has stopped singing."

Mari thinks for a moment and then confesses, "When T'chai touches me…I feel…wrong. Like he shouldn't be. It makes everything feel…off."

M'lak nods in understanding. "Your khui does not understand that he is your mate. It makes you feel distress because it is waiting for him."

"It makes sense, even if it sucks," Mari agrees. She looks over at me, an apology on her face. "I'm so sorry, T'chai."

My heart fills with emotion for my mate. "Why do you apologize? You cannot help it. I knew you were uncomfortable. I have always been happy to wait for you. I will wait even longer, if I must. You are worth waiting for."

Mari's eyes fill with tears, but she smiles at me.

V'ronca makes a sound of distress. "Can we fix it? This silence? So they can resonate again?"

Immediately, Mari reaches out and touches M'lak's arm. "If we can't resonate again, I just want to be able to touch T'chai." She looks over at me. "Resonance doesn't matter. Not to me."

"Nor to me," I echo softly. "All that matters is you."

"Can we do that?" Mari turns back to M'lak, curiosity on her face. "If nothing else?"

The sa-khui healer does not say yes or no. She just extends her hand to Mari again. "Let us get to work."

The hum of the healer's khui fills the hut. It hums so loud and so strong—and yet so different from resonance—that I feel it in the air. My khui is silent in my chest, but it does not feel…wrong, or unhappy. The healer's song is comforting, and when V'ronca closes her eyes and tilts her head back, I hear her khui singing along with it. The song of the healers fills the air, and Mari clutches tight to M'lak's hand.

I want to do something, but…what? There is nothing for me to do except wait, and watch.

So I study my mate instead, memorizing the lines of her lovely face. Her dark brows, the straight line of her nose, the way her mouth flexes as she thinks. The thick black lashes that flutter as the healing continues. Everything about her is impossibly perfect to me, and I smile to think of that time on the beach when M'tok looked back at me and said she was ugly. I thought he was a fool.

She has never been made for anyone but me, my Mari. In my eyes, she has always been exquisite.

As if she can hear my tender thoughts, Mari opens her eyes and the bright blue of her khui's glow spills out. She smiles at me, achingly sweet, and my chest begins to hum. I touch the front of my tunic, hoping…but it is not the frantic song of resonance. This is a gentler song, a song of greeting, a song of pleasure.

Across the small hut, Mari's khui hums back. My mate smiles wider.

M'lak opens her eyes and her expression is drained. She drops Mari's hand and gives a little sigh, reaching for a skin of water and taking a sip. "It is done."

The skin is offered around the room, and Mari takes a sip before passing it on to V'ronca, who somehow looks almost as drawn as M'lak. My mate looks radiant and healthy, as if all of their energy has been poured into her. She touches her chest and looks over at me uncertainly. "I hear it humming, but…I don't feel any different?"

When V'ronca hands the waterskin to me, I immediately give it back to M'lak, who needs it more than I do. "I do not think we are resonating," I confess, and hope my mate does not feel disappointment.

But Mari gives me a radiant smile, touching her chest. "I feel different, though. Better. More awake." She glances over at M'lak. "You did something, at least."

M'lak's smile is tired. "Vuh-ron-ca helped. Her khui sang a healing song to mine, giving me strength as I sang to yours. Yours sings as it should, now."

"Thank god," V'ronca mutters, her shoulders slumping with relief.

Mari bites her lip. "Does this mean…are we going to resonate? To one another again?"

"In time, I imagine that yes, you will," M’lak says. "It might not happen right away. Resonance cannot be predicted. You might not resonate to one another for several turns of the moon…or it might be tomorrow. It is impossible to say."

"That's fine as long as I can touch him." Mari jumps to her feet and crosses the hut to stand before me. She licks her lips, nervous, and reaches her hand out to hover over my chest. And then she hesitates, her expression becoming full of fear.

I understand. She does not want to find out that something is wrong again. She does not want that disappointment after getting her hopes up. My heart fills with love for her, and I reach out and touch a lock of her mane, twining it around my fingers. "As long as we are together, I am fine with all of it, Mari. I do not need resonance to love you."

She smiles up at me, her eyes bright, and then reaches up and cups my cheek.

Holding my breath, I keep perfectly still as she traces her fingertips along my jaw. My body responds—but then again, it always has. My response has never been the problem. The gentle song in my chest continues, and I feel warm and pleased when her song matches mine. A look of wonder crosses Mari's face, and she keeps petting my jaw, over and over again.

"You feel different," she confesses. "Better."

"No unpleasant sensation?" I ask, daring to trace my thumb across her cheek. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Never," Mari whispers, and leans over to bite the pad of my thumb even as she gazes up at me.

It is the most erotic thing I have ever seen, and a low groan escapes my throat. I want to haul my mate into my arms and carry her away to somewhere private so I can cover her and rut into her welcoming body. But we are in a strange village and I do not know this place at all. I grab my mate and pull her against me, cradling her against my chest and holding her so close that our khui songs match.

I do not care if we resonate, ever. As long as Mari smiles, I have everything I have ever wanted.

23

MARI

We thank the healer with hugs—and I hug Veronica, too, because she's been beating herself up over this for months, just like I have. "I'm just so relieved," Veronica confesses as she squeezes me over and over again. "You feel different when I touch you. More vibrant. More alive."

I feel that way, too. I turn toward T'chai, and I can't wait to touch him again. I want to kiss him all over, just because I can. It's like my libido has come roaring back, now that I can enjoy my mate once more. Whatever was wrong with my khui before, it feels practically perky now. "I'm just happy we were able to get an answer."

"Yeah, the answer is, 'Don't mess with the khui,'" Veronica jokes half-heartedly and then yawns. "God, it feels like it's been a million years since we came in here. Are you tired, Maylak?" Veronica holds a hand out to the healer, who takes it and gets to her feet.

"Very," Maylak admits. "But it is a good tired, the one that comes after a strong healing." She smiles sleepily at us. "My mate will bring our kits along shortly. Go and find Shorshie and she will help you get settled for the night. I am too drained to help."

I feel a twinge of guilt at her weariness and impulsively hug her. "Thank you, Maylak."

"Of course. It is a healer's duty to help." She touches Veronica's arm. "And it would not have been possible for me without this one's help. You have my thanks, Vuh-ron-ca."

Veronica's expression is bashful. "You're too kind." When Maylak sits down again, Veronica wobbles and then sits down, too. "I'm a little pooped. You think you could tell Ashtar to come find me?" Her eyelids are heavy, as if she's fighting sleep. Maylak looks the same.

My T'chai presses a kiss to the top of my head. "Wait here and watch over them. I will return with their mates." He disappears out of the hut, and even though I'm weary from the day's travel, I don't look as if I'm about to collapse like the two healers, so I fuss over them and tuck blankets around their bodies, handing over the waterskin and making sure they take a few sips. T'chai isn't gone long, and he's back with a handsome sa-khui man with a gentle expression, and Ashtar, who simply scoops Veronica up and carries her out of the hut.

"I have it from here," the sa-khui male says as he strokes his mate's cheek. "Mar-lenn is watching our kits for us this night." He glances up at me, where T'chai tucks a cloak around my shoulders as if I'm as helpless and tired as the healers. "Was she able to help?" I nod, and he smiles. "I am glad."

"Is she okay?" I hesitate when T'chai tries to lead me away. I don't want to leave if Maylak is struggling, not after she helped us.

Her mate just chuckles. "Oh yes. Healing is just a tiring thing. She will sleep and be back to herself in the morning."

I let T'chai lead me away, making a mental note to check in on both healers in the morning. It's the least I can do. A new face is waiting for us outside, a woman with brown hair, a rounded figure, and a warm smile. "I'm Nora. I've got some blankets for you both and you'll be staying in Bek and Elly's hut, since they're gone. Let me show you where it is."

I stifle a yawn, loving the feel of T'chai's protective hand on my shoulders. I never want him to stop touching me again. "What about Tia? Does she have someplace to stay?"

Nora just chuckles. "Oh yeah. She's fine. I think she's staying with Kate and Harrec tonight—she's in love with their pet snowcat."

"Someone has a pet snowcat?" I try to picture having one of those as a pet. I've seen them on the rare occasions that I went out hunting with others, and they're as big as cougars and twice as fluffy.

"Do you want one?" T'chai asks me. "I will get you one."

I laugh, half-terrified at the thought. "No, I think I'll pass for now. I've got enough going on."

Nora nods sympathetically. "He's definitely a handful, especially with little Thunder around the village now."

"Little Thunder?"

"Another pet dvisti," Nora says with a sigh. "Holvek's new pet. Now my girls want one, too. We're going to be overrun with critters if this keeps up."

It sounds kind of sweet to me, but I can see how it can be annoying for the parents. It sounds like there will be plenty for Tia to do here. I know she likes babies, and this village seems like baby central. I hope she doesn't get too lonely…but I'm also glad she's sleeping somewhere else tonight. I want to be alone with T'chai.

I want to touch him all over just to see how it feels.

"Here we go," Nora says briskly, and leads us to the edge of the village, to a hut at the very end of the “street.” She pulls aside the entrance flap, showing us a small, dark hut with a dead fire pit and a chilly interior. "There's a heap of blankets for you two and several fresh dirtbeak nests in the fuel basket. I left some kah for you—the spicy trail mix—and a skin full of water."

"Dirtbeak nests?" T'chai asks, his thumb rubbing a pattern against my nape, under my hair. "What is this?"

"You don't have dirtbeaks on the coast? No, I guess you wouldn't. Dagesh tells me they like the mountains. Think really big, fat pigeons who make nests out of dvisti dung. It's as gross as it sounds, but the nests make good fuel." She wrinkles her nose a little. "Never thought I'd speak so positively of poop-loving birds but here we are. If you need anything else, just come to the fire. Zolaya's brought out some sah-sah and I suspect there's going to be a few folks partying until dawn." Her eyes sparkle. "I know my Dagesh will be."

"Thank you," I tell her softly, distracted by the way T'chai's thumb pad traces circles against my skin. My entire body is pricking to life, and I'm loving it. "I'm sure we'll be fine."

Nora smiles cheerfully at us and heads out, calling something about hot breakfast at dawn, but I'm not paying a lick of attention. I'm too focused on T'chai as he steps forward and bends over the fire pit, peering at the dark contents. My body's on fire at the sight of his tight, rounded ass, and the slow twitch of his tail, and I can't take it any longer. I'm dying to just grab him and fling him down onto the nearest surface and fuck him crazy.

But T'chai—ever protective—gets the basket of fuel and hums under his breath. "Let me make a fire to warm you, my Mari. It is much colder here than in our village, and I will not have you freezing."

Fire. Sure. Fire seems practical. I clench my needy, grabby hands into fists so I don't squeeze his butt like a pervert. I revel in my sheer horniness, though. After months of feeling half-dead when I should be feeling the most alive, it's like everything's roaring back to me. I want my mate. I want to touch and lick him all over. I want to drop to my knees in front of him and drag my tongue all over his cock like a shameless wanton because I want to see the look in his eyes when I do.

Fire is important, though. Not freezing to death right after the healers busted their asses is also important. So I squirm in place, divinely aware of the heat throbbing between my thighs and the fact that I can feel how wet I am when I shift my weight. My pussy is so slick that just that particular realization is turning me on even more, and I resist the temptation to shove a hand down my pants and touch myself while T'chai fusses with the fire.

Finally, he straightens and makes a satisfied noise in his throat that would totally wet my panties if I were wearing some. His tail swishes with pleasure. "I think that will do it. Let me wash up and we will make the bed."

"Cool," I say vaguely, trying to keep my shit together. Paciencia, Marisol, I remind myself. You have the rest of your lives together. No need to get all grabby the moment things return to normal.

T'chai washes up in the water bowl on the counter of what must be their kitchen area. He dries his hands on a soft-looking towel and then turns to me, eyes glowing in the dim light. And he puts his hand out to me, a smile on his lips.

He's so damn sexy—and I'm so turned on—that I forget everything I just told myself. I rush forward and drop to my knees in front of him, my fingers scrabbling at the ties of his leather leggings. "Want these off," I pant. "Now."

T'chai's calm disappears and he groans, his hand stroking the top of my head and along the side of my face. "Mari? Are you…resonating?"

I pause, my hands on his laces, and then shake my head. "No. Just really turned on." I look up at him with sheer relief and happiness. "You would not believe how wet I am right now."

He sucks in a tight breath and his eyes grow heavy-lidded with arousal. "Let me touch you and see."

"Later. Right now I want this." I pull his leggings down, exposing his cock. It springs up to meet me, the head flushed and full, and I know I'm not the only one that's been thinking naughty thoughts. I take him by the root of his cock and drag my tongue up the thick vein on the underside of his cock, whimpering at how good he tastes. He smells incredible, all musky and wonderful, and all of the bad feelings that used to hit me when I touched him are gone. I feel nothing but desire and hunger when I lick his cock, and it's such a relief and a delight that tears prick my eyes. I take the head of him into my mouth, teasing him with my tongue and loving that his hands go to my hair, clenching me in place.

I want all of this. I want all of it a dozen times tonight. A hundred. I want to grab my mate by his horns and ride him until I pass out from exhaustion. I make a soft noise of pleasure in my throat and suck on his length like I would a popsicle, glancing up at him as I do. His eyes are blazing with heat, so beautiful as he gazes down at me.

I love you, I want to tell him, even though my mouth is full. It's not just that I can touch him right now, I think, even as I caress his sac and take him deeper into my mouth. I love the way he chokes on his breath, his body so full of need. It's that this is the same man who patiently greased up a glove to make me come, all because he wanted to give me pleasure. This is the same man that held my hand on all the days that I cried, the same man who ate a fish head because he'd given me his dinner.

I suck on the tip of him, hard, and then pull him deep, stretching my jaw until the head of his cock hits the back of my throat, and T'chai sucks in a breath. I work him with my mouth, our movements quick and furious, until T'chai can't take it any longer. He comes, shooting acrid, hot seed down my throat, and even as it spills over my tongue and down my chin, I'm so filled with joy that all I can do is laugh.

"That…" He lets out a heaving breath, tracing the head of his cock over my wet, messy lips. His gaze is utterly entranced as I lick the head of him clean. I keep licking, like a kitten, because I don't want this moment to end. "That did not last nearly long enough."

"Then it's a good thing we have all night," I murmur. "And tomorrow." I lick him again, grinning. "And the day after that. And the day after that."

"You…" He clenches a fist over his chest. "I am not resonating. Are you?"

I shake my head. I'm not. This feels different than resonance. The teeth-clenching edge of hunger isn't there. This is just me sharing my joy with my mate. "Not yet. This is just me being hungry for my mate." And I give him another teasing little lick with my tongue. "I'm not ready to be done, yet. Want to see if we can make you last longer next time?"

I love the shudder that racks through his body, along with the eagerness in his eyes.

Mine, I think fiercely, and I'm so, so glad my khui chose this male.

24

A week later

MARI

"A re you sure you want to give this to me?" I ask Megan, smoothing my hand down the pretty, pale yellow outfit I'm wearing. It's a matching tunic top and skirt, both dyed a rich, buttery shade, and there's decorative jagging along the sleeves and hemline that flutter in the slightest breeze. It might be the prettiest thing I've seen yet, and I twist and turn, admiring the zig-zag stitching along the collar and under the breasts to emphasize the figure. I feel delicate and airy, like an ice planet princess, in this thing, and I can't wait to show T'chai. He's going to love the sight.

Across the fire from me, Megan smiles and shifts on her padded seat. She's got a braided leather project in her lap, but she pauses it often to rub her lower back. "Oh yeah. I made that a few years back and it hasn't fit right since I had Holvek. The boobs and hips just aren't the same." She pats her flank with a rueful expression. "It's just sitting around, so I figured I'd save it for someone else and it looks great on you."

The leather's so soft it feels like suede—like T'chai's skin—and I can't stop petting it. "I love it. How can I thank you?"

"Pfft." Megan waves a hand. "I'm just glad someone else can use it. No thanks necessary. It's—" She pauses as her son comes barreling into the hut.

"Mama!" he bellows, holding an empty bowl. Behind him trots a little dvisti colt on three legs, the fourth tucked up tight against its furry body. It takes one look at me, bleats, and bounds over to Holvek's side. "Thunder's hungry for more, Mama!"

"Thunder just ate," Megan protests as her son hands her the bowl. "Did you not see that big bowl of mash I made right after breakfast?"

"Yes, but she's hungry again." Holvek tugs on her hand. "Help me feed her. Look at how hungry she is!"

We all look over at the dvisti colt. It bleats like a baby lamb, flutters its little tail, and then begins to squat on the floor.

Megan lets out a shriek of horror. "Holvek! Get her out of here before she pees again!" The boy rushes to grab his pet, giggling, and Megan gets to her feet. Her pregnant belly is prominent and round, though she swears she's not due for a few more months. She shakes her head at her son's delight and picks up the discarded bowl. "The only reason we haven't eaten that thing for dinner yet is because Holvek loves her so much," she whispers. "Farli housebroke Chompy easily, but I think Thunder is kind of stupid." She twirls a finger by her temples. "Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top on that one, but my boy just loves that damn thing." She sighs.

I take the bowl from her, chuckling. "Well, if I can't pay you back for the dress, at least I can cook up some food for you."

The pregnant woman gives me a grateful look and sits back down. I move over to her tiny kitchen area—something I don't really have in my hut—and get to work while we talk about the usual gossip. Everyone's surprised at how much Veronica's pregnancy is showing and who's going to have the next baby and who's resonated to who. Megan wants to know all the gossip on A'tam and Bridget, if they're still at odds (they are) and she tsks at the fighting over Tia. "If I was seventeen and it was a beach of hot men, I'd do exactly the same thing," Megan confesses. "Those guys are adults and should know better."

"I don't think they've been around enough teenage girls to know better, or it's been so long they've forgotten." I shrug, stirring the mixture I've made with her instruction. It's good to just hang around and chat about nothing at all. Everyone here in Croatoan is lovely—there's a family feel here more so than on our beach, like everyone's part of one big unit. I think about the squabbling tribes and the constant bickering back at Icehome and wonder if we'll ever get there or if we're too fractured.

The women here are fantastic, though. Over the last week that we've been here, Veronica and I have been handed tons of baby clothes to bring back to the others, an entire bundle of toys for Z'hren, and more clothing for the men, and thick blankets. There's food “treats” to be brought back, lots of the hraku seeds that taste so sweet when cooked, and more root-cake concoctions. I even have a spindle from Tiffany, who showed me how to use it. She's managed to make a pretty ugly scarf with dvisti fur, and shows me how to roll the spindle against my leg and make a soft, delicate yarn. "It's a work in progress," she'd told me, "but maybe someone on the beach can have more luck with it and we can trade ideas."

Right now, I'm at Megan's hut because she insisted on making T'chai a macrame belt. She's been working on a pattern that allows for loops for weapons and pouches, and her fingers move nimbly over the intertwined thongs. One of them is dyed red and it creates a fascinating pattern as its woven into the rest of the leather. There's so much we can learn from each other, I've realized, because the ideas one camp has aren't the same as the others. T'chai's spent a lot of time talking about fishing with the tribe here, since some of his ideas are different than theirs.

Once the weather's nicer, maybe we'll all get together and meet somewhere in the middle for a big gathering. I make a mental note to suggest that to Vektal and Georgie before we leave.

"Hmm," Megan says as I put the pot of gruel over the fire. "I have some pregnancy clothes from when I was pregnant with Holvek that don't fit anymore. Do you want them?"

I hesitate. "I…don't need them yet."

She gets up from her seat and gives me a little pat on the arm. "You will. I'll get them for you."

So confident. I bite back a laugh, because our “secret” as to why we were coming to visit the healer stayed secret for less than a day. Ever since, everyone's been hugging us and offering advice and suggestions on how to “push” resonance in the right direction. I'm sure it's all nonsense, but since the healing, I've found I don't really mind. Everyone means well and wants us to be happy; I can't be mad about that. So I endure the well-meaning conversations with a smile on my face, and it's easy to do.

Everything seems easier now.

There's no resonance yet, a week in, but my khui hums pleasantly to T'chai's every time we get close to one another, so I know it recognizes his again. I'm not in a hurry. I figure there will be plenty of time for us to have babies and truly resonate. For now, I'm just thrilled I can touch my mate again without it sending bad signals to my brain. Instead, every time I see my mate, I'm struck by how handsome he is, how tall, how broad his shoulders are, how long his hair is, and it makes me incredibly turned on. It's like my khui's making up for lost time, because I can't keep my hands off of him. Whenever we're alone together, we're kissing and touching. The extra gloves we brought aren't needed at all, because just T'chai's smile makes me wet, and all it takes to get him alone for some quick, furtive sex is eye contact and me biting my lip. The moment that happens, T'chai excuses himself from whatever conversation he's having and we race to the hut to make love.

It's like we're finally getting to have our newlywed period.

And if there's no resonance between us again, I figure it'll come. In the meantime, I'll wait for it eagerly, like a kid waiting for Christmas.

Just thinking about my handsome mate makes me miss him. I stroke my yellow dress again, thinking about how it's not quite as soft as the fuzzy feel of T'chai's skin, and the urge to find him is suddenly overwhelming. I clear my throat and look over at Megan. "I think I'm going to go find my mate. We're probably leaving tomorrow, so…I, uh, need to talk to him." I can feel myself blushing as if I'm the most obvious person in the world.

Megan just gives me a knowing look. "I'll pack those maternity clothes for you. Swing by to pick them up whenever. And tell T'chai I said hello!"

I grin and race out of her hut as if I haven't seen my mate in years, instead of just an hour or two ago. He's gone on several hunting day-trips with the other hunters of the Croatoan village, but never without saying goodbye to me first. He has to still be in the village somewhere, I suppose, and I walk at a brisk pace towards the outskirts, looking for a pair of familiar high-rise horns and my mate's long hair.

"Oh, hey, Mari. There you are."

I fight the urge to wrinkle my nose in frustration and turn. Georgie and Veronica are chatting on the main path, while a short distance away, Ashtar helps one of the elders butcher a fat kill. There's no sign of T'chai, so I skid to a stop and turn around. "Hey."

"What a cute dress!" Veronica exclaims, petting my sleeve as I approach. "I love that. The yellow's so pretty and happy."

"It looks good on you," Georgie says, rubbing her belly. "Megan, right?"

I nod, trying not to notice how everyone in the village seems to be pregnant but me. "She said it didn't fit anymore and wanted to give it to me. I was going to show T'chai."

"Uh huh." Veronica's lips twitch. "More like show him what's underneath."

Georgie gives a ladylike snort.

I just smile serenely, taking the good-natured ribbing. It's not like we haven't been completely and utterly obvious lately. Let them say what they want. I'm too happy to care.

"I thought I'd let you know that we're packing up," Veronica continues. "Ashtar wants to leave in the morning provided the weather's nice, and Tia's settled in with Sevvah and Oshen. We figured we should be heading back, unless you can think of a reason to stay longer?"

I think for a moment and shake my head. I wasn't entirely sure T'chai and I would be going back with them when they returned. The temptation to stay in Croatoan, where I've been so happy and carefree over the last week, is there, of course. But the beach is home, and I'm ready to see my friends again. "No unfinished business here."

Georgie just shakes her head, looking tired. "You guys brought enough excitement for one brutal season, thanks."

I feel a hint of guilt, because two nights ago, I broke the bad news about Earth to everyone. The women here took it well enough, with some tears and sadness, but they've been removed from Earth for years and years now. They aren't as outright devastated as my friends were. "It had to be said."

"Oh, I'm not blaming you." Georgie reaches out and touches my shoulder, her expression weary. Her smile is tired, as if she hasn't been sleeping. "It's just a lot to absorb, even if we've all been resigned for years to the fact that we'll never see Earth again. It has to be a lot harder on your friends."

"All the more reason to return," I admit.

"And…resonance?" Veronica asks, arching her brows. "Anything yet?"

"Not yet." I swear everyone's going to ask me today, I just know it…but I don't mind. They're not doing it with any maliciousness, and…it's not like I'm not thinking about it constantly myself. The pressure and worry is all gone, though, and all that's left is an easy acceptance. I haven't re-resonated yet, but I will. I know I will. "I was looking for T'chai, though. Have you seen him?"

"He was talking with Zennek and Warrek about fishing over at the far end of the village," Georgie says, gesturing at the distant end of the cliffs that cradle the village deep in the crevasse. "But that was a short time ago. I'm not sure where he is now."

"I'll go find him, then," I give them both a wave and walk away. I could stick around and keep chatting, but there's something urgent in my body that wants to find my mate now now now. It's because we can touch again, I think. We're insatiable for each other. Each time we come together seems faster and more urgent than the last, as if we have to get in as much sex as humanly possible before things die down to “normal.” Then again, I wonder if we'll ever have a “normal” or if we'll just be mad with lust forever.

I'm kinda fine with that. It sure beats being La Llorona.

I nearly get run down by a group of children racing through the cobbled street. There's several little girls in pigtails chasing a boy with what looks like a bird on top of his head. They push past my legs without a second glance, screaming and bounding after one another. That's one of the things the Icehome beach doesn't have yet, I realize—children just running everywhere. Liz's kids are there now, and Rukhar, but they tend to play quietly with Gren on the beach instead of carrying on like wildcats through the village like they are here. Maybe things will be different in a few years, when we've all had a few kids and turned into a more settled group. Or maybe we'll all eventually move here and join them and make just one big group. Who knows.

A little girl toddles past the group, her thumb in her mouth. She's got deep brown hair pulled into two curly knots atop her head, her horns little nubs on her brow, and her cheeks are plump. She sucks on her thumb, her other small hand extended as if she's silently calling for the others to come back. A moment later, one of the older girls—no more than six or seven in age, if I had to guess—races back and takes the little hand, dragging her sister along with them. It's the sweetest sight and makes me ache. I wonder if T'chai would like a girl or a boy? I think about him holding a little one with dark pigtails and his camouflage and my heart melts.

Man, I sure do have babies on the brain. It must be because they're everywhere here in this village, and all of the women seem to be fertile as hell. That has to be it.

I walk a little farther down the rows of huts and spot a few of the hunters standing near the mouth of one of the nearby canyons. The crevasse splits off in a few different directions before it gets to the village, as if they're living in one part of a big maze. I'm told there's a massive wall of dirtbeaks somewhere nearby, but I haven't gone to see it yet. I don't have much interest in poop birds, so I haven't really ventured farther than the last couple of huts. Maybe next time.

I spot T'chai's proud horns—so straight and indignant compared to the curling ones of the sa-khui—and my heart pitter-pats. He's got his back to me, his stance tall and proud, his shoulders mouthwateringly broad. His long hair flutters ever so slightly, and he's wearing a new tunic—one made of thick, fluffy white fur that was probably given to him by another hunter. It hides his ass from my hungry sight, so it's definitely not my favorite outfit, but dios, he still looks delicious and I want to take a bite out of him.

My mate shifts his weight, changing his stance, and just that small movement makes lust roar through me. My fingers flex and itch, as if they want me to move forward and just grab him. To latch onto that tail and force him to turn around and look me in the eye…and then run off into the nearest hut and make out like teenagers. The idea sounds amazing to me, and so I creep up behind them, trying not to interrupt the conversation he's having with two of the men. One is Zennek, I think—Marlene's shy mate—and the other is a stranger to me. He's tall and with longer hair than my T'chai, but the name escapes me. I think he's mated to Summer.

"So…you have five tribes from the islands? And all are living on the beach with you?" I hear Zennek ask.

"Three clans," T'chai corrects, and his voice is liquid chocolate, smooth and rich and sends a shiver right down my spine and makes me tingle.

"But you said there were five clans,” Zennek frowns, extending his fingers to count. "Horns, arms…fangs…? What am I forgetting?"

"I am Tall Horn," T'chai says, and I can hear the note of pride in his voice as he speaks. "There is Strong Arm and Shadow Cat, as well."

"Ah," says the other, turning to Zennek and gesturing at his jaw. "The fur."

"And then there was Long Tail, but they did not survive the death of the Great Smoking Mountain," T'chai continues. "That is all of the clans."

"You said there was an outcast clan?"

My mate huffs with amusement. "That is not a real clan. No one counts them. And it does not matter, because they are all dead as well." I take another step forward and my boot scrapes on the flagstones. T'chai twitches with alertness, and he glances over his shoulder.

The sight of that, of his eyes heavy-lidded as he casts a look over his shoulder, does something to me. A hot curl of need flares through my body, and it's like my pussy becomes instantly wet at the sight of the fan of his dark lashes and the beauty of his full mouth. My heart throbs again.

And again.

Then it's pulsing and pounding in my ears, so loud that it makes me pause. I put a hand over my chest, because I know what this is. Sure enough, my khui is humming so loud that it's making my body shake. T'chai looks down at his own chest, and then slowly turns—

With a squeal, I race the rest of the distance between us, launching myself onto him, arms wide.

I knock my mate to the ground in a tackle, kissing him wildly as the others laugh at us. I don't care if they laugh. I'm too full of joy to care about anything. With a grin, I sit up on his chest as he stares at me, incredulous. "Mari?"

"Do you hear it?" I say gleefully, and tear at the front of his tunic. I expose his chest, grinning, and then lick a long, sensual line between his pectorals, right over where his khui is singing loudest. "Do you feel it yet?"

He laughs, the sound full of delight as he grabs me by the waist and rolls us over. Then it's me on my back, and him over me, and I'm ready to tear my own clothing open so he can do the same. God, the thought of him licking a stripe between my breasts is so arousing that I wrap my legs around his waist. "It has happened!" he says fiercely. "Do I feel it? I can feel nothing but resonance, my Mari, and it is incredible."

T'chai leans down to kiss me and I meet him halfway in a clash of lips and teeth. I make a hungry noise as I lace my fingers in his hair and then he thrusts against the cradle of my hips, showing me just how much he wants me. We're devouring each other, oblivious to the cold and open air.

Someone clears a throat.

I look over at the same time T'chai does, but I'm only half-paying attention to the two hunters still standing a few feet away. My focus is on the hard length of my lover's body pressed to mine, the feel of my lips throbbing with the intensity of his kisses.

"Perhaps…a hut?" Zennek offers with a sheepish expression. "It might be more comfortable."

T'chai glances down at me. "Hut?"

I bite back a giggle. Something tells me if I said no, he'd just pull down his pants and mate me right here…and I'm tempted. Damn, am I tempted. But there's a lot of small children in the village, and the last thing they need to see is T'chai's bright blue butt as he pounds down on me. I reach for my mate's face and give him another fierce kiss, then let him go, but only for a moment. "Hurry," I tell him breathlessly.

Like lightning, T'chai is on his feet in a blink, and he scoops me up in his arms before I can even sit up. He glances over at Zennek. "Tell A'tar and his mate we are not leaving tomorrow. Something has come up."

And because I'm a giddy dork, I snicker at the pun.

Zennek just grins. "I will spread the word."

25

MARI

I  wrap my arms around T'chai's neck, nuzzling my face under the crook of his jaw as he carries me toward our hut. He smells so good that I'm whimpering with delight, unable to take my hands off of him. I lick his skin, biting at the cords and sucking on every bit of him I can. I want to leave him branded with hickeys so everyone sees how desirable I find him. I want to mark him as my own. I love the taste of him, and I bite down and drag my tongue over the spot I've wounded. He sucks in a breath, and I can feel his body stiffen in response. His khui gets louder, and I squirm with delight.

"Are you hungry?" T'chai teases in a low voice as he crosses the village with me in his arms. "Do I need to feed my ravenous mate first?"

"The only thing I want in my mouth right now is in your loincloth," I purr at him.

The hiss of his breath makes me feel so sexy and beautiful. Irresistible. I'm so happy that it seems as if the breath is escaping my lungs, as if I'm forgetting to breathe with my sheer joy. I suck in a deep lungful, rubbing my nose against the soft skin of his throat, and nip at him again. This is what we've been waiting for, what I've been longing for. Nothing is going to steal this from us ever again, I vow. No matter what the world throws at us, we can handle it.

T'chai pushes the door flap aside, ducking in, and then we're back in our hut. The embers are cold on the hearth and I'm squirming with need despite the fact that we had sex just this morning. Something inside me had forgotten how intense resonance is, how it feels as if you're coming out of your own skin with frantic need. It's as if the world is going to end if you don't have sex right now, right this moment.

My mate sets me down gently on our nest of furs. "Wait here, and I will make a fire."

I make a noise of protest, clinging to the front of his tunic, preventing him from leaving. "No. Stay with me. We can keep each other warm."

He hesitates for a moment, his protective nature clearly warring with his own needs, and then he groans and moves over me on hands and knees, his mouth slanting over mine. Thrilled, I try to drag him down against me, my hungry kisses growing more insistent by the moment.

"No," he murmurs, breaking my embrace with a gentle caress. He runs his knuckles down my cheek, gazing at me with such tenderness that it makes me ache all over. "We have mated with such eagerness that I have not taken my time with you, my Mari. When we come together now, it will be special. This time, I will savor every bit of you as you were meant to be savored."

"I'm fine with fast," I tell him, tugging at his tunic. "Fast is just as good as slow."

He shakes his head, a confident smile teasing his mouth. "So impatient, my mate. I promise I will make this good for you. Let me enjoy you at a slower pace. Let me memorize each moment of this so it will take away all the bad memories of the last few moons, when you wept with frustration and looked at me with sadness. We will fill those memories with something else," he promises. "We will make new memories of hungry need and yearning, and of tasting each other everywhere."

I moan, my body arching. "Okay, you make that sound pretty good. Savor away."

At my response, T'chai chuckles, and his fingers trail down my cheek again. "Have I told you this day that I am the luckiest of males?"

"You might have said it when my mouth was on your cock earlier," I pant, biting at the pad of his thumb when it moves closer to my mouth. "But I was distracted and don't remember."

"Then I will say it again." He leans in and gives me the lightest, tenderest kiss. "I am the luckiest male on this planet to have been gifted a mate such as you. No one else has a mate as lovely and strong and brave."

Brave? I let out a shaky laugh, even though his words thrill me. "I think you have me mistaken for someone else. I'm the one that hides, remember?"

He shakes his head slightly, leaning in and rubbing his nose against mine. It's the strangest position, him leaning over me on all fours while I sit up on my elbows underneath him, but it feels…intimate. Sweet. Right. "Everyone feels fear from time to time," T'chai says, then gives me another light, fluttering kiss. "But I remember on the beach when you tried to come for me, even though it was dangerous. I remember the strength in your eyes when I lay dying. You took my hand and smiled at me, and you told me with your eyes that everything was going to be all right. That you weren't going to let me die. I do not remember much about those days, but I remember waking up and you were always there with me. You never left my side, even for a moment. You never gave up on me." He presses a kiss to the tip of my nose. "You have faced down everything to protect me when I was helpless. So tell me again that you are not brave, and I will tell you once more that you lie."

The words are achingly sweet. Of all the things I expected T'chai to see me as, brave isn't one of them. For some reason, it makes my eyes well up with tears, and I cup his face in my hands and kiss him, my lips hungry on his. I want to show him all the things I'm feeling in this moment. I want him to realize how much I love and adore him.

When I was dropped on this planet, I didn't give much thought to resonance. It was just another danger lurking around the corner in a strange, inhospitable new world that was terrifying in all ways. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be tied down to another person when I was still trying to figure out what the heck I was going to do with myself. But…even if I could choose again, I'd still pick him. He's everything I never realized I needed—patient and strong, kind and protective, and with a wry sense of humor that sometimes rises up when I least expect it. He always makes me feel beautiful and special and understood.

He's perfect.

"I love you," I whisper as I kiss him over and over again, quick presses of my lips against his. "I love you so much."

"Let me show you how much I love you, my mate," he murmurs, rubbing his nose against mine one last time before moving down to kiss along my cheek, and then my jaw. "Let me cherish you."

Cherishing me sounds pretty good. I nod and remain still as he kisses along to my ear, leaning over me. His hair, long and thick, glides over his shoulders and falls onto my tunic like a cascade of dark water. His horns rub against my skin as he nips at my ear, and when he nudges me onto my back, I go, reaching for him even as I do. I'm going to need to touch this man at least a dozen times an hour for the rest of my life, just to make sure that he's real.

T'chai gazes down at me, a hint of a smile on his lips, and he reaches out and touches my jaw, caressing it lightly before stroking my hair. He fans it out around my head, studying me as if I'm the most gorgeous thing he's ever seen. The sheer lust in his eyes makes my pulse pound, the sensation focused between my thighs. It feels as if it's keeping time with my frantic khui, the song between us so loud it permeates the air.

My mate reaches for the ties on the front of my lovely new tunic and considers it. Instead of the normal laces, it's got big, fat, decorative knots that run down the front, and he considers them for a moment before grabbing his knife out of his belt. I let out a squeal of protest, shaking my head. "No! This is new! Don't you dare!"

His mouth twitches, and I realize he's teasing me.

"Oooh," I mutter, even as I grab a handful of his thick, silky hair and tug. "You're a naughty one, T'chai of Tall Horn. That is just wrong of you."

He tosses the knife aside with a smirk, and then picks at one of the knots. "It is a sad, sad day when my mate chooses her tunic over her mate."

"Oh please," I say indignantly. "Use your fingers. I know you know how to."

T'chai's mouth twitches again and his shoulders shake, as if he's holding back laughter. Carefully, he undoes the first knot and pulls the material apart, exposing my collarbones. The next two knots are quickly undone, and then my breasts are in the open air, my nipples tightening at the chill. The playful expression disappears from his face and he gazes down at my body. "When R'jaal first brought you back to us, I thought he was hallucinating. That he was making up stories, because no females were on our island at all. But then he laid you down in the sand and showed you to us, and I could not believe what I saw." He brushes his fingertips over one aching nipple, then goes back to undoing knots. "I thought you were the most beautiful, most delicate creature I had ever seen, and in that moment, I hated R'jaal because you were his and not mine." He glances up at me, his expression rueful. "And then you resonated to me and R'jaal was left alone."

"I'm not sorry," I whisper.

"Neither am I…though I do regret that moment of hatred. He is a good male…but you are mine and no one else's." His expression takes on a possessive cast, sending shivers of delight up my spine. "These are my teats to touch, my skin to caress, my mate to fill with kit." He opens the last knot holding my yellow tunic together and then pushes the butter-soft leather aside, exposing my torso. "I vowed to myself when we resonated that if I had to leave behind my Tall Horn brothers, I would. You were mine and mine alone."

His words shouldn't be nearly as arousing as they are, but paired with the intense look in his eyes? I've never been more turned on in my life. "No one would come between us," I promise him. "They just want you to be happy."

"So they do." T'chai puts a big hand on my stomach, stroking it lightly. "But I cannot help but be possessive of you, Mari. My clan is my family, but when I met you, you changed everything." He leans down and presses a kiss to the valley between my small breasts. "I realized when you smiled at me that I would follow you anywhere."

"Then it's a good thing the only place I want to be is where you are," I tell him softly.

He leans over me and presses a kiss to my forehead, then my nose, and then claims my mouth. One big hand cups my breast, his thumb stroking the nipple back and forth, teasing it until I'm aching. I whimper into his kiss, squirming on the blankets. I want to wrap myself around him, but when I try to put a leg around his hips, he eases it back onto the blankets. "Mine to savor," he murmurs. "Let me taste you everywhere before I put my kit in you."

I moan at those words, shocked at how hot they make me. I've never been aroused at the thought of becoming pregnant, but something about it coming from T'chai's mouth makes it the filthiest of compliments, and I love it. "More," I tell him. "Give me more, then."

"You want more?" He pinches my nipple between his fingers, and I gasp. "You want me to claim all of you?"

Oh god, yes. I nod, my breath coming in sharp, jerky pants.

He moves down my body, tossing his long hair aside as he does, and I see the small, dark-colored bruises my mouth has left on his neck. I love the sight of them there, and I want to wear his on my skin, too. I cup my other breast, raising the nipple toward him as he kisses his way down my body. "Taste me here."

"So fierce," he tells me. "So demanding."

Maybe I am. I don't care. All I know is that my words get results, because his mouth latches onto my breast and then I'm keening with hungry little whimpers, my fingers digging into his thick mane as he drags his textured tongue over my nipple. It feels so good I'm rocking my hips against nothing at all.

"Patience," he says, soothing my skin with more kisses. "You know I will fill you up and make you feel good, do you not?" He sucks on one nipple, even as he teases the other, until I'm panting and clinging to him, needing more. My khui is so loud that it feels as if it's making my entire chest vibrate, which adds an entirely new layer of sensation to things. I'm so ready for him to push my legs apart and shove his way deep, but I can tell from his expression—and by the sheer control he has right now—that he's going to draw this out.

And that turns me on even more.

"When I first saw your teats, my Mari, I did not know what to make of them," T'chai murmurs as he swirls his tongue around one sensitive nipple. "You had no kit in your arms, but your teats were swollen and seemed so soft. They move when you move, and I love watching that. It makes me imagine touching them, rubbing my face against them and tasting your skin." When I moan, he does just that, burying his face between my breasts and squeezing them tight, making the valley deeper. "But you taste just as sweet here as anywhere else." He looks up at me with a wicked expression on his face. "And so I must continue exploring."

"Oooh," I whimper. He thumbs my nipples one last time before he slides lower. He kisses my belly, his mouth indolent and lazy as he licks a leisurely path down my skin. I know he's dragging it out now to make me crazy…and it's working. I'm practically coming out of my skin by the time he reaches the waist of my skirt.

He plucks at it for a moment, considering, and then lifts his head. "I have not yet hummed on your cunt, have I?"

"W-what?" I blink up at him. In the haze of desire, it's hard for me to concentrate on what he's saying. "What do you mean?"

T'chai makes a sound in his throat, almost like a tsk. "I am the most selfish of mates. I have not yet buried my tongue deep inside you."

"Oh." While it's a true statement, I haven't really felt as if our sex life was lacking. I figured it was one of those things we'd eventually tackle when the right moment came along. All of our matings so far have been brief, explosive rounds of sex that mostly involved getting off as quickly as possible, and each time I've come so hard that it hasn't mattered to me where he has or hasn't put his mouth. He's touched me there, of course, and every time we have sex, he rubs my folds to test for how slick I am. Lucky for T'chai, I'm always wet for him now.

But if he's volunteering…

"Feel free to put your tongue wherever you like," I say, breathless, and hike my skirts up to my knees. "You want me to take this off?"

He grins up at me, a naughty expression on his face. "I want to push my head under there and lick your cunt until you come," he admits. "But I also want to see your face as I lick you…" He pulls my leg up carefully and nibbles on the inside of my ankle with a thoughtful expression. "Such a difficult choice."

"Mmm," I moan at the thought. Both of those sound good to me, but if he doesn't do something soon, I'm going to take matters into my own hands. My khui's pulsing its need through me, and my body feels like a raging inferno of lust. If I don't get some sort of relief soon, I'm going to turn the tables on my mate and tackle him to the ground. Straddle him and claim him until he scratches the itch that's building inside me…

"Hike up your skirts for me," he decides. "We will have the best of both worlds." And he kisses my ankle again, his tongue flicking against my skin.

I can't stop my little whimper of excitement and I do as he commands. I've had other boyfriends go down on me in the past. I'm no stranger to sex—but there's something about the fact that T'chai is about to go down on me that's making me lose my mind with anticipation. I hold my breath, waiting, and nearly explode when his mouth grazes along the inside of my thigh. Maybe it's because his enthusiasm is palpable. I can hear the song of his khui, loud and eager, as he kisses his way toward the cradle of my hips.

No one has loved me with so much enthusiasm before T'chai. He acts as if everything I do is a gift. Maybe that's the difference—the love between us. Whatever it is, I'm so keyed up that when his mouth brushes over the seam of my pussy, I cry out.

T'chai chuckles, and the sound is so sexy and confident that goosebumps prickle all over my body. With one hand, I tease my nipples as he spreads my folds wide and looks his fill. I can't help myself. My other hand clenches my skirts tight around my waist, ready to shuck them at a moment's notice.

"So wet," T'chai murmurs. "So very slick." He rubs my leg, caressing it even as he pushes my thighs apart and settles his shoulders between them. "All for me." He leans in and gives me a long, slow lick that leaves me squirming with arousal. "The only thing better than the way you look is the way you taste, my Mari."

With a broken little moan, I clutch at his horns and steer him between my thighs. "Your mouth is making me crazy."

"My words? Or my tongue?"

"Both." I writhe as he gives me another slow, sensual lick, because even when I've had a boyfriend go down on me in the past, he didn't lick me like T'chai does. My mate doesn't just use the tip of his tongue; he uses the flat and licks me from core to clit, dragging that lovely, hard-ridged tongue over my most sensitive parts. I knew my clit was sensitive, of course, but when he tongues every fold with deep, loving strokes, it makes me pant with shameless need.

T'chai gives me another intense lick, and then lifts his head, pressing a kiss to the top of my pussy as he looks up. "How shall I lick you? Which way do you like best?"

"All of it is good," I manage. "But…the clit is the best. If you tease it and use your fingers inside me at the same time, that'll make me come." My face heats with how direct I'm being, but if I don't tell him, he won't know. I can't expect him to know human anatomy. Hell, most human men suck at finding the clit, too.

But the look he gives me is pure enthusiasm. "I would love to make you come like this." He lowers his head, watching me as his mouth closes over my clit, and the sight of that is so erotic that my legs clench up. I gasp, clinging to his horns as he tongues my clit carefully, trying to figure out which movements I like best. I encourage him with little noises and positive murmurs, but when he suddenly flicks his tongue against the underside and then sucks hard, I nearly come off the furs.

His eyelids grow heavy with pleasure, and then T'chai does the same move again, and elicits the same reaction from me. He begins to suck with enthusiasm, breaking in with the occasional flick of his tongue, and time ceases to have all meaning for me. The world narrows down to his tongue and his mouth, and I'm riding his face, my hands desperately clinging to his horns as I do.

I drive my hips against his mouth, panting, and there's nothing sexier than him watching me as he sucks on my clit, his heated gaze full of arousal, of knowing that he's turning me on like this. He's loving touching me like this, and oh god, am I loving it.

T'chai lifts his mouth, pressing fervent kisses to the top of my mound. I let out a sound of protest, because I'm not there yet. I'm so close, all my muscles tightening in the most pleasant way, and that delicious tension building in my body, but the moment he lifted his mouth, it disappeared. "Why are we stopping?" I whine. "It feels so good."

"Because, my heart," he murmurs with hot little tongue flicks between each kiss, "I am giving you what you have asked for."

And then he pushes a finger into me.

I cry out, my hips lifting from the furs, and T'chai's other hand locks around my hips, holding me in place. He rubs his face into my folds, tickling and teasing at my clit with his tongue and then sucking in a slow, steady pattern that tears my world apart. All the while, he drives into me with one thick finger, pumping deep. He adds a second finger, filling me so full that it's like he's spearing me with his cock. I'm so close. I'm so, so very close.

Then, he does something with his finger inside me that touches a spot I didn't realize I had. Everything inside me comes unglued, and I let out a shriek as I crash over the edge, the hardest, most amazing orgasm ever ricocheting through me. T'chai holds me as it ripples through my body, and then I'm left quivering and boneless in the aftermath.

"What the fuck," I whisper, pleased as he kisses his way back up my body. "What did you do with your fingers?"

He gives me a smug grin, peppering small bites along my jaw and neck. "I found your she-spot. A male named W'rek told me about it. Was it good?"

Madre De Dios, was it good. I don't think I've ever come so hard. "It was incredible."

He chuckles, kissing me, and his mouth tastes like salt and musk. "I will have to tell S'bren about it when we return."

Holy shit. A she-spot…G-spot, I realize, because no sa-khui pronounces the “G” in the alphabet correctly. I let out a wild little giggle. "Here I thought you guys were just talking about fishing."

"Hunters talk of many kinds of prey." He gives me the most satisfied grin, even as he puts a hand over my breast and begins to tease it again. "Four legged…and two legged."

I groan at his joke, putting my fingers to his mouth. "That was a terrible line."

"I learned that one from H'rec."

Harrec? Kate's goofy, never-serious mate? Sounds about right. I curl my arms around T'chai's neck and kiss him again, well aware of the urgency in his body. His cock is hard, leaking pre-cum on my skin wherever it brushes against me. I nuzzle into the kisses, letting his urgency stoke the fires in me again. My cootie's song hasn't diminished, and all too quickly, the relief of release disappears, leaving me with hungry need once more.

Between kisses, I caress T'chai's cock. "Do you want me to go down on you like you did me?" I'm happy to do it—in fact, it's one of my favorite ways to wake him up in the morning. I just love the look of sheer surprise and lust that crosses his face when he realizes what I'm doing and that it wasn't a dream.

My mate shakes his head, claiming my mouth with another sweet kiss. His hand goes to the back of my neck and he strokes it, holding me close. "Resonance only wants my seed in one place." He pushes a hand between my thighs and thrusts a finger deep inside me, making me arch and moan. "There will be plenty of time for that later. For now, I want to claim you."

"Claim away." I touch him everywhere, on the scars that cover his chest like scrawled tattoos. I love the sight of them, just like I love everything about him. "I'm yours, T'chai. Always."

"I know." He kisses me again and rests his brow against mine. "I have always known this."

He has, hasn't he? That's one of the things I love most about him—he's so very steadfast. So certain, even when I had my doubts. I snap my hips against his hand, encouraging him to do more than just touch me, to show him that I'm ready for everything. I'm wet and ready, and when he slides his fingers out of my body, my khui gets even louder with anticipation.

"I'm ready," I encourage him, lifting my hips. "I want you inside me, T'chai. Please."

"Are you wet?"

"You know I am."

He grins, his expression so gorgeous my heart aches. "We shall see."

Now I know he's just teasing me, because when he pushes a finger deep into my core again, I can hear just how wet my body is. I moan, clinging to his shoulders, and arch against him. "Now," I breathe. "Now. Now."

"Patience. We are savoring." He shifts his body over mine, resting his cock just against the heat of my pussy.

"I'm tired of savoring," I protest, digging my nails into his skin. "Listen to my khui. It needs you so badly."

He leans in and rubs his face between my breasts again, eliciting another moan from me as his hair teases over my skin. He nuzzles at my chest. "Yes, I hear your song," he whispers. "I love that you sing for me."

I do, too. So much.

T'chai takes his cock in his hand and guides it, using the head to part my folds so he can glide it through my slick. He knows from the last week of experience that this drives me absolutely crazy, and this time, he makes sure to rub the head against my clit. He pumps against me, dragging his cock through my channel and watching me as he does. When my moans grow louder, he teases me even more by pressing the head against my core and then drifting away once more. It's cruel and unfair and it's doing utterly obscene things to me. I gasp and beg for more, until I can't stand it any longer. If he won't take me like I want him to, I'm going to turn the tables on him.

I sit up and push a hand against his shoulder. T'chai looks surprised, but his mouth spreads into a grin as I tip him onto his back and straddle him. This time, I'm in control as I take his cock and press it against the folds of my pussy. I rub myself up and down his length, watching his reaction. His eyes are so hot as he stares at me that it takes my breath away. Has anyone ever looked at me so fiercely? With so much pride and lust and affection all in one?

It's that look that makes me sink down onto him, finally, taking him into my body. I ease myself onto his length because he's big and hard, and every ridge on his cock seems to drag against all my nerve endings. By the time I'm seated fully onto him, I'm gasping for breath, feeling incredibly full and turned on at the same time. His spur is nestled against my clit, buried deep in my folds, and I know that even the slightest rocking motion will feel exquisite. "Do you want me to ride you?" I ask him, because this is our special moment. I want him to like what I do, and I don't know how he feels about me being on top. "Is this okay?"

He groans and sits up, his legs shifting, and I gasp, because it makes everything inside me adjust and move, and a flood of sensations barrels through me. He puts a hand on my back, anchoring me in place as he leans forward to kiss me. Like this, we're face to face, and it's the most intimate thing ever, to touch noses and breathe each other's air even as he's seated deep inside me.

"Hi," I whisper, touching his cheek and smiling.

"I like everything you do," he tells me with a kiss. "My mate is on my cock. How could I possibly find fault here?" He jerks his hips, and it sends a ricochet of reactions through my body, hot pleasure spiraling through me. I gasp and cling to him, biting down on his lower lip as if I can somehow share some of that intensity with him. "You are mine," he says in a low voice. "All mine."

And he thrusts again.

It's not a massive thrust—the angle we're in won't allow for that—but it still feels glorious and rubs my clit in all the right ways with his movements. I move with him on the next thrust, lifting my hips so I can push down onto him and increase the friction. I moan his name, and my khui sings louder and louder. T'chai puts a hand on my hips, pinning me as his movements become quicker and rougher, and I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on as he fucks me.

My body is apparently done with savoring. I come quickly—and then a second time as T'chai continues to pound away into me, murmuring my name and how beautiful I am as my pussy clenches tight around him with each release. I'm gasping, my body sensitive and overstimulated by the time he flips us onto the furs, pushing me onto my back and driving deep. I'm quivering with the onset of another orgasm when he rocks forward, hard, and his spur pushes right against my clit. I come yet again, and I'm vaguely aware that he's coming, too, his grip on my shoulders fierce, his face buried in my hair.

I hold onto him tightly, the only sound in the hut that of our mingled heavy breathing and the ever-present song of resonance. Eventually, T'chai lifts his head and gazes at me. He gives me a lazy, slow smile and presses a kiss to my jaw. "We still sing."

"So we do. I guess we'll just have to do that again soon." I wiggle a little, feeling the stickiness of our joined bodies. "There's no rush. We have all the time in the world now."

He smiles at me, lacing his fingers with mine, and even though my khui is still singing an urgent song…I'm content. So very content.

EPILOGUE

A few days later

T’CHAI

I  think I am not cut out for riding a dragon. No matter how comfortable A'tar and V'ronca try to make the journey on us, I am glad when my feet touch ground at the Icehome beach and I realize I do not have to make the trip again. Ever. I help Mari from the basket, and my poor mate is shivering despite the layers of furs bundling her. The smile she gives me is brilliant, though, and I can hear the muffled song of her khui singing to mine as we touch hands.

Our song has changed, the urgent edge disappearing and replaced with something sweeter, something satisfied. I look at my mate and I am filled with wonder that she is carrying our kit. Tall Horn will survive, despite the Great Smoking Mountain's efforts to destroy us all, and my young will grow up in safety. They will never experience what R'jaal, S'bren, M'tok and I had to go through at young ages. Things will be different for our daughter…or our son.

I do not care which one it is as long as our kit has Mari's determination…and her smile.

My mate looks up at me with a sly smile. "Why are you watching me like that?"

"Can a male not watch his mate as she moves?"

She mock-squints at me. "I suppose you can, but I think you have an ulterior motive."

"Ulterior motive?" I echo, not entirely sure what these words mean.

"Yeah. Like you're looking at me all sweet, when I know you're really thinking about dragging me back to our furs." She moves forward and adjusts the ties on my cloak playfully, her expression somehow teasing and seductive all at once.

"I think if we do that, we might scare D'see," I point out, brushing my fingers over her cheek. Now that I can touch her again without Mari pulling away, I take every opportunity to do so. I love touching her. I could spend the rest of my days running my fingers over her soft skin. Just lie in the furs and let the world around us disappear.

Mari's eyes widen and she giggles. "I forgot that she was staying in our hut. I hope she hasn't trashed the place. We don't know anything about her. She might be a real slob. She—"

"Here come the others," V'ronca calls out. She stands near the dragon's head, her hand on his muzzle as we wait for the tribe to arrive. We wait for the hunters to come and help us unpack all the goods that we have brought from the other village. The basket where T'ia rode over on the journey here is now filled with foodstuffs and furs of all kinds. We have been showered with gifts, and I am humbled by the kindness of these strangers. The sa-khui are generous beyond what I thought possible, and I cannot help but compare this thinking to the island I grew up on. Tall Horn did not share with other clans, nor they with us. We were all rivals, taught from birth that the others were somehow less.

And now we are forced to live together, which makes for interesting times. Perhaps I should learn from them and learn to be more open and friendly to Shadow Cat and Strong Arm.

"Should we help unload?" Mari says, glancing over at me.

"I will," I tell her, and pull her over to V'ronca's side. "You stay with A'tar's mate. You are pregnant, too, and must be careful."

Mari just rolls her eyes at me, but she's smiling. "Is this how it's going to be for the next nine months?"

I squint at her. "Why? What happens in nine months?"

"A…baby?"

"So soon?" I remember vaguely the pregnant females on the island. It seemed to take much longer for their young to be born, and I remember the crushing disappointment of a young one's long-awaited welcome only to learn he must be sent to the outcast clan because he showed no horns.

"Okay, longer. Whatever." Mari doesn't seem concerned. She touches her flat stomach and her smile grows a little wider. Mine does, too.

"Ho," calls a voice down the beach, and when I turn, there are a dozen people approaching us. I see M'tok and S'bren and their mates, and R'jaal. I see A'tam and D'see—the new female—and S'sah. Bek is here, and V'rdis of the red skin, and then we are surrounded. I am clapped on the back over and over by all, and it seems as if everyone is pleased to see us return. R'jaal wants to know how things were at the other camp—Croatoan—and R'hosh wishes to know if T'ia was settled. Others help pull the saddle and gear off of A'tar so he can shift to his human form, and…it is a mess of people, everywhere. Everyone talks over one another, and when I look over at my mate, she is surrounded by other females. M'tok's mate C'lie is hugging her with joy in her eyes, and D'see chatters excitedly as my mate just smiles sweetly.

She is so beautiful, my Mari, that it makes me pause. How am I so lucky?

I stare at her, overcome with emotion, and a big hand claps on my back. "It was like that for me, as well," Bek comments, and taps the underside of my jaw, where my mouth is hanging open. "I could not look at my Ell-ee without feeling overwhelmed for many, many moons after we resonated. I still feel overwhelmed, knowing she is mine." His hard face softens into a smile. "Take it for the gift that it is and be happy."

"I shall," I vow, and gesture at the multitude of packs on the beach. "Here. Let me help with this."

THE BEACH CAMP is chaos all afternoon and into the evening. Everyone wants to see the things brought from Croatoan, and many questions are asked—who has recently had a kit, what did L'la and R'kan's new young one look like, has anyone resonated, how is the hunting…on and on it goes. I find myself racking my brain, looking for the smallest tidbits of information to share with the hungry group. I understand it. In a way, it reminds me of the clan gatherings back on the island. All four clans would come together once every full turn of the seasons and have the proving games. In addition to the games, there were feasts, and trading with other clans…and talking. I remember lots and lots of talking.

It is like that right now, with Mari pulled away to speak with someone or another. First, H'rlow asks about the healer M'lak and her family. Then Leezh wishes to hear about Shorshie and her kits. Buh-brukh wants to know about her new clothes. C'lie wishes to know details about her visit to the healer. My mate gives me a helpless look and smiles, letting herself be carried away by her friends.

I smile, too, because it has been a long time since my mate has smiled so often. Since before the sky-claw attack, I think. She smiled all the time when we first met, and it dimmed when her khui was silenced. She is all happiness on this day, her sweet laughter ringing out, and I will do nothing to interrupt. I am just glad to see her enjoying herself.

"This calls for a celebration," Shail announces by the fire, and a small cheer goes up from the gathered group. She plants a kiss on Z'hren's face and hands him over to V'za, and then turns back to the group, clasping her hands. "I'm thinking stew, and if someone wants to go retrieve some sah-sah, we could have a party."

"Party!" someone calls out, and another female cheers.

"I'll help," B'shit says, moving to Shail's side. "What do you need?"

"Fresh meat, for starters," Shail says. "A lot of it. Do we have time?" She glances up at the sky, gauging the suns. "Or is it going to be dark soon?"

"Dark is not a problem." A'tam gets to his feet. "D'see and I will go to the nearest cache and get fresh meat for you. I know where it is, and she needs to learn."

"Sounds good," D'see says, falling in behind A'tam. They leave the fire, and I glance over at B'shit, who crosses her arms under her teats and scowls at the fire. Her fists are clenched tight, and I wonder if perhaps we missed a resonance here. D'see's eyes are blue with khui brightness, so perhaps she has already been claimed by one of Shadow Cat?

Someone chuckles nearby, and I look to see V'za approaching. He has his son in his arms, and I notice that Z'hren is now wearing a little fur hat sent over from the other tribe, and he looks charming…even for a Strong Arm kit. Or perhaps I just have kits on my mind lately. V'za comes to stand beside me and leans in as those around the campfire get to work, organizing the cooking. "B'shit does not look happy, does she? It has been an interesting handful of days while you were gone." V'za just shakes his head, as if amused at the antics of the younger generation. Z'hren chews on his fist, staring at me. V'za smiles. "I think this camp will be quite…eventful for a while. You and your mate came back? I was not sure if you would."

I glance over at him. I have only told other Tall Horn that we were considering a permanent stay at Croatoan. "What makes you say that?"

He shrugs, watching his mate. "Your female has not been happy for a while. It was very obvious. Shail wondered if she was leaving just to get away from the stares here."

Shail is wise. "It was an idea…but this is home."

"Home is where your mate is," V'za corrects. The child in his arms flails his fists and then reaches out to me. V'za glances over at me. "Do you want to hold him?"

Do I? I think for a moment, and then put my arms out for the boy. Z'hren practically leaps into my arms, and I stagger in surprise at how heavy he is for his small size. He is solid, this one, and I marvel that slight-looking Shail can carry him all day without complaint. "He is big."

"He is. Eats enough for three," V'za says proudly. "Always at his mother's teat." He nudges me and winks. "Just like his father."

It is a ridiculous joke, but I laugh anyhow. Z'hren blinks at me, and then his color flickers before settling into the exact shade of blue I am. The kit opens his mouth wide and giggles, showing off two tiny teeth on the bottom of his gums, and that makes me laugh all over again. I do not remember ever being around a kit like this, and I have never held one. He is cute. I rock him in my arms, wincing when all four fists grab at my mane and he lifts it to his mouth. "He is strong."

"Very." V'za smiles. "Will you hold him while I see if my mate needs anything?"

The older hunter moves away before I can respond, and then I am left with Z'hren. I consider his round, chubby face, wondering if my son will look like this. Z'hren makes a “guh” noise in his throat and puts a fistful of my mane into his mouth, drool going everywhere. I grimace, trying to dislodge my mane from so many sticky little hands. "I do not know if you should eat that, little one."

"Guh!" Z'hren says again, ignoring me.

"Your mother will not be happy if you fill your belly with my mane instead of milk," I point out. "And a hunter must be strong and fit so he can outrace even the fiercest of beasts, yes?" The kit seems to be listening to what I say, so I continue talking, even as I awkwardly bounce him like V'za did. "You will need to grow up big and strong so you can take down a beast as fierce as Old Grandfather…or as wily as a kaari. You know what those are, yes?" I keep on going. "And you will need to be able to provide for a mate. That is what every hunter aspires for—a beautiful mate at his side." I lean in closer, as if imparting a secret. "Like mine."

"Who are you talking to?" My mate touches my back, moving to my side. There's a look of amusement on her face. "Did you get stuck babysitting?"

I grin down at her, pleased that she has made her way over to me. I thought I would lose her to her friends all night. "V'za needed to help Shail, and I was nearby." I shrug, adjusting the child on my hip. "He is a good kit. Very wise. Listens to my advice."

"Guh," Z'hren says again and chews on a mouthful of my mane.

"Obviously," Mari teases, leaning in and gently extracting strands of mane from Z'hren's greedy fists. "You look good with a baby in your arms," my mate says in a softer voice. "I'm glad…I'm glad things worked out the way they did." She lets out a sigh, and I hear relief in her voice. "I worried…"

"You worried about nothing," I remind her gently. "I would feel the same about you with a kit in my arms as I would without. It does not change you and me. Every day I have woken up to find you at my side has been a good day. I have no complaints."

Her smile is as bright as sunlight on ice. "No, you've never complained, have you?"

"I have not. A happy male never complains, is that not right, Z'hren?" I pat the kit on the back and look over at my mate, wondering if I am being selfish in my enjoyment of the boy. "Would you like to hold him?"

"You go ahead." She rubs my back, leaning against my arm. "I like watching you."

I lean over and press a kiss to the top of her head, and Z'hren squeals in delight at the dip as I bend over. His laughter makes me chuckle, and so I spend the next few moments “dipping” him again, just to hear that infectious giggle. My mate laughs, too, and I wonder if anyone was ever filled with as much joy as I am in this moment.

"U'dron has his drum!" someone calls out. I see F'lor drag U'dron forward, and she indicates he should sit at the front of the fire. "Play us a song! Someone else get Raven. She needs to sing us one of her crazy tunes."

A ripple of laughter rises from the group. Mari glances around and leans in to me, whispering. "I haven't seen Raven, have you?"

I think about R'ven. She is the female with the long, pale mane, I think, and the serene expression. The one that sings songs that make no sense, but everyone seems to enjoy. Songs about um-brel-uhs and whatever a “lay-dee mar-muh-lade” is. I have not seen her, but then again, it takes a lot for me to notice a female other than my mate. I shrug.

"I'll go find her," another female calls out, and S'teph peels away from the group, jogging to the caves. She returns all too quickly, an odd look on her face. "Not there."

"Did she go with D'see and A'tam?" asks another, and then the camp scatters as people go looking for the missing female.

"Perhaps you'd better go help them look," Mari states, taking Z'hren from my arms. "Maybe she's taking a walk with one of the men?"

R'jaal motions for me to join him, and I kiss my mate and leave her side, going to help with the search. R'jaal seems irked. "R'ven is probably just spending time alone with one of Shadow Cat," he grumbles. "All of the females seem to like them and their chin fur."

"They like them because A'tam and I'rec flirt with them," I tell my friend, clapping a hand on his back. "Instead of racing away the moment they try to talk."

"I do not race away," R'jaal complains. "At least, not every time. Come on. We will find this female and then we will enjoy the feast."

BY THE TIME it is dark, R'ven is still nowhere to be found. A'tam and D'see return with a frozen dvisti carcass, and have not seen R'ven. She is not in the caves. She is not in any of the huts. She is not walking on the beach or checking trap baskets in the tide pools.

No one has any idea where she is. She has vanished.

"Which male is it?" R'jaal snarls when we rejoin the group. I search the gathered faces, looking for the one that matters the most to me. Mari is seated next to Shail, a sleeping Z'hren still in her lap. She looks tired, my mate, but she will not complain or abandon the group, just as I will not. R'jaal pushes ahead, scanning the gathered people. "Which male decided it was a good idea to steal another female?"

U'dron gets to his feet and cracks his knuckles. "Let me know who it is and I will destroy him."

"One of your own clan?" R'jaal sneers, his tone so cutting I put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. This is not like my friend, but he is sensitive where the unmated females are concerned.

U'dron just shakes his head. "Look around you. Shadow Cat is here. It is someone else." He scowls bleakly. "Someone else has put hands on my female."

"Yours?" Leezh pushes to the center of the group. "Did something happen that we all need to know about?"

U'dron crosses his arms over his chest. "Not…yet."

Leezh turns and gives her mate a stare. "Okay. Well, who's missing, then? Who's the jackass? Sessah?"

"I am here," the young hunter calls out, his tone offended. "Why would I steal an unwilling female?"

I look around, and I see U'dron is right—all of Shadow Cat is by the fire. U'dron stands next to O'jek. I'rec and A'tam are whispering to one another as D'see leans in. I count heads, confused. Did a mated male steal her away, then? But all of Strong Arm—J'shel, N'dek, K'thar—are nearby with their mates. A'tar, Th'rand and V'dis are seated. Gren stands with his mate. M'tok is with C'lie, and S'bren with P'nee. R'jaal stands in front of me.

Who is left? Bek, T'shen and V'za are all here. M'dok, too. I look around and realize we are all staring at one another, trying to figure out who is missing.

"Did she wander off?" H'rlow asks quietly. "Would she be the type to go hunting alone?"

"Raven?" Sam looks incredulous. "No way. She hates hunting. Says it messes up her chi or something."

"Okay, well, if we're all here, then who the fuck took her?" Leezh demands.

The camp is silent.

MARI

It feels like I'm displacing Daisy. It's a stupid thought, because it's my hut, but I also feel like I'm kicking her out of her home. But it's also been an incredibly long day, and I want to sleep in my bed…and I want to be alone with my mate.

"It's fine," Daisy reassures me as she packs up her things. She folds her borrowed clothes into the tiniest pile and gives us a sunny smile. "I'll just stay in the cave with the other girls."

I glance at the door, looking for T'chai. He's still out searching with the others, looking for Raven. I should be out there, too, but I'm exhausted, and when I started yawning, my protective mate gently nudged me towards our hut. "How's that going, by the way?" I ask, fighting another sleepy yawn. "The other girls?"

She shrugs, rolling up a fur. "It's going. I figure everything takes time."

Which means no one likes her very much. Poor Daisy. "Made any friends?"

Daisy looks over at me and grins. "A'tam has been nice."

Oh boy. "I don't know if that's a good idea…"

"I know," Daisy says. "Bridget's not going to like it. She hates me right now, but that's all right. I'm an expert on this sort of situation." She tosses her long, strawberry-blonde braid over her shoulder and gives me a confident look. "We're making her jealous so he can finally win her over."

That sounds…like an explosion waiting to happen, but what do I know? "Just…no fighting. Or we might have to fly you to Croatoan to go spend some time with Tia."

She chuckles, the sound sweet and light, and slings her pack over her shoulder. "It's all under control, I promise. Thank you for letting me use your hut, by the way. You've been very kind to me." Her smile is sweet and a little sad. "It's been nice to have a place to retreat to and have some time to myself while I get settled in."

"Of course. If you want to stay…" I begin, and trail off.

"No, you need to be alone with your mate and it's about time I moved into the other cave anyhow. They'll just have to get used to my presence." She grins, looking just as beautiful and fresh as the day she arrived despite the harshness of our living situation. "I'm not going anywhere."

"No, I guess not." I return her smile and wave as she leaves the hut.

There's still no sign of T'chai, so I unroll our furs and make the bed—just one—and stoke up the fire. I'm going to wait up for him, I think, yawning. We haven't had much of a chance to talk today, and I miss him. There's just been someone there every time I turned around. Not that I mind—it's good to feel so loved and needed—but I want my mate, too. I lie down on the furs, watching the fire, and touch my belly. Somewhere in there is our baby. I think about T'chai holding Z'hren earlier, and the delight on his face when Z'hren laughed. He's going to be such a good dad. So patient and loving…

A hand touches my shoulder and then T'chai's big body is easing down into the furs next to me.

I rub my eyes, realizing that the fire's died down. I must have fallen asleep. "Everything okay?"

"R'ven is still missing," he says in a low voice. "We will go out in the morning and look for her." His arms go around me and he spoons me against his bigger body. "You are tired. Go back to sleep."

"I wanted to wait for you," I murmur, snuggling back against him. "I missed you today."

He presses a kiss to my hair. "I am always right here, my mate."

And that makes me smile, because it's the truth. No matter what happens, T'chai's always going to be there for me. He's steadfast and wonderful and I adore him. "I love you," I tell him sleepily. "When I wake up in the morning, we're going to have sex."

He chuckles. "If you like."

"Just not right now," I say, yawning. "Too sleepy."

"Then sleep," he tells me in the lowest, most gentle voice as his arms tighten around me. "I am not going anywhere."

I smile as I drift off, because I know he's right. We're forever, him and I.

EPILOGUE II

RAVEN

I  wake up with a groan and a throbbing headache, and a terrible taste in my mouth. With a cough, I sit up, wiping at my lips as I look around. Disoriented, I peer into the darkness, trying to recall what happened and where I am. I vaguely remember seeing footprints in the sand and following them, only to find myself in a tidal cave that got filled up with water. The last thing I remember was the cold, salty water closing over my head.

Okay, so…I'm dead?

I'm dead. Fine. Whatever.

I shiver, plucking at the wet material of my tunic. If I'm dead, why's it so fucking cold then? My tits are freezing and this cave isn't warm in the slightest. I blow on my chilled fingers, wondering if someone's going to come get me, or if I'm on my own. I reach into the darkness and to my surprise, I touch something rough and prickly that feels like coral. It's the size of a Christmas tree, I realize, as I keep touching and find more and more of it. I…don't recall seeing that in the cave. If anything, the cave was completely empty when I entered it.

So did the coral wash up with me?

A rock skitters somewhere behind me.

"Hello?" I get to my feet, and everything hurts. Everything. I cough up more saltwater and wince at my leg—it feels like it was scraped raw. "Who's out there? U'dron?"

I don't know why I call for U'dron. Well, okay, I do know why, but I tell myself I don't like him THAT much. He wouldn't like me at all if he knew who I really was. No one would. Still, I modulate my voice to the sweeter tone I've adopted since coming to the ice planet. "Guys? Who's out there? Anyone?"

I shuffle forward, and then I see where I'm at. Sort of.

It's a strange place, the beach completely different than I've seen before. I’m on a beach, but the cliffs are tall and menacing, without any place to scale them. It’s like being completely closed in by rock, and it looks wholly unfamiliar. There is a ton of junk piled up at the tide-line on the beach, as if shit's been washing up on the shore for weeks and weeks and no one's bothered to gather any of it. It looks like a big pile of wreckage in a perfect line across the beach, and the sight of it makes my skin prickle. So much driftwood…someone should have gathered it, right?

Unless I'm someplace new.

But how did I get someplace new? This isn't motherfucking Narnia. I can't go through a door to another world. This is an ice planet.

A figure steps out from behind some of the wreckage, hopping down and pacing toward me. It's a child, I realize as the figure approaches, though it doesn't look like any of the kids back at camp. His eyes are khui blue and glow in the spooky way all of our eyes glow in the dark. It's hard to see due to the shadows, but I'm also pretty sure he doesn't have four arms. He doesn't look human, either, though. There’s a strange flatness to his features that mark him as alien, as do the tiny horns at his brow and the shock of wild pale hair that sticks right up from his head like a flame. Not quite human, but he doesn’t quite match the aliens I’ve seen, either. The strange child tilts his head and watches me, then crouches on his haunches like a wild animal. He’s totally naked, I realize, despite the cold weather, and can’t be more than three or four years old.

Is he…feral, then? How the hell did that happen?

"Hi there, cutie. Who are you?" I smile, my voice sweet, and hold a hand out to him.

His tail swishes back and forth, and as it stirs the sand like a brush, I realize that it’s much, much shorter than the alien tails I’ve seen. It’s stubby and bushy. He giggles at me and then scampers away on hands and knees, racing back to the piles of driftwood.

I straighten, wondering if I should chase him. As I do, I look up.

Another pair of eyes flare to life in the darkness. Bigger. Narrowed.

Menacing.

Uh oh. I stare at the second newcomer as he approaches and realize I am in some serious, serious shit.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

Hello there!

It feels like forever since we’ve been back to Icehome, and I missed it. This book kind of exploded with a bunch of plot things I’ve been simmering on for a while, so let’s take a few pieces apart and talk about them.

FIRST AND FOREMOST, this book would not be possible without Alejandra Amador Garcia. When I released Callie’s book, I got a lot of things wrong about her Cuban-American heritage. I got foods wrong. Expressions. All kinds of stuff. In my ignorance, I thought I’d done enough research. Nope! Alejandra kindly contacted me and pointed out where I’d fucked things. I made corrections, and asked her to advise me on this book for Mari’s Mexican-American heritage, as Alejandra has both Cuban and Mexican family members. She’s been an absolute angel every step of the way, and I can’t thank her enough for her support and kindness in the face of my ignorance. It’s important to get things right, so thank you again, Alejandra. You’re amazing.

Let’s talk about the plot a bit!

I’ve been teasing that things have Gone Wrong between T’chai and Mari ever since they got back. It came down to a concept I’ve been noodling with for a long time: healers can ‘talk’ to khuis, so why don’t they ever guide them with resonance? It would make sense, right? So I played with the idea of the khui being a stubborn asshole of a symbiont (really, it fits given some of the pairings it’s made in the past) and that tampering with it makes it shut down like a fragile snowflake facing internet criticism. I also wanted to play with how a couple would handle resonance not being completed, and I think with given the society that they’re in, it’d create all kinds of inadequacy feelings. You’re literally surrounded by people in love, in the process of being in love, and shooting out babies. Sex is a constant. Procreation is a constant. And knowing that you can’t do either is a special kind of hell because it’s thrown in your face every day.

As a childless woman (mostly by choice, some by shitty biology), I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been asked by my gynecologist when I want to get pregnant. Or relatives at Thanksgiving asking when we’re making a family. Co-workers ask about your family when you hang out. I’ve gotten used to the questions and the looks like there’s something ‘not quite right’ with you if you choose not to have kids. Even if everyone’s trying to be sensitive about it, you’re aware of it hanging over your head.

It’s a totally valid choice to not have children, but it affects Mari deeply because she DOES want what she and T’chai had previously. She does want a family. And she’s in Resonance Central with everyone in some sort of stage of pregnancy, so it all affects her mindset.

Even more than that, I wanted to play with the aspect of female sexuality. What do you do when you’ve lost your mojo? What if you used to get turned on by your mate and now it bothers you when he touches you? What do you do if your feelings are the same but the physicality isn’t? While everything I’ve written is largely influenced by the khui (an easy out, really), losing your sexuality (or having a lack of one) is a very valid and real thing. T’chai suggests options to Mari but leaves them up to her, and they both have to come to terms with the fact that things may never be ‘like they were’ between them again. That doesn’t make it bad. It just makes it different.

A lot of the time in romance novels, we have heroines that just come at the drop of a hat and heroes with enormous schlongs. I mean, it’s fantasy. I’ll probably never write a hero with a tiny pecker because this IS a fantasy, but I also like to play with different levels of how people deal with different levels of sexuality. For some people, it’s just not good sex (Bridget and A’tam) no matter how equipped the dude. Sometimes it’s downright awkward (like when Haeden and Josie first get together, or Rukh and Harlow). I try to show a variety of things in writing because they all interest me as character aspects.

And of course my heroines are going to take charge of their sexuality and have many wonderful orgasms with their mates because we’re still in fantasy-land. But I do think it needs to be brought up now and then, because perfect people are great, but not that interesting to me as characters. I like playing with the messy bits, and I like them figuring themselves out.

Speaking of! There is a wonderful book called Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, PhD. It discusses all kinds of sexuality and sexual responses of women - from lack of desire to too much desire and everything in between. It’s a fantastic read and very conversational. I glaze over when someone ‘sciences’ at me for too long, but this book was really useful for understanding the thinking of “I love my partner but I’m not into sex” and why that might be. The answer: CONTEXT. Check it out - if you’re curious about how women respond, I think it’s such an interesting book (and the good news is that most libraries probably have it, too!).

Let’s talk about TIA. Our darling, sweet little seventeen year old flirt. I wanted to have a younger human woman on the island in addition to older, just to span age ranges (Flor is the oldest at 32, and Tia is the youngest at 17, with everyone else falling in between). Of course, that presents a problem when matching everyone up, because seventeen is awful, awful young to hook up with a forever mate and start making babies. Most seventeen year olds want to have a good time, and so Tia’s been flirting her little heart out. Of course, our guys don’t understand what the fuck ‘dating’ is. They think of things in two ways: Mine and Not Mine. I figured this would cause problems in the tribe, and then I tried to think of the best way to solve it.

Answer: There is no ‘best way’ to solve it.

I tried to think about the most practical way to solve it. Do you get rid of all the problem men who don’t know how to handle a young, teasing girl? Or do you take the girl out of the equation? I tried to think of it in a hunter-gatherer sort of way. All the guys that bring in food are worth more than Tia, who mostly hangs around camp and talks. So I made the decision that Tia would be brought over to Croatoan, where she can grow up without causing chaos. She’ll be back, but she’s going to be out of commission for a bit. Is it the best answer? No. But is it the best answer for now? Probably!

Also…I brought in a new character! It feels like a big deal to me, but you guys were probably expecting it. Or maybe you weren’t! It occurred to me a few books ago that we had even numbers (which makes sense, of course) and that, in turn, made everything a little predictable. I decided I didn’t like predictable and what could I do to change that up? To add a little bit of uneasiness in our bachelors and bachelorettes. Do I kill someone off and mess up the numbers?

(No. The answer is always no. I get too attached and can’t kill anyone. Shh.)

So then I thought about introducing someone. The seeds were kinda planted in the last book when Niri ‘thoughtfully’ dropped off a care package. That was me setting the stage for Daisy’s appearance. Now everyone’s going to have their feathers ruffled because there’s too many women vs the men (which is an aspect I haven’t played with yet!) and does that mean someone gets left out? Someone gets two mates? What?!?! WHAT!!!???

Anyhoo, I hoped you enjoyed her appearance and will continue to enjoy Miss Sunshine and Excitement as she shows up in future books.

Speaking of future books…I’m still in an Icehome mood so the next book is…RAVEN. You’re probably wondering how the heck I got there. Raven hasn’t been on screen much, right? But while writing this book, Raven’s character really popped out at me and started speaking, and so of course I had to bound right into her book. I’m already hard at work on it and it should be August’s release barring any craziness. So yes, there is a BIT of a cliffhanger, but Mari and T’chai are all settled and snuggled in their HEA and Raven is next, so don’t be too angry at me. :)

Still on deck — another dragons book. Corsairs. I really, really want to get to Corsairs ASAP so I promise you this isn’t a tease. Anchor and Aspect #3 (Kassam). Nora’s book (IPB). They’re coming! I just need to write faster (story of my life).

Until then, I’m still writing a daily serial which you can read and follow along with on Facebook OR follow on my website. I post a new short chapter every day, and if you like slow burn…well, this is the book for you. It’s my way of giving back in this ongoing Covid-19 crisis. I can’t do much to help, but I can entertain you, right? Right.

This is getting long, so I’ll end it here and just say thank you so much for continuing to read my books and encouraging me. I really do have the best fans in the world and I adore all of you. <3

Ruby

PEOPLE OF ICEHOME

The ‘Castaways’ (Icehome Tribe)

Lauren/Lo – Adult female at the beach camp. Once had glasses. Likes to be a problem solver. Resonates to K’thar, newly pregnant. Friend to Marisol.

Marisol – Terrified adult female at beach camp who is fond of hiding. Gets stranded with Lo on the island. Resonates to T’chai. Due to his sickness, their resonance is ‘turned off’ by the healer.

Hannah – Resonates to J’shel when the island tribes arrive. Newly pregnant. Resident busybody. Now assistant to Veronica.

Angie – Adult female at the beach camp. Pregnant with mystery baby when awoken. Gives birth to Glory (a clone female). Resonates to Vordis. Now pregnant again.

Glory - A qura’aki clone baby, implanted in Angie. Newborn and cute as hell.

Willa – Adult female with a southern twang. Lo’s friend. Gren’s most ardent defender. Resonates to Gren. Pregnant.

Gren (rhymes with HEN) – Beastly, feral ex-gladiator male. Attacks on sight. Resonates to Willa. Soft and fuzzy, according to Aayla.

Veronica – Newest healer on the planet. Resonated to Ashtar upon arrival. Bit of a klutz. Needs to work on her bedside manner. Has enlisted Hannah to be her assistant.

Ashtar (Ash-TARR) – Flirty golden ex-gladiator and former slave. Drakoni male who can shapeshift to a “battle form” as a dragon and has the ability to communicate telepathically. Resonates immediately to Veronica. Stud.

Vordis (Vohr-DISS rhymes with Floor-Miss) – One of the red “twins,” ex-gladiators of a race called a’ani. Longtime friends/brothers with Thrand, another clone. The really devoted one. Hot sauce. Resonates to Angie.

Thrand (rhymes with ‘Bland’ - no one tell him this) – One of the red “twins,” ex-gladiators of a race called a’ani. Longtime friends/brothers with Vordis. The hotheaded, competitive one. Ketchup. Resonates to Nadine.

Tia – Teenager at the beach camp. Flirting with Sessah…and probably everyone else. Treats all the unmated men like they’re her personal harem. Transferred to Croatoan for the time being.

Nadine – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Huntress and go-getter. Resonates to Thrand.

Callie – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Harry Potter fan. Resonated to M’tok. Also hated M’tok for a long, long time. She gets over it.

Bridget – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Friend to Veronica. Hooked up with A’tam. Broke up with A’tam. It’s complicated.

Steph – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Former psychology student.

Raven – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Blonde, despite her name. Hippie parents. Likes to sing. Currently missing.

Penny – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Learning to hunt. Human sunshine. Loves adventure and a good time. Stolen by S’bren. Resonates to S’bren.

Devi – Chatty adult female at beach camp. Scientist nerd. Hair flipper. Loves dinosaurs. Resonates to N’dek and is newly pregnant.

Flordeliza – Adult female at beach camp. Once a nurse. Kind of a clown.

Samantha – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Really fucking loves being on the ice planet, which no one else can figure out.

Daisy - Newcomer! Dropped on the ice planet by Mardok’s old friend Niri. Former slave for over ten years. Very beautiful. Utterly thrilled and ready to mate and have babies, which means everyone unmated hates her.

From the Old Tribe (Croatoan)

Raahosh (Ruh-HOSH) – Hunter of the Croatoan tribe. Messed up horns. Mated to Liz and has 3 daughters, Raashel, Aayla, and now Ahsoka. Generally unpleasant to be around (except to his mate).

Liz – Snarky human mate to Raahosh. Mother to Raashel, Aayla, and newborn Ahsoka. Star Wars nerd. Salty.

Raashel (Ruh-SHELL) - Liz and Raahosh’s oldest daughter. A bit of a tattletale.

Aayla (Ay-LAH) - Liz and Raahosh’s middle child. Fascinated by Gren.

Ahsoka (Uh-soh-kuh) - Liz and Raahosh’s newborn daughter.

Sessah (SESS-uh) – Unmated, lanky, teen sa-khui from Croatoan. Currently dazzled by all the single ladies in Icehome. Upset over Tia’s constant flirting with all unhitched penises.

Rukh (ROOKH) – Hunter of the Croatoan tribe and ex-outcast. His mate is Harlow. Brother to Raahosh, father to Rukhar and now Daya.

Harlow – Mate to Rukh, mother to Rukhar and newborn Daya. She assists Mardok with technology stolen/looted from the broken ships.

Rukhar (ROOKH-arr) – Harlow and Rukh’s young son.

Daya (DIE—uh) Harlow and Rukh’s newborn daughter.

Farli (FAR-lee) – One of the few sa-khui females. Mated to Mardok and has a pet dvisti named Chompy. Pregnant.

Mardok (Mar-DOCK) – Ex-soldier who has chosen to remain on the ice planet. Technology guru. Mated to Farli.

Taushen (Tow (rhymes with cow)-SHEN) – Hunter and mate to Brooke. Recently arrived at Icehome camp.

Brooke – recently mated to Taushen. Hairdresser back on Earth, recently arrived at Icehome camp. Will braid anyone that sits still for more than five minutes. Pregnant.

Bek (BECK) - Hunter and mate to Elly. Recently arrived at the Icehome camp with S’bren and Penny. Utterly devoted to his woman. Kind of a crank-monster otherwise.

Elly - Human female who was kept in alien captivity for over ten years. Very fragile and shy, and tends to regress when uneasy. Adores Gail. Worships Bek. Loves the stars.

The Island Clans

Clan of the Strong Arm

K’thar (Kuh-THARR) – Hunter, de-facto leader of Strong Arm, resonates to Lauren/Lo. Owner of Kki/Fat One.

J’shel (Juh-SHELL) – Young hunter of Strong Arm, resonates to Hannah. Very cheerful. Long braid. Dirty talker.

N’dek (Nuh-DECK) – Hunter of Strong Arm, recently lost a leg in a kaari attack. No longer depressed and sitting around the fire a lot. Resonated to Devi and has prosthetic leg.

I’chai (Eye-shy) – deceased female, mother of Z’hren

Z’hren (ZRENN) – Orphaned child of Strong Arm, now child of Gail and Vaza

Fat One/Kki (KUH-kee) – nightflyer pet of the clan

Gail – adopted parent of Z’hren, older human female, once of Croatoan. Loves to mother everyone in the tribe that will let her.

Vaza – adopted parent of Z’hren, older sa-khui male, once of Croatoan. Loves to give advice, most of it bad.

Clan of the Tall Horn

R’jaal (Arr-JAHL) – Clan leader of Tall Horn. Kinda lonely.

T’chai (Tuh-SHY) – Hunter of Tall Horn, resonates to Marisol.Attacked by skyclaw on the island and nearly dies of wounds, so the healer stops his resonance. Eventually re-resonates to Mari.

M’tok (Muh-TOCK) – Hunter of Tall Horn, resonates to Callie. Likes things neat and orderly. Bit of a sneak.

S’bren (Suh-BRENN) – Hunter, brother to M’tok. He’s the brawn (the Pinky?) to M’tok’s brains. Goober around women. Steals Penny for himself and resonates to her.

Clan of the Shadow Cat

I’rec (I WRECK) – Clan leader. Kind of a shit-stirrer. One of Tia’s flirt targets.

O’jek (Oh-JECK) – Hunter. Quiet. One of Tia’s flirt targets.

A’tam (Uh-TAMM) – Hunter, said to be the handsomest on the island. Currently messed up over Bridget.

U’dron (Ooh-DRONN) – Hunter. Fisher. All around sporty type. Plays a mean drum. Currently fascinated with Raven.

NEED MORE RUBY DIXON?

Of course you do! I mean, come on. ;)

All of my books are Kindle Unlimited, so why not take a stroll through my backlist? Here are just a few suggestions depending on what you’re in the mood for. Read away!

Want to start Icehome from the beginning?

Lauren’s Barbarian

Veronica’s Dragon

Willa’s Beast

…or start from the VERY VERY beginning?

Ice Planet Barbarians

Or maybe you’re in the mood for an epic slow burn with some sweetness and a cat-alien gladiator hero?

When She Purrs

Enjoy!

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Contents

MARI’S MISTAKE

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Epilogue

Epilogue II

Author’s Note

PEOPLE OF ICEHOME

Need More Ruby Dixon?

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Contents

MARI’S MISTAKE

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Epilogue

Epilogue II

Author’s Note

PEOPLE OF ICEHOME

Need More Ruby Dixon?